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Madam, Having received your Majesty's gracious per- mission to dedicate to you a little narrative ol" the passage of your Majesty's ship the Picpie across the Atlantic, as drawn up by nie, partly during that passage, and finished since, from memory, it becomes my duty to express my gratitude for such gracious permission. Your Majesty's indulgence will secure my narrative being read by the younger part of your subjects, to whom its perusal may pro\ c useful, by showing them how wonderful the interposition of Providence is, on occasions of the most awfully impending danger. ■f ^ 4. . 4 DEDICATION. The humble testimony I am thereby enabled to give of the gallant conduct of the officers, marines, and ship's company of the Pique, will render my short account agreeable to your Ma- jesty ; and I need only add, that I put an entire reliance on your Majesty's goodness to excuse those defects and inaccuracies which my de- termination not to admit of any corrections from any other hand or memory, must render myself alone answerable for, as I have the honour to venture to lay before your Majesty my orighial feelings, such as they were noted down in the moment of our danger, from Your Majesty's ^ ^ \y Faithful Subject, and Devoted Servant, L. Aylmeh. Carlton Hotel, Oct. 2, 183T. ' ¥ " While the hoarse Ocean beats the sounding shore, Dashed f/om the strand the flying waters roar, Flush at the shock, and gathering in a heap, The liquid mountains rise, and overhang the deep. k:\ " But when ' the Almighty' from his throne surveys, And calms at one regard the raging seas, Stretched like a peaceful lake the deep subsides, And the pitched vessel o'er the surface glides/' I? I ill AN,"»WER TO THK FREQUENT CALLS ON ME TO NARRATE THE PARTICULARS OF OUR EVENT- FUL PASSAGE ACROSS THE ATLANTIC. iil Yes, I will write ! and it shall be a sini})U' narrative of our passage across the Atlantic, — not technically described, as a sailor would de- scribe it ; 1 could not attempt that, — no, my ac- count can only be such as the voyage was to n)(^ — a weak, a helpless woman, vvho would have been less than useless in the dreadftil trial, had she not breathed out her prayers to Heaven for mercy: but what human being shall dare to say, that such prayers are worthy to be heard by that high Power who alone rules our destiny r f > ^M 8 Yet, we are pemiittcd to pray : and if God gives me now the power to tell liis goodness to us, my memory ought not to fail me — for how can 1 forget such scenes ? — they need not the aid of tablets ; gratitude should engrave them deeper on our hearts, than the ten-ors of which I shall liave to speak. I can only undertake to recall my own feelings as the events passed ; may they prove useful to others — who may learn by this narration, how good the God of winds and waves is, and tliat even "in his wrath he thinketh on mercy." I speak here to hearts where feeling and religion dwell : to such, there is poetry in the stonn, and love in the refuge which was given us. Who are those to whom I address myself when I write .? First, to many dear to my friendship ; to those who, I know, in following my narrative, will feel with me : there are such in America, in France, in Eng- 1 land ! many wliom I could name, but, thai I should smn to boast of what the heart alone gives to the nanator of facts— the kindest syin))athy. I feel that 1 have possessed this, and I shall again possess it ; I therefore eoni})ly with wishes so often expressed tluii I would let others know what passed in a woman's trend)ling heart during so long a suspense be- tween life and deatli. I cannot so often npeat these events— let them beeome a lasting record. I owe it to the Almighty hand, who so jrra. eiously guided our frail vessel, without a rudder, through the tremendous deep of water: TS' ! mm ':! NARRATIVE. Aftek receiving every demonstration oi' kind regret at our departure from Canada, Mliicl. kind hearts could bestow, we embai'ked on t].e 17thof September, 1835, on board the Piquo frigate, commanded by the Hon. Captain Kous, and sailed for England, from Quebec, which for five years had been our hon.e. There is a feeling in leaving those whom you look on, probably, for the last time, whicli admits of more than seriousness, and which, not all the gratifying proofs of respect (hovA ever the heart may answer to them) can lessen. The 12 only thanks T could give were tears : and they were with difficulty restrained and concealed. Of Lord Aylmer I say nothing ; with a con- science free from offence, he ended his govern- ment of Canada; and left, of course, some friends behind, who will not forget him. Wind and weather befriended us on our passage down the beautiful St. Lawrence, and across its often-to-be-dreaded gulf. It was decided about three o'clock on the fourth day of our voyage, (the 21st,) that we should pass through the Straits of Belleisle : Captain Rous had very good reasons for this decision, and I only mention my feelings on seeing a cloud coming after us, (as I may term it,) because they were very remarkable at the time: an officer, who was then walking on the deck, said, '* Yes, that cloud is one which will en- velope us in a thick fog very soon." We went below to dine, and not long after, the fog 13 enclosed us as in a veil ; it brou.