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Illustrated by ^ Majr Wtbon Preston New York Doubleday, Page & Company 1907 1 Copyright, 1906, by TM CuRTu PoBumiNG Company Copyright, 1906, 1907, by DOUBLBDAY, PaGB & COMPANY PuBLimiD, May, 1907 ALL UOBTS WiSBKVBO XNCLODINO THAT OF TRANSLATIOM INTO VOUIION LAMOUAOBt, INCLUOtMO TUU SCANDINATIAM «( < ILLUSTRATIONS •Dyingl'seal" . FronHspuce FACtNO PAOB Now remimber' sea Minnie, 'no gineral housework tor you ' ** . .99 Very well Delia ' ses she. ' It's hard on me ... so much trouble ' " . .86 '* I tttk a bit of paper from Mr. John's dealc, and I penned the following warning in phuic littera and langwidge " . . 4% ** * Mr. John * I exclaimed involuntarararily, ' are you aun atmek. Wfaat'a the trubble' "•I" 58 " Mr. Wolley cum crorling frum tmdemeath th» ortermobile " H4 " * Go away John! Go away! ' aea ahe, ' you shan't open the dure "* .184 " * But suppose * ses b^, leening a bit neaitr, ' that the litter was not for you ' " .146 THE DIARY OF D£LIA THE DIARY OF DELIA CHAPTER I T GOT up at seven. Washed. Dressed. Made iae bed. I set the Kittle on the gas stove and then furyissly rung the brekfast bell. The famly begun to get up about 9. Mr. John was the iirst to ate. He guv a look sideways at the appytising ^ggs befiure him ^d the luvlystaming coffee and thin wid a shuv pooshed thim aside. He tuk up his paper and begun to reed ignoaring me and the brekfust as if we wus durt. Me mouth being open I spoke up. "Won't you be after ating this mor ing" says I. " Its all rite" says he. "Its all rite Delia I Ungered hoping to help him a bit. 8 4 THE DIABY OF DELIA He russelled up the paper the way he has of doing when provoaked and says in that cam and gintle way he talks when tunibly excited: "Delia — ^what are you waiting for?" "Nothing — ^says I — but won't you be ating a bite Mr. Johnny." He controlled himsilf wid diffyculty his voyce all the canuner for his inwurd anger. Now me girl says he — you attind to your own ating. Never mind me. I shugged me sholders in the dis- dainful way I have and walked kitchen- wurd. I'd jest reeched the swinging door when "Delia!" ses he, calling very perlitely now. "Well sir?" "Will you kindly bring me" ses he "a cup of hot water." "Hot water is it?" "Yep. I'm dying DeUa" ses he. THE DIABY OF DELIA 5 ''Dying!" ses I, shocked so that I drap- ped and broke the china in me hands. "Confound you!" ses he, starting up in his seet "Dy-et-ing I said." "Its the same thing" I showted back at him, and I marched out in a huff. By and by I heard Miss Claire go in- to the dining-room and I let her ring the table bell awile befure ansering. Her payshunce gitting the better of her sense she pokes her hed into me kitchen. Now I happened to be standing neerby the dure, wayti?ig for further ivints. WeU, as I sed, out popped Miss Claire's hed throo the dure which banged against me own, while me frying-pan wint fly- ing up on hers. "Ol OI O!" crys she. Her mother come running down the passage in her nitegown her hair scrooed up in them kid curlers. "What is the matter?" ciys she. Thin 6 THE DIARY OF DELIA she seen the cundition of her dorter. The eggs had landed on her hed, and the fat run down her face in streams wid the yokes for company. The mother guv me a shove, and at that I boorst out in me rarth. "Its no lady you are" ses I. "The whole boonch of you is bad. Gitting up at these unairthly ours and bullying the life out of a poor loan hard work- ing girl." Wid that I tuk aff me aprun and throwed it at the madams feet. "Will you be good enuff" ses I "to pay me me wages, for I'm for going." Delia" ses she in the voyce she spakes whin drissed up fine for the opery or there's company for dinner. "Delia" ses she, "Your month is up on the 24th. You will get nothing till then." "Indade" ses I. "Then I'll set here till THE DIARY OF DELIA 7 the 24th, but divil a bit of work will I be doing/' and wid that I set down on me chare and faulded me arms firmly across me brist. "Delia" ses the lady, "Mr. WoUey will want his chop in a minit. Master Willie will have fareena and a poched Shedded weet biskits for Miss Claire " "Mummer" ses she, washing her hed over me tubs, "I want nothing— nothing." Just then Mr. James wint into the dyning-roon and rung the bell lowdly. "Peeches and pancakes*' ses Mrs. Wolley coldly. Miss Claire has her hed washed be this time, and she stands oop, wid it rolled oop in a towl. She guv me wan look— a cross betwane a shmile and a frown, and ses she: "Delia, do you wish me to get brek- fust to-day?" 8 THE DIARY OF DELIA "God forbid, Miss" ses I, and wint to wark. Miss Claire is horty agin, and she sea wid a cold look at me: "Very weU thin Delia, tiU the 24th then. Come mother." CHAPTER n NEXT DAT TTS a weery world. Here I be, a poor loansome female alone in this crooi dty warking for foaks wid lether harts. "O wirra, wirra, wirra" as me auld mother used to say. Aroze. Dressed. Washed. I wint to see me frina Minnie Car- navan last nite and feel better the day. Ses she: "Its a fool you be I>elia O'Mally. The Idear of you doing all the wark in a family of 6. Its no more sinse you seem to have than an eediot. Delia ses she, its the giirls thats been here long thats foolish like yursilf . They get stock wid wan famly who hangs on to thim for deer life. The new wans — green 9 10 THE DIARY OF DELIA from the aulH cuntry arent hiring out to do gineral housewark. Its cooking in a family of 1 or 2 theyre looking for and getting. Its lite chamberw&rk or waiting on a table or the like. Theret never a one so green as to hire out to do the hole wark of a family. Y'^ auld fashuned and saft'* ses she, **Go down to Mack's on 3rd Ave. Git a job for a munth or so as capper." "And what is that?" "Well you tak a job" ses Minnie, "but you dont kape it." "And what wud be the sinse of tak- ing it for thin?" "Why you gump for ivery place you tak Mack gits a fee of $3. You get harf for fooling thim." "Its an onest gurl I am" ses I wid scoin, "and its ashamed I'd be to mix mesilf in any such mess as that." "Well then" ses she "go down to the THB DIABY OP DELIA 11 Alluyance. Its a place where they get jobf for the rkh." "And what wud I be doing Iherp?" "Dont you mind what I'm after meen- ing? Its the rich ladies who pathronize them. Its a foine thing indade for thim. The Alluyunce filhi oop there houaes wid the sarvants. If a lady walks in modestly asking swately for a gurl for gineral housewark, they taks the fee of two or three or maybe five dollars, and thin smilingly inf arm her that gineral housewarkers are an oonown qnolify. "Tak a cook" ses Miss Flimflam, seeted at a desk. * Put" ses the lady, luking very thrubbled, "a cook wont do anny other work at all." "Sumtimes they do lite londiy wark" ses Miss Flimflam, yoning perlitely in her hand. "Wai they clean?" "Land no!" 12 THE DIABY OF DELIA "Wate on table "Certainly not." " Thin" ses the lady in disthress, " What am I to do? I moost have me wark dun." "Why" ses the clerk, a little more awake, "hire other girls, as the rist of our pathrons do." "Oh" ses the lady. "I suppose" ses she after a moment of deep and thrubbled thort, "if I get an exthra woman in to clean and wate on table the cook will wark cheeper?" "Hm?" ses the lady at the disk. "I big yure pardin?" "She'd wark cheeper, I sed?" "Well to be frank, Mrs. Hodge Podge" answers Miss Flimflam at the desk, "a cooks an expinsive proppysition in these days. Now we have thim all the way down from $200 a munth to —cr — ^well, you mite git an inexperienced THE DIARY OP DELIA IS beginnir for about $30, tho I cant promise." "Your fooling Minnie. Shure no cook gits such a forchune" ses I. "Its thruth I*m telling you. Why I heard the uther day that Mrs. Van- derfool do be paying her cook $20,000 a year, and whats more the papers state theres an agytation now on foot among the bizzy club wimmin to let the poor hard warking girls, whose been impoased upon for sinturies, yuse the parlor wance a week to see there company in.** "You dont say** ses I, "and to think of me drudging for the starving wage of $20 per month.'* "WeU** ses Minnie, "I wont mis- guide you Delia. $20 is the wages of a green girl who niver saw a Frinch pertater fryed on airth and who broils a stake in a sorspan cuvered snug wid water. CHAPTER in THE TWENTT-FOUBTH T AROZE at the uslul our. Washed. Dressed in me best. Miss Claire cum into me room brite and airly. Ses she: "O Delia, heres that auld green skurt of mine you always liked. Your welcame to it.** "Thanks** ses I, "but I expect to be making sooch grand wages socm. Miss Claire, 1*11 be bying finer skurts than that." Wid that I pushed the skurt aside with contemshus tooch. She got all red and pretty, as she has a habit whin angry, and she pat up her hed hy in ^e air. "O well, if that's the way you feel!** ses she and marched out. Mr. John cum into me kitchen. u 16 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Delia** ses he "heres a quarter. Now hussle wid me brekfust, will your I took the quarter and flipped it round. "Mr. Johnny" ses I, "me munth is cop at 7 A. M. this marning. I*m after waiting for me wages.*' He drew up his brows frowning and wint aff into his mothers room. A moment later the auld gintleman himsilf cum bloostering out. Its his ushil custom to get up at 10. " Whats up ! Whats up ! ** ses he. " Wheres me chop ? Wheres me chop ?" Master Will started in to baU and Mr. James kept ringing the table bell. Such a house I never seen. Out came the madame in her ushil nitegown. "Delia** ses she "didn't I tell you yesterday I'd decided to guv you anuther chance." THE DIARY OF DELIA 17 "You did mam, but Tm for going now" ses I. "Go about your wark" ses she, her proud Yoice becoming a bit narvous in toan. "I*m waiting for me wages mam" ses I. "Delia " she guv a hasty look about her, thin she spakes in a coaxing vyce: "Now Delia, be sinsible. You no we think warlds of you. Now " Joost then. Miss Claire looks in, her face still red wid the snub I'm after giving her about the skurt. "Muther** ses she, "dont descind to *>egging I^elia to remane. Let her go. We can get on famissly widout her." "What!" shourts Mr. James, stick- ing in his hed at the dure, "No cook! Whats to becum layned to me wanse was that Mr. 48 44 THE DIARY OF DELIA John is an eediotor wile Mr. James is a bawld voiced orthor, spaking, ses Mr. WoUey, wid the orful tung of the muck raker. Well Mr. John looks up gintly and fidgets his paper and ses mildly: "Er ^Delia— er " "Well?" ses I, fite in me toans. "Another cup of hot water if you plase" ses he. He hild up the cup befure his eyes suspishussly. " — er Delia" ses he, making an eflFet to mollyfy me timper. "How do you like it here" ses he. "Like it! My God its a loan wilder- nis^ of a place, sor," Ses I. "Shaw!" ses he, "Why theeres forty- two families on the Poynt." "The Poynt?" "Yes. They call this neck of land the Poynt" ses he "I suppose becorse \ THB DIARY OF DELIA iU just a poynt of land numiiig into the Sound." "Its a bloont poynt'* ses I. "It is** ses he, **but down at the ind of it, there is a very fine poynt of land. Me brother waggushly corls it 'Rogues Poynt' " ses he. "And why sor?" "Haw, haw!" ses he, larfing into his napkin. Mr. James cum sontering in joost thin in tinnis pants. He tramped acrost me imacklate floor, banged out a chare and doomped himself into it. "Me brekfust in a hurry Delia" ses he. "Whats the joke Johnny'* ses he to his larfing brother. "I was telling Delia the name ye've given the Poynt-— Rogues Po^ *it." "Hum!" ses Mr. James, ating amor- osly on a grape froot. "Its like this Delia** ses he, guving me a seeriess 46 THE DIARY OF DELIA look, **The 2 show places on the ind of the Poynt are occipied respictably by an Oil magnut and a Tntyrmfrr Prissydint" **And be fikey ragnes?** adm I innercently. Dal lied raskils'* ses Jauies soUemly. CHAFTES DC AN0TH1» DAT A i^07^ Got up. Dressed. Made •* * Ilk; bed. Imtied me slops. > wa you all to lis en to me" set ^ e» idrissing tbe -aniiiy iu the c fiing-room. "Now" **if I'm to be housekaper and we '■ant afford but wan girl and the works altogether too hewy t Delia akae and shdl be hiving us i — " "SkV* says her motii^ fake kmet, bM in the bootlers panti^ , making the salad. "Nonsinse" ses Mr. James, "shes at the keyhole lissening.*' " WeU, but do Ussen aU/' ai^ Miss Claire. "Iverybody" ses she, ''has got to do his indivijool share of work. Hie 48 THE DIARY OF DELIA Ions must be cut. A garden must be planted. Frish vegitables are absolootely nidssiry. James" ses she swateiy, " You can cut the Ions." " Lons ! " cryes he in thoondering toans. "I cut lons! Why me' deer sister its aginst me most artistick instink'* ses he. "Its wan of me firm and uncon- tradictible opinyons that lons shud re- mane uncut. Why annyone can have cut lons. Luk at the places around us, widout an ixcipshun the lons are cut slick and smooth as a yooths chin. I tell you sister mine" ses he "its more artistick to let your grass grow long." "Nonsinse" ses Miss Claire. Here Mr. John tuk up the coodgills for his sister. *'Unkemp lons" ses he, "are artistick cm the same principle as the ass is a boheemyun who smoaks and drinks in out of way outlandish joynts and has THE DIARY OP DELIA 40 an inborn prejydiss aginst a manicar parlor. 