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12/-A- ſ














The Kreutzer Sonata
BY
Count LEO TOLSToi
TRANSLATED BY
BENJ. R. TUCKER
FOURTH EDITION.
Boston, MAss.
BENJ. R. Tucker, PUBLISHER
1890

CopyRIGHT, 1890,
By BENJ. R. TucKER.
THE KREUTZER SONATA.
I.
TRAVELLERS left and entered our car at every
stopping of the train. Three persons, however,
remained, bound, like myself, for the farthest
station: a lady, neither young nor pretty, smok-
ing cigarettes, with a thin face, a cap on her head,
and wearing a semi-masculine outer garment;
then her companion, a very loguacious gentleman
of about forty years, with baggage entirely new
and arranged in an orderly manner; then a gen-
tleman who held himself entirely aloof, short
in stature, very nervous, of uncertain age, with
bright eyes, not pronounced in color, but ex-
tremely attractive, eyes that darted with rapid-
ity from one object to another. This gentleman,
during almost all the journey thus far, had en-
tered into conversation with no fellow-traveller,
as if he carefully avoided all acquaintance.
When spoken to, he answered curtly and deci-
sively, and began to look out of the car window
obstinately. -
Yet it seemed to me that the solitude weighed
upon him. He seemed to perceive that I under-
4 : The Kreuzger Sonata
stood this, and when our eyes met, as happened
frequently, since we were sitting almost opposite
each other, he turned away his head, and avoided
conversation with me as much as with the others.
At nightfall, during a stop at a large station, the
gentleman with the fine baggage—a lawyer, as I
have since learned —got out with his companion
to drink some tea at the restaurant. During their
absence several new travellers entered the car,
among whom was a tall old man, shaven and
wrinkled, evidently a merchant, wearing a large
heavily-lined cloak and a big cap. This mer-
chant sat down opposite the empty seats of the
lawyer and his companion, and straightway en-
tered into conversation with a young man who
seemed like an employee in some commercial
house, and who had likewise just boarded the
train. At first the clerk had remarked that the
seat opposite was occupied, and the old man had
answered that he should get out at the first
station. Thus their conversation started.
I was sitting not far from these two travellers,
and, as the train was not in motion, I could catch
bits of their conversation when others were not
talking.
They talked first of the prices of goods and
the condition of business; they referred to a per-
son whom they both knew ; then they plunged
into the fair at Nijni Novgorod. The clerk
boasted of knowing people who were leading
The Kreuzger Sozzafa. 5
a gay life there, but the old man did not allow
him to continue, and, interrupting him, began to
describe the festivities of the previous year at
Kounavino, in which he had taken part. He
was evidently proud of these recollections, and,
probably thinking that this would detract nothing
from the gravity which his face and manners
expressed, he related with pride how, when drunk,
he had fired, at Kounavino, such a broadside
that he could describe it only in the other's ear.
The clerk began to laugh noisily. The old
man laughed too, showing two long yellow teeth.
Their conversation not interesting me, I left the
car to stretch my legs. At the door I met the
lawyer and his lady. -
“You have no more time,” the lawyer said to
me. “The second bell is about to ring.”
Indeed I had scarcely reached the rear of the
train when the bell sounded. As I entered the
car again, the lawyer was talking with his com-
panion in an animated fashion. . The merchant,
sitting opposite them, was taciturn.
“And then she squarely declared to her hus-
band,” said the lawyer with a smile, as I passed
by them, “that she neither could nor would live
with him, because”. . . -
And he continued, but I did not hear the rest
of the sentence, my attention being distracted by
the passing of the conductor and a new traveller.
When silence was restored, I again heard the
6 The Kreutzer Sonata
lawyer's voice. The conversation had passed
from a special case to general considerations.
“And afterward comes discord, financial diffi-
culties, disputes between the two parties, and the
couple separate. In the good old days that sel-
'dom happened. Is it not so?” asked the lawyer
of the two merchants, evidently trying to drag
them into the conversation.
Just then the train started, and the old man,
without answering, took off his cap, and crossed
himself three times while muttering a prayer.
When he had finished, he clapped his cap far
down on his head, and said: -
“Yes, sir, that happened in former times also,
but not as often. In the present day it is bound
to happen more frequently. People have become
too learned.”
The lawyer made some reply to the old man,
but the train, ever increasing its speed, made
such a clatter upon the rails that I could no
longer hear distinctly. As I was interested in
what the old man was saying, I drew nearer.
My neighbor, the nervous gentleman, was evi-
dently interested also, and, without changing his
seat, he lent an ear. - -
“But what harm is there in education ?” asked
the lady, with a smile that was scarcely percepti-
ble. “Would it be better to marry as in the old
days, when the bride and bridegroom did not
even see each other before marriage?” she con-
The Kreutger Sonata 7.
tinued, answering, as is the habit of our ladies,
not the words that her interlocutor had spoken,
but the words she believed he was going to
speak. “Women did not know whether they
would love or would be loved, and they were
married to the first comer, and suffered all their
lives. Then you think it was better so 2° she
continued, evidently addressing the lawyer and
myself, and not at all the old man.
“People have become too learned,” repeated
the last, looking at the lady with contempt, and
leaving her question unanswered.
“I should be curious to know how you explain
the correlation between education and conjugal
differences,” said the lawyer, with a slight smile.
The merchant wanted to make some reply, but
the lady interrupted him.
“No, those days are past.”
The lawyer cut short her words:—
“Let him express his thought.”
“Because there is no more fear,” replied the
old man.
“But how will you marry people who do not
love each other? Only animals can be coupled
at the will of a proprietor. But people have in-
clinations, attachments,” the lady hastened to
say, casting a glance at the lawyer, at me, and
even at the clerk, who, standing up and leaning
his elbow on the back of a seat, was listening to
the conversation with a smile.
8 7%e Kreutzer Sonata
“You are wrong to say that, madam,” said the
old man. “The animals are beasts, but man has
received the law.”
“But, nevertheless, how is one to live with a
man when there is no love?” said the lady, evi-
dently excited by the general sympathy and at-
tention.
“Formerly no such distinctions were made,”
said the old man, gravely. “Only now have
they become a part of our habits. As soon as
the least thing happens, the wife says: “I release
you. I am going to leave your house.” Even
among the moujiks this fashion has become ac-
climated. “There,” she says, “here are your
shirts and drawers. I am going off with Vanka.
His hair is curlier than yours.’ Just go talk with
them. And yet the first rule for the wife should
be fear.”
The clerk looked at the lawyer, the lady, and
myself, evidently repressing a smile, and all
ready to deride or approve the merchant’s words,
according to the attitude of the others.
“What fear?” said the lady.
“This fear, the wife must fear her husband;
that is what fear.”
“Oh, that, my little father, that is ended.”
“No, madam, that cannot end. As she, Eve,
the woman, was taken from man’s ribs, so she
will remain unto the end of the world,” said the
old man, shaking his head so triumphantly and
The Kreutzer Sonata 9
so severely that the clerk, deciding that the vic-
tory was on his side, burst into a loud laugh.
“Yes, you men think so,” replied the lady,
without surrendering, and turning toward us.
“You have given yourself liberty. As for
woman, you wish to keep her in the seraglio.
To you, everything is permissible. Is it not so?”
“Oh, man,—that’s another affair.” " -
“Then, according to you, to man everything is
permissible P’’ -
“No one gives him this permission; only, if
the man behaves badly outside, the family is not
increased thereby; but the woman, the wife, is a
fragile vessel,” continued the merchant, severely.
His tone of authority evidently subjugated his
hearers. Even the lady felt crushed, but she
did not surrender.
“Yes, but you will admit, I think, that woman
is a human being, and has feelings like her hus-
band. What should she do if she does not love
her husband P’’ -
“If she does not love him 1" repeated the old
man, stormily, and knitting his brows; “why, she
will be made to love him.”
This unexpected argument pleased the clerk,
and he uttered a murmur of approbation.
“Oh, no, she will not be forced,” said the
lady. “Where there is no love, one cannot be
obliged to love in spite of herself.” -
“And if the wife deceives her husband, what
is to be done ** said the lawyer.
TO The Kreuzger Sonata
“That should not happen,” said the old man.
“He must have his eyes about him.”
“And if it does happen, all the same 2 You
will admit that it does happen?”
“It happens among the upper classes, not
among us,” answered the old man. “And if
any husband is found who is such a fool as not
to rule his wife, he will not have robbed her.
But no scandal, nevertheless. Love or not, but
do not disturb the household. Every husband
can govern his wife. He has the necessary.
power. It is only the imbecile who does not
succeed in doing so.” -
Everybody was silent. The clerk moved, ad-
vanced, and, not wishing to lag behind the others
in the conversation, began, with his eternal
smile :
“Yes, in the house of our employer, a scandal
has arisen, and it is very difficult to view the
matter clearly. The wife loved to amuse herself,
and began to go astray. He is a capable and
serious man. First, it was with the book-keeper.
The husband tried to bring her back to reason
through kindness. She did not change her con-
duct. She plunged into all sorts of beastliness.
She began to steal his money. He beat her,
but she grew worse and worse. To an unbap-
tized, to a pagan, to a Jew (saving your permis-
sion), she went in succession for her caresses.
What could the employer do? He has dropped
The Kreutger Somata II
her entirely, and now he lives as a bachelor. As
for her, she is dragging in the depths.”
“He is an imbecile,” said the old man. “If
from the first he had not allowed her to go
in her own fashion, and had kept a firm hand
upon her, she would be living honestly, no
danger. Liberty must be taken away from the
beginning. Do not trust yourself to your horse
upon the highway. Do not trust yourself to
your wife at home.”
At that moment the conductor passed, asking
for the tickets for the next station. The old man
gave up his.
“Yes, the feminine sex must be dominated in
season, else all will perish.”
“And you yourselves, at Kounavino, did you
not lead a gay life with the pretty girls P’’ asked
the lawyer with a smile.
“Oh, that’s another matter,” said the mer-
chant, severely. “Good-by,” he added, rising.
He wrapped himself in his cloak, lifted his cap,
and, taking his bag, left the car.
II.
SCARCELY had the old man gone when a gen-
eral conversation began.
“There's a little Old Testament father for
you,” said the clerk.
I 2 7%e Kreuzger Somaža
“He is a Domostroy,” “ said the lady. “What
savage ideas about woman and marriage l’’
“Yes, gentlemen,” said the lawyer, “we are
still a long way from the European ideas upon
marriage. First, the rights of woman, then free
marriage, then divorce, as a question not yet
solved.” . . .
“The main thing, and the thing which such
people as he do not understand,” rejoined the
lady, “is that only love consecrates marriage,
and that the real marriage is that which is con-
secrated by love.”
The clerk listened and smiled, with the air of
one accustomed to store in his memory all intelli-
gent conversation that he hears, in order to make
use of it afterwards.
“But what is this love that consecrates mar-
riage 2" said, suddenly, the voice of the nervous
and taciturn gentleman, who, unnoticed by us,
had approached.
He was standing with his hand on the seat,
and evidently agitated. His face was red, a
vein in his forehead was swollen, and the mus-
cles of his cheeks quivered. -
“What is this love that consecrates marriage 2 ”
he repeated.
“What love?” said the lady. “The ordinary
love of husband and wife.” - •
“And how, then, can ordinary love consecrate
*The Domostroy is a matrimonial code of the days of Ivan the
Terrible.
The Kreuzger Somata I 3
marriage P’’ continued the nervous gentleman,
still excited, and with a displeased air. He
seemed to wish to say something disagreeable to
the lady. She felt it, and began to grow agi-
tated. -
“How * Why, very simply,” said she. y
The nervous gentleman seized the word as it
left her lips. - -
“No, not simply.”
“Madam says,” interceded the lawyer, indicat-
ing his companion, “that marriage should be
first the result of an attachment, of a love, if you
will, and that, when love exists, and in that case
only, marriage represents something sacred. But
every marriage which is not based on a natural
attachment, on love, has in it nothing that is
morally obligatory. Is not that the idea that you
intended to convey " he asked the lady.
The lady, with a nod of her head, expressed
her approval of this translation of her thoughts.
“Then,” resumed the lawyer, continuing his
remarks.
But the nervous gentleman, evidently scarcely
able to contain himself, without allowing the
lawyer to finish, asked: -
“Yes, sir. But what are we to understand by
this love that alone consecrates marriage 2"
“Everybody knows what love is,” said the
lady.
“But I don’t know, and I should like to know
how you define it.”
I4. The Kreutger Somaža.
“How It is very simple,” said the lady.
And she seemed thoughtful, and then said:
“Love . . . love . . . is a preference for one
man or one woman to the exclusion of all
others . . . . .”
“A preference for how long?... For a month,
two days, or half an hour?” said the nervous
gentleman, with special irritation.
“No, permit me, you evidently are not talking
of the same thing.”
“Yes, I am talking absolutely of the same
thing. Of the preference for one man, or one
woman to the exclusion of all others. But I ask:
a preference for how long?”
“For how long? For a long time, for a life-
time sometimes.” -
“But that happens only in novels. In life,
never. In life this preference for one to the
exclusion of all others lasts in rare cases several
years, oftener several months, or even weeks,
days, hours. . . .”
“Oh, sir. Oh, no, no, permit me,” said all
three of us at the same time.
The clerk himself uttered a monosyllable of
disapproval.
“Yes, I know,” he said, shouting louder than
all of us; “you are talking of what is believed to
exist, and I am talking of what is. Every man
feels what you call love toward each pretty
woman he sees, and very little toward his wife.
7%e Kreuzge? Somaža I5
That is the origin of the proverb, and it is a
true one,— ‘Another’s wife is a white swan, and
ours is bitter wormwood.’” -
“Ah, but what you say is terrible ! There
certainly exists among human beings this feeling
which is called love, and which lasts, not for
months and years, but for life.”
“No, that does not exist. Even if it should
be admitted that Menelaus had preferred Helen
all his life, Helen would have preferred Paris;
and so it has been, is, and will be eternally.
And it cannot be otherwise, just as it cannot
happen that, in a load of chick-peas, two peas
marked with a special sign should fall side by
side. Further, this is not only an improbability,
but it is certain that a feeling of satiety will come
to Helen or to Menelaus. The whole difference
is that to one it comes sooner, to the other later.
It is only in stupid novels that it is written that
“they loved each other all their lives.” And none
but children can believe it. To talk of loving a
man or woman for life is like saying that a candle
can burn forever.” -
“But you are talking of physical love. Do
you not admit a love based upon a conformity of
ideals, on a spiritual affinity ?”
“Why not? But in that case it is not neces-
sary to procreate together (excuse my brutality).
The point is that this conformity of ideals is not
met among old people, but among young and
I6 The Kreutger Sonata
?
pretty persons,” said he, and he began to laugh
disagreeably. “Yes, I affirm that love, real love,
does not consecrate marriage, as we are in the
habit of believing, but that, on the contrary, it
ruins it.”
“Permit me,” said the lawyer. “The facts con-
tradict your words. We see that marriage exists,
that all humanity — at least the larger portion —
lives conjugally, and that many husbands and
wives honestly end a long life together.”
The nervous gentleman smiled ill-naturedly.
“And what then You say that marriage is
based upon love, and when I give voice to a
doubt as to the existence of any other love than
sensual love, you prove to me the existence of
love by marriage. But in our day marriage is
only a violence and falsehood.”
“No, pardon me,” said the lawyer. “I say
only that marriages have existed and do exist.”
“But how and why do they exist? They have
existed, and they do exist, for people who have
seen, and do see, in marriage something sacra-
mental, a sacrament that is binding before God.
For such people marriages exist, but to us they
are only hypocrisy and violence. We feel it, and,
to clear ourselves, we preach free love; but,
really, to preach free love is only a call backward
to the promiscuity of the sexes (excuse me, he
said to the lady), the haphazard sin of certain
raskolniks. The old foundation is shattered;
The Krezzºger Sozzata 17
we must build a new one, but we must not preach
debaucºxlery.”
He grew so warm that all became silent, look-
ing at him in astonishment. *:
“And yet the transition state is terrible. Peo-
ple feel that haphazard sin is inadmissible. It is
necessary in some way or other to regulate the
sexual relations; but there exists no other foun-
dation than the old one, in which nobody longer
believes? People marry in the old fashion, with-
out believing in what they do, and the result is
falsehood, violence. When it is falsehood alone,
it is easily endured. The husband and wife
simply deceive the world by professing to live
monogamically. If they really are polygamous
and polyandrous, it is bad, but acceptable. But
when, as often happens, the husband and the wife
have taken upon themselves the obligation to live
together all their lives (they themselves do not
know why), and from the second month have
already a desire to separate, but continue to live
together just the same, then comes that infernal
existence in which they resort to drink, in which
they fire revolvers, in which they assassinate each
other, in which they poison each other.”
All were silent, but we felt ill at ease. *
“Yes, these critical episodes happen in marital
life. For instance, there is the Posdnicheff
affair,” said the lawyer, wishing to stop the con-
versation on this embarrassing and too exciting
I8 The Kreutge? Somaža
ground. “Have you read how he killed his wife
through jealousy 2 ” s.
The lady said that she had not read it. The
nervous gentleman said nothing, and changed
color.
“I see that you have divined who I am,” said
he, suddenly, after a pause.
“No, I have not had that pleasure.”
“It is no great pleasure. I am Posdnicheff.”
New silence. He blushed, then turned pale
again. -
“What matters it, however ?” said he, “Ex-
cuse me, I do not wish to embarrass you.”
And he resumed his old seat.
III.
I RESUMED mine, also. The lawyer and the .
lady whispered together. I was sitting beside
Posdnicheff, and I maintained silence. I desired
to talk to him, but I did not know how to begin,
and thus an hour passed until we reached the
next station. There the lawyer and the lady
went out, as well as the clerk. We were left
alone, Posdnicheff and I.
“They say it, and they lie, or they do not
understand,” said Posdnicheff.
“Of what are you talking?”
The Kreußer Sonata I9
“Why, still the same thing.”
He leaned his elbows upon his knees, and
pressed his hands against his temples.
“Love, marriage, family,– all lies, lies, lies.”
He rose, lowered the lamp-shade, lay down
with his elbows on the cushion, and closed his
eyes. He remained thus for a minute.
“Is it disagreeable to you to remain with me,
now that you know who I am 7”
“Oh, no.”
“You have no desire to sleep ’’’
“Not at all.” -
“Then do you want me to tell you the story of
my life?”
Just then the conductor passed. He followed
him with an ill-natured look, and did not begin
until he had gone again. Then during all the
rest of the story he did not stop once. Even the
new travellers as they entered did not stop him.
His face, while he was talking, changed sev-
eral times so completely that it bore positively
no resemblance to itself as it had appeared just
before. His eyes, his mouth, his moustache, and
even his beard, all were new. Each time it was
a beautiful and touching physiognomy, and these
transformations were produced suddenly in the
penumbra ; and for five minutes it was the same
face, that could not be compared to that of five
minutes before. And then, I know not how, it
changed again, and became unrecognizable.
2O The Kreuzger Sonata
IV.
“WELL, I am going then to tell you my life,
and my whole frightful history, yes, frightful.
And the story itself is more frightful than the
outcome.”
He became silent for a moment, passed his
hands over his eyes, and began : —
“To be understood clearly, the whole must be
told from the beginning. It must be told how
and why I married, and what I was before my
marriage. First, I will tell you who I am. The
son of a rich gentleman of the steppes, an old
marshal of the nobility, I was a University pupil,
a graduate of the law school. I married in my
thirtieth year. But before talking to you of my
marriage, I must tell you how I lived formerly,
and what ideas I had of conjugal life. I led the
life of so many other so-called respectable peo-
ple, that is, in debauchery. And like the
majority, while leading the life of a débauché, I
was convinced that I was a man of irreproach-
able morality.
