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i\ 
 
 ri 
 
 THE FAL'LOF MAN: 
 
 OR, 
 
 THK LOVES OF THE GORILLAS. 
 
 • A POITLAK .SCIKSrlFIC LECTCRK ITON TUB 
 
 Baiiujinian ^heoim of ^development by Sexual i^election. 
 
 BY A LEARNED GORILLA. 
 
 " Edited by the Author nf 
 "ThK NkW (iOSPKL OK PkACE." 
 
 •\^ 
 
 .TORONTO: 
 THE CANADTAX NEW« AND PUMTJSHINU (;0. 
 
 I671. 
 
 
i 
 
 i I 
 
.-/ 
 
 // 
 
 /^ 
 
 1 \ 
 
 \\ 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN: 
 
 OB, 
 
 THE LOVES OF THE GORILLAS. 
 
 A POPULAR SCIENTIFIC LECTIRB UPON TIIB 
 
 :t?)a»iwiman ^heotj.j of :t?)evelopment by Sexual ^election. 
 
 JiV A LEARNED GORILLA. 
 
 Edited by the Author of 
 
 "The New Gospel of Peace." 
 
 TORONTO: 
 THE CANADIAN NEWS AND PUBLIS 
 
 1871. 
 
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DEDICATION. 
 
 f 
 
 To CHARLES DARWIN, Esq, M.A., F.R.S., etc, etc. 
 Sir : 
 
 To you is dedicated this faithful report of a humble 
 attempt to confirm, explain, and elucidate the wonderful and 
 irrefragable theory of which you are the discoverer and the 
 promulgator. Of which dedication the appropriateness is 
 manifest. What other disposition of the work of your learned 
 kinsman would be so fitting as to lay it at your feet, hind- 
 thumbless although they be ? He follows you feebly and afar 
 But remember that he tells only what he knows, and does not 
 attempt to soar with you to the dizzy heig'-s of speculation, or 
 dive with you into the depths of disbelief .i.ign, sir, to accept 
 this modest tribute to the fiime of one who has done so much 
 to elevate our conception of ourselves and of the great scheme 
 of creation ; and look with the generous eye of exalted genius 
 upon the honest and simple effort of a co-laborer who strives, 
 with you, to convince the world that a Shakespeare may be but 
 an oyster raised to the one-thousandth power, or even a Dar- 
 win the cube root of a ring-tailed monkey. 
 
 The Editor. 
 
V 
 
 4, 
 
 INTEODUCTIOJS^. 
 
 One morning in the spring of the present year I, the editor, 
 or rather the reporter, of the following lecture, found myself in 
 a forest of Western Africa. I was neither searching for the 
 source of anything, nor hoping to meet anybody. But, as I 
 walked on my lonely way, I did soon come upon a man, much 
 be-tattered and bronzed, who was plainly an Anglo-Saxon. 
 He was bathing his feet in a muddy little spring, from which a 
 tiny rill ran out and lost itself in the leafy gloom. As I passed 
 him I turned my head inquiringly, and he looked up and said, 
 " Yes, my name is Livingstone, and this is it. It empties 
 into a duck-pond about a mile off, and that empties into a 
 series of mill-ponds, r^ach a little larger than the other, from 
 the last of which a river runs into Lake Nyanza. This is it ; 
 and so I thought that, as I am rather tired with my tramp, 
 I would b-^the my feet. Throw a chip in here, and it will 
 float past i ;;bes and the Pyramids into the Mediterranean. 
 Just send word to Murchison, please, that I'll be along pre- 
 sently. Good morning." "AH right," I answered; "good 
 morning," and continued my walk, thinking how nice and 
 jolly it was to find Livingstone making a wash-pot of the source 
 of the Nile. 
 
 As I went onward, musing upon the eternal fitness of 
 things, an endless theme, I became aware that there were 
 many monkeys around me, of various kinds, but chiefly gorillas. 
 They were all in motion, not disporting themselves or seeking 
 food, but apparently moving forward, with one consent, in one 
 direction. Some of them were leaping from tree to tree ; 
 others ran along upon the ground. As I went on the numbers 
 mcreased, until at last I found myself surrounded by several 
 
, INTRODUCTION. 
 
 of tlu'ir species. 1 '^^'^^ 'f"''l,' „rmined to see what was the 
 ^^'^'^'"" ''^MhiTmo^v:rnt. I'^otwedhlexan.pleand joined 
 onasH.n of ^^;^ '^;\\S'',bovit an hour, the throng mcreasing 
 the crowd. Atl<-r ^^^"^'"b '' ,„^,,„ .,„ onen u ace in the 
 
 at every step, we ^y^ ';^:^^^ 7Z^cy. Some 
 forest, and there we found a '^^^*^ " ^^'"j .^ched upon the 
 were seated upon the g^^!'"<\ "f.^^^.^^^'n ^eemed animated 
 ^•--•''^•^t:,'r "K:taa"e;,rcttLrnV which in the 
 and expectant \;Y^J"'fi,,t ^^^ understand; although, 
 confusion, I did not^ at j .^ ^ ^^^^.^^ ^^^^^^j 
 
 S;::lli ^;^ J'^lie/lange, and partly ^rtyhe 
 
 gorilla dialect.. ^'-\] ^^?,l^^^^^,'^!lv^^^^^^ 
 njan.;; " mte^st.ng si^ ct lecture,^^ ^^^^^ ^^^, ^^ 
 
 Urn iUigg I lee. l l"'^^"^^^ ';' nnrwinian theory ; and of course 
 on ll-.e monkeyversion of the ^^'Y.'' "1" jnt^' sources of the 
 decided to wait, and bathe ^yJ^^^'J.^n^ places (for, 
 Nile. After the ladies had l^'^en escoritu i attentive 
 
 as Mr. nil ChaiUu has told us, the g^^j^^^^f f J^^.^ ^ large 
 
 to their females), there was ^'l^"!;^ ^'^^^"^J^dle ag^^^^^^ 
 and solemn male gorilla, «omewha ast "^^^^le age 
 
 ?o;;^.nhought and into the English ^^^^^^^ ^^ ^^^ 
 
 ^r'^"f ''"CwirstcS.dhVtrXe of his subject, 
 
 gorilla lecture. N°b^^'';^, '^"^^^^^^^ predecessor and kinsman, 
 and the example of his illustrious Pje" ^ ^^^ 
 
 he has made his amorous ^f.^^^^Jf^' ^^^^^^ made it 
 
 with great delicacy ; and, ""f^^^ \^;.^7;^^'^;he obscurity of a 
 necessary to cloak ^'^y ^^'^^^^'^^^^^^^^ days-these 
 
 l;;:^;;!;^^.^^ rr :;S:^women leam nothing of 
 house-keeping but much of Latin. 
 
 s^V* 
 
LEOjTURE. 
 
 My Hairy Hearers : 
 
 belovTcf ^K^cf '^' T'f' '?,^^^^^In>y than the wilds of our 
 
 creature clfed 'm'' '"-rK'^'^ .^^ ''^ ^^""^^^^ smooth-skinned 
 
 with creeds and h^- • ^"'" ^""''''- '^^ ''"'"^^^ ^^ ^^^^ vexed 
 witn creeds and theories and notions : and the one of these 
 
 which has been longest and most rleenlv root-d in hi- _ :,f '^ 
 
 .anHc I \ } V ^''•"^- ^^^"^ 'i»»drcds of vears, for thou 
 sands, he has beheved that his forefathers lived in a Golden 
 Age, compared with which that in which he now toUs anS 
 
 •. 
 
8 
 
 TrtE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 '»• 
 
 worries is an age of stone or iron ; and he seems to have had 
 a melancholy pleasure in the thought that in that golden age 
 his race was better, happier, and handsomer than it is at 
 present. Of all his fancies, this one has the best foundation, 
 l-or, O my quadrumanous hearers, whether gorillas, chim- 
 panzees ouran-outangs, or simple undistinguished monkeys ! 
 this feeble, helpless creature is akin to us, and is in fact our 
 poor relation. The thought, indeed, is shocking. No re- 
 spectable gorilla, of welNregulated mind, can contemplate it 
 without horror. But the truth must be told sometimes ; aud 
 the time has come when we must confess that man, weak, 
 born without clothes -cruel, cowardly and ungrateful man— is 
 of our family; very remotely, I am happy to say, a kind of 
 ten thousandth cousin, but still a direct descendant of our 
 progenitors. From the Iiigh state of gorilla-hood he has de- 
 scended to that of manhood ; and we are in a measure disgraced 
 by his humiliation. I'his is the fall of man— that he has 
 descended from monkey-hood to humanity. 
 
 The story of his descent in the scale of creation is sad and 
 touching and cannot be heard without deep emotion. What 
 lady gorilla about to bec-onie a mother, or hoping that at some 
 future day she may be about to become a mother— about to 
 become a mother for the Hrst, or second, or I will say even 
 the third time (for I cannot suppose that any well-regulated 
 lady gorilla would ever be about to become a mother for the 
 fourth time)-what lady gorilla, I say, in this interesting con- 
 dition of mind, could contemplate without shuddering the 
 probability that, mstead of presenting the gentleman gorilla of 
 her affections with a pledge of their love that promised to have 
 a hide and a bellow that would rival those of a buf^hlo, teeth 
 Ike pebble^stones, n fmv relrcating forehead, and, above alL 
 that high distmguislung feature of our race, a hind-thumK 
 that IS at once a terror to our foes and the most useful of all 
 our members she would produce a wrinkled, pink-bodied 
 weakling, looking like a inonI<cy--one of the smallest and 
 feeblest of our race- that had been flayed alive, and which, 
 even after reachmg maturity, could live only by covering itself 
 with an artificial skm, an<l i)y making machines with which to 
 get Its food and defend itself against its natural enemies ! The 
 Idea is shocking ; and 1 beg pardon of my lady friends for the 
 
 :'^ 
 
 5-. 
 
to 
 
 w -t 
 
 •^ 
 
 .*f<l 
 
 THE gorilla's FALL. ^ 
 
 tSu n"f' ^ "^^u^^ ?' ^?"^ suggestion. But the story of 
 this fall of man although sad, is interesting, and I shall proved 
 
 ZIa ''' S°"''-''"f °" '^^ indulgence of my hearers • for it t 
 linked and twmed with our own past history ' 
 
 rJ.f ^' ^^^"^ ^^^^^y ^°'^ ^'y o"^^ «f these very miserable 
 
 creatures, who, m the depths of his degradation has vet h.<i 
 the sense to d scover his relationship to^us and the .race to 
 ^'lleTtheDJ' ^es, my well-haired friends, a malTnTmll 
 g led the Dpvin has had the satisfaction of boasting to his 
 fellows of his descent from the quadrumana. Not only so 
 
 fheir "lorv" ^Tl^'f'' ''''' ^^ ^^^P' ^° ^^ ^hameVnd 
 meir glory. nail tell you succmctly and directlv what h^ 
 
 spreads oyer a long and tedious narrative, fuH of as e tions 
 
 and repetitions, and guesses, which he calls inference^ These 
 
 are all needless to us ; for, as he confesses, and we boast we 
 
 .rSefsid"-: '^"^'"^^ ^""^'^^ ^-^ his poor So: 
 
 in weakness and ignorance can on v erasn hv o lr^,,^ j 
 pamful process whi?h .hey call re.3n|?y tlich Z arf 
 often led mto absurdities attainable in no other «av ' 
 
 As you know, the world was made for the gorill- and 
 when he appeared he was in all the glorv of hi, nreseni 
 strength and beauty. He was the last and highe t of Nafurrt 
 productions, the ideal creature of the univefse Tr„„ ^ 
 were others larger and str„„ger-on land an Ita wat lions 
 
 s nrrajy-reros;™ Ti^^T:!^^-^ tr^ 
 
 HT^4ot^:t1e*rt„-•ic?rourS:J,^S^^ 
 
 si;irrrgLrb;t,;Sn*^^^^^^^ 
 
 .f saMife 'nSiM. ts tdirsr- ui'r.riT 
 
 ^Sn'^^fTrnT'r-f'ilir t^'-S", "'= "'^^^'^^ 
 fi;ieuds through the Mt ^^^ fickl^S' orihT^f rifs^ 
 That charming and no less useful half of our race" as S 
 bane and its torment for many centuries To thm 
 the humihatmg fact that gorillas once had taHs and 
 
 been 
 
 we 
 
I ..J , 
 
 lO 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 i 
 
 
 I, 
 
 that some even of our cousins are still afflicted with that 
 ridiculous, although sometimes useful, appendage. I hope 
 that none of those who are present, representing the be-tailed 
 families of our species, will take offence at what I have said. 
 All distinctions founded upon superiority have been done away 
 by the revolutions of late years ; and the last change in the 
 fundamental law of our community, I think it was the fifteenth, 
 made the smallest and longest-tailed monkey in Africa — my 
 equal. 
 
