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Les diagrammes suivants illustrent le mAthode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 ORPHEUS AND EU R Y D I C E A CLASSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA. BY SAM SCRIBBLE Author o/-Tioi.or^VKTio» « Not Dead Yet." " King of the Beavers," &c.. &c, &c M O N* T R E A L Printed by M. Loncmoorb & Co., PkiMTWc House, 67 Great St. Jambs Strbbt 1866 ORPHEUS AND BCTRYDICE. CHARACTERS. Pluto, King of Orcus, Erebus, Styx, and their dependencies. Apollo, a walking gentleman from Olympus. Orpheus, the Wandering Minstrel of the Period. Charon, a boatman, never out of work. Proserpine, a Queen of a certain age, and uncertain temper. EuRYDlOE, a young Lady torn from her husband, and taken from Lempriere. Lachesis I ^H *^^^ ^f^^7~^}^y^^^f^ ^**^^ sisters, or Spinning Atropos, ) Jennies, of Classical Literature, Shepherds, Shepherdesses, Ghosts, &c., &c. The SOENE lies here and there. Scene I. — The Plains of Thessaly. Scene II. — In the Bowels of the Earth. Scene III. — In the Infernal Regions. / ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE. SCENE I. A Pastoral Landscape. The Plains of Thessaly. [Shepherds u>nd Shepherdesses discovered.'] Chorus of Shsj>herds. — Am — " So Early in the Morning." Our ThessaJy is a sunny dime, ' Where we work all day m the summer time ; . But all our work is, at rest to lie, , . , Under the shade, till the day slips by. So early in the morning. So early in the morning, , -j So early in the morning. We, band of Shepherds gay ! [Orpheus is ^rdl crying, "Eurydice I Eurydice /" R. U. E. answered by Echo. Shepherds listeningli 1st Shepherd, r.o. Away ! here's Orpheus ! that unhappy swain, Who's always calling for his wife in vain. 1st Shepherdess. The poor young man ! But why make such a bother? It's not impossible to get another ! nd Shepherd, There's no one worthy to replace his treasure. 2nd Shepherdess. For my part, I'd be Number two with pleasure ! st Shepherd. At mortal female he disdains to look. Ist Shepherdess. I'll try to catch him, though, by hook or crook ! [Orpheus rushes on mlcUy from R. u. e. Shepherds retire.'] Orpheus. Eurydice 1 she's deaf I — and I've no choice But to persist in ruining my voice. By day or night, one song I never cease. Poor Echo never gets a moment's peace. w Eurydioe I But, ! in vain 1 bawl I She still refuses to return my call ! Yet one small comfort to myself I claim, From crying nothing but that one sweet name, Though such monotony may be a bore, At any rate, I'ri sure of an mayre ! u [^Enter Apollo, l. 2. e. with ajiddle. He remains at hack listening,"] Aia — Nursery Rhyme — '' Little Bo-peep." Obpheus. Sorrow so deep, • ' Won't let me sleep. I don't know where to find her ! If I let her alone. She'll never come home. Apollo, l. [suddenly] Wha'i a fool you are to mind her 1 Obpheus. And who are you ? Apollo. A friend !— so stop your sighs. Apollo ! dropped this moment from the skies. Orpheus. Give me Euydice. Apollo. You're too absurd I Your idiotcy, I think, is more the word. Orpheus. Unfeeling Phoobus, you my hopes destroy. Apollo. You've only lost your wife, I wish you joy. [Shakes hands.] Orpheus. No ! P^^nebus 1 not so lightly can you sever. My heart from other days, gone by for ever ! [A la Othello.] Adieu, ye hats, the latest fashion made for, Ye wondrous bonnets, — that I hav'nt paid for I . ' Adieu, the waterfall, on that sweet head . That dyed for love,^ its jet black hair to red ! Goodbye, " Sans-flectum Crinolines !" and farewell. Ye " Special Novelties," — that did'nt wear well ! Cosmetics ! hlanc de perle / and ev'ry mess That makes the pom^ and circumstance of dress ! Duet — Air — " Yankee Doodle." i Apollo. Oh, you Noodle, oease to groan — ^'' ' Quite a trifle, this is — ''- You to Pluto must go down, If you want your mi«ni, Oh, you Noodle, not a word, ' More with you I'll bandy, [offering fidcUe.