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III.— The Wife. IV.— Husband and Wife. . V. — The Family Institution. VI.— Family Worship. VII.— Domestic Relationships. VIII. — Abodes and Habits. . IX. — Difficulties. .... X. — The Advantages of Family Religion. XL— Testimonies of Distinguished Men. . Page. 9 15 23 41 68 89 103 112 124 t INTRODUCTION. I liave been recjuested, by its author, to write an introduction to this Uttle book. Could I say anythin^^ to ^ave it currency, could I induce |)eo})le to buy the book and read on this most iin|>©rtiait subject, most cheer- fully would I use my influence to do so. Mr. Lanceley may well claim to have had the best opportunity for preparation in this department of thou^dit. Not exempt, in any way, from the lot of heavy labor, nor free from severe trial in personal suffering, lie has prepared a very large family for active life, and with unusual success. If " every event must have a cause," then, in the life and characters of those so prepared, are to be found the teachings, the discipline, and example of other years. Mr. Lanceley will tell you from whence he drew the knowledge he sought to communicate, and the inspiration for the work; the motives by which he was actuated, and the great responsibility which vi. Introduction. led liim to pursue his daily work of j*oveniitif,% teaching', ^^uiclin^, repressiiif^ and cncoura^^in;^', as the varied circumstances nii^dit lecjuire. Exposed as childliootl life is, in these times, to all the falsities in thou^dit, and impropriety of conduct, so rife in all circles of sftciety, to have no exception in this circle to mar the record of loving childhood an^'taded. If a man had a disHke to hJH wife, he could take and write her a bill of divorcement for the most trivial offence, and [)iit her away. Hut our Lord, as lawmak';r and judge, forbid it, and said that she should not be put away, except for one particular sin, — the sin of adultery. In this the sacredness of the divine institution of marria/^'c was dis- solved: the covenant bond was broktMi ; she was no more worthy of his confidence and protection: therefore, for that sin, and for that only, was he justified in putting her away. The teaching of Christ was, that what God had johied together, man was not to put asunder. s l • CIIAITER IV. tin: hushani) and wii-k in tiikik UNini) KliLATK^NSlIII', AND AS Hi:iKS ToCililinCR Ol- THE GRACE 01- LU E. The jii(li,'meiit of Ood pronoiiiiceH upon man, vvliile alone :\\u\ in a state of celibacy, was, that it was not a j^ood state. **An(l the Lord God said, It is not fi^ood that the man should be alone, I will make him an help meet for him." Ood made the woman for the man. He also made the woman out of the man, to intimate that the closest union and the most affectionate attachment should subsist in the matrimonial connection, so that the man should ever consider and treat the woman as a part of himself; and as no one ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and supports it, so should a man deal with his wife. And, on the other hand, the woman should consider that the man was not made for her, but that she was made for the man, and derived, under God, her being from him ; therefore, the wife should see that she reverence her husband (Eph. v., 33). This is flesh of my flesh, therefore shall a man leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife. 24 The Domestic Sanctuary. How happy must such a state be where God's institution is properly regarded — where the parties are married, as the Apostle expresses it, in the Lord. ' Dr. Macknight has some very good and homely remarks here : *' The husband is to love his wife : tne wife to obey and venerate her husband. Love and protection on the one hand, affectionate subjection and fidelity on the other. The husband should provide for his wife without encouraging profuseness ; watch over her conduct without giving her vexation ; keep her in subjection without mak- ing her a slave." The range of interests requiring their uni- ted counsel being compressed within a limited circle, makes their duties, though important, yet comparatively easy. The duties of the household, proper, such as house accommoda- tion and furniture, sickness, education, and the future v/elfare of the family, are included in a joint consideration. Church government the charity and wisdom of the Apostle does not permit her to interfere in, but to keep silent, and if she would learn anything, let her ask her husband at home, (ist Cor. xiv., 34-35 ; ist Tim. ii., 9-14). Her individual taste in personal adornment is not to be absorbed in external ornaments and costly apparel, that Husband and Wife. 25 can be put on or taken off just as vanity and the influence of circumstances shall dictate ; but with modest apparel, with shaniefaccdness and sobriety, as women professing godliness • yea, that hidden man of the heart, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sifi^ht of God of f^reat price,. **For after this manner in the old time the holy women, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands ; even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord." (ist Peter, iii., 1-6.) All people in the olden tiiae, although their names may be allowed a place in inspired his- tory, were not given as examples for imitation, but, in many cases, as ensamples for our warn- ing and admonition, for our correction and instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect — thoroughly furnished unto every good work. The sacred Scriptures present us with some glaring inconsistencies, where domestic affection and honor have been shamefully^out- raged, and social honesty and forbearance prostrated, either by the disguised treachery of one towards the other, or by the united agreement of both, to perpetrate a wron; 'g- 26 The Domestic Sanctuary. ISAAC AND REBEKAH. I One of the greatest and most fruitful sources of evil in a family is parental partiality, which prevailed to an alarming extent in the families of " the chief of the fathers." See it with its train of painful consequences in the history of Jacob and Joseph, and the coat of many colors. When his brethren saw that the father loved him more than all the rest, they hated him and could not speak peaceably unto him. See it, also, in Laban and his family; but more espe- cially with Isaac and Rebekah towards Jacob and Esau. It is very significantly stated that Isaac loved Esau and Rebekah loved Jacob. This absorbing favoritism scattered the bloom and marred the fruit of domestic harmony, by mutual bickerings, jealousies and feuds. See the old man bending beneath the weight of six score years and the many infirmities of a very checkered life, and his eyesight failing him. He is anxious to make arrangements for his household before he departs. In this he is to be commended. Many a family would have saved heavy expenses and painful disappoint- ment had a proper disposal of its affairs been made by its head before death had made it impossible. Husband and Wife. 27 The manner in which Isaac went through this transaction is questionable, and not in harmony with religion and good judgment, but indicates a desire on his part to secure a great advantage for his favorite son at the expense of the other, and an attempt to thwart the