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i\
ri
THE FAL'LOF MAN:
OR,
THK LOVES OF THE GORILLAS.
• A POITLAK .SCIKSrlFIC LECTCRK ITON TUB
Baiiujinian ^heoim of ^development by Sexual i^election.
BY A LEARNED GORILLA.
" Edited by the Author nf
"ThK NkW (iOSPKL OK PkACE."
•\^
.TORONTO:
THE CANADTAX NEW« AND PUMTJSHINU (;0.
I671.
i
i I
.-/
//
/^
1 \
\\
THE FALL OF MAN:
OB,
THE LOVES OF THE GORILLAS.
A POPULAR SCIENTIFIC LECTIRB UPON TIIB
:t?)a»iwiman ^heotj.j of :t?)evelopment by Sexual ^election.
JiV A LEARNED GORILLA.
Edited by the Author of
"The New Gospel of Peace."
TORONTO:
THE CANADIAN NEWS AND PUBLIS
1871.
^ ll
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^j^i^'^l^i
Jt — ^
rr
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B
at
di
th
to
of
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Wl
ar
wi
DEDICATION.
f
To CHARLES DARWIN, Esq, M.A., F.R.S., etc, etc.
Sir :
To you is dedicated this faithful report of a humble
attempt to confirm, explain, and elucidate the wonderful and
irrefragable theory of which you are the discoverer and the
promulgator. Of which dedication the appropriateness is
manifest. What other disposition of the work of your learned
kinsman would be so fitting as to lay it at your feet, hind-
thumbless although they be ? He follows you feebly and afar
But remember that he tells only what he knows, and does not
attempt to soar with you to the dizzy heig'-s of speculation, or
dive with you into the depths of disbelief .i.ign, sir, to accept
this modest tribute to the fiime of one who has done so much
to elevate our conception of ourselves and of the great scheme
of creation ; and look with the generous eye of exalted genius
upon the honest and simple effort of a co-laborer who strives,
with you, to convince the world that a Shakespeare may be but
an oyster raised to the one-thousandth power, or even a Dar-
win the cube root of a ring-tailed monkey.
The Editor.
V
4,
INTEODUCTIOJS^.
One morning in the spring of the present year I, the editor,
or rather the reporter, of the following lecture, found myself in
a forest of Western Africa. I was neither searching for the
source of anything, nor hoping to meet anybody. But, as I
walked on my lonely way, I did soon come upon a man, much
be-tattered and bronzed, who was plainly an Anglo-Saxon.
He was bathing his feet in a muddy little spring, from which a
tiny rill ran out and lost itself in the leafy gloom. As I passed
him I turned my head inquiringly, and he looked up and said,
" Yes, my name is Livingstone, and this is it. It empties
into a duck-pond about a mile off, and that empties into a
series of mill-ponds, r^ach a little larger than the other, from
the last of which a river runs into Lake Nyanza. This is it ;
and so I thought that, as I am rather tired with my tramp,
I would b-^the my feet. Throw a chip in here, and it will
float past i ;;bes and the Pyramids into the Mediterranean.
Just send word to Murchison, please, that I'll be along pre-
sently. Good morning." "AH right," I answered; "good
morning," and continued my walk, thinking how nice and
jolly it was to find Livingstone making a wash-pot of the source
of the Nile.
As I went onward, musing upon the eternal fitness of
things, an endless theme, I became aware that there were
many monkeys around me, of various kinds, but chiefly gorillas.
They were all in motion, not disporting themselves or seeking
food, but apparently moving forward, with one consent, in one
direction. Some of them were leaping from tree to tree ;
others ran along upon the ground. As I went on the numbers
mcreased, until at last I found myself surrounded by several
, INTRODUCTION.
of tlu'ir species. 1 '^^'^^ 'f"''l,' „rmined to see what was the
^^'^'^'"" ''^MhiTmo^v:rnt. I'^otwedhlexan.pleand joined
onasH.n of ^^;^ '^;\\S'',bovit an hour, the throng mcreasing
the crowd. Atl<-r ^^^"^'"b '' ,„^,,„ .,„ onen u ace in the
at every step, we ^y^ ';^:^^^ 7Z^cy. Some
forest, and there we found a '^^^*^ " ^^'"j .^ched upon the
were seated upon the g^^!'"<\ "f.^^^.^^^'n ^eemed animated
^•--•''^•^t:,'r "K:taa"e;,rcttLrnV which in the
and expectant \;Y^J"'fi,,t ^^^ understand; although,
confusion, I did not^ at j .^ ^ ^^^^.^^ ^^^^^^j
S;::lli ^;^ J'^lie/lange, and partly ^rtyhe
gorilla dialect.. ^'-\] ^^?,l^^^^^,'^!lv^^^^^^
njan.;; " mte^st.ng si^ ct lecture,^^ ^^^^^ ^^^, ^^
Urn iUigg I lee. l l"'^^"^^^ ';' nnrwinian theory ; and of course
on ll-.e monkeyversion of the ^^'Y.'' "1" jnt^' sources of the
decided to wait, and bathe ^yJ^^^'J.^n^ places (for,
Nile. After the ladies had l^'^en escoritu i attentive
as Mr. nil ChaiUu has told us, the g^^j^^^^f f J^^.^ ^ large
to their females), there was ^'l^"!;^ ^'^^^"^J^dle ag^^^^^^
and solemn male gorilla, «omewha ast "^^^^le age
?o;;^.nhought and into the English ^^^^^^^ ^^ ^^^
^r'^"f ''"CwirstcS.dhVtrXe of his subject,
gorilla lecture. N°b^^'';^, '^"^^^^^^^ predecessor and kinsman,
and the example of his illustrious Pje" ^ ^^^
he has made his amorous ^f.^^^^Jf^' ^^^^^^ made it
with great delicacy ; and, ""f^^^ \^;.^7;^^'^;he obscurity of a
necessary to cloak ^'^y ^^'^^^^'^^^^^^^^ days-these
l;;:^;;!;^^.^^ rr :;S:^women leam nothing of
house-keeping but much of Latin.
s^V*
LEOjTURE.
My Hairy Hearers :
belovTcf ^K^cf '^' T'f' '?,^^^^^In>y than the wilds of our
creature clfed 'm'' '"-rK'^'^ .^^ ''^ ^^""^^^^ smooth-skinned
with creeds and h^- • ^"'" ^""''''- '^^ ''"'"^^^ ^^ ^^^^ vexed
witn creeds and theories and notions : and the one of these
which has been longest and most rleenlv root-d in hi- _ :,f '^
.anHc I \ } V ^''•"^- ^^^"^ 'i»»drcds of vears, for thou
sands, he has beheved that his forefathers lived in a Golden
Age, compared with which that in which he now toUs anS
•.
8
TrtE FALL OF MAN.
'»•
worries is an age of stone or iron ; and he seems to have had
a melancholy pleasure in the thought that in that golden age
his race was better, happier, and handsomer than it is at
present. Of all his fancies, this one has the best foundation,
l-or, O my quadrumanous hearers, whether gorillas, chim-
panzees ouran-outangs, or simple undistinguished monkeys !
this feeble, helpless creature is akin to us, and is in fact our
poor relation. The thought, indeed, is shocking. No re-
spectable gorilla, of welNregulated mind, can contemplate it
without horror. But the truth must be told sometimes ; aud
the time has come when we must confess that man, weak,
born without clothes -cruel, cowardly and ungrateful man— is
of our family; very remotely, I am happy to say, a kind of
ten thousandth cousin, but still a direct descendant of our
progenitors. From the Iiigh state of gorilla-hood he has de-
scended to that of manhood ; and we are in a measure disgraced
by his humiliation. I'his is the fall of man— that he has
descended from monkey-hood to humanity.
The story of his descent in the scale of creation is sad and
touching and cannot be heard without deep emotion. What
lady gorilla about to bec-onie a mother, or hoping that at some
future day she may be about to become a mother— about to
become a mother for the Hrst, or second, or I will say even
the third time (for I cannot suppose that any well-regulated
lady gorilla would ever be about to become a mother for the
fourth time)-what lady gorilla, I say, in this interesting con-
dition of mind, could contemplate without shuddering the
probability that, mstead of presenting the gentleman gorilla of
her affections with a pledge of their love that promised to have
a hide and a bellow that would rival those of a buf^hlo, teeth
Ike pebble^stones, n fmv relrcating forehead, and, above alL
that high distmguislung feature of our race, a hind-thumK
that IS at once a terror to our foes and the most useful of all
our members she would produce a wrinkled, pink-bodied
weakling, looking like a inonI<cy--one of the smallest and
feeblest of our race- that had been flayed alive, and which,
even after reachmg maturity, could live only by covering itself
with an artificial skm, an<l i)y making machines with which to
get Its food and defend itself against its natural enemies ! The
Idea is shocking ; and 1 beg pardon of my lady friends for the
:'^
5-.
to
w -t
•^
.*f<l
THE gorilla's FALL. ^
tSu n"f' ^ "^^u^^ ?' ^?"^ suggestion. But the story of
this fall of man although sad, is interesting, and I shall proved
ZIa ''' S°"''-''"f °" '^^ indulgence of my hearers • for it t
linked and twmed with our own past history '
rJ.f ^' ^^^"^ ^^^^^y ^°'^ ^'y o"^^ «f these very miserable
creatures, who, m the depths of his degradation has vet h.<i
the sense to d scover his relationship to^us and the .race to
^'lleTtheDJ' ^es, my well-haired friends, a malTnTmll
g led the Dpvin has had the satisfaction of boasting to his
fellows of his descent from the quadrumana. Not only so
fheir "lorv" ^Tl^'f'' ''''' ^^ ^^^P' ^° ^^ ^hameVnd
meir glory. nail tell you succmctly and directlv what h^
spreads oyer a long and tedious narrative, fuH of as e tions
and repetitions, and guesses, which he calls inference^ These
are all needless to us ; for, as he confesses, and we boast we
.rSefsid"-: '^"^'"^^ ^""^'^^ ^-^ his poor So:
in weakness and ignorance can on v erasn hv o lr^,,^ j
pamful process whi?h .hey call re.3n|?y tlich Z arf
often led mto absurdities attainable in no other «av '
As you know, the world was made for the gorill- and
when he appeared he was in all the glorv of hi, nreseni
strength and beauty. He was the last and highe t of Nafurrt
productions, the ideal creature of the univefse Tr„„ ^
were others larger and str„„ger-on land an Ita wat lions
s nrrajy-reros;™ Ti^^T:!^^-^ tr^
HT^4ot^:t1e*rt„-•ic?rourS:J,^S^^
si;irrrgLrb;t,;Sn*^^^^^^^
.f saMife 'nSiM. ts tdirsr- ui'r.riT
^Sn'^^fTrnT'r-f'ilir t^'-S", "'= "'^^^'^^
fi;ieuds through the Mt ^^^ fickl^S' orihT^f rifs^
That charming and no less useful half of our race" as S
bane and its torment for many centuries To thm
the humihatmg fact that gorillas once had taHs and
been
we
I ..J ,
lO
THE FALL OF MAN.
i
I,
that some even of our cousins are still afflicted with that
ridiculous, although sometimes useful, appendage. I hope
that none of those who are present, representing the be-tailed
families of our species, will take offence at what I have said.
