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Gic cantiiicj Icnavcs their idle wonlth ObtainuJ by lying craft and stealth, Gie brainlot'S tups and silly flirts Their paltry toys and gaudy skirts, To holy men and sinners too Accord alike whate'cr is duo ; But gie oh pic the .Ddl liis ain The bloody Sandiield robber gang. THE "SANDFIELDS. " Professor Bradsliaw.— Good eveninrj Mr. Elderna|), I am liappy to find you at home. Mr. Eldernap. — Good evening Mr. Bradsliaw, I am delighted to see yon, mxionsly awaited your arrival, and I trust yi u will now iind the air and retirement ot these gardens as cungenial to your tastes, as they are agreeable to mine. Professor Bradsliaw. — Yon need entertain no fear as to that Mr. Eldernap ; for 1 have ever love'* the tranquility of a (lothic villa airiid rural scenery : around it, and away from the bustle of city life, there seems to linger a charm to be found nowhere else, and when T look out from this drawing room on the moonlit-scene before me, and listen to the ri])])ling nnirmur of the woodland stream as it winds its silvery course througli yonder ])eaccrul grove, 1 can- not but admire the sweet and silent beauty that surrounds us and he deeply im])ressed with the sublime grandeur of IS aturc's works. Mr. Eldernap. — Our conceptions and impressions, Mr. Bradshaw, are identical in this respect, and r# K.'! ^:h. .'X from tlio Himiljirity of onr feelings I liad cer- tainly lluttcrcd inysulf that you would ho pleased with niy retreat : it is he 'o of late years tiiatl spend the most of my time : for it is well adaj)ted asyou perceive for contemplative study and historical research. Professor Bradshaw.— Notliing Mr. Bradshaw could 1)0 more so, coidd ho more adapted for the acquisition of historical knowledge, which is no douht with you a favourite literary pursuit. Mr. Eldornap.— Yes I ain much attached to it, and the study of political economy. Trofossor Bradshaw.— A delightful study the latter, Mr. Elderiiap, and one which has afford d mo the greatest pleasure. Mr. Eldorjiap,--Indccd Ih: Bradshaw, our literary inclinations arc then tliesamc : en some future eve?iing wlicn you shall have recovered from the fiitigno of your journey I shoiild be happy to learn your political views, the more so, Mr. Bradshaw, that during the long interval we liave l)cen separated y'ou must have acquired, from study, from observation and experience, a vast fund of information especially as regard continental politics and their bearings. Professor Bradsliaw.— It will afford me much plea- sure Mr. Eldernap to gratify your desire, for I Jiave certainly very much pro'lited of late years by my travels in foreign lands. Mr. Eldernap.— No doubt Mr. Bradsliaw, for it is many years tluit wo have been separated, that we have been dcl)arred the pleasure of one another's society. Professor Bradshaw.— It is now Mr. Eldernap, let me see, about a quarter of a century. Mr. Eldernap.— Yes, I presume it is, Mr. Bradshaw, do you not perceive many changes in this locality since then. tW.M.^iiJ»-.». Profo=3oi* Bradshaw. — Many iiulcod, Mr. Eldornap, in science and a;i;ricnltnrc, in literatnru and art, hut not at al! as many as 1 Avonld c.\i>ect to iind anion*^ self reliant aiidenor[?otic Scotch men ; the roads, for instance, tlio tirst element ol'luinuin eivili/ation, are a scandal to tlio country, a disgrace to the pe<> )lo, and it very much astonishes mo, M". K dernap, thatits representative, (wlioever lie may he) lias not devised some means or other lO render at least one highway passahle at all seasons of the year. ' Mr. Eldernap.-— It will ustonish you the mure Mr. Ih'adshaw upon learning that ho^ and the whole lauiily owe their very position^ and , ■ existence to the kinducss and generosity of the Highlanders of Glengarry. Professor Bradshaw.— Is it possil)le Mr. Eldernap 'i IIow conies it then that he neglects the interests of his constituents 'i Mr. Eldernap.— Simply, Uv. ih-adshaw, that the ohject of their kindness and generosity is too seltish, too much devoted to his own interests, to consult the interests of the i)eople afc large ; if a few dollars were to he made hy speculation the acquisition of them would ho of more, importance to him, than either the condition of the roads or the welfare and the prosperity of the community. Professor Bradshaw.— How long then, has ho held a seat in Parliament, and were ho or they the means of elfecting any good which might atone for his negligence in the one respect and his selfishness in the other 'i Mr. Eldernap.— For near five and twenty years, Mr. Bradshaw, has the representation of this Coun- ty remained in their family and during this long period, instead of effecting any ^ood, they have infiicted immense evil politically and otherwise : all in fact our representative can hoast of, is that havinrr oncn procured at a Hucntico from u wrockod atoiiincr a (juantity of paraHol.s and j)ninulla boots lie imported ti)cm Ih'iK'o wifh some mitmof,^ molasses, codfieh uml candy, and cxliihitcd them as new and fjishiuiiable articles of njcrcliandiso direct from the far faii>ed east ; ajid it is almost unnocos- sary to state, tliat ho has retailed and still con- tinues to retail the sume at a scandalous figure. rrofosftor Hradshaw.