ARTES
1817)
SCIENTIA
VERITAS
LIBRARY
OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
LUATOUS UNUM
TUEBOR
SIQUERS PÉNINSULAM AMOL NAM
CIRCUMSPICE
· Hubbard
Imag. Voy.
ре
5670
T25
M3
Jamed Des
Nols
yi
о
MAMMUTH;
OR,
Human Nature Diſplayed
ON A
GRAND SCALE:
IN A TOUR WITH THE TINKERS, INTO
THE INLAND PARTS OF AFRICA.
BY THE MAN IN THE MOON.
IN TWO VOLUMES.
VOL. I.
LONDON:
PRINTED FOR J. MURRAY, FLEET-STREET.
MDCCLXXXIX.
CONTENTS
OF THE
FIRST VOLUME.
CHAP. I.
Page
The Author is terrified
I
CHA P. II.
Who I really am
13
CHA P. III.
Being initiated in the Mysteries of the
Gypfies, I perform Miracles
CHAP. IV.
We perform more Miracles
27
бо
CONTENTS.
CHA P. IV.
Page
The philofophical Shoemaker continued 129
CHAP. V.
I meet with an old Acquaintance,
with whom I travel into diftant
Countries
CHAP. VI.
144
A Congress of Kings
164
CHAP. VII.
The Author is ftolen
195
CHAP.
VIII.
Mammuthia defcribed
218
CHA P. IX.
A Converſation on Horfeback
229
CHA P. X.
Natural Curiofities
251
CHA P. XI.
The Hofpitality of the Hierophant 266
HUMAN NATURE
ON A
GRAND SCALE.
BY
CHAP. I.
The Author is terrified.
Y THE LIVING PYTHAGORAS,
Philoponus is right! Though
wrong-headed in moſt things, in this
he is right! We are in many inftances
governed by prejudices of education,
and, in many, affume to ourſelves too
high a rank in the ſcale of nations.
The prefent race of mortals are as
much inferior to their remote an-
ceſtors, as a lady's lapdog is to an
Orang Outang. Men have exifted,
and a few nations, venerable remains
VOL. I.
*B
of
2
MAMMUTH; OR,
of antiquity, ftill exift, far ftronger
and better than we, large and long-
lived, fagely-fevere in their manners,
black, grim, and to the apprehenfions
of the poor pygmies of our part of
the world, objects of terror. Such
were the philofophers of ancient
Egypt, the native land of fcience and
art, and all that improves and em-
belliſhes the nature of man. As
light fprings from darkneſs, and the
grey
dawn ſhines forth to the perfect
day; fo inſtruction, through the me-
dium of the tawny Phoenicians, and
the brown Greeks and Italians, has
been derived by a regular progreffion
from the fable fons of Africa to the
fair inhabitants of the moft northerly
nations of Europe. I tremble while
I relate that impreffion of fenfe which
Firſt conveyed theſe, with many other
truths, to my gnoftic powers!
In
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 3
In the central parts of Africa, un-
trod by the foot of Abyllinian Bruce,
and which it never entered into the
heart of the lying Munchaufon* to
conceive; as I doubled one of the
projections of an abrupt and rugged
mountain, I was met, full in the face,
at the ſmall diſtance of about two or
three hundred yards, by a gigantic,
black, and woolly-haired Hierophant,
riding ftark naked on a monfirous
Mammuth. He waved before his vifual
orbs fomewhat that in appearance, as
well as in fize, refembled the forefail of
a fhip,and hummed, as he moved flowly
on, certain articulate founds, which I
had for fome time conceived to be
the howling of the wind amidſt the
clefts and incurvations of the moun-
The epithet of fabulous is applicable only to
fuch fictions as have a certain degree at leaft of
unity or defign.
В 2
tain.
4
MAMMUTH; OR,
tain. Though ftruck with horror,
and a ſtrong deſire to make my eſcape,
I felt myſelf powerfully attracted by
fome phyfical impulfe towards the
jaws of the Mammuth, into which,
if I had once fallen, I would never
have returned, either dead or alive,
to the green furface of the foodful
earth, at leaſt by the fame way that I
entered. If the fympathetic Reader,
alarmed for my fafety, wifhes to know
for what end I threw myſelf into a
fituation fo full of danger, and by
what means I eſcaped it, I will imme-
diately proceed, by a detail of events,
to gratify a curiofity which I confider
as a very great compliment.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
5
LA
CHA P. II.
Who I really am.
WHOEVER imagines that the
writer of theſe travels is the
identical perſon whofe name he af-
fumes in the title-page, is grofsly
miſtaken; as a little reflection on what
has just been related will readily con-
vince him. The real Man in the
Moon, the ſpirit that prefides over
that planet, the god of fancy, would
look undaunted in the faces of an
hundred Hierophants, and make
Mammuth himſelf tremble like an
Italian greyhound. Alas! I am not
the lunar fovereign. I am only his
amanuenfis, and humble client. But
having published, through his infpira-
tion, and at his defire, travels into the
lunar
B 3
6
MAMMUTH; or,
lunar regions, and having from that
circumftance been dignified with the
name of The Man in the Moon, I have
chofen to retain it as a very good tra-
velling appellation, in the fame manner
that lackeys and valets affume among
themſelves the titles of their mafters.
At the fame time it is neceffary to
declare, that I know nothing of a cer-
tain treatiſe profeffing to be A Peep
into the Houfes of London, by the
MAN IN THE MOON. Who that had
really been infpired by the lunar fo-
vereign, would ever think of calling
the affiftance of a god in a buſineſs
that might be performed by a chim-
ney-fweep?
I ought, undoubtedly, to make an
apology for having fo long delayed to
publish my Tour with the Tinkers. In
fact, I would never have been at the
trouble
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
7
trouble either to write or to publiſh it,
if I had not been impelled to do both,
by the great patronefs of literature,
Neceffity. The hopes I had conceived,
from the affurances of my celeſtial
patron, were hitherto difappointed.
The rude and roaring Secretary of
rate, who had been ftunned by the
luar rays into fomething like a con-
viction that he ſtood in need of lite-
rary affiftance, for the purpoſe of put-
ting a good face on both his fpeeches
and actions, became, in the proceſs of
time, elated with his unexpected con-
tinuance in power. He entirely re-
covered his former felf-conceit and
ftupidity*. Beſides, the power of the
* It may feem odd to talk of recovering ftupi-
dity but it is to be obſerved, that a conſciouſneſs
of ignorance is not ſtupidity, but the contrary, and
indeed the first step towards the attainment of
knowledge.
B 4
crown
8
MAMMUTH; OR,
crown was now greater than it had
ever been in times of freedom; info-
much that the royal favour alone
was a fufficient pledge for ftability in
office. In the vigorous periods of
liberty, fplendid talents and virtues
are neceffary in thoſe to whom the
court, with the approbation of the
people, commit the firft offices of go-
vernment in times of defpotiſm, an
emperor may beſtow the conſulate on
an horfe. My patron, flow as he was
of apprehenfion, was not fo devoid
of common fenfe as to confider lite-
rary talents as of the leaft confequence,
when he revolved in his mind who
were his colleagues in office, and what
he was himſelf*. So low, indeed,
was
* It is remarkable that there never was fuch
a Secretary of State as Lord S--y, nor fuch an
attorney G-1 as P——r A→→n, in any former
period
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
9
was the credit of literary reputation,
that on all occafions where either form
or decency required that the meaſures
of adminiſtration fhould be explained
or defended, left the power of mi-
nifters fhould appear to ftand in need
of the foreign aid of fenfe and in-
formation, and that the glory of
period of English liberty. In a reign, however,
which was conducted by monarchical principles,
we find a Secretary not altogether unlike our
ftupendous ſtateſman in fome refpects, though
greatly fuperior to him in others. "Sir Edward
Conway, fays Arthur Wilfon, was made (by
King James I.) Secretary of State; a rough un-
polished piece for fuch an employment! but the
king, who wanted not his abilities, would often
make himſelf merry with his imperfect fcrawls in
writing, and hacking uncouth expreffions in read-
ing and ſpeaking, fo that he would break into
laughter, and fay, Had ever man fuch a Secretary,
who can neither read nor write?" From the reign
of James I. until the prefent, who could afford
to amufe himſelf with fo royal a jeu d'efprit as
this?
B 5
the
10
MAMMUTH; OR,
the crown might be magnified by the
vileness of the inftruments that exe-
cuted the fovereign will, the moſt
wretched fcribblers were employed,
in newſpapers, and other periodical
productions of the prefs, as well as
in pamphlets and more bulky works,
that could poffibly be found in, or
even out of, the British empire. It
was not therefore to be expected,
that one who had been ennobled by
fo cloſe and familiar an intercourſe,
and fuch copious communications
from the god of fancy, fhould re-
ceive the leaft favour or countenance
from any of the fervants of the
crown. I certainly did not. The
fmall fum I drew for the travels I had
written by the infpiration of the Man
in the Moon was gone, in a ſpace of
time which, for the fake of my cha-
racter, either as an author or an
œconomist,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
I I
œconomist, I think it prudent to
conceal. I fell into great want.
But
my uneafineſs under that misfortune
was not now, as when I fallied forth
from Edinburgh with a ſmall knap-
fack, mellowed into tender anguiſh
and felf-commiferation, and melan-
choly bordering on defpair. No! It
was ftrongly feafoned with peevish-
neſs and miſanthropy. I curfed every
human creature who had either pro-
miſed, or from whom I had expected
fuccour in vain. Even the Man in
the Moon did not eſcape my execra-
tions. I forgot the obligations I owed
to that celeſtial. They were all of
them loft in the recollection of one
point, which my chagrin led me to
confider as a grievous injury. This
was no other than the friendly and
comfortable affurance he had given me,
B 6
that
12
MAMMUTH; OR,
that the travels I fhould write would
afford no trifling recompence; and
that he would endeavour to influence,
in my favour, the mind of the Secre-
tary of State.
In this fretful mood, I determined
to compoſe,-what I judged would be
a more lucrative production than any
celeſtial excurfion,-my promiſed
Tour with the Tinkers. I refolved to
affume, like other travellers, an un-
bounded freedom, and to ufe every
ftratagem practifed by the artificers
of volumes in octavo, in quarto,
and in folio. Sir John Mandeville,
I refolved, fhould not exceed me in
invention, nor T-r in the uſe of
fciffars or pafte, nor felf-puffing
fishery K-x in impudent compila-
tion. For the purpofe of fwelling
my
L
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 13
my volumes, it would be very proper,
I concluded, like other laborious
compilers of Voyages, and Views, and
Tours, and Travels, to intermix with
my narration and defcription, moral
harangues, fyftems of phyfic, and
hiftories of towns and ftates; and,
in order to give them circulation, to
introduce, in as great numbers as pof-
fible, barons, earls, counts, marquifes,
dukes, princes, and princeffes. It was
true, I confidered, that the humble
ftation of a ſtrolling tinker did not
admit of my being received into the
company of the great on the footing
of a man of family or fortune, and
hardly, indeed, on that of a phyſician
or travelling governor. But then I
certainly enjoyed, as a tinker, and
phyſician too to a company of
tinkers, many opportunities of ob-
ferving the manners, and even of
liſtening
14
MAMMUTH; OR,
liftening and overhearing the dif
courfe of great lords and princes, from
which travelling governors, and
doctors of all denominations, by the
dignity of their ſtations, are excluded.
For example, at all weddings, cele-
brated with proper feftivity, and on
all occafions of public rejoicings, the
tinkers have been for time immemo-
rial kindly received, and heartily
entertained: fo that they are now con-
fidered, in all cafes of extraordinary
merry-making, as having a right to
hoſpitality by preſcription. On ſuch
occafions, accidental and artificial dif-
tinctions are for a time laid afide; and
men, and women too, in the higher
ranks, will ſo far forget, in the gaiety
of their hearts, the dignity of their
ftations, as to fuppofe, that one com-
mon nature is a ftronger bond of
union among human creatures, than
all
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
15
all the circumftances of fortune and
education are of oppofition. In this
momentary delirium, they will de-
fcend to familiar converſation even
with beggars. I have been introduced
to more good company, in the cha-
racter of a gypſey, than I would pro-
bably have been had I made the faſhion-
able tour of Europe. The intrigues,
too, that were carried on between
certain great men and our women,
afforded many opportunities of being
acquainted with their humours, learn-
ing their predominant paffions, and
even of diſcovering many of their
moſt important fecrets. I could adorn
my Tour with the Tinkers with a cor-
refpondence between a noble duke
and my amiable partner the queen of
the gypsies, whofe replies to his
Grace I myſelf partly dictated: but it
is not fit to tread fo hard on the heels
of
16
MAMMUTH; OR,
of time. I wish not to give a mo-
ment's pain to his lovely duchefs.
Among the opportunities of in-
ſtruction enjoyed by the gypfies, I
muft not omit to mention, that in the
character of phyficians and fortune-
tellers, we were always made wel-
come by the ſervants of great families,
who, that we might not be chaced
away from the caftle, would lend us
their own, and even their lord's and
lady's clothes, and entertain us in the
character of vifitors and relations,
and trades-people in decent circum-
ftances, who had bufinefs to tranfact
with the different officers of the
houſehold, as the fteward, houfe-
keeper, clerk of the kitchen, and
others, for a whole week together;
fome of us at the fecond table, and
others in the fervants hall. A few
of the beſt appearance commonly
went
i
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
17
went as an advanced guard, while the
reft remained in an adjoining field or
barn. Theſe were commonly put in
the diſguiſes I have mentioned: but
their temporary good treatment never
made them forget their brethren
without the park, to whom they
found means of conveying viands in
the greateſt abundance. The
The oppor-
tunities that were thus afforded, of be-
coming acquainted with high life
above, as well as below ftairs, were
many and various: for not only did
we hear the converfation of the fer-
vants from the land-ſteward himſelf,
who would ſometimes ftep in to take
a glaſs at the ſecond table as he came
fluſtered from my lord's, down to the
houſekeeper's footboy, in which every
thing they knew of their mafters
public and private characters was moſt
faithfully and circumſtantially related;
but
18
MAMMUTH; OR,
but we had accefs, fometimes, to the
company, and even to very familiar
intercourfe with their mafters them-
felves.
A few plain maxims ferved to guide
our conduct in the nice art of fortune-
telling in the houfes of the great. As
to the poor people, our prognoftica-
tions to them were generally made at
a venture. The grand concern of
life with men below thirty, and wo-
men below fifty, is love and marriage.
This obſervation holds efpecially in
great families, in which the fervants
are generally young, and fupported
by generous food. For love, reduced
from the airy flights of poets and
romantic boys and girls, and decom-
pounded into its conftituent parts, is
well known, by multiplied experi-
ments, to be a ſtrong ſpirit fublimated
from
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
19
from various vegetable and animal
fubftances, decocted in the human
alembic, and tinged occafionally with
different kinds and degrees of fenti-
ments, as the liquor known by the
name of Geneva derives its body and
ftrength from foodful grain, although
it is tinctured with the oil of turpen-
tine, or juniper-berries.
But although the phyfical analyfis
of love is not a very difficult matter,
the moral cauſes by which its latent
phyſical impetus may be excited or
directed, are infinite. Thefe, there-
fore, became the ſubject of very ſerious
ſtudy to the gypfies. It was obferved,
that love was excited by feaſibility,
or parity, or fimilitude of circum-
ftances and fituations. On this prin-
ciple we ſeldom heſitated to affirm,
that the houſekeeper was beloved by
the
20
MAMMUTH; OR,
the mafter gardener; that the cook
was ſweetheart to the bailiff; that the
private tutor was in love with my
lady's maid, the poftilions with the
laundry maids, the pantry boys with
the cook-maids, the hinds with the
dairy maids, and ſo on. It was alfo
noticed, that where there was ſuch a
feaſibility of alliance, the propenfity
to realize it was generally ftronger on
the fide of the women than on that of
the men; which is eafily accounted
for, on the principle, that as the life
of the former is more uniform and
confined than that of the latter; fo
alfo is the field of their views and
hopes lefs various and extenfive. As
to the butler and my lord's valet, who
were admitted behind the ſcenes, and
initiated in all the myfteries and in-
trigues of fashionable life, their de-
figns and ſchemes were fo numerous
and
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
21
and indefinite, that they, for the moſt
part, detefted matrimony, and ftudied
nothing fo much as, under fair pre-
texts, to feduce the chamber-maids.
But while the leading maxim in
our oracles on the ſubject of love was
that of feaſibility, there were other
maxims which formed exceptions
to this grand principle, and ſome-
times ferved to direct our predic-
tions in a number of cafes where the
circumſtances of feaſibility were al-
moft equal; fuch as the following:
In love there is fuch a thing as
a concordia difcors, or harmonious dif-
cord. Nothing in the whole extent
of nature can be more oppoſite than
the male and female fexes, and yet
where are two things to be found
that tally better, or that are bet-
ter
22 MAMMUTH; OR,
ter adapted for mutual agreement,
complacency, and fatisfaction? There
is fomething of this concordant di-
verſity that goes beyond fexual or-
ganization, and influences the general
œconomy of love. Little men, we
found, admired large women; and
little women coveted large men; red
haired men defired black-haired wo-
men; and black vifaged women
longed for fair men. If the huſband
was robuft, rude, and boisterous, the
wife was delicate, gentle, and com-
plaifant; if the wife was maſculine
and ungracious, there was a delicacy
of manner as well as of conftitution
in the huſband.
Old women were eafily caught in
the fnares of love by young men even
of inferior ftations: and old men
were, in like manner, very apt to fall
I
in
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
23
in love with young women without
fortune, birth, education, and even
character. And what is more extra-
ordinary, very young men are eaſily
inflamed with defire towards old wo-
men; and girls of fifteen are lefs in-
different than thofe of five-and-twenty
to the advances of men of fixty. So
powerful a principle in human nature
is curiofity, and fo great the force of
novelty!
If, notwithstanding every cir-
cumſtance of feaſibility and mutual
conveniency, there was not between
the parties a degree of mutual com-
placency and love, there certainly
was a very great degree in one, or
both, of averfion, and even hatred.
And the greater the endeavours of
one party, in fuch circumftances, to
pleaſe, the more certainly was the
diſguſt
24
MAMMUTH; OR,
diſguſt of the other excited and
heightened. Here I muſt beg leave
to make a short digreffion to a moſt
important point. How often have I
been moved with compaffion for many
a faithful and affectionate wife, who
came to the gypfies feeking ſome
charm by which he might recover
her huſband's heart, unhappily fixed
on ſome other object; and complain-
ing that all their affiduities to foothe,
pleaſe, and regain their partners,
thoſe lovers that had fo often thrown
themſelves in defpair at their feet,
had proved abortive! Ye virtuous
matrons! attend to the advice of
the phyſician of the gypfies; aban-
don a purſuit which muſt prove fruit-
lefs. The efteem of your huſband
you may preſerve, and even exalt,
but his loft love, by all the tender of
fices of friendſhip, you can never re-
gain.
7
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
25
gain. Withdraw yourſelves, if pof-
fible, from the fight of the faithleſs
man, in whoſe breaſt your efforts to
appear amiable, only ferve to call
to his remembrance, and to inflame
his adulterous paffion for your hated
rival. Seek confolation in objects
worthier of your attachment. All your
endeavours to recover his affections
are in vain. It is only by fleeing
from him, that you can ever catch him:
a paradox which will be confirmed in
the courſe of this narrative by a very
ftriking proof and example.
On the ftrength of thefe, with a
few other maxims, we practiſed the
art of divination, in the houfes of the
great, with aſtoniſhing ſucceſs, and
readily obtained recommendations
from one family to another. We
have even performed what feemed to
the vulgar nothing less than miracu-
VOL. I.
lous.
C
26
MAMMUTH; OR,
lous. In a certain great family in the
north of England, a noble lady, not
paft the fortieth year of her age, treated
with every mark of difrefpect and anti-
pathy a decent young man, about twen-
ty, lately returned from the univerſity
to the place of his nativity, a ſmall
village belonging to her brother, who
received him into his family, and at
his table, in quality of tutor to his fon.
But before I proceed to give an ac-
count of the grand moral miracles
we performed in this family, it will
be proper to deduce our ftory from the
point where I was firſt initiated in the
myfteries of the gypfies: from the
fpacious barn near Muffelburgh, men-
tioned in my former treatiſe, in which
I reclined with my lovely partner on
the fragrant hay, and, forgetting all
my forrows, gave way to the pleaſing
intoxication of the moft fucceſsful
love.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 27
CHA P. III.
Being initiated in the mysteries of the
gypfies, I perform miracles.
W
The
HEN I awoke in the morning
from the profoundeſt ſleep
I had ever enjoyed, it was fome
minutes before I was able to re-
collect the fituation in which I was
placed, my prefent fet of company,
and the circumſtances that had
led to this new mode of life.
different affociations that produced
this recollection paffed fo leifurely
acroſs my imagination, that I had
almoſt an opportunity of ſpecu-
lating on the conduct of the mind in
the proceſs of thinking, and parti-
cularly in the act of reminifcence.
The gypfies, with much formality,
C
2
con-
28
MAMMUTH; OR,
congratulated my fpouſe and myſelf
on our marriage, and with great
fymptoms of cordiality, faluting us,
and ſhaking us by the hand, wished that
we might live happily together for a
long while. They expreffed the higheſt
fatisfaction in the acquifition which
they had made to their fociety, and
declared their reſolution to celebrate
our nuptials, on that very day, in a
wood, fituated on the banks of the
river Eſke. Thither we repaired, in
jovial mood, and having difpatched
fome of our number to a neighbour-
ing village, chiefly inhabited by col-
liers, to invite thofe people to our
feſtival, and alſo to provide whatever
we deemed neceffary for making good
cheer, we immediately kindled a fire
for boiling our kettles, and dreffing
the wedding dinner; which was poſt-
poned till fix o'clock in the after-
noon,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
29
This
noon, for the fake of the company
we expected. On this occafion, the
gypfies, in honour of my ſpouſe,
whom they reſpected as their queen,
were not contented, as ufual, with
fcraps of viands collected from all
hands they were fo magnificent as
to facrifice a whole bullock, and a
pig, befides fowls and fish.
profufion, it muſt be owned, would
have very much exceeded what it
would have been prudent to expend
out of the common purſe, if it had
not been judged good policy, as well
as good manners, to make a great fhow
of hoſpitality to the colliers in the
neighbourhood, whom the gypfies
were wont to confider as friends and
allies. It is needlefs, as it is not the
end of this Tour with the Tinkers to
teach the art of cookery, to defcribe
the manner in which the gypſy-
C 3
women
30
MAMMUTH; OR,
women prepared a feaft from the
articles already mentioned; what they
roafted by means of wooden fpits,
and what they boiled in earthen veſ-
fels; what delicate foups they made
of falmon, and other kinds of fifh,
with infufions of various herbs, and
how readily they baked the moſt ſa-
voury unleavened bread. Suffice it
to fay, that whether living in the
open air gives uncommon fharpneſs
to the appetite; or that the gypfies
inherit fome ſecrets in cookery from
remote antiquity, I never, at any
period of my life, partook of any
entertainment with half the reliſh
that I always found in the diſhes
of that wandering race. By the hour
of fix, our whole company was dreffed
in their holiday cloaths, perfumed in
the moft delightful manner (for long
before perfumes were fashionable
among
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
31
among
the vulgar, they were
common among the gypfies, and
calculated, by their
their fashion, to
humour and difplay every motion
which is communicated to the cor-
poreal frame from the impaffioned
foul. A profufion of flowers plun-
dered from every garden, adorned the
filken bofoms of our ladies, or nodded
in the turbans of our manly youth.
Enchanting muſic refounded through-
out the winding banks and receffes
of the wood. The Efke forgot
to flow, and the trees ftood liften-
ing on every hill. Many a laird
and lady who heard the dying and
fwelling notes, who had a diftant
glimpſe of the fplendor of our ap-
parel, and to whofe noftrils the of-
ficious breezes wafted odours from
our garments, and alfo from the
C 4
flesh-
32
MAMMUTH; OR,
“.
by the great
Not fo the col-
From that pro-
flesh-pots of Egypt, longed to join our
happy fociety; but they were re-
ftrained by an apprehenfion that the
ſcene from which they had thoſe no-
tices, could be nothing less than a
fête champêtre, given
duke of Dalkeith.
liers of Caldcraft.
lific village came men and women,
young men and maidens, boys and
girls, infants at the breaſt, cats and
dogs; and I believe even the mice
and the rats of the houſes followed
the general train. The colliers were
decently clothed, and their faces and
hands were well-wafhed. The re-
mains of the coal-duft that lurked
about their eye-lids, fet off the white-
neſs of their ſkins, and gave a fingular
expreffiveneſs and grace to their coun-
tenances, not unlike that painting or
punctuation of the eyes, which is
deemed
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
33
deemed fo great an ornament by fome
Afiatic nations at this day, and which
is thought to have been practiſed by
that famous old Jewefs, Jezebel. The
gypfies and the colliers are fcat-
tered in ſmall groups at the roots
of trees, fome fitting, fome half-
reclined and leaning on their left
elbows, fome fetching victuals and
drink, all of them taking great de-
light in overpowering thofe friends
and foes of animal nature, hunger
and thirst, and encouraging one ano-
ther to prolong the unequal conteft,
and to fmite and infult the adverfa-
ries, though fallen and flain. The
muſicians take short but frequent re-
freſhments: and in the intervals of
their divine harmony, the jokes of
the old people are heard, and the
love-fighs and whispers of the young;
the brawling and fqualling of chil-
C 5
dren;
34
MAMMUTH; OR,
dren; the purring and mewing of
cats; and the clattering of dogs
jaws, craſhing bones.
A natural ſympathy had, for time
immemorial, taken place between the
gypfies and the colliers, both in Scot-
land and England, from the circum-
ftance of their common diverfity, or
rather oppofition to the common herd
of men though that common di-
verſity and oppoſition aroſe from dif-
ferent and even oppofite cauſes. The
colliers had long been treated as pre-
dial flaves, and though their liberty
had been lately recognized, yet were
they ftill a different generation of
mortals from their neighbours, who
defpifed them on account of the in-
juries that they and their forefathers
had for fo many ages been condemned
to fuffer. The colliers on their part
were jealous of being looked down
on;
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
35
on; and, avoiding the company of
other men, affociated with one ano-
ther. Their confined manner of life
made them very ignorant; and being
ignorant, fufpicious and fuperftitious.