All distinctions founded upon superiority have been done away
by the revolutions of late years ; and the last change in the
fundamental law of our community, I think it was the fifteenth,
made the smallest and longest-tailed monkey in Africa — my
equal.
But to the story of our tail.
Long ago, so long that the years cannot be numbered
upon the all the fingers and toes of all the gorillas and monkeys
in Africa, a beautiful young gorilla was courted by several
gentlemen gorillas, some in their earliest youth, some nearer
maturity, and some at that period of mature middle age which
I — ah have — ah had occasion to observe is not without its
peculiar charms to the tender and beautiful of her sex. But
none of them found favor with her. She seemed averse to
IP
}
s
\
a
f
g
d
b
fi
GORILLA COURTSHIPS.
1 1
-.-i*
fW
marriage. They went through all those performances which
are at once tributes to beauty, and so allurements to its
possessors They danced, they strutted, they howled, they
beat their breasts ; they ran up the tallest trees and jumped
trom the tops, landing plump heforc her at tlie most unexpected
moments, and in the most extraordinary and indescribable
positions Jhey stood on their heads and clapped the palms
of their hands and the soles of their feet together, howling at
the same time so enchantingly that they could be heard for
miles around. One of them even applied the thumb of one
distended hand to his nose, and the thumb of his other dis-
tended hand to the little finger of the former, and so with the
thumbs and fingers of his feet, and grinned in the most
bewitching manner. But alas, she sat unmoved before all
these demonstrations of strength, agility, and affection. To
none of them did she seriously incline. True, there remained
untried the form of mingled courtshi]) and marriage, a seizure
by main force and an elopement, which has been so common,
and which IS said to be not without its charms to many of her
sex of all races, and in all climes, and which is one of those
time-honored institutions, the abrogation of which would seem
hke the upheaving of the foundations of society. But her
size and strength were so great that none of her suitors
.T.7.f .T", ^^''^"I'^thod of courtship; for it was under-
stood that she lacked that willingness to be seized which alone
gives this method its charm and its success. In fact, she was
the Erunhi da of our race, for whom there were Gunthers
enough, but no Siegfried. She had let it be understood that if
any lover pressed his attentions upon her she would bind his
hands and feet together, and, bending down the biggest
sapling she could find, tie him to its tops and let it sprinfup
with him into the air again. And so she was not moleited,
and passed through the woods in maiden-meditation, fancy
One day she sat upon the sea-shore, lonely and pensive,
gazmgupon the water, when suddenly there appeared m the
distance an enormous, oval head, with moon-like eyes, followed
by many roods of body and tail, that rose and fell like the
waves of the ocean. It was the Sea-serpent. She looked at
first with wonder, then with curiosity, at last with admiration.
J 2 THE FALL OF MAN.
What enormous grace of undulation ! ;jVhat seductive sinu-
ositv ' What bewildering unmensity of horizon al extension
What' glistening folds of glairy smoothness ! mat a Piquan
difference from tlie rectangular jointedness, the half-upngh
attitudes, and the hairy roughness of her obtrusive suitors ! As
she eazed her heart told her she had found her affinity. But,
overSr^e aUhough she was, she w.as also coy. Smitten to her
vIrTmidriff with love's dart, she would not, unsought be won,
even by the Sea-serpent. Nor would she be guilty of the im-
proprS^ of remaining alone with a member of the opposite
sex,^ to whom she was not married, or even engaged, and
indeed a gentleman who had not been properly introduced She
ose with maiden modesty, to walk avvay. But I am bound
Jo say that her course did not lead her directly rom the ob ect
which she thought it becoming to leave ; rather, it must be
confessed, in that oblique line before him, which gave the
S opportunity to him\i seeing her, and to . her of casting
dances at him, while she produced the impression that, if not
Sed, she would very soon be out of sight. As she moved
along 'the strand, he gazed, and was f---^^^'. "f °" ^^^^^^
her hairy figure, but by the captivating combination of stride,
stumble, and jump, which is the received uiode of FOgres^on
of our noble race. The Sea-serpent was enchanted The
flame was mutual. Nevertheless, after the manner of his sex
he set himself to win what was his already. He went through
all his masculine and serpentine performances. He coiled him-
self up and stretched himself out. He lashed the sea into
foam. He came on shore and tied himself up into true lover s
knots before her. He put his tail into his mouth, and rolled
along the shore in a vast circle, the symbol of the eternity of
his love. It seemed as if the very equator had become en-
amored of her charms, and, refusing any longer to belt the
Earth revolved within the reach of her superior attractions.
FinallV by a super-serpentine effort, he stood straight up on
the point of his tail, flapping his fins and hissing out his
admiration with a noise like that of the Maelstrom. 1 his
accomplished his purpose. When she saw him thus reared
un and looking down with such perpendicular enormity of
love, from an elevation of some hundred feet, the compliment
was more than she could bear. The omnipotence of her
/
ive smu-
tension !
piquant
f-upright
3rs ! As
y. But,
m to her
be won,
f the im-
opposite
led, and
:ecl. She
m bound
lie object
must be
gave the
)f casting
lat, if not
lie moved
t only by
of stride,
•egression
ed. The
if his sex,
t through
Diled him-
; sea into
rue lover's
uid rolled
eternity of
;come en-
) belt the
ittractions.
ght up on
ig out his
om. This
lus reared
normity of
ompliment
nee of her
THE SERPENT IN EDEN.
13
L /
charms had turned the equator to the pole ; and, satisfied, she
yielded. 1 hen he, descending from his height, led her to their
nuptial bower, a neighbouring cave, nothing loath, but vet
with coy, reluctant amorous delay.*
PvjThe fruit of these nuptials appeared in due time. As
might have been expected, it was a mingling of the traits of
the two parents— a gorilla with a tail, which appendage had
now been added to one of our race for the first time by the
operation of the great principle of sexual selection. At first
the tail was looked upon with suspicion, if not aversion. The
most respectable matrons of our race scoffed, and sniffed, and
turned up their noses at the little stranger. A gorilla with a
* The iearued lecturer might here have cited, in support of the truth-
fullness of this and one or two other passages, Mr. Darwin's much mor.
impressive, as well as multitudinous, description of what he calls "the act
Of courtship, in chapters xiii. and xriii., passim, of " The Descent of Man
and belection in relation to Sex."
||;'/ '
=.S k
14
THE FALL OF MAN.
. -1 1 And thev were right ; the serpent had indeed entered
T S ' TrlthaMv^ f . tr,h? faion, was'ere long con-
fashion anQAvnai waa at fallen race grew
Tekchha^da"! broke thim on the heads of the two lad.es.
\_ J
cp^iTK
entered
married
:d goril-
ssession
by this
Is began
ame the
jng con-
ice grew
ptivating
with it ;
re with a
)r carried
ng taken
inch of a
cocoa-nut
ivo ladies,
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST,
15
doubt and derision were alike abandoned; there went up a
v^ve in the struggle for existence. After this he could have
ma ned every lady gorilla in Africa ; but there was no need of
mn dlv to m!r'r"°''/^ gentlemen gorillas with tails came
deferred ^nl ^ """ "^ ''"^ pretensions to social distinction
preferred to remain in a state of widowhood, or even of vestal
virginity, rather than accept a lover who was not decorated
exc^pr:!: old T' ^' '^f '"", ^^-^^^ "° ^^""-^^ -'^hout S;
tailSsh.X ^ fogies who took great pains to parade thei;
tailless backs, stroking their sparse white whiskers, and talking
of the good old times, when they were young, and no p oper
young lady would have looked at a sea-serpent But they vvere
only laughed at for their pains. "^
and [he ^T' ^°''''''' '^°''^^ ^^'^ J"'^'^^ °^ their censure,
and the sad consequences of Brunhilda's indiscretion A
KeS a°nd"7n''^ development was then illustrated in our
tiapless and fallen race with direful results. The eorilla
reaches maturity in a few years, but the Sea-serpent in, I do
not know how many. It may be centuries. Science h^s no°
decided that interesting question. I am of opinion that "he
Sea-serpent IS still growing; for each time he is seen he is
larger than he was at his previous appearance. Be this as it
may, when the gorilla part of the new species which had thus
been forrned, reached maturity, it ceased of course to grow
norL.Ti sea-serpentine appendage. That followed its
A°Trs Z '^rf'^P^''''' '^"d kept on slowly growing. '
At first this excited no apprehensions of trouble, but even a
le pride At last, however, the new species showed verj
little gorilla, and a great deal of sea-serpenl, until at last they
came to be a tail with a gorilla. The tails grew, and grew
d"if 7' ""V^. '^''y ^T"^ ""^ ""d"'^ted off inio the^dim
distance ; and it seemed at last as if a gorilla might be here
tre dimg perspective into infinite space. The tails, too, follow-
ing their natural instincts, had an irrepressible tend^nc; toward
♦ See "The Descent of Man," etc., chapter viii. on " The Laws of In
hentance." and "On the Relation of the Period of Deyelo^ment," etc
i6
THE FALL OF MAN.
1 w.\. thpre thev were so remote that they were
the water, and while ^'^^^^-.^^.^^^.-r owners. Lobsters clawed
entirely beyond the co trd ^^ Jj!'^ ^^^^^j, offensive liberties
them sharks snapped t em nd .hale^s^t ^^^^^_^^^ ^
^''\' At tim s tht whole community would be tied up m
ment At tmies ne wn .^^ ^ ^^^^,^ ^^^^.
one ind.stmgiushable k o ik^ ^^^^ ^^
box. It was proposed o a t ott the u ^^ i
clam-shells ; and this was tntd : l^';';^'^^;. ^^^^ j^ .^as the
and the gorilla so ^^y ^^ ^^r^^^o^n to the
tnT^lan was abandoned, as it must need 1 e ,eej. J ^our
race would have become extinct. J^^^^ ^ f ^ig tail
each individual should gradually '^^^uce the lengh o^ ^^^^^
by cutting it off joint by joint. But ^e conm i p ^^
V
MMHHNI^ -^'*^'^ai^^ffm.)ffr*!^''***^'*
MAITERS Iii;c()MK MIXED.
