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TESTIMONIALS.

I mm >

Thk following Tcstimoniiils as to the Httra<>tiveness nnd real
value of the a<u;onipanyiiig work, were received by the
Publishers before the printed slieets were placed in the hands
of the binder :

Fram I{kv. J. K. Ooodihch, Professw of RkHm-ic and,
Emjlish Litrrature and of Latin.

UxivRUsiTY OF Vkrmokt, March 19, 1874.
I have load the Rev. L. N. 15KAunKv's MS., "Sinritual
Struggles of .^ Roman Catholic," with much interest — an in-
terest which increased as the narrative advanced. The work
is well adapted not only to enlighten the Protestant as to the
substance and methods of Romanism, but also to help him to
appreciate the religious convictions and mental and moral
strivings of his fellow-Christians of the Roman CJatholic faith.
To the Roman Catholic also, who may read it, it cannot but
prove an easy and agreeable introduction to the simplicity and
freedom of the Cospel, as taught in the Reformed Churches.
The volume wouM be a desirable addition to the Sunday-
school library. The structure of the work, consisting, as it
does, of a series of conversations, seems to commend it s))e-
cially to the persual of the young.

From Rkv. E. Wkxtwokth, Editor ** Ladies Ripotfilonj."
The "Spiritual Straggles of a Roman Catholic," by the
Rev. Louis N. Beaudry, of the Troy Conference, is just the
thing I have been long looking for from Mr. Beaudry's pen.
I have known him intimately in Conference relation for seve-
ral years ; have heard portions, here and there, of his intensely
interesting personal history, and have felt that he ought to
write it out for the benefit of the woild. This task he has at

TESTIMONIALS,

last accomplished in most fascinating style- -a stj'le that cannot
fail to be attractive to readers of all classe*:. Coming, as his
personal experience and revelations do, immediately at the
heels of the Gladstone controver^-^" in England, they cannot
fail to shed floods of light upon the Roman question. His is
no testimony fished up from the minds of the past, but we
have before us a living witness to the peculiarities of Rome
against which our fathers protested three centuries ago, against
which old-world statesmen and governments are protesting
with emphasis to-day, and against which it is the duty of every
lover of freedom in thought, government, and religion, and
every lover of his country, morality, and human progress, still
to protest, till the " Man of Sin " be dethroned and destroyed.

From Rev. Joseph Cook.

Your book dazzles me by the ingenuity of its plan. The
narrative is developed with dramatic skill, and draws one on
irresistibly. Even the argumentative portions appear to me
likely to command attention from your younger, and they
certainly will delight your older, readers. You will be sure
to be read, and, I hope, translated. In French, German, and
especially in Italian, this book would do good.

Next in merit to the i^lan is, in my opinion, the style. I
do not mean to flatter when I say, I admire exceedingly its
clearness, precision, ease, and grace.

From Rev. Joseph E.'King, D.D.

Having been premitted to read from advanced sheets the
"Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic," by Rev. Louis N.
Beaudry, I am prepared to say that this little volume should
be in every Sunday-school in the entire Protestant Church.

Its plot is in,2:i^nious, its statement of facts and doctrine
discreet and lucid, its argument free from extravagance and
bigotry, its spirit admirably charitable ; and the reader is
drawn on from chapter to chapter with increasing fascination
of interest to the end, and then regrets there is not another
volume of it.

In the war of evangelical Christianity with papal corrup-

TESTIMONIALS.

Ill

tioiis, the press has as yet issued no such telling "hand-gre-
nade " as this volume.

Tut into the hands of a bewildered Catholic at that critical
moment when he is mortified with the discovery that the
morals of Protestants are superior to those of any Catholic
of Ids acquaintance, it may be expected to work the miracle
of disenchanting him of his blind bigotry. From that time
we shall find him accessible to Gospel truth. I trust the book
may be blessed to many thousands.

From Rev. Washington Frothinoham.

I have read this volume with intense interest. Its merits
are rare and peculiar. It differs from everything in previous
existence. Protestants generally take an external view of
Komanism. This is a revelation of its errors and dangers from
the inside. No Romanist 3an refute its statements. The per-
sonal narrative is one of striking character. Its honesty of
purpose is transparent. Its style is fresh. Its chief claim
rests upon its absolute truth, and this it possesses to such a
degree as to deserve a place among the best reading of the
age.

From Kkv. James iM. KiN<i, D.D., Pastor of St. John's M. E.
Clianh, JVcir York (Jitij.

1 have read tlie a<lvaiice she(!ts of the bocMc published by
Nelson & Phillips, entitled "Spiritual .Struggles of a Roman
Catholic," by Rev. L. N. Beaudry. I have been greatly inte-
rested and instruc .ed. The l)ook is written in a conversational
style. It deals kindly with the deluded, and puts facts in
such form as to lead by convincing the judgment. The writer
has had such rare personal experience, and such cogent reasons
for study, that his utterances have a right to be considered
authoritative. It is a luxury to find a converted Romanist
dealing with the deceive 1 followers of Romanism with a charity
that wins, instead of wich a severity that repels. Good service
will be done for Christianity if Mr. Beaudry's book shall have
an extensive circulation.

TJuSTlMuXlA LS.

From Ukx. Martin E. Cady, A.M., Prinripal of Troi/ Con-

fcrnici'. Acadnay.

I have very carefully exHinincd the proof-sheets of Rev.
Louis N. Beiuuiry's new book, entitled "Spiritual Struggles."
It is the experience of one struggling out of Honianisni into
Protestantism. The candour with which the author deals with
Konianism will commend this v(dume to every truth-loving
person.

The plan of the book is very happily conceived, presenting
the narrative and th(^ arguments, if they may be calhid such,
in the form of iamiliar conversation. It is to be hoped that
the book may have a wide circulation, especially in Roman
Catholic communities, for it cannot fail of accomplishing a
good work.

From. Rkv. (.". \{. Dunton, Pmf. in Troij Confcrcncr Academy.

I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed your last book,
*' Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic" I read it from
the first to the last page with a constantly deepening interest.
Its circulation among our youth could not but prove a valuable
service to Christianity.

From Rev. E. A. Whittieu, Evamjclid.

1 have just completed the reading of "Sjjiritual Struggles
of a Roman Catholic," andean most cheerfully commend the
book to all.

The work progresses in interest as you advance from chapter
to chapter, unfolding the numerous errors of Romanism in
such a light, and with such a spirit, as cannot fail to commend
it to all candid minds.

>Vom Rev. William Butlki!, \yA).

The most (Candid, intelligent, and chaiitable expos6 of the
points involved in this controversy.

[Dr. Butler has chosen this book, out of the mass of litera-
ture on this subject, to be translated and published in Spanish,
as a standard work for the permanent use of his missions in
Mexico. — Editor.]

TESTIMOXIALS.

From Talmagk's " (.'hristian at Work:'

Tlie Rev. ijouis N. Hfaudiy, n convertt^d Hoiiianist, ami
ft)V luaiiy years "an intelligent, i)iotis, iitwl useful Christian
minister," has j)ro(lu('eil in this work a tai'-, .andiil ami cha-
ritable exhibition ot the peculiar errors through which Honian-
ists are compelled to struggle in order to get into the light of
Bible Christianity. We have read the work, expt.'cting to iind
it disfigured hy blotches of passion or deformed l)y spasnib of
anger, but are happy to say that it is entirely free from all
language that can well give offence. Of course it oi)ens the
system of Komanism so that all mav see it as it is, in its or-
ganized and artimilated forces, as they act upon the minds of
their victims. It has been so well contrived as a system, the
nughtiest ever made, for the enslavement of the human intel-
lect, that it is indeed hard to esca[ie when once within its toils.
Vlv. Beaudry, in a simple, animated, and charming style, full
of French vivacity and yet niosl earnest in purpose, has given
us a narrative of hardships, struggles, and difficulties through
which he passed to the peace of a well-assured hoj)e. The
work is written in a conversational manner, as though it had
been spoken to friends eager to learn the story of its author's
life. //>, do not remember to have seen a volume better Jilted
than this for nniiersal circvlation amancf Protestants ami Ro-
manists. Thert! are very many Romanists dissatisfied with
the religion they have inheritel yet they do not like to cast it
off until they see what they can get in exchange. A kind,
temperate, truthful little work like this would be of great ser-
vice to such, provided they are able to read it. Then, too,
Protestants may learn from these pages what are some of the
serious difficnilties with which conscientious Romanists must
contend in any efforts they make toward ])ersonal emancipation.

From " The Methodist (Quarterly Review."
This is one of the many books bearing on the Romish (ques-
tion, and, in not a few respects, is one of the hest. It is the
work of a convert from Romanism, and in its tracing of the
great transition is a true autobiogra]jhy. The author was born

TESTIMONIALS.

in Vermont, but his juircnts were FiPnch Canadiuns, devotedly
attached to the Koniaii Catholic. Chiin.h, and diligont in incul-
cating its princi|d('s and practices ujion their numerous chil-
dren. He was convinced of the errors of Konie, and converted
to the true Catholic faith, wlien about twenty years of age. The
author's early training gives him a knowledge of the machin-
ery of the I'apal Church, its forms and ceremonies, its me-
thods of argument and poimlar appeal. Moreover, lie under-
stands the supeistitions and the prejudices, the thousand ties,
strong, and yet by outside observers dimly seen, which bind
to the hopes, the fears, and the beliefs of childhood and youth,
and resist the introduction of clearer light. The story is given
in the form of Sunday afternoon conversations with the
author's children, and an occasional visitor. There is inter-
woven throughout a considerable amount of information in
regard to Rome and its errors, and yet there is no bitterness,
nor spirit of strife. The style is animated ; and by the intro-
duction of various characters, each thinking and talking from
his or her own standpoint, the conversation becomes life-like
and real, and the reader learns without the labour of acquisi-
tion. It is a book for our Sabbath-schools and young people
generally.

From " Tlie N. Y. Christian Advocate.''^

Here is a book that quietly answers a thousand questions that
Protestants are continually asking with respect to the Romish
system and practice, and with a full admission of all the excel-
lent things that Romanism holds in common with the univer-
sal Church, Mr. Bcaudry was once a Roman Catholic, honest
and sincere, and is now a useful and beloved minister in the
Troy Conference. In pleasant Sunday afternoon conversations
in his own family he tells the story of his life, in response to
an inquiry' of his daughter, bringing out not only his own
personal experience, with its successive steps and the influence
that led to his conversion, but the grounds of the faith and
usages that he abandoned. Events have turned public atten-
tion to Romanism in some of its aspects of public danger, and

TESTIMONIALS.

Vll

this little book is calculated to show it as a soul-ensnaring
system. It ought to be widely rend. Its sjjirit is one of
Christian tenderness, and its style so simple and easy that old
and young will find it pleasant to read.

Froyn *' The New Orlrav^ Christian Advocate."

This work is better for its purpose than a learned and ela-
borate treatment in a theological way. It has the freshness of
actual experience, and the fascination of a story, while it em-
braces the most salient points of the controversy with Papal
error and superstition. Our Protestant readers will find it a
book full of interest and instruction, and it will be found an
excellent work to put into the hands of persons leaning to Ro-
man Catholicism who are willing to read and be informed.

From *' Zion's Herald,'' {Boston, Mass.)

In a story form, with much literary grace, rather than in
the monotonous record of chronological incidents, the writer
presents his early doubts, difficulties, reasonings, conflicts, and
triumphs, as he emerged from the bonds of a supen-;titious
formalism into light, ti-ust, and peace of the Gosj)el. It is an
excellent volume to circulate, and should be translated into
the modern European languages. It will be an elo(juent,
although silent, evangelist.

From " The Rutland {Ft.) Herald.''

Mr. Beaudry's style is simple and vivacious, calm and dig-
nified. He tells a plain story, void of j)assion and unmarred
by any language which could give offence.

From " The Religious Herald," {Hartford, Conn.)

The book is interesting, and far more reliable than some of
our best stories ; it is, in fact, a series of conversations between
the author and members of his family. We took it up for
family reading, and could hardly relinquish it until read
through. It is of value to Protestants, and should be read by
all before they consider themselves competent to speak upon
this subject. In fact, we know of no class of readers to whom

Vlll

TESTIMONIALS.

it would not l)t* intorestiiig. It is a living witness to the trutb
tlu; Popish Church still holds, not sparingly pointing out its
errors, and pronijitly and boldly holding up erroneous views
held by I'rotestunts concerning this Church.

No Uoniiini.st can refute its statements ; in I'act, several
staunch Konuinists are introduccid as characters in the plot of
the story. It is furthermore lull of charity for the errors of all
men. God's service will surely be done by an extensive circu-
lation of the work. It should go into every Sabbath -school iu
the lard. It should b<! in every family, especially those em-
ploying lionianist domestics. Most of our best servants would
read the W(jrk and be much protit»'d by the same.

From " TIic Rirhmond (Fa.) Christiav Advocate.'"

This is a timely book, and we hope will do much toward
showing the true character ami aims of the Konuinists, The
style is pleasing. The points of difference between Protestants
and Catholics are strongly and clearly brought out, and the
very language of Catholic vniters is given, so that there can be
no charge of niisstatement. We hope this little book will be
extensively read. It must do good.

From *^ L^Avrorr,^' (French Prof csfauf Jl'trkf,/, ^fon(r(•aI,

Canada.)

This work, written in the form of conveisations, is as
admirable for its style as for the Christian spirit which cha-
racterizes it. It brings forth the principal errors of the i^omish
Church with clearness, without doing violence, however, to
the religious sentiments of its l^omish readers. By means of
this book — unique of its kind — Mr. Beaudry has rendered a
great service to the cause of the Gospel. Every Protestant en-
gaged in evangelizing his Konian Catholic neighbours will find
this work of inestimable value.

From " Tlie Ladies' lleposifory."

Mr. Beaudry promises to continue the conversations with
his children at some future tinu'. Should he do so, we
cordially ho])e that the generous reception accorded to the

TESTIMONIA L^.

present interosting work may induce liini to plac'c another
volunip in the hands of the pulilishorH. The book before us
breathes a catholicity of si»irit rarely witnessed in those who
have become converts to ii faith not theirs by birthright.
** Spiritual Striiggles " is no misnomer, liove for the Homish
Chun'h ; a sincere belief in hei' infalliliility ; a desin; to prove
the foundation of his faith, conil)ined with an ardent affection
for his mother, caused our author weary months of painful
wat(!hings, fastings, and prayers, ere he was willing to yiehl
•obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

(t 'p

here

From " Thr N. >'. J Jail 1/ IFUm'ss-r

This book meets a felt want in tlie (Jhristian world,
are," as Professor Hawley remarks in his preface, "many
volumes purporting to be narratives of personal exix-ricnce and
revelations of Catholic atrocity, but the style and spirit in
which they are commc'.ily written preclude their wide circula-
tion and impede their usefulness."

The gentle spirit of charity in which this memoir is written,
the full concession of sincerity to priests and [)eop]e, the story
of the agony and indecision through which its subject passed,
all fit it to soften, impress, and i>repare the mind for a thought-
ful discussion of the points of controversy, making it at the
same time a most desirable book to place in the hands of young
Protestants. The evident truthfulness and(;ircumstantiality of
the narrative will interest old and young alike.

From " The Morning Star.''

"Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic " gives an account
of the experience of Kev. Louis N. Beaudry in emerging from
the traditional errors and leligious superstitious of Romanism
to the liberties of the gospel of Christ. The author has been
for some time an accepted preacher of the Protestant faith, and
in comparing the two religions he tlraws on an ex[»erieuce
which in both cases has been deep and valualde. It throws
oonsiderable light on liuestions now agitating the j)U^!ic
mind.

TluSTlMONIALS,

From *' The Canadian Methodist Magazine.*'

The spirit of this book is admirable. The author brings no
railing accusation. He writes more in sorrow than in anger,
and on controversia' points cites the authority of recognized
Romish manuals of religion. He points out many excellence*
in the Romish system, and some things worthy of Protestant
imitation, especially the sedulous religious training of the
young in the tenets of the Church. It is this that makes it so
difficult to overcome the influence of these teachings, which
have become enfibred in the very soul. The religious struggles
oi those who do break through these influences, and assert
their unshackled liberty of conscience and responsibility to
God alone, are oftentimes exceedingly severe. All the mechan-
ical religious exercises that the author underwent brought no
peace to his awakened conscience. The wearing of scapulars,
performing of penances, fre([uent confession and frequent
communion, did not heal the rankling wound he felt in his
soul. It was only the application of the balm of Gilead and of
the blood that cleanseth, that made him whole.

From " The Christian Guardian,^' {Toronto.)

The book is written in an admirable spirit, and is calculated
to do much good. It brings no railing accusation against
Rome, but simply tells how one who was caught in the toils of her
superstitions struggled into the liberty of the Gospel. Mr.
Beaudry was the son of French Canadian parents, and himself
long resided in Lower Canada. The book illustrates the
workings of the mysteiy of iniquity in a very instructive
manner. The very pillars of our commonweal are imperiled
by this system, which possesses such political power and such a
comprehensive organization. Every Christian and patriot may
learn lessons of deepest importance by the study of the
presentation of the Romanism here set forth.

From *' The Canadian Spectator,'* {Montreal.)

The Rev. Mr. Beaudry is a convert from Romanism, who,
unlike most "verts," is not given over to the "odium theolo-
gicum " in discussing the tenets of his former faith iu com-

TESTIMONIALS.

parison with Protestantism, but presents what lie now con-
ceives to be its errors in a manner that is remarkable for its
fairness and kind treatment. The story of his difficulties and
the way in which he found an escape from them is told ia a
scries of conversations with his family and some friends, which
from their easy style avoid the obtrusiveness of personal narra-
tion, and awake interest in the application made by the hearers
of Mr. Beaudry's experience. Not the least valuable part of
his treatment of Romanism and its contradictions is the amount
of correct information as to its real teaching and his condem-
nation of vulgar errors in this respect-errors too fretjuently
persisted in by even the most intelligent Protestants. Never-
theless, while speaking with all kindness and respect hia
argument is plain and forcible, its arrangement skilful' and
the illustrations apt. Additional interest attaches to the book
Irom tlie fact that its author, though bom in Vermont, is of a
French Canadian family.

From J, Warrex Martin, E.sq., Chatham, Ont.
The book is received and read all through with much interest.
1 have read several such works, but none have left on my mind
and heart such prayerful yearning, love and pity for our lionian
Catholic co-religionists. I am determined to know nothing
among then, but - Christ and Him crucified " henceforth, God
being my helper.

Mi!

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SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES

oy A

ROMAN CATHOLIC:

AN AUTORIOGKAPHICAL SKETCH.

BY LOUIS N. BEAUDRY,

Author ok " Army and Prison Experiences v,;th thk Fifth New

York Cavalry."

WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY THE REV. H. HAMLEY, D.I).

' Now rest, my lony-divided heart ;

Fix'd on this blissful centre, rest ;
Nor ever from thy Lord depart :

With Ilim of every good possess'd."

— Doddridge.

jFirjst Canabian ^Ebition, HSnlargtb anb Umprobtb.

TORONTO: '
METHODIST BOOK AND PUBLISHING hOUSE,

78 AND 80 KING street EAST.

MONTREAL. 3 BLEURY STREET.

1880.

!! I

2021

Entebed, according to the Act of the Parliament of Canada,,
in the year one thousand eight hundred and eighty, by the Rev.
Louis N. Bhaudry, in the Office of the Minister of Agriculture.

TO .MY

DISTIXOUISHKO S(!HOOL..MATK,

THE REV. JOSEPH COOK,

THROUGH WHOSE INSTRUMKNTAUTV I WAS KlRsT BROUGHT
IN CONTACT WITH THK SIMPLE WORD OF TKUTH,

AND TO

THE REV. BENJAMIxX POMEROY,

BY WHOSE EVANGELISTIC LABOURS I WAS FINALLY LED TO
THE HAPPY EXPEllflENCE OF SAVING FAITH
IN THE SURE PROMISE,

^^B l$oUxmt is most glffwtionaUlg |itstrihb.

LOUIS N. BEAUDRY.

INTRODUCTION

f,V the many subjects now a<,Mtatin;^' tlic niimlrt of the
p° pt?opU' in all Christian and civilized countries, none
T possesses a more weiglity interest tlian that of
Romanism in its rehitions to tlie civil and n'lit,'ious (uni-
ditions of socioty. Everywhere and always the same, it
seems now, as ever, antagonistic to the larjjest pen^onul
liberty, as also to the highest degree of intelligence and
purity of a community. Not less opposed is it to any
clear convictions of personal responsihilitij to God and a
good government. These are facts that are now well and
widely known. Christianly enlightened communities
and States are somewhat awake to them, and are .nore or
less active ir. securing relief from them. Sch(darly and
popidar writers are Hooding the world with light on these
sultjects. A'olunies are written and libraries are enriched
by exposures and histories of what seems to us a dangerous
error. Every new phase of the system, as civilization and
Christianity advance '-^ being put in its true light. Of
these things there may be, thus far, little or no lack of
information. But there is another aspect in which the
animus, the genius, and the workings of llomanism may
be seen. Tliough there are now and then defections from

INTRODUCTION.

\ .

I it

nominal Christianity to Papacy, tlierc are also, and in
greater nuinhers, converts from Romanism to vital Cluis-
tianity. And of tlit;se there have been thus far l>ut few
readable developments in an attractive or permanent form.
The transition in any sucli case is always great. The
struggles to emcrgt! from traditional errors and religious
superstitions are, for reasons obvious to all who have
studied the genius of Papal teachings and errors, not un-
frequently severe, and even heroic. And any one who
has passed through them, and has the power and the will
to detail them in an attractive form, meets by so doing a
desideratum.

Such a book, not cumbersome, not dull, nor written in
the ordinary style of history, or even of narrative, but one
tliat traces out delicately and carefully the workings of
the soul in its religious transition, is needed. Families in
which Romish domestics are employed need such a book
written from the stand-point of experience. Young people
who see and are favourably impressed l)y the higher in-
telligence and purer morality of Protestant Christianity,
as also of Christian countries, and especiall}' those who
desire to read the Holy Scriptures that they may know
for themselves the truth as it is in Jesus, need such a
book. But where shall they find it I Volumes, purporting
to be narratives of personal experience and revelations of
Catholic atrocities, there are in sufficient numbers ; but
the style and spirit in which they are commonly written
preclude their M^de circulation, or, if circulated, prevent
any wide usefulness.

INTRODUCTION.

Hftvinf; had the privilege of reading, with much care
and pleasure, a volume in manuscript entitled " Spiritual
Strugghis," written by Rev. Louis N. Beaudry, a convert
from Romanism, and for many y»*ara an intelligent, pious,
and useful Christian minister, which seems to me well
calculated to he popular and useful, and, indeed, to meet
a felt want in the Church, I am idcased to commend it t»»
the reading public. It is not only, as it purjiorts, an auto-
biography — which all who know the writer will esteem to
be of itself a commendation — but it gives in a st-ries of
conversations, and, therefore, in familiar style, the struggles
of others who were participants in the family seances, and
who by these means were gradually, intelligently, and
religiously led to freedom in Christ.

The several chapters seem to me to sustain throughout
a natural and philosophical relation to each other ; and
though the autobiography in fact does not clearly appear
as is usual, in the first few pages, yet the writer is all the
while the central person, giving character and direction
to the conversations. Drawn out in due time to give his
own experience, he proceeds to do so without marring the
familiar style of the work. The plan of arrangement is
unique, simple, artistic, and gradually revealing, so as to
keej) the reader on the qui vive of interest and expectancy
up to the point where the narrative of personal experience
begins, t'nd that is harmoniously continued with the
freshness of romance to the very close, when " rest is
found — rest to the weary soul."

\'l If
11 t!

INTBODUCTION.

Much of the beauty and attractiveness of the volume
lies in the very natural and easy manner in which ia
shown how the writer, and some of those associated with
him in the seances, were led by the truth and the Spirit of
God ouL cf the doubts and errors in which they had been
educated to a clear experience and appreciation of justifi-
cation through faith. And so precious did their experience
become, that each and all, young and old, were led to an
entire renunciation of the traditions of men, and to a full
embrace of the truths of the Gospel.

Readers of the volume will see how other persons in
similar conditions of error may be led to a like precious
faith.

The practical lessons for all who would be, in a similar
way, instrumental in leading the erring to Christ, that are
gathered from the book, are, that kindness, tenderness, a
spirit of concession, an according to others all that truth
and justice will allow, and an admission that all truth is
exclusively with no one sect, accompanied by a disposition
to reason together, will go far to do away prejudice and to
win souls to Jesus.

Because of these and otlier considerations, I cheerfully
and strongly commend the book to the reading public.
In many respects it is suited to Juvenile readers, and will
be a welcome volume in the libraries of Sunday-schoola
and of families.

Bo.sTwicK Hawley.

■■#1
m\

I I

CON TENTS

Chapter I. ;>„^^

Face to Fa(;e—Luella— Surprises— The Plan 13

Chapter II.

First S^ai.oe-8ineerity--Sun.lay Sc-hools-Satisfied and

JNot batistied— Chanty and Unity 2I

Chapter III.
My Chihlhood-Ancestors-Evang,;.... of Acadia-Early
Lessons--Protestants-I>uzzle,l--Pnests and Play-
Cards and Dance— Sunday Desecration . . 40

Chapter IV.
The Church's Pillars of Stren^th-Fora-Linibus Infan-
tu n-I)on Pio Mortaaa- VestuM-nts an.l Ornanients-
C orpus Christi— Pure Devotion 59

Chapter Y.

PillarsofStrength-Badges-iioly Water-Pal,,, Branches
-An Altar Moy-My.steries and Knowledge-Inn.licit
(S^L^'' "' <'-"--ity-I'''allibiliti a I5o;.e of

Chapter VI.
To Whom my Sins Confess /-Monsieur (Jrenier-Aaree-
nent and Disagreenient-The Confessional-Preimra-
tions— One Metliator ^ gg

Chapter VII.
Power of the Confessional-Nora in Trouble- Ks„io.uu.e-
A^ogance of Power-" Whatsoever ye shalf blUy on
eaiui, etc.— Diogenes- PI.-ssedLanib of Calvary .,112
Chapter VIII.
1 he Priest and the Confessional- Who can Jud.re the
The'lrr t ;?^^'^;"^ Argnn.ent-Moral Ini^l^o _
SeereJs^^V^^;::^^:""":'^^, l^^^^'-^t-Ahjeet Fear-

lit*

iir

12 CONTENTS.

Chapter IX.

Great Struggles and False Refuges — First Communion —
Penances — Confirmed by Bishop (now Cardinal)
McCloskey — In the Army — Extreme Unction —
Scapular — Yearnings for the Priee^hood — \Jharla-
tanism — Woes Unutterable 147

Chapter X.

Providential Means of Relief — Ticonderoga — Leaving
Home — Cream Hill, Vt. — At School — Progress —
Teaching — Henryville, Canada — Diary — Joseph Cook
— Extempore Si)eaking— Education 171

Chapter XI.

Persecution and Perplexity— Poor Nora — The Nuns — At
Keeseville, N.Y. — First Hearing of the Word — Day
Dawn — Sunday School 188

Chapter XII.

The Bible — Luther — Various Versions— Jesuit College,
Montreal — Paul and Peter — Burnings — Mike and his
Priest— My First Bible 199

Chapter XIII.

"Blind Peter" — Bible Reading — Alarmed — Celibacy —
Prophets and Apostles Married Men — Apocalypse —
My Mother in Tears — Preaching to the Trees 213

Chapter XIV.

Transition — Happy Nora — Graven Images — Nine Com-
mandments — The Virgin Mary — Testimony of Jesus —
Purgatory — Indulgences — Prayers for the Dead —
Money — Heartlessness — Cut Loose 225

Chapter XV.

Danger and Rescue — Romanism and Infidelity — Seeking
the True Fold — Weeping, Reading, Praying — Anxious
Night — To be "Born Again " — Dream in Verse .... 248

Chapter XVI.

Resting — Nora and Her Brother — Attempt to Spirit Her
Away — The Altar — Codte que Coftte — Saving Faith —
"Joy Unspeakable" — Promise of More — Finale 262

147

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES

OK A

188

ROMAN CATHOLIC

* m *

199

225

Face to Face — Miss Luella — Surprises — The Plan.

Come now, let us reason together.— Zm/aA.

T was a lovely Sabbath afternoon, early
in the autumn of 18 — . I had just re-
^1 turned to the parsonage from an inter-
^^ esting session of our Sunday-school,
where I had been making a few re-
marks, contrasting the privileges of the children
before me with my own, when I was a child.
1 was now seated in an easy chair in my study,
absorbed in pensive reveries.

** The melancholy days had coine,
The saddest of the year."

The cricket was just beginning his solemn
chirpings in the walls around me, and directly

1 i

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

before my window the leaves of the drooping
elms gave evident signs of decay and approach-
ing winter. Here and there among the leaves
were irregular openings, through which, like
rifts in the clouds that reveal the blue sky
beyond, 1 could distinctly see the placid bosom
of the nob^.3 Hudson, now beautifully emble-
matic of a soul peacefully resting by faith in
the promises of the world's Redeemer. But
while I looked and pondered, a steamer, plying
between two neighbouring cities, laden with her
crowd of pleasure-seekers and Sabbath -breakers,
disturbed the glassy surface of the stream, and
interrupted the pleasing flow of my meditations.

Just then two loving arms were thrown
around my neck, and, as I slightly turned my
head, a sweet kiss was bestowed upon my lips.
It was Luella, my eldest child, now almost a
young lady, who, seeing my study door ajar, had
softly tripped in on tiptoe behind me, to surprise
me with her caresses. Seating herself in her
camp-chair by my side, and looking up in-
quiringly into my face, she remarked :

"Why, father, we were not a little astonished
to-day at your telling us that you were nineteen
years old when you first went into one of our
Sunday-schools ! For my part, I should like to
know the reason why you did not begin to
attend Sunday-school as young as we did,"

FACE TO FACE.

meaning, of course, herself, her brother Johnnie,
and her little sister Mary.

" Nov, Luella, I suppose that you have
already learned the answer to your question, at
least in a general way ; which is, that I was
educated m the faith of the Roman Catholic
Church. But I perceive by the tone of your
question, and the deep solicitude expressed in
your countenance, that you are anxious to learn
the particulars of my peculiar and eventful
life, especially during its earlier years."

" You have guessed it exactly, father ; but I
did not know that I could express so much by
a mere accent, or a look of my face and eyes."

" You have many things yet to learn, my
child. I hope your teachers may themselves be
so well instructed as not only to be able to sa-
tisfy the natural inquieitiveness of your mind,
and to develop all its latent faculties, but also
so evangelical in spirit as to lead you into that
beautiful Christian experience, the beginning
and progress of which may be at least intimated
by the simple words : penitence, pardon, peace,
purity, poioer"

" O, greatly as I desire to know more and
more of the ways of God, I am very glad to be
able to tell you that I think I know something
of those subjects already, dear father."

Rising as she spoke, she again warmly threw

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

her arms around me, and sobb^d on my bosom,
while I pressed her closely to my heart, praising
God for the saving mercies which were so freely
bestowed on myself and family. At length,
after wiping away my tears of joy, as also her
own, she resumed her seat, and I 'continued : —

" For several reasons, I<uella, I am glad this
subject of my religious struggle has come up to-
day. In the first place, it gives me a good op-
portunity to say, with the royal psalmist, 'Come
and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare
what he hath done for my soul.' And again,
like the man whom Jesus had saved, I may go
home to my friends and tell them how great
things the Lord hath done for me, and hath had
compassion on me. I trust, too, that I may be
impelled and controlled by the disposition en-
joined by the Apostle Peter upon his brethren,
to * be ready always to gi^'^e an answer to every
man that asketh you, a reason of the hope that
is in you, with meekness and fear.'

" I suppose you &. . aware that this question
of Romanism is just now awakening a deep
3olicitu(ie in the popular mind of every civilized
nation, and especially of our own. It is being
discussed on the platform, in the pulpit, and by
the press, from nearly every stand-point possi-
ble, and not seldom by those who are ignorant
of its principles and spirit, and who in not a

FACE TO FACE.

/SI

stion

few cases evince quite other than Christian
sentiments. As to myself, I am conscious of no
feelings of hostility toward any man or class of
men. 1 know, too, that ' hard words are like
hailstones in summer, beating down and de-
stroying what they would nourish were they
melted into drops.' So, in speaking to you or
to others on this subject, my only motive is to
do good and to advance the cause of truth ; and
in this case I can speak, as you know, from
the depths of experience, of the things which 1
liave seen and known.

" You have often heard me express a strong
desire to get Romanists and Protestants to hear
and read with candour ^n? another's views, or,
were it possible, to reason together, assured that,
would they do so, much of the misunderstanding
between them would soon cease, political animo-
sities would be removed, religious courtesies
would be freely exchanged, and no contention
would exist among us, save that noble rivalry,
or rather emulation, to see who can best work
and best agree. All men would feel better
pleased with themselves and those around thorn
if only they were better acquainted with each
other. How important, too, in a land like ours,
especially where the population is made up of
all nationalities, with all degrees of intellec-
tual, social, and moral development, with all

\,\

>\ I

SPIRITUAL STBUQOLEFJ.

sliades of political and religious creeds, that men
should meet and consult with one another, for
in this way only shall we learn that no man is
either wholly right or wholly wrong ; and under
the force of such a conviction the truth will be
sought and found, and we may here witness the
fulfilment of Isaiah's beautiful prophecy, * The
wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leo-
pard shall lie dov/n with the kid ; and the calf
and the young lion and the fat ling together ^
and a little child shall lead them,' even the holy
child Jesus.

" Now, toward the achievement of such a
grand and glorious realization I have many
years been desirous of contributing my mite of
influence ; and for a long time, and especially of
late, have I seriously thought of writing a book»
by means of which I might help to bring my
Romanist and Protestant friends and fellow -
citizens face to face, as it were, to discuss in a
friendly and Christian spirit the matters which
have kept them so long and so widely at vari-
ance. And this I can do in answering your
question. Really, I begin to feel as if this sub-
ject had come up between us to-day, Luella,just
in time to stimulate me to undertake this work,
and to assist me in its prosecution."

'* Well, well, I had no idea of putting in mo-

FACE TO FACE.

^ari-
rour
jub-
iust

10-

■A

tion such a train of events when I asked you my
question."

" I told you before, that there is much yet for
you to learn. But how would you like to have
our private conversation made the subject of a
public chronicle ?"

" Why, indeed, you make my head whirl by
your surprises ! You don't mean to have printed
in a book what we are now talking about, so
that iveryhody may read it, do you ? "

" Would you object ( "

" I scarcely know what to answer, you take
me so off my guard."

" Well, no matter now. I have a new propo-
sition to make right here."

" Another surprise, I suppose ! "

" Perhaps so, but it is simply this : — that you
run down stairs and call in the rest of the chil-
dren, for you know they are very fond of hear-
ing us tell stories, and I think this one is not
above their capacity. Invite your mother and
Aunt Melie also, if they think that baby Charlie
will not disturb us with his crowing or crying."

" Shall I not ask Nora to come in too ? "

" I think not now, for she might take it as an
offence, or * a bit of persecution,' as she would
call it."

Nora was a sincere Romanist, born in this
country of Irish parents; but she was not an ordi-

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

nary servant girl. Her father, once a wealthy
merchant, had spared no pains nor expense in
her domestic and general education. But bank-
ruptcy had brought the family to want. Being
naturally of an independent and somewhat pecu-
liar disposition, she had strangely chosen her
portion in household duties. Her contact, for a
few months, with the general class of kitchen-
maids, had given her their characteristic and
distinctive dialect and manners. This, however,
was only when she seemed to forget herself ; for
she was capable of filling the place of a cultured
lady. Though but a short time in our family,
we had all become much attached to her and she
to us.

This proposition just suited Luella, and away
she glided like a bird.

G%:is>-crz

II.

First Skanck — Sincerity — Sunday-Schools — Satih-
FiEP AND Not Satisfied — Charity and Unity.

And HOW abidoth faith, hope, ohurity, these three ; hut the jjreatest of

these is chanty --Paul.

aunt.

T did not take Luella lonjx to inform the
family of the interesting juncture of
attairs in the study, and soon I heard the
rapid footfalls of the children on the
stairs, followed by the mother and the
Meanwhile I had brought in chairs from
the adjoining rooms to accommodate them all,
and presently the place became the scene of life
and interest. Even the hahy seemed to enjoy
it greatly.

In a few words the object of our interview
was explained, and then I suggested that in ac-
cordance with my usual custom, taken from that
of the Christians of old, we ought to begin this
interesting subject with religious devotions ; for
St. Paul writes to Timothy, " I exhort, therefore,
that ^rs^ of alt, supplications, prayers, interces-

i !

IM i
(

I I

i ' ■''

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

sions, and giving of thanks be made/or all men.
Wc then knelt together, and repeated slowly
and solemnly, in concert, the prayer of prayers,
namely, " Our Father, which art in heaven, hal-
lowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy
will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us
this day our daily bread. And forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive them that trespass
against us. And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. For thine is the king-
dom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
Amen."

On resuming our seats, Mary remarked,
" Why, father, this is what we say together
every morning at the time of prayers."

" Yes, my dear ; it is the Lord's prayer, and it
is in the spirit of this prayer that we must feel
and act through all the day and in all things ;
and we have said it now that we may be espe-
cially guided by the Lord in what we are about
to say. j

Then addressing myself to the whole com-
pany, I remarked, that as certain classes even of
heathens were accustomed to take their children
out immediately after birth, and turn their faces
toward the open sky, that their first impressions
might be of heaven and of grandeur, so I desired
that my children in their earliest years should
be taught God's holy, saving truth, that they

FIRST SEANCE.

might learn to think and feel properly toward
all mankind, and act accordingly. Indeed, the
great Teacher said, that the duty of every Chris-
tian is comprehended in these two command-
ments, " Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with
all thy heart, and thy neighbour as thyself."

" Now," I continued, " I am aware that it is
very natural, that two religious sects as distinct
as are Romanists and Protestants in their man-
ner of life and modes of worship should misun-
derstand each other, especially when a long his-
tory of antagonisms, sometimes more or less
bloody, urges them to further animosities. But
while their views on certain controverted sub-
jects are diametrically opposed, there are many
others in which they perfectly agree — and these
are vital subjects — though other matters of dif-
ference lie within debatable ground, and yet are
such as they might be made to agree in by rea-
soning together. You will probably understand
me better when I bring before you some of these
latter subjects. For instance, it is no uii-'immon
thing to hear a Protestant charging a Romanist
with being insincere in his profession of what
he calls ' his faith.' "

" Insincere ! " almost shouted two or three
voices.

" How can they be sincere," inquired Luella,
^'and believe such things as are generally re-

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

ported of them, and even affirmed in their
own books ? "

" Now, now, children ; this is very much like
what I feared of you. You have not received
this spirit from me, however ; and I am glad of
the opportunity of removing this prejudice and,
I suspect, other similar ones, from your minds.
I assure you that no class of people are more sin-
cere in their beliefs. The facts which I can ad-
duce to establish the truthfulness of this state-
ment are very numerous. Look first at the de-
votion of Romish parents in teaching their chil-
dren the doctrines and practices of the ' Holy
Mother Church,' as thev call her. No sect,
either religious or otherwise, takes more pains
to indoctrinate the young. Their children, gene-
rally when only a few days old, are taken to
their churches and baptized. They are then
considered mer^bers of the Church. As soon as
they are able to speak, they are taught to repeat
the prayers of the Church and the Catechism,
which contains their doctrines. This is done
with untiring industry and generally w^ith great
solemnity. When they are sufficiently gron^n
up they i\re sent to the schools of the Church,
which are always in the hands of nuns or * sis-
ters,' or of others who devote all their time and
energy to this work."

" But would you recommend these schools or

SINCERITY.

in their

uch like
received
glad of
ice and,
minds.
07'e sin-
;an ad-
s state-
the de-
ir chil-
'Holy
) sect,
pains
gene-
en to
then
on as
epeat
lisni,
done
great
own
urch,
sis-
and

s or

convents as proper places to send our children
for instruction ?" asked Mrs. Beaudry, with con-
siderable feeling.

