Hubbard
imaginary
Voyages
PR
3724
.T4
K5
King, William.
Some remarks on the tale of
a tub... 1704
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
Si QUARIS PENINSULA MAMONAM
CIRCUMSPICE
1837
SCIENTIA
ARTES
VERITAS
LIBRARY
OF THE
GIFT OF
REGENT L L HUBBARD
SOME
REMARKS
Å
UPON THE
TALE of a TUB.
I N A
LETTER
1704
A:
Hubbard
Imaq vey
PR
3724
K5
SOM E
REMARKS
ON THE
Tale of a TUB.
To which are Annexed
을
​Mully of Mountown,
A N D
Orpheus and Euridice.
By the AUTHOR
OF THE
Journey to LONDON .
nescio quid meditans, uganum & soninishi.
L Ở N 2 , N :
Printed for A. Baldwin in Warwick-
lane, 1704
ومهامهم
! - اداره مر مرسی دور و بر کاربر فرم را
Imag Voy
king
ہے "
3
Rea,
Regent L. R. Hatland
H
1-10-1924
THE
PREFACE
Omebody, without the Author's
S
Knowledge, having thought
fit to Print Mully of Moun-
town; as alſo Orpheus and
Euridice, under the Title of The
Fairy Feaft, in the latter of which
above one Third of the Poem is
A 3 omitted
}
3
The Preface.
omitted. It may therefore be
thought a piece of Juſtice to the
Author, as well as the Courteous
Readers, to give them True
Copy.
1
The Publiſher is allured by the
Author, that there is no myſteri-
ous Meaning in either of them, nor
any Politicks
.
He has further in charge to tell
the
--
The Preface.
the World, from the ſame Gentle
man, That he had no Hand in
Writing the Tale of a Tub.
He happen'd one day to diſcourſe
more largely than ordinarily of that
Book, with one of his Friends,
and found the following Remarks
the next Morning laid upon his
Table.
SOME
SO ME
REMARKS
UP ON THE
TALE of a T U B.
I N A
.
LETTER
B
7
[i]
å
SO ME
REMARKS
UPON THE
TALE of a TUB
IN A
LETTER
Gravel-lane in Oldſtreet,
June 10. 1704
Honoured Sir,
T may lie in the
lie in the power of the
Meaneſt Perſon to do a Ser
vice or a Diſſervice to the Greateſt,
B 2
aco
[2]
according as his Inclination or his
Due Reſpect may lead him; which
is the trtie Occaſion of my writing
you this Letter, to ſhow you that
à Perſon in the Loweſt Circum-
stances in the World, may ſtill have
a a Concern to do Good; as I hope
ic is yours to do ſo to every body
elſe, altho I believe you know not
me ;' yet I have known you from a
Child, and am certain you cannot
forget Mr. Ceily the Chimney-Swee-
per; any more than you can your
Neighbour the Smali-coal-man
Clerkenwel, at whoſe Muſick-meeting
I have often performed a part in
your Hearing, and have ſeen you
ſeveral times at the Auction of his
Books, which were a Curioſity that
I could have wiſh'd you had been
able to have purchas'd.
at
I own
[3]
I own that I am a Perſon, as far as
my Capacity and other Circumſtances
will give me leave, deſirous of my
own. Improvement and Knowledge,
and therefore look into all Books
that may contribute towards them.
It is natural for every Perſon to look
after things in their own way, the
Fiſherman asks for the Compleat An-
gler, the Jockey for Markham, the
Pick-pocket for Duval and the Ger-
man Princeſs, the Vintner for Charl.
ton's Myſtery, the Good-woman for
Boyle's Family Receipts, the Shoe-
maker for Criſpin and Criſpianus, the
Charcoal-man for Crim the Collier of
Croyden, the Taylor for Gammer
Gurtons Needle, the Paſtry-Cook for
The Man that was choakd with Cuſtard
at Newberry, the young Heireſs for
Love Letters between a Nun and a
Cava-
.
:
4
}
...
1
[4]
Cavalier or a Nobleman and his Siſter,
and the Deſpairing Lover for the
Play of Cupid's Whirligig.
Now Sir, I muſt own, that it has
been my fortune to find very few
chat tend any way to my own Em-
ployment ; I have not been able to
meer with Tartaretus, a Book men-
tioned by Dr. Eachard, nor with fe-
veral Authors quoted by Mr. Har-
great Commonwealths-
man, in his incomparable Treatiſe
of the Metamorphoſis of A-FAX.
rington, that
But at laſt it happend that, as I
was returning from my Nightly Voca-
tion, which beginning between E-
leven and Twelve in the Evening,
generally employs me till the Dawn
of the ſucceeding Morning; and
being Melancholy that I had not
found
1
***197 +1 z Braun
pe you all the personer * terminations de presente do
Tale, than it could be upon any
[]
found ſo much Gold that Night as
I might be ſuppos'd to have done,
either by my Wife or my Neigh
bours, I ſaw a Fellow pafting up
the Title-Pages of Books at the
Corners of the Streets; and there,
among others, I ſaw one called The
Tale of a Tub; which imagining
to be a Satyr upon my Profeſſion, I
order'd one of my Myrmidons to ac
tack the Fellow, and not to box him,
but give him two or three gende
Atroaks over the Noſtrils ; till at laſt
the Fellow, being of a Ready Wit,
as having to do with all ſorts of
Authors, promiſed to go to Mr.
