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 I 
 
 
• lA \ ,? 
 
 C\ 
 
 
 
 THE 
 
 "SMDFIELDS: 
 
 -oo}*;o»~— 
 
 I 
 
 
 I 
 
 ^le cantiog knaves their idle wealth 
 Obtained by lying craft and stealth, 
 Gie brainless fops and silly flirts ^ 
 
 Their paltry toys and gaudy skirt?, ^ 
 
 'To holy men and sinners too 
 Accord alike whate'er is due ; 
 But gie oh gie the Dei! his aio 
 The bloody Sandfield robber gang. 
 
 '■:i 
 
 r'h(^ 
 
 if:-; 
 
 
y^^. 
 
 THE "SANDFIELDS." 
 
 Gic cantiiicj Icnavcs their idle wonlth 
 ObtainuJ by lying craft and stealth, 
 Gie brainlot'S tups and silly flirts 
 Their paltry toys and gaudy skirts, 
 
 To holy men and sinners too 
 Accord alike whate'cr is duo ; 
 But gie oh pic the .Ddl liis ain 
 The bloody Sandiield robber gang. 
 
 THE "SANDFIELDS. " 
 
 Professor Bradsliaw.— Good eveninrj Mr. Elderna|), 
 I am liappy to find you at home. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — Good evening Mr. Bradsliaw, I am 
 delighted to see yon, mxionsly awaited your 
 arrival, and I trust yi u will now iind the air 
 and retirement ot these gardens as cungenial 
 to your tastes, as they are agreeable to mine. 
 
 Professor Bradsliaw. — Yon need entertain no fear as 
 to that Mr. Eldernap ; for 1 have ever love'* 
 the tranquility of a (lothic villa airiid rural 
 scenery : around it, and away from the bustle 
 of city life, there seems to linger a charm to be 
 found nowhere else, and when T look out from 
 this drawing room on the moonlit-scene 
 before me, and listen to the ri])])ling nnirmur 
 of the woodland stream as it winds its silvery 
 course througli yonder ])eaccrul grove, 1 can- 
 not but admire the sweet and silent beauty 
 that surrounds us and he deeply im])ressed 
 with the sublime grandeur of IS aturc's works. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — Our conceptions and impressions, Mr. 
 Bradshaw, are identical in this respect, and 
 
r# 
 
 K.'! 
 
 ^:h. 
 
 .'X 
 
 from tlio Himiljirity of onr feelings I liad cer- 
 tainly lluttcrcd inysulf that you would ho 
 pleased with niy retreat : it is he 'o of late years 
 tiiatl spend the most of my time : for it is well 
 adaj)ted asyou perceive for contemplative 
 study and historical research. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— Notliing Mr. Bradshaw could 
 1)0 more so, coidd ho more adapted for the 
 acquisition of historical knowledge, which is 
 no douht with you a favourite literary pursuit. 
 
 Mr. Eldornap.— Yes I ain much attached to it, and 
 the study of political economy. 
 
 Trofossor Bradshaw.— A delightful study the latter, 
 Mr. Elderiiap, and one which has afford d 
 mo the greatest pleasure. 
 
 Mr. Eldorjiap,--Indccd Ih: Bradshaw, our literary 
 inclinations arc then tliesamc : en some future 
 eve?iing wlicn you shall have recovered from 
 the fiitigno of your journey I shoiild be happy 
 to learn your political views, the more so, Mr. 
 Bradshaw, that during the long interval we 
 liave l)cen separated y'ou must have acquired, 
 from study, from observation and experience, 
 a vast fund of information especially as regard 
 continental politics and their bearings. 
 
 Professor Bradsliaw.— It will afford me much plea- 
 sure Mr. Eldernap to gratify your desire, for I 
 Jiave certainly very much pro'lited of late years 
 by my travels in foreign lands. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— No doubt Mr. Bradsliaw, for it is 
 many years tluit wo have been separated, that 
 we have been dcl)arred the pleasure of one 
 another's society. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— It is now Mr. Eldernap, let 
 me see, about a quarter of a century. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Yes, I presume it is, Mr. Bradshaw, 
 do you not perceive many changes in this 
 locality since then. 
 
 
 tW.M.^iiJ»-.». 
 
Profo=3oi* Bradshaw. — Many iiulcod, Mr. Eldornap, 
 in science and a;i;ricnltnrc, in literatnru and 
 art, hut not at al! as many as 1 Avonld c.\i>ect 
 to iind anion*^ self reliant aiidenor[?otic Scotch 
 men ; the roads, for instance, tlio tirst element 
 ol'luinuin eivili/ation, are a scandal to tlio 
 country, a disgrace to the pe<> )lo, and it very 
 much astonishes mo, M". K dernap, thatits 
 representative, (wlioever lie may he) lias not 
 devised some means or other lO render at least 
 one highway passahle at all seasons of the 
 year. ' 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.-— It will ustonish you the mure Mr. 
 
 Ih'adshaw upon learning that ho^ and the 
 
 whole lauiily owe their very position^ and 
 
 , ■ existence to the kinducss and generosity of 
 
 the Highlanders of Glengarry. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— Is it possil)le Mr. Eldernap 'i 
 IIow conies it then that he neglects the interests 
 of his constituents 'i 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Simply, Uv. ih-adshaw, that the 
 ohject of their kindness and generosity is too 
 seltish, too much devoted to his own interests, 
 to consult the interests of the i)eople afc large ; 
 if a few dollars were to he made hy speculation 
 the acquisition of them would ho of more, 
 importance to him, than either the condition 
 of the roads or the welfare and the prosperity 
 of the community. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— How long then, has ho held a 
 seat in Parliament, and were ho or they the 
 means of elfecting any good which might atone 
 for his negligence in the one respect and his 
 selfishness in the other 'i 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— For near five and twenty years, Mr. 
 Bradshaw, has the representation of this Coun- 
 ty remained in their family and during this 
 long period, instead of effecting any ^ood, they 
 have infiicted immense evil politically and 
 otherwise : all in fact our representative can 
 
hoast of, is that havinrr oncn procured at a 
 Hucntico from u wrockod atoiiincr a (juantity of 
 paraHol.s and j)ninulla boots lie imported ti)cm 
 Ih'iK'o wifh some mitmof,^ molasses, codfieh 
 uml candy, and cxliihitcd them as new and 
 fjishiuiiable articles of njcrcliandiso direct from 
 the far faii>ed east ; ajid it is almost unnocos- 
 sary to state, tliat ho has retailed and still con- 
 tinues to retail the sume at a scandalous figure. 
 
 rrofosftor Hradshaw.— Why, Mr Kldernap, ho must 
 1)0 the vilest of scavengers ! 
 
