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TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 I mm > 
 
 Thk following Tcstimoniiils as to the Httra<>tiveness nnd real 
 value of the a<u;onipanyiiig work, were received by the 
 Publishers before the printed slieets were placed in the hands 
 of the binder : 
 
 Fram I{kv. J. K. Ooodihch, Professw of RkHm-ic and, 
 Emjlish Litrrature and of Latin. 
 
 UxivRUsiTY OF Vkrmokt, March 19, 1874. 
 I have load the Rev. L. N. 15KAunKv's MS., "Sinritual 
 Struggles of .^ Roman Catholic," with much interest — an in- 
 terest which increased as the narrative advanced. The work 
 is well adapted not only to enlighten the Protestant as to the 
 substance and methods of Romanism, but also to help him to 
 appreciate the religious convictions and mental and moral 
 strivings of his fellow-Christians of the Roman CJatholic faith. 
 To the Roman Catholic also, who may read it, it cannot but 
 prove an easy and agreeable introduction to the simplicity and 
 freedom of the Cospel, as taught in the Reformed Churches. 
 The volume wouM be a desirable addition to the Sunday- 
 school library. The structure of the work, consisting, as it 
 does, of a series of conversations, seems to commend it s))e- 
 cially to the persual of the young. 
 
 From Rkv. E. Wkxtwokth, Editor ** Ladies Ripotfilonj." 
 The "Spiritual Straggles of a Roman Catholic," by the 
 Rev. Louis N. Beaudry, of the Troy Conference, is just the 
 thing I have been long looking for from Mr. Beaudry's pen. 
 I have known him intimately in Conference relation for seve- 
 ral years ; have heard portions, here and there, of his intensely 
 interesting personal history, and have felt that he ought to 
 write it out for the benefit of the woild. This task he has at 
 
ii 
 
 TESTIMONIALS, 
 
 last accomplished in most fascinating style- -a stj'le that cannot 
 fail to be attractive to readers of all classe*:. Coming, as his 
 personal experience and revelations do, immediately at the 
 heels of the Gladstone controver^-^" in England, they cannot 
 fail to shed floods of light upon the Roman question. His is 
 no testimony fished up from the minds of the past, but we 
 have before us a living witness to the peculiarities of Rome 
 against which our fathers protested three centuries ago, against 
 which old-world statesmen and governments are protesting 
 with emphasis to-day, and against which it is the duty of every 
 lover of freedom in thought, government, and religion, and 
 every lover of his country, morality, and human progress, still 
 to protest, till the " Man of Sin " be dethroned and destroyed. 
 
 From Rev. Joseph Cook. 
 
 Your book dazzles me by the ingenuity of its plan. The 
 narrative is developed with dramatic skill, and draws one on 
 irresistibly. Even the argumentative portions appear to me 
 likely to command attention from your younger, and they 
 certainly will delight your older, readers. You will be sure 
 to be read, and, I hope, translated. In French, German, and 
 especially in Italian, this book would do good. 
 
 Next in merit to the i^lan is, in my opinion, the style. I 
 do not mean to flatter when I say, I admire exceedingly its 
 clearness, precision, ease, and grace. 
 
 From Rev. Joseph E.'King, D.D. 
 
 Having been premitted to read from advanced sheets the 
 "Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic," by Rev. Louis N. 
 Beaudry, I am prepared to say that this little volume should 
 be in every Sunday-school in the entire Protestant Church. 
 
 Its plot is in,2:i^nious, its statement of facts and doctrine 
 discreet and lucid, its argument free from extravagance and 
 bigotry, its spirit admirably charitable ; and the reader is 
 drawn on from chapter to chapter with increasing fascination 
 of interest to the end, and then regrets there is not another 
 volume of it. 
 
 In the war of evangelical Christianity with papal corrup- 
 
TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 Ill 
 
 tioiis, the press has as yet issued no such telling "hand-gre- 
 nade " as this volume. 
 
 Tut into the hands of a bewildered Catholic at that critical 
 moment when he is mortified with the discovery that the 
 morals of Protestants are superior to those of any Catholic 
 of Ids acquaintance, it may be expected to work the miracle 
 of disenchanting him of his blind bigotry. From that time 
 we shall find him accessible to Gospel truth. I trust the book 
 may be blessed to many thousands. 
 
 From Rev. Washington Frothinoham. 
 
 I have read this volume with intense interest. Its merits 
 are rare and peculiar. It differs from everything in previous 
 existence. Protestants generally take an external view of 
 Komanism. This is a revelation of its errors and dangers from 
 the inside. No Romanist 3an refute its statements. The per- 
 sonal narrative is one of striking character. Its honesty of 
 purpose is transparent. Its style is fresh. Its chief claim 
 rests upon its absolute truth, and this it possesses to such a 
 degree as to deserve a place among the best reading of the 
 age. 
 
 From Kkv. James iM. KiN<i, D.D., Pastor of St. John's M. E. 
 Clianh, JVcir York (Jitij. 
 
 1 have read tlie a<lvaiice she(!ts of the bocMc published by 
 Nelson & Phillips, entitled "Spiritual .Struggles of a Roman 
 Catholic," by Rev. L. N. Beaudry. I have been greatly inte- 
 rested and instruc .ed. The l)ook is written in a conversational 
 style. It deals kindly with the deluded, and puts facts in 
 such form as to lead by convincing the judgment. The writer 
 has had such rare personal experience, and such cogent reasons 
 for study, that his utterances have a right to be considered 
 authoritative. It is a luxury to find a converted Romanist 
 dealing with the deceive 1 followers of Romanism with a charity 
 that wins, instead of wich a severity that repels. Good service 
 will be done for Christianity if Mr. Beaudry's book shall have 
 an extensive circulation. 
 
 b 
 
IV 
 
 TJuSTlMuXlA LS. 
 
 From Ukx. Martin E. Cady, A.M., Prinripal of Troi/ Con- 
 
 fcrnici'. Acadnay. 
 
 I have very carefully exHinincd the proof-sheets of Rev. 
 Louis N. Beiuuiry's new book, entitled "Spiritual Struggles." 
 It is the experience of one struggling out of Honianisni into 
 Protestantism. The candour with which the author deals with 
 Konianism will commend this v(dume to every truth-loving 
 person. 
 
 The plan of the book is very happily conceived, presenting 
 the narrative and th(^ arguments, if they may be calhid such, 
 in the form of iamiliar conversation. It is to be hoped that 
 the book may have a wide circulation, especially in Roman 
 Catholic communities, for it cannot fail of accomplishing a 
 good work. 
 
 From. Rkv. (.". \{. Dunton, Pmf. in Troij Confcrcncr Academy. 
 
 I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed your last book, 
 *' Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic" I read it from 
 the first to the last page with a constantly deepening interest. 
 Its circulation among our youth could not but prove a valuable 
 service to Christianity. 
 
 From Rev. E. A. Whittieu, Evamjclid. 
 
 1 have just completed the reading of "Sjjiritual Struggles 
 of a Roman Catholic," andean most cheerfully commend the 
 book to all. 
 
 The work progresses in interest as you advance from chapter 
 to chapter, unfolding the numerous errors of Romanism in 
 such a light, and with such a spirit, as cannot fail to commend 
 it to all candid minds. 
 
 >Vom Rev. William Butlki!, \yA). 
 
 The most (Candid, intelligent, and chaiitable expos6 of the 
 points involved in this controversy. 
 
 [Dr. Butler has chosen this book, out of the mass of litera- 
 ture on this subject, to be translated and published in Spanish, 
 as a standard work for the permanent use of his missions in 
 Mexico. — Editor.] 
 
TESTIMOXIALS. 
 
 :l 
 
 From Talmagk's " (.'hristian at Work:' 
 
 Tlie Rev. ijouis N. Hfaudiy, n convertt^d Hoiiianist, ami 
 ft)V luaiiy years "an intelligent, i)iotis, iitwl useful Christian 
 minister," has j)ro(lu('eil in this work a tai'-, .andiil ami cha- 
 ritable exhibition ot the peculiar errors through which Honian- 
 ists are compelled to struggle in order to get into the light of 
 Bible Christianity. We have read the work, expt.'cting to iind 
 it disfigured hy blotches of passion or deformed l)y spasnib of 
 anger, but are happy to say that it is entirely free from all 
 language that can well give offence. Of course it oi)ens the 
 system of Komanism so that all mav see it as it is, in its or- 
 ganized and artimilated forces, as they act upon the minds of 
 their victims. It has been so well contrived as a system, the 
 nughtiest ever made, for the enslavement of the human intel- 
 lect, that it is indeed hard to esca[ie when once within its toils. 
 Vlv. Beaudry, in a simple, animated, and charming style, full 
 of French vivacity and yet niosl earnest in purpose, has given 
 us a narrative of hardships, struggles, and difficulties through 
 which he passed to the peace of a well-assured hoj)e. The 
 work is written in a conversational manner, as though it had 
 been spoken to friends eager to learn the story of its author's 
 life. //>, do not remember to have seen a volume better Jilted 
 than this for nniiersal circvlation amancf Protestants ami Ro- 
 manists. Thert! are very many Romanists dissatisfied with 
 the religion they have inheritel yet they do not like to cast it 
 off until they see what they can get in exchange. A kind, 
 temperate, truthful little work like this would be of great ser- 
 vice to such, provided they are able to read it. Then, too, 
 Protestants may learn from these pages what are some of the 
 serious difficnilties with which conscientious Romanists must 
 contend in any efforts they make toward ])ersonal emancipation. 
 
 From " The Methodist (Quarterly Review." 
 This is one of the many books bearing on the Romish (ques- 
 tion, and, in not a few respects, is one of the hest. It is the 
 work of a convert from Romanism, and in its tracing of the 
 great transition is a true autobiogra]jhy. The author was born 
 
vi 
 
 TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 in Vermont, but his juircnts were FiPnch Canadiuns, devotedly 
 attached to the Koniaii Catholic. Chiin.h, and diligont in incul- 
 cating its princi|d('s and practices ujion their numerous chil- 
 dren. He was convinced of the errors of Konie, and converted 
 to the true Catholic faith, wlien about twenty years of age. The 
 author's early training gives him a knowledge of the machin- 
 ery of the I'apal Church, its forms and ceremonies, its me- 
 thods of argument and poimlar appeal. Moreover, lie under- 
 stands the supeistitions and the prejudices, the thousand ties, 
 strong, and yet by outside observers dimly seen, which bind 
 to the hopes, the fears, and the beliefs of childhood and youth, 
 and resist the introduction of clearer light. The story is given 
 in the form of Sunday afternoon conversations with the 
 author's children, and an occasional visitor. There is inter- 
 woven throughout a considerable amount of information in 
 regard to Rome and its errors, and yet there is no bitterness, 
 nor spirit of strife. The style is animated ; and by the intro- 
 duction of various characters, each thinking and talking from 
 his or her own standpoint, the conversation becomes life-like 
 and real, and the reader learns without the labour of acquisi- 
 tion. It is a book for our Sabbath-schools and young people 
 generally. 
 
 From " Tlie N. Y. Christian Advocate.''^ 
 
 Here is a book that quietly answers a thousand questions that 
 Protestants are continually asking with respect to the Romish 
 system and practice, and with a full admission of all the excel- 
 lent things that Romanism holds in common with the univer- 
 sal Church, Mr. Bcaudry was once a Roman Catholic, honest 
 and sincere, and is now a useful and beloved minister in the 
 Troy Conference. In pleasant Sunday afternoon conversations 
 in his own family he tells the story of his life, in response to 
 an inquiry' of his daughter, bringing out not only his own 
 personal experience, with its successive steps and the influence 
 that led to his conversion, but the grounds of the faith and 
 usages that he abandoned. Events have turned public atten- 
 tion to Romanism in some of its aspects of public danger, and 
 
TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 Vll 
 
 this little book is calculated to show it as a soul-ensnaring 
 system. It ought to be widely rend. Its sjjirit is one of 
 Christian tenderness, and its style so simple and easy that old 
 and young will find it pleasant to read. 
 
 Froyn *' The New Orlrav^ Christian Advocate." 
 
 This work is better for its purpose than a learned and ela- 
 borate treatment in a theological way. It has the freshness of 
 actual experience, and the fascination of a story, while it em- 
 braces the most salient points of the controversy with Papal 
 error and superstition. Our Protestant readers will find it a 
 book full of interest and instruction, and it will be found an 
 excellent work to put into the hands of persons leaning to Ro- 
 man Catholicism who are willing to read and be informed. 
 
 From *' Zion's Herald,'' {Boston, Mass.) 
 
 In a story form, with much literary grace, rather than in 
 the monotonous record of chronological incidents, the writer 
 presents his early doubts, difficulties, reasonings, conflicts, and 
 triumphs, as he emerged from the bonds of a supen-;titious 
 formalism into light, ti-ust, and peace of the Gosj)el. It is an 
 excellent volume to circulate, and should be translated into 
 the modern European languages. It will be an elo(juent, 
 although silent, evangelist. 
 
 From " The Rutland {Ft.) Herald.'' 
 
 Mr. Beaudry's style is simple and vivacious, calm and dig- 
 nified. He tells a plain story, void of j)assion and unmarred 
 by any language which could give offence. 
 
 From " The Religious Herald," {Hartford, Conn.) 
 
 The book is interesting, and far more reliable than some of 
 our best stories ; it is, in fact, a series of conversations between 
 the author and members of his family. We took it up for 
 family reading, and could hardly relinquish it until read 
 through. It is of value to Protestants, and should be read by 
 all before they consider themselves competent to speak upon 
 this subject. In fact, we know of no class of readers to whom 
 
Vlll 
 
 TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 it would not l)t* intorestiiig. It is a living witness to the trutb 
 tlu; Popish Church still holds, not sparingly pointing out its 
 errors, and pronijitly and boldly holding up erroneous views 
 held by I'rotestunts concerning this Church. 
 
 No Uoniiini.st can refute its statements ; in I'act, several 
 staunch Konuinists are introduccid as characters in the plot of 
 the story. It is furthermore lull of charity for the errors of all 
 men. God's service will surely be done by an extensive circu- 
 lation of the work. It should go into every Sabbath -school iu 
 the lard. It should b<! in every family, especially those em- 
 ploying lionianist domestics. Most of our best servants would 
 read the W(jrk and be much protit»'d by the same. 
 
 From " TIic Rirhmond (Fa.) Christiav Advocate.'" 
 
 This is a timely book, and we hope will do much toward 
 showing the true character ami aims of the Konuinists, The 
 style is pleasing. The points of difference between Protestants 
 and Catholics are strongly and clearly brought out, and the 
 very language of Catholic vniters is given, so that there can be 
 no charge of niisstatement. We hope this little book will be 
 extensively read. It must do good. 
 
 From *^ L^Avrorr,^' (French Prof csfauf Jl'trkf,/, ^fon(r(•aI, 
 
 Canada.) 
 
 This work, written in the form of conveisations, is as 
 admirable for its style as for the Christian spirit which cha- 
 racterizes it. It brings forth the principal errors of the i^omish 
 Church with clearness, without doing violence, however, to 
 the religious sentiments of its l^omish readers. By means of 
 this book — unique of its kind — Mr. Beaudry has rendered a 
 great service to the cause of the Gospel. Every Protestant en- 
 gaged in evangelizing his Konian Catholic neighbours will find 
 this work of inestimable value. 
 
 From " Tlie Ladies' lleposifory." 
 
 Mr. Beaudry promises to continue the conversations with 
 his children at some future tinu'. Should he do so, we 
 cordially ho])e that the generous reception accorded to the 
 
TESTIMONIA L^. 
 
 present interosting work may induce liini to plac'c another 
 volunip in the hands of the pulilishorH. The book before us 
 breathes a catholicity of si»irit rarely witnessed in those who 
 have become converts to ii faith not theirs by birthright. 
 ** Spiritual Striiggles " is no misnomer, liove for the Homish 
 Chun'h ; a sincere belief in hei' infalliliility ; a desin; to prove 
 the foundation of his faith, conil)ined with an ardent affection 
 for his mother, caused our author weary months of painful 
 wat(!hings, fastings, and prayers, ere he was willing to yiehl 
 •obedience to the voice of the Holy Spirit. 
 
 (t 'p 
 
 here 
 
 From " Thr N. >'. J Jail 1/ IFUm'ss-r 
 
 This book meets a felt want in tlie (Jhristian world, 
 are," as Professor Hawley remarks in his preface, "many 
 volumes purporting to be narratives of personal exix-ricnce and 
 revelations of Catholic atrocity, but the style and spirit in 
 which they are commc'.ily written preclude their wide circula- 
 tion and impede their usefulness." 
 
 The gentle spirit of charity in which this memoir is written, 
 the full concession of sincerity to priests and [)eop]e, the story 
 of the agony and indecision through which its subject passed, 
 all fit it to soften, impress, and i>repare the mind for a thought- 
 ful discussion of the points of controversy, making it at the 
 same time a most desirable book to place in the hands of young 
 Protestants. The evident truthfulness and(;ircumstantiality of 
 the narrative will interest old and young alike. 
 
 From " The Morning Star.'' 
 
 "Spiritual Struggles of a Roman Catholic " gives an account 
 of the experience of Kev. Louis N. Beaudry in emerging from 
 the traditional errors and leligious superstitious of Romanism 
 to the liberties of the gospel of Christ. The author has been 
 for some time an accepted preacher of the Protestant faith, and 
 in comparing the two religions he tlraws on an ex[»erieuce 
 which in both cases has been deep and valualde. It throws 
 oonsiderable light on liuestions now agitating the j)U^!ic 
 mind. 
 
TluSTlMONIALS, 
 
 From *' The Canadian Methodist Magazine.*' 
 
 The spirit of this book is admirable. The author brings no 
 railing accusation. He writes more in sorrow than in anger, 
 and on controversia' points cites the authority of recognized 
 Romish manuals of religion. He points out many excellence* 
 in the Romish system, and some things worthy of Protestant 
 imitation, especially the sedulous religious training of the 
 young in the tenets of the Church. It is this that makes it so 
 difficult to overcome the influence of these teachings, which 
 have become enfibred in the very soul. The religious struggles 
 oi those who do break through these influences, and assert 
 their unshackled liberty of conscience and responsibility to 
 God alone, are oftentimes exceedingly severe. All the mechan- 
 ical religious exercises that the author underwent brought no 
 peace to his awakened conscience. The wearing of scapulars, 
 performing of penances, fre([uent confession and frequent 
 communion, did not heal the rankling wound he felt in his 
 soul. It was only the application of the balm of Gilead and of 
 the blood that cleanseth, that made him whole. 
 
 From " The Christian Guardian,^' {Toronto.) 
 
 The book is written in an admirable spirit, and is calculated 
 to do much good. It brings no railing accusation against 
 Rome, but simply tells how one who was caught in the toils of her 
 superstitions struggled into the liberty of the Gospel. Mr. 
 Beaudry was the son of French Canadian parents, and himself 
 long resided in Lower Canada. The book illustrates the 
 workings of the mysteiy of iniquity in a very instructive 
 manner. The very pillars of our commonweal are imperiled 
 by this system, which possesses such political power and such a 
 comprehensive organization. Every Christian and patriot may 
 learn lessons of deepest importance by the study of the 
 presentation of the Romanism here set forth. 
 
 From *' The Canadian Spectator,'* {Montreal.) 
 
 The Rev. Mr. Beaudry is a convert from Romanism, who, 
 unlike most "verts," is not given over to the "odium theolo- 
 gicum " in discussing the tenets of his former faith iu com- 
 
TESTIMONIALS. 
 
 XI 
 
 parison with Protestantism, but presents what lie now con- 
 ceives to be its errors in a manner that is remarkable for its 
 fairness and kind treatment. The story of his difficulties and 
 the way in which he found an escape from them is told ia a 
 scries of conversations with his family and some friends, which 
 from their easy style avoid the obtrusiveness of personal narra- 
 tion, and awake interest in the application made by the hearers 
 of Mr. Beaudry's experience. Not the least valuable part of 
 his treatment of Romanism and its contradictions is the amount 
 of correct information as to its real teaching and his condem- 
 nation of vulgar errors in this respect-errors too fretjuently 
 persisted in by even the most intelligent Protestants. Never- 
 theless, while speaking with all kindness and respect hia 
 argument is plain and forcible, its arrangement skilful' and 
 the illustrations apt. Additional interest attaches to the book 
 Irom tlie fact that its author, though bom in Vermont, is of a 
 French Canadian family. 
 
 From J, Warrex Martin, E.sq., Chatham, Ont. 
 The book is received and read all through with much interest. 
 1 have read several such works, but none have left on my mind 
 and heart such prayerful yearning, love and pity for our lionian 
 Catholic co-religionists. I am determined to know nothing 
 among then, but - Christ and Him crucified " henceforth, God 
 being my helper. 
 
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3y^. 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES 
 
 oy A 
 
 ROMAN CATHOLIC: 
 
 AN AUTORIOGKAPHICAL SKETCH. 
 
 BY LOUIS N. BEAUDRY, 
 
 Author ok " Army and Prison Experiences v,;th thk Fifth New 
 
 York Cavalry." 
 
 WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY THE REV. H. HAMLEY, D.I). 
 
 ' Now rest, my lony-divided heart ; 
 
 Fix'd on this blissful centre, rest ; 
 Nor ever from thy Lord depart : 
 
 With Ilim of every good possess'd." 
 
 — Doddridge. 
 
 jFirjst Canabian ^Ebition, HSnlargtb anb Umprobtb. 
 
 TORONTO: ' 
 METHODIST BOOK AND PUBLISHING hOUSE, 
 
 78 AND 80 KING street EAST. 
 
 MONTREAL. 3 BLEURY STREET. 
 
 1880. 
 
!! I 
 
 
 2021 
 
 Entebed, according to the Act of the Parliament of Canada,, 
 in the year one thousand eight hundred and eighty, by the Rev. 
 Louis N. Bhaudry, in the Office of the Minister of Agriculture. 
 
TO .MY 
 
 DISTIXOUISHKO S(!HOOL..MATK, 
 
 THE REV. JOSEPH COOK, 
 
 THROUGH WHOSE INSTRUMKNTAUTV I WAS KlRsT BROUGHT 
 IN CONTACT WITH THK SIMPLE WORD OF TKUTH, 
 
 AND TO 
 
 THE REV. BENJAMIxX POMEROY, 
 
 BY WHOSE EVANGELISTIC LABOURS I WAS FINALLY LED TO 
 THE HAPPY EXPEllflENCE OF SAVING FAITH 
 IN THE SURE PROMISE, 
 
 ^^B l$oUxmt is most glffwtionaUlg |itstrihb. 
 
 LOUIS N. BEAUDRY. 
 
INTRODUCTION 
 
 f,V the many subjects now a<,Mtatin;^' tlic niimlrt of the 
 p° pt?opU' in all Christian and civilized countries, none 
 T possesses a more weiglity interest tlian that of 
 Romanism in its rehitions to tlie civil and n'lit,'ious (uni- 
 ditions of socioty. Everywhere and always the same, it 
 seems now, as ever, antagonistic to the larjjest pen^onul 
 liberty, as also to the highest degree of intelligence and 
 purity of a community. Not less opposed is it to any 
 clear convictions of personal responsihilitij to God and a 
 good government. These are facts that are now well and 
 widely known. Christianly enlightened communities 
 and States are somewhat awake to them, and are .nore or 
 less active ir. securing relief from them. Sch(darly and 
 popidar writers are Hooding the world with light on these 
 sultjects. A'olunies are written and libraries are enriched 
 by exposures and histories of what seems to us a dangerous 
 error. Every new phase of the system, as civilization and 
 Christianity advance '-^ being put in its true light. Of 
 these things there may be, thus far, little or no lack of 
 information. But there is another aspect in which the 
 animus, the genius, and the workings of llomanism may 
 be seen. Tliough there are now and then defections from 
 
8 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 \ . 
 
 I it 
 
 nominal Christianity to Papacy, tlierc are also, and in 
 greater nuinhers, converts from Romanism to vital Cluis- 
 tianity. And of tlit;se there have been thus far l>ut few 
 readable developments in an attractive or permanent form. 
 The transition in any sucli case is always great. The 
 struggles to emcrgt! from traditional errors and religious 
 superstitions are, for reasons obvious to all who have 
 studied the genius of Papal teachings and errors, not un- 
 frequently severe, and even heroic. And any one who 
 has passed through them, and has the power and the will 
 to detail them in an attractive form, meets by so doing a 
 desideratum. 
 
 Such a book, not cumbersome, not dull, nor written in 
 the ordinary style of history, or even of narrative, but one 
 tliat traces out delicately and carefully the workings of 
 the soul in its religious transition, is needed. Families in 
 which Romish domestics are employed need such a book 
 written from the stand-point of experience. Young people 
 who see and are favourably impressed l)y the higher in- 
 telligence and purer morality of Protestant Christianity, 
 as also of Christian countries, and especiall}' those who 
 desire to read the Holy Scriptures that they may know 
 for themselves the truth as it is in Jesus, need such a 
 book. But where shall they find it I Volumes, purporting 
 to be narratives of personal experience and revelations of 
 Catholic atrocities, there are in sufficient numbers ; but 
 the style and spirit in which they are commonly written 
 preclude their M^de circulation, or, if circulated, prevent 
 any wide usefulness. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 J) 
 
 Hftvinf; had the privilege of reading, with much care 
 and pleasure, a volume in manuscript entitled " Spiritual 
 Strugghis," written by Rev. Louis N. Beaudry, a convert 
 from Romanism, and for many y»*ara an intelligent, pious, 
 and useful Christian minister, which seems to me well 
 calculated to he popular and useful, and, indeed, to meet 
 a felt want in the Church, I am idcased to commend it t»» 
 the reading public. It is not only, as it purjiorts, an auto- 
 biography — which all who know the writer will esteem to 
 be of itself a commendation — but it gives in a st-ries of 
 conversations, and, therefore, in familiar style, the struggles 
 of others who were participants in the family seances, and 
 who by these means were gradually, intelligently, and 
 religiously led to freedom in Christ. 
 
 The several chapters seem to me to sustain throughout 
 a natural and philosophical relation to each other ; and 
 though the autobiography in fact does not clearly appear 
 as is usual, in the first few pages, yet the writer is all the 
 while the central person, giving character and direction 
 to the conversations. Drawn out in due time to give his 
 own experience, he proceeds to do so without marring the 
 familiar style of the work. The plan of arrangement is 
 unique, simple, artistic, and gradually revealing, so as to 
 keej) the reader on the qui vive of interest and expectancy 
 up to the point where the narrative of personal experience 
 begins, t'nd that is harmoniously continued with the 
 freshness of romance to the very close, when " rest is 
 found — rest to the weary soul." 
 

 \'l If 
 11 t! 
 
 10 
 
 INTBODUCTION. 
 
 Much of the beauty and attractiveness of the volume 
 lies in the very natural and easy manner in which ia 
 shown how the writer, and some of those associated with 
 him in the seances, were led by the truth and the Spirit of 
 God ouL cf the doubts and errors in which they had been 
 educated to a clear experience and appreciation of justifi- 
 cation through faith. And so precious did their experience 
 become, that each and all, young and old, were led to an 
 entire renunciation of the traditions of men, and to a full 
 embrace of the truths of the Gospel. 
 
 Readers of the volume will see how other persons in 
 similar conditions of error may be led to a like precious 
 faith. 
 
 The practical lessons for all who would be, in a similar 
 way, instrumental in leading the erring to Christ, that are 
 gathered from the book, are, that kindness, tenderness, a 
 spirit of concession, an according to others all that truth 
 and justice will allow, and an admission that all truth is 
 exclusively with no one sect, accompanied by a disposition 
 to reason together, will go far to do away prejudice and to 
 win souls to Jesus. 
 
 Because of these and otlier considerations, I cheerfully 
 and strongly commend the book to the reading public. 
 In many respects it is suited to Juvenile readers, and will 
 be a welcome volume in the libraries of Sunday-schoola 
 and of families. 
 
 Bo.sTwicK Hawley. 
 
 ■■#1 
 m\ 
 
 ml 
 
 I I 
 
CON TENTS 
 
 Chapter I. ;>„^^ 
 
 Face to Fa(;e—Luella— Surprises— The Plan 13 
 
 Chapter II. 
 
 First S^ai.oe-8ineerity--Sun.lay Sc-hools-Satisfied and 
 
 JNot batistied— Chanty and Unity 2I 
 
 Chapter III. 
 My Chihlhood-Ancestors-Evang,;.... of Acadia-Early 
 Lessons--Protestants-I>uzzle,l--Pnests and Play- 
 Cards and Dance— Sunday Desecration . . 40 
 
 Chapter IV. 
 The Church's Pillars of Stren^th-Fora-Linibus Infan- 
 tu n-I)on Pio Mortaaa- VestuM-nts an.l Ornanients- 
 C orpus Christi— Pure Devotion 59 
 
 Chapter Y. 
 
 PillarsofStrength-Badges-iioly Water-Pal,,, Branches 
 -An Altar Moy-My.steries and Knowledge-Inn.licit 
 (S^L^'' "' <'-"--ity-I'''allibiliti a I5o;.e of 
 
 75 
 
 Chapter VI. 
 To Whom my Sins Confess /-Monsieur (Jrenier-Aaree- 
 nent and Disagreenient-The Confessional-Preimra- 
 tions— One Metliator ^ gg 
 
 Chapter VII. 
 Power of the Confessional-Nora in Trouble- Ks„io.uu.e- 
 A^ogance of Power-" Whatsoever ye shalf blUy on 
 eaiui, etc.— Diogenes- PI.-ssedLanib of Calvary .,112 
 Chapter VIII. 
 1 he Priest and the Confessional- Who can Jud.re the 
 The'lrr t ;?^^'^;"^ Argnn.ent-Moral Ini^l^o _ 
 SeereJs^^V^^;::^^:""":'^^, l^^^^'-^t-Ahjeet Fear- 
 
 lit* 
 
iir 
 
 12 CONTENTS. 
 
 Chapter IX. 
 
 Great Struggles and False Refuges — First Communion — 
 Penances — Confirmed by Bishop (now Cardinal) 
 McCloskey — In the Army — Extreme Unction — 
 Scapular — Yearnings for the Priee^hood — \Jharla- 
 tanism — Woes Unutterable 147 
 
 Chapter X. 
 
 Providential Means of Relief — Ticonderoga — Leaving 
 Home — Cream Hill, Vt. — At School — Progress — 
 Teaching — Henryville, Canada — Diary — Joseph Cook 
 — Extempore Si)eaking— Education 171 
 
 Chapter XI. 
 
 Persecution and Perplexity— Poor Nora — The Nuns — At 
 Keeseville, N.Y. — First Hearing of the Word — Day 
 Dawn — Sunday School 188 
 
 Chapter XII. 
 
 The Bible — Luther — Various Versions— Jesuit College, 
 Montreal — Paul and Peter — Burnings — Mike and his 
 Priest— My First Bible 199 
 
 Chapter XIII. 
 
 "Blind Peter" — Bible Reading — Alarmed — Celibacy — 
 Prophets and Apostles Married Men — Apocalypse — 
 My Mother in Tears — Preaching to the Trees 213 
 
 Chapter XIV. 
 
 Transition — Happy Nora — Graven Images — Nine Com- 
 mandments — The Virgin Mary — Testimony of Jesus — 
 Purgatory — Indulgences — Prayers for the Dead — 
 Money — Heartlessness — Cut Loose 225 
 
 Chapter XV. 
 
 Danger and Rescue — Romanism and Infidelity — Seeking 
 the True Fold — Weeping, Reading, Praying — Anxious 
 Night — To be "Born Again " — Dream in Verse .... 248 
 
 Chapter XVI. 
 
 Resting — Nora and Her Brother — Attempt to Spirit Her 
 Away — The Altar — Codte que Coftte — Saving Faith — 
 "Joy Unspeakable" — Promise of More — Finale 262 
 
147 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES 
 
 OK A 
 
 188 
 
 
 ROMAN CATHOLIC 
 
 * m * 
 
 T. 
 
 199 
 
 225 
 
 
 Face to Face — Miss Luella — Surprises — The Plan. 
 
 Come now, let us reason together.— Zm/aA. 
 
 T was a lovely Sabbath afternoon, early 
 in the autumn of 18 — . I had just re- 
 ^1 turned to the parsonage from an inter- 
 ^^ esting session of our Sunday-school, 
 where I had been making a few re- 
 marks, contrasting the privileges of the children 
 before me with my own, when I was a child. 
 1 was now seated in an easy chair in my study, 
 absorbed in pensive reveries. 
 
 ** The melancholy days had coine, 
 The saddest of the year." 
 
 The cricket was just beginning his solemn 
 chirpings in the walls around me, and directly 
 
r 
 
 
 I 
 
 ! 
 
 1 i 
 
 14 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 before my window the leaves of the drooping 
 elms gave evident signs of decay and approach- 
 ing winter. Here and there among the leaves 
 were irregular openings, through which, like 
 rifts in the clouds that reveal the blue sky 
 beyond, 1 could distinctly see the placid bosom 
 of the nob^.3 Hudson, now beautifully emble- 
 matic of a soul peacefully resting by faith in 
 the promises of the world's Redeemer. But 
 while I looked and pondered, a steamer, plying 
 between two neighbouring cities, laden with her 
 crowd of pleasure-seekers and Sabbath -breakers, 
 disturbed the glassy surface of the stream, and 
 interrupted the pleasing flow of my meditations. 
 
 Just then two loving arms were thrown 
 around my neck, and, as I slightly turned my 
 head, a sweet kiss was bestowed upon my lips. 
 It was Luella, my eldest child, now almost a 
 young lady, who, seeing my study door ajar, had 
 softly tripped in on tiptoe behind me, to surprise 
 me with her caresses. Seating herself in her 
 camp-chair by my side, and looking up in- 
 quiringly into my face, she remarked : 
 
 "Why, father, we were not a little astonished 
 to-day at your telling us that you were nineteen 
 years old when you first went into one of our 
 Sunday-schools ! For my part, I should like to 
 know the reason why you did not begin to 
 attend Sunday-school as young as we did," 
 
FACE TO FACE. 
 
 15 
 
 meaning, of course, herself, her brother Johnnie, 
 and her little sister Mary. 
 
 " Nov, Luella, I suppose that you have 
 already learned the answer to your question, at 
 least in a general way ; which is, that I was 
 educated m the faith of the Roman Catholic 
 Church. But I perceive by the tone of your 
 question, and the deep solicitude expressed in 
 your countenance, that you are anxious to learn 
 the particulars of my peculiar and eventful 
 life, especially during its earlier years." 
 
 " You have guessed it exactly, father ; but I 
 did not know that I could express so much by 
 a mere accent, or a look of my face and eyes." 
 
 " You have many things yet to learn, my 
 child. I hope your teachers may themselves be 
 so well instructed as not only to be able to sa- 
 tisfy the natural inquieitiveness of your mind, 
 and to develop all its latent faculties, but also 
 so evangelical in spirit as to lead you into that 
 beautiful Christian experience, the beginning 
 and progress of which may be at least intimated 
 by the simple words : penitence, pardon, peace, 
 purity, poioer" 
 
 " O, greatly as I desire to know more and 
 more of the ways of God, I am very glad to be 
 able to tell you that I think I know something 
 of those subjects already, dear father." 
 
 Rising as she spoke, she again warmly threw 
 
m 
 
 16 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 her arms around me, and sobb^d on my bosom, 
 while I pressed her closely to my heart, praising 
 God for the saving mercies which were so freely 
 bestowed on myself and family. At length, 
 after wiping away my tears of joy, as also her 
 own, she resumed her seat, and I 'continued : — 
 
 " For several reasons, I<uella, I am glad this 
 subject of my religious struggle has come up to- 
 day. In the first place, it gives me a good op- 
 portunity to say, with the royal psalmist, 'Come 
 and hear, all ye that fear God, and I will declare 
 what he hath done for my soul.' And again, 
 like the man whom Jesus had saved, I may go 
 home to my friends and tell them how great 
 things the Lord hath done for me, and hath had 
 compassion on me. I trust, too, that I may be 
 impelled and controlled by the disposition en- 
 joined by the Apostle Peter upon his brethren, 
 to * be ready always to gi^'^e an answer to every 
 man that asketh you, a reason of the hope that 
 is in you, with meekness and fear.' 
 
 " I suppose you &. . aware that this question 
 of Romanism is just now awakening a deep 
 3olicitu(ie in the popular mind of every civilized 
 nation, and especially of our own. It is being 
 discussed on the platform, in the pulpit, and by 
 the press, from nearly every stand-point possi- 
 ble, and not seldom by those who are ignorant 
 of its principles and spirit, and who in not a 
 
FACE TO FACE. 
 
 17 
 
 /SI 
 
 stion 
 
 few cases evince quite other than Christian 
 sentiments. As to myself, I am conscious of no 
 feelings of hostility toward any man or class of 
 men. 1 know, too, that ' hard words are like 
 hailstones in summer, beating down and de- 
 stroying what they would nourish were they 
 melted into drops.' So, in speaking to you or 
 to others on this subject, my only motive is to 
 do good and to advance the cause of truth ; and 
 in this case I can speak, as you know, from 
 the depths of experience, of the things which 1 
 liave seen and known. 
 
 " You have often heard me express a strong 
 desire to get Romanists and Protestants to hear 
 and read with candour ^n? another's views, or, 
 were it possible, to reason together, assured that, 
 would they do so, much of the misunderstanding 
 between them would soon cease, political animo- 
 sities would be removed, religious courtesies 
 would be freely exchanged, and no contention 
 would exist among us, save that noble rivalry, 
 or rather emulation, to see who can best work 
 and best agree. All men would feel better 
 pleased with themselves and those around thorn 
 if only they were better acquainted with each 
 other. How important, too, in a land like ours, 
 especially where the population is made up of 
 all nationalities, with all degrees of intellec- 
 tual, social, and moral development, with all 
 
\,\ 
 
 >\ I 
 
 18 
 
 SPIRITUAL STBUQOLEFJ. 
 
 sliades of political and religious creeds, that men 
 should meet and consult with one another, for 
 in this way only shall we learn that no man is 
 either wholly right or wholly wrong ; and under 
 the force of such a conviction the truth will be 
 sought and found, and we may here witness the 
 fulfilment of Isaiah's beautiful prophecy, * The 
 wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leo- 
 pard shall lie dov/n with the kid ; and the calf 
 and the young lion and the fat ling together ^ 
 and a little child shall lead them,' even the holy 
 child Jesus. 
 
 " Now, toward the achievement of such a 
 grand and glorious realization I have many 
 years been desirous of contributing my mite of 
 influence ; and for a long time, and especially of 
 late, have I seriously thought of writing a book» 
 by means of which I might help to bring my 
 Romanist and Protestant friends and fellow - 
 citizens face to face, as it were, to discuss in a 
 friendly and Christian spirit the matters which 
 have kept them so long and so widely at vari- 
 ance. And this I can do in answering your 
 question. Really, I begin to feel as if this sub- 
 ject had come up between us to-day, Luella,just 
 in time to stimulate me to undertake this work, 
 and to assist me in its prosecution." 
 
 '* Well, well, I had no idea of putting in mo- 
 
FACE TO FACE. 
 
 19 
 
 my 
 
 ^ari- 
 rour 
 jub- 
 iust 
 
 10- 
 
 ■A 
 
 tion such a train of events when I asked you my 
 question." 
 
 " I told you before, that there is much yet for 
 you to learn. But how would you like to have 
 our private conversation made the subject of a 
 public chronicle ?" 
 
 " Why, indeed, you make my head whirl by 
 your surprises ! You don't mean to have printed 
 in a book what we are now talking about, so 
 that iveryhody may read it, do you ? " 
 
 " Would you object ( " 
 
 " I scarcely know what to answer, you take 
 me so off my guard." 
 
 " Well, no matter now. I have a new propo- 
 sition to make right here." 
 
 " Another surprise, I suppose ! " 
 
 " Perhaps so, but it is simply this : — that you 
 run down stairs and call in the rest of the chil- 
 dren, for you know they are very fond of hear- 
 ing us tell stories, and I think this one is not 
 above their capacity. Invite your mother and 
 Aunt Melie also, if they think that baby Charlie 
 will not disturb us with his crowing or crying." 
 
 " Shall I not ask Nora to come in too ? " 
 
 " I think not now, for she might take it as an 
 offence, or * a bit of persecution,' as she would 
 call it." 
 
 Nora was a sincere Romanist, born in this 
 country of Irish parents; but she was not an ordi- 
 
 li 
 
 v: 
 
'( 
 
 i 
 
 i! 
 
 20 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 nary servant girl. Her father, once a wealthy 
 merchant, had spared no pains nor expense in 
 her domestic and general education. But bank- 
 ruptcy had brought the family to want. Being 
 naturally of an independent and somewhat pecu- 
 liar disposition, she had strangely chosen her 
 portion in household duties. Her contact, for a 
 few months, with the general class of kitchen- 
 maids, had given her their characteristic and 
 distinctive dialect and manners. This, however, 
 was only when she seemed to forget herself ; for 
 she was capable of filling the place of a cultured 
 lady. Though but a short time in our family, 
 we had all become much attached to her and she 
 to us. 
 
 This proposition just suited Luella, and away 
 she glided like a bird. 
 
 G%:is>-crz 
 
 ^ 
 
II. 
 
 First Skanck — Sincerity — Sunday-Schools — Satih- 
 FiEP AND Not Satisfied — Charity and Unity. 
 
 And HOW abidoth faith, hope, ohurity, these three ; hut the jjreatest of 
 
 these is chanty --Paul. 
 
 aunt. 
 
 T did not take Luella lonjx to inform the 
 family of the interesting juncture of 
 attairs in the study, and soon I heard the 
 rapid footfalls of the children on the 
 stairs, followed by the mother and the 
 Meanwhile I had brought in chairs from 
 the adjoining rooms to accommodate them all, 
 and presently the place became the scene of life 
 and interest. Even the hahy seemed to enjoy 
 it greatly. 
 
 In a few words the object of our interview 
 was explained, and then I suggested that in ac- 
 cordance with my usual custom, taken from that 
 of the Christians of old, we ought to begin this 
 interesting subject with religious devotions ; for 
 St. Paul writes to Timothy, " I exhort, therefore, 
 that ^rs^ of alt, supplications, prayers, interces- 
 
.1 
 
 v. 
 
 i ! 
 
 IM i 
 ( 
 
 I I 
 
 i ' ■'' 
 
 22 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 sions, and giving of thanks be made/or all men. 
 Wc then knelt together, and repeated slowly 
 and solemnly, in concert, the prayer of prayers, 
 namely, " Our Father, which art in heaven, hal- 
 lowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy 
 will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us 
 this day our daily bread. And forgive us our 
 trespasses as we forgive them that trespass 
 against us. And lead us not into temptation, 
 but deliver us from evil. For thine is the king- 
 dom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. 
 Amen." 
 
 On resuming our seats, Mary remarked, 
 " Why, father, this is what we say together 
 every morning at the time of prayers." 
 
 " Yes, my dear ; it is the Lord's prayer, and it 
 is in the spirit of this prayer that we must feel 
 and act through all the day and in all things ; 
 and we have said it now that we may be espe- 
 cially guided by the Lord in what we are about 
 to say. j 
 
 Then addressing myself to the whole com- 
 pany, I remarked, that as certain classes even of 
 heathens were accustomed to take their children 
 out immediately after birth, and turn their faces 
 toward the open sky, that their first impressions 
 might be of heaven and of grandeur, so I desired 
 that my children in their earliest years should 
 be taught God's holy, saving truth, that they 
 
FIRST SEANCE. 
 
 might learn to think and feel properly toward 
 all mankind, and act accordingly. Indeed, the 
 great Teacher said, that the duty of every Chris- 
 tian is comprehended in these two command- 
 ments, " Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with 
 all thy heart, and thy neighbour as thyself." 
 
 " Now," I continued, " I am aware that it is 
 very natural, that two religious sects as distinct 
 as are Romanists and Protestants in their man- 
 ner of life and modes of worship should misun- 
 derstand each other, especially when a long his- 
 tory of antagonisms, sometimes more or less 
 bloody, urges them to further animosities. But 
 while their views on certain controverted sub- 
 jects are diametrically opposed, there are many 
 others in which they perfectly agree — and these 
 are vital subjects — though other matters of dif- 
 ference lie within debatable ground, and yet are 
 such as they might be made to agree in by rea- 
 soning together. You will probably understand 
 me better when I bring before you some of these 
 latter subjects. For instance, it is no uii-'immon 
 thing to hear a Protestant charging a Romanist 
 with being insincere in his profession of what 
 he calls ' his faith.' " 
 
 " Insincere ! " almost shouted two or three 
 voices. 
 
 " How can they be sincere," inquired Luella, 
 ^'and believe such things as are generally re- 
 
SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 ported of them, and even affirmed in their 
 own books ? " 
 
 " Now, now, children ; this is very much like 
 what I feared of you. You have not received 
 this spirit from me, however ; and I am glad of 
 the opportunity of removing this prejudice and, 
 I suspect, other similar ones, from your minds. 
 I assure you that no class of people are more sin- 
 cere in their beliefs. The facts which I can ad- 
 duce to establish the truthfulness of this state- 
 ment are very numerous. Look first at the de- 
 votion of Romish parents in teaching their chil- 
 dren the doctrines and practices of the ' Holy 
 Mother Church,' as thev call her. No sect, 
 either religious or otherwise, takes more pains 
 to indoctrinate the young. Their children, gene- 
 rally when only a few days old, are taken to 
 their churches and baptized. They are then 
 considered mer^bers of the Church. As soon as 
 they are able to speak, they are taught to repeat 
 the prayers of the Church and the Catechism, 
 which contains their doctrines. This is done 
 with untiring industry and generally w^ith great 
 solemnity. When they are sufficiently gron^n 
 up they i\re sent to the schools of the Church, 
 which are always in the hands of nuns or * sis- 
 ters,' or of others who devote all their time and 
 energy to this work." 
 
 " But would you recommend these schools or 
 
SINCERITY. 
 
 25 
 
 in their 
 
 uch like 
 received 
 glad of 
 ice and, 
 minds. 
 07'e sin- 
 ;an ad- 
 s state- 
 the de- 
 ir chil- 
 'Holy 
 ) sect, 
 pains 
 gene- 
 en to 
 then 
 on as 
 epeat 
 lisni, 
 done 
 great 
 own 
 urch, 
 sis- 
 and 
 
 s or 
 
 'M 
 
 convents as proper places to send our children 
 for instruction ?" asked Mrs. Beaudry, with con- 
 siderable feeling. 
 
 " I have not said anything of the kind ; nor 
 have I time now to say just what I think about 
 these institutions; but at the same time I am con- 
 vinced that by these and other means Romanism 
 is doing vastly more for her chiMren in her way 
 than is Protestantism." 
 
 " Indeed, father," said Johnnie, his dark eye 
 flashing with emotion, " and were you not a Pro- 
 testant when you had us baptized ? and are you 
 not constantly teaching us in the Sunday-school 
 and at home the Catechism and the Discipline 
 of our Church ? " 
 
 '' Certainly ; but this practice is not as general 
 among Protestants as among Romanists." 
 
