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1
THE
ODD MAN
AND
HIS ODDITIES
PV
REV. W. H. POOLE, LL. D.
\
AUTHOn OK
'* KII'E OUAl'KS; OR THK PUUITS OK THE gPIRIT."
"TlIK NATURE, CAUSES AND CURES OK ANfJER."
"THE GIKT OK THE HOI.Y GHOST AND HOW OBTAINED.'
'■ HISTORY THE TRUK KEY TO PROIMIECY."
"NINE LECTUES ON ANOLO-ISRAEIi," AND
"THE SECOND COMING OK CHKIST."
"O that among us there might be
A duty on hypocrisy!
A tiix (m humbugs; an «^xciso
On sokmn plausibilities;
A stamp cm everything that <!ante«l !
No millions more, if these were granted,
llenceforwanl would be raised or wanttil."
DETROIT :
VRK88 OK DETROIT I'UULIBHING CO.
1691.
^ 41
'\ •
Co|)yri«lite(» April 24tli. 18',)1,
KY UKV. W. I'Uni.K, 1. 1.. 1).
11 5Z
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
C'lIAlTKK I.
In attempting" to interest my readers on a tlieme
"like mine, I eoni'ess to some embarrassment owinu: to
tiie length, hreadtli, and dei)tli of the subjeet, when
compared to the time and spa(H' at my disposal. One
of Knglamrs great preachers said, that the first
element in a great [>rea('her was condensation, the
second element was condensation, and the third
was condensation. In the act ol" condensation a
writer, or speaker oi'ten exposes himself to the charge
of oidy half illustrating his subject: Well, be it so,
in this age of jnish and progress most of our readers
will |)ardon brevity.
In addressijig you on ]Man, I do not propose to
treat of him in the various and diversitied national-
ities, races and conditions ol' Ixung which are suggestive
of the theory of Darwin and Huxley, in their progress-
ive developments of mind and of muscle from the
luollusk to the ape, and from the monkey to educated
and cultured man. Nor do I propose to dwell on his
Htature, si/.e, weight, color, or on his tastes, affinities,
jtassions, habits, or dispositions. Nor on his vast and
varied intellectual endowments, powers, capacities and
achievements. Nor on his relation as father, mother,
liusband, brother, or bachelor. I think of publishing
an essay on l>achelorfl in general, and old bachelors in
THK ODD >[A.\ AND HIS ODDITIKS.
]tar*icul:ir. 'l'l»oy are getting to be a very important
class in ooniniuuity and far too numerous. If tliey
would pay more attention to the ladies, they would
be much more frequently the subjeet of conversation
amon^ aw aunts, mothers, and maidi'iis.
I ]>r(>pose, especially to consider man's tempera-
ment, or constitution in some of its many varieties and
]>eculiarities. 'Chese varieties an<l ])e(*uliariti('s, with
the dilferences of tem|)eranu'iil. and of constitution,
mentally, an<l physically, go to form the oddities and
eccentricities of human kind. 'I'he pecidiar tempera-
ments and dispositions of men, were, by tlu^ ancients
supposed to depend largely u[)on the mixture of three
fluids, or humors of the body, viz. Tlie blood, tiie
lymph, and the bile.
It is an oI<l saying that it takes all sorts of people
to make a world, this papei' may fend to prove the
truth of this time honored proverb, and to show that
such odd 8pec^im(!ns of our race is an ari'angement of
an all-wise and benelicient providcix-e.
Xo one, at all conversant, with men oi- things will
fail to see, that community is made uj) of t'vi'ry (!on-
(ieivable sort, kind and caste, of every possible shade,
tint an<l compK'xion, of i^tuy ti'm|)ei', dis|>osition,
taste and aptitude, of every grade and condition in
life, and that, with all this variety there is, hen; in
Amc^'ica a pla(H' for everyone, and a duty for eatdi
that he may )»erform with pleasure and profit to him-
s(df, and also to the advantage of all th(»se around
him.
It is of the greatest importance to community
that every man in society should lind his own ap-
propriate place ; and that, having his place whether
rHK ()l)l> NfAX AM) ins OUKII'IKS.
})resi(leiit, or premier, jrovenior, or piii-maker, lie
should iaithrully and lionorably diseharoe his duty
ihere, aud that he shouhl leel, that, with a sense of
<luty faithfully dischari^ed, theiv is always a meas-
ure of deliii^ht.
'The hal)it of reali//mi»" the importance of duty, under
all cir(Mimstanees, is one that may he accpiired in
early hoyhood, and even in boyhood, ic is always
sure to meet its reward. This point, may lie illus-
trated by the followinsjj iiicidiMit which took place
on a!i Kiiixlisji farm. In haymakiny- time, the farmer
found it necessary to assit>;n to his little boy, a lad of
twelve summers, the otHce ol" L?ate keeper, lie was
to open the i^ate as the load of hay approached the
i>ate, cl()sin<r it when the team had passed throui>;h.
The lad well underst(jo<l the duties of his oHice, and
between times, he amused himself reading' of wars
and victories. Suddenly, lie heard an unexpe(tted
call, so loud and commanding- as to startle him.
" Hello ! my lad, open the gate, o|>en the gate."
The order came from an advaucied huntsman who was
followed by a lai'ge company of fox hunters : among
them was the Duke of Wi'Uington. " Open the gate,
tny Itoy, here (M)mea the lords and ladies I" The lad
promptly responded. "No, sir, mv father told me,
sir, to keep the gate shut.'" " Hut here comes the
Didvc of Wellington, o]>en the gate." "My father told
me, sir, to keep the gate shut, ami I'll kei'p it shut,
you nuiy depend on't." In i\ mom<Mit the Iron Duke
and the whole company were at the gate, anxious to
take a short route and meet the fox and hounds away
beyond. The duke kindly asked, "what is the mat-
ter?" and was promptly informecl "the boy won't
I
TIIK ODn MAX AND IIIS 01>I)1TI ICS.
Open the ufate, sir." There sat tlie bov in conscious
security, in loving obedience doing his duty. " Why
4on't you open the gate, my son ?" said the duke.
*' liecause, sir, my father told me to keep the gate
slnit, and I'm going to <lo it." The duke, as if en-
tirely forLjetful of the fox and the hounds, took from
his pocket a gold sovereign, and handed it to the boy,
saying : " Take this, my boy, as a reward for doing
your duty, and obeying your father." 'I'hen, turning
to lords and la<lies he said, '• we must go round some
other Avay. The boy eyed the ))iece of gold, turning
it over, and over in his hand. At a favorable mo-
ment he was seen bounding over the daisies to liis
mother, saying as he entered his cottage home :
■•' Motliei', mother, see this ; I did to-day what liomi-
parte could not do, I .stopi)ed the Dukecd" Welling-
ton."
One of our poets said, when sjteakingof dividing
the human family into pairs, that
"Each spirit its own twin spirit liiitli.
In joy, or woe to hciU' its pai't.''
It is a fac^t, however, that for some reason or other,
<'ourtship with a great many men has not been a suc-
cess. The unfortunate ones never found " their twin
spirit, their better lialf."
Xext in importance to a man's finding Ins other
.self it Is important that he should Hnd his propei*
sphere of action. That orbit in which he can s dely,
se(!urely and successfully move. No man can aflPord
to trifle with himself or with the claims which society
has upon him. All the callings and positions of life,
are but links in the same great chain of being, and
flF
.MK\ I)II'1'K1{.
5
"From ii.ilurc's cliMiii, Avhahivcr link vou stiikc,
Tenth, or tcii-tlioiisaiKltli, breaks tlic cliaiii alike."
MEN niFKKK,
and it is well that they <lo, and thoui^li the i>eculiari-
ties of character are easily recognized, they are not
so easily defined, nor so easily classified, so that, to
save words, and time, which is much more vahiable
than words, also to aid your memory, we will find in
nature, and in art something to which we will com-
pare those o(hl specimens of our race. A\'e have very
hiijli ftutlioritv for the use of symbols. Thev do
speak to the eye, and to the mind at the same time.
" Symbols," says Muller, " are evidently coeva'i
with the human race ; they restdt from the union of
the soul with body in man. Nature has implanted
the feelinif for them in the human heart." I>ut svm-
holism is not only the most natural, and most general^
it is also the most practically usefid of ihe sciences,
(xod himself, knowing the nature of the creatures
foi'med by him, has condescended, iji the earlier rev-
elations of himself, to teach by s^'mbols. An<l the
greatest of all teachers taught the multitude by par-
ables ; "and without a ]>arable, or symbol spake lie
not unto them." l<\-iber says, " heiu-e the language
of .symbolism, being so purely a language of ideas, is,
in one respect, more perfect than any ordinary lan-
guage can be ; it possesses the vai'iegated I'legance of
synonyms without any of the obscurity which arises
from the use of ambiguous terms.
I»en Jonson asks : •
'■ Was IK it all the kii(»\vle(lg'(!
(H'the I\uyptians w I'it in inyslie syml)(ils V
6
Till-: ODD MAN AM) HIS ODDITIES,
Speak not tlic S( ri|)1iir<'s ot't in pariiblcs ?
Arc not the choicest fables of the poets
'I'hat were tiie fountains and first sprinys of wisdom.
AV rapped in perplexed alleiiories v"
I tiiid ill all the dopartiiipnts of home life, of
cluircli life, and of national life.
rin; iron :\[an,
Finn, resolute, detennined, stroiiuj 'f purpose,
and hard and iinbendiiiL!; as a piece of iron, whether
right or vvroiii>' in his beliefs, or his opinions, you may
liammer at him as long as you please, you make but
a very slight impression upon him if he only keeps
<!0<)1. Ill all his convictions, in all his pur|)OHes, and
resolves, he is as firm, and as unbending as a piece of
iron.
To secure his co-operation, or to employ his influ-
ence, in matters of church, or of state, vou must warm
Hin III):
an
d wl
len
full
V vvarmei
1, hi
s energies an<
powers of Viody, mind, or estate may be easily bent,
and enlisted in any of the great social, moral, and
religious i-nterprises of the day. Warm him up^ and
lis coiintrv, or iiis <
hun;!
I, never (
alls 1
um in vain.
In all the works of benevolence ai'.d charity you may
fire his [>hilantliroj)y. In all (piestions of national
honor and civil government, you may kiiulle his
patriotism. In the wider fields of religion, of consci-
ence, and in the work of (xod; you may warm his
heart and touch his lips with tlu' sacred tire for con-
secrated altars; and when fully tired with zeal for his
country, his church or his (tod, we have a tine s])eci-
men of a manly man; a man that is strong to do, and
ti
MEN' OF STEKL. 7
willing? to endure, or to dare in that cause that has
won his affections and his sympathies.
This man of iron nature, may, to some peopk',
seem cold, stern, rigid, frigid and unattractive, but
engage his tenacity and firmness on the right side,
and you have a man capable of receiving and retain-
ing the mould and stamp of manhood's higliest impress.
Upon him yon may suspend the interests of a nation,
knowing that no influence from faction, or from party,
from court, cabal, king, or president, can make him
swerve from duty or, betray liis trust. This hardy,
firm, intelligent, industrious, useful class of men can-
not be disj>ensed witli. We might as well undertake
to carry on our mechanical arts, our manufactories, our
steamboats and railway enterprises without iron, as
to do the work of home, of church or of state Avithout
this most useful class of men —
MKN OF STKKI,
come next in order. Those persons possess all tiie
intrinsic excellencies and valuable (pialities of hard-
ness, tenacity, of durability and usefulness of iron;
and many niore, for tiiey are well fitted to serve pur-
poses which the iron-men do not. The steel-men are
more flexible, more elastic, Tliey have the same
tenacity and firmness, only, more refined and tem-
pered; mad6 so by the process of purification. Thej'"
are more pliable, more durable, more relial)le. 'I'hey
are ca})able of a much higher j)oli8h ; they receive a
much sharper edge ; they have keener percei)tions,
and finer sensibilities ; they have nerves not less firm,
resolutions not less determined, ))urposes as unshaken.
II '
IT
8
TIIK ODD >[.VN AND HIS ODDITIES.
' ,\
\^
all combined with properties and capabilities the iron
men liaAe not.
There is a method by which iron may be sa
changed, tem])ered and pnritied as to become steel :
S(> l)y a ))rocess somewhat similar, our iron men may
be made more valuable. This is often accomplished
by self-culture and ]>ersonal improvements; especially
by the renewint;^ energy and ])Ower of truth in the
inner man ; so that, in time, they become refined,
tempered and polished, and in this way, they be(!ome
miu'h more valuable. We have, here too,
OV\l SILVEK MEN,
vci'v useful in tlieir way at times, because they are
capable of l)eing ))ronu>ted and made to occupy posi-
tions in society which renders them useful. Silver is
of little intrinsic value in itself. Itcantiotat all com-
pare in real worth with iron (>'• ^teel. The commer-
cial woi'ld has given it imjjortaiue by agreeing to use
it, as we do as ii matter of convenience, and for ex-
ternal (Mnbellishmcnt ; but it owes its value t( the
gcjieral consent of community, and it may at any
time be dispensed with. So with our silvv-r gentle-
men, they are convenient, and useful, and often orna-
mental ; but not like our iron and steel men, indis-
' ]iensable. The value of the silver imm is always fic-
titious, not rt'al. Like silviu* thev arealwa\'s liable to
a heavy discount, 'i'hcy are never indepe?ident, never
relialtlc. One iron man, is, to coiiimunity, worth a
(incore of those silver s|>i'cimens. Our silver gentlemen
M'ould do well to take the hint, and try and ur.der-
stand their real valiu', and their true relative i)08i-
tion, for they may be, at any moment, vote(l out oT
! !
w
MKN <)1' GOLD.
coiiiiuuiiity ; or the ladies' riguts association inay
lock them uj) some day as worn out specimens of
things that our progressive age has left far behind,
as has been done with our grandmammas' silver can-
dlesticks. Of many of this class of men, we may safely
say, that thuy are a sham, a fraud, or something
Avorse, for they are only silver coated, silver washed,
silver plated gentU men. In some instances they are
alloys, counterfeits, hypocrites, 'rhey are not even
good white metal, they shine on the outside, make
very tliu' pi'omises, often make loud and long pro-
fessions, and by these Iriiiks and stratageins they de-
ceive ma?iy a fair one: who, after a very short ac-
(puiintance find out theii' real character. 'I'he silver
coating rubbed otf, and it was easily seen that they
were of baser nu'tal. Our valuable
.MEN OF CiOlil)
conu> next, pure gold, genuimi metal, sterling coin.
In all the world's great emporiums of trade they com-
uumd position, wealth, honor and influence, and they
kn(»w full well how to use them for the good of all
classes of community. They are an honest, trust-
worthy r;u'c of nuMi, always humble, upright, intelli-
gent, pure minded, ^b'U of noble birth and of royal
blood, for they live anH)ng sovereigns, ami soar
among c:igles. These men ;ire the pure gold of the
earth, though like gold, veiy valuable aiul in great
dennind, yet like gold, they are very scarce. Our
d"ar young ladies should always distinguish between
(Mir gold nu'ii and gold-fringed men, gilt men, me?i of
glitter ami tinsel, very often they are only pinch-beck.
All tliose bron/cfl and starched up specimens ol
.It
w
10
THK ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
fashion are no more gold, than tliat tlie slightest
possible gilding is a lump of gold. Those would-be
gold and silv.'r men are always, in all communities
below par. They are always one hundred and seventy-
five per cent, less valuable than moonshine. The
next on my record are our
MKX OF TIN,
men, who, when well siioured and polished, make ))i"e-
tensions of l)eing relatiMl to the silver family, of those
thin-lijK'd, sharp featured men, physoignomists say,
that they are not very close mouthed, nor very safe
tongued. riiat they are alway- sure to expose your
little failings. They are a little tart, not over bur-
dened with the milk of i»umaii kindness. They are
always ])retentious, not a little contentious. 'I^hey
are not reliable or trusty men either in council or in
wai". In their very nature they are a bendible, ding-
able, rustable, crustable sort of folk, whose lustres is
soon tarnished. ( )ui- men <>f tin are easily and often
tinkered with, and ai'e often tingetl. In my travels I
have seen
MI;N (•!• I, HAD.
A class of pci'soMs that I can liken only to lead,
heavy, dull, dark, their body, brains, arms, and limbs,
mind and heart are made up of the same dull, eroi'ky,
earthy, muddy substance. With them there is no
life, no spriglitlineHs, no animation, no elasticity, no
humor, no sparkling wit. Like lead, they are much
given to inertia. If indeed they have to move a
little, they groan and yawn, and fret and sigh, and
stretch, as il" all the laws ol' their being obligeil them
to remain as thev are.
NICKI.K IM.ATKl) -MKN.
11
tlO
In our ao-e and in our country we have dcvcl-
oi)ed a
NKJKLE I'LATEI)
olass of nuMi, and women too. This is peculiarly an
ao-e of nickle-plating. We see this art in our found-
ri">s, as in our schools and colle.n-es. The useful, the
])ractical, and the substantial, have to give place to
the ornamental, the fanciful and fashionable. NN'e
half educate lars^e numbers of our youth, and send
them out on community at a great expense, with a
smattering of classics, mathematics, ethics and other
tics, covered with sheen and glare ; an abundance of
ornamentation, but oh, so badly fitted forthe practical
<lnties of life in this most ]>ractical age. The glitter,
the radiance is only nickle-i.late, mere tinsel, so thin
tluit you can see through it.
In' congress, and in our slate iegislatiire we have
some gran<l men, true as steel and as tine as gold,
but we have, others of whom little can be said in their
praise. Listen to many of the speeches: the dead
issues of the past, such as slavery, the war <piestion,
pensions, railroads, etc. These topics have done good
service for a (piarter .>f a century in our i)olitical cam-
paigns, and on our national festivals. When they
were live issues they sparkled and gleamed on the
platform at.d in the pulpit. To-dav, they are <mly
buncomb, nickle plate, while the live issues su.-h as
rivil service ref.uMu, ecpial rights for all, capital and
labor, prohibition, punishment of wrong doers, are left
out of hearing and out of sight.
NN'hen we see a cliurch interesting herself in
, ■reeds, stiri)lices, musi.-, millimMy, cushioned pews,
12
THE ODD MAX AND HIS WDDITIKS.
' I
and Sunday toilets, paying court to wealth and fasli-
ion ; in life, frivolous, lieartless, shallow, self-indul-
gent, alas 1 it is only nickle plate.
STONE MEX.
Xearly akin are our men of stone. Of stone we
have a great variety, sand stone, quart/,, limestone,
lelspar, granite, etc., etc., so of this class of meji we
have a great variety. All course in nature rough,
cold hearted, hanl faced, gritty. To them, culture
and retinement are naught. i'hey have no sympathy
at heart, no warmth of feeling, no tenderness of soul.
As I'old as a stone, and as " hard as the nether mill-
stone."
IXDIAN RUI{HEH MEN.
Next come our Indian ruUher men. No firmiu'ss.
no stability, no priiu'iple, all elasticity. A'ou can
twist them into any form or bend tliem into any
slia))c, or put them to almost any ust* you please.
They are so nearly related to old Mr. IMiable, that
they can never b(M'harged with having any opinion
of their own. I'hey can be of any opinion, or of no
• •pinion as suits the timew. In politicks, they can l>c
on any side, or on neither side, or on both siiU's.
They can be Tories, or Whigs, or (Jrils, Reformers,
Kcpublicuns, Democrats, (Jrccid)ackcrs, soft money,
or hard money nu'U, you can always buy them for ;i
little mone\' of anv kind, and buy them 1)ack for a
few pennies more. In rcligioii tluy can be CalviniHts,
or Armenians, close (^mimunionists, or open Conimun-
iotiists, hard shell or soft shell r>a|)tists, High church.
Low (diiu'ch, broad church or no church, 'I'hey can
be <^)uakcrK, Shakers, or Tiinkcrs, I'i'esbylerians,
I
I
.MEN (»K (II.ASS.
13
Methodists, Cougregatioiialists or Mormons, or Roman
(^atholics, or anything or nothing. They can l)e tem-
perance men, cohl or hot water mun, or wliisk}' and
brandy puncii men. They are always two-faced
men. In nothing are tiiey more pliable than in their
consciences. Oh, how elastic I How i)liable I I'oor
conscience. Row it is stretched and shrunk to meet
the occasion. Such men ai'e all things in general
and nothing in particular. An old Hebrew proverb
•^ays of such men : " They can run with the hare and
bark with the hounds."
" A. iiici'ciliil pi'ox idt'iicc torincil lliciii liollou
On purpose tliiit tlicy luiulit (heir pi'iiiciplf swnllow."
'I'hose professional patriots love to sing with
much zenl :
" My coiuitry 'tis ffom llicc
1 \nu<j: to iXi'\ M I'cc,
()\' tliiil 1 siiiii.
I*l;ic(' u»(' where Congress niei'l^,
Where I e;iu lind tlie sweets.
• ( )!• ill some riiiLi'."
In contrast again are our
MEN Ol' (JLASS,
<)|)en, frank, transparent sort ol' men. Their thoughts
lie on the outside, you can read them throtigh and
through. They caimot hide anything ; they can't
keep their own thoughts ; they are too transparent.
They are an easy going, (juiet, good natured folk;
they till many use'ul positions in society without
craft, design or disguise ; they are a little brittle,
easily hurt, very tender in their feelings. Tiiey are
poorly titted to meet the rough and tumble of the
jl_
III II
' I 1 I
u
TIIK ODD MAX AND IHS ODUITIK.S.
11
1
1 !
I t I
world, or to stand the hail storm of adversity. One
<^ood crash of adversity is enoui^h to smash them into
a thonsand pieces, and if once broken, there is no re-
cuperative power to repair them. 'IMiey seem rather
designed for the continue*! sunshine of jtrosperity,
than for the cy<done of opposition. We too have
men of
UllASS,
strange compounds I llrass is acuiious mixture, it is
ni'itlier one tiling nor anotlier, and always some of
both. Those gentlemen claim to be considered as a
finer metal. Most peo[»le of this class usually put
forth their ambitious claims with so much elTrontery
and sell conceit, that their neighbors, with one con-
sent agree, that they have too much brass.
OIK i'KW'ri:i{ Mi:\
conu' next to grei't us. Pewter is compound of lead
and tin. Those nu'U are haU'-andhalf sort of thinufs.
They have no fixed charactiT, sonu'times as dull as
lead, at other times as biting and as rasping as the
rough edge of tin. To i>lease such men is nexl to the
imitossible, and if they could be [ileased for .lu-e it
would only be for a little time; ; for having no lixed
priiu'iples to guide them or to govern them, they
could not be pleased long at a time, either with them-
iselveH, or with anybody cls<'. I know an unfortunate
man of this class, he gets out with himself, and witli
his estimable wife, aiuj out with his |)astor, and often
with the gate post ; indeed, he gets out of temper,
and out all over. In this givat country of ours we
have 1
4
MKROUKIAL MKN.
15
One
m into
no re-
rather
(perity,
liave
IV. it is
onie ot"
t'd as a
illy put
lontoiy
ne coM-
of load
thiiisjfs.
fiiill as
;• as the
cl to the
.nee it
no lived
tn, they
Lh theni-
)rtiinate
md with
nd often
temper,
ours we
MERCURfAL MEN,
<|uick, sliiny, showy, flashy, rather liery, and withai
a little slijjpery. Such persons, like the mercury in
our thermometers, are greatly infiueneed by the sea-
sons, the weather, the atmospheric changes, the mag-
neti(! inftuences, the winds and tides. They are a
kind of living barometer, as useless a specimen of the
race as can well be com-eived of Only for the name
of the thing, a woman would be far better without a
a luisband, than be tied to a man like that. On a
bright, beautiful moonlight night, such men are al-
ways on hand to see the ladies home, or to accompany
a friend ; but when the night is dark and stormy, the
mercury falls and the ladies are left to find their way
home as best they can. All sensible people agree,
that such bipeds ought Id be scarce. In my line of
observation 1 lind
MKN Ol' Cl'l I'V,
so soft, so oily, so impressible, that they are influ-
enced b\' every one and by everything they meet.
To know their opinion or any given hour of the day,
in politics, education or '•eligion, you need otdy ascer-
tain who, or what party had the last interview with
them. Their views of men or things are formed,
changed and shaped by one class of agency as well
as another. Having no opinion of theii' own, tlu'y
can at. any time sulopt the opinions of others, and
most generally their views (M)incide with the last per-
son, ov last party man with whom they convervsed.
The conservative canvasser calls, and woos and wins
iheir promise of support, and he stamps the man with
i
' 1
1
i ,
1 1
(
■ )
1
1
1
m ■
i ■ I
W
n
nl-i
I I I
i !'
1 1
1 1
16
rilK ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
the trade mark of liis party. Tlie next day, or next
week, tlie reformer t^oes through the name })rocess,
and with about the same results. Who the putty
man votes for after all, depends upon the party wlio
can give him the last cigar, or the last glass of drink,
oi- the largest brihe, and a free ride to the polls, '^I'he
man of putty has very large family eonnections,
<'.losely related is a kind of Avish-o- washy, luunby-
pamby, linscv-woolsey, milk and water, sort of a
biped, an 0(hl specimen of a man, very, lie is little
more than half human, a large ])art animal, and some
vegetable, so that it is yet an opeii (piestion, whetlier
the botanist, or the ))hy8iol(»gist should claim liim.
It is greatly to the credit of our American civili-
zation that foppery is cvci-ywhere disappearing.
Kops, by whatt'vei" Tiamc we c;il! them, beaux, macai-
ojiis, sparks, dandies, loungers, oi- anything elsi', find
little favor in this age. To ti-.u-e from age to age
through all its phases of development the history of
those po))injays of fashion is a task for the satirist, or
historian. To study the grotesrjue inspirations (d'
folly as illustrated in tlu' careers of her fantastic
votaries woidd be most amusing. There are but few
men of sense among us who would iu)t say with
Shakesjx'an; in the Merc/inuf, of Venice, "Let not. the
sound of shallow foppery enter uiy sober house,"
The foppery of tlie Kli/abethan age is well and ac-
curately illustrated in the person of Osrick, How
pungently does Ilandet satirize the waterfly and how
amusingly does he mimic his mincing mode of speecli !
In Iliulibras we fiiul mention of a creature known as
' fopdoodle.
((
h
1
ou nave neen roatning, says
JUit-
i
ler,
riTTY mi;n.
17
)r next
rooA'ss,
putty
A' wllO
<lriiik.
T\\
c'tions,
lumiby-
t of a
s littll!
1(1 SOIIH'
vlic'thor
him.
n civili-
leariiig.
, iiiacai-
SL', 1iii«l
to a<;('
story of
tirist, or
tioiis ol"
fantastic
but few
ay with
t not, tlu'
liouse."
and ac-
<. How
and how
s])eocli !
nown as
lavs liut-
" Wlii'ir sturdy l)utch(!rs broke 3'()ur noddk'.
And handled you like a I'opdoodk'."
C'Ovent Garden, seems to have been tlie favorite
rendezvous for fops in the time of Dryden. He says,
" that farce scribblers make use of tlie noble inven-
tion of lausifhter to entertain citizens, country gentle-
men, and Covent (rarden fo))s." Dr. Johnson des-
cribes the sparks of this day SiHlivel;/, showy, splendid
(/ai/rneii,. Tliey were of respectal)le antiquity, hail-
ing probably from the days of the restoration, when
tlie nation expressed in costume, as in all things else,
its wild delight at l)eing emancipated from the grim
bondage of Puritanism. The beau wiiora Johnson
defined as a " man of dress " — a man whose greatest
i'are is to deck his person, Hourished most luxuriantly
in the last century. His, was the sumptuous age of
powder and i)atches. He was especially dainty in
matters of sword-knots, shoe-buckles, and lace rufttes.
He was ablaze with jewelry, took snutf in large quan-
tities with an incomj)arable air, out of a box studded
with diamonds, and twirled a cane with great nicety.
Some one said that such a man dressed- out in full
fashion resembled the cinnamon tree, the bark being
of greater value than the body. The word macaroni
as applied to a fop, is of curious origin. In its pri-
mary signification it means a kind of paste-meat
broiled broth, and dressed with butter, ciieese, and
spice. Webster defines the word to mean " some-
thing droll, or extravagant," again a sort of droll or
fool. j\[r. Addison exi)lains in the Spectator liow the
word came to be used to express a fopdoodle. lie
says "there is a sort of merry drolls whom the com-
iir
•tiiiii 1 11—11 II
ii ' I |ii>
'' I ft"
IM
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
i
' rl
I!"
ii
f If'f
i'
I II.
I ii'i
ill,
mon i)eople of all countries admire, and seem to love
so well that they could eat them, according to the old
proverb ; I mean those circumforaueous wits whom
every country and nation calls by the name of that
dish of meat which it loves best. In Holland they
are termed pickled herrings ; in France, Jean Potages
in Italy, macaroni \ in p]ngland, Jack Puddings,
Our Canadian and American ladies use very expres-
sive terms in speal^ing of this case, they say, "Ae's
soft^ or he is green." To these they have added a new
term, which, to them is very expressive, they say
"Ac's pwicans." In Boston they call \\'m\ stewed cab-
bage. The word dandy is said to be derived from
the French daudin, hence Jack-a-dandy, but some
grammarians are of opinion tiuit the term* is bor-
rowed from a very small coin of Heny VIII. 's time
called .1 dandiprat. Be this as it may. the dandies
had large intluence in those olden times. Lord Byron
confesses to a })re<lilection for them. He says " I
like the dandies, they were always very civil to me."
Mr. Carlyle says, '' Let us consider with some scientific
strictness, what a dandy s[)ecially is. A dandy is a
clothes wearing man " — " a man whose trade, ofHce
and existence consists in the wearing of clothes. Every
faculty of his soul, s])irit, j)urse and person is heroic-
ally consecrated to this one object, — the wearing of
clothes wisely and well; " " so that, as others dress to
live, he lives to dress." The all importance of clothes
has s])rung up in the intellect of the dandy, witnout
effort, like an instinct of genius; he is inspired with
\§
o love
he old
wlioni
>{' that
(1 they
*otages
Mings,
expres-
, " he's
I a new
ley say
7ed cab-
(l from
it some
• ifi bor-
L.'s time
dandies
d l^yion
4ays " I
to me."
scientific
[idy is a
le, office
1. Every
8 heroic-
■arinfi: of
i dress to
»f cl'^thes
, witnout
red with
I
I'lTTY MKN,
It)
doth, a |)oet <tf cloth. A divine idea of cloth is horn
with him. The followinj^ epigram is very pointed.
" A D.indy is a thing that would
Be a young lady if it could,
But as it can't, does all it can
To sliow the world it's not a man."
I*icrc<' Egan is entitled to the credit of having
coined a word which ha;^ obtained universal currency —
the word " swell." A swell is seen to move round, a.«
if made up of buck muslin and starch, swelling into
false consequence like the frog in the fable. The
excjuisite is another modern term <lenoting a bi})ed
made up of bitter and sweet, the oily and o'doriferous,
powdered and j)erfumed, sometimes called " collars "
and '• cufPs."
St. Crispcn, thepatron saint of our shoemakers, in
c(»ut'"rring upon mankind the inestinud)le boom with
which to i)rotcct his understandings never su})posed
that
I, K A Tin; II
would be used as a synd)ol of man, but there are some men
I can compare to nothing else than leather: Such persons
are in their own estinuition highly respectable and in
morals irrepioachable, in their home circle more or less
usid'ul, but in all that relates to high and noble in-
stincts, to retined and delicate perceptions, to the ])urc
and the ])rofound, the i'ree and the fervid, the benev-
olent and the magnanimous, they are exceedingly de-
fective. They are nearly always dry and hard, or soft
and spongy, cold and indifl'erent. Those gents are not
always retictMit even in the conqjany of strangers; nor
t
1;:,
II
'i|
1,
• 'I '
■•I I
:\
20
THi; ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
can ihcv kcop (juiet even in ohincli, like leather, they
are creaky, scjueaky, noisy and fond of heinj;' heard,
although they have nothinu- to say. They often in-
trnde into the halls of seienee, into eonmiereial em-
poriums and hoards (»f trade, and into jjolitical assooi-
ati(»ns and even into |»rayer meetings, and althouuh
they are always heard, no one of all the company is
wiser for all they say. Theirs is sound without sense,
noise in the rising' and falling' iiiHection without melody,
harmonv. rhyme or reason. Those uentlemen ai'e
sometimes made to shiiu' when in company by the
lustre of wife and sistt'r. or sweetheart; but even, if
polished upJ'(U' a social or a Sunday : they soon absorb
so much of earth that thev lose their lustre until
])olislu'(l up a^ain for the next sucia
1. TI
U'lr heautv b
all extei'ual. and Is put on I'or the occasion,
Tin: si'oNci:
Mill
III
I'M
is a curious formation. There is a iii'cat variety of
sponu'cs. and all kinds of sponges excel in the prop-
erty of absoi'ptiou. The niost valuable treasure in
this world is time, so valuable is it that it is uiveu to
us in very small parcels. The iiu'rchant. the me-
chanic, the lawyer, the physician, the clei\uyman and
all students dread the approach of the human sponge.
He
[U)sorbs so much valuabh^ tune
I
n a
wholesale
house in Canada I once saw a card printed in huge
tyi)e, it I'cad thus, " When you call
u|)on a man ni
business hours, attend to your business, and when
through with your business, go about your business,
that he may have time to attend to his business."
Most appropriate ! This sponge formation drinks up
il
tin; si'()N(ii;.
•21
It
tliey
;ir<l.
11 iu-
l em-
issooi-
louiih
liny is
sense,
lolotly.
en are
by the
veil, it'
uUsnil)
V until
eantv is
riety of
le \)Vo\)-
isnre in
ti'iven tt>
tiie me-
inaii and
sponge,
vliolesalo
in lartri'
man in
nd when
business,
usiness."
Innks up
hir;;'e <|Uiintities of eity, town or neii^liborhood <::()ssip,
travels from house to liou.se absorbinii' i'amily news.
All the courtships, family inisnmlerstaiMlinus, |)ersonal
aH'airs. and private matters. lie knows, or pretends
to know, everybody's business, tlieir motives an<l in-
tentions. Spon«>'e like, you have only to brinjx to
iiear a little uentle pressure, and the news of tluMvlKite
town will be uiven out i'or public use, or for [irivate
scandal. The news in all cases so tinged and dis-
colored by the nature of the sponge that has carried it,
that it a])pears very different from what it was when
absorbed. This sjionge may be either niasculiue, fem-
inine or neuter, and is more or less to blame for the
public scandals, church trials, family broils, and civil
lawsuits in city, town and country. InaiicitMir Greece,
i he who slandered his neighbor, was, according to law,
4 comju'llcd to go round the town with only half a coat.