Very little argumentation would have
been fufficient to perfuade them that
the men above ground only watched
for an opportunity of keeping them
under the batches, by the power of
iniquitous laws, as ufual; and they
were very attentive to dreams, omens,
and divinations. To thefe circum-
ftances, in the character and con-
dition of the colliers, it must be
added, that as their wages were twice
as high as thoſe of their neighbour-
ing labourers above ground, and
their wants not greater, they were
more than twice as rich. For all
thefe reaſons, nothing could be ima-
gined more natural than an alliance
C. 6
and
36
MAMMUTH; OR,
and friendſhip between the colliers
and the gypfies. The former were,
in fome degree, enemies to the maſs
of men, becauſe they lived under
ground, and were fixed by law, or
by the neceffity of their condition, to
one place; the latter, becauſe they
were not confined to any place what-
ever, but lived a wandering life on
the face of the whole earth: the
former were ignorant, fufpicious, and
fuperftitious; the latter intelligent,
fhrewd, and prophetic. A con-
nection was of courfe formed be-
tween theſe different people, on the
principle of a common antipathy
and of mutual advantage. Both
entertained an averfion and a
jealouſy of men who lived above
ground, and in fixed habitations;
and if the prefcience of the gypfies
was neceffary to quiet the apprehen-
fions
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 37
fions of the colliers, fo the crowns
and half crowns of the colliers, which
they amaffed in great numbers, af-
forded a very feaſonable antidote
against anxieties of another kind to
the gypfies. To this friendly people,
it was impoffible that we could be
too hofpitable. They were regaled
with great kindneſs, and great plenty;
and, according to ancient ufage,
the alliance was ftrengthened at this
interview by intermarriages.
was one of our young women, who,
for the good of the public, conſented
to become the wife of a wealthy col-
lier; and the fame collier's fifter
agreed to adorn the bed of one of
our young men. The colliers talked
of contracts, and infifted that the
nuptial rites fhould be performed by
a chriftian prieft. The gypfies laughed
immoderately at this, faying, that
There
where
38
MAMMUTH; OR,
where the hearts of two young peo-
ple were united, contracts and cere-
monies were uſeleſs. Grippy for grippy,
faid they; a proverb which might
indeed bear to be tranflated into the
Engliſh language, without any offence
to the most delicate ear, but not
without fuch circumlocutions, and
caveats againſt miſtakes, as might
give birth to improper ideas inftead
of obviating them. The matter in
diſpute was referred to the bride-
grooms themſelves, who very judi-
ciouſly compromifed it by agreeing to
follow the gypfy form, as a compli-
ment to the ftrangers, in the first
place, and to take the first convenient
opportunity of having the marriages
folemnized by an half-mark minifter
afterwards. Many fongs were fung
on this occafion, as
6
The
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 39
And,
The collier had a daughter,
And ſhe was wondrous bonny,
The gypfies came to our lord's gate,
And wow but they fang fweetly;
with many others. In the mean time
colliers and gypfies, in different
parties, were fkipping and dancing
through the wood like fo many
fairies.
In the midst of this feftivity, in
the duſk of a fummer evening, by
moon light, in a fequeftered wood,
an accident happened which turned
our feftivity into horror; and which
was indeed fufficient to have made the
ſtouteft heart to tremble. A crea-
ture, erect and tall, came running
upon two legs, with the head, the
hide, and hinder-feet of a bull, but
the
!!
MAMMUTH; OR,
40
the fore-legs dangling in the man-
ner of palfied arms. It roared and
bellowed as it advanced, and was
purſued by a number of dogs that
inceffantly barked and growled
against the monfter, and even had the
courage to bite and catch at his tail.
It might have well appeared evident
to a calm fpectator, that an animal
thus affailed could not be very
formidable to others. But reflections
of this kind did not occur to
us at that time; and every one of
the company, by the mode moft
familiar to himſelf, endeavoured to
provide for his own fafety. The
cats ran up the trees; fome of the
dogs trembled, and crouched under
their maſters; others boldly joined in
the chace. The women clung to the
men. The colliers looked about for
any thing like an opening, or hole
through
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
41
through which they might creep into
the bowels of the earth; the fidlers
fainted; and the gypfies took to their
heels. At laft, the minotaur having,
in the courſe of his flight, come to a
ftone dyke, or wall, that formed a fence
on that fide of the wood, lays hold
on the fummit thereof with his hands,
and makes a ſpring to leap over it:
down drops the bullock's hide; and
behold the butcher, who had brought
the animal from Dalkeith, and flaugh-
tered it in the wood, as a facrifice in
honour of the nuptials of the queen
of the gypsies.
The terror with which we had all
of us been feized, was now converted
into furious anger at the butcher.
We loaded him with curfes, and
pelted him with whatever came firſt
to hand. What have I done, ex-
claimed
42
MAMMUTH; OR,
3
claimed the unfortunate Talgol, that
man and beaft fhould be thus fet
againſt me?
Our rage being fomewhat abated,
we learnt that the butcher having
made very liberal ſacrifices to Bacchus,
in honour of the day, had been feized
with a ftrong inclination to go to
reft; and, as there was yet a con-
fiderable degree of heat in the bul-
lock's fkin, he had wrapped himſelf
up in it as in a blanket, pulling the
head and horns over his brows by
way of night-cap. Some dogs that
had been attracted by this femblance
of a flaughtered animal, had begun
to tear and pull it about; on which the
butcher ftarted up, and ran, graſping,
in his confternation, the hide in which
he had rolled himſelf, without recol-
lecting that this was the cauſe of his
jeopardy. From anger we now pro-
ceeded
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 43
ceeded to laughter and mutual ban-
ter on our fears, and the means by
which we had refpectively fought to
eſcape danger. As for the butcher,
although it had been ftipulated that
he fhould have the hide as a reward
for killing and cutting up the bul-
lock, he ſtole away as foon as he
could from the crowd that ſurround-
ed him, leaving the fkin behind
him.
We accompanied the colliers to
Calcraft, and took leave of them
next day, having firft predicted good
fortune, and promiſed to ſpend a
month or two in their neighbourhood,
during the winter, making their houſes
and mines our head quarters. For we
judged it good economy to vifit the
paſtoral and mountainous parts of the
kingdom in the fine weather;
and to
fojourn
44
MAMMUTH; OR,
fojourn in the plains, and near the
cities and towns in the rigorous
ſeaſon of ſnow and froft. We there-
fore made the beſt of our way to
what are called the South Highlands,
where we wandered about for three
months, with great comfort and fatis-
faction; every new ſcene in that varie-
gated Arcadia adding freſh vigour to
my paffion, and new charms to the
queen of the gypfies. As the peo-
ple here live a paftoral life, and are
not much occupied in the toils of
huſbandry, they poffefs abundant
leiſure, which is extremely favourable
to the tender paffion, and nouriſhes
a thouſand imaginary fears and hopes.
Thefe afford employment for the
gypsies in the character of fortune-
tellers; but, to counterbalance this
advantage, we had little employment
among the shepherds in that of phy-
ficians.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
45
ficians. We were generally rewarded
for our predictions by contributions
of wool. If we predicted good for-
tune we received white, and if bad
fortune, which, in order to keep up
our reputation, we were obliged now
and then to do, black wool. We loaded
our affes with wool on an average, once
in a fortnight, which we fent to the
nearest towns and fairs, as Lanerk,
Linton, Peebles, Selkirk, Annan, Dum-
fries, Moffat, Jedburgh, and ſo on.
Why fhould I I take up the
reader's time with a defcription of
the different hills verdant above the
middle, but the fummits covered.
with fnow, on which we picked up
wool, and from whence we looked
down on feas, rivers, and vallies be-
low? Why should I relate with what
nimbleneſs Gib. Gladſtones climbed up
Tamtallan? Or how the queen of the
gypfies,
46
MAMMUTH; OR,
gypfies, while fhe fojourned in the
mountains, fpoke, and acquitted her-
felf on all occafions like a woman
of good difpofitions and of com-
mon ſenſe? Far lefs do 1 think it
worth my readers while to enter into
a detail of our various prognoftica-
tions, fuch as, that Jenny Nettles,
before a year fhould go round, would
prove with child by rattling, roaring
Ruffel, her mafter's fon? In this there
was no witchcraft; for Jenny was a
bonny laſs, and the blythe blinked in
her eye; and Willy was a briſk young
lad, who did nothing but play on his
pipe, and fing love ballads, and tory-
rory the maids, whether at ſheep-
fhearing, or ewe-milking, or bleach-
ing linen, bare-footed and bare-head-
ed on the green, from morn to night.
I haſten through the beautiful town
of Dumfries, fall down in a lighter
to Annan, and lolling on a good pack
of
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
47
of wool with the queen of the gypfies,
our own property, paſs over in the
good fhip Elizabeth to Cockermouth,
in the month of September.
Near this place a fortunate accident
happened, which procured a very
favourable introduction to our com-
pany into the north of England. In
a great chief's houfe, while the mafter
was from home, on the grand buſineſs
of canvaffing for elections, we were
kindly received by the fervants, who,
notwithſtanding the vigilance of a
crabbed old ſteward, found means to
entertain us for a whole fortnight.
We were diſperſed in the day-time in
coal mines, and when it began to be
dark we were received through a
private door into an outer-houſe,
where we generally remained from
nine or ten o'clock to one or two in
the
48
MAMMUTH; OR,
the morning, when we crept into
our holes again, well loaded with
all kinds of neceffary refreſh-
ments. After
After this intercourſe had
been carried on for fome days,
the coachman, who had no doubt
diſcovered the diftinguiſhed rank of
my partner and myſelf, invited us to
paſs a night in one of the empty
ftalls in the ftable, where he had
taken care to provide abundance of
freſh hay, with horſe-clothes, in-
ftead of blankets. He himself, fo
early as twelve o'clock, fhewed us
our bed-room, and having care-
fully looked over the whole ftable,
according to cuftom, carried off
the light for fear of accidents, and
locking the door, put the key in his
pocket, and walked home. No ſooner
did our hoft retire, than up jumps a
large
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
49
large monkey, called the Man of the
Woods, with a whip in his hand, on
the back of one of the faddle-horſes,
and laſhing him moft unmercifully,
rode the animal for hours together,
and then placing the whip where he
found it, retired in the morning to his
cave. My gentleman, who had a tafte
for variety, did not confine himſelf,
as I afterwards found, to one horfe,
but roamed, as the whim ftruck him,
from one horfe or mare to another,
over the whole ftable; fo that now
one of the creatures was all in a ſweat,
and bore marks of the lafh in the
morning, and now another. All
inquiries into the caufe of this had
proved vain. The coachman and
grooms, the gardeners and others,
with the curate at their head, had
often watched in the ftables to no
purpoſe; for fo long as they were
VOL. I.
prefent,
D-
50
MAMMUTH; OR,
prefent, the Man of the Woods was too
cunning to ftir from his hiding-place.
It is a maxim of the gypfies never
to report any thing they hear or fee,
eſpecially in great families; becauſe
the connexions and relations of things
are fo complicated and various, that
the fimpleft fact proclaimed might
prove detrimental to fome one or
other. It was a mark of profound
wiſdom and fagacity in the Lord Trea-
furer Oxford, that he knew when to
hold his tongue. In this he was not
a whit behindhand with the gypsies,
though I very much doubt whether,
with all his knowledge of books, and
acquaintance with men of letters, he re-
ceived fo good a political education as
that in which the gypfies are bred from
their very cradles: for there is a great
difference between that attention which
is
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
51
is paid to maxims taught at ſchools,
and that which is fhewn to maxims on
whofe immediate and unremitted ap-
plication men depend for immediate
fubfiftence. We ftudied to give no
offence, but to gain the good-will, not
only of every human creature, but of
the very domeftic animals in great
families. Had we revealed the pranks
of the monkey, even that creature
might have contrived to do us a miſ-
chief. But, even without any dread
of the monkey, it was a law with us
to be filent on all occafions, however
frivolous, left by indulging an habit
of talkativeneſs, we ſhould ftumble on
fomething that, by being injurious to
others, might prove detrimental to our-
felves, and by too much fpeaking
loſe our reputation for knowledge.
No, no.
It was not our buſineſs to
bring an impeachment against the
D 2
Man
་
52
MAMMUTH; OR,
Man of the Woods, though we
laughed heartily at his tricks among
ourfelves. We played a deeper game.
After we had loitered four or five
days about this palace, we led on the
converfation to the beauty and to the
variety of the Chevalier's ftud, and
were of courſe informed, that fcarcely
one night paffed in which fome one
or other of theſe generous creatures
was not almoft ridden to death, by
fome evil fpirit, or incubus. Holly-
buſh, mountain aſh, and red thread,
with a thouſand other exorcifms, had
been tried in vain; infomuch that the
Chevalier entertained thoughts of
pulling down his princely ftables, and
building new ones faft by the fide of
an old decayed chapel, and, for the
greater fafety, even
even to encroach a
little on the confecrated ground.
I boldly
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
53
I boldly undertook to exorcife the
devil. I was affured, that a protec-
tion, and even encouragement, to ſtroll
throughout the whole county of Cum-
berland ſhould reward fo great and
good an action. It was now reported
by the fervants to the land ſteward
himſelf, that the gypſey doctor, whom
they confeffed they had privately
entertained, had undertaken to exor-
cife the evil ſpirit that haunted the
ftables. The land fteward chid them
for their audacity, but gave me leave
to make a trial of my ſkill and power.
He winked at the refidence of the
gypfies, fo near the ball (fo the noble
feat was called), who now creeped out
of their holes, and reforted even to
the environs of the kitchen.
There is a fungous
a fungous fubftance
formed by the foam of the fea, and
D 3
the
54
MAMMUTH; OR,
the influence of the fun and air, the
moft fubtle of all chemical menftrua,
well known to the vulgar on the coafts
of Scotland, under the name of fea-
fyke. This fubftance, dried and pulve-
rized, forms a pungent powder which
poffeffes a ſtrong power of pricking
and blistering, thence denominated
fea-fyke, becaufe flipped, by mifchie-
vous boys, into the fmall clothes of
their comrades, it makes them fidge,
or in the Scotch dialect, fyke. I quickly
provided myſelf abundance of this
fubftance, and fcattered it for ſeveral
nights on the backs of the horſes.
The monkey, by the agitation of his
poſteriors, when he went to take his
ride, gave full efficacy to the medicine,
which bliftered and afflicted him very
feverely. He foon gave over his tricks,
and became afraid even to come near
an horſe, or to look him in the face.
Several
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
55
Several nights had now elapfed, and
no harm had happened to the horſes.
I declared that the devil was now ex-
orcifed, and that he would no more
appear in the ſtables; adding, that I
would return within eight days, to fee
whether there were any new com-
plaints. I received five guineas from
the land ſteward, with affurances that
if I would do fo, and that the miracle
fhould hold, I fhould receive other
five. I fprinkled the horſes backs
again with the powder, and' retired
with the reſt of our company to the
environs of Whitehaven, where our
reputation waxed greater and greater
every day. At the end of eight days
I returned to the ball, where I found
all well. I received five guineas more,
according to promife, with farther
affurances of being more liberally re-
warded by the Chevalier, when he
fhould
D 4
56
MAMMUTH; OR,
ſhould return from Yorkshire. I lept
in the ftable, at my own defire, as
ufual, although I had an offer of a
good bed in the houſe. And, left
eaſe ſhould recant vows made in pain,
I adminiſtered in a ſweet cake, which
I gave to the monkey, a poiſon, that
fecured my miracle, by putting an
end, in the courfe of a few days, to
his exiftence. I returned to White-
haven, where I was fecretly fent for,
and confulted by the firft people
in the town on every
every fubject. I
had begun to entertain thoughts of
fettling here, in the character of a
profeffed conjurer, when I received a
letter from the land fteward, ad-
dreffed "To the Doctor of the
Gypfies, at the Corn kilns, on the
left-hand of the road as you begin
to enter into the town of White-
haven."
Şir,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 57
"Sir,
"The Chevalier has returned in
"bad humour from Yorkſhire, where
matters have gone very croſs
"to his inclinations.
Being in-
"formed that the devil was driven
"from the horſes,
horfes, he feemed
"well pleaſed, and faid, that you
"might freely range over all this
county. But being told that his
“friend, the monkey, was dead, he
"fwore that it had affuredly been
"6
your enchantments that had killed
"him, and that he would have been
"fooner damn'd than purchaſe the
"C
"6
fafety of a few brute beafts at ſo
dear a rate. I am forry to inform
you farther, that whenever he can
light on you he has refolved to
"fhoot you. He is a great man for
fighting, and has had very many
66
66
66
❝ duels.
I would therefore adviſe
"you,
D 5
58
MAMMUTH; or,
you, as a friend, to make the beſt
"s of your way out of this neigh-
"bourhood, being your well-
"wifher. A. C."
I did not know whether to be
vexed, or to laugh at this ftrange
epiftle. But being affured by every
body whom I confulted on the ſub-
ject, that the Chevalier was no better
than a furious madman; we judged
it prudent to decamp. In the courfe
of our peregrinations, in which no-
thing happened worthy of being re-
lated, we came to the nobleman's
houſe above mentioned, in which a
young man, about twenty years of
age, entertained in quality of private
tutor, ſuffered great perfecution from
a maiden lady about forty, his lord-
fhip's fifter. This noble virgin treated
the tutor with contempt and diſdain,
and
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
59
and ſet herſelf to give him pain not
only by neglect, but pofitive and
ftudied acts of mortification, for no
other reaſon than that he was a per-
fon of low extraction.
D 6
60
MAMMUTH; OR,
CHA P. IV.
We perform more Miracles.
AS all the family witneffed the
unkindneſs of lady Abigail to
the unfortunate tutor, it was not a
wonder that this came to our ears,
fince we made it our very firſt buſi-
nefs, wherever we came, to inquire
minutely into the character and fitua-
tion of every mortal around us. On
this occafion, the deputies from our
company to the caftle where this noble
lady lived, were, my partner the
queen of the gypfies, the oldeſt man
of our fraternity, and myfelf. Hav-
ing remained at the caftle for two
days prudently filent, we began on
the third, according to our custom,
to
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 61
to unfold to our numerous votaries
The
the mysteries of fate. Among the
reft, came the youth diftinguiſhed by
the frowns of the ancient lady.
queen of the gypfies herſelf did him
the honour to examine him in private,
and to predict his fortune; fhe
affured him, that he fhould infallibly
become the huſband of the very lady
who was his tormentor, and con-
firmed her prediction by a detail of
many circumſtances familiar to the
tutor, but which he never dreamed
that the gypfies could learn otherwiſe
than by divination. For the predic-
tion was fo bold and unexpected,
that it overwhelmed his powers of
reflection, and raviſhed him by
its very improbability. His am-
bition, and his defire towards the
lady, were now awakened by the
hope of gratification. An air of
eafy
62
MAMMUTH; OR,
eafy confidence and complaifance
began now to give dignity and grace
to the carriage of Mr. Montgomery,
for that was the name of the tutor,
who even dared, by the expreffion of
his eyes, to fignify to lady Abigail
the foft wishes of his enamoured
foul.
In the mean time, the refponſe of
the Egyptian oracle being carried in
whiſpers through the whole ſcale of
female domeftics, up even to the ears
of her ladyship, a wonderful change
was viſible in her deportment to the
tutor. A ſharp reprimand to the
butler for neglecting to attend to the
wants of Mr. Montgomery as he fat
at fupper, announced to the whole
family her ſoftened heart, and pro-
cured credit and kindneſs to the
gypfies. What needs many words?
6
The
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
63
The Blackfmith of Gretna Green,
within the ſpace of a month, drove
them together by the holy nail of
matrimony, of which they realifed
the emblem with equal vigour and
tranſport, forgetful of ancient ani-
mofities, and indulging the pleafing
hope of unabated fidelity and affec-
tion. A confiderable fortune in the
poffeffion of the lady, and an eaſy
temper, with many rich church livings
in the gift of her noble brother, jufti-
fied my diſtinguiſhed partner for
forming as fignal and happy a miracle
as is to be found in all the tricks
and wiles of Vulcan or of Venus.
per-
Had the prophetefs predicted that
Mr. Montgomery fhould wed my
lady's companion, or the daughter of
fome neighbouring clergyman, the
very feaſibility of the prognoftication
might
64
MAMMUTH; OR,
might have induced him to treat it
with indifference. His mind, taken
by furpriſe, yielded to the pleafing
illufions of the imagination, which
paffion foon converted into expecta-
tion. The lady too was in like
manner ſurpriſed into captivity to the
general influence of all-conquering
love. She now beheld the humble
tutor as a young gentleman of a
cultivated mind and amiable manners,
deftined by providence to fhare her
affections and fortune. The whole
fufceptibility of her heart was centered
on this youth; and love flowed with
a current exactly proportioned to her
former averfion.
When any perſon, but efpecially
one of a fedentary and folitary life,
from fome light and whimſical caufe,
happens to conceive a diflike at any
creature,
+6
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
65
or ir-
creature, whether rational
rational, it eaſily fettles into an in-
veterate habit, the animal fpirits
having a tendency on all ordinary
occafions to run in their accuſtomed
direction; there is, therefore, no fuch
thing as freeing the mind from the
influence of any particular paffion, or
its evil effects, but by the infufion of
another. If it is an oppofite paffion,
fo much the better. But that the
newly infufed paffion fhould be op-
poſite is not abfolutely neceffary; it
is enough, in moft cafes, if it be dif-
ferent. It ferves as a new canal to
drain off the inveterate humour. The
old canal is gradually impregnated
with new feeds; and herbs, and
vegetable mould fill it up, and render
it equal to the ſurface of the adjacent
plain. As a revulfion in the bodily
fluids, occafioned by fea ficknefs, or
fome
66
MAMMUTH; OR,
fome other caufe, often effects the
moft furpriſing bodily cures; fo when
the mind is ftrongly occupied and
agitated by a new paffion, it furveys
the objects of former paffions and
prejudices in a new light, and wonders
at its own unreaſonableneſs and folly.
How mild and gentle, and eafy to be
intreated, are thofe paffionate and
peevish maſters and miftreffes to their
dependants and domeftics when they
are under the influence of fudden and
lively joy or forrow, hope or fear?
Even madmen talk fenfibly on thoſe
fubjects that have not taken too faſt
an hold of their imaginations; and
when fome important incident calls
off and ſhifts their fancy, they think
with fobriety, for the time, on the
very ſubject of their madneſs.
very worthy man, an innkeeper in
one of the towns on the eaſt coaſt of
A
Scotland,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
67
Scotland, was married to a worthy,
as well as a comely woman, of
whom he was unfortunately, and
without the leaft caufe, habitually
jealous. But when any fudden emer-
gency, whether adverſe or profperous,
fhifted his attention from its ufual
object, he enjoyed the moft perfect
complacency in his amiable ſpouſe
and lovely children. From all this,
it follows as a corollary, that an
active, bustling, and even boisterous
life, is the moft fitted to preſerve or
reſtore foundneſs of mind in nervous
conftitutions.
I fhall here relate a fimilar
miracle, which we performed
not long after, on the minds of
Mrs. Pickle and Tom Clout, the
first houſekeeper, the fecond wag-
goner to Sir Roger O'Rymple, who
lived
68
MAMMUTH; or,
lived on the borders of the county
palatine of Lancaſter. Mrs. Pickle
was a little maiden gentlewoman
about fifty, thin, fkinny, and lean;
precife and nice in every thing, but
anxious about the cleannefs of the
houſe to a degree bordering on mad-
nefs. Tom Clout, a tall robuft looby,
about five-and-twenty years old, was
accuſtomed to walk without ceremony
into the houſekeeper's room with
various articles, which it was a part
of his buſineſs to bring occafionally
from a town about ten miles diftant.
It is eaſy to conceive with what de-
gree of complacency this eafe of Tom
Clout was taken by Mrs. Pickle.
Pokers, tongs, tea cups, and even
pôts de chambres difcharged at Tom's
head, declared the awakened wrath
of an ancient maiden. In imitation
of the miracle lately performed in the
neighbour-
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
69
neighbouring county of Cumberland,
after confulting with the moft expe-
rienced and intelligent of the gypfies,
I adventured to make a pneumatical
experiment on Mrs. Pickle and Tom
Clout. Being confulted on the grand
buſineſs by the houſekeeper, I was
extremely fhy, and though money
was offered, I begged hard to be
excufed. Mrs. Pickle's importunity
kept pace with my affected reluc-
tance; but before I would confent to
diſcloſe the fecrets of fate, written
clearly, in hieroglyphics, in the
palms of her hands, I exacted a
written promife of pardon if I fhould
offend her. What needs many words?
The experiment fucceeded. The
houſekeeper diſcovered latent charms
in the rofy cheeks, white teeth, and
ftrong limbs of Clout, and Tom
faw many conveniencies, as well as
great
70
MAMMUTH; OR,
great honour in an union with the
houſekeeper. It was the lady that
began, and was the moft active in
carrying on to its juft completion the
courtship. But which of them took
the lead in all thofe little matters
ufually confequent on the ceremony
of marriage, I have not been in-
formed, nor is it very material to
inquire: It is fufficient for my preſent
purpoſe to obſerve, that this cere-
mony was actually performed between
this extraordinary pair within lefs
than three weeks after it was pre-
dicted. Sir Roger, who was a mighty
good natured man, and loved a joke,
fettled Mr. and Mrs. Clout in a
little farm adjoining to his park, and
made him at the fame time, overſeer
of a very valuable rabbit-warren. A
fplendid wedding feaft was given
by Sir Roger to all the neighbour-
ing
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 7 l
ing peaſants, farmers, and gentry,
who were infinitely entertained by
the incongruous figures that had been
cemented in melting love by the
magical power of the gypfies.
fong, I have fince been informed, has
been made by fome ruftics in their
merry freaks, on that memorable oc-
cafion.