 " But are not our Sunday-schools doing as 
 much for us as Roman Catholics are doinjx for 
 their children I " 
 
 " Only in part, my child ; and yet many pa- 
 rents among us leave the religious training of 
 their children wholly to the Sunday-school. But 
 you must remember that the family circle is be- 
 fore the Sunday-school, not only in point of 
 time, but also of importance. The parent is the 
 child's first and most influential teacher. You 
 ought to know what a little boy once said when 
 

 11 ' < 
 
 i. ' 
 
 iiii 
 
 V<\ 1 
 
 \. 
 
 U 
 
 SPIRIT VAL ST BUGGIES. 
 
 some one was contradicting him about a certain 
 doctrine." 
 
 " What was it ? " Johnnie quickly asked. 
 
 " O, simply this ; he clinched his argument by 
 saying, * It's true, for ma says so ; and if ma says 
 so, it's so if it aint so.' Now, this labour of 
 Romish parents for their children proves their 
 sincerity." 
 
 " I see the point and acknowledge the force of 
 the argument," said Luella, " and I see it is doing 
 us good to reason thus together." 
 
 " Let us reason, then, a little farther. Wit- 
 ness the fidelity of Row(tnists to the routes and 
 devotions of their Church. They fast often and 
 much. They keep every year a forty days' 
 Lent, in imitation, as they say, of Christ's forty 
 days' fast in the wilderness of Judea, and in 
 commemoration of his passion ; and because the 
 Church ordains it, they abstain from all ' flesh 
 meats ' on Fridays — it used to be on Fridays 
 and Saturdays also." 
 
 " Well, this is not a little curious," invtiiiapt- 
 <3d Aunt Melie, " that such an ordinanc .vas 
 ever altered in a Church which professes to never 
 change." 
 
 " That makes me think," added Luella, " of 
 their Church motto, which I read in one of their 
 books. It is ' temper eadeni,' which means, as I 
 found by my Latin lexicon, * Always the same.*" 
 
 I 
 
■I? 
 
 certain 
 
 I 
 
 4# 
 
 SINCERITY. 
 
 27 
 
 ?d :^^ 
 
 lent by | 
 
 na says | 
 Dour of 1 
 
 Bs their 1 
 
 :orce of | 
 
 s doing 1 
 
 
 es atic? 1 
 
 en and | 
 
 ' days' 1 
 ; forty 1 
 and in f 
 
 ise the J 
 
 ' flesh || 
 
 ridays | 
 
 rapt- A 
 
 :' was (: 
 
 never 
 
 a, " of ^ 
 
 their m 
 
 s,as I M 
 
 .me. 
 
 >» 
 
 *' I am glad to see that you remember so well 
 what you read, and that you are learning your 
 Latin lessons so thoroughly; but I have not time 
 now to explain these changes to you, for I fear 
 we shall lose the thread of my argument. I 
 must continue to give you the proofs of their 
 sincerity. See hotu strid they are in attending 
 the services of their Church. On the Sabbath 
 they are up early and away to church, though 
 many of them have much to do and far to go, 
 and you can hear the tramj)ing of their feet on 
 the walks while most other people are asleep in 
 their beds. Their churches are crowded at near- 
 ly every service, and a marked degree of devo- 
 tion is observable in most of the worshippers. I 
 well remember when myself, with my brothers 
 and other Romish friends of the neighbourhood 
 used to go to chui'ch nine miles afoot, through 
 mud and dust, because we felt that it was our 
 duty. Was that no sign of sincerity ? We cer- 
 tainly showed our faith by our works." 
 
 " Surely," responded Mrs. Beaudry, " such ex- 
 amples of devotion ought to put to shame the 
 many delinquents in our different Protestant 
 denominations, and should provoke them to love 
 and to good works." 
 
 " But are they not thus attentive to external 
 duties," asked Aunt Melie, " because they are 
 
 
! ! 
 
 i^l( 
 
 i*^' 
 
 < 
 
 Ki 
 
 28 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 taught to expect the salvation of their souls 
 through such means ? " 
 
 " You must judge lo^ yourself when I have 
 presented to you other facts hearing upon this 
 subject. But I have not finished my argument 
 in vindication of their sincerity. I wish to give 
 you at least another illustration of it. It is 
 found in their atUickment to the Church, of their 
 fathers. When I was nineteen years of age, just 
 before the event of n;y first going to a Sunday- 
 school — a matter referred to in Luella's introduc- 
 tory question to me to-day — had any man step- 
 ped up to me, and, presenting a pistol to my 
 head, said, ' You must be a Protestant now or I 
 will take your life,' T would have replied with- 
 out any hesitation or evasion whatever, ' Take 
 my life, sir, but my integrity never.' Martyr- 
 dom would have been cheerfully accepted rather 
 than separation from the Church. And thou- 
 sands of Komanists, I am sure, feel just as I did 
 then." 
 
 " I see clearly that you were more to be pitied 
 than blamed," said Johnnie ; adding with em- 
 phasis, " and I'm sure we will never charge Ro- 
 man Catholics again with the sin of insincerity." 
 
 " But may not this attachment to the Church, 
 which is generally commendable, go so far, at 
 times at least, as to become sinful and hurtful ?'' 
 asked Mrs. Beaudry. 
 
SINCERITY. 
 
 29 
 
 jir souls 
 
 I have 
 )on this 
 gument 
 to give 
 . It is 
 of their 
 igejust 
 junday- 
 itroduc- 
 m step- 
 to my 
 )W or I 
 1 with- 
 , ' Take 
 lartyr- 
 rather 
 thou- 
 s I did 
 
 pitied 
 h eiu- 
 l^e Ro- 
 erity." 
 hureh, 
 far, at 
 tful r 
 
 
 
 " Undoubtedly ; for men may be sincere in an 
 error, and we ought to prefer truth before party 
 or sect, and be attached to a Church only so far 
 as it teaches and practises the truth as it is in 
 Jesus. The great Apostle Paul wrote to his 
 Corinthian brethren, ' Be ye followers of me, 
 even as I also am of Christ,' showing that he 
 was to be followed only as he followed Christ, 
 and not otherwise. But then the masses of the 
 people have very little inclination — if, indeed, 
 they are not wanting in time and ability — to 
 search out the truth for themselves, and they 
 therefore become as strongly attached to what 
 tliey are told is truth, as the truly studious do to 
 the truth itself. And you may be sure that no 
 external or physical force will ever change their 
 belief or convert their souls. ' Faith coineth by 
 hearing, and hearing by the word of God.' " 
 
 " The fault, then must be in their priests," 
 said Aunt Melie ; " and, judging them by a sam- 
 ple which came under my own observation once, 
 I have always believed the7n insincere and hypo- 
 critical." 
 
 "That is undoubtedly true of some of them, 
 but I will show you that it is not true of all. 
 Your suspicions will fall to the ground when I 
 produce even but a few facts of history. Their 
 extensive missionar}- labours alone refute the 
 charge. Look, too, at their great Church enter- 
 
 w 
 
hi " 
 
 ii 
 
 '.i . 
 
 il 
 
 n ! 
 
 II .'■ 
 
 30 
 
 SPIRITUAL STEUGOLES. 
 
 prises ; their laborious and successful education- 
 al efforts — successful, at least, from their own 
 point of view — and their vast charitable institu- 
 tions for the aged, the vagrant, the orphan, and 
 the poor." 
 
 " But does uot their system of religion pro- 
 duce, at least in part, the poverty and wretched- 
 ness which these institutions are designed to 
 relieve ? Is not this, to use an old proverb, 
 ' robbing Peter to pay Paul ? ' " 
 
 " That may all be true ; and yet it does not 
 disprove their sincerity, for many of them have 
 suffered even martyrdom for their faith." 
 
 " I cannot yet see how this can be," she con- 
 tinued. 
 
 " You will have no difficulty in seeing it when 
 you trace out the leading facts of their educa- 
 tion and training from childhood to priesthood. 
 They are first consecrated to this one object of 
 life ; then nurtured in the teachings and discip- 
 line of the Church ; put into the schools under 
 the absolute control of the * brothers ' and * fa- 
 thers;' kept from all contact with the active 
 outside world ; forbidden to study, or even read, 
 any book which could possibly prejudice their 
 lainds against the Church or any of her inter- 
 pretations, as you can see by consulting the 
 Index Libror^im Prohibitorum et Expurgan- 
 dorum" 
 
SINCERITY. 
 
 31 
 
 " 0, what do you mean by these long words ? " 
 inquired Johnnie 
 
 Takinf? down my large Webster's Dictionary, 
 and handing it to Luella, I told her to look for 
 the word " Index," under which she read as fol- 
 lows : " In the Roman Catholic Church the In- 
 dex Prohibitory is a catalogue of books which 
 are forbidden to be read ; the Index Expurga- 
 tory is a catalogue specifying passages in books 
 which are to he expunged or altered. These 
 catalogues are published, with additions, from 
 time to time, under the sanction of the Pope." 
 
 Returning the Dictionary to the table, I re- 
 marked, " The spirit which animates their edu- 
 cation and controls it may be seen in ?.a address 
 recently made by the Roman Pontiff himself to 
 the students of one of the papal colleges. Here 
 is one of the emphatic sentences : ' Let us hasten 
 to cultivate sanctity of life by attending to 
 studies, by obedience to superiors, by frequent- 
 ing the sacraments, and by not disturbing our- 
 selves with what occurs in the world ; by never 
 having in our hand any daily newspaper, but 
 especially those journals verily issuing from the 
 depths of hell, which if one shall take in his 
 hand he will be guilty of a grievous fault.' " 
 
 " Is this the way these clerical students are in- 
 structed ? Now," continued Aunt Melie, " I am 
 
S2 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 11 ! 
 
 .1 I , 
 
 I! 
 
 ^i 
 
 1 i 
 
 satisfied that I was wrong in suspecting them, 
 as a class, of insincerity." 
 
 " Yes, indeed ; and finally, endowed with holy 
 orders from the authorities of the college at May- 
 nooth, Ireland, or of some other approved in- 
 stitute or university, they come forth fully be- 
 lieving themselves to be in the sacred succession 
 of the apostles of our Lord, with ' the keys of the 
 kingdom of heaven ' in their hands, so that 
 ' whatsoever th(;y shall bind on earth shall be 
 bound in heaven, and whatsoever they shall 
 loose on earth shall be loosed in heavon.' I 
 have been personally acquainted with several 
 priests 1both in Canada and in the United States, 
 and I am satisfied that many of them are quite 
 sincere. 
 
 " Their sincerity is further seen in their almost 
 constant practice of devotions, in observing what 
 is called the ' Church Ofiice,' which is a form of 
 prayer consisting of psalms, lessons, hymns, &c., 
 used by all the clergy, and by the religious of 
 both sexes in the Romish Church. This Office is 
 divided into seven parts, commonly called the 
 ' Seven Canonical Hours,' commencing with the 
 matins, or midnight office, and ending with the 
 compline, at the close of day." 
 
 * Is this what the priests and nuns are busy 
 with," asked Luella, " when we see them on the 
 boats or in the cars^ for their lips are almost 
 
ABSOLUTION. 
 
 :^:^ 
 
 constantly in motion, as though ^hey were try- 
 ing to whisper something, or tliey are reading 
 from a little book which 1 think I have heard 
 you call a * breviary,' or prayer-book." 
 
 " That's it exactly. These <levotions consume 
 a large portion of the <lay." 
 
 " But, Louis," asked Mrs. Beaudry, " do you 
 really believe that they are sincere when they 
 ask and receive money of their people for the 
 pardon of their sins ? " 
 
 " It is not true — as it seems to me 1 must 
 have told you before this time — that they do 
 any such thing, at least in this country. It does 
 appear, from certain writers, that it must have 
 been true in other countries and other ages ; but 
 of this I am sure, that no money wa ever asked 
 of me by any priest in the confessional, though 
 I have often been there and was never refused 
 ' absolution.' In case the priest does not know 
 the penitent who presents himself for confession, 
 he incpiires whether he contributes anything to- 
 ward the support of the Church. If the indivi- 
 dual has failed to do so in the past, and refuses 
 to pledge himself to do so in the future, the priest 
 refuses to hear his confession, and he is justly 
 regarded as unworthy of any of the privileges 
 of'^the Church." 
 
 " But how is it that Romish servants, just be- 
 fore going to their church, want so much money, 
 
 I 
 
! ' 
 
 
 34 
 
 SPIRITUAL STBUGGLES. 
 
 I ! i 
 i I' 
 ili 
 
 II' 
 
 i .i! 
 
 as you know Nora does nearly every Sab- 
 batli ^ " 
 
 ** I am aware tliat this might give rise to the 
 suspicion that money is used in the confessional, 
 for, in order to secure it, some servants present 
 this as their plea. But you must consider that 
 the priests make other demands upon their peo- 
 ple. Think of the vast and costly edifices they 
 erect, always in the most conspicuous and expen- 
 sive localities, and often, too, in communities 
 where they have very few, if any, wealthy com- 
 municants. Whenever the priests call on them 
 for contributions for a private or public enter- 
 prise, Roman Catholics, rich and poor, pour out 
 their money like water. I have known families 
 who, by contributing as they were urged by 
 their spiritual guides, have reduced themselves to 
 such destitution as to be compelled to seek aid 
 from the town or county where they resided. 
 Napoleon Roussel has styled theirs the ' religion 
 of money.' It is undeniably true in more re- 
 spects than one ; but they do not pay money for 
 the pardon of sins, as you have thought." 
 
 " But does not their doctrine of Purgatory in- 
 volve principles which have led us and many 
 others into this belief ? " Mrs. Beaudry asked. 
 
 " Very likel3^ Concerning this doctrine, how- 
 ever, I expect to tell you by-and-by more than I 
 have time to say to you now." 
 
 
OF PUL'GATORY. 
 
 35 
 
 Then taking from the table a little hook, en- 
 titled " Grounds of the Roman (catholic Doctrine, 
 contained in the Profession of Faith," published 
 by Pope Pius IV., I turned to page 4(1, and read : 
 " Of Purgidory. — What is the doctrine of ti^e 
 Church as to this point ?" 
 
 " Answer. We constantly liold that there is a 
 purgatory, and tliat the souls therein detained 
 are lielped by the sufi'rages of the faithful : that 
 is, by the prayers and alms offered for them, and 
 principally by the holy sacrifice of the Mass." 
 
 " We are further told," I continued," that the 
 prayers of the priest must be obtained in addi- 
 tion to those of the people, for which he must 
 be paid money, as also for the saying of masses, 
 and that thereby the sins of the souls in purga- 
 tory are remitted unto them. From these pre- 
 mises many have reasoned as follows : ' Now, if 
 the priest is paid money to secure the pardon of 
 sins in purgatory, does it not follow that he is 
 also paid for the pardon of sins in the confes- 
 sional I ' Every one must admit that your rea- 
 soning is perfectly logical, and these facts shield 
 you from the charge of having accused the 
 Romanists without cause. The same process of 
 reasoning may be applied w^ith equal force to the 
 doctrine of indulgences." 
 
 " Really, father/' asked Luella, " do you think 
 you can name any more points in which Protest- 
 
i. ' 
 
 1 I 
 
 m; 
 
 lilii 
 
 I'll 
 
 \<\\ 
 
 
 m 
 
 86 
 
 SPJJUTUAL STIiUGGJ. HS. 
 
 ants, and even your own family, liav(! erroneous- 
 ly charged the Roman (catholics V 
 
 " Yes, my child ; here is one : 1 have sometimes 
 hei«.rd Protestants say that Roman ( 'atholie theo- 
 logy or teacluTig is wholly heterodox, or i'alsc. 
 This l)ook, called ' Grounds,' etc., irom which I 
 just read, will repel this change," After readin«4,- 
 a few pages I said, " Now you see that every es- 
 sential doctrine taught in the Pre testant Churches 
 is also taught in the Romish (.'hurches. The 
 Apostles' Creed, which is really an e})itonu^ of 
 the Gospels, is repeated and helieved in all 
 Churches, both Roman Catholic and Prot(;stant, 
 throughout the world, witho' varying even a 
 word or syllable. The Lord'. yer — and what 
 prayer is better entitled to universal usage, l)eing 
 the only prayer our blessed Saviour ever taught 
 to his disciples, an epitome of prayers ? — is daily 
 repeated in nearly all the languages of the world, 
 and by all professed Christians. If Romanists 
 would only stop here, and not try to add to that 
 which is divinely perfect, all cur religious dif- 
 ferences would at once vanish. I am free, how- 
 ever, to say that there is enough good and sound 
 doctrine in the Roman Catholic Church, if pro- 
 perly applied; to save the w^orld." 
 
 " Do you mean to say, father," asked Johnnie 
 quite excitedly, " that any Papists are saved ? " 
 
 " Most certainly. I believe that soine in that 
 
SATTSFTI'D AND NOT SATISFIED. 
 
 .S7 
 
 roiu'oiis- 
 
 CJliurcli, like- Mtulanie (luyon ami Bishop Vvn4- 
 lon — nraspinii" the savin<j^ trutli which they liavt; 
 Ik'cu taught, ant-l assisted l)y the Holy Spirit, 
 wlio, like th'^ pure sunli<^^ht which HocmIs the 
 earth this afternoon, is difi'iised throughout the 
 worhl — enjoy naich of the favour of God, walk 
 in all the ll<j,ht they liave, to the full measure of 
 their responsihilities, and rejoice in hope of 
 heaven." 
 
 " Hut I am convinced," added Aunt Melie, 
 " that while this nunj be the happy experience 
 of some, the masses are entangled in the meshes 
 of error, sink the spirit and power of true reli- 
 gion in the mere ceremony and outward form, 
 and follow the commandments and traditions of 
 men rather than the word of God." 
 
 " But do you think these Roman Catholics are 
 really satisfied with their religion ? " inquired 
 Johnnie. 
 
 " They are, and yet they are not." 
 
 " Why, your answer is something of a riddle." 
 
 " Then let me explain it. They believe and 
 profess that they have true faith, and are in the 
 true Church. This is a conviction of the intel- 
 lect, and comes from human teaching — from their 
 parents and priests. With this the majoilty of 
 them are satisfied. But when they look at 
 their moral state ; when they search for t\at 
 kingdom of heaven which our blessed Saviour 
 
I 
 
 ii !l 
 
 .38 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 says ' is within us,' and which the Apostle Paul 
 describes as being 'not meat and drink, hut 
 righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy 
 Ghost,' they are not satisfied witli their condi- 
 tion, and, like the poet, they sigh, — 
 
 " ' Break oft' the yoke of inljred sin, 
 And fnlly set my spirit free ; 
 I cannot rest till pure within — 
 Till I am wholly lost in thee. ' 
 
 B'.it this rest for which the spirit pants is a 
 matter of moral consciousness, and can be ob- 
 tained or wrought witliin only through the 
 agency of the Holy Spirit, who is freely given to 
 us in the redemption of Jesus Christ." 
 
 " This reminds me," said Johnnie, " of the pre- 
 cious words of Jesus himself, ' Come unto me, 
 all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and / 
 luill give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, 
 and learn of me, for I am meek and lowh^ in 
 heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 
 
 " O, father, Jesus said," quickly added Mary, 
 " Suffer the little children to come unto me, and 
 forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of 
 God.' " 
 
 While they were repeating these beautiful 
 passages, Luella was gazing apon the smooth 
 surface of the river, and, when they ceased, she 
 exclaimed with animation, — 
 
 " See there ! I'm sure that's a good emblem of 
 
CHABITY AND UNITY. 
 
 this soul-rest. ! " Then turning to me, with her 
 hand upon her breast, she continued, " And 
 what is best of all, dear father, I feel it here, to- 
 day, in my heart." 
 
 " I perceive," I said with emotion, " that we 
 have gained something, both intellectually and 
 spiritually, by our reasoning together. O, would 
 that all men might not only reason with one 
 another, but also with God, in the blessed 
 assurance which the prophet gives, that though 
 tlieir ' sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white 
 as snow ; though they be red like crimson, they 
 shall be as wool.' " 
 
 As the last of these precious words fell from 
 my lips, the clock below struck seven. How 
 short the time had been ! Every one was sorry 
 that we were compelled to close our interview so 
 soon. Preparation had now to be made for the 
 evening service at the church. 
 
 "Next Sabbath," said I, "the Lord willing, 
 we will meet again, and I will tell you some 
 incidents of my childhood. But before we 
 part, let us sing these beautiful words : — 
 
 '* ' Sweetly may we all agree, 
 
 Touched with softest sympathy ; 
 
 Kindly for each otlier care ; ^ 
 
 Every member feel its share. 
 
 Many are we now and one, 
 
 We who Jesus have put on : 
 
 Ndiiies, and seda, and parti'sfall : 
 
 Thou, Christ, art all in all,' " . 
 
!h 
 
 
 I; 
 
 I 
 
 
 "M 
 
 r i: 
 
 ! 1 ''I! 
 
 Illll I ' 
 
 ■ i 'J 
 
 
 III. 
 
 My Childhood — Anc?]Stors — Evangp^line of Acadia 
 — Early Lessons, Good and Bad — Protestants — 
 Puzzled — Priests and Play — Sunday Desecration. 
 
 " Wlien I was a cliild, I spake as a child, F understood as a cliild, I 
 thought as a cliild ; but when I became a man, I put away childish tilings,'' 
 —Paul. 
 
 IJbTIHE week had passed away but too 
 tardily, as the children thc^^ght, in their 
 great anxiety to hear my story. Many 
 '^W^'^ times Mary, in her childish way, had 
 T^>^? inquired : " Father, when will it be 
 Sunday afternoon again?" To me the time had 
 been sufficiently brief, being filled up with the 
 many calls and duties of an extensive parish. 
 
 The holy Sabbath came at length, but clouds 
 obscured the sky and threatened rain, which 
 indeed began to fall just before the afternoon 
 session of the Sunday-school. Consequently 
 the attendance was not quite as large nor the 
 exercises so long as usual. This enabicd our 
 family group to assemble in the study a few 
 minutes earlier than on the Sabbath previous. 
 

 CHILDHOOD AND ITS LESSONS. 
 
 41 
 
 The scene witliont was greatly changed, but 
 witliin all was animation and delight. Some 
 one remarked that the elm looked rather tearful 
 out there in the drenchino' rain, and that the 
 heavens showed trouble as they groaned with 
 mutterinix thunders and o-Iowed with occasional 
 lio-htnino". 
 
 " But," interrupted Johnnie, " as much as I 
 love to study the trees and flowers, I am more 
 interested just now in father's story, and I pro- 
 pose that we sit still and let him go on." Then 
 turning to me, he continued, " Father, you 
 remember that last Sabbath you corrected us in 
 our false ideas of Koman (Catholics, for which I 
 am glad, for I know that it has made me a 
 better boy all the week, especially when I have 
 been playing with Romish boys or talking with 
 Nora in the kitchen. Now it seems to me, that, 
 as you know both sides of this question, you 
 ought to present here, and, if possible, show how 
 to remove, the false views which they undoubt- 
 edly entertain toward Protestants. I am (piite 
 sure that Nora said several things to me about 
 Protestants concerning which she must be 
 mistaken." 
 
 " This is just the subject which I intend to 
 present, my son ; and it will fully appear as 
 I proceed witii my narrative, as you will 
 presently see." 
 
"ij 
 
 ( 
 
 ih 
 
 r 
 
 
 !1 
 
 m 
 
 
 iiii' 
 
 I' 
 
 
 i rli 
 
 #2 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " That's right, father ; give us the story any- 
 way," said Mary, and she came up to me and 
 leaned on the arm of my chair. 
 
 " I'll begin now, then, if you'll give attention. 
 
 " I was born in the town of Highgate, Frank- 
 lin County, Vermont, August 11th, 1833, about 
 one mile from Saxe's Mills. My parents were 
 French, as you see by our name, and the French 
 language was the first I ever spoke. One 
 branch of the family was descended from a 
 long line of warriors, which can be traced back- 
 ward to the belligerent Franks of ancient Gaul. 
 In modern times they fought in this country at 
 Ticonderoga and Quebec, under the brave Mont- 
 calm, during what is known in American history 
 as the French and Indian War. The other 
 branch, on my mother's side, whose name was 
 Marie Bail de Printemps, presents an almost 
 uninterrupted succession of Roman Catholic 
 religionists. Her grandmother was a fellow- 
 sufferer of * Evangeline,' the heroine of one of 
 Longfellow's most beautiful poems, in which may 
 be found a picture of the ardent, simple, 
 religious spirit, and of the sufferings of those 
 eighteen thousand Acadians who were driven 
 from their loved country over the entire 
 continent." 
 
 " But did you always live in Vermont ? " asked 
 Luella. 
 
JUST ESCAPED. 
 
 4:^ 
 
 " When I was five years old my parents 
 returned to Lower Canada, their native province, 
 and settled in the town of Henryville, near 
 Lake Chaniplain. After about six years' residence 
 there, we again removed into my beloved Green 
 Mountain State, and two years afterward to 
 Tieonderoga, New York, where we remained 
 several years. When I was about seven years 
 of awe I came near beino- drowned in the South 
 River." 
 
 " What, father ! " cried Johnnie, "just as I did 
 some time ago in Kinderhook Creek ? " 
 
 " Much like it, for I was barely saved from a 
 watery grave." 
 
 " How good the Lord has been to us all ! " 
 exclaimed Luella. " Doubtless he has preserved 
 our lives for some good purpose." 
 
 " I trust that none of us," I added, " will in 
 anywise frustrate his designs ; but that, as the 
 poet Cowper has written, we may realize that 
 
 though 
 
 Tlic bud may have a bitter taste, 
 Sweet will be the Mower.' 
 
 But I must continue my narrative. My mother 
 was one of the most earnest and devoted 
 Romanists I ever knew. Every memV)er of her 
 numerous family of fifteen — nine sons and six 
 daughters — was baptized in early lihildhood. I 
 was taken to the town of St. Mary, Province of 
 
il 
 
 111' : 
 
 li) 
 
 !.l 
 
 
 11 
 
 lA 
 
 m- 
 
 44 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 Quebec, a great many miles from home, to be 
 baptized. Every one of us was thorouii^hly 
 trained in the teachings of the Church. I was 
 taught many good lessons which I have never 
 forgotten nor rejected, and for wlr'^.h I am truly 
 grateful. The following were the leading princi- 
 ples inculcated — namely, that reJhjlon Is a 
 subject of supreme miportdnce ; that on awak- 
 ing every morning I should say, ' My (xod, T 
 give thee my heart ; ' that after dressing myself 
 E should kne(d down and offer my morning 
 prayer ; tliat 1 should partake of my meals 
 with sobriety and temperance, and not without 
 asking God's blessing upon them ; that I should 
 attend public religious services every day, if 
 possible, and apply myself faithfully to my 
 vocation in life, or daily lal)our ; that I should 
 assist the poor according to my means, and that 
 every night I should examine my conscience 
 and offer my evening prayer." 
 
 " Surely," said Luella, *' this is just as good 
 instruction as any child need receive, and all of 
 it, I think, is perfectly scriptural." 
 
 "That is just the reason I continue to practise 
 these things, and desire to do so till the day of 
 my death. But while I was schooled in these 
 wholesome Christian truths, I was also taught 
 to hate and shun Protestants. More stress was 
 laid upon this branch of my education — no 
 
 f'v I II Jii 
 
ST h' ON a FEELll^'G AND EXPRESSION. 4.") 
 
 doubt because there were so many Protestants 
 around us. J saw also that tliey were not 
 permitted to be buried in our cemeteries. In 
 my early childhood, whenever I heard the sound 
 of a Protestant bell a holy horror seemed to till 
 my soul, and 1 could have leaped for joy at 
 seeing every Protestant church around us in 
 flames." 
 
 " (>, how wicked it was to feel like that I " 
 exclaimed Johnnie, with sadness in his coun- 
 tenance. 
 
 " 1 know it now, but 1 did not think so then. 
 You remend)er that Jesus went so far as to say 
 to his disciples, ' The time cometh that who- 
 soever killeth you will think that he doeth God 
 service." 
 
 "But i/oa didn't feel like that — did you, 
 father ? for then you would have been a 
 murderer." 
 
 " 1 was not very far from feeling so, 1 am 
 ashamed to confess. But it is no wonder, for 1 
 was told that Protestantism is not onl}'' a denial 
 and j-ejection of all spiritual religion, but a 
 virtual crusade against it, and that inasmuch 
 as the Romish Church is the only true one, who- 
 ever rejects it rejects God and his Christ, and 
 must be regarded as ' a heathen man and a 
 publican.' This is an opinion entertained by all 
 rigid Roman Catholics." 
 
 f 
 t 
 
■;!i 
 
 
 I' ( 
 
 ! U 
 
 i I 
 
 46 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 *' O, I think it was this that Nora tried to tell 
 me the other day," addevi Johnnie. 
 
 " My father used to say derisively that his old 
 brindled ox was more pious than a Protestant, 
 because the beast would always Imeel before 
 he lay down, which was much more than a 
 Protestant would do." 
 
 " Is it possible that grandfather would talk in 
 that way ? " exclaimed Luella in surprise. 
 
 " That may be true of a vast body of Protest- 
 ants who make no profession of personal or 
 experimental religion," said Aunt Melie. " I 
 now see what terrible responsibility rests upon 
 them in this matter. They are really the great 
 stumbling-blr in the way of the Gospel. But 
 then it is a px.^ ohat your father had not fallen 
 among a better class of Protestants." 
 
 ** O, this view of the subject was drawn from 
 his reliy-ious traininof rather than from observa- 
 tion," I remarked in explanation. " All this 
 spite and ridicule is substantially taught in the 
 Church Catechism,* from which I will translate 
 a brief passage." 
 
 Turning to page 24, I read : — 
 
 " ' Are there many Catholic Churches ? ' 
 
 " * No, the only Catholic is the Roman Church, 
 out of which there is no salvation! 
 
 * (( 
 
 Petit Catecliisme du Diocese de Quebec." 
 
 n I 
 
PROTESTANT. 
 
 47 
 
 " 'What must we think of those other societies 
 which call themselves Churches, but do not 
 profess the same faith that we do, and ar>3 not 
 subject to the same pastors ? ' 
 
 " * They are humian institutions, which serve 
 only to lead men astray, and cannot bring them 
 to God.'" 
 
 Laying down the book, I continued : " The 
 commentary upon this passage — and no passage 
 was more thoroughly taught and enforced — was, 
 that Protestantism, referred to here,, protests 
 against Christ and his Church, against all law 
 and gospel. The v/ord Protestant itself was 
 made to mean all this. Therefore I was told 
 that it was a grievous sin, and almost a sacrilege, 
 to read a Protestant book, or to attend theii 
 meetings ; and that I must shun them as Eve 
 ought to have shunned the tempting serpent. 
 This question is thoroughly discussed in one of 
 the most popular books of instruction in the 
 Church, where may be found the following pas- 
 
 sage 
 
 .* 
 
 " ' What, if a person, through absolute neces- 
 sity of his unhp'^py circumstances, should be 
 tied to a place wh. re he can never hear mass; 
 do you think he might not then be allowed to 
 
 -M 
 
 *The Most Rev. Dr. 
 Instructed," pp. 92, 93. 
 
 Challouer's "Catholic Christian 
 
 m\ 
 
+.S 
 
 
 si'imruAL H'rnracLi'.s. 
 
 1 
 
 ii.i 
 
 i' 
 
 ! 
 
 lil 
 
 join in prayer witli tho.se of jiiiotlRT cuimiiu- 
 nion, l)y way of supplying- tliis defect :" ' 
 
 "'No, certainly. It is a niisfortuih', and a 
 ^^reat misfortune, to be kei)t, like David when he 
 was persecuted by Saul, at a <listance from the 
 temple [tabernacle] of (Jod, and its sacred mys- 
 teries ; but it would be a cr'rntc to join ones 
 self lipoihtl Kit accoavtivith on hn'cficid.oi-sc/ils- 
 itiotic CO II (J regal iun, mltose irors.'n'i) God rejects 
 as sacriltijious and iinploux' " 
 
 " (), now 1 see," cried Luella, "wliy you did 
 not attend our Sunday-schools wlieii a boy. You 
 certainly had a g-ood reason for it tlien." 
 
 " But this was not all J was taught. 1 was 
 also urged to do all in my power, making use of 
 every possible means, peacefully if 1 could, 
 forcefully if I must, to convert Protestants to 
 my faith, and thus aid in tlu; overthrow of the 
 most abominable and danmable heresy ever in- 
 troduced into our world. I was taught that as 
 Satan plotted and accomplished the fall of the 
 first man, so Protestantisui was a plotting to 
 overthrow the second Adam, e\en ("hrist. This 
 teaching was so often repeated, and with such 
 religious emphasis, that it became interwoven 
 into the very texture of my mental and moral 
 being, giving peculiar colouring and jjotency 
 to every thought and feeiing, and controlling 
 with more or less certainty all my actions. ' It 
 
PUZZLED. 
 
 49 
 
 is in tlio nature of man to l)e crodiiloiis,' savs an 
 eminent French author. ' Tliis credulity is ne- 
 ces.sary to our conservation and development 
 duriu!^- infancy. We then receive for true, with- 
 out examination, without study, opinions which 
 cast deep roots into our minds, and which, later 
 in life, rule us as with a tyrant's liand.' I have 
 found it even so in my own ex[ierience. 
 
 " However, as I grew up to the age when one 
 begins to observe the manners of mankind, 1 was 
 greatly puzzled to find that the morality of my 
 Protestant neighbours was far superior to wy 
 own and to that of my people. They excelled 
 us in acts of charity, were better educated, more 
 refined, industrious, and sober. what splen- 
 did Christians, I often thought — meaning, of 
 course, Roman Catholics — they would be if they 
 only possessed the light I felt sure I had, and 
 were members of the true Church like myself 1 " 
 
 " Little did you realize, even at that time," 
 said Aunt Melie, '' that the average morality of 
 Protestants in the United States — though it is 
 not by any means what it should be — who make 
 no pretensions to religion, to say nothing of those 
 who do, is superior to that of the Papists." 
 
 " But I was sure of this, that the morality of 
 Roman Catholics in this country reaches a stan- 
 dard of excellence unattained and unknown in 
 
 purely Roman Catholic countries." 
 4 
 
50 
 
 SPTRTTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 "Your tcalk," said Liiclla, " re-ininds mo of 
 some conversation I lieard in tlie street-cars a 
 few days aj^'o. One lady remarked to another, 
 * Have you obs 'rved the signs on tlie lager beer 
 and li((Uor sal./ons and other low groggeries. 
 which are so numerous in tins city ( ' Most cer- 
 tainly,' replied her friend ; ' and 1 notice that 
 nearly every one bears a foreign name, whicli 
 indicates the I'dUjlon to which the keeper pro- 
 bably belongs.' " 
 
 " And yet, Luella, just look a moment at the 
 lesson I received, in conmnon with all Romanists 
 of this country, on this subject. In a popular 
 prayer-book, which is used by nearly all the 
 people, being approved by Archbisho}) John 
 Huglies, of New Yc k, entitled * The Way to 
 Heaven/ we find the following instruction and 
 prayer on page 14 : — 
 
 "'By a r cript, dated 5th September, bS.")2, 
 our Holy Father, Pius IX., at the instance of 
 the National Council of Baltimore, sanctions by 
 the grant of indulgences the institution of a so- 
 ciety whose members shall especially pray for 
 the conversion of all who are out of the connnu- 
 nion of the Church in the United States.' 
 
 '"A plenary indulgence, on receiving the Easter 
 conn nun ion, to all the members who shall daily 
 recite, in any language, the following prayer: 
 " Almighty and eternal God, who savest all, and 
 
 3 
 
 E 
 
PUZZLED. 
 
 11 
 
 wilt liav'c! none to perisli, have reorard to those 
 souls who aru led astray hy the deceits of tlio 
 devil, that, rejecting all error, the liearts of those 
 who err may he converted, and may return to 
 the unity of the truth, through Christ our Lord, 
 A men." ' 
 
 " Now you see that not only is the prayer 
 taught, hut this work is considered hy the Pope 
 to ho of such importance, that the heavy pre- 
 mium of a plenary indulgence — the highest ever 
 granted — is offered to every true Romanist who 
 rep<'ats this hrief prayer." 
 
 While we were thus discoursing, Johnnie had 
 taken down tho files of our daily morning paper, 
 and, interrupting us, he said, " Well, here is more 
 light — perhaps you will say darkneHH — on the 
 suhject you ar'3 discussing. According to these 
 facts, I think thoy had hetter get up societies to 
 pray for the conversion of their own people. 
 Just hear me read the returns from our police 
 court." 
 
 He 'then read a lengthy list of arrests, pre- 
 senting an unbroken array of foreign names, and 
 remarked : — 
 
 " There, this is one day's courting dXouv police 
 head-quarters." Turning^ to another and another 
 aay's account he continued for some time read- 
 ing similar names in the same category, until 
 his mother interrupted him by saying, 
 
 n 
 
o:: 
 
 SPIEITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 i! 
 
 ! ;i 
 
 b 
 
 "That will do, I think, Johnnie ; for you mi^ht 
 read till night and there would be no relieving 
 of the dark picture. And it is all the darker 
 when we consider that these are the police re- 
 cords of a city many of whose police, and at least 
 one of its justices, are Roman Catholics." 
 
 " These names, though nearly all foreign, as is 
 evident," I remarked, " may not all be the 
 names of Romanists." ' 
 
 " Very true ; perhaps a few are not ; but as we 
 are not personally acquainted with those indivi- 
 duals," replied Mrs. Beaudry, I suppose we must 
 draw our conclusions, guided by the positive 
 knowledge we have of people in our own neigh- 
 bourhood, and by what we learn from the crimi- 
 Jial reports of the day — reports from peniten- 
 tiaries, jails, prisons, etc. These things are truly 
 ap])alling." 
 
 " My early difficulties with regard to morals, 
 however, were not as great as when I disco\k 
 ered that our Protestant neighbours were not 
 only so benevolent that Roman Catholic beggars 
 or paupers would go to them for alms rather than 
 to their wealthy co-religionists, or even to our 
 priests, who always lived in the midst of abund- 
 ance, but that these ' heretics,' as we called them, 
 were also strictly religious, Mingling among 
 them, as we were compelled to do, I found, to 
 my surprise, that many of them never partook 
 
 I 
 
STRIKING CONTRASTS. 
 
 53 
 
 of their meals without invoking' God's blessino- 
 upon themselves and the food before them. 
 Morning and evening their family circles joined 
 in reading the Bible, also in singing hynnis of 
 praise, and in prayer — a very pious practice, 
 which I seldom witnessed among Roman Catho- 
 lics. The hours of the Sabbath were observed 
 very sacredly, mostly in reading religious Viooks 
 and periodicals, and in attending public worship 
 in churches which T found in every village and 
 hamlet. The contrast between this state of 
 things in Vermont and the noise and dissipation 
 wliich marked the Sabbath in Lower Canada, 
 just across the line, made a deep impression on 
 my mind, especially as nothing but the different 
 religions taught in these places could adequately 
 account for these different results." 
 
 " Give us, please, some idea of the way people 
 kept the Sabbath in Canada," remarke<l Johnnie. 
 
 " The Sabbath there was a grand holiday. 
 Rum taverns and saloons — kept, in many in- 
 stances, by leading mend^ers of the Church — 
 were open all day long and thoroughly patron- 
 ized, except diiring the hours of mass (the morn- 
 ing servify.) ami vespers. Between these servic«\s, 
 in the park right in front of the church, men 
 and boys, and noi unfre([uently girls, all niem- 
 bers of the Church, played marl)les, tops, and 
 ball, while fine horses were paraded about the 
 
p^ 
 
 I ( 
 lii 1 
 
 ir 
 
 54 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 streets to advertise their beauty and speed. 
 You will scarcely believe nie when I toll you, 
 that an auctioneer by the name of Deiuers, him- 
 self a trustee of the church, whose .sons were my 
 school-mates, immediately after mass, mounted 
 a block erected for the purpose not more than 
 twenty feet from the church door, and, after 
 makinjjf several announcements of cattle straverl 
 away or articles found, etc., held an auction sale, 
 at least one day in the year, (>f gar<len seeds, 
 braids of tlax, skeins of thread or knittinij,- yarn, 
 vegetables, and live stock. The proceeds of the 
 sale were turned over to tlie priest for prayers 
 and masses for the dead. This was always pre- 
 ceded by a collection in church for the same 
 purpose. I have seen many a cacklimi' hen and 
 s<}uealing pig sold in that way." 
 
 "What! on the Sabbath:'" exclaimed John- 
 nie. 
 
 " If not on the Sabbath, it was on a ' holy day 
 of obligation,' which they consider as sacred, and 
 always after high mass. JUit you must remem- 
 ber that this was about thirty years ago, when 
 people in those parts were nuich more ignorant 
 than now. Those announcements from the 
 auction-block, made everv Sabbath, were the 
 only means people had of advertising, for there 
 were probably not a half-dozen newspapers 
 taken in the town ; and if a written notice hail 
 
CARDS AND DANCE. 
 
 .)o 
 
 been posted in a most conspicuous place in the 
 villa^as not more than one person out of a hun- 
 dred could have read it. Time, with increasing 
 liirht, has well-nifjh obliterated the traces ot 
 such disgraceful scenes in nearly all parts of 
 that land." 
 
 " But what were the private habits of the peo- 
 ple ? " asked Luella. 
 
 " Every house in the village had its pack of 
 cards, and card-playing and dancing, with more 
 or less liquor-drinking, were going on in every 
 direction." 
 
 " And did you play cards with the rest ? " she 
 inqui.t'd feelingly. 
 
 " I blush to confess it. 1 have often shudder- 
 ed when I have thought how near I came to a 
 gambler's life and a gambler's ruin. You will 
 not wonder, however, when I tell you how I was 
 taught and what examples were set before me. 
 My father took as nuich pains in teaching us the 
 fi<mr(' of the dance and the ujames at cards as 
 my moiiier did in teaching us to pray» How- 
 ever, she did not object to the fun herself, be- 
 cause this amusement was universal. And as 
 we kept a small bakery with a restaurant at- 
 tached — though we sold no li<{uor — this state 
 of things brought tts no small gain, espi'cially on 
 the Sabb^' *>ir revenu* was ixreatest in the 
 se«.son of appies, for then oui house would be 
 
r 
 
 1 
 
 !1 
 
 II 
 
 56 
 
 SPIBITVA I, STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 ,1 
 
 '■■ 
 
 1 
 
 
 [ 
 
 ll 
 
 
 
 1 
 
 
 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 
 
 lif 
 
 
 1 
 i 
 
 1 
 
 ! 
 
 1 
 
 crowded all day long with those who bought oiir 
 apples, and then gambled at cards, generally in 
 a game called Loo. As I was an expert at the 
 game, I would often win the customers' apples, 
 and keep them buying more. So this sort of 
 brigandage would go on throughout the blessed 
 day, from morning till late at night, except dur- 
 ing religious services, for these were always 
 strictly and devotionally attended at the sound 
 of the bell, and the greater our pleasures and sins 
 at home the more earnest would be our prayers 
 at church. And then after vespers, or after- 
 noon service of song, father and mother would 
 repair to the priest's house, or ' presbytery,' as it 
 was called, and spend the remainder of the day 
 in playing cards with the priest." 
 
 " Is it possible ? What ! with a priest pro- 
 fessing to be one of the apostles of our Lord 
 Jesus < lirist ^" ejaculated Luella. 
 
 " Yes, certainly ; and yet he was one of the 
 most d+^voted priests when performing the func- 
 tions of hi- sacerdotal office that I ever saw. 
 His name was Jran Baptiste Brouillettc. He was 
 finally selected for his great devotion as a mis- 
 sionary to the Indians in Oregon, where he taught 
 the red man the principles of his religion." 
 
 " But what would grandfather and grand- 
 ttiothor say to you when they returned home 
 from their ministerial games ? " 
 
THE PRIEST AT CARDS. 
 
 57 
 
 " O, they would tell us of the splendid times 
 they had ; how the jovial priest, with his tricks 
 and cheatings with the cards — all in sport, of 
 course — would keep the whole company for 
 hours in an uproar of laughter. Sometimes the 
 presbytery would be quite full. Now, I assure 
 you that at times, young as I was, this state of 
 things strangely puzzled my brain. The change 
 perceptible on going from Vermont only a few 
 miles into Canada, it seems to me, must have 
 been much as when Christ and the favoured 
 three descended from the Mount of Transfiyfiu^a- 
 tion into the valley of unbelief and demoniac 
 possessions." 
 
 " Jesus said, * Judge the tree by its fruit,' " 
 remarked Mrs. Beaudry. " Why did you not 
 apply the wholesome rule ? " 
 
 " The application of this test was often urged 
 upon my mind, but I regarded it as a temptation. 
 I endeavoured to reason myself into the belief 
 that this striking contrast between Protestant 
 and Romish manners might be traced to natural 
 causes mainly, such as inherited tendencies, and 
 the different influence of soil, climate, and 
 society amid which one is born and educated. 
 And yet all this failed to satisfy me, and for 
 several years the subject remained as a knotty 
 puzzle or profound mystery. ' 
 
 " But," interrupted Aunt Melie, " with such 
 
i 
 
 Jl.' ■!!!!!, 
 
 II 
 
 58 
 
 SPiniTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 convictions in your mind, and such facts before 
 your face, what could keep you so long in the 
 bosom of the Churcli :"" 
 
 " All, I presume 1 was detained Ijy the same 
 powerful influences which have for centuries 
 kei^t thousands of my fellow-religionists." 
 
 " This is a great puzzle to my own mind, 
 father," said Luella, "and if you can, I wish 
 you would explain it." 
 
 "Your request involves the whole subject of 
 i\\c. pee id uir povjer or influence of the Roman 
 Cidkollc Ckurcit over her memhers. To present 
 this subject fully would take more time than 
 remains to us this afternoon. But you see that 
 the storm increases, and is becomini>' so fearful 
 that it is not probable there will ])e any service 
 at the church to-niuht. In that event we will 
 meet again about eight o'clock, and 1 will try 
 to answer your incpiiry." 
 
 Our gathering was broken up without forma- 
 lity, and I was left alone in my room to spend a 
 few moments in meditation and prayer, until 
 the sound of the tea-bell should summon me 
 below. 
 
TV 
 
 The Chirch's Pim.aus of Strkxcjth — Nora — 
 LiMurs Infantum — Don Pio Mortara — Vestments 
 AND Ornaments — Fete Dieu — Pure Devotion. 
 
 "And powor was ^iveii liiin over all kiiulreiU, and toii^ucti, and 
 nations." — Kei'elation. 
 
 Ji#|HERE was no cessation in the storm ; it 
 ll had ratlier increased. During the even- 
 jiftw^ ing the wind veered. The cold was 
 oTowin«i' more and more intense. The 
 "V^ clouds lo\vered darkly, and prematurely 
 hid the day, while they poured their watery 
 contents down in sweeping floods. From their 
 angry bosoms they belched forth, Vesuvius-like, 
 their flery breath, hoarsely muttering defiance 
 to the darkening: ninht. The scene reminded 
 me of those lines of Thomson : — 
 
 " From cloud to cloud thu rending lightnings rage ; 
 Till, in the furious elemental Wiir 
 Dissolved, the whole precipitateil mass 
 Unliroken Hoods and solid torrents pour." 
 