 But to the story of our tail. 
 
 Long ago, so long that the years cannot be numbered 
 upon the all the fingers and toes of all the gorillas and monkeys 
 in Africa, a beautiful young gorilla was courted by several 
 gentlemen gorillas, some in their earliest youth, some nearer 
 maturity, and some at that period of mature middle age which 
 I — ah have — ah had occasion to observe is not without its 
 peculiar charms to the tender and beautiful of her sex. But 
 none of them found favor with her. She seemed averse to 
 
 IP 
 
 } 
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 \ 
 
 a 
 f 
 
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 d 
 b 
 
 fi 
 
GORILLA COURTSHIPS. 
 
 1 1 
 
 -.-i* 
 
 fW 
 
 marriage. They went through all those performances which 
 are at once tributes to beauty, and so allurements to its 
 possessors They danced, they strutted, they howled, they 
 beat their breasts ; they ran up the tallest trees and jumped 
 trom the tops, landing plump heforc her at tlie most unexpected 
 moments, and in the most extraordinary and indescribable 
 positions Jhey stood on their heads and clapped the palms 
 of their hands and the soles of their feet together, howling at 
 the same time so enchantingly that they could be heard for 
 miles around. One of them even applied the thumb of one 
 distended hand to his nose, and the thumb of his other dis- 
 tended hand to the little finger of the former, and so with the 
 thumbs and fingers of his feet, and grinned in the most 
 bewitching manner. But alas, she sat unmoved before all 
 these demonstrations of strength, agility, and affection. To 
 none of them did she seriously incline. True, there remained 
 untried the form of mingled courtshi]) and marriage, a seizure 
 by main force and an elopement, which has been so common, 
 and which IS said to be not without its charms to many of her 
 sex of all races, and in all climes, and which is one of those 
 time-honored institutions, the abrogation of which would seem 
 hke the upheaving of the foundations of society. But her 
 size and strength were so great that none of her suitors 
 .T.7.f .T", ^^''^"I'^thod of courtship; for it was under- 
 stood that she lacked that willingness to be seized which alone 
 gives this method its charm and its success. In fact, she was 
 the Erunhi da of our race, for whom there were Gunthers 
 enough, but no Siegfried. She had let it be understood that if 
 any lover pressed his attentions upon her she would bind his 
 hands and feet together, and, bending down the biggest 
 sapling she could find, tie him to its tops and let it sprinfup 
 with him into the air again. And so she was not moleited, 
 and passed through the woods in maiden-meditation, fancy 
 
 One day she sat upon the sea-shore, lonely and pensive, 
 gazmgupon the water, when suddenly there appeared m the 
 distance an enormous, oval head, with moon-like eyes, followed 
 by many roods of body and tail, that rose and fell like the 
 waves of the ocean. It was the Sea-serpent. She looked at 
 first with wonder, then with curiosity, at last with admiration. 
 
J 2 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 What enormous grace of undulation ! ;jVhat seductive sinu- 
 ositv ' What bewildering unmensity of horizon al extension 
 What' glistening folds of glairy smoothness ! mat a Piquan 
 difference from tlie rectangular jointedness, the half-upngh 
 attitudes, and the hairy roughness of her obtrusive suitors ! As 
 she eazed her heart told her she had found her affinity. But, 
 overSr^e aUhough she was, she w.as also coy. Smitten to her 
 vIrTmidriff with love's dart, she would not, unsought be won, 
 even by the Sea-serpent. Nor would she be guilty of the im- 
 proprS^ of remaining alone with a member of the opposite 
 sex,^ to whom she was not married, or even engaged, and 
 indeed a gentleman who had not been properly introduced She 
 ose with maiden modesty, to walk avvay. But I am bound 
 Jo say that her course did not lead her directly rom the ob ect 
 which she thought it becoming to leave ; rather, it must be 
 confessed, in that oblique line before him, which gave the 
 S opportunity to him\i seeing her, and to . her of casting 
 dances at him, while she produced the impression that, if not 
 Sed, she would very soon be out of sight. As she moved 
 along 'the strand, he gazed, and was f---^^^'. "f °" ^^^^^^ 
 her hairy figure, but by the captivating combination of stride, 
 stumble, and jump, which is the received uiode of FOgres^on 
 of our noble race. The Sea-serpent was enchanted The 
 flame was mutual. Nevertheless, after the manner of his sex 
 he set himself to win what was his already. He went through 
 all his masculine and serpentine performances. He coiled him- 
 self up and stretched himself out. He lashed the sea into 
 foam. He came on shore and tied himself up into true lover s 
 knots before her. He put his tail into his mouth, and rolled 
 along the shore in a vast circle, the symbol of the eternity of 
 his love. It seemed as if the very equator had become en- 
 amored of her charms, and, refusing any longer to belt the 
 Earth revolved within the reach of her superior attractions. 
 FinallV by a super-serpentine effort, he stood straight up on 
 the point of his tail, flapping his fins and hissing out his 
 admiration with a noise like that of the Maelstrom. 1 his 
 accomplished his purpose. When she saw him thus reared 
 un and looking down with such perpendicular enormity of 
 love, from an elevation of some hundred feet, the compliment 
 was more than she could bear. The omnipotence of her 
 
 / 
 
ive smu- 
 tension ! 
 piquant 
 f-upright 
 3rs ! As 
 y. But, 
 m to her 
 
 be won, 
 f the im- 
 opposite 
 led, and 
 :ecl. She 
 m bound 
 lie object 
 
 must be 
 gave the 
 )f casting 
 lat, if not 
 lie moved 
 t only by 
 of stride, 
 •egression 
 ed. The 
 if his sex, 
 t through 
 Diled him- 
 ; sea into 
 rue lover's 
 uid rolled 
 eternity of 
 ;come en- 
 ) belt the 
 ittractions. 
 ght up on 
 ig out his 
 om. This 
 lus reared 
 normity of 
 ompliment 
 nee of her 
 
 THE SERPENT IN EDEN. 
 
 13 
 
 L / 
 
 charms had turned the equator to the pole ; and, satisfied, she 
 yielded. 1 hen he, descending from his height, led her to their 
 nuptial bower, a neighbouring cave, nothing loath, but vet 
 with coy, reluctant amorous delay.* 
 
 PvjThe fruit of these nuptials appeared in due time. As 
 might have been expected, it was a mingling of the traits of 
 the two parents— a gorilla with a tail, which appendage had 
 now been added to one of our race for the first time by the 
 operation of the great principle of sexual selection. At first 
 the tail was looked upon with suspicion, if not aversion. The 
 most respectable matrons of our race scoffed, and sniffed, and 
 turned up their noses at the little stranger. A gorilla with a 
 
 * The iearued lecturer might here have cited, in support of the truth- 
 fullness of this and one or two other passages, Mr. Darwin's much mor. 
 impressive, as well as multitudinous, description of what he calls "the act 
 Of courtship, in chapters xiii. and xriii., passim, of " The Descent of Man 
 and belection in relation to Sex." 
 
||;'/ ' 
 
 =.S k 
 
 14 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 . -1 1 And thev were right ; the serpent had indeed entered 
 
 T S ' TrlthaMv^ f . tr,h? faion, was'ere long con- 
 fashion anQAvnai waa at fallen race grew 
 
 Tekchha^da"! broke thim on the heads of the two lad.es. 
 
 \_ J 
 
 cp^iTK 
 

 entered 
 married 
 :d goril- 
 ssession 
 
 by this 
 Is began 
 ame the 
 jng con- 
 ice grew 
 ptivating 
 
 with it ; 
 re with a 
 )r carried 
 ng taken 
 inch of a 
 cocoa-nut 
 ivo ladies, 
 
 SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, 
 
 15 
 
 doubt and derision were alike abandoned; there went up a 
 
 v^ve in the struggle for existence. After this he could have 
 ma ned every lady gorilla in Africa ; but there was no need of 
 mn dlv to m!r'r"°''/^ gentlemen gorillas with tails came 
 
 deferred ^nl ^ """ "^ ''"^ pretensions to social distinction 
 preferred to remain in a state of widowhood, or even of vestal 
 virginity, rather than accept a lover who was not decorated 
 
 exc^pr:!: old T' ^' '^f '"", ^^-^^^ "° ^^""-^^ -'^hout S; 
 
 tailSsh.X ^ fogies who took great pains to parade thei; 
 tailless backs, stroking their sparse white whiskers, and talking 
 of the good old times, when they were young, and no p oper 
 young lady would have looked at a sea-serpent But they vvere 
 only laughed at for their pains. "^ 
 
 and [he ^T' ^°''''''' '^°''^^ ^^'^ J"'^'^^ °^ their censure, 
 and the sad consequences of Brunhilda's indiscretion A 
 
 KeS a°nd"7n''^ development was then illustrated in our 
 tiapless and fallen race with direful results. The eorilla 
 reaches maturity in a few years, but the Sea-serpent in, I do 
 not know how many. It may be centuries. Science h^s no° 
 decided that interesting question. I am of opinion that "he 
 Sea-serpent IS still growing; for each time he is seen he is 
 larger than he was at his previous appearance. Be this as it 
 may, when the gorilla part of the new species which had thus 
 been forrned, reached maturity, it ceased of course to grow 
 norL.Ti sea-serpentine appendage. That followed its 
 A°Trs Z '^rf'^P^''''' '^"d kept on slowly growing. ' 
 At first this excited no apprehensions of trouble, but even a 
 le pride At last, however, the new species showed verj 
 little gorilla, and a great deal of sea-serpenl, until at last they 
 came to be a tail with a gorilla. The tails grew, and grew 
 
 d"if 7' ""V^. '^''y ^T"^ ""^ ""d"'^ted off inio the^dim 
 distance ; and it seemed at last as if a gorilla might be here 
 
 tre dimg perspective into infinite space. The tails, too, follow- 
 ing their natural instincts, had an irrepressible tend^nc; toward 
 
 ♦ See "The Descent of Man," etc., chapter viii. on " The Laws of In 
 hentance." and "On the Relation of the Period of Deyelo^ment," etc 
 

 i6 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 1 w.\. thpre thev were so remote that they were 
 the water, and while ^'^^^^-.^^.^^^.-r owners. Lobsters clawed 
 entirely beyond the co trd ^^ Jj!'^ ^^^^^j, offensive liberties 
 them sharks snapped t em nd .hale^s^t ^^^^^_^^^ ^ 
 
 ^''\' At tim s tht whole community would be tied up m 
 ment At tmies ne wn .^^ ^ ^^^^,^ ^^^^. 
 
 one ind.stmgiushable k o ik^ ^^^^ ^^ 
 
 box. It was proposed o a t ott the u ^^ i 
 
 clam-shells ; and this was tntd : l^';';^'^^;. ^^^^ j^ .^as the 
 and the gorilla so ^^y ^^ ^^r^^^o^n to the 
 
 tnT^lan was abandoned, as it must need 1 e ,eej. J ^our 
 race would have become extinct. J^^^^ ^ f ^ig tail 
 
 each individual should gradually '^^^uce the lengh o^ ^^^^^ 
 by cutting it off joint by joint. But ^e conm i p ^^ 
 
 V 
 
MMHHNI^ -^'*^'^ai^^ffm.)ffr*!^''***^'* 
 
 MAITERS Iii;c()MK MIXED. 
 
