^aH ->. ^.^, IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) A C^/ .%f 4r :^".£. /* ^""^ ^'i' fe %^ y. •^ fA 1.0 I.I 1^ - iiS ill 10 j.8 14 IIIIII.6 V] ^/r ■'ci^l '^ ^?1 ^ % > ■/A ^'jS ''W o / Photographic Sciences Corporation 73 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. MSCO (716) 873-4503 '^ ,v V V 6^ rv '%" 4r . (meaning "CON- TINUED "), or the symbol V (meaning "END "), whichever applies. Un des symboles suivants apparaitra sur la dernidre image de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — »> signifie "A SUIVRE", le symbols V signifie "FIN". Maps, plates, charts, etc., may be filmed at different reduction ratios. Those too large to be entirely included in one exposure are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, as many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre film6s d des taux de reduction diffdrents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour dtre reproduit en un seul clich6, il est film6 d partir de Tangle supdrieur gauche, de gauche d droite, et de haut en bas, en pranant le nombre d'images n6cessairo. Les diagrammes suivants illustrer deface by Presid reface by J. M. J dtroduction : Life i's Hand in Mi Jis Early Life— F version and R Ministry— Pres and of the Cir lis Education for th pinning of his Mis: Micts, Delays, and year at Kaunaumee Tribulations and 1 Kaunaumeek on a ers upon a mission his Missionary laboi 'aware, in a letter ol "onderful Work of ( Brainerd's Joumal- I Forks of the Delawa Inord's Remarki in th Pa. ^Ip*' TABLE OF CONTENTS. Uace by President Edwards. Hace by J. M.Sherwood. ntroduction ; Life anrJ nu ^^•sHa„di„Mti:„s^''^""^^«^B-nerd. lis Early Life-First R r • ^"APTER j. UnngofhisMissionaryCareerr''''?'''"- I '"'"""^^'^^^"'^-3 of North America. . inflicts, Delays and fi , .• ^"-^^TER iv. I ^"''^"^'^"^ settling down to Work. Page. • V xr xxiii Jii .^i 35 46 57 ters CHAPTER VI 104 wonderful Work of C ■ ^"^^^^^ ^71. «--rd's Jou™,-?„?ere;.in: ^r"-^.— Publication of the First P , Forks of the Delaware-A^?*' ^-"''ces-Revival Scenes-A J ''^ "' elaware-A Strange Character-Precious Initherir^^ ': ''^ ,^^ f---en..^in.HeE,traoratw::rc;L.c y Work of God'sGrace among these Indians. ,,, CONTENTS. :\ CHAPTER IX. \ '*'^* Efforts to Kft a Schoolmaster to instruct the Indians— Continuance of the Cood Work at CrosswecksmiK— Rode more than three thousand miles in a few motnhs in visitiuK different parts of his l-'ield-Succussful attemiUs to teacii the Assem- bly's Shorter Catechism to liie Indians— Amazing Changes wroufiht in one Year ill tliu Cliaracter of these Indians CHAPTER X. Some Remarkable Cases of Conversion during the great Revival. CHAPTER XI. Brainerd's General Remarks on the work of grace at CrosswceksunR-" Attesta- tions" of its genuineness and power from other sources CHAPTER XII. Final staRc of Krainerd's Missionary Work— Visits the Susriuehanna, and up among the Delawarcs— Returns to Cranberry very much prostrated— Continues his Work in great bodily Weakness and Suffering CHAPTER XIII. Parting with his beloved Missionary Flock— Returned to New England— Invited by President Edwards to his home— Long and severe illness in Boston— Final Ksturn to Northampton— Last sickness and death— Funeral Services wards . , ano 25< 2b! *V -Sermon by Ed- CHAPTER XIV. President Edwards' Personal Estimate of Brainerd. 30J 344 There and virtue cept, the o dantly used grounds, n clearly exhi cise and pn forced in i have many > and practice Old and Ne Jesus Cj came to be ' force true n been done t In his doctri and will of G which bccom circumstance bibiting the but he also ir ample of the the world sue love, discree ignation, fort benevolence, angels ever s£ God also i use of both t] kind, and indi 3^r^ PRKSIDKNT EDWARD'S PREFACE TO TIIIC ORIGINAL EDITION. There are two ways of recommending true religion and virtue to the v/orld ; the one, by doctrine and pre- cept, the other by history and example. Both arc abun- dantly used in the holy Scriptures. Not only are the grounds, nature, design, and importance of religion clearly exhibited in the doctrines of scripture — its exer- cise and practise plainly delineated and abundantly en- forced in its commands and counsels — but there we have many excellent examples of religion, and its power and practice set before us in the histories both of the Old and New Testament. Jesus Christ, the great Prophet of God, when he came to be " the light of the world," — to teach and en- force true religion, in a greater degree than ever had been done before — made use of both these methods. In his doctrine, he not only declared more fully the mind and will of God — the nature and properties of that virtue which becomes creatures of our constitution, and in our circumstances, and more powerfully enforced it by ex- hibiting the obligations and inducements to holiness ; but he also in his own practice gave a most perfect ex- ample of the virtue which he taught. He exhibited to the world such an illustrious pattern of humility, divine love, discreet zeal, self-denial, obedience, patience, res- ignation, fortitude, meekness, forgiveness, compassion, benevolence, and universal holiness, as neither men nor angels ever saw before. God also in his providence, has been wont to make use of both these methods to hold forth light to man- kind, and inducements to their duly, in all ages. He VI PREFACE TO THE ORTCTXAL EDlTrON: It has from lime to time raised up eminent teachers, to ex- hil)it and hear testimony to the truth by their doctrine, and to oppose the errors, darkness, and wickedness of the world ; and he has also raised up some eminent per- sons who have set bright examples of that religion which is taught and prescribed in the word of God ; whose ex- amples have, in the course of divine providence, been set forth to public view. These have a great tendency botli to engage the attention of men to the doctrines and rules taught, and also to confirm and enforce them ; es- pecially when these bright examples have been exhibited in the same persons who have been eminent teachers. Hereby the world has had opportunity to see a confir- mation of the truth, efficacy, and amiableness of the re- ligion taught, in the practice of the same persons who have most clearly and forcibly taught it ; and above all, when these bright examples have been set by eminent teachers, a variety of unusual circumstances of remark- able trial ; and when God has withal remarkably distin- guished them with wonderful success in their instruc- tions and labors. Such an instance we have in the excellent person whose life is published in the following pages. His ex- ample is attended with a great variety of circumstances calculated to engage the attention of religious people, especially in America. He was a man of distinguished talents, as all are sensible who knew him. As a minister of the gospel, he was called to unusual services in that work; and his ministry was attended with very remark- able and unusual events. His course of religion began before the late times of extraordinary religious commo- tion; yet he was not an idle spectator, but had a near concern in many things that passed at that time. He had a very extensive acquaintance with those who have been the subjects of the late religious operations, in places far distant, in people of different nations, educa- tion, manners, and customs. Me had a peculiar oppor- tunity of acquaintance with the false appearances and counterfeits of religion ; was the instrument of a most remarkable awakening, a wonderful and abiding altera- tion and render tii< In th( cpportunil cumstanc( jjcrson, an] to his extc heart. Hn perienced which that! tinned ; ani frames, tho manv vicis; He will during a lo proach of ligion in th( ing written, sure to com erately to vi far what is i and the Wo I am h exercises or imperfectior perfect exan is, therefore and the dis must be con were followe There is the followinj an imperfeci imperfection made an obj of religion a jections age favor of true was, by his ( PREFACE TO THE OKIGTXAL EIUTION, Vll tion and moral Iratisformation of subjects, who peculiarly render the charge rare and aslonisliing. In the following account, the reader will have an opportunity to see, not only what were the external cir- cumstances and remarkable incidents of the life of this person, and how he spent his time from day to day, as to his external behavior, but also what passed in his own heart. Here he will see the wonderful change he ex- perienced in his mind and disposition ; the manner in which that change was brought to pass ; how it con- tinued ; and wiiat were its consequences in his inward frames, thoughts, affections, and secret exercises, through many vicissitudes and trials, for more than eight years. He will also see his sentiments, frame, and behavior, during a long season of the gradual and sensible ap- proach of death ; and what were the effects of his re- ligion in the last stages of his illness. The account be- ing written, the reader may have opportunity at his lei- sure to compare the various parts of the story, and delib- erately to view and weigh the whole, and consider h()W far what is related, is agreeable to the dictates of reason, and the Word of God. I am far from supposing, that Br-inerd's inward exercises or his external conduct, were free from all imperfections. The example of Jesus Christ is the only perfect example that ever existed in human nature. It is, therefore, a rule by which to try all other examples ; and the dispositions, frames, and practices of others, must be comm ded and followed no further than they were followers c*^ Christ. There is one thing in Brainerd, easily discernible by the following account of his life, which may be called an imperfection in him, which, though not properly an imperfection of a moral nature, yet may possibly be made an objection against the extraordinary appearances of religion and devotion in him, by such as seek for ob- jections against everything that can be produced in favor of true, vital religion ; I refer to the fact, that he was, by his constitution and natural temper, so prone to O I > ft Z 3 VI 11 PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITfON. melancholy, and dejection of spirit. There are some who think that all rclijjjion is a melancholy Ihin^ ; and that what is called Christian experience is little else be- sides melancholy vapors, disturbing the brain, and excit- ing enthusiasitic imaginations. But that Brainerd's temper or constitution inclined him to despondency, is no just ground to suspect his extraordinary devotion to have been only the fruit of a warm imagination. All who have well observed mankind, will readily grc.nt that many of those who by their natural constitution or temper, are most disposed to dejection, are not the most suscep- tive of lively and strong impressions on their imagina- tion, or the most subject to those vehement affections, which are the fruits of such impressions. Many who are of a very gay and sanguine natural temper are vastly more so ; and if their affections are turned into a reli- gious channel, are much more exposed to enthusiasm than many of the former. As to Brainerd, notwithstanding his inclination to despondency, he was evidently one of those who usually are the farthest from a teeming imagination ; being of a penetrating genius, of clear thought, of close reasoning, and a very exact judgment ; as all know who knew him. As he had a great incight into human nature, and was very discerning and judicious ^n general ; so he excelled in his judgment and knowl- edge in divinity, but especially in experimental religion. He most accurately distinguished between real solid piety, and enthusiasm ; between those affections that are rational and scripture: — having their foundation in light and judgment — and those that are founded in whimsical conceits, strong impressions on the imagina- tion, and vehement emotions of the animal spirits. He was exceedingly sensible of men's exposedness to these things ; how much they had prevailed, and what multi- tudes had been deceived by them ; of their pernicious consequences and the fearful mischief they had done in the Christian world. He greatly abhorred such a reli- gion, and was abundant in bearing testimony against it, living and dying ; and was quick to discern when any- PREFACE TO THE ORTGI\'AL EDITION^. IX thing of that nature arose ; though in its firr«t buddings, and appearing under the most fair and plausible disguises. lie had a talent for describing the various workings of tliis imaginary enthusiastic religion — evincing its false- ness and vanity, and demonstrating the great difference between this, and true spiritual devotion — which I scarcely ever knew equalled in any person. His judiciousness did not only appear in distinguish- ing among the experiences of others, but also among the various exercises of his own mind ; particularly in dis- cerning what within himself was to be laid to the score of melancholy in which he exceeded all melancholy persons that ever I was acquainted with. This was doubtless owing to a peculiar strength in his judgment, for it is a rare thing indeed, that melancholy people are sensible of their own disease, and convinced that such things are to be ascribed to it, as are its genuine opera- tions and fruits. Brainerd did not obtain that degree of ckill at once, but gradually ; as the reader may discern by the following account of his life. In the former part of his religious course, he imputed much of that kind of gloominess of mind, and those dark thoughts to spiritual desertion, which in the latter part of his life he was abundantly sensible were owing to the disease of melan- choly ; accordingly he often expressly speaks of them in his diary, as arising from this cause. He often in conversa- tion spoke of the difference between melancholy and godly sorrow, true humiliation and spiritual discretion, and the great danger of mistaking the one for the other, and the very hurtful nature of melancholy ; discoursing with great judgment upon it, and doubtless much more judi- ciously for what he knew by his own experience. But not to argue from Brainerd's strength of judg- ment merely, it is apparent in fact, that he was not a person of a warm imagination. His inward experiences, whether in his convictions or his conversion, and his religious views and impressions through the course of his life, were not excited by s^-rong and lively images formed in his imagination ; nothing at all appears of it in his diary from beginning to end. He told me on his PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. death-bed, that although once, when he was very young in years and experience, he was deceived into a high opinion of such things — looking on them as superior at- tainments in religion, beyond what he had ever arrived at — was ambitious of them, and earnestly sought them ; yet he never could attain them. He moreover declared, that he never in bis life had a strong impression on his imagination, of any outward form, external glory, or any thing of that nature ; which kind of impressions abound among enthusiastic people. As Brainerd's religious impressions, views, and af- fections in their nature were vastly different from en- thusiasm ; so were their effects in him as contrary to it as possible. Nothing, like enthusiasm, puffs men up with a high conceit of their own wisdom, holiness, eminence, and sufficiency ; and makes them so bold, forward as- suming, and arrogant. But the reader will see that Brainerd's religion constantly disposed him to a most humble estimation of himself, an abasing sense of his own sinfulness, unprofitableness, and ignorance ; looking on himself as worse than others; disposing him to uni- versal benevolence and meekness ; in honor to prefer others, and to treat all with kindness and respect. And when melancholy prevailed, and though the effects of it were very prejudicial to him, yet it had not the effects of enthusiasm ; but operated by dark and discouraging thoughts of himself, as ignorant, wicked, and wholly un- fit for the work of the ministry, or even to be amcng mankind. Indeed, at the time just mentioned, when he had not learned v/ell to distinguish between enthusiasm and solid religion, he joined, and kept company with some who were tinged with no small degree of the former. For a season, he partook with them in a degree, of their dispo- sitions and behaviors ; though, as was observed before, he could not obtain those things wherein their enthusiasm itself consisted, and so could not become like them in that respect, however he erroneously desired and sought it. But certainly it is not at all to be wondered at, that a youth, a young convert, one who had his heart so swallow- ed up in religion, and who so earnestly desired its flourish- PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION XI ing state — and who had so little opportunity for reading, observation, and experience — should for a while be daz- zled and deceived with the glaring appearances of mis- taken devotion and zeal ; especially, considering the ex- traordinary circumstances of that day. He told me on his death-bed, that while he was in these circumstances, he was out of his element, and did violence to himself, while complying in his conduct with persons of a fierce and imprudent zeal, from his great veneration of some whom he looked upon as better than himself. So that it would be very unreasorible that his error at that time should nevertheless be esteemed ajust ground of prejudice against the whole of his religion, and his character in general ; especially considering how greatly his mind Wris soon changed, and how exceedingly he afterwards lament- ed his error, and abhorred himself for his imprudent zeal and misconduct at that time, even to the breaking of his heart, and almost to the overbearing of his natural strength ; and how much of a Christian spirit he showed, in condemning himself for that misconduct, as the reader will see. What has now been mentioned of Brainerd, is so far from being a just ground of prejudice against what is re- lated in the following account of his life, that, if duly considered, it will render the history the more serviceable. For by his thus joining for a season with enthusiasts, he had a more full and intimate acquaintance with what be- longed to that sort of religion ; and so was under better advantages to judge of the difference between that and what he finally approved, and strove to his utmost to promote, in opposition to it. In his testimony against it, and the spirit and behavior of those who are influenced by it, he also speaks from impartial conviction, and not from prejudice ; because he thus openly condemns his own former opinions and conduct, on account of which lie had greatly suffered from his opposers and for which some continued to reproach him as long as he lived. Another imperfection in Brainerd, which may be observed in the following account of h's life, was his be- ing excessive in his labors ; not taking due care to pro- .■A. \\ xu PREFACE TO THE ORWINAL EDITION. 1 portion his fatigues to his strength. Indeed, the case was very often such, by the seeming calls of Providence, r.s niacle il extremely difficult for him to avoid doing more than his strength v^ould vveil admit of ; yea, his circum- stances, and the business of his mission among the In- dians, were such, that great fatigues and hardships were inevitable. However, he was finally convinced, that he had erred in this matter, and that he ought to have taken more thorough care, and been more resolute to withstand temptation to such degrees of labor as injured his health ; and accordingly warned his brother, who suc- ceeds him in his mission, to be careful to avoid this error. l?esides the imperfections already mentioned, it is readily allowed that there were some imperfections which ran through his whole life, and were mixed with all his religious affections and exercises : some mixture of what was natural, with that which was spiritual ; as it evermore is in the best saints in this world. Doubtless natural temper had some influence in the religious exer- cises and experiences of Brainerd, as it most apparently had in those of David and Peter, of John and Paul There was undoubtedly very often some mixture of mel- ancholy with true godly sorrow, and real Christian hu- mility ; some mixture of the natural fire of youth with his holy zeal for God ; and some influence of natural principles, mixed with grace in various other respects, as it ever was and ever will be with the saints, while on this side heaven. Perhaps none were more sensible of Brainerd's imperfections than himself; or could distinguish more accurately than he, between what was natural, and what was spiritual. It is easy for the judicious reader to observe, that his graces ripened, that the religious exercises of his heart became more and more pure, and he more and more distinguishing in his judg- ment, the longer he lived. He had much to teach and purify him, and he failed not to make his advantage. Notwithstanding all these imperfections every pious and judicious reader will readily acknowledge, that what is here set before him, is a remarkable instance of true PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. XI 11 and eminent piety, in heart and practice — tending greatly to confirm the reality of vital religion, and the power of godliness ; — that is most worthy of imitation^ and in many ways calculated to promote the spiritual benefit of the careful observer. The reader should be aware, that what Brainerd wrote in his diary, out of which the following account of his life is chiefly taken, was written only for his own private use ; and not to obtain honor and applause in the world, nor with any design that the world should ever see it, either while he lived, or after his death ; except a few things which he wrote in a dying state, after he had been persuaded with difficulty, not entirely to suppress all his private writings. He showed himself almost invincibly averse to the publishing of any part of his diary after his death ; and when he was thought to be dying at Boston, gave the most strict peremptory orders to the contrary. But being, by some of his friends there, prevailed upon to withdraw so strict and absolute a prohi^ tion, he was finally pleased to yield so far, as that " his papers should be left in my hands, that I might dispose of them as I thought would be most for God's glory, and the interest of religion." But a few days before his death, he ordered some part of his diary to be destroyed, which renders the ac- count of his life the less complete. And there are some parts of his diary here, left out for brevity's sake, which would, I am sensible, have been a great advantage to the history, if they had been inserted ; particularly the account of his wonderful success among the Indians ; which for substance, is the same in his private diary with that which has already been made public in the journal he kept by order of the society in Scotland, for their information. That account, I am of opinion, would be more entertaining and more profitable, if it were published as it is written in his diary, in connexion with his secret religion, and the inward exercises of his mind, and also with the preceding and following parts of the story of his life. But because that account has been published already, I have therefore omitted that GO J I > z 3 xiv PREFACE TO THE ORIGINAL EDITION. part. However, this defect may in a great measure be made up to the reader by the pubHc journal.* But it is time to end this preface that the reader may be no long- er detained from the history itself. Jonathan Edwards. whhTi^ A- "'*''*' from the Journal here referred to, were for the first time incorporated Cs'o'f^h?'^JLent^eI1S!.U M.^sT" ^^'^•°"' P"^"^'^^'» '" '««' whirK^SJ li """mmmmm PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. The beginning of the eighteenth century was an epoch in the history of modern missions. The Danish Mission to India was organized in 1714, and continued to do efficient work until the close of the century, when Rationalism undermined its roots. The Moravians, or United Brethren, also began early in the century their wonderful missionary career, and have not ceased their energetic efforts down to the present day. They have sent out nearly 2,300 missionaries, of whom more than 600 are still in the field. In Germany a^^d England the good work was also begun quite early L\ the century. In England the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts was founded in 1701, but did very little until the v;pening of the present century. It gave some attentioi* to the Indians and the Negroes of the American Colonies. The Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge was more active. Collections for it were taken up even at court, and George I showed his in- terest in the work by writing a cordial letter to Zieyen- balg and Griindler, leading missionaries. In Edinburgh a Scotch Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge was founded in 1 709, and also a Corporation for the Propagation of the Gospel in New England. It was the former of these Scotch societies that employed David Brainerd and several other missionaries to labor among the Indian tribes of this New World ; and the latter — --K XVI PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION, aided in the support of Jonathan Edwards among the Stockbridge Indians. About the year 1740, several distinguished ministers in the city of New York and its vicinity, among them, Ebenezer Pemberton, of New York, Aaron Burr, of New- ark, and Jonathan Dickinson, of Elizabcthtown, communi- cated to this society " the deplorable and perishing state of the Indians in the provinces of New York, New Jer- scy, and Pennsylvania." In consequence of this repre- sentation, the society agreed to maintain two mission- aries among them, to convert them to Christianity ; and in pursuance of this design sent those gentlemen, and some others — both clergymen and laymen, a Commission! to act as their Commissioners, or Correspondents, " in j providing, directing, and inspecting the said Mission." Thus empowered, these Commissioners immediately! looked out for two candidates for the ministry, whose zeal for the interests of the Redeemer's kingdom and compassion for perishing souls would prompt them to| such an exceedingly difficult and self-denying under- taking. They first prevailed with Mr. Azariah HortonJ to relinquish a call to an encoruaging parish, and to del vote himself to the Indian service. He was directed to Long Island in August, 1741, at the east end of whichi there were two small towns of Indians ; and, from thel east to the west end of the island, lesser companiesl settled at a few miles distance from one another, for the! distance of about one hundred miles. At his firstl arrival he was well received by most, and cordially wel- comed by some of them. Those at the east end of thel Island, especially, gave diligent and serious attention tol his instructions ; and many of them were led to ask thel solemn inquiry, "What they should do to be saved } " i\| •Preface of the" PREFACE OF THE I'RESENT EDITION. xvu general reformation of manners was soon observable among most of those Indians. The spiritual results of his ministry were truly remarkable. Just how long he labored among them, and what were the total fruits, we have no authentic record. *' It was some time after this, before the Corres- pondents could obtaiii another missionary. At length they prevailed upon David Brainerd to refuse several invitations to places where he had a promising prospect of a ccmiortable settlement, to encounter the fatigues and perils which must attend his carrying the Gospel of Christ to these poor, miserable savages."* Brainerd was examined and approved as a missionary by this Commission in the city of New York, and assigned to his field of labor. He began his work at Kaunaumeek, an Indian settlement between Stockbridge and Albany, and subsequently labored among the Indians of New Jersey and Pennsylvania. At the request of the Society in Scotland, he regu- larly forwarded to them a copy of his journal, which contained a succinct account of his missionary work. [That society published extracts from this journal in two parts; the First in 1746, commencing with his resi- dence at Crossweeksung ^June 19, 1745, and ending [Nov. 4, 1745), under the title : " Mirabilia Dei inter Indicos ; or the rise and Pro- Igrcss of a remarkable Work of Grace, among a number of Indians, in the Provinces of New Jersey and Pcnnsyl- Ivania: justly represented in a Journal, kept by order lof the Honorable Society in Scotland for Propagating [Christian Knowledge, with some General Remarks ; by 9 S ♦Preface of the "Correspondents" to Brainerd's Letter to Pemberton. XVlll PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION. 11 David Braincrd, Minister of the Gospel, and Mission- ary from the said Society." The second part (Nov. 24, 1745 to June 19, 1746) was pubHshed in the latter part of that y^ar ; and was entitled : " Divine Grace Displayed ; or the Continuance and Progress of a remarkable Work of Grace among some of the Indians belonging to the Provinces of New Jersey and Pennsylvania ; justly represented in a Jour- nal, kept by order of the Honorable Society in Scotland for Propagating Christian Knowledge ; with some Gen- eral Remarks ; by David Brainerd, Minister of the Gospel, and Missionary from the said Society." These two parts have always been called '* Brain- erd's Journal ; " and were published during his life. Brainerd died at the house of Dr. Jonathan Edwards, at Northampton, Mass., October 9, 1747, leaving all his papers in his hands (a portion of his diary he had previously destroyed) " that he might dispose of them as he thought would be most for God's glory and the interest of religion." Of these the most valuable was the account of his early life, which we give entire, and the original copy of his diary. From these authentic records President Edwards prepared a Life of Brainerd — chiefly in Brainerd's own words — which was published in Boston in 1749, with the following] title : "An account of the Life of the Late Rev. David | Brainerd, Missionary to the Indians, from the Hon, Society in Scotland for the Propagation of Christian I Knowledge ; and Pastor of a Church of Christian! Indians in New Jersey ; who died at Northampton, October 9th, 1747, in the 30th year of his age. PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION, XIX " Chiefly taken from his own Diary, and other private writings, written for his own use; and now published by Jonathan Edwards, A. M., Minister of the Gospel at Northampton." Edwards' Life of Brainerd did not include his " Journal," which had already been published abroad, in two parts, under the auspices of the Scottish Society which employed and supported him. In 1822, a new memoir was prepared by the Rev. Sereno E. Dwight, D. D., a great-grandson of Jonathan Edwards, embracing, in addition to the matter contained in the original " Life," the whole of Brainerd's " Journal," together with his Letters and other writings, and Re- flections on his Memoirs, by President Edwards. This "complete" Memoir was published at New Haven, in 1822, and afterwards included in the works of President Edwards, in ten octavo volumes, edited by the same author, and published in New York in 1830. This complete Memoir is now entirely out of print, and is accessible only in Public Libraries, and in con- nection with the ten volume edition of Edwards' works. The present edition is based on Dwight's edition, and is equally full and complete, except that it omits the Sermons of Pemberton and Edwards (except that which bears directly on Brainerd), and occasional lines thrown in by the Biographer, where he omitted some entries in the Diary, to indicate the fact and the drift of the omitted parts. Portions of the Memoir have been slightly revised and condensed by the present Editor, chiefly for literary reasons ; a few Notes have been added on points of historic interest, and also an Introductory Chapter on the Life and Character of Brainerd. And, in addition, like- wise, a stirring Essay on God's Hand in Missions, written XX PREFACE TO THE PRESENT EDITION, at our special rcc|ucst by the Rev. Arthur T. Pierson, D. D., whose vigorous anc; eh)quent pen has often done efficient work in the great Missionary enterprise of the nineteenth century. The whole is commended to the blessing of the Great Head of the Church, with the earnest prayer that this humble effort to elevate the standard of personal conscciation to Christ, and to revive and extend an in- terest in that Cause which is " The Glory of the Age," may not be wholly in vain. If the reader shall find that intense interest and spiritual quickening in reading these Memoirs that the writer has experienced in revis- ing them (having first read them forty years ago), he will thank him for calling attention to them and making them again accessible. Brooklyn, /««(f, 1884, James M. Sherwood. miini INTRODUCTION THE LIFE AND CHARACTER OP DAVID BRAINERD, By J. M. SHERWOOD. Wi LIFE As the tory and ej EKD was s ,lfe I finitesimal lil ■ hamlet in : nial depen( Hi I disposition, worldly am 1 ■ of a few Ini New York, his thirtiet events of hi any respect i .1 He was was not ver empire. h literary fam( of which hei sentative mi character of principles, o crucified," ai desire for Go on the Chris LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. As the lives of men are written down in human His- tory and estimated by the world, the life of David Brain- ERD was singularly uneventful and insignificant — an in- finitesimal factor in human existence. Born in a little hamlet in New England, living in the period of our colo- nial dependence and obscurity, modest and humble in disposition, educated in a very quiet fashion, without worldly ambition, devoting his brief life to the welfare of a few Indians scattered over the wilderness districts of New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania, and dying in his thirtieth year — there was nothing in the outward events of his life to attract attention, or make his life in any respect noteworthy in the eyes of mankind. He was not a genius, nor an orator. His scholarship was not very remarkable. He laid no foundations of empire. He made no discoveries. He achieved no literary fame. And yet young Brainerd had that in him of which heroes and martyrs are made. He was a repre- sentative man of the truest and noblest type. His is a character of such saintliness, of such lofty aims and principles, of such intense loyalty to •' Christ and him crucified," and of such all-absorbing love for souls and desire for God's glory, that it has left a lasting impression on the Christian Church, and his name will travel down «" XXIV LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. the centuries, hallowed in the memory of the good, and regarded as one of the brightest stars in the constella- tion of Christian worthies. David Brainerd is a household name to-day wherever exalted piety is revered, or moral worth is cherished, or a heroic and self-sacrificing spirit is honored. Although his life was brief, it was long enough to take on an im- mortal impress ; to develop a character, a purpose, a richness of experience, a fervor of spirit, and a longing after holiness and usefulness, as grand and majestic, as rare and glorious. The gift he laid upon Christ's altar was a priceless gift ; and the Divine Master has honored and blessed it, to enrich the faith, and stimulate the zeal of those who came after him. The short life of the " Mis- sionary of the Wilderness," spent in teaching a few ignorant savages the way of life, has already borne abun- dant fruit to the glory of God, and will continue to do so to the end of time, as few lives have done or will do. '-'■ Being dead he yet spcakcthr Through the silence of nearly one hundred and fifty years he is speaking to- day, with trumpet tongue, words of almost matchless power ; speaking also by example, by his " Diary," and "Journal," and " Letters," recording in simple words his religious experiences from day to day — his hopes and fears, his joys and trials, his self-reproaches and longings after a higher life — speaking to our young men in college and seminary and in the several professions, and to those just entering upon life's work in the gosi)el ministry — speaking indeed to the Church at large, urging the claims of dying millions, and the obligations of redeeming love. Little did the solitary, and often lonely and despond- ing missionary, ruminating in his wigwam or log hut in the forest, which his own hands had built, sleeping on his pallet of straw, or on the floor, or out in the woods, liv- ■,:„y tJUTOngiiM LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. XXV ing; on poor and scanty food, often sick and suffering, with "none to converse with but poor rude, ignorant Indians"; wrestling with God and with his own heart day and night, and writing down in his journal an account of his inner life and daily work ; — little did he dream that that life, whose surroundings were so unpromising, whose scene of la- bor was so secluded, and whose errors and shortcomings cost him so many regrets and bitter tears, would carry light and conviction and stimulus all over Christendom and down the centuries. But so it has proved. Brain- erd's Memoirs have ueen read and wept over for almost one hundred and fifty years, by Christians of all lands and creeds and conditions ; and they are as full of Christian life and power to-day as when Jonathan Edwards gave them to the press in 1749. It is certainly one of the most wonderful auto-biographies extant. No better manual of Christian experience has ever been given to the world, bating the vein of morbid melancholy which runs through it. No loftier example of Christian heroism and conse- cration to the v/ork and purpose of Christianity has been held up since the apostolic age. His life has been a potent force in the grand missionary movement of mo- dern times. Reading the life of Brainerd decided Henry Mar cyn to become a missionary and "imitate his example." William Carey likewise received a powerful inspiration from the same source. Jonathan Edwards, the greatest theologian of his times, had never appeared in the role of a " missionary to the Stockbridge Indians," had he not come into intimate contact with the seraphic spirit of this missionary apostle and martyr, for such he truly was. Thousands and tens of thousands of Chris- tians in America and Europe, and all over the mission- ary v/orld, have had their piety deepened, their faith quickened, and their spirit of consecration fanned into a XXVI LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. Ill flame, by reading the wondrous record of this man's life and Christian ex|3erience, whose brief ministry was spent among the Indians of the American wilderness. Let us study carefully the brief life, and analyze the remarkable character of Brainerd, that we may learn the secret of his great power and abiding life in the Church ; learn what there was in his religious character and experience which lifted him immeasurably above his age and surroundings, the conditions and incidents of his being, and identified him with the conflicts and triumphs of the Church in all times, and placed him among the foremost characters in religious history. As we have already intimated, the annals of his life were few and simple. He was born of pious and respect- able parents ; of good Puritan stock. He was left an orphan at fourteen. He was cared for by kind Christian friends. He entered Yale College, but was expelled after two years and before graduation, for a trifling offence. We shall notice this further on, for it was an act of cruel injustice, and had a marked influence on his character and whole future life. He pursued his theo- logical studies in a private way with a pastor, as theo- logical seminaries were not yet established. He was licensed to preach at the age of twenty-six. Declining several urgent invitations to settle in New England, and a highly flattering one from Long Island, he deliberately and solemnly devoted himself to missionary work among the Indians, scattered among the several colonies. And having once put his hand to the plow, he looked not back, but gave himself, heart, and soul, and mind, and strength, to his chosen mission, with unfaltering purpose, with apostolic zeal, with a heroic faith that feared no danger and surmounted every obstacle, and with an earnestness of mind that wrought wonders on savage lives ind broke do grave. We ca h"fe he li^ look at tl lived and ^ It calls missionary spread and in the Chu distant fiek them, the s^ brotherhooc groups, and zation, with ing and dee] l^raying for i ing dignity, ( work. But how Brainard a modern missi i"g in the A faith in ther ' either in publ [sentiment ca (pagan world. to the suppo I necessary to [which he um jwas a little f( Scotland, — too LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. XXVI I lives '^nd whole communities, but which in four years broke down his health and consigned him to an early grave. We cannot appreciate the choice he made, the kind of life he lived, or the work he accomplished, unless we look at the times and the circumstances in which he lived and wrought. It calls for no great sacrifices, in our day, to be a missionary to the heathen world. There is now a wide- spread and grand missionary spirit and sentiment existing in the Church. Thousands have gone forth to labor in distant fields. The eyes of the Christian world are upon them, the sympathies and prayers of the great Christian brotherhood follow them. They go for the most part in groups, and carry home, and Christian society, and civili- zation, with them. They know that behind them, watch- ing and deeply interested in them, sustaining them, and praying for them, are great National Societies, thus giv- ing dignity, character and importance to their missionary work. But how different was the case with reference to Brainard and his tmies. It was before the birth of modern missions. Christian missions had then no stand- ing in the American Church. There was little or no faith in them, No prayers were offered for them, either in public or in the closet. There was no public sentiment calling for missions to the heathen and pagan world. Not a dollar was contributed or pledged to the support of missionaries. The few hundreds I necessary to Brainerd's support in the mission [which he undertook, came from over the sea. It was a little foreign society, organized in Edinburgh, Scotland, — too far away to extend effective sympathy to XXVIU LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRA/NERD. its distant missionary — that undertook to " hold the ropes " while he made the venture. So little missionary interest existed in this country that even seventy years afterward when the first American missionaries were sent out to foreign parts, the money needed to defray ex- penses was sought in England. And then Brainerd had to undertake and carry on the work literally alone ; he had no associate or helper. Although authorized by the Society to employ " two mis- sionaries," the Comrr.ission, which acted for it, could find but one — so little interest was then felt in such a work. One young man, solitary and unsupported, went forth into the wilderness, in obedience to the Saviour's great command ; and there with his single hands laid the foundation of Christ's kingdom in that field ! It was an act of sublime heroism ! He touchingly alludes, at times, to his " loneliness " — only Indians to associate with — no one to speak to in English, or commune with — wholly destitute of the comforts of civilized life — the only white in a community of savage Indians, and many days' journey remote from a white settlement. His only mode of travel was on horseback, through dense and trackless forests ; often obliged to " sleep out in the woods," exposed to dangers and hardships of every kind, often weary and sick, dejected and cast down. But never wavering in his purpose, never regretting his choice ; incessantly at work, preaching, catechizing the Indians, moving among them like an angel of light, pleading with them in the name of Christ, and pleading their cause against greedy and unprincipled whites, who sought to corrupt and rob them (as is so often done in our time) as he had opportunity, and ceasing not his arduous and self-sacrificing labors for their temporal and spiritual welfare, until his strength was finally ex* LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. XXIX hausted and his life worn out. Then, by slow and pain- ful journeys, he made his way back to his native New England to die ! Surely, whatever may b^ the case at present, there was no "romance" in missionary life in such an age, among such a people, in such surroundings, amidst such repul- sive scenes and conditions of physical and social life. His, then, was not the dream of a visionary enthusiast. Had it been, his zeal would quickly have abated, and the enterprise been abandoned. But instead of being dis- gusted or disheartened by the terrible experiences which he encountered, he rose superior to them all, and prose- cuted his mission with the zeal of a Paul, and made his life a " living oblation." His work grew in interest and love and dignity to the last. And when, finally, health and strength utterly failed him, under a constant strain upon his physical and mental energies amidst severe pri- vations and hardships, it cost him the bitterest pangs to cease his work and turn his back upon his " dear Indians " and abandon the field. And he ceased not his prayers and efforts in their behalf, so long as life remained in him. Through the subsequent months of severe sick- ness, and while lying on his death bed, his Indian mis- sion was continually on his mind. Again and again was he heard to plead with God for its continued prosperity. His efforts also to interest his friends in it were unceas- ing ; and he would not rest until he had induced his brother John, whom he " loved the best of any being on earth," to take his place and prosecute the great work which he had been compelled in the providence of God to relinquish. That Brainard rose above the spirit of his age — for the spirit of Evangelism is the measure of the Church's XXX LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. f life — and taking his life in his hands, alone and single- handed, went forth into the wilderness to preach Christ to savage tribes, and was permitted to witness among and upon them astonishing displays of God's converting grace — demonstrates the high order of his faith in God, and of his consecration to the great work of the world's salvation. No eulogy can exalt such a man. The simple story of his life proves him to be one of the most illustrious characters of modern times, as well as the foremost mis- sionary whom God has raised up in the American Church — one whose example of zeal, self-denial and Christian heroism has probably done more to develop and mould the spirit of modern missions and to fire the heart of the Church in these latter days, than that of any other man since the apostolic age. One such personage, one such character, is a greater power in human history than a finite mind can calculate. His Character. An analysis of his character it is not difficult to make, for the leading traits or qualities of the man stand out in bold relief and challenge our observation and admi- ration. The first thing that impresses the reader of Brain- erd's life is the genuineness and depth and thorough- itess of his personal piety. We see at once that there is nothing superficial, transient, doubtful, half-hearted about it. We are brought into contact with a Christian charac- ter, and a Christian experience, and a Christian life, most rare and extraordinary in many of their elements and features. There is something startling and awe-inspiring in the depth and intensity of his religious "frames" and *' exercises," as recorded so frankly and faithfully in his LIFE AXD CHARACTER OF BRA/NERD. XXXI diary, running through several years, with no expectation that any eye save his own and God's would ever read them. " He belongs to a class of men," as one has well said, " who seem to be chosen of Heaven to illustrate the sublime possibilities of Christian attainment — men of seraphic fervor of devotion, and whose one, overmaster- ing passion is to win souls for Christ, and to become wholly like him themselves." The Law made thorough work with him. His sense of the evil, guilt, and awfulness of sin, of his own deep moral corruption and desert of God's wrath, his personal unworthiness, and entire dependence on Divine grace, and his constant need of the Holy Spirit to cleanse, enlighten and sanctify, was most profound and ever present with him. He could not find language strong enough to express his hatred of sin and desire to be en- tirely and forever cleansed and delivered from it. He longed and strove after holiness, after complete victory over sin and the world and the devil, after entire con- formity to the will and likeness of Christ, with a strength and intensity of soul that seems almost superhuman. 2 His consecration to tJie Master's sennce tvas, seem- ingly y entire and snblimc. Not since the apostolic age has the Church produced a grander illustration of the power of the Gospel to subdue human selfishness, and the love of ease and pleasure and self-indulgence, and to make Jesus Christ supreme, " all and in all," in the affections and life of the soul. Like Paul, he made a total surrender of every faculty and power of body, soul and spirit, to the Divine Son of God, and at the same time an unreserved, absolute consecration of his life and being to Hi.s ser- vice. He could not love and serve God enough. He was jealous of his own heart and life, lest he should not render XXXll LIFE AND CHARACTER OF DRAINERD. every day and hou r a full measii re of love and labor. He kept nothing back. From the time he gave himself to Christ, he devoted his life and strength and attainments and acquirements and opportunities to the work of saving souls, without recreation, without cessation, sparing him- self in no particular ; serving God to the full extent of his ability, and even beyond. The amount of work he did was almost incredible. He broke down his consti- tution in four short years, by exposure, privation, and labors of every kind ; literally wore his life away in the cause of his blessed Master. It is affecting in the highest degree, to read the entries in his journal from day to day, of what he did, what he attempted, what he longed to accomplish ; and, in the midst of his incessant labors, to hear him bemoan his shortcomings, his bar- renness of spirit, his unfruitfulness, and pray God to forgive him his unfaithfulness and grant him a new bap- tism of love and zeal. Here is a specimen : — " Here I am, Lord, send me; send me to the ends of the earth ; send me to the rough, the savage pagans of the wilderness ; send me from all that is called comfort in the earth ; send me even to death itself if it be but in thy service and to promote thy kingdom." And it was no ascetic or misanthrope that wrote thus, for he adds : — " At the same time I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of earthly blessings as I ever had, but only saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Christ's kingdom. Farewell friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of them all ; the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it: adieu, adieu ; I will spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if the kingdom of God may thereby be advanced. He was affianced, as is well known, to a youthful saint, of rare gifts, the youngest daughter of Jonathan Edwards ; and such a pure, intelligent and sensitive nature as his, would have enjoyed, in an eminent degree, the felicity of domestic life. But he sacrificed even this. LIFE AND CHARACTER OF liRAINERD. xxxiii and plunged alone into the wilderness and passed his years with savages, that he might win them to Christ. The little patrimony left him, he also devoted to the education of a poor and promising young man for the ministry, soon after entering upon his missionary work. 3. His love for souls amounted to a passion, ivJiich nothing could cool or conquer. No miser ever clung to his treasure as he grasped this idea and made it an ever present and supreme object with him. No matter where he went, or what were his surroundings, the ruling bent of his soul was manifest. In health and in sickness, in his wigwam among the Indians, on his numerous and solitary journeys, from settlement to settlement in the wilderness, and in his occasional visits to New England, his supreme desire was to convert souls ; and no occa- sion, no opportunity, did he fail to improve, however weary or racked with pain, or weak or broken down from disease. This intense, ever burning passion often finds expression, as when he writes in his diary : "O how I longed that God should be glorified on earth. Bodily pains I cared not for, though I was then in extremity. I never felt easier ; I felt willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress, so long as he pleased 1 should continue in it. The grave appeared really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it : but O that God might be glorified ! this was the burden of all my cry. O to love and praise God more, to please him forever ! this my soul panted after, and even now pants for while I write, O that God might be glorified in the whole earth ! Lord let thy kingdom come ! . . . O the blessedness of living to God ! . . . Spent two hours in secret duties, and was enabled to agonize for immortal souls, though it was early in the morning and the sun scarcely shone, yet my body was quite wet with sweat. . . With what reluctance did I feci my- self obliged to consume time in sleep ! I longed to be a flame of fire, con- tinually glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ's kingdom to my latest, my dying moment." Is it any marvel that many souls — even the souls of such ignorant and degraded savages — were given to S \m xxxiv L/FE AND CHARACTER OF BRATNERD. m Jill him ? And he never regretted his devotion and self- sacrificing zeal in this work. Read his thrilling words, as he hung over eternity while in Boston. " I declare now I am dying, I would not have spent my life other- wise for the whole world." 4. His humility and spirit of self-denial ai d cheerful submission to deprivations and hardships for the Gospel 's sakcy are touchingly illustrated in his life. According to President Edwards* testimony, he was a young man of "distinguished talents ; " "had extraordinary knowledge of men and things ; " had " rare conversational powers ;" " excelled in his knowledge of theology, and was truly, for one so young, an extraordinary divine, and especially in all matters relating to experimental religion." " I never knew his equal of his age and standing, for clear and ac- curate notions of the nature and essence of true religion." His '* manner in prayer was almost inimitable, such as I have very rarely known equalled." He " had a very ex- tensive acquaintance, and engaged the attention of re- ligious people in a remarkable degree." He had also many invitations to settle in his own New England, and an urgent and oft-renewed call to " East Hampton — the fairest, pleasantest town on Long Island, and one of its largest and wealthiest parishes." So that he did not give himself to the missionary work, as is often, though unjust- ly, said of other missionaries in these days, because he could not succeed at home. His talents, gifts, and Christ- ian attainments made him the peer of New England's most gifted preachers, with few exceptions. But he put from him all these tempting offers, and all considerations of a merely personal and temporal na- ture, and gave his whole self for life to the work of teach- ing the poor American Indians the way of salvation. And he had no thought that he was doing anything won« LIFE AND C//AK Alter of liKAINEKD. XXXV ierful, or that he was degrading himself, or throwing Lay his talents and life by so doing. On the contrary, je evidently felt that God had greatly honored him in tallin;; him to such a service ; and he consecrated hid ieart and soul and mind and strength and life to it, with Is much heartiness and enthusiasm and ambition as [hough he were ministering to a highly cultured people |n some conspicuous and wealthy parish. So real and f;reat was his humility that he often cx- )rcssed his surprise that he was called to such a noble Icrvicc ; that the Indians should have any respect for im, or show him any attention, or that any good should ^ome from his labors. His privations and hardships like- rise were such as few missionaries have ever experi- jnccd. An extract or two will serve to introduce the reader to his mode of life : " My diet consists mostly of hasty-pudding, boiled corn, and bread |)ake(l in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter. My lodging a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards a little way from the ground, or it is a log room without any floor, that I lodge in . . . I have now lode more than 3,000 miles [on horseback] since the beginning of March 18 months] . . . Frequently got lost in the woods . . . At night odged in the open woods . . .. crept into a little crib made tor corn |nd slept there on the poles." And yet not one word of complaint do we hear. Even In his times of extreme melancholy and dejection, and [hey were frequent ; when sick and racked with pain ; i'hen lonely and disconsolate, not one breath of murmur ises to Heaven. His forest home was often a " Bochim," |)r as the " valley of Baca," as it respected the outward lan and his surroundings. And, yet, even then and [here, like Jesus after the temptation of the wilderness, ingels comforted him and his soul often exulted, while \t magnified the God of his salvation, " who giveth longs in the night." xxxvi LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. I 5. He exemplified the law of Christian meekness an(\ forgiveness in a preeminent degree. The unusual attenl tion which his extraordinary career and saintly characterl attracted, at home and abroad ; the sympathy and inl terest manifested in him by many of the most eminent ministers of his day, among whom were Jonathan Edl wards, Bellamy, the Tennants, Pemberton, Aaron Bun] and Jonathan Dickinson, and the high esteem in whidl he was held by the Christian world, especially towards the close of his life, did not tend in the least to elate! him. On the contrary — as in all cases of real and erai nent worth and superiority — it only tended to makcl him more humble ; it induced Christian meekness, an(i| filled him with a proiound sense of his unworthiness. The! expressions of this feeling in his journal are frequent,] emphatic, and evidently sincere. In all the annals of human life and experience, except! ing those of the God-Man, we have no more striking ej] ample of Christian forgiveness than the life ^Braineri| furnishes. Take a single particular. He was wronged ; wronged as few men in similar ci:| cumstances, ever were wronged. He was wronged bJ a public institution ; wronged before the world ; nay, i'| is not uncharitable to say that he was persecuted, io suited, outraged — and all redress refused, and that againsll the united, solemn, and earnest protest of such men ail President Edwards, Burr, Dickinson, Pemberton, aiij many others of the most distinguished men of the timeil He was wronged in a way to mortify and humiliate an| injure a young man of his ambition, and talent and geif uine manliness and high Christian character and stani ing, to the utmost possil^le extent. The wrong was /H sisted in, with iron determination and relentless severitfJ LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD, xxxvU even after he had made the most manly and Christian ac- knowlcdgment and confession tlial it was possible for the college authorities to exact, or a gentleman, respecting his own manhood, truth and righteousness, could consist- ently make. And that he felt the wrong exquisitely, and smarted under it, and carried the memory and the scar of it to his grave, his diary affords abundant and affecting proof. This ill treatment, at his tender years, had much to do with his dejection at times. It preyed upon his sensitive nature. He felt as if a brand was placed upon his forehead. Most of all he mourned over it, because he thought rcli- I gion suffered in consequence of it. No one can read the entries made in his journal during his visit to New Haven a year after his expulsion, at the time when he would have graduated but for that unjust procedure — afraid to show himself in the town for " fear of imprison- ment" — hiding away in. the house of a friend in the out- skirts of the town, as if "guilty of some open and noto- rious crime," and there spending commencement day in prayer and sweet converse with Christian friends — and not feel his heart rise in rebellion against that stern and unrighteous decree which on that occasion crushed his last hope of redress ! Earnest application was made on his behalf to the authorities of the college by a "council of ministers at Hartford," and by T^dwards, Burr, and many other distinguished men in the various colonies, that he luight be allowed to take his degree with his class. But all in vain. Yet here is the entry he made in his diary in this bitter hour of disappoint- ment: " Sept 14. This clay I ought to have taken my degree ; [this being Com- mencement clay] but God sees fit to deny it to me. And though I was greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion, when XXXviii LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAFNERD. H'lliiiifil I should see my classmates take theirs ; yet, at the very time, God eJ ablcd me with calmness and resignation to say, * the will of the Lordlnl done.' Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my minJ so calm, sedate, and comfortable, for some time. I have long feared ty season, and expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignatioJ would be much tried ; * but found much more pleasure and divine comforj than I expected. Felt spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in prJ vate prayer with a dear Christian friend to-day." But notwithstanding the wrong done him was so| great, and was so obstinately persisted in to the last; notwithstanding he suffered in his feelings as onlyal man of such exquisite natural and moral sensibilitiesi could suffer, not once was he known to speak harshly oil unkindly of those who had committed the injury. Not! a line is found in hir dia v alluding to the matter thall breathes other than r jj^.it of Christlike charity andl forgiveness ; while he was fervent and frequent in hisi prayers in behalf of those who had " so ill used him.'' The same spirit that cried out from the cross, " Father,! forgive them, for thy know not what they do," animated the heart of this youthful disciple while living, and t(>| day encircles his brow with a halo of Christlike glory. 6. But the crowning excellency of Brainerd zvas tk\ large measure of the spirit of Prayer which characterizm his life. Prayer was his chief re^' ce, and the secret of his remarkable success. Much o . -s time was spent in prayer. Days and nights were 1 = tr passed ; and he grieved when anything interfered to keep him from his| knees in solitary and prolonged intercession andcommun ion with God. Closely in this respect did he follow in| the footsteps of Jesus. Prayer was his solace, his inspi- ration, his strength. No part of his diary or journal is! of more thrilling interest to & y and every Christian * Had he been allowed to graduate, he would ''■:. > Leen at the heaJol his class, and | that class the largest that had ever graduated at that college. «' Had the life. At noon, dear Lord, in a i nothing but ho could give me tl myself, and to b in God most of i this day. At nig my soul. Oh, w blessed God, bi ever, that I may and in prayer G< soul that I could sweet Saviour ! < and there is non sand lives, my s< been with Chris' I longed to be v posed to commi absent brother, kingdom might him for what he of the travail of quickly I Ame Is it wont experiences social and / markable d this point is thai I ever s .ii**»-*4-' Si***'**' »i': LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD xxxix worker, either in the home or the foreign field, than the numerous entries in relation to his seasons of secret prayer. Few saints, this side of heaven, ever got so near to the throne of God in prayer ; ever so " wrestled with the angel of the covenant ; " ever experienced such communion with the Father of spirits until his soul ex- ulted and overflowed with the fulness of " ineffable com- forts." — Read a specimen or two : — " Had the most ardent longings after God, which I ever felt in my life. At noon, in my secret retirement, I could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew I desired nothing but himself, nothing but holiness ; that he had given me these desires, and he only could give me the things desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swallowed up in God most of the day . . , Felt much comfort and devotedness to God this day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with God, and pour out my soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweetness of communion with the blessed God, but those who have experience of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste heaven below . . . Retired early for secret devotion, and in prayer God was pleased to pour such ineffable comforts into my soul that I could no nothing for some time but say over and over, O my sweet Saviour ! O my sweet Saviour ! whom have I 'n heaven but thee, and there 5s none upon earth that I desire beside thee. If I had a thou- sand lives, my soul would gladly have laid them all down at once to have been with Christ . . . My soul was this day at turns sweetly set on God; I longed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly dis- posed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. O, that his kingdom might come in the world, that they might all love and glorify him for what he is hi himself, and that the blessed Redeemer might * see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied I Oh come. Lord Jesus, come quickly! Amen." Is it wonderful that such a habit of prayer, and such experiences in prayer in the closet, should have made his social and public prayers edifying and striking in a re- markable degree.-* President Edwards' testimony on this point is very explicit and noteworthy : '* / know not that I ever so much as heard him ask a blessing or return xl LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. tJiauks at tabic, hit there was something remarkable to be observed both in the matter and manfier of the performanecl' Prayer, in secret and personal communion with God, will temper the whole spirit of a Christian, and put its im- press upon his social and public habits. If you witness habitual fervency, and fullness, and power, and a wrest- ling spirit in prayer, on the part of any disciple, you may be sure the habit has been acquired in secret intercourse with God upon his knees. Prayer is not so much a gift as a grace, implanted, nourished and matured in long and intimate communion with the Hearer of prayer. The end of such a life, as we might anticipate, was peace and joy — peace in fullness of measure, and " joy unspeakable and full of glory." A glance in his dying chamber reveals the fact that it was "quite on the verge of heaven." Says President Edwards: — " On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time, as if he were dying. At which time he was heard to utter, in broken whispers, such expressions as these : ' He will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be in glory. I shall soon glorify God with the angels.' . . . The extraordi- nary frame he was in that evening could not be hid. His mouth spake out of t'^e abundance of his heart, expressing in a very affecting manner much the same things as are written in his diary. Among very many other extraordinary expressions which he then uttered, were such as these : ' My heaven is to please God and glorify him, and to give all to him and to be wholly devoted to his glory ; that is the heaven I long for— that is my religion, and that is my happiness, and always was ever since I suppose I had any religion : I do not go to heaven to be advanced but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I shall be sta- tioned in heaven — whether I have a high or a low seat there, but to love and please and glorify God is all ; if I had a thousand souls, if they were worth any thing, I would give them all to Gud. It only remains that we touch upon the matter of young Bkainerd's expulsion from Yale College and vin- dicate his memory from the aspersion cast upon his good LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRATNERD. xh name by that high-handed measure. Sure we are that no unprejudiced mind, possessed of the facts of the case on which the act was based, as carefully stated by Pres- ident Edwards, and also by Brainerd himself, in his journal and letters, can come to any other conclusion than that the College authorities erred in expelling him in the first instance, for so slight an offence — erred in inflicting the severest academical punishment in their power for a word spoken in confidence to two or three col- lege mates and intimate religious friends, with no mali- cious intent ; that they erred again in refusing to accept his very humble and penitent confession, and restore him to his standing ; erred the third time by their strange and relentless persistency in refusing the request of a large number of the most distinguished clergymen in the col onies, that Brainerd might be allowed to take his degree with the class from which he was expelled the year before. Had his alleged offence been tenfold more serious than it was, we cannot see how their conduct in this instance could be justified, especially in view of the peculiar circumstances of the case, and the fact that the offending party had made a prompt and manly acknow- ledgment. But the offence in fact was a trifling one, and one that the offended tutor and the faculty of the college ought not to have laid to heart or made a serious fuss over. If the authorities of Yale, or of any other college in the land to day, should expel a student for such an offence, a cry of shame and indignation would ring throughout the land. „:._ v. - The offence consisted of two particulars : The first a hasty and foolish re. nark, reflecting on the piety of one of the tutors, made in priv^ite to two or three fellow •\\ xlii LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAFNERD. ;H:i students, and overheard and reported by another student who happened to overhear it. The other item was in going to a rehgious meeting in the town when the co] lege had forbidden attendance on such meetings. Thai was tJie zvhole of tJie offence. It seems scarcely credible to us in these days. The last item must be ruled out. For no college rulers had a right, legal or moral, to enact such a rule. It was a high-handed assumption of power, and was a fling at the promoters of the great religious revival which then agitated and divided New Haven, and many other parts of New England. And whether the other offence — the words applied to tutor Whittlesey— were true or false, there was, as all must admit, a great deal to excuse or palliate the offence in the spirit and oc- currences in the life around him at the time. A great religious movement was then on foot. White- field, and other apostles of the New Evangelism, had fired the hearts of multitudes. Excitement ran high. The revival had shaken the town of New-Haven, and the mass of college students had come under its power. Brain- ERD among the rest, who entered into the work with all the intensity of his earnest nature. " Ministers of long stand- ing," and churches without number, were divided in re- gard to these " New Lights," as they were called. Ex- travagancies and evils, according to President Edwards' testimony, mixed with much that was good. A censori- ous spirit was rampant. Whitefield himself publicly judged and denounced ministers of standing and experience, and many leading churches, also for their supineness or opposition ; so much so that the pastor of Northampton, while sympathizing with the movement and throwing the great weight of his example and preaching in favor of it, deplored the excesses of in- LIFE AJVD CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. xliii temperate zeal, and specially exposed and condemned the censorious and self-righteous spirit which character- ized a portion of its promoters : even Whitefield him- self he censured and personally rebuked ! Surely, when old and staid ministers, ministers of learning and piety and recognized standing in the country, were led away for the time being from the meekness and sweet gentleness of Christ, and in speech and manner, in preaching and praying, implied that all who were not of their way of preaching, and praying — all who cast not out devils after their fashion — all who failed to enter heartily into their measures, or who dared to oppose them, — were hypocrites or graceless professors, the young, inexperienced and zealous sophomore, who had caught the contagion and entered into the excitement, and who took an active part in the revival, which changed the character of the college and numbered many of its students among its converts, might have been pardoned the hot, thoughtless words spoken in private concerning the lack of piety in one of the tutors, who had just been "pathetically" praying before the students! What college law was broken ? What was there in the nature and extent of the offence to call for college discipline ? Were there not many palliating considerations in the times and in the circumstances of the case ? Would not a reprimand have been all that the offence called for ? On what principle of justice or fairness could they visit upon him, a student too of blameless virtue and exemplary piety, condign punishment and blast his future prospects and consign him to disgrace, so far at least as their ac- tion had effect ? Fortunately il did not seriously injure the character of Brainerd, even at the time, or lessen the high esteem in which he was held by his friends ; while it served to rally to his support many of the most xliv LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD, LIE eminent ministers of his time, and called forth pjrcat sympathy and interest in his career, not only over all New England, but also in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. And God so overruled the matter, that, beyond all question, it was one of the chief causes which led to the establishment of Princeton College. There is one point suggested by these memoirs that is worthy of careful consideration by all the friends of missions at the present time : it relates to the methods and the machinery of missiofiary operations, I do not propose to discuss this important and vital question here, but simply to note the example of this eminent Christian and missionary, and the results of his labors. Brainerd literally obeyed the ascended Lord. He went forth with the Bible only in his hands. He gave himself to prayer, and to the preaching of the word of God, to catechetical instruction, to direct efforts to con- vert souls and train them for Christ. He at once began to preach to these untutored, uncivilized, degraded barba- rians, the central truth of Christianity, the cardinal doc- trines of the Christian system — the very same doctrines which Jonathan Edwards then preached in Northampton, and which Dr. John Hall preaches to-day on Fifth Avenue in New York City : and he preached them with the same distinctness, and discrimination, and directness, and urgency, and application; and the same results followed ! He had to preach through an interpreter. He labored under a thousand disadvantages. But he honored God's word, God's method of saving sinners; and he preached and prayed with faith in the efficacy of the Gos- pel and the Holy Spirit's power ; and the effect, the fruit, was the same at Kaunaumeek, and Crossweeksung, and at the Forks of the Delaware, as at Northampton, and in New York City, and in primitive times. Have we of spiritual 1 idea and pra^ not making machinery, prominent .-* dency of sue ment, at the effect to wea cessity of energy "> Is wasted } anc Christ un cessities of of the Gos disciples to g how the dis they obeyed among Jews banans,and ir and him cruci into Christij Gospel. The and accessori any of these Church's effo ture is the sai world is essei into a totally to put civiliza place of the preaching^' s ances, and c( LI Ft:. AND CHARACTER OF liRAlNERD. xlv Have we not, in these days of weak faith and decay of spiritual life, departed quite too far from the apostolic idea and practice y in our missionary endeavors ? Are we not making organizations, schools, civilizing influences, machinery, and merely human devices, altogether too prominent ? Is not the natural, if not the inevitable ten- dency of such a policy, to unduly exalt the human ele- ment, at the expense of the Divine ? And is not the effect to weaken our hold on God ; to lessen the felt ne- cessity of prayer and the Holy Spirit's omnipotent energy ? Is not precious time lost ? are not energies wasted ? and is not the time of harvest delayed ? Christ understood perfectly the conditions and ne- cessities of the case, and the nature and adaptabisity of the Gospel to its end, wh'^n he commissioned the disciples to go and teach all nations. And we know how the disciples understood his message, and how they obeyed it ; their one uniform and universal method among Jews and Greeks and Romans, alike among bar- barians,and in civilized communities, was to preach Christ and him crucified, and to organize and gather the converts into Christian churches on the simple basis of the Gospel. They knew nothing about our modern theories, and accessories. We do not find the slightest trace of any of these modes or machinery in the primitive Church's effort to evangelize the world. And human na- ture is the same to-day ; and the condition of the heathen world is es.sentially the same. And yet we have drifted into a totally different method. We have come virtually to put civilization, education, preparation, before and in place of the Gospel. It is not " the foolislnicss of prcacJiingy' so much as it is the perfection of appli- ances, and constructive agencies, and civilizing forces, 5 Xlvi LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAFNERD. that is the Church's main reliance to-day for the evan- gelization of the world, both nominally Christian and heathen. The Indians to whom Brainerd ministered, were exceedingly ignorant ; their social and moral condition was of the lowest order. They were simply savages. And yet, the Gospel, as preached and expounded to them by this single young isolated missionary, whose heart was all aflame with the love of God, and who spent hours every day on his knees in prayer, was made mighty unto God for their salvation. The grace of God achieved in four short years among that degraded race, as signal and as glorious a triumph as it achieved under Whitefield and Edwards among the civili :ed and educated whites. No one can trace the history of God's converting and transforming grace at Kaunaumeek and Crossweeksung — note the operation of Gospel truth and of the Holy Spirit's influence on these ignorant and de- graded sinners — and especially such manifestations of power and grace as are recorded in chapter ten of these memoirs, and doubt for one moment the sufficiency of the Gospel in the hands of the Spirit of God, when wisely and faithfully preached, in faith and with impor- tunate prayer, to transform and elevate any people, how- ever depraved and degraded. O for the simplicity, the faith, the whole-heartedness, the reliance on the teach- ings of Christ and " the witness of the Spirit," which char- acterized the early Christians, and characterized the life of Brainerd ! The Church must yet come to this, or the " millenial " age, for which she has prayed and waited so long, will prove only a pleasing dream. May a renewed study of the life and example and achievements of this illustrious missionary help to bring it about ! — , — .,,-n.. LIFE AiVD C/fA FACTE R OF BRAINERD xlvii Brainerd, and his co-workers on the same field — Eliot, Horton, Sergeant and Edwards — really solved \for us the Indian problem ^ and we have been almost a century and a half finding it out ! Had the work which they began among and in behalf of the aboriginal tribes [of North America, been continued and prosecuted to its legitimate end ; had the policy which they clearly marked out and inaugurated in their treatment of the In- dian race — viz., honest dealing, evangelization, education, teaching the industrial arts ; had this Christian policy been recognized and pursued by the United States in their subsequent dealings with thcr.i — what untold millions of treasure had been saved the nation ! what bloody wars and frightful massacres had been averted ! The long dark record of injustice, cruelty, perfidy, treaty- breaking — the strong oppressing the weak, high-handed unrighteousness in the sight of Heaven and the civil- ized world — had not been written ! At length the truth, [which these missionary pioneers clearly perceived and [exemplified in their teaching and lives, begins to dawn upon the American mind ! The Gospel of Jesus Christ, [the church, the ministry, the school, Christian society [and civilization, are coming at length to be recognized IS the only forces and methods to settle this perplexing juestion, which has so long overmatched alike the wisdom )f statesmanship, the resources of military genius and )ower, and the humanities of philanthropy. We bless God to-day for such a noble life, for such a kaintly character, and for such an example of Christ- like sacrifice and toil in the glorious cause of human re- demption ! That life, that character, that example, are [;alling to us to-day — calling by the printed page i'hich perpetuates his wondrous, burning testimony — ■ i > 5 V) < ! i xlviii LIFE AA^ CHARACTER OF BRAFNERD. calling by those earnest soul-wrestlings and prayers, which God witnessed and heard in the American wil- derness five generations ago — calling by those displays of Almighty and regenerating grace whicii he was the occasion and the instrument of displaying among the heathen and savage tribes of this new world — calling by the tongues of prophets long dead ; by the sacrifices and the triumphs of modern missions, and by the hopes and expectations of the Church of God, to awake out o( sleep and take hold of the work of the world's conver- sion in dead earnest. The appeal is made to its, of this j generation, as truly as though an angel were flying through the midst of heaven, summoning the sacramen- tal host of God's elect to be up and doing ; to go up and possess the land ; to thrust in the sickle and reap ; to "stand and see the salvation of God." The prayer | of the Church for more than eighteen hundred years has b'^ : " Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on i earth .;. is in heaven." And the apocalyptic angel has joined in the grand chorus, " Even so come, Lord Jesus ! Amen." The souls under the altar, that were slain for the word of God, are crying: "Howl long, O Lord, holy and true .'' " The earth groan- eth and travaileth in pain for her redemption hour. The I nations which sit in darkness stretch forth their hands unto us and are struggling upward toward the light. There are signs, too, in the heavens, and commotions on the earth, and stately steppings of Almighty power and regenerating grace in the providential world, whicli plainly indicate that Christ the Lord is speedily coming | to take to himself his great power and assert his king- ship over all and establish his millenial reign on the] earth. The preparation of long ages is now completj LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINRRD. xli: Prophecy has closed its testimony. The promises are world embracing. Discipline, waiting, training, devel- oping, laying foundations, have had their day and done their assigned work. The time for action has now fully come — the time for a combined assault on the Kingdom of Darkness — the time for a grand aggressive movement all along the line. The trumpet is sounding to the charge ! In the name of the Lord of Hosts, lift up the banner of Righteousness and fling to the breeze the all- conquering standard of our Immanucl. Long since the Church had her marching orders : " Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature ! " Why hesitate .^ Why wait for other manifestations .•* Young men and maidens ! can you look on the stir- ring scenes which this world presents to you to-day — the world in which the Eternal Son of God has planted the Cross, the symbol of Omnipotent Love and Divine Sacrifice, by which He is to conquer and reign over a re- deemed universe — can you view these scenes and events and not long to participate in the glorious struggle and the glorious conquest } Ye Brainerds, and Henry Mar- tyns, and Careys, and Judsons, and Livingstones — ye Harriet Newells and Mrs. Judsons — this is the day for such as you to come to the front and assert your mission, and fire the heart of the sacred brotherhood I with flaming zeal and holy enthusiasm and a self-denying I spirit — the day to emulate the faith, the heroic spirit, and the sublime self-sacrifice of Paul and Peter and John land the other primitive disciples. We are approaching the close of the nineteenth cen- tury, and what a century it has been, especially the latter [half of it, in the way of change, development, progress, ichievement ! Stirring events are transpiring before us a > mm Z D OC < u I LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRATNERD. every day. Divine providence is writing history with a rapidity and on a scale of magnitude unparalleled in the past. And have these things no significance ? Have you no personal interest in them ? Is not God speaking in them all, to you, to me, to every disciple, with loud and solemn voice? Are not especially the jfoun^- ina] of this generation " brought to the kingdom " at a mo mentous crisis in the world's history? Is not human I life to day, measured by its opportunities, its responsibil- ities, its possibilities, worth a hundred lives in ages gonej by ? Did evera generation have such opportunities todis- tinguish itself in the grand march of human events ? Was I ever such a cry heard from so many lands, and from the isles of the sea — from India and from Africa, from China and Japan and Mexico — from so many races and nations and peoples and tongues — saying, " Come over and help] us," as now resounds throughout Christendom ? If we will not respond to these wondrous Providential I calls — these calls of the Spirit of God, these calls of a groaning and perishing world, going up day and night to heaven like the sound of many waters — we shaU be thrust I aside, and the kingdom, the work, the honor, and the vic- tory, will be given to another. For, converted to the I Lord Jesus Christ, this world will be. The Eternal God| . has purposed it. Prophecy has proclaimed it with a thou- sand tongues. Divine promises without number are the I pledges of it. All the instrumentalities and facilities necessary to its accomplishment have been made ready. All over the earth prayer is ascending for the hastening of the work. Christianity was never such a living| power in the world as it is to day, despite the unbeli and wickedness of the times. The Anglo-Saxon race— I the race of progress and dominion, the custodian of Christianity — »vhich numbered but 7,ckx),ooo when the - .■.^H.t^Bltii— ^- K'^'i^' ' LIFE AND CHARACTER OF BRAINERD. H Pilgrim Fathers replanted Christianity on these desolate [shores, numbers to-day icx),ooo,ooo, and is marching j on to universal supremacy; while the achievements of j the last seventy yeans in the missionary field, are on a I scale of grandeur unparalleled in the history of the Church, not excepting even the apostolic period. A few decades of years will decide the momentous issue ; will flood the earth with supernal glory, or witness the going down of the sun of human hopes in a night of darkness that shall have no morning ! B > 5 3 flc UJ H- ' . » fi .) ^ O ^ • T 1 Pi GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. ill By U4 ARTHUR T. PIERSON, D.D. 2 GOD' By 5JCIENCE, wonders thi of inorgan organic life the wonders bine the be cell ; not a shines with " Histor Dionysius luminous ex transfigurint alphabetical] illustrious in linked with t Eliot, Ellis, Goodell, Her Martyn, Mili kins, Riggs, : Williams, V graphics rea apostles, and and illustrate sions is the s To those GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. By the Rev. Arthur T. Pierson, D. D. Science, as nature's interpreter, can show us no greater wonders than the crystal and the cell ; one the miracle of inorganic symmetry, the other the mystery of organic life. But when God's Spirit reveals to us the wonders of Grace, he shows us holy lives, which com- bine the beauty of the crystal with the energy of the cell ; not a cold, imprisoned luster, but a radiance that shines with the living light of God. " History is philosophy teaching by examples," said Dionysius of Halicarnassus. David Brainerd is a luminous example of the spirit of missions, and of its transfiguring power in human character ; and he is alphabetically at the head of a noble army of martyrs, illustrious in missionary history. Plis name is inseparably linked with those of Burns, Bushnell, Carey, Dober, Duff, Eliot, Ellis, Edwards, Fiske, Grant, Gutzlaff, Gulick, Goodell, Henderson, Judson, Jessup, Livingstone,Lindley, Martyn, Milne, Moffat, Morrison, Mayhew, Newell, Per- kins, Riggs, Rhea, Stoddard, Scudder, Schwartz, Turner, Williams, Wolfe, and a host of others, whose bio- graphies read like new chapters in the acts of the apostles, and the logic of whose lives both demonstrates and illustrates this great truth, that the spirit of mis- sions is the spirit of the Master. To those who feel the force of the scripture appeal, i > S < 15 Ivi GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. all further argument for a world-wide Evangelism is needless. The Iron Duke called those last words of our Lord, " the marching orders of the Church,'' to be promptly and implicitly obeyed. But, when the positive precept of the Holy Scripture is buttressed by con- siderations of every sort, personal and social, temporal and spiritual ; when events add their unanswerable logic ; when the Pillar of God moves before the Church; what true disciple can longer hesitate! The mind must be overwhelmed with conviction, and the heart inspired with enthusiasm, in witnessing to a lost world ! Facts are the fingers of God. Although indifference is not always born of ignorance, there will be little zeal without knowledge. To awaken a deep passion for the universal and immediate spread of gospel tidings, believers must be brought face to face with those grand facts, which make the march of modern missions the miracle of these latter days. The watchword of every Christian life is, *'the obedience of faith," and such obedience depends upon knowledge of God's will. His direct command and the voice of an enlightened conscience are two permanent and perpetual sources of that knowledge ; but in the ladings of his providence and the teaching of his Spirit, we shall find two more sources, supernatural and confirmatory of the others, All of these combine and concentrate, as in one burning focal point of power, urging us onward to the outposts of civilization and the limits of human habitation, with the Word of life ! The Gospel is God's economy of grace for the ruined I race of man. Back of human sin is one fall ; and thi second Adam brings to man, as man, one rising again, one divine remedy, one generic redemption. Between those GOD'S HAND IN Af/SS/OA^S. Ivii lost souls and that pjreat salvation, there is one living link, the witnessing lips and lives of believers. Here then is the glorious work for the Church to do : being one with Christ by faith, love is so to link us to the lost as to make us a bond between him and them. What altar ever before so sanctified the gift ! The widow's mites, laid on that altar, are magnified and glorified as well as sanctified : they grow into shekels of the sanctuary, precious as gold, pellucid as crystal. And when self is laid on that altar of missions, those fires of God come down, which, instead of consuming, transfigure with celestial glory. In these days, out of the midst of the cloud, the vocal, moving Pillar of God's providence, sounds as loud a call as was ever heard by his people. It is the clarion voice of command, for an advance all along the lines. Not only do the precept and promise of our ascending Lord inspire us to service and sacrifice, but the trumpet signals of prophecy are echoed, enforced, emphasized by a new voice sounding in our ears, louder and clearer, every day, bidding us •' go forward ;" while the Pillar itself move's, and marks its course by actual conquest, advancing in the face of gigantic foes and obstacles, and leading on to complete triumph the little missionary band that have the faith and fortitude to follow. Our Lord's last command was joined to a promise of supernatural signs, a promise sealed by actual fullfil- ment in the early history of the Church. Because those signs ceased in their fullness and frequency, it has been assumed that they were limited in purpose as well as period. The Scriptures hint no such limits, and the notion of such limitation was 2iXi after thought, diXi apology for their cessation. ff 2: UJ Iviii GOD'S HAND TN MTSSIONS. We need not go so far to count for the disap- pearance of those early signs. If they were to be our Lord's seal and sanction upon the universal preaching of the Gospel, their decline may be sufficiently accounted for by the decay of evangelical faith, and especially of evangelistic zeal. Will it be said that there is no need now of marked Divine interpositions ? The primitive saints plead with God to grant them " boldness in speak- ing his word, by stretching forth his hand to heal " and doing " signs and wonders in the name of Jesus." There was never a day, when constant and convincing proofs of the supernatural were more needed than now^ to embolden us to meet worldliness and wickedness, materialism and naturalism ! And we believe that such supernatural signs abound in exact proportion to the measure of the response we yield to the command, " Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." To prove and illustrate this, is the object of this paper. Professor Christlieb unhesitatingly affirms that in the history of modern missions, " we find many wonderful occurrences which unmistakably remind us of the apostolic age." This statement is confirmed by the observation and experience of all who themselves fall into this grand march of missions, and keep abreast of these advancing lines. They have such a sense of Divine presence and guidance, as makes the pillar of cloud vivid and almost visible; they feel the inspiration of an Almighty Power, co-working with human weakness, and they seem at times to catch glimpses of the very Shekinah. Whatever may be said or thought of the genuineness of " modern miracles," one " everlasting sign" remains which, according to prophecy, " shall never be cut off." CO/r.S' If AND IN MISSION'S. Hx Isaiah says, " instead of the thorn shall come up the fir-tree, and instead of the brier, the niyrtlc-trce." The power of husbandry is shown in displacing noxious and offensive growths, by fair, fragrant, useful plants and trees. So God gives this unfailing sign and proof of supernatural power, that in the soil of the human soul and the broader fields of human society, he is now and always displacing hateful and hurtful opinions, motives and practices, by the lovely and glorious pro- ducts of his gracious culture. To this everlasting sign, then, as well as to the plain proofs of his moulding hand in the history of mission- ary advance, we may constantly and confidently appeal. Transtormations of personal character, and of entire peoples, by the power of his Gospel and Spirit, con- stitute the everlasting sign of divine, supernatural energy, at work in this world, — a sign as convincing and conclusive as the restoration of sight to the bhnd, hear- ing to the deaf, or life to the dead ! When we add to these spiritual transformations, the rapid opening of doors, great and effectual., in the face of many adversaries; the effecting of entrance to the very heart and center of the Pagan, Papal and Moslem world ; the steady onward movement of a feeble mission band, undismayed by the giant Anakim with their formidable fortresses and engines of war, we have, to a discerning spiritual eye, as satisfactory proof that God is moving in modern missions, and by his pillar of cloud and fire goes before his people, as v;as furnished when the Red Sea heaped up its waves, Jordan drove back its waters, or Jericho's walls fell flat ? In a word, we affirm that the results of the labors of the > 2 Ix GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. t .i present era of missions present a problem which cannot be solved without the Divine Factor. This great field might be viewed from many points on the horizon, and the whole march of the Lord's hosts is marked by his own golden footsteps. But for brevity of statement, and unity of impression, we select a few of the conspicuous proofs of Divine interposition. 1. The removal of barriers, i^pening doors of access, and flooding of lands with the Gospel. 2. The direct transformation of individual character and of entire communities. 3. The indirect results in the modification of exist- ing evils, and the elevation of society. 4. The reflex influences on the workers themselves and on the churches which sustain them. I. First, there has been a progress in missions dur- ing the last century, which would have been impossible without the intervention of a higher power. It is scarcely sixty years ago when the Church as a body took up the work of evangelizing the world. At that time obstacles, like mountains, stood in the way. When this century began, Ten great barriers, to human view insurmountable, interposed between the Church and the fullfilment of the Lord's command. We may group them into four classes. I. Obstacles to approach : Many great peoples were not accessible. In the pagan world, China was walled about ; Japan's ports had stood shut and sealed, even against merchant ships, for three centuries ; India was held by an En- glish power, really hostile to missions ; Africa was im- penetrable even to the explorer ; and the isles of the GOD*S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixi sea, crowded with cannibals, were more to be dreaded than the hungry jaws of an angry ocean. In the Moslem world, blind bigotry crushed all free- dom of speech or thought as with the iron flail of Talus, and the death penalty, like the sword of Damocles, over- hung every Mohammedan who dared look from the crescent towards the cross. In the Papal world, though nominally Christian, there was less hope of doing evangelistic work than among the cannibals of Fiji. The Waldcnses found that to those who sought even to keep che pure faith, the Vatican was an Olympus for its gods, a Sinai for its thunders, and a Calvary for its blood. Even travelers visiting the eternal city had to leave their Bibles out- side, and no Protestant chapel was tolerated within its limits. Secondly, obstacles to intercourse : Even where there was outward approach, there was often no real access. Serious hindrances to communi- cation existed. Slow methods of transportation made travel so tedious as to make even neighbors seem foreigners ; languages, strange and hard to master, offered no mould in which to cast spiritual ideas, and at least sixty of them must be reduced to writing, having no literature or even lexicon or grammar ; woman was hopelessly shut up in seraglios, zenanas and harems ; degraded into a beast of burden, little above the cattle for which she was bartered, or the donkeys with which she was associated ; denied not only any social status, but even a soul, "unwelcome at birth, untaught in child- hood, enslaved when married, accursed as widow, un- lamented when dead." And to all these obstacles to intercourse we must add that most gigantic foe, caste, s Mi > a: Ui H- I l\ii COD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. which seemed to make alike impossible, conversion, or communion among converts. Thirdly, obstacles to impression : The unevangelized world was divisible into two classes : first those races which seemed too low to be reached and elevated by the Gospel ; and secondly those which seemed too high to feel any need of its uplifting power. In some the image of God seemed not only defaced but effaced ; in whom even the image of man could scarcely be discerned, who for shamelessness were dumb beasts, and for ferocity wild beasts, savage, brutal, bestial, beyond all hope of being moulded anew ; not only dehumanized but demonized. Others, like the two hundred millions of India, or the twice two hundred millions of China., boasted hoary civilization and faiths, high culture, and a social morality that might compare favorably with that of many Chris- tian communities, while they were under the sway of a subtle, sophistical priesthood, and entrenched in self- complacence and self-sufficiency. What could the Gospel do, in confronting nations, proud of antiquity and aristocracy, where apostasy was counted a sin against God and a crime against the State, admitting no apology, and having no forgiveness here or here- after ? Fourthly, obstacles to action : In the Christian Church itself, some of the worst hindrances existed. Disgraceful iniquities and immo- ralities in Christian lands, with which the Church was complicated.made the very Gospel itself a stench, where it should have been a sweet savor, to the pagan world. China cannot forget that England forced opium upon her, even at the cannon's mouth ; Africa remembers GOD'S HAND IN MrsSfOXS. Ixiii that the very nations that now bring missionaries to her coast, not long since stole slaves from those same shores; and the Hawaiians caught the consuming leprosy of lust from the trading ships of Christian lands, as the North American Indians took the infection of drunkenness from contact with our higher " civilization." An awful shadow hung in advance over our mission work, when intercourse with Christendom had proved already a greater calamity than complete isolation ! Think of the missionary landing on foreign shores, only to bewail the fact that the shuttle of commerce had already woven a band of contact with the Christian people whom he came to represent ! Worse than all, apathy and lethargy reigned in the Church. Ignorance of God's work, and of man's need, made the prevailing indifference the more hopeless. Some professed disciples were not only without sym- pathy, or full of apathy, but showed absolute antipathy towards missions ; while sectarian strife and jealousy checked effort and cooled ardor, wasting energies that, if harmoniously united and concentrated, would have multiplied present results many fold. The zeal that at times seemed to be enkindled flashed into tl:e flame of temporary excitement and then died away, leaving no lasting results in self-sacrifice. Dr. Judson said his hand was nearly shaken off, and his hair shorn off for mementoes, by those who would willingly let missions die : and Dr. Bushnell declared that no obstacle abroad was so disheartening to him as the churches at home, one half of which give nothing, and the other half give little and pray less. How could missionaries go down into the awful depths of heathenism with no one " to hold the rope." a u Ixiv GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Such are a few of the representative obstacles that, within the memory of men still liv^ing, defied all human wisdom and power. To-day, if they are not all gone, they are down like Jericho's walls, and we climb over their ruins to take the strongholds of Satan ! It is vain to hope to pack into a few paragraphs the immense mass of facts, which no candid disciple can superficially survey without becoming a convert to mis- sions. We see God's angel going before the missionary band, till within a century their lines reach round the world. Land after land opens its two-leaved gates to admit the heralds of the cross, till every people becomes accessible. What were rallying points for gospel efforts in 1820, in 1870 were radiating centres for gospel light to lands yet in the death-shade. Converts multiply and churches are gathered, in the most discouraging fields, till India becomes a starry firmament of mission stations; Turkey is planted with crosses, from the Golden Horn to the Tigris ; Syria sends Arabic Testaments to the bounds of the Moslem world ; Japan takes giant strides toward a Christian civilization ; Polynesia's isles lift church-spires, thousands in number, towarri the sky; Africa is crossed with a chain of gospel outposts ; — and even Papal lands welcome the open Bible and the Prot- testant preacher ! He who studies history piously and prayerfully, not only sees the Hand of God in these recent developments, but traces the moving Pillar far back in the centuries, while as yet even the eyes of disciples were holden that they saw it not. From the day when the Morning Star of the Reformation rose, God has been unconsciously pre- paring his church for the world-wide preaching of the Word. By the double reformation in philosophy and re- GOnS HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixv ligion, he laid the basis for a purer and more primitive faith and life, gave the Bible to the people in their own tongue, made less distinct the dividing line between clergy and laity, struck a blow at priestcraft, and by re- viving evangelical piety led the way to evangelistic activity. Eyes, long blinded to the true character of God, and the real destitution of man, now felt the touch of partial restoration, and began dimly to see that a lost world had a claim upon the saved for the Gospel. Step by step of this marvellous preparation for the modern era of missions followed in quick succession. That triad of inventions, the mariner's compass, printing- press, and steam navigation, made all nations neighbors, and helped us to give wings to the word of God and to the herald of the cross. But still the Church seemed deaf, if not dead, to all sense of debt or love to a dying world, and the proposal of missions to the heathen met with sneers of ridicule. Dr. Ryland bade Carey " sit down " and leave God to take care of a pagan world ; the Scotch Assembly branded the idea of universal missions as fanatical, dangerous and revolutionary, and stirred up old John Erskine to pour into them hot shot and shell ; and the Massachusetts Association timidly let a few pioneers sail for the lands beyond the sea, half doubtful whether the .scheme of preaching the Gospel throughout the world were not impracticable and visionary. And all this within the last hundred years ! Over against this hesitating Church of Christ stood a compact phalanx of foes, Herod and Pilate friends to- gether in opposing Christ. Every Oriental empire positively hostile to approach ; Mohammedanism and Paganism visiting apostasy with death ; and oriental churches with nothing but the empty shell of formalism, fi 2r ui ■fi Ixvi GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS, bent on persecution just as systematic and intolerant The fact is, however, that through these iron gates of Pagan hostility and Christian apathy, a way has been made for the chariot of our God, and the manner in which this has been done compels us to say, like Pharaoh's magicians, " This is the Finger of God." Not to go back further, for four hundred years we can trace signal providences casting up this broad, level highway between the centers of Christendom and Pagan- dom. Near the close of the sixteenth century a new route to the golden Indies by way of the Cape of Good Hope led to the chartering of the East India Company a few years later ; and so, while the Pilgrims were sowing the seeds of this Christian Republic beneath the setting sun, Protestant England planted an Empire toward the sunrise and in the very heart of the Pagan Orient. Un- consciously the leading nation of the Protestant Chris- tian world was reaching out one hand eastward and the other westward to lay the foundations for a world wide Church. Subsequent conflicts in America and India settled the question that in both hemispheres the cross was to displace both the crescent and the crucifix. By the middle of the eighteenth century, America and Asia are respectively held by the two foremost Protestant powers of the world. England has a firm foothold in the critical centre of oriental missions, and in her hands holds the keys of the kingdoms of the East. This makes necessary, as a line of communication, an open highway for travel and traffic between the mother country and her eastern possessions. If Britain had any right in India, she had a right to a safe and peaceful road thither ; and this political necessity was used of God ul- timately to shape the attitude of every nation along that GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixvii rt highway. Had England not held that highway to the Indies, the destinies of Europe and Asia might have been changed. Turkey would probably have been de- voured by Russia, or divided between Russia and France ; the Greek and Roman churches, crossing the mountains, might have swayed all Asia and kept out Protestant missions. Behold the hand of God, using English arms and diplomacy to hold Popes, Czars and Sultans in check, to shield converts from persecution by Turkish Armenians, Persian Nestorians, Syrian Mos- lems, or Indian Brahmins ; and giving Britain a casting vote in the affairs of the Sublime Porte ! What means this Providential establishment of British empire in India ! It is an entering wedge, driven into the heart of Asia, — a wedge, the direction of whose cleavage is still eastward, splitting in twain these gnarled and knotted trunks of mossgrown empires ! Meanwhile, from seed sown at Plymouth, develops another mighty, evangelizing power. The Protestant Republic of America strides from Atlantic to Pacific, and, planting foot on the western shores, moves toward the eastern coasts of Asia, as though there were no more sea. Here is God's counterforce, moving from the op- posite direction to meet England and oppose her enter- ing wedge with the resistance of co-operation, as anvil opposes sledgehammer ! In other words another irrepres- sible conflict has come. Commerce will have her high- way round the world, and knocks imperatively at the sealed ports and barred gates of exclusive Oriental empires. Our Republic leads the way. In 1853, Commodore Perry sails into the bay of Yeddo, spreads the Star Spangled Banner over the capstan, and the open Bible CO n 5 < Ixviii GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. 'I upon the flag, and without firing a gun or shedding a drop of blood, peacefully opens the ports of Japan to the world. Five years later, four leading nations knock loudly at the gates of China, and the walled kingdom opens her doors ; expressly stipulating by treaty that " any person, whether citizen of the country with which the treaty is made, or Chinese convert to the faith of the Protestant or Roman Catholic churches, who, accord- ing to these tenets peaceably teaches and practices the principles of Christianity, shall in no case be interfered with or molested !'''' This one edict of toleration gave religious liberty to one third of the population of the globe. At one titanic blow, God levels an obstacle as hi<]jh as the Himalayas, and opens the way from the Bos- phorus to the China sea, through the heart of Asia. Passing by all other providential interpositions, let us emphasize the recent unveiling of Africa. In August, 1877, after 999 days from Zanzibar, Stanley, emerging at the mouth of the Congo, completes the transit of the Dark Continent. The dying cry of Jesus has rent the last veil in twain, and the missionary has only to follow the footsteps of the explorer ! The same providence that opens the doors, prepares the forces of his Church for the crusade. The missionary advance of this century is directly traceable to answered prayer. Since Luther nailed up his theses, there has been no historic hour so dark as the first half of the eighteenth century. Even England was, as Isaac '^aylor said, in " virtual heathenism," with alascivious literature, an infidel society, a worldly Church and a deistic theology. Blackstone heard every clerc^y- man of note in London, but not one discourse had more Christian whether t homct or that *' Re Rousseau, in Gernia Olympus ( If Co] priestcraft, tions, and and Priest] Socinus, ai what missi such • Chrii a type of p; has any div to spare to The onl gion, wides] his Church gehsts. U I^owlands, Fletcher — apostles of t and 1785 w( world from t At first even ^ying life. ' him by set d, shut against I iir preaching I toward the re But the i rf^';.tj •**-ij>r?t:i GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixix Christianity in it than the orations of Cicero, or showed whether the preacher was a disciple of Confucius, Ma- homet or Christ. In America, Samuel IMaine declared that ** Religion lay a dying." In France, Voltaire, Rousseau, and Madame dc Pompadour, led society ; and in Germany, Frederick the Great made his court the Olympus of infidels. If Collins and Tyndal denounced Christianity as priestcraft, Whiston called Bible miracles grand imposi- tions, and Woolston treated them as allegories ; if Clark and Priestly openly taught the heresies of Arius and Socinus, and even morality was trampled under foot, what missionary activity could there be .