 About the time of service I ventured out into 
 the dark, deserted streets, to ascertain whether 
 
i 
 
 
 1 
 
 I 
 
 J 
 
 60 
 
 SPIBTTUAL STIiUGGLKS. 
 
 there was any probability of a meeting. But 
 the .sexton had not opened the church door, and 
 the storm beat mournfully upon the darkened 
 windows, admonish ino' me to hasten my return 
 home. A few minutes before the appointed 
 time we were again in my study. The baby's 
 cradle was brought up, and he was snugly put 
 to .»leep. 
 
 An interesting episode must here be related. 
 By this time Nora had become strangely inte- 
 rested in our study meetings. During the week 
 the children had given her the substance of our 
 first interview, and she was greatly pleased with 
 the candour and Christian charity with which 
 the whole subject had been treated. And then, 
 drawn either by her natural curiosity or in- 
 fluenced by the Hoiy Spirit of God, she had so 
 adroitly managed the doors leading from ti\e 
 study to her room, on the same floor, that, un- 
 observed by us, she overheard nearly all the 
 conversation of the afternoon, jo-lidino: softlv 
 down stairs only just in time to prepare our 
 evening meal.* 
 
 A few minutes before the evening gathering 
 
 * We do not wisli to be iiiulerstootl as justifying Nora's plan 
 for eavesdrojiping — a censurable practice, too common with 
 some children and servants. But in this case the evil was 
 overruled for good. This once was Nora's only offence, for 
 which we freely forgave her, 
 
NOP A INTEIiESTED. 
 
 ei 
 
 she besought tlie children to intercede with me 
 tliat I would permit her to come in with us. 
 Of course my consent was readily granted, for 
 it was just what I desired, though I had not 
 expected that she would become interested in 
 the matter so soon. At first, not knowing how 
 much she knew of our former talks, I was half 
 inclined to regard her re(|uest as a joke, or to 
 think that a superstitious dread of being alone 
 in any room of the house during so terrific a 
 storm especially in the night, led her to this 
 desire. But I soon ascertained that she was in 
 earnest, and that already a deep longing to 
 know the savinof truth of God's word was 
 kindled within her. So when the children canie 
 in, they brought Nora with them. 
 
 As Luella came in holding Nora by the hand, 
 she sat down by her side. As soon as the room 
 became quiet, she turned to her and said : 
 
 " Nora, perhaps you, as well as father, can tell 
 me what I am especially anxious to know just 
 now." 
 
 Nora hung her head a moment, as if abashed 
 or a little puzzled, and then replied, " That 
 depends on what you want to know. I'll tell 
 you if I can." 
 
 "Well, can you tell me what is the chief 
 corner-stone, or the principal pillar of strength, 
 in your Church ? " 
 
es 
 
 SPiBiT riA L s T u 11 a a l ks. 
 
 Sho hesitated for soim* inoiiionts as if in <leep 
 study, and then slowly said, " T — suppose, — 
 cliild, — it is — lier infallibility;" but seeming 
 not to be fully satisfied herself with the answer, 
 she added, " Wait a bit, dear ; I think it is 
 rather her gredt attention to ch'dd'ren.'' 
 
 " Nora has struck the key-note," 1 said ; " you 
 may depend upon that. In this matter, how- 
 ever, Roman (catholics f(^llow illustrious ex- 
 amples — even that of the old Jewish Cluueh, 
 and of Clirist, who, setting a chikl in the midst 
 of his disciples, said, ' Of such is my kingdom, 
 and all men m^ t become like this child to enter 
 therein. 
 
 " But," .said Aunt Melie, " does the Romi.sh 
 Church present the .same motives, and does she 
 act with the same spirit ? " 
 
 " Let us examine. In order to reap as great 
 a harvest here as possible, she .strenuously 
 teaches that no child dying unbaptized can 
 possibly enter heaven, but must forever be 
 detained in a mournful region which .she calls 
 * Ihnbus iafantiini.' She does not permit 
 unbaptized children to be buried with others, 
 but puts them by themselves in a sort of potter's 
 field." 
 
 " There, I thought there was something funda- 
 mentally wrong," added Aunt Melie, " in her 
 teaching here. Why, nothing is plainer than 
 
BAI'TISM OF CHILD It EN. 
 
 (in 
 
 that tin- CMneiiant vvliicli God iiiailc with our 
 t'atlu'i- AhrahaiH iiichi<l(Ml himself and children, 
 and that all received circumcision as a neal <>/ 
 t/iiilr (h (■ planer tn'ith. (iod, and not to make 
 tliem acceptahle. So' now children sliould he 
 haptized, hccdtim thru alrcdd/j bchmg to Christ 
 an<l are of his king(U)m, hut not to make them 
 sue] I. i)a})tism can in no case create the union of 
 a soul to Christ; it only recognizes and seals ii 
 
 " You have planted yuur hannor on scriptural 
 i;round, I am sure," I replied. '• But the Roman 
 Catholic Church urL;-es the reverse of this. 
 Thus she seeks to haptize not only the children 
 of families where botli pai'cnts are Romanists, 
 but also where only one of them is in the faith, 
 and not unfretpiently she reaches tlie children 
 of those who are wholly non-Roman.* To ac- 
 complisli this, notwithstanding the sacredness 
 which the (Jhurch attaches to the sacraments, 
 she teaches that baptism may be acbiiinistered 
 l)y any person, in what she calls ' cases of neces- 
 sity.' *f" This can be (h>ne by a heretic eveUj or 
 
 * A Uoiaish priest iiiulcr oiitli not long siiict- made the fol- 
 lowing stiitt iiient : " I believe I have divine authority to secure 
 I'lotestant children I'roia their I'rotestant inotliors and yuab' 
 them ("atliolics. I deny the right of a Protestant minister to 
 do the same." 
 
 t Dr. C'halloner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 24. "Petit 
 Cat6chisme, " p. 51. 
 
' 
 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 I; 
 
 lii 
 
 II' ill 
 
 04 
 
 SPIRITUAL STIiUGGLES. 
 
 by an ij^norant servant-boy or girl, as well as by 
 a bishop." 
 
 So sayini,^. the children turned their eyes to- 
 ward Nora, Vvho, as I waited a nioiiiont, hoping 
 she niiglit say something, remarked, " All this is 
 true, but I wouldn't for the life of me that Pro- 
 testants generally should know it." 
 
 " Why not, if it be true ? " quickly asked 
 Luella. 
 
 " Why, don't you see that many of us poor 
 servant-girls would be sure to lose our places ? 
 for Protestants wouldn't have us in their fami- 
 lies if they knew these things, though we only 
 do what we are ordered to do by the Church. 
 And, faith, I have known of several children of 
 Protestant families brought into our Church in 
 this very way, when nobody but the prifjst and 
 myself, or some friend of mine, knew anything 
 about it, until it was too late for them." Here 
 she stopped abruptly, became nervous under the 
 excited gaze of the children, and, indeed, of the 
 rest of the company, and, as a fearful peal of 
 thunder shook the house, crossed herself and ex- 
 claimed, " Ah, me ! may the holy Virgin Mary 
 and St. Honora, my patron saint, protect me ! 
 for I didn't mean to turn informer on our good 
 priests, much less on myself. O what would I 
 give if I had never said a word about it ! " 
 
 " Now, Nora," I mildly remarked, hoping to 
 
DON rin Moiri'MiA. 
 
 66 
 
 removo her embarrassment, " you need not be so 
 troubled about what you have said, for, in the 
 first place, the <^eneral practice of your Church 
 in this direction was well known to me l)efore 
 you spoke ; and, in the second place, you ou<^ht 
 not to be afraid to tell the truth at any time. 
 It is already a matter of history that in 1858 a 
 boy, seven years old, named Edgar Mortara, the 
 son of a Jew at Bologna, then in the Pontifical 
 States, was forcibly taken from his parents and 
 placed in a Papal scho(*l at Rome, where he sub- 
 sequently becaitie a monk in one of the princi- 
 pal convents, and was known as Don Pio Mor- 
 tara. The ground on which he was taken w^as 
 his alleged baptism, when an infant and danger- 
 ously sick, by a servant-girl in his father's fami- 
 ly.* In all these cases the little protegf-'n are 
 looked after with untiring zeal, and, if possible, 
 brought within the scope of the Church's power. 
 A child can be taught to believe anything. 
 Faith, in the human breast, is as spontaneous 
 and natural as is breathing to the lungs, and no 
 one ever begins to doubt or question until he is 
 conscious of having been deceived." 
 
 " Mr. Spurgeon recently said," added i>>s. B., 
 ** ' I have, during the past year, received forty 
 or fifty children into Church-membership. 
 
 * R«;v. S. W. Barnum's *' Hoiuiuiisui As It Is," p. »348. 
 
w 
 
 III 
 
 ^\i 
 
 l» 
 
 6G 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 Among those I liavc had at any time to exclude 
 from Clmrch-t'ellowship, out of a Church of 
 twenty-seven liundred members, I never had to 
 exchide a singh) one wlio was received while yet 
 a cliild.' Even so the Church must learn 
 that if she would subdue the world to Christ 
 she nmst bring her children to her altars in very 
 infancy, and in the family train them thoroughly 
 for this holy war." 
 
 At this point I assured Nora that nothing 
 she had confessed should be permitted, at least if 
 I could prevent it, to return upon her to her in- 
 jury. Meanwhile Luella, in sympathy, had 
 thrown her arms around the agitated girl, draw- 
 ing her close to her side, so as to lean her head 
 upon her shoulder. Quietness having been fully 
 restored, Johnnie remarked : 
 
 " But this does not explain all the power of 
 the Churcli, does it ? " 
 
 " O no. Her power, especially over children 
 and the masses, is found also in her viethod of ob- 
 ject-tcachmi/, or use of symbols, vjhieh appeal to 
 the external sense.''. In this regard she greatly re- 
 sembles the Jewish Church. The artist is doing 
 vastly more in the Church than the priest. The 
 elaborate paintings on the walls of the churches ; 
 the gorgeous display of ornaments on the high 
 altars ; the splendid crucifixes and ponderous 
 statues ; the ever-burning lamps and tapers ; the 
 
\iIGHTS AND SOUNDS. 
 
 67 
 
 swin^aiif^ and sniokino- censers ; the oratorios per- 
 formed in the highest style of the musical art on 
 pealing organs ; the gaudy attire of vofficiating 
 priests and acolytes, or attendants, with the 
 varied and theatrical changes of the services, are 
 the chief attractions, both gravitating and cohe- 
 sive, of the Church. Strip her of these, and 
 wha.t would remain ? Preaching is but a small 
 item in the services of the Romish Church, and 
 often tliere is no preaching at* all. The people 
 are not generally instructed, but amused. 
 
 " No pains are spared to vary the above at- 
 tractions to suit them to the changing seasons 
 and to all occasions. For instance, during Lent 
 the churches are draped in mourning, and the 
 general services are more solemn than usual, cul- 
 minating in the most funereal solemnities during 
 Passion Week. The altars are then stripped of 
 their ornaments, the crucifixes and altar-pieces 
 are draped or covered, the windows are darkened, 
 and the lamps so arranged as to shed the most 
 melancholy light throughout the edifices. On 
 Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday evenings are 
 celebrated the tenehvw offices, so called from the 
 Latin word for darkness, because toward the end 
 of the service all the lights are extinguished, in 
 memory of the darkness which covered all the 
 earth while Christ was hanging on the cross ; 
 and at the close of the offices on Friday right, a 
 
P¥^ 
 
 in«i 
 
 - . 
 
 III 
 
 ; if 
 
 i m 
 
 m 
 
 SPTh I T TJA /> .S TU VG G I. ES. 
 
 noise is made )^y the con<rregati()n's clapping of 
 liands, or striking the bench before tlieni, to re- 
 present tlie earthijuake and rending of rocks, 
 whicli liappened at tlie moment wlien our Lord 
 expired. This rite is not performed in all ])Iaces, 
 but usually in metropolitan churches or cathe- 
 <Jrals. 
 
 " From the evening of Good Friday a cenotaph, 
 or memorial tomb of Christ, is erected near tlie 
 altar, at which, night and day,two boys belonging 
 to the choir, and dressed in white ro])es in imita- 
 tion of the angels, watcli while they read and 
 repeat solemn prayers. 1 have spent many 
 liours in these mournful vigils, hoping thereby 
 to i>ain some areat induljjjence from the Lord. 
 
 Odd 
 
 We were relieved by others every hour. ])uring 
 this time a large crucifix, intended to represent 
 the dead Saviour, is exposed in the church, at a 
 point convenient of access, and multitudes of 
 people visit it, and kiss it. These occasions left 
 a deep impression upon my sympathetic nature. 
 This service continues until early Easter morn- 
 ing, at the time that it is supposed Christ rose 
 from the tomb, when every vestige of mourning 
 is removed, and the greatest gaiety and jubila- 
 tion are introduced into every sight and sound. 
 During the month of May, which is especially 
 consecrated to the worship of the Virgin Mary, 
 there is the greatest dis])lay of flowers in the 
 
ft; 
 
 VESTMENTS. 
 
 churches, and the services are of the most joyful 
 kind." 
 
 " These things are so," said Nora ; " I have 
 often seen them." 
 
 " Certainly ; ' that which 1 have seen and 
 heard declare I unto you.' And T hav(; still more 
 to tell you. The vestments of the priests offici- 
 ating at masses are peculiarly attractive. They 
 are the amice, the alb, the girdle, the maniple, 
 the stole, and the chasuble. All these are 
 tastefully and gaudily made and trimmed. ' In 
 these vestments,' says Rev. Dr. Challoner,* ' the 
 Church makes use of five colours — the vAlte, on 
 the feast of our Lord, of the blessed Virgin, of 
 the angels, and of the saints that were not 
 martyrs ; the red, on the feast of Pentecost, on 
 the invention (discovery) and exaltation of the 
 cross, and of the apostles and martyrs ; the 
 (jreeii, on the greatest part of the Sundays; the 
 violet, in the penitential times of Advent and 
 Lent, and upon vigils and Ember days ; and the 
 hlaek, upon Good Friday and the masses for the 
 dead.' 
 
 '' In addition to these symbols, I ought to 
 mention those employed in Roman Catholic 
 countries like Lower Canada. Aloni]: most of 
 the thoroughfares the traveller is surprised to 
 
 *«*The Catholic lastriusU'd," p. 82. 
 
 i 
 
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 70 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
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 find every few miles a cross about twenty feet 
 luf(li, beautified with moslern art, before wliicli 
 the devout remove tlieir hats as they pass, and 
 make the sign of the cross upon their breasts, 
 and around whose base tlie ground is beaten 
 hard and smooth by tlie knees of tlie peasants 
 and villagers who come there at eventide to offer 
 their devotions. The hig est mountains and 
 hills are also adorned wit crosses, which the 
 faithful frequently visit i. holy pilgrimages. 
 Nearly every house, barn, and even outhouse is 
 surmounted by a cross, many of the citizens 
 preferring them to lightning-rods, and using them 
 for the same purpose. - 
 
 " Previous to their erection, tho>: ^-rge public 
 crosses are carried about the streets in pompous 
 and solemn processions, while music, both vocal 
 and instrumental, rends the air, and brilliant 
 flairs and banners float over the assembled 
 multitudes. B'requently flowers in great pro- 
 fusion are strewn along the way for the oflici- 
 ating bishop or priest to walk upon. I have 
 gathered many a basket of flowers from the fields 
 for these occasions, thinking that God would 
 greatly bless me for the deed. Public proces- 
 sions take place several <lays in the year, the 
 grandest occurring on what they call the feast of 
 Corpus Gltristi — the body of Christ. At this 
 procession, the priest, arrayed iii tlic most gor- 
 
PliOCESSIONS. 
 
 geous robes, carries a consecrated wafer, which 
 is believed now to be the real body of (^hrist, in 
 a golden pyx oi' ?.»ox, and walks under a beauti- 
 ful silken canopy borne by four men. He is 
 preceded by one man with the tiovvers and 
 another with a smoking censer, who walk back- 
 ward so as to face the priest, casting the Howers 
 and swinging the censer, as they keep time with 
 the music and the movinu: thvoiiijr. Now, when 
 ^''ou consider that all these syndtols and celebra- 
 tions are regarded as religious services and holy 
 sacrifices, acceptable to God and l)enetlcial to 
 souls here and hereaf:ter, you will not won "er 
 that children and thousands of adults, especially 
 women, are drawn to the Church l)y them." 
 
 " O, how earnest and devoted Roman Catholics 
 must be to do all these things," said Luella, 
 
 " But in what part of the Bible do you Hnd 
 that God's people are directed or instructed to 
 worship him in an} such way ^" asked Aunt 
 Melie. ' 
 
 *' »/e lind it in our prayer-ljooks, ma'am," 
 said Nora ; " and can we do too much for God ? " 
 
 "No, indeed," answered Mis. Beaudry, "when 
 we are guided by his blessed Spirit and word. 
 But there is a zeal whicli is not according to 
 knowledge, and wliich is injurious. Jesus has 
 taught us that God is a spirit, and that true 
 worshippers nmst worship the Father in spirit 
 
72 
 
 SPJIU T UA L S TR (JL n I ES. 
 
 and in truth — that is, in sincerity, under the 
 guidance ot* the Holy Spirit, and in accordance 
 with his revealed truth. All our services should 
 be simple, and thus adapted to a!.i classes of 
 people — the poor, the ignorant, the sick. They 
 ought to be the natural outgushings of pure 
 hearts, spontaneous as the light which emanates 
 from the sun, silent yet glorious ; or as the water 
 which flows clear and cool from bubbling springs, 
 to refresh the flowers that grow along the banks 
 of the brooklet, and to make the meadows green. 
 It is, above all things, a pure heart that Jesus 
 wants ; a heart in which He may dwell, and 
 make it the temple of the Holy Spirit. All that 
 we can do with our hands or feet is nothing in 
 comparison with the heart's pure adoration and 
 love, and that service of * a quiet and peaceable 
 life ' which is rendered ' in all godliness and 
 honesty ' — a life which seeks to know and then 
 to do the will of God." 
 
 " You speak beautifully, ma'am ; I wish I 
 could speak as well. how long I have desired 
 to have such a pure heart as you speak of — a 
 heart that would love and praise God as natu- 
 rally as flowers exhale their sweet odours, or 
 even such a one as I think yours must be, which 
 keeps you calm and gentle in the midst of care 
 and provocation, and gives you such a happy» 
 even temper." 
 
 in' * 
 
CHILD- J J KE TRUST, 
 
 7^ 
 
 Almost blushing under such an unexpected 
 sally of praise, Mrs. Beaudry responded : " Why, 
 Nora, you surprise me ! 1 would advise you 
 not to take me, or any other creature, for your 
 model, but take Jesus, who is our only Saviour, 
 and the perfect pattern of his people. He will 
 grant you just such a heart and life as you desire, 
 if you seek it with a right spirit." 
 
 Here looking at my watch 1 found that it was 
 about our u^jual hour for retiring. So inter- 
 rupting this interesting train of remarks — 
 though the subject we had been discussing was 
 not exhausted — I suggested that we must termi- 
 nate our interview. " But let us first kneel 
 down to offer our evening prayer, and ask 
 our heavenly Father for his illumination and 
 guidance." 
 
 This season of devotion was peculiarly refresh- 
 ing, and at its close we repeated in concert, as we 
 always do, the following little prayer : 
 
 " And now wn lay nsdown to slcop, 
 We pray tlie Lord our souls to keep ; 
 And should we die before, we wake, 
 We pray the Lord our souls to take. 
 And this we ask tor .lesus' sake. Amen," 
 
 Then the children, as is their habit after all 
 our family devotions, came each in turn for their 
 kiss, before 1 rose from my knees ; and when 
 
 ^t' 
 
 in 
 
H 
 
 Srilil T UA L S Tli UG G LEH. 
 
 Mary had cmljiaced me, she naively said, while 
 yet the storm was liowling tcirrihly witliout: 
 
 " Father, tlie Lord can keep us, can't he, al- 
 tliougli the night is so dark and stormy ?" 
 
 " O, yes. my cliild ; lie keeps even the little 
 birds and insects to-night, so that not one of 
 them can suffer or fall without his notice. I 
 can trust you in the care of Him to * whom the 
 darkness and the light are both alike.' And 
 now good-night." 
 
 As they withdrew through the hall, 1 heard 
 Luella repeating to the others a few lines of a 
 favourite hynui from the piMi of Ht'nry Knke 
 White: 
 
 " Y«' winds of ni^'hi, your Unci' »uu\\>\\U' i 
 
 Without his high Hi'lu'st, 
 V»' shall not, iu tlu' nuUintiviu pine, 
 
 iMntUVh the MimVVOiW's nrst. 
 
 " His vnlcu sublime is heard afar j 
 
 In distant peals it dies ; 
 He yokes the whirlwind to his eai-, 
 
 And sweeps the howling skies." 
 
V. 
 
 ?n\.Aits: OK STUi:>f(!TU— Baixjes- HoiA Watku- Pai,m 
 liuANniEs - An ALTAu-JioY — Mystkuv and Know- 
 
 LKDUK - IMI'LICIT FaITH — BoAHTED UnITY MERE 
 ToNEORMlTY — InFAI.LIUII.ITY AND ('ONTENTION. 
 
 " Ami hi' oauiii;tli all, l)oth siiuill iiiid yreat, rich and jioor, free and hond, 
 to receive a inatk in their right hainl, or in tlieir foreiieuds."— ^;wtrt/^/),sr. 
 
 ^HE week had j^dided by without any 
 ^c? sj)ecial incident, save that a deepening 
 religious feeling v.'^as observable in all, 
 particularly in Nora, who seemed to hail 
 ^*' the seasons of family prayers with much 
 more than her former interest. When she first 
 came to live with us she appeared even loath to 
 hear us read the Bible lessons, but now she 
 gladly participated with us in the pleasing 
 exercise ; and when the Sa1)bath afternoon came, 
 instead of going to vespers, as she used to do, 
 she was one of the first to repair to my study to 
 arrange things for our meeting there. 
 
 On assembling this time I told them that T 
 had already described two of the leading ele- 
 
I ii 
 
 
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 i 
 
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 7r. 
 
 SPIUTTUAL STHUGGLES. 
 
 merits of power in the Church, answerinff to the 
 two leading senses in the human ))ody, namely, 
 seeing an<l hearing, for the eye is delighted to 
 behold the sym})ols with which the (^uirch is 
 filled, and the ear is charmed in listening to her 
 instruments of music and cultured voices ; ))ut 
 the third element of strength answers very 
 nearly to feeling. It is this: T/te Church In- 
 f/evioudy Jurni»hf8 to every one of her members, 
 old and young, good, had, and indifferent, some- 
 thing considered, religious to do or hear in 
 nearly (dl her services, and every day of life. 
 
 " What does she give children to do ? " asked 
 Johnnie, who is always ready to act as well as 
 to think. " Does she let them sine: ? " 
 
 " Most certainly ; their choirs are largely made 
 up of children, and thus become the more attrac- 
 tive. But then this is not all they let the chil- 
 dren do. When a large cross was consecrated and 
 erected at Henry ville, I carried a beautiful cruci- 
 fix which my mother had purchased for me ; and 
 there was scarcely a child or adult but had either 
 a crucifix, or a medal, or a prayer-book, or a, 
 string of rosary beads, or a scapular." 
 
 " What do you mean by this last 
 
 again in- 
 
 quired Johnnie. 
 
 " I shall have to tell you some other time, at 
 least if you can wait." 
 
KVhlUY ONE A HADdN. 
 
 77 
 
 "rertainly ; but what (lid you do with tliosu 
 things tliure ^ " 
 
 " When tlie hishop sprinkled tlie ^reat cross 
 with holy water, and afterward tin- multitudes, 
 these crucifixes and other thinijfs w»'re helu out 
 so as to receive at least a drop ol the water, 
 after which they wer^i said to be endowed with 
 great spiritual, and even miraculous, power. 
 For instance, if any one was taken suddenly 
 and dangerously ill, the crucifix would be laid 
 on his breast until the parish prii st arrived to 
 administer what they call the ' sacrament of 
 extreme unction.' The crucifix was supposed to 
 have power to prolong the life of the invalid, at 
 least until the priest's arrival. 
 • " My mother used to t.ilk to us for hours about 
 the miracles performed by these and other 
 sacred relics. Our pi'ayer-books and books of 
 instruction were also full of these accounts. 
 The crucifix I carried on the day referred to 
 was sacredly preserved in the family for at least 
 a score of years, and was always resorted to in 
 hours of trouble and danger." 
 
 " But, father, are these the only occasions in 
 which every one can do something w^hich is con- 
 sidered especially pious ? " asked Luella. 
 
 " No, indeed. At least once a year, on Maun- 
 dy-Thursday of Passion Week (the last week of 
 Lent), the same day on which the Pope and 
 
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 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 bishops consecrate the holy chrisTn, or oil of 
 olives and balm of Gilead, as they say it is, a 
 large tub or hogshead of pure water is brought 
 into the church." 
 
 " O how funny ! " exclaimed Mary. " Do they 
 bring it there to swim in, father ? " 
 
 " Why no, my child. It is brought there to 
 be made into holy water.'' 
 
 " I should like to know how that is done," 
 observed Luella. 
 
 " I will try to tell you. The priest and his at- 
 tendants gather around the tub or vessel, sing 
 Latin hymns, and repeat prayers and litanies ; 
 then he casts a little salt, previously exorcised 
 by solemn ceremony, into the water, saying, ' I 
 exorcise thee, creature of water, in the name 
 of God the Father Almighty, and in the name 
 of Jesus Christ His Son our Lord, and in the 
 virtue of the Holy Ghost, that thou mayesfc by 
 this exorcism have power to chase away all the 
 power of the enemy ; that thou mayest be 
 enabled to cast him out and put him to flight, 
 with all his apostate angels, by the virtue of the 
 same Jesus Christ our Lord, who is to come to 
 judge the living and the dead, and the world by 
 fire. Amen.' " * 
 
 •Dr. Challoner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 203. 
 
HOLY WATER. 
 
 79 
 
 "But what do they mean by the word 
 exorcisrn? " 
 
 " I will give you the definition of the Church : 
 ' The rites and prayers instituted by the Church 
 for casting out devils, or restraining them from 
 hurting persons, disquieting places, or abusing 
 any of God's creatures to our harm.' When the 
 above prayers have been duly repeated, the 
 water is pronounced holy." 
 
 " What do they do with this water ? " inquired 
 Johnnie. 
 
 "Thc3 dses are various. Some is kept in a 
 font by the church door for every one who 
 enters or retires to sprinkle himself with ; the 
 altar and the people are sprinkled with it at the 
 beginning of mass ; it is sprinkled upon the 
 coiRns and graves of the dead ; on the ashes used 
 on Ash-Wednesday ; on the ring used at mar- 
 riage ceremonies, and on persons consecrated to 
 any special religious purpose. It is also em- 
 ployed in the baptism of persons and things 
 considered sacred, such as church bells, candles 
 or tapers for the altar, ,c to burn by the side 
 of the dead ; and the sick-room is usually well 
 furnished with it. 
 
 " On the days when it is made, every family, 
 and sometimes every member of the family, 
 brings a bottle or vial, which is filled with the 
 consecrated element; and every home is thus 
 
 [•■ 
 
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 ( 11 
 
 l!' 
 
 I i I 
 
 80 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 supplied. It is recommended by the authorities, 
 as you might infer from the prayer of conse- 
 cration, as being very sacred, and securing God's 
 protection and blessing upon those who use it ; 
 and, like the crucifixes and other things men- 
 tioned before, it is believed to have power to 
 work miracles, partiiiularly upon those occasions 
 when it is used against magical enchantments 
 and the power of the devil." * 
 
 " O, it is only the ignorant and superstitious 
 who believe in such trinkets," said Nora, who 
 had been quiet for some time, but now felt her- 
 self called out to vindicate her Church. 
 
 " You forget, I fear, Nora, that these ' trinkets,' 
 as you style them, are things solemnly conse- 
 crated by bishops and priests who teach the 
 people in thoir Catechisms that they are impor- 
 tant, and should be used in their devotions. It 
 is rather the unbelieving who refuse to accept or 
 use them." 
 
 , " You are right, I must confess," she replied ; 
 "I know it, though I earnestly wish it were 
 otherwise." 
 
 " On Palm-Sunday," I continued, " the first 
 day of Passion Week, there is another great 
 procession, ^he streets having been previously 
 adorned with evergreens. Bishop Fenwick tells 
 
 * Rt. Rev. Bp. Fenwick's "Catholic Catechism," p. 82. 
 
PALM BRANCHES. 
 
 SI 
 
 us that this is in honor of our Lord's triumphant 
 entry into Jerusalem, and is so called from the 
 palm branches strewed under his feet by the 
 Hebrew children. On this day the Church 
 blesses palms, that is, sprinkles them with holy 
 water, and make.« a solemn procession, in memory 
 of the triumph of our Saviour, the people Ijear- 
 ing palm branches. Thus, besides participating 
 in the procession, every one, old and young, 
 carries a twig of spruce, hemlock, or pine, as a 
 part of the religious ceremony. After the sprig 
 is sprinkled, it is taker home and carefully 
 preserved." 
 
 " But what good does it do ? " inquired 
 Johnnie. 
 
 " The people are taught that it is a sure pro- 
 tection from injury by the elements as well as 
 from the attacks of Satan. I well recollect 
 when, at the beginning of such a storm as pre- 
 vailed last Sabbath, my mother would say to us, 
 ' Apportez le rameaitj — bring the branch ; and 
 then plucking the leaflets she would put them 
 into our hair, and piously sprinkle us with holy 
 water ; and then at every gleam of lightning we 
 made the sign of the cross upon ourselves, and 
 felt perfectly secure. Many Roman Catholics 
 believe that these things will often divert storms 
 from their destined course, and also quench the 
 
 violence of fire." 
 6 
 
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 82 
 
 SPIRT TUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " How is it, then," inquired Johnnie, " that 
 Romish countries, even more, I think, than 
 Protestant, are so fre(^uently visited with dread- 
 ful storms, hurricanes, and earthquakes; and 
 that fires are so prevalent in Roman Catholic 
 cities, often burning their churches and schools, 
 as was the case in Montreal, July 8th and 9th, 
 1852, as I remember reading ? The destruction 
 was terrible, and mostly of Roman Catholic 
 property." 
 
 " Look right at home," added Luella. " You 
 remember how llo-htning: struck one of the turrets 
 of St. Joseph's Church, and damaged the build- 
 ing, while no other church was touched. And 
 also in the terrible calamity that laid Chicago 
 in ashes, but a short time ago, Romish churches 
 and convents formed no barrier to the tide of 
 fire which swept them away." Then turning to 
 Nora she said, ** And what do you think about 
 these facts, which you know as well as the rest 
 of us ? " 
 
 " Like most children," answered Nora, appear- 
 ing a little provoked, " you ask more questions 
 than anybody can answer. At the same time, I 
 am led to suspect that there is a great deal of 
 hollow pretence in the Church." 
 
 " Be this as it may," I interrupted, " you can 
 see what power these teachings exercise over the 
 people, as they constantly participate in such 
 
AN ALT AB- BOY. 
 
 83 
 
 services at home and at chiircli. This was espe- 
 cially the case with our family. My parents 
 were not only prominent and devoted members 
 of the Ohurch, but my father was for many 
 years a leading singer in the choir, and also 
 belonged to the board of ' syndics,' or officers of 
 the Church. To complete our attachment, your 
 Uncle Charles and myself were put into the 
 choir — made enfant s de chceur, or altar-boys, as 
 we were called — where we not only sang, but 
 frequently took our turns in waiting on the 
 priest during mass and vespers. We were 
 dressed in long flowing gowns ; and if you will 
 look at the pictures in Bishop Fenwick's Cate- 
 chism, beginning at page 02, you will see what 
 we mainly had to do. We engaged in those 
 ceremonies with great devotion. It required 
 lono' and tedious training to learn the Latin 
 service, with its many responses, not a word of 
 which we understood ; and also to know at 
 what time to raise the trail of the priest's 
 chasuble ; to ring a little bell ; to bow^ here and 
 go there ; to give the priest his portion of wine ; 
 then water to wash his fingers in imitation of 
 Pilate, and to perform our part in the varying 
 scenes of this long religious drama. But having 
 learned these things thoroughly, we were the 
 more punctual in our attendance at church, for 
 whole months together going every day. Low 
 
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 84 
 
 SPIIilT UA L S Tli UGG L KS. 
 
 mass, as it is called, is celebrated every iiit ruing 
 of week days throughout the year, except on 
 Good Friday, and high mass on Sundays. Low 
 mass is sometimes celebrated on Sunday also. 
 The latter is simply spoken, and sometimes so 
 rapidly, especially by some priests, that you can 
 distinguish only a continuous buzz ; but the 
 former is sung or chanted by the priest and the 
 whole choir in very grand style." 
 
 "I would certainly like to attend the ser- 
 vices you have been describing," said Luella. 
 " Won't you take me to them some time ? " 
 '•' And won't you take me too ? " asked Johnnie. 
 " And me too, father ? " followed Mary. 
 " Yes, children, at the very first opportunity 
 you shall see for yourselves at least some of the 
 things I have attempted to describe ; and if I 
 can't go with you, perhaps Nora will be willing 
 to go in my place." 
 
 " I don't know about that," replied Nora, with 
 a peculiar twinkle in her eyes. " Your talk 
 makes me feel almost ashamed of the whole 
 thing ; and then if I should take the children, 
 I'm a little afraid they might ask me too many 
 questions." 
 
 " Never mind now ; we'll try to make this all 
 right somehow." Having called their attention 
 from this thing, I said, 
 
 " I want to mention now another element of 
 
MYSTEBY AND KNOWLEDGE. 
 
 85 
 
 power in the Church, the mystery with which 
 she invests every religious suhjedJ' 
 
 *' Is it not true," asked Nora, " that religion 
 is a very mysterious thing ? " 
 
 " I admit that in revelation, as in nature, 
 there are many mysteries ; but there are also 
 many things which can he well known and 
 imderstood. For instance, who can solve the 
 mystery of nutrition even ? Who can tell us 
 how food taken into the stomach becomes blood, 
 bones, nerves, muscles, tissues, nails, hair, etc. ? 
 Yet who does not know and cannot tell us when 
 his hunger is satisfied and his body strengthened 
 by nourishment ? Thus the known and the 
 unknown go hand in hand all the way through 
 the operations of nature. The same is true in 
 revelation, showing the God of the one to be 
 the God of the other also. But the Romish 
 Church makes no such distinction as nature and 
 revelation indicate. She robes every phase of 
 religion in profound mystery, forgetting that 
 while it is true that we cannot know everything 
 about anything, it is equally true that we may 
 positively know something about everything. 
 Hence she says, ' Away with your reason when 
 you come into the temple of God ! ' To add 
 force to this teaching, she worships in an 
 unknown tongue : she complicates her system 
 with numerous classes of priests and ' religious,' 
 
 i 
 
 !i! 
 
 i 
 
 ■II 
 
m 
 
 S PTlUr UA L N T h' U(i d f. KS. 
 
 
 male and i'eiiiali!, cacli with tlu'ir fstranoo and 
 mystic garb, making them appear like different 
 orders of beings from the common people ; and 
 when science, however strongly intrenched, con- 
 tradicts her theories, she blindly rejects the 
 known truth for her favourite mysteries. Recall 
 the history of Galileo and hundreds of others. 
 But God addresses man thus, ' (Jome now, and 
 let us reason together.' There nnist, therefore, 
 be some religious subjects which the reason can 
 grapple with an.l ought to solve. ' Prove all 
 things,' says Paul, ' hold fast that which is good.' " 
 
 " Our priests tell us that we must believe and 
 receive all that they teach us without asking any 
 questions for conscience' sake," remarked Nora, 
 *' because, they say, he who questions shows 
 doubts, and the Scriptures declare that ' he that 
 doubteth is damned.' " 
 
 " This is a favourite text of theirs, 1 know, and 
 their comment upon it is drawn from the Sa- 
 viour's own words to doubting Thomas, * Blessed 
 are they that have not seen and yet have 
 believed.' Bishop Fenwick, in his Catechism, 
 is heard asking the children of his diocese, 
 (Boston, Mass.) — 
 
 " ' How shall we know the things which we 
 are to believe ? ' 
 
 " ' Answer. From the Catholic Church of God, 
 which he has established by innumerable mi- 
 
WHAT dHUliCH.' 
 
 S7 
 
 rcacles, and illustrated by the lives and deaths 
 of innumerable saints.' 
 
 " And further on he asks again : — 
 
 " ' Are we bound to obey the commandments 
 of the Church ? ' 
 
 " * Yes ; because Christ has said to the pastors 
 of his Church, He that heareth you heareth me ; 
 and he that despiseth you despiseth me.' " 
 
 " Are not all these thinfjs in the Bible ? " 
 asked Nora. 
 
 " Certainly ; but we are to exercise our reason 
 as to luhat Church has the Divine authority to 
 command and to teach, for Christ said, 'Ye shall 
 know them by their works, as trees are known 
 by their fruits ; ' and even then we are not to 
 receive their doctrines with a thoughtless assent, 
 or without the closest scrutiny. Each member 
 of the Church has a duty here, as well as his 
 instructors ; he must know these things for 
 himself, at least as far as experimental and practi- 
 cal religion is concerned. Every true believer 
 will admit that there is much mystery as to the 
 sources or causes of redemption, yet nothing is 
 plainer from Scripture, or more clearly exem- 
 plitied in the experience of thousands of 
 Christians, than that he who accepts pardon 
 may knoiu it, so that it becomes at last a matter 
 of experience. Paul says, 'And without con- 
 troversy great is the mystery of godliness : God 
 
 ! i' 
 
 
I 
 
 lhli 
 
 88 
 
 .SJ'IlilTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 was vianifed in the flesh, justified in the Spirit, 
 seen of angels, preached unto the Gentiles, 
 believed on in the 'world, received up into glory.' 
 Here we have the incarnation of Christ as a 
 glorious mystery, but his manifestation was well 
 known to ann|;els and to men, challenixinfj the 
 admiration of the former and the faith of the 
 latter. And Peter, writing to his brethren of 
 Christ, says : ' Whom having not seen ye love ; 
 in whom, though now ye see him not, yet 
 believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and 
 full of glory, receiving (now) the end of your 
 faith, even the salvation of your souls." Here 
 we see the true meaning of the text, ' Blessed 
 are they that have not seen and yet have 
 believed.' It is believing in Christ, and not in 
 men." 
 
 " Why, father," said Johnnie, " your talk re- 
 minds me of telegraphing ; you know how mys- 
 terious all the operations are, but the messages 
 are easily understood." 
 
 " The Scriptures are full of this thought," I 
 replied. " The young man born blind, speaking 
 of Christ to the Pharisees, who were questioning 
 him about his recovery, exclaimed, ' Whether 
 he be a sinner or no, I know not,' that is a 
 mystery to me ; ' one thing I know, that 
 whereas I was blind, now I see.' " 
 
IMPLICIT FAITH. 
 
 80 
 
 " May we know it for sure :* " inquired Nora 
 lonc^ingly. 
 
 " Yes, indeed," responded two or three voices 
 in the room. 
 
 " Job said," I added, " ' I know that uiy Re- 
 deemer liv^eth.' Paul: 'I know wliom I have 
 believed.' John: 'We know that wo have 
 passed from death unto life.' This is the 
 uniform and univ^ersal testimony of the word of 
 God. But the teachinir of the Roman Catholic 
 Church upon this point has its desi(>ned effect. 
 She seems to regard the common people as a 
 herd of imbeciles, and by her treatment reduces 
 many of them to mere automatons. We had a 
 good illustration of this a few days ago. The 
 following conversation took place between a 
 Protestant drayman and a Romish coalheaver : — 
 . " * Patrick, what do you believe ? ' 
 
 " * B'lave, shure, ' replied Patrick, ' I b'lave 
 what the Roman Catholic Church b'laves.' 
 
 " ' Well, Patrick, what does the Church 
 believe ? ' 
 
 " * Shure, man, the Church b'laves what I 
 b'lave.' 
 
 " ' Now, Patrick, what do you both believe ? ' 
 
 " * Well, by my sowl, sir, we both b'lave alike.' " 
 
 "This is implicit faith. Thus the Church 
 steals away the brains of her people and 
 stultifies them. She quenches in them all desire 
 
 11 
 
 •H 
 
Ill 
 
 90 
 
 SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 1 1 
 
 
 1 
 
 
 1 
 
 I i\ 
 
 
 1 
 
 1 1 
 1 
 
 jii 
 
 
 I 
 
 I'i 
 
 
 i 
 
 I;, , 
 
 1 
 
 
 (J 1 
 
 
 
 
 i 
 
 
 
 to use their reasoninof faculties on relioiious sub- 
 jects, while she invests herself, and especially 
 the priesthood, with an undefined, mysterious 
 power which is almost omnipotent with the 
 masses of her people." 
 
 "If indeed the Roman Catholic Church is 
 wrong," said Nora thoughtfully, "how shall 
 poor sinners learn where to go among so many 
 different Protestant Churches ? " 
 
 " Your question reminds me of another great 
 element of power in your Church, which, as I 
 shall explain it, will, I trust, throw some light 
 upon this subject, and that is her boasted unity 
 as against Portestant sectarianism. However, 
 let us not confound unity with mere conformity. 
 She brandishes before the nations the beautiful 
 Latin tongue which she employs in all her 
 services, endeavouring thereby to impress them 
 with the belief that all her people, or those who 
 hold to her general confession of faith, are one 
 in feeling, in doctrine, in practice. On the 
 other hand, she affirms that Protestants are 
 divided into numberless petty sects or denomi- 
 nations, as antagonistic to each other as they 
 are to the Roman Catholic Church, and that the 
 Protestant world is as much confused as was 
 ancient Babel. * According to their own teach- 
 ing,' she says, 'there must be an Episcopalian 
 God, a Presbyterian God, a Methodist God, and 
 
UNITY OR CONFOliMITY. 
 
 91 
 
 a Baptist God, certainly as many deities as 
 there are sects , ' and she asserts that the most 
 charitable conclusion to be drawn is, that 
 Protestantism is a grand religious farce, or a 
 horrible rebellion against God, adapted to satisfy 
 the caprice of vicious, designing men." 
 
 " But what are the facts in the case ? " asked 
 Aunt Melie. 
 
 " Here they are : that the ditferences among 
 Protestants are so slight as scarcely to be worth 
 mentioning ; that they generally relate to Church 
 government or discipline, and not to doctrines ; 
 and that these differences are far less than those 
 found in the organizations of the different 
 societies, confraternities, or sodalities, etc., of 
 monks and nuns, or ' brothers ' and ' sisters,' in 
 the Roman Catholic Church. I mean the 
 Jesuits, the Sulpicians, the Dominicans, the 
 Franciscans, etc., etc. Our Protestant denomi- 
 nations may well be compared to the different 
 tribes of Israel, or to the different regiments of 
 an army, each with its peculiar badges or 
 insignia, its peculiar uniform and equipment, 
 suited to the arm of service to which it 
 belongs, but all under the command of one 
 General, actuated by one common impulse and 
 motive, and accomplishing one great work. In 
 proof of this statement I cite the general organi- 
 zations to which all evangelical denominations 
 
 ! ; I 
 
 h 
 
 • ii 
 
 ! . 
 
 Ttqi 
 
 ^ 
 
92 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 
 i: 
 
 belong, such as the American and Foreign 
 Christian Union, the American Bible Society, 
 the Evangelical Alliance, and the Young Men's 
 Christian Associations. Here is still more con- 
 vincing proof, in the fact that our religious 
 services are attended by members of all denomi- 
 nations indiscriminately ; that ministers of dif- 
 ferent Churches exchange pulpit labours ; and 
 that many of the members of some Churches 
 were converted at the altars of others, and vice 
 versa. 
 
 "Furthermore, every careful reader of the 
 times can see that while Protestants are becom- 
 ing more and more alike in their prinf^iples and 
 spirit, Roman Catholics, on the other hand, are be- 
 coming more and more unlike each other. Witness 
 the dissensions and divisions among Romanists 
 during the discussions, and since the procla- 
 mation, of the dogma of the Pope's infallibility. 
 This doctrine has fallen among them as a bone 
 of contention, though the masses had long been 
 trained for its reception. This was the case also 
 with the doctrine of the Virgin Mary's immacu- 
 late conception. The doctrine that the Pope is 
 infallible was taught me more than thirty years 
 ago. I was told that the priest receives his power 
 from the bishi p, he from the archbishop, this 
 from the cardinal, and the last from the Pope." 
 
 "But where does the Pope get his power 
 
^^rff 
 
 INFALLIBILITY AND CONTENTION. 93 
 
 from ? " inquired Johnnie, who is always anxious 
 to probe things to the bottom. 
 
 " Directly from God, with whom, I was taught, 
 he communicated at least once a year by means 
 of a letter." 
 
 " 0, how I would like to be the Pope's post-boy 
 then ! " he jokingly added, causing a little 
 laughter. 
 
 " But now, while some countries and prelates 
 accept the doctrine, many reject it, notwith- 
 standing the appeals and threats made to them ; 
 until at last the Pope hurls his dreadful 
 anathema at no less a scholar and Christian 
 than Dr. Von Dollinger, of Bavaria, whose 
 opposition is sustained by the leading univer- 
 sities and professors of his own and other lands. 
 Thus a party of ' Old Catholics,' as they very 
 correctly call themselves, is forming, which 
 threatens the Roman Catholic Church '.vith 
 dismemberment and discomfiture, at least in 
 Germany." 
 
 "The sk}^ reddens with wrath," said Aunt 
 Melie, "against the Pope and his party in 
 Europe." 
 
 " It is true," I added, " for even papalized 
 Italy, by a unanimity of voice and vote seldom 
 paralleled in the history of nations, ejects the 
 sovereign (?) pontiff* from the throne of his 
 regal power, against his most solemn protests 
 
 5 
 
 t i I: 
 
04 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 and warnings. They persist in their course like 
 one v/ho tries to slough off from his vitals a 
 deadly, putrid cancer, notwithstanding the plead- 
 ings of Roman Catholic France, for so many years 
 the mainstay of the Pope, but now, through her 
 own arrogance, most pitifully humbled in her 
 unsuccessful contest with Protestant Prussia. 
 Italy has not even heeded the prayers of Roman 
 Catholics in America, who paraded our streets 
 in mammoth processions, and were harangued 
 on the subject by their leading men in their 
 grand churches and cathedrals. There is no 
 union of heart between different Romanized 
 nations, but rather enmity, as, for instance, 
 between the French and Irish in this country. 
 A sample of this was given recently in the city 
 of Quebec. And yet you must remember that 
 all these schisms are occurring among a people 
 who boast of being governed by one head, and 
 in whose Catechisms we are told that ' the Pope 
 is the Bishop of Rome, the first of bishops, the 
 Successor of St. Peter, the Vicar of Jesus Christ 
 on earth, the centre of Catholic unity, and 
 visible Chief of the Church.' * 
 
 " On the other hand, the oneness of Protest- 
 ants is not derived from any centralization of 
 power in one man or a select few, but they are 
 
 ' Petit Oat^chisme, p. 24. 
 