'Dirty nales' ses he, in the like toan of me brother 'is artistick.' Jimmy, boy, explane the artistick sinse of uncut Ions?" "Deny it if you can" shouted Mr. James, thoomping on the table "I chal- linge you. Do you mane to assert that the fat broaker who kapes his Ions and drives clane as a well swipt parlor has the same artistick sinse as the chap who lets his grarss grow gracefully aloft kiss- ing the gintle seffers which swape the jewey- " Here I heard the contemshus russel of Mr. John's paper. "Do be sinsible Jimmy*' ses Mrs. WoUey. "Claire is quite right. The Ions must be cut If we dont cut them nobody*!! caU mi us. We'll be marked and shunned in this community." H«pe lioth Mr. James and John as* 80 THE DIAEY OF DELIA sayed to spake at wanse, the latter aisily being drowned out by the thoonder toans of the hedstrung orthor. "Mother!" ses he "I'm ashamed of you. Can I beleeve me eers. Is it me own mother— the woman who gave me berth spaking? Do you achooly mane that you are inspired wid a dred that these essenshilly vulger fatheaded ras- killy rich nayburs of ours may not call on us? What!" ses he, drowning the interrupting voyce of Mr. John, "Do you desire there acquaytinse ?" "Me brotyer" ses Mr. John gintly,**finds his vocatshun rooning from his finger tips tohistung. Tohimthem«cfackof being rich is to be likewise a fool and nam" "I claim" ses Mr. James thoomping on the toble "that a man cannot make a billion onestly. I agree wid me frind Andrew Carnegie, who denies he sed it, that its impossible." THE DIARY OP DELIA 51 " What of those who inherit ses Bin. WoUey. "Poony-sded, puppy heded eediots. What rite I asks have they to ka'pe the money stolen from the peeple by there fathers?" Mr. Wolley put in a word here edge- wise. "It seems to me James*' ses he "that you are wilfully departing from the mooted subject. I belave in dyagres- sion— to a limited extint— and whin by gintle degrees it permits us to cum bm^ to the subjeck under discushion." "Yes" ses Miss Claire, "we must get back to the Ions. Its settled. James you will cut them at leest wanse a week." "Once a week! Lord God of Isreel!" grones Mr. James, "I'll be a fim^ reck befure the summ^ wanes." "Next" ses Miss Claire, "Jdinny you must take care of the horse." 89 THE DIABY OF DELIA I thort Mr. John must be tearing up his paper, from the noyse of its russeling. I pfcned up closer to the dure. "Clwre, my deer" ses he, "I beg you think behire you spake. Fve never handled a horse in me life. If you contimplate the purchase of a baste, you will have to hire a man to care for it. I draw" ses he '* the lines at stable work." "Very well" ses she, "you can go walk the mile or 2 to the village after the mail." "We'll take turn about" ses Mr. John. "What!" shouts Mr. James, "and me wid my grass cutting!" "To orffset that" ses Was Claire, "John can rayse our vigitables." "My deer child—" began Mr. John "I know not the first thing of — er " "You're all just horrid." ses Miss Claire and she pushed back her chare. THE DIARY OP DELIA 59 "Very well then, I wash my hands ol the hole affare." "James" ses Mr. Wollej in stuia commanding toans, "You will cut the Ions as intercated by your sister. John" ses he "I will expect you to rayse addecut vigKables for the table.** "Daddy" ses Miss Claire, "you'll go to the Post-Office wont you like an angel?** "Certainly my deer** ses he, "It will give me grate pleshure." A silence fol- lowed here, and the auld gintleman must have bethort him of his hasty promise, for ses he: "We wiU kape a horse'* ses he, "at a neerby livery stable.*' Mr. James bust out larfing. "Whats my juties to be?" swately inquires Mrs. WoUey, trying to change the paneful subject "Oh mamma'* ses Mjss CUure, "you may care for the chicks." 54 THE DIARY OF DELIA "IM me see" ses Mrs. Wolley "Aren't thmsuch tkii^a»— «r — ^lice— connected "Yes deer — ^but if you'll kape the coop always witewashed" ses Miss Claire, "the lice '11 go.** Mrs. Woll^ c^ed unai^iy. "And nom ffeu, nass?" sbouts Ifr. James* "wiiat have you left for your- ■elftodo?" "Theres a thousand and wan things, but as my cheef and spechul jooty out- side of the hiwy housekaping wid the constant tack and diplomassy it intales to kape our unsertin Delia, I will under- take to — er — ^rayse sweet flowers for the beutifying of our Ions and house." "Call that work!" larfs Mr. James. "You inappreeshitive duffer" ses Mr. Jdm in his gintlest voyce. "I vote that we adjoin." "One moment" ses Mr. James. THE DIABY OF DELIA 85 "What of BiUy? Is he to be the sole number ol this iimei^tick family to live in aise and lazy cumfut?'* " No indeedy " ses Miss re. " Never ! Tho but 6 yeers of age, he.-, old enuff to em his daily bred. Willy" ses she "shall be our yuniversul caddy. His will be the tax ol carrying water to the hungry thoorsty wans what toyle." i i I CHAPTER X THE NEXT DAT T WAS up to me een in work— it being wash day. As I carried the clothes out to be hung I noted the following: Mr. John was walking up and down taking triminjus long stips back and forth over the back km. Wkl the taka of his coat flying mi bdiind him and his spicktides hanging by a string from his eer he looked so like a loonytick that I drapped me baskit of clothes. "My God, Mr. John" I exclaimed involuntararariiy "Are you sun sirack. Whats the tmbble" ses I, and I stqiped him in his mad careerer as Mr. James wud call it by grabbing him by his cote tales. He turned about, looks at me wid wild eyes and se» horseiy: 07 n THE DIABY OF DBLIA "Twinty-two and a harf — ^twinty-two and a— Bother the girit" ses he inter- rupting himsilf, "Are you crazy? Let go me cote tales." I releesed him. Ses he irrytibly: "Can't you see I'm bizzy? I'm meshuring off me vigitible garden" and wid that he starts marching over the same line agin. " "My God, Mr. John!" ses I "are you using yur legs for a meshure?" But he herd me not. I toar me horry- fied eyes away fhim the madman, and just then I seen Mr. James. He was standing also on the Ion,* neerer the frunt of the house. He's leening on the Ion mower, and if ever I seen dispare in human eyes it was in those orbs of Mr. Jam^. I wint to him wid me hart full of sympathy for the lad. " Whats ailing you Mr. James ?** I arsks. "The Ions!" ses he. "You will ob- THB DIARY OF DELIA Mm Ddift "thai Fm eomamdng me al the beginning oi tlie week, for I am firmly convinsed no human arm cood cut those Ions in less than sivin days." "Why dont you get a dago, Mr. Mmm*' aes I. ses Mr, James, guving me arm a skur. " Spake lowly Delia. Ob-sarve" and he poynted acrost the Ions. There aginst the finse which dividea our place irom a grate estate was Ifiss Claire herdi digging, 1^ liad a little red gi i'lfum aprun over her dress and the s)^ -Ks rolled oop to the ilbos. On her ' was the strfciij^tv-jt looking site of a hat. I redemise:! it ^id hoRer. It wtts a j^Mnish BMmsterosity Bfir. James Iwol hrnda wid lilm that time he winl to Pannyrna to expose the Prissydint. Until this day Miss Claire had yused it for a waste paper barsket in her locmi, tying it in a boo ach wid ribb<» tad M THE DIARY OF DELIA hanging it artisticully upon the wall. Now she woar it on her hed! Joost thin she looked up from her digging and seen me. "Now Delia" ses she "dont be lyjther- ing Jimmy. Hes got lots to do. We all have" she adds swately. "What be you doing Miss Claire?*' arsks I, going over to her, and looking wid suspisshon at the hole she's after diggin. "My God Miss" ses I "it looks like a grave." "Delia! Why" ses she "I'm sitting out a flouring hidge. I'm foUring the rules of the bist orthorittto on horty- culcheer. See:" and she poynted to her pockets which were boolging out wid books. "All are agreed" ses she"ihat a gardin shud be begun wid a flouring hidge. My gardin will be thtf . "Ddia" ses he "wants to know how a man wud feel if suddintly assolted and amberaced by a yung and pretty lady — of coorse shes yung and pretty, Delia eh?" ses he. "YHiat wud he do!" ses Mr. James. "Lord God of Isreel why he'd— he'd pursoo her like a caveman till she guv anuther kiss." "My God!" ses I drapping the dishes in me hand, "and wimmen is jest alike." I wint down to me kitchen, whare I guv a peece of me minw for argying wid me hands boorsting wid wark this maming. Will you be going or shuU I ?" "WeU Deha deer" ses she meekly, "If you can make aven hash out of— nothing— c-cudent you just cuwer it over 80 THE DIARY OF DELIA wid mashed pertaters and brown it in the uwen ? It tastes diffruntly that way." *'rU see about it" ses I. "O Delia!" ses Miss Claire, *'be nice or I dont see how I'll dare to ask a speshtil favour of you." "Favour is it?" ses I tooming upon her. She roon ap to me, and befure I can shpake anuther word, shes got her arms about me. "Now lissen deer" ses she. "I've finished me floury hidge and this after- noon I must shtart on the beds. You do the digging for me like an ai^pel" ses she. *' Digging is it? Do you tak me for " " Please, please" ses she. "It depinds intirely on how the loonch goes" ses I gruffly. "Now raymimber not wan ward of crittersickem will I be heering to." THE DIARY OF DELIA 81 "Not wan word" ses she. After she had gone I dischuTreied that there was'nt a speck of tea in the house and exactly three co.ig. She guv a little start and blushed. Then she arsks sarcarskuUy : *'May I arsk if you can see it at that distunce ?" "Certainly" ses he at wunce, "but 1 belave I cud see it better if I cam a httle nearer." Wid that he joomps THE DIARY OF DELIA 85 over the fince and walks to where Miss Claire is neeling. Together they look at the airth. "Bully for you!" ses he offering to shake the hand which she holds back timidly. "Why" ses he "its— its a— a rose, is'nt it?" ses he. "No" ses Miss Claire withdroring the hand she had joost surrindered. "Its a hullyhock" ses she. "Well its fine anyhow" ses he, looking at her wid both his eyes popping out of his hed. "Youre quite a horty cul- churist" ses he. "O no indade" ses she, "its me first attimp. Do you" ses she "know anything about it ?" **WeH" ses he "I can tell a vylct from a rose and a dandylion from a daysy." "Then" ses she, "you wont be in- trested in my little gardin. " 86 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Wont I" ses he, so vylently she drops her eyes. "Why I'm ackshully captifated by that little speck of green" ses he. "Aren't you its creator?" "Wate till it begins to bloom" ses she enthoosicuUy. Joost thin she seen her brothers coming in wid the bote oars on their shouk!ers. She started away from the dood, and wint narvissly to meet thim. The dood histated a moment, and then wint ap to the boys. He hild out his hand. "I'm your next dure naybor" ses he "and I drapped over to make a corl." "How do" ses Mr. James giving him a corjul shake "Pretty good bathing here" ses he "Ever go out?" "O yes" ses the dood "We have a little privit beech of our own. Your welcom to use it any time." Mr. James frowned. THE DIARY OF DELIA 87 "The public beech is good enuff" ses he shortly, but Mr. John ses at wance : "Thank you I'll thiy your place sum day." I CHAPTER XIV ANOTHER DAT " TAMES" ses Mr. WoUey coming into *^ brekfust at an oonexpected airly our "you're a frord and raskill sir" ses he. The family all looked startled. "Yes sir" ses his father sturnly "ye*ve been deceiving your sister shamefully. You have been practicing a frord. I happened" ses he turning to the rist of the family "to awaken airly this marning and going to the window to pull down the shade I saw a man ingaged in cutting the Ions. Congrachulating mesilf on the possession of such an in- dustiyiss and paynestaking sun, I corled to the fellow, who thereupon looked up. He was a sworthy faced working man 90 THE DIARY OF DELIA — an Italyun. There Claire" ses he "is the sacred of your brothers well cut Ions." "Jimmy!" ses Miss Claire reproach- fully. He puts his hands into his pants pocket and thrys to look indiffrunt. "I ordered the feller off the grounds" continued her father "for I was de- tarmined that no sun of mine shud shirk his respunsibilities in that shameliss fashun. Sir" ses he, turning upon Mr. James, "you'll be good enuff to resoom the cutting of the Ions after brekfust." For wance Mr. James was silent. He et his brekfust widout opening his mouth wance. CHAPTER XV ANOTHER DAT A LITTLE widder who lives across the rode cum to-day to call upon the family. She brung along wid her a yung thing swate enuff to ate. They cum driving up behind a pare of spank- ing horses and drov up under the port coshare. Mr. James was cutting his milincoly Ion, and he niver looked up at all. Tlie younger one called to him swately. "Will you hold the horses, plase." Mr. James pushed back his hat and glared like he wad bite her. "I beg your pardin" ses she and the widder begins to larf and closed up her parrysol. Joost then Mr. John cum round from the back of the house. •1 9« THE DIARY OF DELIA He lucks very straynge and funny, being in overalls, his spicticles poysed on the tip of his nose, his hair standing opp where his fingers have been running through it. Its a turrible tax the poor gintleman has been doing. Shure hes been all day digging up the seeds which I carefully mixed and planted. The ladies in the carriage try to stop larfing and the yunger one joomps out. "Is Mrs. Wolley at home" ses she. Miss Claire laves her floury hidge and dood, and wint running forward, wid her little muddy hands hild out. I seesed hauid of an aprun on the line and tied it on me. Thin I wInt to anser the dure. Miss Claire is leeding them on to the veranda. "Fm Miss Wolley" ses she, "you find us all ingaged at our respictuf toyle. My brother James cuts the grass, John's THE DIARY OF DELIA 93 the vigitable gardiner, and I rayse swate flours " "What fun!" ses the widder clasp- ing her hands, "How perfeckly delitefuL It mus be just like playing, is'nt it," and she turned her big black eyes on Mr. John. "Will ye walk inside" ses I, braking in here, "Mrs, Wolley will be down in a moment. Shes not well, but she's for seeing you. Joost have a sect, she ses." "O lets sit out here!" ses the wid- der. "You were talking of your gar- din?" ses she turning to Mr. John wid a smile. «« — er yes" ses he. "But I'm a mere noviss. Do you understand anything about the art?" "Do I?" ses she, sitting in the saft- est veranda chare, "Why I've a reppy- tashun in the Poynt for me vigitibles. M THE DIARY OF DELIA Have*nt I Una?'