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 BV 4930 .P66 1871 
 Pond, Enoch, 1791-1882 
 
 Conversion, its nature and 
 
 importance 
 
CONVERSION 
 
 ITS NATUKE AND IMPOETANCE. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED BY EXAMPLES FROM REAL LIFE. 
 
 ^/ 
 By ENOCH POND, D.D., 
 
 PROFESSOR IN THE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY, BANGOR. 
 
 APPROVED BY THE COMMITTEE OF PL'BLICATION. 
 
 BOSTON : 
 CONGREGATIONAL PUBLISHING SOCIETY, 
 
 No. 13 CORNHILL. 
 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1871, by 
 
 The Congregational Publishing Society, 
 In the OflSce of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 
 
 Stereottnied htj C. J. Peters & Son, 
 iVo.5 Washington Street. 
 
<>^ — ' — V 
 
 >- !);--:•;'; 7 1836 -^ 
 
 ooi^rrENTs. 
 
 SECTION I. PAGE. 
 
 The Nature of Contersion. Several Forms op Con- 
 version DESCRIBED 6 
 
 SECTION n. 
 Conversion of the Apostle Paiil 23 
 
 SECTION in. 
 Conversion of Augustine, Bishop of Hippo ... 36 
 
 SECTION IV. 
 Conversion of Luther • . 48 
 
 SECTION V. 
 Conversion of John Buntan 59 
 
 SECTION VI. 
 Conversion of Lady Hunt£ngton and WiiiHAM Cowper 69 
 
 SECTION vn. 
 
 Conversion of Col. Jas. Gardiner, and Andrew Fuixer 80 
 
 8 
 
4 CONTENTS. 
 
 SECTION Vm. PAGE. 
 
 Conversion of Pres. Edwards and David Brainerd . 88 
 
 SECTION IX.. 
 
 Conversion of Dr. Hopkins of Newport and Dr. Em- 
 mons 98 
 
 SECTION X. 
 
 Conversion of Samuel J. Mills, Dr. Cornelius, and 
 Rev. Sylvester Larned 105 
 
 SECTION XI. 
 
 Miscellaneous Instances, illustrating the Different 
 Forms of Conversion 117 
 
 SECTION xn. 
 
 Remarks on the Preceding Narratives . . . .133 
 
 SECTION xm. 
 
 HiNDERANCES TO CONVERSION . . . . . . .143 
 
 SECTION XIV. 
 Importance of Conversion 159 
 
 Conclusion 176 
 
CONVEBSION. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 The Nature of Conversion. — Several Forms of Con- 
 version DESCRIBED. 
 
 IT is important to explain the nature of 
 conversion, because this subject is very 
 generally misunderstood, especially by the 
 unconverted. Such persons have no experi- 
 mental knowledge of conversion, and, in 
 general, no proper conceptions of it. They 
 imagine it to be something which it is not, 
 and are often looking and striving after a 
 change, which, if accomplished, might not be 
 to them of any benefit. 
 
 Conversion is not a change in the nature^ 
 the substance^ or any of the faculties^ of the 
 soul. We need no such change as this : we 
 
 6 
 
b CONVERSION. 
 
 have no reason to expect any such change ; 
 and such a change, if accompHshed, would 
 not be conversion, and might not do us any- 
 good. 
 
 Nor is conversion a change of any kind, in 
 which the subject of it is entirely passive, 
 and for which he can do nothing but wait. 
 Most unconverted persons seem to regard the 
 change in question in this light : they regard 
 it as something in reference to which they 
 have no responsibility, have nothing to do, 
 and for which they can do nothing, but sub- 
 missively wait until the blessing is bestowed. 
 Now, there can hardly be a greater mistake 
 than tliis, or one of more disastrous influ- 
 ence. The effect of such an impression can 
 only be, to excuse and quiet the soul in sin, 
 and put off that great and needed change, 
 Avithout which we perish. 
 
 Conversion is represented in the Scriptures 
 as a change, in which the subject of it is 
 active, and jiot passive, — a change, which, 
 through the aid and influence of God's 
 Spirit, he is actively to accomplish, and 
 
CONVERSION. 7 
 
 not one for which he is quietly to wait. 
 " Turn ye, turn ye ! for why will ye die ? " 
 " Repent, and turn yourselves from all your 
 transgressions, so iniquity shall not be your 
 ruin!" 
 
 This turning, or conversion, is always pre- 
 ceded by more or less of appropriate reflec- 
 tion. Persons begin to think upon their 
 ways ; and then, — that is, if the work goes 
 on, — they turn their feet unto God's testi- 
 monies ; they begin to consider their ways, 
 and turn again unto the Lord. So it was 
 with the prodigal son : he first came to solemn 
 thought, — '^ How many hired servants of my 
 father's have bread enough, and I perish with 
 hunger ! I will arise, and go to my father." 
 Before Ephraim repented, and smote upon his 
 thigh, he was heard bemoaning himself thus : 
 " Thou hast chastised me, and I was chas- 
 tened, as a bullock unaccustomed to the 
 yoke." — Jer. xxxi. 18. 
 
 But mere thinking is not conversion ; nor 
 does it always issue in conversion. There 
 must be the turning of the heart ; and this 
 
8 CONVERSION. 
 
 brings us to the very nature of conversion, — 
 the first active turning of the souVs affections 
 unto God. 
 
 Holy affections assume different forms, and 
 have different names applied to them, accord- 
 ing as they are put forth in view of different 
 objects ; but, of whatever name or form, they 
 all possess the same general nature or charac- 
 ter. Thus, the same kind of affection, which, 
 in view of the divine character, is holy, com- 
 placent love., will, in view of personal trans- 
 gression, be repentance ; in view of Christ, as 
 a Saviour, will be faith, or trust ; in view of 
 the divine favors, it will be gratitude ; and, in 
 view of the divine government, it will be 
 submission. The object of the holy affection 
 may change, and with it the name and form 
 of the affection ; but tlie nature of it remains 
 the same. 
 
 Conversion, as I said; is the first active 
 turning of the soul's affections unto God. 
 It is the commencement of holy affections in 
 the sinner's Heart. Up to this time, his heart 
 has been entirely sinful. It has been wholly 
 
CONVERSION. 9 
 
 under the influence of self and the world : 
 so that holy affections have been entirely 
 excluded ; they have had no place there. 
 But in the moment of conversion, under 
 the influence of appropriate thought and of 
 the Holy Spirit, the first holy exercise or 
 affection is put forth ; and it matters not, so 
 far as the result is concerned, whether this 
 first holy affection be one of love, penitence, 
 submission, or faith. If it be either of them, 
 or if it be any other form of holy affection, 
 the commencement of its exercise, the first 
 putting it forth, constitutes conversion. 
 
 But though it matters not, so far as the 
 great issue is concerned, what form of holy 
 affection is first put forth, yet there will be a 
 difference in the thoughts and feelings of the 
 person converted, according as the first holy 
 affection shall be this or that. He whose 
 first holy affection is love to God will not 
 have the same experience as one whose first 
 holy affection is repentance or faith ; though 
 the conversion, in either case, may be equally 
 satisfactory. 
 
10 CONVERSION. 
 
 To illustrate this, let us now suppose sever- 
 al cases of conversion, all equally genuine, 
 but differing, circumstantially, according as 
 the first holy affection — which constitutes 
 the conversion — shall be one of love, peni- 
 tence, submission, or faith. 
 
 First, we will suppose a case of conversion 
 where the first holy exercise is one of love^ — 
 complacent love, delight in the holy character 
 of God, and gratitude for his mercies. In il- 
 lustration of this, we will suppose an individ- 
 ual, who, during the greater part of his hfe, 
 has been comparatively thoughtless of God. 
 He has thought of almost every thing else, 
 but has forgotten God ; and when, at any 
 time, he has remembered God, he has been 
 troubled, the thought has been painful to 
 him. So far from clinging to God with affec- 
 tion and interest, he shrinks away from him 
 with fear iand dislike. He would gladly hide 
 himself from God, as our guilty first parents 
 did among^ the trees of the garden. He ban- 
 ishes the unwelcome thought as soon as pos- 
 sible. The individual here supposed may not 
 
CONVERSION. 11 
 
 be an immoral man, he may not be a bad mem- 
 ber of society; but the habitual state of his 
 feelings towards God is such as has been de- 
 scribed. 
 
 But, at length, something occurs in the prov- 
 idence of God, — some striking event, it may 
 be, or the reading of some book, or the 
 hearing of an awakening sermon, or the 
 presentation of some truth or fact, — which 
 excites within him a new train of reflections. 
 He thinks of God as he never thought before. 
 His views of his character are such as he 
 never before experienced. He begins to feel 
 a delight in this character. It is a wonderful 
 character, a glorious character. It comes 
 up with new interest before his mind. He 
 wants to contemplate it all the time. He is 
 
 astonished that he has never seen it in the 
 
 « 
 
 same light before. He thinks now of the 
 goodness of God to him, and is melted under 
 a sense of it. He wants words to express his 
 gratitude to that Being who has so long borne 
 with him, and who has been so gracious and 
 merciful towards him. 
 
12 CONVERSION. 
 
 The individual here spoken of may not 
 know, at the time, what to think of these new 
 impressions and feelings. He may have no 
 thought that they are conversion, or that 
 they indicate conversion. He may have no 
 thought of himself as a converted person ; 
 but he is one. If he is not deceived as to 
 the nature of his feelings, he certainly is a con- 
 verted person. The new exercises above de- 
 scribed are not those of nature, but of grace ; 
 the springing up of which, for the first time, 
 in the sinner's heart is the moment of his 
 turning, — his conversion, — the interesting 
 moment which he will remember forever as 
 the commencement of his walk with God. 
 
 The first haly exercise in the heart of the 
 sinner is sometimes one oi penitence diJidi godly 
 sorrow ; in which case, this constitutes his 
 conversion. The subject of conversion, in 
 this form of it, has passed the Whole of his 
 previous life in sin ; not, it may be, in the 
 practice of open immoralities, but in selfish- 
 ness, in pride, in a love of the world, in 
 thoughtlessness and vanity, in forgetfulness of 
 
CONVERSION. 15 
 
 God, — in some way, in the love and prac- 
 tice of sin. And yet his sins have given him 
 very little trouble. He has had little thought 
 or anxiety in regard to them. They have not 
 been, perhaps, of the more disgraceful char- 
 acter ; at least, they have not been known to 
 be such. He has sinned in good company, 
 and in altogether a respectable way ; and he 
 • has contrived so to palliate and conceal his 
 sins, that he has had little sorrow or distress 
 on account of them. But, for some reason, 
 his thoughts, of late, have been turned into 
 a different channel. He has been led to re- 
 view his past life, and see how his account 
 stands with God. He has been led to do it 
 with considerable scrutiny ; and he is pained 
 and frightened at the result. He had no idea 
 that his sins were so numerous, or of so ag- 
 gravated a character. He had no idea that 
 they were characterized by such baseness. 
 They seem to him to be most unreasonable 
 and odious ; and he seems to himself to be a 
 vile and odious creature no account of them. 
 When he thinks of the manner in which he 
 
14 CONVERSION. 
 
 has treated God, — his ingratitude towards 
 him, his forgetfulness of him, his dishke of his 
 character, and transgression of his laws, h6 
 feels sorry and aggrieved ; he feels humbled 
 and ashamed ; he cannot bear a view of him- 
 self ; he begins to loathe and abhor himself, 
 and repent in dust and ashes. 
 
 Now, this man, instead of growing better 
 in his own opinion during the change of feel- 
 ing through which he has passed, has seemed 
 to himself to be constantly growing worse. 
 He had never such a sense of his own vileness 
 as he now has. He has no thought of conver- 
 sion, at least as having been accomplished in 
 him ; and yet, if his feelings are such as 
 have been described, he is already a convert- 
 ed person. He is a true penitent. He feels 
 as David did when he said, " Behold, I am 
 vile I " He feels as the publican did when he 
 smote upon his breast, and cried, "God be 
 merciful to me, a sinner ! " The first holy af- 
 fection of which he was conscious was one of 
 penitence ; and the begiiining of these repent- 
 ings in his heart was his conversion. 
 
CONVERSION. 15 
 
 Conversion is often the commencement of 
 true submission to God. The subject of con- 
 version, in this form of it, has always lived 
 under the government of God, and has always 
 been — though perhaps not always sensible 
 of it — unreconciled to that government. He 
 has never been truly willing that God should 
 reign over him, and do with him according 
 to his pleasure. To be sure, when God's 
 plans have been in accordance with his own 
 plans, — when God has pleased him and pros- 
 pered him, and caused his cup to overflow 
 with blessings, — he has been very happy, and 
 has felt as though he could be quite reconciled 
 to be in the hands of God ; but when God 
 has seen fit to pursue a different course with 
 him, crossing his track, blasting his hopes, 
 disappointing his expectations, and defeating 
 his cherished designs, taking from him this 
 comfort, that, and the other, and laying them 
 low, — when God has seen fit to try him in 
 this way, the secrets of his character have 
 come out : he could not repress his murmurs. 
 He said almost unconsciously, " This is a hard 
 
16 CONVERSION. 
 
 Master. These are wounds without cause." 
 His opposition, under such circumstances, has 
 risen, it may be, to such a height, that he has 
 become frightened at himself. He had no 
 idea that he had such a rebellious and wicked 
 heart. He is sure, that, with such a heart, he 
 is in no situation to enjoy God, either in this 
 world or the next ; and he is led to commune 
 with himself, to contemplate his relations 
 to God, and the claims of God upon him, as 
 he' never did before. He considers, first of 
 all perhaps, that, in visiting him with afflic- 
 tion, God has done no more than he had a 
 right to do. He remembers, too, that he de- 
 serves all these afflictions, and a great deal 
 more ; so that the divine dispensations 
 towards him, instead of being unjust, have all 
 of them been mingled with mercy. He fur- 
 ther reflects, that these dispensations, of which 
 he had been disposed to complain, were cer- 
 tainly ordered in wisdom and goodness^ and, 
 if suitably improved, would work together for 
 his good. He begins seriously to inguire 
 whether it is not a privilege to live under the 
 
CONVERSION. 17 
 
 government of God ; to be in the hands of 
 One who can make no mistakes, who can 
 indulge no ill-will towards any creature, 
 who can do no wrong thing, and whose wise 
 and good designs no enemy can ever thwart 
 or defeat. He dwells upon the subject in 
 these various lights, till at length his heart 
 begins to yield. He begins to submit to the 
 divine government. He more than submits ; 
 he rejoices in it. He rejoices that the Lord 
 God Omnipotent reigneth. He feels a pleas- 
 ure that is new to him in resigning himself 
 and all his concerns into the handsof a holy and 
 sovereign God, to be disposed of as he shall 
 see wisest and best. Now, this man has expe- 
 rienced a great and glorious change of feeling 
 in regard to the divine government; and 
 this change is conversion. It is the same 
 which we must all experience, in one form or 
 another, before we can see the kingdom of 
 God. 
 
 I present but another case, and that is, 
 where conversion is the commencement of 
 faith in Ohrist. In illustration of this, we 
 
 2 
 
18 CONVERSION. 
 
 will suppose an individual who is already 
 deeply convinced of sin. He sees himself to 
 be a guilty and lost sinner, who has no means 
 of hope or help in himself, and can discover 
 no method of deliverance from any other 
 quarter. He knows that a just sentence of 
 condemnation has been passed upon him, and, 
 for aught that appears, he must sink forever 
 under it. He has been in this state of convic- 
 tion, distress, and almost of despair, it may 
 be, for a long time, looking for light, but be- 
 hold darkness ; seeking rest, but finding none. 
 At length, some promise is opened, and applied 
 to him ; or some new light is let into the soul, 
 by the help of which he gets a view of the Sa- 
 viour. He sees him to be almighty and alto- 
 gether lovely, — just such a Saviour as his 
 perishing case requires. He sees him extend 
 his gracious arms, and hears him cry in ac- 
 cents of love, " Come unto me, all ye that labor 
 and are heavy-laden ; and I will give you rest." 
 And now he yields to the winning invitation. 
 He falls at once into Jesiis' arms. With joy 
 and gratitude, he embraces the provided 
 
conversion: 19 
 
 Saviour, and commits his sinking soul to 
 him. 
 
 I have been the more particular in describ- 
 ing and illustrating conversion under its sev- 
 eral forms, in hope that the nature of it may- 
 be understood. It will be seen that it is no 
 physical change, no passive transformation, 
 but a change in the character of our internal 
 exercises or affections, — from those which 
 are in some form sinful to those which are in 
 some form holj. And it matters little, as I 
 said, what particular form the change assumes, 
 or how it is first developed, provided it be the 
 change which has been described. The first 
 holy exercise of which the individual is con- 
 scious may be one of love, or penitence, or 
 submission, or faith: this is a circumstance 
 of little importance, provided the new exer- 
 cise be a* holy one, and be followed out (as it 
 will be) by newness of life and new obedience. 
 ' This new exercise, which is put forth in 
 conversion, and in the putting-forth of which 
 conversion consists, from the nature of the 
 case, is actively put forth. It can be put forth 
 
20 CONVERSION. 
 
 in no other way. It is awakened under the 
 influence of truth, and by the special opera- 
 tions of the Holy Spirit, but in perfect accord- 
 ance with the free actings of our own minds. 
 Thus, while the glory of the change in ques- 
 tion is to be devoutly ascribed to the Spirit 
 of God, the change itself is accomplished in 
 us^ and in the free and regular exercise of our 
 own faculties and powers. It is we that love ; 
 we that repent ; we that believe, submit, and 
 obey ; we that turn from our evil ways, and 
 commence walking in those ways of wisdom 
 which are pleasantness, and those paths which 
 are peace. 
 
 Though it is of little importance, so far as 
 the fact of conversion is concerned, what holy 
 exercise is first put forth, still some impor- 
 tance is to be attached to a right understand- 
 ing of this matter. Every one who has been 
 much acquainted with new converts knows 
 that their feelings vary very considerably at 
 the time of conversion, or shortly after it. To 
 some, the change is sudden and palpable ; to 
 others, the development of it is mqre gradual. 
 
CONVERSION. 21 
 
 With some there are feelings of transport, 
 amounting to ecstasy ; with others there is 
 less excitement, less intensity of joy, and more 
 that is calm, subdued, and peaceful. Now, 
 one cause of these different developments 
 lies, undoubtedly, in the different forms of 
 conversion, as they have been described. 
 Where the first holy affection is one of re- 
 pentance, the change will not be followed by 
 immediate light and joy; so far from this, 
 there will be a deep sense of sin, and godly 
 sorrow on account of it. The individual will 
 sorroiv as he never did before. It may be 
 hours and days before he begins to indulge 
 any hope, or to think of himself as a 'convert- 
 ed person. Where the first holy affection is 
 one of love or submission, the change will be 
 followed with peace, but not with transport. 
 There will be a calm reposing upon God, and 
 a quiet resignation to his will, but not an ec- 
 stasy of rejoicing. But where the first holy 
 affection is one of faith or trust in Christ, the 
 change, ordinarily, is sudden and palpable. 
 It is as a change from the darkness of mid- 
 
22 CONVERSION. 
 
 night to the light of noon ; from the depths 
 of despair to the rejoicings of hope and heaven. 
 Still the change, in the latter case, is no more 
 real than in either of the former, nor does it 
 promise to be more abiding. 
 
SECTION II. 
 
 COKYEESION OP THE APOSTIE PATJIi. 
 
 -T'TT'E have thus far illustrated the change 
 ^^ in conversion by imaginary cases. 
 In what follows, we propose to illustrate it by 
 cases taken from real life. The examples will 
 be drawn from different sources ; but they may 
 all be relied on as having actually occurred. 
 We begin with the conversion of the Apostle 
 
 Paul. 
 
 Of Paul's antecedents previous to his con- 
 version, we need not speak at length. He 
 tells us that he was " a Hebrew of the He- 
 brews," and was brought up, from his infancy, 
 in the strictest sect of the Jews' rehgion. He 
 was " a Pharisee, and the son of a Pharisee." 
 All surroundmg influences combined to make 
 him " exceedingly zealous of the law," and 
 " of the traditions of his fathers." 
 
 23 
 
24 CONVERSION. 
 
 When Saul had completed his education at 
 Tarsus, he was sent by his parents to Jerusa- 
 lem, that he might be more fully instructed 
 in the law. He attached himself to the school 
 of Gamaliel, at that time the most celebrated 
 teacher in the holy city. 
 
 It is hardly likely that Saul was at Jerusa- 
 lem during our Lord's public ministry, as he 
 never speaks of having seen liim in the flesh. 
 He may have been there at the crucifixion, and 
 also at the, succeeding Pentecost. He was 
 certainly there soon after the Pentecost, when 
 the dispute with Stephen commenced in the 
 synagogues of the foreign Jews. He proba- 
 bly took part in these disputes, and assisted in 
 bringing Stephen before the Sanhedrim for 
 trial. And, when Stephen was executed, Saul 
 was present, not as a spectator, but as an 
 accomplice in this nefarious transaction. The 
 witnesses who stoned Stephen laid down their 
 clothes at the feet of Saul. 
 
