Jot
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Thones
THOMPSON (Joe) Life and Adve of, a
Narrative founded on fact. With porla: '3 of
the Author and of Miss Louisa Rich, 2 vols, 12010,
bound, Lond., 1775
10s
tuttriotala of_intrigue and adventure
.
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UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
1817
ARTES
SCIENTIA
VERITAS
LIBRARY
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Kimber, Edward
'T HE
L 1. F E
A N D
ADVENTURES
OF
Joe Thompſon,
A Narrative founded on Fact.
Written by Himſelf.
To wake the Soul, by tender Strokes of Art ;
To raiſe the Genius, and to mend the Heart ;
To make Mankind in conſcious Virtue bold,
Live o'er each Scene, and be what they behold:
For this
Pope.
V OL.
1.
A New EDITION.
LONDON:
Printed for JOHN HINTON, at the King's-Arms,
in Pater-nofter Row; and W. FREDERICK, Book-
ſeller, in Bath. M DCC LXXV.
English
Trkere
9-43.39
39126
2u.
[ in ]
3
THE
EDITOR'S PREFACE.
Q19 FLV
IT
T may, perhaps, be expected, by the
Reader, that ſome Account ſhould be
prefixed to this Work, more than he
will find in the Work itſelf, of the Motives
for publiſhing it; and ſuch other Matters as
Cuſtom has made the Subject of a Preface;
and, in order to comply with the natural Cu-
rioſity of this Country, which is ſtill explor-
ing farther and farther into the Reaſons of
I hings, and is hardly ever to be ſatisfied,
till it has ſifted an Affair to the very Bottom,
I am going to acquaint him, that, tho' Mr.
Thompſon has been ſume Years in England,
the eager Deſire, his numerous Friends and
Acquaintance ſtill expreſſed to hear him re-
late his Adventures, grew quite troubleſome
to him ; and, in his own Defence, he yielded
to my preſſing Sollicitations to digeſt the
various and uncommon Accidents that have
chequered his Life, into a Narrative that
ſhould at once eaſe him of that Trouble of
anſwering ſuch Numbers of Queſtions, as
were every Day put to him; and at the
fame Time I made Uſe of the aforeſaid Rea-
fon
A 2
iv
The EDITOR'S
w.com
ſon to induce him to write, I urged the
Benefit it might be of to Mankind, to behold
a Picture of human Nature, as it really is,
ſtruggling amidſt the War of the Paſſions,
that inſpire the Breaſt, and, at length, thro'
a Series of Temptations, getting the better
of Vice, and adding to the Triumphs of Vir-
lue and the Virtuous. Indeed, he began
upon this Diſcourſe, to think it his Duty to
publiſh his Adventures, for which he has
well given his other Reaſons in the Begin.
ning of his Hiſtory. Was my Author known
as much to the Public in general, as he is by
his particular Friends, the Veracity of all he
has related of himſelf would never fall into
Doubt. Perhaps the Kingdom cannot boaſt
a Man of more Worth, or more Honour ;
and he lives a Bleſſing to the World, and the
Joy and Comfort of his Relations and Friends:
But need l enlarge on his Character here,
when he has ſo well portrayed himſelf in the
Book before me, and has given us a tho-
rough Repreſentation of an honeſt, upright
Heart? I know his Father, and have the
greateſt Veneration for the Son, who is a
Gentleman of excellent Endowments; and
has joined, to a finiſhed Education, all the
Experience that falls to a Man's Lot, who
has feen the World, and inſpected its Prin-
ciples of Action on ſo many various Occa-
fions. I promiſed him to reviſe and pub-
lish
PRE FACE.
V
liſh his Performance ; and he in Gifted I ſhould
model it as I thought proper ; but, I muſt
own, I found it far ſuperior to Correction,
and exceeding all my moſt fanguine Ex-
pectations; and I ventured only upon two
Alterations : He had wrote it as one con-
tinued Narrative; but for the Reader's
greater Pleaſure, and the Benefit of his Memo-
ry, I have divided it into Chapters, and add.
ed Contents to each ; which I think, tho' a
modern Way, is a Manner that is uſeful and
pleaſing; and, as a celebrated Author ſays, is
like erecting ſo many Baiting places, or Inns,
for the Traveller's Refreſhment in his Peregri.
nations thro' our Work. The other Liberty I
took was this, that tho’he had made uſe of real
Names, I, knowing moſt of the Perſons men-
tioned, thought it was not ſo eligible to ſuffer
it to come Abroad in that Manner, and have
changed many of the moſt remarkable, or
beſt known Names, into fictitious ones, that
are as expreſſive, as any I could pitch upon,
of the Characters of the Perſons they repre-
fent; and I have uſed the ſame Freedom with
the Names of Places in England, willing, as
much as poſſible, to prevent any bad Ef-
fects that might ariſe from the Openneſs and
Sincerity of my Author ; and I have had the
Pleaſure to receive a Letter of Thanks from
him for my prudent Caution. Names ſig-
nify nothing, they are Facts that my Reader
requires;
A 3
vi
The EDITOR'S
requires ; and the Reflections that naturally
arife from certain Combinations of Acci-
dents of good and bad Fortune ; by which
Inſtruction and Improvement is conveyed to
the Mind. And now I am naturally led to
ſay ſomewhat of the Conſtruction and Mo.
ral of the Piece before me. The Life and
Adventures of Joe Thompſon is a Delineation
of the Condition of unhappy Mortals, who
are ſubject to Misfortune, and the Affaults of
Vice; and, to attain any deſirable End, muſt
wade throa Sea of Troubles from without,
and of Struggles and Combats from within ;
and my Author, not content with relating
Things ſimply, has deduced them from
firſt
. Principles; and has endeavoured to
make it appear, that Man is not born with
any natural Turpitude inherent in him ;
and that it requires a long Habit of Vice
and bad Company intirely to root out thoſe
Ideas of Religion and Virtue he is ſupplied
wiih by Nature, and a good and careful
Education ; nor, that once done, can an
ingenuous Mind thus, for ever, be debaſed,
but will riſe again from the Rubbiſh that
furrounds it on every Side, again become
found and reaſonable. The ſeveral Epiſodes
that are interſperſed, here and there, as the
Adventures of Mrs. Goodwill, Mr. Prim, Mr.
Saris, &c. have all of them fo viſible a good
Tendency, that the Moral need not be point-.
ed
PREF A C E. vii
ed out; and the whole Work may be ſaid
to exhibit the Triumphs of Virtue, all be-
nign, ſerene, and amiable; and the Defeats
of Vice baneful, obnoxious, and ruinous, to
Mankind both in Soul and Body. I muſt
look upon my Author a little in another
Light alſo, with Regard to the Reflections,
Maxims and inſtructive Leſſons, ſcattered
thro' every Page of his Adventures. And
here I muítown his Manner and Spirit charms
me; and gives me ſo high an Opinion of
his Sagacity and Good Senſe, that, tho' I
ever had the greateſt Affection for him, yet
methinks, whenever I read thoſe Breathings,
let me call them, of a generous and noble
Soul, my Affection is heightened, to a pro-
digious Degree, more than ever ; and I be-
lieve our Reader will admit with me, that
they make the Work a Syſtem of Ethics and
Moralily, as much as it is an Hiſtory, or Se-
ries of Adventures.
The French, who are noted for their nu-
merous Lives and Memoirs, have introduced
the moſt trifling and jejune Circumſtances,
that happen to a Man, therein, by which they
have made that kind of Writing the Subject
of Ridicule and Satire ; but, ſure, if, with
proper Dignity and Decorum, the Tranſac-
tions of a buſy Life are given to the World,
it may be ſaid to become as uſeful, or more
ſo than the moſt ſhining Examples exhibited
>
A A
in
vui The EDITOR'S
in Perſon, as it makes a greater Impreſſion
upon the Heart, and ſinks more deeply into
the Mind: And I muſt ſay this for our Coun-
trymen, that they have given the World
Works of this Nature, that far ſurpaſs the
Productions of our Neighbours; and have in
them all the eaſy Flow and Politeneſs of the
French, together with the nervous Strength
and Fire of the Engliſh. And I believe it
will be admitted, without Diſpute, that this
brave Nation diſplay, in their Hiſtories and
Biography, a Manner and Sentiment peculiar
to a free People, which can never be imi-
tated by the Slaves of deſpotic Governments.
The Language of my Author is beautiful
and applicable to the Subject he treats of;
common Events are related in familiar Words,
but, when it is required, no one can riſe into
more apt and proper Strains, and in thoſe
you diſcover the Man, and the genuine Caſt
and Diſpoſition of his Soul. You have no
uncouth and unnatural Flights of the falſe
Sublime; no diſtorted Images are intro.
duced ; nor is the Fancy bewildered with
far fetched Figures and crude Ideas, which
never exiſted any where but in the Brain of
the Writer. The whole Production is one
even champaign Country, and the verdant
Hills and leafy Thickets, that are here and
there interſperſed, are ſo many Beauties that
add to the delightful Proſpect of the fruitful
Plain,
PRE FACE. ix
4
Plain, without tiring or ſickening the Sight.
The very Subject of Love is treated of with
a Delicacy that muſt pleaſe and charm; and,
tho' all the Juſtice due to the delightful Sex
is done them, yet, in the moſt warm and pal-
ſionate Flights, nothing is ſaid or implied that
can ſhock the niceſt Ear, or kindle a Bluſh
even in the Face of Innocence herſelf.
In a Word, I look upon it as a Book of
the utmoſt Merit, and, I will ſay, Import-
ance, particularly to the Youth of both Sexes,
as inculcating juſt Notions of Things, wiping
the Prejudices of Education from the Mind,
inſpiring generous and worthy Sentiments,
encouraging Benevolence, Love to Mankind,
and all the focial Virtues and Duties that
ought to reſide in the Boſom of rational
Creatures : I might ſay alſo, in the Words
of my Motto, It ferves
To wake the Soul by tender Strokes of Art;
To raiſe the Genius, and to mend the Heart.
Hiſtory and Lives have been agreed, on all
Hands, and by the Conſent of all Ages, to
be of the greateſt Value to the World, if they
relate the Actions of the Writer or Hero with
Fidelity and Impartiality. Hiſtory may be
ſaid to be the general Fountain, Biography
a Stream that runs from it. As the Foun-
tain is not ſo acceſſible to the Generality of
the World, it cannot be of ſuch univerſal
Ule
A 5
,
X
The EDITOR'S
Uſe as the Stream which every one can come
to, to ſlake his Thirſt at after Knowledge ;
and there, in that tranſparent Mirror, may
behold himſelf, and learn how to form his
future Behaviour in Life: Beſides, Hiſtory
uſually treats of the Actions of ſuch Beings
as are beyond the common Ken, the Great
and the Exalted; who, as they feldom act
by Rule themſelves, are very improper Pat-
terns for other People beneath them.
The Life of a Man, faithfully related, if
crouded, like that of Mr. Thompſon, with a
Variety of intereſting Events, by the Enter-
tuinnient it muſt of Courſe aſford, captivates
the Mind, and carries one on to read, whe-
ther one will or no. 'Tis drawn by theſe cap.
tivating Strains that we purſue the Thread of
the moſt crabbed Truths with Pleaſure, and
the moſt ſublime Dictates, which had elle,
perhaps, never employed our Thoughts, be-
come taking and familiar. Virtue, as repre-
fented by certain four Philoſophers and Di-
vines, wears ſo many diſcouraging Airs about
her, that the Soul, young and pliant to the
Baits of Pleaſure, looks on her with Aver-
fion, and denies Harbour to the trouble-
fome Gueſt, who ſeems to frown upon him
with too much Auſterity. Thence aroſe
the ancient Method of inſtructing by Fable,
from which it would be no hard Matter to
prove that every other is derived, tho' I own
3
it
PRE FACE.
xi
it to be a bold Affertion. Wiſe Men and
Tutors to the riſing Generation began to ſee
their Error in telling home Truths, and forc-
ing dogmatical Maxims on the young Mind;
they therefore gilt the Pill, and, under theſe
little Tales, brought by Degrees, to Per-
fection, what too much Precipitancy and
Severity would have rendered for ever diſ-
taſteful.
Works of the biographical Sort, as they
have employed the Pains of the Authors, lo
have they gained the Applauſe of all Coun-
tries; and, from a View of the Uſefulneſs of
themand the Emolument ariſing from thence,
fome Genii have endeavoured to improve up-
on the Matter, and have publiſhed great Num-
bers of fictitious Lives and Hiſtories of Perſons
that never have exiſted; and a Swarm of
Romances have overſpread and deluged the
World: Some of them execrably planned,
rather to corrupt unwary Youth, by repre-
fenting all ſober and regular Behaviour as
ridiculous, and proftituting the moſt ſacred
Characters to Reproach. We have bad Men
of all Ranks, no doubt; but there are ſome
Orders of Men, that, in a peculiar Manner,
ought rather to have their Vices concealed,
than expoſed, as the Ignorant are apt to
make very odd Conſtructions, and to recur
from the Perſon, and charge that on his Pro-
feffion, which ought only to be charged upon
A 6
the
>
E
xii
The EDITOR'S
the Man: Others, to excite Mirth, and enter-
tain the Reader's vicious Tafte, have repre-
ſented ſuch ſtrange and ludicrous Characters,
as ſure never exiſted, but in Imagination; un-
couth as the Characters of the famed Rabe-
lais, which no one can liken to any Thing but
thoſe ſhadowy, fantaſtic Repreſentations of
the baſeleſs Fabric of a Viſion, that ſpore in
our Fancies, when laid in the Arms of Sleep.
Others there are, who, indeed, may boaſt of
great Beauties, and their Authors of great
Merit; in which Virtue is inculcated in a
moſt amiable Manner, and the Heart is, Step
by Step, led on to generous and noble Senti-
ments; but ſtill, whilſt they have the Charac-
cers of Romances, People will not give them-
ſelves the needful Trouble to inſpect the
Moral, or, if they do, imagining it the Pro-
duct of mere Imagination, it paſſes off as a
fine fangled Tale, and makes no deep or laſt-
ing Impreſſion. In a real Life founded on
Facts, like this, of a Perſon now in Being,
where every thing may be depended upon,
and goes upon ihe Standard of Truth; where
it wears thoſe indelible Marks of Fidelity
that diſtinguiſh it from all Fiction and In-
vention; where one Fact or Circumſtance
naturally flows from another, and you ſee no.
thing either impoſſible or improbable in the
Narration; real Service is done to Mankind;
and we can't forbear comparing the Cha-
racter
PREFACE.
xiii
racter of the Author with our own, and en-
deavouring to imitate the bright and ſhining
Parts of his Conduct and Behaviour, and to
efchew thoſe Parts which appear to us ab-
ſurd, immoral, and ridiculous: And I think,
where the Life, ſo written, proceeds from
the Pen of the Hero himſelf, Things are ſo
intimately deſcribed, and the Motions of the
Heart are ſo anatomiſed and diffected, and
he relates what he feels, or has felt, fo fenfi-
bly, that it adds freſh. Force and Vigour to
every Thing the Writer would inculcate;
and we alternately, with him, feel the Starts
of Joy, and the Movements and Burſts of
Sorrow, upon every reviving or mortifying
Occurrence that happens.
My Author, I think, is all over new, and
has followed the Track of no former Writer;
his Style and Manner is peculiar to himſelf;
nor has he borrowed any Thing from others,
fave here and there a beautiful Paſſage his
Memory ſuggeſted to him, from our beſt and
fineſt Poets; This our Reader will rather
account, I dare ſay, a Perfection than a Ble-
miſh, and thank him for it, as they are not
brought in incongruouſly and improperly.
Thus I commend Joe't bompſo to the Pe-
ruſal of all kanks of People. The Fair of this
happy Land will riſe improved from their
Reading, as well as the generous Youth, who
pants after Inſtruction. In Families it ſhould
become
xiy The EDITOR'S, &c.
become a kind of Monitor, and in Schools a
Vade Mecum : And that it may be as much
admired by others, as it is by me, and may
be of univerſal Service to Mankind, is the
fincere and hearty Prayer of
The EDITOR.
CON.
!
[ XV]
C Ο Ν Τ Ε Ν Τ S.
CH A P. I.
HE Author's Motives for writing
bis Adventures.--His Birth.---Ac-
count of bis Parents.-Management
of him till be crrives to an Age ſufficient for
School.-Is put under the Tuilion of Mr.
Proſody.
Page 1
T
CH A P. II.
Digreſion on Schoolmaſters. Character of
Mr. Proſody and his Wife, and their
Daughter Urſula. Miijarable Temper of
bis Maſter and Miſtreſs. — Avarice thotgbt
to be conſtitutional..--Miſs Urſula iii Love,
which is oppoſed ly her father. He makes
great Progreſs in kis Learning. Alunoſt
ſtarved. -- Robs Orchards. - Is ſeverely
puniſhed.
8
CH A P. III.
He robs bis Maſter's favourite Fear tree.--Is
diſcovered, and ſeverely ſcourged. --Soothect
by his Maſter and Mijtreſs. -Reſolves to be
revenged. -Cataſtrophe of an extravagant
Gentleman, whole Ghoſt haunts his Maſter's
Hoa.
xvi
CONTENTS
Houſe. He terrifies his Maſter and the
Family.--- Account of the Confuſion they are
in.
Page 15
CH A P. IV.
Miſs Urſula runs away with her Sweetheart.
They examine tha Houſe.—The Daughter
returns.-. She diſcovers the Prank, and the
Author of it. They are ſeized and confined.
Make their Eſcape. -He gets to his Fa-
ther's with his Comrades.
23
CH A P. V.
His Reception at Home with his Comrades.
They are reproved by his Father ----Several
excellent Obſervations.-- His Father, with
thoſe of his Coinpanions, pay a Viſit to Mr.
Profody.---His Behaviour thereon. 30
CH A P. VI.
His Father's Manner of Education. --Sharpley
is ſent to Sea, and Archer to Oporto.-Pró-
per Reflections.-Takes great Delight in
Hunting, and gains the Friendſhip of Sir Wal-
ter Rich, by a generous Astion.--His Father
determines to ſend him to London.
CH A P. VII.
Excellent Diſcourſe of his Father to him
He receives Letters from Sharpley and Ar-
cher.---Sets out with his Father and Mo-
ther
36
----------
CONTENT S. xvii
ther for London.- Arrives there.-- Reflefli-
ons on the firſt Views of that Place.--He is
bound Apprentice to Mr. Diaper, a Whole-
fale Linnen-draper.
Page 44
CH A P. VIII.
Charafler of Mr. Diaper, his Wife, and Son.
--Very aſiduous in his Buſineſs.-Contrafts
a Friendſhip with young Diaper.— Gains the
Eſteem of his Maſter.—Manner of Spending
their vacant Hours.---RefleEtions on Trade
and Commerce
52
CH A P. IX.
He is ſurpriſed by the Carriage of a Maid-
Servant.--Her extraordinary Afiduity to
oblige him. ---She betrays her Love for him.
-His Efforts to cure her.—He is ſeduced by
ber.--His Uneaſineſs thereon. She becomes
troubleſome to him, and jealous.--Cautions to
Youth.-He grows cold to his Friend.-- Seeks
Company.—Becomes acquainted with Prim
the Mercer, and Prig the Attorney.
CH A P. X.
Account of his new Aſociates. He is diſgusted
with their Manners and Behaviour --Be-
comes acquainted with Mr. Speculiſt.-He
imbibes bis Principles.-Turns Rake. — Re-
moves his Miſtreſs to ready furniſhed Lody-
ings, where ſhe is brought to Bed. 65
CHAP
58
xviii
C O N T E N T.S.
1
Page 71
C H A P. XI.
His Extravagancy perceived by his Father's
Friend, to whom he was intruſted-Head-
viſes him.--He grows quite negleatful of his
Buſineſs.---Tender Diſcourſe between him and
young Diaper.- Extravagancy of bis Miſs.
- Quarrels with her.-Diſcovers her Infi-
delity.--Parts with her.-Receives a Let-
ter from his Faiber.
CH A P. XII.
He frequents the Playhouſe.--Converſes with
Women of the Town.-Reforts to Bawdy-
houſes. ---- Adventures at a noted Bagnio.-
Beats the Watch. Is carried with Prim to
the Watch-houſe.—They are releaſed.-
Pays a Debt for Prig. - Commences an Ac-
quaintance with Mrs. Modiſh.
84
CH A P. XIII.
Р.
Fatal Conſequences of his Amour.---Goes to the
Maſquerade. --Picked up at Vauxhall Gar-
dens. ----He is beat and ſtripped.-Gets to
Mr. Speculiſt's Lodgings. ---Cataſtrophe of
Prim. --- Contracts à bau Diſtemper.— Is
quite reduced. --Pawns bis Watch.-Goes
to the Gaming-table.--Is kicked down Stairs.
---Meets Prig at Ton King's.- Returns
Home. Is well received.
96
С НА Р.
?
5
ty
CONTENTS.
xix
Page 116
CHAP. XIV.
Packer wrongs bis Maſter, and is diſcharged.
-Dijcovers Thompſon's Practices to Mr.
Diaper. -- Generous Behaviour of young
Diaper. He reſcues bim from Robbers.--
Bravery of Prig.--He is highly careſſed by
bis Maſter and Miſtreſs.
CH A P. XV.
Diſcourſe between him and young Diaper.-
They are tricked by Gamblers.--He borrows
Money. - Is Scurvily uſed by Speculiſt.
A Diſcovery, which ſurpriſes him.
125.
CH A P. XVI.
Speculift waits upon Mr. Diaper, who re-
proves Thompſon.—He confelles bis Folly.
--- Is pardoned.- Excellent Behaviour of his
Maſter.—Permitted to viſit his Father and
Mother, with his Friend.—They ſet out 072
their journey.
138
CH A P. XVII.
Digreſſion on the Beauties of the Country.
They overtake Compariy, to whom they are
known.-.-dre entertained at Mr. Bellair's.
-Diaper falls in Love with Miſs Sufanna
Bellair. - He relieves her from a great
Danger.--His Paſion approved by her Bro-
ther
CON TEN T S.
thir.-Meets with a Return from her.---
They purſue their Journey. Page 146
CH A P. XVIII.
Story of the inchanted Bridle. - Midnight Ad.
ventures in the Inn.—Diſcourſe between
Dr. Taliſman, Parfon Zealot, and Gage,
the Exciſeman.--Fatal Conſequences of their
Diſpute.--They arrive at Mr. Thompſon's.
- Joy at their Arrival.
154
CH A P. XIX.
He gives his Father an Account of his Maſter's
Goodneſs.--- Is pardoned his late Follies.--
Receives a Preſent from his Mother. - The
Author's Perſon deſcribed.--Vihts Sir Wal-
ter Rich.-His Reception there.-Chara&ter
of Miſs Louiſa Rich.—Mr. Diaper receives
e Letter, which occaſions his Departure. 171
CH A P. XX.
He is enamoured with Miſs Louiſa.-Com-
bates with his Paſſion.-Reſolves to conquer
it.--Mr. Diaper's Advice overcomes his
Reſolution-Sir Walter fetches them to his
Houſe.
184
CHAP. XXI.
.
They are received with great pleaſure by Miſs
Louiſa.--He dances with her at the Ball. --
An
C O N T E N T S. xxi
An Accident diſcovers his AffeEtion to her.
-The Reception it meets with. He is af-
ſaulted and wounded, by fome Perſons un-
known.-Carried to Sir Walter's.--Di-
ſtreſs of Miſs Louiſa, on the Occaſion.--
She declares her Love for him.
Page 191
CH A P. XXII.
Miſs Louiſa confeſſes her Regard for him.
Her amiable Sincerity and Prudence.—He is
overcome by her Goodneſs.—They vow eter-
nal Conſtancy --Natural Rhapſody on Love.
-Their Conjectures of the late Ajoult. 202
CHAP. XXIII.
She makes him her Confidant.—Her amiable Be-
nevolence and Charity. --She ſurpriſes hina
by a Proof of her Goodneſs.–Story of an
unfortunate Family.-—- Advice to young
dies.--He makes a Diſcovery which be imparts
to her.--Her Sentiments of Religion.
CH A P. XXIV.
Mr. Diaper receives Letters from his Father,
with a Letter incloſed from Prig.-Odd
Account of Speculift.-Nerøs arrives from
Archer and Sharpley.--Unhappy End of
Mr. Proſody.--His Diſcourſe with his
Mother, in Relation to Louiſa.--He re-
ceives a Letter of Caution by an unknown
Hand.
21I
222
C H A P.
xxii
Ć O N T E N T S.
CH A P. XXV.
Sir Walter ſurpriſes the two Lovers.--- His
Bebaviour thereon...Is forbid the Houſe.
They correſpond by Letter.-Their Cór.
reſpondence diſcovered. --- Her Woman dif.
charged.---She is privately conveyed away.
Page 230
CH A P. XXVI.
He purſues after her.-Meets 'Squire Rich.
Dares him to Combat, which he Coward-like
refules.-Prepares to punijl him, but be e-
Scopes. -- Is overtaken --He fires at him, and
brings him down.-—Is knocked off bis Horſe
by one of the 'Squire's Attendants himſelf,
Found by certain Paſſengers in a bloody Con-
dition, who-convey him to their Houſe in
their Chariot,Is known by a Lady, whoin
he in vain endeavours to recolle Et. 242
CH A P. XXVII.
The great Care that is taken of him by the
ſtrange Gentleman. - He has a remarkable
Dream which operates towards his Reco-
tery.--Underſtands who his generous Bene-
factor is, who amazes him, by acknowledg-
ing a Favour done to his Lady. 247
CHAP
CONTENT S.
xxiii
CHA P. XXVIII.
He advertiſes his Friend, where to find him.-
Receives a Viſit from Madam Goodwill.
--His Amazement at the sight of her.---
IV ho foe proves to be. She relates her Ad-
ventures.
Page 252
CH A P. XXIX.
ile ſatisfies Mrs. Goodwill's Inquiries. She
engages to take Fidele into her Service. —
Mr. Diaper arrives, with whom he returns
to his Father's. ---Receives a Letter from
Louiſa.--His Friend and he ſet out for Lon-
don.--They arrive at Mr. Bellair's.
270
"
CH A P. XXX.
A generous Propoſal of Mr. Bellair's. --Mr.
Diaper happy in the View of his future
Bliſs.—The tender Parting of the two La-
vers.--They ſet out for London.-- Arrive
there. -- Are moſt affectionately received by
Mr. and Mrs. Diaper.
230
CHA P. XXXI.
He grows melancholy.--His Maſter 12ffers
another great Loſs.-His Friend's Dijirejs
thereon. - Letter to him from Miſs Suſanna
Bellair.--Mr. Diaper writes to Mr. Thomp-
ſon on Account of his Son's Condition. --
His
xxiv CON T E N T S.
His Father writes him a Letter which in-
creaſes bis Diſorder.-Mr. Diaper fails. ---
Behaviour of that worthy Man upon the un-
fortunate Occaſi011.--He gives Thompſon
bis Indentures, accompanied with proper Ad-
vice.
Page 284
CHAP. XXXII.
Mr. Diaper diſcovers his Purpoſe to Thomp-
fon. He takes Leave of Miſs Bellair.
Is accompanied to Graveſend by Thompſon
and Prig - Their tender Farewel.--He em-
barks for China.--Meets with an old Ac-
quaintance at Blackwall.--Her Story, and
Death.---They ſave a Woman from drowning.
Who lhe proves to be.--Sequel of her Story.
299
THE
1
THE
L
I F E
A N D
AD VENTURES
OF
JOE THOMPSON. .
CH A P. I.
The Author's Motives for writing his Adven.
tures. His Birth.- Account of his Pa-
rents.—Management of him till he arrives
to an Age ſufficient for School. Is put un
der the Tuition of Mr. Proſody.
HEN a Man's Life has been one con-
tinued Scene of Misfortunes and Dir-
treſs; and when there Ills have been
brought upon him, principally by his own bad Con-
duct, his prevailing Vices, and repeated Crimes ;
he cannot poſſibly be ſuſpected to be acted upon
by Vanity, or a Luſt of Applauſe, to relate his
Adventures. Such a Relation muſt, then, be dic-
tated by other and better Motives, for it would
VOL. I
B
be
2
The Life and Adventures
be abfurd to ſuppoſe, that the Writer could reap
any Self-ſatisfaction, by making the humbling and
mortifying Diſcovery of ſuch Actions, as muſt in-
cur the Cenſure, and be deſpiſed by the Bulk of
Mankind, and can never engage their Appro-
bation.
The Recapitulation of a Life, even of the moſt
thining Events, ſhould propoſe ſome ſuperior Gra-
tification to the Mind, than the Defire of Praiſe,
or an Inclination to perpetuate a Name; theſe are
mean and low Spurs to ſuch an Attempt; and be-
ljeve me, gentle Reader, was I not thoroughly con-
vinced from Reafon, as well as an higher Authority,
that every Aim, every Action of cur Lives, ſhould
as well be directed to the Good of our Fellow-
creatures, as to our own Purpoſes, and that I am
ſilently accuſed by my own Conſcience, for not
having been of ſo much Uſe, by ſetting a proper
Example, which is the great Work of Life, as I
am aſſured is the Deſign of Providence, that every
Individual ſhould do ; but have perverted the
Ends of my Exiſtence, in the grofleft Manner, in
the former Part of my Time; I ſhould have had no
Inclination to have ſubmitted this Hiſtory to thy
Inſpection. 'T'is, as much as lies in my Power,
to atone for my former Neglect, which its heam
vily upon my Soul, that I venture to appear thus
upon the Stage, and to act over again thoſe Scenes
which plunged me into the moſt torturing Miſe-
ries.
of JOE THOMPSON. 3
ries. If my Pains anſwer the End I ſincerely pro-
pole; if, whilſt the Entertaining and the Amuſing
captivates the Reader, I may be the Means to
caution the giddy and thoughtleſs Part of the
World, from the Purſuit of Folly and Extravagance,
by a lively Repreſentation of the Sufferings they
never fail to produce: If by repreſenting lovely
Virtue, in all her Flow of genuine, native Charms,
with all her Train of inſpiring, encouraging Re-
wards, I ſubdue and melt the Heart to a Love
and Veneration for her l'recepts: If by diſplaying
Vice, all baneful and odious, ſtripped of thoſe artful
enfaring Diſguiſes, that ſo bewitch our depraved
Appetites, I make ſome of her Votaries ficken at
the nauſeous Sight, and abandon her guilty Tri-
umphs, over the Reaſon and over the good Senſe of
our Race ; great will be my Reward, and I ſhall
applaud myſelf for my Labour.
A pleaſant and well ſituated Village, in the Weſt
Riding of Yorkſhire, was the Place of my Nati-
vity. My Father was a Clergyman, and defcended
from a Family of conſiderable Repute in that
County. He enjoyed the Vicarage where I was
born, of which he had been the Incumbent for near
ten Years before. From a fond and tender Affec-
tion, he married my Mother, without the leaſt Con-
fideration of adding to his Fortune: But, tho' they
had been wedded for five Years, they had had no
Child, to their great Concern and Diſquiel : ſo
that
B 2
4
The Life and Adventures
-
.
that I was received with the utmoſt Feſtivity and
Rejoicing, as a Boon from Providence, like the
Child of the Promiſe. Our Neighbourhood was
furrounded by Gentlemen's Seats, and the Pariſh
in general had a moſt high Efteem for my Father.
He was then in the full Vigour of his Age. An
Education of the moſt generous and liberal Caſt
had humanized his Mind, without giving himn that
uncouth Stiffnefs, that unſociable Behaviour, very
often the diſagreeable Attendants of Learning and
Study. To a perfect Knowledge of Books, in al-
moſt every Language, he had joined a Knowledge
of Mankind, and a Politeneſs of Addreſs; which,
without taking from the Dignity of his Function,
diſcovered, in every Thing he ſaid or did, the
fine Gentleman. Tho' he was a thorough Son of
the Church of England, he never, either in his Ser-
mons, or common Diſcourſe, betrayed the leaſt
Animoſity or Prejudice againſt the many Sects and
Parties into which Religion is divided; but prayed
for, and wiſhed well to, every honeſt, upright Man,
Jet his Manner of Thinking, as to the ſpeculative
Part of Religion, be what it would. He was, at
once, the Paſtor, the Phyſician, and the Umpire
of every Diſpute that aroſe, amongſt bis Flock :
And, as his Living was a very good one, he never
exacted his Dues with Severity, and exerciſed, on
every Occaſion, the moſt diffufive Benevolence,
Charity, and Hoſpitality. He had married my Mo-
ther,
}
of JOE THOMPSON. 5
ther, whilſt he was at the Univerſity, and had ever
preſerved the tendereft Regard and Affection for
her, the ſole and only Object of his fondeſt Wiſhes.
Nature ſeemed in her to have formed a Recom-
pence for ſo much Virtue and Goodneſs as exiſted
in my Father : Her Perſon was agreeable ; but
ſuch a Mind ſhone thro' that perſon, as wonder-
fully dignified every Action of her Life. The little
Levities and Frailties of the Sex ſhe was an utter
Stranger to; her very Love to her Huſband was
conducted with an Air of ſo much real good Senſe
and Diſcretion, that every-body was charmed that
approached her. He had furniſhed her Soul with
every uſeful Knowledge that renders a Woman a-
miable and uſeful; which rather was improved by
the Oeconomy and domeſtic Management of her
Family Affairs, in which ſhe took great Delight, and
where a Regularity and Decorum is ſo much the Qr.
nament of a good Woman. They lived together in a
real Harmony and Friendſhip, which Trifles never
had the Power to diſturb; and then were ſo happy
as to have had very few conſiderable Diſquiets.
Such was the Pair to whom I had the Happineſs
to be born ; and I the more particularly have de-
fcribed them, to let the World know that I had
no Excuſe to plead for my ſubſequent Follies, from
the bad Qualities or Examples of my Parents ;
which have generally ſo viſible an Effect on the Ac-
tions of their Children.
B 3
When
6 The Life and Adventures
When I arrived at about three Years of Age,
my Father who doated upon me, took me under
the Shadow of his own Wings, and began to teach
me the Uſe of my Letters; his Maxim being, that
even that infantile Branch of Education fhould be
conducted with Propriety, and not truſted to old
Women, who can ſcarcely ſee the Letters they
pretend to teach. Under his endearing Care, at
Five I read every Thing with a proper Emphaſis ;
and had imbibed from him fuch Precepts of Mo-
rality as ſuited with my Years. At Six I could
write a tolerable good Hand, and was eſteemed a
very ſharp and promiſing Child. My Proficiency
furprized every-body; and the quick Progreſs I
made induced the Country Women to ſay, That
it was impoſſible I ſhould live, I was ſo ſharp and
fo witty.
My Father, who very much approved of the
Way of Education in public Schools, in my ninth
Year, by which Time I had made fome Progreſs
in the Latin Tongue, determined to ſend me from
Home, for my further Inſtruction in the Languages.
He uſed to ſay, That a Number of Youths toge-
ther generally ſpurred and excited each other to an
Emulation in their Purſuit of Learning, and laid
the Foundation of a Knowledge of the World, and
of Friendſhips with one another, of the utmoſt Ule
in the future Courſe of Life.
و
i
1
As.
1
of JOE THOMPSON. 7
As I had been ſo tenderly treated at Home, the
Thoughts of being ſent from my Parents gave me
ſome childiſh Concern, which was ſoon diffipated
when I was informed how many Sports I ſhould
partake of with my Schoolfellows ; for I had yet
had no other Companions than my Father's Family,
he himſelf having condeſcended to divert himſelf
with joining in my moſt puerile Amuſements.
After ſome Difficulty, my Father fixed upon 4.
Gentleman of his own Order, near a Town about
twenty Miles from us, who kept a Boarding-School,
whom he knew to be a Man of conſiderable Learn-
ing, and who had alſo the Reputation of treating
his Scholars with Humanity and Kindneſs : AC-
rdingly, after every Thing was provided, my
Father and Mother ſet out with me for the Houſe
of Mr. Proſody, for that was the Name of my in-
tended Tutor.
At our Arrival, we were received by this Gen-
tleman with great Civility. Every Thing fettled,
and Dinner over, they took their Leaves of me,
whilft I could not refrain from Tears, which I fhed
in Abundance at this firſt Separation from them;
my Mother not forgetting to leave me a Token of
her Love in my Pocket, which was of great Im-
portance to gain the Good-will of my School-
fellows.
B 4.
СНАР,
The Life and Adventures
S.
CH A P. II.
Digreſſion on Schoolmaſters. Character of
Mr. Proſody and his Wife, and their
Daughter Urſula.-Miſerable Temper of
bis Maſter and Miſtreſs.- Avarice thought
to be conftitutional.-Miſs Urſula in Love,
which is oppoſed by her Father. He makes
great Progreſs in his Learning. Almoft
ftarved. Robs Orchards. - Is ſeverely
puniſhed.
INCE I have been capable of Reflection, I
have often been puzzled to find a Reaſon, not
only why Parents were ſo miſtaken in providing
proper Inſtructors for their Children, but alſo how
fo many improper Perſons were to be found in ſo
very intereſting a Profeſſion as that of the Educa-
tion of Youth. The Solution of the firſt Difficulty
is pretty hard, and various Reaſons, I think, may
be aſſigned ; but I believe the principal ones are
Want of Attention, and that the generality of Pa-
rents fondly view the deſired End, but are not ſo
anxious, nor take ſo much Pains, about the Means
to procure it. This, indeed, is the Misfortune
of moſt of us, in every Thing we undertake ; and
Mankind, in the Groſs, may be ſaid to purſue lau-
dable Views, but are woefully deficient in the Means
to attain them; and thus, for Want of a proper
Fore-
of Joe THOMPSON. 9
Forethought, and ſagacious Deliberation, what
ſhould redound to our great Benefit often proves
the Reverſe.
That we have ſo many queer and
improper Tutors is not ſo hard to account for ;
many Men are deſtined to Learning, whofe Souls
never were formed to taſte the Pierian Spring ;
and after waſting a Number of Years in acquiring
a Knowledge of the dead Languages, without any
Thing elſe to recommend them, they launch into
the World; but their ſmall Abilities not affording
Opportunities to riſe, having little other Know-
ledge to recommend them, they, per Force, retreat,
for Shelter from Want, to the Buſineſs of a School-
maſter, where alone they can be important, and
retaliate the bad Conduct of their Parents on the
Morals and Breeches of our Children:
I ſoon diſcerned the Difference between being
under the tender Eyes of my Parents, and the harſh
and crabbed Documents of my Maſter, and ſubject
to the Huinours of his Family. Mr. Profody was
now in the down-hill Part of his Life, the Aſcent
of which had been turmoiled with Care and Anxiety;
partly flowing from the Hardſhips he had under-
gone in a pitiful Curacy, and partly from his own
Want of Genius, and the ſordid Diſpoſition of
his Heart, which influenced, and ſtill continued to
influence all his Motions. He had thus contracted
ſuch an habitual Moroſeneſs of Countenance, thar,
whenever you looked at him, you muſt conceive the
B 5
moſt
+
10
The Life and Adventure3
moſt unfavourable Idea of a Mind that could lo
uncouthly paint a Viſage with Lines of Ill nature
and Sourneſs. He was, indeed, a good claſſical
Scholar ; and, in ſaying that, you exhauſted the
whole Scope of Praiſe that was juſtly due to him.
To his Family and Pupils he was a complete Ty-
rant; and, in the Exerciſe of the Birchen Diſci.
pline, Buſby of old was but a meer Type of him.
He had the moſt profound Regard to Orthodoxy
in Opinion, and did not ſcruple to damn all thoſe
that differed from him in Sentiment, either as to
Religion or Politicks; and his Neighbours in ge-
neral ftigmatized him with the Name of a facobite,
- and, indeed, he really was a concealed Nonjuror :
However, the Complaiſance of the World agreed
to look upon him as a good Pedagogue, and in that
Capacity he had exifted all the latter Days of his Life,
and had raiſed a pretty conſiderable Sum of Mo-
ney in that Employment. His Wife, Mrs. De-
borah Proſedy, was as odd a Figure as can poflibly
be imagined : She was ſomewhat protuberant be-
hind, which has robbed-her of her Fulneſs before ;
and her Face was a moſt diſagreeable Affortment
of forbidding Features ; ſmall light-coloured Eyes
the häd, but fo buried in their Sockets, that they
could be compared only to thoſe of an Owl; and
the Motion of her Eye-lids reſembled ſomewhat that
of the nictating Membrane of Birds ; her Mouth was
fcrewed up, and betrayed her Deficiency of Teeth i
and
!
1
i
of JOE THOMPSON.
II
and the pointed Extremities of her Chin and Noſe
were in ſuch Approximation with each other, that
the former generally plentifully bedewed the latter
with its trickling Diftillations; her Skin appeared
like a Parchment that has been ſhriveled up by the
Heat of the Fire; and this worthy Perſonage had
been very affiduous to affift her Huſband's accumulat-
ing Temper, by pinching the Guts of the Boys, in
equal Proportion to the Food he beſtowed upon
their Brains. Her Avarice was unbounded, and
the betrayed her Diſpoſition in every Action ft.e
performed ; ſhe uſed to harangue plentifully on
the falutiferous and grateful Nature of Soups, and
the excellent Properties of Mutton Dripping, whichi
was, from its healing and balſamic Qualities, given
to us in lieu of Butter; and, as to Water, ſhe had
diſcovered more Virtues in the Uſe of it than ever
Hancock did. Her Stature was low, and a conſtant
Habit of Fretfulneſs kept her as lean as the Picture
of Famine could be ſuppoſed to be. I cannot help
obſerving, by the bye, that Avarice generally lurks
under ſuch Appearances ; and I queition if that
Vice is not in ſome Meaſure conílitutional ; for
where Nature has denied that Flow of generous
Juices that warm and invigorate the human Frame,
and has beſtowed them in a ſpare and niggard Man-
ner, the Heart diſtends not to generous and kind
Sentiments, feels not the Warmth of Benevolence
and Charity ; but, being buried and confined in an
B 6
adult
I
I 2
The Life and Adventures
1
aduſt or frigid Breaft, dies away into the ſtarveling
Ideas of Jealouſy, Suſpicion, and Covetouſneſs ĝ
moſt of the Subjects of their fordid Reign being of
this Meagre Frame, and Habit of Body.
MiſsLrfula the Daughter and Heireſs of this
mighty Pedagogue, was turned of Thirty, and had
been a Slave to the Humours of her Parents from
her Cradle ; whoſe Authority Love had now made
her demur to, lhe having conceived an Affection
for Mr. Job Harrow, the Son of a neighbouring
Farmer, who firſt taught her to own the Sway of that
powerful Deity. She was not diſagreeable in her
Perſon, which was, however, of the largeſt Size,
and her Features were regular ; and, had Miſs not
been a little given too much to Pride, ſhe would
have been a tolerable Companion for Life, for him
or any other Farmer in Yorkſhire. Young Harrow
was as arch a Tike as any in the County, and was
more enamoured, it was ſuppoſed, with the old
Man's Bags than with his Daughter ; but old Surly
was abſolutely againſt his Urſula's diſpoſing of her-
felf; and the Reaſon was, that he knew he muſt
lug out his Purſe upon the Occaſion ; and that was
a Reflection that included too much Horror for
him to indulge. He uſed to declaim then greatly
againſt Children's leaving their Parents for an Hur.
band, and infifted upon it as a Duty incumbent on
them to cloſe their Eyes, before they entered into
Wedlock. Urſula, however, little reliſhed this
Doctrine,
1
!
of Joe THOMPSON.
F3
Doctrine, and was over the Head and Ears in Love,
which occaſioned much Bickering between her and
her Father and Mother.
As I had made fome Proficiency at Home, I was
immediately put into the third Form, where they
were reading Virgil; and, in about a Year's Time,
I was foremoſt of the ſecond Claſs, and began to
reliſh the Elegancy of the politeſt and beſt Ro-
man Authors; but, whilſt I thus improved in my
Learning, I grew in Condition as ſleek and thin
as a Running-Horſe, from the Short-commons
that were generally my Portion. We had about
thirty Boarders; and our Miſtreſs ſo managed Mat-
ters, that what would ſcarcely have kept Life and
Soul together, in half that Number, ſufficed us
all.
She had an excellent Talent of making a great
deal out of a little ; and a fmall Quantity of Meat
generally reliſhed a tremendous Vaſe of Soup, or
Broth, which had little other Reliſh than that of
the Ingredients of the Root, or Herb Kind; and,
as to our Bread and our Cheeſe, the contrived to
have them fo ftale and hard, that our Jaws were
tired, before we could ſatisfy our Hunger. My
Caſe indeed was better than that of moft of my
Comrades, as my Father ſeldom let me want
Money; and I had Preſents frequently ſent me
by other Relations ; but which, as I was ſwayed by
great Generoſity of Temper, I was pretty free in
ز
diffuſing
14
The Life and Adventures
diffuſing the Benefits of to my particular Favourites.
No Wonder if we laid the Orchards and Gardens
of the Vicinity under frequent Contributions, as
our boyiſh Love of Fruit was thus ſtimulated by
Hunger; and indeed our Depredations were ſo no-
torious, that we were frequently found out, and
our ſmarting Pofteriors commonly paid for the De-
vaftations we made. The Severity this Diſcipline
was practiſed with, by our Maſter, raiſed a down-
right Hatred and Contempt in moſt of us towards
him
; but we made a Point of it never to complain
to our Parents, being athamed of ſuch a Poverty
of Spirit and Weakneſs; enduring the Smart with-
out much Fear or Compunction, by a long Courſe
of Habit. I, for my Part, being naturally of a
high Mettle, and given much to Unluckineſs and
Waggery of all sorts, foon became Chief, and
Leader of the reſt, in all our Pranks, and generally
came off with the greateſt Share of Puniſhment,
which I bore with the Reſolution of a Martyr ;
and had ſo often gone throʻ a Courſe of Flogging,
that my Breech was become perfectly hardened
and callous. My Ambition, however, which ex-
ceeded all the reft of my Paſſions, made me very
affiduous at my Book; ſo that, at the End of three
Years, I became the Admiration of my Maſter:
himſelf, and the Envy of my School mates.
С НАР,
of JOE THOMPSON.
15
CH A P. III.
He robs: his Maſter's favourite Pear-tree.
Is diſcovered, and ſeverely ſcourged.--Soothed
by his Maſter and Miſtreſs.- Reſolves to be
revenged.--Cataſtrophe of an extravagant
Gentleman, whoſe Ghoſt haunts his Maſter's
Houſe.—He terrifies his Maſter and the
Family.--Account of the Confuſion. They are:
in.
TITHERTO our Ravages had been car-
HT
ried on at ſome Diftance from Home; but
our Mafter having a very fine Pear-tree in a Gar-
den, which was kept under Lock and Key, I pro-
poſed to two or three of thoſe Boys that formed
our Council, that we thould make an Attack upon
thoſe tempting Cates. I urged the Abſurdity of
keeping us from the Enjoyment of ſuch a Ban-
quet; ſaying, as we were Part of his Family, we
ought to have an unlimited Licence to rove at
large in that Garden, as well as any other Part of
his Houſe; intimating beſides, that it was very
hard that Mrs. Profody ſhould make Money of
thofe Pears, which ſhe really did, when our Parents
were told, when we firſt came, that all the Fruit
about the place was intended for our Uſe and Re-
freſhment. My Arguments prevailed, and we
fet immediately to execute our Scheme. This
Tree,
; 6 The Life and Adventures
Tree, which bore ſeveral Buſhels of Fruit, ſtood
fo cloſe to the Wall, that ſeveral of its Branches
projected over it ; therefore I propoſed they ſhould
hoiſt me up on their Shoulders, and wait below,
whilft I gathered the Pears, and flung them into
their Hats : No ſooner ſaid but done, and over I
went; and was very buſy in my Occupation, when
I perceived, at ſome Diſtance, my Maſter weed-
ing a Flower-Pot. As the whole Spot was thick
ſet with Trees, he could not poffibly diſcover me,
tho', by the Elevation of my Situation, I had a
full View of him. Being tempted, by ſuch a
lucky Opportunity, to gratify a little of that Re-
fentment his Whippings had inſpired, I took full
Ain at him with a Pear, and happened to hit him juſt
upon the Corner of his Hat, which immediately,
with his Wig, fell off ; and I was going to ſecond
my Blow, but, unfortunately for poor Pill Gar-
lick, the Spring I gave myſelf ſnapped the Branch
I ſtood upon, and down I came on the Inſide of the
Wall, bringing along with me, and the Ruins,
whole Loads of this forbidden Fruit. The Noiſe
rouſed the old Gentleman from the Contempla-
tion of what had juſt happened, and he came upon
me, before I could diſentangle myſelf, and ſeized
me, with the utmoſt Fury painted in his Face.
In the firſt Motions of his Rage he felled me, with
one Blow, at his Feet; and when I recovered,
which was not for ſome Minutes, he dragged me
by
of JOE THOMPSON. 17
by the Collar into the School-room, where bind.
ing me to his Deſk, I underwent a more ſevere
Flogging than ever was exerciſed upon a Wretch
at the Cart's Tail. His Paffion was too violent
to admit him to utter any Expreſſions, and when
he unbound me, which he did not till he was quite
out of Breath, he left me, ſurlily crying, “ There,
“ I believe this will make you remember me," wal-
lowing in the Blood that plentifully flowed from me
upon the floor. It was near two Hours before I
was able to ſtand, and then I crept up to Bed in the
utmoſt Agony and Torture; where I had not been
long before his Wife came up, and, pretending to
caution me againſt fuch Tricks for the future, ad-
miniſtered ſome Unguent or other, which eaſed
the Smart of my Back, which was before almoſt in-
tolerable. After fome Reflections upon my Ro-
guery, ſhe ſoothed me, (for indeed the old Man had
imagined he had carried Matters too far, and ſent
her up for that Purpoſe) and told me, ſhe would
interceed with my Maſter to forgive me. Accord-
ingly, in an Hour afterwards, Proſody himſelf came
into my Room, and, after ſome very fevere Ex-
poftulations, told me he ſhould paſs by any further
Correction for this Offence, and once more try if I
would leave off ſuch vicious Practices; and, fo lay-
ing, put a ſmall Piece of Money into my Hand, and
bid me lie in Bed till next Day, where I had great
Care taken of me. This was an unparalleled Piece
Quero
The Life and Adventures
of Generoſity, conſidering his Temper ; but did not
in the leaſt extinguiſh my Defire and thorough
Reſolution to revenge myſelf upon him, the very
firft Opportunity.
Mr. Profody's Houſe, which was an antique Go-
thic Structure, very large, and, by the Thickneſs
and Strength of its Walls, an Infance of that
Regard our Anceſtors fhewed to Pofterity, even in
their Buildings ; had many Years, according to the
Report of the Country, been haunted by the Ghoſt
of a young Gentleman, whoſe Manſion houſe it
had been, and who, after running out his Eitate,
had ended' bis Life and Extravagancies together,
by ſhooting himſelf thro' the Head. A Muider
generally, in theſe Parts, is the Forerunner of an
Apparition, and there were not wanting many
Witneſſes to his having been ſeen over and over
walking thro' the Garden at the Mid of Night,
without his Head; ſo far the credulous Country
People had impoſed upon themſelves by their Su-
perftition; nay, a certain old Dame, who lived at
two or three Fields Diſtance, frequently faw gleam-
ing Lights throw the Windows, which with very
great State progreſſively went from Room to Room,
and then diſappeared all on a ſudden : 'Squire ſuch
an one, they would tell you very gravely, who
lived in the Houſe at ſuch a Time, was obliged to
remove, after having with his Family been ſcared
out of his Wits, by uncommon Knockings and
Unboltings
2
IQ
of Joe THOMPSON.
سمير !
Unboltings of the Windows and Doors, ſo that
they could get no Reſt or Quiet: Sometimes, to
be ſure, large Flames of Fire were ſeen to iſſue
from Chimnies, which had conveyed no Smoke
thro' them for many Years; and ſuch dreadful Ap-
prehenſions thefe Stories had raiſed, that none of
the Country Folks thereabout would come within
a Furlong or two of the Houſe, after Dark; Farmer
Barley having had his Horſe frightened ſo much,
that he Aung him over his Head, and Gammer
Wilſon had been by fome unſeen Perſon thrown in-
to a Ditch, and hardly knew if ſhe got Home on
her Head or her Feet. Our Maſter, who was a
great Enthuſiaſt, did not pretend to diſbelieve theſe
Relations; but the low Rent, and the Commodi-
ouſneſs of the Houfe for his Buſineſs, had induced
him to defy Satan and all his Black-guard, and to
become the Tenant, tho', many a Time and often,
he and his wife and Family had heard very ſtrange
Buftling in the Room where the Gentleman mur-
dered himſelf, which, therefore, with three or
four more of the moſt obnoxious, were conſtantly
locked and bolted, and no one ſuffered to go into
them. Whether the Apparition was pleaſed with
this Civility or no I can't tell, but of late the Family
had not been much diſturbed, which raiſed a great
Opinion of the Pedant's Sanctity in all the adjacent
Villages. As to my Part, my Knowledge acquire.
ed from my Father, and the Method and Manner.
of
20
The Life and Adventures
of my bringing up, together with my natural
Temper, defended me from Fear; but the reſt of
my Schoolfellows were under terrible Notions of
this Spirit or Spirits which had committed ſuch Ha-
vock. With the Alliſtance of this Apparition, I
was reſolved to retaliate my late Puniſhment on the
Head of old Profody, and after having communi-
'cated my Scheme to my two principal Cronies, both
about the fame Age with myſelf, reſolutely ſet
about the Execution of it.
We procured two Cats of the Boar Kind, and,
having provided a Quantity of Old red Cloth, we
ſewed up a Couple of very antic Dreſſes for them,
and then, cutting off their Claws, put Walnut Shells
filled with Pitch upon their Feet: All this we had
Opportunity to perform unobſerved in a Garret
which no-body ever entered, ſituated at the far-
theft Part of the Houſe, and where we kept our
Familiars confined till the Moment they were to
come to Action. It was on a Sunday in the Even-
ing, when the whole family were congregated in
a large Hall, and our Maſter was reading and ex-
pounding the Scriptures, that we, on various Pre-
tences, left the Room, and went up into our Con-
fultation-chamber; where having fixed our Inſtry-
ments, and opened all the Chamber-doors we could
come at, one of us diſcharged a ſmall Pocket-piſtol,
at which Signal the Cats were ſet looſe in all their
groteſque Attire, with a ſufficient Quantity of Pep-
per
of Joe THOMPSON.
21
per ribbed under their Tails ; and then we all ran
down in a ſeeming Hurry and Precipitation, ac-
quainting our Tyrant, that there were certainly
ſtrange Doings above Stairs, for that we could hear
violent Stampings to and fro in every Room in the
Houſe. They were ſufficiently alarmed before, at
the Report of the Piſtol, and preſently heard a vio-
lent Stamping and Clattering in the Story over our
Heads and the Entry. In ſhort, the Cats, unuſed
to ſuch Confinement, frighted with the Noiſe of
their own Feet, and at the fame Time irritated
with the Fire in their Tails, made a moſt helliſh
Uproar, and, Aying from Place to place with la-
mentable Cries and Squallings, one would have ima-
gined the wholc Militia of Hell had broken looſe.
The old Woman fell upon her Knees, Miſs Urſula
fainted away, and the Pedant, after pronouncing
with great Emotion and Emphalis, Lord have Merry
upon us ! followed the Example of his Wife: The
terrible Screams of the Boys, the Barking of two or
three Dogs, and a Quantity of Brimſtone which I
had Nily thrown into the Fire, whilſt in the Con-
fuſion my Comrades had beat out the Candles, pre-
fented ſuch a Scene of Terror and Uproar, as can
ſcarcely be deſcribed ; but how was it increaſed,
when the two Spectres flew into the Kitchen, and
after overturning a whole Tier of Pewter, and de-
moliſhing a Shelf of Crockery Ware, entered with
wild Screams into the Hall! and, one of them ſet-
3
tling
og 2 The Life and Adventures
tling for fome Time on the Back of our Maſter, he
juſt gave one hideous Groan, and fell proftrate
without Senſe on the Floor. Our Satisfaction was
complete, when, by the unfavoury Smell that iſſued
from all Parties, we could gather the violent Con-
vulſions Fear had put them into; and, taking Ad-
vantage of the preſent Moment, we pinched old
Surly with Pins, and tweaked him by the Ears,
that he roared out in a moft lamentable Manner,
ever and anon, crying, Avant Satan! In the Name
of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghoſt, what art! All
this while we pretended alſo to be in the utmoſt Ago-
ny, and exclaimed louder than all the reſt together,
not forgetting, however, to ſeize our feline Accom-
plices in Time ; which we did unperceived of any
one, and, ſtripping them of their Habits, turned
them out of Doors, Ainging at the ſame Time a
Quantity of large Crackers flily into the Fire, which
made a loud Exploſion, and ſhook the whole Room.
CHAP
-
i
of JOE THOMPSON.
23
CHAP. IV.
Miſs Urſula runs away with her Sweetheart.
-They examine the Houſe.--The Daughter
returns.----She diſcovers the Prank, and the
Authors of it.- They are ſeized and confin-
ed. - Make their Escape.- He gets to his
Father's will his Comrades.