THE CHURCH'S PILLARS OF STBENGTH. 95 
 
 drawn together by their common attachment to 
 the truth of God — by the unifying inf^ 'ence of 
 a pure Christianity. It is the 'unity of the 
 Spirit in the bond of peace.' If this was not 
 strictly true of Protestants in the distant past, 
 it is true of them to-day ; and may it please the 
 Lord to make it true, sooner or later, of all the 
 nations and peoples who profess the Christian 
 
 name ! " 
 "Amen!" 
 
 responded my auditors, whose in- 
 terest had waxed stronger as I advanced with 
 my argument. 
 
 At this interesting point of our discussion our 
 door-bell was rung, and a messenger, who had 
 come in great haste, announced that one of our 
 Sunday-school scholars, having been taken sud- 
 denly ill, was lying apparently at the point of 
 death and was very anxious to see me. So, 
 leaving my compan}^ I hastened to relieve, as 
 far as possible, the wants of the dying scholar. 
 I found him very near the gates of death, but 
 in a very happy frame of mind. He told me of 
 his child-like trust in Jesus, who had forgiven 
 all his sins, and thus prepared him for this last 
 change. How heavenly was the influence of the 
 chamber of death as we joined in singing : 
 
 ** Jesus can make a dying bed 
 
 Feel soft as downy pillows are, 
 While on His breast 1 lean my head, 
 And breathe my life out sweetly there." 
 
 f 
 
I I 
 
 i 
 
 
 VL 
 
 To Whom My Sins Confess /—Monsikir ({rknikr— 
 Agreement and Disagreement — Confessional 
 Described — Preparations for Con fession — One 
 Mediator. 
 
 " If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, 
 and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." — ,fohn. 
 
 |HE week had been eventful. With the 
 children and their mother I had visited 
 St. Joseph's Roman Catliolic Church, 
 where we spent some time in interesting 
 observation and study. Meanwhile we 
 had formed what seemed to be, especially at this 
 time, a providential acquaintance, under the 
 f ollowinof circumstances. One evenino; I received 
 a letter from a ministerial brother in a neigh- 
 bouring parish, which ran thus : — 
 
 " Dear Brother : — Your help is very much 
 needed. A French Roman Catholic, a young 
 man of intelligence and refinement, called on me 
 last night to ask me some questions about his 
 and our religion. He says he felt well enough 
 
TO WHOM MY SINS vONFESS ! 
 
 1)7 
 
 till he got hold o£ a Bible, since which time he 
 has had no peace of inind. About two weeks 
 aixo he thouufht he would Ijecome insane it* he 
 did not get help. I talked and prayed with 
 him, and gave him Wesley's Sermons and Peck's 
 Rule of Faith as the best books I could think of 
 in my possession, and told him of you. His eye 
 brightened when I told him I would cro with 
 him to see you. He is anxious to come imme- 
 diately. . . . Yours fraternally, 
 
 "Joel K. Wager." 
 
 The young man's name and place of business 
 were given, and an answer was desired to 
 inform them when I would be home, with leisure 
 to meet them. But I was too much interested in 
 the case to wait for the return of mail, so I 
 went early the next morning and found him. 
 His name is Charles Wiilie Grenier. Thoujrh 
 thoroughly educated in the College of the 
 Jesuits in Montreal, and, up to the time of his 
 getting a Bible, only a few months ago, passion- 
 ately devoted to the Church, with an uncle in 
 the priesthood and all his fandly in the faith, I 
 found him grasping evangelical teaching with 
 wonderful eagerness, and resolved at any cost 
 to seek the truth as it is in Jesus. He assured 
 me that all the efforts of his priest to turn his 
 
 V ■ 
 
98 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 mind from this direction only drove him further 
 from that Church. 
 
 Our interview was mutually agreeable, and he 
 promised to spend a Lord's day with me, 
 requestini^ the privilege of participating with 
 the family in our afternoon seance in my study, 
 as I had not failed to inform him of our ar- 
 rangement. This privilege was readily granted, 
 and when the time arrived his presence among 
 us added nmch to the enthusiasm already 
 kindled. His language, though chaste, was 
 nevertheless considerably broken ; and when he 
 failed to express his views with sufficient 
 clearness in English, he would politely ask the 
 ladies to excuse him, while he took the liberty 
 of speaking to me in his " helle langue Fran- 
 gaise" as he called his vernacular. This gave 
 fresh interest to our subjects, and introduced a 
 novelty with which the children especially were 
 greatly delighted. Even Nora, though at first 
 a little shy of him, was charmed with the 
 urbanity of his manners. After a few prelimi- 
 naries Monsieur Grenier remarked : — 
 
 " There is one thing about Protestants I am 
 very anxious to learn {je desire ardemment 
 d apprendre) , whether there is any subject in 
 religion upon which they agree, in the main, 
 with Roman Catholics." 
 
 " There is no lack of such subjects, I assure 
 
AGREEMENTS. 
 
 99 
 
 you," I replied. " Here is one right at hand and 
 familiar to us all : it is sin. I ought, perhaps, 
 to remark at the very outset that however 
 much men may differ in their theories, they 
 generally agree in matters ot* experience. And 
 with regard to this subject of sin, Protestants 
 and Romanists perfectly agree, 
 
 " 1st. That we are all sinners ; that ' all we 
 like sheep have gone astray,' ' for all have 
 sinned and come short of the glory of God.' 
 Here there is no difference between Jew and 
 Gentile, between priest and people. 
 
 " 2nd. We agree that sin is the cause of all 
 human misery ; that it separates the soul from 
 God, and puts men at war with Him, with one 
 another, and with themselves. 
 
 " 3rd. We agree that since all sin is hateful in 
 the sight of God, it causes the fear of death ; 
 that while 'the wages of sin is death,' the 
 ' sting of death is sin ' 
 
 " 4th. We agree that no sin can enter heaven ; 
 that the soul nmst be perfectly free from sin 
 and all its stains to enter into that holy place, 
 for ' without holiness no man shall see the Lord.' 
 
 "5th. We agree that Jesus Christ became a 
 sin-offering for us ; that he is ' the Lamb of God 
 which taketh away the sin of the world.' In 
 my Little Catechism the question is asked 
 * What did Jesus Christ accomplish on the 
 
 ! 
 
TOO 
 
 SPIRIT U A L S TR V(i OL ES. 
 
 ; 
 
 ( i 
 
 n ii'i 
 
 
 1 ^ 
 
 i 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 il 
 
 
 earth ? ' The answer is, * He taught men to 
 live holy, and merited or obtained tor them the 
 grace so to do.' This we all fully hold. 
 
 " ()th. We furtlier at^ree that to ^:et rid of our 
 sins we nmst confess them. This we all believe 
 must be done with the deepest sorrow for having 
 offended God, and with a full determination to 
 abandon every sinful thing, and to live wholly 
 devoted to God. On the OOth page of my ' Petit 
 Catechisme ' is taught this wholesome truth : 
 ' Sin being the greatest of all evils, the sorrow 
 for having committed it must be the greatest of 
 all sorrows.' In this teaching we not only agree 
 with one another, but also with holy writ, 
 which says, ' He that covereth his sins shall not 
 prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh 
 them shall have mercy.' " 
 
 " But," interrupted Nora, " I have always 
 thought that Protestants did not believe at all 
 in the confession of sins ; so, at least, I have 
 been taught by our priests." 
 
 " Most assuredly we do ; we not only believe 
 in it, but practise it." 
 
 "What! in the confessional, to the ears of a 
 priest ? " 
 
 " O no, not that. And here our agreement 
 with Romanists on this sul>ject ceases ; but let 
 us discuss it in the light of reason and revelation." 
 
 " But I should like to know, ' said Luella, 
 
DTSAdUHHMHNTS. 
 
 101 
 
 I 
 
 " what tlie Roiiiisli (/luncl) teaches with regard 
 to confession.'* 
 
 "My C^atecliisiii and parents taught me as fol- 
 lows : ' That confession is a declaration which one 
 makes of his sins to a priest, in order to ohtain 
 pardon or absolution.' Such a confession is con- 
 sidered a very solemn thing, and is called the 
 ' sacrament of penance.' It is said to be neces- 
 sary to salvation, except in extreme cases. It 
 must be ' humble, sincere, and entire.' Not 
 onb"" 's each sin to be revealed, but also the 
 number of times each sin has been conniiitted 
 either in thought, word, or «leed, wath every 
 attendant circumstance, including even dreams, 
 with their effect upon waking thoughts and 
 actions. Purposely to neglect to confess any 
 sin, or even to forget a sin or grave circumstance 
 of a sin for want of sufficient self-examination, 
 would in either case constitute a sacrilege.* In 
 order to guard this point, numerous stories like 
 the following are related in nearly all their 
 books of instruction to the young : ' A young 
 lady of eighteen was guilty of a secret sin which 
 she was ashamed to confess. She was soon 
 brought upon a bed of death, ,\ ".ere she was 
 tormented and in despair. She died, and three 
 days after she appeared to one of her friends in 
 
 * Dr. (.'lialloi;.M's "Catholic Iii.stni.-t<Ml," |,. 101 
 
I 
 
 « III 
 
 102 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 a vision and spoke these words, " Do not pray 
 any more for me, sister," (this friend supposed 
 her to be in purgatory,) " I am damned on 
 account of a sin committed alone. I mii:ht have 
 easily ol)tained pardon hy confessing it, but a 
 criminal shame always led me to conceal it ; and 
 thus in abusinix confession and the blood of 
 Jesus Christ, I have brought upon myself the 
 deepest danmation." She then uttered a groan 
 and disappeared.' " 
 
 " It is also currently reported among college 
 students," said Monsieur Grenier, "that if one is 
 inclined to hide a sin from the priest, the con- 
 fessor presently sees a huge serpent's head pro- 
 truding from the sinner's mouth, and in case 
 the sin is not confessed, the serpent is withdrawn 
 into the bosom of the wretch who dares thus 
 attempt to deceive God. Then if he persists in 
 communing unworthily, the wafer will be 
 metamorphosed into an ugly toad {vun crapaud 
 difforme) on his tongue." 
 
 " Hence you can judge," I continued, " that 
 to make a thorough confession must require 
 several days of careful study, compelling one to 
 consult the long lists of questions for self- 
 examination to be found in all the prayer-books. 
 To assist the memory some persons carefully 
 write a catalogue of their sins, though they are 
 not permitted to hand this black account to the 
 
PRE PA RA TIONS FOR THE CONFESSIONAL. 1 03 
 
 priest, for with their own lips they must declare 
 it in his ear." 
 
 " But I should think people would get so 
 frightened on these occasions," said Johnnie, 
 " as to forget about all they ever did or thought." 
 
 " In order to avoid the confusion as far as 
 possible, children are sent to the confessional 
 very young, and often simply tl<at they may 
 learn how to perform or behave when they 
 come to the thing in earnest. They are also 
 thoroughly instructed beforehand by their pa- 
 rents and teachers, and the confessionals are 
 generally so arranged as to hide them entirely 
 from the view of others, while the priest can 
 be seen only through a narrow grate at which 
 he puts his ear. Tlien, versed as he is in all the 
 prevailing sins of the day and place, lie is well 
 prepared to give the penitent a thorough cate- 
 chising, which most priests always do. In this 
 way treacherous memories are quickened." 
 
 " O, I remembe^ that you showed us two con- 
 fessionals in St. Joseph's," said Luella. " They 
 looked like large portable wardrobes, with a 
 partition through the middle, making two little 
 rooms, with a small grate between them, about 
 opposite to the head of a person sitting in a 
 chair." 
 
 " You have described them perfectly. Some- 
 times, however, they consist of one apartment, 
 
 ' 
 
104 
 
 SPIRIT UAL STIi UGGLES. 
 
 enclosed by a thick curtain. 1 liave myself 
 frequently been to confession in such a place, 
 ',vhere I knelt right by the side of the priest. 
 Kirwan,' in his letters to Bishop Hughes, 
 giving some of his early impressions upon this 
 subject, says, ' Father M. frequently held his 
 confessions at our house. He sat in a dark room 
 up stairs with one or more candles on a table 
 before him. Those ii'oino; to confession followed 
 each other on their knees from the front door, 
 through the hall, up the stairs, and to the door 
 of the room. My turn came ; I entered the 
 room, from which the light of day was excluded, 
 and bowed myself before the priest. He made 
 over me the sign of the cross, and after saying 
 something in Latin, he ordered me to commence 
 the detail of my sins. Such was my fright that 
 my memory soon failed in bringing up my past 
 delinquencies. He would prompt me, and ask. 
 Did you do this thing, or that thing ? I would 
 answer yes, or no. And when I could say no 
 more, he would wave his hand over me and 
 again utter some words in Latin, and dismiss 
 me.' Thus, like ' Kirwan, I was sent many 
 times to confession when I was young, and as I 
 was quick to learn I soon became very thorough 
 and accurate. And though the law of the 
 Church requires confession but once a year, 
 enjoining it as a special duty of the Lenten 
 
 I 
 
 I I 
 
 :,i: 
 
CONFESS TO THK ONE OFFENDED. 105 
 
 season, I followed the exainp'o of tliose who 
 confess nearly every week. " 
 
 "All this accords perfectly with my own 
 experience," said Monsieur Orenier, " but really 
 I would like to know what Protestants teach 
 about confession." 
 
 " Simply this, that we are to confess to the 
 being or person whom we have oilended. This 
 is the only rule of Scripture, and it accords 
 perfectly with reason. ' Confess your faults one 
 to another,' said James. This compels the 
 priest to confess to the people, as well as the 
 people to him. The rule is further explained 
 by our blessed Saviour as follows : ' If thy 
 brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell 
 him his fault between thee and him alone.' 
 Not a word is to be said to the Church, including 
 its pastor, until all other means have failed, and 
 then the whole Church is to be a witness, or sit 
 as a jury. In his sermon on the mount Christ 
 said, ' Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the 
 altar and' there rememberest that thy brother 
 hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift 
 before the altar, and go thy way ; first be 
 reconciled to thy brother.' Now the priest is 
 supposed to be at the altar, but this connnand 
 sends him away from the altar to confess to his 
 brother and be reconciled, without the inter- 
 ference of the priest. Again, we read in the 
 
 W-' ■'{ 
 
 ^\ 
 
106 
 
 SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 imm 
 
 Gospel, 'Then came Peter to him and said, 
 Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me 
 and I forgive him ? till seven times ? ' Mark, 
 that Peter speaks of personal offences. Jesus 
 tells him that in such cases he must forgive 
 ' seventy times seven.' " 
 
 " What, father," quickly inquired Johnnie, 
 " four hundred and ninety times ? " 
 
 " Yes, my son. This is probably the product 
 of ' sacred numbers,' as they are called, meaning 
 that in no case are we to retain resentment 
 toward a sincere penitent. This is further 
 illustrated in the Lord's prayer by the petition, 
 ' Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them 
 that trespass against us.' " 
 
 " These passages evidently relate to offences 
 between man and man," again said Monsieur 
 Grenier, " in which satisfaction or restitution is 
 to be made ; but how is it with sins against a 
 community ? " 
 
 "Apply the rule given before: Confession 
 must be made to the community. And only 
 this kind of confession, except in case of personal 
 offences, was known even in the Roman Catholic 
 Church until the days of Pope Leo the Great." * 
 
 " And was he indeed the first,' spoke Monsieur 
 Grenier quite indignantly, " who delivered over 
 
 * See the following authorities : Bingham, Orig. Eccl., book 
 -wiii., chiiji. iii. DailU, D'' Couffss. Auricular, iv. 25, etc. 
 
SCRIP TUBES FALSELY APPLIED. 107 
 
 the conscience of the people into the hands of 
 the priests, and consigned the most secret acts 
 and thoughts of individual imperfection to the 
 torture of private inquisition and scrutiny ! " 
 
 " And yet," I added, " the present authorities 
 of the Church quote the following passages in 
 answer to the question, ' What Scripture do you 
 bring to recommend the confession of our sins 
 to God's ministers ? " * Here is the first : ' When 
 a man or woman shall commit any ;sin that men 
 commit, to do a trespass against the Lord, and 
 that person be guilty, then they shall confess 
 their sin which they have done." Num. v. G, 7. 
 Now, as no priest is mentioned in this passage, 
 unless auricular confession can be proved from 
 some other passage it does not answer the above 
 question, but serves only to mislead. But 
 auricular confession cannot be maintained from 
 the Old Testament ; hence the Rev. Dr. Challoner 
 has misapplied the word of God, as the above 
 confession was undoubtedly public. The second 
 passage he adduces is the example of the people 
 who came to John the Baptist, and were 
 baptized of him, ' confessing their sins.' Matt, 
 iii. 0. Now, we may ask, If this was auricular 
 confession, of whom had John learned the 
 practice ? and where was his confessional, with 
 
 * Chnlloner's "Catholic Instrurt.Ml," [.p. 91). 100. 
 
I OS 
 
 SP] HIT UAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 time to attend to these multitudes? St. Luke, 
 in tlie tliird eliapter of his Gospel, makes the 
 whole matter simple, by representing the people 
 generally, then the publicans, and lastly the 
 soldiers, as asking, ' And what shall we do ? ' 
 Their confessions were evidently public, as their 
 offences had been, and as were also his instruc- 
 tions to them. Dr. Ohalloner brings forw^ard 
 also that injunction of James, ' Confess your 
 faults one to another ' — a passage which I have 
 already sufficiently explained — and concludes 
 his answer with this text : ' And many that 
 believed came, and confessed, and showed their 
 deeds.' Acts xix. 18. This case at Ephesus was 
 very similar to that of John the Baptist at 
 Jordan, and is susceptible of a like explanation. 
 There is not the least intimation of confession to 
 a priest or an apostle, nor of confession in 
 private, but rather of a public and open acknow- 
 ledgment." 
 
 " But what of offences against God only ? " 
 inquired I^ora, who had been listening with 
 intense interest. 
 
 " Apply the rule already given, Nora, for it is 
 invariable and simple. If you offend God only, 
 confess to God only. The Psalmist David con- 
 fessed, crying, ' Against thee, thee only, have I 
 sinned, and done this evil in thy sight.' In an- 
 other passage he exclaims, ' I acknowledged my 
 

 CHRIST ONLY PRIEST. 
 
 ion 
 
 sin unto thee, and my iniquity have I not hid. I 
 said, I will confess my transgressions unto tlie 
 Lord, and thou t'orgavest the ini(|uity of my sin.' " 
 
 " I see that no priest appears here between 
 God and man ; but this was the rule of Old 
 Testament times," said Nora. 
 
 " Christ the crucified is the Alpha and Omega 
 of the new dispensation. In the olden time the 
 priests occupied a much more imposing relation 
 than the ministers of Christ do now, though never 
 that of confessors. They received and offered 
 the sacrifices of the people, and made prayers 
 and supplications for them. But all those 
 ceremonies, as also the p.iest and the sacrifice, 
 were only types of Christ, pointing to him, and 
 they were fulfilled, abolished, and lost in him. 
 And so the Apostle Paul, in all his epistles, and 
 especially in that to the Hebrews, many of whom 
 clung so tenaciously to the old ritual, most con- 
 clusively proves that Christ is not only exalted 
 far above angels, Abraham, Moses, and even 
 Aaron and his lineal priesthood, but that by his 
 vicarious sufl^erings and sacrificial <leath he has 
 forever abolished the ' law of carnal ordinances,' 
 that is, the law of a human priesthood and of 
 animal ofterings ; and that now, having offered 
 one sacrifice for sins forever, that is, one; never 
 to be repeated, himself the Victim and Ofien^r, 
 he has become our only priest, the true slieplierd 
 
 I 
 
 Jh 
 
 fP n 
 
110 
 
 SPIRITUAL STBUGOLES. 
 
 and bishop of our aouls, able to save them to the 
 uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing 
 He ever liveth to make intercession for them ; 
 made a high-priest forever after the order of 
 Melchisedek, not after the law of a carnal com- 
 mandment, but after the power of an endless life." 
 
 " How delighted I am," (que je suis chavnie,) 
 exclaimed Monsieur Grenier, " to be told what 
 it now seems to me must be the substance of 
 those sacred writings of Paul which, though 
 twenty-three years of age, I have never read ! 
 These truth p not only show that priestly inter- 
 vention between a soul and God is positively 
 unscriptural, but also that the so-called sacrifice 
 of the mass, which th( Catechism teaches is ' the 
 offering of the body and blood of Jesus Christ, 
 made by a priest unto God,' or ' that in the mass 
 there is offered to God a true, and proper propi- 
 tiatory sacrifice for the living and the dead '^ — 
 that such a service, of which the Roman Catholic 
 Church makes so much, is unmeanii if not 
 farcical, and calculated to hide the great and all- 
 sufficient sacrifice of Calvfi-ry behind the rubbish 
 of priestly power and ritualistic gibberish." 
 
 " Be this as it may," I added, " the mass, with 
 its priestly sacrifices, is plainly anti-scriptural. 
 Our Saviour himself, and his apostles after him, 
 
 * " Grounds of Catholu- Faith," p. 48. 
 
CHRIST THE MED I AT OB. 
 
 Ill 
 
 endeavoured to show this by removing every 
 object or person that might possibly obscure or 
 obstruct spiritual communion between (jrod and 
 man. In his parable of the prodigal son the 
 Saviour represents the penitent one as coming 
 directly to the Father. Prostrate before him he 
 confesses, ' Father, I have sinned against heaven 
 and before thee.' Where is the priest to hear his 
 confession i* He is not even so nnich as named 
 in this pearl of parables, this gospel in the 
 Gospel, nor anywhere else in the Scriptures, in 
 the relation of confessor between the sinner and 
 his God. Paul sets the royal seal to this subject 
 when he says, ' There is one ( jod, and one 
 Mediator between God and man, the man Christ 
 Jesus.' And Peter adds, ' Neither is there 
 salvation in any other ; for there is none other 
 name under heaven given among men, whereby 
 we must be saved.' " 
 
 With these good texts to meditate upon, after 
 a brief season of prayer, our interview was closed. 
 
 ■i- 
 
 hi 
 
 
mm 
 
 jl 
 
 VII. 
 
 POAVER OP THE CoNFESSIONAL — NoHA IN TrOURLK-- 
 TKHRinLK P].SPIONA(JE — ARROGANCE OK PoWER — 
 
 "Whatsoever Ye shall Bind on Earth, etc." - 
 This the Gordian-Knot — Diogenes — Blessed 
 
 ]jAM!3 of Calvary. 
 
 All power is g'iven unto me in heaven and in earth. — (Jnr High Priest. 
 
 In the earlv part of the week Nora had 
 §|ffl| I received a letter from her parents, who 
 B^ reside in New York city, calling her 
 ^M|'^' home in haste to see lier mother, who 
 ^^'^ was reported to be dangerously ill. She 
 returned Friday, and, what was not a little 
 strange, instead of going to work as usual, she 
 came directly to my room, where she found me 
 engaged in study. She appeared pleased at first 
 to see me, passed the compliments of the day, 
 hut with a strange air remarked that her mother 
 was not sick as they had written her, hut that 
 this was done as a ruse to get her home. I 
 (|uickly saw that something was wrong ; so 
 desiring to talk over the matter, I asked her to 
 sit down a moment, wliich she did, but in doing 
 
POWEIi OF THE l'().\'Ft:SSlONAL 
 
 W'A 
 
 so she buried her face in her hands and bep:an 
 to weep. 
 
 ''What is the matter, Nora r' I asked; "is 
 there anytliing that 1 can do for you !' " 
 
 " O no, sir," she replied, ahnost choking with 
 her sobs, " but 1 have come in to tell you that 1 
 can work for you no longer, but must leave you ; " 
 and she sobbed again, and aloud. 
 
 After waiting some minutes for her great grief 
 to subside, I asked, " Nora, is the work too 
 hard for you here, or is your pay insufficient ? " 
 
 " no, sir. With all these I am perfectly 
 satisfied." 
 
 " Has any member of the family — myself, the 
 mistress, or the children — in any way abused or 
 offended you ? " 
 
 " No, indeed ! I was never treated with more 
 uniform kindness in my life." 
 
 " Why is it, then, that you want to leave us ? " 
 
 " O, sir, I have not said that / luanted to leave 
 you, but I must." So saying, she again began to 
 weep violently. 
 
 " Now, Nora, I confess I can scarcely under- 
 stand you. There appears to be a mystery hang- 
 ing over this matter. I cannot think, however, 
 that you are willing to leave us without even 
 intimatinjr it beforehand, as was the under- 
 standing you should do when you came here, and 
 without assigning any reasons why." 
 8 
 
 
 ii 
 
 I 
 
 1, f 
 
114 
 
 SPTRITUA L STRUGGLES. 
 
 " C), how can 1 ovor tell you, thougli I know 1 
 ought to ! " And here, seemingly absorbed with 
 her own oriet's. and as thou<di slie were alone, 
 she exclaimed, " (), holy St. Patrick, patron and 
 protector of my peopUi, why am I left to be the 
 prey of torments like these ! " 
 
 "Never mind St. Patrick now, nor any other 
 saint, Nora. Try to gi t ([uiet ; put your trust in 
 the blessed Jesus, and do what you know is 
 right, and you will find that rest to your con- 
 science which you cannot otherwise oljtain. If 
 you feel that for the sake of truth, for our sake, 
 and your own, you ought to tell us all about this 
 trouble, do so plainly." 
 
 By this time Mrs. Beaudry, who from the hall 
 had heard Nora's sobs, had come in, and, 
 learning that her grief was caused by feeling 
 herself, as it were, forced to leave us, became 
 greatly interested in the matter. 
 
 The troubled girl hesitated for some time, but 
 at length a radiance seemed to light up her face, 
 though swollen with tears and grief, as when a 
 summer shower is speedily followed by golden 
 sunbeams that light up the last falling raindrops 
 into gems of beauty, and gild the trail of the 
 retiring clouds ; and then, like one who has 
 reached a great victory in a moral struggle, she 
 exclaimed, " I somehow begin to feel as though 
 I had suffered my conscience to be trampled 
 
f^OFA TN TFOUBLE. 
 
 115 
 
 under foot by others, while it seems as if Ood 
 alone ought to be above conscience. 1 certainly 
 can't tell you exactly why, Init now I feel (juite 
 free to tell yo;i all al)out this thini; which has 
 caused nie so n:uc]> grief, and awakened, I see, 
 great anxiety in your own minds." 
 
 "Tliat's right, Nora," said Mrs. Beaudry ; 
 " speak the truth, tlie wliole truth, an<l nothing 
 but the trutli." 
 
 " I'll try, ma'am. A few days before I re- 
 ceived the letter telling me the story of mother's 
 sickness, some Koman (Jatholic friends — no, I'll 
 call them enemies — in the neighborhood, who 
 had found out that i was becoming interested in 
 those talks of Mr. Beaudry on his experience, 
 wrote to my parents, telling them all about it. 
 Wlien 1 readied home 1 found my mother in 
 tears — she was really sick at heart — and my 
 father was so angry that he made all manner of 
 threats against me, if I wouldn't go and confess 
 it all to -our parish priest. I hesitated some 
 time, but at length went. O what a horrid 
 experience I had there I Of course, according 
 to the rules of our Church, I didn't dare hide 
 anything from him." 
 
 " Nor need you vie late any obligation of 
 secrecy in the confessional for our sakes, Nora," 
 I added, lest her conscience; might become un- 
 necessarily entangled. 
 
 
116 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " But I must tell you the whole story to 
 relieve iny own mind, aiul lest you blame me 
 for sayiiio- that I must leave you. One of the 
 tirst things the priest <li(l was to in(|uire all 
 about you. He then said he had Inward of you 
 before, and of nuiny others the likes of you 
 throuf^hout the country. After askin;; me many 
 questions concerning your religion, and your 
 meetings in the study, all about which he 
 seemed to know beforehand, I tried to tell him 
 that, by what \ had seen in your family, 1 
 thought you nuist be a good (-hristian man, 
 when he grew into a hot rage, and, interrupting 
 me, cried, ' Hush, you almost-Protestant ! You 
 utter blasphemy ! Talk about a good heretic ! 
 You might as well say a pioits devil. That 
 man is a turncoat, a Judas,' and thus he went 
 on talking, and he looked so angrily at me that 
 1 fairly trembled ; and he ordered me to leave 
 your family at once, or he would call all the 
 curses of God to fiiU upon me, I was so 
 frightened, that to obtain his absolution I 
 promised to do as he commanded me. ?^ow this 
 is the cause of my tears, for I had rather do 
 anything I know of than to leave you : " and 
 again a cloud of sorrow^ seemed to fall upon 
 her. 
 
 " But, Nora," I proceeded to say, " do as you 
 think is right. Obey God rather than man. If 
 
PlilES TLY ESP ION A GE. 
 
 117 
 
 conscience says ' Go,' don't waver, though it will 
 1)0 a ^reat sacrifice for us all." 
 
 " You are very kind to speak so to me ; hut, 
 (), that I onlv knew what to do !" After some 
 iiioiiients of silent thoughtfulness she joyfully 
 exclaimed, " T know what to do. I'll not go 
 and leave you. I just now recollect seeing 
 in some of our Catachisms, that if a person 
 through fear or compulsion should make a 
 rash vow, it is only adding sin to sin to keep 
 such a promise. I'll do right, at any cost of 
 pain or loss, God helping me." 
 
 At this interesting denov.eiiwnt she made each 
 of us a polite courtesy, and smiling, retired to 
 her room. 
 
 " Now, P arlie," (for this is Mrs. Beaudry's 
 given name,) " what do you think of priestly 
 power ? " 
 
 " Why, I had no conception of it before. Now 
 I see by what means the priests obtain their 
 wide information and great iniiuence. Their 
 operations of espionage, T can now imagine, are 
 reduced to a system so perfect that there is not 
 a person of wealth, or social standing, or 
 political or religious influence in the land, who 
 may not be perfectly well known at head- 
 quarters, even to the minutest thing in his 
 history or conduct." 
 
 So saying, she went out to attend to her do- 
 
118 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 mestic cares, leaving me alone to meditate upon 
 this strange yet not uncommon event. Nora 
 continued to work as usual, only with an in- 
 creasing interest. 
 
 These facts being known to our company 
 greatly enlisted our sympathy for Nora, and 
 enlivened our interest in the general subject of 
 discussion. On assembling the following Sab- 
 bath, Aunt Melie remarked, " There is still 
 another subject connected with the confessional 
 on which I would like more light : and that is, 
 the power of the priest to forgive sins. Most 
 Roman Catholics with whom I have conversed 
 have told me that the priest has this power, and 
 that it is absolute ; others surround the doctrine 
 with various limitations ; while still others deny 
 it altogether." 
 
 "Their standard books," I implied, "are our 
 only safe authority in these matters." Turning 
 to Monsieur Grenier, who was again with us, I 
 asked him if he could repeat from memory what 
 his Catechism tcught upon this subject. 
 
 " Most certainly. It is only a short time since 
 I was devoutly studyiig and teaching these 
 doctrines. In the Catechism now in use in 
 Canada, I think on page 51, you may find the 
 following questions and answers : — 
 
 " ' Have the priests power to forgive sins :* ' 
 
AREOGANCE OF POWER. 
 
 119 
 
 " ' Yes, the priests have power to forgive or 
 retain sins.' 
 
 " ' Can they forgive all sins, even the most 
 enormous ? ' 
 
 " ' Yes, they can pardon all sins, even the 
 most enormous, provided they are confessed 
 with sincere contrition.' " 
 
 " Well," exclaimed Luella, " this is claiming 
 more power than Jesus himself did, for he said 
 there was one sin he could not forgive, namely, 
 the sin against the Holy Ghost ; hut the priests 
 make no such exception." 
 
 " This is most poignantly true," continued our 
 friend. " But the Catechism does not contain 
 their whole teaching on this point. In a book * 
 used in collei^e I found the following : * To remit 
 sins, to bind and to loose consciences, to produce 
 the body and blood of Jesus ( /hrist, to offer him 
 in sacrifice, to distrilmte him to the faithful, to 
 impart grace by the sacraments to the living 
 and the dying, to cast out devils : this is what 
 all the kings of the eartli cannot do ; but behold, 
 this is what the priests of the Lord can do.' 
 Then, too, in the voluminous works of Abbe 
 Jean Gaume, works approved by Romish autho- 
 rity, and highly recommended, T have found the 
 followinir: 'What human toniiue can describe 
 
 )i 
 
 PcnSt'l'S sill' It's Vt'litl'S (Ir l;i li'cli^iitli," |i. -I'JT. 
 
 !t 
 
120 
 
 SPIBIT UA L STB UGGLES. 
 
 the dignity of the priesthood and the greatness 
 of the priest ? ' Then the author proceeds to 
 speak of the power of Adam, Moses, Joshua, of 
 kings, of angels, and even of the Virgin Mary, 
 but says, * The priest has greater power than 
 them all, because they cannot, while he can, 
 absolve a soul from sin.' He continues : 'Suppose 
 the Redeemer should visibly descend in person 
 in his Church, and station himself in a con- 
 fessional to administer the sacrament of penance, 
 while a priest occupies another. The Son of God. 
 says, " .1 absolve you ; " and the priest also says, 
 " I absolve you ;" and the penitent finds himself 
 absolved just as much by the one as by the 
 other. Thus the priest, mighty like God, can 
 instantly snatch the sinner from hell, render 
 him worthy of paradise, and of a slave of the 
 devil make him a child of Abraham, and God 
 himself is obliged to submit to the judgment of 
 the priest, to refuse or to grant absolution, 
 provided the penitent is worthy of it. The 
 sentence of the priest precedes ; God subscribes 
 to it. Can any one conceive of a greater power, 
 a higher dignity ? ' 
 
 " And yet these sentiments of the Abb^ are 
 not as radical as the utterances of a Bavarian 
 priest, named Herr Kinzelmann, Roman Cat|Jiolic 
 rector of Gestrass. In a recent sermon preached 
 at Algau, and reported in the Kcmpton Gazette, 
 
 
ABBOGANOE OF POWER. 
 
 121 
 
 he said : ' We priests, we are above the govern- 
 ments, above the emperor, kings, and princes, as 
 much as the heavens are above the earth. Tlie 
 kings and princes of the earth are as far behind us 
 priests as lead is distant from the purest goki. 
 The ano-els and archanirels are nuich below 
 priests ; for we can, in the face of Ood, pardon 
 sins, which they have never been able to do. 
 We are above the Mother of God, for Mary 
 never gave birth to Christ but once, while we 
 priests, we create and produce him every day. 
 Again, to a certain degree, the priests are above 
 God himself ; for God nmst be, at any time and 
 in every place, at our disposal ; he nuist, on 
 being ordered, descend from heaven at the con- 
 secration of the mass. God, it is true, has 
 created the world by using these words : " Be it ; " 
 but we, with t'.iese words, create God himself.' " 
 " Thank ^ ou, Monsieur Grenier, for the 
 information I desired," replied Aunt Melie. 
 " But is it not d'^eadful to contemplate such 
 arrogance of power ! It is the legitimate fruit 
 of the system, however. Here we see the ful- 
 filment of Paul's prophecy concerning ' the 
 falling away, and the revelation of that man of 
 sin and son of perdition, who opposeth and 
 exalteth himself above all that is called God, or 
 that is worshipped ; so that he as God sitteth in the 
 temple of God, showing himself that he is God.' " 
 
 -N 
 
I 
 
 Is 
 
 m 
 
 111 
 
 122 
 
 SPIRITUAL STEUGGLEb. 
 
 " Now," added Nora, " I have always been 
 made to believe that the priests have all power. 
 If the priests cannot pardon sin, I should !'ke 
 to know who can ? " 
 
 As she uttered these words, as a matter of 
 course all eyes were turned toward me for an 
 answer, and so I replied, "Ail Scriptures bear- 
 ing- upon this (question teach us that the pardon- 
 ing power resides with God alone. So David 
 said, ' Thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin.' 
 Jolm, ' If we confess our sins, he is faithful and 
 just to foro'ive us our sins.' The sauie is true in 
 a civil point of view. Before the law, an 
 oii'ender can be pardoned only by the chief 
 magistrate having jurisdiction, the Governor in 
 tlie State, the President in the United States. 
 So, Jesus Christ, who is Lord of lords and King 
 of kings, alone has the power to forgive him 
 who has trespassed upon his Divine law. So 
 when Clirist had said to the paralytic, ' Thy 
 sins be forgiven thee,' the Pliarisees murmured 
 aojainst liim, and exclaimed, ' Wlio can forijive 
 sins but God only ? ' This passage proves two 
 things : first, that priestly absolutions formed no 
 part of tlie Jewish creed ; and, secondly, that if 
 Clu'ist had been onlv a man, the Pliarisees would 
 have been justified in charging blasphemy upon 
 liim. But then, to show forth his supreme 
 divinity in the presence of them all, Jesus said. 
 
GOD ONLY CAN FORGIVE. 
 
 123 
 
 ' Whether is it easier, to say to the sick of the 
 palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee ; or to say. 
 Arise, and take up thy bed and walk ? But 
 that ye may know that the Son of man hatli 
 power on earth to forgive sin:-?, (he saitli to the 
 sick of the palsy,) I say unto thee. Arise, and 
 take up thy bed, and go thy way unto thy 
 house.' And it was immediately done. Both 
 by his reasoning and action Jesus proved in this 
 instance, as in many others, that to forgive sins 
 and to work miracles, such as healing the sick, 
 raising the dead, etc., are on a par with creating 
 worlds, and that these are prerogatives of the 
 Deity which he has never delegated to men. 
 He may work a. miracle by man as an instrument, 
 as he says, ' he can thrash a mountain with a 
 worm ; ' but the power does not belong to the 
 instrument, but to the arm that wields it." 
 
 "But your words remind me of two passages 
 of Scripture often quoted by the priests," inter- 
 rupted Monsieur Grenier, " which present (ques- 
 tions that to my mind are not yet clearly 
 answered." 
 
 " Please state them," I said. 
 
 " They are the words of Christ to liis apostles, 
 as recorded, I think, in the gospels by Matthew 
 and John. The first is, ' Whatsoever ye shall 
 bind on earth shall be bound in heavers ; and 
 whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall ha 
 
 '■■> 
 
 rH ? 
 
? • 
 
 SI , 
 
 -: 
 
 I 
 
 124 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRZrOOLES. 
 
 loosed in heaven.' The second is much like the 
 fiist, namely, 'Receive ye the Holy Ghost : 
 whosesoever sins ye remit, they are remitted 
 unto them ; and whosesoever sins ye retain, they 
 are retained.' The priests tell us that Christ 
 here delegated all the power that he had in 
 heaven and earth to thei.i." 
 
 " Father ! " said Johnr.ie, his countenance 
 showing no small amount of perplexity, " I fear 
 you've got a puzzle this time which you cannot 
 very easily unravel." 
 
 "Dispel your fears on my behalf, my child. 
 You must learn that many things which appear 
 difficult, and even impossible, to you now, will 
 become perfectly simple after long study and 
 experience. These passages plainly mean this : 
 That the Gospe^ truth committed to the apostles, 
 accompanied by the Holy Ghost whom Jesus 
 then breathed upon them, and whom they fully 
 received at the pentecost, is the power by which 
 men are to be saved. Look at the unequivocal 
 testimony of Jesus and his apostles on the sub- 
 ject : * Then said Jesus to those Jews which 
 believed on him, If ye continue in my word, 
 then are ye my disciples indeed ; and ye shall 
 know the truth, and the truth shall make you 
 free.' Again, in his prayer for the apostles just 
 before his crucifixion, he said, * Father, sanctify 
 them through thy truth ; thy word is truth.' In 
 
•' WHA TSOE VER STNS YE BE TA IN,' E Tf '. 1 25 
 
 his final commission to them he said, ' liu ye 
 into all the world and preach the Gospel to every 
 creature. He that believeth and is baptized 
 shall be saved ; but he that believeth not shall 
 be damned.' " 
 
 " O ! I see it, I see it now," almost shouted 
 Monsieur Grenier, (|uite in a rhapsody ; "wh(^ther 
 a man be saved or lost depends upon his either 
 receiving by faith, or rejecting, the Gospel." 
 
 " That's it exactly. It is a simple truth, but 
 mighty." 
 
 " Why I you said before, it is CJod forgives 
 sins ; now you say men are saved through the 
 truth," said Nora, somewdiat perplexed. 
 
 " The truth, by whomsoever it is made known, 
 Nora, is the voice of God. Hear what Paul 
 says about it : ' The Gospel is the power of God 
 unto salvation to every one that believeth.' 
 Again, ' So we preach, and so ye believe.' 
 Peter offers his testimony as follows, and cer- 
 tainly you ought to consider that valid : ' Seeing 
 ye have purified ^''our souls in obeying the truth 
 through the Spirit. . . . Being born again, not 
 of corruptible seed, but incorruptiV)le ; by the 
 word of God, which liveth and abideth forever.' 
 Jesus further taught, * If I had not come and 
 spoken unto them, they had not had sin, but 
 now they have no cloak for their sin.' So you 
 see that no small responsibility is thrown upon 
 
 » I 
 
12(1 
 
 SPIBITUA L .S TR UGG L ES. 
 
 I ifl 
 
 the hearer of the Gospel. It* we believe and 
 obey the truth, our sins are forgiven, and we 
 are cleansed from all unrighteousness, by the 
 power of God speaking to us in the truth ; but 
 if we reject the trutli, our sins are not only re- 
 tained against us in h<,aven, but our guilt is 
 greatly increased by our k'nowledge. ' To the 
 one,' then says Paid, 'we are a savour of death 
 unto death, and to the other a savour of life unto 
 life/ No minister of the Gospel is more than a 
 feeble instrument in the hands of God in accom- 
 plishing this work, if I bring water to a man 
 who is almost <lying of thirst — as I often did in 
 the army, on battle-fields — he may say that I 
 saved his life, but it was God's pure beverage 
 that did it. The priest is not the water nor the 
 bread of life ; he can only tell of them or distri- 
 bute them. The knowledge of this orace is the 
 key which Christ is said to have given to Peter, 
 and which, though abused, he tells us was never- 
 theless in the hands of the Jewish people. He 
 Haid to them, ' Woe unto you, lawyers ! for ye 
 have taken away the key of knowledge : ye 
 entered not in yourselves, and them that were 
 entering in ye hindered.' The parallel passage in 
 Matthew amplifies the thought : ' Woe unto you, 
 scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites ! for ye shut 
 the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye 
 neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them 
 
TRUTH THE KEY 
 
 127 
 
 that are cntorino- to i^u in.' 'I'liesc woes were 
 pronounced upon tlieui because tliey not only 
 rejected Clnist and his Gospel, but soui^lit to 
 prevent others from receiving him. lUit the 
 passages sliow tliat Gospel truth is the key of 
 the kingdom of (fod. Whosoever receives tlie 
 truth in the love of it enters in. The key, then, 
 is not only in the hands of Peter, or with the 
 ministers of the Gospel, but in the hands of all 
 men who know the truth." 
 
 "But did not (Jhrist design to convey more 
 power to the twelve than toother believers >* " 
 asked Monsieur Grenier. 
 
 "Only in this: They were to decide in 
 council assembled, as we see in the Acts of the 
 Apostles, what doctrines were orthodox, and thty 
 were made the custodians or superintendents of 
 discipline in the Church. Paid explains the 
 relation of the Apostles to the churches as 
 follows : " Not for that 'ive have dominion over 
 your faiti/, but are helpers of your joy: for by 
 faith ye stand." And Peter adds, in his epistle, 
 speaking to the elders : " Feed the flock of God 
 which is among you, taking the oversight there- 
 of, not by constraint, but willingly ; not for 
 filthy lucre, but of a ready mind ; neither as 
 being lords over God's hei'itage, but being en- 
 samples to the flock." And it is further evident 
 that all their decisions were in accordance with 
 
 
 li- 
 
^Tj 
 
 ; 
 1 
 
 ji: 
 
 I! . 
 ii ' 
 
 J2?s 
 
 SPIUITUA L S Tli UGGLES. 
 
 a vote of the whole Church or flock. But the 
 only keys that open heaven and hel) are in the 
 liands of .lesus, who is heard saying to the 
 revelator, 'I am he that liveth, and was dead ; 
 and l)eho]d, I aui alive for evermore, amen ; and 
 have the keys of hell and of death.'" 
 
 " i ([uestion somewhat, after liearing your 
 remarks," said Mrs. Beaudry, *' whether the title 
 of priest belongs to a Christian minister." 
 
 " I am sure it does not," 1 replied. " The 
 prophet of the Old Testament w^as a type of the 
 preacher of the New ; the priest was a type of 
 Christ. The great Master said to his apostles, 
 * Go, and preach the Gospel, teaching those who 
 believe to ol>serve all things whatsoever I have 
 commanded you.' So Paid says, * Christ sent 
 me not to baptize, but to preach the Gospel,' 
 ' for we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus 
 the Lord ; and ourselves your servants,' (not 
 your priests and lords,) * for Jesus' sake,' and 
 ' we have this treasure in earthen vessels that 
 the excellency of the power may be of God, and 
 not of us.' The minister is not the way — he may 
 simply indicate it by word and deed. He can- 
 not pardon sin, but he can point out the Pardoner. 
 He is simply the voice of one, and that voice an 
 echo from heaven, crying in the wilderness of 
 the world, ' Behold the Lamb of God.' Like a 
 crystal drop in the sky, hidden from mortal gaze, 
 
THE BLESSED LAMB. 
 
 129 
 
 yet so controlled by the divine Artist as to paint 
 the resplendent rainhow, that golden girdle of 
 the Almighty, upon the hrow of evening ; so the 
 minister of Christ is to be merely a reflector of 
 God's truth and glory. A tongue of fire to 
 speak of Ood was not only the stupendous 
 miracle of the pentecost, Imt it is the fittest 
 symbol for the Gospel ministry, the talisman of 
 the new covenant. Only Christ Ciin say, 'Unto 
 me all power is given,' therefore ' come unto me 
 all ye that labour and are heavy laden ; ' for 
 ' him hath God exalted with his right hand to 
 be a Prince and a Saviour for, to give repentance 
 to Israel, and forgiveness of sins.' " 
 
 " Now, then," added Luella, " is fulfilled the 
 word of Christ : ' As Moses lifted up the serpent 
 in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man 
 be lifted up, that whosoever believeth in him 
 should not perish, but have eternal life.' " 
 
 "And, indeed, is this all there is of salvation," 
 cried Monsieur Grenier, " to look to the Crucified 
 and Risen One, and live ? " 
 
 " This is all," I replied. " There is life for a 
 look at the (.'rucified One, for he says, ' Look 
 unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the 
 earth : for I am God, and there is none else.' 
 The minister's duty, then, is simply to cry, 
 ' Behold the Lamb,' and to stand aside or hide 
 away, lest he should attract or obstruct the 
 
 H' 
 
 • , t 
 
 ¥\ 
 
 !•-, ; t 
 
 ;i 
 
 
1 I 
 
 1 !'' 
 