A
I.
Stale Pickle thump'd poor Tom about,
That was to ſay, come kifs me Clout:
So fifter cats, that would be doing,
With yells and ſcratching grace their wooing.
II.
Tom bore it all, for Tom's no fool,
Now lord of many a coney-hole;
He cares not tho' his rib prove barren,
Prolific is his rabbit-warren.
Theſe
72
MAMMUTH; OR,
Theſe are all that I remember of the
lines compofed by the ruftics; the
reft were in the fame ftrain, and of
courfe, not worth rehearsing if I
could.
Our company, who took care to be
prefent, as they had a very good title,
were fplendidly entertained at this
feftival, and treated with great re-
ſpect. The prediction of the union,
which was then celebrated, being cre-
dibly reported to a nobleman who
happened to be prefent, he fent a con-
fidential fervant, who had been his
father's groom, and was now his own,
defiring an interview with the gypſey
doctor, in a fequeftered glen, fome
miles diftant from the ſcene of the
wedding. I met his Grace at the
time and place appointed. His fer-
vant waited at a diſtance with the
horſes.
!
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
73
horfes. Walking forth from a thicket
into a lawn formed by the retiring
fides of the dell, he looked eagerly
around him, and ftood ftill, as if
watching to hear fome diftant found.
When he was convinced that he was
without the reach of any human ear
or eye, he beckoned to me (for at his
defire I had remained under the cover
of an hazel buſh) to approach him.
"Young man," faid he, "
you have
probably heard of the name of the
and of the active
part he takes, whether in or out
"of office, in whatever is going on
"in Great Britain, Ireland, or
"France. I am diſtracted by a thou-
"fand interfering doubts, and op-
pofite conjectures with regard to
ſubjects of the laſt importance.
"Human affairs are fo complicated,
"and the minds of men fo fluctuat-
C
"D-e of
6(
't
"C
VOL. I.
Ε
"6
ing
MAM MUTH; OR,
"ing and inconftant, that I find it
"impoffible to predict the future
"from the paft, or to foretell with
certainty the refult of any meaſure.
"The unheard-of and ludicrous mar-
"riage, which we yeſterday wit-
"neffed, has excited in me a curio-
"C
fity of converfing and confulting
"with you on a matter, the iffue of
"which is not only interefting to
"the British nation, but alſo not a
"little connected with my own
private views and fortune." Here
he propofed his queftion, to which,
without the fmalleft heſitation, I
anſwered. But as I wholly omitted
the ufual forms of incantation and
chiromancy, his Grace betrayed a dif-
fatisfaction in his countenance, which
I perfectly understood. Emboldened
by this mark of weakneſs in the
noble ſtateſman, and fired with a
degree
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
75
degree of indignation and contempt,
I ſpoke to the following purpoſe:
"Different, and even oppoſite cauſes,
66
st
my Lord, fometimes produce the
"fame effects. As elevation pro-
" duces eaſe and confidence of be-
"haviour on the one hand, ſo de-
"preffion of fortune infpires, when
"it is extreme, boldnefs on the other.
"The king who cannot be greater,
"and the beggar who cannot be lefs,
"finds, each of them in his ftation,
"circumftances which encourage
whenever he pleaſes, to
affume that freedom which be-
ઃઃ comes a man. The wide difference
"of our fortunes, eſpecially in this
"folitude, where all artificial diftinc-
❝tions vaniſh for a time from our fight,
" him,
places us on equal ground, fince
“I can neither add to your dignity,
nor you to my neceflities and wants.
"I am
"c
E 2
76
MAMMUTH; OR,
<<
"I am forry, my Lord, to find that
a perfon who is appointed by his
majefty to an office of fuch import-
ance as that which you now hold,
"ſhould be ſubject to the power of
"vulgar weakneſs and ſuperſtition.
"The marriage you mention was,
"indeed, predicted by me with con-
fidence. There was
There was no inconfider-
"able chance, that the very fingular
improbability of my reſponſe, aided
"by the fteps I took beforehand,
"which were calculated to roufe the
"c
(6
powers of the mind, and render it
"fufceptible of impreffions, the con-
"fidence of my air, and the curioſity
"and longing defire of an healthful
"old maiden, would verify, as in fact
'
they did, my bold prediction. But if
"it had proved falfe, there was no
66
It is with our prog-
great matter.
"noftications as it is with adventurers
<< in
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
77
(6
((
"in the lottery; for one that is
"lucky feveral are unfortunate. But
"the former are talked of, and make
a great noife, while the latter are
"foon buried in oblivion. Yet, my
Lord, it would be doing injuftice
to the gypfies to affirm, that in
the reſponſes they iffue, they are
guided merely by random. No.
They are directed by many tra-
"ditionary maxims or proverbs, fome
"of which may, indeed, have arifen
"from multiplied experience and
"obfervation; but others, in my
"6 opinion, are to be traced back to
"ancient philofophy: for there are
<<
<<
many of them, like the doctrines
"of free-mafonry, which are only
"to be refolved into the deepeſt in-
<<
fight into the nature of the human
"mind. There are many maxims,
"it is true, to be found in ancient as
E 3
"well
78
MAMMUTH; OR,
"well as modern authors, which would
"conduct men to the wifhed-for goal
"both in public and private life. Men
"commit errors in both, not through
"want of intellectual power, but
་་
from want of attention. A trite
proverb has no weight in itſelf,
"but it is often the foundation of
"the refponfes made by the gypfies:
"and would men but give as much
"credit to the proverbs themſelves as
to the reſponſes to which they give
r
birth, they would not be governed,
"fo much as they would govern
"Fortune. And men of elevated
"flations would, by their forefight
"and power over the minds of men,
prove beyond all doubt that politics
may be reduced to a fcience. The
"anfwer I made to your Grace's
queftion was founded on a fimple
"proverb, importing that what every
6.6 body
(6
at
66
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
79
66
body fays must be true.
The com-
mon people frequently judge more
foundly concerning the general
"refult of any particular juncture
"than the actors themfelves, in thofe
"fcenes which pafs under review. As
you form a jufter idea of the general
"contour and appearance of a moun-
“tain at a diſtance, than when you
are funk in its cavities; and as you
<<
can, in like manner, form a juſter
"idea of the extent and relative fitua-
"tion of a wood when you ftand on
""
a diftant plain, than when you are
"involved in its mazes; fo an in-
"different ſpectator oft-times thinks
"more juftly of the bufy fcenes of
"the world, than the moſt profound
"politicians, whofe paffions are in-
"flamed, and in whoſe imaginations,
"for that reaſon, certain things ap-
pear greater than they are in
46
£ 4.
"
reality,
80
MAMMUTH; OR,
re
"(
If you
reality, and others lefs.
can by minute and laborious in-
veftigation fully grafp and com-
"prehend any particular object;
"then, if the object be of import-
<<
ance, immerfe yourſelf in minute
"and laborious inveftigation. If, on
"the contrary, it be of fo compli-
"cated a nature as to elude all in-
66
""
""
quiry and calculation, judge of it
by an intuitive glance: for fo fhall
its most prominent features and
"proportions ftrike the eye like a
miniature picture, and you will
"avoid the errors incident to a nar-
"row and partial view of a great and
"unbounded object. The world,
"my Lord, has long forefeen the
"iffue of the conjuncture concerning
"which you inquire: and in defer-
ence to their opinion, not from any
"magical fkill, I have predicted what
C
" will
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
81
"will infallibly come to paſs;-you
"will be furprized, my Lord Duke,
"continued I, at theſe fentiments in
"the mouth of a gypfey; but know
"that, under the diſguiſe of a tinker,
"I am both a ſcholar and a gentle-
"man."
Here I threw afide the blanket that
had concealed my holiday clothes,
which, at the requeft of my amiable
fpoufe, I had put on, pro tempore,
for the purpoſe of the prefent inter-
view, and was proceeding to give an
account of myfelf, when the noble
peer of different realms, roufed by
the new appearance I made, from a
reverie which I had miſtaken for
favourable attention, and recollecting
the terms which I had applied to my-
ſelf of ſcholar and gentleman, re-
E 5
plied:
82
MAMMUTH; OR,
plied: "I thought you was a Scotch-
"man by the gibberish you have
"been talking. I have paid very
"little attention to a difcourfe that E
"foon found to ſmell of OAT-MEAL.
"Do not imagine, young man, that
"I have been liftening to your non-
• fenfe. No, no. I have been think-
"ing of other matters:" continuing
to draw figures, on the fandy beach
of the rivulet that ran through the
dell, of falient and rentrant angles,
and demilunes and baftions, and fo
forth. "It would ill become me,
"who have inftructed the Houfe of
"Peers for whole hours together, to
"lend an ear to an idle vagabond."
"I beg your Grace's pardon," ſaid
1, " but I hope there is nothing I
"have faid that can difgrace a ſtroll-
"ing tinker, the character in which
"you
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
83
you appointed me to wait on you,
"and the ground on which we
"met."
His Grace, by this time, had begun
to walk off, but hearing what I had
faid in a firm tone of voice, and with
an undaunted mien, he turned ſhort,
and faid: "No. You fhan't get
"the better of me in argument nei-
❝ther. The ground on which I
4.6
66
66
expected to meet you was not that
"of your being a tinker, but a ma-
gician, an aftrologer, or a chiro-
mancer, or fome fuch character, in
"the garb of a tinker. Nor did this
fuppofition argue any deficiency in
judgment, as you, in the exordium
"of your oration, took upon you to
affert, fince you yourſelf confefs,
"or, which is the fame thing to my
purpoſe (fince it is a good argumen-
E 6
66 tune
84
MAMMUTH; OR,
"tum ad hominem), pretend to be a
<<
gentleman and a ſcholar. I con-
"feſs, I am wholly diſappointed. But
"here is half a crown to you for the
trouble I have given you. I would
give you a guinea, but I am afraid
"of two things: firft, left fuch a
"fum, in your poffeffion, might con-
"firm any rumour that may be
ſpread by my enemies, of my
having confulted the gypfies; and
ſecondly, left you ſhould be brought
"into trouble by fufpicions of your
"having acquired it by difhoneft
66
<<
66
"6
"
means."—" O!" faid I, "I will
remove all your Grace's difficulties
66 on both theſe heads, without fo
"much as fpeaking one word; and
"I will be judged by your Grace's
underſtanding; I will appeal to
your Grace's honour whether I do
"not remove them effectually, and
"C
"in
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
85
" in this manner."-"What?" faid
he, without faying one word ?”—
"Yes."-" You will convince me,
"that my giving you a guinea might
"not tend either to confirm any fur-
"miſe that might be maliciouſly
"raiſed of my having confulted a
"chiromancer, or to lay you under
a fufpicion of theft or robbery ?"
66
<<
Yes, by all the powers of heaven,
"and earth, and hell, without ſaying
6 one word."
My difputant was now all atten-
tion, and I began to make a thouſand
grimaces, geftures, and figns, and to
repeat ſome ſentences in the language
of the gypfies. I then took up my
blanket, from one of the folds of
which I took out and difplayed before
the peer
of peerless pertinacity, nine-
teen guineas and an half, eleven
crowns,
86
MAMMUTH; OR,
crowns, and feven half crowns, be-
fides a few fhillings I carried in my
breeches pocket; and at the fame
time, I ftared him full in the face.
"If you have deftroyed one argu-
"ment against my giving you a
guinea," faid the peer, you have
"raifed up another ftill ftronger in
"its ftead; fo that I have ftill the
"better of you in logic, fince it may
"be juſtly affirmed that your laſt ar-
66
66
ct
gument proves too much. You prove,
"indeed, that my precaution againſt
"the ills to be apprehended from
"C
your poffeffion of a concrete fum
❝ of one-and-twenty fhillings is
"wholly uſeleſs. But I open a new
"battery against you, thus: either
"" you are poor, or you are rich. If
you are poor, and reputed to be
poor, the poffeffion of money muft
"lay you under fufpicions, and lead
66 you
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
87
&6
66
you into difficulties; if
rich, you have no need
"ceffion to your wealth.
"6
""
you oppofe to this fair
you are
of any ac-
What can
dilemma ?”
"The fum juft difplayed," I
anſwered," is, in truth, not my
own, but the company's to whom
"I am treaſurer. And though it
"would indeed place me far above
want, were it my own property, I
*
'
66
cr
am accountable for it to our fociety,
"who will, doubtlefs, expect that the
common ſtock will not be dimi-
"niſhed by this interview. Their
"expectations are raiſed to the higheſt
pitch by the accounts they have
"heard of the royalty of your defcent,
"the largenefs of your fortune, and
"the number of your titles. Inftead
"of being benefited by this confer-
ence, I fear that I fhall incur fuf-
picion and diftruft.
I fhall be
(6
"turned
88
A
MAMMUTH; OR,
"turned out of the treafury. Good
my Lord! do not overwhelm me
"with your dialectical powers; for
"if you ſhould be inclined to difpute,
"who could ſtand against you? Con-
"fider that the fum I have fhewn to
66
you, though great did it belong
to one man, is but ſmall when
"divided among upwards of thirty
perfons, including women and
"children, certainly not the moft
independent part of mankind.
66
t
CC
I
am confident that a philofopher of
your Grace's capacity and fkill in
argumentation, although you could
"contrive fome argument againſt
"what I have now urged, could alfo,
"were you fo inclined, invent fome-
thing plaufible in its favour."
His Grace, foftened by thefe com-
pliments, was pleafed to fay, that if
he
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
89
he had but time to fet the fubtlety of
his intellect in logical motion, there
might, perhaps, be found fome plau-
fible colouring for what I had juſt
advanced; but that he had made it
a general rule never to yield up an
argument, or abandon a refolution.
However, you may tell your
gang," faid he, "that if they uſe
you ill, I will have them put in
feparate prifons; and well fortified
prifons, you may tell them, if
"I am long in office, they fhall
“be, and from which they ſhall
66
ce
66
not be able, by all their tricks and
"wiles, to make their eſcape." I
now attempted to bend him to my
purpoſe by touching another firing.
66
My Lord Duke, I cannot anſwer
"for the difcretion of my friends,
in keeping the fecret of this inter-
"view, if they are not brought over
" to
90
MAMMUTH; OR,
،
"
to your fide by, at leaft, half a
guinea, or thereabouts."
"O!"
faid he, walking off," there is no-
body that will mind whatever a
65
lying gypfey may fay. They may
"talk as they pleafe, nobody will
(6
give credit to them." My Cale-
donian blood began now to boil, and,
tranfported with contempt and indig-
nation, I exclaimed, "You pitiful,
"low, mean, contemptible fc-1!" I
refumed my blanket, put on my rag-
ged hat, and brandishing my walk-
ing-ſtick, followed cloſe at his heels,
hollowing in his ear, "Lord R-n!
"Lord R-n! Nell Gwynn! Nell
""
Gwynn! The prot-t wh-e!
"The prot-t wh-re! You a logi-
"cian! Lord Loughborough! Lord
Loughborough! you a pleader in
"parliament? d-'me, although the
peers obferve fome decency, be-
" caufe
"C
66
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
92
"cauſe it is the faſhion in their Houſe,
<<
"if
you were a member of the Houſe
"of Commons, if the power of the
"fpeaker, and the ferjeant with all his
janiffaries, or janitors, or what the
"d-l do you call them, could ſtop
"the members from running out to
"their dinner, like fo many fchool
66
boys when the mafter, at one
"o'clock, cries Ite pranfum. Halloo!
" Ite pranfum.
"All the dogs are dancing.”
With theſe and other incoherent ef-
fufions I purſued the duke, who fled
before me down the dell, until I came
within fight of his horfes, who ſhook
their heads as if they had been
afhamed of their mafter. This, as
paffion draws every thing into its
own vortex, I really believed for a
moment
92
MAMMUTH; OR,
moment to be the cafe, and cried out,
"D-n you, your own horfes are
"ahamed of you." It did not
occur to me, in that moment of
madneſs, that to brute animals, with-
out any diſcrimination of character,
it was a matter of perfect indifference
whether they were beftrode by the
Duke of R-d, or the D-e of
P-d.
I judged it prudent to ſtop ſhort
before I came up with his Grace's
fervant, who had a large Newfound-
land dog with him, left, if they had
all three fet upon me, I ſhould have
been vanquished.
I determined to
wind my courſe, the beſt way I could,
back through the wood, another way.
This I did, though not without in-
finite difficulty and delay, fo that it
was dark before I reached our com-
pany.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
93
pany. My long abfence had excited
an apprehenfion in thofe worthy
people, that the Duke, difcovering fo
much merit as they conceived me to
poffefs, would infift on my quitting
my vagrant mode of life, and carry-
ing me along with him, beftow fome
little office on me under government.
My lovely fpoufe, as I was after-
wards informed by an old man on
whom we had beflowed the endearing
name of father of the company, fhed
abundance of tears, and forely re-
pented that he had dreffed me out in
my Sunday clothes, to fuch advan-
tage.
I had no fooner come out of the
wood into the open fields, than I
defcried a pillar of fmoke, the ufual
fignal to their meffengers and forag-
ers, which directed my ſteps back to
the
94
MAMMUTH; OR,
the tinkers. I was overcome with
fatigue, and uneafy under the appre-
henfion that I might be fufpected of
having concealed the prefent they
might imagine I had received from
the Duke. But thoſe affectionate
beings welcomed my return with
rapture. I had ftrained my ankle,
and in clambering over fome rocks,
received fome contufions which were.
not a little painful. They brought
warm water and bathed my feet;
and after taking fuch refreshment as
was in the camp, I went immediate-
ly, at the requeft of the whole com-
pany, to reft. Nor would they fuffer
me to give any account, for that even-
ing, of what had paffed between my-
felf and the Duke. My ſpouſe brought
a crufe of oil, and having warmed
it, gently rubbed my body all over
with her foft hand, in order, as fhe
faid,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 95
The
faid, to promote the circulation of the
blood, and to diffipate bad humours.
I aſked where fhe had learned this
mode of cure? fhe anſwered, That
it had been practifed for time imme-
morial by the gypfies. I recollected
that the fame thing was common
among the Gentoos in the Eaft Indies.
This, with other practices among the
gypfies, as well as figns and maxims,
are evidently of eaſtern origin.
operation was pleafant, and the effect
was falutary. For early in the morn-
ing I awoke perfectly recruited.
we fat at breakfaſt on the fragments
that had been brought from Tom
Clout's wedding, I gave an account
of all that paffed in the glen, and pro-
duced, with many prayers for miſchief
to the duke, his half-crown. Hufh,
hufh, child! faid the father of the
company; it is a wonder that he
did not put you off with a fhilling, as
6
As
you
96
MAMMUTH; OR,
66
you gave him no fatisfaction. It is
a maxim among the gypfies, "Giff
"gaff jabyr hehul jalgo," which,
being interpreted, is as much as to
fay, " If
you want aught of a great
man, give before you get." It is
in vain to expect that a great lord,
continued our father, will ever ſuffer
the idea of a poor man to intrude
itſelf into his mind, unlefs he
wants fomething of him. He muft
be an inftrument in his hand,
of gratifying fome paffion or other.
It is not from the great, child, that
we have collected all that treafure
we have confided to you; nor yet
from the opulent. "Ulfram churr
"toom haffin ghurr," that is to fay,
"If his heart is forry, though his
purſe be empty." In profecution
of this maxim, the gypfies make it
their buſineſs to find out where any
perfon
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
97
perfon has ſuffered any great loſs,
and confiders himſelf to be in danger
of beggary and impriſonment; be-
cauſe, in fuch moods, men are apt to
give a little of what they have to the
poor, conceiving that they themſelves
may foon be in fimilar circumftances.
But there is another proverb of the
gypfies which, at firft, appears to be
inconfiftent with that of "Ulfram
"churr toom haffin ghurr," though
it is not fo in reality. "Churr ul-
"fram glyd churr fpeeren blyd,”
that is, "Beg when his heart is fad,
"and beg alfo when it is merry."
Hence the practice of their attending
funerals and weddings; hence, alfo,
the practice of mountebanks, who
are of the fame origin with the
gypsies, putting the people always in
good humour by jokes, by tricks and
tumblings, before they offer to vend
VOL. I.
F
their
98
MAMMUTH; OR,
their medicines. The merchants,
at the different fairs in Europe about
three hundred years ago, or lefs, uſed
the fame precautions. It feems odd
that laughter and forrow, oppofite
extremes, fhould produce the fame
effect. But all extremes are nearly
allied, and ready to run into matri-
monial and prolific embraces. Theſe
then are ſome of the maxims of the
wandering tribe, with regard to beg-
ging, which I learned from the father
of our company, on the occaſion I
have juſt mentioned.
I, at first, was afhamed to beg,
and, indeed, during the whole courfe
of my peregrinations, I could never
effectually overcome this vulgar and
foolish prejudice. If you can get
any thing for the aſking, faid this
good old man, Gabor, nay, for in-
treating,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
99
treating, in troth I think you have a
cheap purchaſe. Confider, fon, that
the very thing that appears to you
low and diſhonourable in humble
life, in higher ftations is eſteemed
a proof of polite addrefs, of uncom-
mon abilities, and extraordinary ac-
compliſhments. Do not advocates
befeech and implore both judges and
jury in behalf of their clients? Do
not men of fortune implore the
minifters of the crown for offices?
And men of the highest quality,
pleading poverty, folicit penfions ?
It is only the fmallneſs of the fum,
or boon, whatever it be, in queſtion,
that makes the difference: and the
tinkers and beggars are accounted
impudent on account of their modefty.
It is even fo in other things. If a
poor man ſteal a fheep or a goat, he
is hanged with infinite folemnity. If
a daring
F 2
100
MAMMUTH; OR,
a daring peculator fpoils diftant pro-
vinces, he bribes his judges, he
huſhes inquiry, he defeats juftice,
and is accounted a gentleman. In
like manner, if you deforce a fheriff's
officer, and give him a flight wound,
you are hanged upon the black act.
If you raiſe an army, feize fome
ftrong-hold, and enter into alliance,
or correfpondence with foreign and
hoftile nations, you make advan-
tageous and honourable terms with
government.
I readily affented to the reafoning
of this fublime genius, who united,
by a glance of his eye, things, in ap-
pearance extremely diftant.
Such were the inftructions I re-
ceived from the venerable old man,
whom I fhall diftinguiſh by the
name
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
ΙΟΙ
name of the principal of the
gypfies.
Very different from the treatment
I met with from the duke, was that
which I received from a fhoemaker,
whom I alfo met with at Tom's
wedding, who very kindly invited
my lady and myſelf to ſpend a day
or two with him in his cottage, in
the neighbourhood; he had fome
horns to diſpoſe of, of which we
made fpoons and cups in winter. His
cottage was fituated on the margin
of a ſmall lake, at the diftance of a
quarter of a mile from the great road
that leads from Carlifle to Penrith,
and at the diſtance of about half a mile
from any town or village. A few
acres of ground which he rented, the
privilege of fiſhing for eels, and other
fmall fishes on the lake, with the
F 3.
produce
102
MAMMUTH; OR,
produce of his calling, enabled this
philofophical cobler to live with eaſe,
and with decent hofpitality.
He
exerciſed, by turns, the vocations of
an hufbandman, of a fifher, and of a
cobler. We arrived at his humble
manſion in the evening. "You are
"welcome, ftrangers," faid he, "to
my houſe. But luxury has made
great ftrides fince the fong was firſt
compofed
ek
"
$6
A cobler there was, and he lived in a ſtall,
That ferv'd him for parlour, for kitchen
and hall-
"For, befides a ftall, I have both
"a parlour and a kitchen. Step in,
"and you fhall fee the firft; as to
"the fecond, pleaſe God, you fhall,
by and by, be fatisfied of its exiſt-
ence by an appeal to another ſenſe
"than that of feeing." On entering
"<
""
this
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
103
this parlour, I was ftruck with a
fpectacle which announced to me, at
once, that I had the good fortune to
be received under the roof of a philo-
fopher, and an humourift, as well as
of an hofpitable man. A ſkeleton of
gigantic dimenfions, fixed in a corner
of the room, ferved as a cafe for a
clock of which he himſelf had been
the artificer. Glafs beads, placed in
the fockets of the eyes, and moved
by the motion of the pendulum,
ftruck the ſurpriſed fpectator with
horror. "That," fays he, "is the
"ſkeleton of my grandfather, which
"I made with the affiftance of a poor
"ftudent from Edinburgh. I have
"fitted up a clock in the midſt of it,
"which ferves at once as a memento
"mori, and to meaſure time. This
"fkeleton I call the minifter, becauſe
"he preaches, in his tick tack way,
"and
F 4
104
MAMMUTH; OR,
and the ſerious expreffion of his
eyes and countenance, many a
"ferious fermon. Scarcely any oc-
"currence happens, or paffion arifes,
"but one look of the minifter pro-
duces the happieſt effect.”
""
We had not well recovered the
ſhock which this fight had occafioned,
when a lovely young woman came
fmiling into the room, with an infant
in her arms, about two years of age.
After a few kind falutations to us, fhe
held up her little girl to the ſkeleton ;
whofe rueful mouth the child kiffed
with great cordiality, and fhook both
its hands, faying, "Dood night dand
"dada.' A boy of four years faid
diftinctly at the fame time, "Good
night grandfather." "Theſe are
<6
our children," faid this wonderful
artificer in leather, "they, in this
manner,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
105
"
(6
manner, falute their grandfather
every evening and every morning.
"That old man whom you fee buſy
"in the garden is my father. He is
"to be placed, after death, by the
"fide of the minifter, and is to be a
"frame for a piece of mechaniſm
"contrived to play fome folemn
"church mufic; fo that he is to be
« precentor or clerk. It is the
certainty, I affure you, that he
"will not be buried in the cold,
"dark, and filent grave, deprived of
"all company, and of the cheerful
6.C
light of the fun, but every day be a
"witneſs of what is going on in his
family, and be embraced by his
66
(6
progeny, that fupports him in that
gay mood, even under the weight
"of near fourſcore years. It was a
"noble art that the Egyptians pof-
"feffed! I mean that of mummy-
“making,
F 5
106
MAMMUTH; OR,
66
66
making, or embalming the dead.