If such a law was enforced in our day, some of our
citizens would run desjierate risks of catching cold.
There are some most excellent
i.Hirou sii'()\(ii:s
in community now, they go round from bar-room
ti> sal(»on, and then round again, loafing and spong-
ing. They never buy any tobacco (»r lick-her, and
yet, they always come home so smoked, and so steamed,
that voii can nose them long before they reach the
I door. They are full of liipior and tobacco, inside and
outside, and yet it is all sponged, fjohn was
onc(> a manly man, of piincely form ami noble mien,
lie had the body and brain of a noble man ; but of
late y<>ars poor d(>ar .loliii was a complete wreck in
H
:f!^
nil
■.'I, (MM I
'h "
^>)i I'-ii
I' II
Hi;!
22
rill': ODD .MAN AND HIS (»DDi'rii;s.
iniiid. Itody. iind estate. How does It come Jolm,
tell iiu' Mow. How is it yon lU'ver hiiy drink now. do
you. .loini ? \(t, n(». not now. 1 Inive notliinu' to pur-
eliiise it with now. the li(|nor scIUt luis my faiMn now.
Well .John, how is it yon always e(»nie home drnnk,
yet yon nevei" hny the drinU. Oh sir. yon know 1
haims ai'onnd thei'e. yon see and when any on(> of I'm'
comes in and calls t'oi- a (piart. and says, " come hoys."
I always thinks he means me. in some snch way
iMcn hanu' aronnd and ahsoi-h vast ((nantities of to-
bacco, rnm and opinm. always drawinu' largely from
the stock in ti'ade of some younu' man who is only a
learner in the ai-t. Tnlike othei* sponu'es. these do
not wait to he s(pu'e/ed in order to yield their con-
tents. I'oi- in onr pnhlic halls, offices, conrt rooms, on
fni'nitnre. (ire |daci's. stairs and carpets, on verandah,
side walk, and stree! cars, they continnally eject their
li(|nid lillh and nasty (piids. they al)s<n'l)ed a few hoiiis
before. One of thost' hninan sponucs with a month
full (d' nastin''ss beaan fiinuiiiu' his dirty jnici' aronnd
the lire place ol' a (deanly honest (Jjnaker. The odd
friend arose, and bron^ht the stranu'er's hat. and laid
it doun bel'ore him. sayinu' : "Thee mnst spit where
thee can carr\' it awav with thee."
J-IKi:s AND DISLIKES <)I' MKN.
23
()
»I()hn,
t\v, do
pur-
n n(»\v.
iiniU.
low 1
of cm"
l)oys.""
eh way
of to-
V iroiu
s only ii
licsf do
eir coii-
)01US. oil
I'vandidi.
jtH't tlicir
cw lioms
il lliolllll
v around
The odd
and laid
pit wIh'I'c
I
("IIAPTKR II.
Ho wliokcops ]iis('y(>s open to tlic likes and (lislikcs
oF.nuMi, till' various tastes and disjiositions of tlio odd
spi'cinu'iis around liini will soon see an endless variety.
( )ne man loves lantiiiaucs. lie can spend weeks in musty,
lusty, time-worn, molii-eaten lolios, liuntint>' amonii'
obsolete rornis of words in lan^uau'cs loni>' since dead
and buried, for the origin of a word. lie would ao
miles, on foot, and in the rain, to have a controversy
with an a<lverb.
" liikc a Iciinicd i)hil()loiiist, wlio cliiisc
A pa''tiii,!:- sylhililc tlirouii'li lime iiiid spiicc,
Sliirt i( at liuiiic. and limit it in the dark.
To ({aid.— to (Jreecc, — and into Noah's Ark."
Anotherman has chosen n'cometry and niiithematics
as his hobby, he thinks, and talks and dreams id"
rubes and solids, ol' riuiit lines and trianii'les, cipia-
tions and loiiarithms. Another has a riilinu' passion
I'or rhyme; he writes and thinks in verse, lives in a
world that lias no existence, moves iiround anionu'
<'reatures (d' his own I'ancv, lauulis at their own
spectres, weeps over sori'ows that never I'xisted, loves
Triends and hates enemies, which exist only in their
imau'imilion. Soiik' men arc born poets. Isaac
Watts, when a lad, round that he could express liiin-
seir more I'cadily and with greater ease in versi> than
in prose. His latluM' (d'ten reproved him for his
verse imikinu'. and one day thrt>atene(i to iipply the
birch to his biick, if he did not stop his versilication.
I)H I
■1) I
lit I
M'lii
I III
'
II
*J
>i ■-■>.
|| 'I,
ll i:
24
Till': ODD MAN AND JUS ODDITIKS.
Ilis fatlitM' <rr()\viii(>: aii<rry held tlio nid over the hul,.
when the y()im<>' poet eried out :
" Dear fatlier, do some pity take,
And I will i\() more verses make."
One o(hl si)eeiiiien ( I' a man is so full of humor that
he carries tlu> sun. moon, and stars, with the doxoloiry
in his face, when, ior his wife's sake, or for his
minister's sake, he ti'ies to eontrcd his fun makinjj;
propensities; even then, he lanuhs all over. He
eunnot help it ; it is his superahoundinu' p)od nature
imitatinii' the northern liuhts. Ilis next ueiiihhor is
exeeedinuly demure, he has no fai'ulty lor wit. or
humor, was nevei' known t(» indulu'e in a hearty lau^h,
iiideed his wife thinks that he never really and truly
did lauii'li. oiiee. she says, he smiled.
One odd man is so disposed to stand upon his
dijiiiitv, and his diunit\' stands st> hiuh, that in com-
pany he seems all alone, a
^titT. cold, dissocial hodv
a kind of social iceheru', he has ik*! a W(»rd to say to
anyhody. ami he does not want anyone to speak a
word to him. Ilis neiti'hhoi' is iu>t as odd as he is,
only away on the other exti'enie, he is s(» sociahle that
he is the ol)serve(l of all ohservers. In l"iX-( iovernor
I'owell. of KeiitiM'ky. you meet a line example, lie
wan not an orator hy any means, thou^li a uood story
tidier. Ilis forte lay in uaininii a persomd intimacy
with everv one I
le UK
t. In tl
lis wav
lu' wa?
powerful electioneerer. ( 'onnnuup lhe( )hio river, says
a traveller, I heard the followiti^ : '•(Jovernor Powell
lives there, ncs. he lives there." Is an old I'csidenter,
ves he I,-
A verv sociahle nuin is he not? " ^'e
.1'
■■ (iKN. (UiANT AND Till: POLlTlCf AX.
25
U'
lad,
or that
)xt)l(>,u'y
lor his
iuaUint>'
r. He
1 nature
nhhor is
wit, or
y hui;i'h,
[\u\ truly
upon his
[ in coin-
ial l)o(ly.
to say to
speak a
as he is,
iahle tiiat
( loVCMMlor
ipU'. Hi*
:oo(l story
intiniticy
10 was a
river, sayrt
or Powoll
ivsi(U'ntiM',
? " Yos.
ixMiiarkably so ; ''well I tlioiijrht so." T think lie is
one of the most sociable men I ever met in all my
life. Wonderfully sociable ! I was introduced to
him at the s|)rinus last sumniei, and he had not been
in my company ten minutes when he begged all the
tobacco I had, a'ot his feet u[) into my hi]), iind spit all
(iver me. Kemai'Uably ociable."
(it:N. (IKANT AND TIIK POLITICIAN.
Ac(>i'tain we?«tern colonel in Major-( Jeneral (J rant's
army took advantage (»f a sick furloutih to canvass
fov a nomination to Congress. On ap[)lication for an
(Ntension of his fui'lou'u'h, (uMieral Grant wrote on
ihe back of it as follows :
If Col. is :ibl(> to travel over his district to
electioneer for Congress, he is able to be with his
rcu'iment, ami lu' is hereby ordered to join it immedi-
ately, (tr be dismisse<l from the service.
AN ODD sroKV Ol' riJKSlDKNT MNCOLN.
Ml'. PresidiMit, >ai<l a friend to him, "there isn't
much left of Hood's ai'my, is there?" Well no,
Medill : I think Hoitd's army is about in the lix of
IJill Sykes' dou, down in S;inpimon County. Did
yiMi evei' hcai' it? Of course the answer was,
"never." "Well, liill Sykes had a loujii' yaller doir,
thai was forever ucetiuu' into the ueiu'hbor's meat-
houses, and hen-coops. They had tried a humlred
limes to kill il, bul the dou' was always too sniiirt for
them. l"'iually, one ol' ihem ;^(»l a bladder of a coon,
and tilled it with p(»wdei', tyinu' the neck with a piece
of puid<, split open a hot biscuit and put them in the
MMBIIIIH I
I I'll
I f\l
I,
26
TI!K ODD MAN AND HIS ODDrTIKS,
l»l;i<l<l('r hiitti'i'cd ;ill nicely. Wlicn lie saw the (lo,i>'
(•(»iirni<:- he fired (lie punk and tlii'cw it out. The dou'
s\vall(»\ved it at a liulp. Pretty soon tlieiv was an
ex|tl()si(»n. The liead of the do^' lit upon the j)orcli,
the loic-leus cauiiht astiaddle the I'ence, the hiiul leu's
fell into tlu' ditch, and the rest of the do^' lay around
loose. Pretty soon P)ill SyUes came alonu'. and the
neiiihltoi' said : " P>ill. I uuess there ain't nineh of
that doii' ol' your'n left." "Well, no, said Jiill ; I
see plenty of pieces hut I uuess that dou', as a <lo^-,
ain't of much more account," just so, Medill, there
may he I'rau'meuts of Hood's army around, hut I *«ues.<
that do,^' as a do,u'. ain't of much account."
(TUIOIS TASTK.
W'v iind many odd specinxMis of our day wheu
consultinii' the la>tes and fancies of peoples and
nations' especially where we nuiiht suppose that taste,
with delicate tinii'crs, would hardly dare to intrude. I
I'efer particularly to the diiferent colors chosen in
houis ol deep UKUiruMiu' ani
1 liiief. 1
n our eountrv
autl with our Saxon race in all countries, hlack. only
accords with the seasmis ol' urief and sadness. While
in China and .la|)an, while is llu' only color use<l to
show sorrow durinu' the days of mourninu'. on the
removal of friemls. In Tui'Uey. they weai' hlue and
violet at all their funerals. In .\hyssinia and
throuiih Southern l\uypl, ihey choose ^rey to express
their urief. 'The Pt'ruvians wear hi'own. The
Ah>xandrians in time of moniiiiuii' chotoe ytdlow as
hest atlapted to show their ui'ief. How extremely o(ld
looUinu' to us such fancies al funerals.
Trrr-"— ■"
lie doti'
'he doii'
I was an
porch,
liiul k\us
around
land the
iiucl! of
Jiill; 1
s a (h)ii',
ill. there
t I uness
(THlors LOYALTY.
(TlMors LOYALTY.
27
ay when
|)les and
hat taste,
tvude. 1
'hosiMi in
11- eonnti'y
lack, only
.. While
)r nsed to
I', on the
blue and
sinia and
to express
,n. The
yellow as
iMnelv odd
l)urin;i' the i)as.sa<>'e of the National troo])s thi'on<>li
Missouri, in ])ursuit of (Jeneral Priee. a crowd of
colored men came out of a lartic house to see them,
when the I'ollowin^' colhxpiy took ])lace. "Boys are
you all for the union? ••Oh! yes. niassa. when
yon's al)out we is" — and when I*i'ice comes, you are
secesh. are you?" •'IjOI'. yes. massa, we. we"s u()()d
secesh then, cixu't allow (h> white folk to t«it ahead of
ni<iu'ei's in dat way."
Cl'lUOlS TACTICS.
Whih' on a foi-ced march in some army movements
in .Mississippi, (leneral Flardee "came uj) with a
strau'ii'ler who had been some distance behind his
connnand. The (leiKM'al ordered him forward, when
the soldier replied that he was weak and br(d\en
down, mtt havinu' had I'ven half rations for several
days. That's hard, rc^plied the (Jeneral. but you must
push forward my u'ood fellow, and join youi- com-
nunnl. or the piovost uuard will tidvc you in hand.
The sohder halted, and lookinu' up at the (Jeneral.
ask(>d. "Ain't you (Jeneral Ilai'di'i'?" "Yes."
replied the (Jeneral. '•Didn't you writ(> Ilardi'e's
tactics?" •' ^'es." Well ( Jeneral I've st\idied them
tactics ami have them by heai't. " ^du have an
orih'i' then' to double eolunui at half distance, ain't
you? I'm a u'otxl soldier. (leneral. and 1 obey all
that is possible to be obeyed! but if you can show
me an order in your tactics, or in anybody else's
tactics, to double distaiu'c on half rations, then I'll
;l;'iv(> in.
'^,,11
1 ,;ll
li'HIli
)l"Hlll
"1
'4
1 Hi'
.1 •!!,!*'
2^
Tin; <)l>l) .MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
'riio (ireneral with a hearty laii,i!:li, adniittcd that
there was no tactics to meet the case ; and piittinii"
spurs to his horse vode I'orward.
(TRIOrs TOASTS.
Two iialhuit sons of Erin heinu' just discharged
From the service, were rejoicinu' over tiie event with a
wee taste of tlie ci'athur ; when one wiio i'elt all the
u'lory ol" his own noble race, suddenly raised his
alass above, and said, "arrah Mike, here's to the
gallant ould Sixty-ninth. The last iu the Held and
the first to leaN'c!" "Tut, tut man, said Mike, you
dou"t mane that." "Don't nuuie that," is it.
"Theli whiU do I maue?" " "^'ou mane," said Mike.
aud h(> i-aisi'd his ulass iiiuh ami looked loviuuly at
it. "lli're is to (he nallanl Sixty-ninth — e(|ual t(v
none !" an they drank.
AN ODD ADDi;i;ss.
The followinti' is tiie superscription of a h'tter that
passed through the Louisville, Ky., postoffice.
Fcils and Confcds let this g-o free.
Down to Nashville, 'I't-inicssee ;
This thrcc-ccnls stiiinp will pay the cosl,
I'nlil you find Sopliiii Post.
PoslniiishM- North, or even Soutii,
.May open it and fuid the truth ;
I merely say my wile's ,ij,()l well,
And has a baby, cross as you know.
A crinoi s i{i;i'i,v
\u Ii'ishmaii. from liattle (Veek. Michi,i>an, was at
hull {{nil battle, aud wa> somewhat starlliMl when the
A <;i:i:ai' ohDiiv
•2\)
tod that
puttiiiu"
scliiu'incd
lit with Ji
It all tlu>
aised his
's to tlio
tii'ld and
Mike, yon
t," is" it.
said Mike.
oviiiu'ly at
('((iial to
letter that
()\V.
nan, was at
d when the
the head of lii;^ ('oiii))anion on the left was knocked oH'
by a eaiiiioii hall. A few minutes after, however, a
s|tent hall broke the fing'ers of ids eomvade on the
other side. The latter threw down his liun and
yidled with pain ; when the Irishman rushed to him.
exclaiminii'. '"iJlast your soul, you ould woman, stop
your eryinu I Vou make more noist' alxfUt it, than
the man that l(»st his head."
A (ii!i;vr ()l)l)|■r^.
("ri;i!AN the eloipient Irish bai'ri.-ter said of him-
>i'lf that he mai'i'ied before he had touched his iii>l
lee. lie was in straitened fireumstances when his
first fee was brouulit to his house. .Mrs. Curran.
beint:' a l)arrister's lady considei'ed that their land
la<ly was tiikini;' undue liberty wIumi I'endndin^ti hei'
of ari'ears of rent. The i;dod woman fi'lt herself
auLii'ieved by her tenant> airs and freely aire(l her own
di.-[)leasure. I walkc'd out one mtu'uinu'. says the
elo(jUent man. at a later dale. "Mo avoid the |)er-
petual altercations on tlu' subject of rent; with my
mind in no enviable condition. I fell into a uloomy
mood. 1 had a fanidy for whom I lia<l no dinner; a
landhuly f(M' whom I had no rent. 1 had Lidue
abroad in despomlency, 1 returiu'<l in despt'ratiou.
When 1 (•pene(l my study, the lirst thinii' 1 saw was
an inuuense folio of a bi'ief. with twenty ti'old
^.i'uineas wrapped up beside it. 1 paid my landlady,
bouii'ht a u'ood dinner, thanked (i(»d. and took courau'e.
.Mr. ("urran was known as a ureat punster. .\ person
with whom he was con\'"r>inu' who was very precise in
his pr<tnunciation cried out to one of the company.
[ I I I ■ " nil-
I'- Hill
' iltt'
!l
80
TlIK 01)I) MAX AND 1II« ODDITnOS.
who had just cut down curiosity to ciirosity ; oh said
he, in a low voice to Curran, " how that man niur-
<lers the langua<i;e!" "Not exactly '^o bad, was the
reply, he has only knocked an I out of it."
Once in ci'oss-exaniinin<»- a horse-jockey's servant,
he asked him how old his master was, "■ I never put
my hand in his mouth," was the appi'opriate reply.
The lauji'h of tlie assend)ly went a<;ainst the lawyer ;
hut he soon recovered his yronnd. "And very
•wisely you acted, for by all accounts he is a *>reat
bite/'
C'hief Justice VUiw and Curran entertained a stronu'
dislike for each other. The Chancellor, once learnin<i-
that the barrister was to plead in an imj)ortant case
in the (V)urt of Chancery, placed his favorite New-
foundland do<r at his feet, and pai<l more attention to
him, than to the ar^nunent of the |)leader. At last
his inattention became so marked, and so j)ointedly
offensive ihat the plcadcM' abruptly stopjxHl his
address, "'(loon, Mr. Curran," said thcrJudiic. " ao
on." "Oh. 1 b(\u' a thousand j)ardons, my Lord, I
really took for uranted thtit your lordship was holding'
a consultation."
Chief Justice Carleton on coming into court never
ceased, says Sir .1. iiarrin<;ton, "to complain of the
state of his health and often introduced lady Carleton
in his book of lamentations. One day he entered the
court encumbered with a more than ordinary load of
woe, an<l apitlojii/ed to the le<;:al genthunen assend)led
for the necessity in which he stood of a<ljournint;'
business for that day, thou<2,h there was an important
issue for trial ; ■' for," he addiMl in a low tone, "poor
,2^^ga|fcj^^v
A (JRKAT ODDITY
31
oh said
111 niur-
was the
■iorvant,
ever put
o reply .
hiwyer ;
lul very
a yreat
a stronji:
' h'arniiij::
•taut case
rite New-
tention to
At hist
pointedly
)pped his
idue, " ii'o
y Lord, I
IS hohrm<>'
ourt lu'ver
ain of tiie
y Carleton
'Mtered tlie
ry h)ad of
asseinhled
idjouriiinii;"
iniportaut
)ne, " poor
I
Lady Carletoii has had afausse couche, and — " oh"
exclaimed Ciirran, "your lordship need not have made
any apology as it appears that your lordship has no
issue to try."
On one occasion the Judge cautioned Mr. Curran,
saying: "It would he well if you were better on your
guard in wluit you say, for if not, you may lose
your gown." "They may take the gown, niy lord, but
thev must leave the stuff behind, was the rejoinder."
Curran was addressing a j'lry with great earnestness
and eloquence, when the Judge, who was thought to
be antagonistic to liis client, intinuited ids dissent from
the argunu'ut advanced by a shake of Ins head. "I
see tiie motion of his lordsliip's head. Persons unac-
((uainted with iiis lordship would be apt to think it im-
})lied a difference of opinion. i)ut be assured, gentlemen,
this is not the case. When you kn(/>v his lordship as
well as I do, it will be unnecessary to tell you that
when he shakes his head there is really nothing in it,"
Fn the Court of Chaiu'ci-y in ICngland Curran was
making a strong casi' to the Judges, and his opponent,
Slicing that he was making an impression on the Court,
tried every way to divert his attention and destroy the
force of his arguments, at last finding that Curran was
making out a strong case, arose and offered him a pinch
of snull". Ciiri'an turned most politely to his opponent
and said, with gravity bei'oming the place and the
audience, "thank you. had my nose been designed for
a dust IkiIc, it would not, sir, I imagine, have been
})laced upside down."
Najjoleon was an uiordinate lovei" of snuff. He
took a spoon full into his nose wIumi on the field of
If
r 1 1"
'■ "in
32
I'm: ODD MAN AND Ills ODDITIKS.
i!i»
Wi
"; t :!•
Waterloo ho wrote to one of his ii:enerals, "The hattK>
is ours," but before the next hour he found to his sur-
prise that the Duke of Welliii|iiton, who nevei' used
tobaeeo in any iorin, was u|) to snuff".
"Knows lie that never took :i pini-li
Nosey! the ])leasur(' thence which tlows/
Knows lie the litillatiiii;' joy •
Which my nose knows.
Oh nos(>! 1 am as I'ondol' tlu'c
As any mountain of its snows.
I ii'a/.e on thee, and I'eel the i)ri(le
A lioman knows."
j^hakespeare. in his i)hiy of IT(Miry W
savs:
— "He was perlumed like a milliner
And twixt his linger and his llininb he held
A pouncet box. whicli ever and anon
He gave his nose."—
— "Oh. how il liniiles ii])
The titillated nose, and lills the t-ycs
And hreasl. till in one comrortahle snee/.e
The full collected i)Ieasiii'c Imrsls at last."
When visitinu' tlie dewish teniple in PhihuUdphia.
on thi- ji'reat (hiy of atonement. I took olf my hat as I
entered the sacred phiee. Very soou. oddly cinmuli.
one Inivinu' authority tohl im\ --Sir. |>ut on youi' hat."
In thi' east. ihey. in acts <d' worship put on tlieir hats
and take olV their shoes.
SlINDKSJIIN.
Wiiih' alhidinti" to odd thiiu^s in a phice of wor-
ship, we must not foruct the Kirk minister whose sci-
inons were somctinu's a litth' loni; and rather dvy. One
of the "i'cjod ehh'i's named diimes was sometimes eaiuiht
siiNi:i:siiiN.
I" UattU'
u V s :
il:ulol\)bi!i.
k- luit as 1
V I'luiuu'h-
vour hat.'
I their hats
ii'e of woi-
whost' si'i-
vdvy. One
lues oau.iiht
napping in church. The minister said to him. ".lame-
sie. I see yoii tak a hit o" iiajt in the Kirk sometimes.
Can you no take a litth- mull isnurt') my maun, and
when you hecome heavy tak a pinch, and it may keep
vtiu up."" '"May he."" said tlie lOlder. ••hut nnnister.
pit \'e the schneeshin into the sarnion and it will serve
a Li'ood pui^|)ose all round.'"
Thei'c is ximethinti' very amiisinji' in the idea ol'
what may he called ••the titness of things"" in rcLiard
to snuH" takinii'. wiru-h occurred in the experience of an
honest hitihlander. .\.t the hotel a 'gentleman wa<
<taudinu near hy. when he ohscrvcd a tall, tine lookinu'
man .-tandin^i' near him. dri'ssed iii full tartans, and he
noticed the width of his no.-lril<and a tine turned up
nose. The u'cnt Icman enLi'a.Li'ed in convei'sation. and as
a com])linienlary act. olTered him his snulV hox for a
l)incli. The hi^hhimler drew away ami I'athei- hauLih-
(ily >aid. ••{ never snulT."" ••Oh."" said the other.
••thalVa peely. for there's u'rawnd acct)mmodati(»n.""
The Scotchman is a u'ifted individual, nasally,
wlictlicr we coii>ider the St rath(dy<lian . Pitcariiin or
Cidedonian. and as a I'ule he conunonly knows what he
is ahoiit . liike hirds ol' pre v. he can scent a u'ood thiuL;'
a loni:' way otV. Scotch eyes can see an opening' foi'an
enterprising' ••chiiT" in the most uidikely ni'iiihhor-
hood. and catch the sweet aroma (d' siller a lon«^' way
off.
The liritish hnlldou' has a very i)i'culiar nose, re-
semhlinn very nnndi the British prize fiuhtei". Puu-
uacity is the idea indelihly impressed upon the nose of
hoth man and dou'. and man an<l don' hear out nature's
M
I' I'll:..
t lint
34
rHE ODD MAX AND HIS ODDITIKS.
rccoiiuiu'iulatioii!* to the utmost. One ir* all teeth, the
otlier all fist. pjn<jlan(l has very little reason to be
y>rou(l of either. The sti'eet roiiirh has, as a rule,, the
nose of a puji', or snub pattern, and has much of the
bulldo*;- in his e(tmposition.
The old Ixomans were well off as to nose. It is
much to be doubted whether if they had not such noses
they would have d(»ne such deeds. They had very bitj
noses and very short swonls. and they did what on in-
(juirv will be found to have been the mctliod ado|)ted
bv all iiH'ii of strcuiith and character — they f(»llowed
their noses. The nose wi'Ut lirst aiul the sword fol-
lowi'd. That fact is as plain as tin' nose on the read-
ers i'iH'v.
The twelve ( "lesars. beiuu' imperial themselves, had
Cicsariaii or imperial noses, ■•rains .lulius." says his
mo
lad a nose as bin as his commentaries.
"Xraplier.
'■Numa Pompilius had a nose" said Lernpi'ievc whicdi
was a nose — it was half a loot lonti'. His second name
was only a .-urname. for a [yerson possessing- (in the
lauLiuaji'e of Lydia Thom[)son ) the noisiest nose that
you ever did si'c."' All the kiuys befoi'i' Tai'(iuin had
loufi' noses and all of thci:! reigned in peace; hut Tar-
([uin (degenerate Roman that he was) had a small nose,
and they pulle*! his throne to pieces and kicked hi
in
ou
t of I
iome
Proverbial philosophy (not Tupper's) has much to
*■ I^rudent men smell far, while
say about noses.
the fool has no nose
Ovidius Naso was
indebted to his j^^reat nose for his second name.
Queen Bess must have had a nose of a goodly size ;
tl
( IIOKAL i-KKVK i;.
35
eth, the
)n to be
ule,. the
1 of the
0. It is
lU'li noses
I vcn-v bitr
lilt on iii-
l n(loi)t(Ml
tollowcd
I the iVJul-
solvi's. luul
,•' says his
\oiitiU'ios.""
■\v\-v which
'COlltl lliUlU'.
iiu; (in the
t nose that
\iniuiu had
•c; hut Tar-
i small uose,
kicked him
has much to
1 far, while
Naso was
cond name,
goodly size;
olluTwisc she cduld never have led so many men of
maik hy the nose. There has been much fun joked
at noses both in ancient and modern times. Tiiere
was a certain French Dauphin called Count Siud) :
there was a celebrity in nu^dieval romances who was
called William of Oranir*'. popularly known as
AN'illimii. with the short nosi". ()nr Iron Duke.
Welliuii'toM was \uli:arly. yet eiidi'aiMuu'ly known as
old X(»sey. on accimnt of his lari'e nose, ('t)rnelia.
the IJoman matron had a nose indieaiive of character.
Luerelia had a !'."■<"' indicative of Lireal weakness.
('leo|)atra had a liiu'ly formed nos<'. Pretty little
women u>ua!l\' have little noses, sometimo we lind
ladies with too much clu'ck. and otliers. aizain. have
too much nose. Many (»f the extremely odd Illinois
we see amont:' men have theii' oriiiin in the education
they receive, and the early |)reiudices they formed.
( )u the introduction of hiiih cliurclii<m into Seoiland,
the full choral <er\itH' was introduced. 'Phei-e was
a costly oruan and a full choir of sinu'crs introdueed
ity a wealthy lady, who had. out of lu'r own money,
built a church, and furnished it : she invite(l a lady
friend oi' hers to acc(tm|)any her to church oiu- Lord's
day. as she e\|)ected a i'ull choral servit'c. which, in
her estiuuition was really almost divine. The Seotcdi
lady was of the old Presbyterian school. She listeiu'd
to the p<'ri'ormance with ureat attention, but was not.
so hliihly enamored with thesonji' service; for on their
way honu' she was asked how she liked tlu' musicr
and sin^in^' ; she answered, oh very p)od. very n'ood,
very bonny ; but ah my huhlie, it was an awfii way
to spend the Sabbath.
r ii" ;tir
1
'l*nii|tt
:\C}
,11 K ODD M\N AM
xvinsTi.K-KntK.
. ,,,.,.,, in Scotltuul a u»vut
Kn.lishrluurlu-s. our u.> ;^^^, ^^-i^. „,,,,, U.Uvc.-u tlu"
lii^ roat
.ark i^Un-n .n.m. -__ ,^,,i,.„,, j.ovii.u ol ouv
..av^ln. sU'koul>uU-. ,. ^„^-,,,,iv a..! loyally to
Sn.t..lM-'l>»— ' ^' •':' : ..rtlu.SaUl.ailMlay.
f' -^-'•^'-^'•'■^''';;;;: nlinoron.orU.oM
..a.u.s who.. -•'-- ;;;^„:,, .,,,.;,.,. ai,ou, .k.
-vm'vship of ^»*'':'^^^*^ •,•„.•• lnaS-o,rl, ko.,u-
lh.aayiol..sr..nu.su-tlu ^. ^^^^^^.^^^ ^^^^,^^„,„,
ai> -^ :>'''r""'; a auU. lno.k.toU.t
patuMUvva.>n aan.. > ; Ui.n to .kisll.. a^
•ill '^ ■ 1 • •.,,i> ( c-iirt'O lom •■■
lis ..ii'-' '';•■ ;■'';;': ,■„■„,„ ..r i^^ >.vs.
on («oa > l>l* ^ ' Jni'UlM-' owl:-.
ir <i-v -■"• '''>''f 'Hn? h,a i..nvu..w.v. ■■""■>'
«iti.^'-' -'■"'•'';;:.:,,;,,.:,,,,. i.i.-..is.uu,,,i,;
•1
ri
(.(>i>-ii:ai!1N(; lai)>
'>i
AD \VIllSKi;v
hn<l tlu-
■k in:>i>.
K'*
II tlU"
|vcr was.
Ml (11 <
iii\'
alli «lav.
It'll It'H
;\Vt'U
r. :i
iH'iiutifnl ;
llx.Ul ill*'
lis II
on
i.lcli hos|>i-
>ur!j:'i'ons
Icari'il llu'
,.,lt«r lo trst
wliislK". as
is miisclfs.
ii'prisf. and
lU'h a tli'm.iJ;'
I'kiiiii l'»\v
ru'c '»
r tlu-m,
man n
(M
All cMcrly cliict' of a iioltic clan ui\('s ii> a uood
view of tlic ^^l•i(•tll('ss of Sabbat li observance aiiioiiu-
Ills people, and of tlic li'i'eat laxity on otlnT iiiattei's.
To a t'l'iciid tVoiii allot lier elan, he said onr I'olk are a
(iod-feariii i'olk here, said Donald . Ini ,i!lad
lo hear that said Mr. M. ()ii. aye sir. (U'vA they ai'e ;
ami I'll liie you an instance on it. Last Sabbath.,
jii.-t as the Kirk \\a< skalin. (dismissed), there \\a> a
didN'er eliield j-'red D.iiiifries coomin aloiiii' the loaii
whistlim:'. and looking!' as happy as il' was the middle
of la>t week. W'eel sir. (tor lads i.- a (iod-learin set o
lads, and aws lliey were coomin odi o the Kirk, od
lliev x'okil upon hill), and amoost killed him. Mr.
imiuireil 1 1
he\ were no
I d
riiiil
assault a lone lad on ihe public ImliIiw ay ■.■' W'eel.
well.'" sir. said honald. •• I'll no >ay. but it may be
they were. They a'nio.-l killed him." ••Depend
uiioii It. >ai
I Mr. M
II
a l>ad thinu'.
wlii>kv
N\'eel. Ill no sa\' but il maw addinii'
ilh an emphasis, especially baad whisky
(»i»i)rni;s oi' ckiia'C mi;n,
I nere are many amiisiiin' leatures iioled in tlic Ii\es
of (iiir '/real nia>iers in all departments ol' science
and of soiil:'. Aiiber wrote lii.~ bi'>l essavs on liorM'-
baek. Il was iioi piissible for him to write in any
oilier place than Paris. Meyerbeer composed his
.p|i,.{l best pieces of niiisic duriiii:' the most violent tluindei'-
Idv. •'IIh'V >lonii. Salieii Liaini'tl his inspii-ation while he
j(,|,.^|,_" walked tpiielly ihrouuh the .-ireeis lillee with a iliroiiu-
I''
[' I'll '' lllll.-
"■■IH|i,
38
rHK ODD MAN AND HIS ODDI'IIKS.
(»r liiiinan hciiiu's. niciiDtiiiic cntiiii: a (|iiantity of
coiirccticms. — llnydcn. that [xvv',\t inastor of music,
in (irdcr fo coinposc. sat in a soft arm chair, with his
eyes I'aiscd heavenward. - (JlucU composed his
master|)ieces in llie open aii\ ont in \\\v (dear sunshine.
lie u'l'sticnhited ycvy vioh'nily. as it' he were aclinu'
on the stan'c. — Ihuuhd. wanih'i'ed olV into the
chni'chyard, and sat down in one corner nnder the
weepinu' willow's shade. — .Mo/arl.drew his inspi-
ration IVoni readinii' Homer. Dante. Petracdi etc.
— N'erdi must read jtassaiics from Shakespeare.
(Joethe. Schiller. Ossiaii. and N'ictor IIuii'o.
Sidnller inspired his mnse l»y the snudl id' rotten
apple.- which he kepi constantly in his desk : hesidi-s
this, he liked to lixc annd siirroundinu's correspond-
ing!' to the>idiiect noon \\hi(di he worked. When he
w role I he las'i act o
.M;
ir\ M uart . lie li:i(l lii< ser
\anl.- (dothcd in l)la(d< ; and >o Icinu' a.-- he worked on
^Vallenstein he neL;'lecteil nn review, or other militarv
s|)eci;Mdc : and at home his wil'e mnst sinu;' haltle
piec<- to him. (loeilie l(i\ed to Iia\'e |)lastic works
d' art Itefore him a> he \\rol(
•lean
rani
re
|denislied his ideas while takini! a walk. In wrilinu'
he lo\('d ihe stroni:' snndl id' llowcrs. Ilerr von
Kloi.-t woiked with i^rcat dilHculfy. and when wi'ilinu
poetry it was a.- il' he had a contest with an inxisihie
liend. .Milltin. when coinposinn iIkisc nialcdiiess
|MM'ms. nsed to snrrcndei' himselj" to the nndtinu'
inllnen<'e (d' the harp and the oruan. ('nrran. when
he had I'ldly mastered his hriid" and his case, and sal
down to think it all over, took his vi(din. or small
harp, and for hours he would seem to I'orn'et himseH',
'^■Pl
ODDITIKS OF (iltKAT MKX,
ity ol
music,
ith his
K'(i
Ins
Inslnnc.
iictinu'
Jlto tlic
<l('i- the
is iii.-|»i-
icli etc.
