A YANKEE 
 
 AMONG THS 
 
 NULLIFIEKS: 
 
 AN AUTO-BIOGRAPHY. 
 
 BY ELNATHAN ELMWOOD, ESQ. 
 
 And now the victor stretched his eager hand 
 Where the tall Nothing stood, or seemed to stand 
 A shapeless shade it vanished from his sight 
 Like forms in clouds, or visions of the night, 
 
 Pope s Dunciad. 
 
 SECOND EDITION. 
 
 NEW- YORK: 
 
 PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM PEARSON; 
 CORTLANDT-STREET. 
 
 1833. 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 
 one thousand eight hundred and thirty-three, in 
 the Clerk s office of the Southern district of 
 New-York. 
 
I 
 
 TO THE 
 HONORABLE TRISTRAM SURGES. 
 
 The friend of Equal Rights, the untiring champ 
 ion of American Industry, and skilful defender 
 of "YANKEE NOTIONS :" with admiration for 
 his statesman-like qualities, his fearless oratory, 
 and effective wit, this volume is respectfully 
 dedicated, by 
 
 THE AUTHOR. 
 
 ELMWOOD RETREAT, 
 Feb. 1, 1833. 
 
 - M760119 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 In the numberless edifying stories related at 
 the South, of the encounter of Northern and 
 Southern wits, in the way of trade, one thing is 
 constantly to be observed namely, that the 
 Southern man is caught by the artifices of the 
 Northern one ; he is the dupe. It follows of 
 course, that the Yankee is the better man of the 
 two ; at least, here is an acknowledgment of the 
 efficiency of his head, whatever may be alleged 
 of the obliquity of his heart. 
 
 But these, it is to be recollected, are South 
 ern pictures ; and though abundantly flattering 
 to the acuteness of the North, yet the lion is not 
 the painter. The reader will doubtless bear this 
 in mind in the perusal of the following pages ; 
 and if he find any story or anecdote of "Yankee 
 tricks," bordering close upon the improbable, 
 and at the same time not particularly compli 
 mentary to Yankee honesty, he will remember 
 such anecdote is of Southern origin, and al low- 
 it as much credence as he can afford. 
 
A YANKEE 
 
 AMONG THE NULLIF1ERS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 INTRODUCTION BIRTH EDUCATION PROFES 
 SIONAL STUDIES FALLING IN LOVE. 
 
 THE Americans are essentially a moving people. 
 A man cannot long be contented in the same 
 spot ; and the son rarely stays and vegetates on 
 the ground where his father flourished. This 
 is particularly true of the people of New England. 
 The tide of emigration is constantly flowing to 
 the South and the West. Into one or the other o^ 
 these currents, the sons of the pilgrims, led on 
 by a spirit of enterprise, or a desire of change, 
 are very apt to fall. Such was the case with 
 me but before I come to this part of my story, 
 it may be well to say something of my birth, pa 
 rentage, and education. 
 
 My ancestors, as far as I can discover, were 
 among the first people in the world. I need not 
 
8 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 say more ; and. a proper regard for the dignity 
 of my descent, would not permit me to say less. 
 But whatever of fame or fortune my early pro 
 genitors might" have enjoyed, either before or 
 since the flood, it never came, to my certain be 
 lief, within twenty generations of me. Therefore 
 I had to begin, as the lawyers say de novo, and 
 be my own purveyor of whatever fortune or dis 
 tinction I at present enjoy. But Hercules is ever 
 ready to aid those who in earnest put their 
 shoulder to the wheel. 
 
 I was born in Massachusetts, somewhere 
 about forty miles from Boston, and somewhere 
 about the beginning of the present century. 
 Though my parents were in very humble cir 
 cumstances, and could neither wear fine clothes 
 nor afford them to their clildren ; they never- 
 thelesshad a proper sense of the value of that in- 
 ward adorning, which as far surpasseth all out- 
 ward show, as the productions of the ablest pen 
 exceed the gilt leather in which they are enclosed. 
 Accordingly they gave us all they could the 
 opportunity of a common school education ; and 
 taught us both by precept and example, the ad 
 vantages of a pure and spotless life. 
 
 But a common school education did not satisfy 
 me. I had heard of Colleges, where the pupil 
 could quaff from the pure fountains of Greece and 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 9 
 
 Home ; and I had set before me, as examples of 
 teamed perfection, the lawyer and the clergyman 
 of our town, who seemed to my youthful fancy 
 to be all that was great, not only^in law and di 
 vinity, but likewise in ancient and modern lore. 
 Alas ! they were the last of the cocked hats 
 and the bob wigs. The long grass now wave* 
 above them ; yet never shall I forget the admir 
 ation and the reverence wherewith I used to 
 behold them and listen to their oracular tongues, 
 the one, as he cited many a learned precedent 
 in favour of his client s cause ; and the other, 
 as he stood in the pulpit, giving me the best 
 idea I have ever had of that passage in Homer, 
 
 "Shook his ambrosial curls and gave the nod, 
 The stamp of fate, and sanction of a. god :" 
 
 for such almost, if not quite, was the effect, ia 
 the days of my chidhood, of the reverend 
 appearance and sacred function of the pastor of 
 the flock. But, with the silver-gray wig and 
 three cornered hat, have passed away a great 
 part of the awe and veneration, which once 
 attached to the clerical character. 
 
 With such examples before me, to say nothing 
 of other learned men whom I had chanced to 
 read of, I resolved on going to College. But 
 how was I to get there? My father, as I hare 
 
10 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 said, did all he could when he gave me the ad 
 vantages of a common school education ; and I 
 had no rich relations or beneficent friend to take 
 me by the hand and lead me to the goal of my 
 desires. I had nothing to do but to wait patiently 
 till I should become a man, and then look out 
 for myself. I had got learning enough to teach 
 a school ; and I determined that my winter earn 
 ings should support me in my summer studies. 
 
 The elder Adams had been a schoolmaster ; 
 and the Declaration of Independence did not 
 come from his tongue with a whit the less force 
 for having employed that tongue in communica. 
 ting to childhood and youth the rudiments of 
 knowledge. Other illustrious examples were 
 not wanting of men, who, in early life had taught 
 others in order to acquire the means of being 
 taught themselves. In fact it was a common 
 ^ing, and so continues to this day, for the na. 
 tive students of New England to support them- 
 selves in whole, or in part, at college, by taking 
 upon them temporarily the duties and vexa 
 tions of a schoolmaster ; and with due deference 
 to those, if any there be, who think otherwise, 
 I must declare that I know of no more honor, 
 able employment than that of improving the minds 
 and morals of the rising generation; and if one 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 11 
 
 nation exceeds another in true greatness and sub- 
 stantial glory, it is that where the schoolmaster is 
 most abroad in the land. 
 
 But enough of this. I taught a country school ; 
 birched my scholars as much as was necessary 
 for my own quiet and their improvement ; went 
 to College at Cambridge ; kept bachelor s hall, 
 the better to husband my resources ; lost no time 
 in idle amusements ; attended prayers regularly 
 night and morning ; was never rusticated, fined, 
 or censured, for robbing a hen-roost, cutting the 
 bell-rope, or enacting any other college pranks 
 whereby certain young men are exceedingly 
 fond of distinguishing themselves, but which 
 distinction ever seemed to me at best only a 
 " bad eminence. " 
 
 In short, I graduated with honor. My mind 
 was stored with Latin and Greek, but my 
 pocket was destitute of pence. I very naturally 
 therefore fell into the tide of emigration, and 
 taking the Southern current, soon found myself 
 located in the land of cotton and rice, of hot heads 
 and generous hearts, of republican theory and 
 .aristocratic practice. 
 
 My first employment was that of teaching 
 
 " the young idea how to shoot." 
 
12 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 in the family of Colonel Peterson, a rich plan 
 ter in South Carolina. From this I soon studied 
 law. The Colonel, with true Southern benefi 
 cence, taking me generously by the hand, 
 supplying my pecuniary wants, patronizing my 
 first professional efforts, and leading me forward 
 in the world. 
 
 In the neighborhood lived another planter 
 who had an only daughter, some sixteen or 
 seventeen years of age. Mr. Harrington not 
 agreeing with Dr. Johnson, that " one tongue 
 is enough in all conscience for any woman, " 
 would needs have his daughter instructed in the 
 rudiments of Latin. I accepted the task task 
 do I call it ? Heaven forgive the word ! and 
 I hope Henrietta will forgive it too. I muse 
 say I never before had so agreeable a pupil, 
 or one whom I thought it so little of a task to 
 teach. It was not that she jabbered Latin 
 more fluently, or gave a more accurate transla 
 tion than others ; it was not that she paid more 
 attention to her studies, or recited longer 
 lessons than they ; but somehow or other she 
 was the most interesting pupil I ever had ; and 
 I could have instructed her from morning till 
 night and from night till morning again, if neces 
 sary, without the least feeling of irksomeness. 
 or fatigue. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 13 
 
 But Henrietta Harrington, though young 
 enough to learn, was old enough to teach. She 
 taught me how to love. She hao 1 the pleasantest 
 way in the world, too, of doing it, such archness 
 of manner such playful simplicity such charm. 
 ing naiviete such a charming way of giving her 
 instructions ! I in turn became her pupil my 
 heart responded to her teachings though my 
 reason assured me that I should have to encoun- 
 ter the prejudices of her family and friends. 
 
 Never shall I forgot the day when I first un- 
 dertook to learn her the variations of the verb 
 amo. " How do you decline amo, to love ? " 
 said I. 
 
 "Amo, to /ore," said she, " I m sure I shall 
 never decline it in the world." 
 
 " I beg your pardon, Miss/ said I, feeling the 
 force of the implied emendation " be good 
 enough to conjugate it then ?" 
 
 " I ll try," said she, "with all my heart." 
 
 Though Henrietta and myself, with that ex 
 pressive language of love, which requires few 
 words, perfectly understood one another, it was 
 not deemed prudent, under existing circumstances 
 to make any open parade of our affections. I had 
 gtill to complete my professional studies, and thea 
 make my way in the world by dint of practice* 
 1 well knew that Mr. Harrington would 
 
14 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 consent to give his daughter to a penniless man ; 
 and as a penniless one, I was resolved not to 
 ask it. 
 
 If any thing could ever reconcile me to the 
 life of a schoolmaster, it would be the having a 
 charming young lady for a pupil ; and were I 
 President of the United States, I doubt very 
 much whether I should enjoy the office so much 
 as I did that of tutor pro tern, to Miss Henrietta 
 Harrington. As for her father, he was too 
 much engaged in politics, State Rights, and 
 Nullification, to have leisure or thought for so 
 small a matter as the possibility of his daughter 
 falling in love with a Yankee schoolmaster. 
 
CHAPTER II. 
 
 RUNNING FOR CONGRESS A STUMP SPEECH - 
 A DEFEAT. 
 
 I had now commenced the practice of law ; 1 
 was successful in getting clients, and fortunate in 
 gaining causes. I even began to be looked to as 
 a man of some political consequence, and as the 
 probable candidate for the favors of the people. 
 In a word, I was urged to run for Congress, I 
 felt flattered with these proofs of the good opinion 
 of my clients and neighbors. I always considered 
 it an honest ambition to strive for power, where 
 one can benefit mankind ; and according to the 
 custom of my adopted State, I announced myself 
 as a candidate for a seat in the National 
 Legislature. 
 
 But I was not so fortunate as to run alone. I 
 was opposed by Major Harebrain Harrington, a 
 distant relation of my charming pupil : and a red 
 hot Nullifier. The following is an extract from 
 his stump speech, as reported at the time, in the 
 Thunder and Lightning" Gazette. 
 
 " Gentlemen and Fellow Citizens," said he, "I 
 
16 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 hold that every man s sentiments should be writ 
 ten on his forehead with firebrand, so that the 
 blazing characters may be read by him who rides 
 the winged whirlwind, without ever missing a 
 word. [Bravo ! Bravo ! and immense applause.] 
 
 " You know, gentlemen, I have always acted 
 on this principle. You know what my opinion 
 has hitherto been in relation to State Rights and 
 the unconstitutionality of the Tariff. What I 
 have more than once declared to you, I still de 
 clare that the Tariff the accursed Tariff is 
 unconstitutional oppressive tyrannical. It is 
 a Yankee measure. 
 
 "I am opposed to the protection of American 
 manufactures. If I thought there was in this 
 heart one drop of blood in favor of the encou 
 ragement of home industry, I would let it out 
 yes, gentlemen, I would let it out but I would 
 go to the world s end before I would make use 
 of an American knife to let it out. No Patriot, 
 no friend to his country, no advocate for State 
 rights will be, so base as to use a protected arti- 
 ele. For my part I would not hang a dog with 
 an American rope. 
 
 " What right, gentleman, have the Yankees to 
 the protection of their looms, their spinning jen 
 nies, their wooden nutmegs, their horn gun-flints, 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 17 
 
 their tin side-saddles and all the cursed notions 
 that are now protected by the accursed Tariff ? 
 Is one part of the country to be built up at the 
 expense of another. Are the money-catching, 
 penny-saving, tin-peddling, notion-vending, ne 
 ver-idle Jonathans of the East to be for ever 
 making money, hand over fist, and getting rich 
 as Croesus, while we, the highminded gentlemen 
 of the South, who are above touching our fingers 
 to any thing in the way of labor or business, are 
 daily becoming poorer and poorer, and hasten- 
 ing with the speed of lightning to the goal of 
 ruin ? And what is all this owing to ? Clearly 
 to the protection of manufactures. 
 
 "The Tariff, gentlemen, is unconstitutional, 
 and any body may see with half an eye nay, 
 without any eyes at all that what I assert is 
 true. Nevertheless, gentlemen, I will prove it 
 to you as clear as the noon day sun. Any law 
 that operates more oppressively upon one portion 
 of the community than another is unconstitution 
 al ; r the Tariff operates harder upon the planters 
 than the manufacturers: ergo, the Tariff is un-j/ 
 constitonal [Bravo! Bravo! and great applause.] 
 
 " The people of the North deny that we have 
 the right of deciding on the constitutionality of 
 the United States laws. But fellow Citizens you 
 
18 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 all know perfectly well that we of the south pos 
 sess that right. It was guaranteed to us by the 
 federal compact. 
 
 "What ! shall a sovereign and independent 
 State, which entered into a free and voluntary 
 league with certain other States, for the erection 
 of a general government, be bound, nolens vo- 
 tens, by the acts of that government ? What ! 
 shall a state of the chivalrous and high minded 
 South be restrained by, or acknowledge allegi 
 ance to a power which she herself helped to cre 
 ate ? Shall she be compelled to pay duties on the 
 products of foreign countries, for the benefit of 
 such as are grown or manufactured at home? 
 
 "Perish the whole Union first ! Perish the 
 Constitution and the laws ! Perish the Yankees, 
 with all their cotton mills, their patent inventions, 
 and their infernal notions for robbing us Southern 
 gentlemen of our money ! Sooner would I see the 
 Union burst to atoms, and the fragments blown 
 beyond the utmost bounds of interminable space ; 
 sooner would I see the moon turn to fire and the 
 sun quenched in the ocean ; sooner would I see 
 the devil fly away with the whole country, and 
 South Carolina to boot, than longer submit to 
 such a state of things. 
 
 " What ! gentlemen, shall we who grow 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 19 
 
 cotton be subjected to all the burdens of the 
 Tariff ? Ay, gentlemen, I say all for I take it 
 to be perfectly demonstrable that we of the 
 South do actually pay all the duties. The 
 Yankees to be sure, with all their cunning and 
 disregard of truth, will tell you that the consum 
 er pays the duties ; and that each individual 
 bears the burdens just in proportion to the 
 amount of dutiable articles which he consumes. 
 But I tell you gentlemen, that this is a false 
 theory, introduced merely to suit the interests 
 and views of the Tariff men. The only true 
 and rational theory is that which makes the 
 producer pay all the duty. 
 
 " For instance now, I, a citizen of the so 
 vereign State of South Carolina, grow forty bales 
 of cotton ; while Peter Pumpkin, a citizen of 
 Connecticut consumes in his family forty hogs 
 heads of molasses. Peter is a manufacturer of 
 cotton goods which are protected by a duty of 
 forty per cent ad valorem ; is it not perfectly 
 clear then, that I who grow the forty bales of 
 cotton, am saddled with the whole burden of 
 duty levied on the forty hogsheads of molasses 
 consumed by Peter Pumpkin ? I think, gen- 
 tlemen, you will all agree with me that this 
 theory is perfectly correct. Hence it follows, that 
 
20 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 the more cotton a Southern Planter raises the 
 greater is the amount of duties which he is 
 compelled to pay. 
 
 " Heavens ! shall we submit to such a state 
 of things ? Shall the high-minded gentlemen 
 of the South, who grow cotton, be taxed for the 
 benefit of the vile, penny-saving, notion-peddling 
 Yankees, who thrive on pork and molasses ? 
 Perish the whole universal Yankee nation ! fall 
 every cotton mill ! die every sheep ! strike fire 
 every horn gun flint, and blow the whole to the 
 devil ! before we will submit to such a state of 
 things ! " What then shall we do, gentlemen 
 and Fellow-Citizens ! What shall we do, did I 
 say ! Why the case is perfectly clear : 
 NULLIFY; I say NULLIFY. [Nullify ! 
 nullify i responded from a hundred voices.] Gen 
 tlemen, it is highly gratifying to know that you 
 respond to me in sentiment. I say again, gen 
 tlemen, that we must resort to Nullification. 
 We must refuse to pay duties. What! shall Con 
 gress have a right to enact a law which South 
 Carolina has not an equal right to abrogate ? 
 Heaven forefend ! This right is clearly guaran 
 teed by the Constitution. It is among our 
 reserved rights; and we will blow the Union to at- 
 oms sooner than we will yield one jot or tittle of it. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 21 
 
 " The Constitution of the United States has 
 provided, that whenever a law of Congress shall 
 be deemed obnoxious to the citizens of any State, 
 that shall have a right, in its sovereign capacity, 
 to declare such obnoxious law null and void or 
 in other words, to nullify it. If such were not 
 the case, the Constitution would be imperfect ; 
 and instead of being free and sovereign States, 
 as we now are, with the right of Nullification 
 according to our sovereign will and pleasure, the 
 government would be a mere consolidation ; 
 the reserved rights of the States would be a 
 downright nonentity ; and the sovereign State 
 of South Carolina would be nothing more than a 
 province of the General Government to be 
 trodden under foot at will, whenever the great 
 mammoth of consolidation, at Washington, 
 should see fit to crush us to the earth. 
 
 " Shall the democracy of the South look 
 tamely on and see themselves despoiled by the 
 tories of the North ? Shall we who produce 
 cotton and rice be taxed for the sole benefit of 
 those who consume pork and molasses ? Shall 
 we submit to be ruled forever by cotton spinners, 
 pedlers, and pedagogues ? 
 