Nutt's for one of the Copies, and
that, if he did not canvince me
that it was a more Scandalous Lie
bel upon the Auchor of that fooliſh
one elſe, He would engage that I
ſhould
[6
ſhould ſet him aſtride upon one
of my Barrels, whenever I ſhould
meet him Publiſhing any thing
Printed for the ſame Stationer.
Sir,
Pardon me, if I fancy you may, by
what I have ſaid, gueſs at my Pro-
fefſion, but I deſire you not to
fear, for I declare to you that I af-
fect Cleanlineſs to a Nicery. I
mix my Ink with Rofe or Orange,
Flower-Water, my Scrutore is of
Cedar-Wood, my Wax is ſcented,
and my Paper lies amongſt ſweet
Bags : In ſhort, I will uſe
you
with
a chouſand times more Reſpect,
than the Bookſeller of the Tale of
a Tub does a Noble Peer under the
Prerence of a Dedication, or chan
che Author does his Readers.
2
It
:
I
[7]
It was not Five a Clock when I
had perform'd a ſevere Penance, for
I had read over a piece of Nonſenſe
inſcrib'd To bis Royal Highneſs Prince
Poſterity, where there is ſo conſi-
derable an Aim at Nothing, and
ſuch an Accompliſhment of that
Deſign, that I have not in my Li-
brary met any thing that Equals ic.
I never gave over till I had read his
Tale, his Battel, and his Fragment;
I ſhall ſpeak of the Series and Stile
of thoſe three Treatiſes hereafter.
But the firſt remarkable Scory chat I
found, was that about the twenty
ſecond Page, concerning a Fat Fel-
low crowding to ſee a Mountebank,
I expected to have found ſomething
Witry at the End, but it was all of
a piece ; ſo ſtuffed with Curſes,
Qaths and Imprecations, that the
C
moſt
[ 8 ]
moſt profligate Criminal in New-
Prifon would be atham'd to Re-
peat it.
X
*
*
*
*
I
I muft take Notice of one other
particular piece of Nonſenſe, and
no more; where he ſays, p. 44.
« Thar the Ladder is an Adequate
« Symbol of Faction, and Poetry
" of Faction, becaufe *
* Hiatus in MS.
Of Poetry, becauſe its
"Orators do Perorane with a Song.
The rrue Reaſons why I do nor de
fcend to more Particulars, is, bo-
caufe I think the three Treatiſes
(which by cheir Harmony in Dirt,
may be concluded to belong to one
Author) may be reduc'd to a very
ſmall compaſs, if the Common
Places following were but left out:
But the Awhor's forft Aim is, to be
Pro-
[9]
Prophane, but that Part I ſhall leave
to my Betters, ſince Matters of ſuch
a Nature are not to be Jefted with,
but to be Puniſh'd.
The Second is to ſhow how
great a Proficient he is, at Hectoring
and Bullying at Ranting, and Roar-
ing, and eſpecially at Curſing and
Swearing. He makes his Perſons
of all Characters full of their Oaths
and Imprecations; nay,
į nay, his very
Spider has his ſhare, and as far as in
the Author lies, he would tranſmit
his Impiety to things that are Irra-
tional.
His Third is to exceed all
Bounds of Modefty. Men who are
obligʻd by Neceſſicy to make uſe
of uncommon Exprellions, yet have
an Art of making all appear De-
cent;
C2
[10]
-
cent; but this Author, on the other
fide, endeavours to heighten the
worſt Colours, and to that End he
ſearches his Antient Authors for their
Lewdeſt Images, which he mana-
ges ſo as to make even Impudence
itſelf to bluſh at them,
His next is a great Affectation
for
every thing that is naſty, when
he ſpies any Objects that another
Perſon would avoid looking on,
that he Embraces. He takes the Air
upon Dunghils, in. Ditches, and
Common-Shores, and at my Lord
Mayors Dog-Kennel : In ſhort,
almoſt every Part has a Tincture
of ſuch Filthineſs, as renders if un-
fic for the worſt of Uſes.
By the firſt of theſe, he ſhows his
Religion ; by the ſecond, his con-
verſation
j
11 ]
verſation ; by the third, his Man-
;
and by the fourth, his Edu-
cation.
Now were the Crow, who at
preſent ſtruts ſo much in the Gutter,
ſtrip'd of theſe four ſorts of Feathers,
he would be left quite naked : He
would not have ſcarce one Story,
one Jeſt, one Alluſion, one Simile
or one Quotation. And I do al-
fure Mr. Nutt, that if he ſhould
Employ me in my own Calling,
I would bargain not to foul my
Utenſils with carrying away che
Works of this Author. Such were
my Sentiments upon reading theſe
Pieces, when knowing that
Sponge or fair Water will clean a
Book , when foul Ink and fouler
Notions have ſullied the Paper, I
jook'd upon the Fire as the pro-
pereſt
no
[ 12 ]
pereft Place for its Purgation, in
which it took no long time to
expire.