 '7 
 
 icy were 
 ; clawed 
 liberties 
 ;ntangle- 
 :d up in 
 m's bait- 
 flints or 
 ery large 
 was the 
 n to the 
 )eriments 
 
 r; 
 
 .s> 
 
 leen, or our 
 ecided that 
 t of his tail 
 n produced 
 [uite sure of 
 )r disporting 
 
 himself in as lively a manner as was possible in this gloomy state 
 o things he wa hable to feel a joint of his tail cut off b/some 
 other individua half a mile away, or perhaps sitting nex^ him 
 and this might happen two or three times in one day after 1^ 
 
 In ""l bl.TT'^'^',' '^" ^'"'y J"'"*' '^ «^-^ was'the con- 
 tusion. I blush to relate, too, that it destroyed the peace of 
 
 community. lo this condition, my well-haired and tailless 
 qiuidnimanous hearers, our nu-e was'reduced by the wayward 
 fancy and unnatural longing of one female. ^ 
 
 o./;" f ^^/^Pl"''^'^'^ condition of affairs, we were saved by the 
 action of the same great principle of sexual selection to wh ch 
 we owed our degradation. i}y a female came our fall and 
 hrough a female came our salvation. A gorilla maiden of 
 ender years, and whose sea-serpentine appendage was ye^ in 
 US earhest stages of develoi>ment, saw the time approaching 
 when she would be courted and perhaps claimed and taken b? 
 some two-legged termination of an elongated sea-monster 
 
 Inf^^T u ^r' ^ ^^;""«-'"'"^l^''l female, and she determined 
 to free herself, and if possible her race, from the dreadful 
 consequences of the indiscretion of her ancestress. Like tha 
 
 socTetf fnd ' '^"''"if '^' '^'^•^"^'^^ ^^^' ^^i^hdrew from 
 society, and gave herself up to solitary wanderings. I'he pro- 
 blem which she had undertaken to solve was difficult ; for then 
 not only gorillas, but all things living had tails. But when 
 was female ingenuity and perseverance ever baffled in regard 
 to marriage ! In that matter, we of the stronger sex are mere 
 puppets in the female hands. We often think we have om 
 own way, but it is chiefly by allowing us to think so that our 
 To nf/ ^^^™^^\'^^^^' theirs. Chance aided her as chance 
 so often does those who wait and watch with determined 
 purpose. 
 
 One day, as she sat by the borders of a large lagoon, a huge 
 pair of nostrils appeared on the surface of the waters. They 
 wheezed and snorted for a few moments : and then an enor- 
 mous head came forth, garnished with little ears and huge 
 stony teeth. I'he head was followed by a still more enormous 
 body but, oh joy! oh delight, and prospect full of hope! 
 a body to which there was appended the smallest conceivable 
 
 2 
 
THE FALL OF MAN. ^ 
 
 ness might be ho t<i to ^^^^^ ^^^ ^"^^\\''wuy, might not 
 so gigantic a ^o^y^^^^.tion, what caudaU^eav^,^ J^^^^.^^ 
 What termmal ranst ^^ ^^^^.^ ^^ f^.thcr ^^^^^^ 
 
 be looked for ui the 1^;"^ ^ ^^n>P^n'ota"'\\' '' .^j ^ j^r 
 
 was taken on the J^S^^,, „f ,,, des^n 1 --^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ 
 her. But the acco^^^^^^^ ,^,^, 
 
 from easy, ^^^^.l^tie would rmi ^^'^^^^^ ^^ 'L^ed along the 
 she supposed thatjie.^^ ^^ ^ ^ pa he ^^^^^^^ .^^^^ 
 
 surprise he took no thrustmg hi^ • b ^^^^ ^^,^ter 
 
 sedgy margin of the gr i ^ ^ "f„ his way and trod 
 
 the tnud and St rnng vi^^ ^^^^^^ ^^, , '^^^ndulating after 
 were ahke ^f/Sy, mincing steps her tail ^^,„„saous 
 
 the shore wvth damty, ^^^ ^^^^^^^, ^-"^.led a"d gave her a 
 her in gracefuHo^s^ ^.^ ^^ ,^, "^td'ateW again to his 
 
 of her \f'^Z%^^^ncc, but turned "^%^f Spopotamus is 
 lazy look of ^"difteren ' ^^^ ^^,^^^^^ ^J^fna a most without 
 loafmg through the mu .^^^^^^^^g ^ wtthoS sentiment, 
 
 not a Uvely a^^J^f^^° Lved to say, utterly wUho^^a ^^^ 
 
 curiosity, and, 1 am g g^^ eould not seize a ^^^^ 
 
 What was to be done^^ ^^^^ ^ e sc^ he ^^^^ 
 
 out of hand ; or if she ^^^ ^^^ ^!' n.ss body; and carry 
 
 been no nearer ^^'J''^^,^t^\y almost-taiUess bo^V; ^^^ ^ave 
 vast enchanting, and exq ^^ " ng-minded as a 
 
 itoffwithhertohe^^f flesh? For strong ^^^^^^^^.^le 
 been the ^^d|fferent "n .^f^l' efficiency of her 
 
 female may b^, J^nd ^ ^^^^ „ thejth^ J 
 
 decrees of ^^^^^^^ to that of her wiles Our . 
 
 "V:S.rtamess progeny-, „,^„^,, ,„d ™astered U ate 
 
imiiii 
 
 FEMALE WILES. 
 
 eyes was of 
 us. in ^^^5 
 What happi- 
 eature having 
 ly little tail 1 
 ,iy, might not 
 rter resolution 
 
 should marry 
 oved to be tar 
 the water, and 
 her. 'I'o her 
 hed along the 
 uige snout mto 
 
 and the water 
 is way and trod 
 undulating alter 
 ^ed unconscious 
 , and gave her a 
 
 tely again to h s 
 hippopotamus!^^ 
 i almost without 
 tthout sentiment, 
 e and marry him 
 
 she would have 
 ^ble to seize that 
 ss body, and carry 
 ^' her would have 
 trong-minded as a 
 , the unalterable 
 he efficiency of her 
 Our forcastmg anQ 
 have stood guard 
 
 fed and contented 
 I have been thereby 
 ^ Imis a newly-fouT^d 
 
 and mastered it after 
 
 ^fof her sex m such 
 f ?J Her female 
 )lution. n*^^ . , 
 .popotamus might be 
 
 19 
 
 without curiosity, without politeness, and even without a dis- 
 position to gallantry, he < oiild not be male and yet without 
 sexual vanity. As he woul.I not fall in love wi h her she 
 decided to make him believe that she was enamored of him • 
 nnf' '?,';'"S female, she also defermined that, although she set 
 r:ol ' TT'"" ''^ --^I'^'^-^^ti^' '-'^ and yielding to him 
 o h^r 1? ' ''• "' '^"^ ''f-^'"' ^''' ^"difference. She retreated 
 there InTn"" ^'T'""''^ '"^'^ ""•'"« ^"^^'" "" ^'^^' ^'^nk, remained 
 
 s';" out oTight'" "'^'^ "•'" '^' ''''''' "^^^ ^-"i^ -^- -d 
 
 The next day, when he came out upon his haunt she wnv 
 bS^'^alff.'^' '";'' "°^ '^^'^ ''' ''''' ^he watehed him 
 aown tne sedges (a proceeding which she seemed to reLmrd 
 with the ivehest interest), he walked down into the dS^tls^^s 
 he was about disappearing he turned his head, and h last 
 ghmpse of the upper world showed him the young lady lorU a 
 gazmg pensively on his vanishing form. AVn^Mi^she s^a^v £ 
 turn h,s head she smiled within fcrself ; for she aw thit he 
 had put a hook into his nostrils. Again' and again he found 
 her there, always gazing quietly at him ; and eacl dav he 
 Imgered longer at his amphibious disporting ^ 
 
 no^ visible .'''bu?Tnn"^''^l' ■''' ""^ '^''^ ' '' ^'^'' «he was 
 watchTdthe'p^. ; ^"^ealed in a neighboring thicket, she 
 
 Ts uta? and lontn '''k ''"f • ^^^^'' hippopotamus ar'rived 
 n^ her Z ^°°''^,^,["'" her at her accustomed seat. Not see- 
 ing her he came fully out upon the shore and gazed around 
 
 eyL'^He snXd'tl'^'^^S^""!"^' "•^^^"'^'^•-'^ S hisTt?; 
 ZT.u -^ ^^'^ '"'■' ^'"^ ^he wind blew from the shore 
 
 and she remained undiscovered. Deprived of h s aud ence' 
 his performances that day vvere brief and spiritless and h^ 
 soon sought the bottom of the lagoon The nivl Ho ' 1 
 ^h-e. and he trotted directly ^t^e .'^"^t £ot a7d 
 walked shyly away, keeping her^yes softly ben upon him 
 
 tt.H^Pfi T^'"^ ^"'"^•y ' ^^'^ ^' °"^^ ^he fled away i ta p^e 
 that defied pursuit ; for she was much the nimbler tt a can 
 
 tMTh"e coS"'^^'' T"f "^i^ "^^^^ eyesathim:'\serg 
 mat ne could not overtake her. he went hnrlr inf.. ,u '1 ° 
 
 She returned ,o her post of obser^Z' when he be^an *^Y; 
 
 performances which the Darwin says 'the male al^ gSs 
 
N 
 
 '> 
 
 t 
 
 I 
 
 ^g 'inr. I'Ai.i- t'f ^''^^- 
 
 gnashed his tcoth, he rolled over ana mc ^^ ^^^ 
 
 ^ater. in the most -Pt-^'^r^ ^^ ^^, ,"de^ boil like u ,! ,• 
 water and ashed al.cn. n '^ ' ^J^^. ,„,tinu.d her j. n- 
 
 In vain; «1^^' ^'^^ ''"T^ m^^^^^^ her <.he Ikd. and 
 
 sive ua/e; and when he apun a ..roadul her ^ ^^^^^ 
 
 this tin.e actually vamshed "-"- J^j '^^ j^.^ma^ ce' Again she 
 were there a^^a.n, and he '^^'ll^'; ^V ^^ '^^^^ c,f repressed 
 
 was charu.ed, I'^t still unyielding. n trcn / i^^^ ^^^ 
 
 ,,i ,,„tanm-, feehng he aPpro chu her ^.^ ^. 
 
 u'lLl his little.eyes? sK^djcl not k. c^^^^fe^ ^^^^ ^^^^^.^^^_ 
 
 Uvil wuh the rapidity ^^ ^^ ^^^ f^^^ to the greatest, 
 
 scions that he was thus ^tt act ng ^^^ .^^ ^nce, 
 
 although the least ^^^\^^';^^:J ^^^ 1 occurred to hu. that 
 nred and stnnu ated by ^"\^y ' f^, ^. ,' ,, a position and with a 
 if iK- could and ^^^- d -^d^'Ve ^ild be irresistible. He had 
 „v.venKntnioiehke c o^^n n^^^ her hind legs ; and he 
 
 observed that she walked chieny upo> ^^^ ^is. He 
 
 therefore determined to f PP''^;;^ ! .^^.^^^^^ "kh difficulty, and 
 heaved himself upward two o th.et »^^*- ^^^^^^/.f His 
 
 ^r'"" ""^"rut aVbst h a"tuun:d hiS end, Ld approached 
 clumsy race, l.ut at f ^^ "*'.'; j-,^ ^.f i^er own graceful gait. 
 her, walking in a ponderous "^^l^ation o .^,, ^ ^ |,i,to- 
 
 U was an awful and overpmvermg ^^^^J^^ od.bon, 
 rian of the fallen race ot l^;l'^?'"v°^,Ve bent his hippopotamic 
 did not have a mere trying f^fjl^^" ^^ ^^.^^ .^as obliged to 
 figure, and knelt before his beloved o^^' ^^^ -^ ^„i ^vith a 
 
 call her servants to help hun uy J"^^,^^"^ ..i^ded by 
 pcaloflauglaer^;bu^ourpcmde.u.s no^^^ ^^^ , 
 
 seeing on the f:ice of his cn^-^ ■ almost incredible, 
 
 smile. It roused him to an txeruo ^^ ^ 
 
 Inllamed with love, and his van ty tickled toj^ p 
 
 he did what the Darwin 7^^,^ Xaffirst^he soon launched 
 he danced. Moving slowly ^nd sUffly -it ^^rs features, 
 
 into a break-down that was a ^^^^ ^^^ .\^^^,^^^ J^' .e" thundered 
 ^Vithjaws mde open, and no^tnl^^^^^^^^^^^^ 
 ahont the shore, flmgn g ^^^ /"^J^^^^^^i, ^,^^ legs stuck deep 
 a.v; gigantic ^^^^"^^^ "1^ ^^ °d imerrupted his performance 
 ^ :^ ^ l^rT«S r^'dJ^w It out 4h a suddenness and 
 
 ii 
 
THK HIIM'OPOTAMUS IN I.oVK. 
 