 Mr. Kldernap.— You could not possibly regard him in 
 aiiy other li^dit, and, were you only acquainted 
 Avith his seliishness and his pride as well as I 
 am, you would hold him responsible not only 
 ]or the backwardness of this county, but also 
 f(»r the tardy progress it now makes in social 
 economy and the development of its resources. 
 
 Professor Hradshaw.— Indeed, Mr, Eldernap, you 
 surprise mo nuich. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Tis nevertheless true, Mr. Eradsliaw- 
 AVnil you not refresh yourself with a glass of 
 .wine? 
 
 IVofessor Eradshaw.— With pleasure Mr. Eldernap. 
 Your health and happiness. 
 
 Mr. Eldornai>.— Thanks my dear Sir. I shall join 
 you and drink to your safety and return. 
 
 Professor Erad-liaw.— A\^ell then, Mr. Eldernap, are 
 no changes as yet contemplated which would 
 tend to the amelioration of the state of society 
 here ? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— None to my knowledge, Mr. Brad- 
 shaw, of a beneficial nature. 
 
 Prolcssor Bradshaw.— I should think, Mr. Eldernap, 
 that such would be desirable, the more so as 
 we find here in all its Highland genuine 
 perfection, that generous spirit of hospitalit-^ 
 
 StSMtmmn 
 
6 
 
 which lends the sweetest charm to existence, 
 whicl) endears tlio society of stranger and of 
 frieiul, and alleviates the cares and the trials 
 of this life. 
 
 Mr. Elderna]-).— Certaiidy Mv. Eradshaw it would 
 really bo gratify iii<( to learn of the introduc- 
 tion anion^Mis of chauijes in social economy 
 and domestic life, which would ])rovo coudi'i- 
 civo to the ^'oncral weliaro of tlie community, 
 and hononrahlo to the spirit ami enterprise of 
 our public men. 
 
 Professor Ih-adshaw.— J entirely aureo with von Mr. 
 Eldoriuip, but the history of mankind de- 
 monstrates clearly that such changes as you 
 speak of are seklom silently eifect(Ml iii the 
 social ard political history of a people. Yet 
 Mr. Eldernaj) if evidence of a desire to intro- 
 du'^o such reforms were afforded us, even by 
 such a character as the representative of this 
 County (whoever he may be) even by one 
 whose political career had over i)een at va- 
 riance with time honoured maxims and the 
 cherished traditions of J'iitish rule ; would it 
 not afford valid cause for con<,a'atu]ation, and 
 commend the character of the man at least in 
 this respect to the approbation of every true 
 lover of his Country i! 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Yes Mr. Bradsiiaw, undoubtedly it 
 would; but if instead of tliis, if in the absence 
 of such praiseworthy designs, wo perceived 
 one here who, wliile professing' spotless inte- 
 grity aud honourable inlentious, was a desiyii- 
 ing knave and a secret robber of our wealth, 
 if we dady beheld one who while decrying; 
 strife, while p/eachirig cliarity, wli-ilo praisino- 
 chastity and proclaiming truth, \^as the plui? 
 derer of onr peace, the maligiier of our repu- 
 tation, the deiiler of female' purity, the moraV 
 murderer of innocence, the unblushing lying 
 hypocrite and the cowardly upstart assassin ; 
 if, I say, we beheld such a one betraying our 
 interest, impeaching our honour and 
 
hartcnng our reputation as a people to 
 prevent tlie downfall of liis despotism, to 
 perpetuate his iron rule and promote his 
 own ai^'i^rnndlsenient among a noble but 
 niislaken_ people, would it not kindle your 
 indignation iiiflanio your anger and impera- 
 tively entail on every luniest man the necessity 
 ol exposing the danger he saw threatening and 
 surrounding the peace, the weliare, the hap- 
 piness and prosperity of his native place i* 
 
 Professor Bra dshaw. -It would not only impose the 
 duty indicated by you, but the man wdio 
 would neglect to discharn-e the same, would 
 be gmlty in my estimation of a grave offence, 
 would transgress all law natural and divine, 
 and render Inmsolf the deserving object of 
 boundless contempt. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— It is lor these reasons Mr. Bradshaw, 
 that we propose at no distant day to avail 
 ourselves of tiie classic calm, and the shady 
 tranqudity that surround us here to brand with 
 deserving infamy a brutal scorpion that 
 satiates his wa-atli on the houseless widow, 
 and llie homeles orphan ; to depict in a word 
 the chameleon character of that most disgust- 
 ing political abortion of the nineteenth cen 
 tury — 
 
 Tlifit vile silly a«s, :v.k1 that ignorant member, 
 Whyiu insulted religion will long, long romembor, 
 Well known far and near on his own native clay 
 As tlie overgrown buby, the base born D. A. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— What, Mr. Eldernap, did you 
 say " D. A." Is he your representative, D. 
 A., the being, if I mistake not, whom I saw 
 on the Bcauharnois Canal instigating the mas- 
 sacre of unfortunate Irish exiles, and after- 
 wards had a contract of the Montreal Water 
 works, where, I am told, he swindled the 
 Corporation out of some £40,000 or £50,000. 
 Is he your representative ? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— -r.ic very Identical monster. 
 
people to 
 jspotism, to 
 >romote his 
 
 noble but 
 viudle your 
 .nd imp era- 
 he necessity 
 ateiiirig and 
 e, the hap- 
 place ? 
 