Now Sir, you may wonder
how you may be concern'd in
chis long Story, and why I ap-
ply my ſelf to you in declaring
my Sentiments of this Author ;
but I ſhall ſhew you my Reaſon
for it before I conclude this my
too Tedious Epiſtle.
Now Sir, in the Dearth of
Wit that is at preſent in the
Town, all People are apt to
catch at any thing that may af-
ford them any Diverſion, , and
what they cannot find, they make;
and ſo this Author was bought
up by all ſorts of People, and co
very one was willing to make Senfe
of
[13]
it :
of that which had none in ic Ori.
ginally. It was ſold not only at
Court, but in the City and Su-
burbs, but after ſome time it came
to have its due Value put upon
the Brewer, the Soap-boiler, the
Train-oil-man, werç all affronted
ar it; and it affordad a long dil
pute at our Coffee-houfe over the
Gate, who might be the Author.
ed
A certain Gentleman that is the
neareſt to you of any Perſon,
mencion’d, upon Suppoſition that
the Book had Wit and Learning
in it : But when I had diſplay'd
it in its proper Colours, I muſt do
the Company chat Juſtice, that there
was not" onc but acquitted you.
That Matter being diſpatch'd, eve-
ry one was at their Liberty of guef-
fing;
was
F
[ 14 ]
fing; One faid, he believ'd it was
a Journey-man-Taylor in Billeter-
lane, that was an Idle ſort of a Fel-
low, and lov'd Writing more than
Stitching, that was the Author; his
Reaſon was, becauſe here he is ſo
deſirous to mention his Gooſe and
his Garrer : But it was anſwered,
that he was a Member of the. So.
ciety, and ſo he was excus’d. But
why then ſays another, ſince he
makes ſuch a Parable upon Coats,
may he not be. Mr. Amy the
Coat-ſeller, who is a Poet and a
Wit; to which it was reply'd,
That chat Gentleman's Lofs had
been bewailed in an Elegy fome
years ago. Why may not it be
Mr. Gumly the Rag-womans Huf-
band in Turnball-ftreet , ſays ano-
ther; ihe is kept by her, and having
little to do, and having been an
Officer
I
[ 15 ]
3
Officer in Monmouth's Army, ſinc
the Defeat 25 Sedgemore has al-
ways been a Violent Tory. But
it was urg'd, that his Stile was
harſh, rough and unpoliſh’d, and
that he did not underſtand one
Word of Latin. Why then, cries
another, Oliver's Porter had an
Amanuenſis at Bedlam, that it'd
to tranſcribe what he dictated
and may not theſe be ſome ſcat-
ter'd Notes of his Maſter's ? To
which all reply'd, that though Oli-
ver's Porter was Craz’d, yet his
Misfortune never let him forget
that he was a Chriſtian.
One
ſaid, it was a Surgeon's Man that
had married a Midwife's Nurſe ;
but though by the Stile it mighe
ſeem probable that two ſuch Perſons
had a Hand in it, yet ſince he
could not name the Perſons, his
D
Fancy
[ 16 ]
------When
Fancy was rejected. I conjecture,
ſays another, that it may be a
Lawyer, that
-When on a ſud-
den he was interrupted by Mr.
Markland the Scrivener, No, rather
by the Oaths, it İhould be an Iriſh
Evidence. At laſt there ſtood up
a ſprant Young Man that is se-
cretary to our Scavenger, and cries,
What if after all it ſhould be a
Parſon; for who may make more
free with their Trade ? What if
I know him deſcribe him, name
him, and how he and his Friends
talk of it, admire it, are proud
of it. Hold, cry all the Compa-
ny, that Function muſt not be
mention’d without Reſpect, we
have enough of the Dirty Subject,
we had better Drink our Coffee,
and Talk our Politicks.
I
[ 17 ]
I doubt not Sir, but you wiſh
the Diſcourſe had broke off foon-
er. Pardon it, for it means well
to you, however expreſt, for I am
to my utmoſt,
?
D 2
Mully
(
M U L L Y
OF
MOUNTOWN.
A
POEM.
{
:
年
​[ 21 ]
MULLY
OF
MOUNTOW N.
А
POEM
Mº
OUNTOWN! Thou ſweet Retreat from
Dublin Cares,
Be famous for thy Apples and thy Pears;
From
4
[ 32 ]
For Turnips, Carrots, Lettuce, Beans and Peaſe;
For Peggy's Butter, and for Peggy's Cheefe.
May Clouds of Pigeons round about thee fly,
But condeſcend ſometimes to make a Pye.
May fal Geefe gaggle with melodious Voice,
And ne'er want Gooſeberries or Apple-ſauce :
Ducks in thy Ponds, and Chickens in thy Pens,
And be the Turkeys Numerous as thy Hens :
May thy black Pigs lie warm in little Stye,
And have no Thought to grieve them till they
dye.
Mountain ! The Muſes mo delicious Thean
Oh! may thy Codlins ever ſwim iu Cream :
Thy Rafpe- and Straw.berries in Bourdeaux
drown
To add a reader Tincture to their own :
Thy White-Wine, Sugar, Milk, together chube
To make that gentle Viand Syllabub.