" I have not said anything of the kind ; nor
have I time now to say just what I think about
these institutions; but at the same time I am con-
vinced that by these and other means Romanism
is doing vastly more for her chiMren in her way
than is Protestantism."

" Indeed, father," said Johnnie, his dark eye
flashing with emotion, " and were you not a Pro-
testant when you had us baptized ? and are you
not constantly teaching us in the Sunday-school
and at home the Catechism and the Discipline
of our Church ? "

'' Certainly ; but this practice is not as general
among Protestants as among Romanists."

" But are not our Sunday-schools doing as
much for us as Roman Catholics are doinjx for
their children I "

" Only in part, my child ; and yet many pa-
rents among us leave the religious training of
their children wholly to the Sunday-school. But
you must remember that the family circle is be-
fore the Sunday-school, not only in point of
time, but also of importance. The parent is the
child's first and most influential teacher. You
ought to know what a little boy once said when

11 ' <

i. '

iiii

V<\ 1

SPIRIT VAL ST BUGGIES.

some one was contradicting him about a certain
doctrine."

" What was it ? " Johnnie quickly asked.

" O, simply this ; he clinched his argument by
saying, * It's true, for ma says so ; and if ma says
so, it's so if it aint so.' Now, this labour of
Romish parents for their children proves their
sincerity."

" I see the point and acknowledge the force of
the argument," said Luella, " and I see it is doing
us good to reason thus together."

" Let us reason, then, a little farther. Wit-
ness the fidelity of Row(tnists to the routes and
devotions of their Church. They fast often and
much. They keep every year a forty days'
Lent, in imitation, as they say, of Christ's forty
days' fast in the wilderness of Judea, and in
commemoration of his passion ; and because the
Church ordains it, they abstain from all ' flesh
meats ' on Fridays — it used to be on Fridays
and Saturdays also."

" Well, this is not a little curious," invtiiiapt-
<3d Aunt Melie, " that such an ordinanc .vas
ever altered in a Church which professes to never
change."

" That makes me think," added Luella, " of
their Church motto, which I read in one of their
books. It is ' temper eadeni,' which means, as I
found by my Latin lexicon, * Always the same.*"

■I?

certain

SINCERITY.

?d :^^

lent by |

na says |
Dour of 1

Bs their 1

:orce of |

s doing 1

es atic? 1

en and |

' days' 1
; forty 1
and in f

ise the J

' flesh ||

ridays |

rapt- A

:' was (:

never

a, " of ^

their m

s,as I M

.me.

>»

*' I am glad to see that you remember so well
what you read, and that you are learning your
Latin lessons so thoroughly; but I have not time
now to explain these changes to you, for I fear
we shall lose the thread of my argument. I
must continue to give you the proofs of their
sincerity. See hotu strid they are in attending
the services of their Church. On the Sabbath
they are up early and away to church, though
many of them have much to do and far to go,
and you can hear the tramj)ing of their feet on
the walks while most other people are asleep in
their beds. Their churches are crowded at near-
ly every service, and a marked degree of devo-
tion is observable in most of the worshippers. I
well remember when myself, with my brothers
and other Romish friends of the neighbourhood
used to go to chui'ch nine miles afoot, through
mud and dust, because we felt that it was our
duty. Was that no sign of sincerity ? We cer-
tainly showed our faith by our works."

" Surely," responded Mrs. Beaudry, " such ex-
amples of devotion ought to put to shame the
many delinquents in our different Protestant
denominations, and should provoke them to love
and to good works."

" But are they not thus attentive to external
duties," asked Aunt Melie, " because they are

! !

i^l(

i*^'

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

taught to expect the salvation of their souls
through such means ? "

" You must judge lo^ yourself when I have
presented to you other facts hearing upon this
subject. But I have not finished my argument
in vindication of their sincerity. I wish to give
you at least another illustration of it. It is
found in their atUickment to the Church, of their
fathers. When I was nineteen years of age, just
before the event of n;y first going to a Sunday-
school — a matter referred to in Luella's introduc-
tory question to me to-day — had any man step-
ped up to me, and, presenting a pistol to my
head, said, ' You must be a Protestant now or I
will take your life,' T would have replied with-
out any hesitation or evasion whatever, ' Take
my life, sir, but my integrity never.' Martyr-
dom would have been cheerfully accepted rather
than separation from the Church. And thou-
sands of Komanists, I am sure, feel just as I did
then."

" I see clearly that you were more to be pitied
than blamed," said Johnnie ; adding with em-
phasis, " and I'm sure we will never charge Ro-
man Catholics again with the sin of insincerity."

" But may not this attachment to the Church,
which is generally commendable, go so far, at
times at least, as to become sinful and hurtful ?''
asked Mrs. Beaudry.

SINCERITY.

jir souls

I have
)on this
gument
to give
. It is
of their
igejust
junday-
itroduc-
m step-
to my
)W or I
1 with-
, ' Take
lartyr-
rather
thou-
s I did

pitied
h eiu-
l^e Ro-
erity."
hureh,
far, at
tful r

" Undoubtedly ; for men may be sincere in an
error, and we ought to prefer truth before party
or sect, and be attached to a Church only so far
as it teaches and practises the truth as it is in
Jesus. The great Apostle Paul wrote to his
Corinthian brethren, ' Be ye followers of me,
even as I also am of Christ,' showing that he
was to be followed only as he followed Christ,
and not otherwise. But then the masses of the
people have very little inclination — if, indeed,
they are not wanting in time and ability — to
search out the truth for themselves, and they
therefore become as strongly attached to what
tliey are told is truth, as the truly studious do to
the truth itself. And you may be sure that no
external or physical force will ever change their
belief or convert their souls. ' Faith coineth by
hearing, and hearing by the word of God.' "

" The fault, then must be in their priests,"
said Aunt Melie ; " and, judging them by a sam-
ple which came under my own observation once,
I have always believed the7n insincere and hypo-
critical."

"That is undoubtedly true of some of them,
but I will show you that it is not true of all.
Your suspicions will fall to the ground when I
produce even but a few facts of history. Their
extensive missionar}- labours alone refute the
charge. Look, too, at their great Church enter-

hi "

'.i .

n !

II .'■

SPIRITUAL STEUGOLES.

prises ; their laborious and successful education-
al efforts — successful, at least, from their own
point of view — and their vast charitable institu-
tions for the aged, the vagrant, the orphan, and
the poor."

" But does uot their system of religion pro-
duce, at least in part, the poverty and wretched-
ness which these institutions are designed to
relieve ? Is not this, to use an old proverb,
' robbing Peter to pay Paul ? ' "

" That may all be true ; and yet it does not
disprove their sincerity, for many of them have
suffered even martyrdom for their faith."

" I cannot yet see how this can be," she con-
tinued.

" You will have no difficulty in seeing it when
you trace out the leading facts of their educa-
tion and training from childhood to priesthood.
They are first consecrated to this one object of
life ; then nurtured in the teachings and discip-
line of the Church ; put into the schools under
the absolute control of the * brothers ' and * fa-
thers;' kept from all contact with the active
outside world ; forbidden to study, or even read,
any book which could possibly prejudice their
lainds against the Church or any of her inter-
pretations, as you can see by consulting the
Index Libror^im Prohibitorum et Expurgan-
dorum"

SINCERITY.

" 0, what do you mean by these long words ? "
inquired Johnnie

Takinf? down my large Webster's Dictionary,
and handing it to Luella, I told her to look for
the word " Index," under which she read as fol-
lows : " In the Roman Catholic Church the In-
dex Prohibitory is a catalogue of books which
are forbidden to be read ; the Index Expurga-
tory is a catalogue specifying passages in books
which are to he expunged or altered. These
catalogues are published, with additions, from
time to time, under the sanction of the Pope."

Returning the Dictionary to the table, I re-
marked, " The spirit which animates their edu-
cation and controls it may be seen in ?.a address
recently made by the Roman Pontiff himself to
the students of one of the papal colleges. Here
is one of the emphatic sentences : ' Let us hasten
to cultivate sanctity of life by attending to
studies, by obedience to superiors, by frequent-
ing the sacraments, and by not disturbing our-
selves with what occurs in the world ; by never
having in our hand any daily newspaper, but
especially those journals verily issuing from the
depths of hell, which if one shall take in his
hand he will be guilty of a grievous fault.' "

" Is this the way these clerical students are in-
structed ? Now," continued Aunt Melie, " I am

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

11 !

.1 I ,

1 i

satisfied that I was wrong in suspecting them,
as a class, of insincerity."

" Yes, indeed ; and finally, endowed with holy
orders from the authorities of the college at May-
nooth, Ireland, or of some other approved in-
stitute or university, they come forth fully be-
lieving themselves to be in the sacred succession
of the apostles of our Lord, with ' the keys of the
kingdom of heaven ' in their hands, so that
' whatsoever th(;y shall bind on earth shall be
bound in heaven, and whatsoever they shall
loose on earth shall be loosed in heavon.' I
have been personally acquainted with several
priests 1both in Canada and in the United States,
and I am satisfied that many of them are quite
sincere.

" Their sincerity is further seen in their almost
constant practice of devotions, in observing what
is called the ' Church Ofiice,' which is a form of
prayer consisting of psalms, lessons, hymns, &c.,
used by all the clergy, and by the religious of
both sexes in the Romish Church. This Office is
divided into seven parts, commonly called the
' Seven Canonical Hours,' commencing with the
matins, or midnight office, and ending with the
compline, at the close of day."

* Is this what the priests and nuns are busy
with," asked Luella, " when we see them on the
boats or in the cars^ for their lips are almost

ABSOLUTION.

:^:^

constantly in motion, as though ^hey were try-
ing to whisper something, or tliey are reading
from a little book which 1 think I have heard
you call a * breviary,' or prayer-book."

" That's it exactly. These <levotions consume
a large portion of the <lay."

" But, Louis," asked Mrs. Beaudry, " do you
really believe that they are sincere when they
ask and receive money of their people for the
pardon of their sins ? "

" It is not true — as it seems to me 1 must
have told you before this time — that they do
any such thing, at least in this country. It does
appear, from certain writers, that it must have
been true in other countries and other ages ; but
of this I am sure, that no money wa ever asked
of me by any priest in the confessional, though
I have often been there and was never refused
' absolution.' In case the priest does not know
the penitent who presents himself for confession,
he incpiires whether he contributes anything to-
ward the support of the Church. If the indivi-
dual has failed to do so in the past, and refuses
to pledge himself to do so in the future, the priest
refuses to hear his confession, and he is justly
regarded as unworthy of any of the privileges
of'^the Church."

" But how is it that Romish servants, just be-
fore going to their church, want so much money,

! '

SPIRITUAL STBUGGLES.

I ! i
i I'
ili

II'

i .i!

as you know Nora does nearly every Sab-
batli ^ "

** I am aware tliat this might give rise to the
suspicion that money is used in the confessional,
for, in order to secure it, some servants present
this as their plea. But you must consider that
the priests make other demands upon their peo-
ple. Think of the vast and costly edifices they
erect, always in the most conspicuous and expen-
sive localities, and often, too, in communities
where they have very few, if any, wealthy com-
municants. Whenever the priests call on them
for contributions for a private or public enter-
prise, Roman Catholics, rich and poor, pour out
their money like water. I have known families
who, by contributing as they were urged by
their spiritual guides, have reduced themselves to
such destitution as to be compelled to seek aid
from the town or county where they resided.
Napoleon Roussel has styled theirs the ' religion
of money.' It is undeniably true in more re-
spects than one ; but they do not pay money for
the pardon of sins, as you have thought."

" But does not their doctrine of Purgatory in-
volve principles which have led us and many
others into this belief ? " Mrs. Beaudry asked.

" Very likel3^ Concerning this doctrine, how-
ever, I expect to tell you by-and-by more than I
have time to say to you now."

OF PUL'GATORY.

Then taking from the table a little hook, en-
titled " Grounds of the Roman (catholic Doctrine,
contained in the Profession of Faith," published
by Pope Pius IV., I turned to page 4(1, and read :
" Of Purgidory. — What is the doctrine of ti^e
Church as to this point ?"

" Answer. We constantly liold that there is a
purgatory, and tliat the souls therein detained
are lielped by the sufi'rages of the faithful : that
is, by the prayers and alms offered for them, and
principally by the holy sacrifice of the Mass."

" We are further told," I continued," that the
prayers of the priest must be obtained in addi-
tion to those of the people, for which he must
be paid money, as also for the saying of masses,
and that thereby the sins of the souls in purga-
tory are remitted unto them. From these pre-
mises many have reasoned as follows : ' Now, if
the priest is paid money to secure the pardon of
sins in purgatory, does it not follow that he is
also paid for the pardon of sins in the confes-
sional I ' Every one must admit that your rea-
soning is perfectly logical, and these facts shield
you from the charge of having accused the
Romanists without cause. The same process of
reasoning may be applied w^ith equal force to the
doctrine of indulgences."

" Really, father/' asked Luella, " do you think
you can name any more points in which Protest-

i. '

1 I

lilii

I'll

\<\\

SPJJUTUAL STIiUGGJ. HS.

ants, and even your own family, liav(! erroneous-
ly charged the Roman (catholics V

" Yes, my child ; here is one : 1 have sometimes
hei«.rd Protestants say that Roman ( 'atholie theo-
logy or teacluTig is wholly heterodox, or i'alsc.
This l)ook, called ' Grounds,' etc., irom which I
just read, will repel this change," After readin«4,-
a few pages I said, " Now you see that every es-
sential doctrine taught in the Pre testant Churches
is also taught in the Romish (.'hurches. The
Apostles' Creed, which is really an e})itonu^ of
the Gospels, is repeated and helieved in all
Churches, both Roman Catholic and Prot(;stant,
throughout the world, witho' varying even a
word or syllable. The Lord'. yer — and what
prayer is better entitled to universal usage, l)eing
the only prayer our blessed Saviour ever taught
to his disciples, an epitome of prayers ? — is daily
repeated in nearly all the languages of the world,
and by all professed Christians. If Romanists
would only stop here, and not try to add to that
which is divinely perfect, all cur religious dif-
ferences would at once vanish. I am free, how-
ever, to say that there is enough good and sound
doctrine in the Roman Catholic Church, if pro-
perly applied; to save the w^orld."

" Do you mean to say, father," asked Johnnie
quite excitedly, " that any Papists are saved ? "

" Most certainly. I believe that soine in that

SATTSFTI'D AND NOT SATISFIED.

.S7

roiu'oiis-

CJliurcli, like- Mtulanie (luyon ami Bishop Vvn4-
lon — nraspinii" the savin<j^ trutli which they liavt;
Ik'cu taught, ant-l assisted l)y the Holy Spirit,
wlio, like th'^ pure sunli<^^ht which HocmIs the
earth this afternoon, is difi'iised throughout the
worhl — enjoy naich of the favour of God, walk
in all the ll<j,ht they liave, to the full measure of
their responsihilities, and rejoice in hope of
heaven."

" Hut I am convinced," added Aunt Melie,
" that while this nunj be the happy experience
of some, the masses are entangled in the meshes
of error, sink the spirit and power of true reli-
gion in the mere ceremony and outward form,
and follow the commandments and traditions of
men rather than the word of God."

" But do you think these Roman Catholics are
really satisfied with their religion ? " inquired
Johnnie.

" They are, and yet they are not."

" Why, your answer is something of a riddle."

" Then let me explain it. They believe and
profess that they have true faith, and are in the
true Church. This is a conviction of the intel-
lect, and comes from human teaching — from their
parents and priests. With this the majoilty of
them are satisfied. But when they look at
their moral state ; when they search for t\at
kingdom of heaven which our blessed Saviour

ii !l

.38

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

says ' is within us,' and which the Apostle Paul
describes as being 'not meat and drink, hut
righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy
Ghost,' they are not satisfied witli their condi-
tion, and, like the poet, they sigh, —

" ' Break oft' the yoke of inljred sin,
And fnlly set my spirit free ;
I cannot rest till pure within —
Till I am wholly lost in thee. '

B'.it this rest for which the spirit pants is a
matter of moral consciousness, and can be ob-
tained or wrought witliin only through the
agency of the Holy Spirit, who is freely given to
us in the redemption of Jesus Christ."

" This reminds me," said Johnnie, " of the pre-
cious words of Jesus himself, ' Come unto me,
all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and /
luill give you rest. Take my yoke upon you,
and learn of me, for I am meek and lowh^ in
heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

" O, father, Jesus said," quickly added Mary,
" Suffer the little children to come unto me, and
forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of
God.' "

While they were repeating these beautiful
passages, Luella was gazing apon the smooth
surface of the river, and, when they ceased, she
exclaimed with animation, —

" See there ! I'm sure that's a good emblem of

CHABITY AND UNITY.

this soul-rest. ! " Then turning to me, with her
hand upon her breast, she continued, " And
what is best of all, dear father, I feel it here, to-
day, in my heart."

" I perceive," I said with emotion, " that we
have gained something, both intellectually and
spiritually, by our reasoning together. O, would
that all men might not only reason with one
another, but also with God, in the blessed
assurance which the prophet gives, that though
tlieir ' sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white
as snow ; though they be red like crimson, they
shall be as wool.' "

As the last of these precious words fell from
my lips, the clock below struck seven. How
short the time had been ! Every one was sorry
that we were compelled to close our interview so
soon. Preparation had now to be made for the
evening service at the church.

"Next Sabbath," said I, "the Lord willing,
we will meet again, and I will tell you some
incidents of my childhood. But before we
part, let us sing these beautiful words : —

'* ' Sweetly may we all agree,

Touched with softest sympathy ;

Kindly for each otlier care ; ^

Every member feel its share.

Many are we now and one,

We who Jesus have put on :

Ndiiies, and seda, and parti'sfall :

Thou, Christ, art all in all,' " .

r i:

! 1 ''I!

Illll I '

■ i 'J

III.

My Childhood — Anc?]Stors — Evangp^line of Acadia
— Early Lessons, Good and Bad — Protestants —
Puzzled — Priests and Play — Sunday Desecration.

" Wlien I was a cliild, I spake as a child, F understood as a cliild, I
thought as a cliild ; but when I became a man, I put away childish tilings,''
—Paul.

IJbTIHE week had passed away but too
tardily, as the children thc^^ght, in their
great anxiety to hear my story. Many
'^W^'^ times Mary, in her childish way, had
T^>^? inquired : " Father, when will it be
Sunday afternoon again?" To me the time had
been sufficiently brief, being filled up with the
many calls and duties of an extensive parish.

The holy Sabbath came at length, but clouds
obscured the sky and threatened rain, which
indeed began to fall just before the afternoon
session of the Sunday-school. Consequently
the attendance was not quite as large nor the
exercises so long as usual. This enabicd our
family group to assemble in the study a few
minutes earlier than on the Sabbath previous.

CHILDHOOD AND ITS LESSONS.

The scene witliont was greatly changed, but
witliin all was animation and delight. Some
one remarked that the elm looked rather tearful
out there in the drenchino' rain, and that the
heavens showed trouble as they groaned with
mutterinix thunders and o-Iowed with occasional
lio-htnino".

" But," interrupted Johnnie, " as much as I
love to study the trees and flowers, I am more
interested just now in father's story, and I pro-
pose that we sit still and let him go on." Then
turning to me, he continued, " Father, you
remember that last Sabbath you corrected us in
our false ideas of Koman (Catholics, for which I
am glad, for I know that it has made me a
better boy all the week, especially when I have
been playing with Romish boys or talking with
Nora in the kitchen. Now it seems to me, that,
as you know both sides of this question, you
ought to present here, and, if possible, show how
to remove, the false views which they undoubt-
edly entertain toward Protestants. I am (piite
sure that Nora said several things to me about
Protestants concerning which she must be
mistaken."

" This is just the subject which I intend to
present, my son ; and it will fully appear as
I proceed witii my narrative, as you will
presently see."

"ij

(

iiii'

i rli

#2 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" That's right, father ; give us the story any-
way," said Mary, and she came up to me and
leaned on the arm of my chair.

" I'll begin now, then, if you'll give attention.

" I was born in the town of Highgate, Frank-
lin County, Vermont, August 11th, 1833, about
one mile from Saxe's Mills. My parents were
French, as you see by our name, and the French
language was the first I ever spoke. One
branch of the family was descended from a
long line of warriors, which can be traced back-
ward to the belligerent Franks of ancient Gaul.
In modern times they fought in this country at
Ticonderoga and Quebec, under the brave Mont-
calm, during what is known in American history
as the French and Indian War. The other
branch, on my mother's side, whose name was
Marie Bail de Printemps, presents an almost
uninterrupted succession of Roman Catholic
religionists. Her grandmother was a fellow-
sufferer of * Evangeline,' the heroine of one of
Longfellow's most beautiful poems, in which may
be found a picture of the ardent, simple,
religious spirit, and of the sufferings of those
eighteen thousand Acadians who were driven
from their loved country over the entire
continent."

" But did you always live in Vermont ? " asked
Luella.

JUST ESCAPED.

4:^

" When I was five years old my parents
returned to Lower Canada, their native province,
and settled in the town of Henryville, near
Lake Chaniplain. After about six years' residence
there, we again removed into my beloved Green
Mountain State, and two years afterward to
Tieonderoga, New York, where we remained
several years. When I was about seven years
of awe I came near beino- drowned in the South
River."

" What, father ! " cried Johnnie, "just as I did
some time ago in Kinderhook Creek ? "

" Much like it, for I was barely saved from a
watery grave."

" How good the Lord has been to us all ! "
exclaimed Luella. " Doubtless he has preserved
our lives for some good purpose."

" I trust that none of us," I added, " will in
anywise frustrate his designs ; but that, as the
poet Cowper has written, we may realize that

though

Tlic bud may have a bitter taste,
Sweet will be the Mower.'

But I must continue my narrative. My mother
was one of the most earnest and devoted
Romanists I ever knew. Every memV)er of her
numerous family of fifteen — nine sons and six
daughters — was baptized in early lihildhood. I
was taken to the town of St. Mary, Province of

111' :

li)

!.l

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

Quebec, a great many miles from home, to be
baptized. Every one of us was thorouii^hly
trained in the teachings of the Church. I was
taught many good lessons which I have never
forgotten nor rejected, and for wlr'^.h I am truly
grateful. The following were the leading princi-
ples inculcated — namely, that reJhjlon Is a
subject of supreme miportdnce ; that on awak-
ing every morning I should say, ' My (xod, T
give thee my heart ; ' that after dressing myself
E should kne(d down and offer my morning
prayer ; tliat 1 should partake of my meals
with sobriety and temperance, and not without
asking God's blessing upon them ; that I should
attend public religious services every day, if
possible, and apply myself faithfully to my
vocation in life, or daily lal)our ; that I should
assist the poor according to my means, and that
every night I should examine my conscience
and offer my evening prayer."

" Surely," said Luella, *' this is just as good
instruction as any child need receive, and all of
it, I think, is perfectly scriptural."

"That is just the reason I continue to practise
these things, and desire to do so till the day of
my death. But while I was schooled in these
wholesome Christian truths, I was also taught
to hate and shun Protestants. More stress was
laid upon this branch of my education — no

f'v I II Jii

ST h' ON a FEELll^'G AND EXPRESSION. 4.")

doubt because there were so many Protestants
around us. J saw also that tliey were not
permitted to be buried in our cemeteries. In
my early childhood, whenever I heard the sound
of a Protestant bell a holy horror seemed to till
my soul, and 1 could have leaped for joy at
seeing every Protestant church around us in
flames."

" (>, how wicked it was to feel like that I "
exclaimed Johnnie, with sadness in his coun-
tenance.

" 1 know it now, but 1 did not think so then.
You remend)er that Jesus went so far as to say
to his disciples, ' The time cometh that who-
soever killeth you will think that he doeth God
service."

"But i/oa didn't feel like that — did you,
father ? for then you would have been a
murderer."

" 1 was not very far from feeling so, 1 am
ashamed to confess. But it is no wonder, for 1
was told that Protestantism is not onl}'' a denial
and j-ejection of all spiritual religion, but a
virtual crusade against it, and that inasmuch
as the Romish Church is the only true one, who-
ever rejects it rejects God and his Christ, and
must be regarded as ' a heathen man and a
publican.' This is an opinion entertained by all
rigid Roman Catholics."

f
t

■;!i

I' (

! U

i I

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

*' O, I think it was this that Nora tried to tell
me the other day," addevi Johnnie.

" My father used to say derisively that his old
brindled ox was more pious than a Protestant,
because the beast would always Imeel before
he lay down, which was much more than a
Protestant would do."

" Is it possible that grandfather would talk in
that way ? " exclaimed Luella in surprise.

" That may be true of a vast body of Protest-
ants who make no profession of personal or
experimental religion," said Aunt Melie. " I
now see what terrible responsibility rests upon
them in this matter. They are really the great
stumbling-blr in the way of the Gospel. But
then it is a px.^ ohat your father had not fallen
among a better class of Protestants."

** O, this view of the subject was drawn from
his reliy-ious traininof rather than from observa-
tion," I remarked in explanation. " All this
spite and ridicule is substantially taught in the
Church Catechism,* from which I will translate
a brief passage."

Turning to page 24, I read : —

" ' Are there many Catholic Churches ? '

" * No, the only Catholic is the Roman Church,
out of which there is no salvation!

* ((

Petit Catecliisme du Diocese de Quebec."

n I

PROTESTANT.

" 'What must we think of those other societies
which call themselves Churches, but do not
profess the same faith that we do, and ar>3 not
subject to the same pastors ? '

" * They are humian institutions, which serve
only to lead men astray, and cannot bring them
to God.'"

Laying down the book, I continued : " The
commentary upon this passage — and no passage
was more thoroughly taught and enforced — was,
that Protestantism, referred to here,, protests
against Christ and his Church, against all law
and gospel. The v/ord Protestant itself was
made to mean all this. Therefore I was told
that it was a grievous sin, and almost a sacrilege,
to read a Protestant book, or to attend theii
meetings ; and that I must shun them as Eve
ought to have shunned the tempting serpent.
This question is thoroughly discussed in one of
the most popular books of instruction in the
Church, where may be found the following pas-

sage

" ' What, if a person, through absolute neces-
sity of his unhp'^py circumstances, should be
tied to a place wh. re he can never hear mass;
do you think he might not then be allowed to

-M

*The Most Rev. Dr.
Instructed," pp. 92, 93.

Challouer's "Catholic Christian

+.S

si'imruAL H'rnracLi'.s.

ii.i

lil

join in prayer witli tho.se of jiiiotlRT cuimiiu-
nion, l)y way of supplying- tliis defect :" '

"'No, certainly. It is a niisfortuih', and a
^^reat misfortune, to be kei)t, like David when he
was persecuted by Saul, at a <listance from the
temple [tabernacle] of (Jod, and its sacred mys-
teries ; but it would be a cr'rntc to join ones
self lipoihtl Kit accoavtivith on hn'cficid.oi-sc/ils-
itiotic CO II (J regal iun, mltose irors.'n'i) God rejects
as sacriltijious and iinploux' "

" (), now 1 see," cried Luella, "wliy you did
not attend our Sunday-schools wlieii a boy. You
certainly had a g-ood reason for it tlien."

" But this was not all J was taught. 1 was
also urged to do all in my power, making use of
every possible means, peacefully if 1 could,
forcefully if I must, to convert Protestants to
my faith, and thus aid in tlu; overthrow of the
most abominable and danmable heresy ever in-
troduced into our world. I was taught that as
Satan plotted and accomplished the fall of the
first man, so Protestantisui was a plotting to
overthrow the second Adam, e\en ("hrist. This
teaching was so often repeated, and with such
religious emphasis, that it became interwoven
into the very texture of my mental and moral
being, giving peculiar colouring and jjotency
to every thought and feeiing, and controlling
with more or less certainty all my actions. ' It

PUZZLED.

is in tlio nature of man to l)e crodiiloiis,' savs an
eminent French author. ' Tliis credulity is ne-
ces.sary to our conservation and development
duriu!^- infancy. We then receive for true, with-
out examination, without study, opinions which
cast deep roots into our minds, and which, later
in life, rule us as with a tyrant's liand.' I have
found it even so in my own ex[ierience.

" However, as I grew up to the age when one
begins to observe the manners of mankind, 1 was
greatly puzzled to find that the morality of my
Protestant neighbours was far superior to wy
own and to that of my people. They excelled
us in acts of charity, were better educated, more
refined, industrious, and sober. what splen-
did Christians, I often thought — meaning, of
course, Roman Catholics — they would be if they
only possessed the light I felt sure I had, and
were members of the true Church like myself 1 "

" Little did you realize, even at that time,"
said Aunt Melie, '' that the average morality of
Protestants in the United States — though it is
not by any means what it should be — who make
no pretensions to religion, to say nothing of those
who do, is superior to that of the Papists."

" But I was sure of this, that the morality of
Roman Catholics in this country reaches a stan-
dard of excellence unattained and unknown in

purely Roman Catholic countries."
4

SPTRTTUAL STRUGGLES.

"Your tcalk," said Liiclla, " re-ininds mo of
some conversation I lieard in tlie street-cars a
few days aj^'o. One lady remarked to another,
* Have you obs 'rved the signs on tlie lager beer
and li((Uor sal./ons and other low groggeries.
which are so numerous in tins city ( ' Most cer-
tainly,' replied her friend ; ' and 1 notice that
nearly every one bears a foreign name, whicli
indicates the I'dUjlon to which the keeper pro-
bably belongs.' "

" And yet, Luella, just look a moment at the
lesson I received, in conmnon with all Romanists
of this country, on this subject. In a popular
prayer-book, which is used by nearly all the
people, being approved by Archbisho}) John
Huglies, of New Yc k, entitled * The Way to
Heaven/ we find the following instruction and
prayer on page 14 : —

"'By a r cript, dated 5th September, bS.")2,
our Holy Father, Pius IX., at the instance of
the National Council of Baltimore, sanctions by
the grant of indulgences the institution of a so-
ciety whose members shall especially pray for
the conversion of all who are out of the connnu-
nion of the Church in the United States.'

'"A plenary indulgence, on receiving the Easter
conn nun ion, to all the members who shall daily
recite, in any language, the following prayer:
" Almighty and eternal God, who savest all, and

PUZZLED.

wilt liav'c! none to perisli, have reorard to those
souls who aru led astray hy the deceits of tlio
devil, that, rejecting all error, the liearts of those
who err may he converted, and may return to
the unity of the truth, through Christ our Lord,
A men." '

" Now you see that not only is the prayer
taught, hut this work is considered hy the Pope
to ho of such importance, that the heavy pre-
mium of a plenary indulgence — the highest ever
granted — is offered to every true Romanist who
rep<'ats this hrief prayer."

While we were thus discoursing, Johnnie had
taken down tho files of our daily morning paper,
and, interrupting us, he said, " Well, here is more
light — perhaps you will say darkneHH — on the
suhject you ar'3 discussing. According to these
facts, I think thoy had hetter get up societies to
pray for the conversion of their own people.
Just hear me read the returns from our police
court."

He 'then read a lengthy list of arrests, pre-
senting an unbroken array of foreign names, and
remarked : —

" There, this is one day's courting dXouv police
head-quarters." Turning^ to another and another
aay's account he continued for some time read-
ing similar names in the same category, until
his mother interrupted him by saying,

o::

SPIEITUAL STRUGGLES.

! ;i

"That will do, I think, Johnnie ; for you mi^ht
read till night and there would be no relieving
of the dark picture. And it is all the darker
when we consider that these are the police re-
cords of a city many of whose police, and at least
one of its justices, are Roman Catholics."

" These names, though nearly all foreign, as is
evident," I remarked, " may not all be the
names of Romanists." '

" Very true ; perhaps a few are not ; but as we
are not personally acquainted with those indivi-
duals," replied Mrs. Beaudry, I suppose we must
draw our conclusions, guided by the positive
knowledge we have of people in our own neigh-
bourhood, and by what we learn from the crimi-
Jial reports of the day — reports from peniten-
tiaries, jails, prisons, etc. These things are truly
ap])alling."

" My early difficulties with regard to morals,
however, were not as great as when I disco\k
ered that our Protestant neighbours were not
only so benevolent that Roman Catholic beggars
or paupers would go to them for alms rather than
to their wealthy co-religionists, or even to our
priests, who always lived in the midst of abund-
ance, but that these ' heretics,' as we called them,
were also strictly religious, Mingling among
them, as we were compelled to do, I found, to
my surprise, that many of them never partook

STRIKING CONTRASTS.

of their meals without invoking' God's blessino-
upon themselves and the food before them.
Morning and evening their family circles joined
in reading the Bible, also in singing hynnis of
praise, and in prayer — a very pious practice,
which I seldom witnessed among Roman Catho-
lics. The hours of the Sabbath were observed
very sacredly, mostly in reading religious Viooks
and periodicals, and in attending public worship
in churches which T found in every village and
hamlet. The contrast between this state of
things in Vermont and the noise and dissipation
wliich marked the Sabbath in Lower Canada,
just across the line, made a deep impression on
my mind, especially as nothing but the different
religions taught in these places could adequately
account for these different results."

" Give us, please, some idea of the way people
kept the Sabbath in Canada," remarke<l Johnnie.

" The Sabbath there was a grand holiday.
Rum taverns and saloons — kept, in many in-
stances, by leading mend^ers of the Church —
were open all day long and thoroughly patron-
ized, except diiring the hours of mass (the morn-
ing servify.) ami vespers. Between these servic«\s,
in the park right in front of the church, men
and boys, and noi unfre([uently girls, all niem-
bers of the Church, played marl)les, tops, and
ball, while fine horses were paraded about the

I (
lii 1

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

streets to advertise their beauty and speed.
You will scarcely believe nie when I toll you,
that an auctioneer by the name of Deiuers, him-
self a trustee of the church, whose .sons were my
school-mates, immediately after mass, mounted
a block erected for the purpose not more than
twenty feet from the church door, and, after
makinjjf several announcements of cattle straverl
away or articles found, etc., held an auction sale,
at least one day in the year, (>f gar<len seeds,
braids of tlax, skeins of thread or knittinij,- yarn,
vegetables, and live stock. The proceeds of the
sale were turned over to tlie priest for prayers
and masses for the dead. This was always pre-
ceded by a collection in church for the same
purpose. I have seen many a cacklimi' hen and
s<}uealing pig sold in that way."

"What! on the Sabbath:'" exclaimed John-
nie.

" If not on the Sabbath, it was on a ' holy day
of obligation,' which they consider as sacred, and
always after high mass. JUit you must remem-
ber that this was about thirty years ago, when
people in those parts were nuich more ignorant
than now. Those announcements from the
auction-block, made everv Sabbath, were the
only means people had of advertising, for there
were probably not a half-dozen newspapers
taken in the town ; and if a written notice hail

CARDS AND DANCE.

.)o

been posted in a most conspicuous place in the
villa^as not more than one person out of a hun-
dred could have read it. Time, with increasing
liirht, has well-nifjh obliterated the traces ot
such disgraceful scenes in nearly all parts of
that land."

" But what were the private habits of the peo-
ple ? " asked Luella.

" Every house in the village had its pack of
cards, and card-playing and dancing, with more
or less liquor-drinking, were going on in every
direction."

" And did you play cards with the rest ? " she
inqui.t'd feelingly.

" I blush to confess it. 1 have often shudder-
ed when I have thought how near I came to a
gambler's life and a gambler's ruin. You will
not wonder, however, when I tell you how I was
taught and what examples were set before me.
My father took as nuich pains in teaching us the
fi<mr(' of the dance and the ujames at cards as
my moiiier did in teaching us to pray» How-
ever, she did not object to the fun herself, be-
cause this amusement was universal. And as
we kept a small bakery with a restaurant at-
tached — though we sold no li<{uor — this state
of things brought tts no small gain, espi'cially on
the Sabb^' *>ir revenu* was ixreatest in the
se«.son of appies, for then oui house would be

SPIBITVA I, STRUGGLES.

'■■

[

lif

1
i

crowded all day long with those who bought oiir
apples, and then gambled at cards, generally in
a game called Loo. As I was an expert at the
game, I would often win the customers' apples,
and keep them buying more. So this sort of
brigandage would go on throughout the blessed
day, from morning till late at night, except dur-
ing religious services, for these were always
strictly and devotionally attended at the sound
of the bell, and the greater our pleasures and sins
at home the more earnest would be our prayers
at church. And then after vespers, or after-
noon service of song, father and mother would
repair to the priest's house, or ' presbytery,' as it
was called, and spend the remainder of the day
in playing cards with the priest."

" Is it possible ? What ! with a priest pro-
fessing to be one of the apostles of our Lord
Jesus < lirist ^" ejaculated Luella.

" Yes, certainly ; and yet he was one of the
most d+^voted priests when performing the func-
tions of hi- sacerdotal office that I ever saw.
His name was Jran Baptiste Brouillettc. He was
finally selected for his great devotion as a mis-
sionary to the Indians in Oregon, where he taught
the red man the principles of his religion."

" But what would grandfather and grand-
ttiothor say to you when they returned home
from their ministerial games ? "

THE PRIEST AT CARDS.

" O, they would tell us of the splendid times
they had ; how the jovial priest, with his tricks
and cheatings with the cards — all in sport, of
course — would keep the whole company for
hours in an uproar of laughter. Sometimes the
presbytery would be quite full. Now, I assure
you that at times, young as I was, this state of
things strangely puzzled my brain. The change
perceptible on going from Vermont only a few
miles into Canada, it seems to me, must have
been much as when Christ and the favoured
three descended from the Mount of Transfiyfiu^a-
tion into the valley of unbelief and demoniac
possessions."

" Jesus said, * Judge the tree by its fruit,' "
remarked Mrs. Beaudry. " Why did you not
apply the wholesome rule ? "

" The application of this test was often urged
upon my mind, but I regarded it as a temptation.
I endeavoured to reason myself into the belief
that this striking contrast between Protestant
and Romish manners might be traced to natural
causes mainly, such as inherited tendencies, and
the different influence of soil, climate, and
society amid which one is born and educated.
And yet all this failed to satisfy me, and for
several years the subject remained as a knotty
puzzle or profound mystery. '

" But," interrupted Aunt Melie, " with such

Jl.' ■!!!!!,

SPiniTUAL STRUGGLES.

convictions in your mind, and such facts before
your face, what could keep you so long in the
bosom of the Churcli :""

" All, I presume 1 was detained Ijy the same
powerful influences which have for centuries
kei^t thousands of my fellow-religionists."

" This is a great puzzle to my own mind,
father," said Luella, "and if you can, I wish
you would explain it."

"Your request involves the whole subject of
i\\c. pee id uir povjer or influence of the Roman
Cidkollc Ckurcit over her memhers. To present
this subject fully would take more time than
remains to us this afternoon. But you see that
the storm increases, and is becomini>' so fearful
that it is not probable there will ])e any service
at the church to-niuht. In that event we will
meet again about eight o'clock, and 1 will try
to answer your incpiiry."

Our gathering was broken up without forma-
lity, and I was left alone in my room to spend a
few moments in meditation and prayer, until
the sound of the tea-bell should summon me
below.

The Chirch's Pim.aus of Strkxcjth — Nora —
LiMurs Infantum — Don Pio Mortara — Vestments
AND Ornaments — Fete Dieu — Pure Devotion.

"And powor was ^iveii liiin over all kiiulreiU, and toii^ucti, and
nations." — Kei'elation.

Ji#|HERE was no cessation in the storm ; it
ll had ratlier increased. During the even-
jiftw^ ing the wind veered. The cold was
oTowin«i' more and more intense. The
"V^ clouds lo\vered darkly, and prematurely
hid the day, while they poured their watery
contents down in sweeping floods. From their
angry bosoms they belched forth, Vesuvius-like,
their flery breath, hoarsely muttering defiance
to the darkening: ninht. The scene reminded
me of those lines of Thomson : —

" From cloud to cloud thu rending lightnings rage ;
Till, in the furious elemental Wiir
Dissolved, the whole precipitateil mass
Unliroken Hoods and solid torrents pour."

