EFE
MRS. GAZETTE
NEWS FROM ANOTHER up the 936th Annual Jeg
WORLD.
festival of the Jupiter Pluvius
Since the occurrence of the mem- Association for the advancement
orable Marequake in the year of Martian Incomes, which was
17897, we have not been called being held at Big Dipper erover
upon to record such startling Shortly after his and upon ,
and exciting news as that which the scene the innocelift ugom
appears in our columns to-day. bols of the participants
were
Yesterday afternoon we dis- interrupted by & to
toheton reporter to write wonderful portent to

OM
PEPTONOIDS
arrival
of the air-Ship
fearless reporter, were transfixed
beavens. A strange with surprise, and beheld the most
and
enormous body wonderful sight over seen in Mars.
came sailing through the From this oblong phenomenon
circumambient ether and emerged a singular being, God or
finally lit upon the summit devil, the inhabitant of another
of Mount Lucullus.
world. He was totally unlike the
The erstwhile gay and merry people of our planet in appearance,
picknickners fled in great trepi- figure and dress: strange to con
dation, but a few, among them our his maseive head was fimul

fixed between his should-
ers, hair grew under his
nose as well as upon the
top of his head. Hie
clothing, especially
that which encas-
ed his nether
twirl
limbs, was
of
exceeding noisi-
away he
made signs
ness and served
to explain the
of peace and
whirring sou-
OUR VO/TOR FROM EARTH
by means of an
nds which
HAY THOROUGHLY PROVED enormous search-
wore heard LIQUID PEPTONOIDS light upon the prow
before
TO BE UNEQUALED FOR
of his strange air
this
RECRUITING THE ENERGY OF
ship and with his fore-
INVALIDY AND CONVALEXENTY
won-
finger pointed to the
71 CONTAINS BOTH THE STIMULAT-
distant earth glimmering,
ING AND NUTRITIVE ELEMENTS OF in the realms of space,
BEEF MILK AND CLUTEN, IN
Then it dawned upon the
CONCENTRATED, PARTIALLY DI-
GEOTED FORM
people that this strange be-
ing bad journeyed hither
ward from
from that
far-awa
derfal being was visible to the sphere ; whereat they buzzed
eye.
His height was prodigious in amazement and invited him
and his speech resounding and to alight, and, when they had
unintelligible. To add to his timidly touched him
touched him without
fearful and terrific appearance harm to themselves, led the wa
he held in his cavernous mouth to the Palace of His Most Ma*
a large brown stick which was act. lignant Martian Majesty, Kin
nally on fire, emitting at intervals Flammarion, the Supreme and
clouds of dense smoke. To those Mighty Ruler of the Red Planet
yho were too frightened to When the court attendante, sp
The Steam
Typewriter

SEP OU QUES
EAR
0101333
LARA 勵​。
him some incontinently fled and others
toppled over with fear. But the King called
about him the wise men, seers and seersuck-
ers, and said unto them: «Turn the current
on your think spots, get a move on your
abbreviated intellects and tell me whence
The Ship
at anchor

Kin
Hammarion
and the Incubus
Nutrition
CHA
to it that yo
anger him not.
for if he smite
you from above I
opine your shoelets will
be filled with a choice
selection of much-mixed
came this
Martian anatomy." Then the
strange and elon- wise men conversed with the
gated being and for stranger by signs and sounds until
what purpose; and see they could understand his speech

nnn
229
R
LED
ပြီး
GLE EYE
SPEAMATOBLAST
In the
Hall of Therapistics
which, being freely interpre- business at a new stand. I observe
tod, was as follows: «O most that some of your courtiers are
rotund and many articulated fearful and afraid of me. Convey
Monarch! I am a physician to them the assurance of my most
from a far-away world. C. B. Hust- distinguished consideration and
ler, M.D., is my name, which in your tell them that I am as harmless and
language may be interpreted 'Get innocuous as the gay and gled-
there.' At the peril of my life I some trolley car. I am & social
have visited all of the physicians on and convivial being and after busi-
earth and, having made converts ness hours will introduce you to
of the am now prepared to do the festive Manhattan cock