pur- pose of God. Why so much apparent hurry and secrecy ? There is no account of any attempt at seeking divine guidance. Family counsel is avoided. Rebekah, the wife of his youth and old age, is not consulted. What had savory venison to do with a solemn tes- tamentary transaction? No wonder that the whole plan miscarried, and that the old man "trembled exceedingly." It is affecting to find a wife and a mother, of the age and experience of Rebekah, taking advantage of her husband's age and infirmity to deceive him. The root of her treachery was ambition ; but it wa^i a woman's ambition, and therefore not for herself, but for another. We tremble as we behold the son led on by the mother, with the name of God upon his lips, deceiving his father, whose eyes were so dim that he could not see. Although it was the declared purpose of God that the rights of the firstborn should be with Jacob, it was never intended that they should be obtained in so reprehensible a way. A Uttle patience 28 The Domestic Sanctuary. and trust in providence, Jind in dne time the tninsfcr would be coniploted, and that upon a divine phin and with the divine blessing. We might profitably ponder the weighty lessons taught in this family plotting and connter- plotting. It is a great evil and glaringly in- consistent with parental duty to divide their family into pets and favorites, and the con- trary. In this way we never can succeed in establishing domestic discipline. After this Jacob was compelled to flee from home, under the guilt of selfishness and falsehood. Esau also departs, with a fixed purpose that his revenge should eventually be satisfied in taking away the life of his brother. What a series of vexations, disappointments and calamities, with a constant stream of treacherous overbearing, followed him to the end? What son could look with respect upon a guilty mother after this? Would not her extravagant love change into shame and reproach, and result in arousing theunkindest antipathies. We are also reminded by the circumstances of the vanity of trusting in an arm of flesh. " Upon me be thy curse, my son," said the doting, self-deceived mother, in the moment of exaggerated passion for her son's prosperity and renown. But is one sinner a refuge for another? Is it not daring presumption to assume the responsibility of so desperate a deed? Her sclieme to ^^et hiin away from threatened danger led liiin to the very place where her crafty brother deals exactly with hiiTi as she had counselled Jacob to do with Esau. She flattered herself that his absence would only be for a short time, but it lasted throughout her life, and she saw him no more. A scrupulous observance of the divine will makes the wisest parents, the most obedient children, the kindest neighbors, the most loyal subjects, and the truest patriots. AHAB AND JEZEBEL. There is in the twenty-first chapter of the first book of Kings, 1-25, an account of a royal pair, whose features of character it may be profitable to consider. Ahab, as a successful warrior, had recently returned from Aphek, elated with two decisive victories over Ben- haded and thirty-two confederate kings. He had just been reprimanded by a prophet in God's name for misusing an advantage he had won in the battle field. He was "heavy and displeased " with God, the prophet, and with everyone but himself. While in that unhappy mood, walking one day in the palace ground, he cast an evil eye upon the vineyard of his neigh- bor. He did not need it for a vineyard, but he thought it would make a kitchen garden ; but^ 30 The Domestic Sanctuary. I whether or no, he did not like his pounds over- looked by an insipiificant nei^dibor. He offered to buy the vineyard of Naboth at a price, or change it for another. But the law of Israel did not allow iheni to sell the inheritance of their fathers. Naboth's great respect for the law would uot allow him to accept the offer, so he told Ahab he could not sell. With this he was indignant and greatly annoyed : to think that kings and governors by the score should submit themselves and bow down to him, yet this superstitious and religious enthusiast, and ungenerous neighbor, refuses to oblige him. He resents the refusal as a gross affront. He goes into his house ''heavy and displeared," refuses to eat bread, goes to bed, turning his face to the wall, or sulks, and w'on't speak to any one. There was a time when man was alone, but God had compassion on him and provided a helpmeet for him. If such help was then necessary and congenial, how much more so now, when his intellect is broken down and his mental faculties prostrate and confused. In times of affliction and trial, to have a true sympathizer and wise counsellor by your side, in whom you have unlimited confidence, is a great boon. How commanding, for good or for evil, is the influence of a wife ? If she possess her unquestionable right, the undivided i 1^ Husband and Wife. 31 i i. ■ id I . love and affection of her husband, it must be inevitably great, and .it may be capable of indefinite expansion. If the husband be a iinin of turbulent spirit, her quietness may calm him. If covetous, she may teach him the pleasure and blessedness of giving. If extravagant, she may restrain him. If malignant, her love and affection may subdue it. If apt to misunder- stand a neighbor, she may soften the angles of dispute and preserve the harmony unbroken. Verily, he that findeth such a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. On the other hand, if a wife is a power for good, she is also a great power for evil. The poet has observed that *' The true, successful way to man is woman." Of all the agencies which Satan has employed since the world began, few have been so dexterously successful as wilful, intriguing woman. Adam, but for Eve, never might have eaten of the forbidden fruit. But for Rebekah, as we have shown, Jacob would not have deceived his dying father. If Samson had not been so fascinated as to have divulged the secret gift of God to a deceitful woman, he would not have fallen into the hands of the Philistines. Had it not been for Job's unwaver- ing confidence in the divine integrity, the hasty 32 The Domestic Sanctuary. profanity of Iiis wife might h.ive involved them in remediless ruin, by becoming voluntary vic-^ tims of the divine displeasure. Herod would not have beheaded John the baptist had it not been for Herod ias, his wife ; and, had not Jezebel stirred up Ahab, he would not have dared to countenance the horrible deeds that followed. She went into his chamber, while he lay on his bed in his sulky mood, and taunted him with cowardice, and suggested a plausible plot. But for this Ahab might have got relief through his tears, ** and washed his grief away." But Jezebel, his wife, came to him and said, ** Why is thine heart so sad that thou eatest no bread ?" Ahab, like a soft weeping school boy that has lost his marbles, replies, '* Because I spoke unto Naboth, the Jezreelite, and said unto him, * Give me the vineyard for money, or else, if it please thee, I will give thee another vineyard for it ; ' and he answered, ' I will not give thee my vineyard.'" He overstates the case, so as to clear himself and criminate Naboth. Jezebel, instead of allaying his rage by calm, dignified persuasion, only aggravates