About the time of service I ventured out into
the dark, deserted streets, to ascertain whether

SPIBTTUAL STIiUGGLKS.

there was any probability of a meeting. But
the .sexton had not opened the church door, and
the storm beat mournfully upon the darkened
windows, admonish ino' me to hasten my return
home. A few minutes before the appointed
time we were again in my study. The baby's
cradle was brought up, and he was snugly put
to .»leep.

An interesting episode must here be related.
By this time Nora had become strangely inte-
rested in our study meetings. During the week
the children had given her the substance of our
first interview, and she was greatly pleased with
the candour and Christian charity with which
the whole subject had been treated. And then,
drawn either by her natural curiosity or in-
fluenced by the Hoiy Spirit of God, she had so
adroitly managed the doors leading from ti\e
study to her room, on the same floor, that, un-
observed by us, she overheard nearly all the
conversation of the afternoon, jo-lidino: softlv
down stairs only just in time to prepare our
evening meal.*

A few minutes before the evening gathering

* We do not wisli to be iiiulerstootl as justifying Nora's plan
for eavesdrojiping — a censurable practice, too common with
some children and servants. But in this case the evil was
overruled for good. This once was Nora's only offence, for
which we freely forgave her,

NOP A INTEIiESTED.

she besought tlie children to intercede with me
tliat I would permit her to come in with us.
Of course my consent was readily granted, for
it was just what I desired, though I had not
expected that she would become interested in
the matter so soon. At first, not knowing how
much she knew of our former talks, I was half
inclined to regard her re(|uest as a joke, or to
think that a superstitious dread of being alone
in any room of the house during so terrific a
storm especially in the night, led her to this
desire. But I soon ascertained that she was in
earnest, and that already a deep longing to
know the savinof truth of God's word was
kindled within her. So when the children canie
in, they brought Nora with them.

As Luella came in holding Nora by the hand,
she sat down by her side. As soon as the room
became quiet, she turned to her and said :

" Nora, perhaps you, as well as father, can tell
me what I am especially anxious to know just
now."

Nora hung her head a moment, as if abashed
or a little puzzled, and then replied, " That
depends on what you want to know. I'll tell
you if I can."

"Well, can you tell me what is the chief
corner-stone, or the principal pillar of strength,
in your Church ? "

SPiBiT riA L s T u 11 a a l ks.

Sho hesitated for soim* inoiiionts as if in <leep
study, and then slowly said, " T — suppose, —
cliild, — it is — lier infallibility;" but seeming
not to be fully satisfied herself with the answer,
she added, " Wait a bit, dear ; I think it is
rather her gredt attention to ch'dd'ren.''

" Nora has struck the key-note," 1 said ; " you
may depend upon that. In this matter, how-
ever, Roman (catholics f(^llow illustrious ex-
amples — even that of the old Jewish Cluueh,
and of Clirist, who, setting a chikl in the midst
of his disciples, said, ' Of such is my kingdom,
and all men m^ t become like this child to enter
therein.

" But," .said Aunt Melie, " does the Romi.sh
Church present the .same motives, and does she
act with the same spirit ? "

" Let us examine. In order to reap as great
a harvest here as possible, she .strenuously
teaches that no child dying unbaptized can
possibly enter heaven, but must forever be
detained in a mournful region which .she calls
* Ihnbus iafantiini.' She does not permit
unbaptized children to be buried with others,
but puts them by themselves in a sort of potter's
field."

" There, I thought there was something funda-
mentally wrong," added Aunt Melie, " in her
teaching here. Why, nothing is plainer than

BAI'TISM OF CHILD It EN.

(in

that tin- CMneiiant vvliicli God iiiailc with our
t'atlu'i- AhrahaiH iiichi<l(Ml himself and children,
and that all received circumcision as a neal <>/
t/iiilr (h (■ planer tn'ith. (iod, and not to make
tliem acceptahle. So' now children sliould he
haptized, hccdtim thru alrcdd/j bchmg to Christ
an<l are of his king(U)m, hut not to make them
sue] I. i)a})tism can in no case create the union of
a soul to Christ; it only recognizes and seals ii

" You have planted yuur hannor on scriptural
i;round, I am sure," I replied. '• But the Roman
Catholic Church urL;-es the reverse of this.
Thus she seeks to haptize not only the children
of families where botli pai'cnts are Romanists,
but also where only one of them is in the faith,
and not unfretpiently she reaches tlie children
of those who are wholly non-Roman.* To ac-
complisli this, notwithstanding the sacredness
which the (Jhurch attaches to the sacraments,
she teaches that baptism may be acbiiinistered
l)y any person, in what she calls ' cases of neces-
sity.' *f" This can be (h>ne by a heretic eveUj or

* A Uoiaish priest iiiulcr oiitli not long siiict- made the fol-
lowing stiitt iiient : " I believe I have divine authority to secure
I'lotestant children I'roia their I'rotestant inotliors and yuab'
them ("atliolics. I deny the right of a Protestant minister to
do the same."

t Dr. C'halloner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 24. "Petit
Cat6chisme, " p. 51.

lii

II' ill

SPIRITUAL STIiUGGLES.

by an ij^norant servant-boy or girl, as well as by
a bishop."

So sayini,^. the children turned their eyes to-
ward Nora, Vvho, as I waited a nioiiiont, hoping
she niiglit say something, remarked, " All this is
true, but I wouldn't for the life of me that Pro-
testants generally should know it."

" Why not, if it be true ? " quickly asked
Luella.

" Why, don't you see that many of us poor
servant-girls would be sure to lose our places ?
for Protestants wouldn't have us in their fami-
lies if they knew these things, though we only
do what we are ordered to do by the Church.
And, faith, I have known of several children of
Protestant families brought into our Church in
this very way, when nobody but the prifjst and
myself, or some friend of mine, knew anything
about it, until it was too late for them." Here
she stopped abruptly, became nervous under the
excited gaze of the children, and, indeed, of the
rest of the company, and, as a fearful peal of
thunder shook the house, crossed herself and ex-
claimed, " Ah, me ! may the holy Virgin Mary
and St. Honora, my patron saint, protect me !
for I didn't mean to turn informer on our good
priests, much less on myself. O what would I
give if I had never said a word about it ! "

" Now, Nora," I mildly remarked, hoping to

DON rin Moiri'MiA.

removo her embarrassment, " you need not be so
troubled about what you have said, for, in the
first place, the <^eneral practice of your Church
in this direction was well known to me l)efore
you spoke ; and, in the second place, you ou<^ht
not to be afraid to tell the truth at any time.
It is already a matter of history that in 1858 a
boy, seven years old, named Edgar Mortara, the
son of a Jew at Bologna, then in the Pontifical
States, was forcibly taken from his parents and
placed in a Papal scho(*l at Rome, where he sub-
sequently becaitie a monk in one of the princi-
pal convents, and was known as Don Pio Mor-
tara. The ground on which he was taken w^as
his alleged baptism, when an infant and danger-
ously sick, by a servant-girl in his father's fami-
ly.* In all these cases the little protegf-'n are
looked after with untiring zeal, and, if possible,
brought within the scope of the Church's power.
A child can be taught to believe anything.
Faith, in the human breast, is as spontaneous
and natural as is breathing to the lungs, and no
one ever begins to doubt or question until he is
conscious of having been deceived."

" Mr. Spurgeon recently said," added i>>s. B.,
** ' I have, during the past year, received forty
or fifty children into Church-membership.

* R«;v. S. W. Barnum's *' Hoiuiuiisui As It Is," p. »348.

III

^\i

l»

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

Among those I liavc had at any time to exclude
from Clmrch-t'ellowship, out of a Church of
twenty-seven liundred members, I never had to
exchide a singh) one wlio was received while yet
a cliild.' Even so the Church must learn
that if she would subdue the world to Christ
she nmst bring her children to her altars in very
infancy, and in the family train them thoroughly
for this holy war."

At this point I assured Nora that nothing
she had confessed should be permitted, at least if
I could prevent it, to return upon her to her in-
jury. Meanwhile Luella, in sympathy, had
thrown her arms around the agitated girl, draw-
ing her close to her side, so as to lean her head
upon her shoulder. Quietness having been fully
restored, Johnnie remarked :

" But this does not explain all the power of
the Churcli, does it ? "

" O no. Her power, especially over children
and the masses, is found also in her viethod of ob-
ject-tcachmi/, or use of symbols, vjhieh appeal to
the external sense.''. In this regard she greatly re-
sembles the Jewish Church. The artist is doing
vastly more in the Church than the priest. The
elaborate paintings on the walls of the churches ;
the gorgeous display of ornaments on the high
altars ; the splendid crucifixes and ponderous
statues ; the ever-burning lamps and tapers ; the

\iIGHTS AND SOUNDS.

swin^aiif^ and sniokino- censers ; the oratorios per-
formed in the highest style of the musical art on
pealing organs ; the gaudy attire of vofficiating
priests and acolytes, or attendants, with the
varied and theatrical changes of the services, are
the chief attractions, both gravitating and cohe-
sive, of the Church. Strip her of these, and
wha.t would remain ? Preaching is but a small
item in the services of the Romish Church, and
often tliere is no preaching at* all. The people
are not generally instructed, but amused.

" No pains are spared to vary the above at-
tractions to suit them to the changing seasons
and to all occasions. For instance, during Lent
the churches are draped in mourning, and the
general services are more solemn than usual, cul-
minating in the most funereal solemnities during
Passion Week. The altars are then stripped of
their ornaments, the crucifixes and altar-pieces
are draped or covered, the windows are darkened,
and the lamps so arranged as to shed the most
melancholy light throughout the edifices. On
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings are
celebrated the tenehvw offices, so called from the
Latin word for darkness, because toward the end
of the service all the lights are extinguished, in
memory of the darkness which covered all the
earth while Christ was hanging on the cross ;
and at the close of the offices on Friday right, a

P¥^

in«i

- .

III

; if

i m

SPTh I T TJA /> .S TU VG G I. ES.

noise is made )^y the con<rregati()n's clapping of
liands, or striking the bench before tlieni, to re-
present tlie earthijuake and rending of rocks,
whicli liappened at tlie moment wlien our Lord
expired. This rite is not performed in all ])Iaces,
but usually in metropolitan churches or cathe-
<Jrals.

" From the evening of Good Friday a cenotaph,
or memorial tomb of Christ, is erected near tlie
altar, at which, night and day,two boys belonging
to the choir, and dressed in white ro])es in imita-
tion of the angels, watcli while they read and
repeat solemn prayers. 1 have spent many
liours in these mournful vigils, hoping thereby
to i>ain some areat induljjjence from the Lord.

Odd

We were relieved by others every hour. ])uring
this time a large crucifix, intended to represent
the dead Saviour, is exposed in the church, at a
point convenient of access, and multitudes of
people visit it, and kiss it. These occasions left
a deep impression upon my sympathetic nature.
This service continues until early Easter morn-
ing, at the time that it is supposed Christ rose
from the tomb, when every vestige of mourning
is removed, and the greatest gaiety and jubila-
tion are introduced into every sight and sound.
During the month of May, which is especially
consecrated to the worship of the Virgin Mary,
there is the greatest dis])lay of flowers in the

ft;

VESTMENTS.

churches, and the services are of the most joyful
kind."

" These things are so," said Nora ; " I have
often seen them."

" Certainly ; ' that which 1 have seen and
heard declare I unto you.' And T hav(; still more
to tell you. The vestments of the priests offici-
ating at masses are peculiarly attractive. They
are the amice, the alb, the girdle, the maniple,
the stole, and the chasuble. All these are
tastefully and gaudily made and trimmed. ' In
these vestments,' says Rev. Dr. Challoner,* ' the
Church makes use of five colours — the vAlte, on
the feast of our Lord, of the blessed Virgin, of
the angels, and of the saints that were not
martyrs ; the red, on the feast of Pentecost, on
the invention (discovery) and exaltation of the
cross, and of the apostles and martyrs ; the
(jreeii, on the greatest part of the Sundays; the
violet, in the penitential times of Advent and
Lent, and upon vigils and Ember days ; and the
hlaek, upon Good Friday and the masses for the
dead.'

'' In addition to these symbols, I ought to
mention those employed in Roman Catholic
countries like Lower Canada. Aloni]: most of
the thoroughfares the traveller is surprised to

*«*The Catholic lastriusU'd," p. 82.

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SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

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find every few miles a cross about twenty feet
luf(li, beautified with moslern art, before wliicli
the devout remove tlieir hats as they pass, and
make the sign of the cross upon their breasts,
and around whose base tlie ground is beaten
hard and smooth by tlie knees of tlie peasants
and villagers who come there at eventide to offer
their devotions. The hig est mountains and
hills are also adorned wit crosses, which the
faithful frequently visit i. holy pilgrimages.
Nearly every house, barn, and even outhouse is
surmounted by a cross, many of the citizens
preferring them to lightning-rods, and using them
for the same purpose. -

" Previous to their erection, tho>: ^-rge public
crosses are carried about the streets in pompous
and solemn processions, while music, both vocal
and instrumental, rends the air, and brilliant
flairs and banners float over the assembled
multitudes. B'requently flowers in great pro-
fusion are strewn along the way for the oflici-
ating bishop or priest to walk upon. I have
gathered many a basket of flowers from the fields
for these occasions, thinking that God would
greatly bless me for the deed. Public proces-
sions take place several <lays in the year, the
grandest occurring on what they call the feast of
Corpus Gltristi — the body of Christ. At this
procession, the priest, arrayed iii tlic most gor-

PliOCESSIONS.

geous robes, carries a consecrated wafer, which
is believed now to be the real body of (^hrist, in
a golden pyx oi' ?.»ox, and walks under a beauti-
ful silken canopy borne by four men. He is
preceded by one man with the tiovvers and
another with a smoking censer, who walk back-
ward so as to face the priest, casting the Howers
and swinging the censer, as they keep time with
the music and the movinu: thvoiiijr. Now, when
^''ou consider that all these syndtols and celebra-
tions are regarded as religious services and holy
sacrifices, acceptable to God and l)enetlcial to
souls here and hereaf:ter, you will not won "er
that children and thousands of adults, especially
women, are drawn to the Church l)y them."

" O, how earnest and devoted Roman Catholics
must be to do all these things," said Luella,

" But in what part of the Bible do you Hnd
that God's people are directed or instructed to
worship him in an} such way ^" asked Aunt
Melie. '

*' »/e lind it in our prayer-ljooks, ma'am,"
said Nora ; " and can we do too much for God ? "

"No, indeed," answered Mis. Beaudry, "when
we are guided by his blessed Spirit and word.
But there is a zeal whicli is not according to
knowledge, and wliich is injurious. Jesus has
taught us that God is a spirit, and that true
worshippers nmst worship the Father in spirit

SPJIU T UA L S TR (JL n I ES.

and in truth — that is, in sincerity, under the
guidance ot* the Holy Spirit, and in accordance
with his revealed truth. All our services should
be simple, and thus adapted to a!.i classes of
people — the poor, the ignorant, the sick. They
ought to be the natural outgushings of pure
hearts, spontaneous as the light which emanates
from the sun, silent yet glorious ; or as the water
which flows clear and cool from bubbling springs,
to refresh the flowers that grow along the banks
of the brooklet, and to make the meadows green.
It is, above all things, a pure heart that Jesus
wants ; a heart in which He may dwell, and
make it the temple of the Holy Spirit. All that
we can do with our hands or feet is nothing in
comparison with the heart's pure adoration and
love, and that service of * a quiet and peaceable
life ' which is rendered ' in all godliness and
honesty ' — a life which seeks to know and then
to do the will of God."

" You speak beautifully, ma'am ; I wish I
could speak as well. how long I have desired
to have such a pure heart as you speak of — a
heart that would love and praise God as natu-
rally as flowers exhale their sweet odours, or
even such a one as I think yours must be, which
keeps you calm and gentle in the midst of care
and provocation, and gives you such a happy»
even temper."

in' *

CHILD- J J KE TRUST,

Almost blushing under such an unexpected
sally of praise, Mrs. Beaudry responded : " Why,
Nora, you surprise me ! 1 would advise you
not to take me, or any other creature, for your
model, but take Jesus, who is our only Saviour,
and the perfect pattern of his people. He will
grant you just such a heart and life as you desire,
if you seek it with a right spirit."

Here looking at my watch 1 found that it was
about our u^jual hour for retiring. So inter-
rupting this interesting train of remarks —
though the subject we had been discussing was
not exhausted — I suggested that we must termi-
nate our interview. " But let us first kneel
down to offer our evening prayer, and ask
our heavenly Father for his illumination and
guidance."

This season of devotion was peculiarly refresh-
ing, and at its close we repeated in concert, as we
always do, the following little prayer :

" And now wn lay nsdown to slcop,
We pray tlie Lord our souls to keep ;
And should we die before, we wake,
We pray the Lord our souls to take.
And this we ask tor .lesus' sake. Amen,"

Then the children, as is their habit after all
our family devotions, came each in turn for their
kiss, before 1 rose from my knees ; and when

^t'

Srilil T UA L S Tli UG G LEH.

Mary had cmljiaced me, she naively said, while
yet the storm was liowling tcirrihly witliout:

" Father, tlie Lord can keep us, can't he, al-
tliougli the night is so dark and stormy ?"

" O, yes. my cliild ; lie keeps even the little
birds and insects to-night, so that not one of
them can suffer or fall without his notice. I
can trust you in the care of Him to * whom the
darkness and the light are both alike.' And
now good-night."

As they withdrew through the hall, 1 heard
Luella repeating to the others a few lines of a
favourite hynui from the piMi of Ht'nry Knke
White:

" Y«' winds of ni^'hi, your Unci' »uu\\>\\U' i

Without his high Hi'lu'st,
V»' shall not, iu tlu' nuUintiviu pine,

iMntUVh the MimVVOiW's nrst.

" His vnlcu sublime is heard afar j

In distant peals it dies ;
He yokes the whirlwind to his eai-,

And sweeps the howling skies."

?n\.Aits: OK STUi:>f(!TU— Baixjes- HoiA Watku- Pai,m
liuANniEs - An ALTAu-JioY — Mystkuv and Know-

LKDUK - IMI'LICIT FaITH — BoAHTED UnITY MERE
ToNEORMlTY — InFAI.LIUII.ITY AND ('ONTENTION.

" Ami hi' oauiii;tli all, l)oth siiuill iiiid yreat, rich and jioor, free and hond,
to receive a inatk in their right hainl, or in tlieir foreiieuds."— ^;wtrt/^/),sr.

^HE week had j^dided by without any
^c? sj)ecial incident, save that a deepening
religious feeling v.'^as observable in all,
particularly in Nora, who seemed to hail
^*' the seasons of family prayers with much
more than her former interest. When she first
came to live with us she appeared even loath to
hear us read the Bible lessons, but now she
gladly participated with us in the pleasing
exercise ; and when the Sa1)bath afternoon came,
instead of going to vespers, as she used to do,
she was one of the first to repair to my study to
arrange things for our meeting there.

On assembling this time I told them that T
had already described two of the leading ele-

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SPIUTTUAL STHUGGLES.

merits of power in the Church, answerinff to the
two leading senses in the human ))ody, namely,
seeing an<l hearing, for the eye is delighted to
behold the sym})ols with which the (^uirch is
filled, and the ear is charmed in listening to her
instruments of music and cultured voices ; ))ut
the third element of strength answers very
nearly to feeling. It is this: T/te Church In-
f/evioudy Jurni»hf8 to every one of her members,
old and young, good, had, and indifferent, some-
thing considered, religious to do or hear in
nearly (dl her services, and every day of life.

" What does she give children to do ? " asked
Johnnie, who is always ready to act as well as
to think. " Does she let them sine: ? "

" Most certainly ; their choirs are largely made
up of children, and thus become the more attrac-
tive. But then this is not all they let the chil-
dren do. When a large cross was consecrated and
erected at Henry ville, I carried a beautiful cruci-
fix which my mother had purchased for me ; and
there was scarcely a child or adult but had either
a crucifix, or a medal, or a prayer-book, or a,
string of rosary beads, or a scapular."

" What do you mean by this last

again in-

quired Johnnie.

" I shall have to tell you some other time, at
least if you can wait."

KVhlUY ONE A HADdN.

"rertainly ; but what (lid you do with tliosu
things tliure ^ "

" When tlie hishop sprinkled tlie ^reat cross
with holy water, and afterward tin- multitudes,
these crucifixes and other thinijfs w»'re helu out
so as to receive at least a drop ol the water,
after which they wer^i said to be endowed with
great spiritual, and even miraculous, power.
For instance, if any one was taken suddenly
and dangerously ill, the crucifix would be laid
on his breast until the parish prii st arrived to
administer what they call the ' sacrament of
extreme unction.' The crucifix was supposed to
have power to prolong the life of the invalid, at
least until the priest's arrival.
• " My mother used to t.ilk to us for hours about
the miracles performed by these and other
sacred relics. Our pi'ayer-books and books of
instruction were also full of these accounts.
The crucifix I carried on the day referred to
was sacredly preserved in the family for at least
a score of years, and was always resorted to in
hours of trouble and danger."

" But, father, are these the only occasions in
which every one can do something w^hich is con-
sidered especially pious ? " asked Luella.

" No, indeed. At least once a year, on Maun-
dy-Thursday of Passion Week (the last week of
Lent), the same day on which the Pope and

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WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580

(71«) 873-4503

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

bishops consecrate the holy chrisTn, or oil of
olives and balm of Gilead, as they say it is, a
large tub or hogshead of pure water is brought
into the church."

" O how funny ! " exclaimed Mary. " Do they
bring it there to swim in, father ? "

" Why no, my child. It is brought there to
be made into holy water.''

" I should like to know how that is done,"
observed Luella.

" I will try to tell you. The priest and his at-
tendants gather around the tub or vessel, sing
Latin hymns, and repeat prayers and litanies ;
then he casts a little salt, previously exorcised
by solemn ceremony, into the water, saying, ' I
exorcise thee, creature of water, in the name
of God the Father Almighty, and in the name
of Jesus Christ His Son our Lord, and in the
virtue of the Holy Ghost, that thou mayesfc by
this exorcism have power to chase away all the
power of the enemy ; that thou mayest be
enabled to cast him out and put him to flight,
with all his apostate angels, by the virtue of the
same Jesus Christ our Lord, who is to come to
judge the living and the dead, and the world by
fire. Amen.' " *

•Dr. Challoner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 203.

HOLY WATER.

"But what do they mean by the word
exorcisrn? "

" I will give you the definition of the Church :
' The rites and prayers instituted by the Church
for casting out devils, or restraining them from
hurting persons, disquieting places, or abusing
any of God's creatures to our harm.' When the
above prayers have been duly repeated, the
water is pronounced holy."

" What do they do with this water ? " inquired
Johnnie.

"Thc3 dses are various. Some is kept in a
font by the church door for every one who
enters or retires to sprinkle himself with ; the
altar and the people are sprinkled with it at the
beginning of mass ; it is sprinkled upon the
coiRns and graves of the dead ; on the ashes used
on Ash-Wednesday ; on the ring used at mar-
riage ceremonies, and on persons consecrated to
any special religious purpose. It is also em-
ployed in the baptism of persons and things
considered sacred, such as church bells, candles
or tapers for the altar, ,c to burn by the side
of the dead ; and the sick-room is usually well
furnished with it.

" On the days when it is made, every family,
and sometimes every member of the family,
brings a bottle or vial, which is filled with the
consecrated element; and every home is thus

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SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

supplied. It is recommended by the authorities,
as you might infer from the prayer of conse-
cration, as being very sacred, and securing God's
protection and blessing upon those who use it ;
and, like the crucifixes and other things men-
tioned before, it is believed to have power to
work miracles, partiiiularly upon those occasions
when it is used against magical enchantments
and the power of the devil." *

" O, it is only the ignorant and superstitious
who believe in such trinkets," said Nora, who
had been quiet for some time, but now felt her-
self called out to vindicate her Church.

" You forget, I fear, Nora, that these ' trinkets,'
as you style them, are things solemnly conse-
crated by bishops and priests who teach the
people in thoir Catechisms that they are impor-
tant, and should be used in their devotions. It
is rather the unbelieving who refuse to accept or
use them."

, " You are right, I must confess," she replied ;
"I know it, though I earnestly wish it were
otherwise."

" On Palm-Sunday," I continued, " the first
day of Passion Week, there is another great
procession, ^he streets having been previously
adorned with evergreens. Bishop Fenwick tells

* Rt. Rev. Bp. Fenwick's "Catholic Catechism," p. 82.

PALM BRANCHES.

us that this is in honor of our Lord's triumphant
entry into Jerusalem, and is so called from the
palm branches strewed under his feet by the
Hebrew children. On this day the Church
blesses palms, that is, sprinkles them with holy
water, and make.« a solemn procession, in memory
of the triumph of our Saviour, the people Ijear-
ing palm branches. Thus, besides participating
in the procession, every one, old and young,
carries a twig of spruce, hemlock, or pine, as a
part of the religious ceremony. After the sprig
is sprinkled, it is taker home and carefully
preserved."

" But what good does it do ? " inquired
Johnnie.

" The people are taught that it is a sure pro-
tection from injury by the elements as well as
from the attacks of Satan. I well recollect
when, at the beginning of such a storm as pre-
vailed last Sabbath, my mother would say to us,
' Apportez le rameaitj — bring the branch ; and
then plucking the leaflets she would put them
into our hair, and piously sprinkle us with holy
water ; and then at every gleam of lightning we
made the sign of the cross upon ourselves, and
felt perfectly secure. Many Roman Catholics
believe that these things will often divert storms
from their destined course, and also quench the

violence of fire."
6

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SPIRT TUAL STRUGGLES.

" How is it, then," inquired Johnnie, " that
Romish countries, even more, I think, than
Protestant, are so fre(^uently visited with dread-
ful storms, hurricanes, and earthquakes; and
that fires are so prevalent in Roman Catholic
cities, often burning their churches and schools,
as was the case in Montreal, July 8th and 9th,
1852, as I remember reading ? The destruction
was terrible, and mostly of Roman Catholic
property."

" Look right at home," added Luella. " You
remember how llo-htning: struck one of the turrets
of St. Joseph's Church, and damaged the build-
ing, while no other church was touched. And
also in the terrible calamity that laid Chicago
in ashes, but a short time ago, Romish churches
and convents formed no barrier to the tide of
fire which swept them away." Then turning to
Nora she said, ** And what do you think about
these facts, which you know as well as the rest
of us ? "

" Like most children," answered Nora, appear-
ing a little provoked, " you ask more questions
than anybody can answer. At the same time, I
am led to suspect that there is a great deal of
hollow pretence in the Church."

" Be this as it may," I interrupted, " you can
see what power these teachings exercise over the
people, as they constantly participate in such

AN ALT AB- BOY.

services at home and at chiircli. This was espe-
cially the case with our family. My parents
were not only prominent and devoted members
of the Ohurch, but my father was for many
years a leading singer in the choir, and also
belonged to the board of ' syndics,' or officers of
the Church. To complete our attachment, your
Uncle Charles and myself were put into the
choir — made enfant s de chceur, or altar-boys, as
we were called — where we not only sang, but
frequently took our turns in waiting on the
priest during mass and vespers. We were
dressed in long flowing gowns ; and if you will
look at the pictures in Bishop Fenwick's Cate-
chism, beginning at page 02, you will see what
we mainly had to do. We engaged in those
ceremonies with great devotion. It required
lono' and tedious training to learn the Latin
service, with its many responses, not a word of
which we understood ; and also to know at
what time to raise the trail of the priest's
chasuble ; to ring a little bell ; to bow^ here and
go there ; to give the priest his portion of wine ;
then water to wash his fingers in imitation of
Pilate, and to perform our part in the varying
scenes of this long religious drama. But having
learned these things thoroughly, we were the
more punctual in our attendance at church, for
whole months together going every day. Low

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SPIIilT UA L S Tli UGG L KS.

mass, as it is called, is celebrated every iiit ruing
of week days throughout the year, except on
Good Friday, and high mass on Sundays. Low
mass is sometimes celebrated on Sunday also.
The latter is simply spoken, and sometimes so
rapidly, especially by some priests, that you can
distinguish only a continuous buzz ; but the
former is sung or chanted by the priest and the
whole choir in very grand style."

"I would certainly like to attend the ser-
vices you have been describing," said Luella.
" Won't you take me to them some time ? "
'•' And won't you take me too ? " asked Johnnie.
" And me too, father ? " followed Mary.
" Yes, children, at the very first opportunity
you shall see for yourselves at least some of the
things I have attempted to describe ; and if I
can't go with you, perhaps Nora will be willing
to go in my place."

" I don't know about that," replied Nora, with
a peculiar twinkle in her eyes. " Your talk
makes me feel almost ashamed of the whole
thing ; and then if I should take the children,
I'm a little afraid they might ask me too many
questions."

" Never mind now ; we'll try to make this all
right somehow." Having called their attention
from this thing, I said,

" I want to mention now another element of

MYSTEBY AND KNOWLEDGE.

power in the Church, the mystery with which
she invests every religious suhjedJ'

*' Is it not true," asked Nora, " that religion
is a very mysterious thing ? "

" I admit that in revelation, as in nature,
there are many mysteries ; but there are also
many things which can he well known and
imderstood. For instance, who can solve the
mystery of nutrition even ? Who can tell us
how food taken into the stomach becomes blood,
bones, nerves, muscles, tissues, nails, hair, etc. ?
Yet who does not know and cannot tell us when
his hunger is satisfied and his body strengthened
by nourishment ? Thus the known and the
unknown go hand in hand all the way through
the operations of nature. The same is true in
revelation, showing the God of the one to be
the God of the other also. But the Romish
Church makes no such distinction as nature and
revelation indicate. She robes every phase of
religion in profound mystery, forgetting that
while it is true that we cannot know everything
about anything, it is equally true that we may
positively know something about everything.
Hence she says, ' Away with your reason when
you come into the temple of God ! ' To add
force to this teaching, she worships in an
unknown tongue : she complicates her system
with numerous classes of priests and ' religious,'

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S PTlUr UA L N T h' U(i d f. KS.

male and i'eiiiali!, cacli with tlu'ir fstranoo and
mystic garb, making them appear like different
orders of beings from the common people ; and
when science, however strongly intrenched, con-
tradicts her theories, she blindly rejects the
known truth for her favourite mysteries. Recall
the history of Galileo and hundreds of others.
But God addresses man thus, ' (Jome now, and
let us reason together.' There nnist, therefore,
be some religious subjects which the reason can
grapple with an.l ought to solve. ' Prove all
things,' says Paul, ' hold fast that which is good.' "

" Our priests tell us that we must believe and
receive all that they teach us without asking any
questions for conscience' sake," remarked Nora,
*' because, they say, he who questions shows
doubts, and the Scriptures declare that ' he that
doubteth is damned.' "

" This is a favourite text of theirs, 1 know, and
their comment upon it is drawn from the Sa-
viour's own words to doubting Thomas, * Blessed
are they that have not seen and yet have
believed.' Bishop Fenwick, in his Catechism,
is heard asking the children of his diocese,
(Boston, Mass.) —

" ' How shall we know the things which we
are to believe ? '

" ' Answer. From the Catholic Church of God,
which he has established by innumerable mi-

WHAT dHUliCH.'

rcacles, and illustrated by the lives and deaths
of innumerable saints.'

" And further on he asks again : —

" ' Are we bound to obey the commandments
of the Church ? '

" * Yes ; because Christ has said to the pastors
of his Church, He that heareth you heareth me ;
and he that despiseth you despiseth me.' "

" Are not all these thinfjs in the Bible ? "
asked Nora.

" Certainly ; but we are to exercise our reason
as to luhat Church has the Divine authority to
command and to teach, for Christ said, 'Ye shall
know them by their works, as trees are known
by their fruits ; ' and even then we are not to
receive their doctrines with a thoughtless assent,
or without the closest scrutiny. Each member
of the Church has a duty here, as well as his
instructors ; he must know these things for
himself, at least as far as experimental and practi-
cal religion is concerned. Every true believer
will admit that there is much mystery as to the
sources or causes of redemption, yet nothing is
plainer from Scripture, or more clearly exem-
plitied in the experience of thousands of
Christians, than that he who accepts pardon
may knoiu it, so that it becomes at last a matter
of experience. Paul says, 'And without con-
troversy great is the mystery of godliness : God

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.SJ'IlilTUAL STRUGGLES.

was vianifed in the flesh, justified in the Spirit,
seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles,
believed on in the 'world, received up into glory.'
Here we have the incarnation of Christ as a
glorious mystery, but his manifestation was well
known to ann|;els and to men, challenixinfj the
admiration of the former and the faith of the
latter. And Peter, writing to his brethren of
Christ, says : ' Whom having not seen ye love ;
in whom, though now ye see him not, yet
believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and
full of glory, receiving (now) the end of your
faith, even the salvation of your souls." Here
we see the true meaning of the text, ' Blessed
are they that have not seen and yet have
believed.' It is believing in Christ, and not in
men."

" Why, father," said Johnnie, " your talk re-
minds me of telegraphing ; you know how mys-
terious all the operations are, but the messages
are easily understood."

" The Scriptures are full of this thought," I
replied. " The young man born blind, speaking
of Christ to the Pharisees, who were questioning
him about his recovery, exclaimed, ' Whether
he be a sinner or no, I know not,' that is a
mystery to me ; ' one thing I know, that
whereas I was blind, now I see.' "

IMPLICIT FAITH.

" May we know it for sure :* " inquired Nora
lonc^ingly.

" Yes, indeed," responded two or three voices
in the room.

" Job said," I added, " ' I know that uiy Re-
deemer liv^eth.' Paul: 'I know wliom I have
believed.' John: 'We know that wo have
passed from death unto life.' This is the
uniform and univ^ersal testimony of the word of
God. But the teachinir of the Roman Catholic
Church upon this point has its desi(>ned effect.
She seems to regard the common people as a
herd of imbeciles, and by her treatment reduces
many of them to mere automatons. We had a
good illustration of this a few days ago. The
following conversation took place between a
Protestant drayman and a Romish coalheaver : —
. " * Patrick, what do you believe ? '

" * B'lave, shure, ' replied Patrick, ' I b'lave
what the Roman Catholic Church b'laves.'

" ' Well, Patrick, what does the Church
believe ? '

" * Shure, man, the Church b'laves what I
b'lave.'

" ' Now, Patrick, what do you both believe ? '

" * Well, by my sowl, sir, we both b'lave alike.' "

"This is implicit faith. Thus the Church
steals away the brains of her people and
stultifies them. She quenches in them all desire

•H

Ill

SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES.

1 1

I i\

1 1
1

jii

I'i

I;, ,

(J 1

to use their reasoninof faculties on relioiious sub-
jects, while she invests herself, and especially
the priesthood, with an undefined, mysterious
power which is almost omnipotent with the
masses of her people."

"If indeed the Roman Catholic Church is
wrong," said Nora thoughtfully, "how shall
poor sinners learn where to go among so many
different Protestant Churches ? "

" Your question reminds me of another great
element of power in your Church, which, as I
shall explain it, will, I trust, throw some light
upon this subject, and that is her boasted unity
as against Portestant sectarianism. However,
let us not confound unity with mere conformity.
She brandishes before the nations the beautiful
Latin tongue which she employs in all her
services, endeavouring thereby to impress them
with the belief that all her people, or those who
hold to her general confession of faith, are one
in feeling, in doctrine, in practice. On the
other hand, she affirms that Protestants are
divided into numberless petty sects or denomi-
nations, as antagonistic to each other as they
are to the Roman Catholic Church, and that the
Protestant world is as much confused as was
ancient Babel. * According to their own teach-
ing,' she says, 'there must be an Episcopalian
God, a Presbyterian God, a Methodist God, and

UNITY OR CONFOliMITY.

a Baptist God, certainly as many deities as
there are sects , ' and she asserts that the most
charitable conclusion to be drawn is, that
Protestantism is a grand religious farce, or a
horrible rebellion against God, adapted to satisfy
the caprice of vicious, designing men."

" But what are the facts in the case ? " asked
Aunt Melie.

" Here they are : that the ditferences among
Protestants are so slight as scarcely to be worth
mentioning ; that they generally relate to Church
government or discipline, and not to doctrines ;
and that these differences are far less than those
found in the organizations of the different
societies, confraternities, or sodalities, etc., of
monks and nuns, or ' brothers ' and ' sisters,' in
the Roman Catholic Church. I mean the
Jesuits, the Sulpicians, the Dominicans, the
Franciscans, etc., etc. Our Protestant denomi-
nations may well be compared to the different
tribes of Israel, or to the different regiments of
an army, each with its peculiar badges or
insignia, its peculiar uniform and equipment,
suited to the arm of service to which it
belongs, but all under the command of one
General, actuated by one common impulse and
motive, and accomplishing one great work. In
proof of this statement I cite the general organi-
zations to which all evangelical denominations

! ; I

• ii

! .

Ttqi

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

belong, such as the American and Foreign
Christian Union, the American Bible Society,
the Evangelical Alliance, and the Young Men's
Christian Associations. Here is still more con-
vincing proof, in the fact that our religious
services are attended by members of all denomi-
nations indiscriminately ; that ministers of dif-
ferent Churches exchange pulpit labours ; and
that many of the members of some Churches
were converted at the altars of others, and vice
versa.

"Furthermore, every careful reader of the
times can see that while Protestants are becom-
ing more and more alike in their prinf^iples and
spirit, Roman Catholics, on the other hand, are be-
coming more and more unlike each other. Witness
the dissensions and divisions among Romanists
during the discussions, and since the procla-
mation, of the dogma of the Pope's infallibility.
This doctrine has fallen among them as a bone
of contention, though the masses had long been
trained for its reception. This was the case also
with the doctrine of the Virgin Mary's immacu-
late conception. The doctrine that the Pope is
infallible was taught me more than thirty years
ago. I was told that the priest receives his power
from the bishi p, he from the archbishop, this
from the cardinal, and the last from the Pope."

"But where does the Pope get his power

^^rff

INFALLIBILITY AND CONTENTION. 93

from ? " inquired Johnnie, who is always anxious
to probe things to the bottom.

" Directly from God, with whom, I was taught,
he communicated at least once a year by means
of a letter."

" 0, how I would like to be the Pope's post-boy
then ! " he jokingly added, causing a little
laughter.

" But now, while some countries and prelates
accept the doctrine, many reject it, notwith-
standing the appeals and threats made to them ;
until at last the Pope hurls his dreadful
anathema at no less a scholar and Christian
than Dr. Von Dollinger, of Bavaria, whose
opposition is sustained by the leading univer-
sities and professors of his own and other lands.
Thus a party of ' Old Catholics,' as they very
correctly call themselves, is forming, which
threatens the Roman Catholic Church '.vith
dismemberment and discomfiture, at least in
Germany."

"The sk}^ reddens with wrath," said Aunt
Melie, "against the Pope and his party in
Europe."

" It is true," I added, " for even papalized
Italy, by a unanimity of voice and vote seldom
paralleled in the history of nations, ejects the
sovereign (?) pontiff* from the throne of his
regal power, against his most solemn protests

t i I:

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

and warnings. They persist in their course like
one v/ho tries to slough off from his vitals a
deadly, putrid cancer, notwithstanding the plead-
ings of Roman Catholic France, for so many years
the mainstay of the Pope, but now, through her
own arrogance, most pitifully humbled in her
unsuccessful contest with Protestant Prussia.
Italy has not even heeded the prayers of Roman
Catholics in America, who paraded our streets
in mammoth processions, and were harangued
on the subject by their leading men in their
grand churches and cathedrals. There is no
union of heart between different Romanized
nations, but rather enmity, as, for instance,
between the French and Irish in this country.
A sample of this was given recently in the city
of Quebec. And yet you must remember that
all these schisms are occurring among a people
who boast of being governed by one head, and
in whose Catechisms we are told that ' the Pope
is the Bishop of Rome, the first of bishops, the
Successor of St. Peter, the Vicar of Jesus Christ
on earth, the centre of Catholic unity, and
visible Chief of the Church.' *

" On the other hand, the oneness of Protest-
ants is not derived from any centralization of
power in one man or a select few, but they are

' Petit Oat^chisme, p. 24.