 31 
 
 Dwcd and 
 nuul and 
 to deeper 
 like a pot. 
 1 her p«>n- 
 
 iltd, and 
 
 t (la\ both 
 
 Again she 
 
 repressed 
 
 could he 
 ;d his tiny 
 
 all uneon- 
 le greatest, 
 U at once, 
 to him that 
 and \\ith a 
 i. He had 
 gs ; and he 
 n his. He 
 Rculty, and 
 [hers of his 
 approached 
 ;raceful gait, 
 great histo- 
 led (nbbon, 
 ippopotamic 
 , obliged to 
 only with a 
 rewarded by 
 ■><^ delighted 
 t, incredible, 
 int of frenzy, 
 
 their loves, 
 jon launched 
 ig creatures, 
 le thundered 
 1 with frantic 
 gs stuck deep 
 performance, 
 ddenness and 
 
 force that made a report that startled all the birds within a 
 mile, and phmged again into his amorous .salutation. It was 
 the most tremendous /><n sail ever execiiled. At last he 
 stopped, i)anting; and, plumping down upon his knees, joined 
 his fore-paws m .supplication. Of course our ancestress then 
 yielded— so the Durwin says that no female can resist a dancing 
 lover—and in due time she was rewarded by the aia.carance of 
 a httle gorilla with a tail .so small as to be hardly visible. 
 
 The event stirred our conuminity far more than if die bantling 
 had been born without a head, 'i'he mothers nf newlv born 
 gorillas, with the old-fashioned tail, undertook ;. first to' decry 
 the peculiar feature of the new-comer. Hut this effort, although 
 natural, was in vain ; and ..i brief, the little tail . .nv, like the 
 great tail in eorlier ages, became; the fashion, an. carried ail 
 before it. The hippopotamus, although, I am son v to .say he 
 was already married, and the father of a family, was persuaded 
 by other lady gorillas to illustrate the great priiuipK of sexual 
 selection. Many other hippopotamuses were led astray, to the 
 
 V 
 
 u 
 
22 
 
 TIIK TALL OF MAN. 
 
 S 
 
 I 
 
 I ! 
 
 great disturlxance of thf connubial depths of the lakes and 
 rivers of that region ; and the result was that in the course of a 
 generation or two the great tails had disappeared, and the 
 story of their origin came to be regarded as an old wive's fable. 
 
 For a very considerable time — I will not undertake to say 
 how many hundred thousand years ; and in such matters a 
 hundred thousand years or so is'a mere trifle — gorillas had little 
 tails : now they have none. It has been supposed by a pre- 
 decessor of the Darwin that these tails were worn off by being 
 sat down upon, and so gradually disappeared at once from the 
 face of the earth and the back of the gorilla. I am not pre- 
 pared to say, at this stage of the inquiry into the theory of 
 development, that such an abatementof our caudal appendages 
 were not possible. Hut 1 deal here with facts, not with fan- 
 cies ; and, in flict, such was not the manner of their disappear- 
 ance ; for, indeed, the tails were so very small, and tucked 
 themselves away so very closely and comfortably when we 
 sat down, that the friction necessary to their abatement was 
 never eftectually established. It happened through another 
 manifestadon of the principle of sexual selecdon, and in this 
 wisfe. 
 
 A lady gorilla — a young matron, who was generally believed 
 to have her husband very well in hand, partly from his devotion 
 to her, but chiefly through her selfish indifference to him, and 
 who found herself for the second time in that interesting situa- 
 tion which gives every female who considers herself a lady the 
 right to insist upon tlic gratificadon of her slightest whim and 
 most fanciful caprice— took a notion that she must eat the soft 
 parts of a very tender young crocodile. She thought that the 
 high musky flavor of such a tit-bit would be of great benefit to 
 her; and, indeed, she threatened that if it were not forthcoming 
 she would surely produce, not a gorilla, but a crocodfle, or, at 
 the very least, a gorilla with scales and a long, thick tail. Her 
 husband was a great fisherman, and she sent him out to catch 
 for her the much-desired tlainty. He fished all day with fisher- 
 man's luc:k. He liud inany exciting nibbles, and some very 
 promising bites, but no baby crocodile. The shades of night 
 were falling fast, and he found that his bate was all gone. He 
 dreaded the scene that would ensue upon his appearance with- 
 
 1* 
 
iiii»riim I 
 
 lakes and 
 course of a 
 d, and the 
 /ive's fable. 
 
 alee to say 
 1 matters a 
 as had little 
 i by a pre- 
 ff by being 
 :e from the 
 m not pre- 
 i theory of 
 appendages 
 )t with fan- 
 r disappear- 
 and tucked 
 ' when we 
 .tement was 
 igh another 
 and in this 
 
 lly believed 
 lis devotion 
 to him, and 
 ssting situa- 
 f a lady the 
 t whim and 
 eat the soft 
 ;ht that the 
 It benefit to 
 forthcoming 
 )dile, or, at 
 c tail. Her 
 lut to catch 
 ■ with fisher- 
 [ some very 
 des of night 
 gone. He 
 trance with- 
 
 EVERV FISHERMAN HIS OWN BAIT. 23 
 
 out the Object Of his lady's longings. What should he do? 
 m his desperation a bright thought occurred to him There 
 
 un'heardT b "/ .h'^ "^^ ''^ ^^"^^ '^'^^^' ^"^ '^^ -ethod wi: 
 to snbm;? ; 1 ^^^ ^'"^'•S^^^y ^vas great, and he was willing 
 
 ZherT """'^ ^"y f"""'^'^^' ^^^" that of mutilation, 
 
 rather than appear empty-handed before the mistress of his 
 affections and his household. He cut off his tail, put it on h s 
 
 last cast, comforting himself as much as he could with the con- 
 
 ciousness that, at least, he could come before his longing lady 
 
 saying, ''I have done what I could," and being able to how 
 
 Zrfvu-^'V^'^\ To his delight and surprL, it proved I 
 very killing bait. An infant crocodile, that had just then gone 
 out, in defiance of her mother's command.s, whi had warned 
 Sowrt^t^'^ f^t.1' ^^"^'^•''' ''^''' '^'^ this one sink sbwly 
 Shrthouir'.h r^^.^''"^^ 'T'""^^' ^^^^^S^ the twiHt water^ 
 bhe thought that she would eat one only this once iust to 
 see how u tasted, and would never do so again. Sh^ iprlng 
 at t and was instantly drawn screaming tnd wriggling ou? 
 of the water, and the gorilla took her home triumphantly to 
 his expectant spouse, telling her of his sacrifice. Her whirS 
 had changed ; and the odor that she had so longed for filled 
 cosVh ?h?if "fv'^^V'^ consciousness that t'he thbg LI 
 heart if Zf^t ' 'f ^''','' ^ ''^''^ ^" ^^^at she called her 
 heart If not to her palate, and she managed to eat a morsel. 
 
 wJ. h"7 /■* V^""'"'"' of the disobedient crocodile child 
 were displayed in her cave, and she told to her gossips the 
 
I i 
 
 I i . 
 
 «4 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 story of the tribute to her charms. She was filled with exulta- 
 tion, and they were stung with envy. She took airs upon her- 
 self. She was a wife for whom her husband would stop at no 
 sacrifice, not even that of the appendage to his seat of honor. 
 This could not be borne. The other ladies felt humiliated; 
 and soon several of them were seized with a longing like to 
 hers for a baby crocodile, to be captured in the same manner. 
 One entrapped, or caught with any other bait, would not 
 answer the purpose. Why prolong the recital ? The husbands 
 yielded ; the bait still proved taking ; and the pride of the 
 ladies was fed, if not their appetites. Soon it became an 
 understood thing that any gorilla who was worthy the i.ame of 
 husband and father would sacrifice his tail to provide newly- 
 born crocodiles for his wife ; and ere long there v/as not a mas- 
 culine tail to be seen in the community. The natural conse- 
 quences ensued, as the Darwin has explained ; and then by 
 the operation of the laws of development and of sexual selec- 
 tion, the gorilla became again a tailless animal. 
 
 Through these vicissitudes, my esteemed quadrumanous 
 hearers, our race has passed in consequence of the weakness 
 and the caprice of that lovely and enchanting sex whose errors 
 we are always so ready to forgive, in consideration of their 
 charms. [Here it was observed that the female gorillas bridled 
 and cast side glances at the males, and chattered in low tones 
 to each other. A few of the ugliest broke out into applause, 
 which was quickly frowned down by the leading matrons, and 
 laughed at by the beauties of the younger sort.] And now let 
 me warn my young female friends against that curse of their 
 sex, the temptation to make low marriages and to form disre- 
 putable connections with extravagant and wheedling strangers. 
 There is no surer way to destroy their peace of mind and to 
 ruin their prospects in life. [Here a hum of approval was 
 heard from the matrons, at which the younger belles giggled, 
 tossed their heads, and turned up their noses. One of them, 
 a pert minx, evidently a gorilla girl of the period, had the 
 audacity to call out, " 1 say, old buffer, how about that hip- 
 popotamus ?" But the lecturer did not reply, and went on 
 with his subject.] This failing is not peculiar to the females 
 of our noble race. The Darwin tells us that it is found in the 
 
Utt^ 
 
 MAKING LOW MARRIAGES. 
 
 25 
 
 dog family. But what might not he looked for in the habits of 
 such low people, who go about continually on all fours, without 
 raismg themselves occasionally as wc do on their posterior 
 extremities; who have no thumbs on their hind feet, and who 
 have tails, and not only have them, but wag them, with delight 
 m their possession. The Darwin says that the females of the 
 dog family (he gives them a name, i am sorry to say, which 
 would bring a blush to the cheek of innocence, and which 
 therefore I shrink from uttering, and so I use another term that 
 means the same thing)— well, he tells us that the lady-dogs 
 "are not always prudent in their loves, but are apt to fling 
 themselves away on curs of low degree. If reared with a com- 
 panion of vulgar appearance " [here the lecturer drew himself 
 up, passed one hand through his hair, and with the other stroked 
 his whiskers], " there often springs up between the pair a 
 devotion which no time can afterward subdue. The passion, 
 for such it really is, becomes of a more than romantic endu- 
 rance."* Could there be a more effectual warning against the 
 dangers of propinquity and the folly of what simpletons call 
 disinterested affection ! 
 