Y en
OUNG Farmer Harrow, whoſe Friendſhip
we had gained, by carrying Letters and ſerve
ing him in his Amour, having been informed of our
Device, had furniſhed us with what Materials we
were deficient in; and, as the old Man had prohi-
bited him the Sight of his Daughter for ſome Time,
he thought this a good Opportunity to get her a-
way from him, and therefore was waiting at ſome
Diſtance to ſee the Event. It was a long Time be-
fore any one dared hold up his Head, but at length
I cried out, with great Trepidation of Voice, I believe
they are gonem; upon which the Pedagouge
raiſing his Head up, and ſeeing the Coaft clear, with
a great many Exclamations of Lord have Mercy
upon me! what dreadful Appearances are theſe !
went to the Afliſtance of his Wife, who with ſome
Difficulty was perſuaded to ariſe. As to Miſs Ure
ſula, as ſoon as ſhe recovered, ſhe run out of Doors
with the utmoſt Expedition, and was immediately
accoſted by her Paramour, to whom ſhe fled for
Succour;
24
The Life and Adventures
Succour ; who, after endeavouring to abate her
Apprehenſions, perſuaded her to take Shelter at his
Father's, and not return to a Spot which the Devil
or ſome of his Imps had rendered ſo dreadful : She
was ſoon perſuaded to this, and ſo mounting behind
him he rode off with her, not without her ſhew-
ing the utmoſt Horror at the sight of every Buſh
and Tree he paſſed in the Way. Various were
the Judgments of all Parties upon the late Adven-
ture. Mrs. Profody, who by the Way never had
looked up, was .certain the ſaw ſeveral very horrid
Shapes, belching Flames out of their Mouths and
Noſtrils; one of the Boys had ſeen a Thing as tall
as the Room was long, all over covered with Brim-
ſtone and Fire; as to our Maſter, he not in the leaſt
doubted that they were imported from the infernal
Regions, and, to ſtrengthen his Opinion, remarked
the ſulphureous Scent they had left behind them. It
was a long Time before they were ſomewhat com-
pored, and then we went in Proceſſion, each ſtriv-
ing to be laſt, to inſpect the Rooms over Head; and
diverſe Comments were made upon every Thing
there, particularly at the Doors being all Aung wide
open, which, Mr. Profody well obſerved, was not
very neceſſary to fuch aerial Beings, ſeeing the Key-
hole might as well have ſerved for their Paſſage ;
he complained greatly at their perſonal ill Uſage of
him, and his Imagination had magnified the Prick-
ing of Pins into the fixing Claws and Talons into
all
;
of Joe THOMPSON. 25
all Parts of his Body. His Daughter's Abſence,
who could not be found high nor low, gave him
great Apprehenfions, and he was fearful, as he had
not obſerved when ſhe withdrew, that they had taken
her away when they had vaniſhed; which he con-
jectured muſt be, when the dreadful Peal of Thun-
der, as he called it, growled in his Ears. He con-
cluded his Diſcourſe with repeating in a mournful
Tone, accompanied with a profound Sigh, thoſe
Lines of Milton :
Spirits, in whatſoever Shape they chuſe,
Dilated or condenſe, bright or obſcure,
Gan execute their airy Purpoſes,
And Works of Love or Enmity produce !
He gave all, moreover, a ſtrict Charge not to
, ,
divulge the Occurrence to any of the Neighbours,
fearing, may hap, that it might be prejudicial to
his Intereſt with the Parents of his Boarders.
As to myſelf and my Fellow-conſpirators, we got
a-part, as ſoon as we could, and then gave Vent to
our Mirth, and applauded each other for the Con-
duct we had fhewn in the Execution of our Project,
and bound one another by ſolemn Promiſes to the
Keeping of the Secret.
The next Morning my Maſter was releaſed from
one Part of his Anxiety by the Arrival of old Mr.
Harrow, who came to let him know that his Daugh-
VOL. I,
C
ter
26
Tbe Life and Adventures
ter was married to his Son, and, to make the Mai-
ter eaſy, which he found leſs difficult, as the Fa-
ther was much mortified and creft-fallen at what
had happened the Night before ; and the new
married couple were introduced and pardoned im-
mediately; but, as the Bridegroom had very inju-
diciouſly truſted the Secret to his Wife the Night
before, the, like a true Woman, was too big with
it, and too much mortified to ſee her Father and
Mother with herſelf ſo much duped by three Strip-
lings, to conceal it long, and that very Evening be-
trayed the whole Affair. Words can't expreſs the
Rage of the old Pedagogue ; like a furious Maſtiff,
who, in the midſt of an hungry Fit, has been
robbed of his favourite Bone by ſome puny whiffling
Cur, and ſeizes him by the Neck, and worries and
tears him without Mercy, deaf to all the Yelpings
and Moans he makes; ſo ſeizing us all three, he
hauled us, in the utmoſt Conſternation, into the
School-room, where he locked us in, telling us
with great Fierceneſs, he would return to us foon,
when he had thought of a Puniſhment ſevere enough
for our Demerits. As ſoon as we had recovered
ourſelves a little from our Surpriſe and Diſmay, we
began to conſult how we ſhould avoid the inpend-
ing Storm that threatened us; and, at laft, came
all to a Reſolution to endeavour an Eſcape, and re-
turn to our Fathers, and let them honeſtly into the
whole of the Affair, and truſt to their Mercy; as
we
of JOE THOMPSON.
27
we had numberleſs Allegations againſt our Maſter
and Miſtreſs, which would counterbalance their Ac-
cuſations. We had all exhauſted the Meaſure of In-
ſtruction and Learning he had the Capacity to beſtow
on us, and as we apprehended we had not thrown
away their Money, or our Time, it gave us the ut-
moſt Confidence of getting well over the Matter.
The School-room was one Story high, and under-
neath one of the back Windows was an Out-houſe,
that ſerved for a Brew-houſe, which was quite cloſe to
the Wall, and but aſmall Deſcent from the Window:
This we pitched upon as the readieſt Way to get
from Durance, as we could drop from the Window
upon the Tiling, and from thence, for Lads of our
Agility, it was but a moderate Jump to the Ground.
The Names of my two Fellow-ſufferers were Jack
Sharpley and Tom Archer, both pretty near my own
Age; and the former was the firſt to try the Ex-
periment, which we could not delay a Moment, for
already an Hour and an Half had been ſpent in the
foregoing Deliberations. He made his Eſſay, and
got
down very ſucceſsfully, and ſo did Tom Archer ;
but I, not practiſing the fame Sleight, or being
heavier, broke the Tiling, and fell through the
Rafters into the Brew-houſe. I was almoſt ſtunned
by the Fall; but recovered myſelf in a few Minutes,
and, examining the Door, found it, to my great
Terror, locked faſt, ſo that I was fairly caught in
Lol's Pound : I could ſee no Way to deliver my-
felf
C2
2:8 The Life and Adventures
felf from this unexpected Priſon, and, whift I was
ruminating, heard the Key turn in the Door, on
which I hid myſelf behind a large Back, trembling
and ſhaking with Apprehenfion from Head to
Foot. As ſoon as the Door opened, I ſaw it was
my
Maſter that entered, who, perceiving the
Damage done overhead, for he had not heard the
Noiſe I made in my Fall, immediately gueſſed at the
Caſe, and cried to himſelf: “Oho! my Gentle-
" men were making their Eſcape I find; but I dare
ſay one of them has fallen into this Trap, if not
" all the Three.” And then, calling to his Wife,
he bid her ſend one of the Boys with a Light, for the
farther Part of the Place was very dark. I cannot
ſay I ever was in a more doleful Situation in my
Life, and was ſo confuſed with Dread and Fear,
that not one Scheme preſented itſelf for my Deli-
verance, and I thought I muſt infallibly fall a Prey
to this fierce Enemy. The Candle came, and
he bid the Boy place a Stool, on which he got up,
firſt to inſpect a large Copper, which was almoſt
underneath the Fracture I had made in the Ceiling,
but which luckily I had eſcaped falling into : As
he was ſomewhat purblind, he ftooped over, that
he might have the more commodious View, and to
reach farther ſtood on one Leg: Now, ſays I to
myſelf, is the Time to eſcape or never, and, run-
ing ſwiftly from my Hiding place, tok hold of his
ſupporting Leg, and at one Heaving toſſed him
Head
of Joe THOMPSON. 29
Head foremoſt into the Copper, which, by the Report
of his Fall, ſeemed not to be quite void of Water;
then at one Bound ſprung through the Door-way,
and without one reverted Look, ſwift as a frighted
Hare before the purſuing greedy Hounds, I gained
the Bottom of the Garden, and ſoon meaſured
the adjacent Meadow, where I found my two Af-
ſociates, who were trembling and apprehenſive for
my Safety. They could ſcarce believe their Eyes;
but it was no Time to talk, and, hallooing to them
to follow me, we neither ſtopped nor pauſed till we
got near two Miles from the Territories of our Pera
fecutor : We then abated our Speed, and heartily
congratulated one another, that we had thus ſaved
our Bacon, and diſappointed the Vengeance of this
cruel Pedagogue. Upon examining our Stock of
Money, we found three or four Shillings amongſt
us all, which was more than ſufficient to defray
our Expences to my Father's, where, through niy
Perſuafions, my Companions agreed to accompany
me, before they went to their reſpective Homes, as
their Parents both lived within five or fix Miles of
our Houſe, and I had promiſed to engage him to be
come the Mediator with them for their Pardon. We
arrived at about Six o'Clock in the following Evening
in our Village ; but I did not chuſe to enter my Fa-
ther's abruptly, and therefore got Mr.Solfa, the Clerk,
to go firſt to him, with an Account of our Arrival,
and to beg Leave we might wait upon him, with a
C3
Relation
1
1
30
The Life and Adventures
Relation of the Reaſons for our Elopement. He
readily undertook the Taſk, having been always
very fond of me, and, my Father not being at
Home, imparted the News to my Mother, who
eagerly ordered us to come to her ; which accord-
ingly we performed, and I was received with the
utmoft Tenderneſs and Affection, and my Com-
panions, with great Civility, and were ordered to
be refreſhed before ſhe would hear our Story.
CHAP. V.
His Reception at Home with his Comrades.-
Tley are reproved by his Father.--Several
excellent Obfervations. --His Father, with
thoſe of his Companions, pay a Viſit to Mr.
Profody.—His Behaviour thereon.
A
Galley-ſlave that has been long chained to
the Dar, and ſubjected to the remorſeleſs
Rage and cruel Stripes of his Overſeer, could
not more rejoice at being reſtored to Freedom,
than we did, at our Deliverance from the Bruta.
lity of our incenſed Maſter; and my Mother, who
indulged the utmoſt Fondneſs at my unexpected
Arrival, not having feen nie above once ſince I
firſt went to School, undertook to break the Mat-
ter to my Father, and to make my Peace, when
the
of Joe THOMPSON. 31
:
1
The underſtood in what a Manner we had been
uſed, at which ſhe expreſſed the utmoſt Indigna-
tion. He had been to pay a Viſit to a neigh-
bouring Gentleman, and did not return till pretty
late, when my Mother let him into the Story,
which very much ſurpriſed him, and he deſired her
to call us to him. I ran to him, as ſoon as I ſaw
him, and he very affectionately embraced me :
• So Joey! So young Gentlemen! I find you
so have fled from Puniſhment; let me have a ſin-
cere and true Account of what has happened,
6 and by that I ſhall be able to judge whether I
66 ſhall entertain you, or ſend you back to your
“ Malter." I was Spokeſman, and therefore re-
lated to him, which he never had any Idea of be-
fore, the tyrannical Behaviour, the terrible Scourg-
ings of Mr. Proſody, and the Hardſhips we had
undergone from the miſerable and covetous Tem-
per of him and his Wife; the Story of the Pear-
tree, the Adventure of the Cats, and every Thing
elle, without Diſguiſe ; concluding, that, as I had
attained to every Thing that he was capable to teach
me, and had been far from neglecting my Book,
I hoped he would not ſo far mortify me, as to
fend me there again ; but would either under-
take the further Care of me himſelf, or procure
me another Maſter, and intercede with the Pa.
rents of my Friends, to take them alſo into Fa-
He was greatly incenſed at the Treatment
vour.
C4
ve
32
The Life and Adventures
ز
we had met with, and could ſcarcely keep the Gra-
vity of his Countenance, whilft I related the little
Pranks we had played our Tutor ; but, conſtrain-
ing himſelf as much as poſſible, he gave us the
following Lecture :
“ I am charmed, my Dear, that you have not
“ miſpent your School Hours, but have made fuch
" a Proficiency in the Languages, which indeed
“ I have heard before from your Mafter himſelf,
“ who was alſo tempted, young Gentlemen, to
" give me the ſame Account of you too, the laſt
C6 Time I was at his Houſe; which I communi-
"s cated to your Fathers, and which gave them
great Satisfaction. We had intended to take
you away from thence, at the Expiration of
" the next Quarter, but you have anticipated our
ó. Deſign. I blame myſelf for not having mcre
" minutely enquired into Matters of ſuch Impor-
tance, as the Temper and Diſpoſition of a Per-
66 fon whom I entruſted with the Government of
“ you, at ſuch a critical Part of Life ; the right
“ Management of ſuch young Minds, at that
“ Time, laying the Foundation of every future
“ Good, or, on the contrary, every future Er-
“: ror and Misfortune; I own, I was deceived
" in the Account I received, both of him and
« his Family, lo falſely terder Perſons are of
giving a true Character of a Man in ſuch an
66 Employment. From my Knowledge of your
natu
16 natio
of Joe THOMPSON. 33
« natural Temper, I muſt imagine you would
« never have been guilty of ſome Things you have
“ mentioned, had not the contemptible Beha-
“ viour of your Maſter, and the little Care he
(6 took to form your Minds, which, by the bye,
“ is one principal Bufineſs of a Schoolmaſter,
" Jaid you open to ſuch puerile Temptations as
“ lay in your Way. If I forgive you, and re-
64 ceive you into Favour, it is on this Condition,
“ that you are forry for any Diſregard, though
ever ſo trifling; you have paid to other People's
6 Property, and the low and baſe Principles of
« Revenge, which, indeed, your Mafter ſet you
an Example of, that you have indulged; though
now they may be imputed to boyiſh Inattention
6 and Folly, if not checked, they may grow too
“ ſtrong for all the good Senſe you may ever be
" Maſters of to eradicate. You, Sir, for the fu-
“ ture Part of your Education, ſhall be indebted
6 to my Care; I begin to ſee the Folly of public
“ Schools, merely becauſe we can never be ſure of
“ the good Qualities of thoſe we con hide you to :
“ As to you, young Gentlemen, you'll ſtay with
“ Joe, till I have ſeen your Fathers, and reconciled
" them to my Way of thinking.” When he had
thus finiſhed this reaſonable and tender Speech, he
took me in his Arms, and embraced me with great
Emotion, and alſo faluted my School-fellows; and
then proceeded to examine us in the ſeveral Authors
we had read, and applauded us greatly for the ready
Know-
S
C 5
34
The Life and Adventures
Knowledge we fhewed in them, and the Taſte we
ſeemed to have for their Elegancies. I was now in
my
fourteenth Year, and, without Vanity, may fay,
that Nature had ſtamped on my Soul the moſt virtu-
ous and generous Affections; no Wonder then, if
the kind Reception I met with at Home, and the
reaſonable and prudent Manner of my Treatment,
gave me the higheſt Sentiments of Reſpect and
Veneration for this good Father ; a contrary Treat-
ment, and ſending me back again, would have
had the worſt Effects, upon ſuch a Temper, which
Argument and Perſuaſion will work upon, with
proper Force, but Sourneſs, Ill-nature, and Harih-
seſs, diive to the laſt Extremities : The more Boys
are uſed like rational, thinking Creatures, the
more they are applied to by gentle Methods, the
better they behave; and the contrary Maxims, I
am perſuaded, are the Cauſes of much of that Dee
generacy, we every Day have ſuch melancholy
Proofs of, in the riſing Generation. By being
thus treated, they learn a Habit of reaſoning, and
ſo ſtrongly imbibe it, that they practiſe it all their
Lives after; and let the Sallies of their boiling
Paffions carry them to ever ſuch extravagant
Lengths, you fix a Monitor in their Breaſts, which
fooner or later draws them off from, and corrects
their wild Purſuits.
My Father waited, the next Day, on Mr. Sharp-
ley and Mr. Archer, who, as they were both Men
of
of Joe THOMPSON.
35
of good Senſe, eaſily came into his Notions, and
agreed to take their Sons away from Profody, de-
termining to ſend them to another School at York;
but, as my Father recollected there were no pro-
per Companions for me in his Neighbourhood, he
generouſly told them he would undertake the fur-
ther Care of them, together with me, at which
they were highly delighted, and returned him ma-
ny Acknowledgments; and, as they were all fome.
what in Arrear with Profody, they agreed to ride
over together to his Houſe, and finally diſcharge
their Obligations to him.
When they arrived there, the old Pedant, not
knowing we had been before-hand with him, told
ſo many Falſhoods of us, and inveighed againſt
us with ſo much apparent Malice and Reſentment,
that, if they had not been prepoffeffed againſt him
before, it would have given them the ſame Ideas
we had laboured to inſpire them with. They
made little Reply to what he faid, and when he
came to underſtand their Errand, and that we had
got Home, he was quite Thunder-ſtruck, and be-
gan to foften his Manner of Expreſſion, laying the
Tricks we had been guilty of upon Levity and
Puerility, which before he had aſcribed to a natu-
ral Turpitude and Wickedneſs of Heart; but his At-
tempts to reclaim us were all in vain, and they part-
ed with him, leaving him in the higheſt Dilyult and
ill Humour, which was ſenſibly increaſed by a very
C6
grave
36
The Life and Adventures
grave Lecture which was read him by my Father,
upon the right Conduct of the Office of a School-
maſter, and the Baſeneſs of Avarice and Revenge.
A Servant that attended them brought us our Books,
and what wearing Apparel we had left behind us
in our precipitate Retreat.
c H A P. VI.
His Father's Manner of Education.-Sharpley
is ſent to Sea, and Archer to Oporto.---Pro-
per Reflections.—Takes great Delight in
Hunting, and gains the Friendſhip of Sir
Walter Rich, by a generous Aflion.--His
Father determines to ſend hiin to London.
AF
FTER we had been indulged fome Days in
ſuch Amuſements as were ſuitable to our
Years, my Father applied himſelf to the further
Cultivation of our Underſtandings. We had all
made pretty near the ſame Progreſs, and were, at
ſo green an Age, tolerable Maſters of Greek and
Latin: And, as we were intended for the World,
he endeavoured to give us the moſt ſtrong Ideas of
Religion and Morality; which, being conveyed in
the moſt captivating Manner to our Minds, funk
deep into our Souls; and were the more ſtrength-
ened by the excellent Pattern we ſaw daily before
us, ,
of Joe THOMPSON.
37
NA
us, in my Father and Mother, who uſed my Com-
panions as well as myſelf, like their own Children,
We foon became Proficients in the moſt uſeful
Branches of the Mathematics; and Natural Phi-
lofophy was rendered fo entertaining to us, and
diſcovered ſuch a Field of Wonders, that we for-
got all our trifling Sports, and that alone conſti-
tuted the Employment of our leiſure Hours. He
taught us the French Language, which is ſo generally
ſpoken all over the World; and, my Mother talk-
ing it very well, we converſed hardly in any other
Tongue. To preſerve our Healths we were per-
mitted to have a Fencing-Maſter twice a Week,
who alſo was directed to form us to a polite Ad-
dreſs, without making Dancing ſo important
a Part of Education, as it generally ſeems
to be reckoned. We had the Happineſs to make
great Improvement in every Thing we were put
to; and, my Father, forſaking almoſt all other Com-
pany, became our conſtant Companion; and his
honied Precepts met with ſuch eager Attention,
that we became the Wonder, and, at the ſame
Time, the Delight of the adjacent Country.
Happy Period of Life! when the boiling Paſſions,
the Attendants of Human Nature, are kept under
the Reſtraints of Reaſon and Authority; when Care
and Anxiety is never tafted, and the genuine Chear-
fulneſs of the Heart is undeprefied by the hurrying
Toils and torturing Viciſſitudes of Life. With
}
!
i
what
38
The Life and Adventures
what Regret I look back and ſurvey the engaging
Scenes which Riches and Splendor can never re-
compenſe the Loſs of! Ye Hours of golden In-
ſtruction ! ye Moments of pure Content, and un-
tainted Pleaſure ! how dearly ought we to prize
you ! and how little are we acquainted with your
true Value and Eſtimation ! Hurrying into the tem-
peſtuous Occan of buſy, advancing Years, we foon
are loſt to your ineffable Sweets; the Mind grows
foul and muddy with Croſſes and Vexations; and
over-bearing Folly, and growing Vices, turmoil
the reſt of our mortal Pilgrimage. Well has Pro-
vidence allotted a few Years of Youth and Inno-
cence to our Share : Had we been doomed to fur-
vey
and feel, at once, the Load of Ills we are born
to, without this bliſsful Pauſe of Misfortune and
Anguiſh, who could ſupport the ſhocking State of
Exiſtence? And yet, how wifely Providence does
ſtimulate and excite us to launch out into maturer
A&tion, and all the fancied Joys, and real Sorrows,
that at every advancing Step ſurround us ; but by
the Inſtability and Vanity of the former, and the
conſtant Attendance of the latter, ſpur us ſtill to
explore new Regions of exſtatic Calm, and eternal
Content, which it has reſerved for thoſe who wor-
thily attain to the Period of their Race, the Goal
of their Purſuits.
We bad paſſed near two Years in this Situation,
at my Father's, when Mr. Sharpley, who had
other
of JOE THOMPSON.
30
other Children, and but a ſmall Eftate, determined
to ſend his Son to Sea, under a Brother who com-
manded a Man of War, and accordingly procured
him the King's Letter ; and, to rob me of both
my dear Companions, Mr. Archer, about the ſame
Time, fent his Son to Oporto, to a diſtant Rela-
tion, who was a conſiderable Merchant there, to
be placed in his Compting Houſe. As we had
lived in the greateſt Harmony, we could not part
without the higheſt Tokens of Sorrow, and took
our Leave of each other, after Proteſtations of
eternal Friendſhip, and Reſolutions of renewing our
Familiarity, whenever it ſhould be in our Power,
My Father and Mother were affected with the Loſs
of them, and he could not be prevailed on to ac-
cept of the leaſt Confideration for the agreeable
Pains he had beſtowed upon them: the Fruits of
which were very viſible in their Converſation and
Behaviour, and gave the utmoft Satisfaction to
their Parents. To fhew their Gratitude, they
begged my Father to let me ſpend ſome Months at
their Houſe, which they deſired ſo preſſingly, that
he could not refuſe them : and accordingly I went
Home with them, both living in the ſame Part of
the Country, between five and fix Miles from our
Houſe. I was now in my fixteenth Year, and
was dartered with the Appellation of a polite and
intelligent young Gentleman; my Stature was fu.
perior to moſt of my Age, and Nature had be-
Itowed
40
The Life and Adventures
ſtowed on me a great Share of Health and Spirits,
and a very agreeable Perſon ; ſo that my Company
was very much prized by the Fathers of my
Friends, and I made one in all their Parties of
Hunting, of which they were both very fond, and
became a very keen ſportſman, deſpiſing every
Danger and Difficulty in the Chace; by which I
acquired the Applauſe of a Baronet, whoſe Seat
was in that Neighbourhood, who had the higheſt
Regard for Talents of that Sort, and thought no
Man worth a Ruſh that could not ſurmount every
Obſtacle in Purſuit of the Fox or the Hare. He
had a very large Eſtate, which, as he was a Wi-
dower, and ſhewed no Inclination to a ſecond
Marriage, muſt of courſe deſcend to an only
Daughter, then in the thirteenth Year of her Age;
fo that Miſs Louiſa Rich was reckoned the richeſt
Heireſs in all thoſe Parts. Sir Walter was one of
thoſe Roman Catholic Gentry, who are contented
to receive their Opinions, becauſe their Fathers
had poffeffed them before ; but was far from indulga
ing a perſecuting Spirit, or Maxims deſtructive
of the Conſtitution, and was, in general, much
eſteemed by his Neighbours, and loved by his Teo
nants of every Perſuaſion.
This Gentleman was never eaſy when I was
not with him, and expreſſed, on every Occaſion,
the greateſt Regard for me; introduced me to his
Daughter, and to a Nephew, who lived with him,
about
of JOE THOMPSON. 41
about my own Age, and who was ſaid, by moſt
People, to be intended as an Huſband for Miſs, by
her Father. If I was charmed with the Converſa.
tion of this innocent young Lady, who already
diſcovered the Beauties of an angelic Mind, in a
lovely Perſon, I was no leſs diſguſted with the ſurly,
brutal Behaviour of her Couſin, who was a mere
country Booby. I enjoyed my Time in this
friendly Excurſion, very deliciouſly ; and every
now and then went over, and paid a Viſit at Home,
the Tenderneſs of my Mother ſcarce brooking ſuch
an Abſence from her without it.
We
e were pretty late engaged in a Converſation
one Evening at Mr. Archer's, when a Servant came
in, with the melancholy Tidings, that Sir IValter's
Houſe was on Fire; which alarmed the Company,
and immediately put an End to our Argument;
and we ran, with great Haſte, to ſee if our Aflift-
ance might be of any Service, in ſuch a dreadful Ca.
lamity. The lower Part of the Building was enve.
loped in Flames, which were aſcending very ſwiftly,
and ſpreading with dreadful Fury ; Sir Walter was
lying on the Ground, having ſprained his Foot, by
jumping froin his Chamber-window; and the di-
ftracted Domeſtics were buſy in removing ſuch
Goods as their Surpriſe would permit them to take
away at the firſt Alarm : But the moſt ſhocking
Sight of all was, the young Lady calling out of
the Window of her Apartment for Affittance, in
the
42
The Life and Adventures
the utmoſt Diſtraction, having only a looſe GowiT
caſt over her. Her Father was unable to move ;
the Clodpoles about him were too fearful, or
ſtupid, to adventure to her Relief; and the Nephew
had ſecured himſelf in an adjoining Alehouſe, where
he was drinking with ſome country Folks, and
telling them with what Difficulty he eſcaped the
Flames. In this Confuſion the poor young Lady
would, no doubt, have undergone the Fate of the
Building, had not Mr. Archer, and myſelf, thought
of a long Ladder, which ſtood at a Farmer's hard
by, which with ſome Aſiſtance, we reared againſt
the side of the Houſe: This no ſooner was done,
than I mounted valiantly up it, having totally for-
got my own Safety, in the Contemplation of Miſs's
Danger. After being ſomewbat ſcorched in my
Aſcent, I gained the Window, and directly jumped
in, when immediately taking her in my Arms,
and charging her to hold faſt, I reſolutely deſcend-
cd the Way I came up, and delivered her into the
Hands of her father, where ſhe immediately fainted
away; and the Hurry of my Spirits, and the Fright
I had undergone, fo weakened me, that I alſo fell
down ſenſeleſs at his Feet. I ſoon recovered my-
ſelf, and, after drinking a Cordial, which was
brought me, enquired how my Charge did ;
and was anſwered, That ſhe was carried away,
very ill, to Mr. Sharpley's. The Baronet took me
into his Arms, called me his Preſerver and Saviour,
and
of Joe THOMPSON.
43
Y
+
my Heart
and vowed he would never forget my Bravery, the
longeſt Day he had to live : In ſhort, I received
fuch a Profuſion of Compliments on every Side, that
I could not conceal my Bluſhes. I went afterwards
to pay a Viſit to Miſs, and found her better ; and,
tho'
was too young ever to have known
or felt the ſoft Impreſſions of Love, I perceived a
wonderous Satisfaction in her Thanks, and thought
myſelf happy in having thus rendered her this trifling
Service. The Houſe was reduced to Aſhes; and
we underſtood the Fire had been occaſioned by
the Careleſſneſs of a drunken Cook, who went to
sleep with a Candle burning upon the Dreſſer ;
which, unlıappily having caught hold of ſome Lin-
nen, had ſpread the Flames, before the Family had
been alarmed, or any Help could be procured. After
this Accident, the Attachment of Sir Walter to me,
and the Civilities I received from his Daughter,
were unbounded; he ſtudied, on every Occaſion,
to ſhew me the utmoſt Reſpect, and was ſcarce ever
a Minute eaſy, unleſs I made one of his Company;
directing Miſs, in Token of Gratitude, to inſiſt up-
on my accepting a Diamond Ring, which ſhe took
off her own Finger, to place upon mine. I could
not refuſe lo genteel and ſo valuable a Preſent,
which, in an involuntary Rapture, which I then
was far from underſtanding the Motives of, I ſo-
lemnly vowed never to part with.
In
1
3
44 The Life and Adventures
In two Months after this Incident, I received Or-
ders from my Father to return Home; and he
told me in the Letter, that he had determined to
fend me to London, if it was not contrary to my
Inclinations, and wanted to talk with me about
it. I took Leave of all my Friends, after return-.
ing Thanks for the great Honours and Civilities I
had received ; and was accompanied by Mr. Ar-
cher to my Father's.
CH A P. VII.
Excellent Diſcourſe of his father to him. --
He receives Letters from Sharpley and Ar-
cher.--Sets out with his father and Mo-
ther for London.- Arrivesthere.-Refleflia
ons on the firſt Vieces of that Place. He is
bound Apprentice to Mr. Diaper, a Whole.
ſale Linnen-draper.
WH
HEN our kind Viſitor was gone, and the
firſt two or three Days after my
Arrival
were paſſed, my Father took me with him into the
Garden, and then unboſomed himſelf to me in the
following Manner : “ I fent for you, my dear
Son, to hear a Scheme I have to propoſe for
your Welfare, as you are now arrived at an
" Age, in which we ſhould begin to confider of
is fome Profeſſion or Employment, that may make
you
of Joe THOMPSON.
45
06
you happy, and a Benefit to the Community.
“ You may perceive, by my not having ſent you
" to the Univerſity, that I did not intend you for
“ the Church : No, my Dear, believe me, the
“ Diſcouragements that attend the ſacred Order,
" and the general Contempt, which many of them
" have given too much Ground for, that they 12-
« bour under, are a ſufficient Bar to any ſuch De-
ſign. Your Diſpoſition might induce me to
“ prefer the Army to any other Deſignation ;
« but without Friends in Power, or an inde-
" pendent Fortune, the greateſt Merit makes a
very poor Figure in Scarlet, and affords very
“ little Happineſs to a Family, if ever a Man's
« ſofter Moments ſhould render Marriage deſirable.
" The Law I cannot approve, as it is now circum-
“ ftanced, and as the generality of the Practitioners
it on; and as to Phyſic, I think it labours
« under the ſame, or greater Diſadvantages, than
“ either. As you know me to be a great Friend
to my Country, and willing, as much as I
can,
" that you ſhould become as uſeful as poſſible to
" it, you will not be ſurpriſed that I have the ute
“ moſt Veneration for Merchants and Traders,
66 who diffuſe the Bleſſings of Commerce and Traf-
“ fic to every Individual, and are the Upholders
“ and Supports of the Intereſt and Independency
“ of this Nation. In all the other Callings I have
mentioned, there is a Degree of Servility and
" Mean-
carry it
46
The Life and Adventures
“ Meanneſs, neceſſary to a Man who would be
" eminent, that I, by no Means, would make ne.
« ceſſary to you. By Trade, you will preſerve a
“ generous Independency, if you act wiſely and
prudently ; and will become a uſeful and va-
66 luable Member of the Commonwealth, and an
“ Advantage to your Friends and Relations ; you
56 will be enabled to provide for your family with
“ Honour, and in a Manner ſuitable to that lauda-
« ble Ambition and Tenderneſs that ought to
" inſpire the Boſom of a Huſband and a Father.
as I am not going to propoſe a Branch of Trade
" that ſhall diſgrace your Endowments, but one
56 wherein you may preſerve the Gentleman in the
« Man of Buſineſs. You know, your Mother
46 has a diſtant Relation in London, Mr. Diaper,
* the Wholeſale Linnen draper, who is a Man of
great Honour, frict Integrity, ard a large For-
6. tune, which he has principally rai'ed by Induſtry
" and Diligence in his Buſineſs. 'Tis to him, if
you are not averſe, for I would never force your
“ Inclinations, fancy what you will, that I would
" put you Apprentice; and therefore confider,
" by To.morrow, that I may write him Word of
my Reſolution ; for he was here ſome Days
“ fince, on his Return from a Journey into Scota
Ei land, and I made him the Offer of you, at
« which he was very well pleaſed.” I returned
him my moſt grateful Thanks, told him I had a
3
Hint
of JOE THOMPSON.
47
Hint of it before from my Mother, and that, as
well from the View of the Advantages of ſuch a
Deſtination, as from a Knowledge that it was agree-
able to his Sentiments, I very readily obeyed bim,
in giving my Aſſent to go to Mr. Diaper. He
was entirely ſatisfied to find me ſo ready to cloſe
with him in it; and wrote to that Gentleman, that
he would ſet out with me in a Fortnight's Time.
Mr. Sharpley paid me a Viſit the next Day, and
brought me two Letters, one from his Son, and ano-
ther from young Mr. Archer, which came each in a
Packet to their Father's. Sharpley's was to this Effect:
I
Loo, off Cape Henry, Virginia, July 7, 1712.
My dear Friend,
Should be inexcuſable, if, whilft I was writing
to England, I did not think of teſtifying thus,
That you are ever in my Mind, and that the
Friendſhip we fo early contracted is rather ſtronger
now, than when I had the pleaſure to be fo near
you. All the Difficulties and Dangers of a long
and tedious Voyage, nor a Variety of new Ob-
jects, have been able to baniſh my Regret at our
Separation. I hope you are in Health, and my
worthy Tutor, and your, I was going to ſay mine,
dear Mother. Pray, my dear Joey, let me hear from
you every Opportunity, and believe me to be
Your moſt affectionate and ſincere Friend,
JOHN SHARPLEY.]
The
48
The Life and Adventures
The other was to this purport.
I
Oporto, Auguſt 20, 1712.
Deareſt Joe,
Take the firſt Opportunity I have to convince
you that I am ſtill as much actuated by Friend-
thip, as ever I was, and that I mall ever retain the
moſt lively Reſpect and Value for a Perſon, who,
for my Life, I can look upon in no other Light than
that of a Brother. I hope you have heard before
now from Sharpley, who I underſtood was bound to
Virginia, where he is likely to have a long Station.
My Duty attends your dear Father and Mother ;
pray let them know I have not forgot, nor ever
ſhall, their Goodneſs and Benevolence to me. I am
well, and can already expreſs myſelf in the Portu-
gueſe Language, well enough to be underſtood in
common Matters. I am immerſed in a great deal
of Buſineſs, but ſhall always, I hope, find Time to
prove myſelf,
Dear Joe,
Your affectionate,
and faithful Friend
THOMAS ARCHER,
Words will too faintly expreſs the Warmth and
Zeal of Friendſhip that theſe Letters inſpired; for,
indeed, my Affection was rather increaſed, than
diminiſhed, by our Separation ; and as they were
to
of JOE THOMPSON. 49
to ſend a Packet to London, to be forwarded both
to Virginia and Portugal, the next Day, I imme-
diately wrote Anſwers to them.
The Fortnight was expired, when my Father
and Mother being determined to go to London with
me; and accordingly, after I had taken my Leave
of all my Friends and Acquaintance, particularly
of Sir Walter and his amiable Daughter, who both
expreſſed great Concern at loſing my Company, we
ſet out, and arrived at that great Metropolis, after
a very eaſy and plealant Journey, which, as my
Father called on ſeveral Friends in the Road, and
endeavoured to make the Travelling as agreeable
as poſſible to my Mother and me, by ſhewing us
every Thing remarkable in our Way, took us up
near a Fortnight.
If I was ſurpriſed at the great Number of Carri-
ages of all sorts, and the Multitude of Travellers and
Paſſengers that crouded the Roads, as we approached
near London, how was I aſtoniſhed at the prodigious
Concourſe of People I diſcovered at my Entrance
into Town? All the Ideas I had formed from my
Knowledge of York, and other Places in the Coun-
try, came far ſhort of what I beheld. My Won-
der increaſed in Proportion as I advanced into the
Heart of the City, and ſurveyed the buſy Herds that
thronged continually through every Street and
Avenue, all with the Marks of Bufineſs and At-
tention painted in their Faces. The Sight gave
VOL.I.
D
me
50
The Life and Adventures
me a prong Notion of the laudable Importance of
Trade, which thus directs and obliges every one in
his Station to be ever vigilant, ever ſtudious to
employ his Time, in ſomewhat or other, tending
to the Service of Individuals, and conſequently be-
neficial to the Community in general. I could ſee
no fuch abſent, unmeaning Viſages as the Country
is filled with, and began to entertain a very con-
temptible Opinion of a Life of Idleneſs, Sports and
Pleaſures, where Self is the Object that engroffes
all our Cares and all our Sollicitudes : Not ſo the
induſtrious Citizen, whoſe Endeavours to benefit
himſelf neceſſarily produce Employment for, and
conduce to the Emolument of Artificers in every
Branch of Work, and he may be ſaid to be one of
thoſe who contribute to the Support of Millions.
Such Refeaions as theſe ftill encouraged me in the
Reſolutions I had taken of becoming one of this
uſeful Body of People.
Mr. Diaper, being a diſtant Relation of my
Mother's, bad inſiſted on their making uſe of the
Convenience of his Houſe, during their Stay in
Town; ſo that this was the Place we went firſt
to, where himſelf and his whole Family vied with
each other in the Civility of our Reception.
My Father, before the Buſineſs he came upon
was concluded, carried us to all the public Places,
and ſhewed us every Thing remarkable in and a-
bout Londo:); for he told me; he could not bear to
leave
of JOE THOMPSON, 51
leave the Edge of my Curioſity too keen, left Imight
fall into improper Company, in Purſuit of my gra-
tifying myſelf with the Sight of theſe Novelties,
after his Departure, and thereby neglect my Buſi-
neſs.
Every Thing being agreed upon between my Pa-
rents and my Maſter, as I muſt now begin to call
him, I was bound Apprentice at --- Hall, of
which Company he was a Liveryman, my Father
paying him a Confideration of Three hundred
Pounds with me; and ſoon after, as he had now
been abſent five Weeks from Home, reſolved to
return; but fuft agreed with a Friend of his to remit
to him thirty Pounds every Year for my Ule, which
I was to conſider as Pocket-money, that, as my
dear Father and Mother faid, I might be above
Temptation to any mean or diſhoneſt Action: To
this Friend he alſo recommended me very ſtrongly
for his Advice and Inſtructions in any Thing that
might occur, during my Apprenticeſhip; and, after
beſtowing upon me a Number of excellent Rules
and Leſſons for my better Conduct in this ticklifia
Part of Life, and giving me their cordial Bleffing,
they ſet out for Yorkſhire, leaving me in a tenderly
mournful Situation; which, as it was the firſt, lo
it was one of the ſincerelt Griefs I ever felt in my
Life
D 2
CHAP
52
The Life and Adventures
CH A P. VIII.
Character of Mr. Diaper, his Wife, and Son.
- Very aſſiduous in kis Buſineſs.- Contracts
a Friendſhip with young Diaper.-Gains the
Eſteem of kis Maſter -- Manner of Spending
their vacant Hours.-- Reflections on Trade
and Commerce,
S ſoon as I was initiated into the Method of
A
our Buſineſs, I was reſolved not to be an unpro-
fitable Servant, and applied myſelf with the ut-
moſt Attention to make myſelf Maſter of what I
imagined muſt be my future Dependence; and I
found all the kind Inſtruction from Mr. Diaper,
that I was taught to expect. He was turned of
forty Years of Age, and having been in Trade all
his Life, ſucceeding his Father in the fame Set of
Cuſtomers, he had, by a thorough Indefatigability,
Application, and Induſtry, got, as it is expreſſed by
the Citizens, the Fore- horſe by the Head ; and not
orly ſo, but, excluſive of his Buſineſs and ready
Money, was poſſeſſed of a pretty Eſtate in Right
of his Wife. His Table was plentifully, not luxu-
ricuſly or extravagantly ſupplied, and a Friend was
fure of always finding a Welcome there. His Oe-
conoiny in the Expences of his family was remark-
ale; but bordered not in the leaſt on that Species
of
of Joe THOMPSON. 53
of Parfimony, which, however Praiſe-worthy, is
never agreeable to Servants. His Temper was mild
and fociable, and his Underſtanding clear and ſtrong,
to his Superiors he behaved with a reſpectful Re-
gard ; to his Equals with a generous and manly
Freedom; to his Inferiors and Servants with Hu-
manity, Conſideration, and Good-nature: His Up-
rightneſs, Integrity, and Honour in his Dealings,
gained him the Confidence of every body he dealt
with, and the good Senſe and Knowledge he was
endowed with, rendered him a deſirable and im-
proving Companion. Mrs. Diaper was a Woman
of Virtue, Prudence, and Capacity, and the utmoſt
Harmony was viſible in their Behaviour to each o-
ther; oor was his Value leſlened, but rather in-
creaſed by a bad and declining State of Health,
which obliged her to be pretty much at their Coun-
try-houſe, where himſelf generally ſpent half the
Week. They had only one Child, who had now
ſerved three Years of his Apprenticeſhip to his Fa-
ther, and on whom, as he was a ſober, faithful, and
careful Youth, the Weight of the Buſineſs was devol-
ved, tho' at the early Age of Nineteen. Notwith-
ſtanding this young Gentleman had been early fa-
miliariſed to the Management of ſuch important
Concerns, he had made a very pretty Advance in
Letters, and, having read and digeſted ſome of the
beft Authors, he ſurpaſſed, in the Faculties of his
Mind, moſt of his Age. Tho' he had none of the
irres
D 3
54
Tbe Life and Adventures
irregular Flights and Sallies of Youth, and his
whole Soul ſeemed to be bent to the Exerciſe of the
neceſſary Duties of his Buſineſs, in which he was
very expert ; yet he was quite polite and agreeable
in his Converſation, i:or did the orderly Manage-
inent of his Conduct take off from the Taſte of ina
nocent and laudable Amuſements, which he was a
great Friend to. His honeft, undeſigning, and gene-
rous Heart was capable of a warm and diſintereſted
Friendſhip, and his Behaviour and Addreſs made bim
the Deſire and Delight of every Company. My Edu-
cation and Manner of Thinking made this worthy
Family very pleaſing to me, and I had all the Rea-
fon in the World to be ſatisfied with my Situation.
My Maſter treated me like another Son, and the
young Gentleman and myſelf, becoming Bed-
fellows, entered into ſtrict Friendſhip, which was
increaſed daily by a Conformity of Sentiments and
Actions :
'Twas Sympathy of honeſt Minds
Like Strings wound up in Muſic,
Where, at one Touch, both utter the fame Harmony,
In our Buſinefs we went Hand in Hand; he ever
ſtudied therein to make his Superiority eaſy to me,
and I to make my Reſpect and Diligence agree-
able to him. In our Diverſions, we were con-
ftant Affociates, and, in ſhort, a more ſuitable
Pair
of joe THOMPSON.
55
?
1
Pair were never directed to ſet out in Life toge-
ther.
Our Dealings, which were very extenfive, were
carried on in a truly mercantile Manner, and, Mr.
Diaper having a very faithful Journeyman, his Son
and myſelf were principally employed in the Compt-
ing houſe. However, as my whole Study was to
pleaſe my Maſter, I pretended to no Exemption from
any Pains or Labour in the other parts of his Affairs,
being thoroughly ſenſible that every Thing, that
tended to the Promotion of his Intereſt or Advan-
tage, ought to be conſidered by me as my Duty, in
the Station I was at preſent placed in. There-
fore I never waited to receive Orders or Inſtructi-
ons, when any Thing was on the Carpet that re-
quired my Alliance ; but ſtudied, in every Thing,
to be beforehand with either his Defires or Expecta-
tions. By this Method of acting, and preſerving
an obliging and even Deportment to every body in
the Family, I procured ſo much the Eſteem and
Confidence of my Maſter, that he was extraordi-
marily ready to impart to me every Secret of his
Traffic and Concerns ; to puſh me forward in
the Acquirement of my Occupation, and, in any
Point of Indulgence, even prevented my Wiſhes.
When the Hurry of the Day was over, we ſpent
the Evening at Home, in Converſation or Reading,
and now and then had a felect Company of Friends
with us ; or elſe we ſought out ſome Amuſement
abroad,
D 4
56
The Life and Adventures
abroad, that would at the ſame Time divert and
improve us; and in all Things young Mr. Diaper
and myſelf were inſeparable.
At the Cloſe of the Week, we generally rode
down to my Maſter's Houſe in the Country, and
taid till Monday Morning, where Mrs. Diaper
made no Manner of Diſtinction between us, and on
every Occaſion expreffed her Liking to me, and her
Approbation of the ſtrict Union between myſelf and
her Son. My Maſter kept a Coach and Pair, and a
Brace of Geldings, one of which was always at my
Service; ſo that I experienced very little Difference
between my happy Servitude and the Indulgences
I had been uſed to receive from my Father and
Mother at Home.
Our various Correſpondences and large Dealings
fill opened more clearly the Importance and Dige
sity of Trade to me, which not only bound toge-
ther, and fo mutually united the Intereſts of Man-
kind, as to Individuals; but became the Cement
between Country and Country, and introduced a
Dependence upon the Principles of Honour, Juſtice,
Uprightneſs, and Punctuality, all over the World ;
thoſe Principles being the very Foundation of ſich
an Intercourſe, and without which no Man can
poſſibly carry on a Correſpondence in any kind of
Traffic. All wiſe Princes, who have had the
Good of their Subjects at Heart, have conſtantly
nouriſhed and given the greateſt Encouragement
to
I
of JOE THOMPSON. 57
to the Arts of Commerce ; they have not only con-
ſidered them, as they were ſure Means to increaſe
the Riches of their Subjects and their own Reve-
nues, but as they made their People wiſer and
better, and conſequently more worthy of and faith-
ful to their Governors. An idle and debauched
People will ever be the Averſion and the Plague of
a diſcerning, and generous, and good Prince.
I paſſed in this Manner the firſt two Years of my
Time with much Satisfaction and Improvement to
myſelf, and engaged the Kindneſs and Applauſe of
my Maſter (who took Opportunities to give my
Father and Mother great pleaſure in the Knowledge
of my Behaviour) the Love of my Friend, and the
Reſpect of my Fellow. ſervants. Happy ſhould I
have been, if the ſucceeding Years of my Life had
all been paſſed over with the fame Innocence, Vir-
tue, and Prudence, which would have ſecured me
from the Miſeries and Diſtreffes I afterwards fuf-
fered.
D 5
СНАР,
58
The Life and Adventures
CHAP. IX.
He is ſurpriſed by the Carriage of a Maid-
Servant.--Her extraordinary Affduity to
oblige him. --She betrays her Love for him.
-His Efforts to cure her.-He is ſeduced by
her.-His Uneaſineſs thereon.-She becomes
troubleſome to him, and jealous.-Cautions
to Youth.-He grow's cold to bis Friend.
Seeks Company. -Becomes acquainted with
Prim the Mercer, and Prig the Attorney.
THU
HUS happily I ſpent my Time, practiſing
all the excellent Precepts of my Father, and
never deviating from the Principles of Virtue and
Honour ; eaſy and content, carefled and eſteemed
by every body. I generally wrote once a Month to
my Father or Mother, and had with great pleaſure
kept up a Correſpondence with my two old Friends,
Sharpley and Archer, the former of whom, I under-
ſtood by the laſt Letter I received, had been rated
already as a Midſhipman by his Uncle.
At our Townhouſe, Mr. Diaper kept two Maid-
Servants, one of whom was a young Girl, the
Daughter of a Farmer in Cambridgeſhire, who was
an agreeable Creature, and poffefled a good Share
of Spirit and Vivacity. The Light I was conſider-
ed in by the Family, made the Servants very affidu-
QUS
of JOE THOMPSON. 59
ous in doing every Thing they imagined would
oblige me ; but I had perceived, for a conſiderable
Time, that this young Woman was more ſtudious
than ordinary, in doing ſuch little Matters for me
as were neceſſary to one in my Station : I had
therefore been very generous to her on ſeveral Oc-
caſions, to reward her for her obliging Temper,
not apprehending it to be from any other Motive
than that of her natural Inclination; and from a
Senſe of the Good-nature I always ſhewed to the
inferior Servants; but I was ſoon forced to change
my Way of Thinking. I had frequently caught
her gazing at me with more than ordinary Earneft-
neſs, and, if I happened to look ſuddenly that Way',.,
ſhe would caſt her Eyes downward, bluſh, and I
heard a Sigh now and then eſcape her; if I went
into my Chamber on any Occaſion, I generally
found her fitting there, whence ſhe would retire on:
my Approach, dropping a low Courteſy : I thought
I now and then could perceive Tears in her Eyes,
and the whole family took Notice her Temper
was very much altered, from that Briſkneſs uſual to
her, into a ſettled Heavineſs and Melancholy. As
I had converſed hitherto very little with the Sex, I
was not at all apprehenſive of the true Motives of
this Change, and therefore out of Compaſſion, as
imagining ſhe had heard of ſome Misfortunes from
Home, endeavoured by Pleaſantry and good Hu--
mour to ſet her to Rights again; and, as ſhe was a
D 6
Favourite
J
?
бо The Life and Adventures
Favourite of Mrs. Diaper's, her young Maſter
took the ſame Pains, and often rallied her upon the
little Abſence of Mind ſhe was guilty of. One
Day, in particular, having caught her all Tears
in our Chamber, where I accidentally went for
fome Thing or other, I aſked her ſeriouſly, if any
Ill had happened to her, or, in ſhort, if I cou'd any
ways be of Service to her: Perhaps, ſays I, jo-
coſely, you have received ſome bad News of your
Sweetheart ; but prithee, Nanny, don't fret thyſelf
to Death about it; what, I ſuppoſe he is falſe, is
not be? She immediately got up, and, cafting a
tender Look at me, paſſed ſuddenly out at the Door,
ſaying, Ah! Mr. Thompſon, if I have any Sweet-
heart, he is not far from this Spot, ſo much the
worſe Luck for me. I was immediately ſtruck
with the true State of the Caſe, and, though very
artleſs and ftupid in ſuch Matters, perceived that I
had been the Cauſe of all this ſudden Alteration. In
the firſt Motions of my Heart, I felt fome Pleaſure
in the Thought of this Conqueſt, I muſt freely own;
the Girl was young and handſome, and that was a
dangerous Temptation to a young Fellow of my
ſanguine and warm Conſtitution ; but ſoon the
Checks of Reaſon and Morality got the better in
my Mind, and I was reſolved to behave to her in
a more diftant and cautious Manner; for as it was
impoſſible and contrary to the Ambition of my
Temper, and the Maxims of Prudence and Duty,
of Joe THOMPSON. 61
to indulge a Fancy for her in a laudable Way, the
expofing myſelf to Diſgrace, and her to Ruin, was
a Thought too horrid to harbour in a Soul that had
been nurtured in a Deteſtation of the ſordid and
bare Gratifications of the Paſſions. I ſeldom went
into the Houſe but at Meal-times, after this, or
when my young Maſter accompanied me; and for .
bore either to ſpeak to, or look upon her, hoping
that this might induce her to come to a proper
Way of Thinking ; but I foon found this was a
Diſtemper that was not to be cured ſo ſuddenly :
In Proportion as I retreated, the grew more and
more inflamed, and put herſelf in my Way where-
ever I went; would make twenty Excuſes in a
Day to aik for ſomewhat, or ſome Queſtion in the
Shop or Compting-houſe; and, as an Example of
the dangerous and faſcinating Wiles of Women, I
myſelf grew uneaſy, was reſtleſs, new and unuſual
Deſires agitated my Breaſt, I began to burn for I
knew not what, and it was with the utmoſt Force
I reſtrained myſelf, when an unlucky Opportunity
foon betrayed all my Reſolves. The other Maid
was one Day ordered with a Meſſage in the Coun-
try, and unfortunately my Friend was engaged to dine
Abroad, which he feldom did ; ſo that I was forced
to eat by myſelf, and nobody was there to wait on
me but Mrs. Anne : The Journeyman was alſo at
my Maſter's Country-houſe, where he had been
invited to ſpend a Day or two. When I went up
A
62 The Life and Adventures
to Dinner, I perceived at once that ſhe was dreſſed
with more than ordinary Care, and the behaved with
fo much ready Obligingneſs, that it was impoſſible
for me not to fall into ſome Diſcourſe with her ;
in ſhort, Temptation and Opportunity were ſuch
forceable Batteries againſt my better Reſolutions,
that a Thouſand wanton Ideas ruſhed into my
Brain, and ſpread their baneful Influence over my
whole Frame; fhe perceived my Situation, and
improved it by all the Arts ſhe was Miſtreſs of;
Nature, too weak to aflift my Reaſon, ſhe triumph-
ed in the Spoils'of my Innocence, and, emboldened
by the firſt Treſpaſs, the guilty Bliſs was too often
repeated, before I could perſuade myſelf to retire.
When I got by myſelf, I foon was tempted to de-
plore my Change of Condition ; I accuſed myſelf of
what I had been guilty of, with the utmoſt Shame
and Confuſion; I now found myſelf ruffled, un--
eaſy and reſtleſs : Before, the Goodneſs and the
Untaintedneſs of my Heart ſhewed itſelf in all my
Actions, now I could ſcarce bear the pain of Re--
Alection, and dreaded to look even my virtuous-
Friend in the Face; the Crime itſelf, the Appre-
henfion of the Conſequences, the Fear of my own
Reputation, the Injury I had done to an innocent
Creature, as I thought her, by thus being ſeduced
to indulge her. Weakneſs, altogether made my
Boſom a perfect Hell : I began to form Schemes
of concealing the fatal Intercourſe, and found, a-
las !
of JOE THOMPSON.
63
las ! for the firſt Time, that I muſt learn to be a
Hypocrite, to pretend that Innocence, which
was now no more : The Thought of thus living
a Lye * gave me ftill more inexpreſſible Tor-
ture. I reſolved to renew the Guilt no more, and
then immediately forfeited my Reſolution; nor was
my Anxiety confined to my own Refleclions;. I met
with Reproaches from her, and Bewailings of what
would become of her; I was obliged to truckle to
her Temper, to keep Things eaſy; ſhe perceives
herſelf with Child, renews her Complaints, I pro-
miſe Fidelity ; The grows jealous, watches my Ac-
tions, upbraids me, weeps, fwoons away: I gra-
tify her with Money, ſooth her, and, in ſhort, be-
come a very Wretch and mere Slave.
Ye Youths, beware how ye yield to the firſt At--
tacks of Vice ; how cautious ought you to be to
guard againſt the firſt Allurement, the beginning
Witchcraft; let it attack you in what Shape it will, ,
it is equally deſtructive, equally perverſive of your
future Good, equally conducive to extirpate the
Reliſh of Virtue from your Minds; but, above all,
beware of it, when it approaches you under the
ſoft, the too enchanting, too captivating Charms
of female deluſive Arts ? It is then ye ought to put
forth your utmoſt Strength, 'work every Nerve, to
reſiſt the ſubtle Invader ! Peace and Serenity of
Mind once deſtroyed, the Conſequence is dread-
ful;
* Woollaftos.
:
64
The Life and Adventures
ful ; feldom we have the Power to retreat, but hurry
on to bury, in a Wild of Folly and Intemperance,
the little Reflection, and the woeful Regrets, that
will ſtill continue to haunt our Souls.
The Reliſh I uſed to have for the Company of
young Mr. Diaper was palled, I had a ſecret Kind
of Envy of his ſuperior Virtue ; he perceived my
Alteration, but I aſcribed it to the Head-ach, Low-
neſs of Spirits, and other Cauſes; Buſineſs languiſh-
ed with me, Home was uneaſy to me, where I
met with nothing but Reproaches from myſelf, and
Upbraidings from the Authoreſs of my Miſery,
The delicate and fine Sentiments I had imbibed,
and the Turn of my Mind, which was of a ge
nuine pure Caſt, now gave me repeated Vexations,
never-ending Reproaches : I ſought to bury my
Diſquiets in Company; the Minute the Hours of
Buſineſs were over, I was no more to be ſeen, but,
aſſorting myſelf with ſome of the neighbouring Ap-
prentices of my own Age, whoſe Company I be-
fore had deſpiſed, endeavoured by Wine and
Mirth to drown and ſilence my Regrets. The
Two whom I was moſt frequently engaged with
were Will Prim, a Mercer's Apprentice, who had
ferved half his Time, and Dick Prig, an Attor-
ney's Clerk, whoſe Servitude was juſt expired;
As theſe young Fellows were of a lively, gay,
thoughtleſs Diſpoſition, and their Converſation was
full of Humour, I ſuffered myſelf to ſpend whole
Even-
of Joe THOMPSON.
65
Evenings in their Company, in a Sort of Club or
Society, which met at thoſe Times, to unbend them-
ſelves after the Fatigues of the Day.
CH A P. X.
Account of his new Aſociates. He is diſguſted
with their Manners and Behaviour. ---Be-
comes acquainted with Mr. Speculift.--He
imbibes his Principles.-Turns Rake - Re-
moves bis Miſtreſs to ready furniſhed Lodg-
ing's, where ſhe is brought to Bed.
MR.