 IH. 
 ■1!' 
 
 W 
 
 t 
 
 i' 
 
 
 i' 
 
 i 
 
 i 
 
 ! 
 
 L 
 
 i 
 
 ' i 
 
 130 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGOLES. 
 
 sinner's gaze. There was beauty and force 
 in the remark of the philosopher Diogenes to 
 Alexander the (Tre.^t, who stood in his sunshine 
 when he was asked by the latter what he 
 wanted. The (Jynie replied, ' I want you to 
 stand out of my sunshine, and not to take from 
 me what you cannot give me.' The sinner must 
 be left alone with his Ood." Inspired by these 
 simple yet weighty truths, we closed our inter- 
 view with this appropriate stanza, each one 
 singing with strange delight : — 
 
 " ] am trustiTi<f, Lord, in thee ; 
 Blessed Lnmb of Calvary ! 
 Humbly at thy cross I bow — 
 Jesus saves me, saves me now. " 
 
 CT^Q^^^^O 
 
VIII. 
 
 The Confessional on Priest axd Peoi'le — Who can 
 Judge the Conscience? — Political Argument — 
 .Moral Influence — Council of Trent — People in 
 Abject Fear — Secrets — Weakness. 
 
 Be not deceive<l ; 
 
 evil fomiiiunications corrupt jfO(xl inanncrs. — Paul 
 tn the Corinth i'lin. 
 
 .^HE time had been so short since our last 
 (itlfe assembly, that meeting the same persons 
 in the same place, and under similar 
 circumstances, made it seem as if this 
 '^'^^ gathering was only a continuation of 
 the previous one. Our preliminaries were very 
 brief, for every one appeared so anxious to 
 enter the confessional, not to confess their sins, 
 but to draw from me the information which I 
 had partly pledged myself to give, that T was 
 compelled to begin at once, which T did as 
 follows : 
 
 " Auricular confession, as introduced by Pope 
 Leo, was so evidently a corruption of apostolical 
 teaching and practice, that it took many years 
 
 Irish 
 
 to enforce it throughout the Ohuicli. 
 
 The 
 
iV 
 
 m 
 
 1 
 
 ' I 
 
 I ' 
 1 1 
 
 132 
 
 SPIRITUAL ^TBIJGGLFS. 
 
 Church particularly long withstood the innova- 
 tion. But now the authorities of the Church 
 endeavour — how successfully has already been 
 shown — to prove the practice from Scripture ; 
 but conscious of the weakness of their position, 
 they resort to what they call ' The spiritual 
 benefits of the sacrament of penance.' " 
 
 "Pray tell us what these benefits are," said 
 Luella. 
 
 Before J had time to answer, the door-bell 
 was rung-. Nora ran down, and soon returned 
 with a, card, which bore the well-known auto- 
 graph of " Mr. W." He v as a descendant of 
 Pennsylvania Quakers, a graduate of Yale Col- 
 lege, and had S2)ent the two years following his 
 graduation in the study of law. But when he 
 came to enter upon the practice of it he found 
 so much trickery in the profession that his con- 
 scientious scHiples did not allow him to continue 
 therein. After spending some tiuu^ in foreign 
 tra,vel he devoted liimself to teachinij', in which 
 avocation lie had few superiors. He was now 
 the principal of our school, and familiarly 
 named " Professor." 
 
 I went down to the parlour and met him. 
 As I entered, he arose and said, " Though not a 
 member of any Church, J d(> not Itelieve in 
 Sunday calls, agreeing perfectly with your 
 sentiments on that subject as expres.-sed in youv 
 
THE PROFESSOR. 
 
 183 
 
 morning discourse. But- from a few remarks I 
 heard from Miss liisclla and her brother at 
 school, 1 feel a deep interest in your Sunday 
 afternoon interviews now held in your family, 
 and I have come to recpiest the privilege of being 
 a listener, if it he not asking too uiuch, or in- 
 truding upon sacred privacies." 
 
 " You are welcome, Professor, not only as an 
 auditor, but as a fidl participant in our conversa- 
 tions. Thus far, at least, there has been nothing 
 said which we arr^not willing should be widely 
 known. Come itf, please, to the study with me, 
 and I trust you may be able to impart as well as 
 to receive instruction." 
 
 The Professor scarcely needed an introduction, 
 except to Monsieur Orenier, and, liecause of his 
 affable yet unobtrusive manners, every one felt 
 perfectly at home in his presence. Taking a 
 seat, he asked pardon for havini interrupted us, 
 and expressed the h(3))e that he might not again 
 be guilty of a like offence. 
 
 I told him that we had j\ist commenced our 
 conversation, ami that the l)ell rang just as I 
 was about to answer Luella's (|uestion as to 
 what were the so-called beneiits of the sacra- 
 ment of penance, or the moral influence of 
 auricular confession. He nodded assent, as 
 nuich as to say, this question perfectly suits me, 
 and I began: '• Th(»re is, no doubt, a certain 
 
I 
 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 t 
 
 134 
 
 I I ;i 
 
 I 
 
 SPIRTTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 class in the r'burch upon which this practice has, 
 at least for a time, a salutary influence. They 
 are restrained from the grosser vices l>y the 
 dread they have of tlie uplnaidino's of their 
 confessor, accompanied, it may V)e, with his 
 refusal of absolution. A ycnith of my ac([uaint- 
 ance, who was enticed to the counnission of a 
 great sin, replied, ' Wait till after Easter, when 
 I have made my confession and connnuned.' 
 Many also fear the penances which are always 
 enjoined, even though absolution is granted. 
 These consist in frequent repetition of lengthy 
 prayers, or in reading the 'seven penitential 
 psalms,' which Galileo was compelled to recite 
 every week for three yeais in succession — or in 
 protracted and painfid fastings. Sometimes 
 public humiliations are imposed, such as was 
 inflicted upon a scliool-mate of mine, who was 
 compelled to kneel in the middle of the broad 
 central aisle of the church, where everybody 
 could see him, and where he remained during 
 the entire service of the mass, for at least an 
 hour, with his head bowed almost to the floor. 
 This was repeated several times. Occasionally 
 the penance consists in going barefoot on long 
 pilgrimages, or with peas or something else in 
 one's shoes to hurt or annoy. Frequently such 
 suflerings are self-imj)osed ; and some have gone 
 so far as to severely flog themselves, or even to 
 
THE BRASS KETTLE. 
 
 135 
 
 wear a wide iron girdle tight around their body, 
 producing excruciating torture." 
 
 "I had an uncle," said Nora, "who nearly 
 killed himself by doing penance. He was a 
 very devoted man, and we sometimes called him 
 a saint." 
 
 " Furthermore," I continued, " the confessional 
 has sometimes assisted in recovering stolen pro- 
 perty. For instance, a lady of my acquaintance, 
 by the name of Forsyth, residing in Keeseville, 
 N. Y., had a brass kettle stolen bv her washer- 
 woman, as she supposed, who, however, denied 
 the charge. Mrs. F. reported her conviction to 
 the parish priest, whom she knew. The first 
 time this wayward penitent appeared in the 
 confessional, the priest, of course, watched for 
 the brass kettle. The woman seemed to have 
 closed her confession, when the priest asked, 
 ' And is there nothing more ? ' * Nothing more, 
 my ghostly father,' she replied. ' Hark ! ' said 
 the priest, ' what sound is this I hear like the 
 rattling of a brass kettle ? ' Nothinoj more was 
 necessary. Overwhelmed by her superstitious 
 dread of the priest's supposed supernatural 
 knowledge and power, she confessed the whole, 
 and the next morning Mrs. Forsyth found her 
 kettle by the kitchen door." 
 
 '* Don't you wish we could be as successful in 
 
 
 ;!■ 
 
 ■ ! 
 
1 I 
 
 1 '• 'I 
 
 i 
 
 im 
 
 SPIRI T UA L .S' TR UG GLES. 
 
 finding the linen which was taken by onr 
 washer-woman ? " asked Luella. 
 
 " Certainly ; but the remedy is not always so 
 sure as i*i this instance." 
 
 "But is there no spiritual i;ood in th^^ cont'es- 
 aional?" impiired Mrs. Beaudry. 
 
 " Undoul)tedly ; there are times when persons 
 under peculiar temptations or weaknesses may 
 })e properly advised or assisted." 
 
 " But are these advantages sufficient to com- 
 pensate for what we know to be its evils ? " 
 asked Aunt Melie. 
 
 " By no means. Xow, in order the ilietter to 
 understand the subject, let us look, Urst, at the 
 influence of the confessi(mal on the priest. The 
 supernatural power with which it is assumed he 
 is invested is enough to fill any human heart 
 with pride, and to intoxicate any l)rain with self- 
 conceit. Arrayed in the insignia of his autho- 
 rity, he sits in the confessional as a god upon a 
 throne of judgment, and not as a man. In the 
 book called ' Grounds,' page 29 — and there is no 
 better Papal authority — it is written : ' (Christ 
 has made the pastors of his Church his judges 
 in the court of conscience, with conunission and 
 authority to bind or loose, to forgive or to retain 
 sins, according to the merits of the cause, and 
 the disposition of the penitents. Now, as no 
 judge can pass sentence without a full know- 
 
WHO IS JUDGE OF THE 'ON 80 FENCE / 1*37 
 
 ledge of the cause — which cannot be had in this 
 kind of causes which regard men's consciences 
 but by their own confession — it clearly follows, 
 that lie who has made the pastors of his Church 
 the judoes of men's consciences, has also laid an 
 obligation upon the faithful to lay open the 
 state of their consciences to them, if they hope 
 to have their sins remitted.' " 
 
 " Now, I see," said the Professor, "as I never 
 saw before, the secret spring of power in the 
 Romish Church ! It explains to me many a 
 phenomenon which 1 had witnessed, and for 
 which I could find no adequate cause. This 
 teaching places the confessional above all civil 
 and above all religious powers, and the priest 
 above every earthly ruler, {"or by his word, 
 spoken in the tribunal of conscience, he can 
 abrogate the fealty of subjects to their king, 
 cancel a civil obligation, or annul a judicial oath. 
 He can even sever the marriage ties ! Indeed, 
 there is no mischief that he cannot do, if he be 
 so disposed. When I consider that millions of 
 dollars' worth of Church property and real 
 estate are in their hands, with vast sums of 
 floating capital which they control, besides their 
 annual incomes, which must be immense, I can 
 see how it is, that adding their monetary to 
 their ministerial power, they wield so tremen- 
 dous an influence in the realm of politics. As 
 
 ;' i\ 
 
138 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 
 ^w^^mMm^ 
 
 1: 
 
 they seldom make speeches or publish letters on 
 the subject in this country — the same thing can- 
 not be said of them in Canada, however, nor in 
 Mexico, nor even in Ireland, nor France, where 
 1 witnessed their operations — I could not conjev.- 
 ture how they reached the masses ; but the 
 confessional reveals the hiding of tlieir power. 
 But I am consuming too much of your precious 
 time with these remarks." 
 
 " Not at all Professor. They are directly to 
 the point, and no man is better fitted to make 
 them than yourself. Continue, if you please." 
 
 " I have but this to say now, that I cannot see 
 how a priest, or even a private member of the 
 Church, can honestly take the oath of naturaliza- 
 tion in this country, when it is admitted that 
 the consciences of the masses are in the hands 
 of the priests, (which they themselves acknow- 
 ledge,) and that the priests themselves are con- 
 trolled under solemn vows and religious oaths, 
 by a close ecclesiastical corporation having the 
 Roman Pontiff at its head. Every foreigner 
 who desires to be naturalized is required to 
 declare on oath, in open court, ' that it is bona 
 fide his intention to become a citizen of the 
 United States, and to renounce forever all allegi- 
 ance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, 
 State, or sovereignty whatever.' Under these 
 circumstances, I am convinced that such an oath 
 
POLITICAL AND MORAL INFLUENnE. 130 
 
 by a Romanist is perjury, or, at least, a nullity. 
 For there is not a Romanist, lay or clerical, but 
 would side with the r\)pe of Home in the event 
 of a conflict with our authorities. The demoral- 
 izinij; influence of such oaths has been seen in the 
 recent revelation of unparalleled frauds com- 
 mitted by the officials of New York city, nearly 
 all of whom were Romanists, and all evidently 
 under priestly control — a control exhibited in 
 the vast sums of money and land grants which 
 have been annually made by the city corporation 
 to build up and extend Roman Catholic institu- 
 tions within its bounds. This is true of other 
 places also. As a lover of my country I am 
 jealous of these corrupting influences, exerted 
 mostly by foreign-born citizens and priests — for 
 nearly all their priests are iniported — in the 
 interest of a religious organi: ation which, in 
 form and spirit, is inimical to i he genius of our 
 institutions and government. Let foreigners 
 worship as they think best, so long as they do 
 not encroach upun my privileges and rights as 
 a citizen. But let them not baptize political 
 trickery and usurpation with the sacred name of 
 religion. Now, I have spoken not as a religionist 
 or a political partisan — for I am neither — but as 
 a man." 
 
 " With your permission," I remarked, " we 
 will consider this to be the political influence of 
 
 i; 
 
 1; ' 
 
140 
 
 SFIRITUAl. STRUGGLES. 
 
 L' h 
 
 •i 
 
 1 ! 
 
 the confessional, a topic which, without your 
 presence, must have been wanting in our di.s- 
 cus.sion. Now you can see the moral effect of 
 such assiuned power on the priest himself. ' His 
 spirit being thus inflated with false conceptions 
 of himself and of his work, think of the influence 
 upon his heart and mind of the revelations of 
 human depravity which he is there to solicit and 
 receive. When he takes his position in the 
 confessional, the ' soiled doves ' of his Church 
 come one after another in rapid succession, flock- 
 ing at his feet. Claiming to have power to 
 pardon all sins, he must first hear the recital of 
 them. The whole heart must be opened to him. 
 Now, the foulest thoughts r conceived or even 
 conceivable ; the most ccxx^^licated plans ever 
 laid for robbery, seduction, and even murder ; 
 the blackest deeds that midnight ever witnessed ; 
 all the sins and crimes of childhood, manhood, 
 womanhood, old age ; on the part of the single 
 and the married ; in secret, in public, in the 
 family, in the State, with all the attending 
 circum.stances, descending even to disgusting 
 details, which modesty declines to tell* — all this 
 tide of corruption is poured into the confessor's 
 ears. To withstand such contaminating influ- 
 ences, one must be more than human — must 
 
 * Dens' "Theology iu Latin," vol. vii., pp. 149-153, etc. 
 
TNFLTJENrE ON THE PRTESTfi. 141 
 
 possess an impeccable nature, which no priest 
 even professes to have. Peter Dens in his 
 volume vi., p. 175, says, ' That confessor who is 
 every day occupied in the ministry of hearing 
 confessions, falls very seldom ; in comparison with 
 the times he does not fall.' He speaks, of course, 
 from personal experience. He then proceeds in 
 his works, which are extensively used in all 
 clerical colleges, to present what legislation ho 
 deems necessary to redress or prevent seductions 
 and other crimes by the priests in the confessional, 
 acknowledging thereby thai these abominations 
 have existed and continue to exist. 
 
 " It is doubtless true, that the young and con- 
 scientious priest may at first shrink from the 
 viper, and endeavour for a time to shield himself 
 from the venom of its impurity ; but he soon 
 finds his hold upon his vows of chastity giving 
 way, and ere long realizes what thousands of 
 this class have been compelled in truth to 
 confess, that 
 
 ' When once a shaking nioh.irchy declines, 
 Each thing grows hold and to its fall combines. ' 
 
 An inspired apostle has laid it down as a cardinal 
 truth in relation to human influence, a truth cor- 
 roborated by all history, that ' evil communi- 
 cations corrupt good manners,* for even ' a little 
 
 I 
 
 >>) 
 
1 1 
 
 il I 
 
 (I 
 
 142 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 leaven leaveneth the whole lump.' And a poet 
 
 says : 
 
 * Vice is a monstw of so tVighU'ul mien, 
 As to be hated, needs but to be seen ; 
 Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, 
 We first endure, ihrnpiUj, vnv.s KMintAci;.' " 
 
 " But does not the Church impose restraining 
 chocks, and has she not the power," imjuired the 
 Professor, " to annul the orders and consequent 
 authority of fallen or wicked priests i* " 
 
 "Here is what she .says on this sul>Ject. In 
 the fourteenth session of the Council of Trent, 
 held November 25, 1551, under Pope Julius III., 
 it was enacted as follows, and the clause has 
 never been repealed : ' The Council further 
 teaches, that even those priests who are living 
 in mortal sin exercise the function of forfjivinsf 
 sins, as the ministers of Christ, by the power of 
 the Holy Ghost conferred upon them in ordi- 
 nation ; and that those who contend that wicked 
 priests have not this power, hold very erroneous 
 sentiments.' " 
 
 " How humiliating," exclaimed Aunt Melie, " is 
 this confession of priestly corruption ! How 
 bold this assumption of spiritual power ! " 
 
 " I have often wondered," added Nora, " how 
 the priests get along with hearing so much 
 wickedness. I have feared that many of them 
 even love to hear it. I have sometimes shud- 
 
ABJECT FEAR. 
 
 US 
 
 (lored, too, to think that, while they teach that 
 no one should partake of the holy cornTuunion 
 without having just before confessed all his sins 
 and received absolution, under pain of profana- 
 tion and sacril(;<,'e, they themselves connnune 
 every time they celebrate mass, which many of 
 them do every day, without having' confessed 
 their sins, perhaps, for a long time, and just after 
 hearino* such awfnl confessions as I know they 
 must hear ! " 
 
 " I propose we leave the poor priests, Nora," 
 interrupted Luella, " and hear about the influence 
 of the confessional on the people." 
 
 " Very well," I replied ; " I think it may easily 
 be inferred from what has already been said, 
 that the influence of the confessional on the 
 people is, to inspire a spirit of abject and servile 
 submission to the priest. They know that he is 
 in possession of every secret of their families, 
 of their lives and hearts, themselves having been 
 the informers. They believe, too, that he can 
 open or shut" heaven's door, for or against them. 
 Many even believe that his curse is able to 
 metamorphose their bodies into animal forms, or 
 to bewitch them. Hence their willinirness to 
 perform any penance he may impose, and to 
 yield to any request he may make. All these 
 privacies are, of course, kept under the secret 
 seal of c<^mfession, an obligation (jn |)riest and 
 
 ( ) 
 
 I 
 
144 
 
 SPTRTT TJA A ,S' T R VG G J. ES. 
 
 penitent, than which none can bo more binding 
 and solemn. Tliis secret extends even to crimes 
 which one may intend tu commit.* 1 speak 
 from experience and ob -rvation when 1 say, 
 also, that tin; confessional breeds a fearful 
 license to immorality. A boy, whom I was re- 
 proving for a certain sin, remarked — for we 
 were boys together — ' (), it does not matter how 
 often I do this; I'll confess it to the ])riest and 
 he'll make it all right, because he can forgive 
 many sins as easily as a few.' ' As confession 
 and penance are much easier than the extirpation 
 of sin from the heart, and abandonment of vice 
 in the life,' says Dr. Merle D'Aubign^, * many 
 cease contending against the Hists of the flesh, 
 and prefer gratifying them at the expense of a 
 few mortifications.' This spirit more or less 
 pervades all classes, svd in many instances gives 
 the passions unbridled liberty." 
 
 " I had occasion to witness this very thing," 
 added the Professor, " especially in (hiba and in 
 the South American States, where drunkenness, 
 licentic'isness, and Sabbath desecration sweep, 
 in their tide of corruption, over both priests and 
 people." 
 
 " The confessional, ' I continued, " often leads 
 the young into tlie sinful practices which it 
 
 * Dens, vol. vi., p. 218. rhalloner's "("atholic Instructed," 
 p. 102. 
 
INCITES TO EVIL. 
 
 145 
 
 professes to check or to remove, and even en- 
 courages tlieni therein. For instance, at one 
 time, wlien I was in tlie confessional, the priest 
 (juestioned me in relation to a certain class of 
 sins which I then knew notliing about. This 
 awakened no small excitement and curiosity in 
 me. It led me to study, and to inquire of older 
 boys and bolder sinners than myself, until I 
 learned forms of wickedness which, had it not 
 been for the confessional, 1 might ricver have 
 known ; certainly not so early." 
 
 " My testimony corroborates yours," said 
 Monsieur Grenier, pensively, " and your remarks 
 recall sad experiences which fill my heart with 
 burning memories, and with bitterness against 
 the confessional. I know it to be an enginery of 
 political and spiritual corruption, the details of 
 which it would be a disgrace to reveal. Here is 
 a power which rules the conscience and stifles 
 its voice ; which creeps secretly into houses or 
 families, and leads captive silly women and 
 children, ' laden with sins, led away with divers 
 lusts.' This truth I also found in the Bible." 
 
 " While my experience and sentiments agree 
 with yours in the main," added Nora, " I was 
 such a little mischief when very young that I 
 was never taught anything new in the con- 
 fessional ; and yet the priest often asked me 
 
 questions which made me blush with shame." 
 10 
 
14G 
 
 SPIRITUAL STEUGGLES. 
 
 " Arnl yet tlir confessional," I went on to say, 
 " is till! only <loor t(j the various privileges of 
 the (/hnrch. 'I'he proselyte must enter the con- 
 fessional b(ifore he «loes the ( luireh, oenerally 
 before lie can l>e baptize*!. ( ^mfession stands 
 before coimnunion, ix'fore niarriai^e, l)efore * ex- 
 trenie luiction ' and <leath, if tlie dying have 
 sufficient strenuth for the task. And ret while 
 this is undoubtedly the throne of priestly power 
 in the (yhurch, it is also the seat of spiritual 
 weakness, b(^cause its remedies are not specific 
 and satisfactory, an<l, indeed, cannot be." 
 
 With these remarks came the hour for break- 
 ing up our interview. 
 
 IL--*.... 
 
IX. 
 
 (iRKAT STRU(4(tI,ES AND FaL8K Rf:FUGES — FiRST COM- 
 MUNION — Pknancjvs— Confirmed by liisHOP (now 
 Cardinal) MxCloskky — In the Army— Extreme 
 Unction — The Scapular — Yearninos for the 
 Priesthood — Charlatanism — Woes Unutterable. 
 
 Lo, tiiou triistest in tlic stuff of this brolten reed, on Ejj^ypt ; whereon il 
 a man lean, it will yo into his hand, and pierce it.- Isaiah. 
 
 HE constant recurrence of an event so 
 1^ greatly removes its novelty, that, par- 
 sffK',/J ticularly witli diildren, it is apt to 
 '^(^/^ become stale or uninteresting. There- 
 ^^^ lore, I had feared that our gatherings 
 would so(m lose their interest for our children's 
 minds, and thus fail in accumplishing the good I 
 desire(i. Hut I was mistaken. The facts pre- 
 sented were not only unfoldini:: the inner work- 
 injrs of a ^it-anfir* and wonderful reii<dous 
 organization, whose outer manifestations are 
 constantly before our ey*'s, hut they also revealed 
 the influence of this organization upon the 
 spiritual life and conduct of those around us, 
 even of some who were proniiuent in our dia- 
 
148 
 
 SPIRITUAL HThUGGLES. 
 
 cussions. There was, of course, a special interest 
 in the (ievelopiiient of my own experience. So, 
 on meeting — and every one was promptly on 
 time — the L-eneral inquiry seemed to he as to 
 what power the doctrines and doings which I 
 had attempted to describe had exerted upon my 
 inner life, and I connnenced. 
 
 " When 1 was very young, deep religious im- 
 pressions were made upon my heart. At the 
 age of ten or twelve I was pungently convicted 
 of sin. Having read a little tract in French, 
 entitled ' EterniU',' an impression was received 
 which time never obliterated. For many weeks 
 after this my heart was sad, and every night 
 after retiring 1 spent hours in meditating upon 
 my sins, and my unpreparedness for eternity, 
 and often wept until my pillow was wet with 
 tears." 
 
 " But why did you not go to Jesus to beg his 
 pardon, as you have taught us to do ? " asked 
 Johnnie, weeping as he spoke. 
 
 " Simply because I had no one to direct me to 
 this sovereign remedy. But I was taught by 
 my mother to go and confess to the priest. This 
 I did in the nmost sincere, devout, an»l thorough 
 manner." 
 
 " Did you find the relief you desired ? " he 
 asked. 
 
 " 1 experienced a momentary relief when the 
 
MY FIRST COMMUNION. 
 
 149 
 
 disagreeable task was done, accompanied with 
 the vague and blind belief that all was right. 
 But there would still arise the longing, ' O that 
 I could know that iny sins are indeed blotted 
 out!' Had I possessed a thousand worlds \ 
 would cheerfully have consecrated them all to 
 knoM (3ven for a single moment that my sins 
 were '^'' 'Moved from me ' as far as the east is 
 from th. west.' But T was told that this is a 
 great mystery which no human mind can com- 
 prehend, and that 1 nnist, therefore, leave it all 
 to the power and good intentions of the priest. 
 But the teachings of my intellect could not 
 repress the yearnings of my heart. My soul 
 was ' like the troubled sea,' when it camiot rest, 
 'whose waters cast up mire and dirt.' And as 
 with ocean waves, ebbing and tiowing, there 
 was a perpetual moaning and oscillation between 
 sighini'; and tears — a condition well expressed 
 by the poet Montgomery : — 
 
 •' M) whtiif si, ail rest I"- tVmiul, 
 Rest I'or the wciury .soul '. 
 'Twcrc viiiii the ocean's (l('|ttlis rn snmul. 
 Or piercf to «Mth»T ]>ol('.' 
 
 " Wlien 1 made my tirst coiruiiunion — " 
 
 " O, what is that'" imterrupte<l Johnnie, 
 
 rather abruptly. 
 
 " Tt is tht first tiiut- ome pariakes of the holy 
 
 coiiiMiiini' u. 'riu) child then is cxpecti.'d volun- 
 
 T 
 
; i i 
 
 11 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 1 1 
 
 t J , 
 
 1 
 
 1 
 
 ! 
 i 
 
 1 
 
 1 !' 
 
 j 
 
 t . 
 
 1' 
 
 150 
 
 8PIRTTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 tarily to assume the vows taken by his sponsors, 
 or godfather and godmother, at the time of bap- 
 tism. The Catechism has first to be thoroughly 
 learned. The Sabbath previous to the real com- 
 munion, in order to prepare the candidates more 
 perfectly for that solemn event, all the children 
 sufficiently versed in the Catechism, and sup- 
 posed to be truly penitent, enjoy what they call 
 ' communion en hhnic! You can interpret it 
 either communion in white, or in blank, for it 
 is both. The little oirls are all dressed in white, 
 and the boys are neatly attired, while each is 
 garlanded with wreaths of flowers and evergreens. 
 After performing various ceremonies, at the 
 proper time they are led to the altar, and the 
 priest goes through the regular process of admi- 
 nistering communion to them with unconsecrated, 
 that is, with blank ' wafers. The week follow- 
 ing is generally ^^pent in solemn devotions, such 
 as going fre(juently to confession, perhaps every 
 day ; spending many hours in church repeating 
 aad reading prayt^i-s ; fasting and performing 
 other penances, until the Sabbath arrives. Then 
 the services are made especially impressing, and 
 the occasion is long remembered. 
 
 " When r made my first communion, I was as 
 truly penitent as it seems to me any (me could 
 be. It was not with me as I am sure it is with 
 many, who, as the day of confession approaches, 
 
GREAT STRUOOLES. 
 
 151 
 
 grow restless and gloomy, and who mistake the 
 shame of their disoiisting- disclosure for the 
 sincere repentance of their sins. For at least 
 forty-eight hours I wept almost incessantly. 
 My soul was in an agony of desire to be freed 
 from its load of sin. I panted for freedom. 1 
 fasted until 1 well-nigh fainted. Sin ! T hated 
 il; I abhorred it. T hated myself, because 1 
 was a sinner. There was no penance I was not 
 willing to perform ; and I confidently expected 
 help from the ordinances of God's house. But 
 all my promises of reformation and my prayers, 
 added to those of the priest and his absolution, 
 were in vain. The fountain of my disease had 
 not been reached. T was still a s'avc, sold under 
 sin. I saw what seemed to be right, but failed 
 to do it ; I knew what was wrong, and yet did 
 it. The temple of my soul was in ruins. My 
 heart was the hold of every foul spirit, and a 
 cage of every unclean and hatefvd bird and 
 beast, each clamouring for the ascendency. My 
 intellectual faculties had declared war atjainst 
 my moral nature, and my bodily intirnuties and 
 wants had taken up arms against both. There 
 was a contradiction, a conflict within me." 
 
 " O, father ! " exclaimed Luella, "how per- 
 fectly that condition is descril^ed in the seventh 
 chapter of Paul's Epistle to the Romans." She 
 then read from the fourteenth verse to nearly 
 
 r ' I 
 
 !|l 
 
 I I 
 
152 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 the close of the chapter, ending with the lamen- 
 tation, " 0, wretched man that I am ! who shall 
 deliver me from the body of this death ? " 
 
 " Yes ; that was the wail of my weary soul. 
 But to my pitiful inquiry came back the sad, 
 the only echo, ' Who ? ' There were inward 
 cravings and yearnings which found no satisfac- 
 tion in external rites. Indeed, these ceremonies 
 only complicated and increased my difficulties. 
 I found I had leaned upon a reed which not 
 only broke, but whose splintered and jagged 
 ends made a fearful wound in my spirit, for the 
 healing of which I knew no l)alm." 
 
 " ! " exclaimed Monsieur Grenier, " why is it 
 that I, in having a similar experience, should 
 have thought that no one else ever had such 
 trouble as myself ? You have described my own 
 struggles of soul even better than I could have 
 done." 
 
 " Few persons, if any," I replied. " have, as I 
 have learned, a unique experience ; and yet 
 nearly every one is tempted to believe that no 
 one can" ever know his griefs and truly care for 
 his soul. This, too, was a sore trial to me at 
 the time. But I have not told you all I wish to. 
 Other expedients to relieve my spiritual distresses 
 were suggested, accompanied with ^.'I'eater fast- 
 ings and more humiliating prayers. I was 
 taught that confirmation — a sacrament which, 
 
nONFIBMATION BY M'^CLOSKEY. 1 o.S 
 
 ' t ' 
 
 like baptism, can be received but once, and at 
 the hands of a bishop — would impart to me the 
 ' Holy Ghost, and mako me strong, and a per- 
 fect Christian and soldier of Jesus Christ.' 
 Bishop John McCMoskey, then of the diocese of 
 Albany, now (Cardinal at New York, was about 
 to visit Ticondorooa to administer this holy 
 sacrament. 1 looked forward to the occasion 
 with unusual interest. All due preparatu n of 
 heart and mind was made for the longed-for day. 
 By the parish priest, Mr. Olivetti, an Italian, 
 residing at Whitehall, N. Y., at whose hand I 
 had comuumed, 1 was regarded as having made 
 sufficient proficiency in the preceding degree to 
 entitle me to this, and with others I was 
 presented for this final seal of discipleship, to be 
 confirmed in the faith, and fortified against all 
 its visible and invisible enemies. My soul break- 
 ing out with intense hmging for divine assistance, 
 I stood before that august prelate, a splendid 
 man to look upon, attired in his episcopal robes ; 
 was anointed with the holy chrism in the sign 
 of the cross on my forehead, and dismissed with 
 the tap of his jewelled finger on my cheek, 
 accouipanied with the blessing, ' pdx tecuin,' that 
 is, peace be with thee. Then 1 retired to test in 
 real life the blessing which they assured me 
 was then given to me. But, alas ! alas ! what 
 were my subsoijuent dismay aiui despair when I 
 
 ; •' 
 
 
154 
 
 SPIRTTTJA L S TN VG (I J. ES. 
 
 discovered that, like the woman spoken of in 
 the gospels, ' T was nothinj^- bettered, but rather 
 grew worse.' I was not more wicked than 
 before, but I felt more corruption within. 
 With every increased effort to overcome sin, 1 saw 
 more and more vividly mysinfulness and helpless- 
 ness. The chained or caged tiger when asleep or in 
 quiet may seem as free as his fellows which rest 
 in the deep jungles ; but when he tugs at his 
 chain, or lashe^ in vain the iron bars, he feels 
 his bondage and weakness. So the ' law of sin 
 and death ' held me fast, and had 1 known the 
 words, my cry would have been, 
 
 ** ' Nor bleeding Inrd, nor bleeding Itciist, 
 Nor hyssop branch, nor sprinkling ])riest, 
 Nor running brook, nor Hoo 1, nor sea, 
 Can wash the dismal stain awav.' 
 
 " My state was deplorable beyond description. 
 Often when alone — and 1 greatly courted 
 solitude, and many times con tern plated the life 
 of a hermit, such as I had read of in the history 
 of the so-called saints of the Middle Ao-es — I was 
 so consumed by my inward griefs and filled with 
 unutterable agony, that I would often cease 
 from work, if employed, and stand for many 
 minutes like a mute, cold statue. And yet I 
 was at times extremely gay in society, where I 
 sought to drown my hidden woes. No one of 
 my acquaintances was more social and vivacious 
 
GREAT STRUGGLES AND FALSE REFUGES. 155 
 
 than myself, and I was often the leader in 
 games, sports, and tricks, sometimes spending 
 whole nights in convivialities. But more than 
 once in the midst of a game at cards, or in the 
 figures of a dance, or in a lively chit-chat with 
 friends, I was seized with a strange conviction 
 of my sinfulness that I was scarcely able to 
 hide from those around me. When I was alone, 
 I sighed for something I could not find. I was 
 an enigma to myself, filled with the extremes 
 of gaiety and griefs, of sunshine and shade, 
 with a tincture of soul-bitterness diffused 
 through the whole. 
 
 " At times my nature seemed to be an ugly 
 conglomeration of hyena teeth and wasp stings, 
 of serpent scales and porcupine quills, thoroughly 
 sprinkled with fire and brimstone, for I had a 
 terribly high temper, which, when aroused, was 
 fearful and cruel ; and yet I was capable of the 
 most delicate appreciation of the beautiful in 
 nature and in morals, and my heart was open 
 to the tenderest sympathies. The war-like, 
 poetic, and religious spirit of my ancestors had 
 in me a strange blending. Some days I was 
 woefully wicked, and yet my conscience was so 
 tender that if through haste, in the morning, I 
 happened to perform any ordinary labour before 
 offering my prayer ; or if I failed to give due 
 attention to the prayer — though every one will 
 
 ( 
 
r-s 
 
 156 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 easily see the difficulty of repeating every day 
 from memory a prayer in an unknown tongue 
 without wanderings of thought; or if, by 
 mistake. I chanced even to taste meat on Fridav, 
 or was guilty of any similar delinquency, 1 was 
 thrown into a kind of spiritual convulsion, from 
 which r could not recover until 1 had confessed 
 it all to the priest, and performed my penance. 
 All this was far from relic^ving me ; l)ut when 
 the old .score was canceled, 1 seemed to run into 
 other spiritual debts with a somewhat lighter 
 heart. 1 might have applied to myself, with a 
 good degree of appropi iteness, the quaint old 
 couplet — 
 
 " 'To good and evil e({iial bent. 
 I'm both a devil and ii .Siiint.' 
 
 And thus in grief my days passed wearily by, 
 my soul nmttering constantly the sentiments of 
 a few lines in Lee's Mithridates, which 1 after- 
 ward found : — 
 
 " ' What miracle 
 Can work me into hope ? Heaven here is liankrujit : 
 The wondering gods blush at their want of power, 
 And, <[uite abashed, confess they t!aunot help me ! ' " 
 
 " I can scarcely comprehend," said the Pro- 
 fessor, who had not yet spoken a word, "how 
 you could endure such constant grief without 
 breaking down your constitution." 
 
 " 1 ought to mention, to the praise of God, 
 
/V THE ATiAfY. 
 
 157 
 
 f;hat he gave me a constitution endowed with 
 rare powers of endurance, h'or upward of 
 thirty years I have not V)oen detained from the 
 labours of my vocation a single half day, nor 
 confined to tlie house one hour hv illness. This 
 is true, though two and a half of tliose years 
 were spent in the trying campaigns of the armies 
 of the Potomac and of the Shenandoah, includ- 
 ing tlnee months' confinement in Li])l)y Prison, 
 in the midst of starvation, tilthiness, and deatli. 
 To pains and aches, however, I am comparatively 
 a stranger. But 1 ought to mention as a reason 
 for this physical soundness and strength, tliat 
 from childhood I liave strictly adliered to a 
 total al)stinence pledge, and have never made 
 use of tobacco in any form. T have made the 
 ' laws of health ' a subject of study and practice. 
 And T believe that the teaching of these princi- 
 ples — so frequently urged in the Bible — 
 especially to the young, is a great want of the 
 times. ExcusQ me, if you please, for this 
 digression. 
 
 " But to my spiritual griefs there were also 
 given intervals of comparative rest, though, 
 like angels' visits, they were * few and far 
 between.' My principal relief was found in 
 religious devotions. So I increased my fastings 
 and prayers. I had frequent recourse to the 
 Virgin Mary and to my patron saint. 1 often 
 
 .! \ 
 
158 
 
 spuiiTVA i sTiafaarES. 
 
 I m 
 
 (ft 
 
 
 visitrH fcho church, anrl went throuo^h the ma 
 cruciH, or way oF thr cross, niakin*,' prayers at 
 the different stations in the l^ission of our Lord, 
 represented hy tho images on the walls, dole- 
 fully dragging myself on my knees arounil the 
 entire church. I repeato<l my c(mfessions to 
 the priest and received the connunnions, but 
 these I found to my great gri(if availed me even 
 less than at iirst, for they became more mechani- 
 cal, less earnest and real." 
 
 " I should think," said Luella, " that you 
 would have become discouraged and given up 
 all hope." 
 
 " 1 probably should, had not other refuges 
 been presented. I was taught to expect assist- 
 ance in • extreme unction ' and ' purgatory.' 
 But these were future, and hence not wholly 
 satisfactory. The promise of food next week 
 does not satisfy the hunger of to-day ; and it 
 avails nothing at all, unless you have ground to 
 hope that you will hold out until the expected 
 relief arrives. But here was my perplexity. I 
 was taught that extreme unction is a holy sacra- 
 ment which imparts spiritual succor to the sick 
 and dying, and that no one receiving it can 
 possibly be lost." 
 
 "Is it not substantially the teaching of St. 
 James ? " asked Nora. 
 
 ** Not at all, Nora, as I understand the passage. 
 
/'.'.Y TnKMK VNCTrON. 
 
 1 5!) 
 
 St. Jaiiios rrcninnu'inls tlic f»il to In* Mse«i iinvli- 
 cinully, jis is tlir juacticr in tliosc eastern lands 
 even to tliis day. Tlie oood Samaritan poured 
 oil in tlie wounds of tlie afflicted man. It was 
 evidently the prayei- oV t'aitli. as St. James tells 
 us, that should raise the sick, it* a miraculous 
 raisin;^' werti eHected. 'I'he oil was only a 
 natural n^medy, and the tiHect was natural. I^ut 
 the priests ol* the ('atholic ('hurch use it, not 
 with the intention of raising' tl\e sick — for they 
 never administer it when thcrti is even a prosj)ect 
 of recovery — hut to prepare the sick to die. 
 This is not the intent of St. James. The 
 administration of extreme unction in Canada is 
 made a season of great solemnity. 1 have 
 several times assisted the priest in this holy 
 office. He, carrying the consecrated wafer in its 
 golden pyx, marches solemnly from the church 
 to the house of the dying, accompanie<l by a few 
 acolytes, one of whom, or the sexton, preceding 
 him some distance, rings a hand-bell, the 
 peculiar sound of which is readily understood 
 by all who hear it, to announce that * le ban 
 JDieu,' the good God, even our Lord Jesus Christ 
 himself, is about to pass by. Everybody, thus 
 forewarned, is ready as the priest comes, to kneel 
 down either in the street, or in the house, or 
 shop, or field, and with bowed head to worship 
 the passing deity." 
 
 li'l 
 
 i! 
 
 Ilil 
 
rssfw 
 
 a 
 
 lia I 
 
 ino 
 
 SPIRIT U A L STB IIGGLKS. 
 
 " But," exclaimed Johnnie, " how is it that we 
 nevvjr sec any such processions in this country ?" 
 
 " Simply because in these parts they carry the 
 wafer god more privately," Aunt Melie replied. 
 
 " To prevent scandal," added Nora, " where 
 there are so many Protestant unhelievers." 
 
 "1 cannot see," said Luella, "how anything 
 scriptural, anything which ought to Ijc done for 
 the dying, could be scandalous." 
 
 Nora seemed to feel the force of the remark, 
 and remained thoughtfully silent, while I went 
 on: 
 
 " The priest, having reached the place, orders 
 tapers or candles to be lighted, repeats many 
 prayers and litanies, and then making three 
 times the sign of the cross upon the sick one 
 at the name of each person of the Trinity, says, 
 * In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and 
 of the Holy (Ihost, may all power of the devil 
 be extinguished in thee by the laying on of our 
 hands, ctiid the invocation of all the holy angels, 
 archangels, patriarchs, prophets,apostles,martyrs, 
 confessors, virgins, and all the saints.' Then 
 dipping his thumb in the chrism, he anoints the 
 sick person in the form of the cross upon the 
 eyes, ears, nose, mouth, hands, and feet ; 
 at each anointino- makino- use of tliis form of 
 prayer : ' Through this holy unction, and His 
 own most tender n^ercy, may the Lord pardon 
 
YEARNINGS FOR THE PRIESTHOOD. 161 
 
 thee whatever sin tlioii hast coininitted by thy 
 siglit. Amen.' And so of blie liearing, and of 
 the rest, adapting the form to the several 
 senses." * 
 
 " I shouh.l think that woidd be enough to kill 
 even a well person ! " added Aunt Melie. 
 
 " But the impression made upon my mind was, 
 that so imposing a ceremony nnist be quite 
 efficacious to prepare the soul for its exit from 
 earth ; and so 1 was taught. 1 knew that only 
 a priest could administer this sacrament, and 
 that when anyone was sick we always sent for 
 him sooner than for tlie physician. This in- 
 spired in me such strong yearnings toward the 
 priesthood, that I resolved either to become a 
 priest myself, or to be somewhat associated with 
 one, so that I could not fail to secure his services 
 in the dying hour. This desire was intensified 
 by hearing my father pray during Lent — the 
 only time we had family worship — that God 
 would save us from sudden death. But my 
 father was too poor to afford to educate me for 
 a priest, or even to spare me to be the servant of 
 one. Here was another serious obstacle to my 
 salvation. These untoward circumstances caused 
 me no little uneasiness. 
 
 " But right in the midst of these perplexities 
 
 li 
 
 Challoner's "Catholic Instructed," p. 111. 
 
 11 
 
iiOr 
 
 162 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUaaiES. 
 
 it seemed as if Providence smiled on me. A 
 mission, or what we would call 'a series of extra 
 meetin^rs,' was held in our town, under the 
 direction and labours of brothers Telmon, Lagier, 
 and others, known as the Oblate missionaries ; 
 and during these meetings they presented the 
 saving and niiracvdous influences of the scajyidar." 
 
 At the mention of this word, the Professor, 
 who sat nea. the table, took the dictionary, and 
 finding the place, read : " A part of the habit of 
 certain religious orders in the Roman Catholic 
 Church, consisting of two bands of woollen stuff 
 worn over the gown, of which one crosses the 
 back or shoulder, and the other the stomach. 
 This is worn as a badge of peculiar veneration 
 for the Virgin Mary." 
 
 When he had closed the book I said : '' But 
 as this mode of wearing the scapular would 
 not be convenient for labouring people, those 
 'brothers' directed us to make them of two 
 small pieces of w^oollen stufl two or three inches 
 square, but double, so as to form a receptacle for 
 medals of the Virgin, or relics of some old saint, 
 or an agnus Dei, which is a cake of wax stamped 
 with the figure of a lamb supporting the banner 
 of the cross, blessed by the Pope with solemn 
 prayer, and anointed with holy chrism. This, 
 too, is supposed to possess the power of preserv- 
 ing those who carry it in faith, from accidents 
 
TllK ^GAl'VLAH, 
 
 163 
 
 and sudden death. These two double pieces of 
 cloth, fastened together by two strings or rib- 
 bons which pass on either side of the neck, were 
 to be worn next the body, one on the breast, 
 the other on tlie back." 
 
 Here I unlocked a little box and exhibited to 
 the company a scapular, which Mrs. Beaudry 
 had made for this occasion. 
 
 "Why !" exclaimed Johnnie, "it is just like 
 what I saw on several boys last summer, when 
 we went into the river bathing. They tied 
 them fast around their necks, ' for fear of losing 
 them,' they said. And when I asked what they 
 were, and wdiy they did not take them otf and 
 leave them with their clothes, they bhished, but 
 would not tell me." 
 
 While he was talking, Nora quickly disap- 
 peared from the room, but soon returning with 
 a scapular in one hand and an agnus Dei in the 
 other, she gave the former to Johnnie and the 
 latter to Mary, observing: — " There; I have 
 been fooled long enough ! For nearly five years 
 I have been wearing these trinkets and trusting 
 in them, instead of trusting in the only Lamb 
 of God. You may have them as mementoes 
 of my former ignorance, or for playthings." 
 This brief speech had an electrical etiect on 
 every one. When quiet was restored, 1 further 
 explained : — 
 
 it 
 
 :i> 
 
164 
 
 SPJRITUA L STR UGGLES. 
 
 m 
 
 I ! 
 
 i\ ! 
 
 "We were told that this thinn: oriccinated with 
 KSiiiion Stock, general of the Carmelites, an 
 order of monks. Tlie celebrated Pore Hya- 
 cinthe, now one of the leaders of the ' Old 
 Catholic ' party in Europe, formerly belonged 
 to this order. It was said that while this 
 Simon was enixa^ed in devotions on or about 
 July 10, 1251, the Virgin Mary appeared to 
 him." 
 
 " Times must have changed nee Gospel 
 days," interrupted Luella, with a play of irony 
 in her manner, " for 1 read that Jesus then ap- 
 peared to Simon, but I have ijjver read in the 
 Bible that the Virgin Mary after death ever 
 appeared to any of the sacred writers." 
 
 "I am giving you the authority oi the 
 Roman Catholic Church now. Pjease keep 
 this in mind. As the account went, the Virgin 
 had a scapular in her hands, which she placed 
 upon the devout monk, and assured him that 
 whoever should wear a similar one in her honour, 
 and daily repeat an Ave Maria and Pater noster, 
 should not die in mortal sin — that is, without 
 the succours of the priesthood. We were further 
 told that the thino- had never failed to atford the 
 promised relief, numberless miracles of preser- 
 vation from death on land and sea beinfj cited 
 to prove the efficacy of the great revelation, and 
 to stinmlate the faith of the people. 
 
HtfLV LIFE- rUKSKR \ ' KUS. 
 