.I'spciirc.
Ill I'oltcn
hCSKlfS
i'i'('S|i(»n(l
lini lie
W
(I his scr
iorUiMi ("1
r III
ilit
iiv
112 IcittM'
-tic woi'Us
Wlllll
rc-
II wnliim'
il
en von
'II wnliiiu'
1 iiivisihh-
iiiiilchh'ss
Itiiiii'
(• IIU
nm, wiH'ii
■(c. iiiid Sill
I. or siiiiill
'I hiiiif'cir,
■%
runiniii>' over those liiand ohl Hebrew melodies, which
inspired and inviu'orated all the powers oP his mind
aiKi
w
1 |)re|)ared him for his efforts at the hi
ir
Alii
ere
ho wroti' for the staiic, says ho used to pre|)are for
his mental eff'orts hy music. ''Almost all my tra,t>e-
dies.'" he says, ••■vere sketched in my mind either iu
the act of hearinu' music, or while under its elevatinu'
and soothing' power." — Lord liacon consulted the
muse> while in his most profound studies, and had
music |)laycd in the loom adjoining' his study. Father
Wieland in comjxisinu' his poems trilled a lively sonu',
and sometimes would sprinu' away from his W(U'k and
<'iit a caper in the air. Hui'^'cr. the immortal poet of
Leoiiore. is said to have whistled street sonii's as he
wrote his verses on |)a|)er. Ilolderlin was often cryint;
w lien he composed jiis poems. Lafontaine's wife once
found her hushand swimming' in tears as he wrote his
poems. Mattisoii wi'ole his poems l>y moonlight while
slandinii' near a window. Lamartine wrote his hest
thiii^i's in the niorninu' before breakfast, while sitting
before a tire. A contemporary ol' Dumas wrote thus:
"The wrilinu d(>sk of ,\le.\ander Dumas presents a
picture of classical disorder. 'I'he study lloor is cov-
ered with books and papers, behind which he is seated
formally barricaded. Also a (|uaiilily (»f cats, dons,
poultry. piLi'cons and siniiinu birds are to be seen
ni'ound, and these he feeds, strokes and kec|)s (tut of
inischi( f while writing', in tin- backa'i'ound stand a
number of |>rintei's' devils wailinii for copy, llo
writes wry rajiidly. and cari'ics on. very often, a con-
versation at ihe same time. lie is verv iieii'liycnt
in
hisd
ress.
p ■
40
THK Onn MX^ AND HIS ODDITIKS.
cHAiTEi: ni,
Tlie iincioiit (Jreoks iittsiched yvcat iiii[»(>rtanc(' to>
HiUiK's. Phitd roconiiiuMids parents to he careful to
'/w'v happy, jdeasant names to their ehihhvn: and the
Pvthaji'oreans thouu'ht lliat the minds, actions, and
success of men were hu'iicly iidhienced hy the names
they hoi-e. The lionuins tauLi'ht the same thinu". and
were strongly impressed with the same 'uU\i. J3oiiwn,
voiiiett omev liecame a popuhir maxim amonu' them.
To seh'ct bono noniimi was always an ohject of s(dici-
tn<h'. and it was enouuh to hli^ht a man's prospects
for life if he hore a name »d' evil import.
.Ml names were originally siiiiiilicant . and were
always hestowed hy the llehrews and the (i reeks with
reference to their well-uiulerstcMid meaning'. Sometimes
they were historical, and usually commemorative of
some incident, or circumstanceconnected with the hirth
of the individual hearinu them; as M<tses. drawn out of
the water; Thomas, a twin; Mains. May; this latter
name^jfiveii usually to one horn in that month; Septimus,
the seventh. In other cases the name uiven was ex-
pressive of some as|)irations. desires ur hopes <d" the
parents; as N'ictor. one who concpn-rs; Prohus. truth-
ful ; l*\dix, ha|tpy ; liencilict, hiessed. \'ciy often
(hey were descriptive ol' personal (pialities; as Macros,
tall; Pyrrhus, ruddy; ilid'us, red haired. Names an-
as important ami sionidcMut now as they were in the
(he days of Isaiah, (U' of Plato ; hut we iuiiorantlv, or
carelesslv niisapi)
Iv tl
lem.
II
eiu'c so nuiiiv
oifd
name
NAMi;s.
41
tliicc t<>>
Irofiil t<i
iiiid tlu'
lis. and
(' iiaiii('>
inu'. tuid
lionwn
<i' tlu'iii.
)!' solici-
|)r(»s»)('('t.'^
Mild wcro
(H'ks witli
Mmictinu's
)ia(ivc <d'
I the Uii'tli
wii out of
this hitter
Scptiimis,
II was cx-
)('s ol" the
HIS. triith-
I'ly (d'teii
IS Macros,
Sanies are
I'le in the
iraullv, or
>(/</ names,.
most oi* them ab<urd misnomers. Lei^h Hunt says, a
man with the names we often meet iniLdit as well, to
all undei'stood purposes, he ealled sj)oon, or Hat-band;
Blaiu'he, is now not at all tlu; flaxen-haired blonde
whi<'h her name imlicates. Isabel, is no lonju'er brown,
she is bloiidt'. Oddly ciioiiuh, the names have both
ln'cii misapplied. Ceeilia, (uray-eyed ) belies her name
and lets Hy the arntwsof love and tenderiu'ss i'-om orbs
of heavenly blue. lu'beeea, who ouiiht to lie some-
what t'liilionpoiiit. rounded " with beauty,"" as the poet
|)iits it. is a slender iily-liUe maiden much better suit •
iiiLi' the name of Susan.
It may interest my readers to ])reseiit a fi'W ))er-
soiial names of our boys and liirls in this eoiintry,
etynioloiiical. historical ami poetical.
Ai>A comes from ilu' Saxon Kdith. Kaditli, Eade,
Ada siii'iiities happy, PtyroiTs only daULihter was
named Ada. liyroii ask>:
'■ Is lliy I'ace like tliy inotlier's my fair cliild. .Vda?"
A i>i;i,Aii)i: is ol' (Jermaii derivation and means, a
princess. I'roetor says:
" \ little maid
(Joldi'ii tressed .\delaide.'"
Adeline is only a dill'ereiit i'oriii oi' the same name.
Ti'iinysoii asUs.
" What ailetli I lieeV— Whom wailest thou,
Witii thy sol'teiied, shadowed iirow,
\\u\ I hose dew lil eyes of thine,
'I'lioii laiiil siuiler, Adeline? "
.\<iA'i"ii A, means nood, it is a (Jrt'(d< word.
.V(;ni;,>^, chaste, is also from the (ireid;, ami is (»ne
id' the best naiiie> in use aiiioiui' us.
I
'-■Hlj...,!
' nil' -a!
42
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
Alfred is Saxon. siLrnityiiiM- all peace. It is a
good name, and should be a Favorite ainon^ us, boast-
iufj: as we do of (nu- Analo-Saxon deseent. and tracing
some of our tVee institutions to King Alfred the Great
who revived the Hebrew institutions of our ancestors.
Ai.D'iA. or Alice is from the Latin, and means noble.
Ft is one of (»ur sweetest t'emah' names. Tennyson
asks.
"O tliat 1 were, Ix'sidc licr now,
() I will slin Miiswcr if 1 Ciiir.'
() I would she i^ivc inc vow I'or vow,
Sweet Alice, if I lold li(>rall."
Amui.ia. or Amelie comes tVom tlie l''rench Aimee
and means beloved. Amy. or Aimie. and I^niiy have
the same (h-rivation ami meaning. ()ur vocabulary
contains no sweeter, or more lovcablc name. Ilai)|)y
i> she who beai's a mime lull of such sacred signiti<'an<;e,
and happy the man who is privileged to whisj)er in hei*
ear as the highest word of cmlcarmcnt .\mie. or Emily,
beloved !
Anna, or .\nnic. is the llcbicw Hannah, and
means kind oi- gracious.
Ahaukm.a. or the French .\rabclle. has a I.,atin
derivation, and has the meaning of beautiful altar.
Before no place of sacrilicc bend dcviuitcr worshippers:
" Melle, Arnbellii, Belle.
Fiurer tliiui my verse enii lell ;
Well
I love tliee, .Vridielle —
Helle!"
Airoi'HTl's. is from the Latin, and signilies " in-
creased." it implies that those who were so named con-
1 f'
N.VMi;s.
43
. It is a
IS, hoast-
(1 tracing
tilt' (irreat
iiiK'o.stors.
ins noble.
Pcnnvsou
iH'h Ainiee
Iniily have
vo(';il)nlary
>. Happy
iiiiitieanee,
sper in lier
. or Emily,
innnli. and
las a Latin
til'nl altar,
orsliippcrs:
liiiiiies "■ in-
named con-
tinnally urew in power and lionoi'. Its Teminine form
is An<iusta.
Baldwin, m hold winner; is a fine name <if the
old Saxon sonii'.
Baiji'.aha. is of Latin derivation, and siunitie.s,
stranu'e or foreitiii. Its mention recalls to mind the
melancholy fate of Jemmy (Irove of hallad memory
who died of a broken heart { [)oor fellow.)
■' Fertile love of Barbara Allen."
l>Asii,. moans kindly, is oi' (lre(d< oi'iuin. .\ii un-
popnlar mune in these repnhlican times.
l>i;\'n{i(i: is di'i'ived from the Latin, and means
one wlio l)le>ses oi- maki's happy. P>lessed he the man
on whom she smiles. No name can he more appro-
priate I'or a lovely and atl'ecti(»nate womiin. Dante has
immortalized it. Shakspeare and Sh(dly have thi'own
aroniid it the charm of their ver>e.
Bi;n.ia>iin is a hue old Ilehrew nanu', it means
•• the man of my nu'ht hand." It has heen home by
men of renown, amonji' whom were -lonson and
l"'ranklin.
l5i:i:iiiA. means hrinht. oi' famons. comc> from the
< I reek.
Hi \N( A. is the Italian foi-m of IJlanche and mean.s
white or fair. It is a sweiM name in both forms.
('ai.isia. means beantifnl. is(Jreek.
(" A'ni.MMM:. or Katherine. is derived from the
( I reek, means pure and chaste, and is one of the best
of our female mimes. In Irish it becomes Kathle(>n.
In Flemish. Kalaline. .\ pretty diminutive of
Catharine is Katharina; l)ut it is a greater favorite in
u "!.'■ 'Ill' k.
-in
■a
'"h'f!
I! I ,
I
u
TIIK ODD MAN AM) HIS ODKITIKS.
its fainiliari/('(l foriii ut' Kate. Who over kiii'v. a Kate
\vli(» \va8 not frolicksoiMc. miscliicvoiis and san<•v^ 'Plu-
|K»('t says.
■' Kate ;i sweet. l)iit siiucy ereatiii'e.
Witli ii li]) of scnrlel l)Iooiii :
>Vo()(ll)iiies sippinii' u'oMcii simliii'lit.
Hoses (Iriiikiiii:- I'icli iierfiiiiic:
N'oice ;is(l;iiiity as the wliisper
i''oui\ts i;ive ill tlieir erystal shfiiie.
Saucy Kate, so full ormiscliiel'.
Would I hat 1 eoiiM c-ili Ihee mine."
( 'ii Ai:i,i;s. Sonic ctymoloLiisls dixinc tlii> illu>-
ti'ious iKunc tVoni the ilcrniaii Kai'l : .\ iiL;h>-S;i\oii
("corl. a woi-il (h'tnitini; ni>!icity.
Its ti'iic oi'i^iii is round in the Shivonic Krol. a
kiiiu'. Thus I\r(d. Koioj. K:irolu>. ("arohis. ('hjii'h-s.
Ki'ol may have Clinic I'l'oui the Latin ( 'oi'olhi. or cn»\\ ii.
Chai'h's. then i> a kin^i'. one who i> crowned. This
scciiis an approiuiale >iLiiiilicatioii !'or a iiitnic which has
l)ccn horiic hy so many Kiniis and l'aii|icrors. ('hiirh-s
S(»iu('timcs is seen in this count ry in its S|)aiiish t'orin.
Carhts. Charlotte is one ol' the reminiiic I'orms ol'
Chiirh's and means a <iuccii. .\ll ('harhtttcs may lie
(|Uc('iis of hivc. and a> such must [irevail o\cr the
hi'ai'ts of men.
" My ( 'harlot I e coii(|Uers w illi a smile.
Ami reiunclli i|Ueeli ol' lo\ e."
('Aitoi.iNi; is ariotiu'r feinininc form ol' ('hsiilc.-.
('aroliiic assumes the familiari/ed. or [»et forms (d'
( arric, ( allic. ( aro and ( 'al.
CiiAKLoiri; hiys !isi(h' her (|ucenshi|>. and hi'comi'.-
^^ontlc Lotti(>.
NAMKS.
45
'\\ ji Kate
lU'V- 11'^'
tiii> illii--
ul(i-S;i\nll
lie K I'ol . il
<. Charlo.
or ci'iiw 11.
ir.l. This
■ which h:i>
i. ('hiirh'>
iiish i'tinii.
■ I'oriiis of
cs iiiiiy l>t'
I nwv tlu'
.1" Cliiirh-s.
t foriiis t»t'
iiiid hecttiiK'.-
Diiiiuond bri.uht sluiU Cliwu wciir.
Woven "mid Ik'I" sliiuinu' li:iir.'"
1)\mi;l. a jiuIlic i^ IVoiii the llchvcw.
David, al.-c «'oiii('s froiii tlic llrhivw. It uifaiis,
vvfll hchivctl.
|)i:i;()i:aii. >iLinifyiiii:- a \)vv. is aiiothiM' .liood hut
Ihmiu'Iv iKiinc rroiii the Ilchrcw >t(ick.
i;;i)\v AIM), means truth keeper.
Kdwin. happy winner, eoiues froni thcSaxon.
M Im.i-.anoi; IVoiii the l-'reueh. Kh'auore is of
Saxiin (iri,L;in and si::niiii's all fruit I'ul.
•• Kleaiiore,
A iiiniK lor inmcl'- !•) inurmui' o'er."
I'^MMA. teiKh'i'. alTeetioiiate. (literally one who
iiur>e>. enres for. \\atehe> over another) is of ( ierinan
origin. Who eould desir.' his mother. si>ter. or liishe-
j,,vt'd to Iteai' a sweeter ..r a hetler name? Kmeliiie is
-imph' a diminutive of Kiniiia.
10l!A>Ml> is from the (lre(d< and means heloved.
IsUM.si'. Kriiest is derived from the (iernian.
ll> feminine form i- lOriu'stine.
Kidl'.Ni;. nobly ileseendeij. is from the (JreeU.
KuM'enia is the feiiiiiie form.
gte I''i;aN(1s is of ( lermaii origin and siuiiiHcs frank
and fret'. iM'aiiees. of which I'^aiiny is the pet name,
is the feminine.
FuKUKiMCK means ricdi. peace.
(;i:(>i{«iK, a fanner, is from the ( ire "k. (ieorjfiia.
{leoriTctta aiiid ( u^oruiaiia arc its fcniiiiiiic forms.
( JKHriiini': is from ihc (icniian. >ioiiilics all
truth.
ii
4r,
rili; <»l)l> MAN AND Ills (>l)|)l riKS.
(litAci; iiiciiiis fjivor. Well may it \)v a favorite
iiaiiic. • •( "oiiiiih'IkI iiic to the (Iraccs:"'
"Vo\i iiiiiy toiisl yoiii' cliiirming Sue,
I'raisc your .Mary's eyes of Itluc,
(:|ioos<" wliatcvcr name you will,
Voiir liincy or your vcrst; to lill;
111 niv line rm name has place
iJiit llic s\vcct<'st one of (Trace."'
I1i:!,i;n (Latin Helena, l*'i'eiicli Ileleiie) is of
(ireeU oi'iiiiii. I'lie true ineauiuu' seems to he a vexed
(|Ueslion. ( )iie etynioloLi'ist says it meant alliiiin;:';
anotliei' uuiUes it mean a •'takei'/' one who "seizes:"
whih' a third (h'liiies it as one who ••|)ities." Manv
an unrortnnat<' lover I'onnd Helen allniin<:. and has
tinally heen seized, taken ami ('on(|uere(l by her briiiht
eves and sweet \oiec. IIa|t|»y he who Hnds her one
who pities, I'or pity is akin to \i)\v. l*Mlen is a dilVer-
ent i'orm of the same name. !l is ol'ten eontrae(e(l to
Nellie and Ni'li. and is a line name in all its forms.
I1|':m:v. means rich lor(l. is of (ierinan oi'iu'in.
It has heen borne by many kiiius. noblemen and
patriiiis. In its i'annliari/,e(l form it becomes llarrv.
Its feiininnaiious are Henrietta, Heiirica and Harriet,
who. since they cannot be rich lords, should be riidi
ladies.
IsAUi'.i. siuinties olive oi' brown in eoinple.\ion.
This is just the mime for a bonny brunette; the [)()et
siniis thus:
"(rive Mie tiie l)i()Wii ix'\v\ with the lui^ht, sunny s'^'W."
There is a silvery, birddike music in the name
whitdi is cKceediii^ly attnictive, aiul whicdi has made it
a favorite with tlu' |)oets. One says:
iM
w
NAMKS.
47
favorite
ic) is (if
!■ a vcxod
tillnriii^i';
"sci/A's;"'
Many
. and has
uT hriiilit
s her one
s a (lilTcr-
tracK'tl to
I'oi'nis.
HI origin.
I'lncn and
cs Harry.
I Harriet,
Id \)v rich
nipU'xion.
; the poet
\y ,i;l()\v."
the iiuino
us nuidc it
"Full many maidens names there lie.
Sweet to tlieo,
Fair to me,
And beautiful exeeediugly;
Hut none on my ear so sweet doth swell
As the name of mine own Isabel."
Jamios comes fi'oni the oh! llehi'ew stock and. is
•generally supposed to l)e the same as flacoh. The?
French .Jacdues. the Spaiusli .lavnie, the Italian Gia-
conio, Scotch, daniie. are the same luime.
.foiix comes from tiie Hehrew, means tiracioiis.
Th(; Latin, dnvenis; the Italian, (iiovanni; in the
Spanish, duan. and in the h'reneii. dean. Ir lias l)eou
tlu' name of some oi' tiie "greatest men tlie world has
ever produced, such ;is Milton. llam[>den, Calvin,
Locke, Dryden. Wesley, II(»wai'd. ^ioliel•e, Hancock
an<l .Vdams. W'e cannot hut sympathize with the
huuent of an uid'ortunate hearer of tljrd ancient and
honoi'cd. hut much al)used innne -
"Wliy did llii'V c.-dl me .lolm, 1 say,
Why did they call me .lolm?
It's surely just I lie meauesl name
They could have hit uponi
Heeauw my father had it too,
And sulfered for the same,
Is that a pro[)er reason he
Should propagate the n:. leV"
Tlie English peo[)le convert the mime into flack,
and tiie Scotch iido Jock, neither of which is either
eieji^ant or jrentoel.
Judith means the same as diidah, praise.
JuLiUH means soft haired, comes from the Latin,
didia, Juliet, Jiilietta and .Iidianna are feminizations
BtilSWr Twiriii'
'Nv
■*•
')ii
»ti
■1
*
II It
••4ti<
n
..
4S
TIIK <)l)l> MAN AND Ills ODIHTIKS.
!
"41
of fliiliiis. and tlicv all should wear on their <|U('('idy
lu'ads ''soft and silkvn trcssos.'" Julia nc(,'ds no
(Miloirist. since she is one whoui the poets have iinnior-
tali/,ed. .lulietta oi' duliet is a diminutive of .Julia.
I)ut has. as Talbot I'emarks. apparently united itself
with another name, doliette. the diminutive of .loliet.
which means pit'tty.
liAiMi'iA means joy. a ^^ood old Koman name.
^[ai;i:i, is ju-ohably I'rom M<t _Bell<(. my fair; some
think it a coulraction of uDiahelifi, lovely oi' amiable.
Madi'.i.ini; comes from the Syriac Maydeline.
maLinilicent. It is nobl(> name and a favorite with the
poeis. ll> l-'rench fi»rm is Madeline. Tennyson says:
" 'I'Ikmi art not sl('('|)i'(l in n'oldcii laiigiiois,
\o traiict'd suimncr ciliii is tliiiie,
Mvcr varying .Madciiiic."
Mau'I'II'i comes from the Hebrew, and means hit-
terne>.
M\i;v. tlie sweetest of all female names, is from
the Hebrew and mean- exalted. It i,- a famon.- name
both in sacred and st-cular in all states it has been liter-
ally e.\alte(l.
■■ 'I'iie very nuisicor tlic name lias udiie
Into our l)ciny'."
In the I'^cnch .Mary become> .Maria.
" Istliy name Mary. Maiden fair?
Swell should, UK' lliinUs, its nuisie he.
Tiie sweetest name thai mortals t)ear
Is l)ut i)etittin<i' tlicel "
MiiiANDA means admired: Mira. wonderful.
Prince l'\'rdinand. in " The Tem[)est," exclaims:
"Admired ^lirand! Indeed the ion of admiration,"
NA.MKS.
49
V (jiu'iMily
lU'i^iU no
:e iminor-
oV .liilisi.
ited itself
of ,I(»lii't.
luinu'.
fair; sonn'
)!• amiabit'.
MaytU'liiH'.
tr with tlu'
iiysou sayr-:
lors.
means I'it-
lues. is from
umoiis nann'
\s lu'cn litiT-
(• lU'.
wondei'ful.
xclaiins:
iviratioii,"
U()15i:i:t. cojucs fiMiu the old An^lo-Saxon words
ro or ru, lod. and bco't, heard, rod-heard; so says
Talhot.
IloMKo, a [)ilu'rini, from the Italian.
Kr'rii is from the llehi-e\v and si^iiiities a tretr.-
hler.
S.'vHAii. a princess, comes from the llehrew. In
[)oetry and sonu' it is chanued to Sally or Saliie.
Sophia means wisdom, is (Iretdv
SrsAN means lily and is of the llehrew. The
pet name is Sue.
TiiK()i>()i:i'; is a fine en])honic name from the
(ireek and siunities ••(lift ofdod."" The fennnine
form is Theodora.
"jSince we know Iht tor an ;tn,i;el,
Bearing meek llic connnon load.
].vt ns call her Tlicodoni.
Gift of God."
\'i<)F..v. a violet, is derived from tlu- Latin. Vi)V
-<i pure, modest, hashfnl maiden.
; \\\\i/ri:i; nutans a woodsman.
\\'ii.i,i.\M is of ( Jerman derivation and means
defender of many. This name, says \'ereste_ti'an, the
distinunisheil French anticjuarian, was not ji'iven to
children, hut was a title of diu'inty imi)osed upon men
who had distinu'uished themselves as of superior
merit. NN'hen a (Jerman had won high honiu's in the
Held of conflict, the tiolden helmet was placed upon his
head, and he was honored with the title of (Jildhelni,
or ji'olden helmet, and was hailed as a defender. With
the French the title was (luildhaume. aftewards Guil-
■'"-'"ssssaaE'jre -.irr ': ■
fe-
'I
: ■''!|l»|.
50
THi: ODD MAN AND Ills ODDITIKS.
:m
I
l;ulm(^ TIu^ (Icrniiiii I'dniior Williiuii is now Williclin.
W'illu'liiiiiiu ;iii(l Wiliaiiuttc hit the IViniiiiiie I'ornif-.
"Wliiifs ill II iiiiinc?
Iiniiiiii, .•iiiimi, vultiis. vitiic, iioiniu' est ?
It is ;iii iiiia^c of llic soul, the face, tlic life."
("(»M>i<tN \\'()i:ds i'i;()>i Odd Diiimva iions.
llrMi'.rc. 1^1 yiiiiil<i,2isis say this word coiucs I'rdiii
Jlunw of the Hot/, a Scolcli laird, wlm was (•clclii'atcfj
ill l"](linlnir;:li circles lur his iiiar\chtiis slorics. Ilciicc
any toiiu'h story was called a reiiiiiai' '•lluiiieor the
ho;.';," and hy coiitraclioii lIiiiiihiiL;-.
('anon. I'roiii a (ireek wonl lueaiiini:' " cane."
Iii'st a hollow rule ns"d as a iiiea>nre. then a hiw or
ride. The word is identical with "cannon."" so caUed
rroiii ils iiollow, tiiiie-liUe foriii. Hence it was said
wittily that the wurld ie t he iniddh'aucs was iioverned hy
canons and then iiy cannons — lirst hy Saint I'eler, '
then l»y salt pet re.
1)1 .\ii'i:i; is a coi'ru|)tioii of hhon j>i ri'.. nieaiiiiiLi'
the llolv l'"alh
er. o
r ti'ood lat her. or 1 o|)e. wiiost
lieahh \\mh\ to he toasteil alter dinner in all Catholic
coimlrics. as in I'hiuiand they drink to the heaillior
the (hiceii. ill overllo
wiiiLi' L:la.>ses.
A I
ainiper is a
fi'lass >o I'lill thai the lii|Uor stands swelling' in a hmnp.
A l>iiiii|ier must i>e iilicd to i he hriiii.
I>>-i,\\\s are not. etyiiioloLiically . laws of inCcrioi'
iiii|)ortance. IhiI laws ol' hyes. or towns, as distiu-
^•iiishcd I'ldin the i!'ciieral laws ol' a kin;;'doin. "By"
is the Daiiidi word for town or village; as Whithy,
Whiti' town; Derhv. iV'cr town, etc
ODD WOKDS.
61
t'orms.
■ lite.
(»NS.
oiurs I'ntiu
ci'lcltratod
ics. llclUH'
urn' «>r the
■u !\ liiw or
/" so CilUt'*!
it was salt I
n'ovcrni'd l>y
N\int rctfi\
/•,,'., nioaninii'
1N)|)('. wliosc
all ratholic
llu' licalth of
l)i\uHH'i' i"^ 'I
,n' in a hninp.
ws of inlVriov
MS. as distiii-
(lom. "Uy"
.. ;vs \VUitl)y,
lIrs'riN(.s. TlutDj is the iiaiiic whicli the Danes
^nvc to llu'ir a>s('iiil)li(.'s held in tlio open air, as our
assoinhllc's (tn nomination day. Sonic of tiuMi" sniallci-
«ratlu'rin,<is were held in the house and were known as
Ilnstiniis. nr lI(Mi.-e tilings.
IlrsiiANit eoiiies tVoni iiou^e and hand.
I'asmrc —
The iiniiic ul' a liushiuul, wiial is i1 to say.
C)t wilV aii'l the liouscluild, the liaiid and llic stay.
( «i niii;i;isii. I'' rum a I'anions (Jiher, an Arab,
wlut sc'i^iit ^i^iv the |»hil(»s(»[ihei's stone aiul used various
sen.-eless incantations.
.\i.i;i;i'. A |)ietures(|ue word tVoni the Italian
alVtri*^ — on the mound oc campart. 'I'lie aU-rt nuui is
oiu' who is wide awake and walehrul, like a «;'ood sen-
tinel un duly.
Nici; is said to he derived IVom the Ani^lo-Saxou
hiiese. soft, clVennnate; hut there is L;'(>od reason ('(U*
helieviui:' that it is trom tlie Latin /wsc/'oi/ti, ignorant.
('hau(HT savs. "Wise and nollnn:^ luee."" It is a
curious instanee (d' the i'\t raoi'dinary ehanuesor mean-
ing' which \\(U(ls underlie) that "nice'" sliuuld conu' to
sinuily aceurale, or fastidious, whieii im|»lies knowl-
edge and. taste rather than iL:norance. The e.\|»lana-
lioii is that the dillidenee of iL;noraiice I't'semhies the
fastidious slow iu'>s id' diseernmiMil .
IIi(iti:No'i's comes fioiu IIui:iienot, a small
piece of money whi(di in lheliuu'<d' lluL;'o('apet was
Worth less than a denier. In a tinu> (d' persecution
some lied lhrouj;li fear, whereupon some of their coun-
trymen saiil they were pooi- fidlows not worth a
lluu'iienot — whence tlii' nickname in ([Uestion.
1 ; ■)'< II
'*"%■
'».i:.i.
52
THK <)1)|> MAN AND HIS ODDlTfKS.
Pknsivi. is a pit'turcsinic word {'voiw peiisa^'e. the
\'\V([\w\\{n\\\(.' o^ pe/idere, to \vei,i>li. The Ficiu-li have
pensec, a thought, tlio ivsiilt of iiuMital woiaiiiiiu'. A
])oiisiv{' tiuiii'c is that in which a person ai)[)eai's to l)e
hohlinu' an invisible hahmct' of rc^U'ction.
hiiJi-cii.i:. I^'i'oin the Latin /». antl JtaHbim. a
walking' stick: one who throiiuh inlirniity K'ans upon
a slick.
S\(»iis may he of chissical ori >in. (iei'ive(l from
sine ohoiii, without a penny; the hiti'iier chiss were
caMed "iiohs." that is nohihas. the nobility — the
snobs were sine nohilclate witlioiii any ai'istocratic
blood in ihcir veins.
PoLM'i;. {'"'I'oni the Latin ;>()/f7^/ from tiietlreek
woi'd ^>o//,s. a city, a state. Hence policy, tlu' ,>cienci'
of liovei'iinicnt : politics, the alVaiis of stale, of police.
Iiakcspeafc >av
A poor I'oiziu'
\\ ho Iiilks ;ili()ut ( Durl news — wli()"s ill - who's out —
Who Idsrs niid who wins; iiinl l.ikrs upnii liiniscir
'The inysti'i'V of IhillLi's; lis if lie were licivcii' spv."
II()< is I'ocis is a coi'i'iiplion of Hoc fut ('or/ms,
words once iiscil in iieeroiiiancv or
jnuu'l
erv
IIi:i;n;K-sKi;i,ri;i! coiiirsrroin/<(!7<//'/7tT ef cefcriter,
l^^aily and ipiickly.
I>i r is derived from hf <mt . and usually iiiean-
(>xcept; ihat i- tahc or lra\i'(*^//. In Scotland thi-
word is still used in its primary ineauinii. 'TIm' hut ot
a house means the bc-oiit or outer aparliiieiil, as ben
UM'ans be-in or the inner one.
iV'I'oNI') is derived lloiil the Word* ttt 0lu\ in the
«ense of to au'ree. to unite. Atoiie occurs rre(piently
ODD WOMDS.
5$
mre, the
■lu'h luivo
ciivs to Ih'
haHbnn. w
cans iiix'ii
i-ivnl I'voni
(•l:\ss wi'iv
,l,ilit- -tlu'
ju'isturvutic
,1 the T'TiH^lv
llu> .-.('UMUH'
(>, (iT itolicf.
llo'S ()\ll —
liinsclt'
en' si»y."
vy .
er el! celtriter
i^iially iMr;m.>
Scoiliiii'l tl>i>
.. 'riic />(// nl
I'lmriil. a- ln'ii
; ,rf oiir. ill thf
iirs rri'(HU'ntly
in Sliakc'f^poaiv and in old anthors in this sense, and is
often written at one. ft is als(» nsed in active sense;
that is. to niidvc, or causi' others to be at 09ie, or to
ivrwi,/de; and hence, to reconcik' l)y expiation.
Hence atonement, unity, au'reenient.
(iiArcKH : — "II Ihey were -wroth she would hrint;: iIkmu at ont\
So wise and ripe words luid siie."
Shakis1'|':aui;: — " I would do niueli to atoiie them."
liii iiAUi) III; — "The Kiiin' desires to make dtunnneitl
Belweeii tiie Duke and your l)rolhers, '
I'oNi'ii'i' is a syiKuiyui i'or the I'lipe. Pontitix,
Irtuu which it springs, hore a precisely siniihir sijiuilica-
ti(»n. heiiiL;' applied to tlu' hiuh priest oi' the luvithen
reliu'itui. The word PoiUitf siu'niiies its plain, true
and oriu'iiud acceptation a hridii'*' uitdvcr. Ponteiii
facero siunilies to make a hriduc.
SiKi.diN. This wiu'd <twes its oriijin to Charles
11.. who. in one (d' his merry moods, kniii'hti'd a loin
ul' licef, and hence they say ol' this cut of heel' is
called .s'//'-loin ( sirloin ).
T.Mtni'. This woi'd is deriveil IVdui the town
7hf't'f(i. at the mouth of the Straits (d' ' i ilii'allar.
TariCa was the last slronuhold which the Mooi's held
while they coutndled the |)illar« of Ilei'cides. It was
iieic that a uuuH'y fee was first chai\ii'e(| lor vessels eu-
terin;.^ the Mediterranean, whence the W(ird tarilV.
S'n;i;i,iN«i. .\l)out thctiuu'id' Kichard I. money
coined in the eastern parts of (icrmauy was hrouuht
into lOn^laml and was called casterlinu' uioney. The
KiivTish coin wa.> calleil I'asterlini:, then <'ontracted t(>
sterlin;r.
II! ij{^
I,:.
'II
J4tAT1»)>'1''1'
^^„., i„ „„«. ..l.lo" ti.ue. u-'.U.i
-'■ , /',..,,,.|.'.. I-'" '■''>■ ''''■''■'"
-"■>■ *'"^''- ^-'""' wir: u. ...M< u,. U--.. •." " i-e,.
dc.nnu.a,ouna..,..oM.;-^-. ;;;;;,.,.,.,,,,,,,.n,vi•n.-
Xv.-at,. ,...>■->-. In., :.
^'""-■'' "■ """■ ■ ■ . ,„,nv <o .-.".■a I"'-'-" ""■
.-. ■>'"■•"■;"■;;', \s:::;!;::m. -,,.>■.. "•■•"■""-
''■'■'• Tl,,. w..v.\ alt.n-m'.v is u '-l',. "I'
ArroiiNl-v. 11< ']• ,„.„i,„,„,i„-,iml (.<(/»•■
„„..■.,......,. - ^-•r;'l ■ -!'>'"■'■• ■'■'"-
'"."•"^''-'■'•'''''"'''\ :,4vil. ..■..■unu.,1. •.,,,,-
""'■"•■■;;:::;;;;;:;;;:;: i... -■- --'■■'-
1
1);U>. 'Hi'
i, likr a .-I"'!'"- "' '"" I . .,.,ii„\.aov,..
i>i^'"k. ■•"^' '"'"■' ■,.'a.„u..r«ia...M"- '"
I....U la.nk i- >•■ l-U la.. ■ „, „,,v.- .. M,,nU.
,„,i.-..vivi-ui.'".'ai".a--
ODD WOHDIS.