R. Prim was a young Man of a good Share
of natural Senſe, which he had woefully
perverted, and a tolerable Education, by practiſing
all the reigning Follies; but he retained an un-
uſual Flow of Expreſſion, which was very en-
gaging. Prig was of a more reſerved Diſpoſition,
and had preſerved hitherto the Appearance of Vir-
tue, by the deepeſt Hypocriſy and Diffimulation;
he had been bred up to Learning, in which he had
made confiderable Improvement, and manifeſted
his Talents at Diſputation and Controverſy, with
great Applaufe.
The reſt of our Company conſiſted of Journey.
men and Apprentices, all in the ſame Neighbour-
hood, whoſe Characters and Capacities were as va.
rious
66 The Life and Adventures
rious as their Profeflions. Nothing could better evi-
dence the beginning Depravity of my Mind, than
the Pleaſure I took in theſe Meetings; and what
I at firſt had Recourſe to, to chace away diſa .
greeable Reflections on my late Miſcarriage, was
almoſt become ſo habitual, that I longed till Buſi-
neſs was finiſhed, that I might Ay to my new Com-
panions. The Converſation, however, foon grew
diftaſteful to me, generally rolling upon the Secrets
of their Maſters, the Tricks praaiſed in Trade,
Sarcaſms upon the Behaviour of the Perſons they
lived with, and Deſcriptions of Scenes of Madneſs
and Debauchery; and, when the Diſcourſe grew
dull, it was the Cuſtom to fing a Song round. I
had never been uſed to any, but ſuch Converſe as
improved and left a pleaſing Reliſh upon the Mind;
and I was not yet ſo loſt to myſelf, as not to per-
ceive the groſs Folly of ſpending Time in ſo empty
and frothy a Manner; beſties, I perceived by the
Run of the Diſcourſe, that moſt of my Compani-
ons were the worſt of Men, and that they were not
alhamed to boaſt and vaunt of ſuch Actions as I
could not, even now, reflect on without Horror.
I became conſequently very dull and melancholy,
which was fuon perceived, and the Cauſe gueſſed
at by Prig, who often propoſed to advance fome
ferious Topic of Diſcourſe; and blamed the reſt
for employing their Time, and the Time of the
Cumpany, ſo much in talking of 'Trifles, or Wick-
edneſs,
of JOE THOMPSON.
67
edneſs, which he ſaid was worſe. I was too good
a Bait to be loſt ſo foon; I had Money enough, and
was very generous, and my two new Friends had
ſupplied their wants two or three Times at my
Expence, which they did with the moſt careleſs and
jantee Air imaginable, always promiſing an imme-
diate Return, which however was never again
thought of. I was juſt in the Humour of leaving
them one Night for ever, when a young Gentle-
man came into the Room, at whoſe Appearance
they all exprefled the utmoſt Satisfaction, and ſa-
luted him familiarly, by the Name of Harry Spe-
culift; bis Deportment ſpoke ſomewhat fo modeft
and ſo genteel, that I conſtrained myſelf and fit
down again in my Place; after the uſual Salutations,
I was preſented to him as a Gentleman deſerving
his Acquaintance, and I could overhear Prig tel-
ling him that I was a clever young Fellow, a
Scholar, and a Man of Senſe. The Converſation
then became general, till the New-comer reproved
one of the Company for Swearing, which gave me
a great deal of Pleaſure: He then barangued upon
the odious, unprofitable, and vulgar Nature of that
uſeleſs Vice, in ſo pretty and fo polite a Manner,
that I was quite inamoured with him, and parted
that Evening, after we had mutually requeſted the
Pleaſure of each other's Company the next Night;
when, according to Agreement, we met, and hap-
pened to be near half an Hour together before the
ret
68 The Life and Adventures
reſt came. After ſome curſory Compliments, he told
me, that he obſerved laſt Night that I did not ſeem
much pleafed with the Company; and really, " ſays
“ he, I muſt agree with you, that the Converſa-
« tion amongſt them is much beneath the Dignity
“ of a Man of Senſe and Reflection, or a national
“ Creature : I have abſented myſelf frequently on
“ that Account; but, as I know my Company
“ is eſteemed by them, my Benevolence to my
" Fellow.creatures will not ſuffer me to abſtain
“ from my Viſits altogether; and I the rather
" come now and then, as perhaps I may be lucky
enough to drop ſomewhat or other, that may
« benefit them, and engage them to forſake ſome
“ Follies that I fear they are not a little guilty of.”
I commended his Diſpoſition, which appeared to
me perfectly amiable, and we were entering into a
very entertaining Converſation, when Mr. Prige
and two or three more entered the Room. The
Converſation then became general, and at length
produced a Diſpute between Mr. Speculift and Prig
upon the moral Fitneſs of Things; in which I diſ-
covered either of them was far from being an Ad-
vocate for Revealed Religion. However, what
Speculiſt ſaid, was modeſt and ſpoke with Candour
and a Shew of Impartialily. I ſoon became very
intimate with this Perſon, who ſeemed to behave
irreproachably, and underſtood he had been deſign-
ed for the Church; but, a Fortune of 200l. per An-
num
of JOE THOMPSON.
69
num coming to him by the Death of an Uncle, he
choſe to live unincumbered by the Duties of any
particular Profeſſion. In Proportion as this Inti-
inacy increaſed, I diſcovered new Matter for
Reſpect in my new Acquaintance, who now
engroffed rather too much of my Time; he
had a large Share of Knowledge, and the moſt
taking Manner of Expreſſion and Addreſs that I
ever met with; but it would have been happy for
me, had I never known him ; his Principles were
deteſtable, and, tho’ he covered his Failings with
great Art, yet I found, in ſome Time, that he was
much addicted to very coarſe Gratifications of
his Senſes, and that his Devotion to Women was
exceffive. In ſhort, the unſettled and anxious
State of iny already tainted Mind gave me up a
Prey to his Maxims and Principles, and I ſoon be-
gan to ſee Difficulties in the Sacred Writings, and
Abſurdities, as I fooliſhly imagined, that tottered
my Faith to the very Foundation. I began to think
our Paſſions were given us to be gratified, and
ſo long as Scandal could be avoided, which was
the whole that conſtituted the Crime, I mighc
indulge in the moſt guilty Exceffes: Actions, we a-
greed mutually, were no otherwiſe good or bad
than as they promoted or interfered with the Hap-
pineſs of the Community, and that all Ceremo-
nies or Modes of Worſhip were empty and ridicu-
Hous; and thus, in a few Months, I was involved in
guilty
70
The Life and Adventures
i
guilty Courſes, and a few fallacious Arguments,
that too much fattered my preſent Temper, over-
turned what the Wiſdom and Goodneſs of
my
Father had been erecting in my Soul for Years.
This, however, is certain, that I had been ſecure
from all the Arts of Speculiſ, whoſe Arguments,
in my more ſober Moments, appeared very Cob-
webs to me, had I not been previoully guilty of a
Crime that had unbinged and unſettled my Temper,
and untuned my Mind for the Practice of any good
Precepts.
By this Time Nanny began to fhew her Preg-
nancy; and, as ſhe had preſerved a tolerable Ap-
pearance of Reſpect for ſome Time paſt, I agreed to
a Requeſt ſhe made me, to provide her a Lodging,
and give her ſome Support, for the further Gratifi.
cation of my unlawful Appetites: Accordingly, pre-
tending ſhe had received a Letter, that her Father
was very bad, and requefted her to come into the
Country, the obtained her Diſcharge from our
good Miſtreſs, who parted with her, as did all the
reſt of the Family, without the leaſt apparent sur
picion of what had happened; and I ſaw her to
an Apartment I had provided in the Skirts of the
Town, ſupplying her with what Money was ne-
ceſſary in her preſent Condition. I generally vi-
fited her every Evening, and renewed now, without
much Compunction, that Intercourſe that had
brought me thus into ſo diſmal a Situation. At the
Diſtance
of JOE THOMPSON.
71
f
Diſtance of three Months after her Removal, ſhe
was delivered of a Son, which happily died in the
Month: And now I more than ever herded with
Prim and his Companions, often ſtaying out late,
and frequently not returning Home all Night, which
induced great Expences; and, together with thoſe
of iny Miſtreſs, reduced me to very great Straits :
"Young Mr. Diaper, tho' he carried a Face of more
Gravity and Concern (han ordinary, took no Man-
ner of Notice of the Difference of my Conduct,
but, in every Thing, had hitherto behaved with
his uſual Friendſhip and Kindneſs, which I was
far from deſerving, being become a moſt notorious
Rake and Debauchee.
1
C H A P. XI.
His Extravagancy perceived by his Father's
Friend, to whoin he was intruſted.--He ad-
viſes himn. - He grouss quite neglexiful of his
Buſineſs.—Tender Diſcourſe between him and
young Diaper.--Extravagancy of bis Miſs.
Quarrels with her.- Diſcovers ber 1nfi-
delity. ----Parts with her.--Receives a Let-
ter from his Father.
M
Y frequent Demands upon Mr. Deacon, the
Gentleman to whom my Father had recom-
mended me, and intrufted with the Payment of my
Allowance,
I
72
The Life and Adventures
Allowance, and who had behaved with the greateſt
Reſpect and conſideration imaginable, ever ſince
his Departure, made him very ſuſpicious that my
Conduct was not ſo right as it had been formerly;
for, in the firſt two Years of my Time, I had not
drawn above a Third of what he was deſired to ſup-
ply me with; and now, all on a Sudden, as it were,
taking the Remainder out of his Hands, and preſſing
for more every now and then, with
great
Earneſt-
neſs, it was very natural for him to think oddly of
the Matter. He ſpoke to my Maſter, and his
Son, about it, and enquired privately into my Be-
haviour ; but, as to my Maſter, he knew nothing
to the contrary, but that I behaved as well as uſual;
and, as to his Son, he had too much Affiction for
me to betray his Sentiments, or the Knowledge he
bad of the Alterations that he had obſerved in me;
therefore he imagined that I might have fallen upon
ſome Scheme to imploy the Money, in ſome way
or other to my Advantage, as he had obſerved in
me before a great Diſpoſition to Oeconomy and
Frugality: However, this did not hinder him from
giving all the proper Advice that he thought necef-
ſary, in my unguarded Time of Life. He laid open
the Vices and Follies of the Town, with becoming
Indignation; and pointed out to me thoſe Rocks
and Quickſands on which ſo many unhappy young
Men had been loft. As I had a great Regard and
Reſpect for him, I always attended to what he ſaid
with
of Joe THOMPSON.
73
with Abundance of Patience ; for I had not yet
learnt to deſpiſe Inſtruction, or to be diſobliged
with Reproof; and gave him ſuch Anſwers, as, for
the preſent, -allayed his Fears, and accordingly he
had not wrote about them to my Father.
My friendly young Maſter all this Time was
very uneaſy, on my Account; he was ſenſible, that,
if I was engaged in any laudable Purſuit, I ſhould,
with my former Freedom, have imparted it to him,
and aſked his Advice, as uſual, till lately; and
therefore feared, conſidering alſo the conſtant Em-
barraſſment of my Behaviour and Countenance, that
ſomewhat very extraordinary had happened to me
but my Staying out of Nights convinced him that
I was detained for no Good: I could often perceive
him figh; and as his Love for me was very great,
and indeed met with a moſt affectionate Return,
and an unreſerved Confidence, till I was thus hur-
ried from myſelf by this Breach in my Morals, he
could no longer conceal his Concern; and one
Evening, when I was going to my uſual Rendezvous,
he begged the Favour of my Company, a Requeſt I
could not poſſibly help comlying with.
We ſpent the fore Part of the Evening in our
uſual Manner, converſing on ſeveral uſeful To.
pics, and reading alternately; and, to render my
Detention the more acceptable to me, he provided
a Supper, and the Glaſs was circulated with more
Freedom than ordinary. He accidentally, at length,
VOL. I.
E
took
.
74
The Life and Adventures
took up the Fair Penitent, which lay on the Table;
and, turning it over, aſked my Opinion of the ten-
der Scene between Altamont and his friend Horatio,
after he had diſcovered the Fallhood of Califla,
I freely confeſſed I thought the Poet had wo: ked it
up with a great deal of Judgment; and that, con-
fidering the Provocation Altamont had given bis
Friend before, it was a Maller. piece to introduce
Lavinia, without whoſe Interpofition it would have
been very improbable to effect ſuch a Reconci-
liation. Thence our Diſcourſe rolled on the Na-
ture of Friendship, about which our Sentiments
were quite conformable: And now, dear Joe
(ſays he) may not I reproach you for Want of
Friendſhip to me? I have obſerved an unuſual,
unlooked for Alteration in your Behaviour, for
many Months: I am ſenſible your Coldneſs towards
me has not been cauſed by any Thing I have ſaid
or done to offend you; I have too great a Regard
for you ever even to think of any Thing likely to
give you Pain or Uneaſineſs; what then is the
Reaſon I am become diſtaſteful to you? You Thun
me, and fly my Company, as if it was diſagreeable
to you.
As a ſincere Friend is one of the greateſt
Bleſſings in Life, to be diſappointed in ſuch an En-
joyment is one of the greateſt Mortifications ima-
ginable; and our Friendſhip was of ſuch a Nature,
having-Severeſt Virtue for its Baſis, as the Poet
fays, that nothing but a Deviation from its divine
Principles,
of JOE THOMPSON. 75
-
Principles, I think, could deſtroy our Union. My
Affection to you is, perhaps, more ſtrongly rooted
than you can well imagine ; how then can I per-
ceive the Cloud you wear upon your Countenance,
and that viſible Alteration in you; you, who was
a Pattern of Regularity and Sobriety, without feel-
ing the moſt pungent Sorrow? For God's Sake,
Joey', unboſom yourſelf to me; whatever has hap-
pened, I am ready to comfort and alliſt you, not
only by Words, but will relinquiſh every Thing is
my Power to reſtore your Quiet. I am ſenſible
of your late Familiariry with Prim, and, take my
Word for it, he is a very Wretch ; and, tho' you
never aſked me my Opinion of Mr. Speculift, I
will plainly tell you, that, if it be no Impeach-
ment to your good Senſe to keep him Company,
yet, in Time, it will be very deſtructive of your
Morality; there is ſcarce a more vicious Fellow
breathing, and he is a Companion the more dara-
gerous, as he gilds over his Vices with the Appear-
ance of Reaſon and Philoſophy. What would our
Fathers ſay! what would they think of you, you
were known to like his Fellowſhip and Conver-
ſation!-So home a Charge gave me the utmoſt
Pain; I bluſhed, and was confounded, and ſincerely
hated myſelf, for abuſing ſo much Goodneſs and
Generoſity: In that tranfient Moment I took a
filent Reſolution to leave off my Follies ; I was
relieved by the Thought; I reſumed a free Air,
and,
if
E 26
76 The Life and Adventures
in me.
and, without much Conſtraint, told the dear Youth
that I was ſenſible my Conduct had been very re-
proachable:--Not ſo, ſays he, I don't reproach
you; I deſire to know nothing you are not willing
I ſhould know, only return to the warm Friendſhip
you have always ſeemed to be inſpired with, and fave
me from the Pain of thinking that you are purſuing
a Courſe that will make you completely wretched.
--Theſe laſt Words were accompanied with a Tear
or two, which excited the fame Motions of Grief
I promiſed the dear Friend, that I would
foon diſcloſe my whole Soul to him, and, in the
mean Time, begged him to ſuffer me to drop the
Diſcourſe, which became too tender for me to
ſupport; he conſented, we entered upon indiffe-
rent Matters, and I ſeemed to be that Night robbed
of all my Diſquiets, by the Refolution I had taken,
I perceived, by ſome Part of his Diſcourſe, that
he gueſſed a little at my Situation; the Idea gave
me Torture inexpreſible; I reſolved, over and
over, to forſake my filly and vicioos Companions,
and to return again to the happy State I had lost
almoſt the Reliſh for. Alas! how frail are all
our Reſolutions? I think I was bewitched, and the
next Night deſtroyed the Force of every Thing
that paſſed the Night before: My Mind, uſed to
Idlen els and Folly, was not ſo ſoon to be reſtored to
itſelf, and made capable of Cober Reflection; the
Glaſs was circulated, the Jefts few about the Table;
Speculij?
!
و
of JOE THOMPSON.
77
{
Speculift harangued, and I forgot myſelf and my
Friend: How hard is it to recover the Mind, when
too much Pleaſure has foftened and enervated it?
The Returns of Vice, like thoſe of an intermitting
Fever on the Body, are not to be refifted; it bears
all before it, and deſtroys every ſober and reaſun-
able Suggeſtion.
My Neglects grew quite notorious at Home;
whole Days, as well as Nights, were ſpent with
my new Companions, or my Girl, in all the atan-
doned Looſeneſs imaginable : Mr. Deacon, in vain,
adviſed me, and threatened to write to my Father:
I was loſt to all Senſe of my Duty, and Repuration
itſelf; when an Accident, that befel me, rather
conduced to confirm me in my had Courſes, thair
to thew me the Folly of them, by dictating to my
unhinged and perverted Imagination, that all the
Pretences that were made in the World to Reli-
gion and Virtue were Hypocrify and Diffimuld-
tion.
The falle Pleaſures I received in my Amours,
which were not ſolely confined to Nanny, if I had
not been loſt indeed to all Sentiments of Happineſs,
were mingled with fo many diſagreeable Circum-
frances, that I ſhould not have long thought them
engaging. As to her, I began to receive the moſt
cu ting Affrons from her; the had loſt all her Soft-
neſs and Complaiſance,and domineered and Aounced
abour, in a Manner that ſurpriſed me; her Ra-
paci.
E 3
78
The Life and Adventures
paciouſleſs and Extravaganey made me perpetually
uneaſy; ſhe had even prevailed on me to write to
my Father for an Increaſe of his moſt generous
Allowance, and I had been ſuch a Dupe to comply.
Our Meetings were generally uſhered in, and :
concluded, with a Quarrel, in which we mu-
tually accuſed cach other for being the Cauſe of
our preferit Unhappineſs: In ſhort, I grew jaded
and tired; feldom came near her; and, if Fear of
her violent Teniper had not deterred me, ſhould
have parted with her with great Satisfaction. I
thought I perceived of late a Self-intereſtedneſs and
cunning Reſerve, that I had never noticed before.
I had ſtayed away from her one whole Week, when
I took a Reſolution to call upon her, to leave her
fume Money, having juſt received fome from Mr.
Deacon, which, indeed, upon my Importunity, he
had advanced, before it was due. When I came
to the Door, the Woman of the Houſe told me,
with a half Smile, that Mrs. Jenkins's Couſin was
with her, for that was the Name we went by there,
myſelf palling for her Huſband, who was a Tide-
waiter, and employed chiefly in Buſineſs upon
the River, which made my Viſits ſo uncertain.
The Word Couſin ſtartled me, for I had really ſome
little Affection for her; and, upon Enquiry, the
Woman told me ſhe thought I had known of his
Viſits, for he was there every Day. I ſaid no more,
but ſoftly ſtole up Stairs into the Bed-chamber,
where,
of JOE THOMPSON. 7
where, from a Cloſet, I could over-hear every Tbing
that paſſed in Madam's Dining-room; and had not
been placed long, but, to my great Surpriſe, I heard
the Voice of Mr. Packer, our Journeyman. The
Reader may eaſily gueſs my Aſtoniſhinient, and the
Conjectures that diſtracted my Brain, when I was
relieved from my Doubts of the Reaſon of his being
there, by the following Dialogue, frequently in-
terrupted with Kiſſcs : So, fays he, the young
Puppy has not been here this Week, you ſay; upon,
my Word, Nancy, you ſhould act a little more
politically; if you uſe hiin fo roughly, you will loſe
your Spark, and you know we canino: do with-
out him : That's true, fays ke, but, as at firit
I gave myſelf to himn to ſcreen our Corre-
fpondence, you muſt be ſenſible that I can have
no Regard for him, but the utmoli Averſion,
which, in ſhort, I begin to be unable to conceal;
I wonder you will put me to ſo difficult a Tak :
If it was not for his Money, replied he, he might
be dd; but it is impoſſible for me, in my pre-
fent Situation, to keep you myſelf; and, there-
fore, as we reap ſuch a benefii from him, you
Mould behave ſo as to ſecure him till we can do
better...This Sicech was ſucceeded by an Em-
bracc, which I could perceive was carried on to
the lait Criſis. My Surpriſe and Aftonifhment at
this exceeded Defcription; I trembled with Rage
and Fury, iny Knees tottered under me, and I was
ready
E 4
80
The Life and Adventures
ready to fall on the Floor; but, recollecting myſelf,
I made Shift to find my Way down Stairs; and,
going to a neighbouring Public-Houſe, wrote the
following Letter, and left it with the Woman to
deliver to her, together with two Guineas; and,
paying the Arrears of Rent due, told her I diſcharged
myſelf of any farther Care about paying for the
Lodgings, and then departed, pleaſed with myſelf
for having exerciſed ſo much Temper and Pru-
dence :
TH
MADAM,
HE Proofs I have juſt received of your ill
Treatment of me, from firſt to laſt, by the
Diſcourſe I have over-heard between you and your
Paramour, have determined me to be your Dupe
no longer. I don't pretend to upbraid you, but
only reflect upon my own Folly and Stupidity, for
fuffering myſelf to be made the Tool and Property
of a baſe, defigning Woman, fo evidently to my
Hurt and Detriment. I have diſcharged what was
due for your lodging, and have left two Guineas
in your Landlady's Hand for your preſent Uſe;
for you may aſſure yourſelf you will no more hear
from
JOSEPH THOMPSON.
R. S. If your Acquaintance behaves prudently, it
ſhall not be my Fault, if any Thing of his
Conduct tranſpires.
Had
of Joe THOMPSON.
81
Had any indifferent Perſon been the Accom-
plice of this Woman, I believe I ſhould imme.
diately have grown fick and tired of Vice, which
wears ſo many Thorns about it; but Packer was
reckoned a Prodigy of Sobriety, and had made
Shift to behave ſo cautiouſly, that he was the Fa-
vourite of our whole Family, and had been par-
ticularly obliging to me: He was a conſtant Church
goer, and put on ſuch an Appearance of Religion
and Sanctity, that he was the laſt Perſon I could
have ſuſpected of any criminal Action; but now,
diſcovering the Blackneſs of his Behaviour, I con-
cluded, all in a Hurry, that there was no real Good-
neſs in the World, and ſtrengthened myſelf with a
Maxim of Rochefoucault's that Speculiff had ever
in his Mouth, That all Mankind are Knaves or
Fools, and only differ from one another, as they are:
more or leſs for Thus I argued, or ſeemed to argue,
myſelf into a Belief, that Hypocriſy and Diffimu-
lacion, rather than any real Virtue or Piety, was.
the Source of the orderly Behaviour of thoſe that
paſſed for the beſt People. I rejoiced at my De-
livery from the Slavery and Expence I was in-
volved in, and ſwore that no particular Object
ſhould byaſs me again to ſo much Folly. Theſe Re-
ſolves were more ſtrengthened by the Converſation
I had, the fame Evening, with Speculif; and I
ſtill increaſed them by the Mirth that was inſpired
by Wine, and the Company of my old Affociateş.
ES
When
82 The Life and Adventures
When I returned Home, Mr. Deacon, I found,
had left a Letrer, which he received incloſed in one
to him from my Father, which haſtily breaking
open, I found to the following Effect:
I
Dear Son,
Can't help telling you, that your deſiring an
Augmentation of the Sum I allow you for your
Expences has very greatly ſurpriſed me, and I
can't at preſent imagine how you could even dif-
poſe of what you have had already. If I was apť
to ſuſpect your Conduct, I have but too much
Reaſon to do ſo, as I have, to my great Concern,
found you ſlack and remifs in paying the Compli-
ment of writing to me and your Mother; and.
Mr. Deacon has, with the utmoſt tender Regard,
however, to you, hinted fome Things to me which
cannot fail giving me conſiderable Pain: But as
your Maſter, in his laſt Account of you, ſaid ſo
much in your Praiſe, and I know you fo well le-
cured from the Attacks of Vice or Folly, which
ride predominant in London, by a virtuous and
ſober Education, and an excellent natural Temper,
I will not give Way to any uneafy Surmiſes ; nay,
I have even gratified your Requeft, and have de-
fired my Friend to increaſe your Stipend ten
Pounds every Year. I hope, my dear Child, you
will not give me Occaſion to repent my Indulgence :
I am ſenſible of the many Temptations Youth are
I
liable
!
of JOE THOMPSON.
83
1
liable to in that wicked Town: I am even tempted
ſometimes to blame myſelf for being the Inſtrument
of your going there; but, all Things conſidered,
and reflecting upon the excellent Examples before
you, in your worthy Maſter and his amiable Son,
I believe I may make myſelf eaſy. Remember
one Thing, thacimmoderate Expences, even in the
innocent Cravings of Nature, and the Faſhions
that Cuſtom has introduced, is a Thing of a very
bad Tendency, and will, in Time, engage a cor-
rupt Habit of Mind. I would not have you mean
and ſordid; your Temper and Conſtitution ſecures
you from that; and, on the other Hand, employ
your Money judiciouſly, and let not your Plenty
be a Temptation to a too great Indulgence of Plea-
fure, or any extravagant Gratifications. Sir Walter,
who has built an Houſe in our Neighbourhood, and
the young Lady, who is always with your Mother,
and ſeems to have a great Regard for me and my
Family, defire their Compliments to you: Your
Mother ſends her Bleſſing, and you have the ſame,
moſt heartily, with Prayers for your Health and
Welfare,
From your very affectionate Father,
WILLIAM THOMPSON
E 6
CHAP Р.
Sot
The Life and Adventures
T
CHA P. XII.
He frequents the Play boufe.-Converſes with
Women of the Town.-Reforts to Bawdy-
houſes.-- Adventures at a noted Bagnio.--
Beats the Watch, -Is carried with Prim ta
the Watch-houſe. They are releaſed.--
Pays a Debt for Prig.- Commences an Ac-
quaintance with Mrs. Modiſh.
HIS Letter of my Father's, at firſt, gave me
a great deal of Pain, and opened a Field of
Reflexion, which, however, I ſoon overcame: If
it did me any Service, it was only to make me
more careful of keeping up Appearances at Home,
that my Maſter might not perceive my Alteration
of Character; therefore I never ſtaid out late, or
lay out all Night, at thoſe Times which he ſpent
in Town, which were now leſs frequent than
erer, as his Son was more and more capable to fup-
ply his Place; and, as to him, his Friendſhip filently
winked at every Thing. Freed from the Incum-
brance of the perfidious Wretch my Miſtreſs, and
Packer, for his own Sake, behaving with great Cir-
cumſpection and Modeſty, I gave a Looſe to the
falſe Pleaſures I was devoted to, more than ever;
every Night carried me with Speculif, Prig, or
Prim, to the Theatre, which was now become my
seigning Taſte; tut as my Soul was muddied, and
fou]
of JOE THOMPSON,
85
foul with vicious Taint, all the ſublime Morality.
of our excellent Dramatic Performances was loft
upon me, and, mingling with the ſenſeleſs Herd,
it only became a Place of downright Debauchery,
and ftupid Sallies of incoherent Impertinence ;
Hiſſing, affronting the Audience, drawing Bluſhes
from the Fair, intriguing with the Actreſſes behind
the Scenes, attending the Levee in the Green Room,
converſing with the loweſt Part of the Town, tho',
perhaps, diſtinguiſhed by Dreſs and Title, Buf-
foonry, Bawdry, and rank Nonſenſe, were the
delicate Inducements that drew us there : Often
our Entertainment concluded with a riotous Quar-
rel, wherein the maddeſt Actions, the moſt obſcene
and irregular Starts of Pallion, diſtinguiſhed us ;
and as we feldom went there till we were top-
heavy, as the Saying is, we frequently came off with
the worſt: From thence we uſed to adjourn to
the Tavern, and, when thoroughly inflamed with
the inſpiring Juice of the Vine, ſcour the Hundreds
of Drury, and commit ſuch Pranks, as it were a
Shame and Reproach even to mention. The Wo-
men of the Town now engaged my Attention, and,
for a Time, I took the greateſt Pleaſure imagi-
nable in frequenting the dark Regions of Luft.
To deſcribe the various Broils this engaged me in,
and the hair-breadth 'Scapes I had from the Wiles
of the flattering Whore, and the Rage of the ſwag.
gering Bully, would tire my Reader's Patience,
and
88 The Life and Adventures
1
1
and keep him too long from Things of greater
Moment, and of more engaging Relifh. The
Tricks I have ſeen put upon the Unwary that fell
into theſe righteous Hands, the loathſome Nau-
ſeouſneſs of thoſe apparently tempting Charmers,
when viewed in puris naturalibus, would have ſoon
given a Surfeit to any but a Wretch who had
thrown afide all Delicacy and Confideration, and
the Exerciſe of Reaſon and good Senſe. My Ex-
ceſſes of this Kind frequently made me the Victim
of the moſt fhocking Diſtemper; which, however,
as I ſuffered it to run to no Extremity, gave me
but a flight Uneaſineſs ; a Surgeon's Appren-
tice, one of our Gang, was always at Hand, with
his own Skill, and his Maſter's Medicines, to patch
up the Diſorder, without Hindrance, or Confine-
ment ſufficient to draw us off long from the
odious Cuſtom of reſorting to thoſe Temples of
Satan. The Life of a common Proſtitute
is ſurely the moſt miſerable that Imagination
can form an Idea of, ever ſubject to the brutal
Violence, and filthy Embraces, of a promiſcuous
motly Herd, and, like the common Sewer, a Re-
ceptacle of all Filth that flows from the libidinous
Exceſſes of the Town; nor could the famed Box
of Pandora contain more Evils than ſhe is made
the Inheritor of; till a conſtant Purſuit of the
ſame filthy Trade totally demoliſhes her Health,
and the rots away by Peace-meal, and at length is
100
of JOE THOMPSON.
87
1
too often expoſed and abandoned to a ſhocking
untimely End, by the Courſe of the flowly ſtealing
Corruption, or the Hand of Juſtice heavily preſſing
her for ſome trivial Theſt, that, perhaps, her woeful
Wants have forced her to commit.
One Evening Prim and myſelf had formed a
Reſolution of lying at a noted Bagnio near Char-
ing-Croſs, to purchafe the Enjoyment of a freſh
Brace of thefe Dulcinea's, being quite cloyed
with thoſe at our uſual Reſorts : Being Stran-
gers to the Governeſs of theſe Filles de Foge, we
perfuaded Speculift to introduce and ſtart the Game.
Old Mother Damnable received us with great Af-
fe&tion of Complaiſance, and calling us her Chil-
dren, the uſual Cant, faluted us ſeverally with a
Pair of Lips, that expelled a Breath equalled by
nothing but the cadaverous Scent of a putrified
Carcaſe, and had almoſt prejudiced me againſt the
Goods we were going to cheapen. Speculift aſked
her, How Trade ſtood ? Alack, my Dear, ſays the
whining Bawd, I am almoft ruined'; theſe Half-pay
Officers lie ſo heavily upon my Hands, and ſcore
up more than I take of my other Gueſts; well,
God bleſs the King, but, if we had another War, I
might have fome Chance for my Money ;--but
what will you drink? I have ſome of the fineſt Arrack
you ever tafted : Well ſaid, Mother, let us have a
ſtaring Crown Bowl then? Fye, Mr. Speculift, ſure
you would not call for ſuch a pimping Quantity as
that;
The Life and Adventures
1
that; what ſay you, Love, chucking me under the
Chin, mall I make it up half a Guinea ? --Here,
Mrs. Decoy, fill this Bowl with Arrack. Won't you
walk into the Parlour, Gentlemen ? You will find
all the Ladies there, poor Things, they want Com-
pany. Away we poſted into the Parlour, and
found three delicate Bona Roba's drinking Tea, and
chatting by the Fire-ſide. Here an elegant Supper
was ſerved up, and, after repleniſhing the Bowl three
or four Times, moſt of which was fucked up by
Madam and her Nymphs, we ſettled the Pre-
liminaries ; and, every Man ſingling his Doxy,
mounted for our ſeveral Apartments, juſt as the
Watchman had roared out paſt Two o'Clock. I
muſt own, I thought I was going to claſp an An-
gel, the Red and White was ſo livelily diſplayed
on her Cheeks, and the ſwelling Boſom gave me
ſuch a Proſpect of heightened Raptures ; ſo with
eager Hafte difrobing ourſelves, we crept between
the Sheets, prepared to employ our Time as in-
duſtriouſly as eager Warmth foretold we ſhould: My
baſhful Goddeſs, from her high Senſe of Modeſty,
extinguiſhing the Taper, to hide, as ſhe pretend-
ed, her glowing Bluſhes, being, poor Thing, but
newly inſtructed in the Trade. In about an Hour
afterwards we both fell into a ſound Sleep, from
which we were ſuddenly awakened by a thundera
ing Noiſe at the Door, which at firſt I could not
conceive the Meaning of, till I was thoroughly
rous'd'
of Joe THOMPSON.
83
;
sous'd by the terrifying Cry of Murder--Thieves.
--Finding it high Time to provide for my Secu-
rity, I huddled on my Cloaths in a Trice: As for
Madam, ſhe ſtood ſhivering and ſhaking like an
Alpin Leaf; not that robbing the old Devil's Houſe,
ſhe ſaid, would affect her ; but ſhe was fearſul the
Rogues would abuſe and viulate her Perſon. I ad-
viſed her however to ſtay where ſhe was, whilſt I,
armed with a Poker, fallied forth as grim as Her-
cules or Nero. Upon coming into the Entry,
which divided our Apartment from three or four
more on the ſame Floor, I was immediately jum-
bled in the Dark amongſt five or fix Womer, who,
by their Voices, I found were the old Bawd and
ſome of her Females, all trembling and crying to
God, to have Mercy upon then. I ventured to aſk
the Meaning of their Fright; Alack-a-day, ſays the
old Whore, I am ruined, Sir; to be ſure they have
moved off every Thing valuable below; and then
blubbered out, Oh, my China ! my Pewter! and
to be ſure they have broken open my Bar ! I am an
undone Woman ! Well, ſays I, can't you ſtrike a
Light? And the good Mother then recollected the
had a Tinder-box in her Room, but neither her-
ſelf, nor any body elſe, could be prevailed on to ſtir
to fetch it.
Whilſt this was under Debate, we
heard the Door of another Room opened, and a
hourle Voice bollowed out, D-n your Blood,
whai is all this Racket for, are you all mad? Oh,
Captain,
1
90
The Life and Adventures
Captain, fays one of the Wenches, there are Thieves
in the Houſe; and at that Inſtant a Noife, like the
Overturning of a Table and Glaffes, faluted our
Ears: Oh, by GM, if that's all, ſays the ſame
Voice, it is no Buſineſs of mine ? Danye, why
don't ye call the Watch ? And fo Napped the Door
100 again, and double-bolted it: Ay, ſays one of
the Ladies, there is your Man of Courage for you,
Madam ; I am ſure I would never diſgrace Scar-
Jer, if I was ſuch a Coward ;---you will take Care
of Number one I perceive. Preſently we heard a
Stamping up Stairs, upon which the Nymphs all
{cudded, ſome into one Room, and ſome in ano-
ther, wherever they could grope their way. As
foon as I perceived the Stamping was pretty near
our Stair-head, I aſked, Who is there, who is that?
A Voice replied, which I foon diſtinguiſhed to be
Prim's; What the Devil have you been at, ſays I,
old Friend ; nay, I can't tell, ſays he, for I be-
hieve all the Devils in Hell are let looſe below.
By this Time Madam Governeſs brought a Light,
and found Prim and me together; he without any
thing on but his Shirt, and ſhaking with Cold till
his Teeth uttered a Sound like the Ticking of a
Clock, but more irregular. We reſolved now to
explore the Bottom of the Matter ; ſo ſnatching the
Light, and brandiſhing my Poker, I marched in
the Van; Prim, armed with a Braſs Candleſtick,
followed me, and the whole Bevey of Ladies
brought
of Joe THOMPSON. 91
1
i
brought up the Rear ; when we came into the
Parlour, where we had been drinking, we found
indeed the whole Room flripped, and, turning our
Eyes towards the Window, perceived that it had
been broke open, and the Shutter had a Pannel
completely cut out of it: Here was the Myſtery
opened, our next Work was to look aficr tre
Stragglers, if perchance any had lagg'd behind ;
but our Search was fruitleſs, for our Noiſe had
hurried them away ſo precipitately, that they had
decamped without making any extraordinary Booty.
The Man in Scarlet and Speculift by this Time
had joined us, and propoſed a Tiff of Punch,
which, as foon as Mrs. Decoy had kindled a Fire, we
had ſerved up, and nobody remained dull but the
kind Hoſteſs, who was mourning over the Loſs of
a Punch.ladle and ſome other Gcer which the
miſſed after this Incurfion. Such a Groupe of Fi-
gures I never ſurveyed before ; the Women bad
only looſe Gowns over them, and ſo difhevelled,
that you would imagine they reſembled ſo many
Furies; the Captain, who was now very valiant
at Sight of a clear Coaſt and the Punch, had only
his Regimental Coat on, and Prim had juſt put on
a Gown of Mrs. Deroy's, which he found lying in
the Kitchen ; as to the Miſtreſs of the Houſe,
having nothing on to confine her Load of Lelly,
the appeared a Creature of ſuch a Form, that it
was impoffible to invent a Name for. Every one
mored
1
92
The Life and Adventures
1
moved now to retire again to their warm Beds, and
the ſame Hint was given to me by a female Voice o-
ver my Shoulder, which I then perceived proceeded
from my Bargain, who I thought had not ventur-
ed out of her Room; but oh Heavens ! Ovid, with
all his Metamorphoſes, could not have matched
ſuch a Transformation. The Red that had glowed
in her Cheeks was now removed to her Chin, and
her whole Face was ſuch a Jumble of Colours, and
ſo hagged and frightful, that I diſputed the Identity
of the Perſon : Inſtead of the ſwelling Breafts
two ſhivering Bags diſcovered themſelves of the
Colour of Bladders, and not unlike them, when
juſt half blown up; and, as to the jutting Hips,
their Prominency, which before ſupported a ſlender
Waiſt, was quite levelled and loft. Quite fick,
and full of Averfion and Curſes, I reſolved to fay
no longer"; and, Prim being of the fame Mind, we
left Speculift, and paying our Reckoning, which
amounted to Forty-five Shillings, fallied out în Pura
fuit of farther Adventures. We directed our Courſe
towards the City, and in my Way I took Occaſion
to ask my Companion how he came down Stairs at
the Bagnio at that Hour of Night; he informed me,
that, being cloyed with his Doxy, he had gone:
down with an Intent to go to Bed to Mrs. Decoy, as
had been ofien practiſed by Speculift in that Houſe ;
but found her Neſt empty, and had been forced to
hide himſelf, till the Thieves, of whom he count-
ed.
of JOE THOMPSON. 93
!
ed Three, had evacuated the Premiſes. In oui
Way down the Strand and Fleet-ſtreet, we aſſault-
ej every one we met, chagrined with our late Dir-
appointments; broke Lamps, kicked Strumpets,
and abuſed the Watch, whole Lanthorns and
Staves became a Prey to our Frolics, which we
made Prize of, as they ſlept, contentedly ſnoring
at their Stands. Turning the Corner of Flect-ditch,
we perceived one of theſe hopeful Guardians of the
City's Peace in a profound Doze, his Lanthorn and
Staff ſtanding by him, which we feized and toffed
over into the Ditch ; but, waking ſuddenly, we
were obliged to take to our Heels, followed by
him and half a Dozen more of the Fraternity,
whom he had alarmed with the Cry of Watch:
As we were nimbler than our Purſuers, we ſhould
ſoon have got clear of them, if a Watchman
had not ſtarted out of Ludgate, as we were ſcour-
ing thro' the Gate, who at one Blow laid Prim
Alat upon the Pavement: Fired with this Diſaſter,
and the Injury done to my Friend, I flew upon
him, and, wreſting his Weapon out of his Hand,
ſoon ſent him to bear him Company: By this Time
more Afiſtance coming, I had a hard Taſk to
maintain my Ground, and, after giving and receiv-
ing many weighty Thwacks over the Back and
Shoulders, I was feized by two of them behind,
and with Prim, who had juſt recovered, was in
Triumph conducted to the latch-houſe: There
ſat
94
The Life and Adventures
Lut in great State the Nocturnal Majeſty of Mr.
Conſtable, who, on hearing the Allegations of the
Accuſers, determined to accompany us direally
to the Compter, for which Purpoſe he ſent Orders
for all his Band to attend him; but perceiving he
was an hired Magiſtrate by his Appearance, and
the Oddity of his Behaviour, I begged the Favour
to ſpeak to him apart, and pretending to know
moft People in the Ward, and adding to my Speech
the prevailing Rhetoric of Half-a-Crown, he per-
fuaded the injured Parties to come to Terms of
Agreement, telling them, we ſeemed to be good-
natured young Gentlemen, and would, no doubt,
make them proper Amends. His Eloquence pre-
vailed, and, a Gailon of Beer and a Quantity of
Gin being ſet before us, we foon came to an AC-
commodation, and for the Sum of a Shilling to
each, after paying for the Lanthorn and Staff,
we were joyfully releaſed.
It was now light,
and we made fuch a rueful Appearance, that we
determined not to go Home till next Evening,
and directed our Steps to the freh Air of lfling-
ton, to endeavour, by the reviving Breeſes of
the Country, to get rid of the Qualms of our
Drinking, and the Lafitude occaſioned by Want
of Reſt. In our way thro' that Part of the Sub-
urbs in our Rout, who ſhould we meet but poor
Prig, in Durance vile, in the Hands of a Marſhal's
Court Catch-pole? He was quite aſhamed of this
Rencounter; but, underſtanding that he was only
detained
of JOE THOMPSON. 95
detained for a Debt of 'Three Pounds to his Shoes
maker, we jointly depoſited the Money and the
Coſts, over a Quartern of Brandy at an Ale houle,
and ſet him at Liberty. As he had made a Mid-
night Excurſion alſo, we prevailed on him to go
with us, and got about Dinner-time to Holloway,
where we joined Company with a promiſcuous Set
of Perſons that were juſt ſitting down to Table,
at a Houſe we had often uſed before. Amongſt
the reſt was a very handſome Woman, ſeemingly
of about thirty Years of Age, whom her Huſband,
a moroſe, ill-behaved Man, had brought out for
an Airing; the betrayed ſo much Averfion to her
Yoke-fellow, and appeared fo complaiſant to every
body elſe, that I foun judged her Diſpoſition, and
made all the Advances I could to a farther Ac-
quaintance; and ſome of the Company, after the
Cloth was removed, propoſing a Walk in the Gar-
den, I gave my Hand to the Lady, who willingly
left her Spouſe to blow his Pipe with my Compau
nions, and two or three more, over a Bowl of
Punch, and accompanied me. I found this Lady
was not over coy, and judged by what I percei-
ved, that, if Opportunity could be found, the
would not ſhew much Obduracy to a warm preſo
fing young Fellow. She had ſmitten my Fancy,
and I was reſolutely determined to poſleſs her, and
rendered myſelf ſo agreeable to her, that we made
an Appointment to meet the next Day at an Ac-
quaintance
96
The Life and Adventures
quaintance of her's in Town, where I was to en-
quire for Mrs. Modiſh. We all came to London
together, Prim and Prig having taken the Hint,
and made themſelves very agreeable to the Huf-
band.
7
!
CHAP. XIII.
P.
Fatal Conſequences of his Amour.---Goes to the
Maſquerade. — Picked up at Vauxhall Gar-
dens.--He is beat and ſtripped.-Gets to
Mr. Speculift's Lodgings. ---Cataſtrophe of
Prim. - Contracts a bad Diſtemper.— Is
quite reduced. - Pawns bis Watch. — Goes
to the Gaming-table.- Is kicked down Stairs.
--Meets Prig at Tom King's. -Returns
Home. - Is well received.
ITH eager Expectation I counted the te-
dious Hours, the next Day, till the Time
of my Appointment arrived, when, making an
Excuſe to go upon ſome Buſineſs to the Cuſtom-
houſe, I viſited the Place that inſhrined my Princeſs ;
which was at a little Shopkeeper's on Tower-Hill,
where I found her waiting with as much Impa--
tience as I could poffibly be agitated with. I per-
ceived this was not to be the Scene of our Amour,
fui
of Joe THOMPSON. 97
for, when the good Woman was gone aſide, ſhe
deſired me to propoſe going with her to Vauxhall,
and gave me Inſtructions to call her Couſin; this,
as ſoon as Tea was ended, I did accordingly, and
carried the Grimace on ſo well, that, having ob-
ſerved her Gicquaintance expreſs herſelf in a great
Hurry of Buſineſs, I even preſſed her to accom-
pany us, which, as I knew ſhe would, ſhe
very
politely declined; fo calling a Coach, I handed her
into it; and, when I had joined her, ordered the
Coachman to drive to Vauxhall, aloud; but, in a
kind of Whiſper, told him to make what Expe-
dition he could to Chelſea. In our Way a!l the
little wanton Blandiſhments that we had an Opm
portunity for were practiſed on both sides; and,
in ſhort, we became ſo inamoured of one another,
that the Coach went too ſlowly for our Wiſhes.
She indulged me in the moſt tempting Liberties,
and ſeemed quite pleaſed with, and proud of her
Conqueſt. I underſtood her Huſband was a rich
Druggiſt, and that ſhe had been married againſt
her Conſent and Inclination to him, which had,
togecher with his moſt unfociable, jealous, and
ſuſpicious Temper, driven her to ſeek that Hap-
pineſs and Felicity Abroad, that ſhe could not
meet with at Home. I began to think myſelf
not at all to blame in this Intercourſe; I looked
upon her as a fine Woman in Diſtreſs, and Aattered
myſelf, that my affording her Relief, and Satif-
VOL. I.
F
faction,
:
:
d
9.3
The Life and Adventures
}
fiction, was meritorious, Thus falſely do we
argue, when the Mind is depraved, and loaded
with a Weight of Iniquity; we gild over to our-
felves Crimes of the deepeſt Dye, if the ſmalleſt
Circumſtances can be gathered to alleviate them. I
verily belicve the moſt abandoned Miſcreants thus
reaſon with themſelves, and that no Man, let him
te ever ſo wicked, but ſuggeſts to his Mind ſome
Excuſe for what he commits, before he feels the
falſe Pleaſure in it that he propoſes. A plain Proof
this of the Human Heart's being originally created
void of Blemiſh, and ſtimulated by the Author of
Nature to nothing but praiſe-worthy Motions. I
began to be tired of the promiſcuous Latitude I
had given myſelf in the Uſe of Women ; thoſe
uneaſy, wretched Days, that fucceeded the loath-
fomc revelling Nights, which left me all jaded,
tired, and qualmiſh, began to give me Difguft; I
looked upon this Adventure as a Relief from
ſuch nauſeous Debauches, and reſolved to con-
fine myſelf ſolely to my preſent Obje&i, and
drink large Draughts of Love. Mrs. Modiſh, to a
very fine Perſon, joined a Turn of Wit and good
Senſe that charmed me; I found her Converſation
irreſiſtible, and thought myſelf the happieſt of Men
in her Embraces. We ſpent the Day lo fatisfac-
torily to us both, that we parted not only with Re-
gret, but in ſuch a tender Manner, as began to
ake us both ſerious; and I muſt ſay, that, barring
th:
of JOE THOMPSON.
99
the Indulgence of this one Appetite in ſo unliwiul
a Manner, ſhe was not addicted to any one bad
Property. Poor Woman! how happily, how pru-
dently, the would have paſſed her Days, had For-
tune beſtowed upon her a Huſband of good Senſe
and Humanity, that ſhe could have an Affection
for, inſtead of a four, moroſe, jealous Wretch, who
had not Capacity enough to put any Means is
Practice to engage her Tenderneſs! Ye covetous
worldly-minded Parents, how many unhappy Crea-
tures you have ade!
Our Meetings were now very frequent; I for.
rook my old Companions, and was bent on no-
thing elſe but pleaſing and obliging her. Me .
thought there was ſomewhat in it that flatteringly
recalled me to my former Delicacy and good
Tafte; I imagined I was not doing any Harm, as
our Intercourſe gave no-body Diſquiet ; but this
grave Species of Vice was ſoon to have a Period:
We were one Evening returning from a Country
Walk, her Arm fondly reſting upon my Shoulder,
when we were met by a Gentleman, the Sight of
whom put her into the utmoſt Confternation; the
trembled, and was ready to faint: I was ſoon de-
livered from my Ignorance of the Occaſion, by
hearing him ſay, Soy Siſter, where have you been
walking ? I. hope my Brother is well ? Sir, your
Servant, to me, and then bruſhed by us with great
Hafte. When ſhe recovered her Spirits ſufficiently,
the
1
.
F 2
2
:
100
The Life and Adventures
The informed me it was her Huſband's Brother,
who had always been her very great Enemy;
and having ſome Expectancy, in cafe he ſhould
die without Children, would, no doubt, make a
Handle of this Meeting to do her all the Prejudice
in his Power. 'I was diſtracted at what I heard ;
my Diſpoſition was too generous to think of the
Inſults the would be liable to with Patience; I
even went ſo far, as to propoſe an Elopement to
her, but, with the utmoſt good Senſe, the repreſſed
my Propoſals, and particularly infilled, that ſhe
would do nothing to injure her Reputation, or to
provoke my Ruin, which would, by ſuch a Proceed-
ing, be inevitable. I was convinced, and embraced
her with all the Tenderneſs and Gratitude her Words
inſpired; we parted, and Tears were ſhed on both
Sides, deceiving ourſelves with the Hopes of ſilence-
ing her Brother, which ſhe promiſed to attempt,
and Meeting the next Day again. Full of the Ideas
of what might have happened, I went to the old
Place of Allignation, but, inſtead of finding the
Object of my Concern, had the following Letter
given to me:
į
+
1
Dear THOMPSON,
Fear, alas ! this is the laſt Time that even the
Liberty I at preſent take can be indulged :
Our being met was diſcovered, before I came
Home, with all the aggravated Circumſtances that
Malice
I '
of JOE THOMPSON.
IOT
Malice could invent. You may gueſs the Uſage I
have had, from what you know of my Huſband's
brūtal Temper: I will not give you the Pain, I
an fen!ible, you'll feel in the Relation of it: In
an Hour's Time I ſhall be hurried into the Country,
where Confinement will be my Lot, perhaps till the
Hour of my Death: I have only juſt Opportunity
to write theſe two or three Lines unobſerved :
Gueſs the Torment this Cruel Separation from you
occaſions me! I believe you will be equally affect-
ed, but ſtrive to forget an unfortunate Woman,
and be happy as your Deſerts can make you.
Your affectionate Friend,
KATH, MODIH,
1
'Twas a long Time before I could get over this
untoward Accident; my Nature ſoft and com-
paſionate, my Temper generous to an Exceſs,
gave me
more Diſturbance than can poſſibly
be iniagined: I curſed myſelf, as the Author of
her Misfortunes, and determined to take Ven-
geance on her Huſband; but the little Reaſon I
retained ſoon baniſhed ſuch Thoughts. I now
again returned to my old Acquaintance, who re-
ceived me as a Man riſen from the Dead, for I had
pracliſed the utmoſt Deceit with Prim and Prig,
and had made Shift to keep my Affair with Mrs.
Modiſh an abſolute Secret to every body. I min-
gled again in Noiſe, Folly, and Uproar, to get rid
F 3
of
102
The Life and Adventures
of
my
Uneaſineſs; for ſome Time, the Remern-
brance of this charming Woman made it very in-
fipid to me, but I foon became hardened againſt
Reflection. We all expreſſed an Inclination one
Day to viſit the Maſquerade, which about this
Time was a Diverſion very much admired; fo ac-
cordingly equipping ourſelves with proper Dreſſes,
Speculift, Prim, Prig, and myſelf, entered the groa
te que Aſſembly: Never was Surpriſe equal to
mine at the Oddity of the Sight, which I had en-
tertained no Notion of before; a Mixture of Beings,
of both Sexes, employed in all the ridiculous Mum-
mery that would only diſtinguiſh the Monkey
Race; Whiſpering, Nodding, luſcious Diſcourſe,
effenſive to Modeſty and good Manners, and, in
fhort, ſecure in their Diſguiſes, every one giving
a Looſe to the corrupted Dictates of their Hearts,
and throwing aſide every neceſſary. Reſerve. Prim
foon got to the Gaming-table, where in a Trice,
he emptied his Pockets, and came away curſing
bis ill Luck ; Speculift got into a Tete-a-tete Diſ-
courſe with a Coronet, with whom I ſaw him
leave the Place; but underſtood next Day, that
inſtead of a Counteſs, he was engaged with a
Woman of the Town, who had Dexterity enough
to make him ſpend a large Sum of Money, and,
in Return, tipped him the Favour of a Clap:
Prig exhauſted all the ill-natured Malignity of his
Heart in railing againſt the Company, and weg
both;
of JOE THOMPSON. 103
both heartily tired, came away together, and ad-
journed to the Tavern, where we were ſoon afier
joined by Prim, with a moſt deplorable Length of
Face, having loſt to the Tune of twenty Guineas;
and what made him the more uneaſy, was, that at
leaſt a Moiety of it was Caſh of his Maſter's. We
contrived ſoon to eaſe that part of his Pain, by
making the Sum up between us; and, having ſent
Home our Dreſſes, we ſupped, and retired to our
ſeveral Habitations, with an Appointment to be
next Day at Vauxhall, where I promiſed to engage
Speculift to accompany us.
At the Cloſe of the ſucceeding Day, when I
repaired to Mr. Speculift's, to procure his Company,
I found him ſo chagrined with his laſt Night's
Miſchance, that he reſolved to keep his Chamber
for fome Time; ſo leaving him, I repaired to the
Rendezvous, where I expected the other two; but
when I had waited a pretty while, and perceived
they neither of them came, I took Boat, and iin-
mediately rowed away for Vauxhall, reſolved not
to be baulked of the Pleaſure I expected that Night.
When we came oppoſite to Whitehall Stairs (as
I had not inſiſted upon going fingly in the Boat,
but had given the Waterman Liberty to take in
any Fare that might be agreeable to me) we were
plied by a very pretty, young Lady, attended by
a Footman in a green Livery; I gave her my Hand
to help her in, which ſhe accepted with the ut-
F 4
moſt
1
104
The Life and Adventures
-
moſt Good-nature, and we put off again to pur-
ſue our Voyage. To have ſeen this young Lady, ,
one would have imagined that ſhe was the God-
deſs of the Silver Stream ; 'twas impoffible to fur-
vey her, without feeling one's felf filled with the
higheſt Complacency and good Humour; ſuch an
irreſiſtible Sweetneſs played in her Features, that
would have foftened the Rigours of Pain, and
ſmoothed the Brow of Anguilh; her Modeſty
was unaccompanied with Affectation, and a ſingle
Look from her would have daſhed aſſuming Rude-
neſs. I thought myſelf entirely happy in having
fo gentle a Partner in my Boat, and ſtrove, by all
the little Civilities I was Maſter of, to make
nny
Companyand Converfation agreeable to her. When
we landed at Vauxhall, ſhe was received by a hand-
fome young Gentleman, who accoſted her with
fuch a becoming Tenderneſs, and who e Appear-
ance lighted up ſuch Satisfaction in her Eyes, that
I diſcovered, before they ſpoke, that the ſtridteſt
Ties bound them together. She very politely
jeturned me Thanks for my Company, which were
inforced by her happy Huſband in fo complaiſant
a Manner, that it almoſt raiſed Bluſhes in my
Face. Underſtanding we were all bound to the
fame Entertainment, he begged the favour of my
Company, which I was far from having the Power
to refuſe, they had gained ſuch an Aſcendent in
my good Opinion. The Diſcourſe of the Gentleman
was
mere
of joe THOMPSON. 105
+
was ſo judicious, and we were ſo mutually pleaſed
with each other, that it was with Reluctance we
parted, after ſome Time,when they left the Gardens,
giving me a Direction where they lived, and de-
firing me to call, and continue the Acquaintance.