-* To diffuse such * Christianity ' would be disaster ; but happily such a type of piety has no diffusive tendency or power ; if it has any divine fire left, it has not a coal or even a spark to spare to light a blaze elsewhere ! The only hope of missions lay in a Revival of Reli- gion, widespread, deep-reaching ; and God gave that to his Church through a wonderful constellation of Evan- gelists. Whitefield, the Wesleys, Grimshaw, Romaine, Rowlands, Berridge, Venn, Walker, Hervey, Toplady, Fletcher — these Bishop Ryle names as twelve of the apostles of that new Reformation, which, between 1735 and 1785 woke not only England but the Protestant world from the awful apostasy of irreligion and infidelity. At first even the Church resisted all efforts to revive her dying life. Whitefield found Scotch ministers opposing him by set days of fasting and prayer ; and church doors shut against himself and Wesley, compelled that open lir preaching which was the great stride of the century [toward the reaching of the masses. But the Spirit of God was breathing on the dry i Ixx GOD'S HAND TN MISSIONS. m i bones. The fires, slowly kindled at first, burned bright- er and hotter, caught here and there, spread far and wide, till even America, across the sea, was aflame. Within fifty years from Whitefield's first sermon at Gloucester, all Protestant Christendom thrilled with a revived evangelical faith, and as evangelistic zeal is sure always to follow, out of these i'entecostal outpourings came the flaming tongues o witness. The Church, from her silver trumpets pealed forth her summons to prayer, for the effusion of the Spirit upon all disciples, and upon the whole habitable earth. Praying bands answered the trumpet peal in all parts of Britain, and from American shores came the echo in 1747 of Jona- than Edwards' bugle " call to concerted prayer." The tidal wave of revival rose higher and moved with great- er momentum, under the Haldanes, Andrew Fuller, Sutcliffe, Rowland Hill and others. In 1792 the Warwick Association formally made the first Monday of each month a "monthly concert of prayer " for the world's evangelization. No sooner did the revived Church, after this awful period of drought, begin to pray for a great rain, than a cloud like a man's hand appeared on the horizon ; and in that same year, 1792, the first Foreign Missionary Society was formed in England, and the next year sent to India its first missionary, William Carey, who within the thirty years following secured the translation of the Scriptures into forty tongues, and the circulation of two hundred thousand copies. Thus the revival of evangelical faith, and of concerted prayer, are the two pillars on which rests the arch of Modern Missions. How fast that little cloud has grown, till the heaven is overspread, and there is a sound of the abundance ofi GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixxi rain ! During these eighty years, the number of trans- lations of the Word has increased ^z^r/J?/^, from fifty to two hundred and fifty ; of Protestant mission societies, tenfold, from seven to seventy ; of male missionaries, fifteen/old, from one hundred and seventy to twenty- four hundred ; of moneys contributed tivcnty-fivcfold^ from two hundred and fifty thousand to six and a quar- ter million dollars : of converts, tJiirty-fivcfoldy from fifty thousand to one million six hundred and fifty thousand ; and of mission schools, one hundred and seventy fold, from seventy to twelve thousand ! The whole tide of thought has turned in the Church, since William Carey first offered to go and meet the giant of heathenism. The wave, at its lowest ebb a century ago, now touches a flood mark never before reached, and is still rising. Sydney Smith would no longer dare to sneer at the " pious shoemaker " of Paulersburg, or characterize his schemes as " the dreams of a dreamer who dreams that he has been dreaming." England is prouder of Carey than Athens was of Pericles, or Rome of Cicero, and lifts the statue of Livingstone to its lofty pedestal in the metropolis of the world, to inspire Christian colonies to push into the heart of the dark continent. American churches hurl their columns against the ranks of pagan and papal su- perstition, and erect missionary lectureships in the foremost institutions of learning to train youth to imi- tate the devotion of Dav^id Brainerd, Henry Martyn, and Alexander Duff. In fact, the whole history of Modern Missions is a Burning Bush, whose every twig is aflame with the Divine presence : we are standing on holy ground ; many and marked are the divine interpositions ; we see the > < O Ixxii GOD'S HAND IM MISSIONS. iron gules open of their own accord, obstacles suddenly sinking, continents unveiling their secrets, and mission- ary ex[)loration going forward so rapidly that the maps of yesterday are out of date to-day ! II. The Divine Hand is also seen in the direct trans- formation of character, both individual and national. The fiercest, hardest, rudest of heathen have been sub- dued, softened, refined by the Gospel. Africaner, that monster of cruelty, who would kill an innocent man to make a drinking cup of his skull and a drumhead of his skin, was, at the touch of that Gospel, turned from a lion into a lamb. Guergis, the ferocious Koord, who would have killed his own daughter as she prayed for him, was struck by it into penitence, as bitter as Peter's and as potent. He laid aside gun and dagger for Testament and hymn book, and made the mountains echo with the story of his great sins and great Saviour, shouting with dying breath, " Free grace ! " Even Fidelia Fiske could scarcely believe she saw the miracle of such a conver- sion. Sau Ouala, the Karen, was by that same Gospel changed into an apostolic worker. He aided the mis- sionaries in the translation of the Word, guided them for fifteen years through the jungles ; then himself be- gan to preach and plant churches — within three years gathering nearly twenty-five hundred converts into more than thirty congregations : and refusing a tempting gov- ernment position, rather than mix up God's work with secular labor, though his poverty forced him to leave his lovely wife in loneliness. So has the Gospel transformed whole communities. In 1878, the Ko Thah Byu Memorial Hall was conse- crated, commemorating the fiftieth anniversary of the first Karen convert, whose name it bears. Karens built COD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixxiii it at a cost of fifteen thousand dollars. It represented twenty thousand living disciples converted from demon worship, maintaining their own churches and schools, beside twenty thousand more who had died in the faith of Jesus. That hall confronts Shway Mote Tau Pa- goda, with its shrines and fanes on an opposing hill, — the double monument of what the Karens were and are. The story of the Gospel in the South Seas should be written in starlight. John Williams, the blacksmith's boy, and the apostle of Polynesia, found idolatry of the most degraded type, and savages of the lowest grade. Yet his progress was one rapid career of conquest. Churches and schools grew, he knew not how. A law- less people adopt a code of laws and trial by jury. Printing presses scatter their leaves like the tree of life ; and even a missionary society is formed with King Po- mare as its president, and twenty-five hundred dollars as its first year's contribution. Within a year after he t landed at Raratonga, the whole Hervey group, with a [population of seven thousand, have thrown away their [idols, and a church-building is going up, six hundred feet long. He turns to the Samoa group, and shortly has [the whole people, sixty thousand, in Christian schools. The tale of Fiji is not less wonderful. These canni- [bals built the very huts of their chiefs upon the bodies of Hving human beings, buried alive, and they launched itheir canoes upon living bodies as rollers ; they slew in- fants, and strangled widows. Human language has no |terms to describe the abasement of this people, or their Rtrocious customs. Such deeds of darkness should be mtten in blood and recorded in hell. The Fijians arc liow a Christian people. In 1835 missionary labor be- kan among them ; seven years later the island of Ono t ui < txxW GOD'S HAND IN MrSSfONS. ■ill % ii had not one heathen left on it, and became the centre of Gospel light to the whole group. To-day every village has its Christian homes and schools, and there are nine hundred churches on those islands. So was it with the new Hebrides. It was written as Dr. Geddie's Epitaph, that " when he came to Anei- tyum, there were no Christians; when he left, there were no heathens." These are but a few representative cases. Madagascar was so hopeless a field that the French governor of the island of Bourbon told the pioneer missionaries that they might as well try to con- vert cattle as the Malagasy. Yet the Gospel barely got a foothold there when it took such root that twenty-five years of fire and blood failed to burn out or blot out its impression. And now a Christian church stands on the court grounds, and on the coronation table together lie the Laws of the Realm and the Bible, as the Higher Law of Madagascar, " that crown of the London Mis- sionary society." The American Board, however, in 1879, declared at Syracuse, that the previous seven years in Japan furnish the most remarkable chapter in the history of the world, eclipsing not only Madagascar, but the early triumphs of Christianity. The " Lonestar " mission among the Teloogoos, almost abandoned as both hopeless and fruitless in 1853, in 1878 blazed forth with a bril liancy like that of Sirius ; within forty days nearly ten thousand converts were baptized. The experiences o( Powell at Nanumaga, Duncan at Columbia, Judsoninj Burmah, Wheeler in Turkey, Johnson in Sierra Leone, I Grant in Persia, Scudder in India, Wolfe in China, Mc'All in France, and David Brainerd in New Jersey, besides many more which we have not space to mention, IK ilii-iy** GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. Ixxv furnish unanswerable proof that the hand of God is in this work of missions. While looking at the marvels of this missionary history, we must not forget how the subsidence of oppos- ing? systems has prepared the way for gospel triumphs. When the first seventeen missionaries landed at Hawaii, God had gone before them, the old king was dead, the idols burned, the old pagan faith cast away as worthless, and the first death blow struck at the tabu system. The isles were waiting for his law. When Mc'All crossed the Enfjlish Channel, the fields of France were already white [or the sickle. Bouchard, Reveillaud, and others, had already forsaken Romanism, as the ally of ignorance and superstition ; and a whole people were ready for a grand insurrection of thought and resurrection of conscience. Tired of feeding on the ashes of Atheism and priestcraft, they hunger for the bread of life. God has let down the continent below the sea-level. It is not so much a rising tide as a sinking land. But is his hand any the less conspicuous when he thus floods the continents with the Gospel ! III. — At least a rapid glance should be given to the indirect influences of the Gospel. As Sir Bartle Frere jsays, wherever the Gospel has gone, it has promoted I the "Dignity of labor, the Sanctity of marriage, and the l^rotherhood of man," Where it does not convert, it Ichecks and controls ; where it does not renew, it refines ; Iwhere it does not sanctify, it softens and subdues. Result- lant motion is the diagonal of direction followed by a Ibody on which two forces act, at right angles. So pissions, acting in an opposite direction from paganism, Imodify and change even the society they do not wholly jtransform. Statistics, therefore, rather understate than i > UJ H- < Ixxvi COD'S HAND FN MTSSTONS, overstate results, wliich cannot be estimated numerically. Each church and missionary station represents 2^ com- munily, closely identified with Christianity, a center of light, radiating holy influence on every sin... Two million converts represent two hundred million, drawn into more or less sympathy with the Christian faith and life, con- fronted with the stand inp^ proofs of the superiority of Christian teaching, individual character, and family life. All this is like the honeycombing of rocks at Hellgate, preparatory to a sudden and widespread destruction of those obstacles to navigation : pagan society, with its false faiths and iniquitous customs, is being undermined and, as Shcshadrai says, " God works according to a higher arithmetic of his Cvvn ," it wdl be no surprising thing, if, in his good time, all India shall suddenly be evan- gelized, and it will then be seen there, as elsewhere, that in the absence of positive and visible results, the prepara- tion has been going on for a final and glorious consum- mation. IV. One more grand fact remains to be considered briefly, viz : the reflex influence of missions upon all who earnestly engage in them. It is inconceivable that any work which is not su- premely owned of God should develop such character in | tJiezvorker. The seal and sanction of God is upon missions, for the very vanguard of the Church is found inthei heroic, self-sacrificing souls who represent us in front of the citadels of heathenism. These men and women are the foremost disciples of Christ; some of them seem both to lift mortals up and to bring angels down ; they realize to us the day of heaven upon earth, in the sanc- tity of their lives and the ideality of their unselfish | services. GOD'S FTAND IN Af/SSIONS. Ixxvii We see the Moravia. ns going into the lazar house, and entering the leper villages of Africa, cheerfully iso- lating themselves from the " clean," and identifying themselves with the •' unclean," for life, that they may point the accursed victims of loathsome disease to him who can cleanse the leprosy of the soul. We hear Doher and his co-laborers at St. Thomas, when told that they could not preach to those ignorant slaves, resolutely re- ply, •' then we will sell ourselves as slaves, and preach while we work by their side ! " Wo follow John Eliot, "the apostle of the Indians," spending twelve years in learning their difficult language, reducing it to a written form, publishing a grammar, and writing on its title page that holy maxim which has since passed into the un- inspired scriptures of the church, " Prayer and pains, through faith in Christ, will do anything ;" we look at him patiently translating the Bible into the Indian tongue, gathering those rude children of the forest into Christian settlements, and closing his fifty years of toil for their salvation by expending his dying breath in ! teaching a little Indian child to read. We trace the pa- Ithetically beautiful career of Adoniram Judson in Bur- mah,his lofty devotion to principle, and his entire conse- cration to Christ and to souls, and we do not wonder that even Theodore Parker should declare that " if mod- ern missionary enterprise had done no more than pro- |duce one Adoniram Judson it were worth all it cost." We need not look beyond the subject of this memoir Ifor a shining illustration of the transfiguring power of [the spirit of missions. It may be doubted whether in all Christian history the spirit of a seraph has ever burned in a human body more certainly than in David irainerd. Dying in his thirtieth year, a long life o£ i QQ > UJ < '^:-r-:-'M :;-,:..,.. Ixxviii GOD'S HAND IN MISSIONS. holy toil was condensed into the four years of his apostolic life. We see him, in the solitude of the forest, praying for the red man ; in his lonely log hut, barring his door to keep out wolf and bear, seated near his lighted torch, after a wearisome day, that he may read the Word of God, or record the Lord's dealings with him ; suffering pangs of hunger, exposing his delicate frame to night chills and stormy winds, sleeping on the ground, or climbing a tree for safety from wild beasts; and through all this experience only exclaiming, " Oh that I were a flame of fire in the Lord's service ! Oh that I were spirit that I might be more active for God!" We look at such lives as these, and we are compelled to feel that a work that demands such consecration, and develops such Christlike devotion and heroism, must be especially the work of God. The more disciples, at home and abroad, become pervaded with this spirit of missions, the more is all the glory of the apostolic Church again revived. This holy labor for souls develops apostolic unity : for as Macaulay well observes " Where men worship a cow, the differ ences between evangelical Christians dwindle into in significance." Sectarian lines disappear as, in presence of a united and gigantic army of foes, the ranks of dis- ciples draw closely together for one onset in solid column to pierce tlie very center of the enemy and turn their staggering wings. Even the churches at home feel the reaction of mis- sionary effort. The Revivals of the last century gavi: birth to missionary societies, and the missionary labon of this century have stimulated revivals. It might !>J| thoug;ht that Foreitrn missions would draw away fundrial convictions of sin or concern for his salvation, until he was about thirteen years of age, when they returned upon him m\\y if// re ised power, ;ind resulted, as he evidently believed at the time, in his conversion to God. Un- der his severe self-scrutiny, however, he afterward questioned the genuineness of these experiences and thoupjht that he was relying upon his own righteousness. But the careful reader of his life will be disposed to believe that at this early period he was really a subject of Divine Grace. When about twenty he was visited with new light and power from on high — with an intensity of feeling, a depth of conviction, in relation to sin and his undone condition, and a fulness of peace and rejoic- 'vf\% very unusual in one so young, and one who had always le4 a strictly moral, and, in some respects, a religious life This new baptism stirred his soul to its profoundest depths, and was the starting jHjint in a most extraordinary career of ^^r'ifdlan attainmen'i and personal consecration. H is not surp.sing that lirainerd should date his conver- siz/Ti from thi' period of his life, so profound and •<• remark- ^le were his spirittsal exercises and expericnciSH. His own accxmni ot himself, during and preceding this eventful pei kuI - the opt remember anything of ctjnvittion of ."sin, worthy of remark. till I was seven or eight years of age. Then I became concerned for my jsniii, and terrific ■ormance of relig Hestroyed my eag tern was but sho lived 'at ease ii foncern, as I rem irintcrof 1732, I irhat means at firs tidiness in Iladdc prayer ; and took ikildrcn. I felt [rcat delight in jr.is converted, or biness ; not knowi pnie proceeded fa hough ts were aim My indeed say, Al Kcecdingly distres [.irch, 1732. Hut Y; degrees f fell b I attended secret "In^/;-;/ 1733, '^re I spent four ] the most part, ctcd to ihe comp ^it when I did go nscience as when I comp to the thror »is Won* sometim ^rebut srlf-righteo :'\n April, 1737, f tori; on my farm, ai bm mere natural fenty years of age ore than ever in th 1 over my thought? ( bath evenings for religious exercises, and I thought myself sincere inthesel duties ; and after our meeting was ended I used to repeat the discourses! of the day to myself; recollecting what I could, though sometimes vml late at night. I used occasionally on Monday mornings to recollect tkel same sermons ; experienced a considerable degree of enjoyment in prayeri and had many thoughts of joining the church. In short, I hadaveijj good outside, and rested entirely on my duties \ though I was not sensili| of it. "After Mr. Fiske's death, I proceeded in my studies with my brotbj was still very constant in religious duties, often wondered at the levins professors, and lamented their carelessness in religious matters. Thiai proceeded a considerable length on a self-righteous foundation, andshcii have been entirely lost and undone, had not the mere mercy of God p^^ vented. "In the winter of 1738, it pleased God, one Sabbath morning! I was walking out for prayer, to give me on a sudden such a seas of my danger, and the wrath of God, that I stood amazed, and my fori good frames presently vanished. From the view which I had of rays and vileness, I was much distressed all that day, fearing that the vengearij of God would soon overtake me. I was much dejected ; kept muchalod and sometimes envied the birds and beasts their happiness, because ;a were not exposed to eternal misery, as I evidently saw that I was. Tl:| I lived from day to day, being frequently in great distress : sonieta there appeared mountains before me to obstruct my hopes of mercy :i the work of conversion appeared so great, that I thought I should m be the subject of it. I used, however, to pray and cry to God, ard^i foim other duties with great earnestness, and thus hoped by somend to make the case better. Hundreds of times I renounced all preitiij of any worth in my duties, as I thought, even while perfonningtl often confessed to God that I deserved nothing for the very hestofila but eternal condemnation ; yet still I had a secret hope of reconimeniii myself to ood by my religious duties. When I prayed affcctioiwtc'.y, my heart seemed in some measure to m.elt; T hoped that God wouldj thereby moved to pity me. My prayers then looked with some appt ance of goodness in them, and I seemed to mourn for sin. Then Ic in some measure venture on the mercy of God in Christ, as I tlioud though the preponderating thought, the foundation of my hope, wass imagination of goodness in my meltings of heart, the warmth of niyi tions, and my extraordinary enlargements in prayer. Though at MEMOIRS OF BRAIN RRD. ihe gate appeared so very strait, that it looked next to impossible to enter ; Ut iX other times, I flattered myself that it was not so very difficult, and boped I should by diligence and watchfulness soon gain the point. Sometimes after enlargement in duty and considerable affection, I hoped ; had made a good step towards heaven ; and imagined that God was fected as I was, and would hear such sincere cries, as I called them. \nd so sometimes, when I withdrew for secret prayer in great distress, I eturned comfortable ; and thus healed myself with my duties. "In February^ 1739, I set apart a day for secret fasting and prayer, and pent the day in almost incessant cries to God for mercy, that he would ipen my e\ ' to see the evil of sin, and the way of life by Jesus Christ. fod was plea. >d that day to make considerable discoveries of my heart I me. Still I t.usted in all the duties I performed, though there was no kaniier of goodness in them ; there being in them no respect to the glory [God, nor any such principle in my heart. Yet God was pleased to make by endeavors, that day, a means to show me my helplessness in some leasure. "Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and imagined that God loved e, and was pleased with me, — and thought I should soon be fully re- pnciled to God. Rut the whole was founded on mere presumption, aris- Ig from enlargement in duty, or warmth of affections, or some good |solutions, or the like. And when, at times, great distress began to rise, on a sight of my vileness, and inability to deliver my.self from a vereign God, I used to put off the discovery, as what I could not bear. nee I renumber, a terrible pang of distress seized me ; and the thought [renouncing myself, and standing naked before God, stripped of all ilness, was so dreadful to me, that I was ready to say to it, as Felix to ^ul, 'Go thy way for this time.' Thus, though I daily longed for eater conviction of sin; supposing that I must see more of my dreadful ^te in order to a remedy; yet, when the discoveries of my vile, wicked art were made to me, the sight was so dreadful, and showed me so linly my exposedness to damnation, that I could not endure it. I con- Intly strove after whatever qualifications I imagine others obtained before reception of Christ, in order to recommend me to his favor. Some- bes I felt the power of a hard heart, and supposed it must be softened lore Christ would accept of me; and when I felt any meltings of heart, Joped now the work was almost done. Hence, when my distress still named, I was wont to murmur at God's dealings with me ; and thought, pn others felt their hearts softened, God showed them mercy; but my ttress remained still. I" At times I grew remiss and sluggish, without any great convictions of I for a considerable time together; but after such a season, convictions me more violently. One night I remember in particular, when I S 99 ..J I > MEMOIRS OF BKAINRRD. was walking solitarily abroad, I had opened to nic such a view of my sin, i tliat 1 fcarctl the grounil would cleave asunder under Midfeet, and Ikujut my grave ; and would send my soul quick into hell, before 1 cuiikl,..,: home. Though I was forced to go to bed, lest my distress should be d;,. covered by others, which I much feared; yet I scarcely durst sleep at all, I for I thought it would be a great wonder if I should be out of hell intrrl morning. And though my distress was sometimes thus great, ye: 1 greatly dreaded the loss of convictions, and returning back to a stateoii carnal security, and to my former insensibility of iujpending wrath ; whid made me exceedingly e.xact in my behavior, lest I should stifle themotiorijl of God's Holy Spirit. When at any tune I took a view of my cnmi j tions, and thought the degree of them to be considerable, I was wont to j trust in them; but this confidence, and the hopes of soon making sorael notable advances towards deliverance, would ease my mind, and I soon J become more senseless and remiss. Again, when I discerned my corJ victions to grow languid, and thought them about to leave me, thisiBif mediately alarmed and distressed me. Sometimes I expected to takr large step, and get very far towards conversion, by some part' opportunity or means I had in view. "The many disappointments, great distresses and perplexi, 'I experienced, put me into a most horrible frame of contesting \. ittl Almighty; with an inward vehemence and virulence, finding fault withhiij ways of dealing with mankind. I found great fault with the iniputatiojl of Adam's sin to his posterity ; and my wicked heart often wished foil some other way of salvation than by Jesus Christ. Iking like the tioiil'c sea, my thoughts confused, I used to contrive to escape the wrath of G^iuj by some other means. I had strange projects, full of atheism, contrivi^J to disappoint God's designs and decrees concerning nic, or to escape 1 notice, and hide myself from him. But when, upon reflection, I saw these! projects were vain, and would not serve me, and that I could coiitrivej nothing for my own relief ; this would throw my mind into the most hcrriJ frame, to wish there was no God, or to wish there were some other GodI that could control him. These thoughts and desires were the secret ir.l clinations of my heart, frequently acting before I was aware ; but, ato'j they were mine, although I was frightened when I came to reflect onthenil When I considered, it distressed me to think, that my heart wassofu'l of enmity against God; and it made me tremble, lest his vengeance sh suddenly fall upon me. I used before to imagine, that my heart wasn^l so bad as the scriptures and some other books '■epresented it. Sonief times I used to take much pains to work it up into a good frame, a humbifl submissive disposition ; and hoped there was then some goodness in iw| liut, on a sudden, the thoughts of the strictness of the law, or i sovereignity of God, would so irritaie the corruptioii of my heart, tlis'^ MEMOIRS OF BRAFNERD. had so watched over, and hoped T had brought to a good frame, that it would break over all bounds, ar.d burst forth on all sides, like floods of waters when they break down their dams. " IJcing sensible of the necessity of deep humiliation in order to a saving interest in Christ, I used to set myself to produce in my own heart the convictions requisite in such a humiliation ; as, a conviction that God would be just, if he cast me off for ever ; that if ever God should bestow mercv on me, it would be mere grace, though I should be in distress many vears first, and be never so much engaged in duty ; and that God was not in the least obliged to pity me the more for all past duties, cries and tears. I strove to my utmost to bring myself to a firm belief of these things and a hearty assent to them ; and hoped that now I was brought off from myself, truly humbled, and that I bowed to the divine sovereignty. I was wont to tell God in my prayers, that now I had those verj dis- positions of soul which he required, and on which he showed mercy to others, and thereupon to be;, and plead for mercy to me. But when I found no relief, and was still oppressed with guilt, and fears of wrath, my soul was in tumult, and my heart rose against God, as dealing hardly with me. Vet then my conscience flew in my face, patting me in mind of my late confession to God of his justice in my condemnation. This, giving me a sight of the badness of my heart, threw me again into distress ; and I wished that I had watched my heart more narrowly, to keep it from 1 breaking out against God's dealings with me. I even wished that I had I not pleaded for mercy on account of my humiliation ; because therebv I I had lost all my seeming goodness. Thus, scores of times, I vainly imagined myself humbled and prepared for saving mercy. While I ivas in this distressed, bewildered, and tumultuous state of mind, the corrup- I lion of my heart was especially irritated with the following things; — I. "The strictness of the divine Law. For I found it was impossible [forme, after my utmost pains, to answer its demands. I often made new resolutions, and as often broke them. I imputed the whole to careless- Iness, and the want of being more watchful, and used to call myself a fool [for my negligence. But when, upon a stronger resolution, and greater lendeavors, and close application to fasting and prayer, I found all at- Itempts fail ; then I quarrelled with the law of God, as unreasonably [rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my outward actions and behaviors, jthat I could bear with it ; but I found that it condemned me for my evil Itlioughts, and sins of my heart, which I could not possibly prevent. I jwas extremely loth to own my utter helplessness in this matter ; but after [repeated disappointments, thought that, rather than perish, I could do little more still , especially if such and such circumstances nn"ght but ttend my endeavors and strivings. I hoped, that I should strive more iMrnestly than ever, if the matter came to extremity, though I never could s CQ a > 3 UJ < 8 MRAfOTRS OF BRAINERD. find the time to flo my utmost, in the manner T intended. This hope of future more fav()ral)lc circumstances, and of doing something great here- after, kept me from utter despair in myself, and fiom seeing myself falloi into the hands of a sovereign God, and dependent on nothing hut free and boundless grace. 2. " That faith alone was the condition of salvation ; that God would not come down to lower terms ; and that he would not promise life and sal- vation upon my sincere and hearty prayers and endeavors. That won!, (Mark xvi. i6,) ' He that believeth not, shall be damned,' cut off all hifi there. I found that faith was the sovereign gift of God : that I could nut get it as of myself ; and could not oblige God to bestow it upon me, bv any of my performances. (Eph. ii. i. 8.) This, I was ready to say, is a hard saying, who can hear it ? I could not bear that all I had done should stand for mere nothing ; as 1 had been very consrIcntii)iis in duty, had been exceeding religious a great while, and had, as I thought, done much more than many others who had obtained mercy. I confessed indeed the vileness of my duties ; but then, what made them at that time seem vile, was my wandering thoughts in them ; not because I was all over defiled like a devil, and the jirinciple corrupt from whence they flowed so that I could not possibly do anything that was good. Hence I called what I did by the name of honest faithful endeavors ; and could not hear it, that God had made no promises of salvation to them. 3. " That I could not find out what faith was ; or what it was to be- lieve and come to Christ. I read the calls of Christ to the weary and heavy laden ; but could find no way that he directed them to come in. I thought I would gladly come^ if I knew how; though the path of duty were never so difficult. I read Stoddard's Guide to Christ, (which I trust was, in the hand of God, the happy means of my conversion,) and my heart rose against the author ; for though he told me my very heart all along under convictions, and seemed to be very beneficial to me in his directions ; yet here he failed ; he did not tell me anything I could do that would bring me to Christ, but left me as it were with a great gulf between, without any direction to get through. For I was not yet effec- tually and experimentally taught, that there could be no way prescribed, whereby a natural man could, of his own strength, obtain that which is supernatural, and which the highest angel cannot give. 4. " The sovereignity of God. I could not bear, that it should be wliolly at God's pleasure, to save or damn me, just as he would. That passage, (Rom. ix. 11 — 23.) was a constant vexation to me, especially verse 21. Reading or meditating on tliis, always destroyed my seeming good frames : for whe". 1 thought I was almost humbled, and almost resigned, this passage would make my enmity against the sovereignity nf God appear. When I came to reflect on the inward enmity and blas- phemy, whic driven furthci dreadful view hands, at his ever to submii nation. "All this I and I was inw ever helping i lost estate wa.-. was as if it hn done, it is for four days my s moments, I sci lack innnediati the hands of (ii pleasure. I da was dead in tre: these views of r coveries of mys( final stupidity. season, the conv nt time, that it i.'tput it off. "It was the state, as a creatt could make no d absolute sovereij my soul shrank li'; that doth evil, truth, neither car him his just dese pains, as I thoug the thing,— and ( perimentally sens and trembled at, I had ever hoped "supposed necessa rast me off ; but 1 "'.vsclf spiritually Irary, my mouth 1 ful to me, to see : and criminal, and MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. nheiny, which arose on this occasion, I was the more afraid of God, and If .11 further I'roni .uiy linpcs of recoiKJliation vvitli him. it f;.ive nie a duMtifiil view "f myself; I ihe.idcd niorc tlian ever to see myself in (lod's haiuls, at his .sovereign disposal ; and it made me more opposite than ever to submit to his sovereignity ; for I thought God designed my dam- nation. "All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at work with me; aad I was inwardly pressed to rclin(|uish all self-confidence, all hopes of ever helping myself by any means whatsoever. The conviction of niy lost estate was sometimes so clear and manifest before my eyes, that it was as if it had been declared to me in so many words, ' It is done, it is done, it is for ever impossible to deliver yourself.' For about three or fmir davs my soul was thus greatly distressed. At some turns, for a few moments, I seemed to myself lost and undone ; but then would shrink back immediately from the sight, because I dared not venture myself into the hands of (iod, as wholly helpless, and at the disposal of his sovereign pleasure. I dared not see that important truth concerning myself, that I was dead in trespasses and sins. But when I had, as it were, thrust away these views of myself at any time, I felt distressed to have the same dis- coveries of myself again ; for I greatly feared being given over of God to final stupidity. When I thought of putting it off to a more convenient season, the conviction was so close and powerful, with regard to the pres- iitlinie, that it was the hesi, and probably the only time, that I dared 1.! tpiit it off. "It was the sight of truth concerning myself, truth respecting my state, as a creature fallen and alienated from God, and that con.secjuently could m.ake no demands on God for mercy, but must subscribe to the absolute sovereignity of the divine 15cing ; the sight of the truth, I say, my soul shrank away from, and trembled to think of beholding. Thus, he that doth evil, as all unregencratemen continually do, hates the light of truth, neither cares to come to it, because it will reprove his deeds, and show him his just deserts, (John iii. 26.) Some time before, I had taken much pains, as I thought, to submit to the sovereignity of God; yet I mistook the thing, — and did not once imagine, that seeing and being made ex- perimentally sensible of this truth, which my soul now so much dreaded and trembled at, was the frame of soul which I had so earnestly desired. I had ever hoped, that when I had attained to that humiliation, which I supposed necessary to precede faith, then it would not be fair for God to cast me off ; but now I saw it was so far from any goodness in me, to own myself spiritually dead, and destitute of all goodness, that, on the con- trary, my mouth would be for ever stopped by it ; and it looked as dread- ful to me, to see myself, and the relation I stood in to God — I a sinner and criminal, and he a great Judge and .Sovereign — as it would be to a A-; %. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) A W 4i> C-^, "^ tA ^ ^ ■^ 1.0 I.I ■ 5 '""^^ M 2.2 6" 2.0 ^ 118 1.6 1^ IIIM III '/ s Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEPSTER,N.Y. M580 (716) 872-4503 ^S> ^cp ^ ^-v\ V % ■^ 'O » ,.^', i?. t// ^ 10 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. poor trembling creature, to venture off some high precipice. Hence I put it off for a ininule or two, and tried for better circumstances to do it in ; either I must read a passage or two, or pray first, or some- thing of the lilte nature or else put off my submission to God's sover- eignty with an objection, that I did not know how to submit. But the truth was I could see no safety in owing myself in the hands of a sove- reign God, and could lay no claim to anything better than damnation.* "After a considerable time spent in similar exercises and distresses, one morning, while I was walking in a solitary place, as usual, I at onct saw that all my contrivances and projects to effect or procure deliverance and salvation for myself, were utterly in vain ; I was brought quite to a stand, as finding myself totally lost. I had thought many times before, that the difficulties in my way were very great ; but now I saw, in an- other and very different light, that it was for ever impossible for mc to do anything towards helping or delivering myself. I then thought of blaming myself, that I had not done more, and bee i more engaged, while I had opportunity — for it seemed now as if the season of doing was for ever over and gone — but I instantly saw, that let me have done what I would, it would no more have tended to my helping myself, than what I had done ; that I had made all the pleas I ever could have made to all eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. The tumult that had been before in my mind, was now quieted ; and I was somewhat eased of that * About this period Brainekd wrote the following fragment, found among his MSS, entitled : — " SOME GLOOMY AND DESPONDING THOUGHTS OF A SOUL UNDER CONVICTIONS OF SIN ANd CONCERN FOR ITS ETERNAL SALVATION. 1. " I believe my case is singular, that none ever had so many strange and different thoughts and feelings as I. 2. "I have been concerned much longer than many others I have known, or concern ing whom I had read, who have been savingly converted, and yet I am left. 3. " I have withstood the power of convictions a long time ; and therefore I fear I shall be finally left of God. 4. " I never shall be converted without stronger convictions and greater terrors ol conscience. 5. " 1 do not aim at the glory of God in anything I do, and therefore I cannot hope for mercy, 6. " I do not see the evil nature of sin, nor the sin of my nature ; and therefore I am discouraged. 7. " The more I strive, the more blind and hard my heart is, and the worse I grow continually. 8 "I fear that God never showed mercy to one so vile as I. 9. "I fear that I am not elected, and therefore must perish. 10. " I fear that the day of grace is past with me. 11. "I fear that I have committed the unpardonable sin. 12. "lam an old sinner; and if God had designed mercy for me, he would have called me home to h'imself before now." ^^^0^'^s OF B^^rmm. distress which I feJt I -i II " Whil T "ever d.d ,n prayer or any other dlr " ""^ ^"''^« ' but now S '"' ('od for alJowintr ml 7 . ^' ^^^ '"Ofe I saw thn^ r ' ^ '""''^ ^ "- - no :^;r.:r:; °rr ''-- -^Ccr;^ • it^' '-- '^^« ■"y Paem, ,ha„ there « o^m"? ""' theni„my„i„j., '™n°,"nthewaler,(,vhiel, was the T '^ ™ l»ve or regard to r„H , ' '"=""^= 'hey were 2 t r '"'■'™" ' ^^'^ Wore God fa°, ■ ' '="■ *« ' had feerhea, ' ' """' f"™ '"ny sometimes thar,'^' '"''""'^' ^"''""ii-S ".tlT ^^ '">- *™tio„s' *"e anything (Jr G„d [h?/'™ Y'?"'""^' ' ^ - 'hT^ i H" "'"^^ clilion, on accm.n, „r . " no claim on anvH,r„„ , 'ad never *™>vi.hsi„ a^ rper.,:"" '"'^ "'^-^ '° do° i' :*f -r"'" wanderinps! 5,n^ • "f^"^ction; but this wp« ^ 7 ^" charge evidently that T u.a ' ™^ ^ thoutjht I h.,^ f^^^se I had no ;«• I -w that ^Z:L°:tTcr'^^' -^ > -.;„ tr dtl;^';- few wanderinfr« • (^ .1 * "^<^ attended m„ ^ ^- course of '«Hdabnj:?Gor '■'' ""^ - "°*'-"« h« stro::c::r: ;l«^Ts""altog'i;:rr,r'"'' "" *^ S^'*ath eve„i„, f„„ . '"'"Shi to see myselflofri j /^ ^^""^ solitary pHcTlV'"'"'^' -"".ful melancClv r I '""^' " '«'°- ■"= ton;d ^^ ' -^ ''«nftn el "*'" '"""=" "r earth co^d mil *'=°"'°'='<'. =' if "ear half an hour; th, -though, as I thought, v<: len, as I was walk •ry stupid and "g «n a dark thick s Uj 12 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. grove, unspeakable glory seemed to open to the view and apprehension oi my soul. I do not mean any external brightness, for 1 saw no such thing ; nor do I intend any imagination of a body of light, somewhere in the third heavens, or anything of that nature ; but it was a new inward apprehension or view that I had of God, such as I never had before, nor anything which had the least losemblance of it. I stood still ; wondered; and admired ! I knew that I never had seen before anything comparable to it (or excellency and beauty ; it was widely different from all the con- ceptions that ever I hnd of God, or things divine. I had no particular apprehension of any onv- person in the Trinity, either the Father, the Son, or the Holy Ghost ; but it appeared to be Divine glory. My soul rejoiced with joy unspeakable, to see such a God, such a glorious divine Being ; and I was inwardly pleased and satisfied that he should be God over all for ever and ever. RTy soul was so captivated and delighted with the excellency, loveliness, greatness, and other perfections of God, that I was even swallowed up in him ; at least to that degree, that I had no thought (as I remember) at first, about my own salvation, and scarce re- flected that there was such a creature as myself. " Thus God, I trust, brought me to a hearty dispositic. to exalt him, and set him on the throne, and principally and ultimately to aim at his honor and glory, as King of the universe. I continued in this state of inward joy, peace, and astonishment, till near dark, without any sensible abatement; and then began lo think and examine what I had seen; and felt sweetly composed in my mind all the evening following. I felt my- self in a new world, and everything about me appeared with a different aspect from what it was wont to do. At this time, the way of salvation opened to me with such infinite wisdom, suitableness, and excellency, that I wondered I should evsr think of any other way of salvation ; was amazed that I had not dropi^ed my own contrivances, and complied with this lovely, blessed, and excellent way before. If I could have been saved by my own duties, or imy other way that I had formerly contrived, my whole soul would now have refused it. I wondered that all the world did not see and comply with this way of salvation, entirely by the right- eousness of Christ. " The sweet relish of what I then felt, continued with me for several days, almost constantly, in a greater or less degree. I could not but sweetly rejoice in God, lying down and rising up. The next Lord's day I felt something of the same kind, though not so powerful as before. Bu* not long after I was again involved in thick darkness, and under great distress; yet not of the same kind with my distress under convic- tions. I was guilty, afraid and ashamed to come before God; was ex- ceedingly pressed with a sense of guilt: but it was not long before I felt, I trust, true repentance and joy in God. The latter end of August, I "Ii MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 13 again fell under great drrkness ; it seemed as if the presence of God was clean gone forever ; though I was not so much distressed about my spiritual state, as I was at my being shut out from God's presence, as I then sensibly was. But it pleased the Lord to return graciously to me not long after.* " In September I entered Yale College ; but with some degree of re- luctancy, fearing lest I should not be able to lead a life of strict religion, in the midst of so many temptations. After this, in the vacancy, before I went to tarry at college, it pleased God to visit my soul with clearer manifestations of hiuiself and his grace. I was spending some time in prayer and self-examination, when t' .. rd, by his grace, so shined into my heart, that I er.joyed full assuranc . of his favor, for that time ; and my soul was unspeakably refreshed with divine and heavenly enjoyments. At this time especially, as well as some otbc'-s, sundry passages of God's word opened to my soul with divine clearness, power, and sweetness, so as to appear exceeding precious, and with clear and certain evidence of its being the word of God. I enjoyed considerable sweetness in religion all the winter following. "In Jan. 1740, the measles spread much in college; and I, having taken the distemper, went home to Iladdam. But some days before I was taken sick, I seemed to be greatly deserted, and my soul mourned the absence of the Comforter exceedingly. It seemed to me, that all comfort was forever gone. I prayed and cried to God for help, yet found no present comfort or relief. But through divine goodness, a night or two before I was taken ill, while I was walking alone in a very retired place, and engaged in meditation and prayer, I enjoyed a sweet refresh- ing visit, as I trust, from above ; so that my soul was raised far above ♦It was probably at this time that the following fragment was written, entitled " Some signs of Godliness. The distinguishing m.irks of a true Christian, taken from one of my old manuscripts ; where I wrote as I felt and experienced, and not from any considerable degree of doctrinal knowledge, or acquaint.ance with the sentiments of others in this point. " 1. " He has a true knowledge of the glory and excellency of God, that he is most worthy to be loved and praised for his own divine perfections. Psal. cxlv. 7. 2. "God is his portion, Psal. Ixxiii. 25. And God's glory, his great concern, Matt. vi. 22. 3. " Holiness is his delight ; nothing he so much longs for as to be holy, as God is holy. Phil. iii. g — 12. 4. " Sin is his greatest enemy. This he hates, for its own nature, for what it 1. in it- self, being contrary to a holy God, Jer. ii. i. And consequently he hates all sin, 'ness I should lose the benefit of these trials. that they might be sanctified to my soul ! Nothing seemed to touch me but only this, that I was a sinner. Had fervency and refreshment in social prayer in the evening. '■'■ May \o. I rode to New-Haven; saw some Christian friends there; and had comfort in joining in prayer with them, and hearing of the good- ness of God tc them, since I last saw them. — May 11. "I rode from New- Haven to Wethersfield ; was very dull most of the day ; had little spiritu- ality in this journey, though I often longed to be alone with God ; was much perplexed with vile thoughts ; was sometimes afraid of everything! MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 39 but God was my Helper. Caught a little time for retirement in the even- ing, to my comfort and rejoicing, Alas! Icanivitlive in the midst of a tumult. I long to enjoy God alone.— May 12. i had a distressing view of the pride, enmity and vileness of my heart. Afterwards had sweet refreshment in conversing and worshipping God, with Christian friends. " May 13. Saw so much of the wickedness of my heart, that I longed to get away from myself. I never before thought that there was so much spiritual pride in my soul. I felt I'lmost pressed to death with my own vileness. O what a body of death is there in me ! Lord, deliver my soul ! I could not find any convenient place for retirement, and v/as greatly ex- ercised. Rode to Hartford in the afternoon : had some refreshment and comfort in religious exercises with Christian friends; but longed for more retirement. O the closest walk with God is the sweetest heaven that can be enjoyed on earth ! "il/rty 14. I waited on a council of ministers convened at Hartford, and spread be.'ore them the treatment I had met with from the rector and tutors of Yale College ; who thought it advisable to intercede for me with the rector and trustees, and to intreat them to restore me to my former privileges in college.* After this, '■pent some time in religious exercises with Christian friends. " May 1 5. I rode from Hartford to Hebron ; was somewhat dejected on the road ; appeared exceeding vile in my own eyes, saw much pride and stubbornness in my heart. Indeed I never saw such a week as this before ; for I have been alm.ost ready to die with the view of the wickedness of my heart I could not have thought I had such a body of death in me. Oh, that God would deliver my soul I " The three next days (which he spent at Hebron, Lebaiion, and Norwich) he complains still of dullness and desertion, and expresses a sense of his vileness, and longing to hide himself in some cave or den of the earth ; but yet speaks of some intervals of comfort and soul-refreshment each day. " May 19. [At Millington] I was so amazingly deserted this morning, that I seemed to feel a sort of horror in my soul. Alas ! when God with- draws, what is there that can afford any comfort to the soul ! " Through the eight days next following, he expresses more calmness and comfort, and considerable life, fervency, and sweetness in religion. ^^ May 28. [At New-Haven] I think I scarce ever felt so calm in my * This application was not successful. s ^m 30 MEMOIRS OF PRATNRRV. life ; T rejoiced in resignation, and giving myself up to God, to be wholly and entirely devoted to him for ever. '^'^ June I. Had much of the presence of God in family prayer, and had some comfort in secret. I was greatly refreshed from the word of God this morning, which appeared exceedingly sweet to me ; some things which appeared mysterious, were opened to me. O that the Kingdom of the dear Saviour might come with power, and the healing waters of the sanctuary spread far and wide for the hesling of the nations ! Came to Ripton; but was very weak. However, being visited by a number of young people in the evening, I prayed with them. ^'' Lord's day y June 6. I feel much deserted: but all this teaches niemy nothingness and vileness more than ever. — June 7. Felt Siill powerless in secret prayer. Afterwards I prayed and conversed with some little life. God feeds me with crumbs; blessed be his name for anything. I felt a great desire that all God's people might know how mean and little and vile I am ; that they might see I am nothing, that so they may pray for me aright, and not have the least dependence upon me. — June 8. I enjoyed one sweet and precious season this day ; I never felt it so sweet to be nothing, and less than nothing, and to be accounted nothing. June 12. Spent much time in prayer this morning, and enjoyed much sweetness. Felt insatiable longings after God much of the day. I wonder tl how poor souls do to live, that have no God. The world, with all its enjoyments, quite vanished. I see myself very helpless; but I have a blessed God to go to. I longed exceedingly to be dissolved, and to be with Christ, to behold his glory. O my weak weary soul longs to arrive at my Father's house ! Lords day, June 13. Felt somewhat calm and resigned ir the public worship: at the sacrament saw myself very vile and worthless. O that I may always lie low in the dust! My soul seemed steadily to go forth after God, in longing desire to live upon him. June 14. Felt somewhat of the sweetness of communion with God, and the constraining force of his love ; how admirably it captivates the son!, and makes all the desires and affections to centre in God ! I set apart this day for secret fastings and prayer, to intreat God to direct and bless me with regard to the great work which I have in view, of preaching the gospel — and that the Lord would return to me, and show me the light of his countenance. Had little life and power in the forenoon : near the middle of the afternoon, God enabled me to wrestle ardently in inter- cession for my absent friends: but just at night the Lord visited me marvellously in prayer. I think my soul never was in such an agony before. I felt no restraint; for the treasures of divine grace were opened to me. I wrestled for absent friends, for the ingathering of souls, fof MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 3« multitudes of poor souls, and for many that I thought were the children of God, personally, in many distant places. I was in such an agony from sun half an hour high, till near dark, that I was all over wet with sweat : but yet it seemed to me that I had wasted away the day, and had done nothing. O my dear Saviour did sweat blood for poor souls ! I longed for more compassion towards them. Felt still in a sweet frame, under a sense of divine love and grace ; and went to bed in such a frame, with my heart set on God. " Jtnie 1 5. Had the most ardent longings after God, which I ever felt in my life. At neon, in my secret retirement, I could do nothing but tell my dear Lord, in a sweet calm, that he knew I ''.esire ' nothing but himself, nothing but holiness ; that he had given me these o.esires, and he only could give me the thing desired. I never seemed to be so unhinged from myself, and to be so wholly devoted to God. My heart was swal- lowed up in God most of the day. In the evening I had such a view of the soul being as it were enlarged, to contain more holiness, that it seemed ready to separate from my body. I then wrestled in an agony for divine blessings; had my heart drawn out in prayer for some Christian friends, beyond what I ever had before. I feel differently now from what I ever did under any enjoyments before ; more engaged to live to God for ever, , nd less pleased with my own frames. I am not satisfied with my frames, nor feel at all more easy after such strugglings than before ; for it seems far too little, if I could always be so. O how short do I fall of my duty in my sweetest moments ! " June 18. Considering my great unfitness for the work of the minis- try, my present deadness, and total inability to do anything for the glory of God that way, feeling myself very helpless, and at a great loss what the Lord would have me to do ; I set apart this day for prayer to God, and spent most of the day in that duty, but amazingly deserted most of the day. Yet I found God graciously near, once in particular ; while I was pleading for more compassion for immortal souls, my heart seemed to be opened at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ardency, for a few minutes. O I was distressed to think that I should offer such dead cold services to the living God! My soul seemed to breathe after holiness, a life of constant devotedneti to God. But I am almost lost sometimes in the pursuit of this blessedness, and ready to sink, because I continually fall short, and miss of my desire. O that the Lord would help mc to hold out yet a little while, until the happy hour of deliverance comes ! "7«w 19. Felt much disordered; my spirits were very low : but yet enjoyed some freedom and sweetness in the duties of religion. Blessed be God. — Lord's day, June 20. Spent much time alone. My soul earnestly wished to be holy, and reached after God ; l)ut seemed not to obtain my desire. I hungered and thirsted ; but was not refreshed and U4 32 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. satisfied. My soul rested on God, as my only portion. O that I could grow in grace more abundantly every day " June 22. In the morning spent about two hours in prayer and meditation, with considerable delight. Towards night felt my soul go out in earnest desires after God, in secret retirement. In the evening, was sweetly composed and resigned to God's will ; was enabled to leave my- self and all my concerns with him, and to have my whole dependence upon him. My secret retirement was very refreshing to my soul ; it ap- peared such a happiness to have God for my portion, that I had rather be any other creature in this lower creation, than not come to the enjoy- ment of God. I had rather be a beast, than a man, without God, if I were to live here to eternity. Lord, endear thyself more to me ! " In his diary for the next seven days, he expresses a va- riety of exercises of mind. He speaks of great longings after God and holiness, and earnest desires for the conversion of others ; of fervency in prayer, power to wrestle with God, composure, comfort, and sweetness, from time to time ; but expresses a sense of the abomination of his heart, and bitterly complains of his barrenness, and the body of death ; and says, " he saw clearly that whatever he enjoyed, better than hell, was of free grace." He complains of falling much below the character of a child of God ; and is sometimes very dis- consolate and dejected. " Jtme 30. Spent this day alone in the woods, in fasting and prayer ; underwent the most dreadful conflicts in my soul, which lever felt, in some respects. I saw myself so vile, that I was ready to say, ' I shall now perish by the hand of Saul. I thought that I had no power to stand for the cause of God, but was almost ' afraid of the shaking of a leal' Spent almost the whole day in prayer, incessantly. I could not bear to think of Christians showing me any respect. I almost despaired of doint any service in the world ; I could not feel any hope or comfort respecting the heathen, which used to afford me some refreshment in the darkest hours of this nature. I spent the day in bitterness of soul. Near night I felt a litde better ; and afterwards enjoyed some sweetness in secret prayer. ^^July I, Had some enjoyment in prayer this morning; and far more than usual in secret prayer to-night, and desired nothing so ardently as that God should do with me just as he pleased. — July 2. Felt com- posed in secret prayer in the morning. My desires ascended to God this day, as I was travelling : and was comfortable in the evening. MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. ZZ Blessed be God for all my consolation. — July 3. " My heart seemed again to sink. The disgrace I was laid under at College, seemed to damp me ; as it opens the mouths of opposcrs. I had no refuge but in God. lilessed be his name, that I may go to him at all times, and find him a present help. " LorcTs day, July 4. Had considerable assistance. In the evening T withdrew, and enjoyed a happy season in secret prayer. God was pleased to give me the exercise of faith, and thereby brought the in- visible and eternal world near to my soul which appeared sweetly to me. I hoped that my weary pilgrimage in the world would be short ; and that it would not be long before I was brought to my heavenly home and Father's house. I was resigned to God's will, to tarry his time, to do his work, and suffer his pleasure. I felt thankfulness to God for all my pressing desertions of late ; for I am persuaded that they have been made a means of making me more humble, and much more resigkied. I felt pleased to be little, to be nothing, and to lie in the dust. I enjoyed life and consolation in pleading for the dear children of God, and the kingdom of Christ in the world : and my soul earnestly breathed after holiness, and the enjoyment of God. O come. Lord Jesus, come quickly. "Lord's day, July 1 1. Was deserted and exceedingly dejected in the morning. In the afternoon, had some life and assistance, and felt re- signed. I saw myself to be exceeding vile. "/«/j/ 14. Felt a degree of humble resigned sweetness : spent a con- siderable time in secret, giving myself up wholly to the Lord. Heard Mr. Ballamy preach towards night ; felt very sweetly part of the time : longed for nearer access to God. "///(k 19. My desires seem especially to be after weanedness from the world, perfect deadness to it, and that I may be crucified to all its allurements. My soul desires to feel itself more of a pilgrim and stranger here below ; that nothing may divert me from pressing through the lonely desert, till I arrive at my Father's house. — July 20. It vas sweet to give away myself to God to be disposed of at his pleasure. I had some feeling sense of the sweetness of being a pilgrim on earth. ^'' July 22. Journeying from Southbury to Ripton, I called at a house by the way, where being very kindly entertained and refreshed, I was filled with amazement and shame , that God should stir up the hearts of any to show so much kindness to such a dead dog as I ; was made sensible in some manner, how exceeding vile it is not to be wholly de- voted to God. I wondered that God would suffer any of his creatures to feed and sustain me from time to time. ^^July 29. I was examined by the Association met at Danbury, as to m 34 MEMOIRS OF nKAFNERD. my learning, and also my experience in religion, and received a license from them to preach the gospel of Christ. Afterwards felt much de- voted to God ; joined in prayer with one of the ministers, my peculiar friend , in a convenient place, and went to bed resolving to live devoted to God all my days." m ME 3S Bef;inn!n|{ of his Missionary Career amon^ the Indians of North America. "July 30, 1742. Rode from Danbury to Southbury ; preached there, from I Pet. iv. 8. And above all things have fervent charity, etc. Had much of the comfortable presence of God in the exercise. I seemed to have power with God in prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts of the people ill preaching. — July 31. 1 was calm and composed, as well as greatly lefrcshcd and encouraged. '^Lord's day, Aug. 8. n the morning I felt comfortably in secret prayer ; my soul was refreshed with the hopes of the Heathen coming home to Christ ; was much resigned to God, and thought it was no matter what became of me.— Preached both parts of the day at Bethlehem, from Job xiv. 14. If a man die, shall he live again, etc. It was sweet to me to meditate on death. In the evening, felt very comfortably, and cried to riod fervently in secret prayer. ^^Aug. 12. This morning and last night Iwas exercised with sore inward trials : I had no power to pray : but seemed shut out from God. I had in a great measure lost my hopes of God's sending me among the Heathen afar off, and of seeing them flock home to Christ, I saw so much of my vileness, that I wondered that God would let me live, and that people did not stone me ; much more that they would ever hear me preach ! It seemed as though I never could nor should preach any more, yet about nine or ten o'clock, the people came over, and I was forced to preach. And blessed be God, he gave me his presence and Spirit in prayer and preaching : so that I was much assisted, and spake with power from Job, xiv. 14. Some Indians cried out in great distress,* and all appeared greatly concerned. After we had prayed and exhorted them to seek the Lord with constancy, and hired an English woman to keep a kind of school among them, we came away about one o'clock and came to Judea, about fifteen or sixteen miles. There God was pleased to visit my soul with much comfort. Blessed be the Lord for all things I meet with. "Lor(Psday Aug. 15. Felt much comfort and devotedness to God this day. At night, it was refreshing to get alone with God, and pour out my soul. Oh, who can conceive of the sweetness of communion with the 2!: 25 * It was near Kent, on the western borders of Connecticut, where there is a number oi Indians. 36 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, blessed God, but those who have experience of it ! Glory to God for ever, that I may taste heaven below. — Aug. i6. Had some comfort in secret prayer, in the morning. Felt sweetly sundry times in prayer this day ; but was much perplexed in the evening with vain conversation. — Aug. 17. Exceedingly depressed in spirit, it cuts and wounds my heart, to think how much self-exultation, spiritual pride, and warmth of temper, I have formerly had intermingled with my endeavors to promote God's work: and sometimes I long to lie down at the feft of opposers, and confess what a poor imperfect creature I have been, and stiii am. The Lord for- give me, and make me for the future wise as a serpent, and harmless as a dove ! Afterwards enjoyed considerable comfort and delight of soul. '■'Aug, 18. Spent most of this day in prayer and reading. I see so much of my own extreme vileness, that I feel ashamed and guilty before God and rnan ; I look to myself like the vilest fellow in the land : I wonder that God stirs up his people to be so kind to me. — Aug. 19, This day, being about to go from Mr. Bellamy's at Bethlehem, where I had resided some time, I prayed with him, and two or three other Christian friends. We g^.ve ourselves to God with all our hearts, to be his for ever : eternity looked very near to me, while I was praying. If I never should see these Christians again in this world, it seemed but a few moments before I should meet thorn in another world. "Aug. 20. I appeared so vile to myself, that I hardly dared to« ink of being seen, especially on account of spiritual pride. However, to-night I enjoyed a sweet hour alone with God, [at Ripton] : I was lifted above the frowns and flatcerics of this lower world ; had a sweet relish of heavenly joys ; and my soul did, as it were, get into the eternal world, and really taste of heaven. I had a sweet season of intercession for dear friends m Christ ; and God helped me to cry fervently for Zion. Blessed be God for this season. '■'■ Aiug. 21. Was much perplexed in the morning. Towards noon enjoyed more of God in secret ; was enabled to see that it was best to throw myself into the hands of God, to be disposed of according to his pleasure, and rejoiced in such thoughts. In the afternoon rode to New- Haven : was much confused all the way. Just at night, underwent such a dreadful conflict as I have" scarce ever felt. I saw myself exceeding vile and unworthy; so that I was guilty, and ashamed that anybody should bestow any favor on me, or show me any respect " Lord^s day^ Aug. 22. In the morning continued still in perplexity. In the evening enjoyed comfort sufficient to overbalance all my late distresses. I saw that God is he only soul-satisfying portion, and I really found satisfaction in him. My soul was much enlarged in sweet in- tercession for my fellow-men everywhere, and for many Christian friends in particular, in distant places. — Aug. 23. Had a sweet season MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 37 in secret prayer : the Lord drew near to rr.y soul and filled mc with peace and divine ccnsolation. Oh, my soul tasted the sweetness of the upper world ; and was drawn out in prayer for the world, that it might CO le home to Christ ! Had much comfort in the thoughts and hopes of the ingathering of the Heathen ; was greatly assisted in interces- sion for Christian friends." — Aug. 25. In family prayer, God helped me to climb up near him, so that I scarce ever got nearer. '■'■Aug. 30. Ftlt somewhat comfortably in the morning ; conversed sweetly with some friends ; was in a serious composed frame ; and prayed at a certain house with some degree of sweetness. Afterwards .it another house, prayed privately with a dear Christian friend or two; and, I think, I scarce ever launched so far into the eternal world as then; I got so far out on the broad ocean, that my soul with joy triumphed over all the evils on the shores of moitality. I think time, and all its gay amusements and cruel disappointments, never appeared so inconsiderable tome before. I was in a sweet frame ; I saw myself nothing, and my soul reached after God with intense desire. Oh, I saw what I owed to God, in such a manner, as I scarce ever did! I knew that I had never lived a moment to him as I should do ; indeed, it appeared to me, that I had never done anything in Christianity : my soul longed with a vehe- ment desire to live to God. — In the evening, sung and prayed with a num- ber of Christians : felt the powers of the world to come in my soul, in p.ayer. Afterwards prayed again privately, with a dear Christian or two and found the presence of God ; was somewhat humbled in my secret retirement : felt my ingratitude, because I was not wholly swallowed up in God. ^^ Sept. I. Went to Judeu, to the ordination of Mr. Judd. Mr. Bellamy preached from Matt. xxiv. 46. ' Blessed is that servant,' etc. I felt very solemn most of the time ; had my thoughts much on that time when our Lord will come ; that time refreshed my soul much ; only I was afraid I should not be found faithful, because I have so vile a heart. My thoughts were much in eternity, where I love to dwell. Blessed be God for this solemn season. Rode home to night with Mr. Bellamy, con- versed wiiii some friends till it was "ery late, and then retired to rest in a comfortable frame. " Sept. 2. In the afternoon, I preached from John vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto the twelve. Will ye also go away ? and God assisted me in some comfortable degree ; but more especially in my first prayer ; my soul sepned then to launch quite into the eternal wc-jd, and to be as it were, separated from this lower world. Atterwards preached again from Isa. v. 4. What could have been done more, etc. God gave me some assistance ; but I saw myself a poor worm. " Sept, 4. Much out of health, exceedingly depressed in my soul, and 38 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. at an awful distance from God. Towards night, spent some time in profitable thp'xglits on Rom. viii. 2. For the law of the spirit of life, etc. Near night, had a very sweet season in prayer ; God enabled me to wrestle ardently for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom ; pleaded earnestly for my own dear brother John, that God would make him more of a pilgrim and stranger on the earth, and fit him for singular service- ableness in the world ; and my heart sweetly exulted in the Lord, in the thoughts of any distresses that might alight on him or on me, in the ad- vancement of Christ's kingdom. It was a sweet and comfortable hour unto my soul, while I was indulged with freedom to plead, not only for myself, but also for many other souls. " Lord's Jay, Sept. 5. Preached all day : was somewhat strengthened and assisted in the afternoon ; more especially in the evening : had a sense of my unspeakable failures in all my duties. I found, alas ! that I had never lived to God in my life. — Sept. 6. Was informed that they only waited for an opportunity to apprehend me for preaching at New- Haven lately, that so they might imprison me. This made me more solemn and serious, and to quit all hopes of the world's friendship ; it brought me to a further sense of my vileness, and just desert of this, and much more, from the hand of God, though not from the hand of man. Retired into a convenient place in the woods, and spread the matter be- fore God. " Sept. 7. Had some relish of divine things, in the morning. After- wards felt more barren and melancholy. Rode to New-Haven to a friend's house, at a distance from the town ; that I might remain undis- covered and yet have opportunity to do business privately, with friends which come to commencement. " Sept. 8. Felt very sweetly, when I first rose in the morning. In family prayer, had some enlargement, but not much spirituality, till eternity came up before me, and looked near ; I found some sweetness in the thoughts of bidding a dying farewell to this tiresome world Though sometime ago I reckoned upon seeing my dear friends at commencement; yet being now denied the opportunity, for fear of imprisonment, I felt totally resigned, and as contented to spend this day alone in the woods, as I could have done, if I had been allowed to go to town. Felt exceedingly weaned from the world to-day. In the afternoon, I discoursed on divine things, with a dear Christian friend, whereby we were both refreshed. Then I prayed, with a sweet sense of the blessedness of communion with God : I think I scarce ever enjoyed more of God in any one prayer. it was a blessed season indeed to my soul I I know not that ever I saw so much of my own nothingness, in my life ; never wondered so, that God allowed me to preach his word. This has been a sweet and comfortable day to my soul. Blessed be God. Prayed again with my dear friend, MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 39 with something of the divine presence. I long to be wholly conformed to God, and transformed into his image. " Sept. 9. Spent much of the day alone ; enjoyed the presence of God in some comfortable degree : was visited by some dear friends and prayed with them : wrote sundry letters to friends; felt reli- gion in my soul while writing: enjoyed sweet meditations on some scriptures. In the evening, went very privately into town, from the place of my residence at the farms, and conversed with some dear friends ; felt sweetly in singing hymns with ihem : and made my escape to the farms again, without being discovered by any enemies, as I knew of. Thus the Lord preserves me continually. " Sept. 10. Longed with intense desire after God ; my whole soul seemed impatient to be conformed to him, and to become 'holy, as he is holy.' In the afternoon, prayed with a dear friend privately, and had the presence of God with us ; our souls united together to reach after a blessed immortality, to be unclothed of the body of sin and death, and to enter the blessed world, where no unclean thing enters. O, with what intense desire did our souls long for that blessed day, that we might be freed from sin, and forever live to and in our God ! In the evening, took leave of that house ; but first kneeled down and prayed ; the Lord was of a truth in the midst of rs ; it was a sweet parting season ; felt in myself much sweetness and affection in the things of God. Blessed be God for every such divine gale of his Spirit, to speed me on in my way to the new Jerusalem ! Felt some sweetness afterwards, and spent the evening in conversation with friends, and prayed with some life, and retired to rest very late." The next five days he appears to have been in an exceed- ingly comfortable frame of mind, for the most part, and to have been the subject of the like heavenly exercises as are often ex- pressed in preceding passages of his diary ; such as, having his heart much engaged for God, wrestling with him in prayer with power and ardency ; enjoying at times sweet calmness and composure of mind, giving himself up to God to be his for- ever with great complacence of mind ; being wholly resigned to the will of God, that he might do with him what he pleased ; longing to improve time, having the eternal world, as it were, brought nigh ; longing after God and holiness, earnestly de- siring a complete conformity to him, and wondering how poor souls do to exist without God. *^ Sept. 16. At night, enjoyed much of God, in secret prayer : felt an 40 MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. uncommon resignation, to be and do what God pleased. Some days past, I felt great perplexity on account of my past conduct: my bitterness, and want of Christian kindness and love, has been very distressing to my soul : the Lord forgive me my unchristian warmth, and want of a spirit of meekness ! "Sept. i8. Felt some compassion for souls, and mourned that I had no more. I feel much more kindness, meekness, gentleness, and love to- wards all mankind, than ever. I long to be at the feet of my enemies and persecutors : enjoyed some sweetness in feeling my soul conformed to Christ Jesus, and given away to him for ever." The next day he speaks of much dejection and discour- agement, from an apprehension of his own unfitness ever to do any good in preaching ; but blesses God for all dispensa- tions of providence and grace ; finding that by all God weaned him more from the world, and made him more re- signed. The ten days following he appears to have been in great melancholy, exceedingly dejected and discouraged : speaks of his being ready to give up all for gone respecting the cause of Christ, and exceedingly longing to die ; yet had some sweet seasons and intervals of comfort, and special assistance and enlargement in the duties of religion, and in performing pub- lic services, and considerable success in them. " Sept. 30. Still very low in spirits ; I did not know how to engage in any work or business, especially to correct some disorders among Christians; felt as though I had no power to be faithful in that regard. However, towards noon, I preached from Deut. viii. 2. And thou slialt remember, etc, and was enabled with freedom to reprove some things in Christians' conduct, I thought very unsuitable and irregular ; insisted near two hours on this subject." Through this and the two following weeks,he passed through a variety of exercises ; he was frequently dejected, and felt inward distresses : sometimes sunk into the depths of melan- choly ; at which turns he was not exercised about the state of his soul, with regard to the favor of God, and his interest in Christ, but about his own sinful infirmities, and unfitness for God's service. His mind appears sometimes extremely de- pressed with a sense of inexpressible vileness. But, in the MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 41 mean time, he speaks of many seasons of comfort, and s;>irit- ual refreshment, wherein his heart was encouraged and Strengthened in God, and sweetly resigned to his will ; of some seasons of very high degrees of spiritual consolation, and of his great longings after holiness, and conformity to God ; of his great fear of offending God, and of his heart being sweetly melted in religious duties ; of his longing for the advance- ment of Christ's kingdom, of his having at times much assist- ance in preaching, and of remarkable effects on the audience. ^'^ Lord's day, Oct. 17. Had a considerable sense of my helplessness and inability ; saw that I must be dependent on God for all I want ; and especially when I went to the place of public worship. I found I could not speak a word for God, without his special help and assistance. I went into the assembly trembling, as I frequently do, under a sense of my in- sufficiency to do anything in the cause of God, as I ought to do. But it pleased God to afford me much assistance, and there seemed to be a con- siderable effect on the hearers. In the evening, I felt a disposition to praise God for his goodness to me, that he had enabled me in some measure to be faithful ; and my soul rejoiced to think, that I had thus per- formed the work of one day more, and was one day nearer my eternal, and I trust my heavenly home. O that I may be ' faithful to the death, full- filling as an hireling my day,' till the shades of the evening of life shall free my soul from the toils of the day ! This evening in secret prayer, I felt exceedingly solemn, and such longing desires after deliverance from sin, and after conformity to God, as melted my heart. O I longed tv> be 'delivered from this body of death!' I felt inward, pleasing pain, that I could not be conformed to God entirely, fully, and forever. I scarce ever preach without being first visited with inward conflicts, and sore trials. Blessed be the Lord for these trials and distresses, as they are blessed for my humbling. " Oct. 18. In the morning, I felt some sweetness, but still pressed through trials of soul. My life is a constant mixture of consolations and conflicts, and will be so till I arrive at the world of spirits.— Oct. IQ. " This morning and last night, I felt a sweet longing in my soul after holiness. My soul seemed so to reach and stretch towards the mark of perfect sanctity, that it was ready to break with longings. — Oct. 20. Very infirm I in body, exercised with much pain, and very lifeless in divine things. Wt a little sweetness in the evening. "Of/. 21. Had a very deep sense of the vanity of the world most of the hliy; had little more regard to it, than if I had been to go into eternity I Ae next hour. Through divine goodness, I felt very serious and solemn. 42 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, O, I love to live on the brink of eternity, in my views and meditations! This gives me a sweet, awful, and reverential sense and apprehension of God and divine things, when I see myself, as it were, standing before the judgment seat of Christ. " Oct. 22. Uncommonly weaned from the world to-day : my soul delighted to be a stranger and pilgrim on the earth ; I felt a disposition in me never to have anything to do with this world. The character given of some of the ancient people of God, in Heb. xi. 13, was very pleasing to me, ' They confessed that they were pilgrims and strangers on the earth,' by their daily practice; and O that I could always do so! Spent some considerable time in a pleasant grove, in prayer and meditation. Oh it is sweet to be thus weaned from friends, and from myself, and dead to the present world, that so I may live wholly to and upon the blessed God ! Saw myself little, low, and vile in myself. In the afternoon, preached at Bethlehem, from Deut. viii. 2. God helped me to speak to the hearts of dear Christians. Blessed be the Lord for this season : I trust they and I shall r«joice on this account, to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came in while I was making the first prayer, (being returned home from a journey;) and after meeting, we walked away together, and spent the evening in sweetly conversing on divine things, and praying together, with sweet and tender love to each other, and retired to rest with our hearts in a serious spiritual frame. " Oct. 23. Somewhat perplexed and confused. — Rode this day from Bethlehem to Simsbury. — Lord's day, Oct. 24. Felt so vile and unworthy, that I scarce knew how to converse with human creatures. — Oct. 25. [At Turkey Hills.] In the evening, I enjoyed the divine presence, in secret prayer. It was a sweet and comfortable season to me ; my soul longed for the living God : enjoyed in sweet solemnity of spirit, and longing desire after the recovery of the divine image in my soul. ' Then shall I be satisfied when I shall awake in God's likeness/ and never before. " Oct. 26. [At West Sulfield.] Underwent the most dreadful distresses, under a sense of my own unworthiness. It seemed to me, that I deserved rather to be driven out of the place, than to have anybody treat me with any kindness, or come to hear me preach. And verily my spirits were so depressed at this time, (as at many others,) that it was impossible I should treat immortal souls with faithfulness. I could not deal closely and faith- fully with them, I felt so infinitely vile in myself. O what dust and ashes I am, to think of preaching the gospel to others ! Indeed, I never can he faithful for one moment, but shall certainly 'daub with untempercd mortar,' if God do not grant me special help. In the evening. I went to the meeting-house, and it looked to me near as easy for one to rise out of \ the grave and preach, as for me. However, God afforded me some life | and power, both in prayer and sermon ; and was pleased to lift me up, MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 43 and show me that he could enable me to preach. O the wonderful good- ivss (it (iod to so vile a sinner ! Returned to my quarters; and enjoyed some sweetness in prayer alone, and mourned that I could not live more to God. " Oct. 27. I spent the forenoon in prayer and meditation ; was not a little concerned about preaching in the afternoon; felt exceedingly with- out strength, and very helpless indeed; and went into the meeting-house, ashamed to see any come to hear such an unspeakable worthless wretch. ]h)wever, God enabled me to speak with clearness, power, and pungency. But there was some noise and tumult in the assembly, that I did not well like ; and I endeavored to bear public testimony against it with modera- tion and mildness through the current of my discourse. In the evening, was enabled to be in some measure thankful, and devoted to God." During the several succeeding days we have a record like this: some seasons of dejection, mourning for being so des- titute of the exercises of grace, longing to be delivered from sin, pressing after more knowledge of God, seasons of sweet consolation, precious and intimate converse with God in se- cret prayer, sweetness of Christian conversation, etc. Rode from Suffield, to Eastbury, Hebron, and Lebanon. "A'tTf. 4. [At Lebanon.] Saw much of my nothingness most of this day : but felt concerned that I had no more sense of my insufficiency and unworthiness. O it is sweet lying in the dust ! But it is distressing to feel in my soul that hell of corruption, which still remains in me. In the afternoon, had a sense of the sweetness of a strict, close and constant devotedness to God, and my soul was comforted with his consolations. My soul felt a pleasing, yet painful concern, lest I should spend some moments without God. O may I always live to God ! In the evening, I was visited by some friends, and spent the time in prayer, and such con- versation as tended to our edification. It was a comfortable season to my soul : I felt an intense desire to spend every moment for God. God is unspeakably gracious to me continually. In times past, he has given me inexpressible sweetness in the performance of duty. Frequently my soul has enjoyed much of God ; but has been ready to say, ' Lord, it is good to be here ; ' and so to indulge sloth while I have lived on the sweetness of my feelings. But of late, God has been pleased to keep my soul hungry almost continually; so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain. When I really enjoy God, I feel my desires of him the more insatiable, and my thirstings after holiness the more unquenchable : and the Lord will not allow me to feel as though were fully supplied and satisfied, but keeps me still reaching forward. I feel barren and empty, as though I 44 MEMOIRS OF BRATNEKD. could not live, without more of God ; I feel ashamed and guilty before him. I sec that ' the law is spiritual, but I am carnal.' I do not, I can- not live to God. Oh for holiness ! O for more of God in my soul I Oh this pleasing pain ! It makes my soul press after God ; the language of it is, 'Then shall I be satisfied, when I awake in God's likeness,' but never, never before : and consequently, I am engaged to ' press towards the mark,' day by day. O that I may feel this continual hunger, and not be retarded, but rather animated by every cluster from Canaan, to reach forward in the narrow way, for the full enjoyment and possession of the heavenly inheritance I O that I may never loiter in my heavenly journey! " These insatiable desires after God and holiness, continued the next two days, with a great sense of his own exceeding un- worthiness, and the nothingness of the things of this world. " Lord's day. New. 7. [At Millington.] It seemed as if such an unholy wretch as I never could arrive at that blessedness, to be " holy as God is holy." At noon, I longed for sanctification and conformity to God. that is the all, the all. The Lord help me to press after God for ever. " Nov. 8. Towards night, enjoyed much sweetness in secret prayer, so that my soul longed for an arrival in the heavenly country, the blessed paradise of God. Through divine goodness, I have scarce seen the day for two months, in which death has not looked so pleasant to me, at one time or other of the day, that I could have rejoiced that the present should be my last, notwithstanding my present inward trials and conflicts. I trust the Lord will finally make me a conqueror, and more than a con- queror ; and that I shall be able to use that triumphant language, ' death where is thy sting ! ' And, ' O grave, where is thy victory ! ' During the next ten days, the following occurs : longing and wrestling to be holy, and to live to God ; a desire that every single thought might be for God ; feeling guilty, that his thoughts were no more swallowed up in God : sweet solem- nity and calmness of mind ; submission and resignation to God ; great weanedness from the world ; abasement in the dust ; grief at some vain conversation that was observed ; sweetness from time to time in secret prayer, and in convers- ing and praying with Christian friends. And every day he appears to have been greatly engaged in the great business of religion, and living to God, without interruption. "JVffv. 19. [At New-Haven.] Received a letter from the Rev. Mr. Pemberton, of New- York, desiring me speedily to go down thither, and j MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 45 consult about the Indian affairs in those parts ; and to meet certain gentlemen there who were intrusted with those affairs. My mind was in- stantly seized with concern ; so I retired with two or three Christian friends, and prayed : and indeed, it was a sweet time with me. I was enabled to leave myself, and all my concerns with God ; and taking leave of friends, I rode to Ripton, and was comforted in an opportunity to see and converse with dear Mr. Mills. " In the following days, he was oppressed with the weight of that great affair, about which Mr. Pemberton had written to him but was enabled to " cast his burden on the Lord," and commit himself and all his concerns to him. He continued still in a sense of the excellency of holiness, longings after it, and earnest desires for the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world and had from time to time sweet comfort in meditation and prayer. , " Nffv. 24. Came to New- York ; felt still much concerned about the importance of my business ; put up many earnest requests to God for his help and direction ; was confused with the noise and tumult of the city ; but enjoyed little time alone with God ; but my soul longed after him. "AW. 25. Spent much time in prayer and supplication : was examined by some gentlemen, of my Christian experiences, and my acquaintance with divinity, and some other studies, in order to my improvement in that important affair of evangelizing the Heathen;* and was made sensible of my great ignorance and unfitness for public service, I had the most abasing thoughts of myself, I think, that ever I had ; I thought myself the worst wretch that ever lived : it hurt me, and pained my very heart, that anybody should show me any respect. Alas ! methought how sadly they are deceived in me ! how miserably would they be disappointed if they knew my inside ! O my heart I And in this depressed condition, I was forced to go and preach to a considerable assembly before some grave and learned ministers ; but felt such a pressure from a sense of my vile- ness, ignorance and unfitness to appear in public, that I was almost over- come with it; my soul was grieved for the congregation ; that they should sit there to hear such a dead dog as I preach. I thought myself infinitely indebted to the people, and longed that God would reward them with the rewards of his grace. I spent much of the evening alone." * The persons referred to, were the Correspondents in New- York, New- Jersey, and Pennsylvania, of the Society in Scotland for propagating Christian knowledge ; to whom w.\s committed the management of their a£Eairs in those parts, and who were now met at New-York. I eg V7 46 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. CHAPTER IV. Conflicts, Delays, and final settling down to Work. ** Nffv. 26, 1742. Had still a sense of my great vileness, and en. dcavored as much as I could to keep alone. O what a nothing, what dust and ashes am I ! Enjoyed some peace and comfort in spreading my complaints before the God of all grace. " Nov. 27. Committed my soul to God with some degree of comfort; left New York about nine in the morning ; came away with a distressing sense still of my unspeakable unworthiness. Surely I may well love all my brethren ; for none of them all is so vile as I : whatever they do out- wardly, yet it seems to me none is so conscious of so much guilt before God. O my leanness, my barrenness ; my carnality, and past bitterness, ar d want of ;? gospel temper ! These things oppress my soul. Rode from New- York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and most of the way con- tinued lifting up my heart to God for mercy and purifying grace : and spent the evening much dejected in spirit. " Dec. I. My soul breathed after God, in sweet spiritual and longing desires of conformity to him ; my soul was brought to rest itself and all, on his rich grace, and felt strength and encouragement to do or suffer any thing that divine providence should allot me. Rode about twenty miles from Stratfield to Newto\fi'n." During the nine days following he went a journey from Newton to Haddam, his native town ; and after staying there some days, came to Southbury. In his account of the exer- cises of his mind, during this time, are such things as these : frequent turns of dejection ; a sense of his vileness, empti- ness, and an unfathomable abyss of desperate wickedness in his heart, attended with a conviction that he had never seen but little of it ; bitterly mourning over his barrenness, being greatly grieved that he could not live to God, to whom he owed his all ten thousand times, crying out, " My leanness my leanness ! " a sense of the meetness and suitableness of his lying in the dust beneath the feet of infinite majesty; MEMOIRS OF DRAINERD. 47 fervency and ardor in prayer ; longing to live to God ; being afflicted with some impertinent, trifling conversation that he heard ; but enjoying sweetness in Christian conversation. ^^ Dec, II. Conversed with a dear friend, to whom I had thought of giring a liberal education, and being at the whole charge of it, that he might be fitted for the gospel ministry.* I acquainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and so left him to consider of it, till I should see him again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, came to Mr. Bellamy's lodginps, and spent the evening with him in sweet conversation and prayer. We recommended the concern of sending my friend to college to the God ot all grace. Blessed be the Lord for this evening's opportunity together. '^Lord's day, Dec. 12. I felt, in the morning, as if I had little or no power either to pray or to preach; and felt a distressing need of divine help. I went to meeting trembling ; but it pleased God to assist me in prayer and sermon. I think my soul scarce ever penetrated so far into the immaterial world, in any one prayer that I ever made, nor were my devotions ever so free from gross conceptions and imaginations framed from beholding material objects. I preached with some sweetness, from Matt. vi. 33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, etc.; and in the after- noon, from Rom. xv. 30. And now I beseech you, brethren, etc. There was much affection in the assembly. This has been a sweet Sabbath to me; and blessed be God, I have reason to think that my religion is be- come more spiritual, by means of my late inward conflicts. Amen. May I aways be willing that God should use his own methods with me I "/>^w i^;. Joined in prayer with Mr. Bellamy; and found sweetness and compc ?v,re in parting with him, as he went a journey. Enjoyed some sweetness through the day ; and just at night rode down to Wood- bury. ''^ Dec. 14. Some perplexity hung on my mind ; I was distressed last night and this morning for the interest of Zion, especially on account of the false appearances of religion, that do but rather breed confusion, es- pecially in some places. I cried to God for help, to enable me to bear testimony against those things, which, instead of promoting, do but hin- * Brainbrd, having now undertaken the business of a missionary to the Indians, and expecting to spend the remainder of his life among them, and having some estate left him by his father, and thinking he should have no occasion for it among them, (though after- wards, as he told me, he found himself mistaken, — set himself to think which way he night spend it most for the glory of God ; and no way presenting to his thoughts, where- in he could do more good with it, than by being at the charge of deucating some young nan for the ministry, he fixed upon the person here spoken of. Accordingly he was •oonput to learning; and Brainrrd continued to be at the charge of his education from year to year, so lung as he lived, which was till he was carried through his third }tv in college. ^1 %k 48 MEMOIRS OF RRAINERD, der the progress of vital piety. In the afternoon, rode down to South- bury ; and conversed again with my friend about the important affair of his pursuing the worlt of the ministry; and he appeared much inclined to devote himself to that work, if God should succeed his attempts to qualify himself for so great a work. In the evening I preached from I Thess. IV. 8. He therefore that despiseth, etc, and endeavored, though with tenderness, to undermine false religion. The Lord gave me some assistance ; but, however, I seemed so vile, I was ashamed to be seen when I came out of the meeting-house. "■^ Dec. 15. Enjoyed something of God to-day, both in secret and in social prayer ; but was sensible of much barrenness and defect in duty, as well as my inability to help myself for the time to come, or to perform the work and business I have to do. Afterwards, felt much of the sweet- ness of religion, and the tenderness of the gospel-temper. I found a dear love to all mankind, and was much afraid lest some motion of anger or resentment should, some time or other, creep into my heart Had some comforting, soul-refreshing discourse with dear friends, just as we tooic our leave of each other ; and supposed it might be likely we should not meet again till we came to the eternal world.* I doubt not, through grace, but that some of us shall have a happy meeting there, and bless God for this season, as well as many others. Amen. ** Dec. 16. Rode down to Derby ; and had some sweet thoughts on the road ; especially on the essence of our salvation by Christ, from these words. Thou shalt call his name Jesus, etc. — Dec. 17. Spent much time in sweet conversation on spiritual things with dear Mr. Humphreys. Rode to Ripton; spent some time in prayer with dear Christian friends. — Dec. 18. Spent much time in prayer in the woods; and seemed raised above the things of the world: my soul was strong in the Lord of hosts; but was sensible of great barrenness. ^' LoriVs day., Dec. 19. At the sacrament of the Lord's supper I seemed strong in the Lord; and the world, with all its frowns and flatteries, in a great measure disarp ared, so that my soul had nothing to do with them; and I felt a dibpo^jition to be wholly and for ever the Lord's. In the evening enjoyed something of the divine presence ; had a humbling sense of my vileness, barrenness and sinfulness. Oh, it wounded me to think of the misimprovement of time ! God be merciful to me a sinner. — Dec. 20. Spent this day in prayer, reading, and writing; and enjoyed some assistance, especially in correcting some thoughts on a certain subject ; but had a mournful sense of my barrenness. * It had been determined by the Commissioners, that he should go to the Indians living near the Forks of Delaware river and on Susquehannah river. Pa ; which being far off, and where he would be exposed to many hardships and dangers, was the occasion of his taking leave of his friends in this manner. MEMOIRS OF BRA I NERD. 49 '^ Dec. 21. Had a sense of my insufficiency for any public work and business, as well as to live to God. I rode ovci to Derby, and preached there. It pleased God to give me very sweet assistance and enlargement, and to enable me to speak with a so^t, tender power and energy. We had afterwards a comfortable evening in singing and prayer. God enabled me to pray with as much spirituality and sweetness as I have done for some time ; my mind seenxcd to be unclothed of sense and imagination, and was in a measure let into the immaterial world of spirits. This day was, I trust, through infinite goodness, made very profitable to a number of us, to advance our scjuls in holiness and conformity to God ; the glory be to him for ever. Amen. How blessed is it to grow more and more like God. " Dec. 22. Enjoyed some assistance in preaching at Ripton ; but my soul mourned within me for my barrenness. — Dec. 23. Enjoyed, I trust, the presence of God this morning in secret. Oh, how divinely sweet is it to come into the secret of his presence, and abide in his pavilion! — Took an affectionate leave of friends, not expecting to see them again for a very considerable time, if ever in this world. Rode with Mr. Humphreys to his house in Derby ; spent the time in sweet conversation ; my sold was refreshed and sweetly melted with divine things. Oh that I was always consecrated to God! Ne.ir night, I rode to New-Haven, and there enjoyed some sweetness in prayer and conversation, with some dear Christian friends. My mind was sweetly serious and composed; but alas ! I too much lost the sense of divine things. " Lorcfs Day^ Dec. 26. Felt much sweetness and te. Jerness in pray- er, especially my whole soul seemed to love my worst enemies, and was enabled to pray for those that are strangers and enemies to God, with a great degree of softness and pathetic fervor. In the evening rode from New-Haven to Brantford, after I had kneeled down and prayed with a number of dear Christian friends in a very retired place in the woods, and so parted. "Z>ff. 27. Enjoyed a precious season indeed; had a sweet melting sense of divine things, of the pure spirituality of the religion of Christ Jesus. In the evening, I preached from Matt. vi. 33. * But seek ye first,' etc., with much freedom, and sweet power and pungency : the presence of God attended our meeting. Oh, the sweetness, the tenderness I felt in my soul I If tvcr I felt tlip tempe'" of Christ, I had some sense of it now. Blessed be my God, I have seldom enjoyed a more comfortable and profitable day than this. Oh, that I could spend all my time for God!— Dec. 28. Rode from Brantford to Iladdam. In the morning my clearness and sweetness in divine things continued : but afterwards my spiritual life sensibly declined," wmt 50 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. The next twelve days, he was for the most part extremely dejected, and distressed and was evidently very much under the power of melancholy. There are from day to day most bitter complaints of exceeding vileness, and corruption ; an amazing load of guilt, unworthiness, even to creep on God's earth, everlasting uselessness, fitness for nothing, etc. and sometimes expressions even of horror at the thoughts of ever preaching again. But yet, in this time of great dejection, he speaks of several intervals of divine help and comfort. "Jan. 14, 1743. My spiritual conflicts to-day were unspeakably dread- ful, heavier than the mountains and overflowing floods. I seeuied in- closed, as it were, in bell itself ; I was deprived of all sense of God, even of the being of a God ; and that was my misery. I had no awful appre- hension of God as angry. This was distress, the nearest akin to the damned's torments, that I ever endured : their torment, I am sure, >.'ill consist much in a privation of God, and consequently of all good. This taught me the absolute dependence of a creature upon God the Creator, for every crumb of happmess it enjoys. Oh, I feel that, if there is no God, though I might live for ever here, and enjoy not only this, but all other worlds. I should be ten thousand times more miserable than a rep- tile. My soul was in such anguish I could not eat ; but felt as I suppose a poor wretch would that is just going to the place of execution. I was almost swallowed up with anguish, when I saw people gathering to- gether to hear me preach. However, I went in that distress to the house of God, and found not much relief in the first prayer: it seemed as if God would let loose the people upon me to destroy me; nor were the thoughts of death distressing to me, like my own vileness. But afterwards in my discourse from Deut. viii. 2. God was pleased to give me some freedom and enlargement, some power ,nd spirituality; and I spent the evening somewhat comfortably." "_/<)!//. 19. [At Canterbury.] In the afternoon preached a lecture at the Meeting-house ; felt some tenderness, and somewhat of the gospel temper ; exhorted the people to love one another, and not to set up their own frames as a standard by which to try all their brethren. But was much oppressed, most of the day, with a sense of my own badness, inward impurity, and unspeakable corruption. Spent the evening in tender, Christian conversation. — Jan. 20. Rode to my brother's house between Norwich and Lebanon ; and preached in the evening to a number of peo- ple : enjoyed neither freedom nor spirituality, but saw myself exceeding unworthy. — Jan. 21. Had great inward conflicts; enjoyed but little comfori. Went to see Mr. Williams of Lebanon, and spent seven! MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. SI hou s with him ; and was greatly delighted with his serious, deliberate, and impartial way of discourse about religion. " Lord's Day Jan. 23. I scarce ever felt myself so unfit to exist as now : saw I was not worthy of a place among the Indians, where I am going, if God permit : thought I should be ashamed to look them in tlie face, and much more to have any respect shown me there. Indeed I felt myself banished from the earth, as if all places were too good for such a wretch. I thought I should be ashamed to go among the very savages of Africa ; I appeared to myself a creature fit for nothing, neither heaven nor earth. None know, but those who feel it, what the soul endures that is sensibly shut oui; from the presence of God : alas ! it is more bit- ter than death. ''Jan. 26. Preached to a pretty large assembly at Mr. Fish's meeting liouse: insisted on humility and steadfastness in keeping God's com- mands; and that through humility we should prefer one another in love, and not make our own frame the rule by which we judge others. I felt sweetly calm, and full of brotherly love : and never more free from party sr iit. I hope some good will follow ; that Christians will be freed from false joy, and party zeal, and censuring one another." On Thursday, after considerable time spent in prayer and Ciiristian conversation, he rode to New London. ''Jan. 28. Here I found some fallen into extravagancies ; too much carried away with a false zeal and bitterness. O, the want of a gospel tem- per is greatly to be lamented. Spent the evening in conversing about some points of conduct in both ministers and private Christians ; but did not agree with them. God had not taught them with briars and thorns to bi; of a kind disposition towards mankind." ,-- On Saturday he went to East-Haddam, and spent some days there during which he speaks of feeling weanedness from the world, a sense of the nearness of eternity, special assistance in praying for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, times of spiritual comfort, etc. " Feb. 2. Preached my farewell sermon last night, at the Ii-^u^e of an aged man, who had been unable to attend on the public worship ior some time. This morning spent the time in prayer, almost wherever I went ; and having taken leave of friends I set out on my journey towards the Indians ; though I was to spend some ■ time at East-Hampton, Long Island, by leave of the commissioners who employe-i me in the Indian affair;* rnd being accompanied by * The winter was not adjudged to be a convenient season to go out into the wilderness wd enter on the hardships to which he must there be expose^. mm 52 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. a messenger from East-Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On the road I felt an uncommon pressure of mind ; I seemed to struggle hard for some pleasure in something here below, and seemed loth to give up all forgone; saw I was evidently throwing myself into all hardships and distresses in my present undertaking, I thought it would be less difficult to lie down in the grave ; but yet I chose to go, rather than stay. Came to Lyme that night." He waited the next two days for a passage over the sound and spent much of the time in inward conflicts and dejection, but had some comfort. On Saturday he crossed the sound and travelled to East-Hampton. And the seven following days he spent there, for the most part, under extreme dejec- tion and gloominess of mind with great complaints of dark- ness, ignorance, etc. Yet his heart appears to have been constantly engaged in the great business of religion, much concerned for the interest of religion in East Hampton, and praying and laboring much for it. '■'■Feb. 12. Enjoyed a little more comfort; was enabled to meditats with some composure of mind ; and especially in the evening, found my soul more refreshed in prayer, than at any time of late ; my soul seemed to ' take hold of God's strength,' and was comforted with his consola- tions. O, how sweet are some glimpses of divine glory ! how strengthen- ing and quickening ! " Lord's day, Feb. /j. At noon, under a great degree of discourage- ment ; knew not how it was possible for me to preach in the afternoon. I was ready to give up ail for gone ; but God was pleased to assist nie in some measure. In the evening my heart was sweetly drawn out after God, and devoted to him. "Feb. /J. Early in the day I felt some comfort ; afterwards I walked into a neighboring grove, and felt more as a stranger on earth, I think, than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoyments of the world, as if I had been dead in a natural sense. In the evening had divine sweetness in secret duty ; God was then my portion, and my soul rose above those deep waters, into which I have sunk so low of late. My soul then cried for Aion, and had sweetness in so doing. *• Feb. 17. In the morning, found myself comfortable, and rested on God in some measure. — Preached this day at a little village belonging to East-IIampton ; and God was pleased to give me his gracious presence and assistance, so that I spake with freedom, boldness, and some power. In the evening spent some time with a dear Christian friend; and felt MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, sz serious, as on the brink of eternity. My soul enjoyed sweetness in lively apprehension of standing before the glorious Ood : prayed with my dear triend with sweetness, and discoursed with the utmost solemnity. y\nd, truly it was a little emblem of heaven itself. — I find my soul is more re- fip.ed and weaned from a dependence on my frames and spiritual feelings. " Feb. i8. Felt somewhat sweetly most of the day, and found access to the throne of grace. Blessed be the Lord for any intervals of heavenly deligb" and compc':ure, while I am engaged in the field of battle. Oh, that I might be serious, solemn, and always vigilant, while in an evil world ! Had some opportunity alone to-day, and found some freedom in study. O, I long to live to God ! " Feb. 19. Was exceeding infirm to-day, greatly troubled with pain in my head and dizziness, scarce able to sit up. However, enjoyed some- thing of God in prayer, and performed some necessary studies. I ex- ceedingly longed to die ; and yet, through divine goodness, have felt very willing to live, for two or three days past. " Lord's day, Feb. 20. I was perplexed on account of my careless- ness i thought I could not be suitably concerned about the important work of the day, and so was restless with my easiness. Was exceeding infirm again to-day ; but the Lord strengthened me, both in the outward and inward laan, so that I preached with some life and spirituality, es- pecially in the afternoon, wherein I was enabled to speak closely against selfish religion ; that loves Christ for his benefits, but not for himself." During the next fortnight, it appears that for the most part he enjoyed much spiritual peace and comfort. In his diary are expressed such things as these : mourning over in- dwelling sin, and unprofitableness ; deadness to the world ; longing "''tvT God, and to live to his glory ; heart melting de- sires a' . ' 'i , eternal home ; fixed reliance on God for his help; e:v if ce of much divine assistance, both in the pri- vate and pur, Jc exercises of religion ; inward strength and courage in the service of God ; very frequent refreshment, consolation, and divine sweetness in meditation, prayer, preaching, and Christian conversation. And it appears by his account, that this space of time was nlled up with great dili- gence and earnestness in serving God, in study, prayer, medi- tation, ^reaching and privately instructing and counselling. " i): \- /« 7. This mcrning when I arose, I found my heart go forth^ liter God in longing desires of conformity to him, and in secret prayer wmmm 54 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. found myself sweetly quickened and drawn out in praises to God for all he had done to and for me, and for all my inward trials and distresses of late. My heart ascribed glory, glory, glory to the blessed God ! and bid welcome to all inward distress again, if God saw meet to exercise me with it. Time appeared but an inch long, and eternity at hand ; and I thought I could with patience and cheerfulness bear anything for the cause of God ; for I saw that a moment would bring me to a world of peace and blessedness. My soul, by the strength of the Lord, rose far above tliis lower world, and all the vain amusements and frightful disappointments of it. Afterwards, had some sweet meditation on Genesis v. 24. ' And Enoch walked with God,' etc. This was a comfortable day to my soul, " March. 