his feelings by adding fuel to the flame. She despises the cowardliness of her husband, and is indignant he should so demean himself. '* Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel ? " she exclaimed ; *' art thou, or Naboth, King ? Arise and eat ! Husbnnd and Wife. 33 broad, ntul Ic^t tliino lic.nt \)v niorrv ; T will ^'et tlicc tile viiunard." To effect lier purpose, she wrote letters in Allah's name to the elders and nobles of Je/rcel, saying' that Naboth was a dan/:,'erous nei^dd)or, and that the peace of the city was in dan/^'er in consc(|iicnce of his crimes, and rc(]nirin^' them to condemn and execute without mercy. These instructions found ready response from her friends, and Naboth was executed. The news of his death soon reached Jezebel, and she, exulting: in the success of her diabolical project, approaches the bedside of her dejected husband, and says, "Arise now and take possession of the vineyard, for Naboth is not alive, but dead." Delighted with the information, he does not linger, but goes at once to take possession of the coveted treasure. It is likely they destroyed the whole of his family ; and then the King seized on his grounds as confiscated, or without any heir-at-law. (2nd Kings, ix., 26.) As he moves along its sacred walks, not pensive and sad that so ques- tionable an inheritance should have been got at so great a sacrifice, but flushed with delight that the obstinate enthusiast has been put out of the way, he is suddenly disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps. He sees a man clothed in hairy garments, with a leathern girdle about his loins. Ahabhasmet with him 34 The Domestic Sanctuary. before, and smarted under his cutting' reproofs, which lie has not for^'ot. " Hast thou found me, O mine enetny?" he an^^nily ex(daime{s, ni)t in fij,'iireN on a. diui. VV'c hhoiild count time by hrnrt throbit Wk mnnt liven Who thinkH mout, fccl»t the noblent, uctH the be»t. DAVID AND HIS IfOUSKIlOl.D. Davi'l was the most illustrious and heroic of the ancient worthies in the administration of ri^diteous |^a)vei"nment in his family, himself taking' the lead. Hence he says: "I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. * * I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house; he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight: but the faithful they shall dwell with me." (Psalms ci.) His affection for the welfare of his family was strong and unyielding. Few men ever rose higher or shone brighter than David. An inspired historian says that his fame went out into all lands, and the Lord brcaight the fear of him upon all nations. He was pros- perous and honorable in thebusinessof life, bold and daring in the defence of his flocks, successful and triumphant as a warrior. As a sovereign, how just his judgment, how prosperous and extended his reign. As a prophet, what a dis- tinct seer into the ages to come, for God had 36 The Domestic Sanctuary. swum willi ;iii oath to liiiii, that of his loins, accordiiif^ to the tlesh, he vvoiihl raise up Christ to sit upr)!i Iiis throne. His moral and rrh;,'ioiis character was next to hhinu'Kss: for"I)avi(l (\'u\ that which was ri^dit in tlic e> es of the lord, and turned not aside from anything' which he had coinman(h>d him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite." (ist Kinpfs xv., 5). That in this instance he |;'rievously di'parted from (jod no one would attemj)t to deny, hut was not liis repentance the deepest and most exemplary we have on record? When a man has fallen, and makes the speediest return to God hy con- fession .'ifid repentance, he proves thaf: that trans^^ression is no part of his character. He does not respect it. He loathes and abhors it. Many are ^^neat in public life, and dazzle the multitude by the number and ma^Miitude of their worldly achievements, but whose pri- vate character and donn^stic virtues are held in strict reserve. Abroad they appear studious to please and excel; at home their conduct presents a melancholy reverse. Hut I^avid appeared as solicitous to please God at home as abroad; and, whether viewed in the camp, the senate, the sanctuary, or the household, we see the same devotional disposition pervading all his movements. I: Husband and Wifa, J7 II •.Ten I Nd Till' AKK. Tin: sixth cliaptcr of iinl Siiinucl contains «i record of mobt l'\( ilin^' tnmsjictions, annl(Ml of Prince Albert, sotnetitnes called "Albort tlio (iood," that he spent several hours a tlay in trainin;^' the royal children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and in the supervision of their ^.^cneral education ; that he examined every book put into their hands; that, while they had many teachers, he himself was their chief instructor, and that in all this he was ably supported by the yueen. The prince directed that a marble monu- ment be executed of Edward VI. and placed on the stair-case of Windsor Castle. The young and pious monarch is represented point- ing with his sceptre to this text on the page of an open Bible: *' Josiah was eight years old when he began to reign, and he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord." This was intended as a lesson to the Prince of Wales and the other royal children. TRAINING. Successfully to bring up a family in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, is among the greatest achievements of this life of warfare. Where a family is large there generally exists considerable diversity of constitutional temper- ament, where modified rule and authority is required to secure respectful and effective management. To do this impartially, requires f 50 Tht Domettic Sinctuar/, a j^ood sliare of practical ac(|iiaintance with Imnian nature, a vvelI-l)alaiicfHl tiiiiid, and steady attention to tli(> devt^lopnient of the human heart. Diversity of characteristics existed lar^'ely in Jacob's family, and accordin/^' to whicli his piopliecy portrayed their future char- acter and destiny. (Gen. xlix., 1-27.) Jacol), as prince and a f;».th('r in the patriarchal churcli, was not very successful in his family training,'. During' the early part of his married life he was away from home en^'aj^^ed with his jeilous and unscrupulous father-in-law. His family, in this respect, suffered as a consequence. It should be the object of all persons havinj:^ rising families to provide homes of their own, where no stranger intermeddleth therewith; otherwise parental authority may be very much impaired, and what otherwise might be good and effective training, seriously imperilled. But no matter how wise the government, or how judiciously administered, some persons have no respect for it ; others heedlessly dis- regard it, while others violently object to its authority and rule. Children love dominion : this is their ear- liest and most predominant propensity. Their will is their only law, and, long before they can speak, they grow peevish, fretful, sullen and out of humor, if their wills happen to be crossed. I Tht family ImtUutlon. 