I could not help envying the Happineſs of this
amiable Pair, Virtue ſat fo elegantly upon them,
without any of that diſpleaſing Stiffneſs, too often
the Attendant of ſtrict Morals, that I made many
mortifying Compariſons between my preſent State
and theirs, and indulged a few Moments Melan-
choly, upon my unhappy Turn of Mind; from
which I was awakened by an ambling Female,
who ſeemed to caſt a kind Regard upon me, as I
ſauntered down one of the Walks: I paſſed her,
we met again, I thought I diſcovered a certain Je-
ne-ſçai-quoi about her, that pleaſed me, tho' fhe
appeared to be turned of Thirty. I was reſolving
to make ſome Advances to a further Acquaintance,
when the accidentally ſtumbled within a few Paces
of me, and I eagerly ran to her Aihítance, and fup-
ported her in my Arms, the pretending to have
ſprained her Foot. I hope, Madam, you have not
received much Detriment? No, Sir, the replied, with
á Smile, I have no Pain, unleſs I am too trouble-
fome to ſo generous a Gentleman: I aſſure you, my
dear Creature, I rejoined, I am ever at the Service
of the Fair; and, as to the Trouble you fear to
have given me, it is your Fault if it is not repaid,
F 5
for
1
106 The Life and Adventures
for I muſt own I feel it very conſiderable ; but I
believe I had better conduct you to the next Seat,
that you may repoſe yourſelf after your Fright;
ſhe gave a ſilent Afſent with a Nod of her Head,
and I ſeated myſelf by her, and called for ſome Wine
and Sweetmeats, when, either by Deſign or Acci-
dent, ſhe ſpilt a Drop or two from her Glaſs upon
my Hand and Ruffle, which endeavouring to wipe
of with her Handkerchief, in the Contention be-
tween us, her Face was reclined ſo near to mine,
that I ſtole a ſudden Kiſs; at which ſhe bluſhed, and
feemed diſpleaſed; but, reſuming herſelf, would
have taken her Leave, under Pretence of being
fearful, left ſhe ſhould be diſcovered by any one
that knew her: Upon which, I propoſed to attend
her in a Walk thro' the Gardens, which, with a
fceming Reluctance, the permitted. At the Bote
tom of one of the Alleys ſhe was accoſted' very ca-
valierly by a young Fellow, under the Name of
Mrs. Tripſy; and, to my utter Surpriſe, I diſcovered
by ber Anſwer ſhe was certainly a Lady of a very
free Diſpoſition, that is to ſay, one of thoſe con-
venient and ready Commodities, that, without
ading like a common Woman, only receive Vi.
iicors at their Lodgings under the higheſt Notion
of Secrefy. We preſently, hereupon, grew very
familiar, and, in ſhort, I was fooliſh enough to
propoſe going home with her to Newington, where
He ſaid he lodged; and the was quickly prevailed
upon
of Joe THOMPSON.
107
upon to accept of my Company. Nothing ſure is
fo eminently calculated to foften the Mind, as
theſe Places of Harmony; they raiſe Inclinations,
in the moſt cold and frozen Conſtitutions, to all
the ſoft Inducements of Vice: 'Twas with no lit-
tle Shew of Reaſon that the famed Legiſlator ba-
niſhed Mufic out of his Commonwealth ; every
faſcinating Note opens the Breaſt to receive the Im-
preſſions of Pleaſure, and unmans the Soul, by pro-
pagating the enervating Weakneſs to which Hu-
man Nature is too ſubject. What Reſiſtance can
be made againſt the melting Concord of ſweet Sounds?
The Appearance of Beauty decked in all its wantoni
Attire, the infiaming Power of Wine, the verdant
Bower, the fanning Breeſe, conſpire to the
Deltruction of that Regularity of Conduct, that
nothing can atone the Tranſgreſſion of. 'Twas
pretty late before we departed; and as I had drank
freely, as well as my Miſtreſs, the Coach we hired,
for our Tour to her Apartments, excited De-
fires in me which were too powerful to be de.
layed, and called for a ſpeedy Enjoyment. We
were locked faſt in each other's Arms, when the
Coach ſtopped, and I could over-hear a Volley
of Oaths, from a Voice as hoarſe as a Boatſwain's,
and a Demand of a Woman, who he was ſure was
in that Coach, and was his B~h of a Wife :
I know there's a Fellow with her toog. continued
the Voice, but, by God, I'll ſpoil his Sport, he
F 6
ſhall
108 The Life and Adventures
fhall never caterwoul in my Territories again, }
warrant him; and, fo ſaying, pulled open the Coach-
Door. I had juſt recovered my Seat, when I was
attacked with a ſmart Blow of a Cudgel over my
Shoulders; and, at the ſame Time, Madam was
hauled out by main Force, and I jumped out after
her, and collared the Fellow; but, two or three more
coming up at the Inſtant, I received half a Dozei
S:rokes more, which levelled me with the Ground.
I had but juſt Strength enough left to aſk the
Meaning of all this, and, it being very dark, could
neither diſcover the Number nor Faces of my Al-
failants. Oh! Damn you, d’ye chatter, you
Dog, I'll give you your Hire before I have done
with you, ſays the ſame Voice; and as to you,
Madam, I refer your Punilhment till I get you
Home. The Woman then counterfeited Tears,
and vowed to her Huſband, as ſhe called him, that
I had forced her into the Coach with me; and, be-
fore I could appeal to the Coachman, I found he
was one of the Gang, and corroborated what the
faid. This Parley was finiſhed by ſo many Cuffs,
Kicks, and Baſtinadoes, that I fainted away; and,
how long I lay in that Condition, can't well de-
termine, but found myſelf, when I recovered my
Senſes, in the Arms of two or three Pallengers,
who happened to come that way, and had raiſed
me up, and wiped the Blood from my Face. I
had only my Breeches, Shoes, and Stockings on ;
my
of JOE THOMPSON. IG
-
#
i
my Coat, Waiſtcoat, Hat, Buckles, Gold-headed
Cane, and about four Guineas which I had in my
Pocket, were gone; therefore they made no En-
quiry after my Miſchance, perceiving I had fallen
into the Hands of Footpads; and I had no Incli-
nation to let them into the Truth of the Story. I
begged them to help me to ſome Houſe or other,
which they complied with ; and it proved to be a
little blind Tippling houſe, by the Side of the Road.
The Landlord was prevailed upon to lend me an
old Great-Coat, to go to London in, after leaving
my Stockings, which were Silk, as a Security for
the Return of it; otherwiſe, if I had died with
Cold, he could not have been moved to affiſt me.
'Twas near one in the Morning before I got to
Town, very faint, and hardly able to crawl; in
which Condition, not caring to go Home, I went
to Mr. Speculift's Lodgings, and found him juſt
come from the Tavern. After telling him my
Story, which ſuggeſted a good deal of Warning to
me, he got a Surgeon to look at my Wounds,
who found nothing that required more than the
Application of common Plaiſters; and, being an ho-
neft Man, did not attempt, by any unintelligible
Jargon, or the common Chicanery of the Profeſſion,
to make a Penny of my Cure. I flept very foundly
till Ten the next Morning, and found myſelf able
t) return to my Buſineſs. My Friend Diaper
was ſhocked at feeing the Change of my Dreſs,
fos
1
3
$
+
)
FTO
The Life and Adventures
for I had borrowed a Coat and Waiſtcoat of Spe-
culift; and ſeeing my Face bruiſed, and hearing
my Relation of being robbed and ſtripped, in which
I carefully concealed the Part that affected my own
Conduct, he would not ſuffer me to enter upon
Buſineſs, but inſiſted on my going immediately to
Bed, which I did accordingly. I had now ſufficient
Leifure to reflect on my numerous Follies, and the
Train of Miſchiefs they had ingendered; and muſt
confeſs my Actions at this Time appeared in ro
abſurd a Light, that no Words can expreſs the
Confuſion and diſordered Shame that aroſe in
my Breaft. I reſolved, if poſſible, to forſake fuch
pernicious Courſes for the Future, and was thus
running on in Self-accuſations, when Prim entered
my Chamber, all pale and wan, and with a Coun-
tenance that betrayed the utmoſt Diſorder of Mind.
I was ſtartled to ſee it, and aſked, haaily, what
brought him there, and what was the Matter?
Alas! Joe, ſays he, I'm ruined for ever : You re-
member I was to have met you laſt Night, inſtead
of which that Devil Prig tempted me to go to
the Gaming-table, where I was fleeced of above
fifty Pounds, which was moſt of it my Maſter's
Money: He demanded it of me this Morning;
I had no Excuſe to make, and was obliged to con-
feſs the Truth: My Father was ſent for, and the
Reſult is, that I am going to Sea, to expiate my
Crimes. I am now returning Home, and ſhall
hardly
1-
4:
of JOE THOMPSON. II'r
!
Hardly ſee you again before I go : God bleſs you,
my Friend, take Warning by my unhappy Fate,
and leave off Courſes of Extravagance, that can
never fail of the moſt dreadful Conſequences. In
ſaying this, he let fall a Shower of Tears, and
my
Heart was too full for Utterance: We embraced,
and took a Farewel, very likely for ever.
The
Misfortune of this young Fellow increaſed my
Chagrine: Bating the Follies he was guilty of, he
had every good Quality to recommend him. I
heartily ſympathiſed in his Trouble, and formed
to myſelf ftill ſtronger Reſolutions of Amend-
ment.
For a Week after this Accident I lived regularly,
and ſtuck cloſe at Home; my Friend, charmed
with this Appearance of Reforination, was quite
befide himſelf with Joy, and ſtudied to oblige me
in every Thing; but I foon diſcovered that my
laſt Amour had left a latent Poiſon in my Blood,
that began to fhew itſelf with very frightful Symp-
toms: I applied to a Surgeon, and it was his Advice
that I ſhould undergo a Salivation, without which,
he aſſured me that I could never be perfectly cured.
This Sentence diſtracted me; I curſed myſelf, and
the Cauſe of my Sufferings ; I was almoſt in the
Mind to diſpatch myſelf out of the Way; I could
apprehend no means of keeping the ſcandalous Af-
fair from being made public, to my utter Diſgrace,
and the Ruin of my Reputation ; but Providence
3
kindly
112
The Life and Adventures
kindly took my Part, and put it into the Head of
my Friend to propoſe my taking a Country Jour-
ney of a Week, or ſo, for my Health, which was
now viſibly impaired, tho' he was far from gueſſing
the Reaſon: I accepted the Liberty with Grati-
tude, and reſolved to make it ſubſervient to my
Cure; accordingly, having put my Horſe, which
he lent me, to Livery, I took a Lodging at Hoxton,
and the Surgeon began his Operations, providing
a Nurſe, and every Thing neceſſary. Notwith-
ſtanding the perpetual Perturbations of my Soul, I
went thro' the Buſineſs with great Safety, and
got up in three Weeks quite recovered of the vile
Diſtemper, but ſo weakened, that I was hardly
able to ftir. It was neceſſary I ſhould ſtay fonie
Time to recruit my Strength, but my Money ran
fhort, and it was impoſſible for me to procure a
Supply without hazarding a Diſcovery: In ſhort,
I was reduced to the greatest Miſery and Diſtreſs;
every Thing valuable about me went, one after
another, to the Pawn. Brokers, and at laſt my
Watch, on which I procured two Guineas; and
having recovered Strength enough, tho' not my
Complexion, I was reſolved to be confined no
longer : fo diſcharging my Lodging, I kept juſt
five Shillings in my Pocket; but now my Horſe
muſt be paid for, before I could have him to make
a Semblance of returning from the Country; I
was here quite nonpluffed ; at length it entered into
my
}
و
of Joe THOMPSON. 113
my Head, that I might perhaps be lucky at the
Gaming-table in Covent-garden, where I had ſeen
Perſons that brought in a few Shillings carry off
Pounds; the Suggeſtion was tempting, and I im-
mediately obeyed it.
When I came into this School of Villainy, I
could not help employing a few Minutes in ſur-
veying the Group of Figures that crouded about the
Tables,
.
Some to undo, and ſome to be undone,
As the Poet ſays : That rapacious Eagerneſs and
Avidity, the different Diſtortions of the Adven-
turers, ſhewn in their Faces, and the ſudden Starts
of Joy, or Ravings of Deſpair on the ſeveral
Turns of Fortune, made me ſtrongly conceive
the pernicious Effe&s of this Vice, both to the
Mind and Body: Here was a Creature chinking
his ill gotten Treaſure, and dancing about the
Room in Extaſies of Gladneſs; but foon behold
what a Change! he is ſtripped by a Turn of Luck,
and loſes his laſt Shilling; he flings the Balls
into the Fire, ſtamps, raves, curſes his Folly,
and acts over the perfect Madman; Blaſphemies
and Execrations, enough to fill the Soul with Hor-
ror, eccho throughout the Room; and a conſtant
Buz and Tumult is heard on every Side: Envy,
Hatred, Malice, Revenge, and all the unfociable
and unamiable Paffions, here reign in their ge-
&
nuine
I14
The Life and Adventures
nuine Deformity. I was lucky enough to win
three cr four Pounds at the Silves-table, after fe-
veral Turns of Fortune, but could not be contented,
and removed to the Gold-table, where, in the
Twinkling of an Eye, I loſt again every Shilling
in my Pocket. I was perfectly diſtracted, and was
fo abominably imprudent, that I returned to the
Silver-table again, and laid five Shillings to four,
tho? I had not one Farthing about me, truſting en-
tirely to good Luck; but I was woefully deceived,
and not being able to pay what I had loſt, not-
withitanding all my Excuſes, two or three Fellows
diſgracefully carried me to the Stairs, and, by the
Vote of the whole Company, kicked me down
from Top to Bottom, where the Attendants turned
me out of Doors. As I had received no Hurt, I
thought myſelf tolerably well off, tho' I was exa
tremely mortified: What to do now I could not
tell : but, thinking I ſhould meet with ſome Ac-
quaintance or other, I ſtrolled over to Tom King's :
Here the Scene was ſomewhat changed, in one Core
ner two or three drunken Sleepers, ſnoaring away
their Load of Liquor ; here a Group of Rakes in
laſcivious Diſcourſe, and wanion Attitude, with
half a Dozen Whores ; oihers, of both Sexes,
poaching after Game; Brawling and Wrangling
at one Box; Curfing and Swearing at another;
at this part of the Room a pair of Boxers dealt
Luſty Blaws on each other's Chops, whilſt ſome
dirty
of JOE THOMPSON. 115
dirty Devil of a Proſtitute remained the Prize of
him who had the Fortune to overcome his Anta-
goniſt; at another Part, two or three Viragoes were
demoliſhing each other's Coifs, and rooting up
their Hair, inſpired by ſome ſudden Guft of Jea-
louſy. 'Twas for fome Time before I caſt my
Eyes on any body I knew; at laſt, who ſhould I
diſcover, but Prig, as drunk as David's Sow, re-
tailing out Law to an Audience of Market Women
and Porters, who were going to fetch a Warrant
for ſome poor Wretch from the Juſtice? He was
overjoyed to ſee me, and, taking Advantage of
his uſual good Humour, in his Cups, I borrowed
three Pieces of him, and then adjourned, without
taking Leave, to the Inn where my Horſe ſtood,
where I went to Bed, after the moſt fatiguing, un-
happy, and mortifying Day, that I ever paſſed in
my Life.
Next Morning I took a Tour round the neigh-
bouring Villages, and came Home as juſt alighted
from a Journey; and, tho’my Stay had been ſo very
long, I was received by my young Maſter with
the higheſt Tokens of Friendſhip and Kindneſs.
1
CH A P:
.
116
The Life and Adventures
CH A P. XIV.
Packer wrongs his Maſter, and is diſcharged. .
--Diſcovers Thompſon's Practices to Mr.
Diaper.
Generous Behaviour of young
Diaper.--He reſcues him from Robbers.-
Bravery of Prig.--He is highly careſſed by
bis Maſter and Miſtreſs.
OON after my Return Home, an Affair hap-
pened that gave my Maſter a great deal of
Trouble and Concern ; Packer, our Journeyman,
with whom I had ſeldom held any Converſation
ſince I diſcovered his ill Uſage of me, and who,
on bis Part, behaved with great Civility, accom-
panied with a diſtant Reſerve, had been frequently
employed, in my Abſence, in receiving Money of
our Town Cuſtomers, which uſed to be conſtantly
my Department. It happened, that the Day after
my Arrival I was ſent to a Retailer’s Shop to re-
ceive a ſmall Sum of Money which was become due,
to the Amount of twenty-eight Pounds; but they
informed one that Mr. Packer had received it a
Week before : I had no Suſpicion upon this, but
only imagined that he had forgot to ſettle the
Book, which occaſioned me to think it was ſtill
due. I came Home, and told Packer of his Neg-
lect, which he ſeemed to be ſorry for, and went
directly
of Joe THOMPSON.
117
directly and entered the Sum on the Credit Side of
the Account. As we were at Dinner, I informed
my
Friend what Buſineſs I had done, and, amongſt
the reft, mentioned the Error I had been led into,
hoping our Cuſtomer would not be diſobliged at
it. He ſeemed quite ſurpriſed, and proteſted that
Packer had never brought the Money on Account.
He very ſeldom dined with us, having the Privi-
Jedge to board himſelf at a Siſter's he had, that kept
an Houſe not far from us; and therefore we car.
ried on the Diſcourſe ſomewhat further, and both
agreed in obſerving that he had been very melan-
choly, and, as it were, out of himſelf for ſome
Time paſt. It directly jumped into my Thoughts,
that he was carrying on no good Deſign, which I
had more Reaſon to imagine than any one ; but,
however, I would not ſtrengthen Mr. Diaper's
Suſpicions, but propoſed to go to all the Cuſtomers
in Town, and ſee iſ we could gather any further
Tokens of Infidelity ; which my Friend agreed to
and I put in Execution that very Afternoon. Upon
the whole Scrutiny, we found he had received in
all fixty eight Pounds more than he had accounted
for, which made my young Mafter vaftly uneaſy,
and not a little diſturbed me; for, on the one
Hand, I loved Mr. Diaper and his Family too
well to be unconcerned at ſuch a Diſcovery; and,
on the other, I feared, when Things came to Ex-
tremity, Packer might be Villain enough to hin:
at
IS The Life and Adventures
1
1
1
at ſome Particulars in my Conduct that would very
greatly ſink me in their opinion. My Friend
reſolved to ſet out that Evening, tho' very late,
to impart the Matter to his Father, defiring me
to behave as uſual, and not to ſeem to know any
Thing of what he was going upon, at ſo unſeaſon-
able and unuſual an Hour. Gueſs the Altoniſh-
ment of our Maſter! when his Son made known
to him the Diſhoneſty of Packer, he could ſcarce
credit him; and, had he not been armed with the
moſt convincing Proofs of his Treſpaſs, he would
almoſt have thought it a Forgery, ſuch an Afcen-
dency he had gained over him by his Affectation of
Religion and Sobriety. When he was thoroughly
convinced, he ſet out for Town, and arrived at
Home at about Eight o’Clock in the Morning, to
the Surpriſe of all the Family, but to the utter
Diſcompoſure of poor Packer, whoſe Condition I
heartily piticd, notwithſtanding the Reaſon I had to
deteſt him. At the Diſtance of an Hoyr or two
after his Arrival, he ordered him to appear before
him, and what paffed we could not learn, only he
was diſmiſſed from his Place, but in ſo conſiderate
a Manner, as not to drive him to any deſperate
Sally of Raſhneſs. I could perceive the Tears
trickle from his Eyes; but, as I feared it would
look like an Infult upon his Misfortunes, had I
taken any Notice of him, I retired till he was gone.
My Maſter then caigd up his Son and me, and ad-
drefled
of JOE THOMPSON.
II
dreſſed us thus: I am ſorry for this poor Wretch;
certain unhappy Habits he has contracted have
brought him thus to betray my Confidence; but
I hope my Lenity, and the Inſtructions I have
given him, will prevent his total Ruin. What
ſurpriſed me greatly, Child, applying himſelf to
me, was, that he gave me ſome Hints that you
had (werved from thoſe excellent Principles you
imbibed from your Father, and have even ſhewn
a Neglect of my Buſineſs : I muſt own I am ap-
prehenſive the Share you had in the Detection of
his Knavery put him, unhappy Creature, upon this
Accufation. Depend upon it, Sir, ſays my Friend,
that muſt be the Caſe, for Mr. Thompſon is ſo
conſtantly in my Company, that .nothing of that
Nature coulj liave happened without my Know-
ledge and Participation. Why, that's the very
Reaſon for my Diſbelief, replies the worthy Gen-
tleman, nor will I give Way to any Surmiſes to
your Prejudice: Go on, young Man, to deſerve
my Eſteem, and to purſue Maxins of Virtue and
Prudence, which will not fail of endearing you to
all good Men, and eſtabliſh a Peace and Harmony
of Mind, that no Accident, in future Life, will
have the power to deſtroy: He then gave us both
fume excellent Lellons of Advice; and, after leav-
ing Orders relative to Buſineſs, returned to his
Country-Houſe. When he was gone, I took my
generous Friend in my Arms, and was fo over-
come
120
The Life and Adventures
come with this Teſtimony of his Goodneſs and
Affection, that I even ſhed Tears, which flowed
from the pureſt Gratitude: He accepted my Ac-
knowledgments with a becoming Reluctancy, and
aſſured me nothing ſhould ever deſtroy his Regard
for me, which he hoped in Time would entirely
help to ſeparate me from thoſe Haunts, and thoſe
Friendſhips, that would not fail of being my
Undoing.
I became now more circumſpective in my Con-
duct, and kept very regular Hours, and found a
greater Reliſh for the Society of my friend, who
did and ſaid every Thing he could to engage me to
put a Confidence in him and diſcloſe my Situation.
Gratitude, that inherent Principle of a worthy
Breaſt, kept me ſteady to my Duty; nothing could
ever rob me of that arniable Incentive, which frill
directed my Actions in a faint and concealed Der
gree in my worſt Lapſes ; nay, this very Principle
engaged me the firſt Opportunity I had to call up-
on Prig, who now kept Chambers in New Inn, to
repay my Obligation to him. He recollected it
next Morning; fo, in balancing Accounts, I paid
him thirty Shillings, which were due to him, and
was overperſuaded to go with him to Chelſea, up-
on a Party of Pleaſure, of which he affured me
only two other male Friends would partake.
We ſpent the Evening there in high Glee, and
did not ſet out for London till near Midnight, and
Were
of Joe THOMPSON.
I 21
were gaily diſcourſing along the firſt of the five
Fields, when we overheard ſeveral Blows given,
accompanied with Oaths and Curſes, and a Voice
which methought I was well acquainted with,
calling out for Help and Alliſtance. Our two
Friends, immediately concluding it was ſomebody at-
tacked by Robbers, crying out, It will be our Turn
next, and ſo the Devil take the hindmoſt, run away;
but, encouraging Prig, I told him, I was reſolved
to ſee what was the Matter ; in which he ſeconded
me, for a Want of Courage was not one of his
Foibles. I was induced to this Raſhneſs by the
Sound of the Voice, which again and again was re-
peated, and, how improbable ſoever it appeared, I
could not for my Soul conceive it to be other than
that of my dear Friend Diaper. I was armed with
a large Oak-ſtick, and Prig had a Sword by his
Side, which not being ſkilled in the Uſe of, he
put into my Hand, and took the Cudgel in Ex-
change. We were ſome Time before we reached
the Spot whence the Noiſe proceeded, which we no
otherwiſe diſcovered, for it was dark as Pitch, than
by a Challenge of, D- ye, who are you? Friends,
What's the Matter, we replied; and, in Anſwers
a Piſtol was ſnapped at us, which flaſhed in the
Pan without any Exploſion ; by which Light diſ-
covering three Fellows, I lunged at the firſt with
iny Sword, and heard a Groan, after having
with ſome Difficulty recovered it, and perceived
l'ol, I.
G
it
1 2 2
1 The Life and Adventures
it was wet. Prig gave and received ſeveral Blows,
when ſuddenly our Antagoniſts took to their Hecls
and Aed; we thought it to no Purpoſe to purſue them,
but enquired, if any one was there who had been
ill uſed by the Villains ? Nobody anſwered, and,
groping about, I ſtumbled over a Man, who we
made no Doubt was murdered, and were going
back to the Town to get ſome Help, if peradven-
ture any Signs of Life remained; when a Groan or
two, and a Struggle, as if from Throttling, proceeda
ed from the Corpſe: We then determined to bear
him between us, as it was not above two Fields off,
rather than delay Alliſtance till our Return: Aca
cordingly we, in about half an Hour, broughe
him to a Public houſe; but oh, good God! what
where my Griefs, when, upon bringing him in-
to the Light, we diſcovered it to be Mr. Diapers
my excellent Friend, Streams of Blood running
in plentcoys Currents down his Face and Bofoin.
Leaving him in the Care of Prig and the Landlord
and Landlady, 1 ran with all Haſte imaginable for
a Surgeon, and luckily found one at Home, and
upon Coming back he had recovered his Sen-
ſes, to my very great Joy: He fixed his Eyes ups
on us, and juſt reached out bis Hand to me, which
I took and bathed with my Tears, but could not
utter a Syllable. On ſearching for his Wounds,
the Surgeon found none dangerous, the great Flux
of Blood proceeding from his Head, which was
cut
of JOE THOMPSON.
1 2 3
cut in ſeveral Places as with a Hanger, but Nant-
ways; and ſeveral Contuſions he had received on
his Shoulders, Breaſt, and Sides. We aſked, if it
would be improper to remove him ſo far as his own
Houſe? But the Surgeon apprehending no Danger
in it, and he ſignifying his Deſire, having juſt re-
covered his Voice, to be removed there, we pro-
cured a Sedan from my Lord's, and brought
him fafe into the City, myſelf, Prig, and two or
three Men we had hired, ſerving as a Guard. His
Wounds were dreſſed at Chelſea, and therefore,
without any Delay, we got him into a warm Bed,
which, with the Motion he had juſt received by the
Chair, foon brought him to the perfect Uſe of his
Faculties. It is impoſſible to deſcribe bis grateful
Returns for the Succour we had afforded him, and
the Embraces he beſtowed upon mein Particular
for my Part, I thought it the moſt happy and
providential Accident that ever befel me, for
no Manner of Doubt could have been made, that
theſe Robbers intended to butcher him, being irri-
tated by a ſtout Reſiſtance which he had made till
overcome by Numbers, having a great Charge a-
bout him; it coming into his Head that Even-
ing to call on a Cuſtomer at Cheljea, where he
had been induced to ſtay fo late, after having re-
ceived a large Bill, by the preſſing Sollicitations of
bis kind Hoft. This Affair could not be concealed
from my Maſter and his Mother, who hurried up
G 2
124
Tbe Life and Adventures
to Town frighted out of their Wits at the News of
their Son's Diſaſter ; but, when they underſtood
how wonderfully Providence had interpoſed in his
Safety and Deliverance, they were all Admiration ;
they embraced me, and my Maſter told me, this
Circumſtance had ſo encreaſed his Value for me,
that he loved me little leſs than his own Son, whom
I had fo bravely and ſo like a true Friend reſcued
from Defti uction. Their Acknowledgments to
Prig were unbounded, who was greatly delighted ;
which gave me more Eſteem for him than ever, at
the Service he had rendered this worthy Family.
The next Day we ſaw an Account in the Paper
of this Robbery, and that a Man was found dead
in the Field, who had received his niortal Wound
by the Thrult of a Sword ; upon which my Maſter
went with Mr. Prig to ſee if they could make any
Diſcovery ; but returned without any other Satif-
faction that that this muſt be the Man whom I had
run through the Body. My Friend had only loſt
five Guineas and ſome Silver out of his left
Breeches-pocket, our ſeaſonable Interpofing having
ſaved the Money he had received, amounting to
near an Hundred and Fifty Pounds. I was with
him almoſt continually, and his Friendihip to me
was lo increaſed, that he was never happy, when
I was abſent,
1
С НАР.
of JOE THOMPSON.
12'5
CHAP. XV.
Diſcourſe between him and young Diaper.
They are tricked by Gamblers.--He borrowes
Money. - Is ſcurvily uſed by Speculift.-
A Diſcovery, which ſurpriſes bim.
A
S ſoon as my Friend was tolerably well,
his Father, willing to give him an Oppor-
tunity for a little Recreation, ſtaid fome Time in
Town, and permitted us to take what innocerit
Diverſions we had an Inclination to ; amongſt o-
thers, we frequently took Excurſions on Foot, in-
to the Country, without determining upon ang
particular Rout, ſometimes rambling in one Direc-
tion, over Hledge and Ditch, and ſometimes in ano-
ther, entertained with the Profufion of Sweets
that Nature had beſtowed on the Fields and Meads,
with ſuch a liberal Hand, and the variegated Beau-
ties of the Seaſon: It was in there Walks that I
unbofomed myſelf to this excelent Youth, and
gave him a Detail of all my Follies, from my firſt
Stepping aſide from Virtue to the preſent Time.
He helped me to make many uſeful Reflections on
the Vanity and faral Conſequences of ſuch a rakit
and abandoned Courſe of Life; but, my oey, faj's
he, one Day, you won't be furpriſed, when I ac-
quaint you, that I knew moſt of theſe Particulars
long
G 3
125 The Life and Adventures
long ago; but diffembled my Knowledge of thein,
depending, that, one Time or other, your good
Onſe would get the upper Hand of your Foibles,
which, if they had met with Oppoſition or Upbraid-
ings, would perhaps have only been ſtrengthened
by it. Paiker was ſo great a Villain, as to betray
your Intercourſe with Nanny, very much to your
Diſadvantage, without making any Mention of him-
felf;--but only as a Matter of his Obſervatione
I deſpiſed his malicious Inſinuations, for ſuch I
judged they were; but was concerned for your Si-
tuation. As to other Matters in your Conduct, I
have gathered them from your own Behaviour, your
Shunning my Company, the Einbarraſſment you
was generally under ; but more particularly the
Company you kept eaſily let me into the Manner of
your ſpending your Time, and the Nature of your
Diverſions: But tell me now ſincerely, my Friend,
was not your generous Temper ſhocked at the Idea
of being involved in a Courſe of Life that was ab-
ſolutely contradictory to your own fober Think-
ing, and put you to the Neceſſity of making Con-
cealments, and acting under a Cloud in every Thing?
I am amazed, for my Part, when I reflect upon
your Difficulties and the Breaches you muſt make
in Truth, in order to keep up Appearances; which
Endeavour is a plain Proof that you were ſenſible
you was carrying on Schemes directly oppoſite to
the received Opinions of Mankind, and thoſe De-
corums
of JOE THOMPSON. 127
corums that the moſt Profigate are willing to com-
ply with for their own Sakes, and to avoid public
Cenſure and Reproach. Indeed, Sir, I replied,
you are making a very juſt Judgment of my Sicua-
tion, and nothing could be more miſerable; my
depraved Appetites bore down my Reaſon, and a
Habit of purſuing falſe Pleaſure intoxicated me to
fuch a Degree, that it made a Moment's Reflection
uneaſy. Unhappy is that Man, who bears about
him a thorough Conviction of what is regular and
fit, and, at the ſame Time, tranſgreſſes againſt
his Knowledge, and even the Bent of his natural
Diſpoſition ! I perceived I was affronting myſelf in
every Thing I did, and yet ſo powerful was Paffiory
and overbearing Appetite, that I had it not in my
Power to ſtem the Torrent of Vice that fowed in
on every Side. Alas! my dear Friend, you are
not acquainted with the Hell ſuch a Man carries
about him, ever refolving to forſake his Ways, and
yet every Moment more and more entangled. I
believe I ſhould have forſaken nry Follies very often,
upon the Pain the various Diſaſters and Scrapes
they brought me into occafioned; but there a Kind
of Pride oppoſed me: No, I cried, if I return to
Virtue by ſuch a Chagrine, I have no Merit in it;
I ought not to give her a Triumph from the Uls
her Enemy brings upon me, but for her own Sake,
and giving her the Honour of making a Conqueft
over my Soul, by the Force of her pure and undif..
ſembler
G4
12S The Life and Adventures
(
ſembled Charms, without the Inducements of Sors
Fow, Pain, or Ill-nature, I felt in tranfgrefſing her
Precepts. By this Time we had entered the Town,
which broke off our Diſcourſe. We were going thro'
Old-Street, when a Quarrel between three or four
well dreſſed Men engaged our Attention; one of
thein, in particular, ſeemed to look like a reſpon-
fible Tradeſman, and had abundant Gravity, and
Seriourcefs in his Countenance; who ſeemed to
regard us with a great deal of Curioſity, ever and
anon calting his Eyes at us with a Kind of eager
Penetration. His Antagoniſts foon left him, before
we could gather the Meaning of the Diſpute, and
went into a Public houſe in the Neighbourhood,
whilft he addreſſed his Diſcourſe to us ſeemingly
in a very great Ferment. . Gentlemen, ſays he,
you look like Men of Honour; I know you, Mr.
Diaper, and have a great Friendſhip for your Fa-
ther; theſe Villains, I can call them no better,
have inveigled me into a Game at Cards, and have
stripped me of ſeven or eight Guineas; I am ſure
they could not win it fairly: I can't imagine what
could rob me of my Senſes ſo much as to engage with
them, and I can't prevail upon the Man of the
Houſe to fetch a Conſtable, otherwiſe I would ſee
to the Bottom of their Roguery, and puniſh them
for the Good of other unwary People that may
chance to fall in their Way; there's a Neſt of
them. I believe that infeft all parts of the Town:
I will,
of Joe THOMPSON. 129
I wiſh, Gentlemen, ſays he, in a half Whiſper, you
would ſtep in to them and engage them to ſtay till
I return with an Officer; here is a couple of Guineas,
pleaſe to take it, Sir, and whatever you loſe more, in
the mean Time, to detain them, I will return it you.
again; the Good of the Public I would buy at any
Price: It was impoſſible to refuſe him this Favour, he
preſſed us ſo cloſely, and we had a Curioſity likewiſe
to ſee the Tricks of this. Sort of Folks, of whom
we heard every Day ſuch odd Accounts; and, ac-
cordingly, begging him not to ſtay long, becauſe
our Time was precious, we went into the Houſe.
We found them railing againſt our Employer in
the bittereſt Terms;, one ſaid, he was a Preſbyte.
rian Parſon; no, damn the preaching Puppy, ſays
another, he is an Oilman in Cheapfide, and a de
vilith rich Fellow ; let him be what he will, ſays a
Third, he deſerves to be puniſhed for charging
Gentlemen with unfair. Practices, who are as
good Men as himſelf, and then went on to tell us
a long Story of the Games they had plaid; after
which, they ſaid, one and all, that they would go :
What fignifies ſtaying, Mr. Biſhop, ſays one to ano-
ther, it is late in the Evening now, without
play a Rubber or two at Cribbidge? What do you
ſay, Gentlemen, ſhall we make Four? We aſſented,
and it came to our Lot to be Partners; we played
three or four Games and won, at which they ſeem-
ed to be wonderouſly vexed, and then Fortune
changed.
you will
G 5
130
The Life and Adventures
changed unperceivably, and we not only loſt the
good Man's two Guineas, but two more to it,
which chagrined us fo, that we ſet in Earneſt to
take our Revenge; but it was all the ſame, we loſt
a Guinea and an Half more; when one of them,
getting up, ſeemed to recollect a Piece of Buſineſs
he had forgot, and ſaid, he could ſtay no longer,
but would return again in half an Hour; however,
he did not come in an Hour; and, the old Gentle.
man not returning, we grew impatient, and more
f) when, maugre all our Intreaties, the reſt bruſhed
of one after another. The Landlord then accoft-
ed us, and aſked us, Gentlemen, do you know
what a Set of People you have been converſing
with? We told him, Yes, and the Reaſon why
we engaged with them; at which he could not for-
bear burſting into a loud Laughter, and told usg,
that grave Perſon was one of the Gang, and, no
doubt, had at once contrived this Scheme to take
us in. It is impoſible to expreſs our Spleen at this
News; we were almoſt ready to accuſe one ano-
ther, and fell upon the Man of the Houſe for not
giving us an Hint fooner: Lack-a-day, Sir, ſays
he, if they were to diſcover me in giving any ſuch
Intelligence, I ſhould be murdered; they are the
clofeſt and moſt impudent Gang of Villains in the
World, and appear in all Diſguiſes.
We had no
Remedy, and went Home full of Diſpleaſure, tho'
we could not help ſmiling at the Trick that had
been
of Joe THOMPSON.
136
been played us. Nobody can guard too much a-
gainſt ſudden Prepoffeffions in a Man's Favour, as
the World is at preſent ſituated, for ſuch People
make it their Bufineſs to know every body, Wit-
neſs this Fellow's Pretences to Acquaintance with
my Maſter, which was what moſt deceived us; the
Quarrel had only been a Sham to draw ſome un-
wary Perſon into their Company, and the Sight of
us directed him to this Expedient. We could not
help telling Mr. Diaper, when we came Home, of
this Adventure, at which he was highly diverted, and
took Occaſion to caution us againſt the Tricks of
the Town, which are every Day put in Practice.
I now quite loft my Inclination to the Life I had
led, and ſeriouſly applied myſelf to Buſineſs, ſel-
dom ſtirring out, except now and then to meet
Speculiſt and Prig, with whom I ſtill kept up a
Correſpondence; but I was harraſſed inceſſantly
with Duns, my late Extravagancies having left
nothing in the Hands of Mr. Deacon, whom I had
ſo diſobliged alſo, by refraining from viſiting him,
that I had not the Face to all him to advance Mo-
ney, before it was due. My Shoe-maker, Taylor,
nay, even my Shoc-blacker, became importunate,
ſo that I was forced to undergo the Drudgery of
promiſing, this Time and that Time, and t'other,
to pay them, without a Poſſibility of performing
my Engagements; which, as they thought I ne-
G6
ves
132
The Life and Adventures
ver wanted. Money, they interpreted much to my:
Diſadvantage. It would be full half a Year, be-
fore I could receive any part of my Stipend, and I
did not care to expoſe my Wants to my Friend :
What to do to releaſe myſelf from theſe Vexati-
ons I could not tell, and was forced to borrow.
Sum after Sum of Speculiſt and Prig, which they
began to grow uneaſy about: Nay, at Times I
borrowed of others of my Acquaintance, ſo that
I was hardly able to thew my Head. In this Di-
lemma I called on Speculift, who I always thought
had a peculiar Value for me, and, knowing he did
not want Money laid my Trouble before him,
and deſired bim to let me have as much as would
ſatisfy my other Creditors, upon giving him a
Draught upon Mr. Deacon, for my yearly Allow-
ance as faſt as it became due ; but, how was I afto-
niſhed, when he broke out into this Speech : Look
ye, Mr. Thompſon, I don't care to truſt you any
farther, and can't imagine what you do with your
Money; for my Part, I have no more than is ne-
ceſſary for my own Occaſions, and can't ſupply you
any longer, nor do I deſire any more of your Com-
pany: I have fallen under a great deal of Cenfure
already, by converſing with young Fellows that
are not at their own. Hands, and I have loſt Mo-
ney by that Scoundrel Prim, who is now gone
Clerk to the Captain of an Eaft- Indiaman, and I
believe will never have the Honeſty to repay me a
Farthings
of Joe THOMPSON.
33.3
Farthing; you ſhould apply to your Relations I.
think; here, interrupting him, I told him, I
was forry that I had put it into his power to make
me theſe Reproaches, tho' I was glad thereby
I had diſcovered his Temper; which would give
me a greater Surfeit of the Ways he had introdu-
ced me to, and been a conſtant Partaker of with
me, than the moſt heightened Eloquence that could
be employed: I put him in Mind of that univerſal
Benevolence and Kindneſs he was always incul.
cating; tho' I was a Fool to regard it or think it
fincere, as, before now, I might have obſerved him
contradict it in all his Actions, had I not been to-
tally blind : I find, Mr. Speculift, I added, you
can perceive the Beauty of a right Behaviour, when
exerciſed towards yourſelf, but not when it is re-
quired of you, or puts you to any Pains or Expen-
ces; and am now. thoroughly convinced of the
Uſefulneſs and beautiful Inſtruction conveyed in
theſe Words, by the Son of Sirach... “ If thou
wouldeſt get a Friend, prove him firſt, and be
“ not hoſty to credit him: For ſome Man is a
“ Friend for his own Occaſion, and will not abide in
“ the Day of thy Trouble. And there is a Friend,
“ who, being turned to Enmity and Strife, will dif-
« cover thy Reproach. If thou be brought low, he will
“ be againſt thee, and hide himſelf. from tby Face.”
Indeed, could I expect any other, when ours was a
Friendſhip like a Conſpiracy in Vice, and Leagues
of
134
The Life and Adventures
of Pleaſure, as Mr. Addiſon ſays ? He was ſtruck
dumb with this juſt Retaliation upon him, and I
left him with all the Marks of Fury in his Coun-
tenance. I muſt own I was ſhocked at the Inſolence
of this Man, and his Uſage of poor Prim, who, by.
the bye, I knew, owed him little or nothing, ſhew-
ed him to me in his proper Colours. I was re-
folved to avoid ſuch Companions for the Future,
and was returning Home, deeply involved in Self-
accuſation, when a a tumultuous Uproar, at the
Corner of a Street I was to paſs thro', made a Stop,
and I diſcovered the Occaſion to be, that a Wou.
man had been detected in picking a Pocket, and
was put into the Hands of the Mob for due Diſci.
pline: She was cleanly dreſſed, and betrayed To.
kens of the greateſt Fear and Terror ; but my Eyes
had no fooner faftened upon her, than I recollec-
ted the very Features of the Quondam Mrs. Trip-
ſey, who had ſerved me ſuch a foul Trick in my
Return from Vauxhall.. As my Reſentment had
long ſubſided, I regarded her as an Object of Com-
paffion, and would have prevailed on the People to
carry her before a Magiſtrate; but the Proſecutor
could not be found, and therefore it was in vain to
plead for Mercy, and ſhe was feverely ducked in
the Horſe-pond of a neighbouring Inn, and then
turned adrift in a moft uncomfortable Condition.
I marked which way ſhe went, and followed her
for néar half an Hour, till the poor Wretch got in-
.
of Joe THOMPSON.
135
:
to the Fields, with an Intent to dry her Cloaths,
and then hipped after her: She turned about, but
no ſooner diſcovered me, than ſhe gave a Shriek,
and was making all the Hafte to run from me;
but I overtook her, and telling her, I meant her no
Harm, ſhe became tolerably calm: I told her, ſhe
might well fear the Conſequences of my ſeeing her,
but, as I had juſt feen her puniſhed for anocher
Crime, I would wave my Reſentment, if ſhe would
let me know where to get my Cane again, which
I very much valued. She wept and thanked me,
but aſſured me it had been fold with my other
Things by her male Accomplices, ſhe knew not
where. I then laid before her her vile and wretch-
ed Manner of Life, and the Conſequences it would
in the End produce, with which ſhe ſeemed af-
fected, and, giving her a ſmall piece of Money, was
going away; but the begged me to ſtay a Minute
or two, for ſhe had ſomewhat to impart to me
that might be of Service. The Villain, Sir, that
paſſed for my Huſband, and robbed
you that Night
I was in the Coach with you, is dead; he was run
thro' the Body by ſome Gentlemen who came up
to the Reſcue of another he had attacked in a
Field near Chelſea. How ! ſays I, is what you ſay
true? Yes, Sir, ſhe replied, fomewhat alarmed at
my Starting, he was, I aflure I was unhappily
ruined by that Man, who brought me, thro' a Se-
ries of Misfortunes and Diſtreſs, to aid him in his
you :)
wicked
136 The Life and Adventures
>
wicked Courſes; he was at Vauxhall, during the
whole Time of our Converſation there, and the
Coach I called was driven by a Fellow of the Gang,
who plied for the Purpoſe of aſſiſting us in any
ſuch Attempt as that I made on you. But what I
want to inform you is this, Sir, that the Gentleman,
who was robbed at Chelſea, is a great Linnen-
Draper in the City, with whom you live at this
Time; for this Knowledge I gathered by ſeeing
you both at the Shop-door together the Night be-
fore the Robbery, and I wanted then an Opportu-
nity to diſcover the Deſign to you; for a Deſign it
was, and the Fellows had their Intelligence of his
going to Chelſea, from a Man who is lately bea
come a Partner in their Rogueries, who lived as a
Journeyman with your Maſter, and has the great-
eſt Inveteracy againſt you all three, for what Rea-
ſon I never could learn. Since Yeſterday Morn-
ing, I have been quite abandoned to Wretchednefs,
and the Crime, you ſaw me ſo roughly handled förg,
I was induced to commit thro' mere Want of Bread.
Your Generoſity and Goodneſs, Sir, I hope will
make me a true Convert, and, if Heaven is ſo
gra-
cious as to accept my Repentance, I am reſolved to
work my Fingers to the Bones, rather than ever
expoſe myſelf to ſuch Vileneſs and Wickedneſs as
I have too long been ſubject to and Partaker of.
Here ſhe wept aloud, and moved my Compaſſion
ſo much, that I gave her Half-a-Guinea, which
}
}
1
was
of JOE THOMPSON. 137
was the whole that I had about me, adviſing her
to cheriſh theſe Motions of returning Goodneſs,
and telling her, that if ever I ſaw her again, and
was Witneſs to a Reformation and induſtrious Ho.
neſty in her, I would be her Friend.
I could not help adoring the Juſtice of Provi-
dence, in making Uſe of my Arm to execute Ven-
geance upon the Villain who had ſo ill uſed me; and
my Indignation againſt Packer, who had received
ſo many Favours from the Perſon he was thus en-
deavouring to murder and deſtroy', was excellive:
I remembered he knew of the Money that was
owing us at Chelſea, and if I had gone for it, no
doubt, the Favour received by my Friend was
intended alſo to me. So many Inſtances of the
Vileneſs and Corruption of human Nature made
me quite melancholy, and I returned Home in ag
Aſtoniſhment and profound Thoughtfulneſs, that
was immediately taken Notice of by my Friend, to
whom I imparted the Occaſion. He was pat
Meaſure affected with the Diſcoveries I had made,
and, as we did not know what farther Miſchiefs
Packer, as he knew the Secrets of the Family, and
the Nature of our Trade, might endeavour to do,
we reſolved to be very circumfpect for the Future
in every Thing we undertook, and to keep it a
Secret from my Maſter,, for Fear of giving him any
Diſturbance,
С НА Р.
138
The Life and Adventures
CH A P. XVI.
Speculiſt waits upon Mr. Diaper, who re-
proves Thompſon.—He confelles his Folly.
- Is pardoned. Excellent Behaviour of his
Maſter.—Permitted to viſit his Father and
Mother, with his Friend. They ſet out on
their journey.
I
Found it was now abſolutely neceſſary for me
to regain the Confidence and Efteem of Mr.
Deacon, in order to get rid of my troubleſome
Viſitants, for which Purpoſe I more frequently
went to ſee him; and, as he was really a very ſen-
fible and underſtanding Man, reaped a great deal of
Benefit from his Converſation, and had almoſt defa-
ced the bad Opinion he had conceived of me, when
the Malice or Vanity of Speculift at once made a
Diſcovery of my untoward Situation. He bore my
late Rejoinder to his Diſcourfe very hardly, and
fired with Rerentment at my confequent Eſtrange-
ment from him; for what he had faid, of not defiring
my Company, was only one of thoſe Airs he gave
himſelf with thoſe Acquaintances over whom he ac-
quired a Superiority; reſolved to be revenged, and
therefore this Man of Reaſon and Philoſophy, who
was not quite unknown to my Maſter, one Day
paid him a Viſit, at which he ſeemed very much
Surpriſed, as he had never converſed with him, not
at
of JOE THOMPSON. 139
}
1
at all liking his Character. He ſoon put him out
of his Uncertainty of his Deligni, by acquainting
him, he came, out of pure Compaſſion to Mr.
Thompſon, to let him know, that he was fearful he
had taken ſome bad Courſes, and kept Company
with Perſons who would do him much Difiervice;
and then gave him a Detail of thoſe little Follies
I had been guilty of, the Neceſſities he knew I was
driven-to, and an Account of the Debt I had con-
tracted with him; concluding, that he gave him
the preſent Trouble, out of pure Good-will to the
young Gentleman, not doubling but he would
exert his Authority and Influence over me, to en-
gage me to forſake ſuch Practices for the Future,
The good Man was quite ſurpriſed at this Account
of me, and, as he had heard me mention Mr. Spe-
culiſt, as an ingenious Gentleman, and one I great-
ly reſpected, ſaw, thro' the Appearance of Friend-
ſhip he put on, the Rancour of his Heart, and,
without any Emotion, gravely aſked him, What it
was I owed him? And, upon hearing it was only
twelve Pounds, counted him out the Money, took
his Receipt, and begged the Favour of him to de.
part the Houſe; which he did with the utmoſt Pre-
cipitancy and Shame, which was the more in-
creaſed by his meeting me full-butt at the Bottom of
the Stair caſe. He juſt moved his Hatand went away,
leaving me in Amaze at ſeeing him in our Houſe,
where
140
The Life and Adventures
where he had never been before, and many Con-
jectures about his Buſineſs there.
The next Morning, my Friend and myfelf were
both ſent for into my Maſter's Chamber, who, af-
ter ſhutting the Door, accoſted us in the following
Manner: My dear Children, for I can't prevail
upon myſelf to conſider either of you in any other
Light, I have obſerved, with an unmeaſurable
Satisfaction, your ſtrict Union, ever ſince you have
been together; your Tempers, your Actions, and
the Regard you have paid to me and my Wife; and
your ſtudying my Welfare with ſo much Care, in
the Management of my Buſineſs, has charmed me,
and my Mind has made me happy in the Contem-
piation of your Virtues. You, Mr. Thompſon, par-
ticularly, becauſe bound only to me by the weak
Tie of Obedience: I hope I have given you con.
vincing Proofs by my Behaviour to you, that I
reſent your Fidelity and Attachment in the tender-
eft Manner. What will you, then, what can I ſay
to a Man who has endeavoured to perſuade me,
with a fond Officioufnefs to bear ungrateful Tid-
ings, that you have followed Courſes that I muſt
highly diſapprove; have neglected my Concerns,
which you, Son, have connived at; have frequented
the Company of lewd Women, and wild young
Fellows, whoſe only Aim and Study is the Gratia
fication of their debauched Imaginations and de-
praved Pallions? I muſt own, I treated him willi
the
1
of Joe THOMPSON. 140
the Contempt he deſerved, as I could ſee, thro' his
Maſk of Friendſhip and Concern, an Inveteracy
which all the Shew of impartial Repreſentation
could not hide; nor had I believed any Thing a-
gainſt you, if he had not at the ſame Time convin-
ced me of ſomething which grieves me greatly ;
he ſays, you have been extravagant, and are in
Debt, and, as a Proof of it, declared you was in-
debted to him. I gave him no Encouragement to
purſue his Animadverfions, but have paid him the
Money for you; ſee, there is his Receipt, and by
that you will know the Author of what I tell you.
Now I muſt own, if you are driven to ſuch Ne-
ceſſities, it would almoſt lead me to think all the
reſt of his Charge was true; for I am ſenſible your
Father ſupplies you with every Thing neceſſary,
and more Pocket-money than I ſhould care to truſt
à Youth with. I am not angry, Child, and'only
beg you to let me know your Embarraſſments, that
you may be relieved, and not tempted to do any
Thing unbecoming a Youth I ſo greatly eſteem,
and the Son of a worthy and dear Friend: I am
ſenſible what Temptations ſurround us on every
Side, at your Age, and make all the Allowances
for human Frailty that I poſſibly can.
Here he
pauſed, whilft the Tears ran down my Cheeks, and
I was for ſome Time incapable of anſwering: At
length, recovering myſelf, I thanked him for all
his Kindnefles and conſtant Goodneſs to me, and
told
142
The Life and Adventures
told him, I ſhould be inexcuſable not to make a
fincere Confeffion of all my Follies, which I hoped
were not of ſo heinous a Nature as not to be par-
doned upon a fincere Amendment, as he had expreſſed
ſuch a Regard for my Welfare, and it was the only
Means left me to reiurn to my former Innocence
and Tranquillity. I then gave him a ſhort Detail of
all
my
Errors and Slips of Youth, not without mingo
ling my 'Tale with conſcious Bluſhes and Motions
of Shame and Regret, which often interrupted my
Diſcourſe; and now, dear Sir, I cried, falling on
my Knees, and kiſſing his Hand, with a fervent
Action of Affection, I have given you an AC-
count of the Crimes I have been guilty of, let me
intreat you not to hate me, but let me plead with
you for Forgiveneſs and Compaſſion; I hope it is
not too late to recover my Mind from thoſe Vicesy
which I have now a thorough Deteſtation of; I have
for fome Time forſaken theſe Reſorts of Wicked-
nels, and feel the higheſt Pleaſure on the Approaches
I make again to that Peace and Happineſs I have for
fo long a Time loft. Deprive me not of the Soci-
ety of my dear Friend, and the Comfort I have
ever received in your good Opinion; I will be dou-
bly diligent, the Remainder of my Time, to make
you amends for my repeated Neglects: Your Good-
neſs gives me a Thouſand nameleſs Compunctions,
may
Heaven enable meto deſerve it, the Remainder
of my Life! I could ſay no more, and a Flood of
moving
t
I
of JOE THOMPSON. 143
moving Sorrow put a Period to my Diſcourſe. My
Friend mingled his Concern with mine, and ſaid
every Thing that could diſarm any Reſentment that
might ariſe in his Father's Breaſt. He ſtood for
fome Time thoughtful, at length he ſoftened, and
a Tear of Mercy ſtole down his venerable Face,
and, railing me up, he embraced me with eager Preſ-
ſures; then took his Son into his Arms, and kinda
ly told us, he forgave me every Thing. Words
can't deſcribe the Gratitude that aroſe in my
Breaſt, and quite overcame me; I made no Anſwer,
but embraced his Knees; he ſaw my Condition, and
left us to come to ourſelves. How much relieved
I was after the Diſcloſure of my Crimes, and the
Pardon I received, no one can tell; had the Weight
of a Mountain oppreffed me, its Reinoval could not
have given me more real Eaſe. My Friend preſſed
me to his Boſom, and gave me the higheſt Congratu-
lations; I returned his Careſſes, and was ready to
devour him with my Acknowledgements for his
Goodnefs A few Minutes afterwards my Maſter
returned ; think yourſelf happy, Mr. Thompſon,
ſays he, that you have been obliged to make this
Confeſſion, and that you are relieved from the
Gloom that was occaſioned by the Concealment
of your Condition: I congratulate myſelf for ſeeing
your
Return to Virtue, almoſt as ſoon as I knew of
your Defection : Let me intreat you to apply for
Pardon to the Author of our Being, whom you
tavs
4.4 - * * *
144 · The Life and Adventures
have highly offended by ungratefully miſemploying
thoſe excellent Talents and Abilities he has bem
ſtowed upon you ; let him have all the Praiſe for
this happy Turn of your Affairs; at the Throne
of his Mercy be conſtant in your Petitions, for
his Grace and Favour to ſupport you in the Reſolu-
tions you tave taken to act agreeable to his Laws,
his pure Injunctions; reſume your good Humour
and your Endeavours to pleaſe and oblige every
body you are concerned with, and, by a thorough
Adherence te Religion and Virtue, you will be
happy yourſelf, and bleſs all your Friends: Let
me have an Account of a!l your Debts, which I
will inſtantly diſcharge ; and, rather than afflict your
good Father with the Knowledge of what is paſt,
I will wait till you are in a Capacity to pay me
again. 'Tis neceſſary to relieve you from ſuch
a Bürthen to a generous Mind, that you may
have nothing left to impede you in your revived
Diſpoſition to Happineſs; and, as you may have
contracted ſome Acquaintance you can't handſome-
ly part from abruptly, I have been thinking to in-
dulge you with the Liberty of taking a Journey
into Yorkſhire, for a Month or two, to ſee your
Parents; and, as my Wife is able to bear the Town
better than ſhe has been for ſome Time paſt, my
Son, if he pleaſes, ſhall accompany you; your
Father has often preſſed me to let him come down
to ſee him, and he thall take this Opportunity :
Therefore
of JOE THOMPSON.
145
Therefore finiſh what Buſineſs you have in Hand,
Gentlemen ; you are welcome to my Horſes, and
may ſet out when you will; your Father and Mo-
ther long to ſee you; and it is Time to gratify
their Deſire, after an Abſence of four Years and an
Half: If I want you in Town ſooner than I have
mentioned, I'll write you Word: When you come
back, you will be a Stranger to the People you
would avoid, and may then keep them at a pro-
per Diſtance: Here's a ſmall Token of my Re-
fpect, which you will accept of for the Expences of
your Journey: In ſo ſaying, he clapped a Paper
into each of our Hands, containing twenty Guineas,
and left me in Extaſy of Admiration and Acknow-
ledgment for his Goodneſs and Condeſcenſion. My
Friend was tranſported with the Thoughts of our
going together; and, as for my Part, I had never
experienced ſo much Delight before. In about
a Week after, having ſettled our Books, and left
all Affairs ready to my Maſter's Hands, we fet
out on our Journey, taking Leave of him and
my
Miſtreſs, who overwhelmed me, as well as her Son,
with the kindeit Expreſſions of Regard.
VOL. I.
H
CHAP
145
The Life and Adventures
CH A P. XVII.
Digreſſion on the Beauties of the Country..
They overtake Company, to whom they are
known.- Are entertained at Mr. Bellair's.
--Diaper falls in Love with Miſs Suſanna
Bellair.—He relieves her from a great
Danger.--His Paſion approved by her Bro-
thir.--Meets with a Return from her.-
They purſue their journey.
HO
OW agreeable is a Receſs from the Town
to a Man who is conſtantly engaged in the
Hurry and Noiſe of Buſineſs! It exhilarates and
refreſhes the Mind, and gives the Spirits a new
Flow, that has a very fanative Effect upon the Body:
emerging from Noiſe, Uproar, and Confuſion,
was like getting rid of a Weight that bore us down
with hard Oppreſſion; the Soul ſeemed now to en-
joy its Manſion, and, roving gaily from one Ob-
ject to another, gratify its unbounded Curioſity,
and its enlarged Vehicle was better qualified to en-
tertain the noble Gueſt.
What a Profuſion of Embelliſhments has the
Sublime Author of Nature beſtowed on the viſible
Creation, at this seaſon of the Year! How is the
Eye delighted with gaudy blended Tincts of
Green, and Azure, and Gold! the Ears raviſhed
with
of Joe THOMPSON.