the gay
gay and
re-
taid, the jovialem-nekey
and
gregarious
Sherry-cobbler. In the mean-
time kindly perrit me to
lightly scan your bill of fare,
for verily have I eaten nothing
for many hours save what I
unconsciously absorbed while
coming through the Milky
Way. After I have suitably
decorated my department of
the interior we will proceed
to get more intimately ac-
Syprical
Murtra
quainted." After this
Hrad
markable speech the King
Flammarion had food
Sineal
placed before the
Flexible. Teloesopeneck Thiele
stranger
concentration of Thought, etc.
water soup, toads-
eyes with truffles,
and sadly
snail's-eggs with bilge-water
shook his
sauce, bee stingers
head; then draw-
rolled in
ing from the inside pocket
sawdust and of his gay and gaudy vesture
other epicurean
& large flagon, on which the
delicacies-eyeing unintelligible words Liquid Pep-
which the men from tonoids were graven, he took a
Earth sighed deep draught therefrom and re-
marked in his peculiar language:
* Shades of Hippocrates, Ascula-
Phan
Wh
sea-
spot for
UCKETTERIES
1650
Apparaters for conveying Patients

pius and Paracelsus defend
us! What & field is here
Tlammarion sont for all the Phy
sicians of Mars. They came whirl-
for the
Specialist
in digest-
ve diseases
and ailme-
ats due to
defective
nutrition.
Verily, I will
on the mor-
row address
a convoca-
of
The Palace of
tion
Martian
p hy sicians
and give
them a few
belpful hin-
and therapeutic tips for ing in, making forty revolutions to
their enlighienment and my the minute, and congregated in
own everlasting profit." Then,
the great operating room of the
Rolling the attendants he was ex- Therapeutic Rest. Then the strange
hausted, he threw himself upon a earth-being spake through the
Brass mat and slumbered long and interpreter as follows:
loudly, so loudly, indeed, that the «Most learned fellow Æscula-
te verberant sounds from his mouth pians! I am onto the fact that
and nostrils caused the sacred, you and I are not built in the
three-legged cats to spit them-
same way, and yet, forsooth, dur
selves out of the windows of the mission is the same to relieve
olace
our fellow beings of their cus
o won the other landame change
Para all Per

chance we may learn much from geen what you havond
each other. I am the inter- most do need, namely,
BIRDS
EYES
7DDYWED
TEADS
WASPS-EARS.
UTARATISHTINA
7501NCELMELSE
RAZCOVERE
SYS
పం
P
of King Flammarion
to
planetary agent of The Arling-
in
ton Chemical Company, of
Yonkers, N. Y., America, Terra
ge Firma, the Earth, and have come
here not only to add to their
glory and shekels, but also to
bring you good tidings of great
Quick Lunch
machine
joy, and incidentally to replen- some agent
ish my own depleted bank account. which will add
I have neither wax in mine earg
to your nutritive
ponor gum on mine eyelids, O Mer- force and give health
tier Medicos, and, therefore, and strength to the weakond pics
she I already heard and of your populations Dogtoo thic
HY

the
IR
Breyond the
the Veil
bottle of Liquid Peptonoids? and protrusions on your fore-
Verily it will do for your people heads." Then he was told that
evon as I say by adding to their do they were the regulators of mental
pleted blood defensive proteids to energy, whereby all the currents
ward off attacks of disease. But I of thought may be turned in one
would fain know more of your- or the other direction, by means of
selves. Tell me, I pray you, the wheels in their head-pieces, and
function of those little soft spots turned off again when the

Plank Tree
fined entirely to the medical
guild as a protection against
bad debts.
He then inquired especially in
regard to the more common dis-
eases of the Martians, and was in-
formed that the National ailmente
were Mal-Nutrition, Pulmonary,
Grastric and Intestinal Disorders,
and that even the Mighty King
Flammarion himself was tortured
** night and day by the Incubus of
Disordered Nutrition. Upon
learning these facts he was seen
to grin and chuckle
think-spot required rest. He then in & most amazing
questioned the Martian Medicos manner and remarked
in regard to the digestion, absorp- that from the length
tion and assimilation of food and of our necks it was
expressed great surprise and ad- lucky that the Nation-
miration when they placed one of al ailment didn't run
their number on the operating into a sore-throat.
table and by means of the X-rays. After making a nam-
showed him the functions and ber of further inquir-
operations of the digestive organs. ies he spoke again as
They then exhibited to him a very follows:
follows: "I compre-
practical and necessary apparatus hend that in certain
to show before treatment the ways you are more
financial ability of the patient by favored than my
revealing the contents of the pock. people, but I also
-book through the clothing. perceive that in the
ilme of this machine was con- art of healing you are

