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PROPERTY OF
University of
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Libraries
1817
ARTES
SCIENTIA VERITAS
1
1
A
*
*
Of this re-issue only 200 copies have been printed,
for private subscription; this is No.
A
VOYAGE
TO
LETHE
BY
CAPT. SAMUEL COCK
SOMETIME COMMANDER OF THE GOOD SHIP THE
CHARMING SALLY
DEDICATED TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFUL
ADAM COCK, ESQ.
Omne tulit Punctum qui miscuit Utile dulci.
LONDON
PRINTED FOR J. CONYBEARE IN SMOCK-Ally NEAR
PETTICOAT LANE in Spittlefields. 1741.
HQ
461
0 6 6
1741
INTRODUCTION.
I KNOW not any thing that more enlarges the mind of
man than voyages. They are not only of absolute
use in opening a commerce with our fellow inhabitants
of the globe, but by exhibiting a stupendous variety of
heavens and earth, men and beasts, birds and fishes,
they shew the Deity in the most awful and striking
light.
I make no doubt but there is an irresistable princi-
ple in man, like that of propagation, which urges him
on to these undertakings, or he could never rise
superior to the various hardships and dangers, the
various miseries and misfortunes, he has to encounter
with in the pursuit of them. Curiosity, glory, interest,
conspire to form a common spring to actuate the
adventurer; and the reception the world has given to
relations of this nature, sufficiently shew they are far
from being disagreeable to the taste of a modern
reader.
According to the learned Doctor Burnet in his
sacred theory, the earth before the flood was of an
even surface, having no mountains, rivers, or other
waters than what came down from above, and con-
sequently we must not expect to hear of voyages
from Adam to Noah; which however I think a mis-
take, and without entering deeply into the matter, or
designing to insult the ashes of that great man, I will
venture to assert the contrary, namely, that many
voyages were made to Lethe during that Antediluvian
period.
Considering then the numberless voyages have been
made thither, from the beginning of the world to this
day, by all ranks and sexes, of what country soever, it
is somewhat wonderful we have not had one written
relation from Greek or Roman, ancient or modern,
which latter it must be own'd has been particularly
fertile in voyage writing. My very good friend indeed
Captain Gulliver, I am credibly inform'd, was solicited
some years ago, by a very great man, to oblige the
2
learned world with an accurate journal to Lethe; but
from a distaste he took in a voyage he once made
thither, having lost his ship on the coast, he declin'd
the undertaking, which one would think should rather
have been an inducement to it. How ever that be, his
noncompliance was certainly a great loss to the
public, which I have nevertheless endeavour'd to
supply in the best manner I am able, and have the
vanity to think myself not altogether unequal to the
task, as repeated voyages have made me perfectly
acquainted with every rock, shoal, bay, and creek on
the coast.
I am not insensible of the odium that voyage-
writers labour under, which they have brought upon
themselves, by carrying the privilege of travellers
somewhat beyond the bounds of credibility; but it is
my good fortune, that the world will presently per-
ceive it is quite otherwise with me, and that I am
absolutely chained down to my good behaviour in
that respect, as it will be in the power of every reader,
beau or belle, from his or her experience to give me
the lie, should I be tempted at any time in imitation
of other voyage writers, to launch out into the marvel-
lous, which is a way of writing however, I know some
no inconsiderable persons are very fond of
But that I may not be charg'd with making a book
of an introduction, instead of writing a volume on the
subject matter, I shall conclude with declaring that I
shall be greatly disappointed in my expectations, if
the reader is not as much delighted with this Voyage
in the perusal, as it afforded pleasure to the author in
the composition.
So without further preface here begins the first
chapter.
CHAPTER I.
Some Account of my Family, and why-The Occasion of my
going a Voyage-My Voyage to Lethe-In what Ship-By
whom built-Her Description - When and where, and
before whom launch'd-Her Name-What Interest made
to command her-The Merits of the several Pretenders
consider'd - The Owners choice of me My Rapture
thereon-My taking Possession-The Signal for sailing.
IT is to comply with the general taste and practice
that I begin this work with giving some little account
of myself and family; and though I do not find any
pompous mention of it in our books of heraldry, I am
nevertheless persuaded I have no cause to be ashamed
of my birth, either by father or mother's side.
I am the youngest of twelve sons and ten daughters
(all born and christen'd) of Sampson Cock of Coney-
Hatch, Esq.; by my mother, his first cousin, a celebra-
ted toast in her time; of the Laycock family, settled
at Cunnington in Huntingdonshire. Besides this
numerous offspring, lawfully begotten, my father was
more than suspected of certain gallantries, productive
of a brood not born in wedlock; and there runs a
tradition in our family, that my great grandfather,
being upon a visit to a relation at Cunnington, had an
intimacy with the mother of Oliver Cromwell, immedi-
ately after her marriage with his father; but whether
Oliver ow'd his birth to him or not, is what I will not
insist upon. Certain it is, however, we have been a
family notorious for our intrigues, which I am sorry
to observe, have not only proved expensive and of
fatal consequence, but too often caused irreparable
breaches in families, and made us the object of terror
to all sober parents in town and country. The same
cause that produced the Trojan War has not, I may
safely affirm, been less destructive to our family; an
incredible number of our ancestors having fallen
victims in Italy or Spain, for their uncautious famili-
arities with the ladies of those countries, which I hope
may serve as a memento to the inconsiderate part of
our nobility and gentry, who may happen to travel
4
+
those parts. In England indeed our amours have not
been so fatal, except in some instances of duels of
honour and rivalship; but they have frequently in-
volved us in lawsuits, which have ended in damages to
the great diminution of the family estate. The libels
in particular, that were severally exhibited against one
of our ancestors in Harry VIII.'s reign, for criminal
conversation with the lady of a noble lord, and an
alderman's wife, had like to have demolish'd us, he
being obliged to fly his country for it, living an exile
abroad for several years, till the death of the alderman,
when his lordship was pleased generously to remit the
costs and damages, and he returned home to the inex-
pressible joy of the ladies. There is another more
fortunate intrigue among many others, recorded of a
trooper of our family, who served under Harry V.
which is of a very singular nature. My kinsman, who
was a strapping handsome young fellow, being quar-
tered at Northampton, a gentleman who was a guest
at the inn, happen'd to take a fancy to him, and
desir'd the favour of his company while he stayed
there. He had been married it seems some years, and
had no child to heir his vast estate, which, for default
of issue-male, was to descend to a person he had an
implacable hatred to. After regaling my kinsman
some days at the inn, he carried him home to his seat
not far off, where he caressed him even to a degree of
suspicion, that he intended something too shocking to
be named. At last, one night after supper, says he to
his lady, to the great surprise of my kinsman, my dear,
this gentleman must have a part of our bed to-night.
As you please, my dear, replied she, who having been
previously wrought upon, readily consented to be
instrumental in her husband's revenge on the next
heir.
It was in vain for my kinsman to understand
the offer different from what was meant, or to urge its
being made in raillery, the gentleman insisted on it
according to the letter; so to bed they go; my kins-
man lying in the middle. Never was gallant sure in
a more odd and perplexing situation! The gentleman
now explained the matter more fully, making him very
tempting offers if he would get him a son and heir
บา
5
-Come-come, adds he, without further ceremony,
mount-mount--by this my kinsman found the
thing serious, so putting his foot in the stirrup, up he
got, and being in the saddle, the husband gave him
three strokes on the breach, and like Richard III. who
cried at Bosworth, my kingdom for a horse, cried out
all the while, my estate for an heir. So much for this
notable instance of revenge; but it must be observed
to the honour of the lady, that she would never suffer
him to take the dernier liberty, but in the presence of
her husband. The expedient however answered ex-
pectation; my kinsman was enabled to purchase a
troop, and his issue is in possession of a noble estate
to this day.
In short, it would be endless to recite the various
intrigues of our family, and as tiresome to exhibit our
pedigree in form; where should we find parchment ?
where a purse to pay the blazoning? or where a case
to contain it? Let it suffice therefore to add, that our
family is exceedingly ancient, and has ever been
allied to the best families in the kingdom; though I
must own, like other noble families, we are not with-
out poor relations. The Laycocks, the Allcocks, and
the Badcocks are some of the various branches of our
family. I never could learn exactly when it first
settled in the county; most certainly it is of very long
standing, having flourished there time out of mind in
great repute, and in the possession of an ample estate,
which devolved with improvements on my father, who
lived many years no less respected and esteemed for
his good deeds. He was moreover of the quorum,
and by his gallant behaviour, had a particular influence
over the ladies at the county elections, but being
against the Court (as all true cocks are) and living up
to his income, after providing for the rest of his
children, he was able to leave me no more than the
manor of Allcock. I had this satisfaction, however,
the neighbours used frequently to compliment me
with the old proverb, that the youngest son was the
better gentleman; and my elder brother indeed has
often said with great emotion, that he would give his
whole estate for my single manor of Allcock, though
6
it is little better than a competency, but I must own
most singularly curious for its shape, and situate
withal in a very pleasant and fertile part of the
country, being a long neck of land, shaded by a grove
of trees, and supported by a couple of hills, impregna-
ted according to the virtuosi, with a white sort of
metal, which being liquified, is deemed an excellent
restorative. Its figure towards the end is in the form
of a large nut; and there is an aqueduct through it,
that terminates in a jette d'Eau, as often as it is
properly supplied with water.
