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PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR BY WILLIAM BRiGGS 29-33 Richmond Street West TORONTO 1898 I 3 8 r f( s] INTRODUCTION What shall we do to connuemorate the year of our Queen's Jubilee ^ This is the ^juestiou we hear on all sides of us, and since I would like to do son.ething in ren.enibra;,ce of that glorious event I determined to publish a book, not because we have need of more (the world is full of books, I am told), but because I would give my testimony to the fact that Ood is true. A young girl once said to me. " Don't you think it is quite easy to serve God when you have everything that money can buy. and that it is very hard for poor people to do right ?" This question set me thinking ; yet I will not in these pages discuss it. but try to show that God does keep the poor as well as the rich. In the beginning it may appear that I have written for children, but if my readers will follow on they shall find that woman's sufferings, woman's work and IV INTRODUCTION. woman's .struggles for spiritual ligl.t, a, well as literal victory, are clearly set fortli. I com„,e„d the work to Ood, and p«y tl„.t it „,ay help some to see and realise all that Ood is willin. and able to be to those who trust Hin,. I would hke to dedicate this little work to the poor a„,ongst God s people, wherever they may be found Woodstock, July, 1897. Rosa Poutlock. P.S.-I was g,.eatly disappointed in not being able to carry „„t my plans with regard to bringing out th.s httle work last year, but circumstances over which I had no control prevented. I now, therefore trusting in the old proverb, ■' better late than never" send it forth. WooiisTocK, Jolj, 1S98. R. P. as literal I't it may s willintr I would amongst TLOCK, ing able ing out is over erefore, never," [|. P. 1897. WRITTEN ON THE DAY OF THE QUEEN'S DIAMOND JUBILEE. A xoBLE woman sits enthroned O'er Britain's wide domain; A godly woman o'er us set In righteousness to reign. A motlier, too, we 1. our Queen, Of cliildren far and near ; In sympathy and love she shows That they to her are dear. As suffering woman, too, she claimed Our sympathy and love ; When those slie held so dear were called Te to give a sharp scream. My mother, who was in bed. turned suddenly on heanng my voice. "You poor child," she said, "Did the^iuMse waken you up ? I am afraid you will take But the doctor-shall I ever forget the fright he gave n>e as he turned quickly-the instrument of tor- tare still in his hand-the ghastly tooth plainly to be seen-as, taking one step toward me, he said • " If you are not off to bed in a jiffy, I will put you into my big pocket." Now, I may tell you that a doctor's pocket was something to be afraid of in those days. Not very long before this time a little baby sister had come to our house, and we were told that the doctor had brought her in his pocket. I expect I had some con- fused Ideas as to being put into this man's pocket and being taken to some other house where they wanted a baby. Be that as it may ; I obeyed him and was back to my bed in a jiffy, which I took to mean, less than no time. childhood's days. 11 1 was very frightened, and lay shivering for some time. Then I heard him leaving mother's room. I also heard mother say to Bessie (who, by the way, was holding the candle when I looked in upon them): " Show Dr. Churchill to the children's room, and he will see that Mary is comfortable, and not too much frightened at his threat." Now, that I was frightened there is no doubt. But I controlled myself sufficiently to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. He stood for a few seconds at my bedside, placed a cool hand on my forehead, then left me, saying to my mother, as he passed her door, "All right, Mrs. Elliott; she is fast asleep." Then I heard the front door closed, the key turned in the lock and the bolt drawn ; after which I felt I could breathe more freely. Soon I heard Bessie go to her room. Then the watchman's voice again rang out, " Two o'clock, and a cloudy morning," and that is the' last I remember until the sun was shining through the win- dow next day, and it was time to get up. In those days it was customary for the watchman of the city to walk through his beat, calling out the time each hour, and describing the weather as above • Windy, rainy, cloudy, or moonlight, as the case might be. At the time of which I am writing. I was about six 12 THE HEAD KEEPER. yea,. „M ; yet everything i„ „„ eloar to ,„y „.e,„ory as it it were but yesterday. ^ School of that c,ty-i„.lutee„t, kind and fo„,, of his eh,Wren when they wereg„o»", which was abundant, was of that rich a„bu,-n shade, over whicli novelists rave and call a golden '-own. But, whatever othe. ,„ay call her, to L she was always lovely. As I grew older I became nurse and companion to her, and I loved her very dearly I had one sister older than I was-Julia. One baby iHtle darlmg. two years and a-h«lf old, and the wee p^et -tM " ""^'^ '=°'"'- ^""'' -- <'»* »d pret y, w.th brown ringlets reaching nearly to her shoulders. I was fair, and shall I say of myself pretty. I think I may venture so to do My our' were light and longer than my sisters'. I remember bemg very proud of them at that time, as well as later L.zz,e was a lovely child, and was always called the flower of the floek^ But Annie, the wee pet, was plain and dehcae; backward in every way But, let me here say, that as she grew up, she of all of us was the most am,able-a„d still is, though like the rest of us she is getting into yeara fHILDHOOn's DAYS. 13 I must now tell you, as I afterwards heard it ex- plained, how it came about that a doctor was drawin^r a tooth at midnight. Father had been suffering for some time from this same tooth; but being a back one, he liad put off as long as possible the losing of it. The March winds and April showers, however, had been too much for him. He had suffered so intensely this evening that he went to have it drawn. Doctor Symonds, our family physician, and his assistant, Doctor Churchill, were both away and not expected home until late. Father did not like to trust the young man in the surgery, so left word for Mr. Churchill to go to the house, if he reached home in time. He sat up until eleven o'clock waiting for him. Then, as he had not come, went to bed in great pain, only to be roused later to admit him. Dr. Churchill was a great friend of father's, and, though very tired, came off at once to relieve him when he heard that he was suffering so much. Shall we pass on, now, to the month of July ? Father had built us a lovely summer-house in the garden. And such a garden. I must try to de- scribe it. We will imagine you are going through it. As 14 THE HEAD KEEPKR. you walk on Observatory Street, you pass its lower end Look over the greeu hedge; you will see a border of flowers, then a wide pathway. Now turn he corner of the street and walk to your right hanHonie. The nuts I took to school ! I had no sooner left the shop than I was sorry, thou^di I ,lid not at that time realise that it was a sin. I .cnew only that I had done wron^r, and that I should be punished if I were found out. I did not eat any of thJ nuts myself, but gave them away to my schoolfellows. At noon I could see that mother knew all about it. Young as I was I could read it in her face. At the school to which we wont at this time, we had a half holiday every Wednesday and Saturday. The day I am speaking of was Wednesday, and we wei-3 to go with James Hill to his aunts garden to have fruit : then to go down the canal on a barge and walk back through the town. Eli^a Lock was to go with us. After luncheon, James told us to be quick and get ready. - Had I a foreboding that I could not go ? I think I IS THE HEAD KEEPER. had. Conscience must liave told uie that I did not deserve to go. I looked at my mother just as she was about to speak. " Can't I go, motlier ? " I cried, " Oh ! don't say I can't go." She looked steailily at me as she said : " .Alary I Mr. Stokes was here this morning ' I was convicted at once. The others went without me. Now, this punishment was pretty lieavy, yet I never thought it unjust, and I am sure I did not love my mothei less for it; neither did I blame Mr. Stokes for telling her. It seemed quite natural that I should be found out and punished. But what puzzled me so much then, and what I am sure now was unjust, was the fact that when my father came home that evening he whipped me severely. I felt that I had been punished once, and why should he whip me. I could have taken it all right, if I might have had it first and then have gone with the others. I am afraid I was very angry with my father in my childish way. I will not linger over the next two years. They were a mixture of joy and sorrow, such as nuist come to all children more or less. Mother was not at all strong during those two years, and at times had some very severe attacks of illness. My sister Julia had gone to live with grandjua, and I was left a good deal hat I did not just iis she ^'as I cried, " Oh ! : "Maryl Mr. ; convicted at lioavy, yet I [ did not love ne Mr. Stokes that I sliould )uzzled me so s unjust, was that evening le, and why it all right, e gone with ry with my 'ears. They ^ nmst come i not at all es had some r Julia had a good deal # childhood's days. 1() I to myself, choosing my own companions, which, I I daresay, were not always of the best. On one occasion— my mother being very ill—I was I sent into the town to buy something, and told to take I care of the change. Coming home I had to pass an j old woman who was selling oranges. Without stop- I ping to think, I bought one and I do believe I enjoyed ; the eating of it ; but as soon as that was over, I won- ? dered what Ishould doto account forthe missing penny. One sin led to another, as it always does, and^I said I had lost it; but my mouth was dirty, and I had to say that I had been eating orange peeling. Of course I was not ))elieved, and father was very angry. He told me to get ready to go with him into the" town at five o'clock and he would see about it. You will readily believe that I was unhappy. My mother was too ' to be even spoken to. No one else in the house but servants, and they were too busy to be troubling themselves on my account. It was vaca- tion time, so even James Hill was denied me. At last it was five o'clock-but it poured with rain Father said : " I won't take you out in this rain, so you may get your Bible and learn ten verses of the 12th chapter of the Book of Proverbs, beginning at the 19th verse." I soon learnt them : but how little I understood 20 THE HEAD KEEl'Kll. them, and learning them as a punishment was not likely to make mo love them. One niore naughty trick of mine comes before me as I write— yet with such a different result that I feel I must tell you of it. The October term had come and gone. Christmas was over, and my tenth birthday was drawing near. On the 22nd of March, I should be ten years old, after which I was to go to a school for young hxdiea. I remember how delighted I was to tell Jantes Hill all about it when he came to us for the spring term, and I believe he was just as much delighted to hear it ; for anything that pleased us gave pleasure to him. At last the great day arrived. James took us for a ramble through the fields. Eliza Lock and some of our cousins went with us. We had tea at a farm house and came back by the road. My mother's cousin brought his violin and played for us in the evening. We had a carpet dance, played games, and had a very enjoyable time. The next day I went to school. I also went to a Sunday School at this time. Something about which I will tell you by and by. I want now to toll you of the naughty trick I did. There was a small store, not very far from where we lived (kept by Mrs. Clark) to which I was sometimes sent. On one occasion, the article for i iS m childhood's days. 21 inieiit was not mes before me esult that I feel le. Christmas drawing near, ten years old, r young ladies, ill James Hill B spring term, :ghted to hear easure to him. !s took us for k and some of ea at a farm My mother's 'or us in the d games, and lay I went to at this time. y and by. £?hty trick I ry far from which I was } article for which I was sent being kept in the cellar, and only Mrs. Clark there at the time, I was left alone for a few minutes. Seeing a small piece of chalk lying on a shelf, I took it. We played a game at that time called hop.scotch; chalk was used to make lines on the pavement, and it was for this I took it. But this was not all. On the shelf was a nu)nber of figures. People sometimes got goods without money, and they were marked here to be remembered— no books beinf kept. Those figures I rubbed out. I had no real object in doing this. I simply acted on the impulse of the moment. I had no sooner done it than I was sorry, and on receiving what I had been sent for I got away as quickly as possible, The next day I was very miserable. I was terribly afraid lest father should get to know of it, as well as being really sorry for having done so mean a thing. During the afternoon some time I heard mother say she had asked Mr. Clark to bring her some flowerpots for the garden, and I asked that I might be allowed to fetch them from the store. Then, I thought to myself, I can say I am sorry, and perhaps they will not tell father anything about it. Alas, for good resolutions ; how easily they are broken ! In the meantime I went to have a game at hopscotch, with two or three other girls, and was the only one who had a piece of chalk. 22 THE HEAD KEEPER. Now, I ]ia,l made up my mind not to nne it. Yet when it WHS asked, " VVl.o's ^.ot a piece of chalk?"' I at once took it out oi' n.y pocket and be^an to n.ake he luiea Just then, Charlotte Ann, the ^.rand- c aughter of Mrs. Clark, can.e up and passin. by me dve^y hev dress a^-ay as if afraid of touchino- mine and with a toss of her head called the girls^o one' HKle, saymg i„ a loud whisper, ".she stole that piece ot chalk from my orandma, and rubbed out her %ures, so that she will be likely to lose a lot of money." I tried not to look confused, and kept on with what I was doing. But as I saw the girls movino- slowly away I called out to one of them, Are you not going to play, Bessie ? She answered quite rudely, " Who wants to play with a thief ! " This roused my anger, and stepping up to them quite fiercely, I asked, " Who calls me a thief ? Who said I was a thief ? If it was you Charlotte Ann, 1 II let you know that I am not a thief. So now prove it. " You have proved it yourself by guessing who said It," answered Charlotte Ann, scornfully. They all walked away, leaving me angry and dehant, ,,uite determined not to acknowledge my fault at all. When I went to the store that evening f childhood's davs. 23 o use it. Yet, 2e of chalk?" bec,'aii to make 1, the ^rand- )assincr by me )ucliinfr mine, ' gii'Ls to one )le that piece )bed out her lose a lot of ::ept on with girls moving- Are you not luite rudely, up to them hief ? Who trlotte Ann, f. So now, lessing who angry and vvledge my lat evening MvH. Clark asked me what I did with the bit of chalk I took away, I, looking as much surprised as I could, said I had not touched it, and persevered in my denial, telling many untruths. At last, out of all patience with me, she said, " You are a good-for-nf)thing girl. Go right home. You did take it, and you did rub out the figures. I shall send Mr. Clark to-morrow to tell your father all about it." I was very much frightened at this threat, and went to bed so miserable that I was not at all well the next morning, and asked to stay home from school an I did not go out at all that day. Every knock at the door made me tremble for fear of Mr. Clark. But he did not come until the next morning, which was Saturday. Then I heard my father's voice, saying, " Good morning, Mr. Clark." My heart seemed to sink within me as I ran away to the top room in the house, wondering what would be my punishment. Very soon I heard father calling to me ; but when I reached the landing imagine my surprise. There was father smiling up at me as he said, " Put on your sunbonnet, Mr. Clark has called for you to go to the garden with him, and your mother says you can go." I knew that the girls who had been taken to this 24 THE HEAD KEEPER. o.to™hedtogo,but„o,v,„ft„„.y,„,,w,avio,„. M.S. CJa,k 1„„1 forgotten to tell him. Boi- ,„v,elf I 7 "»'™^"">' -"™,e„. We ..eached the 'I 1 afte,. „ pleasant ™ik, the, „e spent a hap,./ h ! «"ll ^.''"'"''•''"^■'"'"'--a-'- ^lu.tweeanhn.Inithelunehba.sk-et Tl.e.'o «a.a bottle of n.ilk, two little glasses son,e «■>- p.os and han, ...ndwiche.,. Wlfen Te ha Clm.k s,noke.l a pipe f„, „ fe,, ,„i„„t^^ He thenealM n.e to hi., „We, p,,«ed his a™ •nd ,„e and ,,,,, he .onid tel, n,o a sto-y. ;: told ,ne all about a little girl who had taken Lav p.eceoi chalk and rubbed out certain figures tI: « sa, , 1«. caused a certain a.nount of ^rpLitv o -e by whon, the Hgures had been placed t eT a^I t «^ the ttlegir, had been led into nn.chsrS ^ .untruth. ..Do .von k„o„. Who that little gM Ml. r"', " """ "'"'^ ^ "■'" '=->"-"*^' bi A. ' «0"y- I also told bin, that I should have childhood's days. at, and I had bad behaviour, . and when lie felt sure that For myself I d the ^jarden ■ '^appy, busy it his watch, makes Jack a louse and see glasses, some ben we had t while Mr. Jed his arm I story. He tken away a fures. This •erplexity to d there, and uch sill by at little ijirl iig bitterly, it and that lould have 25 confessed it had not the girls behaved so unkindly to me. I think I see the kindly old face now as it looked at me, speaking such gentle wor.ls; telling me of One who. could see at all times, and who knew every thought of our hearts, who was so grieved when His chiMren did wrong, and yet so ready to forgive them when they were sorry, and would tell him so. Then in that quiet summer house, he, the old man, and T, a little girl, knelt down together. He asked God to forgive me my sin, to teach me what was right, and to help me to do it for Christ's sake. I can assure you, dear reader, that he took home a much happier girl than he had taken out. I nevev have, nor ever can forget tliat summer mornincr so long ago. Was not God beginning the good work in my heart which He has been carrying on ever since ? I believe He took my hand then and has never let go. The prayers of that good man were answered. I knew that I was accountable for my actions to One who was above all. I was convinced of the fact that wrong doing was sin, and that it grieved the Saviour This was as far as I had got, but I was soon to learn more, both of my own sinful nature and God's gracious love, for though He never let go my hand I have many times let go His ; but He has always drawn we back, and each time drawn me nearer. CHAPTER II. I'lilDE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. " ^^^'"^ ^""''^ ^""^«*''. «>«" Cometh ,shH,ue."-Prov. xi. 2. " I was fi waywHrd cliild, I once preferred to roam ; But now I love my Father's voice, I love, I love His home." yeai, to a certain extent, yet i„ God» ,,ood provi ,71': *° '"^ ^°"'' ™"''-"^' -« -dy and willing to It « June, and a baby boy who had been „ent to „, ---y.n. n wa., Snnday, the doeto.. had p. » "bed a warn, bath fo,.hi„, at five o'clock in the dT;mLT^""'''^°"'''"^°'"S""^«^Sci: and .0.11 be back n, t,„,e to help her with the bath. ION. -Prov. xi. 2. ice, ppy careless good provi- 3 decidedly I vvillinor to m PUWE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. 27 I .lid not care so n.uch for play „c,vv, an.l Imd begun to take upon niyself the nursing „f ,„v n.otln.r who, though not confined to her bed. was ^'n a very 'lehcate state" of health, and child, though I was I was never tired of waiting on her. I had uussed two Sundays going to school, so was glad to be able to go on tins occasion. I dearly loved n.y teacher. Miss i age. She was very beautiful, which was. of itself <'"ough to make n.e love her. I had then and have' now so nmch veneration for all that is beautiful But dear Miss Page was nu,re than beautiful she was good. She loved God with all her heart, and Jier neighbor as herself. Of her teaching and love to her scholars I will tell you after. I want now to tell you of the trouble ' awaiting me when I reached home. Just as I opened the front door I heard the parlor bell ring hastily and father and Bessie, coming into the hall from di - erent directions, entered the room with me. I ran forward, crying, " Oh ! mother, mother. What is it ^ ' At the sound of my voice baby turned his head gave me one sweet smile ; then, looking back at his' mother, drew a long gentle breath and was gone. How sudden it was ! We all thni„,).f i^- ^- »'ve an tuought him much Br. There had been no perceptible change, mother better said, until she rang the bell as he breath, and in a few moments all gave a little gasp for was over. 28 THE HEAD KEEI'Elt. Annie had to b. the baby again, an,I indeed, thou-di she was five year, old .he was not al,lo to wallc alone neither could she speak plainly; so that she could hardly be called anything else but a baby. You will roniember, dear reader, that when I was ton years old I went to a new school. A school for youn-r l.'ulies, it was called. You may also have noticed that as a rule I like to b. well thought of. whatever I nmy think of .nyself. I .... going to tell you, now. of a httle downfall of mine. When I first went to this school. I made up my "nnd to do my very best, and T soon found that I could quite easily do the work that was done by the . first class of girls, and why should I not be in the first class ? They had to learn the Collect for the day on Monday n.orning; a chapter of Pinock's Catechism for Wednesday, and Scripture history for Friday I knew I could do this. But notice the way I set a^bout It. 1 said to my governess one morning: "If you please, Miss Bell, mamma thinks I am quite old enough to learn the Collect." " I shall be glad for you to learn it." she said " if you can keep up with the other lessons, as you will have to go into the first class." "I think I can do so." I said, and I was promoted Monday morning came. My Collect was perfectly PRIDE LEADS TO HUMiMATION. 29 (-had, tlioudi ) walk alone, it she could '• You will w ten years 1 for youn<^ RiOticed that whatever I 1 you, now, ide up my und that I me by the in the first he day on Catecliism Friday. I [ set about : " If you quite old ! said, "if you will 3ronioted. perfectly learned, and I was heM up as an example to the others On Wednesday I did not n.i.ss a word of the chapter and again I was conunended for being the youngest in the class and having done the best. Dear me, how proud I was ; but e shall see. "Pride always goes before a fall." After a while I noticed the girls were very rude to me, when not observed by the teachers. They made no secret of their dislike for me. One day, after leav- ing school, they surrounded me, and one being ap- ponited spokesman, told me that I was only to learn my own questions and answers in the chapter for the following Wednesday, threatening me with all the most absurd things, if I refused to do as they told me " You know how we stand in the class," she said. "You just learn your own. We'll teach you to set yourself up above your elders." Now, their plan was as follows : The girl next but one above me in class was to miss her answer It would pass on to the next girl and she would cive it and pass up. The girl, who to spite me had agreed to be dunce for the time being, would miss next question throwmg me out of mine, and of course I should not know the next one. But, as I think of it, I am reminded of the proverb, " There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip," for on Wednesday morning all no 'IIK MKAI) KKKI'EU. '1 !.<■ KHs «•.« i„ tl„.ir |,l,..„,„t »ch„„l-..„,t „„, Tl,.. .M.