^ ' » > Take this, for I know, you will Find the fiddle handy ! Orpheus. Thankye ! Noodle's not the name, I expect from you, Sir I , Apollo. You only have yourself to blame, Your Masii if you lose. Sir ! . Orpheus. Thankye I Noodle's not my name, — I don't understand ye ! ** Tell me, how I ever can, Find the fiddle handy. (Together.) Apollo, ( Oh, you Noodle, not a word. Okpheus, ( Thankye ! Noodle's not my name. Apollo, ( More with you, I'll bandy. ' > Orpheus, \ I don't understand ye I Apollo, ( Take this, for I know you will, Orpheus, ( Tell me how I ever can, Apollo, ( Find the fiddle handy ! Orpheus, ( Find the fiddle handy ! ^ [^Dance.'] Apollo. Armed with this fiddle you can make your way To Hades, and without a cent to pay — You'll just catch Charon's ferry-boat, or you Can paddle, if you like, your own canoe — Demand your wife— for when you sing, I know, Pluto will cry " Move on", — and then, you go — Orpheus. But where's the road ? [Apollo stamps on grownd. Trap opem."] Apollo. The road ? down there, old chap ! / Orpheus [iln'cie.] It strikeN me this lookp rather li)u a trap. Apollo. With music you so long have charmed us here, Try this new opening in another sphere. Orpheus. That way's beneath me, and my pride is bent On smiling at your " elainu of long descent?^ Apollo. Think of your wife i Orpheus. If I'm to find who stole My better hal/^ye me a better hole I Apollo. There, down you go — no danger — not a bit I [Orpheus get» 14 '■' Proserpine. \A»ide^ and very vindictivdy.^ As she stepped into the parlor, here, I spied her, and 1*11 try To be even with the pair of them, for such audacity ! I never let a chance escape— I find the mice at play, And luckily, this time the cat is not too far away. I could kill you, kill you, as you've walked in on the sly. I could kill you, kill you, as you've walked in on the sly. EuRYDiCE. I stepped into your parlor, Mr. Pluto, on the sly, You'll forgive me this intrusion, as I'm going by and by ; My Orpheus (as he telegraphs) is coming down to me, :. To take his darling back with him, his lost Eurydic6. Will you, will you, will you, Mr. Pluto, let me fly. Will you, will you, will you, Mr. Pluto, let me fly. [Pluto and Eurydioe come forward — Proserpine still watching af L. u. E. Pluto. Orpheus be hanged ! from such a singing life He must have learned to whistle for his wife. You must'nt go, — for when we're more acquainted, You'll find Fm not so black as I am painted ! * Enchanting mortal I EuBYDiOE. You my patience tax, i I've not the slightest sympathy with blacks ! Belease me. Sir ! — ^your manners, free and easy, Are most improper — ^What would Mrs. P. say ? [Proserpine gets tongs from fireplace, and gets hack to R. u. E. threatening, '\ Proserpine. [-<4«td!c.] He's making love before my face I Such wrongs Can even justify the use of tongs ! Pluto. In vain you struggle — ^you will quickly learn, That here, we give no tickets /or return I Here you must stop, though you it's not much fun for ; A lodger here, when taken in, is done for ! Eurydioe. Unhappy me ! Pluto. So vain are all your tricks, Siiiver my timherSf if you cut the Styx I ' ! 