 In the persecution which immediately fol- 
 lowed, Saul was intensely active. He " made 
 havoc of the Church," binding and delivering 
 
CONVERSION. 25 
 
 into prison both men and women. He " pun- 
 ished them oft in every synagogue, and com- 
 pelled them to blaspheme ; and, being exceed- 
 ingly mad against them, he persecuted them 
 even unto strange cities." 
 
 When Saul had sufficiently vented his rage 
 at Jerusalem, he went to the high priest, and 
 desired letters to the synagogue at Damas- 
 cus,* intending, if he found any Christians 
 there^ to bring them bound into Jerusalem. 
 But, when he and his company drew near to 
 the city, their progress was suddenly and mi- 
 raculously interrupted. First of all, there 
 shone around them a great light from heaven, 
 above the brightness of the mid-day sun. 
 Overcome by it, the whole company fell pros- 
 trate on the ground together. Next followed a 
 sound like that of thunder, which was heard 
 by all, but which fell, in intelligible accents, 
 
 * The high priest at this time claimed the same authority over 
 the Jews in foreign cities, on all questions pertaming to religion, 
 which he exercised at Jerusalem. Pilate also seems to have 
 granted a general license to persecute and destroy the Christians. 
 He had crucified their Master; and he permitted the Jews to treat 
 them as they pleased. 
 
26 CONVERSION. 
 
 only on the ears of Saul. * He heard what 
 they did not hear, and saw what they did not 
 see. To them the awful sound was without 
 meaning ; but he heard the voice of the Son 
 of God. To them it was a glare of light, 
 which suddenly surrounded them; but he 
 saw Jesus whom he was persecuting. 
 
 The fact that Saul had here a vision of the 
 Son of God, perhaps like that which ap- 
 jjeared to -John on the Isle of Patmos,t is 
 to me indubitable. He often refers to it in 
 his subsequent history. " Am I not an apos- 
 tle ? Am I not free ? Have I not seen Jesus 
 Christ the Lord?'' " He was seen of Cephas, 
 then of the twelve ; . . . and, last of all, he 
 was seen of me also., as of one born out of due 
 time." Also, when Barnabas brought Paul 
 to the apostles at Jerusalem, he related to 
 
 * This accounts for an apparent discrepancy in Paul's state- 
 ments of the case. In one place, he says that his companions 
 " heard a voice, but saw no man." Li another, he says, that they 
 ^^ heard not the voice of Him that spake with me." Compare 
 Acts ix. 7 with Adts xxii. 9. They heard a sound, but no in- 
 telligible words. 
 
 t Bev. i. 13-18. 
 
CONVERSION. 
 
 27 
 
 them " how he had seen the Lord in the way.'' 
 And so Ananias said to Paul, at their first 
 meeting in Damascus : " The Lord hath sent 
 me, even Jesus, ivho appeared unto thee in the 
 ivayT 
 
 The voice which Saul heard, as he lay 
 overwhelmed and prostrate on the earth, was 
 this : "• Said, Saul, why persecutest thou me ? " 
 '' And I said, ' Who art thou, Lord ? ' and the 
 Lord said, ' I am Jesus whom thou persecut- 
 est !" ' And now, if a thunderbolt had struck 
 the prostrate persecutor, he would not have 
 been more utterly confounded. He saw at 
 once what he had been doing. He saw that 
 this glorified Jesus was really what he claimed 
 to be, the Messiah of the Scriptures, whom 
 he was madly persecuting in his followers. 
 His guilt instantly flashed upon him. He 
 saw his danger and his ruin ; and he seems 
 to have submitted at once. 
 * And, if so, this settles the question as to 
 the time of Saul's conversion. It was not 
 three days afterward, when the scales fell 
 from his eyes ; but it was here, on the spot 
 
28 CONVERSION. 
 
 where he first saw the light, and heard tlie 
 voice, and met in person his glorified Redeem- 
 er. It did not take him long, under the cir- 
 cumstances, to become convicted of sin, — 
 deeply, thoroughlj^ convicted. And being as- 
 sured of the divine authority, the Messiah- 
 ship, of Jesus, and of the entire validity of his 
 claims, he seems, as I said, to have submit- 
 ted himself at once. And so, turning to his 
 heavenly visitant, he said to him, in accents 
 of faith and love, " Lord, what wilt thou 
 have me to do ? " 
 
 Tliis was a very different question from 
 that of the jailer to Paul and Silas : "Sirs, 
 what must I do to be saved? " The latter 
 was an inquiry after light and instruction as 
 to the way of salvation ; but the question of 
 Paul carried on the face of it that he was 
 now ready to do any thing : it was as much 
 as to say, "Lord, I am henceforth thy will- 
 ing servant. Wilt thou own and accept me 
 in this capacity ? I am now ready to go any- 
 where, or do any thing for jthee. . Lord, what 
 wilt thou have me to do ? " 
 
CONVERSION. 29 
 
 Having thus made his submission to Christ, 
 and given up himself to him to be his servant, 
 he -was told to arise from the earth, and go in- 
 to Damascus, and " it shall be told thee what 
 thou shalt do." So he arose in his blindness : 
 and they that were with him " led him into 
 Damascus ; and he was three days without 
 sight, neither did eat nor drink." 
 
 His feeUngs, his reflections, during these 
 three days, Paul has nowhere described : 
 perhaps he could not describe them. Neither 
 Jew nor Christian could sympathize with him. 
 He prayed and fasted in darkness and alone. 
 The recollection of scenes but recently past, 
 the thought of his own cruelty and violence, 
 the last looks of Stephen, and of others who 
 had suffered by his hands, and, raore than all, 
 his base treatment of One whom he now ac- 
 knowledged to be his Lord and Master, — all 
 these considerations crowded into his mind, 
 and made these three days equal to as 
 many years of ordinary penitence and holy 
 sorrow. 
 
 But, while he thus waited upon God, anoth- 
 
30 CONVERSION. 
 
 er vision was granted unto him. He seemed 
 to see a holy man coming in to him, and lay- 
 ing his hands upon him, that he might receive 
 his sight. At the same time, this holy man 
 — Ananias by name — was directed in a 
 vision to go out "into the street which is 
 called Straight, and inquire in the house of 
 Judas for one called Saul of Tarsus ; for, be- 
 hold, he prayeth ! " Ananias at first excused 
 himself, on account of the known character 
 of Saul, and liis bloody intent in coming to 
 the city ; but" the Lord said, " Go out and 
 find him ; for he is a chosen vessel unto me, 
 to bear my name before the Gentiles and 
 kings and the children of Israel." So Ana- 
 nias went, entered into the house of Judas, 
 and found Saul ; and, putting his hands upon 
 him, he said, " Brother Saul, the Lord, even 
 Jesus, who appeared unto thee in the way, 
 hath sent me, that thou mightest receive thy 
 sight, and be filled with the Holy Ghost. 
 And imme.diately there fell from his eyes as it 
 had been scales," — fibrous incrustations, oc- 
 casioned by the intense light which he had 
 
. CONVERSION. 31 
 
 seen in the way. '' And he received sight 
 forthwith, and arose, and was baptized." 
 
 Paul thus became a member of the Christ- 
 ian Church, and entered at once upon the 
 great work of his life, — that of preaching 
 Christ to his dying fellow-men. He went 
 first into the synagogues of Damascus, and 
 " confounded the Jews that dwelt there, prov- 
 ing that Jesus is the very Christ." And, 
 when they would not receive his testimony, 
 but sought to kill him, he retired into North- 
 ern Arabia, where he spent two or three 
 years. — Gal. i. 17. 
 
 How Paul passed his time during this sea- 
 son of retirement, we do not know. Doubt- 
 less much of it was spent in meditation and 
 devotion, in communion with Christ, and re- 
 ceivin^r revelations from him. It was during: 
 this period that he " was caught up into the 
 third heavens," — into " the paradise of God," 
 and heard those unspeakable words, " which 
 it is not lawful for a man to utter." It was 
 during this period that he w^as supernatural- 
 ly instructed in regard to the truths and facts 
 
32 CONVERSION. 
 
 of the gospel, which he expressly tells us he 
 did not receive frora man, but by the revela- 
 tion of Jesus Christ. 
 
 As we here speak only of the conversion of 
 Paul, it is not necessary to follow him in his 
 future course of toil and peril in the service 
 of his di^dne Master: suffice it to say, that 
 he never faltered in his course, but persisted 
 in it, through every form of opposition and 
 persecution, until he obtained his crown ; thus 
 proving that his conversion was a reahty, and 
 that his religion could endure the severest 
 tests. At the close of a long life, and in the 
 near prospect of a violent death, he was en- 
 abled to say, '^ I am now ready to be offered ; 
 and the time of my departure is at hand. I 
 have fought a good fight ; I have finished my 
 course ; I have kept the faith. Henceforth, 
 there is laid up for me a crown of righteous- 
 ness, which -the Lord, the righteous Judge, 
 shall give me at that day." 
 
 In thinking of the conversion of Paul, it is 
 important that we separate it, so far as possi- 
 ble, from the circumstances connected with 
 
CONVERSION. 33 
 
 it. These were marvellous, some of them 
 mh'aculous, — as the light, the voice, the 
 vision of Christ; but the conversion itself 
 was not miraculous, nor did it differ essen- 
 tially from any other case of true conversion. 
 Peculiar circumstances were needed to arrest 
 Paul in his career of blood, to show him his 
 errors, to subdue his prejudices, to convict 
 him of his guilt and ruin, to lead him to sub- 
 mit to his Lord and Saviour, and, from being 
 an enraged persecutor, to become his willing 
 and devoted servant, — peculiar circumstan- 
 ces, I say, were needed for these purposes : 
 and they were furnished; and, under God, 
 they were effectual. But the conversion of 
 Paul did not consist in any of these attendant 
 circumstances, but in the submission of his 
 sold to Christ, — a submission brought about 
 under the influence of motives, and the ac- 
 companying influences of the Holy Spirit; 
 a submission in which he was free and active, 
 and which he may be said, under God, to 
 have accomplished himself. It was he that 
 submitted. It was he that, from being a bit- 
 
34 CONVERSION. 
 
 ter enemy of Christ, became his devoted ser- 
 vant and friend. But for this voluntary sub- 
 mission to Christ, the light, the voices, the 
 visions, the miracles, would have done him no 
 good. He would have risen from them all as 
 bitter an enemy as he was before. The con- 
 version of Paul, then, consisted in the volun- 
 tary submission of his whole heing to Christy 
 and did not differ essentially, as I said, from 
 any other case of genuine conversion. 
 
 God uses various methods now to bring 
 impenitent souls to the feet of the Saviour. 
 The most common means, perhaps, is the 
 preaching of the gospel ; but then God is not 
 confined to this, — at least in the ordinary 
 method of its administration. He often uses 
 other means, as worldly disappointments, the 
 example and conversation of Christians, a fit 
 of sickness, or the death of friends. I once 
 knew a man who was awakened by the sing- 
 ing bf a robin, and was afterwards converted, 
 and brought to Christ. The man to whom I 
 refer was a physician and an infidel. Return- 
 ing home one morning, from his visits to the 
 
CONVERSION. 35 
 
 sick, he rode under a great spreading tree, in 
 the top of which sat a little robin, pouring 
 forth its morning song. The thought struck 
 him that this httle bird was singing a song of 
 praise to its great Creator and Preserver, — 
 a thing which he had never done. This 
 thought was an arrow in his conscience which 
 could not be extracted. It distressed him, 
 until, as I said, he was thoroughly convinced 
 of sin, and brought to submit to Christ. But, 
 then, his conversion did not consist in the 
 singing of the buxl, or in any of his subse- 
 quent anxieties and distresses, but, as in the 
 case of Paul, in his submission to the Saviour. 
 And so it is, substantially, in every other 
 case. Conversions do not all assume the 
 same form, nor are they brought about by the 
 same means ; but they are all alike in this : 
 they consist in the turning of the heart, in 
 some form, from sin to holiness, — in a turn- 
 in^ from the love of self and the world and 
 the service of Satan to love and serve the 
 living God. 
 
SECTION III. 
 
 CON\^ERSION OF AUGUSTINE, BiSHOP OF HiPPO. 
 
 FROM the latter part of the third century 
 after Christ to the former part of the 
 fifth, there was a gradual but manifest decay 
 of vital godliness. And although, during 
 this period, God had tried his Church both by 
 judgments and mercies, — first in the terri- 
 ble fires of the Diocletian persecution, and 
 secondly by the happy revolution under Con- 
 stantine, — still, the growing evil had not 
 been effectually cured, or scarcely arrested. 
 The declension continued and increased ; dead 
 forms and unprofitable disputes were substi- 
 tuted for piety and godliness ; and it became 
 painfully evident, that true, spiritual religion 
 must ere long disappear, unless God should 
 interpose b'y his Spirit, and revive his work. 
 But, at this critical juncture, God did gra- 
 
CONVERSION. Zl 
 
 ciously interpose. His work was revived ; and 
 spiritual religion again flourished, — at least, 
 in one part of the Roman Empire. The prin- 
 cipaL instrument in this precious awakening, 
 the results of which continue even to our own 
 times, was the celebrated Augustine of Hippo, 
 of whose conversion I am now to speak. 
 
 This great man was born at Tagaste, a 
 city of Numidia, in Northern Africa, A.D. 354. 
 His father, Patricius, though nominally a ca- 
 techumen, was no better than a heathen, until 
 near the close of life. His mother, Monica, 
 was an eminently devoted Christian, who ex- 
 erted a stronoc and savins: influence over both 
 her husband and her son. Patricius died in 
 hope, at the age of forty, and left Augustine 
 to the care of his mother 4 and most watch- 
 fully and faithfully did she care for him. 
 Wherever he went, whether as a scholar or 
 teacher, she was sure to be near him : he was 
 the object of much entreaty, and of many 
 prayers ; and, after a sore trial of some sixteen 
 years from the death of his father, the bless- 
 When" she saw her son a decided 
 
38 CONVERSION. 
 
 Christian, she felt that the main object of her 
 life was gained. She was now ready to de- 
 part ; and, in a few weeks, she was summoned 
 homo. In all Christian antiquity, we have 
 not a more eminent instance than is here 
 presented of conjugal and maternal faithful- 
 ness. The great Augustine is to be classed 
 with the large number of eminent Christians 
 who have owed, not their usefulness only, 
 but their salvation, to the influence of a 
 pious mother. 
 
 Augustine's advantages of education were 
 good, and his talents of the highest order ; 
 but his early life was one of continued de- 
 bauchery and wickedness. In philosophy, 
 he was a Manichee, and by profession a 
 teacher of rhetoric and oratory. In the 
 exercise of his profession, — after spending 
 several years at Carthage, — he came to 
 Rome. Here he was attacked with • fever, 
 and brought near to death ; but he recovered 
 from it, througli the influence chiefly, as he 
 afterwards thought, of his mother's prayers. 
 From Rome, he went to Milan, which was at 
 
CONVERSION. 39 
 
 that time the residence of the emperor. He 
 here became acquainted with Ambrose, 
 Bishop of Milan, — one of the most eloquent 
 preachers of the age. " I conceived an 
 affection for him," says Augustine, " not as a 
 teacher of the truth, but as a kind and 
 agreeable friend. I studiously attended his 
 lectures, but only to criticise his rhetoric, 
 and see whether fame had done justice to 
 him as an orator. I concerned not myself 
 about his sentiments, but only with his 
 manner and lang^uaG^e. 
 
 " Still, the ideas which I strove to neglect 
 forced themselves upon my mind ; and I was 
 gradually brought to listen to the bishop's 
 doctrine. I found reason to rebuke myself 
 for the hasty conclusions I had formed as to 
 the indefensible claims, of the Old Testa- 
 ment. Many of the difficulties which the 
 Manichees had started in respect to it found 
 an easy solution in the expositions of Am- 
 brose. The possibility of finding truth in 
 the Church of Christ, of which I had years 
 before despaired, was forced upon me ; and I 
 
40 CONVERSION. 
 
 began to consider by what arguments I 
 mi2:ht conviet Manicheism of falsehood." 
 
 It should have been enough to convict a 
 thoughtful man like Augustine of the 
 falsehood of Manicheism, that it exerted no 
 favorable influence upon the character. He 
 was himself living in some of the grossest 
 sins, and yet fancied himself, as to his higher 
 nature^ perfectly pure, charging the entire 
 blame of the evils he perpetrated upon a 
 fleshly nature which sinned in him. 
 
 The difficulties which rose at this time in 
 the mind of Augustine, and stood in the way 
 of his conversion, were partly speculative, 
 and partly practical. The errors of the 
 Manichean philosophy had become so in- 
 grained, incorporated, in his whole interior 
 being, that -he found it difficult to eradicate 
 them. When banished, as he hoped forever, 
 they would return, to try and torture _ him 
 anew. They rose up within him like 
 towers and bastions, to resist the entrance 
 of gospel truth. 
 
 But his most desperate struggle was not 
 
CONVERSION. 41 
 
 with these, but with his debased feeUngs, and 
 his corrupt practices and habits. His convic- 
 tions of sin were deep and painful, — I had 
 almost said terrible. He has detailed them 
 at length in his '' Confessions," — a work well 
 worthy the study of the child of God in 
 every age. 
 
 At lenc>"th there remained but a sinofle 
 obstacle in the way of his entering the king- 
 dom of Christ, and that was his long -in- 
 dulged and easily-besetting sin of unchastity. 
 The way in which he grappled with this, and 
 overcame it, and thus entered the kingdom 
 as it were by violence, must be given in his 
 own words. 
 
 " In the agitation of my spirit, I retired 
 into the garden, knowing how e\dl I was, 
 but ignorant of the good which God had in 
 store for me. With vehement indignation, I 
 rebuked my sinful spirit, because it would 
 not give up itself to God. I found that I 
 wanted a will. Still I was restrained ; and 
 the Spirit was urgent upon me with severe 
 mercy. My old mistresses shook my vesture 
 
42 CONVERSION. 
 
 of flesh, and whispered, 'Are we, then, to 
 part, — to part forever? And canst thou live 
 without us ? ' On the other hand appeared 
 the chaste dignity of continence, ' Canst thou 
 not,' said she, ' perform what many of both 
 sexes have performed, not in themselves 
 indeed, but in the strength of the Lord? 
 Cast thyself upon him : fear not ; he will not 
 suffer thee to fall.' Such was my internal 
 controversy. When deep meditation had 
 collected all my misery into the view of my 
 heart, a violent storm arose, producing a great 
 shower of tears. To give it vent, I rose up 
 hastily from my friend, Alypius, who was 
 sitting by me. The sound of my voice was 
 stifled Avith weeping ; and he remained 
 motionless in the same place. I prostrated 
 myself under a fig-tree, and, with flowing 
 tears, I thus spake : ' How long, Lord, Avilt 
 thou be angry ? Forever ? Remember not 
 my old iniquities. How long shall I persist 
 in saying to-morrow ? Why should not this 
 hour put ari end to my slavery ? ' , As I 
 thus spake and wept, in the bitterness of my 
 
CONVERSION. 43 
 
 soul, I seemed to hear a voice saying unto 
 me, ^Take up and read ; take up and read.'' I 
 took up the Epistle of Paul, which I had by 
 me, and read the following passage, which 
 first struck my eye : ' Not in rioting and 
 drunkenness, not in clambering and wanton- 
 ness, not in strife and envying ; but put ye 
 on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not pro- 
 vision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts there- 
 of.' I had no occasion to read further. 
 Immediately the struggle was ended, and 
 my fears were gone. I closed the book, 
 and, with a tranquil countenance, gave it to 
 my friend. With a serenity and composure 
 suitable to his character, he went with me to 
 my mother ; who now triumphed in the abun- 
 dant answers to her prayers. Thus thou 
 didst turn her mourning into joy." 
 
 Such was the conversion of Augustine of 
 Hippo, — a renouncing of sin; a turning from 
 it, as a loathed and accursed thinsf: and 
 coming at once into the peace and hope of 
 the gospel. After his conversion, Augustine 
 closed his school as soon as practicable, be- 
 
44 CONVERSION. 
 
 came a catechumen, and retired into the 
 countiy, enjoying, with Alypius, the sedu- 
 lous and affectionate care of his mother. 
 He was baptized by Ambrose, in the year 
 387, in the thirty-third year of his age. 
 
 Shortly after this, Augustine and his mother 
 went to Rome, intending to return into their 
 own country. While waiting for a vessel to 
 take them to Africa, this best of mothers 
 fell sick and died. She had lived to see the 
 desire of her heart accomplished in the con- 
 version and baptism of her son. She was 
 now ready to depart ; and the summons 
 came. She was buried at Ostia, the port 
 of Rome, where a small chapel still marks 
 the place of her sepulture. 
 
 Augustine was thirty-three years of age at 
 the time of his conversion. Subsequent to 
 this, he lived more than forty years, and 
 was, under- Christ, the great luminary, of the 
 Church. He wrote upon most of the great 
 doctrines of the gospel. He treated the sub- 
 ject of religion practically., solving difficult 
 questions, cases of conscience, and guiding 
 
CONVERSION. 45 
 
 inquirers in the way to heaven. He also 
 engaged in most of the controversies of the 
 times, defending the truth as it is in Jesus 
 against those who perverted and opposed it. 
 His controversy with Pelagius was no other 
 than a struggle for evangelical religion against 
 one who was laboring for its overthrow. 
 