"We are but children to the Egyp-
"tians in the art of making mum-
mies. Dr. Hunter himſelf would
"have been undone in this art by
56 any old nurfe in Egypt. As the
"art of embalming is not wholly
"unconnected with that of tanning
"leather, for we drefs our own
"leather, I have provided a con-
"fiderable number of books on this
"fubject, and a fmall laboratory
"there, at the end of the garden,
st in which I fometimes, with the
"affiftance of my brothers, make a
"few experiments. I do not deſpair
"of feeing the day, or at leaſt that
fome of my pofterity will fee the
"day, when the art of embalm-
"ing the dead will be as well under-
"ftood in this family, as ever it was
"in ancient Egypt. This purfuit,"
continued
36
7
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
107
continued the prince of fhoemakers,
may probably appear to you not a
"little extravagant and whimfical,
"fince ſkeletons have no ſenſe of
"either good or evil.
"if it ferves a good
66
<<
66
But
It is fo.
It is fo.
purpoſe, it is
very excufable. We are not al-
ways, indeed we are very little,
"governed by reafon. We fuffer
greatly from the illufions of ima-
gination; and if we can cheat our-
"felves into a little happineſs by the
"fame means, it is fair and right
"that we ſhould do it.
<<
"The ancient poets," added this
learned worker in leather,
"who
66
<"
were, for the moſt part, Pytha-
goreans, believed that fouls, whether
good or bad, hovered over their
"bodies after death, fo long as they
"remained in any degree free, from
F 6
"corrup-
108
MAMMUTH; OR,
66
(6
corruption and diffipation. The
commentator Servius, explaining
thefe words in the Eneid, relating
"to the funeral of Polydorus-
..
Animamque fepulcro,
Condimus, et magna fupremum voce
ciemus-
fays, that the foul continues near
"the body, and even its afhes, as
long as it can perceive any of its
"remains. This notion is fo ex-
(6
tremely natural, that it preffes on
"the mind, and conftantly recurs,
"after all our repeated efforts to
"difmifs it. The rude tribes of
"mankind, particularly, are un-
"able to conceive a total feparation
"of foul and body. Wherever the
body lies, the foul, they think,
"with all its paffions and propenfi-
"ties, will ftill cling to it. Hence
they even put victuals in the grave
"with
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
109
"with their deceaſed friends. And
"hence, too, in all probability the
"univerſal idea of the foul's immor-
"tality, and the general belief of a
"future refurrection.
<<
<c
"It was to hinder fouls from going
"fooner into other places, that the
Egyptians embalmed,
embalmed, with
with fo
"much care, their dead relations.
Myrrh, with other perfumes, and
bandages of fine linen dipped in
gum, made the inanimate bodies
"of the Egyptians as hard as if they
"had been compofed of marble. I
"cannot help thinking," faid my
fhoemaker," that your countryman,
"Lord Monboddo, inftead of ex-
tr
"6
pofing himſelf, by holding up as
"goſpel all the abfurdities, and even
"confounding the popular with the
philofophical doctrines of ancient
""
Egypt,
ΙΙΟ
MAMMUTH; OR,
«
*
Egypt, would be more ufefully
employed in fearching old Greek
"books for hints refpecting the loft
(6
art of embalming, that cordial of
"death. It is very odd that men
"will perpetually counteract the in-
*tentions of nature.
That man, if
66
ever one, was made for collecting
"bricks and ftones; but nothing leſs
"will ferve him than to be an archi-
❝ te&t.
What is he about now?"
"Having proved," I replied,
"that
in
"all human creatures have four
"fouls, he is now employed
"fearching the records of antiquity,
" in order to fhew, from the wiſdom
"of Egypt, that cats, agreeably to
"the vulgar faying, have nine; for,
"whereas it is faid by foolish wo-
"men, that cats have nine lives, his
lordſhip is to fhew, by his ſkill in
"Greek, that they ought to ſay they
66
"have
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
III
{
"have nine fouls: whence the adora-
"tion paid to thofe animals in
"ancient Egypt."-" Surely," faid
mine hoſt, "he would be better em-
"ployed in inquiries of the mummy
"kind."-Yes," I answered, "he
"would be better employed even in
"tanning the ſkins of cats than in
"ridiculous inquiries about their
"fouls. But as Diogenes, by his
(C
fingularities and whims, became
"the father of a ſchool under the
66
name of the Cynic, or DoG; fo
"Monboddo hopes to lead a fect
"under the appellation of the CAT."
"I am glad, however, to under-
"ftand that the intellects of fo
"honeft a man are yet ſo far ſound,
"that he is ftill fuffered to fit on
"the bench as a judge."-"Yes,"
I replied," he is an upright judge
"between man and man in Scotland,
"becauſe he holds all his countrymen
<<
in
FI2
MAMMUTH; OR,
6.6
in equal contempt; and of courſe,
"does juftice among thofe inferior
"mortals, in the fame manner that
a fchool-mafter pronounces juſt
"judgment on the complaints of
"fchool boys. But would he maintain
"the character of a juft judge, were
"it poffible that a caufe fhould be
"fubmitted to his decifion, wherein
"the plaintiffs were Lord Kaims and
"Mr. Hume, and the defendants
Philoponus and Pythagoras?"
"Come, come," faid the good-na-
tured fhoemaker, you are too hard
on that poor crazy man You
"muſt allow that he would be a fa-
"vourable judge to the gypfies."
(6
I therefore turning the converfa-
tion, obferved to mine hoft, "That
"the practice of embalming the dead,
"while it would ftrengthen the bonds.
"of
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 113
"of confanguinity in his family,
"would alſo proportionably detach
"them from the reft of the world.”
(6
Yes," replied he, "we fhall, in
"procefs of time, become like one
"of your caftes in India, who always
"follow the fame profeffion. This
"will make us excellent fhoemakers;
"but left the minds of my pofterity
"fhould be cramped by the unvaried
"mechanifm of one fingle occupa-
"tion, I make it a rule, that none of
<<
us fhall ever fettle in a town, but
"always mix with our own buſineſs
"that of huſbandmen, fiſhers, and
"tanners."
In this manner we prolonged our
converfation until the minifter pro-
claimed that it was nine o'clock. The
old man came from the garden with
a profuſion of fallads; and butter-
milk,
114
MAMMUTH; OR,
milk, cheeſe, butter, and whey, were
placed on a large fir table, regularly
waſhed after every meal in the ad-
jacent lake, and bleached by the re-
petition of that operation as white as
paper. Water was brought to the door,
in a large wooden trough, in which
they waſhed their hands.
"This is
not a piece of fuperftition," faid
he, "but it is for health and cleanli-
"nefs.
We fometimes omit this
ceremony when alone; but we
"would not, as our buſineſs is in
"leather, and oil, and tallow, give
"offence to ftrangers." We entered
here into a converfation
a converfation on the
Pharifees waſhing their hands before
meat; a practice which is alfo com-
mon among the gypfies, and indeed
moft nations in the Eaft. "I believe,"
faid the cobler, "that the origin of
"this cuftom is no other than that
"" of
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 115
"of eating with their fingers, with-
out the aid of knives and forks,
"and moftly out of the fame plat-
"ter." By the time we entered the
houſe again, behold a roaſted pig
ſmoking on the board, beſides a large
difh of ftewed eels. "My dear,"
faid the cobler, "this is not well
"done. That pig might have been
"fold for four fhillings; and, at any
"6 rate, if
you had a mind to play the
"fool, by affecting a magnificence
"above our fortune; it would have
"been better to have reſerved it for
"to-morrow's dinner. The eels I
(6
could have excufed, as we have
"vifitors." Grace was not yet faid;
and we ftood talking to one another.
"Go, all my brothers," faid the
fhoemaker. "Two young men of
"modeft and ingenuous appearance
"came into the parlour, and in a
"few
116
MAMMUTH; OR,
""
The boy
"few words expreffed their fatif-
"faction at feeing us, and their
"readineſs to ſerve us.'
that looked after the cow, and pigs,
and a few ſheep that fed on an ad-
joining common, was then called,
and a little girl that affifted her
miſtreſs in houſehold concerns. The
houſe dog, a gentle and affectionate
creature, was brought in. He fat
down by the door; and by looks and
mute gestures, fignified his compla-
cency in all our happineſs. The cat
fat purring below the table. Two
cows, at that inftant, came lowing
into the yard. The pigs iffued out of
their cribs; but the feathered flocks.
had long gone to reft. Clover was
adminiſtered to the cows, who were
confidered as a kind of houſehold
gods; and grains, with roots, and.
fome of the offals of the kitchen, to
the
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
117
the ſwine and rabbits. Our landlord
pointed to the clock, as it ftruck nine.
All eyes were fixed on this memento
mori ;
and his younger brother,
while even domeftic animals feemed
to wait for their food on God, by
way of grace, read with a devout and
affecting air the 104th Pfalm. The
little group of animals; the affemblage
of living creatures that ſtruck the eye,
gave infinite efficacy to thefe, and other
expreffions in that divine ode: "He
fendeth the ſprings into the vallies,
"which run among the hills. They
6C
give drink to every beaft of the
"field: the wild affes quench their
"thirst. He cauſeth the grafs to
"C
grow for the cattle, and herb for
"the ſervice of man.
"lions roar after their
The young
prey, and
"feek their meat from God. Man
"goeth forth unto his work, and to his
8
"labour
118
MAMMUTH; OR,
<<
"labour until the evening. The crea-
"tures wait all upon thee: that thou
mayeft give them their meat in due
"feafon. That thou giveft them,
"they gather thou openeſt thine
"hand; they are filled with good.
"Thou hideft thy face, they are
"troubled thou takeſt away their
"breath, they die and return to their
"duft. Thou fendeft forth thy
«Ε
I
Spirit, they are created: and thou
"reneweſt the face of the earth."
could not help comparing this grace
with the ſhort, and often ſenſeleſs eja-
culations, muttered in a low and pre-
cipitate voice by little fpruce domeſtic
chaplains, doctors in divinity, with
bufhy wigs, and dignitaries of the
church, as by law eſtabliſhed, in lawn
fleeves. Had any fuch hierophants
been preſent at the cobler's grace,
could not have refrained, under the
feelings
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
119
feelings that then moved me, from
exclaiming to their face, "Now,
66
ye prieſts by profeffion! there is a
6+6 grace for you, better than any that
"is commonly faid at York or Lam-
"beth, or in any of the halls in Ox-
"ford or Cambridge."
The old man was feated at one end
of the board, and the fhoemaker, our
hoft, at the other. The little girl did
not wait, but fat at table; as alſo did
the boy, who was herdfman. Our
beautiful hoftefs herſelf waited on us;
and after we had fully deſtroyed our
appetites for eating and drinking, fhe
fat down, and with great modeſty
and parfimony partook of what
remained. When we fat down to
fupper, the cobler faid, "Now that
"this pig is indeed dreffed, I fhould
"moft cordially entreat you, accord-
VOL. I.
F12
66
ing
120
MAMMUTH; OR,
"ing to the prevailing mode of hof-
}
"pitality, to eat
heartily of it, and
But, in truth, I
"not to fpare it.
"think it is much
better that we all
"of us fatisfy the cravings of na-
"ture, eſpecially at this late hour,
"with vegetables, and the milky
"bounty of our houſehold gods.
"The ſweetneſs of thoſe flumbers,
" and the divine enchantment of the
"dreams that follow gentle labour
"and a vegetable repaft, afford a
"luxury of which the riotous eaters
"of flesh, and thoſe addicted to
ftrong drink, cannot form any con-
<<
ception. Pray do, divine ftrangers,
"for ftrangers are from Jove, eat
fparingly of that animal," for we
had both of us fallen to work with
and attack with all
good-will,
CC
<"
imaginable ardour thofe fallads.
"Here is abundance of butter freſh
" from
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 121
(6
<c
"from the dairy; and whey and
"butter-milk, food and drink for
kings. Well, I ſee you will per-
"ſevere in your attacks on the pig.
"Since it is fo, here boy, take that
"key and fetch a quart of October:
"Fermented liquor is neceffary to
digeft animal food. For vegetables,
" and milk in all its modifications,
"it is not neceffary. Come, fince my
"vifitors will not join me, I will
"play the fool for once, for fociety's
"fake, and facrifice a pleafing
"dream, in honour of my company.
"Hand me thoſe eels ;" of which he
began to eat with a good appetite.
The herdsmen, with my fpouſe and
myſelf, were the only guests at table
that partook of the young fow.
"You will be furprifed at my
"avowal of a parfimonious difpofi-
G
VOL. I.
"tion
122
MAMMUTH; OR,
"tion before my gueſts. But con-
"fider, I befeech you, that this is
"not any proof of folitary ſelfiſh-
"neſs, but of the contrary.
σε
It ap-
pears abfurd to me, that men fhould
"lay afide all calculation and regard
(6
“५
to œconomy, at the very time when
œconomy is moſt wanted; I mean
"when a temporary acceffion is made.
"to
ti
to one's family. To be guilty of
"wafte, and live beyond one's income,
"on occafion of vifits, is a ready way
to drive gueſts from your houſe;
but to be at perfect eafe, to live
with your wonted frugality, to
"avoid all excefs, and to gain the
"love and confidence of ftrangers by
66
a fimple and fincere diſcovery of
"the inward fentiments of your
"heart, is the way to keep them with
you for a very long time, as, by
"fuch treatment, they are convinced
6 C
"that
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
123
c
"that you are not put out of your
way; that your mode of entertain-
ing them puts you to no expence
beyond what you can eaſily bear,
"and that you are heartily welcome.
"And with reſpect to the health and
<<
<<
pleaſure of moderate living, it is
"beyond all comparifon greater than
"that of gormandizing like a fat
"alderman. The mind too, what-
ever be the caufe, is more com-
"forted by vegetable than animal
"food. This may be proved by the
"effect that wine has to ftimulate the
66
< 5
(c
powers of fancy, and to ftrike col-
lifions of imagination almoft divine.
And, indeed, if I could afford it,
"I would now and then take a fillip
"of champagne, if I were not afraid
" left I fhould fall into an habit of
"intoxication. It is not fiſh, fleſh,
"nor fowl, which infpires great de-
figns,
G
66
124
MAMMUTH; OR,
""
figns, or leads on to noble actions,
"but the juices of fruits prepared by
"the hand of nature, always more
gentle, gradual, and exquifitely
"fine in its operations, than that of
"art."
In the courſe of drinking a can
of beer with this extraordinary philo-
ſopher, I learnt that his father, who
was alſo a ſhoemaker, had fent him
to ſpend fome time, when a boy,
with his uncle who was a fchool-
mafter in Galloway, from whom he
learned a little Latin, and an invin-
cible habit of reading and inquiry;
that it was their practice for one of
the brothers to read, while the other
two worked at the awl, and that they
relieved one another by turns; that
they read but a few books, but thoſe
of the higheſt character; and this,
becauſe
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 125
becauſe it was the moft oeconomical
plan in reſpect of both time, money,
and improvement, becauſe, to read
a few good books was the way to be-
come most learned, that they had
refifted many folicitations to go to
Carlisle, to Newcaſtle, to Man-
chefter, and Liverpool, being con-
vinced that a country life, fuch as
they led, was the most happy, as well
as moſt innocent. All the fineſt feelings,
he infifted, were ſtrongeſt in the coun-
try; conjugal and parental affection,
in particular, the fource of all that is
good, were very much blunted, in
great cities, by the attention, imagi-
nation, and paffions being divided
among different women. "If men
"will live in crowded cities," faid
he, "the women should be confined,
66 as in Afia, in harams. I am told,
"that the great bufinefs of the fine
"folks
G 3
t
126
MAMMUTH; OR,
(6
"6
"folks in London, is, to debauch the
women, who, on their parts, are not
a little vain of being thought
worthy of being veffels of diſhonour
"to the men." But there was an air of
whim in all that this fingular perfon did,
as well as of fenfe in all that he faid.
In the midft of this converfation, after
fupper, a mephitic air was perceived,
of which the dog, who fat near the
door, was ſuſpected of having been
the chymift. Every body declared for
turning him immediately to the door,
as is ufual in fuch cafes, our hoft
alone excepted. "No," faid he,
"he fhan't go out. He ſhall ftay
"here and help to exhauft this va-
CC
>>
pour as well as us. But it were
endleſs to enumerate all the wiſe ſay-
ings, as well as the extravagancies of
this philoſophical cobler. Suffice it
to fay, that after being entertained
chiefly
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 127
;
chiefly in the Pythagorean* ftyle, that
is to fay, on vegetables and milk, in
all its modifications, for three days
together, during which time my
ſpouſe joined with his wife in fpin-
ning thread and cord for the fhoe-
makers, and I with mine hoft in the
labour of the field, and in fishing on
the lake. Eafe and alternate labour
friendſhip and philanthropy unmixed
with deceit; freedom of thought un-
reftrained by any authority or cuſtom
whatever; with a country bold and
varied, and that feemed to give men
room to breathe and to think in, and
which by the natural boundaries that
diverfified its face, feemed to fay to
every one, "Take your own way:" All
*It is uncertain, whether the Pythagoreans ufed
milk; but it is probable that they did; and they cer-
tainly would have done it if the country they lived
in had not produced oil.
G 4
thefe
128
MAMMUTH; OR,
theſe circumftances render the north-
weſtern parts of England ftill dear
to my foul; and Cumberland, in my
heart, as in natural fituation, is, to
this day, next to my native ſoil, an
howling and waſte wilderneſs in the
highlands of Scotland.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 129
CHA P. IV.
The philofophical Shoemaker continued.
TH
HREE days did we enjoy with
the cobler, the happieſt ſpace of
time I have ſpent fince I arrived at the
years of difcretion. But on the fourth, in
the morning, having, on the evening
before, made a purchaſe of about an
hundred oxen's horns, we announced
our intention to depart. The fhoe-
maker intreated us only to ſtay for
half an hour to bear part in a trial,
and to witneſs a punishment that he
feared muft take place in his family.
His boy had forcibly taken a cake
my ſpouſe had fetched, from his little
fifter, who was in tears about it, and
G 5
had
130
MAMMUTH; OR,
had endeavoured to fhelter himself,
like older people, under a refuge of
lies. The whole family of us were
on the jury. His father and mother
urged every thing in his defence, and,
after conviction, in extenuation of
his crime; but the boy was fentenced
to be whipped. Yet neither of the
parents, nor any of his uncles, or
near relations, was, as is ufual, the
executioner. No. An old woman
was fent for on purpoſe, who lived
in a folitary cottage in the neighbour-
hood, and who paffed for a witch.
This old fybil whipped the boy pretty
fmartly, while all prefent affected the
deepeſt ſympathy. "In this man-
"ner," faid our Solon, " I wish to
"nouriſh filial affection in my chil-
"dren, and at the fame time, to im-
preſs upon their fufceptible minds,
"that there is a natural and judicial
"connection
"
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
131
tr
66
connection between vice and
mifery. Paffionate puniſhment
"excites refentment against the
(6
puniſher, not contrition for the of-
"fence. Puniſhment inflicted thus,
"reflects an odium on the caufe,
"while a natural affection for parents
"and teachers is, by calling the aid of
"both judges and executioners, not
"weakened but ftrengthened."
Before we parted, our hoft very
gravely advanced to the ftool on
which the queen of the gypfies fat,
and with infinite folemnity and be-
nignant complacency of countenance,
reclining upon a bended knee,
ftretched forth his hand, and elevated
the hem of a filken embroidered
petticoat. She ftarted at this ſtrange
action, and I myfelf wondered what
it might mean, when he took hold
G 6
first
132
MAMMUTH; OR,
"C
one
firſt of one buckle, and then of an-
other, and very deliberately pulling
off her ſhoes, inſpected them narrow-
ly to fee whether they did not need
mending, which one of them did. It
was immediately heel-pieced. Mine
were, in like manner, inſpected care-
fully, but they happened to be entire.
"We
are exhorted by a divine
"teacher (whom I venerate, though
not his followers)," faid he, "to
66 waſh
another's feet." In
eaſtern countries, continued the fhoe-
maker, they commonly wore fandals
for fhoes, which left the upper
part of the foot bare, and expoſed to
duft, and all the inclemency of an hot
climate. Therefore, the waſhing
their feet was to the inhabitants of
thoſe countries a very feaſonable and
delicious refreshment. But, as we
wear fhoes in this country, I interpret
the text as applied to one in my circum-
ftances
1
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
L33
ftances and profeffion, in this man-
ner, "Look at ftrangers feet, to fee
"if their fhoes want mending." We
entered into a converfation on the
antiquity and dignity of the fhoe-
making art. In the facred writings
of Europe, great notice is taken of
the finery that lafcivious ladies affected
in their feet; and in the Afiatic na-
tions, the fineſt part of a fine woman
is her feet at this day. In fact, al-
though the face is the ſpot where
fpeculative love of beauty begins, it
ftarts, like other paffions, to ex-
tremes, from head to feet.
"The
"Greeks," faid I, "the fathers of all
"arts, at leaft in the weft, I fuppofe,
"held fhoemaking in great eftima-
for Socrates, and other
philofophers of Greece, draw many
"of their fimilitudes, nay, by far
"the moſt of their fimilitudes that
❝tion;
66
"refer
134
MAMMUTH; OR,
८८
refer to mechanical art, from
"that of making fhoes."
"_" They
"do fo," ſaid he. And in com-
pariſon of their barbarous neigh-
"bours they were good fhoemakers.
"HOMER tells us, as a ftriking
"characteriftic of the Grecian tribes
"that went to the fiege of Troy, that
"they wore excellent boots.
In
"reality, you may judge, by the
"neatnefs of one's fhoes, of the pro-
<<
grefs of arts among any people,
"more than from any other part of
"their drefs. Savage nations have
"no fhoes. The head and the feet,
"the extremities, as being the fartheft
" removed from the vital and moſt
"fenfible parts, are the laft mem-
"bers of the body that are clothed.
"The Scotch Highlanders, in the
6 C
remoteft parts of the iſlands, as the
"Macraes and Macgillihones, and
"others,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 135
"others, have neither fhoes nor
"bonnets; and others have only
"coarfe brogues made of raw hides,
"and leathern thongs."-" That is
"6
very true," replied the old man
(whofe garrulity, for indeed he could
not join in our learned converſation,
was for the moſt part exhauſted in
prattling with the children), " I re-
"member of the Macraes coming
"down in fhoals in 1745. Many a
"time have I frighted my fon there,"
faid he, "with them. Old nurſes
"propagated an uſeful fable, that
"the Macraes were in the practice
"of eating naughty children. There
"was nothing which the highlanders
"coveted fo much in the drefs of the
66
Saffenach, for that is the name by
"which they called us Engliſhmen,
as their fhoes. I remember a good
ftory of old parfon Bray aad them.
(c
•
"The
$36.
MAMMUTH; OR,
tr
Co
6.6
"The parfon was coming home,
pretty well by the nofe, from a
chriftening, late of a fine moon-
light night in October, when he
"fell faſt aſleep, with his wig off,
"and his head on an ant hill, on the
"fide of a common. Some thief
"came and took away his filver
"buckles and watch, but left his
"fhoes. The parfon went next day
"to the captain of the Macraes,
66
begging him to order a fearch,
«Ε among his men, for his filver
"watch and buckles.
CC
captain of the Macraes,
O!' faid the
• it cannot
• have been any of my men that has
C
taken the articles you mifs; for a
true Macrae would have taken the
'fhoes and left the watch.' Here
old Crifpin began to chuckle and laugh
very heartily at his own ftory. The
reaſon why he would have left the
watch,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
37
watch, he told us, after he had re-
covered from a violent fit of laughter,
was, what indeed I have often heard
affirmed by very creditable people,
that there were fome of thofe in-
vaders of England fo rude and bar-
barous as to be totally ignorant of
both the mechaniſm and the uſe of
watches. They took watches, at
firft, to be animals. So that, if it
was really a Macrae that robbed the
parfon, he probably miftook the
parfon's wig, which was lying near
his head, for the neft of the ſtrange
animal, that had crept, whether
for heat, or food, or for whatever
other purpoſe, into his breeches. I
now took my leave of this philofo-
phical maker of fhoes with tears in
my eyes, and many prayers for the
proſperity of his family.- "Fare-
"well, moft humane and wife of
mankind,
138
MAMMUTH; OR,
"mankind, whofe knowledge feeks
cc
not, with vain oftentation, to vie
"with maffy volumes, but wifely
courts the fhade, and ftudies to
"follow nature, and to diftinguiſh
"truth from falfehood; truth, the
picture of nature; falfehood, an
ignis fatuus that leads into con-
"ftant confufion. Farewell! in-
«Ε
c
«Ε
،
r nocent, blooming, and happy
partner of his joys and forrows.
"Farewell! fweet children, and happy
⚫ relations and domeftics of every
"denomination, farewell! And thou,
"awful preacher of righteouſneſs,
"temperance, and judgment to come,
"I bow in reverence to thy filent
"but expreffive admonitions; a
"teacher thou, never clamorous for
"thy tithes, never diverted from
"thy gracious taſk by pleaſure, eaſe,
or any other human confideration!
66
"O how
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
139
"O how unlike the fair, fleek, round
"faces of ordinary divines, fwelled
(6
out by the fat of the land, and
"fmoothed by the filly contentment
" of liftless infenfibility! Fixed in
thy pulpit, thou attendeft not
"either on elections, or electioneer-
"ing cabals, the levees of a chan-
"cellor, a minifter of ftate, or a
king." The queen faluted the
whole family bathed in tears.
CC
The
children, too, cried; and the affec-
tionate houſe-dog, greatly difcom-
pofed, couring and howling, ran from
one to another, and, by various
geftures and agitations, plainly dif
covered how deeply he ſhared in the
foft diftrefs.
I affured mine hoft that his image
would never depart from my mind, and
that I would give him an account of
what
140
MAMMUTH; OR,
He
what ſhould happen to me, in writing.