15 J [Proserpine, runs forward r. sharply, holding the tongs behind her."] I'Pros. Indeed ! [Pluto. f-4«i "When he fiddles to the timber? The Poplars go on fantastic toe Most nimbly to his rhyming — And, up from the valleys, with a hop, step and jump, Come little copses climbing ! Doodle dum, doodle de, Di dum, doodle da. This maitre de danse makes the yew tree prance, And the maple is mad with pleasure, And the fir-trees thick, give a comical kick. And stir their stumps to the measure ! The elms rejoice in his sweet low voice, When he strikes up his forlorn pipes ; And the gouty old oak quite enjoys the joke. And flounders into hornpipes I Doodle dum, &c., &c. I Pluto. I'll not believe it. Stop your silly jokes — - The elms go dancing? Is not that a Hoaxf I'll not believe it, for whoever saw "Z,i/e in the Bush'^ so realised before? But trees may valse, and all their branches Jig, Eurydice at least don't hoj) the twig/ ■ I Eurydice. My husband's voice has charmed the brutes, 'tis true, P'raps that might give him some slight chance with you. Music hath charms — Pluto. Of [dancing.] Atropos, 3 We jump still higher, and we perspire— I is'nt this a cure 1 Chorus. — A cure ! a cure ! yes ! acure ! ! is'nt this a cure! With our hoppity, kickity, high and low, 0! is'nt this a cure ! [ The three Fates dance out L, Charon and Proserpine r . Orpheus appears at 0. door with his fiddle.] \ Orpheus, c. Good morning— pray don't stop for me young ladies ; My name is Orpheus,— just arrived in Hades, From both th' Italian Operas, — the great Composer, Singer, Poet Laureate, The first musician of the age, — and so I my own trwmpety pretty loudly blow I I want my wife I Pluto, r. [crossing to l.] That Lady stops with me— Now of your wife, my boy, you're rid, d^ye see ? EURYPICE. [Crossing to Orpheus.] Save me, dear Orpheus • >v 20 lf> I ii!l Orpheus. Well, I cannot bonr, After my journey, thus to lose my fair t I'll charm him — EuRYDiCE. There's a dear! Orpheus. You should bo told, I'm suffering from the regulation cold — EuRYDioi. Of course, dear, — -.. Orpheus. And that I for<»ot to bring . My music, as I didn't mean to sing — And that I'm nervous, — EuRYDiOE. Yes; but we'll dispense J Wiih such formalitie!'. Orpheus. Then I'll commence. [Pluto and Eurydice «iV at table.'] GRAND MEDLEY— Orpheus. " Ye Babes in ye Wood." ■ ' ' ' ■ . t i, 'i Recitative. ' • In the early time of history. When ev'ry thing is a mystery That one can't make long or short of: — When the Joneses, Browns, and Jacksons, Were simply Anglo Saxons, And the family of Smith was nothing but a myth. And the Robinsons not bom or thought of, — There happened this Tragedye, which be it understood, I'm going to tell you, of the Babes in the Wood ! \ Air — "Oiiii English Gentleman." There lived a fine old gentleman who, free from wedded strife, Had lived for years in happiness with a fine old-fashioned wife, — And this fine old wife presented him (before the tale begins) , In a fine old-fashioned manner with a bouncing pair of Twins ! Like a fine old-fashioned matron, one of the olden time. But when these twins were little, and their hair began to curl (One was a boy, the story says, the other was a gurl), Their parents both fell sick at once, — the Twins were doomed to grief, — ,1 Painkillers failed to euro them, and no Radway brouj:,ht relief, To this fine old-fashioned couple who had nearly Hcrved their [time ! Air — "Lord Lovell." The Uncle, he came, for he grieved at the state His poor dear relations were in ! He came, as he wished, to bo " in at the death," As his poor, dear relationH, had tin, tin, tin, • As his poor, dear relations, had tin ! The Uncle, he stood by the four-poat bed : — , The girl, she shed tears with her brother ; And the dying old gentleman, lay on one side. And his dying old wife on the other, other, other, And his dying old wife, on the other ! {^Spoken.'] And this is what the dying old gentleman, said, Air. — " Oder Side of Jordan." I've put down in my will. An annuity for Bill : So you must treat him accordin ; And you'll kindly not disdain, To look after Mary Jane, When I'm gone to the oder side of Jordan So your energies devote, To the kids on whom I dote ! Jordan is hard a road to travel ! Don't be laughing in your sleeve, Now I take this sudden leave. Jordan is a hard road to travel, I believe Air. — "Bobbing Around." To this the Uncle did agree. Bobbing around, around, around ; Then she kissed him and him kissed she, And they all went bobbing around. \ \ 22 lf!l I I Air.