A YANKEE AMONG THS NULLIFIEKS: AN AUTO-BIOGRAPHY. BY ELNATHAN ELMWOOD, ESQ. And now the victor stretched his eager hand Where the tall Nothing stood, or seemed to stand A shapeless shade it vanished from his sight Like forms in clouds, or visions of the night, Pope s Dunciad. SECOND EDITION. NEW- YORK: PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY WILLIAM PEARSON; CORTLANDT-STREET. 1833. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year one thousand eight hundred and thirty-three, in the Clerk s office of the Southern district of New-York. I TO THE HONORABLE TRISTRAM SURGES. The friend of Equal Rights, the untiring champ ion of American Industry, and skilful defender of "YANKEE NOTIONS :" with admiration for his statesman-like qualities, his fearless oratory, and effective wit, this volume is respectfully dedicated, by THE AUTHOR. ELMWOOD RETREAT, Feb. 1, 1833. - M760119 PREFACE. In the numberless edifying stories related at the South, of the encounter of Northern and Southern wits, in the way of trade, one thing is constantly to be observed namely, that the Southern man is caught by the artifices of the Northern one ; he is the dupe. It follows of course, that the Yankee is the better man of the two ; at least, here is an acknowledgment of the efficiency of his head, whatever may be alleged of the obliquity of his heart. But these, it is to be recollected, are South ern pictures ; and though abundantly flattering to the acuteness of the North, yet the lion is not the painter. The reader will doubtless bear this in mind in the perusal of the following pages ; and if he find any story or anecdote of "Yankee tricks," bordering close upon the improbable, and at the same time not particularly compli mentary to Yankee honesty, he will remember such anecdote is of Southern origin, and al low- it as much credence as he can afford. A YANKEE AMONG THE NULLIF1ERS. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION BIRTH EDUCATION PROFES SIONAL STUDIES FALLING IN LOVE. THE Americans are essentially a moving people. A man cannot long be contented in the same spot ; and the son rarely stays and vegetates on the ground where his father flourished. This is particularly true of the people of New England. The tide of emigration is constantly flowing to the South and the West. Into one or the other o^ these currents, the sons of the pilgrims, led on by a spirit of enterprise, or a desire of change, are very apt to fall. Such was the case with me but before I come to this part of my story, it may be well to say something of my birth, pa rentage, and education. My ancestors, as far as I can discover, were among the first people in the world. I need not 8 A YANKEE AMONG say more ; and. a proper regard for the dignity of my descent, would not permit me to say less. But whatever of fame or fortune my early pro genitors might" have enjoyed, either before or since the flood, it never came, to my certain be lief, within twenty generations of me. Therefore I had to begin, as the lawyers say de novo, and be my own purveyor of whatever fortune or dis tinction I at present enjoy. But Hercules is ever ready to aid those who in earnest put their shoulder to the wheel. I was born in Massachusetts, somewhere about forty miles from Boston, and somewhere about the beginning of the present century. Though my parents were in very humble cir cumstances, and could neither wear fine clothes nor afford them to their clildren ; they never- thelesshad a proper sense of the value of that in- ward adorning, which as far surpasseth all out- ward show, as the productions of the ablest pen exceed the gilt leather in which they are enclosed. Accordingly they gave us all they could the opportunity of a common school education ; and taught us both by precept and example, the ad vantages of a pure and spotless life. But a common school education did not satisfy me. I had heard of Colleges, where the pupil could quaff from the pure fountains of Greece and THE NULLIFIERS. 9 Home ; and I had set before me, as examples of teamed perfection, the lawyer and the clergyman of our town, who seemed to my youthful fancy to be all that was great, not only^in law and di vinity, but likewise in ancient and modern lore. Alas ! they were the last of the cocked hats and the bob wigs. The long grass now wave* above them ; yet never shall I forget the admir ation and the reverence wherewith I used to behold them and listen to their oracular tongues, the one, as he cited many a learned precedent in favour of his client s cause ; and the other, as he stood in the pulpit, giving me the best idea I have ever had of that passage in Homer, "Shook his ambrosial curls and gave the nod, The stamp of fate, and sanction of a. god :" for such almost, if not quite, was the effect, ia the days of my chidhood, of the reverend appearance and sacred function of the pastor of the flock. But, with the silver-gray wig and three cornered hat, have passed away a great part of the awe and veneration, which once attached to the clerical character. With such examples before me, to say nothing of other learned men whom I had chanced to read of, I resolved on going to College. But how was I to get there? My father, as I hare 10 A YANKEE AMONG said, did all he could when he gave me the ad vantages of a common school education ; and I had no rich relations or beneficent friend to take me by the hand and lead me to the goal of my desires. I had nothing to do but to wait patiently till I should become a man, and then look out for myself. I had got learning enough to teach a school ; and I determined that my winter earn ings should support me in my summer studies. The elder Adams had been a schoolmaster ; and the Declaration of Independence did not come from his tongue with a whit the less force for having employed that tongue in communica. ting to childhood and youth the rudiments of knowledge. Other illustrious examples were not wanting of men, who, in early life had taught others in order to acquire the means of being taught themselves. In fact it was a common ^ing, and so continues to this day, for the na. tive students of New England to support them- selves in whole, or in part, at college, by taking upon them temporarily the duties and vexa tions of a schoolmaster ; and with due deference to those, if any there be, who think otherwise, I must declare that I know of no more honor, able employment than that of improving the minds and morals of the rising generation; and if one THE NULLIFIERS. 11 nation exceeds another in true greatness and sub- stantial glory, it is that where the schoolmaster is most abroad in the land. But enough of this. I taught a country school ; birched my scholars as much as was necessary for my own quiet and their improvement ; went to College at Cambridge ; kept bachelor s hall, the better to husband my resources ; lost no time in idle amusements ; attended prayers regularly night and morning ; was never rusticated, fined, or censured, for robbing a hen-roost, cutting the bell-rope, or enacting any other college pranks whereby certain young men are exceedingly fond of distinguishing themselves, but which distinction ever seemed to me at best only a " bad eminence. " In short, I graduated with honor. My mind was stored with Latin and Greek, but my pocket was destitute of pence. I very naturally therefore fell into the tide of emigration, and taking the Southern current, soon found myself located in the land of cotton and rice, of hot heads and generous hearts, of republican theory and .aristocratic practice. My first employment was that of teaching " the young idea how to shoot." 12 A YANKEE AMONG in the family of Colonel Peterson, a rich plan ter in South Carolina. From this I soon studied law. The Colonel, with true Southern benefi cence, taking me generously by the hand, supplying my pecuniary wants, patronizing my first professional efforts, and leading me forward in the world. In the neighborhood lived another planter who had an only daughter, some sixteen or seventeen years of age. Mr. Harrington not agreeing with Dr. Johnson, that " one tongue is enough in all conscience for any woman, " would needs have his daughter instructed in the rudiments of Latin. I accepted the task task do I call it ? Heaven forgive the word ! and I hope Henrietta will forgive it too. I muse say I never before had so agreeable a pupil, or one whom I thought it so little of a task to teach. It was not that she jabbered Latin more fluently, or gave a more accurate transla tion than others ; it was not that she paid more attention to her studies, or recited longer lessons than they ; but somehow or other she was the most interesting pupil I ever had ; and I could have instructed her from morning till night and from night till morning again, if neces sary, without the least feeling of irksomeness. or fatigue. THE NULLIFIERS. 13 But Henrietta Harrington, though young enough to learn, was old enough to teach. She taught me how to love. She hao 1 the pleasantest way in the world, too, of doing it, such archness of manner such playful simplicity such charm. ing naiviete such a charming way of giving her instructions ! I in turn became her pupil my heart responded to her teachings though my reason assured me that I should have to encoun- ter the prejudices of her family and friends. Never shall I forgot the day when I first un- dertook to learn her the variations of the verb amo. " How do you decline amo, to love ? " said I. "Amo, to /ore," said she, " I m sure I shall never decline it in the world." " I beg your pardon, Miss/ said I, feeling the force of the implied emendation " be good enough to conjugate it then ?" " I ll try," said she, "with all my heart." Though Henrietta and myself, with that ex pressive language of love, which requires few words, perfectly understood one another, it was not deemed prudent, under existing circumstances to make any open parade of our affections. I had gtill to complete my professional studies, and thea make my way in the world by dint of practice* 1 well knew that Mr. Harrington would 14 A YANKEE AMONG consent to give his daughter to a penniless man ; and as a penniless one, I was resolved not to ask it. If any thing could ever reconcile me to the life of a schoolmaster, it would be the having a charming young lady for a pupil ; and were I President of the United States, I doubt very much whether I should enjoy the office so much as I did that of tutor pro tern, to Miss Henrietta Harrington. As for her father, he was too much engaged in politics, State Rights, and Nullification, to have leisure or thought for so small a matter as the possibility of his daughter falling in love with a Yankee schoolmaster. CHAPTER II. RUNNING FOR CONGRESS A STUMP SPEECH - A DEFEAT. I had now commenced the practice of law ; 1 was successful in getting clients, and fortunate in gaining causes. I even began to be looked to as a man of some political consequence, and as the probable candidate for the favors of the people. In a word, I was urged to run for Congress, I felt flattered with these proofs of the good opinion of my clients and neighbors. I always considered it an honest ambition to strive for power, where one can benefit mankind ; and according to the custom of my adopted State, I announced myself as a candidate for a seat in the National Legislature. But I was not so fortunate as to run alone. I was opposed by Major Harebrain Harrington, a distant relation of my charming pupil : and a red hot Nullifier. The following is an extract from his stump speech, as reported at the time, in the Thunder and Lightning" Gazette. " Gentlemen and Fellow Citizens," said he, "I 16 A YANKEE AMONG hold that every man s sentiments should be writ ten on his forehead with firebrand, so that the blazing characters may be read by him who rides the winged whirlwind, without ever missing a word. [Bravo ! Bravo ! and immense applause.] " You know, gentlemen, I have always acted on this principle. You know what my opinion has hitherto been in relation to State Rights and the unconstitutionality of the Tariff. What I have more than once declared to you, I still de clare that the Tariff the accursed Tariff is unconstitutional oppressive tyrannical. It is a Yankee measure. "I am opposed to the protection of American manufactures. If I thought there was in this heart one drop of blood in favor of the encou ragement of home industry, I would let it out yes, gentlemen, I would let it out but I would go to the world s end before I would make use of an American knife to let it out. No Patriot, no friend to his country, no advocate for State rights will be, so base as to use a protected arti- ele. For my part I would not hang a dog with an American rope. " What right, gentleman, have the Yankees to the protection of their looms, their spinning jen nies, their wooden nutmegs, their horn gun-flints, THE NULLIFIERS. 17 their tin side-saddles and all the cursed notions that are now protected by the accursed Tariff ? Is one part of the country to be built up at the expense of another. Are the money-catching, penny-saving, tin-peddling, notion-vending, ne ver-idle Jonathans of the East to be for ever making money, hand over fist, and getting rich as Croesus, while we, the highminded gentlemen of the South, who are above touching our fingers to any thing in the way of labor or business, are daily becoming poorer and poorer, and hasten- ing with the speed of lightning to the goal of ruin ? And what is all this owing to ? Clearly to the protection of manufactures. "The Tariff, gentlemen, is unconstitutional, and any body may see with half an eye nay, without any eyes at all that what I assert is true. Nevertheless, gentlemen, I will prove it to you as clear as the noon day sun. Any law that operates more oppressively upon one portion of the community than another is unconstitution al ; r the Tariff operates harder upon the planters than the manufacturers: ergo, the Tariff is un-j/ constitonal [Bravo! Bravo! and great applause.] " The people of the North deny that we have the right of deciding on the constitutionality of the United States laws. But fellow Citizens you 18 A YANKEE AMONG all know perfectly well that we of the south pos sess that right. It was guaranteed to us by the federal compact. "What ! shall a sovereign and independent State, which entered into a free and voluntary league with certain other States, for the erection of a general government, be bound, nolens vo- tens, by the acts of that government ? What ! shall a state of the chivalrous and high minded South be restrained by, or acknowledge allegi ance to a power which she herself helped to cre ate ? Shall she be compelled to pay duties on the products of foreign countries, for the benefit of such as are grown or manufactured at home? "Perish the whole Union first ! Perish the Constitution and the laws ! Perish the Yankees, with all their cotton mills, their patent inventions, and their infernal notions for robbing us Southern gentlemen of our money ! Sooner would I see the Union burst to atoms, and the fragments blown beyond the utmost bounds of interminable space ; sooner would I see the moon turn to fire and the sun quenched in the ocean ; sooner would I see the devil fly away with the whole country, and South Carolina to boot, than longer submit to such a state of things. " What ! gentlemen, shall we who grow THE NULLIFIERS. 19 cotton be subjected to all the burdens of the Tariff ? Ay, gentlemen, I say all for I take it to be perfectly demonstrable that we of the South do actually pay all the duties. The Yankees to be sure, with all their cunning and disregard of truth, will tell you that the consum er pays the duties ; and that each individual bears the burdens just in proportion to the amount of dutiable articles which he consumes. But I tell you gentlemen, that this is a false theory, introduced merely to suit the interests and views of the Tariff men. The only true and rational theory is that which makes the producer pay all the duty. " For instance now, I, a citizen of the so vereign State of South Carolina, grow forty bales of cotton ; while Peter Pumpkin, a citizen of Connecticut consumes in his family forty hogs heads of molasses. Peter is a manufacturer of cotton goods which are protected by a duty of forty per cent ad valorem ; is it not perfectly clear then, that I who grow the forty bales of cotton, am saddled with the whole burden of duty levied on the forty hogsheads of molasses consumed by Peter Pumpkin ? I think, gen- tlemen, you will all agree with me that this theory is perfectly correct. Hence it follows, that 20 A YANKEE AMONG the more cotton a Southern Planter raises the greater is the amount of duties which he is compelled to pay. " Heavens ! shall we submit to such a state of things ? Shall the high-minded gentlemen of the South, who grow cotton, be taxed for the benefit of the vile, penny-saving, notion-peddling Yankees, who thrive on pork and molasses ? Perish the whole universal Yankee nation ! fall every cotton mill ! die every sheep ! strike fire every horn gun flint, and blow the whole to the devil ! before we will submit to such a state of things ! " What then shall we do, gentlemen and Fellow-Citizens ! What shall we do, did I say ! Why the case is perfectly clear : NULLIFY; I say NULLIFY. [Nullify ! nullify i responded from a hundred voices.] Gen tlemen, it is highly gratifying to know that you respond to me in sentiment. I say again, gen tlemen, that we must resort to Nullification. We must refuse to pay duties. What! shall Con gress have a right to enact a law which South Carolina has not an equal right to abrogate ? Heaven forefend ! This right is clearly guaran teed by the Constitution. It is among our reserved rights; and we will blow the Union to at- oms sooner than we will yield one jot or tittle of it. THE NULLIFIERS. 21 " The Constitution of the United States has provided, that whenever a law of Congress shall be deemed obnoxious to the citizens of any State, that shall have a right, in its sovereign capacity, to declare such obnoxious law null and void or in other words, to nullify it. If such were not the case, the Constitution would be imperfect ; and instead of being free and sovereign States, as we now are, with the right of Nullification according to our sovereign will and pleasure, the government would be a mere consolidation ; the reserved rights of the States would be a downright nonentity ; and the sovereign State of South Carolina would be nothing more than a province of the General Government to be trodden under foot at will, whenever the great mammoth of consolidation, at Washington, should see fit to crush us to the earth. " Shall the democracy of the South look tamely on and see themselves despoiled by the tories of the North ? Shall we who produce cotton and rice be taxed for the sole benefit of those who consume pork and molasses ? Shall we submit to be ruled forever by cotton spinners, pedlers, and pedagogues ? " By giving me your suffrages, gentlemen, I trust you will prove to the contrary. You 22 A YANKEE AMONG want a man of firmness to represent you ; an uncompromising enemy to the Tariff; an unyield ing advocate of State Rights ; and an undivided Nullifies " His speech was received with a clapping of hands, a throwing up of hats, and a shout of huzzas, that made the very heavens ring again. What could I do agains t such an antagonist ? To be sure, I made a speech in my turn, wherein I refuted the absurdities of my opponent. I met his slander and abuse of the Yankees by appeal- ing to facts. I parried his contemptible thrust at me for having been a schoolmaster, by observ ing that the South owed half its wealth to a schoolmaster and a Yankee the inventor of the Cotton Gin. I refuted the accusation of Northern toryism, by referring to the records of . our Revolutionary War, whereby it appeared that Massachusetts alone had furnished more than sixty six thousand regular soldiers, at the different enlistments, for the support of that war ; while South Carolina scarcely furnished seven thousand I mentioned the battles which General Greene, the Rhode Island Quaker, fought against the Southern tories. In a word, I defended myself and the land of my birth, and retorted the accusa tions of my opponent as became a man of spirit. THE NULLIFIERS. 