 impose the 
 man who 
 wne, would 
 ,ve offence, 
 and divine, 
 ; object of 
 
 Bradshaw, 
 ly to avail 
 the shady 
 3rand with 
 pion that 
 3s widow, 
 in a word 
 St disgust- 
 eenth cen 
 
 inber, 
 
 ;• remember, 
 ivc clay 
 .A. ^ 
 
 ), did you 
 tative, D. 
 lom I saw 
 ; the mas- 
 md after- 
 al Water 
 idled the 
 £50,000. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — Good God, Mr. Eldernap, when 
 will miracles cease ! I saw him only a few 
 times, but the impression of his character left 
 on my mind, from the lcn;j;-th of his cars and 
 the peculiar sinister expression of iiis coun- 
 tenance, rendered more hideous by his thievish 
 looking eyes, was certainly of such a nature as 
 to inspire me with I'he belief that he was a 
 beinci: that no man with the sli^litest self- 
 respect, with the least pretensions to common 
 sense, would ever associate with. I am 
 ^ninderstruck at your having such a member. 
 jle is not a man. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — It is a Rubject, Mr. Bradshaw, of 
 painful surprise, not only to you but to many; 
 and humiliating in the extreme to reflect that 
 such an animal parades himself as the Glengary 
 Salon, while in the Legislative Halls of our 
 Country he sits an Egyptian Mummy, the 
 dumb connecting link between the monkey 
 and the man. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — Mr. Eldernap do you really 
 regard him as such 'i 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — I do Mr. Hradshaw. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — Arc you not aware, Mr. 
 Eldcrna]), that you are thereby exposing your- 
 self to the censure of grave philosophers for 
 questioning their well grounded belief, and 
 generally received opinion among them, that 
 such a being is more allied to the monkey 
 tribe, than possessed of anything which could 
 establish his relationship to the human species? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — I am conscious, Mr. Bradshaw, of the 
 danger, T am exposed to in diiiering from my 
 brother philosophers, and though I admit that 
 lie is possessed of nothing which could legally 
 establish his possitivc connexion with the 
 human species, I nevertheless hold to my 
 
8 
 
 % ' 
 
 opmion. Morever, Mr. Bradshaw, he has not 
 cc tail— that essential perquisite of the monkey, 
 neither has any of the family. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— True, Mr. Eldernap, hut hein"> 
 an older resident here than myself, you mus*t 
 remember that it is reported on good sound, 
 substantial authority, that tlieir grandmother 
 wiio kept a groggery, a wortliy personage, I 
 believe, well known in her time and still re- 
 membered as the" change avecJc" cut them 
 olf asa compensation for stolen whiskey, which 
 they were extremely fond of. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— The report, Mr. Bradshaw, is no doubt 
 true. I believe it to be true. Yet for the 
 honour of old Glengary, I am still inclined to 
 look upon him as a rara avis, as indeed the 
 dumb connecting link between the Monkey 
 and the Man, between the brute creation and 
 that portion of animated nature, which a wise 
 and benificcnt Providence endowed with reas- 
 on and with speech. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— We will not dispute your hypo- 
 thesis ; the more so as we ourselves belong to 
 that honourable class of philosophers who are in- 
 clined to view men and things in as mild a spi- 
 rit and favourable a light as possible. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— So do I, Mr. Bradshaw, belong to the 
 same iionourable class, and glad indeed would 
 I feel, could I point to one redeeming quality 
 in his character ; for like charity, you know, 
 'twould cover a multitude of sins ; but alas, Mr. 
 Bradshaw, it grieves mo to tell the world, that 
 I cannot, for from early youth to sober man- 
 hood, his moral conduct has been as low and 
 base, as vulgar and detestable ; as his political 
 career has been degrading to the soul and sick- 
 ening to the heart. I love justice as I hate in- 
 iniquity ; and would to God, Mr. Bradshaw, I 
 could even find in the circumstances of his 
 birth, in the character of the crude and meagre 
 instruction he received, in the rottenness of nis 
 
» 
 
 rusty brain and the stupidity of his clouded in- 
 tellect, something to plead in extenuation of 
 the character of the man, but alas ! alas ! my 
 God I cannot; Mr. Bradshaw. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — What, Mr. Eldemap, can noth- 
 ing be found in the accidents of liis vulgar 
 existence, which could mitigate the depravity 
 of the monster 'i 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Nothing, Mr. Bradshaw; and from my 
 knowledge of the nature of the animal, I am 
 satisfied that his brutal propensites altogether 
 predominate over whatever little reason or in- 
 stinct he may possess. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — I should think so myself, Mr. 
 Eldernaj), were I to judge from the conforma- 
 tion of his carcass and the pig like-structure of 
 his skull ; but who, Mr Eldernap, was his worthy 
 progenitor ? I am sure it would be interestin*^ 
 to know the amalgamating process by which 
 he was begotten. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — All we know of his paternal ances- 
 tors, is that one " Alek Ban Pedlar " was his 
 father or reputed such. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— What, Mr. Eldernap, Alek 
 Ban Pedlar ! The name sound familiar ; 'twas 
 certainly familiar in other years. Alek Ban 
 Pedlar, was he his father, the father of the 
 Sandfiolds ? Pray Mr. Eldernap what was hia 
 character ; for it strikes me very forcibly that 
 he is the individual so notorious some years ago 
 for his prayer Book speculation, whereby ne 
 receivea the subscriptions, pocketed the cash 
 and retained the books. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— The very same, Mr. Bradshaw, but 
 as the unfortunate peddling founder of the 
 Sandfield dynasty is now no more: as he sleeps 
 with the unhonoured and the forgotten dead ; we 
 will not revive his memory by recalling to the 
 minds of the rising generation the low cunning 
 