He, on his part, promiſed to anſwer
with perfect punctuality, all my
letters. We parted without farther
ceremony; and as we journied back
towards the gypfies, we were over-
taken by an excife officer, with whom
we entered into converfation.
was a man of a gentleman-like ap-
pearance, and, as we learned after-
wards, of a good family, who, from
extravagancies in his younger years,
not unfrequently found in conjunction
with great fenfibility of heart and
elevation of genius, had been re-
duced to the fituation in which we
found him, and in which he had
taken refuge as an afylum from the
neglect of friends, the ingratitude of
thofe he had obliged at the expence of
his fortune, the preffure of want,
and the fcorn of the world.
He
told
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 141
told us, that having occafion to viſit
the fhoemaker, who tanned his own
leather, which was an excifeable
article, he became well acquainted
with him; that he admired the
fingular, yet judicious economy of
his life; that he never knew a finer
genius for abftracted fpeculation, nor
a greater tafle or turn for rational
and important inquiry, nor greater
mildneſs of temper, or unaffuming
modefty of manners. There is no-
thing, faid he,
pedantry and felf-conceit. You fee,
how patiently he bears contradiction;
and if he contradicts you, in return,
without ceremony, it is, becauſe,
judging from his own feelings, he
conceives that it will not give you
any manner of pain. If he did, I
am fure there is not a courtier in
about him like
London
142
MAMMUTH; OR,
London or Paris who would qualify
his difference of opinion by greater
delicacy of expreffion. I expreffed
deep regret that fo much merit ſhould
be funk in obſcurity, and my hopes
that it was neither unknown, nor
unnoticed in the neighbourhood. "As
"to his obfcurity," faid he, "it
"is the happieft lot, fince he thinks
"fo, that could befal him. At the
"fame time, I have endeavoured,
"though in vain, to bring his com-
(
pany in requeft in the narrow
"circle of folks of good condition,
"who yet admit me, occafionally,
"into their company. But the fox-
"hunters laugh at him; the poli-
"ticians deſpiſe him; and the clergy
"are jealous of him, and even talk
"of profecuting him on account of
what they call the impiety of the
7
"fkeleton."
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
143
"ſkeleton."
Here the excifeman
took his leave of us, and, putting
fpurs to his
horfe,
journey.
purſued his
141
MAMMUTH; OR,
CHAP. V.
I meet with an old Acquaintance, with
whom I travel into diftant Countries.
HUS far I had proceeded with
TH
my tour with the tinkers, when
I read over what I had written with
not a little complacency. Well, faid
I to myfelf, this matter is neither in-
curious, nor uninftructive, nor, what
is of greater importance, altogether
unpleafant. But if I felect from a
tour of three years only, fuch in-
terefling incidents as thefe, my
travels will very foon be at an end.
I muft, therefore, now carry into
execution my defign of fwelling my
performance, in imitation of a very
fashionable
8
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
145
faſhionable ſpecies and mode of com-
pofition, with various digreffions, and
innumerable anecdotes, noble, royal,
and imperial. I began to think that,
as in this ſtage of my tour, I was at no
great diftance from the city of Carlisle,
I might very naturally enlarge and
adorn my view of ſociety among the
tinkers, by an hiftory of the rebellion
in 1745, from whence I might pafs by
an eaſy tranfition to the moft proper
regimen for foldiers, making cam-
paigns in counties fubjected to cuti-
cular diſorders, and, in general, to the
difeafes moft incident to the army.
army. I
calculated how many volumes 8vo
I might make out, by the introduc-
tion of theſe important fubjects, and
alſo how much money, and favour with
the great, whofe families, as well as
themſelves, I refolved to celebrate.
VOL. I.
* H
My
146
MAMMUTH; OR,
My heart was elated by theſe pleaſing
ideas, and ftarting up from my ftool,
I walked up and down in great ma-
jeſty in my garret, anticipating in
my imagination the wealth that
would arife from my judicious publica-
tions, when an incident happened,
which cruelly awakened me from my
reverie, and reminded me how much
I ftood in need of it. A hiffing
noife, in the focket of my candle-
ftick, announced the approaching
cbfcuration of my expiring candle,
whofe place I could not fupply. A
fudden melancholy feized my mind.
A thrilling and tender anguiſh, a
kind of pleafing pain filled my foul,
when I recollected fome of the
natural, the affecting, the happy
fcenes through which I had paffed,
and which I had undertaken to de-
ſcribe,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
147
At
fcribe, from the moment I fell in
with the gypsies, to that when I was
accofted, inftructed, and received the
commands of the Man in the Moon.
All nature, and her image, reflected
by truth, ruſhed on my foul.
that inftant I was in a mood to brave
death in defence of juftice, to lay
down my life in fupport of innocence,
or to pour forth my foul in ftrains of
daring though rude poetry; and to
have harangued affembled tyrants,
in favour of the claims of truth and
the rights of human nature. Tears
flowed from the impreffions of all
that is fair, affecting, and majeſtic in
nature, like torrents from mountains
of virgin fnow, and fwept before
them every artificial mound that op-
poſed their way. A well-known coun-
tenance, refplendent with the light of
heaven, Haſhed upon my watery
H 2
eyes,
148
MAMMUTH; OR,
eyes, and a voice of comfort invaded
my ears. "No!" faid the Man in
the Moon, " poor as you are, you
"fhall not have recourſe to the baſe
"tricks practifed by thofe uninfpired
"wretches, who pafs in your world
"for men of difcretion and prudence.
"If you do, from that moment I
renounce you.
Blame not your
difinterested patron, if his repeated
"efforts failed of indenting any ef-
"fectual impreffion in your favour
on the adamantine brain of an
((
""
impenetrable fcull. I ftirred up
"in your favour, the fire of Mr.
"F-x, in the Houfe of Commons;
"and, at my request, the prefiding
fpirit of Jupiter ſeaſoned the ardent
imagination of Sh-n with his
cooling rays, and by repreffing
"for a time the collifions of his
fancy, changed his keen wit into
"accurate
it
6C
66
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
149
accurate calculation and Roman
"thunder. In the House of Lords, I
"added Cicero's fire to the Ciceronian.
"
"C
manner of Lord Stormont; and
"tempered with the warmth of
poetry the metaphyſical acumen of
"Lord Loughborough. But ſheltered
by the power of the Crown, the fe-
cretary fet all the artillery of reafon,
"wit, and eloquence at defiance.
66
""
"As to your diſappointment in
"the returns of what you pub-
"lifhed for me; know that, though
"I am not omnifcient, and am
"fometimes deceived in my con-
jectures concerning fo variable,
"fubtile, and capricious things as
"human fouls, whofe wanderings
" and projects are forefeen only by
"the Supreme Mind, I have not
"deferted you." With theſe words,
he vanished from my fight, leaving
H 3
me
150 MAMMUTH; OR,
But
me inconfolable at the reflection,
that he had not given me an oppor-
tunity of making an humble acknow-
ledgment of my ingratitude and
folly, in murmuring at the failure of
his predictions. It was evident that
he had pardoned my weakneſs.
mere pardon, and even favour, did
not fatisfy me. I was uneafy, be-
cauſe I had not purchaſed them by
repentance and tears*. Anxiety and
extreme grief overpowered me. But
Sleep, nature's kind handmaid, the
foft nurſe of forrow, when his other
friends have forfaken him and fled;
Sleep flew to my relief, laid my head
on her lap, drew a curtain between
me and the objects that gave me pain,
and whiſpered comfort to my troubled
foul in a dream.
• This is undoubtedly the process of nature,
and fully juftifies the doctrines of our religion on
this fubject.
1 feemed
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
151
I feemed to myſelf, to wander with
the lady I have ſo often mentioned,
over former' ſcenes, and,
among
others, thofe I have already de-
fcribed. The feelings of the foul
are more exquiſite in dreaming than
in our waking hours. As a land-
ſcape, viewed by the pale radiance
of the moon, though lefs vivid in
itſelf, makes often a ftronger im-
preffion on the foul, when undiverted
by a diverſity of objects it directs
its perceptive powers to one; and
limpid and calm, like a ſmooth
river, reflects the true images of
things fo in dreams, the foul, un-
diſturbed by paffion and bodily agita-
tion, feels with exquifite fenfibility
all that is fitted to make impreffions
on the mind. After the grofs par-
ticles fubfide, the fpirit remains, and
views every object with unuſual
vigour of conception. I fhould have
thought
H4
152
MAMMUTH; OR,
thought myſelf in Elyfium, had not
my happineſs been interrupted by the
reflection that this was but a dream;
that my body lay dead on Black-
heath. I was afraid to awake, and
wished to prolong the pleafing il-
lufion. I wiſhed to ſpeak to the ob-
ject of my affectionate regret (for in
forrow one loves his old friends), and
to pour forth my contrition at having
left her upwards of three years ago,
in the Northumbrian mountains. I
graſped her ſhade, and attempted to
pour my foul in words, but fhe eluded
my embrace, and I felt, with forrow,
that my mind was again immerging
from the world of fpirits into forrow
and darkneſs, and to be imbruted by
a mixture with matter. I awoke in
tears, and was endeavouring to regain
the world of pure ideas, by excluding
all impreffions of fenfe, when an old
woman
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
153
woman that occafionally waited on
me, advancing to the bed on which I
lay, pulled afide the curtain, and
whiſpered in my ear, that fome
ftrangers defired to fpeak with me,
who had fomething to communicate
of importance. I immediately rofe
up, and having flightly dreffed my-
felf in a night-gown and flippers, I
went down to the parlour prefaging
the truth. For behold, the queen of
the gypfies, arrayed in the very ap-
parel, and adorned with the fame
ornaments which ſhe wore on the day
of our efpoufals on Muffelburgh
downs! Certain traces of diftrefs,
and perhaps the fhade of even two
years in the bloom of her counte-
nance, if they abated the fire of
vulgar paffion, heightened the pure
flame of genuine affection. A flood
of tears relieved the tumults of our
H 5
labouring
154
MAMMUTH; OR,
labouring breafts. After a tender
embrace, the faid, in a ferious, but
tender tone of voice, "During the
"two years that have elapfed fince
we parted, I have been a victim to
86
an uneafineſs and anxiety of mind,
"which, as you will readily perceive,
"have produced their effects on my
"C
bodily frame. The indifference I
"affumed on your dereliction, was
not real but affected. I did expect,
"however, that a new lover would,
as ufual, foon wear out the traces
" of Bethlehem Gabor. Lovers were
"C
66
not wanting among our own peo-
"ple, nor yet among men who live
"in fixed habitations. But thoughts
"of you were
you were never out of my
mind. I could not forget a Rouf-
"feau to wed a gardener *. I at-
66
This the widow of Rouſſeau in fact did.
"tempted
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
155
"C
66
"tempted to footh my mind, by
transferring the whole ardour of
my affections to fuch
to fuch of my
"kindred as might be difpofed to
"receive me, after all my excentri-
cities, in my native mountains.
"The Highlanders, I knew, are
،،
more indulgent than their more
"debauched neighbours, to the fal-
"lies of love, and know how to
"diftinguifh tender, though frail af-
"fection, from bafe prostitution. I
"refolved to bury myfelf in fome
"ifland or glen, where I might never
66
more behold the face of any
"human creature, befides the fe-
"queftered family and fimple vil-
66
lagers with whom I might refide;
to ſeek for fome faithful old do-
"meftic or nurſe, and ſome of my
poor kindred to whom the fmall
"treafure I had accumulated, and
H 6
66
even
156
MAMMUTH; OR,
<<
even a few of the jewels I poffeffed,
would be a fortune. I ftole from
our company, for I was afhamed
"of my ingratitude, juft as you did,
"and haftened to the first fea- port I
"could find on the western coaft of
"the island. A fhip from Port-
patrick carried me, with a profper-
"ous gale, ſafe to Cambleton. In
"the receffes of Corfaig, I found
"the most affectionate reception
66
among farmers and tackſmen, my
"coufins in the fourth or fifth re-
"move. My mother, I there learned,
66
was dead.
There was no other
near relation whom I dared to ap-
"proach. My old nurfe too had
paid the debt of nature. A new
(6
race of men had fprung up. My
"companions at fchool were fcat-
"tered far and near, and it was only
" from
the unfortunate among
"thoſe
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
157
"(
(6
<6
thoſe that I could expect any
<< countenance. Such were ſome
poor relations whom I found in
Corfaig. Here, therefore, I took
up my abode, and endeavoured to
"forget the prefent, in liftening to
"the tales and the fongs of former
"times. But I found folitude ſtill
more infupportable than fociety. I
longed to return to the gypfies. I
"re-embarked at Cambleton, on
،
<<
"board a veffel bound for Briſtol,
"becauſe I knew that the gypfies of
sc
the Britiſh iſlands held their anni-
verſary meeting, for that year, in
"South Wales."-" O! my God!"
1 exclaimed, " I, too, had ſet out to
meet them there, when I was
"turned back by an authority I will
"afterwards explain." "I am not
66
ignorant of that
(6 counter," faid fhe.
wonderful en-
"At Briſtol I
"found
158
MAMMUTH; OR,
"found in a tavern, for I travelled
"in the ſtyle of a gentlewoman, with
"6
an highland girl, who, without
"being married, has unfortunately
proved a mother, for my fervant,
the Man in the Moon; and the
"tenderneſs you there expreſs for
C6
me, led me to wifh rather than to
"hope that I might be admitted, if
"a new connection had gained your
"heart, to the first place in your
friendſhip. I would be to you as
"a fifter.
The revolution of time
"has brought about an event which
"has happily coincided with my
"own ftrong inclination, to give me
"an opportunity of re-vifiting you,
"without any of thofe feelings of
(C
66
delicacy or of pride, of which no
woman can diveft herſelf, without
"alſo laying afide all remains of
"virtue. This fummer, on a ver-
"dant
I
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
159
(C
"dant plain, within half a day's
journey of Tunis, by far the moſt
"civiliſed of all the States of Barbary,
"is held the jubilee, which returns
at the termination of every fifty
"6
years, of the gypfies in all parts of
"the habitable world.
In every
(6
"C
66
kingdom and ſtate where theſe peo-
ple refide, they have a king and a
queen.
But it does not always
happen, nor indeed very frequent-
"ly, that the king and queen are
"hufband and wife; as it is feldom
"that two perfons of different fexes
"take a liking to each other, who are
"endowed with that fuperior ſenſe,
"and adorned with thofe fuperior
"accompliſhments which are re-
quifite in an elective king and queen.
"I had been honoured, as you know,
"with the rank of
66
gypfies; nor had
queen of the
another been
"found
160
MAMMUTH; OR,
"found worthy of the fame during the
"time that I abdicated the crown. On
(c
my return I was cordially received,
"and my dignity was continued. It
"is only the kings and queens, with
fome attendants, that meet at the
grand jubilee. The old king of
"the British gypfies, Gabriel Gil-
leſpie, has lain infirm, for years, in
Logie Almon in Perthshire. A
""
"6
"C
"
new king is to be chofen; for it is
"neceffary to fend deputies to the
jubilee. I know not the fituation
"of your affairs; your patron
"
(6
promiſed to influence a courtier in
your favour, and augured good
"things from the fale of the little
"book. But I have heard that there
is ftill leſs to be made by the pro-
"feffion of an author than that of a
"tinker; and that the favour of the
"C
great is precarious, and their pro-
"miſes
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 161
"miſes often deceitful. The appear-
66
ance of this habitation, and the
"marks of long fervice that appear
(6
about your apparel, I fear, juftify
"thefe obfervations in your cafe. So
"that when I reflect on theſe circum-
"ftances, on your cordial remem-
"brance of the gypfies, and of me,
"and on your conftitutional curiofity,
"I am emboldened to make a tender
"to you of the gypfey crown, and
"to invite you to make a voyage
"with me, at the public expence,
"attended only by the highland laſs,
"to the plains of Tunis." The
interview, of last night, with my
celeftial vifitant, and my dream,
were now explained. I bowed to the
deftination of fate, and ardently em-
bracing the queen, accepted the royal
offer with profeffions as ftrong as they
were then fincere, that I would never
more
162
MAMMUTH; OR,
more part from her, but when I parted
with life. The ardour of my mind
led me to extend an ideal intercourſe
with this amiable lady, even beyond
the grave.
I implored heaven to
terminate our lives by one ſtroke,
that our fouls might mingle, as in
the divine dream that had formed a
preſage of this tranfporting moment,
replete with blifs too extatic to be of
long duration.
The queen of the gypfies was de-
lighted with my frank acceptance of
the offered dignity, and in an effufion
of female vanity, extremely natural
when the mind is fet afloat by a
favourable gale of fortune, told me,
that the gypfies had unanimouſly
declared, that if I fhould fhare with
her the regal dignity, no Egyptian
nation would be more nobly repre-
fented
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
163
ſented than ours in the general con-
grefs at Tunis. With her affiftance,
I paid my lodgings, purchaſed clothes
fit for a gentleman, and fecured a
fmall cloſet in the cabin of a veffel
ready to weigh anchor in the river
for the place of our deftination.
The queen wrote to our affociates,
that I had accepted the crown.
went on board, near Gravefend, on
that very day. The highland lafs
alſo went on board, and flept com-
fortably on a mattrafs, laid on the
floor of the cabin by the fide of our
bed, wrapped in her tartan plaid.
We
164
MAMMUTH; OR,
ΤΗ
CHA P. VỊ.
A Congress of Kings.
THE leifure we enjoyed on ſhip-
board, furniſhed an opportunity
of hearing more minutely the hiſtory
of my fair fellow-traveller, friend,
and fpoufe, during her recefs in
the weſtern ifles, and of imparting
to her, in return, an account of my
adventures from the time I ftole from
her embraces, to the prefent moment.
It also gave the queen an opportunity
of inftructing me in thofe figns,
words, and ceremonies, which were
to ferve as our credentials from the
people that had elected us their fo-
vereigns. Nothing happened, during
the voyage, that it concerns this
hiſtory
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 165
hiſtory to relate. What needs many
words? Three weeks had not elapfed
when, in the bay of Tunis, at five
o'clock in the morning, the eafterly
wind wafting odours from the land
of perfumes, and the fun fpringing
from the ocean, we defcried, at the
diſtance of about fix miles, a thick
fmoke afcending from an immenfe
plain, where there was neither tower
nor ſpire, nor aught that indicated
the abodes of mortals. A Genoefe
felucca, which we hailed, informed
us, that the fmoke, which had at-
tracted our attention, arofe from the
tents of the gypfies, which the hu-
mane and cultivated Tunifians allowed
them, on paying a fall tribute, to
erect in their territories, on occafion
of their grand jubilee. We haftened
towards the tent, after purchaſing a
couple of affes, and field equipage;
as
166
MAMMUTH; OR,
as for provifions, thefe were fupplied,
in abundance, by the neighbouring
peaſants. When we approached to
the camp, which was fituated in an
hollow, in the midst of an immenfe
champagne environed by gentle
eminences, and furrounded almoft by
a chryſtal ſtream, we halted about an
hundred paces before the ground be-
gan to decline. After fending forward
the aſs ſo far that fhe was concealed
from her mate by the declivity, the
queen mounted the jack-afs, and
raifed, in her polished hand, the en-
fign of the gypfies. This was a flag
affixed to the end of a long walking
pole, compoſed of fhreds and patches
of filk, ſcarlet, cotton ftuff, woollen
cloth, linen, purple, filk, and cloths
of all kinds and all colours. It was
a matter of rivality and ambition
among the gypfies who fhould have
the
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
167
the moſt variegated enfign. The rea-
ſon why we halted as foon as the affes
were hid from each other by the in-
curvations of the ground, was, that
they might bray when they were
ſeparated from each other. Jenny (for
that was the name of the highland
girl), who was our great chamberlain,
at our deſire, drove the ſilver ſtake (for
iron and braſs furniture was nothing
accounted of by the deputies of the
gypfies) that was appended to the
animal's tether, deep into the earth,
and retreating a few paces, concealed
herſelf among fome fhrubs, as we had
directed her. The fhe-afs, finding
herſelf all alone, fet up a dolorous.
bray, and was anſwered, with equal
vigour, by her male companion, on
whom rode the queen, difplaying a
multivaried flag, emblematical of
the fuperior commerce of Great
Britain.
168
MAMMUTH; OR,
Britain. No flag came up to ours.
That of Holland was next.
But
we were too cunning for the
Hollanders; for, befides all the
cloths to be found in the old world,
and among the Indians in America,
we had contrived to get a fmall bit of
Otaheitean cloth from a very diftin-
guifhed fellow indeed of the Royal
Society, who is celebrated for his
bawdy boaftings, and who had made
love with the fame fuccefs with which
he difclofes the fecrets of nature, to the
queen of the gypsies.
The practice of feparating their
affes, in the manner juſt deſcribed,
and of raifing their flags on enfigns,
is practifed by the gypfies, in order
to announce their approach to the af-
fembled fovereigns in the camp near
Tunis, which is the rendezvous of
the
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 169
the gypfies, as Francfort on the
Main is of the princes of Germany.
As foon as the whole groupe of affes
that furrounded the camp, to the
number of ſeveral hundreds (and
thefe, for the most part, ftrong jack
affes *), heard the found of our liv-
ing trumpets, they ſet up ſuch a roar
as would deafen the noife of the falls
of Niagara. The lions and tygers,
in defarts, at the diflance of thirty
miles, roufed at the horrid found,
mixed their frightful roar in the loud
and alarming fymphony. This, then,
is the etiquette obferved on the ap-
proach of a royal pair at the general
camp of the gypfies.
*The African, and in general, the affes of
warm climates, greatly exceed our affes both in
fize and ftrength, as well as beauty.
VOL. I.
I
When
170
MAMMUTH; OR,
When we arrived in what I fhall
call the Royal Circus, which was
a fpacious verdant lawn, in the
midst of the furrounding tents, on
the tops of which the gypfey-flags
of the countries to which their in-
habitants reſpectively belonged were
diſplayed in all their varied many-
coloured glory, the deputies of both
fexes came out to meet us. A con-
grefs, as numerous of kings, as this,
there perhaps was, reckoning both
Greeks and Trojans, and their re-
fpective allies, at the fiege of Troy;
but fuch a convention of kings and
queens, I will be
I will be bold to affirm,
there never was affembled, in one
place, fince the difperfion of mankind
at the tower of Babel. We were
faluted with great folemnity, and
yet with affection, according to
certain
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
171
certain ceremonies known only to the
gypsies; our dreffes were thofe of
our reſpective nations; our com-
plexions, and the contour of our
viſages, though varied fomewhat by
various climates, and by intermar-
riages, yet, on the whole, bore a re-
femblance to each other; and one
foul and heart feemed to pervade the
whole affembly. For the purpoſe of
regularity, it was eſtabliſhed by the
cuftom of centuries, that whatever
king or queen had been prefent at
any former, I may fafely fay, indeed,
the laſt jubilee, fhould be a member
of a ſmall privy council, as it were,
which elected their own prefident.
By them all matters of order were
eaſily ſettled. It was a law, that
whatever deputies had come laft to
the camp, before they fhould have
time to pitch their tent, 'fhould be
[ 2
enter-
172
MAMMUTH; OR,
entertained by the deputies from that
nation which was neareſt to their
own in local fituation. Where feveral
nations were contiguous, vicinity was
determined by the diftance of the
capitals. It was our fortune, accord-
ingly, to be hofpitably received by
the king and queen of France. By
thefe honourable appellations we
diftinguiſhed the gypfies from France;
and, in like manner, by titles of
royalty, the deputies from other
countries. In familiar difcourfe, we
called one other George, Charlotte,
Lewis, Charles, Maria, Katherine,
Jofeph, &c. &c. Nay, in the heat
of conviviality, we fometimes went
fo far as to addrefs one another by
the familiar abbreviations of thofe
royal names; as Georgy, Carolo,
Moll, Kate, Jo. &c. &c. We con-
fidered each other, in fome fort, as
repre-
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
173
repreſenting the genius of the country
in which we uſually wandered. It is
needleſs to ſay how politely we were
received by the king and queen of
France, who waſhed our feet with
their own hands, and afforded, in
the kindeſt manner, all neceffary re-
freſhments. Our tent was foon ftruck,
without our even knowing which of
their majefties had done us that piece
of fervice; for no male fervants at-
tended the camp, left too great a con-
courſe of males fhould give jealoufy
to any of the princes or ftates of
Barbary. We vifited at one another's
tents, for ſeveral days, juſt as private
families do, in the mornings; but
we always dined together, in that
delicious climate, on the green turf,
and under the open mantle of heaven,
the only canopy fit for an affembly of
kings. On the third day after our
I 3
arrival
174
MAMMUTH; OR,
arrival were opened two trunks, the
contents of which I had entirely
miſtaken. The one of them was filled
with a Cheſhire cheeſe, two Yorkshire
hams, and fome hung beef: the other
with bottles of porter. "I imagined,"
faid I, "that theſe trunks had been
"full of clothes." " Have you been fo
"long with the gypfies and not know
"the proverb?" "What proverb?"