23 My party applauded, and I felt satisfied with my efforts. But I might as well have held my tongue, for any good my speech did me. The Nullifiers car ried all before them in my district, and Major Harebrain Harrington was elected by an over whelming majority. CHAPTER III. THE HORSE RACE THE ARTIFICIAL TAIL STORY OF THE TIN PEDLER AND SLEEPY DA VID THE GREY MARE PROVES THE BETTER HORSE. Among the amusements of the South, the race holds a principal place. It is astonishing with what zest the native sons of this region en ter into this sport. Not even the all absorbing business of Nullification can interfere with the regular return of the races, or mar the accustom ed enjoyments of the course, Yet, as every thing is apt to take a coloring from the prevailing topic of interest, and names are often considered as synonymous with things ; it happened about this time that a great stir was made in relation to a race about to be run between Mr.Blaze s sorrel horse, Nuttifier, and Mr. Thompson s gray mare Union. People had collected from all quarters to wit ness this race ; and even I, Yankee as I am, could not resist the temptation to be present. The bet of the principals was twenty thousand dollars THE NULLIFIERS. 25 each; besides there were innumerable smaller wa gers on either side, as the people happened to feel interested in this or that individual, or to confide in the racy qualities, if I may so speak, of their respective steeds. Most of the bettors, however, were guided by political preference, each one taking part and hazarding his money according as he happened to fancy the names of the dif ferent horses, or to agree with their owners on the subject of the Tariff, State Rights and Nul- iification. To the natural interest therefore of the race, was superadded the all-exciting one of political feeling and prejudice. I had taken care to be upon the ground early in order to obtain a ravorable location for witnessing the sport ^ and as it was sometime before the horses appeared on the ground, I had leisure to be amused with the conversation of a native South Carolinian who happened to be seated next me. He was not long in discovering his political bias, for he commenced by asking which horse I was in favor of, and on being told I had no particular preference, he declared he was in favor of the State and opposed to the Union. " The State and the Union !" exclaim ed I " what have they to do with the race?" 2 2Q A YANKEE AMONG What ! why, much sir the character of the State is concerned in issue of this race. If the Gray Mare should carry the day but it s impossible sir, she can t do a hooter against Nullifier. I ve bet a cool thousand upon his head ; and if you dare stand me continued he, whipping out his pocket book, " here is another thousand which I am ready to venture." " Excuse me, sir, I never bet. " " Indeed \ then you must be a Yankee. " " True, sir, I was born one, but am at pre sent a citizen of South Carolina." " I was sure you must be a Down Easter. No Southern man would refuse to bet, and espe- cially:when the honor of his state was at stake. By the" by, speaking of Down East, and horses and the like, I have a story to tell of a Yankee trick played off on one of our Southern gentle men. We generally consider ourselves sharp enough for any body in the way of horse-flesh, whatever we may be in regard to horn gun- flints and silver side-saddles. But even here the Yankee was too cute, as they say Down East for the Southern jockey. I think twas in the way of a swap ; but however that might be the South Carolinian had scarcely had possession of THE NULLIFIERS. 27 the Yankee s horse twenty-four hours, when the tail, which was an uncommonly handsome switch, dropt off having been merely fastened on with a single screw which was broken by rubbing against the side of the stable, or was worn out by fighting flies, I don t exactly remember which. At all events, the horse, which cost as good as two hundred dollars, was found in the morning without the least sign of a tail. And what do you think the owner did ?" " Why, sir," said I, ci if I may be allowed to use a borrowed joke, and avail myself likewise of the Yankee privilege, I might guess, that he sold the horse at wholesale, inasmuch as he pro bably could not re-tail him." " Good ! sir, good ! you speak like a book, The gentleman disposed of the horse to the next Yankee that came along for fifteen dollars. He was a fine looking animal, with the exception of the posterior deficiency ; and the second Yankee, as it afterwards turned out , having ingeniously re-tailed him, as you say, sold him once more, for another two hundred dollars." "An excellent story certainly," said I, " but, like most of those related of the Yankees, it wants probability." 64 Why, as to that, sir, " said my companion 28 A YANKEE AMONG who seemed to be a very good natured man, "you have it for what it is worth. But I- can tell you another horse story, for the truth of which I can vouch, as I lost a cool two thousand dollars by it. " The Yankees, as I told you before, are apt to be too cute for us in every thing except horse-flesh, and even sometimes in that. It was this day three years ago, and on this very spot, that I entered my horse Southron for a purse of two thousand dollars. He had won a like sum the year before with all ease. In short he was the best horse at that time in all Caroli- na. There were to be sure two other horses, and very fine ones too, entered against him ; but they were no touch to Southron, and I was as sure of winning as I am of sitting here at this moment when who should come along but a d d Yankee with a tin-cart ! He had the shabbiest, worst looking horse you ever set eyes on. He was a lean, slab-sided, crook-legged, rough-haired, milk-and-molasses-colored son of a gun as ever went on four legs. He stood all the time as if he was asleep in fact, his owner call, ed him SLEEPY DAVID. In short, sir, he was such a horse as would not have brought twenty dollars. THE NULLIFIERS. 29 "It was near the hour of starting, when the pedlrfr, whose exterior corresponded marvellous- ly with that of his horse, and who said his name was Zadock Barker, to the astonishment of all, intimated a wish to enter his horse along with the rest. "Your horse ! " exclaimed I "what, that sleepy looking devil there ? You d better enter him for the turkey-buzzards. " 4 Not as you know on, Mister," returned the Yankee, with some show of spirit. "To be sure the critter looks rather sleepy as he stands, and on that account 1 call him Sleepy David ; but he is a jo-fired smart horse for all that. He is like a singed cat, a darned sight better than he looks. I should like tarnation well to try him against some of your South Carolina hosses. To be sure I did nt come all the way from home on purpose ; but as I was coming out this way with a load of tin and other notions, I thought I might time it so as to kill two birds with one stone ; for thinks I to myself, if I can win the purse and peddle off my notions at the same time, I shall make a plaguy good spec. But I had to hurry on like the nation to get here in season ; and that s one reason my hoss looks so kind of shabby and out of kilter this morning. But for all that, he ll perform like a days work I tell you." 30 A YANKEE AMONG G ("Supposing he had no idea of running his horse, and that all he said was merely to gratify his propensity for talking, I bade him begone and not trouble us with his d d Yankee pelaver. "Why, Mister", said he "this is a free country, and a man has a right to talk, or let it alone, I jest as he can afford. Now Iv e taken a good \ deal of pains to git here this morning in order to | run Sleepy David against some of your Southern . hossest I aint a joking sir, I m in airnest. I understand there is a purse of two thousand dol lars, and I should like amazingly to pick it up." " You talk of picking up a purse of two thou- | sand dollars with that bit of carrion of yours ! Away with you, and don t trouble us any further." "Well, if I can t run, then I spose I can t, but it s darned hard any how for a man to take so much pains as I have, to come to the races, and then can t be allowed to run arter all." " It s too late now ; by the rules of the course the horse should have been entered yesterday ; however, if you ll plank the entrance money, perhaps you may get in yet." I said this by way of getting rid of the fellow, having no idea he could command a fourth part of the sum re quired. THE NULLIFIERS. 31 " How much might the entrance money be ?" drawing out a purse containing a few shillings in silver and a few pence in copper. " If it aint more n a quarter of a dollar, or so, I ll plank it on the nail." " It is two hundred dollars." " Two hundred dollars !" exclaimed the Yan kee. " By gauly, what a price ! Why they axed me only a quarter of a dollar to see the Elephant and the whole Caravan in New York* Two hundred dollars ! Why you must be joking now. Bless me ! my whole load of tin ware, hoss, wagon and all would nt fetch that. But, Mister, don t you think I could get in for ten dollars ?" " Nothing short of two hundred ; and that must belaid in the short space of five minutes." " We now thought we had fairly got rid of the fellow ; but he returned to the charge, and asked if fifty dollars would nt do, then seventy- five, then a hundred ; and finding he could not make a bargain for less than the regular sum, he engaged to give it, provided he could find any one to loan him the money, for which he offered to pawn his wagon load of notions and Sleepy David to boot. He asked one, then another, to accommodate him with the loan declaring that as soon as ever he took the puree, the money 32 A YANKEE AMONG should be returned, and he would give a dozen of tin whistles into the bargain. He, however, got more curses than coppers, until some wag, who had plenty of cash, and liked to see the sport go on, lent him the two hundred dollars out of sheer malice. Though, as it afterwards turned out, the Yankee had money enough about him, and was merely playing the possum all the while. " His next object was to borrow a saddle. Here also he was accommodated ; and taking Sleepy David from the tin-cart, he scrambled up. on his back, and took his station on the course. You never saw a fellow sit a horse so awkwardly in all your life. Every body said he would fall before he had gone a hudred yards ; and some, out of compassion, urged him to withdraw. " Not by a darned sight," exclaimed he Why, do you think I m such a tarnal fool as to pay two hundred dollars, and then not run ar- ter all ?" * : Others, who wanted to see the sport, though it should cost some broken bones, encouraged him to proceed saying, as they laughed aloud, that they had no doubt but he would carry off the purse. - That s what I mean to do/ said he " I hamt come here for nothing, I can tell you. THE NULLIFIERS. Wake up, Sleepy David, and look about you ; \ou must have your eyes open to-day ; it s nc time to be snoozin when there s money at stake." " The horse, as if he understood what his mas- Jer was saying, opened his eyes, pricked up hi* ears, and actually showed some signs oflife. 4i The signal was now given to start. Away sprang Southron, with the speed of lightning, and away sprang the other Southern horses, leaving Sleepy David far in the rear, and the pedler verging from side to side, as if he was just ready to fall off. The horse went pawing along with his tail clinging close to his haunches, and his nose stuck out straight before him ; and you never beheld so queer a figure cut by any man and horse as this singular pair made, " But they improved as they proceeded ; the pedler sat more jockey like., and the horse evi dently gained upon the others. But it would no: do. He came in a long way behind Southron, and not a very short one behind the others. " It was now thought the Yankee had got enough of the race, and would withdraw before the next heat. Contrary to all expectation, how- ever, he persevered ; and even offered to bet a. thousand dollars on the issue of the race. " The fellow s a fool," said one. 2* 34 A YANKEE AMONG " He don t know which side his bread is but- ered," said another, "or else he woud nt risk any more money on so desperate a stake." "He s safe enough there ," said a third, "for he has no more to risk." " Here, however, every body was mistaken again, for the pedlar hauled out an old greasy*/ pocket book and planked the thousand dollars. It was covered of course. But I confess I now began to be staggered ; and to suspect the Yan kee was, after all, more knave than fooj. I had no fears, however, for the purse. Southron was not a horse to be beaten in one day, and espe cially by such a miserable looking devil as Sleepy David. " The second heat was now commenced ; And, if I had before felt confident in the errare superi ority of my noble horse Southron, that confidence was strengthened, as I again saw him coming in ahead of the rest. I considered the purse now as my own property. In imagination I had grasped it, and was about putting it safely in my pocket, when lo and behold ! the pedlar s horse, which was behind all the rest, suddenly shot forward as if the devil kicked him an end ; and, stretching his neck like a crane, won the heat by a head. " Every body was astonished. That horse THE NULLIFIERS. 35 must be the devil himself, said one. At least, he has the devil to back him, said another ; I was sure he would play some Yankee trick be fore he had got through." Such were the obser vations that passed from mouth to mouth. The Yankee, in the meantime, offered to plank another thousand dollars ; but nobody would take the bet. And it was well they did nt ; for at the third heat, Sleepy David not only distanced every horse, < but even came in a full quarter of a mile ahead of Southron himself. " There, by gauly ! said the Yankee, as he dismounted, I ll take that are leetle purse if you please, and the tother cool thousand ! I knew well enough that your Southern bosses could nt hold a candle to Sleepy David" Here the South Carolinian ended his story. It was now time for the race to begin, and my companion was too much interested in the con test of the State against the Union, to think any thing more, for the time being, of Yankee tricks. Every body took sides either for one horse or the other. For my own part, tho* I was resolv ed not to let my political feelings enter into so small an affair as a horse race, I could not help being in favor of the gray mare Union, and fully Relieved that in the end she would prove herself 36 A YANKEE AMONG the better horse. The ladies, also, as far I had an opportunity to observe, generally took the same side ; ^vhether it was owing to the name, or the sex of the animal, I could not well make out. Perhaps the truth lay between. x At any rate, there was much waving of handkerchiefs and many fair smiles at every little appearance of success Attained by the beautiful mare, Union. The gentlemen, on the contrary, were mostly in favour of the sorrel horse, Nullifier. " Hurrah for the sorrel !" exclaimed one ; " PH bet a hundred niggers against a hundred bales of cotton, that the State wins the money. "Done !" said a Union man. " Hurrah for Nullifier ! Hurrah for the sor rel !" shouted several other voices. " Hurrah for the gray mare ! hurrah for Union ! was answered on the other hand. " Who dares take part with the Union aganst the State !" roar ed a Nullifier ; at the same time putting himself in an attitude of fight. " /," stoutly replied a Union man, likewise preparing himself for combat. At it they went, and the State Rights man, who happened to be the least sober of the two, very soon bellowed, ".Enough !" Several other bat. ties were fought in like manner sometimes one THE NULLIFIERS. 37 party and sometimes the other carrying the day. But most of the spectators were too much interest, ed in the race, to suffer their attention to be drawn off for a moment from the noble steeds that were straining every nerve for victory. The first heat was won by Nullifier ; when the State Rights party, shouted till the heavens rang again at the momentary triumph. " Two to one on Nullifier !" said my compan ion. " Dare you stand me, sir ? Oh, 1 beg par don, sir you never bet." " Four to one on Nullifier !" exclaimed ano ther. " Six to one on Nullifier !" shouted a third. But their triumph was of short duration. The sorrel horse, who had shown no want of speed, proved deficient in bottom. He began to flag in the second heat, and entirely broke down in the third. The shouts of victory now rose long and loud 6 from the other side ; and the waving of handkerchiefs and the clapping of fair hands., showed conclusively that the gray mare had pro. ved herself the better horse. CHAPTER IV. SOUTHERN PREJUDICES AGAINST NORTHERN INDUSTRY. ANECDOTE ILLUSTRATING ITS EFFECTS. STORY OF FARMER APPLEGATE AND HIS TWO SONS. /V It is no uncommon thing for a man to prejudice his own interest merely for the sake of injuring his neighbor ; or, in other words, to " bite off his own nose," provided he cannot otherwise deprive his neighbors of theirs. On this principle it is that many of the Nullifiers refuse to make use of articles of American manufacture, even though they be of the same quality and cost less than those which come from abroad ; and all this, be cause those articles are fostered by a protecting duty. These gentry will neither clothe themselves in the fine woollens, nor allow their negroes to be clad in the coarse ones of America. Every thing that is thought worthy of protection is an abomi nation to them. They abhor the name of a cot ton mill ; a smelting furnace puts them in a red glow ; they cannot endure the sight of a field of hemp ; and like the orator of Roanoke, they THE NULLIFIERS. 