* and she appealed to her frind, who has just infarmed Mr. James that sumtimes she cuts her papa's Ions wid her own fare hands, jest for exsysise. "Yes" ses Miss Una, nodding her pretty hed, **Why'* ses she *'theres a sertin kind of turnip nown to fame as The Widdy Jane." "Una!" ses the widder larfing, "but relly" ses she turning back to Mr. John agin "I manage my own little farm all mesilf." I let Mrs. WoUey out thru the fly dure and thin the auld gintleman wint out, also wid his face red and shinuig from the quick shave he*s given it. They all torked and larfed and thin finuUy got up .o go. Thin Miss Claire asks carelessly. "And hoo are our naybours on this side ?" and she intercated the doods place. THE DIARY OF DELIA 06 "Have'nt they called on you yet" arsks the widder. Mtf. Woiley frowned a bit, but Miss Claire ses swateiy: '*Oh yes one of the suns called." "One of the suns!'* ses the widder, "Why Harry's the only child. Una here," ses she, smiling "can tell you all about him." "I!" ses Miss Una, opening her brown eyes wide, "O yes" ses she "Harry and I yused to be sweet on aich other sen- turies ago. Hes a deer boy" ses she, "and you'll meet his mother soon I suppose, and old S. Judd Dudley." Mr. Wolley and Mr. James both bounced up in their sects. The auld gintleman conthrolled himsilf. "Pardon me, my deer" ses he "but did I oonderstand you to say our nay- bour's name was Dudley — S. Judd Dud- ley?" 06 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Yes" ses she "the famiss S. Judd. Youve herd of him of coorse." "I have" ses Mr. WoUey slowly, and the hole family looked at aich uther strayngely. CHAPTER XVI A WEEK LATEB 'T^HE curse of true love" ses Miss Claire mornfully "never did run smoothly. O Delia" ses she "I wish I were ded!" "Whats the thrubble. dariint?" ses I stopping me wark for a moment. "Dont you know?'* she arsks. "Why no darling. Do you think Fm at the kayhole (Ul the time?" She Urfed a bit throo her teers. Then she set down, and put her chin on her little hand. "Delia" ses she "do you know I havent spoken to Mr. Dudley for a week." ' My God miss" ses I, "are you cut- ting the lad?" She nods her hed sadly. 97 •8 THE DIARY OF DELIA "The poor lad!" ses I "and he do be wayting for you ivery day at the floury hidge." "Papa wont let me go neer it" ses she wid a sob. "Then why dussent the yung spalpeen cum to the house thin ?'* ses I indigantly. "He did" ses she "twice — and — and James insoolted him. " O Delia" ses she, and hid^s her face in her hands. I drors her into me arms and pets her like a babby, while she poars out into me sympatetic eers her thrubbles. "Vou know Delia" ses she "papa yused to be professer of mathymatucks at Logua Yunyversity. Well last win- ter James began that orful muck rake riting. It seems Mr. Dudley had given a grate many chares' to Logun Yuny- versity." "Chares darlint? For the lads to set upon?" THE DIARY OF DELIA 09 "No Delia — but it dussent matter. Anyhow he was a grate power in papa's colluge. Well James began exposing millynairs in the magazines and papers and by and by rote a powerful artuckle on tinted munney. He sed orful things of Mr. Dudley who wint clane crazy about it. You see he loved to pose as a bennyfactory to his cuntry and James had shown him as he was. It wassent papa's folt but Mr. Dudley revinged himself on papa. He got the thrustees to ask for papa's assignashun and now papa joins with James in think- ing him the gratest rarseal of the time. So you can see Delia" ses she, her lips trimbling "that nachully they hafnt much 3ruse for Harry, and — and they've forbidden me to speak to him again." "You poor lamb" ses I "but shure if I was Mr. Harry I'd find a way to see 100 THE DIARY OF DELIA you if I had to sneek into the kitchen itself to do it." "Delia!" ses she, clutching me arm excitedly, "What an idear! Oh Delia" ses she "Why not?" CHAPTER XVn ANOTHER DAT WROTE a letter to-day to me frind Minnie Camavan asking her advise. It were as follows: Deer Minnie; I hope you are well as this laves me at prisint. Its a long time since I seen yer swate face, but wid the wark of a family of six to do, besides helping Mr. James to cut the Ions, Mr. John to plant the gardin, whitewashing of the chicken coop for Mrs. WoUey, I*m clane doon up whin nite cums. But theres anuther kind of wark I*m lately doin^, and being its what mite be called mind wark me nerves ar b^inning to thntbble me and whin annyone spakes to me at all I shtart upp like a thafe cort at a crime. Its minny a day since I wint to confesshun and me mind is deeply thrubbled wid the thort that the praste will refuse me absilooshun. m 102 THE DIARY OF DELIA The thruth of the matter be that I*m helping a dorter decave her luving parents. Its 2 weeks now since I begun to let Mr. Harry in at the back dure. Me foine privit dining-room which Miss Claire had told me was for me to sit in alone is occupyed in the avening excloosively by Miss Claire and her bow. To add to me minny kares the child requires me to chappyrong her as shes after calling it. And so ivry nite there I sits in me kitchen drapping aslape some- times wid me hed on the table. Its hard on a poor sole, and on me Thirsdays and Soondays out the yung crachures do be bigging me to stay at home, she wid her coaxing words and he wid his everlasting munney. Shure its ritch I'm getting wid five dollars here and the tin dollars there. Now Minnie deer, rite me a swate letter at wunse and tell me what to do. The family do e soospecting nuthing, for Mr. Wolley seems to have sum sacred thrubble of his own. After Mrs. Wolley gets to bed at ate (she being a sufferer from insomnear ivery nite) I seen Mr. Wolley sneeking out of the house, like he was after going out for THE DIARY OF DELIA lOS some meeness, and she his lorful wife innersent and unsoospecting and he an old man wid four grown luvly children. The widder across the rode to be roon- ing after Mr. John and ivery nite hes aff to talk wid her about her preshus vigi- tibles, and wud ye belave it Minnie di-rlint she do be sinding over messes ivery day from her gardin "samples" she calb thim "of me own raysine.' Mr. James do be crazy wid luv for Miss Una Robbins but the poor lad do he making himsilf that oonhappy a body dare not spake to him at all at all. You see the girl do be a magnut's dor- ter and Mr. James is that set against all magnuts hes beside himsilf wid rage. Ah Minnie this do be a straynge bit there be two bold lads. Wan is very fine and ijjicated. He's Frinch — a ex- Eert shoffer as he ses. Its the hite of is ambition so he told me a few days sinse whin I be hanging out me clothes to own a small coontry shop for orter- mobiles, "Boot** ses he "it taks money to buy aven a modust little place/* ana arsks me carelessly whether J be of of coontry wid i aich uther. Ov< bod lov wid 104 THE, DIARY OF DELIA the savii^ kind of girl. "Why musser" ses I "fis $700 Iv've poot away in the bank for me auld age." ''Mon joor!" ses he, gaping at me, and it was just thin I made the acquintunce of the other lad. Hes a grate rude spalpeen, and he's after being in charge of the Dudley stables, so he tells me, ilbowing the perlite Frinchman aside. "Good manning!" ses he "I see yure new round these parts, or you wouidnt be after spal^mg wid the Frinchy." I confess Minnie I was thruly ashamed of the manner of the au!d cuntry when I seen the diffrunce betwane the axshuns of museer and the other \ran. I toomed a face of scorn upon the latter, picked up me baskit and marched aff in dudgin. I'll be closing me letter now, hoping your hilth is good as this leaves me at prisint. CHAPTER XVra TWO DATO LATER T ARST nite whin the intire family had retired for there hard aimed slape there cum a wild ringing at the dure bell. I herd it first in me slape and yells in frite, thinking of bound- ing nites and burglars. I opened me dure and stuck me hed out. The hole family were assimbled in the lower hall in their nite gowns. Mr. John called up to me : "Delia!" seshe,"wud ye plaseansser the bell." "I will not" ses I. "Do you tak ; . for a gump!" ' rheres somewan at the dure"^ses Miss Claire swately, "The boys arent drissed and nayther am I. Run along Delia." 105 106 THE DIARY OF DELIA "I'm dummed if I do*' ses I wid in- digation. "Oh'shaw" ses Mr. James, *'what fools we mortals be. Whares me re- volver?" ses he. "I'll go," and whistling down he desinds. We heer his voyce shouting at the closed door: "Who's there?" "Whatsthat?" "Who?" "A tillygram?" "One minute," and he opened the dure. " Who's it for ?" arsks the intire family at wanse. "Delia!" ses he, and the family larfing wint to there rooms. "Put it on the bottom stip darlint" ses I, "and get out of site if you plaze." I wint down and got the paper. It was as follows: THE DIARY OF DELIA 107 "Coming at wanse. The saints pro- tick you darlint in the manewile. Min- This marning whin I clared aff the brikfust dishes I fownd a letter oonder Mr. Wolley's chare, which dishthressed me badly. It were as follows: Deer sir: Do not fail to come to night early as Miss Flyte needs attention J. B. I in' 'ed to hand the dummed thing back to x%xr. WoUey spaking at the same time me humble but contemshus opinyon of an auld simmer like himself wid a luvly lorful wife and 4 preshus children of his own. But after breakfust Mr. Wolley wint out and I sor him not agin till nite. At tin Minnie arrived. She was all exsitement. "Now tell me widout words" ses die 108 THE DIARY OF DELIA "what divilmint the family has been oop to." "Divilment" ses I brideling "shure its a swate family they be. Its ashamed I am to heer you spaking langwidge aginst an innersint and luvly family like the WoUeys." **Ah go wan*' ses Minnie. *'Whats the auld spalpeen been up to larst." "If ye mane Mr. Wolley" ses I coldly, "then its a sore subjeck yeve tooched. O Minnie" ses I "the auld gintleman is a baste." Minnie like to ate me opp wid hunger for some more words upon th^ subjeck. I tuk out the letter and handed it to her widout further words. She red it throo widout spaking, but I seen her mouth and eyes popping wid exsite- mint. Joost thin Mrs. Wolley walks inner- sintly into me ^tchin. She has sum THE DIARY OF DELIA 100 fine lace in her hand, and she ses : Lind me your ironing bord Delia. I*m doing these oop mesilf." Joost thin she seen Minnie, and she smiles swately — ^'Ah is this a frind of yours, Delia ?'* ses she. Minnie got oop. I seen her studying the poor crachure for a moment, and then suddintly she walked oop to her and hild out the letter. '*I belave ma^o" ses she "that this will intrust you." "What is it?** ses tht madam, put- ting on her glarses. "Its a letter mam** ses Minnie "to yere hoosband." I seen her reed it throe, and aven then she had not grasped the meaning of the avil minded crachure*s words, till Ihe latter spoke oop agin: "Are you a dummy?