'7
icy were
; clawed
liberties
;ntangle-
:d up in
m's bait-
flints or
ery large
was the
n to the
)eriments
r;
.s>
leen, or our
ecided that
t of his tail
n produced
[uite sure of
)r disporting
himself in as lively a manner as was possible in this gloomy state
o things he wa hable to feel a joint of his tail cut off b/some
other individua half a mile away, or perhaps sitting nex^ him
and this might happen two or three times in one day after 1^
In ""l bl.TT'^'^',' '^" ^'"'y J"'"*' '^ «^-^ was'the con-
tusion. I blush to relate, too, that it destroyed the peace of
community. lo this condition, my well-haired and tailless
qiuidnimanous hearers, our nu-e was'reduced by the wayward
fancy and unnatural longing of one female. ^
o./;" f ^^/^Pl"''^'^'^ condition of affairs, we were saved by the
action of the same great principle of sexual selection to wh ch
we owed our degradation. i}y a female came our fall and
hrough a female came our salvation. A gorilla maiden of
ender years, and whose sea-serpentine appendage was ye^ in
US earhest stages of develoi>ment, saw the time approaching
when she would be courted and perhaps claimed and taken b?
some two-legged termination of an elongated sea-monster
Inf^^T u ^r' ^ ^^;""«-'"'"^l^''l female, and she determined
to free herself, and if possible her race, from the dreadful
consequences of the indiscretion of her ancestress. Like tha
socTetf fnd ' '^"''"if '^' '^'^•^"^'^^ ^^^' ^^i^hdrew from
society, and gave herself up to solitary wanderings. I'he pro-
blem which she had undertaken to solve was difficult ; for then
not only gorillas, but all things living had tails. But when
was female ingenuity and perseverance ever baffled in regard
to marriage ! In that matter, we of the stronger sex are mere
puppets in the female hands. We often think we have om
own way, but it is chiefly by allowing us to think so that our
To nf/ ^^^™^^\'^^^^' theirs. Chance aided her as chance
so often does those who wait and watch with determined
purpose.
One day, as she sat by the borders of a large lagoon, a huge
pair of nostrils appeared on the surface of the waters. They
wheezed and snorted for a few moments : and then an enor-
mous head came forth, garnished with little ears and huge
stony teeth. I'he head was followed by a still more enormous
body but, oh joy! oh delight, and prospect full of hope!
a body to which there was appended the smallest conceivable
2
THE FALL OF MAN. ^
ness might be ho t<i to ^^^^^ ^^^ ^"^^\\''wuy, might not
so gigantic a ^o^y^^^^.tion, what caudaU^eav^,^ J^^^^.^^
What termmal ranst ^^ ^^^^.^ ^^ f^.thcr ^^^^^^
be looked for ui the 1^;"^ ^ ^^n>P^n'ota"'\\' '' .^j ^ j^r
was taken on the J^S^^,, „f ,,, des^n 1 --^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^
her. But the acco^^^^^^^ ,^,^,
from easy, ^^^^.l^tie would rmi ^^'^^^^^ ^^ 'L^ed along the
she supposed thatjie.^^ ^^ ^ ^ pa he ^^^^^^^ .^^^^
surprise he took no thrustmg hi^ • b ^^^^ ^^,^ter
sedgy margin of the gr i ^ ^ "f„ his way and trod
the tnud and St rnng vi^^ ^^^^^^ ^^, , '^^^ndulating after
were ahke ^f/Sy, mincing steps her tail ^^,„„saous
the shore wvth damty, ^^^ ^^^^^^^, ^-"^.led a"d gave her a
her in gracefuHo^s^ ^.^ ^^ ,^, "^td'ateW again to his
of her \f'^Z%^^^ncc, but turned "^%^f Spopotamus is
lazy look of ^"difteren ' ^^^ ^^,^^^^^ ^J^fna a most without
loafmg through the mu .^^^^^^^^g ^ wtthoS sentiment,
not a Uvely a^^J^f^^° Lved to say, utterly wUho^^a ^^^
curiosity, and, 1 am g g^^ eould not seize a ^^^^
What was to be done^^ ^^^^ ^ e sc^ he ^^^^
out of hand ; or if she ^^^ ^^^ ^!' n.ss body; and carry
been no nearer ^^'J''^^,^t^\y almost-taiUess bo^V; ^^^ ^ave
vast enchanting, and exq ^^ " ng-minded as a
itoffwithhertohe^^f flesh? For strong ^^^^^^^^.^le
been the ^^d|fferent "n .^f^l' efficiency of her
female may b^, J^nd ^ ^^^^ „ thejth^ J
decrees of ^^^^^^^ to that of her wiles Our .
"V:S.rtamess progeny-, „,^„^,, ,„d ™astered U ate
imiiii
FEMALE WILES.
eyes was of
us. in ^^^5
What happi-
eature having
ly little tail 1
,iy, might not
rter resolution
should marry
oved to be tar
the water, and
her. 'I'o her
hed along the
uige snout mto
and the water
is way and trod
undulating alter
^ed unconscious
, and gave her a
tely again to h s
hippopotamus!^^
i almost without
tthout sentiment,
e and marry him
she would have
^ble to seize that
ss body, and carry
^' her would have
trong-minded as a
, the unalterable
he efficiency of her
Our forcastmg anQ
have stood guard
fed and contented
I have been thereby
^ Imis a newly-fouT^d
and mastered it after
^fof her sex m such
f ?J Her female
)lution. n*^^ . ,
.popotamus might be
19
without curiosity, without politeness, and even without a dis-
position to gallantry, he < oiild not be male and yet without
sexual vanity. As he woul.I not fall in love wi h her she
decided to make him believe that she was enamored of him •
nnf' '?,';'"S female, she also defermined that, although she set
r:ol ' TT'"" ''^ --^I'^'^-^^ti^' '-'^ and yielding to him
o h^r 1? ' ''• "' '^"^ ''f-^'"' ^''' ^"difference. She retreated
there InTn"" ^'T'""''^ '"^'^ ""•'"« ^"^^'" "" ^'^^' ^'^nk, remained
s';" out oTight'" "'^'^ "•'" '^' ''''''' "^^^ ^-"i^ -^- -d
The next day, when he came out upon his haunt she wnv
bS^'^alff.'^' '";'' "°^ '^^'^ ''' ''''' ^he watehed him
aown tne sedges (a proceeding which she seemed to reLmrd
with the ivehest interest), he walked down into the dS^tls^^s
he was about disappearing he turned his head, and h last
ghmpse of the upper world showed him the young lady lorU a
gazmg pensively on his vanishing form. AVn^Mi^she s^a^v £
turn h,s head she smiled within fcrself ; for she aw thit he
had put a hook into his nostrils. Again' and again he found
her there, always gazing quietly at him ; and eacl dav he
Imgered longer at his amphibious disporting ^
no^ visible .'''bu?Tnn"^''^l' ■''' ""^ '^''^ ' '' ^'^'' «he was
watchTdthe'p^. ; ^"^ealed in a neighboring thicket, she
Ts uta? and lontn '''k ''"f • ^^^^'' hippopotamus ar'rived
n^ her Z ^°°''^,^,["'" her at her accustomed seat. Not see-
ing her he came fully out upon the shore and gazed around
eyL'^He snXd'tl'^'^^S^""!"^' "•^^^"'^'^•-'^ S hisTt?;
ZT.u -^ ^^'^ '"'■' ^'"^ ^he wind blew from the shore
and she remained undiscovered. Deprived of h s aud ence'
his performances that day vvere brief and spiritless and h^
soon sought the bottom of the lagoon The nivl Ho ' 1
^h-e. and he trotted directly ^t^e .'^"^t £ot a7d
walked shyly away, keeping her^yes softly ben upon him
tt.H^Pfi T^'"^ ^"'"^•y ' ^^'^ ^' °"^^ ^he fled away i ta p^e
that defied pursuit ; for she was much the nimbler tt a can
tMTh"e coS"'^^'' T"f "^i^ "^^^^ eyesathim:'\serg
mat ne could not overtake her. he went hnrlr inf.. ,u '1 °
She returned ,o her post of obser^Z' when he be^an *^Y;
performances which the Darwin says 'the male al^ gSs
N
'>
t
I
^g 'inr. I'Ai.i- t'f ^''^^-
gnashed his tcoth, he rolled over ana mc ^^ ^^^
^ater. in the most -Pt-^'^r^ ^^ ^^, ,"de^ boil like u ,! ,•
water and ashed al.cn. n '^ ' ^J^^. ,„,tinu.d her j. n-
In vain; «1^^' ^'^^ ''"T^ m^^^^^^ her <.he Ikd. and
sive ua/e; and when he apun a ..roadul her ^ ^^^^^
this tin.e actually vamshed "-"- J^j '^^ j^.^ma^ ce' Again she
were there a^^a.n, and he '^^'ll^'; ^V ^^ '^^^^ c,f repressed
was charu.ed, I'^t still unyielding. n trcn / i^^^ ^^^
,,i ,,„tanm-, feehng he aPpro chu her ^.^ ^.
u'lLl his little.eyes? sK^djcl not k. c^^^^fe^ ^^^^ ^^^^^.^^^_
Uvil wuh the rapidity ^^ ^^ ^^^ f^^^ to the greatest,
scions that he was thus ^tt act ng ^^^ .^^ ^nce,
although the least ^^^\^^';^^:J ^^^ 1 occurred to hu. that
nred and stnnu ated by ^"\^y ' f^, ^. ,' ,, a position and with a
if iK- could and ^^^- d -^d^'Ve ^ild be irresistible. He had
„v.venKntnioiehke c o^^n n^^^ her hind legs ; and he
observed that she walked chieny upo> ^^^ ^is. He
therefore determined to f PP''^;;^ ! .^^.^^^^^ "kh difficulty, and
heaved himself upward two o th.et »^^*- ^^^^^^/.f His
^r'"" ""^"rut aVbst h a"tuun:d hiS end, Ld approached
clumsy race, l.ut at f ^^ "*'.'; j-,^ ^.f i^er own graceful gait.
her, walking in a ponderous "^^l^ation o .^,, ^ ^ |,i,to-
U was an awful and overpmvermg ^^^^J^^ od.bon,
rian of the fallen race ot l^;l'^?'"v°^,Ve bent his hippopotamic
did not have a mere trying f^fjl^^" ^^ ^^.^^ .^as obliged to
figure, and knelt before his beloved o^^' ^^^ -^ ^„i ^vith a
call her servants to help hun uy J"^^,^^"^ ..i^ded by
pcaloflauglaer^;bu^ourpcmde.u.s no^^^ ^^^ ,
seeing on the f:ice of his cn^-^ ■ almost incredible,
smile. It roused him to an txeruo ^^ ^
Inllamed with love, and his van ty tickled toj^ p
he did what the Darwin 7^^,^ Xaffirst^he soon launched
he danced. Moving slowly ^nd sUffly -it ^^rs features,
into a break-down that was a ^^^^ ^^^ .\^^^,^^^ J^' .e" thundered
^Vithjaws mde open, and no^tnl^^^^^^^^^^^^
ahont the shore, flmgn g ^^^ /"^J^^^^^^i, ^,^^ legs stuck deep
a.v; gigantic ^^^^"^^^ "1^ ^^ °d imerrupted his performance
^ :^ ^ l^rT«S r^'dJ^w It out 4h a suddenness and
ii
THK HIIM'OPOTAMUS IN I.oVK.
