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VI TlieR«ral|l SOIL, CLU Anecda THE Bat exprea Ideas ^ **t) n THB WANDERER IN A ME RICA, OR, Ctutt) at (0ome; COMPBIUlf* A STATEMENT OF OBSERVATIONS AND FACTS RBL4TIVB TO TRB UNITED STATES ^ CANA DA, NORTH AMERICA; ^The RCBult of an exteMive Penonal Tour, and from Sonrccf / ' of loformatioo the no«t antbentic | INCLUDINS SOIL, CLIMATE, MANNERS, AND CUSTOMS, OP ITS CIVILIZED INHABITANTS AND INOMN8, Anecdotes f ifc, of Distinguieked Characters : HOST HnPECTrOLLT OBOICATBD TO THE CHILDREN OF JOHN BULL, Bat eiprvMly those who are about to emigrate, or entertain Ideal of Emif^ration to that Quarter of the Globe. By C. a WILSON. '* I will a ronnd nnTamiih*d Tale deliver. " •* ■ nothing ezteonate, ** Or Kt down aught in malice. " SBAKirSARE. NORTHALLERTON : tBnrTBD FOR ni AUTBOB, BT J. LANfiDALB. 1820. Ctbrarg KINGSTON, ONTARIO Sir Lieutpnar PROl tionable acceptani imperfeci^ acquaintt tide, vox and soun benevofei equally t Field, t hapless Wildem and adv to apolo Septei TO MAJOR-GENERAL Sir PEREGRINE MAITLAND, Kt C« B. Lieutpnant>Gnv<>rnor and Coinmander«in.Chipf of Hit Ma* Jesty'i Forces in Upper Canada, North America* May it please your Exeellencyf Prompted by no interested motive, or ques- tionable adulation, permit me. Sir, to intreat your acceptance of the following pages, as a trifling and imperfect testimony of gratitude, which every man, acquainted with the Government over which you pre- side, will cheerfully corroborate. Your inflexible and sound policy as a Ruler, and your unbounded benevolence and commiseration in private life, are equally conspicuous. Whether in the Senate or the Field, wisdom and courage are your'^s ; and the hapless European stranger, or dusky resident of the Wilderness, are joint partakers of your sympathy and advice : all concur as a completion of evidence, to apologize for the obtrusion of, ' Excellent Sir, Your obedient devoted humble Servant, THE AUTHOR. September 1st, 1820. £02408 fi. TO THE READER. !< TaK Render who condtfifends to ]^(>ftii6 the following page$, is rfMspcoruKy reqursted not to anticipate that in such com- pilaiion he will find the classic el"g:ince of a disiinji^uished f dneittion, or the finished ekptnoatton of reined phitosophy ; but be may r^it assured, the title of the Travels* or oArratlnt truth, shal* be the polb-star of buch statements f and thongb Bumerous hiif e been the publications on the came sofeject, jet unawed by precedent, and the Author ao unlettered Ativenfurer, the observations fearl<>88ty contained shall dffy eontrudlrtion. 1 am not meandering towards MoOivt Pah* SAssoi, but hare traverseri C motive will be obtained| and highest ambitioa fully gratified. C. H. WILSON. THE WANDERER IN AMERICA. &c. CHAP. I. Bmigratlon is a wholesome drain on a redlnndant population. Boast. It is a subject of much, and indeed serious re- gret, that English writers, and wouid-be-considered American traveUers, have been found so base, either from mercenary motives, or a decided and deter- mined enmity to their native soil, that thousands of British subjects have become sacrifices on the altar of such cupidity. The most recent Authors of Travels in North America, since the Works of the Duke de la Ronchefoucault, and' Mr. Weld, are Messrs. Hall, Birkbeck, Fearon, Pahner, Bradbury, and Cobbett AS THE WANDERER The writings of Mr. Hall are correct, and often elc^gant, but not connected with advice or opinion relative to emigration. Mr. Birkbeck. — ^The tragic anxiety of this gen- tMaii to decofr to ^$ IlUooiH Imitory every devoted lunatic who on his arrival was found fur- nished with money, and possessing a head unfur- nished with brains, cannot be sufficiently execrated ; and I am bold enough to painfully assert, in melan- choly remembrance of the many broken-hearted sorrows I have witnessed, that I know no criminal in vice^s catalogue who merits suspension more than thii unblui^hlng yea and n9y Adventurer* Mr. Fearon writes like an Englishman, with truth and