^lit with it a i'earful destiny—for, owing to the darkness which it spread around, was our striking on the rocks that night, off the coast of Labrador. Captain Rous had on every previous evening played whist, with the other gentlemen of our party, but, on this eventful evening, he had remained on deck, and till ten o'clock I had taken his place at the card-table. I had been seriously unwell before our leaving Canada, and as the usual noises on board the best-regulated ship are always sufficient to dis- turb an indifferent sleeper, I had not enjoyed one good night's rest since embarking ; and excus- ing myself from remaining longer up, was determined to take advantage of some aiTange- ments which had been kindly made to ensure me a calm and quiet night, and was just com- posing myself to sleep, when the tremendous crash occasioned by the ship striking forcibly - 1 14 against the rocks instantly roused me : as the ship was going her smooth and even course, eight knots an hour, with scarcely any motion, the shock was the more alarming. I jumped up, and rushed into the cabin I had left: my maid, who was undressing In the cabin next to mine, huiTied in, and throwing herself on her knees beside me, tried immediately to comfort me, thereby bringing my scattered senses under control. Lord Aylmer had rushed on deck to discover, if possible, the extent of our danger; it was of a pitchy darkness, and none could judge where we had struck. One of tlie lieute- nants came into the cabin, and tried to re- assure those he found there, by saying the ship would soon be off; and with this attempt at inspiring hopes — which probably were felt by veiy few on board — he left us, to attend to his anxious duties. All the male part of those on board were soon engaged in what seemed to . lo be the first object, namely, to lighten the ship, by throwing the ginis overboard — all were soon employed in obeying the orders which our ca])tain gave, in that manly and distinct way, which probably was the chief cause of that admirable discipline, which was never for on(; moment during our more immediate danger, or afterwards, relaxed : and I have pleasure in giving my humble testimony, here, to the con- duct of these brave men, during that night of awfiil trial. When they came to obey the orders they had received to go into the various cabins to examine the state of the ship, they never passed me — when they had occasion to distiurb me from the only quiet comer, where I was seated on a chair awaiting our destiny — ^without the ceremony and civility they would have used under ha])pier circum- stances. I remembered it then, and such con- duct strikes me more, now I reflect on it. How ui 16 often I envied these men their activity and occupation : all was bustle and effort, but not confusion; the exertion necessary towards throwing over the guns, and the necessity for using the pumps, occupied all hands. Anxiously did we, who sat in the cabin, await the smallest glimmering of daybreak. Alas ! it seemed awfully long in coming ; and yet, as T look back, the eleven hours and a half so spent seem short. After coming a little to our senses, myself and my maid dressed our- selves, so as to be ready for any attempt which it might be thought best to make to reach the shore, should daylight present any such chance of escape for us — we tlien employed ourselves and our men-servants, in putting together such things as might be usefiil, if land- ing was accomplished. I have before said that all the gentlemen were working at the guns^— the grand object being to get them overboard, . 17 to ease the ship — vvliile we females foiiiul relief in the oeeupatioiis of such preparations as my state of nerves would permit uui to tliink over, by getting together articles of clothing likely to be most required on the inhospitable coast on which our fate might throw us ; and a variety of articles of utility, which I tried to think over, such as candles, coffee, a tinder-box, a coffee-boiler, our bedding, ready tied up, and a small trunk or two, of the warmest clothing; forbidding the servants to think of saving trinkets or jewels, and to keep their attention fixed on necessaries for ourselves and them : in such preparations I found the certain relief of occupation, and between the interval of a few seconds of the horrid striking of tlie ship — which never failed to inspire fresh terror — we were calm, and generally alone ; — I mean myself, my maid, the steward and his boy, and now and then Lord Aylmer, or one of the offi- ' ill i S't ■ ii :ii' !)': 18 cers, who as well as himself, I need not say, on all occasions did their ntinost to su])j)ort and encourage hope of final release from our awful po- sition : though we often heard lamentations from the lips of the midshipmen and other officers — not for tlieir own fate, hut that the beautiful Pique should " lay her hones" on the rocky coast of Labrador. How curious, at such a moment of danger, was the unselfishness of such a regret ! The fate of the Pique occupied those whose too certain destruction would have fol- lowed hers. There was something very fine and sailor-like in this ; and it had its effect on us at the time. As I am writing in the desultory way which such an uimsual detail fi*om a female pen may excuse, I shall just remark on what struck me at intervals during the night. With that instinct which all believe to be pre-eminent in dogs, the one belonging to Captain Doyle was ' 19 very uneasy that night; he had attached him- self to me — probably, as being the most con- sidered