 " By giving me your suffrages, gentlemen, 
 I trust you will prove to the contrary. You 
 
22 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 want a man of firmness to represent you ; an 
 uncompromising enemy to the Tariff; an unyield 
 ing advocate of State Rights ; and an undivided 
 Nullifies " 
 
 His speech was received with a clapping of 
 hands, a throwing up of hats, and a shout of 
 huzzas, that made the very heavens ring again. 
 What could I do agains t such an antagonist ? To 
 be sure, I made a speech in my turn, wherein I 
 refuted the absurdities of my opponent. I met 
 his slander and abuse of the Yankees by appeal- 
 ing to facts. I parried his contemptible thrust 
 at me for having been a schoolmaster, by observ 
 ing that the South owed half its wealth to a 
 schoolmaster and a Yankee the inventor of 
 the Cotton Gin. I refuted the accusation of 
 Northern toryism, by referring to the records of 
 . our Revolutionary War, whereby it appeared 
 that Massachusetts alone had furnished more than 
 sixty six thousand regular soldiers, at the different 
 enlistments, for the support of that war ; while 
 South Carolina scarcely furnished seven thousand 
 I mentioned the battles which General Greene, 
 the Rhode Island Quaker, fought against the 
 Southern tories. In a word, I defended myself 
 and the land of my birth, and retorted the accusa 
 tions of my opponent as became a man of spirit. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 23 
 
 My party applauded, and I felt satisfied with 
 my efforts. 
 
 But I might as well have held my tongue, for 
 any good my speech did me. The Nullifiers car 
 ried all before them in my district, and Major 
 Harebrain Harrington was elected by an over 
 whelming majority. 
 
CHAPTER III. 
 
 THE HORSE RACE THE ARTIFICIAL TAIL 
 STORY OF THE TIN PEDLER AND SLEEPY DA 
 VID THE GREY MARE PROVES THE BETTER 
 HORSE. 
 
 Among the amusements of the South, the 
 race holds a principal place. It is astonishing 
 with what zest the native sons of this region en 
 ter into this sport. Not even the all absorbing 
 business of Nullification can interfere with the 
 regular return of the races, or mar the accustom 
 ed enjoyments of the course, Yet, as every 
 thing is apt to take a coloring from the prevailing 
 topic of interest, and names are often considered 
 as synonymous with things ; it happened about 
 this time that a great stir was made in relation 
 to a race about to be run between Mr.Blaze s 
 sorrel horse, Nuttifier, and Mr. Thompson s gray 
 mare Union. 
 
 People had collected from all quarters to wit 
 ness this race ; and even I, Yankee as I am, could 
 not resist the temptation to be present. The bet 
 of the principals was twenty thousand dollars 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 25 
 
 each; besides there were innumerable smaller wa 
 gers on either side, as the people happened to feel 
 interested in this or that individual, or to confide 
 in the racy qualities, if I may so speak, of their 
 respective steeds. Most of the bettors, however, 
 were guided by political preference, each one 
 taking part and hazarding his money according 
 as he happened to fancy the names of the dif 
 ferent horses, or to agree with their owners on 
 the subject of the Tariff, State Rights and Nul- 
 iification. To the natural interest therefore 
 of the race, was superadded the all-exciting 
 one of political feeling and prejudice. 
 
 I had taken care to be upon the ground early 
 in order to obtain a ravorable location for 
 witnessing the sport ^ and as it was sometime 
 before the horses appeared on the ground, I had 
 leisure to be amused with the conversation of a 
 native South Carolinian who happened to be 
 seated next me. He was not long in discovering 
 his political bias, for he commenced by asking 
 which horse I was in favor of, and on being 
 told I had no particular preference, he declared 
 he was in favor of the State and opposed to the 
 Union. " The State and the Union !" exclaim 
 ed I " what have they to do with the race?" 
 2 
 
2Q A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 What ! why, much sir the character of the 
 State is concerned in issue of this race. If the 
 Gray Mare should carry the day but it s 
 impossible sir, she can t do a hooter against 
 Nullifier. I ve bet a cool thousand upon his 
 head ; and if you dare stand me continued he, 
 whipping out his pocket book, " here is another 
 thousand which I am ready to venture." 
 " Excuse me, sir, I never bet. " 
 " Indeed \ then you must be a Yankee. " 
 " True, sir, I was born one, but am at pre 
 sent a citizen of South Carolina." 
 
 " I was sure you must be a Down Easter. 
 No Southern man would refuse to bet, and espe- 
 cially:when the honor of his state was at stake. 
 By the" by, speaking of Down East, and horses 
 and the like, I have a story to tell of a Yankee 
 trick played off on one of our Southern gentle 
 men. We generally consider ourselves sharp 
 enough for any body in the way of horse-flesh, 
 whatever we may be in regard to horn gun- flints 
 and silver side-saddles. But even here the 
 Yankee was too cute, as they say Down East 
 for the Southern jockey. I think twas in the 
 way of a swap ; but however that might be the 
 South Carolinian had scarcely had possession of 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 27 
 
 the Yankee s horse twenty-four hours, when 
 the tail, which was an uncommonly handsome 
 switch, dropt off having been merely fastened 
 on with a single screw which was broken by 
 rubbing against the side of the stable, or was worn 
 out by fighting flies, I don t exactly remember 
 which. At all events, the horse, which cost as 
 good as two hundred dollars, was found in the 
 morning without the least sign of a tail. And 
 what do you think the owner did ?" 
 
 " Why, sir," said I, ci if I may be allowed to 
 use a borrowed joke, and avail myself likewise 
 of the Yankee privilege, I might guess, that he 
 sold the horse at wholesale, inasmuch as he pro 
 bably could not re-tail him." 
 
 " Good ! sir, good ! you speak like a book, 
 The gentleman disposed of the horse to the next 
 Yankee that came along for fifteen dollars. He 
 was a fine looking animal, with the exception of 
 the posterior deficiency ; and the second Yankee, 
 as it afterwards turned out , having ingeniously 
 re-tailed him, as you say, sold him once more, 
 for another two hundred dollars." 
 
 "An excellent story certainly," said I, " but, 
 like most of those related of the Yankees, it 
 wants probability." 
 
 64 Why, as to that, sir, " said my companion 
 
28 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 who seemed to be a very good natured man, 
 "you have it for what it is worth. But I- can 
 tell you another horse story, for the truth of 
 which I can vouch, as I lost a cool two thousand 
 dollars by it. 
 
 " The Yankees, as I told you before, are apt 
 to be too cute for us in every thing except 
 horse-flesh, and even sometimes in that. It was 
 this day three years ago, and on this very 
 spot, that I entered my horse Southron for a 
 purse of two thousand dollars. He had won a 
 like sum the year before with all ease. In short 
 he was the best horse at that time in all Caroli- 
 na. There were to be sure two other horses, 
 and very fine ones too, entered against him ; but 
 they were no touch to Southron, and I was as 
 sure of winning as I am of sitting here at this 
 moment when who should come along but a 
 
 d d Yankee with a tin-cart ! He had the 
 
 shabbiest, worst looking horse you ever set eyes 
 on. He was a lean, slab-sided, crook-legged, 
 rough-haired, milk-and-molasses-colored son of a 
 gun as ever went on four legs. He stood all the 
 time as if he was asleep in fact, his owner call, 
 ed him SLEEPY DAVID. In short, sir, he was 
 such a horse as would not have brought twenty 
 dollars. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 29 
 
 "It was near the hour of starting, when the 
 pedlrfr, whose exterior corresponded marvellous- 
 ly with that of his horse, and who said his name 
 was Zadock Barker, to the astonishment of all, 
 intimated a wish to enter his horse along with 
 the rest. 
 
 "Your horse ! " exclaimed I "what, that 
 sleepy looking devil there ? You d better enter 
 him for the turkey-buzzards. " 
 
 4 Not as you know on, Mister," returned the 
 Yankee, with some show of spirit. "To be sure 
 the critter looks rather sleepy as he stands, and 
 on that account 1 call him Sleepy David ; but he 
 is a jo-fired smart horse for all that. He is like 
 a singed cat, a darned sight better than he looks. 
 I should like tarnation well to try him against 
 some of your South Carolina hosses. To be sure 
 I did nt come all the way from home on purpose ; 
 but as I was coming out this way with a load of 
 tin and other notions, I thought I might time it so 
 as to kill two birds with one stone ; for thinks I 
 to myself, if I can win the purse and peddle off 
 my notions at the same time, I shall make a 
 plaguy good spec. But I had to hurry on like 
 the nation to get here in season ; and that s one 
 reason my hoss looks so kind of shabby and out 
 of kilter this morning. But for all that, he ll 
 perform like a days work I tell you." 
 
30 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 G ("Supposing he had no idea of running his horse, 
 and that all he said was merely to gratify his 
 propensity for talking, I bade him begone and 
 
 not trouble us with his d d Yankee pelaver. 
 
 "Why, Mister", said he "this is a free country, 
 and a man has a right to talk, or let it alone, 
 I jest as he can afford. Now Iv e taken a good 
 \ deal of pains to git here this morning in order to 
 | run Sleepy David against some of your Southern 
 . hossest I aint a joking sir, I m in airnest. I 
 understand there is a purse of two thousand dol 
 lars, and I should like amazingly to pick it up." 
 " You talk of picking up a purse of two thou- 
 | sand dollars with that bit of carrion of yours ! 
 Away with you, and don t trouble us any 
 further." 
 
 "Well, if I can t run, then I spose I can t, but 
 it s darned hard any how for a man to take so 
 much pains as I have, to come to the races, and 
 then can t be allowed to run arter all." 
 
 " It s too late now ; by the rules of the course 
 the horse should have been entered yesterday ; 
 however, if you ll plank the entrance money, 
 perhaps you may get in yet." I said this by way 
 of getting rid of the fellow, having no idea he 
 could command a fourth part of the sum re 
 quired. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 31 
 
 " How much might the entrance money be ?" 
 drawing out a purse containing a few shillings in 
 silver and a few pence in copper. " If it aint 
 more n a quarter of a dollar, or so, I ll plank it 
 on the nail." 
 
 " It is two hundred dollars." 
 " Two hundred dollars !" exclaimed the Yan 
 kee. " By gauly, what a price ! Why they 
 axed me only a quarter of a dollar to see the 
 Elephant and the whole Caravan in New York* 
 Two hundred dollars ! Why you must be joking 
 now. Bless me ! my whole load of tin ware, hoss, 
 wagon and all would nt fetch that. But, Mister, 
 don t you think I could get in for ten dollars ?" 
 
 " Nothing short of two hundred ; and that must 
 belaid in the short space of five minutes." 
 
 " We now thought we had fairly got rid of 
 the fellow ; but he returned to the charge, and 
 asked if fifty dollars would nt do, then seventy- 
 five, then a hundred ; and finding he could not 
 make a bargain for less than the regular sum, 
 he engaged to give it, provided he could find any 
 one to loan him the money, for which he offered 
 to pawn his wagon load of notions and Sleepy 
 David to boot. He asked one, then another, to 
 accommodate him with the loan declaring that 
 as soon as ever he took the puree, the money 
 
32 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 should be returned, and he would give a dozen of 
 tin whistles into the bargain. He, however, got 
 more curses than coppers, until some wag, who 
 had plenty of cash, and liked to see the sport go 
 on, lent him the two hundred dollars out of sheer 
 malice. Though, as it afterwards turned out, 
 the Yankee had money enough about him, and 
 was merely playing the possum all the while. 
 
 " His next object was to borrow a saddle. 
 Here also he was accommodated ; and taking 
 Sleepy David from the tin-cart, he scrambled up. 
 on his back, and took his station on the course. 
 You never saw a fellow sit a horse so awkwardly 
 in all your life. Every body said he would fall 
 before he had gone a hudred yards ; and some, 
 out of compassion, urged him to withdraw. 
 
 " Not by a darned sight," exclaimed he 
 Why, do you think I m such a tarnal fool as 
 to pay two hundred dollars, and then not run ar- 
 ter all ?" 
 
 * : Others, who wanted to see the sport, though 
 it should cost some broken bones, encouraged him 
 to proceed saying, as they laughed aloud, that 
 they had no doubt but he would carry off the 
 purse. 
 
 - That s what I mean to do/ said he " I 
 hamt come here for nothing, I can tell you. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 
 
 Wake up, Sleepy David, and look about you ; 
 \ou must have your eyes open to-day ; it s nc 
 time to be snoozin when there s money at stake." 
 
 " The horse, as if he understood what his mas- 
 Jer was saying, opened his eyes, pricked up hi* 
 ears, and actually showed some signs oflife. 
 
 4i The signal was now given to start. Away 
 sprang Southron, with the speed of lightning, and 
 away sprang the other Southern horses, leaving 
 Sleepy David far in the rear, and the pedler 
 verging from side to side, as if he was just 
 ready to fall off. The horse went pawing along 
 with his tail clinging close to his haunches, and 
 his nose stuck out straight before him ; and you 
 never beheld so queer a figure cut by any man 
 and horse as this singular pair made, 
 
 " But they improved as they proceeded ; the 
 pedler sat more jockey like., and the horse evi 
 dently gained upon the others. But it would no: 
 do. He came in a long way behind Southron, and 
 not a very short one behind the others. 
 
 " It was now thought the Yankee had got 
 enough of the race, and would withdraw before 
 the next heat. Contrary to all expectation, how- 
 ever, he persevered ; and even offered to bet a. 
 thousand dollars on the issue of the race. 
 
 " The fellow s a fool," said one. 
 2* 
 
34 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " He don t know which side his bread is but- 
 ered," said another, "or else he woud nt risk any 
 more money on so desperate a stake." 
 
 "He s safe enough there ," said a third, "for 
 he has no more to risk." 
 
 " Here, however, every body was mistaken 
 again, for the pedlar hauled out an old greasy*/ 
 pocket book and planked the thousand dollars. 
 It was covered of course. But I confess I now 
 began to be staggered ; and to suspect the Yan 
 kee was, after all, more knave than fooj. I had 
 no fears, however, for the purse. Southron was 
 not a horse to be beaten in one day, and espe 
 cially by such a miserable looking devil as Sleepy 
 David. 
 
 " The second heat was now commenced ; And, 
 if I had before felt confident in the errare superi 
 ority of my noble horse Southron, that confidence 
 was strengthened, as I again saw him coming in 
 ahead of the rest. I considered the purse now as 
 my own property. In imagination I had grasped 
 it, and was about putting it safely in my pocket, 
 when lo and behold ! the pedlar s horse, which 
 was behind all the rest, suddenly shot forward as 
 if the devil kicked him an end ; and, stretching 
 his neck like a crane, won the heat by a head. 
 " Every body was astonished. That horse 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 35 
 
 must be the devil himself, said one. At least, he 
 has the devil to back him, said another ; I was 
 sure he would play some Yankee trick be 
 fore he had got through." Such were the obser 
 vations that passed from mouth to mouth. 
 
 The Yankee, in the meantime, offered to plank 
 another thousand dollars ; but nobody would take 
 the bet. And it was well they did nt ; for at the 
 third heat, Sleepy David not only distanced every 
 horse, < but even came in a full quarter of a mile 
 ahead of Southron himself. 
 
 " There, by gauly ! said the Yankee, as he 
 dismounted, I ll take that are leetle purse if you 
 please, and the tother cool thousand ! I knew 
 well enough that your Southern bosses could nt 
 hold a candle to Sleepy David" 
 
 Here the South Carolinian ended his story. 
 It was now time for the race to begin, and my 
 companion was too much interested in the con 
 test of the State against the Union, to think any 
 thing more, for the time being, of Yankee tricks. 
 Every body took sides either for one horse or 
 the other. For my own part, tho* I was resolv 
 ed not to let my political feelings enter into so 
 small an affair as a horse race, I could not help 
 being in favor of the gray mare Union, and fully 
 Relieved that in the end she would prove herself 
 
36 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 the better horse. The ladies, also, as far I had 
 an opportunity to observe, generally took the 
 same side ; ^vhether it was owing to the name, or 
 the sex of the animal, I could not well make out. 
 Perhaps the truth lay between. x At any rate, 
 there was much waving of handkerchiefs and 
 many fair smiles at every little appearance of 
 success Attained by the beautiful mare, Union. 
 
 The gentlemen, on the contrary, were mostly 
 in favour of the sorrel horse, Nullifier. 
 
 " Hurrah for the sorrel !" exclaimed one ; " PH 
 bet a hundred niggers against a hundred bales of 
 cotton, that the State wins the money. 
 
 "Done !" said a Union man. 
 
 " Hurrah for Nullifier ! Hurrah for the sor 
 rel !" shouted several other voices. 
 
 " Hurrah for the gray mare ! hurrah for Union ! 
 was answered on the other hand. " Who dares 
 take part with the Union aganst the State !" roar 
 ed a Nullifier ; at the same time putting himself 
 in an attitude of fight. 
 
 " /," stoutly replied a Union man, likewise 
 preparing himself for combat. 
 
 At it they went, and the State Rights man, who 
 happened to be the least sober of the two, very 
 soon bellowed, ".Enough !" Several other bat. 
 ties were fought in like manner sometimes one 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 37 
 
 party and sometimes the other carrying the day. 
 But most of the spectators were too much interest, 
 ed in the race, to suffer their attention to be drawn 
 off for a moment from the noble steeds that were 
 straining every nerve for victory. 
 
 The first heat was won by Nullifier ; when the 
 State Rights party, shouted till the heavens rang 
 again at the momentary triumph. 
 
 " Two to one on Nullifier !" said my compan 
 ion. " Dare you stand me, sir ? Oh, 1 beg par 
 don, sir you never bet." 
 
 " Four to one on Nullifier !" exclaimed ano 
 ther. 
 
 " Six to one on Nullifier !" shouted a third. 
 
 But their triumph was of short duration. The 
 sorrel horse, who had shown no want of speed, 
 proved deficient in bottom. He began to flag in 
 the second heat, and entirely broke down in the 
 third. The shouts of victory now rose long and 
 loud 6 from the other side ; and the waving of 
 handkerchiefs and the clapping of fair hands., 
 showed conclusively that the gray mare had pro. 
 ved herself the better horse. 
 
CHAPTER IV. 
 
 SOUTHERN PREJUDICES AGAINST NORTHERN 
 INDUSTRY. ANECDOTE ILLUSTRATING ITS 
 EFFECTS. STORY OF FARMER APPLEGATE 
 
 AND HIS TWO SONS. 
 
 /V 
 
 It is no uncommon thing for a man to prejudice 
 his own interest merely for the sake of injuring 
 his neighbor ; or, in other words, to " bite off his 
 own nose," provided he cannot otherwise deprive 
 his neighbors of theirs. On this principle it is 
 that many of the Nullifiers refuse to make use of 
 articles of American manufacture, even though 
 they be of the same quality and cost less than 
 those which come from abroad ; and all this, be 
 cause those articles are fostered by a protecting 
 duty. 
 
 These gentry will neither clothe themselves in 
 the fine woollens, nor allow their negroes to be 
 clad in the coarse ones of America. Every thing 
 that is thought worthy of protection is an abomi 
 nation to them. They abhor the name of a cot 
 ton mill ; a smelting furnace puts them in a red 
 glow ; they cannot endure the sight of a field of 
 hemp ; and like the orator of Roanoke, they 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 39 
 
 would go a mile out of their way to kick a sheep. 
 In short, it is only necessary to give a thing pro 
 tection, and the protected thing at once becomes 
 odious in their sight. 
 
 Hitherto, if their accounts are to be credited, 
 they have been mnch in the habit of purchasing 
 wooden nutmegs, horn gun -flints, bass-wood pump 
 kin seeds, and sundry ingenious manufactures of 
 the North, which, were they once to be enume 
 rated in a tariff of duties, would forever lose 
 their reputation with these advocates of free trade 
 and abominators of whatever is so unfortunate as 
 to receive protection. 
 