31
Dwcd and
nuul and
to deeper
like a pot.
1 her p«>n-
iltd, and
t (la\ both
Again she
repressed
could he
;d his tiny
all uneon-
le greatest,
U at once,
to him that
and \\ith a
i. He had
gs ; and he
n his. He
Rculty, and
[hers of his
approached
;raceful gait,
great histo-
led (nbbon,
ippopotamic
, obliged to
only with a
rewarded by
■><^ delighted
t, incredible,
int of frenzy,
their loves,
jon launched
ig creatures,
le thundered
1 with frantic
gs stuck deep
performance,
ddenness and
force that made a report that startled all the birds within a
mile, and phmged again into his amorous .salutation. It was
the most tremendous /><n sail ever execiiled. At last he
stopped, i)anting; and, plumping down upon his knees, joined
his fore-paws m .supplication. Of course our ancestress then
yielded— so the Durwin says that no female can resist a dancing
lover—and in due time she was rewarded by the aia.carance of
a httle gorilla with a tail .so small as to be hardly visible.
The event stirred our conuminity far more than if die bantling
had been born without a head, 'i'he mothers nf newlv born
gorillas, with the old-fashioned tail, undertook ;. first to' decry
the peculiar feature of the new-comer. Hut this effort, although
natural, was in vain ; and ..i brief, the little tail . .nv, like the
great tail in eorlier ages, became; the fashion, an. carried ail
before it. The hippopotamus, although, I am son v to .say he
was already married, and the father of a family, was persuaded
by other lady gorillas to illustrate the great priiuipK of sexual
selection. Many other hippopotamuses were led astray, to the
V
u
22
TIIK TALL OF MAN.
S
I
I !
great disturlxance of thf connubial depths of the lakes and
rivers of that region ; and the result was that in the course of a
generation or two the great tails had disappeared, and the
story of their origin came to be regarded as an old wive's fable.
For a very considerable time — I will not undertake to say
how many hundred thousand years ; and in such matters a
hundred thousand years or so is'a mere trifle — gorillas had little
tails : now they have none. It has been supposed by a pre-
decessor of the Darwin that these tails were worn off by being
sat down upon, and so gradually disappeared at once from the
face of the earth and the back of the gorilla. I am not pre-
pared to say, at this stage of the inquiry into the theory of
development, that such an abatementof our caudal appendages
were not possible. Hut 1 deal here with facts, not with fan-
cies ; and, in flict, such was not the manner of their disappear-
ance ; for, indeed, the tails were so very small, and tucked
themselves away so very closely and comfortably when we
sat down, that the friction necessary to their abatement was
never eftectually established. It happened through another
manifestadon of the principle of sexual selecdon, and in this
wisfe.
A lady gorilla — a young matron, who was generally believed
to have her husband very well in hand, partly from his devotion
to her, but chiefly through her selfish indifference to him, and
who found herself for the second time in that interesting situa-
tion which gives every female who considers herself a lady the
right to insist upon tlic gratificadon of her slightest whim and
most fanciful caprice— took a notion that she must eat the soft
parts of a very tender young crocodile. She thought that the
high musky flavor of such a tit-bit would be of great benefit to
her; and, indeed, she threatened that if it were not forthcoming
she would surely produce, not a gorilla, but a crocodfle, or, at
the very least, a gorilla with scales and a long, thick tail. Her
husband was a great fisherman, and she sent him out to catch
for her the much-desired tlainty. He fished all day with fisher-
man's luc:k. He liud inany exciting nibbles, and some very
promising bites, but no baby crocodile. The shades of night
were falling fast, and he found that his bate was all gone. He
dreaded the scene that would ensue upon his appearance with-
1*
iiii»riim I
lakes and
course of a
d, and the
/ive's fable.
alee to say
1 matters a
as had little
i by a pre-
ff by being
:e from the
m not pre-
i theory of
appendages
)t with fan-
r disappear-
and tucked
' when we
.tement was
igh another
and in this
lly believed
lis devotion
to him, and
ssting situa-
f a lady the
t whim and
eat the soft
;ht that the
It benefit to
forthcoming
)dile, or, at
c tail. Her
lut to catch
■ with fisher-
[ some very
des of night
gone. He
trance with-
EVERV FISHERMAN HIS OWN BAIT. 23
out the Object Of his lady's longings. What should he do?
m his desperation a bright thought occurred to him There
un'heardT b "/ .h'^ "^^ ''^ ^^"^^ '^'^^^' ^"^ '^^ -ethod wi:
to snbm;? ; 1 ^^^ ^'"^'•S^^^y ^vas great, and he was willing
ZherT """'^ ^"y f"""'^'^^' ^^^" that of mutilation,
rather than appear empty-handed before the mistress of his
affections and his household. He cut off his tail, put it on h s
last cast, comforting himself as much as he could with the con-
ciousness that, at least, he could come before his longing lady
saying, ''I have done what I could," and being able to how
Zrfvu-^'V^'^\ To his delight and surprL, it proved I
very killing bait. An infant crocodile, that had just then gone
out, in defiance of her mother's command.s, whi had warned
Sowrt^t^'^ f^t.1' ^^"^'^•''' ''^''' '^'^ this one sink sbwly
Shrthouir'.h r^^.^''"^^ 'T'""^^' ^^^^^S^ the twiHt water^
bhe thought that she would eat one only this once iust to
see how u tasted, and would never do so again. Sh^ iprlng
at t and was instantly drawn screaming tnd wriggling ou?
of the water, and the gorilla took her home triumphantly to
his expectant spouse, telling her of his sacrifice. Her whirS
had changed ; and the odor that she had so longed for filled
cosVh ?h?if "fv'^^V'^ consciousness that t'he thbg LI
heart if Zf^t ' 'f ^''','' ^ ''^''^ ^" ^^^at she called her
heart If not to her palate, and she managed to eat a morsel.
wJ. h"7 /■* V^""'"'"' of the disobedient crocodile child
were displayed in her cave, and she told to her gossips the
I i
I i .
«4
THE FALL OF MAN.
story of the tribute to her charms. She was filled with exulta-
tion, and they were stung with envy. She took airs upon her-
self. She was a wife for whom her husband would stop at no
sacrifice, not even that of the appendage to his seat of honor.
This could not be borne. The other ladies felt humiliated;
and soon several of them were seized with a longing like to
hers for a baby crocodile, to be captured in the same manner.
One entrapped, or caught with any other bait, would not
answer the purpose. Why prolong the recital ? The husbands
yielded ; the bait still proved taking ; and the pride of the
ladies was fed, if not their appetites. Soon it became an
understood thing that any gorilla who was worthy the i.ame of
husband and father would sacrifice his tail to provide newly-
born crocodiles for his wife ; and ere long there v/as not a mas-
culine tail to be seen in the community. The natural conse-
quences ensued, as the Darwin has explained ; and then by
the operation of the laws of development and of sexual selec-
tion, the gorilla became again a tailless animal.
Through these vicissitudes, my esteemed quadrumanous
hearers, our race has passed in consequence of the weakness
and the caprice of that lovely and enchanting sex whose errors
we are always so ready to forgive, in consideration of their
charms. [Here it was observed that the female gorillas bridled
and cast side glances at the males, and chattered in low tones
to each other. A few of the ugliest broke out into applause,
which was quickly frowned down by the leading matrons, and
laughed at by the beauties of the younger sort.] And now let
me warn my young female friends against that curse of their
sex, the temptation to make low marriages and to form disre-
putable connections with extravagant and wheedling strangers.
There is no surer way to destroy their peace of mind and to
ruin their prospects in life. [Here a hum of approval was
heard from the matrons, at which the younger belles giggled,
tossed their heads, and turned up their noses. One of them,
a pert minx, evidently a gorilla girl of the period, had the
audacity to call out, " 1 say, old buffer, how about that hip-
popotamus ?" But the lecturer did not reply, and went on
with his subject.] This failing is not peculiar to the females
of our noble race. The Darwin tells us that it is found in the
Utt^
MAKING LOW MARRIAGES.
25
dog family. But what might not he looked for in the habits of
such low people, who go about continually on all fours, without
raismg themselves occasionally as wc do on their posterior
extremities; who have no thumbs on their hind feet, and who
have tails, and not only have them, but wag them, with delight
m their possession. The Darwin says that the females of the
dog family (he gives them a name, i am sorry to say, which
would bring a blush to the cheek of innocence, and which
therefore I shrink from uttering, and so I use another term that
means the same thing)— well, he tells us that the lady-dogs
"are not always prudent in their loves, but are apt to fling
themselves away on curs of low degree. If reared with a com-
panion of vulgar appearance " [here the lecturer drew himself
up, passed one hand through his hair, and with the other stroked
his whiskers], " there often springs up between the pair a
devotion which no time can afterward subdue. The passion,
for such it really is, becomes of a more than romantic endu-
rance."* Could there be a more effectual warning against the
dangers of propinquity and the folly of what simpletons call
disinterested affection !
Let me further illustrate this topic by the story of a beautiful
lady-dog, the elegant and high-bred Kaloolah. Worthy to
bear the name of that lovely and renowned princess, our
Kaloolah lived in a country far beyond the (ireat Waters,
bhe was the daintiest and most delicate of her sex. Born of
the famous Blakkantan tribe, her coat was of jetty brilliancy,
soft and fine, and edged with the dark saffron border which is
the mark of the highest flimilies of her race. Not one white
hair marred the jetty perfection of Iut exterior, to betrav the
indiscretion of any of her ancestresses. Her body had the
slenderness of a greyhound's, and her pretty pointed paws
tapped the responsive ground lightly as she ran. After she
had attained nubile years she was sought by many males of
her own race ; but her fastidiousness caused her to reject them
all, and the care of those under whose protection she h.ad been
placed so seconded and su])ported her in her resolution, that
it seemed as if she would pass her life in the sweet serenity of
*Tho Descent of Man. Chapter xvii.