“The idea that I had of my morality arose
from the fact that in my family there was no
knowledge of those special debaucheries, so com-
mon in the surroundings of land-owners, and also
from the fact that my father and my mother did
not deceive each other. In consequence of this,


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The Kreuzger Sonata 23
being, organized otherwise than man, and how
this being and man ought to view the wife. . . .
V.
“YEs: for ten years I lived the most revolt-
ing existence, while dreaming of the noblest love,
and even in the name of that love. Yes, I want
to tell you how I killed my wife, and for that
I must tell you how I debauched myself. I
killed her before I knew her. I killed the wife
when I first tasted sensual joys without love, and
then it was that I killed my wife. Yes, sir: it is
only after having suffered, after having tortured
myself, that I have come to understand the root
of things, that I have come to understand my
crimes. Thus you will see where and how began
the drama that has led me to misfortune.
“It is necessary to go back to my sixteenth
year, when I was still at school, and my elder
brother a first-year student. I had not yet known
women; but, like all the unfortunate children of
our Society, I was already no longer innocent. I
was tortured, as you were, I am sure, and as are
tortured ninety-nine one-hundredths of our boys.
I lived in a frightful dread, I prayed to God, and
I prostrated myself.
“I was already perverted in imagination, but
24 The Kreutger Somaža
the last steps remained to be taken. I could
still escape, when a friend of my brother, a very
gay student, one of those who are called good
fellows, that is, the greatest of scamps, and
who had taught us to drink and play cards, took
advantage of a night of intoxication to drag us
THERE. We started. My brother, as innocent
as I, fell that night, and I, a mere lad of sixteen,
polluted myself and helped to pollute a sister-
woman, without understanding what I did. Never
had I heard from my elders that what I thus did
was bad. It is true that there are the ten com-
mandments of the Bible; but the commandments
are made only to be recited before the priests at
examinations, and even then are not as exacting
as the commandments in regard to the use of ut
in conditional propositions.
“Thus from my elders, whose opinion I
esteemed, I had never heard that this was rep-
rehensible. On the contrary, I had heard people
whom I respected say that it was good. I had
heard that my struggles and my sufferings would
be appeased after this act. I had heard it and
read it. I had heard from my elders that it was
excellent for the health, and my friends have
always seemed to believe that it contained I
know not what merit and valor. So nothing is
seen 1n it but what is praiseworthy. As for the
danger of disease, it is a foreseen danger. Does
not the government guard against it? And even
science corrupts us.”
7%e Kreutzer Somata. 25.
“How so, science P’” I asked.
“Why, the doctors, the pontiffs of science.
Who pervert young people by laying down such
rules of hygiene Who pervert women by devis-
ing and teaching them ways by which not to have
children P
“Yes: if only a hundredth of the efforts spent
in curing diseases were spent in curing debauch-
ery, disease would long ago have ceased to exist,
whereas now all efforts are employed, not in extir-
pating debauchery, but in favoring it, by assuring
the harmlessness of the consequences. Besides,
it is not a question of that. It is a question of
this frightful thing that has happened to me, as
it happens to nine-tenths, if not more, not only of
the men of our society, but of all societies, even
peasants, this frightful thing that I had fallen,
and not because I was subjected to the natural
seduction of a certain woman. No, no woman
seduced me. I fell because the surroundings in
which I found myself saw in this degrading thing
only a legitimate function, useful to the health;
because others saw in it simply a natural amuse-
ment, not only excusable, but even innocent in a
young man. I did not understand that it was a
fall, and I began to give myself to those pleas-
ures (partly from desire and partly from necessity)
which I was led to believe were characteristic of
my age, just as I had begun to drink and smoke.
“And yet there was in this first fall something
26 The Kreuzger Sozzafa.
peculiar and touching. I remember that straight-
way I was filled with such a profound sadness
that I had a desire to weep, to weep over the loss
forever of my relations with woman. Yes, my re-
lations with woman were lost forever. Pure rela-
tions with women, from that time forward, I
could no longer have. I had become what is
called a voluptuary; and to be a voluptuary is a
physical condition like the condition of a victim
of the morphine habit, of a drunkard, and of a
Smoker. - -
“Just as the victim of the morphine habit, the
drunkard, the smoker, is no longer a normal man,
so the man who has known several women for
his pleasure is no longer normal He is abnor-
mal forever. He is a voluptuary. Just as the
drunkard and the victim of the morphine habit
may be recognized by their face and manner, so
we may recognize a voluptuary. He may repress
himself and struggle, but nevermore will he enjoy
simple, pure, and fraternal relations toward
woman. By his way of glancing at a young
woman one may at once recognize a voluptuary;
and I became a voluptuary, and I have remained
On 6.
The Kreutzer Sonata 27
VI.
“YES, so it is ; and that went farther and
farther with all sorts of variations. My God I
when I remember all my cowardly acts and bad
deeds, I am frightened. And I remember that
‘me’ who, during that period, was still the butt
of his comrades’ ridicule on account of his inno-
CenCe.
“And when I hear people talk of the gilded
youth, of the officers, of the ‘Parisians, and all
these gentlemen, and myself, living wild lives at
the age of thirty, and who have on our con-
sciences hundreds of crimes toward women, terri-
ble and varied, when we enter a parlor or a ball-
room, washed, shaven, and perfumed, with very
white linen, in dress coats or in uniform, as em-
blems of purity, oh, the disgust There will
surely come a time, an epoch, when all these
lives and all this cowardice will be unveiled !
“So, nevertheless, I lived, until the age of
thirty, without abandoning for a minute my in-
tention of marrying, and building an elevated
conjugal life; and with this in view I watched all
young girls who might suit me. I was buried in
rottenness, and at the same time I looked for
virgins, whose purity was worthy of me ! Many
of them were rejected: they did not seem to me
pure enough !
28 The Kreutzer Sonata
“Finally I found one that I considered on a
level with myself. She was one of two daughters
of a landed proprietor in Penza, formerly very
rich and since ruined. To tell the truth, without
false modesty, they pursued me and finally capt-
ured me. The mother (the father was away)
laid all sorts of traps, and one of these, a trip
in a boat, decided my future.
“I made up my mind at the end of the afore-
said trip one night, by moonlight, on our way
home, while I was sitting beside her. I admired
her slender body, whose charming shape was
moulded by a jersey, and her curling hair, and I
suddenly concluded that this was she. It seemed
to me on that beautiful evening that she under-
stood all that I thought and felt, and I thought
and felt the most elevated things.
“Really, it was only the jersey that was so
becoming to her, and her curly hair, and also the
fact that I had spent the day beside her, and that
I desired a more intimate relation.
“I returned home enthusiastic, and I persuaded
myself that she realized the highest perfection,
and that for that reason she was worthy to be my
wife, and the next day I made to her a proposal
of marriage.
“No, say what you will, we live in such an
abyss of falsehood that, unless some event strikes
us a blow on the head, as in my case, we cannot
awaken. What confusion | Out of the thousands
The Krezzºger Somaža 29
of men who marry, not only among us, but also
among the people, scarcely will you find a single
one who has not previously married at least ten
times. (It is true that there now exist, at least
so I have heard, pure young people who feel and
know that this is not a joke, but a serious matter.
May God come to their aid But in my time
there was not to be found one such in a thou-
sand.)
“And all know it, and pretend not to know it.
In all the novels are described down to the
smallest details the feelings of the characters,
the lakes and brambles around which they walk;
but, when it comes to describing their great love,
not a word is breathed of what He, the interest-
ing character, has previously done, not a word
about his frequenting of disreputable houses, or
his association with nursery-maids, cooks, and
the wives of others.
“And if anything is said of these things, such
improper novels are not allowed in the hands of
young girls. All men have the air of believing,
in presence of maidens, that these corrupt pleas-
ures, in which everybody takes part, do not exist,
or exist only to a very small extent. They pre-
tend it so carefully that they succeed in convinc-
ing themselves of it. As for the poor young
girls, they believe it quite seriously, just as my
poor wife believed it.
“I remember that, being already engaged, I
3O The Kreutger Sonata
showed her my ‘memoirs,’ from which she could
learn more or less of my past, and especially my
last liaison, which she might perhaps have dis-
covered through the gossip of some third party.
It was for this last reason, for that matter, that
I felt the necessity of communicating these me-
moirs to her. I can still see her fright, her des-
pair, her bewilderment, when she had learned and
understood it. She was on the point of breaking
the engagement. What a lucky thing it would
have been for both of us ! ”
Posdnicheff was silent for a moment, and then
resumed : —
“After all, no It is better that things hap-
pened as they did, better l’’ he cried. “It was a
good thing for me. Besides, it makes no differ-
ence. I was saying that in these cases it is the
poor young girls who are deceived. As for the
mothers, the mothers especially, informed by
their husbands, they know all, and, while pre-
tending to believe in the purity of the young
man, they act as if they did not believe in it.
“They know what bait must be held out to
people for themselves and their daughters. We
men sin through ignorance, and a determination
not to learn. As for the women, they know very
well that the noblest and most poetic love, as we
call it, depends, not on moral qualities, but on
the physical intimacy, and also on the manner
of doing the hair, and the color and shape of the
dress.
7%e Kreutger Sonata. 3 I
“Ask an experienced coquette, who has under-
taken to seduce a man, which she would prefer,
— to be convicted, in presence of the man whom
she is engaged in conquering, of falsehood, per-
versity, cruelty, or to appear before him in an
ill-fitting dress, or a dress of an unbecoming
color. She will prefer the first alternative. She
knows very well that we simply lie when we talk
of our elevated sentiments, that we seek only the
possession of her body, and that because of that
we will forgive her every sort of baseness, but
will not forgive her a costume of an ugly shade,
without taste or fit.
“And these things she knows by reason,
whereas the maiden knows them only by instinct,
like the animal. Hence these abominable jer-
seys, these artificial humps on the back, these
bare shoulders, arms, and throats.
“Women, especially those who have passed
through the school of marriage, know very well
that conversations upon elevated subjects are
only conversations, and that man seeks and de-
sires the body and all that ornaments the body.
Consequently, they act accordingly If we re-
ject conventional explanations, and view the life
of our upper and lower classes as it is, with all
its shamelessness, it is only a vast perversity.
You do not share this opinion ? Permit me, I
am going to prove it to you (said he, interrupting
me).
32 The Kreutzer Sonata
“You say that the women of our society live
for a different interest from that which actuates
fallen women. And I say no, and I am going
to prove it to you. If beings differ from one
another according to the purpose of their life,
according to their inner life, this will necessarily
be reflected also in their outer life, and their ex-
terior will be very different. Well, then, com-
pare the wretched, the despised, with the women
of the highest society: the same dresses, the
same fashions, the same perfumeries, the same
passion for jewelry, for brilliant and very expen-
sive articles, the same amusements, dances
music, and songs. The former attract by all
possible means; so do the latter. No difference,
none whatever !
“Yes, and I, too, was captivated by jerseys,
bustles, and curly hair.
VII.
“AND it was very easy to capture me, since
I was brought up under artificial conditions, like
cucumbers in a hothouse. Our too abundant
nourishment, together with complete physical idle-
ness, is nothing but systematic excitement of the
imagination. The men of our society are fed and
kept like reproductive stallions. It is sufficient
The Krezz/gºr Sozzafa. 33
to close the valve, that is, for a young man to
live a quiet life for some time, to produce as
an immediate result a restlessness, which, becom-
ing exaggerated by reflection through the prism
of our unnatural life, provokes the illusion of
love.
“All our idyls and marriage, all, are the result
for the most part of our eating. Does that aston-
ish you? For my part, I am astonished that we
do not see it. Not far from my estate this
spring some moujiks were working on a railway
embankment. You know what a peasant’s food
is, bread, kvass,” onions. With this frugal
nourishment he lives, he is alert, he makes light
work in the fields. But on the railway this bill
of fare becomes cacha and a pound of meat.
Only he restores this meat by sixteen hours of
labor, pushing loads weighing twelve hundred
pounds.
“And we, who eat two pounds of meat and
game, we who absorb all sorts of heating drinks
and food, how do we expend it In sensual ex-
cesses. If the valve is open, all goes well; but
Elose it, as I had closed it temporarily before my
marriage, and immediately there will result an
excitement which, deformed by novels, verses,
wnusic, by our idle and luxurious life, will give a
\ove of the finest water. I, too, fell in love, as
everybody does, and there were transports, emo-
liotis, poesy; but really all this passion was pre-
* Kvass, a sort of cider.
34 7%e Kreutger Sozzafa
pared by mamma and the dressmakers. If there
had been no trips in boats, no well-fitted gar-
ments, etc., if my wife had worn some shapeless
blouse, and I had seen her thus at her home,
I should not have been seduced.
VIII.
“AND note, also, this falsehood, of which all
are guilty; the way in which marriages are made.
What could there be more natural? The young
girl is marriageable, she should marry. What
simpler, provided the young person is not a
monster, and men can be found with a desire to
marry Well, no, here begins a new hypocrisy.
“Formerly, when the maiden arrived at a
favorable age, her marriage was arranged by her
parents. That was done, that is done still,
throughout humanity, among the Chinese, the
Hindoos, the Mussulmen, and among our com-
mon people also. Things are so managed in at
least ninety-nine per cent. of the families of the
entire human race. -
“Only we riotous livers have imagined that
this way was bad, and have invented another.
And this other, what is it? It is this. The
young girls are seated, and the gentlemen walk
up and down before them, as in a bazaar, and
The Kreutger Somata 35
make their choice. The maidens wait and think,
but do not dare to say: ‘Take me, young man,
me and not her. Look at these shoulders and
the rest.” We males walk up and down, and
estimate the merchandise, and then we discourse
upon the rights of woman, upon the liberty that
she acquires, I know not how, in the theatrical
halls.”
“But what is to be done P’’ said I to him.
“Shall the woman make the advances * *
“I do not know. But, if it is a question of
equality, let the equality be complete. Though
it has been found that to contract marriages
through the agency of match-makers is humiliat-
ing, it is nevertheless a thousand times preferable
to our system. There the rights and the chances
are equal ; here the woman is a slave, exhibited
in the market. But as she cannot bend to her
condition, or make advances herself, there begins
that other and more abominable lie which is
sometimes called going into society, sometimes
amusing one's self, and which is really nothing but
the hunt for a husband.
“But say to a mother or to her daughter that
they are engaged only in a hunt for a husband.
God I What an offence 1 Yet they can do
nothing else, and have nothing else to do; and
the terrible feature of it all is to see sometimes
very young, poor, and innocent maidens haunted
solely by such ideas. If only, I repeat, it were
36 The Kreutger Sonata
done frankly; but it is always accompanied with
lies and babble of this sort: —
“Ah, the descent of species How interest-
ing it is l’
“‘Oh, Lily is much interested in painting.’
“‘Shall you go to the Exposition ? How
charming it is l’
“‘And the troika, and the plays, and the sym-
phony. Ah, how adorable !’
“‘My Lise is passionately fond of music.’
“And you, why do you not share these con-
victions * *
“And through all this verbiage, all have but
one single idea: ‘Take me, take my Lise. No,
me! Only try l’
IX.
“Do you know,” suddenly continued Posd-
nicheff, “that this power of women from which
the world suffers arises solely from what I have
just spoken of P*
“What do you mean by the power of women?”
I said. “Everybody, on the contrary, complains
that women have not sufficient rights, that they
are in subjection.”
“That's it; that's it exactly,” said he, viva-
ciously. “That is just what I mean, and that is
the explanation of this extraordinary phenom-
The Kreuzger Somaža 37
enon, that on the one hand woman is reduced to
the lowest degree of humiliation, and on the other
hand she reigns over everything. See the Jews:
with their power of money, they avenge their sub-
jection, just as the women do. “Ah you wish
us to be only merchants All right; remaining
merchants, we will get possession of you,’ say the
Jews. ‘Ah you wish us to be only objects of
sensuality ? All right; by the aid of sensuality
we will bend you beneath our yoke,” say the
WOII en.
“The absence of the rights of woman does not
consist in the fact that she has not the right to
vote, or the right to sit on the bench, but in the
fact that in her affectional relations she is not
the equal of man, she has not the right to ab-
stain, to choose instead of being chosen. You
say that that would be abnormal. Very well!
But then do not let man enjoy these rights, while
his companion is deprived of them, and finds her-
self obliged to make use of the coquetry by which
she governs, so that the result is that man chooses
“formally,’ whereas really it is woman who chooses.
As soon as she is in possession of her means, she
abuses them, and acquires a terrible supremacy.”
“But where do you see this exceptional
power P’’
“Where * Why, everywhere, in everything.
Go see the stores in the large cities. There are
millions there, millions. It is impossible to esti-
38 7%e Kreuzger Sozzafa.
mate the enormous quantity of labor that is ex-
pended there. In nine-tenths of these stores is
there anything whatever for the use of men 2 All
the luxury of life is demanded and sustained by
woman. Count the factories; the greater part
of them are engaged in making feminine orna-
ments. Millions of men, generations of slaves,
die toiling like convicts simply to satisfy the
whims of our companions.
“Women, like queens, keep nine-tenths of the
human race as prisoners of war, or as prisoners
at hard labor. And all this because they have
been humiliated, because they have been de-
prived of rights equal to those which men enjoy.
They take revenge for our sensuality; they catch
us in their nets.
“Yes, the whole thing is there. Women have
made of themselves such a weapon to act upon
the senses that a young man, and even an old
man, cannot remain tranquil in their presence.
Watch a popular festival, or our receptions or
ball-rooms. Woman well knows her influence
there. You will see it in her triumphant smiles.
“As soon as a young man advances toward a
woman, directly he falls under the influence of
this opium, and loses his head. Long ago I felt
ill at ease when I saw a woman too well adorned,
—whether a woman of the people with her red
neckerchief and her looped skirt, or a woman of
our own society in her ball-room dress. But now
The Kreuzger Sonata 39
it simply terrifies me. I see in it a danger to
men, something contrary to the laws; and I feel
a desire to call a policeman, to appeal for defence
from some quarter, to demand that this dangerous
object be removed.
“And this is not a joke, by any means. I am
convinced, I am sure, that the time will come —
and perhaps it is not far distant—when the
world will understand this, and will be aston-
ished that a society could exist in which actions
as harmful as those which appeal to sensuality
by adorning the body as our companions do were
allowed. As well set traps along our public
streets, or worse than that.
X.
“THAT, then, was the way in which I was
captured. I was in love, as it is called ; not only
did she appear to me a perfect being, but I con-
sidered myself a white blackbird. It is a com-
monplace fact that there is no one so low in the
world that he cannot find some one viler than
himself, and consequently puff with pride and
self-contentment. I was in that situation. I did
not marry for money. Interest was foreign to
the affair, unlike the marriages of most of my
acquaintances, who married either for money or
4O The Kreuzger Somaža
for relations. First, I was rich, she was poor.
Second, I was especially proud of the fact that,
while others married with an intention of con-
tinuing their polygamic life as bachelors, it was
my firm intention to live monogamically after my
engagement and the wedding, and my pride
swelled immeasurably.
“Yes, I was a wretch, convinced that I was
an angel. The period of my engagement did not
last long. I cannot remember those days with-
out shame. What an abomination
“It is generally agreed that love is a moral
sentiment, a community of thought rather than
of sense. If that is the case, this community of
thought ought to find expression in words and
conversation. Nothing of the sort. It was ex-
tremely difficult for us to talk with each other.