— Why, Mr Kldernap, ho must 1)0 the vilest of scavengers ! Mr. Kldernap.— You could not possibly regard him in aiiy other li^dit, and, were you only acquainted Avith his seliishness and his pride as well as I am, you would hold him responsible not only ]or the backwardness of this county, but also f(»r the tardy progress it now makes in social economy and the development of its resources. Professor Hradshaw.— Indeed, Mr, Eldernap, you surprise mo nuich. Mr. Eldernap.— Tis nevertheless true, Mr. Eradsliaw- AVnil you not refresh yourself with a glass of .wine? IVofessor Eradshaw.— With pleasure Mr. Eldernap. Your health and happiness. Mr. Eldornai>.— Thanks my dear Sir. I shall join you and drink to your safety and return. Professor Erad-liaw.— A\^ell then, Mr. Eldernap, are no changes as yet contemplated which would tend to the amelioration of the state of society here ? Mr. Eldernap.— None to my knowledge, Mr. Brad- shaw, of a beneficial nature. Prolcssor Bradshaw.— I should think, Mr. Eldernap, that such would be desirable, the more so as we find here in all its Highland genuine perfection, that generous spirit of hospitalit-^ StSMtmmn 6 which lends the sweetest charm to existence, whicl) endears tlio society of stranger and of frieiul, and alleviates the cares and the trials of this life. Mr. Elderna]-).— Certaiidy Mv. Eradshaw it would really bo gratify iii<( to learn of the introduc- tion anion^Mis of chauijes in social economy and domestic life, which would ])rovo coudi'i- civo to the ^'oncral weliaro of tlie community, and hononrahlo to the spirit ami enterprise of our public men. Professor Ih-adshaw.— J entirely aureo with von Mr. Eldoriuip, but the history of mankind de- monstrates clearly that such changes as you speak of are seklom silently eifect(Ml iii the social ard political history of a people. Yet Mr. Eldernaj) if evidence of a desire to intro- du'^o such reforms were afforded us, even by such a character as the representative of this County (whoever he may be) even by one whose political career had over i)een at va- riance with time honoured maxims and the cherished traditions of J'iitish rule ; would it not afford valid cause for con<,a'atu]ation, and commend the character of the man at least in this respect to the approbation of every true lover of his Country i! Mr. Eldernap.— Yes Mr. Bradsiiaw, undoubtedly it would; but if instead of tliis, if in the absence of such praiseworthy designs, wo perceived one here who, wliile professing' spotless inte- grity aud honourable inlentious, was a desiyii- ing knave and a secret robber of our wealth, if we dady beheld one who while decrying; strife, while p/eachirig cliarity, wli-ilo praisino- chastity and proclaiming truth, \^as the plui? derer of onr peace, the maligiier of our repu- tation, the deiiler of female' purity, the moraV murderer of innocence, the unblushing lying hypocrite and the cowardly upstart assassin ; if, I say, we beheld such a one betraying our interest, impeaching our honour and hartcnng our reputation as a people to prevent tlie downfall of liis despotism, to perpetuate his iron rule and promote his own ai^'i^rnndlsenient among a noble but niislaken_ people, would it not kindle your indignation iiiflanio your anger and impera- tively entail on every luniest man the necessity ol exposing the danger he saw threatening and surrounding the peace, the weliare, the hap- piness and prosperity of his native place i* Professor Bra dshaw. -It would not only impose the duty indicated by you, but the man wdio would neglect to discharn-e the same, would be gmlty in my estimation of a grave offence, would transgress all law natural and divine, and render Inmsolf the deserving object of boundless contempt. Mr. Eldernap.— It is lor these reasons Mr. Bradshaw, that we propose at no distant day to avail ourselves of tiie classic calm, and the shady tranqudity that surround us here to brand with deserving infamy a brutal scorpion that satiates his wa-atli on the houseless widow, and llie homeles orphan ; to depict in a word the chameleon character of that most disgust- ing political abortion of the nineteenth cen tury — Tlifit vile silly a«s, :v.k1 that ignorant member, Whyiu insulted religion will long, long romembor, Well known far and near on his own native clay As tlie overgrown buby, the base born D. A. Professor Bradshaw.— What, Mr. Eldernap, did you say " D. A." Is he your representative, D. A., the being, if I mistake not, whom I saw on the Bcauharnois Canal instigating the mas- sacre of unfortunate Irish exiles, and after- wards had a contract of the Montreal Water works, where, I am told, he swindled the Corporation out of some £40,000 or £50,000. Is he your representative ? Mr. Eldernap.