39 would go a mile out of their way to kick a sheep. In short, it is only necessary to give a thing pro tection, and the protected thing at once becomes odious in their sight. Hitherto, if their accounts are to be credited, they have been mnch in the habit of purchasing wooden nutmegs, horn gun -flints, bass-wood pump kin seeds, and sundry ingenious manufactures of the North, which, were they once to be enume rated in a tariff of duties, would forever lose their reputation with these advocates of free trade and abominators of whatever is so unfortunate as to receive protection. But with all their hatred of American manu factures, they are often cheated into the use of them ; and it all passes well enough as long as they fancy them to be of outlandish origin ; but let them once discover that they have unwittingly benefitted their own countrymen, and their vex ation knows no bounds. Among other stories of Yankee tricks, they do not fail to relate many an imposition practised upon them in palming off American for British Manufactures. As I was one evening in company with sundry Nullifiers, one of them related the following : " I am very particular," said he " never to use an article of American manufacture on any con- 40 A YANKEE AMONG sideration whatever. It costs me a great deal more to be sure to obtain those of foreign pro duction. But I am determined not to encourage the advocates of protection ; and would sooner go fifty miles and pay a hundred per cent more than a thing is worth if it be only imported, than have a similar article of American manufacture brought to my very door and sold at a fair price. " But in spite of all my care I sometimes get confoundedly taken in. Why it was only last week that I discovered a monstrous cheat that had been put upon me. Falling into conversa tion with a Yankee, I launched out as usual against the Tariff, and swore that I would go bareheaded and barebacked till the end of time, sooner than I would wear a coat made of American cloth, or a hat manufactured in an American shop. " With that the fellow poked out his hand and desired, if it was no offence, to examine the quality of my coat. You may examine it as much as you please, said I ; but you ll find it none of your Yankee manufacture !" " There s where you re mistaken, Mister, said he, I helped make that cloth myself at the Pon- toosuc Factory, in old Barkshire, Massachusetts." i " The devil you did ! said I. Why I purchas ed this cloth of a merchant who assured me pos- THE NULLIFIERS. 41 itively that it was of British manufacture. But what makes you think it is American cloth, and especially that it was made at the Pon what do you call it, factory ?" " Why I know by the feel of it. Any fool may know that." " He then made a like request provided al ways it was no offence to examine my hat. You are devilish afraid of giving offence said I, at the same time handing him my hat ; but at all events you il not find that of American manufacture. It s real London made. I paid ten dollars for it to the importer. " The more fool you then," said he ; "why, I made that hat with my own hands, in the town of Danbury, Connecticut ; and I can buy as many as you can shake a stick at, for four dollars a piece." "Confound you for a lying Yankee !* said I, beginning to get angry at the fellow s imperti nence "do you pretend to be hatter and cloth manufacturer too ? But here s sufficient evidence inside of the hat, to, convict you of an untruth, here s the name of the manufacturer, Bond- Street, London." "Ha! Ha! Ha?" said he, laughing in my face " I printed that label in Hartford, Connec ticut." 42 A YANKEE AMONG " You Yankee Scoundrel !" said I, " what hav nt you done ?" " I never did so foolish a thing," replied he, as to pay twice as much for British manufactures as I should have to give for American ones ; and after all, find the goods had been made in the workshops of our own country." " This capped the climax of the fellow s [im pertinence ; and I kicked him out doors for his pains." Several other anecdotes were related, tending to illustrate the prevailing opposition of the South to the encouragement of American industry ; when ^a friend of mine from New England who happened to be present, observed, that the South Carolinians had not always been so bitterly op. posed to the principle of protection ; but that on the contrary, they had been among the first to claim the fostering care of Government, in the protection of their staple commodity. "This reminds me," said he, "of a story, which I have before related, and which I understand by some means or other founctits way into the New York Citizen. How it got there I will not pre tend to say ; unless it was by some speculator in Yankee notions, who chanced to hear me relate it. But because my story has been unluckily THE NULLIFIERS. 43 filched and peddled off, it is no reason why I should not tell it to the present company ; and especially to my friends, the Nullifiers, to whom as it will probably be new, so I hope it will prove highly satisfactory. It is called the story of FARMER APPLEGATE AND HIS TWO SONS. Farmer Applegate, the owner of a considera ble tract of land, had two sons, Jonathan and William or, as they were usually called, Jock and Bill. They were from their childhood of ve ry different dispositions. Jock was staid and so ber inclined to industry, and fond of laying up his coppers. Bill was a harum scarum sort of a lad, idle in his habits, peppery in his disposition, and more fond of throwing away his coppers than hoarding them up. While Jock was industrious ly at work on the farm, Bill would be away pad dling in some puddle for frogs, or shooting but terflies through an air-gun. These different habits and dispositions followed them to the age of manhood, when their father thought proper to settle them in life. He por tioned Jock with a parcel of bleak, barren, stony, and uneven land, but pretty well supplied with running water. This soil, said he to himself, re* 44 A YANKEE AMONG quires a world of hard labor, and produces little when you have done. But that makes no differ ence, for Jock will get a living, and lay up money any where. As for Bill, said he, there s no use in giving him any land that requires labor , for he ll never work on it, though it were to keep him from starving. Accordingly Farmer Apple- gate set off to his son Bill a piece of low flat land, a little to the south of Jock s which produced cat tails in abundance, and that without the labor of cultivation. Cat-tails, in those days, were used as a sub stitute for feathers, in the preparation of beds. They brought fourpence a pound ; and as they found a ready market and cash pay, Farmer Ap- plegate thought that his son Bill, idle as he was could hardly fail of making a tolerable livelihood from the produce of an article, which required no labor, but the gathering and carrying to market. But here the old gentleman was mistaken. Bill thought it quite too great a hardship to pick and sell the cat-tails even tho they grewj spontane. ously. He purchased therefore a parcel* of mon- kies to do the principal drudgery for him par ticularly the gathering and putting into .sacks. These monkies, said he, will save me a world cf labor. They can pick cat-tails just as well as I THE NULLIFIERS. 45 and, for the matter of that, a great deal better, for they are more nimble and active ; besides this low swampy land will not injure their health as it does mine. The monkies were accordingly set to work* They were sufficiently nimble and handy ; but the difficulty was, to keep them at work, and to make them do their work well. Like all the rest of their race, they were a capricious, versatile, and mischievous set. They would not work, un less some one was constantly watching them and when they did work, they made such waste as was enough to ruin anybody throwing about the cat-tails, and playing the mischief with their master s property. In order to keep these troublesome servants at work without being obliged constantly to over look them in person, Bill procured a stout ourang outang, armed him with a whip, and made him monkey-driver and overseer of the work. But the ourang outajig turned out to be little better, or more trustworthy, than the skipjacks under his charge. Every thing went at sixes and sevens. While Bill was away fishing and shooting, the monkey driver and the monkies were playing the devil with his property. The consequence of his idle habits and his bad 46 A YANKEE AMONG management was, that he got deeply in debt, was harrassed with executions, and threatened with bankruptcy. In this difficulty what does he do? Instead of getting rid of his monkies, and attend- ing to work himself, he petitions his father to grant him a premium, of three farthings per pound on his cat-tails alleging that he cannot possibly get a living without this protection to his industry. " Industry!" exclaimed Farmer Applegate " talk of your industry! Truly, if you do not get a living, it will not be for want of impudence." Though the Farmer expressed himself in this wise ; nevertheless, being a good-natured man, and having the welfare of his children at heart, he granted the proposed premium of three far- things per pound on all the cat-tails grown by his son Bill. With this help Bill got along tolerably well for a time ; but neither then did he improve his habits, or pay his debts ; but on the contrary, he became, if possible, more idle and careless than ever. This protection, said he, is a fine thing it will keep me in spending money if no thing else. In the mean time Jock was industrious and sa ving. Though his land produced little, he con trived, by turning his hand to a variety of things, THE NULLIFIERS. 47 and manufacturing sundry " notions," as he call ed them, to obtain a tolerable livelihood, and to keep clear of debt, though he did not get rich. Among other " notions," which he contrived to manufacture, were wooden Jewsharps, which he sold for three halfpence apiece. He went on ve ry contentedly, nor asked any aid from the old gentleman, until Bill had obtained the above men tioned premium on his cat-tails ; when, Jock, just ly concluding that he had an equal claim to pro- tection, asked and obtained a premium of one far thing on each of the Jewsharps manufactured at his mill. He now increased his business, enlarged his mill, and with the aid of the farthing premium, began to get forward in the world. Bill seeing the prosperity of his brother Jock, flew into^ a terible passion, declared the premium on Jews- harps a monstrous imposition, and not to be en dured. What ! said he, shall I pay one penny three farthings for a wooden Jewsharp, when I can get an iron one for sixpence ? To be sure, the wooden article answers every purpose for my monkies, whose leisure hours must be amus ed with Jewsharps of some kind or other, to pre vent them from being worse employed. But that is neither here nor there it is the principle that I contend against. 48 A YANKEE AMONG Bill now posted forthwith to his father s, to re., quest him to take off the premium on Jock s Jewsharps alleging that it was too bad that Jock should be growing rich by his vile wooden man ufacture, while he was growing poor on the more honorable business of raising cat-tails. Farmer Applegate endeavoured to reason v/ith him on the injustice of his demand, inasmuch as the same principle had been followed in relation both to him and his brother, and inasmuch as he him self had been the first to ask that protection, which he was now so ready to condemn. But the more the Farmer attempted to reason, the more Bill got in a passion; until at last, in order to appease him, the old gentleman reduced the premium on Jock s Jewsharps to one half far thing each. This concession, however, so far from satisfying Bill, seemed only to enrage him the more. The principle ! said he ; it is the principle I contend against ; and sooner than sub- mit to it, I ll blow up Jock s mill sky-high, set fire to the old man s Ffouse, and play the devil with the whole concern. These threats he expressed openly, but neither Jock nor the old gentleman were to be moved. They had a wary eye upon his movements, but kept perfectly cool. This composure only the more enraged Bill ; THE NULLIFIERS. 49 and arming his monkies one day with squirts and pop-guns, he marched at the head of this uncouth army to attack Jock in his mill. But Jock was ready for him. He had closed the door of his mill, and prepared a few buckets of hot water, so arranged that by pulling a string he could up set the whole of them upon his assailants. The door being barricaded, the monkies were sent, as he expected to scale the walls and enter the win- dows. Jock waited composedly until the noisy troop had nearly reached the lower casement, when suddenly pulling the string, he discharged the hot contents of the bucket upon their heads. The consequence was that they abandoned the attack in great confusion, they threw away their arms, and ran screeching and screaming about with their scalded polls, like so many mad crea tures; and when General Bill endeavoured once more to urge them to the attack, instead of obey ing his orders, they with one accord fell upon himself, tore off every rag of clothes he hap, scratched and wounded him t>U the blood began to run in streams down his naked body, and would soon have made an end of him, had not Jock, sallying from the mill, put them to flight, and generously rescued his fraternal enemy. 50 A YANKEE AMONG From that time Bill grew more rational. He sent his monkies back to Africa, picked his own cat-tails, and said no more about Jock s premium, or the odious principle of protection. CHAPTER V. NOVEL DISCOURSE, BY A DISTINGUISHED FUNC TIONARY, ON CALCULATING THE VALUE OF THE UNION. In the course of my professional engagements, being at C , and happening to be detained in consequence of my client s cause standing below sundry others on the docket, I one day strolled to the lecture room of a distinguished, scientific, and literary functionary of that place. His ven erable age his strongly marked countenance his short thick person his most philosophical disregard of dress in short his whole manner and person strongly attracted my attention. I could have sworn, before I heard him speak, that he had something original to say. I was not mis- taken. His lecture was on The Value of the Union. Having adjusted his spectacles and placed his notes before him, he began: "You may possi bly think the subject of the present lecture a very extraordinary one ; and, moreover, one which it does not become the patriot to discuss. Your prejudices, young gentlemen, are very natural ; but they must be eradicated. Patriotism, to be 52 A YANKEE AMONG sure, is very well in its place ; but it should nev* er be allowed to run counter to the interests of its votaries. " The Union you have no doubt been taugh t to consider as a sacred thing, the utility or value of which was never to be called in question. But this is an eroneous idea. The value of the . Union may be calculated as well as the vaiue of an onion, or any other given commodity. Why not ; An onion is composed of several concen tric rings, or circles, all uniting and forming one entire whole, or perfect onion. The Union of the States is formed in a manner somewhat ana- lageous. There are States within States, and States without States. Pennsylvania, Ohio, and sundry others, are like the interior circles of the onion ; while those of South Carolina, Virginia, Massachusetts, and some others, resemble the ex terior ones. " Here, gentlemen, is a map of the United States, and here also is an onion. The map I borrowed, but the onion I imported from Europe, and at a considerable expense, because 1 would not encourage the growers of onions at Wea- thersfield. Here I say is the map, and here is the onion. Examine them for yourselves. Com pare them together, and see how striking is the resemblance. THE NULL1FIERS. 53 I might extend the parallell further, and say that the Union, as well as the onion, brings tears in our eyes. At least it does into mine. I feel what I say at this very moment ; and if you will examine into the subject, I think you will feel it too. And yet so far as the onion is concerned^ I assure you it is a very mild one, compared with those which are grown in Connecticut. The on ion I say draws tears, and so does the Union. The onion makes us weep because it sends forth an acrid effluvia, that powerfully effects the lach rymals ; the Union makes us weep because it because, ahem ! because in short, because it is the Union. " Having drawn this parallel, and shown that the Union may with perfect propriety be calcula ted, I now proceed to sho\y that it ought to be calculated. "The Union, as I have already hinted, is a commodity ; and it is one with which we have rnnch to do and I am afraid shall have for some time to come. It is an expensive commodity ; and as economy is a virtue, and retrenchment is the order of the day, it behoves us, as prudent men arid practical utilitarians, to see that the va lue of every thing for which we expend our mo- ney, is equal to its cost. If not, it is clearly a 54 A YANKEE AMONG bad bargain; and the use of such commodity should be abandoned An onion, if it be import ed, like the specimen before us, may cost a shil ling. Now if it be not worth more than nine pence half penny, there is a clear loss on it of two pence half penny. And so of the Union, or any other commodity. It costs in common par- lance, more than it comes too. " Having thus shown you that the value of the Union may and should be calculated, I now pro ceed to point out the correct method of doing it. The advantages of the Union are first to be set down in figures, and directly under them the dis- advantages. A line is then to be drawn be neath, and the balance struck. If the advantages more than balance the disadvantages, then il follows that the Union is a profitable commodity ; but if otherwise, then otherwise. "Now what are the advantages of the Union? For my part, I know of but one viz. defence against foreign foes. Where States, like indi viduals, are weak, it is doubtless a matter of po licy anc 3 -~md discretion, to unite for mutual de fence. This must be particularly the case with such puny States as Rhode-Island, Massachu setts, Connecticut, and sundry others that I could name. But the great and powerful State of THE NULLIFIERS. 