in the way of comfort, and as I was not permitted to go into our own cabin — as it was feared the ship might strike harder there — I sought relief .by stretching myself on the mattress laid on the floor of Captain Doyle's cabin, where his favourite bull-dog terrier shared this convenience with me, which kept him more quiet. His master complained of fatigue, from hard labour at the guns, and no wonder; for, as he had the key of the only box among Lord Aylmer's luggage, containing money, he had the precaution, immediately on striking, to tie round his waist, after partially dressing himself, two bags of sovereigns and dollars containing d£lOO each, and with this weight about his limbs did the poor man uncomplainingly work away at the throwing over the guns. I entreated him to lay aside ili ■ I? 90 i' ill ir I liis burden, and promised that the (h)g and 1 would guanl the treasure. My brave attendant was planning her arrangements for my conve- nience on landing, and though I sighed when 1 answered her — yet, I could not find in my heart to discourage the buoyancy of spirits, which could make pleasure in anticipations which promised so little less than despair. She arranged wdth any of the young officers who came to give and receive comfort, a hundred plans for our bivouac on shore —and in such attempts at encouraging each other we banished unavailing complaints. When, at last, day-break came, tliis young woman added her entreaty to Lord Aylmer's that I would just go and look at the shore, by way of comforting and re-assuring me. I can only remember how dreadfully it had a contrary eflect on me — and for once my imagination had fallen short of the reality ; for I own I saw I )i ■ SI no liappy prospect of a landing? when my eve r(!sted on tlie irrej^nlar and rocky coast so near to us, where the sea was beating against it — and I turned from it, and retreated in more liopelessness than I luid allowed myself before to entertain. Whether it seems to creep or fly, time ])asses; and our daybreak soon became daylight ; and I now look back with regret, that I did not see the sun rise on that beautiful morning, on that coast which my eyes shall never look on more : but I was below, and by orders confined to our dining cabin, and the one next to it. There was one fearful circumstance which I now call to mind, as I look back on these events: fear- ful, because it seemed unnatural ; — it is this : — each time that the ship struck against the rocks, it caused a perpendicular motion of the lamp which hung over the table in the cabin, and which was occasionally nearly extinguished by this up- 2*> '1^*' and-down vibration. I could not support this l)iitioiilly, and the steward's boy was much occupied in gettinjr on th(^ table to stop the motion, till the himp was a},'ain disturbed by the next awful blow, which each time wound- ed the poor Pique's keel. The shi]) being wedged, as 1 may say, in a bed of rocks, she continued nearly in an upright position through- out the night. The Avind was freshening, the pumps constantly going, and increasing alarm pre- vailing, when, preceded by a brilliant aurora borealis, day at length dawned, and our po- sition on the coast of Labrador was ascer- tained. At the usual hoiu* they piped for breakfast. What an inspiring sound was that ! that anything should be going on in its usual course, was of more value to the alanncd feelings, than those who cannot follow our tcnific position can 23 Hg of so t'()ncc'iv(». T know the lu'cossitv for thi'sc poor nu'D having tlu'ir uccustoimMl rcfrcslnncnt ; ihv.y lia: 11 Extract. '' Ovtohcr (>, Tncsthty ervHUHj.— To sit down again at easu is indeed a luxiirv, which none, perhaps, but those who have un- dergone wliat we have, during the hist tt;n days, can duly appreciate." On Sunday, tlie 27th of September— liaving been much ccmfined by weather for some (hiys — 1 was walking on deck with Captain Rous; the weather was fine, the wind fair, and the ship, under a press of canvass, was making lu r way rapidly through the water— the offiecr's dhnier going on — Lord Aylmer below asleep in his cabin, as also was Captain Doyle. Divine service was to be performed at three, and being then half-past two, I proposed remaining on deck, and joining with the other passengers, and with all the ship's company, in thanksgiving to Heaven for our deliverance from the peril we had been in, off the coast of Labrador, on the preceding Tuesday. c 5 ■ & ■ t 84 |: ■ l' t-LJiiii 1 was enjoying tlu; air, and the pleasure of being again on deck, when suddenly Captain llous, on whose arm 1 was leaning, loosened my arm Irom his, and 1 tottered back to the gun eaiTiage on which 1 had been sitting ; the oliicer on watch had whispered something to Captain Rous in i)assing us. I did not hear what he said, but Captain llous innnediutely called out "All hands on deck — shorten sail !" I felt faint, and felt thunder-struck. 1 knew that something serious nuist have happened, though 1 knew not what. One of the lieu- tenants came up, and sat down by me ; he said, " 1 really don't know what has happened. I suppose the captain thinks a squall is coming on," he added, addressing another ; " send ibr Captain Doyle." I looked round; there seemed no appearance of change of weather. All was bustle on deck obeyhig orders. 1 sat still, and as they passed heard one of the sailors say to .*)'. 7f aiiothur, "A sad j(>]» tliis !" Aiiotliur said, " What is to bocoiiR'orus now ?" 