My patrimony, as has been observed, not being
considerable enough to live independent, I had such
an education bestowed on me, as was necessary to
qualify me for some genteel business; but hearing my
father say when I was young, as he was in conversa-
tion with a neighbouring gentleman about their coats
of arms, that by our crest, which is an arrow piercing
a heart, he looked upon it we were descended from
Cupid, born in the island of Cyprus in the Mediter-
ranean Sea, it raised in me very early a curiosity to
see the country, that gave birth to our godlike ances-
tor; and accordingly I made several trading voyages
thither before I reached the age of twenty, though with
blushes I must confess I set too little value on the
prosperous, and did not make the use I ought to have
done of the unhappy ones.
The several voyages I have made to Lethe have
furnished me with an opportunity of making several
curious, useful, and valuable discoveries which are not
to be met with in any modern traveller; and which I
conceive to be well worth the consideration of the
public, and particularly of that learned body of men
which composes the Royal Society. Nothing can be
more uncertain than the time of performing this
voyage. I have known it run in twenty-four hours;
sometimes it has taken up a month; sometimes years;
and sometimes again, but very rarely, it requires the
whole life of a man. In short, it is according as
winds and currents happen to serve. The first thing
an adventurer has to learn is to box the compass,
which is no. very hard matter, as in this voyage you
•
•
7
only fail by four cardinal points, and these again are
quite different from those in common use with mari-
ners; as appears from the following scheme of the
compass, which I have drawn up for the satisfaction
of the curious.
The Compass to Lethe.
Joy.-
Love.
1
Hate.
Grief
From this you may perceive, that when it blows.
full hate, you go before the wind to Lethe; and vice
versa; Lethe is direct in your teeth when at love. On
the other hand again, when the wind is at joy by love,
you will never reach Lethe; whereas when it is at
grief by hate, you cannot fail of making the coast in
a short time.
The last Voyage I made to Lethe was in the good
ship the Charming Sally, built by the celebrated
Herman Swivius, on the river Midway, by all accounts.
a most ingenious artist, that was provided with an
excellent set of tools; and though she had not the
advantage of a royal yard, she was deemed neverthe-
less by all good judges to be no ways inferior to any
of the king's frigates, as may be gathered from the
following description.
She was of an admirable dimension, being neither
too large for action, nor too small for making a
voyage with any tolerable credit or comfort. She had
a most beautiful slope from stem to stern; the one
pleasing with an agreeable jut, and the other striking
the eye with all the awful sweetness of majesty; her
port holes were all of due aperture; in short, there was
such a symetry in all her parts, and withal her carved
works and gilding were of such superb finishing, that
it is not in the art of man to produce a frigate of more
consummate structure.
8
This complete piece of mechanism was launched
(after having been about sixteen years on the stocks)
from the aforesaid Herman Swivius's wet dock on the
river Midway, the first of May, many years after the
restoration, before a prodigious concourse of the
nobility and gentry of both sexes; King Charles him-
self doing her the honour likewise to be present, who
would fain have converted her into a royal yacht; but
the owners absolutely refused it, alleging His Majesty
had more than sufficient already for his use. The
ceremony of christening her was performed with un-
common solemnity and acclamations; the moment
she went off, the Charming Sally resounded in the
air, where for some minutes nothing but bottles and
glasses were to be seen.
Such a general admiration as was expressed on
this occasion, soon became universal, and all who
knew any thing of a ship, were ambitious of sailing in
her. Many were the competitors for the command;
various their qualifications, and various the methods
they took to compass their point. Some had money
without merit; others merit with a more slender por-
tion of the goods of fortune; and some again de-
pended wholly on their birth without either. The
Scotch and Irish put in their several claims as became
their respective countries; the one with great ostenta-
tion; the other with a most vehement assurance. I
remember an old miser tampered with the owners in
a venal way, but they being proof against such prac-
tices, rejected him with an honest disdain. For my
part, I was not behind hand in my suit, and urged it
with the greater importunity, as my misconduct in
former voyages had pretty much impaired my circum-
stances, and rendered therefore a retriever absolutely
necessary. The owners finding themselves thus per-
secuted, desired time to consider of a proper person,
and appointed a certain day for their determination.
Never was man in greater suspense than I was
during that interval; and surely, than suspense I know
not a more grievous situation of mind, and am per-
suaded the dread of any evil is worse than the evil
itself. In this incertitude, in this agitation of hopes
9
and fears, sometimes my modesty got the better, and
represented the attempt as desperate, and next to
insuperable; but then again, thank heaven, I resumed
a different train of thinking, and the idea of my own
perfections soon dissipated my doubts, and assured
success against all opposers: In short, after plaguing
myself some time with these sort of expostulations, I
was resolved at last to sleep upon the matter, and wait
the event.
The owners by this time had had several meetings,
and one day being assembled, they came to a resolu-
tion in my favour; but not till after some pretty warm
debates, and with this provisio, that I should make
over the manor of Allcock by way of security; which
I readily consented to, and immediately upon it I was
declared commander, to the no small mortification of
my rivals.
Commend me to the transport I felt on this occa-
sion; I was a kind of Antipodes to myself, and knew
not whether I went on my head or my feet.——————————If
I met a friend, I did not know him or if he spoke
to me, I knew as little what he said- I was above
ordinary conceptions, or bodily functions- -I could
neither eat nor drink ask for charity, and it was
given -ask my pardon for an old injury, and I as
readily forgave it- -I enjoyed a kind of heaven in
my thoughts; and for the time of its continuance
(which was not long indeed) I was certainly a most
primitive Christian.
After indulging a while in this ideal rapture for my
success, my commission being first signed, I took
possession of the Charming Sally, and immediately
fell to work upon her. The main-mast being a long-
side, we strove to heave it in, but found much diffi-
culty; indeed I thought once I should never have
got it righted in her, being somewhat of the largest ;
but by greasing and working it to and fro, the third
day it went tolerably plumb into the socket. I worked
night and day upon the rest of her rigging-we
took in her cargo, stores and ammunition, and were
to deliver in the Gulph of Venus-provided myself
next with a very able pilot, whose name was Philip
10
Handcock, a distant relation of mine; and I must do
him the justice to say, he never once missed a harbour's
mouth in the whole course of our voyage; and now
being thoroughly equipped and manned, after exam-
ining her bottom, which was as white as a hound's
tooth, I ordered her foresail to be unbent, as a signal
for sailing.
CHAPTER II.
Prayer before and during ou Voyage-We weigh Anchor-Fall
down the Midway-Put to Sea-Find out our Trim-Our
Mischance in the Chops of the Channel-Our entering the
Bay-Our making Bella Speranza-Cursory Observations
on the Inhabitants, Government, Religion, Politics, Laws,
Customs, Manners, Riches, Commerce and Strength of the
Country - My Conversation with the Lovers-My Tour to
the Universities--My Reception there--The Honour done
me by the Royal Society and by the Court-My Departure.
THAT I might not set forth on my voyage more like
a heathen than a Christian, as too many commanders
do, I drew up the following short prayer for the use
of myself and others, which I repeated night and
morning before and during the voyage.
Prayer before and during the Voyage.
Almighty author of the deep abyss, where eye can-
not pierce, nor plummet ever reach, give a blessing I
beseech thee to the voyage I am about to make, in the
good ship Charming Sally, as well for thy honour and
glory, as for the benefit of myself and all mankind.
Defend her in particular from all rocks and shelves,
and grant she may never unfortunately split upon
them.
Vouchsafe to direct our course so as we may con-
tinually sail on the Pacific Ocean; and that neither
storms nor tempests, nor sudden squalls, may ever
overtake us; but more especially preserve us from all
noxious blasts, and let them not at any time burst
from their subterraneous caverns to be offensive to our
nostrils.
Point the needle still aright, and let the loadstone
never fail of attraction.
Let her freight be always ready, and may she never
founder with her burden.
Strengthen me when I succumb, and raise me up
when I am weak, ever enabling me to discharge my
duty with due spirit, which that I may continue to do,
I beg in thy most powerful name. AMEN.
Having now taken leave of my friends and owners,
with great fervency repeated the above prayer, we un-
moored, and fell gently dowthe Midway, and came
again to an anchor in the mouth of the river, a-head of
another ship, who hailed us to know where we were
bound-we answered, to the Gulf of Venus——we
hailed him in our turn, to know whence he came he
replied he was just arrived from the same port, and
wished us a good voyage. The wind serving about
twelve at night, we weighed again, with a fine gale at
love, and a strong tide, having several others in com-
pany. They were pleased to choose me commodore,
and we came to an agreement to stand by one another
in case of pirates. Being now upon the main, our first
care was to find out the trim of our ship, and we tried
her all ways for that purpose. We presently perceived
she required a pretty large bowsprit, and to be well
stowed abaft. In a smooth sea, or when her bottom
was foul, we found she went somewhat sluggish, mak-
ing little or no way; but with a fresh gale at joy by
love, blowing thwart her hind quarter, it would delight
one to see how she would heave and heel, and bound
along.- In short, with this wind and trim, she would
go full twelve knots an hour.