THE CHURCH'S PILLARS OF STBENGTH. 95

drawn together by their common attachment to
the truth of God — by the unifying inf^ 'ence of
a pure Christianity. It is the 'unity of the
Spirit in the bond of peace.' If this was not
strictly true of Protestants in the distant past,
it is true of them to-day ; and may it please the
Lord to make it true, sooner or later, of all the
nations and peoples who profess the Christian

name ! "
"Amen!"

responded my auditors, whose in-
terest had waxed stronger as I advanced with
my argument.

At this interesting point of our discussion our
door-bell was rung, and a messenger, who had
come in great haste, announced that one of our
Sunday-school scholars, having been taken sud-
denly ill, was lying apparently at the point of
death and was very anxious to see me. So,
leaving my compan}^ I hastened to relieve, as
far as possible, the wants of the dying scholar.
I found him very near the gates of death, but
in a very happy frame of mind. He told me of
his child-like trust in Jesus, who had forgiven
all his sins, and thus prepared him for this last
change. How heavenly was the influence of the
chamber of death as we joined in singing :

** Jesus can make a dying bed

Feel soft as downy pillows are,
While on His breast 1 lean my head,
And breathe my life out sweetly there."

I I

To Whom My Sins Confess /—Monsikir ({rknikr—
Agreement and Disagreement — Confessional
Described — Preparations for Con fession — One
Mediator.

" If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." — ,fohn.

|HE week had been eventful. With the
children and their mother I had visited
St. Joseph's Roman Catliolic Church,
where we spent some time in interesting
observation and study. Meanwhile we
had formed what seemed to be, especially at this
time, a providential acquaintance, under the
f ollowinof circumstances. One evenino; I received
a letter from a ministerial brother in a neigh-
bouring parish, which ran thus : —

" Dear Brother : — Your help is very much
needed. A French Roman Catholic, a young
man of intelligence and refinement, called on me
last night to ask me some questions about his
and our religion. He says he felt well enough

TO WHOM MY SINS vONFESS !

1)7

till he got hold o£ a Bible, since which time he
has had no peace of inind. About two weeks
aixo he thouufht he would Ijecome insane it* he
did not get help. I talked and prayed with
him, and gave him Wesley's Sermons and Peck's
Rule of Faith as the best books I could think of
in my possession, and told him of you. His eye
brightened when I told him I would cro with
him to see you. He is anxious to come imme-
diately. . . . Yours fraternally,

"Joel K. Wager."

The young man's name and place of business
were given, and an answer was desired to
inform them when I would be home, with leisure
to meet them. But I was too much interested in
the case to wait for the return of mail, so I
went early the next morning and found him.
His name is Charles Wiilie Grenier. Thoujrh
thoroughly educated in the College of the
Jesuits in Montreal, and, up to the time of his
getting a Bible, only a few months ago, passion-
ately devoted to the Church, with an uncle in
the priesthood and all his fandly in the faith, I
found him grasping evangelical teaching with
wonderful eagerness, and resolved at any cost
to seek the truth as it is in Jesus. He assured
me that all the efforts of his priest to turn his

V ■

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

mind from this direction only drove him further
from that Church.

Our interview was mutually agreeable, and he
promised to spend a Lord's day with me,
requestini^ the privilege of participating with
the family in our afternoon seance in my study,
as I had not failed to inform him of our ar-
rangement. This privilege was readily granted,
and when the time arrived his presence among
us added nmch to the enthusiasm already
kindled. His language, though chaste, was
nevertheless considerably broken ; and when he
failed to express his views with sufficient
clearness in English, he would politely ask the
ladies to excuse him, while he took the liberty
of speaking to me in his " helle langue Fran-
gaise" as he called his vernacular. This gave
fresh interest to our subjects, and introduced a
novelty with which the children especially were
greatly delighted. Even Nora, though at first
a little shy of him, was charmed with the
urbanity of his manners. After a few prelimi-
naries Monsieur Grenier remarked : —

" There is one thing about Protestants I am
very anxious to learn {je desire ardemment
d apprendre) , whether there is any subject in
religion upon which they agree, in the main,
with Roman Catholics."

" There is no lack of such subjects, I assure

AGREEMENTS.

you," I replied. " Here is one right at hand and
familiar to us all : it is sin. I ought, perhaps,
to remark at the very outset that however
much men may differ in their theories, they
generally agree in matters ot* experience. And
with regard to this subject of sin, Protestants
and Romanists perfectly agree,

" 1st. That we are all sinners ; that ' all we
like sheep have gone astray,' ' for all have
sinned and come short of the glory of God.'
Here there is no difference between Jew and
Gentile, between priest and people.

" 2nd. We agree that sin is the cause of all
human misery ; that it separates the soul from
God, and puts men at war with Him, with one
another, and with themselves.

" 3rd. We agree that since all sin is hateful in
the sight of God, it causes the fear of death ;
that while 'the wages of sin is death,' the
' sting of death is sin '

" 4th. We agree that no sin can enter heaven ;
that the soul nmst be perfectly free from sin
and all its stains to enter into that holy place,
for ' without holiness no man shall see the Lord.'

"5th. We agree that Jesus Christ became a
sin-offering for us ; that he is ' the Lamb of God
which taketh away the sin of the world.' In
my Little Catechism the question is asked
* What did Jesus Christ accomplish on the

TOO

SPIRIT U A L S TR V(i OL ES.

;

( i

n ii'i

1 ^

earth ? ' The answer is, * He taught men to
live holy, and merited or obtained tor them the
grace so to do.' This we all fully hold.

" ()th. We furtlier at^ree that to ^:et rid of our
sins we nmst confess them. This we all believe
must be done with the deepest sorrow for having
offended God, and with a full determination to
abandon every sinful thing, and to live wholly
devoted to God. On the OOth page of my ' Petit
Catechisme ' is taught this wholesome truth :
' Sin being the greatest of all evils, the sorrow
for having committed it must be the greatest of
all sorrows.' In this teaching we not only agree
with one another, but also with holy writ,
which says, ' He that covereth his sins shall not
prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh
them shall have mercy.' "

" But," interrupted Nora, " I have always
thought that Protestants did not believe at all
in the confession of sins ; so, at least, I have
been taught by our priests."

" Most assuredly we do ; we not only believe
in it, but practise it."

"What! in the confessional, to the ears of a
priest ? "

" O no, not that. And here our agreement
with Romanists on this sul>ject ceases ; but let
us discuss it in the light of reason and revelation."

" But I should like to know, ' said Luella,

DTSAdUHHMHNTS.

101

" what tlie Roiiiisli (/luncl) teaches with regard
to confession.'*

"My C^atecliisiii and parents taught me as fol-
lows : ' That confession is a declaration which one
makes of his sins to a priest, in order to ohtain
pardon or absolution.' Such a confession is con-
sidered a very solemn thing, and is called the
' sacrament of penance.' It is said to be neces-
sary to salvation, except in extreme cases. It
must be ' humble, sincere, and entire.' Not
onb"" 's each sin to be revealed, but also the
number of times each sin has been conniiitted
either in thought, word, or «leed, wath every
attendant circumstance, including even dreams,
with their effect upon waking thoughts and
actions. Purposely to neglect to confess any
sin, or even to forget a sin or grave circumstance
of a sin for want of sufficient self-examination,
would in either case constitute a sacrilege.* In
order to guard this point, numerous stories like
the following are related in nearly all their
books of instruction to the young : ' A young
lady of eighteen was guilty of a secret sin which
she was ashamed to confess. She was soon
brought upon a bed of death, ,\ ".ere she was
tormented and in despair. She died, and three
days after she appeared to one of her friends in

* Dr. (.'lialloi;.M's "Catholic Iii.stni.-t<Ml," |,. 101

« III

102

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

a vision and spoke these words, " Do not pray
any more for me, sister," (this friend supposed
her to be in purgatory,) " I am damned on
account of a sin committed alone. I mii:ht have
easily ol)tained pardon hy confessing it, but a
criminal shame always led me to conceal it ; and
thus in abusinix confession and the blood of
Jesus Christ, I have brought upon myself the
deepest danmation." She then uttered a groan
and disappeared.' "

" It is also currently reported among college
students," said Monsieur Grenier, "that if one is
inclined to hide a sin from the priest, the con-
fessor presently sees a huge serpent's head pro-
truding from the sinner's mouth, and in case
the sin is not confessed, the serpent is withdrawn
into the bosom of the wretch who dares thus
attempt to deceive God. Then if he persists in
communing unworthily, the wafer will be
metamorphosed into an ugly toad {vun crapaud
difforme) on his tongue."

" Hence you can judge," I continued, " that
to make a thorough confession must require
several days of careful study, compelling one to
consult the long lists of questions for self-
examination to be found in all the prayer-books.
To assist the memory some persons carefully
write a catalogue of their sins, though they are
not permitted to hand this black account to the

PRE PA RA TIONS FOR THE CONFESSIONAL. 1 03

priest, for with their own lips they must declare
it in his ear."

" But I should think people would get so
frightened on these occasions," said Johnnie,
" as to forget about all they ever did or thought."

" In order to avoid the confusion as far as
possible, children are sent to the confessional
very young, and often simply tl<at they may
learn how to perform or behave when they
come to the thing in earnest. They are also
thoroughly instructed beforehand by their pa-
rents and teachers, and the confessionals are
generally so arranged as to hide them entirely
from the view of others, while the priest can
be seen only through a narrow grate at which
he puts his ear. Tlien, versed as he is in all the
prevailing sins of the day and place, lie is well
prepared to give the penitent a thorough cate-
chising, which most priests always do. In this
way treacherous memories are quickened."

" O, I remembe^ that you showed us two con-
fessionals in St. Joseph's," said Luella. " They
looked like large portable wardrobes, with a
partition through the middle, making two little
rooms, with a small grate between them, about
opposite to the head of a person sitting in a
chair."

" You have described them perfectly. Some-
times, however, they consist of one apartment,

104

SPIRIT UAL STIi UGGLES.

enclosed by a thick curtain. 1 liave myself
frequently been to confession in such a place,
',vhere I knelt right by the side of the priest.
Kirwan,' in his letters to Bishop Hughes,
giving some of his early impressions upon this
subject, says, ' Father M. frequently held his
confessions at our house. He sat in a dark room
up stairs with one or more candles on a table
before him. Those ii'oino; to confession followed
each other on their knees from the front door,
through the hall, up the stairs, and to the door
of the room. My turn came ; I entered the
room, from which the light of day was excluded,
and bowed myself before the priest. He made
over me the sign of the cross, and after saying
something in Latin, he ordered me to commence
the detail of my sins. Such was my fright that
my memory soon failed in bringing up my past
delinquencies. He would prompt me, and ask.
Did you do this thing, or that thing ? I would
answer yes, or no. And when I could say no
more, he would wave his hand over me and
again utter some words in Latin, and dismiss
me.' Thus, like ' Kirwan, I was sent many
times to confession when I was young, and as I
was quick to learn I soon became very thorough
and accurate. And though the law of the
Church requires confession but once a year,
enjoining it as a special duty of the Lenten

I I

:,i:

CONFESS TO THK ONE OFFENDED. 105

season, I followed the exainp'o of tliose who
confess nearly every week. "

"All this accords perfectly with my own
experience," said Monsieur Orenier, " but really
I would like to know what Protestants teach
about confession."

" Simply this, that we are to confess to the
being or person whom we have oilended. This
is the only rule of Scripture, and it accords
perfectly with reason. ' Confess your faults one
to another,' said James. This compels the
priest to confess to the people, as well as the
people to him. The rule is further explained
by our blessed Saviour as follows : ' If thy
brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell
him his fault between thee and him alone.'
Not a word is to be said to the Church, including
its pastor, until all other means have failed, and
then the whole Church is to be a witness, or sit
as a jury. In his sermon on the mount Christ
said, ' Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the
altar and' there rememberest that thy brother
hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift
before the altar, and go thy way ; first be
reconciled to thy brother.' Now the priest is
supposed to be at the altar, but this connnand
sends him away from the altar to confess to his
brother and be reconciled, without the inter-
ference of the priest. Again, we read in the

W-' ■'{

106

SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES.

imm

Gospel, 'Then came Peter to him and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me
and I forgive him ? till seven times ? ' Mark,
that Peter speaks of personal offences. Jesus
tells him that in such cases he must forgive
' seventy times seven.' "

" What, father," quickly inquired Johnnie,
" four hundred and ninety times ? "

" Yes, my son. This is probably the product
of ' sacred numbers,' as they are called, meaning
that in no case are we to retain resentment
toward a sincere penitent. This is further
illustrated in the Lord's prayer by the petition,
' Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them
that trespass against us.' "

" These passages evidently relate to offences
between man and man," again said Monsieur
Grenier, " in which satisfaction or restitution is
to be made ; but how is it with sins against a
community ? "

"Apply the rule given before: Confession
must be made to the community. And only
this kind of confession, except in case of personal
offences, was known even in the Roman Catholic
Church until the days of Pope Leo the Great." *

" And was he indeed the first,' spoke Monsieur
Grenier quite indignantly, " who delivered over

* See the following authorities : Bingham, Orig. Eccl., book
-wiii., chiiji. iii. DailU, D'' Couffss. Auricular, iv. 25, etc.

SCRIP TUBES FALSELY APPLIED. 107

the conscience of the people into the hands of
the priests, and consigned the most secret acts
and thoughts of individual imperfection to the
torture of private inquisition and scrutiny ! "

" And yet," I added, " the present authorities
of the Church quote the following passages in
answer to the question, ' What Scripture do you
bring to recommend the confession of our sins
to God's ministers ? " * Here is the first : ' When
a man or woman shall commit any ;sin that men
commit, to do a trespass against the Lord, and
that person be guilty, then they shall confess
their sin which they have done." Num. v. G, 7.
Now, as no priest is mentioned in this passage,
unless auricular confession can be proved from
some other passage it does not answer the above
question, but serves only to mislead. But
auricular confession cannot be maintained from
the Old Testament ; hence the Rev. Dr. Challoner
has misapplied the word of God, as the above
confession was undoubtedly public. The second
passage he adduces is the example of the people
who came to John the Baptist, and were
baptized of him, ' confessing their sins.' Matt,
iii. 0. Now, we may ask, If this was auricular
confession, of whom had John learned the
practice ? and where was his confessional, with

* Chnlloner's "Catholic Instrurt.Ml," [.p. 91). 100.

I OS

SP] HIT UAL STRUGGLES.

time to attend to these multitudes? St. Luke,
in tlie tliird eliapter of his Gospel, makes the
whole matter simple, by representing the people
generally, then the publicans, and lastly the
soldiers, as asking, ' And what shall we do ? '
Their confessions were evidently public, as their
offences had been, and as were also his instruc-
tions to them. Dr. Ohalloner brings forw^ard
also that injunction of James, ' Confess your
faults one to another ' — a passage which I have
already sufficiently explained — and concludes
his answer with this text : ' And many that
believed came, and confessed, and showed their
deeds.' Acts xix. 18. This case at Ephesus was
very similar to that of John the Baptist at
Jordan, and is susceptible of a like explanation.
There is not the least intimation of confession to
a priest or an apostle, nor of confession in
private, but rather of a public and open acknow-
ledgment."

" But what of offences against God only ? "
inquired I^ora, who had been listening with
intense interest.

" Apply the rule already given, Nora, for it is
invariable and simple. If you offend God only,
confess to God only. The Psalmist David con-
fessed, crying, ' Against thee, thee only, have I
sinned, and done this evil in thy sight.' In an-
other passage he exclaims, ' I acknowledged my

CHRIST ONLY PRIEST.

ion

sin unto thee, and my iniquity have I not hid. I
said, I will confess my transgressions unto tlie
Lord, and thou t'orgavest the ini(|uity of my sin.' "

" I see that no priest appears here between
God and man ; but this was the rule of Old
Testament times," said Nora.

" Christ the crucified is the Alpha and Omega
of the new dispensation. In the olden time the
priests occupied a much more imposing relation
than the ministers of Christ do now, though never
that of confessors. They received and offered
the sacrifices of the people, and made prayers
and supplications for them. But all those
ceremonies, as also the p.iest and the sacrifice,
were only types of Christ, pointing to him, and
they were fulfilled, abolished, and lost in him.
And so the Apostle Paul, in all his epistles, and
especially in that to the Hebrews, many of whom
clung so tenaciously to the old ritual, most con-
clusively proves that Christ is not only exalted
far above angels, Abraham, Moses, and even
Aaron and his lineal priesthood, but that by his
vicarious sufl^erings and sacrificial <leath he has
forever abolished the ' law of carnal ordinances,'
that is, the law of a human priesthood and of
animal ofterings ; and that now, having offered
one sacrifice for sins forever, that is, one; never
to be repeated, himself the Victim and Ofien^r,
he has become our only priest, the true slieplierd

fP n

110

SPIRITUAL STBUGOLES.

and bishop of our aouls, able to save them to the
uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing
He ever liveth to make intercession for them ;
made a high-priest forever after the order of
Melchisedek, not after the law of a carnal com-
mandment, but after the power of an endless life."

" How delighted I am," (que je suis chavnie,)
exclaimed Monsieur Grenier, " to be told what
it now seems to me must be the substance of
those sacred writings of Paul which, though
twenty-three years of age, I have never read !
These truth p not only show that priestly inter-
vention between a soul and God is positively
unscriptural, but also that the so-called sacrifice
of the mass, which th( Catechism teaches is ' the
offering of the body and blood of Jesus Christ,
made by a priest unto God,' or ' that in the mass
there is offered to God a true, and proper propi-
tiatory sacrifice for the living and the dead '^ —
that such a service, of which the Roman Catholic
Church makes so much, is unmeanii if not
farcical, and calculated to hide the great and all-
sufficient sacrifice of Calvfi-ry behind the rubbish
of priestly power and ritualistic gibberish."

" Be this as it may," I added, " the mass, with
its priestly sacrifices, is plainly anti-scriptural.
Our Saviour himself, and his apostles after him,

* " Grounds of Catholu- Faith," p. 48.

CHRIST THE MED I AT OB.

Ill

endeavoured to show this by removing every
object or person that might possibly obscure or
obstruct spiritual communion between (jrod and
man. In his parable of the prodigal son the
Saviour represents the penitent one as coming
directly to the Father. Prostrate before him he
confesses, ' Father, I have sinned against heaven
and before thee.' Where is the priest to hear his
confession i* He is not even so nnich as named
in this pearl of parables, this gospel in the
Gospel, nor anywhere else in the Scriptures, in
the relation of confessor between the sinner and
his God. Paul sets the royal seal to this subject
when he says, ' There is one ( jod, and one
Mediator between God and man, the man Christ
Jesus.' And Peter adds, ' Neither is there
salvation in any other ; for there is none other
name under heaven given among men, whereby
we must be saved.' "

With these good texts to meditate upon, after
a brief season of prayer, our interview was closed.

■i-

VII.

POAVER OP THE CoNFESSIONAL — NoHA IN TrOURLK--
TKHRinLK P].SPIONA(JE — ARROGANCE OK PoWER —

"Whatsoever Ye shall Bind on Earth, etc." -
This the Gordian-Knot — Diogenes — Blessed

]jAM!3 of Calvary.

All power is g'iven unto me in heaven and in earth. — (Jnr High Priest.

In the earlv part of the week Nora had
§|ffl| I received a letter from her parents, who
B^ reside in New York city, calling her
^M|'^' home in haste to see lier mother, who
^^'^ was reported to be dangerously ill. She
returned Friday, and, what was not a little
strange, instead of going to work as usual, she
came directly to my room, where she found me
engaged in study. She appeared pleased at first
to see me, passed the compliments of the day,
hut with a strange air remarked that her mother
was not sick as they had written her, hut that
this was done as a ruse to get her home. I
(|uickly saw that something was wrong ; so
desiring to talk over the matter, I asked her to
sit down a moment, wliich she did, but in doing

POWEIi OF THE l'().\'Ft:SSlONAL

W'A

so she buried her face in her hands and bep:an
to weep.

''What is the matter, Nora r' I asked; "is
there anytliing that 1 can do for you !' "

" O no, sir," she replied, ahnost choking with
her sobs, " but 1 have come in to tell you that 1
can work for you no longer, but must leave you ; "
and she sobbed again, and aloud.

After waiting some minutes for her great grief
to subside, I asked, " Nora, is the work too
hard for you here, or is your pay insufficient ? "

" no, sir. With all these I am perfectly
satisfied."

" Has any member of the family — myself, the
mistress, or the children — in any way abused or
offended you ? "

" No, indeed ! I was never treated with more
uniform kindness in my life."

" Why is it, then, that you want to leave us ? "

" O, sir, I have not said that / luanted to leave
you, but I must." So saying, she again began to
weep violently.

" Now, Nora, I confess I can scarcely under-
stand you. There appears to be a mystery hang-
ing over this matter. I cannot think, however,
that you are willing to leave us without even
intimatinjr it beforehand, as was the under-
standing you should do when you came here, and
without assigning any reasons why."
8

1, f

114

SPTRITUA L STRUGGLES.

" C), how can 1 ovor tell you, thougli I know 1
ought to ! " And here, seemingly absorbed with
her own oriet's. and as thou<di slie were alone,
she exclaimed, " (), holy St. Patrick, patron and
protector of my peopUi, why am I left to be the
prey of torments like these ! "

"Never mind St. Patrick now, nor any other
saint, Nora. Try to gi t ([uiet ; put your trust in
the blessed Jesus, and do what you know is
right, and you will find that rest to your con-
science which you cannot otherwise oljtain. If
you feel that for the sake of truth, for our sake,
and your own, you ought to tell us all about this
trouble, do so plainly."

By this time Mrs. Beaudry, who from the hall
had heard Nora's sobs, had come in, and,
learning that her grief was caused by feeling
herself, as it were, forced to leave us, became
greatly interested in the matter.

The troubled girl hesitated for some time, but
at length a radiance seemed to light up her face,
though swollen with tears and grief, as when a
summer shower is speedily followed by golden
sunbeams that light up the last falling raindrops
into gems of beauty, and gild the trail of the
retiring clouds ; and then, like one who has
reached a great victory in a moral struggle, she
exclaimed, " I somehow begin to feel as though
I had suffered my conscience to be trampled

f^OFA TN TFOUBLE.

115

under foot by others, while it seems as if Ood
alone ought to be above conscience. 1 certainly
can't tell you exactly why, Init now I feel (juite
free to tell yo;i all al)out this thini; which has
caused nie so n:uc]> grief, and awakened, I see,
great anxiety in your own minds."

"Tliat's right, Nora," said Mrs. Beaudry ;
" speak the truth, tlie wliole truth, an<l nothing
but the trutli."

" I'll try, ma'am. A few days before I re-
ceived the letter telling me the story of mother's
sickness, some Koman (Jatholic friends — no, I'll
call them enemies — in the neighborhood, who
had found out that i was becoming interested in
those talks of Mr. Beaudry on his experience,
wrote to my parents, telling them all about it.
Wlien 1 readied home 1 found my mother in
tears — she was really sick at heart — and my
father was so angry that he made all manner of
threats against me, if I wouldn't go and confess
it all to -our parish priest. I hesitated some
time, but at length went. O what a horrid
experience I had there I Of course, according
to the rules of our Church, I didn't dare hide
anything from him."

" Nor need you vie late any obligation of
secrecy in the confessional for our sakes, Nora,"
I added, lest her conscience; might become un-
necessarily entangled.

116

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" But I must tell you the whole story to
relieve iny own mind, aiul lest you blame me
for sayiiio- that I must leave you. One of the
tirst things the priest <li(l was to in(|uire all
about you. He then said he had Inward of you
before, and of nuiny others the likes of you
throuf^hout the country. After askin;; me many
questions concerning your religion, and your
meetings in the study, all about which he
seemed to know beforehand, I tried to tell him
that, by what \ had seen in your family, 1
thought you nuist be a good (-hristian man,
when he grew into a hot rage, and, interrupting
me, cried, ' Hush, you almost-Protestant ! You
utter blasphemy ! Talk about a good heretic !
You might as well say a pioits devil. That
man is a turncoat, a Judas,' and thus he went
on talking, and he looked so angrily at me that
1 fairly trembled ; and he ordered me to leave
your family at once, or he would call all the
curses of God to fiiU upon me, I was so
frightened, that to obtain his absolution I
promised to do as he commanded me. ?^ow this
is the cause of my tears, for I had rather do
anything I know of than to leave you : " and
again a cloud of sorrow^ seemed to fall upon
her.

" But, Nora," I proceeded to say, " do as you
think is right. Obey God rather than man. If

PlilES TLY ESP ION A GE.

117

conscience says ' Go,' don't waver, though it will
1)0 a ^reat sacrifice for us all."

" You are very kind to speak so to me ; hut,
(), that I onlv knew what to do !" After some
iiioiiients of silent thoughtfulness she joyfully
exclaimed, " T know what to do. I'll not go
and leave you. I just now recollect seeing
in some of our Catachisms, that if a person
through fear or compulsion should make a
rash vow, it is only adding sin to sin to keep
such a promise. I'll do right, at any cost of
pain or loss, God helping me."

At this interesting denov.eiiwnt she made each
of us a polite courtesy, and smiling, retired to
her room.

" Now, P arlie," (for this is Mrs. Beaudry's
given name,) " what do you think of priestly
power ? "

" Why, I had no conception of it before. Now
I see by what means the priests obtain their
wide information and great iniiuence. Their
operations of espionage, T can now imagine, are
reduced to a system so perfect that there is not
a person of wealth, or social standing, or
political or religious influence in the land, who
may not be perfectly well known at head-
quarters, even to the minutest thing in his
history or conduct."

So saying, she went out to attend to her do-

118

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

mestic cares, leaving me alone to meditate upon
this strange yet not uncommon event. Nora
continued to work as usual, only with an in-
creasing interest.

These facts being known to our company
greatly enlisted our sympathy for Nora, and
enlivened our interest in the general subject of
discussion. On assembling the following Sab-
bath, Aunt Melie remarked, " There is still
another subject connected with the confessional
on which I would like more light : and that is,
the power of the priest to forgive sins. Most
Roman Catholics with whom I have conversed
have told me that the priest has this power, and
that it is absolute ; others surround the doctrine
with various limitations ; while still others deny
it altogether."

"Their standard books," I implied, "are our
only safe authority in these matters." Turning
to Monsieur Grenier, who was again with us, I
asked him if he could repeat from memory what
his Catechism tcught upon this subject.

" Most certainly. It is only a short time since
I was devoutly studyiig and teaching these
doctrines. In the Catechism now in use in
Canada, I think on page 51, you may find the
following questions and answers : —

" ' Have the priests power to forgive sins :* '

AREOGANCE OF POWER.

119

" ' Yes, the priests have power to forgive or
retain sins.'

" ' Can they forgive all sins, even the most
enormous ? '

" ' Yes, they can pardon all sins, even the
most enormous, provided they are confessed
with sincere contrition.' "

" Well," exclaimed Luella, " this is claiming
more power than Jesus himself did, for he said
there was one sin he could not forgive, namely,
the sin against the Holy Ghost ; hut the priests
make no such exception."

" This is most poignantly true," continued our
friend. " But the Catechism does not contain
their whole teaching on this point. In a book *
used in collei^e I found the following : * To remit
sins, to bind and to loose consciences, to produce
the body and blood of Jesus ( /hrist, to offer him
in sacrifice, to distrilmte him to the faithful, to
impart grace by the sacraments to the living
and the dying, to cast out devils : this is what
all the kings of the eartli cannot do ; but behold,
this is what the priests of the Lord can do.'
Then, too, in the voluminous works of Abbe
Jean Gaume, works approved by Romish autho-
rity, and highly recommended, T have found the
followinir: 'What human toniiue can describe

PcnSt'l'S sill' It's Vt'litl'S (Ir l;i li'cli^iitli," |i. -I'JT.

120

SPIBIT UA L STB UGGLES.

the dignity of the priesthood and the greatness
of the priest ? ' Then the author proceeds to
speak of the power of Adam, Moses, Joshua, of
kings, of angels, and even of the Virgin Mary,
but says, * The priest has greater power than
them all, because they cannot, while he can,
absolve a soul from sin.' He continues : 'Suppose
the Redeemer should visibly descend in person
in his Church, and station himself in a con-
fessional to administer the sacrament of penance,
while a priest occupies another. The Son of God.
says, " .1 absolve you ; " and the priest also says,
" I absolve you ;" and the penitent finds himself
absolved just as much by the one as by the
other. Thus the priest, mighty like God, can
instantly snatch the sinner from hell, render
him worthy of paradise, and of a slave of the
devil make him a child of Abraham, and God
himself is obliged to submit to the judgment of
the priest, to refuse or to grant absolution,
provided the penitent is worthy of it. The
sentence of the priest precedes ; God subscribes
to it. Can any one conceive of a greater power,
a higher dignity ? '

" And yet these sentiments of the Abb^ are
not as radical as the utterances of a Bavarian
priest, named Herr Kinzelmann, Roman Cat|Jiolic
rector of Gestrass. In a recent sermon preached
at Algau, and reported in the Kcmpton Gazette,

ABBOGANOE OF POWER.

121

he said : ' We priests, we are above the govern-
ments, above the emperor, kings, and princes, as
much as the heavens are above the earth. Tlie
kings and princes of the earth are as far behind us
priests as lead is distant from the purest goki.
The ano-els and archanirels are nuich below
priests ; for we can, in the face of Ood, pardon
sins, which they have never been able to do.
We are above the Mother of God, for Mary
never gave birth to Christ but once, while we
priests, we create and produce him every day.
Again, to a certain degree, the priests are above
God himself ; for God nmst be, at any time and
in every place, at our disposal ; he nuist, on
being ordered, descend from heaven at the con-
secration of the mass. God, it is true, has
created the world by using these words : " Be it ; "
but we, with t'.iese words, create God himself.' "
" Thank ^ ou, Monsieur Grenier, for the
information I desired," replied Aunt Melie.
" But is it not d'^eadful to contemplate such
arrogance of power ! It is the legitimate fruit
of the system, however. Here we see the ful-
filment of Paul's prophecy concerning ' the
falling away, and the revelation of that man of
sin and son of perdition, who opposeth and
exalteth himself above all that is called God, or
that is worshipped ; so that he as God sitteth in the
temple of God, showing himself that he is God.' "

-N

111

122

SPIRITUAL STEUGGLEb.

" Now," added Nora, " I have always been
made to believe that the priests have all power.
If the priests cannot pardon sin, I should !'ke
to know who can ? "

As she uttered these words, as a matter of
course all eyes were turned toward me for an
answer, and so I replied, "Ail Scriptures bear-
ing- upon this (question teach us that the pardon-
ing power resides with God alone. So David
said, ' Thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.'
Jolm, ' If we confess our sins, he is faithful and
just to foro'ive us our sins.' The sauie is true in
a civil point of view. Before the law, an
oii'ender can be pardoned only by the chief
magistrate having jurisdiction, the Governor in
tlie State, the President in the United States.
So, Jesus Christ, who is Lord of lords and King
of kings, alone has the power to forgive him
who has trespassed upon his Divine law. So
when Clirist had said to the paralytic, ' Thy
sins be forgiven thee,' the Pliarisees murmured
aojainst liim, and exclaimed, ' Wlio can forijive
sins but God only ? ' This passage proves two
things : first, that priestly absolutions formed no
part of tlie Jewish creed ; and, secondly, that if
Clu'ist had been onlv a man, the Pliarisees would
have been justified in charging blasphemy upon
liim. But then, to show forth his supreme
divinity in the presence of them all, Jesus said.

GOD ONLY CAN FORGIVE.

123

' Whether is it easier, to say to the sick of the
palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee ; or to say.
Arise, and take up thy bed and walk ? But
that ye may know that the Son of man hatli
power on earth to forgive sin:-?, (he saitli to the
sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee. Arise, and
take up thy bed, and go thy way unto thy
house.' And it was immediately done. Both
by his reasoning and action Jesus proved in this
instance, as in many others, that to forgive sins
and to work miracles, such as healing the sick,
raising the dead, etc., are on a par with creating
worlds, and that these are prerogatives of the
Deity which he has never delegated to men.
He may work a. miracle by man as an instrument,
as he says, ' he can thrash a mountain with a
worm ; ' but the power does not belong to the
instrument, but to the arm that wields it."

"But your words remind me of two passages
of Scripture often quoted by the priests," inter-
rupted Monsieur Grenier, " which present (ques-
tions that to my mind are not yet clearly
answered."

" Please state them," I said.

" They are the words of Christ to liis apostles,
as recorded, I think, in the gospels by Matthew
and John. The first is, ' Whatsoever ye shall
bind on earth shall be bound in heavers ; and
whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall ha

'■■>

rH ?

? •

SI ,

124

SPIRITUAL STRZrOOLES.

loosed in heaven.' The second is much like the
fiist, namely, 'Receive ye the Holy Ghost :
whosesoever sins ye remit, they are remitted
unto them ; and whosesoever sins ye retain, they
are retained.' The priests tell us that Christ
here delegated all the power that he had in
heaven and earth to thei.i."

" Father ! " said Johnr.ie, his countenance
showing no small amount of perplexity, " I fear
you've got a puzzle this time which you cannot
very easily unravel."

"Dispel your fears on my behalf, my child.
You must learn that many things which appear
difficult, and even impossible, to you now, will
become perfectly simple after long study and
experience. These passages plainly mean this :
That the Gospe^ truth committed to the apostles,
accompanied by the Holy Ghost whom Jesus
then breathed upon them, and whom they fully
received at the pentecost, is the power by which
men are to be saved. Look at the unequivocal
testimony of Jesus and his apostles on the sub-
ject : * Then said Jesus to those Jews which
believed on him, If ye continue in my word,
then are ye my disciples indeed ; and ye shall
know the truth, and the truth shall make you
free.' Again, in his prayer for the apostles just
before his crucifixion, he said, * Father, sanctify
them through thy truth ; thy word is truth.' In

•' WHA TSOE VER STNS YE BE TA IN,' E Tf '. 1 25

his final commission to them he said, ' liu ye
into all the world and preach the Gospel to every
creature. He that believeth and is baptized
shall be saved ; but he that believeth not shall
be damned.' "

" O ! I see it, I see it now," almost shouted
Monsieur Grenier, (|uite in a rhapsody ; "wh(^ther
a man be saved or lost depends upon his either
receiving by faith, or rejecting, the Gospel."

" That's it exactly. It is a simple truth, but
mighty."

" Why I you said before, it is CJod forgives
sins ; now you say men are saved through the
truth," said Nora, somewdiat perplexed.

" The truth, by whomsoever it is made known,
Nora, is the voice of God. Hear what Paul
says about it : ' The Gospel is the power of God
unto salvation to every one that believeth.'
Again, ' So we preach, and so ye believe.'
Peter offers his testimony as follows, and cer-
tainly you ought to consider that valid : ' Seeing
ye have purified ^''our souls in obeying the truth
through the Spirit. . . . Being born again, not
of corruptible seed, but incorruptiV)le ; by the
word of God, which liveth and abideth forever.'
Jesus further taught, * If I had not come and
spoken unto them, they had not had sin, but
now they have no cloak for their sin.' So you
see that no small responsibility is thrown upon

» I

12(1

SPIBITUA L .S TR UGG L ES.

I ifl

the hearer of the Gospel. It* we believe and
obey the truth, our sins are forgiven, and we
are cleansed from all unrighteousness, by the
power of God speaking to us in the truth ; but
if we reject the trutli, our sins are not only re-
tained against us in h<,aven, but our guilt is
greatly increased by our k'nowledge. ' To the
one,' then says Paid, 'we are a savour of death
unto death, and to the other a savour of life unto
life/ No minister of the Gospel is more than a
feeble instrument in the hands of God in accom-
plishing this work, if I bring water to a man
who is almost <lying of thirst — as I often did in
the army, on battle-fields — he may say that I
saved his life, but it was God's pure beverage
that did it. The priest is not the water nor the
bread of life ; he can only tell of them or distri-
bute them. The knowledge of this orace is the
key which Christ is said to have given to Peter,
and which, though abused, he tells us was never-
theless in the hands of the Jewish people. He
Haid to them, ' Woe unto you, lawyers ! for ye
have taken away the key of knowledge : ye
entered not in yourselves, and them that were
entering in ye hindered.' The parallel passage in
Matthew amplifies the thought : ' Woe unto you,
scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites ! for ye shut
the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye
neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them

TRUTH THE KEY

127

that are cntorino- to i^u in.' 'I'liesc woes were
pronounced upon tlieui because tliey not only
rejected Clnist and his Gospel, but soui^lit to
prevent others from receiving him. lUit the
passages sliow tliat Gospel truth is the key of
the kingdom of (fod. Whosoever receives tlie
truth in the love of it enters in. The key, then,
is not only in the hands of Peter, or with the
ministers of the Gospel, but in the hands of all
men who know the truth."

"But did not (Jhrist design to convey more
power to the twelve than toother believers >* "
asked Monsieur Grenier.

"Only in this: They were to decide in
council assembled, as we see in the Acts of the
Apostles, what doctrines were orthodox, and thty
were made the custodians or superintendents of
discipline in the Church. Paid explains the
relation of the Apostles to the churches as
follows : " Not for that 'ive have dominion over
your faiti/, but are helpers of your joy: for by
faith ye stand." And Peter adds, in his epistle,
speaking to the elders : " Feed the flock of God
which is among you, taking the oversight there-
of, not by constraint, but willingly ; not for
filthy lucre, but of a ready mind ; neither as
being lords over God's hei'itage, but being en-
samples to the flock." And it is further evident
that all their decisions were in accordance with

li-

^Tj

;
1

ji:

I! .
ii '

J2?s

SPIUITUA L S Tli UGGLES.

a vote of the whole Church or flock. But the
only keys that open heaven and hel) are in the
liands of .lesus, who is heard saying to the
revelator, 'I am he that liveth, and was dead ;
and l)eho]d, I aui alive for evermore, amen ; and
have the keys of hell and of death.'"

" i ([uestion somewhat, after liearing your
remarks," said Mrs. Beaudry, *' whether the title
of priest belongs to a Christian minister."

" I am sure it does not," 1 replied. " The
prophet of the Old Testament w^as a type of the
preacher of the New ; the priest was a type of
Christ. The great Master said to his apostles,
* Go, and preach the Gospel, teaching those who
believe to ol>serve all things whatsoever I have
commanded you.' So Paid says, * Christ sent
me not to baptize, but to preach the Gospel,'
' for we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus
the Lord ; and ourselves your servants,' (not
your priests and lords,) * for Jesus' sake,' and
' we have this treasure in earthen vessels that
the excellency of the power may be of God, and
not of us.' The minister is not the way — he may
simply indicate it by word and deed. He can-
not pardon sin, but he can point out the Pardoner.
He is simply the voice of one, and that voice an
echo from heaven, crying in the wilderness of
the world, ' Behold the Lamb of God.' Like a
crystal drop in the sky, hidden from mortal gaze,

THE BLESSED LAMB.

129

yet so controlled by the divine Artist as to paint
the resplendent rainhow, that golden girdle of
the Almighty, upon the hrow of evening ; so the
minister of Christ is to be merely a reflector of
God's truth and glory. A tongue of fire to
speak of Ood was not only the stupendous
miracle of the pentecost, Imt it is the fittest
symbol for the Gospel ministry, the talisman of
the new covenant. Only Christ Ciin say, 'Unto
me all power is given,' therefore ' come unto me
all ye that labour and are heavy laden ; ' for
' him hath God exalted with his right hand to
be a Prince and a Saviour for, to give repentance
to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.' "

" Now, then," added Luella, " is fulfilled the
word of Christ : ' As Moses lifted up the serpent
in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man
be lifted up, that whosoever believeth in him
should not perish, but have eternal life.' "

"And, indeed, is this all there is of salvation,"
cried Monsieur Grenier, " to look to the Crucified
and Risen One, and live ? "

" This is all," I replied. " There is life for a
look at the (.'rucified One, for he says, ' Look
unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the
earth : for I am God, and there is none else.'
The minister's duty, then, is simply to cry,
' Behold the Lamb,' and to stand aside or hide
away, lest he should attract or obstruct the

• , t

¥\

!•-, ; t

1 I

1 !''