«M .ntl,,.elas» w,. „,„,,,,,,,,„,,,,„,„„ ,^„„^,.; """'"'" ™"- "*■■■■ "-'— ,,„,,,. t„o„ «.e.ew..co„„t„n,ati„„i„..ei,f„e,,. Wl,„t „.„.■„ t,., to ,lo hvory ,,„,,ti„„ ,„„, „,„„,„,. ,^.^,^,^1 |_^^ ^^_^^ j- J 1.0 ti,„„«i,t of ti,i„ „„.,io ti,„„, „t„,,i,, „,,, j,,„. .,^^,,,^; k«,„,s a,„l our «ovon,o»,, before tl„. cLapto,- ca,„„ „„ wa, well ,„,„, pent «.itl, u. Of eo,„.„e at fl,e i 'i..«3t.o„ wo all ,«,ke,, at each otl.e, „„,, eoul.l -y one word as it pa^e,, down the eh«s. At th! second ,,„e.,tio„ we went thron,,,, all ri,d,t. The next Whor, but not a» it w,us planned by them L have be n n,y .hs^race alone. Sh„ told us that we could notgohcne until we could each repeat the whoe chapter The rest of the scholar, were di.,,„issL «.e usual our, and the key of the sohoolroon, door was turned upon us. This was a great punishment to me. knowing how well I had stood with Mi.,s Beli ; also knowing «,at I hated the thmg I had been forced to do. as learn n' was really no trouble to me. But worse was to coe" As soon as the door was closed upon us. I sat down and began to learn in good earnest ' but two or th ree IMUDK I.KAns To HUMILIATION. ;u <'l" tlu! ^ni-ls, l„.ii,jr ,,„it,, rockk.ss, took my ho„k from nu", plaml me in a corner and amu.sed tlicmMelveH l.y IMvtr.ulin^, to cry, tellinu' „u. it was all my funlt, anil .'.s I tliouoht mvHelf HO clever they would make me suffer for it. MisH Hell looked in weveral times to see if we were ready for her. As soon as she was hear.l at the door, my hook was given hack to me an.l we all appeared to be quietly learning our lessons. Four of the .,nieter girls soon mastered their task, and as they were leaving, kin.lly advised the other' two to let the poor chicken alone now ; they had teased it long enough. It was near six o'clock before they would say their les.son, though they knew it ; they were so detern.ined to pay n.e off, as they said. To this day I fail to see what I had done to annoy them, except it was the going into their class so much younger than they were and so soon after entering the school. I think, now' that It was unwise of Miss Bell to hold me up as an example. It touched their pride and made them dislike me. As the two last girls went out, Miss Bell was about to close the door when I burst into tears. She crossed the room, sat down beside me, putting her arm around my waist. ■• Can you not learn it, my child ?" she said. 82 THE IIKAD KEEPKH. '» 1 L'pTot."""' "'"' ''"" """ '" "■°"""*'- j-^'' "■« •Sl.e sUyo,l with ,„o until I was ablo to s„y it-„ot v-y 1-fectly, I foa... The,, „,.e toK, ,„e I ii, b.t J so back to ,„y M class fora while Ion,., a„d, .-eaJe, tl™ was the greatest p„„isl,me„t sho could have dvcu a .. ble ot kocp.„g up with the giri., of that class : yet I J.d not ,lare to explain to Mia, Bell. I could . ve o he tln-eats of those dreadful ghls, which to n,e at 1' ""'? "": ""^y '■-'• I eould not co,nplain to ny n other, because „„ one occasion I he„,,l he, .emark hat she thought Miss Bell was bnnging n,e on a httle too fast. Thus I had to s„b„,it to tl winch n,y own folly had brought on n.e. and, st.-ange say. as soon as I was back in n,y old class, the gil rf U.e first class were c,uite good to me, and all ^ent I pass on. now, to my twelfth birthday. As I look i^: Z ""■ '''° ™ ''-' •"■■«'" «' """ me. Mother was enjoying better health than usual. I was la,rly happy with my day-school companions and parfcularly happy in my Sunday School As went into the dining-room that morning, I saw several pa,«ls on or beside my plate, each co.Lning i-oubletl. Let iiie Jle to say it— not 1 ine I Imd better iiger, and, i-eader, could have given that I was (jiiite f that class ; j-et I- I could give ><)iier, on account which to nie at lot coin])lain to •n I heard her as bringing nie submit to that le, and, strange J class, the girls i, and all went ly- As I look bright at that 1th than usual, >1 companions, School. norning, I saw Lch containing PRIDE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. 33 some token of remembrance fron. a loving fnend Ihat which first caught my attention, however, was a letter directed to n.e, the contents of which pleased >ue so much that I will give them to the reader just j^ as they were. My Dear Mary,- " ^^^'^'^''^ 22nd. You are twelve years old, and I wish you n.anv happy returns of your birtlulay. I send vou as 1 okenoflove, a Church servicc'whicia.^^k you to make 3^our daily study. You will see n ore -'1 -ore of its beauty as you grow older, and th Z which now you hardly understand, will i . time b to you grand pomters as you walk on the heavenly road I IS nearly twelve years since I held you in n y Ir s of gJ 1 ^, "'''' '" """''^^^^- "^ Christ, i child of God and an inhentor of the Kingdom of Heaven God .S nf 1 . ^^'^'.P-tof Him; and a child of hento of so glorious a home. And that you may be a loya member, an obedient child, and afways fait f"l, s the earnest prayer of your affectionate cou ' and loving godmother, "'^'^ Emily Morton." fetter ? It .», mde„d, Mary." ™id ,„y „„tl,„.., ■■ and J 34 THE HEAD KEEPER. WLsliCH yo„ tu )»_to bo lovinj; ami oWienf "MayIUketh,-«letta.a„d.„,ow,-tt„,„yt,„eW.,. 0" Sunday, „,a,„,„a r I askod. ■■ Certainly y„„ ,„ay » said my mother, "if you wish" On the followi,,„. Sunday, after reading the above lette, aloud, a. I asked her to do. Miss Page spoke very earnestly K, us, entreating us to follow God's ^^ord,nore closely than we had ever done before. And she sa,d. one very good way in which to show our love to Go.1. was to try and win other, to the Sav,o„r. ..Can you not each try to bring one." We all said we would do what we could nuring the next week I went to grandma's hour,, and asked n,y sister Julia if she would like to go Sunday School with n,e. I told her what a nice pacher I had and how many nice le.,„on, I had learned from her. She said she would go if grandn.a would let her Grandn,a .«d. .■ Yes." and we were happy The next _Su,Klay saw us both at School the subject being Mi.,s Page, after .speaking very solemnly as to the nature and efficacy of p.^yer, desired us to go home "d q«.etly, „„ our knees, to ask Goy- The next iubject being ily as to the s to go home to make us She tried to PRIDE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. 35 impress upon our n.inds one great truth, namely: that whatsoever we asked of God-believing-He would do It for us. Julia went home to tea with me that afternoon, and I ren.ember asking her if we should do as the teacher had told us. 8he agreed to do so, and we went up stairs to my room, shut the door and knelt down. " Will you pray V I said, "as you are the okkstr "I think you had better," she said " because you have been to Sunday School more than I have." I think I remember the exact words of that prayer : " O Lord, our Heavenly Father, we have not been good children, but we want to be better. Will you please make us thine, and keep us thine, for ever and ever, for Jesus Christ's sake, Amen ?" After which together we repeated the Lord's prayer. Then rising from our knees, we kissed each other and went about our daily duties, the same, yet not the same. I do not think that anyone but our- •se ves and God knew about that prayer until years afterwards. But I believe it was registered in Heaven and both my sister and I are living witnesses to-day that God is a hearer and an answerer of prayer. Though we have both been led in a circuitous route as It were, through the wilderness of this world we' have been, nay. are being brought day by day nearer to God. 36 THE HEAD KEEPER. Passing on a little, we oo.ne to u bright Su,„lay i„ June and sad to »ay, the last Sunday Mi,s Pa„ taught ua The le«on was on .eturning good L ev.l. The Golden Text w,«. ...ove yo„;E;e,„i^" She read to us a little story called. • A Kiss fo,- a BIow^ A small boy got angry with his sister and truck her with a stick, then ran away. The father, ^ ho had been watching caught the little fellow and drew h,™ back to where he had left his „i„t„r, crying Now, Sus,e," he .said, •• i have got the naughty boy >v -t w, you do to him ?" Susie, with a littfe sob aftera glance around, s,,id « I will throw my arms' around h,.s neck and kiss hin,.»a„d.,o she did: the father walkmg away .uth .so.nething very like a tear in his eye. After readin. thus, . iss Page said " Girls, it is very likely as you .o through life you will have many an opportunity to do likewise and I hope that you will ^^Ivvays be ready to nieet unkindness in that spirit whenever and however it may come." As I walked home I remembered that I could act <^n his lesson at once, " for surely." I said to myself 1 have got an enemy." Sometimes, when man.ma sent me on an errand to grandma's, and wanted me to go quickly, she would «ay, Go through the alley and you will soon be *% :lit Suiidcay in ay Miss Page ling good for 3ur Enemie.s." ' A Kiss for a liis sister and TJie father, e fellow and sister, crying, naughty boy, 1 a little sob, nv my arms •she did ; the y like a tear 'Is, it is very ye many an at you will that spirit I could act I to myself, I errand to , she would II soon be PRIDE LEADS TO IIUMILIATIOX. 37 back." This was a narrow pass, called by the funny name of " Bullock's Alley." and saved a distance of about Jialf a mile At the entrance to this alley there were five steps, and at the other end aslope which took us on to a common, not very large, but where a great many boys went to play ball, etc. At the foot of this hill or slope, were a few cottages, occupied chiefly by quarry men and their families. From the first one of these cottages, a very rough girl would run with a stick every time she saw me, and by bran.lishing it above her head, frighten me very much. If I asked her timidly to please let me pass, she would stand aside and tell me to go. immediately running after me. Very often rough boys would join in the run never really hurting, but alarming me exceedincdy' so much so that grandma nearly always sent the' servant to see me past those cottages. Thinking of this after the Sunday teaching as above, I thought to myself, if God hears prayers and knows how much this girl frightens me, He will help me to be kind to her. So I once more ^"n obedience to that dear teacher, went to God and told Him of my trouble. The first time I went to grandma's, after this I asked if I might spend one of my pennies. I bought 38 THE HEAIJ KEEI.EK. t ™u,.c,UK,ya,,,i.,<..toft;fuil„ftl,o,,i..a„,,,.„tl,atan. upato,U,,,„,U„ti„,. „in alway, b,.i,„, and f„„ of .h,L.„co,„Oo' ™«. «!- As we were nboiit to le.iv,. I,,.,, i hands togetl,er savin.. ..(,," ,''" """^"^ ''«' , '" ""i'ns. '-oo'l-bye, dear girls- ,„.„ &«1 „, heaven bless and Iceep you always >■ ' I ."ust tell you about her funeral. It was a ve 7; °-. She had taken part in teacher llZ P>.bl.en,ght school, where she ha.1 a class of , rou«h boys (though never rough to her) I h r o re,uest tho„e boys carried her to the L,e her scholars, followed. * ""' ""=' ^''^' MnPagegavetoeaehboyanewpairof boots. (And ' "'KM of tho,se boys, but took special char™ nro v..hngthe,n with situat^ ,s suitable.) Wc2s T" wlnte dresses, with black silk sea fs ti f T 3l>oulder with white ribbon ClZ ™ "" for f).o 1 ^^"Don. uioaks were provided fo. the boys, as was the custom at that time Each > was at this )avi.s. one into her >ed that we 'eak to talk ^'oing Jioine lere?" We 'nod us, and >y one, she clasped Jier ?ii-ls; may vas a very '^ig at the s of poor, Lt her own i, and we, 3ts. (And he never ii-ge, pro- ii-Is wore on the provided i' Each rillDE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. 41 girl carried a bou.juet of flowers to be placed on the coffin before it was lowered into the grave. Now I must tell you there was one girl in the class, Kate Cox by name, who was not as attentive or stea.ly as Miss Page would have liked her to be. She often went out walking in the fields instead of going to school ; yet when our teacher would be more than usually earnest, or during the sermon, she would burst into tears, sometimes saying, "Oh; teacher; I wish I could be good and love God." Bear Miss Page asked her upon one occasion if she ever asked God to n.ake her good. She said : " Yes, I do ; but I forget so soon." In spite of all her teacher's love and special care, however, up to the time of her death, it had seemed to be in vain. As the coffin was being lowered, Kate began to sob quietly, yet violently, and Mrs. Page noticing her extreme grief, went over to speak to her. Poor Kate lookmgupand.sobbing,said: '■ I never can be good' now; never." The next morning Mrs. Page could not forget the look of utter helplessness which she had noticed in Katie's face, and on looking through her daughters class book, soon found her address and went to call upon her. She was surprised to find her ill in bed; so ill that her mother had sent for a doctor. lit I ^tt 42 TWK HKAJ) KEEPER. *''■"• 'V'waito.1 until he (vuncmwJ . • I--'-l^'--„ n.e ,Hu-sh.. of her '" ^'^ '^^ '^'^ '""<•'' -« i^"t, dear little thin., .ho ,Iid „ot troni I yon will „„t get l,c.tte- ? " "'■ """'"^ »V» •Slio saiil : " yes_ si,. .. "An,l,u-o,vou„ot,o„ytndie?"he,aid ■''1... ola»p„l he., hand., together el ";■■ '^"""'■■°". «"' indeed all p„,e„t „ ""■el. surprised, and he said '■ Whv ! ""'^ my child ? " ' ^''y "'o you so glad, " Beea"-.-„ I shall never do wrong „„„ ,„„,e ,, ™, t"n„„g directly to Mm P„„e with f ,' '" l.«^l.te„ed color, she »d, "Itl kVL^ °' ""' andGodl,a,,Wgi,e„„;^„_J^' I'ov.J..„„„„„, could not be good, however mncU t" d "" ' to take me hon.e." ^■''° ''" "'Kon'g This was shortly before her death ■ . . "fter carrying their l^lovcd te ch tC' "ZT san,e six boys carried Katie *^'''"'''' "'"^^ I think it i. a very blessed thought that God doea II JiejM-in^r that ^ 'i« imich as )nl)It' am-one n wJiich MisH 3r (luring one Harvey says d. 'n>ng, " Oh J were very ou so glad, t-e." Then ^ook and fesus now, knows I le is going ^ery soon ive, those JfOd does I'UIDE LEADS TO HUMILIATION. 43 not always take away the branch that hears n<, IVuifc in order that he may destroy it ; but sometimes " He taketh it away," why ^ Jt is bearing no IVuit; yet it is " in Him." He knows the .soil surrounding it is not good For it and He takes it away to fairer region.s. (I think to bear fruit there.) Dear readers, have we not got a Head Ke(,per, in- deed. " Behold, He that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber, nor sleep." It is nearly forty years since I followed this dear teacher to the grave, yet I claim that though she is dead she yet speaketh, for it is to her teaching T owe my first conscious knowledge of God and His wonder- ful love, and how full of love He is. Nothing very important took place during the next five years of my life. I will run over them i,» general terms and ask you to remember, as you read further, how God was still leading me; teaching me such things' as I needed to know in the work I was to do for Him later. They were happy, busy years. Two little brothers were sent to us during that tin.e. Harry, a black- eyed, handsome boy, and Jem, the most beautiful boy I ever saw-blue eyes and golden hair, like his mother's ; a skin pink and white as a girl's. For two years I went to a Saturday afternoon 44 "IK HEAD KEEMJii. I I '"''''■'•'"»»,lm,j.|,tl.yJli,,»T„vl,„. „ |„| , l,„Iia Tl,,.,, """"""">''""' "-..nt will, |,i,„ t„ W.«t boti, Mi,„ T„y,„, „„j j,i^ ' " '"'' "''"'* I feol end of the lesson „n , '" '"" '*' ■•«'•«''«' «'o you ask these voinur i. r . " -^ "®*^''' ■.*-..^:s:■r-:;:,:l•:;■■• ^he turned upon hin, i„ ,,er sluu-p bridit u -yH.o, .. wiiy don't you a«k then, . Y^? Tr"^' I get answers." """ "'^^ *'"it " Vou do, indeeil," ho said '• .,nJ t I certainly was surnris ^""^'^'^tulate you. y was sui prised at some of them " f I'lUDE LEADS To III'MIMATION. 4ft y who ufter- with liiin to •J «»".st Com- <> t'lo Uj)j)(.r !r.s. S— • »iin CoJii'cre, d CJu-i,sti)in which I fool soHsed. Or, 1 the power 't-'tl at tlie I not quite ■eacheil the ;ion papers '^ly clear, 1 I would ight Way, ■see that ilate you. 3ople n^et scarcely I mean, f but, as an iiiHtaiin' when I was a child, under the in- fluenc.' of MiHH Pajro, everything' I did was with a thou^'ht of .Jesus- would He like it, and so on ^ An- gry thoughts were, in a measure, subdued by thoughts of Him. Kindly actions were performed, many .times in a childish way, but none the less sm-ely they* were for Him. Under the iuHuence of M iss Taylor's teach- ing, the desire to work for Him was implanted. We worked fur the poor and we worked for missions. We worked for bazaaivs, and with the money gained we helped to build the John Williams— one* of the Hrst. if not the Hrst, ship built expressly for mission woi-k, and it was all done for the ^raster and in His name,' With Mrs. Symonds th^ 'caching had its place. But it was difierent under her teaching. We grew fond of learning; we searched the Scriptures: we dived into history, and she made it so pleasant that we loved the study. She taught us concerning the rites and ceren.oni.vs of the Old Te.stament. She made us understand the Jewish history, from the going down into Egypt, to the coming of Christ. But it"was a literal teaching, not calculated to reach the heart as that of Mi.s8 Page had been. With her it was always the loving Father, and Jesus the dear Saviour. With Miss Taylor it was our God and the Master. With Mrs. Symonds it was God Almighty and Jesu.s Christ. 46 I u THE HEAD KEEPER. S" 'lueen, who was v s tincr i,, r„,.i , was introduced to n« HIDE LEADS TO HUMILtATION. '• She took pent a great i frequently casion I re- open to us, n Enoland, 'k English, in a moat size, and I but clear. 8 done up fully nine ^els. She her shoes 2ied with J silk; a ntre and der with i' a visit le of the ishop to >mpared »e same 47 iurmc- tliose five years was the marriage of James Hill to Jeannie Crane. He obtained a curacy in Spoffbrth, a beautiful little place in Yorkshire. We sometimes heard from him, but still to a certain extent he had passed out of our lives. James Morton, a cousin of my mother's, almost unconsciously slipped into his place. He was also at St. John's College, but an en- tirely different character ; he was always to us cousin Jem, both at that time, when he was full of mischief, and later, when he became the full true servant of God. At the time of which I am writing, I think he was ringleader in all the mischief he was constantly telling us about. I will tell you of one of his esca- pades, which might have endod disastrously, but for the good nature of the Professor on whom the trick was played. It seems this Professor was very strict, very stout and rather fussy. So this cousin of ours and a few kindred spirits, thought they would serve him out, as they termed it. The old gentleman never walked, if by any means he could ride, and they were deter- mined that for one day he should walk or stay at home. He kept a close carriage for his own use, of which he was very careful. He had it covered every night with a linen cover, made purposely for it. About three miles from Oxford there is a place called ttmm 48 '•'"K IIKAi) KIOKI-Kit If ' ■■'i it "»kI",v \v,,„,i. r,„„„„, |. '^"» "... „,;„ „„.,::,:::;ir;:':i!tr'^"?"">' ^ ;-^- •''■' «'■' ■• '..• c,„. ;.„, , , , : ■•''"' and so on. ^^""'^ "''^'t ss Atlastthey^ofctotl.ewoo,Isan,I ..(> , .natter. The ".loo '^"^- ''— ' What is the " ,,^^^^,.,^.^^J-'--u.,. open, and boh There is perfect silence for .. broken, however hv H p '"""^- '^^'""^ '« ^^t^er, by the Professor, who sftv^ " W ii 8-tlen.en, you have brought n,e ] ere ' ploasure-I mn^i .. i T ""' ^^'"' ^^n i n.ustusk you to take n>e back for nnno." .ti^ ties (|)(H)j)Io I fcllr iK.xl, '' cun-i.'ip^ 'uid loft '<>\v they li«! nii.s.sod i>«xt (lay, I'l niood ily liavo tlOHS. no (liffi- 'ivo tlio 11(1 how- •I'liotly tt i.s tho lie Pro- riuM 18 " Well, ir own mine." I'lUDK I,|.;AI)S to III'MtlJATION, 40 With tliut h., cl<,so.l tho .|(,„r, and my couHin h.uM, " Woju.sttook him hack, without a woni, tho whoh3 thi-o(! mih'H.' 'I'lx'y fully (^xl)oct(!(l severe piniiMhiiK^nt of some land, ami the next day waited Humcnvhat impatiently for a Hinnmonn to his presence, which in duo time came. 1 will ^rive you tho result as near as I can re- member in my cousin's own woi-ds : " V' '< ou^rht to have seen our faces; some as lon^r as .. '...Mle; some .piito pale; some sayin^r 'I don't care us plai.dy as words could have spoken. Hut wo managed to got up to tho line, and, by George ! if the old fellow didn't burst out laughing. Of course, when he laughed, we all lavighed. But it was a l)it shaky, I can tell you. We couldn't toll wliat to make of it until he said, ' Now, my young friends, did you really enjoy your trip last night ?' There was sil- enco in the camp. *" I would like an answer,' he said ; so, as nobody seemed inclined to speak, I nuistered courage to say, ' We enjoyed the trip there, sir, all right.' " Ho burst into another hearty laugh, and says he, ' Then, gentlemen, I enjoyed it back, so we are quits.' I bid you good morning ; but don't run away with niy carriage again until you have looked inside of it.' "My I Just as soon as we could collect our scat- 4 oO 'rWE HEAD KEEPER. tered senses we o-nvo *i,. ^. ' "- not to bo ,:: r I'T ""•" ^•"- " '-"«- I. otareii, 1 eim toll you " »ewero,.IIve,yfo„Joft|,isbri„l,t oms, and I ,ook back with ,„„c , , ^"" "°"'"' "' »^/, instead of ao^l,°''''""™'^''°»°^ know -''0 was in delioato healthtr, ?/™*'™'"'« -. «™yea.u When be I 1 7 ':-""'"' '"•■"'- wife who waa bo™ 7 r '"■°'«'" '"»"« «• «>°ugh of EnXlot r'" ""^ "■ ^'■"-«' had left Oxfo,d and V """"■ ^^ '"=■•> «« ^o in Devonshire ""^ ^"'^^"'«' "i"' a living --e'^w^irid'irr-Tr'"-^- '"tensely, bnt patiently „nt1 „,e T ^ '' ™''^"<' -Weh took place aft!/ e,!e„'""' t '" '"'''' with two daughters T„t T , ^ ' '""""& W™ *-'ctte.wVtt,^::^*'>"^-'°n,y readers Baptist. These will "°"'' ^'>° was a -»-nsse„ti::nr;t:;:t::;r7V" -r t:ir tl^^ - - ^^^^^^^^^^ ^«at Head KeepeJi "h ' '"'^"' "'""^'^'' ""•* °nr 'or ever. leadin^'^i *;:n'"'"'''^' '""'"'^ ^"^ who are His. ^' ^"'"^'"^ ""^ ''«>Ping those til a hearti- y cousin of to t}ie time ' not know clergyman "'in's son, 'i him for t ijome a* Pi'uasia, er, as we a living his wife suffered r death, ng him I'eaders > Was a *nt, his 1 of his f» I so at our ly and : those CHAPTER III. TROUBLE AND SORROW. " Come unto me all ye that kbor ,«ul are heavy laden, and I will give you rcot."— Matt. xi. 28. To-day all joy and happiness, But all is changed to-morrow ; The gay, bright happy smile is chased By sad swift clouds of sorrow. All things liave an end. So those five bright years of happiness passed away to give place to so much sorrow. My father made certain speculations and failed. I do not understand their nature, but in consequence we had to leave our home, the dear old home we loved so much. My father took a podtion as book- keeper in a house of business at B , a small market town about twenty miles distant, and thither 52 THE HEAD Kb'Hr'Iill. we went mr]y i,, Fobnwrv rt I .■e.uon.W... Wo an T °" " '''"'■"•'"^. "".e of t,.o„We ,..ve.. tZ to.JZ n7t T " o..ro„e servant wa. take-. ,low„ Th / *^' ""J I on the .,an,e day Ho inT ' "'^ ^""""' the afternoon. "'°'''""S' "'' I i- Oh! how I fought against it Tl i _, min.1 hoinir Wh»t •,, " ■""*" on my eing, What w,li ,„y ,„„ther do? When n ^'•'■nbly came I went forward to ,„ / , ' "S I crossed the roon, W,! „ ™ ™y'"«' TLat wasmv last e """ "^ '"<'"'«■ *? Wits my last conscious tliono-lif f^, i It w"s most difficult to J " ""« *"""■ -e.-o afraid to eome ne^^ "T^' "°'' '^^"^'^ trouble, however D ^^ *f^ ''"»'■ ^"er some «K- to take tls n t^wit '™t "■°"'^" " liours each. ^ *'"' ™ twenty-four She «to d e ; .1V™*''»- of « -other's ,ove. on his feet Ch "^ '""■"• ™» "- -ore «he wa. not to W -^ "'" '° '"' ''^''' «■'"<=■> On ti: .td 7;;:: ""'" """" '° ''-«™-- < 1 ROUBLE AND SORROW. 