10 
 
 and the foul deceit, the thievish propensities 
 and the liellish hypocrisy, the grovelling sen- 
 suality, and the brutal amativeness which 
 blasted his reputation when alive ; and I fear 
 damned his soul when dead ; for the legacy he 
 bequeathed us, the harpy brood he left behind 
 him have, God knows, sufficient murder, suf- 
 ficient blood and rapine to account for with- 
 out the blackened vices and the infamous career 
 of their detestable father. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— I commend your prudence 
 Mr. Eldernap, and approve your charity to the 
 dishonoured dead, but I nevertheless maintain 
 that, as a God of Justice, in his infinite wisdom 
 ordained the visitation of the sins of one's 
 fathers on the heads of their descendants, till 
 their vices would cease to cry vengence from 
 the grave ; so there are times, Mr. Eldernap, 
 when forbearance against the living becomes 
 a crime, a crime against society, a violation 
 ot the laws of moralty and the ordinances of 
 God. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— True, very true, Mr. Bradshaw and 
 It is on account of these considerations, so 
 truthfully assigned by you, that we propose 
 exterminating this vile and vulgar Sandfield 
 crew, by consigning them to the pillory of scorn 
 and scourging them with the lash of infamy and 
 (teatii. c 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.— I admire your spirit and revere 
 your patriotism, Mr. Eldernap ; and if the 
 other members of the Tribe are as vicious and 
 bloodthirsty as the crimsoned butcher of 
 the Beauharnois Canal, in their chastisement 
 you will indeed be conferring a benefit on this 
 country, which the Canadian people will not 
 fail to appreciate, for which the lonely orphan's 
 silent grayer will ascend in gratitude to Hea- 
 ven ; tor which children yet unborn will bless 
 your memory, and hand down your name to 
 posterity as the benefactor of your race, as the 
 guardian of their welfare and their peace. 
 
 •^^rr^' 
 
11 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — ^Tliey are all equally corrupt, Mr. 
 Bradsnaw, for what one of them lacks in 
 brutality, the other is sure to account for, in 
 rascality : and when I shall have discharged 
 the duty I have imposed upon my myself, 
 a duty which in the sacred silence of eve I 
 solemly swore to perform at the altar of 
 Faith, at the Hallowed shrine of a crucified 
 God, my best reward, the only reward I could 
 desire in this world, my greatest consolation, 
 the consolation I should love to experience 
 in the winter of life when the sunny spring 
 of youth and the golden autumn of manhood 
 have gone by, will be, Mr. Bradshaw, the 
 solacing reflection of having promoted the 
 welfare of my friends, of having contributed 
 to the prosperity of my native place, and of 
 having fearlessly and conscientiously fulfilled 
 my obligations to society at large. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — The wise man's consolation and 
 the christians hope, Mr. Eldernap, a consola- 
 tion and a hope which have cheered the heart 
 of many a patriot in exile, and soothed the soul 
 of many a martyr in the agonies of death. 
 But how, Mr. Eldernap, did the crew succeed 
 in elevating themselves to their present posi- 
 tion and retaining it so long ? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — Your enquiry, Mr. Bradshaw, is more 
 easily proposed thaii satisfactorily answered. 
 , It has really been a matter of surprise to many 
 worthy men how they did succeed, seeing that 
 their endowments so much approximate to 
 those of the brute creation. Ihe majoritv of 
 people, I believe, are inclined to attribute their 
 sudden rise from the degraded condition of 
 their ancestral state, to accident and the freaks 
 of Fortune ; and consolidated by the influence 
 which wealth is sure to command in a rural 
 community, however dishonourably "acquired 
 or thievishly procured. There is, no doubt, 
 a great deal of truth in this view of the case, 
 but besides this we ourselves have good and 
 
12 
 
 sufficient reasons for supposing that the Insti- 
 tution known as the family compact, the rotten 
 remams of which yet obstruct the welfare of 
 our commuuity, had a great deal to do with 
 their material prosperity and success. 
 
 The;^ ushered themselves by some means or 
 other into the order, and once in, being 
 naturally selfish, they were not slow to avail 
 themselves of the opportunities afforded by 
 such an a banco m those days and to secure 
 to themselves a vast preportion of the plunder. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.-Well, well, Mr. Eldernap was 
 this the secret of their rise ? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.^Yes ! Mr. Bradshaw, 'twas the pri- 
 mitive source of their prosperity and what 
 
 and theft '"^^ ^ ^^ ''^^''^^ ^^ '""^^^'y 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.-What, Mr. Eldernap, were 
 lTn«f^''''^ *^' ^'^"^"°^ ^^^Ith by these 
 
 Mr. ElderDaiK--Of coupe fMr. Bradshaw, being 
 gambhhg thieves by nature, their pigmy intef- 
 Tects were adapted for nothing els? tiian the 
 prosecution of this their natural trade. 
 
 Mr. Bradshaw.-Wonderful depravity, "Mr. Elder- 
 nap ! many indeed nd notorious must be Z 
 instances of their pulaging. *'® 
 
 Mr. EldernappSo many and notorious, Mr. Brad- 
 
 tlT'tW -^ -'' too n„„,erous' to ment on, 
 that their miurious effects will outlive their 
 memory and be sorely felt by generations yTt 
 
 emWaS^ij'^*"* ^''' ^°^^""^« ^« «^« lonely 
 emigrant Jandiiig on. our shores from the 
 
 green vales of fiin, and robbed of S Hghts 
 
 homeste^ S' r' *^^' *^^« ^""^"^^^ highland 
 aomesteads of this county, and turn to their* 
 
 a__ MHK iQQm ^^„ i^ausQd their mournful 
 
 *-;«>«»"-i*<fc... 
 
13 
 
 It the Insti- 
 
 t, the rotten 
 
 welfare of 
 
 ! to do with 
 
 ss. 
 
 le means or 
 in, being 
 ow to avau 
 fforded by 
 I to secure 
 »e plunder, 
 
 lernap was 
 
 s the pri- 
 and what 
 •y robbery- 
 
 nap, were 
 I by these 
 
 w, beiag 
 jmv intel- 
 3 than the 
 e. 
 