 IC);-) 
 
 1 
 
 "Tliis was just tlio tiling' T w«ante(l. At tlio 
 close of the service. UirinLT which I )iad listened 
 with rapt attention to these wonderful dis- 
 closures, I ran home to relate what 1 had 
 heard to my mother, who had remained busy 
 with her work ; for we were carryinuf on a 
 brisk trade in eatables and home-matle beer 
 with the multitudes who were attracted to 
 these meetinixs from all the ' renjion round 
 about.' I (juickly described to her the scapu- 
 lar, and soon the whole fanuly, who appeared 
 quite as much interested as myself, was sup- 
 plied with these holy life-preservers, and ready 
 to be received into the order. The day was 
 appointed for the solemn service of inaugura- 
 tion, and thousands came toixether of old and 
 young, each bringing his new-made scapular 
 with him. Some were beautifully wrought 
 in tue highest ^tyle of needlework, while 
 others were very plain. At the hour appointed, 
 the multitudes crowded to the altar, where we 
 knelt, oiio priest blessing the scapulars with 
 holy water, and another putti-rst'; them on 
 our necks, amid chantinfj ol hymns to 
 the Virgin Mary, who was believed to have 
 vouchsafed to her childreu so distinouishetl a 
 mark of her love and power. A prayer was 
 also offered in v/hich we promised to take the 
 Virgin for our Patroness^ our Advocate, and 
 
 H 
 
 H !f 
 
■ ' ''1 1 .1 
 
 ' 
 
 
 '•;! I 
 
 ! ■'! 
 
 \\m 
 
 
 16() 
 
 spjmruA L sTRuaaL?:H. 
 
 our Mother, pledged ourselves to be her children 
 anrl perpetual servants, and ended in saying 
 to hei-, ' (J rant, by thy powerful intercession, 
 that 1 may have a perfect zeal for thy honour, 
 and tliat this holy scapuUir, which I desire to 
 carry (bu'ing my whole life as a witness of my 
 dedication to thee, may be the means of pre- 
 servinn^ me from the dan<xer.M of eternal death, 
 and conducting me in safety to everlasting bliss. 
 Amen.' " * 
 
 " O, what doul^ly-compounded idolatry ! " 
 cried Aunt Melie. " And was there no fear of 
 quackery in your mind ? A quack, you know, 
 always professes either to cure all kinds of 
 diseases with one medicine, or to cure one specific 
 disease with a great variety of medicines. Now, 
 the Gospel, as I understand it, recognizes but 
 one great disease in humanity — namely, sin. It 
 proposes but one remedy, and that one specific 
 and sovereign — namely, the blood of Jesus 
 Christ. But according to the facts you have 
 stated — and I cannot think I have forgotten 
 one of them — you were made to depend for 
 the pardon of sin and salvation upon a great 
 variety of things. I may not be able to give 
 the doses in their proper order, but here is the 
 general prescription : 1 . Baptism ; 2. Sacrament 
 
 * "Way to Hciiven," ]> 391. 
 
fiHARlATAyi^M. 
 
 167 
 
 of penance, or confession to a priest ; 3. Penances 
 performed by yourself ; 4. Conuniinion ; 5. 
 Confirmation ; G. Extreme unction ; 7. Holy 
 water; 8. Holy chrism ; 1). Palm branches; 10. 
 Crucifixes; 11. Way-side crosses; 12. Images; 
 13. The Virgin Mary ; 14. Other saints ; 15. 
 Angels ; IG. Relics ; 17. Medals ; 18. Agnus 
 Del; 19. Scapulars; 20. Rosary chaplets ; 21. 
 Pilgrimages ; 22. Masses ; 23. Indulgences ; 24. 
 Purgatory ! If this be not a perfect specimen 
 of religious quackery, pray tell me what it is ? " 
 
 " I assure you that I did not then see it in 
 that light. I was taught to regard this great 
 variety of expedients as an evidence of the 
 unlimited bounty of the Church, showing her 
 inventive genius and marvellous power." 
 
 " But could you not see that, if any one of 
 these two dozen things had been a truly divine, 
 and hence all-sullicient remedy, no other would 
 have been sought after ? No one would be so 
 foolish as to call a second pliysieian, if the first 
 were all-wise and all-powerful to relieve !" 
 
 " O, I did not stop to reason much upon the 
 subject, for the Church told me not to do so. I 
 was only perplexed to know which expedient 
 was most salutary ; and I hoped that in the great 
 multitude of them, some one, or the joint 
 intl lence of them all, would, perhaps, somehow 
 and somewhere,, prove satisfactory. 
 
 
 ^11 
 
. t 
 
 iiiiSI 
 
 Si 
 
 3» 
 
 
 168 
 
 SPTRTTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " But 1 had a wonderful confidence in my 
 scapular. I never, for a single moment, removed 
 it from my body for fear of dying without it. 
 When the first became old, and the strings 
 began to give way, I had another made, but 
 the new was put on before the old was dis- 
 placed. I then actually believed my scapular 
 saved my life on several occasion^? — once from 
 the kick of a horse, which just grazed my face, 
 and once from the fall of a tree, which barely 
 missed my head." 
 
 " How mu'ch like my own, thus far, your 
 experience has been," interrupted Monsieur 
 Grenier ; " but how did you feel at last ? " 
 
 " Wretchedly unhappy. For with all \\\y 
 helps in pri(\sts and prayers, 1 was still con- 
 scious of vhuk depiavity within. I loathed 
 myself, and found no rest fiU' my soul. 1 was 
 like one pursuing a splendid mirage or phantom. 
 I was only repeating my childhood sports, 
 though sadly, when for hours of sunshine 
 through the meadows I chased the gaudy but- 
 terfly, or at eventide the star-like firefly, 
 without catching them ; or by moonlight endea- 
 voured to overleap my own shadow, which, 
 with equal pace, fled as I advanced. It was 
 the old story of Tantalus, whom Ulysses was 
 fabled to have seen in the lower world, standing 
 up to his chin in water, which constantly eluded 
 
IVOE UNJJTTKRA llhK. 
 
 100 
 
 \ ; 
 
 his lip as often as he attempted to quench tlie 
 thirst that tormented him. Over his head grew 
 all kinds of fruits ; hut whenever he reached 
 forth his hands to pluck them, the wind scat- 
 tered them to the cliuids. 1 think that Tsaiah 
 lias most graphically descrihed my Htato. lie 
 says : ' It shall even 1h» as when a hungry man 
 dreameth, and, lu^hold, he eateth ; hut he 
 awaketh, and his soul is empty ; or as wlien a 
 thirsty man dn^ameth, and, behold, he drinketh ; 
 but he awaketh, and, behold, he is faint.' 
 
 " I looked upon the singing bir<ls and the 
 grazing cattle with envy. ! why had T power 
 to know right and wrong, when I had not power 
 to follow the fot'iner nor to overcome the latter ( 
 Why had I a conscience to scourge me as with 
 scorj)ions ? I could have cried, 
 
 " 'O that I liad bcoii formed 
 An idiot from the birth ! a senseless chaii^eliiig, 
 Who eats his gluttons' meals with greeny haste, 
 Nor knows the hand which feeds him ! ' 
 
 I would have gladly exchanged existence even 
 with a loathsome, crawling viper. I could 
 never account for such a dreadful thought ; it 
 must have been purely Satanic. Fiife was to 
 me a bitter thing, and death I looked upon with 
 shrinking horror. In my deep distress I cursed 
 the day that gave me being, and wished that T 
 had died in my cliildhood. Terrible as is the 
 
 W 
 
^ 
 
 ill 
 
 170 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 desiro, I prayed for annihilation ! I arraigned 
 the God of lieaven, and came near cursing my 
 Maker. These strufjijles continued for several 
 years. Certain passages in the penitential 
 psalms perfectly expressed my state : — 
 
 " ' I am weary with my groaning ; all the 
 night make I my bed to swim ; I water my 
 couch with my tears. For mine iniquities are 
 gone over mine head : as a heavy burden they 
 are too heavy for me. For my days are con- 
 sumed like smoke, and my bones are burned as 
 a hearth. My heart is smitten, and withered 
 like grass ; so that I forget to eat my bread. 
 By reason of the voice of my groaning my 
 bones cleave to my skin. I am like a pelican 
 of the wilderness ; I am like an owl of the 
 desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone 
 upon the housetop.' " 
 
 With this sad portraiture of my state before 
 us we were compelled to close our interview, for 
 swift-winged Time announced the call to other 
 duties. 
 
X. 
 
 Providential Mkans of Rklief — Ticonderoga — 
 Lkavixu Home— Cream Hill, Vt. — At School — 
 Great PRooiniss — Teaching — Henryville, Canada 
 — Diary — Joseph Cook - Extempore Speaking. 
 
 I will briiiir the blind by a way that tlioy knew not ; I will load them 
 in patlis they have not known : I will make darkness ligfit before them, 
 and crooked thinj,^) straight. — Iniiiah. 
 
 ^ ANY moments of tho week which 
 followed our last conversation were 
 spent in study in<^ the interestinfr 
 cartoons in " Harper's Weekly," with 
 which the children, and especially 
 Nora, who was personally acquainted with some 
 of the parties represented, were perfectly de- 
 lighted. By placinr^ several successive numbers 
 of this brilliant periodical on a long table, side 
 by side, we could readily trace the history of the 
 revelations of the most astounding official cor- 
 ruption of modern times, accompanied with 
 priestly interference with our system of common 
 schools, and intermeddling with politics. These 
 papers greatly increased the interest in my story, 
 
 ill ■ 
 
IMAGE EVALUATION 
 TEST TARGET (MT-3) 
 
 1.0 
 
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 2.5 
 2.2 
 
 li: 14^ 12.0 
 
 
 6" 
 
 illll^ 
 
 U III 1.6 
 
 V] 
 
 VI 
 
 A 
 
 
 
 Photographic 
 
 Sciences 
 
 Corporation 
 
 23 WEST MAIN STREET 
 
 WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 
 
 (:'6) 872-4503 
 
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■' r^ 
 
 1:^ 
 
 172 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 while they revived memories of events and 
 principles already explained. 
 
 On assembling this time we missed our 
 friend. Monsieur Grenier ; but the Professor was 
 promptly on hand — indeed, he had accompanied 
 us from the Sunday-school. Luella had not for- 
 gotten the gloomy description of my state of 
 mind, given last Sabbath, and as soon as possible 
 she said : — 
 
 " Now, father, pray tell us in what way you 
 were ever led to abandon the views you formerly 
 entertained, and how you came in possession of 
 the cheerful, spiritual frame of mind in which I 
 have always known you to be." 
 
 " It affords me great pleasure, I assure you, to 
 be able to turn from that shady side of my life 
 to one more sunny ; from that midnight gloom 
 to the bright, glowing day. But the story is 
 not a very brief one." 
 
 " Never mind the length," almost shouted 
 Johnnie, " so long as it is good. When we little 
 folks begin to get weary, it will probably be 
 time to stop ; but I hope not before." 
 
 " With this assurance on your part I will pro- 
 ceed. But I wish to preface my narrative by say- 
 ing, that the leadings of Providence are often very 
 mysterious and surprising. Cowper wrote : — 
 
 ** ' God moves in a mysterious way, 
 His wonders to perform.' 
 
( I 
 
 ! I 
 
 A WAY I KNEW NOT. 
 
 173 
 
 In view of this great truth, Jeremiah exclaims, 
 *0 Lord, I know that the way of man is not in 
 himself : it is not in man that walketh to direct 
 his steps.' The history of Abraham, the father 
 and type of true believers, beautifully exemplifies 
 the same truth. God's hand may be seen also 
 in all the wanderings of the Hebrew people. 
 We see it especially in the history of Saul of 
 Tarsus, afterward the apostle Paul. How little 
 did he know, when he left Jerusalem with 
 letters from the chief priests, authorizing him 
 to destroy, by every means possible, the newly- 
 rising sect of Nazarenes, that in a few days he 
 would be preaching the faith he was then so 
 zealously endeavouring to overthrow ; consort- 
 ing with the very people against whom he was 
 breathing out threatening and slaughter ; build 
 ing up the Church of which he was making so 
 fearful havoc, and suffering persecution at the 
 hands of his nation and family ! God led him 
 in a way he knew not, and took the scales of 
 error from his eyes. In after years he wrote to 
 Timothy concerning nimself in these humiliating 
 terms : * Who was before a blasphemer, and a 
 persecutor, and injurious ; but I obtained mercy 
 because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.' In 
 more respects than one the same statement is 
 true of myself." 
 
 liii 
 
 i!i' 
 
174 
 
 HPlRirUA L 8 TR U(7GLES. 
 
 .IS 
 
 i 
 
 I 
 
 
 " Was your conversion indeed like St. Paul's ? " 
 inquired Luella. 
 
 " In many regards the conversion of every 
 Christian resembles his, and it was particularly 
 so with mine, as you will see at the proper time 
 in my narrative. But now I want to tell you 
 of the providential means that led to so impor- 
 tant an evert. Leaving home is the first thing 
 I will mention. Sad as I felt at the time, this 
 was, nevertheless, a God-send, I am sui'e. 
 
 '' On March 3, 1848, my father died. As he 
 left no property for the children to trust in or 
 to quarrrel over, each one had to go forth and 
 'paddle his own canoe.' My father's death 
 occurred in a wild region called New Hague, on 
 the southern border of the town of Ticonderoga, 
 about two miles from Lake George. An older 
 brother had purchased a farm there, and, with 
 hired men, set to work to clear the land and 
 bring it into cultivation. As I was a stout boy 
 for one of my age, I was also hired with other 
 brothers. At this hard work I spent more than 
 a year. But while the land was being cleared 
 and cultivated, my heart and mind were not 
 only neglected, but brought under the grossest 
 influenres. The morals of the place were utterly 
 wretched. There was neither school-house nor 
 church for several miles. The region was a 
 rendezvous of second-rate lumbermen, worn out 
 
LEA VINCr HOME. 
 
 175 
 
 'canallers/ and runaways from justice, with 
 very few exceptions. Dancing and drinking, 
 with all manner of vulgarities and obscenities, 
 were the order of the day. The Sabbaths were 
 occasions of the most rampant wickedness ; 
 except once in four weeks, when the whole 
 neighbourhood disgorged the majority of its 
 population, who went several miles to the 
 Koman Catholic church in Ticonderoga. It was 
 during this period that I passed through some 
 of the most fearful experiences of my life. Most 
 corrupt practices were there taught me, and yet 
 at times I struggled, though in vain, to shake 
 off the monster that was devouring my very 
 vitals. 
 
 " In the autumn of 1849, through a little mis- 
 understanding, I was drawn into a sharp en- 
 counter of words with my brother, for whom 
 I was working. This led to our separation, and 
 to my leaving home. Too late he repented, and 
 confessed his undeserved rebuke of me, and 
 strove to retain me ; but I was determined, and 
 would not stay. You have read of Benjamin 
 Franklin, whom difficulties with a brother sent 
 out into the world, and who went to Phila- 
 delphia, with three rolls of bread under his arm, 
 and his pockets stuft'ed with stockings and shirts 
 — these being all the estate he possessed. Well, 
 it was something such an appearance I presented 
 
 
 •!* 
 
 ' i ■ 
 
 ' f 1 ■ [5 
 
170 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 as I took my little bundles and started out to 
 seek my fortune. My mother piously com- 
 mended me to the Virgin Mary, and told me 
 not to forget my Church nor my scapular. I 
 embraced her, shedding tears which I endea- 
 voured in vain to restrain, and left." 
 
 " But why did you cry so ? " inquired Johnnie, 
 almost sobbing as he said it. 
 
 " 0, I can scarcely tell you why. But the 
 world looked so cold and wide, and I was going 
 forth into it penniless, friendless — a wretched, 
 ignorant boy. Then, too, I had so strong an 
 attachment to my friends, especially to my 
 dear mother, that this separation nearly broke 
 my heart. I moved away from the house with 
 slow, measured steps, and as I went over the 
 first knoll, whence I could take a last look of 
 home, I turned and saw my mother still standing 
 at the door with her apron to her face. Had it 
 not been for what seemed the leadings of an 
 invisible hand, which some, I suppose, would 
 call the hand of Destiny, I could not have gone 
 farther. But the die was cast ; the Rubicon 
 waa crossed ; so I resumed my journey. I had 
 a brother living i:^. a place called Cream Hill — a 
 name of good omen — in the town of Shoreham, 
 Addison County, Vermont. Thither I bent my 
 steps. After spending a weary and almost 
 sleepless night with my brother, I found a good 
 
JFORK AXD STUDY. 
 
 177 
 
 place with a neighbouring farmer named Perry, 
 who needed just such help as I could render. 
 
 "My mother had carefully taught me how to 
 mend my clothes and darn my stockings, and I 
 now found a good opportunity to practise what 
 I had learned. She had also urged me to go to 
 school, if I could possibly find a suitable place. 
 It had been her misfortune as well as my father's 
 to be without education. Hence their mark (X) 
 instead of their name may be found in several 
 documents. To gratify her as well as myself, I 
 sought a place with diligence, and succeeded. 
 
 " This leads me to speak of another powerful 
 means which God made use of in bringing about 
 my conversion — namely, education. Having 
 laboured for Mr. William E. Perry until his fall 
 work was finished, I went to Mr. Hiram Rich, 
 who resided near the school-house, agreeing to do 
 * chores,' which consisted mostly of feeding five 
 or six hundred sheep, and some cattle, for which 
 labour I was to be boarded. As his daughter 
 was the school teacher and boarded at home, I 
 was to receive her assistance in my lessons, 
 especially evenings — an arrang'^ment which 
 proved highly beneficial. 
 
 " I was then sixteen years old, large of my 
 age, and yet I could scarcely read or write, and 
 was ignorant of the elementary rules or princi- 
 ples of arithmetic. I was not a little ashamed 
 
 m 
 
 
 ..f \ 
 
^il 
 
 178 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 tl i f 
 
 of myself as T appeared among my ffcUow-pupils, 
 most of whom were much younger than I in 
 years, and yet several years my superiors in 
 knowledge. My French pride was terribly 
 wounded, but it seemed to urge me on in my 
 efforts, and I began to apply myself night and 
 day. I soon became so absorbed in my books 
 that I could think of little else. Sometimes I was 
 even forgetful of my work. But Mr. Rich 
 would kindly excuse me by saying, ' I know 
 what's tlie matter with you : your studies fill 
 your entire mind.' It was no uncommon thing 
 for me to solve some of the most difficult pro- 
 blems of my arithmetic in my dreams. I often 
 studied during recesses when others were at 
 play. In fact, I studied everywhere, and all 
 the time. It seemed as if every power of my 
 intellect — and I had reached a period of life 
 when the mind is peculiarly active — was focal- 
 ized upon improvement. This was the charmed 
 circle around which all my thoughts revolved 
 and within which they were centred. As even 
 a few solar rays, caught by a convex lens, con- 
 verge to a burning point, so this harmony and 
 unity of my mental powers produced an intense 
 eagerness for knowledge, supplied me with light 
 as I advanced, and dispelled or dissolved the 
 difficulties that obstructed my way. I have 
 learned that it is application and enthusiasm, 
 
 > : 
 
ENCOURAGING PBOGBESS. 
 
 179 
 
 'It 
 
 more than great opportunities or talents, that 
 accomplish any work." 
 
 " This is the key of success," said the Pro- 
 fessor. " But, pray, give us the particulars of 
 your achievements." 
 
 " My progress astonished both myself and 
 others. In three months' time I had gone 
 through what was called ' Adams's New Arith- 
 metic,' so that there was not a problem in it I 
 could not solve, and scarcely a principle I could 
 not explain. Then, for the first time, I took up 
 grammar and philosophy, finding in both the 
 keenest enjoyment. This unlooked-for success 
 changed the whole tenor of my life. Friends 
 began to advise me to pursue a regular course of 
 study. My mother, wonderfully gratified at 
 my success, urged me to press on in this direction. 
 There was one notable obstacle in my path, 
 however. I was entirely destitute pf means, 
 and too proud to ask friends for help. But I 
 had a vieforous frame, and was not afraid nor 
 ashamed to work ; and I saw how my hands and 
 feet might be made to contribute to my brain. 
 So when the winter term closed I engaged to 
 work again for Mr. Perry, and the proceeds of 
 my summer's work were sufficient to enable me 
 to attend most of the fall term at Newton 
 Academy, in the village of Shoreham. At the 
 close of the term I received from the principal, 
 
m 
 
 180 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 Mr. Asa S. Jones, a very gr&iifymg recommenda- 
 tion for the position of district school teacher. 
 
 " I then presented myself to the school super- 
 intendent of the town of Tieonderoga, and, 
 after a rigid examination, received a legal 
 certificate which bears date November 12, 1850. 
 But it was too late in the season ; I found that 
 the schools were either commenced or had their 
 teachers engaged. However, as I was only 
 seventeen years of age, and perhaps too young 
 to have succeeded in teaching, I considered that 
 it v/as all for the best that I failed in my efforts, 
 and so returned to Cream Hill to attend the 
 district school, as I did the winter before. The 
 next spring my brother, who had been the cause 
 of my leaving home, urged me so strongly to 
 return and work for him that I consented, and 
 spent the summer labouring at house-carpentry. 
 
 " In the autumn of 1851 I secured a school in 
 the town of Hague, Warren County, N. Y., 
 where I succeeded so well that, after teaching 
 three months, I was re-engaged for a fourth. 
 Then, taking my newly-earned money, I 
 hastened to Henryville, Canada, where, for 
 the sake of perfecting myself in my vernacular, 
 I spent most of the season in a French school. 
 While there, I was more deeply impressed than 
 ever with the contrast between Protestant and 
 Roman Catholic morality. I lamented to find 
 
HENRYVriLE, CANADA. 
 
 1S1 
 
 it so, and was anxious to discover some power 
 that could put a stop to the violations of the 
 Sabbath ; and [ yearned to be able to do some- 
 thing myself for the moral elevation of my 
 fellow-religionists. I sometimes wept over the 
 moral desolation that prevailed. But in private 
 conversation with intimate friends, especially 
 with my eldest sister, in whose family I V)oarded, 
 I found that the state of things was quite com- 
 fortably acquiesced in, because tolerated by the 
 Church authorities, or, at least, tacitly sancti(3ned. 
 Notwithstanding my perplexities with regard to 
 such licensed irregularities, I went to confession 
 to the priest. Rev. Mr. St. Aubain, and partook 
 of the holy communion. By him, and by means 
 of certain books put into my hands, I was 
 taught to feel that all my troubles on this score 
 were temptations of Satan ; that the delinquen- 
 cies of Church-members were no argument 
 against the purity of the Church, and that 
 somehow the Church, by means of her 
 indulgences and spiritual authority, could 
 remove these blotches. So instead of losing 
 confidence in the Roman Catholic Church, I 
 was forced into a greater admiration of ein in- 
 stitution that could accomplish so great a thing. 
 " Strongly confirmed in these views, I re- 
 turned to the States, and continued to prosecute 
 
"rr 
 
 182 
 
 SPTRITUA L STR UGCLES. 
 
 
 my education, teaching winters, and attending 
 school summers, except that through haying 
 and harvest time I generally felt compelled to 
 labour with my hands, for the sake of the 
 increased wages. After being in school, either 
 as a teacher or pupil, for about nine months in 
 succession, my hands were tender and my frame 
 relaxed, so that the result of the first few days 
 of toil was worse than I can describe. I have 
 had these hands so completely blistered, and my 
 body so overstrained, that I have found myself 
 in the morning so stiffened and sore as scarcely 
 to be able to move, or to handle a tool. But 
 the ultimate object stimulated me, and I endured 
 * hardness as a good soldier.* I know what hard 
 work is, and, when inured to it, I loved it for 
 its own sake. But sometimes I murmured at 
 my lot, and envied those fellow-students whose 
 parents gave them money to supply all their 
 wants, while I was compelled to deny myself 
 fine clothes, many needed books, and all deli- 
 cacies. But it was all right. I can see it now. 
 I needed the discipline. It threw me upon my 
 own resources, and gave me a better apprecia- 
 tion of what I gained. I dearly learned, that 
 self-denial leads to self-control, and that these 
 make self-reliance possible. 
 
 " In the autumn of 1852 I began to write a 
 
 
MY DTAKY. 
 
 183 
 
 diary or journal, which I liave ever since con- 
 tinued." 
 
 "Do you mean this pile of books on the 
 shelf ? " asked Johnnie ; and so speakin^^', he 
 took out the seventeen volunios which are 
 written, being about all he could lift. "And 
 are all these books written throuirh ;* " he con- 
 tinned. " I would like to know how many pages 
 there are." The number of pages in each book 
 was pencilled down by Luella as he called them 
 off, which, with tho volume I am now writing, 
 amounted to nearly four thousand pages. 
 
 " It is not the number of pages I care much 
 about, children, but it is the improvement I 
 made in writing them. These pages, with the 
 composition or themes I used to write almost 
 weekly, greatly stimulated my thinking powers." 
 
 " I am sure," added the Professor, " that the 
 practice of writing such a diary not only pre- 
 serves many important events and incidents 
 which might otherwise be lost, but greatly 
 increases the power and facility with which a 
 writer can produce narrative or history. It 
 also teaches how to think deliberately and cor- 
 rectly." 
 
 " Thank you, Professor. I hope your remark 
 may stimulate my children in the habit of 
 journal- writing," I replied. 
 
184 
 
 HP I R IT UA L STR UGGLES. 
 
 " About the time I commenced this practice, 
 which, as you may see in volume first, was 
 September 11, 1852, I also commenced the 
 exercise of speaking extempore. With a school- 
 mate by the name of Joseph Cook, of Ticonde- 
 roora — who is now a Confjrecrational minister of 
 Boston, celebrated for his popular lectures — 
 whose portrait you see on the wall, I agreed 
 upon the following plan : We wrote subjects 
 upon small pieces of paper, folded them, and 
 put them into a hat. After shaking them 
 thoroughly, we took turns in drawing out a 
 slip, and in speaking off-hand upon whatever 
 topic was written in it. This practice, perse- 
 vered in, taught us to think rapidly and on our 
 feet. Without the habit of close study and 
 careful writing, however, this ability would 
 have been hurtful ; but now it proved to be a 
 great help. Such was the improvement we 
 obtained in this way, that we organized a 
 literary society which had extemporaneous 
 speaking as its chief object, called it the ' Keese- 
 ville Cabal,' and gathered into it the best 
 students of the academy we were attending, 
 besides several young men of the village. The 
 attention I paid to the study of the Greek, 
 Latin, Spanish, and German languages also 
 aided me to a better understanding of the Eng- 
 
EDUCATION. 
 
 18; 
 
 lish and French tongues, and served to discipline 
 my mind. Some of these studies were of 
 incalculable importance to me in subsequent in- 
 vestigations of religious truths." 
 
 " But what had education to do in bringing 
 you to Christ ? " asked Aunt Melie. 
 
 " Much every way. It gave me a key with 
 which to unlock the difficult problems that 
 presented themselves before me, while it inten- 
 sified my desire to know the truth of every 
 doctrine commended to my faith and practice. 
 It also enlarged ?nd liberalized my views of 
 religion, of men, and of things in general. ' My 
 people perish for want of knowledge,' said God 
 by the mouth of an ancient prophet, and 
 current history confirms such a statement. 
 Education is a mighty power, reminding one of 
 the mystic lever of Archimedes, who is reported 
 to have said to King Hiero, ' Give me where I 
 may stand, and I will move the world.' Assume 
 education to be this lever, the Bible the fulcrum, 
 and experimental and practical Christianity the 
 hand on the long arm of the lever, and you 
 have a force that cannot fail to lift the masses 
 upward." 
 
 '* A liberal education, free from all sectarian- 
 ism, I am convinced, is not only the hope of 
 Christianity, but also of all republics," added 
 the Professor. 
 
 ' t f 
 \ i 
 
186 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 r' 
 
 " I know," I said, " that religion without cul- 
 ture leads to bigotry. Zeal without knowledge 
 results in shameful excesses. Witness all 
 religious wars or persecutions. On the other 
 hand, knowledge — I will not say education, for 
 this means the harmonious development of all 
 the faculties — knowledge without religion gene- 
 rally leads to infidelity. Much learning, without 
 God, makes men mad. We must blend the two. 
 They are like the wings of a bird, which are 
 both needed for its fliorht. In the lanofuaije of 
 my friend Cook, though applied to moral sua- 
 sion and legal power in the temperance work, I 
 may say of knowledge and religion, that 
 * whenever we have tried to move on one wing, 
 our flight has been a sorry spiral. It is not 
 claimed that either wing is yet fledged to the 
 full. But there is now historic ground to hope 
 that, when both pinions are grown, and both 
 used in equal librations, the reform, as an 
 archangel flying with steady vans in mid- 
 heaven above the nations, and dispensing bless- 
 ings, is to make the circuit of the globe.' 
 Therefore, taking the word * wisdom ' for true 
 religion, and ' understanding ' for general educa- 
 tion, I would urge these striking scriptural 
 proverb > : * Wisdom is the principal thing ; 
 therefore get wisdom : and with all thy getting. 
 

 ■ ♦ 
 
 c ■ ... 
 
 T 
 
 TRUE WISDOM. 
 
 187 
 
 get understanding. Exalt her, and she shall 
 promote thee ; she shall bring thee to honour, 
 when thou dost embrace her. She shall give to 
 thine head an ornament of grace ; a crown of 
 glory shall she deliver to thee. Her ways are 
 ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are 
 peace.' " 
 
 With these golden utterances for each one 
 to remember, our interview ended. 
 
 !' \ 
 
ill 
 
 i 
 
 ; Jii 
 
 ii 
 
 
 XL 
 
 Persecution and Perplexity — Poor Nora — The 
 Nuns — With Joseph Cook — Keeseville, N. Y.— 
 First Hearing of the Word — Day Dawn — Sunday- 
 School. 
 
 Ye have taken away my gods which I made, and the priest, and ye are 
 gone away : and what have I more?— il/ica/t, of Mount Ephraim. 
 
 ^HE interest in our interviews was becom- 
 ing unaccountably enthusiastic. Indeed, 
 scarcely a day passed that sometliing in 
 relation to them was not said. Nora, 
 by her recent and peculiar experience, 
 had become a centre of attraction, and bade fair 
 to be a moving spirit among us. She was 
 constantly receiving very severe letters from her 
 father, who threatened to disown her if she did 
 not leave us, and cast off ' those Protestant 
 heresies,' as he expressed himself. Her mother 
 maintained a more loving yet sorrowful attitude. 
 At last she received a note from the priest, full 
 of warnings, couched in such singular and 
 equivocal terms, that two or three various inter- 
 pretations could be attached to them. However, 
 
PERSECUTION AND PERPLEXITY. 189 
 
 it was plain to see that the priest in whose 
 parochial limits we resided had bee pretty well 
 informed of Nora's wliereabouts ; and it was 
 quite clearly intijnated that if she did not leave 
 willingly, forcible measures might be instituted 
 for that purpose. At first, Nora displayed some 
 restlessness, and the fear of abduction tormented 
 her. (She had recently read Rev. Dr. Hiram Mt*,t- 
 tison's brief account of the kidnapping of Mi.ss 
 Mary Ann Smith, of Newark, New Jersey, who, 
 for renouncing Romanism, and joining the 
 Methodist Episcopal Church, and for no other 
 cause, was forcibly abducted and incarcerated in 
 the House of the Good Shepherd, one of those 
 institutions in New York which are suckled at 
 the breast of the public treasury. On reading 
 the book she doubted its truthfulness, but now 
 successive flashes of conviction that such treat- 
 ment was possible, even for herself, made her 
 feel uneasy. For some time her mind oscillated 
 between doubt and fear. But one day she said 
 to me, " If that's the way they expect to rule 
 me, they will find themselves mistaken. What 
 kind of religion can this be that would force 
 obedience to its commands ? That may have 
 done well enough in old Ireland, but it will 
 never do in free America. You know that this 
 is my native land, and somehow, within the past 
 few weeks particularly, it seems as if I waa 
 
7W 
 
 ! 
 
 li. 
 
 1 : 
 
 ill' 
 
 If 
 
 • 
 
 
 i! 
 
 i» 
 
 
 S 
 
 u 
 
 \\ 
 
 
 1 
 
 ' 1 
 
 i 
 
 
 1 '■ 
 
 190 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 strangely influenced by its free air and free 
 institutions, especially when I compare our 
 privileges with the condition of things in the 
 old country, as related to me by my parents. 
 Now, really, I can't believe that they mean to do 
 as is intimated in this letter. It must be it 
 means something else." And thus she continued 
 talking about the matter, endeavouring to 
 believe better thincjs of her mother's Church. 
 But that she had fears was evidenced by her 
 carrying the strange letter constantly in her 
 pocket, and often reading it. 
 
 One evening, as she was returning from church 
 with Luella — for she had become greatly inter- 
 ested in our public meetings also — they met two 
 nuns, or " sisters," who on approaching them 
 gave signs of desiring to speak to them ; but as 
 they chanced to meet in a strong lamp-light, 
 and near an alley, the nuns very ingeniously 
 stepped aside into the shade of the corner building, 
 and invited the girls to follow. The latter were 
 not a little startled at first on seeing the two 
 white bonnets flopping in the night wind, and 
 on being thus accosted ; but as it was early in 
 the night, and the nuns appeared very pleasant, 
 they obeyed. On reaching the shaded nook, one 
 of them stepped up to Luella, and, in an under- 
 tone, inquired if she could tell her where the 
 Rev. Mr. Beaudry resided, in whose family lived 
 
POOR NORA. 
 
 101 
 
 an Irish girl by the name of Nora O'C . 
 
 Nora, ah'eacly suspicious of the strangers, on 
 hearing her name thus called, instantly caught 
 Luella by the hand, and unceremoniously and 
 rapidly they both hastened home. They were 
 so overcome with fear, and so nearly breathless 
 from their chase when they arrived, that it was 
 some time before they could recount the incident. 
 Nora was so excited that lockinoj and boltin<x the 
 doors and windows would not quiet her, and I 
 was induced to go out and engage a special po- 
 liceman to watch the premises through the night. 
 Under these circumstances, it was for some days 
 difficult to tell what the poor girl would do. 
 She was more or less nervous day and night, and 
 did not dare on any account to enter the streets 
 except in the daytime, and with some member of 
 the family. I suggested the propriety of send- 
 ing her to my brother Charles's, near Lake 
 Champlain, where, for some time at least, she 
 might live in seclusion. But she averred that 
 the priest knew all about him also, as he had 
 declared to her in her last confession, so that 
 that home would be no covert from his designs. 
 And furthermore, she said she would regard 
 such a flight as little less than downright 
 cowardice. 
 
 At last her naturally independent Irish 
 character began to assert its power. She was 
 
192 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 greatly stimulated and directed by the evangeli- 
 cal truths which she had already treasured up, 
 and soon, with a spirit resembling that of Joan 
 of Arc, she resolved to brave and overcome the 
 fiercest dangers. She asserted that this "vic- 
 torious state of mind," as she called it, was 
 gained while engaged in prayer to her blessed 
 Saviour ; and she meant now, if necessary, to 
 lose even her life for his sake. Her heroism was 
 really grand, and at times sublime, partaking 
 much of natural, though more of moral, courage. 
 In our first interview after this significant 
 event, when our whole company was present, 
 Nora elicited general sympathy, and several plans 
 were suggested to secrete her among our friends, 
 or by some means to make at least her liberty of 
 person secure. But avowing her purpose of 
 remaining with us and of trusting God for the 
 result, she finally relieved our anxiety by saying 
 that she had recently found a precious passage 
 in the prophecy of Isaiah, which she quoted as 
 follows : " No weapon that is formed against 
 thee shall prosper ; and every tongue that shall 
 rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. 
 This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, 
 and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord." 
 " And then," she added, " if it comes to the 
 worst, Jesus has said, ' Fear not them which kill 
 the body, but are not able to kill the soul : but 
 
PFITH JOSEPH COOK. 
 
 193 
 
 rather fear him which is able to destroy both 
 soul and body in hell.' I'll risk my destiny, 
 then, in the hands of Him who has all power in 
 heaven and in earth." 
 
 Johnnie, who was sitting near me, whispered 
 in my ear, " Don't you thin^', father, that Nora 
 is truly converted ? It seems almost as though 
 her face was shining like an angel's." 
 
 " Let us have no privacies here," I whispered 
 back ; " Nora will probably tell her own story in 
 due time." 
 
 "Well, father," he spoke aloud, *' please give 
 us more of your own experience now, for I am 
 sure we are all anxious to hear it." 
 
 As nothing else was suggested, I began : " An- 
 other important event in shaping my destiny 
 occurred in the autumn of 1852. During the 
 early part of September, through what I now 
 consider to have been purely providential lead- 
 ings, I went from Ticonderoga, with Joseph 
 Cook, to Keeseville, in the northern part of the 
 State, to attend an academy, allusion to which 
 has already been made. We arranged to board 
 and room together. He was not then a member 
 of any Church, but was strictly moral and even 
 religious, and well versed in the knowledge of 
 the Bible. In our first Sabbath experience in the 
 place he said to me, * Will you go with me to 
 the Presbyterian Church this morning ?' I 
 13 
 
194 
 
 SFl RITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 n 
 
 hesitated a moment and then replied, ' Yes, if 
 you will go to the Roman Catholic Church with 
 me this afternoon." 'Certainly,' he unhesi- 
 tatingly answered, showing no prejudice against 
 it. I was not a little perplexed at my dilemma, 
 for I had a holy — rather an unholy — dread of 
 going into a Protestant church, looking upon it 
 as the sure way to perdition. My early teach- 
 ing on the subject came up forcibly to my mind. 
 But hoping that the harm I might incur would be 
 more than counterbalanced by the good he might 
 receive by going with me — for I greatly desired 
 to convert him to my faith — I finally ratified 
 my engagement and prepared to go with him. 
 " At the ringing of the bell from the old stone 
 tower by the bridge we started. But if the air 
 along the street had been filled with voices 
 whispering or crying, ' Don't go ! don't go ! ' I 
 could not have been more influenced. It seemed 
 as if my mother was looking at me, and plead- 
 ing to stay my steps. When I had entered the 
 vestibule of the church I shuddered, and would 
 have turned back had it not been that, like 
 Orpheus, who ventured to descend into Hades 
 to deliver his wife, Eurydice, I had hopes of 
 saving my friend. But soon the old gray- 
 haired sexton approached us, with such a sweet 
 smile and words so kind that T bega-n to feel 
 better, and he led us to a comfortable seat. 
 
 '' !!■ 
 
rUESBYTERIA N CH URCH. 
 
 105 
 
 That smile still lingers about my heart. Kind- 
 ness is a powerful educator. 
 
 " This was an occasion never to be forgotten. 
 The pastor's name was John Mattocks, now of 
 St. Paul, Minnesota. The pure simplicity of the 
 place and of the worship made a lasting impres- 
 sion upon my mind. All the praying, preaching, 
 and singing were in a language I perfectly under- 
 stood, and over all and through all there was a 
 fervent, loving spirit which quite captivated me. 
 It s-^emed as if the nobler sentiments and powers 
 of my heart and mind were drawn out and exer- 
 cised as I had never known them to be. I felt 
 a deeper love to God and his creatures. My re- 
 ligious nature was fed and refreshed. I regarded 
 the event as it seems to me a traveller must 
 regard an oasis in the desert, where he slakes 
 his thirst from pure, bubbling springs, and rests 
 his weary frame under a lofty palm which 
 supplies him both food and shelter. And yet 
 withal I was perplexed. How could these feel- 
 inors be reliable when such meetinors had been 
 represented to me by all my teachers as ' only 
 evil continually ? ' Were my emotions the 
 legitimate result of what I sar and heard, or 
 was T deceived ? Of one thing I felt quite sure, 
 that these meetings had been misrepresented, 
 whether wilfully or ignorantly I could not tell. 
 
196 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 \ •■! 
 
 i m 
 
 I was certainly none the worse for having been 
 there. It could not be a sin, much less a 
 sacrilege or a cfinie, as Rev. Dr. Challoner says, 
 to attend such meetings. Tiien T had been mis- 
 taught upon this subject. Might not the same 
 thing be true of other subjects ? One thought 
 seemed to awaken another, and I experienced 
 the truth which I had somewhere read :— 
 
 " ' JiuUed in the countless chambers of the brain, 
 Our thou<;hts are linked by many a hidden chain ; 
 Awake bub onu, and lo ! what myriads rise — 
 Each stamps iis image as the oiher flies.' 
 
 Whither this mysterious train of thought would 
 lead me I could not have guessed." 
 
 "Did you again go to the Roman Catholic 
 church ? " inquired Luella. 
 
 " (.Certainly. We went, as we had engaged to 
 do in the morning. But I was somewhat 
 ashamed, even then, of the contrast between the 
 two meetings. Here our eyes were dazzled with 
 the gaudy paraphernalia of the place ; with the 
 imposing equipage of the priest, as Dryden says, 
 
 " ' Clad in a gown that glows with Tyrian rays, 
 
 and with the pompous ceremony. Our ears were 
 filled with sounds pleasant enough to amuse, 
 quite operatic, perhaps, but we heard scarcely a 
 word that one in a hundred present could under- 
 
DA Y DA IV N. 
 
 197 
 
 stand. When I tried to apologize for this to my 
 friend, he quoted a brief criticism of the Apostle 
 Paul on tlie subject of speakin^if in the churches 
 in an 'unknown tongue,' which fell like a scath- 
 ing rebuke upon me, and 1 had nothing more to 
 say. But I had often vowed to be true to the 
 Church, thouLih 1 might be too weak to defend 
 her from her enemies, and so I continued attend- 
 ing lier services for several months, though with 
 decreasing interest, I occasionally attended a 
 Protestant church, and with increasing benefit. 
 It was during these days tliat 1 went with my 
 chum to a Sunday-school, with which I was so 
 pleased, that, as the boys sometimes say, ' I fell 
 in love with it.' " 
 
 " And did you at once begin courting, as is 
 generally the case ? " asked Johnnie, with a 
 roguish twinkle in his eyes. 
 
 " I am not ashamed to confess that 1 did, and it 
 was not long before we wedded, nor have we 
 ever soughi to b '■ divorced. I began to pay my 
 visits as often as I could, though not regularly, 
 either as a scholar or otherwise. I was still a 
 little shy of the influence of those simple Bible 
 lessons, for I was not yet the owner of a Bible, 
 and, of course, I was not a Bible reader." 
 
 " What ! nineteen years old, and had never 
 read a Bible I " exclaimed Luella. 
 
llli! i 
 
 ! 
 
 I! I 
 i 
 
 li m\ 
 
 f I 
 
 t;i 
 
 
 198 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " It is even so. T could not then have told 
 you whether the book of Matthew was in the 
 Old Testament or the Nev/." 
 
 " Pray, <^ive us the reasons wliy you did not 
 read the Bible before this time." 
 
 Looking at my watch, I answered, " It is now 
 too late, and I must reserve this question for our 
 next interview." 
 
XII. 
 
 The Bible — Various Versions — Luther — Jesuit 
 College, Montreal — Paul and Peter — Burni>os 
 — Mike and the Priest — My First Bible. 
 
 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.— David. 
 
 |HEN we next came together, Luella 
 renewed her question about the Bible. 
 
 ^i>l5^2^ She further remarked that she could 
 
 not see why Roman Catholics did not 
 love and read the Bible like Protestants. 
 For her part, she felt all the time like singing — 
 
 " How precious is tlie Book divine, 
 By inspiration given ; 
 Bright as a lamp its doctrines shine, 
 To guide our soids to heaven." 
 
 " You might go even further, Miss Luella," 
 said Professor W., " for, truly, the Bible is the 
 inestimable gift of God to man, the only true 
 rule of our faith and practice. It is the great 
 lighthouse of the world." 
 
 " It is, indeed, the square," I added, " by which 
 we are to measure and lay out our religious 
 work. It is also the plumb-line seen by the 
 
200 
 
 SPIRITUAL STBUOQLEa. 
 
 I a !: :■ ■! 
 
 !:'* 
 
 Prophet Amos in the midst of the people. 
 Isaiah says, ' Judgment also will I lay to the line, 
 and righteousness to the plummet,' meaning, of 
 course, the law of God, as revealed in his 
 word. He who is unwilling to abide by this 
 test must be false." 
 
 " As you intimate, these positions seem almost 
 axiomatic," remarked the Professor. " It is, 
 therefore, quite unaccountable, and very signifi- 
 cant withal, that the Romish authorities so un- 
 animously and decidedly oppose the Bible. It 
 would greatly please me to hear their reasons — 
 if they really have any — for so doing." 
 
 " The first reason I ever heard from them," I 
 replied, " is, that the Bible is essentially a Pro- 
 testant book. Hence I never heard a priest 
 mention the word Bible without contempt. 
 Whenever they desire to speak of their own 
 Bibles they use the term Holy Scriptures, or 
 Canonical Writings. In the Catechism in which 
 I was taught there is not a word said about the 
 Scriptures, for or against. Everything seems to 
 be referred to the authority of the Church." 
 
 " There is not much exaggeration, then," said 
 the Professor, *' in what a friend of mine wrote 
 me from Italy a few days ago. One para- 
 graph of his letter was as follows : ' Even 
 a Romish priest said to me, These gentlemen' 
 (meaning the Pope and his council) ' have 
 
LUTHEB. 
 
 201 
 
 certainly simplified matters greatly. They have 
 reduced the creed to a sinsfle article — ' I believe 
 in the Pope ; ' the Bible to a single ver^e — 
 ' Thou art Peter ; ' worship to a single observ- 
 ance — * Thou shalt worship the Blessed Virgin ; ' 
 and duty to a single rule — ' In every diffi- 
 culty, consult the Sacred Congregation at Rome 
 and obey it exactly.' " 
 
 " This is quite true, and differs from my 
 early training mainly in this, that with me 
 the Bible was wholly ignored. My mother 
 used to spend hours in telling us that Luther, 
 a learned but depraved monk, intending to 
 invent a new religion suited to his lusts, 
 wrote a book, caused it to be hidden under a 
 tombstone in a cemetery, and then reported 
 that, in a vision of the night, angels had re- 
 vealed to him where lay the true Book of God. 
 Accordingly search was made, the book was 
 found, and hence our Bible and the Protestant 
 religion. She further told us that this same 
 Luther was tormented with the fires of hell 
 even before his death, so that his friends were 
 compelled to immerse him in a tub of cold 
 water, which, however, would in a few minutes 
 boil around his burning frame, necessitating fre- 
 quent changes of the bath. So much, then, about 
 my mother's teachmgs in regard to what she 
 supposed to be the true origin of Protestantism." 
 
 
202 
 
 f^PIRITUAL STE^^^-ar^s. 
 
 ,;; ■! 
 