'I'lu'.se words soundod awlnl to me then, and I had my anti- cipations that we were sinking, and the leaks past niana},'einent. Captain Doyle had been wakened, and came up to nu; to sn])])ort me down. At last we learnt that the rudder had broken short ott' at the head, and was gone clean away, and we on deck had ne\er re- marked it ; the day we were on the rocks it had been injured, and now it had failed us. Here the ofhcer's journal remarks that " the ship came up riyht to I ha wind; he adds, ''a se- vere trial for the tottering foremast y I only now, as 1 co})y out this in looking back, re- member how quickly Captain Uous caused them to shorten sail, and how instantly he began to steer the ship by the sails. It was vain to seem anything but discouragtid. Wliat was to be done? Mercilul God belriended us. M! m 90 uimI ii fair wind t'liabU'd Captain Rous to steiT l»v the Irinnnini^ of the sails, A tcni- porarv rudder was to hv atti'UipU'd, and day and ni^dit was ('in))loy('d in its labritation. An awful time, while wailinj; for its bein^' put down ! it blew so hard, the ship's leaks had increased, hut 1 know not to what amount, and on the !2Hth the new contrivane<^ f(»r a rudder was shipped in the evening. A hrig had a])- peared in sight, signals of distress were ex- hibited ; whieh I here remark, is done, by lowering the colours and turning them upside- down, I believe: but the cruel brig, whether by accident or design, made all sail, and left the poor Pitiue to her late. Captain lions became at this critical tinu' extremelv luixious to take advantage of any vessel which might api)roach us, (wherever bound,) to get rid of his passengers, and all the useless hands. One of the boats was 1^ 87 lost, lu-in- slovf; Imi | uas al Uiis ti„u' iKHoiaiit „(• tliis untoward accidcnl, as well as of the uxlcni of our dau^rcr, or oi' Cuj)- taiu J{()us\s proposal, that if any opportunity prosontt'd iiscir wc sliould at any risk (piit the l*i(jut'. On the '2ihh another brig was seen and hailed: she approached us; and it uas decided, that if she \V(»uld receiv.; us on I'oard, ourselves and suite, with tlu; lew l)assengers, and useless hands, should seek our safety there. Cai.tain Doyle, the carjien- ler, and two i,.eu, 1 think, went towards her, to nmke the necessary arrangements, should our (luitting the Pique be possible: her condition was beconiing, in Caj)tain Uous's opinion, every niunient more critical ; and as 1 now look back, I can justly understand his anxiety on this point at the time. 1 was very unwilling to make the attempt ; the sea 4'^ il 38 •,.. J was lrt...en(lous, and the gale was ex])ected to increase —our rudder was little to be depend- ed on, and the increase in the leaks, added to the .^tate of the foremast, altogether our situation was, to those who could weigh liie danger, very awful. Here Captain Rous's character rose — he gave all the necessary ordei J preparatory to our quitting him ; })ro- visions were prepared, sheep killed, and a proper quantity of spirits, wine, &c., to send on board the brig; no very easy tusk was before us to accomplish, should it be feasible. I hardl)' knew at the time, and on reflexion since, I hardly knovr, what were the nature of those feelings which made me raiher averse than otherwise to the prospv'^ct of quitting the poor Picjue ; it could not be that sort of aHec- tion, if 1 may so term the predilection, which we often feel towards an inanimate object, and 39 ^^ si which I cp.n readily conceive sailors feel for the ship to which they belong— feelings so useful, i imagine, that they should be respected and encoui-aged, by not moving men who have so much hardship to support, from the local habi- tation which these interesting sympathies ol cm nature makes a home— their home indeed it is, for there they live, and act, and suffer, or enjoy. These are the associations that form home every where— but mine did not bind me to the Pique : yet, as I sat opposite to Captain Rous, while I read in the manly seriousness ol' his countenance iliat he was engaged in writ- ing what he might consider as his last dispatch to the Admiralty— words were few that passed between us. We were alone, excepting indeed one of our servants, who was engaged iu col- lecting such things as we had ordered to he- put up ready for our quitting the Pique to gc on board the French brig ; when I sau :' 1 f <»l. I. y m 1 -x 40 Captain Rous closing this letter, I ventured to address him, — I named some boxes with let- ters, valuables, &c., &c., what 1 wished done with them, should he reach England, which J hoped he would, before us. I added, " Remem- ber, Captain Rous, it is much against my incli- nation thatwe leave you." lie answered, " Vou have no choice left, for 1 would not keep xon here five minutes if I could get rid v.! v-u; besides, you are not aware that we have lost one of our boats, and if it should be necessary to take to them, the fewer we have to fill them the better." The footman who attended me, had offered to remain, could he be useful in work- ing the ship : Captain Rous thanking him for this offer, answered with a decided negative ; and on my naming my determination not to (piit the ship, unless, besides Lord Aylmer's suite, the few other passengers were included, he said, that all this had been contemplated, 41 and provided for by Lord Aylmer and hiniscli. After these few words I rose, and went round to take leave of him ; he then said, " If you reach England before me, you will go and sec my mother." I need not add my reply -J made him some similar request, and then add- ing a few directions about other things, put into his hands a little book, which 1 held in mme— and this most awful conversation ended ! Nothing could have been better devised to re- concile us to leaving the Pique -remaining, was adding to Captain Rous's difficulties and anxiety : his duties, and om-s, were in this case opposite— ours to go,-his, of comse, to re- main. But we were doomed to stay. I had watched, from my cabin window, for the return of the boat : it blew very hard, and the reaching the brig had not been with- out danger to those, who were making the effort. Captain Doyle was nearly drowned in getting I' IF ill J A i !h' ) 1 42 on board. Tlic apiioarance of the little boat, now visible and now lost to sight between the mountain waves, was an intensely interesting object. Lord Aylmer had watched her motions from the deck, and on their return from their un- succecflful mission, requested Captain Doyle and the carpenter to report the cause of the failure J me; fearing that I might be tembly disap- pointed at tlie prospect of escape being at an end. They found those in the cabin waiting the result of their treaty quite reconciled, and even relieved, by the decision. This reception of their mission was a great relief, I doubt not, to all parties, for, had we been building on this hope of going on board a safer vessel, the disap- pointment experienced by the weaker part of the passengers would have added to the anxiety of the braver sex. The carpenter's account of the unsafe and leaky state of the vessel, which proved to be a merchant vessel 43 of about 200 tons, and in the most disgusting state of uncleanliness— having been engaged in the illicit trading for cod-fish off the coast of Labrador— seventeen men on board, crowded, and all inhabiting the only cabin there was,— drinking and smoking, noisy and in-egular in their habits! Imagine what a prospect for females in any position of life : and without the least claim to heroism— for I am a great coward— I may safely aver, that I think of the two evils, the least appeared to me then— as it does now on calmer reflection— to be obliged to the alternative of remaining on board the "Pique," with our brave, and well-conducted crew, rather than to be con- demned to the horror and inconvenience of such an association. The crew on board the French vessel were, besides this, decided against changing their course for any sum iln' Ijl I ,.;,i 44 ofl'ered tlicin; they were bound to Marseilles, and were averse to taking us at all on board. The risk in attempting to board her would have been vcvy gi-eat : we had two soldiers' wives, and three children on board to be saved — and altogether there was little chance, considering the weather, of our ever being put safely on board. So ended this attempt for saving ourselves from the impending danger ; and this was the only attempt ever made for quit- ting the Pique, till our landing at Portsmouth." On the SOth, the temporary rudder, which had proved anything but useful, was cut away : our situation increased in discomfort ; all the officers' cabins constantly wet, and hardly habitable. But no complaints were made, and all was submitted to with good temper and good feeling. Captain Rous spared the men when he could, and when he could not H ! i i:; li 45 '.i'A he seemed to have no cause for comprint —officers, marines, and seamen, did their (hity cheerfully. The 30tli, a heavy gale, and the sliip's head the wrong way ; the leaks increased to thirty inches— and all looked gloomy enough. 1 seldom had any lengthened sleep, and the nights were consequently more horrid than the day. I changed my cabin, and would not be separated from J.ord Ayhner during the long night, but had recourse, after much effort, to the swing-cot, which, from the nervous feeling of being so helplessly far from the ground, I had till then resisted. But the night of the 30th can never be forgotten by me ; though every effort was made by Lord Aylmer and Captain Doyle, aided by the medical gentlemen on board, to calm my agitated nerves, yet T seemed awfully aware of the danger of our position on that fearful f H M 1 1 ■ 1 l^BTW^P^^^B 46 m night ; and I may note down here, from my lew remarks written wliile on board, what these horrors were. On the night of the 30th of September, we had been what was called laid to for the night ; the top-gallant mast taken down, and I believe two more guns thrown over- board — the trysail J a name I can never for- get, set,* — and I was assured we were as snug as if we were at anchor. Alas ! 