 "r. Eider- 
 list be the 
 
 rr. Brad- 
 mention, 
 live their 
 itions yet 
 
 he lonely 
 from the 
 lis rights 
 lacklegs. 
 Jighland^ 
 I to their* 
 le grave. 
 nouTDfui 
 
 desolation and their heart-rending ruin, who 
 , plundered their eifeets under the guise of law 
 who deprived their youthful offspring of a 
 peaceful home ; who blasted the cherished hopes 
 of maiden innocence in the flowery spring of 
 j^outhful love ; who lauo-hed at the dying 
 injunctions, who mocked the ardent interces- 
 sions and scoffed at the fervent aspirations of 
 hoary age in the agonies of death ; but no, 
 Mr. Bradshaw, we will refrain from doing so, 
 'tis too sad a subject, too mournful a theme, 
 we will simply ad/ert^to the burning and the 
 plundering of the Kobert Peel, as one of the 
 most lucrative of their cruel and their shame- 
 ful robberies. By t)us scandalous transaction 
 alone, eflccted by their skeleton chief, the 
 whole gang were suddenly enriched, while 
 the blame was attached to, and the robbery, 
 to this day, generally fathered on the unfor- 
 tunate Bill Johnston and his followers. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw. — The burning and plundering 
 of the "Peel ", Mr. Eldernap, I well remember 
 the shocking event ; but little did I suspect 
 the real authors of the rolot. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — You may well say so Mr. Bradshaw, 
 and little did others too, for few, very few in 
 those days ever dreamt of the possibility of 
 such rascality being enacted. However the 
 amount stolen enriched them all, and im- 
 mediately thereafter enabled their grim and 
 crafty lec^ler to' sport a pair of white ponies, 
 to the jealousy audsurpiise of Cornwall pups, 
 and the gi-atilication and delight cf Cornwall 
 flirts. 
 
 Servant Flag, — A visitor, Mr. Eldurnap! Shall I 
 bid him enter ? 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — Yes, Miss l^lag. 
 
 Mr. Elderaap.— Oh ! Mr. Fairfield, I was not aware. 
 
 • it was you, I am happy you have arrived. 
 
 Allow me to introduce you to mv friend : Mr 
 
t* i 
 
 li 
 
 !;; J 
 
 14 
 
 Bradshaw, Mr. Fairfield. Mr. Fairfield Mr 
 Ssior^''""'''"^ "''''^'' of the legal 
 
 ^''^"'T.S'''^'^''^;T^"^^^^- Mr. Fairfield permit 
 nL « f "f f "^«te you on the choice yon have 
 
 Z\: ^'^ ^'^'''. ^7^^ ^-^g^^'ded the study of 
 tlio law as one of the most useful, the most 
 refined and dignified oilniman puiu s -and 
 when devoted to its study in the Voper S 
 and the proper disposition, nothing I think 
 
 mind to X^rr'""^ ''• ^^fi"^ *^«'"'™«^ 
 .rse'n^nS."^^ P^^'^^P^-- -^ strengthen 
 
 Mr. Fairfeld-Yes Mr. Bradshaw, 'tis astudy which 
 
 eftt?.PnnT"*f ^ "' ^^" '^y «h^"^d have those 
 ettects on he human mind, should preclude 
 
 tenr^.?^ f,¥«tti%ing, andinWiably 
 beget aprofound kliowledge of human nature. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap-Without flattering myself gentlemen, 
 or laying claim to any vast legal acquirements 
 to thp' llZ '^X<'''''^^^^^^ex^eneiice, certify 
 to the truth of your remarks; but deferring, 
 tor the time being, our encomiums on law 
 
 !^rl!!l\ • ' J- r''^^ '"^fe'^^t "^y friends the 
 propriety of refreshing ourselves with a small 
 decoction of life's liq'uid. What do you pre 
 fer, Mr. Fan-field ? tour are not I presume a 
 teetotaler for lawyers, like all poets,^arTg^net 
 
 Sheirpl'" *^/ "'"'^ '^^''^'' Bourdfaux, 
 feherry, Port, and some of my own manufac' 
 
 Mr. Fairfield.-Being an advocate, Mr. ElderaaD of 
 
 Mr. Eldernap— And you Mr. Bradshaw? 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.~I will follow the examr^U «.f 
 me by my friend Mr. Fairfield ^ ® "^J 
 
•'airfield, Mr. 
 
 radshaw, is a 
 
 of the legal 
 
 field permit 
 ice you have 
 the study of 
 il, the most 
 irsuits ; and 
 )roper spirit 
 ling I think 
 the human 
 1 strengthen 
 
 tudy which 
 1 have those 
 d preclude 
 invariably 
 Qan nature. 
 
 gentlemen, 
 [uirements, 
 ice, certify 
 ; deferring, 
 tns on law 
 friends the 
 ith a small 
 o you pre- 
 presume a 
 , are gene- 
 lourdeaux, 
 manufac- 
 
 iemap, of 
 nise your 
 
 ample set 
 
 15 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — I am flattered, gentlemen, by your 
 selection, it bein^ mv own favorite beverage, 
 and as our tastes in tnis respect so much agree, 
 perhaps our views on matters of more impor- 
 tance would diverge not to any appreciable 
 extent. 
 
 Profesboi- .iradshaw. — I am satisfied myself, Mr. 
 Eldernap, that the opinions politically and 
 otherwise we mutually entertained in our 
 youth would yet harmonise in our old age. 
 1 know not indeed what may be the views 
 entertained by my friend, Mr. Fairfield : but I 
 would be enabled to judge pretty accurately 
 had I his estimate on the whole oi the merits 
 or demerits of the characters who formed the 
 subject matter of our discourse this evening. 
 
 Mr. Eldernap. — I know not myself, Mr. Bradshaw 
 his view regarding them ; but I have no 
 doubt he willfavour two old philosophers like 
 ourselves with .a conscientious avowal of them ; 
 We have had occasion this evening, Mr. 
 Fairfield, to ofier a few observations on the 
 social status and political career of the Sand- 
 fields, pointing out the lowliness of their 
 origin, the suddeness of their elevation, and the 
 lengthy duratioli of their rule ; and in doing 
 so we were gratified to find that Mr. Brad- 
 shaw's estimate of their characters corres- 
 ponded on the whole with our own : and 
 since we both have the pleasure of your com- 
 pany this evening, I would take the liberty of 
 requesting as a special favour to an old and 
 faithful fr end, to one who has ever taken a 
 deep and unselfish interest in your welfare, 
 the expression to Mr. Bradshaw and myself, 
 of the opinions you may entertain with regard 
 to the members of the family themselves, and 
 the influence of their rule on the welfare and 
 prosperity of the community. 
 