 Let me further illustrate this topic by the story of a beautiful 
 lady-dog, the elegant and high-bred Kaloolah. Worthy to 
 bear the name of that lovely and renowned princess, our 
 Kaloolah lived in a country far beyond the (ireat Waters, 
 bhe was the daintiest and most delicate of her sex. Born of 
 the famous Blakkantan tribe, her coat was of jetty brilliancy, 
 soft and fine, and edged with the dark saffron border which is 
 the mark of the highest flimilies of her race. Not one white 
 hair marred the jetty perfection of Iut exterior, to betrav the 
 indiscretion of any of her ancestresses. Her body had the 
 slenderness of a greyhound's, and her pretty pointed paws 
 tapped the responsive ground lightly as she ran. After she 
 had attained nubile years she was sought by many males of 
 her own race ; but her fastidiousness caused her to reject them 
 all, and the care of those under whose protection she h.ad been 
 placed so seconded and su])ported her in her resolution, that 
 it seemed as if she would pass her life in the sweet serenity of 
 
 *Tho Descent of Man. Chapter xvii. 
 
 ''W 
 
11 
 
 !i 
 
 26 
 
 THR FALL OF MAN. 
 
 virgin solitude. [Here some slight hissing and giggling was 
 heard from the younger females, and a groan came up from an 
 ancient one, who was said to have very unfavorable opinions 
 of the taste of the whole male sex.] But, alas ! she was one 
 day removed to a rural district in the hill-country where her 
 protectors made their dwelling. At that place was a dog, a 
 ■coarse, vulgar creature, rude, shaggy, unkempt, grisly, uncouth, 
 a kind of slave of the soil, who had been bought with the acres, 
 and who was never allowed to come within the house, hardly 
 near it, but was driven to find a fitting harborage in the stables 
 and out-buildings. Yet after a period — will it be believed ? — 
 such is the influence of propinquity, the beautiful Kaloolah cast 
 aside that maidenly reserve and fastidious exclusiveness by 
 which she had hitherto been distinguished, and shocked her 
 protectors by forming a tm'salliance with the Bear ; for so the 
 low brute was fitly called. The conseijuence duly appeared in 
 the form of a miserable mongrel, a grisly, gaunt, lean-bodied, 
 huge-pawed, awkward creature, without either the high-bred 
 elegance of its mother or the rugged strength of its father, a 
 shame to both its parents, an offence to the household, and a 
 living witness of the dreadful consequences of a practical dis- 
 regard of the great principle of sexual selection. 
 
 No other modification or development of our race has taken 
 place in the direct line, than those of which I have told you. 
 None other was necessary. We at last returned to, and have 
 since maintained, that perfection of beauty in face and form 
 which makes the gorilla the paragon of animals, and which 
 causes the few specimens of our effete cousin, man, who venture 
 within our haunts to come without their females, being natur- 
 ally unwilling to expose the partners of their beds and their 
 bosoms to the temptation of our superior attractions. [Here 
 the lecturer glanced aside at a knot of females in his audience, 
 and tried to look modest, but failed.] Even the Darwin, who 
 boasts of his descent from our noble race, would shrink from 
 such a test of his principle of sexual selection. We, 1 confess, 
 are not proud and should have no objection to such visitors, a 
 generosity of feeling which he himself has had the grace to 
 acknowledge.* 
 
 *See the pa.ssage in Latin in Chapter i. of "The Descent of Man." 
 
 ""^, 
 
THE BEGINNING OF THE END. 
 
 27 
 
 One overture was made to a female of our race which, if it 
 had been accei)ted, might have resulted in a very great and 
 striking modification of our traits. The incident has a direct 
 connection with the subject of my lecture ; for it was through 
 this female, and partly in consequence of this affair, that our 
 family tree divided into two great branches, and one of them 
 degenerated into Man. It so happened, by one of those 
 deplorable freaks of nature from which no race, however noble, 
 is entirely free, that a male gorilla was born deformed. In his 
 infancy, he was almost without hair, and the great thumb upon 
 the hinder extremities, to which chiefly we owe our proud dis- 
 tinction of being a four-handed race, was a puny thing, useless 
 except for walking ; and, in fact, of no more value than the big 
 toe of some of the inferior animals. As he grew up, a sparse 
 coat of soft hair did appear upon his body ; but the deformed 
 thumb of course never develoi)ed or changed ; it only grew in 
 proportion to his growth, and remained a miserable toe. Yet, 
 will it be believed ? certain of our young females, with the 
 unaccountable caprice of their sex, showed a hankering after 
 this young fellow. 'I'hey found him, in their own phrase "so 
 interesting!" "He was so different," they said, "from the old 
 humdrum style of gorilla gentlemen." They called him elegant. 
 Gorilla girls of the period, who might have commanded the 
 devoted service of individuals of the opposite sex much more 
 worthy of their attention, in fact, of— of individuals of mature 
 age, and distinguished position, well-haired, and with gigantic 
 hind thumbs— [Here the lecturer was observed to rub his coat 
 well up, and to gradually advance one of his hind feet on the 
 stump on which he was standing]— giddy creatures who might 
 have won the flivor of such persons who abounded then, and 
 who are — in fact— I may say— who are — sometimes— to be 
 found even now, actually preferred the society of this effeminate, 
 this more than effeminate creature. And yet, in the interests 
 of science, I must tell the exact truth ; according to tradition, 
 he was not quite a weakling. He was nimble and strong, but 
 it was in a different way from that of the other males of his 
 race. In his singularity was his charm. He was also lazy, 
 listless, and indifferent. He took no notice of the fairer sex, 
 even of those who were most devoted to him, and most open 
 m their admiration. He might have lived without lifting a 
 
'i Ml 
 
 
 28 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 finger ; for they delighted in nothing so much as in serving 
 him. Making of the pecuUarity that was the very occasion of 
 their admiration an excuse for him and for themselves, they 
 said, "Poor fellow ! how can he be expected to get his living 
 with that soft coat, and with no hind thumbs?" And so they 
 ministered to him, each one hoping that she miglit be the one 
 whom he found essential to his happiness. He was often seen 
 stretched upon the grass, or lolling against a tree, with half a 
 score of these infotuated young creatures grouped around him, 
 waiting upon him, bringing him cocoanuts, endeavoring to win 
 from him some special acknowledgment of thankfulness — some 
 mark of preference. 
 
 In vain did other males approach these besotted damsels. 
 In vain did they howl, and spring from tree to tree 1 In vain 
 did they even dance with an extravagance — a frenzy of strength 
 and agility which had never before been known in the annals 
 of gorilla courtship, and which could be surpassed only by few 
 of the many similar .scenes described by the Darwin. It was 
 all as nothing compared with the listless langour of the soft- 
 coated, and hind-thumbless fellow. 
 
 But, in like manner, vain was the devotion of these silly 
 young creatures. No one of them found favor in his eyes. 
 At last he sent sorrow and despair into their souls by telling 
 them in secret, one by one, that although she Mas very good, 
 and although to have cocoanuts, and fruit, and water brought 
 to him by such a nice waiter-girl was \'ery i)leasant, and he was 
 very much obliged, he thought it only fair, under the circum- 
 stances, and considering her obvious expectations, to say that 
 he was not a marrying gorilla. In fact, he never could be fond 
 of such roughly-haired creatures as even she-gorillas were ; and 
 that, until he found one whose coat was even softer and slighter 
 than his own, he should remain a bachelor. They heard his 
 avowal in silent grief, each one saying in her heart that his 
 conditions were cruelly difficult to comply with : in fact, as she 
 turned the matter over in her mind — quite im-pos-si-ble. 
 And each one silently resolved that she would admit the 
 addresses of no other gentleman gorilla, let him dance before 
 her never so furiously ; but all her life would remain the virgin 
 
DISAPPOINTMENT IN LOVE, 
 
 29 
 
 Widow of her living love. Such, the Darwin tells, has been the 
 determination of the females of other races, dogs, guinea-hens, 
 etc.'^ 
 
 Among this interesting— J must say interesting, although 
 intatuated— grou]) of gorilla girls was one who took this deter- 
 mination more seriously to heart than the others did. She 
 gave herself up to loneliness and melancholy musings. She 
 left the delights of caves and woods and the companionship 
 they bring, and wandered forth upon the plains, level and 
 lonely, rockless, treeless, and dismal with sunlight. Her 
 thought, day and night, was, " How can I rid myself of this 
 disgusting coat of coarse hair ? and if I could do so, should I 
 find favor in his eyes ?" 
 
 As she was one day near the edge of the great desert, musing 
 on her ever-present theme, she became gradually conscious 
 that she was not alone ; then that a tall personage was in her 
 presence ; and then that a great exhibition of fuss and feathers 
 ■was going on before her. It was an ostrich, one of the largest 
 and most distinguished of his race. He had seen her frequently 
 come to this place, so unfrequented by her people, and walk 
 about it with slow and pensive air. What was her motive ? 
 What could it be but one > Was not he there ? There was 
 nothing else there but the sand and the sunlight , and yet she 
 came almost daily. He drew the same conclusion that the 
 hippopotamus did, but without equal reason or good fortune. 
 Under the circumstances, however, and misled as he was, what 
 could he do but make himself agreeable to the lady, and pay 
 some attention to her ? No he-creature with a spark of mascu- 
 line spirit in him could do less. So he began to strut up and 
 down before her, and to expand his wings and his tail. He ran 
 violently about. He lifted up his voice and squawked. He ate 
 sand, and, burrowing in it with his huge bill and finding the 
 hoof and leg-bone of a horse that had died many years before 
 
 *Seo " The Descent of Man, etc.," chapter xiv., passim ; where, however, 
 the reader wiU find recorded multitudinous instanoes of fickleness, faith- 
 lessness, and forgetfulnoss on the part of "widows;" unfeminine forward- 
 ness, and even of downright " seduction" on the part of matrons and even 
 of maidens of the bird family. 
 
 /" 
 
 % 
 
3° 
 
 THK FAI,r, OF MAN. 
 
 w 
 
 in the desert, he brought it triumphantly, and, laying it down 
 at her feet, ate it up before her eyes. Could anything be more 
 agreeable— any attention more flattering to the female heart ? 
 What, then, must have been her gratification when after a few 
 moments she saw him again eat up one just like it ? Deeming 
 himself (luite irresistible after this last performance, he fluttered 
 directly toward her. 'I'he family of man has its stories and 
 traditions, all of which have some foundation in fact, but are 
 much magnified or perverted or misunderstood. This story of 
 their ancestors they tell, transferring the heroine to their own 
 race, and making him a male swan called Jupiter, and her a 
 kind of female man called Leda. According to man, the swan 
 was received with open arms ; but the gorilla girl fled from the 
 ostrich. His intentions, I have no doubt, were strictly honor- 
 able ; while in the man story I regret to say the Jupiter's were 
 not ; but they were none the less unwelcome to her. Mistaking 
 her flight for the coquetry of her sex, he pursued ; and although 
 love for another and consequent aversion to him lent her wings 
 he had real wings, as well as long legs, and by the use of both' 
 he was gaining on the object of his pursuit, when not far off 
 she saw the object of her afll-ctions. She sped toward him and 
 flung herself panting into his arms. He held her there for a 
 moment, and then moved, partly by gratitude for her many 
 services, and partly by the feeling that, although he did not 
 want her himself, yet, as she had thought of him, no one else 
 should have her, he laid her lightly down, and with a club 
 made such a vigorous attack upon the ostrich that the latter 
 soon turned and fled back to his sand, his hen, and his horse- 
 hoofs.* 
 
 I' 
 
 M 
 
 Tliejearnod lecturer horo gives but a feeble imitation of a passage 
 upon "the courtship of birds, cited in " The Descent of Man," &c., chapter 
 XIV., of which, widely circulated as that popular work is, I need here 
 reproduce only the concluding part, if, indeed, even in the interests of 
 scienoe, I could venture to give more : 
 
 — "elle refuse constimment ses' caresses ; les avanees emprcssoos, les 
 agaceries, los tournoiements, les tondres roncoulemonts, rien no pent lui 
 plairemlemouvoir; gonflee, boudouse, blottio dans un coin do sa prison, 
 elle n en sort que pour boir et manger, on pour repousser aveo une espece 
 ae rago des caresses devenus trop pressantes." 
 
JUPITKR ANn LKDA. 
 