5* I i I will, or I \v()n*t,ate reiterated it) every nursery, and found in every child's vocabulary, l^ut children must he j^overned; their wills must be subdued; they must be made to do what, in many instances, tliey dislike. Subordina- tion, and not sovcreij^'iity, is their province. Where children can be ^(overned by love alone, ciiastisemcnt must be forborne ; but this can rarely be done. A parent must be reverenced; feared as well as loved. There are children so intolerably insolent and obstinately perverse, thrit nothinpf short of correction will concjuer them. They must be p nished to be governed. Hut punishment should be judiciously inflicted: moral deliiupicncies, and not accidental errors, should be the grounds of punishment. To chastise a child indiscriminately for every mis- take, partakes more of savage barbarity than salutary discipline, and totally defeats the de- sign which chastisement should have in view. The precepts and teachings of the sacred scriptures should be well studied and observed, in order to the judicious correction of child- ren. "He that spareth the rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." (Prov. xiii., 24.) " Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." (Prov. xix., 18.) " We have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, I' ■ )i 52 The Domestic Sanctuary. and we gnve them reverence." (Heb. xii., 9.) "A prudent and kind mother," says Locke, ** of my acquaintance, was forced to whip her httle daughter, at her first coming home from nurse, eight times successively the same morn- ing, before she could master her stubbornness. If she had left off sooner, and stopped at the seventh whipping, she had spoiled the child for ever, and by her unprevailing blows only confirmed her refractoriness, very hard after- wards to be cured ; but wisely persisting till she had bent her mind and suppled her will, — the only end of correction and chastisement, — she established her authority thoroughly on the very first occasion, and had ever after a very ready compliance and obedience in all things from her daughter ; for as this was the first time, so I thmk it was the last, she ever struck her." GOVERNMENT. Another very essential method is the exer- cise of good government. All government originated in patriarchal or parental authority, and families contain the rudiments of empires; and as the happiness of a nation may be pro- moted by the wisdom and justice of the legis- lature, so the welfare of a family depends most essentially on its government. He who is at the head of a family is bound to govern The Family Institution. 53 it. How (iifficult the undertal'ii^^ to shun the opposite extreiiiCs of remissness and severity ; what wisdom, and patience, and firmness are required to govern a family in the fear of the Lord. The government of a householder over his domestics should be exercised for moral and religious purposes. By virtue of his authority, hi should restrain them from all questionable society and places of entertainment. Young people who are suflered to deck themselves out in all the finery of" fashion, to have a wide range of acquaintance, to mingle with promiscuous society, and frequent places of public amuse- ment, can scarcely fail to become proficients in the school of iniquity. And it should not be forgotten, that what are technically termed innocent amusements, are often pregnant with moral results of tremendous import. Dinah went out to see the daughters of the land. (Gen. xxxiv., i.) Her personal attractions won the heart of Shecham, and led to an illicit con- nection ; then came a deep, designing and dis- sembled act of villany, and, lastly, a general and horrid massacre of all the male inhabitants of the city. The wicked and scandalous conduct of Eli's sons was reputed to their father's criminal in- dulgence: '' His sons made themselves vile, and ^fi ''I ' I I 1 I 54 The Domestic Sanctuary. he restrained them not/ Restraint was prac- ticable, and he who allows wicked indulgences to exist when he has the power of preventing them, becomes partaker of other men's sins, and will be dealt with accordingly. Family government does not end with restraint : duty requires that the domestics sanctify the Sab- bath, frequent the house of God, engage in the act of public worship, and practise the virtues of justice, temperance and sobriety. The value of home influence for both worlds can hardly be over-rated. Like the Sabbath, wedded life is a precious relic and reminiscence of Eden, where it appears in any near resem- blance to its true ideal. No other institution of human society is fraught with equal blessing. The family is the primal type of social organ- ization, and that which alone can claim to be based on divine authority. Any violation of its sanctities or weakening of its ties must mili- tate against the welfare of individuals and of nations ; any strengthening of its hold upon the human heart, and realization of its true spirit and design, will greatly tend to promote the happiness and elevation of mankind. Three things, at least, are necessary to the building up the character of a well regulated family, Authority, Affection, Religion. Without Authority there will be neither peace nor order ; The Family Institution. 55 without Affection there will he no tenderne«;pU' on eartli. Onesimus, w hile in Rome, without a home or a friend, his b'ttle patrimony all ;^^one,— be^aii to l>e in want, and, like the prodii^^il in a far country, to reflect on his condition. The hired house of the apostle with free access was open to him. In the extri'niits' ot destitution, he j^oes and makes known to him an count of his life and adventures. A review ^o searching, and a confession so penetential, was evidently from a ;4'odly sorrow which worketh repentance unto salvation. The spirit of grace, though slighted and grieved, had not gi\en him up and departed, but was taking advantage of his altered circumstances in effecting a change in his life and character. Being renewed in the spirit of his mind, the apostle regards him as his spiritual child and brother beloved. Though converted and made a new creature, vet his circumstances were verv critical and delicate. He had involved himself in moral and legal difficulties in running away, but was now willing to return and make good, if pos- sible, for the trespass he had committed, if Philemon was willing to receive him and accept Domestic Relati ships. 77 l»is conditions. To effect a reconcilia lion, and obtain foi liini a tavoiablc reception with his master, the apostle wrote the epihilc to I'hde- nion, and sent it .>> him, thus makini^' hi:^ return a subject of special pleadings at the s.ime time niakin^^ himself responsible not t)nly tV)r his past indebtedness, but for his hituie conduct. The a[)Ostle's estimate of a reli^^ious servant is ^reat. They are the source of unrestiicted confidence and general prosperity. The heathen master of Joseph in Ej^^ypt, saw that the Lord was with Joseph, and that the Lord made all lh;it he did to prosper in his hand. (C}en. xxxix., ^].) Moses also adds, that the Lord blessed the Kj^^yptian's Infuse for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the Lord was upon all that he had in the house, and in the Held, (ireat temporal profits have oftcu re- sulted to families from the prudence and in- tegrity of intelligent and pious servants, and the spiritual profit arising from the examples, prayers and conversation of such persons has, in many cases, been strikingly manifested. Whole families, in some instances, have been brought out of darkness into light by the instrumentality of a pious servant. Many such f a.ses are recorded in the Wesleyan magazines. Our Lord appeared in the form of a servant. The apostle directs that '* Servants adorn the A n ^■'! ) I 78 The Dom$8tlo Sanctuary. cloctriiKi of (i«)(l oiir S.ivioni in all tlilnj^'s.'