— -r.ic very Identical monster. people to jspotism, to >romote his noble but viudle your .nd imp era- he necessity ateiiirig and e, the hap- place ? impose the man who wne, would ,ve offence, and divine, ; object of Bradshaw, ly to avail the shady 3rand with pion that 3s widow, in a word St disgust- eenth cen inber, ;• remember, ivc clay .A. ^ ), did you tative, D. lom I saw ; the mas- md after- al Water idled the £50,000. Professor Bradshaw. — Good God, Mr. Eldernap, when will miracles cease ! I saw him only a few times, but the impression of his character left on my mind, from the lcn;j;-th of his cars and the peculiar sinister expression of iiis coun- tenance, rendered more hideous by his thievish looking eyes, was certainly of such a nature as to inspire me with I'he belief that he was a beinci: that no man with the sli^litest self- respect, with the least pretensions to common sense, would ever associate with. I am ^ninderstruck at your having such a member. jle is not a man. Mr. Eldernap. — It is a Rubject, Mr. Bradshaw, of painful surprise, not only to you but to many; and humiliating in the extreme to reflect that such an animal parades himself as the Glengary Salon, while in the Legislative Halls of our Country he sits an Egyptian Mummy, the dumb connecting link between the monkey and the man. Professor Bradshaw. — Mr. Eldernap do you really regard him as such 'i Mr. Eldernap. — I do Mr. Hradshaw. Professor Bradshaw. — Arc you not aware, Mr. Eldcrna]), that you are thereby exposing your- self to the censure of grave philosophers for questioning their well grounded belief, and generally received opinion among them, that such a being is more allied to the monkey tribe, than possessed of anything which could establish his relationship to the human species? Mr. Eldernap. — I am conscious, Mr. Bradshaw, of the danger, T am exposed to in diiiering from my brother philosophers, and though I admit that lie is possessed of nothing which could legally establish his possitivc connexion with the human species, I nevertheless hold to my 8 % ' opmion. Morever, Mr. Bradshaw, he has not cc tail— that essential perquisite of the monkey, neither has any of the family. Professor Bradshaw.— True, Mr. Eldernap, hut hein"> an older resident here than myself, you mus*t remember that it is reported on good sound, substantial authority, that tlieir grandmother wiio kept a groggery, a wortliy personage, I believe, well known in her time and still re- membered as the" change avecJc" cut them olf asa compensation for stolen whiskey, which they were extremely fond of. Mr. Eldernap.— The report, Mr. Bradshaw, is no doubt true. I believe it to be true. Yet for the honour of old Glengary, I am still inclined to look upon him as a rara avis, as indeed the dumb connecting link between the Monkey and the Man, between the brute creation and that portion of animated nature, which a wise and benificcnt Providence endowed with reas- on and with speech. Professor Bradshaw.— We will not dispute your hypo- thesis ; the more so as we ourselves belong to that honourable class of philosophers who are in- clined to view men and things in as mild a spi- rit and favourable a light as possible. Mr. Eldernap.— So do I, Mr. Bradshaw, belong to the same iionourable class, and glad indeed would I feel, could I point to one redeeming quality in his character ; for like charity, you know, 'twould cover a multitude of sins ; but alas, Mr. Bradshaw, it grieves mo to tell the world, that I cannot, for from early youth to sober man- hood, his moral conduct has been as low and base, as vulgar and detestable ; as his political career has been degrading to the soul and sick- ening to the heart. I love justice as I hate in- iniquity ; and would to God, Mr. Bradshaw, I could even find in the circumstances of his birth, in the character of the crude and meagre instruction he received, in the rottenness of nis » rusty brain and the stupidity of his clouded in- tellect, something to plead in extenuation of the character of the man, but alas ! alas ! my God I cannot; Mr. Bradshaw. Professor Bradshaw. — What, Mr. Eldemap, can noth- ing be found in the accidents of liis vulgar existence, which could mitigate the depravity of the monster 'i Mr. Eldernap.— Nothing, Mr. Bradshaw; and from my knowledge of the nature of the animal, I am satisfied that his brutal propensites altogether predominate over whatever little reason or in- stinct he may possess. Professor Bradshaw. — I should think so myself, Mr. Eldernaj), were I to judge from the conforma- tion of his carcass and the pig like-structure of his skull ; but who, Mr Eldernap, was his worthy progenitor ? I am sure it would be interestin*^ to know the amalgamating process by which he was begotten. Mr. Eldernap. — All we know of his paternal ances- tors, is that one " Alek Ban Pedlar " was his father or reputed such. Professor Bradshaw.— What, Mr. Eldernap, Alek Ban Pedlar ! The name sound familiar ; 'twas certainly familiar in other years. Alek Ban Pedlar, was he his father, the father of the Sandfiolds ? Pray Mr. Eldernap what was hia character ; for it strikes me very forcibly that he is the individual so notorious some years ago for his prayer Book speculation, whereby ne receivea the subscriptions, pocketed the cash and retained the books. Mr. Eldernap.