1 could not be brought to be satis- tied of this assumed fact, and the tremendous dipping of the ship into the tremendous sea, wliile I could hardly preserve myself from being thrown out of the standing cot which I had till then occupied, was not calculated to re-assure me. The timbers of the vessel * Since writing this I have been assured by an officer on board that there was not on that awful night, to use his words, " a stitch of canvass up." I 47 creaking' under the stroke of each hillou-, making a feariul noise, to whicli nothing singly coukl be eoni])are(l. It was like the shrieks of uihl hirds— tlu^ (lying groans of animals—the roaring of the only lion I ever heard roar— and the howling of the only wolf 1 ever heard hov\ 1 ; joined to the cracking kind of noise peculiar to theheavingof a ship in a gale of wind, and whicii is caused by the separating of the boards tenned " bulk-heads :" then the creaking of the masts, the whistling of the wind in the sails, the spray of the foam,— which being thrown with violence over the deck, hisses as it falls: let imagination try to mix all these opposing and terrible sounds,— not any one of a pleasing nature,— and then it may yet fall far short of the tremendous crash of inhar- monious and unnatural noises, which over- powered the senses and irritated the nerves to a frightful degree of suffering. K i 4H . ifi I ■ i:: 1 was (listractt'cl ])v llicsc at llu' time,— and as I look bat'k, ihvy form a very prominent part in the distressing circumstances of our eventful three weeks of danger. On Thursday the 1st of October, the weather was more moderate, but alas ! the shi])'s head the wrong way still, and no chance of reaching England while that v»as the case. The Pakenham rudder was completed, which had night and day occupied the cai*penters — but the sea ran too high to attempt fixing it. A brig was seen, and hailed : she approached, and the wind moderating, at length a hawser (a rope) was sent on board, which broke in an attempt to wear (turn) our ship. The friendly brig proved to be the " Suffrien," of St. Maloes, from Cape Rouge, in the straits of Belleisle, employed also in the cod-fishery carried on by the French to the injury of our connnerce. This may be one reason for the averseness of fll. yir m ■If) those small vessels to apjjroach an Ku^^lisli liigatu; and the SulfHrn, having (lone so, was the more praisewortliy in her. She did her best to aid us. Some think the Piqu(^ wore round at length hy the management of the sails, and by scndhig the whole ship's company to one end of the ship. What joyful acclama- tions when her head was the right way and Cai)tain Rous relieved from the wretched feeling that we were losing ground and had no help for it I During the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, Ith, and oth, the ship was steered by the sails, assisted by cables astern, and we ^\'ere within live hundred miles of the Scilly Islands. At length the effort was to be made, and the Pa- kenham rudder fixed. October 7th.— It is woman's part and l)ortion to suffer, not to act; she therefore requires to be patient in order that she may endure with calmness. Man ! noble man ! =11! ff .")0 ;!'i is bom to rcMsl, and in resistin}^ to ovcrronic : iiclivc, he braves the danger — his first tlioiif^dit is not onlv how to meet it, but to overcome il. Happier h)t, 1 thought, as I sat beK)\v, uitli elasi)ed liands, and painfully attentive ear, listening to the united efforts of every male on board towards the aecomplishment of our vitally important objeet of getting down, and fixing the I'ahenham rudder before even- ing ; for tlie weather was at last fa"ourable, and G(k1 only knew how long it mif 'main so. With that false estimate of human power, which the will is apt to give, I had been told that a few hours would be sutfieient to fix this much-desired rudder. Oh ! how I longed for once to change my sex : how I wished to be bodily, actively employed ! Alas ! it was fearfully painful to sit and listen. I could only pray : my heart alone could bow, my body could not. I was not sufficiently at dl "''f^ «Msr to kiicol. Hill time j)jisst's, howi-vtr lu«avil\ . It took nearly the wliole day to coin- l)l«totlK! placin^r of this ni(Uk'r; the Kitalcsl anxiety i)rcvailca : it was at hist fixed, and pronounced to work well. None but those situated as we were could judg. of how inii)or- tanl a relief the certainty of success proved. 'i'h(; night was more tranquilly passed by all and 1 dare say sleep visited my eyes more lavoural>ly than belbrc. Seldom indeed could 1 be said to have slej)t profoundly during the whole voyage, for I well remember, whenever the watch was changed, 1 was awake to note it, and to hear every word that passed, when the re])ort was made to Captain Itous, whose cot was slung in the only habitable cabin, the dining cabin, next to ours ; his own being, as the others were, under water, whenever the pumps were at work, which was every hour during the day and night. D 2 ^1 u I er suffered fi-om sea-sickness. Colonel Craig has been very unwell, but from other causes, and confined to his cabin, which must be tnily uncomfortable ; and I have not been able to see him, or afford him any consolatit)n for mony days, but he Dears all this suffering very patiently. The chaplain is also indisposed. To proceed, all the carpets, sofas, and elegan- cies, gone ; om* cabins, when the men are at work at the pumps, are generally more or less wet every day, and our meals taken as we best can, holding on. "' 1 only touch on three comparative trifles fn jjaamnt : here, they are hardly thought of, r n i i\ fL' w t ;.