We beat some days in the chops of the channel,
with the wind at grief by love, by an unexpected
accident, our main-mast yielding so as we could not
carry sail, which was very vexatious; but at last with
a great deal of management and trouble; we got it
righted again, which I must own made my heart leap
for joy; at the same time the wind springing up
12
favourable, we took our leave of the channel, and
entered the bay, where we tossed and tumbled pro-
digiously for near a week; and after about a month's
sail, with a moderate gale at love, we made Bella
Speranza, by others called Expectabunda, which I
have ventured to translate High Expectation, an
exceeding populous island on the coast of Gallicinea
beyond the line, near the tropic of Capricorn, and
governed by a sovereign princess of immense power,
and who has an almost uncontrollable influence over
her subjects- -her name is Rompessa, the significa-
tion of which I understood was equivalent to the word
promise in English.
I think I never apprched a place with a higher
sensation of expectation and pleasure, than I did
Bella Speranza, and as I had always a contemptible
opinion of those dim-sighted travellers, who pass
through countries like blind men, without making the
least observations on them; I had too great a regard
for my understanding to neglect getting all the infor-
mation in my power, relating to the inhabitants,
government, religion, politics, laws, customs, riches,
commerce, strength, with such other particulars of a
kingdom, as I apprehended worth the knowing.
This country is certainly of great antiquity, and
was formerly reckoned to produce a rough generation
of people, inflexible lovers of their country, justice,
generosity, and hospitality; at present it is chiefly in-
habited by a sort of men-misses, lovers, placemen,
courtiers, politicians, soldiers, lawyers, churchmen,
excisemen, and all the mighty medley, that have
either a passion for Venus, or are in pursuit of favours
from kings, queens, or ministers of state. There are
likewise some merchants here, but being under vast
depressions, they have very few consignments, and
those too lessen daily. The government is monarch-
ical, and what we term on this side the globe, a mixed,
limited state. The executive part is lodged in the
sovereign, who raises money, and rules every thing to
all intents and purposes, as despotic, as if he claimed
it by inherent right. If any forseeing the dangerous
tendency of this unwieldly power; inconsistent with
:
13
!
i
their constitution, presume to testify their apprehen-
sions by writing or speaking, they are silenced with
abundance of assurances, that no ill use will be made
of it, which is thought a sufficient argument; there are
some again indeed that could wish for more solid
security. As to religion, they exercise it with great
latitude, enjoying liberty of conscience. The lovers
have their particular temples-there are temples for
the taciturn, and temples for the more loquacious; the
bulk of the people go to the Established Church, and
all go I observed rather out of form; for their real
sacrifice is performed to a huge golden idol they have
in the cathedral, dedicated to Tibinoam, which may
be rendered in our language ambition. Here it is
your occasional conformists repair, and it is crowded
every day with both spiritual and lay votaries, who
make their approaches to the idol by prostrations,
and other marks of an idolatrous worship, closing their
rites with the most servile veneration, by kissing the
soles of his feet, as at Rome they do the Pope's toe.
The maxims of policy much in vogue here, are corrup-
tion and luxury, which prevail to that excess, that they
seem to have swallowed up all religion, law, justice,
courage, wisdom, and virtue. It will not seem strange
therefore that I have not the most favourable idea of
their politics. A nation that corrupts another may
reap advantage from it; but it is impossible for the
nation corrupted to find her account in it. If the
wealth of a nation again be employed in corruption at
home, it can only serve the deadly purpose of self-
destruction; and when a nation is cursed with both a
foreign and a home corruption, I pity the people under
the baleful influences of those weak and destructive
measures of government.
Their laws are out of number, contradicting one
another, and clashing like an army of swords. I'm in-
clined to believe that the confusion of tongues, said to
be at the building of Babel, was only an allusion to the
Bablyonish laws, which by their magnitude, might
aptly imply a confusion of tongues. I went once to
see a collection of them in a public repository, and
could not help asking if they were piled up to freight
14
a fleet; by this I found they had a violent passion for
law-making, and that their acts somewhat resembled
a fine woman, a fine suit of clothes, or any other toy,
that grows into disuse by possession; I except indeed
some of their penal laws, which now and then necessity
obliges to revive for the chastisement of such rash
delinquents, as may have awakened the vengeance of
some galled premier of state. This redundancy of
laws furnished me with a transient reflection. Right
and wrong, said I, are immutable, and require but few
laws to fix the certainty of either; whereas laws
founded on precarious events, must of necessity be
multiplied, because every day brings its fluctuation,
and one exigence willcceed another ad infinitum.
Were it therefore my lot, cried I, to be a legislator, I
would choose my laws like my friends; they should be
few but good.
Their customs and manners I was told grew more
effeminate every day than other, and there was scarce
a village in the island that was without its assembly
or music-meeting, almost to the extirpation of industry
and good housewifry. That the softening arts too
had so enervated their nobility, and taken such entire
possession of them that even amidst the horrors of
war they were not ashamed of disgracing their families,
by putting themselves at the head of a swarm of
fidlers and singers, instead of following the more
glorious example of their ancestors, by engaging them-
selves to distress the enemy of their country.
There are some among them that boast very much
of their riches, trade and strength but as I thought
with no very good grace; for I could perceive the
ghost of traffic in the most hideous form appear at
every corner of their streets. Riches and true strength,
says I, flow from trade; now if that channel should
once be choked up, what existence will their strength
and riches have? Indeed one of the sensible mer-
chants among them spoke feelingly, and made very
uncommon reflections on this subject. I have observed
says he, that our trade has declined in proportion as
our armies have increased; and I'm very much afraid
sir, we are encouraging a contempt of traffic, that will
15
one day prove fatal to that and our country. We seem
to take a pleasure to ridicule our citizens, at the same
time we do not consider, that we cannot wound the
tradesman, without giving a stab to trade. Formerly,
continues he, our ancestors cherished commerce, and
wisely through the younger sons of their nobility and
gentry into various branches of it, by which means
they established a self-interest, as well as a national
interest in trade; and consequently both from a public
and private consideration, as having relations engaged
in commerce, they were obliged to espouse it. At
present a contrary spirit prevails; our younger nobility
and gentry have deserted the counting-house, and
flock into our armies; they are taught to think trade
derogates, and of course despise it; by which means
a standing army seems to be established, destructive
of trade and the constitution; for now it will be the
interest of our senators to be as zealous in the support
of standing armies, as before they were in that of
commerce, inasmuch, as they cannot disband the army,
without reducing several branches of their respective
families to a condition in a manner of starving-
How nations, cries he, as well as private men, alter
their principles of action! There are our neighbours
of Gallicinea, continues he, fetching a great sigh-
they are acting the wise part we did formerly, and we
are acting the senseless part they formerly did; they
have taken off the old badge of infamy from trade,
and improve every occasion to its advantage; we are
setting a mark of contempt on it, and laying it under
all the discouragements possible. As to the valour of
our armies, adds he, I shall only say, they have seen
more drawing - rooms than camps; and if by our
gentry's enrolling themselves as land-officers, it should
be a drain upon our navy (as certainly it will) we shall
have more reason than ever to detest the name of a
standing army. Upon the whole therefore, concludes
he, if the people are become desperate, if the Govern-
ment, though accumulating power is left naked, if
we are menaced by an ambitious potent neighbour, if
religion is trampled on, if our politics are laughed at,
if our laws are burthensome, if our manners are effem-
:
16
inate, if our trade, riches and strength are decaying;
if with our armies we have been insulted; if with our
fleets we have not been protected, I leave you, O
stranger to judge what a wretched people we are, and
what a gloomy prospect we have of beggary and
slavery before our eyes.
The rest of my conversation was chiefly with the
lovers, who make no inconsiderable part of the inhab-
itants, and with whose raptures and expectations I
used often to amuse myself. I made a tour however
to their famous Universities, which I by no means
regret, having been entertained very graciously. I met
with several relations there, in particular my cousin.
Tom Hitchcock, who was a gentleman commoner of
one of their colleges, and kinsman to the founder. I
found he was greatly respected by the university and
city, and had made great progress in his studies, hav-
ing half a dozen mistresses, a great veneration for right
virginia, and genuine neat port, of which he was able
to drink his three quarts at a sitting. I paid my
respects likewise to the royal society, who expressed
an uncommon admiration at the description I gave
them of Allcock Manor, which for its singularity,
they ordered to be inserted in their transactions. I was
regaled also several times at court, by particular order
from the queen, and had all the fine compliments and
promises made me imaginable, which I supposed was
done with a view of detaining me among them; but
the wind coming fair. at joy by love, after taking in
water, I set sail, highly delighted with my reception
during my abode.
CHAPTER III.
We make Baulkland Point, the Country of the Dupees, Tribut-
tary to Bella Speranza-The Inhabitants described-The
English Settlements on Guelph-India Coast, with the Ports
and Bays described-We bear away for the Gulph of Venus
-Make the Pillars of Diana-Our Misfortunes in entering
the Gulph-We Sail up-Deliver and go ashore-Our
Reception-The Palace of Voluptuaria described—We take
in our Loading-Our Departure.