147
with the Melody that is poured forth from the
harmonious Throats of the feathered Inhabitants
of every Buſh and Spray, and whole Nature ſeem-
ing in a State of Exultation to hymn the Great
Greater! The loaded Branches bend beneath the
Weight of the various Products of the Seaſon
i
the teeming Earth ſends forth, from its prolific
Womb, the ſhining yellow Grain, with rich In-
creaſe; the neighing Steed friſks over the Plain;
the tender Lambkin gambols thro' the Lawn; and
the ſturdy Peaſant fees his Riches Aowing in on
every Side. Nothing can excite the Mind to
greater Veneration of the Great, Firſt Cauſe of
all Things, than to ſurvey all the wonderous,
delightful Objects, that every-where around be-
deck the rural Scene; and the grateful Mind, invo-
Juntarily, breaks out into Raptures of Praiſe and
Thankſgiving.
The two firſt Days of our Journey were unin-
terrupted by any Accident; we enjoyed each oe
ther's Company with a satisfaction, that it is im-
poſſible truly to expreſs; our Converſation, which
rolled on various uſeful Subjects, beguiled the Way;
and, as we had Time enough before us, we made
ſhort and eaſy Stages, gratifying our Curioſity with
cvery Thing that was worth viewing, and often
making Excurſions from the direct Road, to in-
dulge ourſelves with a pleaſant Country, and an
agreeable Proſpect. Mr. Diaper, who had not been
fuch
H 2
1
148
Tbe Life and Adventures
1
ſuch a Journey for many Years, was quite captivat.
ed with the new Pleaſures we taſted; and we kept
up a Chearfulneſs and good Humour, which was
but bare Gratitude for the Enjoyments we re-
ceived.
About Noon on the third Day of our Peregri-
nation, we overtook a Chaiſe and Pair, followed
by a Number of Domeſtics, in a Livery that me-
thought I had ſomewhere particularly noticed be-
fore; but when we had paſſed, and I juſt turned
my
Head back to look at the Perſons in the Ve.
hicle, how agreeably pleaſed I was to diſcover the
fame amiable Gentleman and Lady, whoſe Con-
verſation had captivated me ſo much at Vauxhall ?
They knew me alſo, at once, and both ſeemed
tranſported at the lucky Meeting: After the firſt
Civilities had paſſed between us, I was gently chid
for not having performed my Promiſe of calling to
ſee them, which I excuſed in as handſome a Man-
ner as I could: Then they enquired our Rout,
which happened to be thro' that Part of the Coun-
try they were proceeding to, to their Country-
Houſe, where they inſiſted that we ſhould accom-
pany them, and ſpend a Day or two, which we
could by no Means refuſe. We arrived there the
ſame Evening, and were introduced to a genteel
and commodious Houſe, which, for Situation and
Accommodations, was one of the prettieſt and
completeſt Villa's, that ever I ſaw in my Life. My
Com-
1
1
of JOE THOMPSON. 149
Companion, as well myſelf, was charmed with
our Reception, which was as cordial and reſpect.
ful as could be given to the moſt valuable Frie:ds.
The good Senſe and Oeconomy of the Maſter and
Miſtreſs was viſible in the contented and eaſy Looks
of the Servants, and the excellent Management and
Order that appeared in the minuteſt Things: Plenty
without Wale, or Profuſion, was ſeen at the Ta-
ble; and every Thing wore an Air of the moſt re-
fined Elegancy: They were received at their En-
trance by a young Lady, Sifter to the Gentleman,
who was a Repreſentation of Fiora; an innocent
Sweetnefs thone in her Countenance, and the
ruddy Morn was not arrayed with more inſpiring,
blooming Graces: She alfo accoſted us with a
courteous and inviting Look, that you could not
help feeling to the Bottom of the Heart. A:
Supper we were entertained with a Repaſt, that
ſpoke the noble Temper of our Holt; and a Con-
verſation enſued, in which every one bore ſuch a
Share, as gave a mutual good Opinion of each
other. We did not retire to Bed till pretty
late, and were conducted to a very grand Apart-
ment, were we were taken up fome Time in our
Admiration of our new Acquaintance. My Friend
was curious to know how I came to be known to
Mr. Bellair and his Spouſe, for that was his Name,
in which I gratified him; he then ran out, in ex-
cellive Encomiums on the Beauties and Perfections
2
H 3
of
350 The Life and Adventures
of Miſs Sukey, by which I could plainly perceive
his very Soul began to be infected with her Charms ;
which Diſcovery not a little pleaſed me, as I had
before obſerved an Infenfibility to the Fair Sex in
him, that very much ſurpriſed me: The whole
Night he coffed and tumbled about, and every :
now and then a Sigh eſcaped him, as by Stealth;
upon which, the next Morning, I rallied him very
feverely. What ſignifies denying any Thing to
you, Joe, ſays he, very ſeriouſly; I muſt confeſs that
little Cherubim has made me uncommonly uneaſy ;
and I would give the World, if I had it, for a
Companion for Life, of ſuch a diſtinguiſhed Merit
as I obſerved in that dear Creature. He uttered thefe
Words in ſuch a Tone and Manner that I could
not help repeating my Mirth at his Expence; at
which he grew. a little angry, and forced' nie to
d fift; after which we commenced a very earneſt
Diſcourſe about the Family, and agreed to make
all the Obſervațions we could of the Circumſtances
and Diſpoſition of the young Lady, without whom
he proteſted he could not not think of living. Our
Conſulta:ions were finiſhed by a Servant's entering
with a Meſſage,, that Breakfaſt was ready; and
we, immediately obeying the Summons, found
Mr. Bellair and the two Ladies, who were very:
merry at our over-leeping ourſelves in ſuch a
lovely Morning; which, Miſs obſerved, was being.
a little ungrateful for the Pleaſure it beſtowed
upon
of Joe THOMPSON. 157
upon us.
Breakfaſt over, a Walk was propoſed in
the Garden, which was a very extenſive one ; and
at the further Extremity of it was a very fine
Fiſhpond, with an Alcove for the Anglers to re-
poſe themſelves, and a Bank of green Turf all
round it. This Diverſion, you muſt know, Gen-
tlemen, ſays Mr. Bellair, is a very favourite one
with me, and my wife and Siſter, as we can
purſue it, and yet indulge our Contemplations,
and impart them to each other: But I affure you
that Miſs is the beſt Sportſman, by far, and not a
preſent Inhabitant of the ſcaly Fry but has been, one
Time or other, upon her Hook; tho', like the Me-
thod of the Generality of Ladies in treating thoſe Lo-
vers, who only ſerve to make up the Number of their
Conqueſts, after trifing with them ſome Time, ſhe
gives them their Liberty again. If Miſs, Sir, ſays
my Friend, were to torture her Lovers in that
Manner, I apprehend it would never be in her
Power to reſtore the Bleſings you mention again
to them, and they would be too fond of their Slavery
to deſire it: At this the bluſhed, and, to turn off
the Diſcourſe, propoſed ſending for the Fiſhing-
Rods, to try our Skill. We had all of us fome:
Sport, but my Friend, who was fo fixed on the
Actions of the young Lady, and so attentive to
the Indulgence of his infant Paffion, that he did
not catch one; upon which Me merrily told him,
The would take Care to provide a Dinner for them
4
botb.
H
152
The Life and Adventures
both. The Words were fcarce out of her Month,
when, leaning too forward, the Edge of the Bank
gave Way under her, and ſhe fell at once into the
Water, which was pretty deep. We were all ter-
sibly frightened; but, as to Mr. Diaper, he gave a
great Cry, and immediately plunged into the
Pond, and brought her out in his Arms, all wet,
and faint with Terror. The Time was ſo ſhort,
that the preſerved her Senſes; however, it put an
End to our Diverfion, and we attended her into
the Houſe, where the was undreſſed, and put to
Bed. Her Brother and Sifter were fo ftruck with
this Action of my Friend's, that they were never
tired with acknowledging it; and, as to him, he
exulted to himſelf in the Inſtance he had given of
his regard, and betrayed his Concern, by enquiring
of her Health, every Minute, in a Manner almoſt
troubleſome. He was equipped in a Suit of Mr.
Bellair's, till his own were dry; and that Gentle-
man, clapping him on the Shoulder, told him,
merrily, he was fearful that the Water, inftead of
cooling him, had infamed him fo, that it would
not be eaſily extinguiſhable; What ſay you, Mr.
Thompſon? Your Friend won't be much hurt by a
fine Woman and three thouſand Pounds, and I'll
promiſe him my Conſent, I affure him. Mr. Diaper
bowed, and was ſo confuſed at this frank Diſco-
very and Good-nature, that he had nothing where-
with to reply. Dinner was ſerved up, at which
the
of joe THOMPSON. 153
the young Lady, now quite well, attended; but
I could perceive ſuch a Confuſion, whenever her
Eyes met thoſe of her Preſerver, to whom ſhe ex-
preſſed a high Senſe of her Obligation, that I made
no Queſtion but ſhe was as ſenſible as himſelf, and
gave myſelf a great pleaſure in the Reflection. We
ſtayed in this happy Manſion a full Week, during
which Mr. Diaper made a great Progreſs in his
Amour, and Miſs Sukey ſeemed quite affected with
his Paffion; they were ever together, and Mr. Bel-
lair, being made ſenſible, by me, of his Condition
and Expectations, was heartily diſpoſed to give
him all the Liberty with his Miſtreſs that was
poſſible. We could hardly ſeparate ourſelves from
the Family, and, I believe, Diaper would have
been contented, if I had gone the Remainder of
the Journey alone, if Shame had permitted him;
we parted, however, promiſing to ſpend a Week
at our Return; and the Parting of the Lovers was
fo tender, that Miſs could not leave her Chamber,
to ſee us mount, her Dif:ompoſure was ſo great.
Never was Manſo transformed as was the
young
Gentleman; he was conſtantly mufing; had loſt
his Vivacity; would heave now and then an invo-
luntary Sigh ; and it was ſeldom I could get a
Word from him in the whole Day's Ride, except
I put him upon talking of his Miſtreſs; and then
what Raptures would break forth! How many
Vows and Proteftations of eternal Conftancy and
H5
Truth!
t
154
The Life and Adventures
Truth! He let me into the Whole of his Courta
fhip, and I found, to my extreme Delight, that he
had Reaſon really to eſteem himſelf very happy;
and therefore, after canvalling the Matter between
us, it was reſolved he ſhould aſk his Father's Con..
fent to the Match, foon after our Return. We
put up at Night at a very good Inn, which was ſo
full of Gueſts, that we could get no other Place
to fit in, all the Rooms being taken up, but the
Kirchen. As my Friend did not chuſe to mix
in any promiſcuous Company, and there was not
another Houſe of a long Way, we were contented,
and ordered a Fowl to be laid to the Fire, for our
Supper, which was immediately complied with.
CH A P. XVIII.
Story of the inchanted Bridle. -Midnight Ad
ventures in the Inn.---Diſcourſe between
Dr. Taliſman, Parſon Zealot, and Gage,
the Exciſeman.-Fatal Conſequences of their
Diſpute.---They arrive at Mr. Thompſon's.
-Joy at their Arrival.
T
HE Company in the Kitchen, principally
compofed of the Servants of the Gueſts who
had put up in the Inn, withdrew from the Fire,
in reſpect to our Appearance; ſo that we were
not
of JOE THOMPSON. 155
1
!
not at all incommoded at our Supper, but rather
entertained with the different Characters we could
over-hear them give their ſeveral Maſters and
Miſtreſſes, with whom, as uſual with the Party-
coloured Gentry, they made very free. We or-
dered our Beds to be made ready, whilſt we drank
a Glaſs or two after our Meal and were juſt ada
journing to our Chamber, when a young Fellow
broke into the Kitchen, in the greateſt Hurry and
Confuſion imaginable; his Hair erected on his Head,
like the Quills of a Porcupine ; his Body full of
convulſive Motions; his Face pale and diſtorted;
his Eyes fixed in their Sockets ;. and all the Marks
of dreadful Fright and Amaze; which robbed him
of Utterance; and, juſt as he advanced up to the
Fire, he gave a deep Groan, and fell down in a
Swoon: Every body was ſurpriſed, and ran to help
him, plentifully beſprinkling his Face with Wa-
ter, which, in a little Time, brought him to him-
felf. He ſtared wildly about him, for ſome Time;
and cried, in a hollow Tone of Voice, Is he gone?
Is he gone? And then, getting up, took a Turn or
two round the Kitchen, and hallooed out again,
Avoid Satan! Oh God! fave me! fave me! Here
he is ? There he is! and ſo went on, that every body.
concluded him diſtracted; and the Hoſteſs coming
in, followed by her Huſband, ordered them to lay
Hands on him, for fear he ſhould do any Miſchief.
This they did accordingly; and, after they had got
H 6.
hin
:
1
1
156 The 7
-
A
Life and Adventures
him down, he became ſomewhat calmer, whilst
the Tears in Abundance trickled down his Cheeks,
followed by oft repeated Sighs and Groans. Alack !
ſays the Landlady, I knew fome bad Luck
would happen in our Family, by my Dream laſt
Night; and, to be ſure, a great Calf. came. bolt
into the Bar-Room, this Morning, and frightened
me out of my Wits.! Well, poor Fellow, that old
Jade, Jenny Barnes, has certainly bewitched him!
Good God! it's a Shame ſuch Devils ſhould be
fuffered to live in the Pariſh. Hold your Tongue
you fooliſh B—-h, ſays her Huſband, you are
always canting ſome dd Nonſenſe or other;
more likely ſome of your Methodiſt Tricks have
been put into his Head: Hold up your Head, Jack,
What's the Matter? The Fellow was going to
reply, when, moving himſelf in his Chair, he kicked
the Bit of a Bridle with one of his Heels, which
hung round his Neck, and reached the Pavement,
which made a Kind of a Clink, and threw him into
the fame Extafies and Diſtortions again, conti-
nually 'roaring, There he is ! Don't you hear his
Chain? Oh Lord deliver me! Pray, dear Maſter,
ſend for the Parſon, I have ſeen the Devil! The
Devil you have, ſays his Maſter; What Buſineſs
had he in my Stables? No, no, replies the Man,
al in a Foam, I ſaw him at Black Jack's Barn!
there, turning himſelf about: Don't you hear him
now? He's here! he's here! and fwooned away
again:
of Joe THOMPSON. 157
again: At this the Landlord looked about him,
and, ſpying the Bridle, burſt into an immoderate
Fit of laughing: O, ho, ſays he, I have diſco-
vered the Whole; wake, you filly Son of a B-h;
Don't you ſee that here's no Chain here, nor any
Thing like it. It's only the Bit that makes this
Rattling; and fo gave him a Douſe in the Chops,
which recalled him once more to himſelf: Then
turning to the Company told them that a Negro, that
once lived with him, in Quality of an Hoftler, had
hanged himſelf in a Barn, at the Back of the Houſe,
and that ever ſince he had haunted that Barn, and
had been ſeen by ſeveral People, dragging a huge
Chain after him, which he always did at Twelve
o'Clock at Night; and this Fellow, continues he,
has, no doubt, feen him, or heard him; and, for-
getting he had the Bridle at his Heels, by the Force
of Imagination, thought he had purſued him quite
into the Houſe, I ſuppoſe ; and ſo there's your
Cock-and-a-Bull Story of a Dream, and a Calf, and
Jenny Barnes; out, Madam ; come, get up, and
go to your. Buſineſs. The Hoftler now thoroughly
convinced of his Miſtake, endeavoured to get up,
but was fo weakened, that they were forced to
convey him to Bed, leaving us in high Mirth,
at ſuch an Inſtance of vulgar Prepofleflion, and
the Strength of Fancy. We ſoon after were con-
ducted to our Repoſe, which this Accident had kept
us from an Hour or two longer than we intended.
Our
158
The Life and Adventures
Our Room opened into a long Gallery, which was
the Means of Communication to a whole Tier of
Apartments; at the upper End was the Conveni.
ency of a Privy for the Uſe of the whole Floor, and,
by a very imprudent Want of Caution, the Doors
of the Rooms were not furniſhed with Locks, but
only depended on the Security of Latches. We
had juſt began to doſe, when we heard the Latch
of our Apartment gently Tifted up, and ſome-body
ſoftly ſtealing to our Bed-ſide, who, as he advan-
ced, cried, Egod, Tom, I was a long Time before
I could find my Way back again from that dad
Vault; I think they ought to have a Lamp burn-
ing in the Gallery, for it is curſed dark; What are ye
aſleep already? We made no Anſwer, and he went
on: I have been thinking of our Expedition To-
morrow; but, by G-d, I don't think it ſafe to
attempt the Coach or the Chariot, for they are too
ſtrongly guarded : Now, there's the two young
Prigs, that ſupped in the Kitchen, ſeem to be Aufh
of Money, and we had better ſet out betimes and
ſecure them, for they go towards York, as the Land-
lord informed me, and he believes will be a good
Booty: D-n me, why don't you Anſwer? Ha!
you
drank ſo damned hard laſt Night, that you are
as drouſy as the Devil. By this Time he was pul-
ling up the Bed. Cloaths, when I ſtirred, and, as if
between Sleep and Waking, cried out, Be quiet;-
What--what d'ye want? The Miſtake was ſoon
perceived,
!
of Joe THOMPSON.
159
1
perceived, and a quick Retreat made from the Bed
and out of the Door; upon which I gave a Jog to my
Friend, and being too much concerned in the late
Speech to be eaſy without fome farther Diſco-
very, I flipt out of Bed, and tripped ſoftly after the
Perſon who had made it, whom I foon traced to
the next Door but one to ours; and finding him
gone in, and the Door ſhut, applied my Ear to the
Crevice, and heard him fay,--Tom, are you there?
Aye, , ſays Tom, where have you been? Why,
don me, I miftook the Room, and have been talk-
ing about our Rout To-morrow, thinking it was
to you. Aye, den me, replies the other, it is
like one of your blundering Tricks: What Room
was you in? Two Rooms higher, ſays he. Why
that's where the two young Gentlemen lie that
ſupped in the Kitchen. Is it by G-d? Why, I
hope they were aſleep, however, for I was propo-
fing to nail them To-morrow, imagining I had
been talking to you; fo I believe we had better
decamp, before they are ſtirring, for Fear of the
worſt. As ſoon as I heard this, I left them to
their farther Confultations, and turned to go back;
but had ſcarce groped my Way three or four Paces,
when I was accoſted with two Arms round me,
and a Whiſper of, Lord, William, how long you
have been? I am almoſt farved; which was fol-
lowed by half a Dozen Kiſſes, repeated ſo quick,
that I had not Time to diſengage myſelf. I ſoon
perceived
{
160 The Life and Adventures
perceived it was one of the ſofter Sex who
had made this Miſtake, and was going to unde-
ceive her, when from a Hand unfeen, ſhe recei-
ved a violent Blow over the Side of the Head, as
I thought, which made the whole Gallery ring,
and down ſhe fell, uttering a deep Groan.
As I
apprehended a Salute of the ſame Sort, I put my-
felf upon my Guard, but could hear a Pair of
naked Feet padding away as faſt as poſſible ; fo I
retired with great Expedition to my own Door,
which I foon gained and entered the Chamber. I
perceived myſelf right by hearing my Friend's
Voice, who enquired, What made me ſtay ſo long?
And I was going to give him an Account of my
Adventures, when I was joftled againſt by fome-
what that was endeavouring to paſs me, which I
aſſumed Courage enough to ſeize Hold of, at the
fame Time enquiring, Who's this? I received no
Anſwer, but violent Struggles to get away from
me; upon which I called out luſtily, Houſe! Houſe !
and ſtamped as hard as I could at the ſame Time
with my Foot. What are you doing, ſays Mr. Dia-
per, what's the Matter? Matter, ſays I, why I be-
lieve ſome infernal Spirits play their Gambols here
To-night; however I believe I have got hold of
fomewhat that's Fleſh and Blood here. Hold it faſt
then, 'ſays he, and I'll ſecure the Door till we
know who diſturbs us thus: So ſaying, he jumped
out of Bed, when my Prize, trembling, begged me
to
1
of JOE THOMPSON. 161
to let him go, for he had miſtaken our Room for
his own; Who are you, ſays I? Lord, Maſter, I
am the Tapfter that you ſaw laſt Night who wait-
ed upon you ; I aſk you ten thouſand Pardons for
this Offence, and the Difturbance I have occafion-
ed you. Very well, Friend, ſays I, I forgive you ;
but pray was it you that knocked down ſome body
in the Gallery juſt now ? Sir, you ſeem to be a good-
natured Gentleman, and I'll tell you the Truth ;
T
was going to meet our Cook Peggy by Appointment
you may be ſure, and found her faſt locked in the
Arms of another Man, which provoked me to
ſtrike her; but I hope I have done her no Hurt, for
I perceive by what you have ſaid, Sir, that ſhe muſt
have miſtaken you for me. Why, was not you a
Villain to give her ſuch a ſevere Blow ? For my
Part, I believe you have killed her, ſays I. God
forbid, Sir; but you know Jealouſy will drive one
to any Thing, and the Blow was intended for you,
Sir, I muſt own. By this Time a Light appeared,
carried by our Paunch-gutted Rogue of a Land.
lord, who had been alarmed by the Noiſe I made;
upon which I let the Fellow go, who ran away
with all the Expedition imaginable, and, looking
out, perceived old Tun-belly, with great Circum-
ſpection directing his Steps towards our Part of the
Gallery; but, the Light dazzling his Eyes, he
ſtumbled over the Poor Girl, who ſtill lay ſenſeleſs
on the Ground, and came down like a weighty
;
-
Ruin,
162 The Life and Adventures
Ruin, the Candle ſpringing from him almoſt as far
as the Place I ſtood in, and left us once more in
Darkneſs. His Fright was ſo extreme, that I could
hear the Teeth chatter in his Head, whilſt he pro-
nounced in a mumbling Accent, Lord have Mercy
za pon me! Oh, Spare me, Spare me! Upon which a
Thought entered my Head, which I communicat-
ed to my Friend, and we directly approached him,
and ſeizing hold of both his Ears, which we wrung
very hard, in a counterfeited hollow Tone, I repeated
Barbara, celarent, darii, ferie, baralipton. I have
been barbarous enough, God knows, and fear you:
truly; Oh! ſpare me, ſpare me, he replies; upon
which I repeated as much unintelligible Jargon as
I could recollect, which abſolutely finiſhed his Pre-
poſſeſſion that we were evil Spirits; and we could
difcern, to the entire Offence of our ſmelling Fa-
culty, that his Fear operated in the ſtrongeſt Man-
ner upon him. The Girl, during this, having reco-
vered herſelf, and hearing her Maſter's tremendous
Voice, had, we could perceive, made Shift to crawl
away, ſo that the whole Coaſt was clear for us,
the reverberated Snoarings in the Rooms on every
Side convincing us alſo, that every Paſſenger bad
yielded to the leaden Sway of Morpheus. Then,
affecting an unnatural Voice, I tweaked him ftill.
harder, and told him in his Ear, that, if he did not
fend the two Highwaymen, away directly.,. I'd tear
him to Pièces, and ſcatter his Limbs in the Air:
You
}
of JOE THOMPSON. 163
You ſet them, continued I, to pillage the two Gentle-
men who fupped in the Kitchen ; but, if the Scheme
is purſued, you will be betrayed and hanged on
your own Sign-poſt; ſo think well of what I tell
you, and d’ye hear, for the future don't ſell Cyder
for White-wine. As ſoon as he heard this, he
funk down, and we perceived he was terrified fo
much, that he was bereft of his Senſes; in which
Condition we left him to come to himſelf, and
went directly to Bed, the Morning-dawn begin-
ing to peep abroad, hugely delighted with our
Manner of Revenge, and the comical Circumftan-
ces that were likely to attend it. It was ten o'Clock
before we aroſe, when we directly adjourned to the
Kitchen, where Mrs. Hoſteſs was haranguing three
Gentlemen, we found, on the Subject of the laſt
Night's Adventures. Here, ſays the, have been fad.
Doings ! well, for my Part, I ſhall never be able to
go to Bed in the Houſe again!' Poor Jack ſaw the
Negro laſt Night, and Peggy ſaw ſuch an Apparition,
to be ſure, that ſhe is not able to riſe after it. But
this is nothing to my poor Huſband; he heard a
Knocking and calling in one of the Rooms in the
long Gallery, ar he thought, which to be fure was
a Device of the Devil to draw him that Way; and
there he was ſet upon by two Monſters, vomiting
out Fire, and with Eyes like burning Coals, who
have pinched him black and blue, and fixed their
Claws in him, and left him in a Fit, which, for
augha
164
The Life and Adventures
aught I know, would have killed him, had I not
gone to ſee what was become of him; and, ſurely,
he raves and talks ſuch ftrange Stuff, that I fear
me he has quite loſt his Senſes ; and he ſent for two
Gentlemen, who dined in Number Four, and, tho'
I was turned out of the Room, I heard as much as
to ſay, That he thought the Houſe was too dan-.
gerous for them to ſtay in, and, as they were Friends,
he adviſed them to be gone, for he ſaid a great deal
about God and Religion to them, and they mount-
ed directly, and are gone; I believe, for my Part,
he might have ſent them to ſome Biſhop, for I
can't get a Word out of bim, and to be ſure we
muſt take ſome Care to lay the Spirits, or elſe our
Houſe will be ruined. I wiſh, Dr. Zealot, you would
go up and talk to him, for I left him quite mad and
diſtracted, mayhap you can ſend them packing
to the Red-Sea for us! The Gentlemen to whom
the directed this Diſcourſe were Mr. Curate, of the
Village adjacent, a Surgeon of the ſame Place, and
the Exciſeman of that Diſtrict; and, by hearing
them ſpeak to each other by Name, we ſoon learnt
that the Parſon's Name was Zealot, the Surgeon's
Taliſman, and the Exciſeman's Gage. The Par-
ſon, who was a little petulant Animal, ſcrewing
up his Mouth, and elevating his wrinkled Brows,
replied, with an Air of uncommon Gravity, that,
peradventure, he ſhould go to ſee him; tho', add.
ed he, he is ſo ſinful a Wretch, never having re-
ceived
$
1
of Joe THOMPSON. 165
ecived the Communion, ſince I ſerved this Cure,
that I can ſcarce excuſe myſelf for ſuch a Proſtitu-
tion of my facred Character: However, what the
Church can do, Madam, in Regard to you, ſhall be
done, and, were he haunted by Legion himſelf, I'd
ferret him out of your Quarters, I warrant you :
The Powers granted to our Order are extenſive e-
nough to ſubject Satan, and all his united Imps to
our undoubted Sway over the Realms of Dark-
neſs. No ſooner this grave Speech was uttered,
than Taliſman, with a malicious and contemptuous
Grin, ſeized him by one of the Buttons of his
Waiſtcoat, and broke out thus, accompanying his
Reply with repeated Tugs at his Button, the Par-
fon one while hearkening to him, and ever and
anon his Eye bent upon that Part where he was
fearful the Doctor would make a Diſlocation
to his Prejudice : Sir, Sir, your Pretenſions are
all Farce and Nonſenſe ; the Powers given to the
Apoſtles to caſt out Devils have been long ſince
ceaſed in their Succeffors, they are Proof, Sir,
againit all your Exorciſms; the Knowledge of your
Function does not arrive to ſuch a Pitch now-a-
days, I'll aſſure you, as to attempt Things of that
Nature. If, Madam, your Houſe is haunted, or
your Huſband bewitched, I'll undertake to free
him of his Enchantment, which is not to be done
in the old Road that has been long beaten to no
Purpoſe by the Prieſts. No, no, I ſhall preſcribe
him
166
The Life and Adventures
him ſomewhat to hang about his Neck, a Prepara-
tion of Electrum Minerale, by which the great Van
Helmont diffolved ſo many Sorceries; adding there-
to the Fume of Solomon and Eleazar Trees : Nay,
Paracelſus is pretty clear, that if an haunted or poffef-
ſed Perſon were only to urine thro'a Birch Broom,
gathered in the Morning Dew, and bound up when
Sol juſt deſcends below the Horiſon, it would be
effectual; but I have other Means to free your
Houſe, and will :undertake your Cure immediate-
ly; as to what theſe Gentlemen talk of laying Spi-
rits, they-~-Here, all in a Rage, he was in-
terrupted by Zealot, whọ roared out in a violent
Manner, that he was an empty Pretender, and
that all that he had mentioned was mere exploded
Chimera : What are your Paracelſus and Van Het
mont now, whoſe whole Works may be bought for
Three-half-pence by the Pound? I thought Mr.
Taliſman had read better Authors, and to better
Purpoſe; fure none but himſelf could peruſe ſuch
Rubbiſh: I warrant you, you are fuperftitious
enough to believe in the Philoſopher's Stone tro,
and I dare engage never looked into Sir Iſaac's
Principia in your Life, tho' he may juftly be cal-
led Princeps Philoſophorum. Princeps Philoſophorum,
Doctor, replies Taliſman, all in an Heat, Princeps
Rogorum, you mean ; I tell you Newton was a
Plagiary, and borrowed every Thing valuable from
Old Daddy Flamfleat, and made no little Uſe of
thoſe
I
of Joe THOMPSON.
167
3
Thoſe very great Men you have the Impudence to
beſpatter ſo. Highly diverted at this ludicrous
Scene of Abſurdities, I was juſt going to interfere
with a Word of Encouragement on the Parſon's
Side, who began to be out of Breath, in order to
keep Matters even ; when I was prevented by
Gage, who, banging the End of his Cane againſt
the Pavement, after an hearty Draught of Ale
cried, that he was ſure neither of them knew any
Thing about what they were talking of, and, as to
calling People Names, it was no Argument he ſaid
fr his Part, he never heard any thing bad of Sir
Iſaac Newton, and reſpected his Memory for having
proved the World to be like an Egg, tho', by God,
continues he, if it is, it is an addled one: Witneſs
the two great Men that are now diſputing about
nothing; for, d-n me, if I believe there is either
Devil or Apparition in the World, and I am ſure
it is only Prieſtcraft and Imagination. This florid
and witty Speech was ſucceeded by an Horſe
Laugh of ſome Moments, in the Concluſion of
which a miſchievous Animal commonly y’cleped
a Cat, who ſat upon the Dreſſer at the Back of our
Orator, having perceived the airy Motion of the
Ribbon that hung to the Tail of his Wig, which
was vibrated to and fro, according to the different
Inflexions of his Oration, ſuddenly jumped from
her watchful Station, and at one Spring dexterouſly
deprived his Pate of its artificial Covering, and at
the
168 Tbe Life and Adventures
the fame Time imprinted three or four fanguine
Marks in the Back of his Neck with her Talons :
He clapped his Hand behind him at the firſt Mo-
tion ſhe made, and feeling ſomewhat ſhaggy, whilſt
at the ſame Time the Landlady gave a great
Shriek at the Danger her Gueſt was in, with a
remarkable Alteration of Countenance, he ran out
of the Kitchen, muttering fome Exclamations by
the Way, which every one judged were the Reſult
of a Fright; and truly frightened he was, for, whe-
ther his late Diſcourſe, or the preſent Character of
the Houſe, had increaſed his natural Prepoffeffions
or no, he never ſtopped nor ſtaid till he got to the
Village, whence a Meſſenger foon arrived for Mr.
Taliſman to bleed him, which terminated the moſt
learned Diſpute between him and the Parſon :
Parturiunt Montes, naſcetur ridiculus Mus!
We now went to Breakfaſt; which finiſhed, and
having underſtood by our Hoſteſs's former Dir-
courſe, that the two Rogues had probably been
frightened from their Deſign, we mounted, and
ſet forward on our Journey, full of Reflections
upon the odd Humours, and habitual Villainy, of
the common Sort of People ; the unaccountable
and unconnected Diſcourſe we had heard ; and the
Succeſs that we had had, in terrifying a Parcel of
credulous Fools, and, thro' their Means, of ſpread-
ing unheard-of Wonders thro' all Parts of the
Country,
I
of Joe THOMPSON. 169
Country, where the Devil preſides under ſo many
various fantaſtic Forms.
The Remainder of our Journey produced nothing
remarkable ; my Friend's Thoughts were generally
employed in Contemplations of his future Hap-
pineſs, in the propoſed Poſſeſſion of the charming
Miſs Bellair ; and I here firſt obſerved the pro-
digious Alterations Love produces in an amorous
Mind: Such a perſon ſhall be totally abſent to
every other Concern, but that of his Affection ;
the Object of which, perpetually ſwimming before
his Fancy, renders every Thing elſe diſtaſte-
ful and abſurd ; ſo forceably does his Imagination
work, that, by a conſtant Anticipation of what he
wiſhes for, he enjoys every Minute, in Idea, the
happy Occurrences of Years to come; he converſes
with the Miſtreſs of his Fancy; and ſo ftrong is
the Inchantment, that he accuſes his Friend for
Want of Reſpect, if he impertinently breaks in upon
his Meditations : Whenever I did ſo upon Mr.
Diaper's, it was cenſured in ſo peeviſhly fretful a
Strain, that I had only one Remedy to regain his
Smiles; which was, by making myſelf a Kind of
Companion in his imaginary Tranſports, and
fuppofing myſelf preſent at ſome future Incident,
big with Bliſs and Rapture, which never failed
anſwering my End.
As foon as I diſcovered the native Seats of Peace
and Innocence, which I had been ſo long abſent
VOL.I.
I
from,
170 The Life and Adventures
from, my Joy broke forth in a thouſand tumul-
tuous Expreſſions of that Satisfaction, that ſo vi-
fibly agitated my Countenance: My Friend took
his Share in my Pleaſures ; one of the greateſt
of which was the Thought of the Joy I ſhould
give my Father and Mother, by ſeeing us; and,
to increaſe that Joy, we had forborne to write
an Account of the preciſe Time we intended to
ſet out at, for Yorkſhire, ſo that our Arrival would
be quite unexpected; and therefore we left our
Horſes at a Farmer's, about a Mile from my Fa-
ther's, where I was recogniſed with great Joy,
and ſet out on Foot for his Houſe. We arrived
juſt as the Family were fitting down to Dinner :
Mr. Diaper, who entered firſt, and whoſe Face my
Father and Mother did not eafily recollect, imme.
diately preſented me to my Mother, who, the Mi-
nute I had fixed my Eyes upon her, only cried
out, Dear Joe! and was quite overcome with the
Surpriſe: I took her in my Arms, and, begging
Pardon for my Raſhneſs, our Interchange of Ca-
refles was too tender and delicate to be deſcribed.
Father joined us, and, bleſſing us both, was
every Moment ſtraining us in his Embraces ;
the Servants wept for Joy; the whole Houſe
ecchoed forth our mutual Congtatulations; the
Neighbourhood caught the enlivening Infection ;
and Crouds of Viſitants welcomed us into the
Country. Mr. Solfa, particularly diſtinguiſhing
3
himſelf,
My
of Joe THOMPSON. izi
himſelf, ſet the Bells to Ringing; and my dear Pa-
rents, willing to make it a Kind of Jubilee, opened
tieir Houſe to all the Pariſh ; and there appeared
no End to the Endearments we experienced on e-
very Side,
The next Morning after our Arrival, Mr. Sharp-
ley and Mr. Archer, who were both acquainted the
Evening before with my Return, viſited us; and
the Sight of them revived all the Love I ſtill conti-
nued to bear to their Sons.
CHAP. XIX.
He gives his Father an Account of his Maſter's
Goodneſs. - Is pardoned his late Follies.--
Receives a Preſent from his Mother. -The
Author's Perſon deſcribed.--Viſits Sir Wal-
ter Rich.--His Reception there. -CharaEter
of Miſs Louiſa Rich.--Mr. Diaper receives
a Letter, which occaſions his Departure.
TH
HE firſt Opportunity I could obtain, I begged
the Favour of my Father to with
a few Words in Private, which he immediately
complied with ; and, taking me into his Study,
with the utmoſt Tenderneſs, inquired if I had any
particular Requeſt to make him ? If I had, my
Behaviour had been ſo agreeable to him, that I
I 2
might
172
The Life and Adventures
might be ſure of its being granted, the Minute I
mentioned it. So indulgent a Preface almoſt dif-
concerted me in my intended Diſcourſe, and for
fome Time I remained almoſt motionleſs, with my
Eyes fixed on the Ground : He took me in his
Arms, and, with a warm Preſſure, told me he
feared I was not well, or that ſomewhat oppreſſed
my Mind, which he conjured me to let him know:
Look upon me, my Dear, ſays this beſt of Men,
in the Light of a Bofom Friend; and let that take
off fomewhat of that Awe that may be inſpired by
the Preſence of a Father. I graſped his Hand, and,
after ſome further Pauſe, made him acquainted
with the numerous Follies I had been guilty of;
ſincerely relating all my unfortunate Miſhaps,
and concealing only ſuch Particulars as would
have been offenſive to the Purity of his Ears; his
Aſtoniſhment was ſo great, that I had the Oppor-
tunity to proceed, without Interruption, to enu-
merate the generous Behaviour of my good Maſter,
and my Friend, in ſuch Terms as the Warmth of
my grateful Heart inſpired; the Circumſtance of
his having undertaken to pay my Debts, and every
Thing that I thought I could not diſpenſe with my-
ſelf in concealing from him ; concluding with ſuch
Obſervations as naturally might ariſe from a View
of my Miſconduct. When I had finiſhed, I per-
ceived he was ſtrangely affected; and, defiring me
to ſtay there cill his Return, he left me in a Situation
between
of JOE THOMPSON. 173
:
between Grief at having diſcompoſed him, and Joy,
that I had got rid of the Load of Concealments,
which oppreffed me. I had not remained a Quarter
of an Hour, when he returned, and, with a Smile
of Complacency, put me out of my Pain, by tell-
ing me, that, tho' the Hearing of my Miſconduct
had given him great Diſorder, yet, as my Repentance
ſeemed ſo fincere, and my Reflections fo juft, and
that a mere Principle of Juſtice to him, and Gra-
titude to my Maſter, had moved me to this Dir-
covery, he could not excuſe himſelf from forgiving
me: Come then, my Son, come to my Arms !
and let me not be behind in the Race with this ex-
cellent Friend and Maſter : I ſhall return him my
Acknowledgments in a Letter To-morrow, and
will remit him the Sum he ſo generouſly intended
to beſtow on you: You make me Amends, my
Dear, for the Trouble you have given me, and the
Expence you have occaſioned me, by joining me,
in the Liſt of your Benefactors, with him ; and
may the Almighty, whoſe Goodneſs is ſo manifeft,
in
your
Reſtoration to Virtue and Religion, enable
you, by his gracious Aſiſtance, to perſevere in a
Courſe of ſuch Actions as are moſt agreeable to
his Will, and moſt conducive to your preſent and
eternal Happineſs. Let us ſay no more then of
Faults, I am reſolved for ever to forget you was
guilty of, and rejoin our Friends, who expect us ;
and ſo ſaying, without allowing me further Time
I 3
for
174
Toe Life and Adventures
for Acknowledgment, than juſt to kiſs his Hand,
which I wet with my Tears, he left me to com-
poſe myſelf. Before I could well get out of the
Room, I heard my Mother juſt entering; upon
which I reached from a Shelf, haſtily, a Volume
of Rowe's Plays, and dipped into that Scene of
Tamerlane, where Moneſes is ſtrangled, and ſeemed
reading, to hide my Diſcompoſure, which, upon her
Enquiry, I attributed to my Concern for Arpafia.
This ſerved my Turr, and my Mother, who now
firſt had me in Private, quite overcame me with
her Endearments, which I returned with an in-
effable Satisfaction. Nothing could equal her Ten.
derneſs for me, which ſhe gave a Looſe 10, and
even ſhed a Flood of Tears of Gladneſs, on the
Occaſion of ſeeing me again; which, I too ten-
derly loved her, not to increaſe with mine : 'Twag
then this lovely Mother put into my Hands a
Purſe with an hundred Guineas, which ſhe had
reſerved, ſhe ſaid, as a Preſent for me, the firſt
Time ſhe ſaw me in the Country ; and without
giving me Time to thank her, enquired if I had
parted with the Ring which was given me by
Miſs Rich, on Occaſion of my faving her from
the Fire ? I felt ſome Emotion at the Mention of
that Lady, and told her, bluſhingly, that it was
ſtill, and had ever been fince, upon my Finger.
She adviſed me to wait upon Sir Walter and his
Daughter, who had both expreſſed a great Regard
for
of Joe THOMPSON. 175
for me ſeveral Times, fince my Abode in London:
Nay, continues ſhe, Miſs has been almoſt my con-
ſtant Companion, ever ſince her Father removed
to the new Houfe he has built in the Neighbour-
hood; and I have conceived a very great Affection
for her, ſecond to none but that I bear to thee,
my Dear. Our further Diſcourſe was interrupted
by Mr. Diaper, who came to ſummon us to a
Game at Cards; and, taking my Mother about the
Neck, told her he would forgive her any Thing
but keeping his Friend from him ; and ſo, to pu.
niſh you, Mamma, I've reſolved to fit oppoſite to
you at a Game at Whiſt, where I'll uſe you moſt
unmercifully. We then all three adjourned into
the Parlour, where we found my Father, with our
two Friends; and it being my Chance, with Mr.
Archer, to ſtand out, and not being much inclined
to Cards, I reſolved, even then, to wait upon Sir
Walter. My Mother's Diſcourſe had raiſed a Kind
of longing Deſire in me to ſee Miſs Louiſa, which
I did not trouble myſelf to account for ; but flat-
tered myſelf, 'twas only from the View my Mo-
ther had given me of her Acquirements, and thoſe
increaſed Perfections ſhe had attained, ſince I had
feen her. From the fame Motives, I dreſſed
myſelf with more Care than ordinary, and, im-
parting my Deſign to Mr. Archer, he told me
he'd accompany me, in a Viſit to his old Friend.
In our Way we diſcourſed over the Hiſtory of my-
I 4
ſelf,
176 The Life and Adventures
ſelf, and his Son, and my Friend Sharpley, whom
we each expreſſed the ſame longing Deſire to ſee:
Mr. Archer wiſhed, in a very kind Manner, that his
Son might be improved as much as I was, when he
returned Home, and paſſed many Complimenis
on my Perſon and Appearance, telling me jocoſely
that he'd ſend circular Orders to all the Fathers
in the Weft-Riding, to keep their Daughters up till
I went again to London. This Diſcourſe, and our
intended Viſit to Miſs Rich, firſt occaſioned me
to beſtow one Conſideration upon my Perfun; but
an irreſiſtible Inclination to pleaſe, where I was
going, gave me no little Satisfaction in Mr. Ar-
cher's Opinion of me. My Stature was certainly
of the moſt commanding Sort, and my every Mo.
tion diſcovered a Strength and Firmneſs in my
Joints, that indicated me no puny Deſcendant of
my Father; my Complexion was fair, accom-
panied with a Ruddineſs in my Cheeks, that was
ſet off by dark Hair, which flowed over my
Shoulders, deſcending in Ringlets, from the Con-
finement of a Ribbon, which tied it behind: A
good-natured Softneſs in my Features gave me
a Place in a Perſon's Favour, almoſt the Minute I
appeared, which I often experienced very much
to my Advantage; add, to all this, an agreeable,
modiſh Dreſs; and I was no inconſiderable Figure
in a Country Village, as the Cuſtom of our Trade
allowed us alſo Lace upon our Hats and Waiſt-
]
I
coats,
of JOE THOMPSON. 177
1
.
coats. We got, in a little more than half an Hour,
to Sir Walter's new Seat, which partook of all
the concurrent Advantages of Air, Water, and Si-
tuation. A Walk of Elms led up to the Houſe,
which was built in the modern Tafte, and ſeemed
to beſpeak a very good Fancy in the Architect;
every Thing had an Air of rural Simplicity; and
this Villa was not loaded with ſuch Ornaments as
ſerve, indeed, to dignify a Palace in Town, but
are highly abſurd in a ruſtic Manſion, which ſeems
peculiarly intended to ſooth the Toils of Buſineſs,
to inſpire Health and Vigour, and Eaſe to the
Mind, and ſhould principally be formed to ſet off
the Beauties of Nature, without ſurfeiting her too
much with the affected Touches of Art. In ſhort,
Sir Walter ſeemed to have been inſpired with a
Beam from that Genius, which has ſo beautifully
appeared in the magnificent, yet plain and ſimple
Retreats, of a Boyle, or a Temple.
We had hardly advanced half Way up the Walk,
when we were met by Sir Walter himſelf, his Ne-
phew, and his amiable Daughter. As Sir Wälter
had heard of my Arrival, he was at no Lofs to
gueſs who I was; and therefore, tho' he vowed
he ſhould not have known me elfe, he hugged and
kiſſed me, and proteſted he was as glad to ſee me
as if I had been his own Son. I returned my Com-
pliments to him, in the politeſt Terms I was ca-
pable of, as alſo to thoſe of his Nephew, who, I
I s
could
178
The Life and Adventures
eould perceive, was much the ſame as I had left
him ; and, like many narrow fouled Wretches,
ſeemed to grudge me the Careſſes I received.
Whilſt they were giving a Welcome to Mr. Ar-
cher, I ſaluted Miſs Louiſa, and could ſee her
Colour come and go at this Interview, and indeed
I found her fo, paft all Deſcription, improved in
her Perſon, that I loſt at once all my Aſſurance,
which was converted into a timid Awe, and a
Reverence that made my Addreſs little leſs than
the Stile of Adoration. Never ſure did raptur-
ed Fancy rove over ſuch a Profuſion of Charms
and Graces, as at this Inſtant accoſted my View !
Imagination, in her moſt wanton Career, could
not picture ſo much real Excellence! Miſs Louiſa
of the middle Stature ; her Borom juſt betrayed
her Sex; and her Shape was too exquiſite to be de-
fcribed in other Words, than thoſe of Prior :
was
Fine by Degrees, and beautifully leſs :
Her lovely Neck was ſhaded with dark brown
Hair, which in ſportful Ringlets played in the
Breefe; her Face, whoſe Features were quite re-
gular, was overlooked by the fineſt Pair of Eyes,
fure, that ever kindled Love, of the exact Colour
of her Hair : An Habit of penſive Thoughtfulneſs,
which was conſtitutional in her, had ſpread an in-
imitable Languor and Softneſs through her whole
Form, that melted the very Soul; but, when the
ſmiled,
of JOE THOMPSON. 179
ſmiled, Ten thouſand reviving nameleſs Beauties
diſcovered themſelves, and the Milk-white Ivory
Teeth and the laughing, joyous Dimple that then
appeared, at the Extremity of her pretty Mouth,
had an Effect that can only be felt, and is too de-
licate for Deſcription. Her Hand was ſmaller than
uſual, even in Women of her Size; and the little
Foot, which was all her Modeſty of Temper
would ſuffer her to diſcover, when it peeped out
from its Confinement, ſeemed even too ſmall to
fupport the Miſtreſs of it. A majeſtic Dignity of
Aſpect flowing from a Conſciouſneſs of innate In-
nocence and Virtue, was the Attendant of all hér
Actions ; but, in which, the leaſt Tincture of Af-
fectation or Pride was not perceivable, and indeed
was abſolutely contradictory to her Nature. Such
was this delightful Fair-one, and no Wonder then, if
all my Faculties were abſorbed in Admiration! Oh!
have we heard the thrilling Notes breathed in the
inſpiring Airs, the gentle Cadences of the inimi.
table Handel! Such was her Voice, whoſe melodi-
ous Accents diffuſed around unutterable Gladneſs;
nor tuneful Philomel's was half ſo ſweet, who,
moſt muſical, moſt melancholy, chaunts her Griefs to
the reſponſive Groves; or the towering Lark's, who
chears the Morn, when the dappled Dawn doth
riſe !
I was ſoon wakened from the Contemplation of
theſe Graces, by the Interruption of Sir Walter
I 6
and
180
The Life and Adventures
and Mr. Archer, who approached us, juſt as Miſs
was returning my Compliments, with Congratula-
tions on my fafe Arrival in the Country, in fuch a
Manner as conveyed an Idea of her receiving great
Pleaſure from the Viſit. Well, my Boy, ſays her
Father, what doft think of Lucy, don't ſhe appear
worth ſaving from Burning, you Rogue, you? God
Zounds, I wiſh thou hadſt an Eſtate for her Sake,
or that that Youngſter, pointing to his Nephew, who
was at fonie Diſtance, would acquire thy Merit, for
whom I intend her, if he behaves well; for I think
a fine Woman, as well as a fine Eſtate, ought to be
entailed upon the Family ſhe proceeds from. This
abrupt Diſcourſe of the honeſt Baronet kindled
Bluſhes in his Daughter's Face, and, fearing the
farther Pain the Continuance might give her, Mr.
Archer propoſed to go and ſee the Houſe, which I
had never been in. Accordingly, giving the Lady
my Hand, which ſhe accepted with a Look of ex.
treme Kindneſs and Condeſcenfion, we followed
her Father, and were introduced to the Manſion,
whoſe Inſide beſpoke the Opulence of the Poffef-
for, in all the varied Furniture and Ornaments
that are the Product of Wealth, and a generous
Ure of it. As it was Evening before we arrived,
this first Viſit was but ſhort, and we parted, after
Invitations to ſee him every Day, the Knight let-
ting me know, he'd never forgive me if I did not
take an Hunt with him, and make his Houſe.my
.
Home,
of JOE THOMPSON.
131
Home, almoſt, whilft I continued in the Country;
adding, which was indeed a greater Inducement to
me than all the reft, I warrant you, Miſs Lucy here
will find ſome Way or other to entertain her Pre-
ſerver; to which ſhe gave an Inclination of Aſſent,
and in the moſt agreeable Manner imaginable in-
forced her Father's Invitation. As we returned
homewards, Mr. Archer obſerved, that I was quite
buried in Thought, and laughingly aſked me, if
I had left my Heart behind me? Ah! ſays he,
more ſeriouſly, I wiſh, my dear Thompſon, thou
hadſt the Pofleffion of that worthy Creature, who
is doomed to the Embraces of that Clodpate we ſaw
yonder, and perhaps will be made miſerable by it.
On our Arrival at Home, we were chid for our
Elopement, till we diſcovered where we had been,
and I obſerved my Friend Diaper to look more.
than ordinary melancholy; upon which, being
fearful he was not well, I aſked him to take a
Walk that fine Moon-fhine Evening, which he was
pleaſed with the Opportunity of doing, and, when we
were alone, pulled out a Letter, which he ſaid he had.
received by an Expreſs, ſince I went out, adding,
with a Sigh, there you will find the Cauſe of my
Uneaſineſs.-I muſt be gone To-morrow. I haſtily.
opened it with great Trepidation, and found it as
follows:
!
DEAR
!
182
The Life and Adventures
1
I
DEAR SIR,
Take this firſt Opportunity of paying my
Re.
ſpects to you, fince the Pleaſure your Company
afforded us; and am the more ready to do it, as I
believe your Regard to a certain young Lady will
determine you to let us ſee you as ſoon as poſſible a-
gain. Poor Miſs Sukey has had a violent Attack of a
Fever, which has at Times even rendered her deliri-
ous; and, tho'it has ſpent its baneful Fury, and ſhe is
fomewhat recovered, it has left a Weakneſs behind
it, that almoſt renders her an Object of Compaſſion,
and, for I will not conceal any Thing from you, I fear
your Abſence preys upon her Spirits as much as the
Diſtemper has done upon her Body : You are too ge-
nerous to eſteem a Woman of Merit the leſs for mak-
ing no Secret of her Regard to you, as my Siſter's
Elucation and Diſpoſition intirely render her in-
capable either of Affectation or Diflimulation. In
ſhort, dear Diaper, a Word to the Wiſe is enough,
and, if you take a Tour over here, I am ſure it will
contribute greatly to remove the poor Girl's Indiſ.
poſition ; and you are too much the Man of Ho.
nour to ſtand out, when you have ſuch a Summons
to ſurrender yourſelf at the head Quarters of your
Heart. I muſt deſire my fincere Reſpects to my
Friend Thompſon, but will not be ſo cruel to infilt
upon his bearing you Company, as it will remove
bim ſo ſoon from his Relations, tho' I long to ſee
hims
of JOE THOMPSON.
183
him; but, if he ſhould oppoſe your leaving him,
aſſure him, I'll return you again to him in a Week
at fartheſt. Mrs. Bellair fends her Compliments
to you both.
I am
Your ſincere Friend,
And humble Servant,
A. BELLAIRE
P. S. Be it remembered, that this Tour excu-
fes neither of you from your Promiſe of ſpending
fome Days with us, in your Return to London.
Take no Notice, when you ſee my Siſter, of this
Letter, and your Coming will be a greater Com-
pliment to her.
1
I could not oppoſe my Friend's Deſire to be
gone, and he was ſo impatient for the Morning,
that Sleep never entered his Eyes the whole Night,
I undertook to apologiſe for his Abfence to my
Father and Mother, who were not ſtirring when
he ſet out; ſo, writing by him an handſome Letter
to Mr. Bellair, I rode with him fome Miles, and
then left him to purſue his Journey, and returned
Home.
meer LX -----
СНАР.
{
1
184
The Life and Adventures
CH A P. XX.
He is enamoured with Miſs Louiſa.--Con-
bates with his Paſion.--Reſolves to conquer
it.-Mr. Diaper's Advice overcomes his
Reſolution.—Sir Walter fetches them to his
Houſe.
I
Soon ſatisfied my Father and Mother in Mr.
Diaper's Abſence, and now found a great and
fudden Alteration in myſe!f; Converſation, even
with thoſe beloved Perſons, became dull and in-
ſipid; I ſought out Solitudes, and was never more
uneaſy than when diſturbed in them; whole Days
together, in this Abſence of my Friend, I ſpent in
unfrequent Walks, where I might be at Liberty
to indulge my Contemplations: Alas! I had re-
ceived an Inmate into my Boſom, that rendered
me perpetually refleſs and uneaſy: Whenever I
waited upon Miſs Rich, I came away ſtill more
full of the inſinuating Infection, which bore down
all the Powers of Reaſon, which in vain I called
to my Affiltance, before it. I was even fearful of
ſeeing her, apprehenſive the tumultuous Motions
of
my Soul might get the better of my Diſcretion;
nothing pleaſed me but thinking or talking of that
dear Creature, a Flood of tender Sentiments ſoften-
ed my Breaſt, and ſometimes even melted me into
Tears:
of JOE THOMPSON. 185
Tears: Too furely I found Love had fixed his Em-
pire in my Heart, where he triumphed with more
than tyrannic Sway: Such a Progreſs had a few
Days made, that I hardly could attend a Moment
to any Thing but the Dictates of this new Paffion;
but yet it was a holy and pure Reſpect, not ming-
led with the diſordered Ravings of Luft I had ſo
often experienced: No, it took Riſe from a Know-
ledge of the Virtue, the Merit, the amiable Good-
neſs of the Object, which even Reaſon told me was
the moſt praiſe-worthy and deſerving I had ever
feen or converſed with. I longed, methought, to
make ſuch Charms of Beauty, Wit, and Truth my
own); and here I was juſtified, thus far I could
greatly excuſe myſelf; but when I conſidered, on
the other Hand, the great Diſparity of our Condi-
tions and Fortunes, the Ingratitude I ſhould be
guilty of to her Father, who loved me, and had
informed me of his Defignation of her to another,
and that ſuch a Woman would be Reward ſufficient
even for an whole Life of Pains, and Care, and In-
duſtry in the Profeſſion I was deſtined to, I ficken-
ed at the Proſpect of the Miſeries I was bringing
upon myſelf, and upon this Object of my Wiſhes,
were ſhe favourable to me; which however I had
no Reaſon to believe ſhe would, from the Know-
ledge I had of her Prudence, and the Duty and
conſtant Regard the paid to her Father ; tho'on all
Occaſions ſhe had treated me with a Diſtinction
favouring
186 Tbe Life and Adventures
.
favouring ſomewhat of the Regard due to a Bro-
ther, which was a Title ſhe always gave me, as
the called my Mother her's, and was even what
Sir Walter himſelf bad heard her with Pleaſure re-
peat. She took Notice, and feemed pleaſed with
the Value I ſet upon the dear Ring the had given
me ſo many Years ago, and ſhewed a great Fond-
neſs for my Company, and a thorough Deteſtation
of the Brute, her Couſin, which ſhe could not for-
bear even to impart to me when we were alone.
At her Harpſichord, ſhe took Delight in all the ſoft-
eſt tendereſt Airs, and, as I was mighty fond of
Hearing her, would be ever obliging me, often
requeſting me to accompany her with my Voice,
which was tolerable good, or the German Flute.
She would often, in ſeeming Compliment to me,
praiſe the Life of a Citizen, enumerate what ſhe
had heard of the ſudden Fortunes many of them
had made, and the great Families they had allied
themſelves to. Another diſcouraging Circumſtance
was my Condition of a Servant at preſent, and I
often curſed my Fate, that had given me a ful-
ceptible Heart, great and capacious; but had de-
nied me a Situation, and the Goods of Fortune, to
indulge its laudable Deſires. My Family indeed
was one of the beſt in the Country, but Sir Walter's
Eitate, which was very great, and his Title, threw
a Damp upon that Thought: I could expect at
moſt, from the Parfimony and Poſſeſſions of my Fa-
ther,
of JOE THOMPSON.