 But with all their hatred of American manu 
 factures, they are often cheated into the use of 
 them ; and it all passes well enough as long as 
 they fancy them to be of outlandish origin ; but 
 let them once discover that they have unwittingly 
 benefitted their own countrymen, and their vex 
 ation knows no bounds. Among other stories of 
 Yankee tricks, they do not fail to relate many an 
 imposition practised upon them in palming off 
 American for British Manufactures. 
 
 As I was one evening in company with sundry 
 Nullifiers, one of them related the following : 
 
 " I am very particular," said he " never to use 
 an article of American manufacture on any con- 
 
40 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 sideration whatever. It costs me a great deal 
 more to be sure to obtain those of foreign pro 
 duction. But I am determined not to encourage 
 the advocates of protection ; and would sooner 
 go fifty miles and pay a hundred per cent more 
 than a thing is worth if it be only imported, than 
 have a similar article of American manufacture 
 brought to my very door and sold at a fair price. 
 
 " But in spite of all my care I sometimes get 
 confoundedly taken in. Why it was only last 
 week that I discovered a monstrous cheat that 
 had been put upon me. Falling into conversa 
 tion with a Yankee, I launched out as usual against 
 the Tariff, and swore that I would go bareheaded 
 and barebacked till the end of time, sooner than 
 I would wear a coat made of American cloth, or 
 a hat manufactured in an American shop. 
 
 " With that the fellow poked out his hand and 
 desired, if it was no offence, to examine the 
 quality of my coat. You may examine it as 
 much as you please, said I ; but you ll find it 
 none of your Yankee manufacture !" 
 
 " There s where you re mistaken, Mister, said 
 he, I helped make that cloth myself at the Pon- 
 toosuc Factory, in old Barkshire, Massachusetts." 
 i " The devil you did ! said I. Why I purchas 
 ed this cloth of a merchant who assured me pos- 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 41 
 
 itively that it was of British manufacture. But 
 what makes you think it is American cloth, and 
 
 especially that it was made at the Pon what 
 
 do you call it, factory ?" 
 
 " Why I know by the feel of it. Any fool may 
 know that." 
 
 " He then made a like request provided al 
 ways it was no offence to examine my hat. You 
 are devilish afraid of giving offence said I, at the 
 same time handing him my hat ; but at all events 
 you il not find that of American manufacture. It s 
 real London made. I paid ten dollars for it to 
 the importer. 
 
 " The more fool you then," said he ; "why, I 
 made that hat with my own hands, in the town 
 of Danbury, Connecticut ; and I can buy as 
 many as you can shake a stick at, for four dollars 
 a piece." 
 
 "Confound you for a lying Yankee !* said I, 
 beginning to get angry at the fellow s imperti 
 nence "do you pretend to be hatter and cloth 
 manufacturer too ? But here s sufficient evidence 
 inside of the hat, to, convict you of an untruth, 
 here s the name of the manufacturer, Bond- 
 Street, London." 
 
 "Ha! Ha! Ha?" said he, laughing in my 
 face " I printed that label in Hartford, Connec 
 ticut." 
 
42 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " You Yankee Scoundrel !" said I, " what 
 hav nt you done ?" 
 
 " I never did so foolish a thing," replied he, as 
 to pay twice as much for British manufactures as 
 I should have to give for American ones ; and 
 after all, find the goods had been made in the 
 workshops of our own country." 
 
 " This capped the climax of the fellow s [im 
 pertinence ; and I kicked him out doors for his 
 pains." 
 
 Several other anecdotes were related, tending 
 to illustrate the prevailing opposition of the South 
 to the encouragement of American industry ; 
 when ^a friend of mine from New England who 
 happened to be present, observed, that the South 
 Carolinians had not always been so bitterly op. 
 posed to the principle of protection ; but that on 
 the contrary, they had been among the first to 
 claim the fostering care of Government, in the 
 protection of their staple commodity. 
 
 "This reminds me," said he, "of a story, which 
 I have before related, and which I understand by 
 some means or other founctits way into the New 
 York Citizen. How it got there I will not pre 
 tend to say ; unless it was by some speculator in 
 Yankee notions, who chanced to hear me relate 
 it. But because my story has been unluckily 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 43 
 
 filched and peddled off, it is no reason why I 
 should not tell it to the present company ; and 
 especially to my friends, the Nullifiers, to whom 
 as it will probably be new, so I hope it will prove 
 highly satisfactory. It is called the story of 
 
 FARMER APPLEGATE AND HIS 
 TWO SONS. 
 
 Farmer Applegate, the owner of a considera 
 ble tract of land, had two sons, Jonathan and 
 William or, as they were usually called, Jock 
 and Bill. They were from their childhood of ve 
 ry different dispositions. Jock was staid and so 
 ber inclined to industry, and fond of laying up 
 his coppers. Bill was a harum scarum sort of a 
 lad, idle in his habits, peppery in his disposition, 
 and more fond of throwing away his coppers than 
 hoarding them up. While Jock was industrious 
 ly at work on the farm, Bill would be away pad 
 dling in some puddle for frogs, or shooting but 
 terflies through an air-gun. 
 
 These different habits and dispositions followed 
 them to the age of manhood, when their father 
 thought proper to settle them in life. He por 
 tioned Jock with a parcel of bleak, barren, stony, 
 and uneven land, but pretty well supplied with 
 running water. This soil, said he to himself, re* 
 
44 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 quires a world of hard labor, and produces little 
 when you have done. But that makes no differ 
 ence, for Jock will get a living, and lay up money 
 any where. As for Bill, said he, there s no use 
 in giving him any land that requires labor , for 
 he ll never work on it, though it were to keep 
 him from starving. Accordingly Farmer Apple- 
 gate set off to his son Bill a piece of low flat land, 
 a little to the south of Jock s which produced cat 
 tails in abundance, and that without the labor of 
 cultivation. 
 
 Cat-tails, in those days, were used as a sub 
 stitute for feathers, in the preparation of beds. 
 They brought fourpence a pound ; and as they 
 found a ready market and cash pay, Farmer Ap- 
 plegate thought that his son Bill, idle as he was 
 could hardly fail of making a tolerable livelihood 
 from the produce of an article, which required no 
 labor, but the gathering and carrying to market. 
 
 But here the old gentleman was mistaken. Bill 
 thought it quite too great a hardship to pick and 
 sell the cat-tails even tho they grewj spontane. 
 ously. He purchased therefore a parcel* of mon- 
 kies to do the principal drudgery for him par 
 ticularly the gathering and putting into .sacks. 
 These monkies, said he, will save me a world cf 
 labor. They can pick cat-tails just as well as I 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 45 
 
 and, for the matter of that, a great deal better, 
 for they are more nimble and active ; besides 
 this low swampy land will not injure their health 
 as it does mine. 
 
 The monkies were accordingly set to work* 
 They were sufficiently nimble and handy ; but 
 the difficulty was, to keep them at work, and to 
 make them do their work well. Like all the rest 
 of their race, they were a capricious, versatile, 
 and mischievous set. They would not work, un 
 less some one was constantly watching them 
 and when they did work, they made such waste 
 as was enough to ruin anybody throwing about 
 the cat-tails, and playing the mischief with their 
 master s property. 
 
 In order to keep these troublesome servants at 
 work without being obliged constantly to over 
 look them in person, Bill procured a stout ourang 
 outang, armed him with a whip, and made him 
 monkey-driver and overseer of the work. But 
 the ourang outajig turned out to be little better, or 
 more trustworthy, than the skipjacks under his 
 charge. Every thing went at sixes and sevens. 
 While Bill was away fishing and shooting, the 
 monkey driver and the monkies were playing the 
 devil with his property. 
 
 The consequence of his idle habits and his bad 
 
46 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 management was, that he got deeply in debt, was 
 harrassed with executions, and threatened with 
 bankruptcy. In this difficulty what does he do? 
 Instead of getting rid of his monkies, and attend- 
 ing to work himself, he petitions his father to 
 grant him a premium, of three farthings per 
 pound on his cat-tails alleging that he cannot 
 possibly get a living without this protection to his 
 industry. 
 
 " Industry!" exclaimed Farmer Applegate 
 " talk of your industry! Truly, if you do not 
 get a living, it will not be for want of impudence." 
 
 Though the Farmer expressed himself in this 
 wise ; nevertheless, being a good-natured man, 
 and having the welfare of his children at heart, 
 he granted the proposed premium of three far- 
 things per pound on all the cat-tails grown by his 
 son Bill. With this help Bill got along tolerably 
 well for a time ; but neither then did he improve 
 his habits, or pay his debts ; but on the contrary, 
 he became, if possible, more idle and careless 
 than ever. This protection, said he, is a fine 
 thing it will keep me in spending money if no 
 thing else. 
 
 In the mean time Jock was industrious and sa 
 ving. Though his land produced little, he con 
 trived, by turning his hand to a variety of things, 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 47 
 
 and manufacturing sundry " notions," as he call 
 ed them, to obtain a tolerable livelihood, and to 
 keep clear of debt, though he did not get rich. 
 Among other " notions," which he contrived to 
 manufacture, were wooden Jewsharps, which he 
 sold for three halfpence apiece. He went on ve 
 ry contentedly, nor asked any aid from the old 
 gentleman, until Bill had obtained the above men 
 tioned premium on his cat-tails ; when, Jock, just 
 ly concluding that he had an equal claim to pro- 
 tection, asked and obtained a premium of one far 
 thing on each of the Jewsharps manufactured at 
 his mill. 
 
 He now increased his business, enlarged his 
 mill, and with the aid of the farthing premium, 
 began to get forward in the world. Bill seeing 
 the prosperity of his brother Jock, flew into^ a 
 terible passion, declared the premium on Jews- 
 harps a monstrous imposition, and not to be en 
 dured. What ! said he, shall I pay one penny 
 three farthings for a wooden Jewsharp, when I 
 can get an iron one for sixpence ? To be sure, 
 the wooden article answers every purpose for 
 my monkies, whose leisure hours must be amus 
 ed with Jewsharps of some kind or other, to pre 
 vent them from being worse employed. But 
 that is neither here nor there it is the principle 
 that I contend against. 
 
48 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 Bill now posted forthwith to his father s, to re., 
 quest him to take off the premium on Jock s 
 Jewsharps alleging that it was too bad that Jock 
 should be growing rich by his vile wooden man 
 ufacture, while he was growing poor on the more 
 honorable business of raising cat-tails. Farmer 
 Applegate endeavoured to reason v/ith him on 
 the injustice of his demand, inasmuch as the 
 same principle had been followed in relation both 
 to him and his brother, and inasmuch as he him 
 self had been the first to ask that protection, 
 which he was now so ready to condemn. 
 
 But the more the Farmer attempted to reason, 
 the more Bill got in a passion; until at last, in 
 order to appease him, the old gentleman reduced 
 the premium on Jock s Jewsharps to one half far 
 thing each. This concession, however, so far 
 from satisfying Bill, seemed only to enrage him 
 the more. The principle ! said he ; it is the 
 principle I contend against ; and sooner than sub- 
 mit to it, I ll blow up Jock s mill sky-high, set fire 
 to the old man s Ffouse, and play the devil with 
 the whole concern. These threats he expressed 
 openly, but neither Jock nor the old gentleman 
 were to be moved. They had a wary eye upon 
 his movements, but kept perfectly cool. 
 
 This composure only the more enraged Bill ; 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 49 
 
 and arming his monkies one day with squirts and 
 pop-guns, he marched at the head of this uncouth 
 army to attack Jock in his mill. But Jock was 
 ready for him. He had closed the door of his 
 mill, and prepared a few buckets of hot water, 
 so arranged that by pulling a string he could up 
 set the whole of them upon his assailants. The 
 door being barricaded, the monkies were sent, as 
 he expected to scale the walls and enter the win- 
 dows. Jock waited composedly until the noisy 
 troop had nearly reached the lower casement, 
 when suddenly pulling the string, he discharged 
 the hot contents of the bucket upon their heads. 
 The consequence was that they abandoned the 
 attack in great confusion, they threw away their 
 arms, and ran screeching and screaming about 
 with their scalded polls, like so many mad crea 
 tures; and when General Bill endeavoured once 
 more to urge them to the attack, instead of obey 
 ing his orders, they with one accord fell upon 
 himself, tore off every rag of clothes he hap, 
 scratched and wounded him t>U the blood began 
 to run in streams down his naked body, and 
 would soon have made an end of him, had not 
 Jock, sallying from the mill, put them to flight, 
 and generously rescued his fraternal enemy. 
 
50 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 From that time Bill grew more rational. He 
 sent his monkies back to Africa, picked his own 
 cat-tails, and said no more about Jock s premium, 
 or the odious principle of protection. 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 NOVEL DISCOURSE, BY A DISTINGUISHED FUNC 
 TIONARY, ON CALCULATING THE VALUE OF 
 THE UNION. 
 
 In the course of my professional engagements, 
 
 being at C , and happening to be detained in 
 
 consequence of my client s cause standing below 
 sundry others on the docket, I one day strolled 
 to the lecture room of a distinguished, scientific, 
 and literary functionary of that place. His ven 
 erable age his strongly marked countenance 
 his short thick person his most philosophical 
 disregard of dress in short his whole manner 
 and person strongly attracted my attention. I 
 could have sworn, before I heard him speak, that 
 he had something original to say. I was not mis- 
 taken. His lecture was on The Value of the 
 Union. 
 
 Having adjusted his spectacles and placed his 
 notes before him, he began: "You may possi 
 bly think the subject of the present lecture a very 
 
 extraordinary one ; and, moreover, one which 
 it does not become the patriot to discuss. Your 
 prejudices, young gentlemen, are very natural ; 
 but they must be eradicated. Patriotism, to be 
 
52 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 sure, is very well in its place ; but it should nev* 
 er be allowed to run counter to the interests of 
 its votaries. 
 
 " The Union you have no doubt been taugh t 
 to consider as a sacred thing, the utility or value 
 of which was never to be called in question. 
 But this is an eroneous idea. The value of the 
 . Union may be calculated as well as the vaiue of 
 an onion, or any other given commodity. Why 
 not ; An onion is composed of several concen 
 tric rings, or circles, all uniting and forming one 
 entire whole, or perfect onion. The Union of 
 the States is formed in a manner somewhat ana- 
 lageous. There are States within States, and 
 States without States. Pennsylvania, Ohio, and 
 sundry others, are like the interior circles of the 
 onion ; while those of South Carolina, Virginia, 
 Massachusetts, and some others, resemble the ex 
 terior ones. 
 
 " Here, gentlemen, is a map of the United 
 States, and here also is an onion. The map I 
 borrowed, but the onion I imported from Europe, 
 and at a considerable expense, because 1 would 
 not encourage the growers of onions at Wea- 
 thersfield. Here I say is the map, and here is 
 the onion. Examine them for yourselves. Com 
 pare them together, and see how striking is the 
 resemblance. 
 
THE NULL1FIERS. 53 
 
 I might extend the parallell further, and say 
 that the Union, as well as the onion, brings tears 
 in our eyes. At least it does into mine. I feel 
 what I say at this very moment ; and if you will 
 examine into the subject, I think you will feel it 
 too. And yet so far as the onion is concerned^ 
 I assure you it is a very mild one, compared with 
 those which are grown in Connecticut. The on 
 ion I say draws tears, and so does the Union. 
 The onion makes us weep because it sends forth 
 an acrid effluvia, that powerfully effects the lach 
 rymals ; the Union makes us weep because it 
 because, ahem ! because in short, because it is 
 the Union. 
 
 " Having drawn this parallel, and shown that 
 the Union may with perfect propriety be calcula 
 ted, I now proceed to sho\y that it ought to be 
 calculated. 
 
 "The Union, as I have already hinted, is a 
 commodity ; and it is one with which we have 
 rnnch to do and I am afraid shall have for some 
 time to come. It is an expensive commodity ; 
 and as economy is a virtue, and retrenchment is 
 the order of the day, it behoves us, as prudent 
 men arid practical utilitarians, to see that the va 
 lue of every thing for which we expend our mo- 
 ney, is equal to its cost. If not, it is clearly a 
 
54 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 bad bargain; and the use of such commodity 
 should be abandoned An onion, if it be import 
 ed, like the specimen before us, may cost a shil 
 ling. Now if it be not worth more than nine 
 pence half penny, there is a clear loss on it of 
 two pence half penny. And so of the Union, or 
 any other commodity. It costs in common par- 
 lance, more than it comes too. 
 
 " Having thus shown you that the value of the 
 Union may and should be calculated, I now pro 
 ceed to point out the correct method of doing it. 
 The advantages of the Union are first to be set 
 down in figures, and directly under them the dis- 
 advantages. A line is then to be drawn be 
 neath, and the balance struck. If the advantages 
 more than balance the disadvantages, then il 
 follows that the Union is a profitable commodity ; 
 but if otherwise, then otherwise. 
 
 "Now what are the advantages of the Union? 
 For my part, I know of but one viz. defence 
 against foreign foes. Where States, like indi 
 viduals, are weak, it is doubtless a matter of po 
 licy anc 3 -~md discretion, to unite for mutual de 
 fence. This must be particularly the case with 
 such puny States as Rhode-Island, Massachu 
 setts, Connecticut, and sundry others that I could 
 name. But the great and powerful State of 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 55 
 
 South Carolina, has no need to lean on her sister 
 States for support. She can take care of her 
 self. She asks no favors, and why should she 
 grant any ? To be sure she was at one time in 
 a condition to be benefited by her sister States ; 
 but now, to use the saying of a certain honest 
 and discreet old lady, she has got a porridge-pot 
 of her own, and has no need to borrow or lend. 
 
 " The only advantage of the Union, as I said 
 before, is, protection against foreign enemies. 
 This, however, depends on a mere contingency ; 
 and it would be more proper to say, possible for" 
 eign enemies. The disadvantages on the other 
 hand, are too numerous to mention. In the first 
 place, we have to help to support the General Go 
 vernment ; in the second, we are taxed for the 
 encouragement of manufactures ; in the third we 
 are compelled to submit to the will of the majori 
 ty in Congress ; in the fourth, we are liable to be 
 hung for treason against the United States, un 
 der certain contingencies ; and so on, and so forth ! 
 
 " From all these circumstances, and from 
 your knowledge of arithmetic, young gentlemen, 
 you might very well make the proposed calcula 
 tion, without any further assistance on my part^ 
 Nevertheless, to enable you to economise time, 
 
56 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 and to attain the greatest possible accuracy, I 
 have constructed a set of tables, whereby the 
 value of the Union may be ascertained to the 
 thousandth part of a mill, in the short space of 
 one minute and three seconds. The precise 
 principles upon which these tables are construct - 
 ed, I need not explain te you at present. Suf 
 fice it to say, that you will find them adequate 
 to the great purpose for which they were invent 
 ed ; and that the value of the Union may be 
 calculated, to any possible degree of exactness, 
 in the shortest possible time. 
 
 " These tables have cost me much labor and 
 thought. They have not been constructed for 
 the mere gratification of idle curiosity. They 
 are intended for use ; and the sooner they are 
 used, the better. It is high time to calculate the 
 value of the Union." 
 
 Just as the learned functionary arrived at this 
 point, I was called away by my client, and so 
 lost the remainder of this very novel and interest 
 ing discourse. 
 
CHAPTER VI. 
 