■■ ')fi li-l 54 and never discussed, though the officrs and myself do compare notes as to the variety and additional horrors of the noises, which each night seem to increase. It does my heart good to be sitting now, at the dining- table, writing, while the rest are playing whist, laughing, and really joyous. Wind in oin- favour — our rudder succeeding, and three hun- dred and nine miles from Scilly. " Seven knots an hour is as much as Cr.p • tain Rous wishes to go, for fear of wearing the rudder or straining the ship in her pre- sent leaky state ; for several leaks, I understand, have been discovered lately, by our intelligent carpenter, and have been stopped, and 1 am assured that the ship takes in less water than she did. I named thirteen inches, but it was twenty-three. I had been deceived for kind motives. I believe I do not yet know the extent of our danger — but I forbear to ask questions now, for often, what is intended to encoui-age me, sets my imagination at work. " Last Sunday we received the sacrament, in this cabin ; it was a very interesting, and, as you may believe, a very affecting ceremony. None could kneel, but we received it as we could bei-.t contrive to do, and we have an excellent and pious chaplain on board. To day has been delicious repose ; I have pass- ed it in a comparatively hapi)y manner — that is, I could take my salt-water bath, (for the doors couh' be kept closed by hold- ing them.) I could read, write, sit on deck . and after dinner. Lord Aylmer and Captain Doyle came into my little boudoir cabin, which is now comfortable again : and wv sat looking out of the cabin windoA\ , id had a nice chat about Canada— those w c iiad left behind— the present politics there, &c. w (; i:j li w '1 i. 56 All this was enjoyable; it breathed of peace, and calmed the mind: how valuable this, to us poor, forlorn mariners ! Our spirits rise again — for our dear rudder works well, and they have ventured the top-gallant sail up again. If this wind lasts, she may make Portsmouth after all, and be under a month on our passage. Three weeks, this day, since we parted, — and what an awful three weeks '." As I have undertaken to try and remember all that was interesting in our passage across the Atlantic, during our month spent on boai'd the Pique, I ought not to omit mentioning that on one occasion — 1 think it was on the morning of the 21st when the top-gallant yards were to be taken down, and the orders for so doing were issued, but no one particularly named to execute this very hazardous duty, in the then state of the masts : two young aspirants for glory were zealous 57 in voliinteerinjr for this service, and disputed who should go up first. I heard this mention- ed on the day it happened, but I am sorrv to say 1 do not know the names of those youn-; boys ; but time will not make me forgot the action, any more than the danger uhicli called forth qualities so worthy of British seamen. From that day of tranquillity to the l-2th of October, I could never take my pen in my hand; and I must make out my narra- tive of events from what I wrote afterwards, and from memory. On the 8th the wind came from the north- west, and gradually increased to a hunicane : and now I may be said to be describing the most awful part of our extraordinary passage across the Atlantic ; and here 1 must fail. The little day of peaceful calm, which I have described from my journal, was followed by d5 . iii 41 58 tremendous weather ; and I recur again to those notes made when at anchor oil the Casket rocks, where we anchored on the l*2th. " Monday 12th, at anchor off" the isle of Guernsey. Very formidable position ! here, as a resource against worse, we anchored last night. To recount the variety of misfor- tunes which have happened to us, on the one iiand, and the providential escapes on the other, would be an endless task. Such tre- mendous nights since I last noted down any- thing in this curious kind of journal; among our misfortunes, one of the principal chain pumps broke : this was dreadful, at the time, I well remember. — The caqDenters tried to renair the mischief, but in vain : it was then undertaken by the sailors, who with various contrivances of oakum, and other materials, succeeded in making the precious pump do its duty again : another testimony this, to the M ^3 useful kind of practical knowledge to which a sailor's life leads him. During one of tlu; most awful nights, in point of gale, the newly made Pakenham rudder, our only hope, gave way, and broke short off. This wretched event was, 1 confess, expected by me, lor 1 had sat below, and watched the rising of the tiller, and irregularity of the rope's motions, which as they were brought through tlie cabin where we sat, I had full leisure to observe; but I was ridiculed for my fears, and I well remember, when Captam Doyle warned me not to support my feet on the ropes, as 1 was sitting on the ground, which I often did, when the ship rolled so unmer- cifully, I answered in a truly desponding voice, ' They will not long be usefid to us.' The caqjenter came in often, to examine the tiller, and I thought each time his counte- lil GO nance looked more suspicious of all not work- ing well. At last, on his making some obser- vations on the subject of the working of the rudder to Caj)tain Rous, he answered, ' Never mind, don't talk any more about the rudder.' O how unwillingly I went to my swing cot on that night I well remember : I had taken to this as a last resource for getting repose, but in vain ; and 1 may here remark, that such constant sleepless nights added many hours of suffering, when compared with those w4io, wonderful to say, slept profoundly during most of the long nights which I passed in loneliness. To omit bearing testimony to the consola- tions which 1 derived from frequently hearing the most appropriate and beautiful Psalms read to me, would be ingratitude to such divine resource. The happy choice of those so suited to our position was my constant comfort. i'i 61 I never knew half tlicir poetical beauty l)efoic, and I hope I shall not forget them under ha])- pier circumstances.