 31 
 
 Whether this incident in the history of our species is to be 
 altogether deplored, I do not feel competent to decide. True 
 the perfection of the gorilla form and the purity of its traits 
 were preserved We remained at the head of the animal crea- 
 tion, unequalled m our combination of beauty and strength • 
 but might we not by this proffered alliance have been elevated ? 
 Might we not have hoped to add to all our other superiority 
 he beauty and the power of wings? Might we not have 
 become as the angels— nay, very angels ourselves ? Might not 
 we, instead of poor, feeble, ])usiIlanimous man, have furnished 
 the traits which were to be sublimed into the forms of arch- 
 angels and ministering spirits ? Might not we have become 
 seraphs and our children cherubs ? Man has his Raplmel, as 
 he has his Darwin, whose imagination framed from things 
 actual things impossible— winged men and pin-feathered man- 
 children— creatures never known on Karth or in Heaven. But 
 the Darwin himself is my authority for telling you that, if our 
 
 I 
 
 P 
 
$2 
 
 THK KAJ.I, OK MAN. 
 
 i 
 
 kinswoman had yielded to her winged suitor tlio Ru.hnp! 
 would iuuc only n- .,.dc<i to paint gorilla ,.o^ nu-tr ' ,' k J 
 
 that would have been made in his works if fe.nale caprice hi 1 
 nut prevented th.s apph.:ation of the princ-iple c.f se a seir- 
 tion ! Ih.s, however, was not to be; and that it wa not s 
 oc of those myster.ous dispensations at which we nu> wc de 
 but tcj which we are taught that we niust thankfully sul)n"i ' 
 Ihis attair, strange to say, had a din-ct influence nth, 
 development of that singular and enfecb d va i"; o or 
 species known as Man. Our kinswoman was more set by 
 than ever I)e ore in her aversion to all other suitors and n he 
 devotion to the one object of her love. The momentarv clasn 
 of his arms and his defence of her against another sJilorno^t 
 only bound her to him more stroimlv than b.-fnr.^ l>,, 
 to have developed in her a strange' Lu.t ^ ^^"^ 
 known belore in any ot our species, and which has never 
 appeared in any other in the drect lin^. Her Xry wander 
 np were now more limited in extent than they were before 
 
 kept hS'wkhm TT'% "7 ''^'^'^^'^ "f '•- ^' - 
 kept her within the hne of sand which she sometimes an 
 
 preached but never passed again. Yet she continuec^To mus^e 
 
 alone, and constantly upon the one theme, her strong Sck 
 
 coat of hair, now become odious to her, and how it migl tte 
 
 softened and diminished. Pining away in her despaif she 
 
the Raphael 
 s. Tliink of 
 truthfulness, 
 cii|jricc had 
 icxual sclec- 
 t was not, is 
 uist wonder, 
 7 submit. 
 ?nre in the 
 iety of our 
 3re set by it 
 , and in her 
 mtary clasp 
 ;r suitor not 
 , but seems 
 never was 
 has never 
 iry wander- 
 -^ere before 
 the desert 
 etimes ap- 
 -'d to muse 
 ong, thick 
 t might be 
 ;spair, she 
 
 ^J^J 
 
 A NEW DEPILATORY. 
 
 33 
 
 leaned one day agamst a tree, and remained there for a long 
 tmie wrapped m sad reverie. Coming to herself again, .she 
 was about to continue her walk, when she found that she could 
 not move away. Her arm, from the shoulder to the elbow, 
 stuck tast to the tree. It was a gum-tree, and she had not 
 seen that a broad stream of thick, half dried gum was on that 
 part of the trunk against which she leaned. The hair on the 
 outside of her arm had bt n imbedded in the gum, which, 
 drymg as she leaned, held ,ier fast, a i)risoner. She looked 
 about for help. None was near, not even that cold and cruel 
 gorilla who had told her that he could not love her. Notiiing 
 was left but to tear herself away by main strength. Summon- 
 mg all her fortitude and her force, she threw herself forward 
 and fell upon the ground with a scream that might have been 
 heard afar oft", for she had torn out by the roots every hair 
 that had touched the tree. 
 
 For many days she suffered in her loneliness ; but her pain 
 passed gradually away. But then came the depressing thought 
 that she must now be more repulsive than before, a mutilated 
 creature, with a bare patch on one arm, from the shoulder to 
 the elbow. At first this was worse to bear than the pain of the 
 mjury ; but ere long she was lead from despair to hope by a 
 strange way of thinking which man calls reason, which I have 
 mentioned before, and which I am happy to say is unknown 
 to gorillas ; and the consecjuence of which, in this case, will 
 cause you all to sympathize with me in my felicitations. ' The 
 thought that if the object of her love longed for a female with 
 a coat softer and finer and sparser than his o\m, he might, a<> 
 she said, therefore (but who of us can tell what therefore 
 means ?), possibly like one better yet who had no hairy coat at 
 all. And she thought, too, that as she had deprived herself by 
 accident of a small part of her coat, she might (using again the 
 unmeaning word) therefore get rid of the whole of it intention- 
 ally by the same means. " At least," she said, " I shall be in 
 no worse condition than I am now, as far as he is concerned 
 and what do I care for the others ? And if I die, there is but 
 one gone that cares little to remain.'' She went to the tree. 
 The gum had flowed again ; and in like manner, and with like 
 pain as before, she bared her lower arm of hair. Thus she 
 ■went on, week after week, as she could endure the torment 
 
 'i 
 
34 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 ^\t 
 
 I 
 
 i 
 
 ^i;i 
 
 wtic'iiiir'™" '" "'•■''■ """'• """' '' '"'' "" "^^ '>"«' "" 
 
 her I .? r V '""•' f ■"; ■'''•■"*■ "■'""" »'"-■ ^'-'f^rcl sl,„„ d c" 
 sliu.MucI at the tliuu-ht or his talchi,,,- her half in'X „„ -^ 
 a.sortofgraml llcslily ileshahillo. h-,.rt,,nc r -ore I ,.1' iJT 
 
 ."-ms, that she ,„i,.|,. regain all the li el^s a d ,t ™c^ 
 
 , V ^ ; ^ '^^ ''^■^'' tceling that not hinc more wns tn 
 
 "■" ; l'"l hardly had she taken afew steps when she heshatert 
 n« lo her " Sh^^h'adT' T^' °''"™" '^ "x a Idingr; f; 
 
 \V ith that change in her mind that made her sav " therefore " 
 a,>,lii,:ti„g appreh^liSn -firs?, fcs.' r"to„W iL'^h """«'■ 
 
l.OVE TRIUMPHANT. 
 
 35 
 
 He stood and looked at her, and she saw that there was no 
 recognition in his eyes; hut there was something else that 
 repaid her for that loss—admiration ; and presently he and her 
 heart began to dance together, lie, tin- la/y, listless fellow of 
 former days, leajjed and curvetted like a young antelope. He 
 bounded his full height into the air. he roared with th.it enchant- 
 ing roar of his, he beat his breast, he ran up the top of an 
 enormous tree, and came near killing her by flinging himself 
 down so close to her that had she not swayed lightly aside, 
 he would have dashed her to pieces. Hut never was a female 
 before in so precious a peril ; and as he stood before her, pant- 
 ing with exertion, she sidled up to him, and, laying her head 
 upon his shoulder, and taking his hands, she led him lightly 
 and tenderly over her soft, smooth limbs and body, that, all 
 unknown to him, had suffered such torment for his delight. 
 After that, as men would say, she was his'n antl he was her'n. 
 This is a kind of language that they call poetical. 
 
 She did not tell him that she was the .same old girl that had 
 made love to him before. That set ret she ke|)t very pro- 
 foundly and deceitfully hidden in her own bosom, until it was 
 brought out by another incident that has a direct bearing upon 
 our subject. She was just about to bring forth the first fruit 
 of their happiness, and he was off gathering the daintiest food 
 that he could find for her, when she thoughtlessly strolled near 
 the edge of the sandy desert, and walked along it, musing to 
 herself and wondering if her child would be as handsome as its 
 father, when suddenly she looked up, and there, at a short dis- 
 tance from her, stood the great ostrich who had before perse- 
 cuted her with his attentions. He darted toward her ; and she 
 fleemg as rapidly toward her cave as her condition would per- 
 mit, was soon met again by the same defender as before, who 
 this time, after a brief contest, slew the ostrich before her eyes. 
 The effect of this shock was that that night her child was born. 
 It was the most remarkable birth in the history of our race ; 
 yet not of our race, for it w.is rsot a gorilla she produced; and 
 here began the new departure. It was a male child which, 
 to look forward a few ye -s, had not the hind thumb of his 
 mother but the toe of his father, and had even less and finer 
 hair than he, and besides (a trait which his mother attributed 
 
3^ Till.; |.AM, „K MAN. 
 
 obliged lo con o , ; . ' '""«» «1 '" l"n,, she was almost 
 hiuAo Ion. ;•,,,,'• '^. ",:'»,''''-• I'"™. Ki'-I who ha,l loved 
 
 i 
 
 had ^LXanUhe' y ,;T;'^^^^ ^^^ --^- 
 
 hind thumb like to '' . ?1 f' i'*^', ^'''''^^^ '-^"^ ^^'^'^""^ '-^ 
 of walking, n a on . V 7 T\ •'''"' ''''''^^''^ ostricli-way 
 success o^lK^ , 1 , ' r'""'^' ^""'"P'^ ^t this charming 
 
 principle ot- SOX uXlin ^ ,'^:^''"f'r'"S ^"^^' of the greater 
 owed her hairless skin ' ^°»*^'««^'d to what artifice she 
 
 more placid and sere ! ' l '^^^'jl-^^'O"!- toward her was 
 
 hearers must have the saine Siau': 'T'^"" ^""^'^ "^X 
 be more or less ea«er ■ ,, Jl..?' ' -, ^ '""'"'^ '""^t always 
 
 quiet. And it any < f' , v tf • ''T ^' ''^''^^ '""''^^ «^ 1<^«« 
 or disturbed by t e u iL ,^ '?''• '^^'^"^ ''^'^^'^ dis.satisfied 
 truth-fHere thee x i^ ^^^'"" "' ^'^'^ -nevitable and eternal 
 
 one roie and sh e , ".T'^l^Zr^'^??^.'''' ■^■""''^'^"^' ^"^^ 
 be sure we are. You're ' , . ,]^'fl'^'''^ ' ^''^^'^tisfied !. To 
 hippopotamuses, and oslri I uV .""n T'"' ^'-'''^-«^n>ents, and 
 just turned the r CTlvhhn^ The males 
 
 gave their attentu.n ^ .^ \ ' f"!'; 1^'^>'"^ «'"'1^'«. ^">J then 
 I say, they have been dis . C 1 T'"'\ ^'^ ">"tinued]-if, 
 tion of this inevi a lie n , r " ' ' '" ' '''" "^'^"i^sta- 
 
 and femal.^ ore n'-. ■ • ''"^' ^" '''"^^'^ the relations of male 
 
 they expect that the n ';.;',;;!!; '■•V"'\^'^''""'/'''^ °"'>' ^^^^^^ '^'^' 
 
 pended for the gru ,' , r 'J' °^ "^^"'"^^ ^^'''^ ^"^ ^us- 
 
 absences, in the st% :' T. "' '^^'^':- , ^^"""g one of his 
 
 Mill noon ot a summer's day, she heard a faint 
 
 i 
 
IIIK NKW FAMILY. 
 
 37 
 
 scream in the distance. But, faint as it was, it seemed unlike 
 those that are sometimes heard in the forest soHtudes, and yet 
 h'ke a sound slie remembered to have heard before, she could 
 not recollect when or where, in the course of a few weeks it 
 was explained, when one day he appeared, accompanied by 
 another smooth skinned gorilla girl, who she saw was cme of 
 those whose love he had before despised, and who was now 
 his wife. To be brief, he had found that of the ten who had 
 devoted themselves to him, and who had vowed to have no 
 other love, only three had yielded to the courtship of his 
 rivals, and the remaining six he persuaded to (pialify them- 
 selves for his admiration, and the nuptials which they had so 
 long and so eagerly coveted. They all illustrated eciually well 
 with his first wife the beautiful principles of development 
 and sexual selection, and soon he was surrounded with a large 
 and growing fiimily ol smooth-skinned, hind-Uiumbless, erectly- 
 walking children, of whom the males chielly said, " therefore," 
 and the females, " 1 am ashamed." 
 