caution. ^ Mr. Palmer^s obiervatioiis are ohiofljit uere gar- bled extmote from Mr. Bradbury. At; his own •iTOur was extremely iiiiiiited, his information dm- not therefore be of any public utility ; but his pub- lication might have been less- objectionable, faeowtte of less injury to society, if his borrowed ideas bad ]iOB8essed gener^ly an ingredient called veracity. Mr. Cobbett is such a weathercock and miohaste polltleiaa^^oilay loieQUBg at tb« riitiiie of Mo* IN iNJUIICiU 7 nuifllifr,, anA Uhmomw t^ UmU of Rtpubltosiiifii— imt it affiAm doobUiil whether h» immis whai ht wrif«i» or a poeoBkidilaM Ammv upon the pnhU*; httt I tmMfifj in that ofieriof a^ irtlUnir tattle murnj^ Umi l» m^m ODcooraged ofliignlioB m a feoenl «pwi6o» lot tho |iB0iiml|pii4igii«gf his mdII- Wfmtfl on thtlsHbjlNil wMocdiABed to LongldiMt; nad 1 •m ioclhied Uk helievo bi» entity to Mi; BuRkboQk^f «peoioria viUaingir m?«iI ib» Uvtn and property of vaoy indivtdiiik. Iiiooalatfdl with tho manta of tronspoitetioft, and, I oonfefw, infoitaated with the planaible inposition of d«iim|ueiit writois» and having a fiuaily, whioh according to the destructive dootrine of such writings, I had the chance of making for a present and fu tale |tt»vision, ligr the application of ordinary indastryt inelined me to favor the change ; and at tJHs unlaoky period my feelings were anhappily and Kttlbrtunately wounded by the nnmerited and an- .warrantable neglect of those who^ according to the laws of naiare and honanity^ and the aooepted etiquetto of society, I had a right to ebim as friends, not to painfully recognise as enemies, this .regret gave a decision to the contemplated de- parture; but the public, I humbly intreat, will allow roe to aver» that no political motives had any shore, directly or iadUreolty, witb the transfer* Tm WANDBMR Arrived tt Liverpool, a town «t onoe the ntt of eleganee, opulence, oommeroe, refinement, in- dmtiy, and entorpriie, and where 1 had, in happier dayg, begfoiled many a social hour, my first enquiry was a ship destined for New York, and I soon foand accommodations on board the American ship Magnet, burthen 3^0 tons, and a finer sea boat never kissed the Atlantic wave. Having ten days for preparation, all was in readiness for the voyage, and we assembled on board, passengers to the num- ber of sixty-three, men, women, and children, and immediately left our dock birth, and proceeded with a light breeie from the N. E. to sea ; and I soon found knavery in the collection of our mi- grating companions. A boat from the Cheshire side of the River Mersey augmented our number by the addition of a respectable looking man, who it appeared was the parent of half a dozen then on board, some of them grown-up young men, but they were so trans- formed by the trumpery addition of ear-rings and other external appendages of Yankee costume, that every vestige of Cambridgeshire rusticity bad va- nished; and I am afraid, nay am confident, a breach in the moral principles of the father had suggested this harlequinade, to avoid an unpleasant visitation from Messrs, Doe Sf Roe, at the suit of a !'*1 /:!il IN AUniCA» f muoh-i^jored wife, and thai depntBie bom riglM IKftve All anlimited ktitnde ol wrong to ihn fide manneni of thia mmiable AmUHj* We loon cleared the Rook, and aboat 4 p. m. cor pilot left «■; the following morning we dea* oryed the Tnacar ligbt-liouiey and aa the wind veered round to the westward, we bid not adien t6 the last point of £rin*8 domain, Cape Clear, until the third day of our departure from Liverpool; then commenced a specimen of American honor and equity : previons to our sailing, as there Ivas enly one tabin passenger, twelve of Os ooonpied the state or dining room, agreeable to the inlliMnoe •t an aiklilional number of dollars "the grand pifol npoB which alone moves the whole machinery tf Yankee rectitude. The chief mate was then or- dered to stow away these here cablet, according to the erudition of our accomplished captain* In vain did we remonstrate against such an outrage, oar limited space being the appointed receptacle, which nearly closed the avenue of ingress and egrens. The only replication was, ** I am captain.