What a toil of Sisyphus was our conversation
Scarcely had we thought of something to say, and
said it, when we had to resume our silence and
try to discover new subjects. Literally, we did
not know what to say to each other. All that we
could think of concerning the life that was before
us and our home was said.
“And then what? If we had been animals,
we should have known that we had not to talk.
But here, on the contrary, it was necessary to
talk, and there were no resources ! For that
which occupied our minds was not a thing to be
expressed in words.
The Kreutger Somala 4 I
“And then that silly custom of eating bonbons,
that brutal gluttony for sweetmeats, those abom-
inable preparations for the wedding, those dis-
cussions with mamma upon the apartments, upon
the sleeping-rooms, upon the bedding, upon the
morning-gowns, upon the wrappers, the linen,
the costumes | Understand that if people mar-
ried according to the old fashion, as this old man
said just now, then these eider-down coverlets
and this bedding would all be sacred details; but
with us, out of ten married people there is
scarcely to be found one who, I do not say be-
lieves in sacraments (whether he believes or not
is a matter of indifference to us), but believes in
what he promises. Out of a hundred men, there
is scarcely one who has not married before, and
out of fifty scarcely one who has not made up his
mind to deceive his wife. *
“The great majority look upon this journey
to the church as a condition necessary to the
possession of a certain woman. Think then of
the supreme significance which material details
must take on. Is it not a sort of sale, in which
a maiden is given over to a débauché, the sale
being surrounded with the most agreeable de-
tails :
42 The Kreutzer Sonata
XI.
“ALL marry in this way. And I did like the
rest. If the young people who dream of the
honeymoon only knew what a disillusion it is,
and always a disillusion I really do not know
why all think it necessary to conceal it.
“One day I was walking among the shows in
Paris, when, attracted by a sign, I entered an
establishment to see a bearded woman and a
water-dog. The woman was a man in disguise,
and the dog was an ordinary dog, covered with
a sealskin, and Swimming in a bath. It was not
in the least interesting, but the Barnum accom-
panied me to the exit very courteously, and, in
addressing the people who were coming in, made
an appeal to my testimony. “Ask the gentleman
if it is not worth seeing ! Come in, come in It
only costs a franc l’ And in my confusion I did
not dare to answer that there was nothing curious
to be seen, and it was upon my false shame that
the Barnum must have counted.
“It must be the same with the persons who
have passed through the abominations of the
honeymoon. They do not dare to undeceive
their neighbor. And I did the same.
“The felicities of the honeymoon do not exist.
On the contrary, it is a period of uneasiness, of
shame, of pity, and, above all, of ennui, of
The Kreutger Somata 43
ferocious ennui. It is something like the feeling
of a youth when he is beginning to smoke. He
desires to vomit; he drivels, and swallows his
drivel, pretending to enjoy this little amusement.
The vice of marriage ". . .
“What! Vice 3’” I said. “But you are talk-
ing of one of the most natural things.”
“Naturall ” said he. “Natural | No, I con-
sider on the contrary that it is against nature,
and it is I, a perverted man, who have reached
this conviction. What would it be, then, if I had
not known corruption ? To a young girl, to
every unperverted young girl, it is an act ex-
tremely unnatural, just as it is to children. My
sister married, when very young, a man twice her
own age, and who was utterly corrupt. I remem-
ber how astonished we were the night of her
wedding, when, pale and covered with tears, she
fled from her husband, her whole body trembling,
saying that for nothing in the world would she
tell what he wanted of her.
“You say natural It is natural to eat ; that
is a pleasant, agreeable function, which no one
is ashamed to perform from the time of his birth.
No, it is not natural. A pure young girl wants
one thing, children. Children, yes, not a
lover.” . . . -
“But,” said I, with astonishment, “how would
the human race continue 2 ” -
“But what is the use of its continuing?” he
rejoined, vehemently.
44 The Kreutger Sonata
“What I What is the use 2 But then we
should not exist.”
“And why is it necessary that we should
exist P* -
“Why, to live, to be sure.”
“And why live 2 The Schopenhauers, the
Hartmanns, and all the Buddhists, say that the
greatest happiness is Nirvana, Non-Life ; and
they are right in this sense, that human happi-
ness is coincident with the annihilation of ‘Self.”
Only they do not express themselves well. They
say that Humanity should annihilate itself to
avoid its sufferings, that its object should be to
destroy itself. Now the object of Humanity
cannot be to avoid sufferings by annihilation,
since suffering is the result of activity. The
object of activity cannot consist in suppressing
its consequences. The object of Man, as of Hu-
manity, is happiness, and, to attain it, Humanity
has a law which it must carry out. This law con-
sists in the union of beings. This union is
thwarted by the passions. And that is why, if
the passions disappear, the union will be accom-
plished. Humanity then will have carried out
the law, and will have no further reason to
exist.” -
“And before Humanity carries out the law ”
“In the meantime it will have the sign of the
unfulfilled law, and the existence of physical love.
As long as this love shall exist, and because of
The Kreutger Sonata - 45.
it, generations will be born, one of which will
finally fulfil the law. When at last the law shall
be fulfilled, the Human Race will be annihilated.
At least, it is impossible for us to conceive of
Life in the perfect union of people.”
|XII.
“STRANGE theory !” cried I.
“Strange in what P According to all the doc-
trines of the Church, the world will have an end.
Science teaches the same fatal conclusion. Why,
then, is it strange that the same thing should
result from moral Doctrine P ‘Let those who
can, contain,” said Christ. And I take this pas-
sage literally, as it is written. That morality
may exist between people in their worldly rela-
tions, they must make complete chastity their
object. In tending toward this end, man humili-
ates himself. When he shall reach the last
degree of humiliation, we shall have moral mar-
riage. - -
“But if man, as in our society, tends only
toward physical love, though he may clothe it
with pretexts and the false forms of marriage, he
will have only permissible debauchery, he will
know only the same immoral life in which I fell
and caused my wife to fall, a life which we call
46 The Å reuzger Sonata
the honest life of the family. Think what a per-
version of ideas must arise when the happiest
situation of man, liberty, chastity, is looked upon
as something wretched and ridiculous. The
highest ideal, the best situation of woman, to be
pure, to be a vestal, a virgin, excites fear and
laughter in our society. How many, how many
young girls sacrifice their purity to this Moloch
of opinion by marrying rascals that they may
not remain virgins,— that is, superiors | Through
fear of finding themselves in that ideal state, they
ruin themselves.
“But I did not understand formerly, I did not
understand that the words of the Gospel, that “he
who looks upon a woman io lust after her has
already committed adultery,’ do not apply to the
wives of others, but notably and especially to
our own wives. I did not understand this, and
I thought that the honeymoon and all of my acts
during that period were virtuous, and that to
satisfy one's desires with his wife is an eminently
chaste thing. Know, then, that I consider these
departures, these isolations, which young married
couples arrange with the permission of their
parents, as nothing else than a license to engage
in debauchery. - -
“I saw, then, in this nothing bad or shameful,
and, hoping for great joys, I began to live the
honeymoon. And very certainly none of these
joys followed. But I had faith, and was deter-
The Kreutger Sonata 47
mined to have them, cost what they might. But
the more I tried to secure them, the less I suc-
ceeded. All this time I felt anxious, ashamed,
and weary. Soon I began to suffer. I believe
that on the third or fourth day I found my wife
sad, and asked her the reason. I began to em-
brace her, which in my opinion was all that she
could desire. She put me away with her hand,
and began to weep.
“At what? She could not tell me. She was
filled with sorrow, with anguish. Probably her
tortured nerves had suggested to her the truth
about the baseness of our relations, but she
found no words in which to say it. I began to
question her; she answered that she missed her
absent mother. It seemed to me that she was
not telling the truth. I sought to console her by
maintaining silence in regard to her parents. I
did not imagine that she felt herself simply over-
whelmed, and that her parents had nothing to do
with her sorrow. She did not listen to me, and
I accused her of caprice. I began to laugh at
her gently. She dried her tears, and began to
reproach me, in hard and wounding terms, for
my selfishness and cruelty.
“I looked at her. Her whole face expressed
hatred, and hatred of me. I cannot describe to
you the fright which this sight gave me. ‘How?
What?’ thought I, ‘love is the unity of souls,
and here she hates me? Me? Why? But it is
impossible ! It is no longer she l’
48 The Kreutger Sonata.
“I tried to calm her. I came in conflict with
an immovable and cold hostility, so that, having
no time to reflect, I was seized with keen irrita-
tion. We exchanged disagreeable remarks. The
impression of this first quarrel was terrible. I
say quarrel, but the term is inexact. It was the
sudden discovery of the abyss that had been dug
between us. Love was exhausted with the satis- -
faction of sensuality. We stood face to face in
our true light, like two egoists trying to procure
the greatest possible enjoyment, like two individ-
uals trying to mutually exploit each other.
“So what I called our quarrel was our actual
situation as it appeared after the satisfaction of
sensual desire. I did not realize that this cold
hostility was our normal state, and that this first
quarrel would soon be drowned under a new
flood of the intensest sensuality. I thought that
we had disputed with each other, and had be-
come reconciled, and that it would not happen
again. But in this same honeymoon there came
a period of satiety, in which we ceased to be
necessary to each other, and a new quarrel broke
Out.
“It became evident that the first was not a
matter of chance. “It was inevitable,” I thought.
This second quarrel stupefied me the more, be-
cause it was based on an extremely unjust cause.
It was something like a question of money,
and never had I haggled on that score; it was
The Kreutger Sonata. 49
even impossible that I should do so in relation to
her. I only remember that, in answer to some
remark that I made, she insinuated that it was
my intention to rule her by means of money, and
that it was upon money that I based my sole
right over her. In short, something extraordi-
narily stupid and base, which was neither in my
character nor in hers. sº
“I was beside myself. I accused her of indeli-
cacy. She made the same accusation against
me, and the dispute broke out. In her words,
in the expression of her face, of her eyes, I
noticed again the hatred that had so astonished
me before. With a brother, friends, my father,
I had occasionally quarrelled, but never had
there been between us this fierce spite. Some
time passed. Our mutual hatred was again con-
cealed beneath an access of sensual desire, and
I again consoled myself with the reflection that
these scenes were reparable faults.
“But when they were repeated a third and a
fourth time, I understood that they were not
simply faults, but a fatality that must happen
again. I was no longer frightened, I was simply
astonished that I should be precisely the one to
live so uncomfortably with my wife, and that the
same thing did not happen in other households.
I did not know that in all households the same
sudden changes take place, but that all, like my-
self, imagine that it is a misfortune exclusively
5O The Kreutger Sonata
reserved for themselves alone, which they care-
fully conceal as shameful, not only to others, but
to themselves, like a bad disease.
“That was what happened to me. Begun in
the early days, it continued and increased with
characteristics of fury that were ever more pro-
nounced. At the bottom of my soul, from the
first weeks, I felt that I was in a trap, that I had
what I did not expect, and that marriage is not
a joy, but a painful trial. Like everybody else,
I refused to confess it (I should not have con-
fessed it even now but for the outcome). Now I
am astonished to think that I did not see my real
situation. It was so easy to perceive it, in
view of those quarrels, begun for reasons so
trivial that afterwards one could not recall them.
“Just as it often happens among gay young
people that, in the absence of jokes, they laugh
at their own laughter, so we found no reasons for
our hatred, and we hated each other because
hatred was naturally boiling up in us. More
extraordinary still was the absence of causes for
reconciliation. •
“Sometimes words, explanations, or even tears,
but sometimes, I remember, after insulting words,
there tacitly followed embraces and declarations.
Abomination | Why is it that I did not then per-
ceive this baseness 2
The Kreutger Somaža 5 I
XIII.
“ALL of us, men and women, are brought up
in these aberrations of feeling that we call love.
I from childhood had prepared myself for this
thing, and I loved, and I loved during all my
youth, and I was joyous in loving. It had been
put into my head that it was the noblest and
highest occupation in the world. But when this
expected feeling came at last, and I, a man,
abandoned myself to it, the lie was pierced
through and through. Theoretically a lofty love
is conceivable; practically it is an ignoble and
degrading thing, which it is equally disgusting to
talk about and to remember. It is not in vain
that nature has made ceremonies, but people pre-
tend that the ignoble and the shameful is beauti-
ful and lofty. - -
“I will tell you brutally and briefly what were
the first signs of my love. I abandoned myself
to beastly excesses, not only not ashamed of
them, but proud of them, giving no thought to
the intellectual life of my wife. And not only
did I not think of her intellectual life, I did not
e Ven consider her physical life. I was astonished
at the origin of our hostility, and yet how clear
it was This hostility is nothing but a protest
of human nature against the beast that enslaves
it. It could not be otherwise. This hatred was
52 The Kreutger Somaža
the hatred of accomplices in a crime. Was it
not a crime that, this poor woman having become
pregnant in the first month, our liaison should
have continued just the same 2
“You imagine that I am wandering from my
story. Not at all. I am always giving you an
account of the events that led to the murder of
my wife. The imbeciles | They think that I
killed my wife on the 5th of October. It was
long before that that I immolated her, just as
they all kill now. Understand well that in our
society there is an idea shared by all that woman
procures man pleasure (and vice versa, probably,
but I know nothing of that, I only know my own
case). Wein, Weiber, und Gesang. So say the
poets in their verses: Wine, women, and song
“If it were only that Take all the poetry, the
painting, the sculpture, beginning with Pousch-
kine’s ‘Little Feet,” with “Venus and Phryne,’
and you will see that woman is only a means of
enjoyment. That is what she is at Trouba,” at
Gratchevka, and in a court ball-room. And think
of this diabolical trick: if she were a thing with-
out moral value, it might be said that woman is
a fine morsel; but, in the first place, these
knights assure us that they adore woman (they
adore her and look upon her, however, as a
means of enjoyment), then all assure us that they
esteem woman. Some give up their seats to her,
pick up her handkerchief; others recognize in
* A suburb of Moscow,
7%e Āzezañeer Sozzafa. 53
her a right to fill all offices, participate in govern-
ment, etc., but, in spite of all that, the essential
point remains the same. She is, she remains, an
object of sensual desire, and she knows it. It
is slavery, for slavery is nothing else than the
utilization of the labor of some for the enjoy-
ment of others. That slavery may not exist
people must refuse to enjoy the labor of others,
and look upon it as a shameful act and as a sin.
“Actually, this is what happens. They abol-
ish the external form, they suppress the formal
sales of slaves, and then they imagine and assure
others that slavery is abolished. They are un-
willing to see that it still exists, since people, as
before, like to profit by the labor of others,
and think it good and just. This being given,
there will always be found beings stronger or
more cunning than others to profit thereby. The
same thing happens in the emancipation of
woman. At bottom feminine servitude consists
entirely in her assimilation with a means of
pleasure. They excite woman, they give her all
sorts of rights equal to those of men, but they
continue to look upon her as an object of sensual
desire, and thus they bring her up from infancy
and in public opinion.
“She is always the humiliated and corrupt
serf, and man remains always, the debauched
Master. Yes, to abolish slavery, public opinion
must admit that it is shameful to exploit one’s
54 The Kreutzer Sonata
neighbor, and, to make woman free, public opin-
ion must admit that it is shameful to consider
woman as an instrument of pleasure.
“The emancipation of woman is not to be
effected in the public courts or in the chamber
of deputies, but in the sleeping chamber. Pros-
titution is to be combated, not in the houses of
ill-fame, but in the family. They free woman in
the public courts and in the chamber of deputies,
but she remains an instrument. Teach her, as
she is taught among us, to look upon herself as
such, and she will always remain an inferior
being. Either, with the aid of the rascally doc-
tors, she will try to prevent conception, and
descend, not to the level of an animal, but to
the level of a thing ; or she will be what she is
in the great majority of cases, -sick, hysterical,
wretched, without hope of spiritual progress.” . . .
“But why that?” I asked.
“Oh I the most astonishing thing is that no
one is willing to see this thing, evident as it is,
which the doctors must understand, but which
they take good care not to do. Man does not
wish to know the law of nature, children. But
children are born and become an embarrassment.
Then man devises means of avoiding this embar-
rassment. We have not yet reached the low
level of Europe, nor Paris, nor the “system of
two children,’ nor Mahomet. We have discov-
ered nothing, because we have given it no thought.
The Kreutger Sozzata 55
We feel that there is something bad in the two
first means; but we wish to preserve the family,
and our view of woman is still worse.
“With us woman must be at the same time
mistress and nurse, and her strength is not suf-
ficient. That is why we have hysteria, nervous
attacks, and, among the peasants, witchcraft.
Note that among the young girls of the peasantry
this state of things does not exist, but only
among the wives, and the wives who live with
their husbands. The reason is clear, and this is
the cause of the intellectual and moral decline
of woman, and of her abasement. --
“If they would only reflect what a grand work
for the wife is the period of gestation | In her is
forming the being who continues us, and this
holy work is thwarted and rendered painful . . .
by what? It is frightful to think of it! And
after that they talk of the liberties and the
rights of woman It is like the cannibals fatten-
ing their prisoners in order to devour them, and
assuring these unfortunates at the same time that
their rights and their liberties are guarded !”
All this was new to me, and astonished me
very much. .
“But if this is so,” said I, “it follows that one.”
may love his wife only once every two years;
and as man” . . . -
“And as man has need of her, you are going
to say. At least, so the priests of science assure
56 The Krezz/ger Sozzata
us. I would force these priests to fulfil the func-
tion of these women, who, in their opinion, are
necessary to man. I wonder what song they
would sing then. Assure man that he needs
brandy, tobacco, opium, and he will believe those
poisons necessary. It follows that God did not
know how to arrange matters properly, since,
without asking the opinions of the priests, he has
combined things as they are. Man needs, so
they have decided, to satisfy his sensual desire,
and here this function is disturbed by the birth
and the nursing of children.
“What, then, is to be done? Why, apply to
the priests; they will arrange everything, and
they have really discovered a way. When, then,
will these rascals with their lies be uncrowned 2
It is high time. We have had enough of them.
People go mad, and shoot each other with re-
volvers, and always because of that And how
could it be otherwise 2
“One would say that the animals know that
descent continues their race, and that they fol-
low a certain law in regard thereto. Only man
does not know this, and is unwilling to know it.
He cares only to have as much sensual enjoyment
as possible. The king of nature, -man In
the name of his love he kills half the human race.
Of woman, who ought to be his aid in the move-
ment of humanity toward liberty, he makes, in
the name of his pleasures, not an aid, but an
The Kreuzger Sozzata 57
enemy. Who is it that everywhere puts a check
upon the progressive movement of humanity?
Woman. Why is it so? For the reason that I
have given, and for that reason only.
XIV.
“YEs, much worse than the animal is man
when he does not live as a man. Thus was I.
The horrible part is that I believed, inasmuch as
I did not allow myself to be seduced by other
women, that I was leading an honest family life,
that I was a very moral being, and that, if we
had quarrels, the fault was in my wife, and in her
character.
“But it is evident that the fault was not in her.
She was like everybody else, like the majority.
She was brought up according to the principles
exacted by the situation of our society,+ that is,
as all the young girls of our wealthy classes, with-
out exception, are brought up, and as they cannot
fail to be brought up. How many times we hear
or read of reflections upon the abnormal condi-
tion of women, and upon what they ought to be.
But these are only vain words. The education
of women results from the real and not imagi-
nary view which the world entertains of woman's
vocation. According to this view, the condition
58 The Kreutzer Sonata
of woman consists in procuring pleasure, and it
is to that end that her education is directed.
From her infancy she is taught only those things
that are calculated to increase her charm. Every
young girl is accustomed to think only of that.
“As the serfs were brought up solely to please
their masters, so woman is brought up to attract
men. It cannot be otherwise. But you will say,
perhaps, that that applies only to young girls who
are badly brought up, but that there is another
education, an education that is serious, in the
Schools, an education in the dead languages, an
education in the institutions of midwifery, an
education in medical courses, and in other
courses. It is false.