 It is sometimes said that Augustine was 
 led to adopt his peculiar opinions on the sub- 
 jects of depravity, predestination, and grace 
 in consequence of his controversy with Pela- 
 gius ; but the truth is, he was led into the 
 controversy with Pelagius in consequence of 
 his holding and revering these sentiments. 
 He learned them in the Bible, and in his 
 own conscious experience. He was taught 
 them by the Holy Ghost ; and it may be 
 clearly shown that he came to the knowledge 
 and profession of them at least ten years 
 previous to the Pelagian controversy. 
 
 Aus^ustine lived to see Northern Africa 
 
 CD 
 
 overcomie, and his beloved Hippo besieged 
 by the ruthless vandals. In the prospect of 
 approaching trials and sufferings, it was his 
 
46 CONVERSION. 
 
 daily prayer, either that God would deliver 
 the city, or that he would give his servants 
 grace to endure all that might be indicted, or 
 that he might himself be taken out of the 
 world. In the last particular, and we hope 
 in the two last, his prayer was heard. In 
 the third month of the siege, which lasted 
 fourteen months in all, Augustine was seized 
 with a fever, which terminated his life. He 
 died, A.D. 429, in the seventy-sixth year of 
 his age, and the fortieth of his ministry. 
 
 Between Augustine and the apostle Paul, 
 there were some strong points of resem- 
 blance. Both had been virulent enemies 
 of the gospel in their younger days. Both 
 had been arrested by omnipotent grace, had 
 been deeply convinced of sin, and had been 
 thoroughly renewed and changed ; and, af- 
 ter conversion, both became the heralds and 
 champions of the same system of doctrines, 
 — tlie doctrines of grace. It was Paul's vo- 
 cation to combat the errors of his times, and 
 lay down a platform of evangelical doctrine 
 which can never be destroyed. And in a 
 
CONVERSION. 47 
 
 time of general declension, when these doc- 
 trines had been obscured, and dead formalism 
 was rising up to take tlieir place, it was 
 Augustine's vocation to combat the errors of 
 his times, and bring back the doctrines of 
 the great apostle to something like their 
 original place and purity. It was his voca-' 
 tion to inculcate and. diffuse these doctrines, 
 and so to sound the gospel trump that its 
 eclio has reverberated through all the inter- 
 vening ages to the present time. 
 
 We would not be understood as indorsing 
 every expression or every sentiment which 
 occurs in the voluminous works of Augus- 
 tine : far from it ; but we have no hesita- 
 tion in saying, that probably no one has 
 lived, since the days of Paul, the influence of 
 whose writings upon the religious world has 
 been so great, so enduring, and, on the 
 whole, so happy, as those of the renowned 
 Bishop of Hippo. 
 
SECTION IV. 
 
 Conversion of Luther. 
 
 IN speaking of the conversion of Luther, 
 it will not be necessary to go into all the 
 particulars of his early life. He was the son 
 of a poor miner, and was born at Eisleben, 
 in Saxony, Nov. 10, 1483. His early educa- 
 tion was chiefly accomplished at a school in 
 Eisenach, where he remained several years. 
 He was at this time very poor, and, like sev- 
 eral others, was under the necessity of beg- 
 ging his bread. One day, when he had been 
 repulsed from several houses, and was about 
 to return fasting to his lodgings, a lady by 
 the name of Cotta opened her door .to him, 
 and invited him to come and live at' her 
 house. In after life, Luther used to speak 
 of this woman as " the Christian Shunam- 
 mite ; " and it was with reference to her that 
 
 48 
 
CONVERSION. 49 
 
 he said, " There is nothing sweeter than the 
 heart of a pious woman." 
 
 Luther remained in the family of Cotta 
 two or three years; and they were among 
 the happiest years of his life. At the age 
 of eighteen, he entered the University of 
 Erfurth, where he gave some attention to the 
 scholastic pliilosophy, but applied himself 
 chiefly to the study of the Latin classics. 
 He was at this period a thoughtful young 
 man, and continually invoked the divine bless- 
 ing upon his studies. It had become a 
 proverb with him, wdien not more than 
 eighteen years old : " Bene precasse est bene 
 studuisse,'' — "To pray well is the better 
 half of study." 
 
 When Luther had been two years at the 
 university, as he was one day in the library 
 turning over books, and reading the title- 
 pages, he accidentally came upon a Latin 
 Bible. It was a rare book. He had never 
 seen one before in his life. He was aston- 
 ished to find that the Bible contained so 
 many more books and chapters than he had 
 
 4 
 
50 CONVERSION. 
 
 before heard of. With feelings unutterable, 
 he turned over its pages, and exclaimed, 
 " Oh, that I might have such a book for 
 my own ! " 
 
 After taking his academical degrees, Lu- 
 ther yielded to the wishes of his father, and 
 entered upon the study of law ; but God 
 had a different purpose respecting him, and. 
 this purpose he began early to manifest. 
 The conscience of Luther was not at ease : 
 he knew that religion was the one thing 
 needful, and that his first care should be for 
 the salvation of his soul ; and he was led to 
 resolve that he would do all in his power to 
 secure a well-grounded hope of heaven. 
 The |:>roz;fcZe?2cgs of God occurring around 
 him went to confirm him in this resolution. 
 He was deeply^ affected by the sudden death 
 of one of his college friends, but more so by 
 a terrible storm of thunder, Avhich had well 
 nigh proved fatal to himself. As the winds 
 roared, and the lightnings flashed, and the 
 bolt of heaVen struck close by his side, he 
 fell on his knees, thinking that his last hour 
 
CONVERSION. '51 
 
 had come. And here he made a solemn vow, 
 that, if God would appear for his deliverance, 
 he would renounce the world, and devote 
 himself entu'ely to his service. God did ap- 
 pear for his dehverance ; and Luther, in his 
 ignorance, knew no way in which his vow 
 could be performed, and that hohness which 
 he sought could, be secured, but by entering 
 a cloister. He must literally forsake the 
 world, and bury himself in the seclusion of 
 some one of the monastic orders. 
 
 The next we hear of him, he is in the con- 
 vent of the Augustinian friars at Erfurth. 
 The friends of Luther were greatly surprised 
 at the step he had taken ; and more espe- 
 cially was this the case with his honored 
 father. He had exerted himself to the ut- 
 most to support his son at the university, 
 hoping to see him a learned barrister or 
 statesman, and filling a large space in the 
 eyes of the world; and now, by one fatal 
 step, all his ambitious projects were over- 
 thrown. He wrote an angry letter to his 
 son, threatening him, if he persisted, with 
 
52 CONVERSION. 
 
 the entire loss of his favor, and with being 
 utterly disinherited from a father's love. 
 After a while, however, the feelings of the 
 father softened ; and he reluctantly submitted 
 to that which he had no power to avert. 
 
 The monks, at the first, were exceedingly 
 complaisant to the new-comer, applauding 
 his decision, his renunciation of the world. 
 Ere long, however, they began to treat him 
 harshly, and to impose upon him the most 
 menial services. Nevertheless, he bore it all 
 with patience, and the more so, as he hoped, 
 by self-mortification, to acquire that humility 
 and holiness, in pursuit of which he had be- 
 come an inmate of the cloister. 
 
 Luther found in the convent, as he had 
 in the university, a Latin Bible, to which he 
 had recourse daily. . He began at this time 
 to study the sacred books in the original 
 tongues, and thus prepare himself, without 
 knowing it, for the most perfect and useful 
 of all his works, — his translation of the 
 Bible into German. 
 
 But it was not so n\uch for study" that 
 
CONVERSION. 53 
 
 Luther had renounced the world, and im- 
 mured himself in the recesses of the cloister : 
 it was that he might crucify the flesh, se- 
 cure the remission of sins, and be made holy. 
 He was very punctual, therefore, in observing 
 all the prescribed penances and rules. He 
 spared neither fastings, macerations, nor 
 vigils. On one occasion, he passed seven 
 whole weeks almost entirely without sleep. 
 A little bread and a single herring were often 
 his only food ; but, the more he tortured 
 himself, the more anxious he became. He 
 had formed some conception now of what it 
 is to be holy ; and he was distressed at find- 
 ing, neither in his heart nor his life, any 
 appearance of that hoUness which he saw to 
 be needful. Those around him directed him 
 to perform good works, and in this way to 
 satisfy the divine justice ; but " what good 
 works," said he, " can proceed out of a heart 
 like mine ? How can I, with works polluted 
 even in their source and motive, stand before 
 a holy Judge ? " 
 
 Luther was, at this period, greatly agitated 
 
54 CONVERSION. 
 
 and distressed. He moved like a spectre 
 through the long aisles of his cloister, uttering 
 only sighs and groans. He found to his sor- 
 row, that, though by entering the convent 
 he had procured a change of raiment, he 
 had experienced no change of heart. He 
 performed penances, repeated prayers, and 
 confessed daily ; but all was of no use : the 
 burthen was still upon his spirit, and naught 
 that he had power to do could remove it. 
 Under the anguish of his mind, his bodily 
 powers failed, his strength forsook him, and 
 he was rapidly drawing to the gates of death. 
 On one occasion he was found on the floor, 
 in a state of entire unconsciousness ; and it 
 was a long time before he could be restored. 
 Thus hardly and terribly did this poor sinner 
 suffer, in ignorance of the true method of 
 salvation, to work out a righteousness of 
 his own. 
 
 But the day of his deliverance was - at 
 hand. John Staupitz, the vicar-general of 
 the Augustinians in Germany, made a visit 
 to Erfurth. He had passed thrdugh troubles 
 
CONVERSION-. oo 
 
 very similar to those of Luther, and had 
 found deliverance in Christ. He was the 
 very person, therefore, to deal with Luther ; 
 and he instructed him in the most prudent 
 and faithful manner. He directed his 
 thoughts away from himself, and led them 
 up to the cross of Christ. '' Instead of tor- 
 turing yourself for your faults, cast yourself 
 into the arms of the Redeemer. Trust in 
 him, in the spotless righteousness of his 
 life, and the expiatory sacrifice of his death. 
 Do not shrink away from God. He is not 
 against you: it is you rather who are es- 
 tranged and averse from him." 
 
 These were strange words to the ears of 
 Luther. He listened, and pondered, and 
 listened again. He flew to the Scriptures, 
 and consulted all the passages relating to 
 conversion and justification; and he found 
 that it was even so as his friend had said. A 
 new light now began to enter his mind, and 
 new consolations sprang up in his soul. 
 " Yes," he exclaimed, " there is hope in 
 Christ. It is Christ himself that comforts 
 
56 CONVERSION. 
 
 me with these sweet and precious words." 
 The first religious exercises of Luther seem 
 to have been those of faith and trust ; but 
 these were soon followed by the meltings of 
 true penitence. " Formerly, there was 
 naught in the Bible more bitter to me than 
 the thought of repentance ; but now there is 
 nothing more pleasant and sweet. All those 
 scriptures which once alarmed me seem now 
 to flow together, and smile and play around 
 my heart. Oh, how blessed are all God's 
 precepts, when we read them not in books 
 alone, but in the faith of Christ ! " 
 
 But these consolations of Luther were 
 not without seasons of interruption. Sin 
 was again felt upon his tender conscience ; 
 and then he relapsed into his former troubles. 
 " Oh, my sin, my sin ! " he one day ex- 
 claimed in the presence of Staupitz, and in a 
 tone of the. bitterest agony. ".Well," 
 replied the latter, " would you be only' the 
 semblance of a sinner, and have only the 
 semblance of a Saviour ? Know that Jesus 
 Christ is the Saviour of those who are real 
 
CONVERSION. 57 
 
 and great sinners, and deserving of utter 
 condemnation." 
 
 Luther had trouble at this time, not only 
 with the state of his heart, but with some of 
 the higher doctrines of the gospel. He 
 wished to penetrate the deep things of God, 
 to unveil their mysteries, and comprehend the 
 incomprehensible. But his friend Staupitz 
 checked him. He told him that he must 
 understand the plainer things first. He must 
 not attempt to fathom God, but confine him- 
 self to what of his character is revealed in 
 Christ. We cannot understand God, except 
 through Christ. 
 
 Before leaving the convent, the vicar- 
 general gave Luther a Bible, and directed 
 him to the diligent and persevering study of 
 it. Better advice than this was never given; 
 nor was any advice ever more faithfully 
 followed. The mind of Luther was now in 
 a state to receive and love the truth. It was 
 to him as cold water to a thirsty soul. The 
 soil of his heart had been thoroughly 
 ploughed ; and in it the incorruptible seed 
 
58 CONVERSION. 
 
 took deep root. It sprang up, and brought 
 forth fruit an hundred-fold. 
 
 From this time, Martin Luther was a new 
 man, and entered upon a new spiritual life. 
 He was soon removed from the convent to 
 his professorship at Wittemburg, and there 
 entered upon his contest " with spiritual 
 wickedness in high places ; " and this contest 
 he pursued, before legates and pontiffs, 
 nobles and diets, emperors and kings, until 
 half Europe was emancipated from papal 
 bondage, until the word of the Lord had 
 free course among the nations, ran, and was 
 gloFified. Yet, from every step of his tri- 
 umphant progress, he could look back upon 
 the change accompUshed in him at Erfurth 
 as the turning-point in his eventful history, 
 the beginning of his great usefulness, the 
 commencement of his walk with God. 
 
SECTION V. 
 
 COKVERSION OF JoHN BUNYAN. 
 
 THE " ingenious dreamer " began to 
 dream almost as soon as he was born.* 
 "Even in my cbildliood," says be, "tbe Lord 
 did scare me with dreams, and terrify me 
 with fearful visions. Once I dreamed that 
 the end of the world was come, and that 
 the earth quaked, and opened its mouth to 
 receive me. Again, I dreamed that I was 
 di'opping into the flames among the damned, 
 and that a person in white raiment suddenly 
 plucked me, as a brand, out of the fire." 
 
 Though these di-eams must have made 
 some impression on the child, they did not 
 restrain him from the paths of sin. He 
 grew up in the indulgence of the grossest 
 
 * Bunyan was born at Elstow, near Bedford, England, in the 
 year 1628. 
 
 59 
 
60 CONVERSION. 
 
 vices, — lying, stealing, profane swearing, , 
 sabbath-breaking, and the like. Yet he 
 was not without some special restraints. 
 One day, while at play with his wicked com- 
 panions, a voice seemed to come to him from 
 above : " Wilt thou leave thy sins, and go to 
 heaven; or have thy sins, and go to hell?" 
 This put him into such consternation that he 
 was constrained to leave his sports ; and, look- 
 ing up to heaven, he thought he saw the Lord 
 Jesus looking down upon him, and severely 
 threatening him for his ungodly practices. 
 
 At another time, while belching out blas- 
 phemies, he was rebuked by a woman who 
 was herself a notorious sinner. " She told 
 me that I was the ungodliest fellow for 
 swearing that she ever heard in all her life, 
 and that I was enough to spoil all the youth 
 in the town, if they but came in my com- 
 pany. "At this reproof," says Bunyan, "I 
 was silenced, and put to shame, and that, too, 
 before the God of heaven. For somehow or 
 other, from this time I left off swearing : and, 
 not only so, I undertook to reform my life ; 
 
CONVERSION. 61 
 
 and in this I so far succeeded that I really 
 thought I pleased God as well as any man in 
 England. My neighbors, too, did take me 
 for a very godly man, and did marvel much 
 at so great an alteration in my life and 
 manners : and this gratified me exceedingly ; 
 for, though I was nothing but a poor, painted 
 hypocrite, I loved to be talked of as one that 
 was truly godly." 
 
 But this self-righteousness and self-com- 
 placence did not last long. Very soon it 
 was most effectually broken up ; and Bunyan 
 tells us how it was done. " Being at work 
 at my trade " (which was that of a tinker), 
 "in one of the streets of Bedford, I saw 
 several poor women sitting at the door of a 
 house, and talking about the things of God. 
 I drew near enough to hear what was said ; 
 but, though I heard, I understood not : their 
 talk was about the new birth, and the work 
 of God in their hearts. They told of their 
 miserable state by nature, and how God had 
 visited their souls with his love in Clirist 
 Jesus, and with what words of promise they 
 
62 CONVERSION. 
 
 had been refreshed, comforted, and supported 
 agamst the temptations of Satan ; and me- 
 thought they spoke with such pleasantness 
 of Scripture language, and with such an ap- 
 pearance of grace in all that they said, that 
 they were to me as if they had found a new 
 world. 
 
 " After hearing them a while, I left 
 them, but not without the most serious mis- 
 givings as to my own spiritual state ; for I 
 was sure that I knew nothing of the new 
 birth, nor of the comforts of .the words of 
 promise, nor of the deceitfulness and 
 treachery of my own wicked heart." 
 
 Bunyan was so much interested in the con- 
 versation of these women, that he frequently 
 sought their company ; and, the more he saw 
 and heard them, the more he was satisfied 
 that he had no religion. This thought filled 
 him with terror and distress-; and now, for 
 several years, he was a miserable being, the 
 sport of his impressions, and of manifold temp- 
 tations. Like most of the pious people 
 among whom he dwelt, he laid great stress. 
 
CONVERSION. G3 
 
 upon particular thoughts darted into his mind, 
 or upon passages of Scripture suddenly 
 brought to his recollection. If these were 
 favorable to him, he Avould have a httle hope, 
 not that he was already converted, but that 
 at some time he might be. But if these were 
 against him, as they generally were, then he 
 was in black despair : he was not one of the 
 elect ; or he was given up of God, and liis 
 day of grace was past ; or he had committed 
 the unpardonable sin. During much of this 
 time, he durst not pray for himself, nor durst 
 he ask others to pray for him ; since, for those 
 who have committed the sin unto death. 
 Christians are not allowed to pray (1 John 
 V. 16). 
 
 We never read this part of Bunyan's spir- 
 itual history, as detailed by himself, without 
 longing to be near him, that we might whis- 
 per a word of instruction and consolation in 
 his ear. Strange, that with the plain direc- 
 tions of the Bible open before him, " Repent, 
 and be converted, that your sins may be blot- 
 ted out ; " " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, 
 
64 CONVERSION. 
 
 and thou shalt be saved," — he should turn 
 away from such precious offers, and be driven 
 akiiost to desperation by the suggestions of 
 the wicked one. 
 
 But at length, to use his own language, 
 "the time of comfort came. I heard one 
 preach from these words : ' Behold, thou art 
 fair, my love ; behold, thou art fair ' (Cant, 
 iv. 1). The preacher dwelt much on the love 
 of Chi'ist for his people. He loved them 
 when under temptation and desertion ; loved 
 them when they were hated of . the world. 
 As I was going home, these words were much 
 in my thoughts, and began to kindle in my 
 spuit, ' Thou art my love, thou art my. love.' 
 As they ran through my mind twenty times 
 over, they waxed stronger and warmer ; and 
 I began to look up, I began to give place to 
 the blessed word ; and I said, ' Thou art my 
 love, thou art my love ; £ind nothing shull ever 
 separate thee from my love.'' And with that 
 my heart was filled fidl of comfort and hope ; 
 and now I would believe that my sins would 
 all be forgiven me : yea, I was now so taken 
 
CONVEBSION. 65 
 
 with the love and mercy of God, that I could 
 scarcely contain till I got home. I thought I 
 could have spoken of Christ's love, and have 
 told of his mercy to me, even to the very 
 crows that sat upon the ploughed land before 
 me, had they been capable of understanding 
 me. Wherefore I said in my soul, with much 
 gladness, ' Oh that I had a pen and ink here ! 
 I would write this down before I go any fur- 
 ther ; for surely I cannot forget this in forty 
 years.' " 
 
 Here, evidently, was the conversion of 
 Bunyan; and it consisted in the gushing 
 forth of love, — love to God and love to the 
 Saviour, — complacent, grateful love for their 
 infinite love and mercy towards him. 
 
 Still, the trials of Bunyan were not ended. 
 In his state and habit of mind, this was 
 not to be expected. It was not long 
 before his temptations returned; and he 
 was tossed and buffeted by them for many 
 months. At one time, he was tempted to 
 deny the existence of God, and the truth 
 and inspiration of the Bible. At another 
 
66 CONVERSION. 
 
 time, he thought himself possessed of the 
 devil ; and then that he had sinned against 
 the Holy Ghost. If he attempted to pray, 
 he felt the devil behind him, pulling his 
 clothes, and trying to stop him. He was 
 once beset with the temptation to sell his 
 Saviour, as Judas did ; and the thought kept 
 runnmg in his mind night and day : " Sell 
 him, sell him, sell him ! " And because 
 once, in his desperation, he had allowed 
 the thought to escape him, " Let him go, if 
 he will," he suffered for a long time all the 
 horrors of despair. He had done just as 
 Esau did, sold his birthright ; and, like Esau, 
 he could find no place for repentance. He 
 had sold his Saviour for less than Judas re- 
 ceived, and deserved a greater damnation. 
 
 It is not to be understood, however, that 
 these temptations constantly prevailed. At 
 times he was relieved ; hope beamed upon 
 him ; and his heart was filled with love and 
 joy. He had great comfort in reading 
 " Luther's Commentary on the Galatians." 
 His first love was restored to him ; and h$ 
 
CONVERSION. 67 
 
 was enabled to say, " I loved Christ dearty. 
 My soul clung to him ; my affections cleaved 
 to him : I felt my love to him as hot as fire." 
 