187
ther, a few Thouſand Pounds, which might enable
me to begin the World with Advantage; on the
contrary, her Fortune, independent of her Father,
was 12,000l, which had been left her by an
Uncle, and, as her Father ſhewed no Inclination to
Marriage, it was very probable his whole Eſtate
would defcend to her and her Ifiue. In fine, every
Thing ſerved to diſcourage any Attempts I might
make that Way, and, after repeated and moſt cruel
Struggles, I came to a firm Reſolution to ſtifle my
Flame, and to endeavour to cure it by Abſence?
but no one, who has not been in the ſame dreadful
Circumſtances, can imagine the horrid Confict I
had to go thro', and the Praèrice of this Reſolution
coſt me more Pain than if my Bowels had been torn
out by the Hands of an Executioner. I then re-
curred to Books, and the Converſation of my
Friends; but that would not do. I took the Tour
of the neighbouring Villages, and viſited the whole
Pariſh, who adored me for my Father's Sake; but
here every Step I went, every Houſe I entered,
preſented ſomewhat that brought my charming
Louiſa to Mind; every Family was full of her
Praiſes, and Inſtances of her Kindneſs and Bene-
volence; the Poor were cloathed by her, the
Hungry fed, and ſure ſo many Marks of the Good-
neſs, Piety, and Charity of a young Lady never
abounded
any
where before : This I found had been
her and my Mother's conſtant Employment
of
188 The Life and Adventures
of every vacant Hour, and Bleſſings and Prayers
for her Welfare were heard on every Side. I now
became a Votary to the Chace, and other Country
Sports; but here I was ſo often thrown into the
Way of Sir Walter and his Kinſman, that I could
bear it no longer; the one always foreing me Home
with him, where I was ſure to ſee the Cauſe of my
Diſtreſs; and the other being quite obnoxious to
my Sight, from the Idea I had of his enſuing Hap-
pineſs : And, on his Part, regarding the Favours I
received as fo many Inſults upon himſelf, and as
low Minds are eaſily inſpired with Suſpicions, he
thought he ſaw ſomewhat more than ordinary be-
tween Miſs Louiſa and myſelf, which in an invidious
Way he inſinuated frequently to his Uncle, who only
laughed at hin, and called him Fool for his Pains :
You Blockhead, would he often fay, you have no
Worth yourſelf, and are jealous of every body that
has; Zounds, it's Time enough to confine her to
your Company and Humours, when ſhe is married
to thee. In this impartial Manner could Sir Wale
ter judge, and yet was determined to ſacrifice his
Daughter to a Wretch he deſpiſed. Upon my
Friend's Return, who had quite by his Preſence
chaced away Miſs Bellair's Diſorder, and was more
and more inamoured with that lovely Woman, I
propoſed to my Father, that we ſhould accept of an
Invitation made us by Mr. Archer and Mr. Sharp-
ley, to ſpend a Week or two at their Houſes; which
he
i
of Joe THOMPSON. 189
he readily complied with, and accompanied us
himſelf there for a few Days: Here, I thought I
bid fair for Eale, in their Converſation, and the
Amuſements they had provided us; but, alas !
'twas Flying from myſelf; and I grew ſo viſibly
altered, that a Man of leſs Difcernment than
Mr. Diaper would have ſuſpected the Cauſe. He
had often ſeen Miſs Rich, and was full of her
Praiſes; and, by obſerving my Behaviour in her
Company, had formed a near Gueſs at my Dif-
order; ſo that he ſeemed not at all ſurpriſed,
when I opened my Situation to him: But gueſs
my Amaze, when, inſtead of aſlifting me to con-
quer my Paſſion, he ſpoke to the following Ef-
fect: Dear Friend, I am ſorry you make yourſelf
ſo uneaſy ; conſider, Sir IValter is doing a Work
that God and Nature muſt equally diſapprove, and
a Work that is as abſurd to attempt, as to reconcile
Antipathies: No, no, I would aſſiſt you in any
Thing to relieve that worthy young Lady from
the impending Ruin that awaits her, in the pro-
poſed Match with that Wretch her Father ſeems
determined to give her to; and as to you, my
dear Joey, in my Eye, you are an equal Match
for her, or any other Woman. I'll propoſe to my
Father, as ſoon as we return, to take you into
Partnerſhip; and in a few Years Sir Walter will
not bluſh at an Alliance with you; I'm ſure if he
does, the has a Fortune independent of him ; and
I don's
190
The Life and Adventures
I don't think we are bound to obey our Parents,
in what would not only end in our Unhappineſs,
but be one of the greateſt Crimes we could com-
mit, an Offence againſt Heaven itſelf: Endeavour
then, by all lawful Means, to gain her Affection;
and, as to the Time you have to ſerve, I know my
Father's Regard to you ſo well, that it need give
you no Manner of Uneaſineſs. How eaſily are
we reaſoned into our Wiſhes, and brought to fol-
low our Inclinations ! but the Kindneſs, the Friend-
fhip, of this dear Youth, brought Tears into my
Eyes, and I remained in his Arms fome Minutes
without Speaking, his Generoſity had ſo affected
me: When I recovered, my Acknowledgments
were extreme; and I could have no Objection to
what he ſaid, fo exa&ly his Advice tallied with my
Deſires. I returned to my uſual Tranquillity, and
was now as eager to return Home, as I had been
before to come away from thence.
I was in this State of Mind, when one Morno
ing Sir Walter came hallooing at Mr. Archer's
Door; and, diſmounting, came up to our Bed-
chamber, where we had juſt begun to dreſs our-
ſelves: Lads, Lads, we can do no longer without
you at Home; my Daughter obliges me to give
a Ball To-night, to the neighbouring good People,
in order to have both your Companies ; ſo make no
Words, but mount, and away with me directly;
mayhap we may ſtart Game as we return, which
we'll
of JOE THOMPSON.
191
we'll carry Home as Part of our Dinner. We
made no Reply; and he wenton, in his merry Way,
till we were ready to go, when, taking Leave of
our good Friends, who promiſed to be with us in
a Day or two, we rode after Sir Walter, who was
heartily vexed we could meet with nothing in our
Way to his Houſe worth killing; where we arrived
about Noon, after a very pleaſant Ride, in which
we entertained him with various Relations of Town
Adventures, at which he lifted up his Eyes, and
was ſure, he ſaid, London was the Devil.
CHAP. XXI.
7
They are received with great pleaſure by Miſs
Louiſa.--He dan: es with her at the Ball.
An Accident diſcovers his Afellion to her.
The Reception it meets with. He is af-
Saulted and wounded, by ſome Perſons un-
known.--Carried to Sir Walter's.-Di-
jtreſs of Miſs Louiſa, on the Occaſiol.--
She declares her Love for him.
IR Walter would not permit us to go Home
to ſhift our Linnen, but lent us a Servant to
fend for freſh Cloaths from my Father's; and, at
the ſame Time, to invite him, and my Mother,
to his Daughter's Eveping Entertainment. When
SB
we
192
The Life and Adventures
we were drefled, he introduced us to that young
Lady, who was habited in a white Damaſk Sacque,
which flowed looſely about her, with an Air of
beautiful Negligence ; and ſhe was ſo brightly be-
ſpangled with Jewels, in her Stomacher and other
Parts of her Apparel, that I never beheld a more
fumptuous Sight; but her Ornaments borrowed
Luſtre from her, inſtead of increaſing her Charms,
and ſerved only as ſo many Foils to ſet off her
blooming Graces. After the uſual Compliments,
ſhe joined with her Father in rallying me, for ab-
ſenting myſelf from their Houſe; which drew a Sigh
from me, which it was not in my Power to ſuppreſs,
and which I found the perceived, and innocently
aſked me if I had not been well; which I anſwered,
in aſſuring her, that nothing but a certain melan-
choly Diſorder, that for ſome time had oppreſſed
me, would have detained me from the only Con-
verſation that I delighted in. She ſeemed to be
concerned at what I ſaid, and was going to reply,
when Dinner was ſerved up, and we ſat down to
Table. Amongſt other Diſhes, was a Chicken Pye,
which, ſays the lovely Creature, I've heard you
ſay, Mr. Thompſon, was your Favourite, and I
made it on Purpoſe for you; and therefore you
muſt oblige me, by eating very beartily. Such
an Inſtance of Regard tranſported me; and I re-
plied, wiih a Tone and Manner, that let her
eaſily conceive how much I thought myſelf ob-
liged;
of JOE THOMPSON. 193
liged; our Converſation grew quite briſk; and my
Angel Miſtreſs ſaid and did ſo many agreeable
Things, that my Friend, as well as myſelf, was
full of Admiration : The old Gentleman was ready
to jump out of his Skin for Joy, and proteſted that
I had inſpired her by my Company; Why, my
Boy, ſhe had drooped ever ſince you have been
gone, ſays he; but if ever you ſerve her ſuch a Trick
again, whilft you ſtay in the Country, I'll never
forgive you; nor I neither, I aſſure you, Papa,
ſays Miſs, with an inimitable Pleaſantneſs in her
Smile : Ay, ay, replies Sir Walter, I, and Numps
here, meaning his Nephew, are nothing in the
World with her; ſhe loves your Company, becauſe
you read and underſtand Books, and ſuch kind
of Things, which we don’ know the Uſe of, fur.
ther than the Bible, and Shaw's Juſtice, and fa-
cob's Law Dictionary, may-hap. Night approached,
and Company poured in very faſt, which forced us
to adjourn into the Ball-room, which was decked
in a very ſplendid and genteel Manner ; and during
the whole Time it laſted, I had the Happineſs to
be Partner to my charming Creature, every Touch
of whoſe Hand fired a-new my Soul. Her Couſin
was buſy mean while in Drinking and Carouſ-
ing with his Companions in the Hall, this Man-
ner of ſpending Time not being ſuitable to his
Taſte or Education. Sir Walter danced with my
Mother; and Mr. Diaper procured an agreeable
VOL. I.
K
Partner
194
The Life and Adventures
!
Partner, in a young Lady of the Neighbourhood;
and the whole concluded with an elegant cold Re-
paſt, which ſhewed the polite Judgment of the Mi-
ſtreſs of the Treat. Sir Walter would not permit
us to leave him that Night; and, after his Daughter
retired to Reſt, reſo!ved that we ſhould both ac-
company him in a Debauch ; where we drank ſo
freely, tho' contrary to our uſual Cuſtom, that
'twas with Difficulty we ſteered our Way to Bed ;
Sir Walter declaring with an Oath, that we were
heartier Cocks than he thought us to be, and not
ſuch wiſhy-waſhy Fellows as he frequently met
with from London.
The next Day Sir Walter propoſed to take an
Airing, on Horſeback, upon the neighbouring
Downs; and his Daughter very readily conſented
to bear us Company. No Woman ever fat a Side-
Saddle with better Grace! She looked like Diana
herſelf, in a Riding-habit, which was the richeſt
that the indulgent Fondneſs of her Father could
procure for her! The Pad ſhe rode, which was
a beautiful, long-tailed, Cheſnut, ſeemed proud of
his Burthen, and champed the Bit, and pawed the
Earth, with a ſeeming Conſciouſneſs of the Ho-
pour he received in ſuch a Rider. We had juſt
gained the Downs, when the Beaſt, who was na-
turally ſtartilh, ſuddenly deſcrying ſome Object
that ſurpriſed him, curvetted to one side, and im-
mediately after ſet up ſuch a Race, that it was not
in
T
of JOE THOMPSON. 195
-
her up
in the Power of the Bridle to controul him. Sir
Walter and my Friend were à conſiderable Way
behind us, when this happened, and I was riding
by her Side ; ſhe gave a Shriek, and the vicious
Creature tore up the very Ground before him ;
diſtracted with the Danger the Life of my Soul
was in, all wild and apprehenfive for her Safety,
I clapped Spurs to my Horſe, endeavouring to over-
take and ſtop her's; which, before I could effect,
he ſtumbled in an Hole, in his full Career, and
came down, caſting the frighted Fair-one at ſome
Diſtance from him, where ſhe lay in a Swoon, when
I came up, and diſmounted. I immediately took
in iny Arms, and, in the firſt Agonies of
my Grief, could not help crying aloud, my Tears
deſcended plentifully upon her lovely Face, which
Jay reclined, all pale and wan, upon my bolom.
Heavens! What an unfortunate Wretch am
I! Oh ye Powers reſtore mne the lovely Maid,
or let my Breath expire with her's ! But, alas!
the hears me not, and already ſhe's no more!
Whether the Tears I fhed, or theſe disjointed Ex-
clamations, brought her to herſelf, I can't ſay;
but a Sigh, which heaved her panting Breaſt,
gave me the inexpreſſible Satisfaction of thinking
her alive: Gracious God! I continued, give me
back the charming Maid, the Pattern of your own
Excellence! and, cafting my Eyes down, per-
ceived her's were opened; when, in the Tumult
K 2
of
196 The Life and Adventures
of my Joy, I imprinted an eager Kiſs upon her
Forehead; but, recollecting myſelf, I bluſhed, and
was ready to ſink into the Earth, for my Preſump-
tion: She drew herſelf out of my Arms, and gently
ſaid, Mr. Thompſon, I'm troubleſome, I can walk :
Dear Madam, I faulteringly ſaid, let me ſupport
you, you are certainly hurt; and by this Time our
two Friends came up, and had caught the Horſe,
who, after his Fault, was galloping Home, and
firſt gave Tidings of the Misfortune. I wiped my
Face, and ſtrove to conceal my Tears. Sir Walter
was mad with Joy, that his Daughter had received
no Hurt; and my Friend took his Share of the
general Satisfaction! As to me, I was quite abaſhed
at the Thought of having incurred her Anger, by
my Rahneſs, and the Diſcovery I had made of
my Sentiments; and, removing her Side-ſaddle to
my Horſe, without daring to look at her, afliſted
her to remount. Sir IV alter embraced me over
and over, and was ſo full of the Service I had done
her, that nothing elſe employed him but Thanks
and Praiſes all the Way Home; ſhe ſaid very little,
and ſeemed quite reſerved, which was attributed
to the Accident that had juſt befallen her ; but I
interpreted it as Reſentment againſt me, and the
Thought racked me with the greateſt Torture.
As ſoon as we arrived, ſhe begged Leave to retire,
and went to Bed, and her Woman brought Word
down that ſhe was very ill; upon which, proper
AMſtance
of JOE THOMPSON. 197
I
Afliltance was called, and we were all in the ut-
moſt Pain and Anxiety for her. I reſolved not
to ſtir till ſhe was better; and Sir Walter took
our Concern very kindly; but, good God, the
Pangs that I felt were indeſcribable, and my Friend
could ſcarce keep me from doing ſome deſperate
Deed upon myſelf, till Word was brought us down
that ſhe was fallen into a Doze, after taking fome-
what to compoſe her. The next Morning, to my
extreme Satisfaction, ſhe was perfectly recovered,
and appeared at Breakfaſt, if poſſible, more in-
chanting than ever; but I was the only Sufferer,
to whom the behaved with ſuch a Diſtance, tho'
with the utmoſt Gentility, that I curſed a Thou-
fand Times the Imprudence that had robbed me at
once of che ſweet Familiarity I had before en-
joyed: However, ſhe returned me her Thanks
with ſo much feeling Sincerity, that I had Reaſon
to rejoice in the Service I was ſo happy to render
her, on this Occaſion; but I could not overcome
my
timid Confuſion, which ſcarce allowed me to
ſpeak three Words, the whole Time of Breakfaſt ;
and I took Leave in a Situation of Mind, that
made me an Object of Compaffion; and arriving
at Home, as ſoon as Decency would permit me, I
retired, to vent my Sorrows in Private. For ſome
Days a State of ftupid Melancholy poſſeſſed me,
which made my Mother very uneaſy, and was al-
fcribed to Illneſs, when a Meſſage arrived from
K 3
Miſs
198 The Life and Adventures
Iviiſs Louiſa, to deſire my Company; glad Tidings
indeed! which in a Minute diſpelled my Gloom,
and I ſet out, immediately, for her wiſhed for
Preſence. In entering the open Walk to Sir
IValter's Houſe, was a kind of Wilderneſs, which
partly Nature, and partly Art, had made quite
private, and concealed from View: Thro' this
Maze I directed my Steps, as it was the neareſt
Way; and had got half thro', when I received a
fudden Shot from a Piſtol, which grazed the Side
of my Head, and almoſt ſtunned me; and, before
I could turn about, to diſcover the Hand it came
from, I was faluted with a Blow over my Arm,
and a ſecond over my Head, which felled me,
fenſeleſs to the Ground. I had no Time for Re.
flection before my Fall; and whether the ill
Uſage from theſe Affaflins was repeated, or what
followed, I can't tell; for the firſt Diſcovery I
made, when I recovered my Senſes, was my Fa-
ther and my Friend, weeping by my Bed-ſide,
which ſeemed to be in a very ſtrange Place, which
I did not at all recollect. I found myſelf weak
and feeble, and could ſcarce ſpeak, but inquired,
with a faint Voice, where I was, and what brought
me there? They were overjoyed to perceive I had
ſo well recovered my Underſtanding, but tenderly
begged me to compoſe myſelf, and, in due Time,
I ſhould be informed of every Thing: They ſaid
no more; and I could ſee, by the Sorrow diſplayed
in
of Joe THOMPSON. 199
in their Countenances, that I had been very dan-
gerouſly ill. For ſome Hours I kept myſelf ftill,
according to their Defire; but, tho’
my
Weakneſs
fill was extreme, I heard every Thing that was
faid, and ſaw my Mother very afliduous about
me, and, to my great Surpriſe, Sir Walter, Mr.
Archer, and Mr. Sharpley, frequently in the Room,
inquiring how I did ? Being left in the latter Part
of the Day, with only Mr. Diaper by me, I
beckoned him to my Bed-ſide, and begged to know
what had happened; but he ſtill refuſed me, and
defired me earneſtly, not to enquire any Thing
till I was more capable to attend the Recital. I
was forced to comply, and was three Days longer
in this Uncertainty, in which Time
my Youth got
the better of my Illneſs, and I recovered ſo faſt,
that I was able to crawl about the Chamber, by
Means of holding by the Chairs and Tables, and
in two Days more, without any Afiſtance, tho'
my Arm pained me violently ftill: 'Twas now that
my Friend, who was ever with me, ventured to
talk to me, and, in Anſwer to my Queries, ſpoke
thus : Bleſſed be God, my dear Joey, that
fo well again; you have gone thro' an intollerable
Fever, attended with a conſtant Delirium, of near
ten Days, in which every body deſpaired of your
Life; and you may judge the Grief and Sorrow
it occaſioned to us all, eſpecially as the Authors of
your horrid ill Treatment were not known, nor
could
you are
KA
1
200 The Life and Adventures
could be gueſſed at, or found, upon the moſt dili-
gent Search; for you was diſcovered weltering in
your
Gore in Sir Walter's Wilderneſs, in all Appeara
arce dead, by ſome of his Servants, who conveyed
you to his Houſe, where you have been ever fince,
and are at preſent in his own Bed-chamber; and I
may venture to tell you, fince your Recovery has
had a like effect on her, that Miſs Louiſa has been
almoſt as bad as yourſelf: When you was firſt
brought to her Father's in that Condition, the
fwooned away, and was with Difficulty brought to
herſelf, but when the Surgeons had pronounced
your Cafe to be very bad, and doubtful at beft,
her Concern could be no longer hid; ſhe wept,
and, in a frantic Manner, tore her lovely Hair,
and expreſſed ſuch a Regard for you, as ſurpriſed
every body, which was ſucceeded by a Fever which
had well nigh put a Period to her Life. Sir IValter,
at preſent, thinks this the Effect only of her
Friendſhip; but your Mother and her Woman
are Witneſſes to the contrary ; in her light-headed
Condition, fhe was inceflantly calling on her dear
Thompſon ; ſaid ſhe could not live without you ;
and expreſſed ſuch a peculiar Tenderneſs for you,
that any one might gueſs the Cauſe. In Propor-
tion as you have recovered, ſhe has gained Strength,
and is now better than yourſelf; but, tho' ſhe is
ever inquiring after you, the has intreated your
Mother, and charged her Woman not to mention
the
of JOE THOMPSON. 201
the unguarded Things ſhe has ſaid. I congratulate
you and myſelf on this Diſcovery, which, I hope,
will haſten your Cure. No one can tell, my
dear Joey, the Grief and Trouble you have put
your Father and Mother in, and how greatly
affected I have been with the Danger of ſo ineſti-
mable a Friend ; and Sir Walter has ſhewn as much
Regard for you, as if you had been his own Son,
notwithſtanding his Diſtraction for the Illneſs of
his Daughter. Pray now tell me, my Friend,
how you came by ſuch Wounds in your Head, and
that Fracture of your Arin, which has puzzled the
Skill of the beſt of Surgeons about us? I gave Mr.
Diaper an Account of the Affair, which amazed
him ; but after all our Guefles, tho' there ſeemed
so be ſo viſible an Intent to deſtroy me, we could
not conjecture who could make ſuch an Attempt,
as I had never diſobliged any one in that Part of
the Country, and was univerſally beloved. Tho'
my Grief roſe to a great Pitch, at the Thoughts
of my Louiſa's Illneſs, yet what I had heard fo tranf-
ported me, that I forgot even that, and my own,
and indulged an hundred Extaſies and Tranſports !
The glad Knowledge of her tender Sentiments to-
wards me made me almoſt bleſs the cruel Hand
that involved me in ſo much Danger, and made
the Diſcovery: I exulted in my Happineſs, as
much as if I had her already mine; and the Joy
it occafioned ſoon brought me to my priſtine Health
and
K 5
202
The Life and Adventures
and Vigour. That dear Creature likewiſe became
ſo well, as to be able to leave her Chamber : Our
Inquiries after one another had been repeated every
Minute; and now, that I was recovered ſo much,
I burnt for an Opportunity to ſee her, in which I
reſolved to profit by my Friend's Advice, and not
betray the Knowledge I had acquired. Sir Walter
reſolved to keep me there a Week after the Cure;
upon which my Father, Mother, and Mr. Diaper,
Mr. Archer, and Mr. Sharpley, returned to our
Houſe, after the higheſt Acknowledgments to Sir
Walter for his Goodneſs to me, the two laſt-
mentioned Gentlemen having been his Gueſts, on
the ſame Occaſion, their Regard for me having
made them too anxious to return Home, from
whence the News of my Misfortune had brought
them, till I was perfectly out of Danger.
i
CHA P. XXII.
Miſs Louiſa confeſſes her Regard for him.--
Her amiable Sincerity and Prudence. He
is overcome by her Goodneſs.-They vow
eternal Conſtancy.--Natural Rhapſody on
Love.--Their Conje&tures of the late Afault.
Was overcome with Sadneſs, the firſt Time I
I
ſaw the Charmer of my Soul after her In-
diſpoſition, the Roſes being quite vaniſed from
her
of JOE THOMPSON. - 203
her Cheeks; and ſhe was grown ſo thin and pale,
ſhe was ſcarcely to be known. I accoſted her with
a trembling Accent, and expreſſed my Sorrow at
her late Illneſs; which ſhe received in fo affect-
ing a Manner, and was ſo overjoyed to ſee me
recovered, that the Roſes again reviſited her
Face, and a kindling Bluſh of conſcious Pleaſure
overſpread her Countenance. Sir Walter gave us
both Joy on the Occaſion, and, in his Way, ſaid
a Thouſand Things that favoured of his great Af-
fection for his Daughter, and bis Regard to me ;
and, after ſitting ſome Time, leſt us alone. Now,
I was at the greateſt Loſs imaginable how to be-
have, and hardly dared lift up my Eyes to her; a
thrilling Tranſport, mingled with Awe, invaded
my whole Frame, and, for ſome Moments, I re-
mained ſpeechleſs and immoveable;' at length ar-
ſuming Courage, I threw myſelf at her Feet, and
broke Silence in this Manner: Ah! lovelieſt of
Women! juſtly have I been puniſhed for my Pre-
ſumption and Temerity, in daring to expreſs the
fond Concern of my Heart at your late Danger;
but, as your Diſpoſition is Mercy itſelf, pardon
me, deareſt Madam, the Crime I was guilty of;
'twas what nothing ſhould ever have prevailed on
me to commit, and flowed involuntarily from me,
when I feared I was going to loſe you! Pity me,
and forgive me, and don't baniſh me from your
reviving Preſence for ever! Her Aſtoniſhment
K 6
at
204
The Life and Adventures
at this ſudden Action was ſo great, that ſhe could
not interrupt me, and I went on: I muſt confeſs
I love you, but is it my Fault? No, all that ſee
your Perfections do the ſame: Oh! then accept
the humble Adoration I ſhall ever pay you, which
fhall never diſturb your happy Moments; and, tho'
I can't conquer my raſh and fatal Paſſion, I will
keep it within ſuch ftria Limits, that it ſhall never
in the leaſt offend you. Alas! Madam, is it poſſible
for me longer to conceal the Effects of your won-
derous Charms, or to reſiſt the Empire you have
cver all my Thoughts and Actions ! an Empire
more acquired by your Virtue, your good Senfe,
and your Amiableneſs of Soul, than by the exte-
rior Graces of your Perſon. Let the miſerable
Situation I am involved in excite your Commiſe-
ration ; behold me, conſcious of having an Heart
capable of all the ſublime and generous Motions
of Love, and yet infinitely inamoured of an Ob-
ject, that, tho' Reaſon convinces me, I ſhould be
for ever happy in, and endeavour to communicate
the higheſt Satisfaction to; yet me even denies me
Hope of the Poffeffion of it, in the moſt diſtant De-
gree: No, I own my ambitious Preſumption does
not aim ſo high ; fuffer me, in Anguiſh, however,
to foiile in myſelf, and ſay that you do not utterly
deſpiſe me! Here the Goddeſs of my Supplications,
raiſing me with her Hand, which I imprin:ed an
hundred burning Kiſſes upon, before it could he
withdrawn j
of JOE THOMPSON. 205
}
{
withdrawn; and, ſtriving to conceal a Confuſion
that rendered her ſtill more lovely ; broke Si-
lence in this Manner: Were I, Mr. Thompſon,
to conſult the prudential, on the political Maxims
of
my
Sex, I ſhould retire from your Declarations,
without vouchſafing you any other Anſwer, than
the haughty Diſdain you ought to think you have
deſerved; but let me be a Woman, and yet Proof
againſt her natural Inſincerity; 'tis too late to
deny to you, fince the Cauſe of my late Illneſs has
been too plain to your Friends, I ſay, Sir; and
here the lovely Face was painted with ſuch a crim-
ſon Dye, as juſt illumines the Horiſon when the Sun
firſt ſtreaks the Skies with his aſcending Rays !
'Twould be an Inſincerity, which my Mind would
condemn me for greatly, were I to deny that I
have a proper Regard for your Merit, that I eſteem
your
Perſon, and think myſelf greatly obliged to
you for ſome Inftances of your Friendſhip to
me,
which in an Heart like mine, which cannot
be obliged, and at the fame Time, affect an In-
ſenſibility of the Obligation, may have been very
forceable Recommendations to me in your Fa-
All the native Pride of our Sex, Sir, as I
know you to be a Man of Honour, ſhould not
with-hold me from indulging this Eſteem of you to
a greater Degree; here a Sigh, unnoted by her
dear Self, heaved her generous Breaſt; but I have
ever reſolved not to diſobey my Father, who, !
hope,
Vour.
206 The Life and Adventures
hope, will have ſo much Affection for me, as not
to force me to a Match he has often talked of,
which will undoubtedly make me the moſt miſe-
rable of Beings : As to my Part, let me own, that,
be our Fortunes ever ſo different, a Gentleman of
Mr. Thompſon's Rectitude of Mind, and Purity of
Sentiment, would determine me to follow
my
In-
clinations; but, Sir, let us ſay no more of what
feems to affect us both ſo much. Say no more,
Madam, I cried, in an Extaſy of Tranſport, after
this melting Diſcovery, ſay no more; as well you
might reſtrain the Thankſgivings that pour forth
from the grateful Mariner, who has unexpectedly
landed, after Shipwreck, on ſome hoſpitable Shore;
as well the Raptures that proceed from the dying
Penitent, when the gleaming Hopes of Mercy have
been viſiting his departing Soul; as ſtem the Torrent
of my Acknowledgments, which muſt, which will
bave Utterance ! On adorable Louiſa ! you have in-
deed raiſed me from Death, to a new, an added
Senſe of the Importance of my Being, ſince you
intereſt yourſelf in my Fate: Forgive me, my
angelic Comforter, if in the Wildneſs of my
Tranſports, I am not able to expreſs myſelf in
ſober, temperate Language ! O ye ſoft Zephyrs,
whiſper the kind, the tender Accents, of my
Louiſa, in every fanning Breeſe that murmurs
thro' the Grove! tell it ye, imitative Ecchoes !
catch the heavenly Sounds, and propagate the
Strains
..
of JOE THOMPSON.
207
Strains I've heard around! Oh happy, happy,
Youth! what envied Bliſs ! ſuperior Joys are
mine! Let the Pains, the corroding Cares of Mor-
tality, rage as they lift, the Idea that the ever-
fenfible, the blooming Fair, pants for my Wel-
fare, wiſhes every Bleſſing that I aſpire to ſhare,
will bear me ſafely thro' the gathering Storms!
Here the Workings of my Imagination had fo
ſtrongly affected me, that my weakened Faculties
were no longer able to ſupport them, and I funk
down, without Life, at her Feet ; at which the
gave
a Shriek, and the Servants ran in to her Affiſtance,
and carried me to Bed, where, when I came to
myſelf, I turned my Eyes about, and ſaw her
ſitcing by me, with earneſt Cares employed for my
Recovery. I begged her Pardon for the Diſturbance
I had given her, as well as my Weakneſs would
permit; and ſhe ſweetly and tenderly deſired me
to compoſe myſelf, for Fear I ſhould indanger ano-
ther Attack of my Fever, by the Tumults of my
Mind. How judiciouſly did the inculcate to me
the Government of our Paſſions, and arged the fu-
ture Enjoyment of each other's Company in Safety,
as a Reaſon for my Moderation, for Fear of cauſing
any Suſpicions of my Sentiments in her Father and
her Couſin, who of late had more than ordinarily
pried after every Thing that occurred between
us, and began to be a conſtant, troubleſome Gueſt,
whenever we were engaged. Let me, for I can
3
hide
208 The Life and Adventure's
hide it no longer from you, Mr. Thompſon, ſays the
deareſt and beſt of Creatures, confeſs that I have
a tender Regard for you ; that I ſhould think my-
ſelf unhappy with any body elſe ; and, tho' I have
all the Reſpect and Duty poſſible for my Father ;
yet, I freely own, I ſhould be diſobedient if I
were ordered to make Choice of the Wretch he,
I find, propoſes to give me to : For, if he had alt
the other Qualifications I could with in a Man,
I would chuſe for a Companion in Life, yet
his natural Brutality of Temper, and the Baſeneſs
of his Principles, would render him deteftable:
No, Sir, nothing but a Similitude of Sentiments,
an Union of Souls, a thorough and mutual Liking
of each other, can make the Marriage State eligi-
ble ; but let me, Mr. Thompſon, have no Reaſon to
accuſe myſelf of Indiſcretion and Weakneſs in mak-
ing a Confeffion ſo oppoſite to the general Maxims of
my Sex, whoſe Hypocriſy and Pride, on ſuch Occaſi-
ons, teach then to hide the Motions of their Heats,
and to take Pleaſure in the little ſervile- Complai-
fance they exact of their Lovers: I am above thoſe
mean Arts, and you will be generous enough, I
don't doubt, to make a proper Eſtimation of what I
have been tempted to ſay in your Behalf : We are
yet young enough, and Time and Application
may render you as agreeable in the Eyes of my
Father, for a Son, as you are now for a Friend ; for
be aſſured I will never marry without his Conſent',
any
of JOE THOMPSON. 209
any more than I will make myfelf miſerable to pleaſe
his Humour. Here ſhe ceaſed, and, raiſing myſelf
in the Bed, I aſſured her my Sentiments were, and
ever ſhould be, conformable to her’s ; but excuſe
me, deareſt Madam, if I here proteſt before Al-
mighty God, that I will never indulge a Thought
contrary to my Affection to you, and that, let
what good or ill Fortune ſoever betide me, you,
and only you, ſhall be the Miſtreſs of my Heart.
And, ſays my Angel, with equal Vivacity, in the
Preſence of the ſame Being, I'here vow, that, if I
am not to be allied to you, my Maiden Name ſhall
deſcend with me to the Grave! I could not forbear
kiſſing her Hand, with inexpreffible Ardor, for
this infinitely kind Condeſcenſion; which with
fome Reluctance fhe permitted me to do, and
oh ! let any Lover, who has been ſo exquiſitely
happy, figure the Situation, the bliſsful Situation
I was in at this Time, and he will wonder I could
keep my Tranſports from breaking out into far-
ther Actions of an inamoured, overjoyed, and rap-
tured Soul. Oh! the ſerene Calm
my
Boſom now
began to feel is inexpreſſible. Methought I had
aflumed a new and more improved State of Exill-
ence, and ſoared above the Fetters of Morta-
lity!
Hail, ſofteſt, ſweeteſt, moſt delightful Paſſion
that warms the human Heart! If Virtue, and if
Merit dignify thy Triumphs, what real, ſolid Bliſs
thou
10
The Life and Adventures
thou canſt impart! Hail, Gueſt ſublime, all pure
and lovely, thou art wiſely given by Providence a-
dored, to footh the Ills of Life! “ The cordial Drop
“ Heav'n in our Cup has thrown," to balance all
our Pains and numerous Ills: By thee, each ſordid
Notion is exiled, and every Sentiment refined ;
“ our Miens are faſhion'd, and our Tongues are
“ fild :" Charmed with the Love of my adored
Louiſa, I breathed a purer Element, and ſeem'd,
nor only ſeem'd, but was inſpir’d! The little baſe
Deſires indulged before, now fickened in my
Thoughts, how mean, how low, how trivial !
IV ho to forbidden Joys would rove,
That knows the Sweets of virtuous Love !
ADDISON.
The preſent Eaſe of my Mind had ſuch an Effect
on my Body, that I was ſoon reſtored to my pri-
ftine Health, and had at the ſame Time the Plea-
ſure to ſee my Louiſa's Countenance arrayed in
her uſual Smiles ; the beauteous Vermeil, which
had been ſo long baniſhed, reſumed its Seat in her
Cheeks, and gave an added Luſtre to her Graces.
Till this Time ſhe had forgot to inquire into the
Manner I received "my late Hurts, and the Conſe-
quences were to me ſo falutary, that I even count-
ed the Aſſault made upon me a Bleſſing rather than
a Misfortune; but when I happened to ſay, that I
was coming to pay her a Vifit, purſuant to a Mer-
{age
of JOE THOMPSON. 2 II
fage I had received from her, ſhe was aſtoniſhed,
and proteſted ſhe had never ſent to me, nay, had,
even at that period, reſolved, if poſſible, to wean
herſelf from my Company, fearful of the Effects of
that inſinuating Paſſion that ſhe found had affaulted
her Breaſt. This opened a Field of Conjectures
about the Author or Authors of the Cruelties that
had been acted upon me, and we could, after long
Examination, fix upon no one fo likely to have en-
gaged in ſo raſh and baſe an Attempt, as her Cou-
fin, who, tho' ſhe believed he had little Affection
for her, was too much ſwayed by his Intereft to
look upon her Regard for me with any Meaſure of
Patience or Forbearance.
CH A P. XXIII.
She makes him her Confidant.--Her amiable Bee
nevolence and Charity. --She ſurpriſes him
by a Proof of her Goodneſs.-Story of an
unfortunate Family.-- Advice to young Le-
dies.--He makes a Diſcovery which he in-
parts to her.-Her Sentiments of Religion.
OW, the gladſome Hours Aowed in jocund
Rounds, and all was Happineſs, and all was
Love; each conſcious Walk, each embowering
Shade, was Witneſs to the bliſsful Moments I
ſpent in the Converſation, in the Contemplation
of
N.
212
The Life and Adventures
:
of my amiable Louiſa : Every Day diſcovered ſtill
more and more Perfections in the Soul of that
lovely Maid ; I grew quite another Sort of Crea-
ture, and was ſo improved by her Wit and good
Senſe, that I breathed nothing but generous and
noble Sentiments and Deſires. It was one ſmiling
Morn, when I was in raptured Accents, ſpeaking
my Gratitude and Acknowledgments, that fhe in-
terrupted me, and, with a Voice that ſpoke the
ſofteſt Melody, told me, ſhe was reſolved to im.
part all the Pleaſure ſhe was now capable of be-
ftowing upon me, and make me the Confidant of
ſome Secrets, that the doubted not would
give me heightened Satisfaction; in ſhort, Mr.
Thompſon, I will give you a Specimen of the Man-
ner in which I chuſe to ſpend ſome Part of my
Time, which has given me ineffable Delight, and
contains all the Secrecy I ever thought myſelf obli-
ged or inclined to obſerve. My Father's Gene-
roſity of Temper yields me an Opportunity, from
the Overplus of my own Expences, to diffufe a
Number of little benevolent Kindneſſes amongſt
the poor Inhabitants of the neighbouring Villages,
whom I endeavour to make as happy as I can,
with what Providence has beſtowed upon me.
You muſt know, Sir, I think this one of the moſt
grateful Returns I can make to my Creator, for
the Bleſſings of Abundance and Plenty he has im-
parted to me; and raiſes my Mind to an Imitation
of
of JOE THOMPSON.
213
of that Beneficence, wherewith he ſuperintends and
louks thro' whole Nature, ſcattering his Bleſſings,
in ſuch Profuſion, upon his unworthy Creatures.
A Heart that is not ſuſceptible of Humanity and
Pity, that does not feel the angelic Tranſports that
glow in the Boſom in relieving Poverty and Dif-
treſs, and Affliction and Grief, is unworthy the
Enjoyment of the common Favours of Providence,
and ſhould be aſhamed to partake even of the Sun's
reviving Infuence. I am ſoon tired with the Fol-
ly of my Toilet, any farther than it adminiſters to
Neatneſs and Decency; and the Books you know
I generally converſe with give added Force to this
Difpofition I find ſo natural to me; but above
all, that beſt of Books, which I rega d as a Rule
for my Salvation, in the ſtrongeſt Terms incul-
cates the Neceflity of doing Good, and in fo fub-
lime a Manner, that a Perſon muſt be dead to all
Sentiment and Beauty of Expreſſion, to diſregard its
Precepts. Nay, I will own to you, my Thomp-
fon, that my Obſervation of your Turn of Mind
to benevolent Principles firſt opened a Way to ad-
mit your Image into my Breaſt. Come, come,
,
continues the ſmiling, I'll conduct you to a Scene
that will be a Proof of what I have ſaid ; ſo ſaying,
the (truck acroſs a Meadow, which terminated the
Walk we were in, and roſe on one side into a
Hill of ſome Height, whilft I followed her with
filent Admiration; and methought the looked like
One
214
The Life and Adventures
one of thoſe miniſtring Angels, who, we are told,
are employed in Acts of Love and Kindneſs to the
fallen Race of Men. Oh Worth innate! Ob Goods
neſs moſt extreme! I was forced to exclaim, what
envied Fate is mine! thus to be conſidered by the
faireſt, beſt, and moſt excellent Pattern of her Sex,
adorned with inward Greatneſs, unaffected IViſdom,
and Sanctity of Manners!
At the farther Side of this verdant Eminence,
was a ſmall Hovel, which reſembled the ruſtic
Dwelling of Baucis and Philemon of old; and
no ſooner was our Approach diſcovered by the
Yelping of a ſmall Cur that was friſking in the
Sun-thine, and ran crouching to the Feet of Louiſa,
than a comely Woman looked out and ap-
proached with a modeſt Diffidence, mingled with
Joy in her Face, and ſaluted that Lady, in Terms
of the utmoſt Veneration and Reſpect; to which
the replied with an Affability and Good-nature,
that was calculated to diffipate the Confufion, that
our ſudden Appearance ſeemed to have inſpired;
and aſked, How her Huſband did To.day, and
then inquired after the reſt of her little Family by
Name ? My Lady, replies the honeſt Dame, ſince
we had the Honour to receive your comfortable
Preſent Yeſterday, which came at a very ſeaſonable
Time, my Huſband has recovered his Spirits, and
is upon the mending Hand. Oh, Madam! you
have rendered us truly happy: May every Bleſſing
1
Crown
of JOE THOMPSON. 215
crown your Wiſhes for your Goodneſs! By this Time
we approached the Door, when two or three little
Cherubims ran out, and in their pretty,prattling Way
welcomed my Adorable, in a Manner that convin-
ced me ſhe had been no Stranger to them ; ſhe took
each of them in her Arms, and beſtowed Kiſſes
and Careſſes upon them without Number ; inquir-
ed after the Progreſs they had made in learning
their Books, and rewarded them according to their
Proficiency. A Bluſh of uncommon Satisfaction
fhone in her Face, Beams of unclouded Joy flaſh-
ed from her brilliant Eyes, and the whole Family
were overcome with boundleſs Satisfaction. She
then inquired into ſeveral little Particulars that are
wanting in a Family, gave the good Woman
fome Money, calling her aſide for that Purpoſe,
and then, preſenting her Hand to me, we departed,
and her Departure ſpread a Gloom upon thoſe
Faces that were ſo moved with Joy before. I was
all Admiration, and had never been partaker of
more real Pleaſure. Heavens! what a Dignity,
what a Luſtre did her Goodneſs ſpread around her,
and what a fine Effect her Elevation of Mind had
upon her native Charms ! You muſt know, ſays the
deareſt Maid, that with a little Alliance and ſome
proper Advice I have ſaved this poor Family from
Deſtruction, and in that I am doubly repaid, by the
Pleaſure, the ſecret Satisfaction it has given me;
not an Acknowledgment I have received, not a
ſudden
8
216 The Life and Adventures
i
fudden Tranſport lighted up in thoſe innocent Ba-
bies Faces, but has given me more real Bliſs than
if I had received the greateſt Benefit the World
could beſtow. The Man was a Londoner, and
came down into theſe Parts as an Exciſeman; but
for ſome Slip or Miſtake in his Books was diſinilſed,
about three Months ago, from the Repreſentations
of an ill-natured Superviſor ; fince wbich, being
deprived of his ſmall Salary, he has worked as an
Huſbandman for my Papa, ſtriving with the
greateſt Affection to ſupport his Family of a Wife
and three Children : As I was walking out one
Afternoon with my Woman, I accidentally paſſed
by the Houſe, and heard a terrible Swearing and
Scolding within, which was diſcontinued upon the
ruftling Noiſe I made in paſſing, and the Woman,
you have ſeen, juſt looked out to ſee who it was,
with her Face ſwollen with Tears; the dropped
me a Courteſy, which I returned by the like, ac-
companied with a How d'ye, good Dame? and, think-
ing her under ſome Amiction, inquired if any Mil-
fortune had happened to her? The Woman, who
feemed to have a Soul ſuperior to her Appearance,
very ſenſibly anſwered, that the Detail of her Mil-
fortunes would be too tedious for my Ears, and me
feared too affecting to herſelf to go thro' with any to-
Jerable Decency; but, Madam, continues The, what
gives me at preſent the greateſt Uneaſineſs is, that
my poor Huſband, unuſed to want, has foured the beſt
of
1
i
of Joe THOMPSON. 217
of Tempers by dwelling too much on the Thoughts
of the Hardſhips he has met with, and grows croſs
and peeviih to his Family; whereas I could ſuffer
the greateſt Extremities, without complaining, in
his Society : Indeed our Ills are almoſt too great to
bear! here ſhe burſt into unaffected Tears, whilſt
two or three little Children, almoſt naked, joined
in the mournful Scene. I was ſtruck to the Heart,
and by my Endeavours have made their Circum-
ftances more eaſy, and cloathed them in that Man-
ner you ſee, and this very Morning have made
my Father promiſe me his firſt Farm that becomes
vacant, which I intend to ſtock for them, and
put it into their Power, by an Honeſt Application
and Induſtry, to retrieve their Affairs, and be of
Service to Society, who had elſe become a Burden
to it: The Huſband, eaſed of his Anxiety, is be-
come mild and Sober again, and the Reflection up-
on his late Impatience and Repinings againſt Pro-
vidence has thrown him into a Diſorder, which
by the Account of his Wife he is now like to get
over. I obſerved to my Charmer, that I had ge-
nerally found, that thoſe Perſons, who poſſeſſed the
beſt natural Diſpoſitions and Talents, were moſt al-
tered by Misfortunes; whereas a lifeleſs Clod goes
thro' the up Hill and down Hill Accidents of Life,
with a ſettled Uniformity of Behaviour, which, tho'
generally counted Wiſdom and Philoſophy, flows
VOL. I.
L
from
218
The Life and Adventures
from a natural Inſenſibility and Dulneſs of Conſti-
tution.
How happy would the beautious Part of the
Creation becomie, if, like my Louiſa, they would
beſtow a little leſs Attention upon the Impertinen-
cies of Dreſs, Viſits, and Cards, and ſtrive to adorn
their Minds with Wiſdom and Knowledge, and to
illuſtrate the Delicacy they are born with, by ſuch
a conſtant Habit of doing Good ? How bright an
Appearance has Beauty and Virtue united, what a
Light they caſt upon every Action of their Lives?
How inſipid, how unlovely are ſuch Purſuits in
Women, as they muſt and often do condemn in
our Sex? One would think Avarice, Pride, and
Anger, and Peeviſhneſs, Reſentment and Rage,
were Vices only of male Growth, and were not
able to fix their Reſidence in a Female Breaſt,
where Generoſity, Complacency, Mercy, Good-
nature, Forgiveneſs, and Serenity only ought to re-
fide: Oh! ye gentle Soothers of human Pains and
Inquietudes, copy this Pattern of reſplendent Ex-
cellency, by which you will fix your Empire ſtill
more abſolutely in our Souls, and Reaſon as well
as Paſſion will take a Pride to ſacrifice at your Al-
tars, and adore your real and never-fading Charms !
Then we ſhall truly fing with the Poet,
You've in you all that we believe of Heaven!
Amazing Brightneſs, Purity and Truth,
Eternal Joy and everlaſting Love !
AS
!
-
of JOE THOMPSON. 219
.
As we advanced in our Return to the Houſe, caft-
ing my Eyes at ſome Diſtance, I perceived the
Squire, her Couſin, talking very earneſtly with
two Fellows, who had no very promiſing Appear-
ance, which I made her take Notice of, and ſhe as
well as myſelf was ſtartled at their Looks, which
the thought bad fomewhat villainous in them;
when, cafting up their Eyes, they diſcovered our
Approach, they ſeemed ſurpriſed and ſhifted their
Ground, I followed them with my Eyes till I
had quite loft Sight of them.
Whether or no our
Knowledge of his Diſpoſition, or the Conjectures
we had formed of his foregoing Guilt, worked up
our Terror, I can't juſtly tell; but, in Mhort, we
had Reaſon to think he was meditating no Good.
I had Preſence of Mind enough to conceal my own
Fears, and to calm the Tumults of niy Louiſa's
Breaſt, who was perfectly put into a trembling Fit
by her Preſagement of ſome ſiniſter Deſign againſt
our Quiet. At Supper, where he was preſent, I
eyed him with more fixed Attention than uſual,
and thought I perceived a viſible Confufion and
Trouble in his Countenance, which he frove to
conceal, but was forced to leave the Room abrupt-
ly. That Night, Sir Walter being engaged at a
Friend's Houſe, I had an Opportunity of ſpending
intirely with my Angel; and, amongſt other Dir-
courſe, equally productive of ſuch Diſcoveries of
the Knowledge and Reading, as aſtoniſhed me, I
ventured
L a
220
The Life and Adventures
ventured to aſk her, whether ſhe was ſo rigidly
bigotted to the Doctrines of the Roman Catholic
Faith, as to admit of no Salvation out of the Pale
of that Church ? Let me treaſure up for ever the
remarkable Anſwer of this divine Creature ! I ex-
pected, my dear Thompſon, that ſome Time or o-
ther we ſhould fall upon this Diſcourſe, and am pre-
pared to reſolve you of my Opinions; that I am
not bigotted, you might have learnt from your
dear Mother, as I have conſtantly for ſeveral
Years paſt joined in the public Worſhip at our Pa-
riſh Church, where I have been greatly edified by
the excellent Diſcourſes of your Father. As to this
or that Mode of Worſhip, I think every one ought
to be allowed to follow the Dictates of Conſcience;
but I muſt own the Simplicity of the Church of
England, in her Rites and Doctrines, ſeems more
agreeable to Scripture, than any other I have con-
ſidered; and my Retirement in the Country, and
the Method of my Education, under a worthy Mo-
ther, of large and charitable Notions, gave me,
together with a proper Choice of Books, which ſhe
left behind her, and the Uſe of a much better Col-
lection of your Father's, which I had the Liberty
to fend for any Book from, an Opportunity of
turning my Thoughts to thoſe Things, more than
is common for one of my tender Sex. A Prieſt
of the Roman Church uſed to viſit our Family, but
was ſoon diſguſted at our converſing ſo much
wtih
of JOE THOMPSON.
221
with Heretics, as he called them ; but the Truth
was, becauſe we did not make him the Repoſitory
of our Secrets, and act implicitly by his Directions.
Two Things, amongſt thoſe of that Perſuaſion,
ſhock me more than any Thing elíe, not that I
believe all the Stories that are told in our Books of
Martyrology, which are the Spirit of Perſecution,
and their Maxim, That no Faith is to be kept with
Heretics.--In Contradiction to which, I'll ſtick
to what was ſaid by the great Mr. Pope, another
Roman Catholic, of a charitable allowing Spirit, in one
of his Letters, and, if I remember right, his Words
are theſe: “ Fire and Sword, and Fire and Faggot,
ore equally my Averſion ; I pray for different Seats
and different Parties, with the ſame Sincerity I pray
for myſelf; I ihink to be a Lover of my Country is a
glorious Elogy, but that it is a much greater to be a
Lover of Mankind." And I believe the Almighty
eſteems no particular Opinions in Compariſon to
the truly good Man, who may be ſaid to be a Chri-
ftian at large. As Things are managed at preſent
by the Advocates on every Side of the Queſtion,
Religion ſeems to have the leaſt Share in their Re-
ſearches, which is a Thing I imagine quite ſimple,
and her Duties comprized, according to our Savia
our himſelf, in a very few Words; but, alas ! tho'
the is, as Rowe ſays,
L 3
Divinely
222
The Life and Adventures
Divinely pure and ſimple from all Arts,
They daub and dreſs her, like a common Miſtreſsa
The Obječt of their Fancies?
I ſtood amazed at the Penetration of my excellent
Miſtreſs, and the Judgment ſhe ſhewed, and the
Facility the ſpoke with, upon Points of fo. puzzled
sind abſtruſe a Nature.
CH A P. XXIV.
Mr. Diaper receives Letters from his Father,
with a Letter incloſed from Prig. -Odd
Account of Speculift. —News arrives from
Archer and Sharpley.--Unhappy End of
Mr. Proſody.--His Diſcourſe with his
Mother, in Relation to Louiſa.---He re-
ceives a Letter of Caution by an unknown
Hand.
1
}
?
"TW
WAS with the utmoſt Difficulty I prevailed
on myſelf to leave my bliſsful Abode, and
to comply with the repeated Requeſts of my Friend,
to return to my Father's; which, however, at
length, I was obliged to do, taking the moſt ten-
der Adieu of the Charmer of my Soul! When
I came Home, every one rejoiced at the Vivacity,
and lively Spirit, I brought with me; all being
eafy
of JOE THOMPSON. 223
eaſy within, and, the great Buſineſs of Love ſettled
upon ſo unexpectedly happy a Footing, I indulged
all the Jollity and Mirth of my Soul. My Friend,
to whom I imparted all that had paſſed, congra-
tulated me in the fincerelt Manner; and now, ſays
he, I don't doubt, my Joey, but we ſhall be both
extremely happy, and may promiſe ourſelves a
Life of conſtant Felicity, which I hope will be
ſpent, for the future Part of it, in a Harmony
and Cordiality between us, equal to that we have
maintained hitherto in the Firſt; our Joys, our
Griefs, mutual and the fame: Ah! how blind
a little flattering Succeſs renders unhappy Mortals
to the Strokes of ill Fortune, that they are every
Minute liable to, and which burſt the airy Bubbles
of their deluſive, deceitful Expectations !
A Day or two after my Arrival, Mr. Diaper
received a Packet of Letters from London, by the
Superſcription of which we immediately knew it
to be from my Maſter, who had not wrote to either
of us before, tho' my Father and he had con-
ftantly correſponded; giving, as a Reaſon for it,
that he would not diſturb the young People in their
Diverſions, by giving them the Trouble to write ;
notwithſtanding which, we had frequently paid our
Duties both to him and my Miſtreſs. I was alarmed
at this, greatly fearing it was a Summons of us up
to Town; and nothing could at preſent have
grieved me more than Abſence from my Louiſa.
L 4
Upon
224
The Life and Adventures
Upon opening it, there was a Letter for Mr. Diaper,
and one for me, from his Father, and another di-
rected to us both, which I diſcovered in an In-
ftant to be from Mr. Prig. Both our Letters from
my dear and worthy Mafter were full of Affection
to me, as well as bis Son; but we were extremely
Thocked, when we underſtood that Mr. Traffic, a
Merchant at Briſiol, had failed, whereby, at the
loweſt Computation, he was become Lofer above
Ewelve Thouſand Pounds. In relating this Cir-
cumſtance he had ſaid a}l that a Man of Senſe, and
a Chriſtian, who was acquainted with the unfore-
feen Accidents of Life, could ſay to moderate bis
Son's Amiction; but it was a Blow he could hardly
bear with Fortitudc, as it in ſome Degree diſcon-
certed the Schemes of Happineſs he had formed for
himſelf with the lovely Miſs Bellair; in ſhort, tho'
it was but a Trifle, when weighed againſt my
Maſter's other Poffeffions, 'twas a Lofs that could
not but be very heavily felt, and would, of Con-
ſequence, oblige us to retrench our extenſive Deal-
ings within a narrower Compaſs. I was not with-
out my Share of Concern for myſelf alſo, that is
ſo natural, as I knew it would render it more dif.
ficult for my Friend to bring me into a Share of
the Buſineſs, which, on Account of my Preten-
ſions to Louiſa, I was become more and more de.
firous of: However, as there was no Remedy,
we gave Ear to the conſoling Arguments of my
Father,
of Joe THOMPSON. 225
Father, who repreſented Things to us in a moſt
philofophical and reaſonable Light, and convinced
us of the Error and Folly of laying ſuch unavoid-
able Misfortunes to Heart. My Maſter concluded,
that he found our Preſence very neceſſary, as he,
or one of us, muſt go down to Briſtol; and gave
us an Order to prepare for our Return to London
in three Weeks, or a Month at fartheft. The
Letter from Prig was as follows:
TH
DEAR FRIENDS,
HO' I reflect with Pleaſure upon the Enjoy-
ments you participate of in Yorkſhire, and
am ideally a Sharer in every Satisfaction you feel;
yet I am more pleaſed, in underſtanding that your
Principal has ſent you an Habeas Corpus, to remove
your Bodies up to London, which has been to me a
dull and lifeleſs Place, ever ſince your Abſence.
Mr. Diaper (to whoſe Recommendations I muſt
own myſelf very much obliged for a great Increaſe
of Practice) has made fo thorough a Convert of me,
that my former Companions yield me no Delight;
and the Ways I formerly purſued are grown dull
and infipid; and let me aſſure you, I have not
kicked a Watchman, bilked a Bawdy-houſe, or
ſnored at Tom King's, for above theſe two Months
paſt. What the Devil can you find ſo. agreeable
amongſt the Tikes of Yorkſhire, to detain you ſo
long from your Friends ; Are purling Streams, ro-
feate
L5
226 The Life and Adventures
feate Bowers, fallow Lawns, and painted Meads,
ſtronger Charms than we can procure to entertain
you ? For Shame fake hafte away, and join us ;
for Pity-ſake do; and let me fing, as a Friend of
inine once did, with a little Alteration :
Yorkſhire, tho' full of wanton Glee,
Our op'ning Pleaſares vye with thee;
Thy barren Wilds the Stupid pleaſe,
But Mufick warbles thro' our 'Trees :
See Ranelagh, and fee Vauxhall,
The joyous Glaſs, the ſprightly Ball ;
Come join and quaff the ſparkling Bowl,
Which raiſes, mends, and fires the Soul.
Your affectionate Friend,
RICHARD PRIG.
P.S. The moſt extraordinary Piece of News
I can ſend you, is, that that Man of moral Rec-
titude, Philofopher Speculift, has been caſt in
2000l. Damages, for criminal Converſation with
the Wife of a Bofom Friend; and, on Non-pay-
ment, has been obliged to go to the Fleet-Priſon.