''W
11
!i
26
THR FALL OF MAN.
virgin solitude. [Here some slight hissing and giggling was
heard from the younger females, and a groan came up from an
ancient one, who was said to have very unfavorable opinions
of the taste of the whole male sex.] But, alas ! she was one
day removed to a rural district in the hill-country where her
protectors made their dwelling. At that place was a dog, a
■coarse, vulgar creature, rude, shaggy, unkempt, grisly, uncouth,
a kind of slave of the soil, who had been bought with the acres,
and who was never allowed to come within the house, hardly
near it, but was driven to find a fitting harborage in the stables
and out-buildings. Yet after a period — will it be believed ? —
such is the influence of propinquity, the beautiful Kaloolah cast
aside that maidenly reserve and fastidious exclusiveness by
which she had hitherto been distinguished, and shocked her
protectors by forming a tm'salliance with the Bear ; for so the
low brute was fitly called. The conseijuence duly appeared in
the form of a miserable mongrel, a grisly, gaunt, lean-bodied,
huge-pawed, awkward creature, without either the high-bred
elegance of its mother or the rugged strength of its father, a
shame to both its parents, an offence to the household, and a
living witness of the dreadful consequences of a practical dis-
regard of the great principle of sexual selection.
No other modification or development of our race has taken
place in the direct line, than those of which I have told you.
None other was necessary. We at last returned to, and have
since maintained, that perfection of beauty in face and form
which makes the gorilla the paragon of animals, and which
causes the few specimens of our effete cousin, man, who venture
within our haunts to come without their females, being natur-
ally unwilling to expose the partners of their beds and their
bosoms to the temptation of our superior attractions. [Here
the lecturer glanced aside at a knot of females in his audience,
and tried to look modest, but failed.] Even the Darwin, who
boasts of his descent from our noble race, would shrink from
such a test of his principle of sexual selection. We, 1 confess,
are not proud and should have no objection to such visitors, a
generosity of feeling which he himself has had the grace to
acknowledge.*
*See the pa.ssage in Latin in Chapter i. of "The Descent of Man."
""^,
THE BEGINNING OF THE END.
27
One overture was made to a female of our race which, if it
had been accei)ted, might have resulted in a very great and
striking modification of our traits. The incident has a direct
connection with the subject of my lecture ; for it was through
this female, and partly in consequence of this affair, that our
family tree divided into two great branches, and one of them
degenerated into Man. It so happened, by one of those
deplorable freaks of nature from which no race, however noble,
is entirely free, that a male gorilla was born deformed. In his
infancy, he was almost without hair, and the great thumb upon
the hinder extremities, to which chiefly we owe our proud dis-
tinction of being a four-handed race, was a puny thing, useless
except for walking ; and, in fact, of no more value than the big
toe of some of the inferior animals. As he grew up, a sparse
coat of soft hair did appear upon his body ; but the deformed
thumb of course never develoi)ed or changed ; it only grew in
proportion to his growth, and remained a miserable toe. Yet,
will it be believed ? certain of our young females, with the
unaccountable caprice of their sex, showed a hankering after
this young fellow. 'I'hey found him, in their own phrase "so
interesting!" "He was so different," they said, "from the old
humdrum style of gorilla gentlemen." They called him elegant.
Gorilla girls of the period, who might have commanded the
devoted service of individuals of the opposite sex much more
worthy of their attention, in fact, of— of individuals of mature
age, and distinguished position, well-haired, and with gigantic
hind thumbs— [Here the lecturer was observed to rub his coat
well up, and to gradually advance one of his hind feet on the
stump on which he was standing]— giddy creatures who might
have won the flivor of such persons who abounded then, and
who are — in fact— I may say— who are — sometimes— to be
found even now, actually preferred the society of this effeminate,
this more than effeminate creature. And yet, in the interests
of science, I must tell the exact truth ; according to tradition,
he was not quite a weakling. He was nimble and strong, but
it was in a different way from that of the other males of his
race. In his singularity was his charm. He was also lazy,
listless, and indifferent. He took no notice of the fairer sex,
even of those who were most devoted to him, and most open
m their admiration. He might have lived without lifting a
'i Ml
28
THE FALL OF MAN.
finger ; for they delighted in nothing so much as in serving
him. Making of the pecuUarity that was the very occasion of
their admiration an excuse for him and for themselves, they
said, "Poor fellow ! how can he be expected to get his living
with that soft coat, and with no hind thumbs?" And so they
ministered to him, each one hoping that she miglit be the one
whom he found essential to his happiness. He was often seen
stretched upon the grass, or lolling against a tree, with half a
score of these infotuated young creatures grouped around him,
waiting upon him, bringing him cocoanuts, endeavoring to win
from him some special acknowledgment of thankfulness — some
mark of preference.
In vain did other males approach these besotted damsels.
In vain did they howl, and spring from tree to tree 1 In vain
did they even dance with an extravagance — a frenzy of strength
and agility which had never before been known in the annals
of gorilla courtship, and which could be surpassed only by few
of the many similar .scenes described by the Darwin. It was
all as nothing compared with the listless langour of the soft-
coated, and hind-thumbless fellow.
But, in like manner, vain was the devotion of these silly
young creatures. No one of them found favor in his eyes.
At last he sent sorrow and despair into their souls by telling
them in secret, one by one, that although she Mas very good,
and although to have cocoanuts, and fruit, and water brought
to him by such a nice waiter-girl was \'ery i)leasant, and he was
very much obliged, he thought it only fair, under the circum-
stances, and considering her obvious expectations, to say that
he was not a marrying gorilla. In fact, he never could be fond
of such roughly-haired creatures as even she-gorillas were ; and
that, until he found one whose coat was even softer and slighter
than his own, he should remain a bachelor. They heard his
avowal in silent grief, each one saying in her heart that his
conditions were cruelly difficult to comply with : in fact, as she
turned the matter over in her mind — quite im-pos-si-ble.
And each one silently resolved that she would admit the
addresses of no other gentleman gorilla, let him dance before
her never so furiously ; but all her life would remain the virgin
DISAPPOINTMENT IN LOVE,
29
Widow of her living love. Such, the Darwin tells, has been the
determination of the females of other races, dogs, guinea-hens,
etc.'^
Among this interesting— J must say interesting, although
intatuated— grou]) of gorilla girls was one who took this deter-
mination more seriously to heart than the others did. She
gave herself up to loneliness and melancholy musings. She
left the delights of caves and woods and the companionship
they bring, and wandered forth upon the plains, level and
lonely, rockless, treeless, and dismal with sunlight. Her
thought, day and night, was, " How can I rid myself of this
disgusting coat of coarse hair ? and if I could do so, should I
find favor in his eyes ?"
As she was one day near the edge of the great desert, musing
on her ever-present theme, she became gradually conscious
that she was not alone ; then that a tall personage was in her
presence ; and then that a great exhibition of fuss and feathers
■was going on before her. It was an ostrich, one of the largest
and most distinguished of his race. He had seen her frequently
come to this place, so unfrequented by her people, and walk
about it with slow and pensive air. What was her motive ?
What could it be but one > Was not he there ? There was
nothing else there but the sand and the sunlight , and yet she
came almost daily. He drew the same conclusion that the
hippopotamus did, but without equal reason or good fortune.
Under the circumstances, however, and misled as he was, what
could he do but make himself agreeable to the lady, and pay
some attention to her ? No he-creature with a spark of mascu-
line spirit in him could do less. So he began to strut up and
down before her, and to expand his wings and his tail. He ran
violently about. He lifted up his voice and squawked. He ate
sand, and, burrowing in it with his huge bill and finding the
hoof and leg-bone of a horse that had died many years before
*Seo " The Descent of Man, etc.," chapter xiv., passim ; where, however,
the reader wiU find recorded multitudinous instanoes of fickleness, faith-
lessness, and forgetfulnoss on the part of "widows;" unfeminine forward-
ness, and even of downright " seduction" on the part of matrons and even
of maidens of the bird family.
/"
%
3°
THK FAI,r, OF MAN.
w
in the desert, he brought it triumphantly, and, laying it down
at her feet, ate it up before her eyes. Could anything be more
agreeable— any attention more flattering to the female heart ?
What, then, must have been her gratification when after a few
moments she saw him again eat up one just like it ? Deeming
himself (luite irresistible after this last performance, he fluttered
directly toward her. 'I'he family of man has its stories and
traditions, all of which have some foundation in fact, but are
much magnified or perverted or misunderstood. This story of
their ancestors they tell, transferring the heroine to their own
race, and making him a male swan called Jupiter, and her a
kind of female man called Leda. According to man, the swan
was received with open arms ; but the gorilla girl fled from the
ostrich. His intentions, I have no doubt, were strictly honor-
able ; while in the man story I regret to say the Jupiter's were
not ; but they were none the less unwelcome to her. Mistaking
her flight for the coquetry of her sex, he pursued ; and although
love for another and consequent aversion to him lent her wings
he had real wings, as well as long legs, and by the use of both'
he was gaining on the object of his pursuit, when not far off
she saw the object of her afll-ctions. She sped toward him and
flung herself panting into his arms. He held her there for a
moment, and then moved, partly by gratitude for her many
services, and partly by the feeling that, although he did not
want her himself, yet, as she had thought of him, no one else
should have her, he laid her lightly down, and with a club
made such a vigorous attack upon the ostrich that the latter
soon turned and fled back to his sand, his hen, and his horse-
hoofs.*
I'
M
Tliejearnod lecturer horo gives but a feeble imitation of a passage
upon "the courtship of birds, cited in " The Descent of Man," &c., chapter
XIV., of which, widely circulated as that popular work is, I need here
reproduce only the concluding part, if, indeed, even in the interests of
scienoe, I could venture to give more :
— "elle refuse constimment ses' caresses ; les avanees emprcssoos, les
agaceries, los tournoiements, les tondres roncoulemonts, rien no pent lui
plairemlemouvoir; gonflee, boudouse, blottio dans un coin do sa prison,
elle n en sort que pour boir et manger, on pour repousser aveo une espece
ae rago des caresses devenus trop pressantes."
JUPITKR ANn LKDA.
31
Whether this incident in the history of our species is to be
altogether deplored, I do not feel competent to decide. True
the perfection of the gorilla form and the purity of its traits
were preserved We remained at the head of the animal crea-
tion, unequalled m our combination of beauty and strength •
but might we not by this proffered alliance have been elevated ?