9. Endeavored to commit myself, and all my concerns to God. Rode sixteen miles to Montauk,* and had some inward sweetness on the road; '^ut somewhat of flatness and deadness after I came there and had s .• *■. Indians. I withdrew and endeavored to pray, but found myself awfu.i iserted and left, anc* had an afflicting sense of my vileness and meanness. However, I went and preached from Is. liii. 10. ' Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise ^itn,' etc. Had some assistance ; and I trust somewhat of the divine p'ssence was among us. In the evening, I again prayed and exhorted SJ-Taong them, after having had a season alone, wherein I was so pj-essed «ence and grace, that we may perform the work, and endure the trials he calls us to, in a most distress- ing tiresome wilderness, till we arrive at our journey's end ; the local dis- tance, at which we are held from each other, at present is a matter of no great moment or importance to either of us. But alas I the presence of God is what I want. I live in the most lonely melancholy desert, about eighteen miles from Albany ; for it was not thought best that I should go to Delaware River, as I believe I hinted to you in a letter from New- York, I board with a poor Scotchman ; his wife can talk scarce any English. My diet consists mostly of hasty-pudding, boiled corn, and bread baked in the ashes, and sometimes a little meat and butter. My lodging is a little heap of straw, laid upon some boards a little way froiu MEMOIRS OF BRAFNERD. 6l the ground ; for it is a log room, without any floor, that I lodge in. My work is exceedingly hard and difficult ; I travel on foot a mile and a half, tlic worst of ways, almost daily, and back again ; for I live so far from my Indians. I have not seen an English person this month. These and many other circumstances, equally uncomfortable, attend nie ; and yet my spirit- ual conflicts and distresses, so far exceed all these, that I scarce think of them, or hardly observe that I am not entertained in the most sumptuous manner. The Lord grant that I may learn to • endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ ! ' " As to my success here, I cannot say much as yet. The Indians seem generally kind, and well disposed towards me, are mostly very attentive to my instructions, and seem willing to be taught further. Two or three, 1 hope, are under some convictions ; but there seems to be little of the special workings of the divine Spirit among them yet; which gives me many a heart-sinking hour. Sometimes I hope that God has abundant blessings in store for them and me ; but at other times I am so over- whelmed with distress, that I cannot sc- how his dealings with me are consistent with covenant love and faithfulness: and I say, * Surely his tender mercies are clean gone for ever.' But however, I see that I needed all this chastisement already : ' It is good for me,' that I have endured these trials, and have hitherto little or no apparent success. Do not be discouraged by my distresses. I was under great distress, at Mr. Pomroy's, when I saw you last ; but ' God has been with me of a truth,' since that: he helped me sometimes sweetly at Long-Island, and elsewhere. But let us always remember, that we must through much tribulation, enter into God's eternal kingdom of rest and peace. The righteous are scarcely saved: it is an infinite wonder that we have well grounded hopes of being saved at all. For my part, I feel the most vile of any creature living; and I am sure sometimes, there is not such another existing on this side hell. Now all you can do for me, is, to pray incessantly that God would make me humble, holy, resigned, and heavenly minded, by all my trials. 'Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.' Let us run, wrestle, and fight, that we may win the prize, and obtain that complete happiness, to be ' holy, as God is holy.' So wishing and praying that you may advance in learning and grace, and be fit for special service for God, I remain your affectionate brother, " David Brainerd. ^^ Lord's day ^ May I. Was at Stockbridge to-day. In the forenoon, had some relief and assistance ; though not so much as usual. In the afternoon, felt poorly in body and soul ; while I was preaching, seemed to be rehearsing idle tales, without the least life, fervor, sense or comfort; and especially afterwards at the sacrament, my soul was filled with con- fusion, and the utmost anguish that ever I endured, under the feeling of SI i UJ 63 MEMOIRS OF BR AT NERD, I my inexpressible vilcncss and meanness. It was a most bitter and di^ tressing season to me, by reason of the view I had of my own heart, and the secret abominations that lurk there ; I thought that the eyes of all in the house were upon me, and I dared not look any one in the face ; for it verily seemed as if they saw the vilcness of my heart, and all the sins I had ever been guilty of. And if I had been banished from the presence of all mankind, never to be seen any more, or so much as thought of, still I should have been distressed with shame ; and I should have been ashamed to see the most barbarous people on earth, because I was viler, and seemingly more brutishly ignorant than they. ' I am made to possess the sins of my youth.' "May lo. Was in the same state, as to my mind, that I have been in for some time; extremely oppressed with a sense of guilt, pollution, and blindness : 'The iniquity of my heels hath compassed me about; the sins of my youth have been set in order before me ; they have gone over my head, as a heavy burden, too heavy for me to bear.' Almost all tlic actions of my life past, seem to be covered over with sin and guilt ; and those of them that I performed in the most conscientious manner, now fill me with shame and confusion, that I cannot hold up my face. O, the pride, selfishness, hypocrisy, ignorance, bitterness, party zeal and the want of love, candor, meekness, and gentleness, that have attended • • attempts to promote religion and virtue ; and this when I have reas' hope I had real assistance from above, and some sweet intercourse heaven ! But alas, what corrupt mixtures attended my best duties ! " The next seven days, his gloom and distress continued for the most part, but he had some turns of relief and spirit- ual comfort. He gives an account of his spending part of this time in hard labor, to build himself a little cottage to live in amongst the Indians, in which he might be by him- self ; having, it seems hitherto lived with a poor Scotchman, as he observes in the letter just now given ; and afterwards, before his own house was habitable, he lived in a wigwam among the Indians. " May i8. My circumstances are such, that I have no comfort of any kind, but what I have in God. I live in the most lonesome wilderness; have but one single person to converse with that can speak English.* * TYiis was his interpreter, an ingenious young Indian, belonging to Stockbridge, whose name was John Wauwaumpequunnaunt. He had been instructed in the Christian religion, by Mr. Sergeant ; had lived with the Rev. Mr. Williams, of Lonfj Meadow, and been instructed by him, and understood both English and Indian very well, and wrote a good hand MEMOIRS OF BRATNEKD. 63 Most of the talk I hear, is eit'ocr Highland Scotch, or Indian. I have no fellow-Christian to whom I may unbosom myself, or lay open my spiritu.il sorrows ; with whom I may take sweet counsel in conversation about heavenly things, and join in social prayer. I live poorly with re- gard to the comforts of life : most of my diet consists of boiled corn, hasty-pudding, etc. I lodge on a bundle of straw, my labor is hard and extremely difficult, and I have little appearance of success, to comfort me. The Indians have no land to live on, but what the Dutch people lay claim to ; and these threaten to drive them off. They have no regard to the souls of the poor Indians ; and by what I can learn, they hate mc because I come to preach to them. But that which makes all my diffi- culties grievous to be borne, is, that God hides his face from mc. "A/oy ig. Spent most of this day in close study : but was sometimes so distressed that I could think of nothing but my spiritual blindness, ignorance, pride, and misery. O I have reason to make that prayer, 'Lord, forgive my sins of youth, and former trespasses.' " May r'.Q. Was much perplexed some part of the day ; but towards night, had some comfortable meditations on Is. xl. i. Comfort ye, Com- fort ye, etc., and enjoyed some sweetness in prayer. Afterwards, my soul rose so far above the deep waters, that I dared tc joice in God. I saw that there was sufficient matter of consolation in the blessed God." The next nine days, his burdens were for the most part alleviated, but with variety; at some times, having considera- ble consolation ; and at others, being more depressed. The next day, he set out on a journey to New Jersey, to consult the commissioners who employed him about the affairs of his mission.* He journey in four days ; and arrived at Mr. Burr's in Newark on Thursday. In great part of his jour- ney, he was in the depths of melancholy, under distresses like those already mentioned. On Friday, he rode to Elizabeth- town ; and on Saturday to New York ; and from thence on his way homewards as far as White Plains. There he spent the Sabbath, and had considerable degrees of divine consola- tion and assistance in public services. On Monday, he rode about sixty miles to New Haven. There he attempted a reconciliation with the Faculty of the college ; and spent ' His business with the commissioners now was, to obtain orders for tbem to set up a school among the Indians at Kaunaumeek, and that his interpreter might be appointed the schoolmaster, which was qpcordingly done. U4 64 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. this week in visiting his friends in those parts, and in his journey homewards, till Saturday, in a pretty comfortable frame of mind. On Saturday, in his way from Stockbridgc to Kaunaumeek, he was lost in the woods, and lay all night in the open air ; but happily found his way in the morning, and came to his Indians on Lord's day, June 12, and had greater assistance in preaching among them than ever before, since his first coming among them. From this time forward he was the subject of various frames and exercises of mind : in the general, much after the same manner as hitherto, from his first coming to Kaunau- meek till he got into his own house, (a little hut, which he made chiefly with his own hands, by long and hard labor,) which was near seven weeks from this time. The great part of this time, he was dejected and depressed with melan- choly; sometimes extremely; his melancholy operating in like manner as related in times past. How it was with him in those dark seasons, he himself further describes in his diary for July 2, in the following manner : — " My soul is, and has for a long time been in a piteous condition, wading through a series of sorrows, of various kinds. I have been su crushed down sometimes with a sense of my meanness and infinite un- worthiness, that I have bc^n ashamed that any, even the meanest of my fellow-creatures, should so much is spend a thought about me ; and have wished sometimes, while iraveling among the thick brakes, to drop, as one of them, into cvci lasting oblivion. In this case, sometimes I have almost resolved never again to see any of my acquaintance ; and really thought, I could not do it and hold up my face ; and have longed for the remotest region, for a retreat from all my friends, that I might not be seen or heard of any more. Sometimes the consideration of my igiwr ance has been a means of my great distress and anxiety. And especially my soul has been in anguish with fear, shame, and guilt, that ever I had preached, or had any thought that way. Sometimes my soul has been in distress on feeling some particular corruptions rise and swell like a mighty torrent, with present violence ! having, at the same time, ten thousand former sins and follies presented to view, in all their blackness and aggravations. And these, while destitute cf most of the conven- iences of life, and I may say, of all the pleasures of it; w'hout a friend to communicate any of my sorrows to, and sometimes without any place MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 65 of retirement, where I may unburden my soul before God, which has greatly contributed to my distress. Of late, more especially, my great difficulty has been a sort of carelessness, a kind of regardless temper of mind, whence I have been disposed to indolence and trifling : and this temper of mind has constantly been attended with guilt and shame ; so that sometimes I have been in a kind of horror, to find myself so unlike the l)lessed God. I have thought I grew worse under all my trials ; and nothing has cut and wounded my soul more than this, O, if I am one of God's chosen, as I trust through infinite grace I am, I find of a truth, that the righteous are scarcely saved. " It is apparent, that one main occasion of that distressing gloominess of mind which he was so much exercised with at Kaunaumeek, was reflection on his past errors and misguided zeal at college, in the beginning of the late religious commo- tions. And therefore he repeated his endeavors this year for reconciliation with the governors of the college, whom he had at that time offended. Although he had been at New Haven, in June, this year, and attempted a reconciliation, as mentioned already ; yet, in the beginning of July, he made another journey thither, and renewed his attempt, but still in vain. Although he was much dejected, most of the time, yet he had many intermissions of his melancholy, and some seasons of comfort, sweet tranquility and resignation of mind, and frequent special assistance in public services, as appears in his diary. The manner of his relief from his sorrow, once in particular, is worthy to be mentioned in his own words. '■^ July 25. Had little or no resolution for a life of lioliness ; was ready almost to renounce my hopes of living to God. And O how dark it looked, to think of being unholy for ever ! This I could not endurf^ The cry of my soul was, Psal. Ixv. 3. Iniquities prevail -".gainst me. Hut I was in some measure relieved by a comfortable meditation on God's eternity, that he never had a beginning. Whence I was led to admire his greatness and power, in such a manner, that I stood still, and praised the Lord for his own glories and perfections ; though I was (and if T should for ever be) an unholy creature, my soul was comforted to appre- hend an eternal, infinite, powerful, holy God. "/"(v 30- Just at night, moved into my own house, and lodged there ■■«!? 66 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. that night ; found it much better spending the time alone than in the wigwam where I was before. "Lord's Day, July 2,1. Felt more comfortably than some days past. Blessed be the Lord, who has now given me a place of retirement. Oh that I may find God in it, and that he would dwell with me for ever ! " Aug. I. Was still busy in further labors on my house. Felt a little of the sweetness of religion, and thought that it was worth while to follow after God through a thousand snares, deserts, and death itself. Oh that I might always follow after holiness, that I may be fully conformed to God I Had some degree of sweetness in secret prayer, though I had much sorrow. " Aug. 2. Was still laboring to make myself more comfortable, with regard to my house and lodging. Labored under spiritual anxiety : It seemed to me that I deserved to be thrust out of the world ; yet found some comfort in committing my cause to God It is good for me to bi- afflicted, that I may die wholly to this world, and all that is in it. " Aug. 3. Spent most of the day in writing. Enjoyed some sense of religion. Through divine goodness I am now uninterruptedly alone ; and find my retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed more sense of di- vine things within a few days last past, than for some time before. I longed after holiness, humility and meekness ; Oh that God would en- able me to * pass the time of my sojourning here in his fear,' and always live to him ! " Aiig. 4. Was enabled to pray much through the whole day ; and through divine goodness found some intenseness of soul in the duty, as I used to do, and some ability to persevere in my supplications. I had some apprehensions of divine things which afforded me courage and res- olution. It is good, I find, to persevere in attempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perseverance, i. e. continue long in my addresses to the divine Being. I have generally found, that the more I do in secret prayer, the more I have delighted to do, and have enjoyed more of a spiricof prayer: and frequently have found the contrary, when with journeying or other- wise T have been much deprived of retirement. A seasonable, steady performance of secret duties in their proper hours, and a careful improve- ment of all time, filling up every hour with some profitable labor, either of heart, head, or hands, are excellent means of spiritual peace and bold- ness before God. Christ, indeed, is our peace, an*^' by him we have boldness of access to God ; but a good conscience, void of offence, is an excellent preparation for an approach into the divine presence. There is a difference between self-confidence or a self-righteous pleasing of our- selves — as with our own duties, attainments, and spiritual enjoyments- of which good men are sometimes guilty, and that holy confidence arising MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 67 from the testimony of a good conscience, which good Hezekiah had, when he says, ' Remember, O Lord, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth, and with a perfect heart.' Then, says the holy psalmist, shall I not be ashamed when I have respect to all thy com- mandments. Filling up our time with and for God, is the way to rise up and lie down in peace." The next eight days, he continued for the most part in a very comfortable frame, having his mind fixed and sweetly en- gaged in religion ; and more than once blesses God, that he had given him a little cottage,where he might live alone, and enjoy a happy retirement, free from noise and disturbance, and could at any hour of the day lay aside all studies, and spend time in lifting up his soul to God for spiritual blessings. "i^w^. 13. Was enabled in secret prayer to raise my soul to God with desire and delight. It was indeed a blessed season. I found the comfort of being a Christian ; and counted the sufferings of the present life not worthy to be compared with the glory of divine enjoyments even in this world. All my past sorrows seemed kindly to disappear, and I 'remembered no more the sorrow, for joy.' — (), how kindly, and with what a filial tenderness, the soul confides in the Rock of Ages, at such a season, that he will ' never leave it, nor forsake it,' that he will cause 'all things to work together for its good !' I longed that othjrs should know how good a God the Lord is. My soul was full of tend' mess and love, even to the most inveterate of my enemies. I nrncstly desired that they should share in the same mercy ; and loved tl Ciod should do just as he pleased with me and everything else. I felt pec iliarly serious calm, and peaceful, and encouraged to press after holiness as Inn- is I live, whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way. May the Loid always help me so to do ! Amen, and Amen. '■'■Lord's day Aug. 14. I had much more freedom in public, than in private. God enabled me to speak with some feeling sense of divine things; but perceived no considerable effect. — " Aug. 15. Spent most of the day in labor, to procure something to keep my horse on in the winter. Enjoyed not much sweetness in the morning ; was very weak in body through the day ; and thought that this frail body would soon drop into the dust ; and had some very realizing apprehensions of a speedy entrance into another world. In this weak state of body, I was not a little dis- tressed for want of suitable food. I had no bread, nor could I get any. 1 am forced to go or send ten or fifteen miles for all the bread I eat ; and sometimes it is mouldy and sour before I eat it, if I get any considerable P ' » 3 66 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, quantity. And then again I have none for some days together, for want of an opportunity to send for it, and cannot find my horse in the woods to go myself ; and this was my case now ; but through divine goodness I had some Indian meal, of which I made little cakes, and fried them. Yet I felt contented with my circumstances, and sweetly resigned to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom ; and blessed God as much for my pres- '^nt circumstances, as if I had been a king ; and thought that I found a disposition to be contented in any circumstances. Blessed be God. " The rest of this week, he was exceedingly weak in body, and much exercised with pain ; yet obliged from day to day to labor hard to procure fodder for his horse. Except some part of the time, he was so very ill, that he was neither able to work nor study ; but speaks of longings after holiness and perfect conformity to God. He complains of enjoying but little of God : yet he says, that little was better to him, than all the world besides. In his diary for Saturday, he says, he was somewhat melancholy and sorrowful in mind ; and adds, " I never feel comfortably, but when I find my soul going forth after God. If I cannot be holy I must necessarily be miserable for ever." " Lord's day, Aug. 21. Was much straitened in the forenoon exercise; my thoughts seemed to be all scattered to the ends of the earth. .Vt noon, I fell down before the Lord, groaned under my vileness, barrenness, and deadness ; and felt as if I was guilty of soul-murder, in speaking to immortal souls in such a manner as I had then done. In the afternoon, God was pleased to give me some assistance, and I was enabled to set before my hearers the nature and necessity of true repentance. After- wards, had some small degree of thankfulness. Was very ill and full of pain in the evening ; and my soul mourned that I had spent so much time to so little profit. " Aug. 22. Spent most of the day in study; and found my bodily strength in a measure restored. Had some intense and passionate breath- ings of soul after holiness, and very clear manifestations of my utter in- ability to procure, or work it in myself; it is wholly owing to the power of God. O, with what tenderness the love and desire of holiness fills the soul I I wanted to wing out of mvself to God, or rather to get a con- formity to him : but, alas ! I cannot add to my stature in grace one cubit However, my soul can never leave striving for t ; or at least groaning, that it cannot strive for it, and obtain more purity of heart. At night I mniy mm MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 69 spent some time in instructing my poor people. Oh that God would pity their souls I "AnQ, 23. Studied in the forenoon, and enjoyed some freedom. In the afternoon, labored abroad ; endeavored to pray ; but found not much sweetness or intenseness of mind. Towards night was very weary, and tired of this world of sorrow ; the thoughts of death and immortality ap- peared very desirable, and even refreshed my soul. Those lines turned in my mind with pleasure : ' Come death, shake hands ; I'll kiss thy bands ; 'Tis happiness for me to die. — What!— dost ihoii think, that I will shrink ? I'll go to immortality.' In evening prayer, God was pleased to draw near my soul, though very sinful and unworthy ; so that I was enabled to wrestle with God, and to jjcrsevere in my requests for grace. I poured out my soul for all the world, friends and enemies. My soul was concerned, not so much for souls as such, but rather for Christ's kingdom, that it might appear in the wodd, that God might be known to be God, in the whole earth. And O my soul abhorred the very thought of a party in religion ! Let the truth of God appear, wlierever it is : and God have the glory for ever. Amen. This was indeed, a comfortable season. I thought I had some small taste of, and real relish for the enjoyments and employments of the upper world. O that my soul was more attempered to it I "Ait^. 24. Spent some time, in the morning, in study and prayer. Afterwards was engaged in some necessary business abroad. Towards night, found a little time for some particular studies. I thought, if God should say , ' Cease making any provision for this life, for you shall in a few days go out of time into eternity,' my soul would leap for joy. Oh that I may both ' desire to be dissolved, to be with Christ,' and likewise 'wait patiently all the days of my appointed time till my change come!' But, alas ! I am very unfit for the business and blessedness of heaven. Oh for more holiness! "i4«^. 25. Part of the day was engaged in studies ; and part in labor abroad. I find it is impossible to enjoy peace and tranquility of mind, without a careful improvement of time. This is really an imitation of God and Christ Jesus : ' My Father worketh hitherto, and I work,' says our Lord. But still if we would be like God, we must see that we fill up our time for him. I daily long to dwell in perfect light and love. In the mean time, my soul mourns that I make so little progress in grace, and preparation for the world of blessedness ; I see and know that I am a very barren tree in God's vineyard, and that he might justly say, * Cut it •If* u~» ISP* 25 70 MEMOIRS OF nRAINERD. down,' etc. Oh that God would make me more lively and vigorous ii grace, for his own glory ! Amen. '• Lord's day, Aug. 28. Was much perplexed with some irreligious Dutchmen. All their discourse turned upon the things of the world; which was no small exercise to my mind. O what a hell it would be to spend an eternity with such m'jn ! Well might David say, ' I beheld the transgressors, and was grieved.' But, adored be God, heaven is a place into which no unclean thing enters. O I long for the holiness of that world ! Lord prepare me for it." The next clay he set out on a journey to New York. Was somewhat dejected the two first days of his journey ; but yet seems to have enjoyed some degrees of the sensible presence of God. '^ Aug. 31. Rode down to Bethlehem ; was in a sweet, serious, and, I hope Christian frame, when I came there. Eternal things engrossed all my thoughts ; and T longed to be in the world of spirits. O how happy is it, to have all our thoughts swallowed up in that world; to feel one's self a serious, considerate stranger in this world diligently seeking a road through it, the best, the sure road to the heavenly Jerusalem ! "Sept. I. Rode to Danbury. Was more dull and dejected in spirit, than yesterday. Indeed, I always feel comfortably, when God realizes death, and the things of another world, to my mind. Whenever my mind is taken off from the things of this world, and set on God, my soul is then at rest." He reached New York the next Monday. After tarryins; there two or three days, he set out from that city towards New Haven, intending to be there at the Commencement ; and, on Friday, came to Horseneck. He complains much of dull- ness, and want of fervor in religion ; but yet, from time to ti.Tie, speaks of his enjoying spiritual warmth and sweetness in conversation with Christian friends, and assistance in pub- lic services. ** Sept. 10. Rode six miles to Stanwich, and preached to a consider- able assembly of people. Had some assistance and freedom, especially towards the close. Endeavored much afterwards in private conversation to establish holiness, humility, meekness, etc., as the essence of true re- ligion ; and to moderate some noisy sort of persons, who appeared to me to be actuated by unseen spiritual pride, Alas, into what extremes men in- cline to run ! Returned to Horseneck ; and felt some seriousness and sweet solemnity in the evening. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 7« " Lord's day, Sept. ii. In the afternoon I preached from Tit. iii, 8. This is a faillilul saying, and these things etc. 1 think God never helped me more in painting true religion, and in detecting clearly, and tenderly discountenancing false appearances of religion, wild-fire party-zeal, spir- itual pride, etc., as well as a confident dogmatical spirit, and its spring, viz. ignorance of the heart. In the evening, took much pains in private conversation to suppress some confusions, which I perceived were among that people. " Sept 12. Rode to Mr. Mills' at Ripton. Had some perplexing hours ; but was some part of the day very comfortable. ' It is through great trials,* I see, ' that we must enter the gates of Paradise.' If my soul could but be holy, that God might not be dishonored, methinks I could bear sorrows. "Sept. 7j. Rode to New-Haven. Was sometimes dejected; not in the sweetest frame. Lodged at****. Had some profitable Christian conversation. I find, though my inward trials were great, and a life of solitude gives them greater advantage to settle, and penetrate to the very inmost recesses of the soul ; yet it is better to be alone than incumbered with noise and tumult. I find it very difficult maintaining any bense of divine things, while removing from place tc place, diverted with new ob- jects, and filled with care and business. A settled, steady business, is best adapted to a life of strict religion. ^^ Sept. 14. This day I ought to have taken my degree; [this being Commencement day] but God sees fit to deny it me. And though I was greatly afraid of being overwhelmed with perplexity and confusion, when I should see my classmates take theirs ; yet, at the very time, God en- abled me with calmness and resignation to say, ' the will of the Lord be done,' Indeed, through divine goodness, I have scarcely felt my mind so calm, sedate, and comfortable, for some time. I have long feared this season, and expected my humility, meekness, patience, and resignation, would be much tried;* but found much more pleasure and divine comfort, than I expected. Felt spiritually serious, tender and affectionate in private prayer with a dear Christian friend to-day. " Sept. ij. Had some satisfaction in hearing the ministers discourse. It is always a comfort to me, to hear religious and spiritual conversation. that ministers and people were ir^cre spiritual and devoted to God I *His trial was the greater, in that, had it not been for the displeasure of the governors of the college, he would not only on that day have shared with his class. >iates in the pub- lic honors which they then received, but would have appeared at the head of that class; which, if he had been with them, would have been the most numerous of any that ever had graduated at that college ~. 0:5 ^ >• ;r3 72 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. Towards night with the advice of Christian friends, T offered the fnllovT iiig reflections in writing, tu the rector and trustees of the college— whicli are, for substance, the same that I had freely offered the rector before, and intreated him to accept — that, if possible I might cut off all occasion of offense, from those who seek occasion. What I offered is as follows : " ' Whereas I have said before several persons concerning Mr. Whittei- sey, one of the tutors of Yale College, that I did not believe he had any more grace than the chair I then leaned upon; I humbly confess, that herein I have sinned against God, and acted contrary to the rules of his word, and have injured Mr. Whittelsey. I had no right to make thus free with his character; and had no just reason to say as I did concern ing him. My fault herein was the more aggravated, in that I said this con- cerning one who was so much my superior, and one whom I was obliged to treat with special respect and honor, by reason of the relation I stood in to him in the college. Such a manner of behavior, I confess, did not be- come a Christian ; it was taking too much upon me, and did not savor of that humble respect, which I ought to have expressed towards Mr. Whit- telsey. I have long since been convinced of the falseness of those appre- hensions, by which I then justified such a conduct. I have often reflected on this act with grief; I hope on account of the sin of it; and am willing to lie low, and be abased before God and man for it I humbly ask the forgiveness of the governors of the college, and of l.he whole society ; but of Mr. Whittelsey in particular. And whereas I have been accused by one person of saying concerning the reverend rector of Yale College, that I wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for fining the scholars that followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, I seriously profess, that I do not remember my saying anything to this purpose. But if I did, which I am not certain I did not, I utterly condemn it, and detest all such kind of be- havior ; and especially in an undergraduate towards the rector. And I now appear to judge and condemn myself for going once to the separate meeting in New-Haven, a little before I was expelled, though the rector had refused to give me leave. For this, I humbly ask the rector's for- giveness. And whether the governors of the college shall ever see cause to remove the academical censure I lie under or no, or to admit me to the privileges I desire, yet I am willing to appear, if they think fit, openly to own, and to humble myself for those things I have herein confessed.' " 'God has made me willing to do anything that I can do, consistent with truth, for the sake of peace, and that I might not be a stumbling block to others. For this reason I can cheerfully forego, and give up what I verily believe, after the most mature and impartial search is my right, in some instances. God has given me the disposition, that, i. i man has done me an hundred injuries, and I (though ever so much MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. 73 provoked to it) have done him only otic, I feel disposed, and heartily willing, humbly to confess my iault to him, and on my knees to ask for- giveness of him; though at the same time he should justify himself in all the injuries he has done me, and should only make use of my humble con- fession to blacken my character the more, and represent me as the oniy person guilty ; yea, though he should as it were insult me, and say, ' he knew all this before, and that I was making work for repentance.' Though what I said concerning Mr. Whittelsey was only spoken in private, w a friend or two ; and being partly overheard, was related to the rector, and by him extorted from my friends; yet, seeing it was divulged and made public, I was willing to confess my fault therein publicly. But I trust God will plead my cause.' " I was witness to the very Christian spirit which Brainerd showed at that time ; being then at New-Haven, and one whom he thought fit to consult on that occasion. This was my first opportunity of a personal acquaintance with him.* There truly appeared in him a great degree of calmness and humility ; without the least appearance of rising of spirit for any ill treatment which he supposed he had suffered or the least backwardness to abase himself before them, who as he thought, had wronged him. What he did was without any objection or appearance of reluctance, even in private to his frieiid.5, to whom he freely opened himself. Earnest applica- tion was made on his behalf to the authority of the college, that he might have his degree then given him ; and particular- * [Here begins the /frjo^W acquaintance ol \\\es& two remarkable men — the one the greatest theologian and preacher of New England, and the other the missionary saint of ihe Modern Church — drawn to each otiier and thtir hearts cemented by the common at- traction of the Cross. Providence so arranged that, when Brainerd's brief ministry had closed, he should find an .isylum and end his self-denying life in the home of ihe pastor I'f Northampton, where of all places on earth it was fitting that such a man, after such a life of solitariness and self-denial should die, attended by such gentle. Christian ministries ashetheic received. And the same gracious Providence that gave to New England in tier colonial days these two great ajxistles of Christian Doctrine and Christian Life, also ordered it tliat the same pen which wrote the immortal History of tJu Work of Re- dtmption, The Freedom of the Will, and a Treatise on the Religious Affections, sliDuId give to the world, Brainerd's Biography — the simple yet wondrous account w a religious experience, and of a missionary life among the Indians, in the then "wil- derness" part of our land, that should be read with wonder and with tears throughout thrhtf-Tidnm, and travel down the centuries on its blessed mission of instructive testi- mony. Tlie writer has elsewhere briefly expressed his views as to the singular injustice wne to Brainerd by the College authorities, as well as the eminent Christian spirit shown ''y him under extreme provocation.— J. M. S.J SI SEj — t g 74 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. ly by the Rev. Mr. Burr of Newark, one of the correspondents of the honorable society in Scotland ; he being sent from New Jersey to New-Haven, by the rest of the commissioners, for that end ; and many arguments were used, but without success. Indeed, the governors of the college were so far satisfied with the reflections which Brainerd had made on himself, that they appeared willing to admit him again into college ; but not to give him his degree, till he should have remained there at least twelvemonths, which being contrary to what the correspondents, to whom he was now engaged, had declared to be their mind, he did not consent to it. He desired his degree, as he thought it would tend to his being more extensively useful ; but still when he was denied it, he manifested no disappointment or resentment. The next day he \/ent to Derby ; then to Southbury, where he spent the Sabbath ; and speaks of some spiritual comfort, but com- plains much of unfixedness, and wanderings of mind in re- ligion. "Sept. 19. In the afternoon, rode to Bethlehem, and there preached. Had some measure of assistance, both in prayer and preaching. I felt serious, kind and tender towards all mankind, and longed that holiness mig! t flourish more on earth. ^' Sept. 20. Had thoughts of jroing forward on my journey to my Indians; but towards night was taken with a hard pain in my teeth, and shivering cold ; and could not possibly recover a comfortable degree of warmth the whole night following. I continued very full of pain all night; and in the morning had a very hard fever, and pains almost over my whole body. I had a sense of the divine goodness in appointing this to be the place of my sickness, among my friends, who were very kind to me. 1 should probably have perished, if I had first got home to my own house in the wilderness, where I have none tc converse with but the poor, rude, ignorant Indians. Here, I saw, was mercy in the midst of affliction. I continued thus, mostly confined to my bed, till Friday night ; verv full of pain most of the time; but through divine goodness, not afraid of death. Then the extreme folly of those appeared to me, who put off their turn- ing to God till a sick bed. Surely this is not a time proper to prepare for eternity. On Friday evening my pains went off somewhat suddenly. I was exceedingly weak, and ?''nost fainted ; but was very comfortabi: the night following. These words, (Psal. cxviii. 17.) 'I shall not die, MEMOIRS OF liRA/NEKD. 75 hilt live,' etc., I frequently revolved in my miiul, and thought we were (ii prize the continuation of life, only on this account, tliat wc may 'show forth (lod's goodness and works of grace.'" Kroin this time he grackially recovered and in a few days was able to go forward on his journey ; but it was not till the Tuesday following, that he reached Kaunaumeek. He seems, great part of this time, to have had a very deep and lively sense of the vanity and emptiness of all things here below, and of the reality, nearness, and vast importance of eternal things. " Oct. 4. This day rode home to my own house and people. The poor Indians appeared very glad of my return. Found my house and all tilings in safety. I presently fell on my knees, and blessed God for my safe return, after a long and tedious journey, and a season of sickness in several places where I had been, and after I had been ill myself. God has renewed his kindness to me, in preserving me one journey more. I have taken many considerable journeys since this time last year, and yet (jod lias never suffered one of my bones to be broken, or any distressing calamity to befal me, excepting the ill turn I had in my last journey. I have been often exposed to cold and hunger in the wilderness, where the comforts of life were not to be had : have frequently been lost in the woods; and sometimes obliged to ride much of the r''j;ht; and once lay out in the woods all night ; yet, blessed be God he 1 cserved me I " In his diary for the next eleven days, aic great complaints of distance from God, spiritua' pride, corruption, and exceed- ing vileness. He once says, hi i heart was so oppressed with a sense of his pollution, that he could scarcely have the face and impudence (as it then appeared to him) to desire that God should not damn him forever. And at another time, he says, he had so little sense of God, or apprehension and rel- ish of his glory and excellency, that it made him more dis- posed to kindness and tenderness towards those who are Wind and ignorant of God and things divine and heavenly. ' Lord's day, Oct. 16. In the evening, God was pleased to give me a feeling sense of my own unworthiness ; but through divine goodness such as tended to draw me to, rather than drive me from, God. It filled me *ith solemnity. I retired alone, (having at this time a friend with me) and poured out my soul to God with much freedom; and yet in anguish, to find myself so unspeakably sinful and unworthy before a holy God, vr J ii?' ;3 m 76 MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD. Was now much resiRncd iiiulcr God's dispensations townrds mc, though my trials had been very great. iJiit thought wiicther I could be lesigned, if God should let the French Indians come upon me and deprive me of life, or carry me away captive, (though I knew of no special reason then to propose this trial to myself, more than any other ;) and my soul seemed so far to rest and acquiesce in God, that the sting and terror of these things, seemed in a great measure gone. Presently after I came to the Indians, whom I was teaching to sing that evening, I received the follow- ing letter from Stockljridge, by a messenger sent on the Sabbath on purpose, which made it appear of greater importance. "Sir — Just now we received advices from Col. Stoddard, that there is the utmost danger of a rupture with France. He has received the same from his Excellency our Governor, ordering him to give notice to all the exposed places, that they may secure themselves the best they can against any sudden invasion. We thought best to send directly to Kaunaumeek, that you may take the most prudent measures for your safety. I am, Sir, etc' "I thought, upon reading the contents, it came in a good season; for my heart seemed fixed on God, and therefore I was not much surprised, This news only made me more serious, and taught me that I must not please myself with any of the comforts of life which I had been prepar- ing, lilessed be God, who gave me any intenseness and fervency this evening I " Oct. 17. Had some rising hopes, that 'God would arise and have mercy on Zion speedily.' My heart is indeed refreshed, when I have any prevailing hopes of Zion's prosperity. Oh that I may see the glorious day, when Zion shall become the joy of the whole earth ! Truly there is nothing that I greatly value in this lower world." On Tuesday, he rode to Stockbridge ; complains of being much diverted, and having but little life. On Wednesday, he expresses a solemn sense of divine things, and a longing to be always doing for God with a friendly frame of spirit. ^^ Oct. 20. Had but little sense of divine things this day. Alas, that so much of my precious time is spent with so little of God ! Those are tedious days wherein I have no spirituality. — Oct. 21. Returned hometo Kaunaumeek: was glad to get alone in my little cottage, and to cry to that God who seeth in secret, and is present in a wilderness. — Oct. 22. Had but little sensible communion with God. This world is a dark, cloudy mansion. O when will the Sun of Righteousness shine on my soul without intermission ! "Lord's dayiy Oct. 23. In the morning, I had a little dawn of coaifort MEMOIRS OF PRAfNERD. 11 .irising from hopes of seeing glorious days in the Church of God ; and wu enabled to pray for such a glorious day, with some courage and strength of hope. In the forenoon, treated on the glories of heaven ; in tlie afternoon, on the miseries of hell, and the danger of going there. Had some freedom and warmth, both parts of the day; and my people were very attentive. In the evening, two or three came to me under con- cern for their souls ; to whom I was enabled to discourse closely, and with some earnestness and desire. Oh that God would be merciful to their poor souls ! " lie seems, through the whole of this week, to have been greatly engaged to fill up every inch of time in the service of God, and to have been most diligently employed in study, prayer, and instructing the Indians ; and from time to time, expresses longings of soul after God, and the advancement of his kingdom, and spiritual comfort and refreshment. " Lord^s Day, Oct. 30. In the morning, I enjoyed some fixedness of soul in prayer, which was indeed sweet and desirable; and was enabled to leave myself with God, and to acquiesce in him. At noon, my soul was refreshed with reading Rev. iii. more especially the nth and 12th verses. Ilowmy soul longed for that blessed day, when I should 'dwell in the temple of God,' and ' go no more out ' of his immediate presence ! " Oct, 31. Rode to Kinderhook, about fifteen miles from my resi- dence. While riding, I felt some divine sweetness in the thoughts of hcing ' a pillar in the temple of God ' in the upper world, and being no more deprived of his blessed presence, and the sense of his favor, which is better than life. My soul was so lifted up to God, that I could pour out my desires to him, for more grace and further degrees of sanctification, with abundant freedom. IIow I longed to be more abundantly prepared for that blessedness, with which I was then in some measure refreshed I Returned home in the evening; but took an extremely bad cold by riding in the night. *' A^rJZ'. I. Was very much disordered in body, and sometimes full of pain in n)y face and teeth ; was not able to study much, and had not much .spiritual ':omfort. Alas I when God is withdrawn, all is gone. Had !-ome sweet thoughts, which I could not but write down, on the design, nature, and end of Christianity. " No7t. 2. Was still more indisposed in body, and in much pain, most of the day. I had not much comfort ; was scarcely able to study at all ; and still entirely alone in the wilderness. But blessed be the Lord, I am not exposed in the open air ; I have a house, and many of the comforts of life, to support me . I have learned, in a measure, that all good things. ■fa U4 as 78 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. relating both to time and eternity, come from God. Tn the evening, I had some degree of quickening in prayer : I think God gave me some sense of his presence. " Nffv. 3. Spent this day in secret fasting and prayei, from morning till night. Early in the morning, I had some small degree of assistance in prayer. Afterwards, read the story of Elijah the prophet, i Kings, xvli. xviii. and xix. chapters, and also 2 Kings, ii. and iv. chapters. My soul viras much moved, cbserviag the faith, zeal, and power of that holy man ; how he wrestled with God i:\ prayer. My soul then cried with Elisha, ' Where is the Lord God of Elijah ! ' O I longed for more faith! My soul breathed after Cod, a'.d pleaded nith him, that a 'double por- tion of that spirit,' which was given to Elijah, might * rest or me.' AiiJ that which was divinely refreshing and strengthening to my soul, was, I saw that God is the same that he was in the days of Elijah. Was en- abled to wrestle with God by prayer, in a more affectionate, fervent, hum- ble, intense, and importunate manner, than I have for many months past. Nothing seemed to^ hard for God to perform ; nothing too great for me to hope for from him. I had for many months entirely lost all hopes c' being made instrumental of doing any special service for God in the world ; it has appealed entirely impossible, that one so vile should be thus employed for God. But at this time God vas pleased to revive this hope. Afterwards read from the iii. chapter of Exodus to die xx. ind saw more of the glory and majesty of God discovered in those chapters, than ever I had seen before ; frequently in the mean time falling on my knees, and crying to God for the faith of Moses, and for a manifestation of the divine glory. Especially the iii. and iv. and part of the xiv. and xv, chapters were unspeakably sweet to my soul: my soul blessed God, that he had shown himself so gracious to his servants of old. The xv. chap- ter seemed to be the very language which my soul uttered to God ;n the season of my first spiritual comfort, when I had just got through the Red Sea, by a way that I had no expectation of. O how my soul then rejoiced in God! And now those things came fresh and lively to my mind; now my soul blessed God afresh that he had opened that unthought of way to deliver me from the fear of the Egyptians, when I almost despaired of life. A'^terwards read the story of Abraham's pilgrimage i-^ the land of Canaan. My soul was melted, in observing his faith, how he leaned on God ; how he communed with God ; and what a stranger he was here in the world. After that, read the £tory of Joseph's sufferings, and God's goodness to him ; blessed God for these examples of faith and patience. My soul was ardent in prayer, was enabled to wrestle ardently for myself, for Christian friends, and for the church of God. And felt more desire to sec the power of God in the conversion of souls, than I have done for a long season. Blessed be God for this season of fasting and prayefl May his goodness always abide with me, and draw my soul to himl i MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 79 " A''^. 4- Rode to Kinderhook : went quite to Hudson's river, about twenty miles from my house ; performed some business ; and returned home in the evening to my own house. I had rather ride hard, and fatigue myself to get home, than to spend the evening and night amongst those who have no regard for God." The next two days, he was very ill, and full of pain, prob- ably through his riding in the night, after a fatiguing day's journey on Tuesday ; but yet seems to have been diligent in business. ''Norv. 7. This morning the Lord afforded me some special assistance in prayer ; my mind was solcnm, fixed, affectionate, and ardent in desires after holiness; felt full of tenderness and love; and my affections seemed to be dissolved into kindness. In the evening, I enjoyed the same com- fortable assistance in prayer, as in the morning : my soul longed after God, and cried to him with a filial freedom, reverence and boldness. Oh that I might be entirely consecrated and devoted to God ! '■^ Nav.xo. Spent this day in fasting and prayer alone. In the morn- ing, was very dull and lifeless, melancholy and discouraged. But after some time, wiiile reading 2 Kings, xix. my soul was moved and affected: especially reading verse 14, and onward. I saw there was no other way for the afflicted children of God to take, but to go to God with all their sorrows. Ilezekiah, in his great distress, went and spread his complaint before the Lord. I was then enab'ed to sec the mighty power of God, and my extreme ntcd of that power, and to cry to him affectionately and ardently for his power and grace to be exercised towards me. Afterwards, read the story of David'h, trials, and observed the course he took under them, how he strengthened his hands in God ; whereby my soul was carried out after God, enabled to cry to him, and rely upon him, and felt strong in the Lord. Was afterwards refreshed, observing the blessed temper that was wrought in Da^id by his trials : all bitterness and desire for revenge, seemed wholly taken away ; so that he mourned for the death of his enemies ; 2 Sam. i. 17. and iv. 9. ad. fin. Was enabled to bless God, that he had given me something of this divine temper, that my soul freely forgives, and heartily loves my enemies." It appears by his diary for sonie weeks that great part of the time he was very ill and full of pain and yet obliged to be at great fatigues in labor and travelling day and night, and to expose himself in stormy and severe seasons. But he speaks of thirstings of soul after God ; of his heart being strengthened in God ; of seasons of divine sweetness and cm 8o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. comfort ; of his heart being affected with gratitude for mercies, etc. Yet there are many complaints of lifelessness, weakness of grace, distance from God, and great unprofitable- ness. But still there appears a constant care from day to day, not to lose time, but to improve it all for God. ^^ Lorffs day, Narv. 27. In the evening, I was greatly affected in read- ing an account of the very jov-fal death of a pious gentleman, which seemed to invigorate my soul in God's ways. I felt courageously engaged to pursue a life of holiness and self-denial as long as I live ; and poured out my soul to God for his help and assistance in order thereto. Eternity then seemed near, and my soul rejoiced and longed to meet it. I trust that will be a blessed day which finishes my toil here. " N'ozi. 28. In the evening, I was obliged to spend time in company and conversation which were unprofitable. Nothing lies heavier upon me than the misimprovement of time. — Nov. 29. Began to study in In dian tongue, with Mr. Sergeant, at Stockbridge.* Was perplexed for want of more retirement. I love to live alone in my little cottage, where I can spend much time in prayer. " Nov, 30. Pursued my study of Indian : but was very weak and dis- ordered in body, and was troubled in mind at the barrenness of the day, that I had done so little for God. I had some enlargement in prayer at night. O a barn, or stable, hedge, or any other place, is truly desirable if God is there ! Sometimes, of late, my hopes of Zion's prosperity, art more raised than they were in the summer. My soul seems to confide in God that he will yet ' shew forth his salvation ' to his people, and makeZiou • the joy of the whole earth.' O how excellent is the loving-kindness of the Lord. My soul sometimes inwardly exults at the lively thoughts nf what God has already done for his church, and what ' mine eyes have seen of the salvation of God.' It is sweet, to hear nothing but spiritual discourse from God's children; .ind sinners ' enquiring the way to Zion saying, ' What shall we do .?'. Oh that I may see more of this blessed work I "Dec. I. Both morning and evening, I enjoyed some intenscness of soul in prayer, and longed for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom in the world. My soul seems of late, to wait on God for his blessing on Zimi Oh that religion might powerfully revive !— Dec. 2. Enjoyed not .so much health of body, or fervor of mind, as yesterday. If the chariot-wheeK * The commissioners had directed him to spend much time this winter with Mr. Ser geant, to learn the language of the Indians; which necessitated him very often tn rid- backwards and forwards, twenty miles, through the uninhabited woods betwoen Stuck^ bridge and Kaunaumeek which exposed him to extreme hardship in the severe seasons (i the winter. SaSBSSSw!^^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 8i move with ease and speed at any time, for a short space, yet, by and by, they drive heavily again. ' Oh that I had the wings of a dove, that I might fly away' from sin and corruption, and be at rest with God ! " Dec. 3. Rode home to my house and people. Suffered much with extreme cold. — I trust, I shall ere long, arrive safe at my journey's end, where my toils shall cease. — Lord's day, Dec. 4. Had but little sense of divine and heavenly things. My soul mourns over my barrenness. O how sad is spiritual deadness ! — Dec. 5. Rode to Stockbridgc. Was al- most outdone with the extreme cold. Had some refreshing meditations by the way ; but was barren, wandering, and lifeless, much of the day. Thus my days roll away, with but little done for God ; and this is my burden. — Dec. 6. Was perplexed to see the vanity and levity of professed Christians. Spent the evening with a Christian friend, who was able, in some measure, to sympathize with me in my spiritual conflicts. Was a little refreshed to find one with whom I could converse of inward trials, etc. "Z^t'c. 7. Spent the evening in perplexity, with a kind of guilty in- dolence. When I have no heart or resolution for God, and the duties incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and misimprovement of time. Certainly I ought to be engaged in my work and business, to the utmost extent of my strength and ability. " Dec. 8. My mind was much distracted with different affections ; I seemed to be at an amazing distance from God ; and looking round in the wodd, to see if there was not some happiness to be derived from it, God, and certain objects in the world, seemed each to invite my heart and affections ; and my soul seemed to be distracted between them. I have not been so much beset with the world for a long time ; and that with re- lation to some particular objects, to which I thought myself most dead. But even while I was desiring to please myself with anything below, guilt, sorrow, and perplexity attended the first motions of desire. Indeed, I cannot see the appearance of pleasure and happiness in the world, as I used to do : and blessed be God for any habitual deadness to the world. I found no peace, or deliverance, from this distraction and perplexity of mind, till I found access to the throne of grace ; and, as soon as I had any sense of God, and things divine, the allurements of the world vanished, and my heart was determined for God. But my soul mourned over my folly, that I should desire any pleasure, but only in God. God forgive my spiritual idolatry I " The next thirteen days, he appears to have been contin- itlly in deep concern about the improvement of precious time ; and there are expressions of grief, that he improved time no better ; such as " O what misery do I feel, when my houghts rove after vanity ! I should be happy if always oc: ;3 UJI 82 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. engaged for God ! O wretched man that I am ! " etc. Speaks of his being pained with a sense of his barrenness, perplexed with his wanderings, longing for deliverance from sin, mourn- ing that time passed away, and so little was done for God. — On Tuesday, December 20, he speaks of his being visited at Kaunaumeek, by some under spiritual concern. " Dec. 22. Spent this day alone in fasting and prayer, and reading in God's word the exercises and deliverances of his children. Had, I trust, some exercise of faith, and realizing apprehension of divine power, grace and holiness ; and, also, of the unchangeableness of God, that he is the same as when he delivered his saints of old out of great tribulation. My soul was sundry times in prayer enlarged for God's church and people. Oh that Zion might become the ' joy of the whole earth ! ' It is better to wait upon God with patience, than to put confidence in anything in this lower world. ' My soul, wait thou on the Lord ; ' for * from him comes thy salvation.' " Dec. 23. Felt a little more courage and resolution in leligion, than at some other times. — Dec. 24. Had some assistance and longing desires after sanctification, in prayer this day ; especially in the evening : was sensible of my own weakness and spiritual impotency ; saw plainly; that I should fall into sin, if God of his abundant mercy did not 'uphold my soul, and withhold me from evil.' Oh that God would uphold me by his free Spirit, and save me from the hour of temptation ! ^' Lord's day, Dec. 25. Prayed much in the morning, with a feeling sense of my own spiritual weakness and insufficiency for my duty. God gave me some assistance in preaching to the Indians ; and especially in the afternoon, when I was enabled to speak with uncommon plainness, freedom, and earnestness. Blessed be God for any assistance granted to one so unworthy. Afterwards felt some thankfulness ; but still sensible of barrenness. Spent some time in the evening with one or two persons under spiritual concern, and exhorting others to their duty. " Dec. 26. Rode down to Stockbridge. Was very much fatigued with my journey, wherein I underwent great hardships ; was much exposed and very wet by falling into a river. Spent the day and evening without much sense of divine and heavenly things ; but felt guilty, grieved, and perplexed with wand'^ring, careless thoughts. — Dec. 27. Had a small degree of warmth in secret prayer, in the evening ; but, alas ! had but little spiritual life, and consequently but little comfort. Oh, the pressure of a body of death ! This day he wrote to his brother John, at Yale college, the following letter : MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 83 " Kaunaumebk, Dec. 27, 1743. "Dear Brother: " I long to see you, and to know how you fare in your journey through a world of inexpressible sorrow: where we are compassed about with 'vanity, confusion, and vexation of spirit.' I am more weary of life, I think, than ever I was. The whole world appears to me like a huge vacuum, a vast empty space, whence nothing desirable, or at least satis- factory, can possibly be derived ; and 1 long daily to die more and more to it ; even though I obtain not that comfort from spiritual things which I earnestly desire. Worldly pleasures, such as flow from greatness riches, honors, and sensual gratifications, are infinitely worse than none. May the Lord deliver us more and more from these vanities, I have spent most of the fall and winter hitherto in a very weak state of body ; and .sometimes under pressing inward trials and spiritual conflicts; but 'having obtained help from God, I continue to this day ; ' and am now somewhat better in health, than I was some time ago. I find nothing more conducive to a life of Christianity, than a diligent, industrious, and faithful improvement of precious time. Let us then faithfully perform that business, which is allotted to us by divine Providence, to the utmost of our bodily strength, and mental vigor. Why should we sink, and grow discouraged with any particular trials and perplexities, which we are called to encounter in the world? Death and Eternity are just be- fore us; a few tossing billows more will waft us into the world of spirits, and we hope, through infinite grace, into endless pleasures, and uninter- rupted rest and peace. Let us then 'run, with patience, the race set Wore us,' Heb. xii. i, 2. And, O, that we could depend more upon the living God, and less upon our own wisdom and strength ! Dear brother, may the God of all grace comfort your heart, and succeed your studies, and make you an instrument of good to his people in your day. This is the constant prayer of " Your affectionate brother, "David Brainerd. "Z>ff. 28. Rode about six miles to the ordination of Mr. Hopkins. At the solemnity I was somewhat affected with a sense of the greatness and importance of the work of a minister of Christ. Afterwards was grieved to see the vanity of the multitude. In the evening, spent a little time with some Christian friends, with some degree of satisfaction; but most of the time, I had rather have been alone. ''^ Dec. 29. Spent the day mainly in conversing with friends; yet en- i'Wd little satisfaction, because T could find but few disposed to con- verse of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what are the things of this ^v"ild, to afford satisfaction to the sf)ul ! — Near night, returned to Stock- tifidge ; in secret, I blessed God for retirement, and that I am not always 84 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 1 1 exposed to the company and conversation of the world. O that I could live ' in the secret of God's presence ! ' '■^ Dec. 30. Was in a solemn, devout frame in the evening. Won- dered that earth, with all its charms, should ever allure me in the least degree. Oh, that I could always realize the being and holiness of God!— Dec 31. Rode from Stockbridge home to my house : the air was clear and calm, but as cold as ever I felt it, or nearly. I was in great danger of perishing by the extremity of the season. Was enabled to meditate much on the road. ^^ Lord's day, Jo }u i, 1744. In the morning, had some small degree uf assistance in prayer. Saw myself so vile and unworthy, that I could not look my people in the face, when I came to preach. O my meanness, folly, ignorance, and inward pollution ! In the evening, had a little assistance in prayer, so that the duty was delightful, rather than burden- some. Reflected on the goodness of God to me in the past year. Of a truth God has been kind and gracious to me, though he has caused me to pass through many sorrows ; he has provided for me bountifully, so that I have been enabled, in about fifteen months past, to bestow to charitable uses about an hundred pounds New England money, that I can now re- member.* Blessed be the Lord, that has so far used me as his steward, tn distribute a portion of his goods. May I always remember, that all 1 have comes from God. Blessed be the Lord, that has carried me through all the toils, fatigues, and hardships of the year past, as well as the spiritual sorrows and conflicts that have attended it. O that I could be- gin this year with God, and spend the whole of it to his glory, either in life or death I '■'■ Jan. 2. Had some affecting sense of my own impotency and spiritual weakness. It is nothing but the power of God that keeps me from all manner of wickedness. I see I am nothing, and can do nothing without help from above. Oh, for divine grace ! In the evening had some ardor of soul in prayer, and longing desires to have God for my guide and safeguard at all times." The following letter to his brother Israel, at Haddam, was written this day. " Kaunaumeek, Jan. 2, i743-4' " My dear Brother: " There is but one thing that deserves our highest care and most ardent desires ; and that is, that we may answer the great end for which we were made, viz. to glorify that God, who has given us our being and all our * Which was, I suppose, to the value of about jQ 185 in our bills of the old tenor, as they now pass. Py this, as well as many other things it is manifest that his frequent melancholy did not arise from the consideration of any disadvantage he was laid under'.o (■t a living in the world, by his expulsion from the college. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 8S comforts, .iiul do all the good we possibly can to our fcUow-mcn, while we live in the world. Verily life is not worth the having, if it be not ini- pruvcd for this noble end and purpose. Yet, alas, how little is this thought of among mankind ! Most men seem to live to themselves without much regard to the glory of God, or the good of their fellow-creatures. They earnestly desire, and eagerly pursue after the riches, the honors, and the pleasures of life, as if they really supposed, that wealth or greatness, or merriment, could make their immortal souls happy. But alas ! what false delusive dreams are these ! And how miserable will those ere long an be \\ ho are not awaked out of them, to see that all their happiness con- sists in living to God, and becoming " holy, as he is holy ! " Oh, may you never fall into the tempers and vanities, the sensuality and folly of the present world ! You are by divine Providence, left as it were alone in a wide world, to act for yourself : be sure then to remember, that it is a wodd of temptation. You have no earthly parents to be the means of forming your youth to piety and virtue, by their pious examples, and seasonable counsels ; let this then excite you with greater diligence and fervency to look up to the Father of mercies for grace and assistance against all the vanities of the world. If you would glorify God, or ans- wer his just expectations from you, and make your own soul happy in this and the coming world, observe these few directions ; though not from a father, yet from a brother who is touched with a tender concern for your present and future happiness. " First: Resolve upon, and daily endeavor to practise a life of serious- ness and strict sobriety. The wise man will tell you the great advantage of such a life, Eccl. vii. 3. Think of the life of Christ; and when you can find that he was pleased with jesting and vain merriment, then you may indulge in it yourself. "Again: be careful to make a good improvement of precious time. When you cease from labor, fill up your time in reading, meditation, and prayer; and while your hands are laboring, let your heart be employed, as much as possible, in divine thoughts. — Further ; Take heed that you faith- fully perform the business which you have to do in the world, from a re- gard to the commands of God ; and not from an ambitious desire of being esteemed better than others. We should always look upon ourselves as God's servants, placed in God's world, to do his work ; and accordingly labor faithfully for him ; not with a design to grow rich and great, but to glorify God, and to do all the good we possibly can. " Again : never expect any satisfaction or happiness from the world. If you hope for happiness in the world hope for it from God, and not from the world. Do not think you shall be more happy if you live to such or such a state in life, if you live to be yourself, to be settled in the world or if you shall gain an estate in it : but look upon it that you shall then be happy, when you can be constantly employed for God, and not for youf ca C-J 86 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, self; and desire to live in this world, only to do and suffer what God al- lots to you. When you can be of the spirit and temper of angels, who are willing to come down into this lower world, to perform what God com- mands them, though their desires arc heavenly, and not in the least set on earthly things, then you will be of that temper which you ought to have, Col. iii. 2. " Once more ; never think that you can live to God by your own power or strength ; but always look to, and rely on him for assistance, yea for all strength and grace. There is no greater truth than this, that ' we can do nothing of ourselves ; '( John xv. 5. and 2 Cor. iii. 5.) yet nothing but our own experience can effectually teach it us. Indeed, we are a long time in learning, that all our strength and salvation is in God. This is a life which I think no unconverted man can possibly live ; and yet it is a life which every godly soul is pressing after, in some good measure. Let it then be your great concern, thus to devote yourself and your all to God. " I long to see you, that I may say much more to you than I now can for your benefit and welfare ; but I desire to commit you to, and leave you with, the Father of mercies, and God of all grace ; praying that you may be directed safely through an evil world, to God's heavenly kingdom. " I am your affectionate loving brother, " David Brainerd." *^ Jan. 3. Was employed much of the day in writing ; and spent some time in other necessary employment. But my time passes away so swiftly that I am astonished when I reflect on it, and see how little I do. My state of solitude docs not make the hours hang heavy upon my hands. O what reason of thankfulness have I on account of this retirement ! I find, that I do not, and it seems I can-r.ot lead a Christian life, when I am abroad, and cannot spend time in devotion. Christian conversation, and serious meditation, as I should do. Those weeks that I am obliged now to be from home, in order to learn the Indian tongue, are mostly spent in perplexity and barrenness, without much sweet relish of divine things ; and I feel myself a stranger at the throne of grace, for want of more fre- quent and continued retirement. When T return home, and give myself to meditation, prayer, and fasting, a new scene opens to my mind, and my soul longs for mortification, self-denial, humility, and divorcement from all the things of the world. This evening, my heart was somewhat warm and fervent in prayer and meditation, so that I was loath to indulge sleep. Continued in those duties till about midnight. "_/««. 4. Was in a resigned and mortified temper of mind, much of the day. Time appeared a moment, life a vapor, and all enjoyments as empty bubbles, and fleeting blasts of wind. — Jan. 5. Had a humbling and oppressive sense of my unworthiness. My sense of the badness of MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 87 my own heart filled my soul with bitterness and anguish ; which was ready to sink, as under the weight of a heavy burden. Thus I spent the even- ing, till late. Was somewhat intense and ardent in prayer. "Jan. 6. Feeling my extreme v/eakness, and want of grace, the pollu- tion of my soul, and danger of temptations on every side, I set apart this day for fasting and prayer, neither eating nor drinking from evening to evening, beseeching God to have mercy on me. My soul intensely longed that the dreadful spots and stains of sin might be washed away from it. Saw something of the power and all-sufSciency of God. My soul seemed to rest on his power and grace; longed for resignation to his will, and mortification to all things here below. My mind was greatly fixed on divine things : my resolutions for a life of mortification, continual watch- fulness, self-denial, seriousness and devotion, were strong and fixed; my desires ardent and intense ; my conscience tender, and afraid of every appearance of evil. My soul grieved with reflection on past levity, and want of resolution for God. I solemnly renewed my dedication of myself to God, and longed for grace to enable me always to keep covenant with him. Time appeared very short, eternity near ; and a great name, either in or after life, together with all earthly pleasures and profits, but an empty bubble, a deluding dream. "/a«. 7. Spent this day in seriousness, with steadfast resolutions for God, and a life of mortification. Studied closely till I felt my bodily strength fail. Felt some degree of resignation to God, with an acquies- cence in his dispensations. Was grieved that I could do so little for God before my bodily strength failed. In the evening, though tired, was enabled to continue instant in prayer for some time. Spent the time in reading, meditation, and prayer, till the evening was far spent : was grieved to think that I could not watch unto prayer the whole night. But blessed be God, heaven is a place of continual and incessant devotion, though the earth is dull." The six days following, he continued in the same happy frame of mind ; enjoyed the same composure, calmness, resig- nation, ardent desire, and sweet fervency of spirit, in a high degree, every day, not one excepted. Thursday, this week, he kept as a day of secret fasting and prayer. ^'' Jan. 14. This morning, enjoyed a most solemn season in prayer : my soul seemed enlarged, and assisted to pour out itself to God for grace, and for every blessing I wanted for myself, my dear Christian friends, and for the church of God ; and was so enabled to see Him who is invisible, that my soul rested upon him for the performance of everything I asked ^reeable to his will. It was then my happiness to ' continue instant in u.,j 88 MEMOIRS OF nRAfNERD, prayer,' and I was enabled to continue in it for near an hour. My soul was tlicn 'strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.' I.ongal exceedingly for an angelic holiness and purity, and to have all my thoughts, at all times, employed in divine and heavenly things. O how unspeakably blessed it is, to feel a measure of that rectitude, in which we were at first created I Felt the same divine assistance in prayer sundry times in the day. My soul confided in God for myself, and for his Zion ; trusted in divine power and grace, that he would do glorious things in his church on earth, for his own glory." The next day he speak of some glimpses which he had of the divine glories, and oi his being enabled to maintain his resolutions in some measure ; but complains, that he could not draw near to God. He seems to be filled with trembling fears lest he should return to a life of vanity, to please him- self with some of the enjoyments of this lower world ; and speaks of his being much troubled, and feeling guilty, that he should address immortal souls with no more ardency and desire of their salvation. On )nday, he rode down to Stockbridge, when he was distressed with extreme cold ; but notwithstanding, his mind was in a devout and solemn frame in his journey. The next four days, he was very ill, probably from the cold in his journey ; yet he spent the time in a solemn manner. On Friday evening, he visited Mr Hopkins ; and on Saturday, rode eighteen miles to Salisbury, where he kept the Sabbath, and enjoyed considerable degrees of God's gracious presence, assistance in duty, and divine comfort and refreshment, longing to give himself wholly to God, to be his forever. "ypers ; declaring, that it now feels and tastes, that the Lord is gracious ; that he is the supreme good, the only soul satisfying happiness : that he is a complete, sufficient, and almighty por- tion; saying: ' Whom have I in Heaven but thee ? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside,' this blessed portion. O, I feel that it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me to be ! that my soul were holy, as he is holy I O that it were pure, even as Christ is pure ; and perfect as my Father in heaven is perfect! These I feel are the sweetest comu.ands in God's book, comprising all others. And shall I break them ! must I break them I am I under the necessity of it as long as I live in the world ! O my soul, woe, woe is me, that I am a sinner, because I now necessarily grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in goodness and grace ! O methinks if he would punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him : but though I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kindness to me ! O .-nethinks I could bear any sufferings ; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonor this blessed God ! How shall I yield ten thousand times more honor to him ? What shall I do to glorify and worship this best of beings ? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service forever I O that I could give up myself to him, so as never more to MEMOIRS OF nRAINKKD. 91 attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not per- fectly conformed to him! But, alas, alas! I find I cannot be thus en- tirely devoted to (lod ; I cannot live and not sin. C) ye angels, do yc glorify him incessantly ; and if possible prostrate yourselves lower before the blessed King of heaven! I long to bear a part with you ; and, if it were possible, to help you. O when we have done all that we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the homage which the glorious (iod deserves I ' Felt something spiritual, devout, resigned, and mortified to the world, much of the day ; and especially towards and in the evening. Blessed be God, that he enables me to love him for hiiusclf. ''Feb, 8. Was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the day; though sensible of, and restless under spiritual barrenness. I find that both mind and body are quickly tired with intcnsencss and fervor in the things of God. O that I could be as incessant as angels in devotion and spiritual fervor. " Feb. 9. Observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer, intreating of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace ; especially to enable me to live a life of mortification to the world, as well as of resignation and patience. Enjoyed some realizing sense of divine power and good- ness in prayer, several times ; and was enabled to roll the burden of my- self, and friends, and Zion, upon the goodness and grace of God ; but in the general, was more dry and barren than I have usually been of late, upon such occasions. " Feb. 10. Was exceedingly oppressed, most of the day, with shame, grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly, as well as present barren- ness and coldness. When God sets before me my past misconduct, especially any instances of misguided zeal, it sinks my soul into shame and confusion, makes me afraid of a shaking leaf. My fear is such as the prophet Jeremy complains of, Jer. xx. 10. I have no confidence to hold up my face, even before my fellow worms ; but only when my soul confides in God, and I find the sweet temper of Christ, the spirit of humility, solemnity and mortification, and resignation, aHve in my soul. But, in the evening, was unexpectedly refreshed in pouring out my com- plaint to God ; my shame -md fear was turned into a sweet composure and acquiescence in God. ''Feb. II. Felt much as yesterday; enjoyed but little sensible com- munion with God.— 'Lord's day, Feb. 12. My soul seemed to confide in God, and to repose itself on him ; and had intense longings after God in prayer. Enjoyed some sweet divine assistance, in the forenoon, in preach- ing ; but in the afternoon, was more perplexed with shame, etc. After- wards, found some relief in prayer ; loved, as a feeble, afflicted, despised CO ;i3 ■i<5. 22. In the morning, had as clear a sense of the exceeding pollu- tion of my natare , as ever I remember to have had in my life. I then appeared to myself inexpressibly loathsome and defiled. Sins of child- hood, of early youth, and such follies as I had not thought of for years together, as I remember, came now fresh to my view, as if committed but yesterday, and appeared in the most odious colors ; they appeau d more in number than the hairs of my head ; yea, they ' went over my head as a heavy burden.' In the evening, the hand of faith seemei to be strengthened in God ; my soul seemed to rest and acquiesce in him, was supported under my burdens, reading the cxxvth psalm ; and tound that it was sweet and comfortable to lean on God. " Feb. 23. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some assistance. There is a God in heaven who overr.iles all things for the best ; and this is the comfort of my soul : * I had fainted unless 1 had believed to see the goodness of God in the land of the living,' notv/ithstanding present sor- rows. In the evening enjoyed some freedom in prayer, for myself, friends, and the church of God. "Feb, 24. Was exceedingly restless and perplexed under a sense of misimprovcment of time ; mnnrned to see time pass away ; felt in the greatest hurry; seemed to li.ive everything to do, yet could do noth- ing, but only r(rievc and groan under my ignorance, unprofitableness, meanness, the (oolishness of my actions and thoughts, the pride and bit- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. » terness of some past frames, all which at this time" appeared to me m lively colors, and filled me with shame. I could not compose my miMl to any profitable studies, by reason of this pressure. And the reason, I judge, why I am not allowed to study a great part of my time, is, liecauae I am endeavoring to lay in such a stock of knowledge as shall be a seH- Bufticiency. — I know it to be my indispensable duty to sti.dy, and <^jualify myself in the best manner I can for public service : but this is my misery, [ naturally study and prepare, that I may 'consume it upuo my lusts' of pride and self-confidence. "■March 2. Was most of the day employed in writing on a divine sub- ject. Was frequent in prayer, and enjoyed some small degree of assist- ance. But in the evening God was pleased to grant me divine sweetness in prayer ; especially in the duty of intercession. I think, I never felt so much kindness and love to those who, I have reason to think, are my ene- mies — though at that time I found such a disposition to think the best of all, that I scarce knew how to thiuK that any such thing as enmity and hatred lodged in my soul ; it seemed as if all the world must needs be friends — and never prayed with more freedom and delight, for myself, or dearest friend, than I did now for my enemies. " Afarch 3. In the morning, spent an hour in prayer, v/ith great intense- ness and freedom, and with the most soft and tender affection towards mankind. 1 longed that those who, It have reason to think, owe me ill will, might be eternally happy. I seemed refreshing to think of meeting them in heaven, how much soever they had injured me on earth ; had no disposition to insist upon any confession from them, in order to reconcili- ation, and the exercise of love and kindness to them. O it is an emblem of heaven itself, to love all the world with a love of kindness, forgiveness, and benevolence ; to feel our souls sedate, mild and meek ; to be void of iH evil surmisings and suspicions, and scarce able to think evil of any man upon any occasion ; to find our hearts simple, open and free, to those that look upon us with a different eye ! — Prayer was so sweet an exercise to mc, that I knew not how to cease, ie.st I should lose the spirit of prayer. f''clt no disposition to eat or drink, for the sake of the pleasure of it, but only to support my nature, and fit me for divine service. Could not be content without a very particular mention of a great number of dear friends at the throne of grace ; as also the particular circumstances of many, so far as they were known. " Lord's day, Mirch 4. In the morning, enjoyed the same intcnpcness in prayer as yesterday morninc. ihnuah not in so great a degree ; felt the same spirit of love, universal benevolence, forgiveness, humility, lesignation. inortification to the world, and comp(l;^Hre of mind, as then. My soul rested in Cod ; and I found I wanted no other refuge or friend. While mv soul trusts in God, all things seem to be at peace with me, even the stones of ■■ 94 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. the earth ; but when I cannot apprehend and confide in God, all things appear with a different aspect. *' March ic In the morning, felt exceedingly dead to the world, and all its enjoyments. I thought I was ready and willing to give up life and all its comforts, as soon as called to it ; and yet then had as much com- fort ot life as almost ever I had. Life itself now appeared but an empty bubble ; the riches, honors, and common enjoyments of life appeared ex- tremely tasteless. I longed to be perpetually and entirely crucified to all things here below, by the cross of Christ. My soul was sweetly resigned to God's disposal of me, in every regard ; and I saw that nothing had hap- pened but what was best for me, I confided in God, that he would never leave me, though I should ' walk through the valley of the shadow of death.' It was then my meat and drink to be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord. And I thought that I then enjoyed such a heaven, as far exceeded the most sublime conceptions of an unregenerate soul ; and even unspeakably beyond what I myself could conceive at another time. I did not wonder that Peter said, ' Lord, it is good to be here,' when thus refreshed with divine glories. My soul was full of love and tenderness in the duty of intercession ; especially felt a most sweet affec- tion to some precious godly ministers, of my acquaintance. Prayed earnestly for dear Christians, and for those I have reason to fear are my enemies ; and could not have spoken a word of bitterness, or entertained a bitter thought against the vilest man living. Had a sense of my own great unworthiness. My soul seemed to breathe forth love and praise to God afresh, when I thought he would let his children love and receive me as one of their brethren and fellow-citizens. When I thought of their treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at their feet ; and could think of no way to express the sincerity and simplicity of my love and esteem of them, as being much better than myself. Towards night was very sorrowful ; seemed to myrcif the worst creature Jiving ; and could not pray nor meditate, nor think of iiolding up my face before the world. Was a little relieved in prayer, in the evening ; but longed to get on my knees, and ask forgiveness of everybody that ever had seen anything amiss in my past conduct, espe- cially in my religious zeal. Was afterwards much perplexed, so that I could not sleep quietly. " LoTif^ day, March rr. My soul was, in some measure, strengthened in God, in morning devotion ; so that : was released from tremb'ing fear and distress. Preached to my people from the parable of the sower, Matt. xiii.,and enjoyed some assistance, both parts of the day; had some freedom, affection, and fervency, in addressing my poor people; longed that God should take hold uf their hearts, and make them spiritually •live. And, indeed, T had so much to say to them, that I knew not hovr to leave off speaking." ■^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 95 This was the last Sabbath in which he performed public service at Kaunaumeek, and these the last sermons which he ever preached there. It appears by his diary, that while he continued with these Indians, he took great pains with them, and did it with much discretion ; but the particular manner how has been omitted for brevity's sake. " March 12. In the morning, was in a devout, tender, and loving (rame of mind ; and was enabled to cry to God, I hope, with a child-like spirit, with importunity, resignation, and composure of mind. My spirit was full of quietness, and love to mankind ; and longed that j^eace should reign on the earth ; was grieved at the very thoughts of fiery, angry, and in- temperate zeal in religion; mourned over past follies in that regard; and confided in God for strength and grace sufficient for my future work and trials Spent the day mainly in hard labor, making preparation for my intended journey. '•'■March 13. Felt my soul going forth after God sometimes ; but not with such ardency as I desired. In the evening, was enabled to continue instant in prayer, for some considerable time together ; and especially had respect to the journey I designed to enter upon, with the leave of divine providence, on the morrow. Enjoyed some freedom and fervency, en- treating that the divine presence might attend me in every place where my business might lead me ; and had a particular reference to the trials and temptations to which I apprehend I might be more eminently exposed in particular places. Was strengthened and comforted ; although I was before very weary. Truly the joy of the Lord is strength and life. " March 14. Enjoyed some intenseness of soul in prayer, repeating my petitions for GoaHsbury.] Was exceeding jycak and faint, so that I could scarce walk ; but God was pleased to afford m« much freedom, clearness, and fervency in preaching ; I have not had the lik< assistance in preaching to sinners for many months past. Here another messenger met me, and informed me of the vote of another congregation, to give me an invitation to come among them upon probation, for settle- ment.* Was somewhat exercised in mind with a weight and burden of care. Oh that God would * send forth faithful laborers into his harvest ! " After this he w<;nt forward on his journey to New York and New Jersey, performing it under great bodily indisposition, However, he preached several ♦imes bv the way, being urged by friends, in which he had consider.ible assistance. He speaks of comfort in conversation with Christian friends, from time to time, and of vafio«* things in tfou exercises and frames of his heart, which show mijc^^ a divine in^uence on his mind in this journey : but yet r/>mpl^i#^ of the thing.<>thai he feared viz. a decline of his spii^itiiatl We, or vivacity in relij^-an, by means of his constant rem^>vs^ it'^/m ^w/^. to place, .aid want of retirement; and complains b-itterly of his i.iiwortMness, deadness, etc. He came to Neiy York March 28, 2sA to J'.lizabethtowii the Saturday following, where he waited till the commissioners came togethef^ ^* April. 5. Was again mucfe «xerciMd with weakness, and with pain in my head. Attended on tf)M i!/iilW(iii»sioneiS in their meeting. t Re- solved to go on still with th* IndiMi uMasx, if divine providence per- mitted; although I had l>ef//re felt tmm kidliwjtion to go to East-Hamp- ton, where I was solicited ut j^/ " By the invitations wtikh Ifrainerd had lately received, ii appears, that it was not from i*ecessity, or fur want of oppor- » This congregation was that at MilHngton, near Haddam. They were very earnestly desirous of his coming among them. t The Indians at Kaunamneek being but few in number, and Brainerd having been laboring among them about a ycnr, and having prevailed upon them to be willing io re- move to Stockbridge, to live undn Mr. Serge -t's ministry ; he thought he miRbt now do more service for Christ among th.> Indians sewlwre, and therefore took this journev to New Jersey to lay the matter before the comm ^ioners, who met at Kli/abcthtown, and determined that he shouJU (*>rthw»tU leave ^.tiuiAumeek, aud go to the Delaware fs- MEMOIRS OF BRAINRRD. n tunities to settle in the ministry amongst the English, not- withstanding the disgrace he had been laid under at college, hat he was determined to forsake all the outward comforts lobe enjoyed in the English settlements, to go and spend his life among the savages, and endure the difficulties and self- lienials of an Indian mission. Just as he was leaving Kaun- iiimeek, he had an earnest invitation to a settlement at East Hampton, Long Island, the fairest, pleasantest town on the whole island, and one of its largest and most wealthy par- ishes. The people there were unanimous in their desires to have him for their pastor, and for a long time continued in an earnest pursuit of what they desired, and were hardly brought to relinquish their endeavors, and give up their hopes of ob- taining him. Besides, the invitation which he had to Milling- Ion was near his native town, and in the midst of his friends. Nor did Brainerd choose the business of a missionary to the Indians, rather than accept of those invitations, because he was unacquainted with the difficulties and sufferingf vhich attended such a service ; for he had had experience o. .hcse (rifTirulties in .sumnu i and winter; having spent about a twelvemonth in a lonely desert among these savages, where he had gone through extreme hardshi[>s, and been the subject of a train of outward and inward sorrows which were now fresh in his mind. Notwithstanding all these things, he chose still to go on with this business ; and that, although the place to which he was now going, was at a much greater distance from most of his friends, and native land. Afu r this he continued two or three days in New Jersey, very ill , and then returned to New York and thence into New England .3 his nati/e town of Haddam, where he arrived April 14. And he continues still his bitter complaints of want of re- tirement. While he was in New Y^ork, he says thus, " Oh it is lot the pleasures of the world which can comfort mc ! If God deny his presence, what are the pleasures of ihe city to me ? One hour of sweet retirement where God is, is better than the whole world." And he continues to complain of his cxs 98 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ignorance, meanness, and unworthiness. However, he speaks of some seasons of special assistance and divine sweetness. He spent some days among his friends at East-Hampton and Millington. " April 17. Rode to Millington again ; and felt perplexed when I set out ; was feeble in body, and weak in faith. I was going to preach a lec- ture, and feared I should never have assistance enough to get through. liut, contriving to ride alone, at a distance from the company that wasg^- ing, I spent the time in lifting up my heart to God. Had not gone far before my soul was abundantly strengthened with those word", ' If God be for us, who can be against us ? ' I went on, confiding in God ; and fear- ing nothing so much as self-confidence. In this frame I went to the house of God, and enjoyed some assistance. Afterwards, felt the spirit of love and meekness in conversation with some friends. Then rode home to my brother's; and, in the evening, singing hymns with friends, my soul seemed to melt ; and in prayer, afterwards, enjoyed the exercise of faith, and was enabled to be fervent in spirit ; found more of God's presence, than I have done any time in my late wearisome journey. Eternity ap- peared very near ; my nature was very weak, and seemed ready to be dis- solved; the sun declining, and the shadows of the evening drawing on apace. I longed to fill up the remaining moments all for God ! Though my body was so feeble, and wearied with preaching, and much private conversation, yet I wanted to sit up all night to do something for God. To God, the giver of these refreshments, be glory for ever and ever, Amen. " April 18. Was very weak, and enjoyed but little spiritual comfort. Was exercised with one who cavilled against original sin. May the Lord open his eyes to see the fountain of sin in himself ! " After this, he visited several ministers in Connecticut; and then traveled towards Kaunaumeek, and came to Mr. Sergeant's at Stockbridge. He performed this journev in a very weak state of body. The things he speaks of, are a( some times deadness and want of spiritual comfort ; at other times, resting in God, spiritual sweetness in conversation, engagedness in meditation on the road, assistance in preach- ing, rejoicing to think that so much more of his work was done, and he so much nearer to the eternal world. And he once and again speaks of a sense of great ignorance and spiritual pollution. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD 99 ** April 27 and 28. Spent some time in visiting friends, and discour- sing with my people, (who were now moved down from their own place to Mr. Sergeant's,) and found them '/ery glad to see me returned. Was exercised in my mind with a sense of my own unworthiness. '^ Lord's day, April 29. Preached for Mr. Sergeant both parts of the day, from Rev. xiv. 4. 'These are they which were not defiled, etc' En- joyed some freedom in preaching, though not much spirituality. In the evening, my heart was in some measure lifted up in thankfulness to God for any assistance. — April 30. Rode to Kaunaumeek^ but was ex- tremely ill ; did not enjoy the comfort I hoped for in my own house. —May I. Having received new orders to go to a number of Indians, on Delaware river, in Pennsylvania, and my people here being mostly re- moved to Mr. Sergeant's, I this day took all my clothes, books, etc., and disposed of them, and set out for Delaware river ; but made it my way to return to Mr. Sergeant's, which I did this day, just at night. Rode several h(jurs in the rain through the howling wilderness, although I vas so disordered in body, that little or nothing but blood came from me." He continued at Stockbridge the next day, and on Thurs- day rode to Sheffield, under a great degree of illness ; but with encouragement and cheerfulness of mind under his fa- tigues. On Friday, he rode to Salisbury, and continued there till after the Sabbath. He speaks of his soul's being, some part of the time, refreshed in conversation with some Christian friends, about their heavenly home, and their jour- ney thither. At other times, he speaks of himself as exceed- ingly perplexed with barrenness and deadness, and has this exclamation : " O that time should pass with so little done for God ! " On Monday, he rode to Sharon ; and speaks of himself as distressed at the consideration of the misimprove- ment of time. " May 8. Set out from Sharon, in Connecticut, and traveled about forty-five miles to a place called Fishkill * and lodged there. Spent much of my time, while- riding, in prayer, that God would go with me to Delaware. My heart, sometimes, was ready to sink with the thoughts of my work, and going alone in the w.lderness, I knew not where ; but still it was comfortable to think that others of God's children had ' wandered about ■■n caves and dens of the earth ; ' and Abraham, when he was called iij go forth, ' went out, not knowing whither he went.' Oh that I might fallow after God ! " * A place in New York government, near the Hudson, on the east side of the river. QOl 3 "US* ■WtrS MEMORIAL LIO"''^' ^flcMASTER U^'• lOO MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. The next day, he went forward on his journey ; crossed the Hudson, and traveled from the Hudson to the Delaware, about a hundred miles, through a desolate and hideous coun- try, where were very few settlements ; in which journey he suffered much fatigue and hardship. He visited some In- dians on the way, and discoursed with them concerning Chris- tianity. Was melancholy and disconsolate, being alone in a strange wilderness. On Saturday, he came to a settlement of Irish and Dutch people, about twelve miles above the Forks of Delaware. "Lord's day, May X'^. Rose early; felt very poorly after my long journey, and after being wet and fatigued. Was very melancholy ; have scarcely ever seen such a gloomy morning in my life ; there appeared to be no Sabbath; the children were all at play; I a stranger in the wilder- ness, and knew not where to go ; and all circumstances seemed to conspire to render my affairs dark and discouraging. Was disappointed respect- ing an interpreter, and heard that the Indians were much scattered. I mourned after the presence of God, and seemed like a creature banished from his sight ! yet he was pleased to support my sinking soul, amidst all my sorrows; so that I never entertained any thought of quit- ting my business among the poor Indians ; but was comforted, to think, that death would ere long set me free from these distresses. Rode about three or four miles to the Irish people, where I found some that appeared sober and concerned about religion. My heart then began to be a litlle encouraged : went and preached, first to the Irish, and then to the Indians ; and in the evening, was a little comforted ; my soul seemed to rest on God, and take courage. Oh that the Lord would be my support and comforter in an evil world ! May 14. Was very busy in some necessary studies. Felt myself very loose from all the world ; all appeared ' vanity and vexation of spirit.' Seemed lonesome and disconsolate, as if I were banished from all man- kind, and bereaved of all that is called pleasurable in the world ; hut appeared to myself so vile and unworthy, it seemed fitter for me to be here than anywhere. "May 15. Still much engaged in my studies; and enjoyed more health, than I have for some time past ; but was somewhat dejected in spirit with a sense of my meanness ; seemed as if I could never do any- thing at all to any good purpose, by reason of ignorance and folly. Oh that a sense o£ these things might work more habitual humility in my soul ! " May 17. Was this day greatly distvessed with a sense of my vil^ MEMOIRS OF RRAINERD. lOI ness; appeared to myself too bad to walk on God's earth, or to be treated with kindness by any of his creatures. God was pleased to let me see my inward pollution and corruption, to such a degree, that I almost despaired of being more holy : ' O wretched man that I am ! who shall deliver me from the body of this death ? ' In the afternoon, met with the Indians, according to appointment, and jireached to them. And while riding to them, my soul seemed to confide in God; and afterwards had some relief and enlargement of soul in prayer, and some assistance in the duty of intercession ; vital piety and holiness appeared sweet to me, and I longed for the perfection of it. ^'May i8. Felt again somewhat of the sweet spirit of religion ; and my soul seemed to confide in God, that he would never leave me. Hut oftentimes saw myself so mean a creature, that I knew not how to think of preaching. Oh that I could always live to, and upon God ! ''May\^. Was, some part of the time, gre- oppressed with the weight and burden of my work ; it seemed '• ^e for me ever to go through with the business I had undertal - »wards night was very calm and comfortable ; and T think, my soui '»d in God for help. " Lord's day, May 20. Preached twice to .. j poor Indians ; and en- joyed some freedom in speaking, while I attempted to remove their prejudices, against Christianity. My soul longed for assistance from above, all the while ; for I saw 1 had no strength sufficient for that work. After- wards, preached to the Irish people; was much assisted in the first prayer, and somewhat in the sermon. Several persona seemed much concerned for their souls, with whom I discoursed afterwards with much freedom and some power. Blessed be God for any assistance afforded to an unworthy worm. Oh that I could live to him !" Through the remainder of this week, he was sometimes ready to sink with a sense of his unworthiness and unfitness for the work of the ministry ; and sometimes encouraged and lifted above his fears and sorrows, and was enabled confident- ly to rely on God ; and especially on Saturday, towards night, he enjoyed calmness and composure, and assistance in prayer to God. He rejoiced, "that God remains unchangeably powerful and faithful, a sure and sufficient portion, and the dwelling-place of his children in all generations." ^^ Lords day, May 27. Visited my Indians, in the morning, and attended a funeral among them ; was affected to see their heathenish practices. Oh that they might be ' turned from darkness to light I ' Afterwards got a considerable number of them together, and preached to tJiem J and observed them very attentive. After this, preached to the loa MEMOIRS OF niiAINERD, white people from Ileb. ii. 3. How shall we escape if we neglect etc. Was enabled to speak with some freedom and power ; several people seemed much concerned fur their souls ; especially one who had been educated a Roman Catholic. Blessed be the Lord for any help. " May 28. Set out from the Indians above the Forks of the Delaware, on a journey towards Newark, in New Jersey, according to my orders. Rode through the wilderness ; was much fatigued with the heat ; lodged at a place called Hlack River; was exceedingly tired and worn out." On Tuesday he came to Newark. The next day went to Elizabethtown, and Thursday to New York, and on Friday returned to Elizabethtown. These days were spent in some perplexity of mind. He continued at Elizabeth- town till Friday in the week following. Was enlivened, re- freshed, and strengthened on the Sabbath at the Lord's table. The ensuing days of the week were spent chiefly in studies preparatory to his ordination : and on some of them he seemed to have much of God's gracious presence, and of the sweet influences of his Spirit ; but was in a very weak state of body. On Saturday he rode to Newark. '^ LonPs day, June \o. [At Newark] in the morning was much con- cerned how I should perform the work of the day ; and trembled at the thoughts of being left to myself. Enjoyed very considerable assistance in all parts of the public service. Had an opportunity again to attend on the ordinance of the Lord's supper, and through divine goodness was re- freshed in it: my soul was full of love and tenderness towards the children of God, and towards, all men ; felt a certain sweetness of dis- position towards every creature. At night, I enjoyed more spirituality and sweet desire of holiness, than I have felt for some time : was afraid of every thought and every motion, lest thereby my heart should be drawn away from God. Oh that I might never leave the blessed God ! ' Lord, in thy presence is fullness of joy.' O the blessedness of living to God! "_/«;//? II. This day the Presbytery met at Newark in order to my ordination. Was very weak and disordered in body; yet endeavored to repose my confidence in God. Spent most of the day alone ; especially the forenoon. At three in the afternoon preached my probation sermon, from Acts xxvi. 17, 18. Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, etc. being a text given me for that end. Felt not well either in body or mind; however, God carried me through comfortably. After- wards, passed an examination before the Presbytery. Was much tired, and my mind burdened with the greatness of that charge I was in the most MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 103 •olemn manner about to take upon me ; my mind was so pressed with the weight of the W(jrk incumbent upon me, that I could not sleep this night, though very weary and in great need of rest. '' Jutu 12. Was this morning further examined, respecting my ex- perimental acquaintance with Chiistianity.* At ten o'clock my ordination was attended ; the sermon preached by the Rev, Mr. Pembcrton. At this lime I was affected with a sense of tne important trust committed to me ; yet was composed, and solemn, without distraction ; and 1 hope that then, as many times before, I gave myself up to God, to be for him, and not for another. O that I might always be engaged in the service of God, and duly remember the solemn charge I have received, in the presence of God, angels, and men. Amen, May I be assisted of God for this purpose. — Towards night, rode to Elizabethtown." • Mr. Pemberton in a letter to the society in Scotland, published in the Christian Monthly History, v.Tites thus. " We can with pleasure say, tliat Mr Brainerd passed throu>;h his ordination trial to the universal appi ubation of the Presbytery, and appeared unct)mmonly qualified for the work of the ministry. He seems to be armed with a great deal of self- denial, and animated with a noble zeal to propaj^ate the gospel among th*se barbarous Qittioiis, who have long dwelt iu the darkness of heathenism." ^^>^'^^.o. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) // L<^ / •'»^ ^ 4- 1.0 I.I 1.25 l£|2| ^ 1^ M i.8 M. IIIIII.6 6" V] <^ /a ^^ # Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEB»TER,N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 ■'^ iV iV €^^.. <>x^\^ A. >V^. ^^u 4^^. <^>»^ ■^ '^ ^ t<-^ 5f^ l\^ ^ .104 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. CHAPTER VI. Enters upon a mission among the Indians at Crossweeksung. — A succinct account of his Missionary labor and success both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of ths Delaware, in a Letter of Brainerd's to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton. *' June 13, [1744.] Spent considerable time in writing an account of the Indian affairs to go to Scotland ; some, in conversation with friends; but enjoyed not much sweetness and satisfaction. ^^ June 14. Received some particular kindness from friends ; and wondered, that God should open the hearts of any to treat me with kind- ness; saw myself to be unworthy of any favor from God, or any of my fellow-men. Was much exercised with pain in my head ; however, I determined to set out on my journey towards the Delaware in the after- noon ; but when the afternoon came, my pain increased exceedingly ; so that I was obliged to betake myself to bed. The night following, I was greatly distressed with pain and sickness ; was sometimes almost bereaved of the exercise of reason by the extremity of pain. Continued much dis- tressed till Saturday, when I was somewhat relieved by an emetic; but was unable to walk abroad till the Monday following, in the afternoon; and still remained very fee'Me. I often admired the goodness of God, that he did not suffer me to proceed on my journey from this place where I was so tenderly used, and to be sick by the way among strangers. God is very gracious to me, both in health and sickness, and intermingles much mercy with all my afllictions and toils. Enjoyed some sweetness in things divine, in the midst of my pain and weakness. Oh that I could praise the Lord." On Tuesday, June 19, he set out on his journey home, and in three days reached his residence, near the Forks of Delaware.