53 (I Tuo; >.S(Iuy, noon. On 'n tSuturday, was called en began a a few days my father g< and I in Jen on my When Dr. m saying-, other do ? long time. >8t people l^fcer some 'omen to mty-four mother, sr's love, ice more 1, which r grave, irthday, s. The I I » two little boys were better; Susan, the maid, was just able to stand; I was very ill; Annie low and weak, and thus another week passed away. Shall I ever forget the last time I saw my mother before taking to her bed ? I was hoping soon to be allowed to sit up, but I took a relapse and on the 2nd of April was still very weak. It was on this morning she came to me for the last time. She called on her way down, as was her custom. As she kissed me she said, " Darling, will you let Susan wait on you to-day a little more ? It tires me so to get up and down stairs." She did not mean to reproach me. Yet, looking back, I see how selHsh I had been, sending for her every time I thought I would like to see her; and she, poor dear, never refusing to come. When the doctor came that day he told my mother she had better go to bed. But she begged of him not to insist on it, as she was sure if she gave way and went to bed she would never leave it alive. The next day she fainted and had to be carried to it, where, on the 15th of April, she passed away, like a tired child. Her death was so great a shock to me as to cause a second relapse, and for twenty-one days my life was despaired of, during which time I knew'^ very 54 THE HEAD KEEI'EK. little of what was ffoinxr on To a. • , great «hock. Thus it an f .. T' "' ^' "'" ^ and low. There was h. ^'^^ '"^' '"^' '^'^'^^ dearn.other oir f^^^^ - one to follow the l^eai reader, are you wondering where Jnlin v and L zzie ? I shn„1,i i x , , "*^ ^^'^^' • 1 snouJd have told vou fJmf t; • to pay a vi.,H to a eo„™ „ho li^™;"';' ^"^'V™'" -- to havo joined „s i„ B—lfe. "''•'"'""'"■ "" but when ,ve knew that our Ul^TZ "" T '' decided that she sh„„M 7 ^'"""'- "' ™= --, the, hoth wanted re'rr::;;" ^ «tv\ay. It cjtjar errandnin )in^ u ,. . ;:ir-'' '•■■--•■•'- --Si uneven .round T . ,m ^ ""'' "°' °» ^ny -f- M;hai:hadh:rn:u;rr^"'^'"- i;^i^3ee,„to™etha:r:o::::;x^^^^^^^^^ It was n Anril i.,«f » n ^ ^^^in. *^aeihad:::^iratr:t:rr"""" ■ 'eft .„e I ,.ad„al,y beeame Zn'^: i ''" '"'' — .atthisti^e. xthon;:?:,:—-^ to . TROUBLE AND SORROW. ii«o, it M'as a t hei- weak > follow the I one of the tirne. ■ Julia was, Lizzie went fiiwall, and ere settled, ver, it was d grandpa ither. ()f ^ey Iieard fuled and iving, she ' died the gliteenth r on any '' former ead, and ^ again, ■s death en they LS very dealing 55 s ^ imrdly with nie. But I know now that it was not so. He was only leading me up to the work He had for me to do. Oh ! why did He take away my mother ? was my selfish cry. But many times since I have thanked Him for sparing her the suffering and putting it on to me instead. But I miftt not anticipate. I must go back a little and tell you that father had taken as a housekeeper one of the nurses who waited on us. She had (as she then said) two children. They, of course, had to come with her. I did not approve of this plan, and tried very hard to prevail on Susan to stay with us, but her mother insisted that she should go back to Oxford, and the housekeeper was duly installed. For some reason. I did not like Mrs. Jonec. Yet, she was kindness itself to me, waiting on me with the greatest care. Shortly after this Dr. Grimbly said that a change of air would be most beneficial to me, and I had almost made up my mind to go to Oxford to stay, when one morning father brought in a letter, appear- ing to be quite pleased about something. After a little teasing he told me it was an invitation to spend a month in Bristol with the Wagners. I did not want to go ; it seemed so far away, but he insisted that I had no good reason for refusing, so behold ma 56 THE HEAD KEEPER. one bnVl.t .nornir,^. on rny wav tn n f i -- to .suy a day o. two [o W^^^^^^^^ on to Bristol. ^ journoy. thon Isabella Wagner h:„\ been ,nv .] Oxfonl. an,I Mrs W,. ^^ ' co„ipa„ion at fHends I e!^^,^ ^^ *"^^' '"^^ -^'-^^ were great '--,I,spentaver,p,.aj;: ;^:4'7'^^^;^-^ was a beautiful gi.l f„„ ^. ""'f "'^'"- ^^^^ -^^^pH.Mi.. lUin ::/::;: - she was near me Tf 7- 1 . *" ^^'' while ^/bT ''"''"''"''' "'^''»""»*^'™e. Mary r ■• , '*^ a^ain what we have to do " .«ow many more times am r f ^ „ said. lau^h,-,.,, .. That yo^ a -o t" h '°" ' " ^"^ -to «.e we,, and wi»M„d L: Im b'"" '^"' '°°' what you wish for." ' '"'''' '" ''"'o TIIOUHLE AND SORROW. rd, where I '»■»(% then npaiiion at were ^reat each mein- shown to iety about -in. Bella 57 chief. si^y sad while iiehow, to i-y a visit Mary ? " led. ' I said, ?" she is, looic o have " What are you ^'oinrr to wish for ? " I said. "That you may stay anotlier month with uh. At least I would wish it, if I thou^dit it would come true." " Well, dear, if you can comply with the recjuire- ments it will come true." " And would you stay ? " eagerly. " Dear Bell," I saifo ; I cannot be chan^.0,1. I shook! ^ "^'''^ ''"^^' ^ '""«* *i '• X NnooK naiKis vlUU i • Diek was my cousin. He,,„,?ri,. r -ned t,.en .,o ,o.„ ^ "icM ^ r" '''' '"'"" W and C„a..ne",...! t:" ^L^\:[ ^"■^^*- ^eeraod that we had all .rown „„ w . , ""' " home to hmcheon. and s^rthl f, ^^ ^'""'"'^ over old ti,„es. I will Tt "" j""™""" '>' talking »»!! talk- butim' . n '' ^'"' ""> "" our -reminderhTrrtli—i-r--^ At the ti„,e we attended Mi "'j ' =''"' ^™- on Saturday afternoon, ou^],':"''' ^.""» -=- -arkably p.tty, very eJe: ^^ ;:~; «'- poor. Now, a clever reader win .» ™'''>' ";« characteri^ti. we:totTi ^r:::;- """ a", yet m:j7^:z "r j'r -^ * '-^^d u, ^Ve were never in Lri?"' ""' "' " '''^'<'-- nv,ted to her house and she never I "^o ; I CHiinot ''^'H' I iniiHt "■"/,'. " I am •ut .sorry fco our trouble i"ff in the ays, which tiy sweet- it now it t Charlie 1 talking ^l all our which I •est you. ble class ons was nd very ive that ler pop. o stand ated us stance, never TKOITHLE AND SOU ROW. 59 visited any of us— always saying, when asked, tlmt siie was too busy. 8he attended tiie Bible class on Sunday afternoons, of which the K.-ctor's wife was teacher, and here the ice whs broken. I really think she worsliipped Mrs. .Jamer;/., who also took an inunense interest in hei . Mr. Cameron kept a Ciimte ind at the time of which I am writin"'-e' 'e"a"e,andthe,are:h:;tte'h::tr"" on.?:r b: ::: ?r *^-"^ w was an 'earned afterwards thai "Lit :::"7'"' "" ' after some conversation wiM, 1 , °'""' »"'' -MHketohea:i~':„'r^;^^.'--«^l.e wa., the one hope of her lif I "'^ """ " t»-o ,ea.. and ^ e„ h 1 1 JeT ^^ '° ^'"°°* '°- the rectory and married f, '^^ ™' "^" "> ve.al tunes from then, indirectly, b„t Charlie i !t" TROUBLE AND SORROW. Gl figly> " Yes, onrse, love and beino- " Who do and she ^^iy Lucy th a quiet could not ', because was an e drunk- sbe said 1, and I Jse, and ' if she that it lool for ken to te, and m two 3r ten, We lai'Iio } who was a cousin of tlie orphan children, had heard from one of them shortly before meeting us in Bristol. He said they were all perfectly happy, and that Lucy had a little son and daughter. Surely, sometimes we find truth stranger than fiction. Plans had been made for us to go to Clifton, and Mrs. Wagner asked Charlie to go with us; but when the day appointed arrived, I was not able to go. I would not allow anyone to stay home with me, but insisted that they should all go and enjoy themselves, promising that 1 would be a good listener when they returned. I had received a letter froni Eliza Lock, a friend of childhood, introduced to the reader in the early pages of this book. I took this day on which I was alone to answer it. I will place here a copy of it, so that you may be able to judge of the state of mind I was in at that time. „,, .- ;^ "Iiristol,July 12th, '56. "My Dear Eliza,— " I received your kind letter and hasten to answer it. I cannot say I feel much stronger. Mrs. Wagner and Bell are extremely kind to me. We were to have gone to Clifton to-day, but I was not equal to it though I insisted that they should go without me.' IJie cottage we live in is built on a hill and, us I look trom the wnidow, I can see into the far distance on all \-> II 62 '"'! ' ■y t THE HEAD KEEPER. Sides of me. In one direction is the citv fn , n ...y life wLTo n' ;, i 'r«, :"V"'?' " f °"^" had .eve. i„„e. ../JuMf^d I ^ ";; l^ There js, moreover, a presentimonf r.f •, ^' mind, which make; „rra :,"^ ^ ^l'^ "^ home again. Mrs. Wagner verv m, ^h T T ^^ «'ay until I am bette,f hut I fanZt H ' ""• *° desire to get home is so strong wZ ,',,' L^r"'"? go. It k now the 12th of July a, T L, f ^ """" the 6th of June. Three nionths' a^o 1 J"'"' "" taken fi-om in„ Ti, i '""""' "8° '"Y motlier was ■tII r T ,^'' '■"' ™''<''' »he said to me were- one who asiiired at Ipnaf f^ v ' """^ ^^ not trust h^r. B:'t t ^0^^";^"',:"" I '" udge her; I may he wro°ng I hope la.n 'l l™' '° a"p:p;^/:h^: *:rr tl' -- :" »« as I cannot walk far aJl\ ! ., ^° °"^ ™"^^' aownstai.withou:artin:r;i*x?,:^ y TROUBLE AND SORROW. O.I 1 another i a forest, i-s thougli ^v I Jiave it strong-, upon my ;st to get ts nie to yearning Lt I must lioine on 'lier was ne Were : i^re I'ing- it home, n father five me I do me through i. She but as k1 I do not to lurpose 3xford ill call much, ip and y love to Clara and George; also to your father and mother, and believe me to be, " Yours sincerely, Mary Elliott." After writing my letter I went out for a short walk, then rested until our travellers returned. They had spent a very pleasant day, and I greatly enjoyed their description of it. On the following Monday I left for Oxford, and on Wednesday for home. How I found things there, and liow they appeared to me then, you will best see by another letter I sent to Eliza Lock, which I will give you in my next chapter. a CHAPTER IV, WE 00 TO LIVE IN LONDON. " O thou of litMe faith, wherefore did'st tliou doubt ? " —Matt. xiv. 31. "Hide me, oli ! my Saviour, hide, Till the storm of life be past ; Safe into the Have ^ »;uHle, O, receive my soul at last. " "My Dear Eliza,- "J«ly 24th, 1856. " Once more I am at home and will keep my promise of wn mg to you. It was noon on Wednesday when I reached B-_-. Father was at the stadon to i stmTo' 1. r •?,":? "' ""'' '^'''' ^'' '^^' disappointed, I still looked so 111, though I tried to be as cheerful a 1 got to the house I received a shock that I cannot forget. I feel I must tell you all about it. The Tor was opened by Mrs. Jones, the housekeeper. But, oh ! A WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 65 ubt ? " tt. xiv. 31. 1856. promise y when ition to pointed, er-ful as d when cannot be door iut, oh ! dear; wliat will you think ? when I tell you that she had on one of my dear mother's dresses and the last cap she had worn before going to bed. Her hair was curled in the one single curl, in imitation of my mother's, and fastened back with the tortoise-shell side-coLibs I had given to mamma at Christmas in her stocking. (You will remember what fun we used to have filling each other's stockings at that happy time. Many a secret we have shared with each other as to our presents.) I cannot tell you what I felt. She came out smiling with outstretched hand ; but I could not take it. Each article I ha\ .^ mentioned met my eye at a glance and I burst into tears. My feelings were mixed. I was angry with my father for letting her wear them, and angry with her for presuming to touch them. Imagine, if you can, the difference. When we went first to B , she took in washing, and went out to wash by the day. She can neither read nor write ; speaks very broad ; has a coarse voice and is plain-looking. Of course these are none of them faults; but, certainly, I think there are very strong objections to her wearing my dead mother's clothes and imitating the style of her hair. (You, dear Eliza, will remember those auburn curls, how daintily she arranged them under her pretty caps.) " But this was not all. Wher. I went to dinner there was another vexation. The table was s.m' for not our family only, but for hers. She herself took my place. A strange, rough boy was there, which, after I was seated, she told me was her son. He had 5 60 THE HEAD KEEPER. [ i i: I? 'I a been hired in th. country as plougi.-boy, buf was out" neart feels ready tc hi-pat ( i i i ' -^ benpvf A .•^'' "^'^'^- ^ ^'o"ot know what wi'I be next Aunt Sarah said she .vouid be hr-iv on Sai urday to .tay over Sunday; so I .h»Ii ellTo aW.t.andIhope.hewinb.able:.,^ r^i :=?^i^;:tor?t""^"°-^-^^' prer«.ne. .1^1' . ^ ^^^'' ^"'^^' ^^^^out lier ^u::i:i^:^:z :::-'- ^^-„i.e.,,oveto " Yours ever, "Mary Elliott." very ^'i^rlTgeZry ^J-Ti ^^,1 ri'Lk that I had some cause fo,- grievance, and I had greater cause later. an 11 bought material for othe... so that she may -tboaloser. She was surprised, but did as I asked towards father, as also to the children, being careful to place her-s and my mother's on equal terms Alto- gether,t was trying, and I h,d not any h„ My heart and faith at that time was in deep sh ' . WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 67 'Ut was out you, home) » i»ore ; my what wf'I '1'' on Sat- ell her aii ise ohi J id me the ithout her ny love to OTT." could be as I look yet I feel d I had clothes, she may 1 1 asked manner careful Alto- P % •: T. When I thought of God, it was to wonder why he had taken away my mother, and wliy I could not get strong and well, yet I did not go to Him or ask Him why. Of course I said my prayers, but I simply said them. One day Mrs. Grimbly called to see me and we spoke of Mrs. Jones. She advised me to ask faiher to get a good, strong girl, we were expecting Lizzie home, and she thouglit between us we ought to be able to manage nicely. I thought so, too, and took the first opportunity of speaking to him on the sub- ject. He said, " Wait until you are a little stronger, then we will see about it." Thus things went on un- til near Christmas. Lizzie came home, and I felt better for having her with me. Dear Mrs. Grimbly called on us frequently and often took me home with her, but in spite of all I continued to be an invalid. One day Mrs. Jones came, saying she had some- thing to tell me, "But I am afraid you will not like it," she said. I felt sure that I knew what was com- ing and at once became quite calm, so long had I made up my mind what course I should pursue. "You had better tell me," I said. " Your father has asked me to marry him, mi I thought I would like to have your consent, too, and we have decided that it should be soon." 68 THE HEAD KEEPER. M " ^^ '"^^ ^^"1^ be, then, whether you had m v . ^ sent or not?" " Well ves ni /^°^" ^^^ ^"^ con- bonnet, as .t would save buying new ones-Th could keep the rest of her clLltf ^'' the children," ''' ^°" ^^^^'^^^^ ^"d "I was stunned for a moment, then I found • to mv " \i™ T round voice ^^' "'^- •'<""'■''■ you have been verv kind t„ ™.ti„g on ,„e and paying me eveJn kT ' ever look up to you as a .second „,„t,,er yon must know ,s .mpossible, and certainly, if „,„ J, " ™"'' 3 you („Heh, cannot prevent) I Ziit!: ::: atrtrfrrri^^^T''^"^-'-''^'--"^ J ' ""^ 5 ior 1 wouJd sooner beo- fvr..« i ^ , .. Why r ' '■" "'™''' ™^^ P^'« -d -.ply .aid encetr"'' " ^"'"■■" '"^'-^ '^ '°° »"* of a differ, ence between you and my own mother TWs made me so anm-y that T ln«f . -d turning «erce,y upon',, : I Va ' V'TT iaaju, j.,o, indeed, WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. '• J «naii not be so cai-elu fo (rivo .v.m pleasure aftorwnv,i. . tl,i« r l ■! ., ^ without answenng her. " "«''"'« ■■oom When father came in from business he „„,1„ -n.arlc about n,y looks and asked J I ! T"" n>y medieine re^dar,,. f t,„d h U^tt *"f wa.. troubled about son.ethin,, „„d if blwo: ; Cl ™fora,v,dkafterteaI„ou,dte,lhi„,„|,aL:: 1 - made M... Joues look furious at me, and I dd not lorget to return the look with interest. Ft took me for a walk ,« I ^ked him. and we .at .^ tlie whole matter over. He said he I, l """ .-n.y M... Jones, but that hi ::':rr, •" so, and wished that he could Tl ^ ''"° ^i«-^Morsheh.de:rd::i::rci:Lt many ways. But he .said, ' Don't wony a^ut if f -=-toinly will not be s, ,„, and if you dTn 1 I her to have your .other., clothes, .hy^'n^,;,"' SO, that's all." -^ '' "^ ^^'^ ^^^'^ So in thip c, .certain war thino-Q after Christmas As I look b 17 °" ""*^^ T- .^ ^ ^°'''^ ^^^ck I wonder ai mvself Ijust dragged through those ^;avs f«Hn T interest m anything. ^ ^^ To mend and make rl, i.;u watre.,thtodo,an..i,."^!-;r,:^'::j WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 71 to ffiVL" nie ?l'ul to give - the room iiacle Home 'as taking but that I ould iake I about it. and I did • Fatlier ^'e lullced oiiiised to had done It of the 5h and in ut it, for »'t want tell her n until myself. y little that I •ther I went to church or not. 1 did not like the clergyman, and I could not understand the .sermons he preached. He was a gentleman, no douht, and a schohir ; hut I do not hesitate to .say (even now) that lie had mi.ssed his vocation. My dear mother had be«>n buried two months, when one day I went to walk up and down in front of the house, so that I could rest every few minutes, as I was not able to walk any distance. As I walked, I saw him coming towards me with his two little o-irls. I noticed that he spoke to them and they i-an back the way they had come and ho cam.^ forward. " Are you Miss Elliott i" he said. I told him I was. He did not attempt to shake iiandn but appeared to be nervous and anxious to pas^ as he said, " You have had a great deal of trouble. I am very sorry for you." I remember looking steadily at him and saying, " Are you sorry ? My mother died and you never saw her." He said, "No. You seel have a family of little children, and I was told that your mother was very deaf. I did call once at the door." That was all. It was the first and last time I spoke to him duiing the time we lived there. But this is a digression. As I said, Christmas was pa.ssed. I was 72 THE HEAD KEEPER. r f'! careworn .„d a„xi„„,s. Mr. Jones waa irritable and cross With the cliildi-en. One n,on,i„s when , „ot down stairs, I foun,! Mrs Jones ,^ „„ „, ,,,,^,^^ ^_.^^__^_.^ ^^ __^__^ ^ k, «j,o snid, I am ^ro,r,^r away. We are o «on,, to be .narried yet, as your fatbe": tbi.ks Will look better to wait awhile "■ iVtber told ,„.. „,,en „e e. bon.e to d er that ' " '^."' '"' """«' '» """■■■>• iHT at all, for she h«,l dece,ved Inn, so n.,ch, and n,i„inforn,„d hi,„ on many points. ^'' Wo were .ettin. on very nieely. Tl,„ ehildr,.,. fcot a etter from Annt Sarah (the widow of mv ™ ters ,y brother) asking hin, to go ,o for^ and help her to paek for New Zealand. Her brot e^ Who was a bnilder, was going, and as she , : ' boysshe ec,dedthatitwonldbewisetogo.too. We had very kind neighbors, so father obtained 7 " "'^"'^ -^ -"'• One week afterwa-J ^ :Ti "" ""''"'' "'^' "^ '-' «°'"8 on to London and I was not to tell anybody nntil I heanl fr„"' '7 T'"- «»«■ «-d Ood was to n,e even hen when I was so forgetful of Hin.. He knew there ws WE ao TO LIVE IN LONDON. 73 ritaiil,. and Found Mrs. to moving I lier what VV^e are thinks it nnor that ' Hhe had im on so childr.'ii e house- vlien he of my Oxford brother, md five too. btained ards he jondon, 1 from 1 then re was more trouble ahead of me, and provided for my com- fort and help. An old school friend who had some time aj^o promised to pay me a visit wrote me at this time, saying she could come to me if convenient. I was more than pleased to welcome her, not only because in my loneliness she would be a comfort to me, but because she was so good and ti'ue. We weie con- firmed together, and it did me good to recall old times. We were b(jth very fond of Mr. Cameron, the clergyman, who had prepared us for confirmation. He was one of God's faithful few. I compared him with our pr«'sent rect«• I gained .tn ^ely tast. It seemed as though this attack well w r ^"'""'^ '"'•™^- I -- n-ly well when I heard from father; he had got a situa- me to fetch us, so thought we could manage to sell the furniture and pay the bilk tl,.. , . go to him. "'■" °"'"S "d What could I have done without Nellie ? ,She and I-.-e attended to everything, and when all ™ r ady we travelled together as far as O.xford. Z stayed one night at grandpas, then went on to n":t:p:rgtr"'"'^^^ We got into Paddington station, London, about ur o e k .n the afternoon. Father was to n,eet a the stafo,,; but when we got there we looked for h.n> m van,. 0„r luggage was there on the platfo™ WE GO TO LIVE IX LONDON. 76 in with us attack of not know )t send for >o, but for er, it vvas I gained lis attack liad kept IS nearly ' a situa- " he took e to sell ^ing and 5he and all was d. We on to irain to about leet us :ed for itlorru and we stood around it, myself a little over eighteen years of age, Lizzie not quite fourteen, Annie between ten and eleven, and the two little boys, Harry five and Jim three years old. Jim suddenly began to cry, and this seemed to start the others, for on look- ing around, I found them all crying, and feeling near it myself I could not at first speak. Presently a man camo up to us and began to question me. I told him where we had come from, and that I expected father to meet us, but he had not come. I also told him that I could not remember my aunt's address. I could just remember there was something like Goswell in it. He then fetched a cab driver who asked me " Was it Goswell Road ? " "Nj." "Was it Goswell street?" "No." " Was it Goswell terrace ? " " No." " Was it Goswell Mews 1" Then I recollected it was a corner house wdiich stood opposite Goswell Mews. The cabman said he knew the place. It was six miles and he would take us there. The luggage was quickly packed and soon we were driving along the busy streets of London. The man who had first spoken to us called me on one side and told me how much to pay the cabman, which was very kind of him, as I should certainly have been imposed upon but for that. 76 I 3 1 ' 1 I THE HEAD KEEPER. ill ^ $l\ We had not proceeded far on our rood when the <^^ver .topped and ea.e to the door of the »;:„; a,d to me, Have yon money to pay the fare or will the people at the other end pay it r I said T Z ■noney with me though not'vLy much. He t en ^d -much it would he, uamin, a larger 1 '"'" ' ''""^ '^'•' '»" '° m hi,„. I told him tha" was a great .leal, but if it wa, right of coulTe "•ould have it. This .seemed to satisfy him We soon got to the corner house. He went to .nq™-e for Mra Smart and was directed to h -Jence (for she had lately n.oved) which we reached ndmrr""'' °'""»'^™-yir>adasLiJ of th ,"■? ^"'-'^ly-ck with the motion ot the cars and cab. As soon as we got the children and luggage into e house, the man touched his hat for m!p" called to my aunt and said to her "Aunt I „. I accustomed to travelling. A man who t verT.rd eo us at the station told me to pay so much L ah (I forget now the exact sum) and this man aaka forsomuc Bo you know what it should bt' i do not, sa,d my aunt, ■ '.„t can get to know in to but' .."