 Nor were the temptations of Bunyan, 
 while they lasted, altogether without profit. 
 They gave him a knowledge of his own 
 heart, and qualified him to deal with others 
 in like circumstances. They prepared him 
 to write " The Pilgrim's Progress " and 
 " The Holy War ; " and no one can fully 
 understand these precious allegories, without 
 first learning the experience of their author, 
 as detailed in his " Grace abounding to the 
 Chief of Sinners." 
 
 When the mind of Bunyan had become in 
 some measure settled, he joined the Baptist 
 church in Bedford; and in the year 1656, 
 when he was twenty-eight years old, he be- 
 gan to preach the everlasting gospel ; and in 
 this work he persevered, — except that, for 
 doing it, he was twelve years shut up in 
 Bedford jail, — to the end of life. He 
 was a burning and shining light while he 
 lived; and his light still shines, though he 
 
68 CONVERSION. 
 
 has been a hundred years dead. He had 
 man}^ souls given hnn as the seals of his 
 ministry, and secured a name and fame 
 among his brethren which will never be for- 
 gotten. 
 
SECTION VI. 
 
 Conversion of Lady Huntington and William CJowper. 
 LADY HUNTINGTON. 
 
 SELINA SHIRLEY, afterwards Lady 
 Huntington, was the second daughter 
 of Earl Ferrars, and was born at Churtley, 
 Aug, 24, 1707. Almost from infancy, an 
 uncommon seriousness shaded the natural 
 gladness of her childhood. When only nine 
 years old, she was much affected by the 
 death and burial of one of her playmates. 
 While weeping at the grave, a deep concern 
 as to her own future state took possession 
 of her heart; and, with many tears, she 
 earnestly implored God, that, whenever he 
 should be pleased to take her away, he 
 would deliver her from all her fears, and 
 
70 CONVERSION. 
 
 give her a happy departure. She often vis- 
 ited the grave of her little friend, and ever 
 retained a lively sense of the affecting scene 
 she had there witnessed. ' 
 
 In her juvenile days, she often retired for 
 prayer to a particular closet, where she could 
 not be observed ; and in all her troubles 
 found relief in pouring out the feelings of' 
 her heart to God. 
 
 At the age of twenty-one, she was married 
 to Theophilus, Earl of Huntington, a man of 
 high and exemplary character, and thus be- 
 came allied to a family whose tastes and prin- 
 ciples coincided with her own. During the 
 first years of her married life, it was her prin- 
 cipal endeavor, amid all the splendors and ex- 
 citements of high English society, to maintain 
 a conscience void of offence. She strove to 
 fulfil the various duties of her position with 
 scrupulous exactness. She was sincere, just, 
 and upright; she prayed, fasted, and gave 
 alms ; she was courteous, considerate, and 
 charitable. Still, she was not spiritually 
 happy. " I have done virtuously," she could. 
 
CONVERSION. 71 
 
 say; "but how can I tell when I have done 
 enough ? I am sure that I have not satisfied 
 the claims of God's holy law." 
 
 Lord Huntington had several sisters, whose 
 thoughtful cast of mind made them partic- 
 ularly welcome at his house. One of these, 
 Lady Margaret Hastings, had recently been 
 converted under the ministry of Rev. Benja- 
 min Ingham, a particular friefid of the Wes- 
 leys, to whom she was afterwards married. 
 In conversation with Lady Huntington, she 
 opened to her the way of pardon and peace 
 through a crucified Sa^dour, and spoke, 
 at length, of her own blessed experience : 
 " Since I have known and believed in the 
 Lord Jesus Christ," she said, " I have been 
 as happy as an angel." This remark startled 
 Lady Huntington. It taught her, that, with 
 all her seriousness and apparent goodness, 
 she was yet a stranger to the hopes and con- 
 solations of the gospel. In her anxieties on 
 this subject, she was thrown upon a bed of 
 sickness, and brought apparently near to the 
 grave. The fear of death fell terribly upon 
 
72 CONVERSION. 
 
 her. It was to no purpose that she re- 
 minded herself of the uprightness of her 
 past life. Her best righteousness, so far 
 from justifying her before God, appeared 
 only to increase her condemnation. She 
 saw that her " heart was deceitful above all 
 things, and desperately wicked;" that "all 
 have sinned, and come short of the glory of 
 God." When upon the point of perishing, 
 in her own apprehension, the words of Lady 
 Margaret were brought home to her heart ; 
 and she felt a strong desire, renouncing 
 every other hope, to cast herself upon Christ 
 alone for pardon and salvation. To this end, 
 she lifted up her heart to God in most impor- 
 tunate prayer, and was enabled to make the 
 surrender for which she prayed. Immedi- 
 ately, all her fears and distress were re- 
 moved ; and her soul was filled with joy and 
 peace. The Sun of Righteousness arose 
 upon her, with healing in his beams. The 
 scales fell from her eyes, opening a passage 
 for the hght of hfe ; and death and darkness 
 fled before it. Viewing herself as a brand 
 
CONVERSION. 73 
 
 plucked from the burning, she could but 
 adore that grace which had snatched her 
 from the brink of ruin, and filled her soul 
 with the joy of heaven. The conversion 
 here recorded commenced in faiths and, as 
 is usual in such cases, was followed with an 
 abundance of peace. 
 
 From the moment of Lady Huntington's 
 change, her bodily disease took a favorable 
 turn. She was soon restored to health, and 
 entered at once upon a new course of hfe. 
 She became a regular attendant on the 
 preaching of the Methodists, entertained 
 them at her house, and had frequent meet- 
 ings there, to which the nobility were in- 
 vited. Even Chesterfield and Bolingbroke 
 were repeatedly present to hear Whitefield, 
 and seemed not a little affected with some of 
 his discourses. She labored for the poor as 
 well as the rich, relieved their wants, and 
 sought their happiness here and hereafter. 
 Her liberality extended beyond her own 
 church. She had correspondence with Drs. 
 Watts and Doddridge, and with other emi- 
 
74 CONVERSION. 
 
 nent dissenting ministers. She had repeated 
 interviews with the king and queen, and was 
 regarded by them with peculiar favor. 
 
 Lady Huntington experienced no opposi- 
 tion from her noble husband while he lived ; 
 but subsequent to his death, and that of the 
 most of her children, she took a more de- 
 cided stand for the gospel. After the sepa- 
 ration between Wesley and Whitefield, she 
 attached herself to the interests of the latter, 
 and became the great patron and supporter 
 of the Calvinistic Methodists. She built 
 chapels for them, supported ministers, and, 
 by the aid of opulent persons, — many of 
 them connections of her family, — estab- 
 lished a college at Travecca (in South 
 Wales) for the education of preachers. 
 This college was afterwards removed to 
 Cheshunt (Hertfordshire), where it still 
 exists. 
 
 Lady Huntington died June 17, 1791, at 
 the advanced age of eighty-four. When the 
 blood-vessel broke which was the occasion 
 of her death, she said to one of her attend^ 
 
CONVERSION. 75 
 
 ants, " I am well : all is well, — well forever. 
 Wherever I turn my eyes, whether I live or 
 die, I see nothing but victory." Almost her 
 last words were, " My work is done : I have 
 nothing now to do but to go to my Father." 
 
 WILLIAM COWPER. 
 
 Most of my readers are acquainted with 
 the early history of this gifted, amiable, but 
 often unhappy man, the author of " The 
 Task," and of some of our sweetest and 
 most beautiful hymns. He was constitution- 
 ally predisposed to melancholy and derange- 
 ment ; and while under deep con^dctions of 
 sin, especially the sin of self-murder, which 
 he had attempted, he fell into a state of com 
 plete despair. He gives the following ac 
 count of his deliverance from this state, after 
 remainino- in it for several months : — 
 
 " Having risen one morning, with some- 
 what of a more cheerful feehng, I repaired 
 to my room, where breakfast waited for me.. 
 While I sat at table, I found the cloud of 
 horror, which had so long hung over me, 
 
76 CONVERSION. 
 
 was every moment passing away ; and every 
 moment came fraught with hope. I was 
 continually more and more persuaded that I 
 was not utterly doomed to destruction. The 
 way of salvation was still, however, hid from 
 my eyes ; nor did I see it at all clearer than 
 before my illness. I only thought, that, if it 
 pleased God to spare me, I would lead a 
 better life ; and that I would yet escape hell, . 
 if a religious observance of my duty would 
 secure me from it. Thus may the terror of 
 the Lord make a Pharisee ; but only the 
 sweet voice of mercy in the gospel can make a 
 Christian. 
 
 " But the happy period which was to shake 
 off my fetters, and afford me a clear opening 
 of the free mercy of God in Christ Jesus, 
 had now arrived. I flung myself into a chair, 
 near the window, and, seeing a Bible there, 
 ventured once more to apply to it for comfort 
 and instruction. The first verse I saAV was 
 the twenty-fifth of the third chapter of Ro- 
 mans : ' Whom God hath set forth to be a 
 propitiation, through faith in his blood, to 
 
CONVERSION. 11 
 
 declare his righteousness, for the remission of 
 sins that are past, through the forbearance of 
 God, — to declare, I say, at this time, his 
 righteousness, that he might be just, and the 
 justifier of him which belie veth in Jesus.' 
 Immediately I received strength to believe ; 
 and the full beams of the Sun of Righteous- 
 ness shone upon me. I saw the sufficiency 
 of the atonement which Christ had made, 
 saw my pardon sealed in his blood, and all 
 the fulness and completeness of his salvation. 
 In a moment I beheved, and received the 
 gospel. And now, unless the almighty arm 
 had been under me, I think I should have 
 died with gratitude and joy. My eyes filled 
 with tears, and my voice choked with trans- 
 port : I could only look up to heaven with 
 silent fear, overwhelmed with love and won- 
 der. But the work of the Spirit is best 
 described in his own words : it is ' a joy un- 
 speakable, and full of glory.' ^ 
 
 " Thus was my heavenly Father in Christ 
 Jesus pleased to give me the full assurance 
 of faith, and, out of a strong, unbeUeving 
 
78 CONVERSION. 
 
 heart, to raise up a child unto Abraham. 
 How glad should I now have been to have 
 spent every moment in praise and thanksgiv- 
 ing ! I lost no opportunity of repairing to a 
 throne of grace. I flew to it with an ear- 
 nestness irresistible, and never to be satisfied. 
 Could I help it ? Could I do otherwise than 
 love and rejoice in my reconciled Father in 
 Christ Jesus ? The Lord had enlarged my 
 heart ; and I ran in the way of his command- 
 ments. 
 
 " For many succeeding weeks, tears were 
 ready to flow, if I did but speak of the gos- 
 pel, or so much as mention the name of 
 Jesus. To rejoice day and night was all my 
 employment. Too happy to sleep much, I 
 thought it was lost time that was spent in 
 slumber. Oh that the ardor of my first love 
 had continued ! But I have known many a 
 lifeless and unhallowed hour .since, — long in- 
 tervals of darkness, interrupted by short 
 returns of peace and joy in believing." 
 
 It will be ' seen that the conversion of 
 CoAvper, like that of Lady Huntington, 
 
CONVERSION. 79 
 
 began in faith. The first holy exercise of 
 which he was conscious was one of faith. 
 He had opened to him the way of salvation 
 by Christ ; and instantly he embraced it. He 
 embraced it with all the ardor of a despairing 
 soul; and at once he was filled with an 
 almost insupportable joy. Could he help it ? 
 Could he do otherwise than rejoice in his 
 reconciled Father in Christ Jesus ? 
 
SECTION VIL 
 
 CONVEESION OF COL. JAMES GaRDLNER AND ANDREW FULLER. 
 COL. JAMES GARDINER. 
 
 COL. GARDINER was born on the 16th 
 of January, 1688, — the year of the 
 glorious revolution which placed William 
 and Mary upon the throne. His father was 
 a military officer, and died young. His 
 mother was an excellent Christian lad}^, who 
 did every thing in her power for the tempo- 
 ral and spiritual welfare of her son. Like 
 his father, he was trained for the army, and 
 actually held an ensign's commission when 
 only fourteen years old. His early life was 
 one of sinful indulgence, in which he seemed 
 to take so much delight, that he was prover- 
 bially called " the happy rake." Still, he 
 
CONVERSION. 81 
 
 was not happy. On the contrary, he was so 
 miserable, that when, on one convivial occa- 
 sion, a dog chanced to pass through the 
 room, he could not forbear saying to him- 
 self, " Oh, that I were that dog ! " 
 
 One evening in the summer of 1719, while 
 he was sitting up late to meet a criminal ap- 
 pointment, he took up a religious book which 
 his mother had given him, and began to read 
 it: and, as he read, he thought he saw a 
 blaze of light fall on the book; and, hfting 
 up his eyes to see what caused it, he beheld 
 before him an appearance of the Lord Jesus 
 Christ upon the cross, surrounded on all sides 
 with a halo of glory. At the same time, he 
 heard a voice, saying, " O sinner ! did I suffer 
 all this for you? And are these the re- 
 turns ? " 
 
 The probability is, that he saw and heard 
 all this in vision, — in a state of partial sleep ; 
 though he seemed to himself, and constantly 
 affirmed, that he was fully awake. 
 
 Overwhelmed with what he saw, he sunk 
 back into his chair, and continued there, he 
 
82 CONVERSION. 
 
 knew not how long, in a state of insensibility. 
 .When he came to himself, the vision had de- 
 parted, and he saw it no more. 
 
 He rose from his seat in the greatest ex- 
 citement, and walked back and forth in his 
 chamber till he was ready to fall down in his 
 agony, regarding himself as the vilest mon- 
 ster on the face of the earth, who had all his 
 life been crucifying, by his sins, the Son 
 of God afresh. He had also such a view 
 of the goodness and glory of God as led him 
 to abhor himself, and repent in dust and 
 ashes. He at once gave judgment against 
 himself, that he was most justly worthy of 
 eternal damnation. He was astonished that 
 he had not been struck dead in the midst of 
 his wickedness. Still, he did not so much 
 suffer from the fear of hell, though he ex- 
 j)ected it would soon be his portion, as from 
 a sense of his horrible ingratitude to the God 
 of his life, and to that blessed Redeemer who 
 had been so marvellously set forth as cruci- 
 fied before him.- 
 
 In this state of mind he continued for some 
 
CONVERSION. 
 
 83 
 
 considerable time, mourning over his sins, but 
 indulging no liope of pardon and eternal life: 
 Yet he seems, like Paul, to have been con- 
 verted almost upon the spot: for before he 
 left his chamber the following day, as his 
 biographer (Dr. Doddridge) remarks, "the 
 whole frame and disposition of his soul was 
 changed ; so that he became, and continued 
 to the end of Hfe, an exemplary and devoted 
 Christian, — the very opposite of what he had 
 been before." 
 
 The first exercises of this man's renewed 
 heart were those of deep and thorough repent- 
 ance, — a godly sorrow and self-loathing for 
 sin. Of course, he could not come at once 
 into the possession of that overwhelming joy 
 which was the experience of Cowper. Still, 
 the conversion of the former was no less real 
 and satisfactory than that of the latter. 
 
 Col. Gardiner was a brave Christian officer, 
 who fell at the battle of Preston-Pans, fight- 
 ing for his king against the Popish Pretender, 
 on the 21st of September, 1745. 
 
84 CONVERSION. 
 
 ANDREW FULLER. 
 
 This excellent man was born at Wicken 
 (Cambridgeshire, England), in 1754 ; was ed- 
 ucated among the Particular or Calvinistic 
 Baptists, and continued attached to that de- 
 nomination as long as he lived. In his youth, 
 he had frequent convictions of sin, and fre- 
 quent struggles between his inclinations and 
 his conscience, between the strivings of the 
 Spirit and the suggestions of his evil heart. 
 He often spent liis evenings in vain and sin- 
 ful company, to which he was strongly 
 attached, and on leaving which he was in 
 great distress. The instructions which he 
 received, too, were not favorable to his speedy 
 conversion. Instead of leading him directly 
 to Christ, they tended rather to hold him in a 
 waiting posture, — waiting for the great work 
 to be performed. Still, his impressions con- 
 tinued ; and the Spirit was not grieved away. 
 
 " In the autumn of 1769," says he, " my 
 convictions returned upon me with such con- 
 cern as, I trust, issued in my conversion.^ 
 
CONVERSION. 85 
 
 One morning I walked out, with an unusual 
 load of guilt upon my conscience. The re- 
 membrance of my sins, the breach of my vows, 
 and the shocking termination of my former 
 impressions and hopes, all uniting together, 
 formed a burthen which I knew not how to 
 bear. The reproaches of a guilty conscience 
 feeemed like the gnawing worm of hell. The 
 very fire of the bottomless pit seemed to burn 
 within me. I saw that God would be per- 
 fectly just in sending me to hell ; and that to 
 hell I must go, unless I were saved by mere 
 grace, and, as it were, in spite of myself. I 
 felt, that, if God were to forgive my past sins, 
 I should again destroy myself, and that in 
 less than a day's time. I continued crying, 
 ' What must I do ? What must I do ? ' For, 
 with the instructions I had received, I knew 
 not what to do. I durst not promise amend- 
 ment, for I saw that such promises were a 
 delusion ; and to hope for forgiveness in the 
 course I was then pursuing was the height 
 of presumption ; and to think of Christ, after 
 having so often abused his grace, was too 
 
86 CONVERSION. 
 
 much : so I had no light, and no refuge. I 
 was like a drowning man, looking every way 
 for help, and catching at something with 
 which to save his life. In this deplorable, 
 despairing state, I thought of the resolution 
 of Job : ' Though he slay me, yet will I trust 
 in him.' I paused, and repeated the words 
 over and over ; and every repetition seemed 
 to Idndle a ray of hope. 
 
 " According to the instructions I had 
 received, I supposed that no sinner had a 
 warrant to believe in Christ, but there must 
 be some kind of qualification to entitle him 
 to do so ; and I was sure that I had no such 
 qualification. I regarded my case as re- 
 sembling that of Esther, who went into the 
 king's presence contrary to law., and at the peril 
 of her life ; and I resolved to do as she did. 
 I felt something attracting me to Christ; and 
 I said, ' I must, I will, — yes, I ivilU trust my 
 lost soul to his hands ; and, if I perish, I 
 perish.' And here I found rest for my 
 troubled spirit. - My heart felt at one with 
 Christ, and dead to every other Object arOund 
 me. 
 
CONVERSION. 
 
 87 
 
 "From this time, my former wicked 
 courses were all forsaken. I had no desire 
 for them. For those evils, a glance at which 
 before would have set my passions in a 
 flame, I felt no inclination. In reference to 
 them, I could now say, with joy and tri- 
 umph, ' My soul is as a weaned child ! ' " 
 
 Soon after this, Mr. Fuller became a mem- 
 ber of the Baptist church in Soham. He 
 early commenced speakmg and praying in 
 religious meetings ; and this he did so much 
 to the edification of his brethren, that, after 
 a year or two, they called and licensed him 
 to be a preacher of the gospel. He lived to 
 be one of the most useful ministers in Eng- 
 land or in the world. He died peacefully, 
 triumphantly, in the spring of 1815, at the 
 age of sixty-one. 
 
SECTION VIII. 
 
 Conversion of President Edwabds and David Bkaineed. 
 PRESIDENT EDWARDS. 
 
 THIS distinguished divine was the son of 
 a minister, was religiously educated, 
 was the subject of frequent, solemn impres- 
 sions, and was regular in the performance of 
 religious duties, from his childhood. Soon 
 after leaving college, when about seventeen 
 years of age, he experienced a change in his 
 affections, which he describes in the follow- 
 ing manner : — 
 
 " From my childhood up, my mind had 
 been full of objections against the doctrine 
 of God's sovereignty in choosing whom he 
 would to eternal life, and leaving others to 
 perish in their sins. It appeared like a hor- 
 rible doctrine- to me ; but I remember the 
 time very well when I became convinced, 
 
CONVERSION. ^^ 
 
 and fully satisfied, as to the sovereignty 
 of God, and Ms justice in thus disposing 
 of men according to his sovereign pleas- 
 ure. 
 
 " The first instance that I remember of 
 that inward, sweet delight in God and divine 
 things, in which I have Hved much of the 
 time since, was on reading these words: 
 ' Now, unto the King eternal, unmortal, in- 
 visible, the only wise God, be honor and glory 
 for ever and ever, amen.' As I read the words, 
 there came into my soul, and was diffused 
 through it, a sense of the glory of the divine 
 Being, — a new sense, quite different from 
 any thing I ever experienced before. Never 
 any words of Scripture seemed to me as 
 these words did. 
 
 " From about that time, I began to have 
 new apprehensions and ideas of Christ, and 
 the glorious way of salvation by him. An 
 inward sweet sense of these things came into 
 my heart ; and my soul was led away in 
 pleasant views and contemplations of them. 
 My mind was much occupied in reading and 
 
90 CONVERSION. 
 
 meditating upon Christ, on the beauty and 
 excellency of his person, and the lovely way 
 of salvation, by free grace, through him. I 
 found no books so delightful to me as those 
 that treated of these subjects. The sense 
 which I had of divine tilings would often, of 
 a sudden, kindle up a sweet burning in my 
 heart, — an ardor of soul that I know not 
 how to express. 
 