 " Running in a parallel line with this, and 
 sufficiently similar to it to show their common 
 origin, came the teaching of the priests, that 
 the Protestant Bible is a falsified copy of the 
 word of God. Now, here are two Bibles — King 
 James's translation, as it Is called, held as autho- 
 rity among Protestants, and the Douay version, 
 held as authority in the Romish Church — 
 and I assert, that after long and careful study 
 and comparing of both, T find them so much 
 alike, that, bating the notes in the Douay, and 
 the Apocrypha, which neither the Jews nor the 
 early Christians considered a part of the sacred 
 Canon, it requires considerable and close 
 scrutiny to find the difference. Protestants 
 believe their copy to be a little the more 
 perfect — and for good reasons, for it is trans- 
 lated directly from the original tongues ; while 
 the Douay is a translation from the Latin Vul- 
 gate, which was itself translated from the origi- 
 nal Hebrew and Greek by Jerome, and subse- 
 quently revised by order of the Council of 
 Trent. I have also two translatiorn in French 
 — one by Genoude, and a New Testament by 
 Le Maistre de Sacy — both Catholic editions, and 
 yet so few and merely verbal are the differences 
 between the Protestant and Catholic versions 
 in my possession, that I have but little pre- 
 ference for one or the other. I will venture 
 
JESUIT i'OLLKGE, MONTREAL. 
 
 203 
 
 to say, that it* either one is sent out into the 
 world without note or comment, it will become 
 a lamp for the feet of the nations, and a \\<^\\i 
 for their path." 
 
 " But how is it," inquired Monsieur Grenier, 
 " that priests are constantly urging that the Bible 
 is a dangerous book 'i Though several years a 
 student in the College of the Jesuits in Mont- 
 real, I never saw a Bible of any kind there. 
 The scarcity of Bibles among the Roman Ca- 
 tholics of Canada is proverbial." 
 
 " I remember well," I added, " that when an 
 oath was to be administered by an officer of the 
 law in our house once — and we were living in 
 the village of Henryville — it took a long time 
 to find a Bible for this purpose. And when at 
 last it was brouojht in — and I think it was a 
 Protestant copy — such a dread of it fell on us all, 
 that I hid away in a corner behind my mother, 
 just peeping out slyly to see what was going 
 on. and remained there trembling until the 
 dreaded volume was removed from the house. 
 But the priests say that it is dangerous because 
 * hard to be understood,' as Peter wrote in regard 
 to some things in the epistles of Paul. However, 
 Peter clearly shows that it is the unlearned and 
 unstable — though possibly learned in worldly 
 philosophy — who ' wrest these passages, as they 
 do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.' 
 
'i ! 
 
 204 
 
 SPIEITUAL STRUOGLES. 
 
 The passage does not disprove the fact of the 
 general simplicity of the Scriptures, which 
 Isaiah asserts are so easily understood that ' the 
 wayfaring man, though a fool, shall not err 
 therein,' and which Paul says to Timothy ' are 
 able to make wise unto salvation.' " 
 
 " But the priests hold, I believe, that Peter 
 condemns the right of private judgment in in- 
 terpreting the Scriptures," he continued. 
 
 " Let us examine the passage in question." J 
 then read from the Douay Bible as follows : 
 " And this voice we heard brought from heaven, 
 when we were with him in the holy mount. And 
 we have the more firm prophetical word : where- 
 unto you do \ ell to attend, as to a light that 
 shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and 
 the day-star arise in your hearts : understanding 
 this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is made 
 by private interpretation. For pro^jhecy came 
 not by the will of man at any time : but the holy 
 men of God spoke, inspired bj he Holy Ghost." 
 I then explained as follows : — 
 
 " The plain meaninp" of the apostle is this : 
 that while in the mount of transfiguration he 
 heard the voice of the Father testifying to the 
 Son's true Messiahship ; and now the writings 
 of the prophets concerning Christ are m'^re 
 firmly established or confirmed, showing that 
 they wrote or spoke as they were inspired by 
 
PAUL AND PETER. 
 
 205 
 
 the Holy Ghost, and not from their own in- 
 dividual or private interpretation or inven- 
 tion, as the original word evidently signifies. 
 Hence the ' private interpretation' refers to the 
 giving or uttering of prophecy, and not to its 
 reception or reading by ourselves. In any event, 
 Roman Catholic ]>riests and people ' will do well 
 to attend to these prophetical words,' as they 
 are exhorted to do by the inspired Peter, ' As to 
 a light that shineth in a dark place, until the 
 day dawn, and the day-star arise in their hearts. 
 When I add to Peter's exhortation the command 
 of Christ to ' search the Scriptures,' and Luke's 
 commendation of the noble Bereans who studied 
 with blessed effect the word of truth, and Paul's 
 recognition of the glorious influence of Scripture 
 knowledge upon Timothy from his childhood, 
 and many other scriptural directions all agree- 
 ing with these, I am puzzled even now to account 
 for that teaching which led me in my childhood 
 to entertain such a superstitious fear of the Bible. 
 I once had a frightful dream in which I saw 
 Satan reading a Testament, and, awaking in 
 the midst of a feverish excitement, I believed 
 he was the only being in the universe that ought 
 to have free access to this strange book ! 
 
 " Horrible as these views and feelings may 
 seem to you, they were nevertheless the legiti- 
 mate result of my instruction upon this subject. 
 
I 
 
 
 a I 
 
 n 
 
 i 
 
 206 
 
 SPIRITUAL STBUGGLES. 
 
 I had listened to many discourses by bishops and 
 priests against the use of the Bible. This was 
 the burden of teaching during the mission of 
 ' brother ' Telmon, at Henryville, at the time 
 I was received into the Order of the Scapular. 
 (See chapter viii.) And as actions always sjieak 
 louder than words, permit me to give you a 
 scrap of history concerning the operations of 
 that zealous man. About the middle of October, 
 18i2, by order of the Bishop of Montreal, 
 Telmon, with his coadjutors, came to a neigh- 
 bourhood in the town of Champlain, Clinton 
 County, N. Y., known as Corbeau, whose 
 inhabitants were nearly all French Canadians. 
 The people had been pretty well supplied with 
 Bibles and Testaments by means of colporteurs ; 
 hence the alleged necessity of the mission. After 
 the meetings had progressed some days, and 
 the priests had reached a high degree of power 
 over the public conscience, an order was issued 
 for the surrender of all the Bibles in the place. 
 Some of the people refused to give up what they 
 considered was to them a great treasure, but a 
 sufficient number of the sacred volumes were 
 brought to make a large bonfire, which was 
 kindled on the twenty-seventh of the month, in 
 open day, and in the presence of a large con- 
 course of people.* In 1855 I had the pleasure 
 
 * For further particulars see Bowling's "History of Ro- 
 manism," p. 612. 
 
BURNING BIBLES. 
 
 207 
 
 of visiting this neighbourhood and of preaching 
 to the people, where I found some of the 
 families who still retained their proscribed 
 Bibles. But I found one old lady who delighted 
 to speak of herself as an eye-witness and 
 participant in the scenes of that conflagration, 
 and who boasted of her ' zeal for God ' by 
 saying, ' 1 would run up to the burning pile, kick 
 the Bibles further into the fire, and then fly 
 back for fear they'd poison me ! '" * 
 
 " Ah, it is plain," said the Professor gravely, 
 "as to who is responsible for the fear which 
 the great majority of Romanists have of the 
 Bible. In my travels through Spain, Italy, 
 South America, and some of the Atlantic 
 islands, I learned of individuals and whole 
 families who were imprisoned, and otherwise 
 punished by the Church, for being found read- 
 ing, or even possessing, a Bible. The same 
 would undoubtedly occur in this country if 
 Romanists were in the ascendency, and the 
 priests had the requisite power, as * Father ' 
 
 * However, as the old woman thus kicked the partly-burned 
 Bibles, charred pieces were borne aloft by the wind, and came 
 back, like snowfiakes, upon the ground. A French t Canadian 
 boy of twelve, named Louis Morin, led by curiosity, gathered 
 a few of these fragments, and, reading them, was converted 
 to God. He died a few years later in the triumphs of the 
 Christian faith. Thus (Jod protects his holy Word, whatever 
 men may do. 
 
208 
 
 SPIBITUAL STMUQGLES. 
 
 \'i ;.:ii 
 
 tf I 
 
 Hecker, the editor of the * Catholic World,' does 
 not scruple, in public lectures and otherwise, to 
 announce that they will have as soon as 1890, if 
 not before ! "' 
 
 " I hope not," I replied. " But permit me 
 here to give you the last plea of the priests 
 against the reading of the Bible by their people. 
 They say that it is unnecessary, because they 
 teach all that the people need to know in order 
 to their salvation." 
 
 " But what would you think of me as the 
 teacher of your children," added the Pro^ssor, 
 "if I should tell them, ' You have no need of 
 text-books to study ; all that is necessary is to 
 listen to me ? ' " 
 
 " I would have you dismissed at once if I 
 could," I replied. 
 
 " And yet there would be more ground to jus- 
 tify me in pursuing this course than for the 
 religious teacher in that, for there is scarcely 
 any occasion for controversy in the realm of 
 the common sciences, and even if a scientific 
 error were inculcated it might be easily cor- 
 rected ; but this is not true of religious teaching. 
 I have always admired the sound philosophy as 
 well as keen wit of the Irishman, whose success- 
 ful controversy with his priest on this subject 
 runs as follows : ' But,' said the priest, ' the 
 Bible is for the priests, and not for the likes 
 
MIKE AND THE PRIEST. 
 
 209 
 
 me 
 
 if I 
 
 o* you.' ' O, but, sir ! ' lie answered, ' I was read- 
 ing in my Bible, You shall read it to your 
 chil'ren.' 'But, Michael,' says the priest, ' you 
 can't understand the Bible. It is not for you 
 to understand it, my man.' ' Ah, very well, 
 yer riverence, if I can't understand it it'll do 
 me no harm, and what I can understand does 
 me a heap o' good.' ' Very well, Mike, you 
 must go to the Church and the priests will teach 
 you. The Church will give you the milk of the 
 word.' ' And where, indade, does the Church 
 get it from but out of the Bible ? Ah, your 
 riverence, I'd rayther keep the cow meself.' " 
 
 After the subsidence of merriment which 
 followed the Professor's well-told story, I re- 
 marked : — 
 
 " Wherefore, then, this united and persistent 
 cry of the priests against the Bible in the family 
 and in the schools ? Why do they not keep 
 Bibles for sale, as they do other books in 
 abundance ? Why do they not suggest the use 
 of their own Bibles in the public schools if they 
 really object to ours, for no well-informed or 
 unprejudiced Protestant would object to their 
 introduction ? " 
 
 " Ah, sir," replied the Professor, " I am con- 
 vinced, as never before, that this is a crusade 
 against the system of OL\r CDmmon schools itself, 
 
 aad that it is the old cr^ of the slave-mastei' 
 U 
 
210 
 
 SPIItlTUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 i ii : 
 
 against the education of the slave. It is even 
 like the instinct of the boast of prey wliich 
 courts the darkness in which to commit its 
 depredations. There are men who love dark- 
 ness more than light because their deeds are 
 evil, It is even doubtful whether the Pope can 
 much lonoer remain in Rome amid the kindlino; 
 light of the Bible. The one or the other will 
 probably have to leave. But I tliink they might 
 as well ask us to exclude sun-light and fresh air 
 as the Bible from our schools. I admit, how- 
 ever, that the Bible is a dangerous book ! It is 
 dangerous to false doctrines and their teachers ; 
 dangerous to superstition, bigotry, and to civil 
 and religious despotism ; because it inspires 
 freedom of thought and of investigation, and a 
 sincere respect for conscience and the rights of 
 man, and thus becomes the palladium of our 
 liberties." 
 
 " I am sure," I added, " that it is not only an 
 alarm-bei. to awaken the careless, but also a 
 lever to ra,ise them up, and nerve-force to set 
 them in motion. It supplies the chief stimulus 
 and motive in every department of thought and 
 action. 'We account the Sciptures of God,' 
 wrote Sir Isaac Newton, * to be the most 
 sublime philosophy.' And yet how true is the 
 remark of an American divine : * The truths of 
 the Bible are like gold in the soil. Whole 
 
 ;i 
 
THE REFORMERS. 
 
 211 
 
 ^fenerations walk over it, and know not what 
 treasures are hidden beneath. So centuries of 
 men pass over the Scriptures, and know not 
 what riches lie under the i'eet of their inter- 
 pretations. Sometimes, when they discover 
 them, they call them new truths. One might 
 as well call gold newly dug new gold.' " 
 
 " It was just in this light, I am sure,' said Mon- 
 sieur Grenier, " that the Roman Catholic Church 
 regarded the utterances of the Reformers. They 
 were only old, precious, but forgotten truths, 
 long hidden in the rubbish of superstition. So 
 T think that the Protestantism of to-day is only 
 the re-assertion of old, apostolical truths against 
 the innovations and errors of media3val times, as 
 the study of the Bible clearly shows. Here is 
 an illustration of my meaning : A neglected 
 urchin, with dirty hands and face, and hair 
 uncombed, came into our school-room one day. 
 He was taken to the wash-room and compelled to 
 make a thorough toilet. When a mirror was 
 placed before him he started back in surprise, 
 and exclaimed, * Why, I've forgotten who this 
 is ! ' So, when the Reformers had done their 
 work upon the inner life and outward appear- 
 ance of the Church, the Romish hierarchy cried 
 out, * We don't know her ! ' But," abruptly 
 turning to me, he continued, " Do tell us how 
 you ever came to study the Bible, notwith- 
 
I 
 
 fSf^ 
 
 1 
 
 '■ 
 
 
 !i 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ?. ■:;■ 
 
 
 
 
 )'? - ■■■ 
 
 > 
 
 !■!' ',■ ' ■ ' 
 
 • ll'i^ 1 i 
 
 
 :;-f U 
 
 
 foi ' 
 
 212 
 
 8PIBITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 standing the teachings of your parents and the 
 priests." 
 
 " These were some of my reasons. 1 had 
 reached an age when I began to feel ashamed of 
 my ignorance of what then seemed to me to be 
 the Book of books, and^ the end of all con- 
 troversy. It did not satisfy me to tell a man, 
 * I believe so and so, because the priests tell me 
 so.' I wanted to be able to say, ' Thus saith the 
 Lord, the great Teacher.' I felt this the more 
 keenly, perhaps, because in all my debates with 
 Joseph Cook, he invariably overpowered me by 
 his thorough knowledge of the Bible. One day 
 while bleeding from the thrust of his two- 
 edged sword, I thus soliloquized : 'Young 
 man, I will fight you with your own weapons ! ' 
 I further reasoned in this way : ' If the doc- 
 trines of my Church are taught here ' — and I 
 did not then doubt that they were — * the more 
 I stud}'' them, the better prepared I shall be to 
 defend them, and to make terrible sorties 
 on the lines of the enem3\' Impelled by such 
 convictions I made the purchase of this little 
 Bible, upon the blank page of which you can 
 read this inscription : ' Keeseville, N. Y., No- 
 vember 13, 1852.' This book, as you can see 
 by examination, was thoroughly studied, and 
 it was productive of influences which I hope, 
 on some future occasion, to be able to explain." 
 
XIII. 
 
 "Blind Peter "—Alarmed — Bible Readinc; — Celi- 
 bacy — PRoniETS, Apostles, etc., Married Mex— 
 
 Apocalypse — My Mother in Tears- 
 THE Trees. 
 
 Preaching to 
 
 To the law and to the testimony : if tliey speak not auoordinjj to tlii.s 
 word, it is because tliere is no lijflit in them.— [miah. 
 
 iOTH the Professor and Monsieur Grenier 
 I were absent from our meeting tliis time, 
 
 (^ ^1 as were also Johnnie and Mary, wlio had 
 >'»^^5- country 
 
 gone to vi.sit their grandfather in the 
 
 But their place was at h^ast 
 partially filled by a popular individual well 
 known as " Blind Peter," who, in consequence of 
 his total blindness and sincere piety, is a great 
 favourite in the family. As his parents and 
 Nora's happened to be from the same parish in 
 Ireland, and were fast friends, who often spoke 
 to their children of each other, they seemed 
 even on their first meeting to be old acquaint- 
 ances. Peter lost no time in further intiuencing 
 Nora favourably toward himself by presenting 
 her a beautiful little book which bears his name, 
 
\ I 
 
 ' 
 
 
 « 
 
 214 
 
 SPIBITUAL STBVGGLEa. 
 
 and recounts, in a simple, yet forcible style, the 
 eventful story of his life. Though never a very 
 firm Roman Catholic even in his Emerald Isle, 
 and still less so after his immigration here, he 
 yet, like thousands of others, remained a nomi- 
 nal member of that Church until about twenty- 
 eight years of age, when he was converted and 
 became a sincere Protestant Christian. The sale 
 of his book is now his chief means of support, 
 and our children delight to lead him around 
 among the people, who generously patronize ^um. 
 Having been here two or three days, and hearing 
 much said about our Sunday afternoon inter- 
 views, he became deeply interested, and was 
 pleased to become a participant in our dis- 
 cussions. He was a true namesake of the great 
 apostle, at least in his readiness to talk ; and as 
 soon as he had been led to a chair, and all were 
 quietly seated, he said : — 
 
 " I'm right sorry that I have not heard your 
 conversations from the first. But I hope to get 
 the substance of them, at any rattj, in a book 
 some time. And now I shall rejoice to hear you 
 speak, as you intimated yesterday that you 
 expected to do, on the influence of Bible reading 
 on your mind." 
 
 " I ought, perhaps, to tell you now," I replied, 
 '* that my only desire when I began to read the 
 Scriptures was to fortify myself in Romanism. 
 
SWOBD OF THE SPIBIT. 
 
 215 
 
 The New Testament first received my attention. 
 There was much that I did not understand, and 
 this caused me to think that, perhaps, the priests 
 were right in attributing obscurity to the sacred 
 Book. But I found myself ahnost involuntarily 
 reasoning on this wise : ' If I ^vere to read a 
 treatise on mathematics, or philosophy, or even 
 history, how little would I understand from the 
 first perusal. But by mastering the elementary 
 principles and simpler rules, and g'raduisUy 
 advancing^, I miofht gain a tolerable knowledcje of 
 these subjects. So will I do with the Bible.' I 
 knew it contained mysteries, but I hoped to 
 learn what was knowable and practical. I soon 
 found it to be a wonderful key to unlock the 
 secrets of God's will, and of my inner life. 1 
 then saw what Paul metcut by saying : * The 
 word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper 
 than :«iiy two-edged sword, piercing even to the 
 divi'iing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the 
 joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the 
 thouo^hts and intents of the heart.' " 
 
 " But was this ' sword of the Spirit turned 
 for or against Romanism ? " asked Peter. 
 
 "At first it seemed to cut in every direction ; 
 for while there were passages that appeared to 
 favour the Romish Church, I soon became 
 greatly alarmed, not so much at the teaching of 
 a single verse, but at the drift of entire para- 
 
210 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 ] 
 
 graphs against it. For instance, every Roman 
 Catholic knows what prominence the priests give 
 to ' traditions ' in their general teachiia^-s. But 
 I found both Matthew and Mark, also Paul to 
 the Colossians, and to Titus, agreeing in saying, 
 that * in vain they do worship God, teaching for 
 doctrines the commandments of men. Thus 
 have ye made the commandments of God of 
 none effect by your tradition.' This was a cut- 
 ting blow of the Spirit's sword which I could 
 not parry. 
 
 " But my alarm greatly increased on reading 
 the following passage in one of Paul's letters to 
 Timothy: 'Now the Spirit speaketh expressly 
 that in the latter times some shall depart from 
 the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and 
 doctrines of devils ; speaking lies in hypocrisy, 
 having their conscience 'seared with a hot iron ; 
 forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain 
 from meats,' etc. ' Is it possible,' I queried, ' that 
 even the Christian Church, or any branch of it, 
 can thus depart from the faith, contrary to the 
 teaching of the priests, who assert that the 
 Roman Catholic Church, at least, can never go 
 astray? And, then, this departure is so great, 
 that instead of having recourse to the blessed 
 Holy Spirit, like the disobedient King Saul, they 
 ' give heed to seducing spirits,' etc., that is, to 
 alleged apparitions of departed saints, and 
 
ALARMED. 
 
 217 
 
 especially of the Virgin Mary. Furthermore, 
 those who have thus departed from the ' faith 
 which was once delivered unto the saints ' may 
 be known by two leading characteristics, 
 namely, they ' forbid to marry,' and * command 
 to abstain from meats,' These conclusions were 
 stinging to my pride and alarming to my con- 
 science. I found in the Douay Bible, that, by 
 means of a note, an effort is made to apply this 
 passage exclusively to certain small and almost 
 unknown sects of ancient heretics, most of 
 whom existed in the apostle's da}^ and held 
 to the above errors. But it must be remem- 
 bered that this falling away was to be ' in the 
 latter times ' —times remote from the days of 
 the Tvriter. And even if the passage applies to 
 the sects mentioned in the note, which is not at 
 all likely, it applies with equal force to all those 
 who teach the same pernicious errors. 
 
 " My fears that this description was directly 
 applicable to the Roman Catholic Church were 
 greatly confirmed when I found in the same 
 epistles of Paul the very sentences which iden- 
 tify the priests with this departure from the 
 faith. I refer to the passages which relate to 
 their marriage, where it is said that even ' the 
 bishop should be the husband of one wife, the 
 father of children, one that ruleth well his own 
 house, having his children in subjection with all 
 
218 
 
 SPIBITUAL 8TBUGQLEH. 
 
 y ■ r 
 
 i : 
 
 gravity.' Having read thus far, I endeavourd 
 to believe that the bishop's ' wife ' here meant 
 the Church, which is sometimes called the 
 spouse of Christ, and that his * children ' were 
 the members of the Church. But further read- 
 ing dissipated my fair conjecture, and left me 
 in the midst of perplexity and alarm. ' For,' I 
 read, ' if a man know xiot how to lule his own 
 house, how shall he take care of the Church of 
 God ? ' I clearly saw that * his own house ' and 
 * the Church of God ' were two distinct realms, 
 which ought to resemble each other, it is true; 
 so closely, in fact, that the well-regulated family 
 should be the perfect type of the Church, and 
 this of heaven. Then my mind went back to 
 the class of men whom God had generally 
 chosen to ale his people. So far as I could 
 learn, they were almost invariably married men. 
 Such was the case with the patriarchs, the pro- 
 phets, and the priests of Old Testament times. 
 The apostles of our Lord were married men, as 
 the above passage plainly intimates. We are 
 not left, however, to mere intimations. We 
 know that Peter, who is taken as the pattern 
 and supposed tirst pope of the Roman Catholic 
 Church, was a married man, whose wife's 
 mother Jesus cured of a fever." 
 
 " Roman Catholic priests teach that Peter and 
 
CELIBACY. 
 
 219 
 
 the other apostles forsook their wives and fami- 
 lies to follow Christ," said Peter. 
 
 " But history denies any such assertion. The 
 apostles undoubtedly left their families tem- 
 porarily — never otherwise — when they went 
 out upon their extensive missionary tours, as 
 Christ intimates in his conversation with Peter 
 on this subject. They were all undoubtedly 
 willing to leave their families forever if neces- 
 sary. But Paul, who is the only bachelor 
 epostle we know of — unless Barnabas be an- 
 other — clearly shows that it was his right, as an 
 apostle, to be married if he chose ; that mar- 
 riage is honourable in all classes ; and that it was 
 a voluntary surrender of his privilege which 
 kept him single. He also declares that his con- 
 dition was an exception to apostolic usage. 
 Hear what he says : ' Have we not power ' (re- 
 ferring to himself and Barnabas) ' to lead about 
 a sister, a wife, as other apostles, and as the 
 brethren of the Lord, and Cephas V Rev. Dr. 
 Challoner changes Protestants with havino- wil- 
 fully perverted this text. He says the word 
 wife should be translated woman — that is, a 
 Christian woman, a sister in Christ. Now, I 
 acknowledge that the original word signifies 
 woman. It is a word, however, which the 
 Greek classic authors, whom Paul often quotes, 
 use for wife. And if it does not mean wife 
 

 ^; 
 
 f20 
 
 SFIBITUAL STRVOQLES. 
 
 here, what purpose could the word serve in 
 the passage after the word sister has been intro- 
 duced ? It would only be a ridiculous taut- 
 ology. Then Dr. Challoner would certainly not 
 insist upon his rendering if he carefully re- 
 flected upon the liability of such conduct to be 
 misconstrued — conduct that would have pro- 
 duced end. ess scandal even among the holy 
 apostles — which he would make out Paul was 
 trying to vindicate, namely, that of leading 
 about a woman not his wife !" 
 
 " Ah ! " exclaimed Peter, " these priests are 
 such paragons of virtue, so far removed from 
 the least suspicion of impure thoughts even, 
 that they could not conceive of aqy impro- 
 priety, not to say scandal, in unmarried people 
 going about in this style ! But to drop this 
 irony, don't you see how they endeavour by 
 this interpretation both to hide the truth of the 
 apostle's meaning, and to cover up their own 
 conduct with the nuns ? " 
 
 " Do you really believe, Peter," asked Nora 
 excitedly, "that there is ever any improper inti- 
 macy between the priests and the ' sisters ? ' 1 
 have often had my suspicions, as I know many 
 Roman Catholics do, but I have never dared ex- 
 press them fully." 
 
 "How can it bo otherwise T' Peter replied. 
 
APOCAL 7PSE. 
 
 12] 
 
 " Toil must judge ot human nature there as you 
 do elsewhere." 
 
 " Now," I remarked, " I want to say to you 
 that those Scriptures which bear upon the 
 social and domestic life of the early ministers 
 of Christ not only made me feel that the Romish 
 Church had widely departed from the faith, but 
 to fear that the corruption was festering at its 
 very fouutain-head — even among its teachers. 
 And ' like priests like people,' was a motto I 
 often thouii'ht of. These thiuors made me rest- 
 less and unhappy. However, my fear did not 
 culminate in a panic until I reached the seven- 
 teenth and eighteenth chapters of Revelation. 
 I cannot now describe to you the convictions 
 that came rushing upon me as I read those pa - 
 sages. From indications that lie on the very 
 face of them, and pervade them throughout, 
 came the unavoidable conclusion that the great 
 city spoken of is Rome ; that the w^omau decked 
 with royal purple and scarlet, with the golden 
 chalice in her hand, who was to exert such 
 universal power over the kingdoms of the 
 earth, and who made merchandise of the souls 
 of men, is no other than the Roman Catholic 
 Church. I read the passages carefully, and 
 trembled. I re-read them and then wept. I 
 cannot portray the sadness and terror of that 
 moment. Up to this time I had entertained 
 
 
Bj. ■•) 
 
 I 
 
 
 ^0 
 
 V.h i| 
 
 i 
 
 222 
 
 SPIBITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 hopes that something might yet be able to dis- 
 sipate my apprehension with regard to errors 
 in the Church. I still continued to attend 
 her services, determined to clincf to her to the 
 lasf. ; but my study of these chapters seemed 
 to have quite severed the knot which bound me 
 to her, though there still lingered a hope that 
 I might be mistaken. 
 
 ■' But from this time there sprang up in my 
 heart a peculiar attachment to the little Bible 
 which was making such disclosures to me. 1 
 felt like saying, ' If I am wrong, let me know 
 it.' At this time I carried my Bible every- 
 where with me, and spent all my leisure mo- 
 ments in reading it. Some Sabbaths I read 
 nearly all day long, scarcely taking time to 
 eat my meals. In this inquiring and undecided 
 state 1 continued during the fall and winter 
 of 1852-53. The following spring I visited my 
 friends at Ticonderoga, and, in my sanguine and 
 ingenuous manner, I made frequent mention of 
 the things which had recently so fully possess- 
 ed my thoughts. Too great frankness in speak- 
 ing my mind is, probably, one of my faults. 
 My mother, especially, was thrown into a 
 state of excitement and alarm over me. One 
 day I was reading my Bible to myself, alone 
 with my mother, in her room. She was busy 
 sewing ; but I saw that a great care was upon 
 
M7 MO THEE IN TEARS. 
 
 223 
 
 her. At lennrth she raised her eves from her 
 work, and, with a pathos I can ncer forget, 
 she s&id, ' 0, Louis ! sers cette Bible; die va te 
 rviiner / ' * O, Louis ! put away that Bible ; it 
 will ruin you ! ' Then slie began to exliort 
 me and to plead, until the big tears ran down 
 her face in streams. This was one of the 
 most fearful moral conflicts of my life. 1 loved 
 my mother as ardently as a child can love. J 
 also loved my Bible. I knew not what to do. 
 Filial affection seemed likely to overpower 
 moral obligation. There were moments when it 
 appeared as if she might be right, and I wrong. 
 I assured her, however, that 1 was actuated by 
 the purest of motives. 
 
 " After a while I slipped the Bible into my 
 pocket, left the house, and repaired to a 
 beautiful wood -crowned hill which overlooks 
 a portion of Lake George, where, alone with 
 God, I studied the inspired word. By and by, 
 impelled by an influence which I could not in- 
 terpret, I was led to select a verse, generally 
 from Proverbs or the Epistle of James, which 
 were at that time favourite books, the one 
 for its diversified wisdom, the other for its prac- 
 tical piety, and from this text I would preach 
 to the woods. And, truly, I never preached 
 to more attentive audiences ! The tall, well- 
 proportioned, livinor trees T called saints; the 
 
Ill 
 
 224 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 distorted and decayed trees I called sinners; 
 and thus I endeavoured to preach the Gospel 
 both to good and bad. These were golden op- 
 portunities to my own heart and mind. Though 
 days of conflict, they were also days of con- 
 quest." 
 
 Here ended our discussion, which was fol- 
 lowed by an earnest prayer by Peter, who be- 
 sought the Lord for light to shine espe- 
 cially upon those who are forsaking error and 
 seeking the truth as revealed in the Gospel of 
 Jesus. 
 
 ! ,i 
 
 I -i 
 
XIV. 
 
 Transition — Nora Saved — Graven Images — The 
 Virgin Mary — Testimony op Jesus — Purgatory — 
 Indulgences — Prayers for the Dead — Money — 
 Heartles.sness. 
 
 Prove all things ; hold fast that which is goofl. — Paul, 
 
 
 ,^^-^^HE daj' of our gathering, filled with co- 
 (Itl^ incidences which revealed the working 
 Ji)^.,;^ of God's own hand among us, had been 
 "■^f^'^ peculiarly interostinj;. At our morninc: 
 >4-^'?,f services quite a number of persons, in- 
 cluding several Sunday-school scholars, had 
 come forward to unite with the Church on their 
 personal profession of faith in our Lord Jesus 
 Christ. Not least in the joy of our hearts came 
 Professor \V. and Nora ! After the adminis- 
 tration of baptism to those who had not been 
 thus consecrated to God in their infancy, the 
 whole Church, in her augmented and joyful 
 strength, joined in partaking of the holy com- 
 munion, as was our custom to do on the first 
 Sabbath of each month. The sermon of the 
 
22G 
 
 SPIRITUAL 8TBVG0LES. 
 
 occasion was preached by Rev. Damas Breaux, 
 also a convert from Romanism. It was a mem- 
 orable hour, making us feel as if we had fallen 
 upon apostolic days. 
 
 When the time of our afternoon seance 
 arrived — and all who had ever been with us 
 were present — Monsieur Grenier gladly informed 
 us that in the inornino- he had consummated his 
 alliance with a branch of the Protestant Church, 
 thoujih not the same to which we here belonged. 
 But he felt, as had been maintained throughout 
 our discussions, that Protestantism is a unit on 
 the fundamental teachings of Revelation. This 
 information was received with great joy by us 
 all, and it prepared the way for the Professor to 
 remark, that two things developed in our talks 
 here had led him to resolve upon the decisive 
 step he had taken this morning. First, the 
 eagerness with which he saw that Romanists like 
 Monsieur Grenier and Nora, becoming enlight- 
 
 ened in the 
 
 teachings of the 
 
 Bible, seek to 
 
 identify themselves in experience and practice, 
 notwithstanding tlic obstacles before them, with 
 evangelical Churches. This made him feel 
 ashamed of his want of interest, and convinced 
 him of the Divine reality of experimental 
 religion. Secondly, he was made to feel, as 
 never before, that the great and tinal conflict 
 between evangelical truth and man-devjsod ervov 
 
HAPPY NOMA. 
 
 227 
 
 was to be fought out on this continent and in 
 this country. But he added with emphasis — 
 
 " The weapons of our warfare must not be 
 carnal — for I am fully in accord with my Quaker 
 ancestors on this subject — but mighty through 
 God to the pulling down of strongholds. It is 
 a spiritual conflict, and spiritual weapons must 
 be used. It is not that we wish to spill blood, 
 but we desire to dissipate ignorance, prejudice, 
 hardness of heart, until all over these lands and 
 the world there shall be but one Shepherd and 
 one fold. I, therefore, believe that the first 
 duty every American owes to his country and to 
 mankind is to ' seek the kingdom of God and 
 his righteousness ; ' that is, as I understand it, 
 to harmonize his inner and outward life with 
 the remedial scheme of the Gospel, and to this 
 end he should identify himself with some branch 
 of the evangelical Church. This have I done 
 to-day — one of the brightest and best days of 
 my life." 
 
 As he uttered these words, Nora's eyes spar- 
 kled with a joy which she seemed utterly unable 
 to restrain, and she exclaimed : — 
 
 " O ! I wish I could express myself as some of 
 the rest of you do. Yet I can sing, 
 
 ' 'Tis mercy all, innnensc aiid IVt'i;, 
 Kor, luy God, it louud out uie! 
 
1^1 
 
 I 
 
 
 nit 
 
 228 
 
 81 IBITUAL STBUGGLES. 
 
 To be saved from all our sins ; how great is the 
 blessing ! And then to know that we are saved 
 now, by the blessed and positive witness of the 
 Holy Spirit as I feel it in my heart to-day ! 
 This is heaven below. Don't think me beside 
 myself, for, like St. Paul, I am only ' speaking 
 forth words of soberness and truth.' However, 
 there is still a bitter ingredient in my cup — not 
 that I had to sacrifice too much to attain to this, 
 for one moment's heavenly bliss, such as I know, 
 more than compensates me for the loss of all 
 things besides ; but my friends, including my 
 dear mother, are still in the gall of bitterness, 
 and in the bond of iniquity." 
 
 Here, choking with sobs, she could proceed 
 no further, and I requested the Professor to lead 
 us in prayer. Complying, he thanked God for 
 what his grace and providence had done for us ; 
 praised him for the tokens of his presence among 
 us to melt our hearts in tenderness toward the 
 unsaved, and closed with an earnest plea, which 
 elicited several hearty amens, that our dear 
 friends might soon be partakers of like precious 
 faith with us, and that this land might ere long 
 become as the garden of the Lord. At the close 
 of this delightful exercise, there being a general 
 desire that T should return to my personal narra- 
 tive, I resumed : — 
 
 " After becoming convinced of many errors in 
 
GRAVEN IMAGES. 
 
 229 
 
 the Church, I began to read the Bible, as it 
 seems to me it ought always to be read if great 
 good is desired, not to establish some preconceived 
 theory or dogma, but simply to learn the mind 
 of the Spirit who inspired it, or the scope of 
 truth in the mind of the sacred writer. 
 Influenced by such an endeavor I began to 
 search and study. The doctrine of images in 
 the churches was one of the first that presented 
 itself for review. I had been taught that we 
 may honour the images of the saints as well as 
 their relics. In her offices for the dying, the 
 Church directs that a crucifix be often looked 
 upon and kissed, and that an image of the 
 Virgin Mary be placed before the eyes, that 
 recourse may be had to her. In all the French 
 Catechisms I have over seen, the second com- 
 mandment, namely, * Thou shalt not make unto 
 thee an}' graven image. . . . Thou shalt not bow 
 down thyself to them nor serve them,' etc., is 
 entirely omitted." 
 
 "But that must leave only nine command- 
 ments," quickly remarked Johnnie. 
 
 " The Church has ingeniously divided the 
 tenth commandment into two parts, thus pre- 
 serving the original number, but making two 
 which are alike in spirit." 
 
 " Such mutilation and rending of holy writ," 
 exclaimed Aunt Melie, " is dreadful to think of, 
 
ii 
 
 \m 
 
 ir\ if 
 
 
 230 
 
 8PIBITUAL 8TBVGGLE8. 
 
 and must bring upon the Church which dares 
 attempt it the swift judgments of God ! " 
 
 " Think of my own indignation toward a 
 Church that could purposely be guilty of such 
 gross perversion of truth, when I found the 
 direct command of God against this practice. 
 This mandate is still further explained and 
 enforced by several sacred writers both in the 
 Old and New Testaments. It is not enough 
 that most Romish authors, including Dr. 
 Challoner, who covers nearly seven pages of his 
 book in defence of this devotion, should say 
 that they do not worship the image ; this is 
 only pettifogging." 
 
 " Even admitting, for the sake of the argu- 
 ment," said the Profes3or, "that this plea be 
 true, it is saying no more than heathens 
 generally claim for themselves. Most of them 
 assert that they do not worship the manikin, 
 but the deity it represents. So the Ephesians 
 whom Paul encountered on this question of 
 idolatry were worshippers of the great goddess 
 Diana, whose image was supposed to have 
 fallen down from Jupiter. It was the goddess, 
 not the image, which was the object of their 
 homage. The same was true of the Athenians, 
 whose altar or shrine was inscribed 'To the 
 Unknown God.' " 
 
 " Your remarks are pertinent, Professor, or 
 
THE VIRGIN MABY. 
 
 231 
 
 rather, brother in Christ, as I ought to call you 
 now. I cannot see how the Romish Church can 
 be exonerated from the charge of idolatry. Dr. 
 Chal loner endeavours to wriggle out of this 
 dilemma by saying that 'those whom the 
 Roman Catholics honour with an inferior venera- 
 tion for Gods sake,' those before whose images 
 they offer prayers, ' are, indeed, the ministers 
 and servants of the one true God, while the 
 inferior deities of the heathens were wicked 
 wretches, such as Mars, Bacchus, Hercules, etc' " 
 
 " Now I aver," again said the l*rofessor, "that 
 the only logical deduction that can be drawn 
 from the doctor's own promise is, that Romanism 
 and heathenism are two great idolatries, and 
 that they differ only in degree ; Romanism 
 being more elevated and refined in proportion 
 as its inferior deities are more pure than those 
 of heathenism. This is not the first time this 
 criticism has occurred to me, ..nd though it may 
 seem severe, I am sure it cannot be successfully 
 obviated." 
 
 " My study of the images of the saints and 
 their relation to pure worship soon led me to its 
 cognate branch — namely, the prayers to the 
 Virgin Mary, and to uhe multitude of the saints. 
 The Romish Church puts in the plea hfre 
 that she does not worship these saints, but 
 simply requests their prayers, as we do each 
 
.1- 
 
 i' ■ 
 
 :| 
 
 I 
 
 I I 
 
 -.'it; 
 
 
 232 
 
 8PIBITUAL STIWGOLES. 
 
 other's prayers on earth. To this point I 
 directed my examination. In the litanies to 
 the Virgin, as found in the prayer-book, 
 entitled * Way to Heaven,' * pages CO itnd 
 574, she is called ' Seat of Wisdom, Cause of 
 our Joy, Ark of the Covenant, Gate of Heaven, 
 Morning Star, Refuge of Sinners, Seat of the 
 Most Holy Trinity, Image of the Wisdom of 
 God, Dispenser of Graces, Model of all Perfection, 
 Source of Divine Love,' etc. In the same book, 
 page 388, the third of six fundamental rules 
 laid down for the guidance of the Arch-confra- 
 ternity of the Holy and Immaculate Heart of 
 Mary, reads as follows : ' No intercession is so 
 effectual as that of the blessed mother of God ; 
 let us, therefore, seek it.' On page 77 we find 
 this prayer : ' my Lady, holy Mary, to thy 
 blessed keeping, and to the bosom of thy tender 
 compassion, I commend my soul and body this 
 day, every day, and at the hour of my depar- 
 ture ; all my hopes, my consolation, my anxieties 
 and miseries, my life and the end of my life, I 
 commit to thy keeping,' etc. On page 389 is 
 this : * Come, my soul, prostrate thyself at 
 the feet of Mary thy Mother, and depart not 
 till she hath blessed thee.' On the next page a 
 family is offered to Mary in these terms : ' Most 
 
 * Approved by f John, Archbishop of New York. 
 
THm VIRGIN MARY. 
 
 233 
 
 blessed Virgin, our immaculate Queen and 
 Mother, refuge and consolation of the distressed, 
 prostrate before thy throne, with all my family, 
 I choose thee as my patroness, my mother, and 
 my advocate with God. I consecrate myself 
 forever, with all that belongs to me, to thy 
 service.' Many similar passages might be quoted 
 from the same book, to show that, in the matter 
 of consecrating ourselves and families to her, 
 Mary is put in the place of God the Father. 
 She is also represented as God, sitting on a 
 throne. In the titles which are given her, and 
 the intercession attributed to her, she is put in 
 the place of Christ the Son. The artists of the 
 Church also represent the woman instead of her 
 seed, as bruising the serpent's head. On page 
 415, in an article entitled ' Di/ine Praises,' ar- 
 ranged for choral responses, th 3 Virgin occupies 
 the place of the Holy Ghost. The article runs 
 fls follows, and one year's indulgence is granted 
 for every '•ecital : — 
 
 "' Blessed be God.' 
 
 "* Blessed be his holy name.' 
 
 " * Blessed be Jesus Christ, true God and true 
 man.* 
 
 " * Blessed be the name of Jesus.' 
 
 " • Blessed be Jesus in the most holy Sacrament 
 of the altar.' 
 
234 
 
 ^PimWAL ^TliVOGLES. 
 
 n :l 
 
 I'! '■!'. 
 
 [V. 
 
 ■-i M 
 
 
 
 
 "'Blessed be the ^reat Mother of God, the 
 
 most holy Mary.' 
 
 " * Blessed be the name of Mary, Virgin and 
 Mother.' 
 
 " ' Blessed be God in his angels and in his 
 saints.' " 
 
 " This is not only idolatry," cried Aunt Melie, 
 " but the grossest blasphemy. It falls not short 
 of what I deem to be the sin against the Holy 
 Ghost. P- makes me tremble with horror to 
 hear it!" 
 
 " We need no more proof," added Monsieur G., 
 "to fix upon Romanists the charge of worship- 
 ping the Virgin Mary." 
 
 " And yet," I conti' 1, " lest some one should 
 say that this represei^i/ttoion is not complete, let 
 me turn to page G22 of the book just quoted for 
 the final proof upon this subject. Here is a 
 prayer with this significant heading : ' To the 
 Worshippers of the Most Blessed Virgin, Mother 
 of God.' At the close of the prayer, in which 
 there is lano-uasje more trustful and adoring 
 than in anything yet quoted, we find these 
 sentences in italics : ' So says the sweet St. 
 Bernard. Worship, then, the Mother of God in 
 thy life, and thou shalt feel that thou hast 
 worshipped one who is truly a Mother, in death 
 and in all eternity. For to be worshipped and 
 regarded as a Mother is assuredly her delight. 
 
TESTIMONY OF JESUS. 
 
 235 
 
 For that she might be the Mother and Mediatrcss 
 of sinners it was that she became the Mother of 
 God.' 
 
 " Imagine now, if you can, what were ray 
 feelings, after having been taught such doctrines 
 as these, to find directly opposite teachings in 
 the word of God. When the Ma«xi found the 
 Nazarenc family in the Bethlehem manger, they 
 worshipped the child only. So did the shep- 
 herds. When the child was lost at Jerusalem 
 at the close of the passover feast, Mary knew 
 no more where he was than any other mother 
 would have known of her child. After he 
 entered his public ministry, all that Jesus ever 
 said about his mother, though couched in dutiful 
 and respectful language, was evidently intended 
 to check every tendency toward worshipping 
 her. For instance, when a certain woman of 
 the company that followed him lifted up her 
 voice and said unto him : * Blessed is the womb 
 that bare thee, and the paps which thou hast 
 sucked ' — that is, blessed is tby mother — he said, 
 * Yea, rather blessed are they that hear the word 
 of God, and keep it.' Christ . .i to be known, not 
 after the flesh, but by faith and love. 
 
 " When the disciples besought Christ to teach 
 them to pray, he said, * When ye pray, say. Our 
 Father who art in heaven,' etc., and he never 
 taught them any other prayer. How could he 
 
23C 
 
 SPIRITUAL STIiUGGLEii. 
 
 make an omission so grave if Romanism be cor- 
 rect ? Just before his departure he said to 
 them: 'Whatsoever' — and this covered all 
 their possible needs for the present and for all 
 time to come — 'whatsoever ye shall ask the 
 Father in my name, he will give it you.' All 
 recorded prayers of the apostles were addressed 
 to the Deity. When, on the Isle of Patmos, St. 
 John would have worshipped the angel who 
 made revelations to him, he was forbidden : 
 ' See thou do it not ; worship God.' How this 
 array of Scripture facts, taught in the Douay 
 Bible as well as in all others, could be reconciled 
 with the teachings of the Church, was more 
 than I could comprehend. I found here a point- 
 blank contradiction which no sophistry could 
 remove nor obscure." 
 
 " But Roman Catholic priests plead," remarked 
 Nora, " that as our mothers are generally more 
 tender toward us than our fathers, so the Virgin 
 Mother is more readily touched with the feeling 
 of our infirmities than is the Father."* 
 
 " O ! I know how strongly this manner of put- 
 ting the subject appeals to our capricious and 
 youthful sympathies. There is wonderful power 
 in woman's tenderness, especially a mother's. I 
 have seen vast multitudes melted into tears by 
 
 * See the prayer-books. 
 
RIDICULOUS SOPHISTRIES. 
 
 237 
 
 be cor- 
 said to 
 ;red all 
 1 for all 
 ask the 
 .u.' All 
 Idressed 
 mos, St. 
 ^cl who 
 bidden : 
 [qw this 
 
 Douay 
 conciled 
 IS more 
 a point- 
 er could 
 
 marked 
 
 y more 
 
 i Virgin 
 
 feeling 
 
 of put- 
 ous and 
 1 power 
 er's. I 
 ears by 
 
 the adroit and earnest priest who desired to 
 lead the people to the shrines of the Virgin, es- 
 pecially in her ' Novenas,' or nine days' devo- 
 tions. But to the thoughtful student of the 
 Bible such reasoning is sophistical and silly. 
 It presupposes that Mary is omnipresent and 
 omniscient ; for she must be everywhere, in 
 order to hear the prayers of the scattered multi- 
 tudes that simultaneously call upon her ; and 
 she must know all things, to be able to read the 
 thoughts of their hearts. But if she has these 
 attributes, she is equal with God. All this is 
 unscriptural and false. It further presumes 
 that one, at least, of God's creatures is more per- 
 fect in compassion, and more full of mercy, 
 than the Creator himself, which is ludicrous as 
 well as sacrilegious. But keep in mind, Nora, 
 that God loves to be inrjuired of for all the 
 things we need, and that he yearns over all his 
 children with a compassion more tender and 
 constant than ever gushed even from a loving 
 mother's heart. He who gave mothers their 
 tenderness must be more tender than they. 
 
 " ' Every human tie may perish ; 
 
 Friend to friend unfaithful prove ; 
 
 Mothers cease their own to cherish ; 
 
 Heaven and earth at last remove ; 
 
 But no changes 
 Can attend Jehovah's love.' " 
 
238 
 
 SPIRITUAL STIiUaOLES. 
 