^'-l"^""'-^"'-'^ -hat the man told ye ^o, but it Id a known T would -n^ « i • foot o' the road." ^'''^ -o. a brougm ye a WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 77 when the le cab and we, or will said I had He then 'Ygov sum hini that 3ourse he went to 1 to her 3 reached as Lizzie i motion ige into pay. I am not ry kind for the tn asks Id be?' now in J, when old ye i- ya a I then paid liim the fare and g;ave him "one shilling extra for his trouble of finding the house and getting off the luggage. My aunt, who was my father's sister, soon had us a cup of tea ready, of which we were very glad. She was much surprised to see us. I found the letter telling my father what train to meet lying in his room, as he was employed in the city and did not go home every night. As soon as tea was over aunt and I had to go on another search, as she did not know my father's business address. We took the omnibus and found him without much trouble. He was greatly aston- ished and left bu.siness at once to go bc^ck with us. Then came a search for lodgings, and it was eleven o'clock at night before we got settled down and the children in bed. Father would not let me tell him anything in the way of news that night, but insisted on my going to bed and leaving all until morning, wiiich I did, and soon after lying down was fast asleep. I did not awake until late the next morning when we went over to my aunt's to breakfast. Thus ended our journey to the great city. The next morning my father, my aunt and I, set off to hnd apartments furnished, father saying he had not 78 I "THE HEAJD KEEPER. u.seie.ss to toke an empty house. We found a very nice smVo r.t gladrhlv "' " "'■" ^'■^ '"P"^- '^''*''« -»ed pt:^t::::r;:;r;r:. "■:''•-- the.. e„™ o..ta,„y off^ „„,k (he ha., to leave ho» «^-e„oe,oe.), then eo,et the eMM..e...ea„;;: One fine morning we all went together to n.arket av,ng temat the «ho„, „o„.. Z we ea„,o ™ ' (that 1.S the two little bovsV Annie . strong and did not go t« ,oh tl T T "' ^" ■™ce mothers death af, t, V "' "^ ""' ^^'^ utatli, as at that time she was vi,iti„„ aeou..and Stayed there until Just before ::tf? nlT"; ^^°"^^'^^""^ from nmrket,she and I em- ployed our time in teaching Annie and in . r and making for the fannlv S I '"'^'"^ fe Liie lainiiy. bometnnes we all w^r,*- to meet father on his return in f h "'^ itcurn in the evening. -thus things went on for abonf n-n .1 , ^ «-^outni2iu months, during ■^ -i.^ We go to live in LONDON. 79 it would be >n Goswell dished and 11 keeping er seemed 3 from his see the pie of the )ms every st to get ^ve home eady for market, le home, t at all lot gone visiting we left • I em- lending 1 went luri nig wliich time we had never been to ciiurch. (Reader, can you credit this ? I blush as I write it.) At break- fast on a Sunday morning father would say : " Now, children, we are going for a nice ride to-day," or " a nice walk," or " we will go for a trip on the water," and we went. At other times friends were invited to spend the Sunday with us. Dinner was provided, and after that a walk in the park, or to some of the tea gardens — the gentlemen taking their pipes or cigars, while the ladies and children regaled themselves on nuts, biscuits, etc.— then home and to bed. Thus our Sundays were spent ; and when you compare this with the story of my younger days, how will \ o\i reconcile the two ? For my father, I may say that sometime before we left Oxford he had taken offence at something that had happened and left off going to church altogether. But it is with shame 1 think of myself. When we went to B , it is true that we had a great time of sorrow and sickness. We were strangers in a strange place. The clergyman did not visit us, and my mother was taken away. All this, as ^= i hav<^. seen, had a hardening influence on me. 1 was for so long a time excessively weak, I had no energy, did not care for anything in particular, hardly ever read a book, and with shame I confess that my Bible lay unopened on the shelf. i:'i M 11 1 1 > i I Ilk I' 80 THE HEAD KEEPEU. 0"- .urmg that ti,„e the still, „„,„, ,,o,^ ,„,.„ ™« ". toelf heard ;,.,Kl I will tell you how. My ather-., e.nployer I hanlly ever spoke to, but » w,fe was one o, the sweetest creatures I 'ev From F h "'" "'" '""''"S "'"' '""^ ™ good n«n Feb™..y uuti, May, .she .li,, .,ot „™sa„ oppor- tunity ot in some way ministpnnrr f^ t • ... -^ '"""«i/eiin|y to our romfm-f -t.ng us each clay through all that ti,„e of tr Me Ii.e ever had no terrors for her. She was, indeed a *e ever rea the Bible to any of us, or ever spol. «l'g.on. f,he „,ay have done so K, my n>other I cannot .say. •' '"o""". •■ The first time I wa. able to walk out. it was on her a™, leaned. She took me to their own garden w .eh was an arbor. After I had rested on a pillow c„ t a, dw„e.3h-aKl... Now, lam going to leave you fo. a few nunutes, a. this is the H,.t time you have been out s.noe your illness, and God has „ive„ you the strength to come " could not but understand her meaning, and yet after '° 't "" ,' ^^' »«"■ I dW -.ot thank God, I only thought a iMe on the p„t, and said to my elf I will begin to .ke to, but fes I ever was good. } an oppor- i' comfort, »f trouble. , indeed, a that time spoke of nother, I 'as on her arden, in a pillow 'n of bis- to leave ime you as given i that I et after , I only 'self, " I t about For a long time that pleasant smile haunted me, and bade me thank God, but I could not, for in my heart of hearts I do not think I wanted to get strong and well. I rather wanted to die, for everything seemed to be going wrong with me. Then came the memorable visit dear Nellie paid me when she stayed a month and nursed me ::hrouirh the measles. Then, indeed, we talked of old times ; old meuiories were stirred. The Bible was looked into. New resolutions were formed, though not kept— why ? Because they were made in my own strength, and of necessity failed. The lively faith of my childhood was gone, or at least deadened. Then came the novelty of living in a large city, and not being allowed to go far from home during the week, I fell easily into temptation and, indeed, it soon ceased to be a temptation, for I got to enjoy it quite as much as the children did, and for the time church and child- hood were forgotten in pleasure trips and broken Sabbaths. Thus things went on until we had been about nine months in London, when my father frequently stayed out very late at night— sometimes later than others, and I became uneasy about it, and more so when I found that he was often short of money. Our land- lady told me that he was owing her for three months' 8:^ THE HEAD KEEPEK. rent, and I undertook to speak to him abont it, askincr how It was and -but I will not tell you all that passed-suffice it to say that for two or three weeks tlnn^^s got worse and worse. He had less money to do with each week, and still the rent was not paid I begged of him to let me look out for a small house • but he said he had not money to buv furniture. After some perseverance, however, I persuaded him that it would be better. The extra money the furnished rooms cost, I told hin^ would soon get a few thir^gs into the house. At last he said I could do as I liked- he was tired of managing, anyway. I could not at times understand liim, he acted so strangely. One day I went out to call on my aunt, telling her that I did not think we could afford to stay any longer in such expensive lodgings, but would have to get a small house. It so happened, the one next to her was to rent She went with me to see the owner, who said that I could go into it at any time. So that settled I went back to my landlady and told her. She said she was very sorry to part with me and the children, but of course, she wanted to rent her rooms to some one who could pay for them, I told her she .liould be paid, for 1 would get some sewing and pay her my- self, if mv father Hirl r,r.+ j_, ..... ....ry, 4 ■if WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 83 bout it, askinir you all that three weeks, less money to IS not paid. I small house; liture. After 1 him that it he furnished ^ few things io as I liked; could not at ely. t, telling her y any longer a,ve to get a was to rent. ) said that I btled I went iaid she was Iren, but, of some one siiould be ly her my- And now came a year of deep trouble and perplex- ity. When I told my father we had got a house, and asked him could he let me have as much money as would get a few chairs and a table and some bed- ding, he said he had none, I must borrow a few things from aunt until he could get them. I ven- tured to ask him if his employers owed him anything (for he had gone regularly to work, and yet for a long time he had seemed to have so little). He said, " No. All the money he had earned had been used." He seemed so put out when I spoke to him about it, that I was almost afraid to speak a second time. I told aunt what he said, and she told me, with a strange kind of smile, which I did not at all under- stand, that she was afraid there was trouble ahead. She lent me a bedstead and two mattresses, a chair and a table. Then we went down to a second-hand furniture store and bought a short school form, with a shilling I had saved for a long time. I could not bear the children to stand at the table to eat their meals, so I spent it for that. Fortunately I had kept bed and table linen and blankets, also knives and forks. Now with aunt's help I made up the bed on the bedstead for father and the two little boys, and one on the floor for myself and the two gis-ls. We cur- 84 f fl !i? ^^'1 ii } I- THE HEAD KEEPER. my tained the windows nicely with a muslin dress of own. I hung- a towel on the kitchen door, and stood a tin bowl (borrowed from my aunt) upon the floor. Then looking around for a few minutes I burst into tears. Oa I my dear reader, call me " cry baby " if you will, but I could not help it, for the thought that would come' uppermost in my mind was that there was something wrong, and I did not know what. My father, for anything I knew, was working and receiving the same salary as when we arrived in London, o^ut of which, he had said to my aunt and me, that he could wdl afford to pay the rent charged for our furnished rmu,a. Now he was greatly in debt, and he would not talk to me or tell me why it was so. However, I had not time to indulge long in the luxury of tears. It was near time for his return ; so getting one of my fine damask tablecloths, I spread it on the table, putting on our own knives, forks and spoons (all the rest borrowed). I placed the one chair for him, and myself sat on the form with the children. Thus we took our first meal in that little house. After tea was over, I said, "Now, father, won't you let me try to be housekeeper, and see how I can man- age. If you give me a certain sum of money every week, auntie says she will give me some sewing to 'I WE 00 TO LIVE IN LONDON. %6 n dress of my )0i', and stood 3on the floor. I burst into " if you will, t would come as something y father, for eceiving the ndon, out of hat he could ur fui iiished nd he would long in the s return ; so 5, 1 spread it I, forks and bhe one chair ;he children, little house, r, won't you I can man- loney every 3 sewing to do, and I shall have ho much time on my hands that I can do a great deal, and we shall soon be able to get some nice things in the house." After thinking some time, he said he n- t pay up the amounts he was owing, and the i , but he would be able to give me twenty shillings per week. So on Saturday I took the children to meet him and we went to market together. He gave me the money which I put into a little purse, which dear Nellie had given me on my fourteenth birthday. But to tell yoti all I bought, and how many times I had to get help from father would tire you, I am afraid. We got home at last, however, happier in spite of our poor abode than we had been for some tune, and I think we all slept soundly, even though our surround- ings were so different to those we had been accus- tomed to. The next day, Sunday, father, as usual began to talk of where we should go to spend the day. Some of the children wanted to drive, some to go on the water. I did not want to go anywhere. As I looked around our bare room, I felt ashamed to go out of such a place, dressed in such clothes as we then possessed, besides I could not divest myself of the thought that there was some shame attached to our poverty. I could see no need for it, nor could I IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) h A {./ ^ ^i^ y. sr Wi 11.25 IS 128 ISO "^^ III 2.5 2.2 14. 11.6 % %J> *^>^ > Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. MS 80 (716) 873-4503 4\^ iV <^ ^ ^ 86 THE HEAD KEEPER. II if. if understand it. I was over-ruled, however, and we went to Lambeth and back, taking our dinner there. On Monday morning, as soon as I had sent the children to school, I went to my aunt who, as you remember, lived next door to us, and asked her for the work she had promised to give me. It was a little dress to make for one of the children. After explaining how it was to be made, she bade me sit down, as she wished to talk to me a little. I sat down at her request, and she said to me : " Mary, I want to forget that you are little more than a child, and I must speak to you as though you were older; indeed, you must put away childhood's days and try to realize that you have a woman's duties to perform." She questioned me about our home in B and told me that my father had always been very ex- travagant, and but for my mother's patience and love would not have been able to raise his children as well as he had done. He was so fond of company that he could never without help live within his income. " I tell you," she continued, " because I know you will have to meet it, and I feel that you should be prepared." I thanked her very much, and asked her if she would help me with her advice at any time if I was WE GO TO LIVE IN LONDON. 87 ever, and we dinner there, Iiad sent the who, as you sked her for e. It was a Idren. After bade me sit, e. said to me: ^ Httle more though you '■ childhood's ■ a woman's 1 B- and en very ex- )atience and his children of company within his luse I know you should her if she cne if I was in difficulty. Slie promised to do so, and said, " I will begin by telling you one of your Uncle John's rules which he made when we were married, and always continues. It is this : Out of what he earns he puts a third by. So if he but earned one shilling he would put four-pence of it by for a rainy day, and I can tell you it has come in very useful, that rainy day bag, more than once. And some day, soon, I shall have the pleasure of introducing you to Miss Smart, your Uncle John's eldest sister, who adopted that rule when she was only nine years old, and she is quite wealthy now. I will tell you a little of her early history, I think it will interest you, and at all events will show what perseverance can accomplish. Her father was a game-keeper on a gentleman's estate, about three miles from C , and when she was six years old he married the second time. She was not fond of her stepmother, and on one occasion, after some words with her, she was told to leave and not show herself there again till bedJ-imc. She made a vow then and there that she would never sleep another night under that roof, and she never did. She was only nine years old, and walking to the next town, she went to the stores asking, "Please, do you want a girl," until the keeper of a green gro- cery store, who needed some one to look after the if >M I- :in to read my Bible every day, and try to do better. Dear reader, let me advise any one of you, who may ever be in the same perjjlexity of mind, not to wait for any time in the future, but at once, as soon as the desire is formed ; turn it into prayer just where you stand. When Siniday came, the children went to school and came home quite pleased. But, dear reader, I did not go to church, and why :" Because I was a coward. My aunt, and a young friend, who came in to sit awhile, prevented me, as I did not like to say I was going to church. So another Sunday passed away. I did, however, take my Bible that night and tried to r<'ad it. But, oh ! it was a changed book to me. I could see no beauty in it. I did not seem to understand it. I turned the leaves over and over: then closed it weariedly and sobbed myself to sleep. The next day (Monday) father went to business as usual, but came l>ack in the afternoon about three o'clock, looking cross and put out, but not telling me why. He was very restless, and seemed to be in deep thought about something. He went to bed early, and the next morning did not get up at the usual hour, and refused his breakfast. I I! 98 THE HEAD KEEPEU. By the time the children were away to school, he came down stairs. I asked him why he did not want any breakfast, and he said, " Because I have lost my situation, and shall have to do with less." He was despondent all day ; but the next morning he got up, saying he must go to seek employment somewhere. " I suppose, with care, you can make your week's money last you two weeks, can't you ?" he said. I told him I would try. I was very glad then that I had taken my aunt's advice as to saving part of my income, for from this time, though my father sought early and late, he got no employment. I can- not tell why ; I only know that he got none. Still, he was out night after night, though not so late as before. In time, my savings Vi^ere all used up, and I still did what I could get to do in sewing, but I could not do enough to keep us, and gradually one by one my few little treasures of jewelry, and our best clothing, and, at last, anything that would fetch a shilling was pawned. To this day, I shiver when I think of it, or even hear mention of a pawn shop. I never went myself to pawn one article. Father did that, or got some one else to do it. I do not know which : I only know he would take the things away and bring back "MARY, 1 AM GOING TO BE MARRIED. 99 the money. A woman lived near by, who went out cleaning and washing. I think he got her to take them, as he always brought me a little less money than the ticket called for. I once called his attention to this, and he said, " Take what you get, and don't ask questions." I knew he was feeling miserable, so I said no more. At last, we were very poor ; we had scarcely any- thing left to wear. "L winter had passed away, and spring was just commencing, when he came in one day, saying he had got some copying to do, and went off in good spirits. He worked steadily for a few weeks ; came home early, and things were getting better in every way. One evening, about two months later, he said to me, " Mary, I am going to be married." I was so surprised that I dropped the cup I was wiping and broke it. " Married ! " I said. " To whom ? " He laughed ,and said, " You seem surprised. I think," he continued, " this work I have got now will be permanent. I make good wages at it. I have proposed, and have been accepted." " Well ; but," 1 said, " Where are you going to take a wife to ? 8he must be a funny person if she would come to this miserable place and call it home. What sort of a home has she now ? " m 100 THE HEAD KEEPER. " Well," he said, " on Thursday I have promised to take her to the Crystal Palace, and I promised to take you to see her and go with us. You will like to see the Crystal Palace, won't you ? Don't you remember how you wanted to go when I took Julia ?" " Yes," I said, " I remember perfectly, but every- thing was so different then. Manuna was alive and we had our home. Now we have neithei'." " Never mind thinking of the past," he said, "if I marry this lady you may have both again, for she, or rather her father, has plenty of money.'' After a short silence he said, " You will like to go with us, won't you ? ' I said, " I would like to go, but I could not see my way. I have nothing to wear. You know we have not been able to redeem anything except yoiir own clothes. " Could you not get a dress from your aunt ? he said. " She is not much bigger than you." " Oh, father," I said, " go out in borrowed clothes. How can I ? How is it that you are so different from what you used to be ? " I am not different," he said, " but circumstances alter cases, and I am so excited, and so anxious, that you should se^ this lady that I am going to see your aunt at once." "MARY, I AM GOING TO BE MARRIED." 101 Hi With that he went out, returning iu a t'e^\' niinutea witli my aunt, to wliom he said, " I say, Polly, I want to take Mary to the Crystal Palace on Thursday, and she says she has nothing to « wear. Can you help us out of this dilemma ? " I begged of him not to insist on it, but he was (juite determined, and when I saw that he was getting angry I gave way, and on that memorable Thursday we went first to the house of his lady, which was large and beautifully furnished ; then to the Palace with her. She was (juite young. Not more than twenty years, I think, and nicely dressed. When father introduced us to each other, she came forward at once and, kissing me, said, " I am glad to see you ; I hope we shall be friends." It was a lovely day, and there is so much to see and enjoy at the palace (as I think every one will say who has been there) that I could not help enjoy- ing myself. I do not remember much of the conversation which took place, but I think I remember getting the impression that she was fond of and used to pleasure. 8he spoke of things which gave me to understand that .she and father had met at evening parties, and that they had been to the theatre together more 1- il jm n ml I i! i \ r! (! .f 102 THE HEAD KEEPER. than once. Thus the want of money at home was in part accounted for. She spoke of dancing parties and picnics she had been to and was expecting to go to. I remember father saying he was too busy just then to go anywhere, that he could hardly spare time that day, he had taken it really against his employer's will. I remember feeling a kind of chill when he said this — a sort of presentiment of evil. When th^ dancing commenced she said she would like to dance. Father said, " I do not dance myself, but I like to watch it. You and Mary take a turn." They were about to dance a schottische. I told her it was a long time since I danced, that I would rather not, but she seemed to wish it, so I yielded. When the dance was over we went to sit down, and father having left us for a few minutes I could not help asking her why she thought of marrying a man with a family. , She said she had never thought much about the family, for she did not know there was one until a week ago. I said, " How long have you known my father ? " " For more than a year," she replied ; " but we have only been engaged for about a week, when he told me of his family." "MAKV, I AM GOING TO HE MARUIED." lO-'i "And were you not afraid to undertake it?" I said, " Oil, no ; not at all," she replied. " For as you have brought them up so long I would not wish to interfere with your management of them, and I told your father so." " Did you know that we had been very poor for some time," I asked her, " and that we have a very small house and very little furniture in it ? " She looked surprised and said, " No, I did not know much about anything." I told her I hoped she would not misunderstand me. " If you do marry my father," I said, " 1 shall give you all the respect due to yon, and the children will do the same, I am sure. But when I look at your beautiful home and "compare it with ours, unless you have furniture of your own I know you will not be content. We had a lovely home once. Every- thing heart could wish for, but we have no home now fit for my father to bring you to as a bride. If he keeps the situation he has now he soon will be able to make it comfortable, but it would take years to make it anything like your own home. So now, having told you this you will know what to expect. Should you decide to throw in your lot amongst us I will give you a hearty welcome, for I like you. But a nice home, neither I nor my father can give you." 1^ m 104 THE HEAD KEEPEJl. i M She (lid not iin.swcr for a luirmte, then she bent forward and kissed mo, saying, "Thank you; if I had wealth I certainly would marry your father and come to you ; but as I have not, but have, as you say, got a good home, I will not now at any rate add to your household expenses. You are a brave girl, and I shall not betray your confidence." And she did not, though the engagement was broken off and I never saw lior aiiain. My father, however, lost his situation through taking that day's holiday. When he went to business on Friday they had another in his place, and then began again the struggle for daily food. Six mouths to feed and only one pair of hands to work. And yet I should hardly say that ; for both Lizzie and Annie helped with what they could. But you know, dear reader, we had no business learnt. What we did we had to learn as we went along, and at that time work was very badly paid for, even the best of it. ■I M^*£^-^r^^,^^->^v- CHAPTER VI. POVERTY. " The poor ye have always with you, and whensoever ye will yo may do them good." — Matt. xiv. 7. " It is a still, snuill, holy voice, The voice of God Most High ; It whispers always in the heart, And says that He is by." One day Lizzie, who did not like sewing, said to me, " I wonder it' I could get a place, and earn some money ?" . I felt my face burn as she said this, but I did not answer. For, dear reader, God had been gradually drawing me back to Himself, and though at the time I did not realize it ; yet now, looking back, I see it. At first I rebelled against the thought of service for them ; but presently Annie said, " Yes, Mary, let I' .!i4 ;.