Might we not have hoped to add to all our other superiority
he beauty and the power of wings? Might we not have
become as the angels— nay, very angels ourselves ? Might not
we, instead of poor, feeble, ])usiIlanimous man, have furnished
the traits which were to be sublimed into the forms of arch-
angels and ministering spirits ? Might not we have become
seraphs and our children cherubs ? Man has his Raplmel, as
he has his Darwin, whose imagination framed from things
actual things impossible— winged men and pin-feathered man-
children— creatures never known on Karth or in Heaven. But
the Darwin himself is my authority for telling you that, if our
I
P
$2
THK KAJ.I, OK MAN.
i
kinswoman had yielded to her winged suitor tlio Ru.hnp!
would iuuc only n- .,.dc<i to paint gorilla ,.o^ nu-tr ' ,' k J
that would have been made in his works if fe.nale caprice hi 1
nut prevented th.s apph.:ation of the princ-iple c.f se a seir-
tion ! Ih.s, however, was not to be; and that it wa not s
oc of those myster.ous dispensations at which we nu> wc de
but tcj which we are taught that we niust thankfully sul)n"i '
Ihis attair, strange to say, had a din-ct influence nth,
development of that singular and enfecb d va i"; o or
species known as Man. Our kinswoman was more set by
than ever I)e ore in her aversion to all other suitors and n he
devotion to the one object of her love. The momentarv clasn
of his arms and his defence of her against another sJilorno^t
only bound her to him more stroimlv than b.-fnr.^ l>,,
to have developed in her a strange' Lu.t ^ ^^"^
known belore in any ot our species, and which has never
appeared in any other in the drect lin^. Her Xry wander
np were now more limited in extent than they were before
kept hS'wkhm TT'% "7 ''^'^'^^'^ "f '•- ^' -
kept her within the hne of sand which she sometimes an
preached but never passed again. Yet she continuec^To mus^e
alone, and constantly upon the one theme, her strong Sck
coat of hair, now become odious to her, and how it migl tte
softened and diminished. Pining away in her despaif she
the Raphael
s. Tliink of
truthfulness,
cii|jricc had
icxual sclec-
t was not, is
uist wonder,
7 submit.
?nre in the
iety of our
3re set by it
, and in her
mtary clasp
;r suitor not
, but seems
never was
has never
iry wander-
-^ere before
the desert
etimes ap-
-'d to muse
ong, thick
t might be
;spair, she
^J^J
A NEW DEPILATORY.
33
leaned one day agamst a tree, and remained there for a long
tmie wrapped m sad reverie. Coming to herself again, .she
was about to continue her walk, when she found that she could
not move away. Her arm, from the shoulder to the elbow,
stuck tast to the tree. It was a gum-tree, and she had not
seen that a broad stream of thick, half dried gum was on that
part of the trunk against which she leaned. The hair on the
outside of her arm had bt n imbedded in the gum, which,
drymg as she leaned, held ,ier fast, a i)risoner. She looked
about for help. None was near, not even that cold and cruel
gorilla who had told her that he could not love her. Notiiing
was left but to tear herself away by main strength. Summon-
mg all her fortitude and her force, she threw herself forward
and fell upon the ground with a scream that might have been
heard afar oft", for she had torn out by the roots every hair
that had touched the tree.
For many days she suffered in her loneliness ; but her pain
passed gradually away. But then came the depressing thought
that she must now be more repulsive than before, a mutilated
creature, with a bare patch on one arm, from the shoulder to
the elbow. At first this was worse to bear than the pain of the
mjury ; but ere long she was lead from despair to hope by a
strange way of thinking which man calls reason, which I have
mentioned before, and which I am happy to say is unknown
to gorillas ; and the consecjuence of which, in this case, will
cause you all to sympathize with me in my felicitations. ' The
thought that if the object of her love longed for a female with
a coat softer and finer and sparser than his o\m, he might, a<>
she said, therefore (but who of us can tell what therefore
means ?), possibly like one better yet who had no hairy coat at
all. And she thought, too, that as she had deprived herself by
accident of a small part of her coat, she might (using again the
unmeaning word) therefore get rid of the whole of it intention-
ally by the same means. " At least," she said, " I shall be in
no worse condition than I am now, as far as he is concerned
and what do I care for the others ? And if I die, there is but
one gone that cares little to remain.'' She went to the tree.
The gum had flowed again ; and in like manner, and with like
pain as before, she bared her lower arm of hair. Thus she
■went on, week after week, as she could endure the torment
'i
34
THE FALL OF MAN.
^\t
I
i
^i;i
wtic'iiiir'™" '" "'•■''■ """'• """' '' '"'' "" "^^ '>"«' ""
her I .? r V '""•' f ■"; ■'''•■"*■ "■'""" »'"-■ ^'-'f^rcl sl,„„ d c"
sliu.MucI at the tliuu-ht or his talchi,,,- her half in'X „„ -^
a.sortofgraml llcslily ileshahillo. h-,.rt,,nc r -ore I ,.1' iJT
."-ms, that she ,„i,.|,. regain all the li el^s a d ,t ™c^
, V ^ ; ^ '^^ ''^■^'' tceling that not hinc more wns tn
"■" ; l'"l hardly had she taken afew steps when she heshatert
n« lo her " Sh^^h'adT' T^' °''"™" '^ "x a Idingr; f;
\V ith that change in her mind that made her sav " therefore "
a,>,lii,:ti„g appreh^liSn -firs?, fcs.' r"to„W iL'^h """«'■
l.OVE TRIUMPHANT.
35
He stood and looked at her, and she saw that there was no
recognition in his eyes; hut there was something else that
repaid her for that loss—admiration ; and presently he and her
heart began to dance together, lie, tin- la/y, listless fellow of
former days, leajjed and curvetted like a young antelope. He
bounded his full height into the air. he roared with th.it enchant-
ing roar of his, he beat his breast, he ran up the top of an
enormous tree, and came near killing her by flinging himself
down so close to her that had she not swayed lightly aside,
he would have dashed her to pieces. Hut never was a female
before in so precious a peril ; and as he stood before her, pant-
ing with exertion, she sidled up to him, and, laying her head
upon his shoulder, and taking his hands, she led him lightly
and tenderly over her soft, smooth limbs and body, that, all
unknown to him, had suffered such torment for his delight.
After that, as men would say, she was his'n antl he was her'n.
This is a kind of language that they call poetical.
She did not tell him that she was the .same old girl that had
made love to him before. That set ret she ke|)t very pro-
foundly and deceitfully hidden in her own bosom, until it was
brought out by another incident that has a direct bearing upon
our subject. She was just about to bring forth the first fruit
of their happiness, and he was off gathering the daintiest food
that he could find for her, when she thoughtlessly strolled near
the edge of the sandy desert, and walked along it, musing to
herself and wondering if her child would be as handsome as its
father, when suddenly she looked up, and there, at a short dis-
tance from her, stood the great ostrich who had before perse-
cuted her with his attentions. He darted toward her ; and she
fleemg as rapidly toward her cave as her condition would per-
mit, was soon met again by the same defender as before, who
this time, after a brief contest, slew the ostrich before her eyes.
The effect of this shock was that that night her child was born.
It was the most remarkable birth in the history of our race ;
yet not of our race, for it w.is rsot a gorilla she produced; and
here began the new departure. It was a male child which,
to look forward a few ye -s, had not the hind thumb of his
mother but the toe of his father, and had even less and finer
hair than he, and besides (a trait which his mother attributed
3^ Till.; |.AM, „K MAN.
obliged lo con o , ; . ' '""«» «1 '" l"n,, she was almost
hiuAo Ion. ;•,,,,'• '^. ",:'»,''''-• I'"™. Ki'-I who ha,l loved
i
had ^LXanUhe' y ,;T;'^^^^ ^^^ --^-
hind thumb like to '' . ?1 f' i'*^', ^'''''^^^ '-^"^ ^^'^'^""^ '-^
of walking, n a on . V 7 T\ •'''"' ''''''^^''^ ostricli-way
success o^lK^ , 1 , ' r'""'^' ^""'"P'^ ^t this charming
principle ot- SOX uXlin ^ ,'^:^''"f'r'"S ^"^^' of the greater
owed her hairless skin ' ^°»*^'««^'d to what artifice she
more placid and sere ! ' l '^^^'jl-^^'O"!- toward her was
hearers must have the saine Siau': 'T'^"" ^""^'^ "^X
be more or less ea«er ■ ,, Jl..?' ' -, ^ '""'"'^ '""^t always
quiet. And it any < f' , v tf • ''T ^' ''^''^^ '""''^^ «^ 1<^««
or disturbed by t e u iL ,^ '?''• '^^'^"^ ''^'^^'^ dis.satisfied
truth-fHere thee x i^ ^^^'"" "' ^'^'^ -nevitable and eternal
one roie and sh e , ".T'^l^Zr^'^??^.'''' ■^■""''^'^"^' ^"^^
be sure we are. You're ' , . ,]^'fl'^'''^ ' ^''^^'^tisfied !. To
hippopotamuses, and oslri I uV .""n T'"' ^'-'''^-«^n>ents, and
just turned the r CTlvhhn^ The males
gave their attentu.n ^ .^ \ ' f"!'; 1^'^>'"^ «'"'1^'«. ^">J then
I say, they have been dis . C 1 T'"'\ ^'^ ">"tinued]-if,
tion of this inevi a lie n , r " ' ' '" ' '''" "^'^"i^sta-
and femal.^ ore n'-. ■ • ''"^' ^" '''"^^'^ the relations of male
they expect that the n ';.;',;;!!; '■•V"'\^'^''""'/'''^ °"'>' ^^^^^^ '^'^'
pended for the gru ,' , r 'J' °^ "^^"'"^^ ^^'''^ ^"^ ^us-
absences, in the st% :' T. "' '^^'^':- , ^^"""g one of his
Mill noon ot a summer's day, she heard a faint
i
IIIK NKW FAMILY.
37
scream in the distance. But, faint as it was, it seemed unlike
those that are sometimes heard in the forest soHtudes, and yet
h'ke a sound slie remembered to have heard before, she could
not recollect when or where, in the course of a few weeks it
was explained, when one day he appeared, accompanied by
another smooth skinned gorilla girl, who she saw was cme of
those whose love he had before despised, and who was now
his wife. To be brief, he had found that of the ten who had
devoted themselves to him, and who had vowed to have no
other love, only three had yielded to the courtship of his
rivals, and the remaining six he persuaded to (pialify them-
selves for his admiration, and the nuptials which they had so
long and so eagerly coveted. They all illustrated eciually well
with his first wife the beautiful principles of development
and sexual selection, and soon he was surrounded with a large
and growing fiimily ol smooth-skinned, hind-Uiumbless, erectly-
walking children, of whom the males chielly said, " therefore,"
and the females, " 1 am ashamed."
