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" Corns oat of her, mr pwpto, that ye be not -pwuken of her Bins, Bad that y« raceive not of her plBi:nee."-i!«ir. iria 4. ^ (■A •,m M!*'A. NEW-YORK: rUBLISHXD BY HOWE k BATBI, MO. 68 OBATHAN'tf. 18 8 6. M .^40Sl»$.iai^fimsi^iiiliiiK ^i r.'"-- pii IBnIerwI. tecordinf to Aet of ConfM-. •» "« »••' "'"• ••' ;V , ^ to Ihe Clorh'i Offleo of tbo Wftriet 0.«.rt of M.Macl.«wlu.J P, OoiiioN, 1«- .•^.H- % (I 1 In thfl yrar 1830, by rt of MtMacliuMtU.] -V M ' CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. ■ABLY BIOOLLCOTIOMf. Euly Lii^— lUUfioui fiducailon nHlwtaA-rirtt School— Enlranco into the School of the ConpecatiomI Nuno^nr— Brief Account of the Nunneries in Montreal— The Confi*' gational Nunnery— The Black Nunnery— Th« Orn Nuonaty —Public Raepect for theae Inatitutiona-Inatroetioa RaMi««d — Tba CatMhism-Tha Bible .... paf* W CHAPTER n. OONOaCaATIOMAL NUNNIir. Story toU hy a fellow Pupil againat a Prieat— Other Storiee— Pretty Mary— Confeas to Fattier Uichsrda— My subaequant Confeationa— Inatruction in tho Catechiim . . , V CHAPTER HI. ■LACK MUNKBRT. PreparatioM to become a Novice in the Black Nunnary— En* tnoa*— OeeupatioM of tho Noricee— Th* Apaitmnta to whieii thai bad Acceaa— Firat Intenriew with Jan* Rar*- ■Maraagofir Iha Superior— A wonderflil Nun— Her RaUqMB —Tho Ustf Oood ShephMd, or Namalaaa Kan-Oo nfa Mta i of HoHoM ...... « .. j«.ft ♦ • m ■^^mtM ^i^i«t^ i- in CONTk^XTI. 1; CHAITEIi IV. ' Diipbtwrf wUh thn Convent— Uft it— RMltlenee at Rl. DMib — ReltquM— Marrlngn— Kcturn lo (ha Ulack Nuiuiory— Ob< jMliont mod* by •oiimi Novicai 41 CHAPTER V. RaealvMl ConflmMtion- Ptinful FMllnga—SiMciiMn of In* ■truetUma nctivad on th« Rubjact . . . . M . CHAPTER VI. Ttkinf Um Vail— Intarvlaw tftarward with the Huperior— Burprlaa and Horror at tha Uucloauraa— Reaolution to Submit .... U ^ ^ . CHAPTER VII. Mly fannw n U Jana Ray amonf tha Nuna ei CHAPTER VIII. Daacrlptkm of Apaitmania in tha Black Nunnary, in order— Fit^ Floor— Second Floor— Oarrat— Tha Founder- Sopa. rior'a Management with the Friendi of Novicee— Religioua Llae— Criminality of Conoealing eina at Confeeaion 73 ^ CHAPTER IX. Kana wHh drnflir nunea— Squaw Nuna— Firat viail to tha , Callu-— Daachptioa of it— Shocking Diaeovery thora-Supa- rior'a inetnictiona— Private Signal of the Prieeto— Booka uaed in the Noanary— Opiniona aipraaaed of tha Bible— Specimena ofwhatlkDOWoftheScriptofaa 01 CHAPTER X. j,j j,s .«^.tA«r;i,:^-, .« MnMtetin of Bread and Woi CSMMIaa cwrM on In llw OoB- liiil ■■pmitmniik WnipnUrtaa-Virgin Mary'i f'm awkion • Vmmi Tha Biabop'a power mm fln-^fy IaMiM> HaWtttow J«»B»r-yacill«ttOB«f>ii«i^ . NO rl^' CONTBN'ri. xyU RuibUnee al 81. DMiit a Ulack Nuiincry— Ob> . 41 ngi~Sp«ciiiicn of In- . SO with the Hupcrior— gaunt— lUiolution to . . . . 53 iNuna . . 04 [. k NuniMry, In onitr— -Tha Founder— 8op«> of Novicei— iUllgioui it ConfMiion . 73 int-Firtt tWI to th« )iKover]r then— 8upa> be Prieate— Book* uicd f tha Bible— 8pecimena . . . . 01 - 1 fiJ -*;.i>il«vi,,i«'i'. eantad oa In Iha Can- rgioMaiy'Brte) war ftoa-ifrln CHAPTKR Xr. Atarmlnf On1«r from tha 8ii|iarlor— Proceod to exteute it— Scene In an upper room-Sonlance of Itaath, an'l Murder- My owncliatrBM-KaportimAiUto KriowliorSl. Krancii 111 CHAPTER Xlf. UeMription of the Room of tlie Three HUtai, itnd Ihn Picturea In it— Jane Kay niliculin? Ptieila -Their crmiiiHl TfMttnant of H* at Cutifitailnn -Jane Kay'a Trick* with tha Nun*' Apron*, HandkArohiafi, and Ni||htgown*—Applea . 131 CHAPTER Xlir. Jana Ray'* Trick* continued— The BroooMltck Ohoet— 8iua^ walkinf-Sntied Cider— Changinc Bada-Objeeta of aona of her Trick*— Feigned Humility— Alarm . . . Ut CHAFFER XV. InfluaneInK Novicee— Difficulty ofconviueing Peraona froaa iho United Bute*— Tale of the OUiiop in the Ctly— Tha Biahop in tha Convent— The Prieonera in the Cella— Praetiao ia Blnginr-NamtiTaa-Jana Bay'a Hymna-Tho Supailor'a ^••iTriek . . I»4 CHAPTER XVI. IVaquancy of the Prieat*' VUiU to tha Nunnery-Their Free- dom and Crime*- DiOlculty of learning their Namee— Their Holy Retreat— Objection* in our Mind*— Moana u*adlocoa» tanet Conaeianea— Ingenioua ArgumanU . . m CHAPTER XVn. TnaiaMnt of young InCuiu in tha ConTant— Talking in Slaap — AmtManenU— Ceremonie* at tha pabiio intannanU of da aaaaad Nuna— Sudden diaappaaranea of thaOM 8uparior~ laUodoetMia of the new one-Superatition— Alarm of ■ Nw —Diflkolty of Communication with other Nana . . 174 ,5 J 'f '% ,4M* A Ut ti iviil CONTRMTI. Cll.vnEH XVIIf. DiMppauMM of Nttn»-Hi. Pmn-Otf-Vy itrnfomj CoaAnamMtl In • C«ll- TIm Chular* HaMon-llow lo •vaM I*,— Ucett|Mltoni in lh« Convunl duriiif lh« l'«»lt'»ne«— Mtn- ufMlura ot WiiCtntllM-TlM Klaetum Kuitj-Alirmtmoag UmNum— Pf«ptr*tlau*l»( D«ranc«— IVnancta . . IM CHAPTER XIX. Th* PuDiilun«nt of the C*p-Tha PrtoMi uf lh« Diilriet of MonlrMl h«v« frut mcm* to tlia Ultcli Nunnary— CriniM cominittad and lequlrad bjf thatn— Tlia Popa'a Commaml to eommil indacani Criinaa— CbaiMWn of Iha Old and Nf w Su> (wrion— Tha Ttinldiiy ot tha Uttor-I bagan to ba amplojrad In Iha lloapltala— tloma tccounl orthem-WwruiDg gi«an ma by a atek Nun~Pananea by Hanging . •301 CHAPTER XX. Mora »lalu to iha lmpriaon« ^v*^^*4*"^ - ^w Ill -fUlt-My Umporuy I i^aMun-How In tvaid igtha I'ukli'ane*— Mm>> :ion Kuiti -AlirrniinaAi — IVntncM . . IM rtKtti uf (h« Diilriet of Hack Nuniwry— CrioiM 'ha Popc't Command to lorihaOlilandNrwSu- -I bagan to ba amplojrad hem— Waruing givan mo I . . . .801 X. rheir faara— Othara tarn* I— Tha Agnua Dal— Tho ilr«al— Haerat Rooma to iara in tha Convant— Tho r of Nona in tho Oonvant in for It— Plan— Dalibo< . . . . 911 PREFACE. > V,irf*<»f»» ■ .'.*n .t (t ia hoped that thu reader xti the eMUing narrative will not lupposo that it i§ a fiction, or that the scenes and persons that I have deliifea- ted, hod not a real existence. It is also desired, that the author of this volume may be regarded, net 01 a voluntory porticipotor in the very guilty transactions which ore described ; but receive sympothy for the triols which she has endured, and the peculiar situation in which her post ex« perience, and escape from the power of tho Su- perior of tho Hotel Dieu Nunnery, at Montreal, and the snares of the Roman Prieala in CanadBf have left her. •i •;•«. WmmUUttlt^ 12 PKBVACK. ty* My feelings are frequently distressed and agi' tated, by the recollection of what I have passed through ; and by night, and by day, I have lit- tle peace of mind, and few periods of calm and pleasing reflection. Futurity also appears un- certain. I know not what reception this little work may meet with ; and what will be the ef- fect of its publication here, or in Canada, among Strangers, friends, or enemies. I have given the world the truth, so far as I have gone, on sub- jects of which I am told they are generally ig- norant ; and I feel perfect confidence, that t«.ny &ct8 which may yet be discovered, will conf firm my words, whenever they can be obtained. Whoever shall explore the Hotel Dieu Nunne- ry, at Montreal, will find unquestionable evi- dence that the descriptions of the interior of that edifice, given in this; book, were Airnished by one familiar with them ; for whatever alte- rations may be attempted, there are changes which no mason or carpenter can make i^ ■■*:■■ ■ ■■— \-,— u~Jij.:— ws.-*^H"<*fcAiJ^i!^- ,r distressed and agi' what I have passed i by day, I have lit- icriods of calm and ty also appears un- recepticn this Httle what will be the ef- r in Canada, among s. I have given the have gone, on sub- ey are generally ig^ onfidence, that cny jcovered, will coo' ey can be obtained. Hotel Dieu Nunxie- iinquestionable evi- t of the interior of lok, were Atrnished for whatever alte- there are changes Iter can make vfA 1>KB»A0>. 18 •fl^tually conceal ; and, therefore, there must be plentiful evidence in that institution of the truth of my description. There are living witnesses, also, who ought to be made to speak, without fear of penances, tortures, and death ; and possibly their testimo* ny, at some future time, may be added to con* firm my statements. There are witnesses I should greatly rejoice to see at liberty ; or rathei there were. Are they liring now? or will thejr be permitted to live after the Priests and Supe> riors have seen this book 1 Perhaps the wretch- ed nuns in the cells have already suffered for my sake — ^perhaps Jane Ray has been silenced for ever, or will be murdered, before she has an opportunity to add her most important testimo* nytomina * :.vi" 4 But speedy death, in fespect only to this wIfM, can 09 no great calamity to those who f' ri - 1 P //.■* w>?^ f4 . " rUEFACF.. '^ lead the life t>f a nun. The mere recollection of it always makes me miserable. It would distress the reader, should 1 repeat the dreams with which I am often terrified at night ; for 1 sometimes fancy myself pursued by my worst enemies ; frequently 1 seem as if shut up again in the Convent ; often I imagine myself present at the repetition of the worst scones that I have hinted at or described. Sometimes I stand by the secret place of interment in the cellar; sometimes I think 1 can hear the shrieks of helpless females in the hands of atrocious men ; and sometimes almost seem actually to look again upon the calm and placid countenance of Sunt Francis, as she appeared vv-hen sur- rounded by her murderers, v' ' " I cannot banish the scenes and characters of this book bom my memory. To md it can nerer appear like an amusing fable, or lose its interest and importancft Tbp^tory is one mere recolloctioQ serable. It would repeat the dreams led at night ; for I jued by my worst as if shut up again 2;ine myself present scones that I have metimes I stand by ent in the cellar; ear the shrieks of i of atrocious men ; a actually to look placid countenance ppeared when sur- s and characters of y. To md it can ig fable, or lose its Tbf^tory is one pRBrAca. II which is continually before me, and must return fresh to my mind, with painful emotions, as long as I live. With time, and Christian in- struction, and the sympathy and examples of the wise and good, I hope to learn submissively to bear whatever trials are appointed for me, and to improve under them all. Impressed as I continually am with the fUght- ful reality of the painful communications that I have made in this volume, I can only offer to all persons who may doubt or disbelieve my statements, these two things: — • Permit me to go through the Hotel Di«a Nunnery, at Montreal, with some impartial ladies and gentlemen, that they may compara my account with the interior parts of that bnild* ing, into which no persons bat the Boooan Bishop and the Priests are ever admitted ; and if they do not find my description tmoi ^en 'i ':'*-. ■*• -li •"MiMriti rtijimiffiiinrfniT-"" ■5r-;»-j|jJiv "!if.*' 4 .,.4-. ..t ... "li ini..ii». Iring me before a 1 willing to meet m, Bonin, and companions, with nuns, before ten >« 1 M~ .1 r?>f<*" ■ti Maria Monk. ..4 ■■ ■.»,• /• AW] "■^ . :;-;--;:;^:''''^t #■ '■ri ^;<: ^ ^\- ;^:--f'; ■ ' ..■■« AWFUL DISCLOSURES. S'S:' ''M^- ti^ ^^- ?:| 1:S m ^' ^ 'Ui -^.» -»«-i. 'V « .■■ ; / ^i^- *^ ". I .> •' AWFUL DISCLOSURES. i*. CHAPTER I. i'.kd' ' PABLT KKOOLLBOTIONI. Sarif Li^t-KMgiout Education n*tt*ettd-FlrM B^oU- EntrauM ii\l» Ih* Sduol nf tS» CmgrtgaiiinuU AlWniMrr— • Brtif Account i^lhtNunturiu in Mu^r*at-Th*Cmgr^ gtaional iVunntry— 7K« Bladt ATitmMnr— 7ft« Ort Mnf nmr-Pvhlie Rmpcet/or tkt$» tnttUtMont-IntlniMan B*- mlmi-ntCatiMtn-TktBibU. ^ Mt parents were both from SoiUaiid, bat htd baai resident in Lower Canada somtttime before their marriage, which took place in Mmnreal ; and in that city I have spent most «f my life. I,1W* bom at 8t John's, where they lured for a short tidi M^ Itf her was an oflScer under the British govemmeBt,«nd my mother has enjoyed a pensioa oq thut aceomH over since his death. " * . According to my earliest reeollectioiM, fcfrrWW Maative to his fiunily ; and a particular p«^f»far4||i the Blbli^ wbkh often occurred to Vfi, I ifmj «i«y jRobaUy bava .bamil f : 90 lARLY KlCOLLIOTIOira. •Aer hit death I do not recoHvcl to have received any religious instruction nt homo; and was not even brought up to read the scriptures : my mother, al- though nominally a Protestont, not being accustom- ed to pay attention to her children in this respect. She was rather inclined to think well of the Catho- lics, and often attended their churches. To my want of religious instruction at home, and tho ignorance of my Creator, and my duty, which was its natural effect, I think I can trace my introduction to Con- vents, and the scenes which I am to describe in the narrative. When about six or seven years of age, I went to •chool to a Mr. Workman, a Protestant, who taught in Sacrament-street, and remained several months. There I leuned to read and write, and arithmetic as iar aa division. All the progress I ever made in tlMM branches wa[| gained in that school, as I have Mver improved.d|f%ny of them since. A number of girls of my acquaintance went to aehool to thMians of the Congregational Nunnery, or Sisters opCharity, as they are sometimes called. The schools taaght by them are perhape more nu- merooa than some of my readers may imagine. Nuns are sent out from tlut ConTent to many of the towns and Tillages of Canada to teach small sehools ; •ad anno of them are established as instmctreaMi im diiereat parts of the United States. When I WM •boot ten ymrs old, my mother asked me om diqr w^mmttttmlm f ' (OTIOMI. ;( to have received any s; and waa not even urct : my mother, aU It, not being accustom- lildren in this respect, nk well of tlie Catho- [lurches. To my want me, nnd tho ignorance svhich was its natural ' introduction to Con< am to describe in the ears of age, I went to Protestant, who taught nincd several months, trrite, and arithmetic as ipress I ever made in that school, as I have a since. acquaintance went to gregational Nunnery, are sometimes called are perhaps more nu- saders may imagine. /onTMit to many of the teach small aehools ; ihed at inatmctre w w IStater Whflnlwu er M Iced me oaf dqr ■AILT aBCOLLKOTlONI. H if I should not liko to learn to rod and write French ; and I then began to think seriously of at> tending the school in the Congregational Nunnery. I had already some acquaintance with that language^ sufficient to speak it u litile,aa I heard it everyday, and my mother know something of it. I haven distinct recollection of my first entrance into the Nunnery ; and tho day was an important one in my life, as on it commenced my acquaintance with a Convent. I was conducted by some of my young friends along N6tre EVime-street till we reached the gate. Entering that, we walked some distance along the side of a building towards the chapel until wo reached a door, stopped, and rung a bell. This was soon opened, and entering, we pro- ceeded through a long covered passage till we took a short turn to the left, soon after which we reached the door of the schoolroom. On my entrance, the Superior met me, and told me first of all, that I mtiat always dip my fingers into the holy water at her door, cross mjrself, and say a short prayer ; and thia she told me was always required of ProtestaQt as well as Catholic children. There were about fifty girls in the school, and the nuns professed to teach something of reading, writing, arithmetic, and geography. Th** methods howerer were very imperfect, and little attention was davotod to them, Uie time being in a greet degree «lgn«ed with kasona in needle-work, .whMl wn •tf -n \ W BAIILV IIK(JOir.lCTION». IMrformed with much ■kill. Tho niinii hnd no very rfgular parta auigncd them in tho mnnnjfi-mi-nt of the achoola. Thoy were rather roujfh and unpol- iahed in their manncra, often oxdniminff, "c'm un menti," (ihat'a a lie,) and " mon Dieu," (my CJod.) on the moat trivial occaaionn. Their wriiinjj wna quite poor, and it wna not Jincoinmon for them to put capital letter in the middle of a word. The only book on geography which we utiidied, waa a cnto- chiam of geography, from which we lenrnt by henrt a few queationa and onawera. Wo were aomctimea referred to a map, but it waa only to point out Mon- treal or Quebec, or aome other prominent name, while we had no inatruclion beyond. It may be ncccaaary for tho information of aomo of my readera, to mention that there ore three dia- tinct Convent* in Montreal, all of different kinda; that il, founded on different plana, and governed by different ruloa. Their namca are aa followa :— lit. Tho Congregational Nunnery, ad. Tho Block Nunnery, or Convent of Sifter Bourgeoiae. Sd. The Grey Nunnery. Tha firat of theae profeaaea to be devoted entirely to the education of girla. It would require however only a proper examination to prove that, with the ex- ception of needle-work, hardly any thing ia taught ' excepting prayera and thecatechiam; the inatruetiaa in reading, writing, Ac. in fact, amounting to nkf 'W- .ICTIONS. Thn niinH hnd no rery in till' marioti'cmrnt of Ihcr rou(fh nnii iinpol- oxclniminff, "c'til un lion L)i«'n." (my Got],) ». Their wriling wnt ornmon for iJu'in to put of II word. 'I'lio only w •liidii'd, vva* a cntc- lich wc Icnrnt by hi-nrt Wo wore loinctimot only to point out Mon- ilior prominent name, beyond. information of aomo Mi thcro are threo di4* nil of different kindi ; lane, and governed by are ai foUowi :— lunnery. or Conrent of Sifter to be devoted entirely ^ould require however >rove that, with the ex- ly any thing u tanght ehiam; the inatroction it, amouoting to rttf KAaLV MRCOLLICTIONa. w^t 88 little, and oAen to nothing. Thii Convent ia adja* cent to thnt ni>xt to bo apoken of, being aeparated from it only by a wall. The second profeaset to bti a charitoblu inititution for thn core of the aick, and the lupply uf bread and medicines for the f)Oor; and aonu'thinir is done in these drparlmenta of char< ity, althuuffh but nn in^iit^nificant amount, compared with the sizo of the buildinga, and tho number of tlio inmatea. The Cirey Nunnery, which ia aituatcd in a dia* lant part of tho city, ia also a large edifice contain* ing departments for the care of insane persona and foundlings, With this, however, I have less personal acquointnncc than with either of the othera. I have often aeen two of the Urey nuna, and know that their rulea, aa well aa thoae of the Congregational Nunnery, do not confine them alwaya within their walls, like those of the Black Nunnery. Theae two Convents have their common names (Black and Qrcy) from the colours of the dresaea worn by their it^mates. In all theae three Convents, there are certain apart* menta into which atrongers can gain admittance, bat others from which they are always excluded. In all, large quantities of varioua ornaments are made by the nuns, which are exposed for sale in the Or^ N«siM< Rooms, and aflford large pecuniary receipta efwy year, which contribute mocl) to their ineomcc la thoM rooma visiters often parekaea aoek tliiafi $ ■ib ^i"tr *i ■ARtT KICOLLICTIONl u piMM thrm from ■omeoflheoldand conflHtntial nun* who have tho charge of ihrm. From ail that appvan to th« public eye, thenuna of thrii) Convent! are devoted tu th« charitable ob* jecta appropriate to «>ach, the labour of making diflfer* cnt articles, known to be manu&ciured by them, and the rvligioui obnrrvanfca, which occupy a large i»or- lion of their time. They ore regardfd with much rcipcct by the people* at largo ; and now and then when a novice talfcn (ho veil, the i« luppoaed to re- tire from the temptations and troubles of this world into a elate of holy seclusion, whore, by prayer, self- mortification, and good deeds, she prepares herself for heaven. Sometimes the 8upi>rior of a Convent obtains the character of working miracles; and when such a one dies, it is published through the country, and crowds throng the Convent, who think indulgences are to be derived from bits of her clothes or other things she hns possessed ; and many havs Mnt articles to be touched to her bed or chair, in which a degree of virtue is thought to remain. I naed to participate in such ideas and feelings, and began by degrees to look upon a nun as the happiest of women, and a Convent as the most peaceful, holy, and delightful place of abode. It is trna, some paini were taken to impreaa snch views upon me. lofme of the prieats of the seminary often viaited th« Coo* gregational Nunoary. and both caleekiadi and talked with iM on Veligion. TIm Boporior of M t> M .KOTIONi th« old and conlldtntkl f ihrm. h« public eye, the nuna ed tu the charitable ob> labour of making diflfer- iiubciured by them, and bich ocrupjr a larffp [tor- re regarded with much JO ; and now and then I, ihe ia auppoivd to re- I troubles of this world I, whore, by prayor, aelf- Is, she prepares herself 8up<>rior of a Convent vorkinjir miracles; and published through the the Convent, who think J frum bits of her clothes leased ; and many have to her bed or chair, in ia thought to remain, t ideaa and feelings, and on a nun as the happiest tha most peacefnl, holy, e. It is trna, some paini views upon me. Sofine y often viaitad th« Con* i both cateekiaad ad TboBaporioronW lARLV RKCULLBcrluHS. 83 Bluek Numifry adjoiniiii^, alio, occasionally, camo into ihu ichool, uud eiilnrged un thn lulviuitagi'S wa enjoyed in liuvingsueh lenoheri, nnd dropped some- thing nuw und thua relating to her own Convent, calculated to make us entorlitia the highest ideas of it, ami tu make ui sometimes think of the possibility uf getting into it. Among the instructions given us by the priests, some of the moat pointed wera those directed against the prolentaiil Hible. They often enlarged ujwn the evil lenJonuy uf ihut lx>ok. and told uf that but for it many a soul now eondenined to hell, ami suffering eternal puiii»hmenf, might have been in happineaa. They could not say uny thing in its favour : for that would be upenking against religion and against God. They warned us against ita wo, ond reprc* sented it as a thing very dangerous to our souU. In confirmation of this, they woold repeat some of the antwers taught us at catechism, a few of which I will here give. Wo had little cu»(jchisma {" Le Petit Catechism") put into our hands to study; but the priests soon began to teoch us n new set of answers, which were not to be found in our books, from some of which I received new ideas, and got, as I thought, important light on religious subjects, which confirmed mo more and more in my belief in the Roman Catholic doctrines. These questions and anawara I can atill recall with tolerable accuracy, and aoroc of them I will add ftere. I never Imvo i 26 BABLV RMOOLLBCTIONa. road them, aa we were taught them only by word of mouth. " Question. Pourquoi le bon Dieu n'a pas fait tous lea commandcmena ? " Reponse. Parce quo I'homme n'est pas ai fort qu'il peut garder toua sea commandemens." " Question. Why did not God make all the com* mandments? " Ansuer. Because man is not strong enough to keep them." And another, " Q. Pourquoi I'homme ne lit pas I'Evangilo? "R. Parce que I'esprit de I'homme est trop bom^ et trop faible pour comprendre qu'est ce que Dieu a «crit." ' " Q. Why are men not to read the New Ti-stt ment? " A. Because the mind of man is too limited and weak to understand what Qod has written." These questions and answers are not to be found in the common catechisms in use in IVIontreai and other places where I have been, but all the children in the Congregatiqpal Nunnery were taught them, and many more not found in these books. .■-^?-U^ i ffl f U B t i ii i in tipnitt*nm!iu0*tM mk'm mrnaatmitK Hm mmti CCTIONa. : them only by word of on Dieu n'a pas fait mme n'est pas si fort (imandemens." jiod make all the com* I not strong enough to Di I'homme ne lit pas I'bomme est trop bom^ a qu'est ce que Dieu a I read the New Ti-stit man is too limited and i has written." ers are not to be found n use in Montreal and en, but all the children ery were taught them, these books. ,«v::, !! ,^:^_..^^y; CHAPTER II. CONOREOATIONAL NVNMIiT. Btory Md by a/tUow Pupil againit a Priest.— Other Storiu." Prttty Mary.—Cor\fu$ to t'athtr Hichardt.—MftubMjvttU Cmsftttwiu.—inttruction. in tilt Cattehiim. ,.^^ Thkbb was a girl thirteen years old whom I knew in the School, who resided in the neighbour- hood of my mother, and with whom I had been &miliar. She told me one day at school of the conduct of a priest with her, at confession, at which I was astonished. It was of so criminal and shame- ful a nature, I could hardly beliere it, and yet I had so much confidence that she spoke the truth, that I could not discredit it. She was partly persuaded by the priest to bejievo he could not sin, because he was a priest, and that anything he did tq her would sanctify her ; and yet she seemed M>mewhat doubtful how she should act A priest, she had been told by him, is a holy man, and appointed to a holy office, and therefore what would be wicked in other men, could not be so in him. She told me that she had informe^ermother of it, whoA^ressed no anger nor diM^^ttollitkii ; but onljttfqraned it upon her not to speak of it; mi u -■x^vMiiv^.'r^: '4- !*» w- 1 28 CONOREOATIONAI. NVKN'KRY. remarked to her as priests were not like men, but holy and sent to instruct and save us, whatever they did, was right. I afterward confessed to the priest that I had heard the story, and had a penance to perform for indulging a sinful curiosity in making inquiries ; and the girl had another for communicating it. I afterward learned that other children had been treated in the same manner, and also of similar pro- ceedings in other places. Indeed, it was not long before such language was used to me, and I well remember how my views ol right and wrong were shaken by it. Another girl at the School, from a place above Montreal, called the Lac, told me the following story of what had occurred recently in that vicinity. A young squaw, called la Belle Marie, (pretty Mary,) had been seen going to confession at the house of the priest, who lived a little out of the villagt. La Belle Marie was afterward missed, and her murdered body was found in the river. A knife was also found covered with blood, bearing the priest's name. Great indignation was excited among the Indians, and the priest immedi- ately absconded and wais never heard from. A note waa found on his table addressed to him, telling him to fly if he was guilty. It was supposed that the priest was fearful that hia conduct might be betrayed by this youiig female ; •n4 he updertook to clear himself by killing her. : m- NtNNKRY. rc not like men, but lave us, whatever they the priest that I had nance to perform for in making inquiries; ir communicating it. 2t children hod been nd also of similar pro- re such language was ibex how my views ol I by it. Another girl >6ve Montreal, called ig story of what had ity. A young squaw, Mary,) had been seen ise of the priest, who La Belle Marie was rdered body was found »o found covered with le. Great indignation and the priest immedi- r heard from. A note led to him, telling him priest was fearful that by this youpig femalis ; iself by killing her. 4,5 ■jf conorkoational nunnirv. V9 These stories struck me with surprise at first, but I gradually began to feel differently, oven supposing them true, and to look upon the priests as men in- capable of sin ; besides, when I first went to confes- sion, which I did to Father Richards, iu the old French church, (since taken down,) I Iieard nothing improper ; and it wos not until I had been several times, thnt the priests became more and more bold, and were at length indecent in their questions and even m their conduct when I confessed to them in the Sucristie. This subject I believe is not under- stood nor suspected among Protestants; and it is not my intention to speak of it very particularly, be- cause it is impossible to do so without saying thing* both shameful and demoralizing. I will only say here, that when quite a child. I beard from the mouths of the priests at confession what I cannot repeat, with treatment corresponding; and several females in Canada have assured me, that- they have repeatedly, ond indeed regularly, been required to answer the same and other like questions, many of which present to the mind deeds which the most iniquUous and corrupt heart could hardly, ioveut. sj? There was a frequent change of teachers in the School of the Nunnery; and no regular system was pursued in our instruction. There were many Duna who came and went while I was there, beings fiwqaently called in and out without any perc<»tible 3» 7^ ■%-•» I fii n^ifcliHi iif " * HU" Si so OONORKOATIONAL NVNNKRV. reason. They supply school teachers to many of the country towns, usually two for each ofthe towns with which I was acquainted, besides sending sisters of charity to diflerent parts ofthc United States. Among those whom I saw most, was Saint Patrick, an old woman, for a nun, ('hat is, about forty,) very igno- rant, and gross in her manners, with quite a beard on her face, and very cross and disagreeable. She was sometimes our teacher in sewing, and was ap- pointed (0 keep order among us. We were allo%v«d to enter only a few of the rooms in the Congrega- tional Nunnery, although it was not considered one of the secluded Convents. In the Black Nunnery, which is very near the Congregational, is an hospital for sick jwople from the city ; and sometimes some of our boarders, such aa were indisposed, were sent there to be cured. I was once taken ill myself and sent there, where I remained a few dap. There were beds enough for a considerable num- ber more. A physician attended it daily; and there area number ofthe veiled nuns of that Convent who ipend most of their time there. ^i These would also sometimes read Iwtures and repeat prayers to us. After I had been in the Congregational Nunnery alwut two years, I left it, and attended several difler- ent schools for a short time ; but I toon became die- latisfiedr having many and severe trials to enddre ftVNNRRV. achers to many of the lach ofthe towns with es sending sisters of Inited States. Among 3aint Patrick, an old )ut forty,) very igno- '8, with quite a beard i disagreeable. She sewing, and was ap- s. We were alio tv«d ms in the Congrega- as not considered one ich is very near the for sick i)eop!c from of our boarders, such Ihero to be cured. I 1 sent there, where I a considerable num- sd it daily ; and there I of that Convent who Jrui » read Inures and ijfregational Nunnery tended several difler- iit I toon became die- rere trials to endure .1?; srvf-"- ■ ■•% OONORIOATIONAL NUNNRRY. SI at home, which my feelings will not allow me to describe; and as my Catholic acquaintances had often spoken to me in favour of their faith, I was in- clined to believe it true, although, as I before said, I knew little of any religion. While out of the nunnery, I saw nothing of religion. If I had, I believe I should never have thought of becoming a nun. r-.j y 1 t #■ f • - I •'J 1 Mimmmm- 4wmihm»mi». tm^nm-^^'-t*--' <''>•-- ^4« OHAPTEB III •LACK NVNNIKT. r itl III PriparatUm* to becomt a NotU$ in Iht IJlack Sunnery—En' tranet— Occupation* <\f the A'orirc*— 7'Ae Apartrntntt to vhiek tkey had Aeeeas— First Inlervieie with Jan* Rav-mRtt- «rtne*/or the Superior— A vonder/al Nan -Her RtHqua— The Holy Good Shtphtrd, or Namdeai Sun—Con/euion nmd, though for which I was but ill preparsd* iM> r I ti li a h Ci a n ei ii n w vi e( is th hi w a1 h< ei lii KKY. the world and all it* everlasting hnppineM coivcd me, and con- , where the novices, »08tul(iiites,) were oi- iir customary occupa- thcin, und they were ant parts of the room, jt in cacli group wos of the Convent, whoi« artments, to which no Vs we entered, the Su* that a new novice had esent who might have fnify it. a Miss Howard, from f fellow-pupils in the imediately recognised ne of the groups, at a shed by a nun, called Is to make a kind of a carry the consecrated minister the sacrament sr my feelings at that r of strangers, and ex- the arrival of the On- ceremonies were to ba I was but ill prepand, ■ LACK NITNNRaY. 85 OS I had not yet henrd the rules by which I waa to be governed, and knew nothing of the forma to ba repealed in the daily exercises, except the creed in Latin, and that imperfectly. This was during tha time of recreation, as it is called. The only recrea* lion there allowed, however, is that of the mind, and of this there is but little. We were kept at wor^, and permitted to speak with each other only on such subjects as relate to the Convent, and all in thv hearing of the old nuns who sat by us. We pro- ceeded to dinner in couples, and ate in silence whila a lecture was read. The novices had access to only eight of ilia apart* ments of the Convent; and, whatever else we wish- ed to know we could only conjecture. The sleep- ing room was in the second story, at tha end of tha western wing. The beds were placed in rowa, without curtains or any thing else to obstruct tha view; and in one corner was a small room partition- ed off, in which was the bed of the mVht-wateh, that is, the old nun that was appointed to oversea us for the night. In each side of the partition were two holes, through which she could look out upon ui whenever she pleased. Her bed was a little raiaad above the level of the others. There waa a lamp hung in the middle of our chamber, which ahowad every thiiig to her distinctly ; and as she had no light in her little room, we never could pareatv* whether she was awake or asleep. As we kn««r tMt ■■■M'li ii nlniliiiini iiMiii iiit i$Jf riintMiflii I' f * I 10 ILAOK NORIIIRT. thfl iHghtMit deviation from th» rule* would txpoM ut to hrr ob«crvotion, at well on to that of our eompaniona, in whom il .»• a virtue lo bitray ono «noth«r'i faults, m wiU ^. to confess our own. I felt myself under a continu»»l exposure to sufli-r what I disliked, nn»uu k'for# my acquumtanco with the Convent, and wn» (iniithed while I was there. This was sent us n prew iit to t{i« King of Engliind, as an expression of gratitude for the money aiMUKilly received from the govern- ment. It was about forty yards in length, uud very handsome. Wo were ignorant of the amount of money thus received. The Convent of Grey Nuns hM also received funds from the govemmcDt, though on aome account or other, had not for several years. I waa sitting by a window at ona time, with a fill named Jane M'Coy, when one of the old nuns came up and spoko to us in a tone of livelinesa and kindneas which seemed strange, in a place whcra «v«ry thing appeared so cold and reserved. Some rk which the made waa evidently intended to t. . #•*. i IRT. I rules would tipoM U an to that of our a virtue to bitray ono J confess our own, I uponuro to Bufli-r what occupied iu thinkii)(f what I must avoid, rules Bnd ccn'moniof luiiy, nnd wc hud to (servunco. W« w«ro work whilf I was a »peciint'n of tli* nuns' us a rich carpvi mid»' K.trn bcjjfuu Morn my •nt, Olid wn« fininhud 8 sriit us n prttS'Mit to xpressiou of gtutitud« ivfd from th« govern- Js in length, uud very lint of llie amount of /onvenl nf Oroy Nuns [w government, though I nut for several years. )\v at on* timv, with len one of the old nuns tone of liveliness attd ige, in a place where and reserved. Some I evidently intended to ^\ BLAiiK NVNNCRV. * cheer and enooursge m«>, and made me think that she folt some intttrest in mu. I do not recollect what she snid, but I remember it gave me pleasure. 