-:i 10(5 THE HEAD KEEPER. ll > .' I MS both try to got a place, then you will only have Harry and Jim to manage. We shall be able to give you part of our money, too." " How are you going to get a place ?" I asked ; " we don't know anyone." For, strange as it may appear, in the three years we had been in London we knew very few people. The friends who had visited us in our furnished lodgings had either lost sight of us, or we of them, I don't know which, for I never liked them. Lizzie suggested that we should ask Miss Mansfield, when she came around with the " tracts," if she knew of a situation suitable. We had never thus far breathed our poverty, but we had nothing now left upon which we could get one shilling, so I told her she might if she wished. "And may I, too?" said Annie. "You can," I said, and then I went to my room and, throwing myself on the bed, I gave way to my grief. Shortly after this a Scotch lady came to our house. She had heard from Miss Mansfield about Lizzie, and came to say she would try her. Oh ! what a friend she was indeed— one of God's faithful few. Soon, under her influence, the dark shadows seemed to separate and show a brighter HI POVERTY, 107 li^lit beyoiifl. Instead of constantly thinking of my troubles, 1 began to try to overcome them. Somehow, I had got into the way of thinking that, having neglected God so much, I had made Him too angry with me ever to feel the .same towards me again. I do not know where I got the impression, or how ; but I could only realize that God was a Spirit — something grand and noble — seated in heaven to hear our prayers and to pass judgment on them. I could not have put it into words then such as these, but I remember that it was in this way I used to think of God ; and my thoughts of Jesus, our blessed Saviour, were never as I had been able to think of Him in my childhood, but only as the Son of God, the Saviour of the world generally. I had once been made to learn a text of Scripture : " Thou God seest me," after I had done wrong, I forget just now what I had done, but the text I remembered, and many a time it came back to me as I sat at my work, and troubled me. I thought of Him as seeing me when, in my vexa- tion because Mr. Wilson, the clergyman in B , did not come to visit us as I thought he ought, I went to some other church, or, as was often the case, stayed at home. I thought of Him as seeing me when I constantly broke his Sabbaths — week after week I t '1 f'.T L — ^ l!8 108 THE HEAD KEEPER. taking iny pleasure on His most holy day, juul not calling the Sabbath a delight, " the holy of the Lord, honorable." I thought of Him as seeing me and knowing my thoughts, when I had sat by the hour wondering why I had to suffer so much ; why my mother had been taken away just when I wanted her most ; why my father had become so cross and sullen with us all ; why he could not get work as well as other people : and why I, who had never been used to it, should have to work so hard and yet remain so poor — and when I thought of Him as seeing all this, I felt sure He must be angry. One day, as I sat pondering on this text, Lizzie's mistre.s8 came in, and soon she had drawn me out, insomuch that T told her all my thoughts about it. She asked u\e if I had read the history from whence the text was taken. I said, " No ; I did not know just where to find it." She told me to take my Bible and read it. She had not time to stay then, but she would like me to remember that when the words were used they were not used in the way I thought of them at all ; but a poor woman, she said, was in trouble, and, of course, not liking trouble, she fled from it and from those who troubled her, and when she sat down to think the Angel of the Lord found her. He told her to go POVERTY. 109 buck to lier trouble and to the one who troubled her. He then ninde her a graciouH promise, and she, know- ing that she had not been seeking the Lord at the time He found and came to her, called the name of the Lord who spake to her, " Thou God seest me." " And now, dear girl," she said, " I must go. You will find the history of this woman in the sixteenth chapter of Genesis, from the ninth to the thirteenth verses ; and when you have read it you will think of a verse I will quote for you : 'I am found of them who sought not after me.' " I caught her meaning at once ; and this is only one of many such like conversations, for which, dear reader, now I from my heart thank God. The day after the foregoing conversation Lizzie came down in the afternoon to bring me some work from her mistress, and full well did I know that it was work that she did not need done, but which from the kindness of her heart she had hunted up for me. She also sent word to say that Annie could go to see her the next morning, which she did, and Mrs. Martin (as we will call the lady) took her to see her niece, Mrs. La Croix, who w^as in need of a trustworthy young girl to look after her baby. Mrs. La Croix thought her too young, but after a little while agreed to take her. Annie made a long stay with her, and f'i 110 THE HEAD KEEPEH. i > ! h \i S i- i' i i was very happy. So the two ^'irla were for a time well provided for. I must tell you what was to me, soon after this, the most bitter trial I had yet had in all my poverty. One morning my two little brothers were crying for bread, and I could not give them a bit. I had some work on hand, for which I expected to be paid as soon as it was finished. Needing the money so badly, I sat up all night to complete it. About half-past eight in the morning I took it home, and to my dismay found that the lady had gone away the day before, and was not expected home until the next day. Picture, if you can, my distress : I had neither food nor money in the house, nor had I anything whereon to raise a peimy. When I got home, the first sound I heard was Jim crying out for his breakfast. As soon as he saw me he called out, " Where have you been, Sissy ? There's no bread in the cupboard, and we want our break- fast." Then Harry chimed in, " And it's near school time you know, Sis." I sat down ana burst into tears. Dear reader, I cannot describe uiy feelings to you. I could just see my mother, as she lay on her bed, looking at me. I could hear her words ringing in my ears, " 1 am dying ; take care of my dear boys," — and KjvertV. Ill / 1" liere they were cryin;r for bread ! I alinoHt cried aloud in my an<,niiHli : "Motlicr! mother! Iliavedone my best. What more can I do ?" Just then father came downstairs. " What are the children crying for, Mary ?" lie said. " Oh, father, they want their breakfast, and I have none to give them !" I sobbed. Then dear little Jim threw his arms around my neck, saying, " Si.s.sy, don't cry ; I'll do without. T didn't wuint you to cry " ; and poor Harry stood look- ing on. I had never seen my father so moved before. He sat down, put his hand over his face, but said never a word. I had on a grey skirt with a blouse waist— my only dress. I took the skirt off, and handing it to father, I said, " Just get what will buy us some bread." He took it without a word and in a few minutes returned, and the children got their breakfast and went to school. In the afternoon a boy came to the door to tell me to go at once around to Mrs. Martin, as she wished to see me. I was just finishing some work for her, so took it with me. And now, dear reader, try to imagine, if you can, what my feelings were, to have to go out without a dress. I had a nice black skirt on, it is true, but it was siiort. I threw a long cloak over it, Ml f S '! 112 TMK UKAD KKKPKIl. however (tlioutrli it was a warm tlay), and away I went. VVlieii I ^rot to MrH. Martin'n house, I found .she had Home work for me from a hidy friend. It was wanted in a luirry, so much so that slie said she would not hi me stay, as I sometimes did, to have tea with Lizzie; for by takin«jf it ri^dit nome I should ^et so much of it done in the meantime. I thanked her and was about to <>o, when she looked straight into my face, and putting her hand on my shoulder, she said to me, " Child, you are in trouble ! What is it ^ Am I not your friend ?" Then, dear reader, the flood-gates were opened, and I cried as if my heart would break. I told her all my disappointment about the money ; my trial at hearing the children cry for bread, and the giving up of my dross. " And you would have gone away without telling mo ? " she said. " Oh, Mary, never do this again ! We are placed in this world to help one another, and if God had no poor children, how could the rich help them ? " With this she put me down in the easy chair near by and went to the kitchen, soon coming up again with a plate on which w^as a sandwich— not a little one, dear reader, but a genuine sandwich of beef and bread well buttered ? jNTeed I tell you how L'ood that POVKKTV. 113 vvus ^ If you l.avv over boon I.un^ny, I do not tl.ink I "00.1. Afto..Il.a,|outonit,,Hho.s,i,l,"Now,Iwill pay you tho prico of the work you took l.o.no thin •"<»•".n^^ und wl.on you ^^ot tho n.onoy f.-on. tho huly »-.solfyoucan roturn it to n.o." And .she did ho as well as paying n.o for tho work I then took to' Jier. Wl)cn I got l.on,e, father fetched n.y dress, an.l wo were able to got supper, of which ho stood very nuu-h m need, and never again were we reduced to such a clegroe, as shortly after this n.y father, through Mrs Mart„,'s influence, got a situation ; the girls wore c o.ng well, and I ha realize veather ppoint- city to- make f room. , " You 3S, will you be long ?" She smiled, saying, "It does not take me very long to get ready for going out, does it dear? But I want to show you something first." She then went to her dressing table, and turning over the leaves of her large Bible, which always lay open upon it, she told me to read a passage to which she pointed with her finger. Reader, you will find tlie verse she pointed to in the 1st Epistle of St. John, iii. 17. Will you turn to it and read it ? You will not wonder then at my exclaiming, « Dear Miss Hatch, you are not going to the city to-day, you have spent your money." Her face lighted up with one of those bright smiles, and kissing me she said, " No. dear, I am not going to the city to-day, but if you will go with me I think you will enjoy your afternoon just as much as if I did." " How about the dress, then ? " I asked. " We will talk about that after," she replied. As soon as Miss Hatch wa^ ready, we went to- gether down the road until we came to a shady lane, when turning into it we soon saw an old shed, or as we should call it in Canada, a shanty. Two or three children sat around the door looking pale and sickly. A man stood just inside who, as soon as he saw us, came forward. i • 4 iP 142 THE HEAD KEEPER. "How is your wife to-day ?" said Miss Hatch. " I think she's on the mend, mam," said he, " thanks to you." We went in, and there on a comfortable straw mat- tress, cidan and tidy, lay a woman— oh ! so thin and ill. Her eyes, however, lighted up with evident pleasure when she saw her visitor. Miss Hatch went up to her and taking her feeble hand pressed it gently, saying, " I am so glad you are better. The doctor called and told me he thought you would soon be able to be moved, and, just as soon as he gives per- mission, I have made arrangements for you to go to the house of a good woman who will take care of you and nurse you back to life and health, I trust, if it be God's will." " Then," said the poor creature in an eager tone, " you will let me finish my story, will you not ? " " Certainly I will, if you wish. And if I can help you in any way, I am sure I will do so," said Miss Hatch. The poor woman thanked her, then closed her eyes wearily and lay back perfectly still. Her husband came forward and gave her a dose of medicine and a few spoonfuls of beef tea out of a cup I at once recog- nized as belonging to Miss Hatch. "H.«.s the clergyman been to see her yet?" she asked. SOMETHmo AteOUT HAYMAKERS. 143 " No," said the man with a kind of grunt. " I ex- pect he's too fine to come to the likes of us." " Hush," said Miss Hatch, " do not say that ; he has a great deal to do just now, for there are many peo- ple ill at the present time." She then took a little pocket Bible, and standing close to the bedside she read from the parable of the prodigal son, beginning at "I will arise and go to my Father " and ending with " put a ring on his hand an.! .;,.>es on his feet." She then knelt down and pi«y :<: u^ith her. I saw the tears streaming down the woman's cheeks, and yet I wondered at such a choice of Scripture for a very sick person. But I ceased to wonder when I knew more of her history. After prayer we left, Miss Hatch telling the man she would send some one to help him through the night. I thought he seemed surly, yet he thanked her and answered her questions civilly as to the needs of the family in general. When we got outside she turned to me and said, " Now, dear, could I spend money on a new dress for myself and know that these people were in such sore need?" I said, "No, indeed, you could not, for your heart is too kind to let you." i] 144 THE HEAD KEEPER. " My dear girl, it is not a matter of a kind heart " she said. " but a plain duty. I will, however, tell you all about it. " When we came home from Bible class on Monday evenmg, do you remember seeing a man looking like a hay-maker on in front of us a piece ? " " Yes," I said, " he turned down a lane just before we got to Mrs. Perry's house." "That's the man I mean; he overtook me after I left you at your own door," said Miss Hatch. " I was for a moment a little startled when I heard a heavy footstep behind me, but turning round I stepped side- ways to let him pass. He looked as though he wished to speak, but did not like to. I said, ' Can I do anything for you, my friend ? Are you in trouble or need ?' And I was astonished to see the rough man put his hand over his face and burst into tears. Then, seeming ashamed, he said quite gruffly, 'Oh! I be a fool, but I ain't tasted food to-day, and my wife's bad. She's quite out of her head, and what to do I dunno.' "'Well,' said I, 'come in, I am just at home and will see what can be done for you.' "So, first of all," continued Miss Hatch, "making him eat a piece of bread and meat, I by questioning found that his wife was very ill and two of his ind heart/' 3r, tell you >n Monday oking like ust before !ie after I . "I was 1 a heavy aped side- hough he ' Can I do Touble or )ugh man -a. Then, ^ ! I be a ife's bad. I dunno.' ome and 'making sstioningf ) of his SOMETHIXG AHOUT HAYMAKERS. I45 to wl ,cl, wo h.vo ,i„»t beon. I ,„aj„ ,„^ brother ac.ua,,,te., with the facte of «,o ca,„ a/b,.io% a r:"'"' """^ "'' ''"==J«' '* -™M be l.ett.u. to . t a *>ctor to go and see ho.-. M.„,y then wont ac.-L to fc^Gnst a„d .sent her „o„ Wihie a» fa.t a» he could go to he docto, tolling him where to go to. Margy and I then w-ent with the „„■„. fvking with m ^L vnoandnnlk. A» we were going out, Ma-g, caile .ny at tendon to the ™an, .aying .he thought he wanted to ., peak about «hi„g. I „,kod hin, i there was anything wanted we could f >ke with „, if so not to b. afraid to speak. IW fellow, 'he looked so sheepish when he said, 'Oh! missus, be ashamed of this night's work h„t ■„„ , hungry.' ^ ^"""S °""=^ >» ■• I had forgotton the chiWren entirely," Miss Hatch for the t,mo be,„g, a«d then we started, getting there a few mmutes before Doctor Seymour "You thought it a dreadful looking pUce to-day, did you not, dear ?" •'^' I told her I did. "But you would have thought it much worse had if J h m I h I'*. \i I , 146 you seen never THE HEAD KEEPER. it th en," said slie. pray God I may see such a sight again. But I will tell you just how I found them. " The least of the little girls, with fair, curly hair, who sat on the stone outside the door to-day, was sit- ting in one corner propped against the wall asleep, and down her dirty little c' eeks were the marks of recent tears. The eldest ^irl sat up near the fireplace with the wall for a support for her ])ack, and the mother was lying on the floor with her head on her daughter's lap, the middle girl also lying down with her head across the mother. Each of these three were flushed and feverish looking, while the mother kept mutter- ing and asking for a drink. Dr. Seymour said she was very ill, and to lie on that floor all night was certain death. " However, not to tire you, dear, we sent Willie Grist (for he had come round with the doctor) to Andrews, the carter, to tell him to take .'3 cart around to our house and get the mattress, bedding, chairs, etc. " Mrs. Grist went then to sit up with and to attend to them. And by the time Willie had fetched the medicine, and all things had been arranged, it was past midnight ; but I am glad to say that the two little girls are better, and as you see, the woman is in a fair way to recover." 3(1 I may 1 tell you urly hair, 7, wa8 sit- Lsleep, and of recent »lace with e mother aughter's her head •e flushed t mutter- said she ight was It Willie )ctor) to '3 cai't bedding, ;o attend ;hed the , it was the two lan is in SOMETHINO ABOUT HAVMAKEBS. !« Th„., ending ti.e narrative with a bright smile, Ae s<"d, bo you see, dear, when I have paid the doctor he nurses, the carter, etc, I shall not have much let for my dres. ; but," she continued, "I am glad I « ail be able to hear a voice say to „.e some day In^much as ye have done it unto one of these, my brethren, ye have done unto me "' My thought., a.s I sat at tea that afternoon, went back tothe ti,„e when in my need and troubi; Mrs Martm had come to me, and had been such a faithful fr-end. The" I thought of Mrs. Orimbly, our friend ■n B— and b^k, back my thoughts went to my ob.Mhood. Taking my g^ndma as she knelt in pmyer with and for me at one time, and dear old Mr. Clark m the arbor as he knelt to ask forgiveness for my s,„, and to Mr. Stokes, who went to my mother to tell of a fault lest it should go uncorrected and become greater thereby. And I felt that there wa., and always had teen, a kind care over me, a watchful providence, and I knelt down and thanked God askmg Him to give me something to do that I n..ght prove my love to Him. And He has been pleased many times to permit me to work for Him in various ways since that. Yet, I look back t»-day to see many oppor- tunities pa.ssed by, many temptations given way to, liS J iS l! 148 THE HEAD KEEPEll. and much work close at home neglected for that which was further off We are so prone to forget that God gives us our work to do just where we are. He does not expect us to leave little duties to seek out larger ones, and if we think it would be easier to do our duty in some other place we are surely mis- taken. We can do it not at all without God's aid, and He can give us that aid when and where we ask it. On Saturday Dr. Seymour gave permission for the sick woman to be removed, and a carriage was pro- vided in which she was conveyed to Mrs. Fletcher's house to be taken care of until she was better. The man, by this time, was working. The middle girl was staying with Miss Hatch, the eldest had gone to Mrs. Seymour, the young one, a nice little thing, was with Mrs. Andrews, the carter's wife. The people's sympathies were ail aroused, and kind- ness was showered on the family, and I may here say I do not think it was misplaced. I was a little puzzled as to why Mr. Hatch did not go to see them, until I found that as soon as Mrs. Hunter was conscious she had asked Mrs. Grist if she thought the clergyman would come to see her. Mrs. Orist told her that she supposed he would, but as she did not go to church she could not say for sure. SOMETHINQ ABOUT HAYMAKERS. 149 The next day she told Miss Hatch what the woman had said. She at once went to him, tellin^r hi„, of the woman's illness and her request. After some little delay he went to see her. and continued to visit her at intervals. I never happened to meet him, though I was frequently with her. I do not at this time even remember his name. I do. however, remember that 1 had a certain prejudice against him. In conversation with the tract distributor one mornmg, on being asked why I did not attend church I said, " The church people were so cold and stiff, and I expected they would be all Ron.an Catholics soon II they went on." " ^ ^^^^^ not," she said, smiling. Then of the forms of prayer I said, " How can any one pray out of their heart from a book ? I think they should just ask God for what they want." Many * more of these arrogant speeches I made, for which I am heartily ashamed. I x„ust have been greatly puffed up with pride to have permitted myself to have made such rude remarks. I particularly remem- ber her saying to me, on one occasion, how dear to her the thought was, that on both sides of the Atlantic the same prayers were being offered each Sunday so that friends who were separated could pray ft.r ea^h Other and chant Gods praises with holy worship ivom J Kit *.■ ■ 150 THE HEAD KEEPEU. the same glorious liturgy. The remembrance of her word« are precious to me because I could not forget then,, and like a lever, they kept turning me again and again to the rjuestion, " Are you in your riirht place 1" •^ h r CHAPTER IX. MBS. HUNTERS STORY. "Inasn.uch as ye did it unto one of these, n.y discii.les. ye didituntome."-Ma ;. XXV. 40. " But none of the ransomed ever knew How deep were the waters crossed ; Nor how dark was the night that the Lord passed through, Ere lie found his sheep that was lost ; Out in the desert he heard it cry, Sick and helpless, and ready to die." Mks. Hunter was a very superior woman, and it appeared that she had married so much a^minst her parents' wishes that they \vm\ turned their backs upon her entirely. During her married life she and her husband had not got on well. He had been a great deal out of work the first year or two, and as a clima.x to all he w i 152 THE HEAD KEKPEH. Im<] Im.keii his arm. Dnrin;^ the tiiu.' 1 ho.spitaI their hiny dt';,q'eeH to live on. olarty of hay- makers, trusting, that they could earn a little at that 'But here, a^iin," she continued, "the wet weather "'et us." For two or three days the children had broken food .iven to them, and so were provided for but then came this illness, and when she thought she' was doing to die, she told us she could not think of an^^lung but God's anger towards her. She had dis obeyed her parents, and God had seemed to have for- gotten her. or only to have remembered her to punish- A great deal of this story she had told to Miss Hatch at the first; also that she was a member of the church, and so were her parents, but her husband was nothing, and this had been her parents' great objec- .on to him. Thus it can.e about that the lesson of the " Prodigal Son " had been chosen. The clergyman, at Miss Hatch's request, wrote to her parents, telling them of her condition, and what VHs in tli(! liture Tor luul been ve on. «)i), Hhift- no thinir, f liospital i broken ■ of hiiy- ! at that, weatlier Iren bad ided for, iglit she think of liad (lis- ave for- punish.