— The very same, Mr. Bradshaw, but as the unfortunate peddling founder of the Sandfield dynasty is now no more: as he sleeps with the unhonoured and the forgotten dead ; we will not revive his memory by recalling to the minds of the rising generation the low cunning 10 and the foul deceit, the thievish propensities and the liellish hypocrisy, the grovelling sen- suality, and the brutal amativeness which blasted his reputation when alive ; and I fear damned his soul when dead ; for the legacy he bequeathed us, the harpy brood he left behind him have, God knows, sufficient murder, suf- ficient blood and rapine to account for with- out the blackened vices and the infamous career of their detestable father. Professor Bradshaw.— I commend your prudence Mr. Eldernap, and approve your charity to the dishonoured dead, but I nevertheless maintain that, as a God of Justice, in his infinite wisdom ordained the visitation of the sins of one's fathers on the heads of their descendants, till their vices would cease to cry vengence from the grave ; so there are times, Mr. Eldernap, when forbearance against the living becomes a crime, a crime against society, a violation ot the laws of moralty and the ordinances of God. Mr. Eldernap.— True, very true, Mr. Bradshaw and It is on account of these considerations, so truthfully assigned by you, that we propose exterminating this vile and vulgar Sandfield crew, by consigning them to the pillory of scorn and scourging them with the lash of infamy and (teatii. c Professor Bradshaw.— I admire your spirit and revere your patriotism, Mr. Eldernap ; and if the other members of the Tribe are as vicious and bloodthirsty as the crimsoned butcher of the Beauharnois Canal, in their chastisement you will indeed be conferring a benefit on this country, which the Canadian people will not fail to appreciate, for which the lonely orphan's silent grayer will ascend in gratitude to Hea- ven ; tor which children yet unborn will bless your memory, and hand down your name to posterity as the benefactor of your race, as the guardian of their welfare and their peace. •^^rr^' 11 Mr. Eldernap. — ^Tliey are all equally corrupt, Mr. Bradsnaw, for what one of them lacks in brutality, the other is sure to account for, in rascality : and when I shall have discharged the duty I have imposed upon my myself, a duty which in the sacred silence of eve I solemly swore to perform at the altar of Faith, at the Hallowed shrine of a crucified God, my best reward, the only reward I could desire in this world, my greatest consolation, the consolation I should love to experience in the winter of life when the sunny spring of youth and the golden autumn of manhood have gone by, will be, Mr. Bradshaw, the solacing reflection of having promoted the welfare of my friends, of having contributed to the prosperity of my native place, and of having fearlessly and conscientiously fulfilled my obligations to society at large. Professor Bradshaw. — The wise man's consolation and the christians hope, Mr. Eldernap, a consola- tion and a hope which have cheered the heart of many a patriot in exile, and soothed the soul of many a martyr in the agonies of death. But how, Mr. Eldernap, did the crew succeed in elevating themselves to their present posi- tion and retaining it so long ? Mr. Eldernap. — Your enquiry, Mr. Bradshaw, is more easily proposed thaii satisfactorily answered. , It has really been a matter of surprise to many worthy men how they did succeed, seeing that their endowments so much approximate to those of the brute creation. Ihe majoritv of people, I believe, are inclined to attribute their sudden rise from the degraded condition of their ancestral state, to accident and the freaks of Fortune ; and consolidated by the influence which wealth is sure to command in a rural community, however dishonourably "acquired or thievishly procured. There is, no doubt, a great deal of truth in this view of the case, but besides this we ourselves have good and 12 sufficient reasons for supposing that the Insti- tution known as the family compact, the rotten remams of which yet obstruct the welfare of our commuuity, had a great deal to do with their material prosperity and success. The;^ ushered themselves by some means or other into the order, and once in, being naturally selfish, they were not slow to avail themselves of the opportunities afforded by such an a banco m those days and to secure to themselves a vast preportion of the plunder. Professor Bradshaw.-Well, well, Mr. Eldernap was this the secret of their rise ? Mr. Eldernap.^Yes ! Mr. Bradshaw, 'twas the pri- mitive source of their prosperity and what and theft '"^^ ^ ^^ ''^^''^^ ^^ '""^^^'y Professor Bradshaw.-What, Mr. Eldernap, were lTn«f^''''^ *^' ^'^"^"°^ ^^^Ith by these Mr. ElderDaiK--Of coupe fMr. Bradshaw, being gambhhg thieves by nature, their pigmy intef- Tects were adapted for nothing els? tiian the prosecution of this their natural trade. Mr. Bradshaw.