 " Not long after I began to experience 
 these things, I had a conversation with my 
 father on the subject. I was much affected 
 by the discourse ; and, when it was ended, I 
 walked abroad in a solitary place for contem- 
 plation. And while I was there, looking up 
 on the sky and clouds, there came into my 
 mind a sweet sense of the glorious majesty 
 and grace of God, which I know not how to 
 express. I seemed to see them both in a 
 sweet conjunction, — majesty and meekness 
 joined together. It was a sweet and gentle 
 and holy majesty, and also a majestic meek- 
 ness, an awful sweetness, a high and great 
 and holy gentleness. , 
 
conversion: 91 
 
 "After this, my sense of divine things 
 gradually increased, and became more and 
 more lively, and had more of that inward 
 sweetness. The appearance of every thing 
 was altered- There seemed to be a calm, 
 sweet cast or appearance of divine glory in 
 almost every thing. God's excellency, his 
 wisdom, his purity, and love seemed to shine 
 in every thing ; in the sun, moon, and stars ; 
 in the clouds and the blue sky ; in the grass, 
 flowers, and trees ; in the water, and in all 
 nature. I used often to sit. and view the 
 moon for a long time ; and, in the day, I 
 spent much time in viewing the cloiJds and 
 sky, that I might behold the glory of God in 
 these things, in the mean time singing 
 forth, in a low voice, my contemplations of 
 the Creator and Redeemer. 
 
 " I had, then, great satisfaction as to my 
 good estate ; but this did not content me. I 
 had vehement longings of soul after God and 
 Christ, and after more holiness, wherewith 
 my heart seemed to be full, and ready to 
 break. I often felt a mourning and lament- 
 
92 CONVERSION. 
 
 ing in my heart that I had not turned to 
 God sooner, and thus had more time to 
 grow in grace. I spent most of my time, for 
 years, in thinking of divine things, often 
 walking alone in the woods and sohtary 
 places for meditation, soliloquy, prayer, and 
 converse with God ; and it was my usual 
 manner, at such times, to sing forth my con- 
 templations. Wherever I was, I was almost 
 constantly in ejaculatory prayer. Prayer 
 seemed to be as natural to me as the breath 
 by which the iaward burnings of my heart 
 had vent." 
 
 I have quoted the more largely from the 
 early recorded experience of Pres. Edwards, 
 not only that the fact and form of his con- 
 version might appear, but that my readers 
 might see the foundation which was laid in 
 youth for the subsequent spiritual elevation 
 and usefulness of this great and good man. 
 His conversion commenced obviously in lov'e^ 
 — in such new and glorious views of the 
 character of God as filled and fired his soul 
 with love and admiration. ' And co'mmen- 
 
CONVERSION. 93 
 
 cing his Christian life in such a close walk 
 with God, in all the exercises of love and 
 duty, it is no wonder that God exalted him 
 among his people, and made him perhaps 
 the most eminent teacher of divine things 
 which America has known. 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 Brainerd, like Pres. Edwards, was the 
 subject of religious impressions from his 
 early youth. He attended regularly to the 
 duties of religion in public and in private, 
 and earnestly sought to do something to 
 recommend himself to the favor of heaven; 
 but, being continually disappointed in at-, 
 tempts of this nature, his heart at length 
 broke out into a violent and sensible quarrel 
 with God. He was displeased with the strict- 
 ness of the divine law, with the prescribed 
 and unalterable conditions of salvation, 
 and especially with the doctrine of divine 
 sovereignty. After continuing in this state 
 for some considerable time, seeking rest and 
 finding none, he was brought to acquiesce in 
 
94 CONVERSION. 
 
 those views of God wHch he had formerly 
 opposed, and to rejoice in hope of his glory. 
 His conversion, as to the form of it, was 
 strikingly similar to that of his great teacher 
 and patron, Pres. Edwards. 
 
 " I was attempting to pray, but found no 
 heart to engage in that or any other duty. 
 My former concern, exercises, and religious 
 impressions seemed to be gone. I thought 
 that the Spirit of God had quite left me ; 
 but still I was not distressed, though discon- 
 solate, as if there was nothing in heaven or 
 earth that could make me happy. Having 
 thus been endeavoring to pray, though in a 
 very stupid and senseless manner, for near 
 half an hour, then, as I was walking alone 
 in a dark, thick grove, an unspeakable glory 
 seemed to open to the view and apprehension 
 of my soul. I do not mean any external 
 brightness ;. for I saw no such thing. Nor do I 
 intend any imagination of a body of light 
 somewhere in the third heavens, nor any 
 thing of that nature ; but it was a new in- 
 ward apprehension or view that I had of 
 
CONVERSION. 95 
 
 God, and as I never had before, nor ^nj 
 thing which had the least resemblance of it. 
 I stood still, I wondered, I admired! I 
 knew that I had never before seen any thing 
 comparable to it for excellence and beauty. 
 It was widely different from all the concep- 
 tions that I ever had of God, or of things 
 divine. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeaka- 
 ble to see such a God, such a glorious divine 
 Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satis- 
 fied that he should he.Crod over all forever 
 and ever. My soul was so captivated and 
 delighted with the excellence, loveliness, 
 greatness, and other perfections of God, that 
 I was swallowed up in him, — at least, to 
 that degree that I had no thought, at first, 
 about my own salvation, and scarce reflected 
 that there was such a creature as myself. I 
 continued in this state of inward joy, peace, 
 and astonishment until near dark, without 
 any sensible abatement ; and then I began to 
 think and examine what I had seen, and felt 
 sweetly composed in my mind all the follow- 
 ing evening. I felt myself in a new world ; 
 
96 . CONVERSION. 
 
 and every thing about me appeared in a 
 different aspect from what it had done. At 
 this time, tlie toay of salvation opened to me 
 with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and 
 excellency, that I wondered I should ever 
 think of any other way. I was amazed that 
 I had not dropped my own contrivances, and 
 complied with this lovely, blessed, and excel- 
 lent way before. If I could have been saved 
 by my own duties, or in any other way that 
 I had formerly contrived, my whole soul 
 would now have refused it. I wondered that 
 all the world did not see and comply with 
 this way of salvation by the righteousness of 
 Christ. The sweet relish of what I then felt 
 continued with me for several days, almost 
 constantly. Wherever I was, — sitting, walk- 
 ing, lying down, and rising up, — I could not 
 but sweetly rejoice in God." 
 
 David Brainerd died in the thirtieth year 
 of his age ; but he lived long enough to accom- 
 phsh a "svork, and acquire an influence, which 
 will never die". How many young ministers 
 have been incited by his exainple to devote 
 
CONVERSION. 97 
 
 themselves to the service of Christ among the 
 heathen ! And how many missionaries have 
 been sustained and encouraged in their ardu- 
 ous labors, by reading the story of his trials 
 and successes among the Indians at Kauna- 
 meck and Crosweeksung ! 
 
SECTION IX. 
 
 Conversion of Dr. Hopkins of Newport, and Dr. Emmons. 
 DR. HOPKINS OF NEWPORT. 
 
 THE late Dr. Samuel Hopkins of New- 
 port was a self-righteous and confident 
 professor of religion for some time before he 
 came to a saving knowledge of the truth. He 
 was awakened to a deep sense of his true 
 character and danger while a member of 
 Yale College, through the instrumentality of 
 David Brainerd. " After Brainerd left my 
 room," says he, " to which he had come for 
 religious conversation, the conviction fixed 
 upon me that I was no Christian. The evil 
 of my heart, the hardness and unbelief of 
 it, came more and more into view ; and the 
 evil case in which I was appeared more and 
 more dreadful. I felt myself a guilty, justly- 
 
CONVERSION. 99 
 
 condemned creature ; and my hope of relief 
 by obtaining conversion failed more and more : 
 and, as all help failed, my condition appeared 
 darker from day to day. I felt myself to be 
 nothing but ignorance, stupidity, and guilt. 
 Thus I continued for some weeks, generally 
 retired, except when I attended private meet- 
 ings of young people for praise and prayer. 
 At length, as I was one. evening in my closet, 
 eno-ao-ed in meditation and devotion, a new 
 and wonderful scene opened to my view. I 
 had a sense of the being and presence of God 
 as I never had before ; it being more of a re- 
 ality, and more affecting and glorious, than I 
 had ever before perceived. And the charac- 
 ter of Jesus Christ, the oMediator, came into 
 view, and appeared such a reality and so glo- 
 rious, and the way of salvation by him so 
 wise, important, and desirable, that I was as- 
 tonished at myself that I had never seen these 
 things before, which were so plain, pleasing, 
 and wonderful. I longed to have all men see 
 and know these things, as they now ai3peared 
 to me. 
 
100 conversion: 
 
 " I was greatly affected in view of my own 
 depravity, — the sinfulness, guilt, and odious- 
 ness of my character; and tears flowed in 
 great plenty. After some time, I left my 
 closet, and went into the adjoining room. 
 No other person being there, I walked the 
 room, all intent upon these subjects. I took 
 up Watts's version of the Psalms, opened at 
 the fifty-first, and read, with strong affection, 
 the first, second, and third parts, in long me- 
 tre. I made it all my own language, and 
 thought it was the language of my heart to 
 God. I dwelt upon it with pleasure, and 
 wept much. And, when I hadiaid aside the 
 book, my mind continued fixed upon the sub- 
 ject, in the exercise of devotion, confession, 
 adoration, petition, in which I seemed to pour 
 out my heart with great freedom to God. I 
 gave all attention to the things of religion, in 
 which most around me appeared to- be en- 
 gaged. Among the students, there were 
 many instances of conversion ; and I felt a 
 peculiar pleasing affection for those who ap- 
 peared to be Christians." 
 
conversion: 
 
 101 
 
 We have here another instance of conver- 
 sion, very like in form to those of Edwards and 
 Brainerd, — new and glorious views of God, 
 accompanied with new affections of love, 
 admiration, and devotion. After leaving col- 
 lege, Hopkins became a pupil of Edwards, 
 and was long a burning and shining light in 
 our American churches. 
 
 DR. NATHANIEL EMMONS. 
 
 Dr. Emmons was born of pious parents, was 
 rehgiously educated, and from childhood was 
 the subject of frequent solemn impressions. 
 His life, too, was moral and amiable ; and he 
 had a great desire to be a minister of Christ, 
 though he did not think hunself prepared for 
 the work. In this state of mind, he passed 
 through college, and even entered on his pro- 
 fessional studies. " Still," he says, " I never 
 indulged a thought of preaching, unless I had 
 some good reason to believe that I was the 
 subject of a saving change ; for I viewed a 
 graceless minister as a most inconsistent, 
 
102 CONVERSION. 
 
 criminal, and odious character. Accordingly, 
 when I began to read divinity, I began a con- 
 stant practice of daily reading the Bible, and 
 of praying to God in secret. With such res- 
 olutions, I entertained a hope that God would 
 very soon grant me his special grace, and give 
 me satisfactory evidence of this qualification 
 for the ministry." 
 
 After pursuing this course for a time, Dr. 
 Emmons concluded to change his theological 
 teacher, and placed himself under the in- 
 struction of the late Dr. Smalley of Berlin, 
 Conn. '' His plain and instructive preaching," 
 says the writer, " increased my concern, and 
 gave me a more sensible conviction of the 
 plague of my own heart, and of my real oppo- 
 sition to the way of salvation revealed in the 
 gospel. My heart rose against the doctrine 
 of divine sovereignty ; and I felt greatly em- 
 barrassed with respect to the . use of means. 
 I read certain books which convinced me that 
 the best desires and prayers of sinners were 
 altogether selfish, criminal, and displeasing to 
 God. I knew not what to do, nor where to 
 
CONVERSION. 
 
 103 
 
 go for relief. A deep sense of my total de- 
 pravity of heart, and of the sovereignty of God, 
 in having mercy on whom he will have mer- 
 cy, destroyed my dependence on men and 
 means, and made me almost despair of ever 
 'attaining salvation, or becoming fit for any 
 thing but the damnation of hell. But one 
 afternoon, when my hopes were gone, I had 
 a peculiar discovery of the divine perfections, 
 and of the way of salvation by Jesus Christ, 
 which filled my mind with a joy and serenity 
 to which I had ever before been a perfect stran- 
 ger. This was followed by a pecuhar spirit 
 of benevolence to all my fellow-men, whether 
 friends or foes ; and I was transported with 
 the thought of the unspeakable blessedness 
 of the day when universal benevolence should 
 prevail among all mankind. I felt a peculiar 
 complacence in good men, but thought they 
 were extremely stupid, because they did not 
 appear to be more delighted with the gospel, 
 and more engaged to promote the cause of 
 Christ. I pitied the deplorable condition of 
 ignorant, stupid sinners, and thought I could 
 
104 CONVERSION. 
 
 preach so plainly as to convince everybody of 
 the glory and importance of the gospel." 
 
 In form, the conversion of Dr. Emmons 
 was very like to that of ■ Pres. Edwards and 
 Brainerd and Dr. Hopkins. He had new 
 views of the perfections and character of 
 God, inducing a conscious love to that char- 
 acter, and benevolence to all mankind. 
 About six months after his conversion, Dr. 
 Emmons made a public profession of reli- 
 gion, and soon commenced the work of 
 preaching the gospel, — a work which he con- 
 tinued with unprecedented celebrity and 
 usefulness for almost sixty years. He prob- 
 ably wrote and delivered more good sermons 
 than any man who has ever lived in New 
 England. He voluntarily retired from the 
 pulpit thirteen years before his death. 
 
SECTION X. 
 
 Conversion of Samuel J, Mills, Dr. CoRNELros, and 
 Rev. Sylvester Larned. 
 
 SAMUEL J. MILLS. 
 
 THE spiritual career of this devoted ser- 
 vant of Christ and the Church com- 
 menced in the following manner: When 
 about fifteen years of age, his attention was 
 specially directed to the great concerns of 
 the soul. For two full years he continued 
 in a state of anxiety, quarrelling with the 
 sovereignty of God, and often wishing that 
 he had never been born. One morning, as 
 he was about to leave home to return to 
 school in a neighboring town, his pious 
 mother took the opportunity of inquiring 
 into the state of his mind, and begged him 
 to make an ingenuous disclosure of his feel- 
 ings. For a moment he was silent, and 
 
 105 
 
106 CONVERSION. 
 
 wept ; but his heart was too full long to 
 suppress the emotions produced by so affect- 
 ing a request. He raised his head ; and, with 
 his eyes streaming with .tears, he exclaimed, 
 " Oh that I had never been born ! Oh that 
 I had never been born ! For two years I 
 have been sorry that God ever made me." 
 What reply could such a mother make to 
 such a disclosure ? It was given her, in that 
 same hour, Avhat she should speak. " My 
 son," said she, " you are born ; and you can 
 never throw off your existence, nor your 
 everlasting accountability for all your con- 
 duct." This thought was like a dagger to 
 his soul. His mother expressed the fear that 
 he had never thoroughly seen. the evil of his 
 own heart ; to which he replied ; ''I have 
 seen to the very bottom of hell ! " 
 
 In this frame of mind, he took a melan- 
 choly leave of his parents for the winter. 
 What took place under his father's roof may 
 be easily conjectured. His farewell to his 
 mother drove her to her knees : she felt his 
 sorrows and her own ; nor did she leave her 
 
CONVERSION. 107 
 
 closet till she found relief in the confidence 
 that God would have mercy upon her dear 
 child. And it ought to be recorded, that, on 
 that very morning, it pleased the Holy Ghost 
 to knock off the chains from this unhappy 
 prisoner, and introduce him into the liberty 
 of the sons of God. He had not walked far 
 before he had such a view of the perfections 
 of God that he wondered he had never seen 
 their beauty and glory before. There was 
 nothing in God now that distressed him. 
 He had lost all his opposition to the divine 
 sovereignty ; and such were his views of this 
 adorable perfection, that he could not help 
 exclaiming, " O glorious sovereignty t O 
 glorious sovereignty I " He retired a small 
 distance into the woods, that he might be 
 more at liberty to contemplate the character 
 of God, and adore and extol his holy and 
 amiable sovereignty ; but he here saw so 
 much of God that his mind was almost lost 
 in the overwhelming manifestation. The 
 scene was altogether new. There was a 
 wonderful change either in God or in him. 
 
108 CONVERSION. 
 
 Every tiling was gilded with light and glory ; 
 and ever and anon, as he gazed at the splen- 
 dor and majesty of the divine character, he 
 would still exclaim, " O glorious sovereign- 
 ty ! " His mind was so constantly occupied 
 in viewing the perfections of God, and in 
 meditating on his word and works, that for 
 weeks he hardly thought of himself, or made 
 the inquiry whether he was converted or not. 
 From this time Mr. Mills entered, with 
 the greatest earnestness, upon the work of his 
 new spiritual life. At Williams College and 
 at the Theological Seminary, he aroused a 
 spirit among his fellow-students which led 
 to the formation of the American Board of 
 Foreign Missions. He matured the plans 
 which resulted in the establishment of the 
 United Foreign Missionary Society and of 
 the American Bible Society. He did more 
 than any other man to promote, in its early 
 stages, the cause of Home Missions. And it 
 was while he was returning from a mission 
 of mercy to the western coast of Africa, that 
 he was taken sick on shipboard, and was 
 
CONVERSION. 109 
 
 buried in the sea. The beginning of all the 
 good which he accomplished on earth, and 
 of the glory which he now possesses in 
 heaven, may be traced to that interesting 
 morning when he first bowed to the sover- 
 eignty of God. 
 
 DR. CORNELIUS. 
 
 It is scarcely necessary to say any thing 
 respecting the early life and character of the 
 late Dr. Ehas Cornehus. He was born at 
 Somers, N.Y., in 1794, and entered Yale 
 College in 1810. " During most of his col- 
 lege life," says a fellow-student, " he was 
 certainly a very thoughtless young man. Of 
 prepossessing personal appearance, of a gen- 
 erous, frank, and sociable disposition, fond 
 of company and amusement, his society was 
 coveted by the inconsiderate and irreligious 
 portion of the students. Among them he 
 was a leader, though not addicted, so far as 
 I know, to vicious practices." Upon his re- 
 turn to college, at the close of the winter 
 vacation of his senior year, he appeared 
 
110 CONVERSION. 
 
 thoughtful and solemn. Says another col- 
 lege friend, " He early disclosed to me the 
 state of his mind. There was something 
 about him which excited, the most lively in- 
 terest in his case. His convictions were un- 
 usually deep and painful. Of the character 
 of God, as a holy, righteous sovereign; of 
 the purity of his law, and of the extent of 
 his requirements ; of the entire depravity of 
 his own heart, and of the sinfulness of his 
 past life, — he had very clear perceptions ; of 
 the truth of the declaration, ' The carnal 
 mind is enmity against God,' he had most 
 distressing proof in his own experience. He 
 saw that he was in the hands of God, who 
 was reasonable in his demands, and would be 
 just in condemning the sinner. But his 
 heart rose, at times, in fearful rebellion 
 against his Maker. Like the bullock un- 
 accustomed to the yoke, he . struggled, and 
 seemed determined not to submit ; and I 
 trembled lest the Spirit, thus resisted, would 
 be grieved away. His anguish of soul was 
 almost insupportable." 
 
CONVERSION. Ill 
 
 In the montli of March, about six or 
 seven weeks after the commencement of his 
 religious impressions, he found peace in sub- 
 mission to God. " One day," remarks a 
 fellow-student, " he knocked at my door. 
 On opening it, his countenance told me that 
 the contest was over. The storm had passed 
 away ; and it was the clear shining after rain. 
 . "He requested me to walk with him. We 
 were silent until we had proceeded some dis- 
 tance from college. My own emotions were 
 such that I had no disposition to speak. He 
 was musing ; and the fire burned. When we 
 had come to a retired place, unable longer to 
 restrain his feelings, he raised his hands, and 
 exclaimed, 'O sweet submission, sweet sub- 
 mission ! ' This exclamation he repeated 
 many times during our walk. That he was 
 in the hands of God was his theme, and the 
 rejoicing of his heart. He expressed no 
 hope of pardon, and appeared not to think 
 of himself. The glorious Being, to whose 
 character, law, and government he had felt 
 so much opposition, seemed to occupy the 
 
112 CONVERSION'. 
 
 whole field of vision, and to fill his soul with 
 inexpressible delight." 
 
 Here clearly was a case in which the first 
 exercises in conversion were those of submis- 
 sion to God. " Very soon he began to speak 
 of the plan of salvation through the atoning 
 sacrifice of the Son of God. It was unfolded 
 to him in its glory, and excited his most 
 grateful admiration. He saw how God could 
 be just, and justify him that believeth in 
 Jesus. Pressed with a sense of obligation 
 to redeeming grace, his fervent aspiration 
 seemed to be ' Lord, what wilt thou have me 
 to do ? ' The love of Christ, shed abroad in 
 his heart, immediately manifested itself in 
 vigorous, self-denying efforts for the conver- 
 sion of his fellow-men." At once, a great 
 revival commenced in college, in which Cor- 
 nelius was intensely active. 
 