^* '^ Then, Sir,^^ said I, ** yon are bound in that capacity, to say nothing of honor and humanity, for the credit of your ship and advantage to its proprietors, to fulfil the contract between yourself, your employers, and th« paBiongerg.^**— No materiai ciroHmstaace took iO ¥HE WiMD&RXR place or observation ocoorred dariii(^ the passage^ except an unusual number and variety of the in- habitants of the deep, for as the weather was fine, the whale, shark, grampus, dolphin, and innu- merable shoals of less visitors, frequently sur- founded us, and the floating monuments of *' arctic waste,** buoyant and glittering beneath the orb of heaven, had a fine effect. Tbfs? are thy glov'ou* works. Parent of good. Almighty !— Milton. Neptune sometimes in an angry mood, and some- times in a frolicsome one, disturbs the harmony of aquatic travellers. The natal day of a female on board was celebrated by a general tea-parly on deck ; hyson and bohea, Yorkshire cakes, biscuits, pickled tripe, and salt beef, abundantly furnished the sumptuous gala, interspersed with a profusion of chat, and some scandal, usual in such converza- tiones, Mr. Boreas not gallantly or politely re* garding the supreme happiness of ladies thus en- gaged, blew unexpectedly a hurricane ; this sudden derangement created more confusion on May 15, 1819, at 8 p. M. on board the gallant Magnet, than I believe was on board the blazing L^Orient at 10 F. M. on the memorable 1st of August, 1798. Crockery became brokery; to leeward lay ex- tended our sable six-foot cook, and prostrate along- IN AMERICA. U «ide, his sooty mansion called '' a cabonse;*^ pots, kettles and cans, with all the appendages of tea eqaipege, and all the lumber of a tolerable larder, became dispersed in one wild choM, and the sweet tones of gossip were superseded by — Haul in the main sheet^^Down topsails — Reef the foresail^-'Now my brave ship, she rides handsomely through-^ Cheerltfy my hearts, now she rights again — My lim^ hers, what a squall was there ! — Forecastle in and a tremendous sea rolling over, is not exactly capti- vating ; however in ten minutes all was calm, and the violin reassembled the company, dancing com- menced, and all the variety of the capering melange was exhibited from the graceful attitudes of the catabaws to the spread eagle monotony of the minuet de la cceur. The ** light fantastic toe^* became exhausted, and then Apollo struck the lyre, the muses sung in strains alternate — Ad Old Woman clothed in grey, <^ The Chapter on Nosea, Now we are going to Botany Bay, And Love among the Roses. ^ About our doth day at sea, our ruler, who was neither a gentleman nor a seaman, stated we had gone to the southward of the Banks of Newfound- land ; I doubted such, and was corroborated in my opinion by both mates and seamen, not being a 12 THR WiMDBBER novice in the navifation of the Atlantic, ov an im- nedSato etfangwr to some ■antical infioriiMtioB. in eiglliieett honra after we were on those iiilphpitiii Banks, distingoidi^ad by a continoal dense fof or nisty and in ^neral extienielf eold. On the 42d da^ the Headlands of Nova Seotia were aeen fron the muBt head ; the 43d day we made Sandy Hook, and veoeivad a pilot on hoavd, and an$Aojwd thart night on the Qnarantine gronnd, nine anlee from Nov York. The following nonung, afkeir Ike in- diapenaakle exaannalien of a nedical offic«vr had keen satisfied as ngarded Ike kaaMb of ail, wopao- fioede^ with the tide, and anokored at 11 a.w. close In the gmnd ^nipofiun and puide of Colvnd»ia<^ N£9r YoBX. fK AiMERfCA. 