-Wonderful depravity, "Mr. Elder- nap ! many indeed nd notorious must be Z instances of their pulaging. *'® Mr. EldernappSo many and notorious, Mr. Brad- tlT'tW -^ -'' too n„„,erous' to ment on, that their miurious effects will outlive their memory and be sorely felt by generations yTt emWaS^ij'^*"* ^''' ^°^^""^« ^« «^« lonely emigrant Jandiiig on. our shores from the green vales of fiin, and robbed of S Hghts homeste^ S' r' *^^' *^^« ^""^"^^^ highland aomesteads of this county, and turn to their* a__ MHK iQQm ^^„ i^ausQd their mournful *-;«>«»"-i*<fc... 13 It the Insti- t, the rotten welfare of ! to do with ss. le means or in, being ow to avau fforded by I to secure »e plunder, lernap was s the pri- and what •y robbery- nap, were I by these w, beiag jmv intel- 3 than the e. "r. Eider- list be the rr. Brad- mention, live their itions yet he lonely from the lis rights lacklegs. Jighland^ I to their* le grave. nouTDfui desolation and their heart-rending ruin, who , plundered their eifeets under the guise of law who deprived their youthful offspring of a peaceful home ; who blasted the cherished hopes of maiden innocence in the flowery spring of j^outhful love ; who lauo-hed at the dying injunctions, who mocked the ardent interces- sions and scoffed at the fervent aspirations of hoary age in the agonies of death ; but no, Mr. Bradshaw, we will refrain from doing so, 'tis too sad a subject, too mournful a theme, we will simply ad/ert^to the burning and the plundering of the Kobert Peel, as one of the most lucrative of their cruel and their shame- ful robberies. By t)us scandalous transaction alone, eflccted by their skeleton chief, the whole gang were suddenly enriched, while the blame was attached to, and the robbery, to this day, generally fathered on the unfor- tunate Bill Johnston and his followers. Professor Bradshaw. — The burning and plundering of the "Peel ", Mr. Eldernap, I well remember the shocking event ; but little did I suspect the real authors of the rolot. Mr. Eldernap. — You may well say so Mr. Bradshaw, and little did others too, for few, very few in those days ever dreamt of the possibility of such rascality being enacted. However the amount stolen enriched them all, and im- mediately thereafter enabled their grim and crafty lec^ler to' sport a pair of white ponies, to the jealousy audsurpiise of Cornwall pups, and the gi-atilication and delight cf Cornwall flirts. Servant Flag, — A visitor, Mr. Eldurnap! Shall I bid him enter ? Mr. Eldernap. — Yes, Miss l^lag. Mr. Elderaap.— Oh ! Mr. Fairfield, I was not aware. • it was you, I am happy you have arrived. Allow me to introduce you to mv friend : Mr t* i li !;; J 14 Bradshaw, Mr. Fairfield. Mr. Fairfield Mr Ssior^''""'''"^ "''''^'' of the legal ^''^"'T.S'''^'^''^;T^"^^^^- Mr. Fairfield permit nL « f "f f "^«te you on the choice yon have Z\: ^'^ ^'^'''. ^7^^ ^-^g^^'ded the study of tlio law as one of the most useful, the most refined and dignified oilniman puiu s -and when devoted to its study in the Voper S and the proper disposition, nothing I think mind to X^rr'""^ ''• ^^fi"^ *^«'"'™«^ .rse'n^nS."^^ P^^'^^P^-- -^ strengthen Mr. Fairfeld-Yes Mr. Bradshaw, 'tis astudy which eftt?.PnnT"*f ^ "' ^^" '^y «h^"^d have those ettects on he human mind, should preclude tenr^.?^ f,¥«tti%ing, andinWiably beget aprofound kliowledge of human nature. Mr. Eldernap-Without flattering myself gentlemen, or laying claim to any vast legal acquirements to thp' llZ '^X<'''''^^^^^^ex^eneiice, certify to the truth of your remarks; but deferring, tor the time being, our encomiums on law !^rl!!l\ • ' J- r''^^ '"^fe'^^t "^y friends the propriety of refreshing ourselves with a small decoction of life's liq'uid. What do you pre fer, Mr. Fan-field ? tour are not I presume a teetotaler for lawyers, like all poets,^arTg^net Sheirpl'" *^/ "'"'^ '^^''^'' Bourdfaux, feherry, Port, and some of my own manufac' Mr. Fairfield.-Being an advocate, Mr. ElderaaD of Mr. Eldernap— And you Mr. Bradshaw? Professor Bradshaw.~I will follow the examr^U «.f me by my friend Mr. Fairfield ^ ® "^J •'airfield, Mr. radshaw, is a of the legal field permit ice you have the study of il, the most irsuits ; and )roper spirit ling I think the human 1 strengthen tudy which 1 have those d preclude invariably Qan nature. gentlemen, [uirements, ice, certify ; deferring, tns on law friends the ith a small o you pre- presume a , are gene- lourdeaux, manufac- iemap, of nise your ample set 15 Mr. Eldernap. — I am flattered, gentlemen, by your selection, it bein^ mv own favorite beverage, and as our tastes in tnis respect so much agree, perhaps our views on matters of more impor- tance would diverge not to any appreciable extent. Profesboi- .iradshaw. — I am satisfied myself, Mr. Eldernap, that the opinions politically and otherwise we mutually entertained in our youth would yet harmonise in our old age. 1 know not indeed what may be the views entertained by my friend, Mr. Fairfield : but I would be enabled to judge pretty accurately had I his estimate on the whole oi the merits or demerits of the characters who formed the subject matter of our discourse this evening. Mr. Eldernap. — I know not myself, Mr. Bradshaw his view regarding them ; but I have no doubt he willfavour two old philosophers like ourselves with .a conscientious avowal of them ; We have had occasion this evening, Mr. Fairfield, to ofier a few observations on the social status and political career of the Sand- fields, pointing out the lowliness