 After he began to preach, we find him 
 now a missionary among the South-western 
 Indians ; then laboring, with his friend 
 Earned, at New Orleans; then for several 
 years pastor of the Tabernacle Church in 
 
CONVERSION. 113 
 
 Salem ; then secretary and agent of the 
 American Education Society; and, finally, 
 vsecretary of the American Board of Com- 
 missioners for Foreign Missions. Under the 
 burthen of these successive and crushing re- 
 sponsibilities, his health failed him; and he 
 died, universally lamented, at the early age 
 of thirty-eight. 
 
 REV. SYLVESTER EARNED. 
 
 The cases of Dr. Cornelius and Mr. Larned, 
 we place together, because they were very 
 like each other in personal appearance and 
 natural temperament : they were both awak- 
 ened and converted in college ; and the form 
 of conversion in both cases was the same, — 
 submission to a sovereign Cfod. And they 
 graduated the same year. They were alike 
 distinguished for their oratorical powers, and 
 in after life were very special friends. 
 
 Mr. Larned was born in Pittsfield, Mass., 
 in 1796, and graduated at Middlebury Col- 
 lege in 1813. He was awakened, while in 
 
114 CONVERSION. 
 
 college, by the death of a young friend, who 
 was cut off suddenly, without leaving any 
 evidence of a preparedness for heaven. Mr. 
 Larned was led very solemnly to consider what 
 would be his own situation, were he sum- 
 moned, in like manner, into the presence of 
 his God. Death appeared to him very terri- 
 ble. His sins were set in order before him. 
 The law of God condemned him ; and what 
 could he do ? At times he was ahnost fran- 
 tic with despair. His opposition to God was 
 so great, that he once said to a rehgious 
 friend, " I feel that, if I could with this arm 
 reach up, and pluck the Almighty from his 
 throne, I should do it." 
 
 " After passing some hours, one day, in his 
 room alone," says a fellow-student, " he left it, 
 and went hastily into the woods. I sat by 
 the window, and waited to see him return ; 
 and, as he, came,^ I saw that the look of de- 
 spair was exchanged for a smile. Coming 
 in, he exclaimed, ' O Charles ! I went into the 
 woods to kill myself ; for I could not endure 
 
CONVERSION. 11^ 
 
 such dreadful despair. But, when I arrived 
 there, I thought I would first make one more 
 prayer. I knelt down, though I feared that 
 the trees would fall and crush me; and, be- 
 fore I rose, I found such joy and peace as 
 cannot be described.' " 
 
 Soon after this, he gave some account 
 of his experience in a rehgious meeting; 
 in which he said, "How easy and dehght- 
 ful it is to possess religion, when once you 
 submit to God! It is as easy as it -is to 
 breathe. I have no fears now, as to my fu- 
 ture state. I do not think I should be afraid 
 to die, should I be struck with Hghtning the 
 next moment." 
 
 After closing his professional studies at 
 Princeton, he made an arrangement with his 
 friend Cornehus to meet him in New Or- 
 leans,, with a view to a permanent settlement 
 in that city, should Providence open the 
 way. Accordingly, he arrived there in Jan- 
 uary, 1818 ; and here he remained until his 
 death. He died suddenly of yeUow fever, 
 
116 CONVERSION. 
 
 on his birthday, at the age of twenty-four. 
 Probably no preacher in the United States 
 occupied a more important station, or was 
 more admired for a brilliant natural elo- 
 quence. 
 
SECTION XL 
 
 Miscellaneous Instances, illustrating the Different 
 FoKNis OF Conversion. 
 
 THE cases described in this section, al- 
 tliough anonymous, are all of them 
 taken from real life. They have been se- 
 lected from hundreds of well-attested in- 
 stances, which from time to time have been 
 published. 
 
 1. W. H., Esq., was among the early set- 
 tlers of a town in the western part of Ver- 
 mont. He was soon elevated to a post of 
 responsibility, in which he gave evidence of 
 fearlessness and integrity in the discharge 
 of official duties. He was never a scoffer at 
 religion, but was far enough from possessing 
 the meek, forgiving spirit of Christ. 
 
 In the year 1816, when he was a little 
 more than fifty years old, there was a revival 
 
 117 
 
118 CONVERSION. 
 
 of religion in the town ; and he was among 
 the first to come forward and speak of the 
 importance of becoming reconciled to God. 
 He soon expressed a hope in Christ, but was 
 induced, after a time, to relinquish it, under 
 the impression that it was superficial, and 
 had no good foundation. God now opened 
 his eyes to see himself as he had never done 
 before. His sins rose up like mountains be- 
 fore him, and seemed to cry aloud for ven- 
 geance. He came into a conference meeting 
 with a countenance betokening the deepest 
 anguish, and exclaimed, in tones that pierced 
 the heart of every hearer, " I am lost ! You 
 can do nothing for me ! But I entreat of 
 you to take care of yourselves ! 1 am lost ! " 
 He continued in tliis state about three 
 weeks ; when, to use his own language, " My 
 case was as though the noonday had burst 
 upon the gloom of midnight. I was filled 
 with light and joy and love to the character, 
 law, and salvation of God. Instantly I 
 found myself with both hands extended 
 towards heaven, exclaiming, ' Glory to God 
 
CONVERSION. ^ 11^ 
 
 in the highest! Glory be to God ia the 
 
 highest ! ' " 
 
 From this time, Esquhe H. was a new 
 man He was for ten years a deacon in the 
 church, and was an example to aU believers 
 "in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in 
 
 faith, in purity." 
 
 2. Instances of conversion which begin in 
 pemtence are either not so common as the 
 other forms, or (what is more likely) they 
 are less frequently recorded. We find them, 
 however, occasionaUy ; and the foUowmg in- 
 stance may be taken as a specimen : — 
 
 During a season of revival, Mrs. M. was 
 resolutely opposed to the work, and treated 
 it with levity and contempt. Still, she could 
 not utterly shut out the Spirit from her 
 house or her heart. She was herself awak- 
 ened, and feU under the most pungent con- 
 victions of guilt. "I have been," she said, 
 "the most ignorant and stupid being that 
 ever lived. The one thing needful, — the 
 care of my soul, -I have altogether neg-- 
 lected. I have been forgetful of God ; and 
 
120 CONVERSION, 
 
 the solemn realities of eternity I have ban- 
 ished from my mind. Thus have I been liv- 
 ing all my days. O my heart ! my hard and 
 sinful heart ! It is full of every kind of pol- 
 lution. Never was there so great a sinner." 
 
 In this state of mind she continued for a 
 considerable time. At length, she became 
 more calm and tranquil, but expressed no 
 hope that she had passed from death unto 
 life. Upon being inquired of as to her views 
 and exercises, she said, '' I appear to myself 
 to be the most vile and loathsome of the hu- 
 man race. Nothing in the universe seems to 
 me so deformed and odious as my sinful 
 heart. I do loathe and ahhor myself for 
 
 sin. But, as mnch as I see of the vileness of 
 
 • 
 
 my heart, I know that God sees a thousand 
 times more than I do. All its lurking wick- 
 edness is fully exposed to his view. And 
 yet I would hide nothing from him. Sin is 
 so abominable and loathsome in itself, it is 
 reasonable and right that God should hold it 
 in the greatest- abhorrence. It is right that 
 God should hate and abhor my wicked 'char- 
 
CONVERSION. 121 
 
 acter and my wicked self, as one of the 
 vilest of sinners. I know that God must op- 
 pose me, and set his face against me ; and 
 nothing can be more reasonable than this. I 
 do not wish it were otherwise. How can I 
 desire that the all-holy God should approve 
 and love such a miserable, loathsome sinner 
 as myseK ? God requires me to hate every 
 evil and false way ; to love him with all my 
 heart and soul : and this requirement I know 
 is reasonable. I do not wish it abated or al- 
 tered, although I know that I am continually 
 exposing myself to everlasting destruction for 
 my disobedience. The divine law condemns 
 me, and justly condemns me ; and, should 
 everlasting destruction be my portion, God's 
 throne would be guiltless, and my mouth 
 would be stopped ! Oh, the dreadful end of 
 the ungodly ! And I know not but that end 
 will be mine. I am in God's hand ; and he 
 will do with me as seemeth him good. His 
 counsel shall stand ; and he will do all his 
 pleasure. It is my duty to say, amen ; and 
 I think I can say so. The Judge of all the 
 
122 CONVERSION. 
 
 earth will do right ; therefore, let his will he 
 done.^'' 
 
 This woman was now, evidently, a con- 
 verted person, though she did not know it. 
 She saw the odiousness of sin. She loathed 
 and abhorred herself on account of it. She 
 had ceased to quarrel with God. She took 
 his part against herself. She felt that she 
 was in God's hands, and was willing that he 
 should do with her as seemed to him good. 
 She must have been a child of God, though 
 she had no view, as yet, of his pardoning 
 love in Christ, and entertained no hope of 
 heaven. 
 
 3. In the following case of conversion, the 
 first holy affection seems to . have been sub- 
 mission to God. Mr. B. was about thirty- 
 five years of age, and distinguished for good 
 sense and judgment. He at first opposed a 
 revival, which was prevailing in his . native 
 town, and quarrelled with some of the doc- 
 trines of the gospel. At a religious meeting 
 in his house, he appeared indifferent at first ; 
 but, before the meeting closed, he was ira; 
 
CONVERSION. 123 
 
 pressed, and came to the resolution to lead a 
 better life. He continued to attend meet- 
 ings ; and his convictions increased. At 
 length, they became so pungent as to unfit 
 him for labor and deprive him of sleep. A 
 sense of the all-seeing and all-powerful God, 
 against whom he had sinned, and who, he 
 knew, must be angry with' him, made him 
 tremble. He resorted to meetings, and con- 
 versed with his minister, but found no relief. 
 His deceitful heart would flee to any thing 
 but to God, through Christ, for help. About 
 the dawn of day, after a wretched and sleep- 
 less night, he had some new views as to the 
 propriety of submitting unconditionally to 
 God. He saw that it was a thing most suit- 
 able and excellent that God should reign 
 and do all his pleasure. His obstinacy now 
 gave way. He thought that he would acqui- 
 esce in the divine sovereignty, and found 
 relief; still, he did not think himself con- 
 verted, nor did he indulge any hope of 
 heaven. 
 
 In the course of the day, his darkness and 
 
124 CONVERSION. 
 
 distress returned, and were more intolerable 
 than ever. " Oh, what a Saviour I have re- 
 jected ! Eternal death is now my portion, 
 and I cannot open my lips to complain." 
 With reflections such as these, he walked 
 backwards and forwards, wringing his hands 
 in agony, and saying, " Now is my doom fixed 
 and settled for eternity." At this point, a 
 voice seemed to come to him, " Have I not 
 done enough for you ? And have you not 
 stood out against me long enough ? " " Instant- 
 ly my spirit answered, ' Yes, Lord, oh, yes, I 
 bow to thee ! I resign myself to thy disposal. 
 Oh, take me, and make me what thou wilt I ' " 
 
 This act of submission was succeeded by a 
 peace which he had never felt before, and of 
 which he had no conception. He at once set 
 up the worship of God in his family, and en- 
 tered upon the duties of a Christian life. His 
 perseverance proved that his hope was not a 
 delusion. 
 
 4. In the conversions which follow, the 
 change evidently commenced in faith : — 
 
 There was a young lady in New York, 
 
CONVERSION. 125 
 
 whose name was Mary . She was awak- 
 ened, somewhat convicted, and attended the 
 inquiry meeting from week to week. She 
 would assent to all that was said to her ; but 
 did not seem to feel very deeply, and she 
 made no progress. Her pastor frequently 
 called upon her, and used all methods to 
 bring her to a decision ; but in vain. One 
 day he told her, at the close of an interview : 
 " Mary, I can do you no good. I have said 
 to you every thing that I can think of that is 
 appropriate to your case, and nothing seems 
 to move you. I can do no more for you." 
 The thought that her pastor had pretty much 
 despaired of her, and was about to give her 
 up, alarmed her. She felt more than ever the 
 need of looking to some other source for help. 
 She went the same evening to a religious 
 meeting, where the service was commenced 
 with singing a hymn of Watts, in which is the 
 following verse : — 
 
 " A guilty, weak, and helpless worm. 
 
 On thy kind arms I fall : 
 Be thou my strength and righteousness, 
 
 My Jesus and my all." 
 
126 CONVERSION. 
 
 The whole hymn, and especially these 
 words, aifected her so deeply, that she thought 
 of nothing else. They gave her the first idea 
 of faith. She went to her pastor the next 
 day, and said, " When you was reading that 
 hymn last night, I saw the whole way of sal- 
 vation for sinners perfectly plain, and won- 
 dered that I had never seen it before. I saw 
 that I had nothing to do but to trust in Christ, 
 I sat all the evening looking at that hymn : I 
 did not hear your prayer; I did not hear 
 any thing you said ; I thought of nothing but 
 the hymn. I -have been thinking of it ever 
 since. The way of life seems so plain and 
 light, that it makes me happy : — 
 
 ' A guilty, weak, and helpless worm, 
 On thy kind arms I fall.'" 
 
 5. Mr. W. was exceedingly distressed be- 
 cause his wife proposed making a public pro- 
 fession of religion. She chose what she 
 thought the most favorable moment for dis- 
 closing her wishes to him ; and asked his 
 consent that she might offer herself as a can- 
 
CONVERSION. 127 
 
 didate for Churcli privileges. The conflict in 
 his breast was such as to forbid any reply. 
 He left her in suspense, and went immediate- 
 ly out. He afterwards seemed absorbed in 
 the deepest contemplation, without communi- 
 cating to any one the burden which was upon 
 him. At the time appointed, he carried his 
 wife to the church-meeting, and returned for 
 her at the close. On the following Sabbath, 
 she was propounded to the church. Mr. W. 
 was exceedingly unhappy. His burthen 
 seemed almost insupportable. He found no 
 rest, in the house or in the field, by day or by 
 night. He felt himself to be a guilty, wretch- 
 ed man, without help or hope, but in the 
 sovereign mercy of that Being against whom 
 he had offended. On the bricfht Sabbath 
 
 o 
 
 morniuGf when she was to oive herself to the 
 Lord and his people in an everlasting cove- 
 nant, he arose very early, after a night of 
 almost insupportable distress. He retired to 
 his barn to pray ; and there Christ was made 
 known to him as a suitable, precious, and all- 
 sufficient Saviour. He embraced him with 
 
128 CONVERSION. 
 
 his whole heart, and rejoiced to give himself 
 up entirely to him. The day to which he had 
 looked forward, with such anguish of spirit, 
 was turned into one of inexpressible gladness. 
 He rejoiced to see his wife make an open pro- 
 fession of her faith, and only regretted that 
 he could not accompany her in the solemn 
 transaction. On the next sacramental occa- 
 sion, he was received to communion with her. 
 6. Mr. K. had been for many years an infi- 
 del. He hated the Bible, abhorred the name 
 of Jesus, and sternly rejected the claims of 
 the gospel. His fears were aroused by a 
 dangerous sickness ; and his ' feelings were 
 somewhat softened by the kind attentions of 
 Christian friends. He consented to read 
 some of the books which they gave him ; and 
 the thought struck him with great force, 
 " There must be something in this religion." 
 He was a long time fighting, his way against 
 infidel objections and doubts, but at length 
 came to the resolution, that he would do noth- 
 ing else until he had satisfied himself of the 
 truth of Christianity, and had complied with 
 
CONVERSION. 129 
 
 its requisitions. This, he supposed, might 
 take Mm about three days ; but, at the end of 
 that time, he had learned only his own weak- 
 ness and helplessness, and his exposure to the 
 wrath of an offended God.' He now began, 
 for the first time, to pray, and even consented 
 to attend a prayer-meeting. " The Christians 
 whom I saw there," says he, " I regarded as 
 the happiest of human beings, while I was 
 myself the most miserable. I saw that I had 
 no moral fitness for heaven, and knew not how 
 I could be happy if admitted there. I saw 
 the justice of God in consigning me to hell, 
 and knew not how he could be just, and save 
 me. I regarded myself as irretrievably lost, 
 and given over to despair and ruin; but, 
 when every other expedient failed, my 
 thoughts turned to that Jesus whom I had 
 despised and rejected : and the question arose, 
 ' Will he yet save me if I put my trust in 
 him ? He saved the dying thief on the cross : 
 will he, can he, save me ? ' I resolved at once 
 to venture upon him ; and I carried my reso- 
 lution into effect. I came, in faith, to the foot 
 
130 CONVERSION. 
 
 of the cross, and heartily and forever commit- 
 ted myself to his hands. Immediately I felt 
 relief ; and the peace of God took possession 
 of my soul. I was astonished to find how- 
 sweet the name 'of Jesus was to me, — that 
 name which formerly had been my loathing 
 and abhorrence. There seemed a perfect 
 heaven in the name of Jesus ; and I wanted to 
 think of nothing else. I loved to pray to 
 God in the name of Christ, and deemed it 
 my highest honor and privilege to be called a 
 Christian. I soon became satisfied that God 
 had brought me out of darkness into his mar- 
 vellous light, and made me a subject of re- 
 newing grace ; and the experience of twenty 
 years has but served to confirm me in this 
 assurance." 
 
 7. In the town of M , in the State of 
 
 New York, lives a Mr. B., who was once a 
 boisterous champion for the doctrine of uni- 
 versal salvation ; but being seized with a 
 violent disease, and brought apparently near 
 to the reahties 'of eternity, he experienced 
 some painful misgivings. With regard to his 
 
CONVERSION. 131 
 
 favorite doctrine, the inquiry forced itself 
 upon him, "Will it bear the test?" It 
 seemed to him as though all the interests of 
 eternity were concentrated on this inquiry, 
 " Will it bear the test? " But the suspense 
 involved in this momentous inquiry was short. 
 Conscience awoke, and the awful delusion 
 fled. The wailing of the pit seemed too near 
 and too well deserved to be scoffed at. A 
 conviction of his own vileness and guilt swept 
 away the whole array of proofs which he had 
 industriously collected in favor of Universal- 
 ism. In anguish of spirit, ke exclaimed, " I 
 am undone ! I am about to die ; and an eter- 
 nal hell must be my portion ! " 
 
 His former associates said to him, " Don't 
 be frightened : God is merciful, and can't do 
 wrong." — "I know it," he replied. " And 
 that is what troubles me. His mercy I have 
 abused, and deserve nothing but wrath. No : 
 God cannot do wrong. He will not do so 
 wrong as to let me escape. I see no way in 
 which I can be saved. "* 
 
 In this state of mind, he remained two 
 
132 CONVERSION. 
 
 weeks. At length he began to think of the 
 atonement^ — an atonement wrought out by 
 Christ for the chief of sinners. A gleam of 
 hope that possibly God , might yet forgive 
 him through the atonement entered his mind. 
 He fastened upon it with all the energy of 
 a sinking soul. He threw himself at once 
 at the foot of the cross, resolving, if he per- 
 ished, to perish there ; and soon his troubled 
 spirit found rest : he rejoiced greatly, be- 
 lieving with all his heart. From that time 
 he began to recover, and has ever since ex- 
 hibited a faith and life in consistency with the 
 doctrine of the cross. 
 
SECTION XII. 
 
 Remarks on the Preceding Narratives. 
 
 THE cases of conversion above described 
 have been selected from different coun- 
 tries and periods, and from persons of differ- 
 ent ages and denominations, — the learned 
 and the unlearned, the aged and the young, 
 — with the design to show, not only the fact 
 of this great a^jd needed change, but that 
 everywhere, and under all circumstances, it 
 is substantially the same thing. The necessi- 
 ty for it lies in our very nature, — the fallen 
 and corrupted nature of man ; and the renew- 
 al of that nature — the recovery of the lost 
 and ruined soul to purity, peace, and a 
 meetness for heaven — must be in all cases es- 
 sentially the same. It is a turning from the 
 broad to the narrow way, — a change in our 
 
 133 
 
134 CONVERSION. 
 
 internal exercises and affections from those 
 which are sinful to those which are holy. 
 The form of the first holy affection may vary ; 
 and it will, according to, the object in view 
 of which it is put forth. It may be one of 
 love or penitence or submission or faith. 
 But whatever its form, if it be a holy affec- 
 tion, the change which it inaugurates is con- 
 version ; and the subject of it becomes a new 
 creature in Christ Jesus*. 
 
 In all the conversions that have been de- 
 scribed, we see that God works b^ means. It 
 is sometimes said that God could, if he jjleased, 
 convert souls without means. But is this 
 statement true ? Does God^ver convert sin- 
 ners without means ? Is it possible that he 
 should ? Can he shed abroad his love in any 
 heart, and yet nothing be loved ? Must there 
 not be an object of love before the mind, and 
 some reason or motive presented why it should 
 be loved ? And so of repentance or faith, or 
 any other holy affection. Persons cannot re- 
 pent or believe .in view of nothing, and 
 when no motives are presented, or m'eans 
 
CONVERSION. 135 
 
 used, to enkindle and draw forth these holy 
 affections. To convert a sinner without 
 means would be, to our apprehension, some- 
 thing more than a miracle : it would be a 
 natural impossibihty. 
 