Thy'
[ 231
Thy Tarts to Tarts, Cheefe takes to Cheeſe-cakes
join
To ſpoil the Relich of the flowing Wine.
But to the fading Palate bring Relief
By thy Wét.phalian Ham, or Belgick Beef;
And to compleat thy Bleſſings, in a word,
May ſtill thy Soil be Generous as its Lord.
I I.
Oh Peggy, Peggy, when thou go'ſt to Brew,
Conſider well what you're about to do ;
Be
very Wiſe, very ſedately think
That what you are about to make is Drink":
Conſider who muſt drink that Drink, and then,
What 'tis to have the Praiſe of Honel Men :
For ſurely Peggy, while that Drink does laſty,
?Iis Peggy will be Toafted or Diſgrac'd.
*D
Then
[ 24 ]
Thça if thy Ale in Glaſs thou wouldīt confine,
To make its ſparkling Rays in Beauty ſhine,
Let thy clean Bottle be entirely dry,
Leaſt a white Subſtance to the Surface fly,
And floating there, diſturb the curious Eye.
But this great Maxim muſt be underſtood, ,
Be ſure ; inay very ſure, thy Cork be Good.
Then future Ages ſhall of Peggy tell,
That Nymph that Břew'd and Bottled Ale ſo
well.
.
I'II.
How fleet is Air ! How many Things have
Breath
Which in a Moment, they relign to Death;
Depriv'd of Ligbt, and all their happieſt State
Not by their Fault, but ſome o'er-ruling Fate
Alth
हैं
[ 25 ]
Altho' fair Flowers, that juftly might invite,
Are Cropt, nay torn away fór Man's Delight';
Yet ftill thoſe Flowers, Alas I can make no
Moan,
Nor has Narciſſus now a Power to Groan.
But all thoſe things which breath in different
Frame,
By tye of common Breaths, Man's Pity claim.
A Gentle Lamb has Rhetorick to plead,
And when ſhe ſees the Butcher's Knife decree'd
Her Voice intreats him not to make her Bleed;
But Cruel Gairs and Luxury of Taſte,
With Pride, ſtill lays Man's Fellory-Mortals
waſte :
What Earth and Waters breed, or Air inſpires,
Man for his Palate fits by Torturing Firës.
Fires
MELT a Cow fprung from 1-Beauteous Race
With ſpreading Front, did Mourtowns Paſtures
grace.
*D?
Gente
1
[ 26 ]
Gentle ſhe was, and with a gentle Stream,
Each Morn and Night gave Milk that equald
Cream,
Offending None, of None ſhe ſtood in Dread,
Much leſs of Perſons which ſhe daily Fed :
But Innocence cannot it ſelf Defend
Gainſt treacherous Arts, veild with the Name of
Friend.
1
* ROBIN of Darby-fhire, whoſe Temper fhocks
The Conſtitution of his Native Rocks,
Born in a f Place, which if it once be nam'd
Wou'd make a bluſhing Modefty alham'd :
He with Indulgence kindly did appear
To make poor Mully his peculiar Care,
But inwardly this ſullen Churliſh Thief
Had all his Mind plac'd upon Mully's Beef;
His Fancy fed on her, and thus hee'd Cry
Mully as ſure as I'm Alive you Dye;
* The Devil's Atfe of Peak.
der
'Tis
1
[ 27 ]
*
'Tis a brave Cow, O Sirs when Chriſtmas comes,
Thefe Sbins ſhall make the Porridge grac'd with
Plumbs,
Then midſt our Cups, whilft we profuſely Ding
This Blade ſhall enter deep in Mully's Chine ,
What Ribs, what Rumps, what Bak'd, Boil do
Stew'd and Roaft ?
There ihan't one ſingle Tripe of her be loft.
When Peggy, Nymph of Mountown, heard theſe
ſounds,
She Griev'd to hear of Mülly's future Wounds,
What Crime, ſays ſhe, has gentle Mully donc ?
Witneſs the Riſing and the Setting Sun,
That knows what Milk ſhe conſtantly would
give,
Ler that Quench Robin's Rage, and Mully Live
Daniel
[ 28 ]
Daniel a ſprightly Swain that uſed to flaſh
The Vigorous Steeds that drew his Lord's Calaſh
To Peggy's Side inclin’d, for 'twas well known
How well he lov'd thoſe Cattel of his own.
2
Then Terence ſpoke, Oraculous and fly,
He'd neither grant the Queſtion or deny ;
Pleading for. Milk, his Thoughts were an
Mince-Pye;
But all his Arguments ſo dubious were
That Mully thence had neither Hopes nor Fear,
You've ſpoke, ſays Robin, but now let me tell
ye
'Tis not fair ſpoken Words that fill the Belly :
Pudding and Beef I Love and cannot ſtoop
To recommend your Bonny Clapper Soop;
You
+
7
[ 29 ]
You ſay ſhe's Innocent, but what of that,
'Tis more than Crime ſufficient that ſhe's Far,
And that which is prevailing in this Caſe
Is, there's another Cow to fill her place.