* Performed the journey under much weakness of body ; but had comfort in his soul, from day to day ; and both his weakness of body, and consolation of mind, con- tinued through the week. " LortPi day, June 24. Extremely feeble ; scarcely able to walk ; however visited my Indians, and took much pains to instruct them ; labored with some that were much disaffected to Christianity. My niind was much burdened with the weight and difficulty of my work. My *[Near where Easton, Pa,, is now situated. Ed.] MEMOIRS OF BRA TNERD. I OS whole dependence and hope of success seemed to be on God ; who alone I saw could make them willing to receive instruction, My heart was much engaged in prayer, sending ui) silent requests to God, even while I was speaking to them. O, that I could always go in the strength of the Lord ! "■ June 2J. Was somewhat better m health than of late ; and was able to spend a considerable part of the day in prayer and close study. Had more freedom and fervency in prayer than usual of late ; especially longed for the presence of God in my work, and that the poor Heathen might be converted. And in evening nrayer, my faith and hope in God were much raised. To an eye of reason, every thing that respects the con- version of the heathen, is as dark as midnight; and yet I cannot but hope in God for the accomplishment of something glorious among them. My soul longed much for the advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom on earth. Was very fearful lest I should admit some vain thought, and so lose the sense I then had of divine things. Oh for an abiding heavenly temper ! '*/«w 26. In the morning, my desires seemed to rise, and ascend up freely to God. Was busy most of the day in translating prayers into the language of the Delaware Indians ; met with great difficulty, because my interpreter was altogether unacquainted with the business. IJut though I was much discouraged with the extreme difificulty of that work, yet God supported me; and especially in the evening, gave me sweet refreshment, hi prayer, my soul was enlarged, and my faith dr.-'.wn into sensible exer- cise ; was enabled to cry to God for my poor Indians; and though the work of their conversion appeared impossible with man, yet with God I saw all things were possible. My faith was much strengthened, by observ- ing the ^\ nderful assistance God afforded his servants Nehemiah and Ezra, in reforming his people, and re-establishing his ancient church. I was much assisted in prayer for my dear Christian friends, and for others whom I apprehended to be Christless; but was more especially concerned fur the poor Heathen, and those of my own charge ; was enabled to be instant in prayer for them ; and hopeful that God would bow the heavens and come down for their salvation. It seemed to me, that there could be no impediment sufficient to obstruct that glorious work, seeing the living God, as I strongly hoped, was engaged for it, I continued in a solemn frame, lifting up my heart to God for assistance and grace, that I might be more mortified to this present world, that my whole soul might be taken up continually in concern for the advancement of Christ's kinr;dom. Earnestly desired that God would purge me more, more, that I might be as a chosen vessel to bear his name among the heathens. Continued in this frame till I fell asleep. "/««/ 27. Felt something of the same solemn concern, and spirit of --IS h — -^■aST io6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. prayer, which I enjoyed last night, soon after I rose in the morning. In the afternoon, rode several miles to see if 1 could procure any lands for the poor Indians, that they might live together, and be under better ad- vantages for instruction. — While I was riding, had a deep sense of the greatness and difficulty of my v/ork ; and my soul seemed to rely wholly upon God for success, in the diligent and faithful use of means. Saw with the greatest certainty, that the arm of the Lord must be revealed, for the help of these poor Heathen, if ever they were delivered from ihe bondage of the powers of darkness. Spent most of the time, while rid- ing, in lifting up my heart for grace and assistance. "y«« i6 MEMOIRS, OF BRAINERD. '■'■Sept. I. Was so far strengthened, after a season of great weakness, that I was able to spend two or three hours in writing on a divine subject. Enjoyed some comfort and sweetness in things divine and sacred ; and as my bodily strength was in some measure restored, so my soul seemed to be somewhat vigorous, and engaged in the things of God. '■'^ LorWs day Sept. 2. Was enabled to speak to my poor Indians with mnch concern and fervency ; and I am pcrsuadeti, t!iat God enabled me to exercise faith in him, while I was speaking tc them. I perceived that some of them we/e afraid to hearken to and embrace Christianity, lest they should be enchanted and poisoned by some of the powwows; but I was enabled to plead with them not to fear these ; and, confiding in ']o(l for sccfety and deliverance, I bid a challenge to all these powers of dark- ness, to do their worst on me Inst. I told my people that I was a Chris- tian, and asked them why the powwows did not bewitch and poison nie. I scarcely ever felt more sensible of my own un'vorthiness,thanin this action, T saw that the honor of God was concerned in the affair ; and desired to b preserved, not from selfish views, but for a testimony of the divine power and goodness, and of the truth of Christianity, and that God might be glorified. Afterwards, I found my soul rejoice in God for his assist- ing grace." After this, he went a journey into New-England, and was absent from the place of his abode, at the Forks of Delawn.re, about three weeks. He was in a feeble state the greater part of the time. But in the latter part of the journey, he found that he gained much in health and strength. As to the state of his mind, and his spiritual exercises, it was much with him as usual in his journeys ; excepting that the frame of his mind seemed more generally to be comfortable. In his journey, he did noi forget tl c Indians ; but once and again speaks of his longing for their conversion. ** Stpt. 26. Rode home to the Forks of Delaware. What reason have I to bless God, who has preserved me in riding more than four hundred and twenty miles, and has ' kept all my bones, that not one of thcni has been broken ! ' My health likewise is greatly recovered. O that I could dedicate my all to God ! This is aH the return I can make to him. •'Sept. 27. Was somewhat melancholy ; had not much freedom and comfort in prayer : my soul is disconsolate when God is withdrawn.— Sept. 28. Spent the day in pr.-.yer, reading, and writing. Felt some small degree of warmth in prayer, and some desires of the enlargement nf Christ's kingdom by the conversion of the Heathen, and that God w^uld MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 117 make me a chosen ve5:scl, to bear his name before them ; ' longed for (;race lo ciuil)lc nie to l)c faithful.' The next chiy he speaks of the same earnest desires for the advancement of Christ's kingdom by the conversion of the Indians, but complains greatly of the ill effects of the diver- sions of his late journey, as unfixing his mind from that degree of engagedness, fervency, and watchfullness, which he enjoyed before. The like complaints are continued the day after. " Oct. 1. Was engaged this day in making preparations for my in^^ended journey to the Susquehannah. Withdrew several times to the woods for secret duties, and endeavored to plead for the divine preseiice to go with me to the poor Pagans, to whom I was going to preach the gospel. To- wards night rode about four miles, and met brother Byram ; * who was come, at my desire, to b:: my companion in travel to the Tndians. I re- joiced to see him ; and, 1 trust, God made his conversation profitable to me. I oaw him, as I thought, more dead to the world ; its anxious cares, and alluring objects, than I was : and this made me look within myself, and gave me a greater sense of my guilt, ingratitude and misery. " Oct, 2. Set out on my journey, in company with dear brother Byram, and my interpreter, and two chief Indians from the Forks of Delaware. Travelled about twenty-five niiles, and lodged in one of the last houses on our road; after which there was nothing but a hideous and howling wilderness. " Oct. 3. We went on our way into the wilderness, and found the most (lifticult and dangerous travelling, by far, that ever any of us had seen. We had scarce anything else but lofty mountains, deep vallcy^% and hid- eous rocks, to make our w.iy through. However, I felt some sweetness in divine things, part of the day, and had my mind intensely engaged in meditation on a divine subject, Near night my beast on which I rode, hung one of her legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; bat through tiivin'' goodness, T was noi hurt. However, she broke her leg ; and being m such a hideous place, and near thirty miles from any house, I saw noth- ing that could be done to perserve her life, and so was obliged to kill her, and to prosecute my journey on foot. This accident made me admire the divine goodness to me, that my bones were not broken, and the mul- titude of them filled with strong pain. Just at dark, we kindled a fire, cut lip a few bushes, and made a shelter over our heads, to save us from the frost, which was very hard that night ; and committ'ng ourselves to God by prayer, we lay down on the ground, and slep^ quietly." !5| CO I '" ""I Cfcr "*S5 m MinsUr at a place called Kockciticus, about forty miles froin Hrainerd's lodging*. ^mmm :..'(?ll ii8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. The next day, they went forward on their journey, and at night took up their lodgings in the woods in like manner. " Oil. 5. We reached the Susquchannah river, at a Opeholhaupung, and found there twelve Indian houses. place callc'l After I had saluted the king in a friendly manner T told him my business, and that my desire was to teach them Christianity. After some consultatijii, the Indians gathered, and I preached to them. And when I had done, I asked if they would hear me again. They replied, that they would consider of it ; and soon after sent me word, that they would immediately attend, it I would preach ; which I did, with freedom, both times. When I aeked them again, whether they would hear me further, they replied, they would the next day. I was exceeding sensible of the impossibility of doing anv thing for the poor heathen without special assistance from above ; and my soul seemed to rest on God, and leave it to him to do as he pleased in that which I saw was his own cause. Indeed, though divine goodness, 1 had felt somewhat of this frame most of the time while I was travelling thither, and in some nieasure before I set out. " Oct. 6. Rose early and besought the Lord for help in my great work. Near noon, preached again to the Indians ; and in the afternoon, visited them from house to house, and invited them to come and hear nie again the next day, and put off their hunting design, which they were just entering upon, till Monday. 'This night,' I trust, 'The Lord stood by me,' to encourage and strengthen my soul ; I spent more than an hour in secret retirement ; was enabled to * pour out my heart before God,' for the increase of grace in my soul, for ministerial endowments, for suc- cess among the poor Indians, for God's ministers and people, for distant dear friends, etc. IJlessed be God." The next day, he complains of great want of fixedness and intenseness in religion, so that he could not keep any spirit- ual thought one minute without distraction ; which occasioned angu^'sh of spirit. He felt amazingly guilty, and extremely miserable; and cries out, "O, my soul, what death it is, to have the affections unable to centre in God, by reason of darkness, and consequent roving after that satisfaction else- where, that is only to be found here ! " However, he preached twice to the Indians with considerable freedom and power; but was afterwards damped by the objections they made against Christianity. In the evening, in a sense of his great defects m preaching, he " intreated God not to impute to him blood- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 119 guiltiness ; " but yet was at the same time enabled to rejoice in God. " Oct. 8. Visited the Indians with a design to take my leave of them, supposing they would this morning go out to hunting early : but beyond mv expectation and hope, they desired to hear me preach again, I gladly complied with their request, and afterwards endeavored to answer their objections against Christianity. Then they went away ; and we spent the rest of the afternoon in reading and prayer, intending to go homeward very early the next day. My soul was in some measure refreshed in seret prayer and meditation. Blessed be the Lord for all his goodness." " Oct. 9. We rose about four in the mornii.g, and, commending our- selves to God by prayer, and asking his special protection, we set out on our journey homewards about five, and travelled with great steadiness till past six at night ; and then made us a fire, and a shelter of barks and so rested. I had some clear and comfortable thoughts on a divine sub- ject, by the way, towards night. In the night, the wolves howled around us; but God preserved us." The next day, they rose early, and traveled till they came to an Irish settlement, with which Brainerd was acquainted, and lodged there. He speaks of some sweetness in divine things, and thankfulness to God for his goodness to him in this journey, though attended with shame for his barrenness. On Thursday both he and Mr. Byram preached to the people. " Oct. 12. Rode home to my lodgings; where I poured out my soul to God in secret prayer, and endeavored to bless him for his abundant gooflness to me in my late journey. I scarcely ever enjoyed more health, at least of later yeais; and God marvellously, and almost miraculously, supported me under the fatigues of the way, and traveling on foot. Blessed be the Lord who continually preserves me in all my ways." On Saturday, he went again to the Irish settlement, to spend the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone. ^^ Lord's Day, Oct. 14. Was much confused and perplexed in my thoughts ; could not pray ; and was almost discouraged, thinking I should never be able to preach any more. Afterwards, God was pleased to give me some relief from these confusions ; but still I was afraid, and even troubled before God. i went to the place of public worship, lifting up Jny heart to God for assistance and grace, in my great work . and Ciod was gracious to me, helping me to plead with him for holiness, and to ..r> 120 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. use the strongest arguments with hhn, drawn from the incarnation anl sufferings of Christ for this very ciul, that men might be midc lioiv. Afterwards, I was much assisted in preaching. I know not that ever lloj helped me to preach in a more close and distinguishing manner for the trial of men's staie. Through the infinite goodness of God, I felt what I spoke ; he enabled me to treat on divine truth witL uncommon clear- ness ; and yet I was so sensible of my defects in preaching, that I could not be proud of my performance, as at some times ; and blessed be ilie Lord for this mercy. In the evening I longed to be entirely alone, to bless God for help in a time of extremity ; and longed for great degrees of holiness, that I might show my gratitude to God." The next morning, he spent some time before sunrise in prayer, in the same sweet and grateful frame of mind, that he had been in the evening before ; and, afterwards, went to his Indians, and spent some time in teaching and exhorting them, " Oct. 16. Felt a spirit of solemnity and watchfulness ; was afraid I should not live to and upon God ; longed for more intenseness and spirituality. Spent the day in writing ; frequently lifting up my heart to God for more heavenly mindedness. In the evening, enjoyed sweet assistance in prayer ; thirsted and pleaded to be as holy as the blessed angels ; longed for ministerial gifts and graces, and success in my work ; was sweetly assisted in the duty of intercession ; and enabled to remem- ber and plead for numbers of dear friends, and of Christ's ministers. " Oct. 19. Felt an abasing sense of my own impurity and unholincss; and felt my soul melt and mourn, that I had abused and grieved a very gracious God, who was st'll kind to me, notwithstanding all my unworthi- ness. My soul enjoyed a sweet season of bitter repentance and sorrow, that I h.ad wronged that blessed God, who, I was persuaded, was recon- ciled ':o me in bin dear Son. My soul was now tender, devout, and solemn. And I was afraid of nothing but sin ; and afraid of that in every action and thought. " Oct. 24. Near noon, rode to my people ; silent some time and prayed with them ; felt the frame of a pilgrim on eaith; longed much to leave this gloomy mansion ; but yet found the exercise of patience and resignation. And, vs I returned home from the Indians, spent the whole time in lifting, up my heart to God. In the evening, enjoyed a blessed season alone in prayei ; was enabled to cry to God with a childlike spirit, for the space of near an hour ; enjoyed a sweet freedom in suppli- cating for myself, for dear friends, ministers, and some who are preparing for that work, and for the church of God ; and longed to be as lively mv self in God's service as the angels. em MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 121 " Oct, 25. Was busy in writing. Was very sensible of my absolute flepciidencc on God in all respects ; saw that I could do nothing, even in those affairs tor which I have suflicient natural faculties, unless Clod shmild smile on my attempt. ' Nut that we are sulificicnt of ourselves, to think any thing as of ourselves,' I saw was a sacred truth. " Oct. 26. In the morning, my soul was melted with a sense of divine goodness and mercy to such a vile unworthy worm. I delighted to lean upon God, and place my whole trust in him. My soul was exceedingly grieved for sin, and prized, and longed after holiness ; it wounded my heart deeply, yet sweetly, to think how I had abused a kind God. I longed to be perfectly holy, that I might not grieve a gracious God ; who will continue to love, notwithstanding his love is abused ! I longed for holiness more for this end, than I did for my own happinesE* sake ; and yet this was my greatest happiness, never more to dishonor, but al'vays to glorify the blessed God. Afterwards, rode up to the Indians, in the after- noon, etc." The next few days, he was exercised with much disorder and pain of body, with a degree of melancholy and gloomi- ness of mind, bitterly complaining of deadness and unprofit- ableness, yet longing after God. " Oct. 31. Was sensible of my barrenness and decay in the things of God : my soul failed when I remembered the fervency which I had enjoyed at the throne of grace. O, I thought, if I could but be spiritual, warm, heavenly-rainded, and affectionately breathing after God, this would be better than life to me ! My soul longed exceedingly for death, to be loosed from this dullness and barrenness, and made for ever active in the service of God. I seemed to live for nothing, and to do no good ; and O, the burden of such a life ! O death, death, my kind friend, hasten, and deliver me from dull mortality, and make me spiritual and vigorous to eternity. '■' A'cro. I. Had but little sweetness in divine things; but afterwards, in the evening, felt some life and longings after God. I longed to be al- ways solemn, devout, and heavenly-minded ; and was afraid to leave off praying, lest I should again lose a sense of the sweet things of God. " Nov. 2. Was filled with sorrow and confusion in the morning, and could enjoy no sweet sense of divine things, nor get any relief in prayer. Saw I deserved that every one of God's creatures should be let loose, to be the executioners of his wrath against me; ind yet therein saw I de- served what I did not fear as my portion. About noon, rode up to the hulians ; and while going, could feel no desi'-es for them, and even dreaded to say anything to them; but God was pleased to give me some ^i^ 122 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. t I •Hit freedom and enlargement, and made the season comfortable to me. In the evening, had enlargement in prayer. But, alas! what comforts and enlargements I have felt for these many weeks past have been only tran- sient and short ; and the greater part of my time has been filled up with deadness, or struggles with deadness, and bitter conflicts with corruption. I have found myself exercised sorely with some particular things that I thought myself most of all freed from. And thus I have ever found it,— when I have thought the battle was over, and the conquest gained, and s(j let down my watch, the enemy has risen up and done me the greatest in- jury. " Nov. 3. I read the life and trials of a godly man, and was much warmed by it; I wondered at my past deadness; and was more convinced of it than ever. Was enabled to confess and bewail my sin before God, with self-abhorrence. — Lord's day, Nov. 4. Had, I think, some exercise of faith in prayer, in the morning ; longed to be spiritual Had con- siderable help in preaching to my poor Indians ; was encourared with them, and hoped that God designed mercy for them." His letter to the Rev. Mr. Pemberton of New York, giv- ing, by request, some account of his missionary labors and success, both at Kaunaumeek and at the Forks of Delaware. " Forks of Dblaware, Nov. 5, 1744. " Rev. Sir: " Since you are pleased to require of me some brief and general ac- count of my conduct in the affair of my mission among the Indians; the pains and endeavors I have used to propagate Christian knowledge among them; the difficulties I have met with in pursuance of that great work; and the hopeful and encouraging appearances I have observed in any of them; I shall now endeavor to answer your demands, by giving a brief but faith- ful account of the most material things relating to that important affair, with which I have been and am still concerned. This I shall do with more freedom and cheerfulness, both because I apprehend it will be a likely means to give pious persons, who are concerned for the kingdom of Christ, some just apprehension of the many and great difficulties that at- tend the propagation of it among the poor Pagans ; and consequently, it is hoped, will engage their more frequent and fervent prayers to God, that those may be succeeded, who are employed in this arduous work. Ik- sides, I persuade myself, that the tidings of the gospel spreading among the poor heathen, will be, to those who are waiting for the accomplish- ment of the 'glorious things spoken of the city of our God,' as 'good news from a far country ; ' and that these will be so far from ' despising the day of small things,' that, on the contrary, the least dawn of encourage- ment and hope, in this important affair, will rather inspire their pious MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 123 breasts with more qenerous and warm desires, that ' the kingdoms of this world, may speedily become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ.' I shall therefore immediately proceed to the business before me, and briefly touch upon the most importatit matters that have concerned my mission, from the beginning to this present time. *'On March 15, 1743, I waited on the Correspondents for the Indian mission at New York; and the week following, attended their meeting at Woodbridge, in New Jersey, and was speedily dismissed by them with orders to attempt the instrui'tion of a number of Indians in a place some miles distant from the city of Albany. And on the first day of April follow- ing, I arrived among the Indians, at a place called by them Kaunaumeek, in the county of Albany, nearly twenty miles distant from the city eastward. " The place, as to its situation, was sufficiently lonesome and unpleasant, being encompassed with mountains and woods; twenty miles distant from any English inhabitants; six or seven from any Dutch; and more than two from a family that came some time since, from the Highlands of Scotland, and had then lived, as I remember, about two years in this wildcrne?s. In this family I lodged about the space of three months, the master of it bei g the only person with whom I could readily converse in those parts, except my interpreter; others understanding very little English. "After I had spent about three months in this situation, I J'ound my distance from the Indians a very great disadvantage to my wori: among them, and very burdensome to myself ; as I was obliged to travel f )rward and backward almost daily on foot, having no pasture in which I could keep my horse for that purpose. And after all my pains, could not be with the Indiano in the evening and morning, which were usually the lx;st hours to find them at home, and when they could best attend my in- structions. I therefore resolved to remove, and live with or near the Indians, that I might watch all opportunities, when they were generally at home, and take the advantage of such seasons for their instructions. "Accordingly I removed soon after; and, for some time, lived with them in one of their wigwams ; and, not long after, built me a small house, where I spent the remainder of that year entirely alone ; my interpreter, who was an Iridian, choosing rather to live in a wigwam among his own countrymen. This way of living I found attended with many difficulties, and uncomfortable circumstances, in a place where I could get none of the necessaries and common comforts of life, (no, not so much as a morsel ot bread,) but what I brought from places fifteen and twenty mi'es distant, and oftentimes was obliged, for some time together, to content myself without, for want of an opportunity to procure the things I needed. " But although the difficulties of this solitary way of living are not the least, or most inconsiderable, (and doubtless are, in fact, many more and greater to those who experience, than they can readily appear to those MMR' 51 GO 'X, wmm 124 MEMOIRS OF PRATNERD. t 4. -Ml; who only view them .it a distance,) yet I can truly say that the burden I felt respecting my grc:it work .iniung the poor Indians, liic fear and con- cern that continually hung upon n\y spirit, lest they should he prejudiced against Christianity, and their minds imbittered against nic, and my labors among them by means of the insinuations of some who, althcugh they are called Christians, seem to have no concern for Christ's kingdom, but had rather (as their conduct plainly discovers) that the Indians should remain heathens, ihat they may with the more ease cheat, and so enrich them- selves by then — were much more pressing to mc, than all the diftkult'es that attended the circumstances of my living. " As to the state or temper of mind in which I found these Indians, at my first coming among them, I may justly say, it was much more de- sirable and encouraging, than what appears among those who are altogether uncultivated. Their heathenish jealousies and suspicion, and their pre- judices against Christianity, were in a great measure removed by the long- continued labors of the Reverend Mr. Sergeant among a number of the same tribe, in a place little more than twenty miles distant. Hence, these were, in some good degree, prepared to entertain the truths of Christianity, instead of objecting against them, and appearing almost entirely untract- able, as is common with them at first, and as, perhaps, these appeared a few years ago. Some of them, at least, appeared very well disposed towards religion, and seemed much pleased with my coming among them. " In my labors with them, in order to ' turn them from darkness to light,' I studied what was most plain and easy, and best suited to their capacities ; and endeavored to set before them from time to time, as they were able to receive them, the most important and necessary truths of Christianity , such as most immediately concerned their speedy conver- sion to (iod, and such as I judged had the greatest tendency, as means, to effect that glorious change in them. But especially I made it the scope and drift of all my labors, to lead them into a thorough acquaint- ance with these two things. P'irst, The sinfulness and misery of the estate they were naturally in ; the evil of their hearts, the pollution of their natures ; the heavy guilt they were under, and their exposedness to ever- lasting punishment ; as also their utter inability to save themselves, either from their sins, or from those miseries which are the just punish- ment of them ; and their unworthiness of any mercy at the hand of God, on account of anything they themselves could do to procure his favor, and consequently their extreme need of Christ to save them. And, secondly, I frequently endeavored to open to them the fullness, all-suffi- ciency, and freeness of that redemption, which the Son of God has wrought out by his obedience and sufferings, for perishing sinners ; how this pro vision he had made, was suited to all their wants ; and how he called and invited them to accept of everlasting life freely, notwithstanding all their sinfulness, inability, unworthiness, etc MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 125 •'After T had been with the Indians several months, T composed sundry forms of prayer, adapted to their circumstances and capacities ; which, with the help of my interpreter, I translated into the Indian language; and soon learned to pronounce their words, so as to pray with them in their own tongue. I also translated sundry psalms into their language, and soon after we were able to sing in the worship of God. " When my people had gained some acquaintance with many of the trutiis of Christianity, so that they were capable of receiving and under- standing many others, which at first could not be taught them, by rcas'on (if their ignorance of th-^se that were necessary to be previously known, and upon which others ti.,pcnded ; I then gave thcni an historical account of (lod's dealings with his ancient professing people the Jews ; some of the rites and ceremonies they were obliged to observe, as their sacrifices, etc. ; and what these were designed to represent to them ; as also some of the surprising miracles God wrought for their salvation, while they trusted in him, and sore punishments he sometimes brought upon them, when they forsook and sinned against him. Afterwards I proceeded to give them a relation of the birth, life, miracles, sufferings, death, and resurrection of Christ; as well as his ascension, and the wonderful effusion of the holy Spirit consequent thereupon. " And having thus endeavored to prepare the way by such a general account of things, I next proceeded to read and expound to them the gospel of St. Matthew (at least the substance of it) in course, wherein they had a more distinct and particular view of what they had before some general notion. These expositions I attended almost every even- ing, when there was any considerable number of them at home ; except when I was obliged to be absent myself, in order to learn the Indian language with the Rev. Mr. Sergeant. Besides these means of instruc- tion, there was likewise an English school constantly kept by my inter- preter among the Indians; which I used frcqu ;ntly to visit, in order to give the children and young people sonic proper instructions, and serious exhortations suited to their age. The degree of knowledge to which some of them attained, was considerable. Many of the truths of Chris- tianity seemed fixed in their minds, especially in some instances, so that they would speak to me of them, and ask such questions about them, as were necessary to render them more plain and clear to their understand- ings. The children, also, and young people, who attended the school, made considerable proficiency (at least some of them) in their learning; so that had they understood the English language well, they would have D«en able to read somewhat readily in a psalter. "But that which was most of all desirable, and gave me the greatest encouragement amidst many difficulties and disconsolate hours, was, that the truths of God's word seemed, at times, to be attended with some 126 MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD, i -« . ■*• power upon the hearts and consciences of the Indians. And especially this appeared evident in a few instances, who were awakened to some sense of their miserable estate by nature, and appeared solicitous for deliverance from it. Several of them came, of their own accord, t j dis- course with me about their soul's concerns ; and some, with tears, in- quired * what they should do to be saved ? ' and whether the God that Christians served, would be merciful to those that had been frequently drunk, etc. '* And although I cannot say that I have satisfactory evidences of their being ' renewed in the spirit of their mind,' and savingly converted to (lod ; yet the spirit of God did, I apprehend, in such a manner at- tend the means of grace, and so operate upon their minds thereby, as might justly afford matter of encouragement, to hope that God designed good to them, and that he was preparing his way into their souls. "There likewise appeared a reformation in the lives and manners of the Indians. Their idolatrous sacrifices (of which there was but one or two, that I know of, after my coming among them) were wholly laid aside. And their heathenish custom of dancing, hallooing, etc., they seemed in a considerable measure to have abandoned. And I could not but hope, that they were reformed in some measure from the sin of drunkenness. They likewise manifested a regard for the Lord's day, and not only behaved soberly themselves, but took care also to keep their children in order. " Yet, after all, I must confess, that as there were many hopeful ap- pearances among them, so there were some things more discouraging. And while I rejoiced to observe any seriousness and concern among them about the affairs of their souls, still I was not without continual fear and concern, lest such encouraging appearances might prove ' like a morning cloud, that passeth away.' *' When I had spent near a year with the Indians, I informed them that I expected to leave them in the spring then approaching, and to be sent to another tribe of Indians, at a great distance from them. On hearing this, they appeared very sorrowful, and some of them endeavored to persuade me to continue with them ; urging that they had now heard so much about their souls' concerns, that they could never more be will- ing to live as they had done, without a minister, and further instructions in the way to heaven, etc. Whereupon I told them, they ought to be willing that others also should hear about their souls' concerns, seeing those needed it as much as themselves. Yet further to dissuade me from going, they added, that those Indians, to whom I had thoughts of going (as they had heard) were not willing to become Christians as thev were, and therefore urged me to tarry with them. I then told them, that they might receive further instruction without me ; but the Indians to MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 127 whom I expected to he sent, could not, there being no minister near to teach them And hereupon I advised them in case I should leave them, and be sent elsewhere, to remove to Stockbridge, where they might be supplied with land, and conveniences of living, and be under the ministry of the Rev. Mr. Sergeant : with which advice and proposal, they seemed disposed to comply. "April 6, 1744, I was directed by the correspondents for the Indian mission, to take leave of the people, with whom I had then spent a full year, and to go, as soon as convenient, to a tribe of Indians on Dela- ware river in Pennsylvania. '* These orders I soon attended, and on April 29th took leave of my people, who were mostly removed to Stockbridge under the care of the Kev. Mr. Sergeant. I then set out on my journey towards Delaware ; and on May loth met with a number of Indians in a place cabcd Miunis- sinks, about a hundred and forty miles from Kaunaumeek, (the place where I spent the last year,) and directly in my way to Delaware river. With these Indians I spent some time, and first addressed their king in a friendly manner ; and after some discourse, and attempts to contract a friendship with him, I told him I had a desire (for his benefit and happi- ness) to instruct them in Christianity. At which he laughed, turned his back upon me, and went away. I then addressed another principal man in the same manner, who said he was willing to hear me. After some time, I followed the king into his house, and renewed my discourse to him ; but he declined talking, and left the affair to another, who appeared to be a rational man. He began, and talked very warmly near a quarter of an hour together ; he inquired why I desired the Indians to become Christians, seeing the Christians were so much worse than me Indians are in their present state. The Christians, he said, would lie, steal, and drink, worse than the Indians. It was they first taught the Indains to be drunk : and they stole from one another, to that degree, that their rulers were obliged to hang them for it, and that was not sufificient to deter others from the like practice. Rut the Indians, he added, were none of them ever hanged for stealing, and yet they did not steal half so much ; and he sup- posed that if the Indians should become Christians, they would then be as bad as these. And hereupon he said, they would live as their fathers lived, and go where their fathers were when they died. I then freely owned, lamented and joined with him in condemning the ill conduct of some who are called Christians; told him, these were not Christians m heart; that I hated such wicked jiracticcs, and did not desire the Indians to become su^^h as these. — And when he appeared calmer, I asked him if he was willing that I should rome and see them again ? He replied, he should be willing to see me again, as a friend, if I would not desire them to become Christians. I then bid them farewell, and prosecuted my jour- £4 s % It? .3 wm 128 MEMOfRS OF HRAINEP^. C ■■«■ '•KB ncy towards Delaware. And May ijtli, I arrived at a place called by the Indians Sakhauwotung, within the Forks of Delaware in rtnnsylvania. "Here also, when I came to the Indians, I saluted their king, am! others, in a manner I thought most engaging. And soon after informed the king of my desire to instruct them in the Christim religion. After he had consulted a few minutes with two or three old men, he told nic he was willing to hear. I then ])rcached to those few that were present; who appeared very attentive and well disposed. And the king in particular seemed both to wonder, and at the same time to be well pleased with what I taught them, respecting the divine lieing, etc. And since that time he has ever shown himself frientlly to me, giving me free liberty to preach in his house, whenever I think fit. Here therefore I have spent the greater part of the summer past, preaching usually in the king's house. "The number of Indians in this place is but small; most of those that formerly belonged here, arc dispersed, and removed to places farther back in the country. There are not more than ten houses hereabouts, that continue to be inhabited ; and some of these are several miles dis- tant from others, which makes it difficult for the Indians to meet to- gether so frequently as could be desired. When I first began to preach here, the number of my hearers was very small ; often not exceeding twenty or twenty-five persons; but towards the latter part of the summer, their number increased, so that I have frequently had forty persons, or more, at once ; and oftentimes most belonging to those parts, came together to hear me preach. " The effects which the truths of God's word have had upon some of the I'ldians in this place, are somewhat encouraging. Sundry of them are brought to renounce idolatry, and to decline partaking of those feasts which they used to offer in sacrifice to certain supposed unknown powers. And some few among them have, for a considerable time, manifested a serious concern for their souls' eternal welfare, and still continue to * in- quire the .vay to Zion,' with such diligence, affection, and becoming solicitude, as gives me reason to hope that ' God who, I trust, has begun this work in them,' will carry it on, until it shall issue in their saving con- version to himself. These not only detest their old idolatrous notions, but strive also to bring their friends off from them. And as they are seeking salvation for their own souls, so they seem desirous, and some of them take pains, that others might be excited to do the like. " In July last I heard of a number of Indians residing at a place called Kauksesauchung, more than thirty miles westward from the place where I usually preach. I visited them, found about thirty persons, and pro- posed my desire of preaching to them ; they readily complied, and I preached to them only twice, they being just then removing from this place where they only lived for the present, to Susquehannah-river, where they belonged. MKAfOTRS OF PRAIXERD. 129 "While I was preaching, they appeared sober and attentive; and were somewhat surprised, having never !)cf()rc hoard of these things. There were two or three who suspected that I had some ill design upon them ; and urged, that the white people had abused them, and taken their lands from them, and thorrfore they had no reason to think that they were now concerned for theii happiness ; but, on tb.c contrary, that they designed to make them slaves, or get them on board their vessels, and make them fight with the people over the water, (as they expressed it,) meaning the French and Spaniards. However, the most of them ap- |)carcd very friendly, and told mc, they were then going directly home to Siisciiichannah, and desired I would make them a visit there, and mani- fested a considerable desire of further instruction. This invitation gave mc some encouragement in my great work : and made me hope, that God designed to * open an effectual door to me ' for spreading the gospel among the poor Heathen farther westward. "In the beginning of October last, with the advice and direction of the correspondents for the Indian mission, I undertook a journey to Sus- quchannah. And after three days tedious travel, two of them through a wilderness almost impassable, by reason of mountains and rocks, and two nights lodging in the open wilderness, I came to an Indian settle- ment on the side of Susquehannah river, called Opeholhaupung; where were twelve Indian houses, and about seventy souls, old and young. " Here also, soon after my arrival, I visited the king, addressing him with expressions of kindness ; and after a few words of friendship, in- formed him of my desire to teach them the knowledge of Christianity. He hesitated not long before he told me, that he was willing to hear. I then preached ; and continued there several days^ preaching every day, as long as the Indians were at home. And they, in order to hear me, deferred the design of their general hunting (which they were just then entering upon) for three or four days. " The men, I think universally, (except one) attended my preaching. ^M\\y the women, supposing the affair we were upon was of a public nature, belonging only to the men, and not what every individual person ^liould concern himself with, could not readily be persuaded to come and hear ; but, after much pains used with them for that purpose, some few ventured to come, and stand at a distance. " Wiicn I had preached to the Indians several times, some of them very frankly proposed what they had to object against Christianity ; and so gave me a fair opportunity for using my best endeavors to remove from their minds those scruples and jealousies they labored under : and when I had endeavored to answer their objections, some appeared much satisfied. I then asked the king if he was v.-illing I should visit and preach to them again, if I should live to the next spring } He replied, M&xJ 130 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^"'^ 1 1 ■( ..Jt'U^t . 111 tV?0l!^'f:?l «a n il:" 1 i.\i»0Bmi P he should be heartily willing, for his own part, and added, he wished the young people would learn, etc. I then put the same question to the rcsf some answered they would be very glad, and none manifested any dislike to it. "There were sundry other things in their behavior, which appeared with a comfortable and encouraging aspect ; that, upon the whole, I could not but rejoice I had taken that journey among thern, although it was attended with many difficulties and hardships. The method I used with them, and the instructions I gave them, I am persuaded, were means, in some measure, to remove their heathenish jealousies and pre- judices against Christianity ; and I could not but hope, the God of all grace was preparing their minds to receive ' the truth, as it is in Jesus.' If this may be the happy conscc|uence, I shall not only rejoice in my past labors and fatigues, but shall, I trust, also ' be willing to spend and be spent,' if I may thereby be instrumental 'to turn them from darkness to light, and from the povtrer of Satan to God.' "Thus, Sir, I have given you a faithful account of what has been most considerable respecting my mission among the Indians ; in which I have studied all convenient brevity. I shall only now take leave to .add a word or two respecting the difficulties that attend the Christianizing of these poor Pagans. " In the first place, their minds are filled with prejudices against Christionity, on account of the vicious lives, and unchristian behavior of some that arc called Christians, These not only set before them the worst examples, but some of them take pains, expressly in words, to dis- suade them from becoming Christians; foreseeing, that if these should be converted to God, ' the hope of their unlawful gain,' would thereby be lost. '' Again, these poor heathens are extremely attached to the customs, traditions, and fabulous notions of their fathers. And this one seems to be the foundation of all their other notions, viz. that 'it was not the same God made them, who made the white people,' but another, who con- manded them to live by hunting, etc., and not to conform to the customs of the white people. Hence, when they are desired to become Chris tians, they frequently reply, that 'they will live as their fathers lived, and go to their fathers when they din.' And if the miracles of Christ and his apostles be mentioned, to prove the truth of Christianity, they also mention sundry miracles, which their fathers have told th'^'n were anciently wrought among the Indians, and which Satan makes them be lieve were so. They are much attached to idolatry ; frequently making feasts, which they eat in honor to some unknown beings, who, they sup- pose, speak to them in dreams ; promising them success in hunting, and other affairs, in case they will sacrifice to them. They oftentimes, also, MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD. 131 offer their sacrifices to the spirits of the dead ; who, they suppose, stand in need of favors from the living, and yet are in such a state as that they can well reward all the offices of kindness that are shown them. And they impute all their calamities to the neglect of these sacrifices. "P'urthermore, they aie much awed by those among themselves, who are called powwows, who are supposed to have a power of enchanting, or poisoning them to death, or, at least, in a very distress'ng manner. And they apprehend, it world be their sad fate to be thus enchanted, in case they should become Christians. " Lastly, the manner of their living is likewise a great disadvantage to the design of their being Christianized. They are almost continually roving from place to place; and it is but rare that an opportunity can be had with some of them for their instruction. There is scarce any time of the year, wherein the men can be found generally at home, except about six weeks before, and in the season of planting their corn, and about two months in the latter part of summer, from the time they begin to roast their corn, until it is fit to gather in. " As to the hardships that necessarily attend a mission among them, the fatigues of frequent journeying in the wilderness, the unpleasantness of a mean and hard way of living, and the great difficulty of addressing 'a people of a strange language,' these 1 sholl, at present, pass over in silence; designing what I have already said of difficulties attending this work, not for the discouragement of any, but rather for the incitement of ail who 'love the appearing of the kingdom of Christ,' to frecpicnt the throne of grace with earnest supplications, that the heathen, who were anciently promised to Christ ' for his inheritance,' may new actually and speedily be brought into his kingdom of grace, and made heirs of im- mortal glory. I am, Sir, ** Your obedient, humble servant, " David Bkainerd." The same day, Nov. 5, he set out on a journey to New York, to the meeting of the Presbytery there ; and was from home more than a fortnight. He seemed to enter on this journey with great rekictance ; fearing that the diversions of it would prove a means of cooling his religious affections, as he had found in otner journeys. Yet, in this journey, he had some special seasons wherein he enjoyed extraordinary evi- dences and fruits of God's gracious presence. He was greatly fatigued, and exposed to cold and storms ; and when he returned from New York to New Jersey, on Friday ..~ii (•4m.il o m*m t32 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. C •«-■; *wA J-J Ir^ \^ A A\ tJ \y M MJ i\ dA J. Aw M,^ A\ J^m taken very ill, and was detained by his illness some was time. "iViw. 21. Rode from Newark to Rockciticus in the cold, and was almost overcome with it. Enjoyed some sweetness in conversation with dear Mr. Jones, while I dined with him. My soul loves the people of God, and especially the ministers of Jesus Christ, who feel the same trials that I do. " N(ru. 22. Came on my way from Rockciticus to the Delaware. Was very much disordered with a cold and pain in my head. About six at night, I lost my way in the wilderness, and wandered over rocks and mountains, down hideous steeps, through swamps, and most dreadful and dangerous places; and, the night being dark, so that few stars could be seen, I was greatly exposed. I was much pinched with cold, and dis- tressed with an extreme pain in m.y head, att^inded with sickness at mv stomach ; so that every step I took was distressing to me. I had little hope for several hours together, but that I must lie out in the woods all night, in this distressed case. But about nine o'clock, I found a house through the abundant goodness of God, and was kindly entertained. Thus I have frequently been exposed, and sometimes lain out the whole night; but God has hitherto preserved me; and blessed be his name. Such fatigues and hardships as these serve to wean me from the earth , and, I trust, will make heaven the sweeter. Formerly, when I was thus exposed to cold, rain, etc. I was ready to ple.ise myself with the thought.' of enjoying a comfortable house, a warm fire, and other outward com- forts ; but now these have less place in my heart, (through the grace of God,) and my eye is more to God for comfort. In this world I expect tribulation ; and it does not now, as formerly, appear strange to me. I do not in such seasons of difficulty flatter myself that it will be better hereafter: but rather think how much worse it might be; how much greater trials others of God's children have endured; and how much greater are yet perhaps reserved for me. Blessed be God, that he makes the thoughts of my journey's end, and of my dissolution, a great comfort to me, under my sharpest trials ; and scarce ever lets these tlionghts be attended with terror or melancholy; but they are attended freq -ently with great joy. "A'^T^ 23. Visited a sick man; discoursed and prayed with him. Then visited another house, where one was dead and laid out ; looked on the corpse, and longed that my time might come to depart, that I might be with Christ. Then went home to my lodgings, about one o'clock. Felt jioorly ; but was able to read most of the afternoon." During the next twelve days, he passed under many changes in the frames and exercises of his mind. He had MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^ZZ many seasons of the special influences of God's Spirit, animating, invigorating, and comforting him in the ways of God and the duties of religion ; but had some turns of great dejection and melancholy. He spent much of this time in hard labor, with others, to make for himself a little cottage or hut, to live in by himself through the winter. Yet he fre- quently preached to the Indians, and speaks of special as- sistance which he had formed from time to time, in address- ing himself to them ; and of his sometimes having considerable encouragement from the attention which they gave. But December 4, he was sunk into great discouragement, to see most of them going in company to an idolatrous feast and dance, after he had taken abundant pains to dissuade them from these things. " Dec. 6. Having now a happy opportunity of being retired in a lioiise of my own, which I have lately procured and moved into ; con- sidering that it is now a long time since I have been able, either on account of bodily weakness, or for want of retirement, or some other ilililicuUy to spend any time in secret fasting and prayer ; considering also the greatness of my work, the extreme difficulties that attend it, and that my poor Indians are now worshipping devils, notwithstanding all the pains I have taken with them, which almost overwhelms my spirit ; more- over, considering my extreme barrenness, spiritual deadness and dejec- tion, of late ; as also the jiower of some particular corruptions ; I set apart this day for secret prayer and fasting, to implore the blessing of (jod on myself, on my poor people, on my friends, and on the church o£ God. At first, T felt a great backwardness to the duties of the day, on account of the seeming impossibility of performing them ; but the Lord helped me to break through this difficulty. God was pleased by the use of means, to give me some clear conviction of my sinfulness, and a dis- covery of the plague of my own heart, more affecting than what I have of late had. And especially I saw my sinfulness in this, that when God had withdrawn himself, then, instead of living and dying in pursuit of him, I have been disposed to one of these two things : either, first, to yield an unbecoming respect to some earthly objects, as if happiness were to be derived from them ; or, secondly, to be secretly froward and im- patient, and unsuitably desirous of death, so that I have sometimes thought I could not bear to think that my life must be lengthened out. That which often drove me to this impatient desire of death, was a despair of doing any good in life ; and I chose death rather than a life spent for „4W,J iiIJ m-ii 134 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. I nothing. But now God made me sensible of my sin in these things, and enabled me to cry to him for forgiveness. Yet this was not all which I wanted, for my soul appeared exceedingly polluted, my heart seemed like a nest of vipers, or a cage of unclean and hateful birds ; and therefore I wanted to be purified 'by the blood of sprinkling, that cleanseth from all sin.' This, I hope, I was enabled to pray for in faith. I enjoyed much more intenseness, fervency, and spirituality, than I expected ; God was better to me than my fears. Towards night, I felt my soul rejoice, that God is unchangeably happy and glorious ; and that he will be glorified, whatever becomes of his creatures. I was enabled to persevere in prayer, until sometimes in the evening: at which time I saw so much need of divine help, in every respect, that I knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that I needed food. This evening, T was much assisted in medita- ting on Is. lii. 3. For thus saith the Lord, ye have sold yourselves for nought, etc. Blessed be the Lord for any help in the past day. "Dec. 7. Spent time in prayer, in the morning ; enjoyed some freedom and affections in the duty, and had longing desires of being ' made faith- ful unto death.' Spent a little time in writing on a divine subject; then visited the Indians, and preached to them ; but under inexpressible de- jection. I had no heart to speak to them, and could not do it, but as I forced myself; I knew they must hate to hear me, as having but just got home from their idolatrous feast and devil-worship. In the evening, had some freedom in prayer and meditation. " Dec. 8. Have been uncommonly free this day from dejection, and from that distressing apprehension, that I could do no ';ing ; was enabled to pray and study with some comfort ; and especially was assisted in writ- ing on a divine subject. In the evening, my soul rejoiced in God ; and I blessed his name for shining on my soul. O, the sweet and blessed change I then felt, when God ' brought me out of darkness into his marvellous light! ' " LoriFsday Dec. 9. Preached, both parts of the day, at a place called Greenwich, in New Jersey, about ten miles from my own house. In the first discourse I had scarce any warmth or affectionate longing for souls. In the intermediate season I got alone among the bushes, and cried to God for pardon of my deadness ; and was in anguish and bitterness, that I could not address souls with more compassion and tender affection. I judged and condemned myself for want of this divine temper: though I saw 1 could not get it as of myself, any more than I could make a world. In tne Ir.tter exercise, blessed be the Lord, I had some fervency, both in prayer and preaching; and especially in the application of my discourse, I was enabled to address precious souls with affection, concern, tender- ness, and importunity. The spirit of God, I think, was there ; as the ef- fects were apparent, tears running down many cheeks. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 135 ^^Dec. 10. Near noon, I preached again; God gave me some assist- ance, and enabled me to be in some degree faithful ; so that I had peace in my own soul, and a very comfortable composure, ' although Israel should not be gathered.' Came away from Greenwich and rode home; arrived just in the evening. liy the way my soul blessed God for his goodness ; and I rejoiced, that so much of my work was done, and I so much nearer my blessed reward. Blessed be God for grace to be faith- ful. '■'■Dec. II. Felt very poorly in body, being much tired and worn out the last night. Was assisted in some measure in writing on a divine sub- ject: but was so feeble and sore in my breast, that I had not much resolu- tion in my work. O, how I long for that world * where the weary are at rest ! ' and yet through the goodness of God I do not now feel impatient. ^' Dec. 12. Was again very weak ; but somewhat assisted in secret prayer, and enabled with pleasure and sweetness to cry, ' Come, Lord Jesus ! come, Lord Jesus ! come quickly.' My soul ' longed for God, for the living God.' O, how delightful it is to pray under such sweet in- fluences ! O, how much better is this, than one's necessary food ! I had at this time no disposition to eat, (though late in the morning;) for earthly food appeared wholly tasteless. O how much ' better is thy love than wine,' than the sweetest wine ! I visited and preached to the Indians, in the afternoon; but under much dejection. Found my Interpreter under some concern for his soul ; which was some comfort to me and yet filled me with new care. I longed greatly for his conversion ; lifted up my heart to God for it, while I was talking to him ; came home, and poured out my soul to God for him ; enjoyed some freedom in prayer, and was enabled, I think, to leave all with God. "/?<•<•. 13. Endeavored to spend the day in fasting and prayer, to im- plore the divine blessing, more especially on my poor people ; and in particular, I sought for converting grace for my Interpreter, and three or four more under some concern for their souls. I was much disordered ill the morning when I arose ; but having determined to spend the day in this manner, I attempted it. Some freedom I had in pleading for these poor concerned souls, several times ; and when interceding for them, I enjoyed greater freedom from wandering and distracting thoughts, than in any part of my supplications, liut, in the general, I was greatly ex- ercised with wanderings; so that in the evening it seemed as if I had need to pray for nothing so much as for the pardon of sins committed in the day past, and the vileness I then found in myself. The sins I had most sense of, were pride, and wandering thoughts, whereby I mocked God. The former of these cursed iniquities excited me to think of writing, preaching, or converting heathens, or performing some other great work, that my name might live when I should be dead. My soul was in anguish. i!::^ ism •Smm fJl c 136 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. C ■"SI*- and ready to drop into despair, to find so much of that cursed temper With this, and the other evil I labored under, viz. wandering thouglus, I was almost overwhelmed, and even ready to give over striving after a spirit of devotion; and oftentimes sunk into a considerable degree of despondency, and thought I was ' more brutish than any man.' Yet after all my sorrows, I trust, through grace, this day and the exercises of it have been for my good, and taught me more of my corruption, and weak- ness without Christ, than I knew before. '■^ Dec. 14. Near noon, went to the Indians; but knew not what to say to them, and was ashamed to look them in the face. I felt that I had no power to address their consciences, and therefore had no boldness to say anything. Was, much of the day, in a degree of despair about ever ' doing or seeing any good in the land of the living.' '''■ LorcVs day, Dec. 16. Was so overwhelmed with dejection, that I knew not how to live. I longed for death exceedingly ; my soul was sunk into deep waters, and the floods were ready to drown me. I was so much oppressed, that my soul was in a kind of horror ; could not keep my thoughts fixed in prayer, for the space of one minute, without fluttering and distraction; and was exceedingly ashamed, that I did not live to God. I had no distressing doubt about my own state ; but would have cheerfully ventured (as far as I could possibly know) into eternity. While I was going to preach to the Indians, my soul was in anguish ; I was so over- borne with discouragement, that I despaired of doing any good, and was driven to my wit's-end ; I knew nothing what to say, nor what course to take. But at last I insisted on the evidence we have of the truth of Christianity from the miracles of Christ; many of which I set before them ; and God helped me to make a close application to those who re- fused to believe the truth of what I taught them. Indeed, I was enabled to speak to the consciences of all, in some measure, and was somewhat encouraged, to find that Ciod enabled me to be faithful once more. Then came and preached to another company of them ; but was very weary and faint. In the evening, I was refreshed, and enabled to pray and praise God with composure and affection ; had some enlargement and courage with respect to my work ; was willing to live, and longed to do more for God than my weak state of body would admit of. * I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me ; ' and by his grace, I am willing to spend and be spent in his service, when I am not thus sunk in dejection, and a kind of despair. ^' Dec. 17. Was comfortable in mind, most of the day ; was enabled to pray with some freedom, cheerfulness, composure, and devotion; and had also some assistance in writing on a divine subject. — Dec. 18. Went to the Indians, and discoursed to them near an hour, without any power to come close to their hearts. But at last I felt some fervency, MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 137 md God helped me to speak with warmth. My interpreter also was amazingly assisted ; and I doubt nut but that ' the Spirit of God was upon them \ ' though I had no reason to think he had any true and saving grace, but was only under conviction of his lost state ; and presently upon this most of the grown persons were mucn affected, and the tears ran down their checks. One old man, I suppose a hundred years old, was so much affected, that he wept, and seemed convinced of the impor- tance of what I taught them. I staid with them a considerable time, exhorting and directing them : and came away, lifting up my heart to God in prayer and praise, and encouraged and exhorted my interpreter to 'strive to enter in at the strait gate.' Came home, and spent most of the evening in prayer and thanksgiving ; and found myself much enlarged and quickened. Was greatly concerned, that the Lord's work which seemed to he begun, might be carried on with power, to the conversion of poor souls, and the glory of divine grace. " Dec. 19. Spent a great part of the day in prayer to God, for the outpouring of his Spirit on my poor people ; as, also, to bless his name for awakening my interpreter and some others, and giving us some tokens of his presence yesterday. And blessed be God, I had much free- dom, five or six times in the day, in prayer and praise, and felt a weighty concern upon my spirit for the salvation of those precious souls, and the enlargement of the Redeemer's kingdom among them. My soul hoped in God for some success in my ministry; and blessed be his name for so much hoi)e. " Dec. 20. Was enabled to visit the throne of grace frequently this day ; and through divine goodness enjoyed much freedom and fervency, sundry times ; was much assisted in crying for mercy for my poor people, and felt cheerfulness and hope in my requests for them. I spent much of the day in writing ; but was enabled to intermix prayer with my studies. "/Av. 21. Was enabled again to pray with freedom, cheerfulness, and hope. God was pleased to make the duty comfortable and pleasant tome; so that I delighted to persevere, and repeatedly to engage in it. Towards noon, visited my people, and spent the whole time in the way to them in prayer, longing to see the power of God among them, as there appeared something of it the last Tuesday ; and I found it sweet to rest and hope in God. Preached to them twice, and at two distinct places ; had considerable freedom each time, and so had my interpreter. Several f'f them followed me from one place to the other ; and I thought there was some divine influence discernible amongst them. In the evening, was assisted in prayer again. IMessed be the Lord ! " Very much the same things are expressed concerning his inward frame, exercises, and assistances on Saturday, as on ? 138 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ■•235 Forks of Dblawarb, Dec. 24, 1744. the preceding days. He observes, that this was a comtn^rt- able week to him. Hut then concludes, *' Oh, that I had nio reason to conipiiiin of much barrenness ! Oh that there were no vain thoughts and evil affections lodged within me ! The Lord knows how I long for that world, where they rest day nor night saying, Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Al- mighty ! " On the following Sabbath he speaks of assistance and freedom in his public work, but as having less of the sen- sible presence of God, than frequently in the week past ; but yet says hir soul was kept from sinking in discouragement. On Monday, again, he seemed to enjoy very much the same liberty and fervency, through the day, which he enjoyed through the greater part of the preceding week. This day, he wrote the following letter to one of his intimate friends, a clergyman in New Jersey. "Rev. and Dear Brother : " I have little to say to you about spiritual joys, and those blessed refreshments and divine consolations, with which I have been much favored in times past ; but this I can tell you, that if I gain experience in no other point, yet I am sure I do in this, viz., that the present world lias nothing in it to satisfy an immortal soul ; and hence, that it is not to lie desired for itself, but only because God may be seen and served in it. I wish I could be more patient and willing to live in it for this end, than I can usually find myself to be. It is no virtue, I know, to desire death, only to be freed from the miseries of life ; but I want that divine hope which you observed, when I saw you last, was the very sinews of vita! religion. Earth can do us no good, and if there be no hope of our doing good on earth, how can we desire to live in it .-' Yet we ought to desire, or at least to be resigned to tarry in it ; because it is the will of our all- wise Sovereign, But, perhaps, these thoughts will appear melancholy and gloomy, and, consequently, will be very undesirable to you ; and, therefore, I forbear to add, I wish you may not read them in the same circumstances in which I write them. I have a little more to do and suffer in a dark, disconsolate world ; and then I hope to be as happy as you are. — I should ask you to pray for me, were I worthy your concern. May the Lord enable us both to ' endure hardness as good soldiers of Jesus Christ ; ' and may we * obtain mercy of God to be faithful to the death,' in the discharge of our respective trusts ! " I am your very unworthy brother, " And humble servant, " David Brainerd. MEMOIRS OF DRAINERD, <39 ^^Dec. 25. Enjoyed very little quiet sleep la^t night, by reason of I)ixlily weakness, and tlic closeness of my s' "dies yesterday ; ycl my heart was somewhat lively in prayer and prai>i . I was deli htcd willi the divine glory and happiness, and rejoiced tl.it (Jod was God, and that he was unchangeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Though God held my eyes waking, yet he helped me to improve my time i)rofital)ly .iiiilusl my pains and weakness, in continued meditations on Lnke xiii. 7. lichold, these three years 1 come seeking fruit, etc. My meditations were sweet ; and I wanted to set before sinners their sin and danger." He continued in a very low state, as to his bodily health, for some days, which seems to have been a great hindrance :o him in his religious exercises and pursuits. But yet he expresses some degree of divine assistance, from day to day, through the remaining part of this week. He preached several times this week to his Indians ; and there appeared still some concern amongst them for their souls. On Saturday, he rode to the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from his lodgings, in order to spend the Sabbath there. " Lord's day, Dec. 30. Discoursed, both parts of the day from Mark viii. 34. Whosoever will come after me, etc. God gave me very great freedom and clearness, and in the afternoon especially, considerable warmth and fervency. In the evening also, had very great clearness while conversing with friends on divine things. I do not remember ever to have had more clear apprehensions of religion in my life; but found a struggle ill the evening with spiritual pride." On Monday, he preached again in the same place with freedom and fervency ; and rode home to his lodgings, and arrived in the evening, under a considerable degree of bodily illness, which continued the next two days, so that he com- plains much of spiritual emptiness and barrenness on those days. "/rt«. 3, 1745. Being sensible of the great want of divine influence, ind the outpouring of God's Spirit, I spent this day in fasting and prayer, to seek so great a mercy for myself, my poor people in particular, and the church of God in general. In the morning, was very lifeless in prayer, and could get scarcely any sense of God. Near noon, enjoyed some sweet freedom to pray that the will of God might in every respect become mine; and I am persuaded, it was so at that time in some good degree. In the afternoon, I was exceedingly weak, and could not enjoy much fervency 140 MEMOIRS OF RRATNRRD, % C c Si '"■St in prayer ; but felt a great degree of dejection ; which, I believe, was very much owing to my bodily weakness and disorder. "Jan. 4. Kodc up to the Indians, near noon ; spent some lime niiilcr great disorder : my soul was sunk down into deep waters, and I was almost overwhelmed with melancholy. — Jan. 5. Was able to do some- thing at writing ; but was much disordered with jjain in my head. At night was distressed with a sense of my spiritual pollution, and ten thousand youthful, yea, and childish follies, that nobody but myself had any thought about; all which appeared to me now fresh, and in a lively view, as if committed yesterday, and made my soul ashamed before God, and caused me to hate myself. " Lord's day, Jan. 6. Was still distressed with vajiory disorders. Preached to my poor Indians ; but had little heart or life. Towards night, my soul was pressed under a sense of my unfaithfulness. O the jov and peace that arise from a sense of 'having obtained mercy of God to be faithful ! ' And O the misery and anguish that spring from an ap- prehension of the contrary ! "Jan. 9. In the morning, God was pleased to remove that gloom which has of late oppressed my mind, and gave me freedom and sweet- ness in prayer. I was encouraged, strengthened, and enabled to plead for grace for myself, and mercy for my poor Indians ; and was sweetly assisted in my intercessions with God for others. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever, amen, and amen. Those things that of late appeared most difficult and almost impossible, now appeared not only possible, but easy. My soul was much delighted to continue instant in pr.iycr, at this blessed season, so that I had no desire for my necessary food ; even dreaded leaving off praying at all, lest I should lose this spirituality, and this bles.sed thankfulness to God which I then felt. I felt now quite willing to live, and undergo all trials that might remain for me in a world of sorrow ; but still longed for heaven, that I ntii^ht glorify God in a perfect manner. O ' come, Lord Jesus, come (luickly.' Spent the day in reading a little; and in some diversions, which I was necessitated to take by reason of much weakness and disorder. In the evening, enjoyed some freedom and intenseness in prayer." The remaining days of the week, he was feeble in body ; but nevertheless continued in a comfortable frame of mind. On the Sabbath, this sweetness in spiritual alacrity began to abate ; but still he enjoyed some degree of comfort, and had assistance in preaching to the Indians. "/««. 14. Spent this day under a great degree of bodily weakness and disorder ; had very little freedom, either in my studies or devotions; MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 141 and in the evening, T was much dejected and melancholy. It pains and distresses me, that I live so much of my time for nothing. I long to do much i'l a little time ; and if it might be the Lord's will t»igh he was but poorly qualified for the buslne.s.s. Afterwards, I came and jireached to a few white people, from John vi. 67. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, etc,. Here the Lord seemed to unburden mc in some measure, especially towards the close of my discourse : I felt freedom to open the love of Chnst to his own dear di.sciples. When the rest of the world forsakes him, and are forsaken by him, that he calls them no more he then turns to his own and says, Will ye also go away ? I had a sense MEMOIRS OF BRAFNERD. 145 of the free grace of Christ to his own people, in such seasons of general apostacy, and when they themselves in some measure backslide with the world. O the free grace of Christ, that he seasonably reminds his people of their danger of backsliding, and invites them to persevere in their ad- hfrence to himself ! I saw that backsliding souls, who seemed to be about to go away with the world, might return and welcome, to him im- mediately; without anything to recommend them; notwithstanding all their former backslidings. Thus my discourse was suited to my own soul's case ; for, of late, I have found a great want of this sense and ap- prehension of divine grace; and have often been greatly distressed in my own soul, because I did not suitably apprehend this * fountain to purge away sin ;' and have been too much laboring for spiritual life, peace of conscience, and progressive holiness, in my own strength. Now God showed me, in some measure, the arm of all strength, and the fountain of all grace. In the evening, I felt solemn, devout and sweet ; resting on free grace for assistance, acceptance, and peace of conscience." During the n< xt few days, he had frequent refreshing influences of God's Spirit ; attended with complaints of dull- ness, and with longings after spiritual life and holy fervency. '■''March 6. Spent most of the day in preparing for a journey to New England. Spent some time in prayer, with special reference to my jour- ney. Was afraid I should forsake the Fountain of living waters, and at- tempt to derive satisfaction from broken cisterns, my dear friends and ac- quaintance, with whom I might meet in my journey. I looked to God to keep me from this vanity, as well as others. Towards night, and in the c-ening, was visited by some friends, some of whom, I trust, \>cre real Chri.stians; who discovered an affectionate regard to me, and seemed grieved that I was about to leave them ; especially as I did not expect to make any considerable stay among them, if I should live to return from New England.* O how kind has (jod been to me ! how has he raised up friends in every place where his providence has called me ! Friends arc a great comfort ; and it is God who gives them ; it is he who makes them friendly to me. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. The next day, he set out on his journey and it was about five weeks before he returned. The special design of this journey, he declares afterwards, in his diary for March 21, where, speaking of his conversing with a certain minister in New I'lngland, he says, *' Contrived with him how to raise ' ft sccnis hi; l\acl a ilesi};n, by wliat .iftcrw.irds appears, to remove and live among the Indians on th ■ Susquehannah river. 146 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^ ^ tu- ■'CCS some money among Christian friends, in order to support a colleague with me in the wilderness, (I having now spent two years in a very solitary manner,) that we might be to- gether ; as Christ sent out his disciples two and two ; and as this was the principal concern I had in view, in taking this journey, so I took pains in it, and hope God will succeed it, if for his glory." He first went into various parts of Isiew Jersey, and visited several ministers there ; then to New York ; and thence into New England, going to various parts of Connecticut. He then returned to New Jersey, and met a number ot ministers at Woodbridge, " who, " he says, " met there to consult about the affairs of Christ's kingdom, in some important articles." He seems, for the most part, to have been free from melancholy in this jcjrnc ' • and many times to have had extraordinary assistance '. ;, .^jiic ministrations, and his preaching sometimes attended with very hopeful ap- pearances of a good effect on the auditory. He also had many seasons of special comfort and spiritual refreshment, in conversation with ministers and other Christian friends, and also in meditation and prayer when alone. " April 13. Rode home to my own house at the Forks of Delaware; and was enabled to remember the goodness of the Lord, who has now preserved me while riding full six hundred miles in this journey ; has kept me that none of my bones have been broken. Blessed be the Lord who has preserved me in this tedious journey, and returned m'^ Ir safety to my own house. Verily it is God who has upheld me, a: ' r;;* irded my goings. " Lord's day, April 14, Was disordered in body with the la / ..;s of the late journey ; but was enabled however to preach to a consider Jjle as- sembly of white people, gathered from all parts round about, with some freedom, from Ezek. xxxiii 11. As I live, saith the Lord God, etc. Had much more assistance than I expected." This week he went a journey to Philadelphia, in order to engage the Governor to use his interest with the chief of the six nations, with whom he maintained a strict ^ endship, that he would give him leave to live at Susquehanui I and instruct the Indians who are within their territories.*" In his way to * The Indians at Susquehannah arc a mixed company of many nations, spe^iug varioui MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. H7 jnd from thence, he lodged with Mr. Beaty, a young Presby- terian minister. He speaks of seasons of sweet spiritual re- freshment which he enjoyed at his lodgings. ''April 20. Rode with Mr. Beaty to Abington, to attend Mr. Treat's administration of the sacrament, according to the method of the church of Scotland. When we arrived, we found Mr. Treat preaching; after- wards I preached a sermon from Matt, v. 3. Blessed are the poor in spirit, etc. God was pleased to give me great freedcjin and tenderness both in prayer and sermon ; the assembly was sweetly melted, and scores were in tears. It was, as I then hoped, and was afterwards abundantly satisfied by conversing with them, a ' word spoken in season to many weary souls.' I was extremely tired, and my spirits much exhausted, so that I could scarcely speak loud ; yet I could not help rejoicing in God. '^ Lord's day f April 21. In the morning, was calm and composed aud had some thirstings of soul after God in secret duties, and longing desires of his presence in the sanctuary and at his table; that his presence might be in the assembly ; and that his children might be entertained with a feast of fat things. In the forenoon, Mr. Treat preached. I felt some affection and tenderness during the administration of the ordinance. Mr. lieaty preached to the multitude abroad, who could not half have crowded into the meeting-house. In tlie season of the communion, I had comfort- able and sweet apprehensions of the blissful communion of God's people, when they shall meet at their Father's table in his kingdom, in a b.ate of perfection. In the afternoon, I preached abroad to the whole assembly, from Rev. xiv. 4. These are they that follow the I^amb, etc. God was pleased again to give me very great freedom and clearness, l)ut not so much warmth as before. However there was a most amazing at- tention in the whole assembly ; and, as I was informed afterwards, this was a sweet season to many. "" April 22. I enjoyed some sweetness in retirement, in the morning. At eleven o'clock, Mr. Beaty preached, with freedom and life. Then I preached from John vii. 37. In the last day, etc., and concluded the sol- emnity. Had some freedom; but not equal to what I enjoyed before ; yet in the prayer the Lord enabled me to cry, I hope with a child-like tem- per, with tenderness and brokenness of heart. Came home with Mr. Beaty to his lodgings; and spent the time, while riding, and afterwards, very agreeably on divine things. '' April 2\ Left Mr. Beaty's and returned home to the Forks of IJne;u,iKes, and few of them properly of tlie Six Nations. f?ut yet thr country Iiaving wnKriy been conqiiennl by the Six Nations, llicy claim the land ; and the SusqucliauuAh Indians are d kind of vassals to them. 148 MEMOIRS OF BPAINERD. I— '1 Delaware ; enjoyed some sweet meditations on the road ; and was enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer and praise." "April 26. Conversed with a Christian friend with some warmth- and felt a spirit of mortification to the world, in a very great degree. Afterwards, was enabled to pray fervently, and to rely on God swectlv for 'all things pertaining to life and godliness.' Just in the evening, was visited by a dear Christian friend, with whom I spent an hour or two in conversation, on the very soul of religion. There are many with whom I can talk about religion'; but alas ! I find few with whom I can talk religion itself ; but blessed be the Lord, there are some that love to feed on the kernel, rather than the shell." The next day, he went to the Irish settlement, before mentioned, about fifteen miles distant where he spent the Sabbath and preached with some considerable assistance, and on Monday returned in a very weak state to his own lodgings. " April 30. Was scarce able to walk about, and was obliged to betake myself to bed, much of the day ; and passed away the time in a very solitary manner ; being neither able to read, meditate, nor pray, and had none to converse with in that wilderness. O how heavily does time pass away, when I can do nothing to any good purpose; but seem obliged to trifle away precious time 1 But of late, I have seen it my duty to divert myself by all lawful means, that I may be fit, at least some small part of my time, to labor for God. And here is the difference between my present diversions, and those I once pursued, when in a natural state. Then I made a goil of diversions, delighted in them with a neglect of God, and drew my highest satisfaction from them. Now I use them as means to help me in living to God ; fixedly delighting in him, and not in them, drawing my highest satisfaction from him. Then they were mv all ; now they are only means leading to my all. And those things tli.it arc the greatest diversion, when pursued with this view, do not tend to hinder, but promote my spirituality ; and I see now, more than ever, that they are absolutely necessary. "May I. Was not able to sit up more than half the day ; and ytt 1 had such recruits of strength sometimes, that I was able to write a little on a divine subject. Was grieved that I could no more live to God. In the evening, hnd some sweetness and intenseness in secret prayer. "May 2. In the evening, being a little better in health, I w.ilked into the woods, and enjoyed a sweet season of meditation and prayer. My thoughts ran upon I's. xvii. 15. I .shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness. And it was indeed a precious text tome. I longed t« MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 149 preach to the whole world , and it seemed to me, they must Deeds all be melted in hearing such precious divine truths, as I then had a view and relish of. My thoughts were exceeding clear, and my soul was refreshed. Hlessed be the Lord, that in my late and present weakness, now for many days together, my mind is not gloomy, as at some other times. " May. 3. Felt a little vigor of body and mind, in the morning ; and had some freedom, strength and sweetness in prayer. Rode to, and spent some time with my Indians. Tn the evening, again retiring into the woods, I enjoyed some sweet meditations on Isa. liii. i. Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him, etc. "My/ 7- Spent the day mainly in making preparations for a journey into the wilderness. Was still weak, and concerned how I should per- form so difficult a journey. Spent some time in prayer for the divine blessing, direction, and protection in my intended journey ; but wanted bodily strength to spend the day in fasting and prayer." The next day, he set out on his journey to the Susque- hannah, with his interpreter. He endured great hardships and fatigues in his way thither through a hideous wilderness ; where, after having lodged one night in the open woods, he was overtaken with a northeasterly storm, in which he was almost ready to perish. Having no manner of shelter, and not being able to make a fire in so great a rain, he could have no comfort if he stopped ; therefore he determined to go forward in hopes of meeting with some shelter, without which he thought it impossible to live the night through ; but their horses — happening to eat poison, for the want of other food, at a place where they lodged the night before — were so sick, that they could neither ride nor lead them, but were obliged to drive them, and travel on foot : until, through the mercy of God. just at dusk, they came to a bark hut where they lodged that night. After he came to the Susquehannah, he travelled about a hundred miles on the river, and visited many towns and settlements of the Indians ; saw some of seven or eight tribes, and preached to different nations, by different interpreters. He was sometimes much discouraged, and sunk in his spirits, through th- opposition which appeared in the Indians to Christianity. At other times, he was en- couraged by the disposition which some of these people man- "S8 J ;i» If 150 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. % ma a J — •It-*:' ifestcd to hear, and willingness to be instructed. He here met with some who had formerly been his hearers at Kaunau- mcek, and had removed hither ; who saw and heard him again with great joy. He spent a fortnight among the Indians on this river, and passed through considerable labors and hard- ships, frequently lodging on the ground, and sometimes in the open air. At length he felt extremely ill, as he was riding in the wilderness, being seized with an ague, followed with a burning fever, and extreme pains in his head and bowels, attended with a great evacuation of blood ; so that he thought he must have perished in the wilderness. But at last coming to an Indian trader's hut, he got leave to stay there ; and though without physic or food proper for him, it pleased God, after about a week's distress, to relieve him so far that he was able to ride. He returned homewards from Juncauta, an island far down the river ; where was a considerable num- ber of Indians, who appeared more free from prejudices against Christianity, than most of the other Indians. He arrived at the Forks of Delaware May 30, after having rode in this journey about 340 miles. He came home in a very weak state, and under dejection of mind. However, on the Sabbath, after having preached to the Indians, he preached to the white people, with some success, from Is. liii. 10. 'Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him,' etc., some being awak- ened by his preaching. The next day, he was much exercised for want of spiritual life and fervency. "June 4. Towards evening, was in distress for God's presence, and a sense of divine things ; withdrew myself to the woods, and spent near an hour in prayer and meditation; and I think, the Lord had compassion on me, and gave nie some sense of divine things ; which was indeed refreshing and quickening to me. My soul enjoyed intenseness and freedom in prayer, so that it grieved me to leave the place. *^ Jtitte 5. Felt thirsting desires after God, in the morning. In the evening, enjoyed a precious season of retirement ; was favored with some clear and sweet meditations upon a sacred text ; divine things opened with clearness and certainty, and had a divine stamp, upon them. My soul was also enlarged and refreshed in prayer ; I delighted to continue in the duty ; and was sweetly assisted in praying for my fellow- Christians, MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. IS' and my dear brethren in the ministry. Blessed be the dear Lord fi)r such enjoyments. O how sweet and precious it is, to have a clear appre- hension and tender sense of tlic mystery of godliness, of true holiness, and of likeness to the best of beings ! O what a blessedness it is, to be as much like God, as it is possible for a creature to be like his great Creator I Lord give me more of thy likeness ; • I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with it.' ^^ June 6. Was engaged, a considerable part of the day, in meditation and study on divine subjects. Enjoyed some special freedom, clearness, and sweetness in meditation. O how refreshing it is, to be enabled to improve time well." The next day, he went a journey of near fifty miles, to Neshaminy, to assist at a sacramental occasion, to be attended at Mr. Beaty's meeting-house ; being invited thither by him and his people. *^Ju7te 8. Was exceedingly weak and fatigued with riding in the heat yesterday ; but being desired, I preached in the afternoon, to a crowded audience, from Is. xl. i. ' Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people, saith your God.' God was pleased to give me great freedom, in opening the sorrows of God's people, and in setting before them comforting considerations. And, blessed be the Lord, it was a sweet melting season in the assembly. *' Lord's day, June 9. Felt some longing desires of the presence of God to be with his people on the solemn occasion of the day. In the forenoon Mr. Beaty preached ; and there appeared some warmth in the assembly. Afterwards, I assisted in the administration of the Lord's supper ; and towards the close of it, I discoursed to the multitude extempore, with some reference to that sacred passage, Is. liii. 10. 'Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him.' Here God gave me great assistance in addressing sinners ; and the word was attended with amazing power ; many scores, if not hundreds, in that great assembly, consisting of three or f(iur thousand, were much affected; so that there was a ' very great mourning, like the mourning of Iladadrimmon.' In the evening, I could hardly look anybody in the face, because of the imperfections I saw in my per- formances in the day past. "June 10. Preached with a good degree of clearness and some sweet warmth, from Psal. xvii. 15. * I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.' And blessed be God, there was a great solemnity and attention in the assembly, and sweet refreshment among God's people; as was evident then, and afterwards, — June 11. Spent the day mainly in conversation with dear Christian friends; and enjoyed some sweet sense of divine things. O how desirable it is, to deep company with God'a If 152 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD, i dear children! These are the 'excellent ones of the earth, in whom,''[ can truly say, * is all my delight.' Owhat delight will it afford, to meet thcni all in a state of perfection ! Lord, prepare me for that state." The next day he left Mr. Beaty's and went to Maidenhead, in New Jersey ; and spent the next seven days in a comfort- able state of mind, visiting several ministers in those parts. ^'/utte i8. Set out from New IJrunswick with a design to visit some Indians at a place called Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, towards the sea.* In the afternoon^ came to a place called Cranberry, and meeting with a serious minister, Mr, Macknight, I lodged there with him. Had some enlargement and freedom in prayer with a number of people. * Rrainerd having when at Boston, written and left with a friend, a brief relation of facts touching his labors with the Indians, between November 5, 1744, and June 19, 1745, (with a view to connect his Narrative, addressed to Mr. Pemberton, and his Journal, in case they should ever be reprinted) concludes the same with this passage : " As my body was very feeble, so my mind was scarce ever so much damped and discouraged about the conversion of the Indians, as at this time. And in this state of body and mind I made my first visit to the Indians of New Jersey, where God was pleased to display I1 is power and grace in the remarkable manner that I have represented iu my printed JournaL" MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD IS3 CHAPTER VII. A wonderful Work of Grace in the Wilderness.— Publication of the First Part of liruiiierd's Journal. — Interesting Services. — Revival Scenes. — A Journey to the Forks of the Delaware. — A Strange Character. — Precious Ingatherings. [We are now come to that part of Brainerd's life, when he had the greatest success in his labors for the good of souls and in his particular business as a missionary to the Indians. Long had he agonized in prayer, and travailed in birth for their conversion. Often had he cherished the hope of witnessing that desirable event ; only to find that hope yield to fear, and end in disappointment. But after a patient continuance in prayer, in labor, and in suffering, as it were through a long night, at length he is permitted to behold the dawning of the day. " Weeping continues for a night ; but joy comes in the morning." He went forth weeping, bearing precious seed, and now he comes rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him. The desired event is brought to pass at last ; but at a time, in a place, and upon subjects, which scarcely ever entered into his heart. An account of this was originally published in his Journal, consisting of extracts from his Diary during one year of his residence at Crossweeksung. Those extracts are now incor- porated with the rest of his Diary for the same period in regu- lar chronological order. The following preface by the Correspondents introduced tile First Part of Brainerd's Journal to the notice of the pub- lic and is worthy of an insertion in these Memoirs. — [J. M. S,] "The design of this publication is to give God the glory of his dis- tinguishing grace, and gratify the pious curiosity of those who are wait- ing and praying for that blessed time, when the Son of God, in a laore extensive sense than has yet been accomplished, shall receive • the hea- then for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts o£ the earth for a pos- session.' i % J i '54 MEMOIRS OF nRAlNERD. i 'V3 " Whenever any of the guilty race of mankind are awakened to a just concern for their eternal interest, are humbled at the footstool of a sover- cign (Jod, and are persuaded and enabled to accept the offers of redeem- ing love, it must always be ...cknowledged a wonderful work of divine grace which demands our thankful praises, But doubtless it is a more affecting evidence of almighty power, a more illustrious display of sovereign mercy, when those are enlightened with the knowledge of salvation, who have for many ages dwelt in the grossest darkness and heathenism, and are brought to a cheerful subjection to the government of our divine Re- deemer, who from generation to generation had remained the voluntary slaves of 'the prince of darkness.' " This is that delightful scene v/hirl will present itself to the reader's view, while he attentively peruses the following pages. Nothing certainly can be more agreeable to a benevolent and religious mind, than to see those that were sunk in the most degenerate state of human nature, at once, not only renounce those barbarous customs they had been Inured to from their infancy, but surprisingly transformed into the character f real and devout Christians. This mighty change was brought about by the plain and faithful preaching of the gospel, attended with an uncommon effusion of the divine Spirit, under the ministry of the Reverend David Brainerd, a Missionary employed by the Honorable Society in Scodand, for propagating Christian Knowledge. And surely it will administer abundant matter of praise and thanksgiving to that honorable body, to find that their generous attempt to send the gospel among the Indian nations upon the borders of New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania, has met with such surprising success. *' It would perhaps have been more agreeable to the taste of politer readers, if the following Journal had been cast into a different method, and formed into one connected narrative. But the worthy author amidst his continued labors, had no time to spare for such an undertaking. Besides, the pious reader will take a peculiar pleasure to see this work described in its native simplicity, and the operations of the Spirit upon the minds of these poor benighted Pagans, laid down just in the method and order in which they happened. This, it must be confessed, will occasion frequent repetitions ; but these, as they tend to give a fuller view of this amazing dispensation of divine grace in its rise and progress, we trust, will be easily forgiven. " When we see such numbers of the most ignorant and barbarous of mankind, in the space of a few months, ' turned from darkness to light, and from the power of sin and Satan unto God,' it gives us encourage- ment to wait and pray for that blessed time, when our victorious Re- deemer shall, in a more signal manner than he has yet done, display the ' banner of his cross,' march on from ' conquering to conquer, till the king- MEAfOTRS OF HRAINRRD. '55 doms of this world arc become the kingdoms of our Lord and of his Christ.' Vea, we cannot but lift up our heads with joy, and hope that it may be the dawn of that bright and illustrious day, when the Sun of Righteous- ness shall • arise and shine from one end of the earth to the other ; ' when, to use the language of the inspired prophets, * the Gentiles shall come to his light, and kings to the brightness of his rising ;' inconse- quence of which, ' the wilderness and solitary places shall be glad, and the desert rejoice and blossom as the rose.' " It is doubtless the duty of all, in their different stations, and accord- ing to their respective capacities, to use their utmost endeavors to bring forward this promised, this desired day. There is a great want of school- masters among these christianized Indians, to instruct their youth in the English language, and the principles of the Christian faith — for this, as yet, there is no certain provision made ; if any are inclined to contribute to so good a design, we are persuaded they will do an acceptable service to the * kingdom of the Redeemer.' And we earnestly desire the most in- digent to join, at least, in their wishes and prayers, that this work may prosper more and more, till the ' whole earth is filled with the glory of the Lord.'" ^^ June 19. [At Crossweeksung,] I had spent most of my time, for more than a year past among the Indians at the Forks of Delaware in Pennsylvania. During that time I made two journeys to the Stisque- hannah to treat with the Indians on that river respecting Christianity ; and.not having had any considerable appearance of special success in either of those places, my spirits were depressed, and I was not a little discour- aged. Hearing that there was a number of Indians at a place called Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, nearly eighty miles southeast from the Forks of Delaware, I determined to make them a visit, and see what might be done towards christianizing them ; and accordingly arrived among them, June, 19, 1745. " I found very few persons at the place which I visited, and perceived that the Indians in these parts were very much scattered. There were not more than two or three families in a place ; and these small settle- ments, six, ten, fifteen, twenty and thirty miles, and some more from that place. However, I preached to those few I found ; who appeared well disposed, serious and attentive; and not inclined to cavil and object, as the Indians had done elsewhere. When I had concluded my discourse, I in- formed them, there being none but a few women and children, that I would willingly visit them again the next day. Whereupon they readily set out and travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some of their friends at that distance. These women, like the women of Samaria, seemed desirous that others should see the man, who had told them what they had done in their past lives, and the misery that attended Kit! 156 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. CX: 2>' Ok' "V3 their idolatrous w.iys. A* night was worn out, and scarcely able to walk, or sit up. Ol how tiresome is earth; how dull the body ! •'y««f 20. Visited and preached to the Indians again as I proposed. Numbers were gathered at the invitations of their friends, who had hcaril me the day before. These also appeared as attentive, orderly and well disposed as the others ; and none made any objections, as Indians in other places have usually done. Towards night preached to the Indians again, and had more hearers than before. In the evening enjoyed some peace and serenity of mind, and comfort and composure in prayer, alone; and was enabled to lift up my head with some degree of joy, under an apprehension that my redemption draws nigh. O, blessed be God, that there remains a rest to his poor weary people ! '■'^ June 21. Kode to Freehold to see Mr. William Tennent, and spent the day comfortably with him. My sinking spirits were a little raised and encouraged ; and I felt my soul breathing after God, in the midst of Christian conversation ; and in the evening was refreshed in secret prayer; saw myself a poor worthless creature, without wisdom to direct or strength to help myself. O blessed be God, who lays me under a happy, a blessed necessity of living upon himself! ^'■June 22. ut noon rode to the Indians again, and next night preached to th^ Jound my body much strengthened, and was enabled to .speak with abundant plainness and warmth. The number, which at first consisted of seven or eight persons, was now increased to nearly thirty. There was not only a solemn attention among them, but some considerable impression, it was apparent, was made upon their minds by divine truth. .Some began to feel their misery, and perishing state, and appeared concerned for a deliverance from it. The power of God evidently attended the word ; so that several persons were brought under great concern for their souls, and made to shed many tears, and to wish for Christ to save them. My soul was much refreshed and quickened in my work ; and I could ncjt but spend much time with them in order to open both their misery and their remedy. This was indeed a sweet afternoon to me. While riding, before I came to the Indians, my spirits were refreshed, and my soul enabled to cry to God almost incessantly, for many miles together. In the evening also, I found that the consola- tions of God were not small. I was then willing to live, and in some respects desirous of it, that I might do something for the dear kingdom of Christ; and yet death appeared pleasant; so that I was in some measure in a strait between two ; having a desire to depart. I am often weary of this world, and want to leave it on that account; but it is desir- able to be drawn, rather than driven out of it. *^ Lord's day ^ June 23. Preached to the Indians, and spent the day MEMOfRS OF BKAINERD. '57 with tlicm. Their numljcr still increased; and all with one consent seemed to rejoice in my coming among thcni. Not a word of opjiositiou was heard from any of them against Christianity, altliouglj in times past ihcy had been as much opposed to anything of that nature, as any In- dians whatsoever. Some of them not many months before, were enraged with my interpreter, because he attempted to teach them something of Christianity. ^^ June 24. Preached to the Indians at their desire, and upon their own motion. To see poor pagans desirous of hearing the gosi)cl of Christ, animated me to discourse to them ; although I was now very weakly, and my spirit much exhausted. They attended with tiie greatest seriousness and diligence ; and some concern for their souls' salvation was apparent among them, '■'June 27. Visited and preach'd to the Indians again. Their nun)l)cr now amounted to about forty persons. Their solemnity and attention still continued, and a considerable concern for their souls became very apparent among numbers of them. My soul rejoiced to find, that (lod enabled me to be faithful, and that he was now pleased to awaken these poor Indians by my means. O how heart-reviving and soul-refreshing it is to me, to see the fruit of my labors I ''June 28. The Indians being now gathered, a considerable number of them, from their several and distant habitations, requested me to preach twice a day to them ; being desirous to hear as much as they possibly could while I was with them. I cheerfully complied with their request, aiul could not but admire the goodness of Clod, who I was persuaded, had inclined them thus to inquire after the way of salvation. In the evening my soul was revived, and my heart lifted up to Clod in p''ayerfor my poor Indians, myself, and friends, and the dear church of God. C) how refresh- ing, how sweet was this ! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his goodness and tender mercy ! "Junez(). Preached twice to the Indians ; and could not but ."ondcr at their seriousness, and the strictness of their attention. Saw, as I thought, the hand of God very evidently, and in a manner somewhat remarkable, making provision for their subsistence together, in order to their being instructed in divine things. For this day, and the day before, with only walking a little way from the place of our daily meeting, they killed three deer, which were a seasonable supply for their wants, and without which they could not have subsisted together in order to attend the means of grace. Blessed be God who has inclined their hearts to hear. () how refreshing it is to me to see them attend, with such un- common diligence and affection, with tears in their eyes and concern in their hearts! In the evening, could not but lift up my heart to (}od in prayer, while riding to my lodging ; and, blessed be his name, had as- n 1(1. I" '58 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. ■':i : ij S:- Qt,; sistance and freedom. O how much better than life is the presence o{ God! " Lord 'j day, June 30. Preached twice this day also. Observed yet more concern and affection among the poor heathens than ever; so that they even constrained me to iarry yet longer with them, although my constitution was exceedingly worn out, and my health much impaired by my late fatigues and labors ; and especially by my late journey to Sus- quehannah in May last, in which I lodged on the ground for several weeks together. '''July I. Preached again twice to a very serious and attentive assembly of Indians; they having now learned to attend the worship of God with Christian decency in all respects. There were now between forty and fifty persons of them present, old and young. I spent a considerable time in discoursing with them in a more private way ; inquiring of them what they remembered of the great truth'-, which had been taught them from day to day ; and may justly say, it was amazing to see how they had received and retained the instructions given them, and what a measure of knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days. '^ Jidy 2. W.1S obliged to leave these Indians at Crossweeksung, thinking it my duty as soon as my health would admit, again to visit those at the P'orks of Delaware. When I came to take leave of them and t(i speak particularly to each of them, they all earnestly inquired when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being further instructed. Of their own accord they agreed, that when I should come again, they would all meet and live together, during my continuance ^ith tV.em ; and that they would use their utmost endeavors to gather all the other Indians in these parts who were yet more remote. When I parted from them, one told me, with many tears, ' She wished God would change her heart;' another, that ' she wanted to find Christ;' and an old man, who had been one of their chiefs, wept bitterly with concern for his soul. I then promised them to return as speedily as my health and business elsewhere would permit, and felt not a little concern at parting, Icct the good impressions, then apparent upon numbers of them, might decline and wear off, when the means came to cease. Yet I could not but hope, that he, who I trusted, had begun a good work among them, and who, I knew, did not stand in need of means to carry it on, would maintain and i)romote it. At the same time, I must confess, that I had often seen encouraging appearances among the Indians elsewhere, prove wholly abortive, and it appeared that the favor would be too great, if God should no v, after I had pa.