*' asks Minnie, "Dont you see what yere auld man is after being oop to. Delia here*' ses 110 THE DIARY OF DELIA she *'uuienintly remarked about his sneeking out at nite to mate anuther female. The paper there reveels the auld man*s inamoreeta." I thort the auld lady wud faynt. She toomed white as milk, and I seen the paper shaking «n her hand like she had the ague. But wid out condisinding a ward to eyther Minnie or mesilf she wint out the kitchen and upstares. "Miss Camavan*' ses I, biling over wid rage, *'theres a trane laving widin tin minits. Yell have piinty of time to catch it.'* Minnie smiled. "Delia darlint" ses she "did you think I'd be after thravelling sixty miles to visit you for harf an our? No dar- lint" ses she "I've brot me bag along and I'll be wid you for a fortnite yet." "That you wont" ses I, "for its your bag will be out in the cinter of THE DIARY OF DELIA 111 the strate and yersilf will follow in a sicond.** Minnie faulded her arms and fixed me wid a look of power and scorn. "Delia Omally" ses she "the day you toom your best frind out into the strate** ses she "will be your last. Trate me** ses she **in anny way save as a perfeck lady and I'll publish yere letter on the housetops/' It cum upon me then that like the foolish loonytick I be I'd put mesilf in Minnie's power. **0 wirrah, wirrah, wirrah!" I cryed throwing me aprun over me bed. "Dont be after making a foo? of yer- silf'* ses Minnie, "Have sinse, Delia mavoumeen. Here I am, and here I stav." At loonch Mr. James and John et there meel alone. Mrs. Wolley and Miss Claire were locked up in the bed room. m THE DIARY OF DELIA During the meel the gintlemen spake not at all, save wanse thin Mr. John sed: *'Tak sum loonch upstares to mother and Claire, Delia" ses he, and thin after a moment: '*Get that woman out of the house" ses he "as quickly as possible." "And Delia" puts in Mr. James, con- throlling his nachelly loud voyse, "kape your mouth shut" "Yes sor" ses I. Mr. WoUey did not turn up again aven for dinner, and the hole family, wid the ixsipshun of the madum et in silense. Miss Claire's eyes looked red, and I seen her lips were trimbling, as tho she cud skursely kape the teers back. She cum downstares after the meel, and wispers in me eer: "Heres a note for Mr. Dudley when he cams. I — I wont be home to-nite Delia" ses she wistfully. "Whare are you going darlint." THE DIARY OF DELIA 118 "To look for father "ses she. "O Delia'* ses she, **I'm afrade sumething dredful is about to happen." "Let me go wid yon darlinl'* »es I. "But — the letter? * sec she, "some- wan must give it to Mr. Dudley." "I'll be plazed to do it" spoke up Minnie at wanse. She looked at Minnie misdoutfully. Thin she wint up to her and quitely guv her the note. "FU trust you then!" ses she to the crachure. About sivin in the avening the hole family, including meself set out from the house for 17 Arch Strate, which is the number on the letter paper. Mr. John and Mr. James walked on eyther side there puir mother, haulding her up by the arms, while Miss Claire and I carried hankychiffs and smilling salts. By and by we cam to the place* a little lU THE DIARY OF DELIA auld barn setting up aginst the side walk. The family guv a look at the noomber and thin walked boldly in widout nocking. There were a noysy lot of men inside. A little greesy fellow in overalls cum sontering up to Mr. John. "What can I do for you ?*' ses he. Mr. James ansers befure his brother can spake. "Is Mr. Wolley here ?" ses he bloontly. "Shure" ses the man "he's over there wid Miss Flyte" ses he. Mrs. Wolley stepped forward, her eyes popping out wid anger. "Where?" ses she in such a horty tone the man stared at her wid surprise. "There!" ses he, and poynts across the bam. "Hes having a bit of trubble wid the auld lady" ses he. We wint across the barn, but see nothing but wan of thim red tooring cars. We've cum close to the orter- THE DIARY OF DELIA 115 mobile whin Mr. James makes a dis- cuvery. Theres sumwan lying under- nathe the masheen. He's hammering on sumthing, and theres a lited lantern on the fluie beside him. Just as the discuvery was made, Mr. John like- wise seen the feet; then Miss Claire recky- nised her papa's boots and me his hat. Mrs. WoUey nelt down and looked under the masheen. Then she guv a scrame. "Charles?" ses she and almost faints. Mr. Wolley cum crorling frum under- nathe the ortermobile. He looks a site, wid his face cuwered clane wid dirt and his hands dripping down wid greese. He guv a look about him, seen us all, and drapped his mouth open wid aston- ishment. Joost then Mr. James burst out larfing, and the hole blessed family joyned in. "You dummed old frord" ses Mr. James. 116 THE DIARY OF DELIA •*What do you meen sor?" ses Mr. Wolley. "Whares Miss Flyte?" asks Mr. John. The auld fellow looked sheepish, and he guv a look back at the ortermobile. "Well, ye may as well no the thruth" ses he, **Ive made a good invistmint. I*ve bort Miss Flyte. She's a ginooine bargin, better than anny Frinch imported car, and at quarter the price. I've been coming avenings to lem how to run and understand her. Isn't she a booty ?" ses he, turning to his new infachuation. Mrs. Wolley guv a little sob, then she run tord him jest like a child, and he guv her a kiss, and then helped her clime into the masheen. "There's room for six" ses he. "All aboord. We'll tak Miss Flyte home." CHAPTER XIX NEXT DAY N OTERMOBILE" ses Mr. Wolley ■i- ^ at the brekfustt able **is the vee- hicle of the moduns. Its a boom to soofering yumanity in this yumid and turribly trying and hot summers of this clirnut. In my opinyon" ses he, "its the greatest of modun invinshuns. Dont interrupt James" ses he, turning upon Mr. James, who was snickering noysily, "I confess" ses Mr. Wolley "that I was want sometime ago to curse the horseliss vehicle, but times are changed" ses he, "and we who wish to kape step wid the times must grow wid it. A noter- mobile is a cooltivated taste its like olives. Whin first tasted we detist its flavour, but having thryed it wanse or 117 118 THE DIARY OF DELIA twioe we becum its ardint slaves. Jimmy" ses he "pass me anuther musk melon. John cr — whats the news this marning?" " O nothing par" ses Mr. John grinning behind his paper. "Our rickliss pressy« dint is waring pink pyjamas and Roosel Sage is ded." .\s I was coming down the steps lead- ing from the oopstares to the bastemint, who should I see, standing outside me kitchen door, but Mr. Moolvaney. The gintleman has his face aginst the closed dure, and hes after serrynading the lady inside — namely, me warm frind Minnie Carnavan, wid the foiling sinseliss milody. I shstood still on the stares to lissen: "In Dublin's fair city The girls are so pretty I wanse laid me eyes On Miss Mdly Malone, Who wheeled a wheel barrow The streets broad and narrow Of cockles and mussels alive, alive, Hoi THE DIARY OF DELIA 119 Alive, alive. Ho, hoi Alive, alive, Ho, ho! Of cockles and miuwds Alive, alive. Hoi She was a fish monger But shure twas no wonder For so was her father ana mother before And thev both wheeled a barrow The streets broad and narrow Of cockles and mussels alive, alive. Hoi She died of the fever. Whin no wan cud save her And that was the ind of Miss Molly Malone But her gost wheels her barrow The streets Inroad and narrow CM cockles and mussel alive, alive. Ho! As the gintleman finished I shtepped down the stares, and joost thin he toomed about and seen me earning tord hiin. He guv a shstart, and ses he: "AVhy Delia, is it yersilf, indade? Well^ well" ses he, "and shure I was after thinking it was yersilf was inside the kitchin. " 120 THE DIARY OF DELIA I condisinded not wan ward, but I walked into me kitchin, past the false craychure, and I shoot the dure bang in his face. Minnie's seeted on a chare, shsmiling from eer to eer. "Its a grand voyse" ses she, "I*m after lissening to. Who is the handsum gintleman Delia deer" ses she. Joost thin the spaking chube rung out and I wint to it at wanse, and shouted oop at the tap of me voyse: "I refoose to ansswer!" nd wid that I shstopped up the doomed thing wid me dish towel. CHAPTER Xy A WEEK LATER TTS been a week of sorrer and dis- -■- thress since Minnie Carnavan cam to visit me. Shure theres been no more peace or cumfort in me brest. She do be the most obstreprus crachure in the warld, shsticking her auld nose into iwrywan's thrubbles and ristliss and onhappy widout shes making mischiff. Ivery nite since Minnie cum there do be thrubble of sum sort. Shes after making the lives of the poor yung crachures disthressful, by inter- feering in their innersint convysashun. Ivery nite whin I streches out me weery tired body upon me bed I lissen to the words of Minnie. Mr. Doodley do be a rascal and a isi 128 THE DIARY OF DELIA scallywag. He do be desining to rooin the life of Miss Claire. Its me thats a sinful crachure for not exposing thim to her parents and brothers, and its she Minnie Camavan, who will seek counsil of her holy father confisser, whos no wan but hersilf. Its ny to busting she is wid keeping the sacred of the puir yung crachures love affare, and its tired I am wid me indliss attimpts to conthrol her. And now its in dred and feer I am that something dredful is about to happen. To-nite whin Minnie was lissening at the dure, wid her eer pricked up aginst the keyhole of me private dyning- room, Mr. Dudley suddenly opens the dure. He has a bottle in his hand, and as he opens it Minnie falls at his feet. "Is there a cat here?" ses he, and shqirts the silzer wather in her face. CHAPTER XXI FOLLOWING DAY THIS marning whin I waked I mwted Minnie Carnavan at me sirle. Sit- ting up and looking about me, I seen Minnie seeted at me table, riting a litter. She seen me whin ^ set up, and she faulded oop her litter ani licked 'n-^ invilip. "Well Minnie Carnavan" ses I "and what are you up to at this unarthly our ?'* "Hoosh, darlint!" ses she, caming to me bed, and setting demn beade me. "Delia" ses she "I've dua it." "Dun what?" ses I and I begin to have misgivings. "I've rote" ses Minnie "to the auld gintlenu n." To Mr. WoUey" ses I a bit daft. 128 i 124 THE DIARY OF DELIA "No" ses she shaking her hed. "To the lad's father." For a minit me tung faled me. I stared at the crachure in silinse. She got ap from me bed and sarched about for her hat, found it and put it on. "Delia O'Malley" ses she "That yung Dudley fellow do be fresh as sour milk" ses she. "Its been on me con- shunse iver sinse I came, mavoumeen, to poonish him for his thricks. Its desaving the pretty Miss Claire hes after oop to. Trust an auld girl like Minnie Carnavan to see throo the thricks of a yung spalpeen like that." "Minnie" ses I meekly, for theres a feer in me hart that maks me week as a kitten, "Tell me the truth darlint. Be you going to male a litter to the lad's father?" "Indade and I am" ses Minnie bauld- ly, "and to mak shure" ses she "that THE DIARY OF DELIA 125 the old dude gets it safely, I'll be me own postman and deliver it in person. Goodbye Delia mavoameen, I'll not be coming back. Give me luv to Mr. Mulvaney." Befure I cud git me wits thegither again, Minnie, the ritched, false crachure was gone. I herd the fruut dure dose behind her. I CHAPTER XXn NEXT DAT OH WIRRAH! wirrah! winah! Its a sad and loansome warld and its a trecherus snake is Minnie. Yesterday me hart was full of feers. Its menny an effort I made to relave mesilf to Miss Claire, but for pity for the puir yung creachure me tung refused to spake. Last nite was a nite of shocks. Mr. John cum down to the bastemint and taks possisshun after dinner of me prival dining-rume. The widder do be giving him a barskit full <^ • seeds, frish picked from her gardin, and he's after wanting he ses to sort thim out and mark the reyspictiv packages so he may know them nizt 1«8 THE DIARY OP DELIA Spring whin hes going to have a fine gardin. Miss Claire cum into me kitchin, wid her bloo eyes swimming wid teers. "What will we do, Delia?" ses she, "John is in the dining-room to-nite, and I cant get him out." "Now don't you be after wurriting darlint" ses I, *'Shure Mr. Harry is wilcam to me kitchin.'* "But John may walk in upon us** ses she despritly. "He'd better not" ses I, and wid that I wint to the dure and called out to Mr. John : "Will ye be good enuff to kape your disthance from me kitchin to-nite, as its private company I'm expicting." "Very well Delia" ses he perlitely. I wint outside to the bastemint dure, and wated in person for Mr. Harry. When he arrived, I tauld him the state THE DIABY OF DELIA 129 of things, and he slipped into me kitchen. Miss Claire were sitting on me table, her little feet swinging in the air. **Grood avening'* ses she, trying to smile and look chareful "Ye'll obsarve" ses she "the extrames to which we are driven. John holds the fort to-nite." Mr. Hany is haulding her hands as she spakes, and watching her face like he wad ate her up. "Had I better go thin?" ses he. "O, if you want to" ses she, slipping down from the table, and turning away from him a bit. "Want to!'