1 also remember that her manners struck roe »ingu> larly. She was rather old for n nun, that is, proba- biy thirty; her figure large, her fiice wrinkled, and her dress careless. She seemed also to bo under less restraint than the others, and this, 1 afterward found, was the case. She sometimes even set the rules at defiance. She would speak aloud when silence was rvcfuired. and sometimes walk about when she ought to bfive kept her place: she wouM even say and do tbinge on purpose to make us laugh ; and although often blamed for her conduct, had her oflfencee frequently passed over, when others would have been punished with penances. I learnt that this woman had always been singnbir. She never would consent to take a saint's namf on receiving the veil, and had always been kno^Ml^ her owii, which was Jane Ray. Her irregularis were found to be numerous, and penancee were of so little use in governing hor, that she was pitied by some, who thought her partially insane. She was therefore commonly spoken of as mad Jane Ray ; and when she committed a fruit, it was often apeio- gised for by the Superior or other nuns, on the gronud that she dut not know what she did. « ; The occupations of a novice in the Black NjU* aarjr are not sueh as sonia of our readers iHy 4 V '"'A-! I ^ i* . 1^ \ §§ ILAfK NItNNRIIf. ■uppOM. Tlicy (ir« not employed in studying th« higher brnncheiof ediicniion; they are not ofTercd any advanlageii for utorin^f their minda, or polishing Iheir mannera ; they are not taught even rending, writing, or arithmt'tic ; rtiitrh leaa any of the mora advanced brnnchea of knowledge. My time was chiefly employoyf(i in studying th« they are not ofTerod r miniiaiin(( tho powi>r of inlorci'aaiun, and a prop^'r obji-ct to bv ad- droaaud in prayt>r. Thia remarkublc individual I was further informed wua atill in tliu (.'oiivi>nt, thoiiflfh I never wna allowed to aoe hfr ; ahit did not tningki with the other nuna, either ut work, wurahip, or tneala ; for aho had no need of food, and not only her aoul but her body, wua in hoavi-n a nrvnt part of the time. What addvd, if poaaiblf, to the reverence and niyaterious awe with which I thought of her, wna the ihct I learned, that she hod no name. Thti titloa uacd in apcaking of her were, the holy aaint, reverend mother, or anint bon paateur (the holy good sheph«^rd.) It la wonderful thnt wo eovM have currivd our reverence for the Superior as i'nr a* we did, althoiigh it was thn direct tendency of many inatructiona ai.d ragulationii, indeed of the whole ayatein, to permit, •Ten to (ot^ft a superstitious tv^ari for her. One of us ^vas occnsionnlly cnlU-d into her room, to ent her naila, or drcas hving pain, and have toothache, &c. Jnno itgo us all in devotion ck up the feathers af- she would distribute Superior dies,reliqaes d you had better sup- rhen she would treat ly to turn it into ridi- y would she appear, obtain leave from the With a serious hc», on all of us, and made , perfect state of sane- enchsome unaccoant- le had enjoyed. Then There are -some who all ought to be inform- say something totally BLACK NUNNCnr. 4| different in English, which put us to the greatest agony for fear of laughing. Someliines she would say that shu expected to bo Superior herself, one of i.Sese days, and other tilings whi ;h I have not room to repeaJ. While I was in the Congregational Nunnery, I had gone to the parish church whenever I waa to confess; for although the nuns had a private con- fession-room in tlie building, the boarders were ta- ken in parties through the streets on different days by some of the nuns, to confess in the church ; but in the Black Nunnery, as we had a chapel and priens attending in the confessionals, we never left the building. Our confessions there as novices, were always performed in one wx./, so that it may bo sufHcient to describe a single case. Those of us who were to confess at a particular time, took our places on our knees near the confession-box, and after having repeated a number of prayers, &c. prescribed in our books, came up one at a tune and kneeled beside a fine wooden lattice work, which entirely separated the confussor from us, yet permitted us to place our faces almost to his ear, and nearly concealed his countenance from view, even when so near. I rec- ollect how the priests used to recline their heads on one side, and often covered their fiiees with their handkerchiefs, while they heard me confess my sins, and putquestionq to me, which were often of the modt *'ih'''^^^^- K If BLACK NrNNERY. "*» improiHT and even revolting nature, naming crimes both unthought of, and inhuman. Still, strange as it may seem, I was persuaded to believe that all this was their duty, or at least that it was done without sin. Veiled nuns would often appear in the chapel at confession ; though, as 1 understood, they generally confessed in private. Of the plan of their confes- sion-rooms I had no information ; hut I supposed the ceremony to be conducted much on the same plan as in the chapel and in the church, vis. with a lattice interposed between the confessor and the confessing. Punishments were sometimes resorted to, wWIel was a novice, though but seldom. The first time I ever saw a gag, was one day when a young novice had done something to offend the Superior. This girl I always had compassion for ; because she was very young, and an orphan. The Superior sent for a gag, and expressed her regret at being compelled, by the bad conduct of the child, to proceed to such a punishment ; after which she put it in ber mouth, 10 far as to keep it open, and then let it remain some time before she took it out. There was a leathern strap fastened to each end, and baekled to die bock part of the head. :„::!K.-iiisiam,^>!!A^>ieias*j^»:iiiiiiei3iit.i ■;_. ture, naming crimM ). Still, strange as it lieve that all this was IS done without sin. lear in the chapel at rtood, they generally plan of their confes- lon ; but I supposed much on the same e church, vix. with a confessor and the !8 resorted to, while I »m. The first time I when a young novice the Superior. This for; because she was rhe Superior sent for et at being compelled, Id, to proceed to such le put it in her mouth, nd then let it remain it out. There was a liend, andboddedto 41, y n--^.-:^ CHAPTER IV. Di$pl$aMdvUk the Content— L^ U—IttHdtnc$ at SI. DtnU —Rttitnuu^Marriag*— Return to Ih* Black Nu»n*ty—Ob* Jeetion* made 6y eome Notieto. ArriR I had been a novice four or fire years, that is, from the time I commenced school at the Con- vent, one day I was treated by one of the nuns in a manner which displeased me, and because I express- ed some resentment, was required to beg her pardon. Not being satisfied ;irith this, although I complied with the command, nor with the coolness with which the Superior treated me, I determined to quit the Ck>nvent at once, which I did without asking leave. There would have been no obstacle to my departure, I presume, novice as I then was, if I had asked permission ; but I was too much displeased to wait for that, and went home without spe^iking to any one on the subject I soon after visited the town of St. Denis, where I saw two young ladies with whom I had formerly been acquainted in Montreal, and one of them a (at- mer schoolmate at Mr. Workman's school After some conversation with me, and learning that I had known a lady who kept school in the place, they advised me to apply to her to be employed as btfr .i6»Sifc^lf-, '"ST" •••«»•" ;■■ 44 BIAOK NVNNKRT. aasistant teacher ; for she was then instructing the government school in that place. I visited her, and found her willing, and I engaged at once as her assistant. The government society paid her 20/. a-year : she was obliged to teach ten children gratuitously ; might have fifteen pence a month, (about a quarter of a dol- lar,) for each of ten scholars more ; and then she was at liberty, according to the regulations, to demand as much 08 she pleased for the other pupils. The course of instruction, as required by the society, embraced only reading, writing, and what was called ciphering, though I think improperly. The only books used were a spelling-book, I'instruction de la jeunesse, the Catholic New Testament, and I'histoire de Canada. When these had been read through, in regular suc- cession, the children were dismissed as having com< pleted their education. No difficulty is found in making the common French Canadians content with such an amount of instruction as this; on the con- trary, it is often very hard indeed to prevoil upon them to send their children at all, for they say it takes too much of the love of God from them to send them to school. The teacher strictly complied with tha re- quisitions of the society in whose emplojrment »hfi was, and the Roman Catholic catechism was regu- larly taught in the school, as much from choice as from submission to authority, as she was a strict Catholic. I had brought with me the little bag 1 jS21*j *Z:j&t, X.-^- T. then inatructing the iUing, and I engaged her 20/. a-ycar : she gratuitously; might ut a quarter of a dol- re ; and then she was ilations, to demand as r pupils. The course lie society, embraced was called ciphering, 'he only books used on de la jeunesse, the i'histoirede Canada. lUgh, in regular sue- issed as having com< ifRculty is found in inadians content with as this ; on the con- eed to prevail upon I, for they say it takes tm them to send them complied with the re- iose emplojrment shp catechism was regu- nnuch from choice as as she was a strict k me the little bag 1 m3t BtAOX NUKNKRY. 46 have before mentioned, in which I had so long kept the clippings of the thread left after making a dress for the Superior. Such was my regard for it, that I continued to wear it constantly round my neck, and to feel the same reverence for its supposed virtues as before. I occasionally had the toothache during my stay at St. Denis, and then always relied on the influence of my little bag. On such occasions I would say — " By the virtue of this bag, may I bo delivered from the toothache;" and I supposed that when it ceased, it was owing to that cause. While engaged in this manner, I became ac- quainted with a man who soon proposed marriage ; and young and ignorant of the world as I was, I heard his offers with favour. On consulting with my friend, she expressed a friendly Interest for me, ad- vised me against taking such a step, and especially as I knew little about the man, except that a report was circulated unfavourable to his character. Un- fortunately, I was not wise enough to listen to her advice, and hastily married. In a few weeks, I had occasion to repent of the step I had taken, as the re- port proved true— a report which I thought justified, and indeed required, our separation. After I had been in St. Denis about three months, finding my- self thus situated, and not knowing what else to do, I determined to return to the Convent, and pursue my fimner intention of becoming a Black a«B, could ^1 ■: i 'li ■A^ftfef*.: • ■''•itS^'XtlM.- 46 BLACK NVNNERT. I gain admittance. Knowing the many inquiriea that the Superior would make relative to me, during my absence before leaving St. Denis, I agreed with the lady with whom I had been associated as a teacher, (when she went to Montreal, which she did very frequently,) to say to the Lady Superior I had been under her protection during my absence, which would satisfy and stop further inquiry ; as I was sensible, should they know I had been married, I should not gain admittance. I sooa left and returned to Montreal, and on reach- ing the city, I visited the Seminary, and in another interview with the Superior of it, communicated my wish, and desired him to procure my re-admission as a novice. Little delay occurred. After leaving for a short time, he returned and told me that the Superior of the Convent had con- sented, and I was soon introduced into her presence. She blamed me for my conduct in leaving the nun- nery, but told me that I ought to be ever grateful to my guardian angel for taking care of me, and bringing me in safety back to that retreat. I re- quested that I might be secured against the re- proaches and ridicule of all the novices and nuns, which I thought some might be disposed to cast upon me unless prohibited by the Superior ; and this she promised me. The rttoney usually required for the admission of novices had not been expected from me. I had been admitted the first time wUJi- o f( d fr si n( rr cl al sc ih Pl J" to to m m ui 80 tei ht wi kt an th( 'iiiX'.i.^:n-»¥»i .i'i.*--t '^M|i!iiftb»'iii * % the many inquiries relative to me, during Denia, I agreed with been associated as a jntrcal, which she did Lady Superior I had ig my absence, which jr inquiry ; as I was had been married, I [ontreal, and on reach- inary, and in another ' it, communicated my are my re-admission irred. me, he returned and ihe Convent had con- iced into her presence. ;t in leaving the nun- ht to be ever grateful Ling care of roe, and to that retreat. I re- ;ured against the re- iie novices and nuns, t be disposed to cast the Superior ; and this ney usually required had not been expected ted the first time with- KLACK NITNN'KRV. "^-mfmrntmn 47 out any such requisition ; but now I chose to pay it for my re-admission. I knew that she was able to dispense with such a demand as well in this as tho former case, and she knew that I was not in posses- sion of any thing like tho sum she required. But I was bent on paying to the Nunnery, and nwustomed to rccelvv; tho doctrine often repeated to me before that time, that when the advantage of tho church was consulted, the steps taken were justifl able, let them be what they would, I therefore re- solved to obtain money on false pretences, confident that if all were known, I shotiM be far from dis* pleasing the Superior.^^went lo the brigade ma> jor, and asked him to give me the money payable to my mother from her pension, which amounted to about thirty dollars, and without questioning my authority to receive it in her name, he gave me it. From several of her friends I obtained small sums under the name of loans, so that altogether I had soon raised a number of pounds, with which I has- tened to the Nunnery and deposited a part in the hands of the Superior She received the money with evident totisfaction, though she must have known that I could not have obtained it honestly; and I was at once re-admitted as a novice. Much to my gratification, not a word fell from the lips of any of my old associates in relation to my anceremonions departure, nor my Toluntaiy re* BLACK NVNNCRT. turn. Th« Bupeiior's ordert, I had not a doubt, had been explicitly laid down, ai\d they certainly were carefully obeyed, for I never beard an alluaionmade to that subject durinj? my aubBequent atay in the Convent, except that, when alone, the Superior would herself sometimes say a little about it. There were numbers of young; ladies who enter- ed a while as notices, and became weary, or dis- gusted with some things tliey observed, and remain- ed but a short time. One of my cousins, who lived at Lachine, named Reed, spent about a fortnight in the Convent wkh ttie. She, however, conceived such an antiprthy against the priests, that ahe used •xpreasions which oflended the Superior. The first day she attended mass, while at dinner with OS in fall community, she said before us all : •« What a rascal that priest was, to preach against bis best friend I" All stared at such an unusual exclamation, and ■ome one inquired what she meant. •• I say," she continued, " he has been preaching against him who gives him his bread. Do you suppose that if there were no devil, there would be any priests f This boM young ncvice was immediately dia- missed; and in the afternoon we had a long sermon lifom the Sup* ior on the subject. It happened that I one day got a leaf of an Eng^ lish Bible, which had been brought into the ConTent, Jiii^n.^^ f^flt^^' A' ERY. had not a doubt, had they cettainly were ard an allusion made (Sequent stay in the e, the Superior would ibout it ng ladies who enter- Eurae weary, or dis* bserved, and remnin- ty cousins, who lived t about a fortnight in however, conceived priests, that she used e Superior, mass, while at dinner e said before us all : u, to preach against ual exclamation, and eant. le has been preaching his biead. Do you devil, there would be was immediately dia* ve had a long sermon ct got a leaf of an Eiir ught into the ConTant, BLACK NVNNKRV. 40 wrapped round some sewing silk, purchased at a store in the city. For some reason or other, I de- termined to commit to memory a chapter it contain- ed, which I soon did. It is the only chapter I ever lenrnt in the Bible, and I can now repent it. It is the second of St Matthew's gospel, >• Now when Jesus was bom in Bethlehem of Juden," Ac. It happened that I was observed reading the pa- per, and when the nature of it was discovered, I was condemned to do penance for my oflence. Great dislike to the Bible was shown by those who conversed with mo about it, and several have remarked to me, at different times, that if it were not for that book. Catholics would never be led to renounce their own faith. I have heard passages read from the Evangile, rekting to the death of Christ ; the conversion of Paul ; a few chapters from St. Matthew, and per- hapf a few others. The priests would also some- times take a verse or two, and preach from it. I hav«reed St Peter's life, but only in the book called the " Lives of the Saints." He, I understand, has the keys of heaven and hell, and has founded our church. Aji for St Pkuil, I remember, ab I was taught to understand it, that he was once a great per- ■eeutor of the Roman Catholics, until he became con- victed, and confessed to one of the father eonfts$or$, I don't know which. For who can expect to be forgiven* vriio does not become a Catholic, and confeai 9 ' S %> , ♦ rW*^ « CHAPTER V. ^: Rtedftd OmJlnnaHm-Pain/ul PttHng^-Spttimm ^ iW- ttruetUmt tittirid on Iht SvtiJttI, The day on which I received confirmntion wmb diitreuingr one to me. I bt^licvcd the doctrine of the Roman Catholici, and accordin)? to them 1 wa* guilty of three mortal sins; concealing somethini^ ■t confession, sacrilege, in putting the body of Christ in the sacrament under my feet, ond by receiving it while not in a statu of grace: and now, I had been led into all those sins in consequence of my mar- riage, which I never had acknowledged, as it would have cut me off* from being admitted as a nan. On the day, therefore, when I went to the church to be confirmed, with a number of others, 1 suffered extremely from the reproaches of my conscience. I knew, at lenst I believed, as I had been told, that » person who had been anointed with tho holy oil of confirmation on the forehead, and dying in the state in which I was, would go down to hell, and in the place where the oil had been rubbed, the names of my sins would blaze out on my forehead ; these would be a tiign by Avhich the devils woold know me; and would torment me the worse fiir "^'VteHw^B/eVr 'T th pc so sit •n CO bei all th( an to I f«a arc bis an< wa 0f( ] oft< Ih du( pas woi tol He prii witi ^•»' ting»—Sp*ttmMi ^ t*' 1 confirmation wu a red the doctrine of r(lln)7 to them 1 was ncealing somethini^ g the body of Christ and by receiving it md now, I had been H|ucnco of my mar- wledged, aa it would flitted aa a nan. [ went to the church of othen, 1 auflered I of my conscience. [ had been told, that .>d with the holy oil ,d, and dying in the ) down to hell, and id been rubbed, th« nit on my forehead ; ch the devil* would t me the worse for • LACE NUNNBRT. M them. I was thinking of all this, while I sat in the pew, waiting to rccoivo the oil. I felt, however, some consolation, as I often did afterward when my sins cnmc to mind ; and thisconsoiution I derived from anothcrdoctrineof theaamcchurch: viz. that a bishop could absolve me from all these sins ony iniiiulu before my deoth ; and I intended to confess them all to \ bishop before leaving the world. At length, the m' ment for administering of the "sacrament" arrived, and a bell was rung. Those who had com* to be confirmed had brought tickets from their con- fessors, and these were thrown into a bat, carried around by a priest, who in turn handed each to the bishop, by which ho learnt the name of each of us, and applied a little uf the oil to our foreheads. 'I'hia was immediately rubbed off by a priest with a bit of cloth, quite roughly. I went homo with some qu>.Im8 of conscience, and often thought with dread of the following tale, which I hove heord told to illustrate the sinfulness of con- duct like mine. A priest was once travelling, when, just as he was passing by a house, his horse fell on his kneea,iM>d would not rise. His rider dismounted, and went in to learn the cause of so e.xtraordinnry an occurrence. He found there a woman near death, to whom a priest was trying to administer the sacrament, but without success; for every time she attempted to ■wallow it, it was thrown back out of her moutli -I 'J li BLACK NVHNIIIV. into the chalice. Ho perceived it wu owing to uneonrMscci lin, and loolt awey the holy wafer from hnr: on which hi» horee roeo from his knc<-», and he pursued hie journey. I often rpmctnb««rcd nlio that I had bevn told, that we ahall have as many devila biting ua, t(\rc go to hell, ai we have unconfetaed aina on our con- aeieiicos. I waa required to devote myaelf for about a year to the itudy of the prayers and the practice of the eeremoniea ncceaaary on the reception of a nun. Thia I found a very tedioua duty ; but as I waa released in a great degree from the daily laboura uaually demanded of novicea, I felt little dispoaition to coroplaia "S/ JL idL RV. id it wu owinf to the holy wiif«r iVom from his kiic^a, and I hnd bwn toM, Uitt iting ut, if MTO go to •ina 0(1 our con- lelf for about a )'Mr the practice of the reception of a nun. luty; but aa I waa m the daily laboura felt little diapoaition CIIAPVER VI. TVW/if M« Veil.—t. ititltw nfltrxKtrd vUK tht SuptrUr. —SurprU- anu Horrur ul Iht lti»tiiMurt4. • Ifi^ululinn to &'ulimll. 1 WAi inlmdHccd into tho Supcrior'a room in the ovwiing preceding tho day '^n w hicli I wo» to '.uko the nil, to have an inltTvii'»v with tho Bishop. 'I'no Supvrior woa prtt, ur.d ihu inlirview Intted about half an hour. The Biahop on thia ni on other oc- caaions ajipcered to mo habitually tov^h in hia tnannera. Hia addreaa waa by no ineana prcpoa- aesaing. Befbre I took the veil, I waa ornamented for the c»'remony, and waa clothed in a rich drcae belonging to the Convent, which wns u8iecomin^ a nun ; and i be necessary from > have access to every cellar, where two of or causes which she informed, that one of e priests in all things; itter astonishment and tice of criminal inter- d some of the feelings :ed in me, which came ling : but the only ef- th me, in favour of the ;ue acceptable to God, Sriests, she said, wera ng forbidden to mar-, d, laborioui, and ^ . They might, indcidi BLACK NDNNSRY. 67 be coniidered our saviours, as without their services we could not obtain pardon of sin, and must go to helL Now, it was our solemn duty, on withdrawing from the world, to consecrate our lives to religion, to practise every species of self-denial. We could not become too humble, nor mortify our feelings too fur; this was to be done by opposing them, and nct- ' :?T 'contrary to them ; and what she proposed was, r ;• >re, pleasing in the sight of God. I now felt y loolish I had been to place myself in th« power of auch persons as were around me. From what she said I could draw no other con- clusion, but that I was required to act like the most abandoned of beings, and that all my future associ- ates were habitually guilty of the most heinous and detestable crimes. When I repeated my expressions of surprise and horror, she told me, that such feel- ings were very common at first, and that many other nuns had expressed themselves as ! did, who bad long since changed their minds. SUu even said, that on her entrance iato the nunnery, she had felt like me. Doubta, she declared, were among our greatest enemies. They would lead us to question every point of duty, and induce us to waver at every step. They aniae only from remaining imperfection, and were alwaj^ evidence of sin. Our only way was to dis- oMU. ti»em immediately, repent and confess them. Tktf were deadly sins, and would condenm us to 1 iii am a. 1;^ nv~' 58 BLACK NVNNKRY. hell, if we should die without confessing them. Priests, she insisted, could not sin. It was a thing impossible. Every thing; that they did, and wished, was of course right. She hoped I would see the reasonableness and duty of the oaths I was to take, and be faithful to them. She gave me another piece of information which excited other feelings in me, scarcely less dreadful. Infants were sometimes born in the convent: but they were always baptized and immediately stran- gled! This secured their everlasting happiness; for the baptism purified them from all sinAilness, 'and being sent out of the world before they had time to do any thing wrong, they were at once ad- mitted into heaven. How happy, she exclaimed, are those who secure immortal happiness to such liUle beings ! Their little souls would thank those who kill their bodies, if they had it in their power! Into what a place and omong what society had I been admitted ! How differently did a Convent now appear from what I had supposed it to be! The holy women I had always fancied the nuns to be, the venerable Lady Superior, what were they? And the priests of the Seminary adjoining, some of whom indeed I had had reason to think were base and profligate men, what were they all? I now learnt they were often admitted into the nunaery, and allowed to indulge in the greatest crimet. wHlkk they and others called virtuec? ru nn CO an pu mi thi wl; the n oIi( ace sati the pre 8ai( que of I mil whi thai dut^ Iki A onlj kne true fob !WdMfc« «teM4M.i£ji«s«i^t&ifcia«« J&km^ m fcRV. mt confessing them, sin. It was a thing they did, and wished, oped I would see the s oaths I was to take, of information which icarcely less dreadful, in the convent: but id immediately stran- rcrlasting happiness; I from all sinAilness, orld before they had ;hey were at once ad- lappy, she exclaimed, tal happiness to such lis would thank those liadit in their power! ng what society had I tly did a Convent now [wsed it to be! The incied the nuns to be, >r, what were they? iry adjoining, some of }n to think were base ere they all? I now ted into the nunnwy, greatest crimeit wl|ikh i' ^1 BLACK NUNNERY. 60 After having listened for some time lo iho Supe- rior alone, a number of the nuns were admitted, and took a free part in the conversation. They concurtq^jn every thing which she had told me, and repeated, without any signs of shame or com- punction, things which criminated themselves. I must acknowledge the truth, ond declare that all this had an effect upon my mind. I questioned whether I might not be in the wrong, and feh as if their reasoning might have some just foundation. I had been several years under the tuition of Cath- olics, and was ignorant of the Scriptures, and un- accustomed to the society, example, and convcr* sation of Protestants ; had not heard any appeal to the Bible as authority, but had been taught, both by precept and example, to receive as truth every thing said by the priests. I had not heard their authority questioned, nor anything said of any other standard of faith but their declarations. I had long been fa- miliar with the corrupt and licentious expressions which some of them use at confessions, and believed that other women were also. I had no standard of duty to refer to, and no judgment of my own which I knew how to use, or thought of using. All around me insisted that my doubts proved only my own ignorance and sinfulness; that they knew by experience they would soon give place to true knowledge, and an advance in religion ; and J felt swnething like indecision. * '"aifei* I m vV^sitfeviii waatt Ma M a tt aa^^ *"?^; i 09 DL4CK ?«VNNERY. Still, there wns so much that disgusted me in the discovery I had now mnfle, of the debased charac- ters around me, that 1 would most gladly hwre es- caped from the nunnery, and never reti^up^ But that was a thing not to be thought of. 1 t0f in their power, and this I deeply felt, while I thought there wna not one among the whole number of nuns to whom I could look for kindness. There was one, however, who began to speak to me at length in a tone that gained something of my confidence,— the nun whom I have mentioned before as distinguished by her oddity, Jane Ray, who made us so much amusement when I was a novice. Although, as I hAve remarked, there was nothing in her fiice, form, or manners, to give me any pleasure, she oddressed me with apparent friendliness; and while she seemed to concur with somethings spoken by ihem, took an opportunity to whisper a few words in my ear, unheard by them, intimating that I had better comply with every thing the Superior desirfjd, if I would save my life. I was somewhat alarmed be- fore, but I now became much more so, and deter- mined to make no further resistance. The Superior then ma ' repeat the three oaths; and when I had sworn ti. . " was shown into one of the com- munity roomi and remained some time with the nuns, who we. released from their usual smploy- ments, and enjo, ing a recreation day, on acconnl of the admission of i -lew sister. My feelings duriag .■ i^M i riwiilTrlv r'fi'« ATailSi'» l » (iiiiiii4^^i ^i i t>n il Wrr^'-'¥*^' ' \-, • SHY. ■ disgusted me in the thr dcbnaed charac- nost gladly hure ea< ever retiup^ But light of. 1 wpiif in felt, while I thought hole number of nuns L'ss. There was one, to me at length in b my confidence, — the ?fore as distinguished lo made us so much ice. Although, as I ling in her fiice, form, saaure, she addressed ss; and while she ings spoken by ihem, ir a few words in my ing that I had better Superior de8irf;d, if I omewhat alarmed be- h more so, and deter- tance. The Superior >c oaths; and when I I into one of the com- some time with the 1 their usual smpbjr* ion day, on acconni of My feeling* during JL-. . .,„,,. BLACK NUNN i.1k\. 61 the remainder of that day, I shall not attempt to de< »cribe ; but pass on to mertlion the ceremonies whllk. took place at dinner. This description nia«jrlye%i an idea of the manner in which we alwaySSptHf^ our meals, although there were some poinUin which the breakfast and supper were different. At 1 1 o'clock the bell rang for dinner, and the nuns all took their places in a double row, in tho same order as that in which they left tho chapel in the morning, except that my companion and myself were stationed at the end of the line. Standing thua for a moment, with aur hands placed one on the other orer the breast, and hidden in our large cuffs, with our heads bent forward, and eyes fixed on the floor; an old nun who stood at the door, clapped her hands as a signal for us to proceed, and the procession moved on, while we all commenced the repeUtion of Iftanies. We walked on in this order, repeating all the wttf until we reached the door of the dining-room, where we were divided into two lines; those on the right passing down one side of the long tabK and those on the left the other, till all were in, and each stopped in her place. The plates were all ranged, each with a knife, fork, and spoon, rdled up in a napkin, and tied round with a linen band marked with the owner's name. My own plate, knife, fork, Ac., were prepf,red like the rest, uid on die band around them I founii my new nanw wriHen:— « Saint Eustace.",. ...., ,^, ^^ 6 ^ ■'*^ ■ ■■ .. 1^^: •?4 '''>>»iii»ii!^*i^»kMi'<>.igmmm4^-m^m»»i:.'i 6« %tkCt NVMNKRV. Ther« we Mood till all had concludod the litany ', Witen the old nun, who had taken her place at the **^hea cept in the most brief manner. *■. '-f'liiWgiiiiilti .li^'iMi BHiirtiwiwiimiiiiiimiMiiiriiNf*'^ r !l! CHAPTER Vll. nally Cn-tmonltt-Jan* Ray otnonf tli* Nun*. On Thursday morning, the bell rung at half-part six to waken u«. The old nun who waa acting as night-wotch immediatfly spoke aloud " Voici le Seigneur qui vient." (Behold the Lord Cometh.) The nuns all responded : " Allons— y devant lui" (Let us go and meet him.) Wo then rose immediately, and dressed as expe- ditiously as possible, stepping into the passoge-way at the foot of our beds as soon as we were ready, and taking places each beside her opposite com- panion. Thus wo were soon drawn up in a double row the whole length of the room, with our hands folded across our breasts, and concealed m the broad cuffs of our sleeves. Not a word was uttered. When the signal was given, we ail proceeded to the community-room, which is spacious, and took our places in rows facing the entrance, near which the Superior was seated in a vergiere. We firrt >peated, " Au nom du Pere. du Fiw, «t do Saint Esprit— Ainsi soit il." (In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Qhoel— Amen.) c 11 i I c I 8 il II V il f( w » \ w II n & A «1 Ic til It w M MK iiftliin li r l l l l n i i ii ..Wa li^ai mAt ni. itnonf tK* Nun*. Msll rung: at half-part 1 who woa acting aa aloud : (Behold the Lord jod: jet us go and meet md dressed as expe- nto the passage-way n as we were ready, 8 her opposite com- Irawn up in a double jom, with our hands d concealed in the it a word was uttered. B ail proceeded to the gicious, and took our »nce, near which the ere. iduPere, duFilt,« I." (In the nama of dy Ghoat— Amen.) ■ LAOR NVNNIIIV. ••n* 00 We then kneeled and kiaaed the floor ; then, Mill on our knees, we said a very long prayer, begin* ning : Divin lesiis, Sauveur de mon Amo. (Divine Jesus. Saviour of my soul.) Then catne the Lord's prayer, three Hail Marya, four creeds, and five confessions, (confesse h Dieu ) Next we repeated the ten commandments. Then we repeated the Acts of Faith, aud a prayer to the Vir- gin in Latin, (which, like every thing else in Lat- in, I never understood a word of) Next we said the litaniea cf the holy name of Jesus, in Latin, which was afterward to be repeated several times in the course of the day. Then came the prayer for the beginning of the day ; then bending down, we commenced the Orison Mental, (or Mental Ori- son,) which laatod about an hour and a half. This exercise was considered peculiarly solemn. Wo were told in the nunnery that a certain saint was saved by the ase of it, as he never omitted it It consists of several parts ; First, the Superior read to us a chapter from a book, which occupied five minutes. Then profound silence prevailed for fifteen minutes, during which we were meditating upon it Then ahe read another chapter of equal length, on a different subject, and we meditated upon that another quarter of an hour ; and after a third reading and meditation, we finished (he ezerdae with a pn^er, called an act of contrition, in wlueh ■timeMa>»mt iiilhiiiiiMiai 66 BLACK NUNNRBV we aikod forgironeaa for the •in« comini;ieial order to the eating-room to breakfast, practising *be ■ame forms which Ihavodescribed %t dinner. Hav- ing made our meal in silence, v\d repeated tho Ut.