“Every sort of feminine education has for its
sole object the attraction of men.
“Some attract by music or curly hair, others
by science or by civic virtue. The object is the
same, and cannot be otherwise (since no other
object exists),- to seduce man in order to pos-
sess him. Imagine courses of instruction for
women and feminine science without men, that
is, learned women, and men not knowing them as
learned. Oh, no! No education, no instruction
can change woman as long as her highest ideal
shall be marriage and not virginity, freedom from
sensuality. Until that time she will remain a
serf. One need only imagine, forgetting the uni-
versality of the case, the conditions in which our
The Årezzºger Somaža - 59
young girls are brought up, to avoid astonishment
at the debauchery of the women of our upper
classes. It is the opposite that would cause as-
tonishment.
“Follow my reasoning. From infancy gar-
ments, ornaments, cleanliness, grace, dances,
music, reading of poetry, novels, singing, the
theatre, the concert, for use within and without,
according as women listen, or practise them-
selves. With that, complete physical idleness,
an excessive care of the body, a vast consump-
tion of sweetmeats; and God knows how the
poor maidens suffer from their own sensuality,
excited by all these things. Nine out of ten are
tortured intolerably during the first period of ma-
turity, and afterward provided they do not marry
at the age of twenty. That is what we are un-
willing to see, but those who have eyes see it all
the same. And even the majority of these un-
fortunate creatures are so excited by a hidden
sensuality (and it is lucky if it is hidden) that
they are fit for nothing. They become animated
only in the presence of men. Their whole life is
spent in preparations for coquetry, or in coquetry
itself. In the presence of men they become too
animated; they begin to live by sensual energy.
But the moment the man goes away, the life
stops.
“And that, not in the presence of a certain
man, but in the presence of any man, provided
6O The Kreutzer Sonata
he is not utterly hideous. You will say that this
is an exception. No, it is a rule. Only in some
it is made very evident, in others less so. But
no one lives by her own life; they are all depend-
ent upon man. They cannot be otherwise, since
to them the attraction of the greatest number of
men is the ideal of life (young girls and married
women), and it is for this reason that they have
no feeling stronger than that of the animal need
of every female who tries to attract the largest
number of males in order to increase the oppor-
tunities for choice. So it is in the life of young
girls, and so it continues during marriage. In
the life of young girls it is necessary in order to
selection, and in marriage it is necessary in order
to rule the husband. Only one thing suppresses or
interrupts these tendencies for a time, namely,
children, and then only when the woman is not
a monster, that is, when she nurses her own
children. Here again the doctor interferes.
“With my wife, who desired to nurse her own
children, and who did nurse six of them, it hap-
pened that the first child was sickly. The doc-
tors, who cynically undressed her and felt of her
everywhere, and whom I had to thank and pay
for these acts, these dear doctors decided that
she ought not to nurse her child, and she was
temporarily deprived of the only remedy for
coquetry. A nurse finished the nursing of this
first-born,-that is to say, we profited by the
The Kreutger Sonata 6 I
poverty and ignorance of a woman to steal her
from her own little one in favor of ours, and for
that purpose we dressed her in a kakoschnić
trimmed with gold lace. Nevertheless, that is
not the question; but there was again awakened
in my wife that coquetry which had been sleeping
during the nursing period. Thanks to that, she
reawakened in me the torments of jealousy which
I had formerly known, though in a much slighter
degree.
'XV.
“YES, jealousy, that is another of the secrets
of marriage known to all and concealed by all.
Besides the general cause of the mutual hatred
of husbands and wives resulting from complicity
in the pollution of a human being, and also from
other causes, the inexhaustible source of marital
wounds is jealousy. But by tacit consent it is
determined to conceal them from all, and we con-
ceal them. Knowing them, each one supposes
in himself that it is an unfortunate peculiarity,
and not a common destiny. So it was with me,
and it had to be so. There cannot fail to be
jealousy between husbands and wives who live
immorally. If they cannot sacrifice their pleas-
ures for the welfare of their child, they conclude
therefrom, and truly, that they will not sacrifice
62 The Kreutger Sonata.
their pleasures for, I will not say happiness and
tranquillity (since one may sin in secret), but even
for the sake of conscience. Each one knows
very well that neither admits any high moral
reasons for not betraying the other, since in their
mutual relations they fail in the requirements of
morality, and from that time distrust and watch
each other. =
“Oh, what a frightful feeling is jealousy I
do not speak of that real jealousy which has
foundations (it is tormenting, but it promises an
issue), but of that unconscious jealousy which
inevitably accompanies every immoral marriage,
and which, having no cause, has no end. This
jealousy is frightful. Frightful, that is the word.
“And this is it. A young man speaks to my
wife. He looks at her with a smile, and, as it
seems to me, he surveys her body. How does
he dare to think of her, to think of the possibility
of a romance with her ? And how can she, see-
ing this, tolerate him 2 Not only does she toler-
ate him, but she seems pleased. I even see that
she puts herself to trouble on his account. And
in my soul there rises such a hatred for her that
each of her words, each gesture, disgusts me.
She notices it, she knows not what to do, and
how assume an air of indifferent animation ?
Ah I suffer | That makes her gay, she is con-
tent. And my hatred increases tenfold, but I do
not dare to give it free force, because at the
The Kreutger Sozzafa. - 63
bottom of my soul I know that there are no real
reasons for it, and I remain in my seat, feigning
indifference, and exaggerating my attention and
courtesy to him. -
“Then I get angry with myself. I desire to
leave the room, to leave them alone, and I do,
in fact, go out; but scarcely am I Outside when I
am invaded by a fear of what is taking place
within my absence. I go in again, inventing
some pretext. Or sometimes I do not go in ; I
remain near the door, and listen. How can she
humiliate herself and humiliate me by placing me
in this cowardly situation of suspicion and espi-
onage 2 Oh, abomination | Oh, the wicked ani-
mall And he too, what does he think of you ?
But he is like all men. He is what I was before
my marriage. It gives him pleasure. He even
smiles when he looks at me, as much as to say:
‘What have you to do with this It is my turn
now.’ -
“This feeling is horrible. Its burn is unen-
durable. To entertain this feeling toward any
one, to once suspect a man of lusting after my
wife, was enough to spoil this man forever in my
eyes, as if he had been sprinkled with vitriol.
Let me once become jealous of a being, and
nevermore could I re-establish with him simple
human relations, and my eyes flashed when I
looked at him. -- • *- -
“As for my wife, so many tºnes had I en-
64 The Kreutger Sonata
veloped her with this moral vitriol, with this jeal-
ous hatred, that she was degraded thereby. In
the periods of this causeless hatred I gradually
uncrowned her. I covered her with shame in my
imagination. -
“I invented impossible knaveries. I sus-
pected, I am ashamed to say, that she, this queen
of ‘The Thousand and One Nights,” deceived me
with my serf, under my very eyes, and laughing
at me. Thus, with each new access of jealousy
(I speak always of causeless jealousy), I entered
into the furrow dug formerly by my filthy suspi-
cions, and I continually deepened it. She did
the same thing. If I have reasons to be jealous,
she who knew my past had a thousand times
more. And she was more ill-natured in her jeal-
ousy than I. And the sufferings that I felt from
her jealousy were different, and likewise very
painful.
“The situation may be described thus. We
are living more or less tranquilly. I am even
gay and contented. Suddenly we start a conver-
sation on some most commonplace subject, and
directly she finds herself disagreeing with me
upon matters concerning which we have been
generally in accord. And furthermore I see that,
without any necessity therefor, she is becoming
irritated. I think that she has a nervous attack,
or else that the subject of conversation is really
disagreeable to her. We talk of something else,
The Kreutzer Sonata 65
and that begins again. Again she torments me,
and becomes irritated. I am astonished and
look for a reason. Why? For what? She
keeps silence, answers me with monosyllables,
evidently making allusions to something. I
begin to divine that the reason of all this is that
I have taken a few walks in the garden with her
cousin, to whom I did not give even a thought.
I begin to divine, but I cannot say so. If I say
so, I confirm her suspicions. I interrogate her,
I question her. She does not answer, but she
sees that I understand, and that confirms her
suspicions. • *. .
“‘What is the matter with you?' I ask.
“‘Nothing. I am as well as usual,” she an-
SW6IS.
“And at the same time, like a crazy woman,
she gives utterance to the silliest remarks, to the
most inexplicable explosions of spite.
“Sometimes I am patient, but at other times
I break out with anger. Then her own irritation
is launched forth in a flood of insults, in charges
of imaginary crimes, and all carried to the highest
degree by sobs, tears, and retreats through the
house to the most improbable spots. I go to
look for her. I am ashamed before people, be-
fore the children, but there is nothing to be
done. She is in a condition where I feel that
she is ready for anything. I run, and finally find
her. Nights of torture follow, in which both of
66 The Kreuzger Sonata
us, with exhausted nerves, appease each other,
after the most cruel words and accusations.
“Yes, jealousy, causeless jealousy, is the con-
dition of our debauched conjugal life. And
throughout my marriage never did I cease to feel
it and to suffer from it. There were two periods
in which I suffered most intensely. The first
time was after the birth of our first child, when
the doctors had forbidden my wife to nurse it. .
I was particularly jealous, in the first place, be-
cause my wife felt that restlessness peculiar to
animal matter when the regular course of life
is interrupted without occasion. But especially
was I jealous because, having seen with what
facility she had thrown off her moral duties as
a mother, I concluded rightly, though uncon-
sciously, that she would throw off as easily her
conjugal duties, feeling all the surer of this be-
cause she was in perfect health, as was shown by
the fact that, in spite of the prohibition of the
dear doctors, she nursed her following children,
and even very well.” -
“I see that you have no love for the doctors,”
said I, having noticed Posdnicheff's extraordina-
rily spiteful expression of face and tone of voice
whenever he spoke of them.
“It is not a question of loving them or of not
loving them. They have ruined my life, as they
have ruined the lives of thousands of beings
before me, and I cannot help connecting the con-
7%e Kreuziger Sozzafa. 67
sequence with the cause. I conceive that they
desire, like the lawyers and the rest, to make
money. I would willingly have given them half
of my income — and any one would have done it
in my place, understanding what they do — if
they had consented not to meddle in my conjugal
life, and to keep themselves at a distance. I
have compiled no statistics, but I know scores of
cases—in reality, they are innumerable — where
they have killed, now a child in its mother's
womb, asserting positively that the mother could
not give birth to it (when the mother could give
birth to it very well), now mothers, under the
pretext of a so-called operation. No one has
counted these murders, just as no one counted
the murders of the Inquisition, because it was
supposed that they were committed for the bene-
fit of humanity. Innumerable are the crimes of
the doctors But all these crimes are nothing
compared with the materialistic demoralization
which they introduce into the world through
women. I say nothing of the fact that, if it were
to follow their advice,— thanks to the microbe
which they see everywhere, humanity, instead
of tending to union, would proceed straight to
complete disunion. Everybody, according to
their doctrine, should isolate himself, and never
remove from his mouth a syringe filled with
phenic acid (moreover, they have found out now
that it does no good). But I would pass over all
: 68 The Årezzºger Sozzafa.
these things. The supreme poison is the perver-
sion of people, especially of women. One can
no longer say now : “You live badly, live better.’
One can no longer say it either to himself or to
others, for, if you live badly (say the doctors), the
cause is in the nervous system or in something
similar, and it is necessary to go to consult them,
and they will prescribe for you thirty five copecks'
worth of remedies to be bought at the drug storé,
and you must swallow them. Your condition
grows worse Again to the doctors, and more
remedies An excellent business I
“But to return to our subject. I was saying
that my wife nursed her children well, that the
nursing and the gestation of the children, and
the children in general, quieted my tortures of
jealousy, but that, on the other hand, they pro-
voked torments of a different sort.
XVI.
“THE children came rapidly, one after another,
and there happened what happens in our society
with children and doctors. Yes, children, ma-
ternal love, it is a painful thing. Children, to a
woman of our society, are not a joy, a pride,
nor a fulfilment of her vocation, but a cause of
fear, anxiety, and interminable suffering, torture.
7%e Kreuzger Sozzafa. 69
Women say it, they think it, and they feel it too.
Children to them are really a torture, not because
they do not wish to give birth to them, nurse
them, and care for them (women with a strong
maternal instinct — and such was my wife — are
ready to do that), but because the children may
fall sick and die. They do not wish to give birth
to them, and then not love them ; and when they
love, they do not wish to feel fear for the child's
health and life. That is why they do not wish
to nurse them. ‘If I nurse it,” they say, ‘I shall
become too fond of it.’ One would think that
they preferred india-rubber children, which could
neither be sick nor die, and could always be re-
paired. What an entanglement in the brains of
these poor women Why such abominations to
avoid pregnancy, and to avoid the love of the
little ones 2 -
“Love, the most joyous condition of the soul,
is represented as a danger. And why? Becausé,
when a man does not live as a man, he is worse
than a beast. A woman cannot look upon a
child otherwise than as a pleasure. It is true
that it is painful to give birth to it, but what
little hands ! ... Oh, the little hands ! Oh, the
little feet! Oh, its smile ! Oh, its little body
Oh, its prattle ! Oh, its hiccough In a word,
it is a feeling of animal, sensual maternity. But
as for any idea as to the mysterious significance
of the appearance of a new human being to re-
place us, there is scarcely a sign of it.
7o The Kreutger Sonata
“Nothing of it appears in all that is said and
done. No one has any faith now in a baptism
of the child, and yet that was nothing but a
reminder of the human significance of the new-
born babe. -
“They have rejected all that, but they have not
replaced it, and there remain only the dresses,
the laces, the little hands, the little feet, and
whatever exists in the animal. But the animal
has neither imagination, nor foresight, nor rea-
son, nor a doctor. No 1 not even a doctor The
chicken droops its head, overwhelmed, or the
calf dies; the hen clucks and the cow lows for
a time, and then these beasts continue to live,
forgetting what has happened. With us, if the
child falls sick, what is to be done, how to care
for it, what doctor to call, where to go? If it
dies, there will be no more little hands or little
feet, and then what is the use of the sufferings
endured 2 The cow does not ask all that, and
this is why children are a source of misery. The
cow has no imagination, and for that reason can-
not think how it might have saved the child if it
had done this or that, and its grief, founded in
its physical being, lasts but a very short time.
It is only a condition, and not that sorrow which
becomes exaggerated to the point of despair,
thanks to idleness and satiety. The cow has not
that reasoning faculty which would enable it to
ask the why. Why endure all these tortures 7
The Kreußer Somaža 71
What was the use of so much love, if the little
ones were to die? The cow has no logic which
tells it to have no more children, and, if any
come accidentally, to neither love nor nurse them,
that it may not suffer. But our wives reason,
and reason in this way, and that is why I said
that, when a man does not live as a man, he is
beneath the animal.”
“But then, how is it necessary to act, in your
opinion, in order to treat children humanly 2” I
asked. -
“How Why, love them humanly.”
“Well, do not mothers love their children?”
“They do not love them humanly, or very
seldom do, and that is why they do not love
them even as dogs. Mark this, a hen, a goose,
a wolf, will always remain to woman inaccessible
ideals of animal love. It is a rare thing for a
woman to throw herself, at the peril of her life,
upon an elephant to snatch her child away,
whereas a hen or a sparrow will not fail to fly
at a dog and sacrifice itself utterly for its
children. Observe this, also. Woman has the
power to limit her physical love for her children,
which an animal cannot do. Does that mean that,
because of this, woman is inferior to the animal P
No. She is superior (and even to say superior
is unjust, she is not superior, she is different),
but she has other duties, human duties. She
can restrain herself in the matter of animal love,
& 72 The Kreutzer Sonata
and transfer her love to the soul of the child.
That is what woman’s rôle should be, and that
is precisely what we do not see in our society.
We read of the heroic acts of mothers who sac-
rifice their children in the name of a superior
idea, and these things seem to us like tales of the
ancient world, which do not concern us. And
yet I believe that, if the mother has not some
ideal, in the name of which she can sacrifice the
animal feeling, and if this force finds no employ-
ment, she will transfer it to chimerical attempts.
to physically preserve her child, aided in this
task by the doctor, and she will suffer as she
does suffer.
“So it was with my wife. Whether there was
one child or five, the feeling remained the same.
In fact, it was a little better when there had been
five. Life was always poisoned with fear for the
children, not only from their real or imaginary
diseases, but even by their simple presence.
For my part, at least, throughout my conjugal
life, all my interests and all my happiness de-
pended upon the health of my children, their
condition, their studies. Children, it is needless
to say, are a serious consideration; but all Ought
to live, and in our days parents can no longer
live. Regular life does not exist for them. The
whole life of the family hangs by a hair. What
a terrible thing it is to suddenly receive the news
that little Basile is vomiting, or that Lise has a
The Kreuzeer Sozzuta 73
cramp in the stomach In mediately you aban-
don everything, you forget everything, everything
becomes nothing. The essential thing is the
doctor, the enema, the temperature. You can-
not begin a conversation but little Pierre comes
running in with an anxious air to ask if he may
eat an apple, or what jacket he shall put on, or
else it is the servant who enters with a screaming
baby.
“Regular, steady family life does not exist.
Where you live, and consequently what you do,
depends upon the health of the little ones, the
health of the little ones depends upon nobody,
and, thanks to the doctors, who pretend to aid
health, your entire life is disturbed. It is a
perpetual peril. Scarcely do we believe our-
selves out of it when a new danger comes: more
attempts to save. Always the situation of
sailors on a foundering vessel. Sometimes it
seemed to me that this was done on purpose,
that my wife feigned anxiety in order to conquer
me, since that solved the question so simply for
her benefit. It seemed to me that all that she
did at those times was done for its effect upon
me, but now I see that she herself, my wife, suf-
fered and was tortured on account of the little
ones, their health, and their diseases. -
“A torture to both of us, but to her the chil-
dren were also a means of forgetting herself,
like an intoxication. I often noticed, when she
74. The Kreutzer Sonata
was very sad, that she was relieved, when a child
fell sick, at being able to take refuge in this in-
toxication. It was involuntary intoxication, be-
cause as yet there was nothing else. On every
side we heard that Mrs. So and-so had lost chil-
dren, that Dr. So-and-so had saved the child of
Mrs. So-and-so, and that in a certain family all
had moved from the house in which they were
living, and thereby saved the little ones. And
the doctors, with a serious air, confirmed this,
sustaining my wife in her opinions. She was not
prone to fear, but the doctor dropped some word,
like corruption of the blood, scarlatina, or else —
heaven help us — diphtheria, and off she went.
“It was impossible for it to be otherwise.
Women in the old days had the belief that “God
has given, God has taken away,’ that the soul of
the little angel is going to heaven, and that it is
better to die innocent than to die in sin. If the
women of to-day had something like this faith,
they could endure more peacefully the sickness
of their children. But of all that there does not
remain even a trace. And yet it is necessary to
believe in something; consequently they stupidly
believe in medicine, and not even in medicine,
but in the doctor. One believes in X, another
in Z, and, like all believers, they do not see the
idiocy of their beliefs. They believe quia aff-
surdum, because, in reality, if they did not be-
lieve in a stupid way, they would see the vanity
7%e Åzezzęger Sozzafa. 75 .
of all that these brigands prescribe for them.
Scarlatina is a contagious disease; so, when one
lives in a large city, half the family has to move
away from its residence (we did it twice), and yet
every man in the city is a centre through which
pass innumerable diameters, carrying threads of
all sorts of contagions. There is no obstacle:
the baker the tailor, the coachmen, the laun-
dresses.