* seb he, "You don't meen that!" "No" ses she, saftly, "I— I dont." I thot the yung lad wud grab her, but joost thin he seen me and kept still. Miss Claire sayses hauld of a frying pan. "Never mind" ses she "We'll enjoy 180 THE DIARY OF DELIA oursilves aven in the kitchen? You've never tasted me famiss fudge, have you Mr. Dudley?" "No" ses he, looking at her pretty arms, as she rolled back the sleeves from thim. "Well" ses she "I lamed to make it in me Vassa days. Gret me an aprun, Delia" ses she. I brot her wan of her own — a little red gingum thin wid frills and pockits. She let him button it behind her, and he tuk so long she broke away larfing and blooshing. "Now" ses she "Fom may help me. I want cream, sugar, butter and chocklett. A bit of vernilla too" ses she. They set to work, busy and happy as chUdrun making mud pies. By and by the stuff was cooked, and she set him to mixing it, "and mix it stiff" ses she, "while I greese the pans." THE DIARY OF DELIA 181 This dun, she took a spoon and scoop- ing out a bit she hild it to his lips. He, not looking at the fudge, but wid his eyes fixed on her, opened his mouth and took in the spoon. Then he gov a yell and down drapped the spoon. "Oh!** ses she, turning pail, "wuz it hot ? Harry ! '* ses she, " I burned you ! " "You call me Harry!" ses he, and saysed hauld of her by the arms. I was watching wid all me eyes, whin I herd the dure squake a bit. Befure I cud move tords it Miss Claire roon oop aginst it and hild it closed wid her little hands. "The china closet, Delia!'* she wis- pered, and I shuwed Mr. Harry into the closet and banged the dure tite. Whin we let in Mr. John he looked about him. "Whats the matter?" ses he, "Why did you hauld me out?*' 138 THE DIABY OF DELIA "O" ses Miss Claire, gayly, "Its a game Delia and I are playing." He frowned and ses cauldly. "Ye cud find bitter implyment I fancy than playing in the kitchen wid Delia. Your not a child Claire" ses he. Shes about to spake in ansser whin the frunt dure bell run, and I saized me aprun and wint to ansser it, laving the yung peeple alone. As I reeched the upper flure, I seen Mr. WoHey turning on the lites in the hall. Then he opened the dure. A little auld gintleman wid wiskers on his cheeks and spats on his feet stud there.. "Good avening" ses he, "Mr. WoUey, I belave?" I cud tell by Mr. WoUey's back that his face was purple. He harf closed the dure, and thin agin opened it. "What is it you want ?** ses he roodely. THE DIARY OF DELIA 188 "Who is it father?" ses Mr. James* oomeiiig into the hall, then he too sem the little gintleman. Tlie latter is spak- ing wid horchure and dignity. "I cum, sor" ses he, "to — er — ask — you sir, to requist me sun to lave your house." "I don't oonderstand you" ses Mr. WoUey cauldly. "I resaved" ses the auld gintleman, stepping into the hall, "a nonnymuss epissle this marning. Ordinary I ignoar sich things, but me suspishuns had al- reddy been aroused. I tuk it upon mesilf to play the detictive to-nite. When me sun left the house I followed him here. I saw him inter ye're place be way of the — er — ^bastemint" ses he hortily. "I wayted around a bit and thin desided to spake to you personally. You — er — ^probably appreeshiate me position" ses he. "I of coorse, shall 184 THE DIABY OF DELIA absolutely refuse to reckynise anny foolish shcrape of the yungster — he's a mere boy" he adds loftily. "Sir" ses Mr. Wolley, "if yure yung ass of a sun — yuse the word advisedly** ses he **has been making a fool of him- silf over a girl in me imploy» I am not intrusted in the affare. Will you be good enu£F to go to the back dure." Wid that he*s about to open the dure, when he seen me standing there. "Delia!** ses he, "Heres your yung man's father. Just tak him into the kitchen." Old Mr. Dudley seemed aboot to boorst, but befure he cud spake, Mr. James tuk him by the arm and lid him gintly but firmly to the kitchen dure. As I was about to follow Mr. Wolley saised hauld of me slave. "Delia!" ses he, wispering excitedly, "is Claire doon stares?** THE DIARY OF DSLIA IM N-no — ^jc^—indade I dont know gir'* MS I and 1 picked up me apnm and ^gua Id cry into it. We difinded to me kit^in — ^Mr. Wol- ley, Mr. James and auM Mr. Dudlej, who shtcrnb^ed on the lark st*»p^ and sneezed ^hin he g )t to the ^oitom. In the kiteyn we cum uf <. a ^raynge site. Miai Claire was * -^ wid her bad^ apnst me dt; 1 r eyes werr wiki loVing, and ska kept talis t . fr. -^im \. ho stud be- fii.e bf^T. "Go away, Mml Go away!" ses she. ^Yent Am (^es dure! You shan't! You thtmlV st ^v. Then she seen i 4 all and ^He e I'ttle cry. . i^.ia! O *elia!" ses she, "dont m ^ — ^ae soospicts sumthing," stf td tb^ ^e poot heap he saizing me by the shou wi- der, *'Did you heer him say that he — ^he loved me?" "That I did darhnt" ses I, "so dont you be after wurrying, for all the avil minded brothers in the warld, all the cross eyed, hard harted, black sowled, crool fathers and mothers cant coom betune a pare of swateharts whin troo love is after stipping in." "Yes" ses she aimestly "but do you relly think he ment it?" **Ment it! Its ashamed I am of you Miss Claire. Is it misdouting the woord of Mr. Dudley, you be, and he as foine a yung chap as iver stepped alive ?'* Hie teers dryed up like magick, and she smiled as swately as a aingel. " Yes " 148 THE DIABY OF DELIA ses she "he did mean it, and all tuiU cum rite, for love*' ses she "w^ shurely foind a way.*' *'That k wm*' ses I. Well, thin she wint to bed, and I be- lave slipt sowndly, for her cheeks were pink as roses in the maming, and ha eyes brite and luvly. Ske ses "Goad marnkig everybody'^ in a braTe gay toan whim she cam to the brekfust table, wid the intyre family setting there and waiting in agunny for her to apeer. all suffering wid the thort of her broken hart. Mr. John lifts cop his paper, and I seen him frowning like to brake his face behind it — ^hes that ankshiss to keep back a teer. Auld Mr. WoUey blew his nose like it was a throompet. Mr. James swollers his coffee red hot, and Mrs. Wolley tuk to crying to hersilf. Miss Claire guv a kiss to little Witty THE DIABY OF DELIA 14S and wan to her father. Then she et her brekfust, beeming on everybody. After brekfust Mrs. Wolley cam into the kitchen and guv me the orders for the day. I herd Mr. WoUey's orter- mobile and looking from me winder seen him go by wid Miss Claire setting by Ids side, and Mr. John and James in toHM). Mr. Billy wint out to his sand pie and Mrs. Wolley l^t me in peese. It was baking day and I had jest set me bred into the pans for the fynal raysing and had c^ned the oven dure to see 1k>w me spunge cake was doing, whin I herd a bit of muvement at me back. I turned aboot, and let out a turrible yell, for there was me frind from the Dudley's. He do be standing in me kkc&in bauki and l^raz^ as if he bdonged thore, and thms a larf in his eye and on his bauld mouth too. 144 THE DIARY OF DELIA Now if theres wan thing bad for spoonge cake it do be a sudden bang or noyse. Its bownd to mak the finest cake fall down. Silinse is the rool wid all good Gooks whin the cakes in the ooven. I throo wan look at me sponge cake and shure enuff the preshus stuff had fallen flat. Thin I rose and faced aboot on the impident yung spalpeen standing there. "Its plane to see*' ses I me hands on ;e hips "whare you hale fnim. Its ashamed I am to acnolege you a coon- tryman of me own, and its lissons in foine manners ye mite be after taking" ses I "from the foine cortsheeis yjLmg gintleman wid hoom ye have the daytf honour of assoshyating." "Is it the frog ater ye're maning, Delia deer?" ses he. "Me name" ses I "Is Mss O'malley, and its no time I'm after having for the loike oi you." Wid that I picked up THE DIABY OF DELIA lU me chopping bowl and wint to wark upon the hash, a sartin looach dispised by Mr. James whos after wantiiig stake wid every meel. Mr. Mulvaney guv a larfing look at the dure lately intercated by me, then he walked over to it carelessly and shut it closed. Wid that I almost chopped me thoomb off in me rage. He cum over to the table and set upon it wid his foot a swinging. Then he leaned tord me and wispered. "Delia darlint" ses he "what wud ye be after giving me for a love letter." I sthopped me diopping» and guv him wan bok of contimpt and scorn. "Larry Mulvaney" ses I "if ye're wanting to no the throo value of the artucle you minshun I'll tell you. Its a clout over the eer I'd be giving you f<» reword" ses I and I chopped feercely. "But suppose'* ses he, leenlng • bit 146 THE DIAHY OF DELIA neerer "that the Utter was not for you." At that I stopped me chopping. "If its Minnie ye're fwate on " but here he interrupted and took the paper from his coat and tossed it up in the air. "Its for Miss Wolley" ses he, "and its from Mr. Harry himself." I guY such a joomp me chopping boal wint over, wid all me prishus hash on the flure, and that the last mmil of meet in the house for loonch. "My God, Mr. Mulvaney!** ses I, "do you mean it?" He's very bfty now, and risii^ oop ses hortily: "I'd like to see Miss Wdley if you plaze. Miss 0*Malley" ses he wid emfasis. "Shes out" ses I. He moved lord the dure, me aafter him, and I cort him by his slave. TRB DIABY OF DELIA m *'Guv it to me Lany!" I bcfged» "Ito nivter a eiuuioa the familjr wiU giir you to hand ft to the pu^ child and shure if ye*ll jest hand it to me 1*11 slip it ii,to her hand widout a sole in the house gessing the trooth." But Mr. MulTaney put the letter into his brist pocket. Then he croased his arms, and stares at me. "Delia*' sts he, **tell me the thruth. Are you sweet on the Frinchman?" "Thats me personal affare, Mr. Mooi- vaney" ses I. "Becorse if ye are" sea he 'Mt« mily fare to let ye know hes r r- after ye-re hard aimed sayings. 1 ..u I rinch are blick, but its a true hart ye're needing to leen upon." "Larry Mulvaney" sea I "will you or will you not be after handing me the letter for Mms Claire?" "On wan condition*' ses he. 148 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Spake it" ses I. ** Guv me a kiss, darlint" ses he. "I'll be dummed first" ses I wid indigation. "Be dummed then" ses he, "but lissen swatehart. Mr. Dudley do be sinding Mr. Harry aff to Yurope to- morrow marning airly. Its the long distunse cure the auld gintleman do be after expiating for the lad. Now Mr. Harry has rote a litter of ixplanashuns to Miss Claire appoynting an intervew. So Delia darllnt its oop to you. Shall Miss Claire have the litter or shall she not?" "My God Mr. Mulvaney" ses I "do you mean to say ye*d be holding back the litter from the puir yung thing?" "Oonless" ses he, "you guv me a kiss." "Tak it then" ses I "and be dummed to you." THE DIARY OF DELIA 149 Wid that he guv a joomp, saysed me about the waste and kissed me smack on the lips, and me riddy to sink into the airth for shame, for shure its the first time a lad do be giving me a kiss. He slipped the letter into me hand. Wid that I cam to me sinses and struck out wid me free hand. But Earry guv a larf at the smack I'm giving him and ses he: "Delia darlint thats nothing but a love smack. Goodbye mavoumeen, it'll be manny a day befure ye'U forgit the kissing I've given you." Whin he was gone I looked about me kitchin, hardly knowing what I was seeing, wid the ixdpshun of the hash on the flure. Prisintly I herd the family coming home and I sneeked upstares hoping to get the chance of seeing Miss Claire alone. The family was on the porch, and I herd Mr. James reeding aloud horn a litter in his luuid: 150 THE DIABY OF DELIA "Deer Miss WoUey" he red, "me sun sales for Yurope per S. S. Gemumya to-morrow morning at 7. and is ac- cumpanied by Miss Una Bobbins and her father.*' Thin followed a few more wards in which the auld scallywag congrachulated the puir yung trachure upon her iscape from a young fellow whos intinshuns were not seerius since he was all the time ingaged to another girl and he begged to remane hers fathefully S. Judd Dudley. I left the family looking at aich other in silince and wint oop thray stips at a time to the child's room. I nocked saftly. "Min Chiire!" I called. I herd her sobbing inside and I called agin, "Miss Claire darlint!" At that she called: "Go away Delia! Go away!" "Miss CUire!" I called wid me mouth THE DIARY OF DELIA 151 to the keyhole "for the love of God open the dure." After a moment I hefd the key tura mad thin she cqpeoed it jooft a eraek or two. I thzoMi in rae h«id and i&ayved the letter in at the dure. I herd her guv a little moofled scrame and thin she was sylint. I stole away down stares and cryed in peece in me dish towel. Shure I*d be giving the baold lad a hocnuired kisses more, ef he were to ask me again for thim joost now. CHAPTER XXIV NEXT DAY AT 4 A. M. Miss Claire cum into me room. She's all dressed and she shuk me a bit and brung me me clothes. "Dress quickly Delia" ses she, "I'm going to meet him." Mr. Harry?** ses I. She nods, her eyes shining both wid teers and smiles. "Hurry!" ses she, "Its still dark and I'm afrade to go doon stares alone.