And granting Mully to have Milk in ſtore
Yet ſtill this other Cow will give us more
She Dies------ ſtop here my Muſe, forbcar the reſt,
And veil that Grief which cannot be expreft.
Orpheus
:3
ORPHEU'S
AND
E U RIDIC E.
A
POEM.
E
[ 33 ]
ORPHEUS
A N D
EURIDICE
POEM
2
AS
S Poets fay, 090 Orpheus went
To Hold upon sbroddi latente
Firſt, tell the story, thoa let's knew,
If any age will do fórdowo
E 2
This
:
[ 34 ]
This- Orpheus was a folly Boy, kisht
Born long before the Siege of Troy ;
His Parents found the Lad was ſharp,
And Taught him on the Iriſh Harp ;
And when grown fit for Marriage Life,
Gave him Euridice to Wife,
And they, as ſoon as Match was made,
Set up the Ballad-linging Trade.
The Cunning Varlet cou'd Devices
For Country Folks ten thouſand Lies,
Affirming all thoſe monſtrous Things
Were done by Force of Harp and Strings ;
Could make a Tyger in a trice
Tame as a Cat, and catch your Mice ;
Cou'd make a Lyon's Courage flag,
And ſtraight cou'd Animate a Stag,
And
[ 35 ]
And by the help of pleafing Ditties,
Make Mill-ftones run, and build up Cities ;
Each had the uſe of fluent Tongue,
If Dice ſcolded, Orpheus ſung.
And ſo by Diſcord without Strife,
Compos’d one Harmony of Life;
And thus, as all their Matters ſtood,
They got an Honeſt Livelihood :
Happy were Mortals could they be
From any ſudden Danger free
Happy were Poets could their Song,
The feeble Thread of Life prolong...!
But
[ 36 ]
But as thefe two went Arouling on,
Poor Dice's Scene of Life was done;
Away her fleeting Breath muſt fly,
Yet no one knows wherefore, or why ;
:
This caus'd the general Lamentation,
To all that knew her in her Station;
How brisk ſhe was ſtill to advance,
The Harper's gain, and lead the Daoce,
In every Tune obſerve her Trill,
Sing on; yet change the Money ftill.
Orpheus beſt knew what Loſs he had,
And thinking on’t fell almoſt mad,
And in deſpair to. Linus ran,
Who was eſteem'd a Cunning-Man;
Cryd
.
[ 37 ]
'Cry'd, he again muſt Dice have,
Or elſe be buried in her Grave;
:
6
6
G
Quo' Linus, 'Soft, refrain your Sorrow,
What fails to Day may ſpeed to Morrow :
Thank you the Gods for what'ere happens,
But don't fall out with your fat Capons,
Tis many an honeſt Man's Petition,
That he may be in your Condition;
If ſuch a Bleſſing might be had,
To change a Living Wife for Dead,
'Id be your Chapman, nay, I'd do't, i
Tho' I gave Forty Pounds to boot.
Conſider firſt, you ſave her Diet,
Conſider next you keep her quiet ;
For, Pray what was the all along,
Except the burthen of your Song ?
What
C
[:38 ]
'What, tho' your Dice's under Ground,
• Yet maný a Woman may be found,
. Who in your Gains if the may partake,
• Truſt me, will quickly make your heart-ake:
' Then reſt Content, as Widdow'rs ſho'ud
The Gods beſt know what's for our good.
Orpheus no longer cou'd endure
Such Wounds where he expected Cure.
Is't poſſible, cry'd be, and can,
That Noble Creature, Marry d Man,
• In ſuch a Cauſe be ſo profane ;
' I'le fly thee far as I would Death,
Who from my Dice took her Breath.
<
Which
*.
[ 39 ]
Which ſaid, he ſoon out-ſtript the Wind,
Whilft puffing Boreas lagg'd behind,
And to Urganda's Cave he came,
A Lady of prodigious Fame,
Whoſe hollow Eyes, and hopper Breech,
Made Common People call her Witch
;
Down at her Feet he proſtrarelyes,
With Trembling Heart, and blubber'd Eyes
<
6
Tell me, ſaid he, for ſure, you know
The Powers above, and thoſe below.
Where does Euridice remain ?
How ſhall I fetch her back again?
6
F
She
[ 40 ]
6
Y
She ſmilingly reply'd, "I'll teļi
This eaſily without a Spell;
The Wife you look for's gone to Hell.
Nay, neyer ſtart, Man, for 'tis fo;
Except one ill-bred Wife, or two,
The faſhion is for all to go.
* Not that he will be Damn’d ne'er fear,
&
But ſhe may get Preferment there:
Indecd, ſhe might be fryd in Pitch,
• If ſhe had been a bitter Bitch;
! If ſhe had lcap d a-thwart a Sword,
And afterwards had broke her Word,
& But you: Euridice, poor Soul,
Was a good natur'd harmleſs Fool
;
Except a little Carrerwawling,
Was always painful in lzer Calling ;
AC
[ 41 ]
6
G
And I dare truſt Old Pluto fort,
"She will find Favour in his Court:
But then to fetch her back, that ſtill
Remains, and may be paſt my Skillz
For 'tis too fad a thing to jeſt on,
You're the firſt Man e'er ask'd the Queſtions
For Husbands are ſuch ſelfiſh Elves,
• They care for little but themſelves.