 RESOLVE ON GETTING MARRIED CONSULT KY 
 FRIEND ON THE SUBJECT. 
 
 Though Major Harebrain Harrington, as 1 
 mentioned in the last chapter, carried the election 
 all hollow, it was not a little gratifying to me to 
 know that I might have been elected with great 
 ease, had I been on the other side of the quest- 
 ion being as I was assured by sundry support- 
 ers of my opponent, personally more popular 
 than he. Indeed, several of them told me that 
 it was a thousand pities I was not on the right 
 side in politics ; and it was wholly owing to the 
 staunch Nullification principles of Major Har 
 rington, that he was elected instead of me. 
 
 This was some consonsolation, but it did not 
 carry me to Congress. However, I had the sat- 
 isfaction of finding that, notwithstanding my an- 
 ti-nulification principles, my practice was daily 
 increasing, and that my income was now suffic 
 ient to support a family in a becoming manner. I 
 therefore began to think in earnest of consum 
 mating my union with my beloved Henrietta. 
 
 But before taking so important a step, I went to 
 3* 
 
58 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 consult my kind patron and unvarying friend Co* 
 lonel Peterson. His manners wore nearer those 
 of the Revolutionary standard, than are general- 
 ly to be found in modern days : open, frank, and 
 easy ; and what was of more consequence to me, 
 his mind was comparitively free from the pre 
 vailing prejudices of the South in regard to us 
 Yankees. 
 
 "Ay, " Ay," said he, as I named to him the 
 subject nearest my heart, " you are a lucky dog 
 Elmwood, to have stolen into the good graces of 
 the finest girl in South Carolina. It was not 
 for nothing that you gave her lessons in Latin. 
 But you Yankees are sly rogues ; and play the 
 devil with the hearts of our Southern women. 
 I ll be bound now, young man, you made your 
 comments on the Latin text more interesting than 
 the text itself. 
 
 " Why Colonel, I am not so vain," said I, " as 
 to ascribe any extraordinary influence to my 
 poor comments. On the contrary, Henrietta 
 seemed to me to be very well satisfied with the 
 text. But what think you, Colonel, shall I stand 
 any chance of success with her father ?" 
 
 The Colonel shook his head. 
 
 " I see," said I, " you consider my case to be 
 hopeless." 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 59 
 
 " Umph !" said he, " why, for that matter Mr. 
 Slmwood, no case is perhaps to be considered 
 entirely hopeless against Yankee enterprise and 
 perseverance. But there again is a misfortune, 
 the very name of Yankee is sufficient to ruin 
 your prospects with any father this side of Ma. 
 son and Dixon s line. And do you expeet to es 
 cape the difficulties that must attach to so hardy 
 an enterprise as that of a Yankee schoolmaster ? 
 carrying off the only daughter of a South Caroli 
 na planter ?" 
 
 " You must recollect I am a lawyer at present, 
 Colonel Peterson; besides I am now settled here, 
 and do not intend to carry off the girl." 
 
 " So much the worse," said the Colonel with 
 a roguish wink, "for if you had once fairly car 
 ried her off, you would be sure of her. But there 
 are plenty of reasons in the present case, why 
 you should not succeed in gaining the consent of 
 old Mr. Harrington. In the first place, you are 
 a Yankee, and he is a South Carolinian ; in the 
 second place, to say nothing of your having act 
 ed as tutor to his daughter, you do not drive a 
 carriage and four, or engage in a fox-hunt, or a 
 horse race ; in the third place, you are, like my. 
 ,elf, on the wrong side in politics. And then, if 
 
60 A YANKEE AMONG . 
 
 I mistake not, Mr. Harrington has another 
 match in view." 
 
 " Another match !" 
 
 " Certainly you do not expect to be without 
 a rival, do you ? What would you think of Ma 
 jor Harebrain Harrington ?" 
 
 " Think of him ! why I think he ought to be 
 content with having carried the election for Con- 
 gress, without aspiring likewise to carry off his 
 fair cousin. But one thing A I am certain of, she 
 does nt like him." 
 
 "jBut her father does which you know- 
 so far as you are concerned is all the same 
 thing." 
 
 " I am certain she will never consent to marry 
 Major Harrington." 
 
 " And if she should not how will you be the 
 gainer, as long as her father will not consent tc 
 her marrying you ?" 
 
 " There is something in that, Colonel ; but 
 then again there will be no little comfort in 
 knowing she will never marry my rival, even 
 though I should never gain her myself. Bu^ 
 this remains to be proved ; and I should do little 
 credit to the land of my birth and to the name oi 
 a Yankee, if I did not persevere, even to ths 
 
THE NULLIFIERS, 61 
 
 end, with such a tempting prize in view. ? 
 "Bravo! bravo! young man I like your 
 spirit. Faint heart never won, and never de 
 served to win, fair lady," 
 
CHAPTER VII. 
 
 BROACH THE SUBSECT TO THE LAEY S FATHER 
 
 AM FORBIDDEN THE HOUSE STORY OF A 
 
 YANKEE CLOCK. 
 
 Full of my matrimonial project, and knowing 
 of no sufficient reason why I should be refused, 
 I went next day to Mr. Harrington, and boldly, 
 but respectfully, asked him for the hand of his 
 daughter. Heavens and earth ! what a passion 
 he flew into ! He forgot, for the moment, the 
 gout with which he had been for sometime con 
 fined to his room ; he sprang upon his feet with 
 out the help of his crutches, and! verily believe 
 would have Nullified me on the spot, if violent 
 language or furious gestures could have accom 
 plished it. x Besides sundry other hard names ? 
 which I do not think it necessary to repeat, he 
 called me a poor, peddling, penniless pedagogue. 
 
 At the word peddling, I felt my ire beginning 
 to rise ; and had he not been the father of Hen 
 rietta, and had I not long ago resolved that pas 
 sion should never get the better of me, I know 
 not what might have been the consequence. As 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 63 
 
 it was, I replied, coolly, that I was rtot aware of 
 ever having been a pedlar ; that I could not at 
 present be called a pedagogue ; and that, howev 
 er poor I might once have been, so far from be 
 ing now penniless, my practice was amply suffic 
 ient, not only for my own support, but also for 
 the maintenance of a family. 
 
 In matters of dispute people are apt to be vio 
 lent in proportion to the weakness of their cause . 
 and Mr Harrington, being unable to oppose 
 aught to the truth of my statement, very natural 
 ly made up in violence what he wanted in argu 
 ment. If I had not peddled tin ware and wood 
 en pumpkin seeds, he declared I had done that 
 which was scarcely more honorable, inasmuch 
 as I had peddled Latin and Greek. At this sin 
 gular turn, I could not help smiling, as I remind 
 ed him of the remarkable readiness with which 
 Southern gentlemen purchased these commodi 
 ties of us Yankees. 
 
 " D n your commodities !" exclaimed he 
 
 u I wish they had stuck in your throat, and that 
 you and your whole tribe had been obliged to 
 feed on Greek and Latin till you were thinner 
 ^han so many heathen ghosts, before I had expos 
 ed my daughter to your wiles, 
 "Wiles!" 
 
64 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " Ay, wiles, sir. You Yankees are all a set 
 of cheats. " There now," pointing to a wooden 
 clock, " is a specimen of your rascally tricks. I 
 purchased that clock some time ago of a Con 
 necticut peddler. He called it a St. Killigrew s 
 clock, and told me I must wait till -that Saint s 
 day, which he assured me was just at hand, be- 
 fore I set it agoing, and then it would never stop. 
 I had had some experience of Yankee tricks, and 
 I therefore required him to warrant it, which he 
 readily engaged to do, and gave me a writing to 
 this effect that if the St. Killigrew s clock va 
 ried one minute in the course of six months, he 
 was to refund the forty dollars which I paid him. 
 In less than a year he came along again, and 
 asked me how the St. Killigrew s clock went. 
 
 "Went! said I, you cheating Yankee rascal. 
 it never went at all. He put on a very long face, 
 and said he guessed I had set it on the wrong day. 
 There again, said I, you Yankee scoundrel, you 
 deceived me with your St. Killigrew s day. I 
 looked in the Almanac, and there was no such 
 Saint to be found. I guess you must a looked in 
 the wrong Almanac, said he. It should a been 
 the real Andrew Beerses Almanac, by Andrew 
 Beers, Pliilom. I fully believe, said I, it s all a 
 Yankee trick, and I ll bet forty bales of cotton 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 65 
 
 to a wooden nutmeg that there is no such Saint 
 in the calendar. Then it s all his own fault, 
 said he, for he might a been there if he was a 
 mind to. So ! said 1, I ve caught you in your 
 rogue s tricks, have I ? You must refund the mo- 
 ney, and that very sudden too. Why, said he 
 coolly, has the clock varied any ? Varied ! ex- 
 claimed I why, you villain, it has never budg 
 ed an inch. Then, said he with a sort of villain- 
 ous smile for he never laughed like an honest 
 man if it has stood stock still all the time, it sar- 
 tinly could nt a varied any. You need nt think 
 to creep out there, said I ; if you don t refund the 
 forty dollars in five minutes time, I ll have you 
 taken up for a swindler. He refused, and accord 
 ingly, I had him arrested on a warrant. When 
 the day of trial came, he pled his own cause, and, 
 would you think it ? got off clear. Why, Sir, 
 these Yankees are the very devil on the tongue. 
 I m credibly informed there is nt one, from the 
 greatest to the least, but what can plead like a 
 lawyer, or, if necessary, preach like a priest. - 
 &nd I ve been told moreover that every man and. 
 boy, from Passamaquoddy to Long Island Sound> 
 could with the greatest ease navigate a ship the 
 world over." 
 
 " Upon my word, Mr, Harrington," said ! 
 
66 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " you pay a sufficiently high compliment to the 
 ingenuity and intelligence of the people of New 
 England." 
 
 Not a whit to high but mark me, sir, while 
 I acknowledge their acuteness and intelligence^ I 
 at the same time affirm that they are the most 
 consummate cheats that ever lived." 
 
 " It is not fair to take your estimate of the 
 whole population from the character of here 
 and there a pedlar by whom you may have been 
 deceived ; and I hope the time may come when 
 your opinion of Yankee honesty may be materi 
 ally modified, if not entirely changed." 
 
 " Mr. Elmwood, I make no exceptions, sir if 
 they do not cheat in one way, they do in another. 
 If they cannot rob us of our cash, they will steal 
 away the affections of our daughters." 
 
 " To this last charge, Mr. Harrington, I am 
 afraid not a few of the Yankees must plead guilty. 
 And yet methinks the chivalry of the young 
 gentlemen of the South should afford the young 
 ladies adequate protection." 
 
 u Protection /" exclaimed the old gentleman, 
 " I abominate the word. It is hateful to all 
 Southern ears. It has ruined the fair fields of 
 the South. Protection indeed ! No, sir, we 
 want no Tariff on our daughters." 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 67 
 
 " At least, sir," said I, " not such an one, I 
 should hope as would amount to a prohibition. 
 That would be such a Tarj|ff as not even Yan- 
 kees would agree to. But what finally became 
 of your Connecticut pedler ?" 
 
 " C e the fellow ! he sued me for false im- 
 
 prisonment, and got a verdict of a hundred dol. 
 lars damages, with costs. Upon this, I ordered 
 my niggers to bind him neck and heels, tote him 
 to the river, and throw him in headlong. Would 
 you believe it ? tied up as he was, he swam like 
 a duck, rolled himself up the bank and got away ; 
 but the next court I was brought up to answer 
 for the assault and battery, and cast in the sum 
 of two hundred dollars more. I was careful how 
 I meddled with the Yankee afterwards, and I 
 have not seen him since. This was the last of 
 my dealings with any of the race ; but my wife 
 has been once or twice bitten by them since. It 
 is not a month ago, that she purchased a beauti 
 ful tortoise shell ctimb of one of them ; and having 
 one day got caught in a shower, she found the 
 comb had all dissolved, and it took three weeks to 
 clear her hair of the sticky mass of glue, sugar, 
 and gum arabic, out of which it was composed." 
 
 I know not how long Mr. Harrington would 
 
68 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 have gone on with his stories of Yankee tricks, 
 had I not interrupted him by pressing my suit ; 
 when he again fell into a furious passion, renew- 
 ed his abuse of myself and all my countrymen, 
 and finally ended with forbidding me his house. 
 
CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 CONTTKIVE TO MEET THE YOUNG LADY AD 
 MIRE HER POLITICAL SENTIMENTS. AM AT 
 TACKED BY A RIVAL. 
 
 " Stolen interviews," says Solomon or, what 
 amounts to the same thing " stolen waters are 
 sweet ;" and I am not so heterodox as to dispute 
 what Solomon says. Indeed, I experienced the 
 truth of that comfortable doctrine, in my- own 
 case; for though forbidden the house by Mr. 
 Harrington, I found means very frequently to 
 see and enjoy the society of his daughter. Baf 
 fled as were our wishes for the present, we nei 
 ther of us thought that any thing was to be got 
 by despair ; and we resolved unanimously, that 
 the very worst method of gaining a cause, was, 
 to abandon it. 
 
 As for Henrietta, she won upon my admiration 
 daily. Especially I could not help admiring her 
 sentiments on the subject of the Union. We 
 had many a long talk on this interesting topic ; 
 and I need not say our sentiments were in per 
 fect accordance. No two politicians ever agreed 
 better. She was in favor of the Union, and so 
 
70 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 was I. She wondered, as I gently pressed her 
 hand, how any body could possibly be opposed 
 to the Union. She did not indeed know what 
 she might think on the subject, if she were a 
 man ; but for her part she did not believe there 
 were a dozen women in South Carolina but what 
 were in favor of the Union. She could not see 
 why the people of the South, should make such a 
 fuss about protection. She was sure, whatever the 
 gentlemen might think on the subject, every lady 
 was in favor of it. I pressed her to my heart, 
 and assured her she should never want for mine. 
 
 As we were one evening sitting on the banks 
 of the Santee, and engaged in these delightful 
 discussions, I heard a heavy step approaching, 
 and presently the souud of a man s voice, ex- 
 claiming 
 
 "Who dares advocate protection?" 
 
 " Oh dear !" exclaimed Henrietta, as she 
 sprang upon her feet at the sound " it is my 
 cousin Harebrain s voice, and he will murder 
 you ! He hates you because you run against him 
 for Congres, aud because you are a Union man 
 and because you and because I " 
 
 "Never mind him, Henrietta," said I. He 
 may hate me as much as he pleases 1 fear him 
 not." 
 
THE NULLIF1ERS. 71 
 
 " The devil you don t !" exclaimed he in a fu 
 rious voice, and standing plump before me, as I 
 finished the last sentence. Resign the lady in 
 stantly, or " 
 
 " She is under my protection, sir." 
 
 "D n your protection, and all other Tariffs. 
 
 The lady is my cousin, and besides " 
 
 " I care not, sir, if she were forty times your 
 :ousin ; and as for any other claim you may 
 have" 
 
 "He has no other claim," said Henrietta , 
 trembling and clinging to me " I hate him, and 
 Pve told him so a thousand times." 
 
 " All this exclaimed my furious rival, " is owing 
 to your cursed Yankee tricks. You have poisoned 
 the mind of my cousin. No woman whose affections 
 were not bejugled, would ever think for a mo- 
 rnent of listening too a poor devil of an adventur 
 er, who but a short time since came to this state 
 with a thread-bare coat, and without a penny in 
 his pocket first a pedler of Latin and Greek, 
 and now a pedler of law. Why I could purchase 
 a hundred thousand such." 
 
 " You may, said I cooly, for aught I know, 
 have as much money as a hundred thousand such ; 
 but you cannot purchase one." Saying this I 
 was about to depart, with Henrietta under my 
 
72 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 arm ; when he swore that, how much soever I 
 might be in favor of protection, the presence of 
 the lady should be none to me. As he said this, 
 he raised a cane, which he had in his hand, to 
 strike. 
 
 " It is my part," said I, " to yield protection 
 to the lady, and not to expect it from her." At 
 the same time, seizing hold of the cane, I wrest 
 ed it from his hand, and tossed it into the river. 
 I was also about throwing him after it. I could 
 have done so with great ease ; for notwithstand 
 ing he was three inches taller than myself, and 
 fifty pounds heavier, his frame was not so well 
 knit, and his idle and luxurious Southern habits 
 had not so well fitted him for the exercise of 
 strength as my more industrious and sober No^ 
 them ones. Indeed I was accounted no chicken, 
 even at home, in the way of a rough-and-tumble, 
 a back -hug, or a wrestle at arms length, where 
 in I carried the ring against all my fellow-stu 
 dents ; and at a dead lift I had few equals. Be 
 sides, my rival was a Nullifier, and therefore no 
 match for a Union man. 
 
 But to return to my story I had fairly toted 
 him, as they say here to the brink of the stream, 
 and one second more, would have heard him 
 plunging over head and ears in its dark tide ; for 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. *78 
 
 my passion for the moment had got the better 
 of my philosophy. But Henrietta saved me from 
 myself, and her cousin from a wet skin, if not 
 from a worse fate. She seized hold of my arm ; 
 she implored me to pause : her cousin was not 
 fit to die, and;if he wanted washing he might get 
 his blacks to do it; it was no business for a 
 white man. Angry as I had been a moment be 
 fore, I could not help laughing at this last argu 
 ment. 1 1 set my antagonist on his feet again, and 
 bade him, the next time he undertook to nullify 
 a white man, to take somebody besides a 
 Yankee. 
 
 He made the best of his way home, muttering 
 as he left us, that I should hear from him again, 
 and in a way wherein my bodily strength would 
 not avail me, as in the present instance. 
 
 " He will challenge you," said Henrietta. 
 
 " Let him challenge then," said I. 
 
 " And then he will kill you," said she, " for 
 he is a great shot, and has already fought five 
 duels fi and killed three men." 
 
 " Then," replied I, " I should have done him 
 no more than justice, had I drowned him, as I 
 was just now on the point of doing." 
 
 " True," said she, " but there is little honor 
 
74 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 in acting the part of an executioner, even though 
 the criminal does deserve his fate. But what 
 will you do in this case ? You are sure to be 
 challenged, and then 
 
 " Let me alone to answer it." 
 "But you will not expose your life to a prac 
 tised duelist ? 
 
 " Would you not have me fight him then?" 
 " Indeed I would not. I abhor the practice of 
 duelling, and no consideration should ever induce 
 me to marry a man who had been guilty of it. 
 But I know you are principled against it. And 
 then your life I am sure, that for my sake " 
 
 " My dear Henrietta, said I, " have no appre 
 hensions on my account, either as it regards my 
 life or my principles. We Yankees know how 
 to meet your Southern mad-caps, without haz 
 arding either the one or the other." 
 
 As I said this, we reached the foot of a short 
 ayenue leading to the house ; and as she positive 
 ly forbade my going a step farther, we made our 
 adieus and parted for the night. 
 
CHAPTER IX. 
 
 A CHALLENGE AN AFFAIR OF HONOR CON 
 CLUDED IN A NEW WAY. ^ 7^ 
 
 ^^.staiiJj 
 
 I retired to my lodgings, and ruminated upon 
 the events of the evening and their probable con- 
 sequences. He will challenge me, past all doubt ; 
 and I what must I do ? I revolved the subject 
 till I fell fast asleep, and knew nothing more un- 
 till, I was awakened in the morning by a step on 
 the stair, and presently I beheld the woolly poll 
 and sooty phiz ofmy man Tom, poking in at the 
 door. 
 