* "StM vaiits, obey in all tliinL's voin masters acroidin;^ to tin- llcsli : not with eye-sfi vice, as niLMi-pleascrs, hut in sinj^leness of lieait, fearing dod: and wliatsoever ye do, do it hoartily, as to the Lord, and not nnto men ; kn()\vin)4 that of tlu; I ,ord yv shall it.'ccive the reward of tin: inhci it.mce : for ye serve the Lord Clnist." (("ol. iii., 22.) Thus it is tliat (. hristianity invests ev(Mi the ordinary duties of hfe witli a character of holiness. They are to be dischar^'ed with puiity of affcc tii")!! and joy- ous simplicity of |)inpose; and ilw Lord Jesus dci^^ns to acc(!pt them as acts of direct obedi- ence to His will, which He will reward with everlastini: treasure in heaven. i I'lCMAi K si:rvants. In this relationship the scriptures do not present so extensive a supply of diversified circumstances for illustration as in the relation of masters and men-servants. We must there- fore seek our information in the common walks of everyday Hfe. It is a very important consideration to a family when they jud^^e it necessary to take a stran^^er every now and then into their circle. Such persons may be worthy of confidence, if truthful and honest; they may contribute IhmHtIc Relatlonshlpt. 79 nuich to t\w comfort and welfare of the house, if ordt-rlv and rcoiKuniral : thev mav make a happv liome for theinstlves and all con- ceiiied, if |)i(>us, intcllij^'cnt and icspertfid: but if these essential (pialities tn peare and har- mony are lackini;, what a hcdiam ol confusion and uproar must, occasionally, unavoidably occiii ! What is there more de^^nadin^' to the chaiaeter of a servant than wiirul, deliberate lyinj^ ? and what more irritating to the ridei of the house than no roiitidenrc! in wliat the ser- vant s«iys ? How perplexing' it must be to a mistress, if, wIhmi out, any duties she wishes at- tended to dm in^' her absence are ne;^dected, and disorder and loss the consecpience ? How far it may be prudential to refer to the habits of such may be (pic^stionable : by doinj^^ so we may offend aj^'ainst the ^^cneration of those who are stru^'^lin;^ hard to pursue ;\ more honorable course throuj;h life. The unfortimate may have been objects more to be pitied than blamed. Many of them, no doubt, never knew what the rules and recpiirtunents of home meant, nor what the comforts of home were like, until they left their homeless home under the cravin^^^s of appetite and the intbience of stern authority, and found themselves beneath the fostering care of those well reported for their ^ood works, " Who have brought up children, lodged I 80 The Domestic Sanctuary. ! if h I strai:t was Abra- ham's brother's son. His father was dea('. and Abraham had been his honorable guardian. Under the wisdom and influence of Aliahaiii, Lot became rich: indeed, the flocks and heids of both had f^'reatly inuitiplied, so that the land was unable to bear them. The right of pas- turage had become a subject of painful dispute between the herdmen of the two masters. Abraham is the Hrst to introduce the matter, and en«leavor to tjuell the rising storm. He sought out Lot. and aftci stating the wln^ie case, said, *' Let there be no strife between me and thee, between mv herdmen and thv herdmen, for we be brethroi.'' Surely that was sufficient to lead to any sacrifice of feeling, to tlje sinking of any preferences and rights. Rather than the bond of peace should be broken, Abraham wcndd suffer. The simple fart that they were family relatives ought to put an end to all strife. Abraham does not consult with his servants with a view strengthening his own cause. He had already f li IMAGE EVALUATION TiST TARGET (MT-3) % c**^ <^^^ ' V L< ■^# K. 1.0 I.I ■ 30 ■^* Hi u ■■ 2.2 |40 1.25 III 1.4 1.6 ^_ 6" ► p 6% /2 ^^ i?;-! Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTES.N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 S m; "^ V iV \\ LV O"^ ' i)2 "the Oomestic Sanctuary. the stron^^cr chiim, either to remain where he was, or to choose the direction in which lie woiilcl move. He mi^dit have said to Lot, *' The land is too straii^ht for us, we must part. I have looked around nnd decided to go east- ward, and you must go westward. I have cared for you, and assisted you until it is not convenient to do so any more. You must find a new home." Would there have been a single stain upon his reputation of impropriety or un- kindness? In this he was the older, the more powerful, yet such vv'as the greatness of his character, that he submitted himself to Lot, say- ing, " Is not the whole land before thee? .^ ^ ^ If thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right, or if thou depart to the right, then I will go to the left." What true greatness ! Not that there is either poetry or grandeur about it, but an ordinary circumstance, an everyday occurrence ; therefore it seems all the more effective to bring out the real character of the men. And this is the true way to test men. Ordinary men may be wrought up to acts of daring heroism, but only great and good men act nobly in the ordinary affairs of everyday life. While these two men were discussing the prospects of their future lot, the neighboring landscape presented two widely different scenes. < On one side was a rich and fertile land, ^reen pastures, runnini;' brooks, never failin;^^ sprinji^s of water, and the Jordan rollinj^^ in the distance. The inspired writer appears to have been under a special inspiration when describinj^^ it. It was like the " (rarden of the Lord," it was well watered every wliere. It was like the land of Egypt. And on the other side was compara- tive barreness. It was no trifle to a man whose substance consisted mainly in flocks and herds to give up this rich pasture land to another. But Abraham hesitated not. There were other things of graver importance which claimed his attention besides flocks and herds, so he let Lot have the preference. But what a contrast to this is recorded of the conduct of Lot. How we might have acted under similar circumstances we cannot tell. Perhaps we might have been as weak and base as he was. Abraham possessed those qualities which make the christian gentleman, while Lot betrayed a lack of them. Lot was under great obligations to Abraham. Many years before this, his father died, and Abraham had acted nobly a father's part; had given him powerful protection, good example, wise advice, and beneath his shadow Lot had grown to his present estate. Every young man owes a debt of respect and gratitude to a father who 94 the Domestic Banctua^y. < nobly fills a father's place ; but if his father be taken away, and some one ^^enerously stands in the father's place, the respectful f^ratitude he owes to his benefactor is even greater than that he owed to his father. This was the position of Lot. Had his heart been right, and his actions ruled by noble and generous principles, he would have de- clined his uncle's offer with a firm hand, and said, "No! I am greatly indebted to you. I am so much younger. Your claim is in every wa} much stronger, and I have such love and esteem for you that I shall esteem it a privi- lege to come in second to you." But, alas ! Lot did not rise to this. The prize was too great for him to lose, and, in his eagerness to grasp it, he sacrificed those nobler feelings that link us to heaven. There is nothing so much betrays an ignoble character as the greedy seizure of favors at the expense of others, especially where their generosity places them within our reach. When Lot looked out upon the beautiful scene spread before him, he saw a goodly for- tune. In those well-watered pastures his flocks would multiply exceedingly, and he might be- come one of the wealthiest men of the day. There he would have " good society." He might be in such a position as to be in social Abodes and Habits. 