As on our coming on the coast of Bella-Speranza, I
17
was in all the pleasing impatience of hope imaginable
of enjoying I knew not what, so on our quitting it, a
certain gloomy discontent, mixed with a spirit-sinking
relaxation, took immediate possession of me, and on
a sudden I heard the look-out cry, land-which we
soon discovered to be Baulkland Point, in the country
of the Dupees, ten leagues due grief from Bella
Speranza, and tributary to it. I confess I was greatly
out of temper both with the ship and ship's company
-nothing could please me-I found a thousand faults,
and would come to an anchor in spite of all that could
be urged to the contrary by the crew. On my land-
ing, I fell in with a parcel of lovers, and new married
people—at a little distance from us, I saw several
clusters of statesmen, politicians, courtiers, churchmen,
lawyers, and soldiers, all expressing their respective
disappointments in the most pathetic terms. The
foreign jargon was so uncouth, I could make nothing
of it; but among the English accents that struck my
ear, I could plainly distinguish these exclamations:
perfidious chloe! base seducer! matrimony! silly
pleasure! blunderer! plunderer! corrupter! traitor!
coward! monster! On this, I was given to under-
stand that this was the country of the Dupees, or the
asylum for the disappointed of all the nations of the
world. It is governed by a Dupee general, who is a
very graceful, venerable, old gentleman, mild, affable,
and of a most cajoling eloquence. He's very temper-
ate, and affects no other state or grandeur, than being
served at table by persons of different nations: and
indeed I have seen him attended in the most abject
manner, by Turks, Neapolitans, Spaniards, Italians,
Germans, Prussians, Dutchmen, Hanoverians, and
Swedes. He has likewise a couple of clumsy English-
men in his service, who act in the capacity of jack
puddings.
I soon grew weary of the confused murmurs, and
discontent that reigned here. I discovered the weak-
ness and folly of expecting more than is consistent
with the nature of things-whatever we exaggerate in
idea, must of course lessen in reality; and we ought
so to regulate our expectations, either as to pleasures
B
18
or preferments, as not to render them subject to dis-
appointment. With these reflections therefore I re-
turned on board, and found myself in a more cheerful
disposition to prosecute my voyage.
The wind veering to love by joy, we made all the
sail we could, and soon lost sight of Baulkland Point,
steering for the Guelph-Indian coast, which abounds.
with English settlements, and a vast number of com-
modious bays. The fourth day we had a full prospect
of the coast, the most beautiful one I ever beheld in
my life. It would be endless to describe all the bays
and straights on this coast; I shall therefore content
myself with mentioning some of the principal. Fred-
erick's bay is one of the most considerable—It
abounds with Dolphins-There is exceeding good
anchoring in 9 fathom, on a fine chalky bottom.
Orange bay affords nothing either for safety or con-
veniency, it being full of rocks, and barren all round.
Amelia bay is a fair open bay, all mariners and others
are forbid to enter, or anchor there under a prodigious
penalty; though I have heard of some that have run
the hazard in a dark night or so. In like manner,
none are suffered to pass the straights of Carolina
under the same prohibition, but what is it a bold
adventurer will not attempt! I was told Captain
Portland had often anchored there; and that the first
time he passed the straights he was sadly shattered in
his rigging, having beat several days in the narrows:
Latterly indeed there has been no possibility of pass-
ing them, the channel being in a manner choaked up.
Bedford straights lie at some distance: They are fine
pleasant straights--I never passed them indeed;
nor do I know any that have; though I was told the
lord proprietor was very tenacious of his right, and
kept a strict lookout to prevent any body passing them
without his knowledge or consent. Yarmouth roads
are very deep and spacious-The royal yachts often
come to an anchor here; the chief fish is crabs, Few
people anchor in Buckingham bay, nevertheless it is
safe riding. Montagu bay for several years was much
frequented, and has had the honour to anchor a royal
frigate, but of late it is greatly neglected. Manchester
19
seas.
bay is the next bay. Coming up abreast with it I
thought it afforded the finest regale to the eye I had
ever beheld, though it opens rather narrow than
capacious. There is a peculiar fragrancy arising from
the effluvia of a certain sweet-scented weed growing
along the coast, which like the spice-islands in India,
you may smell at a great distance. It is not famous
for fish; neither is the soil about it very fertile, owing
chiefly to the enervate inhabitants, who have never
manured nor stirred up the land sufficiently. The
captain of the Lumley, being under some disorder of
mind, shot himself just as he was going to an anchor
there, very much lamented by all the English in those
Richmond bay is a most delightful bay, full of
fish, much admired and sought after by mariners and
others; but there is such a thick boom athwart it,
there is no entrance. Romney bay is very spacious
of a red sandy bottom, and capable of receiving the
largest men of war; though it seems to me to be very
dangerous, as being too much exposed to bad weather.
Beauford bay has been of late greatly talked of-
Captain Talbot in particular recommends it much-
we did not sail by it-As we passed Cholmley bays
(for there are two of that name joining to each other)
we saw at some distance a column of water, we sailors
call a water-spout, which falling between two marble
rocks formed a cataract, that rushed down with great
rapidity, and surprised us a good deal, we not being
half a cable's length from it. The water was very
clear, as near as I can recollect the colour of Holland's
gin. It made a fearful roar, rebounding and foaming
like so much spirituous liquor. I had a curiosity to
taste it, and found it had a much greater body than
your spaw-water, though not so palatable, leaving a
brackish, mawkish faintness in the mouth. Neverthe-
less I am of opinion it would be of great use to our
chemists in making phosphorus. But of all the bays
I own Browne's bay is my favourite 'tis delightful
riding there- we came to an anchor in company
with the Houghton, an old unwieldy weather-beaten
Guinea man, who was on a slaving voyage-at the
bottom of the bay there grows a thick kind of a shrub
20
called cecil shrub, of a blackish colour, which people
suck as a great cheerer of the spirits. The captain of
the Houghton had a commission to cut some of it, to
oblige some of our great folks in England of a battered
constitution. We sailed by several other bays no less
famous, paying all due honours to their respective
forts, by saluting each with half a dozen guns. The
wind continuing in the same corner, we passed Sun-
derland straights with some difficulty, bearing away
for the gulph of Venus; and after some weeks sail
early in the morning we made the pillars of Diana
which are of the colour of alabaster, and infinitely
more ancient than either Seth's pillar or those of
Hercules. They form the entrance into the gulf of
Venus, and are built on the terra firma of Buttock-
Land, by some geographers called B-llock-Land;
but for my part I'm of opinion either appellation will
do. All that Milton says of the Garden of Eden I
think comes short of the prospect, which now presen-
ted itself. Here we beheld a frigate, tall, majestic,
entering stiff the gulph, with the beautiful pillars of
Diana erect on each side; there we commanded the
charming circumference of Buttock-Land, and saw the
surge white beating on the stony beach: A little
beyond again we discovered a delightful ivory plain,
which is terminated one way by two lovely rising hills
of the same (some indeed call them the ivory quarries)
and the other by a thick grove of trees, shading a
valley, which is watered by a rivulet somewhat of a
brackish taste. Some miles up the gulph is situated
a most inimitable undescribable piece of art, called
Beth-Eden, id est, the house, or palace, or if you will
the seat of pleasure, inhabited by a kind of Deity,
called Voluptuaria, who is daily worshiped with no
common devotion. It being tide of ebb, I gave the
signal to lye by for some hours; during which we
made all necessary preparations, in order to enter the
gulph at night. Accordingly we came before it yards
braced, and with a brisk gale; but it dyed away, and
did not spring up afresh till the next morning, when
we stood for it again; but had the misfortune to run
foul of a frigate, that wounded our main-mast pretty
21
much, which retarded us near three weeks to repair
our damage; and it was reckoned no bad piece of
work in the carpenter to do it in that time. My
owners, somehow or other, got intelligence of this mis-
fortune, and sent me a very sharp letter upon it, which
I answered with all the submission and fair promises
imaginable. As we were bearing for the gulph & third
time, we spyed a sail-we gave her chase, and
presently found we wronged her she was a beauti-
ful rich ship, Spanish built-we were very eager to
engage her, and having every thing in readiness, came
so near as yard-arm to yard-arm, in which posture we
continued some minutes, when we let fly, and luckily
happened to give her a shot between wind and water
she immediately struck--I ordered the long
boat to be manned, and we boarded her. After rifl-
ing the prize of all we could, we quitted her, and
returned to our ship. Soon after a violent tempest
arose, during which we lay too under a double reef
main-sail our ballast shifted our pump was
choaked-we were in extreme danger--the wind
still blowing a hurricane, at grief by hate, it was con-
sulted whether we should cut away our main-mast,
but I was absolutely against it, even though we should
have perished; and in some hours the storm gradually
abated, till God be praised we were out of danger.
We had now an opportunity of taking an observation,
by which we found we had driven some degrees to
windward of our intended port; but refitting again,
and being in pretty tolerable condition, we steered for
the gulph, with three points at grief by love, and in
about fifteen days had the good fortune to shoot it
without any disaster, having a pleasant voyage up;
and I must observe we were the only ship that were
able to moor alongside the palace. We found by our
journals that we had been about nine months on our
voyage- -after unloading and delivering our cargo,
I went ashore to see the palace, and was most kindly
received by Voluptuaria, the graceful owner, whose
engaging behaviour and conversation I think I shall
never forget. She indeed loaded me with compli-
ments, and in a kind of a surprise, I can assure you,
22
sir, says she, vou are a very great stranger in these
parts-there are few vessels capable of mounting up so
high as the palace-I have not seen one this many a
day- -the admiralty barques have much ado to come
within the gulph, and that only on their return from
Pontack's, after electing a brother of the Trinity-
House. The custom-house sloops go but little beyond
them; neither do the royal yachts quite reach up.