We could not help ſmiling at our Friend Prig's
conciſe and Laconic Epiſtle, and his Daſh of
Poetry, which exactly ſpoke the Temper of the
Man; and that, together with the Arrival of our
Friends Archer and Sharpley, contributed to expel
the Gloom that had overſpread our Minds. They
had each of them received a Letter from his Son,
3
which
of Joe THOMPSON. 227
which they communicated to us. Toin Archer
went on with great Succeſs in his mercantile Em-
ployment; and poor Jack Sharpley had met with a
great many Misfortunes upon his Station; but by
the Death of the Captain, and all the three Lieu.
tenants, had received the Commiſſion of Third
Lieutenant, which fell to him by Rotation, and
had been confirmed ſuch by the Lords of the Ad-
miralty; they were both in good Health, which
could not fail to communicate a great deal of Plea-
ſure to me, and naturally led me, which I had never
thought of before, to enquire after our old Maſter
Mr. Profody, who I found had been dead near
two Years, and that his Wife died a Year
before him : His Death was occafioned by a flog-
ging Bout, which he too unmercifully beſtowed
upon the Poſteriors of a Gentleman's Son, who, in
Revenge, had harraſſed him for his Nonjuring
Principles, to ſuch a Degree, that, upon refuſing
the Oaths, he was prohibited by the Archbiſhop
from teaching a public School, and died of a broken
Heart, leaving above 1500l. to his Daughter,
Mrs. Harrow, who ſtill was living, and well, with
her Hufband. My two old Companions had men-
tioned me with ſo much Affection in their Letters,
that I thought myſelf obliged to ſit down to write
to them ; which I did accordingly, and committed
my Epiſtles to the Care of their Fathers, to be ſent
with theirs.
::
L 6
My
228 The Life and Adventures
My dear Mother, one Morning; taking me into
her Cloſet, began, in a rallying Way, to inquire
after Miſs Louiſa, and into the Particulars of our
Correfpondence. I was too much convinced of
her Prudence and Affection, and her Regard to
that amiable Lady, to make a Secret to her of the
Progreſs I had made in my Love, and the happy
Situation my Heart was in; mingling my Account
with ſuch Encomiums upon the Object of my Ado .
ration, and fuch involuntary Raptures, and Ele-
vation of Expreſſion, that he could not help per-
ceiving how nearly I was affected with what I
ſaid. The Thoughts, tho' diftant, of this Alliance,
gave her exquiſite Pleaſure; and tho' the gave me
jnany Cautions, to moderate my extravagant and
over-bearing Tumults of Soul, yet the concluded
in affuring me, that the dear Creature had ſuch
juſt Notions, and so ſincere a Regard to what-
ever ſhe ſaid, that no human Means were ever
likely to diſturb our Union, and, no doubt, Pro-
vidence had determined we ſhould be happy in
each other. She knew too well the Delicacy of
my Father's Temper, to need any Injunctions to
keep the Matter a Secret from him; and promiſed
me, that in my Abſence at London ſhe would en-
deavour more and more to cultivate the good
Opinion and Eſteem that Louiſa had conceived of
me: I embraced the excellent Woman with un-
feigned Tranſport, and methought this Confidence,
I had
of Joe THOMPSON.
22
I had repoſed in her, made her more my Mother
than ſhe was before.
When we came down Stairs, a Letter was
given me, which had been left by a Countryman;
the Direction was almoſt unintelligible, but, opene
ing it, I found it to this Effect:
SUR,
I youer
Selfe, for Squier Riche has reſolved to ha youer
Harts Bloud, and I am one of thouſe hir'd to diſa-
patch you; and you may be ſure, if you can bee
catch’d, you will note iſcap, as you did the Tim
afor. I honor youer Faather, which is the Refon
of theſe Notis
From your IVéllwiſher,
A. B.
Beſure alwayes to go well armud.
This Advice ſtartled me, as it convinced me
that this baſe and cowardly Wretch had reſolved
to get rid of me, one Way or other; and I com-
municated it to Mr. Diaper, who determined I
Mould never go to Sir Walter's,, without him in my
Company, and both well armed; upon Confide
ration, we reſolved not to diſcover the Matrer to
that Gentleman, till we could, by fome Accident
or other, get one of his Emiſſaries into our Hands;
to confront bim, as he was ſo much beloved by
him:
230
The Life and Adventures
him: We deplored the Unhappineſs he was under
to be ſo blinded to his wicked Diſpoſition, as to
entertain a Thought of ſacrificing his excellent
Daughter to ſo perfectly brutal a Villain. I fould
have fought him out in the firſt Motions of my
Rage, and, upon his declining a fair Combat, have
pinned him to the Earth, had not my Friend re-
preſented the Imprudence of ſuch a Reſolution,
which obliged me to defift.
CH A P. XXV.
Sir Walter ſurpriſes the two Lovers.- His
Behaviour thereon.--Is forbid the Houſe.
-They correſpond by Letter.-Their Cor-
reſpondence diſcovered. - Her Woman dif.
cbarged. She is privately conveyed away.
I
Communicated the foregoing Letter the next
Day to my Louiſa; and, at the ſame Time,
informed her, that I inuſt be torn from all the
Pleaſure I enjoyed in her loved Society, for ſome
Time; giving her an Account of the Reaſons for
our unexpected Departure from Yorkſhire : She con-
doled with my Friend in his Loſs; but ſaid ſo many
inſpiring Things to comfort him, that Grief ſoon
fled, being driven away by the Influence of her per-
ſuaſive Eloquence and enlivening Smiles. When
he
of Joe THOMPSON.
230
he had fat with us ſome Time, he retired to ſeek
Mr. Sharpley, who had alſo accompanied us, pro-
miſing to call for me in the Evening. My Louiſa
was greatly pleaſed with the Precautions I took to
bring my Friend with me, and inſiſted I ſhould
never come there, or go any where elſe, without
him: Mean and low deſigning Men, ſays ſhe,
are more artful than a Man of a generous Spirit
will permit himſelf to become, even for his own
Safety; and no Wretch fo low, but may, one
Time or other, find an Opportunity to wreck his
Malice and Ill-will on the Perſon he hates. Her
Apprehenfions caſt her into fo profound a Melan-
choly, that I was alarmed, and blamed myſelf for
giving her ſo much Pain, by letting her into the
Secret of the Letter; it even operated ro.far, as
to draw a Shower of Tears from her fair Eyes:
I claſped her tenderly in my Arms, and the re-
clined her lovely Face upon my Shoulder, whilſt
I endeavoured, with my utmoſt Art, to ſooth her
forboding Fears. Juſt as we were in this poſture,
unluckily Sir IValter opened the Door of the Room,
with ſuch Suddenneſs, that we could not adjuſt
ourſelves, before he had taken a full View of our
Attitude; and, after a filent Look of Indignation,
returned the way he came.
I muſt own I was
never ſo diſcompoſed in my Liſe, and my charming
Miſtreſs trembled from Head to Foot: We knew
his obſtinate, over-bearing, reſolute Temper too
well,
232
The Life and Adventures
well, to doubt the Conſequences of this Diſcovery ;
and our Apprehenfions were not permitted to have
a long Scope, for, in leſs than twenty Minutes, a
Footman brought me this ſhort Note:
SIR,
AF
FTER what I have juſt beheld, you will
not think it ſtrange that I deſire you forth-
with to depart my Houſe, and never to enter my
Doors again.
WALTER RICH.
go
I
In the Condition I was, I hardly knew what I
did; but, to gain a few Minutes Time for Reflec-
tion, I wrote the following Anſwer:
DEAR SIR,
Beg the Favour to be introduced to you, and
that you would indulge me with two or three
Words in my Defence; you may think me to
blame, when, really, I'am far from any Deſign to
difturb your Peace, but would rather lofe my Life,
than cauſe ſo kind and good a Friend a Moment's
Uneafineſs. I am, Sir,
Your moſt affectionate humble Servant,
Jos. THOMPSON.
The Footman told me, with great Concern,
that his Maſter and the 'Squire were together, and
that he never ſaw him in ſo great a Paffion before.
Loid
of JOE THOMPSON. 233
Lord, Sir, ſays the Fellow, very innocently, I
hope you are not going to fight; we all love you,
and hope no Miſchief will happen between you
and Maſter. Whilſt be was gone, Louiſa told me
ſhe believed it would be in vain to ſtrive to bring
him to Reaſon at preſent, and adviſed me to go;
the rather, as the hoped my Abſence, and what
The had to ſay to him, would calm bis Rage; but,
let what will happen, Fidele (that was the Name
of her Maid) ſhall bring you a Line To-morrow,
if ſhe can without Suſpicion: Depend upon it,
added the lovely Creature, I will never forfeit my
Vow. I was going to return her my Acknow-
ledgments, in the tendereſt Manner, when the
Footman returned, with another written Meffage,
to this Effect :
« I would have you quit theſe Territories this
" Minute, for I can't anſwer for it elſe,
" that I may not act ſomewhat towards
you that would violate the common
Rights of Hoſpitality; Hofpitality did I
“ ſay, nothing of that Kind is due to a
e Deceiver, an Hypocrite, and a Villain.
W. R."
Finding it in vain to perfiſt, I took a tender
Adieu of my heavenly Louiſa ; and we both ming-
lcd our Tears together, apprehenſive of what
we had to go thro', which filled my Soul with.
a gloomy Train of horrid Ideas,
I deſired
*
234
The Life and Adventures
I deſired the fame Footman to deliver him this
Anſwer, however, which was all the Diſtraction I
was under would ſuffer me to write :
Y
SIR,
OU are certainly ſeduced to your own Un-
happineſs, by the falſe and malicious Inſinua-
tions of that baſe Wretch your Nephew, who has,
for what Reaſon I cannot tell, even attacked my
Life by Ruffians, and is meditating another Ex-
ploit of the ſame Kind. Believe me, Sir, your
excellent Daughter has done nothing contrary to
the Rules of Prudence and Virtue, Diſcretion and
Duty; and you will find you have greatly wronged
Your affectionate humble Servant,
Jos. THOMPSON.
P.S. I hope, Sir, if only for the Sake of your
own Peace of Mind, when your Paſſion is a little
abated, you will hear what I have to ſay. What
I have hinted about your Kinſman I am ready at
any Time to prove.
Ob! what Pangs I ſuffered at this cruel Pe-
riod, the Source to me of ſo many ſucceeding
Misfortunes; a thouſand Times I was near lay-
ing violent Hands upon myſelf for my Indir-
cretion, and then again I excuſed myſelf by the
Conſideration, that I thought Sir IValter Abroad
as well as his Daughter, he having left Word, he
Thould
of JOE THOMPSON.
235
ſhould not return till Evening, which was the
Reaſon we were caught in ſo unguarded a Man-
ner : Thence I could not help reflecting, that his
ſaying he ſhould be out ſo long was cnly a Feint,
in order to ſurpriſe us, the Source of which I im-
mediately concluded to be the 'Squire. I was in an
hundred Minds to return and take ſpeedy Ven-
geance on him, or die in the Attempt; but then the
Thoughts of my Louila's Diſpleaſure checked the
rah Deſign, and the Danger of farther irritating
her Father againſt her. Wretch, that I was, I
could not help exclaiming, to imagine Heaven
would be propitious to me, ſtained with the Guilt
of a thouſand Crimes and Enormities ! Could I
think that it had deſtined me fo much Perfection,
without throwing innumerable Difficulties and Diſa
couragements in my Way, as a juft Punithment
for my Preſumption? No, I fee plainly this is only
a Taſte of the Miſeries it has in Reſerve for me.
When I got Home, I entered privately, and
threw myſelf all bathed in Tears upon my Bed,
where I gave full Play to the Melancholy and Diſ.
traction of my Breaſt, till my very Brain became
diſordered ; and God knows how far my Deſpera-
tion would have carried me, but for my Friend,
who accidentally came thro' my Apartment, which
was the Way to his own. If he was ſurpriſed to
ſee me at Home lo ſoon, he was much more amaze
ed to ſee the Condition I was in, and with great
Precipitation
236 The Life and Adventures
Precipitation demanded the Reafon of the Extra-
vagancies he heard and ſaw me guilty of; which
when I had acquainted him with, he ſympathiſed
with me, on this unlucky Misfortune, in a truly
fenfible Manner ; but put me in Mind of the Folly
of reſigning myſelf to fruitleſs and unavailing Coin-
plaints and Tears; that I ought to wait with Pati-
ence till I heard from . Louiſa ; and that poſſibly
from her Intelligence Ways might be thought of
to bring Sir Walter into a better Temper, and, by
expoſing the Villainy of his Nephew, open his
Eyes to all the Abfurdities he was guilty of, in ſo
íteadily perſiſting to bring about what would ren-
der his amiable Daughter fo infinitely and woefully
wretched. I became ſomewhat calmer at theſe en.
couraging Words, and compoſed myſelf, as well
as I could, in Expectation of hearing from the Idol
of my Soul, counting every Moment an Age till
I was convinced of her Welfare and Safety. At
length Fidele arrived, and brought me a Letter from
my Angel, which I kiſſed with Tranſport; and
hugged the poor Girl in a joyful Manner, over and
over again, and thought I had great Reaſon to be
comforted, when I found the Contents as follow:
2
>
SIR,
FTER you left the Houſe, my Father cal-
led me into his Chamber, and, with leſs Para
fon than I expected, taxed me with indulging an
Affection.
1
of JOE THOMPSON. 237
more.
Afection for you, which croſſed all his Meaſures ;
inveighed againſt you in the bittereſt Manner, and
commanded me never to think of or ſpeak to you
In the beſt Terms I could (tho' I was
greatly concerned and frightened) I endeavoured
to moderate bis Suſpicions; but my Sincerity, and
the Regard I pay to Truth, would not ſuffer me
to deny the Impreſſions I had received in your Fa-
vour, tho' at the ſame Time I aſſured him I would
never think of you in a way he ſhould diſapprove,
or enter into any farther Engagements with you
than were perfecuy innocent. This raiſed his Fury
to a Pitch that made me tremble; and he told
me, that he intended I ſhould have a Regard only
to his Nomination, and commanded me to look
upon my Couſin, as a Man he was reſolved to
make my Huſband very ſhortly. I fell on my
Knees, and vowed I could not entertain the moſt
diſtant Idea of the Wretch te mentioned with
Patience, and found my Poſture and the Tears I
fhed had ſomewhat moved him; and, taking Ad-
vantage of the lucky Moment, drew from him a
Promiſe never to force my Ha:d where I could not
beſtow my Heart, I proteſting I would not marry
another than he ſhould approve. He, however,
firmly perſiſted in his Reſolves, that I ſhould ne-
ver correſpond or ſpeak to you, to which, alas!
I gave a filent Approbation, on Pain of being de-
nied the little Liberties I enjoy. Ab, Mr. Thomp-
Jon,
238 The Life and Adventures
fon, what a Situation am I in, divided thus, be
tween Love and Duty? Yet let me once more afs
ſure you, that you, and only you, can, or ſhall,
employ the Thoughts of
Your LOUISA.
Oh! how I, raptured, kiſſed the dear Name, that
ſubſcribed theſe tender, ſenſible, and moving Lines,
and wrote with great Halte this Anſwer, which
Fidele immediately returned with to her Lady :
W ,
Deareſt and moſt amiable CREATURE,
HAT Miſeries I have ſuffered to this bliſs-
ful Moment, in which you fo generouſly
repeat your Vows of Conſtancy and Affection,
Words are too faint to deſcribe! Ah, charming
Louiſa, can there be greater Torment to a Man
that loves as I do, than to be denied the Happineſs
of ſeeing and converfing with the adorable Object
of his Paffion? The Torments, that the Damned
are ſaid to undergo, is a feeling Conſciouſneſs of
the Joys and ineffable Delights of the Bleſſed, and
a Privation of the Participation of thoſe Joys for
ever, which ſo ſtrongly is working in their Ideas.
Where, alas! now are the improving Pleaſures
that flowed over my Soul, when I heard my
Lou-
iſa's heavenly Accents, her melodious, melting
Strains ? Oh, I am tortured, even to Madneſs, at
the painful Reflection of being deprived of thy
Sight, without Hope of returning to it again! But
ſure,
of JOE THOMPSON.
239
fure, Heaven, who muſt be propitious to ſo pure
an Image of its own Perfections, will at length
accord to thy Wiſhes, and make thee happy as
thy Virtues and Goodneſs deferve. My lovely
Fair, preſerve the Remembrance of me in your
Mind, till I can ſome Way or other find a Way to
footh your cruel Father's relentleſs Rage; and let
me, at leaſt in this endearing Manner, frequently
converſe with my all of Happineſs I e'er defire. The
Diſtraction of
my Mind is too great to write more
diſtinctly; but believe I am ever thy moſt tender,
faithful, and eternally conftant Adorer, whilft I
can ſubſcribe the Name of
JOSEPH THOMPSON,
I peſtered Fidele with an hundred Queſtions, whilſt
I was writing, breaking off and writing again, every
Minute, with ſuch ſudden Starts of Joy and Move-
ments of Sorrow, that the faithful Creature was
affected, even to Tears, and begged me, for her
Lady's Sake, to be more compoſed and calm,
which I promiſed her I would. I was now ever,
in Private, pouring out my Complaints, and ſet-
ting forth my Paſſion to the Object of my Wifhts.
Fidele had ſcarce Time to do any Thing elſe than
to carry our Meſſages and Letters to each other,
which ſhe did with ſo much Willingneſs and Af-
fection, that the Preſents I forced upon her, and
which ſhe ever modeſtly would have declined ac-
cepting,
2.40
The Life and Adventures
cepting, were but a poor Reward for her Labours;
tho' her Lady alſo, whom ſhe had been brought up
with, was profuſely generous and grateful to her.
Our Intercourſe was carried on thus for fome Days
without Interruption, and I received freſh Proofs of
the Confideration this delightful Woman had for
me; her Letters were filled with ſuch exalted Sen-
timents, ſuch refined Notions of Things, that
my Admiration was almoſt equal to my Love, and
I died with languiſhing Deſires to ſee her: This
diſtant Way of converſing only ſerved to heighten
theſe Longings; but I ſoon was robbed of even
this remaining Conſolation, this only Refuge from
Deſpair ; and one fatal Moment involved me in a
Series of Miferies that were dreadfully fevere.
The 'Squire, whoſe Suſpicions made him ever
watchful, and who was quite incenſed at the total
Loſs of the Favour of Louiſa, who would never
fit a Moment with him but when her Father was
in Company, and gave him every Day freſh Marks
of her Deteſtation and Abhorrence, could not fail
to obſerve the frequent Journies Fidele made from
Home, and, imparting his Surmiſes to Sir Walter
that ſhe brought and carried Letters to and from
his Daughter and me, they agreed to watch her
Motions more narrowly; and one Evening, in her
Return, they forcibly inſpected her Pockets, and
found a Letter from me, full of the Expreſſions of
my Love and Gratitude to my Charmer for her
Kindneſs
of JOE THOMÝ SO N. 241
Kindneſs and Senſibility of my Sufferings; which
having read, Sir Walter loaded his Daughter with
Reproaches and cruel Upbraidings, and even went
ſo far in his Fury, as to vow Revenge upon her
Minion, as he called me, where-ever he found me;
and immediately, notwithſtanding all her Tears
and Supplications, turned Fidele out of his H uſe,
who came to me in the utmoſt Agony and Dir-
traction, at being thus forced to leave her dear
Mitreſs. It was now that my Rage exceeded all
Bounds; I raved and tore in fo violent a Manner,
that my Friend could not abate by all his kind Lel-
fons of Advice and Caution. I determined to ſeek
this Villain, this Bane to my future Expectations,
and facrifice him to the Injuries of my Louiſa; and
accordingly was going to put my Deſign in Execu-
tion, having got over two or three Fields on my
Way to Sir TV alter's, armed with a Pair of Piſtols,
one of which I reſolved he ſhould make Choice of,
or I'd put him to Death without Mercy, when I
was accoſted by a Footman, whom I knew to be Sir
Walter's, and who in a trembling Manner gave
me this Billet:
I
DEAR SIR,
Have juſt Time to ſend you Word by this com-
paſſionate Domeſtic, that I am now going to
be conveyed to my Aunts in Somerſetſhire, the
Coach waiting at the Gate for that Purpoſe.
VOL. I.
M
Heavens,
242
The Life and Adventures
Heavens, what Outrages have I endured ! But, be
ſure you behave with Prudence, and don't fuffer
yourſelf to be tranſported to any Raſhneſs, for,
depend upon it, nothing ſhall ever force me to be
other than your
LOUISA.
I fear my Tears have rendered this Scroll unintel-
ligible; - take Care of my poor Fidele, and hope
happier Moments.
CH A P. XXVI.
He purſues after her.-Meets 'Squire Rich.-
Dares him to Combat, which he Coward-like
refuſes.--Prepares to puniſh him, but he e-
Scapes. - Is overtaken:--He fires at him, and
brings him down.--Is knocked off his Horſe
by one of the 'Squire's Attendants himſelf.-
Found by certain Paſſengers in e bloody Con-
dition, who convey him to their Houſe in
their Chariot.-Is known by a Lady, whom
be in vain endeavours to recolle&t.
of my
Y Rage, notwithſtanding theſe Injunctions
Louiſa, was too great for Expreſſion,
and choaked up my Voice, and my Breaft ſwelled
with boiling Choler : I juſt had Patience to in-
quire if the Coach was gone, which he reſolved
me
of joe THOMPSON. 243
me in the Affirmative, and to aſk which Road it
had taken ; which I no ſooner underſtood, than
without a fingle Word more I returned Home,
and not entering the Houſe to ſpeak to my Friend,
or poor Fidele, I ſaddled my Horſe, and, mounting,
galloped the Way I had been directed, breathing
nothing but Revenge and Bloodlhed, whilft Tears
of Grief and bitter Anguish ran plentifully down
my Cheeks. I rode with all the Speed my Horſe's
Legs would permit for two or three Hours, when
I heard the Tread of Horſes, and, to my inex.preſli-
ble Delight, ſoon deſcried the 'Squire and two At-
tendants, who were returning back with great Ex-
pedition for ſomewhat they had forgot to take in
the Hurry. I drew a Piſtol from my Holſters,
and croſſing the Road, which was not very broad,
ſtood prepared to retard his farther Progreſs; and
he no ſooner ſaw me, than he ſtopped ſhort, and
turned pale at the tremendous Spectacle, whilft I
cried out, “ Villain, diſmount, and prepare to
“ give me Satisfaction for the Injuries you have
“ heaped upon me, and the worthieſt and beſt of
- Creatures, and declare where you have carried
66 the Charmer of my Soul, or this Minute is the
" laft I will ſuffer you to breathe that Air you have
“ poiſoned by your notorious Crimes." Before
he could well recover himſelf to anſwer, one of
the Servants, equally fearful of what might happen
to himſelf, faid, that the 'Squire was not concerned
M 2
in
244
The Life and Adventures
in the taking away his young Lady, who was a
great many Miles onwards, under the Care of Sir
I Valter, and that he hoped I would not do any
Miſchief. Wiihout attending to what the Servant
ſaid, I reiterated my Reſolution to his Maſter,
who, clapping Spurs to his Horſe, with a rapid
Pace ruſhed by me, followed by one of the At-
tendants; which I could not prevent, but imme-
diately followed him, and my Horſe, having the
greateſt Share of Heels, foon overtook the flying
Enemy, who roared out, for God's Sake to ſpare
him, and he'd be my Friend for ever ; but, before
the Words could well reach my. Ears, I fired at
him, and he fell from his Horſe; upon which, en-
deavouring to diſmount, I received from behind a
Blow on the Side of the Temples with the Butt-end
of an Horſe-Whip, which laid me ſenſeleſs amongſt
the Horſe's Feet ; but was ſoon brought to my-
felf, by a Number of Kicks and Blows given with
an Intention to deprive me of Life by the recover-
ed 'Squire, wbofe Fright only had occafioned his
Fall, and who frequently commanded his Men
to ride after my Horſe and get the other Pir-
tol, for he was reſolved to butcher the Dog, be-
fore he left him. All this I heard diſtinctly, till
a Stroke, like the firſt, again put me into the
fame State as before. How long I might lie mo.
rionleſs and dead to all Senſe of my Misfortunes,
I cannot poſlibly determine; but, when I reco-
vered
of Joe THOMPSON.
245
1
-
vered my ſbattered Ideas, the Torture of my Mind,
the oppreſſive Grief of my Soul, was too big for
Utterance, and only broke Way in Groans, and
Sighs, and Tears: I ſtrove to get upon my Legs,
but, alas! found myſelf too weak, with Loſs of
Blood, and too much bruiſed, to attempt it with-
out Aliſtance. Thus then I lay in Expectation
fome compaſſionate Paſſenger might peradventure
paſs that Way, and in Charity convey me to fome
Houſe where I might get Aſliſtance to return
Home. Oh! how violent was my Diſtraction,
and what Havock it made on my weakened and
labouring Faculties? How mournfully the Image of
my Louiſa floated before my View, in vain im-
ploring my Succour and Aliiſtance? Then, again,
the Wretch, who had juſt left me in this horrid
Condition, called up all the Fierceneſs and Rage
inſpired by his numerous Injuries and Wickedner-
ſes: Yes, I cried with a faultering Voice, no
Place, tho' ever ſo ſacred, ſhall ſcreen thee from my
Refentments; even from the Arms of thy Uncle
will I drag thee, and inflict upon thee the Death
thou ſo well deſerveſt, for thy Outrages againſt the
beſt and moſt lovely of her Sex! Theſe Thoughts
gave me Eaſe, methought, and allayed iny Tor-
ments, when a Chariot, with fome Domeftics on
Horſeback, appeared in View; and I was no ſooner
deſcried, than a Gentleman in it, of a Mien that
commanded Reſpect, alighted, and, approaching
M
mc,
246 The Life and Adventures
me, aſked me, with great Concern, how I had
come by ſuch barbarous Uſage, the Marks of which
were ſo vifible? I eſſayed to ſpeak once or twice,
but my Voice failed me; and the Gentleman, or-
dered his Servants with great Care to put me into
the Chariot, gave them Directions to drive gently
to his Houſe, which was two or three Miles farther,
and where we arrived in about an Hour and an half,
and found he had got Home before to prepare Mat-
ters for my Reception. I was taken out of the Cha-
riot, and carried up to Bed; but, as I was ſupport-
ing thro' the Hall, I heard a female Voice, the
Sound of which ſeemed very familiar to my Ears,
exclaim, Oh, Heavens! what do I fee, it is Mr.
Thompſon. I turned my Head about, but the Lady
had fuddeniy retired, leaving me in a Maze of Con-
jectures, who this could be who had expreſſed ſuch
a Concern, and was ſo well acquainted with my
Name and Perfon.
CHAP
of Joe THOMPSON.
247
M
Eyes
CHAP. XXVII.
The great Care that is taken of him by the
ſtrange Gentleman.-He has a remarkable
Dream which operates towards his Reco-
very.--Underſtands who his generous Bene-
factor is, who amazes him, by acknowledg-
ing a Favour done to his Lady.
Y Eyes could only intimate to my gene-
rous Preſerver, what a grateful Senſe I en-
tertained of the Affiduity and Care he thewed for
my Safety and Recovery; for, tho'my Senſes were
entirely perfect, my Loſs of Blood had been fo
great, as to deny my Tongue the Exerciſe of its
Office. A Surgeon being fent for, he examined
my
Wounds and Bruiſes, and found them conſider-
able enough to put my Life to ſome Hazard :
What he moſt apprehended was, that a Fever
would enſue; and therefore, after he had dreſſed
me, he gave ſtrict Charge that I ſhould be kept as
calm and compoſed as poſſible, and that nobody
ſhould ſpeak to me, or engage me to talk, on any
Account. His Orders were obeyed; but the Tor-
ments of my harraſſed and diſtracted Mind had
well nigh baffled all his Skill: The Idea of my
Louiſa’s Loſs, and the Force that might be uſed
to make her unhappy, with my total Ignorance
of the Place ſhe was carried to, on one Hand, and
M 4
my
248 The Life and Adventures
my Rage and Reſentment againſt the Wretch who
had uſed me fo barbarouſly, on the other, allowed
me not a Moment's Interval of Reft. Ten
thouſand crude and indigeſted Schemes I formed
in my diſtorted Imagination, to reſcue my Miſtreſs,
and to puniſh my Enemy: Then, again, the Ab-
ſence of my Friend, and the Situation my ſudden
and rafh Diſappearing would put my Father and
Mother into, gave me inconceivable Pain. Wearied
at length with a confiant Succeſſion of theſe
Thoughts, I fell into a Slumber, in which, me-
thought, I beheld my lovely Maid advancing to
meet me in a Meadow, diverſified on every Side
with the ihining Gifts that Flora beſtows on the
moſt delightſul Seaſon of the Year: As we ap-
proached each other, we diſcovered, to our mu-
tual Surpriſe, a deep and rapid Stream, which
our firſt Tranſports had hindered us from perceive
ing. Methought we wept at this unexpected Dif-
ficulty, and I was going to plunge myſelf into the
Waves, the more ſpeedily to embrace the Charmer
of my Soul, when, with her uſual, placid Smile,
ſhe repreſſed my Eagerneſs, by the following
Words : Oh! my Thompſon! think, with your
wonted good Senſe and Patience, before you attempt
fo fatal an Action; if you ſhould meet with Death
here, in my Sight, think what inſtant Miſery I
ſhould be reduced to: Racher let us explore the
Head of this River, or ſearch on each side, if, per
Chance,
of joe THOMPSON.
249
Chance, we may meet with ſome Bridge or Boat,
that will give us a Paſſage to each other's Embraces.
I obeyed the ſweet Phantom, and, looking up,
perceived, at a lictle Diſtance, a ſmall Barque,
which was moored to a Tree, on my Side of the
Stream, which I made to with the utmoſt Joy;
and, entering, immediately turned it adrift, and
prepared to croſs to the other Shore ; which I had
no ſooner reached, within the Boat's Length, than
I gave a ſudden Spring, in order to get to Land
the fooner; but miſſed my Footing, and fell into
the Water, whence, when I had got out, all wet
and tired with the Fatigue I had undergone, I
had loſt the Sight of my Louiſa, which I began to
bewail with all the paſſionate Geſtures and Lan-
guage that ſuch a Diſappointment could inſpire;
when I heard her Voice calling me, by Name, from
the Bank of the River I had juſt left to meet her:
Ah! iny much loved Youth! how unhappy your
violent Temper makes us! Providence, ever pro-
pitious to thoſe who put their Truſt in it, and,
with Reaſon and Calmneſs, endeavour to attain
its Bleſſings, never favours the rath and paſſionate
Murmurs and Attempts of the Unthinking and
Fool-hardy! How often have you promiſed me to
accord to my Deſires, and, repofing Confidence in
the Truth I have vowed you, wait with Patience
and Refignation the Diſpenſations of Heaven in
our Favour; farewel ;-It is denied me to ſatisfy
M 5
Our
250
The Life and Adventures
our ardent Wiſhes, till you behave with more
Temperance and Moderation than you have hi-
therto; yet, at length, I muſt believe we ſhall be
happy. Here the endearing Form diſappeared
from
my View, and I waked in an Agony of Grief
and Sorrow: However, this Dream had a ſudden
Effect upon my Mind, that aided my Phyſician's
Skill; I looked upon it as a Warning from Above,
to be leſs violent in my Deſires; and recollecting
how well it tallied with what my Louiſa had always
inculcated, and particularly in her laſt melancholy
Letter, I grew more compoſed ; and, in two or
three Days, was ſo altered, as to be able to talk
and fit up in my Bed. I was prodigiouſly curious
to know what kind Hands I had fallen into, and
particularly who the Lady might be, who had ex-
preſſed herſelf with ſo much ſeeming Emotion at
the Sight of me. I had ſeen no Female fince I
had been there, but an elderly Matron, who was
my
Nurſe; and the Gentleman, who ſeemed more
than ordinarily tender of me, was very cautious
how he ſpoke to me, for Fear of giving me any
Diſturbance. I now ventured to aſk the good Wo-
man, my Attendant, the Name of my Benefactor ;
which the fatisfied me in, by letting me know
it was 'Squire Goodwill, and that his Seat, where
I then was, was called Mount Chriſtian; by which
I underſtood, for I had before heard of the Family,
that I was about thirty-fix Miles from my Father's,
3
whither
of JOE THOMPSON. 251
whither I determined the next Day to get a Mel-
fage carried to Mr. Diaper. The next Morning,
when Mr. Goodwill came in to fee me, he found
me up, and fitting by the Fire-ſide: He expreſſed
fome Apprehenſion that I had got up too ſoon, and
then congratulated my Recovery, in the moſt po-
lite and good-natured Terms.
I returned my
Thanks for the various Inſtances I had experienced
of his Goodneſs; and was ſo much affected with
the Subject, that I thought I could never acknow-
ledge them enough. He told me not to think my-
ſelf under any Obligation, for that he had done no
more than he thought he was obliged to perform
to his Fellow-creature, under fuch Circumſtances,
as a Man and a Chriftian; and that he reaped the
more Pleaſure in having been the Means of ſaving
my Life, from the Coolideration that I had con-
ferred formerly fome Favours upon his Wife,
which, added he, I ſhall ever retain a very grateful
Senſe of. I was confuſed at what he ſaid, not be.
ing able to recollect I had ever ſeen her; which
Doubt I imparted to him, and told him, tho' I
had reaped the Benefit and Honour of his Friend-
thip, by a Deception which had operated ſo much
in my Favour, I could not diſpenſe with myſelf,
for my Want of Sincerity, if I did not undeceive
him, by aſſuring him I had never had the Happineſs
even to ſee his good Lady. He ſmiled at this,
and told me he did not doubt but I fhould know
M 6
be
252
The Life and Adventures
her at her firft Sight, and that, the next Morning,
he'd do himſelf the Satisfaction to introduce her to.
Breakfaſt, an Opportunity ſhe had languiſhed for;
but was fearful, before, of the Surpriſe doing me
Hurt.
CH A P. XXVIII.
He advertiſes bis Friend, where to find him.-
Receives a Vifit from Madam Goodwill.
-His Amazement at the Sight of her.
IV bo ſhe proves to be. She relates her Ad-
centures.
A
S ſoon as Mr. Goodwill had left me, I wrote
a Letter to my Friend Mr. Diaper, acquaint-
ing him that I was at Mount Chriſtian, with the
Occaſion of my being there, and every Thing that
had happened to me, ſince my precipitate Depar-
ture from my Father's; which I endeavoured to
excuſe to him, and begged, that, without letting
our Family know my Situation, he would imme-
diately do me the Pleaſure to viſit me, that I might
return in his Company ; at the ſame Time beg-
ing him to put poor Fidele, who had, till now,
been entirely out of my Thoughts, under the
Protection of my Mother, till my Return. This
Letter I immediately ſent by a Domeſtic, whom
Mr.
0-
of JOE THOMPSON.
253
Mr. Goodwill had been ſo obliging to furniſh me
with for that Purpoſe.
I muſt own I waited with ſome Impatience for
the Sight of Mrs. Goodwill : There was ſomewhat
ſo myſterious, I thought, in her Knowledge of
me, that it very much raiſed my Expectations of the
Event: I immediately imagined the Lady, whoſe
Voice and Manner I had taken fuch particular No-
tice of at my being brought in, muſt be that Gen-
tlewoman; and the Tone of her Voice, being
what I thought I was no Stranger to, ſtill involved
me in more and more Perplexity: At length the
Time arrived, and Mr. Goodwill entered with his
Spouſe, whom I no ſooner got up to ſalute, than
1 was ſeized with the utmoſt Admiration and
Aſtoniſhment, diſcovering in her Features the well
known Lines of the amiable and unfortunate Mrs.
Modiſh: Her preſent Situation, and the Diſcourſe
I had had with Mr. Goodwill, the Morning be-
fore, together with the Recollection of what had
paffed between us ſome Years ago, joined to make
my Ideas a jumbled Chaos of odd and unconnect-
ed Thoughts. She perceived my Confufion, and
obliging me to ſit down, told me ſhe did not won-
der at my Surpriſe to ſee a Woman ſo altered in
her Circumítances, and in fo happy a Station, the
preceding Part of whoſe Life had been attended
with ſo much Miſery. I was equally ſtruck, con-
tinues ſhe, to behold a Gentleman, I ſhall ever
eftcem
254
The Life and Adventures
eſteem and value, brought to my Houſe, in fo cruel
a Condition, which gave me great and uncommon
Uneaſineſs and Concern. If Mr. Goodwill, who
is well acquainted with my Hiſtory, will permit
me, and you have Strength enough to bear the
Recital, I will ſoon inform you how good Provi-
dence has been to me, and how ſurpriſingly I am
become, from the moſt Wretched, the moſt happy
Woman breathing; and ſtill more fo, as it has
afforded the late Opportunity to ſhew my Regard
for Mr. Thompſon. I returned my Thanks for her
Favours in the moſt feeling Manner, and fignified
my Deſire to hear her Adventures ; which, Mr.
Goodwill being otherwiſe engaged, and withdraw-
ing, after begging Pardon for his abrupt Departure,
the recited accordingly, in the following Man-
ner:
YO
The Adventures of Mrs. GOODWILL.
OU may remember, Sir, the Diſtreſs I was
in upon being met by my Brother-in-Law,
as I was returning from a Country Walk with
you, and that afterwards I ſent you a mournful
Letter, which was dictated by my Concern, as well
for you, as myſelf; for Mr. Modiſe was full of
Rage, that I would not diſcover who you was, and
where you lived, vowing the utmoſt Revenge for
the Wrongs he ſuppoſed you had done him; but
I was Proof againſt all his Menaces, which made
him carry his brutal Treatment to a Length of
Outrages
of Joe THOMPSON. 255
i
Outrage, the very Remembrance of which makes
me tremble ; and, about Half an Hour after, at
the utmoſt Hazard, I had ſent the Letter to you,
I was hurried into a Coach with himſelf and his
Brother, and a Box in which were my Cloaths and
Linnen; and a Coachman, according to his In-
ſtructions, drove at a great Rate, till we came to a
Village, about ſeven Miles from Town, where we
alighted, at the Gate of a very large Houſe, which
upon entering, I immediately diſcovered to be a
private Mad-houſe, and you'll eaſily imagine my
Melancholy and Deſpair, when I over-heard them
give Inſtructions to the Gentlewoman who kept it,
to hold me cloſely confined; and, if it was found
needful, to chain me, ſhave my Head, or otherwiſe
treat me, as the Nature of my Diſorder fhould re-
quire; and then, with an angry Menace, that he
would now wreck his utmoſt Vengeance upon me,
they went away, leaving me in a Condition that
may be more eaſily imagined than deſcribed. The
Gentlewoman then approached me with an Air of
the utmoſt Humanity, and bid me be comforted,
telling me the already knew the Nature of my
Caſe, and heartily pitied my unfortunate Condi-
tion; adding, that ſhe knew too much of the
furly Diſpoſition of her own Huſband, and the
Ulls ſhe ſuffered from it, not to attempt every Way
to make my Captivity as eaſy as poſſible, merely
from ſympathiſing in my Diſtreſs : In ſhort, I
found
i
256
The Life and Adventures
found the good Woman to be a Perſon of ſo kind
a Difpofition, and humane Behaviour, that I be-
gan to think myſelf more happy than I could have
expected. Her Huſband, indeed, was a brutal
Tyrant, that, having been uſed to domineer over
and chaſtiſe the unfortunate Creatures that were
put into his Hands, practiſed no Decorum towards
me, or any one elſe ; and, upon any little Pretence,
would lock me into my Apartment, and ſwear I
was abſolutely mad, and ſhould be treated accord-
ingly. To get rid, in ſome Degree, of his Abuſes,
I was adviſed by his Wife, who heartily befriended
me, to be as ſerviceable as I could to them in their
Domeſtic Affairs; and the Scheme took ſo well,
that I was even truſted with the Keys, and made
the Gaoler of my Fellow-priſoners. To tell you
how many exorbitant Crimes I took Notice of,
in the Time I continued here, would make your
Hair ſtand erect upon your Head: Wives have been
received, as mad, from their Huſbands, who were
tired of them; Parents from their Children;
Children froin their Parents ; and uſed in ſo brutal
a Way, as often really to produce that Diſorder,
or others that have proved more fatal to them.
The Keepers of thoſe Houſes are generally the
loweſt and moſt hardened Wretches to any Senſe
of Pity or Regard for Mankind, and uſe the Power
given to them with a Wantonneſs that is terrible
10 think of; all the Schemes poſſible are put in
Execution
of JOE THOMPSON. 257
Execution to get Money, and the People in a com-
mon Work-houſe may be ſaid to enjoy better Pro-
viſions than thoſe whoſe Friends really pay large
Sums for their Support and Maintenance. My
good Comforter and Adviſer, who was uſed little
better herſelf, frequently lamented her abject Fate,
and the Neceflity ſhe was under to countenance
ſuch Proceedings, which panged her to the very
Heart. I think, amongſt a great Number of re-
puted Lunatics, in the Compaſs of ore Year
and an Half, I obſerved ten or a dozen who were
as auch in their Senſes as I was myſelf, and were
only trepanned into the Houle, to gratify the
baſe Deſigns, or fatiate the Revenge and Cruelty
of their Relations. My Huſband, who allowed
them forty Pounds a Year for my Detention and
Board, never came near me more ; and I under-
ſtood, in about two Years, that he had died with-
out making any Proviſion for my future Support;
ſo that, conſequently, I was at Liberty to go where
I would. I was now in great Diſtreſs, where to
apply for Relief; the Law, with the ſmall Remain.
der of my Friends, ſeemed too tedious a Method
to recover ſome part of my Fortune from his Re-
lations, to whom he had left every Shilling he was
worth: My Father was dead; and my Brother,
the only Survivor, beſides myſelf, of the Family, I
knew was too penurious and avaricious to aſſiſt me.
I once thought of ſending Word to you of my
forlorn
258
The Life and Adventures
forlorn Condition ; but a Train of Reflections upon
the former Actions I had been guilty of, and which
I really had long regretted, and reſolved to forſake;
Actions I fhould never have been guilty of, had
my good Fortune caſt me into more worthy, kind,
and indulgent Hands, than thoſe of Mr. Modiſh;
and the Injury I might thereby continue to do to
a young Gentleman, whoſe Temper ſeemed to
deftine him to a happier Fate, than to poffefs the
Heart of ſo unfortunate a Woman, determined
me againſt it. Yes, Mr. Thompſon, tho' I ever
loved you ſince I knew you, yet I was reſolved never
to indulge my Paſſion in the diſorderly and crie
minal Manner, I before had done, and therefore for-
bore to let you know in what Way Fortune had
diſpoſed of me. At laſt I cloſed with a Pro-
poſal made me by kind Mrs. Ludlam, and ſtooped
fo low, as to accept Wages of her Huſband, to
affiſt her in her Houſhold Concerns, and the Su-
perintendency, at Times, of the Lunatics under
his Care. I exerciſed this Poft, hoping, that, as
the Almighty had thought proper and fit thus to
humble me in this Life, he would graciouſly ac-
cept my ſincere Amendment and Sorrow for my
paſt Offences, and mercifully receive me into his
Favour, when it ſhould pleaſe him to demand my
wretched Being into his Hands, who lent it to me.
Such ſerious Reflections, and a View of the many
Miſeries human Nature is ſubject to, Inſtances of
which
of JOE THOMPSON.
259
which I had daily before my Eyes, together with
the Converſation of my amiable Miſtreſs, diffipated
all
my Anguifh of Heart; and I enjoyed a Calm in
this low Situation, that I thought nothing could
ever have power to diſturb, and which I wiſhed
no Alteration in, when Providence, doubtleſs to
reward my Refignation to its Will, and to put it
into my Power, by Acts of Goodneſs, to manifeſt
my ſincere Repentance in a Condition more ſuitable
to my former Sphere, ſent a Gentleman, one Day,
into our Houſe as a Patient, whom it had reſerved
to inake me completely happy. A Coach ſtopped
at the Gate, attended by a Number of Domeſtics
in rich Liveries, and a Gentleman alighted from it
of a fine Aſpect and Prefence, which ſeemed alter-
ed by a profound Melancholy, and a Kind of Stu-
pidity in his Countenance, which one might plain-
ly perceive was far from being natural, and in-
dicated his Diftemper too ſtrongly, to leave
any
Doubt of the Loſs of his Reaſon.
led in by two others, of the fame Age, nearly,
with himſelf, and, after he was introduced
into the Parlour, they left him to give proper In-
ſtructions to my Maſter, and were longer in Con-
ference than ordinary, talking with ſeemingly great
Vehemence and Force; and I thought I heard one
of them tell my Maſter, “ That, if he performed
their Orders ſtrictly, he mould, over and above
what was agreed on, receive a farther Reward of
He was
2
або The Life and Adventures
an hundred Pounds;" to which he made a very
profound Obedience. I don't know how, but me-
thought this Gentleman at firſt sight intereſted me
in his Fate; I commiſerated his Depravity of Mind,
and wiſhed he had been happier : I found in my-
ſelf an Inclination to attend upon him, long be-
fore his Conductors, each of them, put a Guinea
into my Hand, deſiring I would add my Care to
my Maſter and Miſtreſs's, that their Friend ſhould
be kept cloſe, and no one ſuffered to fee him, with-
out he came in Company with one of them. I
could not help thinking there was fomewhat ex-
traordinary in this Method and Manner of pro-
ceeding, and if the Gentleman had not thewn all
the Signs of Frenzy in his Eyes, and ſtupid De-
portment, I ſhould have imagined he had been
broughtthere, rather as a Sacrifice to ſome bad Deſign
than for a Remedy againſt bis Diſorder. When
they left us, my Maſter ordered me to ſee that a
certain Room was prepared for him, which was
the worſt in the Houſe ; at which when I admired,
he bid me not be impertinent, but obey his Orders.
Accordingly Things were made ready, and he was
locked in, and, tho' in no Degree outrageous, had
the ſtrait IVaiſtcoat clapped upon him, which he was
lo far from oppofing, that he yielded to every Tranſ-
action with the Paſſiveneſs of an Infant. Mr.
Lulam then gave me Orders to attend him, and
bid me not mention him to Dr. Hellebore (the
Phyſician
.
of JOE THOMPSON. 261
Phyſician attending our Houſe) as the Gentlemen
had left what Phyſic was neceſſary for him, which
I was to give him every other Morning. Nothing
of this, ſo contrary to our common Methods, but
ft:ll more and more increaſed my Surpriſe : How-
ever, it was not my Buſineſs to diſpute, tho'
when my Miſtreſs underſtood from me my In-
Iructions, ſhe could not help ſaying, with a Shake
of the Head, that the was fearful it was never in-
tended he ſhould go alive out of the Houſe. None
of our Keepers, either Men or Women, were ſuffer-
ed to go near him but myſelf, ſo great was the Con.
fidence our Governor repoſed in me; and, the firſt
Time I went in to him, I found him in a fixed Por-
ture, weeping like a young Child; and, if I aſked
him any Queſtion, he anſwered with the ſame
Simplicity and Inattention, which
a young
Child would have done. He was ſuffered to eat
no Meat, and his Fare was only Water-gruel,
Bread and Cheeſe, and Butter, which he never
took with the leaſt Appetite, and generally left
three Parts of his Day's Allowance for me to car-
sy away again. Thus he continued, with his
Arms conſtantly confined in the Day.time, for near
a Month, in which I duly attended hirn, and every
other Day infuſed a Powder in his Water-gruel,
which my Maſter gave me for that Purpoſe. He
was almoſt always dozing, and fell away till he was
ſo meagre, that his Bones appeared thro' his Skin,
and
!
262 The Life and Adventures
and he looked like the Picture of Death. I frc
quently carried him privately Proviſions from our
Table, which he would eat very greedily, and ſhew-
ed a much greater Reliſh for than the Food appoint-
ed him. Things were in this Situation, when my
Mafter was obliged to go as far as Cambridge for a
Week to receive another Patient, and both of us
totally forgot to mention his leaving the Powder,
which he delivered only Day by Day, which I neither
knew by Name nor had ſeen before, tho'it ſeemed
to be a Compoſition of ſeveral Kinds of Drugs and
Minerals. This occaſioned "an Omiſſion of three
Days in the Adminiſtration of his Phyfic, for it was ſo
long before Mr. Ludlam diſcovered that he had been
guilty of ſuch an Overſight; which he no ſooner
did, but, leaving his Buſineſs imperfect, he return-
ed in great Hafte to rectify his Neglect; but it was
too late, for, the Morning of the ſecond Day after
his Departure, our Patient began to rave and talk
in a very extraordinary Manner, and would fre-
quently curſe his Brother, and ſeveral others by
Name, who had been the Source of ſo many Mil .
fortunes, as he mentioned, to him; yet in his ut-
moſt Anger he behaved mildly to me, and, in the
Evening of that Day, told me, in as ſober a Way
as I ever heard any Thing told, that he had been
abuſed, and that his Brother and fome other Per-
ſons, eager to poſſeſs his Eſtate, and to binder him of
a Match with ſome ſuitable Perſon or other, which
they
of Joe THOMPSON. 263
they apprehended would baulk their Delign, had
taken the Advantage of a Debauch, and ininglid
a ſoporific and ſtupifying Powder with his Liquor,
by which they had reduced him to the State he
fuppoſed I firſt ſaw him in, and which he did not
doubt had been continued by frequent Repetitions
of the ſame benumbing and dreadful Compoſition :
He begged me, for God's Sake, to hear his Story;
which I did, and indeed thought it a very melan-
choly one : He had been at one Mad-houſe already
by the ſame Means, and perceived that they had
trepanned him thus again, with a ſettled Intention
to take away his Life: Adding, that he did not
deſire me to believe him cill, by hearing the ſame
Story over and over from him, without a material
Omiffion or Variation, and from his temperate
Behaviour, I was convinced he was not diſtracted,
and that at this Time he only enjoyed a lucid In-
terval. He was fenfible, he ſaid, that the ſame
Stuff had been given him, ſince he had been under
our Care, but hoped I was not privy to any of
this Villainy; that he entertained great Hopes from
the good-natured Caſt of my Mind, shat, when I
was convinced of the Truth of this Relation, and
who he was, which he would put me into a Way
of learning, I would uſe my good Offices to procure
his Liberty; and that, as a Recompence for that
important Service, he would vow in the moſt fo-
lemn Manner to make me the Miſtreſs of himſelf
and
264 The Life and Adventures
and Fortune, the Minute he had ſettled his Affairs :
I am now alive again, I ſuppoſe by ſome Miſtake
in the Execution of their Project; and I conjure
you,
if you know, to tell me, how you give me
that curſed Inflaver of my Senſes, and that you
would omit it for the future, and ſhew it to me. As
a Proof that I am perfect in iny Underſtanding, I
will ſtill counterfeit the Stupidity I was ſubject to,
that, for I perceive you are an Amiſtant here, your
Rogue of a Maſter may not ſuſpect the Alteration
that has happily becided. How impoſſible is it for
you to gueſs the Amazement that ſeized me upon
hearing him? I at firit doubted the Reality of what
I heard, and thought it only ſome ſudden Turn of
bis Diſorder ; but when I recollected every Thing
I have before related, and compared it with what
he had juſt told me, I could no longer doubt the
Villainy that had been practiſed upon the poor
Gentleman: I therefore affured him of my Ser-
vices, upon his giving me the ſame Proof of his
Sanity on the Morrow, by perfiſting in the ſame
Story; that, as to his Name and Family, I had
heard it from my Mafter, telling him, that I found
he was a Yorkſhire Gentleman, of a good Eſtate,
whoſe Name was Goodwill; and that what afto-
niſhed me moſt was the Information I had recei-
ved from the ſame Hands, that, after a proper
Trial, a Commiſſion of Lunacy had been awarded
againſt him by the Lord Chancellor. He ſaid, that
was
of JOE THOMPSON.
265
was, he believed, too true; but the Acts of Lunacy
had been proved upon him, at a Time when the a-
forefaid Potions bad rendered him for ſome Time
incapable of managing his Affairs, and returning
proper Anſwers to the Queſtions that were aſked
him; that he had Friends, who, if he had an Op.
portunity to ſee them, would help him in his
Application to his Lordchip for a Reviſal of his
Cale, and which could be no otherwiſe effected
than by my affording him my Adiſtance to make
his Eſcape to London. His Behaviour the next
Day ſo thoroughly convinced me that he had been
impoſed upon, that I told him I was reſolved to
allilt his Eſcape, that very Evening. His Acknow-
ledgments were couched in Terms of the moſt ex-
treme Gratitude, and, my Confidence in him hay-
ing given him the Uſe of his Arms, he preſſed me
between them, and proteſted that he would not, he
could not, enjoy the Fortune I was returning into his
Hands, unleſs I would promiſe to ſhare it with him.
In ſhort, Mr. Thompſon, bis Perſon, his Manner, and
a ſecret Inclination my Heart could not help, confer-
ſing towards ſo much Merit and good Senſe as he
ſeemed to be Maſter of, dictated a Reply ſuitable to
his Wiſhes; and, when I had told him my own Story,
he ſaid, he could not help obſerving, that Providence
had undoubtedly appointed, by our thus meeting, a
Period to each of our Misfortunes. It was but an
Hour before Mr. Ludlam's Arrival, that I privately
VOL. I.
N
opened
1
266 The Life and Adventures
opened a Way for him thro' the Back-door of our
Houſe, and that of the Garden, whence, after
a tender Embrace, I ſaw him, ſwift, as his Con-
dition and ill Habit of Body would permit, ſet off
for London, over the neighbouring Fields, after
I had aſſiſted him in tearing the Sheets of his Bed,
and wrenching the Bars of the Window to which
he tied cheni, to make it appear, that he had made
his Eſcape without any Aſſiſtance. Mr. Ludlam
returned in the utmoſt Pain for his Forgetfulneſs,
and was very ready to charge me with Part of the
Fault; but when, upon going up Stairs, he per-
ceived what had happened, he curſed and ſwore,
like a Madman, and, but for the Expedition he
thought himſelf obliged to uſe in the Purſuit of Mr.
Goodwill, would, I believe have done me ſome
Miſchief in his Paffion. He returned however ja-
ded and fatigued the next Morning, not being able,
to my great Joy, to overtake or diſcover the Run-
away; and immediately diſpatched an Expreſs to
the Brother in Yorkſhire, with an Account of his
Misfortune, and the next Day put an Advertiſe-
ment in the Papers, deſcribing Mr. Goodwill's
Perſon, and promiſing a Reward to whoever ſhould
bring him back. For ſome Days after this, in
which his Revenge was directed againſt me, to
whom, in ſpite of all the Remonſtrances of his Wife,
he had given Warning, and reſolved that I ſhould
ftay there no longer, for my Neglect, as he called it,
We
of joe THOMPSON.
267
we heard nothing of Mr. Goodwill; but one Even-
ing a Coach and Six ftopped, and to my tranſport-
ed View was preſented that Gentleman himſelf
with another, alighting and entering thro' the
Gate. I flew to open the Inner-door, and, the Mi-
nute he entered, he claſped me fondly in his Arms,
and told his Companion, in me, he might behold
his Guardian Angel and Preſerver, to whom he
owed his Life and Fortune: Adding, I came my
dear Creature, with the utmoſt Expedition, to
make you a Sharer in my Happineſs: My Lord
Chancellor, convinced by my Appearance, and the
Teſtimony of this good and worthy Gentleman,
and ſome other Friends, how niuch he had been
impoſed upon, and how ill I have been treated,
has recalled his Commiſſion, and re-inſtated
me in the Pofleflion of what I had been ſo villain-
ouſly deprived of; and I have Yeſterday directed
a Profecution to be commenced againſt the Parties,
who have injured me fo grofly, whom I don't fear
of bringing to condign Puniſhment: I recollected
the Obligations you ſaid you were under to Mrs.
Ludlam, and on that Account have declined any
Proceedings againſt the Villain, her Huſband, on
Condition he becomes a Witneſs againſt my Bro-
ther, and the other Conſpirators. Mr. Ludlam,
who had juſt come to the Door, and perceived how
Matters had been carried, and heard theſe laſt
Words, fell upon his Knees, and confeſſed the
Share
N 2
268 The Life and Adventures
Share he had had in this State of Roguery, and
that he had undertaken to give him ſuch Thing3
as were ſent for that Purpoſe, and very bad Uſage,
to deprive him, as ſoon as poſſible, of his Life.
Some things he added, that had paſſed between
the Brother and him, which made the two Gentle-
men lift up their Eyes in the utmoſt Aſtoniſhment
at his unparallelled Wickedneſs. They gave him
proper Advice upon the Occaſion, and he was ſo
affected with what was ſaid, that he promiſed a fin-
cere Reformation of his Life, and proteſted a De-
teſtation of the many Crimes of this Sort he had
been guilty of. Mr. Goodwill, after beſtowing a
handſome Preſent upon my good Miſtreſs, of
whom I took a moſt tender Adieu, carried me
with him to London, where the Morning after
our Arrival, he married me, and I have ever ſince,
with that moſt excellent of Men, enjoyed a Life
of perfect Bliſs and Satisfaction. We have been
at this Seat about three Months, and underſtand
that the Conſpirators, fearful of abiding the Iſſue
of the Law, before they could be ſecured, have
fled over into France, where my Spouſe thinks
to leave them to the Remorſe of their own Con-
ſciences, without carrying his juſt Reſentment
further againſt them; nay, has even privately re-
mitted fome Monies for the Uſe of his wretched
Brother, fo merciful and forgiving is his Diſpoſi-
tion. Mr. Ludlam is al ered for the better, and
behaves
of Joe THOMPSON. 269
behaves with more Decorum to his good Wife,
with whom I even now take a Pleaſure to corre-
ſpond. And thus, Mr. Thompſon, I have recited
this ſurpriſing Series of Events. My Huſband
knows nothing of our former Familiarities, which
is the only Circumſtance I ever hid from his Know-
Jedge, and your Prudence will direct your Beha-
viour fo properly, as neither to give him or myſelf
any Uneaſineſs. I dare anſwer for it your Princi-
ples are not altered, that you poffefs the fame Ve.