The ajjpearance of this new family in the gorilla country
caused a profound sensation throughout our s[)ecies. The
tradition of the sea-serpent allianc:e and its deplorable conse-
quences were remembered and discussed. The conservative
feeling was fi^ly aroused. A mass meeting, in the nature of a
general cotiseil de familh\ was held ; and it was finally decided
that, to prevent confusion and the deterioration of the race
{for what consequences might not be apprehended from female
fancy for smooth-skinned, hind-thumbless lovers, who walked
like ostriches ! what wide-spread disaster might not ensue
upon the application of the principle of sexual selection under
these new circumstances !), that this wo.^' family of non-descript
creatures, who, whatever they might be, were certainly not
gorillas, shoul 1 be driven from our borders. Whatever might
have been th • wishes of the new family in this regard, they
(most of them being yet of tender years) could not resist such
a determinate m on the part or a whole tribe, and they sub-
mitted. Th : world was before them v/here to choose ; and
they chose t ) go northward toward the borders of the great
sea. Ere long they were seen moving in that direction, the
father of the family lounging listlessly in his old way in advance,
t
':-■
^
1
3S
THE FAr.I, OK MAN.
^^^^::^!::!::^^^'^::rr':;'7 -'' ^-^^ ^^ the
"^'■gration. Thts as Z firsf / • '^"".^ ^'^"^ ^''^'^ ^he first
and ,)erverted into Ttale which hi n '''°>'' ^''^^ <^"^l^odied
Expulsion from Paradise;' '''''''' ^"^ ^^^" ^'-^^'^^ " ^'^^e
spS::,thS;^^iXSt'd '"-^^^^f^"^ ^' this new
produced the lUv i w.s 1^ ' . •'"''',"' ^'"^"''^'"^ ^an and
houses, which, as you \J^ k ow n ^^ •" wh,t ^hey call huts or
cave, very hot andTy Ld Zt '' ^'""^ °^ •'^'"''^"' '"^^^^^^^
men like the Danv^i^'nv i "'' ''^'''"'''t the air. This,
against. the .^J^™;;^^ dr.::^th:r"Tr^ ^^^^^^^^ ^'^^-
neccess tv. On th^ ,-^„f ^^atiier. 1 here was no such
trivance whici has 'mde !/',.:' '' '''' "^^' "^ ^his con
live naturally like is ancestor H '',?'"''" ^^'^''^'^' ""'-^l'^"-^ to
go on year iter year and ^^n. r ^°"'^-^' '""^ "'^''ged him to
impediment to inSiZl^ , ''^'°" ''^'^er generation, adding
that he may u, p ;tSe 'l wllf^'^^^'"^^ ^° incumbrance^
by year, till at la t-th^^^^^^^^^ T^/JP^" hi,n yea;
one of his species hanniesfwh.i,'^ '''^^^ure ! he deems that
occasion o\ carl'Z'Z^e^^^^^^ that is,most
of the only good (uialitv f nn. f ^^"^ ^^ ^^^t deprived
it would ife'. r.rc;^"ttyoX^rerni'""^'^^^
with you when food bernm.rc ■ ^^ y^"' C'^v<^ around
to go after the food a^d S^rSn^lo'^r' °'^'""^ ^^^^^^
self-delusion, he now b iWs T nf '^ f "^^^ ' ''^"^' '" his
material, and fills it o fi^U of a I k ndT f '-'"'^ immovable
highest praise of one of Li i. , ?^ ^'"^-^'•''^cks that his
filled wilh all the i^dern nconw''''^^' "''^""^ '^ ^hat it is
in disorder he Im n r-T inconveniences ; and, to keep these
-horn h "cil s ^aient' rrand""'"^^'^* "' ^'^ ^^^ «P-i^*
plumbers. These ^^^"1^^;%;"' '""^^"' '-^"^
family through some operatrofZ . T "^"'"f "'^o his
with the bird family ; f^r S are a IH ,°^ f '^"^'' '^'^^tion
bills; and of Ihcm ail ] nn/TM .u ''^^^"^ --^'^"-^^^ft^^^^^
once the most d e' dfu nL n "^ ^^^ Ph-mbers s bill is at
^ As I have t"' iMu^^
^r protection agaiLt'cSd^^l^e^i^S^-SSlSS
THK KIRST noUSK.
39
The
Many generations after the first migration a female of the new
family was born much lighter in rolor than the original rich black
tint of this species ; and when she grew up, she i)reserved this
unpleasant peculiarity. Hut, strange to say, she was liked by
one of the largest and strongest of her si)ecies, who took her
for his third wife, and made much of her. She, observing that
things turned black in the sun, took a notion that unless she
could be protected against his rays she also would become
black, and lose the peculiar charm to which she owed her
marriage to so desirable a husband, and his very marked ad-
miration and attention ; and yet she could not licar a cave ;
it was altogether too damp and gloomy, and, indeed, very
unbecoming to the complexion. She therefore insisted with
rnuch pouting and sulkiness, including some secret slaps and
pinches of the other wives' children, and alternate fits of
temper and sickness that turned the family topsy-turvy (the
good old gorilla family discipline, ladies, which jjcrmitted the
use of a stick not larger than the husband's hind thumb, having
sadly deteriorated among these degenerate creatures), that
if her husband really loved her and cared anything to preserve
the beauty he professed so much Ui admire, he would make
something that would protect her skin against the sun.
After long cogitation he produced a wonderfiil structure.
He took three dry saplings, about one half-again taller than,
himself, and putting one end of each in the ground, about his'
own length a])art, he joined their tops, and upon the outside
of these he piled dried twigs and broad leaves, leaving an
opening in the front, ^lo this he led his now radiant beauty,
and she took jjossession with great glee and greater pride.
At first she stayed in it all the time, night and day. She
allowed no one else but her husband to enter. The other
wives affected great scorn of her and her rubbish-hole, as they
called it, which they would not go near or seem to notice ;
but if their children came to peep in, she drove them away
with blows and sticks and stones. It was her delight to sit
just within the doorway, and nod with condescending alTability
to the other females who came to see the great curiosity; and
they came ftom miles around.
Her pride, and the airs she took upon herself, set the whole
female community agog. She was a wife for whom the
r"
40
THE FALL OF MAN.
! i
females on it were too nl^nf' V^ ^^^ ?^'^'' ''^"^ ^^e other
course of a few d.ystheTst l^Ll"' '° ^^""^ "P^"" I" ^^^
uncomfortable. ^Ve' P onrr of hT" '" '""^^ ^'^^^ ^^^^
matrons-an exc amatinn Lm I ^ i- .f^^'^^med one of the
approval.] She snaTiked h.r .^ was followed by a hum of
because they were bovs ind Wt\^ r '"^er heart, the boys,
girl, because she was^ hts favo^t ^^H !^''7 ^f'^^'"' '-^"^ ^^e
She took no notice of her hZT^ f ""^ ^°°''''' ^'"^^ ^^^^^elf
silence ["Served him ri2" ' ' ''"i P"'"'^^ ^'"^ '" g^"™
this (mildly contin "d he lee urS'slf^^^'^f "^^^-"'' "^
tact and wisdom of her sex for LT^^ ^''^ proverbial
that he passed more tinL'tL'nter tth^r^rrf ^^"
evenmg, when he had hmuahi- u ^t last, one
flung if dow„ umaSeJ 3 'em i„ra' S o^' '■™",' *^
She screamed, she chiftprrH Til i u . , °^ convulsion.
gnashed her teWhranlrngtrtfuu^^^^^ 'Tf^' ^"^
and tossing her arms about At fi s t h^ ^^^""d kicking
administer to her the remMv v\ f ?^ ^^^^ mclined to
children; but, as he 'ealTv W^^^^ ^''"^ ''^PP^'^^ ^« the
what wa^ the matL^ It Xtt th' r" 1" ""'^'' "^^ ^^^^^^
more screams, more kicking 1. ' « ^^K'"'' ^"^^e^. only
At, last, however,'" cam ?<"! ma"tS° h'' """^ f °"'
was the matter!" (She was -.^ huT ^^"^ ^^"ipJexion
"How could he expect Ser not to f ' ^.^^^^^'Je's back.)
as she was from the sun? C .^ i't. ^^'' ""Protected
matter ? What did Z V ^^'^^ ^'^ ^''''' complexion
not go to h?s''of er life?'%^,ZmV ''\ ^'^ ^"
for her, where she cnnlrl .,V J "^"^"^ ^^''^ ^ hut built
The coWqLnce ladl%o/alf kT" ^L'^"^' °"^ ^^^^•'
hut, in the door^f STe satlT-K ^^' ^''° ^^^^ ^^^
And of this the consequence t^th 7 ^h "°'! '" ''^^ ^i'"-
plexion also needed nrnterHnn a ^ '^^''"^ "^^^^^'« "^om-
hut, and sat with h^r ^T^ %' ^r^etp^tlff '^^
ss:rj?=s iSi^!:^:ssr¥ F^'^^^
Would a husband of any St no, ' '" ^uts and sniff ?
cared anything for his wivSl^Xre' thS^ .tt"^^^^^^^^^^
^
DEVELOPMENT OF COMPLEXION.
41
^
outbreak of complexion fever among all the females. Such
a thing as a complexion was never before heard of; but
now ever}'- female had one ; and nothing would preserve it,
or save her from convulsions, but a hut for its protection.
And it was remarkable that the blacker the female the more
sensitive she became on this subject, and the more imperatively
necessary that she should be provided with shelter. And so,
ere long, it came to pass that a hut ceased to be any distinc-
tion whatever, and that, when all the females got what they
Avanted, the chief value it was to have had in their eyes was
entirely gone, and it would only have been a mark of destitution
to be without one. The thing having become a necessity, and
a matter of course, the males, to save trouble, made huts large
enough for all their females; and as time went on they plastered
the leaves and twigs with clay. The males passed more and
more time with their females in these contrivances, and became
themselves, of course, more and more effeminate. And thus
it was that this new species of our family became more and
more a house-dwelling species.
It is well known to you that some members of our kindred,
although degenerate family, man, live upon the water, and go
about upon it in a kind of cave with wings. Such folly is
incomprehensible to a thorough-bred and high-toned gorilla,
who is eminently conservative, and likes to stand upon a solid
foundation ; and how any people who are in the slightest
degree connected with us can seek, or endure, a life upon that
shifting and cruel element that is the proper habitation of fishes
and crocodiles and hippopotamuses, we cannot surmise, or
could not, were it not for our newly-acquired knowledge of the
v/orking of the principle of sexual selection, that great newly-
found key to all the mysteries of life.