* How truly 1 then esti- mated every thiug human ! What was the world itself to us out of that ship? and if we did not then make our peace with God, could we ever dare hope to make it? How do we know what the suffering of a death-bed may permit us to do? Surely we ought to value the beinjr capable to the last hour, of reflection and Piayer; to a pious and good person, with a self-approving conscience, this in itself is ^1 * Ps. iii. iv. viii. xviii. xix. xxii. xxiii. xxix. xxxix. xlii. xliii. li. Iv. Ivi. Ixix. ,n our deep distress, Ixxvii.; both appropriate, xc. xciii. xcviii.; rejoicing and praise; xciii. par ticularjy suited : xcviii, rejoicing ; ciii. ditto, civ. the most beautiful of all. cvii. particularly suited. cxxiii. cxxx. cxxxvi. and cxxxvili. quite beautiful. i ( -I iii (i'2 comfort ; jiiicl had tlic distracting noises and motion of the ship })ccn less, I eonhl have imagined deatli in many a worse form than that in which it was tlireatening us. And I can look on many hours of my past life, at which I shudder more, as I look back at then), than I do on those whicli I passed on board th(! l*ique. *' It was on the night of the 9th, that the anxiety about the working of the ludder pre- vailed : these fears were justified ; and during that awful night, as the officer on watch passed my cabin, I lay listening anxiously for his approach. Having counted the bells most regularly, I did not fail to hear when the awful event occurred. Our rudder gone ! and there we were again in a heavy gale, and the ship's head come to the westward, and within a hundred miles of the Lizard Point. Fearful this! Again the deception was attempted of (13 II buiiiK I't'ttur oil" witliout a nuldcr ; hut lliih will not answer twice. However, thank (iod, the wind was still I'avourahle, and Captain Rous, prompt and energetic as usual, had again recourse to the sails, and the iUniighty arm directing us, we actually sailed uj) mid channel, llow often, ou that, and every night, were all the anxious heads i)oring over the chart, as it lay extended on the cjuly table, and luider the only lamp in the cabin. It seems that no reliance could be i)laced on the chronometers after the ship had struck on the rocks, but 1 believe 1 have not remai-ked, among our other mercies, that, however foul the weaiher, each day at twelve there had been a gleam, so as to admit of an observation being taken, and I am glad I have thought of this circumstance among the other merciful assistance which was given us. •■ 'i i| 04 i>! "Tlio night of tho lOlh was most anxiously passed l)y all who know the s(. ir,.,,,!,.,,,,.,, ,.^j,,^ u / j^^,!-^,^,^^ ^^^^^.^ snrk- njhisr.Hr ()„ ,ny roqnestit.jr ,,„ oxplana- •i<'", lu" told ims ll.at <„, lla. ship's stores iHin^ •t'lnov.-d afUr she can.c into (l.,ck, it was 'liscoveml, tl.at tl„3 water had i.onciraled the sack «»r l,isc,iits, and by l,ein^r saluraK.l u ith the wet they had swoHen, u.nl posiUvely proved a sufhcieiit security against the Uak ul.ich was discovered to be under lliis st(,re of bread. 1 make no connnents on lliis ad- tlitional proof of mercy, but 1 record it here. liow many other circumstances, trifling in themselves, but full of importance to us, ha^ e 1 not probably omitted, but my tale is al- ready sufhciently h,„g, and I have done ! i 80 CONCLUSION, 4 i ^ «:l ■A As there is, or always ought to be, a moral to be deducecl from every tale, may we not find one in mine ? First, it proves that we never should despair of the Divine assist- ance under any circumstances, for we cannot know what fate God has prepared for us: next, as woman, I may observe, though we seem privileged to be cowards, by the very weakness of our nature, and that our lives may, in fact, be often of less value to the commu- nity at lax'ge than those of the other sex, yet we have to admire, and should be grateful for, that attention and care, which is usually bestowed on us, in order to spare our feelings on all occasions where danger is to be appre- 81 hendud ; and we slioiild therefore look up to those, who are not only our superiors in natural courage, — as indeed nature herself points out the other sex should be,— but who, while they are themselves aware of the extent of the j)eril, and meet every difficulty with prompt and proper exertion, guard their language and their countenances from betray- ing the alarming truth to those whom they would protect and preserve, at the hazard of their own lives. Such moral com'age should meet witli a suitable return, and to the younger part of my readers 1 venture to ]Joint out these things, for I have seen some of my sex inclined to take for granted, and as a matter of course, that they are ahvays to be considered and saved in any danger, at the risk of life itself to the braver sex • this may be true, but then it should not be for- gotten, that such privilege, while it proves to ft i M 11 • ;i| '' 82 woman her natural dependence on man, and marks the distinctive relations between the sexes of protector and protected, — this should also suggest that gratitude should be one of our virtues, and that, next to the Almighty, we are often called upon to be thankful to brave and noble men for our safety and consolation in difficulty or danger. fit 1;' THE END. .|5s LONDON : fRINTED BV IBOTSON AND PALMER. SAVOY STREET. mm