13 CHAP. 11. «H«H Now, thnnght I, for this far-'&med land of li- berty^ this region of freedom ^ind virtue, and only llepublio on earth; but soon my feelings were alarmed, and I found correct my friend Dennis Brulgruddery's opinion, that this sane arrogance was only produced by *' rubbing one dirty shilling against another, for we were guarded by tiie» Argus eyes of vnstom^honse officers ; and the first demand of the American Government is a palpable robbery on the purses of all foreigners— a dollar is exacted from each person, from infiincy and we were* told it was for the Hospital support! — Ah! said I, such in England is the voluntary contribation oC the friends of humanity, not levied upon the stranger, often without a dollar to satisfy such injustice; and I will venture to assert, that this indirect mode of nAdntaining, as it is called, a Charitable Institution, is amply remunerated in every department, including calomel, rhubarb, he^. B ill '^ ■ii, 11 I 1 1 14 TBB WANDERER lebore, and goose-grease, by the stated demands on British subjects only, which in twelve months, from January 1819 to January 1820, amounted in Emigrants to the port of New York ak>ne, to 2,700 ! Having obtained a receptacle for my family<— a boarding-house, I became impatient to reconnoitre; and passing the principal street, '* Broadway ,^^ the Bond-street of London in America, I canie to the City Hall, or Court House, and found it sur- rounded by the mobility j and enquiring the cause, I was informed an ill-tated negro woman was going to be executed for an attempt to poison the family of her employer, or boas — the term master being exploded and scouted in the American diction. — *^ Indeed ! what, do they hang people here for less crimes than murder ?*" — " Oh yes, often." — I re- turned home, and alternately ruminated, in a kind of melancholy reverie, on the wretched criminal and Government — comparisons as they concerned John BuU and his younger brother Jonathan. On the stranger^s entering New York, the first impression, is certainly pleasing ; streets generally wide, wearing, by their innumerable stores or shops, the appearance of wealth and industry, and as it is literally an isiahd, the beautiful East and North, or IN AMERICA* 15 Hudson Rivers, are certainly imposing, bearing on their gliding surface sliips and boats of all ton- nage, from the smallest market craft to the boasted invulnerable steam ship of war, the horrible in* vention of P/u^o— an infernal instrument too sa- vage to depict.* Having visited the principal buildings, externally^ Churches, Theatre, and Hall dedicated to Justice, I felt disposed to view the interior. The Theatre is, both in point of beauty and magnitude, far infe* tior to several of our provincial Theatres.— 'The Churches are all modern, and in their structures, or architectural designs, simply elegant ; but the ma* terials, like two-thirds of buildings of every de* scription in America, are wooden — monuments of bad taste and improvident speculation, mere bird* cages, formed of perishable matter. The City Hall is a handsome building, the pride of all well-bred Americans, and I have been gravely told by some of them, the largest upon earth ; such novel in* formation I once received from a professional de- scendant of Hippocrates. *' You have then," I * The timbers of this vessel are so enormons^y thick, that she is pronounced impr<>;cnnble; and any attempt to bonrd her., would be opposed by a terrible aoooyance of boiling water 1 h ' 16 TUE WANDERER repUfid, ^< seen in England Blenheioi, Stow, Bel- voir, Wentwortb,. Woburn, Lowther, Burleigh, Wollaton, Gliateirortb, and Dunbam.*^ — " Oh, no, I bave not trave'led farther than the Jerseys to a Camp Mesetlng/^— '* Then, .Sir, I respectfully wish to correct your mistaken ideas; these mansions, the residences of honor, benevolence, and hospi- tality, are equal in Etise, and St. PanPs in London, or St. Peter^s in Rome, would admit the whole within their walls V In a short time I had an opportunity to witness their forms and manners in this building of juris* prudence, not reared by the sacred hand of Justice. Prejudice, I admit, has its influence over the human passions ; and although a wig may not im- .part wisdom to the wearer, I felt an impression in favor of wiggery. In a Court of Justice in £ng* land it adds a degree of solemnity ; but in America, neither wigs, integrity, nor decorum are requisite : it is certainly true, the Judge is indeed exalted upon a. higher seat, by which alone you can dis- tinguish him from the poor captive, and the cause, civil or peccant, is invariably decided by the influ- ence of — dollars; and will not any European fo- reigner condemn the non-observance of decency ? The segar is in continual requisition, the eternal ■companion of judge, counsellor, jury, and spec- f^ IN iMERICi. 