95 intercourse with the rich, and even be courted by the kinjj^s of the cities around him. He might be able to settle his daughters in good families, and make suitable provision for future glory and greatness. He might yet become the father of a great people, leaving his good- natured uncle far behind. But there was another side : "The men of Sodom were wicked, and sinners before the Lord exceedingly." To be tempted, ensnared and corrupted by these men was the risk he had to run ; to be vexed and ruined by them, in character, in family, in fortune, was the fear- ful price he had to pay. But the desire of wealth, rank and greatness was so pressing that he was determined to run the risk. His subsequent history is so appalling that it seems to be written with a pen dipped in tears, and even at this distance of time it lifts up such a warning voice, and sends such a wave of woe across the ages, as should make every covetous feeling within us sink and die. But, alas! how Httle men heed. Even now, they are paying the same dreadful price for the same empty baubles ; and '' large profits " and "good settlements," with their associated attractions, lead men down to the Sodoms and Gomor- rahs of modern society, where they become bewildered and lost in their own confusions. ^1 xl 96 The Domestic Sanctuary. It would he a very sad, but iustructive study, to follow out tlie after-lives of some of these unhappy meu. These two uien were not only brethren, but they were professors of reli^Mon, and held distin^niished positions in the ehurch of God : AbraliPin as the " F'riend of (iod." and Lot as '' Ri^diteous." Circumstances brin^^ out .the latent principles of individual character. Many people pass throu^ni life with character undeveloped, because circumstances suitable to the purpose have been absent. These two men acted out what was in them. Each man's conduct was consister.t with him- self. Lot has n9w made his choice, and decided to reside in Sodom ; so the household and flocks of these two ^reat men are divided. Abraham and Lot take leave of each other, not knowing when or where they may meet again. Abraham might deliver an affectionate, warning admoni- tion to the man who would be rich ; and Lot mi^ht have some secret misgivings as to the ultimate results of his new enterprise. For years after he is settled in his new home, all goes on well, — increasing flocks, accumula- ting wealth, rich acquaintances, and wealthy alliances for his daughters, until his mountain appears strong and immovable. We might watch the movements of Lot as he entered his Abodes and Habits. 97 new possessions anrl formed his associations and friends, and wonder what influence thev would liave upon his rcii^^nous Hfe and character. He nii/j:ht suppose and fondly hope, that when he went to live amon^; these wicked men, that his pious example, prayers and admonitions, would work some j^^ood. Even supposing a desire to do them i^ooqI had been his chief motive in ^oin/^ to live amon^ them, he would have needed more strength of character and religion than he possessed. ISuch risks are dangerous even to the most godly and well established. But lot's motives were worldlv, and his character not eminently godly. Day by day his righteous soul was vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked. At first he might have shuddered, then submitted quietly, and at length, with a kind of pious sentiment- alism, soothed his grief by the vague idea that he was making his fortune and accumulating wealth. Then, as to his family: true, he had been successful in accomplishing the marriage of some of his daughters to the men of the place. He probably hoped that both would be im- proved, and both husbands and wives become blest and honorable; but never was more fatal mistake. Instead cf raising their husbands to their level, they sank towards the level of Mi their Inishaiids. W'luit else could he expected ? One feehle woman matched a^'ainst her hus- hand, and his relatives and connections, im- mersed in the worldliness and sin of these wicked cities. Had she heen disposed to keep up the unecpial contest, she would have needed somethinj^' in addition to natural force of char- acter, developed hy the most careful training:;, and stren^^thened and fortified by divine ^Tace. So far as we can feather, the dau^diters of Lot had none of these thin/^^s, and the probability is, that, after a few feeble and unsuccessful attempts to improve the moral atmosphere of their new homes, they gave up the struggle, and sank into the abounding degradation by which they were surrounded. From the chronology of our Bibles we have reason to suppose that Lot resided in Sodom about twenty years before the reckoning time came. On a certain evening, three strange look- ing men came to vSodom. They had been on a friendly visit to Abraham and had enlarged his borders. They had also apprised Abraham of the doomed cities, for the preservation of which he pleaded; and although he did not succeed in averting the wrath of the Almighty from their overthrow^ yet he prevailed in having Lot and a part of his family miraculously delivered. Indeed, they might all have been i Abodes and Habits. ()( 'J*J saved had it not hvvu for tlioir roiitirnied obsti- iiju v and unht-Iiet". It was with j^reat difficulty thiit they suc(L'('(l(.'(l in ^\'ttinj4 the few out (liihhiMi over hftccn veins of d^c. Of these, HH,\ w^'ie hopefully pious, 7<^ were united in church ftiUowship, ()i were in the fninistry, and 17 were dissipated, and only a few of these hecaine so while living at home with their parents. In 1 1 of these families there are 12.J children, and all hut seven pious. When and where can such results he fcnnid in the families of the unj^txlly ? indeed, it is the great law hy which virtue and reli/^ion are spread aiul perpetuated in tlie world, that (iod is faithful to His covenant, and that He blesses tile efforts of His people in endeavoring to train up generations for His service. Our merciful Creator has not intended man for a low or ignoble being, but has formed him for honor and usefulness. We cannot be made great by others; by our ancestry, or our patri- mony, by beauty of form or loftiness of stature ; nor does rank, however exalted or da/zling, impart greatness to man. Mental imbecility and meanness of character may roam in a palace and strut in magnificent titles and robes. Wealth does not yield greatness. The owner of riches has frequently been their slave, num- bered among narrow and bitter