- ed through so considerable a series of almost fruitless labors aiul fatigues, and after my rising hopes had been so often frustiated among these poor pagans, give me any special success in my labors with them, I could not bereve. and scarcely dared *o hope, that MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. »59 the event would be so happy ; and scarcely ever found myself more sus- pended between hope and (ear in any affair, or at any time, than in this. " This encouraging disposition, and readiness to receive instruction, now apparent among the Indians, seems to have been the happy effect of the conviction which one or two of them met with, sometime since at the Forks of Delaware ; who have since endeavored to show their friends the evil of idolatry. Though the other Indians seemed but little to regard, and rather to deride, them ; yet this, perhaps, has put them into a thinking posture of mind, or at least, given them some thoughts about Christianity, and excited in some of them a curiosity to hear ; and so made way for the present encouraging attention. An apprehension that this might be the case, here, has given me encouragement that God may, in such a manner, bless the means which I have used with the Indians in other places ; where, as yet, there is no appearance of it. If so, may his name have the glory of it : for I have learn»^, by experience, that he only can open the ear, engage the attention, and incline the hearts of poor benighted, prejudiced pagans to receive instruction. "Rode from the Indians to Brunswick, nearly forty miles and lodged there. Felt my heart drawn after God in prayer, almost all the forenoon, especially in riding. In the evening, I could not help crying to God for those poor Indians ; and, after I went to bed, my heart continued to go out to God for them till I dropped asleep. O, blessed be God, that I may pray!" He was now so fatigued by constant preaching to these Indians, yielding to their importunate desires, that he found it neces.sary to give himself some relaxation. He spent, therefore, about a week in New Jersey, after he left the In- dians ; visiting several ministers, and performing some ne- cessary business, before he went to the Forks of Delaware. Though he was weak in body, yet he seems to have been strong in spirit. On Friday, July 12, he arrived at his own house in the Forks of Delaware , continuing still free from melancholy ; from day to day enjoying freedom, assistance, and refreshment in the inner man. But on Wednesday, the next week, he seems to have had some melancholy thoughts about his doing so little Tor God, being so much hindered by weakness of body. '' Lord' a day, July \^ [At Forks of Delaware.] Discoursed to the Indians twice. Several of them appeared concerned, and were, I have reason to think, in some measure convinced by the Divine Spirit of their I lit If ^1 i6o MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. «J» sin and misery; so that they wept much the whole time of divine service. Afterwards, discoursed to a number of white people then present, "y«/j/ i8. Preached to my people, who attended diligently beyond what had been common among these Indians ; and some of them appeared concerned for their souls. Longed to spend the little inch of time I have in the world, more for God. Felt a spirit of seriousness, tenderness, sweetness and devotion ; and wished to spend the whole night in prayer and communion with God. "July ig. In the evening, walked abroad for prayer and meditation, and enjoyed composure and freedom in these sweet exercises, especially in meditation on Rev. iii, 12; ' Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar in the temple of my God.' etc. This was then a delightful theme to nic, and it refreshed my soul to dwell on it. O when shall I go no more out from the service and enjoyment of the dear Redeemer ! Lord hasten the blessed day ! '"'■ LonVs day, July 21. Preached to the Indians first ; then to a number of white people present ; and in the afternoon, to the Indians again. Divine truth seemed to make very considerable impressions upon several of them, and caused the tears to flow freely. Afterwards I baptized my interpreter, and his wife, who were the first whom I baptized among the Indians. They are both persons of some experimental knowledge in religion ; have both been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls ; have to appearance, been brought to a sense of their misery, and undoneness in themselves ; have both appeared to be comforted with divine consola- tions ; and it is apparent that both have passed a great and I cannot but hope, a saving, change. It may perhaps be satisfactory and agreeable, that I should give some brief relation of this man's exercises and expe- rience, since he has been with me ; especially since he is employed as my interi>reter to others. When I first employed him in this business, in the beginning of the summer of 1744, he was well fitted for his work, in re- gard to his acquaintance with the Indian and English languages, as well as with the manners of both nations ; and in regard to his desire that the Indians should conform to the manners and customs of the English, and especially to their manner of living. But he seemed to have little or no impression of religion upon his mind, and in that respect was very unfit for his work ; being incapable of understanding and communicating to others many things of importance, so that I labored under great disadvan- tages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an experimental, as well as more doctrinal actpiaintancc with divine truths ; and, at times, my spirits sunk, and wore much discouraged under this difliculty ; espe- cially when I observed that divine truths made little or no impressions upon his mind for many weeks together. lie indeed behaved soberly after MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, i6i I employed him ; although before, he had been a hard drinker ; and seemed honestly engaged, as far as he was capable, in the performance of his work. Especially he appeared very desirous that the Indians should renounce their heathenish notions and practices, and conform to the cus- toms of the Christian world. But still he seemed to have no concern about his own st'uI, until he had been with me a considerable time. The latter end of July, 1744, I preached to an assembly of white people, with more freedom and fervency than I could possibly address the Indians with, without their having first obtained a greater measure of doctrinal knowledge. At this tinie he was present, and was somewhat awakened to a concern for his soul ; so that the next day, he discoursed freely with me about his spiritual concerns, and gave me an opportunity to use further endeavors to fasten the impressi •; s of his perishing state upon his mind. I could plainly perceive, for some time after this, that he addressed the Indians with more concern and tervency than he had formerly done. " Hut these impressions seemed quickly to decline; and he remained, in a great measure, careless and secure, until some time late in the autumn of the year following ; when he fell into a weak and languishing state of body ; and continued much disordered for several weeks together. At this season, divine truth took hold of him, and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was brought under great concern for his soul ; and his exercises were not now transient and unsteady, but constant and abiding, so that his mind was burdened from day to day ; and it was now his great inquiry, ' What he should do lo be saved? This spiritual trouble pre- vailed, until his sleep, : . great measure, departed from him, and he had little rest day or night; " walked about utider great ; ire of mind, for he was still able to walk, and apinared like another uin to his neigh- bors, who could not but observe hii. behavior with wonder. After he had been for some time under this exercise, while he was striving to obtain mercy, he says there seemed to be an impassable niuui lin before him. He was pressing towards heaven, as he thouL,^ht ; but • iiis way was hedged up with thorns, so that he could not ^tjr an inch further.' He looked this way and that way, but could find no way at all. He thought if he could but make his way through these thorns and briers, and climb up the first steep pitch of the mountain, that thi i' cxc might be hope fi)i him; but no way or means could he find to .: .iplishthis. Here he labored for a time, but all in vain. He saw it was impossible, he says, for him ever to help himself through this insupportable difficulty. ' It signified just nothing at all for him to struggle and strive any more. ' Here, he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a gone case with him, as to his own power, and tiiat all his attempts were, and for fvcr would be, vain and fruitless. Yet he was more calm and composed under this view of things, than he had been while striving to help himself. t I l62 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. "While he was giving me this account of his exercises, I was not without fears, that what he related was but the working of his own im- agination, and not the effect of any divine illumination of mind. But, before I had time to discover my fears, he added, that at this time he felt himself in a miserable and perishing condition : that he saw plainly what he had been doing all his days ; and that he had never done one good thing, as he expresses it. He knew he was not guilty of some wicked actions, of which he knew some others guilty. He had not been accustomed to steal, quarrel, and murder ; the latter of which vices is common among the Indians. He likewise knev, that he had done many things that were right; he had been kind to his neighbors, etc. 'But still, his cry was, that he had never done one good thing.' ' I knew,' said he, ' that I had not been so bad as some others in some things ; and that I had done many things which folks call good ; but all this did me no good now. I saw that all was bad, and that I had never done one good thing ;' meaning that he had never done anything from a right principle, and with a right view, though he had done many things, that were materially good and right. ' And now, I thought,' said he, ' that I must sink down to hell ; that there was no hope for me, because I never could do anything that was good ;' and if God let me alone ever so long, and I should try ever so much, still I should do nothing but what is bad. This further account of his exercises satisfied me, that it was not the mere working of his imagination ; since he appeared so evidently to die to himself, and to be divorced from a dependence upon his own righteous- ness, and good deeds, to which mankind, in a fallen state, are so much attached ; and upon which they are so ready to hope for salvation. "There was one thing more in his view of things at this time, which was very remarkable. He not only saw, he says, what a miserable state he himself was in, but he likewise saw that the world around him, in general, were in the same perishing circumstances, notwithstanding the profession which many of them made of Christianity, and the hope which they entertained of obtaining everlasting happiness. This he saw clearly.as if he was now waked out of sleep, or had a cloud taken from his eyes. He saw that the l-^e which he had lived was the way to eternal death, that he was now on the brink of endless uilsciy ; and when he looked around he saw multitudes of others, who had lived the same life with himself, persons who had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed that they were safe enough, as he had formerly done. He was fully persuaded, by their conversation and behavior, that they had never felt their sin and misery, as he now felt his. "After he ha(" been for some time in this condition, sensible of '.he impossibility of helping himself by anything which he could do, or of being delivered ■)y any created arm; so that he had 'given up all for lost,' as to his own attempts, and was become more calm and composed ; MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 163 then, he says, it was borne in upon his mind, ^s if it had been audibly spoken to him, 'There is hope, there is hope' Whereupon his soul seemed to rest, and he in some measure satisfied, though he had no con- siderable joy. " He cannot here remember distinctly any views he had of Christ, or give any clear account of his soul's acceptance of him, which makes his experience appear the more doubtful, and renders it less satisfactory to himself and others than it might be, if he could remember distinctly the apprehensions and actings of his mind hl this season. — But these exer- cises of soul were attended and followed with a very great change in the man; so that it might justly be said he was become another man, if not a new man. His conversation and deportment were much altered ; and even the careless world could not but wonder what had befallen him, to make so great a change in his temper, discourse, and behavior. Especi- ally there was a surprising alteration in his public performances. lie now addressed the Indians with admirable fervency, and scarcely knew when to leave off. Sometimes, when I had concluded my discourse and was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to repeat and inculcate what had been spoken. "His change is abiding, and his life, so far as I know, unblemished to this day ; though it is now more than six months since he experienced this change ; in which space of time he has been as much exposed to strong drink as possible, in divers places where it has been moving as free as water ; and yet has never, that I know of, discovered any hanker- ing desire after it. He seems to have a very considerable experience of spiritual exercise, and discourses feelingly of the conflicts and consola- tions of a real Christian. His heart echoes 10 the soul-humbling doc- trines of grace, and he never appears better pleased than when he hears of the absolute sovereignity of God, and the salvation of sinners in a way of mere free grace. He has lately had also more satisfaction respecting his own state ; and has been much enlightened and assisted in his work ; so that-he has been a great comfort to me. "After a strict observation of his serious and savory conversation, his Christian temper, and unblemished behavior for such a length of time, as well as his experience, of which I have given an account; I think that I have reason to hope that he is 'created anew in Christ Jesus to good works.' His name is Moses Finda Fautaury. He is about fifty years of age, and is pretty well acquainted with the pagan notions and customs of his countrymen; and so is the better able now to expose them. He has, I am persuaded, already been, and I trust will yet be, a blessing to the "tlier Indians. ''July 23. Preached to the Indians, but had few hearers. Those who "f late are constantly at home, seem, of late, to be under some impressions "f a religious nature. ' ■B <^r 164 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, "July 26. Pleached to my people, and afterwards baptized my in- terpreter's children. In the evening, God was pleased to help nie in prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some time. Especially, my soul was drawn out for the encouragement of Christ's kingdom, and for the conversion of my poor people ; and my soul relied on God for the accomplishment of that great work. How sweet were the thoughts of death to me at this time ! How I longed to be with Christ, to be employed in the glorious work of angels, and with an angel's vigor and delight ! Yet how willing was I to stay awhile on earth, that I might do something, if the Lord pleased for his interest in the world. My soul, my very soul, longed for the ingathering of the poor heathen ; and I cried to God most willingly and heartily. I could not but cry. This was a sweet season ; for I had some lively taste of Heaven, and a temper of mind suited in some measure to the employments and entertainments of it. My soul was grieved to leave the place ; but my body was weak and worn out, and it was nearly nine o'clock. I longed that the remaining part of life might be filled up with more fervency and activity in the things of God, O the inward peace, composure, and godlike serenity of such a frame ! Heaven must differ from this only in degree, not in kind. Lord ! ever give me this bread of life. " LonPs day, July 28. Preached again, and found my people, at least some of them, more thoughtful than ever about their souls' concerns. I was told by some, that their seeing my interpreter, and others, baptized, made them more concerned than anything they had ever seen or heard before. There was, indeed, a considerable appearance of divine power among them, while the ordinance was administered. May that divine influence spread and increase more abundantly ! In the evening, my soul was melted, and my heart broken with a sense of past barrenness and deadness. O how I then longed to live to God, and bring forth much fruit to his glory ! — July 29. Was much exercised with a sense of vilcness, with guilt and shame, before God. Discoursed to a number of my people, and gave them some particular advice and direction ; being now about to leave them, for the present, in order to renew my visit to the Indians in New-Jersey. They were very attentive to my discourse, and earnestly desirous to know when I designed to return to them again." J^^^y 3 1) he set out on his return to Crossweeksung, and arrived there the next day. In his way thither, he had longing desires, that he might come to the Indians there in the fullness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ, attended with a sense of his own great weakness, dependence, and worthlessness. " August 2. [At Crossweeksung]. In the evening, I retired, and my MEMOIRS OF PRATNERD. i6S soul was drawn out in prayer to God ; especially for my poor people, to wliitm I had sent word that they might gather together, that I might preach to them the next day. 1 was much enlarged in praying fo. their saving conversion; and scarcely ever found my desires of anything of this nature so sensibly and clearly, to my own satisfaction, disinterested, and free from selfish views. It seemed to me I had no care, or hardly any desire, to be the instrument of so glorious a work as I wished and prayed for among the Indians. If the blessed work might be accomplished to the honor of God, and the enlargement of the dear Redeemer's kingdom ; this was all my desire and care ; and for this mercy I hoped, but with trembling; for I felt what Job expresses, chap, ix., i6, ' If I had called, and he had answered me, yet would I not believe that he had hearkened unto my voice.' My rising hopes, respecting the conversion of the In- dians, have been so often dashed, that my spirit is, as it were, broken, and my courage wasted, and I hardly dare hope. I visited the Indians in these parts in June last, and tarried with them a considerable time, preach- ing almost daily : at which season, God was pleased to pour upon them a spirit of awakening, and concern for their souls, and surprisingly to engage their attention to divine truths. I now found them serious, and a number of them under deep concern for an interest in Christ. Their convicuons of their sinful and perishing state were, in my absence from them, much promoted by the labors and endeavors of Rev. William Tennent; to whom I had advised them to apply for direction; and whose house they fre- quented much while 1 was gone. I preached to them this day with some view to Rev. xxii. 17. 'And whosoever will, let him take of the water of life freely; ' though I could not pretend to handle the subject methodi- cally among them. The Lord, I am persuaded, enabled me, in a manner somewhat uncommon, to set before them the Lord Jesus Christ as a kind and compassionate Saviour, inviting distressed and perishing sinners to accept everlasting mercy. A surprising concern soon became apparent among them. There were about twenty adult persons together; many of the Indians, at remote places, not having, as yet, had time to come since my return hither; and not above two that I could see with dry eyes. Some were much concerned, and discovered vehement longings of soul after Christ, to save them from the misery they felt and feared. "Lord's day, Aus^. ^. Being invited by a neighboring minister, to assist in the administration of the Lord's supper, I complied with his request, and took the Indians along with me ; not only those who were together the day before, but many more who were coming to hear me; so that there were nearly fifty in all, old and young. They attended the several discourses of the day; and, some of them, who could understand Knglish, were much affected; and all seemed to have their concern in some measure raised. A change in meir manners began to appear very visible. In the evening, when they came to sup together, they would not 1 66 MEMOIRS OF DKAINERD. -% il: talere le afternoon, 1 lelius, Acts .\. them, though rhey still at- ecmcd still to he came to e hearts of the ii'; cries amont; lulcd and that (lod designed to set up his kingdom here, where Satan now reigns in the most eminent manner; and founj uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of grace for the accomplish- ment of so great and glorious a work. '■''Sept. 17. Spent the forenoon in visiting and discoursing to the Indians. About noon, left Shaumoking (most of the Indians going out this day on their hunting design) and traveled down the river southwest- ward. — Sept. 19. Visited an Indian town, called Juncaiita, situate on an island in the Susquehannah. Was much discouraged with the temper and behavicjr of the Indians here; although they ajjpeared friendly when I was with them the last spring, and then gave me encouragement to come and see them again. But they now seemed resolved to retain their pagan notions, and persist in their idolatrous practices. "Sept. 20. Visited the Indians again at Juncauta island, and found them very busy in making prei)arations for a great sacrifice and dance. Had no opportunity to get them together, in order to discourse witlithcin about Christianity, by reason of their being so much engaged about their sacrifice. My spirits were much sunk with a prospect so very discourag- ing ; and cs])ccially seeing I had now no interpreter but a pagan, who was as much .atachcd to idolatry as any of them ; my own interpreter having left me the day before, being obliged to attend upon some important business elsewhere, and knowing that he could neither speak nor understand the language of these Indians; so that I was under the greatest disadvantages imaginable. However, I attempted to discourse privately with some of them, but without any appearance of success ; notwithstanding I still tar- ried with them. " In the evening they met together, nearly a hundred of them, and danced around ;t large fire, having prepared ten fat deer for the sacrifice. The fat of the inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dancing, and sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious height ; at the same time yell- ing and shouting in such a manner, that they might easily have been heard two miles or more. They continued their sacred dance nearly all night, after which they ate the flesh of the sacrifice, and so retired each one to his own lodging. I enjoyed little satisfaction ; being entirely alone on the island as to any Christian company, and in the midst of this idola- trous revel ; and having walked to and fro till body and mind were pained and much oppressed, I at length crept into a little crib made for corn, and there slejJt on the poles. "Lord's day, Sept. 21. Spent the day with the Indians on the island. As soon as they were well up in the morning, I attempted to instruct them, and labored for that purpose to get them together ; but soon found they MEMOIRS OF BRAIIVERD, 183 had something else to do, for near noon they gathered together all their powovvs, or conjurers, and set alxjut half a dozen of them playing their juggling tricks, and acting their frantic distracted |)()sturcs, in order to rind oiil why they were then so sickly upon the island, numbers of them being at that time disordered with a fever and bloody tlux. In this exer- cise they were engaged for several hours, making all the wild, ridiculous and distracted motions imaginable; sometimes singing, sometimes howl- ing, sometimes extending their hands to the utmost stretch, and spreading all their fingers, — they seemed to push with them as it' they designed to push sdiuething away, or at least keep it off at arm's-end ; sometimes ■troking their faces with their hands, then spirting water as fine as mist ; vonietimes sitting flat on the earth, then bowing down their faces to the ground; then wringing their sides as if in pain and anguish, twisting their uces, turning up their eyes, grunting, puffing, etc. '■ Their monstrous actions tended to excite ideas of horror, and seemed to have something in them, as I thought, peculiarly suited to raise the devil, if he could be raised by anything odd, ridiculous, and frightful. Some of them, I could observe, were much more fervent and devout in the business than others, and seemed to chant, peep, and mut- ter with a great degree of warmth and vigor, as if determined to awaken and engage the powers below. I sat at a small distance, not more than thirty feet from them, though undiscovered, with my bible in my hand, resolving, if possible, to spoil their sport, and i)revcnt their receiving any answers from the infernal world, and there viewed the whole scene. They continued their hideous charms and incantations for more than three iiours, until they had all wearied themselves out ; although they had in that space of time taken several intervals of rest, and at length broke up i apprehended, without receiving any answer at all. ".\fter they had done powwawing, I attempted to discourse with them about Christianity; but they soon scattered, and gave me no opportunity for anything of that nature. A view of these things, while I was entirely alone in the wilderness, destitute of the society of any one who so much as 'named the name of Christ,' greatly sunk my spirits, and gave me the most gloomy turn of mind imaginable, almost stripped me of all resolu- tion and hope respecting further attempts for propagating the gospel, and ci nverting the pagans, and rendered this the most burdensome and disa- greeable Sabbath which I ever saw. But nothing, I can truly say, sunk and distressed me like the loss of my hope respecting their conversion. This concern appeared so great, and seemed to be so much my own, that I seemed to have nothing to do on earth, if this failed. A prospect of the greatest concern in the saving conversion of souls under gospel-light, would have done little or nothing towards compensating for the loss of my hope in this respect ; and my spirits now were so damped and depressed that I had no heart nor power to make any further attempts among them 1!^. 184 MEMOIRS OF UK At NERD, i lite: V3 fur that purpose, and could not possibly recover my hope, rcsolutirm, ami couraf^c, by the utmost of my endeavors. " Many of the Indians of this island understand the Ki.^lish langii.igc considerably well ; having formerly lived in some part of Maryland, among or near the while jieople ; but are very drunken, vicious, and pro- fane, although not so savage as those who have less accpiaintanic with the English. Their customs, in various respects, differ from those of the other Indians upon the river. They do not bury their dead in a commun form, but let their flesh consume above ground, in close cribs made for that purpose. At the end of a year, or sometimes a lonj.;er space of time they take liie bones when the flesh is all consunied, and wash and scrape them, and afterwards bury them with some ceremony. Their method of charming or conjuring over the sick, seems somewhat different from that of other Indians, though in substrncc the same. The whole of it among these and others, perhaps, is an 'ntimation of what seems, by Naanian's expression, 2 Kings, v. 11. ^'. have been the custom of the ancient heathen. It seems chiefly to consist in their 'striking their hands over the dis- eased,' repeatedly stroking them, ' and calling upon their gods ;' except the spirting of water like a mist, and some other frantic ceremonies common to the other conjurations which I have already mentioned. " When I was in this region in May last, I had an opportunity of learning many of the notions and customs of the Indians, as well as ob- serving many of their practices. I then traveled more than a hundred and thirty miles upon the river, above the English settlements : and, in that journey, met with individuals of seven or eight distinct tribes, speak- ing as many different languages. But of all the sights I ever saw among them, or indeed anywhere else, none appeared so frightful, or so near akin to what is usually imagined of infernal powers, none ever excited such images of terror in my mind, as the appearance of one who was a devout and zealous reformer, or rather, restorer of what he supposed was the ancient religion of the Indians. "He made his appearance in his pontifical garb, which was a coat of boar skins, dressed with the hair on, and hanging down to his toes ; a pair of bear- skin stockings; and a great wooden face painted, the one half blacK, the other half tawny, about the color of an Indian's skin, with an extravagant mouth, cut very much awry ; the face fastened to a bearskin cap, which was drawn over his head. He advanced towards me with the instrument in his hand, which he used for music in hi.s idolatrous worship ; which was a dry tortoise-shell with some corn in it, and the neck of it drawn on to a piece of wood, which made a very convenient handle. As he came forward, he beat his tune with the rattle, and danced with all his might, but did not suffer any part of his body, not so much as his fingers to be seen. No one would have imagined from his oppcarance or actions, that he could have been a human creature, if they had not had some intimation of it MEMOIRS OF liRAlNEKI). \t% otherwise. When he came near mc, I could not but shrink away from hill) altliiMigli il was then noonday, and I knew who it was; liis a|i|>L-ai- aiiLc and gestures were so prodigiously friglitful. . He had a house (on- sccratcd to religious uses, with divers images cut upon the several parts of it. I went in, and found the ground beat almost as hard as a rock, with their freciucnt dancing upon it. " I discoursed with him about Christianity. Some of my discourse he seemed to like, but some of it he disliked extremely. He told me that (iud had taught him his religion, and that he never would turn from it ; but wanted to find some who would join heartily with him in it ; for the Indians, he said, were grown very degenerate and corrupt. He had thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and traveling abroad, in order to find some who would join with him ; for he believed that God had some good people somewhere, who felt as he did. He had not al- ways, he said, felt as he now did ; but had formerly been like the rest of the Indians, until about four or five years before that time. Then, he said, his heart was very much distressed, so that he could not live amonjf the Indians, but got away into the woods, and lived alone for some months. At length, he says, God comforted his heart, and showed him what he should do ; and since that time he had known God, and tried to serve him ; and loved all men, be they who they would, so as he never did before. " He treated me with uncommon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty in it. I was told by the Indians, that he opposed their drinking strong liquor with all his power ; and that, if at any time he could not dis- suade them from it by all he could say, he would leave them, and go crying into the woods. It was manifest that he had a set of religious notions which he had examined for himself, and not taken for granted, upon bare tradition; and he relished or disrelished what ever was spoken of a religious nature, as it either agreed or disagreed with his standard. While I was discoursing, he would sometimes say 'Now that I like ; so God has taught mc ;' etc., and some of his senti- ments seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied the existence of a devil, and declared there was no such creature known among the Indians of old times, whose religion he supposed he was attempting to revive. He likewise told me, that departed souls all went southward; and that the difference between the good and the bad, was this ; that the former were admitted into a beautiful town with spiritual walls ; and that the latter, would for ever hover around these walls, in vain attempts to get in. He seemed to be sincere, honest, and conscientious in his own way, and ac- cording to his own religious notions; which was more than I ever saw in any other pagan. I perceived that he was looked upon and do ided among most of the Indians, as a precise zealot, who made a needless noise about religious matters ; but I must say that there was something in his temper ind disposition, which looked more like true religion, than anything I ever observed amongst other heathens. i86 MEMOIRS OF BRAIXERD. 13. " But alas ! how dcplorrble is the state of the Indians upon this river! The brief representation which I have here given of their notions and manners, is sufficient to show that they are ' led captive by Satan at his will,' in the most eminent manner; and meihinks might likewise be suffi. cient to excite the compassion, and engage the prayers, of pious souls for these their fellow men, who sit ' in the region of the shadow of death.' ** Sept. 22. Made some further attempts to instruct and Christianize the Indians on this Island, but all to no purpose. They live so near the white people that they are always in the way of strong liquor, as well as of the ill examples of nominal Christians; which renders it so unspeakably difficult to treat with them about Christianity." Brainerd left these Indians on the 23d of September, to return to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body and under great dejection of mmd, which continued the first two days of his journey. " Sept. 25. Rode still homeward. In the forenoon, enjoyed freedom and intenscness of mind in meditation on Job xlii, 5, 6. 'I have heard of thee by the hearing of the car, but now mine eye seeth thee ; wherefure I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.' The Lord gave me clearness to penetrate into the sweet truths contained in that text. Itwasacon\- fortable and sweet season tome." '^ Sept. 26. Was still much disord well ,\> of en- joying him in a world ')f glory. 0,ble-sed be God, t-he lining God, forever." He conlinued in this comfottablc sweet trame of mind the next two days on the following he went to his own house in the Porks of Delaware, and continued still in the same frame. The next day, he visited the Indians, ^" Oct. I. [At Forks of Delaware,] Uiscoursed to the Indians here, and spent some time in private conference with them about their soul:*' concerns, and afterwards invited them to accompany, or if not, to follow ine to Crossvveeksuni^ Sus soon as they could conveniently ; which in- vitation nu iibers of lliem cheerfully accepted." Wednesday he spent principally in writing the meditation he had in his late journey to the Susquehannah. On Thurs- day he left the P'orks of Delaware, reached Crossweeksung Oct. 5 ; and continued from day to day in a comfort- able .state of mind. "0<7. 5. [ At Crossweeksung,] Preached to my people from John xiv, 1-6. The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly. Numbers were affected with divine truths, and it was a comfort to some in par- ticular. O what a difference is there between these, and the Indians with whom I have lately treated upon the Susquehannah ! To be with tho.su seemtd to be like being banished from (lud and all his people; to be with these, like being admitted into his family, and to the enjoyment of liis divine presence ! How great is the change lately made upon numbers )f those Indians, who, not many months ago, were as thoughtless and averse to (Christianity as those upon the Susquehannah; and how astonish- ing is that grace, which has made this change ! LonVs Jay, Oct. 6. Preached in the forenoon from John x. 7-1'. There was a considerable melting among my people ; the dear young ('hristians were refreshed, comforted and strengthened ; and one or two persons newly awakened. — In the afternoon, I discoursed on the story of the jailer. Acts xvi, and in the evening, expoimded Acts xx, 1-12. There was at this time a very agreeable melting spread throughout the whole assembly. I think I scarce ever saw a more desirable affection in any number of people in my bfe. There was scarcely a dry eye to be seen among them ; and yef: nothing boisterous or unseemly, nothing that tended to disturb the [iiiblic worship : biu rather to encourage and excite a Christian ardor and spirit of devotion. — Those, who I have reason to hope were .seriously renewed, were first affected, and seemed to rejoice much, ')iii with brokenness of &pir;t and godly fear. Their exercises were much i88 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. Oct the same with those mentioned in my journal of Aug. 26, evidently ap- pcaring to be the genuine effects of a s))irit of adoption, " After public service was over, I withdrew, being much tired with the labors of the day ; and the Indians continued praying among them- selves for nearly two hours together ; which continued exercises appeared to be attended with a blessed quickening influence from on high. I coukl not but earnestly wish that numbers of God's people had been present at this season to see and hear these things which I am sure must refresh the heart of every true lover of Zion's interest. To see those, who were very lately savage I'agans and idolaters, having no hope, and without (lod in the world, now filled with a sense of divine love and grace, and worship- ping the Father in spirit and in truth, as numbers have appeared to do, was not a little affecting ; and especially to see them appear so tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent, and devout in the divine service. " Or/. 7. IJcing called by the church and people of East-Hampton, on Long Island, as a member of a council to assist and advise in affairs of difficulty in that churcii, I set out on my journey this morning before it was well light, anti traveled to Elizabcthtown, and there lodged. Enjoyed some comfort on the ro.id in conversation with Mr. William Tennent, who was sent for on the same business." Brainerd prosecuted his journey with the other minis ters who were sent for, and did not return till Oct. 24. While he was at East-Harnpton, the importance of the business, on which the cour.cil were convened, lay with such weight on his mind, and he was so concerned for the interests of reli- gion in that place, that he slept but little for several nights successively. In his way to and from East-Hampton, he had several seasons of sweet refreshment ; wherein his soul was enlarged and comforted with divine consolations in se- cret retirement; and he had special assistance in public ministerial pertormances in the house of God ; and yet at the same time a sense of extreme vileness and unprofitableness. From time to time he speaks of soul refreshments and com- fort in conversation with the ministers who traveled with him, and seems to have little or nothing of melancholy until he came to the west end of Long-Island in his return. Af- ter that he was oppressed with dejection and gloominess oi mind for several days together. '* Oct. 24. [At Crossvvceksung.l Discoursed from John iv. 13, M nmm MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 189 There was a great attention, a desirable affection, and an unaffected melting in the assembly. It is surprising to see how eager they are to hear the word of God. I have oftentimes thought that they would checr- fullv and diligently attend divine worship twenty-four hours together, if they had an opportunity so to do. " Oct, 25. Discoursed to my people respecting the Resurrection, from Luke XX. 27-36. When I came to mention the blessedness which the godly shall enjoy at that season ; their final freedom from death, sin and sorrow ; their equality to the angels in their nearness to an enjoyment of Christ, some imperfect degree of which they arc favored with in the present life, from whenco springs their sweetest comfort ; and their being the children of God, openly acknowledged by him as such ; — I say, when I mentioned these thirgs, numbers of them were much affected and melted with a view of this blessed state. " Oc(. 26. Being called to assist in the administration of the Lord's supper in a neighboring congregation, I invited my people to go with me. They in general embraced the opportunity cheerfully ; and attended the several discourses of this solemnity with diligence and affection, most of them now understanding something of the English language. " Lord's Day, Oct. 27. While I was preaching to a vast assembly of people abroad, who appeared generally easy and secure enough, there was one Indian woman, a stranger, wiio never heard me preach before, nor ever regarded anything about religion, being now persuaded by some of her friends to come to meeting, though much against her will, was seized with distressing concern for her soul and soon after expressed a great desire of going home, more than forty miles distant, to call her husband, that he also might be awakened to a concern for his soul. Some others of the Indians appeared to be affected with divine truths this day. The pious people of the English, numl^ers of whom I had opportunity to converse with, seemed refreshed with seeing the Indians worship God in that devout and solemn manner with the assembly of his i)cople ; and with those mentioned in Acts xi. iS, they could not but glorify God, say- ing, 'Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.' " Preached again in the afternoon, to a great assembly ; at which time some of my people appeared affected ; and, when public worship was over, were inquisitive whether there would not be another scrnicm in the evening, or before the sacramental solemnity was concluded; being still desirous to hear God's word. "Or/. 28. Discoursed from Matt. xxii. 1-13. I was enabled to open liic scriptures, and adapt my discourse and expression to the capacities "f niy peojijc, I know not huv, in a plain, easy, and familiar m;imur, bc- viind all that I could have done by the utmost study: and this without iiiy special difficulty ; yea with as much freedom as if I had been address- 190 AfF.MCIRL OF BRAINERD. ing a common jW«4icnce, j#<)v? kad been instructed in the doctrines of Christianity all their 4ays. 'fi^ word of ^^ )d, at this time, seemed to fall »pon the assembly with a diviiu j/vKrcr and inflncnce, especially towards the close of my discourse : th< f'- was both a sweet melting and bitter mourning in the audience. The dew Chrintians were refrt-shed and com- forted, convictions revived in others, and several persons newly awak- ened, who had never been with us before. So much of the divine presence appeared in the assembly, that it seemed ' this was no other than the house of God and the gate of heaven.' y\ll, who had any savor and relish of divine things, were even constrained by the sweetness of that season to say, ' Lord, it is good for us to be here ; ' If ever there was among my people an appearance of the New Jerusalem, ' as a brick itrlorned for her husband,' there was much of it at this time ; and so agrie«able was the entertainment, where such tokens of the divine presence were, that I could scarcely be willing in the evening to leave the place and rei>a»r to my lodgings. I was refreshed with a view of the continu- a^Kc of thi*-" blessed work of grace among them, and with its influence Mpon strangers among the Indians, who had of late, from time to time, ^/yii* rcfr^rshing; my thoughts wcie raised to a blessed eternity ; my ao^] wm Melted with desires of perfect holiness, and of perfectly glorify- iM»ij^/od. '* 0(t, 7^. Afymt r 111, roide and viewed the Indian lands at Cran- berry; was much d'cjected, A-ad greatly per])l(vcd in mind ; kiu v\ not how to «e€ an body again; mr soul was sunk within mc. Oh ihiu these tr1«tl« might make me more humble and holy. Oh that God would keep nw from giving way to sinful dejection, which may hinder my usefulness. — ()(.^- 30. My soul was ref'-eshed with a view of the continuance of God's M^<*«ed work among t; . Indians. Oct. 31. Spent most of the day in writ- JA|^^»wtfl|/^)yed not much spiritu*! comfort ; but was not so much sunk with m^»nch^A^/ as at other thnt-s. ** Aff^- t. Discoursed from Luke xxiv, briefly explaining the whole ' I "rr, an/f insisting especially upon some parti» iilar passages. The dis- . was attt'udt'd with some affectionate conciiu upon some o*^ the hearers, though noiciiual to what has often appeared among lhcM>. — Nov. 2. Spent the day with the Indians ; wrote some thin.L;s of importance; and longed to do more for God than I did, or could do, in this present feeble and imperfect state. lifrd's '\iy, JV(n<. 3. Preached to my people from Luke xvl. I?. ' Artd it is easier for heaven and earth,' etc., more especially for the sake of several lately brought under deep concern for their souls.. There was 80fm; apparent concern and affection in the assembly ; tiiough far less than 1ms been usual of late. Afterwards I baptized fourteen persons ; MEMOIRS OF BRAriVERD. 191 six adults, and right children. One of these was nearly fourscore years of age ; and, I have reason to hope that God has brought her savingly home to himself. Two of the others were men of fifty years old, who had been singular and remarkable among the Indians for their wicked- ness ; one of them had been a murderer, and both notorious drunkards, as well as excessively quarrelsome ; but new I cannot but hopj, that both of them have become subjects of God's i-pccidi grace, especially the worst of them.* I deferred their baptism for many weeks after they had given evidence of having passed a great change, that I might have more opportunities to observe the fruits of the impressions which they had been under, and apprehended the way was now clear. There was not one of the adults whom I baptized, who had not given me comfortable grounds to hope that God had wrought a work of special grace in their hearts. " Nffv. 4. Discoursed from John xi, briefly explaining most of the chapter. Divine truths made deep impressions upon many in the as- sembly- Numbers were affected with a view of the powei of Christ iiianife:.tcd in his raising the dead ; and especially when this instance of his power was improved to show his ability to raise dead souls, such as many of them then felt themselves to be, to a spiritual life ; as, also, to raise the dead at the last day, and dispense to them true rewards and ! .i<»hmfnts. '"There were numbers hose who had come here lately from remote places, who were now broiign;! under deep and pressing concern for their sools. One in particular, who, not long since, came half drunk, and railed Oil us, and attempted to di .turb us while engaged in divine worship, was "ow so concerned and distressed for her soul, that she seemed unable to ^i.t any ease without an interest in Christ. There were many tears and sobs and groans in the assembly in general; some weeping f"» themselves, others for their friends. Although persons are, doubtle-^, much m »x easily affected now than they were in the beginning of this religious con- tern, when tears and cries for their smils were things unheard of among them, \<.t I must say, that their affection in general appeared genuine and unfeigned ; and, especially, this appeared very conspicuous in those newly awakened. So that true and genuine convictions of sin seem still to be begun and promoted in many instances. Kai)tized a child this day, and perceived numbers of the baptized persons effected with the adminis- tration of this nidinanee, as being thereby reminded of their own solemn ciigagenienlK. t have now baptized in all 47 Indians ; 23 adults, and 24 children; 35 of them belonged to this region, and the rest to the Forks of Delaware. Through rich grace, none of them, as yet, have been it ft to (lisgrare their profession of Christianity by any scandalc is or unlv. com- ing behavior." * rhe man mentioned in my journal of A just 10, as being then awakened. ig: MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. CHAPTER VIII. ITS 5: Oct Rrainerd's Remarks on the Extraordinary Work of God's Grace amonR these Indiani. "I might now properly make many remarks on a work of grace, so very remarkable as this has been in various respects ; but shall confine myself to a few general hints only. '* I. It is remarkable, that God began this work among the Indians at a time when I had the least hope, and, to my apprehension, the least ra- tional prospect of seeing a work of grace propagated among them ; my bodily strength being then much wasted by a late tedious journey to the Susquehannah, where I was necessarily exposed to hardships and fatigues among the Indians ; my mind being, also, exceedingly depressed with a view of the unsuccessfulness of my labors. I had little reason so mucli as to hope, that God had made me instrumental in the saving conversion of any of the Indians, except my interpreter and his wife. Hence I was ready to look upon myself as a burden to the honorable society which employed and supported me in this business, and began to entertain serious thoughts of giving up my mission ; and almost resolved, I would do so at the conclusion of the present year, if I had then no better prospect of special success in my work than I had hitherto had. I cannot say that I entertained these thoughts because I was weary of the labors and fatigues which necessarily attended my present business, or because I had light and freedom in my own mind to turn any other way ; but purely through dejection of spirit, pressing discouragement, and an apprehension of its being unjust to spend money consecrated to religious uses, only to civilize the Indians, and bring them to an external profession of Christianity. This was ail which I could then see any prospect of effecting, while God seemed, as I thought, evidently to frown upon the design of their saving conversion, by withholdin'jf the convincing and renewing influences of his blessed Spirit from attending the means which I had hitherto used with them for that end. " In this frame of mind, 1 first visited these Indians at Crossweeksung; apprehending that it was my indispensable duty, seeing I had heard there was a number in tlicsi.' parts, to make some attempts for their conversion to God, though I cannot sav I had any hope of sticcess, my spirits being now so extremely sunk. I do not know that my hopes, respecting the conversion of the Indians, were ever reduced to so low an ebb, since I MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 193 had any special concern for them, as at this time. Yet this was the very season in which God saw fit to begin this glorious work ! Thus he ' or- dained strength out of weakness,' by making bare his almighty arm, at a time when all hopes and human probabilities most evidently appeared to fail. Whence I learn, that it is good to follow the path of duty, though in the midBt of darkness and discouragement, "2. It is remarkable how God providentially, and in a manner almost unaccountable, called these Indians together, to be instructed in the great things that concerned their souls ; and how he seized their minds with the most solemn and weighty concern for their eternal salvation, as fast as they came to the place where his word was preached. When I first came into these parts in June, I found not one man at the place I visited, but only four women and a few children ; but before I had been here many days they gathered from all quarters, some from more than twenty miles distant ; and when I made them a second visit in the beginning of August, some came more than forty miles to hear me. Many came without any intelligence of what was going on here, and consequently without any de- sign of theirs, so much as to gratify their curiosity. Thus it seemed as if God had summoned them together from all quarters for nothing else but to deliver his message to them ; and that he did this, with regard to some of them, without making use of any human means; although there was pains taken by some of them to give notice to others at remote places. " Nor is it less surprising that they were one after another affected with a solemn conco; n for their souls, almost as soon as they came upon the spot where divine truths were taught them. I could not but think often, that their coming to the place of our public worship, was like Saul and his messengers coming among the prophets ; they no sooner came but they prophesied ; and these were almost as soon affected with asense of their sin and misery, and with an earnest concern for deliverance, as they made their appearance hi our assembly. After this work of grace began with power among them, it was common for strangers of the Indians, before they had been with us one day, to be much awakened, deei)ly con- vinced of their sin and misery, and to inquire with great solicitude, ' What they should do to be saved .■* ' "3. It is likewise remarkable how God preserved these poor ignor- ant Indians from being prejudiced against me, and the truths I taught them, by those means that were used with them for that jiurpose by un- godly people. There were many attempts made by some ill-minded per- sons of the white people to prejudice them against, or fright them from, Christianity. They sometimes told them, that the Indians were well enough already ; — that there was no need of all this noise about Chris- tianity; — that if they were Christians, they would be in no better, no safer, or happier state, than they were already in. Sometimes they told them, that I was a knave, a deceiver, and the like ; that I daily taught M^^^ 194 MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. them lies, and had no other design but to impose upon them, etc. When none of these, and such like suggestions, would avail to their purpose, they then tried another expedient, and told the Indians, ' My design was to gather together as large a body of them as I possibly could, and then sell them to England for slaves; 'than which nothing could be more likely to terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a jealous disposition, and the most averse to a state of servitude perhaps of any people livini;. *' 15ut all these wicked insinuations, through divine goodness o er- ruling, constantly turned against the authors of them, and only served to engage the affections of the Indians more firmly to me ; for they, being awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, could not but observe, that the persons who endeavored to embitter their minds against me, were altogether unconcerned about their own souls, and not only so, but vicious and profane ; and thence could not but argue, that if they had no concern for their own, it was not likely they should have for the souls of others. " It seems yet the more wonderful that the Indians were preserved from once hearkening to these suggestions, inasmuch as I was an utter stranger among them, and could give them no assurance of my sincere affection to, and concern for them, by anything that was past, — while the persons who insinuated these things were their old acquaintance, who had frequent opportunities of gratifying their thirsty appetities with strong drink, and consequently, doubtless, had the greatest interest in their affections. But from this instance of their preservation from fatal preju- dices, I have had occasion with admiration to say, ' If God will work, who can hinder.? ' •'4. Nor is it less wonderful how God was pleaficd to provide a remedy for my want of skill and freedom in the Indian language, by re- markably fitting my interpreter for, and assisting him in the performance of his work. It might reasonably be supposed I must needs labor under a vast disadvantage in addressing the Indians by an interpreter; and that divine truths would undoubtedly lose miich of the energy and i)athos with which they might at first be delivered, by reason of their coming to the audience from a second hand. But although this has often, to my sorrow and discouragement, been the case in times past, when my inte- preter had little or no sense of divine things ; yet now it was quite other- wise. I cannot think my addresses to the Indians ordinarily, since the beginning of this season of grace, have lost anything of the power or pun- gency with which they were made, unless it were sometimes for want of pertinent and pathetic terms and expressions in the Indian language ; which difficulty could not have been much redressed by my personal ac- quaintance with their language. My interpr>.ter had before gained ;.ome good degree of docrrinal knowledge, whereby he was rendered capable of understanding, and communicating, without mistakes, the intent and MEMOIRS or liRAINEKD. 195 meaning of Jny discourses, and tli.it witliout l)eing confined strictly and obliged to interpret verbatim. lie had likewise, to appearance, an ex- penniental acquaintance with divine things; and it pleased God at this season to inspire his mind with lunging desires for the conversion of the Indians, and to give him admirable zeal and fervency in addressing them in order thereto. It is remark.iblc, that, when I was favored with any special assistance in any work, and enabled to speak with more than com- mon freedom, fervency, and power, under a lively and affecting sense of divine things, he was usually affected in the same manner almost instantly, and seemed at once quickened and enabled to speak in the same pathetic language, and under the same influence that I did. A sur- prising energy often accompanied the word at such seasons; so that the face of the whole assembly would be apparently changed almost in an in- stant, and tears and so!)s became common among them. "He also ' ,year(d to have such a clear doctrinal view of God's usual meth'v s '" dealing with souls under a preparatory work of convic- tion and hum. lion as he never had before; so that I could, with his help, discourse freely with the distressed persons about their internal exercises, their fears, discouragements, temptations, etc. Me likewise look pains day and night to repeat and inculcate upon the minds of the Indians the truths which I taught them daily ; and this he appeared to CO, not from spiritual pride, and an affectation of settin;^ himself up as a public teacher, but from a sj)irit of faithfulness, and an honest concern tor their souls. "His conversation among the Indians has likewise, so far as I know, been savory, as becomes a Christian, and a person employed in his work ; and I may justly say, he has been a great comfort to me, and a great in- strument of promoting this good work among the Indians ; so that what- ever be the state of his own soul, it is apparent God has remarkably fitted him fur this work. Thus God has manifested that, without bestowing on me the gift of tongues, he could find a way wherein I might be as effectu- illy enabled to convey the trudis of his glorious gospel to the minds of these poor benighted l\igans. "5. It is further remarkable, that God has carried on his work here Insuch means and in such a manner, as tended tf) obviate, and leave no room, for those prejudices and objecti(jns which have often been raised against such a work. When persons have been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls, by hearing the more awful truths of God's word, and the terrors of the divine law insisted upon, it has usually in such cases been objected by some, that such ]iersons were onlv frightened with a fearful noise of hell and damnati(Mi ; and that there was no evidence that iheit concern was the effect of a divine influence. Dut God has left no room for this objection in the present case ; this work of grace having been begun and carried on, by almost one continued strain of \g6 MEMOIRS OF UKArNERD. CDfi '-0 gospel invitation to perishing sinners. This may rea.-.onably be guessed from a view of the passages of scripture I chiefly insisted upon in my dis- courses from tiF.c to time ; which I have for that purpose inserted in my diary. " Nor have I ever seen so general an awakening in any assembly in my life as appeared here while I was opening and insisting upon the parable of the great supper (Luke xiv.) in which discourse, I was enabled to set before my hearers, the unsearchable riches of gospel grace. Not that I would be understood here, that I never instructed the Indians respecting their fallen state, and the sinfulness and misery of it; for this was what I at first, chiefly insisted upon with them, and endeavored to repeat and inculcate in almost every discourse, knowing that without this foundation, I should but build upon the sand, and that it would be in vain to invite them to Christ unless I could convince them of their need of him. " But still this great awakening, this surprising concern, was never excited by any harangues of terror, but always appeared most remarkable when I insisted upon the compassion of a dying Saviour, the plentiful provisions of the gospel, and the free offers of divine grace, to needy, distressed sinners. Nor would I be understood to insinuate, that such a religious concern might justly be suspected as not being genuine, and from a divine influence, because produced from the preaching of terror ; for this is perhaps, dod's more usual way of awakening sinners, and appears entirely agreeable to scripture and sound reason. But what I meant here to observe is, that God saw fit to employ and bless milder means for the effectual awakening of these Indians, and thereby obviated the forementioned objection, which the world might otherwise have had a more plausible color of making. " As there has been no room for any plausible objection against this work, with regard to the means ; so neither with regard to the manner in which it has been carried on. It is true, persons' concern for their souls has been exceedingly great ; the convictions of their sin and misery have arisen to a high degree, and produced many tears, cries, and groans; but then thev have not been attended with those disorders, either bodily or mental, which have sometimes prevailed among persons under religions impressions. There has here been no appearance of those convulsions, bodily agonies, frightful scrcamings, swoonings, and the like, which have been so much complained of in some places; although there have been some, who, with the jailer, have been made to tremble under a sense of their sin and misery ; numbers who have been made to cry out from a dis- tressing view of their perishing state ; — and some, who have been fori time, in a great measure, deprived of their bodily strength, yet without any such convulsive appearances. ME Af OIKS OF nRA/.VERD. 197 "Nor has there l>ccn any appearance of mental disorders here, such as visions, trau' i ., imaginations of being under prophetic inspiration, and the like ; or scarce any unbecoming disposition to appear remarl >>^ 7 Photograpliic Sciences Corporaiion 33 WEST MAIK STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 ^ 198 MEMOIRS OF PRATNERD. en V3 •' And now, upon the whole, I think, I may justly say, that here arc all the symptoms and evidences of a rcniarkal)]c work of grace among tlusc Indians, whicii can reasonably be desired or expected. May the grc;U author of this work maintain and promote the same here, and propagate it everywhere, till ' the whole earth be filled with his glory ! ' Amen. " I have now rode more than three thousand miles, of which I have kept an exact account, since the beginning of March last, and almosl .'he whole of it has been in my own proper business as a missionary^ upon the design, either immediately, or more remotely, of propagating Christian knowledge among the Indians. I have taken pains to look out for a col- league or companion, to travel with me ; and have likewise used endea- vors to procure something for his support, among religious persons in New England, which cost me a journey of several hundred miles in length ; but have not, as yet, found any ptrson qualified and disposed for this good work, although I had some encouragement from ministers and others, that it was hoped a maintenance might be procured for one, when the man should be found. " I have likewiire represented to the gentlemen concerned with this mission, the necessity of having an English school speedily set up among these Indians, who are now willing to be at the pains of gathering together in a body for this purpose. In order thereto, I have humbly proposed to them the collecting of money for the maintenance of a schoolmaster, and the defraying of other necessary charges, in the promotion of this good work ; which they are now attempting in the several congregations of Christians to which they respectively belonged. " The several companies of Indians to whom I have preached in the summer past, live at great distances from each other. It is more than seventy miles from Crossweeksung, in New Jersey, to the Forks of Dela- ware in Pennsylvania ; and thence to sundry of the Indian settlenients which I visited on Susquehannah, is more than a hundred and twenty miles. So much of my time is necessarily consumed in journeying, that I can have but little for any of my necessary studies,' and consequently for the study of the Indian languages in particular ; and especially seeing I am obliged to discourse so frequently to the Indians at each of theso places while I am with them, in order to redeem time to visit the rest. I am, at times, almost discouraged from attempting togain any acquaintance with the Indian languages, they are so very numerous ; some account of which I gave in my diary of May last ; and especially, seeing my other labors and fatigues engross almost the whole of my time, and bear ex- ceedingly hard upon my constitution, so that my health is much impaired. — However, I have taken considerable pains to learn the Delaware lan- guage, and jiroposc still to do so, as far as my other business and bodily health will admit. I have already made some proficiency in it, though I MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 199 have labored under many and great disadvantages in my attempts of that nature. It is but just to observe here, that all the pains I took to acquaint myself with the language of the Indians with whom I spent my first year, were of little or no service to me here among the- Delawarcs ; so that my work, when I came among these Indians, was all to begin anew. " As these poor ignorant pagans stood in need of having ' line upon line, and precept upon precept,' in order to their being instructed and grounded in the principles of Christianity ; so I preached * publicly, and taught from house to house,' almost every daj for whole weeks together, when I was with them. My public discourses did not then make up the one half of my work, while there wore so m..ny constantly coming to me with that important inquiry, ' What must we do to be saved .'' ' and open- ing to me the various exercises of their minds. Yet I can say to the praise of rich grace, that the apparent success with which my labors were crowned, unspeakably more than compensated for the labor itself and was likewise a great means of supporting and carrying me through the busi- ness and fatigues, which, it seems, my nature would have sunk under, without such an encouraging prospect. But although this success has afforded matter of support, comfort, and thankfulness ; yet in this season I have found great need of assistance in my work, and have been much oppressed for want of one to bear a part of my labors and hardships. ' May the Lord of the harvest send forth other laborers into this part of his harvest, that those who sit in darkness may see great light ; and that the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge of himself I ' Amen." ^ ^ItS b^.^^^ ^ »H AH < 200 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 'V3 CHAPTER IX. Efforts to get a Schoolmaster to instruct the Indians. — Continuance of the Good Work at Crossweeksung. — Fode more that three thousand miles in a few months in visiting different parts of his Field. — Successful attempts to teach the Assembly's Shorter Cate- chism to the Indians. — Amazing Changes wrought in one Year in the Character of these Indians. On Tuesday, Nov. 5, Brainerd left the Indians and spent the remaining part of this week in traveling to various parts of New Jersey, in order to get a collection for the use of the Indians, and to obtain a schoolmaster to instruct them. In the mean time, he speaks of very sweet refreshment and en- tertainment with Christian friends, and of being sweetly em- ployed while riding, in meditation on divine subjects ; his heart being enlarged, his mind clear, his spirit refreshed with divine truths, and his " heart burning within him while he went by the way, and the Lord opened to him the scrip- tures." "Lord's day ^ Nov. lo. [At Elizabethtown.] Was comfortable in the morning both in body and mind; preached in the forenoon from 2 Cor. V. 20. Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, etc. God was pleased to give me freedom and fervency in my discourse ; and the pres- ence of God seemed to be in the assembly ; numbers were affected, and there were many tears among them. In the afternoon, preached from Luke xiv. 22. And yet there is room. Was favored with divine assis- tance in the first prayer, and poured out my soul to God with a filial temper ; the living God also assisted me in the sermon." The next day he went to Newtown, Long Island, to a meeting of Presbytery. He speaks of some sweet medi- tations which he had while there, on Christ's delivering up the kingdom to the Father ; and of his soul being much re- freshed and warmed with the consideration of that blissful day. '* A^, 15. Could not cross the ferry by reason of the violence of the MEMOIRS OF liRAINERD. 20I wind; nor could I enjoy any place of retirement at the ferry-house ; so that I was in perplexity. Yet God gave me some satisfaction and sweet- ness in meditation, and in lifting up my heart to him in the midst of com- pany. Although some were drinking and talking profanely, which was indeed a grief to me, yet my mind w&s calm and composed ; and I could not but bless God, that I was not likely to spend an eternity in such com- pany. In the evening I sat down and wrote with composure and free- dom ; and can say through pure grace it was a comfortable evening to my soul ; an evening which I was enabled to spend in the service of God. " Nov. i6. Crossed the ferry about ten o'clock, and arrived at Eliza- bethtown near night. Was in a calm, composed frame of mind, and felt an entire resignation, with respect to a loss I had lately sustained in hav- ing my horse stolen from mc • M'ewtown. Had some longings of soul for the dear people of ElizaLet'-town, that God would pour out his Spirit upon them, and revive his work among them." He spent the next four days at Elizabethtown, for the most part in a free and comfortable state of mind ; intensely engaged in the service of God, and enjoying at times the special assistance of his Spirit. On Thursday of this week he rode to Freehold, and spent the day under considerable dejection. "yVbr'. 22. Rode to Mr. Tennent's, and from thence to Crossweeksung. Had but little freedom in meditation while riding ; which was a grief and burden to my soul. O that I could fill up all my time, whether, in the house or by the way, for God. I was enabled, I think, this day to give up my soul to God, and put over all his concerns into his hands ; and found some real consolation in the thought of being entirely at the divine dis- posal, and having no will or interest of my own. I have received my all from God ; O that I could return my all to God I Surely God is worthy of my highest affections and most devoted adoration ; he is infinitely worthy that I should make him my last end, and live for ever to him. O that I might never more, in any one instance, live to myself I " Lord's day, Nov. 24.* Preached both parts of the day from the story of Zaccheus, Luke xix. i — 9. In the latter exercise, when I opened and insisted upon the salvation that comes to a sinner upon his becoming a son of Abraham or a true believer, the word seemed to be attended with divine power to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were much affected with divine truths ; former convictions were revived ; oue or two per- sons newly awakened ; and a most affectionate engagem jnt in divine service appeared among them universally. The impressions they were • The second part of the journal began her , 202 MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. fc3 s :3 I — under appeared to be the genuine effect of God's word brought home to their Iitails by the power and influence of the Divine Spirit. " Nov. 26. After having spent sonic time in private conferences with my people, I discoursed publicly among them from John v. i — 9. I was favored with some special freedom and fervency in my discourse, and a powerful energy accompanied divine truths. Many wept and sobbed affectionately, and scarcely any appeared unconcerned in the whole assembly. The influence which seized the audience, appeared gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious. It produced no boisterous com- motions of the passions ; but seemed deeply to affect the heart, and ex- cite in th'j persons under convictions of their lost state, heavy groans and tears: and in others, who had obtained comfort, a sweet and humble melting. It seemed like the gentle but steady showers which effectually water the earth, without violently beating upon the surface. The persons lately awakened were some of them deeply distressed for their souls, and appeared earnestly solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ ; and some of them, after jjublic worship was over, in anguish of spirit, said, ' they knew not what to do, nor how to get their wicked hearts changed.' " Nov. 28. Discoursed to the Indians publicly, after having used some private endeavors to instruct and excite some in the duties of Christianity. Opened and made remarks upon the sacred story of our Lord's transfiguration, Luke ix. 28 — 36. Had a principal view in insist- ing upon this passage of scripture to the edification and consolation of God's people. Observed some, that I have reason to think are truly such, exceedingly affected with an account of the glory of Christ in his transfiguration, and filled with longing desires of being with him, that they might with open face behold his glory. After public service was over, I asked one of them, who wept and sobbed most affectionately, What she now wanted ? She replied, ' O, to be with Christ. She did net know how to stay.' This was a blessed refreshing season to the re- ligious people in general. The Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine glory to them, as when transfigured before his disciples ; and they were ready with the disciples universally to say, " Lord, it is good for us to be here.' , '* The influence of God's word was not confined to those who had given evidence of being truly gracious ; though at this time I calculated my discourse for and directed it chiefly to such. But it appeared to be a season of Divine power in the whole assembly ; so that most were in some measure affected. One aged man, in particular, lately awakened, was now brought under a deep and pressing concern for his soul, was now earnestly inquisitive * how he might find Jesus Christ.' God seems still to vouchsafe his divine presence, and the influence of his blessed MEMOIRS OF BkAINERD, 203 ;Vit home to conferences \ V. 1—9- I y discourse, y wept ami rned in the :e, appeared isterous com- cart, and ex- 'y groans and and humble ch effectually urface. The ssed for their est in Christ ; ;uish of spirit, wicked hearts r having used the duties of :d story of our view in insist- consolation of |hink are truly Christ in his [with him, that ic service was affectionately, irist. She did ison to the re- d to manifest disciples ; and lord, it is good Ihose who had ne I calculated peared to be a 1 most were in tely awakened, his soul, was ' God seems [o£ his blessed Spirit to accompany his word, at least in some measure, in all our meet- ings for divine worsiiip. " f enjoyed sonic ilivinc comfort and fervency in the pid)lic exercise and afterwards While riding to my lodgings, was favored with some sweet meditations on Luke ix, 31. 'Who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem,' My thoughts ran with freedom ; and I saw and felt what a glorious subject the death of Christ is for glorified souls to dwell upon in their conversa- tion. O the death of Christ! hovv infinitely precious! " Nov. 30. Preached near night, after having spent some hours in private conference with some of my people about their soul's concerns Explained and insisted upon the story of the rich man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19 — 26. The word made powerful impressions upon many in the assembly, especially while I discoursed of the blessedness of Lazarus in Abraham's bosom. This I could perceive affected them much more than what I spoke 01 the rich man's misery and torments; and thus it has been usually with them. They have almost always appeared much more affected with the comfortable than the dreadful truths of Clod's word. That which has distressed many of them under conviction is, that they found they wanted, and could not obtain, the happiness of the godly ; at least, they have often appeared to be more affected with this than with the terrors of hell. But whatever l^e the means of their awakening, it is plain, numbers are made deeply sensible of their sin and miser)', the wickedness and stubbornness of their own hearts, their utter inability to help themselves, or to come to Christ for help, without divine assistance; and so are brought to see their perishing need of Christ to do all for them and to lie at the foot of sovereign mercy. '' Lord's day, Dec. I. Discoursed to my people in the forenoon from Luke xvi. 27-31. There appeared an unfeigned affection in divers persons, and some seemed deeply impressed with divine truths. Tn the afternoon, preached to a number of white people ; at which time the Indians attended with diligence, and many of them were unal)le to under- stand a considerable part of the discourse. At night discoursed to my people again, and gave them particular cautions and directions relating to their conduct in divers respects, and pressed them to watchfulness in their deportment, seeing they were encompassed with those who waited for their halting, and who stood ready to draw them into temptations of every kind, and then to expose religion by their missteps. — Dec. 2. Was much affected with grief that I had not lived more to God; and felt strong res- olutions to double my diligence in my Master's service." After this he went to a meeting of the Presbytery, at a place in New Jersey called Connecticut Farms, and was ab- 204 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. «!fcr -a: sent the remainder of the week. He speaks of some seasons of sweetness and spiritual affection in his absence, " Lord's day, Dec. 8. Discokirsed on the story of the blind man, John ix. There appeared no remarkable effect of the word upon the assembly at this time. The persons who have lately been much concerned for their souls, seemed now not so affected nor solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ as has been usual ; although they attended divine service with seriousness and diligence. Such have been the doings of the Lord here in awakening sinners, and affecting the hearts of those who arc brought to solid comfort with a fresh sense of divine things, from time to time, that it is now strange to see the assembly sit with dry eyes and without sobs and groans. — Dec. 9. 10. 11. Spent most of the day in procuring provisions in order to my setting up housekeeping among the Indians. Enjoyed little satisfaction through the day, being very much out of my element. Was engaged in the same business as yesterday. Towards night got into my house. Spent the forenoon in necessary labors about my house. In the afternoon rode out upon business ; and passed the evening with satisfaction among friends in conversation on a serious and profitable subject. " Dec. 12. Preached from the parable of the Ten Virgins, (Matt, xxv.) The divine power seemed in some measure to attend this discourse ; in which I was favored with uncommon freedom and plainness of address, and enabled to open divine truths, and explain them to the capacities of my people in a manner beyond myself. Tiiere appeared in many persons an affectionate concern for their souls, although the concern in general seemed not so deep and pressing as it had formerly done. Yet it was re- freshing to see many melted into tears and unaffected sobs; some with a sense of divtne love, and some for the want of it. " Dec. 13. Spent the day mainly in labor about my house. In the even ing, spent some time in writing ; but was very weary and much outdone with the labor of the day. — Dec. 14. Rose early, and wrote by candle- light some considerable time ; spent most of the day in writing, but was somewhat dejected. In the evening was exercised with pain in my head. *■'■ Dec. 15. Preached to the Indians from Luke xiii. 24-28. Divine truth fell with weight and power upon the audience and seemed to reach the hearts of many. Near night discoursed to them again from Matt. xxv. 31-46. At this season also the word appeared to be accompanied with a divine influence, and made powerful impressions upon the assembly in general, as well as upon numbers in a very special and particular manner. This was an amazing season of grace. ' The word of the Lord,' this day, ' was quick and powerful, sharper than a two edged sword, and * This is the third house that ht built to dwell in among the Indians. The first at Kaunaumeek, county of Albany ; the second at the Forks of Delaware ; the third i« Crosiweeksung, New Jersey. MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 205 nne seasons pierced the hearts of many. The assembly was greatly affected and deeply wrought upon ; yet without so much apparent commotion of the passions as appeared in the beginning of this work of grace. The im- pressions made by the word of God upon the audience appeared solid, rational, and deep; worthy of the solemn truths by which they were pro- duced; and far from being the effects of any sudden fright or groundless perturbation of mind. O, how did the hearts of the hearers seem to bow under the weight of divine truths; and how evident did it now appear, that they received and felt them, ' not as the word of man, but as the word of God.' None can form a just idea of the appearance of our assembly at this time but those who have seen a congregation solemnly awed, and deeply impressed by the special power and influence of divine truths delivered to them in the name of God. " Dec. \(y. Discoursed to my people in the evening from Luke .\i. 1-13 After having insisted some time upon the ninth verse, wherein there is a command and encouragement to ask for the divine favor, I called upon them to ask for a new heart with the iitmost importunity ; as the man mentioned in the parable, on which I was discoursing, pleaded for loaves of bread at midnight. There was much affection and concern in the as- sembly, and especially one woman appeared in great distress for her soul. She was brought to such an agony in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran off her face although the evening was very cold and her bitter cries were the most affecting indications of her heart. " Dec. 21. My people having now attained to a considerable degree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity, I thought it proper to set up a catechetical lecture among them; and this evening attempted something in that form ; proposing questions to them agreeably to the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, receiving their answers, and then explaining and in- sisting as appeared necessary and proper upon each question. After this I endeavored to make some practical improvement of the whole. This was the method I entered upon. They were able readily and rationally to answer many important questions which I proposed to them ; so that upon trial, I found their doctrinal knowledge to exceed my own expecta- tions. In the improvement of my discourse, when I came to infer and open the blessedness of those who have so great and glorious a God, as had before been spoken of, ' for their everlasting friend and portion, ' several were much affected, and especially when I exhorted, and endea- vored to persuade them to be reconciled to God through his dear Son, and thus to secure an interest in his everlasting favor. So that they ap- peared not only enlightened and instructed, but affected and engaged in their soul's concern by this method of discoursing. After my labors with the Indians, I spent some time in writing some things divine and solemn; and was much wearied with the labors of the day, found that my spirits 206 MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD. i ^^3 were extremely spent, and that I could do no more. I am conscious to myself that my labors are as great and constant as my nature will admit; and ordinarily I go to the extent of my strength, so that I do oil I can; but the misery is I do not labor with that heavenly temper, that single eye to the glory of (lod, that I long for. " Lord's ii(jy, Dec. 22. Discoursed upon the story of the young man in the Gospel, Matt. ix. 16-22. God made it a seasonable word, I a.n per- suaded, to some souls. There were several of the Indians newly come here, who had frequently lived among Quakers; and, being more tivili/cd and conformed to English manners than the generality of the Indians they had imbibed some of the Quakers' errors, especially this fundamental one, viz. That if men will but live soberly and honestly according to the dictates of their own consciences, or the light within, there is then no danger or doubt of their salvation. These persons I found much worse to deal with than those who are wholly under pagan darkness ; who make no pretences to knowledge in Christianity at all, nor have any self-righteous foundation to stand upon. However, they all, except one, appeared now convinced that this sober honest life of itself was not sufficient to salvation since Christ himself had declared it so in the case of the young man. They seemed in some measure concerned to obtain that change of heart, the necessity of which I had been laboring to show them. " This was likewise a season of comfortto some souls, and in particular to one, the same mentioned in my journal of the i6th instant, who never before obtained any settled comfort, though I have abundant reason to think she had passed a saving change some days before. She now appeared in a heavenly frame of mind, composed, and de- lighted with the divine will. When I came to discourse particularly with her, and to enquire of her, how she obtained relief and deliverance from the spiritual distresses which she had lately suffered; she answered in broken English,* 'Me try, me try save myself; last, my strength be all gone; (meaning her ability to save herself;) could not me stir bit further. Den last me forced let Jesus Christ alone send me hell, if be please.' I said, ' But, you was not willing to go to hell ; was you ? ' She replied, 'Could not me help it. My heart, he would wicked for all. Could not me make him good, (meaning, she saw it was right she should go to hell, because her heart was wicked, and would be so after all she could do to mend it.) I asked her, how she got out of this case. She answered still in the same broken language, ' By by, my heart be glad desperately.' I asked her, why her heart was glad ? She replied, ' Glad my heart, Jesus Christ do what he please with me. Den me tink, glad my heart * In proper English, ' I tried, and tried to save myself, till at last my strenRth was all gone, and I could not stir any further Then J was at last obliged to let Jesus Christ alone, to send me to hell if he pleased. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 207 Jesus Christ send mc to hell. Did not me care where he put me ; love him for all.* She could not readily be convinced, but that she was will- ing to go to hell if Christ was jjleased to send her there ; although the truth evidently was, that her will was so swallowed up in the divine will, that she could not frame any hell in her imagination which would be dreadful or undesirable, provided it was the will of God to send her to it. Toward night discoursed to them again in the catechetical method, which I entered upon the evening before. When T came to improve the truth which I had explained to them, and to answer that fpicstion, * lUit how shall I know whether Cod has chosen mc to everlasting life? ' by pressing them to come and give up their hearts to Christ, and thereby ' to make their election sure,' they then appeared much affected : and persons under concern were afresh engaged in seeking after an interest in him ; while some others, who had obtained comfort before, were refreshed to find that love to God in themselves, which was an evidence of his electing love to them. " />^f . 23fl«fiction in her countenance ; and when I inquired into tl " 1 'ason of it, sbe replied, 'that God had made her feel that it was rig'.t for him to do what he pleased with all things ; and that it would be right if he should 212 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, S V3 cast her husband and son both into hell ; and she saw it was so right fnr God to do what he pleased with them, that she could not but rejoice in God even if he should send them into hell ; ' though it was apparent slic loved them dearly. She moreover inquired whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians by some good people a great way off. I replied, ' Yes, by the good people in Scotland.' She answered, * that her heart loved those good people so the evening before, that she could not help praying for them all night ; her heart would go to God for them.' Thus the blessings of those ready to perish are like to come upon those pious per- sons who have communicated of their substance to the propagation of the gospel. ^^ Jan. 6. Being very weak in body, I rode for my health. While rid- ing, my thoughts were sweetly engaged for a time upon ' the Stono cut out of the mountain without hands, which broke in pieces all before it, and waxed great, and became a great mountdn, and filled the whole earth ; and I longed that Jesus should take tc himself his great power, and reign to the ends of the earth-' O how sweet were the moments wherein I felt my soul warm with hopes of the enlargement of the Re- deemer's kingdom : I wanted nothirj elsCf but that Christ should reign to the glory of his blessed name. *''' Jan 8. In the evening my heart was drawn out after God in secret ; my soul was refreshed and quickened, and I trust faith was in exercise. I had great hopes of the ingathering of precious souls to Christ, not only among my own people, but others also. I was sweetly resigned a:id com- posed under my bodily weakness ; and was willing to live or die, and de- sirous f^o labor for God to the utmost of my strength. "Jan 9. Was still very weak and exercised with vapory disorders. In the evening enjoyed some enlargement and spirituality in prayer. that I could always spend my time profitably both in health and weak- ness.— Jan. 10. My soul was in a sweet, calm, and composed frame, and try heart filled with love to all the world ; and Christian simplicity and tenderness seemed then to prevail and reign within me. Near night visited a serious Baptist minister, and had some agreeable conversation with him, and found that I could love Christ in his friends.— Jan. 11. Discoursed ir a catechetical method, as usual, of late. Having opened our first parent's primitive apostacy from God, and our fall in him ; 1 proceeded to apply my discourse by showing the necessity we stood ia of an almighty Redeemer, and the absolute need every sinner has of an ni- terest in his merits and mer'iation. There was some tenderness and af- fectionate concern apparent in the assembly. *• Lord's day, Jan. 12. Preached from Isaiah Iv. 6. The word of God seemed to fall upon the audience with a divine weight and influence, and evidently appeared to be * not the word of man.' The blessed Spirit, I MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 213 am persuaded accompanied what was spoken to the hearts cf many ; so that tlicrc was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers who were under spiritual exercise before. Toward nighc catechised in my usual method. Near the close of my discourse, there appeared a great concern and much affection in the audience ; which increased while I continued to invite them to come to an all-sufncient Redeemer for salvation. The Spirit of God seems from time to time to be striving with souls here. They are so frequently and repeatedly roused, that they seem unable at present to lull themselves asleep. '^ Jan.\2' Was visited by several persons under deep concern for their souls ; one of whom was newly awakened. It is a most agreeable work to treat with souls who are solicitously inquiring * what they shall do to be saved.' As we are never to be ' weary in well doing,' so the obligation seems to be peculiarly strong when the work is so very desirable. Yet I must say, my health is so much impaired, and my spirits so wasted with my labors and solitary manner of living ; there being no human creature in tlie house with me ; that their repeated and almost incessant applica- tions to me for help and direction, are sometimes exceedingly burden- some, and so exhaust my spirits, that I become fit for nothing at all, en- tirely unable to prosecute my business, sometimes for days together. What contributes much towards this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend much time in communicating a little matter to them ; there being oftentimes many things to be premised before lean speak directly to what I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted, wliere there was a competency of doctrinal knowledge. "/a«. ^4. Spent some time in private conference with my people, and fourjd some disposed to take comfort, as I thought, upon slight grounds. They are now generally awakened, and it is beco ne so dis- graceful, as well as terrifying to the conscience, to be destitute of religion, tiipt they are in imminent danger of taking up with an appearance of grace, rather than to live under the fear and disgrace of an unregenerated state. "_/'"'• 15- My spirits were very low and flat, and I could not but think I was a buiden to God's earth ; and could scarcely look anybody ill the face through shame and sense of barrenness, God pity a poor un- piofitable creature. "Jan. 18. Prosecuted my catechetical method of discoursing. There appeared a great solemnity and some considerable affection in the assem- %. This method of instruction I find very profitable. When I first entered upon it, I was exercised with fears lest my discourses would unavoidably be so doctrinal, that thev would tend only to enlighten th*; head, but not to affect the heart. But the event proved quite otherwise; 214 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. CCS 'V3 for these exercises have hitherto been remarkably blessed in the latter, as well as the former respects. ^^ Lord's day ^ Jan. ly. Discoursed to my people from Isaiah Iv. 7. Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and this appeared to be a powerful season of grace among us. Numbers were much affected. Convictions were powerfully revived, and divers numbers Oi Christians refreshed and strengthened ; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort m Christ ; who afterwards gave me such an account of God's dealing with his sou^, as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me."* The next day Brainerd set out on a journey to Elizabeth- town, to confer with the Correspondents at their meeting there, and e:ajoyed much spiritual refreshment from day today, through this week. The things expressed at this time are such as these : serenity, composure, sweetness, and tender- ness of soul ; thanksgiving to God for his success among the Indians ; delight in prayer and praise ; sweet and profitable meditations on various divine subjects ; longing for more love, for more vigor to live to God, for a life more entirely devoted to him, that he might spend all his time profitably for God and his cause ; conversing on spiritual subjects with affection ; and lamentation for unprofitableness. *■' Lord''s day, Jan. 26. [At Connecticut Farms.] Was calm and com- posed. Was made sensible of utter inability to preach without divine help and was in some good measure willing to leave it with God to give or withhold assistance, as he saw would be most for his own glory. Was favored with a considerable degree of assistance in my public work. After public worship I was in a sweet and solemn frame of mind, thankful to God that he had made me in some measure faithful in addressing pre- cious souls, but grieved that I had been no niore fervent in my work ; and was tenderly affected towards all the world, longing that every sinner might be saved ; and could not have entertained any bitterness towards the worst enemy living. In the evening rode to Elizabcthtown ; and while riding was almost constantly engaged in lifting up my heart to God, lest I should lose that sweet, heavenly solemnity and composure of soul which I then enjoyed. Afterwards was pleased to think that God reigncth; and thought I could never be uneasy with any of his dispensations, but must be entirely satisfied, whatever trials he should cause me in his church to encounter. Never felt more sedateness, divine serenity, and composure * [See the next chapter for his account of this interesting case.— J. M. S.] MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2^5 in the latter, as of mind ; could freely have ieft the dearest earthly friend for the society of angels and spirits of just men made perfect ; my affections soared aloft to the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment. I viewed the emptiness and unsatisfactory nature of the most desirable, earthly objects, any further than God is seen in them, and longed for a life of spirituality and inward purity; without which I saw there could be no true pleasure. "■Jan. 28th. [At Crossvveeksung,] The Indians in these parts, have iti times past run themselves in debt by their excessive drinking ; and some have taken the advantage of them, and put them to trouble and charge, by arresting sundry of them ; whereby it was supposed their hunting lands, in great part, were much endangered, and might speedily be taken from them. Being sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, in order to their being a Christian congregation, if these lands should be taken, which was thought very likely, I thought it my duty to use my utmost endaevors to prevent so unhappy an event. Having acquainted the gentlemen concerned in this mission with the affair, according to the best information I could get of it, they thought it proper to expend the money which they had been, and still were collecting for the religious in- terest of the Indians, at least a part of it, for discharging their debts and securing these lands, that there might be no entanglement lying upon them to hinder the settlement and hopeful enlargement of a Christian con- gregation of Indians in these parts. Having received orders from them, I answered, in behalf of the Indians, eighty-two pounds, five shillings, N. Jersey currency, at eight shillings per ounce ; and sc prevented the danger of difficulty in this respect. *' As God has wrought a wonderful work of grace among these Indians, and now inclines others from remote places to fall in among them almost continually ; and as he has opened a door for the prevention of the diffi- culty now mentioned, which seemed greatly to threaten their religious in- terests as well as worldly comforts, it is to be hoped that he designs to establish a church for himself among them, and hand down true religion to their posterity "/""• 30- Preached to the Indians from John iii. 16, 17. There was a solemn attention and some affection visible in the audience; especially several persons, who had long been concerned for their souls, i;eemed afresh excited and engaged in seeking after an interest in Christ One, with much concern, afterwards told me ' his heart was so pricked with my preaching he knew not where to turn or what to do.' ^^Jan. 31. This day the person whom I had made choice of and engaged for a schoolmaster among the Indians, arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by my people universally. Whereupon I distributed several dozens of primers among the children. — Feb. i. My schoolmaster entered upon his business among the Indians. He has generally about 2l6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. QDe IT*' UJ f ■« ■ thirty children and young persons in his school in the day time, and about fifteen married people in the evening school. The number of the lattir sort of persons being less than it would be if they could be more constantly at home, and could spare time from their necessary employments for an attendance upon these instructions. " Towards night enjoyed some of the clearest thoughts on a divine sub- ject, viz., that treated of \ Cor. xv. 13-16 : Jiut if there be no resurrection of the dead, etc., which I ever remember to have had upon any subject whatsoever ; and spent two or three hours in writing them. I was re- freshed with this intenseness ; my mind was so engaged in these medita- tions I could scarcely turn it to anything else, and indeed I could not be willing to part with so sweet an entertainment. In the evening catechised in my usual method. Towards the close of my discourse, a surprising power seemed to attend the word, especially to some persons. One man considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer, and murderer, and was awakened some months before, was now brought to great extremity under his spiritual distress ; so that he trembled for hours together, and apprehended himself just dropping into hell, without any power to rescue or relieve himself. Divers others appeared under great concern as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change. ^'■Lord's day, Feb. 2. Preached from John v. 24, 25. There appeared as usual some concern and affection in the assembly. Towards night proceeded in my usual method of catechising. Observed my people more ready in answering the questions proposed to them than ever before. It is apparent they advance daily in doctrinal knowledge. But what is still more desirable, the Spirit of God is yet operating among them ; whereby experimental, as well as speculative knowledge is propagated in their minds. " After public worship, my bodily strength being much spent, my spirits sunk amazingly, and especially on hearing that I was generally taken to be a Roman Catholic, sent by the Papists to draw the Indians into an insurrection against the English, that some were in fear of me, and others were for having me taken up by authority and punished. Alas, what will not the devil do to bring a slur and disgrace on the work of God ! how holy and circumspect had T need to be ! Through divine goodness I have be t\\ enabled to mind my own business in these parts as well as else- where ; and to let all men, and all denominations of men alone, as to their party notions, and only preached the plain and necessary truths of Chris- tianity, neither inviting to, nor excluding from .iny meeting, any of any sort or persuasion whatsoever. Towards night the Lord gave me freedom at the throne of grace in my first prayer before my catechetical lecture ; and in opening the xlvth Psalm to .ny people, my soul confided in God ; although the wicked world should slander and persecute me, or even con- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 217 demn and execute me as a traitor to my king and country. Truly, ' God is a present help in time of trouble.' In the evening my soul was in sume measure comfortc 1, having some hope that one poor soul was brought home to God this day ; though the case did by no means appear clear. Oh, that I could fill uj) every moment of time during my abode here below in the service of my God and King. "Feb. 3. My spirits were still much sunk with what I heard the day before of my being suspected to be engaged in the Pretender's interest. It grieved me, that after there had been so much evidence of a glorious work of grace among these poor Indian? as that the most carnal men could not but take notice of the great change made among them, so many poor souls should still suspect the whole to be only a Popish plot, and so cast an awful reproach on this blessed work of the divine Spirit, and at the same time wholly exclude themselves from receiving any benefit by this divine influence. This put me upon searching whether I had ever dropped anything inadvertently, which might give occasion to any to sus])ect that I was stirring up the Indians against the English ; and could think of nothing, unless it was my attempting sometimes to vindi- cate the rights of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid practice of making the Indirns drunk, and then cheating them out of their lands and other property. Once I remembered I had done this with too much warmth of spirit, which much distressed me ; thinking that it might possibly prejudice them against this work of grace to their everlasting destruction. God, I believe, did me good by this trial, which served to humble me, and show me the necessity of watchfulness, and of being wise as a serpent as well as harmless as a dove. This exercise led me to a throne of grace, and there I found some support ; though I could not get the burden wholly removed. Was assisted in prsver, especially in the evening." He remained still under a degree of anxiety about this affair, which contintied to have the same effect upon him to cause him to reflect upon and humble himself, and frequent ihe throne of grace ; but soon found himself much more re- lieved and supported. He was this week in an extremely weak state, and obliged, as he expresses it, " to consume considerable time in diversions for his health." ''Feb. 5. Discoursed to a considerable number of the Indians in the evening ; at which time numbers of them appeared much affected and melted with divine things. — Feb. 8. Spent a considerable part of the day in visiting my people from house to house, and conversing with them about their soul's concerns. Divers persons wept while I discoursed to 2i8 MEMOLKS OF BRAINERD, them, and appeared concerned for nothing so much as for an interest in the great Redeemer. In the evening catechised as usual. I.^ivine truths made sonic impressions upon the audience ; and were attended with an affectionate engagement of soul in some. *^ Lorits day, Feb. 9. Discoursed to my people from the story of the blind man, Matt. x. 46-52. The word of God seemed weighty and power- ful upon the assembly at this time, and made considerable impressions upon many ; several in particular, who have generally been remarkably stupid and careless under the means of grace, were now awakened, and wept affectionately. The most earnest attention, as well as tenderness and affection appeared in the audience universally. Baptized three per- sons ; two adults and one child. The adults, I have reason to hope, were both truly pious. There was considerable melting in the assembly, while I was discoursing particularly to the persons, and administering the ordinance. God has been pleased to own and bless the administration of this as well as of his other ordinances among the Indians. There are some here who have been powerfully awakened £t seeing others baptized; and some who have obtained relief and comfort just in the season when this ordinance has been administered." The Monday after he set out on a journey to the Forks of Delaware, to visit the Indians there. He performed the journey under great weakness, and was sometimes exercised with much pain ; but says nothing of his dejection and mel- ancholy. He arrived at his own house at the Forks on Fri- day. During the week he appears from his Diary to have enjoyed a sweet composure of mind, thankfulness to God for his mercies to him and others, resignation to the divine will, and comfort in prayer and religious conversation. At the same time his heart was drawn out after God, and affected with a sense of his own barrenness, as well as with the ful- ness and freeness of divine grace. " Lorifs day, February 16. [Forks of Delaware,! Knowing that numbers of the Indians m these parts were obstinately set against Christianity, and that some of them had refused to hear me preach in times past, T thought it might be proper and beneficial to the Christian in- terest here, to have a number of my religious people from Crossweeksung with me to converse with them about religious matters; hoping it might be a means to convince them of the truth and importance of Christianity, to see and hear some of their own nation discoursing of divine things, and mani- festing earnest desires that others might be brought out of heathenish dark* MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD 219 nessas themselves were. For this purpose I selected half a dozen of the must serious and intelligent of those Indians, and having brought them to the Forks of Delaware, I this day met with them and the Indians of this place. Numbers of the latter probably could not have been prevailed iijKjn to attend this meeting, had it not been for these religious Indians, wlio accompanied me hither, and preached to them. Some of those who had in times past been extremely averse to Christianity, now behaved soberly, and some others laughed and mocked. However the word of God fell with such weight and power that numbers seemed to be stunned, Slid expressed a willingness to hear me again of these matters. "Afterwards prayed with ''.nd rr^de an address to the white people present, and could not but observe some visible effects of the word, such as tears and sobs among them. After public worship, spent some time, and took pains to convince those that mocked of the truth and impor- tance of what I had been insisting upon ; and so endeavored to awaken their attention to divine truths. Had reason to think from what I ob- served then and afterwards, that my endeavors took considerable ef- fect upon one of the worst of them. Those few Indians then present, who used to oe my hearers in these parts, some having removed hence to Crossweeksung, seemed somewhat kindly disposed toward me, and Rlad to see me again. They had been so much attacked, however by some of the opposing Pagans, that they were almost ashamed or afraid to manifest their friendship. ''Feb, 17. After having spent much time in discoursing to the In- dians in their respective houses, I got them together and repeated and inculcated what I had before taught them. Afterwards discoursed to them from Acts viii. 5-8. A divine influence seemed to attend the word. Several of the Indians here appeared to be somewhat awakened, and mani- fested earnest tears and sobs. My people of Crossweeksung continued with them day and night repeating and inculcating the truths I had taught them, and sometimes prayed and sung psalms among them ; discoursing with each other in their hearing of the great things God had done for them and for the Indians from whence they came. This seemed, as my people told me, to have more effect upon them, than when they directed th;ir discourse immediately to them. I was refreshed and encouraged, and found a spirit of prayer in the evening, and earnest longings for the illumination and conversion of these poor Indians. " Feb. 18. Preached to an assembly of Irish people, nearly fifteen miles distant from the Indians. — Feb. 19. Preached to the Indians again, after having spent considerable time in conversing with them more pri- vately. There appeared a great solemnity and some concern and affection among the Indians belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting among those who came with me. Numbers of the Indians here seemed 330 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. to have their prejudices and aversion to Christianity removed; and ap- peared well disposed and inclined to hear the word of (lod. My heart was comforted and refreshed, and my soul filled with longings for the conversion of these poor Indians. " Feb. 20. Preached to a small assembly of High Dutch people who had seldom heard the gospel preached, and were some of them at least very ignorant ; but numbers of them have lately been put upon an inquiry after the way of salvation with thoughtfulness. They gave wonderful at- tention ; and some of them were much affected under the word, and after- wards said, as I was informed, that they never had been so much en- lightened about the way of salvation in their whole lives before. They requested me to tarry with them, or come again and preach to them. It grieved me that I could not comply with their request. I could not but be affected with their circumstances ; for they were as ' sheep not hav- ing ?. shepherd,' and some of them appeared under sor.ie degree of dis- tress for sin ; standing in peculiar need of the assistance of an experienced spiritual guide. God was pleased to support and refresh my spirits by affording me assistance this day, and so hopeful a prospect of success. I returned home rejoicing and blessing the name of the Lord ; found free- dom and sweetness afterward in secret prayer and had my soul drawn out for dear friends. Oh how blessed a thing it is to labor for God faithfully and with encouragement of success I Blessed be the Lord for- ever and ever for the assistance and comfort granted this day I " Feb. 21. Preached to a number of people, many of them Low Dutch. Several of the fore-mentioned High Dutch people attended the sermon, though eight or ten miles distant from their houses. Numbers of the Indians also, belonging to these parts, came of their own accord with my people from Cross weeksung, to the meeting. There were two in particu- lar, who though the last Sabbath they opposed and ridiculed Christian- ity, now behaved soberly. My soul was refreshed and comforted ; and I could not but bless God, who had enabled me in some good measure to be faithful the day past. Oh how sweet it is to be spent and worn out for God. " Feb. 22. Preached to the Indians. They appeared more free from prejudice and more cordial to Christianity than before ; and some of them appeared affected with divine truths. My spirits were much sup- ported though my bodily strength was much wasted. Oh that God would be gracious to the souls of these poor Indians ! God has been very gracious to me this week. He has enabled me to preach every day ; anJ has given me some assistance and encouraging prospect of success in almost every sermon. Blessed be his name ! Several of the white peo- ple have been awakened this week ; and numbers of the Indians much MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 221 ti people who ;hem at least on an inquiry wonderful at- )rcl, and after- I so much cn- )e£ore. They 1 to them. It could not but sheep not hav- degree of dis- an experienced my spirits by t of success. I d ; found free- ny soul drawn labor for God ; the Lord for- day ! :m Low Dutch. Id the sermon, umbers of the [accord with my two in particu- uled Christian- forted; and I lod measure to and worn out cured of prejudices and jealousies which they had conceived against Christianity, and seem to be re.illy awakened. " Lorifs day, Feb. 23. Preached to the Indians from John vi. 35-37. After public service discoursed particularly with several of thcni, and invited them to go down to Crossweeksung, and tarry there at least for some time ; knowing that they would then be free from the scoffs and temptations of the opposing Pagans, as well as in the way of hearing divine truths discoursed of both in public and priv.itc. Obtained a promise of some of them that they would speedily pay us a visit, and at- tend some farther instructions. They seemed to be considerably en- lightened, and much freed from their prejudices against Christianity. But it is much to be feared that their prejudices will revive again, unless they can enjoy the means of instruction here, or be removed when they may be under such advantages, and out of the way of their pagan ac- quaintances." The next day Brainerd left the Forks of the Delaware to return to Crossweeksung, and spent the whole week till Sat- urday in his journey. He preached on the way every day except one ; and was several times greatly assisted, and had much inward comfort and earnest longings to fill up all his time in the service of God. He utters such expressions as these after preaching : " Oh that I may be enabled to plead the cause of God faithfully to my dying moment ! Oh how sweet it would be to spend myself wholly for God and his cause, and to be freed from selfish motives in my labors! " '''March. I. [At Crossweeksung,] Catechised in my ordinary method. Was pleased and refreshed to see them answer the questions proposed to them with such remarkable readiness, discretion, and knowledge. Toward the close of my discourse divine truths made considerable impressions upon the audience, and produced tears and sobs in some under concern ; and more especially a sweet and humble melting in several, who I have rea- son to hope were truly gracious. ''' Lord's day y March 2. Preached from John xv. 16. The assembly appeared not so lively in their attention as usual, nor so much affected with divine truths in general as has been common. Some of my people who went up to the Forks of Delaware with me, being now returned, were accompanied by two of the Indians belonging to the Forks, who had promised me a speedy visit. May the Lord meet with them here. They can scarcely go into a house now but they will meet with Christ- tain conversation, whereby it is to be hoped they may be both instructed and awakened. 