*niea of the " holy name of Jesus" as we proceeded to .he community-room ; and such aa had not finished them on their arrival, threw themselves upt-i their knees, and remained there until they hac gone through with them, and then kissing the floor, roic again. At nine o'clock commence i the lecture, which waa read by a nun appointed to perfomi that duty that day ; all the rest of us in the room being «!• gaged in work. The nuns were at this time distribtted in iHhf ^ I c r b r c Si h tt C( pl tv h< th F w T d( m th th u ,-^*.MUt»i^&»ti^ — ~ I coinini;ien ninro uncomrort* I my hand* cla^iped, ■aid, with my hMd w« nil rone to the pi ail i] it'vcral pray- loviilcnct's, " provi- luwcd Q number of ited on thtf way to d ma»i daily, '.ceded in ouruiml kfast, practitinif *be >ed at dinner. I lav- repeated tho lil.oeh of the group*. At half-past tun the siloncc-bell rang, and this Cimversation instantly ceased, end tho recitiuion of some Latin prayers comniemcd, which continued half an hour. At eleven o'clock the dinner-bell rang, and then we proceeded to the dininjf-rooni, ond wont through the forms and ceremonies of the preceding day. Wo proceeded two by two. The old nun who had the command of us, clapped her hands ns the first cou- ple reached tho door, when we stopped. The first two dipped their fingers into the font, touched the holy water to the breast, forehead, and each aid*, thus forming a cross, said, " In the name of tK.. Father, Son, and Holy Qhost, Amen," and thea walked on to the dining-room, repeating the litaniea. The rott followed their example On reaching:' the door the couples divided, and the two rows ^4 nuns marching up, stopped and &ced the ts. !e against their plates. Thsre we stood, repeating the close of Um littny aloud. The old nun tl>en pronounced " fiBNimoiTV, ' ■ad w« sat down. One of our numbe.* began to read ..iu-Ji*^ m. ■,F';-, 0S BLACK NVNNXRT. a lecture, which continued during the whole meal : she etays to eat after the rest have retired. When we had dined, each of us folded up her napkin, and again folded her hands. The old nun then repeated a short prayer in French, and stepping aside from the head of the table, let us pass oat as we came in. Each of us boweo in passing the little chapel near the door, which is a glass-case, con- taining a waxen figure of the infant Jesus. When we reached the community-room we took our pla- ces in rows, and kneeled upon the hoor, while a nun read aloud. " Douleurs de nMre Sainte Marie," (the sorrows of our holy Mary.) At the end of each verse we responded " Ave Maria." We thcu re- peated again the litanies of the Providences, and the " Benissantb." Then we kissed the floor, and rising, took our woik, with leave to converse on permitted subjects ; this is what is called recreation till one oV:lock. We then began to repeat litanies, one at a tmie m Buccession, still engaged at sewing for an hour. At two o'clock commenced the afternoon leetnrea, which lasted till near three. At that hour on« of the nuns stood up in the middle of the room, and asked each of us a question out of the catechism; and such as were unable to answer correctly, were obliged to kneel down, until that exercise was coO- dnded, upon as many dry peas as there were ver- iM in tlia chapter, ont of which they w«r» qasi- IT. ig the wholemeal: ve retired. When ;d up her napkin, rhe old nun then neb, and stepping , let U8 pass out as in passing the little I a glass-casf, con- rant Jesus. When n we took our pla- e hoor, while a nun Sainte Marie," (the U the end of each ria." We thcu re- 'roTidences, and the . >* H id rising, took our I permitted subjects ; ion till one o'clock, ies, one at a time in ing for an hour, e afternoon leetares. At that hour one of lie of the room, and at of the catechism; iwer correctly, were at exercise was coo- IS as there were ver- ich they w«r» qoai- -t -, :^" BLACK NVNNBRY. 69 tioned. This seems like a penance of no great im- portance; but I havo sometimes kneeled on peas until I Sttfiered great inconvenience, and even pain. It soon Bakes one feel as if needles were running through the skin : whoever thinks it a trifle, had better try it. At four o'clock recreation commenced, when we were allowed, as usual, to speak to each other, while at work. At half-past four we began to repeat prayers in Latin, while we worked, and concluded about five o'clock, when we commenced repeating the " prayers for the examination of conscience," the " prayer after confession," the " prayer before sa- crament," and the " prayer after sacrament" Thus we continued our work until dark, when we laid it aside^ and began to go over the same praytis which we had repeated in the morning, with the exception of the orison mentale ; instead of that long exercise, we examined our consciences, to determine whether we had performed the resolution we had made in the morning ; and such as had kept it, re* peated an •* acte de joie" or expression of gratitude ; while such as had not, said an " acte de contrition." When the prajrers were concluded, any nun who had been disobedient in the day, knelt and asked pardon of the Superior and her companions " for the scandal she had caused them ;" and then re- qWBited the Superior to give her a penance to per* m i.,V! wif»a&ii»ait»m»A »-*t?*»-*r ro BLACK NONNERT. form. When all the penances had been imposed, we all proceeded to the eating-room to supper, re- peating litanies on the way. At supper the ceremonies were the same as at dinner, except that there was no lecture read. We ate in silence, and went out bowing to the chapelle, and repeating litanies. Returning to the commu- nity-room which we had left, we had more prayers to repeat, which are called La couronne, (crown,) which consists of the following parts: 1st, Four Paters, ' jli* vv «> o»*» ,> 2d, Four Aye Mariaa, n a te -i *i V 8d, Four Gloria Pfttria, ■ - it,<«-i' 4th, Benissez, Santeys. '& tha close of these we kissed the floor ; after which we had recreation till half-past eight o'clock, being allowed to converse on permitted subjects, but closely watched, and not allowed to sit in comers. At half-past eight a bell was rung, and a chapter was read to us, in a book of meditations, to employ oar minds upon during our waking hours at night. Standing near the door, we dipped our fingers in the holy water, crossed and blessed ourselves, and proceeded up to the sleeping-room in the usual o^ der, two by two. When we had got into bedi we xei^aled a prayer beginning with : " Hon Dieu, je vons donne men coBar,** v-'i » My God,Igiveyoumy hetirt;" /, •ind then an old nnn, bringing eome My wiMfi »] a^ w 01 m th w a in an fr( lei m( wc ti.9 g« ae( not plo dyj sev an( of to sOe Wll T. had been imposed, room to supper, re- ere the same aa at lecture read. We ing to the chapelle, ling to the commu- 3 had more prayers couronne, (erowo,) parts: teys. led the floor ; after f-past eight o'clock, rmitted subjects, but ed to sit in comers. rung, and a chapter ditations, to employ (ing hours at night. ipped our fingers in !ssed ourselves, and om in the usual o^ ad got into bedf w« h: men caBur,** heart;" I KWM hoAj ■■■^'-x -.i- -^ ' M^^t ' i^ uj_i^,.j BLACK NUNNERY. m 71 sprinkled it on our beds to drive away the devil, ^ while we took some and crossed ourselves again. At nine o'clock the bell rung, and all who were awake repeated a prayer, called the oifrande ; those who were asleep, were considered as excused. After my admission among the nuns, I had more opportunity than before, to observe the conduct of mad Jane Ray. She behaved quite differently from the rest, and with a degree of levity irreconcilable with the rules. She was, as I have described her, a large woman, with nothing beautiful or cttractive in her face, form, or manners ; careless in her drew, and of a restless disposition, which prevented her from steadily applying herself to any thing for any length of time, and kept her roving about, and al most perpetually talking to somebody or other. It would be very difficult to give an accurate descrip- tion of this singular wtfman ; dressed in the plain garments of the nuns, bound by the same vows, and accustomed to the same life, resembling them in nothing else, and frequently interrupting all their em- ploymento. She was apparently almost always stu- dying or pursuing some odd fimcy ; now rising from sewing, to walk up and down, or straying m from another apartment, looking about addressing some ^ of u% and passing out again, or saying soaethiog to make us laugh, in perktds of the most profound silence. But what showed that ahe was no novelty, WM the little attentun paid to her, and the levity n BLACK NUNNERY. with which she was treated by the old nuns; eren the Superior every day passed over irregularities in this singular person, which she would have punished with penances, or at least have met with reprimands, in any other. From what I saw of her I soon per- ceived that she betrayed two distinct traiu of char- acter ; a kind disposition towards such as she chose to prefer, ands^ pleasure in teasing those she dislik- ed, or such as had offended her. vi I hi't *i 41 .; >:,/. -;■■:..• .'''■•"'1 '■■' ' V'-' H-'^:'''^ : ; 'i^-i^ ;'- ■ • v;-''' ;■'--■ """^ -•,■■':"' *r^-^jf if! "-;^'. ^" •;*.-' ■•■■■^^/'-^■'•v" '^:^/'--:^yi'i • ^ '. m'tr- ■:.'-iiv:ilt^r:-l:i 'sl^M^^ f ,^^'-.4 1 .■■rfn > ■,• .rf^o.,.;yv^r6'.'^-»i^eMiaiJs: Y. he old nuni; eren er irregularities in ould have punished St with reprimands, of her I soon per- tinct traits of char- I such as she chose ig those she dislik' 'It'? •' ' ■•' ■ A' '1 *•> CHAPTER VIII. yuyriMimi^ApartmmU in tk« BUuk JVyniury. in urd«r.^ lit Floor-^ Uoar-Oarrtt-Tk* Fitmdtt-Sitptrior't Managtmtnl wUK Vu FSritndt t^f Notiett-RMtiM Um-' CrtminatUt««i«i>MieitwiAriMiMii^^ ..•HMP-.-^jlB-f««''"l«?!-"rr 1,^ '^ ■ fl ■LACK RCNNIRr dMcription, knowing that time may possibly throw open those secret recesses, and allow the entrance of those who can satisfy themselves, with their own eyes, of its truth. Some of my declarations may bo thought deficient in evidence; and this they must of necessity be in the present slate of things. But here is a kind of evidence on which I rely, as I see how unquestionable and satisfactory it must prove, whenever it shall be obtained. If the interior of the Black Nunnery, whenever It sImU be examined, is materially different from the following description, (hen I eon claim no confidence of my readers. If it resembles it, they will, I pre- sume, place confidence in some of those declarations, on which, I may never be corroborated by true and living witnesses. I am sensible that great changes maybe made in -**e furniture of apartments^ thi:t new walls may b« constructed, or old ones removed; and I have been credibly informed, that masona have been employed in the Nimnery, since I left it. I wel! know, be w- circr, that entire changes cannot be made; and that enough must remain as it was to substantiate my description, whenever the truth shall be known. T%e First Story. Beginning at the extremity of the western wing of the convent, towards Notre Dame^reet, on th* first story, there is— list. The Nuns' private chapel, adjoining wliidi I .-Mwrigi»airife:<aiii«WM t MBa a M ^ ^ U e. V( S( ai fi: to pi wi sli th( Su to ro< P» COI "»« ac in I the wfa toi mm oor < mny possibly throw allow the entroDco ivcs, with their own declarationa may bo and this they must ate of things. But which I rely, as I factory it must prove, >funnery, whenever ly different from the claim no confidence I it, they will, I pre- )f thoae declaratioDS, >borated by true and igesmaybeniadein :t new walls may b« sd; and I have been hare been employed I well know, be w- the made; and that I to aubstantiate my shall be known. try. >f the western wing Dame-street, on the pel, adjoining wlikJi ■ tACE NUNKERT. 75 is a passage to a small projection of the building, eitending from the upper story to the ground, with very small windows. Into the passage we were sometimes required to bring wood from the yard, and pile it up for use. 2■ \'S> IT. called the room for kvhich I had viaM >f iho Superior, and mally reaorted to ra in preparation for d tranagraaaad aomo I waa hardly large peraona at a time, community-room for yard, and thence to Btreet pig-room, flronting on idowa, and a atore- . There it b« little r leada into what 1 muina many figurea There we aome' 3n the Savioui'a pai- I the main building; aage, with cnpboarda lored crockery-wiM, ticlea of table ftimi It or broken— all of , ahoTola, tonga, *c a few benehea, Ae. in the alreet Have >pt, and peraaM frete •LACK NVNNMT. If often admitted on buaineaa, or to obtain medicinea with tickata firom the prieau; and waited till the Superior or an old nun could be aent for. Beyond thia room we were never allowed to go; and I can* not apeak from peraonal knowledge of what cama Tkt Steond Sttry. Beginning, aa before, at the weMem extremity of the north wing, but on the aeeond atory, the fartheat apartment in that direction which I ever entered waa — lat Thanuna' alaeping-room, or dormitoir«<), which 1 have already deacribed. Here ia an acceaa to the projection mentioned in apeaking of the firat atory. The ataira by which we came up to bed are at the fiirther end of the room ; and near them a crucifix and font of holy water. A door at the end of th« room opena into, a paoaage, with two email room% and duaeta between them, containing bedclothoa. NoEt you enter — Sd. A email community-room, beyond which ia • ppMige with a narrow atoireaae, aeldom oaed, whick laodi into the fourth community-room, in tha firat •toiy. Following the poaaage juat mentioiMd, yon mtm by a door— Sd. A little aitting-roook fumiahed in the fellow* iag manner: with ehaira, a aofii, on the n^ith aide, . wewred with a red-figured cover and fringe, a table i» tht middle^ commonly bearing one or two bo<4uk ?• i^abi ..I i li ■ ■.^^^Y | - f niT-iWi ia n' i iiiw ji ii i ■LACK NOifNBIIT. •n inkstand, ^enx Ac, At one corner ia a little projection into the room, cauMd uy a itaircate lead- ing from above to the floor below, without any com- munication with the lecond Mory. Thit room hat ■ door opening upon a staircaie leading down to the yard, on the opposite aide of which it a gate opening into the cross ttreet. By this way the phy* aician it admitted, exc«|it when ho comes later than utual. When he cornea in, he usually sits a little while, until a nun goes into the adjoining nuns' sick-room, to see if all is ready, and returns to ad- mit him. After prescribing for the patients he goes no farther, but returns by the way he enters ; and these two are the only rooms into which he is ever admitted. 4th. The nuns' sick*room adjoinathe little sitting- room on the east, and has, I think, four windows towards the north, with beds ranged in two rows from end to end, and a few more between them, near the oppoaite extremity. The door from the sittings room swings to the left, and behind it is a table, while a glass case, on the right, contains a wax figure of the infant Saviour, with aoTeral aheep. Near the northeastern corner of tjiis room are two doors, one of which opens into a long and naneir passage, leading to the head of the greiU staircase that conducts to the cross street. By this passage the physician sometimes finds his viray to the sick> room, when he comes later than usual. He ringt th « "1 til ed on P" oc lit] H da ot) coi pr. PS wii is! ao( tol ttd «u trsi 104 A( "'«!-. b■'^iui.•->^^^^f^>llh■^^Mi«&t*l^i^'X^^>^»»^Jl l l ^^mh^ l £ iS fi! RT. le cornfr it k little uy a MaircftM leid- V, without any com- y. This room hai n leading down to of which it a gate ly this way the phy- ho comes later than ! usually siti a little he adjoining nuna' r, and roturnii to ad* the patienta he goea way he enters ; and ito which he it ever oinathe little utting- hink, four windows "onged in two rows t between then, near t>or from the sittings lehind it is a table, [ht, contains m wax with seTeral sheep. ' tjiis room are two ) a long and nane«r r the gretu staircase t. By this pusig* lis way to the sick> n ustial. He ringt BLAOI NVNNIIIT. 79 the bell at »he gate, which I was told had a conceal- ed pull, known or/!y to him and the priesu, proceeds up-auira and through the passage, rapping three times at the door of the sickroom, which is open- ed by a nun in attendance, after she has given one rap in reply. When he has visited hi« patients, and prescribed for them, he returns by th« same way. 6th. Next beyond this sickroom, is a large un- occupied apartment, half divided by two partial par- titions, which leave an open spuca in the middle. Hero some of the old nuns commonly meet in th« daytime. fltb. A door from this apartment opens into an- other, not appropriated to any particular use, bu» containing a tab|e, where medicines are sometimes prepared by an old nun, who is usually found there. Fusing through this room, you enter t passage, with doors on its four sides : that on the left, which is kept fostened on the inside, leada to the stairci^sa and gate; that in front to private siek-rooms. soon to ba described. 7tb. That on the right leads to another, appropria* ltd to nuns suflering with the most loathsome dia- •sse. There were usually a number of straw mat* trsesss in that room, as I well knew, having helped to ssrry tbcm in after theyardman had filled them. A door beyond enters into a store-room, whieh ea- londs also beyond this apartment. On the ri^t, «^*&! 'iL Is*: ■»Mi;««4«WUtfU5KHMWni*«3«>^JlWM««)i.A^ttKW<»Mi*, •0 ■LAOC NONNBKV. another door o|Mna into tnothor puMgc, croMing which, you tnttr by a door— 6ih. A room with a b«d and lerctn in one comar. on which nunt wara laid to ba axaminad bafo*^ thair introduction into tha aick-room laat mantlonad. Another door, oppoaita tha former, opane into a paasagfe, in which ia a etaircaaa laadinff down. 0th. Beyond this ia a spare room, •ometim'^ uavd to Mora appkM, boiaa ofdiflarant things, Ac. lOth. Returning now to the paaaaga which opens on one side upon the staira to the gate, we entrr tha only remaining door, which leada into an apart* ment uaually occupied by some of the old none, and fraqoantly by the Superior. 1 1th. and 13ih. Beyond thia are two mora sick* rooms, in one of which thoaa nuns sUy who are waiting their accouchement, and in the other, thoia who have paased it. 18th. The next ia a small aitting-room, where a prieat waits to baptise the inflinta previous to their murder. A passage leada from this room, on tha leik, by the doors of two succeeding apartment^ neither of which have I aver entered. 14th. The first of them is the '• holy retreat," or room occupied by the priests, while suflcring with the penalty of their licentiousness. ISth. The other ia a sitting-room, to which tkay have accaas. Beyond thaaa tha pasaage leads to tv ri i'< •i t)i ol «( ri I' fl ic K il a k b ti A cl 8 I u b .*.:' [i)w^»AW'jft^-^r ;[»vW.'>« V. *.-<»^ii>ai'wj^»iy«-. ^ tft i fa ijit w ii tfa MK fia fa«fc. r pMMgc, croMing erctn in one eorn«r. M tumincd b«fo'«> Dom \un montioaMl. mer, op«nt into a leading dovrn. om, •omelim'^ i»vd t thinga, Ac. Maago which open* the gate, wa antrr laada into an apart* oftha old nana, and am two mora aiek* nuna stay who are d in the other, thoio tting-room, where a ita preTioua to their n thia room, on the eeeding apartmeoti^ itered. I " holy retreat," or vhile Buffering with IM. vera, to which tkay M paaaage leada to •tACR KVNXKftV. II two rooms, contsini'ig clotet* for the itorage of va* ricu« qrtielea, and t\v<^ othe ra whrrr persona are re* i'Cii'cd who Gomr on butinfu. The public hospitals succeed, and extend a eon* siderabla distance, 1 believe, to the extremity ul the building. By a public entrance in that part, p,irtts nften come into the Nunnery ; and I hare often seen seine rif tiiem iherrnbouts, who must have entered by ihot way. Indeed, priests often get into the " holy tflrrr.t" without exposing themselves to the view of f^/sons in other parts of the Convent, and have been fir»t Unown to be there, by the yard-nuns being sent to :ho Seminary for their clothes. Tho Congregational Nunner}' was founded by a run ja*l«d Sister Bourgeoisa. She taught a school iiv ATontreal, and left property for the foundation of a Convent. Her body is buried, and her heart is kept, under the Nunnery inan iron chest which baa been ahown to me, whh the 'assurance that it con* tinuea in perfect preaervation, ahbough sh*: haa bean dea«i mora than one hundred and fifty ycirs. In the chapel is the following inscription: "Sotur Bour* geoise, Fondatrice du Convent." Sister Bourgffoise, Fotinier of t!ie Convi,nc. ^iotbing waa mora common than for the Superior to step haatily into oar coiranunity-rooms, whilo nam* ben of ua worettsembled there, and haatily eoitnnu* oicate bar wiahes in wotit) UVa thaae :— > if i '^^■t^jiit^^i^k^ >• fM¥^'t: * H* K i f ^-var ".-s*. m •8 RLACK NVKNERV. *' Here are the parents of such a novice : come with 7)6, and bear me out in this story." She would then mention the outlines of a tissue of falsehoods, she had just invented, that we might be prepared to fabricate circumstances, and throw in whatever else miglit favour the deception. This was justified, and indeed most highly commended, by the system of faith in which we were instructed. It was a common remark always at the initiatioii of a new nun into the Black nun department, that is, to receive the black veil, that the introduction of another novice into the Convent as a veiled nun, ol- ways caused the introduction of a veiled nun into heaven as a saint, which was on account of the ain> fular disappearance of some of the older nuns al* urays at the entrance of new ones I To witness the scenes which often occurred be- twe«p us and strangers, would have struck a person very jfowerfully, if he had known how truth was set ■t nattght The Superior, with a serious and dig- uified air, and a pleasant voice and aspect, would commence a recital of things most farourable to the character of the absent novice, and representing her as equally fond of her situation, and beloved by the other inmates. The tale told by the Superior, what- ever it was, however unheard before might have been any of her statements, ^as then attested by ua, who in every way we could think of, endeavoured to confirm her declarations, beyond the reach of douUL to hi W( P« "I cv al pa Or ah lie wl to "V cm pr« for ho( for pal toh me An one me AfA^iMm^^amiiWmi&^bsm- IT :rv. ich a novice : come story." She would tiiisueof falsehoods, I might be prepared throw in whatever This was justified, >nded, by the system jcted. /ays at the initiatioii mn department, that t the introduction of as a veiled nun, ol- )f a veiled nun into I account of the sin- r the older nuns al* si i often occurred he- lave struck a person '11 how truth was set a serious and dig- and aspect, would }st fat'ourable to the nd representing her and beloved by the the Superior, what- before might have then attested by ua, k of, endeavoured to I the reach of douUt. BLACK NVNNERT. n Sometimes the Superior would intrust the man- agement of such a case to some of the nuns, whether to habituate us to the practice in which she was so highly accomplished, or to relieve herself of what would have been a serious burden to most other persons, or to ascertain whether she could depend upon us, or all together, I cannot tell. Often, how. ever, have I seen her throw open a door, and say, in a hurried manner, " Who can tell the best story?" One point, on which wo received frequent and particular instructions was, the nature of fiilsehoods. On this subject I have heord mony a speech, I had almost said many a sermon ; and I was led to be- lieve that it was one of great importance, one on which it was a duty to be well informed, as well as to act. "What I" exclaimed a priest one doy— " what, a nun of your age, and not know the differ- ence between a wicked and a religious lie I" He then went or., as bad been done many times previously in my hearing, to show the essential dif- ference between the two different kinds of fiilse- hoods. A lie told merely for the injury of another, for our own interest alone, or for no object at all, ho painted as a sin worthy of penance. But a lie told for the good of the church or Convent, was meritorious, and of course the telling of it a duty. And of this class of lies there were many variftiea and shades. This doctrine hae been inculcated on me and my companions in the nunnery, more times 1. :i ti ■ ; ;■ ' I >fi (rtW i w ft h wfi fa^i lrtJBa«&fa*'..*K9*'^ 3*M»nw«i»j.*r M ■ LACK MtNNERT. 1 ,<^ than I cull enumerate ; and to ray that it was gcner* ally rereived, would be to tell a part of the truth. We often saw the practice of it, and were frequently made to take part in it. Whenever any thing which the Superior thought important, could be most con- veniently accomplished by falsehood, she resorted to it without Ecruple. There was a class of cases, in which she more frequently relied on deception than any other. The friends of novices frequently applied at the Convent to see them, or at least to inquire after their welfare. It was common for them to be po- litely refused an interview, on some account or other, generally a mere pretext; and then the Superior usually sought to make as fiivourable an impression OS possible on tho visiters. Sometimes she would make up a story on the spot, and tell the strangers ; requiring some of us to confirm it, in the most con- vincing way we could. At other times she would prefer to make over to us the task of deceiving, and we were commended in proportion to our ingenuity and success. Some nun usually showed her submission, by iin> mediately stepping forward. She would then add, perhaps, that the parents of such a novice, whom she siamed, were in waiting, and it was necessary that they ahould b* told such, and such, and such things. To perform so difficult a task well, was '•onsidered a, difficult duty, and it \^ one of the most certain V V n h J> til si th w to w w! •h ru ini to str fro nei £iv wo inc eyt wo SW( alvs pre thii '^*^-«iid*^i*^-':*^e*ife!i»Kiv.-^K5ttft^rM^-¥^^'4^^ ly that it was gcner* 1 a pan of tho truth, and were frequently ever any thing which t, could be most con- ihood, she resorted to in which she more han any other, 'equently applied at least to inquire after )n for them to be po> ome account or other, 1 then the Superior urable an impression jmetimes she would [id tell the strangers ; n it, in the most con- refer to make over to ve were commended and success, er submission, by Im* She would then add, fi a novice, whom she t was necessary that iich, and such things, well, was ''onsidered e of the most certain BLACK NU.NNERY. 85 ways to gain the favour of the Superior. Whoever volunteered to make a story on the spot, was sent im- mediately to tell it, and the other nuns present were hurried off with her under strict injunctions to uphold her in every thing she might state. The Superior, as there was every reason to believe, on all such occa- sion* when she did not herself appear, hastened to the apartment adjoining that in which the nun.i were going, thereto listen through the thin partition, to hear whether all performed their parts aright. It was not uncommon for her to go rather further, when she wanted time to give such explanations as •ho could have deaired. She would then enter ab- ruptly, ask, " Who can tell a good story this morn- mg ?" and hurry us off without a moment's delay, to do our best at a venture, without waiting for in- structions. It Avould be curious, could a stranger from the " wicked world" outside the Convent, wit- ness such a scone. One of the nuns, who ffu k a fitvourable humor to undertake the proposed task would step promptly forward, and signify he? in*3» iness in the usual way : by a knowing wink ^- o«« eye, and a slight toss of the head. " Well, go and do the best you can," the Srperior would siiy ; " and all the rest of you must mind ai^d swear to it" The latter part of the order, at least, was always performed ; for in every su. h case, alllJje uuns present appeared as unanimous witnesses of every thinjr that was uttered by the spokesman of the day. 3?^ ■^ia^-. mi M HLACR NVNNKRT. We were constantly hearing it repeated, that we must never again look upon ourselves as our own ; but must remember, that we were solemnly and ir* rcvocably devoted to God. Whatever was required of us. wo were called upon to yield under the most solemn considerations. I cannot speak on every particular with equal freedom ; but 1 wish my read- ers clearly to understand the condition in which we were placed, and the means used to reduce us to what vre had to submit to. Not only were we required to perform the several tasks imposed upon us at work, prayers, ami penances, under the idea that wo were performing solemn d'Uies to our Maker, but every thing else which was required of us, we T-rere con- stantly told, was something indispensable in his sight. The Priests, we admitted, were the servants of God, specially appointed by his authority, to teach us our duty, to absolve us from sin, and to lead us to hea- ven. Without their assistance, we had allowed we could never onjoy the favour of God; unless they administered the sacraments to us, we could not en- joy everlasting happiness. Having consented to acknowledge all this, we hadl no objection to urge against admitting any other demand that might be made for or by them. If we thought an act ever so criminal, the Superior would tell us that the priests Scted under the direct sanction of God, and eotld not sin. Of course, then, it could not bo wrong to comply Avith any of their requests, because tliey e b ti 01 b 1> lii ol ■( w w of sti }h so wi on •P '■'5.* ^--ii^/^^m^v'^'S.i'i'- •^"•■jAvSf.^S^^iV^-Ji^wi^si^J BLACK NVNNSRT. 87 t repeated, that we lelves as our own ; re solemnly and ir* itevor was required ield under the most ot speak on every )ut 1 wish my read- idition in which we lo reduce us to what vera we required to ed upon us at work, e idea that we were r Maker, but every of us, we were con- pensablein his sight, the servants of God, rity, to teach us our id to lead us to hea- we had allowed v^e r Qod; unless they US, we could not en- laving consented to no objection to urge mand that might be ought an act ever ao ;11 us that the priesU n of God, and eouid juld not bo wrong to quests, because tl»ey could not demand any thing but what was right. On the contrary, to refuse to do any thing they asked, would necessarily be sinful. Such doctrines ad- nitted, and sucii practices performed, it will not 'ieem wonderful when I mention that wc often folt •omething of their preposterous character. Sometimes we took pleasure in ridiculing some of the favourite themes of our teachers ; and I recol- Isct one subject particularly, which at one period afforded us repeated merriment. It may seem irrev- erent in me to give the account, but I do it to show how things of a solemn nature were sometimes treated in the Convent, by women bearing the title of saints. A Canadian novice, who spoke very broken English, one day remarked that she was performing some duty " for the Go«l." This pecu- liar expression had something ridicu'oiTR to the ears of some of us ; and it was soon repented ajjain ard again, in application to various ceremonies which we hmlto perform. Mad Jane Ray .seizr»d upon it witli avidity, and with her aid it soon took the place of a by-word in conversation, so that we were con- •tantly reminding each other, that we were doing ihia and that thing, how trifling and unmeaning ■CMjver, " for the Goil." Nor did we stop here : when the Superior called upon us to bear witness to one of her religious lies, or to fabricate the most apurious one the time would admit; to save her the trouble we were sure to be reminded, on our il<»aifc!B'»..«^Aa6«.<,4i^^„ 19 niACX NVN'NBRY. way to the ouaftffcr's ro6rn> thot we were doing it " for the Gi'd,'' And so it was when other things were mcntioned—cvei , jhing which belonged to our condition, was spoUen vf its similar terms. I have hardly dtnained the rtader long enough on this subjiect. to give him a just impression of the stroM laid on conftssicn. It is one of the great points to ^vhich our attention was constantly direct- ed. We were directed to keep a strict and constant watch over our thoughts ; to have continually be- fore our minds, the rules of the Convent, to compare the one with the other, remember every devotion, and tell all, even the smallest, at confession, either to the Superior, or to the priest. My mind was thus kept in a continual state of activity, which proved very wearisome ; and it required the constant exer- tion of our teachers, to keep us up to the practico they inculcated. Another talc recurs to me, of those which were frequently told us to make us feel the importance ol unreserved confession. A nun of our Convent, Avho had hidden some sin from her confessor, died suddenly, and without any one to confess her Her sisters assembled to pray for the peace of her soul, when she appeared, jid informed them, that it would be of no use. but rather foublesome to her, as her pardon was impoB sible. The doctrine is, that prayers made for s^ilt guilty of unconlessed sin, do but sink them de^r .) iiM*'ilf'iltimSilX^lliMSM>Util!- Y. t wc were doing it when other things which belonged to similar Xcttnn. tader long enough St impression of the s one of the great IS constontly direct- n strict ond constant ittve continually be- IJonvent, to compare ber every devotion, it confession, either My mind was thus ivity, which proved d the constant exer> s up to the practice r those which were el the importance ol lad hidden some sin ieniy, and without sisters assembled to when she appeared, Id be of no use, but r pardon was impos tyers made for sqnk fut sink them de^r BLAOB NUNNERY. 