65
usodto
Icity and
11 a lixed
V!is con-
1 rimes,
(1 ]>y i'ni-
siit1'(M-iui;'
\v;\s not
I tiuitalise.
'CiUlSl' tlu.'
to nivf iio-
n' nt>i>i' oil
•ivlliMl tiiik-
;\ nTu' ol'
i.aiH'tl at the
\\V\\ Tlu'St'
imiual (MiiH-
rt' callrd at-
„.aii> "littl*"
A,M' ><> callc'l
ilian Coliiiii-
lovc.
hitC. llrllCO
kel is ((pciu'.l
(■ paiHT. 'I '>
had drawn a
lavf a l)laiiU,
BoMiiAUD. From the Greek bombus, a Iiuiiiinini^
or hoomiii"' noise, iun\ ardeo, tol)nrn; because, ae-
eordinir to Vossiiis, it throws iron balls, cunisonitu et
fiainma.
]i()MJ5AsiN. From bombox. whieh means a spe-
ei(\< of Avasj) and a hnmminu' noise; afterwards a silk
worm, from its resemblance to a wasp in its urub
state.
Knavi;. This word was formerly used to siaiiify
a servant, or an attendant of the (^nceu or Kin^!'.
Lattkm;. Johnson says, "I have derived this
word from let and eyes\ let eyes, that which lets the
eye.
AFanti,!;. l^'roiii tiic Latin irmntele, a towel or
cloth for wipinu' the hands; a table <'loth : or a loose
uarment, or cloak thrown over the rest of tlu' dress.
Poets sp(>ak of (he sine mantlini:' or sjireadinu' itself,
:»!• a blush, because it spreads or sulVuses itself over
the cheeks.
Mm, TON: — "'riic iHaiilUnfi vine
Tiiiys I'Mi'tli licr |»iii'i)l(' u'l'iipc iiiid ticntly creeps
buxuriMiit."
(lOl.OSMnil: — " Sm'|»rise(l, lie sees new lieiuities rise
Swit'l niiintlinf/ lo tlie view,
biUc colors o'er liie niorninij,' skies,
As hriu'lit Mild triiiisieiit. too."
P(»1'K: — " From plnle to pl;ite your ureedy eye-l);dls roll,
And tile liiiiiii dniiees lo tlic mtiufliuff liowl."
Ileiice iiiantalet, a small mantle of a chimnev or a
foiliricalion.
hAriti;i;. This coin in Scothind and North of
Fiiuland is only a half-penny, ll rcccivccl its name
- ! J,
I ■
mM
H
'.>li iKt
'W'tiS 1
*". 11' 1
vvn ills (H)l>Il"ll"'^-
■niK ODD M^> -^^^^ "
WluMi one <»T tut,
,„„„lH.v«n,ulf-P^'"^'«' ■> ^" ; , .. i,„t this be ealled
" ten he lu.,m\ tUo news. IH ;' ; „
u>beo f,-.m l«>by, '"'-"",' ;:-,te.i,- Heln-e. »-
" .V,,M.vs-.u'. The ^•■-; :^.' tv wove ,o,hW,..vou-
„„,„, „,„1 ,.a"l '.uu'h u .t, ^^^^^^^ ,,„.u.. these
.m...... "hiel. .!';■>■ ,">" ^^^,^,,4 .U-m..,.-..l.t ,u the
r:,u':::-a.>-...es ^,„^
K,y,„. ■!■"''- '™;''' 'Iv hu,; ..... he,v e,eet a
.".^'■'>''- '■'^''''' ""tV leeveve,. ..o,,neeU..l - U
„,i.,,•,^;i^.m.^et^,eU. .u ■„. i-,miu.telv
vnV..!il.' s,>hst,..u.e w,.s -•,,,.,„ ,„.„av knuvvn
.,„„,., ,„,.,.,un,.nn.e.";^^ ,.,.,„ Kuv,-. I'-
..s uHu-iuu. M- -;■;;■'; ^.„,„„. .,hsu„„.es.
"'"'a::::-' 'r''■^^'-"''-•■'-"-
saia to have ^^^'^ ..lUuion i^'on. li^U U. - '
1 Una no .voova ol tlu' a.n
ODD \V(»i;ds.
57
of the
|a large
which,
be called
hrew au-
(l tiStl'OU-
es of the
s>, thef^e
111 in the
vast-heed;
time there
\e> west of
oaiue from
i(.i-(' erected
K'ople rode,
u'cti'd with
^luuiou this
rutil lutclv
,,nly kn(»wii
TV|)t. The
iinccs.
inin of this
this iiiiine to
Kiitilif^li ii>'^'
I diiy from
II lisli to fo(d.
IwvvM Kli/.ii-
i (licre were a
to tlie wood,
coal, ashes, x'liileries. etc. To this smutty st^uad the
name blackiiuard was jiiveii. The name is now applied
to men of dark deeds.
BEVEi{A(iK. l)e:ivei- with us is a name uiven to a
covei'inii' of the head. It conies from the Italian
bevere. to drink. The word had Its oriuin in the prac-
tice <if tlie kniiihts, who used tiieir helmets as drink-
inu' vessels where nior" suitahle cups were not on hand.
Oni' F^nii'lisli word beverage ^.'^ww^i from the same I'oot
and custom.
Proof Simimts. Before the means of determin-
ing' the real (juantity of alcohol were known they eui-
ployed ;i very rude method of ffn-nnuii' a noti(»n of its
sti'eiiuth. A ii'iven (juantity of s[)irits was jtonred
upon a (puuitity of i>unpowdei' in ;i dish and set on
tin'. If it continued (h'y enough it exploded, hut if
it hecame wet with the water in the soirits the flame
went out without setting' the powder on tire. This
was calh'd thi' proof. Spirits which kindled the j)ow-
der was said t(t he caHed proof.
lU'LL. The term hull, in a ixmtitical, is said to
l)e (h'rived from a sort of ornament worn by the younjij
Italian iiohh'men called />j<//of!, a semi-harharous (Jreek
word siLi'uifyinu' seals or siiiuets. 'i'hev were round <m'
the liiiure of a heart, hunu' about their neck like dia-
mond crosses. Those bulloe came afterwards to bo
himu' to the diplomas of emperors and po|)es,
when they iuid the name (»f bulls. To distin-
jiiush them from all minor documents and to mark
their importance seals of solid n'old bullion were at-
tached to them by the popes, henci' the name bulL
""h i-
W Hi ,
58
TIIK ODD 31 AN AND HfS ODDITIH;^.
hi^ ■
1..,
Tho hull civatiiii!,- Hoiirv \'III. "Defender of the
Faitir' had a iiold seal attached to it.
Book. Our Teiitoiiie fathers wrote on wood as
theii' fathers were eoniiuanded to — N^tmhers i7.
Their letters, calendars, records, accounts, etc.,
Avcre written u[)on« wood. The close jri'ained hoc
was the favorite wood u'enerally employed, and hence
came our word hooU.
JiuANDY comes IVom the (lerman hrand-wein.
i. e., burned wine.
Hook on ('hook. There are several plausihlc
explanatiitiis of these words:
1. AN'hei) Str(»n!il)()W was talkinu' with his officers
on the hest way of takinu Ii'cland he said there were
two harhors ncai" W'aterfor*!: one was called Ilook,
the other Crook. 1 h' would take it hv hook oi' hv
crook.
■J. There wi'i'c two judi^'cs one calle(| Ilookc the
otherCi'ooke. These judu'c's always fav(U'e(l the l\in:^'
antl the ])eopIe passecl it into a proverl) "that the Kinu'
could always lid anythiuu' he wauled by llooke or hy
('rooke."
;>. it is (piite certain that the |)hrase dates farther
hack than !(!(')(). ami thev were not derived IVom the
names o
f j.l:
lees or oel'son
Tl
le (H'luin ma\' ne louno
amonu' the incidents of feudal tenure in l''.niiland.
Tenants of lands were allowed to take "lire hote."
that is necessary !'uel. They were restricted to so
much as they couhl take hy "hook ami crook."" The
hook or hill was a scythe-shapeil tool to cut down only
the snuillot tree^di' uudei'hrush. the crook at the end
of ii pole wa* \\<vA for |»nlliiiu down and hreakinu up
ODD WORDS,
59
of the
wood a
^ei'S
i7.
Its, otc.
iiu'd hoc
Jntl hence
\ii(l-\vein.
j)hui>il)h'
his olhcei's
hvvv were
'Ucd Hook,
look or hy
llooke the
(1 the Kin.Li'
id tlu' KiiiLi
looke or l>v
late> fiirtlier
mI fntni the
iiv lie t'oinul
11 Kiiuhnul.
> tire hote."
iricled lo so
■ook."' 'I'll*'
It down only
)k at the end
hreakin.y up
till' (h'y hraiiclu>s ol' trees. By liook IP near at hand:
hy crook if heyoiid tlu'ir reacli.
Spcncei' in ■' J'^irtuiies oi' the Faithful." juihlish-
ed in lo.lO. says, whatsoever is ])leasant or |)rotitahle
must he had liy hook oi- hy crook. Tusser wrote,
" Ot iiiMstivc and iiioniirels that many we sec.
A number ol' tliousiuids too many there he ;
Watch llicrerorc in Lent, to thy sheepe ixo and looke.
For doLis will ha\i' vittals hy hooke and liy cnK)ko."
(" \i,i:ndai;. At Home, tlu^ interest of money was
paid on the Calendx. or first of every month ; and the
hook in which the accounts were kept was called
cxtlendariurn. and hence ;i register of every montli,
the I'oot word is the (ireek kiileo. to call, hecause the
holidays were called out, or proclaimed on the first
day of the montli.
Nt:ws. In former tinu's the practice prevailed of
pultiui:' u|) the initial letters (d' the cardinal points of
the <'om|)ass. thus N. K. W. S. news. im]»iu'linu' or im-
plviiiL; that these |)apers contained intelliu'enci' from
the four (piarters (d* the Lilohe.
Mom:v. 'rii(> ' lirst silver money coined was
.-truck in the temple of •Iiina .Moneta. and it took tlu'
name I'rom the tem|)le.
I'aim'.i; .\i(>\t;>. The Count de Teudilla while
heseiu'cd hy the Moors, in the fortri'ss of Alamhra,
was (le>iiiuie of Li'old and .-ilver. and much niurmurinff
prcvaileil: this saLi'acioiis commander took a ninnher of
slips id' paper, inscrihed various sums laru'c and small
and siiiiied tln-ni with his own name. Tluv-e were
taken and used as money. This happened in I4'S4,
ami wa> the tirsi paper money on record.
"'I '
!li
tU)
rniK ODD MA^ ^^'* "
(llAPTEU IV.
1 • ,1' (lod in tlie cono-rotiivtiou
., HiM>eoi>l- ---^^^^ Xt.'t iW iu v.ln ; ana
1 1 .ivi> all "I >i"' '^
,,,iu.,um,s,.uH.,u...v.'N.'"l.'V'" ,.,„„„ „-,,„.„.,v
■i-.'""'""""- "'■ "T "'"n V.lt us of a Uli^l'l.""'
f„U ..r wit .u,.l vvi-'""- " ;i,„ |„,,v r..r 1...1.M
.v,..„tl„.,-. his , P'" -"■'■'"^ , „\„o lus. fn.-l-
l.'■.^"■.^^..■'-.•>-■-;';t;;; ';;::M..■>il■..>".■M.-■.-
UM.!.-..'"'-'"''-''"-''""' ,;,,,,. in: .i-, -ml., ■■
,..,,,,,VnM.in.na-l..vH;;. '■,,,,,,,,,.
....1 .... ^1'-' ''"• ''"■''\'' ,!• 1-' '•-'•' l-'^^^^^^^^^
f,„. „.,uU' w.-,ul...i'. v.' " i',';'>
.,Us. i.n.l liiiily 'l...'.'-'''-
01>1) SAVINGS <>l" MKN.
61
llii'V(\Li'clU01l
Iditios ami
vain ; ar.'l
he liclds ol
'staiit faitli
(,■ whicli '111
ts [>ri'at'luM>.
sayiiiiLi'"* ill"'
A'V. ruruishi'.-
11< lis. not tn
show us tht
irn \vh(» wi'iT
' a Uiu'hhinil
av fo\' hcttiT
iiiu- time to hf
hist tinu' he
V. His prayer
ion to present :
o' it, yi' ken.
i; just send n-
save tile straw
1 lis a tearin.
lime 1 prayeti
sc'hicf witli tin
Anotiu'ielei'uyman oiiee prayini: for rain I'litreateil
the Lord to uncork the hotth's of heaven ami to send
dowu ret'resliinu' .-liowers. Tlie droiio-ht liad lasteil a
lorn;' time. The rain eommeneed witli Li'reat violence
on Tneschiy. and continued until Fri(hiy. then com-
menced a^ain on Sahhath and rained heavily. When
the minister prayed auain. sayinji', ••() Lord we re-
cently took occasion to I'litrea.t thee to uncork the hottles
of heaven and send us i-elTeshiiii:' showt'r>; hut w<' <lid
not mean that the corks should he thrown away.""
I'arson Howe, on a similai'occasion said in prayer.
<) Lord we want rain very much: the rye is siiiVei'inu,"
prodigiously; of corn we shall not have half a crop; as
for j)otatoes and turnips it is all .ujt with them; and the
uras> in Deacon Comstock's lawn is as red as a l'ox"s
tail.
.\ jiious l^lder was called lo pray after a hattle
had oeeii foiiuht. said thus. () Lord. 1 never ^v(h\ such
•A day as veslei'day; and 1 doiTt helieve you ever did.
We are unahle to account for the e\tra(»rdinary
doiiiii's and sayings of those men. See Hev. ^^'il(l in
1()(')2 \'icar of Almo. who is rcmemhei'eil for doinu' a
very uood thiiiu' in a vei'y odd way. IK' pi'esented six
hihies to a churcli in his native town. St. Ives, for
twelve pei'-oiis were lo ca>t dice in the chui'ch. There
were to he six mahv- and six femalo. The dice were
to he thrown on Whitsunday while the minister knelt
and [)rayed, that (iod would direct the dice t<» his
ii'lory.
Memhers of committee, waitinu' for ;i (piorum, he-
,U'uiled the time hy ri'Iatinu a story from Max O'lvell's
"Sandy Macdoiiald." Tlii< was cappeil hy another
ft-r .w jji ^ w-gasgy --"
. MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
IIIK ol'l' ^'^^
' .1 «■,■ '
•IM
6-i
, , , .,„ ,,ia Scutch minisU-r. He wa-
to cool th. atiuusplunv - _• ^^ ,vin.low,au.l
little i>uiT<>i---^-;;:;^^^.,Htte,^.nn
.eattcMva tlu- leave-, oi ^^^ ^'^ ^u. .uiui.ter ex-
nitMUlH'l ^aHl
,„-„.. lu all .iTi..«^m-ss.
l„tl..'«.-l lluu. l.^ .1 „„,„:,,,, ,,11 Imnl ,..«■..
iw„v..,-. 'nu. r..i,.T an . - ; ,„.„ ,„• ,,„.,.
,,„„1,. .„„k-. «...«=<- <l'" - ,„ ,,v with .1..
v,„i,..,- r,„'Uv,i,M. »;':••'',,,,„ ,',,1,1 «„y. ■■"
l.,„-,l».. ihui.U lU' ' ,. „, „,,y \1„.
,„,,,,,..,,, ,.,,,.l...n.k..lK>U,,U. ^^^_^^^ I ^^,_^_,,,,,,
,„.„„l„n,uWM-ak..."ln. .). ■ ^ ^^,,, ,„^„,. ,.„,
W,,,,., Uin.i "f -■'''' ''"'tul ■'"■■,,,. llH' IWav,..'
'■'""■"• '" '"'"■"""";■■ <,.„„.„ Ui.l.lan,!-- in .i.no.
H..V. M.. 'V :;;•■; ■; ,„„„.,. 11.1 .V,.n,
••'■'"■'■^'■'■"'''T ; ,l.;nintl,.irir,,l,..an,Un-uy...
i i
Ui>I» !SAVI>"«,S OF .MEN.
63
He \v;i-
(lay. whcMi
iK'thougui
SOUR' win' I
lis kneerj a
riii<l»>w,iui<i
ion all over
minister ex-
Anollier
qies^? Aii-
tlu' luuiie (if
II hiinl eases.
llU'll of ( «0(l,
H-eiMitrie. It
IS liilten l)y M
r tlyinu', l^'^'-
,niy witli tb>-
III way. •■ **
V iliaiiU 'V\\r^
we pray Th' <
Lord send tie
. old luaii; t'of
in' I he lieaver
liider ill time-
luM-s tied from
lit. and praye'l
s, •• Twine tlu'in
p of thy (doak
lul we willkeoi-
iu reiuenibranec. and tell it to tlie eoiinnendation of
tliy goodness, ])ity and compassion, what thou didst
for ns al sneh a time."
An agt'd minister was pi'aying at the opcninu' of
the General Assemhly. In \i\\s King -James VI.
aft(M'wards James I. ol' Kngland — pnhlislicd his •'hook
of sports," and eonnnandcil that eertain of them,
whieh he >aid were lawfnl to he ohservecl, should be
|)laved in the sev<'ral ehiirehvanis everv Simihiv at the
It. lit
c\ose of the service. Dr. Kogei's says: .John Ivoss,
minister of Blairgowrie, adojttt'd a novel method of
withstanding the Koyal ordinance. lie was a strong
athletic man and seemed much interested in the recrea-
tion enjoyed l»y the M(»narch. Football w:is selected
by the jjarislKuicrs of I>lairgo\\ ''ie fi'om the list of Sun-
day games. When tln' .-ci'viees (d' the church were
completed. Mr. Koss appeared among his people iu the
churchyai'd. and at once ])roceeded to join them in their
gport. Tlirowing his coat on a tombstoiu' he said,
" l,i(' ye there.
.Minister o' Hlaii',
Till I, John lioss.
(Jet a game at the ha."
None of the assemblage kicked uuwo e.agerly at
the football than did the reverend ineiiml»ent. But
constant misfortune seemeil to attemi him; for every
kick missed the ball and fell heavily on the iuiclcs of
those who stood near. Apologies were ju'omptly ten-
dered, and of course I'eadily accepted; though every
Sunday many of tlu' phiyers returned home halting.
At length it was unanimously agreed that, on account
Tri-itirnfir"ir-if~rr - ' — '^' — ■
ii
III Nuiij,
"I i<*
''ii ii«
-I Ii, ;
:lt|i'^:!|:
M
::.ii.: ■'
•64
TIIK (H»I) MAX AXD UIS ODDITIKS.
of the minister's jiwkwai'dnoss the gaines should hv
al)aiuh)iR'(l. This was tlie eiid (U'sirod by the inueniou-
<liviiie.
Dr. Hiiiih rdaii". the eeh'hi'ated rhetorician and hi-
eolh>a_une. Dr. Walker were respectfully the most eh*
([Uent exponents of the theori(>s of works and uiaee a-
the essential doctrines oi' Christianity. One Sunday
Dr. i*)laii\ warniinii' in his presentation of his favoriti
theme, tiius apostrophized virtue: "() virtue, if thui;
wert (Muhodied all nun would hive thee? "'
Dr. \\'alker. in the afternoon in the coui'se of hi-
sci'Mion rejoinedas follows; " N'irtuc ha>l)('eii endxMlicil
Did all men love hci? No: slic was despiscil und re
jccted of men. who. after dcl'aminu' her. insulting' anil
scoui'L:inu: iici' led. her to calvary, where they crucilied
her between two thieves."
dames Oliphaiil had a curious habit of makim:
runniuL;' comments in a low tone of voice. Here an
-peeimeus of his pulpit note-, ileadim:' of the swiin
ru-^hiiiL;' into the >ea. he muttered. ■•()lithal tliede\il
had been choked too 1 "' KeadiiiL; Peter's remark . ••\N'<
have left all and followed thee," he said (pnetlv. A\'
boastin" Peter, aye braLiiiiu' what had yon to lca\e
but an old crazy boat and twa or three rotten nets?
The Scotch. a< a ride. didlL" "(inewords. •• l-'iiii'
worcU butter no parsiMps, i-. witii them, a fa\oritr
l>roverl>.
<)i
le ol the clerM'Ninen who often used
" dictionary words '" \\a.~ wait 'I upo'i by a dcjmtatioii
ami asked, when he iiM'd unfamiliar expression^ in tin
pulpit to slop and cxi>lain them. The dry humoi' of
this advice met a litliuu reward. ( )n the m'xl Sun<lay
he cham'cd to use the word hyperbole. He at ouc'
should he
inti'ouiou-
;iii and In-
most I'lo
id i>'i'ii('C a-
\\v Siindiiy
lis I'avoriti
lU', ii" thoi;
niirsc ol' lii-
('iul)odi('d
isf'd and re
isullinii' am!
lev cnu'ii'u'd
I (if makim;
lliTc ai'
of the sw'ni'
hat thi' (h'vil
.'HuirU, *■ ^Vl
(|ni('tly. Ay
Vdii to h'avc.
ottcn nets?
Kirds. " l*'ini'
III, a ravoi'itr
i» ol'icn nst'd
a (h'pntalion
rcs.-ioii'' in the
(h'v hmuor ol
m'xl Sunday
lie at oUC'
ODD SAYINGS <»K MEN.
65
slopped and added. As ajiircd on, I now hvg leave to
(jjive an apt illustration of this term. Were I to say
at this moment that the nhole of my eon<>rei«ation
Avere sound aslee|), thiscertaiidy would hean hyperhole;
hut if 1 say at this moment that one half are in this
abjeet ('(.udition, this would not he a hyperbole, hutthe
truth.""
Talkinu' alxmt •• line phrases,"" i-eealls am)thei'
^toi'v of a ch-ruymaii who had a loudness for lonu'
words; and undertook to instruct one of his church
officers ill I lie use of them. One niuiit as (hey were
aiioiii lo leave the vestry, .lolin askeil iheminister if he
sjiouid put out tile candles! "say cxtinu'uish,"" an-
swered the cleriiymen. and not "|Hitout.'" "An.""
said dohn. " doesextinuiiish always stam'l for put out?"
".\lways."" replied the minister. 'IMie next Sunday
it happened t4iai a doi: harkt'd in ihechundi. John at
once rose in his seat, and solemnly uave the order: —
"Someone will please exlinL'uish that dot«'."
.loliii IJrowii of lladdiniiton was the author of
several works on 'I'heidouy. lie courted a lady up-
wards of six years. lie was so singularly modest and
l)ashful that he had never ventured to kiss lu'r. ()iie
day it occiiri'ed him that it wdiild not he a had thinii'
to d(». So he said, ".laiu't. ma W(mian, wt'"ve been
ac(|uainted now forsix.an." an," I nevt'r not a kiss yet.
D'ye think I may take one. m\ boiinie liiss?" The
reply was wonderfully characteristic of the Scottish
maiden. "»Jist as ye like, dolin," said she, "only be
becomin' and prop*'r we" it."" " Surely, Janet,"' said
John. "Wellask a blessin."' The blessing- was asked,
.and the kiss evchanii'cd. "() woman," said the en-
"ill!-**,,
V. ■ \l
.. MVN AND "l^ ODDITIK^-
TIIK C)1>1> ^l^^^ ^
• Aiov "(> \v(»nuin,but it
Kn.t--> ''>>'-'•'" ''''^'"VSr- u,.ui,ov ,.-,,1 .0.
„f t|„. Kivk. ...■■ «i."l "I ^« • ,„„j,,.,,s,.tin.. t«
.,a„... ,,u,..a . i.v,o .uu, ^^^^ „, ,„„,
•,,U».so,.m.l<"m'll^'l. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, nl
, ,,„ vo., r.ir -,nuu . ^^, ..
,.,„,so ynu Uy .K,mM. I w ^^^^^^^
-> \''--^'''''^r:u;:!nu,,.«.v,,Mi,y.'"-
i
lUO
Yowr
Jll'Xt
V "
I Nvill
v\»n
ll»c \v!vy t>i
w
\u'n tUovi
4Kilt cnhiriiv \\v
lu'iut,
you
l)ivvi«
\. ^vi' i''>»>
Id ul
n\ii U!< vvc
N„ thiu\U?* to
with such
us v«»i»
Ml
WUf
l.lo(|\ltM>l JVS W
I'll lis (lUi
villi.
xh\\ the t»iH>st r
.rut'.ition
oi
tlu' notion of lilH'Vty m
t'HUii
litv, us Kmiu'o I
)l'(U
luinu'tl it if
louiul in a r(
to 11 <
U'\>ntivtion
I'n.iii his iM'oj
,\(. uslvin^ lii^ views (Ui
l»roh-
n\
ply
thi'
i[yv
'stion.
He suia to thorn, My I'vumu
Ih, I luul II oiill
"I
il
ii
'JWjm0^"
AN E<2UAL1TY.
67
lit It
:\ii
hotit
l-
l-inint
[tioii to
short
i, and
in tlu'
Ivc ; Itul
liiiiiii-^tiT
art. this
von. hut
i/aiii, \'\\
Psahu a^
tl
\v com-
rl
Il(
tlOM,
I
)M? Wlu»t
'oiniiiaixl-
Wliat is
UnhlU'lltH,
thanks to
with such
It. Troh.
ihiM'tv and
ply
tlic
had a call
n a r(
;WH oil
1
troiii some of you the other day, desiring' to know my
opinion on liherty and eciuality, I now t'nitill my
promise, since your visit I have traveled in spii-it over
the universe, and I shall just tell you what I have seen
in my travels.
. I hav(> traveled over the earth, its fro/en and
huriunij: /'OIK'S, mountains and valleys, moist places
iiiMl (lr\-
I'ertil
(> lands and sand\' desei'ts. am
I I I
lave
-een men and children, hiuand little, stronu' and weak.
■B wise and ii'iiorant, yoodand had, |)ow( rl'ul and helpless,
rieh and po(»r. ?>'o e(piality Ihere.
I 1iave traveled thrnni:li the sea, its depths and
shoals, rocks and sand l)aid<s. whirlpools and e(ldit!s ;
f I have found nKtnstei's and worms, whales and heri'lnij;'.
-harks and shrimps, mackerel and s|)rats. the strong
ilevouring the weak, the hi^' swallowini:' the little. No
(■(piality there.
1 have ascended to heaven with its u'leater and
le>ser lights, suns and satellites: and I have round
thrones and dominions, principalities and |)owers.
aiiLi'els and aridianu'cls, clu-ruhim and seraphim. No
(■(pnilily there.
I have decended into Indl. and there I have fouiid
l>eel/,(d»ul>, the |)rince oI'devilsaiKl his grim councillors.
M(doch and lielial, lyrani/ing over the other devils
and all of them ovi'r the souls of wicked men. No
eipudily thei'e.
This is what I have seen in my travels, and I think
I have traveled far enough: 11' any of you wish to
search for yourselves you need not travel the road 1
have taken, you will not find what you want on earth,
'tr in the sea, lu'ither in Heaven nor in Hell. I have
•!%
TT
1 i"*1'ii
II! '2*!
rM
«:•
11 1:1
i'}^
Tin; ()l)l> MAN AM) HIS odditiks.
<>iven you my ox[)eri(MR'o, it rests with you to make ii
proper use ol' it.
AN ODD l'l!AYi:i!. •
A Viraiiiiii slave, wlio liad heard of th(> President's
j>r()mis(' coiiccriiiuu' the proehimatiou to lie issued, on
the 1st of January, tiien only a f(>\v days in the future,
was heard pi-ayinu'. and with ureat earnestness, and a
deeply alfeeted heart, thus. '• () (lod almighty! keep
tlu> I'uu'ine of the I'chellion u'oinu till Nt'w Years!
(Jood LordI |)ray don't U't olf the steam I Lord, don't
reverse the enuiiu'! (km t hack up! I^ord, don't put on
the hrakes! But pi'ay,_u()od Lord, put on more steam!
.Make it a mile a nnnutel yes Lord, pray make it u'o
sixty nnk's an hour. Amen! Do udod Lord! resjxdid.^
the hrethi'en and sisters. " Lord don't let the express
train of rchcHion siuash up till the lirst of flanuary.
Don't h't the rehclshreak down hut hai'deii their hearts
as hard as IMiaiaohs. and help all hands -iijiug until the
train reaches tlu' (U'pot of emancipation.
soi.DiKi; wir.
The colonel of an .Mahama rcizimcnt was famous
foi' havinu' everythiim' done up in militaiT style, once,
while Held otticer of the day and u'oinu' his r(uiuds ol'
inspection, he came on a sentinel from the Lleventh
Mississippi reiiiuu-nl sitlinu' down at his post, with hi>
U'un taken entirely to pieces, when the followinn'
dialou'ue took place. Coloiul. " Don't yon know that
H sentinel whih' on duly should always keep on his
leet?" Sentinel without lookiiiu' up. "That's the way
we used to do when the war first heuan ; hut that's
NO I'HriT i;ati:k.
(•»<)■
^ I
1)11
jdayod out Ion;;' atio." Coloiu'l, (l)euiiiiiiiit>' to tloiiht
ii' the lium was on duty) " Aivyou tlio sentinel hero?'
Sentinel, "Well, I'm sort of sentinel." Colonel,
•• Well I'm a sort of otHcei- of the day." Sentinel,
'* Well, if you'll hold on till I sort of uet my <!un
tou'ether, I'll uive you a sort of salute,"
A i)o|tular AuLi'liean ministei- residint;- in (Jiasuow,
\vhil(^ on a visit to that city, in a reply to an invitation
to partake of some fruit, said that he had never in his
life tasted an a)t|)le, pear, urape or any kind of ureeii
fruit, A cautious Scotch man, of a practical turn (d'
mind, dryly remarked: " It's a peety hut you had
lieen in Paradise, and there nnuht na hae heen ony
faa."
Hapi)eninii' to call on a n<'iuhl)oi\ I asked after
the children of a pi'rson who lived close hy, she re-
plied. ••There no hame yet — ^aed awa to the Kniilish
church to act a clap o" the heid."" Ii was confirma-
tion day.
.\n (dd lady ol' laru'c proportions, and had n\any
aihnenls. which slu' Itore cheerfully and patiently.
When asked one day Ity a friend how she was. "Oh
just nuddlin;^'; there's owcr nuickic o" me to he a" weed
at a time."
«
.\ hoalsnnni called l$oatii' of Deeside had heen
lu'arly lost in a scpiail. and saved oidy after areat ex-
erti(»n. was told hy his aunt that he shoidd he very
,!.:ratid'ul to Providence for his safety. The man. not
nu-aidny to lu' unuratid'ul. hut viewing his preservation
in the purely nnitter-ofd'act li.uht quietly answered.
Weel. we(d. Mrs. IJussell: rrovideiice here, or Provi-
"•t
1
»»(
tirl
...j
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t';
70
Tin; ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
♦4
I' Pit
(leiu'o tluMV, nil 1 had iiM worked siui' inyscli'. I lind
l)0(Mi drowiu'd.
Altout as cool " aside '"as 1 know was that of an
old (U'aler who was exhortinti his son to ])ra('tise
honesty in his dealing's on the iiroiind of its beiiiLi' the
'• host policy," (inietly added. " I hae tried haith."*
A Scotch |)i|)er was jiassinu' thronuh a deej) I'orest.
in tlu' evening' he sat down to eat his supper, when a
niiinher of hiiiiu'iy w(dves made tlieii' a|»pearance. In
<eit' del'ence lie l)e<::m to throw pieces n\' his vicHiais to
them, wliich they u'l'eeiliiy devoured. In a fit ol' <ie-
spair he took hi> pipes and heLian to play. The nniisnal
sonnd teriilied the wolves, which look tollicir heels,
Sandy tpiietly said. ••<>d. aii I'd kcniicd ye likct the
pipes sac wcel. IM a L^ieii ye a spi'in;:' afore sapper.""
1 don't know a iietter example of sly <arcasni than
the I'ollowini; an.-wer of a Scottish servant to his en-
raged master. A \\( IKknowii <-oar.-e and aluisivc law
fnnctionary \\a> dri\in!j on his Lironnds. was shaken
hy his carriaiK sti'ikiiiii' a stone at the Liate. lie was
\-ery aniiry. and ordei'cd the ^atekeeijcr In lia\e it re-
moNcd I X Tore his relni'n; on conunu- home the -hock
was >till more se\-ere. the an;iiy man roared ont ■• von
rascal, if yon don"t send that heastly stone to h I'll
l)reak yonrhead."" ••.Well."" said the man (piietlv.
and without nicaninv!' anythinL; irreverent . " aihlinsnin
it were sent to heaven it wad he more out of voiir lord-
shi|)"s way."
Ivev. I'atrick Siev,art one Snnday t(Mik lo the
|)nlpil a sermon wilhonl lookinu at the lir>t lew pau'es.
as he rose to commence his sermon, he said. " Mv
hrelhren. I liiid (hat the mice have made Tree with the
I
}
I
a
s
A j)YiN(; i;ri( ri;i:.
71
■•i
«('
ic
si.
I a
III
to
le-
iial
1.4
I
be^iimint;' of my si'i'iiioii. so that I cannot tell you
wluiiir the text is ; hut we will just \)v</\\i whaiir the
jiiice have left ott". and \V(>"11 lind the text as we '^-o
iilong."
An old hatelu'lor. a minister, on entering:' the
pulpit one <lay. lound that he IkuI toruotteii his sermon.
He aeeoi'diiiLi'ly stood up in the pulpit and thus accosted
his faithful domestie. Annie: 1 say Annie, we're eom-
niitted a mistahe the day. you maun jist iianu' your
waa's haiiio. and ye"ll L:(t my sci'iiiou (Uit of '" the
l)reek-|)oueli."" an wee"! sinu to the praise o" the Lord
till ye eonic l)aek. Annie, of course. .U once cxecutcil
her im|)ortanl commi,~-ion and lirou.iht the sermon out
of the breid^-pouch. uiid the >er\ iee was coiupleieil.
Di;. r>Y!;(»\i . on pri'achimr.
" Tile specious -^eniioiis of ;i leiii'iied man
Are litlle else than liaslies in 'lie pan.
Tile mere luirami;:iiii!' (Upon wlial ilie,\ call
.Moi'aiit V ) i-< powilei' witheul liall;
l)Ul lie wlio pi'eaclies wiiii a Clirisliaii n'l'acc,
Fires al our vices, and the sliot lakes place. "
AN i;i'i(i i;i: miNc
" .\\ ieiiLi'tli. mv Irielids, the I'easl of lil'e is o'er .
I've ale siillicieiit— ami I'll drill!'; no more,
My iiiLiiit is come : I've spent a Jo\ial day :
'I'is lime lo pail : Inil ()! what is id pay?"