spirits, boast- ii8 Thb domestic Sanctuary. ing of treasures he had not the power to use, nor quahfication to enjoy. True greatness is greatn3ss in the sight of the Lord, and this is found only in devotedness to Him. When religion is supreme in the heart, her dominion pervades all the faculties of the entire man. That part of man's nature which recognizes law and duty is the noblest and most impor- tant, and when rightly educated and in the as- cendant, his intellectual and emotional powers are enlarged and tranquilized ; the love of Christ — the most expansive of all affections; — the glory of God — the sublimest of all contem- plations, — become the principles of action, and tend to raise the character to that grandeur of which these elements form the basis and the inspiration. Righteousness is true greatness, goodness is power, and wisdom is better than strength. It is said of the Baptist that one great prepara- tion for his extraordinary eminence and useful- ness, was special abstemiousness and self-con- trol — **He shall drink neither wine nor strong drink." Self-mastery lies at the basis of noble distinction. A preacher of repentance and self- government, he himself was a pattern of religi- ous mortification and hardihood. With what severity, with what exalted sanctity, he stood before Herod, reproving him for all the evils The Advantages of Family Religion. 119 which he did. What is the distinction of the warrior to the magnanimity of virtue, and a soul inspired by the in-dwelHng of the Holy Ghost? To what a littleness i.^an dwindles, and how paltry his pursuits and conquests, in the exclusion of religion, and of tht moment- ous things of eternity. How little, in the last day, will be the names of an Alexander, a Caesar, a Napoleon, and a Nelson, compared to a Coke, a Carey, a Williams and a Hunt, and many others, now unknown to fame. Think of Paul, probably the greatest human name in all nistory. By his writings he is to-day influencing more minds and hearts than any other man that ever lived. See those three young men, the Baptist, the apostle Paul, and Timothy, all descendants of a pious ances- try; early taught the holy scriptures with all the sacredness and sanctities of revealed reli- gion: distinguished men, shall we say repre- sentative men, of New Testament faith and practice, the epitomes of whose noble lives are contained in a few significant words which have no parallel, except in the book of life. Of John it is said that "he was a burning and shining light ;" of Timothy, "I have no man likeminded ;" of Paul, '* I have fought a good fight, I have kept the faith." The influence of a holy example is salutary in all the stations of fi 120 The Domestic Sanctuary. 11 public and private life. Such fi^oodness is powerful everywhere — in the circles of royalty, in the councils of war, in the treaties of peace, in discernment and warning, in the world and in the church, at home and abroad. What a beautiful description of patriarchal piety and parental affection and esteem we have in the character and conduct of Joseph, as revealed upon the several occasions of his brethern's visits to him in Egypt. When Joseph was sold into Egypt, mature age had fixed the stature and formed the features of his brethern, so that the lapse of years had effected no great change in their character and appear- ance than what he had always seen them ; whilst he himself had grown out of the stripling into the man, and from a shepherd's boy was become the ruler of a kingdom. When they, therefore, appeared before him, he knew them, but they knew him not. He listened to their artless account of home with suppressed emotion, while they told of the family and circumstances in which his own name and that of his father's were so deeply involved. (Gen. xlii., 24 ; xliii., 7.) " Is your father yet alive, and have you another brother?" They went down a second time and again the question was, "Is your father well, the old man of whom ye spake, is he yet alive ? " More he could not venture to The Advantages of Family Religion. 121 ask, while he was yet in his (lis;:]^uise. Rut at the pleading of J udah on the behalf of licnja- min, Joseph's firmness foorsook him, so that he could not refrain himself any longer, and, causing; every man to go out, he made him- self known to his brethren. Then, in the height of the paroxysm which came upon him (for he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard), still his first words, uttered from the fullness of his heart, were : "Doth my father yet live?" He now bids them hasten and bring the old man down, bearing to him tokens of his love and tidings of his glory. On his arrival in the country he goes to meet him. (Gen. xlvi., 29.) He presents himself unto him, and falls and weeps on his neck ; he provides for him and his household out of the fat of the land ; he sets him before Pharoah. By-and-byhe hears that he is sick and hastens to visit him, he receives his blessing, watches his deathbed, embalms his body, mourns for him three- score and ten days, and then carries him into Canaan to bury him, taking with him, as an escort to do him honor, all the elders. of Israel and all the servants of Pharoah, and all his house and the house of his brethren, chariots and horsemen — a very great company. Many of our young people are fond of novel- reading. Let such take and read ten or twelve (ill 122 The Domeotic Sanctuary. of the last chapters of Genesis ; those contain- in^^ the history of Joseph, where the romance of real life is portrayed in events and circum- stances so artless and simple, so fascinating and pure, so rich and so elevating, as to have no comparison in the realm of novel literature. Although the programme of events of life may be beyond the power of imitation, yet, when read, such is the divine sublimity inspiring the whole, that the entire story reads as if intensi- fied with thoughts that breathe and words that burn. '' He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High, shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty ; because thou hast made the Lord, even the Most High, thy habitation. There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. Because he hath set his love upon Me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath ^:nown My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him ; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him, and show him My salvation." These cheering declarations evidently se- cure to us God's gracious benedictions, as the result of our domestic acknowledgment to His government and will. The Advantages of Family Religion. 