As for the city barques, it is not to be expected they
should perform wonders, though I should be very
proud of a visit from the lord mayor, aldermen, or any
member of so opulent and worthy a city. I confess
likewise I have been very ambitious of a visit from the
great poet of Twickenham, but I must after all ap-
prove his wisdom in despising my palace, since it
would be madness in him to attempt a voyage hither
in the leaky condition his cockboat is in. His Grace
the Duke of M——u is master of a noble tall frigate,
and used to penetrate with his bowsprit even into the
privy garden of the palace, and now and then does.
now; but being much out of repair, and as it were
worn-out, he is obliged to warp up. The Dukes of
B―d and Mb have very gallant frigates, and to
do them justice, they use their utmost efforts to get
up, though they fall short. Lord B
Lord B——re comes
somewhat higher, especially when his R— H H—
is on board. The Duke of C and the Hon. Mr.
V- fall considerably short; but their guns being
generally well charged in saluting the fort, their shot
comes home. My Lord Rd, who has just entered
on the command of the Young Frigate, falls shorter
still, and his guns withal being deficient in metal, the
eruption is so faint, that his shot does not even come
up half way. But the family of the N's, says
she, with a sneer, was never you know very famous for
their achievments in the gulph of Venus—with this,
turning to some ladies about her, she ordered them to
bring certain cordials of her own making, of which she
made me drink pretty freely; she drank several glasses
herself, and giving me some significant squeezes, wel-
comed me in the most affectionate manner, saying,
I'm prodigious glad to see you, Capt. Cock-I'm in-
23
finitely obliged to you for the pleasure you have done
me in touching here, and in return will endeavour to
make your stay as agreeable as possible-my most
humble service to you--pray, sir, continues she,
after drinking, what have you done with your flaming
ship? the-the-the-bless me -what makes me
forget her name? I was very much afraid she meant
the Vulcano Fireship; but as I was always very stud-
ious to conceal the misfortunes I had on board her,
I replied, I suppose, madam, it is the Torrid Zone you
enquire after? Ay, now I remember, says she, you
succeeded Capt. Puny in the Torrid Zone, who died
on his voyage to the gulph? I did so, madam—and
a gallant frigate I thought her as ever stemmed salt
water. She was painted as you say, madam, in a
flaming manner, with red oaker from head to stern.
She steered very hard, requiring three or four hands
to manage her helm, which often endangered the
rudder, and weakened the midships; she had besides
such a filthy rankness between decks, there was no
enduring it; we used to wash her every day with
vinegar, but all to no purpose. In short, all this gave
me an aversion to her, and before I had sailed a month
in her, I ran her ashore on the rocks of Lethe, where
I left her; but I hear since she got off, and is com-
manded by Captain Buck.
Pray how did you like the frigate you returned
from Lethe in? I think she was called the Frigid
Zone?
Why really, madam, as bad, or rather worse than
the former. In the former indeed you were in danger
of sailing too fast; in the latter, not at all, occasioned
by a certain dampness and sluggishness in her, that
deprived the needle in a manner of all operation; for
which reason I presently bore away for Lethe, where
I quitted her, and entered on the command of the
Temperate Zone, in whom I sailed several years with
great satisfaction; but she growing somewhat old, and
taking a distaste to the latitude I was obliged to trade
in, having like to have been lost several times, for
want of being able to discover either longitude or
latitude, I turned her likewise adrift on Lethe, and
24
returned home passenger, where on my arrival I had
the good fortune to be honoured with the command
of the frigate you now see, madam. Quite beautiful
upon my word! and a worthy commander I dare say
you are, Captain Cock-I hope to continue so, madam
I am not conscious of having given any cause of
complaint to my owners, except in a small mischance
I had in entering the gulph, by running foul of another
ship, and receiving a slight damage in our main-mast,
which however is perfectly mended by the assistance
of the carpenter. I made a proper representation of
the circumstances to the owners, confessing I was a
little in liquor, and they have been so good to put up
with this failure, upon the strongest assurances of my
taking more care for the future, and never committing
the like again.
Promises cost but little, Captain--however I
thank you for the satisfaction you have given my
curiosity-come, says she, taking me by the hand,
and looking most bewitchingly at me, perhaps it may
not prove a disagreeable entertainment, to see the
various rites are now performing in the various temples
of my palace.
On this she led me through a noble spacious gallery
of capital pictures, drawn at full length, representing
such illustrious personages as had honoured her palace
with their presence. There was something very
singular and bold in their attitudes, standing full
front, and pointing a kind of cannon or swivel-gun at
the beholder. Among those I knew, I saw King
Harry VIII., Charles II., and Prince George of Den-
mark, with several others whose faces I could not
recollect. I did not observe many living princes,
except the kings of Spain and Sardinia- I think
too the Chevalier was among them—but I will not
be certain--we passed next through a range of
apartments hung with tapestry, most curiously wrought,
exhibiting the oddest and most grotesque figures I
ever beheld. They were in detached couples, on beds,
on the floor, on tables, on chairs, on couches, or in
coaches. I immediately consulted the little natural
history I was master of, in order to find out what sort
25
of animals they were, and concluded they must be the
same with that Shakespeare beautifully calls, The
Beast with two Backs. I am sorry it is not in my
power to describe all the various whimsical attitudes
they were in; at the same time, I lamented very much
my inability to take a draught of them; but I have
since been informed, that one Signor Aretino, an
Italian Virtuoso, has amply supplied that deficiency,
and that there are few of the politer cabinets of
Europe, but what are stocked with copies of them in
Mezzotinto.
are
As we went along, she pointed to a large room with
a cupola——that room, says she, I set apart for your
cousin Cock's auctions-those you see passing-
noblemen and ladies of quality, I presume, by their
dress, cries I-no-no-returns she--they are
your cousin's puffs, going to receive their instructions,
and take a dinner with him.
I was afterwards conducted into an adjacent temple,
dedicated to the Goddess Dildona, who is chiefly wor-
shipped by the Sterilians, inhabitants of a very
unfruitful country, in which her temple is founded.
She is the same as of old the Roman ladies sacrificed
to under the name of Bona Dea, where, as heretofore,
it was not permitted for men to enter; but like another
Clodius in disguise, I found admittance by the con-
trivance of Voluptuaria. The temple was thronged
with women of all ranks and ages; young and old
maids; widows and wives; all sacrificing with great
zeal to the Goddess, whose image was at the altar,
adorned with the branches of the dildo tree, with
silken girdles, and with the tongues of lap-dogs. Over
the inner door was this inscription in capitals-mum
deardo-I presently perceived it was here that the
secret concerns of the fair sex were transacted; and
now it was that I first discovered the true reason why
it was unlawful for men to be present. The first
objects that struck my eye were a formal starched set
of creatures, whom I knew by their carriage to be
waiting-women. They were the most active of any,
and I observed, as soon as they had sacrificed, they
usually received an offering in gold, or something
26
equivalent in old clothes or old shoes, etc. Those that
did not sacrifice with these abigals, contrived it so as
to perform it alternately with one another. I was not
a little surprised to see an actress and a maid of
honour join in the sacrifice; nor was I less amazed to
find a new married lady of quality, that had not been
wedded a week, as fervent as the rest. There were
several more votaries, whose faces I had seen some-
where or other, though I could not recollect their
names. I was so provoked at last with what I had
seen, that I immediately discovered myself, and would
fain have blended in the sacrifice; but it so alarmed
the company, that they vanished with the utmost
precipitation and confusion, making towards the wild
barren plains of Sterilia, which I found by Voluptuaria,
they usually repaired to after their rites, it being the
favourite place of resort of the Goddess Dildona, and
her fair Sterilian votaries.
I could not forbear testifying my astonishment to
Voluptuaria at this private mode of sacrifice, so much
to the dishonour of the sex; however I might be care-
ful, as she was a woman, not to express myself with
all the indignation the subject deserved. I'm inclined
nevertheless to believe she discerned fully what I
thought of the scene, and I look upon it as a piece of
premeditated revenge in her, that she instantly carried
me to another temple on the opposite shore, parallel
to that of Dildona, dedicated to an idol called Pæder-
arstia, worshipped by the Sodomanians, a very infam-
ous people, of a mean sallow complexion, and with an
odious squeak in their voices. As the former was
claimed by the women alone, and the men were ex-
cluded, so the latter was set apart as a private place of
worship for the men only, and where the women were
denied entrance; till very lately the men have thought
fit to take off that incapacity, by granting them free
admission. The idol, or rather monster, is in a most
unseemly attitude, representing a young boy crouching
down, with his head pendent, and his posteriors pro-
jecting to his votaries. The offering they make to it
appeared to me like human ordure. I saw several of
the great conquerors of the world prostrate before it,
27
all besmeared with excrement--Alexander, Cæsar,
Pompey, with diverse others among the ancients-
and several kings, princes, states, lords, priests, great
ladies and others, among the moderns. The Italians.
made the most considerable figure among the Europ-
eans- -the French were not far behind them-
their slavish imitators the Dutch were, as Sawney says
in the play, hard at their arse--and I was vexed to
the soul to see not a few noble lords, ladies and gentle-
men of my own country, employed in such shocking
acts of worship; several of them I confess had the
presumption to claim kindred with me; but I dis-
claimed all relationship, and soon gave them to under-
stand they were not of the family of the true Cocks.
In a niche at the lower end of the temple was
another idol, called Mastupro, with this inscription
over it, A Chapel of Ease. It represents a naked man
erect, one leg a little before the other, with his right-
hand grasping his privates, the muscles of his face
rising strong, and the whole figure seeming in great
emotion; all the while his votaries are worshiping,
there is burning on an altar a certain weed, called im-
potence. In one corner I saw a parcel of school-boys
in fervent devotion-in another, several grave old
gentlemen, who looked like benchers, or fellows of
colleges, and were assisted in their worship by as many
beautiful young damsels.