 " Well, Tom," said I, " is the sun up ?" 
 
 " Yes, Massa," replied the black, " he up long 
 time ago." 
 
 " Long time ago ! How long is that?" 
 
 " How long ? why, Massa Ellumwood, I should 
 say ebber sence he ris." 
 
 Tom was a round faced, smiling, faithful, good- 
 natured imp ; and moreover had a spice of wit ; 
 on which account, he had been indulged some 
 what more than is in all cases expedient with 
 people of his class and colour. 
 
 "That is very probable, you imp of darkness," 
 
T6 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 said I, replying to his last observation " but 
 how long may it be since he rose ?" 
 
 " Why, he got up fore me, Massa. I sePom 
 rise fore de sun, cause I tink it bad manners, j 
 do, Massa Ellumwood. But de sun, he way up 
 de sky now I open de shutter, den you see him 
 for yourself, Massa." 
 
 Accordingly he opened the shutters, and the 
 sun was indeed far up the sky. , 
 
 But what sent you into my room just now, 
 Tom?" said I. " Has any thing happened?" 
 
 " No happen, Massa, at all, only dere be gem- 
 man below wish to speak wid you." 
 
 " Why did nt you do your errand before, you 
 woolly imp ?" 
 
 " Cause I no see to do im Massa, fore de shut- 
 ter open." 
 
 "You re growing too impertinent, Tom. I 
 must part with you. I must send you to Louis 
 iana." 
 
 " Oh, Massa Ellumwood! do nt part wid me! 
 do nt send me to Lousyany, I beg on you ! I ll 
 nebber be pertinent gin long as I lib, so yo^ .< 
 keep me, Massa." 
 
 "Well, go down stairs," said I, "and. tell the 
 gentleman I ll be with him presently." 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 7? 
 
 " I threw on my clothes, and going below was 
 presented with a challenge. It was brought by 
 one Captain Flintock, nd ran thus: 
 " To Elnathan Elmwood, Esq. 
 
 SIR The insult you offered me last evening 
 must be washed out with the blood of one of us. 
 Either you or I must be nullified. The case ad 
 mits of no protection. The Union of soul and bo 
 dy, on one part or the other, must be dissolved. 
 The chivalry of the South demands it. There 
 fore meet me, at eight o clock to-morrow morn 
 ing, on the spot where the outrage was offered, 
 that the scene of your insolence may also be the 
 place of your punishment. 
 Yours &c. 
 
 HAREBRAIN HARRINGTON." 
 
 " Humph !" said I, as I finished this interest 
 ing epistle " is the fellow tired of life, that he 
 wishes for some person to do execution upon him 1 - 
 and if so, is there no butcher in the neighbor 
 hood, that he should send for me to perform that 
 disagreeable office?" 
 
 " Butcher !" exclaimed the Captain" do you 
 take my friend, Major Harrington, for some 
 brute, some four-legged animal, that is to be 
 knocked on the head, or have his throat cut, af- 
 
78 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 ter the vulgar manner of the beasts of the sham 
 bles?" 
 
 " Why, as to that, sir, " said T, " I have nev 
 er learned the business of a butcher ; and wheth 
 er it be a man or a calf that I am desired to kill, 
 I am afraid I should make very awkward work 
 of it." 
 
 " Is this your answer, sir ?" said the Captain 
 rising and taking his hat. 
 
 " Why, sir," I replied, motioning him again to 
 a seat, " I hardly know what other answer to re 
 turn. For my own part, I am not yet sufficient 
 ly tired of life, to throw it away ; and if I were, 
 it is no ways certain that I should select Major 
 Harebrain Harrington for my executioner. On 
 the other hand, however much Major Harring 
 ton may desire death, or however much he may 
 think he deserves it and on this head I own he 
 ought to be the best judge I see no reason why 
 he should choose me above all other men to be 
 his executioner. The Sheriff would answer bet 
 ter. Nevertheless I am always ready to do a 
 neighborly act, and especially where I can serve 
 the public while I yield to the private wishes of 
 my neighbor." 
 
 " You will meet Major Harrington then, at the 
 time and place mentioned, accompanied by your 
 second?" 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 79 
 
 "What need is there of a second? Cannot I 
 do the business alone ?" 
 
 " It is a matter of custom, sir. Every princi 
 pal must be accompanied by a second." 
 
 " Very well, sir, a second shall not be want- 
 ing, nor a third neither if requisite." 
 
 " A single one is sufficient You will be on 
 the ground then, armed and prepared for the 
 occasion ? 
 
 " Never doubt it. I should however prefer a 
 later hour. I can never tnink of transacting any 
 important business before breakfast ; besides who 
 knows but so disagreeable a job may spoil my ap 
 petite ?" 
 
 The hour of nine was finally agreed upon, and 
 Captain Flintock departed. I now ordered Tom 
 to procure a couple of axes and grind them 
 sharp. 
 
 " Wat you goin to do wid two axes, Massa f 
 said the .black, showing the whites of his eyes 
 as big as a couple of hen s eggs " sure Massa 
 Ellumwoodno goin choppin wid em?" 
 
 "Never mind, Tom. You get the axes, and 
 put them in prime order." 
 
 The negro did as he was commanded, and the 
 next morning, punctual to the hour, I proceeded 
 to the place of meeting, followed by Tom, with 
 
80 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 the two axes on one shoulder and a chopping- 
 block on the other. A great crowd of people 
 were already assembled, as is not unusual here, 
 to witness the duel, and see in what a genteel 
 manner a South Carolinian would nullify a Yan 
 kee. But when they saw my man Tom with the 
 two axes and the chopping-block, they began to 
 be above measure astonished ; and their wonder 
 was still more increased when they heard me 
 coolly order him to go back and bring a meat 
 barrel and a half bushel of salt. A sort of half 
 whispered inquiry ran throngh the crowd, as to 
 what I intended to do with so strange an ap- 
 parratus. 
 
 " He surely aint a going to salt up his antago 
 nist!" said one. 
 
 " He looks as savage as a meat-axe," said 
 another. 
 
 " I ll lay a tin whistle to a dish of hominy/ 7 , 
 said a Connecticut pedler, " that the Square beats /- 
 the Major yet." 
 
 " You be hanged with your tin whistles !" said 
 a Southerner ; " Major Harrington, I d have 
 you to know, is no baby, he is a whale on the 
 trigger." 
 
 " Ay, that he is," said another ; he s already 
 
THE NULLIF1ERS. 81 
 
 killed thirteen men in a duel, and crippled four- 
 teen others." 
 
 These observations, however, were pretty 
 soon hushed by the appearance of the redoubta 
 ble Major himself, followed by Captain Flintock, 
 as his second. 
 
 " I see you are on the ground, sir," said the 
 Major ; " but where are your arms, sir, and 
 your second ?" 
 
 "Here are my arms, Major," said I pointing 
 to the two axes ; and my second will be here pre 
 sently, having returned for a meat barrel and a 
 half bushel of salt." 
 
 "Meat barrel! salt] axes!" exclaimed my 
 enraged foe, in utter astonishment " what the 
 devil do you mean, sir?" 
 
 u Why, I mean," said I coolly, " that when 
 ^ou are fairly dispatched, you should be salted 
 down, like any other animal of your species, and 
 not left a prey to the turkey-buzzards. We 
 Yankees always study economy, and I thought I 
 might dispose of you by the barrel for enough to 
 pay the butcher s bill and other expenses." 
 
 " Sir do you mean to add fresh insult to your 
 former offence, sir ?" 
 
 " Fresh ! oh no, sir, by no means ; I see my 
 second is now here with the salt. 39 
 4* 
 
82 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 "Your second!" exclaimed Captain Flintock, 
 bristling up to me, furious as a game-cock. " Do 
 you mean to insult me too, by bringing^that black 
 devjl of yours as an offset to a white man ?" 
 
 "I beg your pardon, Captain," said I ; "a 
 man bas undoubtedly a right to choose his o.wn 
 second ; or, as we say at the northward, his own 
 help. Tom is an excellent handy fellow, though 
 he is black, and will chop up a carcass in the 
 least possible time. Now, gentlemen," contin 
 ued I, addressing the two military men, u which 
 of you will be salted first?" 
 
 D n your Yankee soul !" said the Major, I 
 came here to fight, and not to be made a laugh, 
 ing-stock of. Here are a couple of pistols ; will 
 you take your ground and fight like a gentleman 
 ought to?" 
 
 " 1 am on the ground, Major," asid I, " and 
 here are my weapons a couple of as sharp axes 
 as ever were put into flesh. As to pistols, Lord 
 help me ! I never fired one in my life ; but I was 
 accounted a very tolerable chopper when I was 
 a boy ; and if you do not choose to be cut up pas 
 sively, you are at liberty to take your choice of 
 these axes, and try your hand with me at a chop 
 ping bout. The one, that cuts up the other in the 
 most expeditious and gentlemanlike manner, shall 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 83 
 
 be allowed to have won the day. What say you 
 to this, Major ?" 
 
 " I say that you are an infamous scoundrel," 
 returned the Major, lashing himself into a fury 
 by the use of the most abusive epithets "you 
 hav nt the least particle of honour about you 
 you are a mean, contemptible, cowardly pol 
 troon." 
 
 " Cowardly !" said I ; " the imputation, sir, 
 might as well attach to the other side, for I^have 
 offered to engage you on fair terms, with a weap 
 on which I happen to know the use of, while 
 I am entirely ignorant of those same pistols on 
 which you so much value yourself. Neverthe 
 less, Major Harrington, I am not so particular as 
 to the kind of weapon I use, if it only be one 
 with which I am acquainted ; and therefore if it 
 please you better, I will despatch my second for 
 a couple of pitchforks, or scythes, or crowbars?" 
 
 " Again I repeat," exclaimed the Major, " that 
 you are a mean, contemptible, low-lifed, coward- 
 ly poltroon a fellow that I would annihilate 
 with as little remorse as I would a rattlesnake." 
 
 " Nullify him ! nullify him !" roared several 
 voices. 
 
 "Hands off! hands off!" exclaimed others 
 ^fair play s a jewel, the world over." 
 
84 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 "D n the Yankee!" roard the first does 
 he expect to chop up the chivalrous sons of the 
 South like a parcel of mincemeat? Blow him 
 through ! blow him through ? Shoot his Yankee 
 gizard out." 
 
 At this conjuncture my antagonist snatched 
 one of the pistols from the hand of his second,, 
 and was about levelling it at my head, when a 
 voice exclaimed " Take care, Mister, how you 
 handle that are shooting iron so possed careless,. 
 or may be you ll hit somebody." At the same 
 moment the arm of my foe was forcibly pulled 
 down, and the pistol went off, discharging its con- 
 tents into the leg of his second, the redoubtable 
 Captain Flintock. The report of the pistol seem- 
 to be the signal for a general engagement. The 
 people had collected to see a fight, and they de 
 termined there should be one, if they had it 
 among themselves. They fell too therefore, and 
 the Union party, though individually superior to 
 the Nullifiers, would nevertheless, from their in 
 feriority of numbers, have had the worst of it, had 
 they not been joined by sundry of the latter wha 
 were my personal friends and clients. 
 
 As it was the adherents of the Major, in spite 
 of what I could do to arrest the tumult, got pro-. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 86 
 
 digiously whipped ; and even the Major himself, 
 together with his friend the Captain, retired from 
 the field with black eyes and bloody noses. They 
 had come there resolved upon Nullifcation; but 
 not succeeding in that, they stood upon their Re* 
 served Rights, and finally resorted to Secession. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 NEW TROUBLES IN THE CAMP OP |)UPID AND 
 NEW CONTRIVANCES TO OBVIATE THEM. 
 
 From the time of my recounter with Major 
 Harrington, I was subjected to new difficulties in 
 relation to his fair cousin ; who was now so 
 strictly watched and guarded, that it required all 
 a Yankee s ingenuity to maintain that intercourse 
 which is so highly important in affairs of the 
 heart. This additional restraint I had no doubt 
 was owing to the kind offices of my enraged ri 
 val, who if he could not win the lady him 
 self, would naturally feel a malicious pleasure in 
 defeating me. 
 
 He had calculated upon the duebas an effectuaj 
 method of ridding himself of a more fortunate rival. 
 But he had reckoned, without his host. He had 
 miscalculated the effect of Southern logic upon a 
 Northern-man; and the result of our famous meet 
 ing, had only exasperated him anew, and render 
 ed him, if possible more hostile tham eve^ to my 
 views, and more bitterly opposed to my union 
 with his fair cousin. And since he could no t 
 persuade me to submit my person to the opera 
 tion of his pistol, in an honorable way, he endea. 
 
THE NULL1FIERS. 87 
 
 voured as far as he could to baffle my wishes in 
 a dishonorable one, by using his influence against 
 me with the father of the young lady. 
 
 What I could not effect, however, by personal 
 intercourse, I managed by paper and ink ; not 
 precisely in the way of legal documents tho I 
 had half a mind to issue a writ of habeas corpus 
 but rather in the way of business 1 mean 
 such business as 
 
 f * Speeds the soft intercourse from soul to soul." 
 
 I have by me sundry of the bills of exchange, 
 which were issued about those days, and negoti 
 ated by means of my man Tom, and Henrietta s 
 woman, Dinah Phillis. These bills were sure to 
 be honored at sight ; and never did any billet do 
 me so much pleasure as a billet-doux from my 
 adored mistress. Hers were certainly the fi. 
 nest specimens of this kind of paper I ever saw 
 at least I thought so at the time and I have lit 
 tle doubt that the reader would think so too, if he 
 could fairly get a sight of them. 
 
 What the correspondence contained I will not 
 say ; nor fcas the reader, as far as I can see, any 
 right to be inquisitive on the subject. If he was 
 ever in love, however, he make a shrewd guess 
 at the probable contents; and if not why then 
 
88 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 he would not understand them, even though he 
 should be allowed a peep beneath seals. 
 
 I am not certain but I proposed to Henrietta 
 to elope. Indeed I now recollect that was the 
 case, for I remember the manner in which she 
 answered the proposal. Having used up her last 
 sheet of paper, she inscribed the letter I on the 
 rind of a cantelope which she sent me signify 
 ing as I translated it, / cant elope. Let a woman 
 alone for contrivance in a case of emergency. 
 For my part, I might have rumaged among the 
 musty papers of my office for a month, without 
 ever thinking of such an expedient. I literally 
 devoured this epistle. 
 
 But the canZ-elope some how or other left a 
 bitter sensation when it was down. I resolved to 
 free the lady from durance vile. Sometimes I 
 thought of storming the castle; sometimes of un 
 dermining it ; then again of snapping the founda 
 tion. But my habits are essentially pacific ; and 
 I abandoned each of these projects in turn. I 
 consulted my chief counsellor Tom, on the sub 
 ject ; and we had actually devised a plan which 
 seemed to promise success. 
 
 But we might as well have spared our brains 
 all this labor of plotting, for it turned out that the 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 89 
 
 disability of my Henrietta s elopement was rath- 
 er of a moral than a physical nature ; depend- 
 ing on her sense of propriety, delicacy, and fil 
 ial duty. Hence I should have translated the 
 cant-elope to signify, I cant consent to elope. But 
 such is the imperfection of writing by hyero- 
 glyphics ! 
 
 Being thus non-suited in my project of carry 
 ing off the young lady, I had nothing to do but 
 to wait patiently until some favorable change 
 should take place in my prospects, either by a 
 removal of the prejudices of Mr. Harrington, or 
 by some unforseen arrangement of providence. 
 Not that I believed myself so much a favorite of 
 heaven, as that any special order should pass 
 the court above for my sole accommodation; but 
 it had often happened to me, that when oppress 
 ed by poverty and overborne by misfortunes, I 
 knew not which way to turn, a brighter day had 
 unexpectedly dawned upon me ; and from almost 
 the depths of despair, I had arisen anew to life 
 and to hope. The feeling derived from these 
 causes, might be one of superstition ; but never- 
 theless it was a consoling one, and I could not, 
 neither did I desire to, avoid cherishing it. 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 
 A MANUFACTURING ESTABLISHMENT AT THE 
 SOUTH ATTEMPTS TO NULLIFY IT GENER 
 ALSHIP OF TIMOTHY TREADWELL. 
 
 Among other means of softening, and finally 
 of removing the prejudices of the South in rela 
 tion to the encouragement of American industry, 
 I had more than once thought the creation of a 
 manufacturing interest in this region deserving 
 of particular consideration. And as there is no 
 want of mill seats in the higher parts of this and 
 the neighboring States, and as the raw material 
 of cotton is produced as it were on the spot, I 
 wondered exceedingly that enterprising individ 
 uals from the North, were not more ready to in 
 vest their capitol in this quarter. 
 
 I broached the subject to Colonel Peterson,, and 
 was happy to find his views accorded with mine. 
 Having a fine fall of water, on a small stream 
 that empties into the Santee, he proposed to me 
 to join him in erecting a cotton factory he to 
 furnish the capitol, and I to aid him in my Yan 
 kee knowledge and enterprise. To be sure, I 
 knew nothing of the business we were going 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 91 
 
 about ; but I had come from a manufacturing 
 district, and therefore must needs be a fit person 
 to direct the undertaking. But more than all 
 this, I believe the Colonel who had never ceased 
 to be my friend and patron from the time I firs* 
 set foot in South Carolina, secretly designed ra" 
 ther to promote my advantage than his own. 
 
 A Yankee is supposed to know at least a little 
 of every thing, and to be ready to turn his hand 
 to any business or project which holds out the 
 hope of acquiring wealth. From a farmer s boy 
 I had become a school-master ; from a school- 
 master, a lawyer; and it would not now be in 
 character to refuse to become a manufacturer. I 
 did not design however, to lay my law aside ; but 
 to go on pleading causes, while my looms went 
 on making cloth. 
 
 In a word I accepted the proposal of my friend 
 Peterson, and the cotton factory was built. By 
 my advice, a practical manufacturer, from the 
 Bay State, was engaged to superintend the con 
 cern. Timothy Treadwell was a shrewd Yan 
 kee, who understood every part and parcel of the 
 trade, not only of manufacturing cotton cloth, 
 but also of making the machinery, wherewith the 
 cloth was to be manufactured. As for the ope 
 ratives, they were mostly taken from the planta- 
 
92 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 tion of Colonel Peterson ; and though their ne 
 gro awkwardness at first spoiled many a pound 
 of good cotton, and marred in prospect many a 
 yard of excellent cloth, yet after a while they be 
 gan to improve in their operations, and the fac 
 tory as Mr. Treadwell said, worked like oil. 
 
 He had, however, one objection to the African 
 operatives, to wit : a certain inalienable odor, 
 which exhaled from their sooty skins, and to obvi 
 ate which, he insisted upon it, that the rooms 
 should be pufrified three times a day with some 
 powerful neutralising agent ; and he finally, af 
 ter many experiments, contrived, and obtained a 
 patent for, an invention, which was to cure the 
 native smell, and which he called the Anti-Afri 
 can-Odor-Gas-Generator to convey by means 
 of tin pipes, the purirfcing and sweetning agent, 
 through every part of the building. 
 
 Our operations excited a world of wonder 
 among our neighbors ; and various were the ob 
 servations and remarks. At first they laughed 
 at the Colonel and myself for a couple of noodles, 
 to think of introducing a manufacturing concern 
 into the chivalrous South. 
 