The first sailors were not gorillas, or their puny descendants,
but squirrels ; and it was through the squirrel that the sailor
clement was transposed into man's nature. It happened many
ages ago, at least as many ages as had passed since the occur-
rence of the events which I have narrated and explained, that
a community of the new species dwelt on the borders of a
great lake. In search of food, or other purposes, they often
had need to go from one side of the lake to the other, and
42
li
jj
I
THE FALL OF MAN.
^^Z:^:''!^'!ttr ^"""^' ^^-"- ^^ey could
way" But one dala flmat virT'/?^ ^^^^^ ^^' "° °ther
her youngest child half a ound Vh° T"^ ^''". ^^''^^^ *« ^^^^y
or three limes, sa^v a suuZ^f t "'" ?^ ^^^"^ ^g^'" two
into the water He had sha, 'd'T^ f 'f SM^'^^e of bark
'taking the sides even and tSenH^' bark with his teeth,
was about twice the lenrrfh nf f ^o^^ewhat pointed. It
nearly the height of thsffn ale 7 '"" •^°f>^' ^"^ ^^at was.
the puny thin|s they are in thet' '''"'"■"^^ ''''^ then not
had launched his bark he .^^ ^^"g^^^'-^te days. When he
the middle, and he^.' uddenlv''?v'Vl"''^ ^'"^^^'^ ^^^» in
blew gently from thT shorf ' /u'f^^'^ '"'^- ^^^^' ^^^^^
water, and gradually across it he J? "^ ^'"' °"' "P^" the
crew, and passenger; and she saw h?'"!,'' "'"''' ^"^'' ^"^der,
speck upoi the opposite si ^ .. ^'^PPe^^. a bounding
too, had a long, flrbushv tail hf f he wished that she,
dreadful tail-period of o ,r L^ ' ^"^ ^^^ traditions of the
her family, ind she slu^nk ToTthe"'.?'°", ^^"^^^^^ ^''^
thought that two or three Tar J n?i ^ ^^'°"^^'^- ^^^^n she
as the tail, or better ^ palm-leaves would do as well
doln to^he Irt^lpe^d t'l"" ^"r ^'^\^"^' -^' --"g
place upon it she hoS f ^ ^'^'^ ,°^ ^'''^' ^"^ taking her
more bUly on H.^^^^^^^^^^ The wind Vw
delighted at^oon findrn/ herself ^ the other, and she was
lake. Eut as she went of and L i '"'"^ '?^^ °"^ "P^" the
surprised to find tha her bkrk tobbled'?' ^"''^r'^' '^'' ^^^
even from end to end The .1 T ,''^^ ^° ^^^e, and
alternately to rise up ^"to the he ^'^ ""^ l^'' ^'^^ '^^^^^
centre of the earth S ?, ^^ ^"^ ^^^cend to the
backward. Ere lon/h^/ ^'-'''''^ ^"^'''''''^ '^^nd pitched
disgust, and tLseito'fSsgusTS ?T.^?°'^ '''' ^^^ ^^
her stomach. The sensZn w ''^1^ ^'^"^ ^'^' head to
She felt herself g row g" ee^" j^ou .l"^"""^ T'^ '^"^ awful,
though she was, she had no conce n ^l' Tl"^" ' ,""^' ^^"^^^^
appearance. Each hair on her head tl'""'i^''^ f ""''-' '^ her
neighbour. She broke in m . ^f ^""""^^ *° shrink from its
and the palm-leaves Vent ov'rboaTd'N.''"-^';"^^^ ^^'^^^
-ght die; and suddenl/s^e^to^-^, ^^^XZ
^
f
«r
f
THE FIRST SEA SICKNESS.
4S
hearty breakfast she had eaten, to set her up for her voyage,
was cast out into the treacherous waters — an awful catrstrophe I
She gave herself up for lost, and without strength or will to
cling to her bark, flung herself along it, and hoped that the
end would soon come. It did come, but not as she expected
that it would. Being no longer able to keep her balance, she
leaned too much on one side, just as a large wave struck the
bark upon the other, and she was upset into the water. The
shock revived her, and, being not yet very far from land, she
was just able to swim back to the shore whence she had
started. Creeping up on the bank, she sat a while musing in
the sun, and then went meekly home.
Thinking over her adventure, she compared her performance
with that of the squirrel, and came to the conclusion that her
race needed the infusion of some new blood to fit them for the
struggle for existence on the water-side, and — loathsome thought
— upon the water. She threw herself in the way of the squirrel,
and, being a fascinating female, soon brought him to that state
of mind in which he felt he could not be happy without her,
and of course that she could not be happy without him.
Indeed, she avowed her admiration for him openly, but told
him that his beauty had but one drawback — his tail. She could
not endure a gentleman with a tail. This confession cast a
gloom upon their intimacy, for his tail was his pride. But she
was inexorable, and one day he appeared tailless. After this
she had two children, born, like her others, tailless, but, unlike
their elders, they showed an early inclination to sail chips in
puddles ; and when they were well grown she took them down
to the lake-side with her husband. They immediately fashioned
a piece of bark, boarded it, set up the palm-leaf sails, and flew
across the water, untroubled by any of those dreadful symp-
toms from which she had suffered. The head of the family
gazed with wonder, which he loudly expressed, that two of his
children should perform such an unprecedented feat ; but she
sat in silence, musing doubtless upon this new triumph of the
great principle of sexual .selection, and thinking of himself as
the mother of all them that go down to the sea in ships, and do
their business upon the great waters. She had never men-
tioned her ifitimacy with the squirrel, and soon afterward
picked a quarrel with him and cut his acquaintance as short as
he had cut his tail.
^
■)t f
44
THE FALL OF MAN.
ing'^-™etforI""^;;'H "t' """T" °I """' '""^ thumb, .hink-
thf la" ,h; r, ili,' ™ :f S"' PT''^.?0 »■'"' huts for
rapid^nd it requireTbu a shnr '^'^'I'^'^'l^'' became very
some .Jes u A ,„e de;:rctl' ^/^^ (vtSe '"' Ho"
mt^ture o. monkey and donkey wLoh^ Teed ,°o. Tell you' °l
never foui
not disap]
can move
dimini.she
man rccoj
who ever
race, 1 as
knows th;
and sharl
among tl^
morseless
Does not
a lion in
by consec
to sleep 1
not all th
of the pri
I cannot
gorilla ki
merely th
How r
not say.
of those i
more dis
front got
by their
crowd, I
two of i
minutes
disturbin
At thi;
tlic learn
very diffe
portly ni
with inc
kindlier,
CONCLUSION.
45
never found in our branch of the family. The very ears have
not disappeared ; for the Darwin himself ssys that some men
can move their ears, and that length of the organ has only been
dimiiiislied somewhat and turned down at the top. Does not
man recognize this, and often call his fellow-mhn an ass? But
who ever applied that term to a gorilla ? And was one of our
race, I ask, ever designated as Old Hoss ? But every man
knows that some of his fellow-men are geese, and vultures, and
and sharks, and foxes, and jackals? Are there not pigeons
among them ? Yes, 1 )arwin, pigeons whom they pluck re-
morselessly. And is n(jt the plucker frequently a jail-bird ?
Does not every countryman of the Darwin believe that there is
a lion in his breast, the rousing of which would be followed
by consequences so dreadful, that of late years he allows him
to sleep under the most irritating provocations ? And does
not all this bear witness to various and numberless applications
of the principle of sexual selection during past ages ? Frankly,
I cannot tell. It may be .so, and it may not. The wisest
gorilla knows so little that what we call knowledge is often
merely the name we give to ignorance. And —
i
How much longer the speaker continued in this vein I can-
not say. But as the audience began to stir uneasily, and many
of those in the back rows went away, and even some of the
more distinguished and self-possessed of the females in the
front got up, turned their backs on the lecturer, and, followed
by th>.ir attendant males, pushed their way out through the
crowd, I was sure that the lecture was wtthin a sentence or
two of its end, and if those persons had waited but a few
minutes they might have avoided slighting the speaker and
disturbing their fellow-hearers.
At this stage of the reading, I, too, left the place suddenly,
the learned lecturer still speaking ; but my motive was of a
very different kind. During the lecture I noticed a large and
portly middle-aged gorilla look at me from time to time, and
with increasing fre(iuency. Each time, too, the glance was
kindlier, and at last was accompauied by a nod, a beck, or a
.#
46
THK FALL OF MAN.
lem.le tancy, the experiences of the sex related in if 1. fif. ^
o awaken the instinct of imitation n hf fc- nUe 'b ea^t 1
thought of Darwin's book, which I ha.l re 1 befo e ^ s fm. V
Africa, and I remembered the dreadful tords!^^^^. )'"''S^"!;
In vain. Glancmg backward as I ran, I sal her Sdilv an
s'ee°medTn ^"^^^^y^ "^^ding and' beckoning S^vhat
seemed to me a bathsome leer. At last she came so near Iha
my pursue, it would a. l™a;t eZag an^c^^'^Ji't' "u'.'^'jf' =
I faced her, she rose, and laying her hands upon he breatt
■MMji ih .
■WJ iii Wi i miM l llimDMI
CUTTINC; A COUNTRY COUSIN.
47
bellowed out her admiration. I took steady aim ac;oss my
left arm and fired. She sprang into the air, evidently hit, and
as she came down I fired again, with like effect, and she fell to
the ground.
I gazed a moment at my prostrate and dying admirer ; and
seeing that she was incapable of rising or doing me injury, I
approached, with a certain feeling of pity and remorse, to look
at her closely. And then I found that my terror, although
justified, was entirely misplaced. I had mistaken the sex of
my pursuer : my enamored female was a male — an enraged
male, of course, and I was saved, not from marriage but from
death. But no ; faint, and dying fast, he turned and held out
his hand to me. " Cousin, what made you run ? Why did
you hurt me so ?" he said. I answered with a feeling of shame
that I hope never to have again : " Because I thought you
were a lady that wanted to marry me." " Oh, no," he said,
with feeble and interrupted breath, " I only thought you looked
48
THE FALL OF MAN.
something like a friend of ours who was here a few years ago ;
and I wanted to take you to a place where there are some
cocon-nut trees and a fresh spring, and we'd talk this matter
over. And let me tell you something," he said, drawing my
ear down near his lips. " Don't go on supposing that every
female that may look at you pleasantly and seek your society
has selected you. Remember me kindly to Du Chaillu.
Adieu ! "
He died ; and I walked slowly on, musing upon my adven-
ture, a more modest, if not a wiser man, and did not quicken
my i)ace until I remembered that I was charged with Living-
stone's message to Murchison.
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