- to Miss r of tlie nd was b objec- Mson of fote to I what Mils. Ill NTEItVs STOKV. he con«ideivd was their duty und. A b'tti tl •' nniv, was enclo.sed fro.n Miss Hatcl 15S the eircuiii.Htancc'H. lese few word baek t(j your heart, will did wroii^r in di^obe' She has 1 You will tak 1 with just H'en extreii elv ijl, 8 while we thou^dit s.'c l.ad Hi c your dau;,diter y'•, but she is very sorry. lear death that for a eavenly Father h ~ issed away; btit our not thank Hi asrtr ,j iif.1. „p„^„^i„ Will you ni, and forgive your crrniw ehild f Alter „o,„„ little delay, a„ ,.„„we,- eame fro,,, tl,o c -ra^,^, of the p,„.i»|,, «,.yi„g u„.t j,,^. ,„,j^,_. Mr,,. H„„ter !,„,! been given to l,i,„ to re„,l „nd ..™we,-. He was »or,y to ,,ay that her father was -lead and at the present ti,„e her n,other and only brother were ill of typhoid fever. He said he did nol know M,H Hnnter personally, only havin,, been reetor ot that parish ahont three yea,s, bnt that sinee her athers death, her mother had U,ld hi,n all about the danjfhters marriage, and was fre.,„ently «ishinj; she knew whe,.e to Hnd her. Ho alsothonght the brother who was ,,uite yonng, wa» kindly disposed towards her. and that if .M,. Hnnter was strong enough, it would, he thought, be advisable for the fan.ily to co,ne down at once. He had aceordingly sent .noney for that purpose, ,« he knew the n.other would Z tund ,t to hin, ,^, soon as she knew what he had : ',) «l 154 THE HEAJ) KEEFEIt. done. In the meanti.ne, as soon as they becan.e con- scious, he would break th e news to them. Miss Hatch was the one cliosen to br Mrs. Hunter the sad tidings of her father's death •eak gently to ... „ " —vir's death, and the Illness of mother and brother, and the poor thin, was most anxious to get to then. So just as soon as the doctor would let her. they started away ^ wish I could remember the name of the place in wluch she lived, but I do not. It is a longtime since, and. of course. I never thoufeht at that time I should 3ome day be writing a book. I do remember, how- ever, that It was a long journey, and that their friend and clergyman had sent only money enough to de- fray the travelling expenses, never supposing that they were destitute of commonly decent clothing But who could say there is no charity or love in the world, if they would only look around them ? The people of Highgate seemed but too anxious to come forward in this case and do what they could Right well they clothed those little ones, and the mother and father, too. A very respectable looking family they were when they left. The mother, full of gratitude, and father very silent; but at the last when he shoo^ hands, he said. "Good-bye. Miss Hatch' In all the world I never knowed any body as kind as you be. and if ever I do begin to go to church and be MRS. hunter's story. 155 ecanie con- gently to death, and )oor tliinof st as soon way. e place in iine since, ! I should ber, how- Bir friend ?h to de- ling that clothing, ^e in the ixious to y could, and the looking her, full bhe last, i Hatch, kind as and be religious, it'll be alon fifo think I shall give it a trial "Good-bye, my friend," she said, give it a trial. Ask God to show- heart, and then to show you, and somehow I kind o' ' I trust you will you your own d he will do , ,, you Himself, it." And then they were gone. For aeveral week, we heard nothing f,,„, then, ; at the end of that time, however, came a 1 ter to Mis, Hatch, thanfng her again and again. The brother had d,ed, and one of her Httle girb took the fever as soon as she got home, and died. Bnt the mother was better and they were all hving at the homestead. She begged for the doctor's bill to be sent to her, and she paid it. Some time after, she sent Miss Hatch a drawing of then, house which was a very pretty one, and that wa the last I ever heard of them. I do not know It the Highgate people heard from them after I left or not. At another time, during my stay at Highgate. this dear fnend s Christian love was shown to one of our Sunday School teachers, by doing her a great service fehe was a young girl, about seventeen years old whose mother died when she was only twelve, and her father, a man who was very irreligious, and who frecjuently took a week at a time to drink and be otf ■11 156 THE HEAD KEEPER. t! : mn work, d,d not ™prly the house a. it should have been. .She took in a little sewing to help snpply them „th clothe.,. She was ,„aJe a member of the chapel at the »n,o time I was. and wa, very regular at tlie services. In some way Miss Hatch learned that she was in debt, and took means to find out how much she owed I hmk ,t was about five pounds all together (I may tell you one of the rules of the society forbids debl of any kind). So, after speaking to her about it, and findmg that she was striving to get it paid by work- -g very hard, she called the lady teachers together and asked how much we each could give towards helpmg her out of her difficulty. We each gave what we could, and thus made up two pounds, fifteen shil- I-^a Mr. Hatch added ten shillings to that, and before the next Sunday her debts were paid. She told me that she got a letter, and she thought it was Miss Hatchs writing, sending her five pounds from her fellow-teachers, with their Christian love At another time, she took me to see an invalid who lived at Islington, and had been in bed for five years with .ome disease in her thigh, which was much larger than my body. She had always to lie in one position until placed in another, always dependent on some one to move her. She lived in what is called a 'lould have elp supply ber of the ly regular ihe was in she owed, er (I may ■bids debt >ut it, and by work- I together ! towards ave what fceen shil- ihat, and id. She it it was ds from ilid who ■'e years s much B in one dent on called a Mie. hunter's stoby. 157 tenement house, so that if she needed anything pa,- kept beside her, and some one would come to her tenXltfLt:"'-^"" " "-— "— we noffp r '""■'°" '" *■■" '=™'1'«°''. '""y we not ? But no ; here again was one of God's dear onea Faith and hope was strong here, and ie o. she bore M.SS Hatch was very evident. We sat an toroTr:""''™™"'^''-''"— "'"^"'^^ old of the kmuness of this or that friend, and of the good.„ssof her Heavenl.Fatherin supplying,, dady need, and was quite pleased at having been lb to send some food to a poor family who li^d in the underground kitchen of the same house Once, as X sat knitting (for she had a stockin, h^unwh.ch was beside her and I took it to knit: wh,ch I wore on my 6„ger. When I looked up a! her. she smiled and said to me. " A text of Script wasii.tt,ng through my mi„d as I looked at y™ r.ng.someth„,g about being sealed unto the day of redempfon 'Tis a glorious thing to b. able to '4 Christ IS mine and I am His'" Miss Hatch told me that she had no settled income The rent was paid for her by a cousin, the only ^-tion sne had. and she was supported entirely by mI 1 I; ii| ^!, /UH f I M' 158 THE HEAD KEEPER. friends. Yet she had heard known what it tak er say she Iiad never , J^' *° "^^''^ ^^^ >inythurg. Thus God es ..are ot His phn.li-.m wi Imnm, M, "'"."""'''""• -^l"" Was most certainly l>appy, hough at times she suffered terrible aKony ^ X coud tell mueh more ot this dear friend ;L coe she walked with God; h„„ she loved His d,,ld.„ and how she fed on His word, which J -deed -. "amp nnto her feet and a light unto her I had occasion to go to her rather early one mom- her rom Th r ""' '°™ '"""■ - -»' ^ her r u . ' '"' '" ■"" "'"■ "^ ^hawl a«,und her shoulders and her large Bible on her knee. The tears were st™™i„g down her cheeks; she at the r:a:r.::"t:r,^r-r"'^'-^- 'ley are te .,, of joy. dear. Sit down bes.de me and look at these precious words. Thev are yours as well as mine." She waa reading and rejoicing over the one hun- dred and third psalm. "Look at these beautiful verses she said. '■ Who forgiveth all thine inioui- t.es; who healeth all thy diseases. As far as the astis from the west, so far hath he removed ou ransgressions from us." And he pitieth us, •■ like aa a father pitieth his children." And as she pointed to and quoted text after text, had never Thus God it certainly e agony, iend; how- loved His vhich was unto her )ne morn- 5 went to vl around lee. The fie at the hissed me »it down 3. They ne hun- >eautiful iniqui- as the ■^ed our ike as a er text, MRS. hunter's story. j^g I remember thinkino- «* 4.1 inmKmg at the same t me " SnrpKr you have no iniquities or f.. • ^ equities or transgressions to denlorp for I do not think you could .1. „ , . P'°'^' »■ j'-'u couiu uo a wrontr flnnrv.'' j ever then I wished that T „ , , *^' ""'' Word • but 1 1, , ' '° '■"J™'^'' "' ««>■» to God , .^ ■™" ''"""' """ "- »™-r we get we^ i,:! ■""" "^ """ -J"'- ■" Hi.... the .o"^. ^1::;,:;;"°™ ''"'"'"--<'-'' of God. standi r"' '"' "" ''""" """ """"^ «-y ""der- stand .t because they can quote its text, ■ but 7 noUo^ As a history they ly ,e,, ,,!:'; ,. '^'j; parts ett,, ,,„„ „,,^^ ___^^^ ^^ which tey X be able to exnlain • o^^ i . ^ ^-^ «xpiain, some choosine- onp n.,,.f another as favorites Rnf .k . ^ ' '''''''' eMdhoodtoor;e!:'r-:vr"r"'" thoroughly understand it. tZ t e *° :^zrt;::Tuitrr'"--^^^"- come home t^ us a H '"''™''"' ""<■ P^^-^s bete us,' ha 1 'a chi^'V' '° •"™'^' ""' even a eh.Id may learn enough there- 1 ) P! IGO from for I THE HEAD KEEPEU. •i.s own guidunce, thong], imperfectly .otudy it out. Bui, if striving to do your duty 'i ' can yow are !i]y humbly without first 1 luting your heart to God . never read your Bible A little child asked one day t book which o I '" 'A- at a picture' wh,cl> was o„ .„a wuie. ns n,o,.ncr s.v. per- ™a„o„. ..nd the child taking tho bo<,k befi.; to ook .hrougl, w,th it „p«de down. An older ,L col, n .)=.« then, said, " Why, Johnnie, you have got the ;* ^"--S ;™y fl-^t- You canno. understand the pictures that way. Let ,ne show yo„ " "You go away," said the little fcllo.,.. .. I know as well as you. There. Jack the Oiant-killer, an" heresMoherHubbard,"a„dsoon,,.,intingashe spoke, and quite satisfied apparently wiU, the pictures as th. appeared to him. So it is with people and the Bible. Tl.ey argue .ts meanmgs and speak of its texts with undue fam.ha„ ty, quite satisfied with their opinions, even though they differ from the opinions of n.ost learned nien who have made Gods Word their careful study lor years. •'^ During the time I wa. at Highgate. my sister L. -e left her situation and went home. She was not very well, and her mistress thought a change of >!i]y I'e humbly >^cur Bible «i picture- gHVo per- avi to look ter cominff 'e got the stund the [ know as iller, and 'ing as he v^ith the ey argue h undue •ns, even 'j learned ul study y sister She was lange of MUS. HUNTEU'S STORV. j^| air would do her £roo<] tj, ^ ^ '"*^" oy the name of* Forth «».) against her father's wish h "'' ^'"^ ^^^^ "^"«J' ittLiicrs wish, became eniraffed fn h,'. ^'""''''''^^S to marry him soon "^ ^""' know of it tCZl """"^ '■' ^''O"'" "-- had a HHi . PP°""n"y of gomg to see them. I had a httle trouble to find her, but succeeded at last Clean, bhe was surprised to see me «n.? '•' -J., , J'lr« ""r 1"— — -' - II ras lazy, and she wo. d '4 not 4h' i n ! K lG2 THE HEAD KEEPEU. Jiave him in the hou father a^ai were married «e. Tliis. .she told me, had t liim. So they hurried tl from lier husband's sister set ings up and I Htayed witli her a few days, Jielp '"'"« ^»d walking out with them •ing her with her in the evenino-. TT I , ° — " i'livm m tne even Her husband seemed f^ k beemea to be a very nice fellnw t a. 0,™,,ed, etc I took it a„ i., ^„a p„, but wo„ W woud go to church regularly and be very hannv L,z.,e ened when I left her, and they v,ere to Ze but U,ey d,d not co,„e. and I have never seen the^, britht':r ' """' "'■^" ' "'^ >- «»d-bye that he lar , ' '^ ""' ' '''°""" ""''' '->= on Ker dear face agani, yet so it was. ne, had set igs up and r with her le evening, fellow. I sd fond of ing about ery much )ut would ped they y happy, to Come ortunity, en thern bye that look on CHAPTER X. DEATH OF LITTLE JIM. <( ( Come unto Me, dear children, And I will give you light.' Oh, loving voice of Jesus, Which comes to cheer the night." ' ''-"fe^ '..«ne,.. I had taken hi„ „„to my III ! Ii • lA I'l 164 J'WE HEAD KEEl'EH, V ■ kn e „, , „|j„„ ti„„„, „,^„„ ^1,^, _^^__ ^^ ■'-Vou'"andsuelnike.i„„tea»i„,WHt ,'f make In'm boyish " B„/ t T ' "^^ ^ ^^"'"^^ *" well, he contnued "anrl T ». w , -^ come ho.n f 7' "* *° ^"°^ ^^ y^^^ win come home for a few months ? Mar^hn J.„ "^ past, and as she wished hin. f« ^-. ^u- , :lr ' °™ ''*''^' "'™'' -- '">•" - week. 'he baby, „d at .rat di,. „ot know what to «ay I ret; T:, ' ■ T" "'•«"="'"'■ "" »- ^'^P-^ ' ^fa^t:i.r:tt^:-:— -keco„.e,wUrMl X:' d ri" T all about it. ' ^''"'"^ ^^^^ > " Baby ! " graat hoy ly; then, ^et know- lot think v^anted to 5 i." very you win a chance y as wet iness for ness for ;his she iicl take weeks ot seen jay. I )sed to sister talked that I would »g lier DEATH OF fJTTLE JIM. ^g^ She said to me, "Does vonr f..+) • , . * 1 1 . . -^ "' rather wish it ? " ..nri t told her he dif] "Ti, •• i '-"i it . and 1 clearly your ,l„ty fo ™, ■ « """'' " " ''""" reluctantly I wc, t anfl t, . '"" °''"^'-'"' ^""-y ■ that I auL JeC I T '"' '""'"'^ ^''"- >"f,- My adieux were mado at our wppII,, .n,uto.yr He,a,-dto.e,..Wmyoutat: -re could not save h lifc fo 1 T'" "" ">' »o old God toik ;;i " '"' "•'■^'' '" -- «- ^•.o L-r know h ;" ""' ""' '" '^^ >■-■ «■»» I never kne,v T / ' ^ """"^ 'nean.,--hr,v never knew-he got a little cold and „,i. i morning the least bit hoarse r . ™' hi.n t„ J . noarse. I immediate y took 'o hn„, .,„ch he did. and pronounced it b^nohi": :> '.'•I il . i? i> t 166 THE HEAD KEEI'EH. He just lived one week from that .lay. T novor went to bed one nl^.ht, and can safely «ay he had every care that a dnld could possibly have, but wo could not keep Imu. I felt his T snok. »„ f ,u about the breakfast H. , . ^ '""'"' H„ .t . , ''"^'- "« seemed hurt when I told h™ that Jnn had eaten nothing, and said, ..Wei ..ow you are at home you can do as you like with hen. only don't spoil them, or it will make it wo^e or them by-and-by" This was the very thougl t I had had myself, and I was convinced that they had ' been kept pretty strict. / In the afternoon, I said .. N««, i.« , WW, i\ow, boys, you can stay DEATH OF LITTLE JIM. 169 and talk to me, as it is a half-holiday. I want to know what you have been doing all the time I have been away fron. you r By degrees I got to know something about the way in which they were treated Not as beloved children, but like two little fellows allowed to stay around because there was no other place for them. The slaves of their half-sister, who would have been a very affectionate and loveable child, but that she was allowed to tyrannize over them and to have her own way too nmch. I was a long time before I found out all Martha's want of love and care; but everyday some new thing came to light that made me sorry I had ever left home. This giving away the breakfast had been going on for weeks, and many a day the dear little fellow had been kept without pudding, because he could not finish his meat and potatoes. The pieces he put into his pocket were fed to hungry dogs when they got outside. Sometimes, Harry said, if they were busy talking, he would help to eat up Jim's meat for him so that he could clear his plate and have his pudding but very often he had to do without. If he could not either eat, or do away with his breakfast, it was saved for his tea, and Harry, whenever he could get a chance, changed his own fresh piece for it. How it ever came to pass that my father could so r I' f ■ ■'H 1 , t- t i «: i:" 1' !'■ ' 1 ■ * 1 ! 1 "■ 170 THE HEAD KEEPER. much neglect them, or allow th do not know. The foil em to be so lowi I took him to a doctor, who said he advised me to mnke him a treated, I ■noon le was very ill, and »g Wednesday after: the and an out-patient ^..-uens nosp,tai, as he would require lor careful treatn.ent. I lost no time in gettingan applica- - trom our old friend. Miss Mansfield. Norl I --forget the day I took him there for the f^: Doctor Hillier was the one to examine him. He -ked me many questions concerning him : then call- IJ^^y ^^^^-f ^-^inaUon. Then Doctor Hillier «aid . 1 don t know whether we can save his life n:e^of:^'"'^^"'^^^^"^•'^-^"^^--^" need to follow our directions to the letter, and bring him to us twice a week. You must also be very ca.eulthe,ehasaU and that he has it regularly, for I must tell you tha he has forat least nine months been starved '' "Oh! surely not?" I said Seei„g troubled loo..- he «d : " What I mean, '' *'■,",' ■■; '«''' ■'°'' fo'- » 'east that length of time eve.yth,ng of a nourishing nature, and never have been allowed to miaa a meal. However, we wi], I ) treated, I afternoon fy ill, and nt of the long and n applica- tor can the first lim. He then call- nd made >r Hillier e his life ^ou will tid bring be very an take, ^ou that I mean, >f time, ve had 2r have H'iil rlr» DEATH OF LITTLE JIM. 171 our best for him. You see that he has such as we order are going to take care of h Wh much en I told father what they said, he un was ver' about, -i--- — ". vpvcijr way to cio tor him what was recjuired. Under their treatment, he appeared to get better and more cheerful. Yet, whenever I said to the doctor. " Do you think he is better ?" he always re- pbed. " Persevere, never miss giving him his oil and wme, or his bath, and do not let him miss a meal " That was the invariable answer to my question " Is he better ?" One day I took Edith with me, the little step- sister, and she was running about in the waiting room, when the doctor noticed her, and. patting her on the head, said : " Is this child with you r I told him she was. "What's wrong with her'" he said " Nothing, that I know of," I replied. He said " You had better get a turn for her, and bring hsr as a patient. There /. something wrong with her-she is too fat." I then remembered how fat little Jim was at one time, and, indeed, had often thought how much Edith resenibled him. But, not to tire you, I must hapten on with my story, I got a turn, and they treated her for three months. 172 THE HEAD KEEPER. ;| tk * She was then pronourced i'eather became got well. When my boy never warm, he was so t.red and languid that I could hardly ^.et him back and forth to the hospital. At last I had to get a carnage to wheel him there. Still I persevered One day, Dr. Hillier told me if I would leave him m for a few weeks, they could do better for him and he would be placed under the care of Dr. Jenner hunself. This was about three months after the baby's death. He had been under their treatment about seven months. It cost me a great effort to let him go in, but I knew that if there was a chance for his life he would have ,t in this way. So I consented, he, himself, bemg quite willing He was just there three weeks when he died. A short time before he was taken into the hospital, he awoke me one night to ask if I thought Jesus would let him go to Heaven when he died? I said, "Yes, my boy, I do. Why do you ask me thatr He said, "Because I have not always been a good boy, you know." I told him that Jesus had died for us, and that he loved little children Then he threw his arms around my neck (for I had taken him to sleep with me after the baby's death) saying, " I want to love Jesus more. Will you tell me that little hymn about the sweet story of old V vC;'-'-v,i;\j; DEAPH OF LITTLE JTM. boy never t'ln, he was y ^et him had to get ievered. leave him r him, and )r. Jenner after the treatment in, but I he would , himself, 'ee weeks i^as taken 3 ask if I when he ' you ask fc always lat Jesus children, or I had 's death) you tell )f old ?" 173 And there, in the middle of the night, I repeated the lanuliar words : I think, wlien I read the sweet story <,f old. How, when Jesus was here among men, ' He called little children as lambs to His fold, I should like to have been with Him then. ' I wish that His hands had been placed on my head, That His arms had been laid around me ; And that I might have seen his kind look when he said, " Let the little ones come unto Me 1" Yet, still to my Saviour in prayer I may go, And ask for a share in His love ; I know if I earnestly seek Him below, I shall see Him and hear Him above- In that beautiful place He has gone to prepare For all who are wash'd and forgiven ; And many dear children are gathering there, " For of such is the Kingdom of Heaven !" The next day, in the afternoon, I was sitting be- side hun, and I asked him unat he would like for his tea ? He said, " I think 1 could eat some shrimp, if papa would let me sit on his knee to eat them "' Ana the little pale face flushed crimson, as if he was doing something wrong. 1 did not an.wer him • my heart was too full, but I sent for the shrimps; and when father came in to tea, i told him what Jim had ii.; If' t I i I; * 11 ■ if I ; i li ; ' f;S it fn 174 'JTHE HEAD KEEPER. said. He was greatly moved, and took Imn at once into Ins an„s, and the little fellow gave Imn such a clasp around his neck as almost to exhaust himself But. looking perfectly contented and happy, he ate a larger tea .nan he had done for a long time. Dear reader, Iiow I grieved for my bov when he died. How I vexed myself with the thought that I should not have left home, and how I thought of Martha with bitter anger in my heart, comparing her conduct to him, with my own to hrr children. But here, as in all cases, God, our Father, knew what was best; "He doeth all things well." I ha^e since then thanked Him sincerely for the great love which took the child into that haven of rest, where he is shielded from the stormy wind and tempest. My stepmother stayed in her situation eleven niontlis. then came home. I had consented to stay with them at my father's urgent request, and I made up my mmd to do my best to be agreeable. I had spoKen strongly at the time of dear little Jim's death and said things which, perhaps. 1 ought not to have' sa.d. It was not natural to me. however, to bear mahce, and we were outwardly on good terms again though I cannot say I had forgiven her. I could not stay long, however: she took so many ways of annoying me, treating me so much like a la at once iiii sncli a it himself. , lie ate a when he ht that I lought of aring her 3n. But, ew what tve since ve which ire he is I eleven to stay I I made . I had s death, to have to bear i again, > many i like a bEATH OF LITTLE JtM. J 75 Child that I was very unhappy. Hurry and Jim had got n.to the habit of kissing their father good-ni^ht before Jim's death, and Hany had continued to do'iso He and Edith woul.I run together, to see who would get first to his knee. Harry, for fun, always fell down, stumbled, or caused something to Imppen. so that she might win the race. The first night Martha came home, I took Edith and undressed her as usual down stairs; then at the child's request, said, " Bell-horses, bell-horses, what time a day ; one o'clock, two o'clock, three, and away " Then both started, as usual, got their kiss, and then were about to run up stairs. I said, " Edith, there is somebody else to-night, see !" pointing to her mother. Ihen she ran to her, crying out, " I got first, Harry '" and jumping up into her mother's lap, kissed her good-night. Harry went up to her in a timid man- ner, saying, " Good-night, mother," to which she re- plied, " Good-night." But Edith, not satisfied with this, said, " You must kiss Harry, too, mama. Sissy kisses him :•• " Oh, no !" she said. " I don't kiss boys ■ Harry is too big for me to kiss." And thus she missed the chance of winmng his love and obedience to which i had been training him. For he has told me since he has grown up that he had made up his mmd to try and be a good boy when she came home ■ «1 176 THE HEAD KEEPER. but that when slie said that to Editl did not care. ), he felt as if he The next day, and, indeed, every day after this there was little or no peace. Whatever I did, she would misunderstand. One Monday she complained of neuralgia, and said she did not feel able to get up to wash the next morn- ing as was our custom. So, without saying anything to her, I got up earlier myself, and got things all ready for blueing by breakfast time. When we had finished breakfast, I told her to lie down and I would wash the cups and saucers after awhile. I then went out to put out the clothes, the wash kitchen being behind the house, and the yard behind that again She could not see what I was doing, and I wished to surprise her, when the clothes were dry, by taking them in to her. When I went back to the house she asked me where I had been. I said not far, but it was a secret she should know, sometime, and I smiled never thinking that she was vexed. At dinner-time' however, when we were all seated, she made two or three remarks which I did not understand at the time ; and when father asked me some question be- fore I had time to answer, she said, " You must not ask Mary any questions, or she will tell you to mind your own business, as she told me this morning I 1>EATII OF IJTTLK .J I M. was quito taken by suij me ? I never told von t n-ise, and said, " Do you 177 niean am Huro. ) niind your own busincsis I " You niiglit just as well." slie said. I Maid, " How ; I do not understand you at all ^" She tossed her head, saying, " Oh, no ' Of course not You know your father does not like gossipin,. and after being away at some of the neighbors for about an hour wIkmi T ...