Glut tobhagus chraſh yn bounden,
"oo hahiſh graith yn cleid lackyn-
"den." That is to ſay,
"If you
"drink, and eat, and dance well,
<c
you will not need to buy many fine
"clothes to your wife." No, no!
one handſome dreſs is enough. When
men once become too nice and fafti-
dious about their women's clothes,
love is fick and faint, and requires
nice cooking. This was the first
ſymptom I perceived in the queen of
jealoufy.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
175
jealoufy. I clafped her in my arms,
and ſwore that I never adored her
more than when he was difguifed
in the rags of the gypsies. The
great banquetting days, which were
three, approached. On the day
before the firft of thefe, the depu-
ties appeared before the emperor
in council, and approved themſelves
by their proficiency in figns and
other tokens, as well as in proverbs
and traditions concerning the gypfies,
the real kings and queens of the
gypsies whom they reprefented. On
the first banquetting day, early in the
morning, we affembled in the Circus,
and the emperor, with all the members
of the council, difcourfed by turns
concerning the origin and hiftory of
the gypsies, and put queftions con-
cerning their numbers, and way of
life, in all countries in the world, in
which they wandered; the anfwers
I 4
to
176
MAMMUTH; OR,
to which queſtions were equally en-
tertaining and inftructive. Thus were
ſpent the morning and forenoon of
the first day of the feaſt. On the
ſecond day, we received inftructions
from the fame teachers, in Egyptian
proverbs, or maxims of life, which,
as I have already obferved, appeared
to me to have been drawn from the
profoundeſt knowledge of the human
mind, and were many of them con-
ceived in terms that implied manifeft
allufions to the reformed experimental
philofophy; but which being handed
down, as I was affured by the un-
animous voice of the Egyptian con-
grefs, from times of remote antiquity,
muſt have defcended from the ancient
Pythagorean philofophers. On the
third and laſt day of the feaft, we
received inftructions concerning the
figns and enigmatical practices of the
gypfies,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 177
gypfies, with the moft fervent exhorta-
tions to be ftrictly honeft and affec-
tionate in all our dealings with one
another; to be as honeſt in our deal-
ings with the nations among whom
we fojourned as our own fafety re-
quired; to confider ourſelves as
pilgrims and ftrangers on earth, and
our wandering life as emblematical of
a journey to a land of reft, in another
world, where all true gypfies would
live in fixed habitations, and the
proud and wicked nations, among
whom they fojourned, would wander
as the Egyptians do now; to venerate
the facred writings and religious in-
ftitutions of every country, and to be
bigotted to none; and finally, to
teach all theſe, with many other lef-
fons, to our children. Their morality,
or moral wiſdom (for they made no
account whatever of natural know-
1 5
I
ledge,
178
MAMMUTH; OR,
ledge, if it did not directly bear on
fome uſeful purpoſe), was on the
whole pure and undefiled. There was
only one maxim, which, from a
fmile which pervaded the affembly
when it was delivered, I hold at leaſt
as equivocal: It was this, "oo ap-
"tochufh doulon oo jalgo bladdyr
fkyton." That is,
That is, "Never cheat
66
a poor man, nor beg from a rich."
Thus, then, the days of the great
feaft, or rammy-joul-gumfhion, were
fpent. But behold the dinner or
banquet! All the kings and queens
brought what was peculiar and moſt
excellent in their different countries,
and gave them into the pantry or
buttery, a wooden houfe, with large
lattices, built in one day for the pur-
poſe. From thence they were brought
forth by the great officers, and ſpread
on large leaves on the lawn; and to
the
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
179
the whole was added the freſh provi-
fions from Barbary; fo that never
was there a feaft in which there was,
at once, ſuch profufion and ſuch
variety. To dine with the Lord
Mayor of London, in the Egyptian
hall, is only doing penance, in com-
pariſon of feafting with the affembled
Egyptian kings. Not Solomon in
all his glory, though filver was no-
thing accounted of in his days, with
all his fhips from Elath and Ezion-
geber, that brought him gold, and
apes, and peacocks, could command
fuch a banquet; nor Ahafuerus, re-
velling with jolly companions, and
wine and women for forty days.
And how could it be otherwife?
fince the rareft delicacies of all coun-
tries were brought together, and
magnificently difplayed on the green
lap of our common nurfe, foodful
16
mother
180
MAMMUTH; OR,
mother Earth, older than the hills,
and yet, as appeared from theſe
proofs of fecundity, not the worſe for
the wearing. Such an infinite variety
of natural curiofities, which fet off
the nature of each other by com-
pariſons that ftruck the eye without
fatiguing the underſtanding, might
be called a mufæum rather than a
feaft. It was ſuch a banquet, that had
it been fet before the Royal Society
of London, who eat only as a duty,
that they may thereby prolong their
valuable lives for the purpoſe of
making uſeful difcoveries, all appetite
for food would have been loft in the
defire of knowledge; and they would
have inftantly begun to phyfiologife
on the fplendid profufion of nature.
Not fo the gypfies. Reclining on the
flowery carpet ſpread by the hands of
Tellus,
4
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
181
Tellus, they attacked the viands with
vigorous appetites and cheerful coun-
tenances. The pretty damſels, their
attendants, partook of the feaft at
the fame time with their miſtreffes,
and occafionally handed the jocund
cup.
After the gypfies, without the aid
of knife or fork, or other inftruments
of ſteel, had deſtroyed thoſe ravenous
monſters hunger and thirft, and what
remained of their ammunition was
carefully laid up for fome future en-
gagement, we entered into a free and
exulting converfation concerning the
other nations of the earth; and, ac-
cording to the cuftom of the jubilee,
each of the affembled kings produced
fome verſes in praife of our way of
life, and the advantages we poffeffed
over other races of men, and other
kings.
182
MAMMUTH; OR,
kings. Thefe, taken down in a kind.
of fhort hand, or hieroglyphical
writing, ferved, as the fong, or the
pfalms of the gypfies, from jubilee to
jubilee, that is, from generation to
generation. I fhall here give fome
fpecimens of this poetry, collected,
like the feaft at which it was re-
hearfed, from different hands, in a
free tranſlation, in which I fhall only
aim to give the fenfe, and adhere as
clofely as poffible to the original
metaphors and allufions, without
confining myſelf to any exact meafure-
ment of words and numbers. It muft
be premiſed, that the relative they, in
the language of the gypfies, and par-
ticularly in poetry, is often uſed in
rather a fcoffing and contemptuous
manner, and to denote all other
princes and nations befides them-
felves.
If
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 183
I.
If they do not go in ſearch of knowledge, how
can they find it?
The fnail rolls himfelf up in his fhell,
And fwears that his own habitation
Is the most magnificent in the univerfe.
II.
As much as the eagle is fuperior to the duck
That waddles all his life in one ſtinking pool:
So much fuperior are the gypfies
To thoſe who are tethered to fixed habitations.
III.
The wild horfe bounds o'er the Tartarean plain,
Flees from the bait and the bridle,
And kicks as he flees him who offers them.
The gypfies, if they have no houſes, pay no
taxes;
And, wheedling what they want from working
men,
Baſk on the blooming bank,
Or roll in barns amidst the fragrant hay.
IV. The
184
MAMMUTH; OR,
IV.
The tree is fixed by its roots to the earth,
And ftorms tear off its boughs;
The birds pick its feeds,
And drop their dung on its fruits and flowers.
V.
Foolish men adhere to the foil,
Their rind is pierced by the fcymitar of the
oppreffor ;
Their branches are cut off by the ax,
And the pick-axe ftubs up their roots.
VI.
The gypfies, like birds of paffage,
Change the changing climate,
And if they are not happy in one place
They go without regret to another.
VII.
*
They turn their faces to one another in love,
And the blackſmith + folders around them a
ſtrong iron chain.
* Who live in fixed habitations. The minifter.
By
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
185
By and by they turn their backs,
And kick each other with their heels,
Like the fatiated horfe and mare:
But the chain is not to be diffolved,
And hip to hip the wretched flaves
Go fidgeting and flinging to the grave.
VIII.
The gypfies are united by a fillet of filk,
Which may be divided by a gentle touch of
the fciffars,
Or fewed together again when they pleaſe.
IX.
They buftle the whole courſe of their lives,
They difquiet themſelves in vain,
They fight like tygers for riches,
Or labour like flaves in a mine.
When they have got them they know not how
to uſe them,
Being as ftupid as the afs and the mule.
They return to their trammels and toil,
Or cut their own throats to keep themſelves
from languor.
X. The
186
MAMMUTH; OR,
X.
The gypfies, without hoarding, take what falls,
The world is their pantry, and mankind their
butlers.
They live without anxiety, and yet without
languor,
For with nothing to fear, they have always
fomething to do or to feek.
XI.
They think by hoarding to fecure themfelves from
want.
But what if the fun fhould forget to rife,
And the green earth grow red?
Who is to jog him up from his bed,
And reſtore the marrow of fappy nature?
As fure as the fun goes round,
And blooming nature remains unchanged,
The wily gypsies will draw fupplies from the
hearts of men;
Theſe are their blood-red purſes,
Which they can open whenever they pleaſe.
XII. They
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 187
XII.
They live with one another in a ſtate of war,
And commit the cuſtody of their goods to dogs.
They fatigue themfelves, and fweat,
In fabricating walls, doors, and bars.
Becauſe they well know they are thieves,
And no man can put confidence in his brother.
XIII.
They live alfo in hoftility with the natural
elements.
They fhut out the genial air,
The true cordial of life,
And gasp for want of breath.
They whip the child for throwing off his clothes
And courting the embraces of heaven.
XIV.
They roast themſelves at the fire,
That they may be the fooner prepared for the
worms.
Taylors, coal-merchants, and phyſicians,
Multiply the miferies of life.
XV. The
188
MAMMUTH; OR,
C
XV.
The air is our taylor and glover,
And fortifies our hides againſt heat and cold.
It gives us gaiety and good fpirits,
And makes us live as long as we like.
XVI.
They love to be called by ironical names,
And to have the honour of ſerving kings;
Though thefe are fometimes delirious,
And often crazy with the gout.
Yet fuch kings fet thouſands a fighting,
They impriſon, kill them, and feize their
goods.
Millions of robuſt men
Are obedient to the nod of a child,
A woman, a driveller, a lunatic.
XVII.
The animals that roam or fly,
The Tartars, the Arabs, and the Indian
tribes,
Theſe
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
189
Theſe are all happy, compared with tethered
men,
But not fo happy as the gypsies,
Who unite the bleffings of freedom
With the advantages of laborious art.
Thefe, then, are extracts from the
Carmen Seculare of the gypfies, who
are a kind of ſpies upon the reſt of
the nations, and prone to mark the
vices and errors common to all tribes,
or nations of men, however diverfi-
fied by local or other circumftances,
that lived, as they fay, in fixed habi-
tations.
When the fun began to go down,
in the cool of the evening, the whole
Egyptian congrefs, day after day,
joined about an hour or two, kings,
queens, and ladies of the bedchamber,
in one general dance, to the found of
different mufical inftruments.
But
after
190
MAMMUTH; OR,
after the dance was finished, the
damfels were ſcattered all over the
adjoining plains, on the pretence of
fearching for fit fpots for pafturage,
for the fucceeding day, to the affes.
The kings paired off with the ladies
of the bedchamber, with whom,
during the time of the jubilee, it was
the cuſtom for them to live in a
pretty open ſtate of concubinage.
This was well enough underſtood by
all the kings and queens on the con-
tinent. I do not know whether my
partner was acquainted with this part
of the Egyptian confiitution or no;
if fhe was, he had not apprized the
highland girl of it, who, on the
preſent occaſion, was lady of the bed-
chamber. For Jenny was very rude
to the king of Poland. She gave him
a bloody nofe; and, in her native
Erfe, raiſed ſuch a clamour againſt his
addreffes,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
191
addreffes, which, as they had not a
common language, were carried on
by natural figns, as infinitely diverted
all the other kings and concubines,
who, in a ftill night, were near enough
to hear her. This cuftom, which ap-
pears to modeft Chriftians fomewhat
licentious, was mighty well fuited to
the preſent feftival, and the climate
of Africa. But, without any re-
gard to licentious pleaſures, it was
wifely interwoven in the civil confti-
tution of the gypfies, and ferved to
preſerve, or reſtore the true ftamina,
or fet of the gypſey race. Befides,
it prevented thofe adulterous in-
trigues which prevail in civilized
courts, and introduce a fpurious brood
in noble families. The queens laughed
at the frolicks of their inates; and if
there was any progeny, in confe-
quence of the aphrodifial part of this
fympoſium,
192
MAMMUTH; or,
ſympoſium, they confidered them as
their own children.
The grand banquet being over, the
deputies began to pair off; and truly
forry was I to leave their fociety. I
was exceffively inquifitive, and put
ten thouſand queftions to the eaſtern
kings, particularly thoſe from Greece,
from Afia Minor, and from Egypt,
concerning the remains of antiquity,
whether of ſcience and fentiment, or
cuſtom and art. "I think you had
"better make a tour with me," faid
the king of Egypt, "into my king-
"dom, where you will learn more
"than I can tell you; for though I
"fee many objects, and have oc-
"cafion to hear much difcourfe, I
"know not how to diſtinguiſh what
"is ancient from what is modern."
My heart glowed with defire to viſit
that
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 193
The queen
that ancient ſeat of arts.
readily agreed to accompany her ma-
jefty of France to the neighbour-
hood of Marfeilles, where their com-
pany was to ſpend the winter, and to
wait my return from Egypt. For
being long accuftomed to an erratic.
life, and to take things on a grand
fcale, this feemed no more to her than
if a Londoner fhould have faid to his
lady who had been with him at Shake-
fpeare's jubilee on Avon: " My dear,
"will you remain for a few weeks
"with this good family at Bath,
"while I go on fome buſineſs to
"Dublin.'
""
My refolution being
once taken, I fet out early next morn-
ing with the king and queen of
Egypt, with two affes, and not lefs
than three damfels who had accom-
panied them to the jubilee. What
paffed, as we journeyed through the
territories
VOL. I.
K
194
MAMMUTH; OR,
territories of Tripoli, how we paffed
the days, and how the nights, it is
needleſs to relate. The gypfies are
better received among the Moors, and
all the people of Africa, to whom
they bear a ſtrong affinity, than by
the Chriftians. During my ſtay in
the camp near Tunis, and my journey,
which took up feveral weeks, through
the territories of Tripoli, I very much
improved my knowledge of the lan-
guage of Egypt. Alas! I had need
of it all before I returned to the
European fhores!
1
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 195
CHAP. VII.
The Author is ftolen.
AFTER a fatiguing day's journey,
and a plentiful repaſt, confiſt-
ing of a kid, a cake, and a ſkin of
wine, the generous reward of good
fortune predicted to the red robber
Ben Klammore Roy Slafshim, I fell
with my companions, into a profound
fleep, faft by the refreshing rills
that fall, like dew from heaven,
on the parched foil from the hills
of Ughela. A ftrange jolting awakened
me from my fleep. I ftared around
in wild difmay. The green hills, on
either fide, ſeemed in motion. I en-
deavoured to ſtart up on my legs, but
my ankles were bound faft with the
entrails of fome animal lately flain,
K 2
which
196
MAMMUTH; OR,
which filled me with horror. I
found myſelf on a litter, flung be-
tween two mules, attended by three
mountaineers, who had been eſcort-
ing the fleecy produce of their moun-
tains into the lower and more po-
pulous parts of Barbary. The
mules, befides the litter, carried
packs, replete with various articles
of manufacture and merchandize.
from Tripoli. In the litter, one of
the men lay or flept by turns, and
the other two guarded and directed
the mules. The men perceiving me,
from the indications I exhibited of
furprize and terror, to be fufficiently
awake, cut afunder the thongs that
faftened together my ankles, and
ordered me to difmount from my
couch, and walk along with them on
foot. I afterwards learned, that
finding me buried in wine and fleep,
they
Co
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
197
they had judged it prudent to carry
me off in this manner, rather than to
alarm my companions, who were in
the fame fituation with myfelf, and
who might have attempted (for the
gypfies, females as well as males, can
handle a fabre, or fire a piftol) to effect
my deliverance. "We have occafion,'
faid they," for a man to look after the
"flocks," and they judged that I would
anſwer their purpoſe. My heart died
within me. I put many queſtions to
the fhepherds concerning my destiny;
but they returned no anfwer, and
defired me to keep filence. A journey
of eight days, and eight nights with
the interval of only a few hours
twice in the courſe of four-and-
twenty, for refreshing the mules,
through the mountains of Ughela,
brought me at laſt to the tents of the
fhepherds, where a pretty numerous
K 3
family
198
MAMMUTH; OR,
family of men, women, and children,
burrowed together with extreme
flovenlinefs like fwine. I was imme-
diately given to underſtand that it
would be my buſineſs to watch a flock
of fheep and goats, and to bring
home the dams, at ftated times, to be
milked; the boundaries being marked
out, beyond which it would neither
be prudent nor neceffary to fuffer my
flock to fray. That I fhould not
want for fuch victuals as they them-
felves lived on; milk, rice, barley,
and now and then a kid or a lamb
from the fold. There was no occafion,
I was told, for clothes to a perſon who
would never fee any human creature,
except the lad who fhould carry out.
my portion of food to me, to the pen
whither I fhould refort twice in the
twenty-four hours with my flock;
but that, if I had any fancy to wear
out
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
199
out the rags that now covered me (for
my royal robes were taken to France,
together with her own things, by the
queen), I was at liberty to do fo, and
that when theſe ſhould fail, I might,
if I thought proper, weave an apron
for myſelf, of fedges and rushes,
ornamented, if I pleafed, with the
flowers and leaves of fhrubs and trees.
Nay, they promifed, if I fhould do
my duty with good-will, to give me,
in proceſs of time, after I fhould have
proved my fidelity by the fervice of
fome years, the fkin of a lamb or a
kid for a girdle. With theſe encourage-
ments, and accoutred with a club and
an horn for founding an alarm, in
cafe of the approach of ravenous
animals or robbers, I was told, that
I muſt now take the field whither my
mafler, himſelf, would accompany
me, in order to inftruct me in all the
œconomy
K 4
200
MAMMUTH; OR,
œconomy of my new profeffion. "It
"would be difficult, I believe, for
"you," faid my Lord (for by the aid
of his own language, which was
evidently a dialect of that of the
gypfies, and that of natural figns, we
made a ſhift to underſtand one ano-
66
ther), to make your eſcape out of
"theſe mountains were you left at
"entire liberty; but as a Chriftian is
"as ftupid as an afs, and as perverſe
*C
as a mule, you might make fuch
attempts as would prove deftruc-
"tion to yourſelf, by plunging you
<s among woods and defarts to be de-
"voured by wild beafts. This, in-
"deed, would be no matter of regret
: to a true Muffulman, if it were
not that I ſhould be reduced again
"to the neceffity of looking out for
"an herdfman. Jo! jo! dragon!
"dragon!"
A large
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 201
A large maftiff, of a fierce and
horrid afpect, obedient to the call
of his mafter, fprung towards the
place where we ftood, and growling,
grinning, and briſtling up the hair of
his back, feemed to menace me with
inftant deftruction. "This here,"
faid he," is to be your companion in
"the folitary favannahs, and hills
"and vales of Ughela, through
"which we wander, as freſh verdure,
"or fprings, or the hope of prey,
"either from the unwary traveller,
"or the flocks of other fhepherds,
"invites." An iron chain, of about
three yards in length, was immedi-
ately faſtened by a ſtrong lock to the
iron collar that embraced the monster's
neck. The other end of it was at-
tached, in the fame manner, to my
left arm; and the dog was given to
underſtand, that he muft neither bite,
nor devour me, unleſs I should at-
tempt
K 5
202
MAMMUTH; OR,
tempt to break through my chain, or
to make my eſcape. The animal,
having been employed in fimilar
fervice formerly, readily underſtood
the figns, and even the articulate
It is an
language of his maſter.
abfurdity to fuppofe that dogs carry
their knowledge of languages no
farther than the interpretation of
come, fetch, go, couch, yerr,
They undoubtedly carry it much.
farther. Though they either cannot,
or do not chufe to ſpeak to us, they
* &c.
*This is an old Saxon word, ftill in ufe in the
lower parts of Scotland, and the north of Eng-
land, by which they ftir up the dog to prepare him-
felf for battle, by growling or yerring. This word
yerr, is of the ſame origin with the Dutch werre,
It
and the French guerre, and the English war.
is probable, that our favage anceſtors, in the earlieſt
periods of their history, had grinned, growled,
and yerred like dogs. See Tacit. de Morib.
German.
hold
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 203
hold converfe, and even make affig-
nations, with one another. I am afraid
that if we were aware of the full
extent of their fenfe and obfervation,
and the fhrewd remarks they make,
there are many things faid
too, in their prefence,
and done,
both by
both
gentlemen and ladies, conjointly
as well as feverally, which would be
carefully avoided. I do not hold the
maftiff to be the moſt fapient fpecies.
of dogs, and yet I could learn as
much as all that I have now advanced,
from my colleague, or guardian, or
whatever you pleaſe to call him, in
the hills of Ughela. Two ſmaller
dogs being appointed affiftants, we
were ordered to take immediate charge
of the flocks.
Struck with horror at being chained
to a dog, I abandoned myſelf to tears
and deſpair, and implored my maſter
K 6
to
204
MAMMUTH; OR,
to put an end to my existence. I
would, by irritation, have driven my
horrid keeper to do me this kind
office, if I had not been reſtrained
by the horror which the idea inſpired
of not only being torn in pieces, but
even devoured, buried in a living
grave, and my blood transfufed into
the body of a brute creature. After
rolling in the duft, embracing my
maſter's knees, and exhaufting, in
tears and fupplications, the firſt tran-
fports of my forrow, I walked with
flow steps into the fields, and entered
on my new charge. The only word
of comfort he ſpoke at my departure,
was, "Don't be afraid of Dragon;
"make no fooliſh attempts to get
"away from him, and you will find
"him an affectionate and faithful
"companion."
With
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
205
With what vigour of conception,
for the first days of this inhuman at-
tachment, did I revolve in my mind
the allegory of Plato, who confiders
the conflict between reafon and paffion
under the figure of a man chained
to a ſavage and furious monfter, and
endeavouring, more or less, to break
afunder his chain, and to affert his
freedom. The foul, in a ftate of
ſeparation from matter (if indeed it
ever exifts in fuch a ftate), or even
fo far detached from fenfation, and
refined into fuch fenfibility of ap-
prehenfion as takes place in dreams,
would feel the mifery and the horror
of being a ſlave to brutal appetite and
paffion, with as great force as that
with which I felt my attachment to
the dog. Furious paffion is not leſs
unreaſonable than this humiliating
connection in its origin, or odious in
its
206
MAMMUTH; OR,
its form, or cruel in its effects.
Every man whofe eyes are opened on
his real fituation, confiders himſelf as
chained to a monfter, by which, if
he does not deftroy it, he muſt be
deſtroyed. But cuftom and habit.
blunt the edge of all our perceptions.
Time gradually leffened my averfion
and horror against the dog. In my
folitude I began to confider him as a
kind of companion, and in the courſe
of time I believe I would have ac-
quired an attachment for the animal,
as he, alfo, on his part, began to ac-
quire for me. But our acquaintance
was happily interrupted before the
iron chain that united us had loft its.
horrors, or was converted into a bond
of affection.
Three weeks had I lived in this.
imbruted ſtate, when, one evening, a.
little
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
207
litttle after the fun went down, and
my flock was reclined on the graffy
banks of the river Radnar, as I fat
mufing, as ufual, on the means by
which I might make my efcape, my
mafter, with his three brothers, came
to me with the mules, and litter
fufpended between them, armed with
fabres and piſtols. "We are going,
faid they, "to bring along with us
"an excellent breed of goats which
"brouſe the bitter herbs that are in-
"terlined in the white clefts and
"feams of the ftupendous rocks that
"guard the fouthern entrances into
"the lofty mountains of Burrh-doo*.
"As we may meet with reſiſtance
"from the favages who claim them as
* In common books of geography this word is
fpelt Berdoa; but I have given the true orthography,
and fhall afterwards take an opportunity of giving
its etymology.
"their
208
MAMMUTH; OK,
..
"their property, although they are ut-
"terly ignorant of the great Prophet,
"it is proper that we be prepared for
"the worſt that may happen. If you,
"then, will pull up a good heart
" and go along with us, we ſhall
"commit the flocks to the damfels,
"and immediately loofe your chain.
" until our return, which, we truft,
"the Lord, for Mahummed's fake,
"will make fafe, and our journey
profperous. But if you are in the
leaft afraid to go, do not. For
"you would, in that cafe, do more
"evil than good. Stay with Dragon,
"and watch the flocks as ufual."
"There is no danger," ſaid I, "which
"I would not readily encounter in
"the fervice of fo good a maſter (for
I had gueffed what they intended,
before they came up to me, and was
therefore prepared for this act of
fimula-
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 209
fimulation)," and as for loofing the
"chain, there is no occafion for that,
Dragon will go along and be an
"ufeful affiftant." ""
Dragon may
"indeed go along with us, but the
"chain would be an incumbrance,
"and occafion inconveniences, if
"either of you fhould happen to be
"wounded or killed in battle. There-
"fore, it will be as well, I think,
"unleſs you should be afraid to
"venture yourſelf in the fight with-
"out Dragon tied to you, to leave
"the chain at home.' I readily
agreed to this propofal, declaring,
that in their company there was no-
thing in the univerfe that could pof-
fibly appear to me an object of
terror, which was indeed very true.
"This chriftian dog," faid they,
"will be a very good flave." And
turning to me, "You fhall not want
"victuals."
""
210
MAMMUTH; OR,
"victuals." I was immediately
armed, and we fet out for the moun-
tains of Burrhdoo. Four nights,
with the mornings and evenings of
the days, had we travelled, when we
approached this rugged but fublime
fcene. The circumftance which moſt
affected me in this journey was, that
Dragon kept conftantly by my fide,
and would never leave me, whether
from affection or a fenfe of duty, I
know not; but, from
but, from whatever
motive, a circumftance of great hu-
miliation and forrow. "Within the
"fpace of one day," faid my mafter,
"we fhall reach the centre of the
"mountains, where the rivulets fall
"fouthward, and then we fhall have
ઃઃ
eafy work to go down hill; and it
"is where the mountains begin to
"decline towards the fouth, that we
"fhall find that breed of goats which
" is
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
211
"is as large as our largeſt affes in
66
Ughela; but our object is to get
"the male and female for a breed.
"We have nothing more to do but
66
to keep our heads as much fouth-
"ward as the windings of the hills
" will admit."
We had long been mounting up
higher and higher. The air now
became agreeably cool, and the
foutherly current of a fmall ftream,
which iffued from a lake, reminded
my mafters of the object of our
journey. As we continued to travel
fouthward, we fell into fomething
like a track or road, in which we held
on in our courfe with a flower pace,
beginning to look fharply out for our
gigantic goats, when all of a fudden
Dragon flood flock fill, pricked
up his ears, and began to tremble.