89 in hell ; and this is the reason I have heard given for not praying for Protestants. The authority of the priests in every thing, and the enormity of every act, which opposes it, were also impressed upon our minds, in various ways, by our teachers. A " Father" told us the following story, one day at catechism, A man on^e died who had failed to pay some money which the priest had asked of him; he was cond amned to be burnt in purgatory until he should pay it, but had permission to conie back to this world, and take a human body to work in. He made his appearance therefore again on earth, and hired himself to a rich man as a labourer. He worked all day, with the fire burning in him, un- seen by other peo{»le ; but while he was in bed that night, a girl in an adjoining room, perceiving the smell of brimstone, looked through a crack in the wall, and saw him covered with flames. She in- formed his master, who questioned him the next morning, and found that his hired man was secretly sufienng the pains uf purgatory, for neglecting to pay a certain sum of money to the priest. He, therefore, furnished him the amount due ; it was paid, and the servant went off immediately to heav- en. The priest cannot forgive any debt due unto him, because it is the Lord's estate. ^hile at confession, I was urged to hide nothing firom the priest, and have been told by them, that # •• --(pf Mte<. »v*it*&aiiJJK. -!*«»«.*?■»» ■r 00 BLACK NITMKHV. they alrcody knew wliat was in my heart, but would pot tell, because it wos necessary for me to confess it. I really beiir.-ved that the priests were acquainted with my thoughts ; and often stood in great awe of them. They often told mo they had power to strike roe dead at any moment. V T!* .,'m: '*•{ ^%' '•' HS»«Mt)Wi^^ll&i K'JU^i™ M ■ LACK NONNIRT. p«rtor and tha old nuni ; and this I diicovered wu ^tf^ done io order to render them at well contented and happy in their tituation aa pouibie; and ahould have attributed the motivea for thia partiality to their wiahtng, that they might not influence othora to keep away, had I not known, they were like our aelvea, unable to exert aurh an influence. And therefore, I could not aatiafy my own mind why thi* difllerence waa made. Many of the Indiana were remarkably devoted to the prieata, believing every thing they were taught ; and aa it ia repreaented to be not only a high honour, bnt a real advantage to ^ a ftmily, to havo one of ita membera become a nun, Indian parenta will oAen pay large auma of money, for the admiaaion of their daughtera into a convent. The lather of one of the aquawe, I waa told, paid to the Superior nearly her weight in ailver on her re- ception, although he waa obliged to aell nearly all hia property to raiae the money. Thia he did vol- unurily, becauae he thought himaelf overpaid by having the advantage of her prayers, aelf-aaerifi- cea. Ac. for himaelf and the r«maiii(l«r of hia fiimily. The oquawa aometimes oerved to amuae us; for when we were partially diapiriled or gloomy, tha Superior would occasionally aend them to dress themaelvea in their Indian garments, which asoally elicited us to merriment Among the squaw nuns whom I particularly !•> . membsr. was one of the Saints Hyppolits% not Um .d^iiddMie • I diacorered wu wtll contented and iiible; and ahould this partiality to )t influence othora :hey were like our t influence. And )wn mind why thi* ' the Indians were [8, believing every t is represented to real advantage to ers become a nun, je sums of money, ers into a convent. I was told, paid to 1 silver on her re* I to sell nearly all This he did vol- nself overpaid by myert, self-saerifi- Oder ofhisfiimily. to amuse us; for sd or gloomy, tha ad them to drsM nts, which anmlly I particularly !•> . ff yppolitt% not th* -f^- n [ ■ LACX NVNNKRV. one who figitrod in a dreadful sccnf, desei . . m nnothcr part of ihis narrative, but a woman of a fur more mild and humane character. Three or four dnyii after my reception, the Su- perior sent me into the cellar for coal; ond *ftcr ilio had given me directions, I proccodeil down a stair- cn«e, with a lamp in my hond. I soon found my- self upon the bare cnrth, in a spaciutis place, so dark, that I could not at once distinguish its form, or size, but I observed thnt it had very solid stono wails, nnd was arched overhead, at no great eleva- tion. Following my directions, I proceeded on' wards from the foot of the stairs, where appeared to be one end of the cellar. After walking about fifteen paces, I passed three small doors, on the right, fastened with large iron bolts on the outside, pushed into posts of stono work, and each having a small opening above, covered with a flne grating, secured by a smaller bolt. On my left, were three similar doors, resembling these, and placed opposite them. Beyond these, the ' space became broader ; the doors evidently closed small compartments, pro- jecting from the outer wall of the cellar. I soon stepped upon a wooden floor, on which wore heaps of wool, coarse linen, and other articles, apparently deposited there for occasional use. I soon crossed tha -floor, and found the bare earth again under my feet. m % ■LACK XCNNIir. 4| k y, k' A little funher on, I found tb« ctlUr ignin cnn^ tractwl in aixe, by ■ row of cIomm, or •imllflr com- partmoM projecting on eech side. Thete were doeed ^y door* of a different deecription from the firtt, haring a aimple fealening, and no opening throvh them. JuM beyouJ, on the leA tide, I pasaed a Maircaie leading up, and then three doors, much reecmbling , thoM first described, standing opposite three more, on the other side of the cellar. Having passed, there, I found the cellar again enlarged as before, and here the earth appeared as if mixed with some whitish substance, which attracted my attention. As I proceeded, I found the whiteness increase, until the surface looked almost like snow, and in a short time I observed before me, a hole dug so deep into the earth that I could perceive no bottom. I stopped to observe it. — It was circular, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet across ; in the middle of the cellar, and unprotected by any kind of curb, so that one might easily have walked into it, in the dark. The white substance which I had observed, was spread all over the surface around it ; and lay in such quantity on i^l sides, that it seemed aa if a great deal of it must have been thrown into the hole. It immediately occurred to me that the white substance was lime, and that tliia must be the pkea where the inbnts were buried, after being murdmred, as the Superior had informed me. I knew that Una k r ■ V. t« ctllar igain cnn- «(f, or imaller com- •idff. Th«M woro dMcription from tho ig, and no opaning I pautd a itaircaM «, much rMcmbling . ppoiita ihreo more, r. Having paaaed, enlargad aa beforv, if mixed %vith some led my attention. whiiencsa increaae, t like uiow, and iii me, a hole dug ao perceive no bottom. aa circular, perhapa I the middle of the kind of curb, 80 that nto it, in the dark. I had obaerved, waa tund it; and lay in it it aeemed •■ if a len thrown into the to me that the whit* ia mutt ba the pkoa Her being mardared, I. I knew that Una »».iii iii«ir' ^id IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT.3) 1.0 I.I 2.0 1.8 1 1.25 1.4 1.6 ^ 6" ^ (^ '2^^V# 7 Photographic Sciences Corporation S: 4 •sss \ V <^ ^ v ■^>^. CS^ ^ 23 WfST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, NY. MS80 (716) 872-4503 5i' #p fe< CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHIVI/ICIVIH Collection de microfiches. Canadian Institute for Historical Microreproductions / Institut Canadian de microreproductions historiques I I «LACB NVNNERY. M w often uwd by Romnn Catholica in burying-placM; and in this way I accounted for iu being scattered about the spot in such quantities. This was a shocking thought to me; but I can hardly tell how it affected me, as I had already been prepared to expect dreadful things in the Convent, and had undergone trials which prevented me from feeling as I should formerly have done in similar circumstances. I passed the spot, therefore, with distressing thoughts, it is true, about the little corpses, which might be in that secret burying-place. but with rc^* ollections also of the declarations which I had heard, about the &vour done their souls by sending them straight to heaven, and the necessary virtu* accompanying all the actions of the priests. Whether I noticed them Qr not, at the time, there is a window or two on each, nearly against the hole, in at which are sometimes thrown articles brought to them from without, for the use of the Convent Through the window on my right, which opens into the yard, towards the cross street, lime is re- ceived from carts ; and I then saw a large heap of it near the place. Passing the hole, I came to a spot where was another projection on cacli side, with three cells like those I first described. Beyond them, in another broad part of the cellar, were heaps of vegetablec, and other thinge: on the right and on the left, I found rf^mi^fi^^m»Si^i^^i^m.imiiiiivsu^ri^ M BLACK NVNNERr. 1^. the charcoal I was in search of. This was place served, near a small high window, like the rest, at which it is tlirownin. Beyond this spot, at a short distance, the cellar terminated. The top quite to that point, is arched overhead, though at diiTerent heights, for the earth on the bot- tom is uneven, and in some places, several feet high- er than in others. Not liking to be alone in so spacious and gloomy a part of the Convent, especially afler the discovery I had m?dc, I hastened to fill my basket with coal, and to return. Here then I was, in a place which I had consid- ered as the nearest imitation of heaven to be found on earth, among a society where deeds were con- stantly perpetrated, which I had believed to be most crimin-\l, and had now found the place, in which harmless infants were unfeelingly thro^vn out of sight, after being murd ses, several feet high- spacious and gloomy y oder the discovery ny basket with coal, which I had consiU> ' heaven to be found ere deeds were con- d believed to be most the place, in which ingly thro^vn out of if instruction and ex- is many around me ighteous and proper, to believe it, for the was done by pri«Ma. 1 received from the d me to admit priests it at irregular hours. X and go out; but if 8«A •rf BLACK NVNKERT. 97 ihey were to bo watched by any person in St. Paul's* street all day long, no irregularity might be sus- pected ; and they might be supposed to visit the Con- vent for the performance of religious ceremonies merely. But if a person were near the gate about mid- night, he might sometimes form a diflerent opinion ; for when a stray priest is shut out of the Seminary, or la otherwise put in the need of seeking a lodg- ing, he is always sure of being admitted into the block nunnery. Nobody but a priest can even ring the bell at the sick-room door ; much less can any but a priest gain admittance. The pull of the bell is entirely concealed somewhere on the outside of the gate, I have bee a told. lie makes himself kno\vn as a priest by a pecu- liar kind of hissing sound, made by the tongue against the teeth while they cro kept closed, and the lips open. The nun within, who delays to open the door, until informed what kind of an applicant is there, immediately recognises the signal, and replies with two inarticulate sounds, such as are often used instead of ye^, with the mouth closed. The Superior seemed to consider this part of my instructions quite important, and taught me tfao sig» nals. I had often occasion to use them ; I ha ve been repeatedly called to the door, in the night, while watching in the sick room; and on reaching it, heard the short hissing sound I have mentioned, I '"^ 91 BLACK NO.NNEIIV. r then according to my standing orders, unfastening the door, admitted a priest, who was at liberty to go when he pleased. I will name Mr. Bierze, from 8t Denis. The books used in the nunnery, at least such as I recollect of them, were the following. Most of these are lecture books, or such as are used by the '4^dai!y readers, while we were at work, and meats. /These were all furnished by the Superior, out of her library, to which we never had access. She was informed when we had done with one book, and then exchanged it for such another as she pleased to select. Le Miroir du Chretien, (Christion Mirror,) His* tory of Rome, History of the Church, Life of Soeur Bourgeoise, (the founder of the Convent,) in two volumes, L'Ange Conducteur, (the Guardian An* gel,) L'Ange Chretien (the Christian Angel,) Lea Viet des Saints, (Lives of Saints,) in several volumes. Dialogues, a volume consisting of conversations be* tween a Protestant Doctor, called Dr. D. and a Catholic gentleman, on the articles of &itb, in which, after much ingenious reasoning, the former was eonlbted ; one large book, the name of which I ham forgotten, occupied us nine or ten months at our lectares. night and morning, 1' Instruction de la Jennene, (die Instruction of Youth,) containing much about Convents, and the education of persons in the world, with a great deal on confessions, Sx. RV. orders, unfoatenins was Rt liberty to go lO Mr. Bierze, from iry, at least sucli at I foUonring. Moat of I as are used by the at work, and meats, he Superior, out of $r had access. She one with one book, tch another as she iristion Mirror,) His* Church, Life of Soeur le Convent,) in two , (the Guardian An* liristian Angel,) Les ,) in several volumes. ' of conversations be* illed Dr. D. and a ;le8of&itb, inwhicb, ng, the former was e name of which I ic or ten months at g, I' Instruction de la Youth,) containing education of persons 1 on confessions, &c. BLACK NVNMCRY. 99 Exumcn do hi Conscienco, (Examination of Con- science,) is a book frequently used. I may here remark, that I never saw a Bible in the Convent from the day I entered es a novice, un- til that on which I effected my escape. The Ca- tholic, New Testament, commonly called the Evan- jjiie, was read to us about three or four times a year. The Superior directed the rendnr what passage to select ; but we never had it in our hands to read when we pleased. I often heard the Protestant Bible spoken of, in bitter terms, as n most dangerous book, and one which never ought to be in the hands of common people. \-ii ■«*• *■. CHAPTER X. I^ Abvu/wlufi nf Ditnd, anil H'ax Candlei, earrittl «n in th* Conrinl- SiipiiitillunB-ScaputariM— Virt'i* Marj/» pin- cvMon-i/rr Huuit—'nt nithop'i poittr ottr/rt—Mi M- »trurlion$ to Muricm—J^ne fiat- VacHtatitm i\f/ulint». Laroe quantities of bread are made in the Black Nunnery every week, for besides what is necctsnry to feed the nuna, many of the poor are supplied. When a priest wishes to give a loaf of bread to a poor person, he gives him an order, which is pre- sented at the Convent. The making of bread is therefore one of the most laborious employments iu the Institution. The manulacture of wax candles was another im- portant branch of business in the nunnery. It was carried on in a small room, on the first floor, thence called the CiSrgerie, or wax-room ; ciirge being the French word for wax. I was sometimes sent to read the daily lecture and catechism to the nuns employed there, but found it a very unpleasant task, as the smell rising from the melted wax gave me a sickness at the stoiimeh. The empbyment was considered as rather unhealthy, and those were •» signed to it, who hod the strongest constitutioae. The nans who were more commonly cm|iIoyed is .-■'■'^,..-: ■-■■■: BLACK NCN5BRY. 101 X. inilleii, enrrittl on in Ih* «»— Virtii* Martf* pin- poitfr ottr Jlri—A^ M* I'acillnlion qf/ttlinii. c made in the Black es what is necctsnry ) poor are supplied, a loaf of bread to a order, which i* pre- making of bread is ious employments iu idles was another im- he nunnery. It was the first floor, thence [>m; ciirge being the a sometimes sent to techism to the nuns very unpleasant task, sited wax gave me a iie employment was y, and thoM were ••• rongest coottitutiotM. mmonly cmjiloytd is I that room, were Saint Marie, Saint Catharine, Saint Charlotte, Saint Frances. Saint Hyacinthe, Saint llypolite, and others. But with these, as with other persons in the Convent, I was never allowed to speak, except under circumstances before mcn« tioncd. I was sent to read, and was not allowed even to answer the moat trivial questionrif one were asked me. Should a nun say, '• What o'clock is it T" I never should have dared to reply, but was required to report her to the Superior. MiKh stress was lai4 on the lainle $tajmlaire, or holy scapolary. Thia is • small band of cloth or silk, formed and wrought in a particular man- ner, to be tied around the neck, by |wo strings, k*- ened to the ends. I have made many of them ', having been somethnes set to make them in the CDS' vent On one side is worked a kind of doable cross, (thus, X X ) and on the othe?, I.H.S. the meaning of which I do not exactly know. Such a band is railed s seapulary, and many miracles are attributed to its power. Children on first receiving the com- muidon are often presented with scapukries, which they are Uught to regard with great revercnee. Wo were told of the wonders effected by their raem^ in the addresses made to us. by priests at catschtam or Isetwes. I will repeat one or two of the aiorisa which occur to me. A Benan Oatholic servant woman, who had cMi> coaUd.aoiBe of her sins at eoafcaiien, acted so by^ ■iiHife38gMfe^»W»eaB ga.-i»«w^ - »< <^ ^ t!i 7f'T loa liAOS MtNNIKV. pocrittcftl tL part as to maka her mivtreta believe her a dtvotti, or atrict observer of her duty. She even impoied upon her conr«)SSor,toiuch a degree, that ha gave hor a acapulary. A fter he had given it, however, one of the saints in heaven, informed him in a vision, that the holy scapulary must not remain on tha neck of so great a sinner; and that it must be res- tored to the church. She lay down that night wiih the scapulary round her throat ; but in the morning was found dead, with her head cut oflf, and the scapulary was discovered in the church. The belief was, that the devil could not endure to have so holy a thing on one of his servants, and had pulled a) hard to get it off; as to draw jj||e silken thread with which it was tied, through her neck ; ifter which, by some divina power it waa restored to the church. Another story was as foUowa. A poor Roman Catholic was once uken prisoner by the heretics. He had a iaintt teajmlairt on his neck, when Qod aceiog him in the midst of his foes, took it from hia neck by a miracle, and held it up in the air above tha throng of heretica; mote than one hundred d whom were converted, by aacing it thua aupema^ tarally suspended. I had been informed by the Superior, on my firM admission as a nun, that there waa a subterrancont passage, leading from the i-ellar of our Convent, UHt^- to that of the Congregational Nunnery ; bat, thoogit ' I had so often visited tb« cellar, I had aevar sccd il ."%... IJ I IKY. > mivtreM believe her her duty. She even luch ■ degree, that he had given it, however, irmed him in a vision, t not remain on the d that it muit be rea- wn that night wiih the t in the morning was off, and the scapulory The belief was, that iveso holy a thing on ulleds) hard to get it id with which it was irhich, by some divine liurch. iws. A poor Roman oner by the heretics. on his neck, when ifhis foes, took it from 1 it up in the air above than one hundred ol eing it thus supenw I Superior. («n my first ) was a subterrancoot ar of our Convent, Ull^> Nunnery ; but. thooglt' r, I had ncvar seen il BIAOK NONNIRT. tot One day, aAer I had been received throe or four months, I was sent to walkthrough il on my knees, .vith another nun, as a penance. This, and other penances, were •ometimes put upon us by tho prints, without any reason assigned. Tiie common way, indeed, was to tell us of the sin for which a penanco was imposed, but we were left many timus to conjee* ture. Now and then, the priest would inform us at n subsequent confusion, when he happened to rec* ollect something about it, as I thought, and not because he reflected, or cared much upon the sub* ject. The nun who was with mo led through the eel* lar, passing to the right of the secret burying-place, and showed me the door of tho suMerraneous pas- sage, which was at the extremity towards the Con- gregational Nunnery. The reasons why I hod not noticed it before, I presume were, that it was made to shut close and even with the wall; and all that partof thecelkr was whitewashed. The door, which is of wood, and squaro, opens with a latch into a passage about four feet and o half high. We im- mediately got upon our knees, commenced saying tbe prayers required, and began to move slowly along the dark and narrow passage. It may be fif- ty or slityfeet in length ; when we reached the end. ■^th opened a door, and found ourselves in the cellar of the Congregational Nunnery, at some distance from the outer wall ; for the covered way iscarriedfl^ .^MM»»»>n«»«^«^«»i.#^T If i^ 104 •tACK NrilNRir townrdilho middle of the erIUr by two loir pnrtiiioM covtr«jpct, The Sufwlilff often spoke to ua of the VMim Mary's pincushion, the remains of which are pretended to be preaerved in the Con- vent, though it has crumbled quite to the dust. We regarded this relic with such veneration, that we were afraid even to look at it, and we often heard the following story related when the subject was in* traduced. A priest in Jerusalem once had a vision, in which he was informed that the house in which the Virgin had lived, should be removed from its fouadatiems, and transported to a distance. He did not think the communication was from Qod, and therefore (fiara* garded it; but tho house was soon after miaeed/' which coovinced him that the vision was true, umI NKRr ir by twci loir pnrtiiioM I tida of th« (loor, WM • Blnck mint, with ■ •tt any of Ihem. W« naiHitr, at evidcne* of oMigned ui ; ami ihrn knwt, by lh« way we '. repeatedly p«rformt voM aoon after miMedjf 10 viaion wm Urtw, waA BLACK NVXNBRT. lOB he told uhiver some apology ready, or tome reply calculated to irritate still htthet, or to prove to every one, that no punishment would be fflectual on her. Sometimes this singular woman would appear to be actuated by opposite feelings and motives; for although she usually delighted in drawing others into difficulty, and has thrown many a severe penance even upon her greatest favourites, on other occasions she appeared totally regardless of consequences herself, and preferred to take all the blame, anxious only to shield others. I have repeatedly known her to break silence in the community, as if she had no object, or none beyond that of causing disturbance, or exciting a ami!*, and as soon as it was noticed, exclaim : "Say it's me, say it's me I" So^iietimcs she would even expose herself to punishments in place of another who was guilty; and thus I found it difficult fully to understand her. In some cases she seemed decidedly out of her wits, as the Superior and priests commonly preferred to represent her : but generally I saw in her what prevented me from accounting her insane. Among her most common tricks were such as these: She gave me the name of the "Devout English Reader," because I was often appointed to make the lecture to the English girls; and some- times, after taking a seat near me, under pretence of deafness, would whisper it in my hearing, be- cause she knew my want of self-command when 10 S 110 BLACK NUNNEBT. excited to laughter. Thus she oAen exposed me to penances for a breach of decorum, and set mc to biting my lips, to avoid laughing outright in the midstofa solemn lecture. "Oh! you devout Eng- lish Reader I" would sometimes come upon me sud- denly frorr. her lips, with something in it so ludi- crous that I had to exert myself to the utmost to avoid observation. This came so often at one time, that I grew un- easy, and told her I must confess it, to unburden my conscience. I had not done so before, because •he would complain of me, for giving way to temp- tation. Sometimes she would pass behind us as we stood at dinner ready to sit down, and softly moving back our chairs, leave ua to fall down upon the floor. This she repeatedly has done ; and while we were laughing together, she would spring forward, kneel to the Superior, and beg her pardon and a penance. .A »> 'iroSte;, ,ss «.irv ; •■'.iisti'mrfxf I NNEBT. she oAen exposed tnc to lecorum, and set mc to ighing outright in the " Oh ! you devout Eng- imescomc upon me sud- something in it so ludi- myself to the utmost to e time, that I grew un- confess it, to unburden done so before, because for giving way to temp- is behind us as we stood and softly moving back 1 down upon the floor, me ; and while we were Id spring forward, kneel r pardon and a penance. >■ / CHAPTER XI. Alarming Order from the Suptrior—Proettd to tsteuUU— Sctnt in an upper lioom— Sentence qf Death, and Murder-' Mf) ovn diatreea—Keporli made to Priendaqf St. Prancie. But I must now come to one deed, in which I had some part, and which I look back upon with greater horror and pain, than any occurrences in the Convent, in which I was not the principal Buflerer. It is not necessary for me to attempt to excuse myself in this ur any other case. Thosa who have any disposition to judge fairly, will exer- cise their own judgment in making allowances for me, under the fear and force, the commands and examples around me. I, therefore, shall con- fine myself, as usual, to the simple narration of facts. The time was about five months after I took the veil ; the weather was cool, perhaps in Septem- ber or October. One day, the Superior sent for me and several other nuns, to receive her com- mands at a particular room. We found the Bishop and some priests with her ; and speaking in an un- usual tone of fierceness and authority, she said, M Go to the room for the Examination of Conscience, uid drag Saint Francis up-stain.'' Nothing mortf JiuL^i *' 1^^ Hi.i lis ■LACK Kir!««««t. m« necessary than this unusuol command, with the tone and manner which nccompnnied it, to excite in me most gloomy anticipations. It did not str.Ve me as strange, that S.. Francis should be m the room to which the Superior directed us. It was an apartment to which we were often sent to prepare for the commu- nion, and to which we voluntarily went, whenever we felt the compunctions which our ignorance of duty, and the misinstructions wo received, inc.ned us to «M>k relief from self-reproach. Indeed. I hud seen her there a little before. What terriHcd me wos, first, the Superior's angry manner; second, the expression •ha used, being a French term, whose peculiar use 1 had learnt in the Convent, and whose ireaning is rather soaened when translated into drag; third, the place to which wo were directed to tnke the in- teresting young nun, and. the persons assembled there as I supposed to condemn her. My fears ^vere such, concerning the fate thai awaited her. and my horror at the idea that she was in some way to be aacrificed. that I would have given any thing to be allowed to stay where I was. Bat I feared tho coDsequcnces of disobeying the Superior, and pro- ceeded with the rest towards thetoom for the examm- ation of conscience. The room to which we were to proceed from that, was in the second story, and the place of many a scene of a shameful nature. It is sufficient for mo to aay. after what I have laid in other paitt of thit ^SK.JJs&.' t^' ** "^ ' ^ ^* *^ /sa iaa3.""= BRV. lat command, with the npnnied it, to excite in It did not »tf iUe mo lould be in the room to ). It was an apartment prepare for the comma- tily went, whenever we t)ur ignorance of duty, eceived, inclined us to . Indeed, I hud seen It terrified me was, first, ; second, the expression rm, whose peculiar uso and whose incaning is lated into drag; third, directed to take the in- the persons assembled ndemn her. My fears ite thtoi awaited her, and she was in some way to have given any thing to was. B»t I feared tho the Superior, and pro- thef oom for the examin- ■ere to proceed from thiti fid the place of many a It is sufficient for me lid in other paitt of this BLACK NVNNEar. Ill iH book, that things had there occurred which made me regard tho place with the greatest disgust. Saint Francis had appeared melancholy for some time. I well know that she had cause, for she had heien repeatedly subject to trials which I need not name — our common lot. When wo reached the room where wo had been bidden to seek her, I en- tered the door, my companions standing behind me, as the place was so small as hardly to hold firo per- sons at a time. The young nun was standing nlottle, near tho middle of the room ; she was proba- bly about twenty, with light hair, blue eyes, and a very fair complexion. I spoke to her in a compaa< sionate voice, but at the same time with such a decided manner, that she comprehended my full meaning. " Eaint Francis, we are sent for you." Several others spoke kindly to her, but two ad- dressed her very harshly. The poor creature turn- ed round with a look of meekness, and without ex- pressing any unwillingness or fear, without even speaking o word, resigned herself to our iianda. The tears came into my eyes. I had not a mo- ment's doubt that she considered her fate as sealed, and wvs already beyond the feai of death. She was conducted, or rather hurried to the staircase, which was near by, and then seized by her limbs and clothes, and in fiict almost dragged up-staira, in the sense the Superior had intended. I laid my own ' 10» ••i ■i'.: jitr*' I' / 114 •LACB NONNMY. lil hand* upon hf r— I took hold of her too,— more groily indeed ihtn some of ihe reet ; yet I encouraged and ouitted them in carrying her. 1 could not avoid i». My refuaal would not have auved hei nor prevent- ed her being carried up ; it would only have expoaed me to aome severe punishment, aa I believed some of my companions would have seized the first op- portunity to complain of me. All the way up the staircase, Saint Francis spoke not a word, nor made the slightest rcsietance. ' When we entered with her the room to which she .vos ordered, my heatt sunk within me. The Bishop, the Lady Superior, and five priests, vii. Bonin, Richards, Savage, and two others, I now as- certained, were assembled for her trial, on some charee of great importance. When we had brought our prisoner before them, Father Richarda began to question her, and she made, ready but calm, replies. I cannot pr«end to give a connected account of what ensued : my feel- ings were wrought up to such a pitch, that I knew not what I did. or what to do. I was under a terri- ble apprehension that, if I betrayed the feelinga which almost overcame me, I should fall under tho displeasure of the coldblooded persecutors of my poor innocent sister; and this fear on the one hand, with the distress I fdt for her on the other, render- ed me aimost frantic. Aa soon aa I entered tb* room. I had stepped into a eorner, on th« !•& of »h« ''"'^'■*}|"'. INIKT. fhcr too.— more jOTtly yet I eneouragitd and r. 1 could not avoid it. luved hei nor prevent- ould only have exposed >nU OS I believed aomo ave seized the first op- lircase, Saint Francis the slightest rcsietance. the room to which she ink within mc. The , and five priests, viz. id two others, I now as- for her trial, on some iir prisoner before them, question her, and she es. I cannot pretend to r what ensued : my feel- ich a pitch, that I knew lo. I was under a terri- I betrayed the ft^lingfs >, I should fall under iho oded persecutors of my bis fear on the one hand, her on the other, render- .8 soon as 1 entered tha conifr.oaUtalaaofUM >L4e. »I.»..T. ^.-IMI •Dtranea, where I might partially support nyael( by leaning against the wall, between the door and window. This support was all that prevented me from falling to the floor, for the confusion of my thoughts was so great, that only a few of the words I heard spoken on cither side made any lasting im- pression upon me. I felt as if struck with some in- supportable blow ; and death would not have been more frightful to me. I am inclined to the belief, that Father Richards wished to shield the poor pria- onor from the severity of her fate, by drawing from her expressions that might bear a favourable con- struction. He asked her, among other things, ii she was not sorry for what she had been overheard to say, (for she had been betrayed by one of tha nuns,) and if she would not prefer confinement in the cells, to the punishment which was threatened her. But the Bishop soon interrupted him. and it was easy to perceive, that he considered her fata ai sealed, and was determined she should not escape, (n reply to some of the questions put to her, she waa silent; to others I heard her voice reply that she 4kl not repent of words she had uttered, though tbajr had been reported by some of the nuns who had heard them ; that she still wished to escape from tha Convent ; and that she bad firmly resolved to reaiat every attempt to compel her to thecommiaakn of crimaa which the dotaated. Sht added, that aha 4- J', J. -'<.. lid BLACK NU^NBRY. I would mtlicr (lie timn coum the murder of harmlrtt bab«s. "That ii enough, (iriiih her I" luid the Biihop. Two riuna inituntly fell upon the young woman, and in obedience to direction, given by the Superi- or, prepared to execute her •cntenco. She Mtill nmintoined all the calmneu atid aubmii- ■ton of a lamb. Some of thoao who took part in this trnniiaction, I believe were oa unwilling «• my- ■olf ; but of othera I can iafely aay, that I believo they delighted 'n it. Their conduct certainly ex- hibited a moit bloodthirsty spirit. But, abovo oil others present, ond above all lluman fiends I over •aw, I think Saint Hyppolite was the most diaboli- cal. She engaged in the horrid task with all alac- rity, and assumed from choice the most revolting parU to bo performed. She seized a gag, forced it into the mouth of the poor nun, ond when it was fixed between her extended jaws, so as to keep them open at their greatest possible distance, took hold of the straps fastened at each end of the stick, crossed them behind the helpless head of the victim, and drew them tight through the loop prepared as a fastening. The bed which had always stood in one part of the room, still remained there ; though the screen, which had usually been placed before it, and WM made of thick muslin, with only a crevice through which a person behind might look out, had been 'j»w¥-' NERY. ihe inurdvrof harmlftt •rl" luid the Bithop. K)n the yuung woman, I, given by th« Supeii- iciilenco. t cnlmneu and submii- loae who took part in re 01 unwilling Ri my- luly say, thot I bclievo r conduct certoinly ex- spirit. But, obovo all ill liuman ficnd« I over B was the moat diaboli- >rrid task with all alac- ice the most revolting 9 seized a gag, forced it nun, and when it was jaws, so as to keep them lie distance, took hold of ind of the stick, crossed d of the victim, and drew prepared as a fastening, lys stood in one part of sre ; though the screen, iced before it, and WM only a crevice through jhx look out, had been SLACK NVNNIBf. 