IH.
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130

SPIRITUAL STRUGOLES.

sinner's gaze. There was beauty and force
in the remark of the philosopher Diogenes to
Alexander the (Tre.^t, who stood in his sunshine
when he was asked by the latter what he
wanted. The (Jynie replied, ' I want you to
stand out of my sunshine, and not to take from
me what you cannot give me.' The sinner must
be left alone with his Ood." Inspired by these
simple yet weighty truths, we closed our inter-
view with this appropriate stanza, each one
singing with strange delight : —

" ] am trustiTi<f, Lord, in thee ;
Blessed Lnmb of Calvary !
Humbly at thy cross I bow —
Jesus saves me, saves me now. "

CT^Q^^^^O

VIII.

The Confessional on Priest axd Peoi'le — Who can
Judge the Conscience? — Political Argument —
.Moral Influence — Council of Trent — People in
Abject Fear — Secrets — Weakness.

Be not deceive<l ;

evil fomiiiunications corrupt jfO(xl inanncrs. — Paul
tn the Corinth i'lin.

.^HE time had been so short since our last
(itlfe assembly, that meeting the same persons
in the same place, and under similar
circumstances, made it seem as if this
'^'^^ gathering was only a continuation of
the previous one. Our preliminaries were very
brief, for every one appeared so anxious to
enter the confessional, not to confess their sins,
but to draw from me the information which I
had partly pledged myself to give, that T was
compelled to begin at once, which T did as
follows :

" Auricular confession, as introduced by Pope
Leo, was so evidently a corruption of apostolical
teaching and practice, that it took many years

Irish

to enforce it throughout the Ohuicli.

The

' I

I '
1 1

132

SPIRITUAL ^TBIJGGLFS.

Church particularly long withstood the innova-
tion. But now the authorities of the Church
endeavour — how successfully has already been
shown — to prove the practice from Scripture ;
but conscious of the weakness of their position,
they resort to what they call ' The spiritual
benefits of the sacrament of penance.' "

"Pray tell us what these benefits are," said
Luella.

Before J had time to answer, the door-bell
was rung-. Nora ran down, and soon returned
with a, card, which bore the well-known auto-
graph of " Mr. W." He v as a descendant of
Pennsylvania Quakers, a graduate of Yale Col-
lege, and had S2)ent the two years following his
graduation in the study of law. But when he
came to enter upon the practice of it he found
so much trickery in the profession that his con-
scientious scHiples did not allow him to continue
therein. After spending some tiuu^ in foreign
tra,vel he devoted liimself to teachinij', in which
avocation lie had few superiors. He was now
the principal of our school, and familiarly
named " Professor."

I went down to the parlour and met him.
As I entered, he arose and said, " Though not a
member of any Church, J d(> not Itelieve in
Sunday calls, agreeing perfectly with your
sentiments on that subject as expres.-sed in youv

THE PROFESSOR.

183

morning discourse. But- from a few remarks I
heard from Miss liisclla and her brother at
school, 1 feel a deep interest in your Sunday
afternoon interviews now held in your family,
and I have come to recpiest the privilege of being
a listener, if it he not asking too uiuch, or in-
truding upon sacred privacies."

" You are welcome, Professor, not only as an
auditor, but as a fidl participant in our conversa-
tions. Thus far, at least, there has been nothing
said which we arr^not willing should be widely
known. Come itf, please, to the study with me,
and I trust you may be able to impart as well as
to receive instruction."

The Professor scarcely needed an introduction,
except to Monsieur Orenier, and, liecause of his
affable yet unobtrusive manners, every one felt
perfectly at home in his presence. Taking a
seat, he asked pardon for havini interrupted us,
and expressed the h(3))e that he might not again
be guilty of a like offence.

I told him that we had j\ist commenced our
conversation, ami that the l)ell rang just as I
was about to answer Luella's (|uestion as to
what were the so-called beneiits of the sacra-
ment of penance, or the moral influence of
auricular confession. He nodded assent, as
nuich as to say, this question perfectly suits me,
and I began: '• Th(»re is, no doubt, a certain

134

I I ;i

SPIRTTUAL STRUGGLES.

class in the r'burch upon which this practice has,
at least for a time, a salutary influence. They
are restrained from the grosser vices l>y the
dread they have of tlie uplnaidino's of their
confessor, accompanied, it may V)e, with his
refusal of absolution. A ycnith of my ac([uaint-
ance, who was enticed to the counnission of a
great sin, replied, ' Wait till after Easter, when
I have made my confession and connnuned.'
Many also fear the penances which are always
enjoined, even though absolution is granted.
These consist in frequent repetition of lengthy
prayers, or in reading the 'seven penitential
psalms,' which Galileo was compelled to recite
every week for three yeais in succession — or in
protracted and painfid fastings. Sometimes
public humiliations are imposed, such as was
inflicted upon a scliool-mate of mine, who was
compelled to kneel in the middle of the broad
central aisle of the church, where everybody
could see him, and where he remained during
the entire service of the mass, for at least an
hour, with his head bowed almost to the floor.
This was repeated several times. Occasionally
the penance consists in going barefoot on long
pilgrimages, or with peas or something else in
one's shoes to hurt or annoy. Frequently such
suflerings are self-imj)osed ; and some have gone
so far as to severely flog themselves, or even to

THE BRASS KETTLE.

135

wear a wide iron girdle tight around their body,
producing excruciating torture."

"I had an uncle," said Nora, "who nearly
killed himself by doing penance. He was a
very devoted man, and we sometimes called him
a saint."

" Furthermore," I continued, " the confessional
has sometimes assisted in recovering stolen pro-
perty. For instance, a lady of my acquaintance,
by the name of Forsyth, residing in Keeseville,
N. Y., had a brass kettle stolen bv her washer-
woman, as she supposed, who, however, denied
the charge. Mrs. F. reported her conviction to
the parish priest, whom she knew. The first
time this wayward penitent appeared in the
confessional, the priest, of course, watched for
the brass kettle. The woman seemed to have
closed her confession, when the priest asked,
' And is there nothing more ? ' * Nothing more,
my ghostly father,' she replied. ' Hark ! ' said
the priest, ' what sound is this I hear like the
rattling of a brass kettle ? ' Nothinoj more was
necessary. Overwhelmed by her superstitious
dread of the priest's supposed supernatural
knowledge and power, she confessed the whole,
and the next morning Mrs. Forsyth found her
kettle by the kitchen door."

'* Don't you wish we could be as successful in

;!■

■ !

1 I

1 '• 'I

SPIRI T UA L .S' TR UG GLES.

finding the linen which was taken by onr
washer-woman ? " asked Luella.

" Certainly ; but the remedy is not always so
sure as i*i this instance."

"But is there no spiritual i;ood in th^^ cont'es-
aional?" impiired Mrs. Beaudry.

" Undoul)tedly ; there are times when persons
under peculiar temptations or weaknesses may
})e properly advised or assisted."

" But are these advantages sufficient to com-
pensate for what we know to be its evils ? "
asked Aunt Melie.

" By no means. Xow, in order the ilietter to
understand the subject, let us look, Urst, at the
influence of the confessi(mal on the priest. The
supernatural power with which it is assumed he
is invested is enough to fill any human heart
with pride, and to intoxicate any l)rain with self-
conceit. Arrayed in the insignia of his autho-
rity, he sits in the confessional as a god upon a
throne of judgment, and not as a man. In the
book called ' Grounds,' page 29 — and there is no
better Papal authority — it is written : ' (Christ
has made the pastors of his Church his judges
in the court of conscience, with conunission and
authority to bind or loose, to forgive or to retain
sins, according to the merits of the cause, and
the disposition of the penitents. Now, as no
judge can pass sentence without a full know-

WHO IS JUDGE OF THE 'ON 80 FENCE / 1*37

ledge of the cause — which cannot be had in this
kind of causes which regard men's consciences
but by their own confession — it clearly follows,
that lie who has made the pastors of his Church
the judoes of men's consciences, has also laid an
obligation upon the faithful to lay open the
state of their consciences to them, if they hope
to have their sins remitted.' "

" Now, I see," said the Professor, "as I never
saw before, the secret spring of power in the
Romish Church ! It explains to me many a
phenomenon which 1 had witnessed, and for
which I could find no adequate cause. This
teaching places the confessional above all civil
and above all religious powers, and the priest
above every earthly ruler, {"or by his word,
spoken in the tribunal of conscience, he can
abrogate the fealty of subjects to their king,
cancel a civil obligation, or annul a judicial oath.
He can even sever the marriage ties ! Indeed,
there is no mischief that he cannot do, if he be
so disposed. When I consider that millions of
dollars' worth of Church property and real
estate are in their hands, with vast sums of
floating capital which they control, besides their
annual incomes, which must be immense, I can
see how it is, that adding their monetary to
their ministerial power, they wield so tremen-
dous an influence in the realm of politics. As

;' i\

138

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

^w^^mMm^

they seldom make speeches or publish letters on
the subject in this country — the same thing can-
not be said of them in Canada, however, nor in
Mexico, nor even in Ireland, nor France, where
1 witnessed their operations — I could not conjev.-
ture how they reached the masses ; but the
confessional reveals the hiding of tlieir power.
But I am consuming too much of your precious
time with these remarks."

" Not at all Professor. They are directly to
the point, and no man is better fitted to make
them than yourself. Continue, if you please."

" I have but this to say now, that I cannot see
how a priest, or even a private member of the
Church, can honestly take the oath of naturaliza-
tion in this country, when it is admitted that
the consciences of the masses are in the hands
of the priests, (which they themselves acknow-
ledge,) and that the priests themselves are con-
trolled under solemn vows and religious oaths,
by a close ecclesiastical corporation having the
Roman Pontiff at its head. Every foreigner
who desires to be naturalized is required to
declare on oath, in open court, ' that it is bona
fide his intention to become a citizen of the
United States, and to renounce forever all allegi-
ance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate,
State, or sovereignty whatever.' Under these
circumstances, I am convinced that such an oath

POLITICAL AND MORAL INFLUENnE. 130

by a Romanist is perjury, or, at least, a nullity.
For there is not a Romanist, lay or clerical, but
would side with the r\)pe of Home in the event
of a conflict with our authorities. The demoral-
izinij; influence of such oaths has been seen in the
recent revelation of unparalleled frauds com-
mitted by the officials of New York city, nearly
all of whom were Romanists, and all evidently
under priestly control — a control exhibited in
the vast sums of money and land grants which
have been annually made by the city corporation
to build up and extend Roman Catholic institu-
tions within its bounds. This is true of other
places also. As a lover of my country I am
jealous of these corrupting influences, exerted
mostly by foreign-born citizens and priests — for
nearly all their priests are iniported — in the
interest of a religious organi: ation which, in
form and spirit, is inimical to i he genius of our
institutions and government. Let foreigners
worship as they think best, so long as they do
not encroach upun my privileges and rights as
a citizen. But let them not baptize political
trickery and usurpation with the sacred name of
religion. Now, I have spoken not as a religionist
or a political partisan — for I am neither — but as
a man."

" With your permission," I remarked, " we
will consider this to be the political influence of

1; '

140

SFIRITUAl. STRUGGLES.

L' h

•i

1 !

the confessional, a topic which, without your
presence, must have been wanting in our di.s-
cus.sion. Now you can see the moral effect of
such assiuned power on the priest himself. ' His
spirit being thus inflated with false conceptions
of himself and of his work, think of the influence
upon his heart and mind of the revelations of
human depravity which he is there to solicit and
receive. When he takes his position in the
confessional, the ' soiled doves ' of his Church
come one after another in rapid succession, flock-
ing at his feet. Claiming to have power to
pardon all sins, he must first hear the recital of
them. The whole heart must be opened to him.
Now, the foulest thoughts r conceived or even
conceivable ; the most ccxx^^licated plans ever
laid for robbery, seduction, and even murder ;
the blackest deeds that midnight ever witnessed ;
all the sins and crimes of childhood, manhood,
womanhood, old age ; on the part of the single
and the married ; in secret, in public, in the
family, in the State, with all the attending
circum.stances, descending even to disgusting
details, which modesty declines to tell* — all this
tide of corruption is poured into the confessor's
ears. To withstand such contaminating influ-
ences, one must be more than human — must

* Dens' "Theology iu Latin," vol. vii., pp. 149-153, etc.

TNFLTJENrE ON THE PRTESTfi. 141

possess an impeccable nature, which no priest
even professes to have. Peter Dens in his
volume vi., p. 175, says, ' That confessor who is
every day occupied in the ministry of hearing
confessions, falls very seldom ; in comparison with
the times he does not fall.' He speaks, of course,
from personal experience. He then proceeds in
his works, which are extensively used in all
clerical colleges, to present what legislation ho
deems necessary to redress or prevent seductions
and other crimes by the priests in the confessional,
acknowledging thereby thai these abominations
have existed and continue to exist.

" It is doubtless true, that the young and con-
scientious priest may at first shrink from the
viper, and endeavour for a time to shield himself
from the venom of its impurity ; but he soon
finds his hold upon his vows of chastity giving
way, and ere long realizes what thousands of
this class have been compelled in truth to
confess, that

' When once a shaking nioh.irchy declines,
Each thing grows hold and to its fall combines. '

An inspired apostle has laid it down as a cardinal
truth in relation to human influence, a truth cor-
roborated by all history, that ' evil communi-
cations corrupt good manners,* for even ' a little

>>)

1 1

il I

142

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

leaven leaveneth the whole lump.' And a poet

says :

* Vice is a monstw of so tVighU'ul mien,
As to be hated, needs but to be seen ;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure, ihrnpiUj, vnv.s KMintAci;.' "

" But does not the Church impose restraining
chocks, and has she not the power," imjuired the
Professor, " to annul the orders and consequent
authority of fallen or wicked priests i* "

"Here is what she .says on this sul>Ject. In
the fourteenth session of the Council of Trent,
held November 25, 1551, under Pope Julius III.,
it was enacted as follows, and the clause has
never been repealed : ' The Council further
teaches, that even those priests who are living
in mortal sin exercise the function of forfjivinsf
sins, as the ministers of Christ, by the power of
the Holy Ghost conferred upon them in ordi-
nation ; and that those who contend that wicked
priests have not this power, hold very erroneous
sentiments.' "

" How humiliating," exclaimed Aunt Melie, " is
this confession of priestly corruption ! How
bold this assumption of spiritual power ! "

" I have often wondered," added Nora, " how
the priests get along with hearing so much
wickedness. I have feared that many of them
even love to hear it. I have sometimes shud-

ABJECT FEAR.

(lored, too, to think that, while they teach that
no one should partake of the holy cornTuunion
without having just before confessed all his sins
and received absolution, under pain of profana-
tion and sacril(;<,'e, they themselves connnune
every time they celebrate mass, which many of
them do every day, without having' confessed
their sins, perhaps, for a long time, and just after
hearino* such awfnl confessions as I know they
must hear ! "

" I propose we leave the poor priests, Nora,"
interrupted Luella, " and hear about the influence
of the confessional on the people."

" Very well," I replied ; " I think it may easily
be inferred from what has already been said,
that the influence of the confessional on the
people is, to inspire a spirit of abject and servile
submission to the priest. They know that he is
in possession of every secret of their families,
of their lives and hearts, themselves having been
the informers. They believe, too, that he can
open or shut" heaven's door, for or against them.
Many even believe that his curse is able to
metamorphose their bodies into animal forms, or
to bewitch them. Hence their willinirness to
perform any penance he may impose, and to
yield to any request he may make. All these
privacies are, of course, kept under the secret
seal of c<^mfession, an obligation (jn |)riest and

( )

144

SPTRTT TJA A ,S' T R VG G J. ES.

penitent, than which none can bo more binding
and solemn. Tliis secret extends even to crimes
which one may intend tu commit.* 1 speak
from experience and ob -rvation when 1 say,
also, that tin; confessional breeds a fearful
license to immorality. A boy, whom I was re-
proving for a certain sin, remarked — for we
were boys together — ' (), it does not matter how
often I do this; I'll confess it to the ])riest and
he'll make it all right, because he can forgive
many sins as easily as a few.' ' As confession
and penance are much easier than the extirpation
of sin from the heart, and abandonment of vice
in the life,' says Dr. Merle D'Aubign^, * many
cease contending against the Hists of the flesh,
and prefer gratifying them at the expense of a
few mortifications.' This spirit more or less
pervades all classes, svd in many instances gives
the passions unbridled liberty."

" I had occasion to witness this very thing,"
added the Professor, " especially in (hiba and in
the South American States, where drunkenness,
licentic'isness, and Sabbath desecration sweep,
in their tide of corruption, over both priests and
people."

" The confessional, ' I continued, " often leads
the young into tlie sinful practices which it

* Dens, vol. vi., p. 218. rhalloner's "("atholic Instructed,"
p. 102.

INCITES TO EVIL.

145

professes to check or to remove, and even en-
courages tlieni therein. For instance, at one
time, wlien I was in tlie confessional, the priest
(juestioned me in relation to a certain class of
sins which I then knew notliing about. This
awakened no small excitement and curiosity in
me. It led me to study, and to inquire of older
boys and bolder sinners than myself, until I
learned forms of wickedness which, had it not
been for the confessional, 1 might ricver have
known ; certainly not so early."

" My testimony corroborates yours," said
Monsieur Grenier, pensively, " and your remarks
recall sad experiences which fill my heart with
burning memories, and with bitterness against
the confessional. I know it to be an enginery of
political and spiritual corruption, the details of
which it would be a disgrace to reveal. Here is
a power which rules the conscience and stifles
its voice ; which creeps secretly into houses or
families, and leads captive silly women and
children, ' laden with sins, led away with divers
lusts.' This truth I also found in the Bible."

" While my experience and sentiments agree
with yours in the main," added Nora, " I was
such a little mischief when very young that I
was never taught anything new in the con-
fessional ; and yet the priest often asked me

questions which made me blush with shame."
10

14G

SPIRITUAL STEUGGLES.

" Arnl yet tlir confessional," I went on to say,
" is till! only <loor t(j the various privileges of
the (/hnrch. 'I'he proselyte must enter the con-
fessional b(ifore he «loes the ( luireh, oenerally
before lie can l>e baptize*!. ( ^mfession stands
before coimnunion, ix'fore niarriai^e, l)efore * ex-
trenie luiction ' and <leath, if tlie dying have
sufficient strenuth for the task. And ret while
this is undoubtedly the throne of priestly power
in the (yhurch, it is also the seat of spiritual
weakness, b(^cause its remedies are not specific
and satisfactory, an<l, indeed, cannot be."

With these remarks came the hour for break-
ing up our interview.

IL--*....

IX.

(iRKAT STRU(4(tI,ES AND FaL8K Rf:FUGES — FiRST COM-
MUNION — Pknancjvs— Confirmed by liisHOP (now
Cardinal) MxCloskky — In the Army— Extreme
Unction — The Scapular — Yearninos for the
Priesthood — Charlatanism — Woes Unutterable.

Lo, tiiou triistest in tlic stuff of this brolten reed, on Ejj^ypt ; whereon il
a man lean, it will yo into his hand, and pierce it.- Isaiah.

HE constant recurrence of an event so
1^ greatly removes its novelty, that, par-
sffK',/J ticularly witli diildren, it is apt to
'^(^/^ become stale or uninteresting. There-
^^^ lore, I had feared that our gatherings
would so(m lose their interest for our children's
minds, and thus fail in accumplishing the good I
desire(i. Hut I was mistaken. The facts pre-
sented were not only unfoldini:: the inner work-
injrs of a ^it-anfir* and wonderful reii<dous
organization, whose outer manifestations are
constantly before our ey*'s, hut they also revealed
the influence of this organization upon the
spiritual life and conduct of those around us,
even of some who were proniiuent in our dia-

148

SPIRITUAL HThUGGLES.

cussions. There was, of course, a special interest
in the (ievelopiiient of my own experience. So,
on meeting — and every one was promptly on
time — the L-eneral inquiry seemed to he as to
what power the doctrines and doings which I
had attempted to describe had exerted upon my
inner life, and I connnenced.

" When 1 was very young, deep religious im-
pressions were made upon my heart. At the
age of ten or twelve I was pungently convicted
of sin. Having read a little tract in French,
entitled ' EterniU',' an impression was received
which time never obliterated. For many weeks
after this my heart was sad, and every night
after retiring 1 spent hours in meditating upon
my sins, and my unpreparedness for eternity,
and often wept until my pillow was wet with
tears."

" But why did you not go to Jesus to beg his
pardon, as you have taught us to do ? " asked
Johnnie, weeping as he spoke.

" Simply because I had no one to direct me to
this sovereign remedy. But I was taught by
my mother to go and confess to the priest. This
I did in the nmost sincere, devout, an»l thorough
manner."

" Did you find the relief you desired ? " he
asked.

" 1 experienced a momentary relief when the

MY FIRST COMMUNION.

149

disagreeable task was done, accompanied with
the vague and blind belief that all was right.
But there would still arise the longing, ' O that
I could know that iny sins are indeed blotted
out!' Had I possessed a thousand worlds \
would cheerfully have consecrated them all to
knoM (3ven for a single moment that my sins
were '^'' 'Moved from me ' as far as the east is
from th. west.' But T was told that this is a
great mystery which no human mind can com-
prehend, and that 1 nnist, therefore, leave it all
to the power and good intentions of the priest.
But the teachings of my intellect could not
repress the yearnings of my heart. My soul
was ' like the troubled sea,' when it camiot rest,
'whose waters cast up mire and dirt.' And as
with ocean waves, ebbing and tiowing, there
was a perpetual moaning and oscillation between
sighini'; and tears — a condition well expressed
by the poet Montgomery : —

•' M) whtiif si, ail rest I"- tVmiul,
Rest I'or the wciury .soul '.
'Twcrc viiiii the ocean's (l('|ttlis rn snmul.
Or piercf to «Mth»T ]>ol('.'

" Wlien 1 made my tirst coiruiiunion — "

" O, what is that'" imterrupte<l Johnnie,

rather abruptly.

" Tt is tht first tiiut- ome pariakes of the holy

coiiiMiiini' u. 'riu) child then is cxpecti.'d volun-

; i i

1 1

t J ,

!
i

1 !'

t .

150

8PIRTTUAL STRUGGLES.

tarily to assume the vows taken by his sponsors,
or godfather and godmother, at the time of bap-
tism. The Catechism has first to be thoroughly
learned. The Sabbath previous to the real com-
munion, in order to prepare the candidates more
perfectly for that solemn event, all the children
sufficiently versed in the Catechism, and sup-
posed to be truly penitent, enjoy what they call
' communion en hhnic! You can interpret it
either communion in white, or in blank, for it
is both. The little oirls are all dressed in white,
and the boys are neatly attired, while each is
garlanded with wreaths of flowers and evergreens.
After performing various ceremonies, at the
proper time they are led to the altar, and the
priest goes through the regular process of admi-
nistering communion to them with unconsecrated,
that is, with blank ' wafers. The week follow-
ing is generally ^^pent in solemn devotions, such
as going fre(juently to confession, perhaps every
day ; spending many hours in church repeating
aad reading prayt^i-s ; fasting and performing
other penances, until the Sabbath arrives. Then
the services are made especially impressing, and
the occasion is long remembered.

" When r made my first communion, I was as
truly penitent as it seems to me any (me could
be. It was not with me as I am sure it is with
many, who, as the day of confession approaches,

GREAT STRUOOLES.

151

grow restless and gloomy, and who mistake the
shame of their disoiisting- disclosure for the
sincere repentance of their sins. For at least
forty-eight hours I wept almost incessantly.
My soul was in an agony of desire to be freed
from its load of sin. I panted for freedom. 1
fasted until 1 well-nigh fainted. Sin ! T hated
il; I abhorred it. T hated myself, because 1
was a sinner. There was no penance I was not
willing to perform ; and I confidently expected
help from the ordinances of God's house. But
all my promises of reformation and my prayers,
added to those of the priest and his absolution,
were in vain. The fountain of my disease had
not been reached. T was still a s'avc, sold under
sin. I saw what seemed to be right, but failed
to do it ; I knew what was wrong, and yet did
it. The temple of my soul was in ruins. My
heart was the hold of every foul spirit, and a
cage of every unclean and hatefvd bird and
beast, each clamouring for the ascendency. My
intellectual faculties had declared war atjainst
my moral nature, and my bodily intirnuties and
wants had taken up arms against both. There
was a contradiction, a conflict within me."

" O, father ! " exclaimed Luella, "how per-
fectly that condition is descril^ed in the seventh
chapter of Paul's Epistle to the Romans." She
then read from the fourteenth verse to nearly

r ' I

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152

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

the close of the chapter, ending with the lamen-
tation, " 0, wretched man that I am ! who shall
deliver me from the body of this death ? "

" Yes ; that was the wail of my weary soul.
But to my pitiful inquiry came back the sad,
the only echo, ' Who ? ' There were inward
cravings and yearnings which found no satisfac-
tion in external rites. Indeed, these ceremonies
only complicated and increased my difficulties.
I found I had leaned upon a reed which not
only broke, but whose splintered and jagged
ends made a fearful wound in my spirit, for the
healing of which I knew no l)alm."

" ! " exclaimed Monsieur Grenier, " why is it
that I, in having a similar experience, should
have thought that no one else ever had such
trouble as myself ? You have described my own
struggles of soul even better than I could have
done."

" Few persons, if any," I replied. " have, as I
have learned, a unique experience ; and yet
nearly every one is tempted to believe that no
one can" ever know his griefs and truly care for
his soul. This, too, was a sore trial to me at
the time. But I have not told you all I wish to.
Other expedients to relieve my spiritual distresses
were suggested, accompanied with ^.'I'eater fast-
ings and more humiliating prayers. I was
taught that confirmation — a sacrament which,

nONFIBMATION BY M'^CLOSKEY. 1 o.S

' t '

like baptism, can be received but once, and at
the hands of a bishop — would impart to me the
' Holy Ghost, and mako me strong, and a per-
fect Christian and soldier of Jesus Christ.'
Bishop John McCMoskey, then of the diocese of
Albany, now (Cardinal at New York, was about
to visit Ticondorooa to administer this holy
sacrament. 1 looked forward to the occasion
with unusual interest. All due preparatu n of
heart and mind was made for the longed-for day.
By the parish priest, Mr. Olivetti, an Italian,
residing at Whitehall, N. Y., at whose hand I
had comuumed, 1 was regarded as having made
sufficient proficiency in the preceding degree to
entitle me to this, and with others I was
presented for this final seal of discipleship, to be
confirmed in the faith, and fortified against all
its visible and invisible enemies. My soul break-
ing out with intense hmging for divine assistance,
I stood before that august prelate, a splendid
man to look upon, attired in his episcopal robes ;
was anointed with the holy chrism in the sign
of the cross on my forehead, and dismissed with
the tap of his jewelled finger on my cheek,
accouipanied with the blessing, ' pdx tecuin,' that
is, peace be with thee. Then 1 retired to test in
real life the blessing which they assured me
was then given to me. But, alas ! alas ! what
were my subsoijuent dismay aiui despair when I

; •'

154

SPIRTTTJA L S TN VG (I J. ES.

discovered that, like the woman spoken of in
the gospels, ' T was nothinj^- bettered, but rather
grew worse.' I was not more wicked than
before, but I felt more corruption within.
With every increased effort to overcome sin, 1 saw
more and more vividly mysinfulness and helpless-
ness. The chained or caged tiger when asleep or in
quiet may seem as free as his fellows which rest
in the deep jungles ; but when he tugs at his
chain, or lashe^ in vain the iron bars, he feels
his bondage and weakness. So the ' law of sin
and death ' held me fast, and had 1 known the
words, my cry would have been,

** ' Nor bleeding Inrd, nor bleeding Itciist,
Nor hyssop branch, nor sprinkling ])riest,
Nor running brook, nor Hoo 1, nor sea,
Can wash the dismal stain awav.'

" My state was deplorable beyond description.
Often when alone — and 1 greatly courted
solitude, and many times con tern plated the life
of a hermit, such as I had read of in the history
of the so-called saints of the Middle Ao-es — I was
so consumed by my inward griefs and filled with
unutterable agony, that I would often cease
from work, if employed, and stand for many
minutes like a mute, cold statue. And yet I
was at times extremely gay in society, where I
sought to drown my hidden woes. No one of
my acquaintances was more social and vivacious

GREAT STRUGGLES AND FALSE REFUGES. 155

than myself, and I was often the leader in
games, sports, and tricks, sometimes spending
whole nights in convivialities. But more than
once in the midst of a game at cards, or in the
figures of a dance, or in a lively chit-chat with
friends, I was seized with a strange conviction
of my sinfulness that I was scarcely able to
hide from those around me. When I was alone,
I sighed for something I could not find. I was
an enigma to myself, filled with the extremes
of gaiety and griefs, of sunshine and shade,
with a tincture of soul-bitterness diffused
through the whole.

" At times my nature seemed to be an ugly
conglomeration of hyena teeth and wasp stings,
of serpent scales and porcupine quills, thoroughly
sprinkled with fire and brimstone, for I had a
terribly high temper, which, when aroused, was
fearful and cruel ; and yet I was capable of the
most delicate appreciation of the beautiful in
nature and in morals, and my heart was open
to the tenderest sympathies. The war-like,
poetic, and religious spirit of my ancestors had
in me a strange blending. Some days I was
woefully wicked, and yet my conscience was so
tender that if through haste, in the morning, I
happened to perform any ordinary labour before
offering my prayer ; or if I failed to give due
attention to the prayer — though every one will

(

r-s

156

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

easily see the difficulty of repeating every day
from memory a prayer in an unknown tongue
without wanderings of thought; or if, by
mistake. I chanced even to taste meat on Fridav,
or was guilty of any similar delinquency, 1 was
thrown into a kind of spiritual convulsion, from
which r could not recover until 1 had confessed
it all to the priest, and performed my penance.
All this was far from relic^ving me ; l)ut when
the old .score was canceled, 1 seemed to run into
other spiritual debts with a somewhat lighter
heart. 1 might have applied to myself, with a
good degree of appropi iteness, the quaint old
couplet —

" 'To good and evil e({iial bent.
I'm both a devil and ii .Siiint.'

And thus in grief my days passed wearily by,
my soul nmttering constantly the sentiments of
a few lines in Lee's Mithridates, which 1 after-
ward found : —

" ' What miracle
Can work me into hope ? Heaven here is liankrujit :
The wondering gods blush at their want of power,
And, <[uite abashed, confess they t!aunot help me ! ' "

" I can scarcely comprehend," said the Pro-
fessor, who had not yet spoken a word, "how
you could endure such constant grief without
breaking down your constitution."

" 1 ought to mention, to the praise of God,

/V THE ATiAfY.

157

f;hat he gave me a constitution endowed with
rare powers of endurance, h'or upward of
thirty years I have not V)oen detained from the
labours of my vocation a single half day, nor
confined to tlie house one hour hv illness. This
is true, though two and a half of tliose years
were spent in the trying campaigns of the armies
of the Potomac and of the Shenandoah, includ-
ing tlnee months' confinement in Li])l)y Prison,
in the midst of starvation, tilthiness, and deatli.
To pains and aches, however, I am comparatively
a stranger. But 1 ought to mention as a reason
for this physical soundness and strength, tliat
from childhood I liave strictly adliered to a
total al)stinence pledge, and have never made
use of tobacco in any form. T have made the
' laws of health ' a subject of study and practice.
And T believe that the teaching of these princi-
ples — so frequently urged in the Bible —
especially to the young, is a great want of the
times. ExcusQ me, if you please, for this
digression.

" But to my spiritual griefs there were also
given intervals of comparative rest, though,
like angels' visits, they were * few and far
between.' My principal relief was found in
religious devotions. So I increased my fastings
and prayers. I had frequent recourse to the
Virgin Mary and to my patron saint. 1 often

.! \

158

spuiiTVA i sTiafaarES.

I m

(ft

visitrH fcho church, anrl went throuo^h the ma
cruciH, or way oF thr cross, niakin*,' prayers at
the different stations in the l^ission of our Lord,
represented hy tho images on the walls, dole-
fully dragging myself on my knees arounil the
entire church. I repeato<l my c(mfessions to
the priest and received the connunnions, but
these I found to my great gri(if availed me even
less than at iirst, for they became more mechani-
cal, less earnest and real."

" I should think," said Luella, " that you
would have become discouraged and given up
all hope."

" 1 probably should, had not other refuges
been presented. I was taught to expect assist-
ance in • extreme unction ' and ' purgatory.'
But these were future, and hence not wholly
satisfactory. The promise of food next week
does not satisfy the hunger of to-day ; and it
avails nothing at all, unless you have ground to
hope that you will hold out until the expected
relief arrives. But here was my perplexity. I
was taught that extreme unction is a holy sacra-
ment which imparts spiritual succor to the sick
and dying, and that no one receiving it can
possibly be lost."

"Is it not substantially the teaching of St.
James ? " asked Nora.

** Not at all, Nora, as I understand the passage.

/'.'.Y TnKMK VNCTrON.

1 5!)

St. Jaiiios rrcninnu'inls tlic f»il to In* Mse«i iinvli-
cinully, jis is tlir juacticr in tliosc eastern lands
even to tliis day. Tlie oood Samaritan poured
oil in tlie wounds of tlie afflicted man. It was
evidently the prayei- oV t'aitli. as St. James tells
us, that should raise the sick, it* a miraculous
raisin;^' werti eHected. 'I'he oil was only a
natural n^medy, and the tiHect was natural. I^ut
the priests ol* the ('atholic ('hurch use it, not
with the intention of raising' tl\e sick — for they
never administer it when thcrti is even a prosj)ect
of recovery — hut to prepare the sick to die.
This is not the intent of St. James. The
administration of extreme unction in Canada is
made a season of great solemnity. 1 have
several times assisted the priest in this holy
office. He, carrying the consecrated wafer in its
golden pyx, marches solemnly from the church
to the house of the dying, accompanie<l by a few
acolytes, one of whom, or the sexton, preceding
him some distance, rings a hand-bell, the
peculiar sound of which is readily understood
by all who hear it, to announce that * le ban
JDieu,' the good God, even our Lord Jesus Christ
himself, is about to pass by. Everybody, thus
forewarned, is ready as the priest comes, to kneel
down either in the street, or in the house, or
shop, or field, and with bowed head to worship
the passing deity."

li'l

Ilil

rssfw

lia I

ino

SPIRIT U A L STB IIGGLKS.

" But," exclaimed Johnnie, " how is it that we
nevvjr sec any such processions in this country ?"

" Simply because in these parts they carry the
wafer god more privately," Aunt Melie replied.

" To prevent scandal," added Nora, " where
there are so many Protestant unhelievers."

"1 cannot see," said Luella, "how anything
scriptural, anything which ought to Ijc done for
the dying, could be scandalous."

Nora seemed to feel the force of the remark,
and remained thoughtfully silent, while I went
on:

" The priest, having reached the place, orders
tapers or candles to be lighted, repeats many
prayers and litanies, and then making three
times the sign of the cross upon the sick one
at the name of each person of the Trinity, says,
* In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and
of the Holy (Ihost, may all power of the devil
be extinguished in thee by the laying on of our
hands, ctiid the invocation of all the holy angels,
archangels, patriarchs, prophets,apostles,martyrs,
confessors, virgins, and all the saints.' Then
dipping his thumb in the chrism, he anoints the
sick person in the form of the cross upon the
eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands, and feet ;
at each anointino- makino- use of tliis form of
prayer : ' Through this holy unction, and His
own most tender n^ercy, may the Lord pardon

YEARNINGS FOR THE PRIESTHOOD. 161

thee whatever sin tlioii hast coininitted by thy
siglit. Amen.' And so of blie liearing, and of
the rest, adapting the form to the several
senses." *

" I shouh.l think that woidd be enough to kill
even a well person ! " added Aunt Melie.

" But the impression made upon my mind was,
that so imposing a ceremony nnist be quite
efficacious to prepare the soul for its exit from
earth ; and so 1 was taught. 1 knew that only
a priest could administer this sacrament, and
that when anyone was sick we always sent for
him sooner than for tlie physician. This in-
spired in me such strong yearnings toward the
priesthood, that I resolved either to become a
priest myself, or to be somewhat associated with
one, so that I could not fail to secure his services
in the dying hour. This desire was intensified
by hearing my father pray during Lent — the
only time we had family worship — that God
would save us from sudden death. But my
father was too poor to afford to educate me for
a priest, or even to spare me to be the servant of
one. Here was another serious obstacle to my
salvation. These untoward circumstances caused
me no little uneasiness.

" But right in the midst of these perplexities

Challoner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 111.

iiOr

162

SPIRITUAL STRUaaiES.

it seemed as if Providence smiled on me. A
mission, or what we would call 'a series of extra
meetin^rs,' was held in our town, under the
direction and labours of brothers Telmon, Lagier,
and others, known as the Oblate missionaries ;
and during these meetings they presented the
saving and niiracvdous influences of the scajyidar."

At the mention of this word, the Professor,
who sat nea. the table, took the dictionary, and
finding the place, read : " A part of the habit of
certain religious orders in the Roman Catholic
Church, consisting of two bands of woollen stuff
worn over the gown, of which one crosses the
back or shoulder, and the other the stomach.
This is worn as a badge of peculiar veneration
for the Virgin Mary."

When he had closed the book I said : '' But
as this mode of wearing the scapular would
not be convenient for labouring people, those
'brothers' directed us to make them of two
small pieces of w^oollen stufl two or three inches
square, but double, so as to form a receptacle for
medals of the Virgin, or relics of some old saint,
or an agnus Dei, which is a cake of wax stamped
with the figure of a lamb supporting the banner
of the cross, blessed by the Pope with solemn
prayer, and anointed with holy chrism. This,
too, is supposed to possess the power of preserv-
ing those who carry it in faith, from accidents

TllK ^GAl'VLAH,

163

and sudden death. These two double pieces of
cloth, fastened together by two strings or rib-
bons which pass on either side of the neck, were
to be worn next the body, one on the breast,
the other on tlie back."

Here I unlocked a little box and exhibited to
the company a scapular, which Mrs. Beaudry
had made for this occasion.

"Why !" exclaimed Johnnie, "it is just like
what I saw on several boys last summer, when
we went into the river bathing. They tied
them fast around their necks, ' for fear of losing
them,' they said. And when I asked what they
were, and wdiy they did not take them otf and
leave them with their clothes, they bhished, but
would not tell me."

While he was talking, Nora quickly disap-
peared from the room, but soon returning with
a scapular in one hand and an agnus Dei in the
other, she gave the former to Johnnie and the
latter to Mary, observing: — " There; I have
been fooled long enough ! For nearly five years
I have been wearing these trinkets and trusting
in them, instead of trusting in the only Lamb
of God. You may have them as mementoes
of my former ignorance, or for playthings."
This brief speech had an electrical etiect on
every one. When quiet was restored, 1 further
explained : —

:i>

164

SPJRITUA L STR UGGLES.

I !

i\ !

"We were told that this thinn: oriccinated with
KSiiiion Stock, general of the Carmelites, an
order of monks. Tlie celebrated Pore Hya-
cinthe, now one of the leaders of the ' Old
Catholic ' party in Europe, formerly belonged
to this order. It was said that while this
Simon was enixa^ed in devotions on or about
July 10, 1251, the Virgin Mary appeared to
him."

" Times must have changed nee Gospel
days," interrupted Luella, with a play of irony
in her manner, " for 1 read that Jesus then ap-
peared to Simon, but I have ijjver read in the
Bible that the Virgin Mary after death ever
appeared to any of the sacred writers."

"I am giving you the authority oi the
Roman Catholic Church now. Pjease keep
this in mind. As the account went, the Virgin
had a scapular in her hands, which she placed
upon the devout monk, and assured him that
whoever should wear a similar one in her honour,
and daily repeat an Ave Maria and Pater noster,
should not die in mortal sin — that is, without
the succours of the priesthood. We were further
told that the thino- had never failed to atford the
promised relief, numberless miracles of preser-
vation from death on land and sea beinfj cited
to prove the efficacy of the great revelation, and
to stinmlate the faith of the people.