And then one Rogue cries to another,
Since this Wife's gone, e'en get another:
Tho moſt Men les fuch Thoughts alone,
And ſwear they've had enough of one
But ſince you are ſo kind-to Diee,
· Follow the Courſe which I adviſe ye ;
E’en go to Hell your ſelf and try,
Th' Effects of Mufick's Harmony:
For you will hardly find a Friends
Whom you in fuch a Cafe might ſend i
Beſides
6
6
[ 42
Beſides there Proſerpine has been,
The briskeft Dancer on the Green,
* Before Old Pluto Ravilh'd her,
6 Took her to Hell, and you may ſwear
She had but little Muſick there;
For ſince the laſt beheld the Sun,
Her merry Dancing-days are done ;
But ſhe has a Colt's Tooth ſtill, I warrant,
And will not diſapprove your Errant;
• Then your Requeſt does Reaſon ſeem,
For what's one ſingle Ghoſt to them?
Tho thouſand Phantoms ſhou'd invade ye,
• Paſs on, faint Heart ne'er won fair Lady ;
+ The Bold, a Way will find, or make,
Remember, 'tis for Dice's ſake.
Nothing
[ 43 ]
As News that he muſt go to Hetl.
Nothing pleasd Orphew half ſo wen,
Th' impatient Wight long'd to be gong,
As moft Folk ſeek their own Undoing;
Ne'er thought of what he left behind,
Never confider'd he thould find,
Scarce any Paſſengers befide
Himfelf, nor cou'd he hire a Guide.
Will Mufick do't, cry'd he, ne'er heed,
My Harp fhalt make the Marble bleed
• My Harp all Dangers fhall remove,
And dare all Flames, but thoſe of Love.
Theg
[ 44 ]
Then kneeling begs, in Terms moſt Civil,
Urganda's Paſport to the Devil ;
Her Paſs the kindly to him gave,
Then bid him 'noint himſelf with Salve
Such as thoſe hardy People uſe,
Who walk on Fire without their. Shoes;
Who on Occaſion, in a dark Hole,
Can Gormondize on lighted Charcoal ;
And drink eight Quarts of Aaming Fuely :
As Men in Flux, do Water-Grucl.
She bid him then go to thoſe Caves, ise
Where Conjurers keep Fairy Slaves;
Such fort of Creatures as will baſte yogitai
A Kitchen-Wench for being nafty:
But if ſhe neatly fcoure her Pewter,
Give her the Money that is due t'her.
*
Orpheus
[45]
:
Orpheus went down a narrow Hole,
That was as dark as any Coal;
He did at length ſome glim’ring ſpy,
By which, at leaſt, he might diſcry
Ten thouſand little Fairy Elves,
Who there were ſolacing themſelves,
All ran about him, cry'd, Oh dear,
Who thought to have ſeen Orpheus. here,
• 'Tis that Queen's Birth-day which you ſee, ,
And you are come as luckily:
You had no Ballad, but we bought it,
• Paid Dice when ſhe little thought it;
- When you beneath the Yew Tree fat,
• We've come, and all danc'd round your Hat
· But where abouts did Dice leave ye?
She had been welcome, Sir, believe me.
Theſe
;
[ 46 ]
Theſe linle Chits wou'd make one ſwear,
Quoth Orpheus, 'twixt Diſdain and Fear;
And dare theſe Urchins jeer my Croſſes,
And laugh at mine, and Dice's Lofics,
Hands off; the Monkeys hold thc faſter;
Sirrah's, I am going to your Mafter.
Good Words, quoth Oberon, don't flinch,
For ev'ry time you ſtir, I'll pinch;
But if you decently fit down,
I'll firſt equip you with a Crown;
Then for each Dance, and for each Song,
Our Pence a piece the whole Night long.
Orpheus, who found no Remedy,
Made Virtue of Neceſſity,
Tho'all was out of Tune, their Dance
Would only hinder his Advance.
Each
[ 471
Each Note that from his Fingers fell,
Seem'd to be Dice's Paſſing-Bell
.
At laſt Night let him ccafe his Crupper,
Get on his Legs, to go to Supper.
Quo'Nabwe here have Strangers ſeldom,
But, Sir, to what we have you't welcom.
Madam, they feem of light Digeſtion,
Is it not rude to ask a Queſtion ?
What they may be, Fith, Flella ot Fruit?
For I ne'er faw things fo Minute
3
SIR,
A roaſted Ant that's nicely done,
By one ſmall Atom of the Sun.
Theſe are flies Eggs in Moon-line poach'd,
This a Flea's Thigh in Coltops ſcotchd,
G
'Twas
[ 48 ]
'Twas hunted Yeſterday i' th' Park,
And like t' have ſcap'd us in the dark.
This is a Difh entirely new,
Butterflies Brains diſſolv'd in Dew;
Theſe Lovers Vows, theſe Courtiers Hopes,
Things to be Eat by Microſcopes :
Theſe fucking Mites, a Glow-worm's Heart,
This a delicious Rainbow-Tart.