17 tators ; yoa are consequently stnpified with smokey and spit upon as an especial mark of freedom. The Civil Code is so gro«ly imperfect, that it gives birth to endless litifation and onnataial aggrava- tion: hasbends, wives, fathers and children are in daily contention and ridicnloos prosecatioa, such as I am positive no Englidi Magistrate would sanction, but humanely reprehend. Again, in all pecuniary suits, the decision is a merefiirce; the defeated party demands sixty days (the expences and debt probably not sixty shillings) to pay this prodigious amount ; if he remain honest so long, a second respite is obtained, thus prevaricating from time to time : the plaintiff, like the Irish comedian, is a loser by his benefit ' I It is highly honarable to the children of Saint Patrick, in the recollection that a distinguished countryman, exiled by the politics and consequent affliction of the day, is now as a professional man, the Cicero of America — ^the Erskine of England, ^ both as an orator and a lawyer, and with humble deference, in their national chronicle of illustrious characters) enrolled with a Wellington, a Cbarle- mont, an O^Keeflfe, a Swift, a Burke, a Sheridan* I record on its imperishable page the etoqueut advo* eate of meicy^ and the powerful opponent ol Ba I !^ 19 THI WANDBII9R ejpftea^on. and injostioe; moh t^ ehaneter aokiiow* ledged by all, is-^Mr. Emmett. In my |)enimlmlatlon8 I towad a n»w oliject of attraction ; red flags at aeveial doons and *' vendue^* insoiribed thereon-^-a Dnteh tern for anetion. Vrn^ iriUiag to lose the meaning and nature of sttcb traflBo, I entered these abodes of fraud and rohr heryy and painfally witnessed this salie of Britisb goods to a great adtount, for less than half the ^ost to the mano&cturer ; and this system is not niOTel^ kat gteneraL This, then, says I peevishly to m^y- self, aoeoants for the pAbUcation of a majority of names in a eertain feriodical exposition called tk Gazette, We most either, condemn the iaerofaanhi and manufacturers of Manchester, Leeds, Bir^ mingfaam, Sheffield^ and the Potteries, as common Idiots, or as they say in America, of that respect* able class of society, they are wi'^9 awtitke, and ^d even a bankrupt market in Americ:*conveBi^t to stipply a little ItDmediate cash; hut it & my humble opinion^ though ^norant of the seciets fd counting houses on either side of the Atlantic, th6i Briti^ merchant finds out his mistake, like the deluded emigrant, when the thunder of dfeay* pointineiit and ruin rattle in his ears. The Police of New Yoik Is a strange mixture of fV CJ^ iij IN AMBRtCih M iaoonsistonsies. — ^The streets are miserably dirty, as to them is consigned the fiith of most houses, and suffered to remain in all seasons, July and Aogust excepted ; and yon are continnally annoyed by innumerable faongiy pigs of all sizes and com* plexions, great and small beasts prowling in grunt* ing ferocity, and in themselves so great a nuisance, that would arouse the indignation of any but Americans. Often has the ravenous sow, impelled by hxAsgm, aeiaied Ae iilfalit in tbd sti^scii of Cdhiilri>ia^s provd city, viaA wMA \mi for pieiiw 4i » . THB WiNDERIll .. u%^ i. • i .,i. , inn .\;>K CHAP. III. Al >', .