117 folded up on its hinges in iho form of a W, and placed in a corner. On the bed the prisoner wua laid with her face upward, and then bound wiih cords, so that she could not move. In an instant anotlipr bed was thrown upon her. One of the priests, nomad Banin. sprung like a fury first upon it, and stumped upon ii, with all his force. He was spueilily followed by the nuns, until there were as miny upon the bud as cuuld And room, and all did what they could, not only to smother, but to bruise lier. Some stood up and jumped upon the poor girl with their feet, some with tlu>ir knees, and others in dilTw-rent ways sei-med to sock how they might best boat the breath out of her body, and mangle it, with- out coming in direct contact with it, or seeing the clfcrts of their violence. During this time, my feelings were almost too ittrnng to be endured. I folt stupified, and scarcely was conscious of what I did. Still, fear for myself remained in n sufficient degree to induce me to some exertion, nnd I attempt- ed to talk to thosr who stood next, partly that I might have an excuse for turning a.vay from the dreadful scene. After the lapse of fifteen or twenty minutes, and when it was presumed that the suflTerer had been smothered, and crushed to death, Fstber Benin and the nuna ceased to trample upon hsr, and step- ped from the bed. All wu motionless and silent benoath it 4 1; t.m ' U i^i tii l m i HiU , Ill ■LAfK wrMJtfur. • . iIioukIu* us (Kcurri'dlo m>m« of tli«in. rnllyinK each olhiT in thf in«)« unfi'.'lirnr iimimi-r. ond ridiculin« uif for th« f.r the necks were broken is used in France to pre- fl cemctcrica. rom the ahoek caused by recurs to me, with most next day there wat n ery thing, and recreation- t manner; acarcely any liapcr. ULACK NVMMIkHr. HO I navar heard much said aAi'rward about Saint Francis. I spoke with one of the nuns, n fi'W words, one day, but wo wont all cautioned nut to expose our- selves very fur, and could not place much reliance in each other. 'I'hc murdered nun had Itvcn brought to her shockintf end through the tri'in-hery of oho of our number, in whom she confided. I never knew with ccrUiinly who had reported her remarks to the Superior, but suspicion fastened on one, and I never could regard her but with de- leatalion. I was more inclined to blamo her than tome ot those employed in the «>xecution ; for there could have bei>n no necessity for the betrayal of her feel- ings. Wo all knew how to ovoid exposing each other. I was often sunt by the Superior to overhear what waa said by novices and nuns : when they aoemed to shun her, she would say, "Go and listen, they are speaking English;" and though I obeyed her, I never informed her against them. If I wished to clear my conscience, I would go to a priest, and confess, knowing that he dared not communicate what I said to any person, and that he would not impoae as heavy penances as-the Superior. We were always at liberty to choose another eon- feasor when we had any sin to confess, which wo * I 1] -*t» ISO BtACK RCNXKBr. f were unwilling to tell one, to whom mtc ahoold otherwise have gone. Not long after the murder just related, a young woman came to the nunnery, and asked for permis- sion to see Saint Francis. It was my former friend, with whom I had been as an assistant teacher, Miss Louise Bousquet, of St. Denis. From this, I supposed the murdered nun might have come from that town, or its vicinity. The only answer return- ed to the inquiry was, that Saint Francis was dead. Sometime afterward, some of St. Francis' friends called to inquire after her, and they were told that she bad died a glorious death ; and further told, that ■he made some heavenly expressions, which wer* rtipeated, in order to satisfy her friends. ..**5 V^l P C; I, to whom we ahoold ftr ■!■■ JL „.- :t enough to lay aside iharacter they so cfAen Tho confessor some- s examination of con- ) Superior's room, and 1 who was confessing, id in the middle of the iced behind a grate, or id nothing before or ) spectators to observe :hing would have been confessed on the same dmitted into tho room )laces just without thu jt through the prepara- 'confession; repeating ys occ upy a consider- ady, she rose from her door behind her ; and ch the latch until she ransacted at such times, ,ng, and receiving obso* was often incurred than «p die were committed, in childish ceremonies, ees. I cannot persuade ich a subject, aa I mutt BLACK NVNNKRV. 135 offend the virtuous ear. I can only say, that sua* picion cannot do any injustice to the priests, be- cause their sins cannot bo exaggerated. Some idea may be formed of the manner in which even such women os many of my sister nuns were regarded the confessors, when I state, that there was often a contest among us, to avoid entering the apartment as long as we could, endeavouring to make each other go first, as that was what most of us dreaded. During the long and tedious days, which filled np the time between the occurrences I have men- tioned, nothing, or little, took place to keep up our spirits. We were fatigued in body with labour, or with sitting, debilitated by the long continuance of our religious exercises, and depressed in feelings by our miserable and hopeless condition. Nothing but the humours of mad Jane Ray, could rouse us for a moment from our languor and melancholy. > To mention all her devices, would require more room than is here allowed, and a memory of almost all her words and actions for years. I had early hecomc a favourite with her, and had opportunity to learn more of her character than most of the other nuns. As this may be best learnt from hearing what she did, I will here recoiint a few of her tricks, just as they happen to present themselves to my mem- ory, without regard to the order of time. She one day, in an unaccountable humour, sprink- H ii^lLi 120 ■LACic nvsumr. t lod the floor plentifully with holy water, which brought upon her a severe lecture frum the Supe- rior, as might hnve been expected. The Superior said it was a heinous oflbnce; shp'had wasted holy watir enough to save many souls from purgatory ; and what would thry not give for it I She then or- dered Jane to sit in the middle of the floor, and when the priest came, ho was informed of her of- fence. Instead, however, of imposing one of those penances to which she had often been subjected, but with so little eflect, he said to her, " Go to your place, Jane ; we forgive you for this time." I waa once set to iron aprons with Jane; aprons and pocket handkerchiefs, arc the only articles of dress, which are ever ironed in the Convent. As soon as we were alone, she remarked, '* Well, we are free from the rules, while we are at this work ;" and although she knew she had no reason for say- ing so, she began to sing, and I soon joined her, and thus wo spent the time, while we were at work, to the neglect of the prayers we ought to have said. We had no idea that we were in danger of being overbfard, but it happened that the Superior wo« x overhead all the time, with several nuns, who were preparing for confession : she came down and said, " How is this V Jane Bay coottjr replied, that we had employed our time in singiof hymns, and referred to me. I was afraid to co^ftrm so direct a ||iW hood, io ordtr to deceive tb«>^ 'nerisii thotigh I had is- IMT. h holy tvater, which ecture frum the Supc- ected. The Superior sht^'had wasted holy ouls from purgatory ; c for it I She then or- Idle of the floor, and IS informed of her of- imposing: one of those l\cn been subjected, but to her, " Go to your for this time." ms with Jane; aprons e the only articles of I in the Convent. As remarked, " Well, we we are at this work ;" lad no reason for say- nd I soon joined her, fhile we were at work, we ought to have said, ere in danger of being hat the Superior wg« iveral nuns, who were i camo down and said, % replied, that we had J bymns. and referred irm so direct a ||iW 1 "ntxi^it though I had BLACK NCNNtRV. 137 ftftcn told more injurious ones of her fabrication, or at her orders, and said very little in reply to Jane'» request. The Superior plainly saw the trick that was at- tempted, and ordered us both to the room for the examination of conscience, where we remained till night, without a mouthful to eat. The time was not, however, unoccupied; I received such a lecture from Jane, as I have very scldotn heard, and she wan so angry with me, that we did not speak lo each other for two weeks. At length she found something to complain of against me, had me subjected to a penance, which led to our begging each other's pardon, and we be- came perfectly uatisfied, reconciled, and as good friends as ever. One of the most disgusting penances we ever had to submit to, was that of drinking the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Nobody could ever laugh at this penance except Jane Ruy. She would pretend to comfort us, by saying, she was sure it was better than mere plain clear water. Some of the tricks which I remember, were play- M by Jane with nuns' clothes. It was a rule that the oldest aprons in use, should go to the youngest received, and that the old nuns were to wear all the new ones. On four diflTerent occasions, Jane stole into the sleeping-room at night, and unobserved by tho watch, ohaoged a great part of tho aprons, i'i i: ^ W/'i' m 128 BLACK NONNERY. placing them by the beds of nuns to whom they did not belong. The consequence was, that in the morn- ing thoy dressed themselves in such haste, as never to discover the mistakes they mode, until they were all ranged at prayers ; and then the ridiculous appear- ance which many of them cut. disturbed the long devotions. I laugh so easy, that on such occasions, 1 usually incurred a full shore of penances. I gen- erally, however, got a new apron, when Jone played this trick ; for it was part of her object, to give the best aprons to her favourites, and put oflTthe ragged ones on some of the old nuns whom she most hotcd. Jane once lost her pocket-handkerchief The penance for such on oflence is, to go without any for five weeks. For this she had no relish, and re- quested me to pick one from some of the nuns on the way up-stairs. I succeeded in getting two: this Jane said was one too many, and she thought it dangerous for either of us to keep it, lest a seorch should be made. Very soon the two nuns were complaining that they had lost their handkerchiefs, and wondering what could have become of them, as they were sure they had been careful. Jane seized an opportunity, and slipped one into a straw bed, where it remained until the bed was emptied to be filled with new straw. As the winter was coming on, one year, she com* plained to mo that we were not as well supplied with warm night*clothes, as two of the num she " «5^ iiUHiiB ERY. uns to whom they did was, that in the morn- such haite, as never to de, until they were all the ridiculous oppear- ut, disturbed the long int on such occasionR, e of penances. I gen- ron, when Jane played tier object, to give the and put ofTthe ragged ivhom she most hated, t-handlcerchief. The is, to go without any had no relish, and re- somo of the nuns on «ded in getting two: my, and she thought it keep it, lest a search n the two nuns were Rt thfir handkerchiefs, ive become of them, as I careful. Jane seized one into a straw bed, bed was emptied to be on, one year, she com- e not as well supplied I two of the nuns she W ■LACK NUNNIiy. IM named, whom she said she " abominated." She soon aAer found means to get possession of their flne warm flannel nightgowns, one of which site gave to me. while the other she put on at bedtime. She ptcsumed the owners would have a secret search for them ; and in the morning hid them in the stove, aller the fire had gone out, which was kindled a little before the hour of rising, ond then suflered to burn down. This sho did every morning, taking them out at night, through the winter. The poor nuns who owner* the garmenUwere afraid to complain of their lots, lest they should have some penrnce laid on them, and nothing was ever said about them. When the weather began to grow warm in the spring, Jane relurnttd the nightgowns to the beds of the nuns, from whom she had borrowed them, and they were probably as much surprised to find them Again, as they bud before been at losing them. Jane once found an opportunity to fill her apron with a quantity of fine opples, called fameutes, which camo in her way, and, hastening up to the sleeping- room, hid them under my bed. Then coming down, she informed me, and we agreed to apply for leave to make our elevens, as it is called. The meaning of this is, to repeat a certain round of prayers, for nine days in succession, to some saint we choose to iiddress for assistance, in becoming more charitable, •flcctioDate, oi something else. We easily obtained )l ■: ' ■ ■' •l 180 IILACIl NVNNKIir. t permiiiion, and luteiied up-ttoirt to begin our nine days' feast on the applet ; when, much to our aur- priae, they had all been taken •) way, and there was no way to avoid the diaa^r>rt9bl6 fate we had brought upon ouraelve*. Jan=i therefore began to ■carch the beda of the other nuns ; but not finding nny trace of the apples, she became doubly vexed, nnd stuck pins in those which belonged to her one* inics. When bedtinte came, they were much scratched in getting into bed, which made them break silence, and that subj'\.*-?d them to penances. ? >- u- -.-.^':^,^,iiiit0&> ^ '*-- IKRT. tairt to begin our nine hen, nuich to our ■iir- 1 >} way, and there waa {ri>f^able fate we had in» therefore began to iiuna ; but not finding became doubly vexed, h belonged to her cnc- r were much scratched ide them break ailenco, luances. CHAPTEn XIII. Jam Raj/n Trlekt ronltnuttl-Thii hroomtliik Uhoil~Slttp' valkiixg—Salttd Cid*r~Vhaniinii Btdi~ObjtcUn/' mm* H/' A«r Trkki—FtififU llumilitj/ -Alarm, ONf- night, Juno, who had been sweeping the sleeping-room, for a penance, dressed up the broom- stick, when she had complfted her work, with n white cloth on the end, so tied as to resemble an old woman dressed in white, with long anna sticking out. J'his she stuck through a broken pane of glass, and placed it no that it appeared to be looking in at the window, by the font of holy water. There it remained until the nuns came up to bed, The first who stopped at the font, to dip her fmgvt in, caught u glimpse of the singular object, and started with terror. The next was tqually terrified, as she ap- proached, and the next, nnd the next. We all believed in ghosts; and it was not wonder- ful that such an object should cauxc alarm, esjieciully us it was but a short time after the death of one of the nuns. Thus they went on, each getting a fright in turn, yet all afraid to speak. At length, one more alarmad, or with less presence of mind than the rest, ex- mi »nr 1 JM- it&ai KvinriRT. I M" clnirflfd :"Oh,monDi«ul J«na mflcoueheraiiiMur Whrn Iho ni!,'htwotch called oiil. " Who't lh«t 1" Blio ronf«Mpin^''room at mos she would he innt- into a doz?. June Ray rise from her bed, and Diiting one of the nuns her. This sho gencr- mcs we have all been terror. In our alarm, s silence, and gare occa* iia under pcnanect. RIa- •iA«i irvNiniirr. IIS ny times, however, we escaped wich n more rrpri* msnd, while Jane usually received expressions of cumpossion :— " Poor creature I sho would nne do to if she were in perfi-ct possession of her reason." And Jono displayed her customary artfulness, in keeping up the false impression. As soon os sho perceived ihnt the old nun was likely to observe her, •he Would throw hor arms about, or appear uncon- scious of what she was iiuing. foiling upon a bed, or standing stock-still, until cxirtions had been made to rouse her from hernuppuscd lethargy. Wo were once allowed to drink cider at dinner, w hicli wos quite on e.xiroordir,nry favour, Jane, how- ever, on account of lier neglij^onci- of all work, wns ilenied the privilve, which she much rt'scnted, Tho next day, when dinner arrived, we began to taste our new drink, but it was so snit wc could not swallow it. Those of us who nt first discovered it, wore, as asual, afraid to speak ; but we set down our cups, and looked round, till tho others made tho aamo discovery Wiiich they all soon did, and most of 'hem in tho same manner, SomH, however, at lenij»I), taken by surprise, uttered acme ludicrpiis exclon ution. on t> stinqf the salted cider, and then an old nun, looking <:t\n, would cry out: — "Ah! tu cossea la silence!" (Ah I you've broken silence,) And thu«i vre tnoi) got a-laughing, beyond cor power o; jupporti'ig it At recreation ;hvi day, the 12 •y^^ 184 BLACK NUNNKIlV. first question asked by many of us, was, " How did you liiic your cider?" Jane Ray never had a fixed place to sleep in. When the weather began to grow warm in the spring, she usually pushed some bed out of its place, near a window, and put her own beside it ; and when the winter approached, she would choose a spot near the stove, and occupy it with her bed, in spite of all re- monstrance. We were all convinced, that it was generally best to yield to her. She was often set to work, in different ways; but, whenever she was dissatisfied with doing any thing, would devise some trick tliat would make the Su- perior, or old nur.s, drive her off; and whenever any suspicion was expressed, of her being in her right mind, she would say, that she did not know what she was doing; that all the difficulty arose from her repeating prayers too much, which wearied and distracted her mind. I was once directed to ussist Jane Ray, in shifting the beds of the nuns. When we came to those of some of tljc sisters, whom she most disliked, she said, now we will pay them for some of the penan- ces we have suffered on their account ; and taking some thistles, she niixpd them with the straw. At night, the first of them who got into bed, felt the thistles, and cried out. The night-watch exclaimed, as usual, " You are breaking silence there." And then another screamed, as she was scratched by the this- ■*' (NEIlV. ly of us, waa, " How place to sleep in. When vatm in the spring, sho ut of its place, near a esidc it ; and when the d choose a spot near the r bed, in spite of all re- convinced, that it was r. , in different ways; but, ■d with doing any thing. It would make the Su- r off; and whenever any her being in her right she did not know what iifficulty arose from her h, which wearied and list Jane Ray, in shifting len we came to those of she most disliked, she for some of the pcnan- nr account ; and taking em with the straw. At 10 got into bed, felt the ight-watch exclaimed, as ilence there." And then as scratched by the this- BLACK NUNNERY. 185 ties, and another. The old nun then called on all who had broken silence to rise, and ordered them to sleep under their beds, as a penance, which they si- lently complied with. Jane and I afterward con- fessed, when it was all over, and took some trifling penance which the priest imposed. Those nuns who fell most under the displeasure of mad Jane Ray, as I have intimated before, were those who had the reputation of being most ready to inform of the trifling faults of others, and especially those who acted without any regard to honour, by disclosing what they had pretended to listen to in confidence. Several of the worst-tempered " saints" she held in abhorrence; and I have heard her say, that such, and such, she abominated. Many a trick did she play upon these, some of which were pain- ful to them in their consequences, and a good num- ber of them have never been traced to this day. Of all the nuns, however, none other was regarded by her with so much detestation as Saint Hypolitc ; for she was always believed to have betrayed Saint Francis, and to have caused her murder. She ^vas looked upon by us as the voluntary cause of her death, and of the crime which those of us commit- ted, who, unwillingly, took part in her execution. We, on the contrary, being under the worn of fears for ourselves, in case of refusing to o)>ey our nuu- tets and mistress, thought ourselves chargeable with less guilt, as unwilling assistants in a scene, '-# •; -■,^-i£^t ise BLACK NCNNSRY. which it tvas impossible for u« to prevmi or delay. Jane hot often spoken with me of the suspfcted in- foimer, and always in terms of the greatest bitter- ness. The Superior sometimes expreued commisera- tion for mad Jane Ray, but I never could tell whe- ther she really believed her insane or not. I was always inclined to think that she was willing to put up with some of her tricks, because they served to divert our minds from the painful and depressing circumstances in which we were placed. I knew the Superior's powers and habits of deception also, and that she would deceive us as willingly as any one else. Sometimes she proposed to send Jane to St Anne's, a place near Cluebec, celebrated for the pil- grimages made to it by persons difierently afflicted. It is supposed that some peculiar virtue exists there, which will restore health to the sick ; and I have heard stories told in corroboration of the common belief. Many lame and blind persons, with others, visit St. Anne's every year, some of whom may be seen travelling on foot, and begging their food. The Superior would sometimes say, that it was a pity that a woman like Jane Ray, capable of being so useful, should be unable to do her dutijss in con- sequence of a malady which she thought might be cured by a visit to St Anne's. ... Yet to St Anne's .ane was nover mat, wa&lm w KRY. !• to prevent or delay. te of the suspfcted in* of the greatest bitter- expreued commiura- never could tell whe- insane or not. I was she was willing to put )ccause they served to ainful and depressing were placed. I knew ibits of deception also, us as willingly as any to send Jane to St celebrated for the pil- tns differently afHicted. liar virtue exists there, I the sick ; and I have iration of the common d persons, with others, some of whom may be 1 begging their food, mes say, that it was a Ray, capable of being » do her dutijes in con- I she thought might b« BtACK NUNNERT. 187 IS noTetMBt, •ndlgt fe. wild and various tricks continued as before. The rules of silence, which the others were so scrupu- lous in observing, she set at nought every hour ; and as for other rules, she regarded them with as little tef^fX when they stood in her way. She would now and then step out and stop the clock by which our exercises were regulated, and sometimes, in this manner, lengthened out our recreations- till near twelve. At last the old nuns began to watch against such a trick, and would occslbionally go out to see if the clock vras going. ' She once made a request that she might not eat with the other nuns, which was granted, as it seem- ed to proceed firom a spirit of genuine humility, which made her regard iierself as anworthy of our society. It being most convenient, she was sent to the Su- perior's table, to make her meals after her ; and it did not at first occur to the Superior, that Jane, in this manner, profited by the change, by getting much better food than the rest of us. Thus ther« : «k»Uil^Ji liii^SSi'gi^iiiiiiiiitniiuti^m^^ I m i? 140 BLACK NVNNKIIY. the trick, and a penance was immediately laid on me for the sin I hbd concealed. There was an old nun, who was a famous talker, whom we used to call La Mftre. (Mother.) One night, Jane Ray got up, and secretly changed the caps of several cf the nuns, and hers among the rpst. In the morning there was great confusion, and such a bcene as seldom occurred. She was severely blamed by La Mire, having been informed against by some of the nuns ; and at last became so much enraged, that she attacked the old woman, and even took her by the throat. La MJre called OD all present to come to her assistance, and several nuna interfered. Jane seized the opportunity afford- ed in the confusion, to beat some of her worst ene- mies quite severely, and afterward said, that she hod intended to kill some of the rascally informers. For a time Jane made us laugh so much at pray- ers, that the Superior forbade her going down with US to morning prayers ; and she took the opportu- nity to sleep in the morning. When this was found out, she was forbidden to get into her bed again after leaving it, and then she would creep under it and take a nap on the floor. This she told us of one day, but threatened us if we ever betrayed her. At length, she was missed at breakftist, as she would sometimes oversleep herself, and the Superior began to be more strict, and always inquired, in the morning, whether Jane Ray was in her place. ^trf-** MKRY. ■LACK NONNBRY. 141 AS immediately laid on d. was a famous ialker, Mftre, (Mother.) One 1 secretly changed the and hers among the I was great confusion, I occurred. She was , having been informed ; and at last became so ickcd the old woman, iroat. La Mire called assistance, and several the opportunity hfford- some of her worst enc- ward said, that she had ■ascally informers, augh so much at pray- e her going down with she took the opportu- When this was found get into her bed again e would creep under it r. This she told ns of f we ever betrayed her. d at breakftst, as she lerself, and the Superior always inquired, in the ay was in her place. When the question was general, none of us an- swered ; but when it was addressed to some nua near hur by name, as, "Saint Eustace, is Jano Ray in her place?" then we had to reply. Of all the si-«ncd* that occurred during my stny in the Coiivent, there was none which exciivd the de- lif^iitof Jane more than one which took place in the chapel one day at mass, though I never had any particular reason to suppose that she had brought it about. Some person, unknown to me to this day, had put some substance or other, of a most nauseous smell, into the hat of a little boy, who attended at the altar, and he, without observing the trick, put it upon his head. In the midst of the ceremonies he approached some of the nuns, who were almost suf- focated with the odour ; and as he occasionally mo- ved from place to place, some of them began to beckon to him to stand farther oflli and to hold their noses* with looks of disgust. The boy was quite uncon- scious of the cause of the difficulty, and paid them no attention ; but the confusion soon became so great, through the distress of some, and the laughing of others, that the Superior noticed the circumstance, and beckoned to the boy to withdraw. All attempts, however, to engage us in any work, prayer, or med- itation, were found inefTectual. Whenever the cir- cumstances in the chapel came to mind, we would ii !'( .. Ai*im^^i^imm¥iiu^vmmSf&mmi^iegan with : look from above, »." site me, and often in the d, and slip into my bed, ! did in a low whisper, [ caution. tricks she had played, and sometimes make ms much to do in the morn> ind doing penances. >vas sent to light a fire ; i, remarked privately to rere too cold — you'll ace \ great stir in the house, nad Jane Ray had been ing tt fire, and she wiu llt..\(-K Nl NNKUY. 143 taken up appurently iiiRiMi8il)ii>, iiiiil convoyed to her lied. She complained to ine, who visited her in the cnursu of the day, that she was likely to starve, oa food was denied lu>r; and I was persuaded lo pin H stocking under my dress, and secretly put food into it from the tnhlo. This I afterward carried to lier and relieved her wants. One of the things which I blamed Jane most for, wus a disposition to quarrel with any nun who seemed to bu winning the favour of the Superior. She would iiover rest until she had brought such a one into Mtnie difficulty. Wo were allowed but little soap ; and Jane, when ^lio found her supply nearly gone, would take the lirdt piece she could find. One day there was a •T*>iierul search made fur a largo piece that was missed ; when, soon after I had been searched, Jane Kay passed mo and slipped it into my pocket ; she u-iis soon after searched herself, and then secretly came for it again. While I recall these particulars of our nunnerj, niid refer so often to the conduct nnd language of one of the nuns, I cannot speak of somo things, which I believed or suspected, on account of my ' want of sufficient knowledge. But it is a pity you have not Jane Ray for a witness ; she knows many things of which 1 am ignorant. She must be in poasession of &cts that should bo known. Her long residence in the Convent, her habits of roaming, fr '^ % •■'mmmmmima^im&mm&m^smit^ jfe i!^ I kll ILAOK NVltniRT. about U, nrifl of oh«crvincf tv«»ry thing, muit hnv inndo hnr acquointed with xWmfn which would bo heard with interMt. I ahvnyn foil at if "he knew every thintf. She would ollfii ko ond liMen, orlook through the crnck* into the Superior's room, while nny of the priests were closeted with her, and some- timet would coiiio nnd tell mo what oho witnett- ud. I felt myself bound to confess in tuch cntes, and nlwnys did so. She knew, however, thnt I only told it '.': Jho priest or to the Su|)erior, and without rnentioninir the name of my informant, which 1 was nt liberty to withhold, to that she was not found out. I often ■aid to her, " I>)n't tell me, Jane, for 1 mutt confcst It" She would reply : " It is better for you to confess it than for me." I thus became, even against my will, informed of scenes, supposed by the actors of them to bo secret. Jane Ray once persuaded me to accompany her into the Superior's room, to hide with her under the tofa, and await the appearance of a visiter whoin she expected, that we might overhear what jrasscd beween them. We had been long concealed, when the Superior came in alone itnd sat for some time, when fearing she might detect us in the stillness which prevailed, wo began to repent of our temer- ity. At length, however, she suddenly withdreVv. and thus aflbrdcd us a welcome opportunity to etcapOi r iflRT. (very thing, muit ha^"* liinifii which would bo yii foil 0* if the knew n Ko nml ilMen, orlook Jiip^rior's room, while led with her, and some- mo what Bho wiini'ti- confoss in tuch cnses, t I only told it ',-: the wiihoiit rnentiiminqf the ich 1 wns nt liborty to not found out. I often Jane, for 1 must confosj jnfcss it thnn for me." St my will, informed of ir« of them to bo secret. me to nccompnny Iut hide with hvr under tho mce of a visiter whom t overhear what iMsscd in long concealed, when itnd sat for some time, !tect us in the stillness to repent of our temer- iho suddenly withdfwVv. relcoiDC opportunity to r. BLACK NINNBRV. 145 I was pnisinpf one duy ilirough a jwrt of the eel- l.ir, where I had not often oc-cuiion to go, when the feof my shoe liit sumulhiu^. I tri()|)t'd and fell dovvu. 1 ruse n^'ain, and holding my lump to sro whut buy \H'm\ttcn I had •Htfrrfj', and thoio which I conmoiitly frttn-d, nnd thf f«'«!h'»'»s of •hame. rnnoMo, nnd iidrror, which ■oiiipiimcinroi*', bl ought nut 10 a BtaU! which t cnmuA detcribe In the (Irit plnce. my franui win cnft'obliil by lh» uncnsy postures I wna required to kfi-p for nn long a time during prnyeri. This ulono I thought wft» •ufBcient to undermine my health ond destroy my life. An hour nnd n half every morning I had to ■it on the floor of the community-room, with my feet under me, my body bent forward, ond my head hanging on one sid.*, in a posture exprcasivo of great humility, it is true ; but very fatiguing to keep for such an unreasonable length of time. Often I found it impossible to avoid falling asleep in this posture, which I could do without det»;ction, by bending a little lower than tisual. The s gnal to rise, 01 the noise made by the rising nf the other nuns, then woke me, and I got up with the rest un- observed, Before we took tht posture just described, wo had to kneel for a long time without bending the body, keeping quite erect, with the exception of the kneet» only, wth the hands together before the breast This I found the most distressing attitude fjgir uxe, and never usumed it without feeling • sharp pain in my chest, v/hich 1 often thought would soon lead 1 t' I i : r« ai to of «!• r' hi ha ha liny. ■ cri and lah long I ulono I thoujijht was heollh and di'strov my pry morning I had to iiunity-room, with my forward, and my head posture expressive of very fatiguing to keep ngth of time. Often I falling asleep in this without detection, by Hual. The a gnal to the rising of the other ot up with the rest un- just described, we had OQt bending the body, exception of the kneet) )er before the breast ssing attitude Cgt? mo, It feeling a sharp pain lought would soon lead •I.AOK NONNMr. i4r r me to my grave— that is, to the great common recep- ! tacle for the dead, under the chapel. Ah! this up- right kneeling posture we were obliged to resume as soon as wo rose firotn the half-sitting po.Juro first mentioned; so that 4 usually felt myself exhausted ond near to fainting before the concliikion of ino/n- ing sorvi'-cs. I founcf the mditations extremely tedious, and often ('id .' #;nk lf<.o sl^.p while we were all seated in siJcnc. m tie floor When required to tell my medifil'oi's, i,8 it was thought to be of no great ira- Itortanco ,vho. we said, I sometimes found I had nothing 10 tell but a dream, and told that, which passed ofTvery well. Jane Ray appeared to be troubled still more than myself with wandering thoughts ; and when blamed for them, would reply, •« f begin very well ; but di- rectly I begin to tlJnk of some nid friend of mine, and my thoughts go awandermt fVom one country to another." ' Sometimes I confessed my falling asleep; and often the priests have talked to me aVeut the sin of sleeping in time of meditation. At last, one of them rropoard to me to prick myself with a pin. which I have often done, and so rousea myself for a time. My close confineineni in the Convent, and the want of opportunities to Veathe the open air, might hare proved more injurisus tc nic iV.-xn they did, had I not been employed a pert of my tLue in moro .fitnistm.'' 