55 South Carolina, has no need to lean on her sister States for support. She can take care of her self. She asks no favors, and why should she grant any ? To be sure she was at one time in a condition to be benefited by her sister States ; but now, to use the saying of a certain honest and discreet old lady, she has got a porridge-pot of her own, and has no need to borrow or lend. " The only advantage of the Union, as I said before, is, protection against foreign enemies. This, however, depends on a mere contingency ; and it would be more proper to say, possible for" eign enemies. The disadvantages on the other hand, are too numerous to mention. In the first place, we have to help to support the General Go vernment ; in the second, we are taxed for the encouragement of manufactures ; in the third we are compelled to submit to the will of the majori ty in Congress ; in the fourth, we are liable to be hung for treason against the United States, un der certain contingencies ; and so on, and so forth ! " From all these circumstances, and from your knowledge of arithmetic, young gentlemen, you might very well make the proposed calcula tion, without any further assistance on my part^ Nevertheless, to enable you to economise time, 56 A YANKEE AMONG and to attain the greatest possible accuracy, I have constructed a set of tables, whereby the value of the Union may be ascertained to the thousandth part of a mill, in the short space of one minute and three seconds. The precise principles upon which these tables are construct - ed, I need not explain te you at present. Suf fice it to say, that you will find them adequate to the great purpose for which they were invent ed ; and that the value of the Union may be calculated, to any possible degree of exactness, in the shortest possible time. " These tables have cost me much labor and thought. They have not been constructed for the mere gratification of idle curiosity. They are intended for use ; and the sooner they are used, the better. It is high time to calculate the value of the Union." Just as the learned functionary arrived at this point, I was called away by my client, and so lost the remainder of this very novel and interest ing discourse. CHAPTER VI. RESOLVE ON GETTING MARRIED CONSULT KY FRIEND ON THE SUBJECT. Though Major Harebrain Harrington, as 1 mentioned in the last chapter, carried the election all hollow, it was not a little gratifying to me to know that I might have been elected with great ease, had I been on the other side of the quest- ion being as I was assured by sundry support- ers of my opponent, personally more popular than he. Indeed, several of them told me that it was a thousand pities I was not on the right side in politics ; and it was wholly owing to the staunch Nullification principles of Major Har rington, that he was elected instead of me. This was some consonsolation, but it did not carry me to Congress. However, I had the sat- isfaction of finding that, notwithstanding my an- ti-nulification principles, my practice was daily increasing, and that my income was now suffic ient to support a family in a becoming manner. I therefore began to think in earnest of consum mating my union with my beloved Henrietta. But before taking so important a step, I went to 3* 58 A YANKEE AMONG consult my kind patron and unvarying friend Co* lonel Peterson. His manners wore nearer those of the Revolutionary standard, than are general- ly to be found in modern days : open, frank, and easy ; and what was of more consequence to me, his mind was comparitively free from the pre vailing prejudices of the South in regard to us Yankees. "Ay, " Ay," said he, as I named to him the subject nearest my heart, " you are a lucky dog Elmwood, to have stolen into the good graces of the finest girl in South Carolina. It was not for nothing that you gave her lessons in Latin. But you Yankees are sly rogues ; and play the devil with the hearts of our Southern women. I ll be bound now, young man, you made your comments on the Latin text more interesting than the text itself. " Why Colonel, I am not so vain," said I, " as to ascribe any extraordinary influence to my poor comments. On the contrary, Henrietta seemed to me to be very well satisfied with the text. But what think you, Colonel, shall I stand any chance of success with her father ?" The Colonel shook his head. " I see," said I, " you consider my case to be hopeless." THE NULLIFIERS. 59 " Umph !" said he, " why, for that matter Mr. Slmwood, no case is perhaps to be considered entirely hopeless against Yankee enterprise and perseverance. But there again is a misfortune, the very name of Yankee is sufficient to ruin your prospects with any father this side of Ma. son and Dixon s line. And do you expeet to es cape the difficulties that must attach to so hardy an enterprise as that of a Yankee schoolmaster ? carrying off the only daughter of a South Caroli na planter ?" " You must recollect I am a lawyer at present, Colonel Peterson; besides I am now settled here, and do not intend to carry off the girl." " So much the worse," said the Colonel with a roguish wink, "for if you had once fairly car ried her off, you would be sure of her. But there are plenty of reasons in the present case, why you should not succeed in gaining the consent of old Mr. Harrington. In the first place, you are a Yankee, and he is a South Carolinian ; in the second place, to say nothing of your having act ed as tutor to his daughter, you do not drive a carriage and four, or engage in a fox-hunt, or a horse race ; in the third place, you are, like my. ,elf, on the wrong side in politics. And then, if 60 A YANKEE AMONG . I mistake not, Mr. Harrington has another match in view." " Another match !" " Certainly you do not expect to be without a rival, do you ? What would you think of Ma jor Harebrain Harrington ?" " Think of him ! why I think he ought to be content with having carried the election for Con- gress, without aspiring likewise to carry off his fair cousin. But one thing A I am certain of, she does nt like him." "jBut her father does which you know- so far as you are concerned is all the same thing." " I am certain she will never consent to marry Major Harrington." " And if she should not how will you be the gainer, as long as her father will not consent tc her marrying you ?" " There is something in that, Colonel ; but then again there will be no little comfort in knowing she will never marry my rival, even though I should never gain her myself. Bu^ this remains to be proved ; and I should do little credit to the land of my birth and to the name oi a Yankee, if I did not persevere, even to ths THE NULLIFIERS, 61 end, with such a tempting prize in view. ? "Bravo! bravo! young man I like your spirit. Faint heart never won, and never de served to win, fair lady," CHAPTER VII. BROACH THE SUBSECT TO THE LAEY S FATHER AM FORBIDDEN THE HOUSE STORY OF A YANKEE CLOCK. Full of my matrimonial project, and knowing of no sufficient reason why I should be refused, I went next day to Mr. Harrington, and boldly, but respectfully, asked him for the hand of his daughter. Heavens and earth ! what a passion he flew into ! He forgot, for the moment, the gout with which he had been for sometime con fined to his room ; he sprang upon his feet with out the help of his crutches, and! verily believe would have Nullified me on the spot, if violent language or furious gestures could have accom plished it. x Besides sundry other hard names ? which I do not think it necessary to repeat, he called me a poor, peddling, penniless pedagogue. At the word peddling, I felt my ire beginning to rise ; and had he not been the father of Hen rietta, and had I not long ago resolved that pas sion should never get the better of me, I know not what might have been the consequence. As THE NULLIFIERS. 63 it was, I replied, coolly, that I was rtot aware of ever having been a pedlar ; that I could not at present be called a pedagogue ; and that, howev er poor I might once have been, so far from be ing now penniless, my practice was amply suffic ient, not only for my own support, but also for the maintenance of a family. In matters of dispute people are apt to be vio lent in proportion to the weakness of their cause . and Mr Harrington, being unable to oppose aught to the truth of my statement, very natural ly made up in violence what he wanted in argu ment. If I had not peddled tin ware and wood en pumpkin seeds, he declared I had done that which was scarcely more honorable, inasmuch as I had peddled Latin and Greek. At this sin gular turn, I could not help smiling, as I remind ed him of the remarkable readiness with which Southern gentlemen purchased these commodi ties of us Yankees. " D n your commodities !" exclaimed he u I wish they had stuck in your throat, and that you and your whole tribe had been obliged to feed on Greek and Latin till you were thinner ^han so many heathen ghosts, before I had expos ed my daughter to your wiles, "Wiles!" 64 A YANKEE AMONG " Ay, wiles, sir. You Yankees are all a set of cheats. " There now," pointing to a wooden clock, " is a specimen of your rascally tricks. I purchased that clock some time ago of a Con necticut peddler. He called it a St. Killigrew s clock, and told me I must wait till -that Saint s day, which he assured me was just at hand, be- fore I set it agoing, and then it would never stop. I had had some experience of Yankee tricks, and I therefore required him to warrant it, which he readily engaged to do, and gave me a writing to this effect that if the St. Killigrew s clock va ried one minute in the course of six months, he was to refund the forty dollars which I paid him. In less than a year he came along again, and asked me how the St. Killigrew s clock went. "Went! said I, you cheating Yankee rascal. it never went at all. He put on a very long face, and said he guessed I had set it on the wrong day. There again, said I, you Yankee scoundrel, you deceived me with your St. Killigrew s day. I looked in the Almanac, and there was no such Saint to be found. I guess you must a looked in the wrong Almanac, said he. It should a been the real Andrew Beerses Almanac, by Andrew Beers, Pliilom. I fully believe, said I, it s all a Yankee trick, and I ll bet forty bales of cotton THE NULLIFIERS. 65 to a wooden nutmeg that there is no such Saint in the calendar. Then it s all his own fault, said he, for he might a been there if he was a mind to. So ! said 1, I ve caught you in your rogue s tricks, have I ? You must refund the mo- ney, and that very sudden too. Why, said he coolly, has the clock varied any ? Varied ! ex- claimed I why, you villain, it has never budg ed an inch. Then, said he with a sort of villain- ous smile for he never laughed like an honest man if it has stood stock still all the time, it sar- tinly could nt a varied any. You need nt think to creep out there, said I ; if you don t refund the forty dollars in five minutes time, I ll have you taken up for a swindler. He refused, and accord ingly, I had him arrested on a warrant. When the day of trial came, he pled his own cause, and, would you think it ? got off clear. Why, Sir, these Yankees are the very devil on the tongue. I m credibly informed there is nt one, from the greatest to the least, but what can plead like a lawyer, or, if necessary, preach like a priest. - &nd I ve been told moreover that every man and. boy, from Passamaquoddy to Long Island Sound> could with the greatest ease navigate a ship the world over." " Upon my word, Mr, Harrington," said ! 66 A YANKEE AMONG " you pay a sufficiently high compliment to the ingenuity and intelligence of the people of New England." Not a whit to high but mark me, sir, while I acknowledge their acuteness and intelligence^ I at the same time affirm that they are the most consummate cheats that ever lived." " It is not fair to take your estimate of the whole population from the character of here and there a pedlar by whom you may have been deceived ; and I hope the time may come when your opinion of Yankee honesty may be materi ally modified, if not entirely changed." " Mr. Elmwood, I make no exceptions, sir if they do not cheat in one way, they do in another. If they cannot rob us of our cash, they will steal away the affections of our daughters." " To this last charge, Mr. Harrington, I am afraid not a few of the Yankees must plead guilty. And yet methinks the chivalry of the young gentlemen of the South should afford the young ladies adequate protection." u Protection /" exclaimed the old gentleman, " I abominate the word. It is hateful to all Southern ears. It has ruined the fair fields of the South. Protection indeed ! No, sir, we want no Tariff on our daughters." THE NULLIFIERS. 67 " At least, sir," said I, " not such an one, I should hope as would amount to a prohibition. That would be such a Tarj|ff as not even Yan- kees would agree to. But what finally became of your Connecticut pedler ?" " C e the fellow ! he sued me for false im- prisonment, and got a verdict of a hundred dol. lars damages, with costs. Upon this, I ordered my niggers to bind him neck and heels, tote him to the river, and throw him in headlong. Would you believe it ? tied up as he was, he swam like a duck, rolled himself up the bank and got away ; but the next court I was brought up to answer for the assault and battery, and cast in the sum of two hundred dollars more. I was careful how I meddled with the Yankee afterwards, and I have not seen him since. This was the last of my dealings with any of the race ; but my wife has been once or twice bitten by them since. It is not a month ago, that she purchased a beauti ful tortoise shell ctimb of one of them ; and having one day got caught in a shower, she found the comb had all dissolved, and it took three weeks to clear her hair of the sticky mass of glue, sugar, and gum arabic, out of which it was composed." I know not how long Mr. Harrington would 68 A YANKEE AMONG have gone on with his stories of Yankee tricks, had I not interrupted him by pressing my suit ; when he again fell into a furious passion, renew- ed his abuse of myself and all my countrymen, and finally ended with forbidding me his house. CHAPTER VIII. CONTTKIVE TO MEET THE YOUNG LADY AD MIRE HER POLITICAL SENTIMENTS. AM AT TACKED BY A RIVAL. " Stolen interviews," says Solomon or, what amounts to the same thing " stolen waters are sweet ;" and I am not so heterodox as to dispute what Solomon says. Indeed, I experienced the truth of that comfortable doctrine, in my- own case; for though forbidden the house by Mr. Harrington, I found means very frequently to see and enjoy the society of his daughter. Baf fled as were our wishes for the present, we nei ther of us thought that any thing was to be got by despair ; and we resolved unanimously, that the very worst method of gaining a cause, was, to abandon it. As for Henrietta, she won upon my admiration daily. Especially I could not help admiring her sentiments on the subject of the Union. We had many a long talk on this interesting topic ; and I need not say our sentiments were in per fect accordance. No two politicians ever agreed better. She was in favor of the Union, and so 70 A YANKEE AMONG was I. She wondered, as I gently pressed her hand, how any body could possibly be opposed to the Union. She did not indeed know what she might think on the subject, if she were a man ; but for her part she did not believe there were a dozen women in South Carolina but what were in favor of the Union. She could not see why the people of the South, should make such a fuss about protection. She was sure, whatever the gentlemen might think on the subject, every lady was in favor of it. I pressed her to my heart, and assured her she should never want for mine. As we were one evening sitting on the banks of the Santee, and engaged in these delightful discussions, I heard a heavy step approaching, and presently the souud of a man s voice, ex- claiming "Who dares advocate protection?" " Oh dear !" exclaimed Henrietta, as she sprang upon her feet at the sound " it is my cousin Harebrain s voice, and he will murder you ! He hates you because you run against him for Congres, aud because you are a Union man and because you and because I " "Never mind him, Henrietta," said I. He may hate me as much as he pleases 1 fear him not." THE NULLIF1ERS. 71 " The devil you don t !" exclaimed he in a fu rious voice, and standing plump before me, as I finished the last sentence. Resign the lady in stantly, or " " She is under my protection, sir." "D n your protection, and all other Tariffs. The lady is my cousin, and besides " " I care not, sir, if she were forty times your :ousin ; and as for any other claim you may have" "He has no other claim," said Henrietta , trembling and clinging to me " I hate him, and Pve told him so a thousand times." " All this exclaimed my furious rival, " is owing to your cursed Yankee tricks. You have poisoned the mind of my cousin. No woman whose affections were not bejugled, would ever think for a mo- rnent of listening too a poor devil of an adventur er, who but a short time since came to this state with a thread-bare coat, and without a penny in his pocket first a pedler of Latin and Greek, and now a pedler of law. Why I could purchase a hundred thousand such." " You may, said I cooly, for aught I know, have as much money as a hundred thousand such ; but you cannot purchase one." Saying this I was about to depart, with Henrietta under my 72 A YANKEE AMONG arm ; when he swore that, how much soever I might be in favor of protection, the presence of the lady should be none to me. As he said this, he raised a cane, which he had in his hand, to strike. " It is my part," said I, " to yield protection to the lady, and not to expect it from her." At the same time, seizing hold of the cane, I wrest ed it from his hand, and tossed it into the river. I was also about throwing him after it. I could have done so with great ease ; for notwithstand ing he was three inches taller than myself, and fifty pounds heavier, his frame was not so well knit, and his idle and luxurious Southern habits had not so well fitted him for the exercise of strength as my more industrious and sober No^ them ones. Indeed I was accounted no chicken, even at home, in the way of a rough-and-tumble, a back -hug, or a wrestle at arms length, where in I carried the ring against all my fellow-stu dents ; and at a dead lift I had few equals. Be sides, my rival was a Nullifier, and therefore no match for a Union man. But to return to my story I had fairly toted him, as they say here to the brink of the stream, and one second more, would have heard him plunging over head and ears in its dark tide ; for THE NULLIFIERS. *78 my passion for the moment had got the better of my philosophy. But Henrietta saved me from myself, and her cousin from a wet skin, if not from a worse fate. She seized hold of my arm ; she implored me to pause : her cousin was not fit to die, and;if he wanted washing he might get his blacks to do it; it was no business for a white man. Angry as I had been a moment be fore, I could not help laughing at this last argu ment. 1 1 set my antagonist on his feet again, and bade him, the next time he undertook to nullify a white man, to take somebody besides a Yankee. He made the best of his way home, muttering as he left us, that I should hear from him again, and in a way wherein my bodily strength would not avail me, as in the present instance. " He will challenge you," said Henrietta. " Let him challenge then," said I. " And then he will kill you," said she, " for he is a great shot, and has already fought five duels fi and killed three men." " Then," replied I, " I should have done him no more than justice, had I drowned him, as I was just now on the point of doing." " True," said she, " but there is little honor 74 A YANKEE AMONG in acting the part of an executioner, even though the criminal does deserve his fate. But what will you do in this case ? You are sure to be challenged, and then " Let me alone to answer it." "But you will not expose your life to a prac tised duelist ? " Would you not have me fight him then?" " Indeed I would not. I abhor the practice of duelling, and no consideration should ever induce me to marry a man who had been guilty of it. But I know you are principled against it. And then your life I am sure, that for my sake " " My dear Henrietta, said I, " have no appre hensions on my account, either as it regards my life or my principles. We Yankees know how to meet your Southern mad-caps, without haz arding either the one or the other." As I said this, we reached the foot of a short ayenue leading to the house ; and as she positive ly forbade my going a step farther, we made our adieus and parted for the night. CHAPTER IX. A CHALLENGE AN AFFAIR OF HONOR CON CLUDED IN A NEW WAY. ^ 7^ ^^.staiiJj I retired to my lodgings, and ruminated upon the events of the evening and their probable con- sequences. He will challenge me, past all doubt ; and I what must I do ? I revolved the subject till I fell fast asleep, and knew nothing more un- till, I was awakened in the morning by a step on the stair, and presently I beheld the woolly poll and sooty phiz ofmy man Tom, poking in at the door. " Well, Tom," said I, " is the sun up ?" " Yes, Massa," replied the black, " he up long time ago." " Long time ago ! How long is that?" " How long ? why, Massa Ellumwood, I should say ebber sence he ris." Tom was a round faced, smiling, faithful, good- natured imp ; and moreover had a spice of wit ; on which account, he had been indulged some what more than is in all cases expedient with people of his class and colour. "That is very probable, you imp of darkness," T6 A YANKEE AMONG said I, replying to his last observation " but how long may it be since he rose ?" " Why, he got up fore me, Massa. I sePom rise fore de sun, cause I tink it bad manners, j do, Massa Ellumwood. But de sun, he way up de sky now I open de shutter, den you see him for yourself, Massa." Accordingly he opened the shutters, and the sun was indeed far up the sky. , But what sent you into my room just now, Tom?" said I. " Has any thing happened?" " No happen, Massa, at all, only dere be gem- man below wish to speak wid you." " Why did nt you do your errand before, you woolly imp ?" " Cause I no see to do im Massa, fore de shut- ter open." "You re growing too impertinent, Tom. I must part with you. I must send you to Louis iana." " Oh, Massa Ellumwood! do nt part wid me! do nt send me to Lousyany, I beg on you ! I ll nebber be pertinent gin long as I lib, so yo^ .