 The means which God employs for the 
 awakening and conversion of sinners are, as 
 we have seen in the cases above cited, various. 
 In the case of Paul, a miracle was wrought 
 for this purpose. In the case of Luther, a 
 storm of thunder was made the means of 
 arousing a stupid soul. Sometimes it is a fit 
 of sickness, or the death of a friend, or (as in 
 the case of Bunyan) the conversation and 
 example of Christians. Most commonly, how- 
 ever, it is in the written or preached word of 
 God, — the great and solemn truths of the 
 gospel. Says Paul to the Corinthians, "I 
 have begotten you through the gospeV The 
 gospel, when accompanied by the Spirit's 
 power, is as "the fire and the hammer to 
 break the rock in pieces." In ten thousand 
 instances, it has proved itseK to be " mighty, 
 through God, to the pulling down of strong- 
 holds." 
 
136 CONVERSION. 
 
 But, whatever means may be employed in 
 bringing sinners to Christ, the grand efficient, 
 in every case, is the Spirit's power^ — a pow- 
 er exerted through the medium of our facul- 
 ties, and in perfect consistency with those 
 mental processes and laws which God has 
 himself established. Hence, through the en- 
 tire change, the subject of it feels no con- 
 straint put upon himself. He thinks his own 
 thoughts, and exercises all his faculties with 
 perfect freedom. It is he that feels and wills 
 and acts. It is he that turns from his evil 
 ways^ and commences walking in those ways 
 of wisdom which are pleasantness, and those 
 paths which are' peace. 
 
 ■ In nearly all the cases which have been 
 given, we see a preparatory work of the 
 Spirit preceding the great and decisive 
 change. Ordinarily, there is first an awaken- 
 ing, then, conviction, and then conversion ; 
 and, in most of the conversions which took 
 place in this country years ago, we are struck 
 with the thordughness of the convictions 
 
 which were experienced. The subjects gen- 
 
CONVERSION. 137 
 
 erally were led to see and to acknowledge 
 the entire justice of God in their condemna- 
 tion : they saw that they deserved eternal 
 punishment, and felt, that, if it were inflicted, 
 they should have no reason to complain. 
 Now, this is the proper measure of conviction. 
 When persons are brought to this point, and 
 not before, conviction has had its perfect 
 work. It deserves consideration, whether 
 this measure of conviction has been com- 
 monly reached in our own times, and whether 
 this may not be the reason that conversions 
 of late have not been more thorough and 
 satisfactory. 
 
 It may be further remarked, that, in nearly 
 all the conversions which have been de- 
 scribed, the subjects of them could find no 
 rest until they planted their feet on the 
 ground of Ohrisfs atonement. The first 
 effort of the awakened sinner commonly is, 
 to reform his life, to make himself better, to 
 work out a righteousness in which to trust. 
 But, if the work of the Spirit goes on, the 
 sinner soon finds that all such efforts are vain : 
 
138 CONVERSION. 
 
 he is '' nothing better, but rather grows 
 worse." His conviction and distress increase 
 upon him, until he is ready to despair ; when 
 he gets a view of Christ and his atonement, 
 and finds peace and pardon there. Bunyan's 
 Pilgrim could not be rid of his burden, until 
 it rolled off at the foot of the cross. Noav, 
 this shows us the vital necessity of the atone- 
 ment, if we would have joy and peace in 
 believing ; and this remark is the more 
 important at the present time, when great 
 efforts are making, not merely by liberals and 
 infidels, but by some who claim to be evan- 
 gelical Christians, to frame a religion without 
 an atonement, and thus take away our only 
 foundation from us. Such a religion will not 
 give the despairing sinner peace. Of such a 
 gospel, we may well be afraid. 
 
 A part of the preparatory work of the 
 Spirit in . conversion may be called a divine 
 illumination. Light is poured in upon the 
 darkened soul of the sinner, enabling Jiim to 
 see the truth respecting God and himself, 
 and divine things generally, as he never did 
 
CONVERSION, 139 
 
 before. The first effect of this iUumination 
 is in awakening and conviction ; but, in the 
 nearest approaches to conversion, it beconies 
 clearer and stronger. Thus, in the conver- 
 sion of Pres. Edwards, or immediately pre- 
 ceding it, he says, " There came into my 
 soul, and was, as it were, diffused through it, 
 a sense of the glory of the Divine Being 
 quite different from any thing I ever expe- 
 rienced before." And so Brainerd says,'* 
 " As I was walking in a dark, thick grove, 
 an imspeakable glory seemed to open to the 
 view and apprehension of my soul. It was a 
 new inward apprehension or view of God 
 such as I never had before." The light 
 imparted at this stage of the process of 
 change, as in the preceding stages, is not, 
 howaver, to be regarded as a new revelation 
 of truth: the truth existetl before, and had 
 been revealed before ; but the soul was not in 
 a situation to appreciate it, and to feel its 
 power. Eyes it had; but they saw not. 
 Faculties it had; but they were engrossed 
 with other things. 
 
140 CONVERSION. 
 
 Perhaps in every case where the first holy 
 affection is love to God, it is preceded, as with 
 Edwards and Brainerd, by new and glorious 
 views of God. These constitute the object 
 of the new affection, and the motive by which 
 it is awakened and drawn forth. And so 
 the other forms of conversion are preceded 
 by new and appropriate views. Thus where 
 the first holy affection is repentance, there 
 will be new views of the baseness and odious- 
 ness of sin. Where the first holy exercise is 
 submission, there will be new views of the 
 excellency of God's government, and of the 
 reasonableness and propriety of its claims ; 
 and, where the first holy exercise is faith, 
 there will be, as in the case of Cowper, new 
 views of Christ, and of the way of salvation. 
 Still, there is nothing in conversion, either in 
 its preparatory stages or in itself, which can 
 be called miraculous. No law of mental 
 operation is supervened or interrupted. The 
 subject perceives and thinks and feels, and 
 turns freely unto the Lord. He makes to 
 himself a new heart and a new spirit, and 
 
conversion: 141 
 
 becomes an obedient subject of the kingdom 
 of Christ. 
 
 I have presented, in the foregoing pages, 
 many instances of conversion, — the most of 
 them pertaining to some of the more eminent 
 servants of God, — because I feel sure that 
 the reading of them must be interesting and 
 improving. We might infer as much as this 
 from the fact, that, in the Book of Acts, the 
 story of Paul's conversion is recorded no less 
 than three times. In the reading of such 
 narratives, we learn the true nature of con- 
 version in the several forms which it assumes. 
 We see the workings of the human mind and 
 heart under the strivings of the Holy Spirit. 
 We learn the reality and power of the reli- 
 gion of Christ. We see all this illustrated in 
 actual experiment. The principal danger of 
 such reading may be, perhaps, that we make 
 the experience of others a standard for our- 
 selves, feeling that our exercises must con- 
 form in every particular to theirs before we 
 are entitled to hope in Christ. The Bible, 
 we must remember, is our only rule ; and we 
 
142 CONVERSION. 
 
 must stand approved or condemned, according 
 as we conform to that. An apostle lias told 
 •us of some who, " measuring themselves by 
 themselves, and comparing themselves among 
 themselves, are not wise." 
 
SECTION XII. 
 
 HiNDERANCES TO CONVERSION. 
 
 THE hinderances in the way of conversion 
 — those which present themselves to 
 the awakened sinner to keep him away from 
 Christ — are numerous. We shall specify 
 but a few. 
 
 1. One of the most prominent of these is 
 pride; and this operates in several ways. 
 Under the influence of pride, some persons 
 cannot consent to the humbling, abasing con- 
 ditions of the gospel. They cannot adopt 
 the confession of the prodigal, " Father, we 
 have sinned against Heaven and before thee, 
 and are not worthy to be called thy chil- 
 dren." They cannot cry with the distressed 
 pubHcan, " God, be merciful to me a sinner ! " 
 They wish to be saved, but cannot quite con- 
 
 143 
 
144 CONVERSION. 
 
 sent to receive salvation as the free gift of 
 God's grace. It would be more pleasant to 
 them to reflect that they had saved them- 
 selves, or, at least, that they had done some- 
 thing towards it, than to be obliged to ac- 
 knowledge that they had deserved nothing 
 but destruction, and that their salvation was 
 the mere gift of sovereign mercy. 
 
 Pride prevents others from Embracing the 
 gospel, on account of the disgrace which they 
 suppose attached to it. " What would be 
 thought and said of me if I should become a 
 Christian? I should be the derision of my 
 former associates and friends. They would 
 daugh at me, and point at me the finger of 
 scorn." Many, who have been the subjects 
 of solemn impressions, and were almost per- 
 suaded to be Christians, have been stopped 
 precisely here. " Religion, if I embrace it, 
 will disgrace me ; and therefore I put it from 
 me." 
 
 Pride of opinion^ too, is often an effectual 
 hinderance in the way of conversion. Per- 
 sons have long been known as the advocates 
 
CONVERSION. 145 
 
 of some heretical opinion, some zsm, which 
 is palpably at variance with the gospel of 
 Christ : they have argued for it ; they have 
 been identified with it ; they have supported 
 it, and suffered for it ; and they feel as though 
 they cannot give it up. And yet they are 
 not quite satisfied with it. They fear it is a 
 sandy foundation, and are half-inchned, at 
 times, to abandon it, and plant their feet upon 
 the rock of the gospel. "But this will be to 
 renounce all my old opinions, to contradict 
 my past professions, to pass a censure upon 
 m}^ whole course of life. And how can I do 
 this ? No : I am committed for weal or for 
 woe ; and, true or false, I must flounder on, as 
 I have done, and meet the consequences." 
 There can be no doubt that many awakened 
 persons have been kept out of the kingdom 
 of Christ in the way here pointed out. Pride 
 of opinion has shut the door against them, and 
 they are excluded. 
 
 2. Inquiring souls very often fail of con- 
 version through the strong and multiform 
 influence of the ivorld. The love of wealth 
 
 10 
 
146 CONVERSION. 
 
 keeps many back from Christ. They think 
 well of religion, and would be glad, on many 
 accounts, to possess it : but they have made 
 up their minds to be rich, have formed their 
 plans accordingly; and they are sure that 
 religion — strict, personal, heart religion — 
 would break in upon their plans, and might 
 defeat them altogether. Here is a man, we 
 will suppose, who is pursuing wealth in some 
 unlawful calling, as John Newton was when 
 engaged in the slave-trade, or' as thousands 
 now are in the sale of intoxicating liquors. 
 Or here is a man engaged in a lawful busi- 
 ness ; but, in order to increase his gains, he 
 is pursuing it unlawfully, — he is pursuing 
 it, it may be, in the practice of fraud, or 
 in violation of the sabbath, or he is pursuing 
 it so absorbingly as to leave him no time or 
 heart for the duties of religion. Now, all of 
 these different characters know, or may know, 
 that their courses of life are wrong. They 
 often feel painfully that they are wrong. 
 They are not -satisfied with them. Their 
 own hearts condemn them; and God, they 
 
CONVERSION. 147 
 
 know, " is greater than their heart, and 
 knoweth all things." They are almost per- 
 suaded, at times, to forsake their present 
 courses, make peace with their consciences, 
 and press into the kingdom of Christ ; but 
 their worldly interests are all puUing the 
 other way. If they become Christians, it 
 must be at a great sacrifice ; and they cannot 
 make it. They love the treasures of earth, 
 and ivill have them^ even though the riches 
 of heaven are forfeited. 
 
 Others are kept back from conversion by 
 the claims of worldly ambition. Popularity, 
 promotion, to climb the steeps of worldly 
 honor and power, this is the ruling passion 
 of their souls. They believe religion is a 
 reality ; they believe it is important, and im- 
 portant for them ; they feel their need of it, 
 especially under trials, and are almost per- 
 suaded, at times, to embrace it. " But, if I 
 renounce the world, the world will renounce 
 me. If I become a Christian, my prospects 
 of worldly honor and promotion are defeated ; 
 and I cannot make the sacrifice. Those who 
 
148 CONVERSION. 
 
 choose the honor which cometh from God 
 may have it : my heart is set upon that honor 
 which cometh from man." 
 
 Many persons, when pressed on the subject 
 of religion, are kept from it by their love of 
 sinful pleasures. This is frequently the case 
 with the young. They are attached to the 
 pleasures and amusements of the world: 
 their hearts are set upon them ; and they can- 
 not give them up, as they feel that they 
 should be constrained to do, were they to be- 
 come Christians. 
 
 Worldly connections and associates often 
 have influence with young inquirers, and in- 
 crease the difficulty of their conversion. They 
 could consent to go to Cluist if their com- 
 panions would go with them ; but to come 
 out, and be separate, and stand up for God 
 alone, involves a cross which they have no 
 strength to bear. They conclude, therefore, 
 in opposition to their better judgment, — In 
 opposition to the voice of reason, of con- 
 science, and of God, — they conclude to fol- 
 low a multitude to do evil, and risk the 
 
CONVERSION. 149 
 
 consequences. To please their companions 
 in sin, tliey consent to throw away their 
 souls. 
 
 3. Conversion is often delayed, if not 
 finally prevented, by mistaken views as to the 
 nature of it. Persons are looking and wait- 
 ing for some kind of change which they have 
 no reason to expect, and which, if experienced, 
 would do them no good, while they put off 
 that vital spiritual transformation without 
 which they cannot enter heaven. I once 
 heard two educated men, professional men, 
 who were past the middle of life, and had been 
 brought up under the gospel, relate their reli- 
 gious experience. Both hoped that they had 
 been recently converted ; and they gave as a 
 reason why they had neglected rehgion so 
 long, that they had entirely misapprehended 
 the nature of conversion. One said that he 
 had always supposed conversion to be some- 
 thing like a shock of electricity, — something 
 that would dart through a man like lightning, 
 and be as palpable to the sense, and leave no 
 uncertainty afterwards whether he was con- 
 
150 CONVERSION. 
 
 verted or not. The other was less explicit in 
 his statement. At any rate, he had always 
 considered conversion as a thing entirely 
 beyond his power, and in regard to which he 
 had no responsibility. He believed that 
 there was such a change, that it was an 
 important one ; and he had long been hoping 
 that he might, at some time, experience it. 
 But it did not come ; and he felt under no 
 particular obligation in regard to it. Now, it 
 is to be feared that the views here expressed 
 are pretty common among the impenitent. 
 And they account for the fact that so many 
 of this class are not sooner awakened, — that 
 they can hear the gospel from year to year, 
 and still remain indifferent and unconverted. 
 
 4. The conversion of awakened, convicted 
 sinners is often delayed, if not prevented, by 
 the unscriptural advice of religious friends. 
 This point may be illustrated by examples. 
 An excellent minister, now deceased, de- 
 scribes the following case : " A young 
 woman of my congregation, of a yielding, 
 amiable disposition, became alarmed at/ her 
 
CONVERSION. 151 
 
 situation, and set herself to seek the Lord. 
 I visited her, and conversed with her repeat- 
 edly. Her seriousness became more and 
 more deep. I left her one day with a strong 
 expectation, that, the next time I should see 
 her, she would be at peace with God. The 
 next time I saw her, her appearance was 
 changed. Her anxieties were evidently 
 diminished. She met me with a smile that 
 surprised and pained me. I said, ' Have you 
 given your heart to Christ, Mary ? ' ' Oh, no I 
 not yet,' she replied ; ' but I do not feel so 
 bad as I did.' — ' Why not ? ' said I : 'what 
 reason have you to feel any better ? ' — 'I 
 don't know as you will think I have any 
 reason ; but I hope I shall be a Christian by 
 and by. I don't feel in so much haste as I 
 did ; and the sinfulness of my heart does not 
 trouble me so much.' — ' My dear Mary,' said 
 I, with astonishment and pain, ' how is this ? 
 I expected different things. Evidently your 
 seriousness is diminished. You care less for 
 your salvation than, you did. What has 
 altered your feehngs since I saw you ? ' — 
 
152 CONVERSION. 
 
 ' Why, when you left me the last time, and 
 told me to repent that very day, I was 
 dreadfully troubled. I felt that my heart 
 was opposed to God ; and I was afraid to 
 think of living without Christ another hour. 
 Your last words, to-day^ to-day^ kept ringing 
 in my ears : I could not get rid of them. 
 But, pretty soon. Miss S. came in; and I told 
 her how I felt. But she told me not to be 
 discouraged ; only keep on seeking the Lord. 
 She said I was doing well ; and, if I perse- 
 vered, I should soon get rehgion.' — 'And you 
 believed her, did you ? ' — ' Yes, I believed 
 her ; and I have felt better ever since.' — ' Felt 
 better, Mary ? Why, she told you an un- 
 truth ; and you are miserably deceived ! How 
 can you feel better, while you are rejecting 
 Christ, and exposed every moment to perish 
 forever ? ' 
 
 " I did my best to arouse her ; but it was 
 all in vain. Her anxieties departed: she' 
 ceased to pray ; and, in a few days, she was 
 as careless and wgrldly as ever." 
 
 A similar case, though not terminating so 
 
CONVERSION. 153 
 
 painfully, once fell under my own observa- 
 tion. In a revival of religion in the town of 
 
 C , several young ladies of about the 
 
 same age were awakened, and attended the 
 inquiry-meeting together. In a short time, 
 they were all hopefully converted, save one. 
 This one appeared as well as either of them 
 at first ; and I confidently expected to find her 
 soon rejoicing in hope. But, to my surprise, 
 she seemed to make no progress. Her 
 anxieties became no greater : her convictions 
 no deeper, but rather the reverse. I became 
 alarmed for her, and sought a private inter- 
 view. I learned that she slept with a pious 
 aunt, a member of the church, who used to 
 talk with her when in bed. Her aunt told 
 her that she must not be so distressed about 
 herself; that she was doing well: the 
 spirit was striving with her, and that she did 
 not doubt that she would be soon converted. 
 " Now, aunt's conversation," said the young 
 lady, '-'• always comforts me ; but, somehow or 
 other, yours distresses me." 
 
 I gave the young lady the best advice I 
 
154 CONVERSION. 
 
 could, and lost no opportunity of seeing her 
 aunt. I told her what her niece had said. 
 " And now," said I, " if you do not wish to 
 ruin your niece forever, you must stop talk- 
 ing to her after this manner. The Holy 
 Spirit is striving with her, to bring her to an 
 immediate submission and repentance. The 
 Spirit is ringing in her ears, ' Behold, npw is 
 the accepted time ! behold, now is the day of 
 salvation ! ' But you are encouraging her to 
 put the matter off. ' Don't be discouraged : 
 you will soon feel better. The Spirit is striv- 
 ing ; and you must wait God's time.' " 
 
 The course which I took in the case was 
 successful. The aunt learned a lesson which 
 she had not known before ; and the niece was 
 soon rejoicing in a Saviour's love. 
 
 5. Conversions are often hindered by an 
 unwillingness on the part of the subject to 
 renounce some darling sin, or to perform some 
 acknowledged Christian duty. How often, 
 for example, are awakened persons kept out 
 of the kingdom of Christ, because they can- 
 not consent to pray in their families ; or to go 
 
CONVERSION. 155 
 
 to a neighbor whom they have mjured, and 
 ask his forgiveness ; or to attend an inquiry- 
 meeting, and let their feelings be known ! 
 
 There is, in the case of almost every per- 
 son, a sin which most easily besets him, and 
 which will be the most likely to work his ruin. 
 It is that to which he is most strongly tempt- 
 ed ; that into which he most frequently falls ; 
 that which is hkely to live longest, and die 
 last, in his soul. Many persons, when awak- 
 ened and impressed, find this particular sin 
 too strong for them. They can give up scores 
 of other things ; but the right hand they can- 
 not consent to cut off, the right eye they 
 cannot pluck out. The chain of the destroy- 
 er is so closely fastened upon them, at this 
 point, that they cannot break it ; and it drags 
 them downward to perdition. 
 
 A young lady of my acquaintance had 
 been for some time anxious, but made no 
 progress, and seemed likely to relapse into a 
 state of indifference. In conversation with 
 her one evening, I asked her whether there 
 was not some sin which she had not re- 
 
156 • CONVERSION. 
 
 nounced, and was not willing to renounce; 
 whether she was really willing to give up all 
 for Christ. I urged her to press this inquiry 
 upon her conscience and, heart, and learn the 
 result. The next morning, she came to me 
 with a radiant countenance, and told me that 
 the controversy was all over. " I have been 
 a great lover," said she, " as you know, of 
 fashionable amusements. I have hoped that 
 they might, somehow, be reconciled with a 
 life of religion ; at any rate, I was not will- 
 ing to give them up. But the controversy is 
 over now : the last cord that bound me 
 down to sin and the world is severed ; and my 
 soul is at liberty. The snare of the fowler is 
 broken ; and I am escaped." From that day 
 she became a haj^py Christian, and still lives 
 rejoicing in the Lord. 
 
 6. Many persons, when the necessity of 
 conversion is urged upon thern, are kept back 
 by a procrastinating Spirit. They cannot 
 think of finally rejecting religion, — of put- 
 ting it from them, to be thought of no more. 
 But they are easily persuaded to delay it for 
 
CONVERSION. 157 
 
 a season. They see no particular reason for 
 haste. They flatter themselves that they 
 have a good while to live. God is merciful, 
 and will grant them further opportunities. 
 Others, they know, have delayed too long ; 
 but this, they are resolved, shall not be the 
 case with them. Others have broken their 
 promises of future amendment ; but the}^ in- 
 tend to keep then^s : and so they flatter and 
 quiet themselves in sin. They ease, for the 
 time, their troubled consciences, and in most 
 cases ease them finally and forever. Very 
 few who settle down on this foundation ever 
 awake from it on earth. They continue to 
 flatter and promise and delay till the limit of 
 mercy is passed, and they are gone forever. 
 