of their origin, the suddeness of their elevation, and the lengthy duratioli of their rule ; and in doing so we were gratified to find that Mr. Brad- shaw's estimate of their characters corres- ponded on the whole with our own : and since we both have the pleasure of your com- pany this evening, I would take the liberty of requesting as a special favour to an old and faithful fr end, to one who has ever taken a deep and unselfish interest in your welfare, the expression to Mr. Bradshaw and myself, of the opinions you may entertain with regard to the members of the family themselves, and the influence of their rule on the welfare and prosperity of the community. Mr I HiAxield. — It will j.:;Ford me much pleasure my friends to comply with your request, by giving exDression to the oiiinioDS I mav have formedi - 16 and tlie charac er of thai rule TW S "^°°.® does, I would nevertlX. indiod "^^^^^^^^ '' silent on such a subieet and l^lF ! J^'"^ better cjualified tImroiXtbTe s^^^^^^^^ expression of tlieir views heZn- w Ii '. *''® 8icn to characterize our respect for them «« h! noBC-n our regard for the^Hottentot should fenor to those which adorn and qS the monkey m his sphere. quaniy tiie No, gentlemen, not atall : but simiilv i.. cause m our anxiety to do them in J.^^ ^®" half inclined to believe tterfrreTot'o be found m the whole vocabulary of the En^ snffieie'ntly ap.ropS colours the vii/gar nature of their Sence Its bastard ongin and damnable effects on the present generation. ^^ecis on tne mvertheless, we will proceed, for we ar« thoroughly convinced that the day hal lon^ * smce arrived m this county when ff Tl ^ all .honest men who pridj Xe ^lelt^f their country, the stability of her inrtitnHnno and the morality of her neonir 1? "^' with care, and^^to wdV S'n.! -^^"^T daily actio'ns and the^btib^al^^rfee^ of this Sandheld crew, those politick baKs who would dictate to ns with more S Koman tyranny, and Eussian insolence the prmciplee we she uld profess, and the policy we 17 fv^ith regard to tJieir influence But though it d prefer being ave to others, le selves, the ; not that we isty, or dread lit, should we IS have oeca- i* them as be- itot ; should I' intelligence f Rockwood, Jonscientious belief, that le, for their itogether in- qualifjr the simply be- tice, we are ' are not to )f the Eng- pressive to ntlemmi^ or 1 deserving influence, Bcts on the for we are . ' has long t behoves welfare of istitutions, ) examine Jcision the ►rofessions i baboons lore than •lence the policy we should advocate. TTnfortunatol.y, gontlomon, tor the social happiness and political welfare ot this country they -yere heretofore m torn- paratively unknown beyond the iinmodiato locality in whch they wore born that few scholars ot rohnement, few men of intellectual attainments over houi-d of their existeneo 'till by one ot those uncountable freaks of Foi tuno tJie Canadian public to their surprise nud astonishment beheld them in a position the duties of which til oy wore no more qualified by education or by nature to discharge than an^ Uurano^outang would be capable of occu- pying the Throne of Great Britain with credit to It species and honour to the Empire. Itw^ then, gentlemen, but not till then that reflecting aud cultivr.tcd minds beholdino- alike their incompetency and vulgarity tliei? igr.ort.nce and stupidity, became amazed at their senseless ambition and barefaced aadacity in aspiring and attempting without the moral qualities that command respect and the uitellectual abilities that acheive success to establish their dominion and consolidate their rule over a free and independent people. But to those wjio knew them of old, to those who were conversant with the history ot their career to those who could narrate the circum- stances of their birth, such vain ambition and foolish audacity, such silly vanity and detes- table hypocricy as they manifested were nothing new. Tlicy recognized those traits of character wliich they ever evinced in every sphere of life from their earliest youth to the the present hour, and with due compassion they attributed their continual manifestation of them less perhaps to their native inborn depravity, than to the vicious impressions im- printed on theiji^. minds in other days, the days of chilhood innocence, to the worse than defective education they then received and to the contaminating influences of the low, the grovellingj and gossiping society thejr moved in. 18 n Intl '?"'^'" ' operations re.ultin^ from such ti'ioohoy attained 111 '^^^^;^;:i;^;'^'-^ the feel ii(;s reared m.rl 7l, . 'A.- ' ""' ^^'^'» tod, witir tl^wo :J ^''^'^^^'r^.^^'^^- -vti„^n,i«hed in their soi Is and tCY ''\''^] morality or a wliisky De„ in fil ,^ .de^'raded eorrupfod hearts. iL^^a/sttl"-'^ '^^''' ""1 ''""f titter ol>ieets t r « S ^^^V^'^'^ P"^*^^""" tl'^". thoHociet/o- tl e world w .T"'«^'«'^ before them ui/hm ^ / ' ^hich was ail ; oHua and |ourneyed on tho nnfi, ♦• t;--^ retonnation ere took Dlao„^ Z '.i *""*' Wind ignorance of thcir^joh' wl velV«n s.f :;arr3"?.i> ''"^' '\--tri : And ,l.e(, ' aud aUke tr^^isctrce "and t t'"e7'k;'el ?t hir^? "'I ^PiriHrMammo : beet"teiZrS "17 ""V" '"'^' the lu.ma„ heart''™;elne?lX:Lr never since the ^ftli .f aT' S^nt'erae" obtain it n,L» i.