148 BLACK RrNKEIlT. active labours than those of sewing. &c., to which I was chiefly confined. I took part occasionally in ■ome of the heavy work, ns washing, &c. The events which I am now to relate, occurred about five months after my admission into the Con- vent as a nun ; but I cannot fix the time with pre- cision, as I know not of any thing which took place in the world about the same period. The circum- stances I clearly remember; but, as I have else- where remarked, we were not accustomed to keep any account of time. Information was given to us one day, that an- other novice was to be admitted omong us ; and we were required to remember and mention her often in our prayers, that she «ight have faithfulness m the service of her holy spouse. No information \na given us concerning her beyond this fact: noi a word about her age, name, or nation. On all similar occasions the same course was pursued, and all that the nuns ever learnt concerning one another ^Tas what they might discover by being together, and which usually amounted to little or nothing. When the day of her admission arrived, though I did not witness the ceremony in the chapel, it was a gratification to us all on one occount, because we ' were always released from labour, and enjoyed a great recreation daj'. Our new sister, when she was introduced to the "holy" society of us "saints," proved to be young, ( ( ( i 1 c s u I t & tl 8 P n B! n n h n P' in A to fe si 8* lERT. iviing, &c., to which I ik part occasionally in vaahing, &c. low to relate, occurred Imission into the Con- fix the time with pre- ;hinj which took place I period. The circum- ; but, as I have else- lot accustomed to keep ) us one day, that an- ted among us ; and we md mention her often jht have faithfulness in ouse. No information sr beyond this fact : noi ne, or nation. On all lourse was pursued, and concerning one another iver by being together, d to little or nothing, mission arrived, though ony in the chapel, it was one account, because we J labour, and enjoyed a le was introduced to the ts," proved to be young, BLACK NrNNERy. 149 of about the middle size, and very good looking for a Canadian ; for I soon ascertained that she was one of my own countrywomen. The Canadian females are generally not handsome. I never learnt her name, or any thing of her history. She had chosen Saint Martin for her nun name. She was admitted in the morning, and appeared melancholy all day. This I observed was always the case; and the remarks made by others, led me to believe that they, and all they had seen, had felt sad and miserable for a longer or shorter lime. Even the Superior, as it may be recollected, confessed to me that she had experienced the same feelings r.hen she was received. When bedtime arrived, she proceeded to the chamber with the rest of us, and was assigned a bed on the side of the room opposite my own, and a little beyond. The nuns were all soon in bed, the usual silence ensued, and I was nuking my customary mental prayer and composing myself to sleep, when I heard the most piercing and heart-rending shrieks proceed from our new com- rade. Every nun seemed to rise as if by one im- pulse, for no one could hear such sounds, especially in such total silence, without being greatly excited. A general noise succeeded, for many voices spoke together, uttering cries of surprise, compassion, or fear. It was in vain for the night-watch to expect silence: for once we forgot rules and penances, and gave vent to our feelings, and »he could do nothing 13* TT7.,s^teKS^,S®Bii^a!!^^^^gAie^.S«l^4v6^4^ 150 BLACK MUNNBKT. but call for the Superior. Strange as it may seem, mad Jane Ray, who found an opportunity to make herself heard for an instant, uttered an exclamation in English, which so far from expressing any sym- pathy for the sufferer, seemed to betray feelings hardened to the last degree against conscience and shame. This caused a laugh among some of those who understood her, and had become hardened to their own trials, and of course in a great measure to those of others. I heard a man's voice mingled with the cries and shrieks of the nun. Father Quiblier, of the Semi- nary, I had felt confident, was in the Superior's room at the time when we retired ; and several of the nuns afterward assured me that it was he. The Superior soon made her appearance, and in a harsh manner commanded silence. I heard her threaten gagging her, and then say, " You are no better than anybody else, and if you do not obey, you shall be sent to the cells." One young girl was taken into the Convent du- ring my abode there, under peculiar circumstances. I was acquainted with the whole affiur, as I was employed to act a part in it. Among the novices, was a young lady, of about Mventeen, the daughter of an old rich Canadian. She had been remarkable for nothing that I know o( except the liveliness of her disposition. The Superior once expressed to ua a wish to have her ti a P ti P f I ti t( V n I s 1] 8 fl 8 i c t t t I I BUT. BLACK NCNNBItY. 151 lange as it may seem, n opportunity to make ittered an exclamation 1 expressing any sym- led to betray feelings gainst conscience and I among some of those d become hardened to ) in a great measure to ;led with the cries acd duiblier, of the Semi- vas in the Superior's :etired ; and several of 1 me that it was he. r appearance, and in a silence. I heard her den say, " You are no d if you do not obey, D into the Convent du- )eculiar circumstances, vhole affiur, as I was . young lady, of about m old rich Canadian. T nothing that I know her disposition. The Of a with to have her take the veil, though the girl herself had never had any such intention, that I knew of Why the Su- perior wished to receive her, I could only conjec- ture. One reason might have been, that she ex- pected to receive a considerable sum from her father. She was, however, strongly desirous of having the f m . our community, and one day said: " Let us tal - -' < by a trick, and tell the old man she felt toe ., ■ h ^ to take the veil in public." Uur plans then being laid, the unsuspecting girl was induced by us, in sport, as we told her, and mads her believe, to put on auch a splendid robe as I had worn on my admission, and to pass through some of the ceremonies of taking the veil. After (his, she was seriously informed, that she was con- sidered as having entered the Convent in earnest, and must henceforth bury herself tj the world, as she would never be allowed to leave it. We put on her a nun's dress, though she wept, a )d refused, and expressed the greatest repugnance. The Superior threatened, and promised, and flattered, by turns, until the poor girl had to submit ; but her appear- ance long showed that she was a nun only by com- pulsion. In obedience to the directions of the Superior, we exerted ourselves to make her contented, especially when she was first received, whea we got roond her, and told her we had feh so for a time, but hav> ing itbBe become acquainted with the happ in s M i of "TtH ^•h<^^i^'6m^SimMii»idxiif'i*iia^M h I'l'' \m 152 BtAOK NCNNIKT. a nun'a life, were perfectly content, and would never be willing to leave the Convent. An exception seemed to be made in her favour, in one respect : for I believe no criminal attempt was made upon her, until she had been for sometime an inmate of the nunnery. Soon after her reception, or rather her forcible entry into the Convent, her father called to make inquiry about his daughter. The Superior first spoke with him herself, and then called us to repeat her plausible story, which I did with accuracy. If I had wished to say any thing else, I never should hp ire dared. We told the foolish old man, that his da'.;ghter, whom we all afiectionately loved, had long desired to become a Nun, but had been too humble to wish to appear before spectators, and had, at her own de- sire, been favouied with a private admission into the community. The benefit conferred upon himself and his fami- ly, by this act of self-consecration, I reminded him, must be truly great and valuable ; as every family which furnishes a prieal; or a nun, is justly looked opon as receiving the peculiar favour of heaven on that account. The old Canadian firmly believed every word I wa* forced to tell him, took the event as a great blesaiog, and expressed the greatest read- iness to pay more than the customary fee to the vj^nvent After the interview, he withdrew, prom> ■ ■.t' ■k -trrrx IRT. ntent, and would never fivent. An exception )ur, in one respect : for t was made upon her, ime an inmate of the tr rather her forcible ather called to make The Superior first hen called us to repeat I did with accuracy, ing else, I never should in, that his da::ghter, ived, had long desired en too humble to wish id had, at her own de- rate admission into the I himself and his fami< ition, I reminded him, able ; as every family I nun, is justly looked r favour of heaven on adian firmly believed II him, took the event «sed the greatest read- customary fee to the 7, he withdrew, prom* BLACB NVNNIIIT. 153 ising soon to return and pay a handsome sum to the Convent, which he performed with oil despatch, nnd the greatest cheerfulness. The poor girl never hcnnl that her futher had tnken the trouble to call to see her, much less did she know ony thing of the imposition passed upon him. She remoined in the Convent when I left it. The youngest girl who ever took the veil of our sisterhood, was only fourteen years of age, and con- sidered very pious. She lived but a shon time, I was told that she was ill-treated by the priests, and believed her death was in consequence. '-' 5' -ASiiBr: '•'&tii t i f I I I I CHAPTER XV. htjtutneint Nuticu—mfficuUvnf convincing Ptrumt /rmt the United Staltt—Talt of the Bithop in Iht Cily~Tht BUh«p in Ihi Conttnt-TTii PHtontri in thi Cell*— Prac- tice in Singing— Narrative*— Jane Hay't Ilynnt— The Su- perior'* but IVic/e. It was considered a great duty to exert ourselves to influence novices in favour of the Roman Cath- olic religion ; and- different nuns were, at different times, charged to do what they could, by conversa- . tion, to make favourable impressions on the minds of some, who were particularly indicated to us by the Superior. I often heord it remarked, that those who were influenced with the greatest difficulty, were young ladies from the United States ; and on some of those, greot exertions were made. Coses in which citizens of the States were said to have been converted to the Roman Catholic faith, were sometimes spoken of) and always as if they were considwred highly important. The Bishop, as we were told, was on the public square, on the day of an execution, when, as he said, a stranger looko** p» him in some peculiar manner, which made a. nfidently believe God intended to have him conv ned by his means. When he went home, he wr e a letter for him, and the next day found hipi agai> in the same place, and gar* R XV, ' convincing Ptr$ima /torn Rithop in tht Cily~Tht •itontrt in Iht Ctllt—Prae- \ntHay'* Uymnt—Thi Su- duty to exert ourselves r of the Roman Cath- luns were, at difTerent ey could, by conversa- pressions on the minds riy indicated to us by it remarked, that those :he greatest difficulty, [Jnited States ; and on I were made, the States were said to toman Catholic faith, nd always as if they rtant. Id, was on the public ion, when, as he said, ime peculiar manner, believe God intended s means. When he for him, and the next Kune place, and gtT« BLACK irrNNi»r. 105 him tlis letter, wliicli led to his becoming a Roman Catholic. This man, it wan added, proved to bo a citizen uf tho Stutc<<. The Bishop, as 1 linve /•^marked, was not very dignified on all oci-ii.iions, and sometimes acted in such n mnnner as would not have appeared well in piibliu. One day I saw him preparing for mass ; and be- cause he hid some difRculty in getting on his robe, showed evident signs of anger. One of the nuns remarked : " The Hi.9hop is going to perform a pa*- siunale mass." Some of the others exclaimed : " Are you not ashamed to speak so of my lord Y' And she was rewarded with a penance. But it might be hoped that the Bishop would be free from the crimes of which I have declared so many priests to have been guilty^ I am far from entertaining such charitable opinions of him ; and I had good reasons, afler a time. I was often required to sleep on a sofa, in the room of the present Superior, as I may have alrea* dy mentioned. One night, not long after I was first introduced there, for that purpose, and within the first twelve months of my wearing the veil, having retired as usual, at about half-past nine, not long after we bad got into bed, the alarm-beU from without, which haogs over the Superior's bed, was rupg. She told me to see who was there ; and going di^vm, I heard ■■•i»,'. .IAlidiMiiMW&«dba&itM^UJ>««t«iMs^^ ji;^: 'in :m' f0 IM BLACK IfCXNIRY. the lignnl given, which I have before iticntioncil, a peculiar kind of hisitiiig nouikI macio through the teeth. I answered with a low, " Hum— hum;" ond then opened the door. It wos Bishop Lartiquc, tho present Bishop of Montreal. Ho snid to me, " Are you a Novice or o Ueceivcd?" meaning a Received nun. I onswered, a " Rcceivod." He then requested mo to conduct him to tho Su- perior's room, which I did. Ho went to tho bed, drew the curtains behind him, and I lay down again upon tho sofa, until morning, when the Superior called me, at an early hour, about daylight, and di- rected mc to show him tho door, to wuich I conduct- ed him, and he took his departure. I continued to visit tho cellar frequently, to carry up coal for tho fires, without any thing more than a general impression that there were two nuns some- where imprisoned in it. One day while there on my usual errand, I saw a nun standing on the right of tho cellar, in front of one of the cell doors I had before observed ; she was apparently engaged with something within. This attracted my attention. The door appeared to close in a small recess, and was fastened with a stout iron bolt on the outside, the end of which was secured by being let into a hole in tho stone-work which formed the posts. The door, which was of wood, was sunk a few inches Iwyond the stone-work, which rose and formed an arch oyer- bead. Above the bolt was a small window supplied IRT. ivo biTore mcntiunrd, a tiiid mncit! through the w; " Hum— hum;" ond IS Bishop Lartiquc, tho Ho >nid to me, " Are ?" meaning tt Received ivpd." conduct him to the Su- He went to tho bed, m, nnd I lay down again ng, when the Superior , about daylight, and di- loor, to wiiich I conduct- larture. liar frequently, to carry I any thing more than a 'e were two nuns some- )ne day while there on in standing on the right s of the cell doors I had pparontly engaged with acted my attention. The 1 small recess, nnd was It on the outside, the end ;ing let into a hole in tho the posts. The door, mk a few inches Iwyond ihem. I could never loam. «nd am still as Ignorant of «. ever. Home conjectured lh*t they had refund .0 comply with .o.no of the rule, of the Conv,< or requisition, of the Superior; otherMhut they were heiroMes whow property wa. des.red for the Con- vem. and who would not consent to sign deed, o it. Borne of the nuns informed me, that the "vcrcst of their .uffcrings uroso from fear of supernatural be- '"? often spoke with one of them in passing near their cell., when on errnnds in the cellar, but never ventured to stop long, or to press my "'^'''Jl^'^^ far Resides. 1 found her reserved, and little dis- peed to converse freely. « thi..-? I could not won- dTratwhen I considered her situation, and the char- .cter. of persons around her. She spoke like a woman in feeble health. »"'» "^ ^."^f" "P'""'^; occasionally .aw other nun. .peakmg lo »hem. par- ticularly at mealtimes, when they were regularly furni.hed with food, which WM .uch M we our- '*They cell, were occa.ionaUy cleaned, and then the door, were opened. I never looked into them, but wa. informed that the ground WM *«»' <>" J floor I pie.umed that they were fumiehed wiOi rtraw to lie upon. a. 1 away, ww a quantity^of cdd •traw »^ attered about that part of the celbr, after the eelU nad been cleaned. I once inquired of one of thorn, whether they could, converw together.^and I am still as Ignorant Ithitihey had refuted ilcj of the Convent or othere, thut they wero dciircd for the Con- jnt to iign deodi of it. B, that the ievercdt of ir of supernatural be- ■ ihem in passing near in the cellar, but never ress my inquiries very reserved, and little dis- hii:g I could not won- situation, ond the char- et. She spoke like a »d of broken spirits. I ■peaking to them, par- in they were regularly I VTM sugh as we our- aally cleaned, and then never looked into them, ground waa their only icy were fumiahed with fn saw a quantity of old irt of the celkir, after the once inquired of one of convene together, and BLACK NVNNRRY. m •he replied that i hey could. lhroui(h a small opening between their cpUs, which I could not svo. I once inquired of the one I spoke with m pass- ing, whether she wanted any thing, ond she replied. " Tell Jane Ray II want to see her a moment if sho can slip away." When I went up I took i»n oppor- tunity to deliver my message to Jane, who concert- ed with mo a signal to be used in future, in cose a similar request should be made through me. This was a sly wink at her with one eye, occompanied with a slight toss of my head. She then sought an opportunity to visit the cellar, and was soon ablo to hold an interview ' with the poor prisoners, without be- ing noticed by any one but myself 1 uAer^vard learnt that mad Jane Ray was not so mail, but she could foel for those miserable beings, and carry through measures for their comfort. She would often visit them with sympathising words, and, when necessa- ry, conceal part of her food while at table, and se« cretly convoy it into their dungeons. Sometiraei we would combine for such an object; and I have repeatedly aided her in thus obtaining a iarger sup- ply of food than thoy had been able to obtain from others. . I frequently thought of the two nuns confined in the cells, and occasionally heard something said about them, but very little Whenever I visited the cellar, and thought it safe, 1 went up to the first of them and spoke a word or two, and usually got r.i , .»-, V wJI»1." ..*»aVft«*M^ta«s^e*«iiK!iai«*«>.^'s^^'^ " ■■ 160 •LACK Nl;NNBftf. •oma bri(*f reply, without oKcrtai.iing (htl utj particular chaiigo look place with «ithtr of lh«m. The one with whom alono 1 «'^«r convrried, ipoke Engliah p«rfrclly well, and I>*«tnch I thougia •• well. I ■uppoacd ahe nmat hii>e b«cn well educa- ted, for I could not tell which wn« her native lan- guage. I remember that ahe freo.tly dark, and I never caught the aightett ((iinipao ovun of their fiices. It is probable they wero women not above the middle sise, and my reason for this pre- aumption ia the following: I wax Mimetimea af- pointad to lay out the clean clothes for aJi the nuna in the Convent on Saturday evening, and was al- ways directed to lay by two sui'ia A:r the prisoners. Particular orders were given to select the largest sized garments for several tall nuns ; but nothing a{ the kind was ever said in relativn to the clothes for those in the cells. I had not been long a veiled nun, before I request* cd of the Superior permission to confess to the " Saiot Bon Pasteur," (Holy Good Shepherd,) that (Bftf. iiKcttai.iing that any with eithtr of lh«m. frecKiently uied theie moM to her, and which )ti8ta. gan to confea* aome of my imperfections, whtch lay heavy upon my mind, imploring her aid and inter* ccsaioo, tVtt I might be delivai vd from them. Sht I , il ;' ^ :,^^wBtf'ua^6^iir S faLiLtfr0dMCirri^1iLn.T-*^^^ "■" -'• Sl"f '^* '■^•^'^•f >-''!.**^-W**'' - m •tAOE NUNNBRY. appeared to lirten to me with patience, but itill noTer returned a word in reply. 1 became much affected as I went on. and at length began to weep bitterly ; and when I withdrew, was in teari. It eeemed to mo that my heart was remarkably relieved after this exerciee, and all the requests I had made I found, as I believed, strictly fulfilled. I often, after- ward, visited the old nuns' room for the same pur- pose, and with similar results, so that my belief in the sanctity of the nameless nun, and my regard for her intercession, were unbounded. What is remarkable, though I repeatedly was sent into that room to dust it, or to put it in order, I remarked that the glass case was vacant, and no signs were to be found either of the nun or of the way by which she had left it ; so tha: a solemn con- clusion rested upon my mind, that she had gone on one of her frequent visiu to heaven. A priest would sometimes come in the daytime to teach us to aing, and this was done with some pa- rade or stir, as if it were considered, or meant to be considered, as a thing of importance. The instructions, however, were entirely repe- titions of the words and tunes, nothing being taught even of the first principles of the science. It appear- ed to me, that although hymns alone were sung, the exercise was chiefly designed for our amusement, to raise our spirits a little, which were apt to become depressed. Mad Jane'Ray certainly usually trealwi J**' INBRt. patience, but itill norer I became much affected began to weep bitterly ; in tearf. It aeemed to narkably relieved after requests I had made I fulfilled. I often, after- ' room for the same pur- ilts, so that my belief in I nun, and my regard for funded. lough I repeatedly was it, or to put it in order, I sase was vacant, and no ler of the nun or of the it; so tha: a solemn eon- nd, that she had gone on 3 heaven. es come in the daytime to I was done with some pa- lonsidered, or meant to be nportance. iver, were entirely rape- nea, nothing being taught )f the science. Itappeai- ^ns alone were sung, the ned for our amusement, to rhich were apt to become ly certainly usually treeted BLACK NVNNBIIY. 168 the whole thing as a matter of sport, and often ex- cited those of us who understood English to a great degree of mirth. She had a very fine voice, which was so powerful as generally to be heard above the rest. Sometimes she would be silent when the other nuns began ; and the Superior would often call out, " Jano Ray, you don't sing." She always had some trifling excuse ready, and commonly appeared un- willing to join the rest. After being urged or commanded by the Supe- rior, she would then strike up some English song, or profane parody, which was rendered ten times more ridiculous by the ignorance of the Lady Su- perior and the majority of the nuns. I cannot help laughing now when I remember how she used to stand with perfect composure and sing, " I wish I was married and nothing to me, " With plenty of money and nothing to do." "Jane Ray, you don't sing right," the Superior would exclaim. " Oh," she would reply, with perfect coolness, " that is the English for, " Seigneur Dien de clemenee, " Re(ois ce grand p4cheur ;" and, as sung by her, a person ignorant of the lan- guage would naturally be imposed upon. It was extremely difficult for me to conceal my laughter. I hare alvniys had greater exertion to make in re- m s.i>WiSMSii»»»*uia*"»*.*«'<«i**w,j»i»«*^«^^ 164 BLACK NONNBRT. pressing it than most other persons; and mad Jane Ray often took advantage of this. Saturday evening usually brought with it much unpleasant work for some of us. We received the Sacrament every Sunday ; and in preparation for it, on Saturday evening we asked pardon of the Supe rior and of each other " for the scandal we had caus- ed them since we last received the Sacrament," and then asked the Superior's permission to receive it on the following day. She inquired of qach nun who necessarily asked her permission, whether she, naming her as Saint somebody, had concealed any sin that should hinder her receiving it ; and if tho answer was in the negative, she granted her per- mission. On Saturdays wo were catechised by a priest, be- ing assembled in a community-room. He sat on the right of the door, in a chair. He often told us sto- ries, and frequently enlarged on the duty of enticing novices into the nunnery. » Do you not feel happy," he would say, " now that you are safely out of the world, and sure of heaven ? But remember how many poor people are yet in the world. Every nov- ice you influence to take the black veil, will add to your honour in heaven. Tell them how happy you are." The Superior played one trick while I was in the Convent, which always passed for one of the most admirable she ever carried into execution. We were P b 01 o: P Si b tl te S S 0! tl d( hi ai m S( ei ir d( bi w ai U (CRT. irsons; and mad Jane his. )rought with it much us. We received the 1 in preparation for it, d pardon of the Supe e scandal we had caus- d the Sacrament," and nission to receive it on ired of ^ach nun who nission, whether she, dy, had concealed any ceiving it ; and if tho , she granted her per- itchised by a priest, be- y-room. He sat on the He often told us eto- on the duty of enticing >> you not feel happy," lu are safely out of the t But remember how he world. Every nov- le black veil, will add Tell them how happy trick while I was in the sed for one of the moit ito execution. We were BtAOB HCMNIRT. 163 pretty good judges in a case of the kind, for, as may be presumed, we were rendered familiar with the arts of deception under so accomplished a teacher. There was an ornament on hand in the nunnery, of an extraordinary kind, which was prized at ten pounds; but it had been made and exposed to view so long, that it became damaged and quite unsalea- ble. We were one day visited by an old priest from the country, who was evidently somewhat intoxica' ted ; and as he withdrew to go to his lodgings, in the Seminary, where the country priests often stay, tho Superior conceived a plan for disposing of the old ornament. " Come," said she, " we will send it to the old priest, and swear he has bought it I" We all approved of the ingenious device, for it evi- dently might be classed among the pious frauds we had so often had recommended to us both by precept and example ; and tho ornament was sent to him the next morning, as his property when paid for. He soon came into the Convent, and expres^d the great- est surprise that he had been charged with purchas- ing such a thing, for which he had no need and no. de«!re. The Superior heard his declaration with patience, but politely insisted that it was a &ir bargain ; and we then surrounded the old priest, with the strongest assertions that such was the &ct, and that nobody would ever have thought of his purchasing it un- Um ha hod expressly engaged to take it. The poor old S -:3^JSiww*iifeyW4aK?te ^ . ■■'.-■iH:^a. cNMii^s^iissitg^^^j.mi^m''i!vm^i»t^!^*t^-- 166 BtACK NVNKCIIV. man was entirely put down. He was certain of the truth : but what could ho do to resist or disprove a direct falsehood pronounced by the Superior of a Convent, and sworn to by oil her holy uuna t He finally expressed his conviction that we were right; ho was compelled to pay his money. 3^ ,.* (3 KCRV. He was certain of the to resist or disprove a 1 by the Superior of a ill her holy uuna t Ha ion that we were right ; I money. ' #* 4 •• * CHAPTER XVI. Prt "bominable as they I -aetised, and tttm.mam^ ^^ •™°* °^ *® P****' women, under ^-M^S^^ punishments, and even of death. I-llSpN^ *» "*y ***^ ''*' strongest con A i «l l SmUK0 ^^^ °^^ T^ became lost to M n' jMBjl"^ tirtueand hon- OUT, wpeciaUy OM l^i M pP^F"^""'^ N""** 1^ I t^^i^iafii/^ii'^'- I .**''%®v l«8 BL&OB NCNMBBT. nery whom I have before tnrntioned, Saint Patrick the greater part of them loathed the practices to which they were compelled to lubmit, by the Supe- rior and priests, who kept them under so dreadful a bondage. Some of the priests whom I saw I never knew by name, and the names of others I did not learn for a time, and at last learnt only by accident. They were always colled " Mon pere," my fa- ther ; but sometimes when they had purchased some- thing in the ornament-room, they would give their real names, with directions where it should be sent, Many names, thus learnt and in other ways, were whispered about from nun to nun, and became pret- ty generally known. Several of the priests, some of us had seen before we entered the Convent. Many things of which I speak, from the nature of the case, must necessarily rest chiefly upon my own word, until further evidence can be obtained : but there are some facts for which I can appeal to the knowledge of others. It is commonly known in Montreal that aooM of ^ pnriests occasional!]' withdraw from their faf$§0,t$ ^ployments, and are not to be seen tUfk ll&M^l; being understood that they have and devotion, fi Sometimes th^ for weeks : bttt This was • Ali iKS? m i^Aidy, meditation, [ , and cheerfully to inb- BLACK KVN!(KRT. 171 mit to severe penances on account of them, aa the only means of mortifying our evil dispositions, and resisting the temptations of tho devil. Thus wo L'nrnt in n good degree to resist our minds and con- sciences, when wo felt the first rising of a question uboui the duty of doing any thing required of ua. To eiifDrco this upon us, they employed varioaa means. Some of tho most striking stories told us at catechism by the priests, were designed for this end. One of these I will repent. One day, aa n priest assured us who was hearing us say the cat- echism on Saturday afternoon, as one Monsieur • • • •, a well-known citizen of Montreal, waa walking near tho cathedral, ho saw Satan giving orders to numerous evil spirits who had assembled around him. Being ufraid of being seen, and yet wishing to observe what was done, he hid himself where he could observe all that passed. Satan dea* patched his devils to diflTerent jmrts of the city, witii directions to do their best for him ; and they return- ed in a short time, bringing in reports of their sue. ceaa in leading persons of different classes to the commission of various sins, which they thought would be agreeable to their master. Satan, however, expressed his dissatiafiiction, and ordered them- out again ; but just then a apirit from the Black Nun- nery came, who had not been seen before, and stated that he had been trying for seven years to persuade one of the nuns to doubt, and had just succeeded. "-gt^WWl*»» uch new penances as I too would occasional- express such doubts ; St solemnly warned by Francis. Occasionally > further, and resist the nposed upon them ; and ir screams, sometimes ol kind, from nuns suffer- feel disponed to exclaim ings, which will strike bominable. To such, I ing to justify myself — sition in which I waa gnorant of any other re- e second, met at every argument, and the ei- y, who received all the I of undoubted truth, and ■ LACK NDNKERY. 173 practised upon thrni. Of the vaiiely and specioua- ness of lh«i arguments used, you cannot have any correct idea. Thoy voro oAen so rcody with re- plies, examples, aneciiotes, and authorities, to enforce their doctrines, that it seemed to me they could never have learnt it all from bouUi, but must have been taught by wicked spirits. Indeed, Avhen I reflect upon their conversations, I am astonished at their art and address, and find it difficult to account for their subtlety and siKceas in influencing my mind, and persuading mo \o any thing they pleased. U 8(!«ins to me, that hardly anybody would be safe in their hands, If you were to go to confeuion twice, I believe you would feel very different from what you do now. They have such a way of avoiding one thing, and speaking of another, of affirming this, and doubting or disputing thot, of quoting Au* thorities, and speaking of wond«;rs and miracles re- cently performed, in confirmation of what thoy teach, as familiarly known to persons whom they coll by name, and whom they pretend to offer as witnesses^ though they never give you an opportunity to apeak with them — these, and many other means, they use in such a way, that they always blinded my mind, and, I should think, woitld blind the minds of others. 16* if I I I I I \$ OnAPTBR XVII. Trtatmint nf ycung W*nU in Ih* Cmtunl-mklng in ISl*ii^-Amuiimintr-Ctr*moniu al th* public intirmtnlqf dttKUMl Nunr-SHddindi$aptMarann 9/ lh» Old Suptritr —hUrodutlian cidont that I was theit present 80 Ikr as I know, there were no pains taken to preserve secrecy on this subgec* ; that is, I saw no attempt made to keep any of the inmates of the OonTSOt in ignoruM of th« murder of eLildren. On tha contrary, others w«r« told, at well as mjMU; on their Ibral admission 1)1 : "p^i'" *i^ ^.-^teit^^r ■-•j-^tnut » 176 BLACK NUNNSAY. OS veiled nuns, ths'^t all infants bom in the place were baptized and killed, without loss of time; and I had been called to 'ivitness the murder of the three just mentioned, only because I happened to be in the room at the tinte. That others xvi^ie killed in the same manner du> ring my stay in tho nunnery, I am well assured. How many th^ro were I cannot tell, and having taken no account of those I heard of, I cannot speak with precision; I belie-'e, however, that i learnt through nuns, that at least eighteen or twenty infants were smothered, and secretly buried in tho cellar, while I was a nun. One of the eiltwis of the weariness of cur bodies and tninds, was cur proneness to talk in our sleep. It was both ludicrous and painful to hear the nuns repeat their prayers in the course of the night, as they frequently did in their dreams. Required to kee^ our minds continually on the stretch, both in wriching our conduct, in remembering-the rules and oar prayers, under the fear of the consequences of any neglect, when wo closed our eyes in sleep, we often went over again the scenes of the day ; and it was no uncommon thing for me to hear a nun re- peat one or two of our long exercises in the dead (f night Sometimes, bythe time she had finished, mother, in a different part of the room, would bap< P'.!n to take a similar turn, and commence a similai rccitatiou , and I have known cases in which sevem) r--^ a > v» . *■ <» j JJswgty wnww*tMit rt NNSRY. Its bom in the place were t loss of time ; and I had Tiurder of the three just happened to be in the in the same manner du< y, I am well assured, cannot tell, and having [ heard of, I cannot speak however, that i learnt ightecn or twenty infants Ely buried in the cellar, weariness of cur bodies less to talk in our sleep, painful to hear the nuns course of the night, as ir dreams. Required to on the stretch, both in membering-the rules and r of the consequences of id our eyes in sleep, we eenes of the day ; ■ and it >r me to hear a nun re- ^ exercises in the dead le time she had finished, 9f the room, would bap< md commence a aimilai u cases in which seveta) BLACK NVNNBRT. 