“And I would undertake, for every man who
moves on account of contagion, to find in his
new dwelling-place another contagion similar, if
not the same. -
“But that is not all. Every one knows rich
people who, after a case of diphtheria, destroy
everything in their residences, and then fall sick
in houses newly built and furnished. Every one
knows, likewise, numbers of men who come in
contact with sick people and do not get infected.
Our anxieties are due to the people who cir-
culate tall stories. One woman says that she
has an excellent doctor. ‘ Pardon me,’ answers
the other, ‘he killed such a one,” or such a one.
And vice versa. Bring her another, who knows
no more, who learned from the same books, who
treats according to the same formulas, but who
goes about in a carriage, and asks a hundred
roubles a visit, and she will have faith in him.
“It all lies in the fact that our women are
savages. They have no belief in God, but some
76 The Kreußer Somaſa
of them believe in the evil eye, and the others in
doctors who charge high fees. If they had faith,
they would know that scarlatina, diphtheria, etc.,
are not so terrible, since they cannot disturb that
which man can and should love, the soul.
There can result from them only that which none
of us can avoid, disease and death. Without
faith in God, they love only physically, and all
their energy is concentrated upon the preserva-
tion of life, which cannot be preserved, and
which the doctors promise the fools of both sexes
to save. And from that time there is nothing to
be done ; the doctors must be summoned.
“Thus the presence of the children not only
did not improve our relations as husband and
wife, but, on the contrary, disunited us. The
children became an additional cause of dispute,
and the larger they grew, the more they became
an instrument of struggle. One would have said
that we used them as weapons with which to
combat each other. Each of us had his favorite.
I made use of little Basile (the eldest), she of
Lise. Further, when the children reached an
age where their characters began to be defined,
they became allies, which we drew each in his
or her own direction. They suffered horribly
from this, the poor things, but we, in our per-
petual hubbub, were not clear-headed enough to
think of them. The little girl was devoted to
me, but the eldest boy, who resembled my wife,
his favorite. often inspired me with dislike.
The Kreutzer Sonata 77
XVII.
“WE lived at first in the country, then in the
city, and, if the final misfortune had not hap-
pened, I should have lived thus until my old age,
and should then have believed that I had had a
good life, not too good, but, on the other hand,
not bad, an existence such as other people lead.
I should not have understood the abyss of mis-
fortune and ignoble falsehood in which I floun-
dered about, feeling that something was not
right. I felt, in the first place, that I, a man,
who, according to my ideas, ought to be the
master, wore the petticoats, and that I could
not get rid of them. The principal cause of my
subjection was the children. I should have
liked to free myself, but I could not. Bringing
up the children, and resting upon them, my wife
ruled. I did not then realize that she could not
help ruling, especially because, in marrying, she
was morally superior to me, as every young girl is
incomparably superior to the man, since she is in-
comparably purer. Strange thing ! The ordinary
wife in our society is a very commonplace person
or worse, selfish, gossiping, whimsical, whereas
the ordinary young girl, until the age of twenty,
is a charming being, ready for everything that is
beautiful and lofty. Why is this so Evidently
because husbands pervert them, and lower them
to their own level.
78 The Kreuzger Somaža
“In truth, if boys and girls are born equal, the
little girls find themselves in a better situation.
In the first place, the young girl is not subjected
to the perverting conditions to which we are sub-
jected. She has neither cigarettes, nor wine, nor
cards, nor comrades, nor public houses, nor pub-
lic functions. And then the chief thing is that
she is physically pure, and that is why, in marry-
ing, she is superior to her husband. She is
superior to man as a young girl, and when she
becomes a wife in our society, where there is no
need to work in order to live, she becomes supe-
rior, also, by the gravity of the acts of genera-
tion, birth, and nursing. -
“Woman, in bringing a child into the world,
and giving it her bosom, sees clearly that her
affair is more serious than the affair of man, who
sits in the Zemstvo, in the court. She knows
that in these functions the main thing is money,
and money can be made in different ways, and
for that very reason money is not inevitably nec-
essary, like nursing a child. Consequently woman
is necessarily superior to man, and must rule.
But man, in our society, not only does not rec-
ognize this, but, on the contrary, always looks
upon her from the height of his grandeur, despis-
ing what she does.
“Thus my wife despised me for my work at
the Zemstvo, because she gave birth to children
and nursed them. I, in turn, thought that
7%e Kreuzger Somaža 79
woman's labor was most contemptible, which one
might and should laugh at.
“Apart from the other motives, we were also
separated by a mutual contempt. Our relations
grew ever more hostile, and we arrived at that
period when, not only did dissent provoke hostil-
ity, but hostility provoked dissent. Whatever
she might say, I was sure in advance to hold a
contrary opinion; and she the same. Toward
the fourth year of our marriage it was tacitly de-
cided between us that no intellectual community
was possible, and we made no further attempts at
it. As to the simplest objects, we each held ob-
stinately to our own opinions. With strangers
we talked upon the most varied and most inti-
mate matters, but not with each other. Some-
times, in listening to my wife talk with others in
my presence, I said, to myself: “What a woman
Everything that she says is a lie l’ And I was
astonished that the person with whom she was
conversing did not see that she was lying. When
we were together, we were condemned to silence,
or to conversations which, I am sure, might have
been carried on by animals.
“‘What time is it? It is bed-time. What is
there for dinner to-day Where shall we go 2
What is there in the newspaper? The doctor
must be sent for, Lise has a sore throat.”
“Unless we kept within the extremely narrow
limits of such conversation, irritation was sure to
&O The Kreuzger Soſzała
ensue. The presence of a third person relieved
us, for through an intermediary we could still
communicate. She probably believed that she
was always right. As for me, in my own eyes, I
was a saint beside her.
“The periods of what we call love arrived as
often as formerly. They were more brutal, with-
out refinement, without ornament; but they were
short, and generally followed by periods of irrita-
tion without cause, irritation fed by the most
trivial pretexts. We had spats about the coffee,
the table-cloth, the carriage, games of cards,-
trifles, in short, which could not be of the least
importance to either of us. As for me, a terrible
execration was continually boiling up within me.
I watched her pour the tea, swing her foot, lift
her spoon to her mouth, and blow upon hot liquids
or sip them, and I detested her as if these had
been so many crimes.
“I did not notice that these periods of irrita-
tion depended very regularly upon the periods of
love. Each of the latter was followed by one of
the former. A period of intense love was fol-
lowed by a long period of anger; a period of
mild love induced a mild irritation. We did not
understand that this love and this hatred were
two opposite faces of the same animal feeling.
To live thus would be terrible, if one understood
the philosophy of it. But we did not perceive
this, we did not analyze it. It is at once the
The Kreutger Sonata 8 I
torture and the relief of man that, when he lives.
irregularly, he can cherish illusions as to the mis.
eries of his situation. So did we. She tried to
forget herself in sudden and absorbing occupa-
tions, in household duties, the care of the furni-
ture, her dress and that of her children, in the
education of the latter, and in looking after
their health. These were occupations that did
not arise from any immediate necessity, but she
accomplished them as if her life and that of her
children depended on whether the pastry was
allowed to burn, whether a curtain was hanging
properly, whether a dress was a success, whether
a lesson was well learned, or whether a medicine
was swallowed.
“I saw clearly that to her all this was, more
than anything else, a means of forgetting, an
intoxication, just as hunting, card-playing, and
my functions at the Zemstvo served the same pur-
pose for me. It is true that in addition I had an
intoxication literally speaking, tobacco, which
I smoked in large quantities, and wine, upon
which I did not get drunk, but of which I took
too much, Vodka before meals, and during meals
two glasses of wine, so that a perpetual mist con-
cealed the turmoil of existence.
“These new theories of hypnotism, of mental
maladies, of hysteria are not simple stupidities,
but dangerous or evil stupidities. Charcot, I am
sure, would have said that my wife was hysterical,
82 - The Kreutge? Somaža
and of me he would have said that I was an ab-
normal being, and he would have wanted to treat
me. But in us there was nothing requiring treat-
ment. All this mental malady was the simple
result of the fact that we were living immorally.
Thanks to this immoral life, we suffered, and, to
stifle our sufferings, we tried abnormal means,
which the doctors call the ‘symptoms’ of a men-
tal malady, hysteria.
“There was no occasion in all this to apply
for treatment to Charcot or to anybody else.
Neither suggestion nor bromide would have been
effective in working our cure. The needful thing
was an examination of the origin of the evil. It
is as when one is sitting on a nail ; if you see the
nail, you see that which is irregular in your life,
and you avoid it. Then the pain stops, without
any necessity of stifling it. Our pain arose from
the irregularity of our life, and also my jealousy,
my irritability, and the necessity of keeping my-
self in a state of perpetual semi-intoxication by
hunting, card-playing, and, above all, the use of
wine and tobacco. It was because of this irregu-
larity that my wife so passionately pursued her
occupations. The sudden changes of her dis-
position, from extreme sadness to extreme gayety,
and her babble, arose from the need of forgetting
herself, of forgetting her life, in the continual in-
toxication of varied and very brief occupations.
“Thus we lived in a perpetual fog, in which we
The Kreuzzer Sozzafa. 83
did not distinguish our condition. We were like
two galley-slaves fastened to the same ball, curs-
ing each other, poisoning each other's existence,
and trying to shake each other off. I was still
unaware that ninety-nine families out of every
hundred live in the same hell, and that it cannot
be otherwise. I had not learned this fact from
others or from myself. The coincidences that
are met in regular, and even in irregular life, are
surprising. At the very period when the life of
parents becomes impossible, it becomes indis-
pensable that they go to the city to live, in order
to educate their children. That is what we did.”
Posdnicheff became silent, and twice there es-
caped him, in the half-darkness, sighs, which at
that moment seemed to me like suppressed sobs.
Then he continued.
XVIII.
“So we lived in the city. In the city the
wretched feel less sad. One can live there a
hundred years without being noticed, and be
dead a long time before anybody will notice it.
People have no time to inquire into your life.
All are absorbed. Business, social relations, art,
the health of children, their education. And
there are visits that must be received and made ;
84 The Kreußer Sonata
it is necessary to see this one, it is necessary to
hear that one or the other one. In the city there
are always one, two, or three celebrities that it is
indispensable that one should visit. Now one
must care for himself, or care for such or such
a little one, now it is the professor, the private
tutor, the governesses, ... and life is absolutely
empty. In this activity we were less conscious
of the sufferings of our cohabitation. Moreover,
in the first of it, we had a superb occupation,--
the arrangement of the new dwelling, and then,
too, the moving from the city to the country, and
from the country to the city.
“Thus we spent a winter. The following
winter an incident happened to us which passed
unnoticed, but which was the fundamental cause
of all that happened later. My wife was suffering,
and the rascals (the doctors) would not permit
her to conceive a child, and taught her how to
avoid it. I was profoundly disgusted. I strug-
gled vainly against it, but she insisted frivolously
and obstinately, and I surrendered. The last
justification of our life as wretches was thereby
suppressed, and life became baser than ever.
“The peasant and the workingman need chil-
dren, and hence their conjugal relations have
a justification. But we, when we have a few
children, have no need of any more. They make
a superfluous confusion of expenses and joint
heirs, and are an embarrassment. Consequently
The Kreutger Sozzafa 85
we have no excuses for our existence as wretches,
but we are so deeply degraded that we do not
see the necessity of a justification. The ma-
jority of people in contemporary Society give
themselves up to this debauchery without the
slightest remorse. We have no conscience left,
except, so to speak, the conscience of public
opinion and of the criminal code. But in this.
matter neither of these consciences is struck.
There is not a being in society who blushes at it.
Each one practises it, X, Y, Z, etc. What is
the use of multiplying beggars, and depriving
ourselves of the joys of social life? There is no
necessity of having conscience before the crimi-
nal code, or of fearing it: low girls, soldiers’
wives, who throw their children into ponds or
wells, these certainly must be put in prison. But
with us the suppression is effected opportunely
and properly.
“Thus we passed two years more. The
method prescribed by the rascals had evidently
succeeded. My wife had grown stouter and
handsomer. It was the beauty of the end of
summer. She felt it, and paid much attention to
her person. She had acquired that provoking
beauty that stirs men. She was in all the brill-
iancy of the wife of thirty years, who conceives
no children, eats heartily, and is excited. The
very sight of her was enough to frighten one.
She was like a spirited carriage-horse that has
86 The Kreutger Sonata
long been idle, and suddenly finds itself without
a bridle. As for my wife, she had no bridle, as
for that matter, ninety-nine hundredths of our
women have none.”
XIX.
PoSDNICHEFF's face had become transformed ;
his eyes were pitiable ; their expression seemed
strange, like that of another being than himself;
his moustache and beard turned up toward the
top of his face ; his nose was diminished, and his
mouth enlarged, immense, frightful.
“Yes,” he resumed, “she had grown stouter
since ceasing to conceive, and her anxieties about
her children began to disappear. Not even to
disappear. One would have said that she was
waking from a long intoxication, that on coming
to herself she had perceived the entire universe
with its joys, a whole world in which she had not
learned to live, and which she did not under-
stand. º -
“‘If only this world shall not vanish When
time is past, when old age comes, one cannot
recover it.’ Thus, I believe, she thought, or
rather felt. Moreover, she could neither think
nor feel otherwise. She had been brought up in
this idea that there is in the world but one thing
The Kreuziger Somata 87
worthy of attention,-love. In marrying, she
had known something of this love, but very far
from everything that she had understood as
promised her, everything that she expected.
How many disillusions ! How much suffering !
And an unexpected torture, the children | This
torture had told upon her, and then, thanks to
the obliging doctor, she had learned that it is
possible to avoid having children. That had
made her glad. She had tried, and she was now
revived for the only thing that she knew, for
love. But love with a husband polluted by jeal-
ousy and ill-nature was no longer her ideal.
She began to think of some other tenderness;
at least, that is what I thought. She looked
about her as if expecting some event or some
being. I noticed it, and I could not help being
anxious. *
“Always, now, it happened that, in talking
with me through a third party (that is, in talking
with others, but with the intention that I should
hear), she boldly expressed,—not thinking that
an hour before she had said the opposite, half
joking, half seriously, this idea that maternal
anxieties are a delusion; that it is not worth
while to sacrifice one’s life to children. When
one is young, it is necessary to enjoy life. So
she occupied herself less with the children, not
with the same intensity as formerly, and paid
more and more attention to herself, to her face,
88 The Kreutger Sonata
—although she concealed it, to her pleasures,
and even to her perfection from the worldly point
of view. She began to devote herself passion-
ately to the piano, which had formerly stood for-
gotten in the corner. There, at the piano, began
the adventure.
“The man appeared.”
Posdnicheff seemed embarrassed, and twice
again there escaped him that nasal Sound of
which I spoke above. I thought that it gave
him pain to refer to the man, and to remember
him. He made an effort, as if to break down
the obstacle that embarrassed him, and continued
with determination.
“He was a bad man in my eyes, and not be-
cause he has played such an important rôle in my
life, but because he was really such. For the
rest, from the fact that he was bad, we must con-
clude that he was irresponsible. He was a mu-
sician, a violinist. Not a professional musician,
but half man of the world, half artist. His
father, a country proprietor, was a neighbor of
my father's. The father had become ruined, and
the children, three boys, were all sent away. Our
man, the youngest, was sent to his godmother at
Paris. There they placed him in the Conserva-
tory, for he showed a taste for music. He came
out a violinist, and played in concerts.”
On the point of speaking evil of the other,
Posdnicheff checked himself, stopped, and said
suddenly :
The Kreuzger Somaža 89
“In truth, I know not how he lived. I only
know that that year he came to Russia, and came
to see me. Moist eyes of almond shape, Smil-
ing red lips, a little moustache well waxed, hair
brushed in the latest fashion, a vulgarly pretty
face,—what the women call ‘not bad,'—feebly
built physically, but with no deformity; with hips
as broad as a woman's; correct, and insinuating
himself into the familiarity of people as far as
possible, but having that keen sense that quickly
detects a false step and retires in season,<- a
man, in short, observant of the external rules of
dignity, with that special Parisianism that is re-
vealed in buttoned boots, a gaudy cravat, and
that something which foreigners pick up in Paris,
and which, in its peculiarity and novelty, always
has an influence on our women. In his manners
an external and artificial gayety, a way, you know,
of referring to everything by hints, by unfinished
fragments, as if everything that one says you
knew already, recalled it, and could supply the
omissions. Well, he, with his music, was the
cause of all.
“At the trial the affair was so represented that
everything seemed attributable to jealousy. It is
false, that is, not quite false, but there was
something else. The verdict was rendered that
I was a deceived husband, that I had killed in
defence of my sullied honor (that is the way they
put it in their language), and thus I was ac-
90 The Kreutzer Sonata
quitted. I tried to explain the affair from my own
point of view, but they concluded that I simply
wanted to rehabilitate the memory of my wife.
Her relations with the musician, whatever they
may have been, are now of no importance to me
or to her. The important part is what I have
told you. The whole tragedy was due to the fact
that this man came into our house at a time when
an immense abyss had already been dug between
us, that frightful tension of mutual hatred, in
which the slightest motive sufficed to precipitate
the crisis. Our quarrels in the last days were
something terrible, and the more astonishing be-
cause they were followed by a brutal passion ex-
tremely strained. If it had not been he, some
other would have come. If the pretext had not
been jealousy, I should have discovered another.
I insist upon this point, that all husbands who
live the married life that I lived must either re-
sort to outside debauchery, or separate from their
wives, or kill themselves, or kill their wives as I
did. If there is any one in my case to whom this
does not happen, he is a very rare exception, for,
before ending as I ended, I was several times on
the point of suicide, and my wife made several
attempts to poison herself.
The Kreutzer Sozzata 9I
XX.
“IN order that you may understand me, I must
tell you how this happened. We were living
along, and all seemed well. Suddenly we began
to talk of the children’s education. I do not re-
member what words either of us uttered, but a
'discussion began, reproaches, leaps from one sub-
ject to another. ‘Yes, I know it. It has been
so for a long time.' . . . ‘You said that ' ... ‘No,
I did not say that.' . . . ‘Then I lie?’ etc.
“And I felt that the frightful crisis was ap-
proaching when I should desire to kill her or else
myself. I knew that it was approaching; I was
afraid of it as of fire; I wanted to restrain myself.
But rage took possession of my whole being. My
wife found herself in the same condition, perhaps
worse. She knew that she intentionally distorted
each of my words, and each of her words was sat-
urated with venom. All that was dear to me she
disparaged and profaned. The farther the quar-
rel went, the more furious it became. I cried, ‘Be
silent,” or something like that. She bounded out
of the room and ran toward the children. I tried
to hold her back to finish my insults. I grasped
her by the arm, and hurt her. She cried : ‘Chil-
dren, your father is beating me.’ I cried : “Don’t
lie.” She continued to utter falsehoods for the
simple purpose of irritating me further. “Ah, it
92 The Åzezz/ger Sozzafa
is not the first time,” or something of that sort.
The children rushed toward her and tried to
quiet her. I said: “Don’t sham.” She said:
‘You look upon everything as a sham. You
would kill a person and say he was shamming.
Now I understand you. That is what you want
to do.’ ‘Oh, if you were only dead ' ' I cried.
“I remember how that terrible phrase fright-
ened me. Never had I thought that I could utter
words so brutal, so frightful, and I was stupefied
at what had just escaped my lips. I fled into my
private apartment. I sat down and began to
smoke. I heard her go into the hall and prepare
to go out. I asked her: “Where are you going?”