 "No, no !" said they, " our workshops should 
 be on the other side of the Atlantic. At all events, 
 if they must be suffered in this country, it should 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 93 
 
 be only on the other side of the Potomac. They 
 should never be allowed to offend the eyes of 
 Southern gentlemen." 
 
 There was for some time a good deal of spec 
 ulation, among our more ignorant neighbors, as 
 to what sort of goods we intended to manufac 
 ture. Some said it was to turn out wooden nut 
 megs ; others, bass-wood pumpkin seeds ; others, 
 tin side-saddles ; and others again, wooden clocks; 
 while a fifth class swore roundly that it was to 
 be a tariff manufactory. 
 
 Such were the observations while the factory 
 was erecting ; and the project was treated with 
 contempt, as one that mnst assuredly fail, and 
 not only expose its undertakers to great loss, but 
 to perpetual ridicule. The concern, however, 
 was no sooner in successful operation, than the 
 enraged nullifiers began to try what they could 
 do to impede its progress. Sundry attempts were 
 made to set it on fire ; others, to blow it up with 
 gunpowder ; and others, to stop its progress by 
 kidnapping the workman. But all these attempts 
 were baffled by the remarkable foresight and 
 vigilance of Timothy Treadwell, our able and 
 skilful superintendant. 
 
 The last attempt made on our concern, wa* 
 some time after my famous meeting with Major 
 
94 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 Harebrain Harrington, who finding I would not 
 consent to be honorably shot, took advantage of 
 ofthe prevailing prejudices of the people against 
 our factory, to attempt to nullify me through my 
 interest in that concern. This was an open at- 
 tack of some sixty men, club in hand, with the 
 redoubtable Major at their head. But here again, 
 our factotum, Mr. Tread well, was too many for 
 them. Colonel Peterson would fain have had the 
 mob dispersed with the use of a little cold lead. 
 
 " No," said Mr. Tread well " a little cold wa 
 ter will do better. The lead will like enough kill 
 the tarnal critters." 
 
 " But you don t expect," said the Colonel " to 
 disperse a mob of sixty men with a litlle cold 
 water !" 
 
 " But I do though, returned the superinten- 
 dant. " Only leave that to me. A soon as their 
 plaguy nullification blood is once cooled a little, 
 they will disperse as quiet as lambs. 
 
 Accordingly Mr. Treadwell, ordered a power 
 ful fire engine, which he had constructed with 
 his own hands for the use of the factory to be 
 manned ; arid directing the nozzle of the pipe 
 through a window, like a cannon at port hole, he 
 aimed directly at the Major s face, and struck 
 him with such force, that he fell flat on his back 
 at the first shot. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 94 
 
 He c.tied out that he was a dead man ; that he 
 felt the warm life blood running cold over his bo 
 som ; and desired that I would come to him, that 
 he might beg my forgivness, for having plotted * 
 against my life, my peace, and especially against L, 
 my union with Henrietta. 
 
 As soon as the leader was thus overthrown, 
 the pipe of the engine was directed against the fa 
 ces of his followers, who fell in like manner ; un 
 til fifteeen of them being laid flat on their backs 
 the rest threw down their clubs and ran as if Sa 
 tan were at their heels. Never was so great, 
 and at the same time, so bloodless, a victory gain 
 ed in so short a time. The Nullifiers, as fast as 
 they found themselves alive, arose and sneaked 
 away one by one ; and Mr. Timothy Treadwell, 
 in consideration of his eminent services, was dub 
 bed Captain on the spot. 
 
CHAPTER XII. 
 THE OLD WOMAN or THE STAGE COACH. 
 
 If, as somebody or other says, poverty makes 
 us acquainied with strange bed-fellows, so travel 
 ling in a stage coach oftentimes brings us ac 
 quainted with a most singular set of beings and 
 this, like poverty, whether we will or no. Sitting 
 cheek-by-jole,or face to face, we must perforce be 
 sociable ; and yet, like cats shaken together in a 
 bag, we can scarcely at times avoid a little clap 
 perclawing. We are packed together with bi 
 peds of all sorts, from politicians to parrots," from 
 " pretty Poll" to prating Peggy. There are 
 quadrupeds too, aad the lapdog is often the least 
 annoying puppy of the company. There are snuff- 
 takers and tobacco chewers ; there are coughers 
 and spitters Genius of Mrs. Trollope ! what a 
 medley. 
 
 And yet, making allowance for all (he evils of " 
 stage travelling, there is no little amusement and 
 even knowledge to be extracted from a situation 
 of this kind ; and a wise and prudent man, who I 
 take it also a good natured one, instead of Quar 
 relling with the evils, will make the best he can of 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 97 
 
 the palliating ingredients with which they may 
 chance to be mixed. 
 
 Had it not been for stage travelling, I proba 
 bly never should have had the honor of meeting 
 with the most remarkable character in the world, 
 Mrs. Trollope excepted. Like the latter, she 
 had the reputation of being a book-maker and a 
 tourist ; and, like her also, of dipping her pen in 
 to the very sediment of her ink, when writing of 
 those who were so very unfortunate as not to have 
 acquired her esteem. 
 
 Take her for all in all, I certainly never met 
 with her like before. To a very short person 
 and a face drawn up by age, she added a fierce 
 ness of spirit and a freedom of manners peculiar 
 to herself. Her countenance might not unaptly 
 be compared to a dried grape ; but she did not, 
 like that fruit seem to have been at all sweetened 
 by the drying process. The length of her tongue 
 was in the inverse ratio to that of her person ; 
 and if the latter was withered, the former gave 
 evidence of abundant moisture, judging from the 
 quantity of venom it spit. 
 
 Yet, ascertain tart and aci id substances are ca 
 pable of being improved by a saccharine mix 
 ture, so this sharp old lady might be materially 
 softened by the sugar of flattery ; and even the 
 
S8 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 coarsest would serve her turn the. sand, the 
 sawdust, and other impurities, being swallowed 
 with the rest. People who are fond of flattery, 
 are exceedingly apt to be imposed upon ; and 
 shrewd and sharp as was the LITTLE OLD WO 
 MAN OF THE STAGE COACH, she had more than 
 once, as I was informed, been sadly hoaxed. 
 
 She seemed to fancy herself a sort of Jupiter 
 in petticoats ; as holding in her hands the desti 
 nies of those whom she chose to honor with her 
 presence ; and as being endowed with power to 
 confer a blessing or a ban, according as they 
 treated her with regard, or otherwise. And this 
 fancy of hers, had been confirmed by certain 
 wags, who", for their own sport, had encouraged 
 the self deception of the little old lady. 
 
 This singular personage, I was told, like the 
 mysterious Peter Rugg, had been seen, for seve 
 ral years past, continually journey iug from one 
 part of the country to the other ; sometimes in 
 the east and sometimes in the west ; sometimes 
 in the north and sometimes in the south. She 
 had formed^ part of the burden of every stage 
 coach, and become the guest of every inn on 
 every principal road in the Union, She had vis- 
 ited every editor, scolded every landlord, abused 
 every priest, and flattered every person that flat- 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 99 
 
 tered her, from one end of the country to the 
 other. 
 
 Some supposed her to be the Wandering Jew, 
 disguised as a female and more especially as 
 she seemed to have a peculiar liking for the Is 
 raelites. Others believed her to be one of the 
 Weird Sisters, and averred that, upon occasion, 
 she had been seen coursing the air on a broom 
 stick, instead of riding in a stage coach parti 
 cularly when the roads were impassable. Others 
 said she was a Salamander, in proof of which, 
 they adduced the wonderful fieriness of her dis 
 position. Others, again thought her a personin. 
 cation of the Perpetual Motion. But whatever 
 she might be, all parties agreed in one thing, 
 that the sight of her, was more horrifying than 
 that of old Nicholas himself. 
 
 It was generally believed she could never die. 
 Some said she was immortal by nature ; others, 
 that she had got the " dry wilt," and therefore 
 would live forever. It was averred, that, from 
 the time she was first seen journeying to and fro, 
 she had never been perceived to grow older, to 
 lose any part of her activity, or to be softened 
 aught in the terrible vigor of her spirit. The 
 hard rubs she had met with, it was said, had af. 
 fected no change in her not so much as even to 
 
100 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 have rubbed off the sharp points and corners 
 which had been found so excessively annoying 
 to those with whom she had come in contact. 
 
 Horrifying as was the sight of the Little Old 
 Woman of the Stage Coach, she was neverthe 
 less an object of great curiosity in the towns and 
 villages through which she passed : for even if 
 Old Nicholas himself were to travel the coun 
 try in his most formidable sbape, people would 
 feel an irresistble curiosity to take a peep at his 
 brimstone majesty since such is the disposition 
 of mankind, that any out-of-the-way thing, 
 whether it be very pleasing or very revolting, at 
 tracts equal attention. 
 
 It was the extraordinary being whom I have 
 thus endeavoured to describe, that I happened 
 to have for a stage companion in one of my profes 
 sional journies. We were seated face to face ; nay, 
 we were obliged to mingle feet with feet, in the 
 usual manner in which the understandings of peo 
 ple are thrust together, in those villanously short 
 vehicles, yclept stage coaches. Face to face, 
 and feet to feet, with such a personage ! What 
 a situation ! I can, if needful, browbeat a witness, 
 face down a lawyer, and look a judge out of coun 
 tenance ; but to be placed hi the situation I was, 
 with the terrible Little Old Woman of the Stage 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 101 
 
 Coach, and the prospect of continuing in that 
 position for half a day together it required all 
 my Yankee philosophy and all rny lawyer-like 
 brass, even to think of it with any degree of com- 
 posure. 
 
 I was scarcely well seated, when she opened 
 upon me with a self-introduction. 
 
 " I am MRS. GOFURY," said she, " though for 
 that matter I need nt take the trouble to inform 
 you, for my celebrity is such that every body in 
 the universe knows me, or ought to know me, 
 without an introduction." 
 
 " Certainly, madam," said I, with a very low 
 bow, " every body is acquainted with the reputa 
 tion of the celebrated Mrs. Gofury the thunder 
 bolt of America, the severest castigator of the 
 age, and the most unscrupulous censor of men and 
 manners since the days of Horace and Juvenal ; 
 and certainly your person is too remarkable, to 
 be for a single moment mistaken for that of any 
 other personage whatever." 
 
 "Very well said, young man," she replied 
 with an air of satisfaction at the depth of plaister 
 I had laid on but the next moment contracting 
 her brows and compressing her lips, she added 
 in a sharp voice, "but if you was so perfectly 
 well aware in whose presence you sat, how did it 
 
102 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 happen, sir, that you took no more notice of me 
 than if I had been a vulgar, every-day woman ? 
 Answer me that, Mr. Trinculum or whatever 
 your name is?" 
 
 Here I found I had got myself on one horn of 
 a dielemma, by my ready admission of her un 
 concealed and unconcealable celebrity ; and yet 
 I must have fallen on the other horn, had I avow 
 ed any sort of ignorance or doubt as to the re 
 nowned personage before me. I endeavored to 
 extricSte myself as well as I could. 
 
 " True, madam," said I, " you speak most 
 sagely and judiciously. The only reason I did 
 not address you first, was, the unbounded respect 
 with which your name, your presence, and 
 your severe virtues impressed me." 
 
 "You re a modest young man," said she, 
 brightening into something like a smile, " and I 
 like you the better for it. You know what is 
 due to talents and renown. I perceive you are 
 a man of merit, and I ll take you under my spe 
 cial patronage. I ll make your name known 
 from end of the Union to the other, if you ll fa 
 vour me with it." Saying this, she took out her 
 tablets, which were covered over with shocking 
 black lines, and prepared to write. 
 
 Now might I have been rendered immortal on 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 103 
 
 the very easiest terms ; and I need not have writ- 
 ten this book to let the world know, that at such 
 a time and such a place, on the banks of the San- 
 tee, there lived and flourished such a person as 
 Elnathan Elmwood, Esquire. But modesty, 
 which has stood in the way of many a better 
 man, prevailed, and I, very respectfully, replied 
 " my name is of no consequence, madam." 
 
 " Well, name or no name," said she, " you are 
 the only real gentleman and sensible man I have 
 met with in a dog s age. You Yankees I know 
 you re a Yankee by the cut of your jib You 
 Yankees, when you are gentlemen, are first 
 rate." 
 
 I bowed thrice for this compliment, and the 
 Little Old Woman went on. 
 
 "As for the South," continued she, "almost 
 the only polite gentlemen are the turkey-buz 
 zards. They bow to me bobbingly as I pass, 
 and always treat me with civility which is more 
 than I can say of the other bipeds. Of all black 
 coats, give me a crow, or a turkey-buzzard. 
 
 From this, she took occasion to attack a gentle 
 man in black who sat in one corner of the car 
 riage calling him a rascally priest, with other 
 hard names. 
 
 " Y ou are mistaken, ma am," said the gentle- 
 
104 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 man in sables < I am Belzebub, your near re- 
 lation." 
 
 " Then to Belzebub with you," sjmalled the 
 old lady " I was sure you must be some brim 
 stone character or other. I wash my hands of 
 all such relationship." 
 
 Finding his joke thus thrown back upon him 
 self, the gentleman seemed to recollect that dis 
 cretion was the better part of valor, and to resolve 
 thereafter to continue silent 
 
 The next person, who ventured to measure 
 tongues with the Little Old Woman, was a medi 
 cal graduate. 
 
 " Madam," said he, " I am about publishing a 
 work on the LINGUAL LONGITUDINALS, and 
 should like to know the length of your tongue. 
 
 " Hoity-toity ?" exclaimed the old woman, 
 " so, you ve broken out in a new place have you, 
 Doctor Pillpenniwinkle. As torny tongue, you ll 
 find it long enough before you ve done with me ; 
 and for the length of your ears, that is too appa 
 rent to be a matter of doubt to any body. You 
 a son of xEscuiapius ! Iwould nt trust you to 
 physic my dog." 
 
 In this manner Mrs. Gofury silenced the guns 
 ofher adversaries, whilst a constant and thunder 
 ing report was kept up from her own. If she 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 105 
 
 could not vanquish by superior gunnery, she was 
 certain to do it by the greater frequency and 
 more determined perseverance of her shots. 
 
 It would be long, even if I could recollect it, to 
 relate the discourse of that memorable occasion ; 
 which after a few rapid shots pro and con, was 
 all on one side. In a word Mrs. Gofury had it 
 all to herself exemplifying in the most effectual 
 manner that words could do, the practical result 
 of Nullification. 
 
 We parted company at the first village Mrs. 
 Gofury, the gentleman in black, and the medical 
 graduate taking one road while the five other 
 passengers together with myself took another. 
 This was the last and only time I ever met with 
 the Little Old Woman of the Stage Coach ; 
 but since that time, I am credibly informed, she 
 has entirely dried up and evaporated, all except 
 her tongue. 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 A MEETING OF BLACK POLITICIANS CJSSAK 
 JOHNSON S SPEECH ON NULLIFICATION. 
 
 Mr. Harrington was still as bitterly opposed as 
 ever to my union with his daughter, and my ma 
 trimonial prospects remained in statu quo ; when 
 an event happened in the neighborhood, which 
 having apparently no connexion with my private 
 interests or personal concerns, was nevertheless 
 calculated to have a material effect on both. 
 
 Returning one evening from an unsuccessful 
 attempt to see my Henrietta, I heard a loud 
 shouting in one of the negro huts on the planta 
 tion of Mr. Harrington ; and catching, as I 
 thought, here and there a word on the great to 
 pic, which I knew absorbed nearly alt the 
 thoughts and feelings of the white population ; 
 and having a curiosity to know what these untu 
 tored blacks could find to say on the subject, I 
 drew near to listen. 
 
 I found there was a meeting of woolly politic 
 ians, and that the subject of discussion, excited no 
 iittle interest. " Fullah ! fullah !" shouted the 
 whole assembly, as a favorite o 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. , 7 107 
 
 This was no less a man than Csesar Johnson, a 
 tall, stout, middle aged negro, with a command- 
 ing presence and a dignity of mien, that seemed 
 to insure him the respect and attention of his fel 
 low slaves. 
 
 " You know berry well, gemmen," said he, 
 ^ dat all mankine bin born free and equal. Na- 
 tur teach you dat reasum teach you dat de 
 Conseltutium teach you dat. You feel it in eb- 
 ery fibre o your skin in ebery pore o your 
 flesh in ebery narve o your marrer in ebery 
 tought, and feeiin, and sensatium o your whole 
 mortal soul and body, from de tip eend o your 
 little finger to de ball o your great toe, and from 
 de crown o your foot to de sole o your head. 
 Now spose your head be cubber wid wool, and 
 your foot be flat on de bottom like a hoe-cake, 
 and your skin be brack as de ace o spades, 
 and your lip be tick as the corn-cob and 
 your shin be crooked as a rainbow I don t lude 
 to you, Cuffee, in tickular nor you, Sambo 
 nor you, Pompey but I say spose all dese mis- 
 fortums do tach to us gemmon o color, is any 
 reasum why we no born free and eqnal to any 
 odder man, whedder Jibing -or dead? 
 
 " Wait gemmen, till I get trough fore you 
 spress any compinium. Sambo, shet up your 
 feig mouf at two motiums, if you please. I nw 
 
108 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 like de plause clappin o hands, and de stompir? 
 o feet, wile a gemman is speaking. It break de 
 train o him s idees, and put him out o place, 
 so he forgit what he goin to say in de middle o ? 
 he speech. No pulogy, Sambo you keep your 
 mouf shet, dat all I ax o you. 
 
 "Now you know bery well, gemman, dat if all 
 mankine bin born free and equal, den it foller of 
 course dat all mankine should lib free and equal : 
 dat all should hab de same infeasible right to de 
 fruise of de earf to de corn to de bacon to de 
 hoe-cake to de seet tater to de water mellon 
 to de fine cloze and abub all de whiskey 
 and to ebery odder fruise of de earf, whedder he 
 grow spontanemously, or whedder he come by 
 cultivatium, or whedder, second and lastly, he be 
 manufacter out of a man s hand. All dis, gem- 
 men, I take to be soun argificaium,pendinon de 
 natur and reasum of tings, and no to be ober. 
 trow at all. 
 
 " Sush bein,de case, I would ax you, gem- 
 men but I don t speck you to answer me I say f 
 I would ax yoi, how it happen dat one man hab a 
 silver spoon in his mouf, anodder man a wooden 
 one, and anodder man hab no spoon at all ? And 
 again I would ax youdiow it happen dat one man, 
 cause he hab a wite skin, a tin lip, a trait shin? 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 109 
 
 and no wool on de head, should do noffin all day 
 but ride in he coach, wear fine cloze, and eat and 
 drink de bess of ebery ting, wile de poor African, 
 cause of his bodily misfortums, must work, work 
 all day, from mornin till night neber wear fine 
 cloze never eat good vittel hab only a peck 
 o corn a week and be flog inde bargain? gosh 
 amighty ! why should all dis be ? 
 
 " I see,gemmen, de big tear stan in your eye 
 I see him trittle down your cheek in large drops, 
 one follerin todder, and todder comin arter dat 
 I see your breass heave I see your lip quiber 
 I see you blush wid indignatium I see your 
 whole frame agitrate like de trong waves o de 
 salt sea. But I no wish to move you, gemman 
 I no wish to cite your trong feelins ; but I 
 would dress you in de cool langrage o soun rea- 
 sum, and solemn argificatium, and prove dat we 
 sons of Africa, bein born free and equal, cordin 
 to the natur of tings and de Conseltutium of dese 
 Unitum States, hab rights as well as any man in 
 dis breavin worl, whoeber he be. 
 