Dragon
212
MAMMUTH; OR,
:
"Dragon is afraid," faid they, "it
"is the devil who has been frequent-
(C
((
ly feen in theſe mountains, riding
on a great black-horſe as big as a
"mountain. The dogs hear him at
66 a diftance and tremble. This is
€6
a fure fign of his approach. See,
"Dragon ftill trembles." I fat down
with two of my fellow-robbers, by
Dragon, while my mafter, with the
other brother, afcended an eminence
to fee what really could be the mat.
Anon they returned with hor
ror and deſpair in their faces, "Ali!:
"Ali! Kraken-kaxo, kraken-kaxo!
"Stin, ftin. Kraken-kaxo, kraken-
"kaxo!"-" Lord, Lord! Devil,
"devil! It is, it is. The devil! the
"devil!"-" Flee, flee! O flee from
ter.
the devil and his angels! come
"Chriflian, come!" for they had
already begun to turn their faces to
the
J
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 213
the north, "flee, with us, from the
"devil.
Ali, Ali! Mummud,
"Mummud!"-" Flee from the
"devil with you?" faid I, affuming
courage in proportion to their terror,
may God and Mummud confound
σε
<<
CC
you all; but I will join the devil
against you." Having faid this,
I purfued and pelted them with
ftones as they fled; and at laſt I
took a fteady aim at my mafter, and
diſcharged the contents of my piftol
into his hips. They fupported him
by his arms, and made off with him
as faſt as they could, while I, having
given vent in fome meaſure to the
rage which the profpect of revenge
had kindled in my breaft, began now
to reflect where I was, and what
enemies I ſhould have to encounter,
fhould I continue to prefs on their
rear until they fhould have time to
recover
214
MAMMUTH; OR,
recover from their prefent terrors,
which I was convinced were wholly
groundleſs. I therefore kept at a
diſtance from them, though I had
at first refolved to fmite them hip
and thigh, and cut them off, both
man and beaft, while their nerves.
were unftrung by fear, with my fabre.
I now exulted in my emancipation,
and felt an ecftafy of joy, in the
mere poffeffion of life and liberty,
though I knew not how to ſuſtain the
one, or fecure the other.
Nor was
I plunged into defpair when this
tranſport began to fubfide. If I
fhould fubfift on the reptiles of the
earth, and roots, and herbs, and
feeds, and to whatſoever I ſhould be
drawn by the keennefs of fenfe, puri-
fied by want, and invigorated by
the breath of heaven, I would eſteem
myſelf happy in being my own maſter.
A love of liberty was heightened by
recent
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
215
recent flavery. I felt, or I feemed to
feel myſelf not only courageous but
unuſually ftrong and active, and
under the impreffions that then agi-
tated my foul, I could have en-
countered a lion. I held on in the
tract above mentioned, as being the
oppofite courfe to that of my late
mafters, rejoicing in my ftrength,
when, lo! as I doubled one of the
projections of an abrupt and rugged
mountain, I was met full in the face
by a gigantic and woolly-haired hiero-
phant, riding on a monftrous Mam-
muth. He waved before his vifual
orbs, fomething that refembled, in
fize and appearance, the mainfail
of a ſhip, and hummed, as he moved
flowly on, certain articulate founds.
which I had heard, though lefs
diſtinctly, for ſome time, but imagined
to
216
MAMMUTH; OR,
to be the howling of the wind amidſt
the incurvations and clefts of the
mountain.
This noiſe, perceived
while yet at a great diftance by that
acute fenſe of hearing which diftin-
guiſhes the canine race, was that
which had ftruck Dragon, as being
an object both dreadful and new,
with a terror which was foon com-
municated to his companions. For
the hierophant, as I afterwards.
learnt, was amufing himſelf in his
morning's ride, to enjoy the folitude
and the refreſhing air of the Burrh-
doo mountains, with a tragedy
which had been compofed above
three thouſand years ago, on the
fubject of the overthrow of Pharaoh
in the red fea. This he read with
the voice of thunder, in all the
varied accents of grief, anger, and
defpair.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 217
deſpair. Struck with horror at fuch
awful fights and founds, I almoſt
wifhed for my dog and my chain,
and the ſafe ſolitude of Ughela.
t
VOL. I.
L
218
MAMMUTH; OR,
CHA P. VIII.
Mammuthia defcribed.
MAMMUTH is an animal from
twenty to thirty feet high; and
from thirty-fix to fifty feet in length.
The individual that I firft faw was
twenty-four feet in height, and in
length forty. His head is long, not
altogether unlike that of a wild boar,
and his front broad. He has an horn
under either eye which he moves at
pleaſure; dreadful engines of war,
were any animal, except wily man,
who rules the other animals not by
force, but by art, in this ſtage of the
world, adventurous enough to oppoſe
himſelf to Mammuth; I fay in this
ftage of the world, for bones of
animals, whofe genus is now extinct,
6
but
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
219
to
but which appear from their teeth,
and other remains, to have been car-
nivorous, are dug out of certain
marſhes in Africa, as much larger
than Mainmuth, as he is larger than
the elephant. His colour is as various
as that of an horfe or hog; though
it is chiefly grey, like that of a ſeal.
Although he can eat grafs and herbs,
as well as the fleſh of animals, yet the
food in which he takes moſt delight,
and which I fuppofe he finds
agree beft with his conftitution, is,
a fpecies of food between vegetable
and animal, and partaking of the
nature of both; certain plants, many
of them in fhape and tafte too not
unlike the large marine plants which,
in that part of Britain where I was
wont to refide, are known by the
name of TANGLE, and which, by
the fpontaneous, and almoft conftant.
motion
L2
220
MAMMUTH; OR,
motion of their leaves, which pre-
ſuppoſe or imply inftinct and volition,
plainly diſcover a principle of animal
life; as the Burrhum Chundalli, the
Senfitiva Mimofa, the Mufcipula
Dionæa, &c. The Burrhum Chun-
dalli derives its name from the word
Burrb, expreffive of that noiſe which
is made by the animal when he is
hungry and feeks his food*, The
fame word gives names to many
regions in the inland and unknown
parts of Africa, as Berdoa, at the
fouthern extremity of which, where
I first met Mammuth, the Burrhum
Chundali begins to grow; the ex-
tenfive regions of Burnu, and of
Burrh ghurfa (by a ſtrange perverſion
of words, written in our common
maps, Kururfa), all of them lying
*That fpecies of the dock, known in fome parts
of Great Britain by the name of the Burr-dock, is
a native of the interior parts of Africa.
between
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
221
between the firft and twentieth degree
of eaft longitude, and the tenth and
twentieth degree of north latitude;
and many other countries fituated
precifely in the fame longitude and
latitude beyond the line. It is in theſe
countries, and in this longitude chief-
ly, that the Mammuth is to be found;
who, as well as the favourite plant
on which he chiefly fubfifts, gives
names to many different countries.
For example: Monomotapa, accord-
ing to its juft orthography, is, Mam-
muth tapon, that is, tapons, or roots
and tough plants for Mammuth.
Monomuji, or Mammuthji, that is
large and frong Mammuths. Makok,
or Mammuthkok, fierce Mammuths.
Mujak, or Mammuthjak, tame and
docile Mammuths. This laft breed of
the Mammuth is in great requeft
throughout all the interior parts of
L. 3
Africa.
222
MAMMUTH; OR,
Africa.
He is endowed with a very
quick fenfe of fmelling, which being
nearly connected with the brain, the
grand feat and organ of both percep-
tion and reflection, acuteness therein.
is juſtly eſteemed by philofophers as
an indication of excellent capacity
both in genera, fpecies, and indivi-
duals. This obfervation is verified.
in Mammuth, who is a moft fagaci-
ous and converfible animal. He has
alſo a power, as I had almoſt ex-
perienced, of fucking in ſmall animals
into his noftrils, in the fame manner
as deer draw ferpents out of their
holes.
The duration of organized bodies
being, in general, proportioned to
their quantity of matter, Mammuth
lives from four to five hundred years.
It is a proof of the great fagacity of
the
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
223
the inhabitants of thofe countries,
who are divided into feveral different
nations, though thefe are not nume-
rous, and whom I fhall, for want of
any other common term, call by the
general name of Mammuthians, it
is a proof, I ſay, of the advancement
of the Mammuthians in knowledge,
that they are able to tame, and to
manage ſo powerful an animal. And
this they do, not fo much by the
uſe of the mechanical powers, as by
an addreſs to his moral nature, by
ſtudying what he likes and diflikes,
and miniftring to all his wants and
wishes. It is probable, that Mam-
muth, who is as much fuperior to
any animal with which we are fa-
miliarly acquainted in underſtanding
as he is in fize, has calculated the
advantages of yielding fome little
fervices to men, compared theſe with
the
L 4
224
MAMMUTH; OR,
the diſadvantages, and, on the whole,
judged it expedient to live in friend-
fhip with them, and on terms of re-
ciprocal advantage.
The Mammuthians are from twenty
to thirty feet high, and broad in the
ufual proportion of human bodies.
They are woolly-haired like the reft
of the African nations. They have
eight toes in each foot, and eight
fingers, including the thumb,
thumb, on
each hand, an organization which
gives them great advantage in becom-
ing acquainted with the properties of
material objects. There is a tradition
amongst them, that their remote an-
ceflors, who were much wifer and
ftronger than they, were endowed
with a ftill greater number of fingers
and toes. The vulgar have a fable
amongſt them, that there was a time
when
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
225.
when they had an eye in their neck.
This is rejected by the learned men.
However, the fuperior attainments
of mind and bodily qualities of the
ancients are affirmed by all. The men'
of quality among them refide chiefly
upon mountains, feparated from each
other by fertile plains, generally about
forty leagues in length, and five in
breadth; divided longitudinally by
an artificial canal which receives the
rivulets that fall from the fides of the
mountains, and which ferves to con--
vey the produce of one part of the
country to the other. It is common,
in our parts of the world, to live in
the plains, and to use the adjoining
hills for fhooting, pafture, hermi-
tages, and ſo on. It is not fo in the
interior parts of Africa. In that
fultry climate, the natives, when-
ever they can afford it, wifely live
L 5
upon
226
MAMMUTH; OR,
upon the tops of hills, for the fake
of cool air. They are at great pains
too, to plant clumps of trees that
grow to an enormous height, as well
as thickneſs, on the fummits of hills;
and ftretching planks of the fame
from the clefts of the one to the other,
form the moſt enchanting fummer-
houſes, or aviaries, or whatever you
pleaſe to call them, in the air. They
make it a rule never to multiply
mechanical invention where the pur-
poſe can be ferved by any of the
fimple contrivances or productions
of nature. There is more beauty,
fay they, in theſe trees which ſupport
our nefts than in the proudeft pillars.
They hold it as the greatest mark of
ingenuity to fupply all their wants
without mechanical inventions; and
in this reſpect, although humane,
good-natured, and indulgent to
human
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
227
human folly and weakneſs to a moſt
wonderful degree, they may be faid
to be Cynic philofophers. The
learned caft, for like the Gentoos
they are divided into cafts, wear no
kind of clothes, man, woman, nor
child. The great aim of this caft is
to be as independent on matter, and
all the cravings and pleaſures of fenſe,
as poffible. They, for the moſt
part, live in a ftate of warfare, as
it were, with flesh and blood, and
ſtudy to elevate themſelves above
fenfation, and to mix, by the
energy of abstracted or metaphyfical
ideas, with the myfterious world of
fpirits. There is a fect among them,
however, who make no great account
of fpeculative attainments, and place
the chief happineſs, as well as glory,
of life, in following unadulterated
nature. In all things they ſtudy to
L 6
refift
228
MAMMUTH; OR,
refift the allurements of fenſe, and to
be governed folely by reafon.
If you attend to the longitude and
latitude already laid down of Mam-
muthia, to the extent of their
vallies to which their hills bear ex-
actly an equal proportion, and to the
circumftance, that each natural divi-
fion, counting always from the grand
canal in the middle of the valley, is
inhabited by a feparate tribe or nation,
you will be able pretty exactly to
afcertain the number of nations that
is to be found in the whole of Mam-
muthia. As far as I could learn, the
population of each different king-
dom, or ftate in Mammuthia, may be
about fifty thouſand fouls: no great
number of fouls, you will fay, but
very curious as well as formidable
fouls, as I fhall endeavour, in what
follows, to convince you.
5
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
229
CHAP. IX.
A Converfation on Herfeback.
HE terror into which I had been
THI
thrown by the tremendous ap-
pearances already enumerated, and
the involuntary tendency I felt to-
wards the dreadful mouth of Mam-
muth, was at once removed by the
good-natured hierophant who diverted
the creature from devouring me (for
his attention to me was roufed by my
wild fereams), by gently pulling a
finall thong, made of bulls hides,
and fixed to the extremity of one of
the long horns that declined from
beneath the eyes of Mammuth. He
rode on without taking any farther
notice
230
MAMMUTH; OR,
notice of me, humming over his
tragedy. In a few feconds, he was
without reach of my voice. I ran
after him, and whooped and hollowed
with all my might; for I was now
convinced that he was, at leaſt, an in-
offenfive being. Nay, there was rea-
fon to believe that he did not want
humanity; and, in my prefent cir-
cumftances, I ftood in need of all
poffible countenance and aid from all
well-difpofed and benevolent animals,
whatever their genus, and whatever
their ſpecies. But all the efforts of
my treble voice were ineffectual to
make any impreffion, at the diftance
I foon found myſelf from the tympa-
num auri of the hierophant. I now
recollected the folitary and helpleſs
fituation in which I was placed. I
dreaded famine, and the unknown
beafts of the field. I trembled at
every
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 231
every paffing fhade, and every breeze.
The tumult of paffions which, in the
ſpace of a few hours, had diſtracted
my breaſt, over-whelmed me, and I
funk into fleep, reclined amidſt
luxuriant herbage, at the diftance of
a few yards of the tract I have already
defcribed. A few hours reft reftored
my ſpirits, and juſt a few minutes after
I awoke, beheld a fecond time my wool-
ly-haired hierophant, on his return.
from his morning excurfion, riding
on his Mammuth! I ftood on tip-toe,
to make myſelf as tall as poffible;
and for the fame purpoſe I mounted
on a dried ball, which lay near, of
the dung of the Mammuth. On this
pedeſtal I raiſed my voice, and
ſtretched out my hands in a fuppliant
pofture, to the awful mortal before
me. He inftantly ſtopped: the
creature on which he rode ſtopped
alfo, and diſcharged
diſcharged a quantity
of
232
MAMMUTH; OR,
me.
of urine with a noife that ftunned
The holy negro took great com-
paffion on me, and, ftooping down,
raiſed me gently in his arms, and
placed me on the broad baek of
Mammuth, on which I might fit,
ftand, or roll at eafe, without any
danger of falling. My head being
now nearly on the fame plane with
that of the hierophant, who, putting
on as much meeknefs of countenance
as could be infufed into eyes as large
as an ordinary bowl of negus, ad-
dreffed me in a tone of voice which
he had brought down to the fenfibility
of my auricular nerves, and in a
language, which being mixed of the
gypfey, the Perfian, the Greek, and
the Hebrew, with the help of natural
figns, I made a fhift to underſtand.
The first queftion he put to me was,
"If I wanted any thing?" I replied,
"That
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
233
"That I was a moft unfortunate and
"miferable vagabond, and wanted
66
He
every thing."-" But do you want
"at this moment any neceflary re-
"freihment?" I confeffed that I felt
myfelf weak and faint, though I
could not well fay whether I was
thirfly or hungry, or either.
opened a bag, made of the fkins of
lions, and holding up a fibrous fort of
fubftance, in fhape not altogether
unlike thofe leathern inftruments with
which hair-dreffers fhoot, as it were,
and dart forth the powder on the
heads of their patients, wide at one
end, but very narrow at the other,
applied one of the apertures at this
narrow extremity, of what I shall call
the Narodraftic, to one of my noftrils,
and directed me to turn my face to-
wards an opening which communicat-
ed through the air, between a large
plain
234
MAMMUTH; OR,
plain and that fpot on which we now
ftood, and towards which a gentle
breeze wafted the moſt aromatic and
refreſhing ſpices. I foon felt my
fpirits very much recruited, and my
ftrength reſtored, although my ap-
petite for food was rather ftimulated
than fatiated by this whet. "You
"fhall have more fubftantial food by
"and bye," faid mine hoft, "when
""
you come to my neft;" for that is
the language in which the woolly-
haired hierophants ſpeak of their
houſes. "In the mean time, this will
fupport you on your journey."-
They talk with us of reflecting, and
refracting, and drawing to a focus the
rays of light, and diſcovering new
planets. That is nothing to collecting
refreſhing influences in this manner.
"Have
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
235
(6
"Have you ever been at fea?" faid
the good-natured hierophant. "Yes,
"often."Are you fick when at
"fea?" "No; never." "Then you
"will be able to bear, without fick-
nefs, the rolling motion of my
"beaft." Having faid this, he
mounted on Mammuth, having firſt
made me ſtep back to the hinder-part
of the animal, where he was broadeft,
and where I lay or fat as in a warm
and comfortable little vale. We
jogged on at great leiſure. I adven-
tured to put the queftion to my con-
ductor, "Why he had paffed by me,
"at firſt, without taking any other
"notice of me than just to preſerve
"me from the jaws of Mammuth?"
he faid, "That he had, at different
"times, feen creatures of my fize and
"form, though never exactly of the
"fame complexion, which, in the va-
"riety
236
MAMMUTH; OR,
"riety of nature (faid he), I doubt not
"are of the human fpecies, eſpecially
CC as I have fo often heard that the
66
greater part of the earth fwarms
"with little younglings. They have
"all of them run away at my ap-
"proach, in great terror. My
CC
curiofity has induced me fometimes
"to catch them, and after endeavour-
"ing to allay their fears by the
"kindeft treatment to converfe with
"them; but I never found any
of
"them who had any ideas beyond
"the ſheep-fold, or fome conquer-
"ing hero whom they spoke of under
"the name of Muhammed. I there-
"fore was unwilling to give you any
CC
pain; but ſeeing you a fuppliant,
"I could not pafs you in diftrefs."
I endeavoured to imprefs him with as
much reſpect for myſelf and the
European nations as poffible, by an
account
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
237
account of the ftate of our arts and
fciences, government, war, politics,
and various purfuits. He was happy
to find me fo converfible; and ſaid,
"That he could plainly trace, in
"what I had told him, feveral doc-
"trines that muft have made their
66
way to our countries from thoſe in
"Africa. All that you fay," continued
the hierophant, "of the motion of
"the earth has been long underſtood
"here, with many other facts equal-
r
ly curious, and more important.
"We (I mean the caft to which
"I belong, with now and then a
(C
difciple from other cafts) fill
"make philofophy our main pur-
"fuit; but our refearches in na-
"tural philofophy and hiftory are
"chiefly guided by references to
"fomething ufeful, by which I do
"not underſtand the multiplication
"of
238
MAMMUTH; OR,
"of pleafing fenfations, but the re-
"moval of fuch as are painful. It
"is the great end of philoſophy here
"to live, not in a tumult of plea-
"fure, which the experience of ages
"has convinced us cannot exiſt with-
"out proportionable pain; but to live
"in tranquillity, to perform, with
"good-will, the duties of life, to ab-
"ftract ourſelves from fenfe, to make
ઃઃ
frequent excurfions into the ideal
"world where all is calm and clear,
"and to invent, if poffible, the grand
"defideratum of natural philofophy,
"which is, to contrive fome method
"by which we may ourſelves go out
"of the world in as pleaſant a manner
"as that in which we were brought
"into it. This would at once remove
"human mifery. It would fet us
"above the fear of pain and death.
"It would convey us immediately
" into
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 239
tr
"into that pure empyreal world of
"reafon and contemplation, to which
"it is the glory of man to aſpire, and
"their fupreme felicity to enter. We
"have," faid he, "after reafoning
"about the matter for feveral thou-
"fand years, at laft learned to put
"off our clothes, which is at once
"conducive to health and long life."
"I think," faid 1, you make it an
object of your ſtudies to know how
to fhorten life, and to emancipate
yourſelves wholly from matter."
"True," faid he, "but at the fame
"time that we ftudy to make death
"pleaſant, it takes us a very long
"time before we can be fitly pre-
pared for it; for there is danger,
if we ſhould die before we be
properly purified, of being fent
"back to animate fuch forms as are
"incompatible with rationality; for
"there
240
MAMMUTH; OR,
"there is an unaccountable fympathy
"that pervades all nature, by which
things homogeneous are drawn to-
"gether. There are men amongſt
us who remember, as they pre-
"tend, to have lived in another ſtate
"of existence, and, under other
"names,
66
names, to have animated other
"perfons. If this be fo, it is pro-
"bable that our people, when they
"fail with all their efforts of fub-
**
{ C
limating their views, are fent to
"animate bodies of men of fmall
"ftature and attainments in the
"first place, whom we call little
younglings, and, if they do not
"make progrefs in purification, in
"that ſtate, that they are imbruted
"in
in mere animals." The term
which I have literally tranflated little
younglings, the Mammuthians ap-
ply
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 241
ply to all other nations befides them-
felves, concerning whom they give
themſelves very
little concern; having
a very mean, and indeed, I hope
I may fay it without vanity, a very
unjuft opinion of our
our capacities
and accompliſhments, their ideas
of us being chiefly derived from
fuch barbarous wretches as thofe who
carried me along with them to the
confines of Mammuthia, to fteal
goats. They give not themfelves
any trouble about what paffes among
the little younglings. They with
only to live with tranquillity in the
midst of their mountains; as for
our dominions, and the extent of our
countries, they would confider them
as very uſeleſs lumber, and a very
great burden; nor is there any thing
that could poffibly engage them to
VOL. I.
take
M
242
MAMMUTH; OR,
take the trouble of governing them,
unleſs, indeed, we could raiſe fuch
aromatic flowers as grow in fome
favoured fpots of their country, and
as raviſh the fenfe with joy too
ecftatic for fuch nerves as ours to
endure. Yet are
Yet are not they without
ambition of conqueft. But my
gentlemen, I I mean the bulk of
them, fly at higher game; nothing
will ferve them but to be made hiero-
phants, . e. Kings and prieſts, in
heaven, where they fhall be enter-
tained with new fights, and new
fongs to all eternity.
Kreefch baſch wamen,
Nouſch toom dennywafchel *.
* Salluft. Hence that of Salluft.-Mens agit
atque habet, &c.
i. e.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 243
i. e. "The ftomach is foon filled, but
i.e.
"the mind of even a prince is not to
"be fatiated." According to the phi-
lofophy of this proverb, it would be
madneſs to contend for extent of
dominion which could not add any
thing to the extent of our bellies:
but true wiſdom to indulge cu-
riofity, and to fearch for know-
ledge, the appetite for which is en-
creaſed by gratifying it. I happened
once to mention our lofs of America;
and at another time, the difcovery of
the Georgium Sidus with its fatellites:
the great ball itflf by Mr. Herfchel,
and the inferior, or fecondary balls by
Mifs Herſchel. "I fuppofe," faid
the great hierophant, " your coun-
66
try will find more than ample con-
"folation for the lofs of thoſe pro-
vinces, in having difcovered new
"worlds."
M 2
244
MAMMUTH; OR,
"worlds." I reafoned concerning the
difmemberment of his Majefty's do-
minions, and the eclipfe that the lofs of
Columbia would occafion of his glory.
I was aftoniſhed that he did not fo
much as know what the word glory
meant. I made a long difcourfe
upon it: but then it was, that I
found I had to do with the acuteness
of a Mammuthian hierophant. It
was not virtue; it was not the pof-
feffion of affection, confidence, or
eſteem; it was not power; it was
only a name. Virum volitare per ora.
I was obliged to confefs, in order to
be free of difpute, that this was in-
deed what we called glory. "Then,"
faid he, "little youngling, your
"hierophant is a gainer by the fe-
"veration you mention; for his
name would never have been fo
"much
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
245
"much talked of had he not loft
"America. The calm poffeffion of
"the provinces would have flipt over
"without any revolution." "
"True,"
I replied, "but this is not honour-
"able fame."" Then the question is,
"Whether your hierophant occafioned
"the lofs of the provinces by any mif-
(
conduct on his part?" I repreſented
to him that the difmemberment of
America naturally fprung out of our
free government; that the temporif-
ing policy of adininiſtration on the
one hand, and the factious clamours
of oppofition on
on the other, had
equally promoted the revolt; but that
the ideas of the hierophant himſelf
appeared to be natural and judicious.
No fooner did he learn, for he had
been kept long in the dark, that the
Americans were refolutely bent on
emancipa-
M 3
£45
MAMMUTH; OR,
emancipation from our government,
than he fent commiffioners of peace
with offers of reconciliation, and
redreſs of grievances. Thefe being
rejected, he determined to puſh the
war with vigour; and he would
have done it, had he been properly
ferved. Very well," ſaid my
companion," it plainly appears that
"fame, in your part of the world,
"has nothing to do with merit,
"and that, in reality, to have a name,
"to be talked of any how, is glory."
I again endeavoured to make diftinc-
tions, and he again preffed me by
arguments in all the fubtlety of logic.
In proportion as I was embarraffed,
I became eager and paffionate. This
the black logician perceiving, faid,
"Come, come, little youngling
(Mouffin-pouffin), be calm; it is
66
" evident
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 247
" evident that, according to your
" own account, your hierophant
"has loft nothing but glory; and
"I have proved to you, that his
glory, fame, or name, will be
66
CC
ſpread and perpetuated, not buried
"in oblivion by the event in quef-
"tion. I might go farther," con-
tinued he, and affirm, that the
" addition of the new worlds is
"fuch an encreaſe of dominions and
"Fame, as few of your rulers, I
''
fuppofe, can boaft of. Thefe bear,
"and will, no doubt, bear his name
"to all generations." I argued, that
the cafe here was different; that he
had no power, that he was unable to
control the ſtars. Neither, faid he, was
he able, from the great diſtance, as
well as the moral cauſes you have juſt
ftated, to govern America. "Befides,
M 4
"is
248
MAMMUTH; OR,
"is not his conftellation, his Georgium
"Sidus, which now bears his name
"inſtead of that Columbia you men-
"tion, as well governed as if he
"governed it himself? Let but his
"will concur with that of the Al-
mighty Ruler; let him but form,
"and exert the volition, Thy will be
"done in heaven, and he has all the
rr
CC
power over his celeftial territories
"that he would in fact exert were
"he at once all-gracious and om-
"nifcient, as well as omnipotent.