She did not answer. ‘Well, may the devil take
you !’ said I to myself, going back into my private
room, where I lay down again and began Smok-
ing afresh. Thousands of plans of vengeance, of
ways of getting rid of her, and how to arrange
this, and act as if nothing had happened,— all
this passed through my head. I thought of these
things, and I smoked, and smoked, and smoked.
I thought of running away, of making my escape,
of going to America. I went so far as to dream
how beautiful it would be, after getting rid of her,
to love another woman, entirely different from
her. I should be rid of her if she should die or
if I should get a divorce, and I tried to think how
that could be managed. I saw that I was getting
confused, but, in order not to see that I was not
thinking rightly, I kept on Smoking.
The Kreuzger Sonata 93
“And the life of the house went on as usual.
The children’s teacher came and asked : “Where
is Madame * When will she return ?’ The Ser-
vants asked if they should serve the tea. I en-
tered the dining-room. The children, Lise, the
eldest girl, looked at me with fright, as if to ques-
tion me, and she did not come. The whole even-
ing passed, and still she did not come. "Two senti-
ments kept succeeding each other in my soul,
hatred for her, since she tortured myself and the
children by her absence, but would finally return
just the same, and fear lest she might return and
make some attempt upon herself. But where
should I look for her ? At her sister's It
seemed so stupid to go to ask where one’s wife is.
Moreover, may God forbid, I hoped, that she
should be at her sister's l If she wishes to tor-
ment any one, let her torment herself first. And
suppose she were not at her sister's. Suppose
she were to do, or had already done, something.
“Eleven o’clock, midnight, one o’clock. . . .
I did not sleep. I did not go to my chamber.
It is stupid to lie stretched out all alone, and to
wait. But in my study I did not rest. I tried to
busy myself, to write letters, to read. Impossi-
ble ! I was alone, tortured, wicked, and I listened.
Toward daylight I went to sleep. I awoke. She
had not returned. Everything in the house went
on as usual, and all looked at me in astonish-
ment, questioningly. The children's eyes were
94. The Kreutzer Sonata
full of reproach for me. And always the same
feeling of anxiety about her, and of hatred be-
cause of this anxiety.
“Toward eleven o'clock in the morning came
her sister, her ambassadress. Then began the
usual phrases: “She is in a terrible state. What
is the matter?” “Why, nothing has happened.’
I spoke of her asperity of character, and I added
that I had done nothing, and that I would not
take the first step. If she wants a divorce, so
much the better | My sister-in-law would not
listen to this idea, and went away without having
gained anything. I was obstinate, and I said
boldly and determinedly, in talking to her, that I
would not take the first step. Immediately she
had gone I went into the other room, and saw
the children in a frightened and pitiful state, and
there I found myself already inclined to take this
first step. But I was bound by my word. Again
I walked up and down, always smoking. At
breakfast I drank brandy and wine, and I
reached the point which I unconsciously desired,
the point where I no longer saw the stupidity and
baseness of my situation.
“Toward three o'clock she came. I thought
that she was appeased, or admitted her defeat.
I began to tell her that I was provoked by her
reproaches. She answered me, with the same
severe and terribly downcast face, that she had
not come for explanations, but to take the chil-
The Kreutger Sonata 95
dren, that we could not live together. I answered
that it was not my fault, that she had put me
beside myself. She looked at me with a severe
and solemn air, and said: “Say no more. You
will repent it.' I said that I could not tolerate
comedies. Then she cried out something that
I did not understand, and rushed toward her
room. The key turned in the lock, and she shut
herself up. I pushed at the door. There was
no response. Furious, I went away.
“A half hour later Lise came running all in
tears. ‘What! Has anything happened 2 We
cannot hear Mamma l' We went toward my wife's
room. I pushed the door with all my might,
The bolt was scarcely drawn, and the door
opened. In a skirt, with high boots, my wife lay
awkwardly on the bed. On the table an empty
opium phial. We restored her to life. Tears,
and then reconciliation l Not reconciliation;
internally each kept the hatred for the other, but
it was absolutely necessary for the moment to
end the scene in some way, and life began again
as before. These scenes, and even worse, came
now once a week, now every month, now every
day. And invariably the same incidents. Once
I was absolutely resolved to fly, but through some
inconceivable weakness I remained.
“Such were the circumstances in which we were
living when the man came. The man was bad, it
is true. But what! No worse than we were.
96 The Kreutzer Sonata
XXI.
“WHEN we moved to Moscow, this gentle-
man— his name was Troukhatchevsky — came to
my house. It was in the morning. I received
him. In former times we had been very familiar.
He tried, by various advances, to re-establish the
familiarity, but I was determined to keep him at
a distance, and soon he gave it up. He dis-
pleased me extremely. At the first glance I saw
that he was a filthy débauché. I was jealous of
him, even before he had seen my wife. But,
strange thing ! some occult, fatal power kept me
from repulsing him and sending him away, and,
on the contrary, induced me to suffer this ap-
proach. What could have been simpler than to
talk with him a few minutes, and then dismiss
him coldly, without introducing him to my wife 2
But no, as if on purpose, I turned the conversa-
tion upon his skill as a violinist, and he answered
that, contrary to what I had heard, he now played
the violin more than formerly. He remembered
that I used to play. I answered that I had
abandoned music, but that my wife played very
well.
“Singular thing ! Why, in the important
events of our life, in those in which a man’s fate
is decided,— as mine was decided in that mo-
ment, why in these events is there neither a
7%a Ārcz/fga r Sozzafa 97
past nor a future ? My relations with Trouk-
hatchevsky the first day, at the first hour, were
such as they might still have been after all that
has happened. I was conscious that some fright-
ful misfortune must result from the presence of
this man, and, in spite of that, I could not help
being amiable to him. I introduced him to my
wife. She was pleased with him. In the begin-
ning, I suppose, because of the pleasure of the
violin playing, which she adored. She had even
hired for that purpose a violinist from the theatre.
But when she cast a glance at me, she under-
stood my feelings, and concealed her impression.
Then began the mutual trickery and deceit. I
smiled agreeably, pretending that all this pleased
me extremely. He, looking at my wife, as all
débauchés look at beautiful women, with an air
of being interested solely in the subject of con-
versation,-that is, in that which did not interest
him at all.
“She tried to seem indifferent. But my ex-
pression, my jealous or false smile, which she
knew so well, and the voluptuous glances of the
musician, evidently excited her. I saw that, after
the first interview, her eyes were already glitter-
ing, glittering strangely, and that, thanks to my
jealousy, between him and her had been immedi-
ately established that sort of electric current
which is provoked by an identity of expression
in the smile and in the eyes.
98 The Kreutzer Sonata
“We talked, at the first interview, of music, of
Paris, and of all sorts of trivialities. He rose to
go. Pressing his hat against his swaying hip,
he stood erect, looking now at her and now at
me, as if waiting to see what she would do. I
remember that minute, precisely because it was
in my power not to invite him. I need not have
invited him, and then nothing would have hap-
pened. But I cast a glance first at him, then at
her. “Don’t flatter yourself that I can be jealous
of you,' I thought, addressing myself to her men-
tally, and I invited the other to bring his violin
that very evening, and to play with my wife. She
raised her eyes toward me with astonishment,
and her face turned purple, as if she were
seized with a sudden fear. She began to excuse
herself, saying that she did not play well enough.
This refusal only excited me the more. I re-
member the strange feeling with which I looked
at his neck, his white neck, in contrast with his
black hair, separated by a parting, when, with his
skipping gait, like that of a bird, he left my
house. I could not help confessing to myself
that this man’s presence caused me suffering.
‘It is in my power,’ thought I, ‘to so arrange
things that I shall never see him again. But can
it be that I, Z, fear him 2 No, I do not fear him.
It would be too humiliating!”
“And there in the hall, knowing that my wife
heard me, I insisted that he should come that
7%e Azezetzer Somaža 99
very evening with his violin. He promised me,
and went away. In the evening he arrived with
his violin, and they played together. But for a
long time things did not go well ; we had not the
necessary music, and that which we had my wife
could not play at sight. I amused myself with
their difficulties. I aided them, I made pro-
posals, and they finally executed a few pieces,
songs without words, and a little sonata by Mo-
zart. He played in a marvellous manner. He
had what is called the energetic and tender tone.
As for difficulties, there were none for him.
Scarcely had he begun to play, when his face
changed. He became serious, and much more
sympathetic. He was, it is needless to say, much
stronger than my wife. He helped her, he ad-
vised her simply and naturally, and at the same
time played his game with courtesy. My wife
seemed interested only in the music. She was
very simple and agreeable. Throughout the
evening I feigned, not only for the others, but
for myself, an interest solely in the music.
Really, I was continually tortured by jealousy.
From the first minute that the musician’s eyes
met those of my wife, I saw that he did not
regard her as a disagreeable woman, with whom
on occasian it would be unpleasant to enter into
intimate relations.
“If I had been pure, I should not have
dreamed of what he might think of her. But I
IOO The Azezdzaer Sozzafa
looked at women, and that is why I understood
him and was in torture. I was in torture, espe-
cially because I was sure that toward me she had
no other feeling than of perpetual irritation,
sometimes interrupted by the customary sen-
suality, and that this man,—thanks to his ex-
ternal elegance and his novelty, and, above all,
thanks to his unquestionably remarkable talent,
thanks to the attraction exercised under the in-
fluence of music, thanks to the impression that
music produces upon nervous natures,- this man
would not only please, but would inevitably, and
without difficulty, subjugate and conquer her, and
do with her as he liked.
“I could not help seeing this. I could not
help suffering, or keep from being jealous. And
I was jealous, and I suffered, and in spite of that,
and perhaps even because of that, an unknown
force, in spite of my will, impelled me to be not
only polite, but more than polite, amiable. I
cannot say whether I did it for my wife, or to
show him that I did not fear him, or to deceive
myself; but from my first relations with him I
could not be at my ease. I was obliged, that I
might not give way to a desire to kill him imme-
diately, to ‘caress’ him. I filled his glass at the
table, I grew enthusiastic over his playing, I
talked to him with an extremely amiable smile,
and I invited him to dinner the following Sunday,
and to play again. I told him that I would in-
The Kreuzäger Sozzafa. IOI
vite some of my acquaintances, lovers of his art,
to hear him.
“Two or three days later I was entering my
house, in conversation with a friend, when in the
hall I suddenly felt something as heavy as a
stone weighing on my heart, and I could not ac-
count for it. And it was this, it was this: in
passing through the hall, I had noticed something
which reminded me of him. Not until I reached
my study did I realize what it was, and I returned
to the hall to verify my conjecture. Yes, I was
not mistaken. It was his overcoat (everything
that belonged to him, I, without realizing it, had
observed with extraordinary attention). I ques-
tioned the servant. That was it. He had come.
I passed near the parlor, through my children’s
study-room. Lise, my daughter, was sitting
before a book, and the old nurse, with my
youngest child, was beside the table, turning the
cover of something or other. In the parlor I
heard a slow arpeggio, and his voice, deadened,
and a denial from her. She said: ‘No, no
There is something else l’ And it seemed to me
that some one was purposely deadening the words
by the aid of the piano.
“My God . How my heart leaped What
were my imaginations ! When I remember the
beast that lived in me at that moment, I am
seized with fright. My heart was first com-
pressed, then stopped, and then began to beat
I O2 The Kreutger Sonata
like a hammer. The principal feeling, as in
every bad feeling, was pity for myself. ‘Before
the children, before the old nurse,” thought I,
‘she dishonors me. I will go away. I can en-
dure it no longer. God knows what I should do
if ... But I must go in.”
The old nurse raised her eyes to mine, as if she
understood, and advised me to keep a sharp watch.
“I must go in,' I said to myself, and, without
knowing what I did, I opened the door. He was
sitting at the piano, and making arpeggios with
his long, white, curved fingers. She was stand-
ing in the angle of the grand piano, before the
open score. She saw or heard me first, and
raised her eyes to mine. Was she stunned, was
she pretending not to be frightened, or was she
really not frightened at all In any case, she
did not tremble, she did not stir. She blushed,
but only a little later.
“How glad I am that you have come ! We
have not decided what we will play Sunday,” said
he, in a tone that she would not have had if she
had been alone with me.
“This tone, and the way in which she said
“we” in speaking of herself and of him, revolted
me. I saluted him silently. He shook hands
with me directly, with a smile that seemed to me
full of mockery. He explained to me that he
had brought some scores, in order to prepare for
the Sunday concert, and that they were not in
The Kreutger Sonata IO3
w |
accord as to the piece to choose, whether diffi-
cult, classic things, notably a sonata by Beetho-
ven, or lighter pieces. And as he spoke, he
looked at me. It was all so natural, so simple,
that there was absolutely nothing to be said
against it. And at the same time I saw, I was
sure, that it was false, that they were in a con-
spiracy to deceive me.
“One of the most torturing situations for the
jealous (and in our social life everybody is jeal-
ous) are those social conditions which allow a
very great and dangerous intimacy between a
man and a woman under certain pretexts. One
must make himself the laughing stock of every-
body, if he desires to prevent associations in the
ball-room, the intimacy of doctors with their pa-
tients, the familiarity of art occupations, and
especially of music. In order that people may
occupy themselves together with the noblest art,
music, a certain intimacy is necessary, in which
there is nothing blameworthy. Only a jealous
fool of a husband can have anything to say
against it. A husband should not have such
thoughts, and especially should not thrust his
nose into these affairs, or prevent them. And
yet, everybody knows that precisely in these oc-
cupations, especially in music, many adulteries
originate in our society.
“I had evidently embarrassed them, because
for some time I was unable to say anything. I
IO4 The A reutger Sonata
was like a bottle suddenly turned upside down,
from which the water does not run because it is
too full. I wanted to insult the man, and to drive
him away, but I could do nothing of the kind.
On the contrary, I felt that I was disturbing them,
and that it was my fault. I made a pretence of
approving everything, this time also, thanks to
that strange feeling that forced me to treat him
the more amiably in proportion as his presence
was more painful to me. I said that I trusted to
his taste, and I advised my wife to do the same.
He remained just as long as it was necessary in
order to efface the unpleasant impression of my
abrupt entrance with a frightened face. He went
away with an air of satisfaction at the conclusions
arrived at. As for me, I was perfectly sure that,
in comparison with that which preoccupied them,
the question of music was indifferent to them. I
accompanied him with especial courtesy to the
hall (how can one help accompanying a man who
has come to disturb your tranquillity and ruin the
happiness of the entire family ), and I shook his
white, soft hand with fervent amiability.
The Kreutzer Sonata IO5
XX.
“ALL that day I did not speak to my wife. I
could not. Her proximity excited such hatred
that I feared myself. At the table she asked me,
in presence of the children, when I was to start
upon a journey. I was to go the following week
to an assembly of the Zemstvo, in a neighboring
locality. I named the date. She asked me if
I would need anything for the journey. I did
not answer. I sat silent at the table, and silently
I retired to my study. In those last days she
never entered my study, especially at that hour.
Suddenly I heard her steps, her walk, and then
a terribly base idea entered my head that, like
the wife of Uri, she wished to conceal a fault
already committed, and that it was for this reason
that she came to see me at this unseasonable
hour. ‘Is it possible,” thought I, ‘that she is
coming to see me 2' On hearing her step as it
approached : ‘If it is to see me that she is com-
ing, then I am right.”
“An inexpressible hatred invaded my soul.
The steps drew nearer, and nearer, and nearer
yet. Would she pass by and go on to the other
room 2 No, the hinges creaked, and at the door
her tall, graceful, languid figure appeared. In
her face, in her eyes, a timidity, an insinuating
expression, which she tried to hide, but which I
IO6 The Kreuzger Somaža
saw, and of which I understood the meaning. I
came near suffocating, such were my efforts to
hold my breath, and, continuing to look at her, I
took my cigarette, and lighted it.
“‘What does this mean 2 One comes to talk
with you, and you go to smoking.’
“And she sat down beside me on the sofa, rest-
ing against my shoulder. I recoiled, that I might
not touch her.
“‘I see that you are displeased with what I
wish to play on Sunday,” said she.
“‘I am not at all displeased,’ said I.
“‘Can I not see P’
“‘Well, I congratulate you on your clairvoyance.
Only to you every baseness is agreeable, and I
abhor it.’
“‘If you are going to swear like a trooper, I
am going away.”
“‘Then go away. Only know that, if the
honor of the family is nothing to you, to me it
is dear. As for you, the devil take you !”
“‘What | What is the matter P’
“‘Go away, in the name of God l’
“But she did not go away. Was she pretend-
ing not to understand, or did she really not un-
derstand what I meant P But she was offended
and became angry.
“‘You have become absolutely impossible,”
she began, or some such phrase as that regarding
my character, trying, as usual, to give me as much
The Krazezzer Somaža Io7
pain as possible. “After what you have done
to my sister (she referred to an incident with her
sister, in which, beside myself, I had uttered
brutalities; she knew that that tortured me, and
tried to touch me in that tender spot) nothing
will astonish me.’ -
“‘Yes, offended, humiliated, and dishonored,
and after that to hold me still responsible,”
thought I, and suddenly a rage, such a hatred in-
vaded me as I do not remember to have ever felt
before. For the first time I desired to express this
hatred physically. I leaped upon her, but at the
same moment I understood my condition, and I
asked myself whether it would be well for me to
abandon myself to my fury. And I answered my-
self that it would be well, that it would frighten
her, and, instead of resisting, I lashed and spurred
myself on, and was glad to feel my anger boiling
more and more fiercely.
“‘Go away, or I will kill you !” I cried, pur-
posely, with a frightful voice, and I grasped her
by the arm. She did not go away. Then I
twisted her arm, and pushed her away violently.
“‘What is the matter with you? Come to your
senses l’ she shrieked.
“‘Go away,’ roared I, louder than ever, rolling
my eyes wildly. “It takes you to put me in such
a fury. I do not answer for myself! Go away!”
In abandoning myself to my anger, I became
steeped in it, and I wanted to commit some vio.
IO8 The Kreuzger Somaža.
lent act to show the force of my fury. I felt a
terrible desire to beat her, to kill her, but I real-
ized that that could not be, and I restrained my-
self. I drew back from her, rushed to the table,
grasped the paper-weight, and threw it on the
floor by her side. I took care to aim a little to
one side, and, before she disappeared (I did it so
that she could see it), I grasped a candlestick,
which I also hurled, and then took down the
barometer, continuing to shout:
“‘Go away ! I do not answer for myself l’
“She disappeared, and I immediately ceased
my demonstrations. An hour later the old ser-
vant came to me and said that my wife was in a
fit of hysterics. I went to see her. She sobbed
and laughed, incapable of expressing anything,
her whole body in a tremble. She was not sham-
ming, she was really sick. We sent for the doc-
tor, and all night long I cared for her. Toward
daylight she grew calmer, and we became recon-
ciled under the influence of that feeling which we
called ‘love.’ The next morning, when, after the
reconciliation, I confessed to her that I was jeal-
ous of Troukhatchevsky, she was not at all em-
barrassed, and began to laugh in the most natural
way, so strange did the possibility of being led
astray by such a man appear to her.
“‘With such a man can an honest woman en-
tertain any feeling beyond the pleasure of enjoy-
ing music with him But if you like, I am ready
7%e Kreutger Sozzafa. IO9
to never see him again, even on Sunday, although
everybody has been invited. Write him that I
am indisposed, and that will end the matter.
Only one thing annoys me, that any one could
have thought him dangerous. I am too proud
not to detest such thoughts.”
“And she did not lie. She believed what she
said. She hoped by her words to provoke in her-
self a contempt for him, and thereby to defend
herself. But she did not succeed. Everything
was directed against her, especially that abomi-
nable music. So ended the quarrel, and on Sun-
day our guests came, and Troukhatchevsky and
my wife again played together.