:
Madam, I find, they're very nice,
And will digeſt within a trice;
I ſee there's nothing you efteem,
That's half ſo groſs as our Whipt-Cream.
And I infer from all theſe Meats,
That ſuch light Suppers keep clean Sheets,
But Sir, ſaid the, perhaps you're dry;
Then ſpeaking to a Fairy-by,
You've
[ 49 ]
You've taken care, my dear Endia,
All's ready for my Ratifia.
SIR,
A drop of Water newly torn
Freſh from the Roſie Finger'd Morn.
A Pearl of Milk that's gently preſt
From blooming Hebe's early Breaſt;
With half a one of Cupid's Tears,
When he in Embrio firſt appears ;
And Honey from an Infant Bee
Makes Liquor for the Gods and Me.
Madam, ſays he, ant pleaſe your Grace,
I'm going to a Droughty place;
And if I an't too bold, pray charge her,
The Draught I have be ſomewhat larger.
G2
Fetch
[50]
Fetch me, ſaid the, a mighty Bowl,
Like Oberon's capacious Soul,
And then fill up the burniſht Gold
With juice that makes the Britains bold.
This from ſeven Barley Corns I drew,
It's Years are feven, and to the view
It's clear, and ſparkles fit for your
1
1
1
But ſtay,
When I by Fate was last time hurdy
To act my Pranks in t'other World,
I ſaw ſome Sparks as they were Drinking,
With mighty Mirth, and little thinking
Their Jeſts were Supernaculum,
I fnacht the Rubies from cach Thumb,
And in this Cryſtal have 'em here,
Perhaps you'll like it more than Beer.
Wine
[51]
Wist and late Hours diffolu'd the Fault,
And Men and Faries went to rect.
The Bcd where Orpheus was to lice
Was all ſtuffd full of Harmony;
Purling of Streams and Amorous Rills,
Dying Sounds that never kills:
Zephyru breathing, Love delighting,
Joy to Slumber foft Inviting :
Trembling Sounds that make no Noiſe,
And Songs to plaafe without a Voice:
Were mixt with Down that fell from Jourt,
When he became a Swan for Love.
'Twas
[ 32 ]
'Twas Night, and Nature's ſelf lay dead,
Nodding upon a Feather-bed;
The Mountains ſecm'd to bend their Tops,
And Shutters clos'd the Millners Shops,
Excluded both the Punks and Fops.
No ruffl'd Streams to Mill did come,
The filent Fich were still more dumb
Look in the Chimney, not a ſpark there,
And Darkneſs did it ſelf grow darker.
;
But Orpheus could not ſleep a wink,
He had too many things to think :
But in the dark, his Harp he Strung,
And to the Liſtening Fairies Sung.
Prince
[ 53
]
Prince Prim, who pity'd ſo much Youth
Join'd with ſuch Conſtancy and Truth,
Soon gave him thus to underſtand ;
Sir, I laſt night receiv'd Command
To ſee you out of Fairy Land,
Into the Realm of Nofrotbocai ;
But let not Fear or Sulphur choak ye;
For he's a Fiend of Senſe and Wit,
And has got many Rooms to lett.
7
As quick as Thought, by Glow-worm
glympſe,
Out walk the Fidler and the Prince.
They ſoon arrive ; find Bocai brewing
Of Claret for a Vintner's ſtewing.
I come
.
(54)
doond from Dberent, quoth Price Prim.
'Tis well, quoch Borain what from him?
Why Comething Arange this Honeft)
Man
Had his Wife dy'd, now, if he cup,
He ſayo daeld have her back again,
Then Bereid failing. cryd. D'ye face
Orpheus, you'd better ſtay with me.
fet, let sto tell you, in this placa,
Altho it has an ugly Face,
When to its Nabae 't thalt bofol,
Is wokhia dioetind Tup of Gold
And very emowi di Story,
Calld by the Name of Purgatory.
For
15
1
[
55 ]
cine
For when ſome Ages ſhall have run,
And Truth by Fallhood be undone,
Shall riſe the Whore of Babylon.
And this ſame Whore ſhall be a Man,
Who'by his Lies and Cheating can
Be ſuch a Trader in all Evil,
As to outdo our Friend the Devil:
He and his Pimps ſhall ſay, that when
A Man is dying, thither then,
The Devil comes to take the Soul,
And carry him down to this Hole ;
But if a Man have ſtore of Wealth,
To get ſome Prayers for his Soul's Health,
The Devil has then no more to do,
But muſt be forc'd to let him go;
But we are no more Fools than they
Thus to be bubbld of our Prey.
T
H
Ву
::
[36]
1
By theſe lame Pious Frauds and Lies,
Shall many Miniſteries riſe.
Fryars ſhall get good Meat and Beer,
To pray Folks out that ne'er came here ;
Pans, Pots and Kettles, ſhall be given,
To fetch a Man from hence to Heaven.