^i^r^.i . i nil, wncn 1 asked you where you had been, did you not say it was a secret ?" I nnders^,od her then, and, rather in anger, said, ^ eH, I d,d tell you it was a s.cret, but I had been talking to no neighbors, as you will see if you go and look in the back yard. The secret, as you call it I had intended as a pleasant surprise. Knowing how much you disliked washing, I got up earlier this morning to do it." "Yes," was her reply, " so that you might be able to tell people you did it." This is only one instance of many like it, and I Boon found that we could not get on at all together. It father was in any way affectionate to either Harry or myself, it was enough to make her cross for the rest of the day. Not feeling well one day, I had been to see a doctor and was a little late for dinner. They were just S!^* ft ' $■ w ,'f II! il IJ. , liifli^ pi V Si ■: ■1^ 178 THE HEAD KEEPEn. ready to sit down when I went in ; so I hastened to lay aside my bonnet and mantle, and took my seat. " How pale our invalid looks this morning." said my father, " especially about the whites of the eyes " I really was very weak and tired, and, feeling that he was making fun of me, though only in a joke, I said also in a joking way, "And you would be pale, too If you had been as ill as I have for the last few days I can tell you." ' Martha turned around on me furiously : " How ^iaro you speak to your father like that ?" slie said ■' Ih it any use my teaching the children to be re- «{K;ctful, if you behave like this ?" I asked her what I had done ; and turning to father I said, " Did I speak wrong to you, father, or disre- spectfully r But. before he could answer, she jumped up, and, stamping her foot, bade me leave the room at once, as she would not be answered, at all events. Then I, too, was angry, and said. " I will both leave the room and the house," and immediately put on my things and went out, I scarcely knew whither. Presently, I found myself in the Borough, walk- ing slowly, and stopping occasionally to look in at the shop windows. I saw some one looking at me very intently, a young lady whose face seemed strangely familiar. After looking at each other more Lstened to ly seat, iiig," said the eyes." g that he ke, I said pale, too, 'ew days, "How she said. be re- io father >r disre- jumped room at mts. ill both ily put ^^hither. walk- : in at at me seemed r more DEATH OF LITTLE JIM. 179 Mary nard " ^"" '^'""'^ ^'*>'- It was many yea., .since we parted at the Oxford at,on. She had been one of many who had ,.one here to see us off when we left for B— , and we .ad never met since. Now, at her request, I went to take ea with her. She was keeping house for her only brother. Her parents were dead. I told her how I was situated, and she insisted that 1 .sJ.onld stay awhile with her. and I could be on the look-out tor a situation in the meantime. Perhaps my readers are wondering why I did not go back to Highgate. I can hardly explain it, except m tins way. God was leading. I was very happy when there, and I paid Miss Hatch a visit after the baby s death, and spent a very happy day with her. but I never had any desire to join any other Baptist Church. I sometimes went to the little Spencer Place chxpel. but oftener to St. Matthew's church Once more I was under a cloud, something seemed to hide Gods love from me. I still read my Bible and prayed, but I was unhappy and listless. I could not understand myself at all. But, dear reader, I can tell you now what the shadow was that came between me and my God. It ' ,L IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) h /- f/. 5?', ^ 1.0 I.I 1^1 28 ■50 ■^" Ao 12.0 2.5 2.2 1.25 11 u 1.6 Photographic Sciences Corporation m v ^^ \ :\ ^" ,- ^is ^rand- y have a it once, if ivitation, "terwards ig that I overness. ivitation not but 3me and hundred md dear DEATH OF LIITLE JIM. l^^g We wore all disappointed, I more than any of them as I was taking such a long journey. However, I eft messages of love with Annie and was obliged to be content. I bid my stepmother good-bye, askmg herto let by-gones be by-gones and kissed her. She returned the kiss a little coldly, but I thmk there were signs of tears in her eyes. I am glad I kissed her and that we parted in peace, for she IS dead and I never saw her after that time ^ knew . who nie was having lie and we got down. ! away f for a e they li m CHAPTER XI. MAlim GOOD NAME IS IN DANGEB. Could we but kneel and cast „ur load, Even while we pray, upon our God, ' Then ri,se with lightened cheer ; ' Sure that the Father, who is nigl,,' To still the famished raven's cry, ' Will hear in that we fear. I MAY pass over the events of „„,■ jo,„.„ey, ^Weh ended ,„ ,. .dia. we.eon.e at a pretty little tieara.^ esKled. Sl,e ,va.s the „,other of two lovable ehiid- r n-a hoy, tlnve years old, an.l a girl, fifteen .nonths. B I, «he and her husband n.ade me very weleon.e, and I ,„ay here .say that I became convinced by tl.en. da,ly l„e and condnet that it was possible to }i ?, f. I 1 Him."- , which icarage lai-Iotte i chijd- nontlis. ilcoine, !ed by ble to MAUY's CiOOD NAME IS IN DANGER. 185 live a holy life in the cliureh as well as out of it ; and being led to speak of my perplexities and doubts to them, they were then and forever set at rest, and I returned to the true fold, humbled and penitent. From that time I have tried to learn more and more of God and His Word, and I do not feel myself now, in my old age, half so clever, or half so learned, as I, in my arrogance and self-love, believed myself to be when I was in Highgate. I must say that, though I have beer fortunate enough to meet and to know some very good and holy people who did not belong to the church, yet all dissent has a tendency to make us think too much of ourselves, and too nmch of what our lives appear to others, instead of what they are to God. I remember seeing a picture one day, representing a beautiful flower garden, in which two children were playing. They were gathering the most lovely flow- ers and strewing tliem over each other's heads, laugh- ing gaily all the while. In the sunshine above them a pure angel was hovering around, and looking down on them, perfectly happy. A little further on in the picture, the same surroundings, the same two children, but each grasping the same handful of flow- ers, and their faces changed from happy laughter to sulleness and anger; the sunshine gone, apparently :Wa m 'ii ! ] ? (Si h .1.(1 all im 186 THE HEAD KEEPER. trebled. F r^ ;: ^™'^' t"^ ""'^ - «« He is part of Him A T '"""*"" °* «"" "^ -^ " 1-4 ffi:;„i7;'.'^^»°"°'b^''--t without ^ g «i.B, and sm i„ ever so small a form hurts But to go back to my story. We had a very pleasant us to York and several places of interest. We went ^ morn,ng service in the Minster. We went Zll Charlotte:;!: ttS't^^r;! "•: r-^"' "-" for me whi^l, i, ^ " ""'*"" situation month ! ; /'' ^'^^'^-^ '" d-"g at the end of a month, and I became enffawd «„ . . ness to a lady at S ! '^'"'•>' S"™'- milesfromBl^ ^IrtT' "'^" «™ » - for about two yea. I! ' """' '"'^'" '-°"«' two years as governess to three vouno. ohUdren; respectively, three, five and seven yrrs of face, too, I'ow, and leave my they can, precious ■is body, lin He is ive are a without 11 hurts >lea.sant te took e went also to at the I to go i, and uation lof a fover- )r six home oung irs of MARY'S GOOD NAME IS IN DANGER. 187 age. Their fatlier, whom we will call Mr. Grant was a great deal from home, sometin^es n.onths' toge her, and Mrs. Grant, being somewhat of an invalid, made a companion and friend of me. Many were the pleasant hours we spent together, and having to leave her was a sad trial to me, but it became a duty. One member of the household would persist in pav- ".g attentions to me which I knew were not lawful and were in every way distasteful to myself So after nmch thought I told Mrs. Grant I would have to leave. It was hard to with.stand her pleading w.th me to stay, and made harder by the fact that I could g.ve her no reason for going. Thus we parted, will not say in anger, but certainly on her side with coldness, and no wonder What could she thi V but that I was fickle-minded and fond of changes > lo, 1 left her to take a situation as cook in a small lamily. The household was small, four servante only were kept: cook, housemaid, parlor maid and lady's maid Here, too, I found a happy home, though it was not without Its trials. Memory takes me back, even now, to the kind lady who was my mistress in that pleas- ant residence, which was situated on the Roundhay Road, near Leeds. My mistress truly she was, but Ml 188 THE HEAD KEEPER. »-t that only. She was a kind and faitl in a tnno of tioublo, and herMf 'li'ul friend ;L '"-""'"""• """ ""^-"' ""- ^y '- loving Wule t..e,-e I ..ecoived a letter f™„ Je„„ie May- sTw r ■;■• '""' ""'•^- -^ '"■°"-' -- 4 ot T : ■ ': '": T"""'''-' '"^ '""i -. and would "ot go to .school, but was constantly playing truant :; ^■""*'' ".^- " «-' "-' of trouble. 'l wro ; to I a oneo. urgmg bin. to be „,anly and try to do " ought to do, wth much more in the .a„,e strain ■ but he^neveranswe^dit. I do not know if he o!! About the same tin.e I received a letter from Ann.ctemngmethathehadrunawayf.tb : and stayed two days; then had been brought back bv ome ne.ghbor, but ha., run away again, s^i^g th ee or four days, and that father had Ln put him S at r; "' '"'"■ ''"' "" ^«^^™' '^y^ I -uid of h,m. and .t seemed such a disgrace to think of bim as hav.ng been placed anywhere for ^- j Affain fh„ ,..j !,•». "uywne.e tor m.sconduct. Aga.n the old b.tterness against my stepmother came 'ul friend hrongh a and love >r loving lie May- 'as very d would : truant e to him » do his d aH he in; but le ever ' from home ick by taying it him vas so could much f him iduct. came MARY'S GOOD NAME IS IN DANGEU. 189 back to me with redoubled force. I bhtmod her for It all. If his home had been a happy one. why need he have left it ? and what could have induced father to place him there I could not understand. I wrote to father, sending the letter to Annie that she nnghttake an opportunity to give it to him when alone. She did so, and he promised to answer it, but he never did. About tin's time I was quite p».zled witl. tl>e behaviour of my fellow-servants. They all at once began to shun my society, and would get together and talk m whispers, only speaking to me when they were obliged. Even John, the gardener, who was a mamed man, did the same, and his wife, who used to run in at least once each day for a minute or two now did not come at all. It took me some time to get to the bottom of the trouble, but I will tell you how it came about. I had often spoken to them of my brother, of mv own mother's death, and my great love for her boys wh.ch she had left in my charge. I had said to hem that 1 should send for him as soon a. he was a httle older, and try to make a home for him in Yorkshire. I spoke freely of this as being a great wish of mine. And the gardener, who had a family had often been present when I had spoken of this iff 1 11, I i i Isi:- l r 1 i 190 scheme. I had %■" Wlien I THE HKAD KKEPRR, H iireai habit of eaUiug H; was at Mrs. Grant 'irry "my nieces had visited her at Th^ '' ""' ^^ ^^'^^ •«ifctu nei at different t nnos fmm t i when K.tweo„ them an,l myself 11 l ^ ' attaclunent which k,t«l „ *^""""'' »" the...e>ves fue ft e 117"" r^' ""^ "^"""^ to me and mine, "' '"'"" ""^ "'"' °P«" Now whenever they came to Roundhav to v,«-t I was permitted to show them ove. „ T^ grounds, and one day I asked n.. ■ ^ " few flower's for *h„/ T P«"'»8s.on to gather a home. CdM „ ".r "^^'"•'^^•'^^ -" "-y from one but himt f r:';, "tr^' '^''"^'^ "^ -y of my friends a'fe: ' A, hi "™' ' ^.f '■^'' ^»«'' J ^ou„d afterwards, th^' :7th7;ar r^J;- knowmg the flowers spoke of them TT «"'egir,to,dhimth:tih:';i:t:s: was very angry. Then it was L several davsf *d not speak to me more than he was Xd'"'"^ I knew nothing of all this at the time So H • went on for a week or two, and the I^^s in tte h'"'' began to act, as I said, very st^^ngeT^ Thl ig ^ on the table, I cried ,„„g and bitterly. I waf J^'::^ « irry "my *e of her am Leeds, >»'nie(I an ' proving iver open visit me t of the gather a ay from by any- ed each r home, and he B. His n. He ays he things house %htl placed oud I head much MAUV'S OOOI) NAME IS ,N DANOEU. 191 troubled then to notice their want of sympathy though r atterwarcls ren.en.bered it. Hut I an! very «lad to ren^ember that I never told them either of »- -ning from his own home or being placed in At last one n.orning I said to the housemaid. Hannah^ what is wrong with you girls, and with Jou b ''''^ ,'"^^ '"^^"""^' ^o vex or displease you ? because ,f I have I think it would be only just to me that you should tell me what it is " She then told me that they had made up their minds to give notice and leave. I was greatly astonished and said, " On my account do you mean ? " ^ She said. " Yes, they had all agreed to do so rather than stay with me." wh'yr"'" ^ ^'^' "^^'^'" ^' "^'' ^"" "^"^^ ^^" ™« J No." she said, '.' John had thought it best not to not f^''i/'"'' ""^'^ ^'^^ "^" *^^^ ^' '-- «^"ch not to tell me more." "Well" she said, "I shan't tell you, but when the " ?■ wT' ^""'^ *""' '° '""'='' ""»"' y°»r ' dear boy. W.th which speech she tossed her head and leit the room. 192 was THE mAt) KEEPEll. completely in the .lark. Wl "lean, I knevv not. I them to be an sa'd, It w not us, it was Jolin told us '■ " Yes, we did," said Hannah. " Then," said I, " what did he say ? " " Oh, you had better ask him," they said it she could »iii^^ to cause lid she mean ut my dear 'Slied across :'i tlie day, y sort of a were all in lat is, the 'id not Jive ^Id them I I'cused me. f you are iipany for ig, so now t Hannah fit coni- ould ask MAHY-S GOOD NAM.. ,.s i.v i>ANGE.. J (,3 " I certainly shall do that," I ronlied " „. 1 •. , thotruth,andifitisvouwll 1 ""'-^ ^t be ^'"'^'^' ^'^'^'^'"o need to leave " Come, Hannah," I said, " for tlu^ m. 1- , friendship, what is if T "^ ""' ^''"'^ i ' vvijuu js It J am accuso( nP i n irrritr' ''■-'■-■"•"- bid me seek my be.l to-nicrhf itJ^onf t • I bave done." knowm^r what ^Hms appealed to, Hannah said, '^ Well I ,]on'f -bat John said, let us tell he ." A t^^ ~. sbe toU me that Jolnniad tllrt eiat^ 1:::;:' ^^ ^^ ^^^^^"' ^^^^ - ^^^- 'y Clear boy, was not my brother -i^ T ],p j,„,i 1 " *^ • ^^^^'' besides a this he had known me to tak'e thiny my dead mother." "But" T «„'7 .< t , ^ ever, I will deal with him," """'■ "Then," I sai=" --'^--^ ■neand'-wia »' do «.e,,ust.ce n. the way I have deseribed, sin.jjy eay t'li.s in n,)t tli.'ui Ik'Toi-o. I'Nt, and jiow 5 liiin ])r()vu -^nly Fatlier ><1 I liml, I t be euahlod luio-Iit SCO tliat he by •ni^ht each ►vliose lielp lul now, I you, ii) tlie back the I will try our own ^ softened you shall lall never ^be other certainly a magis- is right, igetables, I wish to "pJy say MAUY'.S good VA^rr ic .»» ' NAMK IS IN DAXQER. 107 good-iiiorning, a.s u ;n-il • 1 -n .1 t'Wn.r II not, , "™" ""■>^'"-'" " II not ■l"Mt„p,„,kt„„„.„„„^^._^^.| ^ft'-- "-nt,,,, this I ,,,„•„ p,,,^,,,,, „^.„,. ™"'.|„„v felt ,, ,,„,,,, t„.,J \ ' ; '\'""l ■•'■«'''■ Then, ,„ it was ,„..,., '"" ''"""' 1 .1 . . ^ ' ''"^ best way to m4 .iKIr. ^« them /":;•'''' ''■'■■'^ ■'■"""'■« I -"t'Wnt tne little gate through which thp K^, asm^fori I u • , ^ "°y came who assisted John m the irardoti T * 1 1 i • At last the k,tehe„ door opened and John walked the f«,e he sa.d, « Good-mornin» cook" T .• ^ that he fcre.„bled exceedinrfv S , . """"^ without speakin. r it f.' ' '"*.™^ '^™ "^ ^^air, telling them speaking r went tocall the girls Jjoud be „ad to have the,„eo,„ei„t; the kitchen iorafew,„o,„ent. Thev ca.ne, but o„ ...«„, it sJl 198 THE HEAD KEEPER. •■ { ■'J ' hope to be, through it a hnmKi , ^ ' ^ friends « fpw i . Permission to give each of my and not to destroy the beds T th u , ^ with hin, and he passed ou? '"''-'" '"-'^ ^ands osed tlie door, a»d to thciu better tlian ' had yielded 3 very angry le for taking ^y hoy and 's as though » " I tell you ainst cook's ck. I have stify me in your pres- '• She has ' which has >rget, but I er man. I you would I for you." stolen the ich of my IS he was areful, in ^'' thickly >k hands MARVS GOOD NAME B ,N j,an„,j,. jgj, I expressoii to the giri» a wisi, H,„t n ■ . -cans their re pe 1 'T' ""' "^ "'"^ ''^ '«" -c.H;t:':^;:;::;-*eM.ppe„e<, x-^.'we.::;::^;:;:^^-''^-'-- Hannah told me that the last year cook had ™ , them a lot of things and n„t ti • ""^^ down the eellar an^ltl '" " ''""''"= '"^ "IB cellar and had covered them so fh»f n, could get to them when they liked "^ " Why put them in a tub ? " I asked " ^^- ^""'^ youknow the ' missis ' goes down th» cellar every day." said Hannah "and 2t T^ want her to see them." ""^ cook did not " Do you mean to tell me that she cooked ,!„«• , K . was extravagant then 1 " "" """^ "Oh, no, but she was not told to make ns a cake or 'Vthm.. so she thought it better to hide it" Im anythi 200 THE HKAJ) KEEPER. |ti " VVeJJ now tWri^, " t . , t^ll me to „,„ke ^,„' , ' ' '"' ""''■'"ss did not ■^i^oiH.,, ta,„e t b? ,:: '" 1' "'" ^^'•■^"^•o "- ^"" .n.^y -eavo ;:,:: :::t:;'f -- -^ "•••» ti.„o. «<""etl,ing,,„,„j fo,. C)u-i,,'t,n„,,^ " '""" '''"""' "'"' Wliori X Timdf tlio ,,,,,.1. • p'».--.one,fo..t,Ktk.e;:i;::';;;"''^-^^^ '■"•"l" th.. t,.i„„„i„,. „„. „,,,,: 7 ""'■'■'••-^ - then,, '''•"'» "-ithom tho rollin,. ■ T , , ' "^ " ■''™" for ou,«lve,,, also a D,„u' , ' " '"'"" P''"'" ™">-'^- "■'"»^i->o.d;..a:;p ■rt;:*■•^''""«--■^■ -■*.... I invited n,y" J "?"'"' "-""""if '<> P«.-po.so>,. a„.a„gin/eha H? ^ 'T'' "'' ^<"*' -"- at the sa„; tin \"::rV'""'''' ^^ ■" "'« ■'""ce pies fo,. on,. o„.„ nt " "" "P"''' fo'"' -S::::::':i:ra7"^--^'-''--^^ handiwork she ™H 1 ' "' "'' ''»'^«d at „,y -e" a.s they look ! Whya 1 h "^ °"'^ '"'"^ "^ ™id ; •' did vo„ . . " "°' '^'•«''s«d r she ' ura you get tii-ed?" noi„t;„„ , pies. pointing to our pork :ress did not the kitchen, wi.slied the y and well, ^ this time, (liniior and corn ting- a,s made four 26 in them, Ofl (h'Hl of Jiapes, nnfl 'P a small 'iain cake* ^g every. Drding to «y Work, >e in the art four 31" hands at my y nice, 'aste as i r she f' pork MAKY's good NVMF i« TXT r.. ^'^'^lE IS IN DANGER. 201 ^^} I said, SmiJinrr- « iW t'-"«l.t wee„„W CO wit LoutL , ""■ ' wouW take !,.„ ti,„e' '"-o-fon. and it ^«ppyc,„.i..rT;;i:r,ir'r'''™"^'''-^- " to invite 1 fMv f, ■ , / ' "''" <=™tinm,l, are ali '" '"'^ ""•' ''"y «««•■ '1" »" wj are all "•oin"t '"".o was the be'zi::::;:"-'-l-"7r--.'^o,ikewi.^ findfau;. ^° "^'". a^' no true lady win In the following spring the family decided tn otriat;:::^::?"-^---"^^^^^^^^^^^ was k,„d ; his wife, beautiful, good and t™ ' T -stress, a pattern mother, a fa'hf„, lit, ah " all, a true servant of God. I was Z^lT with them, and durinc. th»t H T " ™ ^^""^ an..y. She was fi m in L::/:!?^ ^ ■'^" "^'• and children, but never :;;:!' '°"'""""^"™"'^ I m ^1 i: H 202 THE HEAD KEEPER. When w,Uki,« out one ,lay with tl.c young ladies e,„, ™^ hot , .at .,own o„ a ,..a4 .^.k and toM them th..y„„„ht sit, low., too, a„,l.. est awhile, M,ss Lou,,,, ^,j_ ,.Th„„k you; we would like to ' but „,amn,a tol.l us neve,, to sit down on the g,,., at' Z"r' ""'-^ »"^ "- -it" -, or had «fven us I could .see at onee there wa, reason in the eharge So ...any who are inclined to be carele,,s would be apt eo allow the praetiee, even when the gra.,s was damp I was very proud of Mis» Louisa's eonduet, too. for it Bpoke pla,nly of her loyalty to her mother, though she wa« not more than eight years old . At one time Bertha, three years old, came into the What IS the matter, pet ?" She drew a deep sigh, saying, "Please, nursie, put me mto my 'itUe bed. I was naughty, and ma,m„a IS very sorry, but she must whip me " I told her I was sorry, too, to hear she had been naugh y, and I took her at once and put her to bed Presently I heard her mamma go to her and stay a few mmutes. She got up at her usual hour, aboul our oelock, and coming into the nursery, placed herself ,„ a corner which wa^ used by nurse a. a punishment, if at any time she was disobedient 'un^' Jadie.s, bank and it awhilo. lid like to," !ie gviim at I i,'iven u« he charge, uld be apt '■as damp, too, for it r, though into the I said, irsie, put niamnia ad been to bed. nd stay I', about placed 'se as a bedient. mauy's good name is in danger. 203 When nur.se saw her go into the corner, she said to her, " Miss Hertiia, are you naughty tliat you go into , the corner?" and the child, turning half around, said, tearfully, " No, nursie, but I was naughty, and niannna had to whip nie, and she was so sorry she cried, and I want to cry now, 'cause I'se sorry, too." " Very well, dear," said nurse, " then when you have cried a little, we will go and tell nmtiima how sorry you are, shall we ?" " Yes, please, nursie," said the child. I can never forget that touching little scene. There stood the fair-haired, beautiful child, her pinafore lifted, and now and again wiping away a tear. At last she came forward, her little cheeks flushed, and said she was ready. So Crowther took her hand! and going with her, told her mamma that she had brought a little girl to her who was sorry for having been naughty, that she was unhappy about it and was needing a little comfort, which she doubtless got. for after awhile the dear child came back to her play as happy as a queen. Indeed, everyone in that house was happy. The poor were cared for in many ways. There were always from three to seven families who sent for milk morning or evening each day, and seldom less than three basins, sometimes more, filled at dinner- 201 THE HEAD KEtl'EK m i time for invalids. Thc..^ were taken inio the ,linincr- r^>-m un.l filled by Mr. TetJey I.in.self fron. the best on the table. At Christn.as. it was a busy tin.e preparine Sund!; School, and wa. able to rejoice in the Lord and once agam to feel the peace of God in my heart. Mr Gell and h,s three daughters were our true friends, and we were^ccved with them wherever they went. Such a .estful, blessed fme in which to prepare for work to which God was about to call me, and for which He had been preparing me all my life. 00. I saw im what I Mary, my that time, 3n with a I stayed wan quite friends, I Jr's aunt e a home 'igly did, e sewing, mt, took ^ery well or about re. We Sunday nd once Mr. Gell , and we Such )r work lich He CHAPTER XII. I BECOME A BIBLE-WOMAN. "The poor ye have always with you, and when ye will ye may do them good." . To the work, to the work, we are servants of God, Let us follow the path that our Master has trod, With the balm of His counsel our strength to renew, Let us do with our might what our hands find to do. At last God has called me to work for him. What a privilege, and what a responsibility ! I am offered a position as Bible-woman in a large parish. Shall I accept it ? Is it possible that I shall b^able to do what is required of me ? These were my thoughts as I sat with the letter in my hand. I looked back over the past and I realized as I never had before God's goodness and wisdom. What a great Head Keeper we have got ! Now I shall j'. 