 Mr I HiAxield. — It will j.:;Ford me much pleasure my 
 friends to comply with your request, by giving 
 exDression to the oiiinioDS I mav have formedi 
 
- 
 
 16 
 
 and tlie charac er of thai rule TW S "^°°.® 
 does, I would nevertlX. indiod "^^^^^^^^ '' 
 silent on such a subieet and l^lF ! J^'"^ 
 better cjualified tImroiXtbTe s^^^^^^^^ 
 expression of tlieir views heZn- w Ii '. *''® 
 
 8icn to characterize our respect for them «« h! 
 noBC-n our regard for the^Hottentot should 
 
 fenor to those which adorn and qS the 
 monkey m his sphere. quaniy tiie 
 
 No, gentlemen, not atall : but simiilv i.. 
 cause m our anxiety to do them in J.^^ ^®" 
 half inclined to believe tterfrreTot'o 
 be found m the whole vocabulary of the En^ 
 
 snffieie'ntly ap.ropS 
 colours the vii/gar nature of their Sence 
 Its bastard ongin and damnable effects on the 
 present generation. ^^ecis on tne 
 
 mvertheless, we will proceed, for we ar« 
 thoroughly convinced that the day hal lon^ * 
 smce arrived m this county when ff Tl ^ 
 all .honest men who pridj Xe ^lelt^f 
 their country, the stability of her inrtitnHnno 
 and the morality of her neonir 1? "^' 
 
 with care, and^^to wdV S'n.! -^^"^T 
 daily actio'ns and the^btib^al^^rfee^ 
 of this Sandheld crew, those politick baKs 
 who would dictate to ns with more S 
 Koman tyranny, and Eussian insolence the 
 prmciplee we she uld profess, and the policy we 
 
17 
 
 fv^ith regard to 
 tJieir influence 
 
 But though it 
 d prefer being 
 ave to others, 
 le selves, the 
 
 ; not that we 
 isty, or dread 
 lit, should we 
 IS have oeca- 
 i* them as be- 
 itot ; should 
 I' intelligence 
 f Rockwood, 
 Jonscientious 
 belief, that 
 le, for their 
 itogether in- 
 
 qualifjr the 
 
 simply be- 
 tice, we are 
 ' are not to 
 )f the Eng- 
 pressive to 
 ntlemmi^ or 
 1 deserving 
 influence, 
 Bcts on the 
 
 for we are . 
 ' has long 
 t behoves 
 welfare of 
 istitutions, 
 ) examine 
 Jcision the 
 ►rofessions 
 i baboons 
 lore than 
 •lence the 
 policy we 
 
 should advocate. TTnfortunatol.y, gontlomon, 
 tor the social happiness and political welfare 
 ot this country they -yere heretofore m torn- 
 paratively unknown beyond the iinmodiato 
 locality in whch they wore born that few 
 scholars ot rohnement, few men of intellectual 
 attainments over houi-d of their existeneo 'till 
 by one ot those uncountable freaks of Foi tuno 
 tJie Canadian public to their surprise nud 
 astonishment beheld them in a position the 
 duties of which til oy wore no more qualified 
 by education or by nature to discharge than 
 an^ Uurano^outang would be capable of occu- 
 pying the Throne of Great Britain with credit 
 to It species and honour to the Empire. 
 
 Itw^ then, gentlemen, but not till then 
 that reflecting aud cultivr.tcd minds beholdino- 
 alike their incompetency and vulgarity tliei? 
 igr.ort.nce and stupidity, became amazed at 
 their senseless ambition and barefaced 
 aadacity in aspiring and attempting without 
 the moral qualities that command respect and 
 the uitellectual abilities that acheive success 
 to establish their dominion and consolidate 
 their rule over a free and independent people. 
 But to those wjio knew them of old, to those 
 who were conversant with the history ot their 
 career to those who could narrate the circum- 
 stances of their birth, such vain ambition and 
 foolish audacity, such silly vanity and detes- 
 table hypocricy as they manifested were 
 nothing new. Tlicy recognized those traits of 
 character wliich they ever evinced in every 
 sphere of life from their earliest youth to the 
 the present hour, and with due compassion 
 they attributed their continual manifestation 
 of them less perhaps to their native inborn 
 depravity, than to the vicious impressions im- 
 printed on theiji^. minds in other days, the days 
 of chilhood innocence, to the worse than 
 defective education they then received and to 
 the contaminating influences of the low, the 
 grovellingj and gossiping society thejr moved in. 
 
18 
 
 n Intl '?"'^'" ' operations re.ultin^ from such 
 
 ti'ioohoy attained 111 '^^^^;^;:i;^;'^'-^ 
 
 the feel ii(;s reared m.rl 7l, . 'A.- ' ""' ^^'^'» 
 
 tod, witir tl^wo :J ^''^'^^^'r^.^^'^^- 
 
 -vti„^n,i«hed in their soi Is and tCY ''\''^] 
 morality or a wliisky De„ in fil ,^ .de^'raded 
 eorrupfod hearts. iL^^a/sttl"-'^ '^^''' 
 ""1 ''""f titter ol>ieets t r « S ^^^V^'^'^ P"^*^^""" 
 
 tl'^". thoHociet/o- tl e world w .T"'«^'«'^ 
 before them ui/hm ^ / ' ^hich was ail 
 
 ; oHua and |ourneyed on tho nnfi, ♦• t;--^ 
 
 retonnation ere took Dlao„^ Z '.i *""*' 
 Wind ignorance of thcir^joh' wl velV«n 
 
 s.f :;arr3"?.i> ''"^' '\--tri : 
 
 And ,l.e(, ' aud aUke tr^^isctrce "and t 
 t'"e7'k;'el ?t hir^? "'I ^PiriHrMammo : 
 
 beet"teiZrS "17 ""V" '"'^' 
 the lu.ma„ heart''™;elne?lX:Lr 
 
 never since the ^ftli .f aT' S^nt'erae" 
 
 obtain it n,L» i.^^oyaraed at power: 
 oMam It they would, and to wouro it the/ 
 
i"ltin^ from such 
 t ievv ; tJioj had 
 i'.V vvei-e in the 
 : >ereavo,!of'the 
 
 ^a.Vj'Uth witli 
 nsibilities bliVh- 
 "r and of truth 
 dtho de<,M-jided 
 tillt-d into their 
 itift their puter- 
 « of correction, 
 
 wJiich was ail 
 ?) without oue 
 lon^dit, without 
 >p, or cheer tlie 
 Jile foith they 
 