 The ajjpearance of this new family in the gorilla country 
 caused a profound sensation throughout our s[)ecies. The 
 tradition of the sea-serpent allianc:e and its deplorable conse- 
 quences were remembered and discussed. The conservative 
 feeling was fi^ly aroused. A mass meeting, in the nature of a 
 general cotiseil de familh\ was held ; and it was finally decided 
 that, to prevent confusion and the deterioration of the race 
 {for what consequences might not be apprehended from female 
 fancy for smooth-skinned, hind-thumbless lovers, who walked 
 like ostriches ! what wide-spread disaster might not ensue 
 upon the application of the principle of sexual selection under 
 these new circumstances !), that this wo.^' family of non-descript 
 creatures, who, whatever they might be, were certainly not 
 gorillas, shoul 1 be driven from our borders. Whatever might 
 have been th • wishes of the new family in this regard, they 
 (most of them being yet of tender years) could not resist such 
 a determinate m on the part or a whole tribe, and they sub- 
 mitted. Th : world was before them v/here to choose ; and 
 they chose t ) go northward toward the borders of the great 
 sea. Ere long they were seen moving in that direction, the 
 father of the family lounging listlessly in his old way in advance, 
 
 t 
 
 ':-■ 
 
^ 
 
 
 1 
 
 3S 
 
 THE FAr.I, OK MAN. 
 
 ^^^^::^!::!::^^^'^::rr':;'7 -'' ^-^^ ^^ the 
 
 "^'■gration. Thts as Z firsf / • '^"".^ ^'^"^ ^''^'^ ^he first 
 
 and ,)erverted into Ttale which hi n '''°>'' ^''^^ <^"^l^odied 
 Expulsion from Paradise;' '''''''' ^"^ ^^^" ^'-^^'^^ " ^'^^e 
 
 spS::,thS;^^iXSt'd '"-^^^^f^"^ ^' this new 
 produced the lUv i w.s 1^ ' . •'"''',"' ^'"^"''^'"^ ^an and 
 houses, which, as you \J^ k ow n ^^ •" wh,t ^hey call huts or 
 
 cave, very hot andTy Ld Zt '' ^'""^ °^ •'^'"''^"' '"^^^^^^^ 
 men like the Danv^i^'nv i "'' ''^'''"'''t the air. This, 
 
 against. the .^J^™;;^^ dr.::^th:r"Tr^ ^^^^^^^^ ^'^^- 
 
 neccess tv. On th^ ,-^„f ^^atiier. 1 here was no such 
 trivance whici has 'mde !/',.:' '' '''' "^^' "^ ^his con 
 live naturally like is ancestor H '',?'"''" ^^'^''^'^' ""'-^l'^"-^ to 
 go on year iter year and ^^n. r ^°"'^-^' '""^ "'^''ged him to 
 impediment to inSiZl^ , ''^'°" ''^'^er generation, adding 
 that he may u, p ;tSe 'l wllf^'^^^'"^^ ^° incumbrance^ 
 by year, till at la t-th^^^^^^^^^ T^/JP^" hi,n yea; 
 
 one of his species hanniesfwh.i,'^ '''^^^ure ! he deems that 
 occasion o\ carl'Z'Z^e^^^^^^ that is,most 
 
 of the only good (uialitv f nn. f ^^"^ ^^ ^^^t deprived 
 
 it would ife'. r.rc;^"ttyoX^rerni'""^'^^^ 
 
 with you when food bernm.rc ■ ^^ y^"' C'^v<^ around 
 
 to go after the food a^d S^rSn^lo'^r' °'^'""^ ^^^^^^ 
 self-delusion, he now b iWs T nf '^ f "^^^ ' ''^"^' '" his 
 
 material, and fills it o fi^U of a I k ndT f '-'"'^ immovable 
 highest praise of one of Li i. , ?^ ^'"^-^'•''^cks that his 
 
 filled wilh all the i^dern nconw''''^^' "''^""^ '^ ^hat it is 
 in disorder he Im n r-T inconveniences ; and, to keep these 
 
 -horn h "cil s ^aient' rrand""'"^^'^* "' ^'^ ^^^ «P-i^* 
 plumbers. These ^^^"1^^;%;"' '""^^"' '-^"^ 
 family through some operatrofZ . T "^"'"f "'^o his 
 with the bird family ; f^r S are a IH ,°^ f '^"^'' '^'^^tion 
 bills; and of Ihcm ail ] nn/TM .u ''^^^"^ --^'^"-^^^ft^^^^^ 
 once the most d e' dfu nL n "^ ^^^ Ph-mbers s bill is at 
 ^ As I have t"' iMu^^ 
 
 ^r protection agaiLt'cSd^^l^e^i^S^-SSlSS 
 
THK KIRST noUSK. 
 
 39 
 
 The 
 
 Many generations after the first migration a female of the new 
 family was born much lighter in rolor than the original rich black 
 tint of this species ; and when she grew up, she i)reserved this 
 unpleasant peculiarity. Hut, strange to say, she was liked by 
 one of the largest and strongest of her si)ecies, who took her 
 for his third wife, and made much of her. She, observing that 
 things turned black in the sun, took a notion that unless she 
 could be protected against his rays she also would become 
 black, and lose the peculiar charm to which she owed her 
 marriage to so desirable a husband, and his very marked ad- 
 miration and attention ; and yet she could not licar a cave ; 
 it was altogether too damp and gloomy, and, indeed, very 
 unbecoming to the complexion. She therefore insisted with 
 rnuch pouting and sulkiness, including some secret slaps and 
 pinches of the other wives' children, and alternate fits of 
 temper and sickness that turned the family topsy-turvy (the 
 good old gorilla family discipline, ladies, which jjcrmitted the 
 use of a stick not larger than the husband's hind thumb, having 
 sadly deteriorated among these degenerate creatures), that 
 if her husband really loved her and cared anything to preserve 
 the beauty he professed so much Ui admire, he would make 
 something that would protect her skin against the sun. 
 
 After long cogitation he produced a wonderfiil structure. 
 He took three dry saplings, about one half-again taller than, 
 himself, and putting one end of each in the ground, about his' 
 own length a])art, he joined their tops, and upon the outside 
 of these he piled dried twigs and broad leaves, leaving an 
 opening in the front, ^lo this he led his now radiant beauty, 
 and she took jjossession with great glee and greater pride. 
 At first she stayed in it all the time, night and day. She 
 allowed no one else but her husband to enter. The other 
 wives affected great scorn of her and her rubbish-hole, as they 
 called it, which they would not go near or seem to notice ; 
 but if their children came to peep in, she drove them away 
 with blows and sticks and stones. It was her delight to sit 
 just within the doorway, and nod with condescending alTability 
 to the other females who came to see the great curiosity; and 
 they came ftom miles around. 
 
 Her pride, and the airs she took upon herself, set the whole 
 female community agog. She was a wife for whom the 
 
 r" 
 
40 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 ! i 
 
 females on it were too nl^nf' V^ ^^^ ?^'^'' ''^"^ ^^e other 
 course of a few d.ystheTst l^Ll"' '° ^^""^ "P^"" I" ^^^ 
 uncomfortable. ^Ve' P onrr of hT" '" '""^^ ^'^^^ ^^^^ 
 matrons-an exc amatinn Lm I ^ i- .f^^'^^med one of the 
 approval.] She snaTiked h.r .^ was followed by a hum of 
 
 because they were bovs ind Wt\^ r '"^er heart, the boys, 
 girl, because she was^ hts favo^t ^^H !^''7 ^f'^^'"' '-^"^ ^^e 
 She took no notice of her hZT^ f ""^ ^°°''''' ^'"^^ ^^^^^elf 
 silence ["Served him ri2" ' ' ''"i P"'"'^^ ^'"^ '" g^"™ 
 this (mildly contin "d he lee urS'slf^^^'^f "^^^-"'' "^ 
 tact and wisdom of her sex for LT^^ ^''^ proverbial 
 
 that he passed more tinL'tL'nter tth^r^rrf ^^" 
 evenmg, when he had hmuahi- u ^t last, one 
 
 flung if dow„ umaSeJ 3 'em i„ra' S o^' '■™",' *^ 
 She screamed, she chiftprrH Til i u . , °^ convulsion. 
 
 gnashed her teWhranlrngtrtfuu^^^^^ 'Tf^' ^"^ 
 
 and tossing her arms about At fi s t h^ ^^^""d kicking 
 administer to her the remMv v\ f ?^ ^^^^ mclined to 
 children; but, as he 'ealTv W^^^^ ^''"^ ''^PP^'^^ ^« the 
 
 what wa^ the matL^ It Xtt th' r" 1" ""'^'' "^^ ^^^^^^ 
 more screams, more kicking 1. ' « ^^K'"'' ^"^^e^. only 
 At, last, however,'" cam ?<"! ma"tS° h'' """^ f °"' 
 was the matter!" (She was -.^ huT ^^"^ ^^"ipJexion 
 
 "How could he expect Ser not to f ' ^.^^^^^'Je's back.) 
 as she was from the sun? C .^ i't. ^^'' ""Protected 
 matter ? What did Z V ^^'^^ ^'^ ^''''' complexion 
 
 not go to h?s''of er life?'%^,ZmV ''\ ^'^ ^" 
 for her, where she cnnlrl .,V J "^"^"^ ^^''^ ^ hut built 
 
 The coWqLnce ladl%o/alf kT" ^L'^"^' °"^ ^^^^•' 
 hut, in the door^f STe satlT-K ^^' ^''° ^^^^ ^^^ 
 And of this the consequence t^th 7 ^h "°'! '" ''^^ ^i'"- 
 plexion also needed nrnterHnn a ^ '^^''"^ "^^^^^'« "^om- 
 
 hut, and sat with h^r ^T^ %' ^r^etp^tlff '^^ 
 
 ss:rj?=s iSi^!:^:ssr¥ F^'^^^ 
 
 Would a husband of any St no, ' '" ^uts and sniff ? 
 cared anything for his wivSl^Xre' thS^ .tt"^^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 ^ 
 
DEVELOPMENT OF COMPLEXION. 
 
 41 
 
 ^ 
 
 outbreak of complexion fever among all the females. Such 
 a thing as a complexion was never before heard of; but 
 now ever}'- female had one ; and nothing would preserve it, 
 or save her from convulsions, but a hut for its protection. 
 And it was remarkable that the blacker the female the more 
 sensitive she became on this subject, and the more imperatively 
 necessary that she should be provided with shelter. And so, 
 ere long, it came to pass that a hut ceased to be any distinc- 
 tion whatever, and that, when all the females got what they 
 Avanted, the chief value it was to have had in their eyes was 
 entirely gone, and it would only have been a mark of destitution 
 to be without one. The thing having become a necessity, and 
 a matter of course, the males, to save trouble, made huts large 
 enough for all their females; and as time went on they plastered 
 the leaves and twigs with clay. The males passed more and 
 more time with their females in these contrivances, and became 
 themselves, of course, more and more effeminate. And thus 
 it was that this new species of our family became more and 
 more a house-dwelling species. 
 
 It is well known to you that some members of our kindred, 
 although degenerate family, man, live upon the water, and go 
 about upon it in a kind of cave with wings. Such folly is 
 incomprehensible to a thorough-bred and high-toned gorilla, 
 who is eminently conservative, and likes to stand upon a solid 
 foundation ; and how any people who are in the slightest 
 degree connected with us can seek, or endure, a life upon that 
 shifting and cruel element that is the proper habitation of fishes 
 and crocodiles and hippopotamuses, we cannot surmise, or 
 could not, were it not for our newly-acquired knowledge of the 
 v/orking of the principle of sexual selection, that great newly- 
 found key to all the mysteries of life. 
 
