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B 77 ow A LIVING LIE PRINTED BY SPOTTISWOODE AND co., New-STREET square LONDON A L I V I N G L I E [MENSONGES] BY PAUL BOURGET TRANS LATED FROM THE FREN CH BY JOHN DE VILLIERS I, O N ID ON CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY 1896 MY DEAR DE VILLIERS, In the first place, you must let me thank you for having undertaken the task of introducing ‘Mensonges to the English-reading public; and also express the hope that this novel, which is no longer new, may not cause a recurrence of that misconception which too often arises when a work written in and for a Latin Country is sud- denly transplanted to Anglo-Saxon soil. One of the most grievous results of such miscon- ception, and one which French writers—I speak from experience—feel most keenly, is the reproach of im- morality. Balzac spent a lifetime in defending himself against that charge ; so it was with Flaubert ; so it is with Emile Zola. I well remember how hurt I felt my- self when, in the course of an action brought some ten years since against a publishing firm in London—who had, by the way, issued a translation of the work with- out my permission—“Un Crime d'Amour’ was harshly spoken of by one of your judges. Not only then, but on many occasions, have I had an opportunity of re- marking that the English regard the novelist's art from a standpoint differing entirely from that taken up by French writers. That difference is well worth dwelling upon here, for the problem it raises is neither more nor less than the problem of the whole art of novel- writing. To French writers—and I refer more particularly to Tº ºr , sº- ºr --a # * , s 3 s. –4%– º sº ºf ºf TS. § vi A LIVING LIE the great school which follows Balzac and Stendhal— the first quality of that art is analytical precision. Balzac called himself “a doctor of social sciences.’ Stendhal-Beyle, when asked his profession, used to reply, ‘Observer of the human heart’; and upon the title-page of “Rouge et Noir' he wrote as a motto the significant words, “The truth, the ugly truth.' Every word of Iºlaubert's correspondence breathes forth the conviction that the novelist must always and before all else paint life as it is. These writers and their disciples do but follow, consciously or unconsciously, the scien- tific movement of the age. They are sociologists and psychologists who write in an imaginative form. The attitude they usually take up towards the object they are studying is explained by the fact that, as analysts, they are obliged to assume that absolute indifference to morality or immorality which should animate every savant whilst pursuing his investigations. For them the whole question resolves itself into this : they must look the bare realities of life full in the face, reproduce them with absolute fidelity, and reject nothing they find ; it should be their aim to produce a work of truth rather than a work of beauty. That is why Balzac, for czample, did not hesitate, in ‘Splendeurs et Misères des Courtisancs,’ and in “La Cousine Bette,’ to lay bare with the brutal bluntness of a police report the lowest depths of Parisian vice. That, too, is why Plaubert had no compunction in placing before the readers of his ‘Madame Bovary the repulsive picture of Emma and Léon meeting in a house of ill-fame in Rouen. In his conception of imaginative literature the writer takes no heed of what will please or displease, what will comfort or afflict, what will affect or disgust. A LIVING LIE vii His aim is to add one document more to the mass of information concerning mankind and Society collected by physiology, psychology, and the history of languages, creeds, and institutions. The novelist is merely a chronicler of actual life, and the value of his testimony lies in its truth. It is easy to see, as I shall presently prove, that these aesthetics are intimately related to that great principle of intellectual conscientiousness which, under the name of science, animates the present age ; and this relationship would in itself cndow with idealism an art which has apparently no ideal. But a big objection to these theorics has long been formulated—an objection that seems to spring up most readily in English minds when confronted with the bold utterances such theories authorise. The novel, it is said, neccssarily appeals to the popular taste and places its impress upon the imagination of readers who are totally devoid of the ideal impartiality of those who take up a scientific standpoint. When such readers dip into a work like ‘Splendeurs et Misères’ or ‘Madame Bovary, they at once enter into the very life and spirit with which these books are permeatcq. The author's genius, reproducing in vivid colours scenes of questionable morality, makcs them almost real, and to man, naturally imitative, such studies form a standing danger. If a bad example is contagious in real life, Surely, it is urged, it is none the less so when enhanced by the magic of a master's style. I do not think that, in stating the case for the other side, I have weakenca their argument. At the first glance, it seems irrefutable. I think, however, that novelists of the school of Balzac and Flaubert may viii A LIVING LIE justly reply that the morality of a book is something totally distinct from the danger that its perusal presents. Before deciding whether the total effect of a certain class of literature is worth the danger it incurs, it would be necessary to ascertain how far a work has been properly or improperly understood by all its readers. I, for my part, am fully convinced that the safety of society is absolutely dependent upon a true knowledge of human life, and that every work composed in a spirit of truth is on that account alone conducive of good. If the work occasionally shocks or offends a reader, it is none the less certain that it adds to the knowledge of the laws governing the minds and passions of men. Now, it is impossible to cite an example where the general conclusions drawn by a novelist of the analytical school have ever been contrary to the eternal laws set forth in the Decalogue. Balzac might well have headed the last part of his ‘Splendeurs et Misères’ with this prophetic admonition from the Scriptures, The way of the ungodly shall perish. Flaubert could have chosen no better epigraph for the title-page of ‘Madame Bovary’ than the Seventh Com- mandment; and, if a modest disciple may be permitted to compare himself with these great masters, and his humble productions with their superior works, the novel now presented to the English public has its moral in the words addressed by the Abbé Taconet to Claude Larcher and in the lesson of social Christianity they teach. These few remarks are necessary for the compre- hension of passages in the following pages that might be considered crude outside the Parisian circle in which they were written. When “Mensonges’ was first pub- A LIVING LIE ix lished, nearly ten years ago, it was generally admitted that the picture was very faithfully drawn. On the other hand, it evoked a lively discussion in the Press concerning the value of the process by which this study had been produced—in other words, the value of psychological analysis. Eminent critics reproached me with carrying the dissection of motives too far, and with too frequently laying bare the exquisitely delicate fibres of the heart. I well remember that amongst my masters Alexandre Dumas was most assiduous in warning me of the dangers of my method. ‘It is a very fine thing to show how a watch works,’ he would say to me, “but not if by doing so you prevent it from telling the time.’ That all life is, to a great extent, unconscious is perfectly true, and a psychological analyst may there- fore imperil the beauty of the particular life he proposes to describe by bringing into undue prominence and bestowing too much care upon its hidden workings. So far as I am concerned, I am quite willing to own that in so doing I may have deserved reproach ; but I am persuaded that, if such be the case, the fault is mine and not that of the method employed. Every work of art, if critically considered, will be found to contain incongruities which the genius of the artist must conceal. The drama, for instance, in its use of dialogue, must compress into a few minutes conversa- tions that would, in reality, occupy whole hours. It would therefore seem a priori as if all semblance of truth were in that case impossible. In the same way a lyric poet, by attempting to express in scholarly rhyme and in verse of complicated structure the most simple and spontaneous feelings of the heart, would seem to X A LIVING LIE undertake a most paradoxical, I had almost said an ab- surd, task. And yet the dialogue of a Shakespeare or of a Molière has all the movement and colour of life itself. Heine's Lieder and Shelley's lyrics ale real vibrations of the heart ; and, to come back to the psychological novel, I may surely hold up the works of George Eliot, Tourguenieff, and Tolstoi in reply to the objection that a too minute analysis of character and feeling substitutes a dry anatomical study for the glow and ardouſ of passion. If “Mensonges may not be added to the list, it can only be because its authol has not the necessary skill to wield what is, after all, a most excellent instrument. These are a few of the ideas which I beg you to lay before the 1eaders of the English version of my story in order that theil hearts may be inclined to indulgence before they turn to the work itself. Allow me to thank you, as well as MM. Chatto and Windus, once more for having thought this study of Parisian life worthy the distinction of such a careful and masterly translation as you! S. Believe me, Yours very faithfully, PAUL BOURGET. IIYERES, January 30, 1896. CHAPTER I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII. XIII. XIV. XV. XVI. XVII. XVIII. XIX. XX. C O N T E N T S A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS SIMPLE SOULS . & Ü tº A LOVER AND A SNOB . THE ‘SIGISBáE’. ſº tº G tº THE DAWN OF LOVE . AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC THE FACE OF A MADONNA . THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE. IN THE TOILS , * º DECLARATIONS . CRUEL TO BE KIND . AT HOME * g HAPPY DAYS . COLETTE'S SPITE . º THE STORY OF A SUSPICION . PROOFS . tº Q tº e THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR . ALL OR NOTHING . t THE ABBé TACONET PAGE A LIVING LIE CHAPTER I A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS ‘TIIE gates alc closed, sir,’ said the di Ivel, bending down from his box ‘Closed at half-past nine l’exclaimed a voice from the intellor of the cab ‘What a place to live in You needn't trouble to get down. The pavement's dry—I’ll walk’ The dool of the vehicle swung open, and a young man stepped gingelly out, pulling the collar of his ful- lined coat a little mole closely about his throat. The dainty patent-leather shoes that left just an inch of the embroidered silk socks visible, the plain black trousers and opeia hat, showed that the wealer was 1n evening diess. The cab was one of those Superior conveyances that ply for hire outside the Palis clubs, and the driver, little accustomed to this provincial cornel of the city, began to peer, with almost as much interest as his fate, 1nto the stiange Stleet that, although situated on the bordels of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, had such an old-world look about it. At the time we wiite of the beginning of February, 1879—the Rue Coetlogon, 1unning from the Rue d’Assas to the Rue de Rennes, still possessed the peculiality of being shut off from the 1est of the would by gates, while at night 1t was lit up by an oil lamp, hanging, in the old-fashioned way, from B 2 A LIVING LIE a rope swung right across the roadway. Since then the appearance of the place has changed a good deal. The mysterious-looking house on the right, standing in its own bit of garden, and affording no doubt a quiet retreat to Some retiring old dame, has disappeared. The vacant land, that rendered the Rue Coetlogon as inaccessible to vehicles on the one side as did the iron gates on the other, has been cleared of its heaps of stones. Gas jets have taken the place of the oil lamp, and only a slight unevenness in the pavement now malks the position of the posts upon which the gates hung. These were never locked, but only swung to at night; there was therefore no necessity for the young man to pull the bell, but before entering the narrow lane he stopped for a few moments to take in the st ange scene presented by the dark outline of the houses on the left, the galden on the right, a confused mass of unfinished buildings at the bottom, and the old oil lamp in the middle. Overhead a bright wintry moon hung 1n the vast expanse of the heavens, through which sped a few Swift-sailing clouds. As they scudded across the face of the moon, and flew off into the dark 1mmensity beyond, they seemed only to enhance the metallic b1 illiancy of the luminal y by the momentary shadow they cast in Sweeping by. ‘What a scene it would make for a parting !’ murmured the young man, adding, in a somewhat louder tone : Until the hour when from the vault above us Glares down the frowning visage of the moon . Had any observant passer-by happened to hear these two lines from Victor Hugo he would have recognised a man of letters by the way in which they were delive1.cd. The Solitary speaker bore indeed a name well to the fore in the literature of the day. But names so quickly disappear and get forgotten in the incessant onward rush of new works, self-assertive claims, and flecting reputations that the successes of A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS 3 ten years ago seem as distant and as vague as those of another age. Two diamas of model n life, a little too directly inspired by the younger Dumas, had brought this young man—he was thirty-five or more, but he looked barely thirty—momentary renown, and he had not yet spoilt his name by putting 1t at the bottom of hastily written articles or upon the covels of indifferent novels. He was known only as the author of “La Goule’ and ‘Entle Adultères, two plays of unequal mel it, full of a pessimism frequently conventional, but powerful in their tienchant analysis, their Smart dialogue, and their painful striving after the Ideal. º these plays were alieady three years old, and Cſáude Larcher, who had allowed himself to drift into a firsof idle pſeasule, was beginning to accept lucrative and easy work, being no longel fit to make any flesh and long- Sustained cffort. Like many analytical wiiters, he was accustomed to study and probe himself incessantly, though all his 1ntrospection had not the least influence upon his actions. The most ti Iſling Occul rencCS Seived as a pre- text fol indulging 1n examination of himself and his destiny, but long-continued dualism of this kind only 1esulted in keeping his perceptive faculties uselessly and painfully alert. The sight of this peaceful stileet and the thought of Victor IHugo immediately reminded him of the resolutions he had been vainly fol mulating for some months past to lead a 1etired life of 1egular work. He reflected that he had a novel on older for a magazine, a play to wiſte that had already been accepted, and reviews to send to a ‘daily,’ whilst, instead of being scated at his table in the Rue de Valenne, here he was gadding about at ten o'clock at night dressed like an 1cileſ and a snob He would pass the 1emainder of the evening and a part of the night at a soarde given by the Comtesse Komof, a Russian lady of fashion living in Palis, whose receptions at the grand mansion in the Rue de Bel-Resp110 were as magnificent as they were B 2 4 A LIVING LIE \ mixed. He was about to do even worse. He had come to fetch an r writer, ten years younger than \ himself, who had till that moment led precisely the \noble life of hard work for which he himself so longed, in one of the houses in this modest and quiet Rue tºº. Réflé-Vincy—that was the name of his young col- league—had just leapt with one bound into the full glale of publicity, thanks to one of those strokes of literary luck which do not occul twice in a generation. The ‘Sigisbée, a comedy 1n one act and 1n verse, a fanciful, dreamy work, written without any hopes of practical success, had b1 Ought him sudden fame. Like our deal François Coppée’s “Le Passant, it had taken the blasé capital by stol m, and had called forth not only unanimous applause in the Théâtre Français, but a chorus of p1a1Se 1n the newspapels next day. Of this astonishing success Claude could claim a share. Was he not the filst in whose hands the manuscript of the ‘Sigisbée’ had been placed P Had he not taken it to Colette Rigaud, the famous actress of the House of Molièle 2 And Colette, having fallen in love with the p1 incipal part, had smoothed away all obstacles. It was he, Claude Lalcher, who, consulted by Madame Komof upon the choice of a play to be performed in her salon, had suggested the ‘Sigisbée, the Comtesse had acted upon his suggestion, and the performance was to take place that evening Claude, who had undel taken to chapel on the young poet, had come at the appointed hour to the Rue Coetlogon, where René Vincy lived with his married sistel. This extreme kindness of an all eady successful author towards a mele novice was not entilely devoid of a tinge of irony and p110e Claude Laichel, who spent his time 1n slandering the wealthy and cosmopolitan world in which the Comtesse Komof moved, and in which he himself was always mixing, ſelt his vanity slightly tickled by being able to dazzle his friend with A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS 5 the glamour of his fashionable connections. At the same time the malicious cynic was amused by the sim- plicity of the poet and by his childish awe of that magic and meaningless word—Society. He had already en- joyed, as much as a play, Vincy's shyness during their first visit to the Comtesse a few days before, and thoughts of the fevel of expectancy in which René must now be made him Smile as he approached the house in which his young friend lived ‘And to think that I was just as foolish as that once l’ he murmuſed, remembering that he, too, as well as René, had had his début, then he thought, ‘That is a feeling of which those who have always lived in that kind of would have no 1.jea , and how absurd it 1s for us to go and visit these people !’ Whilst philosophising 1n this manner Claude had stopped before another gate on the left, and, finding it locked, had rung the bell. The passage to which this gate gave access belonged to a three-storeyed house separated from the street by a narrow strip of garden. The poſter's lodge was under the alch at the end of the passage, but eithel the coreczemºge was absent of the pull at the bell had not been sufficiently vigorous, for Claude was obliged to tug a second time at the rusty ring that hung at the end of a long chain. He had time, therefore, to examine this dull, dismal-looking house, in which there was only one window lit up This was on the ground floor, and belonged to the Suite of rooms occupied by the Flesneaus, four windows of which looked out upon the little garden. Mademoiselle Emilie Vincy, the poet's sister, had married one Maui 1Ce Flesneau, a teachel, whose col- league Claude had been upon first coming to Paris—a début of which the pampeled author of “La Goule’ was weak enough to be ashamed. How happy he would have been had he been able to say that he had fritteled away his pati 1mony at cards or upon women He, however, kept up a close acquaintance with his former 6 A LIVING LIE colleague, out of gratitude for pecuniary services rendered long ago. He had at first interested himself in René chiefly for the sake of this old comrade of less happy days, but had afterwards yielded to the chal m of the young man's nature How often, when tired of his artificial life and tortuled by painful indolence and bitter passions, had he not come to obtain an houl's rest 1n René's modest room, next to that in which the light was now burning, and which was the dining-room. In the short interval that clapsed between his two rings, and thanks to the Swift 1magination of his artistic mind, this room suddenly rose up before him—symbolical of the purity of soul hithel to preserved by his filend. The poet and his sister had with their own hands nailed to the wall some thin 1ed cloth adorned here and there with a few engravings, chosen with the consummate taste of a lonely thinkel—some studies by Albeit Duler, Gustave Moreau's ‘Hélène' and ‘Orphée,’ and one ol two etchings by Goya The iron bedstead, the neatly kept table, the bookcase filled with well-bound books, the red parquetting of the floor forming a flame to the carpct in the centre—how Claude had loved this familial scene, with these words fiom the ‘Imitatio 'written ovel the dool by René in his boyish days: Cella continuata dulcescit l Lalcher's thoughts, at filst 11onical, had become suddenly modified by the 1mages his b1ain had conjured up, and he felt moved by the idea that this entry into Society through the poſtals of the Komof mansion was after all a gleat event for a child of twenty- five who had always lived 1n this house. What a heart full of ideals he was about to cal ry into that pleasure- loving and artificial Society that C1owded the Comtesse's salons ! ‘What a pity he should have to go l’ he exclaimed, his reverie bloken by the click of the lock, adding, as he pushed the gate open, “But it was I who advised him to accept the invitation, and who got him dressed for to-night.' He had, indeed, taken René to his tailor, his A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS 7 hosier, his bootmaker, and even his hatter, in older to proceed to what he jestingly called his investiture. “The dangers of contact with the world ought to have been thought of before. . . . But how foolish of me to meet ti oubles half way ! He will be presented to four or five women, he will be invited to dinner two or three times, he will forgot to call again, he will forget—and he will be forgotten.’ By this time he was half way down the passage, and had knocked at the first dool on the 11ght before coming to the porter's lodge, which it was not necessary to pass His knock was answered by a big fat maid of about thiſ ty, with a short waist, Square shoulders, and a great round face Sul mounted by a huge Auvergne cap and lit up by two brown eyes betraying animal simplicity. Instinctive distrust was exp1 essed not only 1n the woman's physiognomy, but also by the mannel 1n which she held the dool instead of opening it wide, and by the way she blinked her eyes as she raised the lamp to throw the light upon the visitol's features On recog- nising Claude her big face explessed a degree of satis- faction that told plainly how welcome the writer was in the Fresneau household. * Good evening, Françoise,’ said the young man; ‘is your master 1eady ?’ “Oh 1–it's Monsieur Larchel,’ exclaimed the maid, with a joyful smile, showing all her shalp little white teeth, of which she had lost one on each side of the top row. “He is quite ready, she added, ‘and looks like an angel. You will find la compagnie in the dining-1oom. Let me take your coat for you . . . Saints p1eserve us ! My dear gentleman, what a weight this must be on your back l’ The familiarity of this maid-of-all-work, who had come straight to the Flesneaus from the professor's native village in Auvergne, and who had made herself thoroughly at home with them for the past fifteen years, was a constant source of amusement to Claude Lalcher. 8 A LIVING LIE He was one of those deep thinkers who worship utter simplicity, no doubt because they find in it a 1elief from the incessant and exhaustive labout of their own brain. Françoise would sometimes speak to him of his works in most droll and glotesque telms, or with great ingenuousness expless the fear with which she was always haunted—that the author was going to put her into one of his plays ; or, again, she would, after the mannel of her kind, give a most ludicious tun to some literary phrase she had picked up in waiting at table. Claude remembered how he had once heald her say, in praising René's ardouſ for work : ‘He dentifries himself with his heroes.’ He could not help laughing at it even now. She would say cewaller fol cue/ſer, engratigner for “gratigner, archeduc for aqueduc, to travel 1n coquelicot for ancognito, and a heap of othel Similar slips which the writer would amuse himself by Jotting down in one of his innumerable notebooks fol a novel that he would never finish. He was therefore as a rule glad to provoke the woman's gossip ; but that evening he was not in a mood for 1f, being suddenly filled with melancholy at the 1dea that he was playing the part of a vulgar worldly tempter. Whilst Fiançoise was hanging up his coat for him he looked down the cort 1dor that he knew so well, with its dools On each side. René's bedroom was on the right at the end of the passage, facing the south ; the Fresneaus were satisfied with a smallel apartment looking no1th, the room next to this being occupied by their Son Constant, a boy Six years old, of whom Emilie thought a good deal less than of René. Claude was fully acquainted with all the 1easons for this tendel sistelly love, as he was indced with the whole history of this family. It was that history, so touching in its modest simplicity, which amply justified his remorse in dragging from this peaceful reti eat the one in whom all was centred. The father of Emilie and René, an attorney of Vouziers, had died a wretched death from the effects of A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS 9 intemperate habits. The practice having been sold and what little property there was 1ealised, the widow, after paying all debts, found herself in possession of about fifty thousand francs. Feeling that life in Vouziers would recall too many bittel memories, Madame Vincy went to live in Paris with her two young children She Inad a blother there, the Abbé Taconet, a pliest of Some eminence, who, though educated in the Ecole Normale, had suddenly, and without giving any reasons, entered 1nto holy olders; the astonishment of his former com- 1ades was, if possible, 1ncleased when they saw him, soon after leaving Saint-Sulpice, set up a School in the Rue Casette. A conscientious but very liberal Catholic, with strong leanings to Gallicanism, the Abbé Taconet had seen many families of the upper middle class hesi- tate between purely secular and purely 1 eligious Colleges, not finding in either that combination of traditional Chiistianity and modern development they sought, and he had taken orders for the express purpose of carrying into effect a plan he had formed fol lealising that com- bination. The height of his ambition was reached on the day that he and two younger p11ests opened an ecclesiastical day school, which he christened the Ecole Saint-Andié, after his patron Saint. The success that attended the Abbé's enterprise was so 1apid that already, in the third year, two small one-horse omnibuses were required to fetch the pupils and take them back to their homes. This opportunity of giving her son, then ten years old, an exceptional education, was one of the 1easons that led Madame Vincy to choose Pal is for hel 1 est- dence, especially since Emilie's Sixtecn years plomised the mothel valuable aid in the discharge of hel house- hold duties. By the advice of the Abbé Taconet, whom the management of the School funds had made quite a business man, she invested hel fifty thousand francs in Italian stocks, which at that time could be bought at Sixty-five fiancs, thus seculing hel an income of two * IO A LIVING LIE thousand eight hundred ſrancs per year. The secret of the idolatrous affection which Emilie lavished upon her young brother lay almost entirely in the innumerable daily sacrifices entailed by the inadequacy of this amount, for in mattels of love we pursue our sufferings as at calds we pursue our losses. Almost immediately after her arrival in Paris—she had taken rooms in this vely house in the Rue Coetlogon, but on the third floor—Madame Vincy had become an invalid, so that from 1863 to 1871, when the poor woman died, Emilie had discharged the triple duty of nursing her mother, of carefully tending a household where fifty centimes meant much, and of Supel intending step by step her brothel’s education. All this, too, she had done without allowing the fatigue that stole the colour from her cheeks to wring from her lips a single Com- plaint. She 1esembled those sempstlesses in the old songs of Paris who consoled themselves in their 1 ude, incessant toil by cultivating some tendel flower upon their window sill. Her flower was her brothel, a timid, loving child with wistful eyes, and he had well 1e- paid Emilie's devotion by his successes at college—a source of great joy to women whose lives were so entilely devoid of all pleasure. It was not long before René began to wiſte poems, and Emilie had been the happy confidante of the young man's first attempts. Then, when Fresneau asked her to be his wife, not six months after the death of her mother, she consented only on condition that the professor, who had just passed his examinations, would not leave Paris, and that René was to live with them, and devote himself to writing. Fresneau joyfully acceded to these demands. He was one of those very good and very simple men who are peculially fitted to be lovers, glanting blindly all that the object of their love desires. He had been enamoured of Emilie, without daring to declare his passion, since first making the acquaintance of the Vincys as René's master at the Ecole Saint-André in 1865. This man, A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS II who was not far from forty, felt drawn towards the girl by the strange similarity of their destinies. Had he not also renounced all selfish ambition and all personal aspirations in order to liquidate the debts which his father—a ruined Schoolmaster—had leſt behind P From 1851 to 1872, when he married, the professol had paid twenty thousand francs to his father's creditols, and that by giving lessons at five francs each, taking one with the other | If we add to the number of wolk- ing houls that p1 oduced this result the time required for preparing the lessons, correcting exerciscs, and going about from one place to another—Flesneau would some- times have lessons at all points of the Parisian compass on the same day—we shall have the sketch of an exist- ence, not uncommon in the profession of teaching, that is capable of wealing out the strongest constitutions His love for Emilie had formed the one 1 omance of Fresneau's life, too occupied as he had been during his youth to find time for such sentiments. The Abbé Taconet had given his blessing to their union, and an addition had been made to the slaves of René's genius. Claude Larcher was not ignolant of any of these facts, which had all been of Importance in developing the chal acter and talent of the young poet. Whilst Françoise was hanging up his ovel coat his rapid glance travelled round the dimly-lighted passage and took in all those matelial details which for him had a deeper and a moral Signification. He knew why, in the corner neal the door, Side by side with the plofessor's stout alpaca umbrella with 1ts clumsy handle, there stood a neat English frame with an elegant stick, chosen by Madame Fresneau for her blothel He knew, too, that it was the sister's love that had plovided the dainty Malacca that adorned the hall-stand, and which had plobably cost thirty times as much as the plain heavy stick cari 10d by Flesneau when 1t was fine. He knew that the professol's books, after having for a long time been exposed to the dirt and dust on the blackened shelves of a bookcase I 2 A LIVING LIE in this passage, had at length been banished even fiom that place to a dark cupboard, and that the passage had then been given up to René's decolative fancies. The walls wel e adorned with engravings of his choosing—a whole 1 ow of Raffet's splendid studics of the great Napoleon, which must have becn vely obnoxious to the Republican tastes of the professor But Claude knew well enough that Fresneau would be the very last to notice the Constant sacrifice of the whole household to this brother, whom he, too, WöTshipped, out of lövé for Emiſſe, as blindly as did the servant and even the uncle —the uncle, fol the Abbé Taconet had not been able to resist the influence of the young man's disposition and talent. The Abbé did not forget that his nephew possessed a modest income—the amount invested, by his advice, in Italians, and afterwalds transferred to safe French stocks, now b11nging in thiee thousand fiancs — and that he himself would double 1t at his death. Was not René's Chi 1stian education a guarantee that his literary talents would help to propagate the views of the Church P The priest had the efore done what he could to start the poet on that difficult path of lettels where the fortunate youth had so fal only met with happiness. Of this happiness, consisting of pure devotion, silent affection, loving indulgence, and healty, Comforting con- fidence, Claude Laichel knew the value better than anyone—he who, bereft of both his palents, had, fiom his twentieth year, been compelled to battle alone against the hardships, the disenchantments, and the contamina- tion of a struggling author's life in Pal 1s. He nevel visited the Fresneaus without expellencing a feeling of Sadness, and to-night was no exception to the rule It was a feeling which generally made him laugh the louder and exercise his most withering Sal casm. Too eneivated to bear the slightest emotion without feeling pain, he was, on such occasions, within an ace of proclaiming his agony, and in view of the hopelessness of ever conquering A PROVINCIAL CORNER OF PARIS 13 this excessive sensibility, ready, like a child, to be judged by his words whilst uttering the most atrocious libels on his own heart. CHAPTER II SIMPLE SOULS WHEN, with his usual bantering smile, Claude entel cd the Small dining-room he found that la compagnie, as Françoise called 1t, comprised René—the hero of what seemed to his friends a most remarkable adventure— Madame Fresneau and her husband, Madame Offarel, the wife of a sous-chef de ózureau in the Ministère de la Guerre, and he two daughters, Angélique and Rosalie. All these good people were Seated alound the mahogany table on mahogany chairs, the horsehair seats of which were glossy with the weal of years This suite formed part of the oliginal household effects of the avoué of Vouziers, and owed its marvellous state of preservation to the care bestowed upon 1t by 1is present owners A pol table stove, fixed upon the hearth, did not tend to 1mprove the air in the Somewhat Small apartment, though it testified to the housewife's habits of thrift. Emilic would have no wood files except in René's room. A lamp suspended by a brass chain illumined the circle of heads that was turned towards the visitor as he entered and cast a feeble light upon the yellow flowers of the wall-paper, 1 elieved here and theſe by a piece of old china. The lamp-light 1evealed more clearly to the new arrival the feelings expressed in the faces of the different occupants of the 100m Likes and dislikes are not so easily concealed by those who move in humble circles— theſe the human animal 1s less tamed, less accustomed to the mask continually woln in mole polite Society. Emilie held out her hand to Claude—an unusual thing fol hel to do—with a happy Smile upon her lips, and a I4. A LIVING LIE look of joy in her brown eyes, her whole being expless- ing the sincere pleasure she felt at seeing someone whom she knew to be interested in her brother. “Doesn't his coat fit him beautifully P’ she asked impetuously, before Lalcher had taken a chail ol even exchanged a word of gleeting with the othcr visitors. René, it was true, was a perfect specimen of the creature so seldom scen in Paris–-a handsome young man At twenty-five the author of the “Sigisbée’ was still without a w linkle on his brow, while the fleshness of his complexion and the look of pul ity 1n his clear blue eyes told of a vilgin Soul and a mind unsullied by the world. IIe bolc a g1 eat resemblance to the medal- lion, but little known, which David, the Sculptol, has left of Alfied de Musset in his youth, though René's wealth of hail, his fall and already full beald, and his broad shouldels gave him an air of health and stiength wanting in the somewhat effeminate and almost too flail appeal ance of the great poet. His cycs, generally sel lous, spoke at that moment of simple and unalloyed happiness, and Emilie's admilation was justificq by an 1nnate grace that 1evealed itself in spite of the levelling effect of a dress-coat. In her tendel solicitude the loving sistel had even thought of gold studs and links for his shut-fiont and cuffs, and had bought them out of hel savings at a Jeweller's 1n the Rue de la Paix, after a seclet confei cnce with Claude. She had fastened his white tie with her own fingers, and had bestowed as much care upon him that evening as when, foul teen years ago, she had superintended the toilet of this 1dol1Scq brother fol his filst communion. “Pool Emilie,' said René, with a smile that disclosed two splendid 1 Ows of teeth ; ‘you must excuse her, Claude; I am her only weakness’ ‘Well ! So you are diagging René into dissipation' too, eh?’ cried Fresneau, as he shook hands with Lalcher. The professor was a tall, bload-shouldered man, with a great head of hail just beginning to turn SIMPLE SOULS I5 grey, and an unkempt beard. Spread out before him, and covered with pencil notes, were some large sheets of paper—the exel cises he brought home to correct. He gathered them up, saying, “Lucky man | You've got rid of this terrible job | Will you take a thimbleful just to warm you ?’ he asked, holding up a decanter half filled with brandy, which was always left on the table after coffee had been seived—the family sitting hete in preference to moving 1nto the Salom, a room in the front of the house used only on gland occasions “Or a * cigalette 2' he added, offeling Claude a bowl filled with tobacco. Claude thanked him with a depiccatoly smile, and turned to bow to the three lady visitols, not one of whom offered him hel hand. The mother, who scratched her head every now and then with one of her knitting- needles, was busily at work upon a blue woollen stock- 1ng, and hel two daughters wel e engaged upon some embroidely. Madame Offal el's hall was quite white, and hel face deeply winkled ; through the round glasses that she managed to balance somehow or other on her shout nose there flashed a glance of deep hatred upon Claude. Angélique, the eldel of the two gills, repressed a smile as she heard the writer make a slight slip in his pronunciation ; with hel black cycs, that shot swift side- ward glances, with her blushes that came as leadily as her smiles, she belonged to the numerous family of shy but mocking females Rosalie, the youngel of the two Sisters, had returned Claude's salute without 1aising her eyes, black as her sistel's, but filled with a sweet, timid expression. A few minutes later she stole a glance fiom beneath hel long lashes at René, and her fingels trembled as hel needle followed the tracing for the embroidely. She bent her head still lower until her chestnut hair shone in the lamp-light. Not a whit of this by-play had been lost upon Claude. He was well acquainted with the habits and disposition of ces d'ames Offare/, as Fresneau called them I6 ' A LIVING LIE in his provincial way. They had piobably ariived at about Seven O'clock, Soon aſtel dinnel. Old Offarel, aftel having accompanied them hole from the Ruc Bagneux, had gone on to the Café Tabouley, at the corner of the Odéon, where he conscientiously waded thlough all the daily papers. Claude had long guessed that Madame Offal el cherished the idea of a marriage between Rosalie and René ; he suspected his young fliend of having encouraged these hopes by an innate taste for the romantic, and it was only too evident that Rosalie had been captivated by the mental qualities and physical attractions of the poet. He, Claude Lalcher, knew well enough, too, that he himself was both liked and feared by the girl. She liked him because he was devoted to René, and feared him because he was diagging the lattel into a fiesh Cu1rent of events To this 1nnocent child, as well as to all the members of this small c11 cle, the soarée at Madame Komof's scemed like a fally expedition to distant and unexplored lands. In each of them it conjuled up chimeſ 1Gal hopes or foolish fears. Emilie Flesneau had always chelished the most ambitious dreams for her brother, and she now pictured him leaning against a mantelpiece reciting veſses in the midst of a crowd of duchesses, and beloved by a “Russian princess.’ These two words expressed the highest folm of Social Superio11ty that hel mind was capable of 1magining. Rosalie was the victim of the keenest perspicacity—that of the woman who loves. Although she 1eproached herself for her folly, René's cyes frightened her with the joy they expressed, and that joy was at going 1nto a world which she, almost his betrothed, could not enter. A bond, stronger than Claude had imagined, already united them, for secret vows had been exchanged by the pair one spring evening in the preceding year. René was then still unknown. She had him to herself. When by her side he thought all things charming ; without hel, all was 1nsipid. To-day, her confidence disturbed by uncon- SIMPLE SOULS 17 Scious jealousy, she began to see what dangerous com- parisons threatened her love. With her home-made dresses that spoilt the beauty of her figure, with her 1eady-made boots in which her dainty feet were lost, with her modest white collars and cuffs, she felt herself grow small by the side of the grand ladies whom René would mect. That was why her fingers tiembled and why a vague terlor shot through her heart, causing 1t to beat quicker, whilst the professor pressed Claude to drink a glass of /t/?teur and to make himself a cigarette. ‘I assuſc you 16's excellent cau-de-vae, sent me from Normandy by one of my pupils. Really not P You used to be so fond of 1: once Do you remember when we gave lessons at Vanaboste's P Four hours a day, Thursdays included, corrections to be done at home, for a hundred and fifty francs a month ! And yet how happy we were in those days We had a quarter of an houl's intel val between the classes, and I lemenber the little café we used to go to in the Rue Saint-Jacques to get a glass of this eau-de-Vie to keep us going You used to call it hardening the alteries, under the pretence that a man is only as old as his artel 1es, and that alcohol diminishes their elasticity.’ “I was twelve years youngeſ then,' said Claude, as he laughed at the other's reminiscences, ‘and had no 1heumatism ‘It can't be very good fol one's health,’ interposed Madame Offarel with some aspeiſty, “to go out nearly every night; and these big dinnels, with their fine wines and highly-seasoned dishes, 1mpoverish the blood teiribly l’ ‘Don’t be absurd," said Emilie, interposing ; ‘we have had the honour of Monsieur Larcher's company to dinner, and you would be surprised to see what a modest meal he makes And people can afford to go to bed a little late when they ale free to sleep long in the morning. René tells us that it 1s so delightfully quiet 1n your house,” she added, addiessing the writer. C I8 A LIVING LIE ‘Yes, so it is. I happened to come across some rooms in an old house in the Rue de Varenne, and I find that at present I am the only tenant 1n the place. When the blinds are drawn I can fancy it is the middle of the night. I can hear nothing but the ringing of the bells in a convent close by and the 10al of the city far, far away.” ‘I have always heard it said that one hour's sleep before midnight is worth more than two afterwards,' broke in the old lady, exasperated by Claude's 1mper- tulbability. She was 1ncensed against him without knowing exactly why—this feeling being inspired less by the Influence he exercised upon René than by deep natural antipathy. She felt that she was being studied by this individual with the inquisitorial eyes, perfect manners, and unfathomable smiles. His presence pro- duced in hel a feeling of uneasiness that found vent in sharp words She therefore added, ‘Besides, Monsieur René cannot have such rest here. At what time will this Countess's sourée be over ?’ ‘I don't know,' replied Claude, amused by the ill- concealed rancour of his adversary; “the “Sigisbée’ will be performed about half-past ten, and I suppose we shall sit down to supper about half-past twelve or one.’ ‘Monsieur René will be in bed about two o'clock, then,' rejoined Madame Offarel, with the visible satisfaction of an aggressive person bringing forwald an irrefutable argument ; ‘and as Monsieur Fiesneau goes out about seven, and Françoise begins to potter about at six——’ ‘Come, come, once in a way !’ exclaimed Emilie with some impatience, cutting shout the other's words. She fealed the old lady's indiscreet tongue, and changed the topic by flattering her pet mania. “You have not told us whether Cendrillon came back for good P’ Cendrillon was a grey cat presented by Madame Offarel to a young man named Jacques Passart, a teacher of drawing, between whom and the sous-chef de bureau a friendship had sprung up, born of their mutual SIMPLE SOULS I9 taste for aquarelles. These were the two family vices— a love for painting in the husband, who daubed his can- vases even in his office; and a love of cats in the wife, who had had as many as five such boarders in her flat—a ground floor like that of the Fresneaus, also with its bit of garden. Jacques Passart, who nursed an unrequited affection for Rosalie, had so often gone into rhapsodies over the pretty ways of Cendrette or Cendrinette, as Madame Offarel called her, that he had been presented with the animal. After a stay of three months in the room occupied by Passart on a fifth floor in the Rue du Cherche-Midi, Cendrillon had become a mother Out of her three kittens two had been killed, and, doubtlessly thinking the third in danger, she had run away with it. Passart had been afraid to speak of his loss, but two days later Madame Offarel heard a scratching at the garden dool. ‘That's strange, she said, verifying the number of her cats—one of which was lying at full length on the counterpane of her bed, another on the only sofa, and a third on the marble chimney-piece. ‘They are all here, and yet I hear a scratching.” She opened the door, and Cendrillon walked in, purring, arching her back, and rubbing her head against her old mistress with a thousand pretty little ways that charmed the good lady. The next morning Cendrillon had once more vanished. This visit, rendered more mysterious by the avowal Passart had been obliged to make of his negll- gence, had on the previous day been the sole theme of Madame Offarel's conversation, and the fact that she had not even alluded to the citcumstance that evening revealed more than her epigrams the importance attached by Rosalie's mother to René's entry into Society. “Ah! Cendrillon, she replied, her ill-humour tinged with the enthusiasm evoked by the mention of the dear creature. “I don't suppose Monsieur René remembers anything about it?’ Upon a sign of reassurance from the C 2 2O A LIVING LIE young man that he had not forgotten the interesting event, she continued : ‘Well, she came back this morning, cal rying her little one in her mouth, and laid 1t at my fect like an offering, with such a look in hel eyes | The day before she had come to see whether I still caled for her, and now she came to ask me to take her kitten too It's better to bestow one's affections upon animals than upon human beings,’ she added, by way of conclusion ; ‘they are much more faithful.’ ‘What a wonderful trait of 1mstinct l’ cried Flesneau, beginning once more to disfigure his exercises with cabalistic signs. “I will make a note of it for my class.’ The poor man, a real Jack-of-all-trades in his p1ofession, taught philosophy in a preparatory School for B A 's, Latin in another, history in another, and even English, which he could scarcely pronounce. In this way he had contracted the habit, peculiar to old schoolmen, of holding forth at length at every possible opportunity. This marvellous 1 eturn of Cendrillon to her native health was a text to be elaborated ad infinitumi He went on telling anecdote aftel anecdote, and folgetting his exercises—to all appearances. The excellent man, so weak that he had never been able to keep a class of ten boys in older, was a marvel of observation where his wiſe was concerned. Whilst his pencil was 1 unning over the margins of the sheets of foolscap he had distinctly perceived Madame Offarel's hostility. From Emilie's tone of voice, too, it was clear to him that she was Somewhat uneasy as to the turn that such a conversation might take So the professol prolonged his monologue 1n order to give the nerves of the sour tempered bour- geoise time to steady themselves He was not called upon to play his paſt long, for there came another ring at the bell ‘That's papa l' exclaimed Rosalie ; “it must be a quarter to ten She, too, had suffered from her mothel’s show of temper towards Claude and René, and the arrival of her father, which was the signal for departure, SIMPLE SOULS 2 I seemed like a deliverance—to her, too, for whom parting from the Fresneaus was generally an ordeal. But she knew her mother, and felt, by instinct rather than by reasoning, how mean and distasteful the bitterness of her remarks must seem to René There were only too many reasons why he should no longer cale for their company. She therefore 10se as her father entered the room. M. Offarel was a tall, withered-looking man, with one of those pinched faces that irresistibly lemind one of the immoltal type of Don Quixote; an aquilinenose, hollow temples, a harshly drawn mouth, and, to crown all, one of those receding blows the winkles and bumps of which 1epresent so many chimerical fancies and false ideas within. To his 1nnocent mania fol aquare/les he added the 1 idiculous weakness of 1ncessantly talking about his 1maginal y Complaints ‘It’s vely cold to-night,’ were his first words, and, addressing his wife, he added, ‘Adelaide, have you any tincture of 10dine in the house 2 I am sure I shall have my attack of 1heumatism in the morning' ‘Is you cab warmed P’ asked Emilie, turning to Claude. ‘Oh, yes,' replied the writel, pulling out his watch ; ‘and I see that it's time to get into 1t, 1ſ we don't want to be late.” Whilst he was taking leave of the little clicle René disappeared through the door that led from the dining-room to his bedroom without bidding any- One good night. ‘He has probably only gone to get his coat,’ thought Rosalie; ‘he cannot possibly have gone without saying good-bye, especially as he has not looked at me at all to-night.” She went on with her work whilst Flesneau received the sous-chef de bureau with the same questions he had put to his fliend “Just a thumbleful to keep the cold out P’ ‘Only a suspicion,' answeled Oſſarel. ‘That's 11ght,’ 1ejoined the plofessor, ‘you are not like Larcher, who despised my eau-de-ºne.’ 22 A LIVING LIE * Monsieur Larcher l’ observed the other. ‘Don’t you know his usual drink P Why'—he added, in a lower key, and prudently looking towards the passage—‘I read an article in the papel only this evening that shows him up well.’ “Tell us all about it, petit pere, exclaimed Madame Offarel, dropping her work for the first time that evening, and artlessly allowing her 1ancorous feelings to betray themselves as openly as her simple affection for her Cat. ‘It appears,’ said the old man, emphasising his words, ‘that wherever Monsieur Larchel appears, they offel him blood to drink instead of tea or other things.” ‘Blood l’exclaimed Fresneau, taken aback by this astounding statement. “What for P’ “To sustain him, of course,' said Madame Offarel quickly; “didn't you notice his face P What a life he must lead ' ' ‘It also appears, continued Offarel, anxious to gratify that low taste for senseless gossip peculiar to a bourgeons as soon as he gets hold of one of the innumerable calumnies to which well-known men are exposed—‘it appears that he lives surrounded by a court of women who adore him, and that he has discovered an infallible method of making whatever he writes a success. He has a dozen copies of his proofs struck off at once, and takes one to each of the ladies he knows. They spread them out on their knees, and “Mon petit Larcher here, and mon petit Larcher there—you must alter this and you must cut out that.” So he alters this and he cuts out that, and the ladies imagine that they have written his work for him.’ ‘I am not at all surprised,’ said Madame Offarel ; “he looks like a bold deceiver.’ ‘I must confess,' replied Flesneau, ‘that I don’t like his writings much ; but as for being a deceiver—that's another matter. My dear Madame Offarel, I assure you he's a perfect child. How it amuses me when the SIMPLE SOULS 23 newspapers say that he knows women's hearts I've always found him in love with the worst creatures on earth, whom he conscientiously believed to be angels, and who deceive him and fool him as much as they please. René told us the other day that he spends his time in dallying with little Colette Rigaud, who plays in the “Sigisbée”—a false hussy who'll worm his last shilling out of him ' ‘Hush l’ exclaimed Emilie, entering just in time to hear the end of this little speech, and placing her hand on her husband's lips ‘Monsieur Claude 1s a friend of ouis, and I won't have him discussed. My brother desires to be excused for not saying “good night ° to you all, she added, “they hadn't noticed that it was so late, and left in a hurly. And when am I to have that drawing of the last scene in the “Sigisbée ”’ she asked, turning to the sous-chef de óureau. ‘It’s a bad time of year for water-colours,” replied the latter; ‘1t gets dalk So Soon, and we are over- whelmed with work—but you shall have it. Why, what's the matter, Rosalie? You are quite white.’ The poor girl was 1ndeed suffering tortures on finding that René had left her without so much as a look or a word. A great lump rose 1n her throat, and her eyes filled with tears. She had strength enough, however, to 1epress hel Sobs and to 1eply that she was overcome by the heat of the stove Her mother darted a look at Emilie containing such a direct reproach that Madame Fresneau turned away hel eyes involuntarily. She, too, was deeply glieved ; for, although she had always been opposed to this marriage, which was quite Out of keep- 1ng with the ambitious plans she vaguely cherished for her brother, she loved Rosalie. When the mother and her two danghters had put on their bonnets and were at last ready to go, Emilie's feelings led her to embrace Rosalie more affectionately than was her wont. She was quite ready to pity the girl's sufferings, but that pity was not entirely devoid of a sad kind of satisfaction 24. A LIVING LIE at seeing René's manifest indifference, and as the door closed behind her visitors she turned to Françoise with unalloyed joy in her honest brown eyes ‘You will take care not to make any noise in the morning, won't you ?’ “No more than a mouse,' replied the girl. ‘And you too, my big beauty,’ she said to her husband, on entering the dining-1 oom, where the plo- fessor was once more at his exercises. ‘ I have told Constant to get up and dress quietly,’ adding, with a proud smile, ‘what a triumph for René to-night, p1ovided that these grand folks don't turn up their noses at his verse ! But I’m sure they’ll not do that ; his poetry is too good—almost as good as he is himself ’ ‘It is to be hoped that all these fine ladies will not spoil him as you do, exclaimed Flesneau, “for it would end by his losing his head. No, no,' he went on, in order to flatter his wife's feelings, ‘it is a pleasure to see how modest he is, even in success' And Emilie kissed hel husband tenderly for those words. CHAPTER III A LOVER AND A SNOB THE two young men got into the cab and were soon being rapidly driven along the Rue du Cherche-Midi in older to reach the Boulevald du Montparnasse, and so follow, by way of the Invalides, the long line of avenues that crosses the Seine by the Pont de l'Alma and leads almost direct to the Arc de Triomphe At first both remained perfectly silent, René amusing him- self by watching for the well-known landmarks of a neighbourhood in which all the reminiscences of his childhood and youth were centred. The pane of glass A LOVER AND A SNOB 25 through which he gazed was clouded with a thin vapoul, a fitting symbol of the cloud that separated the world he had just left from that which lay before him. Theſe was not an angle in the Rue du Cherche-Midi that was not as familiar to him as the walls of his own room— from the tall dark building of the military prison to the corner of the quiet Rue de Bagneux, where Rosalie dwelt. The remembrance of the charming girl whom he had so unceremoniously quitted that evening passed through his mind, but causcd him no pain The sensa- tion he felt was like di eam1ng with open eyes, so little did the 1ndividual who had trodden these st1eets 1n his diealy and obscure youth 1 esemble the 11ch and cele- brated wi iter now seated next to Claude Larcher Celebrated—for all Pal 1s had flocked to sec his piece, rich—for ‘Le Sigisbée, first performed in September, had alteady blought him in twenty-five thousand francs by February. Nor was this source of 1 evenue likely to be soon exhausted. ‘Le S1gisbée’ had been put into the same bill with ‘Le Jumeau, a three-act comedy by a well-known author that would have a long run The play, too, was selling well 1n book form, and the rights of translation and of 1epresentation in the provinces wele being turned to good account But all this was only a beginning, for René had several othel works in 1eserve—a volume of philosophical poems entitled ‘ On the Heights,' a drama in velse dealing with the Renais- sance, to be called “Savonarola,’ and a half-finished story of deep passion for which the wilter had as yet found no title. As the cab rolled along, the 1ntoxication ploduced by thoughts of past Success, as well as by ambitious plans for the future, was intensified by the excitement of his entering into Society. The feelings of this grown- up child were similar to those of a g111 going to her first ball. He was a prey to a fit of nerves that almost made him feel beside himself. This power of ampli- fying even to fanciful dimensions impressions of utter 26 A LIVING LIE mediocrity in themselves is both the misfortune and happiness of poets. To that power is due those tran- sitions, almost startling in their suddenness, from the heights of optimism to the depths of pessimism, from exultation to despail ; these lend to the 1magination, and Consequently to the disposition and feelings, a continual pendulum-like motion—an instability of terrible portent to the women who become attached to these vacillating Souls. Amongst such Souls, however, there are some in whom this dangerous quality does not exclude true affection. This was the case with René. The 1nvolun- taly compal ISOn between the present and the past SO Suddenly provoked by the familial aspect of the streets brought his thoughts 1 ound to the more experienced filend who had witnessed his rapid change of fortune. In obedience to one of those simple 1mpulses which form such a chal ming trait 1n the young—affolding as they do a beautiful but 1a1e example of the Invincible bond between the 1nnel and the outer man—he grasped the hand of his silent companion, saying ‘How kind you have been to me !’. . . And seeing Claude's eyes turned upon him in some astonishment, he continued: “If you had not been so encouraging when I made my first attempts I should nevel have brought you “Le Sigisbée,” and 1ſ you had not recommended it to Mademoiselle Rigaud 1t would now be mouldering on Some manager's shelf. If you had not spoken to the Comtesse Komof my piece would not be performed at her house, and I should not be going theie this evening. I am happy, vely happy, and I owe it all to you ! Ah! non amzi, you may think me as silly as a school- boy, but you cannot 1magine how often I have dieamt of that world 1nto which you are now taking me, where the mere dresses of the women ale poems, and where joy and grief are set in exquisite flames l’ ‘Would that these women had souls of the same stuff as their dresses ' exclaimed Claude with a smile. “But you surprise me,’ he went on ; “do you think that A LOVER AND A SNOB 27 you will be in Society because you are received by Madame Komof, a foreign countess who keeps open house, or by any of the lion-hunters whom you will meet there, and who will tell you that they are at home every afternoon P You will go out a good deal, 1ſ you like that kind of thing, but you will be no more 1n Society than I or any other artist or even genius, Simply because you were not born 1n it, and because your family is not 1n it. You will be received and made much of. But try to marry into one of these families and you will see what they will tell you. And a good thing for you, too. Good heavens ! If you only knew these women whom you pictule to yourself as being so refined, so elegant, so aristocratic | Mere bundles of vanity, dressed by Worth of Laferrière . . . Why, there are not ten in the whole of Paris capable of true feeling The most honest are those who take a lover because they like him. Were you to dissect them, you would find in place of a healt a di essmaker's bill, half-a-dozen prejudices which serve as principles, and a mad desire to eclipse some other woman. What fools we are to be here in this vehicle—two fairly sensible men with work to do at home—you all of a tremble at the idea of mixing with So-called grandes dames, and I . . . . ' ‘What has Colette been doing to-day ?' asked René quietly, a little put out by the aspei1ty of his fliend's words, though not laying much weight upon arguments applied with such evident rancour. These ful 10us out- bursts were nearly always caused, as he knew, by Some coquetry on the part of the actress with whom Claude was madly in love, and who delighted in fooling him, though loving him in her way. It was one of those attachments, based on hatred and sensuality, which both torture and degrade the heart, and which transform their victim into a wild beast, one of the features peculiar to this sort of passion being the frequency with which it is liable to suffer crises as sharp and violent as the physical ideas on which it feeds, 28 A LIVING LIE The image of his mistress had probably flashed across Claude's brain, and the happy frame of mind called forth by his last visit had 1mmediately yielded to Sudden 1age—lage which he would have satisfied at that moment by no matter what outrageous paradox. He fell headlong into the ti ap laid for him by his friend, and, grasping the arm of the latter tightly, he said with a sickly laugh : ‘What has she been doing to-day P . . . Are you anxious to know the depth of this keen analyst of women's hearts, this subtle psychologist as the papers call me, this unmitigated ass as I call myself? Alas ! my wits have never served for aught else than to convince me of my folly! . . Have I told you,” he added, dropping his voice, ‘that I have grown to be jealous of Salvaney 2 . . . I ſorgot, you don't know Salvaney—an up-to-date gallant who goes about his love affairs cheque-book 1n hand ' . . . With a nose like a beetroot, a bald pate, eyes staiting from their sockets, and a colour like a drover ! . . . But theſe you are—he is an anglomane, anglomane to such an extent that the P1ince of Wales is a Frenchman by the side of him. . . . Last year he spent three months in Florence, and I myself heard him boast that in those three months he had never woln a shirt that had not been washed in London. You must take my wold for it that in Society, which has such a fascination for you, one fact like that gives a man more prestige than 1ſ he had written the “Nabab" of “L’Assommoil.” Well ! this individual pleases Colette. He is to be found in hel dressing-1 oom as often as I am, and gazes at hel with his whisky-d1 inker's eyes. It was he who introduced the custom of going to a bar filled with jockeys and bookmake1s, 1n order to sip most abominable spil 1ts after the Opera ; I will take you theie some evening, and you will see the beauty for yourself. . . . Colette lets him take her even there, and goes about everywhere with him in a blougham . . . “Get out !” she says, “you ale not going to be jealous of a man like that, are you ? He Smells of gin, to begin A LOVER AND A SNOB 29 with.” . . . Such women will tell youthese things without any ado, and pull to pieces in the most shameless manner their lovers of yestel day. . . . To cut a long story short, I was at her house this morning. Yes, yes—I knew all about these things, but I didn't believe them. A fellow like Salvaney ! If you were to see him you would understand how inci edible 1: seems, and as for hel-–well, you know her with that soft look 1n her eyes, with her mouth d la Bottº.cc//z and her exquisite grace What a pity it seems | Well, I was with her when the servant, a flesh 1mportation, who didn't know her business, brought a letter 1n, saying, “It’s from Monsieur Salvaney —his man is waiting for an answer.” In one of her fits of affection Colette had just sworn to me that nothing, absolutely nothing, not even the shadow of a shade of a flirtation had ever passed between them. As she held the letter in hel hand I was foolish enough to think, “She is going to show me the letter, and I shall have written proofs that she has not told me a lie—and p1oof positive, for Salvaney could not have known that I should see this letter.” She held the lettel in her hand, and, looking at me, said to the girl, “Very well, I'll answer it at once You will excuse me, won't you ?” she added, passing into the othel 1 Oom-with her lettel ! I suppose you think I took my hat and stick and left the house for good with an oath on my lips ? No, I stayed, 1ſton cher aſſai. She came back, rang the bell, gave the servant a note, and then, coming towards me, said, “Are you angry 2” Silence on my palt. “Did you want to 1ead that letter 2 ” I was still silent. “No, you sha’n’t read it,” she continucd, with a pretty little frown ; “I have bulnt it He only asked for the pattern of some stuff for a fancy dress; but I want you to believe me on my bare wold.” All this was said as coolly as possible, I have never seen her act bettel Don't ask me what I said in 1eply. I treated her as the vilest thing on ealth I flung into her teeth all the disgust, hatred, and contempt I felt for her ; and then, as she sat theſe 3O A LIVING LIE sobbing, I took her in my arms, and on the very spot where she had lied to me, and I had treated her like the common thing she was, we kissed and made it up. Do you think I have fallen low enough 2' “But were your suspicions correct?’ asked René. ‘Were they correct 2' re-echoed Claude, with that accent of cruel triumph affected by jealous lovers when their mad desire to know all has ended in proving their worst suspicions up to the hilt. “Do you know what Salvaney's note contained P An appointment—and Colette's reply confirmed the appointment. I know this, for I had her followed. Yes, I stooped even to that. He met her coming from rehearsal, and they were together until eight o'clock.’ ‘And haven't you broken with her?’ asked Vincy. ‘It’s all over, replied Claude, ‘and for good, I promise you. But I must tell her what I think of her, just for the last time. The wietch You'll see how I'll treat her to-night’ In telling his sad tale Claude had betrayed such intense grief that René's folmer feelings of joy were quite disturbed. Pity for the man to whom he was deeply attached by bonds of gratitude was mingled with disgust for Colette's shameless duplicity. For a moment he felt, too, some deep-lying remorse as he conjured up by way of contrast the pure soul that shone in Rosalie's honest eyes. But it was only a passing fancy, quickly dispelled by the sudden change 1n his companion. This demon of a man, who was one bundle of nerves, possessed the gift of changing his ideas and feelings with a rapidity that was perfectly inexplicable. He had just been speaking in despairing accents and in a voice b1 oken with emotion, which his ſriend knew to be since1e. Snapping his fingers as if to get rid of his trouble, he muttered, ‘Come, come,’ and immediately brought the conversation round to litera1y topics, so that the two writers were discussing the last novel when the sudden stoppage of the vehicle as it fell A LOVER AND A SNOB 31 in behind a long line of others told them that they had arrived. René's heart began to beat afresh with short, con- vulsive throbs, The cab stopped before a doorway pro- tected by an awning, and again the dreamlike feeling came over the young man on finding himself in the ante- room which he had already once passed through. There were several liveried footmen in the room, which was filled with flowers and heated by invisible pipes The coats and cloaks arranged on long tables and the hum of conversation that came from the salons made it evident that most of the guests had a rived. In the ante-room there was only one lady, whom an attendant was just helping off with her fur-lined cloak, from which she emerged 1n an elegantly fitting low-necked dress of red material She had a very distinguishcq face, a nose slightly tipped, and lips that denoted spirituality. A few diamonds sparkled amidst the tresses of her fair silken hair. René saw Claude bow to her, and he felt himself grow pale as her eyes rested indifferently upon him—eyes of light blue set off by that complexion, found in blondes, which, in spite of the hackneyed meta- phor, can only be described as that of a blush rose, possessing as it does all the freshness and delicacy of the latter. ‘That's Madame Moraines,’ said Claude, ‘the daughter of Victor Bois-Dauffin, a Minister during the Empire.’ These words, spoken as if in reply to a mute question, were to come back to René more than once. Mole than once was he to ask himself what strange fate had brought him face to face, almost on the threshold of this house, with the one woman who, of all those assembled 1n these salons, was to exercise most influence upon him. But at the moment itself he felt none of those presentiments which sometimes seize us on meeting a creature who is to bling us either good or evil. The vision of this beautiful woman of thirty, who had already disappeared 32 A LIVING LIE whilst Claude and he were waiting for the numbers of their coats, became lost in the confused impression created by the novelty of everything alound him. Though it was impossible for him to analyse his feelings, the 11chncss of the carpets, the splendidly decorated vestibule, the lofty halls, the lively of the footmen, the 1eflection of the lights, all went a long way towards making this implession a strange medlcy of painful timidity and delightful sensuality On the occasion of his filst visit he had already felt himself enveloped by those thousand indescl Ibable atoms that float In the atmosphele of luxuly IPersons born in opulence no mole perceive these infinitely small but subtle tº 1ſles than we perceive the weight of the air that surrounds us We cannot feel what we have always felt No do parvcnus ever tell us their 1mpressions. Their instinct teaches them to swallow such feelings and to keep them hidden in their hearts Apart fiom all this, René had no time to 1.eflect upon the snobbishness of the feeling that filled him. The doors were swung back, and he chteled the filst salon, ful nished in that sumptuous but steleotyped style peculiar to all the big modern houses in Palis. Whoevel has seen one has scen them all. A novice like René, howevel, would dis- covci signs of the pulcst al 1stocracy in the smallest details of this ful niturc, in the antique matel 1als with which the arm-chairs wele upholstered, and 1n the tapestry that hung Ovel the chimncy-picce and 1epre- sented a Triumph of Bacchus. The first saloſa, of middling dimensions, communicated by folding doors with another much larger, 1m which all the guests wele evidently assembled, Judging by the hum of conversa- tion René's perceptive faculties being in that state of 1ntense excitement frequently caused by extreme shyness, he was able to take in the whole scene at a glance; he saw Madame Molaines in hel 1ed diess dis- appear through the open folding doors, and the Comtesse Komof talking, with violent and extſ avagantgesticulation, A LOVER AND A SNOT3 33 to a group of people before the chimney-piece of the smaller salon. The Comtesse was a tall woman of almost tragic appearance; she had shoulders too narrow for the rest of her body, white hail, rather harsh features, and grey eyes of piercing brilliancy The sombre hue of her dress enhanced the magnificence of the jewels with which she was covered, and her hands, as she waved them about, displayed a wealth of enol mous Sapphires, emeralds, and diamonds. Acknowledging with a smile the bow that Claude and René made her, she continued her account of a séance of spiritualism—a favourite hobby of hers. ‘The table went up, up, up,' she said, ‘until our hands could scarcely follow 16. The candles were blown out by 1nvisible lips, and 1n the darkness I saw a hand pass up and down—an immense hand—it was that of Peter the Gleat l’ The muscles of her face grew rigid as she spoke, and her eyes became fixed as 1f on a teri ible apparition Traces of that brutish and almost half-wittcq cleatule of instinct that Jul ks even in the most refined Russian appeared for a few seconds upon the surface Then the Society woman suddenly 1 emembered that she had to perform the honours of her house, and the Smile came back to her lips and the gleam in hel eyes grew softer. Was it that Intuition peculiar to elderly women which gives them such a soothing influence over men of irritable nerves that revealed to hel how solitary René felt in the midst of these clowded salons, where he knew not a soul ? As soon as hel Stoly was ended she was good enough to turn to him with a smile and Say “Do you believe in spirits, Monsieur Vincy P. Of coulse you do—you ate a poet. But we'll talk of that some other day You must come with me now, in spite of the fact that I’m neithel young nor pietty, and be plesented to some of my fliends, who ale alleady passionate admirers of youis’ She had taken the young man's alm, and, although D 34 A LIVING I_IE he was above the middle height, she was taller than he by half a head. Her tragic expression was not decep- tive. She had 1eally lived through what the strange look in her eyes and the determined set of her featules led one to imagine. Her husband had been muldered almost at her feet, and she herself had killed the assassin. René had heard the story from Claude, and he could see the scene before him—the Comte Komof, a distinguished diplomat, stabbed to the heart by a Nihilist in his study ; the Comtesse entering at the moment and bringing down the murderer by a well-directed shot. While the young man reflected that those tapering fingers, resplendent with rings as they lay on his coat sleeve, had clutched the pistol, his partner had already commenced some flesh story with that savage energy of expression that in people of Slavonic 1 ace is not incompatible with the most 1efined and elegant manners ‘It was on my arrival in Pal is about eight years ago, just after the war. I had not becn here since the first Exhibition, in 1855 Ah my dear sil, the Paris of those days was 1eally chal ming . . . and youl Emperor . . . Ždeſa/’ She had a way of dwelling on her last syllables when she wished to express her enthusiasm. “My daughter, the P11ncess Roudine, was with me—I don't think you know hel ; she lives in Florence all the year round. She was taken 111, but Doctor Louvet—you know, the little man who looks like a miniatute edition of Henri III —got her over it. I always call him Louvetsky, because he only attends Russians. I could not think of taking her away from Palis, so this house being for sale, ready furnished, I bought it. But I’ve turned everything upside down. Look hele, this used to be the garden, she added, showing René the larger salom, which they had just entered. This salon was a vast apartment, whose walls were hung with canvases of all sizes and Schools, picked up by the Comtesse in the course of her European ram- A LOVER AND A SNOB 35 bles. Though René had been strongly impressed from the first by the general air of material well-being every- where apparent, this feeling was intensified by the spiritual luxuly, if one may use such a term, which such cosmopolitanism represents. The way in which the Comtesse had mentioned Florence, as 1ſ it were a suburb of Paris, the resources indicated by the Improve- ments effected in the mansion, the fluency with which this grand Russian lady spoke French—how could a young man accustomed to the limited horizon of a struggling family of modest bourgeois fail to be struck with childlike wondel at the sight of a world such as these details suggested 2 His cycs opened wide to take in the whole of the charming scene before him. At the end of the salon heavy, dalk 1ed curtains hung across the usual entrance to the dining-room, which apartment, approached by three broad stairs, had been turned for the nonce 1nto a stage. In the centre of the hall stood a marble column surmounted by a bust in bronze of the famous Nicolas Komof, the friend of Peter the Gleat—this ancestral kind of monument being Sul rounded by a group of gigantic palms in huge pots of Indian b1ass ware, whilst lines of challs were drawn up between the column and the stage. By this time nearly all the ladies were seated, and the lights shone down upon a living Sea of snowy arms and shoulders, some too robust, othels too lean, others again mostcºguisitely moulded; jewels sparkled intresses fair and dark, the fluttel of fans tempered the glances that shot flom eloquent eyes, whilst words and laughter became blended in one loud, haſ monious murmur. In the ladies' dresses, too, lay a wonderful play of colour, and one side of the salon presented a striking contlast to the other, where the men, in their swallow-tails, formed a Solid mass of black. A few women, however, had found their way amongst the stel nel sex, while here and there a dalk patch amidst the seated fair ones betrayed the presence of a male interloper. The whole of the D 2 36 A LIVING I, IE company, although somewhat mixed, was composed of people accustomed to meet daily, and for years, in places that scive as common glound for different sets of Society Thele were blue-blooded duchesses fiom the Faubourg Saint-Germain, whose Sporting tastes and charity el rands took them to all kinds of places Theſe were also the wives of big financiels and politicians, 1eprescriting every degree of Cosmopolitan elegance, and there were even the wives of plain artists, following up their husbands' succCSSCs through a string of fashion- able dinnels and 1cceptions But to a new-comer like René Vincy the social dis- tinctions that bloke up the salom into a series of vely dissimilar groups wel e utterly 1mperceptible. The spectacle upon which he gazed Sul passed, in outwald magnificence, his wildcst dreams. Amidst a hum of voices he allowed himself to be plesented to some of the men as they passed, and to a few of the women seatcq on the back row of challs, bowing and stammer- 1ng out a few wolds 1n reply to the compliments with which the more amiable ones favoured him. Madame Komof, perceiving his timidity, was kind enough not to leave him, especially since Claude, a pley to some ſiesh fit of his amolous passion, had disappeal cd He had probably gone behind the scenes, and when the signal fol raising the cultan was given the poet found himself scated beside the Comtesse in the shadow of the palms that surrounded the ancCŞtial bust, happy that he was in a place where he could escape notice. C II A P T E R IV TIIE ‘SIGISBEE TWO footmen in lively drew back the curtains from before the miniatuſe stage. The scene bc1ng laid “In a garden, in Venice, nothing had been required in the THE • SIGISBEE 37 way of scenery beyond a piece of cloth stretched across the back of the stage and a bank formed of plants selected from the hostess's famous conservatory With the somewhat crude appearance of their foliage under the glale of the light these exotic shrubs made a setting very different to that which M Perrin had arranged with so much taste at the Comédie Fiançaise That model of a manager, 1ſ ever the e was one, had hit upon the happy idea of placing before his audience one of the terraces on the lagoon that lead by a flight of marble steps down to the lapping waters, with the variegated façades of the palaces standing out against the blue sky and the black gondolas ſlitting round the cornels of the tortuous canals The change from the usual Scenery, the diminutive stage, the limited and cminently Select audience, all contributed to 1ncrease René's feeling of uneasiness, and he again felt his heart beating as wildly as on the night of the first performance at the theatre The appearance of Colette Rigaud, dressed d la Watteau, was the Signal ſo a bulst of applause, which the actless smilingly acknowledged. Even 1n her gay attire, copied fi Om one of the great paintel's /ētes galantes, and 1n spite of hel powdered hair, hel patch, and her pale cheeks bedaubed with paint, there was a tone of sadness about hel—something 1n the dieamy look of the eyes and the melancholy expression on the sensual lips that reminded one of Botticelli's madonnas and angels How many times had not René heard Claude sigh “When she has been telling me lies, and then looks at me in hel own peculial way, I begin to pity her instead of getting angly.” Colette had alieady attacked the first lines of her part and René's anguish was at its highest pitch, while all around he heard the loud 1emalks which even well- bred people will make when an artiste appears on a diawing-room stage. “She's vely pretty. Do you think 1t's the same dress she wears at the theatre P She's a little too thin for my taste. What a sympa- 38 A LIVING LIE thetic voice " No, she imitates Sarah Bernhardt too much. I’m in love with the piece, aren't you ? To tell you the truth, poetry always sends me to sleep.’ The poet's sharp eats caught all these exclamations and many more. They were, however, soon silenced by a loud ‘hush ' ' that came from a knot of young men standing near René, Conspicuous among them being a bald-headed 1ndividual with 1ather a piominent nose and a very 1ed face. The Comtesse thanked him with a wave of her hand, and, turning to her partnel, said : ‘That's M. Salvaney ; he is madly in love with Colette.” Silence was re- established, a silence broken only by the 1ustle of dresses and the unfurling of fans René now listened 1n delightful intoxication to the music of his own verses, for by the silence as well as by the murmus of approval that were Occasionally heard he felt, he knew, that his work was as Sutely captivating this select audience as 16 had captivated the ‘house' on its first night at the Théâtre Français, then filled with tiled critics, worn out 1 epoltels, scoffing boulevardiers, and smart women. Gladually his thoughts took him back, in spite of himself, to the pellod when he had filst thought out and then written the little play which was that night procuring him such a new and delightful thrill of gratification, after having SO completely changed the tenor of his life. He saw himself once mole in the Luxemburg garden at the close of a bright spring day; the charm of the deepening twilight, the smell of the flowers, the dark blue sky seen through the spale foliage, and the marble statues of the queens---all these things had deeply impressed him as he walked with Rosalie, silent, by his side. She had such a simple way of look- ing up at him with her great black eyes, in which he could lead unconscious though tender passion. It was on that evening that he had first spoken to her of love, there, amidst the scent of the early lilac, whilst the voices of Madame Offalel and Emilie could THE • SIGISBEE 39 be heard, indistinctly, in the distance. He had returned to the Rue Coetlogon a prey to that fever of hope which brings tears to one's eyes and moves one's nature to its in most depths. Finding it impossible to sleep, he had sat there alone in his room and drawn a comparison between Rosalie and the object of an earlier but less innocent attachment—a girl named Elise, living in the Quartier Latin. He had met her in a brasserze, where he had been taken by the only two comrades he possessed. Faded as she was, Elise could still boast of good looks, in spite of the black under her eyes, the powder all over her face, and the carmine on her lips. She had taken a fancy to him, and although she shocked him dreadfully by her gestures and her mode of thought, by her voice and her expressions, he had continued the acquaintance- ship for about Six months—six months that had left him nothing but a bitter memory. Being one of those in whom passion leads to affection, he had become attached to the girl in spite of himself, and he had suffered cruelly from her coquetry, the coarseness of her feelings, and the stock of moral infamy that formed the groundwork of the poor creatule's nature Seated at his writing-table that night, and dreaming ecstatically of Rosalie's purity, he had conceived the idea of a poem in which he should draw a contrast between a coquette and a true, tender-hearted girl. Then, being an ardent admirer of Shakespeare and de Musset, his vulgar love affair with Elise underwent a strange metamorphosis and became an Italian romance. Thele and then he made a 10ugh sketch of the “Sigisbée,’ and composed fifty lines. It was the simple story of a young Venetian noble, named Lorenzo, who had fallen in love with Princess Coelia, a cold and cluel coquette. The unhappy Swain, after wasting much time and many tears in wooing this unlelenting beauty, was advised by a young Maiquis de Sénece, a French roué on a visit to Venice, to affect an interest in the sweet and pretty Countess Beatrice in order to awaken Coelia's jealousy. 4O A LIVING LIE He then discovered that the Countess had long loved him, and when Coelia, caught in the trap, tried to lead him back, Lorenzo, profiting by experience, said the perfidious lady nay, and gave himself up entirely to the charms of her who loved him without guile. Colette, as Coelia, was speaking while Lorenzo sat lamenting. The roué was cynical and Beatrice lost in dreams. These chal acters, Coming straight from the world of Benedict and Perdican, of Rosalind and Fortunio, strutted on and off, enveloped 1n a ray of poetry as sweet and light as a moonbcam. As René heard the fiequent exclamations of “Charming !” or ‘Exquisite l’ that escaped fiom the clowd of women before him he recalled the nights of wakefulness that this or that passage had cost him. There were these pathetic lines, fol instance, written by Lorenzo to Coelia, and afterwards shown by the lattel to Beatrice. How sweet Colette's voice became, in spite of its mocking note, as she read them out. If kisses for kisses the roses could pay When our lips o'er their petals in ecstasy stray; If the lilacs and tall slender lilies could guess How their sweet perfume fills us with sorrowfulness ; If the motionless sky and the sea nevel still Could know how with Joy at their beauties we thrill ; If all that we love in this strange would below A soul in exchange on Our Souls could bestow. But the sea set around us, the sky set above, Lilacs, loses, and you, Sweet, know nothing of love And as he listened the past returned to René more vividly than ever; he was back in his peaceful room again, and felt once more the Secret pleasure of 11sing each morning to resume his unfinished task. By Claude's advice, and from a childish desire to imitate the ways of genius—a foolish but pretty trait in most young writers—he had adopted the method formerly practised by Balzac. In bed by eight o'clock at night, he would get up before four in the morning, and, lighting the fire and the lamp, would make himself some coffee THE • SIGISBEE 4 I over a little spirit-stove, all prepared for him by his sister in the evening. As the fire burned up brightly and the aloma of the inspiring Mocha filled the little room, he would sit down at the table with Rosalie's por- trait before him and begin work. Gradually the noises of Paris grew more distinct as the great city awakened once more to life. Then he would put down his pen and gaze at the eng1avings that adorned the wall or turn over the leaves of a book. About six o'clock Emilie would make her appearance In spite of her household cares, this loving Sister found time to copy day by day the lines that her brothel had written. For nothing in the world would she have allowed one of René's manusclipts to pass 1nto the hands of the prin- ters Poor Emilie How happy it would have made her to heal the applause that di owned Colette's voice, and what unalloyed plcasule René’s would have been had not the change 1n his feelings with respect to Rosalie sent a pang of sadness through his heart at the very moment when the play was finishrng amidst the enthusiasm of the whole audience. ‘It is a glorious success,’ said the Comtesse to the young author. “You will see how these people will fight for you.’ And as 1ſ to col roborate what might only have been the flattery of a glacious hostess, René could hear, during the hubbub that succeeded the close of the piece, broken sentences that came to him amid the front-front of the diesses, the noise of falling challs, and the commonplaces of conversation. ‘That's the author | Whele P That young man. So young ! Do you know him He's a good-looking fellow. Why does he weal his hair so long? I 1ather like to see 1t—it looks artistic Well, a man may be clevel, and still have his hail cut. But his play is charming. Charming ! Charming ! Who introduced him to the Comtesse P Claude Larcher. Poor Larcher! Look at him hanging 10und Colette. He and Salvaney will come to blows one of these days. So much the 42 A LIVING LIE better ; it will cool their blood. Are you going to stay to supper P’ These were a few of the snatches of conversation that 1eached the author's sensitive eals as he bowed and blushed under the weight of the compliments showered upon him by a woman who had carricq him away from Madame Komof almost by force. She was a long, lean cleature of about fifty, the widow of a M. de Sermoises, who, since his death, had been p1 omoted to “my poor Sermoſses,' aftel having been, while alive, the laughing- stock of the clubs on account of his fail partner's behaviouſ. The lady, as she grew older, had transferred hel attention ſi Om men to literatule, but to literature of a serious and even devotional kind She had heald from the Comtesse 1n a vague SO1t of way that the author of the ‘Sigisbée’ was the nephew of a pliest, and the air of 1 Omance that pelvaded the little play gave her reason to think that the young wittel had nothing in common with the literatule of the day, the tendencies of which she held in v11tuous execiation. Turning to René with the exaggerated tone of pomposity adopted by hel in giving uttelance to her pool, pludish ideas—a judge passing sentence of death could scarcely be mole severe—she said . “Ah, monsieur ! what poetry | What divine glace It is Watteau on paper. And what sen- timent This piece 1s epoch-making, Sir—yes, epoch- making. We women ale avenged by you upon those self-styled analysts who seem to write their books with a scalpel in a house of 111-fame.’ ‘Madame, Stammeled the young man, taken off his feet by this astonishing phraseology. ‘You will come and see me, won't you ?’ she con- tinued. ‘ I am at home on Wednesdays fiom five, to seven. I think you will picfer the people I receive in my house to those you have met here to-night; the dear Comtesse is a foreigner, you know. Some of the members of the Institut do me the honour of consulting me about their works. I have written a few poems THE • SIGISBEE 43 myself. Oh ! quite unpretentious things—lines to the memory of poor Monsieur de Sermoises—a small collec- tion that I have called “Lilies fiom the Grave” You must give me your candid opinion upon them. Madame Hulault—Monsieur Vincy, she added, presenting the writeſ to a woman of about forty, whose face and figure were still elegant in outline. “Charming, wasn’t it 2 Watteau on papel !’ ‘You must be very fond of Alſied de Musset, sir, remaiked this lady. She was the wife of a Society man who, undel the pseudonym of Flolac, had wi itten Several plays that had fallen flat in spite of the until ing energy of Madame Huault, who, for the past sixteen years, had not given a single dinner at which some Clitic, Some manager, O1 Some person Connected with Some c11tic or manager had not been present. ‘Who is not fond of him at my age 2' 1cplied the young man. ‘That is what I said to myself as I listened to your pretty verse,' continued Madame Huault; “it produced the same effect as music alieady heard.’ Then, having launched her epiglam, she 1emembered that in many a young poet there lurks a future c11tic, and tried to Smooth down by an invitation the phlase that betrayed the cruel envy of a 1 ival's wife. “I hope you will come and see us ; my husband is not here, but he will be glad to make your acquaintance. I am always at home on Thursdays from five till seven.’ ‘Madame Ethorel—Monsieur Vincy,” said Madame de Sermoises, again int1 oducing René, but this time to a very young and vely pretty woman—a pale blunette, with large dreamy eyes and a delicacy of complexion that contrasted with her full, 11ch voice. “Ah monsieur, she began, ‘how you appeal to the heart | I love that sonnet which Lorenzo recites—let me see, how does it go 2– The spectre of a year long dead.” ‘“The phantom of a day long dead,”’ said René, 44 i A LIVING LIE 1nvoluntalily correcting the line which the pretty lips had misquoted ; and with unconscious pedantly he repressed a smile, for the passage in question, two verses of five lines each, presented not the slightest resemblance to a SOnnet. ‘That's it, rejoined Madame Ethorel ; ‘divine, sir, divine ! I am at home on Saturdays fiom five till Seven. A vely small set, I assure you, 1ſ you will do me the honout of calling.’ René had no time to thank hel, for Madame de Sermoises, a pley to that Strange form of vanity that delights in 1Cflected glory, and which 1nspires both men and women with an 111esistible desile to constitute themselves the showman of any interesting personage, was already dragging him away to fresh int1 Oductions. In this way he had to bow first to Madame Abel Mosé, the celebrated Israelitish beauty, all in white, then to Madame de Suave all in pink, and to Madame Belnaud all in blue. Then Madame de Komof once mole took possession of him in older to plesent him to the Com- tesse de Candale, the haughty descendant of the terrible mal shal of the fifteenth century, and to hel sister the Duchesse d'Arcole, these high-Sounding French names being succeeded by others impossible to catch, and belonging to some of the hostess's 1elatives. René was also called upon to shake hands with the men who were in attendance on these ladies, and thus made the acquaintance of the Marquis de Hèle, the most ca1eful man in town, who with an income of twenty thousand francs lived as though he had fifty , of the V1comte de Brèves, doing his best to ruin himself for the third time, of Crucé, the collectol ; of San Giobbe, the famous Italian shot, and of three or foul Russians. The names of most of these Society women and clubmen were familiar to the poet from his having 1ead them, with childish avidity, in the fashionable intelli- gence published by the newspapers for the cqification of young bourgeous dreaming of high life. He had THE • SIGISBEE' 45 formed such gland and entirely false notions of the ‘upper ten of Paris–-a little world of wealthy cosmo- politans rather than French aristocrats—that a feeling of both rapture and disenchantment came ovel him at the realisation of one of his earliest dreams The splendour of his surroundings chal med him, and his success soothed his professional vanity. There were smiles for him on Such tempting lips and kind looks in such glorious eyes. But though all this was very flattering, it overwhelmed him with a sense of shyness, and, whilst the crowd of St. ange faces struck a kind of terror into his soul, the commonplace praise destroyed his 1llusions. What makes Society—of whatever class 1t be —utterly insupportable to many artists 1s the fact that they appear 1m 1t on rare Occasions only, in order to be lionised, and that they expect something extraordinary, whilst those who 1 cally belong to Society move in the atmosphele of a diawing-1 Oom with the natural ease that accompanies a daily habit. The 1ndescribable feeling of disenchantment, the daze of excitement plo- duced by endless introductions, the intoxication of flattely and the anguish of timidity all made René eager to find his fi ſend. Claude had disappeal cq, but the poet's eyes fell upon Colette, who, having corne down from the stage in hel b11ght-coloured diess of the last century and her powdered hail, follmed a striking con- trast in colour to the black coats of the men by whom she was surrounded. She, too, was evidently em- bal rassed—a feeling betlayed by her somewhat nervous smile, by the look of defiance in her eyes, and the 1apid opening and shutting of her fan. With her 1t was the embariassment of an actress Suddenly transported beyond hel sphere, proud of, and yet distressed by, the attentions she commands. She met René with a smile that showed real pleasure in finding one of her own set, and bleaking off hel con- versation with the owner of a tell a-cotta complexion, who could be no other than Claude's 1ival, Salvaney, she clied, 46 A LIVING LIE ‘Ah! here is my authol —Well, she added, shaking hands with the poet, ‘ I suppose you are quite satisfied ? How well everything has gone off! Come, Salvaney, compliment Monsieur Vincy, even if you don’t understand anything about 16. And your friend Larcher, she went on, ‘has he disappealed 2 Tell him for me that he nearly made me die of laughing on the stage. He was wearing a love-lock and his weeping-willow ail. For whom was he acting his Antony P’ A cluel look came into her greenish eyes, and in the curl of her lips there was an expression of hatred called forth by the fact that the unhappy Claude had gone without bidding her good night. Though she deceived and to tured him, she loved him in her way, and loved above all to bling him to her feet. She experienced a keen delight in making a fool of him before Salvaney, and in thinking that the Simple René would lepeat all her words to his friend. ‘Why do you say such things ’’ replied the young man in an undertone while Colette's partner was shaking hands with a fi 1end , ‘you know very well that he loves ou.’ ‘I know all about that,' said the acticss with a harsh laugh. “You Swallow all he tells you—I know the story. I am his evil genius, his fatal woman, his Delilah. I have quite a heap of lettels in which he treats me to a lot of that kind of thing. That does not prevent him ſi Om getting as drunk as a loid, under pretence of escaping fi Om me. I suppose it's my fault, too, that he gambles and diinks and uses molphia P Get out !” And, Shlugging hel pietty shoulders, she added mole gaily ‘The Comtesse is making signs for us to go down to Suppel. . . . Salvaney, you alm l’ The numerous introductions had taken up some time, and René, suddenly called back to his surroundings by Colette's last wolds, saw that theſe were but very few people left in the salons. The Comtesse had not invited more than about thirty to stay, and gave the signal THE • SIGISBEE ' 47 for adjourning to the Supper-room by taking the arm of the most illustrious of her guests, an ambassador then much run after in fashionable circles. The other couples marched off behind her, mounting a narrow stail case adorned with some marvellous wood-carving brought fiom Italy. This led to an apartment which, though furnished as a boudoir, was really a salon in size. In the centle was a long table, laden with flowers, and fruit, and sparkling with crystal and silver. Near each plate stood a small pink glow-lamp encircled with moss—an English novelty that called forth the admiration of the guests as they sat down wherevel they chose. René, having in his bashful way gone up alone among the last, chose an empty seat between the Vicomte de B1éves and the fair woman in 1ed whom Larcher and he had met in the ante 1 oom, and whom Claude had spoken of as Madame Moraines, the daughter of the famous Bois-Dauffin, one of the most unpopular ministers of Napoleon III. Feeling quite unobserved where he was, for Madame Moraines was carrying on a conversation with hel neighbour on the left whilst the Vicomte de Brèves was busily engaged with his paltner on the right, René was at length able to collect his thoughts and to take a look at the guests, behind whom the Selvants were continually passing to and fro as they attended to their wants. His glance wandeled from Colette, who was laughing and flirting with Salvaney, to Madame Komof, no doubt telling some fiesh tale of her spirit experiences, for her eycs had 1esumed their piercing b1 illiancy, her looks were agitated, and her long bejewelled hands trembled as she sat oblivious of all around hel table—she generally So attentive and so eager to please hel guests | René's feeling of solitude had now become almost painful in its intensity, either because the varied sensations undergone that evening had tried his nerves or because the Sudden transition fiom flattery to neglect appealed to him a 48 A LIVING LIE symbol of the Worthlessness of the world's applause, Some of the .*.*.*:::::::::::Hº. praise were gone ; the others had naturally chosen seats near their own friends At the other end of the table he could sce himself 1 cflected in the actor who had taken the part of Lorenzo, the only one of the players besides Colctte who had stayed to supper, and who, looking vely stiff and awkwald in his golgeous attire, was doing Justice to the v1ands without exchanging a wold with anyone. In this frame of mind René began to look at his fail ncighboul, whose chal ms had made such an impression upon him duling their momentaly encountel in the hall. He had not becn mistaken 1n judging hel at the first glance as a creature of thol Oughly aſ 1stocratic appeal - ance. Everything about her, fiom her delicately-cut featules to her slim waist and slendel wiists, had an all of distinction and of almost excessive glace. Her hands seemed fragile, SO dainty were her fingers and so transpalent The fault of such kind of beauty lies 1n the very qualities that constitute its charm. Its exceed- 1ng daintiness is ficquently too pionounced, and what might 1eally be graceful becomes peculiar. Closer study of Madame Molaines showed that this ethereal beauty encased a being of strength, and that beneath all this exquisite grace was hidden a woman who lived well, and whose sound health was 1evealed 1n many ways Her shapely head was glaceſully poſsed on a full neck, while hel well-rounded shoulders were not disfiguled by a single angle When she smiled she showed a set of Sharp white teeth, and the way in which she did honour to the Supper testified that hel digestion had withstood the innumerable dangels with which fashionable women ale beset—from the pressure of col sets to late Suppers, to say nothing of the daily habit of dining Out. He eyes, of a soft, pale blue, would lemind a dreamer of Ophelia and Desdemona, but possessed that perfect, humid setting in which the THE • SIGISBEE 49 physiognomists of yore saw signs of a full enjoyment of life, the freshness of hel eyelids telling of happy slumbers that recruit the whole constitution, whilst her lovely complexion showed her rich blood to be free of any taint of anaemia. To a philosophising physician, the contrast bOtween the almost 1deal chal m of this physiognomy and the evident materialism of this physiology would have ſuinished food for 1 eflections not altogethel reassuring But the young man who was stealing glances at this beauty whilst toying with the morsel of chau/road set before him was a poet—that is to Say, quite the opposite of a physician and a philosopher. Instead of analysing, he was beginning to take a delight in this proximity. He had that evening unwittingly succumbed to a spell of sensuality which was personified, SO to speak, In this captivating woman, around whom theic floated such a subtle and penetiating aroma A faithful disciple of the mastels of Parnassus, he had in his youth possessed a childish mania for perfumcs, and he now Inhaled with delight the 1a1e and 1ntoxicating odour he 1ccognised as white heliotrope, 1emembering how he had once, when a pley to the nostalgia of 1 cfined passions, wi itten a rhymed conceit 1n which the following lines occurled Opoponax then sang, 'neath shades So sweet, The story of those lips that nevel meet Once more, but mole St. Ongly than ever, theſe spiang up within him, the simple wish he had expressed to Claude Lalcher 1n the carſ 1age that cvening—to be loved by a woman like the one whose sweet laughter was that instant ringing in his car. D1 eams—1&le di eams | That houl would pass without his having even exchanged a wold with this dreamlike cleature, as fal fiom him heie as if a thousand miles had lain between them D16 she even know that he existed 2 But Just as he was sadly asking himself this question he felt his heart begin to beat moie quickly. Madame Komof, having by this time recovered from her excite- E 5O A LIVING LIE ment, had no doubt perceived the distress depicted on the young man's face, and fi Om her place at the end of the table said to the Vicomte de B1éves: ‘Will you be good enough to int1 oduce Monsieur Vincy to his neighbour P’ René saw the glol lous blue eyes turn towards him, the fail head bend slightly fol ward, and a sympathetic smile come to those lips which he had just mentally compared to a flower, so fresh, pure, and 1 ed were they. He expected to heal ſlom Madame Molaines one of the commonplace compliments that had exasperated him all the evening, and he was surprised to find that, instead of at once speaking of his play, she simply continued the topic upon which she had been conversing with her neighbour. ‘Monsieul Clucé and I wole talking about the talent displayed by Monsieur Peirin in putting plays on the stage Do you lemenber the scenely of the “Sphinx”?” She spoke in a low, sweet voice that matched her style of beauty, and gave her that additional and in- definable attraction which helps to 1ender a woman's chalms irresistible to those who come under their spell. René felt that this voice was as 1ntoxicating as the scent, which now grew stronger as she turned towards him. He had to make an effort to 1 cply, So keen was the sensation that ovel poweled him. Did Madame Molaines perceive his agitation P Was she flatteled by 1t, as every woman 1s flattered by 1eceiving the homage of unconquerable timidity ? However that might be, she was such an adept 1n the alt of opening a conversation— no easy mattel between a Society belle and a timid admirer—that, before ten minutes wele Ovel, René was talking to her almost confidentially, and explessing his own 1&eas on stage mattels with a Celta1n amount of natural eloquence, growing quite enthusiastic in his praise of the performances at Bayreuth, as described to him by his friends. Madame Moraines sat and listened, putting on that peculiar ail worn by these thoroughbred hypocrites when they are looking at the man they have THE • SIGISBEE' 5 I determined to ensnare. Had anyone told René that this ideal woman cared as much about Wagner or music as about her first ſrock, and that she really enjoyed only light operettas, he would have looked as blank as if the boisterous mirth going on around him had suddenly changed into cries of terror. Colette, who had evidently had just a little more champagne than was good for her, was laughing some- what immodel ately, and the guests were already addressing each othel by familiar appellations; amidst all this noise René heard his neighbour say: “How delightful it is to meet a poet who is 1eally what one expects a poet to be I thought that the species had died out. Do you know,” she added, with a smile that reversed their parts, and turned hel, the grand Society dame, into a person intimidated by the indisputable superiority of another ; “do you know that I was going to ask for an int1 oduction to you just now in the salom P I had enjoyed the “Sigisbée" so much But I said to myself—what is the use 2 And now chance has brought us together. For a man who has just had a ti ſumph,' she continued, with a malicious little Smile, ‘you were not looking very happy.” “Ah! madame,’ he replied ; “if you only knew—’ and in obedience to the iriesistible power this woman already exercised over him, he added : ‘You will think me very ungrateful. I cannot explain to you why, but their compliments seemed to fleeze me.’ ‘The cfole I didn't pay you any,’ she said, adding in a negligent tone, ‘You don't go out much, I suppose P’ ‘You must not make fun of me,’ he replied with that natural grace that constituted his chief chal m ; ‘this is my first appearance 1n Society. Before this evening,' he went on, seeing a look of curiosity come into the woman's eyes, ‘I had only read of 1t 1n novels. I am a real Savage, you see.' “But, she asked, ‘how do you spend your even- ings P’ L 2 52 A LIVING LIE ‘I have worked very hard until lately, he replied ; “I live with my sistel, and I know almost no one.’ ‘Who intloduced you to the Comtesse 2' 1nquired Madame Molalnes ‘One of my fi ſends, whom I dale say you know— Claude Laichel ' “A charming man,’ she said, ‘with only one fault— that of thinking very badly of women. You must not believe all he says,’ She added, again assuming her timid smile ; “he would deplave you. The poor fellow has always had the misfol tune to fall in love with flirts and coquettes, and is foolish enough to think that all women are like them.’ As she uttered these words an expression of intense sadness came 1nto hel cycs. He handsome face betrayed all kinds of emotions, fiom the plide of a woman who feels Outraged by the cluel sayings of a misogynist writer to pity for Claude, and even a kind of modest fear that René might be led into Similal errois— a fear that implied a mute esteem of his chal acter. A silence ensued, during which the young man was surprised to find himself rejoicing in the absence of his friend. It would have been painful to him to listen on his way home to the brutal paradoxes with which Colette's jealous lovel had 1 egaled him during their drive from the Rue Coetlogon to the Rue du Bel- Respiro. He had been right after all 1n Silently plo- testing against Claude's withering tilades, even before he had known a Single one of these Supei 101 creatures, towards whom he felt attracted by an iſ repressible hope of finding, amongst them, the woman he should love for life And he sat the C listening to Madame Moraines as she spoke of Secret troubles often hidden by a life of pleasure, of v11tues concealed undc1 the mask of fivolity, and of works of charity such as wele undel taken by one or other of the friends whom she named. She said all this so simply and So Sweetly that not a single intona- tion betrayed aught but a since1.c love of the good and the THE • SIGISBEE' 53 beautiful, and as the company rose from the table she observed, with a kind of divine modesty at having thus laid bale her 1nmost feelings ‘This is a very strange conversation for a supper ; you must have heard of So many “fives to sevens’ that I hardly dare to ask you to come and see me. But in case you should be passing that way, pray remember that I am always at home before dinner on Opel a days. I should like you to see my husband, who is not here this evening—he wasn't very well He made me come, because the Comtesse had asked us so often—which proves, she added, as she shook hands with René, ‘that one is sometimes 1ewarded for doing one's duty, even though it be a social one.’ CHAPTER V T III DAWN OF LOVE TIIE shock of the novel and varied sensations expel icnced by René Vincy on that eventful evening had been so gleat that 1t was impossible fol him to analyse them as he made his way on foot from the Rue du Bel-Respiro to the Rue Coetlogon. Had Claude not left the house so suddenly, to tuled by the pangs of jealousy, the two friends would have 1eturned together. Whilst walking along the deserted Streets with the silent stats shining above, they would have indulged in one of those confi- dential talks in which, when young, we give full utterance to the foclings inspired by the events of the past few hours. By the mere mention of the name of Madame Moraines, René might then have discovered what a hold on his thoughts had suddenly been secured by this rale specimen of beauty, the living embodiment of all his ideas of aristocracy. Perhaps from Claude, too, he might have gathered a few correct notions concerning the lady, and the difference that existed between a mele fashion- 54 A LIVING LIE able woman like Madame Moraines and a 1eal grande dame; he would then have been spared the dangerous fever of 1magination which, all along his route, conjuled up to his delight visions of Suzanne. He had heald the Com- tesse call her by that pretty name as she gave her a farewell kiss, and he could Sce her again in her long, ful- lined cloak, her shapely head looking quite lost encircled by the deep ermine colla! He could again see the slight inclination of that dainty head in his dilection before she got into the ca111age. He could see her still, as she sat at Suppel, with that look in her glorious eyes, so full of intelligence, and that way she had of moving her lips to utter words, vely simple in themselves, but each of which proved that this woman's soul matched her beauty, Just as her beauty was worthy of her sur- roundings. He was scarcely aware of the length of his journey, covering nearly a third of Palis. He gazed up at the sky above, and down into the Seine waters as they rolled darkly along, while the long lines of gas-lamps before him seemed even to lengthen the dim, fal-reaching perspective of the streets. The night gave him an idea of 1mmensity—a symbol, it seemed to him then, of his own life. The mental formation peculial to poets who are poets only predisposes them to attacks of what, for want of a more definite name, might be called the lyric state; this is something like the intoxication ploduced by hope of despair, according as the power of exaggelating present sensations to the highest degree is applied to joy or sorrow. What, after all * ſº ciety, which for the moment seemed to this simple boy an entry upon a new life? Scal cely a glance stolen through a half-open dool, and which, to be of any use at all, would have to be followed up by a couise of petty strategy that only an ambitious man would have dreamt of. A man eager to make his way would have asked himself what impression he had cleated, what kind of people he had met, which of the women who had invited him were THE DAWN OF LOVE 55 worth a single visit, and which of them deserved more assiduous attentions. Instead of all that, the poet felt himself surounded by ää atmosphere Of happiness. The sweetness-of-the-fatter portion of the evening-spread itself over the whole, and he entirely forgot the ſeelings of distress that had once or twice overwhelmed him. It was 1n this frame of mind that he reached home. As he pushed the heavy house door open, and crept on tip-toe to his 100m, 1t pleased him to compare the world he had left behind with the world to which he returned. Was it not this very contrast that lent his pleasure a tinge of romance 2 Being, however, at that age when the nervous system recruits 1:self with pelfect regularity in spite of the most disol deled state of the mind and feelings, his head had no soonel touched his pillow than he was fast asleep. If he dreamt of the splendout he had seen, of the applause that had filled the vast salon, of the sweet face of Madame Molalnes set 1n a wealth of fair ticsses, he was oblivious of 1t all when he awoke about ten o'clock next morning A ray of Sunlight came streaming through a narrow slit in the blinds. All was quiet in the little street, and there was no noise in the house—nothing to betray the necessaly but exasperating pet formance of matutinal household duties. This silence surplised the young man. He looked at his watch to see how long he had slept, and once mole he experienced that feeling of which he nevel tiled—that of being beloved by his sister with an 11olatious intensity extending to even the smallest details of life. At the same time 1ecollec- tions of the pieceding evening came back to his mind A score of faces lose up before him, all gladually melt- ing away into the delicate featules, mobile lips, and blue eyes of Madame Moraines. He saw hel even more distinctly than he had done a moment aftel leaving hel, but neither the clearness of the vision nor the 1nfinite delight it afforded him to dwell upon it led him to suspect the feelings that were awakening within him. 56 A LIVING LIE It was an altistic implession, nothing more—an embodi- ment, as it wele, of all the most beautiful ideals he had ever read into the lines of romancists and poets Idly 1eclining on his pillow, he enjoyed thinking of her in the same way as he enjoyed looking round his old, familial 1 Oom, with its air of peace and quiet. His gaze dwelt lovingly upon all the objects visible in the sub- dued light—upon his table, put in older by Emilie's hands, upon his eng1avings set off by the dark tone of the 1ed cloth, upon the bindings of his favourite books, upon the marble chimney-piece with 1ts row of photo- graphs 1n leather frames His mother's poſt1ait was among them—the poor mother who had died before Seeing the realisation of her most ardent hopes, she once SO proud of the few scattered fragments she had occasion- ally come across in tidying her son's 10om H19 father's likeness was theie too, with 1ts cmaciated, drink-sodden foatules. Often did René think that the want of will power, of which he was dimly conscious, had been trans- mitted to him by his unhappy palent. But that morn- ing he was not in the humour to reflect upon the dalk Side of life, and it was with childish glee that he gave two or three smart raps on the bedside This was his mannel of summoning Françoise in the morning to pull up the blinds and open the shutters. Instead of the servant 1t was Emilie that entered, and as soon as the sunlight was let 1nto the 1 oom 11 was on his sister's face with 1ts loving Smile that the young man gazed—a face now beaming with hopeful curiosity “A triumph l’ he cried, in reply to Emilie's mute intel rogation. The kind-healted creature clapped her hands for joy, and sitting down on a low chair at the foot of the bedstead, said, in the tone that we use to a spoilt child : ‘You mustn't get up yet . . . Fiançoise will bling you your coffee. I thought that you would wake up about ten, and I had just ground it when you knocked. You shall have it quite fresh.” The maid enteling at that THE DAWN OF LOVE 57 moment, holding in he big red hands the tray with its little load of china, Emilie continued ‘I will serve you myself. Fresneau has gone to take Constant to school —so we have plenty of time—tell me all about 1t.’ And René was obliged to give her a full account of the soirée, without omitting any details. ‘What did Larchel say P’ asked his sister. “What was the courtyald like P And the hall 2 What did the Comtesse wear P’ She was highly amused by the fantastic metaphols of Madame de Sel moises, and cricd : ‘What a wretch '' when she heard the epigram of the unsuccessful playwriter's wife, she laughed at the 19 norance of pretty Madame Ethorel, and was 1ndignant at Colette's cruelty. But when the poet attempted to describe the daunty features of Madame Moraines, and to give her an idea of their talk at supper, she felt as though she would have liked to thank the exquisite lady who had thus at the filst glance discovered what René really was The habits she had conti acted long years since of seeing everything through her brother's eyes and senses made her the most dangerous of confidantes for the poet She possessed the same imaginative nature as he himself— an altistic imagination year n1ng after the beautiful —and, since it was all for another's sake, she gave helself up to 1t unlesclvedly. There 1s a kind of im- personal feminine immolality peculial to mothels, Sisters, and all women 1m love which 19 norcs the laws of con- science where the happiness of One palticular man is at stake. Emilie, who was all Self-denial and modesty in what concerned hel self, indulged only 1n dreams of splendour and ambition for her brother, often giving expression to thoughts which René dared hardly formu- late. “Ah ! I knew you would succeed, she clied. ‘It’s all very well for the Offarels to talk, but your place is not in Oul modest set. What you wilters want is all this grandeul and magnificence. Heavens ! how I wish 58 A LIVING LIE you welc 1 ich But you will be some day. One of these fine ladies will fall 1n love with you and marly you, and cwen in a palace you will not cease to be my loving b1 othel, I know. Is it possible fol you to go on living like this for ever ? Can you fancy yourself in a couple of 1 ooms on the fourth flool with a lot of cry- ing children and a wife with a pair of servant's hands like mine' — holding them out for his inspection —‘and being obliged to work by the hour, like a cab- diiver, to earn your living 2 Hele, it 1s true, you have not lived in luxuly, but you have had your time to yourself. ‘Dear, good sister l’ exclaimcd René, moved to tears by the depths of affection 1evealed in these words, and still more by the moral support they lent to his secret desires. Although Rosalie's name had never been mentioned between them 1m any particulal way, and Emilie had never been taken into her brother's confidence, René was well aware that his Sister had long guessed his innocent Secret He knew that, holding such ambitious views, she would nevel have approved of such a marriage But would she have spoken as she did if she had known all the details P Would she have advised him to commit an act of treachely—for that it was, and of a kind, too, most 1epugnant to a healt born for noble deeds—the t1 cachely of a man who transfers his love, and foresees, nay, already feels, the pain which his il resistible perfidy will necessarily inflict upon himself? As soon as Emilie had gone René, his mind busied with the thoughts his sistel's last words had suggested, rose and dressed himself, and ſo the first time found courage to look the situation well in the face. He remembered the little garden in the Rue de Bagneux, and the evening when he had first implessed a kiss upon the girl’s blushing cheek It is true, he had never been her avowed lover ; but what of those kisses and their secret betrothal One truth appeared to THE DAWN OF LOVE 59 him indisputable—that a man has no right to steal a maiden's love unless he feels strong enough to chelish it for evel. But he also felt that his S1ster had given voice to the thought that had filled him ever since the success of his play had opened up such a horizon of hope ‘This glandeur and magnificence l’ Emilie had said, and again the vision of all the splendout he had witnessed rose up before him—again, Set in this rich frame, he saw the face of Madame Mo1a1ncs with that sweet smile of hers In his loyalty the young poet tried to banish this seductive appal ition from his mind. “Poor Rosalic, how sweet she is, and how she loves me!’ he said, finding some Sad Satisfaction in the con- templation of the deep love he had inspired, and carrying these feelings with him to the bleakfast table. How simply that table was laid, and how little resem- blance it bore to the splendid display of the previous night. The table-cover was of oil-cioth, adorned with coloured flowers; on this stood a very modest Selvice of white china, the heavy glasses that accompanied 16 being rendered necessary by the combined clumsiness of Fresneau, Constant, and Fiançoise, which would have made the use of clystal too costly for the family budget. Flesneau, with his long beald and his look of dist1action, ate quickly, leaning his elbows on the table and cal lying his knife to his mouth ; he was as common in mannels as he was kind of heart, and, as if to emphasise more strongly by contrast the Impicsson which the idle cosmopolitanism of high life had made upon René, he laughingly gave on account of his morning. At seven he had given a lesson at Ecole Saint- André From eight to ten he had taken a class of boys in the same school who wele still too young to follow the oldinary curl Iculum. Then he had just had time to jump into a Pantheon omnibus which took him to a third lesson in the Rue d’Astorg. “I bought a paper on the way,’ added the good man, “to read the account of last night's affail. Dear me,’ he exclaimed, undoing 6O A LIVING LIE the strap that held his small parcel of books, ‘I must have lost it.’ ‘You are so caleless,’ said Emilie almost angrily ‘Oh! it doesn't mattel !’ clied René gaily; “Offarel will tell us all about it. You know that he is my walking guide-book By to-night he will have read all the Paris and provincial newspapers’ Knowing that the smallest details of last night's performance would be collected by Rosalie's ſather and commented upon by her mothel, René was the more anxious to give the g111 a full account of it himself. There is an instinct in man—1s 16 hypocrisy or pity ?— which impels him to theat with the utmost regald the woman who no longel holds his affections. Directly lunch was over he bent his steps towards the Rue de Bagneux. It had formerly been his custom to call upon the Fresneaus pretty frequently about that time. While covering the short distance he had often extemporised a few verses, after the manner of Heine, which he poured 1nto Rosalie's eal when they were alone. The power of walking 1n a day-d1 eam had, however, long Since left him, and rarely had the vulgarity of this coiner of Paris struck him to such a degree. All 1n 1t was eloquent of the sordid lives of the petit bourgeois—from the number of the little shops to the display of their cheap and varied wares that covered half the pavement. In the windows of the restaurants were bills of fale offering meals of various courses at extraordinarily low prices Even the cooking utensils on sale in the bazaars seemed to have an air of poverty about them. These and a score of othel details 1 eminded the young man of the limited resoul Ces of Small incomes, of an existence reduced to that shabby gentility which has not the horlible and attractive picturesqueness of absolute want. When we begin to love we find in all the surroundings of Our beloved so many—reasons for fncreased affection, and when we cease to love these same details furnish the heart with as many 1easons for ~~~~T THE DAWN OF LOVE 6 I further hardening. Why did the impression made upon **:::::... of the neighbourhood cause him to feel annoyed with Rosalie P Why did the appear- ance of the Rue de Bagneux make him as angry with the girl as any personal wrong done to himself? This street, with its line of old houses and a blank wall at the bottom, had a most deserted and poverty-stricken air. At the moment when René enteled 16 one end was almost blocked up by a ca1t heavily laden with straw, the three horses yoked to it, in country fashion, by Stout 1opes, standing with theil heads half hidden in their nosebags whilst the drivel was finishing his dinner in a small, gleasy-looking cookshop A Sister of Mercy was walking along the pavement on the left carrying a large umbrella under hel alm ; the wind flapped the wings of her immense white cap up and down, and the cross of her rosary beat against hel blue Selge dress Why, after having heaped upon Rosalie all the dis- pleasure caused by the sight of her miserable sur- 1 oundings, did René involuntarily connect Madame Moraines with the 1eligious ideas the good Sister's dress evoked P. The manner 1n which that beautiful creature had spoken only the night before of the pious works performed by many so-called frivolous women came. back to him. Three times that day had Suzanne's image come before him, and each time mole distinctly- Great heavens ! What Joy wele his if his good genius brought him face to face with hel in some lettled sticet like this as she was going to visit hel poor But that was out of the question, So René turned down a passage at the end of which wele the glound-flool apartments occupied by the Offalels. Plofiting by the example of the Fresneaus, they, too, had 1ealised the ambition of every family of the /etzte bourgeoisie of Palis, and had found in this deserted quartel of the capital a suite of rooms with a bit of garden as large as a pocket-handker- chief. “Ah ! Monsieu René !’ exclaimed ROSalie, coming 62 A LIVING LIE to the door in answer to the young man's ring at the bell. The Offarels only employed the services of a charwoman who left at twelve o'clock, and concerning whom the old lady always had an inexhaustible stock of anecdotes. At the sight of her lover, poor Rosalie, generally somewhat pale, coloured with Joy, and she could not 1epless the cry of pleasure that 1ose to hel lips. ‘How good of you to come and tell us so soon how your play got on l’ she said, taking the visitol into the dining-loom, a dismal apartment with a north light, and 1n which theſe was no file. Madame Offarel was so stingy that in wintel, when the weather was not too cold, she would save the cºpense of fuel, and make her daughters weal mittens and capes instead ‘We are Just going thi Ough the linen,’ 16malked the good lady, motioning René to a chair. On the table lay the whole of the fortnightly washing, fiom the old man's shirts to the girls' under- clothes, the bluish whiteness of the calicots and cottons being enhanced by the darkness of the room. It was the poor linen of a family 1n st1aitened circumstances ; thele were stockings cvidently dained times out of number, servicttes full of holes, cuffs and collais frayed at the edges—in fact, a whole heap of things that Rosalie felt were not for a poet's eyes. She the e- fore gave him no time to sit down, but said, “Monsieul René had much bettel come into the diawing-room— it's so dark here.” * Before hel mother had had time to say anything ſurther she had pushed the visitor into the apartment honoured by that pompous name, and which, in reality, mole often served as a workroom for Angélique. The latter added a little to the income of the family by Occasionally tianslating an English novel, and was at that moment seated at a small table near the window, w11ting. A dictional y was lying at hel foet, those ex- tremities being encased in a pair of slippels the backs THE DAWN OF LOVE 63 of which she had trodden down for ease. No sooner had she caught sight of Vincy than she gathered up her books and papers and fled. ‘Excuse me, Monsicur René, she exclaimed, brushing back with one hand the hail that hung about her head and casting an apologetic look at her dress— a loose moining wiapper wanting Some half-dozen buttons down the ſi ont. ‘ I ain a perfect flight—don't look at me, please.' The young man sat down and let his eyes wander round the well-known room, whose chief ornament con- sisted in a 10w of aquatelles cxecuted by M. Offalel in Government time. There wel e about a dozen, some rcp1esenting bits of landscape that he had discovered in his Sunday walks, othels being copics of pictures he admired, and which René's more model n taste therefore detested. A faded felt calpet, six cloth-covered chairs and a sofa completed the ful niture of this room, which René had once looked upon as a symbol of almost 1dyllic simplicity, but which now appeared doubly hate- ful to him in his plesent state of mind, agg1avated by the acidity of Madame Offal el's accents. ‘Well, did you enjoy yourself amongst all your grand folks last night? I suppose your friend only visits people now who keep a carriage, eh? Whenever he opens his mouth you hear of nothing but countesses and princesses Dear me! He needn't think himself as gland as all that—he was giving lessons only ten years ago.’ ‘Mamma l' exclaimed Rosalie in beseeching toncs ‘Well, what does he want to be so stuck up about 2' continued the old lady. “He looks at us as much as to say “Pool devils | " ' ‘How mistaken you are in him l’ leplied René. ‘He is rather fond of going into smalt society, it is tiue, but that is only natural in an altist. Why, it's the same with me,’ he went on, with a smile. “I was delighted to 64 A LIVING LIE go to this affair last night and see that magnificent house filled with flowels and fine diesses. Do you think that prevents me appleciating my modest home and my old friends P All writers have that mad long- ing for splendour—even Balzac and Musset had it. It 1s a childish fancy of no importance.’ Whilst the young man was speaking Rosalie dalted a look at her mothel that told of more happiness than her pool eyes had explessed fol months past. In thus con- fessing to and ridicultng his own Inmost feelings, René was obeying 1mpulses too complicated fol the simple gill to understand When Madame Offarel had spoken of “you grand folks’ the young man had seen by the look of anguish in her daughter's eyes that his love for the false glamour of elegance had not escaped Rosalie's perspicacity. He was ashamed of being found guilty of such a plebeian failing, and therefore laid bare his 1mpres- sions as though he were not theil dupe—partly in older to reassure the girl and Spale hel unnecessary pain, partly 1n order to 1ndulge 1n a little weakness without having to reproach himself unduly. Certain natures—and, owing to the habit of intlo- spection, these are frequently found amongst wi iters— find pardon for their sins in mele Confession. In defending Claude Larcher, René, with an irony that would have escaped shal pc1 C11tics than a trusting girl, managed to administel a shalp rebuke to his own follies Whilst openly ridiculing what he himself called his snobbishness, he continued to make those mean-spil ited mental comparisons that would force themselves upon him all that day. IIe could not help measuring the gulf that sepalated the creatures he had seen at Madame Komof's—living blooms reaſed in the hothouse of European aristocracy—from the pale-faced and simple- looking creature before him, her hands spoilt by work, her hair tied back in a knot, and dressed so plainly as to look almost uncouth. The comparison, when dwelt upon, became quite painful, and caused the young man THE DAWN OF LOVE 65 one of those inexplicable fits of ill-humour that always nonplussed Rosalie. Knowing him as she did, she could always see when he had them, but she never guessed their cause. She knew by instinct that there were two Renés existing side by side—the one kind, tender, and good, easily moved and unable to withstand grief—in a word, the René She loved ; the other cold, indifferent, and easily il ritated The bond that united these two beings she was, however, unable to find. All she knew was that before the triumphant success of the ‘Sigisbée’ she had Seen only the filst of these two Renés, and since then only the second. She was afraid to say ‘the unfortunate success;' she had been so ploud of 16, and yet she would have given so much to go back to the time when her darling was pool and unknown, but all hel own. How quickly he could make his voice hard, so hard that even the words addressed to another seemed by their intona- tion alone to be intended to wound her. At that moment, for instance, he was talking to her mother, and the mere accent that he gave to wolds empty in them- selves touched Rosalie to the quick. Suddenly Madame Offarel, who had been listening intently for a few seconds, started up. “I can hear Cendrette scratching at the door, she said ; “the dear creature wants to go out.' With these wolds she 1eturned to the dining-room in Ordc1 to open the yard door for her favourite cat. She was probably delighted to have an excuse for leaving the two young people together; for, Cendrette having gone off, she stood fol some time stroking Raton, another of her feline boarders. ‘How clever you are, my Raton How I love you, my little demon l’ These were some of the pet names that she had devised for hel cats, and as she 1epeated them and a dozen others in rather loud tones she was saying to herself: “If he has come at once, that proves he is still faithful to her—but when will he propose 2 Poor girl | He'll not find a F 66 A LIVING LIE jewel like her in any of his gilded saloons. She's pretty, gentle, good, and true !' Then aloud: ‘Isn't that so, my Raton P You understand, don't you, my son P’ And as the cat arched hel back, rubbed her head against her mistress's skirt, and purred voluptuously, the mother’s internal monologue went on : “And he is a good match, too. We didn't despise him before ; so we have a 1ight to set our caps at him now. She won't have to drudge, as I do fol Offalel. It's a pity that she should have to spoil hel pretty fingels botching up this old linen.’ With the mechanical activity of an old housewife, she made a small pile of the handkerchiefs already gone through, and continued her thoughts : ‘Her little dowly, too ! What a surprise it will be l’ By exercising the most stiingent economy, she had managed to save, out of her husband's modest salary, some fifteen thousand fiancs, which she had invested unknown to M. Offal cl. She smiled to hel self and listened with some anxiety. “I wonder what they are talking about !” She knew that her daughter was fond of René, but she was still ignorant of the secret bonds that united the young people. What would have been her astonish- ment had she known that Rosalie had already frequently but timidly exchanged stolen kisses with her lover, and that immediately her mother's back was turned she had taken René's hand in hels and mul mured in a voice of gentle reproach, “How could you go off last night with- out Saying good-bye P’ ‘Claude dragged me out,' said René, reddening, and pressing his Sweetheart's fingers. She was, however, not taken in either by the excuse or the feigned caress, and, drawing back her hand, shook her head sadly, while her wolds came out with an evident effort. ‘No,' she obsclved ; “you ale not so nice to me as you used to be. How long is it since you last widte me a line of poetry P’ ‘You’re not so silly as to think people can sit down THE DAWN OF LOVE 67 and wiite poetry when they like?’ replied the young man, almost halshly. He ºfflº, which is a sure sign of the decline of love. The obliga- tion to make a show of sentiment—a most cruel duty— was felt by him in one of its thousand forms. By an instinct which leads them to sound the depths of their present misfortune whilst desperately clinging to their past happiness, the women who feel love slipping from them formulate these Small, unpretending demands that have the same effect upon a man as a clumsy tug at the curb has upon a 1 estive horse. The lover who has come with the firm 1ntention of being gentle and affec- tionate immediately 1ears. Rosalie had made a mistake ; she felt that as plainly as she had felt René's indifference a few minutes ago, and a feeling of despair, such as she had never known before, clept over her. Since her lover's departure on the previous evening she had been jealous—she had no 1eason to be, and she would scarcely admit to hel sclf that she was—but she was jealous all the same. “Whom will he meet there P To whom 1s he talking 2' she had asked herself again and again instead of going to sleep. And now she thought, ‘Ah ! he is alieady unfaithful, Ol he would not have spoken to me in this mannel.” The silence that followed the harsh reply was so painful that she timidly asked, ‘Did the actors play their parts well last night P’ Why was she hult to see how eager René was to answer her question, and to turn the conversation from a mole serious subject 3 Because the heart of a woman who is 1eally in love—and that Rosalie was—is suscep- tible to the lightest trifles, and 1n despair she heard René 1eply: ‘They acted divinely,' after which he immediately plunged into a dissertation on the difference between acting on a stage Some distance from the audi- ence and acting in the limited Space of a drawing-room. “Poor child !’ thought Madame Offalel as she returned to the salon, “she is so simple ; she has not got him to In 2 68 A LIVING LIE talk of anything but that wretched play !' Then, in order to be revenged on some one for René's procrastina- tion in proposing, she added aloud, ‘Tell me—isn't your friend Larcher lather jealous of your success P’ CHAPTER VI AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC RENE had entered the house in the Rue de Bagneux a prey to painful impressions, and when he left it his impressions wele more painful still. Then he had been discontented with his surroundings—now he was dis- contented with himself. He had called on Rosalie with the idea of giving her a little pleasure, and sparing her the trifling pain of hearing all about his success from the mouth of another ; instead of which his visit had only caused the girl fresh grief. Although the poet had never harboured aught else than an imaginary love for this child with the beautiful black eyes, that love had gone deep enough to implant in his bleast what is last to die in the break-up of any passion—an extlaordinary power of following the least movements of that virgin heart, and a pity, as unavailing as it was dist1essing, for all the pain he had caused it. Once more he asked himself this question : ‘Is it not my duty to tell her I no longel love her ?’ An insoluble question, for it admits of only two replies—both impos- sible ones—the first, cruel and brutal in its egoism, if our feelings are plain ; the second a frightful mixture of pity and tieachery, if they are complicated. The young man shook his head as if to chase away the obtrusive thought, and mutteling the eternal “We shall see—later on,” by which SO many agonies have been prolonged, forced himself to look about him. He had mechanically tuned his steps towards that polition of the Faubourg Saint-Germain where, in younger days, he had loved to AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 69 walk, and, inspired by Balzac, that dangerous Iliad of poor plebeians, imagine that he saw the face of a Duchesse de Langeais or de Maufrigneuse looking out from every window. He was now in that wide but desolate thoroughfare called Rue Barbet-de-Jouy, which, by reason of the total absence of shops, the grandeul of its buildings, and the countrified look of its enclosed gardens, seems a fitting frame for some fine lady of artificial aristocracy. An inevitable association of 1deas brought René's mind back to the Komof mansion, and the thought of that lordly dwelling conjured up, for the fourth time that day, but more clearly than ever, the image of Madame Moraines. This time, however, worn out by the fretful emotions through which he had passed, he became entirely absorbed in the contemplation of that image instead of trying to dispel it. To think of Madame Moraines was to forget Rosalie, and experience, more- over, a peculiarly Sweet Sensation. After a few minutes of this mental contemplation the natural roamings of his fancy led the young man to ask himself, ‘When shall I see her again P’ He recalled the tone of her voice and her smile as she had said, ‘On Opera days, before dinner.' Opera days 2 This novice of Society did not even know them. He felt a childish pleasure, Out of all proportion to its ostensible cause—like that of a man who is realising his wildest dreams—in gaining the Boulevard des Invalides as quickly as possible and in finding one of the posts that display theatrical advertisements. It was Friday, and the bills announced a pet formance of the Huguenots. René's heart began to beat faster. He had forgotten Rosalie, his remorse of a little while ago, and the question that he had put to himself. That inncr voice which whispels in our Soul's ear such advice as would, upon reflection, astonish us, had just said to him : ‘Madame Moraines will be at home to-day. What if you went?’ 7o A LIVING LIE ‘What if I went P’ he repeated aloud, and the bare idea of this visit parched his throat and set him trem- bling. It is the facility with which extreme emotions are brought into play upon the slightest provocation that makes the inner life of young men full of such strange and rapid transitions from the heights of joy to the depths of misery René had no sooner put the temptation that beset him into words than he shlugged his shoulders and said, ‘It’s madness.’ Having arrived at that decision, he commenced to plead the cause of his own desire under pletence of summing up the objections. ‘How would she 1eceive me P’ The remembrance of her beautiful eyes and of her sweet smile made him reply, “But she was so gentle and so indulgent.’ Then he resumed his questioning. “What could I say to justify a visit less than twenty-four hours after having left hel 2’ “Pooh l’ 1eplied the tempting voice, ‘the Occasion brings its own inspira- tion.” “But I am not even diessed ' Well, he had only to go to the Rue Coetlogon. “But I don't even know her addiess.’ “Claude knows 1t—I have only to ask him.’ The idea of calling on Larcher having once presented itself to his mind, he felt that it would be impossible not to put at least that paſt of his plan into execution. To call on Claude was the first step towards reaching Madame Molaines; but, instead of confessing that, René was hypoclite enough to pretend othel 1 easons. Ought he not really to go and obtain news of his friend ? He had left him so unhappy, so truly miseſ able, on the previous evening Perhaps he was now fietting like a child P Perhaps he was prepaling to pick a quarrel with Salvaney P In this way the poet excused himself for the haste with which he was now making for the Rue de Varenne. It was not only Suzanne's address that he hoped to obtain, but information about her too—and all the while he was trying to persuade himself that he was simply fulfilling a duty of friendship. AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 7 I In a very short time he had reached the corner of the Rue de Bellechasse, and a few moments later he found himself before the great doors of the strange house in which Larcher had taken up his abode. Pushing these open, he entered an immense courtyard in which every- thing spoke of desolation, from the grass that grew between the Stones to the cobwebs that covered the windows of the deselted stables on the left. At the bottom of the Courtyard stood a noble mansion, built in the reign of Louis XIV., and bearing the proud motto of the Saint-Euvertes, whose town house this had been, Fortiter. The stones of this building, already beating traces of the ravages of time, its long shuttered windows and its silence wele all in harmony with the solitude of the courtyard. The old Faubourg Saint-Germain contains many such houses, strange as the destiny of their owners, and which will always plove peculiarly attractive to minds in Search of the psychologically picturesque—if we may unite these two words to define an almost indefinable shade of meaning. René had heard the history of this mansion from his friend ; how the old Malguis de Saint-Euverte, 1educed to despair by the almº - simultaneous loss of his wife, his three daughters, and their husbands, had, six years ago, gone to live with his grandsons on his estates in Poitou. An epidemic of typhoid fever suddenly breaking Out in a small watering-place where all the family were staying together had made this happy old man the lonely guardian of a tribe of olphans. Even during the life-time of the Marquise—an excellent business woman—two small wings in the house had been let to quiet tenants These wings had also a history of their own, the glandfathel of the plesent Marquis having placed them at the disposal of two cousins—Knights of Saint-Louis and at one time political refugees—who, after a wletched, wandel 1ng existence, had ended their days hel e. M de Saint- Euverte had left everything as his wife had arranged it 72 A LIVING LIE Claude therefore one day found himself the only tenant in the whole of this silent, gloomy building, for the occupant of the other wing had been Scared away by the loneliness of the place, and no one else had yet seemed anxious to bury himself in this tomb, standing between a desolate courtyal d and a still more desolate garden. But all these points, that wele so displeasing to others, were a source of delight to Larcher. The oddness of the place appealed particularly to this dreamer and maker of paradoxes It pleased him to set his irregular existence as an artist and a swell club- man in this framework of imposing Solitude ; and here, too, he could shut himself up with his secret agonies. The love of analytical introspection with which he knew he was infected, and which, like a doctor culti- vating his own disease for the sake of a fine “case, he carefully nurtured, could not have found a better home. Then, again, here Laichel cnjoyed absolute fleedom. The concierge, won ovel by a few theatre tickets and fascinated by the 1eputation of his tenant, would have allowed him to hold a saturnalian feast 1n every hall of the Saint-Euverte mansion had Claude felt any desire to found another Club de Haschischens or to reproduce some scene of literary orgies out of love for the romanticism of 1830. The concierge was absent from his post when René ariived, so that the poet walked straight across the courtyaid to the house. Entering the main hall, where the magnificent lamps bore testi- mony to the grandeul of the receptions once held here, he mounted the stone staircase, whose wrought-iron balustrade formed a splendid oi nament to the huge well of the house. On the second floor he turned down a corridor, at the end of which heavy curtains of Oliental texture proclaimed a modeln installation hidden in the depths of a mansion that seemed to be peopled only with the bewigged ghosts of grands seigneurs. The man-servant who answered his ring possessed AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 73 that type of face peculiar to nearly all custodians of old buildings; it is met with both in the guides of ruined castles and in the vergers of cathedrals, and shows how vast must be the influence which places have on human beings It is a face with a greenish tint and with a hawk-like expression about the eyes and mouth ; from its appearance one would suppose that it smelt damp. Ferdinand—that was the name of this individual— differed from his kind only in dress, which, consisting as it did of Claude's cast-off clothes, was fashionable and smalt. He had been valet to the late Comte de Saint-Euverte, and, in addition to his duties as Larcher's servant, he was a kind of housekeeper for the whole mansion, fiom which he seldom emerged more than once a month. The concierge went on all the writer's errands, and his wife did the cooking. This little world lived entirely under the spell of Claude, who, through his knowledge of chalacter and his infantile goodness of heart, possessed in a 1are degree the gift of winning the attachment of his inferiors. When Ferdinand saw who the caller was he could not help showing great un- easiness. “They shouldn't have let you come up, sil ' ' he said. “I shall get into trouble.’ ‘Is Monsieur Larcher at work 2' asked René, smiling at the man's terror. ‘No,' replied Ferdinand in an undertone, and quite at a loss what to do with a visitor whom his master had evidently not expected. “But Madame Colette is here.” “Ask him whether he can see me for a minute,’ said the poet, curious to know how the two lovers stood after the scene of the preceding evening ; and, in order to conquer the valet's hesitation, he added: “I’ll take all the responsibility.’ ‘You may come up, sil,’ was the answer with which he returned, and, preceding René through the ante-room, he took him up the small inner staircase that led to the three apartments usually inhabited by Claude, and 74 A LIVING LIE which the writer either called his “laboratory’ or his ‘tortule-chambel, according to the mood he was in. The staircase and the first two of the three 1 ooms were remarkable for the richness of their carpets and hangings. The faint light that filtered through the stained-glass windows on this dull February afternoon Scarcely cast a shadow, eithel in the smoking-1 oom with its molocco-covered ful niture or in the large salon lined with books. Claude's favourite nook was a den at the end, the walls of which were hung with some dark material and adolned with a few canvases and aqua- ze/les of the most modern painters of the day—these being what the writer's extravagant fancy preferred. There were two opera boxes by Forain, a dancing girl by Degas, a rural Scene by Raffaelli, a sea-piece by Monet, four etchings by Félicien Rops, and on a diaped pedestal a bust of Laichel himself by Rodin. The bust was a splendid picce of work, In which the gleat Sculptor had reproduced with marvellous skill all that might be read in his model's face—qualms of morality mingled with libel tinism, bold reflection allied to a weak will, innate idealism hand 1n hand with an almost systemati- cally acquired Col 1 uption. A low bookcase, a desk in one cornel, three fauteuils in Venetian style with negroes supporting the arms, and a wide green leather couch completed the furniture of this retreat, clouded at that moment with the smoke of Colette's Russian cigarette. The young lady was lying at full length on the couch, her fair hair tumbling about her eals, and attiled in somewhat masculine style, with a stand-up collar and an open jacket. Her short plain cloth skirt revealed a pair of neat ankles and long narrow feet encased 1n black silk stockings and patent leather shoes. Her sunken cheeks were pale—that pallol produced in most theatrical women by the constant use of paint, by late hours, and by the fatigues of an arduous profession. ‘A/, / mom petit Vincy, she cried, holding out her hand to the visitor, ‘you have come just in time to save AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 75 me from a beating I only wish you knew how badly this boy treats me ! Come, Claudie, she added, shaking her finger at her lover, who was seated at her feet, “ say 1t's not true if you dare' And with a graceful move- ment of her lithe and supple body—she herself would confess that she scarcely ever wore a corset—the charm- ing creature rose to a Sitting posture, laid her fair head on Claude's shoulder, and placed between his lips the cigarette she had just been smoking. The wietched man looked at his young friend with shame and Sup- plication written on his face; then, turning to Colette, his eyes filled with teals At this the actiess's behaviour became more wanton still, and leaning forward upon her lover's shoulder, she gazed into his eyes until she saw in them the look of passion that she knew So well how to turn to her own advantage A dead silence ensued. The fire burned blightly in the grate, and a Solitary Sunbeam, making 15s way through the coloured glass, fell in a long red streak upon the girl's face René had been present at scenes of this kind too often to feel surprised at the want of modesty of either his friend or Colette He was well acquainted with the st1ange cynicism of their nature; but he also remembered Claude's terlible language the night before, and the cluel words his mistress had uttered after his disappearance. He was astounded to see to what depths of degladation the wiitel's weakness diagged him down and to witness such proofs of this wietchcq woman's inconsistency. In the close atmosphere of this room, 1mpregnated with the perfume that Colette used, and before the almost immodest attitude of the pair before him, there came over him a feeling of sensuality with which he was already too familial. The sight of this depraved creature——though her depravity was generally clothed in graceful forms—had often awakened in him 1deas of a physical passion very different from any he had hitherto known She had frequently received him in her dressing-room at the theatre, and as she stood in 76 A LIVING LIE careless dishabille before hel glass putting the finishing touches to her face, or completing, with unblushing indifference, the more hidden details of her toilet, she had appeared to him like some temptless personifying the highest forms of voluptuousness, and at such times he would envy Claude as much as he sometimes pitied him. But these feelings would soon be dispelled by the disgust with which the moral degradation of the actress inspired him and by the burning scruples of fiendship that animate and restrain the young. René would have been horrified to find himself, even for a moment, covet- ing what he considered his fliend's property, and perhaps the knowledge of this delicacy of feeling went for some- thing in Colette's behaviouſ. Out of sheer wantonness she amused herself by displaying her beauty before him, just as we hold up a flower to be smelt when we know the hands will not be put out to seize it Wantonness it was, too, that led the misguided girl to dally with Claude and to lavish Such caresses upon him before René. All this, however, produced in the poet a vague physical longing that he could not 1epress; it grew upon him unconsciously, and, by an association of desires, more difficult to interrupt in its Secret workings than an association of ideas, the vision of Madame Moraines was once mole before him, surrounded by the halo of seduc- tion that had so completely dazzled him on the plevious evening. Two things were now obvious to René : one was, that he must go and call on that woman to-day ; the other, that he would never be able to utter her name and ask for her address before the lascivious cleature who was torturing Claude with her kisses. “Get away,’ said the writer, pushing hel from him ; “I love you, and you know it. Why, then, do you make me suffer so P Ask René what a state I was in last night. Tell her, Vincy, and tell her she should not trifle with me Aftel all,” he cried, buying his face in his hands, “what does it matter P If you became the most degraded wretch on earth, I should still idolise you.’ AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 77 ‘These are some of the pretty things I have to hear all day long, cried Colette, rolling back on the cushions with a laugh. ‘Well, René, tell him about me too. Tell him how angry I was last night because he went home without saying a wold. And then he didn't write, so I came here. Yes, I came to ſlim, 1ſ you please. You savage l’ she cried, taking Larcher by the hair, “do you think I should trouble to run after you if I didn't love you?” Every featue of her face expressed the real nature of the feeling she entertained for Claude—cruel sensuality, that sensuality which impels a woman to make a martyr of the man from whose power she cannot free herself. History tells of queens who loved in this fashion, and who handed ovel to the headsman the men whom they hated and yet desired to possess. René quietly ob- served . “I was uneasy about him last night, it is true, and you were very cruel.’ ‘That will do!’ cried Colette, with a contemptuous laugh. “I’ve already told you that you swallow any- thing he says. I’ve given that up myself long ago One day he threatened to commit suicide, and when I came here in my stage clothes, without even waiting to wash my paint off, I found him—col recting ploofs l’ “But that I'm obliged to do, 1eplied Claude; ‘you often have to Smile on the stage yourself when you're 1eally in trouble.’ ‘What does that plove?’ she 1etolted shal ply; ‘that we ale merely acting Only I take you for what you are, and you don't.' Whilst she rattled on, rating Claude with that savage rancour that a woman takes no pains to conceal fiom the man with whom she is on intimate telms, René's glance, as it wandeled 1 ound the room, fell upon a direc- toly containing the addiesses of the “upper ten and the hangers-on of Society. Taking it up he turned over the leaves, and to offer 78 A LIVING LIE some excuse for his action, mendaciously remarked, ‘Why, youl name isn't here, Claude l’ “I should think not,’ said Colette; ‘I won't let him send it. He sees quite enough of the swells as it is.’ “I thought you liked the society of that kind of man,’ obselved Claude. ‘What a clevel thing to say !' she replied, with a graceful shlug of her shoulders. ‘They're smart, it's tiue— 1t's their business to be. They know how to dress, to play tennis, to 11de, and to talk of hoises, whilst you, with all you blains, will nevel be anything but a cad. How I wish you were now what you were eight years ago when I first met you in that restaurant at the corner of the Rue des Saints-Pères | I had just come from the Con- servatoire with my mother and Falguet, my professor, and we welle having Some lunch. You looked so good, sitting in the Colner— as though you had come from a monastely, and were having your filst peep at the world. It was that, I think, that made me like you. Are you coming to the theatre to night P’ she asked René, as he closed the book and 1 ose to go. He had found what he wanted ; Madame Molaines lived in the Rue Murillo, neal the Parc Monceau. “No 2 Well, to-morrow then, and mind you don't get gadding about like this boy Such fine ladies as they ale, too, youl Society women— I know something of them Oh, look at his face—won't he stol m as soon as you're gone ! You're Surely not going to be jealous of women 'she said, lighting a fresh cigarette. ‘Good-bye, René.’ “She is like that before you,' observed Claude, as he let his friend out; ‘but you wouldn't believe how gentle and affectionate she can be when we are alone !” ‘And how about Salvaney ’’ asked René unthink- ingly. Claude turned pale. ‘She says that she merely went to his rooms to look at Some drawings for her next rôle : she sweals that theſe was nothing wrong in it. With women, everything is possible—even what is good,' AN OBSERVER'S LOGIC 79 he added, giving René a hand that was not very steady. ‘I can't help it—I must believe her when she looks at me in her peculiar way.' CHAPTER VII T III. FACE O T A M ADON N.A. * CAN a man of sense, and a good follow into the bar- gain, fall as low as that P’ René asked himself on leaving his unhappy friend. Then, thinking of Colette's handsome face, he muttered, “She is very pretty. Heavens ! if one could only get Rosalie's beauty of soul united to this creature's incomparable grace and elegance l’ But was not such union to be found 2 The inner or molal beauty, without which a woman is more bitter than death to the healt of a right-thinking man, and the outer or physical glamouſ that enables her to atti act and captivate his grosser nature—was not such complete and supreme harmony to be found in those creatures whom the accidents of birth and for tune have surrounded by the attributes of 1eal aristocracy, and whose personal chal mS ale in keeping with their sur- 1oundings Was not Madame Molaines an example of this 2 In any case, that was the poet's first implession of her, and he took a delight in Stiengthening this im- pression by a1gument. Yes, he was sure that this woman, whose soothing image floated through his brain, did indeed possess that double chal m—not only beauty and grace Superior to Colette's, but a Soul as un- Sullied as Rosalic's. The 1efinement of her manners, the sweetness of her voice, and the ideality of her con- versation gave abundant proofs of it. René walked on, his mind occupied with these thoughts, and his eyes fixed upon a solt of millage that made him insensible to all alound him. He awoke from 8O A LIVING LIE this fit of somnambulism on reaching the end of the Pont des Invalides, and found himself in the middle of the Avenue d'Antin. His footsteps had mechanically turned towards the quarter where dwelt the woman to whom his thoughts were so constantly 1ecuring that day. He smiled as he remembered how often he had made a pilgrimage to this Rue Murillo when Gustave Flaubert still lived there. René was such an aident admirer of the author of the ‘Tentation ' that it had always been a great treat to him to gaze up at the house of the eminent and powerful writer. How long ago those times seemed now, and how 1apturous they would have been had he then known that the woman who was to 1ealise his fondest ideal would live in that vely st1ect Should he go and Sce hel to-day P The ques- tion became mole pressing as time advanced. One sweep more of the large hand 1 ound the dial, and it would be five o'clock—he could see her. He could see her The idea of this being a real possibility took such a hold upon his mind that all the objections his timidity could devise arose at once. ‘No,' he muttered, “I shall not go ; she would be surprised to see me so soon. She only asked me to come because she knew all the others had invited me. She did not want to seem less polite.’ What had seemed in others an empty compliment became a delicate attention 1n the case of the woman he was beginning to love—unknown to himself. The discovery of an additional motive for distinguishing her from all the women he had met on the plevious even- 1ng made him feel less able to resist the desire to be near her. He hailed a cab almost mechanically, and on reaching home commenced to dress. His sister was out, and Fiançoise was busy in the kitchen. Though he had still not the courage to say to himself outright, ‘I am going to the Rue Murillo, he paid as much atten- tion to the minute details of his toilet as amorous youths—at such times a deal more coquettish than THE FACE OF A MADONNA 8 I women—are wont to do. It was now no longer upon his timidity that he relied for help to battle against the ever-increasing desire within him Every object in the room recalled memories of Rosalie. With the innate honesty of the young, he for a long time tried to impress upon himself the duty he owed the poor girl. “What would I think of her if I heard that she was accepting the attentions of a man whom she liked as much as I like Madame Moraines 2 But then, rejoined the tempting voice, ‘you are an artist, and require fresh sensations and experience of the world. And who says that you are going to call on Madame Moraines only to make love to her P’ He was just in the act of applying his handkerchief to a bottle of ‘white rose’ that stood on his dressing- table. The penetrating perfume sent the warm blood coursing through his veins in that 1rresistible tide of voluptuous desire that marks the nascent passions of ardent but continent natures such as his. Since his secret engagement to Rosalie his delicate scruples had led him to return to a life of absolute purity. But the barriers of reserve gave way before this subtle per- fume, which awakened memories of all that was least ideal in her rival—the golden ringlets in her neck, her ruby lips and pearly teeth, her Snowy rounded shoul- ders and the long bare arms with their tapering wrists. And this, too, just as he was attempting to attribute his admiration for her to 1ntellectual motives. Of what avail were ideas of loyalty towards Rosalie in the face of such visions P It was five o'clock. René left the house, jumped into another cab, and told the man to drive to the Rue Murillo. He kept his eyes closed the whole of the way, SO 1mtensely painful was the sen- sation of suspense. Mingled with this was shame for his own weakness, apprehension of what was in store for him, deep joy at the thought that he was about to see that glorious face once more, and, permeating all, a spice of that mad hope, intoxicating on account of its G 82 A LIVING LIE very vagueness, that u1ges the young along flesh paths simply for the sake of their novelty. The feeling of permanence, so indispensable to a man of experience, who knows how short life 1eally is, is hateful to the vely young. At twenty-five they ale by nature changeable, and consequently fickle. René, who was even better than a good many othels, had already irreparably betrayed in thoughts the girl who loved him when his cab set him down at the door of the woman he had seen for one houl on the plevious night. He would lather have stepped upon Rosalie's healt than not enter that door now. If a last thought of his betrothcq did trouble him at that moment, he no doubt dismissed 1t with the usual phlase—“She won't know,' and passed on. The house in which Madame Molaines lived was one of those buildings to be found 1n the fashionable quarters of Palis which, although pal celled out into ſlats, have been made by the modern alchitect to look almost like plivate mansions. The house was of noble elevation and stood back some little distance fiom the stileet, the privacy of the coultyard being 1msured by Some 1 ailings that shut 1t off from the outside would. In the centle of these railings was the portel's lodge, a Sort of Gothic pavilion, and as René 1nquired whether Madame Molaines was at home he could see that the interior of this lodge was bettel ful nished and looked smaltel and brighter than the drawing-1 oom of the Offalels on reception nights. The strain upon the young man's nerves had now become so painful that if the veteran soldier who was ending his days in this haven of 1est had answered him in the negative he would almost have thanked him. But what he heald was, ‘Second floor up the steps at the bottom of the courtyard.’ He crossed the marble threshold and then mounted a wooden staircase Coveled with a soft-toncol carpet. The air that he bleathed on the stairs was waſ m, like that of a 100m. Heic and there stood exotic plants, THE FACE OF A MADONNA 83 the gaslight glinting on their green foliage. Chairs were placed at every turn of the staircase, and twice did René sink down into one. His knees trembled under him. If until then he had had any doubts respecting the nature of the feelings he entertained for Madame Moraines, his piesent state of excitement should have warned him that those feelings amounted to something more than simple culiosity. But he went on as if he were in a dream. He was in that state when he pressed the button at the side of the door, when he heard the Servant coming to open it, and when he gave him his name ; then, before he had recovered his wits, the man had shown him into a small salon, where he found the dangerous creature whose charms had so enslaved him, though he knew nothing of her except that she was beautiful. Alas ! that this beauty should so often be only a mask, and a dangerous mask, too, when we give it credit for being more than it really pretends to be Had René in fancy painted any setting for this rare and majesticbeauty, he could have imagined no other than that in which he saw Madame Moraines for the second time. She was seated at her writing-desk, on which stood a lighted lamp covered with a lace shade, whilst an ivy plant trained to Cleep along a gilded tiellis formed a novel and pleasing Scieen to the table. The small 10om was filled with a profusion of ol naments and trifles indispensable to every modern interiol. The inevi- table reclining-chail, with 1ts heap of Cushions, the what- not crowded with Japanese netsuke's, the photographs in their frames of filigree, the three or four genre pictures, the lacquered boxes standing on the little table covered with its strip of Oliental silk, the flowers distributed here and there—who in Palis is unacquainted with this refinement of comfort now so stereotyped as to be quite commonplace But all that René knew of Society life he had learnt either from Balzac and other novelists of fifty years ago or from more modern authors who had never secn the inside of a drawing-room ; the ensemble G 2 84 A LIVING LIE of this apartment, beautifully harmonised by the soft tints of the shaded lamp, was therefore to him like the revelation of a hidden trait peculiar to the woman who had presided over its arrangement. The charm of the moment was the more 1rresistible since the Madonna who dwelt in this shrine, with its subdued light and its warm air heavy with the scent of flowels, received him with a smile and a look in her eyes that at once dis- pelled all his childish fears. The men whom Nature has endowed with that inexplicable power of pleasing women, apart from what- ever other qualities they may possess, either mental or physical, are provided with a kind of antennae of the soul to warn them of the impressions they produce. The poet, in spite of his complete ignol ance both of Suzanne's disposition and of the customs of the world she lived in, felt that he had done right in coming. This knowledge served to soothe his overstrung nerves, and he gave himself up entirely to the sweetness that emanated from this creature, the first of her kind whom he had been permitted to approach. By merely looking at her he saw that she was not the same woman as on the previous evening She had evidently but just come In ; some pressing duty—a note, perhaps, to be written— had only given her time to take off her hat and to sub- stitute a dainty pair of slippels for her outdoor boots, so that she was still wearing a walking-dress of some dark material with a high Collar like Colette's. Her hair, René noticed, was of the same colour as the actress's, and was twisted into a plain coil upon her head. Like that, she seemed to René more approach- able, less superhuman, less Suri Ounded by that impene- trable atmosphere in which the pomp of dress and the ceremony of grand receptions envelop a woman of fashion. The few traits that she possessed in common with the actress only added to her charms. They enabled René to measure the distance that separated the two beings, and whilst doing this he heard Suzanne THE FACE OF A MADONNA 85 say in that voice which on the previous evening had proved so irresistibly seductive: “How good of you to come, Monsieur Vincy!” It was nothing—a mere figure of speech. Madame de Sermoises, and Madame Ethorel, and even the spiteful Madame Hurault would have used the same words. But, in the mouth of Madame Moraines, and for him to whom they were addressed, they were ex- pressive of deep and true sympathy, of unbounded kindness, and of divine indulgence. The phrase had been accompanied by a gesture of 1ndescribable grace, by a slight look of surprise in the pale blue eyes, and by a smile more seductive than ever. Had René not come to the Rue Murillo fully prepared to seize upon the slightest motives for admiring Suzanne still more, the tribute which she paid to his vanity by this form of reception would alone have conquered him. Do not the most celebrated authors and those most weary of drawing-room sycophancy allow themselves to be captivated by attentions of this kind 2 The author of the ‘Sigisbée' was not inclined to look at these things so critically, either. He had come 1n fear and trembling, and his reception had shown him he was welcome. Since the morning he had felt a passionate desire to see Suzanne again ; he stood before her, and she was glad to see him. There was a melry look in her eyes as her pretty lips now framed the second sentence she had yet spoken : “If you accepted all the Invitations which were showered upon you yestel day you must have had a hard day's work 2' “But you ale the only one I have called upon, madame,’ he replied naively. He had scarcely uttered the words when a deep blush overspread his face. The significance of his reply was so apparent, the Sentiments it expressed so sincere, that he felt quite abashed, like a child whose simple nature has led it to tell what it wished to keep secret. Had he not been guilty of 86 A LIVING LIE familiarity that would shock this exquisite creature, this woman whose delicate perception no shade of meaning could escape, and upon whose sensitive nature the slightest want of tact would certainly Jar P The pale pink of her cheeks and the silken gloss of her hair, the blue of her eyes, and the glace of all her person made her appear to him for the few seconds that followed his exclamation like some Titania, by the side of whom he was but an obscule and loutish Bottom. Before her he felt as clumsy in mind as he would have been in body had he ti led to imitate any of her graceful movements— the way, for Instance, in which she closed her hand- somely worked blotting-book and with her fail hands put in older the knick-knacks that covered her table. An imperceptible smile hoveled about her lips as the young man uttered his simple words. But how could he have seen that smile when his eyes were modestly cast down at the moment? How could he have guessed that his reply would be acceptable, although it was piecisely the one that had been expected and even provoked P René was only certain of one thing—that Madame Molaines was as gentle and as kind as she was beautiful ; instead of appearing Offended or drawing back she tried to conquer the fresh fit of timidity that was beginning to seize him by replying to his foolish remaik. ‘Well, sil, I certainly deserve that preference, which would create a deal of jealousy if it were known, for no one admiles your talent as much as I do. You! poetry contains such true and delicate sentiment. We women, you know, never Judge by 1eason ; out hearts criticise fol us, and it is so seldom that a model n author manages to touch only the 1ight choids. How can it be otherwise 2 We ale faithful to the old ideals—ah yes, I know that 1s not at all the fashion to-day—1t makes one look almost ridiculous. But we defy ridicule—and then, besides, I have inherited these 16eas from my poor father. It was always his fondest wish to do something towards 1aising the literal y tone in our un- THE FACE OF A MADONNA 87 happy country. I thought of him as I listened to your verses; how he would have enjoyed them l’ She stopped, as 1f to banish these too melancholy 1ecollections. On hearing the way in which she pro- nounced her father's name one must needs have been a monster of distrust not to believe that the incurable wound caused by the death of that celebrated minister bled aflesh every time she thought of him. René was, nevel theless, a little surprised at the tenor of her words. He 1emembered that one of the last things Sainte-Beuve had written was a philippic against a copyright bill proposed by Bois-Dauffin, and he had always looked upon the statesman as one of the Sworn enemies of literature, of whom there ale thousands in the political world. He, moleovel, had a profound horror of the con- ventional idealism to which Madame Moraines had alluded. In poetry, his favourite author was Théophile Gautler, both on account of his construction and the precision of his metaphols—in plose, the sevel e Flaubert, on account of his wondel fully cleal style, and his lack of all mannel 1sms. It pleased him, howevel, that Suzanne should see in her father a libel al protector of literature, for 1t ploved the depth of her filial piety. He was also pleased to find that she chel 1shed an ideal of his art almost childish in its simplicity. Such a complehension of beauty, if sincere, showed real inner pulity. If sincere ! René would have disdained to entertain such a doubt in the presence of this ethereal angel with her dieamy eyes. He stammeled Out Some phlase as vague as that in which Madame Moraines had explessed her idea, and spoke only of woman's fine judgment 1n litela- ture—he, the worshipper not only of Gautieſ, but of Baudelaire | Was she quick enough to hear by his tone of voice that she was on a wrong tack 2 Or did the profound ignorance in which, like So many Society women, she was content to dwell—nevel reading any- thing beyond a paper and a few third-rate novels when 88 A LIVING LIE travelling—make it impossible fol her to keep up a conversation of this older and quote names in support of her ideas P. In any case, she soon dropped this dan- gerous subject, and quickly passed from the ideal in alt to another mole feminine problem, the ideal in love. In merely uttering the word ‘love,' which, in itself, con- tains so much that is contradictory, she managed to assume such an air of modesty that René felt as if he had been taken into her confidence. It was evidently a subject upon which this woman, so far above all ideas of gallantry, did not care to enter unless she was in full sympathy with her hearer. ‘What pleases me, too, so much in the “Sigisbée,”’ she observed, in her swect, musical voice, ‘is the faith in love poſtrayed there—the horror of coquetly, of lies, of all that dishonours the most divine sentiment of which the human Soul is capable. Believe me,’ she added, resting her head upon her hand as if in deep reflection, and regarding René with a look of such seriousness that it seemed to concentrate all hel thoughts ; ‘believe me, the day that you doubt the reality of love you will cease to be a poet. But there is a God who watches over genius, she went on, with a kind of suppressed emotion. ‘That God will not permit the splendid gifts with which he has endowed you to be sterilised by Scepticism—for you are a believe!, I am Sule, and a good Catholic P’ “I was, he replied. ‘And now 2° she asked, with a look almost of pain on her face. ‘I have my days of doubt, he answered in simple fashion. She was silent, whilst he sat gazing in speech- less admilation at this woman who, 1n the vortex of Society life, could still ascend to a world of higher and nobler ideas. He did not stop to think that there was something degrading—something like an attempt to gain cheap applause—in parading before a stranger— and what else was he to her ?—the most sacred feelings THE FACE OF A MADONNA 89 of the heart. Although he had in his uncle, the Abbé Taconet, a perfect example of a true Chiistian Soul, he was not surprised to hear Madame Moraines combine in one sentence two things so completely foreign to each other as a belief in God and the gift of writing plays in verse. He knew nothing except that to hear her voice once more, to see in her blue eyes that expression of true faith, to gaze upon the curl of her dainty lips, to feel her presence near him now, always, and for ever, he would have braved the direst perils. Amid this silence the singing of the tea urn in a corner of the little salom became more perceptible Suzanne passed her hand with its well-polished nails over her eyes; then, with a smile of apology for having dared, ignorant as she was, to broach such serious problems to a great mind like his, she suddenly changed her theme as lightly as Some women will offer you a Sandwich after having discussed the immortality of the soul “But you have not come here to be preached at, she cried, ‘and I am forgetting that I am only a worldly woman after all. Will you have a cup of tea P Then come and help me make it.’ She rose; her step was so lithe and she walked with such an easy grace that to René, who was alieady completely bewitched, 1t seemed as 1ſ her very move- ments continued 1n some way the charm of her con- versation. He too had risen, and was now made to take a seat near the little table on which the tea-kettle was singing merrily. He looked at her as her dainty hands, so calefully tended, deftly moved amongst the fragile china with which the tray was laden. She was talking, too, but now her talk ran upon a score of details of every-day life. As she poured the strong liquor into the cups she told him where she got her tea; then, as she added the boiling water, she questioned him upon the manner in which he made his coffee when he wanted to work. She finished by taking a seat beside him, after having spread a small cloth fol the cups, the plates 90 A LIVING LIE of toast and cake, the pot of cream, and all the 1est. She had set it out as though it were for a young lady's tea party, and bestowed upon her visitol those little attentions in which women excel. They know that the most savage men often love to be petted and made much of, and that they are so easily won by this false coinage of pretended affection. Suzanne was now beginning to question the poet, and made him give her an account of his feelings on the first night of the ‘Sigisbée, thus completing her work of seduction by compelling him to talk about himself. All René's timidity had disappeared, and he felt as if he had known this woman for years, so rapidly had she succeeded in gaining an ascendency over him in this first visit. It was therefore a cruel sensation, like awak- ing from a heavenly dream, when the door opened to admit a new comer. “Oh ! what a bother l’ exclaimed Suzanne in an undertone. How sweet this exclamation sounded in the poet's eals, and how he appleciated hCr pretty look of annoyance, and the g1aceful shrug of her shoulders that accompanied it ! He rose to take his leave, but not before Madame Moraines had introduced him to the unwelcome visitor. ‘Monsieur le Baron Desforges—Monsieur Vincy.’ The poet caught a glance of a man of middle height attired in a smart-fitting frock-coat. The man might have been fifty-five or forty-five—in 1eality he was fifty- six—so difficult was it to read his age fiom his impene- trable featules. His moustache was still fair, and though the Baron had managed to escape baldness, that plague common to all Parisians, the colour of his hair, a decided grey, showed that he made no attempt to hide his years. His face was a little too full-blooded to be strictly in keeping with the rest of his appearance. His searching gaze rested upon René with that air of profound indif- ference which diplomatists by profession ale so prone to affect, and which seems to say to the man so 1egarded, THE FACE OF A MADONNA 9I ‘If I chose to know you, I should know you—but I do not choose to.' Was this really the meaning of the look that rested on him, or was René merely put out by the interruption to his charming téte-à-tête 2 Be that as it might, the poet felt an immediate and profound anti- pathy towards the Balon, who, on healing his name, had bowed without uttering a wold to show whether he knew him or not But what did that matter to René, since Madame Moraines had still managed to say with a smile as she gave him her hand : ‘Thanks for your kind visit. I am so glad that you found me at home' Glad ' And what word should he use—he who, in an almost maudlin state of intoxication, felt, as he left the house in which this delightful creature lived, that before that day and that hour he had never really loved CHAPTER VIII THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE ‘IT's Madame Komofºs little poet,” said Suzanne, as soon as the door had closed upon René. The tone in which she replied to the Balon's mute interrogation indicated the familiar footing upon which Desforges stood in this house Then with that gulish smile she could so well assume—one of those smiles in which the most distrustful men will always believe, because they have seen their sisters smile like that—she went on, “Oh I I forgot—you wouldn't go last night. I looked so nice—you would have been proud of me. I had my hail done just as you like it. I expected to see you come in later on. This young man, who is the author of the play, was introduced to me, and the poor fellow just called to leave his card. He didn't know my hours, and came stiaight up. You have done him a great Selvice in giving him an opportunity to escape, He had stayed so long that he was aflaid to go.” 92 A LIVING LIE ‘You see that I was right in setting my face against last night's affair, remarked the Baron. ‘Here we have another man of letters brought out. He has been here, and will call on others. He'll call again, no doubt, and then he'll be invited here and theie. People will talk before him as they do before you and me, without thinking that on leaving your house he will, out of sheer vanity, go and 1etail the stories he has heard here in some café or newspapel office. And then the Society dames will be astonished to find themselves figuring in the columns of some scurrilous sheet or in an up-to-date novel. To invite wiite1s into the drawing-room is one of the latest and maddest freaks of so-called Society. We wrong them by robbing them of their time, and they leturn the injury by libelling us. I was told the other day that the daughter of one of this gentleman's colleagues, who helps her papa in his books, was heald to say: “We never go anywhere without bringing home at least two pages of useful notes.” I myself cannot understand this mania for talking into phonographs— and such silly, lying phonographs, too, as they are l’ “Ah !’ exclaimed Suzanne, taking the Baton's hand in hers, and looking up at him with an admilation that was too marked not to be since1e, ‘how fortunate I am in having you to guide me through life What correct and clear judgment you have l’ “Oh merely a little gumption, that's all,’ 1 eplied Desforges, with a shake of the head ; “that will prevent one from committing nine-tenths of the bad actions that are really only follies. All my wisdom of life is to try and get what I can out of what is left me—and what is left me is precious little Do you know that I shall be fifty-six this week, Suzanne P’ She shook her pretty head, and came closer to him as he stopped in his march up and down the room. With a look of ingenuousness that might have been worn either by an accomplished wanton or a big girl a sking her father for a kiss she brought first her cheek THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE 93 with its pretty dimple, and then the corner of her sweet mouth, under the Baron's lips. ‘Come, she said, “don’t you want any tea P It's a bad sign when you begin to talk about your age; you must have upset yourself either in the Chambre or at some Board meeting.’ As she spoke she moved towards the little table, and her eyes fell upon the cups and plates she and René had used. Did she remember the Madonna-like rôle she had played in this very spot only a quarter of an hour ago, and the handsome young man for whose benefit she had assumed her most bewitching attitudes 2 And if such a thought really entered that pretty head, set in its coils of pale gold, did she feel any shame, any regiet, that the poet had gone, or only a kind of secret joy, such as these bold actresses feel in their moments of greatest hypocrisy She made the tea with as much care as she had bestowed on the process a few minutes before. Desforges had naturally slipped into the arm- chair just vacated by René, and Suzanne occupied her former seat as she sat listening to the Baron's talk. This estimable man had an unfortunate habit of dog- matising at times. He knew the world—that was his great boast, and he was justified in making it. Only, he attached a little too much 1mportance to this know- ledge. • ‘It was rather trying in the Chambre to-day, it is true,' he said. “I went to hear de Suave hurl his thunder- bolts at the Government. He still believes in Parlia mentary specches and in O1atorical triumphs. As ſol me, I have, of course, become a Sceptic, a grumbler, and a pessimist since the day when I refused office They are glad to have me in the House because my grand- father was a Prefect under one emperor and I a Coun- cillor of State under another. The name looks well at the bottom of a poster; but as for hearing me, that's another matter. And they have such respect for me, too ! When I drop in at the club in the afternoon I 94 A LIVING LIE find half-a-dozen of my friends, both young and old, engaged in restoring the monarchy whilst watching the girls pass, if it is summer, or between two deals at bézique in winter. When I come in you should see how quickly they change their faces and their conversa- tion, as if I were discletion itself. I should like to have told them a few home-truths to-day, just to 1elieve my feelings, but I went to the Rue de la Paix instead to get your earrings.’ With these words he took from his pocket a small leather case ; it was quite plain, without the jeweller's address, and as he held it out the fire flashed from the two splendid diamonds it contained, making Suzanne's eyes sparkle with delight. The case passed from the Baron's hands into hers, and after gazing at its contents for a moment, she closcq the little box and placed it among some other things on a small shelf beside her. The manner 1n which she accepted it would alone have sufficed to prove how accustomed she was to receiving similar presents. Then, turning to Desforges, her sweet face all aglow with pleasure, she exclaimed, “How good you are to me!’ ‘Don’t thank me It's pure selfishness,’ said the Baron, though evidently pleased by the impression the earrings had made. “It is I who Ought to thank you for being good enough to wear these poor stones—I do so love to see you look nice Ah!’ he added, ‘I had for- gotten to tell you—the famous port has arrived ; I shall send you half the consignment, and, by a stioke of good luck, I have managed to get the Watteau you admired so much for a mere song.’ “I shall have a chance of thanking you to-morrow, I hope, in the Rue du Mont-Thabor, she replied, darting a look at him ; “at four o'clock, isn't it P’ she added, dropping her eyes with a blush. If, endowed with the power of second sight, poor René, who had just returned home in a fit of idolatry, could have perceived her at that moment without hearing the conversation he would cer- THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE 95 tainly have seen in her noble face an expression of most divine modesty. But those downcast lids and the look she had given him had probably brought other thoughts to the Baron's mind, for his eyes grew bright, and the blood rushed to his cheeks—those cheeks which bore such evident traces of good living, a dangerous vice whose consequences Desforges was always trying to elude. “I hold the balance,’ he used to say, ‘between gout and apoplexy.' Giving his moustache a twirl, he changed the subject, and in a thick voice, by which his mistress could once more gauge the hold she had upon the senses of this hoaly sinner, asked, ‘Who will be in your box to-night?' ‘Only Madame Ethorel.’ ‘What men P’ “Etholel cannot come. There will be my husband —and, of couise, Crucé." ‘He must make a pretty little thing out of her, only in commission exclaimed Desforges. ‘He has just put her on to a picture for which she has paid twenty thousand francs—I’ll wager he got ten thousand out of it ’ ‘What a wretch l’ cried Suzanne. ‘She is such a fool,' remaiked the Baron, “and Crucé is known to be a connoisseur. Besides, if poor Etholel didn't have him to consult, his money would go just the same in absolute rubbish. All 1s fol the best in this best of possible worlds. Well, go on.’ ‘Little de Brèves and you. Halk ' ' she exclaimed, stopping to listen. “Some one is coming up—I have such an ear.’ And then, looking at the Baron in pre- cisely the same way she had looked at René, she added, with a pietty look of annoyance, “Mon Dieu ! What a bother Oh! It's no one,’ breaking into a Silvery laugh as the servant opened the door ; ‘it’s only my husband. Good afternoon, Paul.’ ‘That sounds very complimentary,” said the man who had just entered, a tall, well-built fellow with frank, 93 A LIVING LIE fearless eyes, and one of those pale but healthy com- plexions that reveal great energy. His features had that stamp of regularity which is only to be met with in Paris in very young men, fol a face of that kind in a man of mole than thirty-five indicates a perfectly clear conscience. The depth of his love was easily measured by the way in which Moraines looked at his wife, and his sincerity by the manner in which he shook hands with the Baron. After a hearty laugh at Suzanne's exclamation, he added, with mock glavity, ‘Am I int1uding, madame 2' “Do you want any tea P’ asked Suzanne, quietly ; ‘I must tell you that it's cold. “Yes, please,” or “No, thank you ?” ‘No, thank you,' 16plied Molaines, dropping into an arm-chair, and p1eparing his words as if to produce an effect, like some visitor. “Some husbands are real idiots, and I blush for the community. Have you heard about Hacqueville P The story was told me at the club just now. Haven't heard it, eh? Well, this morning he happens to open a letter addiessed to his wife which leaves no doubt as to the lady's virtue.' “Poor Mainterne,’ cried Suzanne, ‘ he was so fond of Lucie | * ‘That's the beauty of it,' shouted Molaines, in the triumphal accents of one who is about to astonish his hearers, ‘the letter didn't come from Mainterne, but Lavel din Lucie had more than two strings to her bow. And guess to whom Hacqueville takes the letter and looks for advice ’’ “To Maintelne, 1eplied the Balon. ‘You’ve heard the stoly 2’ ‘No,' rejoined Desforges, “but it seems so simple. And what did Mainterne say?’ ‘You may guess how indignant he was. Ilucie has gone to her mothel's, and a duel is announced between Hacqueville and Laverdin, in which the former 1nsists upon Mainterne being his second. Well, of all the fools THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE 97 I’ve seen, I think he is about the biggest. And he hasn't a single friend to open his eyes.’ ‘He'll find one,’ said the Baron, rising to go. ‘The moral of your story is, never wiite.’ ‘Won't you stay and dine with us, Frédéric P’ asked Moraines. ‘I have an engagement,’ replied Desforges, “but will meet you later at the Opera. Madame Moraines has been good enough to save me a seat.’ ‘In your box,’ rejoined Paul, with more truth than he thought. The Baron, who had been a widower for the past ten years, had kept his box at the Opera, and sublet it for alternate weeks to his excellent friends the Moraines. The rent, however, was never paid. The husband was as little aware of his wife's accommodating ways as he was of the impossibility of living as they did on their income of fifty thousand francs. The remnant of the wretched fortune left by the late Minister, Madame Moraines' father, who in fifteen years of office had saved almost nothing, fol med the half of this annual budget. The other half was the salary which Moraines got as Secretary to an insurance company, a place procured for him by Desforges. In spite of Suzanne's protests, Paul had not lost the deplorable habit of expatiating upon his wife's clever husbanding of their united income, which was very small for the world in which the Molaines lived. Thanks to his simple-minded confidence, he was the kind of man who, when his friends complained of the increasing severity of the struggle ſo life, would say, ‘You Ought to have a wife like mine—s/he knows where to get baigains She has a maid who is a perfect treasule, and who can turn out a diess as well as the best tailor l’ ‘You make me look ridiculous !’ Suzanne would often say ; but he loved hel too well to give up praising her, and now, just after Desforges had left, his first act was to take her hands in his and say, ‘How nice it is to have you all to myself fol a moment Kiss me, Suzanne' H 98 A LIVING LIE She gave him hel cheek and the corner of hel mouth, just as she had done to Desforges. “When I am told such tel rible stories as that,’ he continued, “it gives me quite a shock ; but I soon recover when I think that I have been lucky enough to get a little woman like yourself. Ah Suzanne, how I love you !’ ‘And yet I am sule you will scold me,’ she 1eplied, escaping from his embrace. ‘The woman you think so clever, and of whom you are so ploud, has been very foolish. Those diamonds, she went on, holding up the box brought by Desforges, ‘ that I told you about—well, I couldn’t 1esist them, and so I bought them.’ “But it's Out of your own savings,’ 1emalked Paul. ‘What fine stones / Do you want me not to scold you ? Then let me put them in.' ‘You’ll never be able to manage it,” she replied, holding up one of her dainty eals adorned with a plain pink pearl, which Paul slipped out deftly. Then came the turn of the other eal and the other pearl. He showed the same dexteilty in putting in the diamonds, touching his beloved as gently with his strong man's hands as any gill could have done. To look at he self, Suzanne took up a small mirror Set in a flame of antique silver, another present of the Baron's, and smiled. She looked so pretty at that moment that Paul diew her towards him, and, holding her 1n his alms, tried to obtain a kiss from her lips. As a rule, she nevel refused him this. Possibly, from some complication in her nature, she had managed to preserve, in spite of all, a kind of physical liking for this honest, manly fellow, whom she deceived in such a cruel fashion. What, then, had suddenly come over her, and made the usual kiss unbearable P. She pushed her husband away almost roughly, saying, “Oh let me alone’—then, as if to mitigate the harshness of hel tone, she added, ‘It’s ridiculous in an old married couple. Good-bye, I have hardly time to dress.’ With these words she passed into her bedroom, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE 99 and so into her dressing-1 oom. Of all the apartments in her home, this was the one in which the profound materialism that formed the basis of this woman's nature was most revealed. Her maid, Céline, a tall, dark girl with impenetrable eyes, commenced to undless her in this shrine of beauty, as gorgeously upholstered as that of any royal Courtesan, and anyone who had seen Suzanne at that moment would have understood that she was ready to do anything for the luxury of living in this atmosphere of Sup1eme refinement. This woman, so delicately fashioned that she seemed almost fragile, was one of those C1eatules who combine full hips with a slender waist, neat ankles with a well- turned leg, dainty wrists with rounded alms, small features with a full figure, and whose diesses, by hiding all such material chal ms, clothe them, as 16 were, with spirituality. She cast a glance at the long millor set in the centre of her waſ drobe, where, packed away in sweet-smelling Sachets, lay piles of embloidered linen ; seeing how well she looked she Smiled as there once more flashed acı OSS her brain the same idea that but a few moments ago had diagged her fi Om her husband's arms. This 1dea was evidently not one of those which it pleased hel to entertain, for she shook her head, and a few minutes later, having thi Own Over her bare neck and shouldeis a dressing-jacket of pale blue ſoula, d silk and put her naked feet into a pair of soft swans- down slippers, she gave herself up to the hands of her maid, who began to di CSS the long, Shining hair. The cool water in which she had bathed hel face had com- pletely restored hel self-possession, and in the mirrol before her she saw all the details of this apartment that she had turned into the chapel of her one 1eligion—hel beauty. All was reflected there—the soft-toned carpet, the bath of English porcelain, the wide marble washhand- stand with its silver fittings and its host of small toilet necessalies. Did the sight of all these things 1emind ; : *% . . . . º jo º * @ * * * , sº 2 º * * * IOO A LIVING LIE ſº e tº º g * her of the divers conditions that secured her this happy existence 2 In any case, it was of her husband she was thinking when she exclaimed, “The dear, good fellow !’ The sparkling diamonds that she had kept in her ears recalled thoughts of Desforges, and following close upon the other came the mental exclamation, “Dear, kind friend ' ' These two contradictory impressions became as easily reconciled in the head adorned with those long silken tresses as the two facts welle reconciled in life. Women excel in these moral mosaics, which appear less monstrous when the process of their construction has been calefully watched. This fair Parisian of thirty was certainly as thoroughly corruptcd as it is possible to be ; but, to do her justice, 1t must be said at once that she was unawale of it, so passive had she been with regard to the circumstances that had gradually reduced her to this state of unconscious 1mmolality. When Suzanne had allowed hel self to be married to Paul Moraines two years before the war of 1870 she had felt neither 1 epugnance nor enthusiasm. The matter had been arianged by the two families ; old Molaines, a senator ever since the establishment of the Second Empire, belonged to the same set as old Bois- Dauffin, and Paul, who was then an officer of the Council of State, a good dancer and a charming ladies' man, seemed made for her, as she did for him. For the first two years they formed what is called in women's parlance ‘a sweet couple ; it was one round of balls, suppers, and theatre parties, with 1 ural festivities in summer and hunting palties in autumn, all of which both of them enjoyed to the full. Paul himself well defined the kind of relations that bound him to his wife amidst these continual pleasules. “You ale as bewitch- ing as a mistress, he would say to her as he kissed her in the brougham that took them home at one in the morning The 1evolution of the Fourth of September put an ... end to this faily-like existence. The families on both gº * • *, * THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE for sides had lived on large salaries that were suddenly stopped, but this stoppage had no immediate effect upon the gratification of their expensive tastes. Until his death, which occurred in 1873, Bois-Dauffin was con- vinced of the Speedy restoration of a régame that had been so strong, So well supported, and SO popular. The ex-Senator, who survived his friend only a few months, shared his Sanguine d1 eams. Paul had, of course, lost his place at the Council of State. He possessed, to an even gleater cztent than his father and his father-in-law, that blind faith in the success of the cause which will always remain an Original trait of the Imperialist party. Suzanne, who had no faith of any kind, commenced to be troubled in 1873 by a very clear vision of the 1u1n towards which she and her husband were steel ing by living, as they did, on their capital. This was piccisely the moment when Frédé11c Desforges commenced to pay her Coult. This man, who was then not yet fifty, had remained the most brilliant representative of the generation that had come in with the Second Empile, and which had for its chief the clear-sighted and seductive Duc de Molny. In Suzanne's eyes the Baron's highest 1ecommendation lay in the romantic tales of gallantry that were told of him in the diawing-room, and Soon this prestige was supplemented by his indisputable superiority in the knowledge and management of Parisian Society. Hav- ing been left a childless widower after a brief union, with almost nothing to do, for his parliamentary duties did not trouble him much, and with an income of four hundred thousand francs a year, exclusive of his mansion in the Cours-la-Reine, his estate 1n Anjou and his chalet at Deauville, the fol mer favour 1te of the famous Duke had the rare courage to allow himself to glow old—just as his leadei had had the courage to die. He wished to form one last attachment that would bear cultivating until his sixtieth year, and plocule him not only an agreeable and accommodating mistress, but a IO2 A LIVING LIE pleasant circle in which to spend his evenings. He had taken in the position of Madame Moraines at a glance, and decided that this was exactly the kind of woman he wanted—extremely pietty and graceful, guaranteed against all plobability of maternity by six years of childless malried life, and possessing a presentable husband, who would never become a blackmailel. The crafty Baron Summed up all these advantages, and by gradually worming his way into Suzanne's confidence, by ploving his devotion in getting Moraines his Secreta1yship, by making her accept presents upon p1esents, and by showing that exquisite tact of a man who only asks to be tolerated, he at last got hel to con- sent to his wishes. All this, too, was done so slowly and so Impel ceptibly, and the Zaaison, when once esta- blished, became so simple and so closely bound up with hel daily life, that the criminality of hel 1elations with Desforges scarcely ever seemed to strike Suzanne. What wi ong was she doing Moraines, after all P Was she not his wife, and 1eally attached to him P. As for the Baron, it is true that he plovided a very fair share of the luxuries in which she indulged. But what of that? May not a woman receive presents P If he paid a bill here, and a bill there, did that hult anyone P. She was his m1stless, but their relationship was clothed in an air of respectability that made1t seem almost like a legitimate union. She had become so accustomed to this compro- mise with her conscience that she considered herself, if not quite an honest woman, at least vastly Supel 10r in virtue to a number of her friends with whose various 1ntrigues she was acquainted. If her conscience 1e- proached her at all, 1t was for having deceived Desforges, two years after the beginning of their intimacy, with a swell clubman, whom she had carried off from one of hel friends during the racing season at Deauville. This individual had, however, almost compromised hel so fatally, and she had been so quick to detect in him the self-conceit of a mere flilt, that she had been only too THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE 103 glad to sever the connection at once. Thereupon she had sworn to restrict herself to the peaceful delights of her three-cornered arrangement—to Paul's gentlemanly ways and the Baron's Epicurean gallantry. And so carefully had she kept her resolve, and with such attention to Outward appearance, that her good name was as safe as it could be in the enviable position to which her beauty raised her. She had rivals who were too well accustomed to drawing up accounts not to know that the Moraines were living at the rate of eighty thousand francs a year ; ‘and we knew them when they were almost beggars,’ added these kind people “Scandal ' ' cried all the Baron's filends in chorus, and he had a way of making friends everywhere. ‘Scandall’ cried the simple- minded people who are shocked by the tales of 1nfamy that go the 10und of the drawing-1 ooms every night. “Scandall' added the wiseacres, who know that the best thing to do in Paris is to pretend to believe nothing, and to take people at their own value. Recollections of the innumerable services that Desforges had rendered her were no doubt running through Suzanne's mind as, seated before her toilet table, she exclaimed, “The dear, kind friend l’ Why, then, did the Baron's face, intelligent but worn, suddenly make way for another and a younger face, adorned with an ideal beard and lit up by a pair of dark blue eyes that 1eflected all the ardoul of a vilgin and enthusiastic soul ? Why, whilst Céline's nimble fingels were busy with laces and hooks, would an inner voice continually murmur the sweet music of these four syllables—René Vincy P What secret temptation was she resisting when she whispered again and again the word, ‘Impossible' ' She had seen the poet twice. That she, the mistress, almost the pupil, of the elegant Desforges; she, the very pattern of the Society belle, who had sold herself for all this fine perfumed linen in which she wiapped her beauty —fol these soft, silken skirts which her maid was now fastening about her waist and for the countless luxuries IO4. A LIVING LIE that a licentious woman of fashion delights in, that she could so forget herself as to be captivated by the eyes and wolds of a chance poetastel, seen to-day and forgotten to-mol row, was well nigh 1mpossible. She had said ‘Impossible !’ and yct helc she was thinking of him again. How strange it was that ever since meeting René she had been unable to rid herself of the alluring hope of winning him If anyone had used that old- fashioned phlase, ‘Love at filst sight,’ in her hearing, she would have shrugged those pretty shoulders whose graceful contours welle now revealed by her low-necked Opera gown and whose whiteness was enhanced by the single string of pealls she wore ; and yet, what other wolds could describe the sudden and ardent feelings that her meeting with the poet had inspired—feelings that were hourly glowing mole intense P The fact of the matter was that for some months past Suzanne had been somewhat boled between hel husband—‘the dear, good fellow ’—and her ‘dear, kind friend,’ the Baron. The life of pleasure and of luxury for which she had made so many sacrifices seemed to her empty and dull. This she called “being too happy.” ‘I ought to have a little trouble,” she would say, with a laugh. Incessant indulgence had destroyed her appetite fol enjoyment and made her a prey to the molal and physical weariness that frequently causes demi-mondaines to suddenly throw up a position which it has cost them much labour to attain. They 1equire fresh Sensations, and, above all, that of love. They will commit any folly when once they have met the man who is able to make them feel something beyond their former empty delights —one whom their less elegant Sisters would expressively term ‘their sort.’ For Madame Moraines, who had just attained her thirtieth year, and who, satiated as she was with every kind of luxury, with no ambition to realise, and without the least respect for the men she met in her set, the ap- parition of a new being like René, so entirely different THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PICTURE Io; to the usual drawing-room ‘Swell,’ might and did become an event in its way. It was curiosity that led her to take a seat next to him at Madame Komof's suppel- table, and hel feminine tact had at once told her 1n what rôle she would be most seductive in his eyes. His conversation had delighted her, but on her return home she had gone to sleep after uttering the ‘Impossible !’ which is used as a charm against all complaints of this kind by Society belles, a class mole bound down in their narrow paths of pleasure than any busy housewife by her daily duties. Then René had called, and the 1m- pression he had alieady made on her was intensified a hundred-fold. She was pleased with all she saw or imagined in the young man—his good looks, his true- heartedness, his awkwardness, and his timidity. It was in vain that she kept 1epeating ‘Impossible !’ as she put the finishing touch to her dress by fastening one on two diamond pins in her bodice—in spite of that word she was already capitulating. She turned the 1dea ovel again and again, and all kinds of plans for b11nging the adven- ture to a successful issue passed through her practical mind ‘Desforges is very shalp, she reflected, adding, as she remembered the Baron's tirade against literary men, “and he has already Smelt a rat.’ This tirade had at first affolded her amusement, but now it annoyed her, and made her feel a desire to act in a manner en- tirely opposed to hel excellent friend's wishes. She was so completely absol bed in thought that it attracted her maid's attention, and caused that young person to say to the footman, ‘There's something wrong with Madame. Can Monsieur have found out anything 2' This unleasonable and iriesistible abstraction lasted all through dinner, then on the way to the theatre, and even during the performance, until Madame Ethorel suddenly remarked, ‘Isn't that Monsieu Vincy looking at us over there—in the stalls neal the door on the 1ight?' ‘Madame Komof's poet P’ asked Suzanne indiffe- IO6 A LIVING LIE rently. During René's visit she had mentioned that she was going to the Opera that night. She 1emembered it now as she put up her own glasses, mounted in chased Silver—another plesent from the Balon. She saw René, and as he timidly turned away his glance a sudden thrill 1an through her. Had Desforges, from his place at the back of the box, overheard Madame Ethorel's remark 2 No, she thought not ; he was in deep con- versation with Crucé. ‘He is talking shop, she said to herself as she listened, ‘and has heald nothing. What is going on in me?’ It was the first time for many a day that the music touched some chord of feeling within hel. She spent the evening between the happiness that René's presence caused hel and the mortal dread that he might visit hel in her box. The shame of having been remarked no doubt palalysed the poet, for he dared not even look towards the place where Suzanne Sat, and when she went down to hel cal riage his face was not to be seen in the double row of men who lined the staircase. There was therefore nothing to prevent hel from giving herself up to the idea that had obtained such a hold upon her, and as she laid her fair head upon the lace- covered pillow she had got so far as to say: ‘Provided he doesn't ask his filend Lalcheſ for information about me!’ CHAPTER IX AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE EVERY molning a little beſole nine Paul Molaines entered his wife's room. By that time she had had her bath and was employed in attending to little trifles. Her small white feet, showing their blue veins, played in and out of hel slippers, her dressing gown of soft AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE IO7 clinging material was gathered round her slim waist by a silken cord, and her hair hung down in a thick golden plait. The bedroom, in which the big bedstead took up a good deal of Space, was aired and perfumed, and to Paul the thiee-quartels of an hour he spent in taking his morning cup of tea with Suzanne at a little table near the window was the happiest part of the day. He had to be at his office by ten, and was too busy to come home for lunch. He was the kind of man who sits down in a first-class restaurant about half-past twelve, orders the plat du four, a small bottle of wine, and a Cup of Coffee, and goes away after having spent the Smallest sum possible It pleased him to rival his wife's economy in this fashion. But his morning Cup of tea was the reward he looked forwald to during the six or seven hours he devoted to the Company's work. ‘There are some days,’ he would say in his simple way, “when I should see nothing of you if it were not for this thrice blessed cup of tea l’ It was he who served her ; he buttered hel toast with infinite care and watched her dainty teeth attack the crisp morsels He was uneasy when, as on the molning after she had seen René at the Opera, her eyes wele not quite so bright as usual and a look of fatigue showed that she had not had sufficient sleep. All night had she been tormented by thoughts of the young poet, and by the stir he had made amongst the small bundle of remnants she called her feelings. Her mind being before all else clear and precise—the mind of a business man at the service of a p1etty woman's whims—she had reviewed the means at her disposal fol giatifying her passionate caprice. The first condition was that she should see René again, and see him often ; now, that was impossible at hel own house, as was proved by her husband's words that vely morning. After a few tender inquiries concerning her health, he asked, ‘Did you have many visitois yester- day?' IO8 A LIVING LIE “None at all, she replied ; and it being her custom never to tell an unnecessary fib, she added, ‘only Desfolges and that young fellow who wrote the play performed at Madame Komof's the other night.” “René Vincy,’ 1emarked Molaines. “I’m sorly I missed him—I like his work very much. What is he like P Is he presentable P’ ‘He's nothing much,' answeled Suzanne ; ‘ quite insignificant.” ‘Did Desforges see him P’ ‘Yes—why?’ “I’ll ask the Balon about him. I dare say he took his measure at the first glance. He has a rare know- ledge of men.’ ‘That's just like him,” said Suzanne, when Moraines was gone, after having devoured her with kisses; ‘he tells the Baron everything’ She foresaw that the first person to tell Desforges of René's frequent visits to the Rue Murillo, if she got the poet to come, would be Paul himself. “He is really too silly, she went on, getting out of patience with him for his absolute confidence in the Baron, which she had herself been most instrumental in inspiring. But now she was beginning to flet under the first feelings of restraint. Thoughts of René ran through her head all the morning, which was spent in looking over accounts and in 1eceiving the visit of Madame Leloux, her mani- cure, a person of ripe age, extremely devout, with a Sanctimonious and discreet air, who waited on the most aristociatic hands and feet in Palis. As a 1ule Suzanne, who, with perfect justice, looked upon inferiors as the principal source of all Society Scandal, had a long talk with Madame Leroux, partly to procure her good-will, partly to hear a good many details concerning those whom the altiste deigned to honour with her services. Madame Leroux was therefore never tired of singing the praises of that charming Madame Moraines, ‘so un- affected and so good. She absolutely worships her AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE IO9 husband.’ But that day none of the manicure's flattery could draw a single word from her fair client. The desire that had seized hold of the latter grew stronger and stronger, whilst the obstacles that stood in the way of its gratification assumed a clearer and more uncompromising shape. To gain a man's love requires time and opportunities of meeting. René did not go into Society, and if he had done so it would have been worse still, for other women would have taken him from her. Here, in her home in the Rue Murillo, she could have wormed her way into his virgin heart so easily—and only the Baron's watchfulness prevented her. It was the first time for some years that she felt helself fettered, and a fit of angel against the man to whom she owed all she had came over her. Filled with such thoughts as these she lunched as usual alone, and in very flugal fashion. Even with the generous assist- ance of her benefactor she could only make both ends meet by practising economy in things that would not be noticed, such as the table In her solitude she felt so miserable and at the same time so utterly powerless that, as she rose, the cly almost escaped her, “What is the use of it, after all P’ What was the use of it all, indeed P. She was a slave. Not only could she not see René as she wished in her own house, but that vely afternoon, in spite of the new sentiments that were springing up within her, she had to keep an appointment with Desforges. ‘What is the use of 1t P’ she repeated, as she got herself ready to go out, putting on a pail of tiny shoes 1nstead of boots, a plain dress that fastened in front, a black bonnet, and in her pocket a thick veil. She had ordered her carriage for two o'clock—a brougham and pair that she hired by the month for the afternoon and evening. On getting into it she was so crushed by the weight of her slavery that she could have cried. What, then, were her feelings when, on turning the corner of I IO A LIVING LIE the street, she saw René Standing theie, evidently wait- ing to see hel pass P Their eyes met. He took his hat off with a blush, and she too could not help blushing 1m the corner of her cal riage, so great was the pleasulable revulsion of feeling caused by this unexpected meeting, and especi- ally by the idea that he must be in love with her. She, the cleature of calculation and deceit, fell into one of those piofound 1 everies in which women, when in love, anticipate all the delights to which the sentiment they experience and inspire can give b11th. At such a moment they will give themselves up 1m thoughts to the man they did not know a week ago. If they daled, they would give themselves up too, there and then, though this would not hinder them from persuading the man who conqueled them at the filst glance that their subjugation was a work of time and degrees. In this they are right, for man's stupid vanity is glatified by the difficulties of the conquest, and few have sense enough to understand the divine quality of love that is spontaneous, natural, and 11 resistible. Whilst the poet walked off, saying to himself, ‘ I am undone—she will never forgive me for such folly,’ Suzanne was in one of those transports of delight before which prudence 1tself gives way, and, folgetting her feals of the morning, she now saw hel way to cal rying Out one of those S1mple plans such as only the eminently realistic mind of a woman can concoct. She had set hel Self the task of deceiving a vely sharp man, and one who was well acquainted with hel disposition. The best thing to do, the efore, was to act in a mannel exactly contraly to what that man would expect and foresee. Mattels must be piecipitated ; René must be brought to her feet after two or thiee visits, and she must surrender before he had had time to woo her; Des- forges would never Suspect her of such an escapade—he who knew her to be SO circumspect, so cautious, and so clever. But what if the poet despiscq hel for hel too easy AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE I I I surrender P She shook her pretty head incredulously as this objection occurled to her. That was a matter of tact and of woman's wit, and there she was Sure of her ground ! Her joy at having roughly worked out this problem and the Joy of deceiving the subtle Balon became so strangely mixed that she now looked forward to her appointment not only without 1egret, but with malicious delight. On reaching the colonnades in the Rue de Rivoli she got out as usual and sent the carriage home. The house in which the Baron had taken rooms for his meetings with Suzanne possessed two entrances, an advantage SO uncommon in Paris that buildings favoured in that way ale not only well known, but Imuch sought after by transgressors of the Seventh Commandment. Flédélic was too Intimately acquainted with this phase of Parisian life to have fallen into the error of going to a place whose 1 eputation was alieady made. The house he had somewhat accidentally hit upon must have escaped discovely by reason of its sedate and dismal-looking fiontage 1n the Rue du Mont-Thabor, where he had taken the first floor, con- S1sting of an ante-room and three othel apartments. The rooms were kept in O1 del by his valet, a man on whom he could thoroughly 1ely, thanks to the liberal wages he gave him. Considc1able regard had been paid to what must be called the comfort of pleasure in furnishing this Small Suite, where the hangings and curtains deadened the noises ſiom without, where soft skins were thiown down here and there fol naked feet, where the countless mirrors leminded one of similar but less decorous places, and where the low alm-chairs and couches invited those long, familiar talks in which lovels delight. In a word, the minute care bestowed upon this interior would alone have betrayed the extent of the Baron's sensualism. Suzanne had so often come to this house during the past few years, she had so often tied on hel thick veil I I 2 A LIVING LIE in the doorway in the Rue de Rivoli, so often hastencil past the porter's lodge that she had come to perform almost mechanically these rites of adultely which pro- cule novices such exquisite emotions. To-day, as she mounted the stalls, she could not help thinking how differently she would feel if she were going to meet René Vincy instead of the Baron in this quiet retreat. She knew so well exactly what would happen. Des- forges would be there and have everything prepared for her reception, from the flowers in the vases to the bread and butter for tea ; then, at a given moment, she would go into the diessing-room and come out in a loose lace gown, hel hall hanging about her shoulders and her little feet encased in slippers similar to those she wore 1n the morning She took not the least pleasure in all this, but the Bal on had such a chal ming way of show- 1ng his glatitude for the favous she granted him and displayed so much wit and affection during their long talks together that it was fiequently he who had to 1emind his mistless that it was time to go. To-day the state of her mind and feelings piompted Suzanne herself to say, as soon as she had enteled the room, ‘ I am vely sorly, Flédéric deal, but I shall have to leave you lather eally.” “Has it put you out to come 2' asked the Baron as he helped hel off with her cloak. ‘Why didn't you send me a line to countermand our appointment?’ ‘He is 1eally too kind, thought Suzanne, feeling some slight 1 cmorse for hel unnecessary fib. Taking her hat off before the glass the flash of hel diamond eat rings caught her eye, and suddenly 1 eminded her of all that she owed this man, who asked for so little in return. False situations sometimes give rise to conscientious paradoxes, and it was a feeling of honesty that impelled this woman to come and seat herself on the arm of the Baron's easy chair and to sigh, “I should have been terribly disappointed myself. Will you never believe AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE II 3 that I am 1eally glad to come hele 2—I owe him that at least, she thought, and in further obedience to her strange qualms of conscience she contrived to be more than usually fascinating and docile during the whole of their fate-d-16te. At the end of a couple of houls, whilst she was lying back half buried in one of the great arm-chairs, enjoying a caviar sandwich and a thimbleful of fine old sherry, Desforges, who was watching her dainty movements as she ate, could not help exclaiming : ‘Ah ! Suzon | At my age, too ! What would Noirot say ?’ This Noirot who had so suddenly troubled the Baron's mind was a doctor who treated him to a course of massage every morning and watched ovel his general health. Everything in the life of this systematic voluptual y was ca1efully planned Out, from the amount of exercise to be taken each day to the attendance he should receive when in his dotage. He had taken into his house a poor and pious female 1elative, to whose good wolks he annually subscribed a pretty 1ound sum. When complimented on his geneiosity, he would reply in his own joculal and cynical way: “What can I do 2 I must have some one to look after me in my old age My cousin will be my nulse, and make the best one in Paris.’ Generally these outbusts of unblushing egotism amused Suzanne. She saw in them a conception of life whose pronounced materialism was far from displeasing her. But to-day she looked a little mole closely at the Baion as he uttered his doctol's name, and sitting the c with the lamp-light full upon his wrinkled face, his diooping moustache and his swollen eyelids, he looked so broken down and so fully his age that the hideous- ness of her own life suddenly bul St upon hel. It is a horrible thing for a young and beautiful woman to endule the ca1esses of a man she docs not love, cven when that man is young, full of passion and a dour. But when he is boldeling on old age, when he pays for I II.4. A LIVING LIE the right to pollute this fail woman whose love he can- not win, then it is prostitution so terrible that disgust gives way to sorrow. For the filst time, perhaps, Desforges looked old in Suzanne's eyes, and by an irresistible 1mpulse of her whole soul she called to mind, as a contrast, the fresh lips and fair young face of the man whose image had haunted her for the past two days. She felt how foolishly she had behaved in hesitating for an instant, and, being a person of determination, she commenced to act at once. She was now dressed, and having put on her bonnet and buttoned hel gloves, she said to Desforges before tying on hel veil, ‘When ale you coming to lunch with me . Once upon a time you often used to come without being asked—1t was So nice of you.’ ‘To-morlow I can't,' he 1eplied, ‘nor the next day eithel, but the day after that—— ‘Tuesday, then P. That's an understood thing. And to-night I shall sce you at Madame de Sermoises', sha’n’t I P ‘Charming woman l’ thought the Balon, as he was left alone. “She might have so many adventures, and hel only thought 1s of pleasing me.’ ‘The day aftel to-mol low, then, I am sule of being alone,’ said Suzanne to hel self as she swept along the pavement of the Rue du Mont-Thabor, casting cautious glances to the 11ght and left, but with such art that hel eyes scarcely seemed to move. ‘But what czcuse can I give René’—she already called him by that name in hel thoughts— to make him come 2 I know—I’ll ask him to wiite a few lines on a copy of the “Sigisbée" that I’m going to send to a fi Iend.’ She had to pass a bookselle's in the Rue Castiglione, and went in to buy the book, being in that state of mind when the execution of an 10ea follows almost automati- cally upon its conception. “I hope he'll not do anything foolish before then. And I hope he won't hear anything about me that will dampen his ardour.” Claude Larcher AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE 115 once more came into her mind. ‘Yes—he's certainly dangerous, she thought, and saw at once the means of avoiding the danger provided René came to her before speaking to Claude. Then 1t suddenly stiuck her that she did not know the poet's address, but that difficulty could be got over by calling on Madame Komof. ‘It is past six now, and she is sure to be at home.’ Hailing a cab, she drove to the Rue du Bel-Respiro, and was lucky enough to find the Comtesse alone, from whom 16 was easy to obtain the information she wanted. The worthy lady, whose soirée had been a success, was loud in her p1aise of the poet. ‘Adéa/ /’ she ex- claimed, with one of her wild gesticulations, ‘charming ! And so modest ! He will be your modeln Poushkin.” “Do you know where he lives 2' 1nquired Suzanne. ‘He called on me and only left his name.’ No soonel had her note been written and sent than she became a pley to that uncertainty upon which new- born love thrives so well that in those days when the stiange but not unintellectual vice of seduction was still fashionable the professors of the art used to dwell upon the importance of invoking the aid of this feverish con- dition. Would René come or not 2 If he came, what would he look like P She would be able to see at once by his face if any- thing had happened to impail the 1mpression she was sule she had made upon him the othel day The houl that she had fixed in hel note at length al 11yed, and when the poet was announced Suzanne's heart beat faster than did that of hel Simple lover. She looked at him and read to the bottom of his Soul. Yes, she was still to him the Madonna she had pletended to be fiom the first with that facility of metamorphosis peculiar to these Protei in petticoats. In his soft daik blue eyes she perceived both joy and feat—joy at seeing hel again so soon, and in her own home ; fear at appearing befol C this angel of purity after having dared to look for her at the Opera and to wait for her at the corner of the street. I 2 I I6 A LIVING LIE This time the charming actress had devised a new background for her beauty. She was seated near the window, and with some bundles of silk thread and the aid of a few pins was working a pattern upon a drum of green cloth. Behind her the lace curtains were drawn back in their bands, and the visitor's gaze could rest upon the landscape of the Parc Monceau, upon the pale blue sky, the bale trees, the yellow grass, and the dark ivy that grew about the 1u1ns. A February sun lit up this wintry prospect, and its rays fell caressingly upon Suzanne's hair with 1ts soft golden sheen. A white diess, made in fanciful style, with long, wide sleeves and trimmings of violets, gave her the appearance of a lady of the M1Cldle Ages. Her feet, encased in silk stockings of the same shade as the ti Imming of her dress, were modestly crossed upon a low footstool. Had she been told that less than forty-eight hours ago these same modest feet had wandered across the ca1 pets of what was almost a house of 111-fame, that this hair had been handled by an aged lover who paid her, that she was in fact kept by Desforges, she would probably have denied the statement in perfect Since11ty, so closely did her desire to please René make hel identify hersetſ With the *&e she was playing.— The poet could not be awale of this. He had spent three days in one continual state of exaltation, feeling his desile increase houly, and very glad to feel 11. The beginning of a passion 1s as alluring at twenty-five as at thirty-five it is terrifying. Suzanne's note had given him unmistakable proofs that the trifling impludences which he himself looked upon as a crime had not given gleat displeasure, but in matters that concern us very closely we always find flesh motives fol doubt, and this grown- up child had been Silly enough to fear the reception that awaited him. How delighted he was, therefore, to be met with the simple familiarity, the beaming eyes, and the sweet Smile of this woman whom, seated in the fore- ground of the wintry landscape, he immediately com- AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE I 17 pared to those saints whom the early masters set in the midst of gleen fields and placid lakes. But this was a saint whose gown had been made by the first tailor in Paris, a Saint from whom there emanated that odour of heliotrope which had already played such havoc with the poet's Senses, and through the opening of whose long, wide sleeves two golden bands were seen clasping an arm as white as Snow. What René had so much feared did not take place. Madame Molaines did not make the slightest allusion either to the Opera or to their meeting at the corner of the street. Fol some time she continued her work, having quite naturally brought the conversation round from Madame Komof's enthusiasm to the poet's plans for the futule. She, who could not have distinguished Béranger from Victor Hugo, or Volta11e from Lamar- tine, spoke like one entirely devoted to literature She had met Théophile Gautier two or three times under the Empire, and though she had scarcely looked at him on account of his complete lack of British elegance, this did not prevent her from giving the enthusiastic René a minute description of the great writer. He had În- terested her to such a degree—she thought she must still have some of his letters. “I must find them for you, she said Then, 1.cminded by this lie, she added, ‘I am solry to have put you to all this inconvenience for your autograph, but my fliend leaves fol Russia to-morrow.’ ‘What shall I write P' asked René. ‘Whatever you please, she said, rising to get the book, and placing it on her ivy-mantled desk. She got everything 1eady for him to make his task easier— opened the ink-pot with its silver top and put a fresh pen in the ivory and gold penholder; in doing this she contrived to touch René lightly in passing to and fro, enveloping him with her sweet perfume and causing his hand to tremble as he copied on the fly-sheet of the I IS A LIVING LIE book the two verses which kind Madame Etholel had called a sonnet : The phantom of a day long dead Appeared, with hand stretched out to show A fair white rose whose bloom was fled, And in my car it whispered low, ‘Where is thy heart of long ago? Where is that hope thy fond heart chose So like this lose in days of yole P Dear was the hope and dear the lose. How sweet their perfume helctofore When once they bloomed ! They bloom no mole.’ When he had finished writing Madame Moraines took the book fiom his hands, and, standing behind him, recited the verses in a low, almost inaudible, voice, as if to hel Sclf. She added no word of p1aise or criticism, but, after having 1ead out the lines with a sigh, 1emained standing there as though their music lent an infinitely tender tone to hel 1 ever 1e. René gazed at hel almost wild with cmotion. How could he have resisted such sweet and sup1eme flattery as that which she had just employed to captivate him, appealing, as 16 did, both to his vanity as an alt1st and to his highest conceptions of beauty P And, indeed, she had managed to fall into a splendid Žose whilst reading. She knew how charming she looked with half- averted face and eyes cast down. But suddenly she turned these glorious cycs, now eloquent with the feelings 1nSp11ed by his lines, full upon the poet, and almost asked pal don fol hel tempol aly abst1action. She scemed to step out of he poetic visions as though she were aflaid of p1 Ofaning them, and with a culiosity this time as 1eal as hel al tificial cmotion was appalent, she said: ‘I am sule you did not wiite these lines for your play P’ ‘That is true, 1eplied René, with another blush. He had scruples about lying to this woman, even to please her. But how could he tell hel the sad and AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE I IQ wretched story which, with a poet's touch, he had transformed into a romantic idyll P “Ah! you men l’ she went on, without waiting for further reply—‘how full your life is, and how flee But you must not think I am complaining. We Christian wives know out duty, and a beautiful one it is—obedience ' After a moment's silence she added : ‘Alas! we do not always choose our master,’ and then, in a tone of mingled resignation and pride that both suggested and folbade ful the speculation, ‘ I am Soriy I have not been able to int1 oduce you to Monsieu1 Moraines yet I hope you will like him He is not much 1ntelestcd in alt, but he is a vely clever man in business. Unfortunately—wº-live in an age when O11C º in Islael to get on well 'P.C.C.T. STmay be imagined, theſe was not the slightest anti-Semitic feeling 1n Suzanne, who was always very glad to receive invitations to dine at two or thiee Jewish houses of princely hospitality, but it had struck her that these words would intensiſy the halo of picty with which she had endeavoured to invest herself in the poet's eyes ‘You will find my husband somewhat 1esel ved at first,’ she continued ; “1t was my ambition to make my diaw- ing-1 oom a 1endez-vous of wiiters and altists, but you know that business men are a little Jealous of you all, and then Monsieur Molaines doesn't cale for society much. He was not at Madame I&omof's the othel night; he likes to move just in a small c11cle, and have only well-known faces about him.’ She spoke with an air of constraint, as if she meant to say, ‘You must excuse me 1f I cannot ask you to come and see me here as I should like ’ This con- strained air also meant that this lovely woman must have been sacrificed (not that she was ever heald to complain) to cold social considerations which take no account whatevel of sentiment. Alleady, in René's imagination, Paul Moraines, that amiable and jovial fellow, had become a Crotchety and bad-tempered I 20 A LIVING LIE husband, to whom this creature of a Superior race was bound by the terrible chains of duty. In addition to the passion that animated him, he felt for her that pity which the less a woman deserves it the more she loves to inspire. Tempering the pointedness of his reply by the generality in which he clothed it, he made bold to say, ‘I wish I could tell you how often, when I have wan- dered as far as the Champs-Elysées, I have longed to know the secret of the sadness I imagined I saw on certain faces It has always seemed to me that the troubles of the wealthy are the worst, and that mental anguish in the midst of material well-being is most to be pitied She looked at him as if his words surprised her. In her eyes was that look of rapt and involuntary astonish- ment worn by a woman when she suddenly discovers in a man a shade of sentimentalism which she believed to be restricted to her own sex. ‘I think we shall soon become friends,’ she said, ‘for there is much in our hearts that 1s similar. Ale you like me? I believe in sympathy and antipathy by sheer instinct, and I think I can also feel when people don't like me. Now—perhaps I am wrong in telling you this, but I speak to you in confidence, as if I had known you a long time—there is your friend Monsieur Larcher; I am sure that he doesn’t like me.’ She was really agitated as she said this, for she was now about to learn for certain, not whether Claude had been speaking 111 of her—she knew he had not by René's face—but whether the poet could hold his tongue. She was well aware that in a love affair the dangelous time for imprudent confidences lies at the beginning and the end. Your only sure men are those who can keep their peace when their hearts are overflowing with hope or bitterness. By René's reply she would be able to judge an important trait In his character, and one that was a principal factor in the plan that she had madly and AN ACTRESS IN REAL LIFE I 2 I rapidly evolved. It was only natural that he should have confided his passion to Claude on the very day of its birth—and he would have done so, too, had it not been for Colette's presence. This detail was, of course, unknown to Suzanne, and René's silence was a promise of prudence that set her heart beating. ‘We have never mentioned your name,’ said the poet; ‘but, as you remarked only too justly the other evening, he has always been particularly unfortunate in his love affairs, and he cannot shake his troubles off. If you could but see how he carries on with the woman he is miserably in love with at the present moment l’ ‘That is no reason,’ said Suzanne, ‘why he should revenge himself by forcing his attentions upon any woman chance throws 1n his way. I got quite angry one day when he was seated next to me at table I heard, too, that he had been speaking ill of me, but I have forgiven him.’ ‘And now Claude may say what he likes, she thought when René had gone after promising to come again in three days' time and to bring his collection of unpublished poems. Then she looked at herself in the glass with unfeigned satisfaction The Interview had been a success; she had made the poet understand that she could not receive him in the ordinary way; she had put him on his guard against his best friend, and she had completed her capture of his healt. ‘He is mine, she cried, and this time hel joy was sincele and deep. CHAPTER X I N T H E TO I L S SUZANNE thought she was very clever—and not with- out reason ; but by being too clever people often defeat their own ends, Accustomed to confound love and I 22 A LIVING LIE mere gallantly, she knew nothing of the generous expan- sion of feeling to be found in one so young as the object of her semi-1omantic, semi-sensual captice. She pre- sumed that the insidious accusation she had thrown out against Claude would put René on his guard. It resulted, however, in giving the poet an iriesistible desile to talk to Larchel. It gl 1eved him to think that the latter should entertain a false opinion of Madame Molaines Which of us, at twenty-five, has not felt a desire that out dearest friend should 1cselve a special place in his esteem fol the woman we loved P. It is as strong then as is at forty the wise desire to hide our- selves most of all fiom that same fiend. René's first act on leaving Suzanne was to proceed at once to the Rue de Valenne. He had not been to see Claude since the day when he had met Colette in his rooms, and as he passed through the gateway and made his way across the spacious Coultyard he could not help comparing this visit with his last. They were separated by a very few houls only, but yet by what a gulf! The poet was a prey to that fever of delight which makes reasoning 1mpossible He did not reflect that his Madonna had been wonderfully clever in b11nging matters to Such a pass So Soon. The amazing rapidity with which his hopes wele being realised only delighted him, and showed him how strong his love really was He felt so light and happy that he bounded up the old staircase two steps at a time, Just as he used to do when as a boy he came home fiom School after 1eaching the top of the class To-day Lalcher's man admitted him without the slightest hesitation, but he wore such a long face that René asked him what was the matter. ‘It isn't right, sil,” sighed Ferdinand, shaking his head. ‘Master has been at it now for forty-eight houls— writing, writing, writing—and with only about six hours' sleep altogether. You ought really to tell him, sir, that he'll damage his constitution. Why can't he get into a IN THE TOILS I 23 nice, comfortable habit of working a little every day, like everybody else P’ The man's wise remonstrances prepared René for the sight that he knew so well—the ‘den' in which he had seen Colette enthroned turned 1nto a writer's work- shop. He went in. The broad leather-covered couch on which the glaceful but frivolous actress had 1 eclined was now covered with sheets of papel flung down and covered with great Straggling characters written 1n haste ; similar sheets, all toln or crumpled, being strewn about the floor, and the chimney-piece encumbered with half- opened bundles of p1oofs. Larchel, with a beard of three days’ growth and unkempt hail, was seated at his writing table, dressed like a beggar, in a dirty coat devoid of a Single button, a pail of worn-out slippers on his feet, and a silk hand- kerchief tied in a knot 1ound his neck The real Bohemian, utterly 1egal dless of appearance from his earliest youth, came to the sulface every time the would- be swell was obliged to step out of his paſt and put his shoulder to the wheel. And this he was obliged to do pretty fiequently. Like all litelaly workers whose time 1s their sole capital, and who, the efore, lead most irregular lives, Claude was always behindhand with his work and short of money, especially Since his relations with Colette had 1nvolved him in that most 1uinous expense of all—the expense incurred by a young man for a woman he does not keep. Besides the salary she drew from the theatre, the actless had an income of twenty thousand francs, left her by an old admirei, a Russian noble who was killed at Plevna ; but what with riding about and dining Out with his m1stress, and buy- 1ng her heaps of flowels and presents, Claude had to find many a bank-note. The proceeds of the two plays being long spent, the wiitel was forced to earn these w1etched notes by overworking his blain in the intervals of his enervating debauches. “At it again ' ' he cried, looking up with his pale I 24 A LIVING LIE face and clasping René's hand in his fevelish grasp. ‘Fifteen chapters to be deliveled at once. A splendid stroke of business with the Chronique Parisienne, the new eight-page paper financed by Audry. They came and asked me for a story the other day to run as a feuil/eton for a fortnight. A franc a line. I told them I had one ready—only wanted copying. My dear fellow—hadn't got a word witten—not that But I had an idea Re-wl 1te “Adolphe "up to date in our jargon, and put in out local colouring. It will be a beastly hash, but all that's nothing Do you know what it means to sit down and write while your heart is being to tuled by jealousy P I am here at my table, scribbling a phrase ; an 1ciea occuls to me, and I want to hold it. Now fol It, I think. Suddenly a voice within me says: “What is Colette doing now P” And I put down my pen as the pain—ah | Such tellible pain l—comes over me. Balzac used to say that he had discovered how much brain matter was wasted in a night's debauch : half a volume ; and he used to add, “There is not a woman b1eathing worth two volumes a year.” What nonsense ! It isn’t love that wears out an artist, but the continual worry of some fixed idea causing one long heart-ache. Is it possible to think and feel at the same time 2 We must choose one or the other. Victor Hugo never felt anything—nor did Balzac. If he had really loved his Madame Hanska he would have run after her all over Europe, and would have cared for his “Comédie humaine” as much as I do for this rubbish. Ah! my dear René, he continued with an air of dejection as he gathered up the sheets scattered all over his desk, ‘keep to your simple mode of life. I hope you have not been weak enough to accept the invitations of any of the sharks you met at Madame Komot's.' ‘I have only paid one visit, replied René, ‘and that was to Madame Moraines.’ He could scarcely control himself as he pronounced her name. Then, with the involuntary impetuosity of a lover who, though come IN THE TOILS I 25 expressly to speak of his mistress, is afraid of criticism, and staves off the reply as he would thrust aside the point of a dagger, he added, ‘Isn't she sweetly pretty and graceful? And what lofty ideas she has Do you think ill of her too 2' ‘Bah!’ exclaimed Claude, too full of his own suffer- ings to pay much heed to René's words, “I dare say we could find something ugly in her past or hel present 1ſ we tried. All women have within them the toad that springs fiom the mouth of the princess in the fairy tale.’ ‘Is there anything you know about her ?’ asked the poet. “Anything I know !’ replied Claude, struck by the strange tone of his friend's voice. He looked at René and saw how matters stood. Mixing as he did in Parisian Society, he was well acquainted with the 1umours concerning Suzanne and Baron Desforges, and with the easy-going—though sometimes mistaken— c1edulity of a misanthiope to whom every infamy seems probable because possible, he believed them. For a moment he was tempted to info1m René of these 1 umours, but he held his tongue Was it from motives of pludence, and in order not to make an enemy of Desforges, In case Suzanne should get to know what he had said, and tell the Balon 2 Was 1t out of pity for the glief his words would cause René 2 Was it for the cruel delight of having a companion in his torture—for how much better was Suzanne than Colette 2 Was he impelled by the curiosity of an analyst and the desire to witness another's passion P Who shall deter- mine the exact point of departure of so many and such complex motives as go to make up a sudden resolve P Claude paused for a moment, as if to ransack his memory, and then repeated his fiend's question. “Is there anything I know about her ? Nothing at all. I am a professional woman-/later, as the English say. I only know the woman thiough having met hel here and there, and I thought hel a little less foolish than most I 26 A LIVING LIE of her kind. It's true she is very pretty l’ And then, cither out of malice of in order to sound René's heart, he added, ‘Allow me to congratulate you !” ‘You talk as though I were in love with hel,’ replied René, growing red with shame. He had come there with the intention of Singing Suzanne's plaises, and now Claude's bantering tone caused his confidences to freeze upon his lips. “So you are not in love with her l’ clied Latcher, with his most horribly cynical laugh. Then, with one of those geneious impulses in which his better and truer natule 1 evealed 1tself, he took his fi iend's hand and begged his paidon. Seeing in René's eyes that this was about to plovoke a flesh outburst, he stopped him. ‘Don’t tell me anything You'd only hate me for it afterwards I’m not fit to listen to you to day. I am enduling torture, and that makes me cluel.’ SO 1 happened that even Suzanne's clumsy man- Oeuvring turned out favourably fol her plan of capture. The only man whose hostility she had to fear had voluntarily imposed silence upon himself. Since René was in absolute need of a confidante to 1.eceive the overflow of his feelings, it was to Emilie that he turned, and poor Emilie, Out of sheel sistelly vanity, was all eady the abettoſ of the unknown lady whom she had secn through hel blothel's cycs cncil cled with a halo of al 1stocracy. The vely next morning after the soirée at Madame Komof's she had guessed from René’s words that Madame Molaines was the only woman he had met theſe whom he 1eally liked, and the only one, too, upon whom he had made any strong impression. Mothers and sistels possess some peculiar sense for perceiving these shades of feeling. Fol the next few days after making her discovery René's 1estlessness was very plain to Emilie. Bound to him by the double bond of affec- tion and moral affinity, no feeling could travelse her b1 other's heart without finding an echo in hel own. She IN THE TOILS 127 knew that René was in love as well as if she had been present in the spirit during the two meetings in the Rue Murillo. She felt delighted, too, without being at all jealous, though her brother's attachment to Rosalie had caused her not only jealousy, but anxiety. With peculially feminine logic, she thought it but natural that the poet should enter upon an 1ntrigue with a woman who was not frce. She recognised that exceptional men 1 equite a mode of life and a standard of morality as exceptional as themselves, and she felt that this love of René's for a grand lady, whilst 1ealising the proud di eams she had formed for hel idol, would not 1ob her of a jot of affection. His passion fol Rosalie, on the contrary, she had regarded as an infringement upon her 11ghts. This was because ROSalle 1.csembled hel, and was of her would, and because René's attachment to her could only result 1n marriage and the setting up of anothel home. It was the efore with Sec1 et joy that she beheld the b11th of a fresh passion in her brother. She would have been glad if he had taken her further into his confidence, and so completed the confession he had made on awakening only a few houls after the soirée at Madame Komof's. But this he had not done, neithel had she led him on to do so, her 1nstinct telling her that René's confidences would only be the more complete for being spontaneous. So she waited, watching his eyes, whose every look she knew so well, fol that expression of sup1eme joy which is the ſevel of happiness. Hel silence was also to a gleat extent due to the fact that she only saw René when Fresneau was p1esent With that natural cowardice begotten of Celta1n false post- tions, the poet left the house as Soon as he was up and 1eturned only in time fol lunch. Then he again took himself off until dinnel, going out 1mmediately aftel, in order to avoid meeting Rosalie. The professor's ab- straction was so great that he did not even notice this change in René's habits. Such, however, was not the I 28 A LIVING LIE case with Madame Offal el. Having come on two consecutive evenings with he two daughters and seen nothing of him whom she already looked upon as her son-in-law, she did not hesitate to remaik upon his unwonted absence. “Does Monsieur Laïchel present Monsieur René to a fresh comtesse every evening that we never see him here now, not at our house either ?’ ‘It’s true,' observed Flesncau, ‘I nevel see him now. Where does he get to ?” “He has set to work again upon his “Savonal ola, replied Emilie, ‘and he spends his cvenings at the Bibliothèque.” Early on the morning after this conversation, which was also the morrow of René's second visit to Suzanne, Emilie entered hel blother's 1 oom to give him a full account of what had been said. She found him getting out a few sheets of fine note-paper—some that she had bought for him—on which he was about to copy, in his best handwriting, the veſses he was to read to Madame Moraines. The table was covered with sheet upon sheet of his poems, from which he had all eacly made a selection. When Emilie told him of her innocent fib he kissed her, and exclaimed, with a laugh, “How clevel you alc l’ ‘There is nothing clevel 1n it,' she 1eplied ; “I am your sister, and I love you’ Then, taking up some of the papers scattered about, she asked, “Do you 1eally think of getting on with your book 2' ‘No,' answered René, “but I have plomised to 1ead a few of my verses to some one.’ “To Madame Molaines P' exclaimed his sister. ‘You have guessed 1t,’ 1 eplied the poet, looking slightly confused. ‘Ah 1f you only knew l’ And then the pent-up confidence burst forth. Emilie had to listen to an enthusiastic eulogy of Suzanne and all that concerned her. In the same bleath René spoke of the lofty nobility of this woman's ideas and of the }} } IN THE TOILS I29 shape of her shoes, of her marvellous intelligence and of the figured velvet on her blotting-book. That childish astonishment at these luxurious details should be united to the more poetic fancies in the fabric of love did not surprise Emilie. Had she herself in her love for René not always associated petty desires with boundless ambition ? She wished, for instance, with almost equal fervour, that he might have genius and horses, that he might write another ‘Childe Harold, and possess Byron's income of four thousand a year. In this she was as ingenuously plebeian as he himself, confounding —in excusable fashion, after all—real aristocracy of sentiment with that aristocracy expressed by outer and worldly forms. Those who come of a family in which the struggle for bread has lowered the tone of thought easily mistake the Second of these aristocracies for a condition inseparable from the first Those words, therefore, which might have led an unkind listenel to think that René loved Suzanne for her surroundings, and not for hel self, charmed Emilie instead of shocking hel, and she had so fully entered into her brother's Infatuation that on leaving him she said: “You are not at home to anyone—I’ll see that no One comes in. You must show me your verses when you have written them—mind you choose them well.” The task of making this selection cheated the poet's al dour, and he was able to await the day fixed for his next visit to the paradise in the Rue Murillo without much impatience. The hours of solitude, broken only by his talks with Emilie, passed by in alternate fits of happiness and melancholy. Often a delightful vision of Suzanne would rise up before him. He would then lay down his pen, and all the objects about him would melt away, as if by magic. Instead of the red hangings of his 1 Oom, it was the little salon of Madame Moraines that he saw ; gone were his dear Albert Durers, his Gustave Moleaus, his Goyas, his small library on whose shelves the ‘Imitatio’ lubbed shoulders with K I 30 A LIVING LIE ‘Madame Bovaly’—gone were the two leafless trees that stood out black against a light blue sky. But in their place he could see Suzanne, her dainty ways, the poise of her head, the peculiar golden tint of her hair, and the transparent pink of her lovely complexion. This appalition, which had nothing of a pale or shadowy phantom about it, appealed to René's senses in a way that ought to have made him understand that Madame Molaines’ attitudes did but mask the true woman, the voluptuous though 1efined courtesan. But of this he took no note, and, whilst madly desirous to possess her, he believed that his worship of her was of the most etheleal kind. This mirage of sentiment is a phenomenon fiequently observed in men who lead chaste lives, and one which renders them the defenceless prey of the most barefaced hypocrisy. The inability to understand their own feelings makes them still more 1ncapable of analysing the tricks of the women who arouse in them the accumulated passion of a lifetime. The poet, however, became perfectly lucid as soon as Suzanne's image made way for that of Rosalie. On going through his papers he was continually coming across some page headed, in boyish fashion, “For my flower;' that was the name he had given Rosalie in the heyday of his love, when he had written her a fresh poem almost every morning. ‘O Rose of candou, and sincerity l’ wele the terms in which he addressed her at the end of one of these effusions. When his eyes fell upon such lines he was again obliged to lay down his pen, and once more his surroundings would melt away, but this time to make room for a vision of torture. The 10oms occupied by the Offarels lay before him, cold and silent. The old woman was busy with her cats. Angélique was turning over the leaves of an English dictionary, and Rosalie was looking at him, René—looking at him through an ocean of space with eyes in which he read no leproach, but only deep dist1ess, He knew as well as if he were IN THE TOILS I31 there, near her, that she had guessed his secret, and that she was suffering the pangs of jealousy. If such were not the case would he have been so terribly afraid to meet the girl's eyes P Would that he could go to her and say, ‘Let us be only friends !” It was his duty to do so. The only means of preserving one's self-esteem is by acting with absolute loyalty in these subsidings of love, which are like fraudulent bankruptcies of the heart. But that loyalty was thrust aside by weakness in which both egoism and pity were equally represented. He took up his pen again, and saying, as on the first day, “We shall see—later on, he tried to work. Soon he had to stop once more as his mind reverted to Rosalie's sufferings. He thought of the long nights she would spend in tears, knowing as he did every trifling habit of the simple creature who had given him her heart. She had often told him that the only time she could Indulge in hel own g11ef was at night. Then he hid his face in his hands and waited till the vision had passed, mean- while saying to himself, ‘Is it my fault P’ *: # A law in our nature bids out passions grow stronger in proportion to the number of obstacles to be overcome, so that the 1emoise of his Infidelity to poor Rosalie 1esulted in making René's heart beat fastel as the time fixed by Madame Molaines for their next meeting drew near. She, on her side, awaited him with an almost feverish 1mpatience that astonished even hel self. She had looked out for the young poet whenever she had been in the street, and again at the Opela when Fliday came round. Had she seen his eyes fixed upon hel in that simple adoration which is as compi omising as a declaration, she would have said, ‘How imprudent l’ Not to see him, however, gave her a slight fit of doubt, which blought hel caprice to its climax. She looked forward to this visit all the more anxiously because she considered it decisive. It was the third time René visited her, and, out of these three times, twice unknown to her husband. Further than that K 2 I 32 A LIVING LIE she could not go, on account of the servants. A day of two back Paul, meaning no harm, had said to her at dinner, “I was talking to Desforges about René Vincy. He doesn’t seem to have made a good impression on the Baron. It is decidedly better not to see the authors too closely whose works we admire.’ If the servant who had announced the poet had been in the dining-room at the moment these words were uttered Suzanne would have had to speak. The same thing might happen the next or any other day. She was therefore determined to find a peg in her con- versation with René on which to hang an appointment elsewhere. An idea suddenly occulled to her of going somewhere with the poet under pretence of curiosity—a meeting in Notre Dame, for instance, or in some Old church sufficiently distant from the fashionable quarter of Paris to be beyond the 1isk of danger, and she relied upon one or other of René's poems to furnish her with an opportunity of making such an appointment. On this occasion she once more wore a walking-dress, for, having attended a marriage ceremony in the morn- ing, she had kept on the rather smalt mauve gown in which her shapely figure, elegant shoulders, and slim waist were so well set off. Thus attired, and lounging back in a low arm-chair—an attitude that marked the adorable outlines of her body—she begged the poet, after the usual Commonplaces had passed, to Commence his reading. She listened to his poetry without betray- ing any surprise at the peculiar drawl with which even the best scholars intone their verses, her great intelligent eyes and the repose of her face seeming to indicate the closest attention. At rare intervals she would venture upon some apparently involuntaly exclamation, such as : “How beautiful that is l’ or, ‘Will you 1epeat those lines 2—I like them so much l’ In reality, she cared little for the poet's verses, and understood them less. To complehend even super- ficially the work of a modern artist—in whom theie is IN THE TOILS I 33 always a critic and a Scholar—16 guiles such mental development as is only met with in a small number of Society women, sufficiently interested in culture to read much and to think more in the midst of a life entirely opposed to all kind of study and 1eflection. What made Suzanne's pretty face and big blue eyes look so pensive was the desire not to let the important word slip by upon which to hang her project. But line came after line, stanzas succeeded Sonnets, and yet she had not been able to seize upon anything which could reason- ably be made to give the conversation the turn she wanted. What a pity it was For René's eyes, that continually wandered from the page ; his voice, that shook occasionally as he read ; his hands, that trembled as he tuned the leaves—all showed that her pretended admiration had completely intoxicated the Trissotin that lurks in every author. And now there was only one piece left | This the poet had purposely kept to the last; it was his favourite, and bore a title which was a revelation to Suzanne, “The Eyes of the Gioconda.’ It was rather a long poem, half metaphysical, half descriptive, in which the w11ter had stiiven to collect and reproduce in Sonorous verse all the opinions of the modern School of critics concerning Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece. In this portrait of an Italian woman we ought, perhaps, to see nothing beyond a study of the purest and most technical naturalism, one of those struggles against conventionality in art in which the great painter appears to have been so frequently engaged. Can it not have been an attempt of the master to seize the unseizable—the play of a face, and to paint the fleeting expression on the lips as they pass flom repose to a smile P In his poem René, who took a childish plide in the fact that his family name 1esembled that of the village which lends its appellation to the most subtle master of the Renaissance, had con- densed into thirty verses an entire system of natural and historical philosophy. He valued this symbolical I34 A LIVING LIE medley higher than the ‘Sigisbée, which contained only what was natural and appertaining to the passions— two qualities fit only for the vulgal herd. What then was his delight to heal Madame Moraines say, ‘If I might be allowed to expless any preference, I would say that this is the piece which pleases me most. How well you understand true art | To see the great masterpieces with you must be a revelation I am sule that if I visited the Louvre under your guidance you would explain to me so much that I see in the pictules but cannot understand I have often wandered about there, but quite alone’ſ She waited. As soon as René had started reading this last poem she had said to hel self, ‘How foolish of me not to have thought of that before l’ closing her eyes for a moment as if to retain some beautiful dream. At the finish she had pulposely used such wolds as would give him an opportunity of Seeing her again. He would propose a visit together to the Louvre, to which she would accede, after having cleverly raised just sufficient difficulties. She saw the suggestion trembling on his lips, but he had not the coulage to make it. She was therefore compelled to do so herself. ‘If I were not afraid of wasting your time P Then, with a sigh, “But we have not been acquainted long enough.” ‘Oh, madame !' cried René, “it seems to me as if I had been your friend for years l’ ‘That is because you feel I am sincere in what I say, she replied, with a frank and open smile. “And I am going to prove it to you once more. Will you show me the Louvre one day next week 2' DECLARATIONS I 35 CHAPTER XI D E C L AIR AT I O N S AN appointment had been made for eleven o'clock on the following Tuesday, in the Salon Carré of the Louvre. Whilst Suzanne was being driven to the old palace in a cab she was counting up for the tenth time the dangels of hel matutinal escapade, ‘No, it's not a vely wise thing to do,” she thought ; “and suppose Desforges discovers I’ve been out? Well, there's the dentist. And what if I meet some one I know P It's very improbable, but in that case I would tell them just as much of the truth as was absolutely necessary.’ That was one of her great maxims—to tell as few lies as possible, to maintain a disc1eet silence about most things, and never to deny established facts. She was therefore ready to say to hel husband, and to the Baron as well, if necessaly, ‘I went into the Louvre this morning as I passed. I was lucky enough to find Madame Komofºs little poet theie, and he showed me through a few of the rooms. Yes,’ she said to herself, ‘that will do for once. But it would be madness to try it on often.’ Her mind then became occupied with other thoughts of less positive pulpolt. The uncertainty of what would take place in this interview with René caused her greater agitation than she cared for She had played the paſt of a Madonna before him, and the time had now come to get down from the altar upon which she had been so piously adoled. He feminine tact had hit upon a bold plan—lead the poet to a declaration, reply by a confession of her own feelings, then flee flom him as 1f in remoise, and so leave the way open for any step she might afterwards care to take. Whilst playing havoc with René's heart, this plan would suspend his judgment of her acts and absolve hel of any follies she 136 A LIVING LIE might Commit. It was bold but clevci, and, above all, simple. There were, nevertheless, a few real dangers connected with it. Let the poet entertain distrust but for one moment and all was lost Suzanne's heart beat faster at the thought. How many women there are who have been similarly situated, and who, after having reared a most elaborate fabric of falsehoods, have been compelled to continue their rôle in order to obtain satisfaction for the true feelings that Oliginally actuated them | When the men on whose account such women as these have played their hypoclitical rôles discover the lie palmed off upon them, their indignation and con- tempt abundantly plove how important a factor vanity is in all affection. ‘Come, come, exclaimed Suzanne, “here am I trembling like a school-girl l’ She smiled indulgently as she uttered the wolds, because they proved once mole the sincerity of her feelings, and again she smilcd when, on alighting fiom her cab and C1OSS1ng the coult- yald, she saw that she was theſe to the minute. ‘Still a school-girl l’ she 1epeated to herself. A momentary fear came over her at the thought that if René happened to arrive just after hel he would see hel obliged to ask one of the attendants for the entrance to the galleries —she who had boasted of having been there so often. She had not been in the place three times in her life, though to-day her little feet trotted across the spacious courtyard in their daunty laced boots as confidently as though they performed the journey daily. “What a child I am l’ said the 1nner voice once more—the voice of the Baron's pupil, who had acquired as deep a know- ledge of life as any hoary diplomat. ‘He has been waiting for me upstails for the last half-hour !’ Still she could not reflain from looking anxiously about her as she asked her way of one of the attendants. But her worldly knowledge had not deceived her, for no sooner had she reached the doorway between the Galerie d'Apollon and the Salon Carré than she saw DECLARATIONS I37 René ; he was leaning against the iron railing, just underneath the noble work by Veronese, representing Mary Magdalene washing our Saviour's feet, and opposite the famous Noces de Cana. In his boyish timidity the poor fellow had considered it his duty to put on his very best clothes in coming to meet one who, besides being a Madonna in his eyes, was a ‘Society woman —that vague and fanciful entity which exists in the brain of so many young bourgeots, and is a curious medley of their most erroneous 1mpres- Sions. He was attired in a smalt-fitting frock coat, and, although the morning was a cold one, he wore nothing over it. He possessed only one overcoat, and that, having been made at the beginning of the winter, did not come from the tailor to whom he had been 1ntro- duced by his friend Larcher. With his brand-new chimney-pot hat, his new gloves, and his new boots, he almost looked as though he had stepped out of a fashion plate, though his diess contrasted Strangely with his artistic face. If he had made himself appear still more ridiculous, Suzanne would have found still more reasons fol glowing fonder of him. Such is the way of women in love. She understood at once that he had been afraid he would not look nice enough to please her, and she stood in the doorway for a few seconds in order to enjoy the anxiety that was depicted on the poet's face. When he saw hel theie was a sudden rush of blood to his cheeks, though the blush soon died away beneath the gold of his fair silken beard. What a flash, too, lit up those dark blue eyes, dispelling the look of anguish they contained ‘It is lucky theie 1s no one hele to see our meeting, she thought, for the pale light that came through the glass roof fell only upon a few painters setting up their easels and upon a few tourists wandering about, guide-book in hand. Suzanne, who had taken all this in at a glance, could therefore abandon herself to the pleasure which 138 A LIVING LIE René's agitation afforded her ; as he came towards her he said, in a voice trembling with emotion, ‘I hardly dared to hope that you would come.’ ‘Why not?’ she replied, with an air of candid aston- ishment. “Do you 1eally think I cannot get up early 2 Why, when I go and visit my poor I am up and dressed at eight.' And in what a tone of voice it was that she said this A pleasant, modest tone—like that in which a helo would tell of something extraordinaly he had done without seeing anything in it himself—the tone in which an officer would say, “As we were charg- ing the enemy l’ The joke of it was that she had never ventured even to set her foot in a poor man's dwelling. She had as great a hor101 of povelty as of sickness or of old age, and to hel Selfish nature chal 1:y was a thing almost unknown. But at that moment René would have looked upon anyone who dared charge her with selfishness as guilty of the most infamous blasphemy. After having uttered hel well-chosen wolds this novel Sister of Mercy stopped for a moment in older to enjoy their effect. In René's eyes shone that look of blind faith which these pretty hypocrites ale so accustomed to 1egard as their due that they charge all who refuse it them with heartlessness. Then, as if to evade an admira- tion that embarrassed hel modesty, she went on, “You forget that you are my guide to-day. I will pretend I know nothing of any of these pictures; I shall then be able to see whether we have the same tastes.’ “Mon Dieu /' thought René, ‘I must take cale not to show her anything that might give hel a bad opinion of me !' The most commonplace women can, when they choose, inspire a man who is vastly superior to them with this sensation of utter inferiority. They had now commenced their tour, he leading her to those masterpieces which he thought would please her. How well acquainted he was with all the galleries of his dear Louvre | There was not one of these pictures that did not recall the memory of Some dream of his DECLARATIONS I 39 youth—a youth entirely spent in adorning with beauti- ful images the shrine we all carry within us before our twentieth year, but fiom which our passions soon expel all but the image of Venus ! These pale and noble frescoes of Luſni that hang in the narrow room to the 1ight of the Salon Carré—how often had he not come to gaze upon their pious scenes when he wished to lend his poetry the Soft charm, the broad and tender touch, of the old Lombard master | He had feasted his cyes fol whole hours upon the mighty Crucifixion by Man- tegna—a fragment of the magnificent painting in the church of San Zeno at Verona—as well as upon that most glorious of Raphaels, Saint George—an ideal hel O dealing the diagon a furious stroke of his sword whilst Spurling his white charger in pink trappings across the fresh greensward, symbolic of youth and hope. But 1t was mole especially the pol traits which had been the objects of his most fervent pilgrimages—from those of Holbein, Philippe de Champaigne, and Titian, to that of the elegant and mysterious lady simply attributed 1n the catalogue to the Venetian school, and bearing a cipher 1n her hail. He loved to think, in company with a clever critic, that this cipher meant Balbarelli and Cecilia—the name of the G1orgione and that of the m1stress for whom tradition says that this great master died. During a visit he had once paid to the Louvre with Rosalie he had told her the romantic and tragic story on this very spot and before this very portrait. He now found himself repeating 1t to Suzanne, and 1n almost the same wolds. ‘The painter loved hel, and she betrayed him for one of his friends. At Vienna theie is a pictule painted by himself in which you see his sweet, sad eyes resting upon his treacherous filend, who approaches him with a gleaming dagger concealed behind his back' Yes—the same wolds ! When Rosalie heard the story she had turned her eyes upon him, and he had distinctly read the thoughts that filled hel. ‘How can I4O A LIVING LIE any woman betray the man who loves her P’ With her the question had 1emained a dumb one, but Suzanne, after having stared curiously at the mysterious woman with the thin lips, gave expression to her thoughts with a sigh and a shake of her fair head. “And yet she looks So good. It is tel rible to think that a woman with a face like that could lie l’ As she spoke she too turned her eyes upon René ; and, gazing into the clear depths that presented such a contrast to Rosalie's dark Orbs, he felt a strange remorse. By one of those ironies of the inner life which a com- parison of consciences would often reveal, Suzanne, unspeakably happy in strolling amidst these pictures, which she pretended to admire, was keenly enjoying the impression that her beauty was making on her com- panion, whilst the latter, a simple child, reproached him- self with the double treachery of leading this ideal cleature through places that he had once visited with another. The fatal comparison which, since his first meeting with Madame Moraines, was effacing poor little Rosalie from his mind was becoming more obtlusive than ever. A vision of his betrothed floated before him, humble as she herself, but beside him walked Suzanne, a living sister of the aristocratic beauties the old masters had portrayed on their canvases. Her golden hair shone brightly under her little bonnet; the short astracan jacket fitted her like a glove, and her grey check skirt hung in graceful folds. In her hand was a small muff, from which peeped out the cornel of an embroidered handkerchief; the muff matched her jacket, and every now and then she would hold it up just above her eyes in order to get the right light to see the pictures well. How could the present fail to conquer the absent—an elegant woman fall to Oust a simple, modest girl, especi- ally since in Suzanne all the refinement of an aesthetic soul seemed allied to the most exquisite charm of external appearance and attitude P DECLARATIONS 141 She who in her crass ignorance would have been unable to distinguish a Rembrandt from a Perugino, or a Ribera from a Watteau, had a clever way of listening to what René said, and of supporting the opinions he expressed with an ingenuity that would have deceived men with more experience of feminine duplicity than this young poet of twenty-five. This meeting was to him a source of happiness so complete, such perfect realisation of his most Sec1 et dreams, that he felt sad at the thought of having attained his highest ambi- tion. The time slipped by, and an indescribable sensation invaded him , 1t was made up of the nervous excitement that the sight of masterpieces always pro- duces in an alt1st, of the 1emorse he felt for his treachery in plofaning the past by the present and the present by the past, and finally of the knowledge of Time's unrelenting flight. Yes, that delightful hour was slipping by, to be followed by so many cold and empty ones—for never, no, never would he dare to ask his adorable companion for another such meet- 1ng. She, the sensual Epicurean, was only eager to pro- long the delight of mental possession. Voluptuously, carefully, and secretly did she watch the poet from the corner of her blue eye that looked so modest beneath 1ts golden lashes. She was unable to tal.c exact account of all the changes of feeling he under- went, for although she was alieady well acquainted with his inner nature, she was so entirely 1gnorant of all the facts of his life that sometimes she would ask her- self with a thrill whether he had ever loved before. It was impossible to follow his thoughts in detail, but it was not difficult to see that he was now looking at her much more than at the pictures, and that his distress was in- creasing every minute. She attributed this distress to a fit of shyness—a shyness that delighted her, for it proved the presence of a passionate longing tempered by 1espect. How pleased she was to be the object of a I42 A LIVING LIE desire that expressed itself with such modesty It en- abled her to measure more coirectly the gulf that separated her little René—as she alieady called him in hel thoughts—from the bold and dangerous men with whom she usually mixed. His looks were full of love, though devoid of insolence, and contained an amount of suffeling that finally decided her to lead him on to the declaration which she had promised herself to p1 Ovoke. “Mon Dieu " ' she suddenly clied, catching hold of the iron bar that runs 1 ound the walls, and turning to René with a smile that was meant to hide some sharp pain. “It’s nothing, she added, 1n reply to the poet's look of anxiety. “I twisted my foot a little on this slippery floor.” Then, standing on one leg, she put out the foot that she said was hult, and moved 1t about in the soft boot with a giaceful eſfolt. “Ten minutes' rest and 1 will be all 11ght, but you must be my crutch ' As her pretty lips uttered this ugly wold she took hold of René's alm, the poet little thinking, as he almost piously helped hel along, that this imaginary accident was but one episode mole in the comedy of love in which he was playing SO 1nnocent a part. Taking cale to thiow hel whole weight upon him, she managed to redouble his passionate a doul and to completely intoxicate him by the rhythmic and com- municated movement of her lithe and supple limbs. The trick succeeded only too well. He could scarcely speak, ovel whelmed as he was by the pioximity of this woman and penetrated by the subtle perfume she cz- haled It was as much as he dared do to look at her, and then he found beside him a face both ploud and playful, a cheek of 1deal colouring, and a pair of mobile cherry lips upon which from time to time there hovered a sweet little Smile that meant mischief, though when their eyes met this Smile would change into an expression of such flank sympathy that it dispelled T)|ECLARATIONS I43 René's timidity. This she knew by the greater assur- ance with which he now supported her. She had been careful to choose one of the most isolated rooms—the salle Lesueur-for acting the epi- sode of her twisted foot. Arm-in-arm they passed through a small passage, and, crossing one of the galleries of the French school, entered a dark, deserted chamber in which were then exhibited Lebrun's pictules 1 epiesenting the victories of Alexander the Great. The Ingres and Delacroix gallery, by which this room 1s now reached, was not yet opened, and 1n the centre of the floor stood a large round ottoman covered in gleen velvet. Though in the very heart of Paris, this spot was mole secluded than a room in any provincial museum, and theie was no likelihood of being disturbed except by the attendant, who was himself deep in conversation with his colleague in the next apartment. Suzanne took in the place at a glance, and, point- ing to the ottoman, said to René, “Shall we sit down there for a few minutes ? My foot is much bettel already.’ A fresh silence fell upon them. Everything seemed to emphasise their seclusion—from the noises in the Cour du Carrousel that came to them in a dull mul mur through the two high windows to the dim light in the room itself. But this seclusion, instead of encouraging the poet to declare his passion, only increased his distress. He said to himself, ‘How pretty she 1s, and how sweet ! She will go, and I shall never see her again. How stupid she must think me !—I feel quite paralysed near her and 1ncapable of speech.” “I shall never have a better opportunity,' thought Suzanne. ‘You are vely sad,” she said aloud, bestowing upon him a look of affectionate and almost sisterly sympathy. * I noticed it as soon as I arrived, she continued, “but you do not trust me sufficiently to tell me your tioubles.’ I44 A LIVING LIE ‘No,' replied René, ‘ I am not sad. Why should I be 2 I have cvelything that can make me happy.” She looked at him again with an expression of surprise and mute interrogation that seemed to say, “Tell me what you have to make you happy P’ René thought he saw that question in her eyes, but dared not understand it so He sincerely believed himself to be so inferior to this woman that he had not the courage to disclose to hel the depths of his devotion. All Suzanne's delightful confidence, in which he could not possibly detect any cold calculation, would be destroyed the moment he spoke, and he therefore went on as if his words referred to the general circumstances of life. ‘Claude Larcher often tells me that I shall nevel be happier at any period of my litcſary caleer. He maintains that theſe ale four stages in a writel's life— when he is unknown, when he is applauded by those who wish to spite his elders, when he is maligned because he is successful, and when he is forgiven because he is forgotten. I am So Sorry you don't know him better—I am sure you would like him. Literature is his religion l’ ‘He is rather too artless, after all,' thought Suzanne, but she was too interested in the result of this inter- view to give way to her impatience. She seized upon the words René had just uttered and inter, upted his uncalled-for praises of Claude by saying, “HIS 1 eligion | It is tiue, that is just like you writers. I lave a fliend who is undergoing the ordeal, and she is always telling me that a woman ought to be calcful not to bestow hel affections upon an artist. He will nevel love hel as much as he loves his art.’ She repeated these supposititious words of her imaginal y friend with a look of pain upon he face; her cherry lips wele paſted by a half-stifled sigh that hinted at heartrending confidences and a presentiment of similar experiences in stole for hel self. DECLARATIONS I45 “Why, it is you who are sad,” observed René, struck by the sudden change in her pretty face. ‘Now for it !” she thought, and then replied, ‘That doesn't matter. What difference can it make to you whethcr I am sad or not P ' “Do you think that I take no interest in you?” 1ejoined René. ‘A little, perhaps, she 1eplied, shrugging hel shouldels; “but when you have left me will you think of me otherwise than as of Some sympathetic woman whom you have casually met and speedily forgotten ?’ She had never looked so lovely in René's eyes as when she uttered these words, which went as far as she dated go without jeopardising her game. Her gloved hand rested on the green velvet sofa quite close to the poet, and he was bold enough to take it. She did not draw it back. Her eyes seemed fixed upon some vision far away, and it was doubtful whether she had even noticed René's daring action. There ale women who have a delightful way of paying no heed to the familiarities which some people wall take with them. René pressed her dainty hand, and, as she did not resent it, he began to speak in a voice trembling with emotion : ‘I have no right to be surplised at your thinking that of me. Why should you think that my feelings towards you differ from those of other men you meet? And yet if I told you that since the day when I first spoke to you at Madame Komof's my life has changed for evel—ah ! do not smile—yes, fol ever ! If I told you that since then I have had but One desire—to see you again ; that I came to you house with a beating heart; that every houl since then has increased my madness; that I came hele in a di eam of rapture, and that I shall leave you in despair I see you do not believe me! People are willing to admit the existence of these sudden and lifelong passions in novels, but do such things ever hap- pen in real life?’ He stopped, amazed at the boldness of his own words. L I46 A LIVING LIE As he finished speaking there came over him that strange sensation that seizes us when in our dieams we hear ouiselves revealing Some Secret to the vely person fiom whom we ought most to hide 1t. She had listened to him with her eyes still fixed on vacancy, and still wealing her look of abst1action. But hel eyelids quivered, her bleath came short and quick, and her little hand tiembled as it lay in his. This was such a startling and delightful surprise that it gave René courage to go On. “Forgive me for talking to you like this If you only knew—it may be childish and silly—but when I saw you for the first time I seemed to 1ecognise you— you are so like the woman I have always dieamt of meeting ever since I have had a healt. Before meeting you I only thought I lived, I only thought I felt. What a fool I was And what a fool I am | I have gone and undone myself in your eyes. But at least I have told you that I love you—you know it now. You can do with me as you will. My God how I love you, how I love you !” As he gazed at her in rapt admiration and repeated the words that seemed to relieve the feelings that raged within him he saw two great tears fall from Suzanne's eyes and slowly make their way down her pink cheeks. He did not know that most women can c1y like that at will, especially if they are at all nervous. These two wretched teals drove his delirium up to its highest pitch. ‘You are clying !” he exclaimed ; “you——’ ‘Don’t finish your sentence, cried Suzanne, putting her hand on his lips and then moving a little ful ther off. Her eyes remained fixed upon his face, and in them might be read both passion and a kind of startled surprise. ‘Yes, you have reached my heart. You have awakened feelings of whose existence I had not the faintest sus- picion. I am afi aid—afi aid of you, afraid of myself, afraid of being here. We must never see each other DECLARATIONS I47 again. I am not free. I Ought not even to have listened to your words.” She stopped ; then, taking his hand in hers this time, she went on : ‘Why should I deceive you ? All that you feel perhaps I feel too, but I swear to you that I did not know it until a moment ago. The feeling of sympathy to which I yielded, and which made me come and join you here this morning— my God —I understand it now, I understand Fool that I was not to have known how easily the heart is ensnared l’ Fresh tears started fiom her eyes, and René was so agitated by all that he had said and heard that he could only murmur, “Tell me that you forgive me !’ ‘Yes, I forgive you, she replied, squeezing his hand so hard that she hurt him. “I feel that I love you too,” and then, as though suddenly awakening from a dream, she added, “Good-bye—I forbid you to follow me. This is the last time we shall meet.’ She rose. Her face wore a threatening look, and it was clear that her feelings of honour were now thoroughly roused. There was no longer any thought of fatigue or of a sprained foot. She walked straight Out, and with such an angry mien that the poet, utterly crushed by what he had undergone, saw her depart without doing anything to stop her. She had been gone some minutes before he rushed off in the direction she had taken. But he did not find her. Whilst he was trying first one staircase and then another she had crossed the coultyard and jumped into a cab, which 1apidly bore her, exulting and in ecstasy, to the Rue Murillo Whilst René was employed in seeking means to get her to 1 econsidel her hasty decision he would have no time to reflect upon the rapidity with which his Madonna had led him to make, and had herself made, a declaration of love. So much fol her exultation. The recollection of the poet's words, of his face beaming with love, and his eyes eloquent with passion, enchanted her as with a promise of most perfect happiness. So much L 2 I48 A LIVING LIE for her ecstasy. She was already drawing up her plans for the ſuture. He would write to her, of coulse—but to his first two letters he would get no answer. On 1eceipt of his third ol fourth lettel she would pretend to believe in his threats of suicide and drop upon him at home—to save him 1 Just as her thoughts had carried her as far as this, chance, which is sometimes as sar- castic as an ill-tempered friend, made her eyes fall upon Baron Desforges walking along the Boulevard Hauss- mann. He was probably going to her house to ask her to lunch out with him. She looked at the pretty little gold watch that hung from hel b1acelet and saw that it was only twenty minutes past twelve. She would be home in good time, and, thoroughly pleased with her morning's outing, she took a keen delight in pulling down the little window-curtain as she passed quite close to the Baron without being seen. CHAPTER XII CRUEL TO BE KIND WHEN René Vincy had got as far as the Museum gates without finding Suzanne a crowd of contradictory 13eas burst so suddenly upon him that he was lifted, meta- phorically speaking, off his feet. Suzanne had not been mistaken in her calculations, the double blow she had dealt the young poet paralysing all his powers of analysis and reflection Had she simply told him that she loved him he would plobably have opened his eyes and perceived the striking contrast between the angelic attitude assumed by Suzanne and the bluntness of this declaration. He would have had to acknowledge that the angel's wings were very loosely attached if they could be so easily laid aside. But Instead of commit- ting the mistake of laying them aside the angel had spread hel bright pinions out wide and disappeared. CRUEL TO BE KIND I49 “She loves me, and will never forgive me for having dragged that confession from her,’ said René to himself. He fully believed that she had gone away resolved never to see him again, and all his thoughts became concentrated upon that idea. How could he hope to shake the resolution of a creature so sincere that she had been unable to conceal her feelings, so saint-like that she had immediately regarded her 1nvoluntary confession as a crime? And René again saw her before him with terror written on her face and tears starting from hel eyes. Lost in these thoughts, he walked straight before him, unable to beaſ the sight of a human being, even were 1: Emilie, his dear confidante. Hail- ing a cab, he told the drivel to take him to Saint-Cloud. This was the filst name that rose to his lips, because Suzanne had described to him two fêtes at which she had been present in the palace when quite a girl. On getting out of the cab he felt a savage delight in plung- 1ng into the denuded wood A pale February sun lit up the bleak wintry landscape and the dry leaves cracked under his tiead as he stiode along Now and then, through a network of blackened trunks and naked branches, he could see the drealy 1 uins of the old palace and the blue waters of the little lake upon which, in bygone days, Madame Molaines had seen the unhappy Prince, since killed at the Cape. The impressions p1 oduced by his surroundings and by these memories of a tragic past did not distract the poet's thoughts from the one idea that hypnotised him, as it were—by what means he could conquer the will of this woman whom he loved, who loved him in return, and whom he was detel mined to See again at all costs. What was to be done P Call at hel house and demand admittance P Inflict his plesence upon hel by fiequenting the houses she visited P Waylay her at street cornels and at theatles P No-he felt that he could not do anything that might ful nish Suzanne with a single reason fol loving him less It was to hel that I5O A LIVING LIE he looked for everything, even for the right of beholding her. The memory of the ideals he had cherished in the filst years of his manhood and the purer years of his youth inspired him with serious thoughts of doing absolutely nothing to apploach her, of obeying her as Dante would have obeyed Beatrice, Petrarch his Laura, Cino da Pistoia his Sylvia—those noble poets of the ages of chivalry who gave voice to the lofty conceptions of an imaginative and holy love full of ideal devotion. He had so often dipped with delight into the Vita AVuova and devoured the sonnets these dreamers wrote their lady-loves. But how could such literature, of almost ascetic purity, hold its own against the poison of sensuous passion which, unknown to him, Suzanne's beauty and surroundings had instilled into his blood P Obey hel ! No–that he could not do. Fresh 1deas welled up within him, and he sought to calm his over- w1 ought nerves by excrcise, the only palliative for the tel11ble mental agonies he was suffeling Night fell—a wintry night pieceded by a short, dismal twilight. Woln out by the excess of emotion, René at last decided to adopt the only coulse that could be put into immediate execution—that of writing to Suzanne. On 1 eaching the village of Saint-Cloud he entered a café, and thcle, on a beer-stained blotting-pad, with a spluttering pen, disgusted with the papel he used and the place he was in, distulbed by the noise of billiald balls and blinded by the smoke of the players' pipes, he wrote, undel the 1nsolent gaze of a dirty waiter, first one letter, then another, and finally a third. How horrified he would have been had Suzanne seen him sitting there ! But, on the other hand, he felt that he could not wait until he got home to tell her what he had to say, and in the following terms, that would have greatly surprised Baron Desforges had he read them and been told that they were addressed to his Suzette of the Rue du Mont-Thabor, he gave vent to his excessive grief: CRUEL TO BE KIND 151 ‘I have written you several letters, madame, and torn them up, and I am not sure that I shall send you this one, so great is my fear of displeasing you by the crude expression of sentiments which I am sure would not displease you if you really knew them. Alas! we cannot bare our hearts, and will you believe me when I tell you that the feelings which prompt me to write this letter have nothing in them that would offend the most sensitive and pure-minded woman— not even yourself, madame P But you know so little of me, and the feeling which, with the divine sincerity of a soul that abhols concealment, you have permitted me to see, has been such a surprise that, by the time I am writing these lines, 1t has probably been already banished and effaced fiom your healt for ever If that be so, do not answer this lettel —do not even read it I shall know what to make of you silence, and will bow to your decision I shall suffer cruclly, but my gratitude to you will be eternal for having procuted me the absolute and unalloyed delight of seeing the Ideal of all my youthful dreams in the flesh. For such happiness I can never be sufficiently grateful, even were I to die of grief through having met you only to lose you. You crossed my path, and by you existence alone you have ploved that my ideal was no myth. Howevel hald my lot may one day be, this dear, divine memory will be to me a talis- man, a magic charm. “But, unworthy as I am, should the feeling that I 1ead in youl eyes this morning—how beautiful they were at that moment, and how I shall always 1emember them l—should, I say, that feeling conquel yout virtuous indignation, should that sympathy with which you reproached yourself still live in you healt, should you remain, in spite of yourself, the woman who wept when she heald me confess my love and adoration—then I conjure you, madame, to wrest some pity fiom that sympathy. Before confilming the sentence to which I am quite 1eady to submit—that tellible sentence never I 52 A LIVING LIE to see you more—let me ask you to put me to one single proof. My request is so humble, and so sub- servient to your will. Heal it, I beg. If I have guessed rightly from the all too short and fleeting con- versations we have had, your life, though apparently so complete, is devoid of many things. Have you nevel felt the need of having near you a friend to whom you could confide your troubles, a friend who would never speak to you again as he once dared to do, but who would be content to breathe the same air as yourself, and to share your joys and sorrows—a friend on whom you could lely, whom you could take or leave at your sweet will—in a word, a thing of your own, whose very thoughts would be yours ? Such a friend, with no desire beyond that of serving you, regretting only that he has not always done SO, and entertaining no criminal hopes whatever, is what I dréamt of becoming before that interview in which my feelings were stronger than my will. And I feel that I love you sufficiently to realise that dream even now. Nay, do not shake your head. I am sincere in my entreaties, sincere in my determina- tion never to utter a word which will make you repent your forbearance if you decide to put me to this proof. Will it not be time enough to banish me from your presence when you think me in danger of breaking the promise I now make P ‘My God! how empty my phrases seem | I tremble at the thought that you will read these lines, and that is why I can scal cely write them. What will your answer be * Will you call me back to that shrine in the Rue Murillo where you have already been so kind and so full of indulgence that the memory of the minutes spent there falls like balm upon my aching heart? That poor heart beats only for you in obedient and humble admilation. Say–oh! say that you forgive me. Say that you will let me see you once more. Say that you will let us try to be friends. You would say all this, I know, if you could read what is in CRUEL TO BE KIND I 53 my heart. And even if you do not speak those blessed words, there shall be no murmuring, no reproaches, nothing but eternal gratitude—gratitude as deep in martyrdom as it would have been in ecstasy. I have learnt to-day how sweet it is to suffer through those one loves | ? It was six o'clock when René posted this letter. He gazed after it as 1t disappeared in the box, and no sooner had it left his hand than he began to regret having sent it, the anguish of Suspense 1 especting the result being greater than his sufferings of the afternoon. In his disturbed state of mind he had entirely forgotten his daily habits and the fact that he had never stayed from home a whole day without giving Some previous explanation. He sat down to dinner in the first restaurant he came across, without a thought of his people at home, and completely absorbed in specula- tions as to what Suzanne would do aftel reading his effusion. The first thing that awoke him fiom his state of semi-somnambulism was the exclamation of Françoise when, having reached home on foot about half-past nine, he opened the door and found himself face to face with the big, clumsy maid, who nearly dropped the lamp with fright. “Oh sir, she cried ; “if you only knew how uneasy you've made Madame Fresneau—it's sent her into fits’ As Emilie ran out into the passage to meet him René said, ‘You don't mean to say that you've been upset by my not coming home 2 I couldn't help it,' he added in an undel tone as he kissed her ; ‘It was on /her account.” Emilie, who had really spent a most wretched even- ing, looked at her brother. She saw that he too had been greatly agitated, and that his eyes were burning feverishly ; she had not the courage to reproach him with selfishness in paying no regard to her own unreasonable susceptibilities—though he knew them So well—and replied in a whisper, as she pointed to the I54 A LIVING LIE half-open door of the dining-room : ‘The Offarels are here.” These simple words sufficed to give a sudden turn to René's feelings. His fevel of suspense was dispelled by a more plessing fear. During the sweetest moments of his walk through the Louvie that morning the memory of Rosalie had been able to give him pain— even when he was with Suzanne ! And now he was obliged to unexpectedly face—not a vision—but the gill herself, to meet those eyes which he had avoided in such Cowardly fashion for days past, to gaze upon that pallor which he himself had caused. A sense of his treachery Once more came over him, but this time it was more painful and acute than ever. He had spoken words of love to another woman before bleaking off his engage- ment with her whom he justly 1egarded as his betrothed. He entered the dining-room as if he were walking to the scaffold, and had no sooner come under the full light of the lamp than he saw by the look in Rosalie's eyes that she read his heart like an open book. She was seated between Fresneau and Madame Offarel, working as usual, her feet resting on the supports of an empty chair upon which she had placed her ball of wool and her father's hat ; this, as René knew well enough, was only an innocent 1 use to get him to sit near her when he came home. She and her mother were knitting some long mittens for old Offarel, who had now got hold of an idea that he was going to have gout in his wrists. Her fanciful palent was there, too, drinking, in spite of his imaginaly ills, a glass of good strong grog and play- ing piquet with the plofessor. It was Emilie who had proposed the game in order to discourage general con- versation, and so be able to give herself up to thoughts of her absent brother, whilst Angélique Offarel had been helping her to unravel some skeins of silk. A soft light 1llumined this quiet, peaceful scene, symbolical, in the poet's eyes, of all that had so long constituted his happi- CRUEL TO BE KIND I 55 ness, and which he had now given up for ever. Fortu- nately for him the professor immediately made his loud voice heard, and so put an end to his further reflections. ‘Young man,’ cried Fresneau, ‘you can boast of having a sister who thinks something of you, I can tell you ! She was actually proposing to sit up all night ! “Something must have happened to him. He would have sent a wile.” For two pins she would have sent me off to the Morgue. It was no use my suggesting that some one had kept you to dinner. Come, Offarel, it's your deal.’ ‘I had to go into the country, replied René, ‘and I lost the train.” ‘How badly he tells them ' ' thought Emilie, admiring her brother as much for his unskilfulness, which in this case was a sign of honesty, as she would have admired him for Machiavelian cleverness. ‘You look rather pale,' observed Madame Offarel aggressively, “aren't you well ?” ‘Shall I make loom for you here, Monsieur René P' asked Rosalie, with a timid smile ; ‘I’ll take away papa's hat.” ‘Give it to me,’ said old Offarel, perceiving a place for it on the sideboard ; “it will be safer here. It's my Number One, and mamma would scold me if any harm came to it.’ ‘It’s been Number One for such a long time,’ cried Angélique, with a laugh. ‘Look here, papa, here's a real Number One, she added, holding up René's hat under the lamplight and comparing its glossy nap with the shabby silk and old-fashioned shape of her father's head- gear, much to the latter's disadvantage “But nothing is too good for Monsieur René now,' observed Madame Offarel with her usual acrimony, venting the rest of her displeasule upon Angélique, whose action had annoyed hel. “You’ll be lucky if your husband is always as well dressed as your father.’ I 56 A LIVING LIE René was seated by Rosalie's side, and let the epigram of the terrible bourgeoise pass unnoticed, taking no part either in the rest of the conversation, which Emilie wisely led round to cookery topics. Madame Offarel was almost as keen on this subject as she was on that of her feline pets. Not content with having recipes of hel own for all kinds of dishes, such as coulis d'écrevisses, her triumph, and canard sauce Offarel, as she had proudly named 1t, she also kept a list of addresses where speci- alities might be obtained Treating Paris like Robinson Crusoe treated his island, she would, from time to time, start out on a fol aging expedition to the most remote quarters of the capital, going to some particular shop for her coffee and to another for her pâtes d Italie. She knew the exact date on which a certain man received his consignment of Bologna sausages, and when another got his Spanish olives in. The slightest incidents of these excursions were magnified by her into events Sometimes she would go on foot, and then hel comments on the improvements she had noticed, on the increase in the traffic, and on the superiority of the air in the Rue de Bagneux were in- exhaustible. At other times she would go by omnibus, and then her fellow-passengers formed the subject of her remarks. She had met a very nice woman who was very fat, or a young man who was very impertinent ; the conductor had recognised her and said good morn- ing ; the 'bus had neally been upset three times ; an old gentleman—“decorated '—had had some trouble in alighting. ‘ I 1eally thought he would fall, pool, dear old man l' The insignificant and superfluous details upon which it pleased the poor woman's simple mind to dilate gener- ally amused René, for the bourgeoise sometimes hit upon some curious figules of speech in her flow of words. She would say, for 1nstance, when speaking of a fellow-pas- senger who was paying attentions to a cook laden with provisions, “Some people like their pockets greasy,' or CRUEL TO BE KIND I 57 of two persons quarrelling, “They fought like Darnajats’ —a mysterious expression which she had always refused to translate. But that evening there was too pronounced a con- trast between the state of romantic excitement into which his interview with Suzanne had thrown the poet and the meanness of the surroundings in which he had been born. He did not stop to think that similar con- trasts are to be found in every form of life, and that the substrata of the fashionable world are composed of mean 11valries, of disgusting attempts to keep up illusory appearances, and of compromises of conscience compared with which the narrow-mindedness of the middle classes is a proof of the most delightful simplicity He looked at Rosalie, and the resemblance between the girl and her mother struck him most forcibly. She was pretty, for all that Her oval face, pale with evident grief, had an ivory tint as she bent down over her knitting in the lamplight, and when she raised her eyes to his the sincerity of the passion that animated her shone forth from beneath hel long lashes. But why were her eyes of precisely the same shade of colour as her mother’s P Why, with twenty-foul years between them, had they the same shape of brow, the same cut of the chin, and the same lines of the mouth P But how unjust to blame this 1nnocent child for that resemblance, for that pallor, for that grief, and even fol the silence in which she wiapped herself! Alas ! that 1t should be so, but when we have wionged a woman 1: 1s easy enough to find an Inexhaustible Soulce of unjust complaints against her. Rosalie had unwittingly committed the crime of adding 1emorse to the feelings brought into play by René's flesh passion. She represented that past which we never forgive 1ſ it becomes an obstacle between us and our future. False as most women are in matters of love, their perfidy can never sufficiently punish the secret selfishness of the majority of men. If René had had I58 A LIVING LIE the sorry courage of his friend Claude Larcher, and looked himself straight in the face, he would have had to confess that the real cause of his irritation lay in the fact that he had deceived Rosalie. But he was a poet, and one who was an adept at throwing a veil over the ugly parts of his Soul. He therefore compelled himself to think of Suzanne, and of the noble love which had sprung up and was burning within him ; for the first time he succeeded in forming a resolve to break definitely with Rosalie, Say- ing to himself, ‘I will be worthy of her l’ She was the lying wanton who, with hel luxurious surroundings, her rare science of dress, hel incomparable power of aping sentiment, and her seductive, soul-troubling beauty, had such 1mmense advantages over sweet, simple-hearted Rosalie. Her beauty once more rose up before René's enslaved imagination just as old Offal el was giving the signal for departure by 1ising and saying to Fresneau, “I’ve won fourteen sous from you—ha! haſ that'll keep me in cigars for a week. Come, he added, turning to his wife, ‘are you ladies ready ?’ ‘Since we are all here, 1eplied Madame Offarel, emphasising the word “all” by darting a look at René. “When are you coming to dinner P Would Saturday suit you ? That's M. Flesneau's best day, I believe P’ The professol replying 1n the affirmative, she now addlessed herself to the poet direct, ‘Will that suit you, René 2 You'll be more comfortable at our place, I can assure you, than amongst all those grand people on whom youl friend Larcher goes sponging.’ “But, Madame—’ exclaimed the poet. ‘Oh—that's enough l’ cried the old lady; ‘ I always remember what my deal mother used to say: a crust of bread at home is better than a stuffed turkey at another's table' Although this epigram of Rosalie's mother was simply nonsense when applied to the unhappy Claude, whose acute dyspepsia Seldom permitted him to d1 ink even a CRUEL TO BE KIND I59 glass of wine, it wounded René as deeply as if it had been thoroughly deserved. This was because he saw in it yet another sign of deep and ever-increasing hostility between his old associations and the new life for which since that morning he so eagerly and ardently longed. These people had a right to him—a fuller right than Madame Offarel knew, for was he not bound to Rosalie by a secret understanding 2 A flesh fit of 1111tation against this poor child came Over him, and he said to himself more firmly than before, ‘I shall break it off.” Having arrived at that decision, he went to bed, but could not sleep. The Curient of his ideas had changed He was now thinking of his letter. It must have reached Suzanne by this, and a series of unforeseen dangers splead itself Out before his imagination. Sup- pose her husband were to Intercept the letter? A thrill 1an thi ough him as he thought of the misery his imprudence might bring down upon this poor woman, in the power of a tyrant whose blutality he could well Imagine. And then, even 1ſ the lette, 1eached Suzanne safely, what 1ſ 1t displeased hel ? And he was sure that such would be the case He tried to remember the words he had wi Itten. “How can I have been such a fool as to write like that P’ he asked himself, and hoped that the letter might miscarry. He kncw that such things happened sometimes when people wished the contrary. Why should it not happen now that he expressly desired it? He grew quite ashamed of his childishness, and attributing 16 to the nervous excitement of the evening, began once more to curse Madame Offal el's mean-sp111ted 1emalks. His il ritability against the mother paralysed all pity for the daughter. He passed the night in this fashion, tossed between two kinds of tortures, until he fell into that deep morning sleep which is mole tiring than refleshing ; on awaking, the first thought that Occul red to him was his desire, stronger than ever, to bleak off his engagement. What means could he employ P A very simple I6O A LIVING LIE expedient presented itself to his mind at once—ask the girl to make an appointment. It was so easy, too ! How many times had she not let him know when Madame Offalel would be out, so that he could come to the Rue Bagneux sule of finding her alone with Angélique ; and how considerate the latter had always been in leaving the two lovels togethel and In peace This was undoubtedly the most loyal means to adopt. But the poet could not even bear to think of such an interview. In such crises we are sometimes assailed by a con- temptible folm of pity that consists in unwillingness to look upon the sufferings we have caused. We do not mind inflicting torture upon the woman we cast off, but we do not care to see her tears. It was only natural that René should try to spare himself this insufferable pain by writing—the resource of the weak in every kind of rupture. Papel can stand a good deal, people say. He got out of bed and commenced to write—but the words would not flow easily, and he was obliged to stop. Meanwhile the hour for the postman's first call was diawing neal Although it was perfect madness to expect Suzanne's 1eply by that delivery, the lover's heart beat fastel when Emilie entered the 1 Oom with his letters and the newspapel, as was hel wont when she knew he was awake. How happy would he have been had one of the three cnvelopes she blought him borne that long, elegant hand which, though seen but once, he would have 1ecognised amongst a hundred others | No —these were only business lettels, which he tossed aside so petulantly that his sister stared at him in sulprise. ‘Are you in trouble, René P’ she asked, and as she put the question theie was a look of such intense devotion and love in her eyes that she appeared to her brother like a guardian angel come to save him fiom the troubles of that cluel night Why should he not charge Emilie with the utterance of those words he dared not fol mulate himself, and which he could not manage to CRUEL TO BE KIND I6 I put into wiiting 2 He had no sooner conceived this plan of getting over the difficulty than he hastened to carry it out with the impetuosity common to all weak minds, and with tears in his eyes he began to disclose the unfortunate plight he was in with regard to Rosalie. He told his sister exactly how the whole matter stood. Whilst his mind was in that state of excitement frequently caused by confessions, fresh ideas originated within him and strengthened the resolve he had made. They were, however, such as Ought to have occurred to him at the time he was entering into those relations which he now regarded as guilty ones. When the intimacy had first sprung up between them—a purely 1nnocent but clandestine affair—he had not told himself that strict morality forbids any secret engagement of this kind, and that to accustom a girl to elude the watchfulness of her parents is a most reprehensible pro- ceeding. He had not told himself then that a man of honour has no right to declare his love until he has satisfied himself as to its stability, and that, although the ardour of passion excuses many weaknesses, a mere desire for obtaining fresh emotions makes such weakness sinful. These 1eploaches and many more were now in his mind and on his lips, and as he looked in Emilie's face he plainly saw what pain his conduct had caused his confiding sister. In a narrow home circle such dis- simulation is ploductive of much grief to those who have been its victims. But though Madame Fresneau felt as though she had been imposed upon, she vented all her angel upon the girl, and upon her alone, exclaiming, after her brother had told her what he wanted her to do, ‘I never would have believed her so deceitful.” we ‘Don’t blame her,’ said René shamefacedly. If their relations had remained hidden, whose fault was it P. He therefore added : ‘I am the guilty one.’ ‘You !' cried Emilie, folding him in her arms. ‘No, no ; you are too good, too loving. But I will do what you wish, and I promise you I'll be as gentle as possible. M I62 A LIVING LIE It was the best thing you could have done to come to me. We women know how to smooth things down. And then, you know, it is only right that you should put an end to such a false position. The sooner it's over the better, so I shall go to the Rue Bagneux this vely after- noon. If I can’t see her alone I will ask her to meet me somewhere.’ In spite of the confidence she had expressed in her own tact, Emilie became so impressed with the diffi- culties of her mission that, during lunch, she wore a look of anxiety that made her husband feel uneasy and awakened in René feelings of remorse. In employing a third person to tell Rosalie the truth was he not acting 1n a particularly cluel manner and adding unnecessary humiliation to unavoidable pain P When his sister came to him ready dressed, just before staiting on her c11and, he was on the point of stopping her. There was still time—but he let her go He heard the door close. B. milie was in the street—now she was in the Rue d’Assas—now in the Rue du Cherche-Midi But such thoughts as these were soon dispelled by the fever of anxiety with which he awaited the arrival of the next post. Suzanne must have had his letter that morning. If she had replied at once the answer would come by the next delivery. This idea, and the approach of the moment in which its correctness would be tested, at once cut shout his pity for the girl he had cast off. Complex as are the subtle workings of the heart, love simplifies them wond1ously. René was tol- tured by the suspense felt by all lovers, from the simple soldier who expects an 111-spelt lettel from his sweet- heart to the royal prince carrying on a sentimental cor- respondence with the brightest and most healtless Court beauty. The man wishes to go on with his usual occupations, but his mind is on the alert, counting the minutes and unable to endure the torment of waiting. He looks at the clock, and imagines all kinds of possi- bilities. If he dared he would go twenty times an hour CRUEL TO BE KIND 163 to the person from whom he gets his letters, and ask whether there is nothing for him. Such is the agony of waiting, with all its intense anxiety, its mad conjectures, the burning fever of its illusions and disenchantments. Every other feeling of the soul is burnt up and con- sumed in this fire of impatience. When Emilie came back, after having been gone an hour and a half, René seemed to have entirely forgotten on what errand he had sent her, but there was such a look of pain on his sister's face that it quite startled him. ‘Well ?” he ejaculated, in a tone of suspense. ‘It is all over, she replied, almost in a whisper. ‘Oh, René, how I misjudged her l’ ‘What did she say?’ “Not a word of reproach. She only wept—but, oh, how bitterly Her love for you is greater than I thought. Her mother had gone out with Angélique—how cruel it sounds !—to order the things for Saturday's dinner. I, for one, am not going to that dinner. When Rosalie opened the door she turned so pale that I thought she was going to faint. She guessed everything before I said a wold. She is like I am with you—1t 1s a kind of second sight. She took me Into her 1 oom. It is full of you—of your poltraits, of trifles that remind her of places you've been to together, and of cuts from the illustrated papers about your play I began to deliver your message as gently as I could, but I give you my word I was quite as upset as she was. She said, “It is so good of him to have asked you to come. You at least will not think me foolish in loving him as I do.” And then she went on, “I have been expecting it for some time. It seemed too good to be true Ask him to let me keep his letters.” Oh, my God I can't tell you any more about it now I am So afraid for you, my deal René ; I am so aflaid that her grief may bling you ill luck.’ I64 A LIVING LIE CHAPTER XIII AT HOME THE letter posted by René at Saint-Cloud had duly 1 eached its destination on the morning of the day that was to complete poor Rosalie's unhappiness. Suzanne had received it with the rest of her correspondence a few minutes before her husband entered her room to get his morning cup of tea, and she was Just engaged in reading it when Paul's kind and jovial face appeared in the doorway. “Bon four, Suzon, he clied in his deep but cheely voice, adding, as he sometimes did, ‘my fair 1 ose.’ This allusion to de Musset's well-known romance was always accompanied by a kiss. In Paul's eyes de Musset was the embodiment of youth and love, with just a spice of suggestiveness, and it was the favourite joke of this simple-hearted fellow to look upon himself as Suzanne's lover, and not as a lawful spouse. He was one of those stiange husbands who say to you in confidence, ‘I have no secrets from my wife—that is the only way to cule her of curiosity.’ Meanwhile, he was as much in love with his ‘fair lose' as ever, and ploved it by the manner in which he tenderly kissed hel on the neck. But she checked further demonstrations of affection with the words, “Get along ! See to the tea, and lot me finish my letter.’ She knew that Paul would never ask her anything about her correspondence, and 1t gave her such intense pleasure to read the poet's aident phrases that she was not satisfied with going over them once, but lead them a second time, and then, folding up the letter, slipped it into her bodice. She looked SO Supremely happy as she sat down to the table and took up the fine porcelain cup filled with fragrant tea that Moraines, wishing to tease hel, said, in a voice that was meant to be gruff, AT HOME I65 ‘If I were a jealous husband, I should think you had received a letter from your sweetheart, you look so happy, madame. And if you knew how nice you look like that,’ he added, kissing her arm Just above the wrist, where the delicate pink skin, perfumed and warmed by her luxurious bath, looked so inviting. “Well, Sir, you would be right, she replied, with a roguish air. Women take a divine pleasure in Saying in fun things which, though true, will not be believed. It procures them that mild sensation of danger which titillates their nerves so delightfully. ‘I hope this sweetheart of yours is a nice fellow 2° asked Paul, quite amused by what he considered a good joke ‘Very nice.’ ‘And may I know his name 2' ‘You are too 1nquisitive. Guess.’ “Bless me—no l’ cried Paul. “I should have too much to do. Ah ! Suzanne,’ he added, suddenly changing his tone to one that betrayed deep feeling, ‘what pain it must be to harbour suspicions ! Just fancy me being Jealous of you, and having to sit in the Office all day whilst my heart was being torn by doubts Ah well, this with a shrewd look, ‘I would set Desforges to watch you !' ‘It’s lucky there was no one to hear his “joke,” thought Suzanne when she was alone. “He has a Silly way of saying these things, too, when he's out.’ René's letter had, however, put her in such a good tempel that she forgot to get angry, as she would do when she thought her husband too utterly simple. Such is the logic of these pretty and light-hearted sinners; ifié wº exel cise all their wits in blindfolding a man, and then blame him for stumbling. The fact of having deceived him does not satisfy them—he must only be deceived up to a certain point. If he goes beyond that it is too much—he makes them feel uneasy, and they hate him for it—sincerely. Suzanne contented herself I66 A LIVING LIE with a shrug of her shoulders and a look of sweet pity. Then she took the lettel fiom its hiding-place and 1ead it for the third time. ‘It’s quite true, she said aloud ; “he is not like other men.’ The cupon she fell into a deep 1 evenie, in which she saw the poet as she had seen him waiting for her at the Louvie, standing just undel the large Veronese canvas with his face turned a little to the 11ght. How agitated he had been when his eyes met hers How young he was How his lips had trembled when he told her a little later that he loved her—those full, fresh lips which she could have bitten like some fluit, after having caressed his fair cheeks and the soft silken beard that adol ned his manly face. But the fruit was not yet ripe; She must learn to wait. She Sighed. Her calculation that the poet would write that very letter, and so soon after their meeting, too, had ploved correct. She had made up her mind not to reply to it, nor yet to the Second. For this second lettel she waited one, two, three days. Though her confidence in the strength of the passion with which she had inspired René was un- shaken, she was somewhat startled when, on the after- noon of the third day, just as her blougham was turning the corner of the Rue Murillo, she saw him standing where she had seen him once before. She was very careful to look as though she had not noticed him, and put on her saddest expression, her most dreamy eyes and an air of Sweet 1esignation that would have moved a tigel. The comfortable brougham, furnished with a number of dainty and useful knick-knacks, was immediately transformed 1n René's eyes into a prison van Containing a marty1—a martyr to her husband, a martyr to her home, a martyr to her love, and a martyr to her virtue. She was not acting a vely great lie, eithel, as she passed René. As she saw the pallor on his cheeks, caused by three days' anguish, and the look of despair AT HOME 167 in his eyes, she would have given much to be able to stop the blougham, to get out or to make him get in, and to exclaim as she carried him off, ‘ I love you as much as you love me!’ Instead of that she drove on to do her shopping and pay her calls, Sure now that the second letter so impatiently expected would not be long in coming. It came the same afternoon, but Just when its arrival presented most danger. And for this reason. Having gone home 1mmediately after meeting Suzanne, René had written her four pages in feverish haste, and 1n order that they might 1 each her Sooner and mole safely, he had sent them about five o'clock by a com- missionalle; the lettel was the efore handed to Suzanne by her manservant whilst Desforges was with her He had come, as he often did at that hour, with a dainty little present ; this time it was a pretty needle case in old gold which he had picked up at a sale. No soonel had she recognised the writing on the envelope than she said to herself, ‘The least sign of emotion and the Baron will Smell a 1 at l’ As some- times happens, the fear of betraying hel agitation made it mole difficult for her to conceal 16. She took the letter, looked at the address as we do when trying to guess from whom a communication comes, tole it open and skimmed 1ts contents, after having first cast a glance at the Signature ; then, getting up to place it amongst some others on her desk, she said: ‘Another begging letter | It's astonishing how many I’ve had lately How do you manage with them, Frédéric 2' ‘I have a very simple plan, replied the Balon. * Fifty francs the filst time of asking, twenty francs the second, nothing the third. My Secreta1y has orders to that effect. That's one of the fads I don’t believe in— charity Just as if it were through want of money that the poor are poor | It's their disposition that has made them so, and that you’ll never change. Look here, take this person who is sponging on you to-day ; I'll bet I68 A LIVING LIE twenty-five pounds that if you inquire about him you'll find that fortune, or at least a competency, has been in his grasp ten times during his life. If you were to Set him up afresh he would be in the same plight in a few years from now. Not that I mind giving, and as much as people want—but as to believing that money so spent is of the least use, that's a different thing altogether. And then these benefactors and lady patronesses—I know them ; it's all advertisement—a means of making their way 1nto Society and of getting hold of good people.’ ‘That's enough,” said Suzanne, ‘you are a terrible sceptic.” And with that delicate 1rony that women Sometimes use in avenging themselves upon the man who compels them to lie, she added, ‘You’le not one to be easily duped.’ The Baron accepted this flattery with a smile. Had his suspicions been aloused, that phrase alone would have lulled them. The most cunning men have that weak point by which they can always be conquered— vanity. But Suspicion of any kind had been far from the Balon's mind. Suzanne deceived him as easily as René had deceived his sistel. Those who see us every day ale the last to perceive what would be evident to the merest strange1. That is because the Stranger comes to us without any preconceived idea, whilst Oul daily associates have formed an opinion about us which they do not take the trouble to verify or change. The Ba1 on therefore did not remark that Suzanne was that afternoon a prey to intense agitation, which lasted dur- 1ng the whole of his visit. He stayed rather longer than usual, too, telling her all sorts of club stories, while she pottered about 1n the room, under some pretence or other, with one eye on her letter, seizing it once more with delight as soon as Desforges had at last decided to go. ‘He is an excellent fellow,” she said, “but such a bore ' ' A fol thight's passion had sufficed to bling her AT HOME I69 to this stage of ingratitude, and she now found compen- sation for the 1estraint of the past hour in going over each phrase and word of the poet's mad letter. This time it was an ardent prayer—an appeal to a woman's love. He no longer spoke of friendship. The air of melancholy she had assumed in the brougham had told. ‘Since you love me,’ he said, ‘have pity on yourself, if you have no pity on me.’ What would have appeared to Suzanne an intolerable piece of concert in anyone else touched her deeply as a mark of absolute confidence 1n her love. She recognised 1t for what 1: really was— worship SO devout that 1: did not harbour a shadow of doubt. It would have been so natural 1ſ René had accused her of having cruelly trifled with his feelings, but such an hypothesis was far from the poet's thoughts “Poor boyſ' she said to herself, ‘how he loves me !’ Then, thinking of Desforges by way of comparison, she added, ‘It is the best way to make sure of not being deceived ' ' She took the letter out once more Its language was so touching, and 16 was full of such sincere grief; then, again, the Cosy salon, just at that houl, reminded her so forcibly of the poet and of his first visit, and she asked herself whether she had not put him sufficiently to the proof. ‘No,' she concluded, “not yet.' This burning letter could, indeed, have but one reply —to tell René to come and see hel theic, and 1t was 1n his own home that she wanted to see him, in the little room he had described to her. She would appear before him in a state of distraction, and under pretence of saving him from suicide. The third letter would un- doubtedly ful nish her with that pretence, and she decided to await its coming, already enjoying in antici- pation the delight of seeing René once more. Amidst the whill of excitement that her sudden and unexpected appealance would cause the poet there would be no room for reflection, All the hateful preliminaries of a I70 A LIVING LIE false step, impossible to discuss with a man so inexperi- enced as he, would be dispensed with. It was true there was the presence of the 1est of the family to con- side1. Suzanne would not have been the depraved woman she was, even in this crisis of true passion, if this detail had not given her plans the chal m of doubly forbidden fruit. She waited for that third letter with intense longing. The time slipped rapidly by. She dined out, went to the theatre, and paid calls, hel mind entilely absorbed in that one thought. As luck would have 16, Desforges, having no doubt been lectured by Doctor Noirot, had not asked for any appointments in the Rue du Mont- Thabor that week. She knew that this was merely a postponement. Even after becoming René's mistress she would still have to continue her relations with the man who supplied so many of her luxurious wants. This seemed to her as natural as the fact of being Paul's wife. “What does that matter, since you know I love only you ?’ 1s what such a wife will say to her lover when he gets into one of those ridiculous fits of jealousy that so ill become a man in that position. And these women are never more sincere than in uttering that phiase. They know full well that love is totally different from duty, interest, or even pleasure. Though Suzanne saw nothing particularly shocking in the plural life she was leading, she was glad that the opportunity was afforded her of devoting herself entirely to her new passion for a day or two. In all this, howevel, she was still the courtesan, one of those cleatules who, when they do fall 1n love, become real altists of sentiment, feeling as delicately on certain points as they ale abomin- ably wanton 1n others. ‘What if he should really have taken it into his head to go away !' This was the thought that struck her when she at last received the much desired third letter, consisting of one long, heartlending falewell— without a wold of reproach. AT HOME 171 She trembled lest René might have had recourse to the proceeding counselled by Napoleon, who, with his imperial good sense, said, ‘ In love the only victory is flight.” In behaving as she had done she had staked all. Would she win P What she had foreseen had come to pass with a precision that both delighted and fright- ened her. The third letter bore the 1mprint of such deep despair that, on 1eading it a second time, this Subtle actress, with all her experience, was seized by a fresh fear more terrible than the first—the fear that René might really have destroyed himself In vain did She argue with herself that if the poet had had real intentions of going away he would have mentioned it in the letter, and that a handsome young man of twenty- five does not kill himself on account of the silence of a woman he believes to be in love with him—her anguish was none the less real and intense when she reached the Rue Coetlogon a few hours after having received the letter. It was two o'clock. She stopped for a moment at the corner of the street, gazing 1n wonderment at this provincial corner of Paris, whose picturesqueness had so charmed Claude Larcher on the evening our story opens. The grey clouds hung low in the wintry sky, and the bare branches of the trees stood out drearily against them. The cries of a few children playing at soldiers amongst the ruins at the back alone broke the silence The strange appearance of the peaceful little street, the perils attending the step she was about to take, and the uncertainty of the result, all combined to b11ng Suzanne's excitement to its highest pitch, though she smiled as she thought to herself that theie was no reason for believing René to be at home unless he were hopelessly waiting for a reply to his last letter. But when the conczerge had told her that M. René was in, and had pointed out the door, her wits at once came back to her. Like all strong-minded women, she possessed the characteristics of a man of action. A plain and circum- I72 A LIVING LIE scribed course of events inspired her with determination and courage to carry out her plans. She rang the bell. Heavy footsteps were heard apploaching, and the face of Françoise appeared in the doorway. At any other time she would have smiled at the look of amazement which the simple maid did not even try to conceal. Colette Rigaud had once called upon the poet to get him to make some slight alteration in her part, and Françoise, 1ecovering somewhat from her surprise, no doubt thought that this was a similar visit, for Suzanne could hear her say, as she opened the last door on the right : ‘Mon- sieu René, there's a lady asking for you. . . . A very pretty woman—probably some actress.’ She saw the poet come out of his room and turn as pale as death on recognising her. She glided quietly along the passage which Raffet's prints had turned into a small Napoleonic museum and entered René's room. He was obliged to get out of the way to let hel pass ; the door closed, and they were alone. ‘You—you here !’ clied René. He could only gaze at hel as she stood before him looking so slim and elegant in the dark costume she had chosen for this visit, for he was in that state of speechless agitation caused by Some unexpected event that Suddenly raises us from the depths of despair to the height of bliss. At such moments we are assailed by a whirlwind of ideas and sensations that threatens to turn our brain. Our legs give way beneath us and our hands tremble. It is happiness, and it gives pain. René was obliged to support himself against the wall, his eyes still fixed upon that handsome face that he had despaired of ever seeing again. A small detail completed the madness of his joy. He noticed that Suzanne's hands trembled a little too, and, as 1t happened, her emotion was sincere. To the passionate feelings that inspired her there was now added the fear of displeasing the man she was resolved to win. On entering this chamber, where she was sure no woman had ever been before her, her plan AT HOME # 73 of action was as clearly traced as plans of that kind can be. Room must always be left for the unforeseen. Suzanne felt that with René there would be many diffi- culties which with others might have been lightly and safely glided over. His simplicity both charmed and frightened her. In him she could rely, it was true, upon the impulse of the passions—more daring than cool calculation—but to arouse unnoticed that impulse in the poet when she was herself suffering its tortures was no easy matter. Whilst he stood gazing at her after the door had closed she felt a momentary hesitation , then, almost forgetting her plans and her part, she threw herself upon his neck and stammered out, ‘ I was in such terrible fear. Youl lettel frightened me so that I could not help coming. I have had an awful struggle, and could not hold out any longer. My God, my God | What will you think of me?’ He held her in his arms, and a thrill 1an through her. Then he lifted her lovely head and commenced to kiss her, filst on her eyes, those eyes whose sadness had so touched him as she passed him in her brougham— next on her cheeks, those cheeks whose ideal form had so charmed him from the first—finally on her sweet mouth, which gave his kisses back. What did he think of her 2 How could any idea shape itself in his mind, absorbed as it was by that union of the lips which is in itself complete and intoxicating possession ? What delight, too, that embrace was to Suzannel Through all the horrible complexities of her feminine diplomacy one sincere desire had grown stronger and stronger within her— that of meeting with a fresh and spontaneous, natural and thrilling passion. This passion she found in René's breath ; it stirled the vely depths of her Soul and made her almost faint with emotion. Ah! this was youth, with its complete and absolute abandonment, expressing neither thought nor word ; oblivious of all, except the immediate present; effacing all, except the fleeting I74 A LIVING LIE sensation whose sweetness and whose very Outlines seem to lie in a kiss. This woman, colrupted by the influence of a Palisian cynic of fifty and degraded by that hol rible venality which has not the excuse of necessity—this Machiave- lian coultesan, who had regulated hel passion for René like a game of chess—tasted for one second that divine joy. The punishment of those who let calculation entel Into their love lies in the remembrance of thcil calcula- tion in the moment of ecstasy. Though intoxicated by the mad kisses she had given and 1eceived, Suzanne clearly saw that she could not abandon hel self at once to hel lovci's arms. She therefore bloke away fiom him and said, ‘Let me go now that I have seen you and now that I know you are alive. I beg you to let me go. O René !'—she had nevel called him by this name before—“don’t come near me!’ ‘Suzanne,’ 1eplied the poet, maddened by the but n- ing nectar he had found on those lips—the certainty of being loved— don't be afraid of me. When shall we have another hour like this to ourselves? Let me beg of you to stop. See,” he added, 1eceding still faithel fiom hel, “I will obey you. I obeyed you even when I found it so very haid Ah you believe me now !” he exclaimed, seeing that Suzanne's face no longer explessed such intense fear. ‘Will you be very nice ’’ he continued, in that playful tone which takes so well with women, and which will make any one of them, be she a lady of high degree or a simple gill, call a man a “ darling.’ “Sit down there in that a m-chail, where I have so often sat at work, and then be nicer still, and try to look as though you were not on a visit.’ He had again come closel and had forced her into the chair; then he took away her muff and began to unbutton her coat. She submitted to this with a sad smile, like one who yields against her will. This smile was the death agony of the Madonna, the last act in the comedy of the Ideal performed by Suzanne. He AT HOME I75 also took off her bonnet, a toque that matched her coat. He was now kneeling before her and gazing at her with that look of idolatry a woman is sure to pro- voke in her lover if she but give him one of those proofs of affection that flatter a man's vanity and love—the lower passions and the higher passions of the heart. The poet said to himself: “How she must love me to have come here, she whom I know to be so pure, so pious, and so devoted to her duty l’ All the lies she had so carefully told him came back to his mind like further ploofs of her sincerity as he said: “How delighted I am to have you hele, and just now, too ! Don't be afiaid—we are quite alone. My sister has gone out for the whole afternoon, and the slave'—this was the name he gave Françoise, in ordel to amuse Suzanne—‘the slave is busy in the kitchen. And I have you hel c | You see, this is my own little kingdom, this room—the place in which I have en- dured so much Theſe is not one of these corners, not one of these objects that could not tell you what I have suffered these past few days. My poor books'— and he pointed to his low bookcase—‘were left un- opened. These dear old engravings I scal cely looked at. The pen with which I had written to you I never touched. I sat just where you are sitting now count- ing the hours as they passed God what a week I have spent l But what does it all matter now that you are hele and I can gaze at you ? It is happiness to me to tell you even my troubles l' She listencil with half-closed eyes, giving herself up to the music of his wolds, and following out her plan in spite of the passions that welled up within her. Does the knowledge of danger as he faces his adversary drive from the mind of a skilful swordsman the lessons he learnt in the school 2 René's assulance that they were alone in the house had sent a thrill of joy through Suzanne, and the glance she had thrown round the little room, So neatly and carefully kept, had proved, to her 176 A LIVING LIE delight and satisfaction, that she had not been mistaken concerning her lover's past. Everything here spoke of a studious and secluded life, the pure and noble life of an artist who surrounds himself with an atmosphere of beautiful dreams. Above all, the poet himself pleased her, with his love-lit eyes and the playful way in which he treated her, and she began to sec that this exchange of confidences respecting their mutual sufferings would lead her to her goal without the least risk of diminishing her prestige in his eyes. ‘And don't you think that I have suffered too P’ she 1eplied. “Why should I deny it P You speak of you! letters—God knows that I did not want to read them I kept the first one in my pocket a whole day, having neither the courage to tear it open nor to bun 1t. To 1ead your words was to heal you speak once more, and I had determined that it should not be I had prayed to my guardian angel SO long and so fel vently for strength to forget you. How I struggled to do so !’ Here the Madonna appeared for the last time. She lifted her eyes to heaven—or rather to the ceiling, fiom which hung two or three little Japanese dolls—and in her glorious orbs were reflected the wings of her guardian angel as he flew far, far away. . . . Fixing hel blue eyes once mole on René, she sighed in that tone of abandonment that p1Oves a conqueled heart: ‘I am lost now, but what of that P I love you so dearly that I do not ca1e what happens—only I cannot bear to picture you in distress.’ Here she broke down, her bosom racked with convul- sive sobs, and as the poet tendelly kissed hel tears away her head once more fell upon his bleast. She lay there for a few moments listening to the wild beating of his healt—then, like a tiled child, she entwined her alms about his neck, and heaved a sigh of peace. HAPPY DAYS 177 CHAPTER XIV HAPPY DAYS WHEN Suzanne left the house in the Rue Coetlogon her next meeting with René was already arranged. After taking a few steps down the little street she stopped and tuned her head, although it would have been more prudent to walk straight on, as she always did in the Rue du Mont-Thabor. But so firm a hold had passion obtained upon this usually cold-blooded woman that she smiled and waved her hand at the poet as he stood watching her from the window of the room in which she had enjoyed such a triumph—for all hel calculations had turned out perfectly col rect. Getting into a cab at the corner of the Rue d’Assas, she drove to the Bon Marché, where she had ordered her carriage to meet her; on the way the details of the conversation she had had with René recurred to her, and, going over them again, she congratulated herself upon the manner in which she had acquitted herself. As soon as the first real step has been taken in an intrigue of this kind the discussion of further arrangements becomes as easy and as delightful as 1t was before hateful and difficult. Suzanne had been the first to attack this delicate question. “I want you to piomise me something. If you do not wish me to 1 eproach myself with this love as with a crime, promise me that you won't go out 1nto Society at all. You are not accustomed to that kind of life, and you Ought to be at work. You would flitter away your magnificent talents and genius in idle nonsense, and I should look upon myself as the cause. Promise me that you won't go and See anyone’—and in a whisper— any of those women who flocked round you the othel night.’ How tenderly René had kissed hel for those wolds, in which the authol could read a ti Ibute of devotion N t 178 A LIVING LIE paid to his future work and the lover a delicate expres- sion of secret jealousy. He asked a little timidly, ‘Mayn't I come even to your house?’ “To mine least of all,” she replied. “I could not bear to see you touch my husband's hand now. You know what I mean, she added, passing her fingels caressingly thi Ough his hall. He was Sitting at hel feet, while she was still in the arm-chall She bent forward and hid her face on René's shouldel. “Don’t make me say any more,' she sighed ; then, after a few minutes, ‘What I should like to be to you is the friend who only enters into a man's life to bring him the Sweet and noble gifts of joy and coul age, the friend who loves and is beloved in Secret, away from the mocking world that snce1s at the puiest feelings of the Soul. I have committed a great Sin as 1t 1s’—hele she hid her face in her pietty hands— do not let it grow into that series of base and soldid acts which fills me with Such holrol in others. Spare me this, René, iſ you love me as you say you do . . . But tell me, do you 1eally love me so much 2' In deliveling herself of this pretty batch of lies she had seen in the face of her simple and romantic victim the raptuous joy with which these beautiful sentiments inspired him. The Madonna 1esumed the halo which she had tempolalily laid aside. Then, by a skilful Com- bination of ruse and affection, by giving to Cool calcula- tion an appearance of tendel est Susceptibility, she had led him to agree to the following convention as being the only one befitting the poetry of her love He was to look out for a small Suite of rooms Somewhere not very fal from the Rue Mulillo ; he would engage them in an assumed name, and they could meet the e two, three, O1 four times a week. She had suggested Batignolles, but 1t was so clevelly done that he almost imagined he had hit upon it himself, as Indeed upon the 1est of her ideas. He was to start out the vely next day, and then write to hel, poste restante, in Celtain initials, at a cel tain office. HAPPY DAYS I79 All these unnecessary precautions gave René an idea of the state of slavery in which his poor angel lived—if such an existence could be called living ! “Poor angel’ he had called her, as she gave utterance to a half-stified complaint concerning her husband's despotism and com- pared herself to a hunted animal, ‘how you must have suffered l’ And she had lifted her eyes to the ceiling with such a well-feigned expression of grief that, years afterwards, the man for whose benefit all this was done still asked, “Was she not since1e P’ There was, however, no need for so much theatrical display to make René joyfully accede to the plan pro- prosed by the clever pupil of Desforges. Simply out of love for her he would have agreed with pleasure and alacrity to any kind of scheme she put forward. But the ploglamme laid before him corresponded well with the romantic side of his nature. It enchanted the poet to dwell upon the idea of carrying such a delightful Secret with him through life, whilst the phraseology in which Suzanne had posed as the pation saint of his work had flattered his vanity, dieaming as he did of reconciling art and love, of uniting indulgence of the baser passions with that independence and solitude his work required. And now René, after so many days of torture, felt as though both his mind and his healt had wings. So great was his happiness that he did not even notice the look of pained surprise that his sister wore during the evening that followed Suzanne's visit. What had Françoise heard? What had she told Madame Fies- neau P That the latter was deeply agitated was very evident. The profound 1gnorance of certain women who ale both 1 omantic and pure exposes them to these rude sulprises. They interest themselves in love affails because they are women, and assist in the establishment of 1elations which they believe to be as 1nnocent as they ale themselves. Then, when they see the blutal conse- quences to which these relations almost necessarily lead, N 2 I8O A LIVING LIE their surprise is so great that but for its cruelty it would be comical. According to the description given her by the ser- vant, Emilie had no doubt as to the identity of the visitor, and the mere idea of what might have taken place there in her house filled the staid and pious mation with horlor. Her mind involuntarily reverted to the bitter tears she had seen on Rosalie's pale cheeks, and as she thought, first of the poor girl, of whose sincerity she was convinced, and then of the unknown Society lady for whom in hel Simplicity she had taken sides, she said to hel self, ‘What 1ſ René should be mistaken in this woman P’ But she was a sister too—a sistel indulgent to a fault, and, after a feeling of uneasiness which his evident distress had caused her during the past week, she had not the coul age to trouble her brother with 1eploaches On Seeing him look so happy. This mixtute of conflict- ing sentiments prevented her fiom plovoking any fiesh confidences, and René was become too discrect to make them. It was impossible for him to speak of Suzanne now, what he felt for her could not be expressed in words. He had found suitable apartments almost im- mediately in a quiet street in the centle of the Bati- gnolles qual ter, just where Suzanne had wanted them ; and almost immediately, too, chance had so willed it that he was flee to devote himself to hel entirely. A week had scarcely passed since Suzanne's appealance 1n the Rue Coetlogon when Claude Larcher, the only one of the poet's friends whom he visited at all often, sud- denly left Paris. He called on René, who had neglected him a little of late, about half-past Six One evening, in tlavelling garb, his face pale and agitated. The family were just Sitting down to dinnel. ‘I have only come to bid you good-bye,’ said Claude without taking a seat ; ‘ I am going by the nine o'clock Mont Cenis express, and I shall have to dine at the station.’ HAPPY DAYS I8 I “Shall you be away long P’ asked Emilie. ‘Chi ſo sa P’ replied Claude, “as they say in that beautiful land where I shall be to-morrow.’ “Lucky fellow !' cried Fresneau, ‘to be able to go and read Virgil in his own country instead of teaching donkeys to translate him l’ “Very lucky, indeed l’ said the writer with a forced laugh ; but when he took leave of René at the gate, where his cab laden with luggage awaited him, he burst into sobs. ‘It’s that beast of a Colette l’ he cried. ‘You remember that day you saw her in my rooms? God how sweet she looked And do you remember what she said, as I thought, in a joke? I can't even repeat it. . . . Well, things have come to such a pass that life fol me hele is unbearable, and I must be off for a time. I had no money, so I was forced to go to a usurer who lent me some at sixty per cent Terrible, isn't it P What with the usuler, my old aunt in the countly, to whom I was bad enough to write, my pub- lishel, and the editor of the “Revue parisienne’—who, by the way, has got me to sign a contract for copy—I have six thousand francs. As the train carries me along every turn of the wheel will seem to go over my heart, but at any rate I shall be getting away from her, and when she gets my lettel, written from Milan, what a grand 1evenge it will be l’ He rubbed his hands with Joy, then, shaking his head, said, ‘It has been like Heine's ballad of Count Olaf all along. You know how he talks of love to his betſ othed while the headsman stands at the dool--that headsman has always been at the door of Colette's chamber. But when he assumed the folm of a Sappho I could bear it no longer. Good- bye, René, you will not see me back till I am cured.’ Since then there had been no news fiom the unhappy fellow, of whom René generally thought when compal ing the noble woman he idolised with the savage and dan- gerous actress. Claude's absence was the reason why René never put in an appearance now at the green-room I 82 A LIVING LIF. of the Théâtre Français. Why should he expose him- self to the 1ancour of Colette's tongue, which no doubt wagged loudly enough when on the subject of her fugitive lovel P Thanks to this absence, too, all bonds between the poet and the world into which Larcher had 1ntroduced him were sevel ed. Undc1 the 1nfluence of his growing passion for Suzanne, the author of the ‘Sigisbée’ had 1gnored the most elementaly rules of etiquette. Not only had he neglected to call upon the different women who had so graciously invited him, but he had not even paid Madame Komof his duty visit. The Comtesse, who was large-minded enough to understand the unconventional ways of genius, and kind enough to forgive such irregu- larity, said to herself, ‘He was probably bored here, and, though not angry with him, had not asked him again. She was busy, too, fol the moment in b11nging out a Russian pianist who pretended that he was 1n direct communication with the soul of Chopin. René, feeling safe in that qual ter, had heald with 1egret that Madame Offarel was greatly offended that neither he no Emilie had come to the famous dinner whose ingredients it had taken her a week to collect from all parts of Paris. Fresneau had gone all alone. ‘A fine expedition you sent me on l’ he said to his wife on his return. “When I mentioned your headache the old woman gave a grunt that almost knocked me down, and when I told hel that René was gone to see a sick friend—a vely queel excuse, by the way, but let that pass—she said, “In some palace, I suppose !” During dinner pool Claude was the only topic of con- versation. She pulled him to pieces till he hadn't a rag on his back. “He is an egoist and an ill-mannered fellow, he is in bad health and has no futul e l’—and goodness knows what she didn't say ! If it hadn't been for a game of piquet with Offarel—and even that the sly old fox won. Oh !—Passart was there too. Remind me about recommending him to the Abbé for the college. HAPPY DAYS 183 He's a nice young fellow. Between you and me, I think Rosalſe rather likes him.’ Emilie could not help smiling at her husband's marvellous perspicacity. She had often heard Madame Offarel complain of the pressing attentions of the young drawing-master, and she 1mmediately under- stood that he had been asked at the last minute to prove that, besides René, there were other suitors on hand. Thereupon the Offal els, who had never allowcq four days to pass without coming in after dinner, had not set foot in the Rue Coetlogon for a fortnight. When they at last decided to 1esume their visits, at their wonted hour, they were escorted by the aforementioned Passart, a tall, fair, gawky lad in spectacles, with a shy look on his freckled face. Emilie saw at once that their motive in bringing him was to arouse her brother's jealousy, and the old lady was not long in showing her hand. ‘Monsicur Offarel is engaged this evening, she said, ‘SO Monsieur Passart was kind enough to b11ng us Give Monsieur Jacques that seat near you, Rosalie.' Poor Rosalie had not seen René since 1eceiving his cruel message through Emilie. In passing from the Rue Bagneux to the Rue Coetlogon—in reality a short, but to her an interminable distance—she had suffered agonies, and hel heart beat fast as she entered the 10om. She had, however, the courage to steal a glance at her old lover, as a kind of protest that she was not responsible for her mother's mean calculations, and the coul age also to reply coldly, as she took a seat in a cornel and placed a chair before her, “I want this chail to put my wool on. I’m sure Monsieul Passalt won't deprive me of it.’ ‘There's room here,' said Emilie, coming to the poor girl's aid, and giving the young man a seat next to herself. Rosalie firmly refused to play the rôle marked out for her, although she well knew what a terrible scene awaited her at home. And yet it would have been so natural if spite had inspired her with that petty mode of revenge. But 184 A LIVING LIE women with tiuly delicate feeling, who know what real love is, are strangers to such mean spite. To inspire a fickle lover with jealousy would horrify them simply because it would mean flirting with another, and such a proceeding is beneath them. Such scrupulous loyalty in spite of all is a touching proof of love, and one which ensures a woman a place in a man's 1egrets for ever. For ever ! But as far as regards the present hour and the immediate result, these loyal hearts get left far behind, and the flirts win. When the years have fled, and the lover, grown old, shall institute comparisons, he will understand the unique position held by her who would not cause him pain— even to win him back. Meanwhile he runs after the jades who make him drink the bitter cup of that degrading but intoxicating passion, jealousy. It is only fair to René to say that, in sacrificing Rosalie for Suzanne, he believed that he was acting in the interests of true love. When, next morning, his sister praised the girl's noble behaviour, he was quite sincere too in his reply, Smacking as it did, though, of naive self-conceit. ‘What a pity that such fine feeling should be wasted l’ ‘Yes,’ repeated Emilie with a sigh, “what a pity!” Had René had a thought for aught else than his love, the tone in which his sister had uttered these wolds would no doubt have revealed to him the change that her opinions had undergone with regard to Madame Moraines. His love, howevel, entirely absorbed him. His days were now parcelled out into two kinds—those on which he was to meet Suzanne and those which he was to spend without seeing her. The latter, which were by far the more numerous, were passed in the following manner. A great part of the morning he spent in bed, dreaming, for he was already beginning to feel a diminu- tion of vital energy. Then he bestowed much time upon his toilet, lavishing such attention on details as would convince a woman of experience that a young man was beloved. His toilet finished, he wrote to his HAPPY DAYS 185 Madonna. She had imposed upon him the sweet task of sending her an account of all his thoughts day by day. As for herself, he had not a line of her writing. She had said, ‘I am so watched, and never alone !’ And he pitied her as he devoted himself to compiling the detailed diary that she had demanded. This pose of a sentimental Narcissus gazing inces- santly upon himself and his love was well in keeping with that deep-rooted vanity which he possessed in common with nearly all writers. Suzanne had not sufficiently reflected upon the anomalous nature of a man of letters to have taken vanity into account. It pleased her to read René’s words when he was not there simply as a burning reminder of the kisses they had exchanged. When the poet had paid his morning devotions to his divinity in this fashion 1t was time for lunch. Immediately after that he would go to the Bibliothèque in the Rue de Richelieu and work un- remittingly at the notes for his ‘Savonarola,’ which he had again taken up, during the whole of the afternoon, and sometimes right on 1nto the evening He worked now without ever having, as in writing the ‘Sigisbée, those flashes of talent which pass from the brain to the pen, charging the memory with a flow of wolds and drawing the images with such precision and life-like resemblance that the effort of production becomes a strong but de- lightful intoxication that ends in a state of agreeable exhaustion To build up the scenes of the drama he was now writing, René had to keep his mind in a painful state of tension, and at a worse tension still to turn his prose sketches 1nto verse. His blain no longer served him in making happy finds. For this there were several important and distinct reasons. The first—a physical one—was the waste of vital energy Inseparable fiom all reciprocated passions; the second—a moral one—the constant hold that Suzanne had upon his mind and the inability to entirely forget her ; the last—an intellectual I 86 A LIVING LIE and secret one, though most powerful—was the deaden- ing influence which success exercises upon the gleatest genius. Whilst conceiving and writing he was beginning to think of the public. He saw before him the house on the first night, the clitics in their stalls, the fashionable people scattered here and there, and, Seated in a box, Madame Molaines He alieady heard the shouts of applause, as demoralising for a diamatic author as the number of editions 1s for a novelist. The desile to produce a certain effect took the place of that dis- interested, natural, and irresistible impulse which is a necessary condition in true alt. Still too young to possess the skill with which litelaly veterans can w11te impassioned phrases in cold blood, and even well enough to deceive the best clitics, René sought in himself that source of ideas which he no longer found. His play would not take shape in his mind in a natural and easy way. The goat-like featules of the Florentine monk and the tragic figures of the tellible pontiff Alex- ander VI., the violent Michael Angelo, the sour Machiavelli, and the formidable Caesar Borgia would not clothe themselves in flesh and blood before his eyes, in spite of the heaps of notes and documents he had col- lected and the pages erased again and again. Frequently he would lay down his pen and gaze up at the blue sky through the lace curtains of his window; he would listen to the noises in the house—the closing of a door, Constant playing, Françoise glumbling, Emilie passing quietly, Fresneau walking heavily—and then find him- self counting how many hours he had still to wait before seeing Suzanne ‘How I love her How I love her | he would exclaim, increasing his passion by the fervouſ with which he uttered these words. Again, he would delight in conjuring up a vision of the room in which these meetings, awaited with such feverish impatience, took place. He had been more lucky in finding a suitable HAPPY DAYS 187 place than his inexperience had led Suzanne to expect, It was a small suite consisting of three 1 Ooms, 1ather prettily furnished by Malvina Raulet, a brunette of about thirty-five, whose sweet voice, demure looks, and general air of propriety had at once enchanted René. This lady, whose attire was almost severe 1n its simplicity, gave herself out as a widow. She lived Ostensibly on a small income left hel by the late M. Raulet, an imaginary individual whose profession she defined in a vague way by saying that “he was 1n business.” As a matter of fact, the shrewd and cunning landlady had never been malried. She was, for the moment, being ‘protected by a 1espectable physician—a well-known man and the father of a family—whom she had so thoroughly taken in by her fine mannels that she managed to get five hundred francs a month out of him, regularly paid on the first, like the salary of a Civil Servant. Being before all else a thrifty soul, she had conceived the idea of increasing hel monthly 1ncome by letting out three of the rooms she did not want, and as there were two doors to her flat she was able to give this small Suite a separate entrance. The almost elegant furnitute it contained had come to her as a weird 1n- heritance. Fol ten years she had been the mistress of a madman, whose family, desiring for some reason to keep this insanity secret, had paid her well. Upon her unhappy lover's death, Malvina had, according to promise, received twenty thousand francs and the contents of the house in which she had played such a strange palt. This woman's dark and hideous past René was nevel to know. In that gay city, where clandestine attachments abound, how many of the thoughtless youths who hile such places know aught of the history of those who pandel to their wants P Nor could the poet think for one moment that this woman with the irreproachable manners had seen right through his demands at the first glance. He had told her that he lived in Versailles, and that he was obliged to come I 88 A LIVING LIE to Paris two or thiee times a week. The name he gave her was that of his favourite helo—the paradoxical d'Albeit in “Mademoiselle de Maupin ; ” but as he wrote it at the bottom of the agreement which the careful Madame Raulet got him to sign, he placed his hat on the table, and there the crafty landlady could plainly read the real Initials of her new lodgel. “If you would like my servant to undertake the cleaning of the rooms,” she said, ‘1t will be fifty francs a month extra ' This exorbitant demand was made in such a cool tone, and Madame Raulet, moreover, looked so thoroughly respectable, that René dared not discuss the amount. He could, however, not help eyeing her somewhat distrustfully. He appearance, it was true, disarmed all suspicion She wore a dalk dress, well but simply made Round her neck hung one of those long gold chains so much worn at one time by the French bour- geoisie—a chain which had no doubt once belonged to her sainted mother. She wore her watch in her belt; a brooch containing a lock of white hair—that of a beloved fathel, most probably—fastened her neat lace collar, and through the meshes of the silk mittens that covered her long hands might be seen her wedding ring. As René was leaving, this virtuous cleature remarked, ‘The house is a very quiet one, Sir You are a young man,’ she added with a smile, and you will not be offended if I make so bold as to say that the least noise on the stairs at night, or anything like that, would be sufficient reason for my asking you to leave.’ René felt himself blush as she spoke. In his exces- sive simplicity he feared lest the worthy widow might give him notice after his first meeting there with Suzanne. This ridiculous fear 1mpelled him to visit his landlady immediately Madame Moraines had gone under pretence of speaking to her about some trifling matter he wanted done. She received him with the HAPPY DAYS I89 polite air of a woman who knows nothing, understands nothing, and has seen nothing, although she had been watching Suzanne's departure from her window, and had, with the practised eye of a Parisian, taken that lady's measure at a glance. Malvina now saw through it all—her lodgel's visitor was a woman in the first ranks of Society, but he himself, although well diessed, showed by the cut of his beard, his hair, his walk and his whole appealance that he belonged to a lower station in life. The landlady thought that most probably the rent would be paid by the mistress, and not by the lover, and she regretted not having asked mole than five hundred francs a month besides the fifty for attendance. The whole of the flat cost her fourteen hundred francs a year, and she paid her maid-of-all-work forty-five francs | No matter, she would make up fol 1t in the extras—in the filing, the washing, and especially in the meals, if ever the young man asked her to provide lunch, as she had offered to do. “She is an excellent woman, and very attentive,’ said René, when Suzanne questioned him about Madame Raulet. Was the poet wi ong in being so trustful ? Of what use would it have been to indulge, as Claude would have done, in a pessimistic analysis of this woman's chal acter, except to conjule up thoughts of blackmail and othel dangels, all entirely imaginal y, as it happened 2 For although Malvina was far fiom being a saint, she was at the same time a bourgeouse who had a sincere hankeling aftel respectability, and who plo- posed, as Soon as she had made her little pile, to return to her native town of Tournon, and lead a life of abso- lute purity. The fear of Seeing hel name figule in the report of some evil-smelling case was sufficient to detel her from practising any pronounced form of 1mposition. So far did her love of 1espectability Carly her that she wove a complicated web of falsehoods to the concierge about her new lodgel. She made out that Suzanne and René were a happy couple who lived in the country all I90 A LIVING LIE the year round, and that they were distantly 1elated to the late M. Raulet. Then, in order that he should have nothing whatever to do with the said concierge, she herself handed René two keys even before he had asked for them. What ca1ed the poet for the real cause of her attentiveness 2 The young have sense enough not to go into facts which lend themselves to the gratification of their desiles This system sometimes leads them along perilous paths, but they cull many a flower by the way- side and enjoy 1ts fragrance, nevertheless. When the poet walked across half Palis to reach his little suite in the Rue des Dames there was a music in his heart that shut out all dissonant voices of suspicion. His meetings with Suzanne were generally in the morning. René had never asked himself why that time of the day was most convenient to his beloved. As a mattel of fact it was the houl when she was most certain of escaping the watchfulness of Desforges. In the forenoon the hygienic Baron devoted himself to what was dearest to him on earth—his health. First he had a bout of fenc- ing, which he called his ‘dose of exercise’, then he galloped through the Bois, which was his “air cule'; lastly he “burnt his acid, a formula he owed to Doctor No1rot. The double Madonna, who had studied her man thoroughly, knew that he was as much a slave to these rules of health as Paul was to those of his office. She therefore felt a secret pleasure in thinking of her hus- band seated at his desk, of her ‘excellent friend' bestliding an English male, and of her René entering a flol 1st's to buy some flowers wherewith to adorn the chapel of their love. Roses were his usual choice, roses red as his darling's lips, roses fair as her blushing cheeks, fresh and living blooms that filled the air with their sweet and penetiating perfume. As she was borne towards the harbour of their love she knew that René would be standing at the window listening to the rattle HAPPY DAYS I91 of the cabs as they passed. How delighted he would be when hers stopped before the house ! She would ascend the stairs, and there he would be waiting for her, having softly opened the door so as not to lose one second of her sweet presence. Then he would hold her in his arms devouring her with Silent kisses that pierced the black lace veil as they sought her fresh and mobile lips. Suzanne's great triumph consisted in her ability to p1eserve her innocent Madonna-like expression amidst all the madness of their love ; and, by a Singular dis- pensation of nature, too, this Strange Creature was entirely devoid of all sense of remoise. She belonged, no doubt by heredity, being the daughter of a states- man, to the great 1ace of active beings whose dominant trait is a faculty for distributing their energies. These beings have the power to make the most of the present without allowing themselves to be troubled either by the past or the future. In modern slang we find a p1etty phrase to express this power of temporary oblivion—it is called “Cutting the Cord.’ Suzanne had parcelled out her life into three parts—one belonging to Paul, one to Desforges, and one to René. During the time she devoted to each there was such absolute suspension of the 1est of her existence that she would have had some difficulty in 1ealising the extent of her duplicity had she cared to probe her conscience—a ploceeding she never dieamt of whilst the opium of pleasure couised through her brain. She generally remained with René till about twelve o'clock, and when she was gone Madame Raulet would send up his lunch ; and he would stay in the rooms for the 1est of the day, ostensibly to work, for he had some of his papels there, but really to gloat over the 1eminiscences that floated in the vely air he breathed. When night was beginning to fall he would wend his way homewards, under the twinkling gas lamps that illumined his route, possessed by a divine languor that seemed to combine and blend into one haſ monious whole all the delights of the day. I92 A LIVING LIE CHAPTER XV COLE TTE'S SPITE THIS delightful existence had been going on for about two months with nothing to break its Sweet monotony but the pain of parting and the joy of meeting when, one morning, just as René was about to proceed to the Rue des Dames, Françoise handed him a letter that made him stalt, for on 1t he recognised Claude Lalcher's handwriting. By calling at Laichel's rooms René had learnt from Ferdinand that the writer had stopped at Florence and then at Pisa. He had even sent him a letter to each of these towns addressed poste restanțe, but had received no reply. He saw by the postmark that Claude was now in Venice, and with feelings of intense curiosity he tore open the envelope, 1eading the contents as he strolled down to the river through the quiet suburban streets on this fair Spring morn that was as flesh and blight as his own love. ‘Venice, Palais Dario : Apul, 1879. ‘MY DEAR RENE,--I am wiiting you these lines from you. Venice—from that Venice whence you evoked the cruel featules of your Coelia and the sweet face of your Beatrice ; and as this fairy-like City is, as it always was, the land of improbabilities, the city of the Undines, which on these Eastern shores are called sirens, I have, like Byron, discovered a small furnished suite in a most delightful little palace on the G1 and Canal, a palazzino with marble medallions on its façade, all ol namented, carved, and engraved, and leaning as badly as I do on my bad days. As I scribble this letter I have the blue waters of the Canal Grande under my window and alound me the peace of this great city—the Cora Pearl of the Adriatic, a wretched play-writeſ would say—like the silence of a dream. My deal fellow, why have I COLETTE'S SPITE I93 brought my battered old heart here of all places—here, where I feel it beat louder and stronger in the sweet stillness 2 I must tell you that it is two o'clock, that I have just breakfasted at Florian's under the arcades after having been to San Giorgio in Bragora to look at a divine Cima, that I am to dine to-night with two ladies directly descended from the Doges—fair as the creations of Veronese—and Some Russians as amusing as our friend Beyle's Korazoff, and that, instead of feeling elated, I have come home to look at Her Portrait—with a capital H and a capital P-the portrait of Colette René, René, why am I not seated 1n my stall at the Théâtre Français, gazing at her as Camille in “On ne badine pas avec l’amour"—a divine play, as bitter as “Adolphe,” yet as sweet as the music of Mozart P Do you 1emember her smile as she holds her pretty head on one side and says, “Are you sure that a woman lies with all her soul when her tongue lies 2 * Do you remember Perdican and these words: “Pride, thou most fatal of human counsellors, why art thou come between this maid and me P” All my story—all our story lies in those few words. Only 16 happens that I am the real Perdican of the play, having in my soul that source of idealism and love, ever flowing in spite of experience, ever pure in spite of so many sins ! And she, my Camille, has been stained by so much shame that nought can wash her clean Alas ! how sadly the would treated my flower—when I wished to inhale its fiagiance I found 1nstead a Smell as of the glave ‘Come, come, 1t was not to write you such stuff that I sat down before my balcony, through the carving of which I can see the gondolas pass. They glide and Slant and turn about, looking SO pietty with their slim, funereal shapes. If each of these floating biels callied away one of my dead dieams, what an Interminable procession there would be on the diealy waters! Would that I wole an etcher | I know what Dance of Death I would engrave—a flight of these black barques in the O I94 A LIVING LIE twilight, with white skeletons as gondoliels at the prow and poop, and a 10w of 1uined palaces for a background. Under it I should wi ite. “Such is my healt l” After a youth mole down-trodden than the grapes in the wine- tubs, and when I had just emerged flom the miserable di udgely of my plofession, it was this hol 11ble slavery of love that stated me 1n the face—this love with 1ts basis of hatred and contempt Why, just Heaven l—why P Who could have guessed on that July evening when this mad- ness began that I was entering upon one of the most Solemn periods of my life 2 I had been dining alone after a hard day's work, and, in Older to get a little fresh air and pass the time until ten o'clock, I was just strolling wherevel my fancy took me, gazing 1dly at the passers-by What invisible demon led my steps to the Comédie Fran- çaise Why did I go up 1nto the gleen-room, where I had not been for months, to shake hands with old Falguet, about whom I did not cale a rap P Why had I such a ready flow of wit and such b1 illiant 1epartee at my com- mand at that very moment—I who, at fashionable dinnels, had fiequently found myself as dumb as the ca1p & /a Chamāord on the dish 2 Why was Colette the e in that adolable costume that belongs to the old re?erfozre 2 She was playing Rosine in the “Balber of Seville,” and I went to the fiont to heal hel sing the air, “When Love b11ngs us spling again.” Why did she look at me as she Sang 1t, and show Such 1eal emotion that I dated Scal cely believe it was meant fol me * Why had she those lips, those eyes, that face on which might be 1ead the suffelings of a conquered Psyche, a prey to love 2 How passionately we loved each othel from that vely first evening ! And it was only the second time we had met. Can you undel- stand how I was mad enough to expect fidelity fiom a g|11 who had thrown herself at me in that fashion ? As soon as I got back behind the scenes she invited me into hel dressing-1 oom, and before we had becn theſe a qual ter of an hour hel lips wele piessed to mine in most painful ecstasy. Fool that I was I ought to have taken her COLETTE'S SPITE I95 for what she was—a chal ming courtesan—and 1e- membered that women are just the same to others as they ale to us Instead of which— ‘Let us leave this road, my dear René, fol I perceive a fingel-post on which is written “To despail,” like the posts in that forest of Fontainebleau where I took her one Summer morning in a dog-cart drawn by a black horse named Cerberus. I can see the horse now, with a fox-tail hanging down ovel his forehead, and my Colette beside me, looking pale, but so beautiful. When was she not beautiful to me P But let us leave, I say, this fatal road, and come to the present, of which I owe you an account, since you have been good enough to write me several such nice letters. When I left you in the Rue Coetlogon and hied me off to Italy—it sounds like a song !—I wanted to see whether I could do without her. Well, the experiment has been made—and has failed. I cannot. I have argued with myself, and I have struggled long and hard. Since my departure I have got up not ten—but twenty, thirty times, and sworn not to think of her during the whole of that day It's all 1 ight fol a qual tel of an hour, fol half an houl even. But at the end of that time I see her again I see hel eyes and her mouth, I see those gestures I have seen in none other—the pietty way she had, fol instance, of laying hel head on my shouldel when I held hel in my aims, and then, wherevel I may be, I am obliged to stop and lean against a wall, so shal p is the pain that plences my heart. Would you believe that I had to leave Florence because I spent my time in the “Uffizi " before Botticelli's “Madonna Incoronata,” a photo of which you have seen in my 1ooms ? I have sometimes taken a cab from the other end of the town 11m oldel to 1 each the gallely before closing time, so that I might gaze upon the canvas once mole. The angel on the 11ght, the one that lifts the cultain, 1s the very image of her, and weals that look which has so often made me pity Colette and bewail her misfortune when I ought to have killed her. O 2 I96 A LIVING LIE “So I left Florence and came to Pisa, the dead city whose sweet silence had enchanted me in days gone by. I had taken an immense fancy to the square in which stand the Dome, the Baptistely, and the Belfry, with a cemetery wall and the remains of a battlemented rampart to enclose it. Then there was the shore of the Gombo two houls distant—a sandy desert among the pines—and the yellow Arno flowing sluggishly by My room looked out upon the dreary river, but it was full of sunshine, warm and clear, and I had come there filled with a glorious plan. An old maxim of Goethe had come into my mind, “Poetry is delivelance l’” “I will try it,” I said to myself, and I swore not to leave Pisa before I had turned my grief into literature. Perhaps, in making bubbles out of the tears I had alieady shed, I might forget to shed flesh ones. These bubbles glew 1nto a story which I called Analysis. You have no doubt 1ead 1: 1n the Revue partszenile. Don't you think 1t as good as anything I have done? As you see, it is the whole story of my sad love, every detail is absolutely col rect, from the episode of the letter to my jealousy of the Sapphos. What do you think of Colette—isn't she well drawn P And of me P Alas ! my dear fellow, would that I had obtained peace of mind by besmirching the 1mage of her I have so loved, by dragging 1n the dirt the 1dol once adolned with freshest roses, by dishonouling the dear past with all the strength at my command Hear the result of this noble effolt—I had no sooner posted the manuscript of this story than I went home and wrote to Colette asking her to forgive me. An excellent Joke, this maxim of Goethe–a sublime Philistine and a Jupite1, as they used to style him I have plunged a pen into my wound to use my blood for 1nk, and I have only poisoned myself aflesh If I am to be cured at all, time 1s the only thing that will cure me. But, after all, why be cured P ‘Yes, why I have been proud—I am ploud no longer. I have struggled against the passion that abased COLETTE'S SPITE I97 me—I will struggle no more. If I had the cancer in my cheek, should I be ashamed of it 2 Well, I have a cancer in my Soul, and make no attempt to check its growth. Listen to the end of my story. Colette did not answer my letter. Could I expect her to be kind to me after my behaviour P I had already begun to humble myself by writing to her. I went on doing so. Then I commenced to feel such delight as I had never felt before—that of degrading myself before hel, of letting her trample upon my manly dignity. I wrote to her a second, a third, a fourth time. “My novel appeared, and I wrote to her again—letters in which I delighted in humbling myself, letters that she might show about and say: “He has left me, he insults me, and yet see how he loves me!” Should not those very insults have proved to her how much I loved her ? You don’t know her, René ; you don't know how ploud she is, in spite of all her faults. What pain that wretched novel must have caused hel I scarcely dare to think, and that, too, is why I dare not come back. In my present state of mind I could not possibly face a scene such as we used to have, and to live longer without her is equally beyond me. I have therefore decided, my dear René, to ask you to go and speak to her. I know that she has always liked you, and that she is really grateful to you for the pretty rôle you wrote her. I know that she will believe you when you say to her, “Claude can stand it no longer—have pity on him.” Tell her, too, René, that she need have no fear of my horlible temper. The rebellious Larcher she could not bear exists no longer. To be neal hel, to live in hel shadow, to have her near me, I will tolerate all, all—you understand. Our last months together wele not all honey, it is tiue, but what a paradise they were com- pared with this Infei no of absence And we had our happy hours, too—those afternoons we spent together in her rooms in the Rue de Rivoli, overlooking the gardens of the Tuilei les. The bustle of the great city I98 A LIVING LIE went on around us as I held my darling pressed to my heart. See how my hand trembles only to think of it ! If I have ever done you a service in the past, as you Say I have, be my friend now and call on her, show hel this lettel, speak to her, appeal to her heart. Ask her to say that she forgives me and that I may come back to her. Good-bye. I await yout reply in agony, and you know what torture that machine is capable of Suffering which calls itself your old friend ‘C. L. ‘P.S.—Go to the Revue office and ask for five copies of my story; I can get rid of them hele.’ ‘How like him l’ said René, after having 1ead this strange epistle, which was nothing but a bundle of the different elements that made up Claude's composite personality Childish sincerity wedded to a taste ſol dramatic display; a love of posing even when suffeling bitter anguish ; most Susceptible professional vanity and an absolute lack of all pictensions ; profound Self-know- ledge and total inability to govern himself—all this was there. “I shall go to the theatle to-night if Colette is playing,’ said René to himself. He bought a paper and saw her name in the list for that evening. “But,’ he thought, ‘how will she 1eceive me?’ He was so interested in what would happen and so moved by his dear friend's glief that he could not help telling Suzanne all about 16 as soon as he reached the trysting-place. He even gave her the letter to read, and as she handed it back to him she said: “Poor fellow !” adding, in an indifferent tone, ‘Haven't you really ever mentioned me when talking togethel P’ ‘Yes, once, quite casually, replied René, with some hesitation. Since he had become Suzanne's lover he had nevel forgiven himself for the question he had put to Claude about hel—the unfortunate question which had drawn down upon him the sarcasm of his friend. Suzanne mistook the cause of his hesitation and COLETTE'S SPITE I99 returned to the charge. “I am sure that he said some- thing nasty about me P’ * Indeed, he didn't,' replied René, in a tone of assurance. He was too well acquainted with the play of Suzanne's face not to have rema1 ked the look of anxiety in her eyes as she put her second question, and he, in his turn, now asked : ‘How you distrust him Why?’ ‘Why?’ she repeated with a smile ; ‘because I love you so dearly, René, and men are so bad.' Then, wishing to entirely destroy the effect that her excessive dist1ust might have produced in the poet, she added, ‘You must go and see Mademoiselle Rigaud.’ ‘Celtainly I must,” said René ; ‘I intend going to- night. And you ?’ he asked, as he often did, ‘how are you going to spend yout evening P’ ‘I am going to the theatre, too, she replied ; “but not behind the scenes. My husband wants to take me to the Gymnase. Why do you put me in mind of it? I shall be quite miserable enough when I'm there all alone with him . . Come, give me a nice kiss' That voice, sweet as the Sweetest music, was still 1n the poet's ears, and his soul was still troubled by those kisses, more intoxicating than Strong drink, when about nine that night he entered the stage door of the Théâtre Français in order to reach the celebrated green-room. He cast a glance round the dool keeper's lodge, re- membering that the 10om had been one of the stations In Claude's Calvary. Frequently, when entering the theatle togethel, Lalcher would say to his friend as he pointed to the pigeon-hole that contained Colette's lettels: ‘If I stole them I should perhaps know the truth.” ‘How happy I am, thought René, ‘not to know that tellible malady called Suspicion l’ And he smiled as he ascended the stall case, whose walls are covered with the politiaits of actols and actlesses of a bygone age. There, fixed on the canvas, are the grinning faces 2OO A LIVING LIE of past Scapins—there the Célimènes, who lived and loved long years ago, still Smile down upon us. These reminders of milth for ever vanished, of passions for ever stilled, of once happy generations for ever gone, have something strangely sad about them for the dieamers who feel their life, like all life, slipping away, and who realise the brevity of human joys. Often had René experienced this feeling of vague sadness; it came over him again now, in spite of him- self, and made him hasten to the green-room, expect- ing to find a good many acquaintances there with whom he might exchange a few words of greeting. But he found the place entirely given up to two actors in Louis XIV. costumes, their heads adorned with enor- mous wigs, their legs incased in 1ed stockings, and their feet cramped in high-heeled shoes. They were engaged in a political argument, and took no notice of the poet, who heald one of them, a long, thin, bilious-looking creature, say to the other, a round, red-faced individual, “All the misfortunes of our countly alise from the fact that people do not take sufficient interest in politics.” ‘What a pity Larcher isn't hele !’ thought René as he caught these words; he knew what pleasure they would have given his friend, the exclamation that would have escaped him—‘This is grand l’—and how he would have clapped his hands with delight. Every- thing in this part of the theatre reminded him of Claude, who had so often accompanied him theie. They had sat together in the little green-room, now empty. Together they had descended the few steps that lead behind the scenes, and, slipping in between the proper- ties, had mingled with the actors and actresses standing in the narrow passage waiting for their calls. Colette was not there, and René determined to go up the steep stail case and along the interminable corridors lined with private dressing-rooms. He at length reached the door that bore the name of Mademoiselle Rigaud ; he knocked, feebly at first, but conversation was probably COLETTE'S SPITE 2O I going on inside, and he was not heard. He had to knock louder. ‘Come in l’ cried a shrill voice, which he recognised ; it was the same that could make itself SO sweet to recite : If kisses for kisses the roses could pay . . . On opening the door the visitol entered a tiny ante- room, which communicated with a tiny dressing-room. René lifted the gilt-embroideied cuſtain of black satin that divided the two miniatule apartments, and found himself in an atmosphere overheated by the lamps and the presence of six people; five of these were men, two in evening dress being evidently “swells,’ and the other three friends of the actless of a slightly inferior order. One of the two black-coated gentlemen was Salvaney, but he did not 1ecognise René. He and his friend were the only two who were seated. The ottoman on which they sat had been 1e-covered with an old Chinese dress of pink satin ; it was Claude who had given Colette that dress, and who, in the heyday of their love, had presided over the arrangement of the whole dressing-room. He had ransacked Paris to collect the panels set in bamboo frames which adorned the walls. Thiee of these panels bore figures of Chinese women painted on pale silk. The widest, which, like the heavy cuſtain, was of black satin, represented a flight of white birds amidst peach blossoms and lilies of the valley. Bright-coloured fans and bunches of peacock's feathers distributed here and there, and a gleat gilt dragon with enamelled eyes suspended fiom the ceiling, helped to give this pretty little cabin an ail of charming Oliginality. Colette, with her hair all undone and her bare arms emerging flom the wide sleeves of a loose bright blue dressing-gown, was “making up under the gaze of the five men. Before her, on the dressing-table, stood a whole row of pots filled with different salves. There were other pots, containing white, yellow, and pink powder, and a few saucers filled with long ‘tlagedy ' 2O2 A LIVING LIE pins, while hale's feet covered with paint, enormous powder puffs, black pencils, and Small sponges lay Scattered all about. The actless could see who entered by looking in the large glass before her. Recognising the author of the ‘Sigisbée, she half turned and showed him hel hands covered with vaseline as an apology fol not offering him one, and by the look she gave him René understood how prudent Claude had been in not coming back without some plevious understanding. ‘Good evening !' she clied. “Why, I thought you were dead, but I see by you face that you’ve only had an Cxcess of happiness I’m playing you to-morrow, you know. Sit down, if you can find 10om.’ And before René had time to 1eply she turned to Salvaney, saying: “Well, I will if you like. Come for me to- morlow at twelve. Aline will be there, and we'll go and have lunch together filst.’ Having uttered these words, she daited another look at René. The lines of her mouth deepened, and her chal ming face Suddenly assumed an explession of Intense cruelty. The words had 1eally been hurled in defiance at Claude through his most intimate filend. This filend would cel tainly 1epeat them to the jealous lover. It was just as if she had shouted through space to the man whom she could not forget in spite of his flight and his 1nsults: ‘You are not here, and so I do exactly what will cause you most pain' She then exchanged a few words with the other visitols, 1ecommending some pool fellow in whom she was intel ested to One, importuning another for the 1nsertion of a complimentary notice in some papel, returning to Salvaney to ask him for a tip for the next races, until at last, having wiped her hands, she rose and said, “And now, my deal fellows, 1t is vely kind of you to stay, but '-pointing to the doo!—‘ I am going to dicss, so you must go. No, not you,' she went on, speaking to René, and not minding the others, ‘I want COLETTE'S SPITE 2O3 to talk to you for a minute.” As soon as they were alone, and she was again seated before the glass pencil- ling her eyeblows, she asked, ‘Have you read Claude's infamous work P’ ‘No,' replied René, “but I have 1eceived a letter ſrom him ; he is terribly unhappy.” “Oh I haven't you read it?’ cried Colette, intell upt- ing him. “Well, read it ! You will see what a cad your friend is l’ Crossing her arms, she tuned to face the poet, the angry glitter in her eyes intensified by their painted 1 ings and by the artificial pallor of her cheeks. ‘Tell me, is it 1 ight for a man to insult a woman P What have I done to this gentleman I 1efused to slavishly obey his whims, to cut off all my friends, and lead the life of a dog | Did he imagine that I was his wife P Did he keep me * Did I ask him for an account of what he did P And cven if I had been in the wrong, was that why he must go and tell the public all the lies he can invent about me P He's a cad, I tell you—a low cad You can write and tell him so fiom me, and tell him that I shall sp1t in his face when I see him Your fine gentleman treated me like a drab, did he P. Well, he shall find out how the drab takes her 1evenge | Not yet, Mélanie, she said, as the dresser came in, ‘I’ll call you in a quarter of an houl.” “But if he did not love you,' 16plied René, taking advantage of this interruption, “he would not carly on in this fashion. He is maddencq by grief.” “Oh ! don't come to me with such rubbish, clied Colette, shrugging her shoulders and again setting to work on her eyeblows; “do you think that creature has got a healt P And he's no friend of youis, my dear fellow. If you had heard him making fun of your love affairs you would know what to think of him.’ ‘Of my love affails 2' 1cpeated René, in blank astonishment. ‘Come, come,' said the actress, with a nasty laugh, ‘it’s no use trying to bluff me; but when you want a 2O4. A LIVING LIE confidant, choose a better one than your friend Monsieur Larcher P’ ‘I don't understand you,' replied the poet, his heart beating fast; ‘I have never made a confidant of him.’ ‘Then he must have invented the story of your being in love with Madame Molaines, that pretty, fair woman, the mistress of old Desforges. Well, that beats all !' ex- claimed the cluel actless, with the bitter and ironical laugh of a creature whose pride has been deeply wounded. The unhappy Claude, who in his tender moments forgot what he thought of Colette in his lucid ones, had simply said to hel on the moſrow of René's visit, “Poor Vincy is in love.’ ‘With whom P’ she had asked. And he had told her. Colette was well acquainted with the 1umours that were afloat concerning Suzanne and the Balon, thanks to the habit most fast men have of retailing Society scandal, be 16 true or not, to the demi-mondaines whom they fiequent. In alluding to René's love affair with Madame Molaines, the actress, beside herself with passion, had spoken almost at random, in O1 der to lower Larcher in his fliend's esteem. Seeing the effect that her words had produced on the latter, she continued the theme. To torture the man she had before her, and in whose features she could read the suffering she caused, was to satisfy to a certain extent her thirst for revenge against the other, knowing, as she did, how deal the poet was to Claude. ‘Claude did not tell you that,’ cried René, excitedly, ‘and if he were here he would for bid you to slander a woman whom he knows to be worthy of your respect.’ “Of my 1espect l’ repeated Colette, with a shuill, nervous laugh. “What do you take me for, my dear fellow 2 Of my respect Because she has a husband to hide her shame and help her spend the old man's money P Of my respect Because she wants a higher wage than the girl in the street who hasn't the price of a dinner P Do you believe in them, these Society women? And look here,' she cried, rising in her fury and betray- COLETTE'S SPITE 2O5 ing her low extraction by the way in which she jerked her head and blinked her eyes, “if you don't like me telling you that she is your mistress and the Baron's too, go and fight it out with Claude. It’ll furnish my fine gentleman with copy. Are you beginning to have the same opinion about him as I have P Between you and me, my boy—just you keep your eyes open. Worthy of my respect ' Hall haſ ha | No—that's a bit too thick. Well, good-bye. This time I am going to dress in earnest. Mélaniel’she cried, opening the door, “Mélaniel Give Claude my compliments, she added, as a parting shot, “and tell him that trifling with Colette 1s as dan- gerous as trifling with love.’ With this allusion to the play so enthusiastically mentioned by Claude 1n his letter, she pushcd René out of her room, and as she closed the door broke out once mole into silvery but cruel, mocking laughter—laughter that was a stiange mixture of affectation and hatred, of a courtesan's nonchalance and the vengeance of a slighted mistless. CHAPTER XVI THE STORY OF A SUSPICION ‘WHAT a wicked woman | What a wicked v, onian muttered René as he went down the stall case, now 1e- echoing with the shouts of the call-boy. He tiembled with agitation and asked himself, ‘What harm have I ever done hel P’ folgetting that for a quarter of an hour he had 1eplesented Claude in Colotte's cyes. Pelhaps the joy felt by the actless in wounding him to the quick might have had its rise in the malice often occasioned by a man's unwillingness to pay his fi ſend's mistless attentions. The loyalty of one man to anothel ranks amongst the Sentiments most Odious to women. ‘What have I done to hel P’ repeated the poet, unable 2O6 A LIVING LIE to find an answer to his question, unable even to collect his thoughts. There ale phrases which, flung at us un- expectedly, will stun us as Surely as any blow physically dealt. They bring about a sudden cessation of all con- Sciousness—a cessation even of pain. René was not quite himself again until he stood in the Place du Palais Royal amid its throng of traffic. The first feeling that animated him was a fit of ful 10us 1age against Claude. ‘The perfidious wietch l’ he cried ; “how could he trust my Secret to a cleature like that 2 And such a secret, too ! What did he know about it P’ A slight blush and a moment's hesitation in uttering her name. ‘He thinks that is sufficient evidence upon which to slander a woman he hardly knows, and in the ears, too, of a hussy whose Infamy he pioclaims fiom the housetops l’ He 1ecalled to mind every detail of the only con- versation in which Lalcher might have discovered his nascent feelings for Suzanne. He saw himself once more 1n Claude's 10oms in the Rue de Valenne, with the manuscripts arid proofs strewn about, and the writer's face looking livid in the greenish light of the stained- glass windows. He saw the sceptical smile flit across that face whilst the sarcastic lips uttered the words: “So you are not in love with he l’ Bolne on the same wave of memory came other visions connected with the last He heald Suzanne's voice saying on the occasion of his third visit : “Youl fliend M Lalchel —I am sule he doesn't like me.’ Had she not explessed hel dist1ust of him only that morning 2 Hel suspicions had, indeed, been only too well justified. And then 1ſ he had only contented himself with coupling her name with his, René's. But he had even dared to make this other vile accusation--that she was kept by Desforges Not that René haſ bouled the least shadow of a suspicion against his divine mistless—1t was not that which maddened him—but the knowledge that Colette had not lied in claiming to have heard this infamous thing fiom Larcher. If Laichel 1epeated it, he must have got THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 2O7 it from some one else. And if Suzanne had insisted, as she had twice done, upon being told how Claude spoke of hel, it was because she knew she was exposed to the insult of this abominable calumny. René 1 emembeled the old beau whom he had once met at her house, with his military bearing, his 1ed, bloated face, and his grey hair. And then he saw he as she had looked only that morning, so fail, so white, so dainty—with he pale blue eyes and that peculia, an of 1efinement that lent an almost 1deal chai m to her most passionate emblaces. Was 16 possible that such vile calumnies could have been spread concerning this woman ‘People ale too horribly wicked ' ' exclaimed René aloud “And as for Claude——’ His affection for him had becn So Since1e, and 1 was this man, his deal est friend, who had spoken of Suzanne in such a shameless mannel, like a blackguard and a traito. What a contrast with the pool angel thus insulted, who, knowing it, had taken no further revenge than to Say, ‘I have folgiven him ' ' On every other occasion when she had spoken of Claude It had becn to admiſe him for his talents and to pity him for his faults Another phrase of Suzanne's suddenly struck him ‘That is no reason why he should ſevenge himself by ſorcing his attentions upon any woman chance throws in his way I got quite angry One day when he was seated next to me at table’ ‘That is the 1eason l’ said the poet to himself with 1eturning angel ; “he has paid hel attentions which she has 1 epciled, and SO he slandels hel. It is too disgusting !’ A pley to these painful reflections, René had walked as fal as the Place de l'Opé1a, and, mechanically turning to the right, had ascended the boulevard without 1eally noticing where he was. Hatred and 1ancoui were so repugnant to his Soul that these feelings were soon Supplanted by the love he bole the beautiful woman so basely reviled by the vindictive actress. What was she doing at that moment? She was yondel, in a box at 2O8 A LIVING LIE the Gymnase, obliged to sit out some play with her husband, and, no doubt, Sadly dreaming of their love and their last kisses. No Sooner had he conjured up hel adolable image than he was seized with an in- stinctive and il resistible longing to see her in the flesh. He hailed a passing cab and gave the driver the name of the theatle. How often had he been similarly tempted to go to some place of amusement when he knew Suzanne would be there ! But having given his mistress a promise that he would not do so, he had always sciupulously 1epelled the temptation Besides, he took a curious pleasure in dwelling upon the absolute distinction between the two Suzannes—between the woman of fashion and his simple love—above all, he feared to meet Paul Moraines. He had 1cad El nest Feydeau’s ‘Fanny,' and was more aflaid of the terrible jealousy described in that fine work than of death itself. To an analytical wiitel, like Claude, this would have been an excellent reason fol Seeking an encounter with the husband, so as to have a new kind of wound to examine under the microscope. The poets who have not turned their art into a trade nor their hearts into a raree-show are possessed of an instinct which makes them avoid such deglading expel 1ments; they respect the beauty of their own feelings, Whilst the cab was rolling along towards the Boule- vald Bonne-Nouvelle all these Sc1 uples, which René had once so 1 cligiously obselved, 1 ctuined to him. But Colette's wolds had moved him mole deeply than he caled to admit. A hideous vision had flashed across his b1ain. He half feated that it might Come again, and he know that Suzanne's plesence was the best preventive. Love1s frequently have these appalently unway ranted ideas—the results of an instinct of Self-preservation which out feelings, like animate beings, possess. The cab rolled on whilst René defended his infraction of the agreement made with his mistless. “If she could know what I have been obliged to hear, would she not THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 2O9 be the first to say, “Come and read my love for you in my face " ? Besides, I shall only look at her for a quarter of an hour, and then go away purged of this stain. And what of the husband P. Well, I must see him sooner or later, and she tells me he is nothing to her l’ Madame Moraines had not failed to make her favourite lover swallow the improbable fable served up by all married women to their paramours, though some- times the fable is true—for woman will be a riddle to all etelnity—as the reports of the divorce cases prove. In the delicacy with which Suzanne had allayed his most secret and least legitimate feelings of Jealousy René found an additional pretext for denouncing those who slandered this sublime creature. ‘This woman the mistress of Desforges | Why? For money P What nonsense ! She, the daughter of a Cabinet Minister and the wife of a business man | Claude, Claude how could you ?’ This tumult of ideas was somewhat stilled by the necessity for action as soon as the poet reached the doors of the Gymnase. He was most anxious that he should not be seen by Suzanne, and stood on the steps Outside for a moment lost in reflection. The first act was just over, as he could see by the people flocking out, and this circumstance furnished him with an idea for beholding his mistress without being observed by her. He would first take a ticket for one of the cheaper seats in order to get into the house; then, having found out where Suzanne was sitting—which he could easily do during the interval from the corridor at the side of the stalls—he would take a better seat, from which he could safely feast his eyes upon her adorable features. As he entered the theatre he was startled for a moment by coming face to face with the Marquis de Hère, one of the swells he had seen at Madame Komof's ; the young nobleman, wearing a sprig of heather in his button-hole, was swinging his stick and humming an air from the then popular “Cloches de Col neville’so lightly * > • * * e º: P, 2, e > * * * * 3. 3. * * x p 2 ° * 2 IO A LIVING LIE that he could haldly hear it himself. He brushed past René without recognizing him, or appearing to do so, any more than Salvancy had done an hour ago The poet quickly made his way to one of the entrances to the stalls. He had not long to look ; Madame Moraines was in the third box from the stage, almost opposite him. She occupied the front seat, and there were two men in the background ; one, a fine young fellow, with a long beard and a pale complexion—the husband, no doubt—was standing up. The other, who was seated But why had chance—it could only be chance— brought into that box on this very night the man whose name the wretched actress had just coupled with Suzanne's P Yes, it was indeed Desforges who occupied the chair behind Madame Moraines. The poet had not the slightest difficulty in recognizing the Baton's ener- getic countenance, his pleicing brown eyes, his fall moustache, his high coloul, and his forehead Sul mounted by a wealth of almost white hair. Why did it distress René to see this old beau talking so familiarly to Suzanne as she sat theſe fanning hel Self, hel face turned towards him, whilst Moraines scanned the boxes with his opera-glass P Why did it cause him such pain as to make him turn hastily away 2 For the filst time since he had had the happiness to catch sight of this woman on the threshold of the Komof mansion, looking so fair and slim in hel 1ed gown, Suspicion had entered his soul What suspicion P. He could not possibly have ex- pressed it in words. And yet? When Suzanne had spoken to him about the theatre that morning she had told him that she was going alone with her husband. What motive had led her to pervert the truth? The detail, it was tiue, was of no importance. But a lie, be it great or small, is still a lie. After all, perhaps Des- forges was only visiting them in their box during the interval. This explanation seemed so natural as well as acceptable that René adopted it on the spot. g { º ºr { r * r * THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 2 II Returning to the box-office, he asked for an outside stall, on the left, having calculated that from this seat he would have the best opportunity of watching the Moraines without being seen himself. Meanwhile the audience had again settled down and the curtain rose. Desforges did not leave the box. He kept his seat at the back, leaning forward to talk to Suzanne. But why not? Could not his plesence be explained in a thousand ways without Suzanne having lied ? Could not Moraines have invited him without his wife's knowledge He spoke familiarly to the woman, it is true, and she answered him in a similar manner. But had not he, René, met him at her house A gentleman is sitting down in a theatre talking to a lady he knows. Does that prove that there is a vile bond of sin existing between them P The poet argued in this fashion, and his arguments would have seemed to him irrefutable if he had seen on Suzanne's face a single one of those traits of melancholy he had expected to find. On the contrary, as she sat there in her elegant theatre-gown of black lace, with a little pink bonnet on her fair hail, eating, with dainty fingels, from the box of crystallised fruit that stood before her, she looked thoroughly happy, and as though she had not a care in the world. She laughed so heartily at the jokes in the piece, and her eyes were so bright and sparkling as she chatted with her two com- panions, that it seemed impossible to imagine she had only that morning paid a visit to the shrine of her most seclet and heartfelt love. The emotions called forth by her meeting with her lover had left so few traces on her face, now beaming with pleasure, that René scal cely believed his own eyes. He had expected to find her so very different. The husband, too, with cordial joviality expressed in his manly features, seemed by no means the crabbed and suspicious recluse Suzanne had led her credulous lover to imagine. The unhappy fellow had come to the P 2 2 I 2 A LIVING LIE theatre to get rid of the pain which Colette's words had caused him, but when he reached home his distress had only increased. It has often been said that we should not keep many friends if we could hear those to whom we give that title speak of us behind our back. It is an even less satisfactory experiment to take by Surprise the woman we love. René had just tried it, but he was too passionately fond of Suzanne to believe in this first vision of his Madonna's duplicity. ‘What am I worrying about after all 2' he thought, on waking next morning, and finding that he was still a prey to his painful feelings. ‘That she was in a good temper last night? I must be very selfish to reploach her with that That Baron Desforges was in her box when she had told me that she was going to the theatre with her husband alone P. She will explain that next time I see her. That her husband's face was not in keeping with his character 2 Appearances are so de- ceptive How thoroughly have I been deceived in Claude Larcher, with his wheedling ways and his frank face . How often has he done me a favour and then pretended he had forgotten it, and yet how basely he has betrayed me after all !’ All the cruel impressions he had experienced on the preceding evening were now concentrated in a fresh and more furious fit of resentment against the man who, by his wicked gossip, had been the primary cause of his trouble. In the excess of his unjust anger René ignored the unquestionable merits of his friend and protector— absolute disinterestedness, a devotion that hoped for no return, and a total lack of literary envy. He was not even charitable enough to admit that Claude might have spoken to Colette unthinkingly and incautiously, but without any treacherous intentions. Suzanne's lover felt that he could not remain the friend of a man who had gone so far as to say what Larcher had said of his mistress. That is what René kept repeating to himself the whole day. On his return from the Biblio- THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 2 I 3 thèque, where he had found it almost impossible to work, he sat down to his table to write this villain one of those letters that are not easily forgotten. Having finished it, he read it over. The terms in which he defended Madame Moraines proclaimed his love, and now more than ever did he wish to keep that a secret from Claude. ‘What is the use of writing to him at all P’ he thought; ‘when he comes back I will tell him what I think of him—that is much better.’ He was just about to destroy this dangerous letter when Emilie came in, as she often did before dinner, to ask him how he was getting on with his work. With a woman's innate curiosity, she read the address on the envelope, and said, “Oh is Claude in Venice P Then you've heard from him l’ “Never utter that name before me again l’ replied René, tearing up the letter in a kind of cool rage. Emilie said no more. She had not been mistaken in her brother's accents. René was in pain, and his anger against Claude was vely great ; but since he was silent concerning its cause, his sister knew that the latter must be something more than a mere literary dispute. By that intuition which always accompanies tender affection, Emilie guessed that the two writers had quarrelled on account of Madame Moraines, whose name René never mentioned now, and whom she was beginning to hate for the same reasons that had at first prompted her to like her. For Some weeks past she had noticed a great mental and physical change coming over her brother. Although a model of purity herself, she was shrewd enough to attribute this degeneration to its true cause. She noticed it as she copied the fiagments of the ‘Savonarola’ in the same way as she had copied the ‘Sigisbée'; and although hel admilation for the lightest trifle that came from René's pen was intense, there were many signs by which she could see how differently the two works had been inspired—from the 2I4 A LIVING LIE number of lines written at each sitting to the continual reconstruction of the scenes and even to the handwriting, which had lost a little of its bold character. The bubbling spring of clear, flesh poetry in which the ‘Sigisbée' had had 1ts Soulce seemed to have diicd up What change had taken place in René's life P A woman had cntercă 1t, and 1t was the efore to this woman's 1nfluence that Emilie atti ibuted the momentaly impailment of the poet's faculties. She went still ful thei, and hated this unknown but formidable c1 cature for the pain inflicted on Rosalie. By a strange lapse of memory, frequently met with in generous natures, she forgot what palt she had herself taken in hel blother's 1 upture with his for mel fancée. It was Madame Molaincs whom she blamed for 1t all, and now this same woman was emblolling René with the best and most devoted of his filends—the one whom his faithful sister preſerica because she had gauged the strength of his fi ſendship. “But how could it have happened, she thought, “since Claude is not heic 2' She cudgelled hel b1ains for a solution to this p1oblem whilst attending to her household duties, hearing Constant's home lessons, making Out Fresneau's bills, and conscientiously examining every button-hole and seam of her brothel's linen. René was shut up in his 1 oom, where everything 1eminded him of Suzanne's One hCavenly visit, and with feverish 1mpatience he awaited the day appointed for their next meeting. Slander was doing 16S secret work, like some venomous sting. A poisoned man will go about without knowing that he is ill, except for a vague feeling of restlessness, but all the while the virus is fel menting in his blood and will produce sudden and term ible results. The poct still treated the shameful accusations b1 Ought by Colette against Suzanne with Scoln, but, by dint of pondering on her words in older to refute them, his mind became mole accustomed to their tenour. At the moment when the actless had made her tel rible THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 2 I 5 charge he had not stooped to 1ebut it; but now, as he turned it ovel in his mind, he tuied to save himself fiom a tel11ble abyss of doubt and from the most degrading jealousy by clutching at the marks of SincCrity Suzanne had given him. What, then, were his feelings when, at the very outset of their next meeting, he re- ccived undeniable proofs that hel sincerity was not what he had thought 16 He had reached the Rue des Dames with a troubled look on his face that had not escaped Suzanne. In reply to her solicitous inquilies he had pictended that it was due to an unfail alticle that had appeared in Some paper, but had almost immediately felt ashamed of this 1nnocent excuse, so sweetly had his mistless 1ebuked him. ‘You big baby, you cannot have success without inspiring jealousy.' ‘Let us talk about you instead, he replied, and then asked, with a beating healt : “What have you becn doing since I saw you last P’ Had Suzanne been watching him at that moment She must have seen his agitation. It was a trap—inno- cent and simple enough—but a trap for all that. In three times twenty-four houls suspicion had brought the enthusiastic lover to this degree of distiust. But Suzanne could not know this, for he was treating her in exactly the same way as she was treating Desforges. She did not think René capable of stepping out of the only rôle in which she had seen him. How could she imagine that this simple boy was trying to catch her P ‘What have I been doing 2' she repeated. ‘First of all I went to the Gymnase the other evening with my husband. Fortunately we haven't much to say to each othel, so I could think of you just as well as if I were alone—I do feel so alone when I am with him. You talk of the tioubles of your literary life—if you only knew the misery of my so-called life of pleasure and the loneliness of these wealy tete-d-têtes /’ 2 I6 A LIVING LIE ‘Did you feel boled at the theatre, then P’ continucci René. ‘You were not there, she replied with a smile, and looked mole intently at him. “What is the mattel, love P’ She had never seen this bitter, almost hard, expres- sion on René's face, ‘It’s very stupid of me, but I can't forget that article,' said the poct. ‘Was it so very bad, then 2 Where did it appear 2' she asked, her instinct of danger thoroughly aroused ; but René, being unable to reply to this unexpected question, merely stammered, ‘It isn't worth your trou- bling to read it.’ This only confirmed her suspicions—he was angry with her about something. A question rose to her lips : “Has some one been speaking ill of me?” Her diplo- macy, howevel, got the better of her impetuosity. Is not anxiety to disarm Suspicion almost a confession in itself? The really innocent are quite callous. Her best course was to find out what René had been doing himself, and what persons he had seen who might have told him something ‘Did you go and see Mademoiselle Rigaud 2’ she asked, indifferently. , ‘Yes,’ 1eplied René, unable to disguise his emba11ass- ment at the question. ‘And has she forgiven poor Claude P’ continued Suzanne. ‘No,' he 1ejoined, adding : “She is a very bad woman,’ and in such a bitter tone that Madame Molaines at once guessed paſt of the truth. The actress must certainly have spoken of her to René. She was again seized with a desile to provoke his confidence, and reflected that the Sulest means of attaining her object was by intoxicating her lover with passion. She knew how powerless he would be to resist the emotions her caresses would let loose, and at once sealed his lips THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 217 with a long kiss. By the silent and frenzied ardour with which he returned it Suzanne understood not only that René had suffered, but that she had, to a great extent, been the cause. In her sweetest voice, and in tones best calculated to reach that heart which had always been open to her, she said, ‘What is this trouble that you won't tell me?’ Had she uttered those words at the beginning of their interview he would not have been able to resist them. Amidst tears and kisses, he would have repeated what Colette had said | But alas ! It was no longer Colette's words that caused him his present sufferings. What now gave him frightful pain and pierced his heart like a dagger was the fact of having caught her, his 1dol, 1n a deliberate lie. Yes, she had lied ; this time there was no doubt about it. She had told him that she had been to the theatre with her husband only, and that was false ; that she had been sad, and that was false too. Could he reply to hel question, which betrayed affec- tionate concern, by two such clear, explicit, and 1rrefutable charges He had not the courage to do it, and got Out of the dilemma by repeating his former 1 eply. Suzanne looked at him, and he was obliged to turn his head. She only sighed and said, “Poor René !’ and, as 1t was almost time ſor her to go, she pushed her inquiries no further. ‘He will tell me all about it next time, she thought as she went home. In spite of herself she was worried by René's silence. Her love for the poet was since1e, though it was a very different passion from that which she expressed in words. Before all else it was a physical love, but, corrupted as Suzanne was by her life and her surroundings, or perhaps because of this very col ruption, the poet's nobility of soul did not fail to 1mpless her. And to such an extent that she 1magined their romance would be robbed of half its delight if ever the circle of illusions she had drawn 1 ound him were broken. That some one had tried to bleak this magic circle was evident, 2 I 8 A LIVING LIE and this some one could only be Colette. Everything seemed to prove it. But, on the other hand, what reason could the actress have for hating her, Suzanne, whom she probably did not know, even by name P Colette and Claude were lovers, and here Madame Moraines again came upon the man whom she had dis- trusted from the first day. If Colette had spoken to René about her, Claude himself must have spoken about her to Colette. At this point her 1deas became confused. Larcher had never seen hel with Rcné. And the lattel, whose word she did not doubt, had told hel that he had confided nothing to his fliend. ‘I am on the wrong track,’ thought Suzanne. A1 gue as she would, she could not convince hel self that René was so troubled on account of this pletended newspapcr alticle. There was dangel 1n stole for the dear 1 elations that existed between them. She felt it, and the feeling became still more pronounced by what her husband told her on the very next day after her unsatisfactory inter- view with René. It was just before seven, and Suzanne was alone in the little salom where she had first cast hel net over the poet —a net as finely woven and as yielding as the web in which the spider catches the unwary fly. She had had more callers than usual that afternoon, and Desforges had only just gone Suddenly Paul came in in his wonted noisy way and 1n high animal spirits. Seizing hel by the waist—for she had started up at his boistel- ous entry—he said, ‘Give me a kiss—no, two kisses,’ taking one after the other, “as a rewald for having been good.’ Seeing the look of interrogation in Suzanne's eyes, he added, ‘I have at last paid Madame Komof that visit I’ve owed her for so long. Whom do you think I met there P Guess—that young poet, René Vincy. I can’t understand why Desforges doesn’t like him. He's a charming fellow ; he pleased me immensely. We had quite a long talk. I told him that you would be very glad to see him. Was I doing right P’ THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 219 ‘Quite right,’ replied Suzanne; ‘and who else was there P’ Whilst her husband was reciting a list of familiar names she was thinking : ‘What reason had René for going to Madame Komofºs ?’ This was the first call of that kind he had made since the beginning of their attachment. He had so often said to his m1stress : ‘I want only you and my work.’ It had been his custom duling the past few months to give her a full account not only of what he had done, but of what he was going to do, and yet he had said nothing of this visit, so entirely out of keeping with his present mode of life. And he had met Paul, who had no doubt proved himself the vely opposite of what his wife had described him to be. Suzanne felt quite out of temper with the kind- heaſted fellow who had been guilty of calling on the Comtesse on the same day as the poet, and she said, in an almost petulant tone : ‘I am sure you haven't wiitten to Crucé for that Alençon.’ ‘I have wi itten,’ 1eplied Moraines, with an air of triumph, “and you shall have it.’ Clucé, who acted as a sort of private art bloker, had spoken to Suzanne about some old lace, and 1 was this she wished hel husband to get her. From time to time she would ask him for something that she could show hel fiends and say, ‘Paul is so good to me. This a present he brought me only the other day.” She would forget to add that the money fol Such plesents generally came flom Des- forges—in an indirect way, 1tistiue. Although the Balon seldom troubled himself with business mattels except so far as the careful investment of his capital necessitated, he often had opportunities fol speculating with almost absolute safety, and always gave Moraines a chance of doing the same. The Compagnie du Nord, of which Desforges was a directol, had 1ecently taken ovel a local line that was on the brink of 1 uin. Paul had succeeded in making a profit of thirty thousand fiancs by purchasing Some shares at the 1ight moment, and it 22O A LIVING LIE was out of this piofit that Suzanne was going to have her lace. This little business operation, too, had in- directly led to a somewhat strange scene between René and his mistress. In the couise of conversation she had asked him how much the ‘Sigisbée' had produced, adding, ‘What have you done with all that money ’’ ‘I don't know,’ René had replied, with a laugh. My Sister bought me some stock with the first few thousand francs, and I have kept the test in my drawer.’ ‘Will you let me talk to you like a sister, too P’ she had said. “A fliend of ours is a director of the Com- pagnie du Nord, and he has given us a valuable tip. Do you promise to keep it a seeret 2'. Thereupon she had explained to him how to get hold of some shales. ‘Give your orders to-morrow, and you can make as much as you like.’ ‘Hold your tongue!’ René had said, putting his hand over her mouth. “I know it's very kind of you to talk like that, but I can't allow you to give me that SO1t of information. I should feel ashamed of myself.' He had spoken so seriously that Suzanne had not dared to press the matter, though his scruples had appeared to her somewhat ridiculous. But then, if he had not been SO unsophisticated and such a goffeur, as she called him in that horrible Parisian slang that spares not even the highest forms of sentiment, would she have been so fond of him P And yet it was this very innocence of soul that she feated. If ever he should get to hear what her life was really like, how his noble heart would turn against her, and how incompatible it would be with his high sense of honour ever to forgive her | A hunt had, nevertheless, somehow 1 eached him. In going over the different signs of danger that she had noticed one after anothel —René's trouble, his anger against Colette Rigaud, his reticence and his unexpected visit to Madame Komof—Suzanne said to herself: ‘I made a mistake in not getting him to explain at once.’ THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 22 I When, therefore, she made her appearance in the Rue des Dames a few days late1 she was fully determined not to fall into the same el ror again. She saw at once that the poet was even more distressed than before, though she pretended not to notice this distress nor the cool manner in which he rcoeived her first kiss. With a sad Smile she said to him : “It was very silly of you, dear, not to tell me you were about to call on the Comtesse. I would have taken care that you were spared a meeting which must have been very painful ?” ‘Painful?’ repeated René in an ironical tone that Suzanne had never heard him use before, ‘why, M. Moraines was charming.’ ‘Yes,’ she replied, ‘you have made a conquest. He, so sarcastic as a rule, spoke of you with an en- thusiasm that really pained me. Didn't he invite you to call on us? You may be proud. It is so rare that he welcomes a new face. Poor René, she con- tinued, placing both her hands on her lover's shoulder, and laying her cheek on her hands, ‘how you must have suffered l’ ‘I have indeed suffered,’ replied René, in a hollow voice. He looked at the pretty face so near his own and remembered what Suzanne had said to him in the Louvre before the portrait of the Giorgione's mistress, ‘How can anyone lie with a face like that P’ Yet she had lied to him. And what p1 Oof had he that she had not been lying all along Whilst a prey to the torments of suspicion, and especially since his meeting with Paul, the most frightful conjectures had entered his mind. The contrast between the Molaines he had seen and the tyrannical husband described by Suzanne had been too great. “Why has she deceived me on that point too P’ René had asked himself. He had called on Madame Komof without any dis- tinct aim, but in the secret hope of hearing Suzanne spoken of by those of her own set. They at least 222 A LIVING LIE would be sure to know her | But alas ! his conversation with Molalnes had sufficed to involve him in more hol rible doubt than ever One thing was now very plain to him ; Suzanne had used her husband as a bug- beal to keep him, René, fiom visiting their house. Why —if it were not that she had something in her life to hide 2 What was this something P Colette had taken upon herself to answer this question in advance. Under the 1nfluence of that horl ible suspicion, René had con- ceived a plan, very simple of execution, and the result of which he thought would plove decisive. He would take advantage of the husband's invitation to ask Suzanne for permission to visit her at home If she said yes, she had nothing to hide ; if she said no—— And as this 1esolution recuried to the poet he con- tinued to gaze upon that adorable face resting on his shoulder Each one of those dear featules recalled fresh memories | Those eyes so clear and blue—what faith he had had in them | That noble brow—what refined thoughts he had imagined 1t to sheltel I Those delicate, mobile lips—with what Sweet abandonment had he heald them speak | No–what Colette had told him was 1mpossible ! But why these lies—a filst, a second, and a third time P Yes, she had lied three times. There is no such thing as a trivial lie. René understood this now, and felt that confidence, like love, is governed by the great law of all or nothing, We have it or we have 1t not. Those who have lost it know this only too well. ‘My poor René !’ 1epeated Suzanne. She saw that he was in that State when compassion Softens the healt and opens it wide. “Poor indeed l’ 1eplied the poet, moved by this mark of pity, that came just when he had most need of it; then, looking into her eyes, he unburdened himself. ‘Listen, Suzanne, I prefer to tell you all. I have come to the conclusion that the life we are leading now cannot last. It makes me too unhappy—it does not THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 223 satisfy my love. To see you only by stealth, an hour to-day and an houl in a few days' time, to know nothing of what you ale doing, to share no part of your life, is too cluel. Be quiet—let me speak. There was a weighty objection to my being received in your house— your husband. Well—I have seen him I have borne the ordeal. We have shaken hands. Since 18 1s done, allow me at least to benefit by my effort. I know the e is nothing very noble in what I am saying, but I have no desile to be noble—I love you. I feel that my mind is getting full of all kinds of ideas about you. I entreat you to let me come to your house, to live in your world, to see you elsewhere than here, where we meet only to— “To love each other l’ she exclaimed, interlupting him and shaking hel head ; “do not utter blasphemy.' Then, sinking down into a chair, she continued, ‘Alas ! my beautiful dream is over then—that dieam in which you seemed to take as much delight as I–the dream of a love all to Ourselves, and only for ourselves, with none of those complomises that horrified us both !’ ‘Then won't you let me come and see you as I ask 2' said René, returning to the change. ‘What you are asking me to do is to kill our happiness,’ cried Suzanne ; ‘so sensitive as I know you to be, you would never stand the shocks to which you would be exposed, You know nothing of that world in which I am obliged to live, and how unfitted you are for it. And afterwards you would hold me responsible for your disenchantment. Give up this fatal idea, love, give it up for my sake.’ ‘What is there then in this life of yours that I may not see P’ asked the poet, looking at her fixedly. He could not be aware that Suzanne had only one aim in view—to get him to tell her the reason of this sudden desire—for she concluded that it must be the same 1eason which had caused his distress the other day, and which had taken him to Madame Komofºs so unexpectedly. She was not mistaken as to Rene's 224 A LIVING LIE meaning, and replied in the broken accents of a woman unjustly accused : ‘How can you talk to me like that, René P. Some One must have poisoned your mind. You cannot have got hold of such ideas yourself. Come to my house, lovel Come as often as you like 1 “Something in my life that you may not see”—I, who would rather die than tell you a lie l’ ‘Then why did you tell me a lie the other day?' cried René. Conquered by the despair he thought he could see in those beautiful eyes, disarmed by the permission she had just given him, unable to keep the secret of his grief any longer, he felt that necessity of unbosoming himself which, in a quarrel with a woman, is as good as putting one's head into a noose. ‘I told you a lie P’ exclaimed Suzanne. ‘Yes, when you told me you went to the theatre with your husband.’ “But I did go y “So did I,’ said René ; ‘there was some one else in your box.’ ‘Desforges 1’ cried Suzanne; ‘you’re mad, my dear René—mad He came into our box during one of the intervals, and my husband made him stay till the piece was over. Desforges l’ she repeated with a smile, ‘why, he's nobody. I didn't even think of mentioning him. Seriously, you don't mean to say you're jealous of Desforges?’ ‘You looked so bright and happy, rejoined René, in a voice that already showed signs of relenting. ‘Ungrateful man,’ she said ; “I wish you could have read what was going on within me ! It is this necessity for continual dissimulation which is the bane of my life; and now, to have you reproach me with it ! No, René— this is too cruel, too unjust l’ “Forgive me ! Forgive me!’ cried the poet, now perfectly convinced by the natural manner of his mistress. “It is true. Some one has poisoned my THE STORY OF A SUSPICION 225 mind. It was Colette How justified you were in your distrust of Claude Larcher l’ ‘I did not allow him to pay me attentions,’ said Suzanne ; “men never forgive that.' ‘The wretch !’ cried the poet angrily, and then, as if to rid himself of his grief by telling it, he went on : ‘He knew that I loved you. How P Because I hesitated and got confused the only time I ever mentioned your name to him. He knows me so well ! He guessed my Secret and told his mistless all about it—and a lot of other lies. I can’t repeat them to you.’ ‘Tell me, René, tell me,’ said Suzanne, wearing at that moment the noble look of resignation that is seen on the faces of those who go to the scaffold innocent. ‘Did they say that I had had lovers before you?” ‘Would that it were only that l’ exclaimed René. ‘What then, mon Džew 2° she cried ‘What does it matter to me what they said, but that you, René, should believe it ! Come, confess, so that you may have nothing on your mind. I have at least the right to demand that.” “True,' replied the poet, and looking as shamefaced as though he were the guilty one, he stammered rather than pionounced the following words: “Colette told me she heard from Claude that you were . . . No-I can't say it—well, that Desforges . . .” ‘Still Desforges,’ said Suzanne, interrupting him with a swect but ironical smile ; “it is too comical.” She did not want René to formulate the charge that she could now guess. It would have wounded hel dignity to descend to such depths. ‘You were told that Desforges had been my lover—that he was still so, no doubt. But that is not slander—1t is too ridiculous to be that. Pool old friend—he who knew me when I was as high as that l—he and my fathel were always togethel. He has seen me grow up, and loves me as if I were his own child. And it is this man whom— No, René, swear to me that you didn't believe 1t, Have I deserved that you should think so badly of me?’ Q 226 A LIVING LIE CHAPTER XVII PROOFS IN that strange mental disease called jealousy the intervals between the attacks are periods of delight. For some days or fol some hours the feelings of love regain their divine sweetness, like a return to strength in convalescence. Suzanne had so fully convinced René of the absurdity of his suspicions that he did not wish to be behind her 1n generosity, and refused to avail himself of the permission to call in the Rue Murillo for which he had so earnestly entreated. Two or three phrases uttered in the right manner and with the right explession will always ovel come the deepest distrust of a devoted lover, provided he has not had ocular proofs of treason—and even then But here the ele- ments of which this first suspicion was composed wele so fragile ! It was therefore with absolute good faith that the poet said to Suzanne, who was hel self quite delighted with this unexpected result, ‘No, I shall not come to your house. It was foolish of me to desire any change in our relations. We are so happy as we are.’ ‘Yes, until some wretch libels me again, she replied. ‘ Promise me that you will always tell me.’ “I swear I will, love,’ said he. “But I know you now, and I am more sure of myself.” He said so, and he thought so. Suzanne thought so too, and gave hel Self up to the delights of her paradise regained, though fully aware that she would have a second battle to fight when Claude returned. But could Larcher say mole than he had already said P Besides, René would tell her of his return, and if the first meeting of the two men did not result in a definite rupture it would be time to act. She would make her lover choose between breaking entirely with Claude or PROOFS 227 with herself, and about his choice she had no doubt whatever. In spite of his protests, the poet seemed to be less sure of himself, for his heart beat fast when, on his return home from the Bibliothèque one evening about a week after the Scene with Suzanne, his sister said to him, ‘Claude Larcher is back.’ ‘And has he dared to call here P’ cried René. Emilie was visibly embarrassed and said, ‘He asked me when he could see you ?’ ‘You should have answered “Never,”’ replied the Oet. poe René !’ exclaimed Emilie, ‘how could I say that to an old friend who has been SO kind and devoted to you ? I think I had better tell you ’ she added ; “I asked him what had taken place between you. He seemed so surprised—SO painfully surprised—that I will swear he has never done you any harm. There is some misundelstanding I told him to come to-morrow morning, and that he would be sure to find you in.” ‘Why don't you mind your own business P’ cried René anglily; ‘did I ask you to meddle in my affairs P’ ‘How unkind you ale !” said Emilie, deeply hurt by her brother's words, and almost in teals. “All right, don't cry,' replied the poet, somewhat ashamed of his roughness; “perhaps it is better that I should see him. I Owe him that. But after that, I never want to heal his name again. You understand— never !” In spite of his apparent firmness, René did not sleep much that night, but lay awake thinking of the apploaching meeting. Not that he had much doubt about the 1ssue, but, try as he would to increase his resentment against his old fliend, he could not get as far as hating him. He had grown extremely fond of this peculiar individual who, when not intentionally disagreeable, commanded affection by his sincere though frivolous nature, by his originality, by those very faults Q 2 228 A LIVING LIE which only harmed himself, and above all by a kind of innate, indestructible, and invincible generosity. On the eve of severing their friendship René recalled to mind how it had originated. Claude, then very poor, was a tutor in the Ecole Saint-André when René him- self was a scholar in the Sixth form A curious legend concerning the eccentric professol was told in this well- conducted and eminently religious institution. Some of the boys declared they had seen him seated in an open carriage next to a very pretty woman dressed in pink. Then one day Claude disappealed from the school, and René did not see him again until he turned up at Fresneau's wedding as best man, and already on the 1 oad to fame. After some talk over old times, Claude had asked to see his poems. The wiiter of thirty had shown as much indulgence as an eldel brothel in reading these first essays, and had imme- diately treated the aspiring lad as an equal. With what tact had he submitted these rough sketches to the processes of a higher criticism—a criticism which encourages an altist by pointing out his defects with- out crushing him beneath their weight. And then had followed the episode of the ‘Sigisbée, in which Claude had displayed unusual devotion for one who was himself a dramatic author. The poet was sufficiently well acquainted with literary life to know that even simple kindness 1s ral ely met with between one genelation and the next. His rapid success had already procured him what is perhaps the bitterest experience of the years of apprenticeship—the jealousy of those vely masters he admited most, in whose school he had formed his style, and at whose feet he would so gladly have laid his sprig of laurel. Claude Larcher's delight 1n another's talent was as spontaneous and as sincere as if he had not all eady wielded the pen for fif- teen years. And now this valuable, nay, unique fliend- ship was to be severed. But was it his fault, René asked himself, as he tossed about in his bed, and recalled all PROOFS 229 these things one aſter another P Why had Lalcher spoken to this wretched girl as he had done? Why had he betrayed his young friend, who looked up to him as a brother P Why? This distressing question again led René's mind to ideas from which he turned instinctively. Basilio's famous phlase—“Slander, slander—some is sure to stick’ —expresses one of the saddest and most indisputable truths concerning the human heart. René would, it is true, have despised himself for doubting Suzanne after their reconciliation, but every suspicion, even a ground- less one, leaves behind it some poisonous remnant of dis- trust, and had he dared to look into the very depths of his soul he would have recognised that fact in the un- healthy curiosity he felt to learn from Claude what reasons had led him to make his lying accusation. This curiosity, the reminiscences of a long friendship, and a kind of fear of the man who, by his age alone, had always had an advantage over him—all tended to lessen the anger of the wounded lover. He tried to work him- Self up to the same degree of fully that had possessed him on leaving Colette's dressing 100m, but he was not successful. Like all who know themselves to be weak, he wished to rear an insurmountable barrier between Claude and himself at once, and when Lalcher made his appearance at nine o'clock, and held out his hand in friendly greeting, the poet kept his own hand in his pocket. The two men stood for a moment facing each other, both very pale. Claude, though tanned by his travels, looked thin and careworn, and his eyes blazed at the insult offered him. René knew to what lengths Larcher's angel would lead him, and expected to see the hand he had refused raised to strike a blow. But Claude's will was stronger than his offended pride, and he spoke in a voice that trembled with suppressed passion. ‘Vincy, do not tempt me. You are only a child, and it is my duty to think for both of us. Come, come ! 23O A LIVING LIE Listen, René–I know all. Do you understand P All– yes, all. I arrived yesterday. Your sister told me that you were angry with me, and a good many other things that opened my eyes. Your silence had frightened me. I thought that you had betrayed me with Colette. Fool that she is Fortunately she hadn't the sense to guess that there was my vulnerable point. On leaving here I went to her house. I found her alone. She told me what she had done—what she had told you, and gloried in it, the hussy. Then I did what was right.' Here he began to malch up and down the 100m, absorbed in recollections of the scene he described and almost oblivious of the poet's presence. “I beat her—beat her like a madman. It did me good. I flung hel to the glound and rained blow upon blow until she cried “Mercy! mercy l’ I could have killed her—and taken a delight in it. How beautiful she looked, too, with her hair all tumbling about and her dress hanging in shreds where I had toin it from her snowy shoulders. Then she glovelled at my feet, but I was relentless, and left the house. She can show the marks on her body to hel next lover if she likes, and tell him from whom she got them. How it relieves one to be a brute sometimes l’ Then, suddenly stopping before René, he said, “And all because she had touched you. Yes or no,' he cried, in his same angry tone, ‘is it on account of what this jade told you that you are angry with me P’ ‘It is on that account,’ 1eplied René coldly. “Very well,' said Claude, taking a seat, “then we can talk. There must be no misunderstanding this time, so I shall be as plain as I possibly can. If I understand rightly, this wretch of a girl has told you two things. Let us proceed in order. This is the first—that I told her you were intimate with Madame Moraines. Excuse me,’ he added, as the poet made a gesture “Between us two, in a matter affecting our friendship, I don't care a rap for the conventionalities that forbid us to mention a woman's name. I am not conventional myself, and PROOFS 23 I so I mention her. Infamy number one. Colette told you a lie. This was exactly what I had said to her—I recollect the words as though it were yesterday, and regretted them before they had left my mouth—“I think poor René is falling in love with Madame Moraines" The only thing I went by was your embarrassed manner when mentioning hel to me. But Colette had seen you sitting next to her at Supper and paying her great attention. We had joked about the mattel—as people will joke about these things—without attaching much importance to it. At least, I didn't—but all that's nothing. You were my friend. Your feeling might have been a serious one—it was, as 16 happened. I was wrong, and I frankly apologise in spite of the insult which, on the word of this vile drab, you have just offered me—me, your best and oldest friend l’ “But then why, cried René, ‘did you give me away to this creature, knowing what she was P And again, had you spoken only of me, I would have forgiven ou—— you Let us pass on to this second point,' said Claude, in his calm, methodical tone, ‘that is to say, to the second lie. She told you that I had 1nfo1 med her of Madame Moraines' relations with Desforges That is false. She had heard of them long ago from all the Salvaneys with whom she dined, supped, and fluted. No, René—1f there is anything with which I reproach myself, 1t is not for having spoken to hel about Madame Moraines —I could not have told her anything she didn't know It is for not having spoken to you openly when you came to see me. I was fully acquainted with the depravity of this second but mole fashionable Colette, and I did not wain you of it while there was yet time. Yes, I ought to have spoken—I Ought to have opencil your eyes and said: “Woo this woman, win her and wear her, but do not love her.” And I held my peace My only excuse is that I did not think her sufficiently disinterested to enter into your life as she has done. I 232 A LIVING LIE said to myself “ IIe has no money, so there is no danger.”” “Then,’ clied René, who had scarcely been able to contain himself whilst Claude was speaking of Suzanne in such terms, “do you believe this vile thing that Colette has told me of Madame Moraines and Baron Desforges P’ “Whether I believe it?’ replied Lalcher, gazing at his fliend in astonishment. ‘Am I the man to invent such a story about a woman P’ “When you have paid a woman attentions,’ said the poet, uttering his words very slowly, and in a tone of deepest contempt, “attentions which she has repulsed, the least you can do is to 1 espect her.’ “I l’ cried Claude, “Il I have paid Madame Moraines attentions 2 I understand—this is what she has told you.’ He broke into a nervous laugh. “When we put such things into our plays these harlots accuse us of libelling them. Of libelling them As if such a thing were possible ! They are all the same. And you believed her | You believed me, Claude Lalcher, to be Such a villain as to dishonour an honest woman in order to avenge my wounded pride P Look me well in the face, René. Do I look like a hypocrite P Have you ever known me to act as one P. Have I proved my affection for you ? Well—I give you my word of honour that this woman has lied to you, like Colette. The hussles | And there was I dying of grief, without a wold of pity, because this woman, who is worse than a prostitute, had accused me of this dirty thing. Yes— worse than a prostitute | They sell themselves for bread—and she, for what? For a little of the wretched luxury that parvenus indulge in.” ‘Hold you tongue, Claude, hold your tongue !’ cried René, in terrible accents. “You are killing me.” A storm of feelings, irresistible in its fury, had suddenly burst forth within him. He could not doubt his friend's sincerity, and this, added to the assurance with which PROOFS 233 Claude had spoken of Desfolges, ſorced upon the w1etched lover a conviction of Suzanne's duplicity too painful to endure. He could rest1ain himself no longer, and, rushing upon histormentor, seized him by the lapels of his coat and shook him so violently that the material gave way. “When you tell a man such things about the woman he loves you must give him proofs—you understand— proofs l’ ‘You are mad ' ' replied Claude, disengaging himself from his grasp ; ‘proofs l—why, all Paris will give you them, my poor boy! Not one person, but ten, twenty, thirty, will tell you that seven years ago the Moraines were ruined. Who got the husband into the Insurance Company P Desforges. He is a director of that company, as he is also a director in the Compagnie du Nord, and a deputy and an ex-Councillor of State, and Heaven knows what besides | He is a big man, this Desforges, although he doesn't look it, and one who can indulge in all kinds of luxuries. Whom do you always find in the Rue Mulillo P Desforges. Whom do you meet with Madame Molaines at the theatre P Desforges. And do you think the fellow is a man to play at Platonic love with this pretty woman married to hel ninny of a husband P Such nonsense is all very well for you and me, but not for a Desforges Wherever are your eyes and ears when you go to see her ?’ ‘I have only been to her house three times,’ said René. ‘Only three times 2' 1epeated Claude, looking at his friend. Emilie's plaintive confidences on the pre- ceding evening had left him no doubt concerning the 1elations between Suzanne and the poet. René's im- prudent exclamation, however, opened his eyes to the peculiar chal acter these 1elations must have assumed. ‘I don't want to know anything,” he went on ; “it is an understood thing that honour forbids us to talk of such women, just as if real honour did not call upon us to 234. A LIVING LIE denounce their infamy to the whole world. So many fresh victims would then be spared Proofs You want ploofs. Collect them for yourself. I know only two ways of getting at a woman's Secrets—by opening her letters or having her watched. Madame Moraines never wiites—you may be sule of that. Put some one on her track.’ ‘You are advising me to commit an ignoble action l’ cried the poet. “Nothing is noble or ignoble in love,' replied Larcher. ‘I have myself done what I advise you to do. Yes, I have set detectives to watch Colette. A connection with one of these hussies means war to the knife, and you are scrupulous about the choice of your weapon.’ ‘No, no,' replied René, shaking his head ; “I cannot.’ ‘Then follow her yourself!' continued the relentless logician. “I know my Desforges. He's a character, don't you make any mistake. I made a study of him once, when I was still fool enough to believe that observation led to talent. This man is an astonishing compound of order and disorder, of libertinism and hygiene. Their meetings are no doubt regulated, like all else 1n his life, once a week, at the same hour, not in the morning, which would intel fele with his exercise, not too late in the afternoon, which would interfere with his visits and his game of bezique at the club. Watch her. Before a week is ovel you will know the truth. I wish I could say that I had any doubt concerning the result of the experiment. And it is I, my poor boy, who led you into this mile ! You were so happy here until I took you by the hand and introduced you to that wicked world where you met this monster. If it hadn't been she it would have been another. I seem to bring misfortune on all those I love. But tell me you forgive me! I have such need of your fiendship. Come, don't say no l’ Then, as Claude held out his hands, René grasped them fervently, and sinking down into a chair—the PRO OFS 235 same in which Suzanne had sat—he burst into tears and exclaimed, “My God, what suffering this is l’ Claude had given his friend a week. Before the end of the fourth day René called at the Sainte-Euveite mansion in a state of Such agitation that Ferdinand could not 1epress an exclamation as he opened the dool. ‘My poor Monsieur Vincy,” said the worthy man, “are you going to kill you self with work like master 2' Claude was seated at his writing-table in the famous ‘torture-chamber, Smoking as he worked, but, on seeing René, he threw down his cigarette, and a look of intense anxiety came into his face as he cried, “Mon Dzelt J What has happened P’ ‘You were right,’ 1eplied the poet, in a choking voice, ‘she is the vilest of women.’ ‘Except one,' remarked Claude bitterly, and, parody- ing Chamfort's celebrated phrase, added, ‘Colette must not be discouraged. But what have you done?’ ‘What you advised me to do, 1eplied René, in accents of peculiar asperity, ‘and I have come to beg your pardon for having doubted your word. Yes—I have played the spy upon hel. What a feeling it is The first day, the second day, the third day—nothing. She only paid visits and went shopping, but Desforges came to the Rue Murillo every day. I was 1n a cab stationed at the corner of the street, and when I saw him enter the house I suffered agonies of torture. At last, to-day, about two o'clock, she goes out in her brougham. I follow her in my cab. Aftel stopping at two or three places, her Calriage draws up in front of Galignani's, the booksellet's, undel the colonnade in the Rue de Rivoli, and she gets out. I see hel speak to the coachman, and the brougham goes off without her. She walks for a short distance under the Colonnade, and I see that she is wealing a thick veil. How well I know that veill My heart beat fast and my blain was in a whirl. I felt that I was nearing a decisive moment. 236 A LIVING LIE She then disappeals through an at Chway, but I follow hel closely and find myself in a courtyard with an open- ing at the othel end, affolding egress into the Rue du Mont-Thabor. I look up and down the latter street. No one. She could not have had time to get out of sight. I decide to wait and watch the back entrance. If she had an appointment there she would not go out the same way she came in. I waited for an hour and a quarter in a wine-shop just opposite. At the end of that time she reappeared, still wearing her thick veil. The dress, the walk, and the veil—I know them all too well to be mistaken. She had come out by the Rue du Mont-Thabor. Her accomplice would therefore leave by the Rue de Rivoli. I rush through to that side. After a quarter of an hour a door opens and I find myself face to face with—can you guess? Desforges | At last I have them—the proofs W1etch that she is l’ “Not at all ! Not at all !’ replied Claude ; ‘she is a woman, and they're all alike. May I confide in you in return—that is, make an exchange of horlors P You know how Colette treated me when I begged for a little pity P The other night I flogged her till she was black and blue, and this is what she writes me. Read it’ And he handed his friend a letter that was lying open on the table. René took it and read the following lines: * 2 A.M. ‘I have waited for you till now, love, but you haven't come. I shall wait for you at home all day to-day, and to-night aftel I come from the theatre. I only act in the first piece, and I shall make haste to get back. Come for the sake of our old love. Think of my lips. Think of my golden hair. Think of our kisses. Think of her who adores you, who is wretched at having given you pain, and who wants you, as She loves you—madly. ‘Youl Own COLETTE.’ ‘That's something like a love letter, isn't it?’ said Larcher with a kind of Savage joy. “It’s more cruel PROOFS 237 than all the rest to have a woman love you like that because you've beaten her to a jelly. But I’ll have no more to do with them—neither with her nor anyone else. I hate love now, and I’m going to cut out my heart. Follow my example.’ ‘If I could !’ replied René, “but it's impossible. You don't know what that woman was to me.' And again yielding to the passion that raged within him, he wrung his hands and broke into a fit of convulsive sobs. ‘You don’t know how I loved her, how I believed in her, and what I’ve given up for her. And then to think of her in the arms of this Desforges—1t's horrible !’ A shudder of disgust ran thi ough him. “If she had chosen another man, a man of whom I could think with hatred or rage—but without this feeling of horror | Why, I can't even feel jealous of him. For money ! For money !’ He rose and caught hold of Claude's arm frantically. ‘You told me that he was a director of the Compagnie du Nord. Do you know what she wanted to do the other day P To give me a few good tips in shares. I, too, would have been kept by the Baron. It's only natural, 1sn't it, that the old man should pay them all— the wife, the husband, and the lover ? Oh! if I only could ! She is going to the Opera to-night—what if I went theie P What if I took her by the hair and spat in hel face, before all the people who know her, telling them all that she is a low, filthy harlot P’ He fell back into his chair, once more bursting into tearS. “She occupied my thoughts every hour, every moment of the day. You had told me to be on my guard against women, it is tiue. But then you were beguiled by a Colette, an actless, a cleatue who had had other lovers before you—whilst she Every line in her face sweals to me that it is impossible—that I have been dreaming. It is as if I had seen an angel lie. And yet I have the ploof, the undeniable proof. Why did I not confront hel there in the street, on the threshold of 238 A LIVING LIE that vile place 2 I should have strangled her with my hands, like Some beast. Claude, my dear fellow, how I wronged you ! And the other I have crushed and trodden under foot the noblest heart that beat in order to get to this monster. It is but just—I have deserved it all. But what can there be in Nature to produce such beings?’ For a long, long time these confused lamentations continued. Claude listened to them in silence, his head resting on his hand. He too had suffered, and he knew what consolation it gives to tell one's Soi 10w. He pitied the pool youth who sat there sobbing as if his heart would break, and the clear-sighted analyst within him could not help observing the difference between the poet's grief and that which he himself had so often felt under similar circumstances. He never remembered having suffered this torture, even when hard hit, without p1obing his wounds, whilst René was the picture of a young and sincere creature who has no 1jea of studying his teals in a milror. These Strange 1eflections upon the diversity of men's souls did not prevent him from sympathising most deeply with his friend, and there was a note of true feeling in his voice when he at last took advantage of a break in René's lament to speak. ‘It is as our dear Heine said—Love is the hidden disease of the heart. You ale now at the period of inception. Will you take the advice of a veteran suffeler P Pack up your traps and put miles upon miles between you and this Suzanne. A pretty name and a well-chosen One ! A Suzanne who makes money out of the elders At you! age you will be quickly cured. I am quite cured myself. Not that I know how and when it happened—1n fact, it amazes me ! But for the past three days I have been rid of my love for Colette. Meanwhile, I'm not going to leave you alone ; come and dine with me. We shall drink hard and be merry, and so avenge ourselves upon our troubles.’ PROOFS 239 After his fit of passion had spent itself René had fallen into that state of mental coma which succeeds great outbursts of grief. He suffered himself to be led, like one in a trance, along the Rue du Bac, then along the Rue de Sèvres and the boulevard as far as the Restaurant Lavenue at the corner of the Gare Montparnasse, long frequented by many well-known painters and sculptors of our day. Claude led the way to a cabinet particulaer, in which he pointed out to René Colette's name, Scratched on One of the mirrors amidst scoles of others. Rubbing his hands, he ex- claimed : ‘We must treat our past with ridicule,’ and ordered a very elaborate meal with two bottles of the oldest Corton. During the whole of the dinner he did not cease to propound his theories on women, whilst his companion hardly ate, but sat lost in mental con- templation of the divine face in which he had so fully believed. Was it possible that he was not dreaming, and that Suzanne was really one of those of whom Claude was speaking in terms of Such contempt 2 ‘Above all,” said Larcher, “take no revenge. Re- venge in love is like drinking alcohol aftel burning punch. We become attached to women as much by the harm we do them as by that which they do us. Imitate me, not as I used to be, but as I am now, eating, drinking, and caring as much for Colette as Colette cares for me. Absence and silence—these are the sword and buckler in this battle. Colette writes to me, and I don't answer. She comes to the Rue de Varenne. No admission. Where am I ? What am I doing? She cannot get to know. That makes them maddel than all the rest. Here's a suggestion : To-morrow morning you stalt for Italy, or England, or Holland, whichevel you plefer. Meanwhile Suzanne thinks you are piously meditating upon all the lies she has told you, but in reality you are comfortably seated in your compartment watching the telegraph poles Scud past and saying to yourself, “We are on even terms now, my 24O A LIVING LIE angel.” Then in three, four, or five days' time the angel begins to get uneasy. She sends a servant with a note to the Rue Coetlogon. The servant comes back:- “Monsieur Vincy is travelling !” “Travelling 2 ” The days roll on and Monsieur Vincy does not return, neither does he write—he is happy elsewhere. How I should like to be there to see the Baron's face when she vents her fury upon him. For these equitable creatures in- variably make the one who stays behind pay for the one who has gone. But what's the matter with you?” “Nothing,' said René, though Claude's mention of Desforges had caused him a fresh fit of pain. “I think you are right, and I shall leave Paris to-morrow without seeing her.’ It was on that understanding that the two fliends separated. Claude had insisted on escolting René back to the Rue Coetlogon, and, as he shook hands with him at the gate, said, ‘I will send Perdinand to- morrow morning to inquire what time you start. The sooner the better, and without Seeing hel, mind—re- member that ' ' ‘You need not be afraid,' replied René. “Poor fellow !' muttered Claude, as he returned along the Rue d’Assas. Instead of going towards his own home he walked slowly in the d11ection of the cab rank by the old Couvent des Carmes, turning round once on twice to see whether his companion had 1eally disappeared. Then he stopped for a few minutes and secmed to hesitate. His eyes fell upon the clock near the cab lank, and he saw that it was a qual tel-past ten. ‘The piece began at half-past eight, he said to him- self, ‘and she's just had time to change. I should be an ass to miss such a chance. Cocher '' he cried, waking up the man whose hoise seemed to have most speed in him, ‘Rue de Rivoli, cornel of Jeanne d'Arc's statue, and drive quickly.' The cab started off and passed the top of the Rue Coetlogon. ‘He is weeping now,” said Claude to him- PROOFS 24. I self; ‘what would he say if he saw me going to Colette's P’ He little thought that as soon as he had entered the house René had told his sister to get out his dress suit. Astonished at such a request, Emilie ventured upon an interrogation, but was met with, ‘I have no time to talk,” uttered in such harsh tones that she dared not insist. It was Friday, and René, as he had told Claude, knew that Suzanne was at the Opera. He had calculated that this was her week Why had the idea that he must see her again and at once taken such a firm hold upon him that, 1n his 1mpatience to be off, he quite upset both his sister and Françoise P Was he about to put his threat into practice and insult his faithless mistress in public 2 Or did he only wish to feast his eyes once more on her deceptive beauty before his departure ? On the occasion of his visit to the Gymnase a week ago, after his intel- view with Colette, his aim had been clear and definite. It was the outward similal 1ty of that visit with the step he was now taking that made him feel more keenly what a change had come ovel him and his surroundings in such a short space of time. How hopefully had he then betaken himself to the theatre, and now in what mood of despair | Why was he going at all P He asked himself this question as he ascended the gland staircase, but he felt himself impelled by some foice superior to all reason or effort of will. Since he had seen Suzanne leave the house in the Rue du Mont- Thaboi he had acted like an automaton He took his seat in the stalls just as the ballet scene fiom “Faust’ was diawing to a close. The first effect ploduced by the music on his overstrung nerves was a feeling of almost morbid sadness; tears stalted to his eyes and dimmed his vision as he turned his opera-glasses upon Suzanne's box—that box in which she had looked so divinely modest and pretty on the morrow of Madame Komof's soirée, though not more so than she did now. To-night she was in blue, with a row of pealls round R 242 A LIVING LIE her fair throat and diamonds in her golden hair. Another woman, whom René had never seen, was seated beside her ; she was a blunette, dressed in white, and wore a number of jewels. There were three men behind them. One was unknown to the poet, the other two were Molaines and Desforges. The unhappy lover gazed upon the trio before him—the woman sold to this aged libertine, and the husband who profited by the bargain. At least, René believed that it was so. This picture of infamy changed his feelings of sadness into fury. All combined to madden him—indignation at finding such ideal grace in Suzanne's face when but that afternoon she had hurried home fiom hel disgusting amours, physical jealousy wrought to its highest pitch by the presence of the mole fortunate rival, lastly a kind of helpless humiliation at beholding this perfidious mistress happy and admited, in all the glamour of her queenly beauty, whilst he, her victim, was almost dying of grief and unavenged. By the time that the ballet was over René had lashed himself into that state of fully which in every day language is expressively styled a cool rage At such moments, by a contrast similar to that observed in certain stages of madness, the frenzy of the soul is accompanied by complete control of the neives. The individual may come and go, laugh and talk ; he preserves a perfectly calm extel lor, and yet inside him there is a whillwind of murderous ideas. The most unheard-of proceedings then seem quite natural as well as the most pronounced cruelties. The poet had been struck with a sudden idea—to go into Madame Molalnes' box and express to her his contempt How 2 That did not trouble him much. All he knew was that he must ease his mind, whatever the result might be. As he made his way along the corridor, just then filled with the gilded youth of Paris, he was so beside himself that he came into collision with Several people, but strode on unheed- ingly and without proffering a wold of excuse. On PROOFS 243 reaching the ouvreuse, he asked her to show him the sixth box from the stage on the right. ‘The box belonging to Monsieur le Baron Desforges?’ said the woman. ‘Quite right, replied René. ‘He pays for the theatre, too,” he thought; ‘that's only as it should be.’ The door was opened, and in a trice he had passed through the small ante-room that leads to the box itself Moraines turned round and smiled at him in his frank and simple way. The next moment he was shaking hands with René in English fashion and saying, “How d'you do?’ as though they were accustomed to meet every day. Then, tuining to his wife, who had witnessed René's entrance without betraying the slightest surprise, he said, ‘My dailing, this is Monsieur Vincy.’ ‘I haven't forgotten Monsieur Vincy, replied Su- zanne, receiving her visitol with a graceful inclination of her head, ‘although he seems to have forgotten me' The perfect ease with which she uttered this phrase, the Smile that accompanied it, the painful necessity of shaking hands with this husband whom he regarded as an accessory to his wife's guilt, and of bowing to Balon Desforges as well as to the other persons plesent in the box—all these details were so strangely out of keeping with the fever consuming the poet that for a few moments he was quite taken aback. Such is life in the world of fashion. Tragedies are played in silence, and amidst an interchange of false compliments, an assumption of meaningless manners, and an empty show of pleasure. Moraines had offered René a seat behind Suzanne, and she sat talking to him about his musical tastes with as much apparent indifference as if this visit were not of terrible significance for her. Desforges and Moraines were talking with the other lady, and René could hear them making remarks concerning the composition of the audienee. He was not accustomed to impose upon himself that self-con- R 2 244. A LIVING LIE trol which permits women of fashion to talk of dress or music whilst their hearts are being torn with anxiety. He stammered forth replies to Suzanne's words without the least idea of what he was saying. As she bent slightly forward he inhaled the heliotrope perfume she generally used. It awakened tender memories within him, and at last he dared to look at her. He saw her mobile lips, her fair, rose-like complexion, her blue eyes, her golden hair, her snow-white neck and shoulders over which his lips had often strayed. In his eyes there was a kind of savage delirium that almost flightened Madame Moraines. His bare coming had told her that something extraordinaly was taking place, but she was under the watchful eye of Desforges, and she could not afford to make a single mistake. On the other hand, the least impludence on René's part might 1uin hel. Her whole life depended upon a word or gestule of the young poet, and she knew how easily such wold or gestule might escape him She took up her fan and the lacc handkerchief she had laid on the ledge of the box, and 1 ose. ‘It is too warm hele, she said, passing her hand ovel hel eyes and addressing René, who had 11Sen at the same time. ‘Will you come into the ante-room P. It will be cooler there.” As soon as they were both seated on the sofa she said aloud, ‘Is it long since you last saw our friend Madame Komof P’ Then, 1n an undertone, ‘What is the matter, love? What does this mean P’ ‘It means,' replied René, in a suppressed voice, ‘that I know all, and that I am come to tell you what I think of you. You need not trouble to answer. I lznow all, I tell you—I know at what time you went into the house in the Rue du Mont-Thabor, at what time you left it, and whom you met there. Don't lie; I was there—I saw you. This is the last time I shall ever speak to you, but you understand—you are a wretch, a miserable wretch l’ PROOFS 245 Suzanne was fanning herself whilst he flung these terrible phrases at her. The emotions they aroused did not prevent her from perceiving that this scene with her enraged lover, who was evidently beside himself, must be cut short at any price. Bending fol- ward, she called her husband from the box. * “Paul, she said, “have the carriage called. I don't know whether it's the heat in the house, but I feel quite faint. You will excuse me, Monsieur Vincy P “It's strange,’ said Moraines to the poet, who was obliged to leave the box with the husband, “she had been so bright all the evening. But these theatres are very badly ventilated. I am sure she is sorry at being unable to talk to you, for she 1s such an admirer of your talent. Come and see us soon—good-bye!’ And with his usual energy he again shook hands with René, who saw him disappear towards that part of the vestibule where the footmen stand in waiting. The orchestra was just attacking the first bars of the fifth act of “Faust.” A fresh fit of rage seized the poet, and found vent in the wolds which he almost shouted in the now deserted cor Idol : ‘I will be 1 evenged l’ CHAPTER XVIII THE II APIPIEST OF TIIE FOUR SUZANNE knew the Balon's cagle eye too well to imagine that the scene in the box had entirely escaped him. How much had he seen P What did he think? These two questions were of capital importance to her. It was impossible to formulate any reply to them during the few minutes occupied—she leaning on his arm and he supporting her as though he leally believed her to be ill—in passing fiom the box to the entrance reserved fol carriages. The Baron's face remained 1mpenetrable 246 A LIVING LIE and she herself felt unable to exercise her usual faculties of observation. René's sudden onslaught had inspired her with such terror and pain that her indisposition had been a sham only to a certain extent. She had been afraid that the poet, evidently beside himself, might cleate a scene and 1uin her for ever. At the same time her since1e and deep-rooted passion had 1eceived a severe blow in this tel rible insult and still more terrible discovery. As she lifted up the train of her diess and descended the steps in her blue satin shoes she shud- dered as we sometimes do when we escape from a danger which we have had the coul age to brave. A faint Smile hoveled upon hel quivering lips, but her face was ashy pale, and it was a real relief to her when she sat down 1n the corner of her carriage with her husband by her side. Before him, at least, there was no necessity to control herself. As the horses stalted she bent folwald to bow hel adieux. A gas-lamp shed 16s light full upon the Balon's face, which now betrayed his real thoughts. Suzanne read them in a Second. ‘He knows all, she thought. “What is to be done 2' For a few moments after the cal riage had gone Desforges still stood theſe twirling his moustache—with him a sign of extraordinal y preoccupation. It being a fine night, he had not ordered his blougham. It was his custom, when the weathel was dry, to walk to his favourite club in the Rue Boissy-d'Anglas from any place in which he had been spending the evening—even 1f such place was some small theatre situated at the other end of the boulevalds. Whilst smoking his third cigar—Doctor Noilot only allowed him three a day— he loved to stroll through the streets of that Paris which he justly prided himself upon knowing and enjoying as well as anyone. Desforges was no cosmopolitan, and had a horror of travelling, which he called ‘a life of luggage.’ This promenade in the evening was his delight. He utilised it for “making up his balance'— THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 2.47 that was his expression—for going over the different events of the day, placing his receipts in one column and his expenses in another. ‘Massage, fencing, and morning ride, were put down in the column of receipts to the credit of his health. ‘Drinking burgundy or port'—his pet sin—‘or eating truffles or seeing Suzanne' went into the column of expenditure. When he had indulged in some trifling excess that contravened his well-regulated lines of conduct he would carefully weigh the plos and cons, and conclude by pronouncing with the solemnity of a judge whether ‘it was worth it’ or ‘not worth it.’ This Paris, too, in which he had dwelt since his earliest youth, always awakened in him memories of the past. His cynicism went hand in hand with cunning, and he practised only the Epiculeanism of the senses. He was a master in the art of enjoying happy hours long after they had passed. In such a house, for instance, he had had appointments with a charming mistress; anothel 1ecalled to his mind exquisite dinnels in good company. “We Ought to make ourselves four stomachs, like oxen, to ruminate,’ he used to say; ‘that is their only good point, and I have taken it from them.’ But when the Molaines had driven away in their brougham on this mild and balmy May evening he began his walk, a prey to most sad and bitter impres- sions, although the day had been a particularly pleasant one until René Vincy's ently in the box. Suzanne had not been mistaken. He knew all. The poet's visit had struck him all the more forcibly since, that very after- noon, on leaving the house in the Rue de Rivoli, he had found himself face to face with the young man, who stared hard at him. “Where the deuce have I seen that fellow before ?' he had asked himself in vain. “Where could my senses have been P’ he said, when Paul Moraines mentioned René's name to Suzanne. The ex- pression on the visitor's face had immediately aroused 248 A LIVING LIE his suspicions; when Suzanne went into the ante-room he had placed himself so as to follow the interview from the corner of his eye. Without hearing what the poet said, he had guessed by the look in his eyes, the frown on his brow, and the gestures of his hands that he was taking Suzanne to task The feigned indis- position of the latter had not deceived him for a single moment. He was one of those who only believe in women's headaches when there is nothing to be gained by them. The manner in which his mistress's hand trembled on his arm as they descended the staircase had strengthened his convictions, and now, as he crossed the Place de l'Opéra, he told himself the most mortifying truths instead of going into his usual raptures before the vast perspective of the avenue, but lately lighted by electricity, or before the façade of the Opera, which he declared to be finer than Notre Dame.] ‘I have been let in,’ he said, ‘and at my age, too ! It's rather too bad—and for whom 2'. All combined to render his humiliation more complete—the absolute secresy with which Suzanne had deceived him, and without arousing the slightest Suspicion ; the startling suddenness of the discovery ; lastly, the quality of his 11val, a bit of a boy, a scribbling poet ! A score of details, one more exasperating than the othel, crowded 1n upon him The forlorn and bashful look on the poet's face when he had seen him on the day after Madame Komofºs soirée ; Suzanne's 1nexplicable fits of abstraction, which he had scarcely noticed at the time and her allusions to matutinal visits to the dentist's, the Louvre, or the Bon Marché. And he had swallowed 1t all—he, Baron Desforges ‘I have been an ass!” he repeated aloud. “But how did she manage it?’ It was this that completely floored him ; he could not understand how she had gone about it, even when René's attitude in the box left him no doubt as to their relations. No, theie was no possibility of doubt. THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 249 Had Suzanne not been his mistress he would never have dared to speak to her as he did, nor would she have allowed it. “But how P’ he asked himself; ‘she never received him at home, or I should have known it through Paul. She did not see him out ; he goes nowhere.” Once more he repeated, ‘I have been an ass!” and felt really angry with the woman who was the cause of his pertubation. He had just passed the Café de la Paix and had to brush aside two women who accosted him in their usual shameless manner. ‘Bah!” he exclaimed; “they are all alike.’ He walked on for a few paces and saw that he had let his cigar go out. He threw 1t away with a gesture of impatience. ‘And cigals ale like women.” Then he shrugged his shoulders as it occurred to him how childishly he was behaving. ‘Frédélic, my dear fellow, whispered an inner voice, ‘you have been an ass, and you are con- tinuing the rôle.’ He took a fresh cigar from his case, held it to his ear as he cracked it, and went into a cigar- shop for a light. The havana proved to be delicious, and the Baron, a connoisseur, thoroughly enjoyed it “I was wrong,' he thought ; “hele is one that is not a fraud.’ The soothing effect of the cigal changed the tenoul of his ideas. He looked about him and saw that he had almost reached the end of the boulevard. The pavement was as crowded as at midday, and the cari lages and cabs went hulrying by. The gas-lamps glinted upon the young foliage of the tlecs 1n a fantastic manner, and on the right the dark mass of the Madeleine stood out against the dark blue sky studded with stars. This Parisian picture pleased the Baron, who continued his reflections in a calmer flame of mind. ‘Hang it all !’ he cried ; “can it be that I am jealous P’ As a rule he shook his head whenever he was treated to an example of that mournful passion, and would generally reply, “They pay your mistress attentions ! But that is 25O A LIVING LIE merely a compliment to your good taste.’ ‘I, jealous! Well, that would be good l’ When we have accustomed ourselves to play a certain part in the eyes of the world for years together we continue to play it even when alone. Desforges was ashamed of his weakness—like an officer who, sent out on a night expedition, blushes to find himself afraid and 1efuses to admit the presence of that feeling. ‘It is not true,' he said to himself; ‘I am not jealous.’ He con- jured up a vision of Suzanne in René's arms, and it tickled his vanity to feel that the picture, though not a pleasant one, did not cause him one of those fits of 1ntense pain that constitute jealousy. By way of contrast, he recalled the poet's entry in the box, his agitated manner, and the unconquerable frenzy that betrayed itself in every lineament. There you had a really jealous man, ex- posed to the full fury of that terrible mania The antithesis between the relative calm he felt within him and his rival's despair was so flattering to the Baron's vanity that for a moment he was absolutely happy. He caught himself making use of his customary expression, one he had inherited from his father, a clevel speculator, who had again had it from his mother, a fine Normandy woman who had linked her fortunes with those of the first Baron Desforges, a Prefect under the grand empereur, ‘Gumption | Why should I be jealous 2 In what has Suzanne deceived me * Did I expect her to love me with a love such as this fool of a poet no doubt dieamt of? What could a man of more than fifty ask of her? To be kind and amiable 2 That she has been. To afford me an opportunity of spending my evenings agreeably P She has done so. Well, what then 2 She has met a strapping youth, a bit wild, with a fresh-looking complexion, and a fine pair of lips. As she couldn't very well ask me to get him for her, she has indulged in a little luxury on her own account. But, of the two of us, I should say that he is the cuckold !’ This reflection, so purely Gallic in form, occurred to THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 251 him just as he reached the door of his club. The plain language in which it had found expression relieved him for a moment. ‘That's all very well, he thought; ‘but what would Crucé say?’ The adioit collector had once sold him a worthless daub at an exolbitant figule, and Desforges had ever since entertained for him that mixture of respect and resentment felt by very clever men for those who have duped them well. He drew a picture of the small club-room and the cunning Crucé relating Suzanne's adventure with René to two or three of his most envious colleagues. The idea was so hateful to the Baron that it stopped him from entering the club, and he walked away in the direction of the Champs Elysées trying to shake off 1s influence. ‘Bahl Neithel Clucé nor the othels will know anything of 1t. It's lucky after all that she didn't hit upon any of these men about town.” He threw a glance at the club windows that looked out upon the Place de la Concorde, and which were all lit up. “Instead of that she has taken some one who is not in Society, whom I never meet, and whom she has neither patronised nor presented. I must do her the justice to admit that she has been very considerate. Her trepidation, too, just now, was entirely on my account. Poor little woman l’ “Poor little woman l’ he repeated, continuing his soliloquy under the trees of the avenue. ‘This beast is capable of making her repent her capı 1ce most bitterly. He seemed in a pretty rage to-night! What want of taste and manners In my box, too ! What irony If this good Paul were not the husband I have made him, she would be a ruined woman. And then he has discovered the secret of our meetings, and we shall have to leave the Rue du Mont-Thabor. No—the fellow is impossible !” This was one of his favourite expressions. A fresh fit of ill humour had seized him, this time directed against the poet, but, as he prided himself upon being a man of Sense and upon his cleal-sightedness, he suppressed it at once, ‘Am I going to be angry with 252 A LIVING LIE him for being jealous of me? That would be the height of folly! Let me rather think upon what he is likely to do. Blackmail No. He is too young for that. An article in some paper? A poet with pretensions to sentiment—that won’t be in his line. I wonder whether his indignation will lead him to cast her off altogether ? That seems too good to be true. A young scribbler, as poor as a church mouse, shall give up a beautiful and loving mistress, surrounded by all the refinements of luxury, who costs him nothing ! Get out ! But what if he asks her to break with me, and she is foolish enough to yield 2' He saw at once and clearly what disturbance such a rupture would create in his life. ‘Firstly, there would be the loss of Suzanne, and where should I find another so charming, so sprightly, so accustomed to my ways and habits 2 Then, again, I should have to find something to do in the evenings, to say nothing of the fact that I have no better friend in Paris than this excellent Paul.” To remove his fears concerning these contingencies he was obliged to recapitulate the bonds of 1nterest that made him indispensable to the Moraines. ‘No,' he concluded, as he 1 eached the door of his mansion in the Couls-la- Reine, “he will not let hel go, she will not give me up, and everything will come right. Everything always comes right 1n the end.” This assurance and philosophy were probably not so sincere as the Balon's vanity—his only weakness—would have him believe, and for the first time in his life he got Out of patience with his valet, a pupil of his who for years had helped him to undress. Though he was still anxious about the future, and more inwardly upset than he caled to admit, this easy-going egoist nevertheless slept right off for seven houls, according to his wont. Thanks to a life of moderate and continual activity, to a careful system of diet, to absolute regularity in rising and retiring, and, above all, to the cale he took to rid his brain at midnight of all troublesome thoughts, he had THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 253 acquired such a fixed habit of diopping off to sleep at the same hour that nothing less than the announcement of another Commune—the most terrible calamity he could think of—would have kept him awake. On opening his eyes in the morning, his mind refreshed by his recuperative slumbers, all irritation was so completely dispelled that he recalled the events of the preceding night with a smile. ‘I am sure that he has not done as much, he said to himself, thinking of the sleepless hours that René must have spent, ‘nor Suzanne either’—she had been so agitated—‘nor Moraines.’ An indisposition of his wife's always turned that poor fellow upside down. “What a fine title for a play—“The happiest of the four !” I must take credit fol 1ts invention.’ His joke pleased him immensely, and when Doctor Noirot, during the process of massage, had said to him, ‘Monsieur le Baton's muscles are 1n excellent condition this moining ; they are as healthy, Supple, and firm as those of a man of thiſ ty,' the scnsation of well-being abolished the last traces of his ill humour. He had now but one idea—how to plevent last night's scene from bringing any change into his comfortable existence, so well adapted to his dear person. He thought of 16 as he d1 ank his chocolate, a kind of light and fragiant froth which his valet plepared according to the precepts of a master of the culinary art. He thought of it as he galloped through the BoIS on this bright spring morning. He thought of 1ſ as he sat down to luncheon about half-past twelve opposite the old aunt whose duties consisted of looking after the linen, the silver, and the servants' accounts, until such time as she should be called upon to look after him. He decided to adopt the principle of every wise policy, both public and private— to wait ! ‘Better give the young man time to make a fool of himself and slip away of his own accord. I must be very kind, and pretend I have seen nothing.’ Turning this resolve over in his mind, he made his 254. A LIVING LIE way on foot to the Rue Murillo about two o'clock. He stopped before the shop window of an art dealer whom he knew very well, and his eyes fell upon a Louis XVI. watch, its chased gold case Set in a wreath of roses and bearing a charming miniature. ‘An excellent means,’ he thought, ‘of proving to her that I am for the statu quo.’ He bought the pretty toy at a reasonable price, and congratulated himself upon its acquisition when, on entering Suzanne's little salon, he saw how anxiously she had awaited his coming. Her careworn look and her pallor told him that she must have spent the night in concocting plans to get Out of the dilemma into which the scene with René had led her, and by the way in which she eyed him the Balon saw that she knew she had not escaped his perspicacity. This compliment was like balm to his wounded vanity, and he felt real pleasule in handing her the case containing the little bauble with the wolds, “How do you like this P’ ‘It is chal ming,' said Suzanne ; ‘the shepherd and shepherdess ale most life-like' ‘Yes,’ replied Desforges ; “they almost look as though they were singing the 10mance of those days: * I gave up all for fickle Sylvia's sake, She leaves me now and takes another Swain . . .” His fine and well-tiained tenor voice had once gained him some success in the drawing-rooms, and he hummed the refrain of the well-known lament with a variation of his own : ‘Love's pangs last but a moment, Love's pleasures last for life . . .” “If you will place this shepherd and shepherdess on a corner of your table, they will be better than with me.” ‘How you spoil me!’ said Suzanne, with some embarrassment. ‘No, replied Desforges, ‘I spoil myself. Am I not your friend before all else?’ Then, kissing her hand, he added in a serious tone that contrasted with his THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 255 usual bantering accents, “And you will never have a better.’ That was all. One word more and he would have compromised his dignity. One word less and Suzanne might have believed him her dupe. She felt deeply grateful for the consideration with which he had treated hel—the mole so since that consideration left her free to devote her mind to René. All her thoughts had been concentrated during hel sleepless night upon this one question—how to manage the one while keeping the other, now that the two men had seen and under- stood each other P B1eak with the Baron P. She had thought of it, but how could it be done P. She saw herself caught in the web of lies which she had spun for her husband this many a year. Their mode of life could not be kept up without the aid of her rich lovel. To break with him was to condemn herself to 1mmedi- ately seek a new relationship of the same kind. On the other hand, to keep Desforges meant bleaking with René. The Baron, she had said to hel self, would never understand that in loving another she was not robbing him of a whit of affection. Do men ever admit such truths P And now he was kind and considerate enough not even to mention whatever he had noticed. Never, even when paying the heaviest bills, had he appeared so generous as at that moment, when, by his attitude, he allowed her to devote herself to the task of winning back hel young lover and the kisses she neither could nor would do without. ‘He is right, she said to hel self when Desforges had gone; “he is my best friend.’ And immediately, with that marvellous facility women possess for indulging in fresh hopes on the slightest provocation, she was ready to believe that mattels would arrange themselves as easily on the other side As she lay at full length on the sofa, her fingers idly toying with the pietty little watch, her thoughts were busied with the poet and with the means she should employ to win him back. She 256 A LIVING LIE must examine the situation carefully and look it full in the face. What did René know P This first point had been already answered by himself; he had seen both her and the Baron come out of the house in the Rue du Mont-Thabor. Now Desforges, from motives of pru- dence, never went out the same way as she did. René must therefore know of the existence of the two exits. Had he seen her leave her carriage and walk as fal as the entrance in the Rue de Rivoli P It was very proba- ble. If chance alone had blought him into contact with her first, and then with the Baron, he could have drawn no conclusions from the double meeting No, he must have watched her and followed her. But what had Induced him to do so? At their last interview at the beginning of the week she had left him so reassured, so full of love and happiness | There was only one thing that could possibly have caused a revival of suspicion so violent as to lead him to watch her movements—-Claude's 1eturn. Once more a feeling of rage against that indi- vidual came ovci her. ‘If It is to him that I owe this fresh alal m, he shall pay ſo it,' she thought. But she soon 1eturned to the real dangel, which, for the moment, was of mole impoſt- ance to hel than her 1 ancour against the imprudent Larchel. The fact remained that in some way or other René had detected the secret of hel meetings with Desforges, and this evidently caused him such intense pain that he had been compelled to fling his discovery at her as soon as it was made. His mad conduct at the Opera was but a proof of love, though it had nearly ruined her, and, instead of her being angry with him for it, she only chelished him the more His passion was a sign of her power ovel him, and she concluded that a lover who loved so madly would not be difficult to win back. Only she must see him, speak to him, and explain her visit to the Rue du Mont-Thabol with her own lips She could say that she had gone to see a sick friend who was also a friend of the Baron's. But what of the THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 257 carriage sent back from Galignani's P She had wanted to walk a little way. But the two entrances? So many houses are built like that. She had had too much experience of René's confiding nature to doubt that she would convince him somehow or other. He had simply been overwhelmed at the moment by proofs that corroborated his suspicions, and was probably already doubtful and pleading with himself the cause of his love. Her reflections had carried her as far as this when her carriage was announced. The desire to get René back had taken such a hold upon her, and she was, moreover, so convinced that her presence would over- come all resistance, that a bold plan Suddenly occurred to her. Why should she not see the poet at once P Why not, now that she had nothing to fear from Des- forges 2 In love quarrels the quickest reconciliations are the best. Would he have the courage to repulse her if she came to him in the little room that had witnessed he first visit, bringing him a fresh and indisputable proof of love P She would say, ‘You have insulted, slandered, and tortured me—yet I could not bear to think you in doubt and pain—and I came !” No sooner had she glasped the possibility of taking this decisive step than she clung to it as if it were a sure way out of the anguish that had tortured her since the preceding evening. She dressed so hurriedly that she quite astonished her maid, and yet she had never looked prettiel than in the light grey gown she had chosen. Without a moment's hesitation, she told her coachman to di ſve to the Rue Coetlogon. To that point had this woman, generally so circumspect and so careful of appeal ances, come. “Just for once l’ she said to hel self as her brougham 1olled along ; ‘I shall get there quicker.' The ideas of worldly prudence had soon made way for others. “I wonder whether René is at home 2 Of course he is. He is waiting for a letter from me, or for some sign of S 258 A LIVING LIE my existence.’ It was almost the same question she had asked herself and the same answer she had given on the occasion of her first visit in March, two months and a half before. By the difference in her feelings she could measure the plogress she had made since that time. Then, she had hastened to the poet's dwelling in obedience to a violent caplice—but still only a caprice. Now, it was love that coulsed through her veins, the love that thirsts for love in return, that sees nought else in the world but the object it desires, and that would unflinch- ingly make for its goal under the cannon's mouth. She loved now with all her body and Soul ; she had proofs of it in her unreasonable impatience to get along still faster and in her fears that the step she had taken might be in vain. Her agitation was intense when the carriage stopped at the gate that barred the entrance to the street. The latter, thanks to the trees whose foliage overtopped the garden wall on the right, looked fresh and green in the soft sunlight of this bright May after- 1100ſ]. She had undoubtedly been less moved on the former occasion when asking the concierge whether M. Vincy was at home. The man told her that he was in She 1ang the bell, and, as before, the Sound of it caused a thrill to run through her fiom head to foot. She heard a door open and light footsteps approaching. Remembeling the heavy tread she had once heard in the same place, she concluded that the person now coming to the door was neither the maid nor René ; the footfall of the latter she knew too well. She had a presentiment that she was about to face her lover's sister—the woman whose absence had favoured her former visit. She had no time to think of the drawbacks of this unexpected incident, for Madame Fresneau had alieady opened the door. Her face left Suzanne no doubt as to her identity, so great was the resemblance between the brother and sister. Neither had Emilie any hesitation in deciding who the visitor was. The sight of René's fresh sufferings THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 259 during the past few days, added to the information she had gleaned flom Claude, had intensified her hatred towards Madame Moraines, and as she replied to Suzanne's question she could not help giving her words a tone of bitter and unconcealed hostility. ‘No, madame, my brother is not in.” Then, her sisterly affection suggesting a way to avoid all further questions as to the time of René's return, she added: ‘He left town this morning.’ The 1eply given her by the concienge told Suzanne that this was a lie, but she had no reason for believing the lie to be an invention of Emilie's. She was obliged to believe, and did believe, that Madame Fresneau was obeying the olders giving her by her brother. She tried to leain nothing ful ther, a graceful inclination of her head in the very best form being the only revenge she took fol the almost rude manners of the bourgeouse. Her outwald calm, however, hid a great deal of dis- appointment and real pain She did not stop to ask herself whether Emilie's strange behaviour was due to René's indiscleet confidences or not. She merely said to herself, ‘He does not wish to see me again,’ and that idea hurt her deeply. On reaching the street she turned to cast a glance at the window of the 100m into which she had once made her way, and remembered how, on that Occasion, she had also looked round on leaving, and had seen the poet standing behind the half-drawn blinds. Would he not take up the same position to see her go when his sister told him who had called 2 She stood waiting for five minutes, and the fact of the blinds remaining down was a source of flesh glief to her. As she got into her blougham she was as agitated as only a woman can be who loves sincerely and who is obliged to be incessantly changing her plans. After turning the matter over again and again, she, who never widte, decided to send the following lettel : S 2 26O A LIVING LIE Saturday, 5 o'clock. ‘DEAR RENE,--I called at your house, and your sister told me you had left town. But I know that is not true. You were there, only a few yards away from me, in that room where every object must have reminded you of my former visit, and yet you would not see me. You can Surely have no doubts of my sincerity on that occasion ? Why should I have acted a lie P I entreat you to let me see you, if it be only for a minute. Come and read in my eyes what you swore never to doubt—that you are my all, my life, my heaven. Since last night I am as one dead. Your horrible words are continually in my ears. It cannot be you who spoke them. Where could you have got that bitterness, almost akin to hatred P. How can you con- demn me unheard on a Suspicion for which you will blush when I have proved to you how false it is P I ought, it is true, to be indignant and angry with you, but my heart, dear René, contains only love for you, and a desire to efface from your Soul all that the enemies of our happiness have engraved there. The step I took this morning, though contrary to all that a woman owes herself, I took so cheerfully that, had you seen me, you could have had no doubt respecting the sentiments that animate me. Send me no answer I feel even as I write how powerless a letter is to describe the feelings of the heart. I shall expect you on Monday at eleven in our sanctuary. It should be my right to tell you I demand to see you theie, for those accused have always the right to defend themselves. I will only say, Come, if you ever loved, even for a day, the woman who has never told you and never will tell you aught but the truth. I sweat it, my only love.’ When Suzanne had finished her letter she read it over. A lingering instinct of prudence made her hesitate before signing it, but the sincerity of her passion caused her to blush for her momentary weakness, and, taking THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 261 up her pen, she wrote her name at the bottom of this faithful description of the strange moral condition into which she had drifted. She lied once more in Swearing that she spoke the truth, and yet nothing was truer, more spontaneous, and less artificial than the feelings which dictated the Sup1eme deception that capped all the rest She summoned her footman, and, again scorn- ing all ideas of prudence, told him to give the letter— any single sentence in which would have ruined her—to a commissionaire for immediate delivery. During the thuty-six hours that separated her from the rendez- vous she had fixed she lived in a state of nel vous ex- citement of which she would never have deemed herself capable. This woman, who had such perfect control over her- self, and who had entered upon this adventure with the same Machiavellan sang froid she had maintained in all her Society relations for years, now felt powerless to follow, or even to form, any kind of plan respecting the attitude to be assumed towards her lover. She was to dine out that night, but she went through the process of dressing in an absolutely listless way—an unusual thing for her—and without even looking in the glass. During the whole of the dinner she found not a word to say to her neighbour, the ubiquitous Crucé, and her brougham had been ordered for ten o'clock on the plea that she was still suffering fi Om her indisposition of the preceding evening. On hel way home she paid not the slightest attention to hel husband's words; his very presence was intolerable to her, for it was on his account, remaining at home as he did on Sundays, that she had been obliged to put off her meeting with René until Monday. Would the poet consent to come P How anxiously, as the servant helped her off with her cloak, did she scan the tray on which were placed the letters that had come by the evening post The poet's writing was not to be seen on any envelope. She spent the whole of Sunday in bed, under pretext of a bad 262 A LIVING LIE headache, but in reality trying to think out some plan in case René refused to believe her story of a sick fiend as an explanation of her visit to the Rue du Mont-Thabor. But he would believe it. She could not admit to her- self that he would not ; the supposition was too painful. Her fever of longing and suspense, of hope and fear, reached its climax on Monday morning as she ascended the stairs of the house in the Rue des Dames. If René were waiting for her, hidden, as usual, behind the half-open door, it would prove that her letter had conquered him, and in that case she was saved. But no—the door was closed Her hand tiembled as she inseited the key in the lock. She entered the first room and found it empty and the blinds drawn. She sat down in the semi-darkness and gazed upon the objects that 1ecalled a happiness SO 1ecent and yet already So far away. There was just the ordinary furniture of a modest drawing-room—a few alm-chairs and a sofa in blue velvet, with anti- macassars carefully hung at the proper height. The handful of books René had brought were ranged in perfect oldel on a well-dusted shelf, and the worthy landlady had even taken care that the gilt clock, with its figure of Penelope, had been kept going. Suzanne listened to the swing of the pendulum as it bloke the silence in the apartment. Seconds passed, then minutes, then quarters, and still René did not come. He would not come now. As this fact dawned upon her Madame Moraines, accustomed from her earliest youth to having all her wishes gratified, was seized with a fit of real despair. She began to weep like a child, and her tears fell faster and faster, unaccompanied now by any thoughts of simulation. She felt a desire to write, but no sooner had she found some paper in the blotting-book left by her lover and dipped the pen in the ink than she pushed the things away, exclaiming, ‘What is the good of it P’ To show that she had been there in case René should come after she was gone she THE HAPPIEST OF THE FOUR 263 left behind her the scented handkerchief with which she had dried her bitter tears. She murmured to herself, “He used to like this scent l’ and by the side of the handkerchief she laid the gloves that he had always buttoned for her as she was going. Then, with a heavy heart, she left the room in which she had been so happy. Could it be possible that those happy hours had gone —and for ever ? CHAPTER XIX A L L OR NOT H IN G THE Fresneau family were at dinner when the commis- sionaire delivered Suzanne's letter. Françoise entered, holding the dainty envelope in her great red hand, and the expression on René's face as he tore it open sufficed to tell Emilie from whom the missive came. She trembled. The sight of her brother's wild despair had emboldened her to 1efuse admission to the unknown visitor whom she had instinctively recognised as its undoubted cause, the dangerous woman Claude Larchel had spoken of as the most wanton Cleatule living. But to face René's anger and tell him what she had done was beyond her strength, and she postponed the unpleasant step from hour to hour. The look her brother gave her after 1eading the letter made her drop her eyes and colour to the roots of her hair. Fresneau, who was calving a fowl with rare ability—he had learnt the art, a strange one for him, at his fathel's table in days gone by—was so struck by the expression on his brother-in- law's face that he sat Staling at him with a wing stuck on the point of his fork. Then, being afraid that his wife had noticed his surprise, he bloke out into a laugh and tried to excuse his momentary abstraction by saying, ‘This knife will cut butter.’ His jocular remaik was followed by a silence that 264 A LIVING LIE lasted until dinner was over—a silence threatening to Emilie, inexplicable to Fresneau, and unperceived by René, who was almost choking and did not eat a mouth- ful. Hardly had Françoise removed the cloth and placed the tobacco bowl and the decanter of brandy on the table when the poet went off to his room, after having asked the maid to light him a lamp. ‘He looks annoyed, doesn't he P’ observed the pro- fessol. ‘Annoyed 2’ replied Emilie. “Some idea ſol his play has probably occurred to him, and he wants to put 1t into writing at once. But it's a bad thing to work immediately after dinner—I’ll go and tell him so.’ Glad to have found some excuse, Emilie went into her brother's room. She found him Sci ibbling a reply to Suzanne's note in the twilight, without even waiting for the lamp. He was no doubt expecting his sister to come in, for he said roughly and in an angry tone, ‘Oh, there you are Some one called to see me to-day, and you said I was out of town P’ “René, said Emilie, joining her hands, “forgive me ; I thought I was doing right. I was afraid of your seeing this woman in your present state.’ Then, finding strength in the ardour of her affection to bare her inmost thoughts, she went on, ‘This woman is your evil genius y ‘It seems,' cried the poet, with suppressed rage, ‘that you still take me for a child of fifteen. Am I at home here—yes or no P 'he shouted, bursting out. ‘If I cannot do as I like, say so, and I’ll go and live elsewhere. I have had enough of this coddling, you understand. Look after your Son and your husband, and let me do as I like.’ He saw his sister standing there before him pale and overcome by the harsh words he had used. He was himself ashamed of his outburst. It was so unjust to make poor Emilie atone for the pain that was gnawing at his heart. But he was not in a mood just then for acknowledging himself in the wrong, and, instead of ALL OR NOTHING 265 taking in his arms the woman he had so cruelly wounded in her most sensitive parts, he left the room, closing the door behind him with a bang. He snatched up his hat in the ante-room, and from the place where he had left her, trembling with agitation, Emilie could hear him leave the house. The worthy Fresneau, who, after listening in amaze- ment to René's excited accents, had also heard the noise of his departure, now entered the room to learn what had happened. He saw his wife standing there 1n the semi-darkness like one dead. Seizing hel hands, he cried, “What's the mattel P’ in such an affectionate tone that she flung her arms round his neck and c11ed out amidst her sobs : “Mom ami—I have no one but you in the world !’ She lay there weeping, with her head on her husband's shoulder, whilst the poor fellow scarcely knew whether to curse or bless his brother-in-law, his despair at his wife's grief and his joy at seeing her fly to him for comfort being equally great. ‘Come, come,’ he said, “don’t be silly. Tell me what has taken place between you.’ “He has no heart, he has no heart,’ was all the answer he could get. ‘Nonsense, nonsense l’ he replied, adding, with that clear-sightedness which true affection brings to the dullest, ‘He knows how much you love him, and he abuses his knowledge—that's all !’ Whilst Fresneau was consoling Emilie as well as he could, though without getting her to divulge the secret of her quarrel with the poet, the lattel was striding along the streets a prey to a fresh attack of that grief which had tortured his soul for the past twenty-four houls. Suzanne had been right in thinking that a voice within him would plead against what he knew—against what he had seen. Who that has loved and been betrayed has not heard that voice which reasons against all 1eason and bids us hope against all hope P Faith has 266 A LIVING LIE gone for ever, but how pleased we should be to find ourselves again at the stage of doubt How regretfully we then recall as some happy period the cruel days when suspicion had not yet grown into hol lible and un- bearable certainty René would have purchased with his blood the shadow of the shadow of a doubt, but the more he dwelt upon all the details that had led to his conviction the more filmly did that conviction take 1 oot in his healt. “But if she had been paying a haſ mless visit 2' hazal ded the voice of love. Harmless P Would she have concealed her destination from her coachman P Would she have gone out by the othel door, thickly veiled, walking straight before her, but looking furtively about her just as she did on leaving him 2 And then the appearance of Desforges almost immediately after at the other entrance . . . All the proofs brought forward by Claude occulled to him one after another— the Society rumous, the 1ecent 1 uin of the Moraines, the post obtained for the husband, the suggestion made to him by Suzanne for purchasing shares, and her lies, now proved to be such. “What mole positive proofs can I have,’ he asked himself, ‘except one P’ And as the terrible vision of Suzanne in the aims of her aged lovel rose up before him he closed his eyes in pain. Then came thoughts of her visit to the Rue Coetlogon and of the lettel he had in his pocket ‘And she dares ask to see me 2 What can she have to say ? I will go, as she asks, and take my 1 evenge by insulting her as Claude insults Colette. . . . No,' he continued, ‘that would be degrading myself to her level; tıue revenge consists in ignoring her. I shall not go.” He waveled between these two decisions, feeling quite powerless to make up his mind, so intense was his longing to see Suzanne once more and so sincere his 1esolution not to be duped again by her lies. His per- plexity became so great that he resolved to go and ask Claude's advice. Now only did he begin to feel some ALL OR NOTHING 267 surprise that this faithful fiend had not sent to inquire about him in the morning, as he had promised to do. “I’ll go and call on him, although he'll probably not be in,’ said René as he bent his steps towards the Rue de Valenne. It was about half-past ten when he rang the ponderous bell of the Sainte-Euverte mansion. There was a light burning in one of the apartments occupied by Claude, who, contrary to René's expecta- tions, was not out. The poet found him in the smoking- room, the filst of the small set at the top of the stairs. A lamp with a pink globe shed a soft light round the apartment, the walls of which were adorned with a large piece of tapestry and a copy of the ‘Triumph of Death ' attributed to Orcagna. In a corner of the room the bluish flame of a spirit lamp was burning under a small tea kettle ; this, with the two cups, a decanter of sherry, and some bouchées au fore gras on a china dish were ploofs that the Occupant of this quiet abode expected a visitor. A bundle of small Russian cigarettes with long mouthpieces—Colette's favourites—plainly 1 evealed to René who that visitor was. He would still have hesi- tated to believe his own eyes had not Claude, in evident embarrassment, said, with a shamefaced smile : “After all, it's as well that you should know it—cani's ſeversus ad vomitum situm. Yes, I am expecting Colette. She is coming here after the theatie. Do you object to meeting her ?’ “Candidly, replied René, “I plefel not to see her’ ‘And how do matters stand with you ?' asked Claude. After the poet had briefly acquainted him with the present position, the scene at the Opera, Suzanne's visit, and her request for a meeting, Laïchel 1ejoined ‘What can I say to you ? Have I the right to advise you, weak as I am myself? But does that really matter P I can see my own follies clearly enough, although I am continually stumbling like a blind man. Why, then, should I not see clearly for you, who have pelhaps more 268 A LIVING LIE energy than I? You ale younger, and have never stumbled yet. . . . It comes to this. Have you resolved to become, like me, an erotic maniac, a madman ruled only by sexual passion, and—worse than all—a wietch sensible of his own degradation ? Then keep this appointment. Suzanne will give you no reasons, not one. Don't you see that if she were innocent the vely sight of you would be hateful to her after what you have said 2 She came to your house. Why? To blind you once more with her beauty. Now she summons you to the very place where you will be least able to resist that beauty. She will say what women always say in these cases. Words—and words—and words again. But you will see hel, you will heal the rustle of her skirts. And, believe me, there is no love-potion so powerful as treachery ! You will feel the truth of this when you stifle her with Savage and brutish embraces— and then, good-bye to reproaches | Everything is forgotten. But what follows P You saw how brave I was yesterday. See what a cowald I am to-day, and say to yourself, like the workman who sees his di unken comrade staggering helplessly along, “That's how I shall be on Sunday !” If, after all, you feel unable to do without her—if you must have her, as the drunkard must have his wine—you will find solace in this cowardice, even though it kill you. That solace I have found. Glut yourself with this woman's love. It will rid you either of your love for her or of your self- respect. You will learn to treat Suzanne exactly as I treat Colette. But remember what I have told you to- night—it is the end of all. Talent I no longer possess. Honour ! What should I do with it, having forgiven what I have forgiven P My poor boy,’ he concluded in tones of entreaty, “you can still save yourself. You are at the top of the ladder that leads down to the sewer—listen to the cry of an unhappy wretch who is up to his neck in filth at the bottom. And now, good- bye, if you don't want to see Colette. Why did she tell ALL OR NOTHING 269 you what she did 2 You knew nothing, and where ignorance is bliss—— Good-bye once more, old man. Think of me and pity me !’ ‘No,' said the poet, as he made his way home, ‘I will not descend to such depths.” For the first time perhaps since witnessing Claude's unhappy passion he really understood the nature of his wretched friend's malady. He had just discovered in himself feelings identical to those which had made such an abject slave of Colette's lover—a mingling of utter contempt and ardent physical longing for a woman justly tried and condemned. Yes, in spite of all he had learnt he still desired Suzanne—still desired those lips kissed by Desforges and all that beauty which the hoary libertine had stained but not destroyed. It was that fair white flesh that troubled his senses now—nought but that flesh . To this had come his noble love, his worship of her whom he had once called his Madonna. Claude was right: if he yielded to this base longing but once, all would be lost. His loathing for the slough of col- ruption in which his friend was helplessly struggling was so intense that it gave him strength to say, ‘I pledge myself not to go to the Rue des Dames on Monday,’ and he knew he would keep his word. Whilst Suzanne was undergoing the tortures of hope and despair in the little blue salon on the appointed morning René too was suffering intensely, but it was in his own room. “I won't go—I won’t go!’ he muttered repeatedly. Then he thought of his friend, and he sighed “Poor Claude l’ as he fully realised the position of the man who had been beaten in the struggle in which he himself was now engaged. He pitied himself whilst pitying Colette's victim, and this pity, as well as his old and long-continued religious habits, aided his courage. For some time now he had refrained from all observances, and had surrendered himself to those doubts which all modern writers entertain more or less before returning to Christianity as the sole source of spilitual life. But 27o A LIVING LIE even during the period of doubt the moral muscle, developed by exercise in childhood and youth, continues to put forth its strength. In his resistance to the most pressing calls of passion, the nephew and pupil of the Abbé Taconet once more found this power at his service. When the last stroke of twelve had died away he said to himself, ‘Suzanne has gone home—I am saved.’ Saved he was not, and his inability to follow Claude's advice to the letter ought to have convinced him of this. Neither on the Monday nor the following days could he summon up sufficient courage to leave the city that contained the woman from whom he now both wished and thought himself freed. He invented all kinds of shallow pretexts for remaining in Paris. “I am as far from her in this room as I should be in Rome or Venice; I shall not go to hel, and she will not come here.” In 1eality, he was expecting—he scarce knew what. He only knew that his passion was too intense to die in this way. A meeting would take place between Suzanne and himself. How or where mattered little, but it would certainly take place He would not confess to this cowaldly and secret hope, but it had taken Such hold upon him that he 1emained a prisoner 1n the Rue Coetlogon in houſly expectation of 1eceiving anothel letter ol of finding himself the object of some last attempt. No letter came, no attempt was made, and his heart glew heavier within him. At times this desile to see Suzanne once more—a desire he felt, but would not admit—drove him to his writing-table, where he would sit and indite page after page of the wildest sentiment to the abandoned cleature. His pent-up rage found vent in the mad lines in which he both insulted and idolised her, and in which terms of endearment mingled with words of hatred. Then Claude's pitcous laments would re-echo in his ears, and he would tear up the paper as he stifled an answering wail that rose within him. He lay down at night with ALL OR NOTHING 271 despair in his heart, thinking of death as the only thing to be desired. He rose, and his thoughts were unchanged The bright days, so glorious in the budding time of Nature, were to him intolerable, and his poetic soul longed for the twilight hour and the darkness that matched so well the black night in his heart. In the gloaming, too, he could find Sweet Solace in tears. It was the hour that his poor sister feared most for him. They had become reconciled on the very next day after their quartel. ‘Are you still angly with me 2' she had asked him, with that gentleness of voice that betokens true affec- tion. ‘No,' he 1eplied ; “I was entirely in the wrong; but, unless you wish to see me act SO unjustly again, I entreat you never to re-open that subject.’ “Never, she said, and she kept hel word Mean- while she saw her blothel wasting away, his cheeks growing still thinnel and a fierce light that flightened her burning in his sunken eyes It was for this 1eason, then, that she generally chose the dangerous houl of twilight to come and sit with him. One day Fresneau had gone to take Constant for a walk 1n the Luxem- bourg; she herself had found some pletext fol staying at home. She took her dailing b1 other's hand in heis, and this dumb caress made the unhappy fellow feel inexpressibly sad. He 1eturned her pressure without a word, hel benign and soothing influence controlling him until thoughts of Desfolges suddenly flashed across his brain. ‘Leave me,’ he said to Emilie, and she obeyed him in the hope of easing his pain. As soon as she was gone he buried his head in the pillows of the bed whilst jealousy gripped his heart with relentless claws. Ah! the agony of it! How many days had he spent in this fashion P Scarcely seven, but in his present sufferings they ap- peared to him an eternity. Looking at the almanac on the morning of the eighth day, he saw that May was 272 A LIVING LIE drawing to an end. Although the pilgrimage he con- templated inspired him with horror, the bourgeois habits of regularity that had animated him throughout his life induced him to turn his steps once more towards the Rue des Dames. There was the landlady's bill to be paid and notice of leaving to be given her. He chose the afternoon for his visit, so as to be sure of not meeting Suzanne. “Just as if she had not already forgotten me,’ he said to himself. What were his feel- ings on finding not only her handkerchief and gloves, but next to them a note she had left there on a second visit addressed to ‘M. d’Albert l’ He tore it open, but his hands shook so terribly that it took him quite five minutes to read the few sentences it con- tained, many of the words, too, being half effaced by tears. ‘I came back once more, my love | From the shrine of our passion, and 1n the name of the memories it must contain for you as well as for me, I entreat you to see me once again. Darling—will you not think of me here without those horrible flashes of hatred I have seen in your eyes P Remember what proofs of affection I have given you on the spot where you are reading these lines. No | I cannot live if you doubt what is the one, the only great truth of my life. I repeat once more that I am not angry nor indignant—I am in despair ; if you do not believe me it is because, with my heart full of love and pain, I cannot stoop to artifice to make you believe anything. Good-bye, my love . How often have I 1epeated these words on the threshold of this room And then I would add—Azt revoir. But I Suppose it must 1eally be good-bye now, both on my lips and in my heart—can it be good-bye fol evel 2’ * Good-bye, my love!’ 1epeated René, trying in vain to steel his heart The simple, loving words, the sight of the room, the thought that Suzanne had come here without the hope of Seeing him, and metely as a pilgrim to the shrine of their past love—all contributed to work ALL OR NOTHING 273 him up to a pitch of frenzy, which he did his best to withstand. ‘Her love l’ he cried, with a sudden out- burst of fury, ‘and she went to another——for money ! What a coward I am l’ To escape the painful feelings he could not banish he left the room hurriedly and rang Madame Raulet's bell. The fair-spoken and accommodating landlady soon made her appearance, and led the way into her own little parlour, furnished with the remaining articles she could not get into the other. On his telling her that he was giving up the apartments her face showed signs of real annoyance. ‘The bill is not quite ready, she said. ‘I am in no hurry,' replied René, and, feaſing a fresh attack of despail if he returned to the room he had left, he added, “I’ll wait here, if you don't mind.” Although he was in no observant mood, he could not help noticing that in the twenty minutes she kept him waiting Madame Raulet had found time to change her dress. Instead of the striped cotton wrapper in which she had received him, she now wole a becoming evening dress of black gi enadine. The Corsage con- sisted of bands of stuff alternating with lace insertions, through which might be seen the fair neck and shoulders of the coquettish widow. There was a brighter look in her eyes and a mole vivid coloul in her cheeks than usual, and, laying the bill on the table, she said: “Excuse me for having kept you waiting I didn't feel very well. I have such palpitations of the heart— feel !’ Taking René's hand with a smile that would not have deceived the simplest Soul living, she placed it on the spot where hel heart should have been. She had suspected the rupture between the pseudo- d’Albert and his mistless by the two solitary visits of Madame Moraines The fact of René giving up the apartments proved her suspicions to be correct, and an 1dea of taking advantage of the 1 upture had suddenly en- tered her head, either because the poet with his manly beauty 1eally pleased her or because she had an eye T 274 A LIVING LIE to pecuniary considerations she could not afford to de- spise. She was by no means old and thought herself very attractive. But on looking at her lodger as she carried his hand to her side she saw in his eyes a look of Such cool contempt and disgust that she immediately loosed her hold of his fingers. She took up the bill, the writing in which showed that it had been prudently made out beforehand, and tried to cover hel confusion by entering into profuse explanations of this or that item in a highly inflated account which the poet did not even stoop to verify. He handed her the sum he owed hel, half in paper, half in gold. The humiliating defeat of hel amorous attempt had not deprived hel wits of their sharpness, fol she examinca the notes by holding each one up to the light, and looked closely at each of the gold pieces as she counted them. She even sounded one of the coins that seemed a little light in weight, and, after a moment's hesitation, said: ‘I must ask you to let me have another for this' The impressions ploduced by this shamelessness and soldid gleed were so well in keeping with the rest of René's feelings that during the quarter of an houl it took him to carry the few things he had in the three rooms to his cab he—to use the apt and expres- sive words of a humourist—‘was as merry as a mute going to his own funeral.” As the old ‘growler' jolted along over the stones, carrying in its musty-smelling interior the emblems of his happiness, his cruel merri- ment changed to a fit of most abject melancholy. He recognised every inch of the way he had so often trodden in the ecstasy of love, and which he would nevel tread again. Dalk and lowering clouds hung over the city. Since the pieceding evening there had been one of those unexpected 1eturns of winter to which Paris is fiequently exposed about the middle of spring, and which nip the young verdure with frost. As the cab crossed the Seine, flowing darkly and diearily along, the unhappy man looked down into the ALL OR NOTHING 275 water and thought, ‘How easy it would be to end it all !’ After this movement of despail he felt in his pocket for Suzanne's letter, as if to convince himself of the reality of his grief. He also took out her handker- chief and inhaled its perfume—for some time; then he gazed at her gloves, and saw in them the shape of the fingers he had loved so well He felt that he had exhausted all his energy in resisting temptation, and as soon as he was alone in his room after this fresh and painful crisis he clied aloud, ‘I cannot bear it any longer l’ Calmly, almost mechanically, he opened a drawel and took Out of a leather case a small revolver his sister had given him to carry in his pocket when coming home late from the theatre. It was not loaded, and, taking out a packet of cartridges, he weighed one 1n the palm of his hand. Poor human machine, how little is required to bring you to a standstill ! He loaded the revolver and unbuttoned his shirt; then, feeling for the place where his heart thiobbed within him, he pressed the barrel against it. ‘No,' he said, 1n a firm tone, “not before I have tried.’ These words were the outcome of an idea which had repeatedly entered his mind, and which, 1epeatedly rejected as a crazy one, now took shape and folm with the precision our thoughts assume in moments of im- portant action. He put the revolver back in the drawer, and sitting down in his almchail—Suzanne's arm- chair — he plunged into that abyss of tragic thought in which visions stand out in bold relief, arguments follow on each other with lightning rapidity, and des- perate resolutions are adopted. “My love l’ he repeated to himself, remembering the wolds of Suzanne's lettel Yes, in spite of her lies, in spite of the play she had acted—the innumerable scenes of which now passed thlough his mind—in spite of hel base connection with ‘T 2 276 A LIVING LIE Desforges, she had truly and passionately loved him. If that love were not sincele, then the story of the past few months was perfectly unintelligible ! What other motive could have thrown her into his alms? It could not have been an interested one. He was So poor, SO humble, so utterly beneath her. Neither was it the glory of enslaving a fashionable author, for she had herself begged that their relations should be kept a secret. It could not be vanity, for she had not stolen him from any rival, nor had she held out long to give her conquest mole value. No-monstrous as that love might be, mingled as 1 was with CO1 ruption and deceit, there was no doubt that she had loved him and that she loved him still. That soul whose molal lepiosy had struck him with horror was yet capable of Some kind of sincerity. There was still something within this woman bettel than her life, better than her actions. René at length consented to listen to the voice which pleaded for his mistress, and calmly and dispassionately did he now weigh the crime of venality that had at first so disgusted him. His visits to the Komof mansion and his intimate 1elations with Suzanne had opened his eyes to a new world and initiated him into the mysteries of the highest forms of luxury and refinement. The false notions of high life which the unsophisticated bourgeois poet had at first entertained were soon dispelled by a more cor- rect idea of the frightful extravagance which fashionable existence in Paris involves. Now, whilst his love was struggling for life and attempting to justify Suzanne, or at least to understand her, to discovel in her something to save her from utter contempt, he began to see, thanks to his truer knowledge of the world, the tragedy in which this woman had played a leading part. Claude had summed up the situation briefly in these words : ‘Seven years ago the Moraines were ruined. Ruined That word was now synonymous in René's ears with all the privation and humiliation it generally brings. ALL OR NOTHING 277 Suzanne had been brought up in luxury to lead a life of luxury. It was as necessary to her as the air she breathed. Her husband had no doubt been the first to urge her to adopt her sinful expedient—so at least did the poet continue to judge poor Paul. Desforges had presented himself, and she had sinned, but not from love. When at length love did come to her could she break her chains P Yes—she could, by proposing to him, René, that each should give up all that bound them here, and that they two should go and live together for ever ! ‘Give up all ! . . . They two . . . Live together l’ He caught himself uttering these words as in a dream. Was it too late P What if he went to Suzanne now and offered to sacrifice all to their love, to wipe out all the past except that love, and to bind up and identify with 1t their whole being, their whole present, their whole future ? What if he said: “You swear that you love me, that this love is the one and only truth in you! heart. Prove it. You have no children, you are free Take my life and give me yours. Go with me, and I will forgive you and believe in you. . . . I am going mad,' he said, suddenly bringing his mind to a standstill as this idea presented itself so clearly that he could actually see Suzanne listening to him. Mad P But why The stories he had read in his youth about the redemption of fallen women by love—an idea of such sublime con- ception that it has attracted the greatest writers—came back to him. Balzac's Esther, the most divine chal acter of an amorous courtesan ever painted, had often figured in his dreams of long ago, and natures like his, in which literary 1mpressions precede those of life itself, nevel altogether lose the impress of such dieams. He loved Suzanne, and Suzanne loved him. Why should he not attempt to save her, in the name of that sublime passion, fiom the infamy that covered her, and try to drag himself away from the dark abyss of death towards which he felt drawn P Why should he not offer her this unique opportunity of repairing the hideous 278 A LIVING LIE wretchedness of her fate P But she—what answer would she make 2 “I shall know then whether she loves me,’ continued René. ‘Yes—if she loves me, how eagerly will she seize this means of escaping flom the horrible luxury to which she is chained And if she says no P’ A thrill of tello shot through him at the thought, ‘It will be time enough to act then, he concluded. The whillwind of passion let loose by the sudden conception of this plan raged fol nearly thiee hours. As his thoughts swayed hither and thithel the poet seemed unconscious of the fact that his mind was already made up, and that the fluctuations only served to disguise from him the one feeling that dominated all the 1est—a furious longing, amounting almost to a necessity, to have his mistress back. Even had this plan of elope- ment been more irrational, mole impracticable, and less likely to succeed, he would have taken it up as the most reasonable, the easiest, and most certain of success, simply because it was the only one that 1 econciled the irreplessible ardouſ of his love with that dignity his still unsullied honour would never compl omise. “To action,’ he said at last. He sat down to his table and wrote Suzanne a note in which he asked hel to be at home the next day at two o'clock. He took the letter to the post himself, and immediately ex- perienced that relief which invaliably follows upon some definite resolve He who for a whole week, and evel since his filst wild fit of glief, had felt himself unable to put forth the least energy, and incapable even of opening the manuscript of his ‘Savonarola,’ at once set about preparing everything, as if there could be no doubt what Suzanne's reply would be. He counted out the money he had in his drawer ; there was a little ovel five thousand francs. That would suffice for the initial expenses. And afterwards P. He made a calculation of the amount to which he was entitled out of the pattimony that had never been divided between Emilie and himself. The great thing was to get over the first two years, during ALL OR NOTHING 279 which he would finish his play and have it staged. Im- mediately after that he would publish his novel, which the success of his piece would help on, just as one wave sweeps on another, and then would come his collection of poems. A boundless hot 1zon of work and of triumph seemed to lie before him. Of what efforts would he not be capable, Sustained by the divine elixir of happi- ness and by the desire to provide Suzanne with that luxury she would have sacrificed for him P. When his sister entered his room she surprised him arranging his papels, putting his books in order, and sorting some prints. ‘What are you doing 2' she asked. ‘You can see that,’ he replied, ‘I’m getting ready to go.” “To go!’ ‘Yes,’ he rejoined ; “I think of going to Italy.’ “When P' asked Emilie in astonishment. “Most probably the day after to-morrow.’ He meant what he said. He had calculated that Suzanne would require about twenty-foul hours for her preparations if she decided to go If she decided to go! The mele possibility of his attempt failing caused him Such pain that he did not care to dwell upon it. Since the scene at the Opera, when he had left her pale and crushed in the semi- darkness of the private box, he had imposed almost superhuman 1 estlaint upon himself by stemming the torrent of passionate longing within him. The hope so suddenly conceived was a kind of breach through which the torrent swept with Such unrestrained and violent fury that it overturned and carried away all before it. In his madness René even went so far as to look at some trunks in two or three shops in the Rue de la Paix. Since the departule from Vouziel's no one in the Vincy family had left Palis, even for twenty-four houls. The only articles in the Rue Coetlogon that could hold any- thing were two old worm-eaten coffers and three leather portmanteaus falling to pieces from age. These prepara- 28O A LIVING LIE tions, which lent an appearance of reality to the poet's dreams, cheated the fever of suspense until the hour of his appointment. The illusion in which he had indulged had been so strong that he did not realise his actual position until he stood in the little salom in the Rue Murillo. Nothing had yet been achieved. ‘Madame will be hele in a moment,’ the servant had said, leaving him alone in the 1 oom. He had not been there since the day when he read his choicest verses to her whom he then 1egarded as a Madonna. Why did she keep him waiting for full five minutes in this place that must awaken in him so many recollections 2 Was it yet another ruse on her part 2 Recollections did indeed rise up before him, but produced an effect totally different from that anticipated by Suzanne. The elegance of these surroundings, once so much admired, now inspired him with horror. An atmosphele of infamy seemed to hang over all these objects, many of which had no doubt been paid for by Desforges. The horror he felt intensified his desile to drag the woman he loved away from her misely, and when she appealed on the threshold it was not love that she read in his eyes, but a fixed and determined look of resolve. What resolve P Of the two she was undoubtedly the most agitated and least under control. Her long white lace robe lent a sickly hue to her face, already drawn and haggald by the ti ouble she had lately under- gone. There had been no necessity for her to pencil her eyes—a custom practised by actresses of the draw- 1ng-1 oom as well as by those of the stage—nor of study- ing the movement with which, at sight of René, she brought her hand to her heart and leant against the wall for support. At the first glance she saw that she had a hard battle to fight, and she feared the result. There fell upon the two lovers one of those spells of silence so awful in their solemnity that in them we seem to hear the flight of destiny | The silence became unbearable to the unhappy ALL OR NOTHING 28 I woman, and she broke it by saying in a low tone, “René, how you have made me suffer l’ Then, rushing forward in her mad state of agitation, she took hold of his two hands, and, throwing herself upon him, sought his lips for a kiss. But he had the strength to shake her off. ‘No,' he said, ‘I won't.' Wringing her hands, she cried in distress, ‘Then you still believe in those vile suspicions ! You did not come, and you condemned me unheard | What proofs had you ? That you saw me leave a certain house ! Not a single doubt in my favour—not one out of twenty suppositions that might have pleaded for me! What if I tell you that a friend of mine living in that house was ill, and that I had been to call on her P What if I tell you that the presence of the other person whose sight drove you mad was due to the same cause P Shall I swear it by all I hold most sacred, by—— “Don’t swear, exclaimed René in harsh tones, ‘I shouldn't believe you—I don't believe you.’ ‘He does not believe me even now—my God What shall I do ’’ She paced up and down the room, repeating, ‘What shall I do? What shall I do 2' During the whole of that week she had been tor- mented by the thought that he might be so thoroughly exasperated as not to believe her. If but a single sus- picion were left him she was lost. He would follow her again or have her watched. He would know that she met Desforges every time she visited her 1maginaly friend, and the whole thing would begin over again. What, then, was the use of going on with her lies P She had had enough of it all. Now that her heart was stirred by the sincerest of passions she felt a desire to tell her lover the truth—the whole truth, and, while tell- ing him, to convince him of the depth of her love. He must be made to hear the cry that came from her heart, and made to believe it. Almost beside herself, she commenced her story. 282 A LIVING LIE * It is tiue—I lied to you. You want to know all— you shall know all.’ She stopped for a moment and passed her hands wildly over her face No, no She felt incapable of making this confession. He would despise her; and Inventing, as she went on, a kind of incoherent com- promise between her desire to unbosom herself and the fear of repelling René, she began again. ‘It is a horrible story. My father died. There were letters to get back with which his enemies might have blackened his memory. This required money—a good deal. I had none. My husband stood aloof. Then this man came. I lost my head, and once he had me in his grasp he would not let me go. Ah I can you not understand that I lied only to keep you?” René had been watching her as these hurried words fell from her lips. The story of rescuing her father's honour he knew to be a flesh lie, but her last cry, uttered with almost Savage ardour, had the ring of truth in 1t. What mattered to him all the rest? He would know by her answer whether this love, the only sincerity to which she now laid claim, was strong enough to triumph over all else “So much the better!’ he replied. ‘Yes, so much the better if you are the slave of a wretched past that weighs you down | So much the better if your subjec- tion to this man causes you such hori or You say that you have loved me—that you still love me, and that you lied only to keep me? I now offer you an opportunity of giving me such ploofs of that love as will put an end to all my doubts. ‘I ask you to efface the past for ever and with one stroke. I too love you, Suzanne--ah ! how tenderly Do not ask me what my feelings were on learning what I have learnt, on Seeing what I have seen. If it has not killed me, it is because we do not die of despair. I am ready to forgive all, to forget all, provided I know of a certainty that you really love me. I am free, and, since ALL OR NOTHING 283 you have no children, you too are free. I am ready to give up everything for you, and I have come to ask you whether you are ready to do the same We will go wherever you like—to Italy, to England, to any country where we shall be sure of finding no traces of your past life. That past I will blot out; my belief in your love will give me strength to do this. I shall say to myself: “She did not know me ; but as soon as I bared my heart there was nothing that could withstand her love.” To accept the present hol rible state of things is impossible. To see you coming to me stained by this man's caresses —or even, if you should break with him, to doubt the reality of the 1upture, and to reassume the degrading zóle of a spy I have all cady played—no, Suzanne, do not ask it of me ! We have reached that point when we must be all or nothing to each other—either absolute strangels of lovers who find in their love compensation for the loss of family, country, and the whole world. It is for you to choose.’ He had spoken with the concentrated energy of a man who has sworn to carry Out what he has 1n his mind. Mad as the ploposal seemed 1n the eyes of a woman accustomed only to such folms of passion as are compatible with the laws and usages of Social life, Suzanne did not hesitate fol a moment. René had spoken in all sincerity, but in doing so had given proofs of such deep-looted affection that she had no doubt as to her final triumph over the rebellious and mad schemes of the poet. ‘How good you are to talk to me like that l’ she replied with a thrill of joy. ‘How you love me ! How you love me!’ In utteling these words she hung her head a little, as if the happiness brought her by these proofs were almost too much to bear. ‘God how Sweet this is l’ she murmuſed. Then, approaching him once more, she took his hand, almost timidly this time, and held it tightly clasped in her own. 284 A LIVING LIE ‘Child that you are, what is it you offer me? If it were only a question touching myself, how gladly I would say, “Take all my life,” and deserve little praise for doing so ! But how can I accept the sacrifice of yours ? You are twenty-five years old and I am more than thirty. Close your eyes, and look at us in ten years' time. I shall be an old woman, whilst you will still be a young man. What then 2 And what about your work—that art to which you are so attached that it makes me quite jealous P Why should I hide it from you now P You must be in Paris to be able to write. I should see you pining away beside me. I should sce you, an unwilling slave, bestowing affection upon me out of pity and from a sense of duty. No—I could not bear it ! My love, lay aside this mad plan and say that you forgive me without it—say it, René, I implore you!” Whilst speaking she had nestled closer to the poet, and now hung her arms about his neck, seeking his lips with hers. An intense desire to fold her in his arms came over him, but it was drowned in the disgust he felt at her lasciviousness. Seizing her by the wrist, he flung her from him, shouting in his fury, “Then you refuse to come—tell me once more you refuse to come !’ “René, I entreat you,' she went on, with tears in her voice and in her eyes, “do not cast me off! Since we love each other, let us be happy Take me as I am, with all the wretchedness of my life. It is true—I love luxury, I love gaiety, I love the Paris you hate. I shall never have the courage to break my bonds and give all this up. Take me for what I am, now that you know all, now that you feel I am speaking the truth when I swear I love you as I have never loved before. Keep me! I will be your slave, your thing ! When you call me, I will come. When you drive me away, I will go. Do not look at me with such eyes, I implore you—let your heart be softened When you came to me, did I ALL OR NOTHING 285 ask you whether you had another mistress P No.; I had but one wish—to make you happy. Can you reproach me for having kept all the misery of my life from you ? Look at me—I kneel before you and beseech you j She had, indeed, thrown herself at his feet. She took no heed of prudence now, nor of the possibility of a servant entering the room. Clinging to his garments, she dragged herself about on her knees. Never had she looked so beautiful as when, with eyes aglow and her face burning with all the fire of passion, she at length laid aside the mask and proclaimed herself the sublime courtesan she had always been. René's senses were in a state of wild commotion, but a cruel reminis- cence flashed across his brain, and he flung his words at her with an insulting Sneer— ‘And what about Desforges P’ ‘Don’t speak of him, she moaned, “don’t think of him If I could get rid of him or forbid him the house, do you think I should hesitate P Don't you understand what a hold he has upon me 2 My God My God . It is not right to torture a woman like this No,' she added, 1n a dull, despairing tone, still on her knees, but now immovable and with hanging head, ‘no, I can bear it no longer l’ “Then accept my offer,’ said René ; ‘there is still time. Let us fly together.’ ‘No,' she 1eplied, in accents of still greater despair, ‘no ; I can't do that either. It would be so easy to make a promise and break it. But I have already lied too much.” She rose. The crisis through which she had passed was beginning to react upon her nerves, and she repeated wealily, ‘I can't do that either—I can't.' ‘What, then, do you want?’ he cried in tones of fury. ‘Why were you on your knees just now P A toy——a plaything—is that what you want me to be P A young man whose calesses would compensate you for those of the other ' ' His angel carried him away, and the brutal 286 A LIVING LIE words almost led to deeds. He strode towards her with uplifted fist and with an expression so tellible that she thought he was going to kill her. She diew back, pale with fear, and with outstretched hands. “Forgive me, forgive me !' she clied in her distrac- tion. “Don’t hult me !” She had taken sheltel behind a table upon which, amongst othel tº 1ſles, there stood the photograph of the Balon in a plush flame. In struggling with the hor11ble temptation to strike this defenceless woman René had turned his eyes fiom her. As they fell upon the por- trait he bloke out into a hideous laugh. Taking up the frame, he seized Suzanne by the hair and 1ubbed the port1ait violently over her lips and face, at the risk of cutting her, continuing his fiantic laughter all the time. ‘Here,' he cried, “hele is your lover ! Look at him —your lovel !’ He threw the frame upon the floor, and crushed it with his heel. But no sooner had he committed this mad action than he was ashamed of it. For the last time he looked at Suzanne as, with dishevelled hair and staring eyes, she stood in a corner overcome with fear— then without a word he left the room, and she had not the strength to uttel a syllable to retain him. CHAPTER XX THE ABBE TACONET Two days after this terrible scene Claude Larcher was standing on the balcony of Colette's rooms, which over- looked the Tuileries gardens. It was about two in the afternoon, and theie had been a 1eturn of glorious spring weather, bringing a bright blue sky and warm THE ABBE TACONET 287 May breezes. Claude had spent several days with Colette. The two lovers had been seized with one of those revivals of passion which are all the more ardent and vehement on account of the memories of past quarrels and the certainty of others to come. Larcher was 1eflecting upon this culious law of love as he watched the smoke of his cigar culling up in thin blue wreaths in the sunshine. Then he looked down upon the line of carriages in the street and the crowd of promenaders under the scanty foliage of the gardens. He was astonished at the state of perfect felicity into which these few days of indulgence had plunged him. His painful jealousy, his legitimate anger, his feelings of degradation—all had passed away since Colette had acted in accordance with his wishes and closed her door to Salvaney. This would not last, he knew full well, but the presence of this woman was to him such com- plete happiness that it allayed his fears for the future as it effaced his rancout for the past. He smoked his cigar slowly and peacefully, turning round every now and then to look at Colette through the open window as she sat in a cane rocking-chair, dressed 1n a Chinese gown of pink satin embroidered with gold—a duplicate of the one in her dressing room at the theatre. Swinging her- self to and fro, she slipped her dainty feet in and out of her embroidered morocco leather slippers, displaying, as she did so, a pair of pink Silk Stockings to match her dress. The room in which she sat was filled with flowels The walls were covered with Souvenils of an artist's life— water-colour drawings of Scenes in the gleen-room, tambourines won in cotillons, photographs, and wreaths A small white Angora kitten, with One eye blue and the other black, was lying on 1ts back playing with a ball whilst Colette continued rocking herself—now smiling at Claude between the puffs at her Russian cigarette, now reading a newspaper she held in her hand, and all the time humming a chal ming ballad of Richepin's 288 A LIVING LIE recently set to music by a foreign composer named Cabaner. ‘One month flies by, another comes, And time runs like a hare 2 “Mon Dieu !” murmured the writer as he listened to the couplets of the only poet of our time who has been able to compete successfully with the divine Chansons populaires—‘these lines are very fine, the sky is very blue, my mistless is very pretty. To the deuce with analysis ' ' The actless interrupted this placid soliloquy of her contented lover with a cry of alarm. She had risen from her chair and was holding the paper with a trem- bling hand. After having, according to her wont, looked over the contents of the third page, where the theatrical news are chronicled, she had turned to the Second and then to the first. It was there she had just read what had so upset her, for she stammered, as she handed Claude the paper— ‘It is horrible !’ Claude, terrified by her sudden and intense agitation, took the paper and read the following lines under the heading, “Echos de Palis: ' ‘As we go to press we hear of an event that will cause much grief and constel nation 1n the literary world. M. René Vincy, the successful author of the “Sigisbée,” has made an attempt to commit suicide in his rooms in the Rue Coetlogon by discharging a revolver in the region of his heart. In order to remove the fears of M. Vincy's numerous admirers, we hasten to add that the attempt will have no fatal results. Our sympathetic confrère is indeed grievously wounded, but the ball has been extracted, and the latest news are most re- assuring. Much speculation 1s indulged in concerning the motive of this desperate act.' ‘Colette l’ cried Claude, “it is you who killed him l’ ‘No, no l’ moaned the actless wildly ; ‘it can't be. THE ABBE TACONET 289 He won't die. You see, the paper says he is better. Don't say that I should never forgive myself. How was I to know P I was so mad with you—you had be- haved so cluelly that I would have done anything to be revenged. But you must go to him—run | Here is your hat, your gloves, your stick. Poor little René ! I will send him some flowers; he was so fond of them. And do you think it is on account of that woman P’ As she spoke—her incoherent sentences betraying both her customary puerility and the real good feeling she possessed in spite of all—she had dressed Larcher and pushed him towards the door. ‘And where shall I find you ?’ he asked ‘Fetch me here at six o'clock to go and dine in the Bois. Moſz Dieu / ' she added, “if I hadn't these two appointments with the milline1 and the dressmaker, I would go with you. But I must see them.’ “Do you still want to go and dine 1n the Bois P’ said Claude. ‘Don’t be unkind, she 1eplied, giving him a kiss; ‘It is such fine weather, and I do so want to dine out in the open.” With these words closed a scene which described the actless to a nicety, with her Sudden transitions from sincerest grief to a most passionate love of pleasure. Laichel kissed her in return, though despising him- self in a vague kind of way for being so indulgent to hel least whims even now after hearing of a catastrophe that touchcq him so closely. Rushing out of the room, he flew down the stalls foul at a time, jumped into a cab, and at the end of fifteen minutes found himself before the gate in the Rue Coetlogon thiough which he had passed but a few months since All that had stiuck him so ſo; cibly then Suddenly came back to him now– the fiowning sky, the pale moon sailing amid the Swift-Scudding clouds, and the strange presentiment that had chilled his healt. Now the b11ght May Sunshine filled the heavens with light, and the nal 10w strip of galden in fiont of the house was U 29O A LIVING LIE decked with green The air of spring that hung over the peaceful abode was an excellent presentment of what René's life had long been, and what it would have remained 1ſ he had nevel met Suzanne. Who had been the indirect author of that meeting 2 In vain did Claude try to shake off his 1emorse by saying, ‘Could I foresce this catastiophe P’ He had foreseen it. Nothing but evil could lesult from the poet's sudden transplantation to a world of luxury in which both his vanity and sen- suality had been diawn to the surface The worst had come to pass—by a terrible run of ill luck, it is true. But who had provoked that ill luck P. The answel to that question was a cruel one for a true friend, and it was with a heavy healt that Claude walked up to the house in which formerly there had dwelt naught but simplicity, honest labour, and a pure and noble love. How many deadly stings had entered it since then, and what an infinity of gl 1ef! This came home to him once more on Seeing the maid's agitated face and on hearing the sobs which burst flom hel as she opened the door and recognised the visitol. Wiping her eyes with the corner of her blue apron, she let loose a flow of words thickly sprinkled with hel own patois ‘A/, / / /a faut-i ' Mom &om monsteal?' ' To try and kill himself like that—a child I’ve known as tendel and as gentle as a girl' /ésus, Marze, Josep/, / Come 1n, Monsieul Claude, you will find Madame F1 esneau and Mademoiselle Rosalie in the sal/e-d-manger. Monsieur l'Abbé Taconct 1s with /.272 ° Emilie and Rosalie were togethel in the 10om in which Claude had so often been welcomed by a charming family picture. The doctor had evidently just gone, fol theie was a st1 ong Smell of calbolic acid, like that leſt by rebandaging. A bottle beaſ ºng a red label was standing on the table with a saucel beside it, and close by lay a Small heap of Square pieces of cotton. A packet of linen bandages, Some strips of plaster, a pot of ointment labelled red like the bottle and covci.ed THE ABBE TACONET 29 I with tinfoil, Some nursery pins, and a stamped prescrip- tion gave the room the appearance of a hospital ward. Emilie's pallor revealed mole than words what she had gone through during the past fol ty-eight houls. The sight of Claude produced the same effect upon her as upon Françoise. His mere presence recalled to her the old days when she had been so proud of her René. She burst into tears, and, giving him her hand, said: ‘You were right !” Rosalie had darted a look at the visitor charging him as plainly as possible with René's attempted suicide. Her eyes expressed such deep hatred and their meaning was so fully in keeping with Claude's secret remorse that he turned his own eyes away, and asked, after a moment's silence, ‘Can I see him 2' “Not to-day, replied Emilie, “he is so weak The doctor ſeals the least excitement.” She added, “My uncle will tell you how he is now.’ “When did this happen? I only heard of it from the papels.’ ‘Has it got into the papcis P’ said Emilie. “I tried so hald that it should not.’ ‘A few lines of no 1mportance,’ 1Cplied Claude, guess- ing the truth from Rosalie's sudden change of colour. Old Offalel had a young man under him in the Wal Office who was connected with the Pless, and whom Larcheſ knew The sous-cheſ had no doubt been gos- Siping, and his daughtcl had already got to heal of 16 Lal chel made an attempt to gain flesh favout in Rosalie's cycs by allaying Madame Flesneau's suspicions. ‘The 1epolteis fel 1 et out everything,' he said ; “no one who is the least bit known can escape them. But, he continued, ‘what alc the details P’ ‘He came home the day before yestel day about four o'clock, and I saw at once by his face that there was Something wiOng with him. I had, however, been so accustomed to see him look sad of late that 1t did not stlike me very much. He had told me that he was U 2 292 A LIVING LIE going to Italy on a long tour. I said to him : “Do you still intend going to-morrow 2° “No,” he replied, and, taking me in his alms, held me there for some time, whilst he sobbed like a child. I asked him what was the matter. “Nothing,” he said ; “where is Constant 2 ” His question surplised me He knew that the boy nevel comes home from school before six o'clock. “And Flesneau ?” he added Then he drew a deep sigh and went into his room. I stood there for five minutes de- bating with myself—I thought that perhaps I ought not to leave him alone. At last I began to get frightened— he is so easily led away in his fits of despair. And then I heard the report—I shall hear it all my life l’ She stopped, too agitated to go on, and, after another stol m of teals had spent itself, Claude asked, ‘What does the doctor say ?’ ‘That he is out of danger, unless some unforeseen complication sets in,’ 1eplied Emilie; “he has explained to us that the trigger of the revolver—1t was I who gave it him l—was somewhat hard to pull. The plessure that he brought to beat upon it must have altered the direction of the ball ; it passed through the lung without touching the heart, and came out on the other side. At twenty-five Mon Dieu ! Mon Dieu ! What a terrible thing ! No-he does not love us, he has nevel loved us !’ Whilst she was thus lamenting and laying bale a heart suffering from those pangs of unlequited affection that mothels know so well the Abbé Taconet appealed on the thieshold of the sick-room. He shook hands with Claude, whom he had long since forgiven for having run away fi Om the Ecole Saint-André, and replied to the inquiring looks of his niece and Rosalie ‘He is going to sleep, and I must get back to my school.' ‘Will you allow me to walk with you?” said Claude. ‘I was going to ask you to do so, 1eplied the priest. Fol some minutes the two men walked side by side in silence. The Abbé Taconet had always inspired THE ABBE TACONET 293 Larcher with respect. His was one of those spotless natures which form Such a contrast to the ordinary low standard of morality that their mere existence is a stand- ing 1eproach to a man of the period like the writer, given up to vice though Craving for the ideal Even now, as the Abbé walked beside him with his somewhat heavy tread, Claude looked at him and thought of the moral gulf that separated them. The d11ector of the Ecole Saint-André was a tall, strong-looking man of about fifty. At filst sight there was nothing in his robust corpulence to betray the asceticism of his life. His rounded cheeks and ruddy complexion might cven have lent him an all of joviality had not the serious lines of his mouth and the usually serene look in his eyes cor- rected this 1mplession. The sort of 1magination found in true altists, and which, elaborated by heredity, had produced the morbid melancholy of René's mother, the poet's own talent, his delight in all things brilliant, and even Emilie's inordinate affection for her brother—that imagination which will not allow the mind to be satisfied with the present and the positive, but which paints all objects in too bright or too dark a colour—this danger- ous yet all-powerful faculty had also its reflex in the eyes of the priest. But Catholic discipline had collected its excesses as deep faith had sanctified its use. The serenity of his piercing glance was that of a man who has lain down at night and risen each morning for years together with but one idea, and that—of self-sacrifice. Claude was well acquainted with the precise terms in which this idea was couched, and to which the Abbé Taconet always revelted in his conversation—the Salva- tion of France by the aid of Christianity. Such was, according to this 1 obust workel in moral spheres, the task laid down in our day for all Frenchmen who welc will- ing to undertake it. Claude was also aware of the hopes this truly eminent pliest had cherished concerning his nephew. How often had he heard him say “France has need of Christian talent ' | He therefore looked at him 294 A LIVING LIE with palticular culiosity, discoveling in his usually calm face a tiace of anxiety—he would almost have called It an explcssion of doubt. They were walking along the Rue d’Assas, and were just about to closs the Rue de Rennes, when the Abbé stopped and turned to his Companion. ‘My niece tells me you know the woman who has diiven my nephew to this desperate act. God has not permitted the poor boy to disappeal 1n this fashion The body will be healed, but the soul must not be allowed to relapse. What is she P’ ‘What all women are, 1eplicq the wi iter, unable to 1esist the pleasure of displaying before the pliest his pletended knowledge of the human healt. “If you had ever sat in the confessional you would not say all women,” remaiked the Abbé ‘You do not know what a Chiistian woman is, and of what sacrifices she is capable.’ ‘What almost all women are, 1epeated Claude, with a touch of 1rony, and began to 1elate what he knew of René's story, drawing a fairly exact poſt1ait of Suzanne with the aid of many psychological cxpressions, and speaking of the multiplicity of her person——of a first and a second condition of her ‘I,’ ‘There is in hel,’ he said, ‘a woman who is fond of luxuly, and she therefore keeps a lovel who can give it her ; then there is a woman who is fond of love, and So she takes a young lovel ; a woman who is fond of respect, and so she lives with a husband whom she treats w1th consideration. And I will wager that she loves all thiee—the paying lovel, the loving lover, and the plotecting husband—but in a different way. Certain natures ale so constructed, like the Chinese boxes which contain six or seven others. She is a very complicated animal l’ ‘Complicated P’ said the Abbé, throwing back his head. ‘I know you use these words to avoid uttering mole simple ones. She is metely an unhappy woman who allows he self to be governed by hel senses. All this is filth.’ THE ABBE TACONET 295 There was a look of profound disgust on his noble face as he uttered these words of brutal simplicity. It was plain that the thought of matters concerning the flesh provoked in him that peculiar repugnance found in priests who have had to struggle hard against a natural inclination for love. His disgust soon made way for a decp melancholy, and he continued his 1emarks. ‘It is not this woman who causes me alarm 1n René's case. According to what you tell me, she would have left him when once her whim was gratified. In his present state she will not give him a thought. It is the moral condition of the poor lad, as shown by this affair, which troubles me. Hele is a young man of twenty-five, brought up as he has been, knowing how 1ndispensable he is to the best of sistels, possessing that divine and incompalable gift called talent—a gift which, 1f p1 operly directed, can produce such great things—and possessing 15, too, at a tragic moment in the history of our country ; hel e is one, I say, who knows that to-mori ow his countly may be lost for ever in another hurricane, that its safety is entrusted to every one of us—to you and me and each of these passers-by-and yet all this does not outweight the grief of being deceived by a wretched woman | But,’ he continued, as 1ſ his remaiks applied to Claude as much as to the wounded man he had just quitted, ‘what is it you hope to find in that tioubled sea of sensuality into which you plunge on a pretext of love, except sin with 1ts endless misery P You speak of complication. Human life is very simple. It is all complised in God's Ten Commandments. Find me a case, a single one, which is not provided for theie. Has a blindness fallen upon the men of this generation that a lad, whom I knew to be pure, has sunk so low in So short a time, and only through breathing the vapours of the age * Ah, sir,’ he added in the accents of a fathcl deceived in his son, ‘I was so ploud of him I expected so much of him l’ ‘You talk as if he were dead,' said Claude, feeling 296 A LIVING LIE both moved and iriitated by the Abbé's words. On the One hand, he pitied him for his evident distress; but, on the Other hand, he could not bear to hear the pliest enunciate Such ideas, although they were also his own in his fits of remorse. Like many modern sceptics, he was inces- Santly sighing for a simple faith, and yet his taste for intellectual or sentimental complexities was incessantly lcading him to look upon any and every faith he ex- amined as a mutilation. Thele Suddenly came over him an iriesistible desire to contradict the Abbé Taconet and to defend the very youth whose fate he had himself SO bewailed on 1 eaching the Rue Coetlogon that after- 1] OO11. “Do you think,’ he said, ‘that René will not be all the stronger for this tiial—more able to cxercise and to develop that talent in which you at least believe, Monsieur l’Abbé 2 If we writers could cvolve our ideas as easily as a mathematician Solves his ploblems on the black-board, and enunciate them, coolly and calmly, in well-chosen and precise terms—why, every one would Set up as an author instead of turning engineeſ or lawyer. They would only require patience, method, and leisure. But wiiting is a different thing altogether.' He was getting more excited as he went on. ‘To begin with, one must live, and, to know life in every one of its peculiar phases, become acquainted with every possible Sensation. We must expeliment upon Ouiselves. What Claude Bernald used to do with his dogs, what Pasteur does with his rabbits, we must do with out heart, inocu- lating it with every form of virus that attacks humanity. We must have felt, if only for an hour, each of the thousand emotions of which Our fellow-man is capable, and all in order that some obscure reader in ten, a hundled, or two hundred years' time may stop at some phrase in one of Our books and, recognising the disease from which he is suffeling, say, ‘This is true.’ It is indeed a terrible game, and we run a terrible risk in playing it. G1 catel even than that incurled by doctors, THE ABBE TACONET 297 for they run no risk of cutting themselves with the dissecting knife nor of being struck down when visiting a cholera hospital It was nearly all over with poor René, but when he next wi ites of love, jealousy, or woman's treachely, his words will be tinged with blood– the red blood that has coursed through his veins—and not with ink borrowed from anothel's pen. And it will make a fine page, too, one that will swell the literary tl easures of that France you accuse us of folgetting. We selve our country in our own fashion That fashion may not be yours, but it has its gleatness Do you know what a martyrdom of suffering has to be enduled before an Adol//ie of a Manon can be dragged fiom the Soul ?” ‘Beat: pauperes sparafu,' replied the pliest. ‘I remember having heard something of the kind in the Ecole No1 male thirty years ago as I walked in the courtyard with some of my comrades who have Since distinguished themselves. They possessed fewel meta- phors, but greater powers of abstraction than you have, and they called it the antinomy of alt and morality. Wolds are but wolds, and facts remain facts. Since you talk of science, what would you think of a physician who, undel pretence of studying an infectious disease, gave it to himself and so to all the town P Do you ever think of the terrible 1 esponsibility that 1ests upon those great wi items whom you envy for having been able to give the world their own w1etched experiences 2 I have not read the two novels you mention, but I well 1emember Goethe’s “Werther ” and de Musset’s “Rolla.” Don’t you think that the pistol-shot René fired at himself was somewhat influenced by these two apologies of suicide P Do you know that it is awful to think that both Goethe and de Musset ale dead, but that their work can still place a weapon in the hand of a healt-broken lad P. The sufferings of the soul should be laid bale only to be relieved, and a cold, pitiless interest in human woe inspires me with holror whenever I meet with 1t. Believe me,’ he added, pointing to the crucifix that 298 A LIVING LIE adorned the gateway of the Couvent des Carmes, ‘no one can say more than He has said about sufferings and passions, and you will find a 1emedy nowhere else’ Irlitated by the priest's air of conviction, Claude replied, ‘You blought René up in His name, and you yourself admit that your hopes have been deceived.’ ‘The ways of God are inscrutable, replied the Abbé, with a look of mute reploach that made Claude blush. In attacking René's uncle in a painful spot, simply because the algument was going against him, he had yielded to an evil impulse of which he was now ashamed. The two men passed the corner of the Rue de Vaug11ard and the Rue Cassette in silence, and reached the door of the Ecole Saint-André just as a class of boys was entering. There were about forty of them—lads of about fifteen or sixteen years old, all looking very well and happy. As they passed the Directeur they saluted him so de- ſel entially and with such evident heartſness that this act alone would have shown what 1a1e influence their excellent instructor possessed. Claude, however, also knew from experience how conscientiously the Abbé discharged his duty; he knew that each of these boys was followed daily, almost hourly, by the Selene but vigilant eyes of the worthy priest. A sudden rush of feeling prompted him to seize the lattel by the hand and to exclaim, ‘You are an upright man, Monsieur l’Abbé, and that is the best and finest talent one can have l’ ‘He will save René, he said, as he saw the good Christian's 1 obe disappear across the threshold that he had himself so often crossed in less happy days. His thoughts became singulally Sellous and Sad, and as his steps wandered almost mechanically towards his rooms in the Rue de Varenne, where he had not put in an appearance for several days, he allowed his mind to dwell upon the ideas awakened by the conversation and the life of the priest. The feeling of physical beatitude THE ABBE TACONET 299 experienced two hours ago on Colette's balcony had fled. All the wretchedness of the undignified life he had been leading for the past two years came home to him, and looked still more wretched when compared with the hidden glory of the perfect life of duty he had been privileged to behold. His disgust grew stronger when he found himself in his own rooms, recalling, as they did, the memories of SO many hours of shame and pain. A score of visions rose up before him illustrating the drama in which he had played a part—René reading the manuscript of the ‘Sigisbée, the first performance at the Comédie Fiançaise, the soirée at Madame Komof's, Suzanne's appearance 1n her red gown, and Colette in his rooms on the day after the soirée ; then René telling him of his visit to Madame Moraines, his own departure for Venice, his return, the Scencs to which it had led, and the two palallel passions that had sprung up in his heart and René's, ending with the attempted Suicide of the one and the abasement of the other ‘The Abbé is right,’ he thought ; ‘all this is filth.’ He went on with his soliloquy. ‘Yes, the Abbé will save René ; he will compel him to go fol a toul of Six months O1 a year as soon as he is bettel, and he will come back rid of this hol rible nightmale. He is young—a healt of twenty-five 1s such a vigorous and haldy plant. Who knows? He may perhaps be moved by Rosalie's love and mally her. Anyhow, he will triumph. He has suffered, but he has not debased him- Self. But I ?” In a few moments he had diawn up a statement of his actual position—well Over thiſ ty-five years of age, not a single 1 eason fol 1emaining alive, disorder within and disorder without, in his health and in his thoughts, in his money mattels and in his love affairs, an absolute conviction of the emptiness of literatule and the deglad- ing power of passion, coupled with sheer inability to tun aside flom the profession of letters or to give up his libel tinc life, 3OO A LIVING LIE ‘Is it really too late P’ he asked himself, as he paced up and down his loom. He could see, like a port in the distance, the country home of his old aunt, his father's sister, to whom he wrote two or three times a year, and nearly always to ask for money. He saw before him the little room that awaited his coming, its window looking Out upon a meadow. The meadow, through which ran a stream bordeled with willows, was closed in by some rising ground. Why not take refuge theſe and try to commence over again P Why not make one more attempt to escape the misely of an existence in which there was not a single illusion left P Why not go at once, without again beholding the woman who had exercised a more baneful influence upon him than Suzanne had had upon René P The agitation brought on by this sudden prospect of a still possible Salvation drove him fiom his rooms, but not before he had told Feldinand to pack his tiunk. He went out and wandered aimlessly as far as the entrance to the Champs Elysées. On this bright May evening the roadway was crowded with an interminable line of carriages. The contrast between the moving panorama of Paris at its gayest, once his delight, and the quiet scene he had evoked for his complete reform, charmed his artistic soul. He sat down upon a chair and watched the Stling of vehicles, recognising a face here and there, and recalling the rumours, true or false, he had heard about each. Suddenly a carriage came in view that atti acted his particulal attention—no, he was not mistaken It was an elegant victoria, in which sat Madame Moraines with Desfolges by her side, and Paul Moraines facing them. Suzanne was smiling at the Baron, who was cvidently taking his mistress and her husband to the Bois—probably to dine there. She did not see René's friend, who gazed after her shapely blonde head, half turned to her protector, until it was lost to view. He laughed. THE ABBé TACONET 3OI ‘What a comedy life is, and how silly we are to turn it into a drama l' He took out his watch and rose hurriedly. “Half-past six—I shall be late for Colette.’ And he hailed a passing cab in order to get to the Rue de Rivoli—five minutes sooner TIHE ENI). 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A Simpleton | T The Wandering Heir, The Autobiography of a Thief; Jack of A Y&oman-Hater. all Trades , and James Lambert, Singleheart and Doubleface. Love Me Little, Love Me Long. Good Stories of Men and other Animals, The Double Marriage. The Jilt, and other Stories The Cloister and the Hearth, A Perulous Secret. | Readiana, A New Collected LIBRARY EDITION, complete in Seventeen Volumes, set in new long primer type, printed on laid paper, and elegantly bound in cloth, price 3s 6d each, is now in course of publication. The volumes will appear in the following order — 1 Peg Woffington, and Christie John- 7 Love_Me_Little, Love me Long [Mar Stone, 8. The Double Marriage, A 27-z/ 2 Hard Cash. 9 Griffith Gaunt. [May 3 The Cloister and the Hearth. With a Io Foul Play. ISKitzie Preface by Sir WALTER BFSANT Ir Put Yourself in His Places [3 tely. 4 * It is Neyer too Late to Mend.” [Dec 12 Å Terrible Temptation. [Auguest 5 The Course of True Love Neyer Did 13 A Simpleton. [Sept Run Smooth; and Singleheart and I4. Wonnan-Hater. [Oct Doubleface. [3a7t 1896 15 The Jilt, and other Stories, and Good 6. The Autobiography of a Thief; Jack Stories of Meri & other Animals.[Wow of all Trades; Hero and a Mar- x6 Å Perilous Secret. [Dec tyr; and The Wandering Heir. [Feb 17 Readiana; & Bible Characters.[3