.\ sermon preached hy an idd miiii.-Ier lo three
liiu'lnvayiiieii who had roi)l)ed him siiid lour i:enllcinen;
hilt he heiiiicd \-eiy lianl f(U' a litlle money, tind llu'V
" heiiiu' li'enerous fellows"" L!ii\c him all his money hiud;
au'aiii on comlilioii of his preachiiiLi iheiii a sermon.
So laUinu' them oiV the hiuhwav he >aid : •■(leiille-
T
i„#^
If: , . I
' fit
•I'
72
THE OI)l> MAN AM) HIS (H)I)ITIE«.
men, you arc the most like the old apostlos of any men
in the world, for they were wanderers njxtn the earth,,
and so are you; they had UiMther lands nor tenenients
that tiiey eonld call their own, iu>ither, as I presume,
have you; they were despised of all hut those of their
own profession, and so. 1 helieve, are you; they were
unalterahly fixed in the principles they professed, and
I dare say so arc you; they wme often hurried into
jails and [)risons, were persecuted hy the [)eople, and.
endured ureat hardships — all of which sutVerin<rs, I pre-
sume, have been mideriione by you; their profession
brouirht them all t<t untimely deaths, and if you con-
tinue in your course, so will y(»ui's brinti' you. lint in
this point, beloved, you dilVt'r miyhtily ; f(M" thea[)ostles
asi'i'uded from tiu' tree into heaven, where. 1 am afraid,
you will never conu^; but as theii' deaths were compi'U-
sated with etei'ual u'lory. yours will be rewarded with
eternal shame and misei'y, unless you mend your
manners."
\ IIAI'I'V (OMSI'M.MATION.
At Christ's church, on Kasfer Sunday, the min-
ister aiuiouneed that the otfertory would be applied to
reducing: the debt cm the church. Durinu' the siuuiuu'
of the anthem, while tlu' collection was beinu' taken
up, the tenor, who was a (Jerman, had a solo in which
occurred the words: "And the dead shall be raised."
He succeeded in elcctrifyinti,' thecoiiiirefxation by ^ivin <i-
out at the top of his voice, " I'nd /,e debt shall be
I
ra
ised in ze twhinkliny of an eve
■m
riii: lONcri;.
!TN(ii:NT riM \( IIIN(i,
73
All old iiiiin. hc'mu' asked Iiis ()]>ini()ii of a certain
>enuoii, replied, I liked it very widl, exeept that there
was no piiu'h to it. I always like to have a pinch to
evei'v sermon. I was reminded of this anecdote by the
I'emark of a son of Tseptnne from Nantucket, whom I
met in tlu> uailery of a crowded church last Sabbath
cvcninii'. He said, " It was a handsome sermon, but
he would have liked it better if it had struck the har-
poon into the conscience oi' the sinner."
riii; TOM in:.
" Tlic lioiiclcss toiiiiuc. so small ;ni(l weak.
Can (Tusli and kill," dct'lai'cil llic (ircck.
" Tilt' toiiiiHc destroys a iiT(,'atcr horde,"
Tiic Turk asserts, " than do(;s the sword,"
The Persian [trovcrh wisely saitii:
" A leniitliy tongue an early death."
Or sometimes takes this I'orni instead ;
•■ Don't let your toniiue cut otV your head."
"The tonu'ue can speak a word whose speed,"
Says t lie Chinese, ••oulstrii)s the steed."
While Aral) sa.ii'es this impart :
■■ The touii'ue's ureal storehouse is the heart."
From Hebrew wit this maxim spruni;' : ^
•' Thouuii feet sliould slip, ne'er let the tunguo."
The sacred writer crowns the whole :
" Who keeps liis tonirue doth keep his soul,"
liKV. Mi{. SiMMKUi'iKM). — It is recorded of tho
late Mr. Summertiehl tluU beinn asked by ii bishop
where he was born, he replied, "1 was born in Eng-
1'
A
n
I 91 -i
rili: ODD MAN AND III« ODDITIKS.
land, and horn auain in Ireland." What do you mean?
said the hisho}*? ''Art thou a nuiriter in I(«rael, and
kuowest not these thinii's," was the i'e])ly.
IvoWLAND I III, I,. — The secret of liis succe.ss in
preaching' lay in his keeping;' close to nature : for what
afVeeted his own heart, used to atfeet the hearts of
others. Slieridan used to say of him. I <z'o to hear
Rowland Hill hecaiise his ideas eonie red-hot Ironi liis
heart : on oui' occasion. Dr. Milner. the dean of
Carlisle, was so wrought u])Oi) hy the sim'iuou. that he
went to him. and said. " Mr. Hill. Mi'. Hill. I felt to-
day : "lis this sla[»-dash pi'enchiiii:'. say what they will,
t lial docs all the ^0(»(1." "
Notices on slij)s (d' ))ai)cr were ]»crj)et ually |)lacc(|
ill Mr. llilTs hands as he entered the pulpit. .\ii im-
pudent felliiw phuH'd a notice on the readiu*:' desk, just
itefore he was to read prayers. lie lnok it. and heu'aii
readinii it aliMid to rim cou_i>'re_i!iitioii. The pra\'ers of
this coiiLii'i'^atioii are desirecl-- nmpli — for — um])h —
well. 1 si!pp(ts(> I must finish what I ha\-c heuuii — for
the llev. Kowlaiid Hill, that he will not eo ridiiiu' ahotit
ill his carriaLiH' on a Sunday ! This would have diseon-
certed almost any other man : htil he looked up as
cooly as jiossihie. and said. ■• If the writer (d' this piece
of folly and impertinence is in the c(»iuzreLiation. ami
will iid ijito the vestry after service, and let me put a
saddle on his hack. I will ride him home instead of
ii(»iiit;' in my carria,i.;'e." He then went on with the
services as if nothinu' had haj»i)ened. — JJ/e by Sidney.
I
to
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to
W
St I
Ol
III
h<
1
ii
i
SIIAIM' I'ool.s.
rxirAM.ow r.i) ( i kiosiiv.
(•)
When Auti'ustinc was oiicr asked, what (n»(l wa-
(l(un_u' hefoi'i' creation, he answcind. •• Ptcparinj;' Hell
i'(»r impertinent ([nerists." Lutliei was wont to pray
thus. From a vain, u'lorions doctor, from a contenti-iu-
pastor, and from unpi'oHtaMc vuestions. the izood Lord
deliver his churcli.
\VmTi;ni:Li». The late .Mr. Whitelield in a ser-
mon he ])reache(l at Ilawitrtli I'or .Mr. (irimshaw lia\'-
in<:' spoken severely of those professors of the ^dspcl
who. hy their loose and evil conduct, caused tlic way-
of trnth to he evil spoken of. intimated Ins ho|ie. that
it was not neee>sar\- to enlarLic much upon that pojut
to the couLireuatiiui l)el'ore him. who had so loni;cn-
joyed the henehl nf an ahleaml j'aithfnl preacdur. and
he was williuL;- lo helievt' that their jU'olitiuu appeai'eil
to all nuMi. This i'ou>ed .Mr. (iriui>haw"s .-piiit. and
notwithstandim: tiie Lii'ea.t re;^ai(l he had for the
preacher, he stoo(| up and interrupted him, -ayini:.
with a loud voice. "' ( )li sir I for (lod"> sal^c il" not
spi'ak so: 1 pra\ . vou di> not llattcr them ; 1 fear the
iireatcr part ol' llieui aie izoiui.' to hell with their eves
open.""
l'i;i!s-i;\i:i;.\N(i;.--Two colore<l men who had heen
to hear an el(K)Uent discourse, were convi'rsiiiL;' ahout it,
when one of them remarked " that he could not under-
stand,"* The other replic(l that he understood all Imt
(Uie W()r<l. " What dat?"" •' rer>ewerance I "" " Oh,
me tell yon what dat nu'ans. it means, takeriu'ht hold,
hold fast, ham:' on. ami no let u'o."
;*■ 'f;
i#ri|
7.6
Tin: oDIl^MAN AND Ills ODDITIKS.
Ki:v. Rowland HiM.oftoii ivpontod of a favorite
siuthor: Mr. Bijrotrv foil and broke his Icu' ; would
that he had hrokoii liis neck !
"A MAN AND Ills SIIOKS."
How iniu'li ji niiiii is like old shoes I
For instance, both a soul may lose.
Botli have been tanncid, and both iwc made tight
!)>• cobblers, and both get left and right.
Hoth need a mate to bo complete,
And both are made to go on feet.
IJotli need healing and botli grow old,
And both in time will turn to mould.
^Vitll shoes the last is lirst, witii men
The lirst shall be last, and Avhen
Shoi'S wea>' out, they're mended new.
When men wear out they're men — dead too.
They both arc trod upon, and botii
Tread on others nothing loth.
Both have their ties, and both incline ■
When polished in the Avorld to shine.
They both ])eg out. 80 would you choose
To be a man or l)e his shoes?
Havnks. — When a r(>vival of religion was in i)ro-
•iress in his parish, and Satan uave intimations of
dissatisfaction, (as he is wont to (\o at such times) some
of his sttulents. havinu' l)een slandered for their zeal
and activity, nuide their complaints to him of what
they had suffered, and expi'cted his syin])athy ami pro-
tection. .\fter a i)aiise, Mr. Ilaynes observed, " 1
knew all this before." " Why, then," said (Hie, "did
yon not inform us?" " Because," sjiid he, " It was
not worth communicating^ ; and I tell yon plainly, and
oiu'c f(M'all, liiy yonnji' friends, it is best to let the devil
carry his own uuiil and bear its ex|)enses."
;* -m
Tin; rsi; oi- timk.
I I
'' Tin: Dkvii. is I)i:ai)." — It i- sii<l that sonic
time after the [)iihliejitioii of Mr. Ilayiie's si-niKtii nn
the text, '"Thou shnlt ii(»t surely die."" two r('ckh's>
young" men havinu- agreed together to try his wit, one
of them said to Fatiier Hayiies. " Have you hi-artl t!ie
good news?" "• Xo." said he. •• What is it?" •' It
is great news," ''indeed/' ,-aidthe other. •■ :ind if ti'ue
your business is over." '• What is it." again iu(inired
Mr. Haynes. " ^^'hy." said the other. '• the <K'vil is
dead." In a moment tlie ohl gentleman replied, "oil.
|)oor fatiierless ehihiren wliat will heeome of yon ? "
rin; rsi: oi' timi:.
The celehrated Lord ("oke wrote the subjoined
distieh which he slrictl\ observed, in the distribntiiui
(tf time ; —
" Six hours to sleep — to Ifiw 's grave study six,
Four spend in prayer— tlic rest to nature tix."
But Sir William .loiu's, a w iser economist of the
fleeting hours of life, mended the sentiment in the fol-
lowing lines :-
"Seven lioinvs to law — to soothing slunil)erseven,
Ten to llie world, allot— and all to heaven "
Dr. Rush onee aske<l Mr. Morris how he liUcil a
Kermon that wa^ much talked otV. " Why, (h)etor,"
said he, " I did not like it all. it is too snn)otli ami
tame for me." " Mr. Morris," said the (h)ctor,
" what sort of sermon do you like?" " I like, sir,"
replied Mr. Morris, " that preaching wliieh drives me
up into the corner of the pew, and makes me think the
ilevil is after me."
i-~ia«%i¥vm.':Vt« V
L'#
78
rilK ODD MAX AND HIS ODDITIKS.
WHAT IS A COHNSTALK .''
lii
W'liiit is this (Jod iil)oiil whom you have been stiy-
iiiii so imu'li ? said an iinhcliovoi- to a pivaclier, at'tor
hiarinu a discourse about (red. ''(lod is a spirit,"
replied (he ))iva('her. Wliat is a spirit I asked the
sceptic. Horc'cly. What is a cornstalk? rejoined the
preacher. Why. why, a cornstalk is a cornstalk. Ves
sir. said the pi'eiU'hcr. a spirit is a spii-it ; and it' you
laiinot tell nie what a cornstalk is, whi(d) you have
>een a thousand times, and know ha^ an existciu'c,
why do yon tisk me to tell you what the Inliuite spii'it
is. or why do you doid»t his exisieiu'e?
The skeptic was linnb. as all unbtdievei's are, ami
will, when they staiul to be judged by that (Jod whoM'
name they blaspheme and whose words they dt'spi.se.
N(! slKsl ri'iri', l't>i! ( lllilsl I ANirv.
Iididels should never talk of our ^ivinu up
Chi'istianily till lhe\ can propose something' superior to
it Loi'd ( "liestertield's answer, ihererore, to an infidel
lady was very just. When at lirussels he was invited
by N'oltaire to su|) with him and Madam ('. 'I'he con-
vei'sation happeuini;' t(» turi' upon the alVairs (d" Kn^'-
land. "I think, my Lord," said Madanu' ('.. '"that
the parliai.ient ol' 10n<;'land consists ol' live or six
hundred of th»' best i'd'orme(| men in the kin^idom."
" True, uuulame, they nroy:i'nerally supposed to be so.'*
"What, t!«eu, my lord, can be the reason they tolerate
so on-at an absurdity as Christianity.'' "I sup-
pose, mndame," replied his Lordship, " it is beeuuHo
thev have not be«'ii able to substitute anvlhiny: better
in-
th
HUMAN NATUKi:.
79
'V
in itsstotul; whoii tluy can, I don't (Icuht hut in tiu'ir
wiisdoni they will rwidily adopl it."
IHMAX NATrUK.
When some one was talking' ix'Tort- thai Scotcli-
injin, Dr. Cheyne, of the exeellenec of human nature,
• Hoot, \w<>\, mon," said he, human nature is a i'o;j;u('.
and a scoundrel, or why would it |)er[)ciually stand in
need of laws and ndii^ion.
rooi; si'i IK.
" Well, l^'ather IJi'own. how did you like the scr-
nnm yesterday V" asked ;■ younii' |ireacher. •• \v see,
parson," was the i'( ply. " 1 ha\'en"t a lair chance at
them sermons of yonrs. 1 am an old man now, and
hav(> to sit pretty well hack hy the -love, and there's
old Miss Smithie, WidderTalV. and 1\\ land's dauuhters,
and all the I'esl. sittiu in IVont of me with their mouths
open swallowing down all ihe hest of tlu^ sermon an
what ^ets down to me is pretty poor stulV, |iarson,
pr<>tty po(U' siulV."
.\ mauniliceni memorial window was last year pri'-
sente<l to St. Margaret's Church, Westminsler, hy
American citizen^, in hoiioi- of Sir Walter Ualeiiih,
whose headless body was ciU'ried (olhecluirch from the
seallold. The followiuLi,' I'onr lines were written as an
inscription for Ihe win<low hy Mi'. <l. Kussell Lowell,
the Ainerii'an Minister:
Tlie New World's so- . fnMii Eiiglaiul's Itrcast we dicw
8ucli milk as bids rcmemlH'r wiieai't! we came,
I'loud of lu'r past whcicfroni our future urew.
This window we iascrilK' willi Hiilci.!j,li's fiuiie.
^!i
111
if
Ill
V'.-<
80
TlIK OKI) MAX AXD HIS ODDITIES.
4
(■if
1
A fino \viu('.(t\v pi'oseiitcMl to the cluircli about the
same time, mainly hv tlie publishers and printers (»!"
Loiidun. in honor of Caxton, who ..Iso lies buried
there. For this window the t'ollowinu' four line.'^ have
been written as an ins('ri])tlon bv Mi-, 'rennyson. They
are founded on ("axton's motto, " Juat luv," which is
(Mublazoned (jii the window :
Thy prayer was, " Liyiit —more Liylil — while Time shall last '"
Thou sawi'sl a glory arowiii!;' on I'.c ui.u'ht.
But not tlic shadows whicii tliat li^'ht would cast,
Till shadows vanish in the bii^lit of liigiit.
ODD 1 AWS.
TiiK 151. ii: LAWS OK coNMic ricrT i;i:i,.\ I'lNc; to
i!i;i,i(ii()N.
No man shall l)c a free man. or u'ivc a vote. uides> he
be a meud)er in full conuuuuioii with one of the
churches aUowcMl in this dominion.
Kach free nuiu shall sweai' by ihe bh'sscd (iud |u
l)ear true alh'uiam'e to this (himinioii ai'd thai Jesu> is
the only Kinu'. No nur.i shall hold ofiice who is not
s(uind in I'aith to his denomiuation.
No lodjLvin.u' or food shall be oiVercd to a (^uaU"r,
Adamitt'. oraiiy other heretic.
If any |>ei>on turns (Quaker, he >liall be banished,
and if he I'eturus, he shall sulVci death.
No priest shall abide in the dominion, he shall be
baiMshed and sutVer death if he return.
No person shall run on the Sabbath, or walk in the
ai'ch'U i)\' elsewheri', e.\ce|it i'ervV'ully to ami from
nu'etiiiii's. No pei'son shall tiavel, cook viclmds. make
beds, shave or cul hair on the Sabbliath dav.
I
..
ODD I,AWS.
St
The Sabhiith sluill begin at sunset on Stitunlay.
No person sluill rejul common prayer, keep (Mirist-
mas or Saint's day, make mince pies, play cards, dance
or play any kind of music exce])t the trumpet, or Jews
harp.
Xo minister shall join people in marriage ; the
magistrate only shall join peo[)le in marriage as they
may do it with less scandal to Christ's church.
JJRY SKiniONS.
One ol' our city clergymen on removing hither
with his household gods and goods, carefully packed
his sermons and marked tlie box " keej) dry." It is
not every [)reacher who is willii '." make such iui ad-
nussion in black and while.
b.'
■&*
;.i2
Tin: ODD MAN AND PIIS ODDITIKS.
"""::
ii:,.
. !
d*
^;ffil>
<<»'
^1
('HAlTi:U V.
A ('((lU'ctioii of the oddities of the ]*ress, would,
to my iinnd. form a most intei'ostin.i!,' ('iini)tei' in the
iiiriosities of literature, 1 here jU'esent my readers with
a few spccinuMis which have come under my o\vu obser-
vation.
Sonic years aii'o the London Tinicn, in speaking' of
a discussion ht'forc the council of minist(>rs, when Lor<l
lironahain was Chancellor, stated ''that tht> cliamlelie}'
liad thrown an extraordinary liuht u])onthe <|Uestion.'*
In one of the editions of Davidson's Populai'
Kmi'lish (iranimar. the prim-iple parts of the verli. to
I'hide. wcri' u'iven as follows: — •" Present infinitivt' — to
chid ; [>ast tiniti' — I chid ; past intinitixc- to have
children."
in the London C'^nrier. some year.- aii<>, his
majesty (iem-u'e the 1\'.. was said to have a lit of the
yoat at IJriu'hton. the doctors called it the u'oiit.
Another journal advci'tised a sei'mon Uy a celc-
l)rat<M| divine on the Inuuorality of the Soul, ami also
one on the Lies of the Poets, a \\(»rl\, no doid)t, oi'
many volumes.
The London (iloha once \>:\\\v an extract from the
Iveiiisti'ar's returns, in which it was stated that the in-
habitants of liondon were suiferin^at that time " from
a hii:h rale of niitralitt/."
\ waii. once asked what is treason, hut reason to
3J T? Which 'P. an accident of (he Press may displace
b«<la
ODD HI,rXDi;ilS.
83
with mo.st awkward offect. On thf other hand, a
printer who omit ed the Hrst letter of Mr. Harwell's
name might have pkjaded that it was an well without
the H.
In a volume of American Chancery Ke))orts, it is
said to be decided that cari)enters(e /-partners) are liable
for one an(^ther's debts.
Some years aao an editor ol' the South, wishinu' to
congratulate ( Jenci'al Pillow after his return from
iMexico as a battle scari'e<l veteriin. was made by the
tyjx's to (diaractcrize him as a " battle sciired vetei'an."
The indignant geiu'ral rushing into the editorial
sanctum, deuianding an e\i)lanation, which was given,
and a correction promised in the next day's i)a|»er.
.1 udgc of the editor's feelings on the morrow, when, ;is if
to heap horrors u|Mtn horroi's, lie I'onnd the general
styled in the revised pai'agrapli. •'thatscarred vct(M-an!!'
This was less excusabh' than the blunder of an
iMiglish journal, whiidi stated. " that the Iviissian
(icncral IJackiiiolfkow-ki was found dead with a long
woi'd in his ni(uith,"' lor no couipositoi'could be blamed
for leaving out 'i letter in a sentence after setting up
sueli a name corrt'ctly. A Ioul'' swor<l was intended.
In an article on the subject of literature for
children, we wrote : •" it is true they will devour the
most indigesiible pidtniinn for want of iu'lier." '['he
last word ol' this sentence was transiormed by Ihe ty|)o-
graphical imp f(U' want of ftntter.
Perhaps the most fearful error of the Press that
t'V(>r occurred was cau>ed b\ the letter (' dr<tpping out
of the following pas>ag<' in a "I^MMn"" of the book of
84
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITn:S.
-111
m
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common prayer: "We shall all be changed in a
moment in the twinkling of an eye."
When the hook appeared, the par^sage, to the horror of
the devout reader, was })rinted thus, " We shall all he
hayiged in a moment in the twinkling of an eye,''
Some years ago the editor of the Portland, ^le.,
Argus undertook to com])liment an eminent citizen " as
a noble old burgher, proudly loving his native state;"
but the neatly turned complin\ent came from cimi-
positors hands, " a nobby old burglar prowling round
in a naked state."
This is almost a match for a telegraphic bhuider
of which the Rev. eloseph Cook tells. Not long ago
Ernest Kenan had occasion to telegraph across the
British Channel the sul)ject of a proj)osed lecture by
him in Westminster Abbey. The subject, as written
by him, was, "The InHuence of Home on the Fornui-
tion oi' Christianity." It was announced all over Kng-
land, "The Influence of Kum on the Digestion of Hu-
manity."
A reporter paid a well-known city belle a comf)li-
ment, saying, " Her dainty feet were iMicased in shoes
that nught have been taken for fairy boots." Next
morniiig it read, " Her dirty feet were encased in
shoes that might have been taken for ferry boats."
A writer in a recent article repeated the anecdote
of the poet and wrote, " See the pale martyr in a sheet
of fire." Imagine his surprise, as, next morning it
read, " See the pale nuirtyr with his shirt on fire;."
It must have been a new beginner that set up
ftandu'tta, making it read " I am better."
f
3'
ODD BUNDER!^,
85
A lumber merchant rejxjrted " a bridge carried
away by a drive of logs." The morning paper had it
*' a bridge carried away by a drove of liogs."'
An adverti.^ement was handed in '• The Christian's
dream, no cross, no crown," it appeared, "The
Christians dream, no cows, no cream,"
A reporter of a Chicago [)aper once referred to an
intelligent craftsman as "a thinking tailor," the
printer made it read '• a thieving tailor."" The storm
struck the reporter and not the printer.
The Cincinnati Enquirer uwcc created a sen.^ation,
in display type, that a gang of American counter-
feiters •■ had been shaving the (^uecn,"" when shoving
the ((ueer was inteixled.
One of the woi'st instances of misprint was wliere
the lieading "A Iluiieyinoon Cut Short,"" was printed
in full face ty|t('. ""A Hungarian cut throat."'
Another e(|ually disagreealtle blundi'r. to the par-
tics interestod. was where a distinguished traveler was
reported as having I'ecently died in tlic *■ richness of
sin."" An apology was ma<le the next issue when the
editor informed tlu' pui)lic that the " interior of Asia"
was what lu' iuleuded to write.
IV'i'ha|>s uo iie\vs|)a|)er writer was ever luore dis-
turbed by a trifle tliau was the society re|)orter. who,
in desciiiting the lielle of a i'ashioualile party, iiitended
t(» sav. "she looked unfttif," hut found that an un-
fi'cling printer had uuide it read "she Vw\<.(h\ all feet.""
Of all writers, the late Horace ( ireehy was most
noted for illegible copy. Ou one occasion hi' pi'uned
Homi'thing about " suburban jourmdism advancing,"
but the type setter thiidcing it one of his famous
%%
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86
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
agricultural articles, launched out wildly with the
words, " superh Jerusalem artichokes."
In one of (Ireelev's articles "William H. Seward,"
was turned into " William the Third," and the quota-
tion from Shakspeare, " tis true, tis i)ity, an<l pity
'tis 'tis true," came out. " tis two, tis fiftv and fiftv,
tis fifty two."
It is somewhat singular how often the omission of
a seemingly insignificant letter will alter the entire
meaning of a sentence. For instance, several errors
are recorded where the letter "n"' lias heen omitted
from the wor<l " window." invariahly placing a widow
in some eml)arrassing position ; as where on the occa-
sion of a sti'eet pageant, a gentleman unwittingly ad-
vertised "several widows for hire;"' and the even
worse blunder, in a religious |)a})er which gratefully
recorded the fact that " ^Ii'. had very gener-
ously placed a stained-glass widow in the church at
The other day " Yankee Doodle " was printed
" Yankee Boodle."
A poem in the Somerville ( Mass, ) Journal once
contained this remarkable staii/a:
"Who took nic Irom my cliildhood's lionic,
And said he'd love iiic all alone,
And for my sacrifice atone V
Dickenson my husband."
" Dickson ■" was the name of the husband ; it was
sim])ly a (|uad put in wi'ong side u|), showing the
makei'"s mune, which is usually stamped on the bottom
of the type, ((^uads — blanks to fill out brok(Mi lines
— are shorter than letters, and onuht not to show in
ODD i;LrNDi;i;s.
ST
printed inattor; hut a new roller with a str(m<r «<U('tiou
will often pull one up to the surface. )
It is stated, on the authority of the historian
Kinlake, that it was the intention of Louis XajxtleoH
to eall himself sini])ly Louis Xapoleon, and that the
title Napoleon IIL was due >olely to an error of the
types. Just hefore the coup de etnt, a minister of tlu'
home ottice, busy |>re})arinii' public sentiment, wrote.
Que le mot d'ordre soit vivo Najioleon ! ! ! The printei-
took ^ the exclamations for '■ III." and so the procla-
mation went out. was copied by the I'ress, and incor-
porated in public speech. It was no time i'or explana-
tion, and so the nej)hew of his uncle ado|)ted the title.
The most carefully edited journal is fallible. Oif
the New \ovV Tferakh proof readers have been
suspended for weeks. In spite of this severe (lisci])line.
X\\v Herald ynn-v made the astonishiuLf announcement
that a lona; liiu' of scorpions feathers tih'd into church,
instead of suri)liced fathers."
It was in the New York WorhVs report of a
political meetinu' that the word '■'■shouts''' was so.
Judiciously misprinted as to nud<e the blunder famous.,
Tlie ^^ snouts" of 10,()(KI people rent the air, read the
re|)ort.
A blunder once turned " evokinuthe shadow of a
shade into •• cookiu<i' the shadow of a shad." Another
chanu-ed the title of Bret Ilarte's storv. " Wan Lee,
the rairan," in a review into, '' William Lee. the
Pauan."
I'.AD ITNCTIArioN.
Aftei- him came Lord Salisbury on his head; a
white hat on his feet: lar^e, but well-blacked b<»ots nm
m
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.;;:;ti!
:88
TIIK ODD MAX AND IHS ODDITIKS.
>!!'
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m.:
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his brow; a dark cloud in his han«l; the unavoi(hihle
walking' stick in his eyes; a threatening look in gloomy
siloiice.
A Pittsburg paper made ratlier a ridiculous
l)hind('r lately. The editorial said, '' The Legislature
j)asted the bill over the governor's head."
Will you please insert this obituary notice !
jisked an old gentlenmn of a country editor. " 1 make
b(»l(l to ask it because I knew the deceased had a great
nianv Friends about here who'd be glad to hear of his
death."
A country doctor in conversing with a friend
about the high rati' of mortality then prevading, lu>
remarked. •• Bedad, there are peo])le dying who never
died before I "* Speaking of a neighbor who was a
daring, rathei'than an cxpi'i't. marint'i. he related how
"■ his yacht had stuck fast an<l loose in the mud."
An Irish newspapi'r inferring to a roblxM-y, said.
■'• all the money was recovered, after a diligent search,
except a pair of hoots."
An in(pK'st was held and a vei-dict rendered,
•• that this |)erson niel his death by tlu' visitation of
(Jod under suspicious circumstances.'"
TheiH' is some vei'y odd blunders gle;ined from the
reports of stenograplu'rs. dross I'eceipts was made to
read, gmcery seats. — Tamarack Huess, reads dum
ricketyknees. — The mothi-r's prayer, reads the mother's
prioi'. — lie was a little fellow, read, he was a little
full. — They captured two pari'ut guns. They cai)turc(l
two pii-ate guns. — 'i'he wonnui was haking bread, the
wonum was begging bread. — I found the horse in that
pasture, in that [xisture. — Counsel offered j)aper in
ii, ■
,|;i
ODD HU'XDEKS.
89
evidence, reads, ouun.-'el offered a i)ani)er in evidenee.
Arthur Waite, the clialk-talk evangelist, leads, Artlmr
Waite the clioektaw evan<relist. — The showers were not
sufticienL to meet the wants of millnien, reads, wants
of milkmen. — In the interveninn' time he sairl
nothinu', in the entire eveiiin,i>' time ho said uothini:-. —
I came with my hrothers, Horace and Hcnrv. reads, I
came with my Itrother's horse and II(>nry. — A medii-al
witness, speakintr of the illness of a lady patient said,
*' she appeared to he somewhat nnsirnn^' and nerviMis."
The transcriher made hini say. "she apjteaivd to he
kneesprnn^' and nervons." — A minister |)reachin«;' a
sermon on the (h'ath of a tienth'man named Samuel,
(pioted: " And hiids and l)h)ss()ms in the dnst."' He
was ama/.e(l to read in the next issue of the i)a[)er;
'' and huds and blows Samnel in the dnst."
An attorney asked a I'emale witness how she came
to he employed hy the |)laintilV. and she answered ; I
saw a >\'j:\\ in the window. '• l'\'mah' clerks wanted
hei'c."" The hhinderinii' re|»orter rendered it, "■ Family
color \\arrante(l here." "
An oi'ator I'eferred to the dilVei-ent reliirious sects,
or denonnnations lioiniz' f<>rone another throuu'hout the
country, and said: •• Here we have one sect perse-
cntina' another." and was so reported, hut the
transerihiM* riMidei-ed it. "'heri' we have one sick |ierson
feedinu' another." (oid ^o it ai)|)eared in the papers.
Several vears a^o an ennnent lawyer hired one of
these professors to take testimony in an imi)ortant case.
The transcribed minutes astonished him. they read, a
patent, upon which mnch dei)ended in the siut, was
converted into a " potentate;" a "solid frame," was
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Tin; <)I>1) MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
conveitt'd into "an Isolatoil farm;" tlio I'liniacos of
this t'oniitrv wore sot down, " f.s the tinians of this
('(timtrv," and the <|uostion, "weie you in the liabit of
visiting the house!" was written: wore you in tlie
habit "• of fastening the hose."
CONSIlKNZi;.
The rolh)win<>' liappenod in one of the leading
Toronto restaurants : A swalh>w-taiK>d waiter of pro-
nfuineod (lernian extraction, brought a |)hite of straw-
boi'ries to a eustonu'r. The enstonier ventni'od to re-
mark that the berries were stah' and (dd, an im-
pression wliieii the Teutonic genth'man imm(>diiit(dy
'ouji'lit to remove
II;
ive vou anv conscience, the lover
of berries replied. Conshenze? conshen/.e? Hans re-
replied. " I haf been asked I'or dot belore, but it es
not on tlic bill of fare to-da\' ! "
V»^l
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A DKI.K All; vol N<; l,AI>V
She could swiiiui' " six pound (luinl»-l>t'll,
She (((uld IViicc iiiid she could box ;
SIk! could row upon llic river,
Slit! could cliuulicr 'inonn' the rocks ;
She (!ould do sonic heavy howlinu'.
And pliiy tennis idl diiy lonu' ;
But she I'ouldn't help her niolhei",
■('iiuse she wasn't very Hlron^-.
i;N(ii,isii AS sin; is wnori;
" The leiiclier. u lesson Ik? timylit.
'I'hc preacher a sermon Ik; prau^^hl ;
The stealer he slole ;
Theiiealer hehoh-
And I he screeeher he aw lull V serauuhl.
V -if
EN(iI,ISII AS SlIK IS WROTE.
4-»
sn
The long winded speaker lie spoke ;
Tlie post ollice seeker lie soke ;
The niniier he ran ;
The (hiiiiier lie dan ;
And the shrieker, he horridly shroke.
The tlyer to Canada Hew ;
The buyer, on credit he bew;
The doer, he did,
The s'ler, Ik sid;
Ami the liar (a lishcrnian,) lew.
The writer, this nonsense he wrote;
The tighter, an editor fote;
The swininier, he swam;
The skimmer, lu; skam;
And the bit(!r, was liun,ti-ry and bote.
.■'^
92
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
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(TIAPTER Vr.
The oddities and ciiriositios of our race crowd
upon us, and nioct us in cvorv turn of life ; and in all
the bvc-i)atlis where mortals tread. One would su})|)ose
that so serious a suhjeet as death, and the urave would
awaken reverence of thought and seriousness of ex-
])ression; and that soher, sensible woi'ds only, would
find their way into our cemeteries, hut such i> not the
case. The epitaphs written, many of them, are not
only not serious, they are not even decorous, th(>v arc;
the most iirotes<|ue. nonsensical, and ahsui'd, that one
can imai:ine. Many of them are comic, sarcastic and
side splittinu', violatin;,^ all tlu' rules of lauiiuau'c. 'I'lu;
inscriptions upon the older stones ar(> ra|)idly Itecominu'
illeii'ihle. and will soon have disappeare(l I'orever. The
readei- must not he surprised to find limpinii' verse,
and odd expri'ssion, for in many cases everythinu' was
sacrilici'd in order to make sonu'thiuu' iike rhyme. Tt)
arrange and classify them would destroy my desiiiu in
;i:ivin.ii' them to the reader. I insert them as tlu^y c(»me
to hand. Most of them are odd enough.
In a town in Connecticut there lies luiried a man
who had a larui' wen on the to|> <»f his head,
thus conunemorated :
" Our i'Mtlier lies licneiUli tlie sod
His spirit's ti'oiic unto Ills (Jod;
We never more sliiill hear his trciid,
Nor sec the wen upon his head," ,
II
e IS
^ "^
ODD Kl'ITAPirs.
<)3
iiiiin
Ic is
The foUowin^^ is siiid to ho on a gntvci^toiie near
London, Enjrland :
Poor Marthii Sliicll has gone away,
Ilcr would if she could, but hor couldn't stay;
Her had 2 bad legs and a baddish cough,
It was her two bad legs that carried her oil'.