222 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. " Discoursed to the Indians again in the afternoon, am. observed among tlicin some animation and cngagcdness in divine service, though not equal to what has often appeared here. I know of no assembly of Christians, where there seems to be so much of the presence of God, where brotherly love so much prevails, and where I should take so much delight in the public worship of God in general, as in my own congrega- tion ; although not more than nine months ago they were worshi|)ping devils and dumb idols under the power of pagan darkness and super- stition. Amazing change this ! effected by nothing less than divine power and grace. This is the doing of the Lord, and it is justly marvel- lous in our eyes," 'J'he next four days were spent in great bodily weakness, but he spealcs of some seasons of considerable ii.ward com- fort. " March 5. Spent some time just at evening in prayer, singing, and discoursing to my people upon divine things ; and observed some agree- able tenderness and affection among them. Their present situation is so compact and commodious, that they are easily and quickly called to- gether with only the sound of a conkshell, (a shell like that of a peri- winkle), so that they have frequent opportunities of attending religious exercises publicly. This seems to be a great means, under God, of keep- ing alive the impressions of divine things in their minds. " March 6. \ I walked alone in the evening, and enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer beyond what I have of late enjoyed. My soul re- joiced in my pilgrim state ; and I was delighted with the thoughts of laboring and enduring hardness for God ; felt some longing desires to preach the gospel to dear immortal souls; and confided in God, that he would be with me in my work, and that he never would leave nor for- sake me to the end of my race. Oh ! may I obtain mercy of God to be faithful to my dying moment.4-March 7. In the afternoon went on with my work with freedom and cheerfulness, God assisted me, and enjoyed comfort in the evening. '* March 8. Catechised in the evening. My people answered the questions proposed to them well. I can perceive their knowledge in re- ligion increases daily. And what is still more desirable, the divine in- fluence which has been so remarkable among them; appears still to con- tinue in some good rheasure. The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly this evening. Some who I have good reason to think are Christians indeed, were melted with a sense of divine goodness, and their own barrenness and ingratitude, and seemed to hate themselves, as one of them afterwards expressed it. Convictions also appeared to be revived in several instances ; and divine truths were attended with MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. 223 yed sweetness My soul re- thoughts of ing desires to 1 (lod, that he eavc nor for- of God to be went on with e, and enjoyed answered the owledge in ra- the divine in- irs still to con- d to be in the to think are goodness, and .te themselves, ;o appeared to attended with such influence upon the assembly in general, that it might justly be called an evening of divine power. " Lord's day, March g. Preached from I^uke x. 38-42. The word of God was attended with power and energy upon the audience. Num- bers were affected, and concerned to obtain the one thing needful. Several who have given good evidence of being truly gracious, were much affected with a want of spirituality, and saw the need fhcy stood in of growing in grace. The greater part of those who had been under any impressions of divine things in times past, seemed now ti> have those im- pressions revived. In the afternoon proposed to have catechised in my usual method. liut while wc were engaged in the first prayer in the Indian language, as usual, a great part of the assembly was so nuich moved and affected with divine things, that I thought it seasonable and proper to omit the proposing of questions for that time, and to insist upon the most practical truths. I accordingly did so ; making a further improvement of the passage of Scripture on which I had discoursed in the former part of the day. There appeared to be a powerful divine in- fluence in the congregation. Several who, as I have reason to think, arc truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own barrenness and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Redeemer, that they looked on him as pierced by themselves, and mourned, yea, som>> of them were in bitterness as for a firstborn. Some awakened sinners also appeared to be in anguish of soul to obtain an interest in Christ ; so that there was a great mourning in the assembly; many heavy groans, sobs, and tears J and one or two newly come among us, were considerably awakened. "March 10. Towards night the Indians met together, of their own accord, and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things among them- selves; at which time there was much affection among them. Some who are hopefully gracious, appeared to be melted with divine things ; and some others seemed much concerned for their souls. Perceiving their engagement and affection in religious exercises, I went among them, and prayed, and gave a word of exhortation ; and observed two or three some- what affected and concerned, who scarce ever appeared to be under any religious impressions before. It seemed to be a day and evening of divine power. Numbers retained the warm impressions of divine things which had been made upon their minds the day before. " My soul was refreshed with freedom and enlargement, and I hope the lively exercise of faith in secret prayer this night. My will was sweetly resigned to the divine will ; my hopes respecting the enlargement of the kingdom of Christ somewhat raised ; and I could commit Zion's cause to God as his own." On Tuesday he speaks of some sweetness and spiritual-ity 224 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. in Christian conversation. On Wednesday, complains that he enjoyed not much comfort and satisfaction through the day, because he did but little for God. On Thursday, spent a considerable time in company on a special occasion, but in perplexity, because without salutary religious conversation. " March 14. Was visitctl by a considerable number of my people and spent some time in religious exercises with them. — March 1 5. In the evening catechised. My people answered the questions put to thnni with surprising readiness and judgment, There appeared some warmth, and a feeling sense of divine things among those who I have reason to hope are real Christians, while I was discoursing upon peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghost. These seemed quickened and enlivened in divine scr^'ice, though there was not so much appearance of concern among those whom I have reason to think in a Christless state." In the former part of the week following he was very ill, and under great dejection ; being rendered unserviceable by his illness, and fearing that he should never be serviceable any more ; and therefore exceedingly longed for death. But afterwards he was more encouraged, and life appeared more desirable ; because, as he says, he " had a Jttle dawn of hope that he might be useful in the world." In the latter part of this week he was somewhat relieved of his illness in the use of means prescribed by his physician. " Lord's day, March 16. Preached to my congregation from Hob. ii 1-3. Divine truths seemed to have some considerable influence upon some of the hearers, and produced many tears, as well as hea"y sighs and sobs, among those who have given evidccc of being real Christians, and others also. The impressions made upon the audience appeared in general deep and heart-affecting ; not superficial, noisy, and affected. Towards night discoursed again on the Great Salvation. The word was again attended with some power upon the audience. Numbers wept affectionately, and to appearance, unfeignedly ; so that the Spirit of Clod seemed to be moving upon the face of the assembly. Baptized the woman particularly mentioned in my journal of last Lord's day, whu now as well as then apjjeared to be in a devout, humble, and excellent frame of mind. My house being thronged with my people in the evening, I spent the timr in religious exerc'ses with them, until my nature was almost spent. They are so unwearied in religious exercises, and insatiable in their tliirsting after Christian knowledge, that I can sometimes scarcely avoid laboring so as greatly to exhaust my strength and spirits. BV MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. 225 " March 19. Several of the persons who went with me to the Forks of Delaware in February last, having been detained there by the danger- ous illness of one of their company, returned home this day. Whereupon mv people generally met together of their own accord, in order to spend some time in religious exercises ; and especially to give thanks to God for his preserving goodness to those who had been absent from them for several weeks, and recovering mercy to him who had been sick ; and that he had now returned them all in safety. As I was then absent, they desired my schoolmaster to assist them in carrying on their religious solemnity ; who tells me that they appeared engaged and affectionate in repeated prayer, singing, etc. " Rhirch 22. Catechised in my usual method in the evening. My people answered questions to my great satisfaction. There appeared nothing very remarkable in the assembly, considering what has been common among us. Although I may justly say, the strict attention, the tenderness and affection, the many tears and heart-affecting sobs, appear- ing in numbers in the assembly would have been very remarkable, were it net that God has made these things common with us, and even with strangers soon after their coming among us from time to time. I am far from thinking that every appearance and particular instance of affection that has been among us has been truly genuine, and purely from a divine influence. I am sensible of the contrary; and doubt not but that there has been some corrupt mixture, some thaff as well as whea* ; especially since religious concern appeared so common and prevalent here. " Lor (Fs day, March 2-^. There being about fifteen strangers, adult persons, come among us in the week past, several of whom had never been in any religious meeting till now, I thought it proper to discourse this day in a manner peculiarly suited to their circumstances and capaci- ties; and accordingly attempted it from Hosea xiii. 9. *0 Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself.' In the forenoon, I opened in the plainest manner I could, man's apostasy and ruined state, after having spoken some things respecting the being and perfections of God, and his creation of man in a state of uprighl.iess and happiness. In the afternoon endeavored to open the glorious provision which God has made for the redemption of apostate creatures, by giving his own dear Son to suffer for them, and satisfy divine justice on their behalf. There was not that affection and concern in the assembly which has been common among us ; although there was a desirable attention app' aring in general, and even in most of the strangers. "Near sunset T felt an uncommon concern upon my mind, especially lor the poor strangers, that God had so much withheld his presence and the powerful influence of his Spirit from the assembly in the exercises of "le day; and thereby withheld from them that degree of conviction which 226 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, T hoped they m'lght have had. In this frame I visited several houses and discoursed with some concern and affection to several persons particu- larly; but without much appearance of success, till I came to a house where several of the strangers were. There the solemn truths on which I discoursed appeared to take effect ; first upon some children, then upon several adult persons who had been somewhat awakened before, and afterwards upon several of the pagan strangers. *' I continued my discourse with some fervency, until almost every one in the house was melted into tears, and divers wept aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this numbers soon gathered from all the houses round about, and so thronged the place that we were obliged to remove to the house where we usually met for public worship. The congregation gathering immediately, and many appearing remarkably affected, I discoursed some time from Luke xix. lo. For the Son of man is come to seek, 'etc. endeavoring to open the mercy, compassion, and concern of Christ for lost, helpless, and undone sinners. There was much visible concern and affection in the assembly, and I doubt not but that a divine influence accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many. There were five or six of the strangers, men and women, who appeared to be considerably awakened; and in particular one very rugged young man, who seemed as if nothing would move him, was now brought to tremble like the jailer, and weep for a long time. " The pagans who were awakened, seemed at once to put off their savage roughness and pagan manners, and became sociable, orderly, and humane in their carriage. When they first came, I exhorted my religious people to take pains with them as they had done with other strangers from time to time, to instruct them in Christianity. But when some of them attempted something of that nature, the strangers would soon rise up and walk to other houses in order to avoid the hearing of such dis- courses. Whereupon some of the serious persons agreed to disperse themselves into the several parts of the settlement, so that wherever the strangers wtiit, they met with some instructive discourse and warm addresses respecting their salvation. But now there was no need of using policy in order to get an opportunity of conversing with some of them about their spiritual concerns ; for they were so far touched with a sen.-e of their perishing state, as made them voluntarily yield to the closest addresses which were made them respecting their sin and misery, their need of an acquaintance with, and interest in the great Redeemer. "March 24. Numbered the Indians to see how many souls God had gathered together here since my coming into these parts, and found there were now about 130 persons together, old and young. Sundry of those who are my stated hearers, perhaps to the number of 15 or 20 were absent at this season. If all had been together, the number would now have MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 227 been very considerable ; especially considering how few were together at my first coming into this part of the country, the whole number then not amounting to ten persons. " My people were out this day with the design of clearing some of their land, above fifteen miles distant from this settlement, in order to their settling there in a compact form, v»rhere they might be under the advantages of attending the public worship of God, of having their children taught in a school, and at the same time have a conveniency for planting; their land in the place of our present residence being of little or no value for that purpose. The design of their settling thus in a body, and cultivating their lands, of which they have done very little in their pagan state, being of such necessity and importai to their religious interest, as well as worldly comfort, I thought it proper to call them to- gether, and show them the duty of laboring with faithfulness and industry, and that they must not now ' be slothful in business,' as they had ever been in their pagan state. I endeavored to press the importance of their being laborious, diligent, and vigorous in the prosecution of their busi- ness ; especially at the present juncture, the season of planting being now near, in order to their being in a capacity of living together, and enjoying the means of grace and instruction. Having given them directions for their work, which they very much wanted, as well as for their bnhavior in divers respects, I explained, sang, and endeavored to inculcate upon them the cxxviith Psalm, common metre, Dr. Watts' version; and having recommended them, and the design of their going forth, to God, by prayer with them, I dismissed them to their business. " After the Indians were gone to their work, to clear their lands, I re- tired by myself, and poured out my soul to God, that he would smile on their feeble beginnings, and that he would settle an Indian town , which might be a mountain of holiness. I found my soul much refreshed in these petitions, and much enlarged for Zion's interest, and for numbers of dear friends in particular. My sinking spirits were revived and raised ; and I felt animated in the service to which God has called me. This was the dearest hour I have enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found an encouraging hope that something would be done for God ; and that God would use and help me in his work. O how sweet were the thoughts of laboring for God, when I fell any spirit and courage, and had any hope that I ever should be succeeded. ' " In the evening read and expounded to those of my people who were yet at home, and to the strangers newly con^e, the substance of the third chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed to melt under the word ; especi- ally while I was discoursing upon ver, 19. * Repent ye, therefore, and be converted,' etc. Several of the str.angers also were affected. When I asked them afterwards : Whether they did not now feel that their 228 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. hearts were wicked as I had taught them ; one of them replied, * Yes, she felt it now.' Although before she came here, upon hearing that I taught the Indians that their hearts were all bad by nature, and needed to be changed and made good by the power of God ; she had said, ' Her heart was not wicked, and she had never done anything that was bad in her life.' This, indeed, seems to be the case with them, I think, univer- sally, in their pagan state. They seem to have no consciousness of sin and guilt, unless they can charge themselves with some gross acts of sin contrary to the commands of the second table." The next day his schoolmaster was '^-^ken sick and he spent a great part of the remainder of this week in attending him. In his weak state, this was an almost overbearing burden ; he being obliged constantly to wait upon him from day to day, and to lie on the floor at night. His spirits sunk in a considerable degree, with his bodily strength, under this burden. " March 27. Discoursed to a number of my people in one of their houses in a more private manner. Inquired particularly into their spiri- tual states, in order to see what impressions they were under. Laid be- fore them the marks of a legenerate, as well as of an unregenerate state ; and endeavored to suit and direct my discourse to them severally, accord- ing as I apprehended their states to be. There was a considerable num- ber gathered together before I finished my discourse, and several seemed much affected while I was urging the necessity and infinite importance of getting into a renewed state. I find particular and close dealing with souls in private, is often very successful. " March 29. In the evening catechised as usual upon Saturday. Treated upon the benefits which believers receive from Christ at death. The questions were answered with great readiness and propriety ; and those who I have reason to think, are the dear people of God, were in general sweetly melted. There appeared such a liveliness and vigor in their attendance upon the word of God, and such eagerness to be made par- takers of the benefits mentioned, that they seemed not only to be ' look- ing for,' but ' hasting to the coming of the day of God.' Divine truths seemed to distil upon the audience with a gentle, but melting efficacy, as the refreshing ' rhowers upon the new mown grass.' The assembly, in general, as well as those who appear truly religious, were affected with some brief accounts of the blessedness of the godly at death ; and most of them then discovered an affectionate inclination to cry. ' Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his \ ' although MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 229 m replied, 'Yes, 1 hearing that I •e, and needed to i had said, ' Her ; that was bad in 1, 1 think, univer- sciousness of sin gross acts of sin 1 sick and he k in attending t overbearing ipon him from is spirits sunk 5th, under this ; in one of their ■ into their spiri- under. Laid be- regenerate state ; severally, accord- )nsiderable num- d several seemed te importance of >se dealing with upon Saturday. Christ at death. propriety; and af God, were in ss and vigor in s to be made par- mly to be ' look- Divine truths king efficacy, as "he assembly, in re affected with eath ; and most , ' Let me die his;' although many were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart that is neces- sary to that blessed end. " Lorifs day, March 30. Discoursed from Matt. xxv. 31-40. There was a very considerable moving, and affectionate melting in the assem- bly. I hope that there wei-e some real, deep, and abiding impres- sions of divine things made upon the minds of many. There was one aged man, newly come among us, who appeared to be considerally awakened, that never was touched with any concern for his soul before, in the evening, catechised. There was not that tenderness and melting engagement among God's people, which appeared the evening before, and many other times. They answered the questions distinctly and well, and were devout and attentive in divine service. ^^ March 31. Called my people together as I had done the Monday evening before, and discoursed to them again on the necessity and im- portance of laboring industriously in order to their living together, and enjoying the means of grace, etc. Having engaged in a solemn prayer to God among them for a blessing upon their attempts, I dismissed them to their work. Numbers of them both men and women, seemed to offer themselves willingly to this service ; and some appeared affectionately concerned that God might go with them, and begin their little town for them ; that by his blessing it might be a place comfortable for them and theirs, with regard both to procuring the necessaries of life, and to attending on the worship of God. — Towards night, I enjoyed some sweet meditations on these words : * It is good for me to draw near to God.' My soul, I think, had some sweet sense of what is intended in those words." The next day he was extremely busy in taking care of the schoolmaster and in some other necessary affairs, which greatly diverted him from what he looked upon as his proper business ; but yet he speaks of comfort and refreshment at some time of the day. " April 2. I was somewhat exercised with a spiritual frame of mind ; but was a little relieved and refreshed in the evening with meditation alone in the woods. But alas ! my days pass away as the chaff ; it is but little I do, or can do, that turns to any account ; and it is my constant misery and burden, that I am so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh that I were a pure spirit ; that I might be active for God ! This I think more than anything else, makes me long that this corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put on immortality. God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of death, which impede my service from him." 230 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. MM 1^ on Ui " /Jf/r/7 4. Spent the most of the day in writing on Revelation xxii. 17. ' And whosever will,' etc. Enjoyed some freedom and encourage- ment in my work ; and found some comfort in prayer. — April 5, ' Catechised in the evening. There appeared to be some affection and fervent engagement in divine service through the assembly in general ; especially towards the conclusion of my discourse. After public worship, a number of those, who I have reason to think, are truly religious, came to mj- house, and seemed eager for some further entertainment upon divine things. While I was conversing with them about their scriptural exercises ; observing to them, that God's work in the hearts of all his children, was for substance the same ; and that their trials and tempta- tions were also alike ; and showing the obligations such were under to love one another in a peculiar manner ; — they seemed to be melted into tenderness and affection towards each other, I thought that that particu- lar token of their being the disciples of Christ, viz. of their having love one towards another, had scarcely ever appeared more evident than at this time. — After public worship, a number of my dear Christian Indians came to my house ; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul. My heart was knit to them; and I cannot say I have felt such a sweet and fervent love to the brethren, for some time past. I saw in them appearances of the same love. This gave me somewhat of a view of the heavenly state ; and particularly of that part of the happiness of heaven which consists in the communion of saints ; and this was affecting to me. ^' LorcT s day, April 6. Preached from Matt. vii. 21-23, 'Not ^^^''y one that saith into me, Lord, Lord,' etc. There were considerable effects of the word visible in the audience, and such as were very desirable ; an earnest attention, a great solemnity, many tears and heavy sighs, which were modestly suppressed in a considerable measure, and appeared un- affected and without any indecent commotion of the passions. Numbers of the religious people were put upon serious and close examination of their spiritual state, by hearing that 'not every one that saith to Christ, Lord, Lord, shall enter into his kingdom.' Some expressed fears lest they had deceived themselves, and taken up a false hope, because they found they had done so little of the will of his Father who is in heaven. " There was one man brought under very great and pressing concern for his soul ; which appeared more especially after his retirement from public worship. That, which he says gave him his great uneasiness, was not so much any particular sin, as that he had never done the will of God at all, but had sinned continually, and so had no claim to the kingdom of Heaven. In the afternoon, I opened to them the discipline of Christ, in his Church, and the method in which offenders are to be dealt with. At which time the religious people were much affected ; especially when they heard that the offender continuing obstinate, must finally be esteemed and MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. 231 Revelation xxii. and encouragc- aycr. — April 5. le affection and ibly in general ; public worship, religious, came rtainment upon ; their scriptural bearts of all his als and tempta- , were under to I be melted into hat that particu- leir having love evident than at !hristian Indians , My heart was and fervent love jearances of the venly state ; and h consists in the -23, 'Not every siderable effects very desirable ; avy sighs, which id appeared un- 3ns. Numbers of mination of their to Christ, Lord, irs lest they had they found they en. Dressing concern retirement from uneasiness, was the will of God the kingdom of ine of Christ, in dealt with. At cially when they je esteemed and treated * as a heathen man,' and pagan, who has no part nor lot among God's visible people. Of this they seemed to have the most awful ap- prehensions ; a state of heathenism, out of which they were so lately brought, appearing very dreadful to them. After public worship, I visited several houses, to see how they spent the remainder of the Sabbath, and to treat with them solemnly on the great concerns of their souls. The Lord seemed to smile upon my private endeavors, and to make these particular and personal addresses more effectual upon some than my public discourses. " April 7. Discoursed to my people in the evening, from i Cor. xi. 23 -26. ' For I have received of the Lord,' etc. Endeavored to open to them the institution, nature and ends of the Lord's Supper, as well as of the qualifications and preparations necessary to the right participations of that ordinance. Numbers appeared much affected with the love of Christ, manifested in his making this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season when himself was just entering upon his sharpest suf- ferings." On Tuesday he went to the meeting of the Presbytery ap- pointed at Elizabethtown. In his way thither he enjoyed some sweet meditations. But after he came there, he was, as he expresses it, " very vapory and melancholy, and under an awful gloom which oppressed his mind." This continued until Saturday evening ; when he began to have some relief and encouragement. He spent the Sabbath at Staten Island ; where he preached to an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable refreshment and comfort, both in public and private. In the evening he returned to Elizabethtown. " April \^. My spirits this day were raised and refreshed, and my mind composed ; so that I was in a comfortable frame of soul most of the day. In the evening, my head was clear, my mind serene ; I enjoyed sweetness in secret prayer and meditation on Psalm Ixxiii. 28. ' But it is good for me to draw near to God,' etc. O how free, how comfortable, cheerful, and yet solemn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed from those damps and melancholy glooms under which I often labor. Blessed be the Lord, I find myself relieved in this respect. " April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality ; and it was my bur- den that I could do no more for God. O, my barrenness in my daily af- fliction and heavy load ! O how precious is time, and how it pains me to see it slide away, while I do so little to any good purpose. O that God would make me more fruitful and spiritual. S32 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, ui "AfriliT- Enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in medi- tation, and composure in my studies. Spent some time in writing in the forenoon. In the afternoon spent some time in conversation with several dear ministers. In the evening preached from Psalm Ixxiii. 28, * But it IS good for me to draw near to God.' God helped me to feel the truths of my texts both in the first prayer and in the sermon. I was en- abled to pour out my soul to God with great freedom, fervency and affec- tion ; and, blessed be the Lord, it was a comfortable season to me. I was enabled to speak with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness : and divine truths seemed to fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted for the dear assembly ; and I loved everybody.in it ; and scarcely ever felt more love to immortal souls in my life. My soul cried, ' O that the dear creatures might be saved I O that God would have mercy upon them ! ' ** Lord's day, April 20. Discoursed, both forenoon and afternoon from Luke xxiv. explaining most of the chapter, and making remarks upon it. There was a desirable attention in the audience ; though there was not so much appearance of affection and tenderness among them as had been usual. Our meeting was very full ; there being sundry strangers present who had never been with us before. Enjoyed some freedom, and, I hope, exercise of faith, in prayer in the morning, especially when I came to pray for Zion. I was free from that gloomy discouragement which so often oppresses my mind ; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion's pros- perity, and the enlargement of the dear kingdom of the great Redeemer. that his kingdom might come I " In the evening catechised. My people answered the questions pro- posed to them readily and distinctly ; and I could perceive that they ad- vanced in their knowledge of the principles of Christianity. There ap- peared an affectionate melting in the assembly at this time. Several, who 1 trust are truly religious, were refreshed and quickened, and seemed by their discourse and behavior after public worship to have their * hearts knit together in love.' This was a sweet and blessed season, like many others with which my poor people have been favored in months past. God has caused this little fleece to be repeatedly wet with the blessed dew of his divine grace, while all the earth around has been comparatively dry. " April 21. Was composed and comfortable in mind most of the day and was mercifully freed from those gloomy damps with which I am fre- quently exercised. Had freedom and comfort in prayer several times; and especially had some rising hopes of Zion's enlargement and pros- perity. Oh, how refreshing were those hopes to my soul ! Oh, that the kingdom of the dear Lord might come. Oh, that the poor Indians might quickly be gathered in great numbers I MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. 233 " April 22. My mind was remarkably free this day from melancholy damps and glooms, and animated in my work. I fonnd such fresh vigor and resolution in the service of God, that the mountains seemed to be- come a plain before me. O blessed be God, for an interval of refresh- ment and fervent resolution in my Lord's work! In the evening, my soul was refreshed in secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine bless- ings ; especially for the church of God, and his interest among my own people, and for dear friends in remote places. Oh, that Zion might pros- per, and precious souls be brought home to God I '■^ April 25. Of late I apprehended that a number of persons in my congregation were proper subjects of the ordinance of the Lord's supper, and that it might be seasonable speedily to administer it to them ; and having taken advice of some of the reverend correspondents in this solemn affair, I accordingly proposed and appointed the next Lord's day, with leave of divine providence, for the administration of this ordinance ; and this day, as preparatory thereto, was set apart for solemn fasting and prayer. The design of this preparatory solemnity was to implore the blessing of God upon our renewing covenant with him, and with one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in love and Christian fel- lowship, and to entreat that his presence might be with us in our designed approach to his table ; as well as to humble ourselves before God on ac- count of the apparent withdrawment, at least in a measure, of that blessed influence which has been so prevalent upon persons of all ages among us ; as also on account of the rising appearance of carelessness, and vanity, and vice among some, who some time since appeared to be touched and affected with divine truths, and brought to some sensibility of their miserable and perishing state by nature. It was also designed that we might importunately pray for the peaceable settlement of the Indians together in a body ; that they might be a commodious congrega- tion for the worship of God ; and that God would blast and defeat all the attempts that were, or might be, made against that pious design.* " The solemnity was observed and seriously attended, not only by those who proposed at the Lord's table, but by the whole congregation universally. In the former part of the day, I endeavored to open to my people the nature and design of a fast, as I had attempted more briefly to do before, and to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity. In the afternoon I insisted upon the special reasons there were for our en- gaging in these solemn exercises at this time ; both in regard of the need "* There was at this time a terrible clamor raised against the Indians in various places in the country, and insinuations as though I was training them up to cut people's throats. Numbers wished to have them banished from these parts, and some gave out great words in order to fright and deter them from settling upon the best and most convenient tract of their own lands ; threatening to trouble them in the law; pretending a claim to theas lands themselves, although never purchased of the Indians." ^B^n 234 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. we stood in of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for that sacred ordinance upon which some of us were proposing, with leave of divine providence speedily to attend ; and also in respect of the manifest decline of (iod's work here, as to the effectual conviction and conver- sion of sinners ; there having been few of late deeply awakened out of a state of security. The worship of God was attended with great solemnity and reverence, with much tenderness and many tears, by those who ap- peared to be truly religious ; and there was some appearance of divine power upon those who had been awakened some time before, and who were still under concern. " After repeated prayer, and attendance upon the word of God, I pro- posed to the religious people, with as much brevity and plainness as I could, the substance of the doctrine of the Christian faith, as I had for- merly done previous to their baptism; and had their renewed cheerful as- sent to it. I then led them to a solemn renewal of their baptismal covenant; wherein they had explicitly and publicly given up themselves to God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their God ; and at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, their idolatrous and superstitious practices ; solemnly engaging to take the Word of God, so far as it was or might be made known to them, for the rule of their lives; promising to walk together in love, to watch over themselves and one another, to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge the relative duties incumbent on them respectively, etc. This solemn trans- action was attended with much gravity and seriousness ; and at the same time with the utmost readiness, freedom and cheerfulness ; and a religious union and harmony of soul seemed to crown the whole solemnity. I could not but think in the evening, that there had been manifest tokens of the divine presence with us in all the several services of the day ; though it was also manifest that there was not that concern among Christ- less souls which has often appeared there. " April 26. Toward noon prayed with a dying child, and gave a word of exhortation to the bystanders, to prepare for death ; which seemed to take effect upon some. In the afternoon discoursed to my people from Matthew xxvi. 26-30, of the author, the nature, and designs of the Lord's supper; and endeavored to point out the worthy receivers of that o:di- nance. The religious people were affected, and even melted with divine truths, — with a view of the dying love of Christ. Several others, who had been for some months under conviction of their perishing state, ap- peared now to be much moved with concern, and afresh engaged in seek- ing after an interest in Christ ; although I cannot say that the word of God appeared so quick and powerful, so sharp and piercing to the assem- bly as it had sometimes formerly done. Baptized two adult persons; both serious and exemplary in their lives, and I hope truly religious. One of MEMOIRS OF PRAINERD, 935 them was the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6th instant ; will), althoiigli he was greatly distressed, because * he had never done tiic will of God,' has since, it is hoped, obtained spiritual comfort upon good grounds. *' In the evening I catechised those, who were designed to partake of the Lord's supper the next day, upon the institution, nature and nd of that ordinance ; and had abundant satisfaction respecting their rinal knowledge and fitness in that respect for an attendance upon it. They likewise appeared in general to have an affecting sense of the solemnity of this sacred ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own un- worthiness to approach to God in it; and to be earnestly concerned that they might be duly prepared for an attendance upon it. — Their hearts were full of love, one toward another, and that was the frame of mind which they seemed concerned to maintain and bring to the Lord's table with them. In the singing and prayer after catechising, there appeared an aggreeable tenderness and melting among them ; and such tokens of brotherly love and affection, as would even constrain one to say * Lord, it is good to be here ; ' it is good to dwell where such an heavenly influence distils. " Lord's day, April 27. Preached from Tit. ii. 14, ' Who gave himself for us,' etc. The word of God at this time, was attended with some ap- pearance of divine power upon the assembly; so that the attention and gravity of the audience were remarkable ; and especially towards the con- conclusion of the exercise, divers persons were much affected. Admin- istered the sacrament of the Lord's supper to 23 persons of the Indians, the number of the men and women being nearly equal ; several others to the number of five or six, bemg now absent at the Forks of Delaware, who would otherwise h?ve communed with us. The ordinance was at- tended with great solemnity, and with a most desirable tenderness and affection. It was remarkable that in the season of the performance of the sacramental actions, especially in the distribution of the bread, they seemed to be affected in a most lively manner, as if Christ had been really cruci- fied before them. The words of the institution, when repeated and en- larged upon in the season of the administration, seemed to meet with the simo reception, to be entertained with the same free and full belief and af- fectionate engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ himself had been present, and had personally spoken to them. The affections of the communicants, although considerably raised, were, notwithstanding, agree- ably regulated and kept within proper bounds. So that there was a sweet, gentle, and affectionate melting without any indecent or boisterous com- motion of the passions. " Having rested sometime after the administration of the sacrament, being extremely tired with the necessary prolixity of the work, I walked 23^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. from house to house, and converserl particularly with most of the com- municants, and found they had been almost universally refreshed at the Lord's table, *as with new wine.' Never did I see such an appearance of Christian love among any people in all my life. It was so remarkable, that one might well have cried with an agreeable surprise, ' Heboid how they love one another.' I think there could be no greater token of mu- tual affection among the people of God, in the early days of Christianity, than what now appeared here. The sight was so desirable, and so well becoming the gospel, that nothing less could l>e said of it than that it was 'the doing of the Lord,' the genuine operation of Ilim, 'who is Love.' "Toward night discoursed again on the forcmentioncd text. Tit. ii. 14; and insisted on the immediate end and design of Christ's death, viz.: That he might redeem his people from all iniquity etc. This appeared to be a season of divine power among us. The religious people were much re- freshed, and seemed remarkably tender and affectionate, full of love, joy, and peace, and desirous of being completely * redeemed from all initjuity;' so that some of them afterwards told me that ' they had never felt the like before.' Convictions also appeared to be revived in many instances ; and several persons were awakened, whom I had never observed under any religious impressions before. " Such was the influence which attended our assembly, and so un- speakably desirable the frame of mind which many enjoyed in divine .ser- vice, that it seemed almost grievous to conclude the public worship. The congregation, when dismissed, although it was then almost dark, ap- peared loath to leave the place and employments which had been rendered so dear to them by the benefits enjoyed, while a blessed quickening in- fluence distilled upon them. Upon the whole, I must say, I had great satisfaction relative to the administration of this ordinance in various re- spects. I have abundant reason to think, that those who came to the Lord's table had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of the nature and design of the ordinance, and that they acted with understanding in what th .y did. ' ■ This competency of doctrinal knowledge, together with their grave a id decent attendance upon the ordinance, their affectionate melting under it, and the sweet and Christian frame of mind which they discovered after it, gave me great satisfaction respecting my administration of it to them. O, what a sweet and blessed season was this ! God himself, I am per- suaded, was in the midst of his people, attending on his own ordinance. I doubt not but many, in the conclusion of the day, could say with their whole hearts, ' Verily, a day thus spent in God's house, is better than a thousand elsewhere.' There seemed to be but one heart among the pious people. The sweet union, harmony and endearing love and tenderness subsisting among them was, I thought, the most lively em- blem of the heavenly world, which I had ever seen. MEMOIRS OF BRAFNERD. m " Af their more convenient enjoyment of the gospel and other means of instruction, as well as of the comforts of life; I this day visited them; being now obliged to board with an English family at some distance from them ; and preached to them in the forenoon from Mark. iv. 5. ' And some fell upon stony ground,' etc. Endeavored to show them the reason there was to fear, lest many promis^ing appearances and hopeful beginnings in religion might prove abortive, like the seed dropped upon stony places. In the afternoon discoursed upon Rom. viii. 9. ' Now if any man have not the spirit of Christ, he is none of his.' I have reason to think this discourse was peculiarly seasonable, and that it had a good effect upon some of the hearers. Spent some hours afterwt rds in private conference with my people, and labored to regulate some things which I apprehended amiss among some of them. "^/flj/5. Visited my people again, and took care of their worldly concerns ; giving them directions relating to their business. I daily dis- cover more and more of what importance it is likely to be to their re- ligious interests, that they become laborious and industrious, acquainted with the affairs of husbandry, and able in a good measure to raise tlie necessaries and comforts of life within themselves; for their present method of living greatly exposes them to temptations of various kinds. — May 6. Enjoyed some spirit and courage in my work ; was in a good measure free from melancholy ; blessed be God for freedom from this death. "May 7. Spent most of the day in writing as usual. Enjoyed some freedom in my work. Was favored with some comfortable meditations this day. In the evening was in a sweet composed frame of mind : was pleased and delighted to leave al! with God respecting myself for time and eterr.ity, and respecting the people of my charge, and dear friends. Had no doubt but that God would take care of me and of his own interest among my people ; and was enabled to use freedom in prayer as a child with a tender father. O, how sweet is such a frame ! " May 8. In the evening, was somewhat refreshed with divine things, and enjoyed a tender melting frame in secret prayer, wherein my soul was drawn out for the interests of Zion, and comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments; I frit almost loath to go to bed, and grieved that sleep was necessary. However I lay down with a tender reverential fear of God sensible that his favor is life, and his smiles better than all that earth can boast of, infinitely better than life itself. " May 9. Preached from John v. 40, ' And yc will not come to me,' MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 239 41 come to me, etc., in the open wilderness; the Indians having as yet no house for public worship in this place, nor scarcely any shelter for themselves. Divine truths made considerable impressions upon the audience, and it was a season of great solemnity, tenderness and affection. " May 10. Rode to AUen's-tovvn to assist in the administration of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon, preached from Titus ii, 14 : Who gave himself for us, etc. God was pleased to carry me through, and to gr.mt me some freedom ; and yet to deny me that enlargement and power for which I longed. In the evening my soul mourned, and could not but mourn, that I had treated so excellent a subject in so defective a manner ; that I had borne so broken a testimony f'jr so worthy and glorious a Re- deemer. If my discourse had met with the utmost applause from all the world, it would not have given me any satisfaction. O, it grieved me to think, that I had no more holy warmth and fervency, that I had been no more melted in discoursing of Christ's death and the end and design of it ! Afterwards enjoyed some freedom and fervency in family and secret prayer, and longed much for the presence of God to attend his word and ordinances the next day. " Lor (Ps liny, May x\. Assisted in the administration of the Lord's supper ; but enjoyed but little enlargement ; was grieved and sunk with some things, which I thought undesirable, etc. In the afternoon went to the house of God, weak and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body, and longed that the people might be entertained and edified with divine truths, and that an honest, fervent testimony might be borne for God; but knew not how it was possible for me to do anything of that kind to any good purpose. Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me assistance both in prayer and preaching. God helped me to wrestle for his presence in prayer, and to tell him that he had promised, * Where two or three are met together in his name, there he would be in the midst of them ; ' and that we were, at least some of us, so met ; and pleaded that for his truth's sake he would be with us. Blessed be God, it was sweet to my soul, thus to plead and rely on God's promises. Discoursed upon Luke ix. 30, 31 : ' And behold there talked with him two men, which were Moses and Elias, who appeared in glory, and spake of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem.' Enjoyed special freedom from the beginning to the end of my discourse without intevrujjtion. Things pertinent to the subject were abundantly presented to my view, and such a fulness of matter, that I scarce knew how to dismiss the vari- ous heads .and particulars I had occasion to touch upon, l^lesscd be the Lord, I was favored with some fervency and power, as well as freedom ; so that the word of God seemed to awaken the attention of a stupid au- ilience to a considerable degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the con- tolations of Ciod, and ;ould with my whole heart say, ' Though there be a4c MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. S no fruit in the vine, etc., yet will I rejoice in the Lord.' After public ser- vice, was refreshed with the sweet conversation of some Christian friends. " May i6. Near night enjoyed some agreeable and sweet conversa- tion with a dear minister ; which was, I trust, blessed to my soul. My heart was warmed, and my soul engaged to live to God ; so that I longed to exert myself with more vigor than ever I had done in his cause ; and those words were quickening to me, ' Herein is my father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit.' O my soul longed, and wished, and prayed to be enabled to live to God with the utmost constancy and ardor ! In the evening God was pleased to shine upon me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after himself ; and I had freedom in supplication for myself. but much more in intercession for others ; so that I was sweetly con- strained to say, ' Lord, use me as thou wilt ; do as thou wilt with me ; but O, promote thine own cause ! Zion is thine ; O visit thine heritage ! Let thy kingdom come ! O let thy blessed interest be advanced in the world!' When I attempted to look to God respecting • my - ^Idly cir- cumstances, and his providential dealings with me relati t •■, settling down in my congregation ; which seems to be necessary, and yet very difficult, and contrary to my fixed intentions for years past, as well as to my disposition, which has been and still is, at times especially, to go forth and spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to place, and gather- ing souls afar off to Jesus the great Redeemer ; I could only say, ' The will of the Lord be done ; it is no matter for me.' The same frame of mind I felt with regard to another important affair, of which I have lately had some serious thoughts. I could say, with the utmost calmness and composure, * Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let me proceed in it ; but, if thou seest it will in any wise hinder my usefulness in thy cause, oh, prevent me from proceeding ; for all I want respecting this world is such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do service ' God in the world.' But, blessed be God! I enjoyed liberty in pv for my dear flock, and was enabled to pour out my soul into the ! o.-. of a tender Father. My heart within me was melted, when I came tu plead for my dear people, and for the kingdom of Christ in general. Oh, how sweet was this evening to my soul ! I knew not how to go to bed ; and when I got to bed, longed for some way to improve time for God to some excellent purpo.se. Bless the Lord, O my soul I ^' May 17. Walked out in the morning, and felt much of the same frame which I enjoyed the evening before; had my heart enlarged in praying for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ, and found 'j ut- most freedom in leaving all my concerns with God, I find di-s-^^ ti ige- ment to be an exceeding hhidrance to my spiritual fervency and aftt^i.on ; but, when God enablta me sensibly to find that I have done something for MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 241 him, this refreshes and animates me, so that I could 1)rcak thrmigh all hardships, and undergo any labors, and nothing seems ttio much either to door to suffer. But oh, what a death it is to strive and, strive ; to be al- ways in a hurry, and yet do nothing, or at least, nothing for God ! Alas, alas, that time flies away, and I do so little for God ! "■ LonVs day, May 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency for my work; God made me to sec that I was a child ; yea, that I was a fool. I dis- coursed both parts of the day from Rev. iii. 20, ' Behold, I stand at the ;loor and knock.' God gave me freedom and power in the latter part of my forenoon's discourse; although, in the former part of it, I felt peevish and provoked with the unmannerly behavior of the white people, who crowded in between my people and nic; which proved a great temptation to me. But blessed be God ! I gjt these shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and was favored with a sweet frame of spirit in the lat- ter part of the exercise ; was full of love, warmth, and tenderness in ad- dressing my dear people. There appears some affectionate melting towards the conclusion of the forenoon e-xercise. and one or two instances of fresh awakening. In the intermission of pub'ic worship I took oc- casion to discourse to numbers, in a more private way, on the kindness and patience of the blessed Redeemer in standing and knocking, in con- tinuing his gracious calls to sinners, who had long neglected and abused his grace ; which seemed to take some effect upon several. " In the afternoon divine truths were attended with solemnity and with some tears ; although there was not that powerful awakening and quicken- ing influence which in times past has been common in our assemblies. The appearance of the audience under divine truths was comparatively discouraging; and I was ready to fear that God was about to withdraw the blessed influence of his Spirit from us. In the evening, I was grieved that I had done so little for God. Oh that I could be * a flame of fire' in the service of my God ! '\^fay 19. Visited and preached to my people from Acts xx. iS, 19, 'And when they were come to him, he said unto them. Ye know from the first day,' etc. and endeavored to rectify their notions about religious affections ; showing them on the one hand the desirableness of religious affection, tenderness, and fervent engagement in the worship and service ff God, when such affection flows from a true spiritual discovery of divine glories, from a just sense of the transcendent excellence and per- fections of the blessed God, — and a view of the glory and loveliness of the great Redeemer; and that such views of divine things will naturally ex- cite us to 'serve the Lord with many tears, with much affection and fer- vency, and yet with all humility of mind.' On the other hand, I observed tlie sinfulness of seeking after high affections immediately and for their own sakes ; that is, of making them the object which our eye and heart 242 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, P CO V3 is first and principally set upon, when the glory of God ought to be that object. Showed them, that if the heart be directly and chiefly fixed on God, and the soul engaged to glorify him, some degree of religious affec- tion will be the effect and attendant of it. But to seek after affection directly and chiefly ; to have the heart principally set upon that ; is to place it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought, that others may take notice of it, and admire us for our spirituality and forwardness in religion, it is then abominable pride ; if for the sake of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then idolatry and self-gratification. Labored also to expose the disagreeableness of those affections, which are sometimes wrought up in persons by the powers of fancy, and their own attempts for that purpose, while I still endeavored to recommend to them that religious affection, fervency, and devotion which ought to attend all our religious exercises, and without which religion will be but an empty name and a lifeless carcase. This appeared to be a r r>nable discourse, and proved very satisfactory to some of the reli- i,. s people, who before were exercised with some difficulties relating to this point. Afterwards took care of, and gave my people directions about their worldly affairs. " May 22. In the evening was in a frame somewhat remarkable. I had apprehended for some days before, that it was the design of Prov- idence that I should settle among my people here, and had in my own mind began to make provision for it, and to contrive means to hasten it, and found my heart somewhat engaged in it, hoping that I might then enjoy more agreeable circumstances of life in s^everal respects ; and yet was never fully determined, never quite pleased with the thoughts of being settled and confined to one place. Nevertheless I seemed to have some freedom in that respec*^ because the congregation with which 1 thought of settling, was one which God had enabled me to gather from among pagans. For I never, since I began to preach, could feel any freedom to enter into other men's labors, and settle down in the ministry where the gospel was preached before. I never could make that appear to be my province. When I felt any disposition to consult my workilv ease and comfort, God has never given me any liberty in this respect, either since, or for some years before, I began to preach. But God having succeeded my labors, and made me instrumental in gathering a church for him among these Indians, I was ready to think it might be his design to give me a quiet settlement, and a stated home of my own. This, con- sidering the late frequent sinking and failure of my spirits, and the need I stood in of some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying con- veniences and opportunities for profitable studies, was not altogether dis- agreeable to me. Although I still wanted to go about far and wide, in order to spread the blessed gospel among the benighted souls far remote, MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 243 ought to be that chiefly fixed on •f religious affec- k after affection upon that ; is to ught, that others and forwardness e of feeling the self-gratification, ctions, which are ^, and their own to recommend on which ought ch religion will )peared to be a ome of the reli- ulties relating to directions about : remarkable. I design of Prov- J had in my own ans to hasten it, lat I might then cspects ; and yet the thoughts of seemed to have )n with which 1 to gather from could fee! any n in the ministiv ake that appear nsult my worldlv in this respect, llut God having lering a church ht be his design i)wn. This, con- ts, and the need of enjoying con- )t altogether dis- far and wide, in souls far remote, yet I never had been so willing to settle in any one place, for more than five years past, as I was in the preceding part of this week. But now these thoughts seemed to be wholly dashed to pieces, not by necessity, but of choice ; for it appeared to me that God's dealings towards me had fitted me for a life of solitariness and hardship, and that I had nothing to lose, nothing to do with earth, and consequently nothing to lose by a total renunciation of it. It appeared to me just right that I should be destitute of house and home,andmany of the comforts of life, which I rejoiced to see (iiiiers of God's people enjoy. At the same time, I saw so much of the ex- cellency of Christ's kingdom, and the infinite desirableness of its advance- ment in the world, that it swallowed up all my other thoughts, and made me willing, yea, even rejoice, to be made a pilgrim or hermit in the wilder- ness to my dying moment, if I might thereby promote the blessed in- terest of the great Redeemer. If ever my soul presented itself to God for his service, without any reserve of any kind, it did so now. The language of my thoughts and disposition now was ' Here I am. Lord, send me ; send me to the ends of the earth ; send me to the rough, the savage pagans of the wilderness; send me from all that is called comfort in earth, or- earthly comfort ; send me even to death itself, if it be but in thy service, and to promote thy kingdom.' " At the same time, I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of worldly comforts, as I ever had; but only saw them infinitely overmatched by the worth of Christ's kingdom, and the i)ropagation of his blessed gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of abode, the tender friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in consequence of such circumstances, appeared as valuable to me, considered absolutely and in themselves, as ever before ; but considered comparatively, they appeared nothing. Compared with the value and preciousness of an en- largement of Christ's kingdom, they vanished as stars before the rising sun. Sure I am, that, although the comfortable accommodations of life appeared valuable and dear to me, yet I did surrender and resign myself, soul and body, to the service of God, and to the promotion of Christ's kingdom; though it should be in the loss of them all, I could not do any other, because I could not will or choose any other. I was constrained, and yet chose, to say, ' Farewell friends and earthly comforts, the dearest of them all, the very dearest, if the Lord calls for it ; adieu, adieu ; I will spend my life, to my latest moments, in caves and dens of the earth, if ' e kingdom of Christ may thereby be advanced.' I found extraordinary ireedom at this time in pouring out my soul to God for his cause ; and especially that his kingdom might be extended among the Indians, far re- mote ; and I had a great and strong hope that God would do it. I con- tinued wrestling with God in prayer for my dea. little flock here ; and more especially for the Indians elsewhere ; as well as for dear friends in one place and another until it was bed time, and I feared I should hinder !44 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. the family. But, O, with what reluctancy did I feel myself obliged to consume time in sleep ! I longed to be as a flame of fire, continually glowing in the divine service, and building up Christ's kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment. " May 23. In the morning, was in the same frame of mind as in the evening before. The glory of Christ's kingdom so much outshone the pleasure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing, though in themselves good and desirable. My soul was melted in secret meditation and prayer ; and I found myself divorced from any part or portion in this world ; so that in those affairs which seemed of the greatest importance to me with respect to the present life, and in those with which the tenderest feelings of the heart are most sensibly connected ; I could only say, 'the will of the Lord be done.' lUit just the same things, which I felt the evening before, I felt now, and found the same freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, for the propagation of the gospel among the Indians, and for the enlargement and spiritual welfare of Zion in general, and my dear friends in particular now, as I did then ; and longed to burn out in one continued flame for God. Retained much of the same frame through the day. In the even- ing I was visited by my brother John Brainerd ; the first visit which I have ever received from any near relative since I have been a missionary Felt the same flame of spirit in the evening, as in the morning ; and found that it was good for me to draw near to God, and leave all my concerns and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refreshed in pouring out my soul for the propagation of the gospel of the Redeemer among the distant tribes of Indians. Blessed be God. If ever I filled up a day with study and devotion, I was enabled so to fill up this day. " Mixy 24. Visited the Indians, and took care of their secular busi- ness, which they are not able to manage themselves, without the con- stant care and advice of others. Afterwards discoursed to some of them particularly about their spiritual concerns. Enjoyed this day somewhat of the same frame of mind which I felt the day before. " LoriPs day, May 35. Discoursed both parts of the day from John xii. 44-48. 'Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, etc' Theie was some degree of divine power attending the word of God. Several wept, and appeared considerably affected, and one, who had long l)een under spiritual trouble, now obtained clearness and comfort, and appeared to rejoice in God her Saviour. It was a day of grace and divine good- ness ; a day wherein something, I trust, was done for the cau.se of God among my people ; a season of comfort and sweetness to numbers of the religious people ; although there was not that influence upon the congre- gation which was common some months ago." MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 245 This week, at least the former part of it, he was in a very weak slate, but yet seems to have been free from melancholy, which often had attended the failing of his bodily strength. He from time to time speaks of comfort and inward refresh- ment this week. ^^ Lord's day, June 1, 1746. Preached both forenoon and afternoon from Matt. xi. 27, 28. The presence of God seemed to be in the as- sembly ; and numbers were considerably melted and affected under divine truths. There was a desirable appearance in the congregation in general, an earnest attention and an agreeable tenderness ; and it seemed as if God designed to visit us with further showers of divine grace. I then baptized ten persons ; five adults, and five children ; and was not a little refreshed with this addition made to the church of such as I hope will be saved. I have reason to hope that God has lately, at and since our cele- bration of the Lord's supper, brought to himself several persons who had long been under spiritual trouble and concern ; although there have been few instances of persons lately awakened out of a state of security. Those comforted of late seem to be brought in, in a more silent way ; neither their concern, nor consolation being so powerful and remarkable, as ap- peared aniong those more suddenly wrought upon in the beginning of this work of grace. '•'^ June 2. In the evening, enjoyed some freedom in secret prayer and meditation. — June 3. My soul rejoiced, early in the morning, to think that all things were at God's disposal. Oh, it pleased me to leave them there ! Felt afterwards much as I did on Thursday evening last. May 22, and continued in that frame for several hours. Walked out in the wilderness, and enjoyed freedom, fervency and comfort in prayer, and again enjoyed the same in the evening. '•''June 4. Spent the day in writing, and enjoyed some comfort, satis- faction and freedom in my work. In the evening, I was favored with a sweet refreshing frame of soul in secret prayer and meditation. Prayer was now wholly turned into praise, and I could do little else but try to adore and bless the living God. The wonders of his grace displayed in gathering to himself a church among the poor Indians here, were the sub- joct matter of my meditation, and the occasion of exciting my soul to praise and bless his name. My soul was scarcely ever more disposed to inquire. What I should render to God for all his benefits ? than at this time. Oh, I was brought into a strait, a sweet and happy strait, to know what to do : I longed to make some returns to God ; but found I had nothing to return ; I could only rejoice that God had done the work him- self ; and that none in heaven or earth might pretend to share the honor oHt with him. I could only be glad that God's declarative glory was ad- 246 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. K'i vanccd by the conversion of these souls, and that it was to the enlarge' ment of his kingdom in the world ; but saw T was so poor that I had nothing to offer to him. My soul and body, through grace, I could cheer- fully surrender to him ; but it appeared to me this was rather a burden than a gift ; and nothing could I do to glorify his dear and blessed name. Yet I was glad at heart, that he was unchangeably possessed of glory and blessedness. Oh, that he might be adored and praised by all his intelli- gent creatures to the utmost extent of their capacities! My soul would have rejoiced to see others praise him, though I could do nothing towards it myself." "y««r 6. Discoursed to my people from part of Is. liii. The divine presence appeared to be among us in some measure. — Several persons were much melted and refreshed ; and one man in particular, who had long been under concern for his soul, was now brought to see and feel, in a very lively manner, the impossibility of his doing anything to help him- self, or to bring him into the favor of God, by his tears, prayers and other religious performances ; and found himself undone as to any power or goodness of his own, and that there was no way left him but to leave him- self with God, to be disposed of as he pleased. ^^ June 7. Being desired by the Rev. William Tennent to be his assis- tant in the administration of the Lord's supper, I this morning rode to Freehold to render that assistance. My people also being invited to at- tend the sacramental solemnity ; they cheerfully embraced the opportunity, and this day attended the preparatory services with me. In the after- noon I preached from Psalm Ixxiii. 28. ' But it is good for me to draw near to God,' etc. God gave me some freedom and warmth in my dis- course ; and I trust his presence was in the assembly. Was comfortably composed, enjoyed a thankful frame of sjiirit, and my soul was grieved that I could not render something to God for his benefits bestowed. that T could be swallowed up in his praise ! ^'■Lord's day, June 8. .Spent much time in the morning in secret duties, but between hope and fear respecting the enjoyment of God in the business of the day then before us. Was agreeably entertained in the forenoon by a discourse from Mr. Tennent, and felt somewhat melted and refreshed. In the season of communion enjoyed some comfort ; and es- pecially in serving one of the tables. Blessed be the Lord ! it was a time of refreshing to me, and I trust to many others. " Most of my people, who had been communicants at the Lord's table, before being present at this sacramental occasion, communed with others in the holy ordinance, at the desire, and I trust to the satisfaction and comfort of numbers of God's people, who had longed to see this day, and whose hearts had rejoiced in this work of grace among the Indians, which prepared the way for what appeared so agreeable at this time. Those H MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 247 of my people who communed, seemed in general, agreeably affected at the Lord's table, and some of them considerably melted with the love of Christ, although they were not so remarkably refreshed and feasted at this time, as when I administered this ordinance to them in our own con- gregation only. A number of my dear people sat down by themselves at the last table ; at which time God seemed to be in the midst of them. Some of the bystanders were affected with seeing those who had been 'aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenant of promise,' who of all men had lived ' without hope and without God in the world,' now brought near to God, as his professing people, and seal- ing their covenant with him, by a solemn and devout attendance upon this sacred ordinance. As numbers of God's people were refreshed with this sight, and thereby excited to bless God for the enlargement of his king- dom in the world ; so some others, I was told, were awakened by it, ap- prehending the danger they were in of being themselves finally cast out ; while they saw others from the east and west preparing, and hopefully prepared in some good measure, to sit down in the kingdom of God. At this season others of my people also, who were not communicants, were considerably affected ; convictions were revived in several instances ; and one, the man particularly mentioned in my journal of the 6iii instant obtained comfort and satisfaction ; and has since given me such an ac- count of his spiritual exercises, and the manner in which he obtained re- lief, as appears very hopeful. It seems as if He, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, had now ' shined into his heart, and given him the light of,' and experimental ' knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.' " In the afternoon God enabled me to preach with uncommon free- dom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. * Now then we are ambassadors for Christ,' etc. Through the great goodness of God, I was favored with a constant flow of pertinent matter, and proper expressions, from the beginning to the end of my discourse. In the evening I could not but rejoice in God, and bless him in the manifestations of Grace in the day past "i O it was a sweet and solemn day and evening ! A season of comfort to the godly, and of awakening to some souls ! O that I could praise the Lord ! "June 9. Enjoyed some sweetness in secret duties. A considerable number of my people met together early in a retired place in the woods, and prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things ; and were seen by some religious persons of the white people to be affected and engaged, and divers of them in tears in these religious exercises. Preached the con- cluding sermon from Gen. v. 24. ' And Enoch walked with God,' etc God gave me enlargement and fervency in my discourse, so that I was enabled co speak with plainness and power ; and God's presence seemed to be in the assembly. Praised be the Lord, it was a sweet meeting, a 248 MEMOIRS OF liKATNERD. desirable assembly. I found my strength renewed, and lengthened out even to ;i woiukr, so tli;it I felt niiicli stronger at the conclusion tii.in in the beginning of tiiis sacramental stjlemnily. 1 have great reason to bless God for this solenmity; wherein I have found assistance m addressing others, and sweetness in my own soul. " After my people had attended the concluding exercises of the sacramental solemnity, they returned home ; many of them rejoicing for all the goodness of God which they had seen and felt ; so that this appeared to be a profitable as well as comfortable season to numbers of my congregation. Their being present at this occasion, and a number of them communing at the Lord's table with other Christians, was, I tiust, for the honor of God and the interest of religion in these parts; as numbers I have reason to think, were quickened by means of it. ^'June 12. In the evening enjoyed freedom of mind and some sweet- ness in secret prayer. It was a desirable season to me ; my soul was enlarged in prayer for my own dear people, and for the enlargement of Christ's kingdom, and especially for the propagation of the Gospel among the Indians, far back in the wilderness. Was refreshed in prayer for dear friends in New England and elsewhere. I found it sweet to pray at this time ; and could, with all my heart say, ' It is good for me to draw near to God.' '■'■June 13. Preached to my people upon the new creature, from 2 Cor. V. 17, ' If any man be in Christ,' etc. The presence of God seemed to be in the assembly. It was a sweet and agreeable meeting, wherein the people of God were refreshed and strengthened ; beholding their faces in the glass of God's word, and finding in themselves the works and linea- ments of the new creature. Some sinners under concern were also re- newedly affected ; and afresh engaged for the securing of their eternal interests. " Baptized five persons at this time, three adults, and two children. One of these was the very aged woman, of whose exercises I gave an account in my diary of Dec. 26. She now gave me a very rational, and satisfactory account of the remarkable change which she experienced some months after the beginning of her concern, which I must say appeared to be the genuine operations of the Divine Spirit, so far as I am capable of judging. Although she was become so childish through age, that I could do nothing in a way of questioning with her, nor scarcely make her understand anything that T asked her ; yet when I let her alone to go on with her own story, she could give a very distinct and particular relation of the many and various exercises of soul, which she had experienced ; so deep were the impressions left upon her mind by that influence and those exercises which she had experienced. I have great reason to think that she is born anew in her old age, she being, I presume, upwards of MEMOIRS OF HRAINEKD. 249 mature, from 2 )f God seemed ig, wherein the their faces in Irks and linea- were also re- their eternal liglUy. I had good hopes of the other adults, and trust they are such as (IimI will own *in the day when he makes up his jewels.' I canje away from the meeting of the Indians this day, rejoicing and blessing God for his grace manifested at this season. "June 14. Rode to Kingston to assist the Rev. Mr. Wales in the administration of the Lord's supper. In the afternoon preached ; but almost fainted in the pulpit. Yet God strengthened me when I was just gone, and enabled me to speak his word with freedom, fervency and application to the conscience. Praised be the Lord, ' out of weakness I was made strong.' I enjoyed some sweetness in and after public worship, but was extremely tired. Oh, how many are the mercies of the Lord ! 'To them that have no might he increaseth strength.' "Z<';v/'.f day, June 15. Was in a dejected, spiritless frame, so that I could not hold up my head, nor look anybody in the face. Administered the Lord's supper at Mr. Wales' desire, and found myself in a good measure unburdened and relieved of my pressing load, when I came to ask a hlcbsing on the elements. Here God gave me enlargement and a tender affectionate sense of spiritual things, so that it was a season of comfort, in some measure to me, and I trust, more so to others. In the afternoon, preached to a vast multitude, from Rev. xxii. 17: 'And who- ever will,' etc. God helped me to offer a testimony for himself, and to leave sinners inexcusable in neglecting his grace. I was enabled to speak ttith such freedom, fluency and clearness, as commanded the attention of the great. Was extremely tired in the evening, but enjoyed composure and sweetness. "June 16. Preached again ; and God helped me amazingly, so that this was a sweet refreshing season to my soul and others. Oh, forever blessed be God (or help afforded at this time, when my body was so weak, and while there was so large an assembly to hear. Spent this afternoon in a comfortable agreeable manner." The next day was spent comfortably. On Wednesday, he went to a meeting of aiinisters at Hopewell. '^ June 19. Visited my people with two of the reverend correspondents. ^pentsome time in conversation with some of them upon spiritual things ; and took some care of their worldly concerns. " This day makes up a complete year from the first time of my preach- ing to these Indians in New Jersey. What amazing things has God wrought "1 this space of time, for this poor people! What a surprising change ^Ppears in their tempers and behavior! How are morose and savage ^pagans, in this short period, transformed into agreeable, affectionate, and liumble Christians I and their drunken and pagan howlings turned into as© MEMOIRS OF liRAINERD. devout and fervent praises to God ; they ' who were sometimes in dark- ness arc now become liglit in the Lord. ' May tliey ' \vali< as children of the light and of the day ! ' And now to Ilim that is of power to establish them according to the gospel, and the preaching of Christ — to God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ, for ever and ever, Amen." MEMOIRS OF BKAINEKD, 251 CHAPTER X. Some Remarkable Cases of Conversion during the g;reat ReviraU No. I. *^ Dec. 26. This evening was visited b) a person under great spiritual distress ; the most remarkable instance of this kind I ever saw. She was, I believe, more than fourscore years old, and appeared to be much broken and very childish through age ; so that it seemed impossible for man to instill into her any notions of divine things ; not so much as to give her any doctrinal instruction, because she seemed incapable of being taught. She was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in extreme anguish. I asked her, what ailed her ? She answered, her heart was dis- tressed, and she feared she should never find Christ. I asked her when she began to be concerned, with divers other questions relating to her distress. To all which she answered, for substance, to this effect : That she had heard me pr< ;h many times, but never knew anything about it, never felt it in her heart, till the last Sabbath, and then it came, she said, all one as if a needle had been thrust into her heart ; since which time, she had no rest day nor night. She added, that on the evening before Christmas, a number of Indians being together at the house where she was, and discoursing about Christ, their talk pricked her heart so that she could not sit up, but fell down in her bed ; at which time she went away, as she expressed it, and felt as if she dreamed, and yet is confident she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw two paths ; one appeared very broad and crooked ; and that turned to the left hand. The other appeared straight and very narrow ; and that went up the hill to the right hand. She travelled, she said, for some time up the narrow right hand path, till at length something seemed to obstruct her journey. She sometimes called it darkness ; and then described it otherwise, and seemed to compare it to a block or bar. She then remembered what she had heard me say about striving to enter in at the straight gate, although she took little notice of it at thv-i time when she heard me discourse upon that subject; and thought she would climb over this bar. But just as she was thinking of this, she came back again, as she turned it, meaning that she came to herself ; whereupon her soul was extremely distressed, apprehending that she had now termed back, and forsaken Christ, and that there was therefore no hope of mercy for her. — - ; ^. ~ - " As I was sensible that trances, and imaginary views of things are of dangerous tendency in religion, where sought after and depended upon ; so I could not but be much concerned about this exercise, especi- 252 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ^ PC ^ ^ cially at first ; apprehending this might be a design of Satan to bring a blemish upon tlie wi^rli o[ God here, by introducing visionary scenes, imaginary terrors, and all manner of mental disorders and delusions, in the room of genuine convictions of sin, and the enlightening influences of the blessed Spirit ; and I was almost resolved to declare, that I looked upon this to be one of Satan's devices, and to caution my people against this and similar exercises of that nature. However, I determined firsi to inquire into her knowledge, to see whether she had any just views of things which might be the occasion of her present distressing concern, or whether it was a mere fright, arising only from imaginary terrors. I asked her divers questions respecting man's primitive, and more espe- ally his present state, and respecting her own heart ; which she an- swered rationally, and to my surprise. I thought it next to impossible, if not altogether so, that a pagan, who was become a child through age, should in that state gain so much knowledge by any mere human instruc- tion, without being remarkably enlightened by a divine influence. I then proposed to her the provision m;ide in the Gospel for the salvation of sin- ners, and the ability and willingness of Christ ' to save to the uttermost all, old as well ;.s young, that come to him.' To this she seemed to give a hearty assent ; but instantly replied, ' Aye, but I cannot come ; my wicked heart will n>)t come to Christ ; I do not know how to come.' This she spoke in anguish of spirits, striking on her breast, with tears in her eyes, and with such earnestness in her looks, as was indeed piteous and affecting. She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and her need of a change of heart. Her concern is abiding and constant, so that nothing appears why this exercise may not have a saving issue. Indeed there seems reason to hope such an issue, seeing she is so solici- tous to obtain an interest in Christ ; that her heart, as she expresses it, prays day and night. " How far God may make use of the imagination in awakening some persons under these, and similar circumstances, I cannot pretend to determine. Or whether this exercise be from a divine influence, I shall leave others, to judge. But this I must say, that its effects hitherto be- speak it to be such ; nor can it, as I see, be accounted for in any rational way, but from the influence of some spirit either good or evil. The wo- man, I am sure, never heard divine things in the manner in which she now viewed them ; and it would seem strange that she should get such a rational notion of them from the mere working of her own fancy, without some superior, or at least foreign aid. Yet I must say, I have looked upon it as one of the glories of this work of grace among the Indians, and a special evidence of it's being from :. divine influence, that there has, till now been no appearance of such th'ngs, no visionary notions, trances, and imaginations, intermixed with those rational convictions of sin and MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 253 latan to bring a sionary scenes, id delusions, in ing influences of re, that I looked y people against termined firsi to ly just views of ising concern, or nary terrors. I and more espe- which she an- xt to impossible, ,ild through age, e human instruc- nfluence. I then J salvation of sin- to the uttermost iC seemed to give annot come; my r how to come.' ast, with tears in s indeed piteous r sin and misery, ing and constant, ; a saving issue. 5 she is so solid- she expresses it, awakening some nnot pretend to nfluence, I shall ects hitherto be- )r in any rational ir evil. The wo- er in which she ihould get such a vn fancy, without y, I have looked )ng the Indians, e, that there has, notions, trances, ;tions of sin and solid consolations, of which numbers have been made the subjects. And might I have my desire, there had been no appearance of anything of this nature at all." No II. '■' Lord's day, Jan, 19. Discoursed to my people from Isaiah 1 v. 7. Toward night catechised in my ordinary method ; and this appeareil to be a powerful season of grace among us. Numbers were much affected. Convictions were powerfully revived, and divers numbers of Christians refreshed and strengthened ; and one weary, heavy laden soul, I have abundant reason to hope, brought to true rest and solid comfort in Christ; who afterwards gave me such an account of God's dealing with his soul, as was abundantly satisfying, as well as refreshing to me. He told me he had often heard me say, that persons must see and feel themselves utterly helpless and undone — that they nmst be emptied of a dependence upon themselves and of all hope of saving themselves, in order to their coming to Christ for salvation. lie bad long been striving after this view of ihings ; supposing that this would be an excellent frame of mind, to be thus emptied of a dependence upon his own goodness ; that God would liave respect to this frame, would then be well pleased with him, and bestow eternal life upon him. But when he came to feel himself in this helpless, undone condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts and expectations ; so that it was not the same frame, nor indeed anything like the frame after which he had been seeking. Instead of its being a goo I frame of mind, he now found nothing but badness in himself, and saw it was for ever impossible for him to mnke himself any better. He wondered, he said, that he had ever hoped to mend his own heart. He was amazed that he had never before seen, that it was utterly impossible for him by all his contrivances and endeavors to do anything in that way, since the matter now appeared to hiin in so clear a light. Instead of im- agining now that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind, and this view of his undone estate, he saw clearly, and felt that it would be just with God, to send him to cterr: ' misery ; and that there was no goodness in what he then feu ; for he couk! nut help seeing, that he was naked, sinful, and miscr.able, and that there was nothing in such a sight to deserve God's love or pity. " He saw these things in a manner so clear and convincing, that it seemed to him, he said, he could convince everybody of their utter in- ability to help themselves, and their unworthiness of any help from God. In this frame of mind he came to public worship this evening ; and while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without any goodness of their own to recommend them to his acceptance, then he thought with himself that he had often tried to come and give up his r 254 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. heart to Christ, and he used to hope that some time or other he should be able to do so. But now he was convinced that he could not, and that it was utterly vain for him ever to try any more ; and he could not, he said, find a heart to make any further attempt, because he saw it would signify nothing at all ; nor did he now hope for a better opportunity or more ability hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw, and was fully convinced that his own strength would for ever fail. ** While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his heart, which is a common phrase among them, something that was unspeakably good and lovely, and what he had never seen before ; and ' this stole away his heart, whether he would or no.' He did not, he said, know what it was that he saw. He did not say, ' this is Jesus Christ ; ' but it was such glory and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give away his heart, as he had formerly intended and attempted to do ; hut it went away of itself after that glory which he then discovered. He used to make a bargain with Christ, to give up his heart to him that he might have eternal life for it. But now he thought nothing about himself, or what would become of him hereafter; but was pleased, and his mind wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what he then beheld. After some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way of salvation by Christ ; so that it seemed unspeakably better to be saved altogether by the mere free grace of God in Christ; than to have any hand in saving himself. The consequence of this exercise is, that he appears to retain a sense and relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of seriousness and true religion." No. III. " Feb. 9. Towards night catechised. God made this a powerful sea- son to some. There were many affected. Former convictions appeared to be powerfully revived. There was likewise one who had been a vile drunkard remarkably awakened. He appeared to be in great anguish of soul, wept and trembled, and continued to do so till near midnight. There was also a poor heavy-laden soul, who had been long under spiritual dis- tress, as constant and pressing as I ever saw, who was now brought to a comfortable calm, and seemed to be bowed and reconciled to the divine sovereignty, and told me she now felt and saw that it was right for God to do with her as he pleased ; and that her heart felt pleased and satisfied it should be so ; although of late she had often found her heart rise and quarrel with God, because he would, if he pleased, send her to hell after all she had done, or could do to save herself. She added, that the heavy burden she had lain under was now removed ; that she had tried to re- cover her concern and distress again, fearing that the Spirit of God was departing from her, and would leave her wlioUy careless, but that she MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, )ther he should Id not, and that e could not, he le saw it would opportunity or ne saw, and was 255 could not recover it ; that she felt she never could do anything to save herself, but must perish for ever if Christ did not do all for her ; that she did not deserved he should help her ; and that it would be right if he should leave her to perish. But Christ would save her though she could do nothing to save herself, and here she seemed to rest." i, with his heart, vas unspeakably ; and ' this stole , he said, know Christ ; ' but it iid not now give ed to do ; but it .rered. He used m that he might 30ut himself, or 1, and his mind : he then beheld, y of salvation by red altogether by ^ hand in saving ppears to retain e of seriousness s a powerful sea- ictions appeared had been a vile reat anguish of midnight. There ider spiritual dis- low brought to a ed to the divine ras right for God ised and satisfied ;r heart rise and her to hell after ;1, that the heavy had tried to re- pirit of God was ess, but that she No. IV. " March, g, Methinks it '.vould have refreshed the heart of any who truly love Zion's interests, to have been in the midst of this divine in- fluence, and seen the effects of it upon saints and sinners. The place of worship appeared both solemn and sweet, and was so f;deared by a display of the divine presence and grace, that those who had a relish for divine things could not but cry, ' How amiable are thy tabernacle ■ O Lord of hosts ! 'After public worship was over, numbers came to my house, where we sang and discoursed of divine things ; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in the midst of us. — While we were singing the woman mentioned in my journal of February 9, who I may venture to say, if I may be allowed to say so much of any person I ever saw, was ' filled with joy unspeakable and full of glory ; ' and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises to God before us all with many tears ; crying sometimes in English, and sometimes in Indian, 'O blessed Lord ! do come, do come ! O do take me away ; do let me die and go to Jesus Christ I I am afraid if I live I shall sin again. O do let n ' die now ! O Icar Jesus, do come ! I cannot stay, I cannot stay ! <"> how can I live in ihis world t do talce my soul away from this sinful p! ! O let me never sin any more I what shall I do, what shall I do, dear Jesus ! O dear Jesus I ' In this ecstasy she continued some time, uttering these an ' similar expression in- cessantly. The grand argument she used with God to t ke Ivr awa immedi- ately was, that 'if she lived she should sin against him.' Whenslic harl a little recovered herself, I asked her, if Christ was now sweet to her S' d ? Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with a" the tokens of deep humility I ever saw in any person, she said, " I hav manv times heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness of Christ, that he was better than all the world. Rut oh ! I knew nothing what you me mt. I never believed you, I never believed you ! But now I know it i< '• lo ;' or words to that effect. I answered, ' And do you see enough irist for the greatest of sinners .-' ' She rei)lied, ' O enough, enough for all the sinners in the world, if they would but come.' When I asked her, ' if she could not tell them of the goodness of Christ : ' — Turning herself about to some Christless souls who stood by and were much affected, she said, '0 there is enough in Christ for you if you would but come. O strive, strive to give up your hearts to him,' etc. On hearing something of the 2s6 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. Si ^ glory of heaven mentioned, that there was no sin in that world, she again fell into the same ecstasy of joy and desire of Christ's coming, repeating her former expressions, ' O dear Lord, do let me go ! O what shall I do; what shall I do. I want to go to Christ. I cannot live. O do let r . die.' " She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours before she was able to get home. I am very sensible that there may be great joys arising even to an ecstasy, where there is still no substantial evidence of their being well grounded. But in the present case there seemed to be no evidence wanting in order to prove this joy to be divine, e-ll.er in re- gard to its preparatives, attendants, or consequents. Of all the persons whom I have seen under spiritual exercise, I scarcely ever saw one appear more bowed and broken under convictions of sin and misery, or what is usually called preparatory work, than this woman ; nor scarcely any who seemed to have a greater acquaintance with her own heart than she had. She would frequently complain to me of the hardness and rebellion of her heart. Would tell me that her heart rose and quarrelled with God when she thought he would do with her as he pleased, and send her to hell, not- withstanding her prayers, good frames, etc, that her heart was not willing to come to Christ for salvation, but tried every where else for help. As she seemed to be remarkably sensible of her stubbornness and contrariety to God under conviction, so she appeared to be no less remarkably bowed and reconciled to his sovereignty before she obtained any relief or comfort : something of which I have noticed in my journal of Feb. 9. Since that time she has seemed constantly to breathe the temper and spirit of the new creature : crying after Christ, not through fear of hell as before, but with strong desires after him as her only satisfied portion; and has many times wept and sobbed bitterly, because as she apprehended, she did not and could not love him. When I have sometimes asked her why she ap- peared so sorrowful, and whether it was because she was afraid of hell, she would answer, ' No, I be not distressed about that, but my heart is so wicked I cannot love Christ; 'and thereupon burst into tears. But although this has been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks together, so that the exercise of grace appeared evident to others ; yet she seemed wholly insensible to it herself, and never had any remarkable comfort and sensible satisfaction until this evening. This sweet and surprising ecstasy appeared to spring from a true spiritual discovery of the glory, ravishing beauty, and excellency of Christ; and not from any gross imaginary notions of his human nature, such as that of seeing him in such a posture, as hanging on the cross, as oleeding and dying, as gently smiling, \\A the like ; which delusions some have been carried awav with. Nor 'I'd it arise from sordid, selfish apprehension* of her having any benefit whensoever conferred on her ; but from a view MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 257 o{his personal excellency and transcendant loveliness ; which drew forth these vehement desires of enjoying hiivi which she now manifested, and made her long, " to be absent from the body, that she might be present with the Lord . The attendants of this ravishing comfort were such, as abundantly dis- covered its spring to be divine ; and that it was truly ' a joy in the Holy Ghost.' Now she viewed divine truths as living realities, and could say, ' I know these things are so ; I feel that they are true ! ' Now her soul was resigned to the divine will in the most tender point ; so that when I said to her, ' What if God should take away your husband * from you wlio was then very .sick, how do you think you could bear that ? ' She replied, 'He belongs to God and not to me; he may do with him just as he plexses,' Now she had the most tender sense of the evil of sin, and dis- covered the utmost aversion to it, and longing to die, that she might be delivered from it. Now she could freely trust her all with God for time and eternity. When I questioned her, * How she would be willing to die and leave her little infant ; and what she thought would become of it in that case ? ' she answered, * God will take care of it.' Now she appeared to have the most humbling sense of her own meanness and unworthiness, her weakness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and to persevere in the way of holiness, crying, ' If I live I shall sin.' I then thought that I had never seen such an appearance of ecstasy and humility meeting in any one person in all my life before. " The consequents of this joy are no less desirable and satisfactory than its attendants. She since appears to be a most tender, broken- hearted, affectionate, devout, and humble Christian ; as exemplary in life and conversation as any person in my congregation. May she still 'grow in grace and in the knowledge of Christ ! " .iii:i No. V. iiij May g. " Baptized one man this day, the conjurer, murderer, etc. men- tinned in my diary of Aug. 8, 1745, and Feb i, 1746,* who appears to be such a remarkable instance of divine grace, that I cannot omit to give some brief account of him here. He lived near, and sometimes attended my meeting, at the Forks of Delaware, for more than a year together ; but was, like many others of them, extremely attached to strong drink, and seemed to be in nodegree reformed by the means which I used with them for their instruction and conversion. At this time he likewise murdered a likely young Indian, which threw him into some kind of horror and des- peration, so that he kept at a distance from me, and refused to hear me • The man mentioned in my Journal of January 19. 358 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. V> preach for several months together, imtil I had an opportunity of convers- ing freely with him, and giving li 'n encouragement, that his sin might be forgiven, for Christ's sake. After this he again attended my meeting sometimes. " But that which was the worst of all his conduct, was his conjuration, He was one of those who are sometimes called powwows, among the In- dians ; and, notwithstanding his frequent attendance upon my preaching, he still followed his old charms and juggling tricks, ' giving out that him- self was some great one, and to him they gave heed,' supposing him to be possessed of great power. When I have instructed them respecting the miracle wrought by Christ in healing the sick, and mentioned them as evidence of his divine mission, and the truths of his doctrine ; they have quickly observed the wonders of that kind, which this man had perform- ed by his magic charms. Hence they had a high opinion of him and his superstitious notions ; which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to some of them in regard to their receiving the Gospel. I have often thought that it would be a great favor to the design of evangelizing these Indians, if God would take that wretch out of the world ; for T had scarcely any hope of his ever becoming good. But God, whose thoughts are not as man's thoughts, has been pleased to take a much more desirable method with him ; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, and I trust advan- tageous to his own interests among the Indians, as well as effectual to the salvation of the poor soul. To God be the glory of it. The first genuine concern for his soul, that ever a])pcarcd in him, was excited by seeing my interpreter and his wife baptized at the Forks of Delaware, July 21, 1745. Which so prevailed upon him, that with the invitation of an Indian who was a friend to Christianity, he followed me down to Crossweeksunc;, in the beginning of August following, in order to hear me preach ; and there continued for several wee'^s in the season of the most remarkable and powerful awakening among the Indians ; at which time he was more effectually awakened, and brought under great concern for his soul. And then he says, upon his ' feeling the word of God in his heart,' as he ex- presses it, his spirit of conjuration left him entirely, so that he has had no more power of that nature since, than any other man living. He also de- clares, that he does not now so much as know how he used to charm and conjure, and that he could not now do anything of that nature if he wxrc ever so desirous of it. " He continued under convictions of his sinful and perishing state, and a considerable degree of concern for his soul, all the fall and former part of the winter past ; but was not so deeply exercised until some time in January. Then the word of God took such hold upon him, that he was brought into deep distress, and knew not what to do, nor where to turn himself. He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach from time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his heart, and MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 259 made liim very uneasy, but did not bring him to so great a distress, be- cause he still hoped he could do something for his own relief ; but now he said, I drove him up in such a sharp corner, that he had no way to turn, and could not avoid being in distress, lie continued constantly under the heavy burden and pressure of a wounded spirit, until at length he was brought into the acute anguish and utmost agony of soul, mentioned in my Journal of Feb. ist. which continued that night and part of the next day. After this he was brought to the utmosw calmness and composure of mind ; his trembling and heavy burden was removed and he appeared perfectly sedate, although he had to his apprehensions scarcely any hope of salva- tion. " I observed him to appear remarkably composed ; and thereupon asked him how he did ? lie replied, ' It is done, it is done, it is all done now.' I asked him what he meant ! He answered, ' I can never do any more to save myself ; it is all done for ever. I can do no more.' I queried with him, whether he could not do a little more, rather than go to iiell .'' He replied ' my heart is dead. I can never help myself.' I asked him what he thought would become of him then ? He answered ' I must go to hell.' I asked him if he thought it was 'ight, that God should send '?.:m to hell ? He replied ' Oh it is right. The devil has been in me ever since I was born.' I asked him if he felt this when he was in such great (i'stress the evening before.'