1^3 The peace and welfare of the domestic cir- cle will, too, be greatly promoted. The man that takes deU^ht in the stated inculcation of God's holy word, and the habit of reli^dous worship in his family, must necessarily be at- tended with results in the hi;,diest de;^ree blissful and satisfactory ; his leaf shall not wither, his reli^'ious life shall not become stale and uninfluential, and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. Corpict ideas of God and of re- ligious truth will be obtained, by which the younger members of the family may be admon- ished and directed ; a powerful check will be unceasingly presented against the commission of much that is evil : whilst just in proportion as the influences of religion are diffused throughout the social circle, so will all that creates disquietude and discord die away ; envy and strife will cease, and our fjimilies, yielding to the force of heavenly truth, will pleasingly attest: Sweet peace she brings wherever she arrives, She builds our comfort as she forms our lives. Lays the rough path of peevish nature even. And opens in the breast a little heaven. Ilf CHAPTER XL IMPORTANT TICSTIMONIKS OF DISTINGUISHED MKN WHO HAVE (ilVEN ATTENTION TO THE SUBJECT. The late Rev. John An^^cl James remarks: *' There is, in some households, no family gov- ernment, no order, no^subordination. The children are kept under no restraint, but are allowed to do what they like ; their faults are unnoticed and unpunished, and their tempers are allowed to grow wild and headstrong, till, in fact, the whole family becomes utterly law- less, rebellious against parental authority, and unamiable to all around. How many have had to curse the over-indulgence of fond and foolish parents ? How many, as they have ruminated amidst the desolations of poverty, or the walls of a prison, have exclaimed : 'Oh, my over- fond parents, had you exercised that authority with which God intrusted you over your child- ren, and had you checked my childish corrup- tions, and punished my boyish disobedience, had you subjected me to the restraint of salu- tary and wholesome laws, I had not brought you with a broken heart to your grave, nor myself with a ruined character to the jail.' " Testimonies of Distin^uisiiod Men. A^5 It is not unconinioii for parents to treat the first acts of puerile rebellion rather as freaks to be laii^died at, than as faults to be reformed. Oil, says the mother, it's only play, he will know better soon ; he does not mean a,ny harm ; I cannot chide him. No; and if the father, wiser than herself, does, she cries, and, perhaps, in the hearing' of her child, reproves her husband for cruelty, h^rom what- ever cause it proceeds, it is in the hi^diest dejj^ree injurious to the character of children. Let those who are K^ii^ty of it read the fearful comment upon this sin, which is furnished for their warning in the history of Eli and his family. The late Rev. Dr. Stamp says on the sub- ject : "What we are as families, such also will our neighborhood be; all our attempts to promote the well-being of society around us will assuredly prove futile, if the religious cul- ture of our respective households be unhappily neglected. Were family religion universal, could we find in every house an altar unto God, the stream of general society, thus purified at its source, would exhibit a striking contrast to its present ruffled and muddy aspect. The burstings forth of strife, the tumult of unholy passion, with all that proves the bane of social enjoyment, would cease to vex ; whilst under 1^6 The Domestic Sanctuary. the hallowinp^ influence of truth, the peace of coniiruinities would be as a river, and their rij;ht- eousness as the waves of the sea. Just as the duties of domestic worship are reco^'ni;^ed and carried out, is the nuich-to-be-desired consum- mation hastened." The late Rev. Dr. Olin, of the United States, observes: " The family institution is a divine ordinance, obviously desij^ned as a pre- paratory school for such a training of child- hood as shall best fit it for the reception of re- li^aous truth and the performance of religious duties. It is a period of physical weakness and absolute dependence upon the parent, when the heart is impressable and the mind plastic ; when the powers of imitation are strong and active ; and when unlimited con- fidence is reposed in the truth and propriety of parental inculcations. Over this period of human life, the laws of society, no less than the laws of heaven, make the parents' author- ity supreme. * '* * * Almost everything depends on preoccupying the soul with right habits, of which none is so closely connected with favorable religious development as the habit of obedience to legitimate authority. Every parent who fails of establishing this un- questionable dominion over his child, does in the same degree entail upon him a curse of Testimonies of Distinguished Men. 127 fearful omen. lie fosters the unhoni enmity of the heart to the claims of rclij^'ioii ; and so stren^'thens its o|ii,ositioii to the j^^overiiment of God, that the usual aj^encies of the |;:^(»spel are very likely to prove ineffectual f(tr the p^reat end of piety and salvation. That this dire- lection of parental faithfulness is one of the most common, as well as inveterate, hindrances to conversion, all ex{)erience and observation offer their concurrent testimony. It may be laid down as a Christian axiom, that the re- bellious spirit which refuses obedience to par- ents, will be the last to render it to God." Utterances like these on the importance of domestic religion might be multiplied, if neces- sary, but we forbear. Thero is a case of indi- vidual character containing points of interest which may be both instructive and encouraging to those who, like Joshua, have resolved, that whatever others may do, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord. ' I remember, many years ago, a youth belong- ing to a religious family in the country, coming to take his place as an indoor apprentice in connection with city life. The principals of his new home were professedly Baptists, but made little or no pretension to religion beyond going occasionally to a place of public worship on the Sabbath dav. On the Sabbath it was 128 The Domestic Sanctuary, his duty to be at his paioiitnl homo. There was no ii'h^'ioiis cliMiuiiit (Mtlicr in th(* house or sho[), so that tliey all liad their conversation in the hists of the flesh, fuUillin/^' tlie desires of tlie flesh and of the mind. Hy the influence of outsi(U' associations he was hrou^dit to see the error of his ways, and eventually to he con- verted from them. This soon developed itself in newness of life and character. As usual, the secret of it was mistaken by his shopmates, hence a continuous peltin^^ storm of petty per- secution ; in place of the civilities and sociali- ties of life, there was an md)r()ken tirade of coarseness and the low vul^^arities of unreason- able and wicked men, the master himself some- times joining with them. To live a religious life under such circum- stances would be considered almost impractic- able, but the grace of God was sufticient, and better days were in store for him. One day when the master and he were alone, he sum- moned courage to ask him for an explanation of the unseemly treatment to which he was al- most daily subjected. It was quite evident it was more than the master expected, as he could make no explanation, nor yet plead in- nocence on his own part, or ignorance in that of others. He frankly acknowledged the just- ness of the complaint made to him, at the i Testlmonloa of Distinguished Men. Hi) 1 same titno promisinj^' imtncdiate ref()rinatioui door? Shall your very habitation witness before i'» I a^^ainst you? ''Shall the stone cry out of the walls, and the beam out of the timber answer , it," that in your dwelliiif^'s (iod is dishonored and His worship not known ? "Have I been a wilderness unto you," appeals Jehovah, "a lan