and pul-
Hond slow. Get out your Liquid Peptonoids,
pads, O Charlatans and Em. its efficiency in in-
potricists, and I will give you* fectious, gastrio
formula which shall be a
monary
blessing to you and & boon to
diseases, and
our marasmic race."
its aseptic quali-
Then he told them of
ties. After which
the peptogenic
he resumed as follows:
effect of
“And now, my hoop-shaped
friends, that your faith in Liquid
Peptonoids may be the greater, I
will relate to you a bit of ancient
CIBULANCE
Com
LOUD
TERMOS
Tomat tona

0
ANAS
KILEGA
Typhoidal
Mieran from
the Grand Canal
Floating
fities
وغ
ST
method of Quilding Canals w. Mars
history. Many years ago, before tions of the doc-
Liquid Peptonoids were discov- tors were of no
ered, my people, too, were dys- avail, and, thou-
peptic and ill-nourished, for they gh eating much,
Anatomne
were too busy to masticate their they wasted away
martian
food, and lunched on rubber- from lack of
soled sandwiches and railroad nutrition. Then there appeare
pie. Then the pains of hell gat certain physicians, more wise than
whold of them. All the prescrip- their fellows, who gave Ligula.

For the
1. Protection of the
Peptonoids to the world, and the
people rejoiced and took it. Then
the evil spirit of indigestion and
marasmus sat 20 more at their
midnight suppers, the Golden
Buck and the Welch Rabbit fled
away, and the deadly ptomaine
gnawed no more at the vitals of
my people. Liquid Peptonoids
required no further introduction
to the physicians of earth, and
therefore I lit out for Mars. I am
now prepared to allay your fermen-
tation, take the kinks out of your
duodenums, and pack the good-
ly fibrin on your emaciated car-
cases. Bring to me now some of
the most confirmed and hopeless
cases you have in Therapeutic
Medical
Guild
Rest, and
I will treat
them for their difficulties,
and when they are cured
I will leave my Nutri-
ent with you and return
to the earth."
Then the attendants brought
in those whom rigor mortis had
well nigh laid hold upon, and the
man from the earth gave them
Liquid Peptonoids, and continued
80 to do for several days until the
grand transformation soene was
enacted
The sick arose and whirled of
to their homes, and the breezes

City
Launch
ΠΑΝΕΛΝΤ
a new
CANIN
0 MT
AVA
.
ban
.
from the hills of Lucullus Most Malignant Majesty, King
swept through the empty rooms Flammarion, appointed a day for
of The Therapeutic Rest. Then His universal thanksgiving, and set &
feast before the people, consisting
of horse chestnuts and sorrel, but
with Liquid Peptonoids
88 a dessert and anti-
dote, and the man
BREACH ACTING
from the earth was
TIME LOCK
appointed physi-
PATENTED IN
cian to the
SATURN 93
93
VENUS
King, with
MARS
LIQUID
PEPTO-
NOIDS
NOIDS
PEPTO-
LIQUIDS
JUPITER
O
JUNO 00
CERES
VESTA
D-9 URANUS O
MERCURY
AND ALL THE
SATELLITE'S
pa
LIQUID
PEPTORONDS
ONKERS
со
a Treasure
the outside
33072

LIQUID PEPTONOIDS
THE MEDICA:. PROFESSION
ENDORSED BY
AND MEDICAL PRESS OF EARTH
PRETONOIDS
Кооооооо
90 Qo
OVOTO OOO
оооооо
The writing
on the sky
o bonchas to draw upon the July on the earth. It is therefore
omal Repy Bt will i
fitting that I should celebrate
Whecendon a smile of amazing and getting out his lime-light he
mplitudo split his countenance in threw upon the crimson dones
pola sata near I Mars the wonders