** I was into me clothes in a minit and thegither we wint down the back stares. We cum to the bastemint and Miss Claire opened the back dure, and stud there waiting. There was not a bit of sun at the our, and it getting tord the fall the air do be chilly. Ivery whare we looked there seemed to be oo|^y us 154 THE DIARY OF DELIA gray clouds in the sky and the grass do be thick wid hevvy jew. But Miss Claire waited on at the dure, and wotched the sky, *'For" ses she, "he sed at sun- rise." After a bit I seen a speck of gold cum crapping into the gray of the sky and it grew a wee bit liter. Then I seen Mr. Harry cum acrost the Ion. Miss Claire seen him too and she wint out a step or two to meet him. Then he seen her and he cum running tord her, wid his arms hild wide out, and she started running tord him likewise, till they cum to aicfa other, and then wid never a word they were in aich other's arms, he toom- ing oop her face and looking at it. Thin soodently she put it doon aginst his coat (jest as I had dun wid that bold Larry) and she begun to cry saftly joost as if her hart was broken. "Lissen Claire, me darlint'* ses he. THE DIARY OF DELIA 155 **I love you! We love aich other. The warld itself cannot divide us." "But your going away! Your going away!" ses she, "Your going away!" and thin she looked up at him, and hild his arms tite as tho she wud not let him go. "Only for a little wile" ses he "joost to consillerate dad. He thinks" ses he smilling scornfully, "that I'm not in airnest darlint. He offers to put me to the test. He's guv me his ward that he'll put no obsticle in me parth if I'll be gone for 6 months. Darlint" ses he "you kin wate that long for me. Otherwise I don't see what we can do. I haven't a red cent and we cuddent live on nothing." But she still sobbed a bit aginst his coat, and she ses: "And Una Bobbins is going too. Is she — are you ingaged to her?" ses she. 156 THE DIARY OF DELIA "I*m ingaged to you*' ses he so vylently that she larfed a bit, and then he tuk her hand and slipped a ring on wan of her fingies: "Its a cheep little thing" ses he * It was me mothers. When father gave it to her they was puir — puir as — er — Delia there — ^he a plane worker in a masheen shop and she a cuntry teecher." Then he kissed the finger wid the ring on, and they put there arms aboot aich other and clung a bit thegither. "Goodbye my love!" ses he. "Goodbye Harry!" ses she. They seppyrated for a sicond and wint away aich from the uther. Thin they flew back to aich other and clung a bit again. And agin they seppyrated and she run tord the bastemint dure wid her hand to her throte like she was choking. She roon down the stares and I tuk her into me arms. She was shaking THE DIAEY OF DELIA 167 and trimbling like a child. Then we herd Mr. Harry's voyse; "Claire!" he called and he cum down the stares. "Oh God!*' ses he '*I cant do it" ses he. And again they clung. They broke away agin, she pushing him along. "Goodbye** ses she. "Now go — before they cum" ses she. Then when he was gone she run up the stares and bolted the dure. I herd him at the other 3ide, pooshing at it. "Claire! Claire! Claire!** he called, and she inside: "Harry! Harry! Oh my love!" ses she. "Goodbye, goodbye!*' CHAPTER XXV TEN DAYS LATER GOOD marning Delia" ses Mrs. Bang (the widdy acrost the strate) "Is anny wan at home ?** "Oh yes mam*' ses I, litting her in throo the fly dure. "Mr. John" ses I "is alter shaving his face mam*' ses I " Will ye wait till hes throo ?" "Why anny of the family will do" sep she, flushing. "Ye'U find Mr. WoUey" ses I "in the stable. Hes oond^nathe the ort»- mobile as yushuL Mrs. WoU^ is after taking her noonday syester, as Mr. James calls it and Miss Claire is in her room. Mr. James has gone to town. Mr. Billy is hilping his daddy." "m see Miss Wdley" ses she hortily. 150 MICROCOPY RESOLUTION TEST CHART (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) ^ APPLIED IIVMGE Inc 1653 East Main Street Rochester, New York 1*609 USA (716) 482 - 0300 - Phone (716) 288 - 5989 - Fa« 160 THE DIARY OF DELIA I wint oop to tell Miss Claire. She looked a bit poot out. "Wheres John?" she arsked at wanse. "Shaving miss" ses I. She wint down stares, and she and the widder kissed. I wint abboot me wark doosting the dyning rume, and wiping oop the parkay flure wid a greesy cloth, manewhile linding an eer to the illygunt convysashun of the widdy. She do be fond of the sownd of her own voyce, and she threated the puir yung crachure to sooch an indless strame of sinsliss gossip as iver I had the misforthune to lissen to befure. Puir Miss Claire sat wid her chin on her hand, pretinding to lissen but heering not a word of the widdy 's discurse. After a bit the widdy seemed to tak notiss of her silinse. "You seem a bit distray this marning deer" ses she. Miss Claire set up. THE DIARY OF DELIA 161 "Oh no no" ses she, "I— Fm all rite Mrs. Bangs." The widder leened back and fanned hersilf carelissly. "So Harry Dudley has gone" ses she, wotching Miss Claire. "It was very suddint I belave." Miss Claire was all awake now, white and red in turn, but she sed nuthing. "And Una Robbins is gone too" ses the widder. Suddintly she closed up her fan sharply. "Do you no" ses she "I want to say sumthing to you orful badly but I feel I haven't the rite to — not being a mimber of your family." Joost then Mr. John cum down, look- ing very spry and neet wid his new shaven face and hare frish brushed. "Hello" ses he, and shuk the widder's hands. "Are you going Claire?" ses he, for she was going lord the stares. "If Mrs. Bangs will excuse me" ses m THE DIARY OF DELIA she, "I'll finish the litter I was writing. rU be back shortiy." Whin she was gone, Mr. John pulled up a chare and sat forward looking at the widder who opened her fan agin and was looking at the pichure on it. "Mr. Wolley" ses she suddintiy, "I'm afrade I've offinded your sister. Oh deer*' ses she, "I do want to ip.terfeer in the affares of this foolish and im- practicul family. I'm shure" ses she, "If I only had the opporchunity I cud make both Claire and your brother Jinuny see the errow of their ways. Take Jimmy for instunse. He's like a prickly porkypine lately, riddy to scrach wun if wun dares to aven look at him. Look at the state of his Ions. Why the grarss is a mile hy and the weeds have all cum up in the carrag6 drives. Why I cud tell him in a minit how to rid the drives of weeds. Salt — salt's THE DIARY OF DELIA 16S the thing! Jest spred it on the drives. It'll kill the weeds at wunse. But ah deer me" ses she sighing hevily, "I've not the rite to advise Jimmy or cunsole Claire." "And why have you not?" ses Mr. John camly, tho I seen him move his fingers about in the nerviss way he has. "Why have I not the rite?" repeets the widder, opening her eyes innersintly. "Becos I*m not wan of the family" ses she. Mr. John got up, tuk a cupple of ner- viss walks acros the room, and thin soodintly wint back to the widder. He set himsilf doon on the arm of her chare leaned over her. She did'nt boodge an inch, tho I seen her get red oonder the look he guv her. "Jane" ses he, "be wan of the family." "Good grashis!" ses she, leaning back so her neck nachully fitted in the coorve 164 THE DIARY OF DELIA of his anii» "are you proposing to me, "Mi. Wolley?" ses she. "Yes Jane" ses he, "I'm orfully in love wid you." Wid that she tilted back her hed, guv him a long look, then delibritly orferred him her lips. "Hilp yersilf John" ses she, "Fm yours." She's larfing while she speaks, but she's crying a bit jest like ivery other woman whin he's doon wid her. Mr. John who is a fare sized gintleman slipped down from the arm of the chare to the seet beside her. The widder is pretty ploomp hersilf and they squeezed up closely thegither, leaning aginst aich other and spooning like yun^ fokes, he being thirty if he's a day and she a widder. "Now that I've got the rite to inter- feer" ses she after a moment, "I'm THE DIABY OF DELIA 1«5 going to do it wid a vingiiise. Hold on a bit" ses she, pooshing him aff from her, *'Now lissin to sense, John Wolley. Go upstares and tell Claire I want to spake to her." "Spake to her to-morrow" ses he. "No" ses she, shaking her hed de- sidedly, "John" ses she, "you an I have a whole life yet to spind thegither. I can spare you for a little wile. I came to-day upon a partikuler errant. I had sumthing to say to Claire, but first it was nedssery for me to have the rite to say it. The proposul and— ah — acciptunse was a meeat dyagrisshun, and wile I confiss to a shameliss weekniss for your shtyle of wooing darlint, yit I'm not to be swurved from the ob- jick of me misshun. There! Go and get Claire, and whin I'm throo wid her ctim back" ses she. Finally, wid more airging, she in- 166 THE DIARY OF DELIA jooced the puir lover to go after his sister» and whin he's brot Miss Claire back, she waves her hands airily and ses: "Begone! I want to spake to your sister aloan." Whin they were aloan she f arely beemed upon Miss Claire, and then: "And now to resoom deer" ses she "I was about to say sumthing to you whin your brother interripted." "Mrs. Bangs" ses Miss Claire, wid agytashun, **plase dont — dont talk to me aboot " "Harry?" ses the widder* wid her eyes raysed up. "Why me deer" ses she, "who has a better rite to talk to you about your luwer than yure sister deer" ses she swately. "My " began Miss Claire, and stared at her wid round eyes. Sud- dintly, she saised hauld of the widder's hand and ses she wid excitement: THE DIARY OF uL lA lfl7 "You dont mean " The widder nodded, the teers cuming into her eyes. "But — ^but he's a confirmed old bachei- ler" ses Miss Claire. *«Is he ?" ses the widder. " Wdl aU good things cum to an end. However John and I are beside the quiston. I merely told you as an excuse for seeming to pry into you sacred affares. Give me a kiss now and poar out yo**r hart and sole into me sympytfaetic eers.*' Then they kissed and the widder pushed Miss Claire into a chare, and set down hersilf. Befure the girl can spake o r hersilf crossly: Now will you tell me why you were such a little goose as to let Harry Dudley slip throo your fingers? My deer" ses she interrupting Miss Claire as she started in to spake. "The boy was mad — dane daft about you. Now ans- 168 THE DIARY OF DELIA ser me this you notty girl, why didnt you take him ?** "I did — ^that is " began Miss Claire, whin the widder grabbed her hand and looked at the ring. "Aha!" ses she "cort you thin, did'nt I? Now" ses she "whare were your sinses under the sarcurastunses whin you let him go away at wanse — and of all things in the warld wid Una Robbins." **Wid her!" ses Miss Claire. "Yes" "It was an artful move of old S. Judd and her father. My dear, Una is the most rickluss flurt this side of heven. Why its only 3 yeers ago she was ingaged to Harry. They luwed for a moonth and broak the ingagemint a day later. Dont look so hurt. They werent achuUy in love — ^jest playing. Now Una has had her own way with men iwer sinse she wore long drisses. Thin the Wolley family moved out to \ THE DIARY OF DELIA 169 the Poynt. ThiTC was a sartin rood and surly mimber of this crazy family wid a constitooshinul dislike for magnuts and there dortera. Miss Una chose to be intrusted in him, of aU men. To her surprise her advanses were rebuffed. She achully disinded to pursooing him, as you no, and finally in despurashun — as I lamed from her own lips — she sank so low as to insinnyvate to the loonytick that she luved him!" *'0'* ses Miss Claire, *'You meen our Jimmy." "The terrible Jimmy!" ses the wid- der, nodding. "She tM him " "As good as told him." "And he ?" "He! Ye gods in hiven" ses the widdy throwing up her hands, "he cuv- vered up his eers wid his fingys, guv a look of commingled borrow and 170 THE'DIARY OF DELIA dispare, and ran away from her. The follering nite" wint on the widder, "Mr. S. Judd Dudley calleii to see her papa, and the marning after that Miss Una was packed bag and baggage off to Yurope. Now lissen to me words of wisdom and expeerinse. If those S sore yung indivijools dont cum to sum sintimintul oonderstanding on this voy- age out to Yurope thin my name is not Jane Bangs and will niver be Jane WoUey." Miss Claire sed never a word, but she looked at the widder beseechingly. "To begin wid" ses the widder, "Its all your brother John's folt. If he*d proposed to me a month ago I cud have ingineered the hole affare happily for this family. As it is now" ses she, **ye*ve acted like a little fool, and Harry like a big wan. Sakes alive!" ses she, "why didnt you make him stay at home? THE DIARY OF DELIA 171 You had him at the sycological moment" ses she. "Do you suppose I*d have let John Wolley sale away at sooch a time? Not by a long chot Una is sore — ^broosed — hartaick — hurt clane throo and throo. She's desprut. A girl in that condishdn has but one resoarcc — matrimunney — wid anuther fellow. Now Harry." "Oh" ses Miss Claire, "please Mrs. Bangs dont say annything to me about him. I krum he loves me oanly." She cuwered her face wid her hands convoolsively, and me shtopping in me wark in the dining-room lisse fng by the dure, and reddy to bat the ii - 'Jr- f eering widder on the hed wid me dooster. "Now me deer" ses v widaer, "you must counteract at wanse the evil of this long oshun voyuge. You must follow the pair at wanse to Yurope." "I ? O Mrs. Bangs, indade we arent 172 THE DIARY OF DELIA rich people. We cudden't afford it" ses Miss Claire, "and besides, Jimmy may cross in the fall. He's been of- fered the London corryspundint post for the Planut." "He'd better accipt at wanse'* ses the widder promply "as for you " Just thin in walked Mr. John and brort an ind to the paneful interfoo. The widder found hersilf aloan wid the sintimintul gintleman looking at her tin- derly. Her own face is poockered oop wod exaspenashun. "John Wolley!" ses she, "I feel like shaking you." "What have I dun, Jane?" ses he reproatchfuUy. "Why dident you propose to me a month ago?'