XXIII.
“I THINK that it is superfluous to say that I
was very vain. If one has no vanity in this life
of ours, there is no sufficient reason for living.
So for that Sunday I had busied myself in taste-
fully arranging things for the dinner and the mu-
sical soirée. I had purchased myself numerous
things for the dinner, and had chosen the guests.
Toward six o'clock they arrived, and after them
Troukhatchevsky, in his dress-coat, with diamond
shirt-studs, in bad taste. He bore himself with
ease. To all questions he responded promptly,
I IO The Krezzºger Sonata
with a smile of contentment and understanding,
and that peculiar expression which was intended
to mean: ‘All that you may do and say will be
exactly what I expected.” Everything about him
that was not correct I now noticed with especial
pleasure, for it all tended to tranquillize me, and
prove to me that to my wife he stood in such a
degree of inferiority that, as she had told me, she
could not stoop to his level. Less because of my
wife's assurances than because of the atrocious
sufferings which I felt in jealousy, I no longer
allowed myself to be jealous.
“In spite of that, I was not at ease with the
musician or with her during dinner-time and the
time that elapsed before the beginning of the
music. Involuntarily I followed each of their
gestures and looks. The dinner, like all dinners,
was tiresome and conventional. Not long after-
ward the music began. He went to get his
violin; my wife advanced to the piano, and
rummaged among the scores. Oh, how well I
remember all the details of that evening ! I
remember how he brought the violin, how he
opened the box, took off the serge embroidered
by a lady's hand, and began to tune the instru-
ment. I can still see my wife sit down, with a
false air of indifference, under which it was plain
that she hid a great timidity, a timidity that was
especially due to her comparative lack of musical
knowledge. She sat down with that false air in
7%e Krezzºger Sozzafa. I I I
front of the piano, and then began the usual pre-
liminaries, the pizzicaä of the violin and the
arrangement of the scores. I remember then
how they looked at each other, and cast a glance
at their auditors who were taking their seats.
They said a few words to each other, and the
music began. They played Beethoven’s ‘Kreut-
zer Sonata.” Do you know the first presto Z Do
you know it Ah ” . . . -
Posdnicheff heaved a sigh, and was silent for a
long time. -
“A terrible thing is that sonata, especially the
Żresto Z And a terrible thing is music in gen-
eral. What is it? Why does it do what it does
They say that music stirs the soul. Stupidity
A lie It acts, it acts frightfully (I speak for
myself), but not in an ennobling way. It acts
neither in an ennobling nor a debasing way, but in
an irritating way. How shall I say it? Music
makes me forget my real situation. It transports
me into a state which is not my own. Under the
influence of music I really seem to feel what I
do not feel, to understand what I do not under-
stand, to have powers which I cannot have.
Music seems to me to act like yawning or laugh-
ter; I have no desire to sleep, but I yawn when
I see others yawn; with no reason to laugh, I
laugh when I hear others laugh. And music
transports me immediately into the condition of
- Soul in which he who wrote the music found him-
II 2 The Kreuzacz. Somaža
self at that time. I become confounded with his
Soul, and with him I pass from one condition to
another. But why that? I know nothing about
it? But he who wrote Beethoven’s ‘Kreutzer
Sonata' knew well why he found himself in a
certain condition. That condition led him to
certain actions, and for that reason to him had a
meaning, but to me none, none whatever. And
that is why music provokes an excitement which
it does not bring to a conclusion. For instance,
a military march is played; the soldier passes
to the Sound of this march, and the music is fin-
ished. A dance is played; I have finished danc-
ing, and the music is finished. A mass is sung ;
I receive the sacrament, and again the music is
finished. But any other music provokes an ex-
citement, and this excitement is not accompa-
nied by the thing that needs properly to be done,
and that is why music is so dangerous, and some-
times acts so frightfully.
“In China music is under the control of the
State, and that is the way it ought to be. Is it
admissible that the first comer should hypnotize
one or more persons, and then do with them as
he likes 2 And especially that the hypnotizer
should be the first immoral individual who
happens to come along It is a frightful power
in the hands of any one, no matter whom. For
instance, should they be allowed to play this
* Kreutzer Sonata,’ the first presto, and there
The Kreuzger Sozzafa. II 3
are many like it, in parlors, among ladies wear-
ing low-necked dresses, or in concerts, then
finish the piece, receive the applause, and then
begin another piece These things should be
played under certain circumstances, only in cases
where it is necessary to incite certain actions
corresponding to the music. But to incite an
energy of feeling which corresponds to neither
the time nor the place, and is expended in noth-
ing, cannot fail to act dangerously. On me in
particular this piece acted in a frightful manner.
One would have said that new sentiments, new
virtualities, of which I was formerly ignorant, had
developed in me. “Ah, yes, that's it ! Not at
all as I lived and thought before | This is the
right way to live l’
“Thus I spoke to my soul as I listened to that
music. What was this new thing that I thus
learned 2 That I did not realize, but the con-
sciousness of this indefinite state filled me with
joy. In that state there was no reom for jeal-
ousy. The same faces, and among them he and
my wife, I saw in a different light. This music.
transported me into an unknown world, where
there was no room for jealousy. Jealousy and
the feelings that provoke it seemed to me trivial-
ities, not worth thinking of.
“After the presto followed the andante, not
very new, with commonplace variations, and the
feeble finale. Then they played more, at the
II.4. The Kreufgez. Somaža
request of the guests, first an elegy by Ernst,
and then various other pieces. They were all
very well, but did not produce upon me a tenth
part of the impression that the opening piece
did. I felt light and gay throughout the evening.
As for my wife, never had I seen her as she was
that night. Those brilliant eyes, that severity
and majestic expression while she was playing,
and then that utter languor, that weak, pitiable,
and happy smile after she had finished,— I saw
them all and attached no importance to them,
believing that she felt as I did, that to her, as
to me, new sentiments had been revealed, as
through a fog. During almost the whole even-
ing I was not jealous.
“Two days later I was to start for the assem-
bly of the Zemstvo, and for that reason, on tak-
ing leave of me and carrying all his scores with
him, Troukhatchevsky asked me when I should
return. I inferred from that that he believed it
impossible to come to my house during my ab-
sence, and that was agreeable to me. Now I
was not to return before his departure from the
city. So we bade each other a definite farewell.
For the first time I shook his hand with pleasure,
and thanked him for the satisfaction that he had
given me. He likewise took leave of my wife,
and their parting seemed to me very natural and
proper. All went marvellously. My wife and I
retired, well satisfied with the evening. We
7%e Krezzºger Sozzafa. II 5
talked of our impressions in a general way, and
we were nearer together and more friendly than
we had been for a long time. .
XXIV.
“Two DAYS later I started for the assembly,
having bid farewell to my wife in an excellent
and tranquil state of mind. In the district there
was always much to be done. It was a world
and a life apart. During two days I spent ten
hours at the sessions. The evening of the sec-
ond day, on returning to my district lodgings,
I found a letter from my wife, telling me of the
children, of their uncle, of the servants, and,
among other things, as if it were perfectly natural,
that Troukhatchevsky had been at the house, and
had brought her the promised scores. He had
also proposed that they play again, but she had
refused.
“For my part, I did not remember at all that he
had promised any scores. It had seemed to me
on Sunday evening that he took a definite leave,
and for this reason the news gave me a disagree-
able surprise. I read the letter again. There
was something tender and timid about it. It
produced an extremely painful impression upon
me. My heart swelled, and the mad beast of
I I6 The Kreuzger Somaža
jealousy began to roar in his lair, and seemed to
want to leap upon his prey. But I was afraid of
this beast, and I imposed silence upon it.
“What an abominable sentiment is jealousy
‘What could be more natural than what she
has written ?’ said I to myself. I went to bed,
thinking myself tranquil again. I thought of the
business that remained to be done, and I went to
sleep without thinking of her.
“During these assemblies of the Zemstvo I
always slept badly in my strange quarters. That
night I went to sleep directly, but, as sometimes
happens, a sort of sudden shock awoke me. I
thought immediately of her, of my physical love
for her, of Troukhatchevsky, and that between
them everything had happened. And a feeling
of rage compressed my heart, and I tried to quiet
myself.
“‘How stupid!’ said I to myself; ‘there is no
reason, none at all. And why humiliate our-
selves, herself and myself, and especially myself,
by supposing such horrors 2 This mercenary
violinist, known as a bad man,— shall I think of
him in connection with a respectable woman, the
mother of a family, my wife 2 How silly l’ But
on the other hand, I said to myself: “Why should
it not happen 2'
“Why? Was it not the same simple and intel.
ligible feeling in the name of which I married,
in the name of which I was living with her, the
7%e Kreuzger Sozzafa. I 17
only thing I wanted of her, and that which, con-
sequently, others desired, this musician among
the rest? He was not married, was in good
health (I remember how his teeth ground the
gristle of the cutlets, and how eagerly he emptied
the glass of wine with his red lips), was careful
of his person, well fed, and not only without prin-
ciples, but evidently with the principle that one
should take advantage of the pleasure that offers
itself. There was a bond between them, music,
— the most refined form of sensual voluptuous-
ness. What was there to restrain them 2 Noth-
ing. Everything, on the contrary, attracted them.
And she, she had been and had remained a mys-
tery. I did not know her. I knew her only as
an animal, and an animal nothing can or should
restrain. And now I remember their faces
on Sunday evening, when, after the ‘Kreutzer
Sonata,’ they played a passionate piece, written
I know not by whom, but a piece passionate to
the point of obscenity.
“‘How could I have gone away ?” said I to
myself, as I recalled their faces. “Was it not
clear that between them everything was done that
evening 2 Was it not clear that between them
not only there were no more obstacles, but that
both — especially she — felt a certain shame after
what had happened at the piano 2 How weakly,
pitiably, happily she smiled, as she wiped the
perspiration from her reddened face | They
II 8 The Kreutger Sonata
already avoided each other's eyes, and only at
the Supper, when she poured some water for him,
did they look at each other and smile impercep-
tibly.”
“Now I remember with fright that look and
that scarcely perceptible smile. ‘Yes, everything
has happened,’ a voice said to me, and directly
another said the opposite. “Are you mad? It
is impossible !” said the second voice.
“It was too painful to me to remain thus
stretched in the darkness. I struck a match, and
the little yellow-papered room frightened me. I
lighted a cigarette, and, as always happens, when
one turns in a circle of inextricable contradiction,
I began to smoke. I smoked cigarette after
cigarette to dull my senses, that I might not see
my contradictions. All night I did not sleep,
and at five o'clock, when it was not yet light, I
decided that I could stand this strain no longer,
and that I would leave directly. There was a
train at eight o'clock. I awakened the keeper
who was acting as my servant, and sent him to
look for horses. To the assembly of Zemstvo
I sent a message that I was called back to Mos-
cow by pressing business, and that I begged them
to substitute for me a member of the Committee.
At eight o'clock I got into a tarantass and
started off.
The Kreutzer Sonata 119
XXV.
“I HAD to go twenty-five versts by carriage
and eight hours by train. By carriage it was a
very pleasant journey. The coolness of autumn
was accompanied by a brilliant sun. You know
the weather when the wheels imprint themselves
upon the dirty road. The road was level, and
the light strong, and the air strengthening. The
taraníass was comfortable. As I looked at the
horses, the fields, and the people whom we
passed, I forgot where I was going. Sometimes
it seemed to me that I was travelling without an
object, simply promenading,<-and that I should
go on thus to the end of the world. And I was
happy when I so forgot myself. But when I re-
membered where I was going, I said to myself:
“I shall see later. Don’t think about it.’
“When half way, an incident happened to dis-
tract me still further. The faraníass, though new,
broke down, and had to be repaired. The delays
in looking for a félègue, the repairs, the payment,
the tea in the inn, the conversation with the
dvornić, all served to amuse me. Toward night-
fall all was ready, and I started off again. By
night the journey was still pleasanter than by
day. The moon in its first quarter, a slight frost,
the road still in good condition, the horses, the
sprightly coachman, all served to put me in good
º-
I2O The Krcuizer Somata
spirits. I scarcely thought of what awaited me,
and was gay perhaps because of the very thing
that awaited me, and because I was about to say
farewell to the joys of life.
“But this tranquil state, the power of conquer-
ing my pre-occupation, all ended with the carriage
drive. Scarcely had I entered the cars, when
the other thing began. Those eight hours on the
rail were so terrible to me that I shall never for.
get them in my life. Was it because on entering
the car I had a vivid imagination of having al-
ready arrived, or because the railway acts upon
people in such an exciting fashion ? At any rate,
after boarding the train I could no longer control
my imagination, which incessantly, with extraor-
dinary vivacity, drew pictures before my eyes,
each more cynical than its predecessor, which
kindled my jealousy. And always the same
things about what was happening at home during
my absence. I burned with indignation, with
rage, and with a peculiar feeling which steeped
me in humiliation, as I contemplated these pict-
ures. And I could not tear myself out of this
condition. I could not help looking at them, I
could not efface them, I could not keep from
evoking them. - -
“The more I looked at these imaginary pict-
ures, the more I believed in their reality, forget-
ting that they had no serious foundation. The
vivacity of these images seemed to prove to me
7%e Krezzºger Sozzafa. I 2 I
that my imaginations were a reality. One would
have said that a demon, against my will, was
inventing and breathing into me the most terrible
fictions. A conversation which dated a long time
back, with the brother of Troukhatchevsky, I re-
membered at that moment, in a sort of ecstasy,
and it tore my heart as I connected it with the
musician and my wife. Yes, it was very long
ago. The brother of Troukhatchevsky, answer-
ing my questions as to whether he frequented
disreputable houses, said that a respectable man
does not go where he may contract a disease, in
a low and unclean spot, when one can find an
honest woman. And here he, his brother, the
musician, had found the honest woman. “It is
true that she is no longer in her early youth.
She has lost a tooth on one side, and her face is
slightly bloated,’ thought I for Troukhatchevsky.
“But what is to be done One must profit by
what one has.’
“‘Yes, he is bound to take her for his mistress,’
said I to myself again; “and besides, she is not
dangerous.” -
“‘No, it is not possible,” I rejoined in fright.
“Nothing, nothing of the kind has happened, and
there is no reason to suppose there has. Did
she not tell me that the very idea that I could
be jealous of her because of him was humiliating
to her ?’ ‘Yes, but she lied,” I cried, and all
began over again. -
I 22 The Kreutger Sonata
“There were only two travellers in my com-
partment: an old woman with her husband,
neither of them very talkative ; and even they
got out at one of the stations, leaving me all
alone. I was like a beast in a cage. Now I
jumped up and approached the window, now I
began to walk back and forth, staggering, as if
I hoped to make the train go faster by my efforts,
and the car with its seats and its windows trem-
bled continually, as ours does now.” -
And Posdnicheff rose abruptly, took a few
steps, and sat down again. -
“Oh, I am afraid, I am afraid of railway car-
riages. Fear seizes me. I sat down again, and
I said to myself: “I must think of something else.
For instance, of the inn-keeper at whose house I
took tea.’ And then, in my imagination arose
the dvornić, with his long beard, and his grand-
son, a little fellow of the same age as my little
Basile. My little Basile ! My little Basile ! He
will see the musician kiss his mother | What
thoughts will pass through his poor soul | But
what does that matter to her | She loves.
“And again it all began, the circle of the same
thoughts. I suffered so much that at last I did
not know what to do with myself, and an idea
passed through my head that pleased me much,-
to get out upon the rails, throw myself under the
cars, and thus finish everything. One thing pre-
vented me from doing so. It was pity! It was
The Krezuzzer Sozzafa. I23
pity for myself, evoking at the same time a
hatred for her, for him, but not so much for him.
Toward him I felt a strange sentiment of my
humiliation and his victory, but toward her a
terrible hatred. -
“‘But I cannot kill myself and leave her free.
She must suffer, she must understand at least that
I have suffered,” said I to myself.
“At a station I saw people drinking at the
lunch counter, and directly I went to swallow a
glass of Vodka. Beside me stood a Jew, drink-
ing also. He began to talk to me, and I, in
order not to be left alone in my compartment,
went with him into his third-class, dirty, full of
smoke, and covered with peelings and sunflower
seeds. There I sat down beside the Jew, and, as
it seemed, he told many anecdotes. .
“First I listened to him, but I did not under-
stand what he said. He noticed it, and exacted
my attention to his person. Then I rose and en-
tered my own compartment.
“‘I must consider,’ said I to myself, “whether
what I think is true, whether there is any reason
to torment myself.' I sat down, wishing to reflect
quietly; but directly, instead of the peaceful re-
flections, the same thing began again. Instead
of the reasoning, the pictures. -
“‘How many times have I tormented myself
in this way,' I thought (I recalled previous and
similar fits of jealousy), ‘and then seen it end in
I24. The Kreutger Somata
nothing at all? It is the same now. Perhaps,
yes, Surely, I shall find her quietly sleeping. She
will awaken, she will be glad, and in her words
and looks I shall see that nothing has happened,
that all this is vain. Ah, if it would only so turn
out !” “But no, that has happened too often
Now the end has come,’ a voice said to me.
“And again it all began. Ah, what torture
It is not to a hospital filled with syphilitic
patients that I would take a young man to de-
prive him of the desire for women, but into my
soul, to show him the demon which tore it. The
frightful part was that I recognized in myself an
indisputable right to the body of my wife, as if
her body were entirely mine. And at the same
time I felt that I could not possess this body, that
it was not mine, that she could do with it as she
liked, and that she liked to do with it as I did
not like. And I was powerless against him and
against her. He, like the Vanka of the song,
would sing, before mounting the gallows, how he
would kiss her sweet lips, etc., and he would even
have the best of it before death. With her it
was still worse. If she had not done it, she had
the desire, she wished to do it, and I knew that
she did. That was worse yet. It would be
better if she had already done it, to relieve me
of my uncertainty. - -
“In short, I could not say what I desired. I
desired that she might not want what she must
want. It was complete madness.
The Kreutger Sonata I25
XXVI.
“At the station before the last, when the con-
ductor came to take the tickets, I took my bag-
gage and went out on the car platform, and the
consciousness that the climax was near at hand
only added to my agitation. I was cold, my jaw
trembled so that my teeth chattered. Mechani-
cally I left the station with the crowd, I took a
ſchik, and I started. I looked at the few people
passing in the streets and at the dwornićs. I
read the signs, without thinking of anything.
After going half a verst my feet began to feel
cold, and I remembered that in the car I had
taken off my woollen socks, and had put them in
my travelling bag. Where had I put the bag?
Was it with me? Yes, and the basket 2
“I bethought myself that I had totally for-
gotten my baggage. I took out my check, and
then decided it was not worth while to return. I
continued on my way. In spite of all my efforts
to remember, I cannot at this moment make out
why I was in such a hurry. I know only that
I was conscious that a serious and menacing
event was approaching in my life. It was a case of
real auto-suggestion. Was it so serious because
I thought it so? Or had I a presentiment? I
do not know. Perhaps, too, after what has hap-
pened, all previous events have taken on a lugu-
brious tint in my memory.
I26 The Kreutger Sonata.
“I arrived at the steps. It was an hour past
midnight. A few isvotchiks were before the door,
awaiting customers, attracted by the lighted win-
dows (the lighted windows were those of our
parlor and reception room). Without trying to
account for this late illumination, I went up the
steps, always with the same expectation of some-
thing terrible, and I rang. The servant, a good,
industrious, and very stupid being, named Gregor,
opened the door. The first thing that leaped to
my eyes in the hall, on the hat-stand, among
other garments, was an overcoat. I ought to
have been astonished, but I was not astonished.
I expected it. ‘That's it !” I said to myself.