 " Now, gemmen, wat mus we do ? I ax phati- 
 cally wat mus we do ? Don t all speak at once. 
 Don t you open your mouf, Cato, till I m done ; 
 den you shall hab an opperchance to spress your 
 compinium and you too, Pompey. At present 
 you keep your mouf shet. 
 
110 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 "Once more I ax you, gemman, wat mus we 
 do in dis perdicklement? Mus we submit foreb- 
 er and a day ? Mus we dure dis state of tings ? 
 Mus we work like dog for oder men, and no en 
 joy de fruise of our own labor? 
 
 " I ax agin, gemmen, wat mus we do in dis 
 perdicklement 1 Wy, I will tell you wat we mus 
 do we mus Nullify ay, gemman, we mus Nul- 
 lifly. Wat make you show de wite o your eyes 
 in dat manner, Cuffy ? Wat make you stare so, 
 Sambo? Did you neber hear o ? Nulliflicatium 
 afore, Den it s full time you did. Did you neb- 
 er hear o Gubenor Hamlinton, and Curnil 
 Hayne, and Misser McDuffle, and Docker Croo- 
 per, and Misser Clouhne, and all de great men in 
 Souf Carolina? Sure you hab. Well now, gem- 
 men, all dese great men wat you tink o dem, 
 ha ? You tink dey all Nulliffiers ? Den, for once 
 in your life, you tink right. 
 
 " Now, gemmen, I spose you don t know de 
 meanin of de word. Well, I mus splain myself 
 den. A Nulliflier be a man wat does cisely as 
 he please, and no tanks to nobody. He neider 
 obey law nor consultutium. He neider pay tax, 
 nor sport Guberment, nor submit to any man, 
 whoeber he be.. In a single word, gemmen, de 
 Kulliflier is de mps independant man in de whole 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. Ill 
 
 worl. Wateber he don t like, he Nullifly. One 
 State, he Nullifly ^|e whole Unitum States ; one , 
 County, he Nullifly de whole State ; one leetle 
 Town, he Nullifly de Whole County ; one wite 
 gemmen, he Nullifly de whole town ; and one 
 brack gemman, he Nullifly look Sambo, and 
 see dat no wite man is listnin I tought I see a 
 wite face peakin trough de winner jes now. Is 
 nobody dere ? praps twas merely de ghose of my 
 maginatium. Be sure nobody dere? Well den 
 de brack man Nullifly de wite one. 
 
 "Yes, gemmen, we mus stan on our %arve 
 rights. Wat ! shall de sassy wite man Nullifly 
 the Guberment ? and shall not we, de color men, 
 Nullifly de wite one ? W T at has Guberment done 
 to Misser McDuffle, and Curnil Hyane, and Dock 
 er Crooper, and all de ress of de Nullifliers, com 
 pared wid wat dese same Nullifliers have done 
 to us? Has de Guberment take away deire li 
 berty ? Has de Guberment eat up all de bacon, 
 and de hominy, and de hoe-cake, and de seet ta- 
 ter, wat de Nullifliers make ? Has de Guber 
 ment strip em to de skin and flog em as dey 
 zarve, wid a cat o -nine-tails ? Neber. And yet, 
 gemmen, dey nullifly de Guberment. And wat* 
 I ax you, should hinner us from Nullifly in de 
 Nullifliers. 
 
112 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " But mark me, gemmen, I would ut vise you 
 to do any ting rash. Keep cool, and in dat way 
 we get de vantage ober de hot headed wite men, 
 whose brain all afire like a blazin tar barrel. 
 Yes, gemmen, I again devise you, do noffln rash, 
 but when de oberseer, he order you to go to work 
 in de mornin, merely fole up your hans and stan 
 on your zarve rights. Dis is a peaceable remery ; 
 and sure as you lib it will pose him. Den, spose 
 he offer to flog you, or raise a han to make you 
 work, take to your heel and run as if de dibble 
 was arter you, Dis, if I no mistake de word, gem" 
 men, de Nullifliers call de right of Fleesessium. 
 
 " Dus far, you perceive, de remery is altoged- 
 er a peaceable one. But de moment de oberseer, 
 or any odder white man, tempt to fesh yon back 
 agin, den de fault is deir own den de war begins 
 on deir side, and dey mus take de consequence." 
 
 "Now, gemmen," concluded Caesar, "I hab 
 finish my speech, and you may spress your com- 
 .*- pmi&m. Now is de time for you clap your hans 
 and stomp your feet, and cry fullah ! if you see 
 any ting in wat J said zarvin your plause and 
 ammiration." 
 
 This permission was no sooner granted, than 
 the walls rang again with admiring plaudits ; and 
 " Fuliah ! fullah J.fullah !" and " Tree times tree !" 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 113 
 
 resounded in a manner to shame any white caucus 
 I ever had the honor of attending. 
 
 A sharp contest now arose to see who should 
 next have the floor. One party bawled for Ca- 
 to Clump, and another insisted upon hearing 
 Pompey Crookshin. Which of these orators fi 
 nally succeeded in keeping the floor, I did not 
 stay long enough to ascertain, being fully satis 
 fied with the speech of Caesar, as a clear exposi 
 tion of the objects of the meetiug, as well as a 
 very lucid and irrefragable argument in favour 
 of Nullification. 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 UNFORTUNATE COMMENCEMENT OF A PEACE 
 ABLE REMEDY. ..RESORT TO SECESSION. 
 
 Had not Caesar Johnson declared in positive 
 terms, to his coloured associates, that his propo 
 sed remedy was perfectly a peacable one, I should 
 have felt it my duty to have apprised Mr. Har 
 rington and the neighboring planters of what I 
 had accidently overheard ; or at least, to have 
 put them on their guard against the machinations 
 of their slaves. But as it was expressly declar 
 ed by the mouthpiece of the meeting, that no vio 
 lence was intended, unless it should be provok 
 ed by a forcible opposition to the peacable reme 
 dy, I determined not to intefere between the 
 white and black Nullifiers ; but to let the merits 
 of the new doctrine be fairly brought to the test 
 of experience. 
 
 Leting blood is sometimes the only efficient 
 remedy for the ravings of a lunatic. But I con 
 fess I had no desire to see so sanguinary a cure 
 adopted for the prevailing madness of the South ; 
 and especially to see the instruments of phleboto- 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 115 
 
 my, in the hands of infuriated slaves. But the 
 first trial of the new doctrine by the blacks, I felt 
 assured would be rather ludicrous than bloody; 
 and as to its after consequenses, it was plain that 
 they might be foreseen in time to provide against 
 them. 
 
 That certain of the slaves, were plotting 
 against the interests of their masters, was pretty 
 evident. Indeed, so openly was the meeting 
 held, of which I accidently became a witness, 
 that nothing less than the all-absorbiug topic, 
 which seemed to swallow np the whole attention 
 of their masters, could have prevented its being 
 noticed by the whites. But so engaged were 
 they in preparing to nullify the laws of the Uni 
 ted-States, that they had no suspicion whatever 
 of the plot that was brewing among their slaves 
 to nullify them. 
 
 Not having witnessed the conclusion of the sa 
 ble meeting, I had no idea how soon its members 
 intended to make trial of their peacable remedy ; 
 and I was somewhat surprized on hearing the 
 next morning that the slaves of Mr. Harrington, 
 and those of sundry other planters had absolute 
 ly refused to work. 
 
 The first news 1 had of this was from my negro 
 
116 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 Tom, who came running into my office in breath- 
 jess haste and exclaiming, " Massa, massa, de 
 Nullifliers ! de Nullifliers !" 
 " The Nullifiers !" said I, " well what of them?" 
 
 " Why, massa, dey play de dibble and turn up 
 Jack." 
 
 " The deuce they do ?" said I. " and who are 
 the Nullifiers that you speak of?" 
 
 " Oh, eber so many color man. In de first 
 place, dere s Cxsar Johnson, and Cato Clump, 
 and Pompey Crookshin and Cuffee Brown, and 
 Sambo White, and eber so many more black nig 
 gers, dat won t do a single troke o work." 
 
 " What s the reason they won t work ?" said 
 I, feigning ignorance of the cause. 
 
 Why, massa," said Tom looking rather puz 
 zled and scratching his woolly head," I no zackly 
 understan em myself; but I blieve tis some 
 maggit dey got in deir heads about sarved rights, 
 andand, some oder crinkum crankums, and fly 
 blows, dat make em all crazy. I no understan 
 ? em, no how, massa. 
 
 " But where did you get all this news, Tom ?" 
 
 " I get em mostly from Dinah Phillis, massa." 
 
 " And where did Dinah get it ?" 
 
 "Why, massa she see de niggers would nt 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 117 
 
 work. Den dey git flog, and den Dinah she 
 come here to tell me all about it." 
 
 " Then they got floged, did they ?" 
 
 " Yes massa, de nigger-driver, he tie em up a 
 tree, and flog em all round." 
 
 " That must be a day s work, Tom." 
 
 " Yes, massa, bad day s work dat" 
 
 " A bad day s work ! how so ?" 
 
 " Cause it make em feel bad." 
 
 " Makes who feel bad ?" 
 
 "De niggers, massa." 
 
 " What would you have done with em then ?" 
 
 " Don t know, massa, Bad business bad busi 
 ness. First deir massas put de maggtt in deir 
 noodles bout Nullification ; den dey flogs em 
 cause de maggit bite." 
 
 There was certainly some colour of justice in 
 this rather sarcastic reflection of Tom s ; but 
 having no desire to encourage insubordination, I 
 told him to go about his business, and not to 
 make to free with the character of white gentle 
 men. 
 
 In the course of the day I visited some of the 
 plantations where the doctrines of Reserved 
 Rights and Nullification had begun to operate. 
 Cisar Johnson s peaceable remedy, brought little 
 
118 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 peace either to him or his coadjutors. The more 
 feeble-minded or less obstinate, indeed, yielded 
 to the argument of the lash, and returned to their 
 duty ; but the more resolute of purpose and the 
 more determined believers in Nullification, among 
 whom were the leaders of the party, and they 
 were only released when the hands of the opera 
 tor were weary of applying the lash. 
 
 Night brought a cessation to their troubles. 
 The first part of their favorite remedy had been 
 tried ; and to their sore grief, was found to op 
 erate more severely against themselves than 
 their masters. Fearful of, being utterly nulli 
 fied, if they should persevere in their former 
 mode of proceeding, they resolved forthwith to 
 Recede. A secret council was called ; and mea 
 sures taken for immediate action. Corn-cribs 
 and smoke-houses were broken open and robbed, 
 hen-roosts were plundered ; and such provisions 
 as they would hastily collect, were got together 
 for their march. They were also provided with 
 some rude weapons of defence. 
 
 Thus provisioned and equipped, Cxsar John 
 son, Cato Clump, Pompey Crookshin and their 
 coadjutors, consisting of about fifty males, and 
 about half as many females, abandoned their huts 
 
THE NULLIFIERS, 119 
 
 to make further trial of their peaceable remedy ; 
 and, before the morning light, had made such use 
 of their legs, as to render null and void all im 
 mediate pursuit. 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 FIRE AND SLAUGHTER, BLOOD AND RAPINE- 
 BATTLE OF THE CANE-BRAKE---A VlCTORY 
 IN MORE RESPECTS THAN ONE. 
 
 The next day after the secession of Caesar John- 
 son and his coadjutors, it was noised abjoad that 
 a great revolt had taken place among the slaves. 
 Rumor, with her hundred tongues, was busy; and, 
 as she is wont, did not fail to exaggerate prodi 
 giously. .Some accounts said, all the blacks in 
 the State had risen ; others, that the insurrection 
 was confined to a single district ; others, that the 
 number of insurgents was not above three thou 
 sand ; while others again were content to limit 
 them to one thousand. 
 
 But it was generally agreed that their acts 
 were awfully bloody and destructive ; that they 
 were carrying fire, and sword, and rapine, wher 
 ever they went ; that they plundered houses, and 
 then burnt them ; that they first slaughtered the 
 white people, and then like cannibals, ate them. 
 Caesar Johnson, it was averred, was seen to de 
 vour alive three little children for his break 
 fast. 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 121 
 
 Where all these atrocities were enacted, how 
 ever, nobody seemed fairly to understand. In 
 fact nobody could tell where the insurgents were. 
 But they were somewhere about, and that the 
 atrocities described were enacted, and still enact 
 ing, was fully believed. Some said they were 
 here, some there, and some in another place. In 
 short, a great many extravagant things were re 
 ported and believed respecting poor Csesar and 
 his handful of Nullifiers ; but very little was cer 
 tainly known concerning them. 
 
 That the negroes had arisen, and that some 
 means must be devised to put them down, seem 
 ed to be the only things agreed upon. But in re 
 lation to those means, people differed almost as 
 much as in their estimates of the nature and ex- 
 lent of the danger. Some thought the entire mi 
 litia of the State should be called out; others 
 deemed that twenty thousand men would be 
 abundantly sufficient for the emergency, provid 
 ed they were well officered and equipped; others 
 thought that ten thousand would do, and that a 
 couple of volunteer corps of five thousand each 
 one to be calvary and the other infantry, 
 would subdue the blacks in a very short time. 
 Others said, they would not depend on infantry 
 and calvary alone ; but should raise a corps oi 
 
122 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 artillery. There was again another party, who 
 professed to ridicule the fears of all the rest ; and 
 declared that the very idea of raising an army to 
 put down a few hundred niggers, was a disgrace 
 to the chivalry of the South. "One thousand good 
 mounted men, said they, will in a week s time, 
 cut to pieces every insurgent nigger in the whole 
 state. 
 
 From the nature and magnitude of the danger 
 and the necessary means of arresting it, observa 
 tions next began to be made on the probable 
 cause of the insurrection. One said it was ow 
 ing to the d d Yankees, who were always 
 
 meddling with the slave question ; and that they 
 had stirred up the blacks to cut their masters 
 throats. Another ascribed it to the Quakers, who 
 had no more sense than to be opposed to slavery 
 from principle ; and who were constantly using 
 their sneaking endeavors for the emancipation of 
 the whole human race. A third, laid it to the 
 Colonization Society, who, he said, were led on 
 by Henry Clay, John Quincy Adams, and Chief 
 Justice Marshall, to overthrow, break down, and j 
 pervert the entire order of things in the South. 
 A fourth, and of course a Nullifier, would have 
 it that the Union party were at the bottom of 
 all this mischief; and he adduced, what he con- 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 123 
 
 sidered an unanswerable argument, to prove his 
 position ; to wit, that it was only the slaves of 
 the Nnllifiers that had revolted, while all those 
 of the Union men kept quietly about their 
 business. 
 
 This last argument, which it seems had not oc 
 curred to every body, was considered to have 
 much weight, and the suspicions of the Nullifiers 
 began to settle very decidedly upon the Union 
 men. The fact, as stated by the last speaker, to 
 whatever cause it might be owing, was found on 
 examination to be verified. Why it should so 
 happen in every instance, is certainly a matter 
 somewhat difficult to comprehend. That the re- 
 volted blacks had caught the mania of Nullifica 
 tion from their masters, is perfectly evident ; but 
 why the contagion should not in some instances 
 have spread to the slaves of the Union party I 
 know not ; unless it were among the just decrees 
 of fate, that the bitter chalice should be especial 
 ly commended to the lips of those who had so 
 rashly prepared it. 
 
 But the Union men did not bear the accusation 
 of their opponents in silence. They retorted by 
 declaring the truth. They ascribed to the right 
 cause to wit, the Nullifiers themselves the in 
 surrection of their too apt scholars, the Nullify- 
 
 < 
 
1 24 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 ing slaves. They showed this to be no other 
 than a necessary consequencee of the new doc- 
 trine, and but a beginning of the many evils like 
 ly to arise from it. However, said they, to 
 prove to you the more fully that we had no agen^ 
 cy in exciting the revolt, we will freely aid you 
 in putting it down, and in saving you as far as 
 we are able, from the consequences of your own 
 folly and madness. 
 
 It was no time for disputes and recriminations, 
 and both parties set to work in earnest to sup- 
 press the revolt. But in order to put down the 
 blacks, it was necessary to ascertain where they 
 were. Having seceded in the dead of night, no- 
 body knew whether they had gone, or could 
 th. ow any light on the subject. 
 
 Diligent inquiry was now set on foot, not only 
 to ascertain their position, but likewise their 
 probable numbers. In regard to the first, suc 
 cess was not easily to be attained. A party of 
 men, after scouring the country for several miles 
 round, returned as wise as they went. Other 
 parties were sent out with the like success ; no- 
 thing could be sern or heard of the insurgents. 
 In regard to their numbers, however, it was pret 
 ty soon ascertained that the reports had been 
 prodigiously exaggerated. The Nullification 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 125 
 
 mania had as yet spread to the blacks of but a 
 few of the plantations, and of the slaves who had 
 been originally attacked, many had been cured, 
 as before mentioned, by the use of the lash. 
 
 The truth being ascertained by actual exami 
 nation, the fears of the people began very much 
 to subside. The raw heads and bloody bones, 
 which they had conjured up in their alarmed im 
 aginations, presently vanished away. It even 
 began to be seriously doubted whether a single 
 murder had been committed, or a single house 
 laid in ashes. Some of the planters indeed mis 
 sed their bacon, their corn, and their fowls. Some 
 agricultural implements had also disappeared, 
 such as axes, hoes, scythes, and the like. A few 
 guns were likewise missing; but neither powder, 
 ball, shot, nor any other ammunition seemed to 
 have gone with them. 
 
 That the blacks intended to fight, however, in 
 case of necessity, appeared altogether probable. 
 Poorly provided as they were with the munitions 
 of war, they would not be likely to yield without 
 a struggle. The very nature of the case seem- A, 
 ed to indicate that fighting must be the final re 
 sort. The guns also showed that such a result 
 was contemplated, though in the hurry and per 
 turbation of their escape, the negroes had forgot- 
 
126 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 ten the ammunition. The axes, the scythes, and 
 other implements, might likewise be used as wea 
 pons of defence. 
 
 Though the number, therefore, of the insur 
 gents was small, it was deemed absolutely neces 
 sary to employ arms against them, as soon as 
 the place of their retreat should be found.. Not 
 only were they to be subdued by force, but to be 
 made an example of for a warning to others to 
 be shot down, killed and cut to pieces, for the 
 benefit of their sable brethren at home. 
 
 Such was the sanguinary advice of certain of 
 L the Nullifiers, who thought the chivalry of the 
 South could not be maintained without the de 
 struction of these mis-guided blacks. Others 
 still more cold and cruel, though they should 
 be captured alive, and afterwards put to death 
 with tortures. But, on the whole, more gentle 
 counsels prevailed, and certainly more prudent 
 ones for a dead negro is of no value to the plan 
 ter, while a live one will fetch from three to five 
 hundred, and sometimes a thousand dollars. 
 
 But it was perfectly idle to debate on the ways 
 and means of subduing and disposing of the 
 slaves before it was known where they were to 
 be found. Several days of unavailing search 
 had been kept up, and no signs of them appear- 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 137 
 
 ed. Smoke houses, corn-cribs, and hen-roosts 
 were nightly plundered ; but whither the booty 
 went, no one could tell. At last however their 
 retreat was discovered, by mere accident, in the 
 depth of a cane-brake. 
 