On a tombstone in Worcester, Knirljind, is this
sin^nhir inscription :
" Mammy and I logetlier lived
Just two years and a lialf ;
She went first — 1 followed next,
Tlic cow Ix'l'ore tlie calf."
This conies from ()hio :—
" Under tills sod,
And under tliese tn.'cs
Lieth tli(! l)od-
y of Solomon Pease,
He's not in this hole,
lint otdy his jxid ;
He siieJled out his soul,
And went up lo liis Ood. "
These lin(>s, (»n a tonil)stom' at ('liild'.vall, Ku<j:-
\i\\u\, ai'e W(dl l\nown.
" Here lies me and my three daugiiters
Hrought iiere by using stiidlit/. waters;
H" we iiad stuck to Kpsoin salts.
We woiddn't iiave been in tiiese here vaidts."
llcro is how iheydotliis sort of tiling' in (Jennany:
Uy the thrust of an ox's iiorii
Came I into heaven's bourn;
All so (puekly did I die,
AVif(! tiud children leave must I;
Hut in eternity rest I now,
All through theo, thou wild lieast, thou!
V
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THE ODD MAX AND HIS ODDITIi:!^.
A good many men discovei' that they have been
henj)eeke(l after their wives are dead, and bohlly state
the t'aet — or tlieir epitaph makers do it for them —
possibly for the diseoiiragement of living shrews, 1
have found a number direeted against women :
" Hero lies the iniin Richard,
And 3Iiiry his wife ;
Their surname was Pritchard,
Tiiey lived without strife:
And tlie reason was phun —
'i'luiv ahouuded in riclies,
Tlicy iiad no care nor pain,
And the wife wore the birecJos."
AN ODD Sl'KCIMKX.
" Ilcnr lies wil'e second of old \Vini>' lioiicr-.,
She's safe from care and 1 from Itothers I
If death had known thee as well as I,
lie ne'er had stopped, hut passed t !..•(■ l»y.
I wish him joy, hut mueh I fear,
Me'll rue tlie day lie e;inie thee near."
A reli(ve<l and joylHl hnshand caused this iuscrip-
tioi) to he [daeed on llu' headstone of Ids wile in
Kilmury churchyard:
This stone was raised l)y Sarah's lord.
Not Saiali's virtues to record, —
For they're W( II known to all tin; town,
Hut. it was raised to keep her down.
A sea captain of Sag-lljirhor, liong Ishiiul. paiuied
a moral upon llu' ton.hsloiie (»f his third wife :
" Meliold ye livinjf mortals j)assin,u' iiy,
llow thick the partners of one hush.and lie,
Vast and unsearchahle the w.aysof (}od :
,Iusl, i»ut sev(^re his chasteninu,' rod."
ODD KI'ITAI'IIS. 95
A CLOCK-MAKKItS KPITAl'Il.
Here lios a iimn who all Iiis mortal life.
PmsI ni(!ii(lli)<;' clocks, but coiildiia niciul iiis wire;
Tlic laniiii of his bell was ne'er so shrill,
As was her tongue, aye chunking like a mill.
IJut now he's gone — oil, whither naiie could tell—
I hope beyond the soun o' Mary's l»ell.
One I{(»l)('rt Kciiii) l'ljU'<'<l lliese liiR-s on the toiuh-
stoiic (»t' Iiis (leccasiMl wife.
She once was mine,
Mut now, () Lord.
1 iier l(t thee resiun.
I remain your ohedieiit, humble s(>rvant.
lUniKKi Ke.mi',
In memory of ;i m;in and his wii'(\
•• lie lirst departed -she a little tried
'i'o live without liim-^liked it not, and died."
A ranious cpitiipli in Pcwsey clinrcii, l^imland:
Here lies the body
of
i,ady O'liOoiiey.
(Jreat niece of Murke. commoniy called sublime.
She was
IMand, jiassionate and deeply religious.
Also she paiiite(| in w, iter colors.
and sent several pictures
To the <'\hibition. She was lirst cousin
to Lady .loiies.
And of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.
Ilornc was nnroituniilc with his wives, with the
0X('i'|)tion of the (Uic noted.
'I\> the memory ol' u\y Iniu' wives, who all died in
the sj)iiee of ten yciirs, hut more /initrkln' to tiie lust,
Sally Ilorne, who left me jind I'oiir deiir children ; she
i
96
THE ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
\va!< a good, siober, and cloan soul. ^lay I soon go to
hor. A. I). 1732.
" Dear wives, if you and I shall go to heaveu,
Tlic Lord be blest, for then, we shall be oven."
W. J. IIOUNE.
Tiie piety of the next is doubtful :
"lie lived and died a true Christian,
lie loved his friends and hated his enemies."
The ('p)tisni of the ue.\t is alai'iuini;. This stone
nuiy still be seen at Saragossa, Spain.
"Here lies .John (Juebeeca, precentor to my Lord the
King, when he is admitted to the choir of angels, whose so-
ciety he will embellish; and where lie will distinguish himself
by his powers of song. God shall say to the angels ; cease ye
calves I and let me hear. John Quebeeca, preicntor to my Lord,
the King."
One would hardly expect advertiseinnts on tomb-
stones, but they are occasionally to be met with. Here
is an example from a cemetery.
Here lies Fournier (Pierre Victor,)
Inventor of everlasting lamps,
"Which burn only one ceiUimcj's worth of oil an hoiu".
He was a good father, sou and husband.
His inconsolable widow
Continues his bu.siness at No. 10 Ruenuxtrois;
(roods sent to all parts of tiie city.
N. 13. — Don't mistake the opposite shop for this.
S. V. W W. I. P.
A COMMON lOUUOK.
Here lies un old wonian who always was tired ;
For she lived in a ho\ise where no help was hired ;
Her last words on earth were: Dear friends, I am going
Where no washing's done, no churning, no sewing;
Where all things will be just exact to my wishes:
.1 .".•cff-'
<)i)i) i:i'i lAi'iis.
i>7
For whci-c Ihcy doift diiic there's no wasliiii-' ^^ disli.'s,
I'll lie wlicre loiul aiitliciiis forever are riimini;-,
Hut haviiin- no voice, I'll he riM ol the sinn-inu-.
Don't mourn lor me now. and don't inom'n for me never,
I'm Li'oinii' to do notiiin^- for evei- and ever ! .' I
AN I;yi; I'd 111 siNliss.
" IJenealii liiis stone in hopes of Sion,
There :ies tin landlord of the lion.
IJesin'ned nnto ihe lleaxcnly will
Hi' son keeps on the luisiness sii|l "
Maine, T. S.
AN i:vi; lO MA riM.MoNY.
" Sacred lo the memory of .lames II. I{ ni who died
Aiinust H;ih, ISDI). Hi:, widow monrns a. one wiio can be
comforted, au'ed L'l. and po>scs»,ino- ,.\|.i'y (pialilicalion for a
i:(iod wife, I,i\cs a! sii'ei't."
IN (•(iNNi;( rici'i'.
II<'re lies iwii twins, .-ill side li\ side.
Of the smallpox lioth of them dieil. "
IN A <'lll i;< 11^ \i;|» IN n:NNs^ |,\ANIA.
'■ l']li/.a, sorrcjw ini^-. ivars this mai'Me slab,
To her deal' ,Io|;n. who died of eatiiii;i'rabb."
IN ( \i'i; \\\\.
.Mary .lane.
AuimI 1 1 yrs, s nio.
"She w.asiioi small, --lie was not fair.
I '.lit hearts w itii L'-rief bu' her are swell in',
.\nd empty stnnds her little chair,—
She died of ('at in' walermclon."
Tlic late Inisiiioss and iircsoiil w licicahoiifs of a
(Icct'ascd M';i-ca|>t;iiii arc siiimiicd up Icrsidv on a I>lo(d<
I-lainl li('ii(l.<t()ii('.
" lie's done a calchiiiiv cod
And y'oiR' to meet his God."
%
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i)s
Tin; ()1>1) MAN AND fllS nl)l)rill>.
IK*'' '
i
.-f
IN iMTi-.-rii:L!». >iA^-sA( iirsr.TTs.
" Wlicii you my rriciids arc passiim- Ity,
And this inroniis you wIktc I lie.
Hi'MicMiIxT you ere louu' inusi lia\ r
lake inc. a mansion in the lii'avc'
NICIKM.AS Ni:UI(>N.
" Here lies, alas, niore's tiic pity
All thai icinaiiis of Nicholas Xewcily."
I'octs ol'tcii claini s|»('ci:il license. TITls is i'Xtr;i,
;ii.-n llie iie.\l oile.
llloMAS \\()itl)lli;N.
Here lies the remains ot Thomas \\ ooilhcn.
'I'hc most amiaiilc of husliands, and excellent of men.
!Ii- name is Woodcock. liUi il would Hot COMIC ill
rllVlUC. ///.-■ II idntv.
Sonic iiio-t iiitd'cslint:' citilnplis ni'c in piosc. \\k'\\'
IS one
llAri'l.i; (»l' Mlll.nll.
".lolin 1). I- was l)orn March •Jtllh, 1S'29. in West
Dresilr'ii, New ^'ork. where the wicked (case from trouhliiiii-,
and I lie w eary arc at rest."
sAi: \i'()(i.\.
Kmma. danuhter of and wife of 'I'heodorc died
]S(i,s, leavinij,' live children. — .Man led too yoimii, a.n'aiiisl her
I'alher's will. Siiiijh' women lake warning;'.
i;.\si' •|'i:nni:ssi;i;.
Siie ]i\('d a life of virtue and died of cholera inorlms,
caused by eatinti,' i^rccii fruit, in the hope of a lilesscd iinmoi-
Jalilv at lilt' iin'c of ','1 vcars. Keader. iio and dolhoii likewise.
I-
<)i)i> i;i'i'i'.\i'iis.
<i<
)!)
I\ (AI.IIOliMA.
They nMiiiiiciimralc iliiTcrciiily in ( 'nlifoniia. n.s
witness the lullowiii'j in Sau DicMd.
" Tliis yciv is sicriMJ tn llic Miciiinry uf Win. II. .skarkaiMi
wilt) came to liis dcalli l»y licjn shot hy (nit's revolver, (!tie of
llie old kiiiil, hra-s inoiiiiieil, niid of siieji is the kindoiu of
llCMVeii."
It \va> a uanlrnei'. I jinaLiiiie. who deplored bis
'•liild in tins lasliioii.
■• ( »ni' little ,I:ieoh
li;i-^ h('\\\ |;d;eii ;i\v;i_\ fi'oni this earthly L;;n'(lei!
'io 1(1 DO in
111 a siipei'ior ilower [lot
alioxc.
()iily a (iennan eoiild lia\-e written this:
My v.ife Sii^aii is orad. Il'slicliad life until iie\l i'^aday
>lii''d lii'eii dead slinst tuoweeks. As a t ree falls so it iiiusr
stand. A 11 ;liiiiL!s is pos:dlile mil (iod.
\ el'y eoiiiiiidll. often found.
" .\llliit ioMs >o!'c I Ioiil;- lia\'e l)or<',
I'll vsieiaiis \\(a-e ill \aiii.
Till (iod did plea>e to ;:ive ease
And take aw a )■ my pain."
The i\\(i lollowini:' afe odd enoULih.
"1 was well ;
Wauled Io he lietter ;
'Took ]ilivsie,
And here I am.''
In \\'iiill)\- old eiini'ehyaid tliis was Found.
" 'riie pain was not eon lined to one part,
Hut I hroiiu'li his hody spreail;
He siillered iii'eatly at his heart
And water in his lu'ad."
-1* '
tl t
"i >
1
i
m >
100
rm: odd man and his odditiks.
Iv(>l)(,'rt IviH'Vc, Uii)[)k'. Worcs'storshiiv, was soveii
t'et't ill K'liii'tli.
As vrs |»;iss hv bcliold mv Iciiu'tli.
l)Ul never uiory in yc)\ii' streniiili.
A (MItl, (>!•' I'lI-rilDN YI'.AltS.
Ill ^Fiilvei'ii cluircliyard a '/\y\ nl' 1.") years is iiijule
to say:
■■ I am a rose enipt in my Itiul;
CfOil eul me (Inwii as lie saw lit.
Ami placed inc in a Ited of ( l;iy
L'utilllie lesun-eetion day."
m
A FAKMi;i!s r.l'IIAIMI.
"With sweat and tnil I ion"- liavr tilled the n'roiuid.
iJnt in it now a resliny place have found,
TiirouLiii our Redeemer, .lesus Chrisl 1 trust,
That I, like i)ui'est wheat, shall spring' from dust.
And share !lie invlul harvest with the just."
1'
'*T 1
IP
11'
II
MAKY SIANIloPi:.
*'Slie was -Itut words are wantinu' to say what,
'I'hink what a uil'e should Ite — and she was that."
IN 11 i.ioiMt Nt;AU ^dKK, i;ni.i,ani».
" Farewell, vain world. I have had ei\oui:li of tiiee,
Ami now 1 car(,' not what tlion thiid\e^t of me ;
'i'hy smile, I court not, nor. thy frowns I fear,
IJencath this stone my head lii's (juiet here."
Ill Liitoii eenictrry U|m)ii Kehceea XdrtiTs stoiic
" W'ouldst thou know her character'.'
Follow her footstei)s to heaven,
And the ani!.-els will tell thee."
%
: i
oDit i;rn.\i'iis.
101
.loiiN s.Mrrir.
Ill inciiKiry o!' .I.ilm Sniilli
who iiicl a w icrlciit death,
near this spot
is hiiii(hT(l and 40 too.
He was sliot !>y liis own pisirll ; it was not one of tlie new-
kind ; luit an old -fashioned lira-s hai'i'eil and of suelt is
the Kinadoin nf Heaven.
The (dlorl.- to (•()iiij>re-.s within ;i sinall s))acc. :iii<l
tlui.s siive '.'Xpensc. lends ol'ten to ciirioiis fesult:?. ;i.s
witiie.-s ihe t'ollowinij'. iVoiii a chtiiclivai'*! in (lliistoii-
'>in'L:. ( 'mill.
'■ Here lies one wlio's
l-ite's tlir. ads eui a>niiih'r
She w as slniek dead
Jly a ehi|' of thiiii(ler.'"
ANiiriil.!;.
•' Here lies the liody of Jane Gray
The nianner of her death is thus
Siie was dni\ over liy a Inis^.."
The coiit'iision (d seiiteiiccs soiiieiinu's K'uils to
fiirioiis niistakc- as tlic iolhtwini:' tVoin a sk'eiiinu' pliici;
near ( 'iiiciiiiiat i. < >.
■■ Here lies
\\ ho eaine to this city and died,
For the lienelit of his healtii."
In KiliiiariKK'k. Ayi'sliirc.
" He died uiieoiniijainiim', in
No pain witiiout inedieal aid."
Here follows a .s|ii'i'liiirii ol' tlu- ))hiii(U'i'iiiii' class.
'• Here lies the bodies of two sistei's dear :
One's Inirit'd in Iivlaiid; the other lies here,''
*
l«l*tl,ll
!mi>'" '■
■";i i
f
■rj..
102 tin: odu max and his odditiks.
It is M t:;ill;uit J'^ciichinaii wlio thus ai)()str()|)ln/('s
tlu' (K'rmict piirtiu'r of his joys ami cares.
■■('iiict. ma iVmine, oli iiu'cllc est hica !
Tiiur soil rcpiis. ct pour Ic niicn.''
Which; has its couiilci'[)art in an I^iiLilish cluirch-
yaid.
■' llcr<' lies my poor wife .him — licrc Icl her lie 1
She limls ivsl at lasi. au.l --o ilo I."
The uiiiiiari'icd I'aii' have I'eceiveil Li'eiilh'r tn^at-
iiieiit . though a talkat i ve -jiiiister is awarch'il tiie.-e liiiev:
" I'lidci' this stone tlie Ixidy lies of Araliella ^'oll^^^
Wlio tin the I wenly I'ourth of May li(';.'an to hold her loni^'u.'."
'Inhere i> a sporting;' ihix'oi' ahoiit the i'olhiwiii^
rcrei'etice to Ste|iiieii Ivilliilthtoil . (|iiite iiiiiijilc,
■■ ill' lived to 111.'), lii'arly and sironu',
100 to .") you don't live a^ loli;^'."
A re(|iie>t t'oi' luii'ial in a cei'taiii sp,,! is not iiii-
('o:nnion, tllollLiIl seMont e\|U'e>sed with llie luiixcte of
the I'oUow iiiL:' :
" I'udcr this yew ti'ce, 'mried he would l»c,
I'ecause his latlier lie, planted ihi-- vi w tree."
The nii'inoi'y of (h'pai'leil nialrou> i> worth |)i*e-
ser\iii2'.
'■ Some have children, sume liasc none ;
Ilel'e lies t he lliot jier ol t u cnly one."
The I'oUowiiii: wamiiiii and ad\ isor\ liue> ai'c on
the toniltstone id' a i|na(d< (hu-ior. wlio was alive to-
l)usini'ss even if he was ih'ad :
" I was a ipiark, ard there are men w ho say
Thai ill my time I physiek'd lives away ;
And that at leimtli I Ity myself was slain
Hy my ow n druiis ta'eii to reliexe my pain.
\ r
i.,ii
OKI) Kl'ITAIMlS
lOH
'I'lic irinh i,, hciiiL!' troulili'd wiili a cougli,
I like a UhA coiisultcil 1)1'. (iouu'li:-
Will) i»liysick'(l me to dcatli. at liis own w ill,
Iiccausc lie's licensed hy the State to kill;
Had 1 l)ut wisely taken my own physic
I iievci- should have died of cold anil 'tisick.
So all l)e warned and w hen you catch a cold
(io to niy son, l)y w honi my medicine's sold."
Se|iiil(dil';il i'(d'('r<Mi('('s to tlie roriilel' plli'snit.- id'
tlic ilcpai'li'ij liavc heeii very ('0111111011. L;iw\cr,- whose
ways arc dark have railed for la•ll^^l^(^ ami dociors
wlio-e iti'idi'ssioiiai iiiiuisliat ions liave tilleil llie iiall' of
iMir cliiireliyarMs. have foi'miMJ ihe priiici|»al >iil»ie('ts.
l']\er|iiioii i- maijc in Favor of a h'^^al oriiaiii;'iil to
oil ' .Mr. SiraiiL;'!'. Init at the eNpetise of his hrotiier
praeliiioiirf-:
" 1 IiTc lies an lionesi law yei'— SI raiiii'e' "
The |)ro|io>e(l epilajili to the emiiieiil eook. Me.xis
Soyer :
■■ I'eace to liis hashes,"
i< Well known. le>s known luit nmie ailuiiraMe is
thai n|ion a >h'e''a.-eil ijyer:
" I liTe lies ;i mail w ho dyed of wool a ureat store,
Hue day he died himself, and d\ ed no more,"
When with ehai'aeterisi ie eynieisin Uynni ilerideil
llic ei'eijiility o!' hini who wonhl ■• Itelirve a woman, or
an epitaph,"" he may have hail in ni'ml IJeii -lonson's
raiiions line- on the ('oiiiitess of I'emlu'oki- :
" riidei'iiealh this sal>le heal'se
Lies the suhject of all vei'se,
Sydney's sister — I'einliroke's mother !
Death ere ihou has! slain another !
Fair and learned, and yooil as she
'rime >liall throw a dart at thee."
.-V
104
Tin: (»I>1) MAN AN1> Ills ODDITIKS.
H„.'tl't
5'" i
til
H '
m i
Could the incnuirv of Shnksnciin' dcmtuid loftier
strains? ("oinpai'i" the al)ov(' with tlu' (jiiaintiicss and
simidicity of these lines :
'■ nicst lie tlie Mian wlio spaics llicsc slones,
Ami curs't Ite he wlio moves my Itoiies "
Stiiet adhereneeto mere uialter-of-faet has >eareely
heeii eon.vidci'ed the special attriUute of an epitaph.
The three followinLi' are well ant lient ieate<l examples
of unvari*iishe(l detail :
■■ Sarah Yoi'ke did ihis lilV resign.
Sixteen hmwh'ed and sevenlynine." Norwich.
Another :
•• Ili'rc lies the l)ody o[ William Mix.
One thousand seven Inmdrcd ;u!d si\iy-si\."
" llta'c lies tlie holly of honesi Tom I'llU'e,
^^■ ho died in the thirty third ye,i I of his ;il;c."
In the sanu' connection may he instanced the in-
scription on the toudi id' the innd<ecper hnrieil opposite
his house:
■' ilcic lies 'I'iMnmy Diiy,
l\cmo\('d from o\cr (he w.'iy. "
Latin was loni: considered the only appropriate
laiiii'nau'i' for an epita|»h. It is \\('IM\nown that Dr.
.Iidiiison rid'used •• to disLii'ace the walls of Westminster
.\hhcy."" with an l-'aiii'lish iirscriptioii to the memory id'
()li\('r (Jiddsnnth, This is the more to lie deplored
since the doctor could ami did wi'itc l''ni:lish e|)ilaplis
(d' nmrit - witness ihat upon Phillips the musician :
"Sleep midis|urli;'d williia Ihis pcaeeful shi'lae,
Till an;;cls wake thee w ith a note like Ihine."
^1-
^'^ i '1 'C
>i»i) i:iM'i.\i>i[>.
10.-)
L(>r<l Aslihiii'iiliaiii \v;i>:ic(Misi(miC(l t()(|U(>tc rlic f<»!-
lowiiiH' cpiiapli a.- a iMai'fct cx.'D.pIilicaiiuii of poctiv.
|)icly and |inlii(ii(>> :
\f who stand arouml niv uivivc,
And sa\- his litV is Li'onr.
Yon in'c niist;ikcn — itiirdon me —
.M \ ni'c is hni iicuuii."
I)ivvity. (lie soul i^\ wii. Iia< hvai little coii-iihaiMi
111 llii.- (das- of col II I Million. llrii Jon-oii's pi'odiiciioiis
arc except !oii<. I luaiiciiiliei' three \-cai's aL'i> cop\ iiiM'
t lire(- via'v lii'iid' one-. ( )uc on the tonih-tmir ol' |\ nielli
I lie piiltli-lier. it ica(l> :
" (iood K'la'uhi ■■
Aiioijior (Mpially ')riei' i- to tin nieinoi'v ol' Dr.
I'^iiller. it reads :
•• Fnller's rarlh.
I)i'. \\'alkei' wi'ote a liook on I'aiulisli panicles.
1 1 i> epitaph read- :
'■ 1 !crc Hcs \\Mlkci''s i);irticl('s."
I piijl the |o|iil»-tolie of liMl'haLje. llic acloi', there
is an epitaph (d';jreal lir(\ity. a simple st!iL;(' ilirecl ion ;
" I-Ail llui'haii'e."
I>r. Donne wrote a hcantifnl in-cription as an
I'pilaph foi a deceased inlaiil :
" Mrc Niii <iinld liliuiil. or sori'ow fade,
Deal h eanie w ilh frieiiilly care ;
The opciiiiiL;' liiid lo iiea\-eii coiiNcved,
And hade it Idossoai there."
The tcniehiiiii' si d »_)»'(' I ol' an iiil'anl's niorlalily linds
litliiii!' c\pressi(»ii in the two liiu's rollowiiiii':
" .Inst with he!' lips the cup of life she pressed.
F(aiiid tile lasle liitter— and declined the rest."
b-
Bi
IVK) Tin; ODD MAN AND Ills oDDlVlKS.
Winclu'stcr ('atlu'driil, l-").")! :
" Bciic;illi tliis stone lies slnit up in llic dark,
A t'clldw and a pi'icst ol' the name of Joliii ("lark;
Willi cai'Udy roscwatcr did he (incc dcliiilit yi'.
I>ul now li( deals in heavenly aijiia vilae."
Oil .loliii Potter, from a MSS. in the liritish
!\[n>ei;iii :
Alack, and well-a-day I
i'otler himself nas turned to clay."
( )ii a eliiiui-<lealer's lonih:
■' IJeiK atli this slouv' lies Catharine (}rey,
( liained to a tonil) ol' lifeless clay:
iJy earlii and clay she <j:i>\ her |Mlf.
And n<i\v she's luriie<l to elay herself. *
IJuI what avails ;i Hood of teal's ?
Who knows lull in a course of years.
Ill some tiill pitcher or brown |)an. '
She in her shoj may lie a'liiii '.'"'
< )ii a carrier:
".Iiihii .\dains lies iicrc. nf the pirish i^\' S.iiiihwcll,
A carrier wlio carried his can to his munlh well;
lie cairicd sii much ;ind lie e;n'l'ie(| so fast
lie could carry no more, and was carried ai l.ist.
For liipior he drank, lieinn' too much fur duc,
lie cdiild not carry olV. and is now carri mi."
< )li eliiidreli :
■' III chililliood's morniiuj,' land, serene.
She walki'il lielween us two like love,
.\iid in a rohe of lii;ht. unseen.
Her Itetter aiiu'el walked ahoNc,
l»nl life's hiii'liway liroke dim and wild;
Then, 'est those starry i;arineiits trail.
Heart l.reak, hope die, or coiirau'c fail,
'I'hi- aiiL-'el's arms caiiuht up the child."
T'
<>i)i) i:iiTAi'Hs.
lo:
The Ifcv. ,I(.liii T. Viii,^ <;i\v tl,,. iullowiiio. ..pitMph
ill an old Hiioli.^l, (.liiiich-yanl. over the hndy ..f Ahra-
Iiaiii Peck:
Wove lies a Peck, wliicli some men say
Was lirsi of all a Wvk ol' day,
Till wroiiiilii hy natiiiv while alVesh,
liceaiiic a eiii-idUs I'eek of llesli.
Full lil'ly years I'e.-k IVJt life's luihliles.
'I'ill lieath relieved a ['eelv oj' li'(,uhles;
Ami so ile died, ;is all WVU liillst.
All-! llel-e he lies, a 1 'i ck of dust."
'V\\(' siate-iiiaii hiin^cir is said to liavc .liscovcivd
il and n-ndi'i. d il inio I.;niii licxanicter. A uond
(■.\ani|dc ^\\' \W\< kind id' anto-iuorloin liieralurc i- the
cpilaph written dni'lii-' (lie lil'etinic ,,r liciijandn
I)"I.-<ra('li---nccd it ie,-aiil l>y a liberal pen:
'■ 'riiel' lies Lord Ifcaeoiislield;
I It \\ as a u ay he had)."
I'rcsencr of iidnd has always heen held in jnst
cstiniatinii. alihon-ii it ha- it 'en slirewdK i\'niarkc.l
that in nionients id' peril aliMiice ^\\ IkkIv is cNcn more
d''siialile. Il is eertainl\- ;di-enee (d' l»od\- which rornii»
the chitd' characteri-l ic of ihe three I'ollowinL;':
lli'l'e liev the I'eiuains of 'l'hoili;is Nieols,
W ho died ill IMiilailelphia, 175:^ Had he
Used he would ha\i' lieiai liiiried iiere."
" lli'i'e lii's Ihe Mody of .loiialhau (Jroiind,
Who was lost al sea and iie\cr found '"
• Here lies Ihe body of John Mldivd —
Al least he will he here W hell he's dead;
Mut ill this lime he is alive.
Folirteelllh of Au,mist, ,Si.\|\ .|i\e,"
i
i-
U'tif
m
1()<S
of
Tin; ODD .AIAX ANI> JUS ODDITIKS.
TIktc was no intentional (lisrcspcct to the niernoi'v
" JoJiH Hoss.
Kicked lu' ;i hoss."
And it may have Ikh-ii in deep drit'clioii that the
IVicnds (d' till' nnrortiiiiatc youth kiUcd during;' a pyi'o-
ti.'chnic di-|)h\v wrote npoii his toiiih^loiie :
•• Here ! lie,
Killcil liy n sky-
Iiiu'kc! ill ni\ eye."
There wa> not any [ireiiii'ditated h'vit\' in (he liiie>
lot he liieliior\" (d'
" .Inim >l;i! pilcl'sdil — that WoiidcrlM] person;
Six tool t wo — wi'hoilt iii> siioe,
And slew — at ^\^•ln•rlou."
The hiiiiioi of the folhiwiiiu i>owint: to the peculiar
piiiK t nation :
" |jc( led lo liir meliiniy of .lohli I'ldllips. AeciiK'lUaliy
>-liot as a mark ol' all'ecMdii l»y iiis lu'ol iier.'"
It is dillieiill to <iiy whtther in je>t or monition
the follow iii;i' was iiiscrihed to the memory id' an l*]arl
of K ildare :
• Wiio killed Kildarev Who dared Kihlare to kill?
|)eatli killed l\ildare, w ho dai'e kill w lioiii lie will.''
Ill < iioiicester. ICiiiilaml :
■■ Twd sw celer'iiahes you nare did see,
'I'haii (Jod Aiiiily uiive to nie;
liilt they were taken uitii auue lits.
And here they lie, as dead as nils,"
poverty iiicoii\-eiiient :
' ' Here I lie al the chancel door.
Here I lie hecause I'm poor;
'I'lie furl her in the more you pay.
But 1 lie just iis warm as tiicv."
ODD i;i"l lAI'II: .
10!l
" Ilcn; lies llic Iwidy i»t\ Huinplircy Cole;
Tlioiiiili 1)l.ick his iijiDic, yd wliilc Iiis soul:
P.ii; yet lliniiL!!i hhick. tliniinli carlioii is his iiaiiic,
'I'hc ciialk itsi'lf is !c>s wliilc than his I'aiiic."
I>iil> I l'o!|(i|)c. ;iii ;il'cliit<'('t :
• 1 li'i'c Hcs IJmI) Trdllopi'.
\\'\in iiiaili' I ill' vidiii's roll ii|t,
\\ ii'ii (li'Ml h liiok hi> sDiiI up :
I li-' Ixiily lillcl ihi> li(,|,. iij)."
< >ii "lie li/;nitiriil ,-l(i!ic l!ii' siiiTuwinLl' lnisl);ill(l ill-
ti'iidiMl. I prc-iiiiii'. Ill h;i\c ihi- prayi'i' I'lir the dead.
( wliicli I'cnti-: •• L 'I Iht i-cst in p.-ac-." ) ^'ll^■l■av('ll (Hi
ill'' >t(iiic: liiii ihf -liipid ai'ti>i. imt liaviiiLi' rnoni for
the whdic scnlciici'. <ali>li((l liiiii-ilf hv piittiiiu' (Ui tlu'
>l"iH' ihc Jii'si h'ttci'.- «»t' ihc hist thiTc words, and iiow
it read-:
" I.cl iifi' r. i. p."
A l)('( r drinker:
• liciv ..111 .Inhu Uaiidall lies,
Who, rnuiitiui:' IVdiii his tali',
Iii\ I'll I hii'i' M'lii'i' \ rai's ami ten,
Siirh \ iit 111' \VM< in ale.
All' u as his meat ,
Ale was ills drink.
Ah' did his heart riwivr.
And il' he euuld ha\e drank" ins ale.
I le si ill had Iti'i'ii aii\e,
.laniiary ."i.
" Iferc lies ,lnhn lliiihly. whose JaiJH'r and mother were
drowned eoniinn- to .Vmeriea. II;id iliev li\ei| they would
litive heeii hurled iiere."
^'-
10
Tin; ODD MAX AND HIS ODDITIKS.
>-
m
I Ul{
>•'¥
In ii Wiltsliii'o cliiirt'liyjird is the i'olIowiiiL:' iii-
sc-rii)li()ii :
" Here lies brothers three :
Two Mi'e buried liere.
'I'lic oilier \v;is ihfo'ivii in liie sea.
A l.:.l)y:
" ( )])i'\l its eyes.
'Took a peep:
Diilnl like it.
Went asle('i)."'
Ill St. ( "Iciiieiit's cliiircliyard. I lastilii^s. I(i7'_'. is
a little L;i»n(l ;,^(i>|iel :
"Slo[). iiioi'lai. slop. ;iml I'ead my tah' so jtliiin :
Vou ".vill lie Jos', you will Ite lu-i, unless you're lioi'ii auaiii. "
111 Isliiiiitoii is 1(1 lie t'(iilli(i :
" I'l'.-iy liii' t lie soul 111 (lal ri'l ■John.
Who (lied in the yr;ir KiOl ;
< >r. il you don't , it is ;dl one."
Ill l>e!'ksliii'o i- llic roljowili'j;- lidod adxiee:
" When this yoii see. pray judLic iioi me,
I'"or '^in eiiouuh I o\\ n :
.'Mind yoiir own li\cs and jiid'jc yoiir>el\ cs,
fini lea\c otlna' I'olks alone,"
111 Poet's ( 'onier. N\'estiiiiii.-.t(i' AMuv. many will
liave s(.a'ii < i:iy ".■« c pittipli :
" i,it'e is a je^l, and all thing's show il ;
I thoiiLihl so once, hut now I know it,"
Tlie eoiicludiiiu' ]»:ii't ol' all epitaph of a Kentish
lady is:
" She was
In heart a l.ydia, and in ton.nue a Hannah.
In /eal a Kutli. in wedlock a Susannah ;
I'riKleiil ly simple. pro\ ideiitially wary,
'I'o the vvoiid a .Mai'tha and to heaven a .Marv,"
<>i>i> i:i"i r.M'iis.
11
will
Kiiially the old >,,|(|i..r-s (•..nrcsHun. in ( "lii,.|ic'stcr
i-luiivliy;ir<l. we coiil.l iiiniiy dI' ii- cnddisr:
" lli'iv li(.^ Mil ()l,| siildicr. whom all iiuis; applaud.
Siiirr Ur siiih.nMl iimcii iianlshii. al lioiiic aiul ahroad.
* IJi'.t llic lianl.'si rim-i-viiiciii he ever was ii-,.
^\■ils lli(. haltjc nf self in tlic coihuicsI of si-\"
" .loliii I'l'osscr
Is my name. ;ini! Kimlaiui i> !iiy nation :
N<'\v 1 am (!r:i,l and in my ,-ra\c. .,nd .all my l.oncs arc rottt-ii .
Asyoii pa.-s hy ivmcmlicr me, wiicn I am (piiic foryom-n."
--| W'rilicn l)y himself.
.Iiid-v ( iooi'n,. nanliiiiiv. iliivc liouis hcd'oiv his
'Icath. addiv--od llii> rliyiiir.j Icllci' to liis crcdiioi's. uhd
it was ciiLiraxcii ii|»oii his lohih:
■' Dear .Mcsni-s. Tippcns: Wha' is IVaivd by you.
Alas! the melancholy eiiHanns'ance, is i laie
'I'lial I am dead : and more aHeeiin^' still.
•My le-al assets cannot j>a_\ \oiii'liill.
'I'o think of this, I'm almost hrokendieai'lcd :
Insolvent. I this earthly life departed.