^^oyaraed at power: oMam It they would, and to wouro it the/ i"ltin^ from such t ievv ; tJioj had i'.V vvei-e in the : >ereavo,!of'the ^a.Vj'Uth witli nsibilities bliVh- "r and of truth dtho de<,M-jided tillt-d into their itift their puter- « of correction, wJiich was ail ?) without oue lon^dit, without >p, or cheer tlie Jile foith they Pafli of lifo. i,'gled wirli its fned the bitter but still, my rred, no social for the same as yet settled 'ame fanatical same vanity, Ambition, tliey folio wt:! up tuemoun- f self conceit, ence and to of Mammon, «t his name this to have ^) when was its passions, ^ith wealth gentlemen ^ and the at power ; 5uro it tbey 19 eommencc-di.cddlin^. their political desires (for philosophic y.ews they Im-t none) as fhei, I r tal father did bef<.ro his Biblical iare^ Tu-v courted public favour, nut by the rn.ra i^ of tho-r hves, not by th^ utilitv of uZ actions, oh no, but by the craftiest "of me , and the Vilest of expedients. They ,,?,",' with vve 1 feigned solicitude ufte fhe I ot each family, their welfare and , r u.p^r tl marruigo of IV^ggy .nd Judy's 'be I rot ed' Theerops too and tin. prospect, rece t.l* pccial attention, and tlu, forgit not to end ^ m,. ^'''/'^ ^'r ^•^''^cJ^>''l''e", snuff to poor gianny and a plug to the 1 ..nhonime. W1..V.1. ir ' ,p"^'^"l'^"' ^v' '•« ll'o means by which they thrust themselves on the notice of an honest and conscientio,, ; pcop e ll',4 were the expedients the ba.u expc^die .ts t lev IK .' -'"^ IJiglilanders , fGlengury who able in 1^^^^^^^ v''' P'-«<"^^««i-nsa.uT honour- able in the r dealing were too easily inclined to regard them in tRo same li^ t and to ac- r.oAnlT'^ ^''' '''''' ^^^^^^ ^ "^iidence and political support. Having thus then acquired 'he on-, qnd eTc"of lh:f "'^/'^^^ ^""^'^ ^11 the influ- ence of the family compact, al the stolen money of the Kobert Peel, ail tl. rol.lS contracts and corporations ; all the tenors tion ind ' ' • '?'' ^^^«^"^«f political dissen- nons and religious animosities, to -trenfrthcn their position against the rising 'tide of pi lie opinion and its invasion by thS inte.lige icv of the rising generation. ^ Such low r ^ detestable methods of gunrd- lijg their up. t position were alone worthy of such characters, who if a dispute arose even tri?. tf ^^^'' t°"^^ ^'^ the^exclusive a b " ZlZ ' ? '^ •'' '^^""P '^'* V'^^-^yvA-e purchased in the remoter parts of tl!is" counttv si.o.Id -uow it, as well ihe purchaser as the piice i\\' I 20 i 'k\ M v;.: 1 thereof ; and who, what they /ailed to ascer- tain tliemstlves, of poking their noses into other i)eople's business, were sure to iind out through the agency of pap-paid officials, of such sneaking insignificant, such brainless Suppies and illiterate j^ettifogging pimps as tacKenzie of Alexandria. To do them justice, however, it is in such matters so congenial to the tastes and inclina- tions of all blacklegs and buftbons that they could excel or even be expected to transact a skilful part. For in every position gentlemen in which they were placed requiring intel- ligence and tact, integrity of purpose and honesty of design, they have not only utterly failed to meet the requirements of the occasion, but have proved themselves the base bastards of intellectual life and the vulgar counterfeiters of political science. Who are they that they should receive the respect due to the benefactors of their race ? What have they done to merit the esteem of mankind, or to hand down their names to tlie reverence of posterity ? What work of public importance, what scheme of local /^ advantage, wliat literary or intellectual achievement, what measure' of scientific import or political utility have they ever been the au- thors or contriver's of. J know of none, and I deiy any other than a vulgar admirer of corrupt venality to mention their names with rcbpect. Mr.'Eldernap. — You have forgotten. Mi*. Fairfield, the Lancaster road ; excuse me foi interrupting you. l)ut I have heard it landed as a })iece of engineering skill worthy the age we live in, ^" ' and the ghum who designed it, and' aided its . ' ^ construction with government mone}-. ' Mr. Fairfield.— Surely, Mr. Eldernap,; you a'ro not serious. ^ I have heard indcedfiof such a road, ■ -' L I-have iteal'd of its 6w;, and I have heard too of the indimdual in whose pockets wer^ 21 quietly deposited the scandalous overplus ordered for its construction, and I have no doubt that the grittish triumvirate who shared the spoil do really in the conceit of their vain imaginations regard its mechanism as some- thing superior to the Victoria bridge, or at least equal in beauty and elegance to the via-sacra of the liomans. But seriously gentlemen, 1 would ask every honest and indei)endant num every reHecting • and cultivated mind, what claims coujd this compact have on our gratitude and ait'ection. A romnactbase and vilo of himcry rcptileK lank uiul lean, Who would knaw for gold tho vitals of our good aud gracious Quecu Is it for robbing US of our rights, is it for plundering us of our peace, is it for retardin^g our