 It was now resolved forthwith to rout or to 
 capture them. A considerable body of mounted 
 men were soon organized for this purpose. The 
 larger part of these were Nullifiers, and armed 
 with sword and pistol. Several of the Union 
 men, among whom were Colonel Peterson, Cap 
 tain Treadwell, and myself, were disinclined to 
 the use of deadly weapons, as being quite un 
 necessary for the recovery of a few miserable 
 runaway blacks. We hoped the power of per 
 suasion rwould be sufficient; and merely took 
 each a tough cudgel, to be used in case of abso 
 lute necessity. 
 
 C^sar Johnson had chosen his retreat with no 
 little judgment for, after leaving our horses at 
 the entrance of the cane-brake, we found the 
 passage so difficult, on account of the thick and 
 powerful growth of tall reeds, that it took us no 
 little time to reach the camp of our sable antago 
 nists. Some of our party were for setting fire 
 to the brake, and thus Nullifying the miserable 
 wretches by burning them in their encampment. 
 
128 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 Captain Tfeadwell, on the other hand, thought 
 that water would be the more judicious instru 
 ment for subduing them ; in support of which, 
 he cited the case of the attack on the factory, 
 much to the annoyance of the Nullifiers, some 
 of whom had been engaged iu that famous as 
 sault; and he ended by regretting exceedingly 
 that he had not brought along the fire engine. 
 
 As soon as we arrived at the spot, being a 
 cleared space of some little extent, the blacks 
 were ordered to surrender. 
 
 " Neber !" said Cjesar Johnson, grasping an 
 empty gun-barrel, and placing himself in the van 
 of his coadjutors " neber will we render, so 
 long as de breaf remain in dese mortal bodies. 
 We hab put ourselves on our zarved rights ; we 
 hab extorted to fleecessium ; we hab till dis mo 
 ment use only de peaceeble r emery ; and now, 
 gemmen, if you temp to carry us way by forci 
 ble arm, contrary to de Conseltutium, by de holy 
 hoe-cake we will fend ourselves to de last drop of 
 btyood wat flow in our veins. 
 
 This speech was responded to by a general 
 "Fullah!" from the throats of all the J)lacks ? 
 who, seizing their weapons, stood uponth^fdefen-t? 
 sive. The Nullifiers were now afcout commenc- 
 ing the attack with pistol in hand 1 , when Colonel 
 
THE NULLIFIERS, 129 
 
 Peterson stepped forward, and in a mild tone of 
 persuasion, endeavored to convince the deluded 
 slaves of the fatal madness of their undertaking ; 
 and to urge their return to the employment and 
 protection of their masters. 
 
 " Pertectium!^ exclaimed Caesar, flourishing 
 his weapon, " I bomblenate de word ; and by 
 gosh ! I" nullify any man, wedder black or wite 
 wat mention de ting." 
 
 With that he whirled his gun-barrel thrice 
 around his head, and was on the very point of 
 nullifying the Colonel, when Captain Treadwelj 
 dexterously drew his long cudgel across Cesar s 
 shins, and laid him prostrate on the ground. 
 
 The battle now commeijiced in good earnest, w 
 Black against white, and white against black \ 
 nullifiers on this side and nullifiers on that. Here 
 swords and pistols, powder and ball ; there, 
 scythes and hoes, axes and empty guns. 
 
 Pop ! went the pistols ; whiz ! went the bul 
 lets ; cut ! went the swords ; slambang ; went 
 the gunbarrels ; slash ! went the axes, thump ! 
 went the hoes. In short, fire and fury, madness 
 and rage, despair and vengeance, blood and 
 wounds, bruises and contusions, jargon and con 
 fusion, mingled pell-mell and ruled the hour. 
 
 A bullet from the pistol of Captain Firebrand 
 6* 
 
130 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 sped like lightning, and carried off one half the 
 right ear of Cato Clump ; nor did it stop here 
 but passing onward, grazed the cheek of Cuffee 
 Brown, and finally lodged in the thick wool of 
 Majory Misletoe. But Cato Clump did not pa 
 tiently, nor unrevenged, endure the dismember 
 ment of his ear ; for swinging his hoe-handle, 
 both three and four times around his head to ga 
 ther vengeance for the onset, he thus addressed 
 Captain [Firebrand "Now take de venge of a 
 color man ! If dis blow no nullify you, I neber 
 try agin" and letting drive at the Captain s 
 head, he brought flat to the earth Peter Grimshaw, 
 the Captain s right hand man, who had no more 
 sense than to stand straight up, while the Cap 
 tain, by judiciously bobbing his head avoided the 
 blow. 
 
 " Dere you lie, Misser Cap n !" shouted Cato 
 exultingly when looking once more to see that 
 he was fairly done for, he exclaimed, " By gosh, 
 I kill de wrong man !" 
 
 A few steps off, Toby Thicklip, with a trucu 
 lent scythe, aimed a sweep at the trap sticks of 
 Sergeant Slim, at the same time exclaiming with 
 a horrid grin, " Dat take of your understanin, 
 by goles !" He let drive, and came within an ace 
 of cutting Robert Short in two in the middle : for 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 131 
 
 at the particular moment, when the sharp instru 
 ment swept where erst were the legs of Sergeant 
 Slim, the prudent Sergeant dexterously bounded 
 from the ground and escaped the shortening 
 stroke, 
 
 u That was nimbly done, by Jove !" exclaim- 
 ed Corporal Flunk ; and throwing his pistol at 
 the head of Toby, as he saw him approaching 
 with his scythe, he took to his heels, resolving 
 never to look back till he should be securly en- 
 sconced in the thickest part of the cane-brake. 
 
 His pistol in the mean time enacted wonders 
 for entering the huge mouth 01 Toby, it passed 
 directly down his throat ; where it no sooner 
 lodged, than it went off; and the muzzle happen 
 ing to point forwards, the ball arrestid the fligh* 
 of Corporal Flunk, who in his speed leaning for 
 ward at an angle of forty five degrees,. received 
 the envious lead just beneath his shoulder blade. 
 Thus adding another proof to the thousands 
 which had been given before, that a soldier sel 
 dom, gains any thing by running away in battle. 
 
 The bold and chivalrous Lieutenant Flimflam, 
 .standing at a safe distance from his sooty foes, 
 with sword in hand cut right and left ; and, in the 
 rage of his valour, did or was prepared to do, 
 -most astonishing feats. Brandishing his weapon 
 
132 -A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 he manfully called on his sooty foes, and dared 
 them if they had the least spark of courage, or 
 any desire whatever to be cut to pieces, lo come 
 on, and place themselves within reach of his 
 sword. 
 
 " Come on! come on ! you dastardly niggers. 
 Come on, you rebels. Come on, you cowardly 
 slaves. I ll cut you up in fine style. Til learn 
 you to secede from yogir masters. I ll leave nei 
 ther hide hair, nor any part of you* Only come 
 here, that s all I ask of you." 
 
 As he said this, and still kept brandishing his 
 sword right and left, he accidently sliced off three 
 good inches from the heel of Rosa Flatfobt, who 
 happened just at that r instant, in flouncing and 
 bouncing and cutting high capers in derision of 
 his prowess, to bring her too exuberant heels 
 within reach of his puissant weapon. 
 
 While these feats were enacting, the war rag 
 ed with prodigious vigor in other quarters; and 
 Sambo White and Pompey Crookshin performed 
 deeds of valor worthy of the reserved rights for 
 which they were contending. Sambo White rais 
 ed aloft an enormous axe, already blushing with 
 anticipated gore, and discharged it full into the 
 head of Mr. Portius Puff, exclaiming at the same 
 time, "Dat brain you, any how !" But Sambo 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 133 
 
 was mistaken. A puff of wind came out, like 
 imprisoned Igas from a bottle of beer, and lo ! 
 the sconce was empty. 
 
 As he fell, Pompey Crookshin snatched the 
 pistol from his quivering fingers, and turned it full 
 against the face of Simon Flash. And now had 
 been Simon s last hour but, fortunately, Mr. 
 Portius Puff had forgotten to insert the ball. 
 Nevertheless the luxuriant whiskers on which 
 Mr. Flash valued himself above all other proper 
 ties, caught fire from the pistol ; and being filled 
 with sundry oleaginous substances, whereby 
 their growth had been promoted, the devouring 
 flame sped rapidly, and the whole crop was laid 
 in ashes before the conflagration could be ar 
 rested. 
 
 While Pompey Crookshin stood wondering at 
 the combustion he had caused, a bullet, from in 
 unknown hand, struck him in the middle of the 
 forehead ; and finding his skull made of impene 
 trable stuff, bounded back, and taking an oppo. 
 site Nullifier just between the lips, carriedjiway 
 two of his teeth, and descended with them down 
 his throat. 
 
 But Cuffee Brown was less fortunate than 
 Pompey Crookshin : for as he was brandishing 
 his hoe-handle, and laying about him with un* 
 
134 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 spairing hand, a ball which had glanced from an- 
 other of the hard heads of his coadjutors, took 
 him sideways on the tmder lip, and carried off a 
 half a pound of that luxuriant organ. 
 
 The battle still continued thick and warm. 
 Feats of wonderful prowess were enacted on both 
 sides. Among those who distinguished them 
 selves on the part of the whites, was Mr. Har 
 rington. But now, owing to his age and over 
 exertion, his strength was beginning to flag. Op 
 posed to him was a negro of prodigious strength, 
 who having struck down his opponent s weapon 
 and deprived him of his chapeau at the same 
 stroke, was about letting fall a blow, which 
 would inevitably have finished him ; when at 
 that critical moment, I sprang between him and 
 danger. 
 
 "Wat! you here, Massa Ellumwood?" ex- 
 clkimed the black, dropping his weapon. " Me 
 no can hurt you, massa, me die first, you good to 
 brack man, Massa Ellumwood." 
 
 Saying this he retired to another part of the 
 field. He was one of Mr. Harrington s slaves, 
 and the deference he paid to me was owing to 
 some trifling favours on my part, whereby I had 
 won his affection and regard. 
 
 Mr. Harrington was no sooner relieved from 
 
r THE NULLIFIERS. 135 
 
 his imminent peril, than grasping my hand with 
 the utmost warmth, he declared he was indebted 
 to me for his life ; he entreated my pardon for 
 his past opposition ; and swore if he had twenty 
 daughters, I should now marry them all. 
 
 I thanked him for his great liberality ; but as 
 sured him I should be perfectly satisfied with the 
 one he had. 
 
 " No, that you shan ^t," he exclaimed, "for I 
 will settle upon you immediately one half my 
 estate ; and more than that, I will renounce Nul, 
 lification henceforth and forever." 
 
 The battle still continued to rage with very 
 little abatement ; and the white Nullifies, whp 
 had expended nearly all their ammunition, to very 
 little purpose, were beginning to get the worst 
 of it ; when the Union men, adopting the exam- 
 pie of Captain Treadwell, directed their efforts 
 to the most vulnerable part of the persons of their 
 sooty antagonists ; and by a few well aimed 
 blows at their shins, soon laid the leaders pros- 
 trate on the ground, when the rest threw down 
 their arms, and surrendered themselves prison- 
 ers of war those who had been disabled, or de 
 spoiled of their courage by the shinning mode 
 being taken prisoners of course. Among these 
 
136 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 as the reader will recollect, was the heroic chief 
 and incomparable orator, C^sar Johnson. 
 
 As this is the only battle worthy of note, since 
 the famous one of Waterloo, it may be not amiss 
 to subjoin a list of the killed, wounded and 
 
 risoners. 
 P 
 
 WHITE NULLIFIERS. 
 
 Killed, - - - "-",_- 
 
 Wounded : By Splitting the Head fe - - 1 
 Knocking out the Teeth - 3 
 Burning off the Whiskers - - 1 
 Cracking the Sconce - - 4 
 A Bullet under the Scapula - 1 
 Touching the Sense of Chivalry 6 
 -.4 Posteriori - - 11 
 
 Total, 21 
 
 Taken Prisoners 
 
 BLAGK NULLIFIERS. 
 
 Kitted Pi - 
 
 Wounded ; By Dismembering the Under Lip 1 
 Dittto the Right Ear - - 1 
 Grazing the Cheek 1 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 137 
 
 A Bullet in the Wool . i 
 Slicing off the Heel - . 1 
 A Pistol down the Throat - 1 
 Touching the Sense of Feeling 9 
 Whacking the Shins - . 10 
 
 Total, 25 
 
 Taken Prisoners The Whole Squad. 
 
CHAPTER XVI. 
 CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER. 
 
 All obstacles being now removed, and no 
 cause for delay remaining, my union with Hen 
 rietta was immediately consummated. To de 
 scribe domestic bliss, so as to convey an ade 
 quate idea to the mind of the reader, is no feasi- 
 able undertaking. In order to be understood, it 
 must be seen nay felt and therefore I despair 
 of enlightning those, who are unacquainted with 
 the matter in general, on the subject of my own 
 particular felicity. If, however, they will take 
 the trouble to call on me at Elmwood Retreat 
 for such is the name given by my wife to a noble 
 plantation presented us by her father they shall 
 have such demonstration of my present comforts, 
 as an ample fortune, an open house, a happy 
 master, and a hospitable mistress can furnish. 
 
 Some philosophers will have it that Jove is a 
 disease ; in proof of which they aver that it is in 
 variably put an end to, or cured, by marriage. 
 Without admitting either the alleged fact or the 
 argument built upon it, and it may be sufficient 
 
A YANKEE AMONG 139 
 
 to say, that love seems often-times to be contagi 
 ous ; and, if it be not a dw-ease, is marvellously 
 apt to produce tm-easy effects. These effects are 
 by no means confined to class or color, as I had 
 occasion to notice in relation to my negro Tom ; 
 who, the very next day after I was married 
 came to me with a very dolorous countenance, 
 rolling up his eyes like a duck in a thunder 
 storm, laying his hand significantly on his stom 
 ach, and sighing like a pair of blacksmith s bel 
 lows. 
 
 " Well, Tom, what s the matter ?" said I. 
 
 " I don t know, Massa," said he " I neber 
 feel so afore, and don t zactly feel so now. It 
 tink it must be lub, Massa." 
 
 " Love ! you snow-ball what can you be in 
 love with? a flitch of bacon, or a red-coat?" 
 
 "No, massa wid Dinah Phillis. Neberde- 
 less, massa, I like de bacon and de red coat 
 too?" 
 
 " Well, what have I to do with your love af 
 fairs ?" 
 
 " Wy, massa, it all de fashion to git marry 
 now. Misser Highman, he light de pine knot 
 yesserday, and I tought I might as well marry 
 afore he go out massa." 
 
140 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 " So, yuo re growing sentimental, Tom. It s 
 Mill time you were married." 
 
 " Tank you, massa. Shall I have de red coat 
 to be marry in ?" 
 
 " Ay, Tom, you may have any colonr you 
 please." 
 
 " I no very tikular bout de colour, massa, so 
 he be red." 
 
 Tom was married, according to his desire in a 
 flaming scarlet coat. But the example proved 
 to be a verytroublcsome one for all the darkies 
 in the neighbourhood desired to be married in 
 red coats ; and even sundry matches were struck 
 up for no thor purpose than to have the pleasure 
 of appearing for one day in a scarlet suit; and 
 poor Tom was nearly importuned to death by 
 sable bridegrooms, of all sorts and sizes, for the . 
 loan of his coat. 
 
 My father-in-law was at first inclined to take 
 severe measures with his reconquered blacks. 
 But, through my intercession, they were finally 
 pardoned. I cousenting to take them for my 
 share of the slaves, which he insisted, in con 
 nexion with the half his veal estate, in bestowing 
 upon me. They were now thoroughly cured of 
 Nullification ; and more faithful blacks I could 
 not desire. But being utterly opposed to slavery 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 141 
 
 and well convinced, not only of the feasibility, 
 but of the advantage of introducing white labour 
 into the South, I shortly emancipated them all, 
 and sent such as would consent to go, to Liberia, 
 with ample provision for their settlement in that 
 happy and thriving colony. 
 
 My example has been followed in part by Mr. 
 Harrington, and sundry of our neighbours, who 
 having abandoned Nullification, and become con 
 vinced of the importance of free white labour 
 
 9 
 
 have begun gradually to adopt the practice of 
 colonization. A few of the late misguided blacks 
 were sent to Georgia aud Louisiana ; but through 
 the influence of my father in law, Colonel Peter- 
 son, and, I may add also, myself, I am happy to 
 record that not a drop of blood was shed by way 
 of retribution. 
 
 The experiment of Colonel Peterson and my 
 self, in the manufacturing way, succeds beyond 
 our expectation. We are now erectiug a second 
 mill, and our ingenious factom, Captain Timothy 
 Treadwell, has been taken as a joint partner into 
 the concern. His Anti-African-odor-gas-gene 
 rator, entirely fulfilled the intention for which it 
 was invented; but being rather expensive and 
 rather troublesome withal, by his advice, we 
 
142 A YANKEE AMONG 
 
 have dismissed the coloured operatives, and sup 
 plied their place by an importation o^ Yankees. 
 
 The prejudice with which our establishment 
 was at first viewed, is now beginning to wear 
 away. No attack has been made on it since the 
 memorable defeat of the assailants, recorded in a 
 former chapter ; and I am apt to tiring it has had 
 had a very good effect in banishing, at least from 
 our neighborhood the mania of Nullification. 
 
 Captain Treadwell, as if his active genius 
 could never rest, has lately wrought out, and 
 procured patents for, sundry new inventions < 
 
 Among the rest is one for digging sweet pota 
 toes, which performs alone the labor of twenty, 
 four negroes. Another is for gathering corn ; 
 which will husk an acre completely, in one hour 
 and fifteen minutes, carefully separating, at the 
 same time, the sound ears from the refuse. 
 
 It is a good thing for the inhabitants of the dif 
 ferent States to mingle together, not only in the 
 way of commerce, business, and politics, but like 
 wise in the nearer and sweeter intercourse of so 
 cial and domestic life. It tends to wear away 
 local asperities and to soften sectional prejudices. 
 How can a Yankee, who has married a wife in 
 the South, entertain harsh feelings towards that 
 section of the country which has given him all he 
 
THE NULLIFIERS. 143 
 
 holds dear ? How can a woman, who has mar- 
 ried a man from the North, feel aught but affec 
 tion for that land which produced her other half, 
 her second self, in the person of her husband 
 and protector? These will laugh at the little 
 peculiarities of habit, custom and education ; but 
 they wilfnot consider them as constituting any 
 essential part of the head or the heart, the mind 
 or the affections, of the people to whom they ap 
 pertain. 
 
 For my part, I have long since toted all my 
 prejudices to the moon, WHCTO 1 intend to let 
 them rest, as well with tho " Kings that are lost 
 on earth," as with the wood" ,-.>; it megs, the pork 
 and molasses, and all such U ; -tgs as never had 
 a being, except in the stor.*: touse of sectional 
 fancy, or among the tibboto of local scandal. I 
 love New England with I its Yankee notions, 
 for it is the Iand0f my birth, my childhood, my 
 education; I love the hospit South, in spite 
 of its Nullification, for it i :.:rthplace of my 
 
 wife, the home of my ac