"Mouffin-pouffin, you muſt not be of-
"fended: you, no doubt, know many
"things of which I am ignorant ;
"but you have come here to learn
"true moral philofophy, as well as
"the art of logic."
In this manner, we came jogging
on our way at a great rate, as may
well
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 249
well be fuppofed, though Mammuth
only walked. My mind was fo
deeply engaged in controverfy with
my black friend, that I paid no at-
tention to the furrounding objects.
My eyes were conftantly fixed on the
head of the hierophant, at which I
levelled my frequent replies with
great vociferation, and began to con-
fider him as a ftrange vifionary.
This would be a rare companion,
thought I with myfelf, for Lord
Monboddo; a large, ftrong, hairy,
naked man, defpifing all European
fancies and forms, abftracting his mind
from fenfe, and indulging the hope
of living for ever. But, my ardour
having been evaporated, rather than
checked by the arguments of the
hierophant, I began to look around
me, and to ſurvey the new country
M 5
in
250
MAMMUTH; OR,
in which I travelled. For in ſome
of the ſketches already given, I
thought it quite unneceffary to date
the times when I was informed of
them.
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 251
CHA P. X.
Natural Curiofities.
雞
​THE firft object that ftruck me,
was the fwarms of fmall birds
that every where furrounded us, and
that were fo fimply, or fo daringly fa-
miliar as to pick and to perch òn my-
felf, the hierophant, and the Mam-
muth. They were very pretty little
creatures, with wings almoft tranf-
parent, moſt beautifully variegated,
and covered over with fomething be-
tween feathers, down, and hairs of
the finest filk. "Blefs me," faid I,
"what a number of finall birds you
have in this country?"-" Birds,
Mouffin-pouffin," faid my conduc-
M 6
tor,
252
MAMMUTH; OR,
'
why theſe are infects." He had
fcarcely faid this when an eagle darted
from an impending rock, of the fize
of a large Greenland bear. The
fough, as the Mammuthians call it,
or the noiſe of his long black wings,
was awful. The fmall birds fled at
his approach, or fluttering and buz-
zing in tremulous clouds, took refuge
on the body of Mammuth. I have
often noticed, that in Europe flies.
will do the fame thing. They will
fit down on a man or horſe in
whole fhoals; which is no doubt
owing to the fame caufe; an impref-
fion of terror. The eagle darted his
terrible red eyes at me as he paffed,
and wheeling, repaffed, as if he had
deſtined me for his prey. He certainly
would have attacked me if I had not
been protected by the friend that ac-
companied
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 253
companied me, and the beaſt on
which I rode. I foon perceived that
I was not born to be an inhabitant
of this climate. It is foreign to the
purpoſe of this Tour to enter minute-
ly into the natural hiftory of the
country, my main object being, as
is fet forth in the title-page, to il-
luftrate the varieties of human na-
ture, and to difplay fome of its
general principles and propenfities
on a grand feale, and exhibit them,
when pushed into confequences to
which they fairly lead, when there
is an opportunity of carrying them
to their full extent. I fhall only fay,
in general, that though there are as
many genera and fpecies of animals,
as well as plants, in Mammuthia, as
in any country I know, there are by
far fewer individuals; which, in-
deed, is not to be wondered at, con-
fidering
254
MAMMUTH; OR,
fidering their great fize; for they as
much exceed animals and plants of
the fame kinds and ſpecies in Europe,
as Mammuth exceeds a large Flan-
drican horfe, or a fmall elephant.
on
I might illuftrate the large fcale
which every thing is carried
on in thoſe regions, in both the
animal and vegetable kingdom, by
a very familiar proof, which might,
indeed, be deemed below the gra-
vity of history, did not the philo-
fophical ſpirit of inquiry, like that of
the fun, fhine uncontaminated even
on a dunghill. The purpoſe to
which the whin or furze-bufh, which,
to the inhabitants of the inland
parts of Africa, appears like the velvet
fog, is commonly applied, impreffed
on my imagination, in a more forci-
ble manner than any other objec
whatever, a conviction of the great
fcale
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
255
ſcale on which their bodies are con-
ftructed.
There are feveral kinds of animals,
too, in Mammuthia, ftrange, miſhapen,
uncouth, and monftrous creatures,
chiefly oviparous, as ferpents, liz-
ards, and aquatic birds, wholly un-
known in Europe, but concerning
which we have feveral notices,
hints, and allufions in Ctefias, and
other ancient writers, whofe rela-
tions have been too rafhly pro-
nounced to be fabulous, becauſe they
did not accord with that little model
that the faſhionable philofophers of
the times (for philofophers are the
taylors of nature), whatever they be,
cut out for the great machine of the
univerfe, which rolls on, without
ceafing, and which, continuing to
roll for ever and ever more, will
grind both them and their models
to
256
MAMMUTH; OR,
to powder.
The very reafon why
the relations of thoſe writers have
been fo generally difcredited, is, as I
have now diſcovered, in reality, no
fmall confirmation of their truth.
They affirmed, very juftly, that all
nature has a propenſity to run in-
to form and into life, and that
many ftrange and monftrous pro-
ductions had been formed by the
potent rays of the fun, acting on the
fermenting ooze of the Nile; though
many of theſe were but fhort lived,
as not being adapted to the general
courfe of nature, which is, on the
whole, regular and uniform, both
in the means of impregnation and
nouriſhment. Let no fact, how-
ever fabulous it may appear, or how-
ever folitary, be altogether rejected.
A new fact may be difcovered in
-
time,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
257
time, which may ferve to illuftrate it.
Things apparently the moft remote
may come thus, in the proceſs of
time, to be united, as the phænomena
on the tops, and in the bowels of
mountains, are explained by the
operations that are, at this moment,
going on in the depths of the ocean.
From the craggy heights of Mam-
muthia, iſſues many a ftream, on the
banks of which, when it reaches,
the warm and fertile plain, are feat-
tered, at certain feafons, the eggs of
the animals juft mentioned, which
are often carried down by periodical
inundations into thofe rivers which
fill and fwell the fruitful Nile.
Thither is carried, now and then,
that is one or two, perhaps, in the
courfe of a century, an egg, as an
Indian thell is now and then found
on
258
MAMMUTH; OR,
on either shore of the Atlantic. Thefe
eggs, depofited in the genial mud of
the warm Nile, and awakened to life
by the heat of the fun, exhibit to the
Afiatic and European nations on the
Mediterranean, thofe prodigies which
have been erroneoufly pronounced to
be fabulous.
We had by this time reached the foot
of the Burdoo mountains, and come to
the vaft plain, the largeft in Africa,
which divides thefe from the moun-
tains of Burnu. We turned to the
left, and travelled eastward about ten
leagues, paffing by feveral vallies, at
the entrance of which, we faluted
feveral men mounted on Mammuths.
The plain, on either fide, began now
very fuddenly to narrow, till we came
at laft to its caftern extremity, where
both
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
259
both mountains were united, and
affumed another name, through a
winding valley of which, the great
canal that divided the plain in a lon-
gitudinal direction, fwelled by many
a rill, fell at laft into one of thoſe
rivers that feed the Nile, or accord-
ing to the expreffive language of the
country, one of the paps of the Nile.
We entered into this valley, which,
for the fpace of about one league,
formed a ftraight line, falling per-
pendicularly en a line drawn
right angles, acroſs the plain. Where
the valley began to affume a wind-
ing courfe, the good-natured hiero-
phant turned about the head of his
beaſt, the ground being now elevated
about five hundred feet above the
canal that fwept in filent majefty be-
low, that I might have a view of the
glorious
at
260
MAMMUTH; OR,
glorious courfe of the canal, and the
luxuriant plains that firetched about
fifty leagues from east to west, and
ten or twelve from fouth to north.
The produce of the country was car-
ried by lighters from one place to
another. The bufy, or working peo-
ple, lived in villages at the junctures
of the crofs cuts that extended to
the great canal from the roots of the
mountains. Animals of uncommen
fhape and fize, fported in the canals,
floated in the air, or perched on the
trees, or grazed on the plain.
Among thefe Mammuth appeared
confpicuous, like a goú on the plains
of Troy, among terreftrial mortals.
The fun was within an hour of going
down, and darted his oblique rays
on the whole extent of the canal be-
fore us, which feemed like one pillar
of
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 261
of fire. I could have gazed until
this day on fo dazzling an object; but
the hierophant reminded me, that
the day was far fpent, and that it
would be proper to move without
delay towards his neft, which was
fituated on a lofty cliff, not far
diftant, indeed, but which he withed
to reach, while it was yet day, as I
was a franger, and fome contriv-
ances must be made for my accom-
modation. I foolishly urged, being
willing to prolong my profpect, that,
if his neft was not many leagues
diftant, we might reach it, even after
fun-fet, in the twilight. He afked
me how long I fuppofed the twilight
might laft? I told him as nearly as I
could imagine, forgetting that I was
out of Britain. "You must have
"come," faid he, after pauſing for a
good
262
MAMMUTH; OR,
good while, "from a very northern
latitude. You muſt have come a
66
a great way from beyond the
"watery-belt," meaning the Medi-
terranean. I readily understood him,
and perceived him to be an acute
and able aftronomer. I began im-
mediately to correct myſelf with re-
gard to the duration of the twilight
fo near the equator; and to compli-
ment him, forfooth, as if I had been
the greater philofopher, on his know-
lege of geometry and geography,
declaring, that I was equally fur-
prized, and delighted to find fo much
knowledge among black people; for
I confidered, at that time, the effects
on my fpirits, and whole frame, of
inhalations by means of the naro-
draftic, as a mere accidental dif-
covery, fuch as thofe that are ftum-
bied on without any genius (which
chiefly
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 263
chiefly appears in improving the
hints of accident) by the Chineſe;
and familiarity had made me exceed-
ingly bold and impudent. The
hierophant ſmiled, and told me, that
there was not one of thoſe men en-
gaged in work on the canal, who
would not have inftantly drawn the
fame conclufion from what I had
faid of the twilight, that he did.
However, added my mathematical ne-
gro, we do not value ourſelves on fuch
calculations as thefe: "Menfuration,"
faid he," is a good inftrument in the
"hands of philofophy, but it gives
no data."
66
As we paffed through this valley,
we here and there perceived the neft
of an hierophant, on fome lofty cliff,
adorned with groves of trees; and
fome Mammuthians hailed
8
us in
founds
264
MAMMUTH; OR,
founds of thunder, and bowed with
their heads to the very ground.
Herdsmen began to drive their ſheep
and goats into caves, hollowed out,
by the hand of nature, like thofe of
the Cyclops in Homer, of the fides
of the mountains, lions to roar, and
tygers to growl in diftant woods,
and bats to fly through the air like
young fwine with leather wings,
when we arrived at the lofty neft of
my conductor, fixed in a grove of
the loftieft cedars, on the fummit of
a rock, projecting on the one fide
over the valley through which we
had paffed; and declining on the
other, for many miles, towards
another vale, meandring through
other parts of the
of the ridge of hills
already defcribed. Mammuth was
conducted, by a fervant, to a fold
where
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
265
where he enjoyed reft, and a plenti-
ful repaſt of thoſe fenfitive plants in
which he delights. The hierophant
called for his wings, and taking me
gently under his left arm, aſcended
up into his neft.
VOL. I.
N
266
MAMMUTH; OR,
I
CHAP. XI.
The Hofpitality of the Hierophant.
HAVE already mentioned the
general principles on which thoſe
habitations, that they call nefts, are
conftructed, becauſe, otherwife my
readers, if I have any, would not
have understood me. But they will
probably expect, that I fhall now
give a more particular defcrip-
tion of the hofpitable neft to which
I was, in this wonderful manner,
kindly conducted. It was, or rather
it is (for it is but a very fhort time
fince it was in excellent repair), it is
about the dimenfions of Groſvenor
Square, formed of long planks, or
deals,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
267
deals, fwung to the clefts of trees,
I mean where the boughs branch off
from the trunk, by thongs made of
the ſkins of Mammuth. Curtains
confifting of the fkins of lions, conies,
leopards, and tygers, flain in the
chace, and dreffed fo finely as to be
as foft on the infide and gloffy as
filk, were hung around on cords
twined out of the tough intrails of
the fame animals, with more cun-
ning than the fine linen of ancient
Egypt, and which were difpofed in
ſuch a manner as to haul up as many
of the ſkins as might ferve for a pro-
tection, in cafe of rain and hail,
which is fometimes precipitated in
thofe regions with fuch violence as
neither to be repelled, abforbed, nor
attracted by the umbrageous roof to
the arms and trunks of the cedars.
Couches alfo, compofed of the fra-
N 2
grant
268
MAMMUTH; OR,
grant leaves of aromatic fhrubs and
trees, and the fkins of wild beafts,
rendered pliant and kindly by the
gentle hand of the furrier, and per-
fumed by the fragrance of that rofe
which forms the great luxury of all
the Mammuthian tribes, and of
courſe the great caufe of all their
contentions. Geometrical and aftro-
nomical diagrams, maps of all the
vallies in Mammuthia, the figures
and manners of animals depicted by
the moſt emphatical fituations and
purſuits, the
the various
various occupations,
paffions, and appearances of the
different claffes of men, and certain
hiftorical events, adorned the cedar
pillars of this extraordinary man-
fion; and books on all the differ-
ent fubjects of fcience and art, in
great rolls of paper, in the ancient
manner, were appended to the boughs
and
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 269
and branches of the waving roof;
while an apparatus for chemiſtry and
experimental philofophy, difpofed
with infinite propriety and beauty in
fuch a manner as to convey, in their
fymbolical way, a degree of inftruc-
tion to the mind, even by the order and
arrangement of the various materials
and inftruments, and the general
effect of the correſponding and har-
monious whole. Here and there, at
different diſtances, around the ſpheri-
cal dome, planks were extended, at
the extremities of which were formed
fmall round galleries, of different
dimenfions, in the middle of which
a little board was raiſed, fit only for a
fingle perfon, whether as a reading,
or writing deſk, or a dining table;
whence the neft, feen at a diſtance,
bore a reſemblance, which was in-
tended, to the fun with his furround-
N 3
ing
270
MAMMUTH; OR,
ing planets. Thefe galleries ferve for
the members of the family to retire to
when they pleafe to write and ftudy,
and alſo to eat on. And here I muft
mention a very fingular trait in the
character of the Mammuthians,
They have a ftrange modefty and
fhame, efpecially in the higher claffes,
in the article of eating and drinking,
and very little, on the contrary, in
all thoſe matters in which other na-
tions, eſpecially fuch as have made
great advances in civilization, ſtudy
the utmoſt fecrecy. The neceſſary
repairs of the body they confider as
humiliating remembrancers of their
frailty and mortality; whereas, what-
ever has the air of fuperabundance,
they regard with great indifference,
and tranfact in the face of the world.
They have no fuch thing in their nefs
as coal or candle. When nature draws
her
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
27T
her fable curtain, they either retire to
reft, or walking up and down their
fpacious cabin, meditate, or hum a
fong, or converfe with one another,
or, if it is moon or ftar light, con-
template the heavens. On the earlieft
dawn of day, again, they fpring from
their balmy beds, and purfue their
daily occupations. What little animal
food they take is prepared by ſmall
culinary fires, lighted up on fome con-
venient fpot of ground near their nefts.
Having thus defcribed the man-
fions of the Mammuthian hiero-
phants, I proceed to give an account
of my reception at the hofpitable
neft into which I had the honour of
being introduced. But I must first
defcribe the manner in which people
are raiſed up from the ground into
thofe lofty abodes. It is fimply this:
weights of different kinds are hung
N. 4
over
272
MAMMUTH; OR,
over pullies, fixed in the cleft of the
central tree, or that tree which ftands.
in the very middle of the neft. At
the bottom of the tree there is a
machine in the form of an hawk,
with expanded wings, into which
the perfon fteps who wishes to afcend.
And, on a fignal being given, which is
no other than the pulling of a cord faft-
ened to a great nail, the proper weight
is let down, and up flies the hawk.
The weight is immediately pulled up
by means of an axis in peritrochio,
and down goes the bird to wait for
another paffenger.
We arrived at the neft just before
it was dark. The lady hierophant
was fitting on the flowery carpet, I
mean a carpet compoſed of real
flowers, converfing with three chil-
dren, a boy of about forty years of
age,
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 273
age, not greatly above mine own ſize,
which was about fix feet; and two
girls, fomewhat lefs, the one about
thirty, the other twenty.
An elderly
lady lay fleeping on one couch; and
a very old man, who was her brother,
faft by her, on another. The first
was the father of the hierophant, the
fecond his aunt. This was the
whole family. Domeftic fervants
they had none; nor fervants of any
kind, befides one family, whoſe buſi-
nefs is to look after Mammuth, and go
on errands to the plain; and another
who were employed in the dairy, and
in taking care of the flocks, and the
poultry. The children perceived me
firſt, and imagining that I was a
play fellow their papa had brought
home for them, came running up
and ftroaked, and careffed me with
N 5
great
274
MAMMUTH; OR,
great fondneſs, offering their onions
and bread and butter which they were
taking by way of fupper, before they
fhould go to bed; for this I will
fay, that the Mammuthians, man,
woman, and child, as they are the
largeft, fo are they the beft humoured
people that I know in the world.
Indeed, it is not your large, fat,
fonfy people, but your little,
ſkinny, and cramped men and
women, for the most part, that are
wafpifh, captious, and crabbed. The
good lady herfelf followed the chil-
dren, exclaiming, "Ow, wow"
(thofe very words) my dear, what
"little fellow is this you have
66
* A good expreffive old German word, which
caprice has almoſt banished from our language,
denoting the full extenfion and developement of
all the parts of the body.
"brought
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
275-
66
brought us? My ftars! how red
"he is, like a new-born infant *
"and all chained up, poor little
""
creature, in the vile fkins of fome
"ftrange animals. Come, let me
"give him relief;" and with this,
feeing my legs and thighs more tight-
ly tied than any other part of my
body, fhe began directly to unbutton
and tear my breeches. To this, by
cries and ftruggling, I made all the
reſiſtance in my power, which inſtant-
ly brought my conductor to my re-
lief, who had ſtepped afide to enquire
about his poor old father, and to
reverence him after returning from
his ride, and before he ſhould retire to
reft. "O!" ſaid the lady, "where did
tr
*It is remarkable, that although we call our-
felves white men, we appear to the Indians, as
well as thefe Africans, to be red.
N 6
cc
you
}
:
276
MAMMUTH; OR,
°°
you find him? Oh! he is like a
little man. How old is he?
"Where did he come from? Are
<c
you going to keep him here?"
with a thouſand other queſtions, all in
a breath. At the fame time, the old
woman roſe haftily from her couch
to look at Mouffin pouflin with the
children, while the old man lay in
his bed, faying, he would have an
opportunity of feeing him to-morrow
morning. Theſe proofs of the excefs
of female above male curiofity, af-
forded an agreeable proof that I had
fallen into the hands of human crea-
tures, fubject to like paffions with
ourfelves. The good lady being in-
formed by her huſband, that he had
not yet enquired into all the parti-
culars concerning which fhe withed
to be informed, defired to know,
whether
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
277
whether I did not ftand in need of
fome food, as he himſelf, fhe fup-
poſed, alſo did. "Go out, my dear!
go out of the houſe! pofitively
(L
""
you ſhall not ſtay one minute
longer and one of the children
"fhall alfo fhew the way out to this
""
pretty little mannikin.' This
mixture of kindneſs, and apparent
rudeneſs, ſurpriſed me infinitely.
But the particulars, already men-
tioned, will fufficiently explain it to
the reader. The hierophant retired;
and after a few minutes, the boy led
me out, and having pointed with
his finger to the table, haftily with-
drew. I found the half of a young
pig, about the fize of an horfe,
roafted, the fight of which, though
I was very hungry, filled me with
horror. There was a chicken boiled,
5
of
278
MAMMUTH; OR,
of the fize of a well-fed lamb, with
barley-cakes, falt, and various herbs
and roots, among which there was
abundance of afparagus, by no means
fo much out of proportion to that
which we force to grow in our coun-
try (for there it grows wild) as one
would imagine. This was all mighty
well. But there was no knife or
fork. However, I quickly recol-
lected, that neither the gypfies, nor
the Moors, amongst whom I had
fojourned for fome weeks, nor the
devils with whom I lived, chained to
the dog in Ughela, ufed any other
inftrument in eating than their
fingers; wherefore, laying the
chicken on the floor, I placed my
left foot on its neck, having first
covered it with fome of the leaves
and flowers that beftrewed the floor,
and
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED. 279
and tore, not without great efforts,
one of its legs from its body. I
made a plentiful and delicious repaft;
and having turned on the extended
plank to the neft, without fear, for
it was wide enough for me to do this,
though I think not for a Mam-
muthian, began to call for fome
cheeſe. It happened, that with all
my fcraps of Hebrew, Perfic, Greek,
Gypfy, and Morefcoe, I could not
find a word that could convey to
their minds the idea of cheeſe, nor
yet of milk, which is very odd. I
had therefore recourfe to natural
figns, in which the Mammuthians
(their very writings being, for the
moft part, in hieroglyphics, though
they uſe alfo the alphabet), are very
dextrous. Their fheep being as large
as our horfes, I was not fure whether
they
280
MAMMUTH; OR,
they cried and bleated in the fame
manner as ours, or no. But that
line of Theocritus, in which, ſpeak-
ing of sheep, he fays, Bâ, bá legon-
tes badizon, which came acroſs my
mind at that time, rendered it very
probable that all fheep, in all coun-
tries and ages, bleated in the fame
manner. I then fell a crying bâ, bâ,
and one moment made the appear-
ance of fucking; and another, of
holding back my head, as if in the
act of drinking. This they inftantly
understood, and half fmiling, half
blufhing, beckoned to me to retire,
which I did. They brought me
both milk and whey, which made
me fret the more at my want of
cheeſe, that I was now convinced
that they did not want it, though
I did not know how to call for it.
I
there-
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
281
therefore carried back the great horn
fuli of milk, and looking at it well
pleafed, pinched the tips of the
veffel, bit it with my teeth, and
moving my fore-finger backward
and forward over the full flowing
horn, made a fhew of cutting or faw-
ing fomething with a knife, or other
edged tool. This they prefently
underſtood, and cheefe, with a pen-
knife too, like a fcythe, to cut it,
was laid on the fmall table in the
gallery. I now finished my repaſt
with a piece of moft admirable cheefe,
to which our beſt Cheſhire and Par-
meſan are as infipid as a fungous
turnip in the month of May, ex-
hauſted by the great and glorious
efforts of reproduction. It will feem
odd that I fhould, in fuch circum-
ftances, be anxious about cheeſe.
The
282
MAMMUTH; OR,
The truth is, that a Scotchman,
early accuſtomed to live very much
on milk in all its modifications, can
no more be comfortable without
cheefe, than without his fnuff or
tobacco. I once knew an old Scotch
Highlander, a poor laird in Glen-
quaigh, who
who prized cheeſe and
whiſky above the most delicious
wines and rareft viands in the
world. This honeft Highlander, after
being fplendidly entertained at din-
ner in a moſt hofpitable and elegant
houſe near the head of the beautiful
valley of Strathear, at the conclufion
of the treat miffed the cheeſe, which
was not, as in former times, pre-
fented in whole cheefes, which they
call kebbucks, but in fmall bits on little
platters. "Cich, oich!" faid he,
"where is the cheeſe and the
"whisky?"
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
283
"whiſky?" Such is the influence of
cuſtom on taſte. I was going to take
a draught of whey after this full
meal, when the lady hierophant in-
fifted, as I had eaten of animal food,
to take a cup of fermented liquor,
which was made of barley, and very
much refembled what in England
they call home-brewed, and in Scot-
land cap, that is cup-ale. It was
neither defired, nor expected, that
I ſhould retire when I quaffed my
ale.
They are not very fcrupulous of
drinking in company. It is only as
if a European lady, in a hot day,
fhould take, out of her pocket, a
cambric-handkerchief to abforb the
ſweet atmoſphere of her counte-
nance; or, as if a gentleman fhould
ftep afide a little-to do what?-
Why to make water. Rien que piller.
As
284
MAMMUTH; OR,
As to eating, particularly animal
food; Ce'ft tout un autre choſe, that
is, a pear of another trez. I cannot
exprefs by the fimilitude that now
occurs to my imagination, the diſguſt
which that would occafion; although
I cannot help taking this opportu-
nity of obferving, that if we were
as delicate in actions and fenti-
ments, in the conduct of our life
and converſation, as we are in things
in the very laft degree unimportant,
vile, and trivial, this would be a pure
and happy world indeed. The de-
licacy or indelicacy of our imagin-
ation in theſe ſmall matters, OC-
cafions not a few revolutions in lan-
guage. It is really of no fmall
philological importance, and alfo
ferves in fome degree to keep up
a knowledge of dead languages.
Let
HUMAN NATURE DISPLAYED.
235
Let any one but reflect on the num-
ber of words that were laid afide as
contaminated before We came to
emetics and cathartics! Thefe, by
the way, are now familiar in chandler
fhops, and green ftalls, and muft of
courſe be exchanged for fome other
terms, perhaps in the Arabic, or
fome other language. Why! the
mifchievous delicacy of our imagin-
ation fhall wear you out a good,
grave, and faſhionable word, in lefs
than half a century. A fimilar ob-
fervation may be made on faſhionable
amufements and purfuits. The pre-
vailing fpirit of the times being ufually
carried to excefs, is tinctured, through
the affociation of ideas, with the ex-
crement of human follies and imper-
fections.
END OF THE FIRST VOLUME.
3027
W
tuls