< keep me, Massa." "Well, go down stairs," said I, "and. tell the gentleman I ll be with him presently." THE NULLIFIERS. 7? " I threw on my clothes, and going below was presented with a challenge. It was brought by one Captain Flintock, nd ran thus: " To Elnathan Elmwood, Esq. SIR The insult you offered me last evening must be washed out with the blood of one of us. Either you or I must be nullified. The case ad mits of no protection. The Union of soul and bo dy, on one part or the other, must be dissolved. The chivalry of the South demands it. There fore meet me, at eight o clock to-morrow morn ing, on the spot where the outrage was offered, that the scene of your insolence may also be the place of your punishment. Yours &c. HAREBRAIN HARRINGTON." " Humph !" said I, as I finished this interest ing epistle " is the fellow tired of life, that he wishes for some person to do execution upon him 1 - and if so, is there no butcher in the neighbor hood, that he should send for me to perform that disagreeable office?" " Butcher !" exclaimed the Captain" do you take my friend, Major Harrington, for some brute, some four-legged animal, that is to be knocked on the head, or have his throat cut, af- 78 A YANKEE AMONG ter the vulgar manner of the beasts of the sham bles?" " Why, as to that, sir, " said T, " I have nev er learned the business of a butcher ; and wheth er it be a man or a calf that I am desired to kill, I am afraid I should make very awkward work of it." " Is this your answer, sir ?" said the Captain rising and taking his hat. " Why, sir," I replied, motioning him again to a seat, " I hardly know what other answer to re turn. For my own part, I am not yet sufficient ly tired of life, to throw it away ; and if I were, it is no ways certain that I should select Major Harebrain Harrington for my executioner. On the other hand, however much Major Harring ton may desire death, or however much he may think he deserves it and on this head I own he ought to be the best judge I see no reason why he should choose me above all other men to be his executioner. The Sheriff would answer bet ter. Nevertheless I am always ready to do a neighborly act, and especially where I can serve the public while I yield to the private wishes of my neighbor." " You will meet Major Harrington then, at the time and place mentioned, accompanied by your second?" THE NULLIFIERS. 79 "What need is there of a second? Cannot I do the business alone ?" " It is a matter of custom, sir. Every princi pal must be accompanied by a second." " Very well, sir, a second shall not be want- ing, nor a third neither if requisite." " A single one is sufficient You will be on the ground then, armed and prepared for the occasion ? " Never doubt it. I should however prefer a later hour. I can never tnink of transacting any important business before breakfast ; besides who knows but so disagreeable a job may spoil my ap petite ?" The hour of nine was finally agreed upon, and Captain Flintock departed. I now ordered Tom to procure a couple of axes and grind them sharp. " Wat you goin to do wid two axes, Massa f said the .black, showing the whites of his eyes as big as a couple of hen s eggs " sure Massa Ellumwoodno goin choppin wid em?" "Never mind, Tom. You get the axes, and put them in prime order." The negro did as he was commanded, and the next morning, punctual to the hour, I proceeded to the place of meeting, followed by Tom, with 80 A YANKEE AMONG the two axes on one shoulder and a chopping- block on the other. A great crowd of people were already assembled, as is not unusual here, to witness the duel, and see in what a genteel manner a South Carolinian would nullify a Yan kee. But when they saw my man Tom with the two axes and the chopping-block, they began to be above measure astonished ; and their wonder was still more increased when they heard me coolly order him to go back and bring a meat barrel and a half bushel of salt. A sort of half whispered inquiry ran throngh the crowd, as to what I intended to do with so strange an ap- parratus. " He surely aint a going to salt up his antago nist!" said one. " He looks as savage as a meat-axe," said another. " I ll lay a tin whistle to a dish of hominy/ 7 , said a Connecticut pedler, " that the Square beats /- the Major yet." " You be hanged with your tin whistles !" said a Southerner ; " Major Harrington, I d have you to know, is no baby, he is a whale on the trigger." " Ay, that he is," said another ; he s already THE NULLIF1ERS. 81 killed thirteen men in a duel, and crippled four- teen others." These observations, however, were pretty soon hushed by the appearance of the redoubta ble Major himself, followed by Captain Flintock, as his second. " I see you are on the ground, sir," said the Major ; " but where are your arms, sir, and your second ?" "Here are my arms, Major," said I pointing to the two axes ; and my second will be here pre sently, having returned for a meat barrel and a half bushel of salt." "Meat barrel! salt] axes!" exclaimed my enraged foe, in utter astonishment " what the devil do you mean, sir?" u Why, I mean," said I coolly, " that when ^ou are fairly dispatched, you should be salted down, like any other animal of your species, and not left a prey to the turkey-buzzards. We Yankees always study economy, and I thought I might dispose of you by the barrel for enough to pay the butcher s bill and other expenses." " Sir do you mean to add fresh insult to your former offence, sir ?" " Fresh ! oh no, sir, by no means ; I see my second is now here with the salt. 39 4* 82 A YANKEE AMONG "Your second!" exclaimed Captain Flintock, bristling up to me, furious as a game-cock. " Do you mean to insult me too, by bringing^that black devjl of yours as an offset to a white man ?" "I beg your pardon, Captain," said I ; "a man bas undoubtedly a right to choose his o.wn second ; or, as we say at the northward, his own help. Tom is an excellent handy fellow, though he is black, and will chop up a carcass in the least possible time. Now, gentlemen," contin ued I, addressing the two military men, u which of you will be salted first?" D n your Yankee soul !" said the Major, I came here to fight, and not to be made a laugh, ing-stock of. Here are a couple of pistols ; will you take your ground and fight like a gentleman ought to?" " 1 am on the ground, Major," asid I, " and here are my weapons a couple of as sharp axes as ever were put into flesh. As to pistols, Lord help me ! I never fired one in my life ; but I was accounted a very tolerable chopper when I was a boy ; and if you do not choose to be cut up pas sively, you are at liberty to take your choice of these axes, and try your hand with me at a chop ping bout. The one, that cuts up the other in the most expeditious and gentlemanlike manner, shall THE NULLIFIERS. 83 be allowed to have won the day. What say you to this, Major ?" " I say that you are an infamous scoundrel," returned the Major, lashing himself into a fury by the use of the most abusive epithets "you hav nt the least particle of honour about you you are a mean, contemptible, cowardly pol troon." " Cowardly !" said I ; " the imputation, sir, might as well attach to the other side, for I^have offered to engage you on fair terms, with a weap on which I happen to know the use of, while I am entirely ignorant of those same pistols on which you so much value yourself. Neverthe less, Major Harrington, I am not so particular as to the kind of weapon I use, if it only be one with which I am acquainted ; and therefore if it please you better, I will despatch my second for a couple of pitchforks, or scythes, or crowbars?" " Again I repeat," exclaimed the Major, " that you are a mean, contemptible, low-lifed, coward- ly poltroon a fellow that I would annihilate with as little remorse as I would a rattlesnake." " Nullify him ! nullify him !" roared several voices. "Hands off! hands off!" exclaimed others ^fair play s a jewel, the world over." 84 A YANKEE AMONG "D n the Yankee!" roard the first does he expect to chop up the chivalrous sons of the South like a parcel of mincemeat? Blow him through ! blow him through ? Shoot his Yankee gizard out." At this conjuncture my antagonist snatched one of the pistols from the hand of his second,, and was about levelling it at my head, when a voice exclaimed " Take care, Mister, how you handle that are shooting iron so possed careless,. or may be you ll hit somebody." At the same moment the arm of my foe was forcibly pulled down, and the pistol went off, discharging its con- tents into the leg of his second, the redoubtable Captain Flintock. The report of the pistol seem- to be the signal for a general engagement. The people had collected to see a fight, and they de termined there should be one, if they had it among themselves. They fell too therefore, and the Union party, though individually superior to the Nullifiers, would nevertheless, from their in feriority of numbers, have had the worst of it, had they not been joined by sundry of the latter wha were my personal friends and clients. As it was the adherents of the Major, in spite of what I could do to arrest the tumult, got pro-. THE NULLIFIERS. 86 digiously whipped ; and even the Major himself, together with his friend the Captain, retired from the field with black eyes and bloody noses. They had come there resolved upon Nullifcation; but not succeeding in that, they stood upon their Re* served Rights, and finally resorted to Secession. CHAPTER X. NEW TROUBLES IN THE CAMP OP |)UPID AND NEW CONTRIVANCES TO OBVIATE THEM. From the time of my recounter with Major Harrington, I was subjected to new difficulties in relation to his fair cousin ; who was now so strictly watched and guarded, that it required all a Yankee s ingenuity to maintain that intercourse which is so highly important in affairs of the heart. This additional restraint I had no doubt was owing to the kind offices of my enraged ri val, who if he could not win the lady him self, would naturally feel a malicious pleasure in defeating me. He had calculated upon the duebas an effectuaj method of ridding himself of a more fortunate rival. But he had reckoned, without his host. He had miscalculated the effect of Southern logic upon a Northern-man; and the result of our famous meet ing, had only exasperated him anew, and render ed him, if possible more hostile tham eve^ to my views, and more bitterly opposed to my union with his fair cousin. And since he could no t persuade me to submit my person to the opera tion of his pistol, in an honorable way, he endea. THE NULL1FIERS. 87 voured as far as he could to baffle my wishes in a dishonorable one, by using his influence against me with the father of the young lady. What I could not effect, however, by personal intercourse, I managed by paper and ink ; not precisely in the way of legal documents tho I had half a mind to issue a writ of habeas corpus but rather in the way of business 1 mean such business as f * Speeds the soft intercourse from soul to soul." I have by me sundry of the bills of exchange, which were issued about those days, and negoti ated by means of my man Tom, and Henrietta s woman, Dinah Phillis. These bills were sure to be honored at sight ; and never did any billet do me so much pleasure as a billet-doux from my adored mistress. Hers were certainly the fi. nest specimens of this kind of paper I ever saw at least I thought so at the time and I have lit tle doubt that the reader would think so too, if he could fairly get a sight of them. What the correspondence contained I will not say ; nor fcas the reader, as far as I can see, any right to be inquisitive on the subject. If he was ever in love, however, he make a shrewd guess at the probable contents; and if not why then 88 A YANKEE AMONG he would not understand them, even though he should be allowed a peep beneath seals. I am not certain but I proposed to Henrietta to elope. Indeed I now recollect that was the case, for I remember the manner in which she answered the proposal. Having used up her last sheet of paper, she inscribed the letter I on the rind of a cantelope which she sent me signify ing as I translated it, / cant elope. Let a woman alone for contrivance in a case of emergency. For my part, I might have rumaged among the musty papers of my office for a month, without ever thinking of such an expedient. I literally devoured this epistle. But the canZ-elope some how or other left a bitter sensation when it was down. I resolved to free the lady from durance vile. Sometimes I thought of storming the castle; sometimes of un dermining it ; then again of snapping the founda tion. But my habits are essentially pacific ; and I abandoned each of these projects in turn. I consulted my chief counsellor Tom, on the sub ject ; and we had actually devised a plan which seemed to promise success. But we might as well have spared our brains all this labor of plotting, for it turned out that the THE NULLIFIERS. 89 disability of my Henrietta s elopement was rath- er of a moral than a physical nature ; depend- ing on her sense of propriety, delicacy, and fil ial duty. Hence I should have translated the cant-elope to signify, I cant consent to elope. But such is the imperfection of writing by hyero- glyphics ! Being thus non-suited in my project of carry ing off the young lady, I had nothing to do but to wait patiently until some favorable change should take place in my prospects, either by a removal of the prejudices of Mr. Harrington, or by some unforseen arrangement of providence. Not that I believed myself so much a favorite of heaven, as that any special order should pass the court above for my sole accommodation; but it had often happened to me, that when oppress ed by poverty and overborne by misfortunes, I knew not which way to turn, a brighter day had unexpectedly dawned upon me ; and from almost the depths of despair, I had arisen anew to life and to hope. The feeling derived from these causes, might be one of superstition ; but never- theless it was a consoling one, and I could not, neither did I desire to, avoid cherishing it. CHAPTER XL A MANUFACTURING ESTABLISHMENT AT THE SOUTH ATTEMPTS TO NULLIFY IT GENER ALSHIP OF TIMOTHY TREADWELL. Among other means of softening, and finally of removing the prejudices of the South in rela tion to the encouragement of American industry, I had more than once thought the creation of a manufacturing interest in this region deserving of particular consideration. And as there is no want of mill seats in the higher parts of this and the neighboring States, and as the raw material of cotton is produced as it were on the spot, I wondered exceedingly that enterprising individ uals from the North, were not more ready to in vest their capitol in this quarter. I broached the subject to Colonel Peterson,, and was happy to find his views accorded with mine. Having a fine fall of water, on a small stream that empties into the Santee, he proposed to me to join him in erecting a cotton factory he to furnish the capitol, and I to aid him in my Yan kee knowledge and enterprise. To be sure, I knew nothing of the business we were going THE NULLIFIERS. 91 about ; but I had come from a manufacturing district, and therefore must needs be a fit person to direct the undertaking. But more than all this, I believe the Colonel who had never ceased to be my friend and patron from the time I firs* set foot in South Carolina, secretly designed ra" ther to promote my advantage than his own. A Yankee is supposed to know at least a little of every thing, and to be ready to turn his hand to any business or project which holds out the hope of acquiring wealth. From a farmer s boy I had become a school-master ; from a school- master, a lawyer; and it would not now be in character to refuse to become a manufacturer. I did not design however, to lay my law aside ; but to go on pleading causes, while my looms went on making cloth. In a word I accepted the proposal of my friend Peterson, and the cotton factory was built. By my advice, a practical manufacturer, from the Bay State, was engaged to superintend the con cern. Timothy Treadwell was a shrewd Yan kee, who understood every part and parcel of the trade, not only of manufacturing cotton cloth, but also of making the machinery, wherewith the cloth was to be manufactured. As for the ope ratives, they were mostly taken from the planta- 92 A YANKEE AMONG tion of Colonel Peterson ; and though their ne gro awkwardness at first spoiled many a pound of good cotton, and marred in prospect many a yard of excellent cloth, yet after a while they be gan to improve in their operations, and the fac tory as Mr. Treadwell said, worked like oil. He had, however, one objection to the African operatives, to wit : a certain inalienable odor, which exhaled from their sooty skins, and to obvi ate which, he insisted upon it, that the rooms should be pufrified three times a day with some powerful neutralising agent ; and he finally, af ter many experiments, contrived, and obtained a patent for, an invention, which was to cure the native smell, and which he called the Anti-Afri can-Odor-Gas-Generator to convey by means of tin pipes, the purirfcing and sweetning agent, through every part of the building. Our operations excited a world of wonder among our neighbors ; and various were the ob servations and remarks. At first they laughed at the Colonel and myself for a couple of noodles, to think of introducing a manufacturing concern into the chivalrous South. "No, no !" said they, " our workshops should be on the other side of the Atlantic. At all events, if they must be suffered in this country, it should THE NULLIFIERS. 