 The first sailors were not gorillas, or their puny descendants, 
 but squirrels ; and it was through the squirrel that the sailor 
 clement was transposed into man's nature. It happened many 
 ages ago, at least as many ages as had passed since the occur- 
 rence of the events which I have narrated and explained, that 
 a community of the new species dwelt on the borders of a 
 great lake. In search of food, or other purposes, they often 
 had need to go from one side of the lake to the other, and 
 
42 
 
 li 
 
 jj 
 
 I 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 ^^Z:^:''!^'!ttr ^"""^' ^^-"- ^^ey could 
 way" But one dala flmat virT'/?^ ^^^^^ ^^' "° °ther 
 her youngest child half a ound Vh° T"^ ^''". ^^''^^^ *« ^^^^y 
 or three limes, sa^v a suuZ^f t "'" ?^ ^^^"^ ^g^'" two 
 into the water He had sha, 'd'T^ f 'f SM^'^^e of bark 
 'taking the sides even and tSenH^' bark with his teeth, 
 was about twice the lenrrfh nf f ^o^^ewhat pointed. It 
 nearly the height of thsffn ale 7 '"" •^°f>^' ^"^ ^^at was. 
 the puny thin|s they are in thet' '''"'"■"^^ ''''^ then not 
 
 had launched his bark he .^^ ^^"g^^^'-^te days. When he 
 the middle, and he^.' uddenlv''?v'Vl"''^ ^'"^^^'^ ^^^» in 
 blew gently from thT shorf ' /u'f^^'^ '"'^- ^^^^' ^^^^^ 
 water, and gradually across it he J? "^ ^'"' °"' "P^" the 
 crew, and passenger; and she saw h?'"!,'' "'"''' ^"^'' ^"^der, 
 speck upoi the opposite si ^ .. ^'^PPe^^. a bounding 
 too, had a long, flrbushv tail hf f he wished that she, 
 dreadful tail-period of o ,r L^ ' ^"^ ^^^ traditions of the 
 her family, ind she slu^nk ToTthe"'.?'°", ^^"^^^^^ ^''^ 
 thought that two or three Tar J n?i ^ ^^'°"^^'^- ^^^^n she 
 as the tail, or better ^ palm-leaves would do as well 
 
 doln to^he Irt^lpe^d t'l"" ^"r ^'^\^"^' -^' --"g 
 place upon it she hoS f ^ ^'^'^ ,°^ ^'''^' ^"^ taking her 
 
 more bUly on H.^^^^^^^^^^ The wind Vw 
 
 delighted at^oon findrn/ herself ^ the other, and she was 
 lake. Eut as she went of and L i '"'"^ '?^^ °"^ "P^" the 
 surprised to find tha her bkrk tobbled'?' ^"''^r'^' '^'' ^^^ 
 even from end to end The .1 T ,''^^ ^° ^^^e, and 
 
 alternately to rise up ^"to the he ^'^ ""^ l^'' ^'^^ '^^^^^ 
 centre of the earth S ?, ^^ ^"^ ^^^cend to the 
 
 backward. Ere lon/h^/ ^'-'''''^ ^"^'''''''^ '^^nd pitched 
 
 disgust, and tLseito'fSsgusTS ?T.^?°'^ '''' ^^^ ^^ 
 her stomach. The sensZn w ''^1^ ^'^"^ ^'^' head to 
 
 She felt herself g row g" ee^" j^ou .l"^"""^ T'^ '^"^ awful, 
 though she was, she had no conce n ^l' Tl"^" ' ,""^' ^^"^^^^ 
 appearance. Each hair on her head tl'""'i^''^ f ""''-' '^ her 
 neighbour. She broke in m . ^f ^""""^^ *° shrink from its 
 
 and the palm-leaves Vent ov'rboaTd'N.''"-^';"^^^ ^^'^^^ 
 -ght die; and suddenl/s^e^to^-^, ^^^XZ 
 
 ^ 
 
 f 
 
«r 
 
 f 
 
 THE FIRST SEA SICKNESS. 
 
 4S 
 
 hearty breakfast she had eaten, to set her up for her voyage, 
 was cast out into the treacherous waters — an awful catrstrophe I 
 She gave herself up for lost, and without strength or will to 
 cling to her bark, flung herself along it, and hoped that the 
 end would soon come. It did come, but not as she expected 
 that it would. Being no longer able to keep her balance, she 
 leaned too much on one side, just as a large wave struck the 
 bark upon the other, and she was upset into the water. The 
 shock revived her, and, being not yet very far from land, she 
 was just able to swim back to the shore whence she had 
 started. Creeping up on the bank, she sat a while musing in 
 the sun, and then went meekly home. 
 
 Thinking over her adventure, she compared her performance 
 with that of the squirrel, and came to the conclusion that her 
 race needed the infusion of some new blood to fit them for the 
 struggle for existence on the water-side, and — loathsome thought 
 — upon the water. She threw herself in the way of the squirrel, 
 and, being a fascinating female, soon brought him to that state 
 of mind in which he felt he could not be happy without her, 
 and of course that she could not be happy without him. 
 Indeed, she avowed her admiration for him openly, but told 
 him that his beauty had but one drawback — his tail. She could 
 not endure a gentleman with a tail. This confession cast a 
 gloom upon their intimacy, for his tail was his pride. But she 
 was inexorable, and one day he appeared tailless. After this 
 she had two children, born, like her others, tailless, but, unlike 
 their elders, they showed an early inclination to sail chips in 
 puddles ; and when they were well grown she took them down 
 to the lake-side with her husband. They immediately fashioned 
 a piece of bark, boarded it, set up the palm-leaf sails, and flew 
 across the water, untroubled by any of those dreadful symp- 
 toms from which she had suffered. The head of the family 
 gazed with wonder, which he loudly expressed, that two of his 
 children should perform such an unprecedented feat ; but she 
 sat in silence, musing doubtless upon this new triumph of the 
 great principle of sexual .selection, and thinking of himself as 
 the mother of all them that go down to the sea in ships, and do 
 their business upon the great waters. She had never men- 
 tioned her ifitimacy with the squirrel, and soon afterward 
 picked a quarrel with him and cut his acquaintance as short as 
 he had cut his tail. 
 
 ^ 
 
 ■)t f 
 
44 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 ing'^-™etforI""^;;'H "t' """T" °I """' '""^ thumb, .hink- 
 thf la" ,h; r, ili,' ™ :f S"' PT''^.?0 »■'"' huts for 
 
 rapid^nd it requireTbu a shnr '^'^'I'^'^'l^'' became very 
 some .Jes u A ,„e de;:rctl' ^/^^ (vtSe '"' Ho" 
 mt^ture o. monkey and donkey wLoh^ Teed ,°o. Tell you' °l 
 
 never foui 
 not disap] 
 can move 
 dimini.she 
 man rccoj 
 who ever 
 race, 1 as 
 knows th; 
 and sharl 
 among tl^ 
 morseless 
 Does not 
 a lion in 
 by consec 
 to sleep 1 
 not all th 
 of the pri 
 I cannot 
 gorilla ki 
 merely th 
 
 How r 
 
 not say. 
 of those i 
 more dis 
 front got 
 by their 
 crowd, I 
 two of i 
 minutes 
 disturbin 
 At thi; 
 tlic learn 
 very diffe 
 portly ni 
 with inc 
 kindlier, 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 45 
 
 never found in our branch of the family. The very ears have 
 not disappeared ; for the Darwin himself ssys that some men 
 can move their ears, and that length of the organ has only been 
 dimiiiislied somewhat and turned down at the top. Does not 
 man recognize this, and often call his fellow-mhn an ass? But 
 who ever applied that term to a gorilla ? And was one of our 
 race, I ask, ever designated as Old Hoss ? But every man 
 knows that some of his fellow-men are geese, and vultures, and 
 and sharks, and foxes, and jackals? Are there not pigeons 
 among them ? Yes, 1 )arwin, pigeons whom they pluck re- 
 morselessly. And is n(jt the plucker frequently a jail-bird ? 
 Does not every countryman of the Darwin believe that there is 
 a lion in his breast, the rousing of which would be followed 
 by consequences so dreadful, that of late years he allows him 
 to sleep under the most irritating provocations ? And does 
 not all this bear witness to various and numberless applications 
 of the principle of sexual selection during past ages ? Frankly, 
 I cannot tell. It may be .so, and it may not. The wisest 
 gorilla knows so little that what we call knowledge is often 
 merely the name we give to ignorance. And — 
 
 i 
 
 How much longer the speaker continued in this vein I can- 
 not say. But as the audience began to stir uneasily, and many 
 of those in the back rows went away, and even some of the 
 more distinguished and self-possessed of the females in the 
 front got up, turned their backs on the lecturer, and, followed 
 by th>.ir attendant males, pushed their way out through the 
 crowd, I was sure that the lecture was wtthin a sentence or 
 two of its end, and if those persons had waited but a few 
 minutes they might have avoided slighting the speaker and 
 disturbing their fellow-hearers. 
 
 At this stage of the reading, I, too, left the place suddenly, 
 the learned lecturer still speaking ; but my motive was of a 
 very different kind. During the lecture I noticed a large and 
 portly middle-aged gorilla look at me from time to time, and 
 with increasing fre(iuency. Each time, too, the glance was 
 kindlier, and at last was accompauied by a nod, a beck, or a 
 
 .# 
 
46 
 
 THK FALL OF MAN. 
 
 lem.le tancy, the experiences of the sex related in if 1. fif. ^ 
 o awaken the instinct of imitation n hf fc- nUe 'b ea^t 1 
 thought of Darwin's book, which I ha.l re 1 befo e ^ s fm. V 
 Africa, and I remembered the dreadful tords!^^^^. )'"''S^"!; 
 
 In vain. Glancmg backward as I ran, I sal her Sdilv an 
 
 s'ee°medTn ^"^^^^y^ "^^ding and' beckoning S^vhat 
 seemed to me a bathsome leer. At last she came so near Iha 
 
 my pursue, it would a. l™a;t eZag an^c^^'^Ji't' "u'.'^'jf' = 
 I faced her, she rose, and laying her hands upon he breatt 
 
 ■MMji ih . 
 
 ■WJ iii Wi i miM l llimDMI 
 
CUTTINC; A COUNTRY COUSIN. 
 
 47 
 
 
 bellowed out her admiration. I took steady aim ac;oss my 
 left arm and fired. She sprang into the air, evidently hit, and 
 as she came down I fired again, with like effect, and she fell to 
 the ground. 
 
 I gazed a moment at my prostrate and dying admirer ; and 
 seeing that she was incapable of rising or doing me injury, I 
 approached, with a certain feeling of pity and remorse, to look 
 at her closely. And then I found that my terror, although 
 justified, was entirely misplaced. I had mistaken the sex of 
 my pursuer : my enamored female was a male — an enraged 
 male, of course, and I was saved, not from marriage but from 
 death. But no ; faint, and dying fast, he turned and held out 
 his hand to me. " Cousin, what made you run ? Why did 
 you hurt me so ?" he said. I answered with a feeling of shame 
 that I hope never to have again : " Because I thought you 
 were a lady that wanted to marry me." " Oh, no," he said, 
 with feeble and interrupted breath, " I only thought you looked 
 
48 
 
 THE FALL OF MAN. 
 
 something like a friend of ours who was here a few years ago ; 
 and I wanted to take you to a place where there are some 
 cocon-nut trees and a fresh spring, and we'd talk this matter 
 over. And let me tell you something," he said, drawing my 
 ear down near his lips. " Don't go on supposing that every 
 female that may look at you pleasantly and seek your society 
 has selected you. Remember me kindly to Du Chaillu. 
 Adieu ! " 
 
 He died ; and I walked slowly on, musing upon my adven- 
 ture, a more modest, if not a wiser man, and did not quicken 
 my i)ace until I remembered that I was charged with Living- 
 stone's message to Murchison. 
 
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