177 such unconscious exercises were performed, all within an hour or two. We had now and then a recreation-day, when we were relieved from our customary labour, and from all prayers except those for morning and evening, and the short ones said at every striking of the clock. The greater part of our time was then occupied ■ with different games, particularly backgammon and drafts, and in such conversation as did not relate to our past lives, and the outside of the Convent. Sometimes, however, our sports would be interrupt- ed on such days by the entrance of one of the priests, who would come in and propose that his f£te, the birthday of his patron saint, should be kept by " tho saints." f^e saints I Severtll^ huns died at diSerent times while I was in the Convent, how many I cannot say, but thero was a considerable number: I might rather say many in proportion to the number in the nunnery. The proportion of deathi; I am sure was very large. There were always some in the nuns' sick-rooms, and se/eral interments took place in the chapel. When a Black nun is, dead, the corpse is dressed as if living, and placed in the chapel in a sitting posture, within the railing round the altar, with a book in the hand, as if reading. Persons are then fireoly admitted from the street, and some of them kneel and pray before it. No particular notoriety is given, I believe, to this exhibition out of the Con- • ■■; k ^fc»— ^ • j^'^^^jjjgg^J^}Bfey.sR,5j(.alfci(Ji»,^»#iCft\,^ v'^«*<*»=ia^*»*.'-^="'-t^>ut >»< from Europe. She was known to have taken thfc black veil ; but as I was not acquainted with the name of the Saint she had assumed, and I could not 1^ KCRY. xy. Slill, I presumed lirit Ignaco must have nd I felt great dread at cellar again. I deter- ination of the terrified 1 her on the subject, at portunity I could find, ays trying to make her jff to another group in ain no satisfaction, our nunnery, we were the means of knowing There were many nuns } this day, after having ith them every day and was a nun, whom I sup- nd whom ^ was anxious I the time of my entrance i able to learn any thing irhether she was in the re or dead. She was the residing at Point aux leard my mother speak 'nt. The name of lier e, and she was thought as known to have taken not acquainted with the Muijued, and I could not nLACK NVNNERT. 183 describe her in "the world," all my inquiries and observations proved entirely in vain. I had heard before my entrance iiiSo the Convent, that one of the nuns had made her escape from it during the last war, and once inquired about her of the Superior. She odmitted that such was the fact ; but I was never able to learn any p'lrticulars con- cerning her name, origin, or manner of escape. S, ^^'\ ^- .ji^:^^cvW/*'i*** h^-'j^tri ( ' CHAPTER XVIII. DiMpptaranti t^f Xun$—St. Pltrrt—Gagi—yfi/ limporaij Con/intiitinl in a t'«W— 7'.W Cholera Season— lloie loatoUl i<— Octupa/iHiiJ in lite Convent during the Pestilence — ^tan• vj'aeture of Wax CandUt—'l'he F.ltHiun liiufe— Alarm among Ike \uns~ Prepat^tions/or I)f/tnce— Penances. I AM unable to say how many nuns disappeared while I wns in the Convent. There were several. One was a young lady ruUcd Saint Pierre, I thinU, but am not certain of her name. There were two nuns by this name. I had known her as a novice with me. She had been a novice about two years and a half before I became one. She was rather large without being tall, and had rather dark hair and eyes. She disappeared unaccountably, and nothing was said of her except what I heard in whispers from a few of the nuns, us we found mo- ments when we could speak unobserved. Some told me they thought she must have left the Convent; and I might have supposed so, had I not some time oAerward found some of her things lying about, which she would, in such a case, cioubt- less have taken with her. I never had known any thing more of her than what I could observe or con jeuture. I had always, however, the idea that her pa -?<»'rf i^;-^, BLACE NUNNBIIT- 18S XVIII. \TT*—Cag»—yty Umporar) leva Seaiun—lloig toatoUl uringtkt PttUUnc*—Mun- ie fUectiun liiolt—Alarm fur J)e/eiict— Penances. nany nuns disappeared There were several. 1 Saint Pierre, I tliink, unc. There were two cnown her as a novice [lovice about two years ! one. Sho was rather 1 had rather dark hair d unaccountably, and :cept what I heard in nuns, as we found nao- unobserved, ht sho must have left ivc supposed so, had I nd some of her things i, in such a case, doubt- nover had known any I could observe or con trer, the idea that her pa rents or friends were wealthy, for sh« •ometimes re- ceived clothes and other things, which were very rich. Another nun, named Saint Paul, died suddenly ; but as in other cases, we knew so little, or rather were so entirely ignorant of the cause and circum- stances, that we could only conjecture ; and being forbidden to converse freely on that or any other subject, thought but little about it. I have mention- ed that a number of veiled nuns thus mysteriously disappeared durinor my residence among them. I cannot perhaps recall them all, but I am confident there were as many as five, and I think more. All that we knew in such cases was, that one of our number who had appeared as usual when last ob- served, was nowhere to be seen, and never was again. Mad Jane Ray, on several such occasions, would indulge in her bold, and, as we thought, dan- gerous remarks. She had intimated that some of those, who had been for a time in the Convent, Mere by some means removed to make way for new ones; and it was generally the fact, that the disappearance of one and the introduction of another into our communHy, we«e nearly at the same time. I have repeatedly heard Jane Ray say, with one of her significant looks, "When you appear, some- body else disappears !" . It is unpleasant enough to distress or torture one's self; but there is something worse in being tor- mented by others, especially where they resort to 16» 'M -Ji,wi;^Hr*ic"ABW«lfe*e".-- - - • ?:'\ 186 ■ LACK NVNNIIIV. r force, and show a pleakure in compelling you, and leave you no hope to earape, or opportunity to resist. I had seen the gain's repeatedly in use, and some* times applied with a roughness which seemed ra- ther inhuman ; but ii is one thing to see and an- other thing to feel. There were some of the old nuns who seamed to take pleasure in oppressing those who fell under their displeasure. They wero ready to recommend a resort to compulsory meas< ures, and ever ready to run for the gags. These were kept in one of the community-rooms, in a draw- er between two closets ; and there a stock of about fifty of them was always kept in deposite. Sometimes a number of nuns would prove refractory at a time ; and I have seen battles commenced in which 8cv> eral appeared on both sides. The disobedient wero, however, soon overpowered; and to prevent their ■creams from being heard beyond the walls, gag- ging commenced immediately. I have seen half a dozen lying gagged and bound at once. I have been subjected to the same state of invol- untary silence more than once : for sometimes I be- came excited to a state of desperation by the meas- ures used against me, and then conducted in a man- ner perhaps not less violent than some others. My hands have been tied behind me, and a gag put into my mouth, sometimes with such force and rudeness as to lacerate my lips and cause the blood to flow freely. ,? A fr' :'^^ IRV. n compelling you, and )r opportunity to resist. !dly in use, and some* OSS which ■cumcd ra- thing to see and an- ivcre some of the old leasure in opprcssini;^ pleasure, They were to compulsory meas< for the gaga. These mity-rooms, in a draw- there a stock of about n deposite. Sometimes e refractory at a time ; ncnced in which scv- The disobedient were, and to prevent their eyond the walls, gag- r. I have seen half a d at once. le same state of invol- 9 : for aometimea I be- >eiation by the meaa- n conducted in a man- tan some others. My I me, and a gag put with such force and a and cauae the blood ■tAOl NVNNinr. 187 Treatment of this kind is apt to teach submisaior and many times I have acquiesced under orders . ceived, or wishes expressed, with a fear of a recur- rence to some severe measurra. One day I had incurred the anger of the Supe- rior in a greater degree than usual, and it was or- dered that I should be taken to one of the cells. I was taken by some of the nuns, bound and gngged, carried down the stairs into the cellar, and laid upou the floor. Not long afterward I induced one of the nuns to request the Superior to come down and see me; and on making some acknowledgment I wna released. I will, however, relate this story rather more in detail. On that day I had been engaged with Jane Ray, in carrying into effect a plan of revenge upon an- other person, when I fell under the vindictive spirit of aome of the old nuna, and auflered aeverely. The Superior ordered me to the cells, and a scene of violence commenced which I will not attempt to describe, nor the prcciae circumatancea which led to it, Suffice it to aay, that after exhauating tn^ atrength, by reaisting aa long aa I could agamat aeveral nuna, I had my handa drawn behind my back, a leathern band paaaed first round my thumba, then round my handa, and then round my waiat, and faatened. Thia waa drawn ao tight that it cut through the fleah of my thumba, making wounds, the scan of which atill remain. A gag waa then ^^ 3(;a***^»»>*«***.S*UUe,W--^.-* t i J 188 ■LACK NCNNIRr forced into my mouth, not indeed m violently oi it •omotimee wae, but roughly enough ; after which I WDi taken hv main force, and carrieu down into the cfllur. acrr^« it almost to the opposite extremity, ntid brought .0 the la«t of the icoord r^nge of colU on the left hand. The door wan ojvsr.ed, and I wiis thrown in with violence, and left alone, tho doc being immediately clo«ed and bolted on the ounido. Tho bare ground was under me, cold and hard ai if it had been beaten down evon. I lay "till in the :vo8ilion in which I had fallen. a« it would have been .fflcult for me to move, confined as I won, and ex- hauitcd by my exertiona ; and the shock of my fall, and my wretched state of desperation and fear disin- clined me from any further attempt. I was in al- most total darkness, there being nothing perceptible except a slight glimmer of light which came in through the little window far above me. How long I remained in that condition I can only conjecture. It seemed to me a long time, and must have been two or three hours. I did not move, ex- pecting to die there, and in a state of distress which 1 cannot describe, from the tight bandage about my hands, and the gag holding my jaws apart at their greatest extension. I am confident I must have died before morning, if, as I then expected, I had been left thera all night. By-and-by, however, the bolt was drawn, tho door opened, and Jane Ray apoke to me in a tone of kindness. She had taken an op- W. ♦rai,.^''>««r^;V'iR„i.3" u [• Mr. |e«d to violently as it nou((i> ; ol^sf which 1 carried down into the le oppo«it« extremity, ■ccord range of colU van opflr «^as IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) i.O I.I 1.25 14^ illM m 1.4 12.5 2.2 1.6 P^ <^ / '» ,>. 'h ^ c%. vV •: Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 A CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHM/ICMH Collection de microfiches. Canadian institute for Historical Microreproductions / Institut Canadian de microreproductions historiques BLACB NVNNCRT. m portunity to slip into the cellar unnoticed, on pur- pose to see me. She unbound the gag, took it out of my mouth, and told me she would do any thing to get me out of that dungeon. If she had had the bringing of me down, she would not have thrust me so brutally, and she would be resented on those who had. She offered to throw herself upon her knees before the Superior and beg her forgiveness. To this I would not consent; but told her to ask the Superior to come to me, as I wished to speak to her. This I had no idea she would condescend to do; but *ane had not been gone long before tne Superior came, and asked if I repented in the sight of God for what I had done, I replied in the affirmative; and after a lecture of some length on the pain 1 had given the Virgin Mary by my conduct, she asked whether I was willing to ask pardon of all the nuns for the scandal I had caused them by my behaviour. To this I made no objection , and I was then re- leased from my prison and my bonds, went up to the community-room, and kneeling before all tlie sisters in succession, begged the forgiveness and prayers of each. Among the marks which I still bear of the wounds received from penances and violence, are the scars left by the belt with which I repeatedly tortured myself, for the mortification of my spirit These are most distinct on my side; for although the band, which was four or fir? inches in tanwMii '^', -:snmiitemi 190 BLACK NCNNKRV. and extended round the waist, was atuek full of sharp iron points in all parts, it was some* times crowded most against my side, by resting in my chair, and then the wounds were usually deeper there than anywhere else. My thumbs were several times cut severely by the tight drawing of the band usea to confine my arms, and scars are still visible upon them. The rough gagging which I several times en- dured wounded my lips very much ; for it was com- mon, in that operation, to thrust the gag hard against the teeth, and catch one or both the lips, which were sometimes cruelly cut The object was to stop the screams tnade by the offender as soon as possible ; and some of the old nuns delighted in tormenting us. A gag was once forced into my mouth which had a large splinter upon it, and this cut through my under lip, in front, leaving to this day a scar about half an inch long. The same lip was several times wounded aa well as the other ;- but one day worse than ever, when a narrow piece was cut off from the leR side of it, by being pinched between the gag and the under fore-teeth ; and this has left an inequality in it which is still very observable. One of the most shocking stories I heard of eventf that had occurred in the nunnery before my acquaintanfe with it, was the following, which waa told me bf^ane Ray. What is uncommon. I can fix the date when I heard it. It was on New* .'..^ta^**: (BRV. vaist, was stuck full 1 parts, it was some* my side, by resting in ds were usually deeper times cut severely by fid usea to confine my >le upon them, h I several times en- much ; for it was com- ist the gag hard against >th the lips, which were ! object was to stop the 3r as soon as possible ; lelighted in tormenting into my mouth which and this cut through iring to this day a scar le same lip was several the other ;- but one day arrow piece was cut off ng pinched between the ; and this has left an very observable, ing stories I heard of the nunnery before my B following, which was It is uncommon. I can it. It was on I7ew> BLACK NVNNBRV. 191 Year's day, 1834. The ceremonies, customary in the early part of that day, had been performed; after mass, in the morning, the Superior had shaken hands with all the nuns, and given us her blessing, for she was said to have received power from heaven to do so only once a year, and then on the first day of the year. Besides this, cakes, raisins, Ac, are dis- tributed to the nuns on that day. While in the community-room, I had taken a seat just within the cupboard-door, where I often found a partial shelter from observation with Jane, when a conversation incidentally began between us. Our practice ,ften was, to take places there beside one of tho o. J nuns, awaiting the time when she would go away for a little while, and leave us por- tially screened from the observation of others. On that ooeasion, Jane and I were left for a time dione; when, after some discourse on suicide, she remark- ed that three nuns once killed themselves in the Convent This happened, she said, not long after her reception, and I knew, therefore, that it wai several years before, for she had been received a considerable time before I had become a novice. Three young ladies, she informed me, took the veil together, or very near the same time, I am not cer- tain which. I know they have four robeain the C nary, Jane Ray added, and that she believed my thing was wrong ^polite, however, had the morning, after the lyers, lying lifeless in , their death was not I, instead of being ex* Ehapel, and afterward «th it, were taken un- r, and thrown into the id. es, and only a few, in hat was happening in jt knowledge did not : can recall but three of them were when >ntreal ; and the other he appearance of the of its ravages, gave BLACK NUNNERY. 193 us abundance of occupation. Indeed, we were more borne down by hard labour at those times, than ever before or afterward during my stay. The Pope had given early notice that the burning of wax candles would aflbrd protection from the dis- ease, because so long os any person continued to bum one, the Virgin Mary would intercede for him. No sooner, therefore, had the alarming disease made its appearance in Montreal, than a long wnx candle was lighted in the Convent for each of the inmates, so that all parts of it in use were artificially illuminated day and night. Thus a great many candles were constantly burning, which were to be replaced from those manufactured by the nuns. But this was a trifle. The Pope's message having been promulged in the Grey Nunnery, the Con- gregational Nunnery, and to Catholics at large, through thti putpits, an extraordinary demand was created for wax candles, to /upply which we were principally depended upon. All who could be em- ployed in making them were therefore set at work, and I, among the rest, assisted in diflerent depart- ments, and witnessed all. Numbers of the nuns had been long fiimiliar with the business; for a very considerable amount of wax had been annually manufactured in the Con- vent; but now the works were much extended, and other occupations in a great degree laid aside. Large ({aantities of wax were received in the build- 17 Ei ti. 3iii;l Vr i-i 'M ill"''! ^!«*»»«»s^^ 190 BLACK NVNMHY. 1» partj of the nunnery, and MCtrtained. to my own naiisl'action, that there wna a larje quantity of gun- powder wored in lome aecret place within the walle, and that soine of it was removed, or prepared for uie, under the direction of the Superior. Ptnanee$.—^l have mentioned aevoral penance*, in different porte of thie narration, which we lome- limes hud to perform. There is a great variety ot ihem ; and, while some, though trilling in appear- once, became very painful, by long endurance, or frequent repetition ; others aro severe in their na- ture, and would never be submitted to unless through fear of something worse, or a real belief in their efficacy to remove ffiiilt. I will mention here such in I recollect, which can be named without offend- ing a virtuous ear ; for some there were, which, al- though I have been compelled to submit to, either by a misled conscience, or the fear of severe punish- menu, now that I am better able to judge of my duties, and at liberty to act. I would not mention or describe. Kissing the floor, is a very common penance; kneeling and kissing the feet of the other nuns, is another ; as are kneeling on hard peas, and walking with them in the shoes. We had repeatedly to walk on our knees through the subterranean pass- age, leading to the Congregational Nunnery ; and sometimes to eat our meals with a rope round our necks. Sometimes we were fed only with such things as we most disliked. Garlic was given to MY. * "•• ..^ iietrtained, to my own larg« quantity of gun- place within the walii, lovad, or prepared for te Superior, med several penance*, mtion, which we lome- re is a great variety nt ugh trifling in appear- by long endurance, or iro severe in their na- mittcd to unless through r a real belief in their will mention here such named without offend- e there were, which, ai- led to submit to, either le fear of severe punish- ble to judge of my duties, nut mention or describe, rery common penance; jt of the other nuns, is I hard peas, and walking We had repeatedly to I the subterranean pass- ■gational Nunnery; and with a rope round our fe fed only with such . Garlic was given to ■LAOR NCNNIKV. 107 me on this account, because I had a strong antipa- thy against It. Eels were repeatedly given to some of us, because we felt an unconquerable repugnance to them, on account of reports we had heard of their feeding on dead carcasses, m the river St. Lawrence. It was no uncommon thing for us to be r^iquired to drink the water in which the Superior had washed her feet. Sometimes we were required to brand ourselves with a hot iron, so as to leave scars ; at other times to whip our naked flesh with several small rods, before a private altar, until we drew blood. I can assert with the perfect knowledge of the fact, that many of the nuns bear the scars of these wounds. One of our penances was to stand for a length of time, with our arms extended, in imitation of the Saviour on the cross. The Chtmin dt la Croix, or Road to the Cross, is, in fact, a penance, though it consists of a variety of prostrations, with the repe- tition of many prayers, occupying two or three hours. This we had to perform frequently, going into the chapel, and falling before each chapelle in succession, at each time commemorating some par- ticular act or circumstance reported of the Saviour's progress to thk place of his crucifixion. Sometimes we were obliged to sleep on the floor in the winter, with nothing over us but a single sheet ; and some- times to chew a piece of window-glan to a fin* powdw, in the presence of the Superior. I7» *• •«^'-- - - V ^ ■1401 NONNIIT. W« liod lomfltimtt to wetr lealbern belts ituck full of ^Irnrp metallic pointi, round our wniitt, and the upper part of uur arms, bound on to light that they penetrated the flesh and drew blood. Boino of the penances were so severe, that they seemed too much to be endured; and when they were impoied, the nuns who were to suffer them, sometimes showed the most violent repugnance. They would ol\cn resist, and still oAcncr express their opposition by exclamations and screams. Never, however, wos ony noise heard from them for a long time, for there was a remedy olwnys ready to be applied in cases of the kind. The gag which was put into the mouth of the unfortunote Saint Froncis, had been brought from a place where there were forty or fifty others, of different shapes and sixes. These I have seen in their depository, which is a drawer between two closets, in nnn of the community-rooms. Whenever any loud noiso was made, one of these instruments was demanded, and gagging commenced at once. I have known many, many instances, and sometimes five or six nuns gagged at once. Sometimes they would be* come so much excited before they could be bound and gagged, that considerable force whs necessary to be exerted; and I have seen the blood flowing from mouths into which the gag had been thnift with violence. Indeed I ought to know something on this depart* i. tNIIT. Btr leathern belts tluck I, round our wnittt, and , bound on lo light that d drew blood, •re to Mvere, that they Jured ; and when thry ho were to luflVr them, )it violfnt repugnance, nd Mill oAcncr expreu iona and tcreami. r noise heard from them was a remedy always 1 of the kind. The gag outh of the unfortunate Mght from a place where icrs, of different shapes leen in their depository, two doMts, in one of hcnever any loud noiso iruments was demanded. It once. I have known 1 sometime* five or six metimes they would be- tre they could be bound ble force was necessary seen the blood flowing le gag bad been thrust lomathing on this depart* ■tACI NtNtlltT. 190 ment of nunnery diKipline : I have had It tried upon myself, and I can bear witness that it is not only most humilioting and oppressive, but often extreme- ly painful, The mouth is kept forced open, and the straining of the jows at their utmost stretch, for ft considerable time, in very distressing. One of the worst punishments which I ever saw inflicted, was that with a cap ; and yet some of tho old nuns were permitted to inflict it at their pleon- lire, I have repeatedly known them to go for n cap! when one of our number had transgressed a rule, sometimes though it were a very unimportant one. These cap* were kept in a cupboard in iho old nuns' room, whence they were brought when wanted. They were small, mode of a reddish looking leather, fitted closely to the head, and fastened under the chin with a kind of buckle. It was the com- mon practice to tie the nun's hands behind and gag her befoie the cap was put on, to prevent noise and resistance. I never saw it worn by any for one moment, without throwing them in severe suffering*. If permitted, they would scream In the most shock- ing manner ; and always writhed as much as their confinement would allow. I can apeak ftom per- sonal knowledge of this punishment, as I have en- dured it more than once; and yet I have no idea of the cause of the pain. I never examined one of the cap*, nor saw the inside, for they are always broogW itnwnriu»w»r'^v •^lOMM^itr^o'^iMamitmui m ia i i'ii MiVtiiS t 't iii^^ i> II,. I •00 BLACK NUNNERY. and taken away' quickly ; but although the first sen* sotion was that of coolness, it was hardly put on my head before a violent and indescribable sensation began, like that of a blister, only much more m<:up- portable ; and this continued until it was removed. It would produce such ^^ tMvAe pain as to throw us into convulsions, and I think no human being could endure it for an hour. AAer this punishment, we felt its effects through the system for many days. Having once known what it was by experience, I held the cap in dread, and whenever I was con- demned to sufler the punishment again, felt ready to do any thing to avoid it. But when tied and gag- ged, with the cap on my head again, 1 could only sink upon the floor, and roll about in anguish until it was taken off This was usually done in about ten mmutes, sometimes less, but the pain always continued in my head for several days. I thought that it might take away a person's reason if kept on a much longer time. If I had not been gagged, I am sure I should have uttered awful screams. I have felt the eflects for a week. Sometimes fresh cabbage leaves were applied to my head to remove it. Having had no opportunity to examine my head, I cannot say more. 1 ERT. t although the first sen* was hardly put on my indescribable sensation >nly much more m<:up- until it was removed, ute pain as to throw us no human being could r this punishment, we ystem for many days. t was by experience, I whenever I was con- «nt again, felt ready to tut when tied and gag- td again, 1 could only about in anguish until 1 about ten mmutes, Iways continued in my igbt that it might take pt on a much longer ^d, I am sure I should I have felt the eflects 1 cabbage leaves were B it. Having had no sad, I cannot say more. CHAPTER XIX. 'Jli, PunUhmenl nf th* Cap-The PnttU qf theDUtrict **' ■. -i'«wwSS sw •■. '4 202 BLACK NVNHHT. it be necessary to the accomplishment of my object, which is, the publicotion of but some of their criminality to the world, ond the development, in general terms, of scenes thus for carried on in se- cret within the walls of that Convent, where I was so long an inmate. Secure against detection by the world, they never believed that an eyewitness would ever etcapo to tell of their crimes, and declare some of their names before the world ; but the time hos come, ond some of their deeds of darkness must come to the day. I have seen in the nunnery, the priests from more, I presume, than a hundred country places, admitted forshomeAil and criminal purposes: from St. Charles, St. Denis, St. Morks, St. Antoine, Chombly, Bertier, St. John's, &c. &c. How unexpected to them will be the disclosures I moke ! Shut up in a place from which there has been thought to be but one way of egress, and that the passage to the grave, they considered themselves safe in perpetrating crimes in our presence, and in making us share in their criminality as often as they chose, and conducted more shamelessly thon even the brutes. These debauchees would come in with- out ceremony, concealing their names, both by night and day. Being within the walls of that prison-house of death, where the cries and pains of the injured innocence of their victims could never reach the world, for reliefer redress for their wrongs ^s *fc*iWiW> •:*l' ' ^ Ju-.- MHT. ilishment of my object, )f but some of their d the development, in IS far carried on in se- Convent, where I was Y the world, they never would ever etcapo to ire some of their names (le has come, and some nust come to the day. the priests from more, ountry places, admitted rposcs: from St. Charles, oine, Chambly, Bertier, will be the disclosures e from which there has ray of egress, and that y considered themselves in our presence, and in nninality as often as they shamelessly than even :es would come in with- their names, both by ithin the walls of that e the cries and pains of sir victims could never redress for their wrongs, nLAOK NVNNEIIT. 208 without remorse or shame, they would glory, not only in sating their brutal passions, but even in tor- turing, in the most barbarous manner, the feelings of those under their power; telling us, at the same time, that this mortifying the flesh was religion, and pleasing to God. The more they could torture us, or make us violate our own feelings, the more pleasure they took in their unclean revelling ; and all their brutal obscenity they called meritorious be- fore God. We were sometimes invited to put ourselves to voluntary suflerings in a variety of ways, not for a penance, but to show our devotion to God. A priest would sometimes say to us — •* Now, which of you have love enough for Jesus Christ to stick a pin through your checks 1" Some of us would signify our readiness, and im- mediately thrust one through up to the head. Some- times he would propose that we should repeat the operation several times on the spot; and the cheeks of a number of nuns would be bloody. There were other acts occasionally proposed and consented to, which I cannot n&me in a book. Such the Superior would sometimes command us to per- form; many of them things not only useless and un- heard of| but loathsome and indecent in the highest possible dsgree. How they could ever have been invented I never could conceive. Things were done worse than the entire exposure of the person, ■i'l ^ '. > ■.:- * -..TWrf^^i. S04 BLACK NONNERV. though this W08 oci^Bionally required of several at once, in the presence of priests. The Superior of the Seminary would sometimes come and inform us, that he had received orders from the Pope, to request that those nuns who pos- ticssed the greatest devotion and faith, should be re- quested to perform some particular deeds, which he named or described in our presence, but of which no decent or moral person could ever endure to speak. I cannot repeat what would injure ony ear, not de- based to the lowest possible degree. I am bound by a regard to truth, however, to confess, that de- luded women were found among us, who would comply with those requests. There was a great difference between the charac- ters of our old and new Superior, which soon be- came obvious. The former used to say she liked to walk, because it would prevent her from becom- ing corpulent. She was, therefore, very active, and constantly going about from one part of the nunnery to another, overseeing us at our various employ- ments. I never saw in her any appearance of timidity: she seemed, on the contrary, bold and masculine, and sometimes much more than that, , cruel and cold-blooded, in scenes calculated to over- come any common person. Such a character she had particularly exhibited at the murder of Saint Francis. The new Superior, on the other hand, waa ao . *Qv ,^'r ' ^,,^.llrt*ftS^ ^ INERY. f required of several at 'StS. inary would sometimes le had received orders lat those nuns who pos- and faith, should be re- ticular deeds, which he presence, but of which lid ever endure to speak, injure any ear, not de- B degree. I am bound irer, to confess, that de- among us, who would nee between the charac- iiperior, which soon be- r used to say she liked ;)revent her from becom- lerefore, very active, and one part of the nunnery at our various employ- ler any appearance of the contrary, bold and much more than that, eenes calculated to over- Such a character she at the murder of Baint the other hand, waa so BLACK NtX.NERY. 205 heavy and lame, that slio walked with much dilTi- ciiity, and consequently exercised a less vigilant oversigiit of the nuns. She was also of a timid dis- position, or else had been overcome by some grt-nt fright in her past life; fur she was apt to become alarmed in the night, and never liked to be alone in the dark. She had long performed the part of oii old nun, which is that ot a spy upon the younger ones, and was well known to us in that character, under the name of Ste. Margarite. Soon after her promotion to the station of Superior, she appointed mc to sleep in her apartment, and assigned mc a sofa to lie upon. One night, while I was asleep, she suddenly threw herself upon me, and exclaimed in great alaim, "Oh I mon Dieul mon Dieu! Qu'est que qa ?" Oh, my God I my God ? What is that 7 I jumped up and looked about the room, but saw nothing, and endeavoured to convince her that there was nothing extraordinary there. But she msisted that a ghost had come and held her bed- curtain, so that she could not draw it. I examined it, and found that the curtain had been caught by a pin in the valance, which had held it back ; but it was impossible to tranquillize her for some time. She insisted on my sleeping with her the rest of the night, and I stretched myself across the foot of her bed, and slept there till morning. Daring the last part of my stay in the Convent, i was often employed in attmding in the hospitals. *.' 