 7. I mention but another hinderance in the 
 way of conversion, and this is the indulgence 
 of an unfounded hope; and this, it may be 
 feared, is no uncommon case. The subject 
 of it is deceived respecting himself. He 
 thinks himself to be something, when he is 
 nothing. He has a name to live when he is 
 dead. The grounds of a fallacious hope are 
 
158 CONVERSION. 
 
 many, — too many to be specified here. Yet 
 when a person has settled down upon any one 
 of them, and feels secure, he is in a situation 
 where the arrows of truth will not be likely 
 to affect him, where the sword of the Spirit 
 wiir scarcely come. The delusion, it may be 
 feared, will continue until life and hope are 
 gone. 
 
SECTION XIII. 
 
 The Importance of Conversion. 
 
 HAVING explained the nature of con- 
 version, and illustrated it by examples 
 taken from real life, it remains that we urge 
 some considerations, setting forth its high im- 
 portance. With God's blessing, we hope to 
 induce every impenitent reader to attend to 
 the subject without delay. 
 
 1. My first argument for the importance of 
 the change in question, will be drawn from its 
 reasonableness. It is a perfectly reasonable 
 chancre. It is so in all the forms which it 
 ever assumes. Conversion sometimes com- 
 mences in the love of Grod ; and is not this 
 reasonable ? What can be more reasonable 
 than to love a Being who is infinitely lovely, 
 whose character combines in perfection ev- 
 
 159 
 
160 CONVERSION. 
 
 ery amiable and attractive quality ? We are 
 also to regard God as our greatest, kindest 
 benefactor ; and shall we not love him for 
 what he has done for us ? Shall we not re- 
 turn to him the grateful affections of our 
 souls ? 
 
 Conversion is often the beginning of repent- 
 ance^ — of holy, godly sorrow for sin. And 
 what can be more reasonable than sorrow for 
 a fault ? The merest child knows, when he 
 has done wrong, that he ought to be sorry 
 for it. If a neighbor has injuriously treated 
 any of us, we think that he ought to be sorry, 
 and to make all the reparation in his power ; 
 and we think right. Now, every sin is in- 
 juriously treating the Supreme Being. It is 
 a fault committed directly against God ; and 
 no words can make it plainer than it is on the 
 bare mention of it, that godly sorrow for sin 
 — that sorrow which worketh repentance 
 unto life — is perfectly reasonable. 
 
 I have said that conversion is often the be- 
 ginning of holy submission to Qod. And is 
 not this a reasonable duty? - God certainly 
 
CONVERSION. 161 
 
 has a right to rule and reign over us. He 
 made us from nothing. He is the Author and 
 Bestower of all our blessings. We are abso- 
 lutely Ms ; and he has a right to give us laws, 
 and to dispose of us according to his pleasure. 
 And for us to refuse submission is to resist, 
 at every step, what is reasonable and riglit. 
 We are to reflect, too, that the government 
 of God is not only rightful and legitimate, but 
 it is infinitely ivise and good. The ends at 
 which it aims are the noblest possible ; and 
 the means by which it proposes to secure 
 these ends are the best that can be conceived. 
 It is the height of wickedness, therefore, to 
 resist such a government. It is the perfection 
 of reason to submit to it, and rejoice in it. 
 
 Conversion, in many cases, is the beginning 
 oi faith, — true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ ; 
 and, in this view, it is perfectly reasonable. 
 What are the facts in the case ? Here is the 
 sinner, oppressed with guilt, condemned by 
 the law, with no means of help or deliverance 
 in his power, and with nothing in prospect 
 but " indignation and wrath, tribulation and 
 11 
 
162 CONVERSION. 
 
 anguish," and that forever. And here is the 
 great Saviour, with extended arms, able to 
 save him, willing to save him, inviting him to 
 come and receive salvatipn as the gift of his 
 love. And now is it not reasonable that the 
 sinner should listen and comply? Is it not 
 of all things most reasonable that he should 
 come to Christ, and embrace him, as the 
 wretched Cowper did, and rejoice in the ful- 
 ness, of his salvation ? 
 
 In every view that can be taken of the sub- 
 ject, we see that the conversion of the heart 
 from sin and Satan unto God is a most 
 reasonable service. I urge it, because it is a 
 reasonable service. It is one, I know, which 
 reason and conscieace, not less than the Word 
 of God, demand. 
 
 2. I urge, secondly, in favor of conversion, 
 that it is followed by the best present results. 
 It saves from much misery, and confers much 
 happiness, in the present life. Let us consid- 
 er, briefly, some of those prolific sources of 
 unhappiness which are wide open to us while 
 living in sin, and from which nothing but 
 conversion can deliver us. 
 
CONVERSION. 163 
 
 One of these is the stings and reproaches 
 of conscience. Every sinner has a conscience, 
 which, however seared and stifled, will, at 
 times, reproach and distress him. It will 
 tell him of neglected duties and violated obli- 
 gations, of mercies abused and guilt incurred. 
 It will summon him, at times, to a solemn 
 reckoning, and warn him of the awful retri- 
 bution that awaits him. The mental agonies 
 which are endured from the stings and re- 
 proaches of conscience are often very great : 
 they are enough to imbitter the whole cup 
 of life. And there is no way in which these 
 miseries can be assuaged but by conversion. 
 Let the sinner turn from his evil ways, and 
 enter on the possession and practice of holi- 
 ness, and that same conscience which before 
 was a terror and a trouble to him will be 
 henceforth his most complacent associate: 
 it wiU whisper peace to his pained heart, and 
 bless him mth its approving smiles. 
 
 Another source of unhappiness to the 
 sinner, while Hvmg in indulged sin, grows 
 out of that war with himself, that inward 
 
1C4 CONVERSION. 
 
 struggle and conflict^ to which he is perpetu- 
 ally subject. This is a conflict between the 
 different parts of his own moral nature, 
 which the practice of sin has set at variance, 
 and which nothing but conversion can ever 
 harmonize. In his present state, reason 
 dictates one thing to the sinner, and he pur- 
 sues another. Conscience points him in one 
 direction, and he follows another. His 
 better judgment whispers, " This is the way : 
 walk ye in it ; " but his rebellious heart 
 refuses to obey. And in this interminable 
 conflict between reason and inclination, con- 
 science and will, the better judgmenb and an 
 unyielding heart, his soul is continually dis- 
 turbed and agitated: it is rendered "like 
 the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose 
 waters cast up mire and dirt." When the 
 sinner turns from his evil ways, and never 
 before, thi^ war in the bosom ceases. . In the 
 moment of conversion, the heart jnelds, the 
 will bows, and the nobler principles of the 
 soul become predominant. Thenceforward, 
 and never before, are they listened to and 
 obeyed. 
 
CONVERSION. 165 
 
 Still another source of unhappiness to the 
 sinner consists in a continual and painful 
 sense of unpreparedness to meet God in his 
 providential dispensations. Much as the sinner 
 is unreconciled to God, he knows that he is 
 in his sovereign hands, to do with him as he 
 pleases. He can kill him, or spare him alive, 
 prosper or afflict him, as seemeth good in his 
 sight. He knows, too, that the providences 
 of God are inscrutable. Between himself and 
 the entire future, there hangs up a dark and 
 impenetrable curtain, so that he cannot tell 
 what a day or an hour may bring forth. He 
 is in health to-day; but he may be sick to- 
 morrow. He is in prosperity to-day ; but he 
 may be in deep affliction to-morrow. He is 
 ahve on the earth to-day ; but to-morrow he 
 may be dead, and in the world of despair. 
 He is completely in the hands of God ; and, in 
 what manner God is intending to dispose of 
 him, he cannot tell : and when he thinks of 
 this subject, as think he must at times, he is 
 disquieted. He feels alarmed: he knowshe 
 is not ready to meet God in his providences, 
 
166 CONVERSION. 
 
 — especially those distressing, crushing prov- 
 idences, which may be very near to over- 
 whelm him. Now, there is no way in which 
 this source of unhappiness can ever be dried 
 up but by conversion. When the sinner 
 turns from his sins, and enters into the service 
 of Christ, he is prepared for any thing. 
 Nothing can now injure him. Come prosper- 
 ity or adversity, sickness or health, life or 
 death, he is prepared to meet it. He is in 
 the number of those now to whom all things 
 work together for good. 
 
 I shall mention but another source of 
 unhappiness to the sinner, while living in a 
 course of sin ; and this is a constant feehng 
 of exposure to the merited wrath and indig- 
 nation of Heaven. He knows that that God 
 at whose mercy he lies, and on whose bounty 
 he lives, is angry with him. He knows that 
 he must be angry with him. He sees the rod 
 of his anger extended over him, ready to 
 inflict the. merited vengeance ; and he trem- 
 bles at his dread exposuiie. He feels as an 
 ag:ed sinner once told me that he had felt 
 
CONVERSION, 167 
 
 habitually, for forty years, — as though a 
 drawn dagger was all the while pointed at his 
 heart. Now, with such a feeling, it matters 
 little what our worldly circumstances may be. 
 We may be as rich as Croesus, and may have 
 ever so much of the honors and pleasures of 
 the. world, this feeling of exposure to the 
 merited wrath of God is alone sufficient to 
 spoil it all. 
 
 Some of my readers will recollect a story, 
 which was in our school-books when we were 
 children, of the t}T:ant of Sicily and his flat- 
 terer. The flatterer undertook to persuade 
 Dionysius that he was the happiest man in 
 the world. "You have riches, honors, and 
 pleasures in abundance, every thing that your 
 heart can desire ; and you are the happiest 
 man in the world." — " WeU, flatterer," said 
 Dionysius, " have you a mind to try it ? " — 
 "Why, yes 1 I should like to try it very 
 much." So the kmg ordered a splendid 
 banquet to be prepared for him. The tables 
 were loaded with all'the dainties of the East; 
 the flatterer was seated down to them in 
 
168 CONVERSION. 
 
 great state ; and, for a moment, he thought 
 himself happy. But, just as he was beginning 
 to taste of the feast, he chanced to cast his 
 eye upward, when he saw a glittering sword, 
 suspended by a single hair, hanging directly 
 over his head. Immediately the cup of pleas- 
 ure was dashed from his lips ; his fancied 
 enjoyments were all spoiled. He begged the 
 king to remove him in a moment from a 
 situation so appalling and so dreadful. Now, 
 this fitly illustrates the case of the sinner, 
 under the government of God. Whatever 
 his worldy circumstances may be, there hangs 
 suspended over him, by a single hair, the 
 glittering sword of divine wrath. It may 
 fall at any time. It must fall in a very httle 
 time, and pierce him to the soul. So far as 
 his eyes are open to see any thing of a spirit- 
 ual nature, he must see his awful danger: 
 he must fear and tremble in view of it ; and 
 there is no way in which he can quiet hi^ 
 fears, and escape from this state of awful ex- 
 posure, but by conversion. Let him turn 
 from his sins, and submit to God ; and the 
 
CONVERSION. 169 
 
 flaming sword is at once sheathed : it is 
 taken ""out of the way. And, so far from 
 trembling in prospect of the coming wrath, 
 he rejoices in the Saviour's love. 
 
 I know that the present hfe is short, and 
 that the concerns of it are all trifles com- 
 pared with the weightier concerns of eternity ; 
 and yet it is of some importance for us to be 
 happy here, — to be happy, not in the feverish 
 pleasures of sin, but on solid, enduring prin- 
 ciples. And sure I am, that there is no such 
 happiness for any creature in the practice of 
 wickedness. It is only by tui-ning from sin, 
 or by conversion, that we have it in our power 
 to secure substantial enjoyments in the pres- 
 ent world. 
 
 3. Conversion is important, thirdly, as it is 
 the only way in which to secure the approba- 
 tion and favor of the Supreme Being ; and 
 this is a consideration, however trifling it 
 may appear to some, of very great moment. 
 Suppose that, by some act of ours, we could 
 secure the approbation of aU the inhabitants 
 of this great nation, or even of the ivorld. 
 
170 CONVERSION. 
 
 By a single act, we could draw to ourselves 
 the eyes of the whole world, and could se- 
 cure the favor of all its inhabitants, so that 
 our names should dwell on every heart, and 
 our praises be sounded by every tongue. Or, 
 to extend our views still further, suppose 
 that, by this one act, we could make ourselves 
 known, and most favorably known, to the 
 entire universe of created beings, — we could 
 attract the notice of angels, as well as of 
 men, and cause all creatures to cast upon us 
 a look of favor and a smile of love, — should 
 we not think such an act worth performing ? 
 Would not the motives^ the inducements^ to it 
 be exceedingly powerful ? 
 
 Biit what, I ask, is the favor of the united 
 world, or of the created universe, compared 
 with the favor and the approbation of God ? 
 We see, at once, that it would be as nothing. 
 The favor of the world would be, at best, but 
 mere breath, — changing, fluctuating, as the 
 wind that blows ; but the favor of God is as 
 unchanging as his- throne. The favor of the 
 world must soon pass away, and be forgotten j 
 
CONVERSIOJ^. 171 
 
 but the favor of God will endure forever. 
 The immutable, everlasting favor of God, 
 which is represented in the Scriptures as life, 
 and as even better than life, can be secured 
 by conversion^ and in no other way. While 
 we persist in our sins, we cannot enjoy it ; 
 but, when we penitently turn from them, it is 
 freely, gratuitously bestowed. 
 
 4. I urge, fourthly, the importance of con- 
 version, from the consideration that it saves 
 from eternal death. So it is represented in 
 the Scriptures, " Turn ye ! turn ye from your 
 evil ways ! for why will ye die .^ " The 
 death here spoken of cannot be temporal 
 dissolution., because conversion does not save 
 from that : converted persons die temporally^ 
 as well as others. The death intended is 
 doubtless eternal death, — that death which 
 is set forth in other Scriptures as the proper 
 wages and desert of sin. The future punish- 
 ment of the wicked is set before us in the 
 Bible by a variety of terrific and awful 
 figures ; but I know of no figurative repre- 
 sentation of it more appalling than that of 
 
172 CONVERSION. 
 
 eter7ial death. Did you ever, dear reader, 
 stand by the bedside of a dying fellow- 
 creature ? Did you witness, hour after hour, 
 his dissolving agonies? Did you see his 
 glazed eye, and the cold sweat upon his face ; 
 his anguished struggles, and convulsive 
 throes? Did you hear him groan, and see 
 him die ? Now, this is literal, temporal 
 death ; and these mortal agonies the inspired 
 writers have laid hold of, that, under the 
 image of them, as enduring forever, they 
 might adequately set forth the future punish- 
 ment of the lost. This future punishment is 
 eternal death. It is to be eternally dying, and 
 never to die ! It is to writhe and toss and 
 groan and agonize forever in the struggle 
 with death, and yet death never come to the 
 rescue, never come to end the conflict! 
 This, I repeat, is eternal death ; from which 
 conversion will save the sinner, and from 
 which nothing else can. If he will turn from 
 his evil ways, he need not, shall not., die : 
 but, persisting in them, there is no help for 
 him; there is, in this case, no deliverance 
 
CONVERSION. 173 
 
 from that dreadful destruction wliicli has 
 been described. 
 
 5. But conversion does more than to save 
 from death. I urge, fifthly, that it secures 
 life., — immortal life and bliss to the soul. It 
 introduces those who experience it into the 
 family of God. It makes them heirs of all 
 the promises, — " heirs of God, and joint- 
 heu^s with Christ, to an inheritance incorrupt- 
 ible, undefiled, and that fadeth not away." 
 They are to be kept, while here on earth, by 
 the power of God,, through faith, unto salva- 
 tion. Their path is to be that of the just, 
 which shines brighter and brighter unto the 
 perfect day. When they go down into the 
 dark valley, they shall not be deserted : they 
 shall be sustained, supported, and carried 
 triumphantly through ; and, when they ap- 
 pear in other worlds, they shall go to dwell 
 with Christ, with holy angels, and with all 
 the redeemed, in the paradise of God above. 
 In the morning of the resurrection, their 
 bodies shall be raised glorious bodies, and 
 be re-united to their happy, triumphing souls. 
 
174 CONVERSION. 
 
 Amid all the terrors of the judgment, they 
 shall stand undismayed. In the issues of it, 
 they shall be acquitted and blessed, and be 
 caught away from the judgment-bar to meet 
 their Lord in ihe air, and so shall be ever 
 with the Lord. They are to have their 
 eternal dwelling amid the glories of the 
 heavenly state. They are to advance in 
 knowledge, holiness, and bliss ; their pow- 
 ers ever expanding, and ever delightfully 
 occupied ; their measure ever enlarging and 
 ever full, for ever and ever. 
 
 Such, in its consequences — its happy, 
 glorious, interminable consequences — is con- 
 version. And who will saj^, that, considered 
 as an event., it is not one of the greatest mag- 
 nitude, and of amazing interest. No wonder 
 there is joy in heaven over one sinner that 
 repenteth: the event is enough to fill all 
 heaven with joy. And who will say, that, 
 considered as a duty.^ conversion is not one of 
 the most urgent character, and of the great- 
 est possible importance ? Other duties may 
 be neglected, and our highest interests may 
 
CONVERSION. 175 
 
 not be put at hazard ; but no person can 
 neglect or delay his conversion without put- 
 ting at hazard every thing which ought to 
 be dear to him, — his present peace, and his 
 future joys ; his comforts in this life, and his 
 everlasting consolations beyond the grave. 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 IN view of the statements which have been 
 made, and the cases described, I would 
 invite every reader to unite with me in the 
 inquiry : Are we converted persoiis ? We 
 may have had distressing convictions of sin, 
 and not be converted. We may have had 
 dreams and visions and impulses and ecsta- 
 sies, and not be converted. We may have 
 made professions, and indulged hopes, and 
 come often to the Lord's table, and not be 
 converted. But do we love and delight in 
 the holy character of God ? Do we love to 
 think of God, to pray to God, to serve and 
 please God ? Does it heartily grieve us that 
 we have ever displeased him ; and is it our 
 desire and endeavor that we do so no more ? 
 Do we submit ta the holy government of 
 God, and rejoice in it, deeming it a • great 
 
 176 
 
CONVERSION. Til 
 
 privilege to live under his government, and 
 to be in his hands ? Have we seen ourselves 
 to be not only guilty, but undone ; and, under 
 this impression, have we come to Christ, and 
 embraced him as our portion and Saviour? 
 And, having embraced him, do we desire to be 
 hke him, and to follow him? Do we desire to 
 live no longer unto ourselves, but to him who 
 died for us, and rose again ? 
 
 Now, these are decisive questions. If we 
 can answer them to our consciences in 
 the affirmative, we need not doubt : we 
 should not doubt. We are unquestionably 
 converted persons; and we have only to 
 press forward in the happy path on which we 
 have entered, in order to come to the heaven- 
 ly mansions. 
 
 But if we cannot answer the above ques- 
 tions in the affirmative, and have no such 
 feelings as are indicated by them, then, what- 
 ever else we may have, we are not converted 
 persons. We have no religion. We neell 
 not hope. 
 
 And to all my readers, whether young or 
 
 12 
 
178 CONVERSION. 
 
 old, who find themselves in this miserable 
 condition, I must ask, in conclusion. Will you 
 not now listen to the pleading voice of your 
 heavenly Father, and turn from your evil 
 ways ? You have heard what that conversion 
 is which we urge upon you. You have heard 
 of the reasonableness, the propriety of it, in 
 every form which it assumes, in every view 
 which can be taken of the subject. You 
 have heard of the miseries which it allevi- 
 ates, the sources of unhappiness which it 
 dries up, the divine favor which it secures, 
 and the joys and privileges which it confers, in 
 the present world. You have heard of that 
 dreadful death from which conversion, and 
 this alone, can save you ; and of that immor- 
 tal, enduring, and most glorious life to which 
 it conducts you. And now the question is 
 pressed home upon you, in all its force. What 
 will you do ? Will you listen ? Will you 
 obey ? Will you repent, and be converted ?' 
 You may, if you will. You must^ if you will. 
 And, if you will not, then you cannot. What 
 I mean to say is, this change can never be 
 
CONVERSION. 179 
 
 accomplished in you but with the hearty 
 concurrence and co-operation of your own 
 wills. 
 
 Nor is this a subject on which you can long 
 balance yourselves, so as not to decide it 
 either way. The fact is, you must decide it 
 one way or the other, and you will. If you 
 do not repent of your sins, you will persist 
 in them. If you do not come to Christ, you 
 will reject him. If you do not turn, you wiU 
 continue as you are. 
 
 Again, then, I would press the inquiry, 
 with all the tenderness and earnestness of 
 which I am capable. What will you do ? Will 
 you yield to the suggestions of Satan and of 
 your own evil hearts, and venture on in sin, 
 and risk the consequences ? Or will you not 
 rather listen to the monitions of conscience, 
 the impulses ' of the Spirit, and the voice of 
 God crying to you in his word, "As I live, 
 saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the 
 death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn 
 from his way, and live. Turn ye ! turn ye 
 from your evil ways I for why will ye die f " 
 
^