* He answered, ' No ; I did not then think it was right. I thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then I dropping into it ; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say twas right he should send me there ; but now I know it is right, for I [have always served the devil ; and my heart has no goodness in it now; but it is as bad as ever it was,' etc. I thought I had scarcely ever seen any person more effectually brought off from a dependence upon his own I contrivances and endeavors for salvation, or more apparently to lie at the Jt of sovereign mercy, than this man did, under these views oi things. "la this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence I of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning that it would be tight that he should be damned, and that he expected this would be his portion for the greatness of his sins. Yet it was plain that he had a secret hope of mercy, though imperceptible to himself, which kept him not only from despair, but from any pressing distress ; so that, instead of being I sad and dejected, his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable. "While he was in this frame, he several times asked me, « When I I would preach again?' and seemed desirous to hear the word of God everyday. Tasked, ' Why he wanted to hear me preach, seeing his brtwas dead, and all was done ; that he could never help himself, and expected that he must go to hell ?' He replied, , 'I love to hear you speak about Christ for all.' I added ' But what good will that do you, i£ 26o MEMOIRS OF BRAIA'ERD. V? you must go to hell at last ? — using now his own language with him. liavinf» before from time to tir-e labored in the best manner I could to represent to him the excellency of Christ, his all-sufficiency and willingness to save lost sinners, and persons just in his case; although to no purpose, as to yielding him any special comfort. He answered, ' I would have others come to Christ, if I must go t > hell myself.' It was remarkable, that he seemed to have a great love for the people of God ; and nothing affected him so much as being separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part of the hell to which he saw himself doomed. It was likewise remarkable, that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all the means for the soul's salvation; although he had the clearest view of the insufficiency of means to afford him help. He would frequently say, That all he did signified nothing at all ; and yet was never more constant in doing ; attending secret and family prayer daily; and surprisingly dili- gent and attentive in hearing the word of God ; so that he neither de- spaired of mercy, nor yet presumed to hope upon his own doings, but used means because appointed of God in order to salvation ; and because he would wait upon God in h'S own way. "After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a week, while I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a lively soul -refreshing view of the excellency of Christ and the way of salvation by him ; which melted him into tears, and filled him with admiration, comfort, satisfac- tion, and praise to God. Since then, he has appeared to be a humble, devout, and affectionate Christian ; serious and exemplary in his conversa- tion and behavior, frecjuently complaining of his barrenness, his want of spiritual warmth, life, and activity, and yet frequently favored with quickening and refreshing influences. In ali respects, so far :;s I am capable of judging, he bears the marks of one ' created anew in Christ J the method of and I trust, the iiade the means in general. )\v no vice unrc- arling vice, was my hearers for wives in putting ickly reformed, arily dismis.«i:cl ogether in lovt and peace. The same might he said of all other vicious practices. The reformation was general ; and all springing from the internal influence of divine truths upon their hearts ; and not from any external restraints, or because they had heard these vices particularly exposed, and repeatedly spoken against. Some of them I never so much as mentioned ; particu- larly, that of the parting of men and their wives, till some, having their conscience awakened by God's word, came, and of their own accord, con- fessed themselves guilty in that respect. When I at any time mentioned their wicked practices, and the sins they were guilty of contrary to thu light of nature, it was not with a design, nor inched with any hope, of working an effectual reformation in their external manners by this means for I knew, that while the tree remained corrupt the fruit would naturally be so. My design was to lead them, by observing the wickedness of their lives, to a view of the corruption of their hearts, and so to convince thenj of the necessity of a renovation of nature, and to excite them with the utmost diligence to seek after that great change ; which, if once obtained, I was sensible, would of course produce a reformation of external manners in every respect. " And as all vice was reformed upon their feeling the power of these truths upon their hearts, so the external duties of Christianity were com- plied with, and conscientiously performed from the same internal influence ; family prayer set up, and constantly maintained, unless among some few more lately come, who had felt little of this divine influence. This duty was constantly performed, even in some families where there were none but females, and scarce a prayerless person was to l)e found among near an hundred of them. The Lord's day was seriously and religiously observed, and care taken by parents to keep their children orderly upon that sacred (lay; and this, not because I had driven them to the performance of these duties, by frequently inculcating them, but because they had felt the power of God's word upon their hearts, — were made sensible of their sin and misery, and thence could not but pray, and comply with everything which they knew to be their duty, from what they felt within themselves. When their hearts were touched with a sense of their eternal concerns, they could pray with great freedom, as well as fervency, without being at the trouble first to learn set forms for that purpose. Some of them, who were suddenly awakened at their first coming among us, were brought to pray and cry for mercy with the utmost importunity, without ever being instructed in the duty of prayer, or so much as once directed to a per- formance of it. " The happy effects of these peculiar doctrines of grace, upon which I have so much insisted, upon this people plainly discover, even to demon- stration, that, instead of their opening a door to licentiousness, .-'.s many vainly imagine, and slanderously insinuate, they have a directly contrary 266 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. tendency ; so that a close application, a sense and feeling of them, will have the most powerful iiifbiciicc toward the renovation, and effectual reformation both of heart ami life. " Happy experience, as well as the word of God, and the example of Christ and his apostles, has taught me, that the very method of preach- ing which is best suited to awaken in mankind a sense and lively appre- hension of their depravity and misery in a fallen state, — to excite them earnestly to seek after a change of heart, as to fly for refuge to free and sovereign gr.ce in Christ as the only hoi)e set before them, is likely to be most successful in the reformation of their external conduct. — I have found that close addresses, and solenm applications of divine truth to the conscience, strike at the ••oot of all vice ; while smooth and plausible harangues upo'i moral virtues and external duties, at best are like to do no more than lop off the branches of corruption, while the root of all vice rema'ns still untouched. ' " A view of the blessed effect of honest endeavors to bring home divine truths to the conscience, and duly to affect the heart with them, has often reminded me of those words of our Lord, which I have thought might be a proper exhortation for ministers in respect of their treating with others, as well as for persons in general with regard to themselves. Cleanse first the inside of the cup and platter, that the outside may be clean also.' Cleanse, says he, the inside, that the outside may be clean. As if he had said, The only effectual way to have the outside clean, is to begin with what is within ; and if the fountain be purified, the streams will naturally be pure. Most certain it is, if we can a\vaken in sinners a lively sense of their inward pollution and depravity — their need of a change of heart— and so engage them to seek after inward cleansing, their external defile- ment will naturally be cleansed, llicir vicious ways of course be reformed, and their conversation and behavior become regular. " Now, although I cannot pretend that the reformation among my people, does, in every instance, spring from a saving change of heart ; yet I may truly say, it flowr. from some heart-affecting view and sense of divine truths which all have had in a greater or less degree. — I do not intend, by what I have observed here, to represent the preaching of mor- ality and pressing persons to the external performance of duty, to be alto- gether unnecessary and useless at any time ; and especially at times when there is less of divine power attending the means of grace; when, for want of internal influences, there is need of external restraints. It is doubtlefiS among the things that * ought to be done,' while 'others are not to be left undone.' — But what I principally designed by this remark, wa.s to discover a plain matter of fact, viz. : That the reformation, the sobriety, and the external compliance with the rules and duties of Christianity, ap- pearing among my people, are not the effect of ^iny mere doctrinal in- MEMOIRS OF BRA INF. RD. •67 ig of them, will III, and effectual the example of :thod of prcach- and lively appre- -to excite them fuge to free and m, is likely to be ;onduct. — I have ivinc truth to the ;h and plausible :st are like to do le root of all vice bring home divine ;h them, has often thought might be ;ating with others, Ives, Cleanse first ly be clean also.' ;an. As if he had is to begin with ams will naturallv s a lively sense of lange of heart— ir external defile- )urse be reformed, nation among my change of heart ; icw and sense of egree. — I do not jireaching of mor- f duty, to be alto- ally at times when grace; when, for restraints. It is ilc 'others are not this remark, was tion, the sobriety, if Christianity, ap- nere doctrinal in- struction, or merely rational view of the beauty of morality, but from the internal power and influence which the soul hundjling doctrines 01 grace have liad upon their hearts. "III. On the continuance, renewal, and quickness of the work. " It is remarkable, that God has so continued and renewed the showers of his grace here; — so cjuickly set up his visible kingdom among these people; and so smiled upon them in relation to their acquirenniu (if knowledge, both divine and human. It is now nearly a year since the litgiiming of this gracious outpouring of the divine Spirit among them ; and although it has often seemed to decline and abate for some short space of time — as may be observed by several passages of my Journal, where I have endeavored to note things just as they appeared to mc — yet the shower has seemed to be renewed, and the work of grace revived again. A divine influence seems still apparently to attend the means of grace, in a greater or less degree, in most of our meetings for religious exercises ; whereby religious persons are refreshed, strengthened, and established, — convictions revived and promoted in many instances, and some few persons newly awakened from time to time. It must be ac- knowledged, that for some time past, there has, in general appeared a more manifest decline of this work ; and the divine Spirit has seemed, in a considerable measure, withdrawn, especially with regard to his awaken- ing influence — so that the strangers who come latterly, are not seized with concern as formerly ; and some few who have been much affected with divine truths in time past, now appear less concerned. Yet, blessed be God, *here is still an appearance of divine power and grace, a desirable degree of tenderness, religious affection and devotion in our assemblies. 'As God has continued and renewed the showers of his grace among this people for some time ; so he has with uncommon fpiickness set up his visible kingdom, and gathered himself a church in the midst of them. I have now baptized, since the conclusion of my last Journal, (or the First Part,) thirty persons — fifteen adults and fifteen children. Which added to the number there mentioned, makes seventy-seven persons; where- of thirty -eight are adults, and thirty-nine children, and all within the space of eleven months past. It must be noted, that I have baptized no adults, but such as appeared to have a work of special grace wrought in their hearts ; I mean such as have had the experience not only of the awakening and humbling, but in a judgment of charity, of the renewing and comfirming in- fiucnccs of the divine Spirit. There are many others imder solemn concern for their souls who, I apprehend, are persons of sulTicient knowledge, and visible seriousness, at present, to render them proper subjects of the ordinance of baptism. Yet since they give no comfortable evidence of a saving change, but only appear under convictions of their sin and misery ; IS the propensity in this people to abuse themselves with strung drink XA 268 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. V3 ^ naturally very great ; and as some, who at present appear serious and tuncerned for their souls, may lose their concern, and return to this sin, and so, if baptized, prove a scandal to their profession ; I have thought proper hitherto to defer their baptism. " I likewise administered the Lord's supper to a number of persons, who I have abundant reason to think, as I elsewhere observed, were proper subjects of that ordinance, within the space of ten months and ten days, after my first coming among these Indians in New-Jersey, From the time, when, as I am informed, some of them attending an idolatrous feast and sacrifice in honor lo devils, to the time wlicii they sat down at the Lord's table, I trust to the honor of God, was not more than a full year. Surely Christ's little flock here, so suddenly gathered from among pagans, may justly say, in the language of the Church of old, ' The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.' " Much of the goodness of God has also appeared in relation to their acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and in the affairs of common life. There has been a wonderful thirst after Christian knowledge pre- vailing among them in general, and an eager desire of being instructed in Christian doctrines and manners. This has prompted them to ask many pertinent as well as important questions ; the answers to which have tended much to enlighten their minds, and promote their knowledge in divine things. Many of the doctrines which I have delivered, they have queried with me about, in order to gain further light and insight intu them ; particularly the; doctrine of predestination ; and have from time to time manifested a good understanding of them, by their answers to the questions proposed to them in my catechetical lectures. " They have likewise queried with me, respecting a proper method, as well as proper matter, of prayer, and expressions suitable to be used hi that religious exercise ; and have taken pains in order to the per- formance of this duty with understanding. They have likewise taken pains, and appeared remarkably apt in learning to sing Psalm-tunes, and are now able to sing with a good degree of decency in the worshi]) of God. They have also acquired a considerable degree of useful knowledge in the affairs of common life ; so that thf-y now appear like rational creatures, fit for human society, free of that savage roughness and brutish stupidity, which rendered them very disagreeable in their pagan state.— They seem ambitious of a thorough acquaintance with the English language, and for that end frequently speak it among themselves. Manv of them have made good proficiency in their acquirement of it, since my coming among them ; so that most of them can understand a considerable part, and some the substance of my discourses, without an interpreter, being used to my low and vulgar methods of expression, though they couW not well understand other ministers. ME AW IRS OF BRAhVERD. / 269 "As they arc desirous of instruction, and surprisingly apt in the re- ception of it, so divine Providence lias smiled upon them with regard to the proper means in order to it. The attempts made for the procurement of a school among them have been succeeded, and a kind providence has tenc them a schoolmaster of whom I may justly say, I know of ' no man like minded, who will naturally care for their state.' lie has generally thirty or thirty-five children in his school : and when lie kept an evening school, as he did while the length of the evenings, would admit of it, he had fifteen or twenty people, married and single. "The children learn with surprising readiness; so that their master tells me, he never had an English school which learned, in general, com- parably so fast. There were not above two in thirty, although some of them were very small, but that learned to know all the letters in the alphabet distinctly, within three days after his entrance upon his business ; and several in that space of time learned to spell considerably. Some of them, since the beginning of Fcburary last, when the school was set up, have learned so much, that they are able to read in a Psalter or Testament, without spelling. — They are instructed twice a week in the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, on Wednesday and Saturday. Some of them since the latter end of Februai y, when they began, have learned to say it pretty distinctly by heart, considerably more than half through ; and most of them have made some proficiency in it. They are likewise instructed in the duty of secret prayer, and most of them constantly attend it night and morning, and are very careful to inform their master if they apprehend that any of their little schoolmates neglect that religious exercise. " IV. On the little appearance of false religion. "It is worthy to be noted, to the praise of sovereign grace, that amidst so great a work of conviction — so much concern and religious affection — there has been no prevalence, nor indeed any considerable appearance of false religion, if I may so term it, or heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and spiritual pride ; which corrupt mixtures too often attend the re- vival and powerful propagation of religion ; and that there have been very \^\\ instances of irregular and scandalous behavior among those who liave appeared serious. I may justly repeat what I formerly observed, that there has here been no appearance of 'bodily agonies, convulsions, frightful screamings, swoonings,' and the like ; and may now further add, that there has been no prevalence of visions, trances, and imaginations of iny kind ; although there has been some appearance of something of that nature; an instance of which I have given an account of in my diary for I'ecember 26. "But this work of grace has, in the main, been carried on with a sur- prising degree of purity, and frccdotn from trash ami corrupt mixture. fhe religious concern under which persons have been, has generally been 270 \ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. rational and just ; arising from a sense of their sins and exposedness to the divine displeasure on account of them ; as well as their utter inability to deliver themselves from the misery which they felt and feared. If there has been, in any instance, an appearance of concern and perturba- tion of mind, when the subjects of it knew not why; yet there has been no prevalence of any such thing ; and indeed I scarcely know of any instance of that nature at all. It is very remarkable, that, although the concern of many persons under convictions of their perishing state has been very great and pressing, yet I have never seen anything like desperation at- tending it in any one instance. They have had the most lively sense of their undoncness in themselves ; have been brought to give up all hopes of deliverance from themselves ; have experienced great distress and an- guish of soul ; and yet, in the seasons of the greatest extremity, there has been no appearance of despair in any of them, — nothing that has dis- couraged, or in anywise hindered them from the most diligent use of all pro- per means for their conversion and salvation. Hence it is apparent, that there is not that danger of persons being driven into despair under spirit- ual trouble, unless in cases of deep and habitual melancholy, which the world in general is ready to imagine. " The comfort which persons have obtained after their distresses, has '•'kewise in general appeared solid, well grounded, and scriptural ; arising from a spiritual and supernatural illumination of mind, — a view of divine things, in a measure, as they are, — a complacency of soul in the divine perfections, — and a peculiar satisfaction in the way of salvation by free sovereign grace in the great Redeemer. Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of views and considerations of divine things, although for substance the same. Some, who under conviction seemed to have the hardest struggles and heart risings against the divine sovereignty, have seemed, at the first dawn of their comfort, to rejoice in a peculiar manner in that divine perfection ; — and have been delighted to think that them- selves, and all things else, were in the hands of (xod, and that he would dispose of them 'just as he pleased.' "Others, who just before their reception of comfort have been re- markably oppressed with a sense of their undoneness and poverty, who have seen themselves, as it were, falling down into remediless perdition, have been at first more peculiarly delighted with a view of the freencss ap'' riches of divine grace, and the offer of salvation made to perishing sinners ' without money, and without price.' Some have at first appeared to rejoice especially in the wisdom of God, discovered in the way of salva- tion by Christ ; it then appearing to them 'a new and living way,' a way of which the had never thought, nor had any just conceptions, until opened to them by the special influence of the divine Si)irit. Some of them, upon a lively sporitual view of liiis way ol salvation, have wondered MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 271 at their past folly in seeking salvation in other ways, and have wondered that they never saw this way of salvation before, which now appeared so plain and easy, as well as excellent to them. " Others, again, have had a more general view of the beauty and ex- cellency of Christ, and have had their souls delighted with an apprehension of his divine glory, as unsjxiakably exceeding all of which they had ever conceived before ; yet, without singling out any one of the divine perfec- tions in particular ; so that although their comforts have seemed to arise from a variety of views and considerations of divine glories, still they were spiritual and supernatural views of them, and not groundless fancies, which were the spring of their joys and comforts. " Yet it must be acknowledged, that, when this work became so universal aiul prevalent, and gained such general credit and esteem among the In- dians as Satan seemed to have little advantage of working against it in his own proper garb, he then transformed himself ' into an angel of light,' and made some vigorous attempts to introduce turbulent commotions of the passions in the room of genuine convictions of sin, imaginary and fanciful notions of Christ, as appearing to the mental eye in a human shape, and in some particular postures, etc. in the room of spiritual and supernatural discoveries of his divine glory and excellency, as well as divers other delusions. I have reason to think, that, if these things had met with countenance and encouragement, there would have been a very considerable harvest of this kind of converts here. "Spiritual pride also discovered itself in various instances. Some persons who had been under great affections, seemed very desirous from thence of being thought truly gracious : who, when I could not but ex- press to them my fears respecting their spiritual state, discovered their resentments to a considerable degree upon that occasion. There also appeared in one or two of them an unbecoming ambition of being teachers of others. So that Satan has been a busy adversary here, as well as elsewhere. But blessed be God, though something of this nature has appeared, yet nothing of it has prevailed, nor indeed made any con- siderable progress at all. My people are now apprised of these things are made acquainted, that Satan in such a manner 'transformed himself into an angel of li^ht,' in the first season of the great outpouring of the divine Spirit in the days of the apostles ; and that .something of this na- ture, in a greater or less degree, has attended almost every revival and remarkable propagation of true religion ever since. They have learned so to distinguish between the gold and dross, that the credit of the latter 'is trodden down like the mire of the streets ; ' and, as it is natural for this kind of stuff to die with its credit, there is now scarce any ap- pearance of it among them. "As there has been no prevalence of irregular heats, imaginary no- 272 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 03 tions, spiritual pride, and Satanical delusions among my people ; so there have been very few instances of scandalous and irregular behavior among those who have made a profession, or even an appearance of serious- ness. I do not know ot more than three or four such persons who have been guilty of any open misconduct, since their first acquaintance with Christianity ; and not one who persists in anything of that nature. Per- haps the remarkable purity of this work in the latter respect, its freedom from frequent instances of scandal, is very much owing to its purity in the former rcsjicct, its freedom from corrupt mixtures of spirit lal pride, wild fire, and delusion, which naturally lay a foundation for scandalous practices. " May this blessed work in the power and purity of it prevail among the ]K)or Indians here, as well as spread elsewhere, till their remotest tribes shall sec the salvation of God ! Amen." [We subjoin here, in confirmation of Brainerd's own nar- rative, the following "Attestations" from ministers of emi- nence, living near the scene of his labors, and conversant with its character and results ; and also from the officers of the Presbyterian Church of Freehold, N. J. — J. M. S.] -m\ FROM REV. WILLIAM TENNENT. " Since my dear and Rev. Brother Brainerd, has at length consented to the publication of his Journal, I gladly embrace this opportunity of testifying, that our altogether glorious Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, has given such a display of his almighty power and sovereign grace, not only in the ex- ternal reformation but, [in a judgment of charity,] the saving conversion of a considerable number of Indians, that it is reallv wonderful to all beholders! ihouirh some, alas! not- withstanding sufiicient grounds of conviction to the contrary, do join with the devil, that avowed enemy of God and man, in endeavoring to prevent this glorious work, by such ways and means as are mentioned in the aforesaid Journal, to which 1 must refer the reader for a faithful, though very brief, account of the time when, the place where, the means by which, and manner how, this wished for work has been begun and carried on, by the great Head of the Church. This I MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 273 can the more confidently do, not only because I am mtimately acquainted with the author, but on account of my own personal knowledge of the matters of fact recorded in it respecting the work itself. As I live not far from the Indians, I have been .nuch conversant with them, both at their own place, and in my own parish, where they generally convene for public worship in Mr. Brainerd's absence ; and I think it my duty to acknowledge, that their conversation hath often, under God, refreshed my soul. " To conclude, it is my opinion, that the change wrought in those savages, namely, from the darkness of paganism, to the knowledge of the pure gospel of Christ ; from sacrificing to devils, to * present themselves, body and soul, a living sacrifice to God,' and that not only from the persuasion of their minister, but from a clear heart-affecting sense of its being their reasonable service ; this change I say is so great, that none could effect it but he * who worketh all things after the good pleasure of his own will.' I would humbly hope that this is only the first fruits of a much greater harvest to be brought in from among the Indians, by him, who has prom- ised to give his Son * the Heathen for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession : ' — who liath also declared, ' that the whole earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea. Even so, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen and amen. "I am, courteous reader, " thy soul's well-wisher, ■ " William Tennent. " Freehold, August 16, 1746." r.^ . FROM REV. CHARLES MACNIGHT. " As it must needs afTord a sacred pleasure to such as cordially desire the prosperity and advancement of the Redeemer's kingdom and interest in the world, to hear, that our merciful and gracious God is in very deed fulfilling such 274 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. precious promises as relate to the poor heathen, by sending! his everlasting gospel among them, which, with concurrence! of his holy Spirit, is removing that worse than Egyptian dark- ness, whereby the god of this world has long held them ir willing subjection ; so this narrative will perhaps be more| acceptable to the world, when it is confirmed by the testimony of such as were either eye-witnesses of this glorious dawno^ gospel-light among the benighted pagans, or personally acquainted with those of them, in whom, in a judgment o^ charity, a gracious change has been wrought. Therefore, the more willingly join with my brethren Mr. Willian Tennent, and Mr. Brainerd, in affixing m.y attestation tc the foregoing narrative ; and look upon myself as concerned in point of duty both to God and his people, to do so, because I live contiguous to their settlement, and have had frenuentj opportunities of being present at their religious meetings; where I have with pleasing wonder, beheld what I am strongl; inclined to believe were the effects of God's almighty powe^ accompanying his own truths ; more especially, on the 8tli day of August, 1745. While the word of God was preached by Mr. Brainerd, there appeared an uncommon solemnity among the Indians in general ; but, I am wholly unable ta give a full representation of the surprising effects of God's almighty power which appeared among them when publiij service was over. While Mr. Brainerd urged upon some o| them the absolute necessity of a speedy closure with Christ, the holy Spirit seemed to be poured out upon them in plenteous measure, insomuch as the Indians present in thd wigwam seemed to be brought to the jailer's case. Acts xviJ 30, utterly unable to conceal the distress and perplexity 0^ their souls. This prompted the pious among them to brinj the dispersed congregation together, who soon seemed to bd in the greatest extremity. Some were earnestly begging foj mercy, under a solemn sense of their perishing condition while others were unable to arise from the earth, to the greaj wonder of those white people that were present, one of when MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 275 is by this means, I trust, savingly brought to Chnst since. Nay, so very extraordinary was the concern which appeared among these poor Indians in general, that I am ready to con- clude, it might have been sufficient to have convinced an Atheist, that the Lord was indeed in the place. I am for my part, fully persuaded that this glorious work is true and genuine, while with satisfaction I behold several of these Indians discovering all the symptoms of inward holiness in their lives and conversation, i had the satisfaction of join- ing with them in their service on the nth of August, 1746: which was a day set apart for imploring the divine blessing on the labors of their minister among other tribes of Indians on the Susquehannah ; in all which they conducted themselves with a very decent and becoming gravity ; and as far as I am capable of judging, they may be proposed as examples of piety and godliness, to all the white people around them, which indeed is justly, * marvelous in our eyes,' especially consider- ing what they lately had been. Oh may the glorious God shortly bring about that desirable time, when our exalted Immanuel shall have the heathen given for his inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for his possession ! "Charles Macnight. "Crosswicks, August 20, 1746." FROM THE OFFICERS OF THE CHURCH OF FREEHOLD. "We whose names are underwritten, being elders and deacons of the Presbyterian Church in Freehold, do hereby testify, that in our humble opinion, God, even our Saviour, has brought a considerable number of the Indians in these parts to a saving union with himself. Of this we are per- suaded from a personal acquaintance with them ; whom we not only hear speak of the great doctrines of the gospel with humility, affection, and understanding, but we see walk, as far as man can judge, soberly, righteously, and godly. We have joined with them at the Lord's supper, and do from our 276 MEMOIRS OF PKAINERD. hearts esteem them as our brethren in Jesus. For these who were not God's people, may now be called the children of the living God ; ' it is the Lord's doing, and it is marvelous m our eyes.* Oh that he may go on 'conquering and to con- quer,' until he has subdued all things to himself ! This is and shall be the unfeigned desire and prayer of, til ^1 William Ker, Samuel Kkr, Samuel Craig. "Walter Ker, Robert Cummins, David Rhe, John Henderson, John Anderson, Joseph Ker, "Presbyterian Church, Freehold, Aug. 16, 1746." MEMOIRS OF DRAINERD, m CHAPTER XII. Final stage of Brainerd's Missionary Work.— Visits the Susquehanna, and up among the Delawares. — Returns to Cranberry very much prostrated.— Continues liis Work in great bodily Weakness and Suffering. The hardships which Brainerd had endured, had now obvi- ously affected his constitution ; and unfitted him for a life of so much toil and exposure. Of this, he appears not to have been aware, until the case had become hopeless ; and unfor- tunately, the circumstances, in which he was placed, were calculated instead of retarding, to hasten the ravages of disease. He lived alone, in the midst of a wilderness ; in a miserable hut, built by Indians ; with few of the necessaries, and none of the comforts of life ; at a distance from civilized society ; without even a nurse or a physician. His labors, also, were sufficient to have impaired a vigorous constitution. It is not surprising, therefore, that his health was gradually, but fatally undermined. On June 20th, as well as on the next day, he was very ill ; though, with great effort, he was enabled to preach to his people on Saturday. His illness continued on the Sabbath, but he preached, notwithstanding, to his people both parts of the day ; and after the public worship was ended, he endeavored to apply divine truths to the consciences ^^ some, and addressed them personally for that end ; several were in tears, and some appeared much affected. But he was ex- tremely wearied with the services of the day, and so ill at night, that he could have no bodily rest ; but remarks, that " God was his support, and that he was not left destitute of comfort in him." On Monday he continued very ill ; but speaks of his mind being calm and composed, resigned to the divine dispensations, and content with his feeble state. By the account which he gives of himself, the remaining part of this 278 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, week, he conllniicd very feeble, and for the mosl part dejected in mind, lie enjoyed no great freedom nor sweetness in spiritual things ; except that for some very short spaces of time he had refreshment and encouragement, which engaged his heart on divine things ; and sometimes his heart was melted with spiritual affection. *' LoriFs day ^ June 29. Preached both parts of the day, from John xiv. 19: 'Yet a little while, and the world secth me no more.' (iod was pleased to assist mc, to afford me both freedom and power, especially to- wards the close of my discourse, both forenoon and afternoon. (}od's power appeared in the assembly, in both exercises. Numbers of (lod's people were refreshed and melted with divine things ; one or two com- forted, who had been long under distress ; convictions, 'n divers in- stances, powerfully revived ; and one man in years much awakened, who had not long fre(|uented our meeting, and appeared before as stupid as a stock. God amazingly renewed and lengthened out my strength. I was so spent at noon, that I could scarce walk, and all my joints trembled ; so that I could not sit, nor so much as hold my hand still ; and yet God strengthened me to preach with power in the afternoon ; although I had given out word to my people, that I did not expect to be able to do it. Spent some time afterward in conversing, particularly, with several per- sons about their spiritual state ; ;uid had some satisfaction concerning one or two. Prayed afterwards with a sick child, and pave a word of exhor- tation. Was assisted in all my work. Blessed be God. Returned home with more health, than I went out with ; although my linen was wringing wet upon me, from a little after ten in the morning, till past five in the afternoon. My spirits also were considerably refreshed ; and my soul re- joiced in hope, that I had through grace done something for God. In the evening, walked out, and enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer and praise. But oh, I found the truth of the Psalmist's words, ' My good- ness extendeth not to thee ! ' I could not make any returns to God ; I longed to live only to him, and to be in tune for his praise and service for ever. Oh, for spirituality and holy fervency, that 1 might spend and be spent for God to my latest moment ! "June 30. Spent the day in writing ; but under much weakness and disorder. Felt the labors of the preceding day ; although my spirits were so refreshed the evening before, that I was not then sensible of my being spent.— July I. In the afternoon, visited and preached to my people, from Heb. ix. 27: 'And as it is appointed unto men once to die, etc., on occasion of some person's lying at the point of death, in my con- gregation. God gave me some assistance ; and his word made some im- pressions on the audience, in general. This was an agreeable and com. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 279 [lortable evening to my soul ; my spirits were somewhat refreshed, with [jjinaH degree of freedom and Iielp enjoyed in my work." On Wednesday he went to Newark, to a meeting of the [presbytery ; complains of lowness of spirits ; and greatly laments his spending his time so unfruitfuUy, The re- Laining part of the week he spent there, and at Elizabeth- ;own ; and speaks of comfort and divine assistance, from day to day ; but yet greatly complains for want of more I spirituality. ^'^ Lor d^s day, July 6. [At Elizabethtown.] Enjoyed some compos- lare and serenity of mind, in the morning; heard Mr. Dickinson preach, in the forenoon, and was refreshed with his discourse; was in a melting fame some part of the time of sermon ; partook of the Lord's supper, and enjoyed some sense of divine things in that ordinance. In the after- noon I preached from Ezek. xxxiii. 11 : ' As I live, saith the Lord (lod,' ttc, God favored me with freedom and fervency, and helped me to I plead his cause beyond my own power.' "/w/y 7. My spirits were considerably refreshed and raised in the I morning. There is no comfort, I find, in any enjoyment, without enjoy- ing God, and being engaged in his service. In the evening, had the most agreeable conversation which I remember in all my life, upon God's being all in all, and all enjoyments being just that to us which God makes ibem, and no more. It is good to begin and end with God. Oh how I does a sweet solemnity lay a foundation for true pleasure and happiness I "/«/y 8. Rode home, and enjoyed some agreeable meditations by I the way. — July 9. Spent the day in writing, enjoyed some comfort and refreshing of spirit in my evening retirement. — July 10. Spent most of tlie day in writing. Towards night rode to Mr. Tennant's ; enjoyed some agreeable conversation; went home in the evening, in a solemn, sweet Irame of mind ; was refreshed in secret duties, longed to live wholly and only for God, and saw plainly there was nothing in the world worthy of my affection ; so that my heart was dead to all below ; yet not through I dejection, as at some times, but from views of a better inheritance. ^^July n. Was in a calm, composed frame, in the morning, especi- ally ii\ the season of my secret retirement. I think, that I was well pleased with the will of God, whatever it was, or should be, in all re- spects of which I had then any thought. Intending to administer the [Lord's supper the next Lord's day, I looked to God for his presence and I issistance upon that occasion ; but felt a disposition to say, * The will of the Lord be done,' whether it be to give me assistance, or not. Spent 2So MEMOIRS OF BRA! NERD. % some little time in writing ; visited the Inc''ans, spent some time in ser- ious conversation with them ; thinking it not best to preach, many of them being absent. '•'■July 12. This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my congrega- tion, as preparatory to the sacrament. I discoursed, both parts of the day, from Rom. iv. 25 : * Who was delivered for our offences,' etc. God gave me some assistance in my discourses, and something of divine power attended the word ; so that this was an agreeable season. After- wards led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, and fre.«;h dedica- tion of themselves to God. This was a season both of solemnity and sweetness, and God seemed to be ' in the midst of us.' Returned to my lodgings, in the evening, in a comfortable frame of mind. ** Lord's day, July \y In the forenoon, discoursed on the bread of life, from John vi. 35. God gave me some assistance, in part of my dis- course especially ; and there appeared some tender affection in the as- sembly under divine truths ; my soul also was somewhat refreshed. Ad- ministered the sacrament of the Lord's supper to thirty-one persons of the Indians. God seemed to be present in this ordinance ; the communi- cants were sweetly melted and refreshed, most of them. (~)h how they melted, even when the elements were first uncovered ! Tliere was scarcely a dry eye among Ihcni, when I took off the linen, and showed them the symbols of Christ's broken body. Having rested a little, after the administration of the sacrament, I visited the communicants, and found them generally in a sweet loving frame ; not unlike what appeared among them on the former sacramental occasion, on April 27. In the afternoon, discoursed upon coming to Christ, and the satisfaction of those who do so, from the same verse I insisted on in the forenoon. This was likewise an agreeable season, a season of much tenderness, affection, and enlargement in divine service ; and God, I am persuaded, crowned our assembly with his divine presence. I returned home much spent, yet rejoicing in the goodness of God. "July 14. Went to my people, anu discoursed to them from Psal. cxix. 106 : * I have sworn, and I will perform it,' etc. Observed, i. That all God's judgments or commandments are righteous. 2. Thai Clod's people have sworn to keep them ; and this they do especially at the Lord's t?.ble. There appeared to be a powerful divine influence on tlie assembly, and considc iblc melting under the word. Afterwards. I led them to a renewal of their covenant before God, that they would watch over them- selves and one another, lest they should fall into sin and dishonor the name of Christ, just as I did on Monday, April 28. This transaction was attended w ;h great solemnity : and God seemed to own it by exciting in them a fear and jealousy of themselves, lest they should sin against God; MEMOIRS OF BRAINEPD. 2%\ ome time in ser- prcacli, many ot r by my congrega- Doth parts of the iir offences,' etc. mething of divine e season. After- and fresh dedica- of solemnity and IS.' Returned to lind. on the bread of in part of ray dis- Ffection in the as- it refreshed. Ad- ty-one persons of ce ; the communi- n. (~)h how they red ! There was inen, and showed isted a little, after Mumunicants, and ke what appeared April 27. In the le satisfaction of n the forenoon, much tenderness, I am persuaded, irned home much them from Psal. )bservcd, t. That 2, That Cod's ially atthe Lord's c on the assembly, , I led them to a watch over tliem- md dishonor the is transaction was M it by exciting in sin against God; 30 that the presence of God seemed to be amongst tis in tins conclusion of the sacramental solemnity." The next day he set out on a journey to Philadelphia ; and he did not return till Saturday. He went this journey, and .spent the week, under a great ckgree ot illness of body and dejection of mind. " LofiVs day, July 20. Preached twice to my people fewa lohn xvii. 24: ' Father, I will that they also whom thou has given me, lie with me, where I am, that they may behold my i;l<*ry, which thou h;ist given me.' Was helped to discourse with great clearix-ss and plainness in the fore- noon. In the afternoon, enjoynl some tenderness, and spake with some influence. Numbers were in 'jars ; and some, to appearance, in dis- tress. "July 21. Preached to the Indians, chiefly f; r the sake of some strangers ; proposed my design of taking a journey speedily to the Sus- quehannah ; exhorted my people to pray for me, that God would be with MIC in that journey ; and then chose divers persons of the congregation to travel with me. Afterwards, spent some time in discoursing to 'be strangers, and was somewhat encouraged with them. Took care of my people's secular business, and was not a little ^'xercised with it. Had some degree of comi)osure and comfort in secret retirement. — July 22. Was in a dejected frame, most of the day ; wanted to wear out life, and have it at an end ; but had some desires of living to God, and wearing out life for him. O that I could indeed do so ! " The next day he went to P^iizabethtown, to a meeting of Presbytery ; and spent this, and Thursday and a part of Fri- day, under a very great degree of melancholy, and gloomi- ness of mind, not through any fear of future punishment, but as being distressed with a senselessness of all good, so that the whole world a(3pear«;(l empty and gloomy to him. In the latter part of Friday he was g;really relieved and com- forted. '''July 26. Was comfortable in the morning ; my countenance and heart were not sad, as in days past ; enjoyed son.e sweetness in lifting up my heart io CJcd. Rode home to my people, and was in a comfortable, pleasant frame by the way ; my spirits were much rcli' "cd of their burden, ami I felt free to go through all dltiiculties and labors in my Master's service. ''Lord's Jay, July 27. Discoursed to my people in the forenoon, from 28: MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. Luke xii. 37, on the duty and benefit of watching. God helped me in the latter part of my aiscourse, and the power of God appeared in the assembly. In the afternoon, discoursed from Luke xiii. 25, ' When once the master of the house is risen up,' etc. Here also I enjoyed some as- sistance ; and the Spirit of God seemed to attend what was spoken, so that there was a great solemnity, and some tears among Indians and others. ^'^ July ?8. Was very weak, and scarce able to perform any business at all ; but enjoyed sweetness and comfort in prayer, both morning and evening ; and was composed and comfortable through the day. My mind was intense, and my heart fervent, at least in some degree, in secret duties ; and I longed to spend and be spent for God. ^^ July 29. My mind was cheerful, and free from the melancholy, with which I am often exercised ; had freedom in looking up to God, at various times in the day. In the evening, I enjoyed a comfortable sea- son in secret prayer ; was helped to pler»d with God for my own dear people, that he would carry on his own blessed work among them ; was assisted also in praying for the divine presence to attend me in my in- tended journey to the Susquehannah ; and was helped to remember dear brethren and friends in New England. I scarce knew how to leave the throne of grace, and it grieved me that I was obliged to go to bed ; I longed to do something for God, but knew not how. Blessed be God for this freedom from dejection. *^ July 30. Was uncommonly comfortable, both in body and mind ; in the forenoon especially, my mind was solemn; I was assisted in my work ; and God seemed to be near to me ; so that the day was as com- fortable as most I have enjoyed for some time. In the evening, was favored with assistance in secret prayer, and felt much as I did the even- ing before. Blessed be God for that freedom I then enjoyed at the throne of grace, for myself, my people, and my dear friends. It is good for me to draw near to God. " Au^. I. In the evening, enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer ; clouds of darkness and perplexing care were sweetly scattered, and nothing anxious remained. O how serene was my mind at this season 1 how free from that distracting concern I have often felt ! ' Thy will be done,' was a petition sweet to my soul ; and if God had bidden me choose for myself in any aftair, I should have chosen rather to have referred the choico to him ; for I saw he was infinitely wise, and could not do any- thing amiss, as I was in danger of doing. Was assisted in prayer for my dear flock, that God would promote his own work among them, and that God would go with me in my intended journey to the Susquehannah ; was helped to remember my dear friends in New England, and my dear brethren in the ministry. I found enough in the sweet duty of prayer to HliJWJUl— MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 283 elped me in ;ared in the 'When once red some as- s spoken, so Indians and : melancholy, ap to God, at nfortable sea- my own dear ig them; was me in my in- emember dear iw to leave the go to bed; I essed be God dy and mind ; assisted in my ^y was as corn- evening, was did the evcn- d at the throne s good for me secret prayer; scattered, and It this season! ' Thy will be iden me choose vc referred the Id not do any- prayer for my them, and that ^usquehannah ; cl, and my dear ■uty of prayer to have engaged me to continue in it the whole night, would my bodily iiate have admitted of it. O how sweet it is, to be enabled heartily to Icav, Lord, not my will, but thine be done. '^ Atig. 2. Near night, preached from Matt. xi. 29, ' Take my yoke japon you, etc' Was considerably helped ; and the prc.cnce of God Uemed to be somewhat remarkably in the assembly ; divine truths made Ipowerful impressions, both upon saints and sinners, liltsscd be God for siich a revival among us. In the evening was very weary, but found my I spirits supported and refreshed. ^^ LonPs day, Aug. 3. Discoursed to my people, in the forenoon, Ifrom Col. iii. 4. and observed, that Christ is the believer's Life. God Itelped me, and gave me his presence in thij discourse ; and it was a Iseason of considerable power to the assembly. In the afternoon, [preached from Luke xi.\. 41, 42, 'And when he was come near, he be- Ikeld the city,' etc. I enjoyed some assistance ; though not so much as in line forenoon. In the evening I enjoyed freedom and sweetness in secret Iprayer; God enlarged my heart, freed me from melancholy damps, and Ipve me satisfaction in drawing near to himself. Oh that my soul could linagnify the Lord, for these seasons of composure and resignation to his liiil. '•'■ Aug. 4. Spent the day in writing; enjoyed much freedom and iKistar.ce in my work ; was in a composed and comfortable frame, most ■of the day ; and in the evening enjoyed some sweetness in prayer. iiesscd be God, my spirits were yet up, and I was free from sinking lianips ; as I have been in general ever since I came from Elizabethtown |ijt. O what a mercy is this I "Aug. 5. Towards night, preached at the funeral of one of my ftristians, from I«. Ivii. 2, ' He shall enter into peace, etc. I was op- jiressed with the nervous headache, and considerably dejected ; however, W a little freedom, some part of the time I was discoursing. Was ex- temely weary in the evening ; but notwithstanding, enjoyed some liberty Eid cheerfulness of mind in prayer ; and found the dejection that 1 feared, hch removed, and my spirits considerably refreshed. ^^ Aug. 7. Rode to my house, where I spent the last winter, in order 'bring some things I needed for my Susquehannah journey; was re- Nied to see that place, which God so marvellously visited with the lowers of his grace. O how amazing did the power of God often ap- ar there I Bless the Lord, i ) my soul, and forget not all his benefits. '^ Aug. 9. In the afternoon, visited my people; set their affairs in Ner, as much as possible, and contrived for ihem the management of pir worldly business ; discoursed to them in a .solemn manner and con- Ned with prayer. Was comfortable in the evening, and somewhat ier- 284 MEMO/fiS O/f fiRJUNZHD. vent in secret prayer ; had some ^ItumP- ax%4 /^w o€ tfcr eternal world and found a serenif/ of mind. O that I f^ouid mdy/tify the Lord for any fice- dom which he iaffords ine in prayer! *' Lord's day, Au^. 10. Discoursed to my people, Jz-yth parts of the day, from Acts iii, 19, ' Repent ye therefore,' etc. In discoursing of repentance, in the forenoon, God helped me, so that my discourse was searching ; some were in tears, both of ihe Indians and white people, and the word of God was attended with some power. In the intermis- sion, J was engaged in discoursing to some in order to their baptism ; as 'jvell as with one who had then lately met with some comfort, after spiritual trouble and distress. In the afternoon, was somewhat assisted again, though weak and weary. Afterwards baptized six persons ; three adults and three children. Was in a comfortable frame in the evening, and enjoyed some s^atisfaction m secret prayer. I scarce ever in my life felt mjt*^ so full of tervderness, as this day. "Aug. tf. JBeing abo<)/ to set out on a journey to the Susquehannah the neap tlMHiiy the poor Indians in the wilderness. While I was opening vi^ J fj ^y klig pMt of the cxtV ;im1 iid Psalms, the powei of God seemed to ^*c€«d oh the a««cmblv u sonne measUiC ; and while I was making the first [>r»yer, num^)ers wen. melted, and found some affoition- ate enlargement of .H*"/*/ myself Treached frooa Acts iv. ji, 'And when they had prayed the place was staken,' etc. God helped me, and my in- terpreter also ; there wa« a shaking and melting among us ; and divers, I doubt not, w^re in »'>me measure ' filled with the Holy Ghost.' After- wards, Mr. i^'Mt^f^t prayed ; and I t' en opened the two last stanzas ot the jxxiid P^alm ; ii* which time God waH present witli us; especially while / insisted np'/n th* promise of all nations blessing the great Re- deem*!', My soirf >ra« refreshed to think that this day, this blessed glorious )^'4>i'mf sbo«l4 (nirely come ; and, I trust, numbers of mv dear people were aW/ ^/'freshed. Afterwards prayed ; had some freed»>m, ''iit was almost sper»# ; then walked out, and left my people to carry nr. reli- gious exercises among themselves. They prayed repeatedly, anc* sung, while I rested and refreshed myself. Afterwards, went to the meeting, prayed with, and dismissed the assembly. Blessed be God, this has heer a day of grace. There were many tears and affectionate sobs among us this day. In the vening, 'uy soul was refreshed in ])rayer ; enjoyed liberty at the thronv of grace, in praving for my people and friends, and the Church of God in general. Bless the Lord, O my soul." The nc»l day he set out on his journey to the Susque- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 585 rn the Susque- hannah, with six of his Christian Indians with him, whom he had chosen out of his congregation as those he judged most fit to assist in the business he was going upon. He took his way through Philadelphia ; intending to go to the Susquehaii- nah far down, where it is settled by the white people, and so to travel up the river to the Indian habitations. This was- much farther about, yet he avoided the mountains, and hideous wilderness, that he had encountered in the nearer ways. He rode this week as far as Charlestown, about thirty miles west- ward of Philadelphia, where he arrived on Friday ; and in his way hither, was, for the most part, in a composed, com- fortable state of mind. " Aug. 16. [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by the people of the place where I now was, as preparatory to the celebration of the Lord's supper, I tarried ; heard Mr. Treat preach ; and then preached myself, ("lod gave me some good degree of freedom, and helped me to discourse with warmth and applicat'on, to the conscience. Afterwards, I was re- fre-'icd in spirit, thfiugh much tried ; and spent the evening agreeably, havmg some freedom in prayor, as well as CI' ian conversation. " T orcfs day, Auf^. 17. Enjoyed liberty, coirposure, and satisfaction, lit I hi' Hetret duties uf the morning ; had my heart somewhat enlarged in prayer for dent ft iends, as well as for myself In the forenoon attended Mr. Treat's preaching, partook of the Lord's supper, five of my people als(> communicating in this holy ordinance ; I enjoyed some enlargement ami outgoing of soul in this season. In the afternoon preached from Ezek. xxxiii. 1 1, ' Say unto them, as I live, saith the Lord God,' etc. Enjoyed not so much sensible assistance as the day before ; however, was helped to some fervency in addressing immortal souls. Was somewhat confounded in tht evening, because I thought I had done little or nothing for God , yet enjoyed some refreshment ut spirit in Christian conversation and prayer. Spent the evening till near midnight, iii religious exercises ; and found my bodily strength, which was much spent when I came from the public w<»rship, something renewed before I went to bed. " Aug, 18. Rode on my wny towards Paxton, on the Susquehannah. Felt my «|>lill'< sink tiiwards night, so that I had little comfort. — Aug. ig. Rode forward still ; and at night lodged by the side of the Si'..r.tjuchannah. V/as weak and disordered both this and the preceding day, and foinid my spirits considerably damped, meeting with none that I thought godly people. " Aug. ao. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I 'oughcd much 286 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 2 bloody matter this morning, and was under great disorder of body, and not a little melancholy ; but what gave me some encouragement was, I had a secret hope that I might speedily get a dismission from earth, and ! all its toils and sorrows. Rode this day to one Chamber's, upon the Susquehannah, and there lodged. Was much aftlicted in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drinking, swearing, etc. O what a hell would itbe, I to be numbered with the ungodly ! Enjoyed some agreeable conversation | with a traveller, who seemed to have some relish of true religion. "Aug. 21. Rode up the river about fifteen miles and there lodged in a family which appeared quite destitute of God. Labored to dis-l course with the man about the life of leligion, but found him very artful in evading such conversation. O what a death it is to some, to hear of I the things of God ! Was out of my element ; but was not so dejected as at some times. " Aug. 22. Continued my course up the river ; my people now be- j ing with me, who before were parted from me ; travelled above all the ' English settlements ; at night lodged in the open woods and slept with : more comfort than while among an ungodly company of white people. Enjoyed some liberty in secret prayer, this evening ; and was helped to j remember dear friends, as well as my dear flock, and the church of God ] in general. " Aug. 23. Arrived at the Indian town, called Shaumoking, near | night, was not so dejected as formerly ; but yet somewhat exercised. Felt somewhat composed in the evening ; enjoyed some freedom in leav-j ing my all with God. Through the great goodness of God, I enjoyed some liberty of mind; and was not distressed with a despondency, as j frequently heretofore. '* LoriVs day, Aug. 24. Towards noon, visited some of the Delawares, | and discoursed with them about Christianity. In the afternoon dis- coursed to the king, and others, upon divine things ; who seemed dis- j posed to hear. Spent most of the day in these exercises. In the even- ing enjoyed some comfort and satisfaction ; and especially had some j sweetness in secret prayer. This duty was made so agreeable to me, that I loved to walk abroad, and repeatedly engage in it. Oh, how com- fortable is a little glimp&e of God I " Aug. 25. Spent most of the day in writing. Sent out my people j that were witli me, to talk with the Indians, and contract a fricndshi] and familiarity with them, that I might have a better opportunity of j treating with them about Christianity. Some good seemed to be done by j their visit this day, divers appeared willing to hearken to Christianity, My spirits vere a little refreshed this evening ; and I found some liberty j and satisfaction in prayer. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 287 )rder of body, and juragement was, I on from earth, and 1 amber's, upon the| ;d in the evening, t a hell would itbe, 1 ;eable conversation] ue religion. > and there lodged . Labored to dis- ;nd him very artful to some, to hear of 5 not so dejected as j my people now be- 'died above all the j ods and slept with j y of white people. and was helped to I [ the church of God | Shaumoking, near I )mewhat exercised. ne freedom in leav- j of God, I enjoyed a despondency, as e of the Delawarcs, ] the afternoon dis- who seemed dis- ises. In the even- pecially had some] agreeable to me, it. Oh, how com- ment out my people I iitract a friendship 1 tter opportunity of emed to be done by j ;en to Christianity. found some liberty j '''Aug. 26. About noon, discoursed to a considerable number of In- dians. God helped me, I am persuaded ; for I was enabled to speak with much plainness, and some warmth and power ; and the discourse had impression upon some, and made them appear very serious. I thought things now appeared as encouraging, as they did at Crossweeks, At the time of my first visit to those Indians, I was a little encouraged ; I pressed things with all my might ; and called out my people, who were then present, to give in their testimony for God ; which they did. To- wards night, was refreshed ; had a heart to pray for the setting up of God's kingdom here, as well as for my dear congregation below, and my dear friends elsewhere. " Aug. 27. There having been a thick smoke in the house where I lodged all night before, whereby I was almost choked, I was this morn- ing distressed with pains in my head and neck, and could have no rest. In the morning, the smoke was still the same ; and a cold easterly storra gathering, I could neither live within doors, nor without, a long time to- gether. I was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, and in the house distressed with the smoke. I was this day in great distress, and had not health enough to do anything to any purpose. " Aug. 28. In the afternoon, I was under great concern of mind about my work. Was visited by some who desired to hear me preach ; discoursed to them, in the afternoon, with some fervency, and labored to persuade them to turn to God. Was full of concern for the kingdom of Christ, and found some enlargement of soul in prayer, both in secret and in my family. Scarce jver saw more clearly, than this day, that it is God's work to convert souls, and especially poor heathens. I knew, I could not touch them ; I saw I could only speak to dry bones, but could give them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help ; I could say the work was his ; and if done, the glory would be his. " Aug. 29. Felt the same concern of mind, as the day before. En- joyed some freedom in prayer, and a satisfaction to leave all with God. Travelled to the Delawares, found few at home, felt poorly; but was able to spend some time alone in reading God's word and in prayer, and en^ joyed some sweetness in these exercises. In the evening, was assisted repeatedly in prayer, and found some comfort in coming to the throne of grace. — Aug. 30. Spent the forenoon in visiting a trader, who came down the river sick ; and who appeared as ignorant as any Indian. In the afternoon spent some time in reading, writing, and prayer. " Lord's day, Aug. 31. Spent much time in the morning in secret duties ; found a weight upon my spirits, and could nor. but cry to God with concern and engagement of soul. Spent some time also in reading and expounding God's word to my dear family which was with me, as well as iu singing and prayer with thcni. Afterwards spake the word of God, 288 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. JJ ^ to some few of the Susquchannah Indians. In the afternoon, felt very weak and feeble. Near night, was somewhat refreshed in mind, with some views of things relating to my great work. O how heavy is niy work, when faith cannot take hold of an almighty arm, for the perform- ance of it ! Many times have I been ready to sink in this case. Blessed be God that I may repair to a full fountain .'' " Se/>i. I. Set out on a journey towards a place called The Great Is- land, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, on the northwestern branch of the Susquchannah. Travelled some part of the way, and at night lodged in the woods. Was exceedingly feeble this day, and sweat much the night following. *' Se/>i. 2. Rode forward ; but no faster than my people went on foot. Was very weak, on this as well as the preceding days. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie out in the open air ; and some of our company being parted from us, so that we now had no axe with us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the blanches, and so made a shelter from the dew. But the evening being cloudy, and very likely for rain, I was still under fears of being extremely exposed ; sweat much in the night so that my linen was almost wringing wet all night. I scarcely ever was more weak and weary, than this evening, when I was able to sit up at all. This was a melan- choly situation I was in ; but I endeavored to quiet myself with consider- ations of the possibility of my being in much worse circumstances, among enemies, etc. " Sepf. 3. Rode to the Delaware-town ; found divers drinking and drunken. Discoursed with some of the Indians about Christianity ; ob- served my interpreter much engaged and assisted in his work ; some few persons seemed to hear with great earnestness and engagement of soul. About noon, rode to a small town of Shauwaunoes, about eight miles dis- tant ; spent an hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware-town, and lodged there. Was scarce ever more confounded with a sense of my own unfruitfulness and unfitness for my work, than now. O what a dead, heartless, barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to be ! My spirits were so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, that I could do nothing at all. At length, being much overdone, lay down on a buffnlo- skin ; but sweat much the whole night. " Sepf. 4. Discoursed with the Indians, in the morning, about Chris- tianity ; my interpreter, afterwards, carrying on the discourse to a con- siderable length. .Some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat af- fected. Left this place, and returned towards Shaumoking ; and at night lodged in the place where 1 lodged the Monday night before ; was in very uncomfortable circumstances in the evening, my people being belated, and not coming to me till past ten at night ; so that I had no fire to dress MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 589 id no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm, or to keep off wild beasts ; and I was scarce evermore weak and worn out in all my life. However, I lay down and slept before my people came up, expecting nothing else but to spend the whole night alone, and without fire. " Sept. 5. Was exceeding weak, so that I could scarcely ride ; it seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse, and lie in the open woods ; however, got to Shaumoking, towards niyht ; felt somewhat of a spirit of thankfulness, that God had so far returned to me; was refreshed to see one of my Christians, whom I left here in •ny late excursion. " Sept. 6. Spent the day in a very weak state ; coughing and spitting blood, and having little appetite for any food I had with me ; was able to do very little, except discourse a while of divine things to my own people, and to some few I met with. Had, by this time, very little life or heart to speak for God, through feebleness < > bou' . and tl.i . uess of spirits. Was scarcely ever more ashamed and co, fo"ndc in myself, than now. I was sensible, that there were numbers of io,d's people, who knew I was then out upon a design, or at least the pretence of doing something for God, and in his cause, among the poor Indians ; and they were ready to suppose, that I was fervent in spirit ; but O the heartless frame of m'nd that I felt I filled me with confusion ! C) methought if God's people knew me, as God knows, they would not think so highly of my zeal and resolution for God, as perhaps now they do ! I could not but desire they should see how heartless and irresolute I was, that they might be undeceived, and ' not think of me above what they ought to think.' And yet I thought, if they I saw the utmost of my flatness and unfaithfulness, the smallness of my courage and resolution for God, they would be ready to shut me out of their doors, as unworthy of the company or friendship of Christians. " LonVs day, Sept. 7. Was much in the same weak state of body, and I afflicted frame of mind, as in the preceding day; my soul was grieved, and mourned that I could do nothing for God. Read and expounded some I part of God's word to my own dear family, and spent some time in prayer iith them ; discoursed a'so a little to the pagans ; but spent the Sabbath I with a little comfort. ''■Sep. 8. Spent the forenoon among the Indians; in the afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river, a few miles. Had pro- I posed to have tarried a considerable time longer among the Indians upon the Susquehannah ; but was hindered from pursuing my purpose by the sickness that prevailed there, the weakly circumstances of my own people that were with me, and especially my own extraordinary weakness having fceu exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood, almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of the time .so feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to reach home; and at the same time very destitute of the comforts, and even the neces- •.()0 Ma^moirs of brainerd. sarics of life ; at least, what was necessary for one in so weak a state. In this journey 1 sometimes was enabled to speak the word of God with some power, and divine truths made some impressions on clivers whu heard me ; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed to cleave to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity ; but others mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly, at least sonm of tb-m. Yet God, at times, was evidently present, assist- ing me, my interpreter, and other dear friends who were with me. God gave, sometimes, a good degree of freedom in prayer for the ingathering of souls there ; and I could not but entertain a stron^-j hope, that the journey should not be wholly fruitless. Whether the issue of it wouklhe the setting up of Christ's kingdom there, or only the drawing of some few persons down to my congregation in New Jersey ; or whether they were now only being prepared for some further attempts, that might be made among them, I did not determine ; but I was persuaded, the journey would not be lost. IJlessed be God, that I had any encouragement and hope. " Sept. 9. Rode down the river, near thirty miles. Was extremely weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunderstorm. Discoursed with some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the life and power of religion; what were, and what were not the evidences of it. They seemed much astonished, when they saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks at dinner ; concluding that a very high evidence of grace in them ; but were astonished, when I insisted that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure evidence of grace. O the ignorance of the world I How are some empty outward forms, that may all be entirely selfish, mistaken for true religion, infallible evidences of it. The Lord pity a deluded world ! "Sept. 10. Rode near twenty miles homeward. Was much solicited to preach, but was utterly unable, through bodily weakness. Was ex- tremely overdone with the heat and showers this day, and coughed up a considerable quantity of blood. — Sept. 11. Rode homeward ; but was very weak, and sometimes scarcely able to ride. I lad a very im]K)rtiinate invitation to preach at a meeting-house I came by, the people being then gathering; but could not, by reason of weakness. Was resigned and composed under my weakness; but was much exercised with concern for my companions in travel, whom T had left with much regret, some lame, and some sick. — Sept. 12. Rode about fifty miles; and came, just at night, to a Christi.m friend's house, about twenty-five miles westward from Philadelphia. Was courteously received, and kindly entertained, and found myself much refreshed in the midst of my weakness and fatigues. —Sept. 13. Was still agreeably entertained with Christian friendship, and all things necessary for my weak circumstances. In the afternoon, heard MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 391 Mr. Treat preach ; and was refreshed "i conversation with him in the evening. " f.oriFs day, Sept. 14. At the desire of Mr. Treat and the people, I preached both parts of the day from Luke xiv. 23. And tlie Lord said unto the servant, go out, etc. God gave me some freedom and warmth in my discourse ; and I trust, helped me in some measure to labor in singleness of heart. Was much tired in the evening, but was comforted with the most tender treatment I ever met with in my life. My mind, through the whole of this day, was exceeding calm; and I could ask for nothing in prayer, with any encouragement of soul, but that ' the will of God might be done.' "Sept. 15. Spent the whole day, in concert with Mr. Treat, in en- deavors to compose a difference, subsisting between certain persons in the congregation where we now were ; and there seemed to be a blessing on our endeavors. In the evening, baptized a child; was in a calm, com- posed frame ; and enjoyed, I trust, a spiritual sense of divine things, while adminstering the ordinance. Afterwards, spent the time in reli- gious conversation, till late in the night. This was indeed a pleasant, agreeable evening. "Sept. 16. Continue(? still at my friend's house, about twenty-five miles westward of Philadelphia. Was very weak, unable to perform any business, and scarcely able to sit up. — Sept. 17. Rode into Philadcljihia. Still very weak, and my cough and spitting of blood continued. Enjoyed .some agreeable conversation with friends, but wanted more spirituality. ^^ Sept. 18. Went from Philadelphia to Mr. Treat's ; was agreeably entertained on the road ; and was in a sweet, composed frame in the evening. — Sept. 19. Rode from Mr. Treat's to Mr. Stockston's, at Princeton : was extremely weak, but kindly received and entertained. Spent the evening with some degree of satisfaction. " Sept. 20. Arrived among my own people, near Cranberry, just at night ; found them praying together ; went in, and gave them some ac- count of God's dealings with me and my companions in the journey; which seemed affecting to them. I then prayed with them, and thought the divine presence was amongst us ; divers were melted into tears, and seemed to have a sense of divine things. Being very weak, I was obliged soon to repair to my lodgings, and felt much worn out, in the evening. Thus God has carried me through the fatigues and perils of another journey to the .Susquehannah, and returned me again in safety, though under a great degree of bodily indisposition. Oh that my soul were truly thankful for renewed instances of mercy! Many iKirdships and dis- frcs.ses I endured in this journey, but the Lord supported me under them all." Hitherto Brainerd had kept a constant diary, giving an IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET {MT-3) y. J #. ^ 1.0 I.I 1.25 2.0 1^ b£ 1.4 1= 1.6 V] <^ /a ^;. c-: *^ /;rx) o / PhotogTdpliic Sciences Corpcration 'a3 west main STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14S80 (716) 872-4503 7a "3 %s ^ 292 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. account of what passed from day to day, with very little inter ruption ; but henceforward his diary is very much interrupted by his illness ; under which he was often brought so low, as either not to be capable of writing, or not well able to bear the burden of a care so constant as was requisite to recol- lect, every evening, what had passed in the day, and digest it, and set down an orderly account of it in writing. However, his diary was not wholly neglected, but he took care, from time to time, to take some notice in it of the most material things concerning himself and the state of his mind, even till within a few days of his death. ^^ Lord's day, Sept. 21, 1746. I was so weak that I could not preach, nor pretend to ride over to my people in the forenoon. In the atternoon rode out ; sat in my chair, and discoursed to my people from Rom. xiv. 7, 8. For none of us liveth to himself, etc. I was strengthened and helped in my discourre ; and there appeared something agreeable in the assembly, I returned to my lodgings extremely tired, but thankful, that I had been enabled to speak a word to my poor people, from whom I had been so long absent. Was enabled to sleep very little this night, through weariness and pain. O how blessed should I be, if the little I do were all done with right views ! Oh that, 'whether I live, I might live to the Lord or whether I die, I might die unto the Lord ; that, whether living or dying, I might be the Lord's ! ' " Sept. 27. Spent this day as well as the whole week past, under a great degree of bodily weakness, exercised with a violent cough, and a considerable fever. I had no appetite for any kind of food ; and fre- quently brought up what I ate, as soon as it was down ; oftentimes had little rest in my bed, owing to pains in my breast and back. I was able, however, to ride over to my people, about two miles, every day, and take some care of those who were then at work upon a small house for me to reside in among the Indians. I was sometimes scarce able to walk, and never able to sit up the whole day, through the week. Was calr.i and composed, and but little exercised with melancholy, as in former seasons of weakness. Whether I should ever recover or no, seemed very doi.btful ; but this was many times a comfort to me, that life and death did not de- pend upon my choice. I was pleased to think, that he who is infinitely wise, had the determination of this matter ; and that I had no trouble to consider and weigh things upon all sides, in order to make the choice, whether I should live or die. Thus my time was consumed ; I had little strengtn to pray, none to write or read, and scarce any to meditate ; but through divine goodness, I could with great composure look death in the MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 293 very little inter mch interrupted mght so low, as i^ell able to bear quisite to recol- ly, and digest it, ;ing. However, took care, from le most material s mind, even till I could not preach, . In the atternoon )le from Rom. xiv. 5 strengthened and tig agreeable in the , but thankful, that ;, from whom I had : this night, through lie little I do were I might live to the hat, whether living week past, under a olent cough, and a of food ; and fre- oftentimes had back. I was able, very day, and take ill house for me to able to walk, and Was calra and n former seasons of ned very dov.btful ; i death did not de- \ who is infinitely had no trouble to make the choice, umed ; I had little to meditate ; but e look death in the 'n (ace, and frequently with sensible joy. O how blessed it is, to be habitu- ally prepared for death ! The Lord grant, that 1 may be actually ready also I " Lord's day, Sept. 28. Rode to my people ; and, though under much weakness, attempted to preach from 2 Cor. xiii. 3. ' Examine yourselves,' etc. Discoursed about half an hour ; at which season divine power seemed to attend the word ; but being extremely weak, I was obliged to desist ; and after a turn of faintness, with much difficulty rode to my lodgings ; where betaking myself to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and almost delirous, for several hours, till towards morning my fever went off with a violent sweat. I have often been feverish, and unable to rest quietly after preaching, but this was the most severe, distressing turn, that ever preaching brought upon me. Yet I felt perfectly at rest in my own mind, because I had made my utmost attempts to speak for God, :nd knew I could do no more. " Sept. 30. Yesterday and to-day, was in the same weak state, or rather weaker than in days past ; was scarce able to sit up half the day. Was in a composed frame of mind, remarkably free from dejection and melancholy ; as God has been pleased, in a great measure, to deliver me from these unhappy glooms, in the general course of my present weakness hitherto, and also from a peevish froward spirit. And O how great a mercy is this I Oh that I might always be perfectly quiet in seasons of greatest weakne&s, although nature should sink and fail ! Oh that I may always be able with the utmost sincerity to say, * Lord, not my will, but thine be done ! ' This, through grace, I can say at present, with regard to life or death, ' The Lord do with me as seems good in his sight ; ' that whether I live or die, I may glorify Him, who is ' worthy to receive blessing, and honor, and dominion forever. Amen.' " Oct. 4. Spent the former part of this week under a great degree of infirmity and disorder, as I had done several weeks before ; was able, however, to ride a little every day, although unable to sit up half the day, till Thursday. Took some care daily of some persons at work upon my house. On Friday afternoon, found myself wonderfully revived and strengthened. Having some time before given notice to my people, and those of them at the Forks of Delaware in particular, that I designed, with the leave of Providence, to administer the sacrament of the Lord's supper upon the first Sabbath in October on Friday afternoon I preached preparatory to the sacrament, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5 ; finishing what I proposed to offer upon the subject the Sabbath before. The sermon was blessed of God to the stirring up religious affection, and a spirit of devotion, in the people of God ; and to greatly affecting one who had backslidden from God, which caused him to judge and con- demn himself. I was surprisingly strengthened in my work, while I was 294 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. speaking ; but was obliged immediately after to repair to bed, being now removed into my own house among the Indians; which gave me such speedy relief and refreshment, as I could not well have lived without. Spent some time on Friday night \\\ conversing with my people about divine things, as I lay upon my bed ; and found my soul refreshed, though my body was weak. This being Saturday, I discoursed particu- larly with divers of the communicants; and this afternoon preached from Zech. xii. lo. 'And I will pour on the house of David,' etc. There seemed to be a tender melting, and hearty mourning for sin, in numbers in the congregation. My soul was in a comfortable frame, and I enjoyed freedom and assistance in public service ; was myself, as well as most of the congregation, much affected with the humble confession, and ap- parent broken-heartedness of the foremen tioned backslider ; and could not but rejoice, that God had given him such a sense of his sin and un- worthiness. Was extremely tired in the evening ; but lay on my bed, and discoursed to my people. " Lord's day, Oct. 5. Was still very weak ; and in the morning consi- derably afraid 1 should not be able to go through the work of the day; having much to do, both in private and public. Discoursed before the administration of the sacrament, from John i. 29. ' Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the sins of the world.' Where I considered, I. In what respects Christ is called the Lamb of God : and observed that he is so called, (i.) From the purity and innocency of his nature. (2.) From his meekness and patience under sufferings. (3.) From his being that atonement which was pointed out in the sacrifice of the lambs, and in particular by the paschal lamb. II. Considered how and in what sense he * takes away the sin of the world : ' and observed, that the means and manner, in and by which he takes away the sins of men, was his ' giving himself for them,' doing and suffering in their room and stead, etc. And he is said to take away the sin of the world, not because all the world shall actually be redeemed from sin by him ; but because, (i.j He has done and suffered sufficient to answer for the sins of the world, and so to redeem all mankind. (2.) He actually does take away the sins of the elect world. And, ITT. Considered how we are to be- hold him, in order to have our sins taken away : { i.) Not with our bodily eyes. Nor, (2,) By imagining him on the cross, etc. But by a spiritual view of his glory and goodness, engaging the soul to rely on him, etc. The divine presence attended this discourse, and the assembly was considerably melted with divine truths. After sermon, baptized two persons. Then administered the Lord's supper to near forty communi- cants, of the Indians, besides divers dear Christians of the white people. It seemed to be a season of divine power and grace ; and numbers seemed to rejoice in God. O the sweet union and harmony then appear- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 29s to bed, being now uch gave me such ivc lived without. 1 my people about ny soul refreshed, liscoursed particu- icon preached from )avid,' etc. There or sin, in numbers ame, and I enjoyed , as well as most of :onfession, and ap- kslider ; and could e of his sin and un- jut lay on my bed, 1 the morning consi- lie work of the day; scoursed before the iehold the Lamb of iiere I considered, I. and observed that of his nature. (2.) (3.) From his being :e of the lambs, and how and in what I observed, that the ;he sins of men, was in their room and e world, not because } him ; but because, for the sins of the illy does take away 1 how we are to be- Not with our bodily But by a spiritual to rely on him, etc. the assembly was rmon, baptized two ear forty commi'ni- of the white people. ace ; and numbers armony then appear- ing among the religious people ! My soul was refreshed, and my religi- ous friends, of the white people, with me. After the sacrament, could scarcely get home, though it was not more than twenty roods ; but was supported and led by my friends, and laid on my bed; where I lay in pain till some time in the evening ; and then was able to sit up and dis- course with friends. O how was this day spent in prayers and praises among my dear people 1 One might hear them, all the morning before public worship, and in the evening, till near midnight, praying and sing- ing praises to God, in one or other of their houses. My soul was re- freshed, though my body was weak." This week, in two days, though in a very low state, he went to Elizabethtown, to attend the meeting of the Synod there ; but was d'j; appointed by its removal to New York. He continued ii:. ^ very composed, comfortable frame of mind. "Oct. II. Towards night was seized with an ague, which was fol- lowed with a hard fever, and considerable pain ; was treated with great kindness; and was ashamed to see so much conrer;i nbout so unworthy a creature, as I knew myself to be. Was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly submissive, with regard to life or death. It was indeed a peculiar satisfaction to me, to think, that it was not my concern or business to de- termine whether I should live or die. I likewise felt peculiarly satisfied, while under this uncommon degree of disorder; being now fully convinced of my being really weak, and unable to perform my work. Whereas at other times my mind was perplexed with fears, that I was a misimprover of time, by conceiting I was sick, when I was not in reality so. O how precious is time I And how guilty it makes me feel, when I think that I have trifled away and misimproved it, or neglected to fill up each part of it with duty, to the utmost of my ability and capacity 1 " LonVs Jay, Oct. 12. Was scarcely able to sit up in the forenoon; in the afternoon, attended public worship, and was in a composed, comfor- table frame. — Lord's day, Oct. 19. Was scarcely able to do anything at all in the week past, except that on Thursday I rode out about four miles ; at which time I took cold. As I was able to do little or nothing, so I en- joyed not much spirituality, or lively religious affection ; though at some times I longed much to be more fruitful and full of heavenly affection ; and was grieved to see the hours slide away, while I could do nothing for God. Was able this week to attend public worship. Was composed and comfortable, willing either to die or live ; but found it hard to be reconciled to the thoughts of living useless. Ol. that I might never live to be a burden to God's creation ; but that I might be allowed to repair home, when my sojourning work is done ! " 29t> MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. i? ^ This week he went back to his Indians at Cranberry, to take some care of their spiritual and temporal concerns ; and was much spent with riding, though he rode but a little way in a day. " Oct. 23. Went to my own house, and set things in order. Was very weak, and somewhat melanchol;/ ; labored to do something, but had no strength ; and was forced to lie down on my bed, very solitary. — Oct. 24. Spent the day in overseeing and directing my people, about mending their fence, and securing their wheat. Found that all their concerns of a secular nature depended upon me. Was somewhat refreshed in the evening, having been able to do something valuable in the day-time. O how it pains me, to see time pass away, when I can do nothing to any purpose ! — Oct. 25. Visited some of my people ; spent some time in writing, and felt much better in body, than usual. When it was near night, J. felt so well, that I had thoughts of expounding ; but in the even- ing was much disordered again, and spent the night in cougiiing and spit- ting blood. " Lord's dayy Oct. 26. In the morning was exceedingly weak ; spent the day, till near night, in pain, to see my poor people wandering as sheep not having a shepherd, waiting and hoping to see me al»le to preach to them before night. It could not but distress me, to see them in this case, and to find myself unable to attempt anything for their spiritual benefit. But towards night, finding myself a little better, I called them together to my house, and sat down, and read and expounded Matt. v. 1-16. This discourse, though delivered in much weakness, was attended with power to many of the hearers; especially what was spoken upon the last of these verses ; where I insisted on the infinite wrong done to religion, by having our light become darkness, instead of shining before men. Many in the congregation were now deeply affected with a sense of their deficiency with respect to spiritual conversation, which might recommend religion to others, and a spirit of concern and watchfulness seemed to be excited in them. One, in particular, who had fallen in the sin of drunkenness some time before, was now deeply convinced of his sin, and the great dis- honor done to religion by his misconduct, and discovered a great degree of grief and concern on that account. My soul was refreshed to see this. And though I had no strength to speak so much as I would have done, but was obliged to lie down on the bed ; yet I rejoiced to see such an humble melting in the congregation; and that divine truths, though faintly delivered, were attended with so much efficacy upon the auditory. '* Oct. 27. Spent the day in overseeing and directing the Indians about mending the fence round their wheat ; was able to walk with them MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. >97 Cranberry, to oncerns ; and a little way in in order. Was mething, but had •y solitary. — Oct. e, about mending leir concerns of a refreshed in the the day-time. nothing to any nt some time in hen it was near ; but in the evnn- ;oughing and spit- igly weak ; spent andering as sheep a](le to preach to them in this cas2, r spiritual benefit. i them together to V. 1-16. This ended with power n the last of these eligion, by having en. Many in the their deficiency commend religion ned to be excited 11 of drunkenness and the great dis- id a great degree eshed to see this. vould have done, i to see such an truths, though pen the auditory. ting ihe Indians walk with them snci contrive their business, all the forenoon. In the afternoon, was visited by two dear friends, and spent some time in conversation with them. Towards night, I was able to walk out, and take care of the In- dians again. In the evening, enjoyed a very peaceful frame. "C>re- hended, or being already perfect, as at this time. The Lord's supper being this day administered, I attended the ordinance ; and though I saw in myself a dreadful emptiness, and want of grace, and saw myself as it were at an infinite distance from that purity which becomes the gospel, yet at the communion, especially at the distribution of the bread, I en- joyed some warmth of affection, and felt a tender love to the brethren; and, I think, to the glorious Redeemer, the first-born among them. I endeavored then to bring forth mine and his enemies, and slay them before him; and found great freedom in begging deliverance from this spiritual death, as well as in asking divine favors for my friends and con- gregation, and the church of Christ in general. '* April 7. In the afternoon rode to Newark, to marry the Rev. Mr. Dickinson;* and in the evening, performed that service. Afterwards rode home to Elizabethtown, in a pleasant frame, full of composure and sweetness. " April 9. Attended the ordination of Mr. Tucker, t and afterwards the examination oi Mr. Smith ; was in a comfortable frame of mind this day, and felt my heart, I think, sometimes in a spiritual frame, '' April 10. Spent the forenoon in Presbyterial business. In the afternoon rode to Elizabethtown ; found my brothei John there ; J spent some time in conversation with him ; but was extremely weak and out- done, my spirits considerably sunk, and my mind dejected. — April 13. Assisted in examining my brother. In the evening, waa in a solemn, de- vout frame ; but was much overdone and oppres od with a violent head- ache. — April 14. Was able to do little or nothing ; spent some lime with Mr. Byram and other friends. This day my brother went to my people. —April 15. Found some freedom af. the throne of grace several times this day. In the afternoon, was very weak, and spent the time to very little purpose; yet in the evening, had, \ ,ought, some religious warmth * The late learned and very excellent Rev. Jonsihan Dickinson, pastor of a church in Elizabethtown, president of the college of New- Jersey, and one of thu correspondents of the honorable society in Scotland for propagating Christian knowledge He had a great esteem for Brainerd ; kindly entertained him in his house during his sickness the winter past ; and after a short illness, died the ensuing October, two days before Brainerd. t A worthy pious young man ; who lived but a very short time : he died at Stratfield, in Connecticut, the December following his ordination, a little while after Brainerd's death a* Northampton. X This brother of his had been sent for by the correspondents, to take care of, .ind instruct Brainerd's congregation of Indians; he being obliged by his illness tn be absent tinni them. He continued to take care of them till Brainerd's death: and since his death, has been ordained his successor in his mission, which continues to flourish much, under his pastoral cart. 304 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, and spiritual desires in prayer. My soul seemed to go forth after God, and take complacence in his divine perfections. But, alas I afterwards awfully let down my watch, and grew careless and secure. ** April i6. Was in bitter anguish of soul, in the morning, such as I have scarce ever felt, with a sense of sin and t,uilt. I continued in dis- tress the whole day, attempting to pray wherever I went ; and indeed could not help so doing ; but looked upon myself so vile, that I dared not look any body in the face ; and was even grieved, that anybody should show me any respect, or that they should be so deceived as to think I deserved it. '■'■ April v/. In the evening, could not but think that God helped me to ' draw near to the throne of grace,' though most unworthy, and gave me a sense of his favor ; which gave me inexpressible support and en- couragement. Though I scarcely dared to hope that the mercy was real, il appeared so great ; yet could not but rejoice, that ever God should discover his reconciled face to such a vile sinner. Shame and confusion, at tln'cs, covered me ; and then hope, and joy, and admiration of divine goo ..ness gained the ascendant Sometimes I could not but admire the divine goodness, that the Lord had not let me fall into all the grossest, vilest acts of sins and open scandal, that could be thought of; and felt so much necessitated to praise God, that this was ready for a little while to swallow up my shame and pressure of spirit on account of my sins. " April 20. Was in a very disordered state, and kept my bed most ot the day. I enjoyed a little more comfort than in several of the preceding days. This day I arrived at the age of twenty-nine years. — April 21. 1 set out on my journey for New England, in order, (if it might be the will of God,) to recover my health by riding; travelled to New York, and there lodged." This proved his final departure from New- Jersey. Hetrav- elied slowly, and arrived anr^ng his friends at East-Haddam, abouL Caq beginning of May. There is very little account in his diary of the time that passed from his setting out on his journey to May 10. He speaks of his sometimes finding hi.> heart rejoicing in the glorious perfeci:ions of God, and longing to live to him ; but complaining of the unfixedness of his thoughts, and their being easily diverted from divine subjects, and cries out of his leanness, as testifying against him, in the loudest manner. Concerning those diversions which he was obliged to use for his health, he says, that he sometimes found he could use diversions with " singleness of heart," MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 305 ersey. Hetrav- East-Haddam, tie account in ing out on his nes finding hi.> )d, and longing sedness of his ivine subjects, nst him, in the which he was he sometimes ess of heart," aiming at the glory of God ; but that he also found there wis a necessity of great care and watchfulness, lest he should lose that spiritual temper of mind in his diversions, and lest they should degenerite into what was merely selfish, without any supreme aim at the glory of God in them. *' Lord"'! Jay, May 10. [At Had-Lime.