 Pafli of lifo. 
 i,'gled wirli its 
 fned the bitter 
 but still, my 
 rred, no social 
 for the same 
 as yet settled 
 'ame fanatical 
 same vanity, 
 Ambition, 
 tliey folio wt:! 
 up tuemoun- 
 f self conceit, 
 ence and to 
 of Mammon, 
 «t his name 
 
 this to have 
 ^) when was 
 its passions, 
 ^ith wealth 
 
 gentlemen 
 ^ and the 
 
 at power ; 
 5uro it tbey 
 
 19 
 
 eommencc-di.cddlin^. their political desires (for 
 philosophic y.ews they Im-t none) as fhei, I r 
 tal father did bef<.ro his Biblical iare^ Tu-v 
 courted public favour, nut by the rn.ra i^ 
 of tho-r hves, not by th^ utilitv of uZ 
 actions, oh no, but by the craftiest "of me , 
 and the Vilest of expedients. They ,,?,",' 
 with vve 1 feigned solicitude ufte fhe I 
 
 ot each family, their welfare and , r u.p^r 
 tl marruigo of IV^ggy .nd Judy's 'be I rot ed' 
 Theerops too and tin. prospect, rece t.l* 
 pccial attention, and tlu, forgit not to end 
 
 ^ m,. ^'''/'^ ^'r ^•^''^cJ^>''l''e", snuff to poor 
 gianny and a plug to the 1 ..nhonime. 
 
 W1..V.1. ir ' ,p"^'^"l'^"' ^v' '•« ll'o means by 
 which they thrust themselves on the notice of 
 an honest and conscientio,, ; pcop e ll',4 
 were the expedients the ba.u expc^die .ts t lev 
 
 IK .' -'"^ IJiglilanders , fGlengury who 
 
 able in 1^^^^^^^ v''' P'-«<"^^««i-nsa.uT honour- 
 able in the r dealing were too easily inclined 
 to regard them in tRo same li^ t and to ac- 
 
 r.oAnlT'^ ^''' '''''' ^^^^^^ ^ "^iidence and 
 political support. 
 
 Having thus then acquired 'he on-, qnd 
 
 eTc"of lh:f "'^/'^^^ ^""^'^ ^11 the influ- 
 ence of the family compact, al the stolen 
 
 money of the Kobert Peel, ail tl. rol.lS 
 contracts and corporations ; all the tenors 
 
 tion ind ' ' • '?'' ^^^«^"^«f political dissen- 
 nons and religious animosities, to -trenfrthcn 
 their position against the rising 'tide of pi lie 
 opinion and its invasion by thS inte.lige icv of 
 the rising generation. ^ 
 
 Such low r ^ detestable methods of gunrd- 
 lijg their up. t position were alone worthy 
 of such characters, who if a dispute arose even 
 tri?. tf ^^^'' t°"^^ ^'^ the^exclusive a b " 
 ZlZ ' ? '^ •'' '^^""P '^'* V'^^-^yvA-e purchased 
 in the remoter parts of tl!is" counttv si.o.Id 
 -uow it, as well ihe purchaser as the piice 
 
i\\' 
 
 I 
 
 20 
 
 i 'k\ 
 
 M 
 
 
 v;.: 
 
 1 
 
 thereof ; and who, what they /ailed to ascer- 
 tain tliemstlves, of poking their noses into 
 other i)eople's business, were sure to iind out 
 through the agency of pap-paid officials, of 
 such sneaking insignificant, such brainless 
 
 Suppies and illiterate j^ettifogging pimps as 
 tacKenzie of Alexandria. 
 
 To do them justice, however, it is in such 
 matters so congenial to the tastes and inclina- 
 tions of all blacklegs and buftbons that they 
 could excel or even be expected to transact a 
 skilful part. For in every position gentlemen 
 in which they were placed requiring intel- 
 ligence and tact, integrity of purpose and 
 honesty of design, they have not only utterly 
 failed to meet the requirements of the occasion, 
 but have proved themselves the base bastards 
 of intellectual life and the vulgar counterfeiters 
 of political science. 
 
 Who are they that they should receive the 
 respect due to the benefactors of their race ? 
 What have they done to merit the esteem of 
 mankind, or to hand down their names to 
 tlie reverence of posterity ? What work of 
 public importance, what scheme of local 
 /^ advantage, wliat literary or intellectual 
 achievement, what measure' of scientific import 
 or political utility have they ever been the au- 
 thors or contriver's of. J know of none, and I 
 deiy any other than a vulgar admirer of corrupt 
 venality to mention their names with rcbpect. 
 
 Mr.'Eldernap. — You have forgotten. Mi*. Fairfield, 
 
 the Lancaster road ; excuse me foi interrupting 
 
 you. l)ut I have heard it landed as a })iece of 
 
 engineering skill worthy the age we live in, 
 
 ^" ' and the ghum who designed it, and' aided its 
 
 . ' ^ construction with government mone}-. ' 
 
 Mr. Fairfield.— Surely, Mr. Eldernap,; you a'ro not 
 
 serious. ^ I have heard indcedfiof such a road, 
 
 ■ -' L I-have iteal'd of its 6w;, and I have heard too 
 
 of the indimdual in whose pockets wer^ 
 
21 
 
 quietly deposited the scandalous overplus 
 ordered for its construction, and I have no 
 doubt that the grittish triumvirate who shared 
 the spoil do really in the conceit of their vain 
 imaginations regard its mechanism as some- 
 thing superior to the Victoria bridge, or at 
 least equal in beauty and elegance to the 
 via-sacra of the liomans. 
 
 But seriously gentlemen, 1 would ask every 
 
 honest and indei)endant num every reHecting 
 
 • and cultivated mind, what claims coujd this 
 
 compact have on our gratitude and ait'ection. 
 