HtfLV LIFE- rUKSKR \ ' KUS.

IC);-)

"Tliis was just tlio tiling' T w«ante(l. At tlio
close of the service. UirinLT which I )iad listened
with rapt attention to these wonderful dis-
closures, I ran home to relate what 1 had
heard to my mother, who had remained busy
with her work ; for we were carryinuf on a
brisk trade in eatables and home-matle beer
with the multitudes who were attracted to
these meetinixs from all the ' renjion round
about.' I (juickly described to her the scapu-
lar, and soon the whole fanuly, who appeared
quite as much interested as myself, was sup-
plied with these holy life-preservers, and ready
to be received into the order. The day was
appointed for the solemn service of inaugura-
tion, and thousands came toixether of old and
young, each bringing his new-made scapular
with him. Some were beautifully wrought
in tue highest ^tyle of needlework, while
others were very plain. At the hour appointed,
the multitudes crowded to the altar, where we
knelt, oiio priest blessing the scapulars with
holy water, and another putti-rst'; them on
our necks, amid chantinfj ol hymns to
the Virgin Mary, who was believed to have
vouchsafed to her childreu so distinouishetl a
mark of her love and power. A prayer was
also offered in v/hich we promised to take the
Virgin for our Patroness^ our Advocate, and

H !f

■ ' ''1 1 .1

'•;! I

! ■'!

\\m

16()

spjmruA L sTRuaaL?:H.

our Mother, pledged ourselves to be her children
anrl perpetual servants, and ended in saying
to hei-, ' (J rant, by thy powerful intercession,
that 1 may have a perfect zeal for thy honour,
and tliat this holy scapuUir, which I desire to
carry (bu'ing my whole life as a witness of my
dedication to thee, may be the means of pre-
servinn^ me from the dan<xer.M of eternal death,
and conducting me in safety to everlasting bliss.
Amen.' " *

" O, what doul^ly-compounded idolatry ! "
cried Aunt Melie. " And was there no fear of
quackery in your mind ? A quack, you know,
always professes either to cure all kinds of
diseases with one medicine, or to cure one specific
disease with a great variety of medicines. Now,
the Gospel, as I understand it, recognizes but
one great disease in humanity — namely, sin. It
proposes but one remedy, and that one specific
and sovereign — namely, the blood of Jesus
Christ. But according to the facts you have
stated — and I cannot think I have forgotten
one of them — you were made to depend for
the pardon of sin and salvation upon a great
variety of things. I may not be able to give
the doses in their proper order, but here is the
general prescription : 1 . Baptism ; 2. Sacrament

* "Way to Hciiven," ]> 391.

fiHARlATAyi^M.

167

of penance, or confession to a priest ; 3. Penances
performed by yourself ; 4. Conuniinion ; 5.
Confirmation ; G. Extreme unction ; 7. Holy
water; 8. Holy chrism ; 1). Palm branches; 10.
Crucifixes; 11. Way-side crosses; 12. Images;
13. The Virgin Mary ; 14. Other saints ; 15.
Angels ; IG. Relics ; 17. Medals ; 18. Agnus
Del; 19. Scapulars; 20. Rosary chaplets ; 21.
Pilgrimages ; 22. Masses ; 23. Indulgences ; 24.
Purgatory ! If this be not a perfect specimen
of religious quackery, pray tell me what it is ? "

" I assure you that I did not then see it in
that light. I was taught to regard this great
variety of expedients as an evidence of the
unlimited bounty of the Church, showing her
inventive genius and marvellous power."

" But could you not see that, if any one of
these two dozen things had been a truly divine,
and hence all-sullicient remedy, no other would
have been sought after ? No one would be so
foolish as to call a second pliysieian, if the first
were all-wise and all-powerful to relieve !"

" O, I did not stop to reason much upon the
subject, for the Church told me not to do so. I
was only perplexed to know which expedient
was most salutary ; and I hoped that in the great
multitude of them, some one, or the joint
intl lence of them all, would, perhaps, somehow
and somewhere,, prove satisfactory.

^11

. t

iiiiSI

3»

168

SPTRTTUAL STRUGGLES.

" But 1 had a wonderful confidence in my
scapular. I never, for a single moment, removed
it from my body for fear of dying without it.
When the first became old, and the strings
began to give way, I had another made, but
the new was put on before the old was dis-
placed. I then actually believed my scapular
saved my life on several occasion^? — once from
the kick of a horse, which just grazed my face,
and once from the fall of a tree, which barely
missed my head."

" How mu'ch like my own, thus far, your
experience has been," interrupted Monsieur
Grenier ; " but how did you feel at last ? "

" Wretchedly unhappy. For with all \\\y
helps in pri(\sts and prayers, 1 was still con-
scious of vhuk depiavity within. I loathed
myself, and found no rest fiU' my soul. 1 was
like one pursuing a splendid mirage or phantom.
I was only repeating my childhood sports,
though sadly, when for hours of sunshine
through the meadows I chased the gaudy but-
terfly, or at eventide the star-like firefly,
without catching them ; or by moonlight endea-
voured to overleap my own shadow, which,
with equal pace, fled as I advanced. It was
the old story of Tantalus, whom Ulysses was
fabled to have seen in the lower world, standing
up to his chin in water, which constantly eluded

IVOE UNJJTTKRA llhK.

100

\ ;

his lip as often as he attempted to quench tlie
thirst that tormented him. Over his head grew
all kinds of fruits ; hut whenever he reached
forth his hands to pluck them, the wind scat-
tered them to the cliuids. 1 think that Tsaiah
lias most graphically descrihed my Htato. lie
says : ' It shall even 1h» as when a hungry man
dreameth, and, lu^hold, he eateth ; hut he
awaketh, and his soul is empty ; or as wlien a
thirsty man dn^ameth, and, behold, he drinketh ;
but he awaketh, and, behold, he is faint.'

" I looked upon the singing bir<ls and the
grazing cattle with envy. ! why had T power
to know right and wrong, when I had not power
to follow the fot'iner nor to overcome the latter (
Why had I a conscience to scourge me as with
scorj)ions ? I could have cried,

" 'O that I liad bcoii formed
An idiot from the birth ! a senseless chaii^eliiig,
Who eats his gluttons' meals with greeny haste,
Nor knows the hand which feeds him ! '

I would have gladly exchanged existence even
with a loathsome, crawling viper. I could
never account for such a dreadful thought ; it
must have been purely Satanic. Fiife was to
me a bitter thing, and death I looked upon with
shrinking horror. In my deep distress I cursed
the day that gave me being, and wished that T
had died in my cliildhood. Terrible as is the

ill

170

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

desiro, I prayed for annihilation ! I arraigned
the God of lieaven, and came near cursing my
Maker. These strufjijles continued for several
years. Certain passages in the penitential
psalms perfectly expressed my state : —

" ' I am weary with my groaning ; all the
night make I my bed to swim ; I water my
couch with my tears. For mine iniquities are
gone over mine head : as a heavy burden they
are too heavy for me. For my days are con-
sumed like smoke, and my bones are burned as
a hearth. My heart is smitten, and withered
like grass ; so that I forget to eat my bread.
By reason of the voice of my groaning my
bones cleave to my skin. I am like a pelican
of the wilderness ; I am like an owl of the
desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone
upon the housetop.' "

With this sad portraiture of my state before
us we were compelled to close our interview, for
swift-winged Time announced the call to other
duties.

Providential Mkans of Rklief — Ticonderoga —
Lkavixu Home— Cream Hill, Vt. — At School —
Great PRooiniss — Teaching — Henryville, Canada
— Diary — Joseph Cook - Extempore Speaking.

I will briiiir the blind by a way that tlioy knew not ; I will load them
in patlis they have not known : I will make darkness ligfit before them,
and crooked thinj,^) straight. — Iniiiah.

^ ANY moments of tho week which
followed our last conversation were
spent in study in<^ the interestinfr
cartoons in " Harper's Weekly," with
which the children, and especially
Nora, who was personally acquainted with some
of the parties represented, were perfectly de-
lighted. By placinr^ several successive numbers
of this brilliant periodical on a long table, side
by side, we could readily trace the history of the
revelations of the most astounding official cor-
ruption of modern times, accompanied with
priestly interference with our system of common
schools, and intermeddling with politics. These
papers greatly increased the interest in my story,

ill ■

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2.2

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U III 1.6

Photographic

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23 WEST MAIN STREET

WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580

(:'6) 872-4503

«p<

■' r^

1:^

172

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

while they revived memories of events and
principles already explained.

On assembling this time we missed our
friend. Monsieur Grenier ; but the Professor was
promptly on hand — indeed, he had accompanied
us from the Sunday-school. Luella had not for-
gotten the gloomy description of my state of
mind, given last Sabbath, and as soon as possible
she said : —

" Now, father, pray tell us in what way you
were ever led to abandon the views you formerly
entertained, and how you came in possession of
the cheerful, spiritual frame of mind in which I
have always known you to be."

" It affords me great pleasure, I assure you, to
be able to turn from that shady side of my life
to one more sunny ; from that midnight gloom
to the bright, glowing day. But the story is
not a very brief one."

" Never mind the length," almost shouted
Johnnie, " so long as it is good. When we little
folks begin to get weary, it will probably be
time to stop ; but I hope not before."

" With this assurance on your part I will pro-
ceed. But I wish to preface my narrative by say-
ing, that the leadings of Providence are often very
mysterious and surprising. Cowper wrote : —

** ' God moves in a mysterious way,
His wonders to perform.'

( I

! I

A WAY I KNEW NOT.

173

In view of this great truth, Jeremiah exclaims,
*0 Lord, I know that the way of man is not in
himself : it is not in man that walketh to direct
his steps.' The history of Abraham, the father
and type of true believers, beautifully exemplifies
the same truth. God's hand may be seen also
in all the wanderings of the Hebrew people.
We see it especially in the history of Saul of
Tarsus, afterward the apostle Paul. How little
did he know, when he left Jerusalem with
letters from the chief priests, authorizing him
to destroy, by every means possible, the newly-
rising sect of Nazarenes, that in a few days he
would be preaching the faith he was then so
zealously endeavouring to overthrow ; consort-
ing with the very people against whom he was
breathing out threatening and slaughter ; build
ing up the Church of which he was making so
fearful havoc, and suffering persecution at the
hands of his nation and family ! God led him
in a way he knew not, and took the scales of
error from his eyes. In after years he wrote to
Timothy concerning nimself in these humiliating
terms : * Who was before a blasphemer, and a
persecutor, and injurious ; but I obtained mercy
because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.' In
more respects than one the same statement is
true of myself."

liii

i!i'

174

HPlRirUA L 8 TR U(7GLES.

.IS

" Was your conversion indeed like St. Paul's ? "
inquired Luella.

" In many regards the conversion of every
Christian resembles his, and it was particularly
so with mine, as you will see at the proper time
in my narrative. But now I want to tell you
of the providential means that led to so impor-
tant an evert. Leaving home is the first thing
I will mention. Sad as I felt at the time, this
was, nevertheless, a God-send, I am sui'e.

'' On March 3, 1848, my father died. As he
left no property for the children to trust in or
to quarrrel over, each one had to go forth and
'paddle his own canoe.' My father's death
occurred in a wild region called New Hague, on
the southern border of the town of Ticonderoga,
about two miles from Lake George. An older
brother had purchased a farm there, and, with
hired men, set to work to clear the land and
bring it into cultivation. As I was a stout boy
for one of my age, I was also hired with other
brothers. At this hard work I spent more than
a year. But while the land was being cleared
and cultivated, my heart and mind were not
only neglected, but brought under the grossest
influenres. The morals of the place were utterly
wretched. There was neither school-house nor
church for several miles. The region was a
rendezvous of second-rate lumbermen, worn out

LEA VINCr HOME.

175

'canallers/ and runaways from justice, with
very few exceptions. Dancing and drinking,
with all manner of vulgarities and obscenities,
were the order of the day. The Sabbaths were
occasions of the most rampant wickedness ;
except once in four weeks, when the whole
neighbourhood disgorged the majority of its
population, who went several miles to the
Koman Catholic church in Ticonderoga. It was
during this period that I passed through some
of the most fearful experiences of my life. Most
corrupt practices were there taught me, and yet
at times I struggled, though in vain, to shake
off the monster that was devouring my very
vitals.

" In the autumn of 1849, through a little mis-
understanding, I was drawn into a sharp en-
counter of words with my brother, for whom
I was working. This led to our separation, and
to my leaving home. Too late he repented, and
confessed his undeserved rebuke of me, and
strove to retain me ; but I was determined, and
would not stay. You have read of Benjamin
Franklin, whom difficulties with a brother sent
out into the world, and who went to Phila-
delphia, with three rolls of bread under his arm,
and his pockets stuft'ed with stockings and shirts
— these being all the estate he possessed. Well,
it was something such an appearance I presented

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170

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

as I took my little bundles and started out to
seek my fortune. My mother piously com-
mended me to the Virgin Mary, and told me
not to forget my Church nor my scapular. I
embraced her, shedding tears which I endea-
voured in vain to restrain, and left."

" But why did you cry so ? " inquired Johnnie,
almost sobbing as he said it.

" 0, I can scarcely tell you why. But the
world looked so cold and wide, and I was going
forth into it penniless, friendless — a wretched,
ignorant boy. Then, too, I had so strong an
attachment to my friends, especially to my
dear mother, that this separation nearly broke
my heart. I moved away from the house with
slow, measured steps, and as I went over the
first knoll, whence I could take a last look of
home, I turned and saw my mother still standing
at the door with her apron to her face. Had it
not been for what seemed the leadings of an
invisible hand, which some, I suppose, would
call the hand of Destiny, I could not have gone
farther. But the die was cast ; the Rubicon
waa crossed ; so I resumed my journey. I had
a brother living i:^. a place called Cream Hill — a
name of good omen — in the town of Shoreham,
Addison County, Vermont. Thither I bent my
steps. After spending a weary and almost
sleepless night with my brother, I found a good

JFORK AXD STUDY.

177

place with a neighbouring farmer named Perry,
who needed just such help as I could render.

"My mother had carefully taught me how to
mend my clothes and darn my stockings, and I
now found a good opportunity to practise what
I had learned. She had also urged me to go to
school, if I could possibly find a suitable place.
It had been her misfortune as well as my father's
to be without education. Hence their mark (X)
instead of their name may be found in several
documents. To gratify her as well as myself, I
sought a place with diligence, and succeeded.

" This leads me to speak of another powerful
means which God made use of in bringing about
my conversion — namely, education. Having
laboured for Mr. William E. Perry until his fall
work was finished, I went to Mr. Hiram Rich,
who resided near the school-house, agreeing to do
* chores,' which consisted mostly of feeding five
or six hundred sheep, and some cattle, for which
labour I was to be boarded. As his daughter
was the school teacher and boarded at home, I
was to receive her assistance in my lessons,
especially evenings — an arrang'^ment which
proved highly beneficial.

" I was then sixteen years old, large of my
age, and yet I could scarcely read or write, and
was ignorant of the elementary rules or princi-
ples of arithmetic. I was not a little ashamed

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178

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

tl i f

of myself as T appeared among my ffcUow-pupils,
most of whom were much younger than I in
years, and yet several years my superiors in
knowledge. My French pride was terribly
wounded, but it seemed to urge me on in my
efforts, and I began to apply myself night and
day. I soon became so absorbed in my books
that I could think of little else. Sometimes I was
even forgetful of my work. But Mr. Rich
would kindly excuse me by saying, ' I know
what's tlie matter with you : your studies fill
your entire mind.' It was no uncommon thing
for me to solve some of the most difficult pro-
blems of my arithmetic in my dreams. I often
studied during recesses when others were at
play. In fact, I studied everywhere, and all
the time. It seemed as if every power of my
intellect — and I had reached a period of life
when the mind is peculiarly active — was focal-
ized upon improvement. This was the charmed
circle around which all my thoughts revolved
and within which they were centred. As even
a few solar rays, caught by a convex lens, con-
verge to a burning point, so this harmony and
unity of my mental powers produced an intense
eagerness for knowledge, supplied me with light
as I advanced, and dispelled or dissolved the
difficulties that obstructed my way. I have
learned that it is application and enthusiasm,

> :

ENCOURAGING PBOGBESS.

179

'It

more than great opportunities or talents, that
accomplish any work."

" This is the key of success," said the Pro-
fessor. " But, pray, give us the particulars of
your achievements."

" My progress astonished both myself and
others. In three months' time I had gone
through what was called ' Adams's New Arith-
metic,' so that there was not a problem in it I
could not solve, and scarcely a principle I could
not explain. Then, for the first time, I took up
grammar and philosophy, finding in both the
keenest enjoyment. This unlooked-for success
changed the whole tenor of my life. Friends
began to advise me to pursue a regular course of
study. My mother, wonderfully gratified at
my success, urged me to press on in this direction.
There was one notable obstacle in my path,
however. I was entirely destitute pf means,
and too proud to ask friends for help. But I
had a vieforous frame, and was not afraid nor
ashamed to work ; and I saw how my hands and
feet might be made to contribute to my brain.
So when the winter term closed I engaged to
work again for Mr. Perry, and the proceeds of
my summer's work were sufficient to enable me
to attend most of the fall term at Newton
Academy, in the village of Shoreham. At the
close of the term I received from the principal,

180

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

Mr. Asa S. Jones, a very gr&iifymg recommenda-
tion for the position of district school teacher.

" I then presented myself to the school super-
intendent of the town of Tieonderoga, and,
after a rigid examination, received a legal
certificate which bears date November 12, 1850.
But it was too late in the season ; I found that
the schools were either commenced or had their
teachers engaged. However, as I was only
seventeen years of age, and perhaps too young
to have succeeded in teaching, I considered that
it v/as all for the best that I failed in my efforts,
and so returned to Cream Hill to attend the
district school, as I did the winter before. The
next spring my brother, who had been the cause
of my leaving home, urged me so strongly to
return and work for him that I consented, and
spent the summer labouring at house-carpentry.

" In the autumn of 1851 I secured a school in
the town of Hague, Warren County, N. Y.,
where I succeeded so well that, after teaching
three months, I was re-engaged for a fourth.
Then, taking my newly-earned money, I
hastened to Henryville, Canada, where, for
the sake of perfecting myself in my vernacular,
I spent most of the season in a French school.
While there, I was more deeply impressed than
ever with the contrast between Protestant and
Roman Catholic morality. I lamented to find

HENRYVriLE, CANADA.

1S1

it so, and was anxious to discover some power
that could put a stop to the violations of the
Sabbath ; and [ yearned to be able to do some-
thing myself for the moral elevation of my
fellow-religionists. I sometimes wept over the
moral desolation that prevailed. But in private
conversation with intimate friends, especially
with my eldest sister, in whose family I V)oarded,
I found that the state of things was quite com-
fortably acquiesced in, because tolerated by the
Church authorities, or, at least, tacitly sancti(3ned.
Notwithstanding my perplexities with regard to
such licensed irregularities, I went to confession
to the priest. Rev. Mr. St. Aubain, and partook
of the holy communion. By him, and by means
of certain books put into my hands, I was
taught to feel that all my troubles on this score
were temptations of Satan ; that the delinquen-
cies of Church-members were no argument
against the purity of the Church, and that
somehow the Church, by means of her
indulgences and spiritual authority, could
remove these blotches. So instead of losing
confidence in the Roman Catholic Church, I
was forced into a greater admiration of ein in-
stitution that could accomplish so great a thing.
" Strongly confirmed in these views, I re-
turned to the States, and continued to prosecute

"rr

182

SPTRITUA L STR UGCLES.

my education, teaching winters, and attending
school summers, except that through haying
and harvest time I generally felt compelled to
labour with my hands, for the sake of the
increased wages. After being in school, either
as a teacher or pupil, for about nine months in
succession, my hands were tender and my frame
relaxed, so that the result of the first few days
of toil was worse than I can describe. I have
had these hands so completely blistered, and my
body so overstrained, that I have found myself
in the morning so stiffened and sore as scarcely
to be able to move, or to handle a tool. But
the ultimate object stimulated me, and I endured
* hardness as a good soldier.* I know what hard
work is, and, when inured to it, I loved it for
its own sake. But sometimes I murmured at
my lot, and envied those fellow-students whose
parents gave them money to supply all their
wants, while I was compelled to deny myself
fine clothes, many needed books, and all deli-
cacies. But it was all right. I can see it now.
I needed the discipline. It threw me upon my
own resources, and gave me a better apprecia-
tion of what I gained. I dearly learned, that
self-denial leads to self-control, and that these
make self-reliance possible.

" In the autumn of 1852 I began to write a

MY DTAKY.

183

diary or journal, which I liave ever since con-
tinued."

"Do you mean this pile of books on the
shelf ? " asked Johnnie ; and so speakin^^', he
took out the seventeen volunios which are
written, being about all he could lift. "And
are all these books written throuirh ;* " he con-
tinned. " I would like to know how many pages
there are." The number of pages in each book
was pencilled down by Luella as he called them
off, which, with tho volume I am now writing,
amounted to nearly four thousand pages.

" It is not the number of pages I care much
about, children, but it is the improvement I
made in writing them. These pages, with the
composition or themes I used to write almost
weekly, greatly stimulated my thinking powers."

" I am sure," added the Professor, " that the
practice of writing such a diary not only pre-
serves many important events and incidents
which might otherwise be lost, but greatly
increases the power and facility with which a
writer can produce narrative or history. It
also teaches how to think deliberately and cor-
rectly."

" Thank you, Professor. I hope your remark
may stimulate my children in the habit of
journal- writing," I replied.

184

HP I R IT UA L STR UGGLES.

" About the time I commenced this practice,
which, as you may see in volume first, was
September 11, 1852, I also commenced the
exercise of speaking extempore. With a school-
mate by the name of Joseph Cook, of Ticonde-
roora — who is now a Confjrecrational minister of
Boston, celebrated for his popular lectures —
whose portrait you see on the wall, I agreed
upon the following plan : We wrote subjects
upon small pieces of paper, folded them, and
put them into a hat. After shaking them
thoroughly, we took turns in drawing out a
slip, and in speaking off-hand upon whatever
topic was written in it. This practice, perse-
vered in, taught us to think rapidly and on our
feet. Without the habit of close study and
careful writing, however, this ability would
have been hurtful ; but now it proved to be a
great help. Such was the improvement we
obtained in this way, that we organized a
literary society which had extemporaneous
speaking as its chief object, called it the ' Keese-
ville Cabal,' and gathered into it the best
students of the academy we were attending,
besides several young men of the village. The
attention I paid to the study of the Greek,
Latin, Spanish, and German languages also
aided me to a better understanding of the Eng-

EDUCATION.

18;

lish and French tongues, and served to discipline
my mind. Some of these studies were of
incalculable importance to me in subsequent in-
vestigations of religious truths."

" But what had education to do in bringing
you to Christ ? " asked Aunt Melie.

" Much every way. It gave me a key with
which to unlock the difficult problems that
presented themselves before me, while it inten-
sified my desire to know the truth of every
doctrine commended to my faith and practice.
It also enlarged ?nd liberalized my views of
religion, of men, and of things in general. ' My
people perish for want of knowledge,' said God
by the mouth of an ancient prophet, and
current history confirms such a statement.
Education is a mighty power, reminding one of
the mystic lever of Archimedes, who is reported
to have said to King Hiero, ' Give me where I
may stand, and I will move the world.' Assume
education to be this lever, the Bible the fulcrum,
and experimental and practical Christianity the
hand on the long arm of the lever, and you
have a force that cannot fail to lift the masses
upward."

'* A liberal education, free from all sectarian-
ism, I am convinced, is not only the hope of
Christianity, but also of all republics," added
the Professor.

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186

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" I know," I said, " that religion without cul-
ture leads to bigotry. Zeal without knowledge
results in shameful excesses. Witness all
religious wars or persecutions. On the other
hand, knowledge — I will not say education, for
this means the harmonious development of all
the faculties — knowledge without religion gene-
rally leads to infidelity. Much learning, without
God, makes men mad. We must blend the two.
They are like the wings of a bird, which are
both needed for its fliorht. In the lanofuaije of
my friend Cook, though applied to moral sua-
sion and legal power in the temperance work, I
may say of knowledge and religion, that
* whenever we have tried to move on one wing,
our flight has been a sorry spiral. It is not
claimed that either wing is yet fledged to the
full. But there is now historic ground to hope
that, when both pinions are grown, and both
used in equal librations, the reform, as an
archangel flying with steady vans in mid-
heaven above the nations, and dispensing bless-
ings, is to make the circuit of the globe.'
Therefore, taking the word * wisdom ' for true
religion, and ' understanding ' for general educa-
tion, I would urge these striking scriptural
proverb > : * Wisdom is the principal thing ;
therefore get wisdom : and with all thy getting.

■ ♦

c ■ ...

TRUE WISDOM.

187

get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall
promote thee ; she shall bring thee to honour,
when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to
thine head an ornament of grace ; a crown of
glory shall she deliver to thee. Her ways are
ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are
peace.' "

With these golden utterances for each one
to remember, our interview ended.

!' \

ill

; Jii

Persecution and Perplexity — Poor Nora — The
Nuns — With Joseph Cook — Keeseville, N. Y.—
First Hearing of the Word — Day Dawn — Sunday-
School.

Ye have taken away my gods which I made, and the priest, and ye are
gone away : and what have I more?— il/ica/t, of Mount Ephraim.

^HE interest in our interviews was becom-
ing unaccountably enthusiastic. Indeed,
scarcely a day passed that sometliing in
relation to them was not said. Nora,
by her recent and peculiar experience,
had become a centre of attraction, and bade fair
to be a moving spirit among us. She was
constantly receiving very severe letters from her
father, who threatened to disown her if she did
not leave us, and cast off ' those Protestant
heresies,' as he expressed himself. Her mother
maintained a more loving yet sorrowful attitude.
At last she received a note from the priest, full
of warnings, couched in such singular and
equivocal terms, that two or three various inter-
pretations could be attached to them. However,

PERSECUTION AND PERPLEXITY. 189

it was plain to see that the priest in whose
parochial limits we resided had bee pretty well
informed of Nora's wliereabouts ; and it was
quite clearly intijnated that if she did not leave
willingly, forcible measures might be instituted
for that purpose. At first, Nora displayed some
restlessness, and the fear of abduction tormented
her. (She had recently read Rev. Dr. Hiram Mt*,t-
tison's brief account of the kidnapping of Mi.ss
Mary Ann Smith, of Newark, New Jersey, who,
for renouncing Romanism, and joining the
Methodist Episcopal Church, and for no other
cause, was forcibly abducted and incarcerated in
the House of the Good Shepherd, one of those
institutions in New York which are suckled at
the breast of the public treasury. On reading
the book she doubted its truthfulness, but now
successive flashes of conviction that such treat-
ment was possible, even for herself, made her
feel uneasy. For some time her mind oscillated
between doubt and fear. But one day she said
to me, " If that's the way they expect to rule
me, they will find themselves mistaken. What
kind of religion can this be that would force
obedience to its commands ? That may have
done well enough in old Ireland, but it will
never do in free America. You know that this
is my native land, and somehow, within the past
few weeks particularly, it seems as if I waa

li.

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190

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

strangely influenced by its free air and free
institutions, especially when I compare our
privileges with the condition of things in the
old country, as related to me by my parents.
Now, really, I can't believe that they mean to do
as is intimated in this letter. It must be it
means something else." And thus she continued
talking about the matter, endeavouring to
believe better thincjs of her mother's Church.
But that she had fears was evidenced by her
carrying the strange letter constantly in her
pocket, and often reading it.

One evening, as she was returning from church
with Luella — for she had become greatly inter-
ested in our public meetings also — they met two
nuns, or " sisters," who on approaching them
gave signs of desiring to speak to them ; but as
they chanced to meet in a strong lamp-light,
and near an alley, the nuns very ingeniously
stepped aside into the shade of the corner building,
and invited the girls to follow. The latter were
not a little startled at first on seeing the two
white bonnets flopping in the night wind, and
on being thus accosted ; but as it was early in
the night, and the nuns appeared very pleasant,
they obeyed. On reaching the shaded nook, one
of them stepped up to Luella, and, in an under-
tone, inquired if she could tell her where the
Rev. Mr. Beaudry resided, in whose family lived

POOR NORA.

101

an Irish girl by the name of Nora O'C .

Nora, ah'eacly suspicious of the strangers, on
hearing her name thus called, instantly caught
Luella by the hand, and unceremoniously and
rapidly they both hastened home. They were
so overcome with fear, and so nearly breathless
from their chase when they arrived, that it was
some time before they could recount the incident.
Nora was so excited that lockinoj and boltin<x the
doors and windows would not quiet her, and I
was induced to go out and engage a special po-
liceman to watch the premises through the night.
Under these circumstances, it was for some days
difficult to tell what the poor girl would do.
She was more or less nervous day and night, and
did not dare on any account to enter the streets
except in the daytime, and with some member of
the family. I suggested the propriety of send-
ing her to my brother Charles's, near Lake
Champlain, where, for some time at least, she
might live in seclusion. But she averred that
the priest knew all about him also, as he had
declared to her in her last confession, so that
that home would be no covert from his designs.
And furthermore, she said she would regard
such a flight as little less than downright
cowardice.

At last her naturally independent Irish
character began to assert its power. She was

192

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

greatly stimulated and directed by the evangeli-
cal truths which she had already treasured up,
and soon, with a spirit resembling that of Joan
of Arc, she resolved to brave and overcome the
fiercest dangers. She asserted that this "vic-
torious state of mind," as she called it, was
gained while engaged in prayer to her blessed
Saviour ; and she meant now, if necessary, to
lose even her life for his sake. Her heroism was
really grand, and at times sublime, partaking
much of natural, though more of moral, courage.
In our first interview after this significant
event, when our whole company was present,
Nora elicited general sympathy, and several plans
were suggested to secrete her among our friends,
or by some means to make at least her liberty of
person secure. But avowing her purpose of
remaining with us and of trusting God for the
result, she finally relieved our anxiety by saying
that she had recently found a precious passage
in the prophecy of Isaiah, which she quoted as
follows : " No weapon that is formed against
thee shall prosper ; and every tongue that shall
rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."
" And then," she added, " if it comes to the
worst, Jesus has said, ' Fear not them which kill
the body, but are not able to kill the soul : but

PFITH JOSEPH COOK.

193

rather fear him which is able to destroy both
soul and body in hell.' I'll risk my destiny,
then, in the hands of Him who has all power in
heaven and in earth."

Johnnie, who was sitting near me, whispered
in my ear, " Don't you thin^', father, that Nora
is truly converted ? It seems almost as though
her face was shining like an angel's."

" Let us have no privacies here," I whispered
back ; " Nora will probably tell her own story in
due time."

"Well, father," he spoke aloud, *' please give
us more of your own experience now, for I am
sure we are all anxious to hear it."

As nothing else was suggested, I began : " An-
other important event in shaping my destiny
occurred in the autumn of 1852. During the
early part of September, through what I now
consider to have been purely providential lead-
ings, I went from Ticonderoga, with Joseph
Cook, to Keeseville, in the northern part of the
State, to attend an academy, allusion to which
has already been made. We arranged to board
and room together. He was not then a member
of any Church, but was strictly moral and even
religious, and well versed in the knowledge of
the Bible. In our first Sabbath experience in the
place he said to me, * Will you go with me to
the Presbyterian Church this morning ?' I
13

194

SFl RITUAL STRUGGLES.

hesitated a moment and then replied, ' Yes, if
you will go to the Roman Catholic Church with
me this afternoon." 'Certainly,' he unhesi-
tatingly answered, showing no prejudice against
it. I was not a little perplexed at my dilemma,
for I had a holy — rather an unholy — dread of
going into a Protestant church, looking upon it
as the sure way to perdition. My early teach-
ing on the subject came up forcibly to my mind.
But hoping that the harm I might incur would be
more than counterbalanced by the good he might
receive by going with me — for I greatly desired
to convert him to my faith — I finally ratified
my engagement and prepared to go with him.
" At the ringing of the bell from the old stone
tower by the bridge we started. But if the air
along the street had been filled with voices
whispering or crying, ' Don't go ! don't go ! ' I
could not have been more influenced. It seemed
as if my mother was looking at me, and plead-
ing to stay my steps. When I had entered the
vestibule of the church I shuddered, and would
have turned back had it not been that, like
Orpheus, who ventured to descend into Hades
to deliver his wife, Eurydice, I had hopes of
saving my friend. But soon the old gray-
haired sexton approached us, with such a sweet
smile and words so kind that T bega-n to feel
better, and he led us to a comfortable seat.

'' !!■

rUESBYTERIA N CH URCH.

105

That smile still lingers about my heart. Kind-
ness is a powerful educator.

" This was an occasion never to be forgotten.
The pastor's name was John Mattocks, now of
St. Paul, Minnesota. The pure simplicity of the
place and of the worship made a lasting impres-
sion upon my mind. All the praying, preaching,
and singing were in a language I perfectly under-
stood, and over all and through all there was a
fervent, loving spirit which quite captivated me.
It s-^emed as if the nobler sentiments and powers
of my heart and mind were drawn out and exer-
cised as I had never known them to be. I felt
a deeper love to God and his creatures. My re-
ligious nature was fed and refreshed. I regarded
the event as it seems to me a traveller must
regard an oasis in the desert, where he slakes
his thirst from pure, bubbling springs, and rests
his weary frame under a lofty palm which
supplies him both food and shelter. And yet
withal I was perplexed. How could these feel-
inors be reliable when such meetinors had been
represented to me by all my teachers as ' only
evil continually ? ' Were my emotions the
legitimate result of what I sar and heard, or
was T deceived ? Of one thing I felt quite sure,
that these meetings had been misrepresented,
whether wilfully or ignorantly I could not tell.

196

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

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I was certainly none the worse for having been
there. It could not be a sin, much less a
sacrilege or a cfinie, as Rev. Dr. Challoner says,
to attend such meetings. Tiien T had been mis-
taught upon this subject. Might not the same
thing be true of other subjects ? One thought
seemed to awaken another, and I experienced
the truth which I had somewhere read :—

" ' JiuUed in the countless chambers of the brain,
Our thou<;hts are linked by many a hidden chain ;
Awake bub onu, and lo ! what myriads rise —
Each stamps iis image as the oiher flies.'

Whither this mysterious train of thought would
lead me I could not have guessed."

"Did you again go to the Roman Catholic
church ? " inquired Luella.

" (.Certainly. We went, as we had engaged to
do in the morning. But I was somewhat
ashamed, even then, of the contrast between the
two meetings. Here our eyes were dazzled with
the gaudy paraphernalia of the place ; with the
imposing equipage of the priest, as Dryden says,

" ' Clad in a gown that glows with Tyrian rays,

and with the pompous ceremony. Our ears were
filled with sounds pleasant enough to amuse,
quite operatic, perhaps, but we heard scarcely a
word that one in a hundred present could under-

DA Y DA IV N.

197

stand. When I tried to apologize for this to my
friend, he quoted a brief criticism of the Apostle
Paul on tlie subject of speakin^if in the churches
in an 'unknown tongue,' which fell like a scath-
ing rebuke upon me, and 1 had nothing more to
say. But I had often vowed to be true to the
Church, thouLih 1 might be too weak to defend
her from her enemies, and so I continued attend-
ing lier services for several months, though with
decreasing interest, I occasionally attended a
Protestant church, and with increasing benefit.
It was during these days tliat 1 went with my
chum to a Sunday-school, with which I was so
pleased, that, as the boys sometimes say, ' I fell
in love with it.' "

" And did you at once begin courting, as is
generally the case ? " asked Johnnie, with a
roguish twinkle in his eyes.

" I am not ashamed to confess that 1 did, and it
was not long before we wedded, nor have we
ever soughi to b '■ divorced. I began to pay my
visits as often as I could, though not regularly,
either as a scholar or otherwise. I was still a
little shy of the influence of those simple Bible
lessons, for I was not yet the owner of a Bible,
and, of course, I was not a Bible reader."

" What ! nineteen years old, and had never
read a Bible I " exclaimed Luella.

llli! i

I! I
i

li m\

f I

t;i

198

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" It is even so. T could not then have told
you whether the book of Matthew was in the
Old Testament or the Nev/."

" Pray, <^ive us the reasons wliy you did not
read the Bible before this time."

Looking at my watch, I answered, " It is now
too late, and I must reserve this question for our
next interview."

XII.

The Bible — Various Versions — Luther — Jesuit
College, Montreal — Paul and Peter — Burni>os
— Mike and the Priest — My First Bible.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.— David.

|HEN we next came together, Luella
renewed her question about the Bible.

^i>l5^2^ She further remarked that she could

not see why Roman Catholics did not
love and read the Bible like Protestants.
For her part, she felt all the time like singing —

" How precious is tlie Book divine,
By inspiration given ;
Bright as a lamp its doctrines shine,
To guide our soids to heaven."

" You might go even further, Miss Luella,"
said Professor W., " for, truly, the Bible is the
inestimable gift of God to man, the only true
rule of our faith and practice. It is the great
lighthouse of the world."

" It is, indeed, the square," I added, " by which
we are to measure and lay out our religious
work. It is also the plumb-line seen by the

200

SPIRITUAL STBUOQLEa.

I a !: :■ ■!

!:'*

Prophet Amos in the midst of the people.
Isaiah says, ' Judgment also will I lay to the line,
and righteousness to the plummet,' meaning, of
course, the law of God, as revealed in his
word. He who is unwilling to abide by this
test must be false."

" As you intimate, these positions seem almost
axiomatic," remarked the Professor. " It is,
therefore, quite unaccountable, and very signifi-
cant withal, that the Romish authorities so un-
animously and decidedly oppose the Bible. It
would greatly please me to hear their reasons —
if they really have any — for so doing."

" The first reason I ever heard from them," I
replied, " is, that the Bible is essentially a Pro-
testant book. Hence I never heard a priest
mention the word Bible without contempt.
Whenever they desire to speak of their own
Bibles they use the term Holy Scriptures, or
Canonical Writings. In the Catechism in which
I was taught there is not a word said about the
Scriptures, for or against. Everything seems to
be referred to the authority of the Church."

" There is not much exaggeration, then," said
the Professor, *' in what a friend of mine wrote
me from Italy a few days ago. One para-
graph of his letter was as follows : ' Even
a Romish priest said to me, These gentlemen'
(meaning the Pope and his council) ' have

LUTHEB.

201

certainly simplified matters greatly. They have
reduced the creed to a sinsfle article — ' I believe
in the Pope ; ' the Bible to a single ver^e —
' Thou art Peter ; ' worship to a single observ-
ance — * Thou shalt worship the Blessed Virgin ; '
and duty to a single rule — ' In every diffi-
culty, consult the Sacred Congregation at Rome
and obey it exactly.' "

" This is quite true, and differs from my
early training mainly in this, that with me
the Bible was wholly ignored. My mother
used to spend hours in telling us that Luther,
a learned but depraved monk, intending to
invent a new religion suited to his lusts,
wrote a book, caused it to be hidden under a
tombstone in a cemetery, and then reported
that, in a vision of the night, angels had re-
vealed to him where lay the true Book of God.
Accordingly search was made, the book was
found, and hence our Bible and the Protestant
religion. She further told us that this same
Luther was tormented with the fires of hell
even before his death, so that his friends were
compelled to immerse him in a tub of cold
water, which, however, would in a few minutes
boil around his burning frame, necessitating fre-
quent changes of the bath. So much, then, about
my mother's teachmgs in regard to what she
supposed to be the true origin of Protestantism."

202

f^PIRITUAL STE^^^-ar^s.

,;; ■!