Having seen enough to shock and confound me,
crying, O abominable temples! I returned to Volup-
tuaria, whom I found in an exceeding keen vein of
satire on the private worship of the men. I acknow-
ledged her plaisantry was extremely just, and told her
I could add no more to her wit, than by wishing the
utter destruction of both the temples of Dildona and
Pæderarstia.
On a sudden an unexpected harmony struck up,
by which I understood we were not far from the
temple of music, whither I with pleasure repaired, in
hopes to dissipate the disagreeable ideas the sight of
the former temples had occasioned. I found it crowded
with variety of votaries of distinction of both sexes,
in raptures of devotion inexpressible, enthusiastic, pro-
28
fane, offering bags of gold; the eunuchs and singers
making theirs in fools caps. I observed a supernum-
erary set of musical volunteers, called noblemen and
gentlemen performers. I had the pleasure in particular
of hearing a senator play a solo on the fiddle to admira-
tion; and a great general was so good to oblige us
with a voluntary on the German flute, that exacted
uncommon applause from the whole audience.
After the crowd was dispersed, it being the hour of
sacrificing at several temples, Voluptuaria felt the
pulse of my devotion, and finding it beat pretty strong,
she thought proper to conduct me to the temple of
Luxuria Dea. The votaries here are numberless.
Lady Riot and Lady Excess, daughters of Voluptuaria,
appeared at the head of the sacrificers. There was a
vast profusion of dishes--they were not within cal-
culation, and I scarce knew the name of one of them.
These, besides abundance of soups, sauces, and jellies
were sacrificed to the Goddess by votaries of every
denomination, masqueraders and others. I observed
a couple of very fantastical people, whom they called
Lord and Lady Fashion, make their offerings, each in
a rich suit of clothes, of a very odd invention; and
surely no Alexander could be more vain of his con-
quests, than they plumed themselves on the merit of
their exquisite taste. Among the bacchanalian sacri-
ficers, the higher class of women offered cordials-The
midling, usquebaugh-and the lower, gin--some
a dozen times a day--others half the number
and some again but thrice-namely, in the morning
and afternoon after tea, and just going to bed, which is
the least any one offers. The men sacrificed in French
wine, port, punch, porter or gin, according to the cir-
cumstances of the votaries, and in quantities according
to their zeal. I saw a minister of state sacrifice no less
than a dozen bottles of burgundy, and knock heads
with all the French, Dutch, and German politicians he
met, whether to inspire them with political wisdom, or
through the effect of a blundering understanding I
cannot say. There were great numbers of your private
devotees, and in particular the Duchess of--seemed
very devout in a corner with a couple of bottles of
29
Barbado's water. The wits made their offerings in
champaign, the beaux toasted bumpers of tokay to the
Goddess, and a set of jolly parsons smacked down the
October with great devotion.
It was not long before the votaries male and female
pulled each a magpie out of their pockets, with which
they concluded the sacrifice, which occasioned such a
confused chattering, as resembled the fury and mad-
ness expressed at the Orgia of Bacchus, and made me
very glad to quit the temple.
Mrs. C- —, with
We went next to the temple of Bawds and Panders,
dedicated to Isis, adjoining to that of Lust. I think
I could swear I saw Capt. B Mr. W——, Capt.
B——, Lady B——, Lady M
several of the politer sort of the profession, at the head
of a numerous body of beautiful young virgins, whom
they sacrificed to the Goddess, in the presence of
several kings, princes, lords, and others, who made
their offerings in commissons, grants, privileges, rever-
sions, bank-notes, and other valuable considerations.
After these had sacrificed, came up the second rank of
procurers, viz. St, Hs, Bn, and offered a
crew of strange frippery, bedaubed, and most impudent
creatures I ever beheld, who were attended by a parcel
of lords, boobies and bubbles offering in gold, convey-
ances, deeds of gift, mortgages, and other instruments
of self-destruction. Mother K- of CG-
brought up the rear of the sacrifice, with her street-
walkers and bunters, followed by a pack of bullies,
sharpers, and pick-pockets, whose devotion consisted
in clamour, imprecations. oaths, kicks, cuffs, and
black-eyes.
From hence through a back-door we passed to the
temple of Lust, dedicated to Priapus, a naked, mis-
shapen idol, bedecked with a shrub called arbor vitæ,
to whom it is customary to offer another, called frutex
vulvaria. I found it was chiefly frequented by the
women, though I perceived in different corners several
couples of both sexes in private devotion, which is
allowable. How was I ravished! what emotions did
I not feel to see such promiscuous circle of beautiful
young damsels, wives, widows, prudes, coquets, and
30
others, committing all the extravagancies as at the
floral games of old; running naked round the idol,
kissing and sucking the decorating shrub with all the
marks of a furious adoration. In the former various
rites of heathenish and idolatrous worship, my religious
principles received not the least infection, and I re-
mained I can truly affirm, a staunch son of the Protes-
tant Communion; but where is the saint I cried, could
withstand these ceremonies? I struggled all in my
power to preserve my religion uncorrupted—but it
was all in vain- there was no resisting-in short,
I confess my human weakness-I could not help
several times joining in their private sacrifice; after
which, and that the public rites were over, in our re-
turn I saw at a small distance a building of an un-
common bulk, taking up a prodigious space of ground.
Upon enquiry, I found it was the hospital of miserables.
In passing by it, I was taken with a disorder in my
back, which I made slight of. At the same time
crowds of votaries I had seen at the temples, poured
into the hospital as patients; and the whole afforded
a spectacle so various, as cannot be described; so
lamentable, as makes my blood run cold with the
remembrance; and with all too shockingly nauseous
for me to make any stay here; seeing nothing but
sores and ulcers, and hearing nothing but the sounds
of agony, bitter wailings and despair. I will only add,
it is under the direction of a governor, called Vice;
Dr. Dismal was the chief physician; Mr. Torture and
Mr. Mangle were principal surgeons; the apothecary's
name I think was Bitterpill; there are two matrons,
Mrs. Languish and Mrs. Affliction; and the nurses are
ever administering racks, pangs and aches incurable.
Voluptuaria having now satisfied me in all my
curiosity, or her palace was capable of, I repaired on
board, where I found my people very uneasy, and
ready to mutiny at my long stay ashore. I therefore
applied myself with all diligence to get in our loading;
which having done sooner than was expected, after
taking leave of Voluptuaria, and thanking her for all
favours, I set sail with a pretty fair wind at love by
grief.
31
CHAPTER IV.
Bound for Cape Venterino-Spring a Leak in Cock's Straights
-A Storm-Throw our Cargo over Board-Discover Point
Cornuto-Dispute with my People upon it-My Obstinacy
-My Error-We run Ashore-Some few Particulars con-
cerning Point Cornuto-We get into the Trade Wind on the
cost of Drurio-Our Adventures there-Make Agonia and
Despair Islands near Lethe-Quit the Ship at Agonia, and
land at Lethe.
NOTWITHSTANDING the wind flagged upon us very
much, we got down the gulph with incredible expedi-
tion, and very soon lost sight of Buttock-Land. We
were bound for Cape Venterino, and was consigned to
Mr. Middiff, our consul, as well as a very eminent
merchant.
In about 56 south latitude, we had very tempestuous
weather, blowing almost a continual storm for several
months, from full hate to grief by hate, with such pro-
digious emotions, as exceeded any thing we had ever
seen before, which sprung our yards, and tore all our
sails and shrouds; we spoke with a vessel bound for
Buttock-Land, who told us that the straights of Hymen
bore love by grief 200 leagues; and on the 5th of
September, thank God, we made Cape Virginia, which
is at the entrance of the straights. A very melancholy
and odd accident happened while we were here, to the
Boyle Frigate, a gallant new ship, commanded by
Capt. Euston. She was set off to all the advantage
possible; finely gilt and painted; with jack, ancient,
and pennant flying; and at her mooring in Port
Hymen as we thought; when on a sudden we saw her
keel uppermost-she had a charming bottom-she
righted again-after which, the captain to our surprise
cut her cable, and deserted her. She drove on the
Island Agonia, near Lethe; and he went on board the
Adams, an Indian sloop, and set sail directly for the
gulph of Venus, to the inexpressible mortification of
the partners and owners of the Boyle, and all concerned
in Bottom Re. We heard afterwards that a trial
ensued, which brought to light circumstances that
greatly astonished all that part of the world.
We now shaped our course due love, steering for
32
Cock's Straights (first discovered by a relation of mine)
but the wind shifting very much from grief by love, to
love by grief, and grief by hate, we beat about for near
a fortnight, making little or no way. There was a
great swell, and a troubled element all the while. The
wind chopping about fair in a few days, we entered
Cock's Straights, where we sprang a leak. The sea is
of a peculiar green here, somewhat like what you see
in maps; and it abounds with a small fry of fish, the
inhabitants call pins and needle fish. We made three
foot water in our hold presently. I ordered all hands
to the pump directly, and they took it spell and spell
every half hour, to keep her as clear as possible. We
found the leak gained upon us, the carpenter not being
able to come at it cleverly. He was a surly ill-natured
fellow, and in the operation would often grumble and
curse Buttock-Land, saying, if I had not stayed so
long there, this misfortune had not befallen us. I must
own I could myself have wished I had been less devout
at the temple of lust, inasmuch as I was not on the
best terms with my owners, and found by some means
or other, they always got intelligence of my proceed-
ings. I gave however the carpenter all the good
words in my power, as all our lives were at stake; and
at last, God be praised, he stopped the leak; though I
must confess it was not without a great deal ado.