* ses she crossly. CHAPTER XXVI A WEEK LATER THIS marnin* wen I wint to open the door to tak in the papers a strange site greeted me eyes. "My God!'* ses I aloud, "is it snowing in Orgust" Thin I seen Mr. John. He had wun of me dish pans in his hands and it seemed to be full of holes, fer sumthing white do be scattering from the bottom of it all over the place. I throwed up me hands in horrow. Just thin I seen the widdy, and she likewise had a pan and was scattering the white doost in another place. She guv me a smile: " Good marning Delia ! " ses she, " we're goin' to surprise Mr. Jimmy. We're pooting sumthing on his drives wich will kill all grass and weeds. It's salt," ITS 174 THE DIARY OF DELIA ses she. "My conshunce John Wolley!" she screemed, "what are you doing?" Mr. John was bizzy wid his pan around Miss Claire's floury hidge wich is a sorry enuff looking hidge, being that the weeds and grarss have grown out thick wid only a poor little flour to 1-ike up its hed here and there. Mr. John do be throwing the salt wid a ginerous hand over the sad looking hidge. "Why," ses he, "I'm killing the weeds in poor little Claire's garden." The widdy threw doon her pan and set upon it. "You do beat the dooch!" ses she, "why you gander," ses she, "doant you know ye'U kill the pmrs too. John Wolley, I've harf a mind to shake you and I will too!" ses she. Wid that she roon acrost to him, wid her hands hild out — but bef ure she can tooch him, he IHE DIARY OF DELIA 176 grabbed her aboot the waste, and kissed her plump on the lips. "You retch!" ses she, "and befure Delia too! Oh-h!" ses she, and stamps her foot. Its cleening day. Nobody but a dammed eddiot wud put the desateful looking matting down on dacint flures. The doost and dirt finds a natchell place to settle down betwane the cracks. As I was rubbing it over wid a damp cloth in Mr. Wolley*s stoody he came in wid the male. In wan hand he held a grate boonsh of letters, in the other one ploomp fine looking litter by itsilf. He looks queer. *'Has Mr. James gone to town yet?*' he asks. "No sir" ses I. "Its riting at home he is to-day. He's in his room, sir." "Ah!" ses the auld gintleman, and joost thin Miss Claire cum into the room. m THE DIARY OF DELIA Her cheeks are flooshed and she looks izsited and ankshus. "You have a letter for me papa, havent you ?** ses she. The auld gintleman had throost the fat letter hastily into his pocket. As Miss Claire spoke he now fussed over the boonch in his uther hand. "Let me see" ses he, going over thim, "No — theres nuthing my deer" ses he. She seemed so disappoynted that for a moment she joost stared at the auld gintleman. Then sVe ses gintly: *'Papa, wasnt there an English male in yisterday?" "I belave there was" ses he. She put out her hand impetchussly and ses she: "Let me see, papa?" She wint over the letters wan be wan. She picked out wan little roll, and she ses: THE DIARY OF DELIA 177 "Nothing— nothing at all for me — ixcipt this." Thin she wint out from the room suddintly. The auld gintleman looked after her wid a look fool of compashun and guilt. Then he sneeked out of the room. "You auld divil!" ses I to mesilf, "Its a letter ye've got in your pockit for .Miss Claire, and the puir thing shull have it if I have to turn thafe to get it for her." Wid that I wint after the auld rascal. I hurd the dure of Mr. James*s room shut, and I wint into the bathroom ad- jyning, and wid wan eer to the dure I lissened. "James " ses Mr. Wolley step- ping in. "What the ** began Mr. James and I herd him hopping up in his seet. "I*m bizzy father'* ses he. "I must get out this artuckle at latest by noon 178 THE DIARY OF DELIA to-day" ses he "What is it? Whal Is it?" "James" ses Mr. Wolley, "Fm afrade yure sister " "For hivin's sake father" ses the lad "hoory up. Jest what is it?" There was silinse for a moment, jur- ing which I knowed from instink Mr. Wolley had tuk out Miss Claire's litter and shown it to his son. I prissed up close aginst the dure, but the key was inside and I cud see not a thing. Then I herd Mr. Wolley say: "You see it is as we feered. They are corry " "Hauld on!" ses Mr. James lowering his voyce, and again there followed a sylinse. Suddintly the dure flew open and I fell upon lae face into the room. Mr. James saized me by the neck of me gown and hauled me oop. "Delia!" ses he, "ef I ever catch you THE DIARY OF DELIA m at sich a thrick again, I'll— I'll throw you out of the winder" ses he. "Now git!" ses he, and I sloonk aff in shame. I was ccming down the stares, source looking whare I wint, whin all of a suddint I seen sumthing which sint me hart flying into me mouth. There by the winder was Miss Claire stritched out on the floor. Her face looked orful white, and for a moment the dredful thort cam into me hed that the poor yung thing was ded. I screamed wid frite and agunny. and I joomped doon the rist of the stares and rua to ihe child. The paper was on the floor beside her— a torn peece of noospaper and I seen the pincil marks in blue upon it. The family cam rooshing down whin they herd me scream and at the site of Miss Claire they all seemed about to faynt also. Mrs. WoUey guv a friteful scream, and Mr. John throo his arms aboot her and 180 THE DIABY OF DELIA put her into a chare. Mr. James picked up the bit of paper, turned it over and red: "Mr. and Mrs. Barclay Robbins an- nounces the ingagement of their dorter, Miss Una, to Mr. Harry Judd Dudley, son of S. Judd Dudley of New York. The widding will tak place Choosday the 21st of October." There was silince then, the hole family looking at aich other and then at puir Miss Claire. Then Mr. WoUey spoke, and his auld voyce trimbled. "Boys" ses he, "carry your sister gintly to her room." It were a sorry loonch the family et. Mr. John scurcely opened his mouth wanse to spake, and Mr. James spoke only wanse. He sed camly: "Father" ses he "I've desided to refuse the London corryspondunt job." THE DIABY OF DELIA 181 Mr. Wolley turned feercely upon littie innersint Billy: "BiUy" ses he, **ef you play wid yure salt at the table wanse again" ses he, "I'll tak me razer strap to you." Thin he tuk 2 angry bits at me rolls, SLV'\ stomped oot to the frunt porth. Looking out I seen him scowhng at the Dudley house. Neyther Miss Claire or her mother cum doon to loonch. "Mr. John" ses I whin all had left the table ixcipt him; "Is Miss Claire all rite now ?" He put his fingers into the fingy bowl and wiped them thortfully. "I'm going across the street" ses he, "I belave Jane can make it all rite" ses he, as if spaking to himsilf. I was washing the family dishes in the butler's pantry, when I seen Miss Claire cum saftly doon the stares. She'd got 182 THE DIARY OF DELIA on a little pink drissing gown over her nite dress and her long yillow hare was hanging all aboot her. She seen me looldng at her, but whin I wint forward to spake to her she made a little im- pashunt moshun wid her hand and I stud back. She wint over to the tilly- fone and guv a number: Then I herd her say: "Is this the Planet? Yiss, Well I want the idiotoryell departmint. Hello" ses she, "I want to spake to Mr. AUun — Allun — I sed AUun" ses she gitting exsited, and she spelled the name. She wated a bit, and thin: "Good- morning Mr. Allen" ses f^e, "This is Miss WoUey—Wolley— Claire WoUcy." ses she. "Now lissen — annownce me inga; emint in to-morrow marning's Planut — ^and say that I deny it but its so" ses she beginning to larf hysturicuUy. "Whats that?" ses she, "Oh his name THE DIARY OF DELIA 183 — ^his name you said. Why how silly of me. His name is — er — Stevin Vandy- bilt. Oh thank you" ses 9he. *'/ hope 80 too" ses she. **What8 that? Oh thanks. Yes, yes of coarse hes wan of the Vandybilts. Goodbye." She toorned aboot, an I seen her grarsp hold of the back of a chare. She leaned aginst it, and she begun to shake, and thin she larfed. She larfed so hard and queerly that she fell upon her knees. Then I ran oop to her, and thried to put me arms about her, but she guv me a feerce poosh, and ses she wid her eyes flushing: *'I>ont tooch me! Dont dare put yure hand upon me. Its all yure folt. It was you who brort us the- gither. It was you who — Ah haha- hahaha!" ses she, lafing and crying thegither. The widder cam in wid Mr. John 184 THE DIARY OF DELIA and she nm over to Miss Claire wid her arms spred out. **0 me deer! me deer!" aea she, *'I womed you — told you." But Miss Claire has cum back to her sinses. **Mrs. Bangs'* ses she **I am not in need of inny sympithy. Exeuse me. Good maming" ses she, and wint up the stares and back to her room. We hurd the dure banged tite. The widder burst into teers, and as fur roe, puir loan onhappy crachure that I be I betuk mesilf to me ritthed kitchen and cryed me hart out into me dane starched table ^un. I ihcd the day wud niver ind and whin the Frinch charfer from the Dud- leys came over, its small eers I had for his foine spache. "Museer" ses I "its a hart broken wumman I am, and its small cumfut THE DIABY OF DELIA 185 I*m taking in yer perlite langwige tonitp." "Mumsell Delia" aes he, **belave me on me sacred onor, I adoar you wid me hart and soal. Be mine'* ses he. Mr. Mulvaiiey earning in joost thin, guv a larf at the Frinchman, which made the puir museer furyiss. **Mumsell" ses he, "I be not of the for chune hoonting sort as yere frind there" ses he. "Whats that ye're after saying" ses Larry, at wanse. "Did you spake me name?" ses he. The Frinchman stud his grownd bravely, and droring himsilf prowily up faced Mr. Moolvaney wid a stare. "Jaccuse" ses he, "Museer Mulvaney of wooing the lady wid his eye on her forchune. Jaccuse" — ses he, but Mr. Mulvaney had him by the collar of his coat and mtiseer was setting outside on 186 THE DIARY OF DELIA the Ion befure I cud rise to protist. Whin Mr. Mulvaney cam back I*m that in- sinsed wid his avil manners and the revylashun of his meen and greedy car- acter that I skurcely cud aven look at him. "Mr. Mulvaney" ses I "its a puir hard working girl I am, and its a mistake *ye're making in yure for chune hoonting hail whin ye think I'm after being rich. Ah go!" ses I, "I'm doon wid avery wan of you." And I wint opp to me milincuUy room, me hart sore and aking, for Miss Claire do be hating me feercely now, and Larry Mulvaney is no better than the Frinchman, but is after me puir bit of forchune. Ah wirrah, wirrah, wirrah! lis a sorry day whin me muther bore me. CHAPTER XXVn THE NEXT DAT MISS Claire was down at brekfust brite and airly. I seen her set- ting at her plate — ^waiting for the family to appeer. Her eyes and cheeks wuz unnatshully bnte. Mr. John cam in first. He wint over to her chare and guv her a rell luving kiss. "Go to your sect John" ses she "I*ve sumthing to show you." Wid that she pushes over the paper to him and intercates a place wid her finger. "Claire!" ses he starting oop "My dear girl," ses he, "whot on airth doos this mane." Jist thin Mr. James cum in and Mr. WoUey dose on his heels — ^Mjss Claire 187 188 THE DIARY OF DELIA picked up the paper and parsses it along gayly to Mr. James saying as she diiss so: "It's only the enouncemint of me ingagement" ses she. "The wh>t!" ses Mr. WoUey. Mr. James' face looked iired and haggard and his big eyes have lost there fighting look. He turned them orlmost sadly on his sister. "Claire," ses he, "you're— you're act- ing hastily," ses he. "Not at all," ses she, smiling— over her cup of corfee. "Fve nown Mr. Vandybilt iver since I wuz at Vassa. I niver told any of you aboot it — ^but — but — ^we've practically bin ingaged — ^fer yeers — thet is not formally." The family sed nothing and I wint to ansser the door as the bell wuz nnging furyissly. The widder cum in and wint widout being invited strate to the dining- THE DIARY OF DELIA 189 room. She also has a paper in her hand and widout a word to the rest of the famly she pulled oop a chare and sat doon beside Miss Claire. "Claire** ses she **I had just finished reeding a letter from Una Robbins when- I chanced to glance at me paper. I saw the announcemint. ChUd, whot^ does it meen ? '* "Why," ses Miss Claire smiling brill- yuntly — ^**Exackly whot it ses." The widder luked soospishus and thin she ses wid emfasis: "Well 1*11 not congratulate you. It's a mistake — all rong/* ses she, "Oh deer! oh deer! Oh deer!" She turned suddintly upon Mr. James. "Jimmy/* ses she, "I notissed just now when I minshuned the name of Una Robbins that you winced a bit. Now look here boy** ses she "Una may be ingf .ged to Harry — and she may marry 100 THE DIARY OF DELIA him too — but let me tell you" ses she, "a girl who's ingaged to wan man and rites ten pages about anuther man to a frind is worth invistygating. Take my advice, Jimmy deer," ses she **and go to Londoon town post haste. What are yiss in the site of Miss Claire and all 'jecause I hilped her meet Mr. Harry THE DIARY OF DELIA 197 Doodly — the cruool faithless good-for- nothing villyun" see I. ''You poor crachure," ses she, "and you want me to spake fur you. Why» of coorse I will. I'll go rite over and appeel to Claire's sinse of justiss." Whin I was gitting ondrissed to-nite I herd me dure opening, and I guy a lowd yill, fer I'm in me chinmiy aloan. As Miss Clair cum in, I rooshed into me closet, and I spoak to the child frum behind the harf closed dure. "What is it darlint?" ses I "Its ashamed I am fur you to see me in dis- habeel and me wid twinty bunyuns on me feet and moles on me ligs and arms. What is it swatehart?" "Delia" ses she in the gintlest voyce, "Plase forgive me for my croolty and ingratichude. I've been thortless and oongrateful too" ses she, spaking into the doset, "for aven oonder the sir- II 106 THE DIARY OF DELIA cumstuiues I dont regret— Harry. So you'll itay— won't you Delia?" ses slie. "Stay miss?