93 be only on the other side of the Potomac. They should never be allowed to offend the eyes of Southern gentlemen." There was for some time a good deal of spec ulation, among our more ignorant neighbors, as to what sort of goods we intended to manufac ture. Some said it was to turn out wooden nut megs ; others, bass-wood pumpkin seeds ; others, tin side-saddles ; and others again, wooden clocks; while a fifth class swore roundly that it was to be a tariff manufactory. Such were the observations while the factory was erecting ; and the project was treated with contempt, as one that mnst assuredly fail, and not only expose its undertakers to great loss, but to perpetual ridicule. The concern, however, was no sooner in successful operation, than the enraged nullifiers began to try what they could do to impede its progress. Sundry attempts were made to set it on fire ; others, to blow it up with gunpowder ; and others, to stop its progress by kidnapping the workman. But all these attempts were baffled by the remarkable foresight and vigilance of Timothy Treadwell, our able and skilful superintendant. The last attempt made on our concern, wa* some time after my famous meeting with Major 94 A YANKEE AMONG Harebrain Harrington, who finding I would not consent to be honorably shot, took advantage of ofthe prevailing prejudices of the people against our factory, to attempt to nullify me through my interest in that concern. This was an open at- tack of some sixty men, club in hand, with the redoubtable Major at their head. But here again, our factotum, Mr. Tread well, was too many for them. Colonel Peterson would fain have had the mob dispersed with the use of a little cold lead. " No," said Mr. Tread well " a little cold wa ter will do better. The lead will like enough kill the tarnal critters." " But you don t expect," said the Colonel " to disperse a mob of sixty men with a litlle cold water !" " But I do though, returned the superinten- dant. " Only leave that to me. A soon as their plaguy nullification blood is once cooled a little, they will disperse as quiet as lambs. Accordingly Mr. Treadwell, ordered a power ful fire engine, which he had constructed with his own hands for the use of the factory to be manned ; arid directing the nozzle of the pipe through a window, like a cannon at port hole, he aimed directly at the Major s face, and struck him with such force, that he fell flat on his back at the first shot. THE NULLIFIERS. 94 He c.tied out that he was a dead man ; that he felt the warm life blood running cold over his bo som ; and desired that I would come to him, that he might beg my forgivness, for having plotted * against my life, my peace, and especially against L, my union with Henrietta. As soon as the leader was thus overthrown, the pipe of the engine was directed against the fa ces of his followers, who fell in like manner ; un til fifteeen of them being laid flat on their backs the rest threw down their clubs and ran as if Sa tan were at their heels. Never was so great, and at the same time, so bloodless, a victory gain ed in so short a time. The Nullifiers, as fast as they found themselves alive, arose and sneaked away one by one ; and Mr. Timothy Treadwell, in consideration of his eminent services, was dub bed Captain on the spot. CHAPTER XII. THE OLD WOMAN or THE STAGE COACH. If, as somebody or other says, poverty makes us acquainied with strange bed-fellows, so travel ling in a stage coach oftentimes brings us ac quainted with a most singular set of beings and this, like poverty, whether we will or no. Sitting cheek-by-jole,or face to face, we must perforce be sociable ; and yet, like cats shaken together in a bag, we can scarcely at times avoid a little clap perclawing. We are packed together with bi peds of all sorts, from politicians to parrots," from " pretty Poll" to prating Peggy. There are quadrupeds too, aad the lapdog is often the least annoying puppy of the company. There are snuff- takers and tobacco chewers ; there are coughers and spitters Genius of Mrs. Trollope ! what a medley. And yet, making allowance for all (he evils of " stage travelling, there is no little amusement and even knowledge to be extracted from a situation of this kind ; and a wise and prudent man, who I take it also a good natured one, instead of Quar relling with the evils, will make the best he can of THE NULLIFIERS. 97 the palliating ingredients with which they may chance to be mixed. Had it not been for stage travelling, I proba bly never should have had the honor of meeting with the most remarkable character in the world, Mrs. Trollope excepted. Like the latter, she had the reputation of being a book-maker and a tourist ; and, like her also, of dipping her pen in to the very sediment of her ink, when writing of those who were so very unfortunate as not to have acquired her esteem. Take her for all in all, I certainly never met with her like before. To a very short person and a face drawn up by age, she added a fierce ness of spirit and a freedom of manners peculiar to herself. Her countenance might not unaptly be compared to a dried grape ; but she did not, like that fruit seem to have been at all sweetened by the drying process. The length of her tongue was in the inverse ratio to that of her person ; and if the latter was withered, the former gave evidence of abundant moisture, judging from the quantity of venom it spit. Yet, ascertain tart and aci id substances are ca pable of being improved by a saccharine mix ture, so this sharp old lady might be materially softened by the sugar of flattery ; and even the S8 A YANKEE AMONG coarsest would serve her turn the. sand, the sawdust, and other impurities, being swallowed with the rest. People who are fond of flattery, are exceedingly apt to be imposed upon ; and shrewd and sharp as was the LITTLE OLD WO MAN OF THE STAGE COACH, she had more than once, as I was informed, been sadly hoaxed. She seemed to fancy herself a sort of Jupiter in petticoats ; as holding in her hands the desti nies of those whom she chose to honor with her presence ; and as being endowed with power to confer a blessing or a ban, according as they treated her with regard, or otherwise. And this fancy of hers, had been confirmed by certain wags, who", for their own sport, had encouraged the self deception of the little old lady. This singular personage, I was told, like the mysterious Peter Rugg, had been seen, for seve ral years past, continually journey iug from one part of the country to the other ; sometimes in the east and sometimes in the west ; sometimes in the north and sometimes in the south. She had formed^ part of the burden of every stage coach, and become the guest of every inn on every principal road in the Union, She had vis- ited every editor, scolded every landlord, abused every priest, and flattered every person that flat- THE NULLIFIERS. 99 tered her, from one end of the country to the other. Some supposed her to be the Wandering Jew, disguised as a female and more especially as she seemed to have a peculiar liking for the Is raelites. Others believed her to be one of the Weird Sisters, and averred that, upon occasion, she had been seen coursing the air on a broom stick, instead of riding in a stage coach parti cularly when the roads were impassable. Others said she was a Salamander, in proof of which, they adduced the wonderful fieriness of her dis position. Others, again thought her a personin. cation of the Perpetual Motion. But whatever she might be, all parties agreed in one thing, that the sight of her, was more horrifying than that of old Nicholas himself. It was generally believed she could never die. Some said she was immortal by nature ; others, that she had got the " dry wilt," and therefore would live forever. It was averred, that, from the time she was first seen journeying to and fro, she had never been perceived to grow older, to lose any part of her activity, or to be softened aught in the terrible vigor of her spirit. The hard rubs she had met with, it was said, had af. fected no change in her not so much as even to 100 A YANKEE AMONG have rubbed off the sharp points and corners which had been found so excessively annoying to those with whom she had come in contact. Horrifying as was the sight of the Little Old Woman of the Stage Coach, she was neverthe less an object of great curiosity in the towns and villages through which she passed : for even if Old Nicholas himself were to travel the coun try in his most formidable sbape, people would feel an irresistble curiosity to take a peep at his brimstone majesty since such is the disposition of mankind, that any out-of-the-way thing, whether it be very pleasing or very revolting, at tracts equal attention. It was the extraordinary being whom I have thus endeavoured to describe, that I happened to have for a stage companion in one of my profes sional journies. We were seated face to face ; nay, we were obliged to mingle feet with feet, in the usual manner in which the understandings of peo ple are thrust together, in those villanously short vehicles, yclept stage coaches. Face to face, and feet to feet, with such a personage ! What a situation ! I can, if needful, browbeat a witness, face down a lawyer, and look a judge out of coun tenance ; but to be placed hi the situation I was, with the terrible Little Old Woman of the Stage THE NULLIFIERS. 101 Coach, and the prospect of continuing in that position for half a day together it required all my Yankee philosophy and all rny lawyer-like brass, even to think of it with any degree of com- posure. I was scarcely well seated, when she opened upon me with a self-introduction. " I am MRS. GOFURY," said she, " though for that matter I need nt take the trouble to inform you, for my celebrity is such that every body in the universe knows me, or ought to know me, without an introduction." " Certainly, madam," said I, with a very low bow, " every body is acquainted with the reputa tion of the celebrated Mrs. Gofury the thunder bolt of America, the severest castigator of the age, and the most unscrupulous censor of men and manners since the days of Horace and Juvenal ; and certainly your person is too remarkable, to be for a single moment mistaken for that of any other personage whatever." "Very well said, young man," she replied with an air of satisfaction at the depth of plaister I had laid on but the next moment contracting her brows and compressing her lips, she added in a sharp voice, "but if you was so perfectly well aware in whose presence you sat, how did it 102 A YANKEE AMONG happen, sir, that you took no more notice of me than if I had been a vulgar, every-day woman ? Answer me that, Mr. Trinculum or whatever your name is?" Here I found I had got myself on one horn of a dielemma, by my ready admission of her un concealed and unconcealable celebrity ; and yet I must have fallen on the other horn, had I avow ed any sort of ignorance or doubt as to the re nowned personage before me. I endeavored to extricSte myself as well as I could. " True, madam," said I, " you speak most sagely and judiciously. The only reason I did not address you first, was, the unbounded respect with which your name, your presence, and your severe virtues impressed me." "You re a modest young man," said she, brightening into something like a smile, " and I like you the better for it. You know what is due to talents and renown. I perceive you are a man of merit, and I ll take you under my spe cial patronage. I ll make your name known from end of the Union to the other, if you ll fa vour me with it." Saying this, she took out her tablets, which were covered over with shocking black lines, and prepared to write. Now might I have been rendered immortal on THE NULLIFIERS. 103 the very easiest terms ; and I need not have writ- ten this book to let the world know, that at such a time and such a place, on the banks of the San- tee, there lived and flourished such a person as Elnathan Elmwood, Esquire. But modesty, which has stood in the way of many a better man, prevailed, and I, very respectfully, replied " my name is of no consequence, madam." " Well, name or no name," said she, " you are the only real gentleman and sensible man I have met with in a dog s age. You Yankees I know you re a Yankee by the cut of your jib You Yankees, when you are gentlemen, are first rate." I bowed thrice for this compliment, and the Little Old Woman went on. "As for the South," continued she, "almost the only polite gentlemen are the turkey-buz zards. They bow to me bobbingly as I pass, and always treat me with civility which is more than I can say of the other bipeds. Of all black coats, give me a crow, or a turkey-buzzard. From this, she took occasion to attack a gentle man in black who sat in one corner of the car riage calling him a rascally priest, with other hard names. " Y ou are mistaken, ma am," said the gentle- 104 A YANKEE AMONG man in sables < I am Belzebub, your near re- lation." " Then to Belzebub with you," sjmalled the old lady " I was sure you must be some brim stone character or other. I wash my hands of all such relationship." Finding his joke thus thrown back upon him self, the gentleman seemed to recollect that dis cretion was the better part of valor, and to resolve thereafter to continue silent The next person, who ventured to measure tongues with the Little Old Woman, was a medi cal graduate. " Madam," said he, " I am about publishing a work on the LINGUAL LONGITUDINALS, and should like to know the length of your tongue. " Hoity-toity ?" exclaimed the old woman, " so, you ve broken out in a new place have you, Doctor Pillpenniwinkle. As torny tongue, you ll find it long enough before you ve done with me ; and for the length of your ears, that is too appa rent to be a matter of doubt to any body. You a son of xEscuiapius ! Iwould nt trust you to physic my dog." In this manner Mrs. Gofury silenced the guns ofher adversaries, whilst a constant and thunder ing report was kept up from her own. If she THE NULLIFIERS. 105 could not vanquish by superior gunnery, she was certain to do it by the greater frequency and more determined perseverance of her shots. It would be long, even if I could recollect it, to relate the discourse of that memorable occasion ; which after a few rapid shots pro and con, was all on one side. In a word Mrs. Gofury had it all to herself exemplifying in the most effectual manner that words could do, the practical result of Nullification. We parted company at the first village Mrs. Gofury, the gentleman in black, and the medical graduate taking one road while the five other passengers together with myself took another. This was the last and only time I ever met with the Little Old Woman of the Stage Coach ; but since that time, I am credibly informed, she has entirely dried up and evaporated, all except her tongue. CHAPTER XIII. A MEETING OF BLACK POLITICIANS CJSSAK JOHNSON S SPEECH ON NULLIFICATION. Mr. Harrington was still as bitterly opposed as ever to my union with his daughter, and my ma trimonial prospects remained in statu quo ; when an event happened in the neighborhood, which having apparently no connexion with my private interests or personal concerns, was nevertheless calculated to have a material effect on both. Returning one evening from an unsuccessful attempt to see my Henrietta, I heard a loud shouting in one of the negro huts on the planta tion of Mr. Harrington ; and catching, as I thought, here and there a word on the great to pic, which I knew absorbed nearly alt the thoughts and feelings of the white population ; and having a curiosity to know what these untu tored blacks could find to say on the subject, I drew near to listen. I found there was a meeting of woolly politic ians, and that the subject of discussion, excited no iittle interest. " Fullah ! fullah !" shouted the whole assembly, as a favorite o THE NULLIFIERS. , 7 107 This was no less a man than Csesar Johnson, a tall, stout, middle aged negro, with a command- ing presence and a dignity of mien, that seemed to insure him the respect and attention of his fel low slaves. " You know berry well, gemmen," said he, ^ dat all mankine bin born free and equal. Na- tur teach you dat reasum teach you dat de Conseltutium teach you dat. You feel it in eb- ery fibre o your skin in ebery pore o your flesh in ebery narve o your marrer in ebery tought, and feeiin, and sensatium o your whole mortal soul and body, from de tip eend o your little finger to de ball o your great toe, and from de crown o your foot to de sole o your head. Now spose your head be cubber wid wool, and your foot be flat on de bottom like a hoe-cake, and your skin be brack as de ace o spades, and your lip be tick as the corn-cob and your shin be crooked as a rainbow I don t lude to you, Cuffee, in tickular nor you, Sambo nor you, Pompey but I say spose all dese mis- fortums do tach to us gemmon o color, is any reasum why we no born free and eqnal to any odder man, whedder Jibing -or dead? " Wait gemmen, till I get trough fore you spress any compinium. Sambo, shet up your feig mouf at two motiums, if you please. I nw 108 A YANKEE AMONG like de plause clappin o hands, and de stompir? o feet, wile a gemman is speaking. It break de train o him s idees, and put him out o place, so he forgit what he goin to say in de middle o ? he speech. No pulogy, Sambo you keep your mouf shet, dat all I ax o you. "Now you know bery well, gemman, dat if all mankine bin born free and equal, den it foller of course dat all mankine should lib free and equal : dat all should hab de same infeasible right to de fruise of de earf to de corn to de bacon to de hoe-cake to de seet tater to de water mellon to de fine cloze and abub all de whiskey and to ebery odder fruise of de earf, whedder he grow spontanemously, or whedder he come by cultivatium, or whedder, second and lastly, he be manufacter out of a man s hand. All dis, gem- men, I take to be soun argificaium,pendinon de natur and reasum of tings, and no to be ober. trow at all. " Sush bein,de case, I would ax you, gem- men but I don t speck you to answer me I say f I would ax yoi, how it happen dat one man hab a silver spoon in his mouf, anodder man a wooden one, and anodder man hab no spoon at all ? And again I would ax youdiow it happen dat one man, cause he hab a wite skin, a tin lip, a trait shin? THE NULLIFIERS. 