 A romnactbase and vilo of himcry rcptileK lank uiul lean, 
 
 Who would knaw for gold tho vitals of our good aud gracious Quecu 
 
 Is it for robbing US of our rights, is it for 
 plundering us of our peace, is it for retardin^g 
 our progress , is it tor maligning virtue and 
 impeacliing honour, is it for scoffing at the 
 mysteries of religion and reviling the wisdom 
 God? Is it for gorging their corrupt hire- 
 line's with the plunder of the orphan and the 
 widow '< Is it for weakening our energies as a 
 people or for plotting the ruin of our mstitu- 
 tions and the destruction of our liberties ^ 
 Gentlemen I know not, but 1 know that he 
 
 '« Who knowB thorn well mu8t quit tboiu with disgust, 
 
 Degraded mass of aaimatod dust 
 
 Their love is lust, their friendship all a cheat, 
 
 Their smiles hypocrisy, tJieir words deceit, 
 
 '5v tiaMire vile, onnobVd imtby ninno, 
 
 Each kindrtd bruto might bid ihcm bluali lor Hliamc. 
 
 But no they are as incapable ol' shame as they 
 
 fire insensible to honour and tli-^y stand before 
 
 us wdth all the domineering i nsulencc ol upstart 
 
 family pride, Miiri^^illvy^Ki stinking conceit ot 
 
 t~u> . shallow pated puiHfeiifc)iefid^-, ^atn the unblnsh- 
 
 -•-'r3 ing effrontery of ;««LVft}>irSii'«I wuh a^s rlie 
 
 Dnai blood of the iath'JrrA^f -.the orpnaub ()t l>enu- 
 
 -ir. harnais staining.; fthelhtiitids ot the.one, am 
 
 u.b that of the Ay hvards crimsoning tho brow ot 
 
 the other. 
 
 
m^ 
 
 ■i 
 
 m 
 
 
 M 
 
 y 
 
 22 
 
 Such revolting crimitiality will receive its 
 reward such plundering thieves will meet 
 their doonri — tne one at the tribunal of 
 Justice, the other at the hands of an out- 
 raged people. And to such a Fate will we 
 leave them for the present consoled as we are 
 with the solacing reflection that the day is fast 
 approaching when we will no longer be dic- 
 tated to by such illiterate buffoons, when the 
 slumbering spirit of our people will awake 
 again to freedom, when the youthful guuius 
 of our rising generation will assert its man- 
 hood, when the untrammell';>'^ voice of Wis- 
 d(.ini and"' the beaming soul of classic 
 eloquence will advocate oTir interests and our 
 rights in the legislative Halls of our country. 
 
 For such a day the dawn to us of social 
 happiness and prosperity, of returning peace 
 and plenty, when the Sandfield clouds of 
 ignorance and deceit which now darken the 
 intellectual horizon ot our people will be 
 dispelled by the genial light of the rising sun 
 of genius, do we indeed anxiously look forth. 
 
 There are those no doubt who would gladly 
 censure if possible these our aspirations and 
 seek as they have sought before at their instiga- 
 tion to impede our progress on the path of life, 
 but M-liile we enjoy the coiifidenco and esteem 
 of tliose sago pliilosophers who v^^atclied with 
 f<»nd solicitude over our earlier years, and Avith 
 tender care guided our youthful steps, to the 
 vale of art and the hill of e^cieu'^e, we can well 
 afford to smile at their censures and their 
 malice, satisfied that if the sentiments expressed 
 by us to-night with regard to those ignorant 
 apes and political quacks may to strangers 
 appear' harsh, they are nevertheless true, and 
 areliitrtilar to those opinions which all sensible 
 artti fefilfecting men invariably entertain of such 
 humfiiltib^rtious. And for their edification and 
 delight we will take the hberty of concluding 
 our observations on the gentlemen with a song 
 
23 
 
 composed by my friend Mr. Eklcmap, somo 
 yesrs ago, for better and worthier cbaructers, 
 but which is admirably adapted on the present 
 occasion for an orphan's morning, noon and 
 evening invocation : — 
 
 " Oh God of ihym(! roll on the time, 
 
 When death will make them civil, 
 
 Come stop their clack, and send them back, 
 
 To their black father Devil. 
 
 Bad indeed as thistle weed, 
 
 Which checks our fertile mowing, 
 
 I compare them nigh the Hessian Fly, 
 
 Which kills our grain while growing. 
 
 All conquering death come cramp^their breath,. 
 
 A nd bathe them well in brimestone, 
 
 Then send them down deep to hell 
 
 To turn the Devil's grindstone." 
 
 Mr. Eldernap.— Well spoken Mr. Fairfield, and as 
 the concluding lines wore so apropos to the 
 subject I will forgive you repeating any poe- 
 tical effusions, I may not have published as 
 yet. I owej you a debt ol gratitude for the 
 able manner in which you have unmasked 
 tlie lives of those hypocrites, and I have no 
 doubt my valued friend, Mr. Bradshaw, ex- 
 Dresses the feelings of gratitude that I do my- 
 
 presses 
 self. 
 
 Professor Bradshaw.~I have no words my friends, 
 to express to you the satisfaction I experienced 
 while listening to Mr. Fairfield's able and 
 eloquent discoui-se,— the philosophic views 
 and well merited sarcasms contained therein, 
 alike instructed and delighted me.— But as I 
 never knew that Mr. Eldernap inherited the 
 faculty divine, and as Mr. Fairfield left the 
 detestable crew in the dreary mansions of 
 their Father, I think Mr. Eldernap should 
 inscribe on their tomb a fitting and appropriate 
 epitaph, and thereby conclude their obsequies. 
 
 Mr. Fairfield.-— I truly agree with you, Mr. Brad- 
 shaw. 
 
H 
 
 r. 
 
 24 
 
 Eldernap.— I shall do so with pleadtire itiv 
 friends, and as tlieir career hps been one of 
 theft and robbery, we will all now drink^ to 
 their death and damnation, by inscribing 
 meanwhile for thair family vault. 
 
 Full five and twenty years, 
 We've shed both blood and tears, 
 A treacherous crew, a harpy brood, 
 Grim Death we long withstood. 
 But now unhonoured and unblost 
 Were you alaa 1 by satau sore apprest. 
 
 i \ 
 
 v.' ! 
 
 
 FINIS. 
 
 1