Suppoſe a Man has taken Purſes,
Or ſtolen Sheep, or Cows, or Horſes,
And chances to be Hang’d, you'd cry,
Let him be Hang’d, and ſogood by,
Hold, ſays the Fryar, let me alone,
He's but to Purgatory gone;
And if you'll let our Convent keep
Thoſe Purſes, Cows, Horſes and Sheep;
The Fellow ſhall find no more Pain,
Than if he were alive again.
Here
£ 57
Here Orpheus ſighd, began to take on,
Cy'd, cou'd I find the Whore you
ſpeak on,
I'd give him my beſt Flitch of Bacon :
I'd give him Cake and Sugar'd Sack;
If he would bring my Dice back.
Rather than the ſhould longer ſtay,
i'd find ſome luſty Mán to pray.
And then poor Diće, let him try her,
I dare ſay would requite the Friar,
Great Noſnot bocai ſmild to ſee
Such Goodneſs arid Simriplicity.
Then kindly lead them to a Celly
An outward Granary of Hell }
H
Hi
[58
A filthy place that's ſeldom ſwept,
Where Seeds of Villany are kept.
1
Orpheus, ſaid he, I'd have
you
take
Some of theſe Seeds here, for my fake;
Which, if they are diſcreetly hurld
Throughout the parts of t'other World,
They may oblige the Fiend you ſue to,
And fill the Palace of Old Pluto.
}
:::
Sow Pride Seed uppermoſt, and then a-
bove
Envy and Scandal plant Self-Love.
Here, take Revenge, and Malice without
Cauſe,
And here Contempt of Honeſty and Laws;
This
.
[ $9]
This hot Seed's Anger, and this hotter
Luft,
Beſt Sown with breach of Friendſhip, and
of Truſt :
Theſe Storm, Hail, Plague and Tempeſt
Seeds,
And this a Quinteſſence of Weeds.
This the worſt ſort of Artichoke,
A Plant that Pluto has himſelf beſpoke;
Nouriſh it well, 'tis uſeful Treachery:
This is a Choice, though Tittle Seed, a
Lye:
Here take ſome now from theſe prodigious
Loads,
Oftender things that look like Toads.
In future Times, theſe finely dreſt
,
Shall Each invade a Prince's Breft ;
Tis
[ 60 ]
}
'Tis Flattery Seed, tho thinly Sown,
It is a mighty Plant when grown,
When Rooted deep, and fully Blowă;
Now ſee theſe things like Bubbles fly,
Theſe are the Seeds of Vanity.
Take Tyrant Acorns which will beſt Ad-
vance, ,
If Sown in Eaſtern Climates, or in France;
But theſe are things of moſt Prodigious
Hopes,
They're Jeſuit Bulbs ty'd up with Ropes,
And theſe the Devil's Grafts for future
Popes,
Which with Fanaticiſm are join'd ſo clean,
You'd ſcarce believe a Knife had paſt bea
i
tween :
Falle
[61]
Falſe Witneſs Seed had almoſt been for.
got,
'T may be your making, ſhould there be a
Plot:
And now dear Orpheus, ſcatter theſe but
well,
And you'll deſerve the Gratitude of Hell.
Quoth Orpheus, you ſhall be obey'd,
In every thing that you have ſaid,
For Miſchief is the Poets Trade,
And whatſoever they ſhall bring,
You may aſſure your
But pray what Poets ſhall we have,
At my returning from the Grave?
ſelf I'll fing;
Sad
[ 62 ]
Sad Dogs! Quoth Bocai, --- let me ſee---
But Gnce what I ſay, cannot (hame 'em,
I'll e'en reſolve to never name 'em.
But now, ſays Bocai, Sir, you may
Long to be going on your Way,
Unleſs you'll drink ſome Arſenick Claret,
Tis Burnt you ſee, but Sam çan ſpare it.
Orpheus reply'd, Kind. Şir, 'țis neither
Brandy nor Whets that brought me hither ;
But Love, and I an Inſtance can be,
Love is as hot as Pepper'd Brandy;
Yet, Gentle Şir, you may command
A Tune from a departing Hand;
:
The
1
[ 63 ]
The Stile and Paſſion both are good,
Tis the Three Children in the Wood :
He Sung , and Pains themſelves found
Eaſe,
For Griefs, when well expreſt can pleaſe ;
When he deſcrib'd the Childrens Loſs,
And how the Robbins cover'd them with
?
Moſs ;
To hear the Pity of thoſe Birds,
E'en Bocai's Tears fell down with Orpheus
Words.
&c
.
FINI S.
L
BOOKS, Written by the ſame
Author.
Journey to London, in the Year 1698.
after the Ingenious Method of Dr.
Martin Lyſter to Paris, in the ſame Year, c.
8vo,
A
Dialogues of the Dead, 8vo.
in 3
The Farmetary ; & very Innocent and
Harmleſs Poem, in Canto's; occaſion'd
by the Publication of a Poem, called the
Diſpenſary.
Animadverſions on a Pretended Account
of Denmark.
By
By Another Hand,
A Journey to England, with ſome Ac
count of the Manners and Cuſtoms of that
Nation.
Elop at Court, or State Fables, Vol. 1.
All Sold by A. Baldwin in Warwick Lake.
The End of the Catalogue.
i