“When I had asked Gregor who was there,
and he had named Troukhatchevsky, I inquired
whether there were other visitors. He an-
swered: “Nobody.' I remember the air with
which he said that, with a tone that was intended
to give me pleasure, and dissipate my doubts.
‘That's it! that's it!' I had the air of saying to
myself. “And the children º' 2
“‘Thank God, they are very well. They went
to sleep long ago.”
“I scarcely breathed, and I could not keep
my jaw from trembling. Then it was not as I
thought. I had often before returned home with
the thought that a misfortune had awaited me,
but had been mistaken, and everything was going
on as usual. But now things were not going on
The Kreutger Sonata 127
as usual. All that I had imagined, all that I
believed to be chimeras, all really existed. Here
was the truth.
“I was on the point of sobbing, but straight-
way the demon whispered in my ear: “Weep
and be sentimental, and they will separate
quietly, and there will be no proofs, and all your
life you will doubt and suffer.’ And pity for
myself vanished, and there remained only the
bestial need of some adroit, cunning, and ener-
getic action. I became a beast, an intelligent
beast.
“‘No, no,” said I to Gregor, who was about to
announce my arrival. “Do this, take a carriage,
and go at once for my baggage. Here is the
check. Start.’
“He went along the hall to get his overcoat.
Fearing lest he might frighten them, I accom-
panied him to his little room, and waited for him
to put on his things. In the dining-room could
be heard the sound of conversation, and the rat-
tling of knives and plates. They were eating.
They had not heard the ring. ‘Now if they only
do not go out,' I thought.
“Gregor put on his fur-collared coat and went
out. I closed the door after him. I felt anxious
when I was alone, thinking that directly I should
have to act. How I did not yet know. I
knew only that all was ended, that there could
be no doubt of his innocence, and that in an in-
I 28 7%e Āzcz/£ger Sozzafa.
stant my relations with her were going to be ter.
minated. Before, I had still doubts. I said to
myself: ‘Perhaps this is not true. Perhaps I am
mistaken.” Now all doubt had disappeared. All
was decided irrevocably. Secretly, all alone
with him, at night ! It is a violation of all duties
Or, worse yet, she may make a show of that
audacity, of that insolence in crime, which, by
its excess, tends to prove innocence. All is
clear. No doubt. I feared but one thing, that
they might run in different directions, that they
might invent some new life, and thus deprive me
of material proof, and of the sorrowful joy of
punishing, yes, of executing them.
“And to surprise them more quickly, I started
on tiptoe for the dining-room, not through the
parlor, but through the hall and the children's
rooms. In the first room slept the little boy.
In the second, the old nurse moved in her bed,
and seemed on the point of waking, and I won-
dered what she would think when she knew all.
And pity for myself gave me such a pang that I
could not keep the tears back. Not to wake the
children, I ran lightly through the hall into my
study. I dropped upon the sofa, and sobbed.
‘I, an honest man, I, the Son of my parents,
who all my life long have dreamed of family
happiness, I who have never betrayed . . .
And here my five children, and she embrac-
ing a musician because he has red lips | No,
The Kreutzer Sonata 129
she is not a woman She is a bitch, a dirty
bitch | Beside the chamber of the children,
whom she had pretended to love all her
life And then to think of what she wrote me !
And how do I know 2 Perhaps it has always
been thus. Perhaps all these children, sup-
posed to be mine, are the children of my ser-
vants. And if I had arrived to-morrow, she
would have come to meet me with her coiffure,
with her corsage, her indolent and graceful move-
ments (and I see her attractive and ignoble feat-
ures), and this jealous animal would have re-
mained forever in my heart, tearing it. What
will the old nurse say? And Gregor : And the
poor little Lise 2 She already understands things.
And this impudence, this falsehood, this bestial
sensuality, that I know so well,' I said to myself.
“I tried to rise. I could not. My heart was
beating so violently that I could not hold myself
upon my legs. “Yes, I shall die of a rush of
blood. She will kill me. That is what she
wants. What is it to her to kill 2 But that
would be too agreeable to him, and I will not
allow him to have this pleasure. Yes, here I
am, and there they are. They are laughing,
they . . . Yes, in spite of the fact that she is no
longer in her early youth, he has not disdained
her. At any rate, she is by no means ugly, and
above all, not dangerous to his dear health, to
him. Why did I not stifle her then º' said I to
I3O The Kreutger Sonata
myself, as I remembered that other scene of the
previous week, when I drove her from my study,
and broke the furniture.
“And I recalled the state in which I was then.
Not only did I recall it, but I again entered into
the same bestial state. And suddenly there
came to me a desire to act, and all reasoning,
except such as was necessary to action, vanished
from my brain, and I was in the condition of a
beast, and of a man under the influence of physi-
cal excitement pending a danger, who acts im-
perturbably, without haste, and yet without losing
a minute, pursuing a definite object.
“The first thing that I did was to take off my
boots, and now, having only stockings on, I ad-
vanced toward the wall, over the sofa, where fire-
arms and daggers were hanging, and I took down
a curved Damascus blade, which I had never
used, and which was very sharp. I took it from
its sheath. I remember that the sheath fell upon
the sofa, and that I said to myself: “I must look
for it later ; it must not be lost.’
“Then I took off my overcoat, which I had
kept on all the time, and with wolf-like tread
started for the room. I do not remember how I
proceeded, whether I ran or went slowly, through
what chambers I passed, how I approached the
dining-room, how I opened the door, how I en-
tered. I remember nothing about it.
The Kreutzer Sonata I3 I
XXVII.
“I REMEMBER only the expression of their
faces when I opened the door. I remember
that, because it awakened in me a feeling of sor-
rowful joy. It was an expression of terror, such
as I desired. Never shall I forget that desper-
ate and sudden fright that appeared on their
faces when they saw me. He, I believe, was at
the table, and, when he saw or heard me, he
started, jumped to his feet, and retreated to the
sideboard. Fear was the only sentiment that
could be read with certainty in his face. In
hers, too, fear was to be read, but accompanied
by other impressions. And yet, if her face had
expressed only fear, perhaps that which hap-
pened would not have happened. But in the
expression of her face there was at the first mo-
ment—at least, I thought I saw it — a feeling
of ennui, of discontent, at this disturbance of her
love and happiness. One would have said that
her sole desire was not to be disturbed in the mo-
ment of her happiness. But these expressions
appeared upon their faces only for a moment.
Terror almost immediately gave place to interro-
gation. Would they lie or not? If yes, they
must begin. If not, something else was going to
happen. But what?
“He gave her a questioning glance. On her
I32 The Kreußer Somaža
face the expression of anguish and ennui changed,
it seemed to me, when she looked at him, into an
expression of anxiety for him. For a moment
I stood in the doorway, holding the dagger hid-
den behind my back. Suddenly he smiled, and
in a voice that was indifferent almost to the point
of ridicule, he said:
“‘We were having some music.’
“‘I did not expect-', she began at the same
time, chiming in with the tone of the other.
“But neither he nor she finished their remarks.
The same rage that I had felt the previous week
took possession of me. I felt the need of giving
free course to my violence and ‘the joy of wrath.’
“No, they did not finish. That other thing
was going to begin, of which he was afraid, and
was going to annihilate what they wanted to say.
I threw myself upon her, still hiding the dagger,
that he might not prevent me from striking where
I desired, in her bosom, under the breast. At
that moment he saw . . . and, what I did not
expect on his part, he quickly seized my hand,
and cried :
“‘Come to your senses | What are you doing?
Help! Help !’
“I tore my hands from his grasp, and leaped
upon him. I must have been very terrible, for
he turned as white as a sheet, to his lips. His
eyes scintillated singularly, and — again what I
did not expect of him — he scrambled under the
The Kreutger Somaža I33
piano toward the other room. I tried to follow
him, but a very heavy weight fell upon my left
arm. It was she.
“I made an effort to clear myself. She clung
more heavily than ever, refusing to let go. This
unexpected obstacle, this burden, and this repug-
nant touch only irritated me the more. I per-
ceived that I was completely mad, that I must be
frightful, and I was glad of it. With a sudden
impulse, and with all my strength, I dealt her,
with my left elbow, a blow squarely in the face.
“She uttered a cry and let go my arm. I
wanted to follow the other, but I felt that it
would be ridiculous to pursue in my stockings the
lover of my wife, and I did not wish to be gro-
tesque, I wished to be terrible. In spite of my
extreme rage, I was all the time conscious of the
impression that I was making upon others, and
even this impression partially guided me.
“I turned toward her. She had fallen on the
long easy chair, and, covering her face at the
spot where I had struck her, she looked at me.
Her features exhibited fear and hatred toward
me, her enemy, such as the rat exhibits when one
lifts the rat-trap. At least, I saw nothing in her
but that fear and hatred, the fear and hatred
which love for another had provoked. Perhaps
I still should have restrained myself, and should
not have gone to the last extremity, if she had
maintained silence. But suddenly she began to
I34 The Kreutger Sonata
speak; she grasped my hand that held the dag-
ger. ºb
“‘Come to your senses | What are you doing?
What is the matter with you? Nothing has hap-
pened, nothing, nothing ! I swear it to you !’
“I might have delayed longer, but these last
words, from which I inferred the contrary of
what they affirmed,—that is, that everything had
happened,—these words called for a reply. And
the reply must correspond to the condition into
which I had lashed myself, and which was in-
creasing and must continue to increase. Rage
has its laws. .
“‘Do not lie, wretch. Do not lie ' ' I roared.
“With my left hand I seized her hands. She
disengaged herself. Then, without dropping my
dagger, I seized her by the throat, forced her to
the floor, and began to strangle her. With her
two hands she clutched mine, tearing them from
her throat, stifling. Then I struck her a blow
with the dagger, in the left side, between the
lower ribs.
“When people say that they do not remember
what they do in a fit of fury, they talk nonsense.
It is false. I remember everything. I did not
lose my consciousness for a single moment. The
more I lashed myself to fury, the clearer my
mind became, and I could not help seeing what
I did. I cannot say that I knew in advance
what I would do, but at the moment when I
The Kreußer Somaža I35
acted, and it seems to me even a little before,
I knew what I was doing, as if to make it possi-
ble to repent, and to be ablé to say later that I
could have stopped.
“I knew that I struck the blow between the
ribs, and that the dagger entered.
“At the second when I did it, I knew that I
was performing a horrible act, such as I had
never performed,— an act that would have
frightful consequences. My thought was as quick
as lightning, and the deed followed immediately.
The act, to my inner sense, had an extraordinary
clearness. I perceived the resistance of the cor-
set and then something else, and then the sink-
ing of the knife into a soft substance. She
clutched at the dagger with her hands, and cut
herself with it, but could not restrain the blow.
“Long afterward, in prison, when the moral
revolution had been effected within me, I thought
of that minute, I remembered it as far as I could,
and I co-ordinated all the sudden changes. I
remembered the terrible consciousness which I
felt, that I was killing a wife, my wife.
“I well remember the horror of that conscious-
ness, and I know vaguely that, having plunged
in the dagger, I drew it out again immediately,
wishing to repair and arrest my action. She
straightened up and cried :
“‘Nurse, he has killed me !”
“The old nurse, who had heard the noise, was
I36 The Kreutger Sonata
standing in the doorway. I was still erect, wait-
ing, and not believing myself in what had hap-
pened. But at that moment, from under her
corset, the blood gushed forth. Then only did
I understand that all reparation was impossible,
and promptly I decided that it was not even
necessary, that all had happened in accordance
with my wish, and that I had fulfilled my desire.
I waited until she fell, and until the nurse, ex-
claiming, ‘Oh, my God!’ ran to her; then only I
threw away the dagger and went out of the room.
“I must not be agitated. I must be conscious
of what I am doing,' I said to myself, looking
neither at her nor at the old nurse. The latter
cried and called the maid. I passed through the
hall, and, after having sent the maid, started for
my study.
“What shall I do now P' I asked myself.
“And immediately I understood what I should
do. Directly after entering the study, I went
straight to the wall, took down the revolver, and
examined it attentively. It was loaded. Then
I placed it on the table. Next I picked up the
sheath of the dagger, which had dropped down
behind the sofa, and then I sat down. I re-
mained thus for a long time. I thought of noth-
ing, I did not try to remember anything. I heard
a stifled noise of steps, a movement of objects
and of tapestries, then the arrival of a person,
and then the arrival of another person. Then I
The Kreutger Sonata I37
saw Gregor bring into my room the baggage from
the railway; as if any one needed it !
“‘Have you heard what has happened?” I
asked him. ‘Have you told the dvornić to
inform the police ’’
“He made no answer, and went out. I rose,
closed the door, took the cigarettes and the
matches, and began to smoke. I had not fin-
ished one cigarette, when a drowsy feeling came
over me and sent me into a deep sleep. I surely
slept two hours. I remember having dreamed
that I was on good terms with her, that after a
quarrel we were in the act of making up, that
something prevented us, but that we were friends
all the same.
“A knock at the door awoke me.
“‘It is the police,” thought I, as I opened my
eyes. “I have killed, I believe. But perhaps it
is she, perhaps nothing has happened.’
“Another knock. I did not answer. I was
solving the question: ‘Has it happened or not?
Yes, it has happened.’
“I remembered the resistance of the corset,
and then. . . . ‘Yes, it has happened. Yes, it
has happened. Yes, now I must execute my-
self,’ said I to myself.
“I said it, but I knew well that I should not
kill myself. Nevertheless, I rose and took the
revolver, but, strange thing, I remembered that
formerly I had very often had suicidal ideas, that
I38 The Kreutzer Sonata
that very night, on the cars, it had seemed to me
easy, especially easy because I thought how it
would stupefy her. Now I not only could not
kill myself, but I could not even think of it.
“‘Why do it?' I asked myself, without an-
swering.
“Another knock at the door.
“‘Yes, but I must first know who is knocking.
I have time enough.”
“I put the revolver back on the table, and hid
it under my newspaper. I went to the door and
drew back the bolt.
“It was my wife's sister, a good and stupid
widow.
“‘Basile, what does this mean 2' said she, and
her tears, always ready, began to flow.
“‘What do you want?’ I asked roughly.
“I saw clearly that there was no necessity of
being rough with her, but I could not speak in
any other tone.
“‘Basile, she is dying. Ivan Fedorowitch
says so.”
“Ivan Fedorowitch was the doctor, her doctor,
her counsellor.
“‘Is he here 2' I inquired.
“And all my hatred of her arose anew.
“Well, what?
“‘Basile, go to her Ah! how horrible it is l’
said she.
“‘Go to her P’ I asked myself; and immedi-
The Kreutzer Sonata I 39
ately I made answer to myself that I ought to go,
that probably that was the thing that is usually
done when a husband like myself kills his wife,
that it was absolutely necessary that I should go
and see her.
“‘If that is the proper thing, I must go,' I re-
peated to myself. “Yes, if it is necessary, I shall
still have time,’ said I to myself, thinking of my
intention of blowing my brains out.
“And I followed my sister-in-law. “Now there
are going to be phrases and grimaces, but I will
not yield,” I declared to myself.
“‘Wait,” said I to my sister-in-law, “it is stupid
to be without boots. Let me at least put on my
slippers.’
XXVIII.
“STRANGE thing ! Again, when I had left my
study, and was passing through the familiar
rooms, again the hope came to me that nothing
had happened. But the odor of the drugs, iodo-
form and phenic acid, brought me back to a
sense of reality.
“‘No, everything has happened.’
“In passing through the hall, beside the chil-
dren’s chamber, I saw little Lise. She was look-
ing at me, with eyes that were full of fear. I
even thought that all the children were looking
I4O The Kreuzger Somaža
at me. As I approached the door of our sleep-
ing-room, a servant opened it from within, and
came out. The first thing that I noticed was her
light gray dress upon a chair, all dark with blood.
On Our common bed she was stretched, with
knees drawn up. She lay very high, upon pil-
lows, with her chemise half open. Linen had
been placed upon the wound. A heavy smell of
iodoform filled the room. Before, and more than
anything else, I was astonished at her face, which
was swollen and bruised under the eyes and over
a part of the nose. This was the result of the
blow that I had struck her with my elbow, when
she had tried to hold me back. Of beauty there
was no trace left. I saw something hideous in
her. I stopped upon the threshold.
“‘Approach, approach her,’ said her sister.
“‘Yes, probably she repents,’ thought I;
‘shall I forgive her? Yes, she is dying, I must
forgive her,” I added, trying to be generous.
“I approached the bedside. With difficulty
she raised her eyes, one of which was swollen,
and uttered these words haltingly :
“‘You have accomplished what you desired.
You have killed me.’
“And in her face, through the physical suffer-
ings, in spite of the approach of death, was ex-
pressed the same old hatred, so familiar to me.
“‘The children . . . I will not give them to you
, all the same. . . . She (her sister) shall take
them.' . . .
The Krezzzzer Somaža I4I
“But of that which I considered essential, of
her fault, of her treason, one would have said
that she did not think it necessary to say even a
word.
“‘Yes, revel in what you have done.’
“And she sobbed,
“At the door stood her sister with the children.
“‘Yes, see what you have done l’
“I cast a glance at the children, and then at
her bruised and swollen face, and for the first
time I forgot myself (my rights, my pride), and
for the first time I saw in her a human being, a
sister.
“And all that which a moment before had
been so offensive to me now seemed to me so
petty,+ all this jealousy, and, on the contrary,
what I had done seemed to me so important that
I felt like bending over, approaching my face to
her hand, and saying :
“‘Forgive me !’
“But I did not dare. She was silent, with eye-
lids lowered, evidently having no strength to
speak further. Then her deformed face began
to tremble and shrivel, and she feebly pushed me
back.
“‘Why has all this happened Why?’
“‘Forgive me,’ said I.
“‘Yes, if you had not killed me,’ she cried
suddenly, and her eyes shone feverishly. ‘For-
giveness—that is nothing. . . . If I only do not
I42 The Kreuziger Somaža
die Ah, you have accomplished what you de-
sired 1 I hate you!”
“Then she grew delirious. She was frightened,
and cried :
“‘Fire, I do not fear . . . but strike them all
. . . He has gone. . . He has gone.' . . .
“The delirium continued. She no longer rec-
ognized the children, not even little Lise, who
had approached. Toward noon she died. As
for me, I was arrested before her death, at eight
o'clock in the morning. They took me to the
police station, and then to prison, and there,
during eleven months, awaiting the verdict, I
reflected upon myself, and upon my past, and
I understood it. Yes, I began to understand
from the third day. The third day they took me
to the house.” . . .
Posdnicheff seemed to wish to add something,
but, no longer having the strength to repress his
sobs, he stopped. After a few minutes, having
recovered his calmness, he resumed:
“I began to understand only when I saw her
in the coffin.” . . .
He uttered a sob, and then immediately con-
tinued, with haste :
“Then only, when I saw her dead face, did
I understand all that I had done. I understood
that it was I, I, who had killed her. I under-
stood that I was the cause of the fact that she,
who had been a moving, living, palpitating
The Kreuzger Somata. I43
being, had now become motionless and cold, and
that there was no way of repairing this thing.
He who has not lived through that cannot under-
stand it.”
We remained silent a long time. Posdnicheff
sobbed and trembled before me. His face had
become delicate and long, and his mouth had
grown larger.
“Yes,” said he suddenly, “if I had known
what I now know, I should never have married
her, never, not for anything.”
Again we remained silent for a long time.
“Yes, that is what I have done, that is my
experience. We must understand the real mean-
ing of the words of the Gospel,- Matthew,
V. 28,- ‘that whosoever looketh on a woman to
lust after her hath committed adultery’; and
these words relate to the wife, to the sister, and
not only to the wife of another, but especially to
one’s own wife.”
THE END.
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