208 THE HEAD KEEPER. i ^ i ' I : : ;S ■c ,.We to use tl,e lessons, son.o of wl.iel, I tl,o»Kl,t so !'-■• to lom-n. Tl.us tl,i„ki„,, j p,,y,,, 4,,^^ ,-,^^, W0..I.I go with ,„e to the work an,l follow with his oies.sinir. Many poople l,,„.JIy k„o„ „,|,„t „ BiUe-wo,„an's 'vork consists of. I will give yon a brief sketcli of mme. It ,s chiefly au.ong the „-orki„g classes, of courae I was supposed to visit every house, and there to speak such words as should be helpful aud do such th„,gs ascounnended themselves to n,y notice. J hus, ,t was a good-morning to one, a short conversa- f on w,th another ; reading Gods Word to a blind wo,na„, and to an old man who had been twenty years m bed; teaching a little crippled girl to crochet, .,0 that she «,ay not have so n,any lonely houi-s ; help- "« a cripple boy to n,ake a scrap-book ; taking a sick child from some weary mother for a little while ■ speaku,g words of comfort to a mother whose' daughter was worse than dead ; nmnagiug the work and getting it ready for the Mothers' meeting ■ .et- mg the boy^s together one evening in the week ; reading to them some interesting story to get their attention then turning it into a Bible lesson almost unknown to them; the girls another evening in the same way. ll.us the sick and the poor were visited and minis- tered unto. thou ol it so that God W Witll JllH e-woman's sketch of classes, of louse, and Jlpful, and »y notice, conversa- 3 a blind nty years fochet, so rs; help- aking a le while ; r whose ;he work 11^ ; ^^et- : reading ttention, nknown ine way. d minis- I BECOME A HIBLE-WOMAN. 200 I never was refused admittance to any house but always welcomed. God's loa.lino- <,f ,„e and' the way ni which He had prepared me for the work, was a perfect way. In trouble and bereavement I could sympathize. I knew how to feel for the very poor, and I ha.l learned from kind friends just how to min- ister to their needs. I could feel for those who had come down ni the world, and help them without . woundincr their pride. I soon became thoroughly in- terested in my work, and spent many happy hours in the parish. We had (juite a staff of district visitors and tract distributors, some of whom I remember now with love and respect. They were, for the most part ladies of high position. I was in no way their equal, yet they helped to make my life pleasant. No week passed in which I was not invited to some of their houses; to lunch here, to five o'clock tea there, or to spend an evening somewhere else. But suddenly a great calamity befell the people of Leeds. The large iron foundry belonging to Sir Peter Fairburn was closed and hundreds of men thrown out of employment. Very soon want and sickness were everywhere. I do not think I could have con- tinued the work at all but that the clergyman and his wife were so good, and being wealthy they enabled 14 t! 210 tHE HEAD KEEPER. y mo to can-y to the house, of the poor temporal bleasmgs ^ well a. spiritual. I was supplied with tickets for coal, flour, bread and soup. This made my task easier, for it would have been a hard task to go where there was hunger and want and not to be able to relieve it. In spite of all our care, however, sickness was soon added to want. Typhoid fever stalked into our imdst. One young nmn in the prime of life, who was soon to have gone home t6 be n.arried, was stricken down, and I could tell from his ravings that he had a mother who was expecting him. He seemed to pic- ture her at a garden gate, and several times he went over words which were like a greeting to her. Then he would appear to listen for a minute and say "Is that Katie's voice I hear ? Why don't she come to meet me r Then he would get excited again, and notlnng but showing him his boots and clothes all ready to go to the station at the proper time would satisfy him. Thus I left him at eight o'clock in the evening, And a mother of five children I left so weak and low that it was hardly possible she could ' recover. A girl of twelve years in another house who had never been strong, now gave out entirely' and in another house a baby boy lay dying. Each of those families I left with a promise of y V temporal pplied with This made ard task to not to be kness was d into our J, who was IS stricken b he had a ed to pic- s he went 9r. Then i say. " Is i come to gain, and lothes all ne would ck in the I left so ihe could r house, entirely, •mise of I BECOME A BIBLE-WOMAN. 211 il being there a.s early as possible the next morning. Thus it came about that I went out so much earlier than usual on this well-remembered day. I went first to the young girl ; she had been dead an hour. I then went to the baby boy ; he had died at nine the night before. Then to the mother; she had died through the night. The young man, also, was dead ; he had lived till early morning, but never was con- scious. I had written to his friends, who lived in London, telling them of his illness. They were ex- pected to see after and attend to his funeral, which they did. But in each of the other cases there was abject poverty. Each one had to be buried, and they had not wherewith to put their dead out of their sight. Witnessing their sorrow and grief, helping to relieve it, and hastening from one place to another, was too much for me. I was completely unnerved, and just about noon I started for home to take dinner and rest, but fell on the street before I could get there. This was the beginning of a severe illness. The doctor said the nervous system was entirely run down; and here again I realized the kindness of many friends. There were weeks in which I had to be watched night and day. And oh ! how kind every- one was. Two friends, each night, to sit up with me> ( If i *f H m m i 212 THE HEAD KEEPER. mtii so that Ann,e could get her proper rest and be fit to attend to me thr„u„.|, the day. Every teaeher in our Sunday School took their tur„-hi«h and low. rich and poor. As .soon as I was able to go out I was taken for a drive almost every day I went back to my work in about .six weeks, an.l a:tCpi::r'^"'°'^'''"''"°'''^"»"™-^'»p°- At the end of that time, however, the time had come ,n wh.ch I had to take the one step in a woman's life which should be most carefully taken. I had dunng that year found a family who were very proud and very poor. There was the mother (a widow) and «^ee sons; the youngest was dying of consumption. Soon after they moved into that neighborhood I waa told about them. I wa. at the same time informed that nobody was admitted intK, the house. After n.ak.ng .t a matter of prayer, I one day knocked at t.ie door. A sad, pale-faced little woman opened it a I.t le way, but I could see that she had no intention ot letting me in. "I beg your pardon." I said, '■ but I heard you had a r ""^ ';r '^'" ^°" ^'^ "im these?" handing her a small bag of oranges. " If he is able to see ml I W.11 ca 1 to-morrow and bring him some grapes." I then sa,d « good-bye," as though I were in a hurry not g,vmg her time to say more than " thank you " I BECOME A BIBLE-WOMAN. »d be fit to 2her in our J low, rich 5ut I was ^eeks, and •y import- time had t woman's ». I had ?ry proud iow) and umption. od I was nformed . After )cked at sned it a itentioR u had a landing see me )es." I hurry, ^ou." 213 The next day I went about the .same hour and found tliem quite prepared to ask me in, and this was the beginning of my visits there, whieli were almost daily until the young man died two months later. His name was Joseph, and his brother William was his constant nurse, most gentle and tender. Tliey all three had worked in the foundry which liad closed down so suddenly, but had not lived in my parish at the time. They had moved on account of getting a cheaper rent. Our rector, his wife and the young curate went to see them, and between us we broke down the barrier of pride and Iielped to make their lives brighter until the two boys got into work again, which they did with the rector's help. After Joseph's death, William sometimes spent an evening with us, and he and my brother became friends. I found him very well-informed and high- principled, though not by any means what you would call a well-educated man. He was a machinist. His father had learnt his business and had risen to be a foreman in the same foundry to which attention has been called. His mother was a doctor's daughter, who had married against the wishes of her friends, and at her husband's death refused to be reconciled to them on the terms offered to her, and at the time I became 214 THE HEAD KEEPER. :\ I acquainted with them her parents were both dead She was a very gentle little woman, and very often spent a day with me. One of her granddaughters lived with her and attended my Bible-class She became so very much attached to me that I hardly ever went home from my district but I met her some- where on the road, when she invariably walked with me to the little garden-gate in front of our house Thus things went on for about a year. The foundry was m running order and the people were more inde- pendent, and it was quite easy to tell in some cases though not all. those who came to me only for the loaves and fishes. Now came a critical time, in which I had to make a life's choice. It was between William, a working- man, on the one hand, and the Rev. W. H our young curate, on the other. I liked them both,'and found it very hard to make a choice. It was Wednesday evening, after the service My sister Annie was with me. Mr. H said, " I have to go to the Rectory to-night. You will not mind going home alone, will you V Annie, in her saucy way. said, " No, indeed ! If anybody runs away with her, they'll soon be glad to bring her back again " He smiled, and said, "Good-night. To-morrow I shall spend the evening with you, when I shall have I BECOME A BIBLE-WOMAN. 215 3otli dead, eiy often daughters lass. She I hardly lier some- ked with louse. i foundry ore inde- me eases, ' for the to make i^orking- , our oth, and ce. My ' I have )t mind r saucy ly with in." •rrow I 11 have an important question to ask." Our eyes met, and I knew what the question would be. For some time befoi-e this I had noticed that William had changed towards me— there was a something which at first I could not understand. Often when going from the district or from any of the meetings alone, I had a feeling as of being watched or followed. One evening, after nine o'clock, when going past the town hall, two so-called gentlemen, who had evidently taken too much to drink, thought to amuse themselves at my expense by asking if I had any tracts to give away or soup-tickets. One of them, a little more unsteady than the other, lurching to one side, pushed a little roughly against me, when sud- denly they were both seized by the collars, one went to the right and the other to the left, my hand was placed 0:1 William's arm, and we were soon some distance from the scene. We neither of us spoke until the garden, gate was reached. "Won't you come in?" I asked. "No, not to-night; but, remember, you must not come home alone any more. Good-night," and then he was gone. I then spoke of this to Harry. He told me that he knew William had been in the habit of followino- me I I! '■';i ' 216 THE HEAD KEEPEIl. "■t tt (listanco ever v.;,,,.,, +1, ■■ Wl.y I'd give, you Imlf ,„{„„, „f course " --^i^ou/ou-nri^ir"""' "^ Then Harry. boy-]iko, ,said, " Well snnnn.. Ma... w UO.MU, »u, ,„„ ,., ,,„,;,:-:— "Why, I would give her all I had " Then, getting up suddenly and saying "Good nid^f " ui going tor a soldier Hip hurl f^ ,. ^ volunteert and that • if ^°"°"'« fme been „ about it. '" """'"• "■" ■" «^»t t'-ouble I 1 l>e^un to liuiu wei-e ^>h1 I was en I over- iiot know T * I you had. »i What are with lose our ■t would -ni^ht," ids, and >ut one talking been a rouble 1 BECOME A niHLE-WOMAN. From sonic thin^rs she hatl said, and fr 217 oni a conver- sation witli his motfier, I found that he was deeply in love with me ; yet he felt that he could not tell me so, lest I should tliink it presumption ou his part and refuse him. Thus matters were on tlie Wednesday evening above spoken of, and I felt that I had only the one day in which to make my final choice. As I said before, I liked them both, but as I looked at the matter, and as I laid it before God, I felt that Mr. H could do without me, and that William could not. I felt that he was, and had been for sonie time, leaning on me. He was going forward shortly for confirmation, and I knew that I had been permitted to help him to a decision. Thus I made up my mind to refuse Mr. H , and after repeating one of our beautiful collects, viz., " Prevent with Thy grace and follow after with Thy blessing," I fell asleep, fully believing that I was doing as God would have me do. Three months from that time I took William for better or for worse ; and I may here say that I think I should do the same if I had my time over again. The forepart of the first year of our married life was not very eventful, but about three months before its close, my brother and a friend of his were deter- mined to go to Canada. His friend— Walter Ross y 218 *ve will call h would ,H,t ^.ive her eon.se i'"-wu,s ^voatly vexod that 1 wore plan II in ' he sa'd «.e 4 Toro'r!: "'" T ""' """ "■"' "^ f™"'' old Leeds 2 T "^^^^^ "'" ""^ " P''^" ^ g'»d are that" H.ZToIZ '""T'' ""^"-^^^ w.Heri>adMred..u„„.«:r:L'r::r-' I lii.s motluT that they little Ulk lis mother vo became ad that I that they 3 for their ne of the 1868. ^ he said he found B as good luse you ad hired md that ;he same landed, f CHAPTER XIII. OFF TO CANADA. "In all tliy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. "—Prov. iii. 6. " I lift my eyes ; the clouds grow thin, I see the blue above it ; And day by day this pathway smoothes, Since first I learned to love, it." I NEED hardly .say that I missed my boy very mtich, and I think William did, for he was so often in a brown study after we received the letter ; and when- ever I rallied him, he had always something to say which proved that he was thinking of him About a week after— it was Sunday morning, I remember— he said, " I guess the boys are having a jolly time out there. Did you post the letter ?" I said, " Yes ; I wonder how soon we shall hear from them again ?" 220 THE HEAD KEEPER. Would yon reallv lit T ' ^ ""'*" "«" ? only the eho„,M of yonLZ Z^Z „ '/^ sug-g-esting ifc." ^P^ "^^ from " i'oor motlier," Jie soul " t i bad at parting ,. ^u Y , 7 "^ '^^ "°"'<' ^-^ u 1 "t;"ig nis mother and Anr.;« ou mother. ' ^"^ *^^^ ^are of his We landed at Quebec on the llfh f o . I begin to feel od '' ^ ^ ""' 'P"'^'^- Head Keel ^" "''"^'"8 on, but tlie great ^taa deeper is ever near u. u ^ ^ kept my husband nn U «v! "' ""^ ""'^ «" took him home His . ^'™ ''^°- «° ">» ■»y-lf the Question ,r ''^''- ' ''^^« -"^^d 'luestion sometimes. •• Did God bring „s OFF TO CANADA. on, he said, them." nean that ? I? If you )u. It Was 5t me from would feel she would farewells, ^nie. She we were he would f8 of his ptember, ty-seven married spared, e great and He e then ! asked ring us 221 out here ? and if so, why ? Has he not always a reason for what he does?" I believe so; and then comes the thought, " Have we fulfilled his purpose ? " We cannot answer, but this we know, He may allow us to mar and disfigure the work He gives us to do. He may permit us to hinder the work, even as to the conversion of a soul, but to trust a soul to us that we could lose it, never ! But, what a thought ! How many souls we shall find in heaven which, humanly speaking, had been given to us to save ! We have passed them by; we have missed our opportunities. My husband was amongst those who went out survey- ing for the Canadian Pacific Railway. I have heard him speak of an Indian dying, and he was the only one who could talk to him (the poor fellow spoke such broken English.) He always thought, however that he was a comfort to him at the last, and that he made him understand something of the Saviour's love. Was this his wx)rk ? Who can tell ? More or less I have worked for the Master here, as I did at home How much of it was hay and stubble, or how much was pure, we shall not know until the great day ! I love Canada and the people of Canada. I have met kind friends everywhere, and as I am getting this simple story of an everyday life published in ;i i { !' i 222 THE HEAD KEEPER. / -~X:lz :re..tr.-r have preached «.t U l '^ denomination preached on the subject It 11 ''"™™ throe minate. pastTur a L T f"" "' *"^"'^- -'ent prayer, that we 2,^ L^ rZT "' company with people of I ; e^e '""f " " England having „ade arrangement "oHtto h"" "' atfo„ro-cloekbythes„nwLever,Br^V. r^ was to be found. *'* ■'""«'=<" On tlie 22nd doubtless no place in .11 ,u Empire was without its speciafr- • ^'■'*' don the sight m„,t . T "'•'°"""g«- !■> Lon- « signt must have been wonderfi.l a as five o'clock- ir, iu„ ■ ""laertui. As early had become a flood White^ T" '''''""■» White carnations, red . -OSes and OFF TO CANADA. 223 blue cornflowers were the order of the day. Every window, every roof, every church-steeple had its occupants. We read of loud cheering when the Colonial Premiers, Sir Wilfred Laurier at their head drove by in state, followed by a tremendous pro- cession. Every nation was represented, and at last came the Queen herself, and we read that a cheer broke forth that seemed to shake the ground, renewed again and again. The scene at St. Pauls must have been very imposing, by the description we read of it. It was, indeed, a gala day for all, and in remembrance of it the very poorest in all that great city were fed. For once in their lives they had a good dinner. One very pretty thing I must not omit. The Lady Mayoress of London, attended by her daughters, met the Queen on her way to St. Paul's at the Mansion House, and presented Her Majesty with a gorgeous bouquet of orchids in a silver filagree basket, on which was engraved "To Her Majesty, Queen Victoria presented by Helen Fandeb Phillips, Lady Mayoress" We are told that the Queen said, twice over, " I am deeply grateful," as she gave her hand. And now it is over. We have seen our Queen as she wa^ aroused from her slumbers to be told she was a queen. We have heard her voice as she asked i I 1 I 1*fr I, thh I'll! i ■ 224 THE HEAD KEEPER. theA_,-ehb«hop,to pr.y for hev. Wo have «eon he,- not!' " r """ '""■ "^ " f'""'f«' -«^ -d h" V "'■'''" ™'"- *"'' ^ «y-Patl-ing friend. He. .„fl„e„ee, who can measure c- judge a. to its greatness for good I One little incidenr I read of comes to me. and may not be out of place here. It was told by a missionary in Africa. A great chief who would not hear of his women wearmg clothes such as Europeans wore, was shown a p.ture our Queen, and he is reported as .saying, I wont let them wear clothes to please the mission a.-y, or because of the Bible, but if the Queen of bngland wishes it, then they may" May God keep her safe until He shall see fit to take her mto His everlasting arm.,, is the prayer of a very huinble yet faithful subject. Now I will gather up the threads of this little history. I do not know whether my father is living or not • we have completely lost sight of him. Lizzie we never heard of; I think she must be dead. Indeed most of the friends mentioned have dropped out o^ my life, and here in the newer country I have made tresh ones. I cannot finish without drawing your attention to one thought which comes to me and takes n,e back ^ve seen lier t to be dis- u] wife and izing friend, ge as to its t I read of 2e here. It his women was shown as saying, he mission- i Queen of see fit to )rayer of a -vill gather ng or not ; Lizzie we Indeed, •ed out of ave made bention to me back OFF TO CANADA. 225 to my old home in Highgate, and to the tract dis- tributor, when Hhe spoke of the grandeur of our Churcli service, our glorious liturgy, and of the happy thought that friends so far apart could worship in the same holy words, and the one common faith the great Saviour of mankind; and, dear readers, it is to me now a precious thought. As I look back over the years I remember that I was given to God in my baptism, made a member of Christ, a child of God and an inheritor of the kingdom of Heaven. Thanks to my dear Sunday School teacher, at an early acre I was reminded of this, and taught to ask God for myself that He would make and keep me His for ever. In simple faith I asked Him to do this, and so tar He has done it, through all the changes and chances of life. He has kept me. Will He fail me now? my I I think not. He will, for His part, most surely keep and perform those promises which He has made. But, dear reader, do not think that with the end of this little history came the end of tempta- tions and shortcomings. No, no, though I am twenty-nuie years older since com. . to Canada, and in some thnigs perhaps twenty-nine years wiser, yet 1 am just as needy as ever where the grace of God is concerned. But I know that He. havinc. given " His son," will "also with Him freely give us all things" 15 " ■ \ 11 22G THE HEAD KEEPER. He being our great Head Keeper we are safe. " He who keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep." Although this is only a simple story of an every- day life, I ihink, as you read it, you will see that it brings out one truth very clearly, namely, that as God's children we are being saved, and that it takes a lifetime to prepare us for the inheritance of the saints in light ; also that our preparation is marred and hindered by our perverse wills. Another truth is very evident. Those who watch pro . idence will see how it surrounds the children of God and governs every movement of their lives. Watchman, what of the night ? is the question with which my story is headed. One o'clock and a rainy morning, rang out the voice of the watchman, was the earliest recollection with which I began it.' An hour later the same voice rang out, two o'clock and a cloudy morning, as I closed my eyes to sleep until the bright sunshine awoke me next day. Rain, clouds, sunshine, our portion through life, literally, temporally and spiritually. As a child I loved God's precious word, and tried to follow its teaching literally, and I did, to a certain extent, in a childish way do so. I knew all the old stories, such as Abraham offering his son Isaac, Joseph with his coat of many colors, David who slew Goliath, as well OFF TO CANADA. 227 as tlie beautiful parables of the New Testament, and the life of the One who went about doinc. good. And I studied with much interest the rites and cere- monies of the Jewish law. When at Highgate I took great delight in spirit- ualizing. I enjoyed the prophecies and the epistles and was always glad to get some new thought' During the last ten years I have made great progress in the study of the Word, and yet there is more to learn. I feel to-day that not one-half has ever been told of all its wonderful truths ; ,so, dear reader let me conclude by begging of you to search the Scrip- tures to see if these things be so. What thino-s ? The things I have been trying to make plain to you namely, that the God who made us also redeemed us, and He is keeping us and will, if we will let Him sanctify us wholly so that we may rest in Him. "Sound Uie alarm, let the cry go forth Swift as the wind o'er the realms of earth ; Flee to the Rock, where the soul may hide'; Flee to the Rock, in its cleft abide."