Dear Messis. T,, I'm youi's, without a laiMliinn
l''oi' e.\e( mors and .M'lf. (Jko. II \i!I)1N(.i;."
A child:
" Into 1 his world, as strau'^cr jo an iim,
This child eame ,i;iiesi wise, where, when il had lieiai
Awhile, aiiil found noiiLdit of his stay,
lie only broke his fast and wcu: away."
A lilllc -iri:
" The (Hip of life ^he w itii li?'r lips hut pressed.
Found the taste liilter, and declined the rest.
Averse, tlKMi lui'nim:' from the face of da\.
She Li'ently sii^jied her little soul away."
!''l'oill Isliiioloii. iSdS;
"Slic had no fault, Imt that the travellers nive the moon,—
IIci' li.n'ht was lovch , hut she died too soon."
1-
«• li.
iS
11- tin; ODh MAN AND HIS ODDITIKS.
Attril)iit('!l to Drydcii :
•• IIci'c lies my wil'r ; liciv let Ium' lie.
SIic's at rest now. and soam 1."
Frmu the Asliiuulcan collcctiou :
■' Wild lit's ill tliis toml) ?
lldiiLili I (|U()llic devil, 'tis my son, Joim C'ltinlt."
M r>. K(isc"s loiiih:
■■ "^ixt ycigli! years a TraLr-rant rose ^lie lasted.
Nor vile reproach her virtues ever hhisled :
Her autumn ))as|, expects a Iiet'cr sprint-,
A second i) 'lU'i' life, more llourishinii'.
< >ii Mrs. ( Jrccnwood:
■■<» death: () death! t hou hast cut down
The lies! (Jiceiiwood in all this town.
lier virtue-- and ^(khI ipiaiitics wei'c such,
She was wopihy to marrv a lord or a judnc :
^ et such her condescension and hunnlity.
She chose tomari'N' a doctor of divinitv."
On I):-. Hill:
'• And now this Hill, tho" under stones,
lias the Lord's hill to lie on ;
For liincoln Hill has u'(>t his hones.
His soul t he Hill of Zioii."
.\iniui;:- tlic iiKuiiiiiiciits in South Iliiyiini:' i> tlitit
id' Sarah lloLicrs:
" Ye vii'Li'ins lair, youi' ileeiiiii:- ch.arms survey ;
She once was all your tender hearts can say.
Let o])eninL;' I'ose and di^iopiiiH' Ijllies tell.
Like them she hloomeil, and ah I like them she died."
In Devonshire tiierc is a ver.-c, Init no iianie:
" The wedding' day appointed was,
.\nd weddino- clothes providc'd :
Hut ere the day ilid eoine. alas !
He sickened and he die did,'"
()/>;) KiTr.vi'ijs.
113
Kit
111 Luiuloii :
••nereli,.s;tl.,'b,„|y„f William Wn.v
>V ••.•i|)p('<| ii|) in clay.
1 liiivc iKi more lo s;iy."
Aii()ili(.i-:
*■ Un-v licsJaiH' Ivitclicn,
Wl'o, uli<.„ lier o-i.,ss was spent
KW<.^dupI„.r|„.,.|sMn.iaua^slu. went.-
All (.raaiiist, St. Man's C.Hon,.-
" Ih'w lies one blown out of breath
WlH. lived M n.erry lite und died ,i nien-y death."
Roirer Mart ill. •
" 1 fere lies the wile of Roo-e,- Martin •
Sli.' was a i,oo,l wife t.) Ro-er-thafs sartin."
'I'ivcrtoii, Eiiuland:
''Oil ho I Who lie.s here V
'Ti>; I, the uo,.d Karl of I)<.v()nsliire,
With Kat<., my wile, f me full dear •
A\<' liv.'d ton-ether lilty-live year."
fii Oxfoi'dshirt-
"'■'■'■ "'■" I'nlli.'rand in..ther and sisier and 1
Uvall died within the span, of one short vear •
' hey be all Ixnieii except I
And I be l)uricd here."
Safa-h Sexton ;
■'ir«'n' iies III, body of Sarah Se.xton.
Wli.. uasa -.x.d wife and never ve.xe.l one ■
I '"111 I say Ihai of U,,. urW one."
'';''•' '-"•■ ^Vives.-M,, A.leler Chuivl, n.arnVd
'<;"'• "nes: his wives were all luinVd in the .sauie
•''""vhyanl. He niiWeiiook (n ,nuv,> iIkmu. He was
"""'''•'•'•"■" ^^''i<'lMvas Emily ami wl.ieli was Hannah
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114
THE ODD MAX AND III8 ODDITIES.
but being particular, he could uot use the ohl tomb-
stones ; so he had a new one prepared and enirraved
thus:
"Stranger, pause and (h*op a tear.
For Emily Church lies buried here.
Mingled in some mysterious manner
With iMary, ^Matilda, and probably Hannah. "
A sexton's tond):
" Beneath these stones repose the bones
Of Theodosias Grinnn ;
He took his beer from year to year.
And then his bier took him."
[#!;
m
(
■:r
'<>f>i>s A.vij i:m)s.
115
CJIAPTKIi VII.
<>I>J).S ANJ) KXDS.
In ^lii.-cl.aptcr there is ucurmusc
"I .v..e lu.ym,.,..v,.,.,..li,,o.|v |„„„,.,„„, „„,, ^ ^^;^
'"*•' '" ■•'" '""- "' <l- "itly I ,l,e l„.lK.,-ou..
.fACOli Klssi:i) KA(^Hi;l,
Amllin,.,: ,,,, his v„i,,. ,„„1 „,.,,t. Wl.vweepf
Answers In- (iic Kn-lisI, l„,„,. . '^''P •
/'"'■''/ T.-U,j,:,,,u.-^yx liaehol was a pretty ,vi,.|
I .■l.H.MVeel«,n,woea,r,seew,J,,,eL;r';,;
^^lie slapped Lis Huv Fo,- hi,,,.
f "■'^"■';'^'^ .S./o.v..-_Weepi„. is „ol „nf,o.
<ino„tlv p.-o.l..ee<l hy extre,.,e ph-asu.-e. jov and , • ,
i»"-s:it„,i.hthaveheensoinJae.drsea.e '
Ao.<.../o>...V.-__The eai.se of Jaeoh's weepi,,.
-asthe,vCnsal.,all<.whe.-t.,kisshi.na,ai,.. ^ '^
^ <hj /V..v.s.._It is,>aro,)i„io„ that Jac.h u(>pf he-
-nse he had ,..„ kissc-d he,- hefo.-e, a,.<l he was s<„.,-v
for the fi„i,> |,(. Iijid h,s|.
/W/ J/.// </...7/..^The felh,.- wept heeau.o the
)l\\'\ <Iid not kiss him.
^V.7/../;,s7 /^.,,,/o-._Jaeol, wept because Kaehel
'"l'»l,i,„'Modo,tonee,„o.v,"a.,<l he wa,s afVaid to.
yi .
lU) "niK ODD MAN AND HIS ODDrmiS,
"*^I^S^'
►M'",.
I
Siniddj/ ({(izcft)'. — .I.u'oh cried because Raclief
threatened to tell her mamma.
Ch'i'krtnrrll X('ir.-<. — He \vei)t because there was-
only one Rachel tr kiss.
.Jnrhh Cli r>>ii irh\ — -l\v wept for i(»y, because it
tasted s(» i>;ood.
lirlfis/i Sf((n<l(ir(l. — We reckon flacob cried be-
cause I\achel had been initinu- onions.
Xt'ic /f((/(iii<l Ex(nn'nirf. — Our o|)inion is that
.lacob wept because he found after all it was not half
what it was cracked uj) (o be.
Tlir Lidllrs' Chnnilch'.- ~\ mistake; not his eves
luit his mouth watereil.
Fine .1/7 <ii(irffr. He tlKMlU'llt it was I'iist color,
bui wept (o lind the paint came oil".
('Iiiirch Jdiinnil. lie remembered ju' was her
uncle. an«' recollected wluit the prayer book savs on
<'onsiin:iuinit V.
Sjun'tiiKj ( 'hroiiif/r.- -\lv tiiou_L;hi >iie mi;;ht have
a bi:^' hi'other.
/vry;/''>>-. - IJeeause there was no time for jinother.
Musical Xiihs, ^\'il,•n he lifted up his voice he
found it wa- hea\y, and i-onld uol <j:r{ il sd InLili iis he
expcrteil.
Ildjilisl (iiiiih . lie tried t<i impixe (»ii her feel-
in.Li's heeause he \\aute(| her to lend him ti\e shilliuLiS.
Millniilisl \,ir<. lie kuew there wa.-a lime to
weep : il had e(»me. and he dared not put il ojf.
.1 Truer ft, Ml. IJeneath llie <larry \aidl or
ii'olden sun is there auiiiit in nature or in ai'l e([ual to
the rapture and intense deliciou<ness of the lirst kiss?
1 answer, \erilv no. .Jacob had never kissed I'air
"WSff!-
u\ Kis-;|N(;,
117
maiden holorc and his tirsl i-cali/atiou o\ i-rowning
life's delieioiisnt'ss in tliese moments oveirame him,
and he wept l'(»r joy.
I'OI.I'KV Ol' KISSINC.
Ilavinu hcai'd i'roni the [HX's.-^ on kissinu', we will
now have a feu eoii|»lels IVom the |>o(>ts most varied in
theii' eoneeits on all sort> of kisses expressive of all
sorts of sentiments — from Shakespeare to iinonymons.
Phlhiih Iplilii Xnr^. — There are all sorts of kisses,
expi'essi\c of all orts of sentiments. There is the kiss
of the hair, denotim:' revermee, and of a kind that
srcnied i(t >atisfy Swinbnrne. lie says:
" Ivissiiig licr hair, I sat at licr feet.
Wove and unwove it, wouiiii, aiul found it sweet.".
There is a kiss on the foiudn-ad, denotin.u' este<'m,
>n(di as .Mrs. IJi'owninn' nu'iilions:
'Otilv a tear for N'eiiieeV Siie turned as in a passion and loss,
And stooiiini:- to his forelii'ad and kissed it, as if slie were Uiss
iiiij; a cross."
There is a kiss on the ehecd;. i. token of frii-nd-
sliij) ; the kiss on the nose, peeiiliar to the Hottentots.
shiniiiLi' and oleaginous : the kiss on the toes, tendered
to jKtpes atid hahies: the kiss on the lips, expressive
4)[' passiuii. with an e\ehan,u'e of caresses in the ceiitael.
l''rom the lips we lict tlH> best sain|des. and are always
williiiii' to take the whole lot ! Ilerriek knew preeiscdy
where to locale a kiss. lie says:
" p is a ereat\n'e Ituni and l)red
P.elween llie lips, all eiierry red."
So ditl Sam Lever:
•And lie looked into lier eyes tliat were heainhi.u" with li.U'lit,
And he kissed her sweet lips— don't vou tliink he was ri.irht ?"
^^i
w
W'
w
118
TIIK ODD MAN AM) IIFS ODDrTIKS.
I** ^
I
i;
11m
rr
I
Of coiiivo lio was. An Irislinuui generally is,
espocially wlioii \w isn't wroMj*'. TIum-c is the formal
kiss, the timid kiss, tlie ('linniii;>- kiss, the dicaway kiss,
the explosive kiss, and tlie stok-n kiss. The hitter is
the most blissl'id. Leigh Hunt .seemed to know how
it was himscdl':
'■ Stolen swcrls arc alwiiys sweeter,
Stolen kisses niueii completer."
If jnst h('si(h' th(> uarth'n iiatc, l)i'ii:'lit stars and
flutlefinu' lea\es overheiid. the crickets chiipiiiu' in the
jjfrass. the cow-hells tiiikling in the pastiifcs, tlu air
drowsy with itew-nciwii hay, the hi'eath hot and tlu^
bosom swelling:' and heaving', it is csi^'cially rascinatiiiti'.
It is a labial j)astoi"a]. Such a kiss is wofth takinii;
tlie chances of hciny' lii't'd across the lawn in lealhcr-
tocd instalments.
W'v don't mean to say that .lacob kissed Kaclud
beside the garden irate but wc considcf that he was
very foolish to crow about it. imless he critMl for the
same reason that ()liver 'I'wist did l'(tr more.
Kiss and bliss rhyme admirably, and of course
the |)leasinu custom has been well descanted iiiion by
tlie poets, ('aiitos would suri'eit, so we merely yive a
few couplets, those most varied in I heir contents.
Beginniii;:' with Siuikespeare. we take occasion lo^
say that he had no |)atience with kisses that were not
substantial. I le says:
" Some lliere he that sliailows kiss ;
Such ha\e lull a shadow's liliss."
He did not like them diluted, Hyron, on tite
other hiind, considers them rather evanescciil. Ile-
f^MVs:
fc"
ODDS AND KNDS.
119
'• Why so suddenly art gone '?
Lost in the nionu-iit tliou art won.''
AVc Imve heard oF kisses tiii^lint,^ clear down to
the toes of one's hoots, |)ossibly an exa^-<reration, and
yet the same poet mentions one in which he
" Felt the wjiile a pleasing kind of sjnart,
Tlie kissing went tiihcling to his heart."
While Drych-n <>ives them a sort of aftennatli
that is trnly (h'licious:
" The sweetiu.ss iiung upon my lips all ilay,
Like drops of honey loath to fall away."
Drayton hated to In. tantali/e(L lie wonhln't
feed on husks. He wanted the wlioh' iieart thrown
into the operation :
" lli'r poor half kisses killed uk; (piite ;
Was ever man 111 us served V
Amidst an ocean of delight,
For pleasure lo lie starved."
Schiller indulues in an ardent outbreak:
" Wlio made Ihy glances to my soid the link ?
Which make me luuii thy very soul to drink."
'rcunyson is satiated liitle short of ;i di'jug'e:
" () joy ' () bliss of blisses I
Come l)allie me with lli\ kisses,"
Acc(Mding to John livh', ('ampas(|e held winiiin<>;
hand> evei'y lime:
" ('u|ud ind my ( 'ampasiic played
At lards lor kisses; Cupid pidd."
Coipu'ltes are not chary em)n^'h with their kis.ses.
I'arnell gives this couplet:
" 'IMien in a kiss she hrealheil her various arts,
< M' Irilliiig prellil\ with human liearis "
KKf
mii
"♦»»■»»,,.
]20
THE ODD .MAN AND HIS ODDITIK;
Ill
Thomas L(»(|o(. seemed (o luive ti penchant for iu-
ce.«sant kissino.-
" JMy kisses iirc liis daily feast,
And yet lie robs me of my rest.'"
Sir WiHiam Davenaiit helieve<l that their charm
consisted in their nnmhers and their rapidity, (Jatlinj;.
.Clin style:
" Her kisses faster; tliougli uiikiKnvii before,
Than blossoms sweeter, and in numbers more."
(icori-e Withers l)etray(>d the sanu weakness:
" Like d(»ves mc would be l)illin,y,
And clip and kiss so fast ;
Vet she would be unwilling'
That 1 should kisslho last."
Caniphell innh'rstood how precious thcv were
durini;- courtsliip:
" How delicious is the wimiiii,^-
Ot a kiss at love's Ix'iriruiinu'."
So did !>ucknum :
" An<l liapi)y ihiiiiis were said and kisses won.
And serious ^ia(hiess round it went in fun."
Kltenezer Kllioi dreaih'd h>st ca.li kiss niinht he
the hist:
" I ever trendile in my iiliss.
For there aic farewells in a kiss."
I)..dsh"y was williiin' lo take his. whatever the risk:
" One kiss iiefi.rr we pari,
'I'houyii we sever, fund my heart."
('h!irl(.tlc l'\ Ihdcs parts with hers hcurndyinulv :
''All the kisses I have n'wrw \ niMidi^e
From my soul to-day :
And of all I have ever taken 1 woidd
Wipe the thouyhl away,"
<'l»l>.s AM) I;M)s.
121
While Tl.uniiis Canon Im.l tlie inipuden.r to sav
tl'Ht iKMii.ln-l raivlorhisswml.eairskissrs:
" I do not love ilur for (liosc soft
Ifcd cora] li|)s I've kissed so oft."
Kisses aiv nice jnst after a <|.iaiTel ; one foi-ives
■-«• Im.-vIv. At least so lluoh (\,„way tliouuht; '
■■ And if jicr ,.yes are dim with tears,
I iz'rud-c tJieni not their tender lain ;
3Iy love can charm tile misty fears,
And kiss I lie suiisliine hack auain,"
Ashley Steiry saucily tell> ii.> how he would
vent a <|u;irrel in advance:
ore
" And if siie dared her lips to |i(iiil,
Like many pert .Noun.ii- misses,
I'd wind ifiy arm her waist alxml.
And pimisli her witji kisses,"
Author unknown ;
" My Inveaiid I for kisses jiiayed ;
Siie would keep slakes. | was e.,iilenl ;
Hut when slie won she would he p.aid ;
This made me ask her what she meant,
(iuolh she. • Since yoii are in this wran.ylin.u' vein.
Here, lake yniir kisses— nive me nn'ne a,^■aill. '
A little l.oy wa< asked l.y a la<ly. il,,. other day.
''"' '' '^'"'- "<■ ii'iiiiediately coiu|)lie<l ; hut the lad\ ,
'H'lieili- llml Ihe litlle fellnw drew his hand acn)ss lii.^
"P^; '••''iiiiiked: •■ Ah. hiil you are riihhiuu. jf ,,|]V'
y ■"^'"' ' "'"'!•■■ ^V'>'^ ll'<' '|'l="l< H'ply ; •■ r,„ nihl.inn.
il in."
I'rol'. I'daekie (uice chalked (ui his n(.!ice-ie.-ird Jn
<'n|le,nv: ••'idle i.n.fessor is uiiahle lo iiuvl his (diisses
'"-"""''"^^ " A \Vil.L!',i;isli sludent removed the "c "
5.
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I
122
Tin: ODD MAN AND HIS ODDITIES.
leavinjr "lassos." Wlioii the professor rotiiriied he
noticed tlie new rcndoriiii":. Iviual to tlie occasion,
the professor (juietly riihhed out the "1." and joined
in the hearty huiudi with tlie "• asses."
A <reutleiiian, whose custom was to entertain very
often a circK' of friends, observin<>- that one of them
was in the habit of eatinsi; something before grace was
asked, determined to cui'e him. Upon a repetition of
the offence, he said: •' For what we are about to re-
ceive, and for what James Tayh)r has ahvady received,
the liord make us truly thankful."
Tin: MORAL TOJI.KT Toll A vol N(i I.ADV.
The Mirror. S(>lf Kuowhdge.
Tliis ctiridus ulass will briiiu' your I'aulls lo liiilii,
Aiui make your virtues sliinc hotli stroun' and l)ri>i'lit.
Til Siinxifli \l' rill /:/('.■<. Contentment.
.\ daily portion of lliis essence use :
'Twill smooth the lirow and lran(|Uil joy infuse.
Lip Sa/rr. Truth.
I'se dailv lor your lips this precious dve ;
Tiiey'll redden and breathe the sweeter melody.
/y//r U'lihr. ('(im|)assioii.
'I'lie^e dro|i> w ill add u'reat lustre to t he eye ;
\Vlien uii'ic you need, the |)oor will sou supply.
To Prmiil Eritjitioiin. Wisdom.
It calms ihe temper, iteautities the face,
And iiivev Id all a dii;nity and iirace.
f-^ir-riiK/s. .\lteutioi! and Obedience.
With these clear drops appended to the eai',
Instructive lessons von will uladlv hear.
fi^'Cbaiai»ffi^iS>!i-.-'/iJ(B-i ..
"*' '«*'*'• ^t;;
'1
J
A I,()')KIN<i (M.ASS.
Bmor/rfs. Noatncss and Industry.
Clasp tlifni on ciicli diiy you live ;
To ii'ood (Icsiiiiis tliry cllicacv i^ivc.
.1// rj(i</ic < liiidc. I'iUicMlcc.
The nior- in use tiic hriuliici- it will l'tow,
Tlidiiuli \i'i\<\ in nicril is cici-nal show.
liliKj nf Trh'il dnhl. Principle.
"Nielli ihil ;!i;s u'oiiicn circle while yon live ;
'rwil! \if(' i-cstrain and peace of conscience giv(.'.
Pnii-I XrrUurr. IvCsiniinl ioil .
Tliis nihanient enilielli^hes tlie fair,
And leaches all tin; ills of life to I)ear.
f>i((lii(iii(/ llrai^l Phi. I.ovc to All.
Adorn yi'ir iiosom wilii this pi'eeioiis pin ;
It shines without and waiins the lieai'l within.
.1 Trill Tiiiiijtiri;\ I{e,unliirity.
liy this the yo\ithlul fair may leain to pri/.e,
And will improve each moment as it llics.
S(l(cl Hixjin't. ('()in|)any.
liehtiJd ihr gay assemlilaue I hnl beware,
l''iir all are ikiI ;is iiuKieenl as lair.
.1 i i iiivrj'iil Hniiiliii II . I'olitcness.
'rile lurehead neatly cir( le(| with this band
Will admiration and respicl command.
128
.1 I'll riniis hniilnii .
Piety.
Wlioei'i this jireeious diadem sludl own,
Seeures heiself mi e\ crlasi iii'j;- crow n,
I 'iiii'i I'.-iiil III ii iitilii I'. (lood Teniper,
With this el.oiee li(piid gently loiieh the mouth ;
It spreads oil' all tin face the charms of y(nilli.
■1
^t
m
m
124
TMi: (»1»I) MAN AND HIS ODDITI i:s.
MXKS ON (IKNKSIS II., 21-2'J— 15V ( IIAKM-S WKHLEY.
Xot tVoiii liis liciul \v;is woniMii tot^U,
As iTiiuic Iicr IiusbMiid to o'crlook :
Not from liis feet, ms one desioncd
Tlic footstool of ilic stronger kind ;
Hut f.'tsliioiu'd for liinisclf. ;i hridc,
An ('(|ual taken fi-oni his side :
Her place intended to maintain,
The mate and iilory of the man ;
'I'o rest, as still lieneath his arm,
I'roteeted by her lord from harm,
.\nd never from his heart removed.
And only less than ({oil I)eIo\cd
A Scotch uohlciiKiii. scciiiu- ill! old <ziir,lciu>f ,,f In.,
t'stahlisliiiK'iit with n v<>it r;i,i:-,«-(Ml cont. nuuh" some
[mssiiiL: rcnmrk on its condition. •• It's n vcrv uiiid
coat. ' sai<l the honest old man. '•! cannot auTcc
with yon there."' said his Loidship. •• .\v. jts a vcrra
guid coat/" |)crsistc(l the old man : •> it covers a con-
tented sjiiiit. ami a body that o\»c.- no man anvthin-.
and that's mair than niony a man can say of his coat.
t;Ai;i,v i;isiN(i.
"lie who will thi'i\(' must rise al ti\r."
So says the jtroverh. thonuiii there is more rlivine
than reason in it : for if
lie who would thii\-e must rise at ti\c,
It must lollow. (I forfiiiri.
IFe who'd thrive more nnist I'isr at four :
• Mill it will iiifiirc. h forfisshiio, that
JFe who'd still moi'e thrivinii' lie,
Must leave iiis bed at turn of lhr<c ;
And u ho this lattei' would outdo.
Will rousi; him at the stroke of two ;
■Pf
CIIOWINC IlKNs.
12.">
And. hv way of clii.Kix to the uliol,'. it siiciiM >t:m<l
good tlijit
lie who'd novel- Itr outdone.
Must ever rise as soon as one.
15iit the hcst iiliistfiitioii would !)(> thus:
Hi' wlio'd nourish best of all,
Should ncv(;r iio to hod at all.
A |)foniisiiio' youth ol" nine suniincrs. in Western
Massachusciis. at ii school ivceiitly iviievcd iiis over-
hui'ih'ucd uiiiid as foMows:
" Loi'd of love, look dow ii IVoni al)ove.
rpfui us little scholars ;
We have a fool to teach our school
And pay her twenty dollars."
Mu. \'oi,r.\ii:i:. having' paid s(»nu' hiuii coni|)li-
iiniit> to llic ccjchratcd IIall(>r. was told that IlaMcr
was n(d in tlu' hal»il (d' s|)eal<iii-' so favorahly of Iiini.
"Ah!" said N'oltairc, with an air of |)hiioso|)lHc in-
dulu't'ucc. ••!. hire say wc arc hoili of ns vcrv much
mistaken.""
11! i: ( itou INC iii:.\s.
In Koo^lrrland oinc— i Ids was cvcNn aiio
'I'hci-e arose eeriaiii hens who detei'nn'ned In ci'ow.
••These roosters 1,10 jnn;^-." Ihey rejx'ated with scorn.
" Have held a monopoly oxei' ihi' .lawn.
'I'll!' ai!c^ ha\c proii're^scd. and wc heirs, hi,., juivc riiihl.s;
^\ '■ '•■■111 herald I hr day (|uile as well as | he knights.
\\ I'll pelilion llir Siui just to jjvc n^ a show ,
And he'll sei' who ilie loudest and pi'onijitest can ci'ow 1"
The sun their pi 'I it ion acci'plcd ami s.aid :
" ir yon think vou can wake uieontini<'. :.!-o ahead."
'I"he hens wci'c all cliaiined ; hut the xcry next da\-
The c!j:!i' Inisiness e;dled 1 lieii' al t enl ion awav.
<■- '1!PI'
126
Tin: ODD MAX AND HIS ODDJTIKS.
r ')!
And tlic Sun, when ho arf)si' qtiitc lieUitod and slow.
Cried: "Wliilc hens have locat-klc tlicy never can erow.
mohai,.
liCt tlie ladies who seek for the ballot reflect !
The ('l<'<tors more potent than those who elect.
They don't vote ; Imt just think of the " representation "
Of the "sex ' who (•()ntril)ute the whole population.
A Toronto chiuvh was visited lately by a stranuor
on Rahbatli moruini; while the choir san"; that siood
old j)iece:
"Jerusalem, my happy liome.
Name ever dear to nie."
This is what the choir san_i>', but the stranger did not
not kn(»w it ; to him it sounded more like:
" Uue slam, mai> pome.
Name vahde turm me,"
An Frishnian who had on a very ragged coat was
tisked what stuH' it was made of. " Bedad. I don't
know." said he, "hut 1 think the most of it is made
of fresh aii'."
Mistress to sei'vant — '' Did you tell those ladies
jit the door that I was not at home?" •• ^'is. mum,"
Mistress — " What did they say?" St>rvant — "'Mow
fortunate."
.I.U'K AND Ills IIAKD HMT.
" Hallo, .lack ! lia'lo ! Won't you have a drink
this cohl morning." ci'ie(l a bloated-looking tavern-
keejH'i' to a jolly lar, wlio was smartly stepping along
the street.
.lack had formerly been a hard drinker, and had
spent many a dollar in the tavern iu- was now jjassing,
s^ffpSiP^ "j^"
,t-
r
'WW
m
^91*
MAIM) I-r.MI'S.
127
but about a year ago lie had ^ioned the teinperaiu-e
l)le(lge.
"No, huidlonK no. I can't drink; I've out a
hard lump at my side." As the witty sailor siidHiese
words he pressed his hand against his side, addiu-,
"() this hard lump!"
"It is all through leaving „ll' drink," replied
the tavern-keeper. '-Some good drink will take
away your lump. If you are fool enough to keep from
taking a little good liipior your lump will get bigger,
I and very likely you'll be having a hard lump at your
*»ther side."
"True! true! old boy," with a hearty laugh,
resj.(.nde(| the merry tar, as he briskly drew out a
well-Hlled poeket-book from his po(dvet, and hehl it
uj) to the tavern-keeper's gaze. -This is my hard
lum]). Vou are right in saying that if I drink my
lump will go away, and if I stick to temperance I
shall have a bigger lump, (iood-by to you, lamllord.
By (Jod's help, I'll try and keep out of your net, and
try and get a lumj) at both sides."
A judge charging a jury had occasion to make
use of the words mortgagor and mortgagee. The
foreman of the jury asked the learned judge to ex})lain
the meaning of those word>, candidly confessing he
did not know their import. His lordship facetiously
cxpiaine<| them thus:
" I nod to you, you notice nie ;
I'm llic iiod-or, you arc tlic iiod-ee."
Leezii — "Dear n\i\ Hetty, an' is't true what I
hear, that ye're (o be married next week?" Bettv—
" Tweel I wat. woman, an' there's nae lee aboot it.
V2H
rin: odd man and iiiis odditiks.
Ye sec. Lcozie. a mairs an unco handy tliinu- to hae
al)oot a hooso.""
A (•o(|ii(>tto is said to he a })ert'o('t incai'uatiou of
Cnpid, as slic ke('[)s lier hean in a ([uiver.
AN ODD LAW.
Accordinu; to the Now York Trihiiiic, an iinre-
pcak'd hiw of New Jorscy, i)assed whiU> the State was
a Hiitisli colony, reads as follows: ••That all women,
of whatever de<iree, ago, rank or profession, whether
vii'ii'ins, maids or widows, who shall after this act im-
|)oso ujjon, seduce and betray into matrimony any of
his Maj(>sty's sid)jects by virtue of scents, cosmetics,
washes, paints, artificial tooth. fals(> hair or high,
heeled >hoos. shall incur tlu> penalty of thi> law now in
forct' ao-ainst witchcraft and liki' misdomoanoi's."
'■ You may speak," said a fond molher. '■ about
people luivinii' strenti'th ol' nund, but when it comes t(v
the -tren^'th of dmi't iiiiiid, niv son William surj)assos
aii\bodv 1 know.""
A imddm;- i;v i.(»i:i) l;^ i;<)N.
I aiii imt ill youtli, nor in iiiuiiIu»ihI iior ■•■u.c.
Hill ill iiiraiicy ever am know n ;
I am a straiiticr alike to llie t'luil and tiie sa.Lif,
Ami tlioiiiiii I'm (li'-tiiinui^liril in liistoryV iianc
I am always izrcalest alone.
I am iiol. in the earth, nor tin' sun, nor the moon ;
Voti may search all the sky-- I'm not liiere :
In tile morning' anil eveiiinn', thoiiLili not in llie noon,
Voii may plainly perceive me. for, like a liallooii,
1 am midway suspinded in air.
()I)1»S AND r.NI>>.
1-2 !»
I :im iilw.'iys ill riclios. ;mil yd f :iiii tolil,
WcjiUli iic'ci' (lid my iifcsciicc dcsiiT ;
I dwell with the miser, tiioi.uli not with his uold,
And sometimes I •>tiiiid in iiis cliimiiey so cnld,
Thouiih I siTve MS ;i |):irt (>!' liis tire.
I am not in politicid lite.
In my Ml)seiiee no iiinu'dom can he :
And they say tiiei'e ean neit lier l)i' tViendship nor si I'ile
No one can li\c single, no one tai<e a wile,
Withoiil intei'l'eriiiu' witii me.
My hrelliren aic many, and ot'tlie wiioie race
Not one i- more slemh'i' and tali ;
And tiioii.^h not tlie eldesi. I hold tlie hrst place.
And even in dishonof. despair and disiiraee,
I holdjy appear in them all.
Thoniih (li.sease may possess me. and sickness and pain.
I am nevei- in sorrow and iiloom :
'I'honiih in wit and in wisdom 1 eiinaliy reiiiii,
I'm tiieiieaiM of all sin. and have lived lonu' in vain,
1 ne'er shall he I'onnd in the tond) I
ANSWi;!!.
I've read Lord Uyron's famous riddli- o'( r.
Wiiichdoth display much wit inid shinini;' lore:
And as 1 read, the answer did imply
To he no othei' than t he leltei' I.
The well-known Henry Krskine once met an ae-
»Hiaint:iiicc. a hafi'ister, who dealt in liai<l words an<l
eirciiinloentoi'v sentences. Pcrceivinu' that his anUl(\«!
were tied up with a silk handkei'ehiel'. I'j'skine asked
the etmse. " Why. my deaf sir," tinsweted the
wofdy lawyer." I wtis taking a I'omantie raml)le in
tny hrotlu'i's unninds. when, coming to a <>ate, I had to
<'liml) over it . hy which 1 eame in eoiilaet with the
iirst l):if. and have ufazed the epidernds ol' the skin.
-*iif*--<tte"
i;}»)
Tin: ODD MAN AND MIS ODDITIIOS.
tlu' iU'cidt'iit hniiL;- MttciidcM witli a sliuiit cxtrin'Msation
it 1)1(1(1(1.
1)11 iii:n-
ihaiik
voiir lii('k\' stars, I'c
|)lic(l Hrskiiic. that your hrollici's uatt' was not sd
lol'tv as \()iir styK'. or you must have hrokcii your
nrck.""
A Dutcliiiian's 'rcnipcraucc Lecture. — I shall tell
how ii wa.-: I (li'auk uiy lai^ir ; dm 1 put uniic hand
on miuc head, dcrc vas ono pain: den I put uuwv
hand on niiiu' liodw and dcir \\a< anudcr pain : den I
po(d<('t . and t iicrc was noldinu'.
iiui- iiiv hand in iiiiiic
Now Arir is IK
\- \as al
^(i I piu' niKi do dt'inpcraiMH' hccplcs
pain in ndiic head, and do jiain in nunc l)o(i
i;diic awaw 1 |inl ni\' hand on nnn( pocket, and dci'c
So I slay nnl dc dcnipcraiicc
wa- iwcutv dollar
OCClllCS.
Mi
Ion. when
s\ini)al in/cd with on heinu' hlind
from the point of \iew that he could not sec his wife
rt
plied •• 'I'hat he would that he were deal' as well."'
••lu'l'orc we married."" -aid lie. "she used to
av ' l)\ -hve so sw cv
t Iv a- 1 went dow n the step
X
nd w hat does she >a\' now .■' asked a triciid
().
ju>t liie >aine • Iniy. I)U\-
( ). I see ; she exer-
cises a dilVercnl .-pell over you now."
Loi'd Nelson, when a hoy. hciiii:' on a visit at his
auiit"s. went hunliuL!' one day and did not return till
alter dark. The ^dod lady, iniich alannccj, scolded
him severely, sayihii': " I wonder fear did not di'ive
\-oii home." "I'\'arl"' replied the hoy; "I don't
know him."
A dyintr West India pliniter, «i'roaiiiii^' to hi»
favorite servant, siiriie(i out: "All. Samho, I am ^o-
'■.**«#i|iHP» "'TVBfW' ^WH
<»[)i)s AM) i;ni>s.
131
n),L:' :i loiiu' j..iinu'V."" ■• Never mind, uiassii."" siid
the iie-r... (•(.iiM)!iiiL;lv. •• it am all dc way down lidl."