*' ses I, "Why dariint you cuddent roon me out wid a steem roller." CHAPTEB XXIX ANOTHER DAT IT DO be thray weeks to-day sinse Miss Claire's after announsiiig her ingagemint to Mr. Vandybilt. The family kept silinse upon the subjeck. Its a straynge and sad house its after being now. Both Mr. John and James wint back to there rayspictif places in the city on Siptimber 1st after having spint the intyre summer doing there fine riting at the hoose. Mr. James do be a famiss riter and theres hardly a paper pooblished but has a pichure of himself looking out frum the frunt page, bauld and agrissive looking, for shure the lad do have his back oop aginst the intyre warld. Hes 199 200 THE DIARY OF DELIA joyned the Soshilist and Anykist ordher I'm after reeding in the papers, and its intinded by him (ses wan of the papers, which always nos a person's plans befure there made) to live in the slooms for the rist of his life, devoating himsilf to sittle- mint wark amang the Rooshin Jews. Mr. Wolley's masheen break down aboot a fortnite ago, and the auld gintle- man is like a child widout his favrite toy. He do be wayting ivery day for the new carbureater to arrive, and manewile he spinds all his time fooling aboot wid the mashen that isn't rooning anny longer. Mrs. WoUey has dridful narviss hidakes, injooced so she told me in confydunse as mooch by her wurry over Miss Claire as frum anny uther cause. As for Miss Claire hersilf. Puir child! She do be that quite and shrinking in her ways. Theres skurcely a site I'm getting of the child ixcipt at meal times. THE DIARY OF DELIA «01 Its not warth intering up the milin- cuUy ivints of the sad days, and shure I'll be glad inde'^e whm we move back to town in a few weeks now. There be o troo ' lord her. "But yure ingagoaint to VandylMlt" ses he horsely. "Theres no Mr. Vandybilt" ses ^e, "I — made it up" ses she, and then she stopped spaking and crying too for he's got his anns aboot her and her lips closed oc^ wid his. I toonied away and sdbbed. How long they stud I do not know, but it was a long time whin finally he starts to spake again: 214 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Claire— my darlint!" ses he, and thin again they are silint. Then after awile. "What will we do?" ses she, "we— we cant give aich uther up now." He larfed like a boy. "Give aich uther up" ses he, "Why we belong to aich uther. Now lissen darlint. I havent a cent to me name. Dad has kept me practicuUy pinnyliss lately, but I maniged to borrer enuflF to git back here. I've niver dun a stroke of work in me life, but Fve a good ijji- cashun— I'm yung, strong and willing. I've been offered a job out West wid a stepbruther of me muther's, and we'll go there as soon as I can rayse the munney to take us. Oh my little love" ses he, "I only wish I cud take you away to-nite and kape you wid me allways." "Take me — ^take me Harry" ses she. THE DIARY OF DELIA 915 clinging about his neck, "Let us go tonite." "I wish we cud" ses he, "but look," and he drew her into the lite of me kitchin and toorned out all his pockits and showd her how imty they was. It was then a brillyunt thort cum into the hed of Delia O'Malley. "Mr. Harry" ses I interrupting, "will you be excoosing me for putting a quischun ?" "What is it Delia" ses he kindly. "How mooch is it ye're nading?" ses I. He smiled. "A few hundred only" ses he. "Jest enuff for our imejit ixpinses. Its absurd but I havent a red cent" ses he. "I'll borrer or steel it if I have to" ses he, trying to larf, the puir lad. " Mr. Dudley" ses I, "Will ye be doing a puir loan hardwarking girl a favour?'* 216 THE DIARY OF DELIA "Why certinly" ses he. "What can I do for you ?" "Its siven hundred dollars I*m after having in me stocking. I droo it oot of the bank oanly a day or two ago, fur the dummed welth do be the bane of me existunse. Shure 1*11 niwer know anny pace of mind so long as I*m ritch Mr. Mulvaney do protist that he wishes me munney soonk in hell, and museer is after saying he loves me better than me bagatell. Its tisting the lads Fd be doing, and ef ye'll do me the favour of accipting me bit of munney " "Oh Delia!" ses Miss Claire. "No, no" ses Mr. Harry at wanse, but she pulled down his face, and wis- pered in his eer, and suddintly he toomed and beemed at me. "Very good! Delia" ses he, "guv me the munney." I wint into the china closet and tuk THE DIARY OF DELIA £17 it from me stocking — thin I brort it over to Mr. Harry. He hild on to me hand arfter taking it, and his voyce trimbled a bit. "Yere a foine woman" ses he, "and its a lucky chap who gets you. Your bit of munney" ses he, "will be ten times its size whin it reeches you again." "Now Claire darlint" ses he, and he looks at her wid shining eyes, h-.rs smil- ing back at him, " Will you go wid me — UMiiief" "Give me five minits" ses she, smil- ing saftly, "to get me hat and coat." " Make it 2" ses he, and let her go. He put his watch on the table. Aif ter a sicond: "One minit!" ses he, and woches the stares. "One and a harf" ses he, and joost thin the bastemint dure bel? rung, and I let in both museer and 218 THE DIARY OF DELIA Larry Mulvaney, pushing and ilboing by aich uther. "Two minuts" scs Mr. Harry, and then we herd the dure on top of the bastemint steps open, and Miss Claire cum steeling down, her coat and hat in her hand. "They are all in there rooms" ses she wispering. Then she seen Museer and Larry, both of them wid there mouths and eyes gaping at Mr. Hany. He was smiling quarely and he toomed to museer: "Alfonse!" ses he, "ye've arrived in the nich of time. I want you" ses he "to go back to our place and get riddy the big Pinkard. We'll be over in a sicond." Museer bowed, but he histated a minit. "Well?" ses Mr. Harry, "What are you waiting for?" THE DIARY OF DELIA 210 "Whare is it Museer wishes to go" ses the Frinchman rubbing his hands narvissly thegither, and giving a look at Miss Claire. "To New Rosette" ses Mr. Harry smiling, "I know a parson there" ses he, "will do it in a jiffy. His name's Hammond" ses he, and then suddintly he turned tord me. "And by the way Alforise" ses he, "Puir Delia here will be ixpicting you back airly. Shes lost her little forchune. " "Mon Joor! Sacrey! Dam!" ses Museer and looked at me wid his eyes boolging, then he stamped oot, swaring tarribly in Frinch. Larry guv me wan look, then he begun to wissel, excusing himsilf a moment alter to Miss Claire. Mr. Harry hilped Miss Claire on wid her coat, and buttoned it up snug to her chin. "For" ses he "its cold and m THE DIARY OF DELIA raining, and we have quite a trip to make" sea he. Thin we all started out f rum the house Mr. Dudley almost carrying Miss Claire over the wet Ion and Larry Mulvaney grasping me titely by the arm. We got into the Dudley driveway and cum up bef ure the grate bam. Then we seen museer at the tillyfone. Hes spaking franticully harf in Frinch and harf in English. Mr. Harry putrifyes him wid a look and he drapt the tillyfone and turned sowerly to the big ortermobile, pretinding to start it. Mr. Harry helped Miss Claire into the tonno, thin the Frinchman climed in frunt. Mr. Harry foosed a bit wid the ma- sheenery, then he joomped in beside the Frinchman, and all of a suddint he seesed the wed frum the Frinchman's hands, guv a toot to his horn, and wmt flying out of the bam dure, joost as THE DIARY OF DELIA »1 auld Mr. Dudhy cum rooning fnim the house waving his hands and showting: "Alfonse! Alfonse!*' He cum into the barn farely choking wid rage. The nixt moment he seen Larry and me. "Larry" ses he, and he climbed into the uther masheen, standing there. "Over- take those loony ticks" ses he, "and I'll make you a ritch man." "I will" ses Larry "I kin beet anny Frinchman living." I fownd me way home aloan, Larry the crool harted miscreent wid his avoree- shus hart having obeyed the order of Mr. Dudley. As I cum into me kitchin I fownd the hole Wolley family, wid the ixcipshun of Mrs. Wolley and the babby, waiting for me. "Whare have you been?" shouted Mr. James, and Mr. Wolley guv me a kx>k fit to kill me. m THE DIARY OF DELIA "Theres no yuse attimting to desave us Delia" ses Mr. John quietly, the only cam wan of the boonch, "The Dudley charfer tillyfoned us the facks a minit sense. Now, whares Claire. I presoom" ses he, "they were stopped in time?" "Not by a dummed site sir" ses I, gitting turribly inraged wid the site of the thray strapping men pursooing the puir yung luving harted crachures. "They've got a good start of that de- sateful Larry Mulvaney, and Mr. Harry himsilf has got the wheel." Mr. WoUey let out a larf .of scorn. **Boys" ses he, "me new carbureater arrived yistyday. We'll ovetake that Frinch car in harf an our." Wid that they alt wint for the bam, got out the car and in there exsitemint let me climb in wid them also. Wdl, we wint spinning at a turrible THE DIARY OP DELIA «« speed akmg the atikl BoBton Post Road but never a site did we get erf the Dudley Frinch car. The roads was turrible for the stiddy rains of the larst week do be cutting it up into ditches, and manny a time me hart was in me mouth feering we'd be gomg into the gutter. The nitc was pitch dark and the ilictrick lites Ofver harf the road being out wid the light- ning. As we cam whissing along over a wild and loansum cuntry we herd a straynge sownd, like samewan hollering tot hilp, and then we seen a lite ahed. We roon up beside it and there in the road was anuther masheen. It was so dark we cud not see the gintleman but whin I herd his voyce I guv a start. '*Can you tak me as far as New Rosette" ses he. **rm soaking wet and cold" ses he, "and me danmied man H4 THE DIARY OF DELIA doat understand the meckaneesm s i dir tak f^rst sterna ^hich will arr\ V I -wur s. * By will!" ses Mr. James *'FM the Lcmdon corryspou ' & By t tiffle *c hole family is crowt^ fihriM* V ,ng lokes, and Mr. Dudley is ter issing the bride and bridegroom t» and both he and Mr. WoUey look IS et Ai^d blow there noses hard, but seeii in dboarch it im|^ not be periu. M8 THE DIARY OF DELIA The teers run down me nose, and wan of thim sploshed on Larry's hand, for I seen him look at it a moment. Then he wispered in me eer. "Come, auld girV* ses he, * hop into the little masheen, which is joost around the comer. Maybe" ses he, "we can injuice sum sinsible praste to do us a like favour to-nite." And so we wint sneeking out thegither, wid only the Frinchman to obsarve us, and he wid his mouth gaping open and smiling a bit beside, for Mr. Harry do be arfter giving him the hole of me forehune to act as witniss. "But dont you be arfter wurrying swatehart" ses Larry Mulvaney, "for tho ye*re puir yersilf now darlint, its a ritch man I'll be air long, wid the grand premisses of Mr. Harry." *^Ah, go wan Larry Moolvaney,*' ses I, giving him a squaze of his arm, "it's THE DIARY OF DELIA m oanly a hii of a trick I've been playing you» me wanting to tist yere love fur me, or me wilth — Shture it was oanly a loan I'm arfter making Mr, Harry, and it's hiwy intrust the lad will be arfter paying on me savings," ses I.