*] I could not but feel some measure of gratitude to God at this time, wherein I was much exercised, that he had always disposed me, in my ministry, to insist on the greatest doctrines of regeneration, the new creature, faith in Christ, progressive sanctification, supreme love to God, living entirely to the glory of God, being not our own, and the like. God thus helped me to see, in the surest manner, from time to time, that these, and the like doctrines necessarily connected with them, are the only foundation of safety and sa'vation for perishing sinners ; and that those divine dispositions, which are consonant hereto, are that holiness, ' without which no man shall see the Lord.' The exercise of these godlike tempers — wherein the soul acts in a kind ot concert with God, and would be and do everything that is pleasing to him — I saw, would stand by the soul in a dying hour ; for God must, I th'nk, deny himself, if he cast away his own image, even the soul that is one in desires with himself. ^^ Lord's day. May 17. [At Millington.t] Spent the forenoon at home, being unable to attend \ ablic v/orship. At this time, God gave me such an affecting sense of my own vileness, and the exceeding sinful- ness of my heart, that there seemed to be nothing but sin and corruption within me. • Innumerable evils compassed me about ; my want of spirituality and holy living, my neglect of God, and living to myself. All the abominations of my heart and life seemed to be open to my view ; and I had nothing to say, but, * God be merciful to me a sinner.' Towards noon, I sa AT, that the grace of God in Christ, is infinitely free towards sinners, and such sinners as I was. I also saw, that God is the supreme good, that in his presence is life ; and T began to long to die, that I might be with him, in a state of freedom from all sin. O how a small glimpse of his excellency refreshed my soul ! Oh how worthy is the blessed God to be loved, adored, and delighted in, for himself, for his own divine ex- cellencies ! " Though I felt much dullness, and want of a spirit of prayer, this week, yet I had some glimpses of the excellency of divine things ; and especially one morning, in secret meditation and prayer, the excellency and beauty of holiness, as a likeness to the glorious God, was so dis- wvered to me, that I began to long earnestly to be 'n hat world where * A parish of Haddam, in Connecticut. * A parish of £ast*IIaddam, in Connecticut. If? p ] 306 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. p,--j'":'^'- ■■-'-■■'■' holiness dwells in perfection. I seemed to long for this perfect holiness, not so much for the sake of my own happiness, although I saw clearly that this was the greatest, yea, the only happiness of the soul, as that I might please God, live entirely to him, and glorify him to the utmost stretch of my rational poweis and capacities. " Lord's day, May 24. [At Long-Meadow.] Could not but think, as I have often remarked to others, thai much more of true religion consists in deep humility, brokenness of heart, and an abasing sense of barrenness and want of grace and holiness, than most who are called Christians, imagine; especially those who have been esteemed the converts of the late day. Many seem to know of no other religion but elevated joys and affections, arising only from some flights of imagination, or some sugges- tion made to their mind, of Christ being theirs, God loving the.n. and the like." On Thursday, May 28, he came from Long- Meadow to Northampton ; appearing vastly better than, by his account, he had been in the winter ; indeed, so well that he was able to ride twenty-five miles in a day, and to walk half a mile ; and appeared cheerful, and free from melancholy ; but yet un- doubtedly, at that time, in a confirmed, incurable consump- tion. I had much opportunity, before this, ot particular informa- tion concerning him, from many who were well acquainted with him ; and had myself once an opportunity of consid- erable conversation and some acquaintance with him, at New- Haven, near four years before, at the time of the Commence- ment, when he offered that confession to the rector of the col- lege, which has been already mentioned in this history ; having been one whom he was pleased then several times to consult on that affair ; but now I had opportunity for a more full acquaintance with him. I found him remarkably sociable, pleasant and entertaining in his conversation ; yet solid, sav- ory, spiritual, and very profitable. He appeared meek, modest, and humble ; far from any stiffness, moroseness, superstitious | demureness, or affected singularity in speech or behavior, and seeming to dislike all such things. We enjoyed not onlyi the benefit of his conversation, but had the comfort and advantage of hearing him pray in the family, from time to MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 307 perfect holiness, gh I saw clearly le soul, as that I m to the utmost not but think, as 5 religion consists nse of barrenness called Christians, e converts of the elevated joys and 1, or some sugges- ting the.n. and the ong-Meadow to by his account, t he was able to alf a mile ; and [y ; but yet un- rable consump- ticular informa- well acquainted nity of consid- th him, at New- Ithe Commence- lectorof the col- history ; having imes to consult or a more full [kably sociable, yet solid, sav- meek, modest, ss, superstitious h or behavior, njoyed not only | .e comfort and from time tol time. His manner of praying was very agreeable ; most becoming a worm of the dust, and a disciple of Christ, address- ing an infinitely great and holy God, the Father of mercies ; not with florid expressions, or a studied eloquence ; not with any intemperate vehemence, or indecent boldness. It was at the greatest distance from any appearance of ostentation, and from everything that might look as though he meant to recommend himself to those that were about him, or set him- self off to their acceptance. It was free also from vain repi- titions, without impertinent excursions, or needless multiply- ing of words. He expressed himself with the strictest pro priety, with weight and pungency ; and yet what his lips uttered seemed to flow from the fullness of his heart, as deeply impressed with a great and solemn sense of our necessities, unworthiness, and dependence, and of God's infinite great- ness, excellency, and sufficiency, rather than merely from a warm and fruitful brain, pouring out good expressions. I know not that I ever heard him so much as ask a blessing or return thanks at table, but there was something remarkable to be observed both in the matter and manner of the perfor- mance. In his prayers, he insisted much on the prosperity of Zion, the advancement of Christ's kingdom in the world, and the flourishing and propagation of religion among the Indians. And he generally made it one petition in his I prayer, " that we might not outlive our usefulness." " Lonfs day, May 31. [At Northampton.] I had little inward sweet- Iness in religion, most of the week past ; not realizing and beholding spiritually the glory of God, and the blessed Redeemer; from whence al- ways arise my comforts and joys in religion, if I have any at all ; and if I cannot so behold the excellencies and perfections of God, r.s to cause me to rejoice in him for what he is in himself, I have no solid foundation for joy. To rejoice, only because I apprehend I have an interest in [Christ, and shall be finally saved, is a poor mean business indeed." This week, he consulted Dr. Mather, at my house, con- I earning his illness ; who plainly told him, that there were great evidences of his being in a confirmed consumption, and that he could give him no encouragement, that he should I 308 MEMOTRS OF BRAINERD. ever recover. But it seemed not to occasion the least dis- composure in him, nor to make any manner of alteration as to the cheerfulness and serenity of his mind, or the freedom or pleasantness of his conversation. ^'■Lord's day, June "J. My attention was grea 'y engaged, and my soul so drawn forth, this day, by what I heard of the 'exceeding precious- ness of the saving grace of God's Spirit,' that it ahnost overcame my body, in my wealc state. I saw that true grace is exceedingly precious indeed ; that it is very rare ; ar.d that there is but a very small degree of it, even wliere the reality of it is to be found ; at least I saw this to be my case. In the preceding week, I enjoyed some comfortable seasons of meditation. One morning, the cause of God appeared exceedingly precious to me. The Redeemer's kingdom is all that is valuable in the earth, and I could not but long for the promotion of it in the world. I saw, also, that this cause is God's, that he has an infinitely greater regard and concern for it, than I could possibly have ; that if I have any true love to this blessed interest it is only a drop derived from that ocean. Hence I was ready to ' lift up my head with joy ; ' and conclude. ' Well, if God's cause be so dear and precious to him, he will promote it.' Thus I did, as it were, rest on God that he would surely promote that which was so ageeable to his own will ; though the time when, must still be left to his sovereign pleasure." He was advised by physicians still to continue riding ; as what would tend, above any other means, to prolong his life. He was at a loss, for some time, which way to bend his course next ; but finally determined to ride from hence to Boston ; we having concluded that one of our family should go with him, and be helpful to him in his weak and iow state. "June 9. I set out on a journey from Northampton to Boston. Travelled slowly, and got some acquaintance with divers ministers on the road. Having now continued to ride for sonce considerable time to- gether, I felt myself much better than I had formerly done ; and found, that in proportion to the prospect I had of being restored to a state of usefulness, so I desired the continuance of life ; but death appeared in- conceivably more desirable to me than a useless life ; yet, blessed be God, I found my heart, at times, fully resigned and reconciled to this greatest of afflictions, if God saw fit thus to deal with me. ^^ June 12. I arrived in Boston this day, somewhat fatigued with my journey. Observed that there is no rest, but in God ; fatigues of body, MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 309 sngaged, and my :ceeding precious- )St overcame my eedingly precious ry small degree of it I saw this to be nifortable seasons eared exceedingly is valuable in the in the world. I tely greater regard I have any true from that ocean, conclude. ' Well, )romote it.' Thus omote that which 1, must still be left inue riding ; as )rolong his life. to bend his ;rom hence to family should and low state. iipton to Boston. rs ministers on the liderable time to- done ; and found, red to a state of eath appeared in- ; yet, blessed be econciled to this le. fatigued with my fatigues of body, and anxieties of mind, attend us both in town and country ; no place is exempted. " LonVs day, June 14. I enjoyed some enlargement and sweetness in lamily prayer, as well as in secret exercises ; God appeared excellent, his ways full of pleasure and peace, and all I wanted was a spirit of holy fervency, to live to him. — June 17. This and the two preceding days, I spent mainly in visiting the ministers of the town, and was treated with great respect by them. '■^ June 18, I was taken exceedingly ill, and brought to the gates of death by the breaking of small ulcers in my lungs, as my physician sup- posed. In this extremely weak state, I continued for several weeks, and was frequently reduced so low, as to be utterly speechless, and not able so much as to whisper a word. Even after I had so far revived, as to walk about the house, and to step out of doors, I was exercised every day with a faint turn, which continued usually four or five hours ; at which times, though I was not so utterly speechless, but that I could say Ves, or No, yet I could not converse at all, nor speak one sentence, without making stops for breath ; and divers times this season my friends gathered round my bed to see me breathe my last, which they ex- [pected e/iry moment, as I myself also did. '' How I was, the first day or two of my illness with regard to the ex- I ercise of reason, 1 scarcely know. I believe I was somewhat shattered with the violence of the fever at times; but the third day of my illness, and constantly afterwards, for four or five weeks together, I enjoyed as much serenity of mind, and clearness of thought, as perhaps I ever did in my life. I think v^iat my mind never penetrated with so much ease and freedom into divine things, as at this time ; and I never felt so capable of demonstrating the truth of many important doctrines of the gospel, as now. As I saw clearly the truth of those great doctrines which are justly styled the doctrines of grace, so I saw with no less clearness, that the essence of religion consisted in the soul's conformity to God, and acting above all selfish views, for his glory, longing to be for him, to live to him, and please and honor him in all things ; and this from a clear view of his infinite excellency and worthiness iu himself, to be loved, adored, wor- shipped and served by all intelligent cieatures. Thus I sav, that when a soul loves God with a supreme love, he therein acts like the blessed God himself who most justly loves himself in that manner. So when God's interest and his are become one, and he longs that God should be glorified, and rejoices to think that he is unchangeably possessed of the highest glory and blessedness herein, also, he act? in conformity to God. In like manner when the soul is fully resigned to, and rests satisfied and [contents with the divine will, here it is also confc-med to God. " I saw further, that as this divine temper, by which the soul exalts IVBH 310 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. \ God, and treads self in the dust, is wrought in the soul by God's dis- covering his own glorious perfections in the face of Jesus Christ to if, Ly the special influences of the holy Spirit, so he cannot but have regard to it, as his own work ; and as it is his image in the soul, he cannot but take delight in it. Then I saw again, that if God should slight and reject his own moral image, he must needs deny himself; which he cannot do. And thus I saw the stability and infallibility of this religion, and that tliose who are truly possessed of it, have the most complete and satisfying evi- dence of their being interested in all the benefits of Christ's redemption, having their hearts conformed to him ; and that these, these only, are qualified for the employments and entertainments of God's kingdom of glory ; as none but these have any relish for the business of heaven, which is to ascribe glory to God, and not to themselves ; and that God (though I would speak it with great reverence of his name and perfection) cannot, without denying himself, finally cast such away. " The next thing I had then to do, was to enquire, whether this was my religion ; and here God was pleased to help me to the most easy remem- brance and critical review of what had passed in course of a religious nature, through several of the latter years of my life. Although I could discover much corruption attending my best duties, many selfish views and carnal ends, much spiritual pride and self-exaltation, and innumerable other evils which compassed me about ; yet God was pleased, as I was reviewing, quickly to put this question out of doubt, by showing me, that I had, from time to time, acted above the utmost influence of mere self- love ; that I had longed to please and glorify him, as my highest happi- ness. This review was through grace attended with a present feeling of the same divine temper of mind. I felt now pleased to think of the glory of God, and longed for heaven, as a state wherein I might glorify (iod perfectly, rather than a place of happiness for myself. This feeling of the love of God in my heart, which I trust the Spirit of (iod excited in me afresh, was sufficient to give me a full satisfaction, and make me long, as I had many times before done, to be with Christ. I did not now want any of the sudden suggestions, which many are so pleased with, ' That Christ and his benefits are mine ; that God loves me,' etc, in order to give me satis, action about my state. No, my soul now abhorred those de- lusions of Satan, which are thought to be the immediate witness of tiic Spirit, while there is nothing but an empty suggestion of a certain fact, without any gracious discovery of the divine gl:^ry, or of the Spirit's work in their own hearts. I saw the awful delusion of this kind of confidence, as well as of the whole of that religion, from which they usually spring, or at least of which they are the attendants. The false religion of the late day, though a day of wondrous grace, the imaginations, and impressions made only on the animal affections — together with the sudden suggestioM MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD, 3" e, these only, are made to the mind by Satan, transformed into an angel of light, of certain facts not revealed in scripture — and many suchlike things, I .'ear, have made up the greater part of the religious appearance in many places. " These things I saw with great clearness, when I was thought to be dying. God gave me great concern for his church and interest in the world, at this time ; not so much because the late remarkable influence upon the minds of people was abated, as because that false religion — those hearts of imagination, and wild and selfish commotions of the animal affections — which attended the work of grace, had prevailed so far. This was that which my mind dwelt upon, almost day and night ; and this, to me, was the darkest appearance, respecting religion, in the land; for it was this, chiefly, that had prejudiced the world against inward religion. And I saw the great misery of all was, that so few saw any manner of difference between those exercises which are spiritual and holy, and those which have self-love only for their beginning, centre, and end. " As God was pleased to afford me clearness of thought, and com- posure of mind, almost continually, for several weeks together, under my great weakness, so he enabled me, in some measure, to impiove my time, as, I hope, to valuable purposes. I was enabled to write a number of importart letters, to friends in remote places ; and sometimes I wrote when I was speechless, /'. e. unable to maintain conversation with 7iny body ; though perhaps I was able to speak a word or two so as to be heard." Among the letters written at this period, were the follow- ing. The reader will perceive that they were written by one conscious that he was standing on the verge of the grave and realizing, in no ordinary degree, the infinite importance of eternity. To his brother Israel, at College; written in the time of his extreme illness in Boston, a few months before his death. "My dear Brother; Boston, /««^ 30, 1747. " It is on the verge of eternity I now address you. I am heartily sorry that I have so little strength to write what I long so much to communi- cate to you. But, let me tell you, my brother, eternity is another thing than we ordinarily take it to be in a healthful state. O, how vast and boundless ! O, how fixed and unalterable ! O, of what infinite impor- tance is it, that we be prepared for eternity ! I have been just a dying, now for more than a week ; and all around me have thought me so. I have had clear views of Eternity ; have seen the blessedness of the godly, 312 MEMOIRS OF liRAINERD. in some measure; and have longed to share their happy state ; as well as been comfortably satisfied, that through grace, I shall do so ; but C), what anguish is raised in n\y mind, to think of eternity for those who are Christlcss, for those who are mistaken, and who bring their false hopes to the grave with them ! The sight was so dreadful, I could by no means bear it ; my thoughts recoiled, and I said, under a more affecting sense than ever before, ' Who can dwell with everlasting burnings ! ' O, me- thought, could I now see my friends, that I might warn them to see to it, that they lay their foundation for eternity sure. And for you, my dear brother, I have been particularly concerned; and have wondered I so much neglected conversing with you about your spiritual state at our last meeting. O, my brother, let me then beseech you now to examine, whether you are indeed a new creature ? whether you have ever acted aDove self? whether the glory of God has ever been the sweetest and highest concern with you ? whether you have ever been reconciled to all the perfections of God ? in a word, whether God has been your por- tion, and a holy conformity to him your chief delight ? If you cannot answer positively, consider seriously the frequent breathings of your soul ; but do not, however, put yourself off with a slight answer. If you have reason to think you are graceless, O, give yourself and the throne of grace no rest, till God arise and save. But if the case should be other- wise, bless God for his grace, and press after holiness. " My soul longs, that you should be fitted for, and in due time go into the work of the ministry. I cannot bear to think of your going into any other business in life. Do not be discouraged, because you see your elder brothers in the ministry die early, one after another. I declare, now I am dying, I would not have spent my life otherwise for the whole world. But I must leave this with God. " If this line should come to your hands soon after the date, I should be almost desirous you should set out on a journey to me ; it may be you may see me alive ; which I should much rejoice in. But if you cannot come I must commit you to the grace of God, where you are. May he be your guide and counsellor, your sanctifier and eternal portion ! " O, my dear brother, flee fleshly lusts, and the enchanting amusd mentr., as well as corrupt doctrines of the presen<^ day, and strive to livs to God. Take this as the last line from " Your affectionate dying brother, " David Brainerd." Letter to a young gentleman, a candidate for the ministry, for whom he had a special friendship ; written at the time of his nearness to death in Boston. MEMOIRS OF BRA/NERD. :^^^ state ; ag well as i so ; but (), wliat )r those who arc their false hopes :ould by no means re affecting sense irnings ! ' O, me- them to see to it, for you, my dear ve wondered I so \\ state at our last now to examine, , have ever acted the sweetest ana I reconciled to all s been your por- t ? If you cannot ings of your soul ; wer. If you have md the throne of e should be other- \\ due time go into jur going into any use you see your Jther. I declare, 'ise for the whole :he date, I should le ; it may be you ut if you cannot ou are. May he portion ! chanting amusci nd strive to livs )ther, lAINERD. >» the ministry, It the time of "Very dear Sir: " How ama/ing it is, that the living, who know they must die, should, notwithstanding, ' put far away the evil,' in a season of health and pros- perity ; and live at such an awful distance from a familiarity with the grave, and the great concerns beyond it I Especially, it may justly nil us with surprise, that any whose minds have been divinely enlightened to behold the important things of eternity as they are, I say, that such should live in this manner. And yet, sir, how frequently is this the case ! How rare are the instances of those who 'ive and act, from day to day, as on the verge of e jrnity striving to fill up all th^ir remaining moments, in the service and to the honor of their great Master ! We in- sensibly trifle away time, while we seem to have enough of it ; and are so strangely amused, as in a great measure to lose a sense of the holiness, and blessed qualifications necessary to prepare us to be inhabitants of the heavenly paradise. But O, dear sir, a dying bed, if we enjoy our reason clearly, will give another view of things. I have now, for more than three weeks, lain under the greatest degree of weakness ; the greater part of the time, expecting daily and hourly to enter into the eternal world ; sometimes have been so far gone, as to be wholly speech- less, for some hours together. O, of what vast importance has a holy spiritual life appeared to me at this season ! I have longed to call upon all my friends, to make it their business to live to God ; and especially all tha' are designed for, or engaged in the service of the sanctuary. O, dear sir, do not think it enough, to live at the rate of common Chris- tians. Alas, to how little purpose do they often converse, when they meet together I The visits, even of those who are called Christians in- deed, are frequently extremely barren ; and conscience cannot but con- demn us for the misimprovement of time, while we have been conversant with them. But the way to enjoy the divine presence, and to be fitted for distinguishing service for God, is to live a life of great devotion and constant self-dedication to him; observing the motions and dispositions of our own hearts, whence we m.ay learn the corruptions that lodge there, and our constant need of help from God for the performance of the least 'uty. And O, dear sir, let me beseech you frequently to attend to the great and piecious duties of secret fasting and prayer. " I have a secret thought, from some things I have observed, that Ood may perhaps design you for some singular service in the world. O then labor to be prepared and qualified to do much for God. Read Mr. Edwards' piece on the affections, again and again ; and labor to distin- guish clearly upon experiences and affections in religion, that you may make a difference between the gold and the shining dross, I say, labor I here, if ever you would be an useful minister of Christ ; for nothing has put such a stop to the work of God in the late day as the false religion, 3»4 MEMOIRS OF liRAINEKD. and the wild affections whidi attend it. Suffer me, therefore, finally to entreat you earnestly to 'give yourself to prayer, to reading and nifdila- tion on divine truths;' strive to penetrate to the bottom of thcni, and never be content with a superficial knowledge. By this means, your thoughts, will gradually grow weighty and judicious; and you hereby will be possessed of a valuable treasure, out of which you may produce ' things new and old,' to the glory of God. '* And now, ' I commend you to the grace of God,' earnestly desiring'. that a plentiful jiortion of the divine Spirit may rest upon you ; that you may live to God in every capacity of life, and do abundant service for him in a public one, if it be his will ; and that you maybe richly qualiiied for the 'inheritance of the saints in light.' — I- scarce expect to see ymir face any more in the body, and therefore entreat you to accept this as the last token of love, from " Your sincerely affectionate dying friend, " David Brainkrd. " P. S. I am now, at the dating of this letter, considerably recovered from what I was when I wrote it ; it having lain by me for some time, for want of an opportunity of conveyance ; it was written in Boston, I am now able to ride a little, and so am removed into the country ; but have no more expectation of recovering than when I wrote, though I am a little better for the present; and therefore I still subscribe myself, " Your dying friend, «'D. B." Letter to his brother John, at Bethel, the town of Chris- tian Indians, in New-Jersey ; written likewise at Boston, when he was there on the brink of the grave. " Dear Brother : I am now just on the verge of eternity, expecting very speedily to ap- pear in the unseen world. I feel myself no more an inhabitant of earth, and sometimes earnestly long to 'depart and be with Christ.' I bless God, he has for some years given me an abiding conviction, that it is im- possible for any rational creature to enjoy true happiness, without being entirely 'devoted to him.' Under the influence of this conviction I have in some measure acted. Oh that I had done more so ! I saw both the excellency and necessity of holiness in life ; but never in such a manner as now, when I am just brought from the sides of the grave. O, my brother, pursue after hoMness ; press towards this blessed mark; and let your thirsty soul continually say, ' I shall never be satisfied till I awake in thy likeness.' Although there has been a great deal of selfishness in MEMOIRS OF BRAIN KRD. 315 ■fore, finally to ing, and nifdila- im of thcni, and lis means, your and you hereby ou may produce mest'.y desiring;, ,n you ; that you idant service (or e richly qualified pect to see your iccept this as the end, II) Brain KRD. derably recovered ne for some time, ten in Boston. I the country ; but rote, though I am cribe myself, dying friend, " D, B." town of Chris- It Boston, when ery speedily to ap- habitant of earth, , Christ.' I bless tion, that it is im- less, without being conviction I have ! I saw both the in such a manner .^e grave. O, my isedmark; and let Itisfied till I awake lal of selfishness in my \iews, of which T am .ishamed, and for which my soul is humbled at every view; yif, blessed be God, I find 1 have really had, for the most part, such a concern for his glory, and the advancement of his kingdom in the world, that it is a satisfaction to me to reflect upon these years. *' And now, my dear brother, as I must press you to pursue after per- sonal holiness, to be as much in fasting and prayer as your health will allow, and to live above the rate of common Christians; so I must entreat you solemnly to attend to your public work ; labor to distinguish be- tween true and false religion; and to that end, watch the motions oi God's spirit upon your own heart. Look to him for help ; and imparti- ally compare your experiences with his word. Read Mr. Edwards on the affections ; where the essence and soul of religion is clearly distin- guished from false affections.* V^alue religious joys according to the subject-matter of them : there are many who rejf)ice in their supposed justification ; but what do these joys argue, but only that they love them- selves ? Whereas, in true spiritual joys, the soul rejoices in God for what he is in himself ; blesses God for his holiness, sovereignty, power, faithfulness, and all his perfections ; adores God, that he is what he is, that he is unchangeably possessed of infinite glory and happiness. Now, when men thus rejoice in the perfections of God, and in the infinite ex- cellency of the way of salvation by Christ, and in the holy commands of God, which are a transcript of his holy nature ; these joys are div." le and spiritual. Our joys will stand by us at the hour of death, if we can be • [The extreme modesty and the delicate sensibility o£ the world-renowned Edwards, are touchingly disclosed in the subjoined brief note. Nothing but a high sense of duty kept him from suppressing Brainerd's reference in the way of commendation to one of his master! v treatises. — J. M -S.] I had at first fully intended, in publishing this and the foregoing letters, to have sup- pressed these passages wlierein my name is mentioned, and my discourse on religious affections recommended ; and am sensible, that by my doing otherwise, I shall bring upon mc the reproach of some. Bu. '.low much soever I may be pleased with the commenda- tions of any performance of mine, (and I confess I esteem the judgment and approb.i- tion of such a person as Brainerd worthy to be valued, and look on myself as hit;lily honored by it,) yet I can truly say, the things that governed me in altering my forenien- tioned determination with respect to these passages, were these two. (1.) What Brainerd here says of that discourse, shows very fully and particularly what his notions were of ex- perimental religion, and the nature of true piety, and how far he was from placing it in impressions on the imagination, or any enthusiastical impulses, and how essential in reli- gion he esteemed holy practice, etc. For ail that have read that discourse, know what sentiments are there expressed concerning those things. (2.) I judged, that the approba- tion of so apparent and eminent a friend and example of inward vital religion, and evan- gelical piety in the height of it, would probably tend to make that book more serviceable ; especially among some kinds of zealous persons, whose benefit was especially aimed at in the book ; some of which are prejudiced against it, as written in too legal a strain, and opposing some things wherein the height of Christian experience consists, and tending to build men upon their own works. 3i6 MEMOIRS OF liRAlNERD. y 1 then satisfied, that we have thus acted above self ; and in a disinterested manner, if I may so express it, rejoiced in the glory of the blessed God. I fear you are not sutificiently aware how much false religion there is in the world; many serious Christians and valuable ministers are too easily imposed upon by this false blaze. I likewise fear you are not sensible of the dreadful effects and consequences of this false religion. Let me tell you, it is the devil transformed into an angel of light ; it is a fiend of hell, that always springs up with every revival of religion, and stabs and murders the cause of God, while it passes current with multitudes of well meaning people for the height of religion. Set yourself, my brother, to crush all appearances of this nature, among the Indians, and never en- courage any degrees of heat without light. Charge my people in the name of their dying minister, yea, in the name of him who was dead ami is alive, to live and walk as becomes the gospel. Tell them how great the expectations of God and his people are from them, and how awfully they will wound God's cause, if they fall into vice ; as well as fatally pre- judice other poor Indians. Always insist, that their experiences are rotten, that their joys are delusive, although they may have been rapt up into the third heavens in their own conceit by them, unless the main tenor of their lives be spiritual, watchful, and holy. In pressing these things, ' thou shall both save thyself and those that hear thee.' " God knows I was heartily willing to have served him longer in the work of the ministry, although it had still been attended with all the labors and hardships of past years, if he had seen fit that it should be so : but as his will now appears otherwise, I am fully content, and can with the utmost freedom say, • The will of the Lord be done.' It affects me to think of leaving you in a world of sin ; my heart pities you, that those storms and tempests are yet before you, from which I trust, through grace, I am almost delivered. But 'God lives, and blessed be my rock;' he is the same almighty friend ; and will, I trust, be your guide and helper, as he has been mine. " And now, m; dear brother, ' I commend you to God and to the word of his grace,' which is able to build you up, and give you inheritance among all them that are sanctified. May you enjoy the divine presence, both in private and public ; and may ' the arms of your hands be made strong, by the right hand of the mighty God of Jacob ! ' Which are the passionate desires and prayers of " Your affectionate dying brother, "David Brainerd." " At this season, also, while I was confined at Boston, I read with care and attention some papers of old Mr. Sl.epard's, lately come to light, and designed for the press ; and, as I was desired, and greatly urged ■MIHH^ MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 317 made some corrections, where the sense was left dark, for want of a word or two. Besides this, I had many visitants, with whom, when I was able to speak, I always conversed of the things of religion; and was pecu- liarly assisted in distinguishing between the true and false religion of the times. There is scarcely any subject, which has been matter of contro- versy of late, but I was at one time or other compelled to discuss and show my opinion respecting it ; aiid that frequently before numbers of people. Especially, I discoursed repeatedly on the nature and necessity of that humiliation, self-emptiness, or full conviction of a person's being utterly undone in himself, which is necessary in order to a saving faith, and the extreme difficulty of being brought to this, and the great danger there ih of persons taking up with some self-righteous appearances of it. The danger of this I especially dwelt upon, being persuaded that multi- tudes perish in this hidden way ; and because so little is said from most pulpits to discover any danger here : so that persons being never effec- tually brought to die in themselves, are never truly united to Christ, and so perish. I also discoursed much on what I take to be the essence of true religion ; endeavoring plainly to describe that god-like temper and disposition of soul, and that holy conversation and behavior, which may justly claim the honor of having God for his original and patron. I have reason to hope God blessed my way of discoursing and distinguish- ing to some, both ministers and people ; so that my time was not wholly lost." ID BRAINERD.' He was much visited, while in Boston, by many persons of considerable note and character, and by some of the first rank ; who showed him uncommon respect, and appeared highly pleased and entertained with his conversation. Beside being honored with the company and respect of ministers of the town, he was visited by several ministers from various parts of the country. He took all opportunities to discourse on the peculiar nature, and distinguishing characteristics of true, spiritual, and vital religion ; and to bear his testimony against the various false appearances of it, consisting in, or arising from impressions on the imagination ; sudden and sup- posed immediate suggestions of truths not contained in the scripture, and that faith which consists primarily in a person believing that Christ died for him in particular, etc. What he said was, for the most part, heard with uncommon atten- tion and regard : and his discourses and reasonings appeared ^i8 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. manifestly to have great weight and influence, with many with whom he conversed, both ministers and others.* The honorable Commissioners, in Boston, of the incorpo- rated society in London for propagating the gospel in New- England and parts adjacent, having newly had committed to them a legacy of tiie late reverend and famous Dr. Daniel Williams, of London, for the support of two missionaries to the heathen, were pleased, while he was in Boston, to consult him about a mission to those Indians called the Six Nations, particularly about the qualifications requisite in a missionary to those Indians. They were so satisfied with his sentiments en this head, and had such confidence in his faithfulness, his judgment and discretion in things of this nature, that they desired him to undertake to find and recommend two persons fit to be employed in this business ; and very much left the matter with him. Several pious and generously disposed gentlemen in Boston, moved by the wonderful nar-ative of his labors and success among the Indians in New-Jersey, and more especial- ly by their conversation with him on the same subject, took opportunity to inquire more particularly into the state and necessities of his congregation, and the school among them, with a charitable intention of contributing something to pro- mote the excellent design of advancing the interests of Chris- tianity among the Indians. Understanding that there was a want of Bibles for the school, three dozen Bibles were im- mediately procured, and 14/. in bills, (of the old tenor,) given over and above, beside more large benefactions made after- wards, which I shall have occasion to mention in their proper place. Brainerd's restoration from his extremely low state in Boston, so as to go abroad again and to travel, was veiy un- * I have had advantage for the more full information of his conduct and conversation, the entertainment he mut with, and what passed relating to him while in Boston ; as he was constantly attended, during his continuance there, by one of my children, in order to his assistance in his illness. Mi MEMOIRS OF BRAINEFD. 319 ;h many with the incorpo 5pel in New- committed to i Dr. Daniel issionaries to Dn, to consult : Six Nations, I a missionary lis sentiments ithfulness, his ture, that they d two persons much left the gentlemen in his labors and more especial- ; subject, took the state and among them, [lething to pro- crests of Chris- at there was a ibles were im- tenor,) ^iven ns made after- |in their proper low state in 11, was veiy un- luct and conversation, nile in Boston ; as he children, in order to expected to him and his friends. My daughter, who was with him, writes thus concerning him, in a letter dated June 23 ; " On Thursday, he was very ill with a violent fever, and ex- treme pain in his head and breast, and, at turns, delirious. So he remained till Saturday evening, when he seemed to be in the agonies of death ; the family v/as up with him till one or two o'clock, expecting that every hour would be his last. On Sabbath day he was a little revived, his head was better, but very full of pain, and exceeding sore at his breast, much put to it for breath. Yesterday he was better upon all accounts. Last night he slept but little. This morning he was much worse. Dr, Pynchon says, he has no hopes of his life ; nor does he think it likely that he will ever come out of the chamber ; though he says he may be able to come to Northampton." In another letter, dated June 29, she says as follows : — " Mr. Brainerd has not so much pain, nor fever, since I last wrote, as before ; yet he is extremely weak and low, and very faint> expecting every day will be his last. He says, it is impossible for him to live ; for he has hardly vig- or enough to draw his breath, I went this morning into town, and when I came home, Mr. Bromfield said, he never expected I should see him alive ; for he lay two hours, as they thought, dying ; one could scarcely tell whether he was alive or not ; he was not able to speak for some time ; but now is much as he was before. The doctor thinks he will drop away in such a turn. Mr. Brainerd says he never felt anything so much like dissolution, as that he felt to-day ; and says, he never had any conception of its being possible for any creature to be alive, and yet so weak as he is from day to day. — Dr. Pynchon says, he should not be surprised, if he should so re- cover as to live half a year ; nor would it surprise him if he should die in half a day. Since I began to write he is not so well, having had a faint turn again ; yet patient and re- signed, having no distressing fears, but the contrary." It was ordered in divine Providence, that the strength of ff •'1 320 MEMOIRS OF BRAINBRD. M < 1 nature held out through this great conflict, so as just to es- cape the grave at that turn ; and then he revived, to the as- tonishment of all who knew his case. After he began to revive, he was visited by his youngest brother, Israel, a stu- dent at Yale College ; who, having heard of his extreme ill- ness, went from thence to Boston, in order to see him, if he might find him alive, which he but little expected. This visit was attended with a mixture of joy and sorro\f to Brainerd. He greatly rejoiced to see his brother, es- pecially because he had desired an opportunity of some reli- gious conversation with him before he died. But this meet- ing was attended with sorrow, as his brother brought to him the sorrowful tidings of his sister Spencer's death at Had- dam ; a sister, between whom and him had long subsisted a peculiarly dear affection, and much intimacy in spiritual matters, and whose house he used to make his own, when he went to Haddam, his native place. He had heard nothi^/g of her sickness till this report of her death. But he had these com- forts, together with the tidings, viz, a confidence of her being gone to heaven, and an expectation of his soon meeting her there. — His brother continued with him till he left the town, and came with him from thence to Northampton. — Concern- ing the last Sabbath Brainerd spent in Boston, he writes in his diary as follows : — *' Lord's day, July 19. I was just able to attend public worship, being carried to the house of God in a chaise. Heard Dr. Sewall preach, in the forenoon ; partook of the Lord's supper at this time. In this sacra- ment, I saw astonishing divine wisdom displayed ; such wisdom, as I saw, required the tongues of angels and glorified saints to celebrate. It seemed to me that I never should do anything at adoring the infinite wisdom of God, discovered in the contrivance of man's redemption, until I arrived at a world of perfection ; yet I could not help striving ' to call upon my soul, and all within me, to bless the name of God.' In the afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. I saw more of God in the wisdom discovered in the plan of man's redemption, than I saw of any other of his perfections, through the whole day." He left Boston the next day. But before he came away, MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 321 .s just to es- d, to the as- le began to :srael, a stu- extreme ill- se him, if he d. 1 and sorroMf brother, es- of some reli- 3ut this meet- ought to Mm eath at Had- g subsisted a J in spiritual own, when lie ard nothing of lad these com- e of her being meeting her left the town, 3n. — Concern- , he writes in c worship, being Sewall preach, in In this sacra- h wisdom, as 1 to celebrate. It oring the infinite ■edemption, until striving ' to call f God.' In the d in the wisdom o£ any other of le came away, he had occasJ Dn to bear a very full, plain, and open testimony against that opinion, that the essence of saving faith lies in believing that Christ died for me in particular ; and that this is the first act of faith in a true believer's closing with Christ. He did it in a long conference he had with a gen- tleman, who has very publicly and strenuously appeared to defend that tenet. He had this discourse with him in the presence of a number of respectable individuals who came to visit Brainerd before he left the town, and to take their leave of him. In this debate, he ii.tde this plain declaration, at the same time confirming what he said by many arguments, That the essence of saving faith was wholly left out of the definition which that gentleman has published ; and that the faith which he had defined had nothing of God in it, nothing above nature, nor indeed above the power of the devils ; and that all such as had this faith, and no better, though they might have this to never so high a degree, would surely per- ish. He declared also, that he never had greater assurance of the falseness of the principles of those who maintained such a faith, and of their dangerous and destructive tendency, or a more affecting sense of the great delusion and misery of those who depended on getting to heaven by such a faith, while they had no better, than he lately had when he was supposed to be at the point to die, and expected every minute to pass into eternity. — Erainerd's discourse at this time and the forcible reasonings by which he confirmed what he asserted, appeared to be greatly to the satisfaction of those present ; as several of them took occasion expressly to manifest to him, before they took leave of him. When this conversation, was ended, having bid an affec- tionate farewell to his friends, he set out in the cool of the afternoon, on his journey to Northampton, attended by his brother, and my daughter, who went with him to Boston ; and would have been accompanied out of the town by a num. her of gentlemen, besides that honorable person who gave him his company for some miles on that occasion, as a testimony 322 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. of their esteem and respect, had not his aversion to anything of pomp and show prevented it. '■*Jiily 25. I arrived here, at Northampton, having set out from Bos- ton on Monday. In this journey, I rode about sixteen miles a day, one day with another. Was sometimes extremely tired and faint on the road, so that it seemed impossible for me to proceed any further ; at other times I was considerably better, and felt some freedom both of body and mind. " LonVs day, July. 26. This day I saw clearly that I should never be happy, yea, that God himself could not make me happy, unless I could be in a capacity to * please and glorify him for ever.' Take away this, and admit me in all the fine heavens that can be conceived of by men or angels, and I should still be miserable forever." Though he had so revived as to be able to travel thus far, yet he manifested no expectation of recovery. He sup- posed as his physician did, that his being brought so near to death at Boston, was owing to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs. He told me that he had several such ill turns before, only not to so high a degree, but as he supposed, owing to the same cause, viz. the breaking of ulcers ; that he was brought lower and lower every time ; that it appeared to him, that in his last sickness he was brought as low as it was pos- sible, and yet live ; and that he had not the least expecta- tion of surviving the next return of this breaking of ulcers ; but still appeared perfectly calm in the prospect of death. On Wednesday morning, the week after he came to North- ampton, he took leave of his brother Israel, never expecting to see him again in this world ; he now setting out from hence on his journey to New-Haven, When he came hither he had so much strength as to be able, from day to day, to ride out two or three miles, and sometimes to pray in the family, but from this time he gradually decayed, becoming weaker and weaker. While he was here, his conversation from first to last was much on the same subjects as when in Boston. He spoke much of the nature of true religion in the heart and practice, as distinguished from its various counterfeits ; ex- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 323 on to anything pressing his great concern that the latter so much prevailed in many places. He often manifested his great abhorrence of all such doctrines and principles in religion as had any tendency to Antinomianism ; of all such notions, as seemed to diminish the necessity of holiness of life, or to abate men's regard to the commands of God, and a strict, diligent, and universal practice of virtue and piety, under a pretence of depreciating our works, and magnifying God's free grace. He spoke often, with much detestation of such experiences and pretended discoveries and joys, as have nothing of the nature of sanctification in them, as do not tend to strictness, tenderness, and diligence in religion, to meekness and benev- olence towards mankind, and an humble behavior. He also declared, that he looked on such pretended humility as worthy of no regard, which was not manifested by modesty of conduct and conversation. He spoke often with abhorrence of the spirit and practice which appear among the greater part of separatists at this day in the land, particularly those in the eastern parts of Connecticut ; in their condemn- ing and separating from the standing ministry and churches, their crying down learning and a learned ministry, their notion of an immediate call to the v.'ork of the ministry, and the forwardness of laymen to set up themselves as public teachers and preachers. He had been much conversant in the eastern part of Connecticut, it being near his native place, when the same principles, notion, and spirit began to operate, which have since prevailed to a greater height ; and had acquaintance with some of those persons who are become heads and leaders of the separatists. He had also been conversant with persons of the same class elsewhere ; and I heard him say, once and again, that he knew by his acquaintance with this sort of people, that what was chiefly and most generally in repute among them as the power of godliness, was an entirely different thing from that true vital piety recommended in the scriptures, and had nothing in it of that nature. He manifested a great dislike of a disposi- M 324 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, tion in persons to much noise and show in religion, and affecting to be abundant in proclaiming and publishing their own experiences. Though at the same time he did not con- demn, but approved of Christians speaking of their own ex- periences on some occasions, and to some persons, with due modesty and discretion. He himself sometimes, while at my house, spake of his own experiences ; but it was always with apparent reserve, and in the exercise of care and judg- ment with respect to occasions, persons, and circumstances. He mentioned some remarkable things of his own religious experience to two young gentlemen,' candidates for the min- istry, who watched with him, each at different times, when he was very low, and not far from his end ; but he desired both of them not to speak of what he had told them till after his death. The subject of the debate already mentioned, which he had with a certain gentleman, the day he left ,3oston, seemed to lie with much weight on his mind after he ca,me hither. He began to write a letter to that gentleman, expressing his sentiments concerning the dangerous tendency of some of the tenets he had expressed in conversation, and in the writings he had published, with the considerations by which the ex- ceeding hurtful nature of those notions is evident, but he had not strength to finish his letter. After he came hither, as long as he lived, he spoke much of that future prosperity of Zion, which is so often foretold and promised in the scripture. It was a theme upon which he delighted to dwell ; and his mind seemed to be carried forth with earnest concern about it, and intense desires that religion might speedily and abundantly revive and flourish. Though he had not the least expectation of recovery, yea, i the nearer death advanced, and the more the symptoms of its approach increased, still the more did his mind seem to be taken up with this subject. He told me, when near his end, that *" he never in all his life had his mind so led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ'sj MEMOIRS OF PKAINERD. 32s religion, and iblishing their e did not con- their own ex- sons, with due mes, while at it was always :are and judg- circumstances. 5 own religious es for the min- nt times, when Dut he desired [ them till after )ned, which he ,3oston, seemed arne hither. He expressing his icy of some of 1 in the writings which the ex- ent, but he had he spoke much often foretold ne upon which to be carried ise desires that e and flourish, recovery, yea, le symptoms of lind seem to be when near his nd so led forth hing of Christ's kingdom on earth, as since he was brought so exceeding low at Boston." He seemed much to wonder, that there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers and people to pray for the flourishing of religion through the world ; that so little a part of their prayers was generally taken up about it, in their families, and elsewhere. Particularly, he several times ex- pressed his wonder, that there appeared no more forward- ness to comply with the proposal lately made in a memorial from a number of ministers in Scotland,* and sent over into America, for united extraordinary prayer, among Christ's ministers and people, for the coming of Christ's kingdom : and sent it as his dying advice to his own congregation, that they should practice agreeably to that proposal. f Though he was constantly exceeding weak, yet there ap- peared in him a continual care well to improve time, and fill it up with something that might be profitable, and in some respect for the glory of God or the good of men ; either prof- * [In a tract published in 1747, urging a " visible union of God's people i.i extraordinary prayers," President Edwards " pealed out his trumpet-call summoning tiie whole Christian world to prayer" for the speedy coming of Christ's kingdom in millenial power and glory ; and as a motive, an incentive, in this same tract he refers to the day of fasting and prayer kept at Northampton the year before, which was followed that same night by the utter dispersion and defeat of the French Armada under the Duke d'Aiiville. And Edwards adds : " This is the nearest parallel with God's wonderful works of old in the times of Moses, Joshua and Hezekiah, of any that have been in these latter ages of the world." This tract was published and widely circulated in Scotland and in England, and produced a profound impression there, as well as throughout the infant Church in the New World, " and marked a turning point in modern history." And who can doubt that Edwards was in a measure inspired and prompted to write this masterly appeal by his intercourse with Brainerd, and his admiration of his character, and knowledge of the wonders which God had wrought by him. This very year it was that this missionary saint had gone up as in a chariot of fire from the bosom of Edwards' family, and the sacred mantle of this ascended prophet of missions had fallen upon him, and he was to continue the work, not only among the Stockbridge Indians, as he afterward* did in a personal ministry, but on a broader and more conspicuous theater in the sight and hearing of all Christendom — J MS.] t His congregation, since this, have with great cheerfulness and unanimity fallen in with this advice, and have practised agreeably to the proposal from Scotland ; and have at times appeared with uncommon engagedness and fervency of spirit in their meetings and united devotions, pursuant to that proposal. Also the Presbyteries of New York and New Brunswick, since this, have, with one consent, fallen in with the proposal, as likewise some other of God's people in those parts. 326 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. itable conversation ; or writing letters to absent friends ; or noting something in his diary ; or looking over his former writings, correcting them, and preparing them to be left in the hands of others at his death ; or giving some directions concerning the future management of his people ; or employ- ment in secret devotions. He seemed never to be easy, how- ever ill, if he was not doing something for God, or in his service. After he came hither, he wrote a preface to a diary of the famous Mr. Shepard's, in those papers before men- tioned, lately found, having been much urged to it by those gentlemen in Boston .who had the care of the publication ; which diary, with his preface, has since been published. In his diary for Lord's day, Aug 9, he speaks of longing desires after death, through a sense of the excellency of a state of perfection. In his diary for Lord's day, Aug, 16, he speaks of his having so much refreshment of soul in the house of God, that it seemed also to refresh his body. And this is not only noted in his diary, but was very obser\ able to others ; it was very apparent, not only that his mind was exhilarated with inward consolation, but also that his animal spirits and bodily strength seemed to be remarkably restored, as though he had forgot his illness. But this was the last time that he ever attended public worship on the Sabbath. On Tuesday morning that week, as I was absent on a journey, he prayed with my family, but not without much difficulty, for want of bodily strength ; and this was the last family prayer that he ever made. He had been wont, till now, frequently to ride out, two or three miles ; but this week, on Thursday, was the last time he ever did so. " LorcTs day Aug. 23. This morning I was considerably refreshed with the thought, yea, the hope and expectation of the enlargement of Christ's kingdom ; and I could not but hope, that the time was at hand, when Babylon the great would fall and rise no more. This led me to some spiritual meditations, which were very refreshing to me. I was unable to attend public worship either part of the day ; but God was pleased to af- ford me fixedness and satisfaction in divine thoughts. Nothing so re- freshes my soul, as when T can go to God, yea, to God my exceeding joy. MEMOIRS OF BRAINEKD. 327 ;ent friends ; or Dver his former ;m to be left in some directions pie ; or employ- \o be easy, how- God, or in his eface to a diary irs before men- id to it by those he publication ; published. eaks of longing excellency of a iay, Aug, 16, he loul in the house . And this is not ble to others ; it was exhilarated imal spirits and ored, as though ast time that he as absent on a without much his was the last been wont, till miles; but this did so. ably refreshed with gement of Christ's as at hand, when J led me to some I was unable to was pleased to af- Nothing so re- my exceeding joy. When he is so sensibly to my soul, O how unspeakably delightful is this. In the week past, I had divers turns of inward refreshing ; though my body was inexpressibly weak, followed continually with agues and fevers. Sometimes my soul centred in God, as my only portion ; and I felt that I should be for ever unhappy, if He did not reign. I saw the sweetness and happiness of being his subject, at his disposal. This made all my difficulties quickly vanish. " From this Lord's day, viz,. Aug. 23, I was troubled very much with vapory disorders, and could neither write nor read, and could scarcely live ; although through mercy, was not so much oppressed with heavy melancholy and gloominess, as at many other times." Till this week, he had been wont to lodge in a room above stairs ; but he now grew so weak that he was no longer able to go up stairs and down. Friday, Aug. 28, was the last time he ever went above stairs ; henceforward he betook himself to a lower room. On Wednesday, Sept. 2, being the day of our public lecture, he seemed to be refreshed with seeing the neighboring minis- ters who came hither to the lecture, and expressed a great de- sire once more to go to the house of God on that day ; and accordingly rode to the meeting and attended divine service, while the Reverend Mr. Woodbridge, of Hatfield, preached. He signified that he supposed it to be the last time he should ever attend public worship, as it proved. Indeed, it was the last time that he ever went out of our gate alive. On the Saturday evening following, he was unexpectedly visited by his brother, John Braineid, who came to see him from New Jersey. He was much refreshed by this unex- pected visit, this brother being peculiarly dear to him, and he seemed to rejoice in a devout and solemn manner, to see him and to hear the comfortable tidings which he brought concerning the state of his dear congregation of Christian Indians. A circumstance of this visit, of which he was ex- ceedingly glad was, that his brother brought him some of his private writings from New Jersey, and particularly his diary which he had kept for many years past. " Lord's day, Sept. 6. I began to read some of my private writings, which > h- ': 328 MEMO/US 'JF BRAINERD, my brother brouglit mc ; and was considerably refreshed with what 1 found in them. — Sept. 7. I proceeded further in reading my old private writings, and found that tliey had the same effect upon me as before. I could not but rejoice and bless God for what passed long ago, which without writing had been entirely lost. — This evening, when I was in great distress of body, my soul longed that God should be glorified ; I saw there was no character but this. I could not but speak to the by- standers then of the only happiness, viz,, pleasing God. O that I could for ever live to God ! The day, I trust, is at hand, the perfect day. O the day of deliverance from all .sin I *^ Lord^s day, Sept. 13. I was much refreshed and engaged in medita- tion and writing, and found a heart to act for God. My spirits were refreshed, and my soul delighted to do something for God." On the evening following that Lord's day, his feet began to swell ; which thenceforward swelled more and more. The next day his brother John left him, being obliged to return to New Jersey on some business of great importance and necessity ; intending to return again with all possible speed, hoping to see his brother yet once more in the land of the living. Brainerd having now with much deliberation, considered of the important affair before mentioned, which was referred to him by the honorable Commissioners in Boston, of the cor- poration in London for the propagation of the gospel in New England and parts adjacent, viz., the fixing upon and recom- mending of two persons proper to b^ employed as mission- aries to the Six Nations ; about this time wrote a letter re- commending two young gentlemen of his acquaintance, viz., Mr. Elihu Spencer, of East Haddam, and Mr. Job Strong, of Northampton. The commissioners, on the receipt of this letter unanimously agreed to accept and employ the persons so re- commended. One of them, Mr. Spencer, has been solemnly ordained to that work, by several of the ministers of Boston, in the presence of an ecclesiastical council convened for that purpose ; and is now gone forth to the nation of Oneidas, about 170 miles beyond Albany. On Wednesday, Sept. 16, he wrote a letter to a gentleman MEMOIRS OF BRAmERD. 329 led with what I 5 my old private ne as before. I ong ago, which , when I was in be glorified ; I speak to the by- O that I could the perfect day. igaged in medita- My spirits were jd>' his feet began id more. The liged to return nportance and possible speed, the land of the on, considered h was referred ton, of the cor- ospel in New n and recom- d as mission- te a letter re- aintance, viz.. Job Strong, of |pt of this letter persons so re- been solemnly ers of Boston, ivened for that n of Oneidas, to a gentleman in Boston, (one of those charitable persons beforementioned, who appeared so forward to contribute of their substance for promoting Christianity among the Indians, relating to the growth of the Indian school, and the need of another school- master, or some person to assist the schoolmaster in instruct- ing the Indian children. These gentlemen, on the receipt of this letter, had a meeting and agreed to give 200/, for the sup- port of another schoolmaster: and desired the Rev. Mr. Pember- ton, of New York,(who was present at the meeting,)to procure a suitable person ; and also agreed to allow 74/. to defray some special charges which were requisite to encourage the mission to the Six Nations, ( besides the salary allowed by the com- missioners,) which was also done on some intimations given by Brainerd. Brainerd spent himself much in writing those letters, being exceedingly weak ; but it seemed to be much to his satisfaction that he had been enabled to do it ; hoping that it was something done for God, and which might be for the advancement of Christ's kingdom and glory. In writing the last of these letters, he was obliged to use the hand of another, not being able to write himself. Thursday of this week, (Sept. 17,) was the last time he went out of his lodging-room. That day, he was again visited by his brother Israel, who continued with him thenceforward till his death. On that evening he was taken with something of a diarrhea, which he looked upon as another sign of his approaching death ; whereupon he expressed himself thus : " O, the glorious time is now coming ! I have longed to serve God perfectly : now God will gratify those desires ! " And from time to time, at the several steps and new symp- toms of the sensible approach of his dissolution, he was so far from being sunk or damped, that he seemed to be ani- mated, and made more cheerful, as being glad at the appear- ance of death's approach. He often used the epithet glori- ous, when speaking of the day of his death, calling it that glorious day. And as he saw his dissolution gradually ap- 330 MEAfO/RS OF DRAINRRD, proaching, he t.ilkcd much about it ; and with perfect calm- ness spoke of a future slate. He also settled all his affairs, giving directions very minutely, concerning what he would have done after his decease. And the nearer death ap- proached, the more desirous he seemed to be of it. He several times spoke of the different kinds of willingness to die ; and represented it as an ignoble, mean kind, to be willing to leave the body, only to get rid of pain ; or to go to heaven, only to get honor and advancement there. "Sept. 19. Near night, while I attempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus : ' How infinitely sweet it is, to love God, and be all for him ! ' Upon which it was suggested to me, * You are not an angel, not lively and active.' To which my whole soul immediately replied, ' I as sincerely desire to love and glorify God, as any angel in heaven.' Upon which it was suggested again, ' But you are filthy, not fit for heaven.' Hereupon instantly appeared the blessed robes of Christ's righteousness, in which I could not but exult and triumph ; and I viewed the infinite excellency of God, and my soul even broke with longings, that God should be glorified. I thought of dignity in heaven ; but instantly the thought re- turned, * I do not go to heaven to get honor, but to give all possible glory and praise.' O how I longed that God should be glorified on earth also ! I was made — for eternity — if God might be glorified ! Bodily pains I cared not for , though I was then in extremity, I never felt easier. I felt willing to glorify God in that state of bodily distress, as long as he pleased 1 should continue in it. The grave appeared really sweet, and I longed to lodge my weary bones in it: but Oh, that God might be glorified! this was the burden of all my cry. oh, I knew that I should be active as an angel, in heaven ; and that I should be stripped of my filthy garments I so that there was no objection. But, O to love and praise God more, to please him for ever ! this my soul panted after, and even now pants for v.'hile I write. O that God might be glorified in the whole earth ! ' Lord iet thy kingdom come.' I longed for a .spirit of preaching to descend and rest on ministers, that they might address the consciences of men with closeness and power. I saw that God * had the residue of the Spirit ; and my soul longed that it should be ' poured from on high. ' I could not but plead with God for my dear congregation, that he would preserve it, and not suffer his great name to lose its glory in that work; my soul still longing that God might be glorified." The extraordinary frame he was in, that evening, could not be hid. " His mouth spake out of the abundance of his heart," MEMOIRS OF BRAINRRD. 33 » perfect calm- ill his affairs, liat he would rer death ap- )e of it. He willingness to 1 kind, to be n ; or to go to ere. ittle, my thoughts d be all for him ! ' gel, not lively and 1, ' I as sincerely .' Upon which it aven.' Hereupon ;ousness, in which infinite excellency it God should be ly the thought re- ; all possible glory fied on earth also ! ! Bodily pains I felt easier. I felt [long as he pleased eet, and I longed It be glorified ! this lid be active as an filthy garments! aise God more, to en now pants for lole earth! 'Lord |ng to descend and nces of men with lue of the Spirit; •nhigh.' I could le would preserve It work ; my soul Ining, could not le of his heart," expressing in a very affecting manner much the same things as are written in his diary. Among very many other extra- ordinary expressions, which he then uttered, were such as these : " My heaven is to please God, and glorify him, and to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory : that is the heaven I long for ; that is my religion, and that is my happiness, and always was ever since I suppose I had any true religion : and all those that are of that religion shall meet me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I shall be stationed in heaven, whether I have a high or low seat there ; but to love, and please, and glorify God is all. Had I a thou- sand souls, if they were worth anything, I would give them all to God ; but I have nothing to give, when all is done. It is impossible for any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God ; God himself could not make him happy any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorify- ing God with the holy angels ; all my desire is to glorify God. My heart goes out to the burying place ; it seems to me a desirable place ; but O to glorify God ! that is it ; that is above all. It is a great comfort to me to think, that I have done a little fc God in the world. Oh I it is but a very small matter, yet I have done a little ; and I lament it, that T have not done more for him. There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good, and finishing God's work, doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satisfaction, besides living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole will. My greatest joy and comfort has been, to do something for promoting the interest of religion and the souls of particular persons : and now, in my illness, while I am full of pain and distress, from day to day, all the comfort I have, is in being able to do some little service for God, either by something that I say, or by writing or in some other way." He intermingled with these and other like expressions, many pathetical counsels to those who were about him, particu- l-t 332 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. larly to my children and servants. He applied himself to some of my younger children at this time ; calling them to him, and speaking to them one by one ; setting before them, in a very plain manner, the nature and essence of true piety, and its great importance and necessity ; earnestly warning them not to rest in anything short of a true and thorough change of heart, and a life devoted to God. He counseled them not to be slack in the great business of religion, nor in the least to delay it ; enforcing his counsels with this, that his words were the words of a dying man : said he, " I shall die here, and here I shall be buried, and here you will see my grave, and do you remember what I have said to you. I am going into eternity : and it is sweet for me to think of eternity : the endlessness of it makes it sweet : but, oh, what shall I say to the eternity of the wicked ! I cannot mention it, nor think of it ; the thought is too dreadful. When you see my grave, then remember what I said to you while I was alive ; then think with yourself, how the man who lies in that grave, counseled and warned me to prepare for death." His body seemed to be marvellously strengthened, through the inward vigor and refreshment of his mind ; so that, al- though before he was so weak that he could hardly utter a sentence, yet now he continued his most affecting and profita- ble discourse to us for more than an hour, with scarce any intermission ; and said of it, when he had done, " it was the last sermon that ever he should preach." — This extraordinary frame of mind continued the next day, of which he says in his diary as follows : ^'- Lor d^s day Sept. 20. Was still in a sweet and comfortable frame; and was again melted with desires that God might be glorified, and with longings to love and live to him. Longed for the influences of the divine Spirit to descend on ministers, in a special manner. And oh, I longed to be with God, to behold his glory, and to bow in his presence ! " It appears by what is noted in his diary both of this day and the evening preceding, that his mind at this time was much impressed with a sense of the importance of the work MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. ZZ2> of the ministry, and the need of the grace of God, ?nd his special spiritual assistance in this work. It also appeared in what he expressed in conversation ; particularly in his dis- course to his brother Israel, who was then a member of Yale College at New-Iiaven, prosecuting his studies for the work fo the ministry.* He now, and from time to time, in his dying state, recommended to his brother a life of self-denial, of weanedness from the world, and devotedness to God, and an earnest endeavor to obtain much of the grace of God's Spirit, and God's gracious influences on his heart ; represent- ing the great need which ministers stand in of them, and the unspeakable benefit of them from hi;: own experience. Among many other expressions, he said thus : " When ministers feel these special gracious influences on their hearts, it wonderfully assists them to come at the consciences of men, and as it were to handle them ; whereas, without them, whatever reason and oratory we make use of, we do but make use of stumps, instead of hands." ^^ Sept. 21. I began to correct a little volume of my private writings. God, I believe, remarkably helped me in it ; my strength was surprisingly lengthened out, my thoughts were quick and lively, and my soul re- freshed, hoping it might be a work for God. O how good, how sweet it is to labor for God ! " Sept. 22. Was again employed in reading and correcting, and had the same success, as the day before. I was exceeding weak ; but it seemed to refresh " ny soul, thus to spend time. — Sept. 23. I finished my corrections of the litth piece before-mentioned, and felt uncommonly peaceful : it seemed as if I had now done all my work in this world, and stood ready for my call to a better. As long as I see any thing to be done for God, life is worth having : but oh, how vain and unworthy it is, to live for any lower end ! — this d-y, I indited a letter, I think, of great importance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram in New-Jersey. Oh that God would bless and succeed that letter, which was written for the benefit of his • This young gentleman was an ingenious, serious, studious, and hopefully pious per- son ; there appeared in him many qualities giving hope of his being a great blessing in his day. But it has pleased God, since the death of his brother, to take him away also. He died that winter, ai New- Haven, January 6, 1748, of a nervous fever, alter about a fort- night's illneu. 334 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 3 i i church ! • Oh that God would purify the sons of Levi, that his glory may be advanced ! This night, I endured a dreadful turn, wherein mv life was expected scarce an hour or minute together. But blessed be God, I have enjoyed considerable sweetness in divine things, this week both by night and day. ^^ Sept. 2^. My strength began to fail exceedingly; which looked fur- ther as if I had done all my work ; however, I had strength to fold and superscribe my letter. About two I went to bed, being weak and much disordered, and lay in a burning fever till night, without any proper rest. In the evening, I got up, having lain down in some of my clothes ; but was in the greatest distress, that ever I endured, having an uncommon kind of hiccough ; which either strangled me, or threw me into a straining to vomit ; and at the same time was distressed with griping pains. O the distress of this evening ! I had little expectation of my living the night through, nor indeed had any about me ; and I longed for the finish- ing moment ! 1 was obliged to repair to bed by six o'clock ; and through mercy enjoyed some rest ; but was grievously distressed at turns with the hiccough. My soul breathed after Gid, — ' When shall I come to God, even to God, my exceeding joy .-' ' Oh ]'( v 'i.:^ . sed likeness ! "Sept. 25. This day, I was unspeakably weak, and little better than speechless all the day ; however, 1 was able to write a little, and felt comfortably in some part of the day. O it refreshed my soul, to think of former things, of desires to glorify God, of the pleasures of living to him ! O, blessed God, I am speedily coming to thee, I hope. Hasten the day, O Lord, if it be thy blessed will, O come. Lord Jesus, come quickly. Amen.t *' Sept. 26. I felt the sweetness of divine things, this forenoon ; and had the consolation of a consciousness that I was doing something for God. " Lord's day Sept. 27. This was a very comfortable day to my soul ; I think I awoke with God. I was enabled to lift up my soul to • !, early this morning; and while I had little bodily strength, I found .*., • !• n to lift up my heart to God for myself and others. Afterwards, >v • ■ le- ?ed with the thought of speedily entering into the unseen world.'' _ Early this morning, as one of the family came into the room he expressed himself thus : " I have had more pleasure this morning than all the drunkards in the world enjoy." So * It was concerning the qualifications of ministers, and the examination and licensing of candidates for the work of the ministry. t This was the last time that ever he wrote in his Diary with his ow\ ind ; though it is continued a little farther, in a broken manner ; written by his brothei * r >1, but indited by his mouth in this his weak and dying state. MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 335 [lis glory may erein my life ;ed be God, I veek both by h looked fur- i to fold and eak and much ly proper rest. \i clothes ; but an uncommon into a straining ling pains. O my living the , for the finish- ; o'clock; and tressed at turns len shall I come sed likeness ! ittle better than little, and felt soul, to think of )f living to him! asten the day, come quickly. orenoon ; and lething for God. y to my soul ; I 1 to • I, early unc' ..••''" to s^ v • - le 'sed Id." ame into the lore pleasure enjoy. So much did he esteem the joy of faith above the pleasures of sin. He felt that morning an unusual appetite for food, with which his mind seemed to be exhilarated, looking on it as a sign of the very near approach of death. At this time he also said, " I was born on a Sabbath-day ; and I have reason to think I was new-born on a Sabbath-day ; and I hope I shall die on this Sabbath-day. I shall look upon it as a favor if it may be the v/ill of God that it should be so : I long for the time. O why is his chariot so long in coming ? why tarry the wheels of his chariot ? I am very willing to part with all ; I am willing to part with my dear brother John, and never to see him again, to go to be forever with the Lord.* O, when I go there, how will God's dear church on earth be upon my mind ! " Afterwards, the same morning, being asked how he did, he answered, " I am almost in eternity ? I long to be there. My work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the world is nothing to me. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorify- ing God with the holy angels. All my desire is to glorify God." During the whole of these last two weeks of his life, he seemed to continue in this frame of heart ; loose from all the world, as having finished his work, and done with all thmgs here below. He had now nothing to do but to die, and to abide in an earnest desire and expectation of the happy moment, when his soul should take its flight to a state of perfect holiness, in which he should be found perfectly glori- fying and enjoying God. He said, " That the consideration of the day of death, and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him." From time to time he spoke of his being willing to leave the body and the world im- mediately, that day, that night, that moment, if it was the will of God. He also was much engaged in expressing his longings Ution and licensing ind ; though it T r fl, but indited • He had, before this, expressed a desire, if it might be the will of God, to live till his brother returned from New Jersey ; who, when he went away, intended if possible, to perform his journey and return in a fortnight, hoping once more to meet his brother in the land of the living. The fortnight was now near expired, it ended the next day. 336 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. that the church of Christ on earth might flourish, and Christ's kingdom here might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about to leave the earth, and shouH not with his eyes behold the desirable event, nor be instrumental in promoting it. He said to me one morning, as I came into his room, " My thoughts have been employed on the old dear theme, the prosperity of God's church on earth. As I waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, for which the Redeemer did and suffered so much. It is that especially Vihich makes me long for it." He expressed much hope that a glorious advancement of Christ's kingdom was near at hand. He once told me, that " he had formerly longed for the outpouring of the Spirit of God and the glorious times of the Church, and hoped they were coming ; and should have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God ; but, says he, I am willing it should be as it is ; I would not have the choice to make for myself, for ten thousand worlds." He expressed on his death-bed a full persuasion that he should in heaven see the prosperity of the Church on earth, and should rejoice with Christ therein ; and the consideration of it seemed to be highly pleasing and satisfying to his minu. He also still dwelt much on the great importance of the work of gospel ministers, and expressed his longings, that they might be filled with the Spirit of God. He manifested much desire to see some of the neighboring ministers, with whom he had some acquaintance, and of whose sincere friend- ship he was confident that he might converse freely with them on that subject, Jbefore he died. And it so happened, that he had opportunity with some of them according to his desire. Another thing that lay much on his heart, from time to time, in these near approaches of death, was the spiritual prosperity of his own congregation of Christian Indians in New-Jersey ; and when he spake of them, it was with peculiar MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 337 and Christ's ding he was J eyes behold oting it. He room, "My ir theme, the vaked out of God's Spirit, or which the iiat especially uch hope that was near at onged for the js times of the )uld have been at time, if that illing it should ike for myself, lis death-bed a le prosperity of Christ therein ; y pleasing and )ortance of the longings, that iHe manifested ] ministers, with sincere friend- Ireely with them 3pened, that he [to his desire. t, from time to Is the spiritual Ian Indians in Is with peculiar tenderness ; so that his speech would be presently interrupted and drowned with tears. He also expressed much satisfaction in the disposals of Providence, with regard to the circumstances of his death ; particularly that God had before his death given him an oppor- tunity in Boston with so many considerable persons, ministers and others, to give in his testimony for Gods against false re- ligion, and many mistakes that lead to it, and promote it. He was much pleased that he had an opportunity there to lay before pious and charitable gentlemen the state of the Indians, and their necessities to so good effect, and that God had since enabled him to write to them further, concerning these affairs ; and to write other letters of importance, which he hoped might be of good influence with regard to the state of religion among the Indians, and elsewhere, after his death. He ex- pressed great thankfulness to God for his mercy in these things. He also mentioned it as what he accounted a merci- ful circumstance of his death, that he should die here. When he was sick at Boston, nigh unto death, it was with reluctance he thought of dying in a place where funerals are often at- tended with a pomp and show, to any appearance of which he was very averse : and though it was with some difficulty he got his mind reconciled to the prospect then before him, yet at last he was brought to acquiesce in the divine will, with re- spect to this circumstance of his departure. However, it pleased God to order the event so as to gratify his desire which he had expressed, of getting back to Northampton, with a view particularly to a more silent and private burial. And speaking of these things, he said, *' God had granted him all his desire ; " and signified, that now he could with the greatest alacrity leave the world. *^Sept. 28. I was able to read and make some few corrections in my private writings ; but found I could not write as I had done ; I found my- self sensibly declined in all respects. It ha' been only from a little while before noon, till about one or two o'clock, that I have been able to do any thing for some time past ; yet this refreshed my heart that I could do any thing either public or private, that I hoped was for God." 338 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. This evening he was supposed to be dying. He thought so himself, and was thought so by those who were about him. He seemed glad at the appearance of the near approach of death. He was almost speechless, but his lips appeared to move ; and one that sat very near him, heard him utter such expressions as these, " Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly. Oh why is his chariot so long in coming." After he revived, he blamed himself for having been too eager to be gone. And in expressing what he found in the frame of his mind at that time, he said, he then found an inexpressibly sweet love to those whom he looked upon as belonging to Christ beyond almost all that ever he felt before, so that it seemed, to use his own words, " like a little piece of heaven to have one of them near him." And being asked, whether he heard the prayer that was, at his desire, made with him ; he said, " Yes, he heard every word, and had an uncommon sense of the things that were uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached his heart." On the evening of Tuesday, Sept. 29, as he lay on his bed, he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly engaged in sweet meditations concerning the prosperity of Zion. There being present here at that time two young gentlemen of his acquaintance, who were candidates for the ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a Psalm on that subject, even Zion's prosperity. And on his desire we sung a part of the lozd Psalm. This seemed much to refresh and revive him, and gave him new strength ; so that, though be- fore he could scarcely speak at all, now he proceeded, with some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to those two young gentlemen before mentioned, relating to their prep- aration for, and prosecution of that great work of the minis- try for which they were designed ; and in particular earnestly recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer : and enforced his counsel with regard to this from his own ex- pe/ience of the great comfort and benefit of it, which said he, I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person. MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, 339 He thought e about him. approach of , appeared to im utter such )me quickly. ;r he revived, DC gone. And mind at that sweet love to :hrist beyond jemed, to use o have one of he heard the le said, " Yes, n sense of the lat every word lay on his bed, mind greatly prosperity of le two young iidates for the Psalm on that iesire we sung |to refresh and lat, though be- oceeded, with Insels to those to their prep- of the minis- [ular earnestly and prayer: |m his own ex- hich said he, lying person. After he had finished his counsel, he made a prayer, in the audicnc .' of us all : wherein, ^beside praying for this family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the ministry, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the world, — Till now he had every day sat up part of the day ; but after this he never rose from his bed. " Sept. Tp. I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day, through weakness. However, redeemed a little time, and with the help of my brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages in my MS. giving an ac- count of my conversion. " Oct. I. I endeavored again to do something by way of writing, but soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail. Felt not so sweetly, as when I was able to do something which I hoped would do some good. In the evening, was discomposed and wholly delirious ; but it was not long before God was pleased to give me some sleep, and fully composed my mind.* O blessed be God for his great goodness to me, since I was so low at Mr. Bromfield's on Thursday, June iS, last. He has, except those few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason, and enabled me to labor much for him, in things both of a public and private nature ; and perhaps to do more good than I should have done if I had been well ; besides the comfortable influence of his blessed Spirit, with which he has been pleased to refresh my soul. May his name have all the glory for ever and ever. Amen. » " Oct. 2. My soul was this day, at turns, sweetly set on God ; I long- ed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly disposed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my ab- sent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. O that his kingdom might come in the world ; that they might all love and glorify him, for what he is in himself ; and that the blessed Redeemer might see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied ! Oh, come Lord Jesus, come quickly ! Amen."t The next evening we expected his brother John from New Jersey, it being about a week after the time that he proposed for his return when he went away. Though our expectations * From this time forward, he liad the free use of his reason till the day b^'fore his death, except that at some times he appeared a little lost for a moment, when first waking out of sleep. t Here ends his diary. These are the last words which are writtea in it either by hi» own hand, or by any other from his mouth. ^ 340 MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. were still disappointed, yet Brainerd seemed to continue un- moved, in the same calm and peaceful frame, v/hich he had before manifested ; as having resigned all to God, and having done with his friends, and with all things here below. On the morning of the next day, being Lord's day, Oct. 4, as my daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended him, came into the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, " Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part with me ? I am quite willing to part with you ; I am willing to part with all my friends, I am willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love him the best of any creature living : I have committed him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with God. Though if I thought I should not see you, and be happy with you in another world, I could not bear to part with you. But we shall spend a happy eternity together ! "* In the evening, as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he ex- pressed himself thus : " O that dear book ! that lovely book ! *[With what sorrow and grief, and yet rejoicing of spirit, did the pen of Edwards trace the following note ! This " dear child " was afiSanced to Brainerd, and was a kindred spirit in the highest walks of Christian experience. She had hoped to join him in his work for Christ among the poor Indians, and for years had been in training for the Lord's service. But God had a higher sphere for them both. It was, however, her priyilege and joy to minister to Brainerd during his long illness in Boston and afterward at her father's house. Young, gifted in person and mind, and " uncommonly devoted to God," according to the testimony of her father, the separation of these loving kindred souls was but for a day.— J. M. S.] Since this, it has pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear child by death, on the 14th of February, next following, after a short illness of five days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit with Brainerd. She had constantly taken care of and attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death : devoting herself to it with great delight, because she looked on him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this time he had much conversation with her on the things of religion ; and in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great satisfaction concerning her true piety, and his confidence that he should meet her in heaven, and his high opinion of her, not only as a true Christian, but a very eminent saint, one whose soul was uncommonly fed and entertained with things which appertain to the most spiritual, experimental, and distinguishing parts .of religion : and one who, by the temper of her mind, was fitted to deny herself for God and to do good, beyond any young wcmai> whatsoever whom he knew. She had manifested a heart uncommonly de- voted to God, in the course of her life, many years before her death ; and said on her death- bed that " she had not seen one minute for several years wherein she desired to live on* minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life but doing good, Uving to God, and doing what might be for his glory." MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 341 ontinue un- lich he had , and having low. , day, Oct. 4, n, came into said, " Dear quite willing friends, I am ough I love immitted him ;m with God. )e happy with rith you. But 1 the evening, hand, he ex- t lovely book I of Edwards trace the was a kindred spirit )in him in his work lining for the Lord's jwever, her privilege |nd afterward at her ily devoted to God," ,g kindred souls was lis my dear child by of five days, in the Ipirit with Brainerd. I for nineteen weeks lie looked on him as ersation with her on [er parents, his great Ishould meet her in la very eminent saint, Ich appertain to the and one who, by good, beyond any art uncommonly de- |nd said on her death- desired to hve on» living to God, and I shall soon see it opened ! the mysteries that are in it and the mysteries of God's providence will be all unfolded ! " His distemper now very apparently preyed on his vitals in an extraordhiary manner ; not by the sudden breaking of ulcers in his lungs, as at Boston, but by a constant dis- charge of purulent matter in great quantities : so that what he brought up by expectoration, seemed to be as it were mouth- fuls of almost clear pus ; which was attended with very inward pain and distress. On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay, for a considerable time, as if he were dying. At which time, he was heard to utter, in broken whispers, such expressions as these : *' He will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be in glory. I shall soon glorify God with the angels." But after some time he revived. The next day, his brother John arrived from New Jersey ; where he had been detained much longer than he intended by a mortal sickness among the Christian Indians, and by some other circumstances that made his stay with them necessary. Brainerd was affected and refreshed with seeing him, and ap- peared fully satisfied with the reasons of his delay ; seeing the interest of religion and the souls of his people required it. The next day he was in great distress and agony of body, and for the greater part of the time, was much disordered as to the exercise of his reason. In the evening he was more composed, and hau the use of his reason well, but the pain of his body continued and increased. He told me that it was impossible for any one to conceive of the distress which he felt in his breast. He manifested much concern lest he should dishonor God by impatience, under his extreme agony ; which was such, that he said, the thought of enduring it one minute longer was almost insupportable. He desired that others would do much in lifting up their hearts continually to God for him, that God would support him and give him patience. He signified that he expected to die that night ; but seemed to fear a longer delay : and the disposition of his mind with regard to death, appeared still the same that it had been all 342 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. along. And notwithstanding his bodily agonies, yet the in- interest of Zion lay still with great weight on his mind ; as appeared by some considerable discourse he had that evening with the Rev. Mr. Billirg, one of the neighboring ministers, who was then present, concerning the great im- portance of the work of the ministry. Afterwards, when it was very late in the night, he had much very proper and profit- able discourse with his brother John, concerning his congre- gation in New-Jersey, and the interest of religion among the Indians. In the latter part of the night, his bodily distress seemed to rise to a greater height than ever ; and he said to those then about him, " that it was another thing to die than people imagined ; " explaining himself to mean that they v/ere not aware what bodily pain and anguish is under- gone before death. Towards day, his eyes fixed ; and he con- tinued lying immovable, till about six o'clock, on Friday, Oct. 9, 1747, when his soul, as we may well conclude, was received by his dear Lord and Master, as an eminently faithful servant, into that state of perfection of holiness, and fruition of God for which he had so often and so ardently longed ; and was welcomed by the glorious assembly in the upper world, as one peculiarly fitted to join them in their blessed employ and enjoyment. [The funeral, which occurred on the Monday following, bore affecting testimony to the respect and esteem in which this eminent young servant of God was held in Northampton, and in all the regions round about. It was attended by " eight of the neighboring ministers," (a larger show than a hundred would be now) ; " a large number of gentlemen of liberal ed- ucation, and a great concourse of people." What a scene for the pencil of the artist ! What an occa- sion for the eloquence of the orator I What a text for the preacher ! On that bier lay the wasted remains of one not yet thirty years old — as the world counts time — and yet a " leader of the people." And what a noble race had he accom- MEMOIRS OF BRATNERD. 343 ,, yet the in- is mind ; as le had that neighboring he great im- rards, when it per and profit- g his congre- )n among the )odily distress id he said to thing to die to mean that iiish is under- d ; and he con- )n Friday, Oct. J, was received aithful servant, ruition of God iged ; and was pper world, as ed employ and day following, teem in which Northampton, ided by " eight han a hundred n of liberal ed- plishcd \ What eminent attainments had he made in the divine life ! What a lofty spirit of Christian heroism had he exemplified ! What a sublime example of selt sacrifice and consecration to Christ had he set before the world ! The work done by him in the heart of the American wilderness, and the diary written by him in the woods, among savages, had touched the hearts and inspired the souls of tens of thousands of God's children in Scotland, and in England, as well as in our own colonies. Here were the mortal remains, awaiting burial, of a life offered up in living sacrifice for the glory of God and the salvation of some of the lowest of his creatures. In all the land there was no more fitting preacher for so solemn and affecting an occasion than Jonathan Ed- wards, at whose house the worn-out missionary had died, and who regarded him with the affection of a father, and the ven- eration due to extraordinary moral worth and sanctity, and at whose obsequies his own dear child was " chief mourner." The title of the sermon was : " Christians, when absent from the body aib present with the Lord," based on 2 Cor. v. 8. "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord." The ser- mon, in breadth, and power and manner of treatment, was worthy of the fame of New England's greatest divine, and of the occasion which called it forth. As a fitting close to these memoirs, we give the conclud- ing portion of the sermon, in which one every way competent, gives an outline of Brainerd's life and character. — J. M. S.] I What an occa- t a text for the of one not yet yet a " leader ad he accom- 344 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, CHAPTER XIV. President Edwards' personal estimate of BrainerA FROM A SERMON PREACHED AT HIS FUNERAL, OCT. 12, 1747. " In him whose death we are now called to consider and improve, we have not only an instance of mortality, but, as we have all imaginable reason to conclude, an instance of one, who, being absent from the body, is present with the Lord. Of this we shall be convinced, whether we consider the nature of his experience at the time whence he dates his conversion, or the nature and course of his inward exercises from that time forward ; or his outward conversation and practice in life ; or his fran" and behavior during the whole of that long space whereir 'ooked death in the face. " His convictions of sin, preceding his first consolations in Christ, as appears by a written account which he has left of his inward exercises and experiences, were exceedingly deep and thorough. His trouble and sorrow, arising from a sense of guilt and misery, were very great and long continued, but yet sound and rational ; consisting in no unsteady, violent, and unaccountable frights and perturbations of mind, but arising from the most serious consideration, and a clear il- lumination of the conscience to discern and consider the true state of things. The light let into his mind at conversion, and the influences and exercises to which his mind was sub- ject at that lime, appear very agreeable to reason and the gospel of Jesus Christ. The change was very great and re- markable ; yet without any appearance of strong impressions on the imagination, of sudden flights of the affections, or of vehement emotions of the animal nature. It was attended with just views of the supreme glory of the divine Being, con- MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 345 OCT. 12, 1747* ) consider and rtality, but, as an instance of ;sent with the ir we consider e he dates his Arard exercises iversation and ring the whole the face, st consolations ch he has left e exceedingly arising from a png continued, iteady, violent, of mind, but ,nd a clear ii- insider the true ,t conversion, Imind was sub- ason and the great and re- impressions ections, or of was attended ne Being, con- sisting in the infinite dignity and beauty of the perfections of his nature, and of the transcendent excellency of the way of salvation by Christ. This was about eight years ago, when he was twenty-one years of age. " Thus God sanctified and made meet for his use that vessel, which he intended to make eminently a vessel of honor in his house, and which he had made of large capacity, having endowed him with very uncommon abilities and gifts of nature. He was a singular instance of a ready invention, natural eloquence, easy flowing expression, sprightly apprehen- sion, quick discernment, and very strong memory; and yet of a very penetrating genius, close and clear thought, and pierc- ing judgment. He had an exact taste ; his understanding was, if I may so express it, of a quick, strong, and distinguish- ing scent. " His learning was very considerable. He had a great taste for le ning, and applied himself to his studies in so close a manner when he was at college, that he much injured his health, and was obliged, on that account, for a while, to leave college, throw by his studies, and return home. He was esteemed one who excelled in learning in that society. " He had extraordinary knowledge of men, as well as of things, and an uncommon insight into human nature. He excelled most wh m I ever knew in the power of communi- cating his thoughts, and had a peculiar talent at accommodat- ing himself to the capacities, tempers, and circumstances of those whom he would instruct or counsel. " He had extraordinary gifts for the pulpit. I never had an opportunity to hear him preach ; but have often heard him pray. I think that his manner of addressing himself to God, and expressing himself before him in that duty, almost inimitable, such as I have very rarely known equaled. He expressed himself with such exact propriety and pertinency, in such significant, weighty, pungent expressions, with such an appearance of sincerity, reverence, and solemnity, and so 346 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, great a distance from all affectations, as forgetting the pres- ence of men, and as being in the immediate presence of a great and holy God, as I have scarcely ever known paralleled. His manner of preaching, by what I have often heard of it from good judges, was no less excellent, being clear and in- structive, natural, nervovs and moving, and very searching and convincing. He nauseated an affected noisiness, and violent bolsterousness in thp' pulpit, and yet much disrelished a flat cold delivery when the subject required affection and earnest- ness. " Not only had he excellent talents for the study and the pulpit, but also for conversation. He was of a social dispo- sition ; was remarkably free, entertaining, and profitable in his ordinary discourse, and discovered uncommon ability in disputing, in defending truth, and confuting error. " He excelled in his knowledge of theology, and was truly, for one of his standing, an extraordinary divine, and above all in matters relating to experimental religion. In this, I know that I have the concurring opinion of some who are generally regarded as persons of the best judgment. Accord- ing to what ability I have to judge of things of this nature, and according to my opportunities, which of late have been very great, I never knew his equal of his age and standing, for clear accurate notions of the nature and essence of true religion, and its distinctness from its various false appearances. This I suppose to be owing to the strength of his understand- ing ; to the great opportunities which he had of observing others, both whites and Indians, and to his own great experi- ence. " His experiences of the holy influences of God's Spirit, were not only great at his first conversion, but they were so, in a continued course, from that time forward. This appears from a diary which he kept of his daily inward exercises, from the time of his conversion until he was disabled by the failing of his strength, a few days before his death. The change, which he looked upon as his conversion, was not MEMOIRS OF BKAINERD. 347 :ing the pres- presence of a iwn paralleled, n heard of it J clear and in- r searching and ss, and violent srelished a flat )n and earnest- study and the a social dispo- 1 profitable in nmon ability in ^rror. r, and was truly, rine, and above ion. In this, I some who are ment. Accord- of this nature, [late have been and standing, ssence of true se appearances, his understand- .d of observing n great experi- Lf God's Spirit, It they were so, This appears /ard exercises, lisabled by the death. The irsion, was not only a great change of the present views, affections, and frame of his mind, but was evidently the beginning of that work of God in his heart, which God carried on, in a wonder- ful manner, from that time to his dying day. He abhorred the course pursued by those who live on their first evidences of piety, as though they had now finished their work, and thenceforward gradually settle into a cold, lifeless, negligent, worldly frame. " His experiences were very different from many things which have lately been regarded by multitudes as the very height of Christian experience. When that false religion, which arises chiefly from impressions on the imagination, began first to gain a very great prevalence in the land, he was for a little while deceived with it, so as to think highly of it. Though he knew that he never had such experiences as others told of, yet he thought it was because their attainments were superior to his; and so coveted them, and sought after them, but could never obtain them. He told me that he never had what is called an impulse, or a strong impression on his im- agination, in things of religion, in his life ; yet owned, that during the short time in which he thought well of these things, he was tinged with that spirit of false zeal which was wont to attend them ; but added, that even at this time he was not in his element, but as a fish out of water. When after a little while, he came clearly to see the vanity and pernicious- nessof such things, it cost him abundance of sorrow and distress of mind, and to my knowledge he afterwards freely and openly confessed the errors in conduct into which he had run, and humbled hii.;self before lliose whom he had of- fended. Since his conviction of his error in those respects, he has ever had a peculiar abhorrence of that kind of bitter ;ieal, and those delusive experiences which have been the principal source of it. He detested enthusiasm in all its forms and operations, and condemned whatever in opinion or ex- perience seemed to verge towards Antinoniianism. He re- garded with abhorrence the experiences of those whose 348 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. first faith consists in believing that Christ died for them in particular ; whose first love consists in loving God, because they suppose themselves the objects of his love, and whose assurance of their good estate arises from some immediate testimony, or suggestion, either with or without texts of Scripture, that their sins are forgiven, and that God loves them ; as well as the joys of those who rejoice more in their own supposed distinction above others, in honor, privileges, and high experiences, than in God's excellence and Christ's beauty, and the spiritual pride of those laymen who set them- selves up as public teachers, and decry human learning, and a learned ministry. He greatly nauseated everything like noise and ostentation in religion, and the disposition which many possess to publish and proclaim their own experiences ; though he did not condemn, but approved of Christians speak- ing of their experiences, on some occasions, and to some persons, with modesty, discretion and reserve. He abomi- nated the spirit and practice of the generality of the Separa- tists in this land. I heard him say, once and again, that he had had much intercourse with this class of people, and was acquainted with many of them in various parts of the coun- try ; and that by this acquaintance he knew that what was chiefly and most generally in repute among them, as the power of godliness, was entirely a different thing from that vital piety recommended in the Scriptures, and had nothing in it of that nature. He never was more full in condemning those things than in his last illness, and after he ceased to have any expectations of life, particularly when he had the greatest and nearest views of approaching eternity, and several times when he thought himself actually dying, and expected in a few minutes to be in the eternal world, as he himself told me. " As his inward experiences appear to have been of the right kind, and were very remarkable as to their degrees, so were his outward behavior and practice agreeable. In his whole course, he acted as one who had indeed sold all for MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 349 d for them in God, because kre, and whose ne immediate hout texts of at God loves more in their lor, privileges, :e and Christ's who set them- . learning, and verything like position which n experiences ; iristians speak- , and to some 2. He abomi- of the Separa- again, that he [cople, and was s of the coun- that what was them, as the ing from that had nothing n condemning he ceased to n he had the eternity, and lly dying, and rnal world, as le been of the iir degrees, so ;able. In his sold all for Christ, had entirely devoted himself to God, had made his glory his highest end, and was fully determined to spend his whole time and strength in his service. He was animated in religion in the right way ; animated not merely nor chiefly with his tongue in professing and talking, but animated in the work and business of religion. He was not one of those who contrive to shun the cross and get to heaven in the in- dulgence of ease and sloth. His life of labor and self- denial, the sacrifices which he made, and the readiness and constancy with which he spent his strength and substance to promote the glory of his Redeemer, ai " probably without a parallel in this age in these parts of the wovld. Much of this may be perceived by any one who reads his printed journal ; but much more has been learned by long and intimate ac- quaintance with him, and by looking into his diary since his death, which he purposely concealed in what he published. " As his desires and labors for the advancement of Christ's kingdom were great, so was his success. God was pleased to make him the instrument of bringing to pass the most remarkable alteratioi among the poor savages, in en- lightening, awakening reforming and changing their disposi- tion and manners, ar onderfully transforming ther", of which perhaps any instance can be produced in these itter ages of the world. An account of thib has been guen the public in his journal, drawn up by order of the Honorable Society in Scotland, which employed him. This I wouh n ' on nend to the perusal of all who take pleasure In the wonderful works of God's grace, and who wish to read that which will peculiarly tend both to entertain and profit a Christian mind. " Not less extraordinary were his constant calmness, peace, assurance and joy in God, during the long time he looked death in the face without the least hope of recovery, continuing without interruption to the last ; while his distem- per very sensibly preyed upon his vitals, from day to day, 35° MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. % and often brought him to that state in which he looked upon himself and was thought by others to be dying. The thoughts of approaching death never seemed in the least to damp him, but rather to encourage him and exhilarate his mind. The nearer death approached, the more desirous he seemed to be to die. He said, not long before his death, that ' the con- sideration of the day of death and the day of judgment, had a long time been peculiarly sweet to him.' At another time he observed, that ' he could not but think of the propriety there was in throwing such a rotten carcase as his into the grave ; it seemed to him to be the right way of disposing of it.* He often used the epithet ' glorious,' when speaking of the day of his death, calling it ' that glorious day.' On Sabbath morning, Sept. 27, feeling an unusually violent appetite for food, and looking on it as a sign of approaching death, he said, * he should look on it as a favor if this might be his dying day, and that he longed for the time.' He had before expressed himself desirous of seeing Ws brother again, whose return had been expected from New-Jersey ; but then, speak- ing of him, he said, ' I am willing to go, and never see him again ; I care not what I part with, to be for ever with the Lord.* Being asked that morning how he did, he answered, * I am almost in eternity ; God knows I long to be there. My work is done ; I have done with all my friends ; all the world is nothing to me.* On the evening of the next day, when he thought himself dying, and was apprehended to be so by others, and he could utter himself only by broken whispers, he often repeated the word * eternity,' and said, 'I shall soon be with the holy angels.' * Jesus will come, he will not tarry.* He told me one night as he went to bed, that * he expected to die that night,' and added, * I am not at all, afraid, I am willing to go this night, if it be the will of God. Death is what I long for.' He sometimes expressed himself as having nothing 'o do but to die ; and being willing to go that minute, if it was the will of God. He sometimes used that expression, ' Cy why is his chariot so long in coming? ' MEMOTRS OF BRAINERD. 35 « looked upon The thoughts to damp him, i mind. The seemed to be bat ' the con- udgment, had another time the propriety s his into the isposingof it.' saking of the On Sabbath t appetite for ling death, he might be his tie had before ir again, whose ut then, speak- never see him ever with the he answered, g to be there, iends ; all the the next day, lended to be y by broken ' and said, * I will come, he nt to bed, that am not at all, will of God. essed himself willing to go )metimes used n coming ? ' " He seemed to have remarkable exercises of resignation to the will of God. He once told me that he had longed for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit of God, and the glorious times of the Church, and hoped they were coming ; and should have been willing to have lived to promote religion at that time, if that had been the will of God. ' But,' said he, * I arr willing it should be as it is ; I would not have the choice to make for myself for ten thousand worlds.' " He several times spoke of the different kinds of willing- ness to die, and mentioned it as an ignoble, mean kind of willingness to die, to be willing only to get rid of pain^ or to go to heaven only to get honor and advancement there. His own longings for death seemed to be quite of a different kind, and for nobler ends. When he was first taken with one of the last and most fatal symptoms in consumption, he said, ' O, now the glorious time is coming ! I have longed to serve God perfectly ; and God will gratify these desires.' At one time and another, in the latter part of his illness, he uttered these expressions : ' My heaven is to please God, to glorify him, to give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his glory ; that is the heaven I long for ; that is my reli- gion ; that is my happiness, and always was ever since I sup- posed I had any true religion. All those who are of that religion, shall mee' me in heaven. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to give honor to God. It is no matter where I snail be stationed in heaven, whether I have a high or low seat there, but I go to love, and please, and glorify God. If 1 had a thousand souls, if they were worth anything, I would give them all to God ; but I have nothing to give when all is done. It is impossible for any rational creature to be happy without acting all for God ; God himself could not make me happy in any other way. I long to be in heaven, praising and glorifying God with the holy angels; all my desire is to glorify God. * * * My heart goes out to the burying-place, it seems to me a desirable place ; but O, to glorify God ! that is it ! that is above all ! ' * It is a great 352 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. comfort to me to think that I have done a little for God in the world ; it is but a very small matter ; yet I have done a little, and I lament it that I have not done more for him.' ' There is nothing in the world worth living for, but doing good and finishing God's work ; doing the work that Christ did. I see nothing else in the world that can yield any satis- faction beside living to God, pleasing him, and doing his whole will. My greatest joy and comfort has been to do some- thing for promoting the interest of religion and the souls of particular persons." " After he came to be in so low a state that he ceased to have the least expectation of recovery, his mind was peculiarly carried forth with earnest concern for the prosperity of the Church of God on earth. This seemed very manifestly to arise from a pure disinterested love to Christ, and a desire of his glory. The prosperity of Zion was a theme on which he dwelt much, and of which he spake much, and more and more the nearer death approached. He told me when near his end, that * never, in all his life, had his mind been so led forth in desires and earnest prayers for the flourishing of Christ's kingdom on the earth, as since he was brought so ex- ceedingly low at Boston.' He seemed much to wonder that there appeared no more of a disposition in ministers and people, to pray for the flourishing of religion through the world. Particularly he several times expressed his wonder that there appeared no more forwardness to comply with the proposal lately made from Scotland, for united extraordinary prayer among God's people, and for the coming of Christ's kingdom, and sent it as his dying advice to his own congrega- tion, that they should practise agreeably to that propo- sal. " But a little before his death, he said to me, as I came into the room, 'My thoughts have been on the old dear theme, the prosperity of God's Church on earth. As T waked out of sleep, I was led to cry for the pouring out of God's Spirit, and the advancement of Christ's kingdom, for which MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD. 353 le for God in [ have done a lore for him.' for, but doing rk that Christ 'ield any satis- and doing his een to do some- id tlie souls of t he ceased to [was peculiarly prosperity of rery manifestly St, and a desire leme on which , and more and me when near tid been so led flourishing of brought so ex- o wonder that ministers and n through the ied his wonder omply with the extraordinary ng of Christ's own congrega- that propo- me, as I came the old dear As I waked [ out of God's dom, for svhich the dear Redeemer died and suffered so much. It is that especially which makes me long for it.* " But a few days before his death, he desired us to sing a psalm which related to the prosperity of Zion, which he signified engaged his thoughts and desires above all things. At his desire we sung part of the io2d Psalm. When we had done, though he was so low that he could scarcely speak, he so exerted himself that he made a prayer very audibly, in which, beside praying for those present, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flour- ishing of religion in the world. " His own congregation especially lay much on his heart. He often spoke of them ; and commonly when he did so, it was with peculiar tenderness, so that his speech was inter- rupted and drowned with weeping. " Thus I have endeavored to represent something of the character and behavior of that excellent servant of Christ, whose funeral is now to be attended. Though I have done it very imperfectly, yet I have endeavored to do it faithfully, and as in the presence and fear of God without flattery, which surely is to be abhorred in ministers of the gospel, when speaking * as messengers of the Lord of hosts.' " Such reason have we to be satisfied that the person of whom 1 have been speaking, now he is * absent from the body,' is * present with the Lord ;' not only so, but also with him now wears a crown of glory of distinguished bright- ness. " Oh that the things which were seen and heard in this ex- traordinary person ; his holiness, heavenliness, labor and se)f-denial in life; his so remarkably devoting himself and his all, in heart and practice, to the glory of God ; and the wonderful frame of mind manifested, in so steadfast a manner, under the expectation of death, and under the pains and agonies which brought it on ; may excite in us all, both min- isters and people, a due sense of the greatness of the work 354 MEMOIRS OF BRAINERD, which we have to do in the world, of the excellency and ami- ableness of Jiorough religion in experience and practice, of the blessedness of the end of those whose death finishes such a life, and of the infinite value of their eternal reward, when • absent from the body and present with the Lord ; ' and effectually stir us up to constant and effectual endeavors that, in the way of such a holy life, we may at last come to so blessed an end Amen." lency and ami- nd practice, of h finishes such reward, when e Lord ; ' and ual endeavors last come to wj