—" Kitty Clover.*' Now the Undo, of tears, mode a pretty good show, Blubbering, oh ! oh ! oh ! oh ! He buried the parents, and thought he would go, And pocket the ohiidren's rhin-o / So his time, this bad man, without ceasing, devoter, To find out two ruffians, for two fi'-pun notes, Who would out his poor Nephew's and Niece's small throats. Bow, wow, wow, wow I oh, oh, oh, oh ! In order to sow a new crop of wild oats, A sooundral he was ! That'« so I Air. — "Cork Leg." ^ Two ruffians he found, who both ogroed, To scuttle the children, and dp the deed — In business-'like manner, — that is, if he'd Come down with the ready, and stand them a feed. Ri-tooral-too, &o., Ac, &c. Air.—" HiiOHLAND Laddie." With the children they did start, Injured babbies, injured babbies ! To the woods in Uncle's cart, Injured babbies, injured babbies ! The ruffians tried the twins to fool. Injured babbies, injured babbies ! And said, " you're on your way to school," Injured babbies, injured babbies I Air. — *• Low-backed Car." One ruffian was soft-hearted, And to his mate did say, " 'Tis an ugly job, this butchering, Bob, And not quite in my way !" \ But the other, he answered, bold as brass, " You chicken-hearted churl, Never mind the boy's howls, but just rip up his bowels ! Whilst I do the likes by the giri." ) his bowels ! 23 ^ . For ho was auoh a low blacJcguard, From his purpose, heM not be debarred, — For better, for worse, he cared not a curse, For he was such a low blackguard I [Spoken."] So they fought, [detcriptive chord."] Please to observe the terrific combat in the Orchestra, the low blackguard is killed accordingly, and the soft-hearted ruffian continues, aH follows : Air. — "Lucy Long.'* My little ducks, you^ll please to stay, About here to be handy, ' I'll just run on a little way. To buy my pets some candy. A little time, ray darlings,don't think Pm doing wrong. A little time, my darling,and you'll see I'll not be long. Air. — " Lord Lovell." , Now he had'nt been gone but an hour away, As he said, to the town that was near oh, When it grew very dark, and it blew like the deuce: And the glass it went down below zero, ero, ero, And the glass it went down below zero ! Now Miss Mary, she cried, and she made a to-do, A-thinking how sad was their muddle ; And the little Billee, he blubbered a few, Till he stood to his knees in the puddle, uddle, uddle, Till he stood to his knees in the puddle ! Then they flung themselves down at the roots of the trees, (This story is tragic if true,) And they died ! for this reason, remember it, please. They'd got nothing better to do, to do, They'd got nothing better to do. Air.—" Billy Taylor." « Wakened by the children's sobbing, (If this story you believes,) Up flew an undertaker Bobin, And hid their corpuses with leaves. Fiddle, iddle, iddle, &o., &o. ^P" ili H iill «,\ 24 Whether the Uncle made oonfessicn, I have never heard them say — You can fill up the rest at your own discretion- - Fiddle, iddle iddle iddle, I fol-lay ! [Pluto loho has been dozing during the story, wakes up, and comes forwird with Eurydice.'] *, EuRTDicE. Bravo ! Encore ! P1.ITT0. The audience think, no doubt, Your " link of sweetness," rather " long drawn out." Be off ! Orpheus. And take my wife ? Pluto. You ask in vain ! Orpheus. Then I must sing my little song again. Pluto. Pray don't distress yourself — I'd rather wait — I'll take your note at three months after date. Orpheus. Be serious, answer! — For we've sworn to go, j i^?Ms-:- CURTAIN, r