After we had passed the straights we met with foul
weather, and had a violent storm at grief, in which we
were several times pouped, insomuch we were obliged
to throw our cargo over board. Notwithstanding this,
there was no working the ship, for she would not
answer the helm, which put us all into a great conster-
nation. Word was brought that they made land, and
took it that it was Point Cornuto. I was very much
alarmed and went upon deck. I told my people I
thought it was impossible; they said they were sure it
was the Point; I was obstinate, and would not believe
them; they answered, I might do as I would, but
they would swear it was as they said; I continued as
positive as ever; but I was soon convinced of my
error, for to my confusion, in about an hour we ran
directly ashore on the North Point. There were a vast
33
the Walpole--the Young Sloop
the
many other ships cast away at the same time on the
coast, and among them a great number I had sailed
with
Thompson the Cholmondley-
the Cholmondley the Walmoden
with several others, that beat all to pieces; and it was
with great difficulty that we got off again.
Point Cornuto answers the form of our Cuckold's
Point, with this difference, that whereas the latter
exhibits real horns, the former is a natural projection.
of the main-land, which exactly represents them; allow-
ing still for the difference of magnitude. This country
of the Cornuto's is of large extent, being the receptacle
of all of that denomination in the world, as Madagascar
is for that of pirates. According to them they have an
excellent form of government; but for all that, they
are the laughing stock of every body. They are great
lovers of the bottle, and their general health is liberty
and property, and confusion to false women! Each
has the figure of the person that has injured him hung
in effigy before his door, to which they offer ever day
some fresh indignity or other. There are some that
walk about like ghosts in the most wretched dejected
manner, avoiding all company, refusing all consolation;
while others again of a more manly turn, are facetious
enough to make themselves merry, with what they
cannot remedy, holding it ridiculous to render them-
selves miserable for the faults of others. They detest
a contented Cornuto, and will not admit him a denizen
among them. For this reason, when the young captain
of the Cibber Galley attempted to settle here, they
rejected him with scorn and contempt. They told me,
they had a vast importation of English every year,
particularly of aldermen and citizens, with no incon-
siderable number of my far-off relations the Badcocks.
These are some of the particulars I noted during
our stay here, and questionless a curious observer would
find matter for many more; but for my part, neither
my patience nor my leisure would suffer me to make
further enquiry; for now I was determined, after
weighing anchor, to fall in with the trade-winds, and
make a trading voyage on the coast of Drurio, in order,
if possible, to forget my late misfortune at the point.
C
34
We met with nothing extraordinary till we passed the
tropic, when we spyed several sail, all in very gallant
trim, fresh painted, and with all their sails out. We
gave chase to several, with whom we exchanged a
broadside or two, and sheered off in pursuit of a beauti-
ful new frigate, square sterned, deep waisted, and with
a very uncommon head; she went very light on the
water; we chased her several weeks to no purpose;
sometimes we could perceive she slackened sail to let
us come up with her, and then she would bear away at
pleasure. In short, having the heels of us, she dogged
us after this manner for a great while, till one night
happening to alter my course, I clapped her suddenly
too in the windward passage. They gave a shriek or
two in the surprise, which daunted my people pretty
much, so that we did not board her so soon, nor with
the vigour and courage we should have done; which
they perceiving, gave them an opportunity to recover
themselves; accordingly they immediately spread all
their sails, and bringing them to bear, they, shot away
from us like an arrow out of a bow, setting up a pro-
digious loud laugh at parting. I was devilishly nettled
at this disappointment, as any body would, and resolv-
ing to be revenged on the next ship I met with, I bore
away in chase of another that quite demolished us, so
little dependence there is on human vengeance, which
generally falls on the avenger's head; for though Pro-
vidence guides not the will of man, it has the direction
of his power. On our coming up with her, we saluted
her with double round and partridge. She returned
the compliment, carrying away a part of our main-mast,
with a deal of our rigging. She then fell astern, and
raked us fore and aft. The next broadside she boarded
us spite of our teeth, carried off our stores and provi-
sions, and left us in a manner a gutted ship. In this
distressed condition it blew a strong gale at grief by
hate my people began to murmur heavily-I was
quite out of conceit with the ship-I did not value
what became of her, nor what the owners should say
or do to me; so took the opportunity of this wind, and
made all the sail I could for Lethe. In our passage
we fell in with a noble frigate with English colours,
35
that fain would have kept company with us, offering us
any thing we wanted, but as we could neither fire our
lower nor upper tier, we just saluted each other, and
proceeded on our respective voyages. The wind con-
tinuing in the same corner, and blowing hard, in a few
days we made Agonia, the most noted island on the
coast of Lethe. Here it was that I took my eternal
farewell of the Charming Sally, not without some
emotions of pity I confess, though the sailing in her
any longer was grown quite hazardous, as well as
distasteful to me. I rowed myself therefore in the
long boat to Lethe, leaving her to the care of my
French valet, Mons. Desespoir, by whom I learnt that
she bulged to pieces on the rocks of Agonia, ten days
after my quitting her.
CHAPTER V.
My Stay and Discoveries at Lethe.
IN former Voyages to Lethe, I contented my self,
with only taking a draught of its water, and used
immediately to return home by the first ship, without
making any observations, or being able to give any
tolerable satisfaction to a curious enquirer concerning
the country, further than what history informs us of
namely, that the water is endowed with a certain
quality of forgetfulness, without mentioning other
particulars, which I think highly deserve to be re-
corded. Being therefore ashamed of former neglect
and ignorance, and being withal ambitious of trans-
mitting materials to posterity for the benefit of future
historians as well as geographers, I was resolved to
make it my business this voyage to dive into every
thing worth knowing, and which accordingly I have
here digested in the best method I am master of.
This country is situate in the latitude of 70 south,
near Terra Incognita, a prodigious cold climate, yet
so numerous in inhabitants, it may justly be called the
Southern Hive.
36
Perhaps it will be expected I should account how
it is possible to preserve life amidst such excessive
severity; it would indeed be utterly impossible if it
were not for this peculiarity in providence; as in the
northern regions the bears and other animals, by virtue
of a certain herb, sleep away the rigour of seasons; so
here, all-bountiful nature has furnished the inhabitants
with a plant of another surprising quality, which taken
inwardly, answers all the purposes of fire; it conveys
heat to man and beast; on this the cattle feed; with
this they boil; with this they roast; in short, with
this they uncongeal the thickest body of ice, by throw-
ing it in proper quantities upon it. This I hope is
sufficient to shew the practicability of living in Lethe,
and coming at the waters of it; and I flatter myself it
is an article that will not disgrace the learned transac-
tions of the gentlemen of Crane-Court. But to pro-
ceed; the mouth of the river is very broad, as many
leagues over I believe, as Rio de la Plata, that goes
up to Buenos Ayres, watering several kingdoms and
principalities of great extent, all dependent on Lethe.
The metropolis is named after the chief deity of the
country, called, Dintoitugra, which interpreted in
English, signifies ingratitude. On my landing, I was
seized as usual with an inexpressible thirst, which you
are not permitted to gratify, till you have paid your
devotion to Dintoitugra, whose idol is placed in their
cathedrals, churches, and chapels, and at certain
distances all along the border of the river on both
shores. Having fixed a label on my breast expressing
the motive of my coming thither, which every one is
obliged to do, and performed certain accustomed rites,
I was conducted by a couple of intogras, or priests of
Dintoitugra, to the side of the river, of which I took
the draught allotted me; for you must know the
quantity of water is proportioned to the degree of for-
getfulness required- -the more hardened, for instance,
a person desires to be, the larger is his draught. To
explain myself more fully: what your label expresses,
so much you forget and no more. For my part, my
case required only a couple of quarts; it is as expedi-
tious in its operation as quicksilver. In an instant I
37
lost all sense of obligation to my owners, and all
remembrance of the Charming Sally, as much as if I
had never known them, or sailed in her. There was
a prodigious concourse of people that drank along
with me, and there are multitudes arriving every hour,
some of whose labels I shall take occasion to mention
in the sequel.
Some miles up within land, near a mountain called
Ribniatan, there is a deep well, the quality of whose
water is directly opposite to that of Lethe, and hath
the power of restoring memory, according to the
quantity taken, or the import of the label, which is
exacted here in like manner as at Lethe. The image
of the Goddess Nervami is placed on the side of it,
being guarded by a great number of her priests, called
Mercurs, and none are admitted to drink but by their
permission; abundantly more people however on the
best calculation, come to drink the waters of Lethe,
than those of the well of Nervami.
I found abundance of persons of all ranks and
sexes, a great many of whom I had seen at Bath,
Tunbridge, Scarborough, Aix la Chapelle, and other
public places, drinking the waters here, which do not
pass by Urine, but mixing with the blood, communi-
cate to it the different effects already mentioned.
Intriguing and gambling are the reigning diversions.
Wives and widows repair hither to forget their hus-
bands, and young misses to forget their modesty.
Some sharpers lately arrived having a mind to evade
the Lethean law, and impose on the Intogras, counter-
feited themselves in their labels as votaries of Nerva-
mi, but the quick-sighted Mercurs soon discovered the
cheat; they were obliged to act up to the design of
their coming, and accordingly they swigged down
Lethe in pails full, insomuch that they lost all sense
of honesty, as indeed their labels imported they might.