109 and no wool on de head, should do noffin all day but ride in he coach, wear fine cloze, and eat and drink de bess of ebery ting, wile de poor African, cause of his bodily misfortums, must work, work all day, from mornin till night neber wear fine cloze never eat good vittel hab only a peck o corn a week and be flog inde bargain? gosh amighty ! why should all dis be ? " I see,gemmen, de big tear stan in your eye I see him trittle down your cheek in large drops, one follerin todder, and todder comin arter dat I see your breass heave I see your lip quiber I see you blush wid indignatium I see your whole frame agitrate like de trong waves o de salt sea. But I no wish to move you, gemman I no wish to cite your trong feelins ; but I would dress you in de cool langrage o soun rea- sum, and solemn argificatium, and prove dat we sons of Africa, bein born free and equal, cordin to the natur of tings and de Conseltutium of dese Unitum States, hab rights as well as any man in dis breavin worl, whoeber he be. " Now, gemmen, wat mus we do ? I ax phati- cally wat mus we do ? Don t all speak at once. Don t you open your mouf, Cato, till I m done ; den you shall hab an opperchance to spress your compinium and you too, Pompey. At present you keep your mouf shet. 110 A YANKEE AMONG "Once more I ax you, gemman, wat mus we do in dis perdicklement? Mus we submit foreb- er and a day ? Mus we dure dis state of tings ? Mus we work like dog for oder men, and no en joy de fruise of our own labor? " I ax agin, gemmen, wat mus we do in dis perdicklement 1 Wy, I will tell you wat we mus do we mus Nullify ay, gemman, we mus Nul- lifly. Wat make you show de wite o your eyes in dat manner, Cuffy ? Wat make you stare so, Sambo? Did you neber hear o ? Nulliflicatium afore, Den it s full time you did. Did you neb- er hear o Gubenor Hamlinton, and Curnil Hayne, and Misser McDuffle, and Docker Croo- per, and Misser Clouhne, and all de great men in Souf Carolina? Sure you hab. Well now, gem- men, all dese great men wat you tink o dem, ha ? You tink dey all Nulliffiers ? Den, for once in your life, you tink right. " Now, gemmen, I spose you don t know de meanin of de word. Well, I mus splain myself den. A Nulliflier be a man wat does cisely as he please, and no tanks to nobody. He neider obey law nor consultutium. He neider pay tax, nor sport Guberment, nor submit to any man, whoeber he be.. In a single word, gemmen, de Kulliflier is de mps independant man in de whole THE NULLIFIERS. Ill worl. Wateber he don t like, he Nullifly. One State, he Nullifly ^|e whole Unitum States ; one , County, he Nullifly de whole State ; one leetle Town, he Nullifly de Whole County ; one wite gemmen, he Nullifly de whole town ; and one brack gemman, he Nullifly look Sambo, and see dat no wite man is listnin I tought I see a wite face peakin trough de winner jes now. Is nobody dere ? praps twas merely de ghose of my maginatium. Be sure nobody dere? Well den de brack man Nullifly de wite one. "Yes, gemmen, we mus stan on our %arve rights. Wat ! shall de sassy wite man Nullifly the Guberment ? and shall not we, de color men, Nullifly de wite one ? W T at has Guberment done to Misser McDuffle, and Curnil Hyane, and Dock er Crooper, and all de ress of de Nullifliers, com pared wid wat dese same Nullifliers have done to us? Has de Guberment take away deire li berty ? Has de Guberment eat up all de bacon, and de hominy, and de hoe-cake, and de seet ta- ter, wat de Nullifliers make ? Has de Guber ment strip em to de skin and flog em as dey zarve, wid a cat o -nine-tails ? Neber. And yet, gemmen, dey nullifly de Guberment. And wat* I ax you, should hinner us from Nullifly in de Nullifliers. 112 A YANKEE AMONG " But mark me, gemmen, I would ut vise you to do any ting rash. Keep cool, and in dat way we get de vantage ober de hot headed wite men, whose brain all afire like a blazin tar barrel. Yes, gemmen, I again devise you, do noffln rash, but when de oberseer, he order you to go to work in de mornin, merely fole up your hans and stan on your zarve rights. Dis is a peaceable remery ; and sure as you lib it will pose him. Den, spose he offer to flog you, or raise a han to make you work, take to your heel and run as if de dibble was arter you, Dis, if I no mistake de word, gem" men, de Nullifliers call de right of Fleesessium. " Dus far, you perceive, de remery is altoged- er a peaceable one. But de moment de oberseer, or any odder white man, tempt to fesh yon back agin, den de fault is deir own den de war begins on deir side, and dey mus take de consequence." "Now, gemmen," concluded Caesar, "I hab finish my speech, and you may spress your com- .*- pmi&m. Now is de time for you clap your hans and stomp your feet, and cry fullah ! if you see any ting in wat J said zarvin your plause and ammiration." This permission was no sooner granted, than the walls rang again with admiring plaudits ; and " Fuliah ! fullah J.fullah !" and " Tree times tree !" THE NULLIFIERS. 113 resounded in a manner to shame any white caucus I ever had the honor of attending. A sharp contest now arose to see who should next have the floor. One party bawled for Ca- to Clump, and another insisted upon hearing Pompey Crookshin. Which of these orators fi nally succeeded in keeping the floor, I did not stay long enough to ascertain, being fully satis fied with the speech of Caesar, as a clear exposi tion of the objects of the meetiug, as well as a very lucid and irrefragable argument in favour of Nullification. CHAPTER XIV. UNFORTUNATE COMMENCEMENT OF A PEACE ABLE REMEDY. ..RESORT TO SECESSION. Had not Caesar Johnson declared in positive terms, to his coloured associates, that his propo sed remedy was perfectly a peacable one, I should have felt it my duty to have apprised Mr. Har rington and the neighboring planters of what I had accidently overheard ; or at least, to have put them on their guard against the machinations of their slaves. But as it was expressly declar ed by the mouthpiece of the meeting, that no vio lence was intended, unless it should be provok ed by a forcible opposition to the peacable reme dy, I determined not to intefere between the white and black Nullifiers ; but to let the merits of the new doctrine be fairly brought to the test of experience. Leting blood is sometimes the only efficient remedy for the ravings of a lunatic. But I con fess I had no desire to see so sanguinary a cure adopted for the prevailing madness of the South ; and especially to see the instruments of phleboto- THE NULLIFIERS. 115 my, in the hands of infuriated slaves. But the first trial of the new doctrine by the blacks, I felt assured would be rather ludicrous than bloody; and as to its after consequenses, it was plain that they might be foreseen in time to provide against them. That certain of the slaves, were plotting against the interests of their masters, was pretty evident. Indeed, so openly was the meeting held, of which I accidently became a witness, that nothing less than the all-absorbiug topic, which seemed to swallow np the whole attention of their masters, could have prevented its being noticed by the whites. But so engaged were they in preparing to nullify the laws of the Uni ted-States, that they had no suspicion whatever of the plot that was brewing among their slaves to nullify them. Not having witnessed the conclusion of the sa ble meeting, I had no idea how soon its members intended to make trial of their peacable remedy ; and I was somewhat surprized on hearing the next morning that the slaves of Mr. Harrington, and those of sundry other planters had absolute ly refused to work. The first news 1 had of this was from my negro 116 A YANKEE AMONG Tom, who came running into my office in breath- jess haste and exclaiming, " Massa, massa, de Nullifliers ! de Nullifliers !" " The Nullifiers !" said I, " well what of them?" " Why, massa, dey play de dibble and turn up Jack." " The deuce they do ?" said I. " and who are the Nullifiers that you speak of?" " Oh, eber so many color man. In de first place, dere s Cxsar Johnson, and Cato Clump, and Pompey Crookshin and Cuffee Brown, and Sambo White, and eber so many more black nig gers, dat won t do a single troke o work." " What s the reason they won t work ?" said I, feigning ignorance of the cause. Why, massa," said Tom looking rather puz zled and scratching his woolly head," I no zackly understan em myself; but I blieve tis some maggit dey got in deir heads about sarved rights, andand, some oder crinkum crankums, and fly blows, dat make em all crazy. I no understan ? em, no how, massa. " But where did you get all this news, Tom ?" " I get em mostly from Dinah Phillis, massa." " And where did Dinah get it ?" "Why, massa she see de niggers would nt THE NULLIFIERS. 117 work. Den dey git flog, and den Dinah she come here to tell me all about it." " Then they got floged, did they ?" " Yes massa, de nigger-driver, he tie em up a tree, and flog em all round." " That must be a day s work, Tom." " Yes, massa, bad day s work dat" " A bad day s work ! how so ?" " Cause it make em feel bad." " Makes who feel bad ?" "De niggers, massa." " What would you have done with em then ?" " Don t know, massa, Bad business bad busi ness. First deir massas put de maggtt in deir noodles bout Nullification ; den dey flogs em cause de maggit bite." There was certainly some colour of justice in this rather sarcastic reflection of Tom s ; but having no desire to encourage insubordination, I told him to go about his business, and not to make to free with the character of white gentle men. In the course of the day I visited some of the plantations where the doctrines of Reserved Rights and Nullification had begun to operate. Cisar Johnson s peaceable remedy, brought little 118 A YANKEE AMONG peace either to him or his coadjutors. The more feeble-minded or less obstinate, indeed, yielded to the argument of the lash, and returned to their duty ; but the more resolute of purpose and the more determined believers in Nullification, among whom were the leaders of the party, and they were only released when the hands of the opera tor were weary of applying the lash. Night brought a cessation to their troubles. The first part of their favorite remedy had been tried ; and to their sore grief, was found to op erate more severely against themselves than their masters. Fearful of, being utterly nulli fied, if they should persevere in their former mode of proceeding, they resolved forthwith to Recede. A secret council was called ; and mea sures taken for immediate action. Corn-cribs and smoke-houses were broken open and robbed, hen-roosts were plundered ; and such provisions as they would hastily collect, were got together for their march. They were also provided with some rude weapons of defence. Thus provisioned and equipped, Cxsar John son, Cato Clump, Pompey Crookshin and their coadjutors, consisting of about fifty males, and about half as many females, abandoned their huts THE NULLIFIERS, 119 to make further trial of their peaceable remedy ; and, before the morning light, had made such use of their legs, as to render null and void all im mediate pursuit. CHAPTER XV. FIRE AND SLAUGHTER, BLOOD AND RAPINE- BATTLE OF THE CANE-BRAKE---A VlCTORY IN MORE RESPECTS THAN ONE. The next day after the secession of Caesar John- son and his coadjutors, it was noised abjoad that a great revolt had taken place among the slaves. Rumor, with her hundred tongues, was busy; and, as she is wont, did not fail to exaggerate prodi giously. .Some accounts said, all the blacks in the State had risen ; others, that the insurrection was confined to a single district ; others, that the number of insurgents was not above three thou sand ; while others again were content to limit them to one thousand. But it was generally agreed that their acts were awfully bloody and destructive ; that they were carrying fire, and sword, and rapine, wher ever they went ; that they plundered houses, and then burnt them ; that they first slaughtered the white people, and then like cannibals, ate them. Caesar Johnson, it was averred, was seen to de vour alive three little children for his break fast. THE NULLIFIERS. 121 Where all these atrocities were enacted, how ever, nobody seemed fairly to understand. In fact nobody could tell where the insurgents were. But they were somewhere about, and that the atrocities described were enacted, and still enact ing, was fully believed. Some said they were here, some there, and some in another place. In short, a great many extravagant things were re ported and believed respecting poor Csesar and his handful of Nullifiers ; but very little was cer tainly known concerning them. That the negroes had arisen, and that some means must be devised to put them down, seem ed to be the only things agreed upon. But in re lation to those means, people differed almost as much as in their estimates of the nature and ex- lent of the danger. Some thought the entire mi litia of the State should be called out; others deemed that twenty thousand men would be abundantly sufficient for the emergency, provid ed they were well officered and equipped; others thought that ten thousand would do, and that a couple of volunteer corps of five thousand each one to be calvary and the other infantry, would subdue the blacks in a very short time. Others said, they would not depend on infantry and calvary alone ; but should raise a corps oi 122 A YANKEE AMONG artillery. There was again another party, who professed to ridicule the fears of all the rest ; and declared that the very idea of raising an army to put down a few hundred niggers, was a disgrace to the chivalry of the South. "One thousand good mounted men, said they, will in a week s time, cut to pieces every insurgent nigger in the whole state. From the nature and magnitude of the danger and the necessary means of arresting it, observa tions next began to be made on the probable cause of the insurrection. One said it was ow ing to the d d Yankees, who were always meddling with the slave question ; and that they had stirred up the blacks to cut their masters throats. Another ascribed it to the Quakers, who had no more sense than to be opposed to slavery from principle ; and who were constantly using their sneaking endeavors for the emancipation of the whole human race. A third, laid it to the Colonization Society, who, he said, were led on by Henry Clay, John Quincy Adams, and Chief Justice Marshall, to overthrow, break down, and j pervert the entire order of things in the South. A fourth, and of course a Nullifier, would have it that the Union party were at the bottom of all this mischief; and he adduced, what he con- THE NULLIFIERS. 123 sidered an unanswerable argument, to prove his position ; to wit, that it was only the slaves of the Nnllifiers that had revolted, while all those of the Union men kept quietly about their business. This last argument, which it seems had not oc curred to every body, was considered to have much weight, and the suspicions of the Nullifiers began to settle very decidedly upon the Union men. The fact, as stated by the last speaker, to whatever cause it might be owing, was found on examination to be verified. Why it should so happen in every instance, is certainly a matter somewhat difficult to comprehend. That the re- volted blacks had caught the mania of Nullifica tion from their masters, is perfectly evident ; but why the contagion should not in some instances have spread to the slaves of the Union party I know not ; unless it were among the just decrees of fate, that the bitter chalice should be especial ly commended to the lips of those who had so rashly prepared it. But the Union men did not bear the accusation of their opponents in silence. They retorted by declaring the truth. They ascribed to the right cause to wit, the Nullifiers themselves the in surrection of their too apt scholars, the Nullify- < 1 24 A YANKEE AMONG ing slaves. They showed this to be no other than a necessary consequencee of the new doc- trine, and but a beginning of the many evils like ly to arise from it. However, said they, to prove to you the more fully that we had no agen^ cy in exciting the revolt, we will freely aid you in putting it down, and in saving you as far as we are able, from the consequences of your own folly and madness. It was no time for disputes and recriminations, and both parties set to work in earnest to sup- press the revolt. But in order to put down the blacks, it was necessary to ascertain where they were. Having seceded in the dead of night, no- body knew whether they had gone, or could th. ow any light on the subject. Diligent inquiry was now set on foot, not only to ascertain their position, but likewise their probable numbers. In regard to the first, suc cess was not easily to be attained. A party of men, after scouring the country for several miles round, returned as wise as they went. Other parties were sent out with the like success ; no- thing could be sern or heard of the insurgents. In regard to their numbers, however, it was pret ty soon ascertained that the reports had been prodigiously exaggerated. The Nullification THE NULLIFIERS. 125 mania had as yet spread to the blacks of but a few of the plantations, and of the slaves who had been originally attacked, many had been cured, as before mentioned, by the use of the lash. The truth being ascertained by actual exami nation, the fears of the people began very much to subside. The raw heads and bloody bones, which they had conjured up in their alarmed im aginations, presently vanished away. It even began to be seriously doubted whether a single murder had been committed, or a single house laid in ashes. Some of the planters indeed mis sed their bacon, their corn, and their fowls. Some agricultural implements had also disappeared, such as axes, hoes, scythes, and the like. A few guns were likewise missing; but neither powder, ball, shot, nor any other ammunition seemed to have gone with them. That the blacks intended to fight, however, in case of necessity, appeared altogether probable. Poorly provided as they were with the munitions of war, they would not be likely to yield without a struggle. The very nature of the case seem- A, ed to indicate that fighting must be the final re sort. The guns also showed that such a result was contemplated, though in the hurry and per turbation of their escape, the negroes had forgot- 126 A YANKEE AMONG ten the ammunition. The axes, the scythes, and other implements, might likewise be used as wea pons of defence. Though the number, therefore, of the insur gents was small, it was deemed absolutely neces sary to employ arms against them, as soon as the place of their retreat should be found.. Not only were they to be subdued by force, but to be made an example of for a warning to others to be shot down, killed and cut to pieces, for the benefit of their sable brethren at home. Such was the sanguinary advice of certain of L the Nullifiers, who thought the chivalry of the South could not be maintained without the de struction of these mis-guided blacks. Others still more cold and cruel, though they should be captured alive, and afterwards put to death with tortures. But, on the whole, more gentle counsels prevailed, and certainly more prudent ones for a dead negro is of no value to the plan ter, while a live one will fetch from three to five hundred, and sometimes a thousand dollars. But it was perfectly idle to debate on the ways and means of subduing and disposing of the slaves before it was known where they were to be found. Several days of unavailing search had been kept up, and no signs of them appear- THE NULLIFIERS. 