" Running in a parallel line with this, and
sufficiently similar to it to show their common
origin, came the teaching of the priests, that
the Protestant Bible is a falsified copy of the
word of God. Now, here are two Bibles — King
James's translation, as it Is called, held as autho-
rity among Protestants, and the Douay version,
held as authority in the Romish Church —
and I assert, that after long and careful study
and comparing of both, T find them so much
alike, that, bating the notes in the Douay, and
the Apocrypha, which neither the Jews nor the
early Christians considered a part of the sacred
Canon, it requires considerable and close
scrutiny to find the difference. Protestants
believe their copy to be a little the more
perfect — and for good reasons, for it is trans-
lated directly from the original tongues ; while
the Douay is a translation from the Latin Vul-
gate, which was itself translated from the origi-
nal Hebrew and Greek by Jerome, and subse-
quently revised by order of the Council of
Trent. I have also two translatiorn in French
— one by Genoude, and a New Testament by
Le Maistre de Sacy — both Catholic editions, and
yet so few and merely verbal are the differences
between the Protestant and Catholic versions
in my possession, that I have but little pre-
ference for one or the other. I will venture

JESUIT i'OLLKGE, MONTREAL.

203

to say, that it* either one is sent out into the
world without note or comment, it will become
a lamp for the feet of the nations, and a \\<^\\i
for their path."

" But how is it," inquired Monsieur Grenier,
" that priests are constantly urging that the Bible
is a dangerous book 'i Though several years a
student in the College of the Jesuits in Mont-
real, I never saw a Bible of any kind there.
The scarcity of Bibles among the Roman Ca-
tholics of Canada is proverbial."

" I remember well," I added, " that when an
oath was to be administered by an officer of the
law in our house once — and we were living in
the village of Henryville — it took a long time
to find a Bible for this purpose. And when at
last it was brouojht in — and I think it was a
Protestant copy — such a dread of it fell on us all,
that I hid away in a corner behind my mother,
just peeping out slyly to see what was going
on. and remained there trembling until the
dreaded volume was removed from the house.
But the priests say that it is dangerous because
* hard to be understood,' as Peter wrote in regard
to some things in the epistles of Paul. However,
Peter clearly shows that it is the unlearned and
unstable — though possibly learned in worldly
philosophy — who ' wrest these passages, as they
do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.'

'i !

204

SPIEITUAL STRUOGLES.

The passage does not disprove the fact of the
general simplicity of the Scriptures, which
Isaiah asserts are so easily understood that ' the
wayfaring man, though a fool, shall not err
therein,' and which Paul says to Timothy ' are
able to make wise unto salvation.' "

" But the priests hold, I believe, that Peter
condemns the right of private judgment in in-
terpreting the Scriptures," he continued.

" Let us examine the passage in question." J
then read from the Douay Bible as follows :
" And this voice we heard brought from heaven,
when we were with him in the holy mount. And
we have the more firm prophetical word : where-
unto you do \ ell to attend, as to a light that
shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and
the day-star arise in your hearts : understanding
this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is made
by private interpretation. For pro^jhecy came
not by the will of man at any time : but the holy
men of God spoke, inspired bj he Holy Ghost."
I then explained as follows : —

" The plain meaninp" of the apostle is this :
that while in the mount of transfiguration he
heard the voice of the Father testifying to the
Son's true Messiahship ; and now the writings
of the prophets concerning Christ are m'^re
firmly established or confirmed, showing that
they wrote or spoke as they were inspired by

PAUL AND PETER.

205

the Holy Ghost, and not from their own in-
dividual or private interpretation or inven-
tion, as the original word evidently signifies.
Hence the ' private interpretation' refers to the
giving or uttering of prophecy, and not to its
reception or reading by ourselves. In any event,
Roman Catholic ]>riests and people ' will do well
to attend to these prophetical words,' as they
are exhorted to do by the inspired Peter, ' As to
a light that shineth in a dark place, until the
day dawn, and the day-star arise in their hearts.
When I add to Peter's exhortation the command
of Christ to ' search the Scriptures,' and Luke's
commendation of the noble Bereans who studied
with blessed effect the word of truth, and Paul's
recognition of the glorious influence of Scripture
knowledge upon Timothy from his childhood,
and many other scriptural directions all agree-
ing with these, I am puzzled even now to account
for that teaching which led me in my childhood
to entertain such a superstitious fear of the Bible.
I once had a frightful dream in which I saw
Satan reading a Testament, and, awaking in
the midst of a feverish excitement, I believed
he was the only being in the universe that ought
to have free access to this strange book !

" Horrible as these views and feelings may
seem to you, they were nevertheless the legiti-
mate result of my instruction upon this subject.

a I

206

SPIRITUAL STBUGGLES.

I had listened to many discourses by bishops and
priests against the use of the Bible. This was
the burden of teaching during the mission of
' brother ' Telmon, at Henryville, at the time
I was received into the Order of the Scapular.
(See chapter viii.) And as actions always sjieak
louder than words, permit me to give you a
scrap of history concerning the operations of
that zealous man. About the middle of October,
18i2, by order of the Bishop of Montreal,
Telmon, with his coadjutors, came to a neigh-
bourhood in the town of Champlain, Clinton
County, N. Y., known as Corbeau, whose
inhabitants were nearly all French Canadians.
The people had been pretty well supplied with
Bibles and Testaments by means of colporteurs ;
hence the alleged necessity of the mission. After
the meetings had progressed some days, and
the priests had reached a high degree of power
over the public conscience, an order was issued
for the surrender of all the Bibles in the place.
Some of the people refused to give up what they
considered was to them a great treasure, but a
sufficient number of the sacred volumes were
brought to make a large bonfire, which was
kindled on the twenty-seventh of the month, in
open day, and in the presence of a large con-
course of people.* In 1855 I had the pleasure

* For further particulars see Bowling's "History of Ro-
manism," p. 612.

BURNING BIBLES.

207

of visiting this neighbourhood and of preaching
to the people, where I found some of the
families who still retained their proscribed
Bibles. But I found one old lady who delighted
to speak of herself as an eye-witness and
participant in the scenes of that conflagration,
and who boasted of her ' zeal for God ' by
saying, ' 1 would run up to the burning pile, kick
the Bibles further into the fire, and then fly
back for fear they'd poison me ! '" *

" Ah, it is plain," said the Professor gravely,
"as to who is responsible for the fear which
the great majority of Romanists have of the
Bible. In my travels through Spain, Italy,
South America, and some of the Atlantic
islands, I learned of individuals and whole
families who were imprisoned, and otherwise
punished by the Church, for being found read-
ing, or even possessing, a Bible. The same
would undoubtedly occur in this country if
Romanists were in the ascendency, and the
priests had the requisite power, as * Father '

* However, as the old woman thus kicked the partly-burned
Bibles, charred pieces were borne aloft by the wind, and came
back, like snowfiakes, upon the ground. A French t Canadian
boy of twelve, named Louis Morin, led by curiosity, gathered
a few of these fragments, and, reading them, was converted
to God. He died a few years later in the triumphs of the
Christian faith. Thus (Jod protects his holy Word, whatever
men may do.

208

SPIBITUAL STMUQGLES.

\'i ;.:ii

tf I

Hecker, the editor of the * Catholic World,' does
not scruple, in public lectures and otherwise, to
announce that they will have as soon as 1890, if
not before ! "'

" I hope not," I replied. " But permit me
here to give you the last plea of the priests
against the reading of the Bible by their people.
They say that it is unnecessary, because they
teach all that the people need to know in order
to their salvation."

" But what would you think of me as the
teacher of your children," added the Pro^ssor,
"if I should tell them, ' You have no need of
text-books to study ; all that is necessary is to
listen to me ? ' "

" I would have you dismissed at once if I
could," I replied.

" And yet there would be more ground to jus-
tify me in pursuing this course than for the
religious teacher in that, for there is scarcely
any occasion for controversy in the realm of
the common sciences, and even if a scientific
error were inculcated it might be easily cor-
rected ; but this is not true of religious teaching.
I have always admired the sound philosophy as
well as keen wit of the Irishman, whose success-
ful controversy with his priest on this subject
runs as follows : ' But,' said the priest, ' the
Bible is for the priests, and not for the likes

MIKE AND THE PRIEST.

209

if I

o* you.' ' O, but, sir ! ' lie answered, ' I was read-
ing in my Bible, You shall read it to your
chil'ren.' 'But, Michael,' says the priest, ' you
can't understand the Bible. It is not for you
to understand it, my man.' ' Ah, very well,
yer riverence, if I can't understand it it'll do
me no harm, and what I can understand does
me a heap o' good.' ' Very well, Mike, you
must go to the Church and the priests will teach
you. The Church will give you the milk of the
word.' ' And where, indade, does the Church
get it from but out of the Bible ? Ah, your
riverence, I'd rayther keep the cow meself.' "

After the subsidence of merriment which
followed the Professor's well-told story, I re-
marked : —

" Wherefore, then, this united and persistent
cry of the priests against the Bible in the family
and in the schools ? Why do they not keep
Bibles for sale, as they do other books in
abundance ? Why do they not suggest the use
of their own Bibles in the public schools if they
really object to ours, for no well-informed or
unprejudiced Protestant would object to their
introduction ? "

" Ah, sir," replied the Professor, " I am con-
vinced, as never before, that this is a crusade
against the system of OL\r CDmmon schools itself,

aad that it is the old cr^ of the slave-mastei'
U

210

SPIItlTUAL STRUGGLES.

i ii :

against the education of the slave. It is even
like the instinct of the boast of prey wliich
courts the darkness in which to commit its
depredations. There are men who love dark-
ness more than light because their deeds are
evil, It is even doubtful whether the Pope can
much lonoer remain in Rome amid the kindlino;
light of the Bible. The one or the other will
probably have to leave. But I tliink they might
as well ask us to exclude sun-light and fresh air
as the Bible from our schools. I admit, how-
ever, that the Bible is a dangerous book ! It is
dangerous to false doctrines and their teachers ;
dangerous to superstition, bigotry, and to civil
and religious despotism ; because it inspires
freedom of thought and of investigation, and a
sincere respect for conscience and the rights of
man, and thus becomes the palladium of our
liberties."

" I am sure," I added, " that it is not only an
alarm-bei. to awaken the careless, but also a
lever to ra,ise them up, and nerve-force to set
them in motion. It supplies the chief stimulus
and motive in every department of thought and
action. 'We account the Sciptures of God,'
wrote Sir Isaac Newton, * to be the most
sublime philosophy.' And yet how true is the
remark of an American divine : * The truths of
the Bible are like gold in the soil. Whole

THE REFORMERS.

211

^fenerations walk over it, and know not what
treasures are hidden beneath. So centuries of
men pass over the Scriptures, and know not
what riches lie under the i'eet of their inter-
pretations. Sometimes, when they discover
them, they call them new truths. One might
as well call gold newly dug new gold.' "

" It was just in this light, I am sure,' said Mon-
sieur Grenier, " that the Roman Catholic Church
regarded the utterances of the Reformers. They
were only old, precious, but forgotten truths,
long hidden in the rubbish of superstition. So
T think that the Protestantism of to-day is only
the re-assertion of old, apostolical truths against
the innovations and errors of media3val times, as
the study of the Bible clearly shows. Here is
an illustration of my meaning : A neglected
urchin, with dirty hands and face, and hair
uncombed, came into our school-room one day.
He was taken to the wash-room and compelled to
make a thorough toilet. When a mirror was
placed before him he started back in surprise,
and exclaimed, * Why, I've forgotten who this
is ! ' So, when the Reformers had done their
work upon the inner life and outward appear-
ance of the Church, the Romish hierarchy cried
out, * We don't know her ! ' But," abruptly
turning to me, he continued, " Do tell us how
you ever came to study the Bible, notwith-

fSf^

'■

?. ■:;■

)'? - ■■■

!■!' ',■ ' ■ '

• ll'i^ 1 i

:;-f U

foi '

212

8PIBITUAL STRUGGLES.

standing the teachings of your parents and the
priests."

" These were some of my reasons. 1 had
reached an age when I began to feel ashamed of
my ignorance of what then seemed to me to be
the Book of books, and^ the end of all con-
troversy. It did not satisfy me to tell a man,
* I believe so and so, because the priests tell me
so.' I wanted to be able to say, ' Thus saith the
Lord, the great Teacher.' I felt this the more
keenly, perhaps, because in all my debates with
Joseph Cook, he invariably overpowered me by
his thorough knowledge of the Bible. One day
while bleeding from the thrust of his two-
edged sword, I thus soliloquized : 'Young
man, I will fight you with your own weapons ! '
I further reasoned in this way : ' If the doc-
trines of my Church are taught here ' — and I
did not then doubt that they were — * the more
I stud}'' them, the better prepared I shall be to
defend them, and to make terrible sorties
on the lines of the enem3\' Impelled by such
convictions I made the purchase of this little
Bible, upon the blank page of which you can
read this inscription : ' Keeseville, N. Y., No-
vember 13, 1852.' This book, as you can see
by examination, was thoroughly studied, and
it was productive of influences which I hope,
on some future occasion, to be able to explain."

XIII.

"Blind Peter "—Alarmed — Bible Readinc; — Celi-
bacy — PRoniETS, Apostles, etc., Married Mex—

Apocalypse — My Mother in Tears-
THE Trees.

Preaching to

To the law and to the testimony : if tliey speak not auoordinjj to tlii.s
word, it is because tliere is no lijflit in them.— [miah.

iOTH the Professor and Monsieur Grenier
I were absent from our meeting tliis time,

(^ ^1 as were also Johnnie and Mary, wlio had
>'»^^5- country

gone to vi.sit their grandfather in the

But their place was at h^ast
partially filled by a popular individual well
known as " Blind Peter," who, in consequence of
his total blindness and sincere piety, is a great
favourite in the family. As his parents and
Nora's happened to be from the same parish in
Ireland, and were fast friends, who often spoke
to their children of each other, they seemed
even on their first meeting to be old acquaint-
ances. Peter lost no time in further intiuencing
Nora favourably toward himself by presenting
her a beautiful little book which bears his name,

\ I

214

SPIBITUAL STBVGGLEa.

and recounts, in a simple, yet forcible style, the
eventful story of his life. Though never a very
firm Roman Catholic even in his Emerald Isle,
and still less so after his immigration here, he
yet, like thousands of others, remained a nomi-
nal member of that Church until about twenty-
eight years of age, when he was converted and
became a sincere Protestant Christian. The sale
of his book is now his chief means of support,
and our children delight to lead him around
among the people, who generously patronize ^um.
Having been here two or three days, and hearing
much said about our Sunday afternoon inter-
views, he became deeply interested, and was
pleased to become a participant in our dis-
cussions. He was a true namesake of the great
apostle, at least in his readiness to talk ; and as
soon as he had been led to a chair, and all were
quietly seated, he said : —

" I'm right sorry that I have not heard your
conversations from the first. But I hope to get
the substance of them, at any rattj, in a book
some time. And now I shall rejoice to hear you
speak, as you intimated yesterday that you
expected to do, on the influence of Bible reading
on your mind."

" I ought, perhaps, to tell you now," I replied,
'* that my only desire when I began to read the
Scriptures was to fortify myself in Romanism.

SWOBD OF THE SPIBIT.

215

The New Testament first received my attention.
There was much that I did not understand, and
this caused me to think that, perhaps, the priests
were right in attributing obscurity to the sacred
Book. But I found myself ahnost involuntarily
reasoning on this wise : ' If I ^vere to read a
treatise on mathematics, or philosophy, or even
history, how little would I understand from the
first perusal. But by mastering the elementary
principles and simpler rules, and g'raduisUy
advancing^, I miofht gain a tolerable knowledcje of
these subjects. So will I do with the Bible.' I
knew it contained mysteries, but I hoped to
learn what was knowable and practical. I soon
found it to be a wonderful key to unlock the
secrets of God's will, and of my inner life. 1
then saw what Paul metcut by saying : * The
word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper
than :«iiy two-edged sword, piercing even to the
divi'iing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the
joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the
thouo^hts and intents of the heart.' "

" But was this ' sword of the Spirit turned
for or against Romanism ? " asked Peter.

"At first it seemed to cut in every direction ;
for while there were passages that appeared to
favour the Romish Church, I soon became
greatly alarmed, not so much at the teaching of
a single verse, but at the drift of entire para-

210

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

]

graphs against it. For instance, every Roman
Catholic knows what prominence the priests give
to ' traditions ' in their general teachiia^-s. But
I found both Matthew and Mark, also Paul to
the Colossians, and to Titus, agreeing in saying,
that * in vain they do worship God, teaching for
doctrines the commandments of men. Thus
have ye made the commandments of God of
none effect by your tradition.' This was a cut-
ting blow of the Spirit's sword which I could
not parry.

" But my alarm greatly increased on reading
the following passage in one of Paul's letters to
Timothy: 'Now the Spirit speaketh expressly
that in the latter times some shall depart from
the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and
doctrines of devils ; speaking lies in hypocrisy,
having their conscience 'seared with a hot iron ;
forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain
from meats,' etc. ' Is it possible,' I queried, ' that
even the Christian Church, or any branch of it,
can thus depart from the faith, contrary to the
teaching of the priests, who assert that the
Roman Catholic Church, at least, can never go
astray? And, then, this departure is so great,
that instead of having recourse to the blessed
Holy Spirit, like the disobedient King Saul, they
' give heed to seducing spirits,' etc., that is, to
alleged apparitions of departed saints, and

ALARMED.

217

especially of the Virgin Mary. Furthermore,
those who have thus departed from the ' faith
which was once delivered unto the saints ' may
be known by two leading characteristics,
namely, they ' forbid to marry,' and * command
to abstain from meats,' These conclusions were
stinging to my pride and alarming to my con-
science. I found in the Douay Bible, that, by
means of a note, an effort is made to apply this
passage exclusively to certain small and almost
unknown sects of ancient heretics, most of
whom existed in the apostle's da}^ and held
to the above errors. But it must be remem-
bered that this falling away was to be ' in the
latter times ' —times remote from the days of
the Tvriter. And even if the passage applies to
the sects mentioned in the note, which is not at
all likely, it applies with equal force to all those
who teach the same pernicious errors.

" My fears that this description was directly
applicable to the Roman Catholic Church were
greatly confirmed when I found in the same
epistles of Paul the very sentences which iden-
tify the priests with this departure from the
faith. I refer to the passages which relate to
their marriage, where it is said that even ' the
bishop should be the husband of one wife, the
father of children, one that ruleth well his own
house, having his children in subjection with all

218

SPIBITUAL 8TBUGQLEH.

y ■ r

i :

gravity.' Having read thus far, I endeavourd
to believe that the bishop's ' wife ' here meant
the Church, which is sometimes called the
spouse of Christ, and that his * children ' were
the members of the Church. But further read-
ing dissipated my fair conjecture, and left me
in the midst of perplexity and alarm. ' For,' I
read, ' if a man know xiot how to lule his own
house, how shall he take care of the Church of
God ? ' I clearly saw that * his own house ' and
* the Church of God ' were two distinct realms,
which ought to resemble each other, it is true;
so closely, in fact, that the well-regulated family
should be the perfect type of the Church, and
this of heaven. Then my mind went back to
the class of men whom God had generally
chosen to ale his people. So far as I could
learn, they were almost invariably married men.
Such was the case with the patriarchs, the pro-
phets, and the priests of Old Testament times.
The apostles of our Lord were married men, as
the above passage plainly intimates. We are
not left, however, to mere intimations. We
know that Peter, who is taken as the pattern
and supposed tirst pope of the Roman Catholic
Church, was a married man, whose wife's
mother Jesus cured of a fever."

" Roman Catholic priests teach that Peter and

CELIBACY.

219

the other apostles forsook their wives and fami-
lies to follow Christ," said Peter.

" But history denies any such assertion. The
apostles undoubtedly left their families tem-
porarily — never otherwise — when they went
out upon their extensive missionary tours, as
Christ intimates in his conversation with Peter
on this subject. They were all undoubtedly
willing to leave their families forever if neces-
sary. But Paul, who is the only bachelor
epostle we know of — unless Barnabas be an-
other — clearly shows that it was his right, as an
apostle, to be married if he chose ; that mar-
riage is honourable in all classes ; and that it was
a voluntary surrender of his privilege which
kept him single. He also declares that his con-
dition was an exception to apostolic usage.
Hear what he says : ' Have we not power ' (re-
ferring to himself and Barnabas) ' to lead about
a sister, a wife, as other apostles, and as the
brethren of the Lord, and Cephas V Rev. Dr.
Challoner changes Protestants with havino- wil-
fully perverted this text. He says the word
wife should be translated woman — that is, a
Christian woman, a sister in Christ. Now, I
acknowledge that the original word signifies
woman. It is a word, however, which the
Greek classic authors, whom Paul often quotes,
use for wife. And if it does not mean wife

f20

SFIBITUAL STRVOQLES.

here, what purpose could the word serve in
the passage after the word sister has been intro-
duced ? It would only be a ridiculous taut-
ology. Then Dr. Challoner would certainly not
insist upon his rendering if he carefully re-
flected upon the liability of such conduct to be
misconstrued — conduct that would have pro-
duced end. ess scandal even among the holy
apostles — which he would make out Paul was
trying to vindicate, namely, that of leading
about a woman not his wife !"

" Ah ! " exclaimed Peter, " these priests are
such paragons of virtue, so far removed from
the least suspicion of impure thoughts even,
that they could not conceive of aqy impro-
priety, not to say scandal, in unmarried people
going about in this style ! But to drop this
irony, don't you see how they endeavour by
this interpretation both to hide the truth of the
apostle's meaning, and to cover up their own
conduct with the nuns ? "

" Do you really believe, Peter," asked Nora
excitedly, "that there is ever any improper inti-
macy between the priests and the ' sisters ? ' 1
have often had my suspicions, as I know many
Roman Catholics do, but I have never dared ex-
press them fully."

"How can it bo otherwise T' Peter replied.

APOCAL 7PSE.

12]

" Toil must judge ot human nature there as you
do elsewhere."

" Now," I remarked, " I want to say to you
that those Scriptures which bear upon the
social and domestic life of the early ministers
of Christ not only made me feel that the Romish
Church had widely departed from the faith, but
to fear that the corruption was festering at its
very fouutain-head — even among its teachers.
And ' like priests like people,' was a motto I
often thouii'ht of. These thiuors made me rest-
less and unhappy. However, my fear did not
culminate in a panic until I reached the seven-
teenth and eighteenth chapters of Revelation.
I cannot now describe to you the convictions
that came rushing upon me as I read those pa -
sages. From indications that lie on the very
face of them, and pervade them throughout,
came the unavoidable conclusion that the great
city spoken of is Rome ; that the w^omau decked
with royal purple and scarlet, with the golden
chalice in her hand, who was to exert such
universal power over the kingdoms of the
earth, and who made merchandise of the souls
of men, is no other than the Roman Catholic
Church. I read the passages carefully, and
trembled. I re-read them and then wept. I
cannot portray the sadness and terror of that
moment. Up to this time I had entertained

Bj. ■•)

V.h i|

222

SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES.

hopes that something might yet be able to dis-
sipate my apprehension with regard to errors
in the Church. I still continued to attend
her services, determined to clincf to her to the
lasf. ; but my study of these chapters seemed
to have quite severed the knot which bound me
to her, though there still lingered a hope that
I might be mistaken.

■' But from this time there sprang up in my
heart a peculiar attachment to the little Bible
which was making such disclosures to me. 1
felt like saying, ' If I am wrong, let me know
it.' At this time I carried my Bible every-
where with me, and spent all my leisure mo-
ments in reading it. Some Sabbaths I read
nearly all day long, scarcely taking time to
eat my meals. In this inquiring and undecided
state 1 continued during the fall and winter
of 1852-53. The following spring I visited my
friends at Ticonderoga, and, in my sanguine and
ingenuous manner, I made frequent mention of
the things which had recently so fully possess-
ed my thoughts. Too great frankness in speak-
ing my mind is, probably, one of my faults.
My mother, especially, was thrown into a
state of excitement and alarm over me. One
day I was reading my Bible to myself, alone
with my mother, in her room. She was busy
sewing ; but I saw that a great care was upon

M7 MO THEE IN TEARS.

223

her. At lennrth she raised her eves from her
work, and, with a pathos I can ncer forget,
she s&id, ' 0, Louis ! sers cette Bible; die va te
rviiner / ' * O, Louis ! put away that Bible ; it
will ruin you ! ' Then slie began to exliort
me and to plead, until the big tears ran down
her face in streams. This was one of the
most fearful moral conflicts of my life. 1 loved
my mother as ardently as a child can love. J
also loved my Bible. I knew not what to do.
Filial affection seemed likely to overpower
moral obligation. There were moments when it
appeared as if she might be right, and I wrong.
I assured her, however, that 1 was actuated by
the purest of motives.

" After a while I slipped the Bible into my
pocket, left the house, and repaired to a
beautiful wood -crowned hill which overlooks
a portion of Lake George, where, alone with
God, I studied the inspired word. By and by,
impelled by an influence which I could not in-
terpret, I was led to select a verse, generally
from Proverbs or the Epistle of James, which
were at that time favourite books, the one
for its diversified wisdom, the other for its prac-
tical piety, and from this text I would preach
to the woods. And, truly, I never preached
to more attentive audiences ! The tall, well-
proportioned, livinor trees T called saints; the

Ill

224

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

distorted and decayed trees I called sinners;
and thus I endeavoured to preach the Gospel
both to good and bad. These were golden op-
portunities to my own heart and mind. Though
days of conflict, they were also days of con-
quest."

Here ended our discussion, which was fol-
lowed by an earnest prayer by Peter, who be-
sought the Lord for light to shine espe-
cially upon those who are forsaking error and
seeking the truth as revealed in the Gospel of
Jesus.

! ,i

I -i

XIV.

Transition — Nora Saved — Graven Images — The
Virgin Mary — Testimony op Jesus — Purgatory —
Indulgences — Prayers for the Dead — Money —
Heartles.sness.

Prove all things ; hold fast that which is goofl. — Paul,

,^^-^^HE daj' of our gathering, filled with co-
(Itl^ incidences which revealed the working
Ji)^.,;^ of God's own hand among us, had been
"■^f^'^ peculiarly interostinj;. At our morninc:
>4-^'?,f services quite a number of persons, in-
cluding several Sunday-school scholars, had
come forward to unite with the Church on their
personal profession of faith in our Lord Jesus
Christ. Not least in the joy of our hearts came
Professor \V. and Nora ! After the adminis-
tration of baptism to those who had not been
thus consecrated to God in their infancy, the
whole Church, in her augmented and joyful
strength, joined in partaking of the holy com-
munion, as was our custom to do on the first
Sabbath of each month. The sermon of the

22G

SPIRITUAL 8TBVG0LES.

occasion was preached by Rev. Damas Breaux,
also a convert from Romanism. It was a mem-
orable hour, making us feel as if we had fallen
upon apostolic days.

When the time of our afternoon seance
arrived — and all who had ever been with us
were present — Monsieur Grenier gladly informed
us that in the inornino- he had consummated his
alliance with a branch of the Protestant Church,
thoujih not the same to which we here belonged.
But he felt, as had been maintained throughout
our discussions, that Protestantism is a unit on
the fundamental teachings of Revelation. This
information was received with great joy by us
all, and it prepared the way for the Professor to
remark, that two things developed in our talks
here had led him to resolve upon the decisive
step he had taken this morning. First, the
eagerness with which he saw that Romanists like
Monsieur Grenier and Nora, becoming enlight-

ened in the

teachings of the

Bible, seek to

identify themselves in experience and practice,
notwithstanding tlic obstacles before them, with
evangelical Churches. This made him feel
ashamed of his want of interest, and convinced
him of the Divine reality of experimental
religion. Secondly, he was made to feel, as
never before, that the great and tinal conflict
between evangelical truth and man-devjsod ervov

HAPPY NOMA.

227

was to be fought out on this continent and in
this country. But he added with emphasis —

" The weapons of our warfare must not be
carnal — for I am fully in accord with my Quaker
ancestors on this subject — but mighty through
God to the pulling down of strongholds. It is
a spiritual conflict, and spiritual weapons must
be used. It is not that we wish to spill blood,
but we desire to dissipate ignorance, prejudice,
hardness of heart, until all over these lands and
the world there shall be but one Shepherd and
one fold. I, therefore, believe that the first
duty every American owes to his country and to
mankind is to ' seek the kingdom of God and
his righteousness ; ' that is, as I understand it,
to harmonize his inner and outward life with
the remedial scheme of the Gospel, and to this
end he should identify himself with some branch
of the evangelical Church. This have I done
to-day — one of the brightest and best days of
my life."

As he uttered these words, Nora's eyes spar-
kled with a joy which she seemed utterly unable
to restrain, and she exclaimed : —

" O ! I wish I could express myself as some of
the rest of you do. Yet I can sing,

' 'Tis mercy all, innnensc aiid IVt'i;,
Kor, luy God, it louud out uie!

1^1

nit

228

81 IBITUAL STBUGGLES.

To be saved from all our sins ; how great is the
blessing ! And then to know that we are saved
now, by the blessed and positive witness of the
Holy Spirit as I feel it in my heart to-day !
This is heaven below. Don't think me beside
myself, for, like St. Paul, I am only ' speaking
forth words of soberness and truth.' However,
there is still a bitter ingredient in my cup — not
that I had to sacrifice too much to attain to this,
for one moment's heavenly bliss, such as I know,
more than compensates me for the loss of all
things besides ; but my friends, including my
dear mother, are still in the gall of bitterness,
and in the bond of iniquity."

Here, choking with sobs, she could proceed
no further, and I requested the Professor to lead
us in prayer. Complying, he thanked God for
what his grace and providence had done for us ;
praised him for the tokens of his presence among
us to melt our hearts in tenderness toward the
unsaved, and closed with an earnest plea, which
elicited several hearty amens, that our dear
friends might soon be partakers of like precious
faith with us, and that this land might ere long
become as the garden of the Lord. At the close
of this delightful exercise, there being a general
desire that T should return to my personal narra-
tive, I resumed : —

" After becoming convinced of many errors in

GRAVEN IMAGES.

229

the Church, I began to read the Bible, as it
seems to me it ought always to be read if great
good is desired, not to establish some preconceived
theory or dogma, but simply to learn the mind
of the Spirit who inspired it, or the scope of
truth in the mind of the sacred writer.
Influenced by such an endeavor I began to
search and study. The doctrine of images in
the churches was one of the first that presented
itself for review. I had been taught that we
may honour the images of the saints as well as
their relics. In her offices for the dying, the
Church directs that a crucifix be often looked
upon and kissed, and that an image of the
Virgin Mary be placed before the eyes, that
recourse may be had to her. In all the French
Catechisms I have over seen, the second com-
mandment, namely, * Thou shalt not make unto
thee an}' graven image. . . . Thou shalt not bow
down thyself to them nor serve them,' etc., is
entirely omitted."

"But that must leave only nine command-
ments," quickly remarked Johnnie.

" The Church has ingeniously divided the
tenth commandment into two parts, thus pre-
serving the original number, but making two
which are alike in spirit."

" Such mutilation and rending of holy writ,"
exclaimed Aunt Melie, " is dreadful to think of,

ir\ if

230

8PIBITUAL 8TBVGGLE8.

and must bring upon the Church which dares
attempt it the swift judgments of God ! "

" Think of my own indignation toward a
Church that could purposely be guilty of such
gross perversion of truth, when I found the
direct command of God against this practice.
This mandate is still further explained and
enforced by several sacred writers both in the
Old and New Testaments. It is not enough
that most Romish authors, including Dr.
Challoner, who covers nearly seven pages of his
book in defence of this devotion, should say
that they do not worship the image ; this is
only pettifogging."

" Even admitting, for the sake of the argu-
ment," said the Profes3or, "that this plea be
true, it is saying no more than heathens
generally claim for themselves. Most of them
assert that they do not worship the manikin,
but the deity it represents. So the Ephesians
whom Paul encountered on this question of
idolatry were worshippers of the great goddess
Diana, whose image was supposed to have
fallen down from Jupiter. It was the goddess,
not the image, which was the object of their
homage. The same was true of the Athenians,
whose altar or shrine was inscribed 'To the
Unknown God.' "

" Your remarks are pertinent, Professor, or

THE VIRGIN MABY.

231

rather, brother in Christ, as I ought to call you
now. I cannot see how the Romish Church can
be exonerated from the charge of idolatry. Dr.
Chal loner endeavours to wriggle out of this
dilemma by saying that 'those whom the
Roman Catholics honour with an inferior venera-
tion for Gods sake,' those before whose images
they offer prayers, ' are, indeed, the ministers
and servants of the one true God, while the
inferior deities of the heathens were wicked
wretches, such as Mars, Bacchus, Hercules, etc' "

" Now I aver," again said the l*rofessor, "that
the only logical deduction that can be drawn
from the doctor's own promise is, that Romanism
and heathenism are two great idolatries, and
that they differ only in degree ; Romanism
being more elevated and refined in proportion
as its inferior deities are more pure than those
of heathenism. This is not the first time this
criticism has occurred to me, ..nd though it may
seem severe, I am sure it cannot be successfully
obviated."

" My study of the images of the saints and
their relation to pure worship soon led me to its
cognate branch — namely, the prayers to the
Virgin Mary, and to uhe multitude of the saints.
The Romish Church puts in the plea hfre
that she does not worship these saints, but
simply requests their prayers, as we do each

.1-

i' ■

I I

-.'it;

232

8PIBITUAL STIWGOLES.

other's prayers on earth. To this point I
directed my examination. In the litanies to
the Virgin, as found in the prayer-book,
entitled * Way to Heaven,' * pages CO itnd
574, she is called ' Seat of Wisdom, Cause of
our Joy, Ark of the Covenant, Gate of Heaven,
Morning Star, Refuge of Sinners, Seat of the
Most Holy Trinity, Image of the Wisdom of
God, Dispenser of Graces, Model of all Perfection,
Source of Divine Love,' etc. In the same book,
page 388, the third of six fundamental rules
laid down for the guidance of the Arch-confra-
ternity of the Holy and Immaculate Heart of
Mary, reads as follows : ' No intercession is so
effectual as that of the blessed mother of God ;
let us, therefore, seek it.' On page 77 we find
this prayer : ' my Lady, holy Mary, to thy
blessed keeping, and to the bosom of thy tender
compassion, I commend my soul and body this
day, every day, and at the hour of my depar-
ture ; all my hopes, my consolation, my anxieties
and miseries, my life and the end of my life, I
commit to thy keeping,' etc. On page 389 is
this : * Come, my soul, prostrate thyself at
the feet of Mary thy Mother, and depart not
till she hath blessed thee.' On the next page a
family is offered to Mary in these terms : ' Most

* Approved by f John, Archbishop of New York.

THm VIRGIN MARY.

233

blessed Virgin, our immaculate Queen and
Mother, refuge and consolation of the distressed,
prostrate before thy throne, with all my family,
I choose thee as my patroness, my mother, and
my advocate with God. I consecrate myself
forever, with all that belongs to me, to thy
service.' Many similar passages might be quoted
from the same book, to show that, in the matter
of consecrating ourselves and families to her,
Mary is put in the place of God the Father.
She is also represented as God, sitting on a
throne. In the titles which are given her, and
the intercession attributed to her, she is put in
the place of Christ the Son. The artists of the
Church also represent the woman instead of her
seed, as bruising the serpent's head. On page
415, in an article entitled ' Di/ine Praises,' ar-
ranged for choral responses, th 3 Virgin occupies
the place of the Holy Ghost. The article runs
fls follows, and one year's indulgence is granted
for every '•ecital : —

"' Blessed be God.'

"* Blessed be his holy name.'

" * Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true
man.*

" * Blessed be the name of Jesus.'

" • Blessed be Jesus in the most holy Sacrament
of the altar.'

234

^PimWAL ^TliVOGLES.

n :l

I'! '■!'.

[V.

■-i M

"'Blessed be the ^reat Mother of God, the

most holy Mary.'

" * Blessed be the name of Mary, Virgin and
Mother.'

" ' Blessed be God in his angels and in his
saints.' "

" This is not only idolatry," cried Aunt Melie,
" but the grossest blasphemy. It falls not short
of what I deem to be the sin against the Holy
Ghost. P- makes me tremble with horror to
hear it!"

" We need no more proof," added Monsieur G.,
"to fix upon Romanists the charge of worship-
ping the Virgin Mary."

" And yet," I conti' 1, " lest some one should
say that this represei^i/ttoion is not complete, let
me turn to page G22 of the book just quoted for
the final proof upon this subject. Here is a
prayer with this significant heading : ' To the
Worshippers of the Most Blessed Virgin, Mother
of God.' At the close of the prayer, in which
there is lano-uasje more trustful and adoring
than in anything yet quoted, we find these
sentences in italics : ' So says the sweet St.
Bernard. Worship, then, the Mother of God in
thy life, and thou shalt feel that thou hast
worshipped one who is truly a Mother, in death
and in all eternity. For to be worshipped and
regarded as a Mother is assuredly her delight.

TESTIMONY OF JESUS.

235

For that she might be the Mother and Mediatrcss
of sinners it was that she became the Mother of
God.'

" Imagine now, if you can, what were ray
feelings, after having been taught such doctrines
as these, to find directly opposite teachings in
the word of God. When the Ma«xi found the
Nazarenc family in the Bethlehem manger, they
worshipped the child only. So did the shep-
herds. When the child was lost at Jerusalem
at the close of the passover feast, Mary knew
no more where he was than any other mother
would have known of her child. After he
entered his public ministry, all that Jesus ever
said about his mother, though couched in dutiful
and respectful language, was evidently intended
to check every tendency toward worshipping
her. For instance, when a certain woman of
the company that followed him lifted up her
voice and said unto him : * Blessed is the womb
that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast
sucked ' — that is, blessed is tby mother — he said,
* Yea, rather blessed are they that hear the word
of God, and keep it.' Christ . .i to be known, not
after the flesh, but by faith and love.

" When the disciples besought Christ to teach
them to pray, he said, * When ye pray, say. Our
Father who art in heaven,' etc., and he never
taught them any other prayer. How could he

23C

SPIRITUAL STIiUGGLEii.

make an omission so grave if Romanism be cor-
rect ? Just before his departure he said to
them: 'Whatsoever' — and this covered all
their possible needs for the present and for all
time to come — 'whatsoever ye shall ask the
Father in my name, he will give it you.' All
recorded prayers of the apostles were addressed
to the Deity. When, on the Isle of Patmos, St.
John would have worshipped the angel who
made revelations to him, he was forbidden :
' See thou do it not ; worship God.' How this
array of Scripture facts, taught in the Douay
Bible as well as in all others, could be reconciled
with the teachings of the Church, was more
than I could comprehend. I found here a point-
blank contradiction which no sophistry could
remove nor obscure."

" But Roman Catholic priests plead," remarked
Nora, " that as our mothers are generally more
tender toward us than our fathers, so the Virgin
Mother is more readily touched with the feeling
of our infirmities than is the Father."*

" O ! I know how strongly this manner of put-
ting the subject appeals to our capricious and
youthful sympathies. There is wonderful power
in woman's tenderness, especially a mother's. I
have seen vast multitudes melted into tears by

* See the prayer-books.

RIDICULOUS SOPHISTRIES.

237

be cor-
said to
;red all
1 for all
ask the
.u.' All
Idressed
mos, St.
^cl who
bidden :
[qw this

Douay
conciled
IS more
a point-
er could

marked

y more

i Virgin

feeling

of put-
ous and
1 power
er's. I
ears by

the adroit and earnest priest who desired to
lead the people to the shrines of the Virgin, es-
pecially in her ' Novenas,' or nine days' devo-
tions. But to the thoughtful student of the
Bible such reasoning is sophistical and silly.
It presupposes that Mary is omnipresent and
omniscient ; for she must be everywhere, in
order to hear the prayers of the scattered multi-
tudes that simultaneously call upon her ; and
she must know all things, to be able to read the
thoughts of their hearts. But if she has these
attributes, she is equal with God. All this is
unscriptural and false. It further presumes
that one, at least, of God's creatures is more per-
fect in compassion, and more full of mercy,
than the Creator himself, which is ludicrous as
well as sacrilegious. But keep in mind, Nora,
that God loves to be inrjuired of for all the
things we need, and that he yearns over all his
children with a compassion more tender and
constant than ever gushed even from a loving
mother's heart. He who gave mothers their
tenderness must be more tender than they.

" ' Every human tie may perish ;

Friend to friend unfaithful prove ;

Mothers cease their own to cherish ;

Heaven and earth at last remove ;

But no changes
Can attend Jehovah's love.' "

238

SPIRITUAL STIiUaOLES.