progress , is it tor maligning virtue and impeacliing honour, is it for scoffing at the mysteries of religion and reviling the wisdom God? Is it for gorging their corrupt hire- line's with the plunder of the orphan and the widow '< Is it for weakening our energies as a people or for plotting the ruin of our mstitu- tions and the destruction of our liberties ^ Gentlemen I know not, but 1 know that he '« Who knowB thorn well mu8t quit tboiu with disgust, Degraded mass of aaimatod dust Their love is lust, their friendship all a cheat, Their smiles hypocrisy, tJieir words deceit, '5v tiaMire vile, onnobVd imtby ninno, Each kindrtd bruto might bid ihcm bluali lor Hliamc. But no they are as incapable ol' shame as they fire insensible to honour and tli-^y stand before us wdth all the domineering i nsulencc ol upstart family pride, Miiri^^illvy^Ki stinking conceit ot t~u> . shallow pated puiHfeiifc)iefid^-, ^atn the unblnsh- -•-'r3 ing effrontery of ;««LVft}>irSii'«I wuh a^s rlie Dnai blood of the iath'JrrA^f -.the orpnaub ()t l>enu- -ir. harnais staining.; fthelhtiitids ot the.one, am u.b that of the Ay hvards crimsoning tho brow ot the other. m^ ■i m M y 22 Such revolting crimitiality will receive its reward such plundering thieves will meet their doonri — tne one at the tribunal of Justice, the other at the hands of an out- raged people. And to such a Fate will we leave them for the present consoled as we are with the solacing reflection that the day is fast approaching when we will no longer be dic- tated to by such illiterate buffoons, when the slumbering spirit of our people will awake again to freedom, when the youthful guuius of our rising generation will assert its man- hood, when the untrammell';>'^ voice of Wis- d(.ini and"' the beaming soul of classic eloquence will advocate oTir interests and our rights in the legislative Halls of our country. For such a day the dawn to us of social happiness and prosperity, of returning peace and plenty, when the Sandfield clouds of ignorance and deceit which now darken the intellectual horizon ot our people will be dispelled by the genial light of the rising sun of genius, do we indeed anxiously look forth. There are those no doubt who would gladly censure if possible these our aspirations and seek as they have sought before at their instiga- tion to impede our progress on the path of life, but M-liile we enjoy the coiifidenco and esteem of tliose sago pliilosophers who v^^atclied with f<»nd solicitude over our earlier years, and Avith tender care guided our youthful steps, to the vale of art and the hill of e^cieu'^e, we can well afford to smile at their censures and their malice, satisfied that if the sentiments expressed by us to-night with regard to those ignorant apes and political quacks may to strangers appear' harsh, they are nevertheless true, and areliitrtilar to those opinions which all sensible artti fefilfecting men invariably entertain of such humfiiltib^rtious. And for their edification and delight we will take the hberty of concluding our observations on the gentlemen with a song 23 composed by my friend Mr. Eklcmap, somo yesrs ago, for better and worthier cbaructers, but which is admirably adapted on the present occasion for an orphan's morning, noon and evening invocation : — " Oh God of ihym(! roll on the time, When death will make them civil, Come stop their clack, and send them back, To their black father Devil. Bad indeed as thistle weed, Which checks our fertile mowing, I compare them nigh the Hessian Fly, Which kills our grain while growing. All conquering death come cramp^their breath,. A nd bathe them well in brimestone, Then send them down deep to hell To turn the Devil's grindstone." Mr. Eldernap.— Well spoken Mr. Fairfield, and as the concluding lines wore so apropos to the subject I will forgive you repeating any poe- tical effusions, I may not have published as yet. I owej you a debt ol gratitude for the able manner in which you have unmasked tlie lives of those hypocrites, and I have no doubt my valued friend, Mr. Bradshaw, ex- Dresses the feelings of gratitude that I do my- presses self. Professor Bradshaw.~I have no words my friends, to express to you the satisfaction I experienced while listening to Mr. Fairfield's able and eloquent discoui-se,— the philosophic views and well merited sarcasms contained therein, alike instructed and delighted me.— But as I never knew that Mr. Eldernap inherited the faculty divine, and as Mr. Fairfield left the detestable crew in the dreary mansions of their Father, I think Mr. Eldernap should inscribe on their tomb a fitting and appropriate epitaph, and thereby conclude their obsequies. Mr. Fairfield.-— I truly agree with you, Mr. Brad- shaw. H r. 24 Eldernap.— I shall do so with pleadtire itiv friends, and as tlieir career hps been one of theft and robbery, we will all now drink^ to their death and damnation, by inscribing meanwhile for thair family vault. Full five and twenty years, We've shed both blood and tears, A treacherous crew, a harpy brood, Grim Death we long withstood. But now unhonoured and unblost Were you alaa 1 by satau sore apprest. i \ v.' ! FINIS. 1