137 ed. Smoke houses, corn-cribs, and hen-roosts were nightly plundered ; but whither the booty went, no one could tell. At last however their retreat was discovered, by mere accident, in the depth of a cane-brake. It was now resolved forthwith to rout or to capture them. A considerable body of mounted men were soon organized for this purpose. The larger part of these were Nullifiers, and armed with sword and pistol. Several of the Union men, among whom were Colonel Peterson, Cap tain Treadwell, and myself, were disinclined to the use of deadly weapons, as being quite un necessary for the recovery of a few miserable runaway blacks. We hoped the power of per suasion rwould be sufficient; and merely took each a tough cudgel, to be used in case of abso lute necessity. C^sar Johnson had chosen his retreat with no little judgment for, after leaving our horses at the entrance of the cane-brake, we found the passage so difficult, on account of the thick and powerful growth of tall reeds, that it took us no little time to reach the camp of our sable antago nists. Some of our party were for setting fire to the brake, and thus Nullifying the miserable wretches by burning them in their encampment. 128 A YANKEE AMONG Captain Tfeadwell, on the other hand, thought that water would be the more judicious instru ment for subduing them ; in support of which, he cited the case of the attack on the factory, much to the annoyance of the Nullifiers, some of whom had been engaged iu that famous as sault; and he ended by regretting exceedingly that he had not brought along the fire engine. As soon as we arrived at the spot, being a cleared space of some little extent, the blacks were ordered to surrender. " Neber !" said Cjesar Johnson, grasping an empty gun-barrel, and placing himself in the van of his coadjutors " neber will we render, so long as de breaf remain in dese mortal bodies. We hab put ourselves on our zarved rights ; we hab extorted to fleecessium ; we hab till dis mo ment use only de peaceeble r emery ; and now, gemmen, if you temp to carry us way by forci ble arm, contrary to de Conseltutium, by de holy hoe-cake we will fend ourselves to de last drop of btyood wat flow in our veins. This speech was responded to by a general "Fullah!" from the throats of all the J)lacks ? who, seizing their weapons, stood uponth^fdefen-t? sive. The Nullifiers were now afcout commenc- ing the attack with pistol in hand 1 , when Colonel THE NULLIFIERS, 129 Peterson stepped forward, and in a mild tone of persuasion, endeavored to convince the deluded slaves of the fatal madness of their undertaking ; and to urge their return to the employment and protection of their masters. " Pertectium!^ exclaimed Caesar, flourishing his weapon, " I bomblenate de word ; and by gosh ! I" nullify any man, wedder black or wite wat mention de ting." With that he whirled his gun-barrel thrice around his head, and was on the very point of nullifying the Colonel, when Captain Treadwelj dexterously drew his long cudgel across Cesar s shins, and laid him prostrate on the ground. The battle now commeijiced in good earnest, w Black against white, and white against black \ nullifiers on this side and nullifiers on that. Here swords and pistols, powder and ball ; there, scythes and hoes, axes and empty guns. Pop ! went the pistols ; whiz ! went the bul lets ; cut ! went the swords ; slambang ; went the gunbarrels ; slash ! went the axes, thump ! went the hoes. In short, fire and fury, madness and rage, despair and vengeance, blood and wounds, bruises and contusions, jargon and con fusion, mingled pell-mell and ruled the hour. A bullet from the pistol of Captain Firebrand 6* 130 A YANKEE AMONG sped like lightning, and carried off one half the right ear of Cato Clump ; nor did it stop here but passing onward, grazed the cheek of Cuffee Brown, and finally lodged in the thick wool of Majory Misletoe. But Cato Clump did not pa tiently, nor unrevenged, endure the dismember ment of his ear ; for swinging his hoe-handle, both three and four times around his head to ga ther vengeance for the onset, he thus addressed Captain [Firebrand "Now take de venge of a color man ! If dis blow no nullify you, I neber try agin" and letting drive at the Captain s head, he brought flat to the earth Peter Grimshaw, the Captain s right hand man, who had no more sense than to stand straight up, while the Cap tain, by judiciously bobbing his head avoided the blow. " Dere you lie, Misser Cap n !" shouted Cato exultingly when looking once more to see that he was fairly done for, he exclaimed, " By gosh, I kill de wrong man !" A few steps off, Toby Thicklip, with a trucu lent scythe, aimed a sweep at the trap sticks of Sergeant Slim, at the same time exclaiming with a horrid grin, " Dat take of your understanin, by goles !" He let drive, and came within an ace of cutting Robert Short in two in the middle : for THE NULLIFIERS. 131 at the particular moment, when the sharp instru ment swept where erst were the legs of Sergeant Slim, the prudent Sergeant dexterously bounded from the ground and escaped the shortening stroke, u That was nimbly done, by Jove !" exclaim- ed Corporal Flunk ; and throwing his pistol at the head of Toby, as he saw him approaching with his scythe, he took to his heels, resolving never to look back till he should be securly en- sconced in the thickest part of the cane-brake. His pistol in the mean time enacted wonders for entering the huge mouth 01 Toby, it passed directly down his throat ; where it no sooner lodged, than it went off; and the muzzle happen ing to point forwards, the ball arrestid the fligh* of Corporal Flunk, who in his speed leaning for ward at an angle of forty five degrees,. received the envious lead just beneath his shoulder blade. Thus adding another proof to the thousands which had been given before, that a soldier sel dom, gains any thing by running away in battle. The bold and chivalrous Lieutenant Flimflam, .standing at a safe distance from his sooty foes, with sword in hand cut right and left ; and, in the rage of his valour, did or was prepared to do, -most astonishing feats. Brandishing his weapon 132 -A YANKEE AMONG he manfully called on his sooty foes, and dared them if they had the least spark of courage, or any desire whatever to be cut to pieces, lo come on, and place themselves within reach of his sword. " Come on! come on ! you dastardly niggers. Come on, you rebels. Come on, you cowardly slaves. I ll cut you up in fine style. Til learn you to secede from yogir masters. I ll leave nei ther hide hair, nor any part of you* Only come here, that s all I ask of you." As he said this, and still kept brandishing his sword right and left, he accidently sliced off three good inches from the heel of Rosa Flatfobt, who happened just at that r instant, in flouncing and bouncing and cutting high capers in derision of his prowess, to bring her too exuberant heels within reach of his puissant weapon. While these feats were enacting, the war rag ed with prodigious vigor in other quarters; and Sambo White and Pompey Crookshin performed deeds of valor worthy of the reserved rights for which they were contending. Sambo White rais ed aloft an enormous axe, already blushing with anticipated gore, and discharged it full into the head of Mr. Portius Puff, exclaiming at the same time, "Dat brain you, any how !" But Sambo THE NULLIFIERS. 133 was mistaken. A puff of wind came out, like imprisoned Igas from a bottle of beer, and lo ! the sconce was empty. As he fell, Pompey Crookshin snatched the pistol from his quivering fingers, and turned it full against the face of Simon Flash. And now had been Simon s last hour but, fortunately, Mr. Portius Puff had forgotten to insert the ball. Nevertheless the luxuriant whiskers on which Mr. Flash valued himself above all other proper ties, caught fire from the pistol ; and being filled with sundry oleaginous substances, whereby their growth had been promoted, the devouring flame sped rapidly, and the whole crop was laid in ashes before the conflagration could be ar rested. While Pompey Crookshin stood wondering at the combustion he had caused, a bullet, from in unknown hand, struck him in the middle of the forehead ; and finding his skull made of impene trable stuff, bounded back, and taking an oppo. site Nullifier just between the lips, carriedjiway two of his teeth, and descended with them down his throat. But Cuffee Brown was less fortunate than Pompey Crookshin : for as he was brandishing his hoe-handle, and laying about him with un* 134 A YANKEE AMONG spairing hand, a ball which had glanced from an- other of the hard heads of his coadjutors, took him sideways on the tmder lip, and carried off a half a pound of that luxuriant organ. The battle still continued thick and warm. Feats of wonderful prowess were enacted on both sides. Among those who distinguished them selves on the part of the whites, was Mr. Har rington. But now, owing to his age and over exertion, his strength was beginning to flag. Op posed to him was a negro of prodigious strength, who having struck down his opponent s weapon and deprived him of his chapeau at the same stroke, was about letting fall a blow, which would inevitably have finished him ; when at that critical moment, I sprang between him and danger. "Wat! you here, Massa Ellumwood?" ex- clkimed the black, dropping his weapon. " Me no can hurt you, massa, me die first, you good to brack man, Massa Ellumwood." Saying this he retired to another part of the field. He was one of Mr. Harrington s slaves, and the deference he paid to me was owing to some trifling favours on my part, whereby I had won his affection and regard. Mr. Harrington was no sooner relieved from r THE NULLIFIERS. 135 his imminent peril, than grasping my hand with the utmost warmth, he declared he was indebted to me for his life ; he entreated my pardon for his past opposition ; and swore if he had twenty daughters, I should now marry them all. I thanked him for his great liberality ; but as sured him I should be perfectly satisfied with the one he had. " No, that you shan ^t," he exclaimed, "for I will settle upon you immediately one half my estate ; and more than that, I will renounce Nul, lification henceforth and forever." The battle still continued to rage with very little abatement ; and the white Nullifies, whp had expended nearly all their ammunition, to very little purpose, were beginning to get the worst of it ; when the Union men, adopting the exam- pie of Captain Treadwell, directed their efforts to the most vulnerable part of the persons of their sooty antagonists ; and by a few well aimed blows at their shins, soon laid the leaders pros- trate on the ground, when the rest threw down their arms, and surrendered themselves prison- ers of war those who had been disabled, or de spoiled of their courage by the shinning mode being taken prisoners of course. Among these 136 A YANKEE AMONG as the reader will recollect, was the heroic chief and incomparable orator, C^sar Johnson. As this is the only battle worthy of note, since the famous one of Waterloo, it may be not amiss to subjoin a list of the killed, wounded and risoners. P WHITE NULLIFIERS. Killed, - - - "-",_- Wounded : By Splitting the Head fe - - 1 Knocking out the Teeth - 3 Burning off the Whiskers - - 1 Cracking the Sconce - - 4 A Bullet under the Scapula - 1 Touching the Sense of Chivalry 6 -.4 Posteriori - - 11 Total, 21 Taken Prisoners BLAGK NULLIFIERS. Kitted Pi - Wounded ; By Dismembering the Under Lip 1 Dittto the Right Ear - - 1 Grazing the Cheek 1 THE NULLIFIERS. 137 A Bullet in the Wool . i Slicing off the Heel - . 1 A Pistol down the Throat - 1 Touching the Sense of Feeling 9 Whacking the Shins - . 10 Total, 25 Taken Prisoners The Whole Squad. CHAPTER XVI. CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER. All obstacles being now removed, and no cause for delay remaining, my union with Hen rietta was immediately consummated. To de scribe domestic bliss, so as to convey an ade quate idea to the mind of the reader, is no feasi- able undertaking. In order to be understood, it must be seen nay felt and therefore I despair of enlightning those, who are unacquainted with the matter in general, on the subject of my own particular felicity. If, however, they will take the trouble to call on me at Elmwood Retreat for such is the name given by my wife to a noble plantation presented us by her father they shall have such demonstration of my present comforts, as an ample fortune, an open house, a happy master, and a hospitable mistress can furnish. Some philosophers will have it that Jove is a disease ; in proof of which they aver that it is in variably put an end to, or cured, by marriage. Without admitting either the alleged fact or the argument built upon it, and it may be sufficient A YANKEE AMONG 139 to say, that love seems often-times to be contagi ous ; and, if it be not a dw-ease, is marvellously apt to produce tm-easy effects. These effects are by no means confined to class or color, as I had occasion to notice in relation to my negro Tom ; who, the very next day after I was married came to me with a very dolorous countenance, rolling up his eyes like a duck in a thunder storm, laying his hand significantly on his stom ach, and sighing like a pair of blacksmith s bel lows. " Well, Tom, what s the matter ?" said I. " I don t know, Massa," said he " I neber feel so afore, and don t zactly feel so now. It tink it must be lub, Massa." " Love ! you snow-ball what can you be in love with? a flitch of bacon, or a red-coat?" "No, massa wid Dinah Phillis. Neberde- less, massa, I like de bacon and de red coat too?" " Well, what have I to do with your love af fairs ?" " Wy, massa, it all de fashion to git marry now. Misser Highman, he light de pine knot yesserday, and I tought I might as well marry afore he go out massa." 140 A YANKEE AMONG " So, yuo re growing sentimental, Tom. It s Mill time you were married." " Tank you, massa. Shall I have de red coat to be marry in ?" " Ay, Tom, you may have any colonr you please." " I no very tikular bout de colour, massa, so he be red." Tom was married, according to his desire in a flaming scarlet coat. But the example proved to be a verytroublcsome one for all the darkies in the neighbourhood desired to be married in red coats ; and even sundry matches were struck up for no thor purpose than to have the pleasure of appearing for one day in a scarlet suit; and poor Tom was nearly importuned to death by sable bridegrooms, of all sorts and sizes, for the . loan of his coat. My father-in-law was at first inclined to take severe measures with his reconquered blacks. But, through my intercession, they were finally pardoned. I cousenting to take them for my share of the slaves, which he insisted, in con nexion with the half his veal estate, in bestowing upon me. They were now thoroughly cured of Nullification ; and more faithful blacks I could not desire. But being utterly opposed to slavery THE NULLIFIERS. 141 and well convinced, not only of the feasibility, but of the advantage of introducing white labour into the South, I shortly emancipated them all, and sent such as would consent to go, to Liberia, with ample provision for their settlement in that happy and thriving colony. My example has been followed in part by Mr. Harrington, and sundry of our neighbours, who having abandoned Nullification, and become con vinced of the importance of free white labour 9 have begun gradually to adopt the practice of colonization. A few of the late misguided blacks were sent to Georgia aud Louisiana ; but through the influence of my father in law, Colonel Peter- son, and, I may add also, myself, I am happy to record that not a drop of blood was shed by way of retribution. The experiment of Colonel Peterson and my self, in the manufacturing way, succeds beyond our expectation. We are now erectiug a second mill, and our ingenious factom, Captain Timothy Treadwell, has been taken as a joint partner into the concern. His Anti-African-odor-gas-gene rator, entirely fulfilled the intention for which it was invented; but being rather expensive and rather troublesome withal, by his advice, we 142 A YANKEE AMONG have dismissed the coloured operatives, and sup plied their place by an importation o^ Yankees. The prejudice with which our establishment was at first viewed, is now beginning to wear away. No attack has been made on it since the memorable defeat of the assailants, recorded in a former chapter ; and I am apt to tiring it has had had a very good effect in banishing, at least from our neighborhood the mania of Nullification. Captain Treadwell, as if his active genius could never rest, has lately wrought out, and procured patents for, sundry new inventions < Among the rest is one for digging sweet pota toes, which performs alone the labor of twenty, four negroes. Another is for gathering corn ; which will husk an acre completely, in one hour and fifteen minutes, carefully separating, at the same time, the sound ears from the refuse. It is a good thing for the inhabitants of the dif ferent States to mingle together, not only in the way of commerce, business, and politics, but like wise in the nearer and sweeter intercourse of so cial and domestic life. It tends to wear away local asperities and to soften sectional prejudices. How can a Yankee, who has married a wife in the South, entertain harsh feelings towards that section of the country which has given him all he THE NULLIFIERS. 143 holds dear ? How can a woman, who has mar- ried a man from the North, feel aught but affec tion for that land which produced her other half, her second self, in the person of her husband and protector? These will laugh at the little peculiarities of habit, custom and education ; but they wilfnot consider them as constituting any essential part of the head or the heart, the mind or the affections, of the people to whom they ap pertain. For my part, I have long since toted all my prejudices to the moon, WHCTO 1 intend to let them rest, as well with tho " Kings that are lost on earth," as with the wood" ,-.>; it megs, the pork and molasses, and all such U ; -tgs as never had a being, except in the stor.*: touse of sectional fancy, or among the tibboto of local scandal. I love New England with I its Yankee notions, for it is the Iand0f my birth, my childhood, my education; I love the hospit South, in spite of its Nullification, for it i :.:rthplace of my wife, the home of my ac