18 t-*)uitiuiMM>ilim^S)m>&K' sod •LACK M'NNKKV. There are, ns I have before meniiom 1, several apartments devoted to the sick, and there is a phy- sician of Montreal, who attends as physician to the Convent. It must not be supposed, however, ihut he knows any thing concerning the private hospitals. It is a fact of great importance to be distinctly un- (Icrstood, and constantly borne in mind, that he is never, under any circumstances, admitted into the private hospital-rooms. Of those he sees nothing more than any stranger whatever. He is limited to the care of those patients who are admitted from the city into the public hospital, and one of the nuns' hospitals, and these he visits every day. Sick poor are received for charity by the institution, attended by some of the nuns, and often go away with the high- est ideas of our charitable characters and holy lives. The physician himself might perhaps in some cases share in the delusion. I frequently followed Dr. Nelson through the public hospital, at the direction of tho Superior, with pen, ink, and paper in my hands, and wrote down the prescriptions which he ordered for the different patients. These were afterward prepared and ad- ministered by the attendants. About a year before I left the Convent, I was first appointed to attend the private sick-rooms, and was frequently employed in that duty up to the day of my departure. Of course. I had opportunities to observe the number and classes of patients treated there; and ia what I am t.J,.,»L(«y„,. *»fi3lfl^W^^'" T^S-1irjw6,*< J — NNKHV. fore menliom 1, serctat ick, and there is a phy ends as physician to the supposed, however, thut ling the private hospitals, ance to be distinctly un- rne in mind, that he is ances, admitted into the f those he sees nothinjf vhatever. He is limited 8 who are admitted from pital, and one of the nuns' its every day. Sick poor he institution, attended by 1 go away with the high- characters and holy lives, night perhaps in some I. Dr. Nelson through the ction of thp Superior, with J hands, and wrote down e ordered for the diflTerent erward prepared and ad- jts. About a year before irst appointed to attend the IS frequently employed in my departure. Of course, observe the number and 1 there ; and ia what I am ItLACK kdnnkht. 207 to sny on the subject, I appeal, with perfect confi- dence, to any triiu and competent witness to confirm my words, whenever such a witness may appear. It would bo vain for anybody who has merely visited the Convent from curiosity, or resided in it as a novice, to question my declarations. Such a person must necessarily bo ignorant of even the ex- istence of the private rooms, unless informed by some one else. Such rooms, however, there are, and I could relate many things which have passed there during the hours I was employed in them, os I have stated. One night I was called to sit up with an old nun, named Saint Clare, who, in going down stairs, had dislocated a limb, and lay in a sick-room adjoining nn hospital. She seemed to be a little out of her head a part of the time, but appeared to be quite in possession of her reason most of the night. It was easy to pretend that she was delirious ; but I con- sidered her as speaking the truth, though I felt re- luctant to repeat what I heard her say, and excused myself from mentioning it even at confession, on tho ground that the Superior thought her deranged. What led her to some of the most remarkable parts of her conversation was, a motion I made, in the course of the night, to take the light out of her little room into the adjoining apartment, to look once more at the sick persons there. She begged me not to leave her a moment in the dark, for she could ■%h 203 BLACK NVNNEnV. not bear it. "I have witnessed lo many horrid scenes," said she, " in this Convent, that 1 wont somebody ncnr me constantly, and must olwuys huvc n ligl>l burning in my room. 1 cannot tell you," she ndded. "what things I remember, for tliey would iViffhten you too much, What you have seen are nothing to them. Many a murder have I witnessed : many a nice young crenturo has been killed in this nunnery. I advise you to bo very cautious— keep every thing to yourself— there are many here ready to betray you." What it was that induced the old nun to express so much kindness to me 1 could not tell, unless she was frightened at the recollection of her own crimes, and those of others, and felt grateful for the care I look of her. She had been one of the night-watches, and nev- er before showed me any particular kindness. She did not indeed go into detail concerning the trans- actions to which she niluded, but told me that some nuns had been murdered under great aggravations of cruelty, by being gagged, and left to starve in the cells, or having their flesh burnt off their bones with red-hot irons. It was uncommon to find compunction expressed by any of the nuns. Habit renders us insensible to the suffering of others, and careless about our own sins. 1 had become so hardened myself, that I find it difficult to rid myself of many of my formor false principles and views of right and wrong. %r NKRY. ?9sod 10 many horrid Convent, that 1 wont lly, and must olwuys y room. 1 cannot tell lings I remember, for DO much. What you hem. Many a murder lice young crenturo hai y. I advise you to bo iiinjf to yourself— there ny you." ;he old nun to express so I not tell, unless she was of her own crimes, nnd iful for the core I took of night-watches, and nev- rticular kindness. She I concerning the trans- I, but told mc that somu ndcr great aggravations i, and left to starve in sh burnt off their bones compunction expressed it renders us insensible and careless about our so hardened myself, that ?lf of many of my former )f right and wrong. ■ LACK NVNNEKT. I was one day set to wash some of the empty bot- tles from the cellar, which had contained the liquid that was poured into the cemetery there. A number of these hud been brought from the corner where so many of them were always to be seen, and placed at the head of the cellar stairs, and there wo were required to take them and wash them out. We poured in water and rinsed them ; a few drops, which got upon our clothes, soon made holes in them. I think the liquid was called vhriol, or some such name ; and I heard some persons say, that i. would soon destroy the flesh, and even the bones of the dead. At another time, we were furnished with a little of the liquid, which was mixed with a quan- tity of water, and used in dying some cloth black, which was wanted at funerals in the chapels. Our hands were turned very black by being dipped in it, but a few drops of some other liquid were mixed with fresh water and given us to wash in, which left our skin of a bright red. The bottles of which I spoke were made of very thick, dark-coloured glass, large at the bottom, and, from recollection, I should say held something less than a gallon. I was once much shocked, on enteringthe room for the examination of conscience, at seeing a nun hang- ing by a cord from a ring in the ceiling, with her head downward. Her clothes had been tied round with a leathern strap, to keep them in their place; 18* ~"^M«(mK«%intt.»j<^#>*0yev^*«^ I fitO BLACK NCMNBKV. and then iho had been faitcncd in ihot •Uuttion. ^vith her hend lome diitnnce from the floor Her fnce had a very unplcowmt oppcaroncc, being dark coloured and •wollcn by the rmhing in of tho blood; ber hand, were lied, and her mouth rtopped with n largo gag, Thia nun proved to bo no other thon Jane Uay, who for lome fault had been condemned to thi» puniihment. Thia waa not, however, a aolilary caac; I heard ol numbert who were "hung," aa it waa called, at dlflTerent timea; and 1 aaw Saint Hypolite and Samt Luke undergoing it. Thia waa coniidcrcd a loont diatrtMing punishment; and it woa the only one which Jano Roy could not endure, of all ahe had triadl. ... Bome of the nuna would allude to it m her prea- ^ce, but it usually made her angry. It was prob- ably practised in the aoroe place while 1 was a nov- ice • but I never heard or thought of such a thmg m those days Whenever we wished to enter the room for tho examinotion of conscience, we had to ask leave; and after aome delay were permuted to go but alwaya under a strict charge to bend tho , head forward, ond keep the eyea fixed upon the floor. .i*ii^-r,]«v-;'^i. .^' j1*^v,^ i-..v.^>i^!!l»%V^i!>ivs>. ^^■'^. I IKV. mcd in that lituation, (rom the (loor. Her ppcarancc, b«inff dork uihinginof tho blood; mouth rtoppcd with n d to bo no other than t had been condemned )litary cntc; 1 heard oi ' as it was called, at int Hypolite and Saint tvas roniidered a iQpst 1 it was the only one ndurfl, of all she had llude to it in her pres. ir angry. It was prob- ace while I was a nov- liought of such a thing wc wished to enter the conscience, we had to lelay were permitted to ict charge to bend the, yes fixed upon the floor.^ CHAPTER XX. 'Tor.rl/y tmUnto tK, ^" •-"V^r/i.lr.oT-str.* Room, in PtHh*r^iM-AUmpl~Sitctu$. I orTiN .cixed an opportunity, when I «% could to speak a cheering or friendly word to one t^;^r'pri«,ncr, in P"-* 'V'' ""'idTm . iTndsTn the cellars. For a time I -"PPJ' ^'^;™ ta be sisters; but I afterward discovered thotthta *:„ nouhe iase. I found that they were alway. 3er the feat of suffering some punishment, in ^"hy should be found talking «ith a perK« no^ c^misiioned to attend them. They would often Mk, " !• not somebody comrag 1 .«^^ w- 1 could edilybeliere what I Ij.*-'* •^^T* *J oti«. that f«i;wM the severest of »»>«»' '^JlX ^fi;ed in the dark. In so gloomy a pU«e. wfth tf« Si and specious arched cellar «;•*«""»•[ '^. J^ and that, visited «.br now «.d th«. by .^^ J2 uun. with whom ihey were ^^J^^^ Sr^ing^ and with only the ^^^^ ^Bther ; how gloomy thus to spwd *•/ ••« of eiriik other; ^■■■i %i III k ^.jii^&tmlmmmmiiiSm i) fiia RLAOI NVNNiaf. dty, montht. ind ovfit yrart, wiihoul any profpcd o{ hbcntion, «n day they were first put in t" ' j.stliiij^lW^fetM i,au-»i-< NIRf. I, without any pratpeei y momvnt to my other r Suptrior might con* )r crcAturn mutt havo torrori p«rp«tr«t»d in nd could not hava b««n cellar, which was not lilt to which it waa da- no, in confldenee, aha They muM alto hara aleep, if they arer did ita who paaaed through ince. To be aubject to ivould bo dreadful ; but ire for yeara. ion for them, and wiah- It at other timea, yield* lally taught ua in the ippineaa would be pro* we had to undergo in iafied that their impria- them. Othera, I pre* in aueh feelinga. One had performed all our tged aa uaual, at thit other amua^Bent% fQt , "Oh.howliwdetWiif 11a— ted, all paiiti of tfi( . cTTed an old nnn go •LACK NUNNERT. 91S ^Wl * to a corner of an apartment near the northern end of the western wing, push the end of her scissors into a crack in the panelled wall, and pull out a door. I was much surprised, because I never had conjectured that any door was there ; and it appear- ed, when I afterward examined the place, that no indication of it could be discovered on the closest scrutiny. I stepped forward to see what was with- in, and saw three rooms opening into each other ; but the nun refused to adroit me within the door, which she said led to rooms kept as depositories. She herself entered and closed the door, so that I could not satisfy my curiosity; and no occasion presented itself. I always had a strong desire to know the use of these apartments : for I am sure they must have been designed for some purpose of which I was intentionally kept ignorant, otherwise they would never have remained unknown to me so long. Besides, the old nun evidently had some strong reasons for denying me admission, though she endeavoured to quiet my curiosity. The Superior, after my admission into the Cdn- vent, hod told me that I had occess to every room in t^e building ; and I had seen places which bote witness to the cruelties and the crimes committe||^«* under her commands or sanction ; but here was a oQceetaion of rooms which had been concealed from me, and so constructed as if designed to be un^ known to.oll but a few. I am sure that any penioB, J-] •»; ;■■ 1 •li 'ii I! j I r^ '■■*ii[l ly 316 fy"^ BtAOE MONNERT. who might be able to examine the wall in that place, would pronounce that secret door a surpria* ing piece of work. I never saw any thing of the kind which appeared to me so ingenious and skil. 4 fully made. I told Jane Ray what I had seen, and ' she said, at once, " We will get in and see what is there," But I suppose she never found an oppor- tunity. I naturally felt a good deal of curiosity to learn whether such scenes, as I had witnessed in the death of Saint Francis, were common or rare, and took an opportunity to inquire of Jane Ray. Her reply was — " Oh yes; and there were many murdered while you was a novice, whom you heard nothing about." This was all I ever learnt on the subject ; but although I was told nothing of the manner in which they were killed, I supposed it to be the same which I had seen practised, viz. by smothering. I went into the Superior's parlour' one day for something, and found Jane Ray there alone, looking into a book, with an appearance of interest. I ask- ed her what it was, but she made some trifling an* ■wer, and laid it by, as if unwilling to let me take . It. There are two bookcases in the room : one on the right as you enter the door, and the other oppo- site, near the window and the sofiu tlie tamux containB the lecture-books and other pnnad vol* vmes, the litter seemed to be filled withnote, end Ak»*6RM«ti*^'»>wvu,^E»is in the room : one on or, and the otUer oppo- the sofa, lite Cmner and other pri&nd toI> te filled w&hnote, aad BtACK NUNNBRt. ix tty account books. I have often seen '.he ki-ys in the bookcases while I have been dusting the furniture, and sometimes observed letters stuck up in the room: although I never looked into one, or thought of doing so, as we were under strict orders not to touch any of them, and the idea of sins and pen- ances waa always present with me. Some time after the occasion mentioned, I was sent into the Superior's room, with Jane, to arrange it; and as the same book wa , lying out of the case, she said, " Come, let us look into it." I imme- diately consented, and we opened it, and turned over several leaves. It was about a foot and a half long, as nearly as I can remember, a foot wide, and about two inches thick, though I cannot speak with par- ticular precision, as Jane frightened me almost ■■ soon as I touched it, 6y exclaiming, " There, yon have looked into it, and if you tell of me, I will of you." The thought of being subjected to a severe pen- ance, which I had reason to apprehend, fluttered me very much ; and although I tried to overcome my fears, 1 did not succeed very well. I reflected, however, that the sin was already committed, and that it would not be increated if I examined the book. I, therefore, looked a little at several pages, though I Btill felt a good deal of agitation. I saw, at once, that the volume was a record of the en- triince of nuns and novices into the Convent, and of * 19 ■tU..ri,u Iv U tl8 •tACB KQNXXIiT. tb« births that had taken place in the Conrent. Entries of the last description were made in a brief manner, on the following plan : I do not give the names or dates as real, but only to show the form of entering thom. Baint Mary delivered of a son, March 16, 1831 Saint Ckrico '* daughter, April 2, " Saint Matilda " daughter, April 30. " Ac. No mention was made in the book of the d^iath of the children, though I well knew not one of them could be living at that time. Now I presume that the period the book embraced, was about two years, as several names near the begin- ning I knew ; but I can form only a rough conjecture of the nunibfr of infanUbora,and murdered of course, records of which it contained. I suppose the book con* Uined at least one hundred pages, that one fourth were written upon, and that each poge contained fifteen dis- tinct records. Several pages were devoted to the list of births. On this supposition there must have been a large number, which I can easily believe to have been bom there in the course of two years. What were the contents of the other books be- longing to the same case with that which I looked into, I have no idea, having never dared to touch one of them ; I believe, however, that Jane Bay was well acquainted with them, knowing, as I do, her intelligence and prying disposition. If she could be brought to give her testimony, she would 1 j?9fe^BSfe8anjMiwte«ria8»t^^ ' illT. BLACK NtNNCRV. 819 lare in the Convent. were made in a brief I : I do not give the ily to show the form •n, March 16, 1831 ghter, April 2, " ghtcr, April 30. " dbc. le book of the d«ath of knew not one of them jd the book embraced, [ names near the begin- nly a rough conjecture nd murdered of course, I suppose the book con* es, that one fourth were je contained fifteen dis* ivere devoted to the list t there must have been easily believe to have of two years, of the other books be- h that which I looked never dared to touch vever. that Jane Bay em, knowing, as I do, ^ disposition. If she r testimony, she would doubtless unfold many curious particulars now un- known. I am able, in consequence of a circumstance which appeared accidental, to state with confidence, (he exact number of persons in the Convent one day of the week in which I lefl it. This may bo a point of some interest, ns several secret deaths hnd occurred since my taking the veil, and many burials had been openly made in the chnpel. I was appointed, at the time mentioned, to lay out the covers for all the inmates of the Convent, including the nuns in the cells. These covers, as I have said before, were linen bands, to be bound around the knives, forks, spoons, and napkins, for eating. These were for all the nuns and novices, and amounted to two hundred and ten. As the number of novices was then about thirty, I know that there must have been at that time about one hundred and eighty veiled nuns. I was occasionally troubled with a desire of es- caping from the nunnery, and-was much distressed whenever I felt so evil an imagination rise in my mind. I believed that it was a sin, a great sin. and did not fail to confess, at every opportunity, that I felt discontent. My confessors informed me that I was beset by an evil spirit, and urged me to pray against it. Still, however, every now and then, t would think, " Oh, if I could get out !" At Itngth coe of the priests, to whom I had coo* KsatRS^ Hi ll I I I I m iii i i*ii i ii r * i Mitm tl 930 ■tACB NUNNBRT. fotNd thif tin, informed me, for my comfort, that he had bogun to pray to Saint Anthony, and hoped hia intercession would, by-and-by, drive away the evil •pirit. My deaire of escape was partly excited by the fear of bringing an infant to the murderous hands of my companions, or of taking a potion whose violent effects I too well knew. One evening, however, I found myself more filled with the desire of escape than ever ; and what ex- ertions I made to dismiss the thought, proved en- tirely unavailing. During evening prayers, I be- came quite occupied with it ; and when the time for meditation arrived, instead of falling into a doze as I often did, although I was a good deal fatigued, I found no difficulty in keeping awake. When this exercise was over, and the other nuns were about to retire to the sleeping-room, my station being in the private sick-room for the night, I withdrew to my post, which was the little sitting-room adjoining it. Here, thei^ I threw myself upon the sofii, and, being alone, reflected a few moments on the manner of escaping which had occurred to me. The physi- cian had arrived a little before, at half-past eight ; and I had now to accompany him, as usual, from bed to bed, with pen, ink, and paper, to write down his prescriptions for the direction of the old nun, ^who was to see them administered. What I wrote that evening, I cannot now recollect, as my mind was uncoromon^v agituted ; but my customary way '!7tfra:S i. ' MA'lJ^ nttS Mi**X i ' ^>' '• UvUiNMSWRvi; . (BUY. for my comfort, that h« .nthony, and hoped hia r, drive away the evil was partly excited by fant to the murderoui sr of taking a potion bU knew, lund myaelf more filled in ever ; and what ex- he thought, proved en- evening prayers, I be- and when the time for r falling into a doze aa 1 good deal fatigued, I ig awake. When this her nuns were about to my station being in the ight, I withdrew to my ing-room adjoining it. lelf upon the sofa, and. moments on the manner red to me. The physi- bre, at half-past eight ; ny him, as usual, from id paper, to write down rection of the old nun, istered. What I wrote r recollect, as my mind but my customary way BLACK NONNBRT- Mt was to not* down briefly his orders in this man- aer: t d salts, St. Matilde. I blister, St. Gencviove, Ac. Ac. I remember that I wrote three such orders that evening, and then, having finis'.ed the rounds, I returned for a few minutes to the sitting-room. There were two ways of access to the street from those rooms: first, the more direct, from the pjw- sage adjoining tlie sick-room, downstairs, through a door, into the nunnery-yard, and through a wickel gate ; that is the way by which the physician usually enters at nigh^ and he is provided with a key for that purpoae. It would have been unsafe, however, for ir.o to ' pass out that way, because a man is kept continually in the yard, near the gate, who sleeps at night in • small hut near the door, to escape whose obserT*. tion would be impossible. My only hope, there- fore, was. that I might gain my passage through . the other way. to do which I must pass through the sick-room, then through a passage, or smalt room, usually occupied by an old nun ; another passage and staircase leading down to the yard, and a large gate opening into the cross street. I had no liberty ever to go beyond the sick-room, and know that several of the doors might be fastened.^ BUU, 1 determined to try ; although I have often tiiiMbeeo astonished at my boldness in undortuk- iil :*1 mrn'Mli, M^Sbi ::!^ era! doors, with all which I waa acquainted; thatOD the opposite side opened into a commnnily-itMMB, where I should probably have found aome vtiht old nnna at that hour, and they woald eertdnly j^f | r ^ ^l^ l ^T^ | l^ll,n^ |^lll . | .■,'1 li n ii^ ^f ii' ww. to to many htzarda of nent if found out. . . icr some axiraordinary ne to do what I should liave thought of under- lort tiine upon the sofr, a desperate determina' I therefore walked passed into the nun's reat hurry, and almost ipeak or think, said, — istant was through the Sfe. I think there was te moment; and it is nner, and prompt inti- iressing mission to the rom entertaining any Besides. I had the in in m)i hand, which hem ; and it was wall lat I had twice left th« choice ; so that I wm rusted to remain than now reached had Mr- ma acquainted; that oo a commnnky-roon, « found some efHk* they would eertdaly I BLACK NIINNBaT. Mi have stopped me. On the left, howerer, was a large door, both locked and barred ; but I gare the door a sudden swing, that it might creak as liule as possible, being of iron. Down the stairs I hurried, and making my way through the door into the yard, stepped across it, unbarred the great gate, and was at liberty I t f. »' ,' m CONCLUSION. Till fullowing circuiiuttnrct compriM all that it it deemed nvceiwry novto lubjoin to thtt proeediiig narrative. After my arrival in Now- York, I wat introdue«d to the almihouii*. where I was attended with kind* nen and care, and, aa I hoped, woi entirely un* known. Out when I bnd been tome time in that instiiutf-m. 1 found that it wai reported that I was a fujfitive f jn; and not lonjf after, an Iriah woman, belonging to i\it house, brought ine a secret mes. sage which caused mo some agitation, I wns sitting in the room o( Mrs. Johnson, the matron, engaged in sewing, when thnt Irish woman, employed in the institution, came in and told m« that Mr. Conroy was below, ond had sent to see me. I was informed thnt he was a Roman priest, who o(Wn visited the house, and he had a particular wish tos«emeat that time; having come, as I believe, expressly for that purpose. I showed unwillingness to comply with such an invitation, and did not go. The woman told me further, that he sent me word that I need not think to avoid him, for it would bo impossible for mc to do so. I might conceal myself M w«U u 1 could, but I should be found and takea ^ 1^ ON ■ compriM all that it join to the preceding )rk, I wai introduced I ottended with kind- id, woi entirely un* en tome lime in that reported that I waa a in, an Irish woman, It ine a lecret mes. piation. >r Mrs. Johnion, the an thnt Iriih woman, same in and told m« d had sent to see me. a Roman priest, who tad a particular wish ' come, as I beliere, bowed unwillingness tion, and did not go. lat he sent me word him, for it would bo might conceal myaelf 1 be found and ukea eoMOtvsiov. ^ No matte, wl^er. I went, or what hlding-jljce I might choose, 1 should be known ; and I had better come at once. He knew who I wm i •nd he waa authoriied to uke me to the Sisters of Chanty, il I .hould prefer to join them. """«"''»/;;;""'• that I might stay with them it I chose, and be pi-f .nitted to remain in NewYork, He sent me word further, that he had received full powor -"^ J*^" ' hy over me from the Superior of the "<><• />''• Nunnery of Montreal, and was able to do all that •he could do; aa her right to dispose of me at her will had been imparted to him by a regular wrumg received from Canada. This was alarming mform- ationforme. in the weakneaa in which I w«s at that time. The woman added, that the same nu- thority had been given to all the P'»«^/. J^^'^i''; where I might. I ahould meet men mfonned about me and my •«.p«. .nd ftilly «npow.T«l to «. « me wherever they could, and convey me back to tha Ck)nvent. from which I h«J escaped. Under these circiim««nce.. H aeemed »<> "»• J^'^ the offer to place ma .mong t^ »'?"., ^^'ijS with permiiilon to r«Min in New-York. waa mild Ttld (Koarable. However. I h»d r.«>latlon enough to reftiae to aee the prie* Conroy. Not long afterward I waa inform^ by the aa»o J^g^f that th. pria- '^^-gLJ'c^on^ lnt.«ndr««iWdhto»«l«-t I darired 'ae« while a nun, and if I had not eontcMcd to VtitM Ki'lly in Montrrnl. I annwcrcd, thut it waa nil true) for I hnd ronfcMi'd to him a ahoit time whila in the nunnery. 1 waa ihun tuld again thai th« prieit wonted to aeo me, and 1 aent bacic word that I would a.** him in the preaenca of Mr. T - ■ or Mr. 8 ■ - ; which, however, waa not agreed tn; ond I wni afterward informed, that Mr. Cunroy, the Roman prieat, upent an hour in a room and a paaaaga whero I had frequently been ; but throufrh the mercy ofOod, I waa employed in another place at that time, and had no occasion to go where I ■hould have met him. I afterward repeatedly heard, that Mr. C'onroy continued to visit the house, nnd to os!( fur me; but I never saw him. I once had determined to leave the inatitutiort, and go to the Sisters of Charity ; but circumsunees orcurred which gave me time for further reflection ; and I leu $aetd from lk« dettnelion l« which I $hould Aam been txpo$td. As the period of my aceouehment approached, I aometimes thought that I abould not aurvive it; and then the recollection of the dreadftil crimct I bad witnessed in the nunnery would come upon me very powerfully and I wotikl think fe • leWnMi ION ;«•, aa I wished lo r«- •hort tima thtr, how* 1 Mr. Conroy withvd to m« wot not S(. Ku*>'aeo nut eoiifriwd lo I'rivM wcrcO, thut it noa all him a ■hoii limo whiU m tuld again that tha 1 avnt back word that net of Mr. T — ■ or >«r, waa not agrerd in ; ird, that Mr. Cunroy, hour in a room and a Illy brrn ; but throu{rh )loyfd in anntltfr place «caiion to go where I nOfrward repeatedly lued lo viait the houae, iver aaw him. 1 once inatitutiort, and go lo lireumataneea occurred rther reflection ; and I MM f« which I $hould aehnent approached, I uld noiaurvive it; end dreadftil crimct 1 bad fould come upon m* tld think h • •oWiHi •oweivuoii. W duty !• diicloae ihem before I died. To hare i Un/wUdge of thoae ihinga. and J-^ J*^* ;«?'' J without making iham known, appeered to me 1 ke« treat aln. whenem I could diveat myialf of the Unprewion made upon me. by the d«larai.oni and arsuinenta of tha Superior, nuna. and pr.eaia. of the duty of aubmiiting lo erary ihing. and tha neceaaary holine.. of whaiavtr ih. lauer did or '«M«J"«1^ The etening but one before the period which I .nticipotcd with ao much anxiety. I WM «« ng alone, .nd began lo Indulge in "«•«»'««• «';J;' Uod. It wenied lo me that I mu« be near Oie eloM of my lifi". and I determined to make e die- d^Ture at'once. I .poke to Mr.. Fo;««. /. ^Tf wboae character I reapt^^\ . ^ ^. , It waa alarm which had led m. to &"""«*• daterroiaation: and when the period of trial had I 1 l.i 228 OONCLRIIOd* ery, any thing appeared to me more unlikely than that I should make this exposure. I was then a Roman Catholic, at least a great part of my time ; and my conduct, in a great mea- sure, was according to the faith and motives of a Roman Catholic. Notwithstanding what I knew of the conduct of so many of the priests and nuns, 1 thought that it had no effect on the sanctity of the Church, or the authority or effects of the acts per- formed by the former at the moss, confession, &c. I had such a regard for my vows as a nun, that I considered my hand as well as my heart irrevocably given to Jesus Christ, and could never have allowed any person to take it. Indeed, to this day, I feel an instinctive aversion to offering my hand, or taking the hand of another person, even as an expression of friendship. I also thought that I might soon return to the Catholics, although feur and disgust held me back. I had now that infent to think for, whose life I had happily saved by myttinely escape from the nunnery; and what its fiite might be, in case it should ever fall into the power of the priests, I could not tell. I had, however, reason for alarm. Would a child destined to destruction, likj the in&nts I had seen baptized and smothered, be allowed to go through the world unmolested, a living memorial of the truth of crimes long practised in security, because never exposed ? What pledges could I grt - ,-j(,--.?;vM.-«.'.' ...*;jdi»>sa«a>:.<»^»4t!S..«*PSvSi*Vii*'>eS6«^ ) mors unlikely than ure. tolic, at least a great iduct, in a great moe> ith and motives or a anding what I knew the priests and nuns, on the sanctity of the eflects of the acts per- mass, confession, &c. vows as a nun, that I s my heart irrevocably lid never have allowed i, to this day, I feel an ig my hand, or taking even as an expression [ht that I might soon mgh fear and disgust that infont to think for, •d by my timely escape t its fiite might be, in ie power of the priests, for alarm. Would a likd the in&nts I had ed, be allowed to go ed, a living memorial • practised in security, 'hat pledges could I g«!t eoNCLVSlON. aS9 to satisfy me, that I, on whom her dependance must be, would be spared by those who I had reason to think wer« wishing then to sacrifice me? How could I trust the helpless infapt in hands which had hastened the baptism of many such, in order to hur- ry them to the sc^iet pit in the cellar? Could I suppose that Father Phelan, Pritst of the Parish Chwreh of Montreal, would see hi$ men child growing up in the world, and feel willing to run the risk of having the truth exposed ? What could I expect, especially from him, but the utmost rancour, and the most determined enmity against the inno- cent child and its abused and defenceless mother. Yet, my mind would sometimes still incline in the opposite direction, and indulge the thought, that perhaps ihe only way to secure heaven to us both, was to throw ourselves back into the hands of the Church, to be treated as she pleased. When, there- fore, the fear of immediate death was removed, ! renounced all thoughts of communicating the sub- stance of the frets in this volume. It happened, however, that my danger was not passed. I was soon seized with very alarming symptoms; then my desire to disclose my story revived. I had b^fjre had an opportunity to speak in pri- vate with the chaplaip ; but, as it was at a time when I supposed myself out of danger, I had defe^ red for three days my proposed communication, thittking that I might yet avoid it altogether. When 20' ■ ■ .J i^^^gf9/CU^ 280 CONGLCIIOIf. my symptoms, however, became more alarming, I was anxious for Saturday to arrive, the day which I had appointed ; and when I had not the opportu nity on that day, which I desired, I thought it might be too late. I did not see him till Monday, when my prospects of surviving were very gloomy' and I then informed him that I wished to comma, nicate to him a few secrets, which were likely otherwise to die with me. I then told him, that while a nun, in the Convent of Montreal, I hod witnessed the murder of a nun, called Saint Fran- cis, and of at least one of the infants which I have spoken of in this book. I added some few circum- stances, and I believe disclosed, in general terms, someof tho other crimes I knew of in that nunnery. My anticipations of death proved to be unfounded ; for ny health afterward improved, and had 1 not made the confessions on that occasion, it is very possible I never might have made them. I, how- ever, afterward, fell more willing to. listen to in- struction, and experienced friendly attcntiona from some of the benevolent persons around me. who, taking an interest in me on account of my dark- ened understanding, furnished me with the Bible, and were ever ready to counsel me when I de- sired iL i. K I soon began to believe that God might have in- tended that his creatures should learn his will by ictding his void, and taking upon them th« frot *i«i*si&itiA'a&s^j(*«Wi^KSSSM "— ■ ime more alarming. I arrive, the day which [ had not the opportu deiired, I thought it see him till Monday, ng were very gloomy • at I wished to commu. }, which were likely I then told him, th.-it It of Montreal, I bod m, called Saint Fran- I inrants which I have Ided some few circum- led, in general terms, lew of in that nunnery, roved to be unfounded ; troved, and had 1 not kt occasion, it is very ) made them. I, how- rilling to liaten to in- ricndly attentions from ions around me, who, I account of my dark* d me with the Bible, unsel me when I de- at God might have in* )uld learn his will by g upon them tha frw eONCLVStON. 831 exercise of their reason, and acting under responsi- bility to him. It is difficult for one who has never given way to such arguments anJ influences, as those to which I Sad been exposed, to realize how hard it :s to think aright after thinking wrong. The Scriptures always nffi'ct me powerfully when I read them; but I feci that I have but just begun to learn the great truths, in which I ought to have been early and thoroughly instructed. I realize, in some degree, how it is, that the Scriptures render the people of the United States so strongly opposed to such doctrines as are taught in the Black und the CongregatiOisal Nunneries of Montreal. The priests and nuns used often to declare, that of all heretics, the children from the United States were the moirt difficult to be converted ; and it was thought a gre?l triumph when one of them was brought 07er to. "the true faith." The first passage of Scripture that made any serious impression upon my mind, was the text on 'i;ich the chaplain preached on the Sabbath after my introduction into the house — "Search the Scripturea.*' **-. * t #:. SSSMiSf- """■ r i •^ \k it iii:..L:.;. '-,'v.-l.'-'?M*^*-'"' ' ^■■■*»V -*•'■" -»t'->'i^*''"i^»'J^f'ifr^»^'-i-'*'^* I ! M f L .__;