Neration for Virtue I knew you once did, and
which I am ſorry we ever offended; which, more
than any Thing, will ever engage me to beg a
Share of your Friendſhip, and to endeavour, on all
Occaſions, to fhew you how much I think myſelf
obliged to promote your Intereſt and Welfare both
by my own good Offices, and thoſe of my Spouſe.
I fhall be glad to know by what Accident you
came into the cruel Condition my Huſband found
you in, and whether you ſtill purſue the Profeſſion
I left you engaged in.
1
1
j
ܐ ܘ ܝ ܝܐܝܙܐ. ܙ ܕܙ ܕ ܀
N 3
СНАР.
270
The Life and Adventures
CHAP. XXIX.
He ſatisfies Mrs. Goodwill's Inquiries.---She
engages to take Fidele into her Service-
Mr. Diaper arrives, with whom he returns
to bis Father's.-Receivcs e Letter froin
Louiſa.--His Friend and be ſet out for
London.--They arrive at Mr. Bellair’s.
HUS this worthy Woman concluded her
Narration, which gave me infinite Pleaſure :
I was grieved at the Hardſhips ſhe had gone thro',
and ſincerely congratulated her on her preſent
Happineſs, which indeed ſeemned without the leaſt
Alloy to adulterate it. We both took Occafion
to admire the Ways of Providence, puzzled in
Mazes, and perplexed with Errors; nor could I
forbear repeating the following Lines of the fame
excellent Poet upon the Occaſion :
Our Underſtanding traces them in vain,
Loft and bewilder'd in the fruitleſs Search;
Nor ſees with how much Art the Windings run,
Nor where the regular Confuſion ends.
I began to be more reſigned to the Diſpenſations
of Heaven, perceiving by this Recital, which il.
luſtrated many former Obſervations, that our De.
ſigns and Counſels are far from being able to pro-
duce
1
of Joe THOMPSON.
271
.
:
:
:
.
duce the Effects we deſire, unleſs Providence at
tlie ſame Time ſuperintends and approves our
Plans of Action ; and that we ſhould never repine
at the little Accidents or Rubs we meet with in
Purſuit of our Wiſhes, ſeeing they may in the End
be productive of the very Things we think them
moſt retrograde and contrary to.
I thanked her for her Profeffions of Regard to
me, with Warmth and Fervor, and related my for-
mer Adventures, in as brief a Manner as poſſible,
to her, enlarging upon what had lately happened,
and my Affection for the charming Louiſa. She
condoled with me upon the Croſſes that had befal-
len us in our Loves; but, at the ſame 'Time, com-
forted me, by repreſenting how much I ought to be
ſatisfied in the Prudence and Conſtancy of that
Lady, and her Promiſes of being no other's than
mine; that all the Sallies of Rage and Paſſion, I
had been guilty of, had been an Injury to the Opi-
nion I ought to entertain of her, and, inſtead of fur-
thering my Wiſhes, had involved me in the great-
eſt Danger and Diſtreſſes. I was convinced of the
Truth of what this excellent Woman ſaid, and re-
folved for the future to act with more Caution and
Regard to my Louiſa’s Inſtructions. She then took
Notice of what I had related of the Grief of Fidele
at her being ſeparated from her Miſtreſs, and oblig.
ingly told me, that ſhe would take her under her
Care, if I would permit her, till her Lady was in a
Capacity
.
:
:
3
N 4
272
The Life and Adventures
Capacity to receive her again into her Service. I
was charmed with this Offer, as I was under a lit-
tle Dilemma, as to the Manner I ſhould diſpoſe of
that faithful Girl, whom my lovely Maid had fo
ſtrongly recommended to my Protection, knowing
that my Father would be too delicate in an Affair
of this Nature, to let her continue about my Mo-
ther, who otherwiſe I was ſure would have been
proud of the Opportunity of keeping Fidele with
her. Mr. Goodwill, by this Time, returned, and
the Converſation became general; amongſt other
Matters, he ſaid, he was glad to underſtand I was
bis Countryman; that he recollected to have ſeen
my Father, whom he wiſhed for an Opportunity to
revive his Acquaintance with, and hoped, where.
ever I ſettled for the future Part of my Life, I would
join with him and Mrs. Goodwill, in maintaining a
Friendſhip and Correſpondence with each other.
I was too much honoured by ſuch a Propoſal to
hear it without the utmoſt Returns of Thankful-
neſs I could make, by owning my Senſe of ſo kind
and to me intereſting a Propoſal; for Mr. Good-
will, without Diſpute, was a Gentleman of a
very large Eſtate, and as conſiderable in his Inte-
reft, as moſt in the County. I diſcovered in this
and other Converſations I had with him, that he
was a Man of great Senſe, nice Diſcernment, and
had acquired a Knowledge of Letters, that al-
moſt induced me to think he had ſpent the
greateſi
1
of Joe THOMPSON. 273
greateſt Part of his Life in a College. As I grew ſtill
better and better, they took me with them in the
Chariot, and now and then on Horſeback, and en-
deavoured, by all the Amuſements they could in-
vent, to chace away my Melancholy, and inſpire
me with my wonted Health. In about a Day and
an Half, my dear Friend, who ſet out with the
Meſſenger, the Minute he received my Account
where I was, arrived, and his preſence ſeemed to
caſt a new Satisfaction over my Mind, that ſoon
helped me to overcome my remaining Weakneſs.
Our Meeting was very tender and affectionate, and
he expreſſed his Grief at ſeeing ſo viſible an Al-
teration in my Countenance ; but, when he heard
from me every minute Circumſtance of the Cruel-
ties that 'Squire Rich had acted upon me, he was
all Diſtraction, and it was with Difficulty I could
reſtrain him from going immediately in Search of
the Villain, to bring him to immediate Punish-
ment for his repeated Crimes. He was received by
my Friends, with great Diſtinction and Reſpect,
they having underſtood by me his Worth and the
mutual Friendſhip that ſubliſted between us, and
they (pared no Device to make our Abode agree-
able and entertaining to us. I gave him a fuccinct
Account of the Adventures of this happy Pair,
which gave him prodigious Pleaſure, and opened
a Field for many excellent Obſervations, by all
which he eſſayed to convince me of the Unreaſon-
ableneſs
N 5
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The Life and Adventures
ableneſs and Folly of my late Behaviour. I was
curious to know how my Father and Mother took
my ſudden Diſappearing, upon which he informed
me, that they were both under a Confternation
that is inexpreſlible, when they underſtood the
Motives and Manner of my ſetting out, which
Fidele was able to give them an Idea of; as to his
Part, he ſaid, he had rode in Search after me eve-
sy Way, and had employed two or three Days in
vain and teaſing Efforts to find me ; but that no-
thing could equal the Dread and Apprehenſions of
their foreboding Souls, when my Horſe, which
had been ſtopped by a neighbouring Farmer, who
had ſeen me ride him, was brought Home with-
out his Rider. My Mother fainted, and Fidele
wrung her Hands in the utmoſt Agony; my Fa-
ther, to whom at that Time my Friend was dif-
cloſing my Amour, which he thought it now ne-
ceſſary to do, was ftruck with Fear at what might
have happened to me, and diſpatched Meſſengers
every Way, but to no Purpoſe, to diſcover where
I was, or what Accident might have befallen me;
and every one was inconſolable in the Family till
my Letter arrived, which, notwithſtanding my
Injunctions, he thought proper to communicate to
my Father and Mother, which raiſed their droop.
ing Hearts.
He further informed me, that Sir
Valter had not returned to his Seat, fince he went
from it, which was the Day of my own Departure ;
that
muito
H
of Joe THOMPSON. 275
that my Father was quite grieved at my Impru-
dence in involving myſelf in a Paffion for Miſs
Louiſa before I was ſettled in the World ; but
more particularly blamed me, for my Raſhneſs,
and Want of Temper, in the Purſuit of it: How-
ever, he believed, he ſaid, that he was ſecretly in-
clined to favour my Pretenſions, as well from AF-
fection to me, as his Veneration for the lovely and
deſerving Object of my Flame, whoſe great Me-
rit and Beauty, he could not help privately owning,
was a ſufficient Inducement for my acting as I had
done.
Two Days after my Friend's Arrival, being now
able to take the Journey, we took Leave of Mr.
Goodwill and his Lady, not without loading them
with fincere and tiparty Acknowledgments for the
Favours and Kindneſſes we had received, and mak-
ing Proteitations, on all Sides, to continue our
Friendſhip and Acquaintance, accompanied on our
Parts, with repeated Promiſes of wating upon
them again in the Country, or as ſown as they ar-
rived at their Houſe in London. In the Evening
we alighted at my Father's, and the Sight of that
Neighbourhood well nigh plunged me into my
former Melancholy, and drew a profound Sigh
from the Bottom of my Heart. My Mother re-
ceived me like one riles from the Dead; and poor
Fidili, who had ſtaid with her ever ſince, was in
Ex:aſies at ſeeing me again. My Father receivel
N 6
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The Life and Adventures
me alſo with great Affection, but mingled his Ex-
preſſions of Joy for my ſafe Arrival, with Animad-
verſions upon my Folly, in ſuffering myſelf to be
driven to ſuch headſtrong Actions by my Paffiong.
which, however, he generouſly ſaid he had not the
Power to condemn, but only let me know that he
thought I ought at leaſt to have been freed from
the Obligation I was under to my Maſter, before I
had ſuffered Love to make ſuch an Alteration in
me; concluding with Rules for the future Govern-
ment of my Tranſports, and Injunctions to wait
the happy Moment, which he ſaid might proba-
bly arrive, when Sir Walter might be induced, by
his Daughter's Sollicitations, and a View of my in-
creaſing Worth and Merit, to return to his former
Eſteem of me, and conſent to make me his Son-
in-Law. I kiſſed his Hand at this flattering Con-
cluſion, which ſeemed to revive my Expectations
of Happineſs, and reſolved, as near as poſſible, to
conform myſelf to the Rules he had laid down. Fi-
dele and my Mother both approved of her going to
flay with Mrs. Goodwill, where, accordingly, the
went, carrying a Letter of Compliments from me,
and another of Thanks from my Father, for their
Goodneſs to me, after I had made her a handſome
Preſent in Money, and promiſed her ſhe ſhould
never be at a Loſs for a Friend, till I could re-
ſtore her to my Louiſa. She had not been gone
abovc two Hours, when a Man, in Sir Walter's
Livery,
23
of JOE THOMPSON. 277
Livery, delivered me a Letter, which I immediately
diſcovered, to my equal Amazement and Joy, was
the Writing of my charming Louiſa. Finding, by
it, I was not to return an Anſwer, I rewarded the
Servant for his Fidelity to his young Lady, in the
moſt generous Manner, and ventured to aſk him if
he knew where the’Squire was gone; and he inform-
ed me he was at a neighbouring Seat to that where
my Louiſa reſided, where he ſtill lived with Sir
Walter, without making any Progreſs with his Cou-
fin. I was concerned the Diſtance gave me no Liber-
ty to chaſtiſe this Scoundrel; but it was impoſſible,
and I pleaſed myſelf with the Thoughts of ſome fu-
ture Opportunity of gratifying my juſt and equi-
table Reſentment. Never was Mortal ſo inſpired
I was by the Receipt of this reviving Letter,
which I kiſſed and hugged to my Bofom, with ena-
thuſiaſtic Raptures! Oh! the melting Softneſs con-
veyed in every Line! the tender Fears ! the earneſt
Wiſhes for our happy Return to each other ! dir-
folved my very Soul away. She informed me of
her Health, and that her father, content with
having removed her from me, allowed her more
Liberty than ſhe could have expected at her firſt
Arrival; that fhe had engaged this Servant to
bring me that Letter, to which the deſired I would
not think of returning an Anſwer, as it might oc-
caſion, by a Diſcovery, fill more Unhappineſs to
her; She fwce:ly endeavoured to chace away any
Diſtrust
as
278
The Life and Adventures
Diftruft of her Truth and Conſtancy, which might
dwell upon my Mind; and ſuppoſed, ſoon after I
could receive this, I ſhould be obliged to return to
London, where ſhe adviſed me to live as happily as
poſſible, till ſome future good Fortune ſhould put
it in our Power to ſatisfy the Motions of our
Hearts. Such a pleaſing Satisfaction and Calm
ſucceeded the Receipt of theſe welcome, unexpect-
ed Lines, that could be equalled by nothing, but
that Eaſe the sight of my Louija herſelf would have
inſpired, which gave my Father and Mother, and
my Friend, a great deal of Joy; and now, the
Time of our Departure, according to my worthy
Maſter's Inſtructions, was near expired, and Mr.
Diaper was eager to viſit his Miſs Bellair, where,
according to Promiſe, we were to ſpend a Wecha
which I could not refuſe to this excellent Affociate.
Before we ſet out, we viſited Mr. Goodwill and
his Lady once more, Mr. Archer, and Mr. Sharp-
ley, and took a Farewel of all our Friends, who
regretted our Departure. A Thouſand Times I
viſited, alſo, every Retreat about Sir Walter's,
where I had been ſo bleſſed in my Louiſa, and
fighed her Name in every conſcious Grove! I
went to the poor Family ſhe had once carried me
to fee, whom I found in Grief for the Loſs of
their Benefactreſs, whoſe Place, at preſent, I en-
deavoured to ſupply, by giving the good Woman
a Sum of Money for her immediate Purpoſes, and
promiling
of JOE THOMPSON.
279
promiſing to ſee them at my Return into the Coun-
try. My Mother's Tenderneſs gave her grea:
Pain in this Separation; but, when Mr. Diaper and
myſelf both affured her that we would obtain
Leave to take another Tour, in four or five Months,
ſhe was, in ſome Meaſure, comforted. My Fa-
ther was alſo moved at Parting with us; and, in-
deed, we were now ſo naturaliſed to the Country,
that we could hardly bear the Thoughts of leaving
it ourſelves. Our Embraces and Adieus were ſen-
fibly touching, and we ſet out with my Father,
Mr, Archer, and Mr. Sharpley, who would infift
upon feeing us fome Miles on our Way ; but which
only ſerved to give us freſh Torment, in going
thro the ſame tender Scene once more.
Now left to ourſelves, nothing but Love filled
our Thoughts, and we rode a conſiderable Stage,
without breaking the Silence our Contemplations
occaſioned. The Difference, indeed, between my
Friend's Reflections and mine was great; he was,
with eager Wiſhes, longing Expectations, in the
Proſpect of throwing himſelf at the Feet of his
Lovely Bellair, whilft I was deploring the im-
menſe Diſtance that ſtill divided me from my
Louiſa, and the various Obſtacles I had to ſur-
inount, before I could even promiſe myſelf the
Happineſs of ſeeing that adorable Creature. Thus
differently were we employed, till we arrived at
Mr, Bellair's, where we were received with more
Rejoicing
280 The Life and Adventures
Rejoicing and Civilities than can well be ex-
preſſed.
CH A P. XXX.
generous Propoſal of Mr. Bellair's.--Mr.
Diaper happy in the View of his future
Bliſs.—The tender Parting of the two Lc-
vers.—They ſet out for London.-- Arrive
there. Are moſt affectionately received by
Mr. and Mrs. Diaper.
THIS
HIS amiable and worthy Pair ſtudied how
they could teſtify their Pleaſure at our long
expected Viſit; and Miſs Sukey, whoſe Charms
were more and more improved ſince I laſt ſaw her,
contrived a thouſand little Entertainments for her
Lover, to fix him as long as poſſible with her.
Our Converſations rolled upon the ſeveral Acci
dents we had met with in the Country; and Mr.
Diaper having jocularly told Miſs Bellair that I was
as much a Captive to Love, fince ſhe ſaw me, as
himſelf, it opened a Way for me to gratify theſe
good and kind Friends with a Character of
my
Louiſa, and a Detail of my paft Misfortunes, and
the Griefs that at this Time oppreſſed my Heart,
After all you have ſaid, cries Mr. Bellair, I don't
fee you have ſo much Occaſion for Deſpair as you
imagine:
of JOE THOMPSON. 281
imagine : Your principal Difficulty ſeems to lie, in
gaining Sir Walter's Conſent to your Happineſs,
which you imagine Want of Fortune will render
an Impoſſibility. As to that, I believe I I may ſoon
promiſe you a Remedy, which I here vow I'll ad-
miniſter with the utmoſt Satisfaction. I expect,
by the Death of an Uncle in Leiceſterſhire, who
is every Day likely to deceaſe, an Increaſe to my
Eſtate, already large enough for this Lady and my-
ſelf, of 1100l. a Year. If I were to make this private-
ly over to you for ſome Years, which I proteft I ſhall
find no Regret in doing, would you conſent to
make an Acknowledgment, by paying your Friend
here 2000 1. as an Increaſe of my Siſter's Fortune,
as ſoon as it comes into your Hands? The Term
ſhall be twelve or fourteen Years, then to be re-
ſumed by me or my Heirs, paying a proper Con-
fideration upon the Death of Sir Walter, for the
Uſe of the Money ariſing from the Income of the
ſaid Eſtate, which alſo ſhall be applied to the Uſe
of Mr. Diaper and my Sifter, or their Children.
What doft ſay, Thompſon ? added he, I love you
ſo much, that you ſhall be welcome to the Puffe!-
fion of it, as ſoon as it falls ; and then I fancy,
with that Stock of Merit, ſo much in Requeſt, Sir
Walter will give Ear to your Suit.
As I knew this Propoſal was not merely dictated
by Mirth, but would have been put in Practice,
upon my deſiring it, as ſoon as it was in Mr. Bilo
lair's
!
282 The Life and Adventures
As to
lair's Power, I returned him Thanks with a Mix-
ture of Seriouſneſs and Jeſt; and told him I'd take
as much 'Time to conſider of it, as would paſs be-
tween this and the Death of his Uncle.
We hunted, fiſhed, and made frequent Parties
of Pleaſure, whilſt we ftaid at this Gentleman's;
and both himſelf and his Lady endeavoured to ba-
niſh that ſettled, mournful Gloom, that conſtantly,
notwithſtanding all my Efforts to the contrary',
was impreſſed upon my Countenance.
Mr. Diaper, he was as happy as a Man can be, who
enjoys the Company of the Object of his Love;
and ſeemed now to have nothing to fear that could
hinder his approaching Marriage, which he was to
get his Father's Confent to, the Minute he arrived
in Town, and where Mr. Bellair and his Family
propoſed to repair in a Month's Time at fartheſt.
Miſs Sukey was entirely pleaſed in her Choice;
and upon his mentioning his Father's late Loſs,
which ſo much affected him, told him, an Increaſe
or Decreaſe in his Fortune was never capable of
making the leaſt Impreſſion, to his Prejudice, in
her Boſom; that ſhe did not doubt of being happy
with him, and that Riches had no Share in the Af-
fection the profeſſed for him. Her Sentiments were
agreeable, in that, to her Brother's and Siſter's,
who often told my Friend, that Half what he was
likely to poffeſs was enough to make two reaſonable
Beings happy.
The
of JOE THOMPSON. 283
The Time of our Departure came.-My Friend
had perceived its Approach with Pain, and was now
quite amicted at the Thoughts of leaving his Mif-
treſs ; who, on her Side, alſo, was full of Anxi-
ety and Uneaſineſs, which the could not conceal.
I have thought fince, that Providence permits us to
receive ſome foreboding Hints of the Ills that are
likely to be our Portion. I have often, beſore
ſome ſiniſter Event, found a Heavineſs and Dul-
neſs, a Grief dwelling with me, that I could not
account for, juſt before the Blow has fallen upon
my lilead. All the ſair Proſpecis theſe tender Lo-
vers had of their Felicity, which ſeemed fo near in
its Approach, could not conſole them for this Se-
paration, and Sighs and Tears involuntarily howed !
Alas! too fure a Preſage of the gathering Storms,
that were threatening to diſcharge their Force upon
them!
Mr. Bellair and his Spouſe, by their Diſcompo-
ſure in parting with us, convinced us how dear
we were to them ; and I could not help feeling a
certain, unſpeakable Regret when I took my
Leave. We fat out, and, nothing particular hap-
pening the Remainder of our Journey, we arrived
in London, in perfect Health of Body, but with
other Minds than we had carried thence, after an
Abſence of ſeven Months, and a few Days.
When we came Home, the Servants hardly knew
us, our Faces were ſo tanned; nay, honeft Prig,
who
A
284 The Life and Adventures
who happened to be there at our Entrance, ſwore
we had made a Voyage into the South Seas, and
had brought home the duſky Hue of the Spaniſh
Indies. My Maſter and Miſtreſs received us with
the utmoſt Affection, and endeavoured every
Way to fhew how much they were pleaſed in cur
punctual Compliance with our Orders to relurn.
We viſited our Acquaintance, and began to re-
ſume our ſeveral Departments in Buſineſs, which,
from ſo long a Diſuſe, appeared at firſt very auk-
ward to us.
CHAP. XXXI.
He
grows melancholy.--His Maſter ſuffers
another great Loſs.--His Friend's Diſtreſs
thereon.--Letter to him from Miſs Suſanna
Bellair.--Mr. Diaper writes to Mr. Thomp-
fon on Account of his Son's Condition. ---
His Father writes him a Letter which in-
creaſes bis Diſorder.-Mr. Diaper fails. ---
Behaviour of that worthy Man upon the un-
fortunate Occaſi011.--He gives Thompſon
his Indentures, accompanied with proper Ad-
vice.
Y Mafter, ſoon after our Arrival, ſet out
M
for Briſtol, to inſpect into the Affairs of
Mr. Troffic, where he ſtayed near a Fortnight;
but
- -- --
of JOE THOMPSON. 285
but found Things fo bad, that himſelf, and the
reſt of the Creditors, were obliged to accept of
five Shillings in the Pound for their Demands;
which, as that Gentleman made it appear to their
Satisfaction, that his Misfortunes flowed from no
perſonal bad Conduct, but from unavoidable Loſſes
in Trade, they made no Dificulty of, and ſuffered
him to enter into Buſineſs again ; my Maſter, in
the moſt generous Manner imaginable, giving him
freſh Credit.
My Mind fo dwelt, ever ſince my Return from
the Country, upon my charming Louiſa, and re-
preſented the Difficulties I had to encounter to pro-
cure the Enjoyment of that lovely Maid, and the
Diſtance ſhe was at from me, with the Poſſibility
of her being induced, by Abſence and Threats, to
forſake me, in ſuch gloomy and torturing Lights,
that I fell into fo black and profound a Melancholy,
as alarmed the whole Family for my Safety: In
vain were all the Reaſons of my Friends; vain
were the various Avocations Buſineſs provided, or
the ſeveral Amuſements the Goodneſs of Mr.
Diaper ſuffered us to partake of : Nothing could
remove my Fixedneſs of Thought from Objects of
ſo terrifying a Caſt, on which I was brooding per-
petually, with an Intenſeneſs that ſhattered my
Brain. I forgot to correſpond with my Friends,
and hardly ever wrote to any but
my
whom I peſtered with Inquiries of Louiſa, from
Mother,
Time
286 The Life and Adventures
Time to Time, which ſhe was utterly incapable to
anſwer; and were, fome of them, ſo abſurd and
ridiculous, that the excellent Woman wrote me
often Word, ſhe was fearful my Head was diſor-
dered, and gave me very proper Advice to mo-
derate my Grief and Diſturbance, which ſhe ſo
plainly perceived, but which I was now incapable
of attending to. Life hung upon me, and became
a Burden; I had entertained a Notion that it was
impoffible I ſhould ever be happy : Hope, with all
its encouraging Train of ſmiling Promiſes, had
forſaken my Breaſt, and the curſed Fiend Deſpair
tyrannically ruled there, with deſpotic Sway:
Tears, involuntarily, would frequently trickle from
my Eyes, and whole Hours I uſed to fit moping
in my Apartment, and quite ſtupid with the In-
dulgence I gave to my Sorrows. My Health de-
clined apace, and I became a mere Shadow of my
former Self, to the great Concern of my Maſter
and Miſtreſs, and the grievous Amiction of my
dear Friend, who was reduced almoſt to the fame
State by his Senſibility of what I ſuffered : Alas!
as great Torments were in Store for the generous
Youth; he, too, was deſtined to undergo his Share
of Pain; and a Blow our Affairs received, about
this Time, rouſed me from my Inattention to
what pailed in the World, and made my Con-
folations as neceſſary to him, as his had been to
Of three Veſſels, the Cargoes of which were
Mr.
me.
of JOE THOMPSON. 287
Mr. Diaper's, we every Day expected to arrive
from the Streights, with rich Returns of Merchan-
dize, two of them were taken by Sallee-Rovers,
and carried into that Den of Pyrates, where they
were confiſcated by thoſe rapacious Barbarians.
This was ſuch a Lors, as obliged us immediately to
ſtop our Payments, in ſuch a Manner, that our
Credit ſuffered greatly; and it well nigh obliged
Mr. Diaper to ſhut up his Shop. He bore it him-
ſelf like a Chriſtian and a Philoſopher; he could
accule himſelf of nothing that could impeach hig
Character, and it was an Accident, that all the
Foreſight in the World could not have guarded
againſt: The Ships were not inſured, and therefore
there was no Remedy for the Diſaſter, and he was
forced patiently to fit down with the total Loſs of
near 20,000l. My Friend, however, would re-
ceive no Comfort ; it was the Death to all thoſe
flattering, deluſive Hopes he had entertained of
his uninterrupted Happineſs with his dear Bellair.
His Father had given his Conſent to the Match,
had, as a Prelude to it, taken him into Partnerſhip
with him, and he was to have ſet out in a Month
to inake that Beauty his own.
He himſelf had as
contemprible an Opinion of Wealth as it deſerves
but his Ambition centered ſolely in making her
rich and happy, and extending the agreeable Views
of Independency and Fortune to their future OfF-
ſpring. No Wonder if the Abortion of all theſe
3
Schemes,
;
288 The Life and Adventures
Schemes, and the Loſs of ſo engaging Proſpects,
{hould give him the ſevereſt Tortures ! I, on my
Side, could not but reflect that the Misfortune
was alſo greatly mine; all my Hopes now of be-
ing taken into the Partnerſhip, which my worthy
Mafter, as well as his Son, had promiſed me 1
ſhould, were in a Manner extinct, and I deſpaired,
more than ever, of pofleffing my Louiſa. Fortune
ſeemed to obſtruct me in all my Views and Deſigns;
but I bore up under it, with more Conſtancy than
I could ever fatter myſelf I ſhould be able to do ;
and applied myſelf, by all the Means in
my Power,
to comfort my young Maſter ; but he was incon-
Bolable, and, in the firſt Agonies of his Soul, wrote
Word to Miſs Sukey of the bitter Loſs, in Terms
of mingled Love and Deſpair. I can't help giving
the World the remarkable Anſwer he received from
that Lady, which in ſome Meafure, when every
Thing elſe failed, reſtored him to ſome Reliſh for
Life.
I
DEAR SIR,
Received your melancholy Letter, with a fin-
cere Grief and Senſibility of your late Mil-
fortunes; but don't miſtake me, it was not occa-
fioned at all by my being likely to ſuffer by the
Blow; far from it, my Love for Mr. Diaper was
built upon other Foundations than the Hopes of
Riches, or the Blandiſhments of Fortune : Your
perſonal
ef JOE THOMPSON. 289
perſonal Merit, Sir, your Worth, your Virtue and
good Senſe, were the Inducements to give you
my Heart, and no Accident of this Kind cal ever
deprive you of it. A little, Sir, a very little Por-
tion of Wealth is ſufficient to make a Pair of rea-
ſonable Creatures happy; or, we'll ſuppoſe you
ſtripped of the common Needs of Life, yet I can
be pleaſed aud happy, whilft I am ſenſible your
Mind is the ſame. If we muſt defer our r U.
nion longer on this Account, let us bear it with
becoming Patience, and depend upon it nothing
ſhall ever alter my Sentiments towards you, or
alienate
my
Affection from you, which is too pure
to ſuffer Decay. My Fortune you are acquaint-
ed with already, and I hope you will think it fome-
what more than a Compliment, when, with my
Brother's Leave, I deſire you would take it, even
juſt now, into your Hands, if any Application of
it can be of Service to you: I will make you my
Steward and Guardian, but only take Notice of
this, that you will be obliged to provide ſomehow
for the Owner, if it ſhould not thrive in your
Hands, but follow the Fortune of what you have
already loſt. Dear Sir, let me deſire you to ex-
erciſe the ſame Reſignation to the Will of Provi-
dence that I do, and chearfully bear up under Ills
that cannot now be cured, but may in Time be
overcome.
Adieu for the preſent, and be aſſured,
VOL. I.
0
that
290
The Life and Adventures
that Mr. Diaper is ever in the Mind and Thoughts
of his affectionate
SUSANNA BELLAIR.
Diſintereſted Creature! generous Maid, may thy
Excellencies prove a Pattern to thy Sex, and atone
for the Faults of a Thouſand leſs worthy fair Ones!
curſed be the Pen that prophanes the glorious, the
reſplendent Kind, with malicious Slander or in-
venomed Satire ! may that Writer, who arraigns
them all without Diſtinction, never be revived by
their chearing Graces! may their delicate Softneſs
of Soul, and innate Generoſity, never footh his
black, his gloomy Ideas, or chace away his medi-
tative Spleen! Come ye balmy Influences, ye Be-
ings breathing ineffable Delight and fair uncloud.
ed Peace, in all your radiant Beauties, and gild
each duſky Scene of mortal Woe! Tranſported
with the Knowledge of your Faithfulneſs and
Truth, your natural Rectitude of Sentiment, your
nice Diſcernment, and the Joys you diffuſe around
you, I, raptured, hail that great creating Power,
whoſe Works were chearleſs dark, till
you were
formed, for ſuch a precious valued Gift as you.
It was then that lordly Man began to live, began
to taſte of Happineſs, ſurpaffed by none but that of
Heaven itſelf! 'Twas you refined his groſs material
Frame, and taught the every Haert that meliorates
our Souls ; you are the Fountains whence all the
ſweet
of JOE THOMPSON. 291
ſweet Civilities of Life derive their Spring and
Source! Pain, with all its writhing Pangs, its fell
Diſtortions, vaniſhes before your gladdening Smiles;
and carking Care, corroding Melancholy, with all
its brooding Train of dark Chimeras, Aly your en-
livening Glances!
Ob IV oman! lovely IV oman! Nature formd you
To temper Man, we bad been Brutes without you.
My Friend was no rooner reſtored to himſelf than,
as if we were alternately to want each other's
Aid, I drooped again, and reſigned myſelf, with
more Violence than before, to all the Gloom my
dark Ideas ſpread around me; which went ſo far
as to render me almoſt incapable even of Buſineſs,
or common Converſation. My Maſter, good
Man, who uſed all his Art to draw me from my
untoward State, by Reaſon and Argument, and
who partly gueſſed the Condition of my Mind, by
what he had heard paſs between me and his Son at
ſeveral Times, thought he ought to neglect no
longer informing my Father of my Situation, and
his Fears of the Conſequences; and accordingly
wrote him Word, that if he thought the Country
would contribute to reſtore me to myſelf, however
he wanted me in London, I Mould have Liberty to
return into Yorkſhire for ſome Time I was not
apprized of this, till one Morning he gave me a
Letter from Home, which came incloſed in an An-
fwer
1
O 2
292
The Life and Adventures
fwer to him ; which, when he gave me, he told
me, he feared it contained fome News that would
be very ſhocking to me; but put me in Mind, that
we were with Patience to bear the Misfortunes
Heaven permitted to fall upon us, and not by idle
Murmurs againſt its Diſpenſations, or a too great
Indulgence of Sorrow, to provoke ſtill more its
Diſpleaſure. I was ſtunned with this Preface,
but, oh! Heaven and Earth, what was my Situa.
tion, when I read the following Lines ?
MY DEAR SON,
WHEN I reflect upon the Vanity and Frail-
ty of all mortal Joys, the Uncertainty of
Life, the Pains we daily, hourly, ſtruggle with, the
Damp that ſucceeds our full blown Hopes, and the
Brevity of our Exiſtence here, how much I deſpiſe
the Avidity and Eagerneſs we expreſs in our
worldly Purſuits ? Man that is born of a Woman
hath but a ſhort Time to live, and is full of Miſery,
is the Sentence that awaits us at our Births, and
we feel the fatal Effects of it, thro’ the whole
Courſe of our Pilgrimage. Let us then be reſign-
ed to the Diſpoſal of that Being, who orders every
Thing aright, and whole Ways are paſt finding out ;
let us preſs forward to the End of our Race, and
not fuffer the Accidents, that befal us here, to dif-
concert us in our Purſuits of a happier and better
State, which ſurely awaits us at the appointed
Time.
of JOE THOMPSON. 293
Time. Let us reflect that we are formed for ſuch
Purpoſes in this Life, as immoderate Grief and
overbearing Sorrow will unfit us for; and that we
commit the greateſt of Crimes, if we incapacitate
ourſelves for thoſe Uſes for which Providence has
deſigned us. You are young, you are capable of
being ſerviceablc to yourſelf and others, God has
given you an upright Mind and an underſtanding
Heart; ftrive to exerciſe thoſe Gifts in a proper
Manner, by applying yourſelf to the Duties of
your Profeſſion. I command you to do ſo as a
Father, I exhort you as a Divine, I conjure you as
a Chriſtian, and I call upon you as a Philoſopher !
Oh, my Son! I muſt notwithſtanding confeſs my
Weakneſs as a Man, and feel for you all the Pains
the mournful Intelligence I am going to give you
will occaſion you! Your poor Louiſa is no more
a fatal Illneſs carried her to the Joys of Immor-
tality, near a Fortnight ago, --in Somerſetſhire.
All the Country mourns the Loſs of ſo much
Goodneſs and Perfection, and your poor Mother
is inconſolable on her own Account, and diſtract-
ed for Fear of the Conſequences it may produce to
you. We received this Advice from Sir Walter
himſelf, who ſays now, he wiſhes fome Things
had not happened, which he fears gave her great
Uneaſineſs : He ſeems to feel all the Grief that a
Father muſt feel on fuch an Occafion, and as he,
of his own Accord, fent for me to acquaint me
with
O 3
1
294
The Life and Adventures
with the News, I endeavour all I can to conſole
him. Remember, Son, the wiſe Conduct and ex-
cellent Behaviour of that prudent Maid we have ſo
immaturely loſt; think how ſhe would have beha-
ved, had the heard the News of your Deceaſe; ſhe
would have mourned greatly, no doubt; tut her
Sentiments of Religion and her Duty to God were
tuo ſtrongly impreſſed upon her Mind, to permit
her to indulge her Bewailings to a criminal Exceſs.
Look upon yourſelf as ſtill obliged to purſue the
Maxims, I am ſure, ſhe muſt have frequently laid
and ſtrive to make up her Loſs to the
World, by copying all her Virtues. Your Maſter
is under as great Affliction for I am ; con-
ſider he now wants your Service more than ever,
and let your Gratitude to him, your Love of your
worthy Friend, your Reſpect to me and your Mo-
ther, and your own Good, rouſe you from una-
vailing Sorrow and impious Complaints againſt the
Conduct of Providence. Sir Walter has diſcarded
the 'Squire, and, which is fomewhat extraordinary,
preſents his Love to you, and wiſhes you would
forget the Injuries you have received from him.
down to you,
you as
I am, ,
I our ever affectionate and tender Father,
WILLIAM THOMPSON,
The Ravings of the Damned, the Howls of the
tortured Wretch in the Vaults of the cruel Inqui-
ſition,
of JOE THOMPSON. 295
ficion, the Starts of the bewildered Madman foam-
ing in his Fits of Frenzy, methinks, could be no
more than a Picture of what I felt at the Reading
of this Letter, which foon flung me into a violent
Fever, in the Deliriums of which, I inceſſantly
called out upon my lovely and unfortunate Louiſa.
I recovered indeed, by the Strength of my Conſti-
tution, the Care of my Phyſicians, and the kind
Attendance of the Family, which was involved
in more Grief on my Account, than on Ac-
count of their own Misforturies: But my Mind,
quite jaded and fatigued, ſunk into a State of ſtu-
pid Quietiſm, and I barely moved as it were by
Clockwork; and yet, that I might have ſtill an
added Weight of Afiction, about this Time, my
deareſt Maſter, preſſed on every Side by his Credi-
tors, was forced to conſent to a Statute of Bank-
ruptcy, in which his Son was joined. How le-
renely, with what Fortitude this good Man beha-
ved under fo grievous a Calamity, would ſhame
Deſcription; he gave Way to no fretful Repin-
ings, but ſeemed to meet the Ruin of his Affairs,
with a Compoſure that aſtoniſhed every one that
knew the Happineſs and Proſperity he had fallen
from ! If he had any great Concern, it was on
my Friend's Account, who, by this mortifying
Stroke, was reduced to a Neceffity of beginning the
World anew, and who felt more pungent Sorrow
than can be expreſſed. I was ſo amicted at the ill
04
Fortune
296 The Life and Adventures
Fortune of this well beloved Family, with whoſe
Fate my own was ſo linked, that I was incapable
either of giving or receiving Comfort ; and my
Maſter even deſcended ſo far, as to endeavour to
moderate the Tranſports of my Sorrow, with a
Tenderneſs that only ſerved to encreaſe my Trou-
ble. When the Commiſſioners had concluded
their Proceedings, every Creditor received ſixteen
Shillings in the Pound, and were ſo affected with
the Fairneſs, Juſtice, and Equity of Mr. Diaper's
Proceedings, and the Regularity of his Accounts,
that they proffered to take Half the Sum, if he
would again enter into Trade; but he was now
advanced in Years, and expreſſed ſo much Aver-
fion to Launching out again into an Ocean of Diffi-
culties, that they found it in vain to perſuade him,
and therefore made my friend a Preſent of Three
hundred Guincas, in Token of their Reſpect. My
Mafter had ſtill his Wife's Jointure to live upon,
which he faid would be abundantly fufficient to
make the Remainder of his Days happy, in a Re-
treat, free from the Noiſe, Hurry, and Uncer-
tainties of the buſy Life he had led, and which
now he was quite ſick of; 'twas near 2001. per
Ann. on which the Creditors could form no Pre-
tenſions, and indeed were fo far from doing it,
that they made his Lady a Preſent of great Part
of her Plate, and other valuable Moveables. When
all the infernal Hurry of this Affair was over, my
Maſter
!
1
of joe THOMPSON. 297
Maſter called me to him one Morning, and thus
addreſſed me: “My dear Thompſon, you ſee the
" End of all my Pains and Care to provide, as I
“ intended to do, for your Friend, and the Diſap-
“ pointments that have ruined my Schemes of
“ Happineſs; and that now I have left but juſt
« enough in the World to live in a genteel Privacy
“ with my Family: Alas! my Dear, one of my
greateſt Troubles ſprings from the Knowledge
56 I have, that I can't do the Juſtice I intended to
“ your Merit, Fidelity, and the Affection you have
ever ſhewn to me and mine, which, how-
ever, I hope Heaven will graciouſly reward, in
66 the future Courſe of your Life.” Here the
good Man wept, and my Tears flowed without
Intermiſſion: I could juſt bring out, “ Oh! Sir,-
you are too kind ;--I don't deſerve a Thought
66 of your's ſhould be thrown away upon me;
“ your Misfortunes preſs me too hard ! I ſhall ne-
ver overcome them. Say not ſo, Child, I be-
“ feech you, he replied," and, after fome Pauſe,
went on thus, “I had fondly hoped to have
66 made you for ever one of my Family, as you
“ know, by taking you into the Buſineſs, which
66 I ſhould then have retired from, and left to
and
my
Son, whoſe Love to you is greater
" than that of a Brother; but you ſee Providence
“ has otherwiſe diſpoſed of Events, and we muſt
65 reſt contented. My Son, I find, is quite averſe
you
05
66 to
298 The Life and Adventures
to following his Buſineſs, and I am making
« Intereſt to get him to go to the Eaſt Indies, in
Quality of one of the Company's Supercargoes ;
“ in which Poft he imagines he may have an Op-
“ portunity of acquiring another Fortune, ſufficient
s to make him happy with the young Lady you
are acquainted with. I will ever ſtudy to do
you, my Dear, all the Service I am capable of;
" and my Intereſt in the World, I thank God,
ss is not in the leaſt affected by my late Diſaſter.
" I am ſenſible you muſt wait your good Father's
66 Pleaſure, before you can determine as to your
“ Deſtination; and, till you hear from bim, let
" my Houſe in the Country be your Home: I
s here give you up your Indenture, and ſet you
s free from all Obligations of Servitude ; you
56 have behaved too well for me to deny you
56 the little Time that is to run of the ſeven
“ Y cars, and I would not oblige you to ſerve
“ any one elſe as an Apprentice. I hope your
" Mind will recover its furiner Serenity, and I
" adviſe you to take care of your Conduct, fee.
“ing, if you enter into Buſineſs, as I ſuppoſe you
intend, you will find a fair Character will ever
os be your greateſt Good in all the Dealings you
“ will be engaged in. You are now your own
“ Maſter, and I hope you will behave in ſuch a
66 îlanner, as to be an Honour and Credit to me,
a Bleſſing to your Parents, and of Service to
3
“ Mankir.d."
2
of JOE THOMPSON. 299
Al
" Mankind.” My Heart was ſo full, I could re-
turn no other Anſwer, than my killing his Hand,
and bathing it with my Tears; and the Idea of
the total Loſs of my Friend's Company (for I had
never heard him mention his Deſign of going
Abroad) was more than I could well bear. My
Miſtreſs and her son ſoon after entered the Room,
and gave me Joy of my Freedom ; which I informed
them was not a State at all different from what I had
ever enjoyed, from the firſt Minute I was bound
Apprentice, by their Kindneſs and Goodneſs. Mr.
Diaper would provide a Supper upon the Occaſion,
and we ſpent the Night as agreeably as we could
be ſuppoſed to do after all the late Occurrences.
CHAP. XXXII.
Mr. Diaper diſcovers his purpoſe to. Thomp-
ſon.--He takes Leave of Miſs Bellair.
Is accompanied to Graveſend by Thompſon
and Prig -Their tender Farewel.---He ens-
barks for China.-Meets with an old Ac-
quaintance at Blackwall. Her Story, and
Death.—They ſave a Woma!: froin drowning.
Who he prives to be.--Sequel of her Story.
S ſoon as my Friend and myſelf were alone,
poured out my Complaints of his Un-
kindneſs to me, in deſigning to leave me alone and
forlorn,
300
The Life and Adventures
forlorn, to tempt the Rage of angry Seas, and
tempeſtuous Skies, with all the Dangers of unuſual
Climates: He told me he had reſolved not to ap-
prize me of it till he was ſure of the Time of his
going, as he could not bear to anticipate my
Uneaſineſs; that he had great Conflicts with him-
felf, before he came to the Reſolution of going
Abroad, but found it the readieſt Way to regain
the State he had loſt, and to make himſelf, and his
charming Bellair, happy. I told him I thought
he had no Occaſion to attempt, by this Way, to
acquire a Fortune; that he might be ſure of Miſs
Sukey's venturing all for his Sake, and that, as my
Father would, no doubt, put me into Trade with
five or fix Thouſand Pounds, which ſhould be em.
ployed in our mutual Behoof; with his Father's
Sett of Cuſtomers, and our Affiduity, we might
foon be in a Condition not to be deſpiſed. He
embraced me at this Offer, but deſired me not to
diſſuade him from his Reſolution; which only
gave him Pain, as he was to part from the Object
of his Wilhes, ſo dear a Friend, and ſuch good
Parents; and then reſuming a Vivacity, which
had been long baniſhed from him, cried out, Come,
my dear Boy, I preſage that we ſhall both yet be
completely happy, if you can but forget one fatal
Stroke, which I hope you will, before I ſee you
again. I was obliged, at length, to acquieſce, with
a forrowful Heart, to his Reſolves, and attended
him.
t.
of JOE THOMPSON. 301
him to take Leave of Miſs Bellair, who was come
to Town a few Days ſince with her Brother and
his Family, and he had already viſited them, and
reluctantly brought her to conſent to his Going.
He was to embark in two Days Time, and was on
the Morrow to take his Leave of the Directors,
who had appointed him a very good Station, that
of Canton in China. Their Adieu was too tender
for even the Standers-by to ſupport, with dry
Eyes; and, after Vows of eternal Truth and Con-
ſtancy, they parted, but both of them, as well as
Mr. Bellair and his Spouſe, inſiſted I ſhould viſit
them as often as I poffibly could; which I promiſed,
with a great deal of Pleaſure. The Parting be-
tweer him and his parents was little leſs tender, and
he ſet out the next Evening with myſelf and Prig,
who were reſolved not to leave him till we ſaw the
Ship under Sail. We arrived at Graveſend at about
Ten o'Clock at Night, and he found at the Swan,
the reſt of his Brother Supercargoes, who were
appointed to the fame Ship, the , of thirty-
two Guns, and 150 Men, commanded by Captain
Friendly. We ſpent two Days here very agreeably,
ſave that the continual Gloom of my Mind
my Friend great Uneaſineſs, who charged Prig
to be as much with me as poflible, and endeavour,
all he could, to divert my Melancholy; telling
him he ſhould expect his Friend at his Hands, fafe
and well, at his Return. Prig had indeed be-
haved,
Mind gave
1
The Life and Adventures
302
baved, ever ſince our Arrival from Yorkſhire, with
fo much Friendhip and Reſpect, and his Character
was ſo much altered, that we both conceived a
great Value for him; which was heightened by the
diſinterefted Concern he had ſhewed in the late
Tranſactions of my Maſter, who had been of
great Service to him in his Profeffion. The Wind
ſhifting favourably, and every Thing ready for
Sailing, now began the Talk of Parting, which
we were both incapable to ſupport with the De-
cency we had reſolved to ſupport it; we wept, and
betrayed ſo much real Sorrow, as amazed all the
Standers-by; rough, unpoliſhed Seamen, who were
not capable of the delicate Senſations, ſo warm and
lively a Friendſhip as ours was capable of inſpis-
ing. Far as our Eyes could ſtrain, we marked
each other, till the leſſening Ship intirely mocked
the Sight. A thouſand Times I implored the mer-
ciful Ruler of the World to return him in Safety to
his Friends Embraces, and his native Country,
happy and proſperous ! We returned to London by
Water, the next Morning, in a Boat we had hired
for that Purpoſe; and, paſſing by Blackwall, our
Curioſity led us on Board a Ship that was receiving
the Criminals, from three or four covered Lighters,
for Tranſportation to the American Colonies. As we
were attentively viewing theſe unhappy, harden-
ed Wretches, as they came up the ship's Side, a
Woman, in tattered Weeds, all pale and wan,
with
of JOE THOMPSON. 303
with the Symptoms of Death in her Face, who
was forced to be ſupported up the side by ſeveral
Sailors, arreſted my Sight, and preſented the Re-
mains of a Face, that, methought, I very well
remembered, and foon recollected to be that of the
perfidious and deſigning Nanny, who had ſerved
me ſuch a Trick, in Conjunction with Packer, and
laid the Foundation of all my former Diſquiets.
Her Condition, notwithſtanding, gave me Pain,
and ſhe no ſooner fixed her Eyes on me, than ſhe
fainted away. As ſoon as the recovered her Senfes,
I would have gone away ; but ſhe called me with a
weak and hollow Voice, and deſired to ſpeak to
I approached her, and the poor Creature
fell upon her knees, and hoped I would forgive her
for the Injuries ſhe had formerly done me; to
which I was going to reply, when one of the Of-
ficers offered me the Uſe of his Cabbin, if the young
Woman had any Thing to ſay to me; which I
accepted, and ſhe crawled in after us, as well as
ſhe could, where ſhe addreſſed herſelf to me in
this Manner: 66 Oh! Sir, how ſhall I look you
" in the Face, after what you know of me! that
« Villain, that firſt debauched me, ſoon after you
$6 ſo juſly abandoned me, left me in Want and
• Miſery, which obliged me to ſeek a Subſiſtence,
by the moſt abhori ed of Ways, that of Pro-
ftitution at an Houſe of ill Fame in Coucnt-
“ Gard/cy, where he had before often carried me,
me,
6
66 and
304
The Life and Adventures
66 and would have perſuaded me to go to lodge.
“ Here I was long ſubject to the loathſome Em-
« braces of all Comers and Goers, till a vile Dif-
temper obliged me to undergo a Salivation ;
“ which, being unſkilfully managed, left me in a
« moſt deplorable Condition, having totally ruined
my Complexion and Conftitution. Perfect
" Want induced me, one Night, to pick a Gen-
« tleman's Pocket, who paſſed thro' the Strand';
¢ for which Fact I was tried at the Old Bailey, and
am ordered for Tranſportation, to which you
may perceive I am going, with the reſt of theſe
“ unhappy Creatures. I am ſo ill now, that I can
“ ſcarce ſupport myſelf, whilſt I tell you this, and
“ hope a few Hours will eaſe me of all my Mi-
66 ſeries together, by Death! I truſt I have made
my
Peace with Heaven; and, if you will mer-
" cifully forgive me, I ſhall die with Satisfaction."
She wept, and I told her I freely forgave her, and
hoped, as ſhe had repented of her Crimes, Heaven
would forgive her too. She thewed the utmoſt
Joy at this, and, whilſt ſome Refreſhments were
providing, which we ordered for her, I aſked
her if her father and Mother were alive; but the
informed me they were both dead, and the feara
ed had broke their Hearts, at the bad Courſes the
had taken; the Remembrance of which drew
a Sigh, which ſeemed to proceed from the Bot-
tom of her Heart. We both gave her Money,
and
of JOE THOMPSON. 305
and hoped ſhe would live to make Amends for her
Faults, and once more be happy; which Words
were hardly out of our Mouths, when ſhe dropped
down before us, and, upon ſtooping to raiſe her
up, we found the unfortunate Woman had breath-
ed her laſt.
So ſudden an Exit ſurpriſed us, and we could
not help reflecting on the Incident, as a freſh Mark
of the Superintendency of Providence, which had
directed me to call on Board that Veſſel, by which
I was able to ſpeak Peace and Comfort to the Soul
of this departing Inſtance of its Diſpleaſure.
Our Boat had ſcarce carried us half a Mile from
this melancholy Scene of human Wretchedneſs,
when another Boat, in paſſing us, ran foul of a
Ship’s Hawſer, and overſet, before we had even
an Opportunity to fix our Eyes upon it, ſo much
as to diſcern if there were any Paſſengers in it; but
we ordered our Waterman to lie upon his Oars,
to be of what Service we poſſibly could, if there
were any Perſons in Danger. Prefently a Woman
popped her Head above Water, at fome Diſtance
from our Stern ; and, at the fame Time, the Wa-
terman came up, and began to ſwim towards us,
and we ſoon took him in, whilſt the Woman ſunk
again, before Afiftance could be given her, there
happening to be no Boat but ours near us, at the
Time this unfortunate Accident happened. He
watched earneſtly her riſing the ſecond Time,
which
306
The Life and Adventures
which ſhe did juſt at our Boat's Side, when I ſeized
her by the Arm, and ſupported her, with her Head
above Water, till Prig and the Waterman came to
my Afiftance, and helped me to draw her in. She
happened to be the only Paſſenger, fo that we ap-
plied ourſelves to bring her to her Senfes, and held
her up till the had voided a prodigious Quantity of
Water, which ſhe had ſwallowed ; and then the be-
gan to revive, Mr. Prig having, with a Penknife,
very dexterouſly opened a Vein in her Arm. We
ordered our Man to row to the Surry Shore, and,
landing, the two Watermen bore her between
them to a Public-houſe, where we got the Land-
lady to put her to Bed, and were reſolved to wait
till ſhe was ſomewhat recovered of her Weakneſs,
and to ſee her Home, as the appeared, by her Ha-
bit, to be no mean Woman.
Towards Noon ſhe got up, and came down
Stairs into the Room we were ſitting in, and re-
turned us her Thanks in a very grateful Manner,
for having ſaved her Life. I diſcovered, the Mi-
nute I heard the Voice, fomewhat, methought,
in the Tone and Manner of it, that was
little known to my Ears ; and when, thereupon,
I looked her ſteadily in the Face, we both mutually
betrayed Signs of Amazement, I diſcovering my
Vauxhall Harlot once more, and the the Benefactor
who had relieved her, after her being ducked by
the Mob a long Time before. The Confuſion the
a
Was
of JOE THOMPSON. 307
was in, and the Alteration her half-drowned Con-
dition had made in her Face and Cloaths, when ſhe
was in the Boat, had hindered my Recognition of
her then; but now, I cried out, What, Mrs. Trip-
Jey once more obliged to me? adding, Why, my
Friend Prig, this, and the Adventure before, would
found very romantically, if they were to be related ;
however, I'm glad to ſee you, Madam, ſo well ha-
bited, and hope you have forſaken your old Courſes.
She was ſo aſtoniſhed, ſhe could not ſpeak for ſome
Minutes; but, at length, aſſumed Courage, and
addreſſed us thus :
NO
SE QUEL of the Story of Mrs. TRIPSEY.
Otwithſtanding the bad Uſage, Sir, you re-
ceived by my Connivance, Heaven has made
you my Benefactor and Saviour; at once you have
faved me from preſent and future Deſtruction, for
your Goodneſs, more than any Thing elſe, deter-
mined me to forſake the vicious Courſes I was en-
gaged in, and now you have given me my Life:
Would to God, Sir, it were in my Power to make
you a proper Return for theſe Bleſſings ; but, as I
am ſenfible of the Generoſity of your Mind, I
know it will pleaſe you to hear that an unfortunate
Fellow-creature is raiſed, by your Means, from the
loweſt Depth of Mifery to Happineſs.
No Creature fure could be in greater Diſtreſs
of Body, or under greater Tortures of Sou!, than
I was
308 The Life and Adventures
I was, when you ſaw me fo cruelly uſed by the bar-
barous Hands of the unrelenting Mob. You ge-
nerouſly relieved me from the firſt, and your kind
Exhortations and the Reſolutions I made, confea
quent thereto, in great Meaſure, calmed the latter.
All that Day, I choſe out the moſt unfrequented
Fields, and, by walking about, dried my Cloaths
upon my Back, mean while pondering what I
ſhould take to for my future Subſiſtence, and to
fupport me free from the wretched Ways I had
uſed, and the Company who had been my Ruin.
I came of good Parents, who died ſome Years be-
fore my Lapſe from Goodneſs, leaving only myſelf
and a Brother, who was now I knew a ſubſtantial
Farmer in the County of Middlefex; but he had ſhewn
fo much Deteftation of me, on account of the Cour-
fes I had taken, that I found no Encouragement
in the Thought of finging myſelf upon his Mercy
and Protection, I was muſing thus in my Way to
Town, and by the Slowneſs of my Motion, and
Want of Attention to my Way, to be ſure looked
like one of thoſe Creatures I had formerly been;
when a Man on Horſeback, in the Road, called to
me in a familiar Strain, and aſked me, How I did,
and if I would grant him a certain Favour? I turn-
ed my Eyes up at the Sound of the Voice, and
per-
ceived it was the very Brother I had been thinking
of lo intently, tho' I was certain, from the great
Alteration a Length of Time had made, he could
not
of JOE THOMPSON. 309
not poſſibly know me. I thought this Meeting was
providential, and was willing to humour the Mat-
ter, to ſee what Lengths he might poſſibly go, be-
fore he knew me; and accordingly with a fhy Air
attempted to croſs the Road, at ſome Diſtance be-
low him, on which he alighted, and, catching me
by the Arm, was going to uſe me ſomewhat rough-
ly, for no Paſſengers were coming by ; when I
cried, Come, Brother, you are attempting to com-
mit a greater Crime than you imagine. Theſe
Words, and the Sound of my Voice, ſtruck him
all on an Heap, and he was ſome Time before he
came to himſelf, when I fell on my Knees, told
him my forlorn Condition, my late praiſe-worthy
Reſolutions, and begged him to believe me, and
fhield me from Vice and Poverty !
He melted, at length, and, raiſing me, carried
me to a Public-houſe at ſome Diſtance, where he
diſplayed all that Love and Affection, which, tho '
it may be for a Time ftiAed, by little Ruffles and
Accidents of Life, yet muſt ſtill, one Time or
other, reviye again, in the Boroms of near Rela-
tions, let their Miſconduct be ever ſo notorious,
and got an Horſe there for me to ride Home with
him upon. Iunderſtood his Wife had been dead near
a Twelve-month, and had left him two Children,
the Care of whom and his Houſe became my Pro-
vince; where I have lived ever ſince, in the utmoſt
Calm and Content, hoping God will accept my fin-
cere
310 The Life and Adventures, &c.
cere Repentance, and Amendment, and graciouſly
pardon the numerous Crimes I have committed. I
was going to Greenwich, when the late unfortunato
Accident happened to me, which you, Sir, and
that Gentleman ſo generouſly relieved me from,
for which I ſhall pray for eternal Bleſſings on your
Heads.
We were pleaſed with this ſhort Narration, ca-
refled her, and encouraged her in her Purſuit of
Virtue and Sobriety; and, after Dinner, faw her
into another Boat, in which ſhe purſued her Voy-
age, and we, full of the odd Adventures we had
met with, returned to London,
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