'^ '^i'' '^- :• '-i'' l"i';i"r!iat.--(;inrirv a licjcnali/.e
•' '"'• •'"" =""' '''I"'!' i> li''- •■..nsccratc it with M.Icun
r<'i'iii> an<l penalties, and al'ler all. it"s nolldni;' l;Mt a
'"'■ '' '■"•■- ill*' liiii'l : corriipls the jieople like ;,nv
<'lii«i' !i<'. :iiid hv and l.y the w Idle li-lii. n[ ( iodV trnth
shine.- ihruu-li it and shnw> it to he a lie.
A iii'w prixMi ehaplain wa> recently appointed in
:i -vrtain town in Seotland. He \\a< a man who -reatly
liia^^ldliiMl hi.- oliiee and on .iiierin-' one ol' the eeljs
"" I"- 'ii'-l I'oniid of iii-pretii.n. hr. with i^reat pom-
po-iiy, i hn,- addre.--r.| the pii-onci' who oeeiipied it:
Well. -ii\ (In yun know w ho I am ?"" •• No. .<ir : iioi'
' 'liiiiia I'aiv I" \va> ihe mmeii dani ivply : hnt the
''i'iiiiiii:il -ffim'd a liiile I'oiicili.aiory a few ndniite.<
•••ll''i'\\;ii<i-, and added: •■ W'eel. I hae heard o" ye
'"'l'"i'<'-'" ■■ And what did yon hear?"" empiired (he
rhaplain. hi- eiirio-ity -cilin-' the hetter of Jijs
'li.^'iiiiv. •■ U'eel. I heard that the la.-l Iwa kirks ye
\\:i> ill yo preached tJii'in liailli empty, liul ve'lliio
•ill"! 11 siK'li an ea-y matter to do the same wi" this
.ille."
Two -oldier- layheneath their l)laid<ets. looking'
ii|> at the -tar-. Says Jack: •■What made yon n-,,
into the army. 'I'om?"" ••Well," replied Tom. •• I
I'iid no wife and I loved war. -lack, so I went. Wluit
made you '^n'!" •• \V(dl."" returned .lack, •• I had a
wift', and I loved peace. Tom, so I Went."
132 Tin: ()i>i) MAN AM) Ills <)i)i»i'rii:s.
sTi;iKi:s.
Strikes arc ([uitc i)r()p('r, unly strike i-iuiit ;
Strike to some purpose, hut not tor a ti^lit ;
Strike I'or xour nianiiood, t'oi' lioiior ami tame ;
Stiike riuiit and lelt, till vmi win a Lino:! iiaiue ;
SM'ike I'or your t'reedoiu tVoiu all tlia; is \ ile ;
Strike olT couipatiioiis who often iieii'uile ;
Strike wilh the hammer, the sledu'e and tiie axe :
Strike oil' had hal)its with burdensome ta.\ ;
Siriive out unaided, depend on no other ;
Sfi'il\e without u'loves and your foolishness smolhei' ;
Strike oil' the fettei's ot fashion and pride ;
Strike where 'tis liest.hul let Wisdom deeide ;
Strike a nood lilow while the iron is hoi ;
Strike, keep striking till you hit Ihe liu'hl spot.
Dl!. IVMMONS ON l*l!i:\( IIIN(i. -A ViUlllL:' IIUIII
Iii'viuii' proiu'lu'tl for the (lo('t(H' one (l;i\-. was anxious
to ^'et a word of applause for his hilxir id' love. The
urave (htetor was silent, did not inti'oijuee the suhjeet.
and the youn,^' man was ohlincd to hail the hook for
hiiu. •• i hope. sir. I did not weary y(uir people hv
the liMiu'th of uiy sermon t(>-(hiy."" ■" No. sii'. not at
all ; nor l>y the depth, eitlivr." Lastly, tlu' younu'
man was silent.
.\ lireinan's toast: "'rhe ladies the (n\\y ineeii-
diai'ii's who kindle a llanu' which water will not e\-
tinii'iiish."'
A Ki:i;n IJki'I.y. .lohn Wesley, in a laiiic
party, had Iteeii inaintaininu'. with liical earnesinesr^.
the <lo('lrine that vo.\ pnptili vox Dei auiiinst his sis-
ter. wJKtse talents weic lud unworthy ol the {'aiidly to
which she Itelonju'ccl. \\ hist the preacher, to pnt an
ciiil to the controversy, put his ai'iiiinieiit in the shape
m fc*a
"m^-
■■•mie,.
ODDS AND i;NDS.
1.S8
<ir i! (lictuni. and said: •• 1 tell yoii. sistci'. the voicr
of the people i> the voice ol' (iod.'" " ^'e>."* she re-
plie.l. mildly, --it cried •('riicil'v him! cniciry him!""
A moi'e admirahle answer was perhaps never uiven.
("iiriMii Si.!;i:n;i;s. — •• M(,w shamet'iil it is that
yon shonld fail asleep," said a dnll pi'eaclier to his
<lrowsy andience. •• while that |»oor crealinc "■—point-
ing: to an idi(»i who >lood near iiim. starinu' at him —
" is both awake an<l attentive." •• Perhaps, sir."" I'e-
plied the fool. •' 1 should have been asleep, too. if I
had not Ix en an idiot. ""
><rit ciiAiM.i^s w i:'iiii;i!i;i,i. ani> rm: wksi.iivans.
'•The Wesleyans.'" said Sir ( 'harles one (hiy . as
he had occasion to allude to ihem in the case of La<lv
llewley"s I'harity. •" W'e.-leyan Metluidists. 1 lielieve
they are called, are di>tin,i:iiishe(| hy holdin;.;' the doc-
trine of election." etc. Sonic one joLlli'cd Sir ('harles.
"<Mi. yes."" he repeated. "• the doctrine of election.""
I Lan,i:hler. ) lie was joHLi't'd aiiain. ■• Yes. \'es.""
added Sir ('harlo aiiain, "yon art' riijhi the doc-
trine oj' election."" Sir ('harles was then told andihiv
that he mnst rexcrse his position. " NN'ell. then."'
said he. '• ha\t' it which way yon please. If not
elected tliey onLlht |o he. for tlie\ are the liesi people
amoni:' us.
AN i^\)\) Acr.
ll is recordeil that hy an ancient act of the 'j-ood
(dd Scottish parlianieiil. passed in the vv'x^iw of Mar-
"ai'ct. in the \-car ahoiit Ti^-s. it was
^PI,|Mit,
i:^4
rili: ODD MAN AND II!S ODDITir.,-
OnDKin'r, That (luriiii:' ye vv'iisn oT licr majcst hlcssit iiia-
■ ji'stie, ilka inaidcii ladcc of liaitli liiuli and lev estate, sliall
liae lil)erty to ^peak to ye man she likes. Cif he icluses to
take hei' to lie his wife, he siiall l)e niuiet ii! the sum of an
hundred jiunds. oi' less, as his estail may )),■, e\ee|)i and al-
ways, y:\\' he can make i! a|t])eartliat he is heti'oliiit to anothei-
woman : then he shall Ix' free.
Tiir; Ai,i'ii.\i!i:r.
Tlu' iW(Mit_v-si\ letters (d'tlic iilplmlud in;iy he tfaiis-
]h>svi\ (iL>4.44.s.401.7o;).2;)i».;)(i(l.()()i) times. If all the
tfiiiispositioiis were printed they would make a pile of
hooks ;i thousand feet liiuh ami covei'iuLi' ten i\i-yv> oj'
lifoiiml.
STi;i( I'l.V l,l(i.M, IJl'i.A rioNS.
A Jew. speakinii' of a youuu' man a^ hi^ son-in-
law, was acciiM'd (d' niisleadinn' the e(Uii't. since the
_V(»uiiii' man wa> really his .-on. Mose.-. however, pci-
sistcM that the name he put to the relationship was the
I'iiiht oiu'. and addre.-sinii' the hcncli. ,-ai<l : •• I wa.- in
.Vinsti'i'<laiu two yeai's and I hrce-ipmi'tcr> : when 4
<''Mnc honn' I tinds this lad. Now. ihi' law iddi-v> nu'
t" inainlain him. and con^'ciueiitly he is uiv x.n-in-
hiw."" •■\\'(dl.'" said L(wd Man>lield. ••that i,- the
ht'st dclinilion of a son-in-law I ever Md heard.""
An ulVendcr. heinu' arrcslcd and Itrtui^^ht hd'ore a
nitiii'istrati' on a petty olTeuce, was thus addressed hv
the latter: ".Mi. sir. I sec what you arc I .■.ceihc
i'".i:'ii<' ill yonrl'MccI"" '• Indeed, your worship."' said
the prisoiu'i'. "I didn"t know h(d'orc thill mv I'mcc wa<
51 Inokinu-ii'hiss. ""
In IS,').') .lohn Howard Payne s|)ent so r.c time in
(III' South, and I'l rined the acipiiiintaiicc (d' ii diiiiuiitn-
/■v^V^'^' ^''"'i.
/^-
(»i)l)S AND 1:N1)S.
.)•)
•of Jiidii'c Siniiiicl (iooilc. {)[' ^[()iit;2(MiU'i'v. Ala. An
old autoLi'i'Mitli alhiiiii of hers, imw in |)(tssc>>i(tn of lici'
son. ('ont!iin> the rollowini:' lines in Pavncs liand-
wi'ilinLi', oN'iT his o,,n siiinaturc :
" L;i(ly, your iiniiu', il' iiinlcrslooil.
F,\|)liiiiis your imlurc to ;i Icttci' :
And may y<iu iicNcr cliniiui' IVinn (luodc,
I iilfss, it' i)(iv>ilil(', til hctlcr."
( )n the next paLi'e is a I'esponse. wfilteii hy .Mii'a-
heaii I). Lamar, afterwaid l*fe>ideiit ol' the •"Lone
Star Ivepiihlic" n\' Texas. It fiin> as I'olldws :
I ani (■(intent with licinu' < ieede :
'I'd aim at 'nl/cr iniL^iit he vain ;
lint it' 1 (In, 'tis nndcrstddd.
\Vliat'ci' the cause— it i~- net I'ayiie.
Aim! now to eonie lo llie di'«eit.--i(iii alxutt the va.-e
wldeli staiuU ain(tnL; tlie fail' ladies :
'rile Western one t'rnni a nameless place
IWusiiinuly said, "Wlial a Insclv \ase."
Tlii- W'estei'ii |irononneiation did not exactly siiil
the paii\' I'ldni New ^'(U■k. sd she chipped in :
Deftly lildiiiu reiu'ddl in pi'aisc.
She cries, ""ri- indeed a Idvely va/.e."
The (hdeiiatioii ffoin I'eiin-y l\ania ohjectetl. The
pi'onniM'iatioii (d' l!ie word disa^i'ee(l with lhe(,>nakei'
( 'it\' nuiidei\. foi' slh'.
With eiinseidusness (if iwii ur.'indpiipns,
lAclainis, "It is (piite a 'dVel\ \ahs"
".ItdV."' (d' eoni'se. lets 1 lu' Host on nii'j have the last
Wdi'd. lie knows that diset'etioli is the hettef part (d'
valor, and he lives in llosion. This ^irl says :
'■ 1 (lid net catch youi' remark, iiecause
I was Sd enlraiiced w itii thai chartniiiL;' vaws."
"mm
136
TIFK ODD MAN AND IDS ODDITIHS.
All of which is very odd and cxli-ciiicly ruiiiiy, James
JeH'ry, fur no one knows hetler than the Pioston man
that the real pronunciation is a jui:-.
i{i:v. KonKur iiai.i,.
The celehrated preacher, who believed in the virtue
of a little nonsense now and then, was once reproached
l>y a dull brother of the (doth with the ren.ark : "How
can you who preacdies in the pnli)it as yon do. talk in
su(di a jokinu', triflinii manner."" "There, hntther."
said y\v. Hall, "is the diiVei-ence hetwt'cn us: von
talk youi- nonsense in the pulpit — 1 talk mine out of
it-"
DiDi:.
"Kxcuse me. Miss Sharpe. 1 had (piite fiu'L;-ott(Mi
yii- I !iin so altsenl-uiinded. d(»n"t cher know."
Miss Sharp — " ^'es. I have noticed the altsence of
mind."
" is the tide u'oiui:' out ? " said a sailor to a iicntle-
man who was |iassinii' a house where a marriage had
just 'aken jilace.
The reason why the word " honeynitton " is onlv
aj)plie(l t(t married persons is pi-ol»ahly because the
moon onlv alTects the tie(l.
\V(»MAN INri.lKNCi:.
" Tlicy t.'ilk iitioiit M wdinatrs splicrc,
.Vs tluiutfli il hiid ii liiiiit.
There's not ii plttce in cMrlli or licavcii.
There's not ;i tjisk of nianUiiid given,
Tlicre's Mol 11 Itlessiiin' •"' n woe,
There's not a wliisper, yes or no,
ODDS AND i;NDS.
187
'I'licrc's lint ;i lite, or death, or hirtli.
That lias a feather's weiizlit of worth
Willioiit a woman in it."
The Hi'V. Kowhiiid Hill snid of ;i iiiiiii who knew
the tnitli. 1)111 scciucd jil'raid to pi'ciU'h its fulliicss :
■• He j)i-(':u'ht's the truth ;is ;i donkey iiiiiiiihh'S ;i thistle
— very ejuitiously.""
NO i;i:iMj;(rioNs on \vasiiin(;i'on.
All iiiubitioiis iiiiiu heinti' eleete<l to a Western
K'Lli?^l:iture [ireparcMJ with ureal earo a speech which he
thoiiii'ht would inij)ress his colleagues and |tlea>e his
constituents. lie waited for a littiiiu' occasion, and
then, risiii!^'. heiiaii :
"Mr. Speaker — Wlieii I rellcet on llie ciiaracler of (Jeneral
Washington—" and came to a sud(h'n stop. Heiiimiinii- auaiii,
he >aid :
" .Mr. Speaker — Wlieii 1 rellcet on Ihc cliaractcr of (Jeiieral
WasliiiiLilon -" and auain tiie tailurc of Ids memory lirouglit
him to a sudih'ti liait.
Kor the thii'd lime he attempted to uo on, liut no further
th;ui "W'asliiiiLrton."
" I rise to a point of order, Mr. Speaker ! " e.velaimed a wan'-
ii'isii memlii'r, " It is not in orih'r for a niemher of this liouse
to lie makiiiii' relleetioiis on liic ciiaraeler of (ieiicral Wash-
iiiiitoii."
This siiot hidULilil down the liouse and tiie foructful
niemlier,
.\ uieddjesoinc old woman was sneerinu' at a yoiuiir
inother's iiwkwardiiess with her inraiit. aiul said : "I
(U'clarc. a \\<»iiiau never oiiiiht to have a baby uiiU'ss
she knows !\ow to hold it." "Ntu' a tongue either" wa?^
till' (|iiict ri'ioindcr.
^''" ."^ 'W W:&'
■mm'
1 ;}s
Till: ODD MAN AND Ills ODDITIKS
AN ODD I'Ali: ol' S('ALi:s.
A niDiik, when his rites sncrcdoial was o'er,
111 till' (1(^)111 ol' his cell, with its stdiic-cDVcivd tionr.
ivcsisniiiu' to thouiiiit liis chiiiu'i'ical luviiii.
Oiicc loi'iiicd a coiilrivaiicc '.vc mow shall explain ;
Hut whether In iiianic. or alehemv's powers,
A\ e know not -indeed, 'tis no luisiiiess of ours.
Perhaps it was only hy patience and care.
At leasl, that he hrouiilit his invention to hear.
In youth 'twas projected, hut years stole away.
And ere 'twas coiniiletc he was w linkled and >;ray ;
l>ut success is assured, unless eiierux fails.
And al h'liuth he produced tho.se reniark:!l)le scales,
" What were they ?" you ask ; you shall presently see ;
Those scales were not made to weiuh suii'ar and tea.
<) no. lor such propcrlies >\()iidrous had ihev.
That (pialities, fci'linu's, and ihouiihls they could uei-h,
'I'o.uelher with articles small or immense.
l'"'rom mountains or ])laiiets to atoms of >ense.
Xauiiht was iheri'so bulky, liul Ihei-c it co-ild lay.
And nauiiht so ethereal luit ihere it would slay ;
And nauiiht so I'eliiciani hut in it nuiNt no —
All which sonu' examples more plainly may show.
'I'lic llrsi thiiin- he weighed was the iie.id of \ oltaire.
Which i-etained all tlic w il that had e\ci- been Ihere.
Asa weii>lil he threw in a loi'ii scrap of a li'af
(.'ontaininu- the prayer of the peiiiteni thief.
\\ hen the skull lose aloft with so sudden a si)ell
That it bounced like a ball on the roof of the cell.
One time he put in Alexander the (Jreat,
"Willi a ii-armeni that Dorcas had made for a weight.
And tiiouii'h clad in i.rmor from sandal to crown.
The hero rose up and the li'arment went down,
A lonu' row of Mlms-hoiises, amply endowed
Hy a well-esleemed Pharisee, busy and proud.
Next loaded the scale while the other was prest.
I>y those mites the jioor widow dropi into the chest ;
W^S^
Tin: ODD s( Aij;s.
189
rp llcw llic ciulowiiiciits, lint wciiiiiiiiLi' an (lUiicc,
And down, down, the rai'tliinii-Wdrtli cainc with a bounce.
Again Iii' pcrt'ornicd an cxpcrinicnt fare ;
A inoni<. with austerities, iilccdinu- and liarc.
Cliinlicd into one sfjik- : in other was laid
The heart of our Howard, now partly deeayeil.
When he found vviih surprise that the whole of his brother
W'eiii'hed less, iiy some itounds. th.an the liit of the other.
I>y furlhei' e.xiterinieiits — no in.ilter how —
lie found that leii ehariois wciiihed less ili;in one ])louoii
A sword, with iiilt trappiniis, rose u]t in the scale.
'I'houiih balanced by only ;i ten-penny nail.
A shield and a helmet, a bucklei- and spear,
NN'eiiihed less than a widow's unei'ysl.ali/ed tear,
A lord .'Hid a lady went up in fidl s.ail.
When a lice ch.aneed to liu'lit on the oppnsiti scale.
Ten (hiclors, ten lawyei's, two conrtici's. one eai'l.
Tell councilloi's' wiu's lull of powder and cui'l.
All heaped in one balance, ;Uid sw iiojiiiL;' I'l-oin thence,
Weiu'iied le-.s than a few iii'idiiN of ' andoi' and sense.
A first water ili.aniond. with bi'illian;> Iteuirt ,
Th;ui one liood potato just washed from the dirt ;
Yet, not mountains of silver and u'old would sutlice.
One jiearl to out w eiuh — 't w as the I'eaii of (Jreat I'l'ici'.
L;i>t of all, the w liolc woiid was bow led bi' at the ur.ate.
With the soul of a bcLiiiar to serve for :i weiu-hl,
NVhen the former sprung- up with so .strong .a reiiulV
Tlnit it m:idc a vas' I'etit and escape(l at the roof,
W hen balanced in air it ascended on liiLih.
And sailed up aloft, a balooii in tiie sky ;
While the scale with a soul in so mightily fell.
That it jerked the philoso|iiie!' out of his cell.
Mol! \i,.
Dear reader, if e'er self-deception prevails,
W'c pray yon to try those extraordinary scjiles ;
Hut if tiiey are lost in the ruins around,
IVl'iiaps a good substitute then may be t'ound.
mc'
l-^<' rm: odd man and his odditids.
r.cl judgment :m(l ciinsciciicc in circles he cut,
'I'o wliicli strings of tiiought may l)f carefully put.
[.et tiicsc he made even, with caution extreme,
And impartiality serve as a beam.
Then hiing those actions which jiride over-rates,
-Vud tear u]) your niniives in l)its for the weights.
Tin: itKi.KMors ( ai;d im, \yi;i:.
A priviiti' sdld'hT \)\ till' iKiiiu' of Klchard I^ce
wjis tiikcii l)croi-(' the uiau-istiiitc oi* (ilastiow for i)lav-
iuti cai-'ls in cliiirch diirini;- divine .service, the ac-
count (.; wliicli is njvcn in an l^nglisli joiifiial :
A .'-eri^-eant coiiiinaiidcvl the <old:ei'.< a.l thecluirch.
and wlieii the parson read the |»i'ayef. he took his text,
'["his soldii'i- liad lU'ither llihU' nor i)rayerd)ook. hut
liullini:' out a pack i«t' card.- he spread them hefore
him. lie first hioked at oiu', then at another. The
st'rii'eant oi' the com|tany saw him and said : •■ IJichard,
])Ut up the cards : tin.- is n(> phiei- for them.'"
'• Never mind tluit.'" said ITichard.
AN'hen the x'rvices were o\er the coiistahh' took
Kiehard prisoner, and. hi'ought him hel'ore the Mavor.
••Well."" .-ays the .Mayor, '-what have vou
hroiiMiit the soldier here for? '"
■• l"'oi' playing' cards in the elinrch.'"
••Well, soldier, what have von t(» >a\' for voiir-
.<elf?""
•' Much, .^ir. 1 hope."'
*' N'ery good: if not. I will puidsii you."''
'•I have heen,"" said the s(ddier. "altout six
weeks on the uuirch. I have neither IJihle nor hook
of common prayer : I have nothing hut a pack of
cai'ds, and 1 hope to show your worship of the juiritv
(»I)1)^ AM> i:Ni»-.
1-n
,,f my int^'iitiuns."" Tlim spivudin- the ("inl^ lu'l'.-iv
the Mayor, lie bt'uaii with tlic acf. •• Whm I sec liu'
:ic(' it iviuinds me that thciv is Imt ..lu- (uh\. \\'\wu
\ sec the ducf it iviniii.U me of Father and S,.n.
When I see the tray it remind- me cf Father. Son and
Holydhost. When I see the tuur it rmiimls me ol'
the tunr evangelists that preached. Matthew. Mark.
I.uke and .luhn. When I see the live it remind> me
of the five Viro'ins that trimmed their himps : tliere
were ten ..f them. l)Ut Hve were wise and five were
t'ooli.sli. and were sliut ont. When I see tlie six it re-
minds me of the six day> in whiidi (l(»d nuuh' the
heavens and the eartii. and all livin,-' thin-is. When
[ see the seven it reminds me of the seventh day,
whendod ivsted from the .ureat work wliicdi he had
made. W!i<mi 1 see the ei,--ht it reminds me of the
eiuht ri.uhteons persons tliat were saved when (lod dv-
.<tr.)yed the world hy a flood. Wiien I see the nine it
reminds me of the nine lepers that were (deansed l)y
our Savior : there were nine out there who never re-
turned thanks. When I see the ten it reminds me .)f
the Ten Commandnu'Uts which (iod handed down on
the tal)les of stone. When I see the kin.u' it reminds
me of the .uiH'at Kin.-' of Heaven, which is (iod Al-
mighty. When 1 see the «iueen it reminds me of the
(^n-en of Sheha. who visited Solomon, for she was us
wise a wonuni as he was a man. She hrou.uht with
her Hfty hoys and fifty -in.-, all dressed in hoy's ap-
parel, for Kinti' Solomon ti) tidl whi(di were hoys and
which were uirls. The kin.ii sent for water to wash.
The '-iris washed to the elbows and the hoys to the
wrists, so King Solomon told hy that.
m^
jy
^
142
Till; ODD MAN AND HIS oDDINIilS.
I
••Well," s:ii<l the Mayor, ••you have (kscrihi'd
every cai'd in the pack ('xcei)t one."
•• What is that?"'
■■'riic knave.'' said the Mayor.
'■ I will Li'ive your honoi' •>. th'seriptioii of that if
you will not he an^iry. "
••I will not." said the Mayor, ••ij' you will not
term nu' to he the knaxc."
••The LiTeati'st knave 1 know i> the eonstni)]" that
hrouLi'ht nie here. "
•• ! do not know.'' said the Mayor. •' it' he is the
Liicate.-t knave, hut 1 know he is the L:i'eat''st fool."'
••NN'hen I eoinit how many spots then' are in a
pack of cards I lind three hundred and sixty-tive — as
many da\s as are in a yeai'. \\'hen I count the nuiu-
herof cards in a pack I tind tiftv-two- the numher of
weeks in a year. I tind there are twelve picture cards
in a pack, representliuii' the nund»'r of moiUlis in a
year, and on countiu:^' the tricks 1 lind thirtei-u. the
numher of week- in a <pnirtei'.''
So you see a |iaek of carils <erves foi' a Hihle,
tdmauae and prayerdiook.
i
I think that I have now shown that if it tjU<i's all
scu'ts of men to make a world, that (uir world must he
nearly finished ; that, in fact, it m)W presents an al-
most endless variety of human eonstitntion, human
eharaeter and human eonduet. That in this world we
liave a very jrreat many odd specimens of hein<i's. each
fillinjr Uj) a certain .<j)lu're, and eacli, in some, way
w<»rking out the destiny of our race.
■>mmm t^w^'
I
(»i)i)s AND i:m»>
14S
i
I
As tliere i> iu> <'IhI U> tin- nddilirs :ui<l (rccu-
trk'itie- of ••ur tii.u-s. I think ..!' o.l.l sayiu,us aiul
(lointis, 1 lUH'd ;ul(l ii<» more.
\Vi" plainlv sec tliat t<> each cxtivinc \\\v oIIut is
an oddity: that they arc t.. he f.-uud in all dq-urt-
nu-nts of life, so that while we aiv aiiui.^iii- ourselves,
inn.x'ently. with the i.eeuliaritie> of otlieiv. they may
he. perhaps, this very hour. iun>.eently lauirhln- at
ours.
In all thi<\ve n>ay h'aru ihe ^eees^ity of hrollierly
kindu.'ss. and to he sparin- in nur censures of those
who diiVer from us. Winter, must, of eoui>e. he a
mystery to summer: hut not more so than one man is
toanother. If we had clearer perceptions of the(lif-
fercnces in each others teniperament> and dispositions,
and more of that suhlime •• charity whi<-h thiidvcth no
evil,'' we would h.> more Xvw rv with the errin,--. more
sympathetic with the nid'nrtnna'.'. an. I nn.re -enerous
to all.
I
\
-i\
'■^■'::M/''fj
"%
THE SAXON RACE.
iM;M\ i;;i in |-.i', iiii i.n^i ii;ii;i-- m i--;;\Kl ".\ l:i,\. '•» . il. i i i- .
•«<m i: \\ I i(, (I ! ^ <»ii n ionx.
l;i\. A. r.M.'S-. |l. |i.. I..1.. i'. i'lrshl.Ili \\i^li\;ui I .'1 1 1 i « 's' I .. 1 1, l;, •.
1 1 ■! mill ■■II. I Mil . ' \ r-tii:i!'k;ilili- li'M.K. l-':ni';\ lii'islli'^ willi 11..,;;;^
;i liil ^ill|i||si'-, I |i:i| w ill .■,p 1 \ I hi' s! iiil^ii , ( :in r'x in 1 lir l;is! |i;ilii',
I I In , ■111 run lie II M\ simu'-'l i I '■ I K. I l will iii:il-, c 1 hi' r>';iilir I hi ;iix.
Thi'ii' 1^ li;ir>llv ;i ili\ pii^'r in ilir I !•. "
11- I.I ' Mp-'I . !• I IM 11; - II. 'I' ' •! I'l i|;. '-. 1 I '. " \ W ..| k m| HI 1 'll r.-.r:iri'il
;niii I iri'Miiiil \ .il ii rmi iinMi I w.'ll iii'.rli r\ li:ni ^1 • \ ■■ "1 llir -.I'li ji'.-i ."
Ill ' . .1.1-. W II ii. I', li. ■ \ \r\\ |i..|!!l is ,-;.-;:i:\ pi.i\.'il. 1 vvMilij !,,
li.iil lliiil ;i ri,|i\ .MiiM lir |)i.-|.' ■,| III ihr liiih.l- 1. 1 .'VriA iniiilsl.';
:i ml ill r\ I'lv li.'Msi-. ■
I'm I, ■' I il ..i 1 , 'I 01 ,.iii...' •■ I ii,,. .,| III,. .( ,.|,il,,.,-,ii... |..MMM.,|, I dr.. 1.4. 'i
c| Is. j nisi III Ills \rl llili||s|lr,l .ill Ihls s,|llji.c!."
III! " IIm n 1:1 , ■ riil'.iiil II. "I::! r si i ii'H •! inl i.i:iiiiii :il , .'■
Tm I, < ' \ \ \ III \ N \ !'\ \\' I . I iiriiiil... s;i\ s : " 1 I Is .'I w iiiiilcrjiil I k.'
1; I \ . .M . I . I 1 \ VV Ks. ■■ \ !.;i|.l,rl| . i|lL;,l|l|ril. 11 ,li| I 111 i II I liulv I II I I'l'.'s; .
illU \..|i||hi'. Il i||i\.'s \iii| ill! Ilirl s liiijii whii'li i'li'ii' ;s III
I'sc'i |H , lull I II I'. iii:;!i ilii- ;;i ri|il .'I ! .1' ..| lln ;iiilliiii s pusi 1 jmi,, \,,'i
(.■rl I .Ml ii II ! I li:i! I III' 1 ■■■11 1 I'll! ill ••■•I is w i.M siisi :.i II, i|."
1; I \ . In;. I.. I'. |i v > > s:i\ s, ■■ 1 Iriw liiiiinl Ihili'li |i|r:isiiiT ;i mj I II,,.
III i II ii'.-iili h:i I Ills Im.iK. 1 1 is w III In i hi :i Ii;..s| .ii I n i :i m i i;^ 'i ■■,!
.'..lis I iii'iim iin I in'i ."
!■' I V . I III. I'l, 1 1 ~ I l| 1 ... 1 I . " rilr I ll.'lllr , Is -ii is .i||i. i.| .^li.w i i:.j Mill" .
I'sl. iuhI I'l" 1 1 rill iii'ii 1 .i| il lie:.' Is 1 .r.:i.|i i..iis :iiiil I In .|iii|..;li I'li..
;ii'i'li;('iii..r!i :il ;ii'i:ii iii.'iil s i i.hTspnsr.l .\iili iln- .*iri |.i in ■• lii;..
ami pl-iiiils. ■.i\r 111 liilli-ll \:ill|.. Ii.illi |.i ||||. sliiil.-iil ;|i,il In |||,. _:i.|
fi ;il riMili'i'. \\ .' Ii:i\ .• ji.iiir.Ml i,\.-r i in- jlt^is i,| i ,ii' Ii,h,k \\ ii h mi,i| ,>
than miliiiary |i|r;isi|. ,•. unl \v ,■ lirlirvr iln' .aiillinr iii;iIm s ,,iii j^s
1 ■ ; 1 s ' . "
1; I \ , h:: 111 I Ki ; , . Ivliliir ..I Tin- \i'U 1 nlk ' hrisi 1:1 11 \il \ .ii'.il r s:i\ s
III ■ hi s |ii,.i^ . ■ Till' \ I'liiliii' is Ki',. Ills iiilri rsl Mil;. '
'III 1 r. V \ \ 1 ;: 1.1 I -1; M I : | HlMi shi'.l I 11 1 .1 iliih Mi . K Mu'l.'nnl , 1 ihis : ,,
I he |il|lills||. .1 Icrl nil's III I hi' \\i-\ W . II. I'ii..|r. 1, I.. I I., as |ii||i.\\ s;
" W I I'.'Hi hUllilN I i'|..iliilii ml lliis \,\..rk. ' \ r.;'.. |s;ii.,.' \\ is
w ri 1 1 I'll I'li'ai l\ . i-ai rli|i|\ ;i ihI v i ma iiizlv .'
1; I \ . I , \\ . I \ \i laa 1 I . '■ 1 1 Is .. 1 1 .a r a III |ii'.:iial. 1 1 sr,.||,s i., n,,. ; hii
il |iii|s| -.aifs i-iiii \ |..| mil III till' ir'ihl nl .'\riA I'arilii fi'.aih i'.
Til I > V 1 1 ;;ii \ N N ii.ii I . I'm iiaiii. 'Ill ■ si \ |.. is |,i,.;isi irj .i m| lii'iil, i h.-
ai i-'Miiiciils jnsiiail nl ln'i ir.^ i.ar II I ■'nil as 1 i iiLai^innl iln'V wniiiil
lia\ I' hrc'li, sri'liinil li h'.ir mil 1 111' I' i|ir!i|s|,,|i- In' is i'\ iilcli | | \ sn I,
Mr;, 'rii" i'lras ;ii(' s,i iii^ -iii. lis M n >i ri-. ■] nsi \ •. tlim n ni.'ikrs
ihr \ I'.i.i Isiii'l an lAl iiaiii'i\ i nirr.' •! i lu. n mk in Ii'ihI 'iinl mi,'
I h.al iiii;s| allni'il iili'iisiiir .'iml |iim|ii I n all v hn l.'ikr a n iii I m i st . n
liilih' --I inh .
I'. 'I'lAN.snN, j'.s..., >;i\s " Il lllls Mil' '■ '1111' In ll-||l W j I 1 1 | 1 1 l||.' p.'lsl
l.'W \ I'.'ll - I lial I 111' \ ir^jn s;| yiil, |:|, ,. ;|| ,. I ,.;|||\ ;|;|,| ||.|||\ ] | | ,,,,.',.; |
I llhrs."
■|iif: |iiii;nn Tkiium. " Thn pn imiii'iil ri-,|.|i'i wh.. >iarls |..ir;i,l
I III' I I-. stall lis ill ilaimiT 111 liriiiu' ' .m\ iim ''I In spiir ,a hiinsi M.'
liii, I 'iiMiMi l.ii I . Iii'i I nil . "Till' I "ri 111!"- .Ill' lull III 1, 1 1 I'll' si ami
u ill In 'III I III' al I I'll! i nil n| I In I'l'inliT II -liii lii'si in l.'isi,"
l!i \ . \. .1. II V i: 1 1 I N , I'll si IS I, Till 1 1 MiiiisiiT. jii'.'ir sir, "l i haiiK smi
Inr \nl|r splmnliil S\nrk. \.ill llli >■ Illl'nW n ,'l llnml n| lr_;lil nil iiiaiiv
llllSi'liri' ji; il|l||.i'll"i nl l|nl\ '.V III
I'lim , l»\v, I'liiil ian, MISS. "IwmiM imi p.'i ii w M h \ mir Imh ik " \ii-
Uln Israi'l " Im mir liiiinlii'il ilnllai s, n | rmihl mii ^ri ainii litT."
Ki \ . I!. \ 1. 1 III I,, I'lrshv li'i'ian Minisim, W liHi ( i i v , KaiiMis. "1 liki^
Villi 1' I II ink r\ IT sn llllli'li. .''I'llil llli' ,'l mil lli'l rnp^ . "
^■r?:
W^'.-
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