" Jndeecl, sir, I know it now, but I have not
always known it. It sijarcely seems that I am
the same person 1 wa.' .>nce. I seem to be in a
new world. How (juickly and beautifully my
heart now interprets what was difficult before.
Truly, I am a new creature : * Old things have
passed away ; behold, all things are become
new 1 ' But [ fear that by my ecstatic out-
bursts 1 am interrupting your narrative."

" ' Variety is the spice of life,' Nora," re-
sponded Luella, " and I'm sure we all enjoy this
kind of spicing. So don't borrow any trouble
about it. When God's love burns in our hearts,
it is often difficult to kem from speaking or
singing. And yet, perhaps we would all be glad
to hear from father now if you are through."

" Through ! If T had a thousand tongues I
would want them all to sing my great Re-
deemer's praise, and even then it seems as if all
eternity would be too short to tell the story of
Jesus and his love. As we often sing,

"' Moi(! wonderful it seems
Than all the golden fancies
Of all our golden dreams. '

" But, really," she continued, turning to me,

' please excuse me for delaying you so much."

"God bless your soul, Nora!" exclaimetl

PURGATORY.

239

Blind Peter. " As the gardens of myrrh and
sweet spices are stirred by the soft zephyrs of
heaven, so your inspired words move my heart
until it sighs more solenmly than the harp of
Erin, and then sings as sweetly as the harp of
Judah's royal bard." •

On the utterance of this poetic and religious
sentiment it seemed as if a Divine joy rested on
every one, and we almost involuntarily broke
forth in singing our grand doxology : —

•* I'mise God, from whom .all blessings How ;
Praise him, all creatures here below;
Praise him above, ye heavenly host ;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

When the singing ceased, I said : —
" In advancing toward the Divine or truly
Christian life, 1 went more slowly than most of
you seem to have done. I clung to old things
with an almost dogged pertinacity, while my
great caution suffered me to accept nothing new
without the severest tests. When one doctrine
was fairly wrenched from me by the force of
truth, another would come up for examination.
Prayers before images and saints having been
disposed of, the doctrine of Purgatory presented
itself for analysis. Catholic authorities give
this definition of the doctrine : * A middle state
of souls who depart this life in Uod's grace, yet

240

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

;!'?«

'"I

not without some lesser stains of guilt or
punishment, which retard them from entering
heaven.' Then it is claimed, that * such as de-
part this life before they have repented of
these venial frailties and imperfections, cannot
be supposed to be condemned to the eternal tor-
ments of hell, nor can they go straight to
heaven in this state, because the Scripture as-
sures us, ' There shall not enter into it any-
thing defiled.' * Then an attempt is made at
proof from Scripture, tradition, and reason. So
I went to work examining the doctrine by this
triple light. To my astonishment, I found that
the Bible makes no such distinction as this doc-
trine implies between what are called mortal
and venial sins. ' Sin,' says the Word, ' is the
transgression of the law,' and * he who offends
in one point is guilty of all ; ' that is, every sin
is a violation of God's law, and merits the
punishment which the law, as a whole, inflicts.
Again, the Scriptures recognize but two general
classes of men, namely, saints and sinners,
wheat and tares, sheep and goats ; those who arc
for Christ, and those who are against him. No
njiddle class is ever as much as intimated in
them.

" Then the Bible presents but one element for

^',i

Grounds," etc., p. 46.

PURGATORY.

241

the purging or purifying of sin and uncleanness
— the blood of Jesus Christ. Nowhere could 1
find that fire, unless it be used emblematically
of the Holy Spirit, can cleanse moral stains ;
much less can general sufiering do this. Suffer-
ing may mature graces, but cannot produce
them. Sufifering people are not necessarily, nor
even generally, the purest people. The angel
said to John, ' These are they which came out
of great tribulation ; ' but he does not attribute
their salvation to their sufferings, as the closing
words do show : ' and have washed their robes,
and made them white in the blood of the
Lamb.' None in that vast throng are heard
praising the fiames of purgatory or the indul-
gences of the Church, but all ascribe glory to
the Lamb. Furthermore, the Bible taught me
that in this life only can sins be loosed or
forgiven. ' Behold, now is the accepted time ;
behold, now is the day of salvation.' After
death the order is, * He that is filthy, or de-
filed, let him Uj filthy still.' These are all
fundamental principles which cannot be gain-
sayed, and they ail and severally proved to me
that the doctrine of purgatory is a figment.
This doctrine, like many otliers in Romanism, is
plainly traceable to Plato, Virgil, and many
other ancient heathen authors, from whom the
Church borrowed it.

242

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

8^ A ']

\ i

"Intimately connected with this doctrine is
that of indulgences ; which, as latterly inter-
preted by the Church, * is not a leave to commit
sin, nor a pardon for sins to come, but only a
releasing of the debt of temporal punishment
which may remain due on account of our sins,
after the sins themselves, as to the guilt and eter-
nal punishment, have been already remitted by
contrition, confession, and absolution.' Such a
doctrine, as applied to individual — not to na-
tional — transgression, I, of course, nowhere
found in the Bible. And it is so vaguely ex-
pressed, even by the best writers of the Church,
that but few are able to understand it. But
they are made to feel that there is something
wrong with them for which they can make
atonement for themselves and for others, by
repeating more prayers and performing more
good works than are required in the Scriptures."

" This is curious," remarked Luella, " that
any person can do even more than God requires,
when he commands us to love and serve him
with all our heart and mind and strength. I
remember reading — yes, it was in our Sunday-
school lesson this afternoon — that Jesus said to
his discipies, ' When ye shall have done all these
things which are commanded you, say. We are
unprofitable servants : we have done that which
was our duty to do.* "

INDULGENCES.

243

" This very passage made me see the folly of
this doctrine. However, the Church so arranges
her lists of indulgences, as you can see in * Way
to Heaven,' page 13, that a devoted Roman
Catholic can gain a large number of plenary
indu licences each year, to apply to the future
advaiit ge of himself or others. A plenary
indulgence is one that remits the full punish-
ment due to sin, and hence delivers the reci-
pient fully and forever from the flames of
purgatory. But as the Bible taught me to look
to the Lamb of God alone for salvation, I
saw that this doctrine was only a degenerate
offspring of the vagary of purgatory. So much,
then, did I get from the argument from Scrip-
ture."

" The argument from Tradition," added Mon-
sieur )renier, " certainly fixes this innovation to
I period som oenturies after the time of the
apostles, who were wholly innoctmt, as it ap[ tears,
of any such teaching. And no wonder the
Church resorted to it when one considers the
revenues it brings into her coff<Ts. This of
itself shows where the doctrine originated.
Here is her costly merchandise of souls.*
About one ddlar im tke kftst amoimt usually
paid for a low mass for the dead. A high

* Apoc, xviii. 12, 13.

244

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

;j^i

mass is much more expensive, and varies with
the ability of the payer and the dignity of the
officiating clergyman. The profligate Philip IV.,
King of France, left money for ten thousand
masses to be chanted for the repose of his soul."

" I see now," said Johnnie, " why this is called
the ' religion of money.' But it is a new idea
that men may buy with money a seat in heaven.
That being the order, I don't see much chance for
the poor ; and yet nearly all the Roman Catho-
lics that I know are poor."

" Many are made so in this way," I replied.
" Poor as w^ah my widowed mother, she paid for
masses for the repose of my father's soul long
after his death, and continued to pray for the
same object at least ten years later. There
is scarcely a widow, however poor, that would
not go to the expense of at least one mass.
Home would .s«^ll their own bedding and bread
for this purp«»se, before they would leave their
friends unassisted in purgatory. Many people
agree by solemn covenant that the survivors
shall pay for a stipulated number of masses, and
pray ho many years for those who first go down
to the purgatorial abode. I believe that such
an agreement existed Ijetween my father and
mother."

" Those priests who are at the bottom and the
top of all that," exclaimed Aunt Melie, " are per-

HEARTLESSNESS.

245

fectly described by the great Teacher when ho
said, * Woe unto you ! for ye devour widows'
houses, and for a pretence make long prayers.' I
can find no language to express my indignation !
They are blind guides, leading the blind into the
ditch."

" But I am not quite through with my work.
I must give you my argument from Reason.
This taught me that if purgatory had been
established by the Lord, he would have regulated
its internal affairs himself ; but now the priests
dictate the terms upon which men may escape
its tortures, and this shows whose establishment
it is. Reason further taught me that, if account
were made of the vast number of masses for
the dead, and the endless grant of indulgences,
supposing there were any truth in the doctrine,
purgatory must long ago have been completely
emptied of its souls, and made a void. And yet
the people continue to pray and pay, and the
priest continues to take the money and to say
the masses ! But the stamp of error, not to say of
deception, was put upon the dogma when Reason
presented it to me in this light : Suppose that I
saw one of my fellow-men drowning or in flames,
and, standing near, should cry to him, 'Pay me
money and I will help you, but otherwise I will
leave you to your fate,' what would you think
of me?"

iijpiJ

ill

246

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" Heartless ! Villainously criminal you surely
would be," responded Luella, with an energy
almost unnatural to her.

" What, then, could be my thoughts and feel-
ings toward a Church that legislates the vast
multitude of her members into purgatorial
flames, and leaves them there unless the dead
have left her money by bequest, or their friends
rally to their aid with open purse ?"

" And yet this is the Church," added the Pro-
fessor, " that says to the world, * I am the only
true Church of God ; apostolical in succession,
infallible in doctrine, holy in practice ! ' "

" If there be truth in her teaching and
power in her prayers," said Luella, " why don't
she try her skill first upon her living subjects,
and then, whether she succeeds or fails, if
she thinks best to pray for the dead, do so
every day without pay ? "

"She does condescend," I replied, "to say
masses for the dead gratuitously one day in
the year — on All-Souls' Day, the second of
November."

" Thanks ! thanks ! " cried several voices,
and Aunt Melie continued by saying : " This
is quite relieving. Crumbs are better than no
bread at all. There is some hope of a Church
that consents to pray for her needy children
one day in the year without special pay ! "

CUT LOOSE.

247

"Your sarcasm does not half express the
feelings that were in my heart when I saw this
subject in its true light. At this point of my
investigation I was completely cut loose from
Komanism ; for every faculty of my soul re-
jected these abhorrent teachings, and I could
not conscientiously affiliate with those who
taught or believed them."

With the close of this discussion the timo had
come to disperse.

c^.<^i^::iK.:3

' I

I'i

XV.

Danger and Rescue — Romanism and Infidelity —
Seeking the True Fold — Weeping, Reading,
Praying — "Wonderful Night — To be " Born
Again" — Drf^am in Verse.

Marvel not that I said unto tliee, Ye must be bom again.— Tfte Master.

j^|N meeting again to-day, where we found
our entire company except Blind Peter,
the Professor, anticipating the chaos in-
to which I must have plunged on losing
*^ all confidence in the Romish Church,
inquired how my mind was affected by the
change.

" Danger," I replied, " attends every change
in life, from the cradle to the grave. Even the
seasons as they succeed each other generally
occasion vast commotion in the elements and
fearful storms. This is especially true in men-
tal and moral transitions. * Changes and war
are against me,' exclaimed the old patriarch Job,
and even I was not exempt from similar expe-
rience. At first I yielded to a dull despair which

DANGER AND RESCUE.

240

tended to blank infidelity ! All the hope of
heaven I had ever entertained had been founded
upon Romanism. As the errors and follies of
the system passed before me, my hope dissolved
like frost-work on the window-panes in the sun-
beams until all was gone ! In consequence, I
found rnyself losing all confidence in men. From
childhood my best teachers, including my parents,
had deceived me, whether wilfully or ignorantly
made but little difference. Whom now could I
trust ? Would strangers be more true than
friends had been ? Dread distrust and black
misanthropy were creeping in upon me. In my
haste, like one of old, I said, * All men are liars,'
and * none really care for my soul.* Religion
began to appear to me an ugly, mocking mum-
mery ; a monstrous priestcraft, dwarfing the
intellects of men by repressing true education
and culture, by proclaiming a false philosophy
and corrupt ethics, and by making promises it
never could fulfil. It was to me a filthy harpy,
which soiled what it did not devour."

" This was the terrible yet natural rebound
from one extreme to the other," added the Pro-
fessor. " * The mind of communities,' says an
American author, ' touches both extremes before
it settles down at the intermediate point of truth.'
History shows that the enlightenment of Tvoman
Catholic peoples has always had infidelity for its

250

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

immediate fiuit. Witness France, with her
Volney and Voltaire, and her * Reign of Terror.*
Most of the educated classes in all papalized
countries to-day are evidently infidel at heart.
And yet those who have vibrated so far from
the ' central point of bliss,* as our author in-
timates, have often rested, at last, at the ' golden
mean' where they have found what neither
meaningless mummeries on the one hand, nor
blind infidelity on the other, could furnish."

" Indeed, God in his great mercy did not leave
me in my blindness and misery to perish. He
gave me burdens only .^s I could bear them, and
blessings only as I could appropriate and enjoy
them. When I began to mutter this dirge-like
song of doubt —

** * There is no good ; there is no God ;
And Faith is a heartless cheat,
Who bares the back for the Devil's rod,
And scatters thorns for the feet ' —

I advanced to the very verge of the yawning
abyss of skepticism, but was driven back by its
horrifying darkness and terror! My religious
nature would somehow cling to the belief in a
Supreme Being, the First Great Cause, the Father
of the race. * Then,' I reasoned, * if there be a
God, he must ii. some way have revealed his will
to his children, as in the Bible, for instance, and

SEEKING THE TRUE FOLD.

251

there must be some organization on earth which,
in the main at least, embodies and illustrates
this teaching Thus convinced, I was led to
attend the services of the difft^rent churches in
the village of Keeseville, and by this means to
the discovery that the various Protestant de-
nominations are essentially one, differing only,
perhaps, as the strings of a harp differ from each
other, and yet are all needed to give to music its
grandest power and harmony.

" One Sabbath I went to the Methodist
Church, and, to my surprise, I found the Baptist
preacher in the pulpit, by exchange. This pro-
duced a very salutary influence upon my mind.
And then the fact that these services supplied
the food for which my spirit hungered was an-
other evidence of truth in these Churches, such
as abstract reasoning could not well give me.

" On Sunday evening, November 6, 1853, after
attending several services, I returned to my
room with more than an ordinary degree of re-
ligious thoughtfulness. I sat down to write my
journal for the day. Fearing that, in case any
one should ever read these lines, he might be at
a loss to account for my instability as to the
place where I went for public worship, I under-
took to give my reasons in the following manner :
* When at home, I was brought up in the strictest
observance of Romanism. A few years' expe-

2o2

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLED.

rience in a Protestant land has wrought a great
change in me. I am now convinced that my
former faith and practice are fundamentally
unscriptural, at least in their spirit and appli-
cation to soul-savins: ; and I have come to the
conclusion that, ere 1 follow any religious leaders,
I must first ascertain whether I am led by the
blind, or by those who have eyes to see. This
prompts me to make careful investigation, and
to wander from church to church, until I find
the ' Good Shepherd's ' fold. O ! how I long to
be freed from this fearful mist of uncertainty,
and to find that rest which my soul has never
known ! Such wanderings as these torture me,
and here and now I pray for guidance and de-
liverance. I know I can do nothing of myself
toward coming to God, but may he help and
save me. My determination is so strong that,
if I find I must renounce my former faith for
another, though it bring upon me censure from
all my relatives, I shall pledge myself and bind
my heart. This, however, is a difficult question
to settle. I have a tender mother whom I love.
O ! how soon would she be brought with sorrow
to the grave if I should wander from the teach-
ings she has so laboriously imparted to me.
Apprehensive of this, she has already mourned
and wept. During my last visit to her she
pleaded with me with many earnest words and

jrEf:prs% uka ntxa, pra yixc. Sn:^

scalding^toars. (I weep while I reconl it.) How
could 1 treat lier so ill ? No! 1 will not. So
long as she lives I cannot publicly profess such
a change, whatever resolves 1 may carry in my
breast.'

" At this point in my record my tears were
blinding me, and falling fast upon the memor-
able page. I laid down my pen, not knowing
what to do. My heart was overwhelmed with
sadness. I was alone ! Soon moved as if by a
Divine impulse, I seized my little Bible and the
candle, and going to my bedside I knelt, and
resolved to read whatever chapter the book
should open at. I then read and prayed and
wept in succession for some time."

" Do you remember what passage you hap-
pened to find ? " asked Johnnie, whose cheeks
were bedewed with tears.

" I cannot well forget it. The evening inter-
view of Nicodemus with Jesus especially at-
tracted my attention. The more I read and
studied it, the more interested I became. Like
Nicodemus, I felt I was holding intercourse
with the Master, and like him I was confounded
with the spirituality and depth of his teaching.
I was made to see and feel that my religion had
been a mere shell — a superficial and generally
defective form, without power. This was espe-
cially true with regard to my prayers, and with

1
1 '

/ /r

254

SPIRITUAL STIWaaLES.

most of the religious services I had performed
in church. For these were in Latin, so that
they were necessarily repeated much as a parrot
mifjht do it. The same was true with reij^ard to
my previous views of the Lord's Supper. I had
been taught that I must eat the body of my
Lord, in the same manner in which ordinary
bread is eaten."

" Why, father," remarked Luella, " wouldn't
that be worse cannibalism than savages are guilty
of ? They eat the flesh of their fellows, but we
never read of their eating the flesh of their
gods ! "

" Of this you must judge for yourself. But
I begp.n to see the meaning of Christ's words
when he said, ' Your fathers did eat manna,' as
other food is eaten, ' in the wilderness and are
dead.' Then, speaking of himself, he ^aid,
* This is that bread which came down from
heaven : not as ycur fathers did eat manna,'
— that is, not in the same way of eating, with
the gross organs of the body, — * not as your
fathers did eat manna hnCi are dead : he that
eateth of this bread shall live forever.' This
bread, then, I saw was spiritual bread, and munt
be partaken of spiritually and not physically.
For Paul says, * There is a natural body, and
there is a spiritual body.' It is the spiritual
body of Christ which we are to eat by faith.

WONDERFUL NIGHT.

255

And my conclusion was confirmed by that say-
ing of Jesus : ' The words .hat I speak unto
you, they are spirit and they are life.' I further
discovered that * eating his flesh and drinking
his blood' was synonymous with ' believing on
him,' for to both he attaches the same result.
Thus, *hc that believeth on me hath everlasting
life,' and * whoso eateth my flesh and drinketh
my blood hpth eternal life.' The Revelator re-
presents Christ as saying, 'Behold I stand at
the door and knock : if any man hear my voice,
and open the door, I will come in to him, and
will sup with him, and he with me.' Paul ex-
plains this by saying, ' That Christ may dwell in
your hearts by faith.' Again : * Christ liveth
in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh
I live by the faith of the Son of God, who
loved me and gave himself for me.' I saw, too,
that this saving faith is the most simple, and
yet the most mighty, thing known upon earth.
For Christ said to Nicodemus, * And as Moses
lifted up the serpent in the wilderness,' so that
the dying Hebrews, simply looking upon it,
might be healed — an historic event which Nico-
demus well understood — * even so must the
Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever be-
lieveth in him,' or looketh unto him, though
from the uttermost parts of the earth, * should
not perish, but have eternal life.'

256

SPWTl/AL STRVGGLKS.

'* But it was in regard to this subject of being
' born again,' or ' from above,' that my super-
ficiality was especially noticeable. I had al-
ways been taught that the baptism of water had
made me a Christian — that is, that I was born
again, or regenerated, at the time and in virtue
of my baptism. This, I saw, was giving to the
term water*, which is used but once in this won-
derful dialogue, altogether too much prominence.
I now realized that it was used as a mere
symbol of the cleansing and refreshing influences
of the Spirit upon the truly born again ; just
as fire in John the Baptist's prophecy, 'He
shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with
fire,' is evidently not to be interpreted literally,
but as presenting the vivifying and enlightening
power of the Spirit upon those whom Christ
saves. I was made to feel that this re-creation
was the special work of the Holy Ghost, as
mysterious as the conception of Christ had
been, which no man could explain any more
than Nicodemus could tell whence came, or
whither went, the winds. ' For so is every one
that is born of the Spirit.' This change, I saw,
is as necessary as it is wonderful. This is evi-
dent from the abrupt manner of Christ's question
to Nicodemus, as well as by the matter of it. As
there can be no physical life without a physi-
cal birth, so I saw that there could be no

it:^::

TO BE " BORN AGAIN."

257

spiritual life without a spiritual birth. • That
which is tlesh is flesh, and that which is spirit
is spirit ; ' each created and subsisting by agen-
cies and laws peculiarly its own. But the
crowning interest in my study of the passage
was reached when I found that this radical
change was to be divinely attested ; that it
might be as clearly known and felt as Nicode-
mus felt the passing breeze, the Holy Ghost
bearing witness with our spirit that, though
once enemies of God and children of wrath,
now we are children of God, ' born by a new
celestial birth,' and * heirs of immortality.' If I
would enjoy this inestimable blessing, I saw that
I uuist not be ashamed of Christ, but must
come out of darkness into the light, and look to
him alone for the recreating power. Several
hours of the night passed away in these
solemn meditations ; and I finally retired, but
more to think and weep and pray than to
sleep. From that time to this I have not
ceased to read and study the Bible on my
knees, while looking to God with the prayer
of the psalmist, * Open thou mine eyes, that I
may behold wondrous things out of thy law.'

" This nightly interview with Jesus, and
almost vision of divine things, gave a pleasing
check to my skeptical tendencies. The Sabbath

■I

'. II

258

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

::Vl

.. '1' '■;

i ;'

r ■

following, 1 made this entry in my journal :
* Were it possible for me to give an adequate
idea of my present state of mind, volumes
might be filled. But time will not permit me
to say more than this : I will seek salvation
though a thousand worlds oppose !' This resolu-
tion greatly stimulated me, and seemed to sweep
away every barrier that obstructed ny way.

" On the twenty-first of Novembt I began to
teach school where I had taught \e previous
winter, near the village of Clintonville. There,
in the personal piety and infiuence of one of
the citizens of the district, Mr. James Mace,
whose religion was not a mere profession, nor a
routine of duties mechanically performe< iut
the golden thread that made the warp and woof
of his everyday life, I found the next great help
to rescue me from unbelief, and to guide me to
the Saviour. I am sure that a holy life is
one of God's brightest beacon lights in this
lower world, mighty to confound infidelity, and
to establish the kingdom of the Redeemer. This
man's conversation and manners at home and
abroad — for 1 was much in his company — not
only instructed and delighted me, but led me
to the conclusion that he was in possession of
a precious something to which I was a stranger.
O, how I longed to know the secret of his joys !

!»t

ADVANCING

259

"Throuofh his means I was invited to take a
class in the Sr«)M? ay-school at Clinton ville.
After some hesitation and study — for I felt
incompetent to the task, having never belonged
to such an institution even as a scholar — I con-
sented to do so. This brought me nearer the
warm heart of the Church, and made the
more careful study of the Bible, by means of
maps and commentaries, a necessity. Thus my
m> tal and moral faculties were drawn out and
developed side by side, and in about equal pro-
portion. With the closing days of the year a
series of extra meetings began in the chui -,
under the pastoral labours of the Rev. Benjamin
Pomeroy. For several days, though an inte-
rested attendant upon the services, I took no
active part. But I was strangely attracted to
the meetings. ' No wonder,' I wrote in my
journal, ' the lamb loves the grassy mead where
it feeds, and the sparkling fountain where it
may ^lily quench its thirst.* My spiritual
nature was being disencumbered of superstition,
and my eyes enlightened to see Iho path of duty.
One evening, after returning trom the church,
I wrote the following stanzas : —

" "Tia swfet^t to hold converse with Him
Who hoklfl lis in His power ;
'Tis sweet lo yield our souls to Him

17^

In night's aerenest hour.

200

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

" ' 'Tia then His spirit draweth nigh,
And folds us to His breast ;
He wipes the tears from sorrow's eye.
And gives the spirit rest.'

My heart was in a constant spirit of prayer, de-
siring to be led by the wisdom of God alone. I
was not yet converted, or 'born again,' and yet
it seemed as if but one step more would bring
me to the desired i»oal. One night I had a
strange dream, which quite fully explained
my condition. The ne :t day I tried to express
it in poetry ; and though my eftbrt may lack
many of the elements of polished verse, you will,
I hope, excuse the style, and treasure up its
substance while I read it from my journal." I
then took my third volume, from which 1 read
as follows : —

'• ' I dreamed that from this world t tlew,
Through airy tides and sky of blue ;
That angels lent me wings of light
To bear me onward in my Hight.

" ' The more 1 rose above the i-arth,
The more my spirit neared its birth ;
For anj,'els told me of a love
That only reigns si!j»reme above.

'• ' Up, up we rose through deep expanse,
Till worlds of light uround di<l glance,
And all the sky began to bla/.e,
J?'il,].ing my soul with die^d jJi«.azc.

DUEAMlNd.

" ' This blaze was not from scorching fire,
Nor of tlie Father's kindh'd ire —
But 'twas of Love's own purest gk)W,
Sucli love as ne'er is found helow.

" ' Faint grew my heart — dazzled my sight-
My spirit trembled — gone its might —
Yet in despair I raised a cry,
Whose eclio shook the very sky ;

" * O, God, I ne'er can see thy face.
Unless my lisart be purged by grace !
And now to earth I fall —I fall--
O ! send thy angels to my call.

261

U i

With startled pace quick Hew my guide,

Who instantly stood by my side.
And aided my return to earth,

AVhere my soul must, in time, iiave birth.

. ♦ • ♦ *.

"' All ye wiiu C'iiristian faitli pretend,
Leave all things tdse — to this attend [
O ! seek the kingdom, first, of heaven —
The grace througii faith in Christ now given,

" * For if your tliglit too soon should come,
You cannot reach that blessed liome,
For God will not have aught to do
With hearts not good, nor pure, nor true.'"

With the recitation of this simple yet impres-
sive dream and its moral, our interview closed.

;

ii('

it;

m I '

XVI

Rebtino at Last — Nora and Her I rother — Theo-
dore — The Altar — Coute guE Cocte — Saving
Faith — " Joy Unspeakahle " — Finale.

But what things were gahi to me, those I counted Iohh (or I'hrist. Yea,
doubtlcHs, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the kuow-
ledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.— Paul,

|HE week hiul been full of trials to our
faith and patience, espeeially Nora's.
,i5' Hut like the oak in storms, these \ irtues
had taken dt^eper root. Several at-
tempts, niost ingeniously planned, had
been made to veu\ove her from us, hut in vain
Here is a specimen. One day a close carriage
was driven to the gate, from which alighted a
gentleman of middle age, who proved to be one
of Nora's brothers, a sea-captain, whom she
nad not seen for many years, and scarcely re-
cognized. He was greeted with great cor-
diality and friendship by her, and introduced
to the family. After considerable chatting on
various topics, Nora, whose heart is always
glowing with her new-found hope, and full of the

NORA AND HEH BROTHER,

263

priceless enjoyment of the pure and undefiled re-
ligion of t]ie Bible, told her brother, in a child-
like and touching manner, the story of her conver-
sion to Jesus, and of her membership in a Pro-
testant (liini'h. He was evidently moved by t]\o
fervent, straightforward nairivtivi>, but atl'ectcd
never to have heard of it bofore. Then he
sugj^jostod that, as he was very anxious to
hear inoie of these interesting particulars, if
she would get ready and go with him to a
neighbouring city, whither his business called
him, she could relate her beautiful experience
more fully during the few hours of their
ride; otherwise he would not be able to
visit mvich longer, for he must soon be going.
Plausible as all this appeare<l, Nora was not in-
clined to accept the invitation w^ithout probing
the matter a little more deeply. Had it been
the first attempt, and had no threats of ab-
duction ever been made, it undoubtedly/ would
have succeeded. But birds are seldom caught
the second time in the same snare, though its
appearance be ever so much changed or dis-
guised. Seeing that his proposition was not
acceptable, he grew a little restless, and finally
said he must go, but that he had reserved the
best news for the last. He then told Nora
that Providence had given him favouring
breezes ; that during the Franco-Prussian war

264

SPIKITUA L STRf/aaiES.

he had acquired a princely fortune while navi-
gating the waters of the contendini^ parties ;
that he had just purchased a palatial residence
in New York for their father, whose declining
years should be relieved of the shaine and
want resulting from former misfortunes, and
that now hv. was ready to settle a munificent
annuity up(m his brothers and sisters who
were willing to spend the remainder of their
lives together in the metropolis. To corro-
borate his statement, he exhibited deeds of
the property recently purchased ; and his
pocket-book revealed that he was not a stranger
to gold and its equivalents in large amounts.

Nora looked on him for a few moments in
mute astonishment. Then straiijfhtenincf her-
self up into a majestic attitude, and gazing
upon him with her deep blue eyes, which, es-
pecially when she was greatly moved, would
remind one of the azure sky when the clouds
have just been reft, she said : —

" Brother " — and there was such pathos in
her tone that it seemed to pierce his heart —
" you compel me to look upon your gold as
a bribe to draw me away from Jesus, and to
bring me back to the yoke and heavy burden of
former years — a burden which neither our
fathers nor we were able to endure. But, my
dear brother," and tears gushed from her eyes

NORA AND HER BROTHER.

265

and dripped down her long lashes as she re-
peated the tender word, " I have found purer
gold than you possess — it is ' the gold tried in
the fire,' and I am heir of a finer mansion than
you have purchased, even a mansion in heaven,
while the blessings I receive are vastly better
than annuities, for every moment they perfectly
satisfy my wants and longings, filling my heart
with a joy which no language can express.
And all this comes from my being the willing
bride of Him to whom are all things, and who
is to me a Friend that sticketh closer than a
brother. I trust that you will see that my
course is the result of deep conviction, and also
of an inward experience which daily grows
more bright and satisfactory. Henceforth my
«ong shall be —

, " Mesus, I my cross have taken,

All to leave ^tiid follow thee ;
Naked, poor, despised, forsaken.

Thou, from hence, my all shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition —

All I've sought, or hoped, or known :
Yet how rich is my condition —
God and heaven are still my own ! ' "

This unexpected gush of eloquence, and
touching exhibition of pure devotion to Christ,
fell upon the captain like a storm upon an un-
ballasted vessel, and tears, unbidden, trickled

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266

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

down hig sun-tanned cheeks. Recovering him-
self from the first and almost overpowering
shock, he stepped forward, caught Nora in his
brawny arms, and embraced her with the
tenderness of a child. Human love, purified
and intensified by Divine love, had conquered
him. While thus caressing her, he told her
that, instigated and urged by their parents
and the parish priest, he had come to spirit her
away, if she could be induced to enter his car-
riage. He then humbly begged her to forgive
him for having lent himself as the mean tool
of what he now saw was wicked, Jesuitical
trickery — yes, he even used this word — and
again embracing her, he said, " Nora, don't for-
get to pray for your oldest, and probably your
wickedest brother ! " So saying, he took hia
hat, and with a doubtful, hesitating step entered
his carriage and moved away. From the piazza
Nora watched the receding vehicle until it
disappeared in the distant crowds, and then re-
tired to her room, doubtless to pray. The next
day she received a note from her brother con-
taining some very encouraging words, and in-
closing a check of a thousand dollars. She said
she regarded both the words and the money
as blessings directly from the Lord, but that the
penitent and hopeful words of her brother gave
her the greater joy.

AN IMPORTANT STEP.

267

A portion of our next interview was con-
sumed in discussing Nora's recent experience.
As a kind Providence had ordered, our whole
company was present, v>n'th the addition of a
young lay-preacher, by the name of Theodore,
who was here to assist me in extra meet-
ings. Consequently my study was quite aa
full of persons as were our hearts of interest.
When, at last, the mind of the party turned to
my own narrative, I began as follows : —

" On the evening of Sunday, January 15, 1854,
having carefully surveyed the grounds of my
individual responsibility to God, and prayerfully
resoh^ed to do my duty, I was induced for the first
time to join in prayer and exhortation among
Protestants. I came forward from the congrega-
tion to the altar, or anxious seat, seeking the
Lord. This I did without solicitation from any
one, and — my mind ho,ving been previously made
up — as a hungry man comes to a savoury meal.
This was one of the greatest events of my life —
an important step which I have never regretted
However, I have learned that salvation is not
dependent upon any outward performance
though the act be the result of an inner convic-
tion of duty. But this step identified me as on
the side of the Lord — as one not ashamed of
him before men."

268

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

i#S,

" Were you converted that night ? " inquired
Johnnie.

" I am sorry to say I was not. I was not yet
sufficiently humbled, and, ! how ignorant of
simple, saving faith, and of the way to secure
it ! One evening a brother asked me to bear
my cross in the meeting, and I was foolish
enough to think he meant that I should carry
an actual cross of wood or bone !

" And there was a prejudice in my heart
against all Protestants, and especially against
Methodists, which had grown up and strength-
ened with my years, besides a subtle pride of
opinion, which it was difficult to give up. I
found it wf;3 one thing to confess these follies
with the lips, and quite another to eradicate
them from the heart. When this barrier to my
progress was overcome, another presented itself
in my way. For now the question arose, as if
proposed by the Master, whether I was willing
to endure for his sake the persecution which I
knew would come upon me. I was fully aware
of the feeling of contempt which my old Catholic
friends would entertain toward me. My former
experience, hard master that it was, told me all
about it. Like the Apostle Paul, I expected
their hatred and scoffs, their abuse, and perhaps
physical violence. How ' the fear of man which
bringeth a snare ' bound me ! For some time I

GOUTE QUE COUTE.

269

struggled like a captive with his chain. And
yet, who has not felt this galling fetter ? To
secure by industry and good behaviour an un-
sullied reputation among my fellows had been
something more than a dream of my life. Now
to have my name cast out as evil — to be regarded
as a turncoat, an apostate, a traitor, a vagabond
— to be the butt of ridicule, and the object of
reliefious anathemas from those whose friend-
ship I had so fully enjoyed (O ! who can bear
the scorn of friends ! ) — all this was terribly
trying to my unrenewed nature. But as T was
thus counting the cost, I was enabled to submit
by recalling the words of Jesus : ' If any man
will come after me, let him deny himself, and
take up his cross daily, and follow me.' And
like my Saviour, ' who made himself of no
reputation, and took upon him the form of a
servant,' that he might bear the sins and re-
proaches of us all, I saw that I must be willing
to endure the offence of the cross, and be as the
filth and oiiscouring of the world, for the Lord's
sake."

" How long," questioned Monsieur Grenier,
" did it take you to reach this conclusion ? "

" As nearly as I can remember, it was several
days. Every step I took in advance was closely
contested. When one mountain peak was reach-
ed, I saw before me a still higher one to be scaled.

270

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

It was like Alps on Alps piled up to heaven.
Now came the question of separation from all
my former friends, my brothers and sisters, and
my dear mother ! This seemed more than I
could bear."

" O ! " exclaimed Luella, " how dillerent was
your lot from mine ; for when I came to Jesus, I
came also to my friends who were already Chris-
tians. And yet in my heart I had to give up
all ; but God gave all back to me — minus my
sins — with love, light, and heaven besides."

" I was soon led to see," I continued, " that if
a man love father, mother, etc., more than Christ,
he is not worthy of him, and that hence I roust
be willing to sever the dearest earthly ties, and
welcome, if need be, the estate of him whose
enemies are they of his own household. But
my spirit struggled most and longest when I
contemplated the effect of my course upon my
mother, who would consider this a burning dis-
grace to the family name, and a stigma upon
the Church of my fathers. In her view it was
the greatest crime which her son could possibly
commit! Her grief would be greater than
could be caused by any calamity that might
befall me, even death at the hands of an assassin,
or on the gallows for capital crime ; for to her I
was to be as one hopelessly ruined for time and
eternity ! For weeks I hesitated at this point.

SELF'S A CHIFICE.

271

unwilling to tender so bitter a cup to her lips.
But at length the sorrows of Christ for me,
rather than those of my friends, conquered me,
and I yielded to the voice of God. Like
Bunyan's Pilgrim, I put, as it were, my fingers
in my ears that the clamours of the world might
cease to affect me, and ran on, crying ' Life \
life ! eternal life ! ' "

" And was not this all the sacrifice God
required at your hands ? " asked Johnnie.

" Not exactly. There still remained the con-
secration of myself. Self, after all, is the
dearest idol we worship — the greatest enemy to
be overcome. Alexander the Great is said to
have conquered the world, and to have wept
that he could extend his conquests no farther ;
but self conquered and ruined him. How truly
wise is the proverb, that ' He that ruleth his
spirit is better than he that taketh a city.' Like
the Indian who is represented as having given
up for God first his blanket, then his gun, after-
ward his dog, and last of all himself, so I had
sacrificed all things, except my will, to the
control of Jesus. At length I was enabled to
make an unconditional and complete surrender
to him as my King, and to count all things,
including my poor self, ' but loss for the excel-
lency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my
Lord.' On the evening of March 19, 1854 —

272

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

ll«

memorable epoch in my history ! — after two
long months of fearful spiritual struggles, while
pleading vocally in prayer-meeting for the
Divine blessing, I was enabled to reach the
sublime height of the poet when he sings —

" ' Hut droj).s of grief can ne'er repay
The (leltt of love I ow(^ :
Here, Lord, 1 give niyself away, —
'Tis all that 1 can do. '

" Then as I waited, by saving faith in the
promise of my Redeemer, the pure light of God
fell from the opening heaven above me, and in
my spirit I heard the sweet voice of Jesus say,
* Peace, be still.' The storm ceased, and there
was a great calm ! ' Halleluia to Gcd and to
the Lamb ! ' was the response of my ransomed
soul, and the song has grown sweeter and
sweeter until this day. I am sure it will be
more glorious still in heaven ! I then praised
the Lord aloud, and called on every one present
to praise him. The language of the psalmist
was mine : ' Let every thing that hath breath
praise the Lord.' What I received was infinitely
above what I had asked or thought, and I
exulted in conscious and free salvation. I
then knew for myself, and not for another, that
Jesus' blood had washed away my sins. And,
O ! with what tender yearnings did my heart

CONCLUSION.

27:J

turn toward my dear mother and all my friends,
that they too might share with me these hal-
lowed joys — these richest gifts of heaven."

" O ! pray tell us," anxiously inquired Nora,
" how your mother received the news of your
conversion, and what ettect it had upon her and
your friends."

" But, Nora, the story is nearly as long as it
is thrilling. I have already related much more
than I contemplated when, on that beautiful
Sabbath, Luella asked me the question which
has proved to be the source of so many of our
joys. But as tne Sabbaths will be too much
occupied with public meetings to the end of this
Conference year to permit us to meet of an after-
noon, as we have been wont to do, should I ever
give you the information you desire, and which
I am very willing to impart, it must be at some
future time. For the present, as a test for the
blessings we have received from above, and as
the means of their growth and enlargement, let
us go forth to live and work for Jesus."

As I uttered these words the Professor arose,
and, in a tender mood which drew tears from all
eyes, proceeded to pronounce a brief valedictory,
or farewell speech, which he had evidently pre-
pared with much care for the occasion, after
which he presented to each one of us an appro-
priate souvenir, as a memorial of our profitable

274

SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES.

gatherings here. Then turning unexpectedly to
Monsieur Grenier and Nora, he gave them each
a beautiful copy of the Holy Bible, accompany-
ing the gifts with eloquent remarks, which
greatly increased our reverence, and deepened
our love for the Divine word. To this Monsieur
Grenier attempted to respond ; but entangled
somewhat in bad English, as he generally is
when embarrassed, and choking with emotions
of gratitude, he made short but cordial work of
it, and our interview terminated with his
beautifully pronounced and not easily forgotten
" Au revoir."

Note. — Should the patrona<i;e given to this Canadian
edition prove as good as that given to tlie American
editions, Mr. Beaudry proposes soon to furnish for
publication a sequel, containing an account of the con-
version of his mother and relatives ; also the thrilling
facts connected with his present Mission work in Montreal.

TORONTO :
PRINTKD AT THB GUARDIAN OFFICE, 78 & 80 KING ST, *A8T

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