As a sailor makes but a very awkward figure where
ceremonial and address are required, I left the com-
pany, and straggled up as far as the mountain Rib-
niatan, which like the boot of Italy in the map, at a
small distance, looks like a person armed Cap-a-pee,
with a helmet on his head, à launce in one hand, and
38
a shield in the other.
From hence I could see the
well of Nervami and all the Mercurs, like so many
merry Greeks, in sprightly song about it. I felt a
secret longing to mingle with them. The Mercurs
are immortal, the Intogras not; neither do they
believe they ever shall be so. The one are serene,
lively, of a celestial society; the other gloomy, heavy,
of a low and wretched turn of mind. As I approached
the well, I was met by a venerable Mercur; his form
was majestic; his beard long and grey; his cheeks
rosy; his eyes sparkling; his manner of accosting me
amiable; his intercourse ravishing; I cannot pretend
to repeat his heavenly phrase; he offered me his
friendship—his protection -he told me he knew
on what account I was come to Lethe--he said the
air of the sea might give a roughness in the manner
to such as made profession of it, but that it also
inspired a bravery and generosity of soul; and he was
very sorry, he added with a smile, to find me an ex-
ception to this observation. I felt a great hurry and
confusion within my self all on a sudden. I can
compare myself to nothing but the workings of Dr.
Burnet's chaos I was a jumble of ideas, that
seemed to be separating themselves from one another,
according to their attraction or gravitation. I did not
understand a tittle of the latter part of the Mercur's
discourse; but by and by methought I saw at a great
distance something that resembled my ship and
owners; and I must confess I fetched several pretty
deep sighs, which I imagine his presence and conver-
sation were the occasion of. He then improved the
opportunity, and urged me in the tenderest manner
to resume my humanity, by taking a few cups of
Nervami, remembering as I ought, my ship and
owners; and by renouncing the worship of the
detested idol Dintoitugra. I took the liberty to ask
what it would signify to remember my ship and
owners, if at the same time I should remember my
cruelty and ingratitude towards them? this I observed
could be of no other service, than to make my memory
my wretchedness.
European, says he, I perceive you are unacquainted
39
with the nature and quality of the water of Nervami,
which I will in brief explain. True it is, that it hath
the property to cause a quickness of memory; but it
will not make you remember what is not fit for you to
remember--it will not convey a remembrance that
is prejudicial to the health or welfare of mankind-
but such a one as will impart a social feel, and rather
give you pleasure than pain. In short, its virtue is
confined to the remembrance of good things only; for
instance, if any one of his label appears desirous of
bearing in memory an implacable hatred to any one,
we request the person to exchange his label for good-
will and reconcillation! if he refuse it, we dismiss him
to Lethe, in order to forget injuries; which is the only
good property belonging to that water; though I'm
sorry to say, there's scarce a quart drank in an age on
that account.
The Mercur having thus explained himself, pre-
sented me to Nervami, and all the Mercurs, who em-
braced me with great marks of tenderness and satis-
faction. He then gave me my quota of water, which
operated as described; a sensation of my ship took
place, that was very far from being painful, and my
ideas were pleasingly animated with the view of
attempting something, that might enable me to make
some amends to my injured owners. We afterwards
resumed the conversation; and he was pleased to run
over some ages of antiquity, very facetiously enum-
erating all the celebrated personages that had drank
of Nervami; among the rest, he said, Penelope and
Ulysses had often favoured them with their company,
and that Brutus died of the quantity he drank in
behalf of his country; while Alexander and Cæsar
could not command a drop, though in their times they
had commanded worlds. He added, that they refused
abundantly more than they accommodated, which
gave the greater employment to the Intogras. In
conclusion, he said, that at coronations, they were
crowded with princes to remember their coronation-
oaths; but they seldom saw any more of them; for
that afterwards they generally choose to indulge
themselves at Lethe, in the company of Sejanus,
40
Wolsey, and other wicked ministers, its chief sup-
porters.
After making my profound acknowledgments for
the great benefits I had received at Nervami, and their
returning me on their part the most candid professions,
I took my leave in order to get a passage in some
ship or other for England.
-n
As I came to the side of the river, I saw a vast
fleet arrive with fresh cargoes of lovers, courtiers,
divines, soldiers, sailors, senators, princes, potentates
and others, with their respective labels. The lovers
were of both sexes, of all nations, most English; some
came to forget their vows, and others to remember the
tender passsion. The courtiers to forget their debts
and promises; the divines to remember preferment
(who by the by met with a severe rebuff from the
Mercurs) the soldiers to remember Marlbro'; W—h
to remember a minister's instructions, and V
generously to forget them, followed by a crowd of tars
huzzaing to remember the flag, who were kindly
received by the Mercurs, to the great mortification of
Wh, who was driven from the well with great
indignation. The senators proceeded with great
gravity and zeal to remember redress of grievances,
and were met half way by the Mercurs; at the same
time another party landed to forget them. As I was
ruminating on the various propensities of man, a fleet
of Frenchmen cast anchor in the river, from one of
whose ships debarked a very awful figure, whom I
found to be Europa in a musing, moping, melancholy
posture, with her label, desiring to forget herself; and
accordingly she drank till she absolutely did so. The
French K-g himself, who had been upwards of
thirty years under a state of forgetfulness, came ashore
soon after in the utmost magnificence, attended by the
cardinal, the grand signior, the Dutch, Swedes, and
several German princes, with some Englishmen in the
rear, just discernable. His label was to remember
universal monarchy, with vengeance on Austria and
Russia-they thought themselves certain of suc-
ceeding; but the Mercurs defended the well with such
obstinacy, they would not admit his most C. My
41
on any other terms, than that of changing his label
for-To remember the faith of treaties; but he had
drank so deep of Lethe, and so long, that it was
utterly impracticable to comply with the conditions
insisted on. Their high-mightinesses came next with
their labels to remember the Prince of Orange's wed-
ding, and succeeded somewhat better with the Mercurs.
I was extremely pleased to see the Prince of Wales
with his label to remember the black prince; whilst I
was indulging on the bravery and gallantry of his
actions, that rendered the English name so dreaded
and respected, a valuable cargo of real patriots arrived;
Argyle, Chesterfield, Pulteney, and many others, who
repaired in a formidable body to Nervami-to re-
member the distressed condition of their country-
and met with a most distinguished reception from the
Mercurs. In the mean time, a huge unwieldy crea-
ture landed at the head of a gang of merciless wretches,
whom I found to be placemen and pensioners by their
labels, praying, to forget the constitution. The Into-
gras paid them profound respect, and seemed more
alert than usual. They were excessive officious in
getting them water, of which they drank immensely
I don't know how many tons-In short, I
thought they would have gorged the river dry
insomuch, that a gentleman who stood by me, wished
from the bottom of his soul, that they might burst
themselves. As they were taking a little respite, and
triumphing in the flinty hardness of their hearts, news
was brought, that a royal yacht had just anchored in
the river, under convoy of twenty men of war, with
colours flying. It was presently buzzed about, that it
was the most magnanimous Er of Hr, grac-
ious K—— of Ed. The unwieldy person before-
mentioned had privately given him to drink of Lethe
so often and in such quantities, that he was in a kind
of lethargy of forgetfulness; people therefore were
agreeably astonished on his landing, to find the mon-
arch with a couple of labels streaming from each
corner of his crown, one- -to forget an overgrown
rapacious destructive favourite; and the other-to
remember the cries of his people. He immediately
D
42
took a sufficient draught of Lethe, to the utter con-
fusion of the Intogras, the minister and all his mercen-
ary dependents. He then proceeded to the well
through the acclamations of millions. The Mercurs
threw themselves at his feet, and seemed in extasies
to serve him with the water. The mountain Ribni-
atan was seen to move its awful head; and as the
monarch drank, Nervami waved her hand over his
head in token of her satisfaction. In short, all these
concurring circumstances were looked upon as miracu-
lous prognosticks of future happiness, glory, peace and
plenty to his state.
CHAPTER VI.
My return Home and settling at Greenwich.
It was a good while before they could think of an
adequate punishment for the favourite and his ad-
herents. At last, after stripping them of all their
ill-got treasures, in imitation of the Roman punishment
of criminals, by throwing them from the Tarpeian
Rock, they were all cast head-long down from the
Mountain Ribniatan. Some were dashed to pieces
on the ground--others lodged in the cliffs, and
there pined to death-the favourite happened to stick
on the piece of a pointed rock like a spear, where he
expired in lingering torture, and remains exposed a
warning to future statesmen, and a sad spectacle to
travellers to this day.
After justice was satisfied, his Majesty repaired on
board in great good-humour with the patriots, who
knowing me, procured me a passage in one of the
men of war. We set sail with a fair wind, and right
glad I was of returning once more to my native
country. We scoured the seas as we came of pyrates,
guarda costas, and others. We called at several towns
on the coast of Old Spain, which we either burnt or
destroyed. Not a privateer was seen in the channel.
We landed safe at Greenwich, after three years absence
43
on my part, and found the nation in a tumult of joy
at our arrival. I had not been long ashore before I
came acquainted with a rich widow, the worthy relict
of an East-India captain. We struck up a match in
a few weeks; my owners, with whom I had made my
peace, were at the wedding. I live very happy, God
be praised, and am determined to make no more
voyages to Lethe.
FINIS.
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