 " Jndeecl, sir, I know it now, but I have not 
 always known it. It sijarcely seems that I am 
 the same person 1 wa.' .>nce. I seem to be in a 
 new world. How (juickly and beautifully my 
 heart now interprets what was difficult before. 
 Truly, I am a new creature : * Old things have 
 passed away ; behold, all things are become 
 new 1 ' But [ fear that by my ecstatic out- 
 bursts 1 am interrupting your narrative." 
 
 " ' Variety is the spice of life,' Nora," re- 
 sponded Luella, " and I'm sure we all enjoy this 
 kind of spicing. So don't borrow any trouble 
 about it. When God's love burns in our hearts, 
 it is often difficult to kem from speaking or 
 singing. And yet, perhaps we would all be glad 
 to hear from father now if you are through." 
 
 " Through ! If T had a thousand tongues I 
 would want them all to sing my great Re- 
 deemer's praise, and even then it seems as if all 
 eternity would be too short to tell the story of 
 Jesus and his love. As we often sing, 
 
 "' Moi(! wonderful it seems 
 Than all the golden fancies 
 Of all our golden dreams. ' 
 
 " But, really," she continued, turning to me, 
 
 ' please excuse me for delaying you so much." 
 
 "God bless your soul, Nora!" exclaimetl 
 
PURGATORY. 
 
 239 
 
 Blind Peter. " As the gardens of myrrh and 
 sweet spices are stirred by the soft zephyrs of 
 heaven, so your inspired words move my heart 
 until it sighs more solenmly than the harp of 
 Erin, and then sings as sweetly as the harp of 
 Judah's royal bard." • 
 
 On the utterance of this poetic and religious 
 sentiment it seemed as if a Divine joy rested on 
 every one, and we almost involuntarily broke 
 forth in singing our grand doxology : — 
 
 •* I'mise God, from whom .all blessings How ; 
 Praise him, all creatures here below; 
 Praise him above, ye heavenly host ; 
 Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." 
 
 When the singing ceased, I said : — 
 " In advancing toward the Divine or truly 
 Christian life, 1 went more slowly than most of 
 you seem to have done. I clung to old things 
 with an almost dogged pertinacity, while my 
 great caution suffered me to accept nothing new 
 without the severest tests. When one doctrine 
 was fairly wrenched from me by the force of 
 truth, another would come up for examination. 
 Prayers before images and saints having been 
 disposed of, the doctrine of Purgatory presented 
 itself for analysis. Catholic authorities give 
 this definition of the doctrine : * A middle state 
 of souls who depart this life in Uod's grace, yet 
 
 n 
 
240 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 ;!'?« 
 
 '"I 
 
 not without some lesser stains of guilt or 
 punishment, which retard them from entering 
 heaven.' Then it is claimed, that * such as de- 
 part this life before they have repented of 
 these venial frailties and imperfections, cannot 
 be supposed to be condemned to the eternal tor- 
 ments of hell, nor can they go straight to 
 heaven in this state, because the Scripture as- 
 sures us, ' There shall not enter into it any- 
 thing defiled.' * Then an attempt is made at 
 proof from Scripture, tradition, and reason. So 
 I went to work examining the doctrine by this 
 triple light. To my astonishment, I found that 
 the Bible makes no such distinction as this doc- 
 trine implies between what are called mortal 
 and venial sins. ' Sin,' says the Word, ' is the 
 transgression of the law,' and * he who offends 
 in one point is guilty of all ; ' that is, every sin 
 is a violation of God's law, and merits the 
 punishment which the law, as a whole, inflicts. 
 Again, the Scriptures recognize but two general 
 classes of men, namely, saints and sinners, 
 wheat and tares, sheep and goats ; those who arc 
 for Christ, and those who are against him. No 
 njiddle class is ever as much as intimated in 
 them. 
 
 " Then the Bible presents but one element for 
 
 ^',i 
 
 Grounds," etc., p. 46. 
 
PURGATORY. 
 
 241 
 
 the purging or purifying of sin and uncleanness 
 — the blood of Jesus Christ. Nowhere could 1 
 find that fire, unless it be used emblematically 
 of the Holy Spirit, can cleanse moral stains ; 
 much less can general sufiering do this. Suffer- 
 ing may mature graces, but cannot produce 
 them. Sufifering people are not necessarily, nor 
 even generally, the purest people. The angel 
 said to John, ' These are they which came out 
 of great tribulation ; ' but he does not attribute 
 their salvation to their sufferings, as the closing 
 words do show : ' and have washed their robes, 
 and made them white in the blood of the 
 Lamb.' None in that vast throng are heard 
 praising the fiames of purgatory or the indul- 
 gences of the Church, but all ascribe glory to 
 the Lamb. Furthermore, the Bible taught me 
 that in this life only can sins be loosed or 
 forgiven. ' Behold, now is the accepted time ; 
 behold, now is the day of salvation.' After 
 death the order is, * He that is filthy, or de- 
 filed, let him Uj filthy still.' These are all 
 fundamental principles which cannot be gain- 
 sayed, and they ail and severally proved to me 
 that the doctrine of purgatory is a figment. 
 This doctrine, like many otliers in Romanism, is 
 plainly traceable to Plato, Virgil, and many 
 other ancient heathen authors, from whom the 
 Church borrowed it. 
 
 1^ 
 
242 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 I 
 
 8^ A '] 
 
 \ i 
 
 M 
 
 "Intimately connected with this doctrine is 
 that of indulgences ; which, as latterly inter- 
 preted by the Church, * is not a leave to commit 
 sin, nor a pardon for sins to come, but only a 
 releasing of the debt of temporal punishment 
 which may remain due on account of our sins, 
 after the sins themselves, as to the guilt and eter- 
 nal punishment, have been already remitted by 
 contrition, confession, and absolution.' Such a 
 doctrine, as applied to individual — not to na- 
 tional — transgression, I, of course, nowhere 
 found in the Bible. And it is so vaguely ex- 
 pressed, even by the best writers of the Church, 
 that but few are able to understand it. But 
 they are made to feel that there is something 
 wrong with them for which they can make 
 atonement for themselves and for others, by 
 repeating more prayers and performing more 
 good works than are required in the Scriptures." 
 
 " This is curious," remarked Luella, " that 
 any person can do even more than God requires, 
 when he commands us to love and serve him 
 with all our heart and mind and strength. I 
 remember reading — yes, it was in our Sunday- 
 school lesson this afternoon — that Jesus said to 
 his discipies, ' When ye shall have done all these 
 things which are commanded you, say. We are 
 unprofitable servants : we have done that which 
 was our duty to do.* " 
 
INDULGENCES. 
 
 243 
 
 " This very passage made me see the folly of 
 this doctrine. However, the Church so arranges 
 her lists of indulgences, as you can see in * Way 
 to Heaven,' page 13, that a devoted Roman 
 Catholic can gain a large number of plenary 
 indu licences each year, to apply to the future 
 advaiit ge of himself or others. A plenary 
 indulgence is one that remits the full punish- 
 ment due to sin, and hence delivers the reci- 
 pient fully and forever from the flames of 
 purgatory. But as the Bible taught me to look 
 to the Lamb of God alone for salvation, I 
 saw that this doctrine was only a degenerate 
 offspring of the vagary of purgatory. So much, 
 then, did I get from the argument from Scrip- 
 ture." 
 
 " The argument from Tradition," added Mon- 
 sieur )renier, " certainly fixes this innovation to 
 I period som oenturies after the time of the 
 apostles, who were wholly innoctmt, as it ap[ tears, 
 of any such teaching. And no wonder the 
 Church resorted to it when one considers the 
 revenues it brings into her coff<Ts. This of 
 itself shows where the doctrine originated. 
 Here is her costly merchandise of souls.* 
 About one ddlar im tke kftst amoimt usually 
 paid for a low mass for the dead. A high 
 
 * Apoc, xviii. 12, 13. 
 
244 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 ;j^i 
 
 mass is much more expensive, and varies with 
 the ability of the payer and the dignity of the 
 officiating clergyman. The profligate Philip IV., 
 King of France, left money for ten thousand 
 masses to be chanted for the repose of his soul." 
 
 " I see now," said Johnnie, " why this is called 
 the ' religion of money.' But it is a new idea 
 that men may buy with money a seat in heaven. 
 That being the order, I don't see much chance for 
 the poor ; and yet nearly all the Roman Catho- 
 lics that I know are poor." 
 
 " Many are made so in this way," I replied. 
 " Poor as w^ah my widowed mother, she paid for 
 masses for the repose of my father's soul long 
 after his death, and continued to pray for the 
 same object at least ten years later. There 
 is scarcely a widow, however poor, that would 
 not go to the expense of at least one mass. 
 Home would .s«^ll their own bedding and bread 
 for this purp«»se, before they would leave their 
 friends unassisted in purgatory. Many people 
 agree by solemn covenant that the survivors 
 shall pay for a stipulated number of masses, and 
 pray ho many years for those who first go down 
 to the purgatorial abode. I believe that such 
 an agreement existed Ijetween my father and 
 mother." 
 
 " Those priests who are at the bottom and the 
 top of all that," exclaimed Aunt Melie, " are per- 
 
HEARTLESSNESS. 
 
 245 
 
 fectly described by the great Teacher when ho 
 said, * Woe unto you ! for ye devour widows' 
 houses, and for a pretence make long prayers.' I 
 can find no language to express my indignation ! 
 They are blind guides, leading the blind into the 
 ditch." 
 
 " But I am not quite through with my work. 
 I must give you my argument from Reason. 
 This taught me that if purgatory had been 
 established by the Lord, he would have regulated 
 its internal affairs himself ; but now the priests 
 dictate the terms upon which men may escape 
 its tortures, and this shows whose establishment 
 it is. Reason further taught me that, if account 
 were made of the vast number of masses for 
 the dead, and the endless grant of indulgences, 
 supposing there were any truth in the doctrine, 
 purgatory must long ago have been completely 
 emptied of its souls, and made a void. And yet 
 the people continue to pray and pay, and the 
 priest continues to take the money and to say 
 the masses ! But the stamp of error, not to say of 
 deception, was put upon the dogma when Reason 
 presented it to me in this light : Suppose that I 
 saw one of my fellow-men drowning or in flames, 
 and, standing near, should cry to him, 'Pay me 
 money and I will help you, but otherwise I will 
 leave you to your fate,' what would you think 
 of me?" 
 

 ! 
 
 iijpiJ 
 
 ill 
 
 246 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " Heartless ! Villainously criminal you surely 
 would be," responded Luella, with an energy 
 almost unnatural to her. 
 
 " What, then, could be my thoughts and feel- 
 ings toward a Church that legislates the vast 
 multitude of her members into purgatorial 
 flames, and leaves them there unless the dead 
 have left her money by bequest, or their friends 
 rally to their aid with open purse ?" 
 
 " And yet this is the Church," added the Pro- 
 fessor, " that says to the world, * I am the only 
 true Church of God ; apostolical in succession, 
 infallible in doctrine, holy in practice ! ' " 
 
 " If there be truth in her teaching and 
 power in her prayers," said Luella, " why don't 
 she try her skill first upon her living subjects, 
 and then, whether she succeeds or fails, if 
 she thinks best to pray for the dead, do so 
 every day without pay ? " 
 
 "She does condescend," I replied, "to say 
 masses for the dead gratuitously one day in 
 the year — on All-Souls' Day, the second of 
 November." 
 
 " Thanks ! thanks ! " cried several voices, 
 and Aunt Melie continued by saying : " This 
 is quite relieving. Crumbs are better than no 
 bread at all. There is some hope of a Church 
 that consents to pray for her needy children 
 one day in the year without special pay ! " 
 
CUT LOOSE. 
 
 247 
 
 "Your sarcasm does not half express the 
 feelings that were in my heart when I saw this 
 subject in its true light. At this point of my 
 investigation I was completely cut loose from 
 Komanism ; for every faculty of my soul re- 
 jected these abhorrent teachings, and I could 
 not conscientiously affiliate with those who 
 taught or believed them." 
 
 With the close of this discussion the timo had 
 come to disperse. 
 
 c^.<^i^::iK.:3 
 
 ' I 
 
I'i 
 
 
 XV. 
 
 Danger and Rescue — Romanism and Infidelity — 
 Seeking the True Fold — Weeping, Reading, 
 Praying — "Wonderful Night — To be " Born 
 Again" — Drf^am in Verse. 
 
 Marvel not that I said unto tliee, Ye must be bom again.— Tfte Master. 
 
 j^|N meeting again to-day, where we found 
 our entire company except Blind Peter, 
 the Professor, anticipating the chaos in- 
 to which I must have plunged on losing 
 *^ all confidence in the Romish Church, 
 inquired how my mind was affected by the 
 change. 
 
 " Danger," I replied, " attends every change 
 in life, from the cradle to the grave. Even the 
 seasons as they succeed each other generally 
 occasion vast commotion in the elements and 
 fearful storms. This is especially true in men- 
 tal and moral transitions. * Changes and war 
 are against me,' exclaimed the old patriarch Job, 
 and even I was not exempt from similar expe- 
 rience. At first I yielded to a dull despair which 
 
DANGER AND RESCUE. 
 
 240 
 
 tended to blank infidelity ! All the hope of 
 heaven I had ever entertained had been founded 
 upon Romanism. As the errors and follies of 
 the system passed before me, my hope dissolved 
 like frost-work on the window-panes in the sun- 
 beams until all was gone ! In consequence, I 
 found rnyself losing all confidence in men. From 
 childhood my best teachers, including my parents, 
 had deceived me, whether wilfully or ignorantly 
 made but little difference. Whom now could I 
 trust ? Would strangers be more true than 
 friends had been ? Dread distrust and black 
 misanthropy were creeping in upon me. In my 
 haste, like one of old, I said, * All men are liars,' 
 and * none really care for my soul.* Religion 
 began to appear to me an ugly, mocking mum- 
 mery ; a monstrous priestcraft, dwarfing the 
 intellects of men by repressing true education 
 and culture, by proclaiming a false philosophy 
 and corrupt ethics, and by making promises it 
 never could fulfil. It was to me a filthy harpy, 
 which soiled what it did not devour." 
 
 " This was the terrible yet natural rebound 
 from one extreme to the other," added the Pro- 
 fessor. " * The mind of communities,' says an 
 American author, ' touches both extremes before 
 it settles down at the intermediate point of truth.' 
 History shows that the enlightenment of Tvoman 
 Catholic peoples has always had infidelity for its 
 
250 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 
 immediate fiuit. Witness France, with her 
 Volney and Voltaire, and her * Reign of Terror.* 
 Most of the educated classes in all papalized 
 countries to-day are evidently infidel at heart. 
 And yet those who have vibrated so far from 
 the ' central point of bliss,* as our author in- 
 timates, have often rested, at last, at the ' golden 
 mean' where they have found what neither 
 meaningless mummeries on the one hand, nor 
 blind infidelity on the other, could furnish." 
 
 " Indeed, God in his great mercy did not leave 
 me in my blindness and misery to perish. He 
 gave me burdens only .^s I could bear them, and 
 blessings only as I could appropriate and enjoy 
 them. When I began to mutter this dirge-like 
 song of doubt — 
 
 ** * There is no good ; there is no God ; 
 And Faith is a heartless cheat, 
 Who bares the back for the Devil's rod, 
 And scatters thorns for the feet ' — 
 
 I advanced to the very verge of the yawning 
 abyss of skepticism, but was driven back by its 
 horrifying darkness and terror! My religious 
 nature would somehow cling to the belief in a 
 Supreme Being, the First Great Cause, the Father 
 of the race. * Then,' I reasoned, * if there be a 
 God, he must ii. some way have revealed his will 
 to his children, as in the Bible, for instance, and 
 
SEEKING THE TRUE FOLD. 
 
 251 
 
 there must be some organization on earth which, 
 in the main at least, embodies and illustrates 
 this teaching Thus convinced, I was led to 
 attend the services of the difft^rent churches in 
 the village of Keeseville, and by this means to 
 the discovery that the various Protestant de- 
 nominations are essentially one, differing only, 
 perhaps, as the strings of a harp differ from each 
 other, and yet are all needed to give to music its 
 grandest power and harmony. 
 
 " One Sabbath I went to the Methodist 
 Church, and, to my surprise, I found the Baptist 
 preacher in the pulpit, by exchange. This pro- 
 duced a very salutary influence upon my mind. 
 And then the fact that these services supplied 
 the food for which my spirit hungered was an- 
 other evidence of truth in these Churches, such 
 as abstract reasoning could not well give me. 
 
 " On Sunday evening, November 6, 1853, after 
 attending several services, I returned to my 
 room with more than an ordinary degree of re- 
 ligious thoughtfulness. I sat down to write my 
 journal for the day. Fearing that, in case any 
 one should ever read these lines, he might be at 
 a loss to account for my instability as to the 
 place where I went for public worship, I under- 
 took to give my reasons in the following manner : 
 * When at home, I was brought up in the strictest 
 observance of Romanism. A few years' expe- 
 
2o2 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLED. 
 
 
 
 rience in a Protestant land has wrought a great 
 change in me. I am now convinced that my 
 former faith and practice are fundamentally 
 unscriptural, at least in their spirit and appli- 
 cation to soul-savins: ; and I have come to the 
 conclusion that, ere 1 follow any religious leaders, 
 I must first ascertain whether I am led by the 
 blind, or by those who have eyes to see. This 
 prompts me to make careful investigation, and 
 to wander from church to church, until I find 
 the ' Good Shepherd's ' fold. O ! how I long to 
 be freed from this fearful mist of uncertainty, 
 and to find that rest which my soul has never 
 known ! Such wanderings as these torture me, 
 and here and now I pray for guidance and de- 
 liverance. I know I can do nothing of myself 
 toward coming to God, but may he help and 
 save me. My determination is so strong that, 
 if I find I must renounce my former faith for 
 another, though it bring upon me censure from 
 all my relatives, I shall pledge myself and bind 
 my heart. This, however, is a difficult question 
 to settle. I have a tender mother whom I love. 
 O ! how soon would she be brought with sorrow 
 to the grave if I should wander from the teach- 
 ings she has so laboriously imparted to me. 
 Apprehensive of this, she has already mourned 
 and wept. During my last visit to her she 
 pleaded with me with many earnest words and 
 
jrEf:prs% uka ntxa, pra yixc. Sn:^ 
 
 scalding^toars. (I weep while I reconl it.) How 
 could 1 treat lier so ill ? No! 1 will not. So 
 long as she lives I cannot publicly profess such 
 a change, whatever resolves 1 may carry in my 
 breast.' 
 
 " At this point in my record my tears were 
 blinding me, and falling fast upon the memor- 
 able page. I laid down my pen, not knowing 
 what to do. My heart was overwhelmed with 
 sadness. I was alone ! Soon moved as if by a 
 Divine impulse, I seized my little Bible and the 
 candle, and going to my bedside I knelt, and 
 resolved to read whatever chapter the book 
 should open at. I then read and prayed and 
 wept in succession for some time." 
 
 " Do you remember what passage you hap- 
 pened to find ? " asked Johnnie, whose cheeks 
 were bedewed with tears. 
 
 " I cannot well forget it. The evening inter- 
 view of Nicodemus with Jesus especially at- 
 tracted my attention. The more I read and 
 studied it, the more interested I became. Like 
 Nicodemus, I felt I was holding intercourse 
 with the Master, and like him I was confounded 
 with the spirituality and depth of his teaching. 
 I was made to see and feel that my religion had 
 been a mere shell — a superficial and generally 
 defective form, without power. This was espe- 
 cially true with regard to my prayers, and with 
 
m 
 
 1 
 1 ' 
 
 1} 
 
 M 
 
 M 
 
 li 
 
 / /r 
 
 254 
 
 SPIRITUAL STIWaaLES. 
 
 most of the religious services I had performed 
 in church. For these were in Latin, so that 
 they were necessarily repeated much as a parrot 
 mifjht do it. The same was true with reij^ard to 
 my previous views of the Lord's Supper. I had 
 been taught that I must eat the body of my 
 Lord, in the same manner in which ordinary 
 bread is eaten." 
 
 " Why, father," remarked Luella, " wouldn't 
 that be worse cannibalism than savages are guilty 
 of ? They eat the flesh of their fellows, but we 
 never read of their eating the flesh of their 
 gods ! " 
 
 " Of this you must judge for yourself. But 
 I begp.n to see the meaning of Christ's words 
 when he said, ' Your fathers did eat manna,' as 
 other food is eaten, ' in the wilderness and are 
 dead.' Then, speaking of himself, he ^aid, 
 * This is that bread which came down from 
 heaven : not as ycur fathers did eat manna,' 
 — that is, not in the same way of eating, with 
 the gross organs of the body, — * not as your 
 fathers did eat manna hnCi are dead : he that 
 eateth of this bread shall live forever.' This 
 bread, then, I saw was spiritual bread, and munt 
 be partaken of spiritually and not physically. 
 For Paul says, * There is a natural body, and 
 there is a spiritual body.' It is the spiritual 
 body of Christ which we are to eat by faith. 
 
WONDERFUL NIGHT. 
 
 255 
 
 And my conclusion was confirmed by that say- 
 ing of Jesus : ' The words .hat I speak unto 
 you, they are spirit and they are life.' I further 
 discovered that * eating his flesh and drinking 
 his blood' was synonymous with ' believing on 
 him,' for to both he attaches the same result. 
 Thus, *hc that believeth on me hath everlasting 
 life,' and * whoso eateth my flesh and drinketh 
 my blood hpth eternal life.' The Revelator re- 
 presents Christ as saying, 'Behold I stand at 
 the door and knock : if any man hear my voice, 
 and open the door, I will come in to him, and 
 will sup with him, and he with me.' Paul ex- 
 plains this by saying, ' That Christ may dwell in 
 your hearts by faith.' Again : * Christ liveth 
 in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh 
 I live by the faith of the Son of God, who 
 loved me and gave himself for me.' I saw, too, 
 that this saving faith is the most simple, and 
 yet the most mighty, thing known upon earth. 
 For Christ said to Nicodemus, * And as Moses 
 lifted up the serpent in the wilderness,' so that 
 the dying Hebrews, simply looking upon it, 
 might be healed — an historic event which Nico- 
 demus well understood — * even so must the 
 Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever be- 
 lieveth in him,' or looketh unto him, though 
 from the uttermost parts of the earth, * should 
 not perish, but have eternal life.' 
 
256 
 
 SPWTl/AL STRVGGLKS. 
 
 '* But it was in regard to this subject of being 
 ' born again,' or ' from above,' that my super- 
 ficiality was especially noticeable. I had al- 
 ways been taught that the baptism of water had 
 made me a Christian — that is, that I was born 
 again, or regenerated, at the time and in virtue 
 of my baptism. This, I saw, was giving to the 
 term water*, which is used but once in this won- 
 derful dialogue, altogether too much prominence. 
 I now realized that it was used as a mere 
 symbol of the cleansing and refreshing influences 
 of the Spirit upon the truly born again ; just 
 as fire in John the Baptist's prophecy, 'He 
 shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with 
 fire,' is evidently not to be interpreted literally, 
 but as presenting the vivifying and enlightening 
 power of the Spirit upon those whom Christ 
 saves. I was made to feel that this re-creation 
 was the special work of the Holy Ghost, as 
 mysterious as the conception of Christ had 
 been, which no man could explain any more 
 than Nicodemus could tell whence came, or 
 whither went, the winds. ' For so is every one 
 that is born of the Spirit.' This change, I saw, 
 is as necessary as it is wonderful. This is evi- 
 dent from the abrupt manner of Christ's question 
 to Nicodemus, as well as by the matter of it. As 
 there can be no physical life without a physi- 
 cal birth, so I saw that there could be no 
 
 it:^:: 
 
,f 
 
 TO BE " BORN AGAIN." 
 
 257 
 
 
 spiritual life without a spiritual birth. • That 
 which is tlesh is flesh, and that which is spirit 
 is spirit ; ' each created and subsisting by agen- 
 cies and laws peculiarly its own. But the 
 crowning interest in my study of the passage 
 was reached when I found that this radical 
 change was to be divinely attested ; that it 
 might be as clearly known and felt as Nicode- 
 mus felt the passing breeze, the Holy Ghost 
 bearing witness with our spirit that, though 
 once enemies of God and children of wrath, 
 now we are children of God, ' born by a new 
 celestial birth,' and * heirs of immortality.' If I 
 would enjoy this inestimable blessing, I saw that 
 I uuist not be ashamed of Christ, but must 
 come out of darkness into the light, and look to 
 him alone for the recreating power. Several 
 hours of the night passed away in these 
 solemn meditations ; and I finally retired, but 
 more to think and weep and pray than to 
 sleep. From that time to this I have not 
 ceased to read and study the Bible on my 
 knees, while looking to God with the prayer 
 of the psalmist, * Open thou mine eyes, that I 
 may behold wondrous things out of thy law.' 
 
 " This nightly interview with Jesus, and 
 almost vision of divine things, gave a pleasing 
 check to my skeptical tendencies. The Sabbath 
 
 ■I 
 
 '. II 
 
258 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 mi 
 
 
 ::Vl 
 
 n 
 
 .. '1' '■; 
 
 i ;' 
 
 I 
 
 id 
 
 t 
 
 r ■ 
 
 following, 1 made this entry in my journal : 
 * Were it possible for me to give an adequate 
 idea of my present state of mind, volumes 
 might be filled. But time will not permit me 
 to say more than this : I will seek salvation 
 though a thousand worlds oppose !' This resolu- 
 tion greatly stimulated me, and seemed to sweep 
 away every barrier that obstructed ny way. 
 
 " On the twenty-first of Novembt I began to 
 teach school where I had taught \e previous 
 winter, near the village of Clintonville. There, 
 in the personal piety and infiuence of one of 
 the citizens of the district, Mr. James Mace, 
 whose religion was not a mere profession, nor a 
 routine of duties mechanically performe< iut 
 the golden thread that made the warp and woof 
 of his everyday life, I found the next great help 
 to rescue me from unbelief, and to guide me to 
 the Saviour. I am sure that a holy life is 
 one of God's brightest beacon lights in this 
 lower world, mighty to confound infidelity, and 
 to establish the kingdom of the Redeemer. This 
 man's conversation and manners at home and 
 abroad — for 1 was much in his company — not 
 only instructed and delighted me, but led me 
 to the conclusion that he was in possession of 
 a precious something to which I was a stranger. 
 O, how I longed to know the secret of his joys ! 
 
!»t 
 
 ADVANCING 
 
 259 
 
 "Throuofh his means I was invited to take a 
 class in the Sr«)M? ay-school at Clinton ville. 
 After some hesitation and study — for I felt 
 incompetent to the task, having never belonged 
 to such an institution even as a scholar — I con- 
 sented to do so. This brought me nearer the 
 warm heart of the Church, and made the 
 more careful study of the Bible, by means of 
 maps and commentaries, a necessity. Thus my 
 m> tal and moral faculties were drawn out and 
 developed side by side, and in about equal pro- 
 portion. With the closing days of the year a 
 series of extra meetings began in the chui -, 
 under the pastoral labours of the Rev. Benjamin 
 Pomeroy. For several days, though an inte- 
 rested attendant upon the services, I took no 
 active part. But I was strangely attracted to 
 the meetings. ' No wonder,' I wrote in my 
 journal, ' the lamb loves the grassy mead where 
 it feeds, and the sparkling fountain where it 
 may ^lily quench its thirst.* My spiritual 
 nature was being disencumbered of superstition, 
 and my eyes enlightened to see Iho path of duty. 
 One evening, after returning trom the church, 
 I wrote the following stanzas : — 
 
 " "Tia swfet^t to hold converse with Him 
 Who hoklfl lis in His power ; 
 'Tis sweet lo yield our souls to Him 
 
 17^ 
 
 In night's aerenest hour. 
 
200 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 " ' 'Tia then His spirit draweth nigh, 
 And folds us to His breast ; 
 He wipes the tears from sorrow's eye. 
 And gives the spirit rest.' 
 
 My heart was in a constant spirit of prayer, de- 
 siring to be led by the wisdom of God alone. I 
 was not yet converted, or 'born again,' and yet 
 it seemed as if but one step more would bring 
 me to the desired i»oal. One night I had a 
 strange dream, which quite fully explained 
 my condition. The ne :t day I tried to express 
 it in poetry ; and though my eftbrt may lack 
 many of the elements of polished verse, you will, 
 I hope, excuse the style, and treasure up its 
 substance while I read it from my journal." I 
 then took my third volume, from which 1 read 
 as follows : — 
 
 '• ' I dreamed that from this world t tlew, 
 Through airy tides and sky of blue ; 
 That angels lent me wings of light 
 To bear me onward in my Hight. 
 
 " ' The more 1 rose above the i-arth, 
 The more my spirit neared its birth ; 
 For anj,'els told me of a love 
 That only reigns si!j»reme above. 
 
 '• ' Up, up we rose through deep expanse, 
 Till worlds of light uround di<l glance, 
 And all the sky began to bla/.e, 
 J?'il,].ing my soul with die^d jJi«.azc. 
 
DUEAMlNd. 
 
 " ' This blaze was not from scorching fire, 
 Nor of tlie Father's kindh'd ire — 
 But 'twas of Love's own purest gk)W, 
 Sucli love as ne'er is found helow. 
 
 " ' Faint grew my heart — dazzled my sight- 
 My spirit trembled — gone its might — 
 Yet in despair I raised a cry, 
 Whose eclio shook the very sky ; 
 
 " * O, God, I ne'er can see thy face. 
 Unless my lisart be purged by grace ! 
 And now to earth I fall —I fall-- 
 O ! send thy angels to my call. 
 
 261 
 
 U i 
 
 With startled pace quick Hew my guide, 
 
 Who instantly stood by my side. 
 And aided my return to earth, 
 
 AVhere my soul must, in time, iiave birth. 
 
 . ♦ • ♦ *. 
 
 "' All ye wiiu C'iiristian faitli pretend, 
 Leave all things tdse — to this attend [ 
 O ! seek the kingdom, first, of heaven — 
 The grace througii faith in Christ now given, 
 
 " * For if your tliglit too soon should come, 
 You cannot reach that blessed liome, 
 For God will not have aught to do 
 With hearts not good, nor pure, nor true.'" 
 
 With the recitation of this simple yet impres- 
 sive dream and its moral, our interview closed. 
 
 ; 
 
 ii(' 
 
%l 
 
 it; 
 
 m I ' 
 
 m 
 
 XVI 
 
 Rebtino at Last — Nora and Her I rother — Theo- 
 dore — The Altar — Coute guE Cocte — Saving 
 Faith — " Joy Unspeakahle " — Finale. 
 
 But what things were gahi to me, those I counted Iohh (or I'hrist. Yea, 
 doubtlcHs, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the kuow- 
 ledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.— Paul, 
 
 |HE week hiul been full of trials to our 
 faith and patience, espeeially Nora's. 
 ,i5' Hut like the oak in storms, these \ irtues 
 had taken dt^eper root. Several at- 
 tempts, niost ingeniously planned, had 
 been made to veu\ove her from us, hut in vain 
 Here is a specimen. One day a close carriage 
 was driven to the gate, from which alighted a 
 gentleman of middle age, who proved to be one 
 of Nora's brothers, a sea-captain, whom she 
 nad not seen for many years, and scarcely re- 
 cognized. He was greeted with great cor- 
 diality and friendship by her, and introduced 
 to the family. After considerable chatting on 
 various topics, Nora, whose heart is always 
 glowing with her new-found hope, and full of the 
 
NORA AND HEH BROTHER, 
 
 263 
 
 priceless enjoyment of the pure and undefiled re- 
 ligion of t]ie Bible, told her brother, in a child- 
 like and touching manner, the story of her conver- 
 sion to Jesus, and of her membership in a Pro- 
 testant (liini'h. He was evidently moved by t]\o 
 fervent, straightforward nairivtivi>, but atl'ectcd 
 never to have heard of it bofore. Then he 
 sugj^jostod that, as he was very anxious to 
 hear inoie of these interesting particulars, if 
 she would get ready and go with him to a 
 neighbouring city, whither his business called 
 him, she could relate her beautiful experience 
 more fully during the few hours of their 
 ride; otherwise he would not be able to 
 visit mvich longer, for he must soon be going. 
 Plausible as all this appeare<l, Nora was not in- 
 clined to accept the invitation w^ithout probing 
 the matter a little more deeply. Had it been 
 the first attempt, and had no threats of ab- 
 duction ever been made, it undoubtedly/ would 
 have succeeded. But birds are seldom caught 
 the second time in the same snare, though its 
 appearance be ever so much changed or dis- 
 guised. Seeing that his proposition was not 
 acceptable, he grew a little restless, and finally 
 said he must go, but that he had reserved the 
 best news for the last. He then told Nora 
 that Providence had given him favouring 
 breezes ; that during the Franco-Prussian war 
 
 ii 
 
264 
 
 SPIKITUA L STRf/aaiES. 
 
 he had acquired a princely fortune while navi- 
 gating the waters of the contendini^ parties ; 
 that he had just purchased a palatial residence 
 in New York for their father, whose declining 
 years should be relieved of the shaine and 
 want resulting from former misfortunes, and 
 that now hv. was ready to settle a munificent 
 annuity up(m his brothers and sisters who 
 were willing to spend the remainder of their 
 lives together in the metropolis. To corro- 
 borate his statement, he exhibited deeds of 
 the property recently purchased ; and his 
 pocket-book revealed that he was not a stranger 
 to gold and its equivalents in large amounts. 
 
 Nora looked on him for a few moments in 
 mute astonishment. Then straiijfhtenincf her- 
 self up into a majestic attitude, and gazing 
 upon him with her deep blue eyes, which, es- 
 pecially when she was greatly moved, would 
 remind one of the azure sky when the clouds 
 have just been reft, she said : — 
 
 " Brother " — and there was such pathos in 
 her tone that it seemed to pierce his heart — 
 " you compel me to look upon your gold as 
 a bribe to draw me away from Jesus, and to 
 bring me back to the yoke and heavy burden of 
 former years — a burden which neither our 
 fathers nor we were able to endure. But, my 
 dear brother," and tears gushed from her eyes 
 
NORA AND HER BROTHER. 
 
 265 
 
 and dripped down her long lashes as she re- 
 peated the tender word, " I have found purer 
 gold than you possess — it is ' the gold tried in 
 the fire,' and I am heir of a finer mansion than 
 you have purchased, even a mansion in heaven, 
 while the blessings I receive are vastly better 
 than annuities, for every moment they perfectly 
 satisfy my wants and longings, filling my heart 
 with a joy which no language can express. 
 And all this comes from my being the willing 
 bride of Him to whom are all things, and who 
 is to me a Friend that sticketh closer than a 
 brother. I trust that you will see that my 
 course is the result of deep conviction, and also 
 of an inward experience which daily grows 
 more bright and satisfactory. Henceforth my 
 «ong shall be — 
 
 , " Mesus, I my cross have taken, 
 
 All to leave ^tiid follow thee ; 
 Naked, poor, despised, forsaken. 
 
 Thou, from hence, my all shalt be. 
 Perish every fond ambition — 
 
 All I've sought, or hoped, or known : 
 Yet how rich is my condition — 
 God and heaven are still my own ! ' " 
 
 This unexpected gush of eloquence, and 
 touching exhibition of pure devotion to Christ, 
 fell upon the captain like a storm upon an un- 
 ballasted vessel, and tears, unbidden, trickled 
 
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 23 WEST MAIN STREET 
 
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 (716) 872-4503 
 

266 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 down hig sun-tanned cheeks. Recovering him- 
 self from the first and almost overpowering 
 shock, he stepped forward, caught Nora in his 
 brawny arms, and embraced her with the 
 tenderness of a child. Human love, purified 
 and intensified by Divine love, had conquered 
 him. While thus caressing her, he told her 
 that, instigated and urged by their parents 
 and the parish priest, he had come to spirit her 
 away, if she could be induced to enter his car- 
 riage. He then humbly begged her to forgive 
 him for having lent himself as the mean tool 
 of what he now saw was wicked, Jesuitical 
 trickery — yes, he even used this word — and 
 again embracing her, he said, " Nora, don't for- 
 get to pray for your oldest, and probably your 
 wickedest brother ! " So saying, he took hia 
 hat, and with a doubtful, hesitating step entered 
 his carriage and moved away. From the piazza 
 Nora watched the receding vehicle until it 
 disappeared in the distant crowds, and then re- 
 tired to her room, doubtless to pray. The next 
 day she received a note from her brother con- 
 taining some very encouraging words, and in- 
 closing a check of a thousand dollars. She said 
 she regarded both the words and the money 
 as blessings directly from the Lord, but that the 
 penitent and hopeful words of her brother gave 
 her the greater joy. 
 
AN IMPORTANT STEP. 
 
 267 
 
 A portion of our next interview was con- 
 sumed in discussing Nora's recent experience. 
 As a kind Providence had ordered, our whole 
 company was present, v>n'th the addition of a 
 young lay-preacher, by the name of Theodore, 
 who was here to assist me in extra meet- 
 ings. Consequently my study was quite aa 
 full of persons as were our hearts of interest. 
 When, at last, the mind of the party turned to 
 my own narrative, I began as follows : — 
 
 " On the evening of Sunday, January 15, 1854, 
 having carefully surveyed the grounds of my 
 individual responsibility to God, and prayerfully 
 resoh^ed to do my duty, I was induced for the first 
 time to join in prayer and exhortation among 
 Protestants. I came forward from the congrega- 
 tion to the altar, or anxious seat, seeking the 
 Lord. This I did without solicitation from any 
 one, and — my mind ho,ving been previously made 
 up — as a hungry man comes to a savoury meal. 
 This was one of the greatest events of my life — 
 an important step which I have never regretted 
 However, I have learned that salvation is not 
 dependent upon any outward performance 
 though the act be the result of an inner convic- 
 tion of duty. But this step identified me as on 
 the side of the Lord — as one not ashamed of 
 him before men." 
 
268 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 t 
 
 i#S, 
 
 " Were you converted that night ? " inquired 
 Johnnie. 
 
 " I am sorry to say I was not. I was not yet 
 sufficiently humbled, and, ! how ignorant of 
 simple, saving faith, and of the way to secure 
 it ! One evening a brother asked me to bear 
 my cross in the meeting, and I was foolish 
 enough to think he meant that I should carry 
 an actual cross of wood or bone ! 
 
 " And there was a prejudice in my heart 
 against all Protestants, and especially against 
 Methodists, which had grown up and strength- 
 ened with my years, besides a subtle pride of 
 opinion, which it was difficult to give up. I 
 found it wf;3 one thing to confess these follies 
 with the lips, and quite another to eradicate 
 them from the heart. When this barrier to my 
 progress was overcome, another presented itself 
 in my way. For now the question arose, as if 
 proposed by the Master, whether I was willing 
 to endure for his sake the persecution which I 
 knew would come upon me. I was fully aware 
 of the feeling of contempt which my old Catholic 
 friends would entertain toward me. My former 
 experience, hard master that it was, told me all 
 about it. Like the Apostle Paul, I expected 
 their hatred and scoffs, their abuse, and perhaps 
 physical violence. How ' the fear of man which 
 bringeth a snare ' bound me ! For some time I 
 
GOUTE QUE COUTE. 
 
 269 
 
 struggled like a captive with his chain. And 
 yet, who has not felt this galling fetter ? To 
 secure by industry and good behaviour an un- 
 sullied reputation among my fellows had been 
 something more than a dream of my life. Now 
 to have my name cast out as evil — to be regarded 
 as a turncoat, an apostate, a traitor, a vagabond 
 — to be the butt of ridicule, and the object of 
 reliefious anathemas from those whose friend- 
 ship I had so fully enjoyed (O ! who can bear 
 the scorn of friends ! ) — all this was terribly 
 trying to my unrenewed nature. But as T was 
 thus counting the cost, I was enabled to submit 
 by recalling the words of Jesus : ' If any man 
 will come after me, let him deny himself, and 
 take up his cross daily, and follow me.' And 
 like my Saviour, ' who made himself of no 
 reputation, and took upon him the form of a 
 servant,' that he might bear the sins and re- 
 proaches of us all, I saw that I must be willing 
 to endure the offence of the cross, and be as the 
 filth and oiiscouring of the world, for the Lord's 
 sake." 
 
 " How long," questioned Monsieur Grenier, 
 " did it take you to reach this conclusion ? " 
 
 " As nearly as I can remember, it was several 
 days. Every step I took in advance was closely 
 contested. When one mountain peak was reach- 
 ed, I saw before me a still higher one to be scaled. 
 
270 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 It was like Alps on Alps piled up to heaven. 
 Now came the question of separation from all 
 my former friends, my brothers and sisters, and 
 my dear mother ! This seemed more than I 
 could bear." 
 
 " O ! " exclaimed Luella, " how dillerent was 
 your lot from mine ; for when I came to Jesus, I 
 came also to my friends who were already Chris- 
 tians. And yet in my heart I had to give up 
 all ; but God gave all back to me — minus my 
 sins — with love, light, and heaven besides." 
 
 " I was soon led to see," I continued, " that if 
 a man love father, mother, etc., more than Christ, 
 he is not worthy of him, and that hence I roust 
 be willing to sever the dearest earthly ties, and 
 welcome, if need be, the estate of him whose 
 enemies are they of his own household. But 
 my spirit struggled most and longest when I 
 contemplated the effect of my course upon my 
 mother, who would consider this a burning dis- 
 grace to the family name, and a stigma upon 
 the Church of my fathers. In her view it was 
 the greatest crime which her son could possibly 
 commit! Her grief would be greater than 
 could be caused by any calamity that might 
 befall me, even death at the hands of an assassin, 
 or on the gallows for capital crime ; for to her I 
 was to be as one hopelessly ruined for time and 
 eternity ! For weeks I hesitated at this point. 
 
SELF'S A CHIFICE. 
 
 271 
 
 unwilling to tender so bitter a cup to her lips. 
 But at length the sorrows of Christ for me, 
 rather than those of my friends, conquered me, 
 and I yielded to the voice of God. Like 
 Bunyan's Pilgrim, I put, as it were, my fingers 
 in my ears that the clamours of the world might 
 cease to affect me, and ran on, crying ' Life \ 
 life ! eternal life ! ' " 
 
 " And was not this all the sacrifice God 
 required at your hands ? " asked Johnnie. 
 
 " Not exactly. There still remained the con- 
 secration of myself. Self, after all, is the 
 dearest idol we worship — the greatest enemy to 
 be overcome. Alexander the Great is said to 
 have conquered the world, and to have wept 
 that he could extend his conquests no farther ; 
 but self conquered and ruined him. How truly 
 wise is the proverb, that ' He that ruleth his 
 spirit is better than he that taketh a city.' Like 
 the Indian who is represented as having given 
 up for God first his blanket, then his gun, after- 
 ward his dog, and last of all himself, so I had 
 sacrificed all things, except my will, to the 
 control of Jesus. At length I was enabled to 
 make an unconditional and complete surrender 
 to him as my King, and to count all things, 
 including my poor self, ' but loss for the excel- 
 lency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my 
 Lord.' On the evening of March 19, 1854 — 
 
272 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 ll« 
 
 memorable epoch in my history ! — after two 
 long months of fearful spiritual struggles, while 
 pleading vocally in prayer-meeting for the 
 Divine blessing, I was enabled to reach the 
 sublime height of the poet when he sings — 
 
 " ' Hut droj).s of grief can ne'er repay 
 The (leltt of love I ow(^ : 
 Here, Lord, 1 give niyself away, — 
 'Tis all that 1 can do. ' 
 
 " Then as I waited, by saving faith in the 
 promise of my Redeemer, the pure light of God 
 fell from the opening heaven above me, and in 
 my spirit I heard the sweet voice of Jesus say, 
 * Peace, be still.' The storm ceased, and there 
 was a great calm ! ' Halleluia to Gcd and to 
 the Lamb ! ' was the response of my ransomed 
 soul, and the song has grown sweeter and 
 sweeter until this day. I am sure it will be 
 more glorious still in heaven ! I then praised 
 the Lord aloud, and called on every one present 
 to praise him. The language of the psalmist 
 was mine : ' Let every thing that hath breath 
 praise the Lord.' What I received was infinitely 
 above what I had asked or thought, and I 
 exulted in conscious and free salvation. I 
 then knew for myself, and not for another, that 
 Jesus' blood had washed away my sins. And, 
 O ! with what tender yearnings did my heart 
 
CONCLUSION. 
 
 27:J 
 
 turn toward my dear mother and all my friends, 
 that they too might share with me these hal- 
 lowed joys — these richest gifts of heaven." 
 
 " O ! pray tell us," anxiously inquired Nora, 
 " how your mother received the news of your 
 conversion, and what ettect it had upon her and 
 your friends." 
 
 " But, Nora, the story is nearly as long as it 
 is thrilling. I have already related much more 
 than I contemplated when, on that beautiful 
 Sabbath, Luella asked me the question which 
 has proved to be the source of so many of our 
 joys. But as tne Sabbaths will be too much 
 occupied with public meetings to the end of this 
 Conference year to permit us to meet of an after- 
 noon, as we have been wont to do, should I ever 
 give you the information you desire, and which 
 I am very willing to impart, it must be at some 
 future time. For the present, as a test for the 
 blessings we have received from above, and as 
 the means of their growth and enlargement, let 
 us go forth to live and work for Jesus." 
 
 As I uttered these words the Professor arose, 
 and, in a tender mood which drew tears from all 
 eyes, proceeded to pronounce a brief valedictory, 
 or farewell speech, which he had evidently pre- 
 pared with much care for the occasion, after 
 which he presented to each one of us an appro- 
 priate souvenir, as a memorial of our profitable 
 
274 
 
 SPIRITUAL STRUGGLES. 
 
 gatherings here. Then turning unexpectedly to 
 Monsieur Grenier and Nora, he gave them each 
 a beautiful copy of the Holy Bible, accompany- 
 ing the gifts with eloquent remarks, which 
 greatly increased our reverence, and deepened 
 our love for the Divine word. To this Monsieur 
 Grenier attempted to respond ; but entangled 
 somewhat in bad English, as he generally is 
 when embarrassed, and choking with emotions 
 of gratitude, he made short but cordial work of 
 it, and our interview terminated with his 
 beautifully pronounced and not easily forgotten 
 " Au revoir." 
 
 Note. — Should the patrona<i;e given to this Canadian 
 edition prove as good as that given to tlie American 
 editions, Mr. Beaudry proposes soon to furnish for 
 publication a sequel, containing an account of the con- 
 version of his mother and relatives ; also the thrilling 
 facts connected with his present Mission work in Montreal. 
 
 TORONTO : 
 PRINTKD AT THB GUARDIAN OFFICE, 78 & 80 KING ST, *A8T 
 
edly to 
 m each 
 apany- 
 which 
 epened 
 onsieur 
 iangled 
 •ally is 
 notions 
 i^ork of 
 bh his 
 rgotten 
 
 Canadian 
 Lmerican 
 nish for 
 the con- 
 thrilling 
 Montreal. 
 
 n\ KAfiT