••in.'r.v' >','K"'A i; I KNOW not whethier the following remark is a system of secret deputation, or agency of the Government, or the deliberate villainy of rascally impostors. . £very tavern wall is decorated with advertisements of thousands of acres of land for ^e in every direction of the Union, stating terms in such puffing strains, that would put out of coun- tenance a recommendation of Gilead's Balm, Brodum^s Cordial, or Lee Sugg^s Invisible Witcb of Endor; such traps to catch the unwary, are ge- nerally a complete fraud. Doctors Johnson and JIdiddieton, both M. D. are conspicuous character^ in this species of traffic. Dr. Johnson tells his customers, who are, with few exceptions, English, that he is a countryman from the neighlourhood of Tenbury, Worcestershire ; and the grinning Mid- dleton claims the environs of Bow Bells as his native place; nor do I doubt his assertions, — ominous idea / as I recollect there is a ceitaia coU IN AMERICA. 21 Uge thereabonts, vulgarly denominated durance vile, where we may trace the heraldic honors of his dis* tinflfuished compeers, Jonathan Wild, and George Harrington. By way of illustration, I heg leave to state my own credulity: the latter gentleman announced for sale in Pike County, Pensylvania, matchless land. Accompanied by a Yorkshire gen* tleman, we visited this Oltapod of deception, who assumed sorrow and regret that so many of his countrymen should become dupes to American trick, to obviate which, sighing from his mimic soul a desire to render good, even at theexpence of personal sacrifice of property. During this phifain* thropic detail, the finger (sparkling, cased in a bril- liant diamond) traced the splendid map, and pointed out the bounteous land and wild buck range. Won by his apparent sincerity, 1 gratefully acknow- ledge, I should have added my name to the cata- logue of downright maniacs, but for the penetration of my keen friend, who observed the Doctor^s pro- posals were far ^* warse''^ than Yorkshire, and buy inga pig in a poke, adding, *'• nay, marry, I should be varry sorry if I was*nt a better judge.^* A part of the Doctor^s proposed stipulations was an advance or prompt payment of one dollar for each acre contracted for : this fine fellow, I subse- <[|uently found, had successfully practised a similar 22 THl WAtrDBRIR i 'i trick in London fifteen yean Bgo. However, beinji: honored with the name and direction to his domain, we oommenoed oar route, the distance being eighty computed miles. Huving a swamp and river to cross, on our entering the town of Newark, State of New Jersey, we heard, as we supposed, those ^thful munitors— mastifEs ; and our hostess for the night being an English lady, I inquired if such animals were in general use, such OS we had heard. A question like this excited the risible faculties of my &ir countrywoman, and I heartily joined in the laugh. *^ No, Sir,^* she re> plied, ** these supposed tremendous dogs are bull /rojg'f.**— ** Y'ou mean, Madam, bull dogs 0* but I was soon convinced 1 had' made a 6u//, for those amphibious songsters were the serenaders of the night. The following morning we proceeded, like pilgrims seeking the Holy Loretto, in search of Canaan , and the expectation of milk and honey created a stimulus for pedestrions exertion, amidst all the difficulties of bad roads and the pleasure of a scorching sun, then in the zenith of his domain. On our arrival at Morristown, which, like Newark^ has a thriving appearance, the respectable tavern of Mr. Hayden invited us to enter and recruit our physical wants, and we found him a pleasant, com- municative man — a strange animal in this Land of Nod; for American taciturnity is far less disposed .JN AMERICA. to information than an automaton t rarely can 5011 obtain from tliem more than the unmeaning, dis* eatisiactory terms — ** 1 guess**— or, " I calculate;** a nod make» up for all. It is truly the Land of Jfod, Often liave I comjiared them to surly canine quadrupeds, who growl as they pass, and would, if they liad leisure, turn and bite. Having inquired our future route from Mr. Hayden, he probably read the legible index of our misssion, by guessing we were in search of land, and by answering in the afiSrmative, and Pike County our object, he smiled, and sarcastically observed, to our mortification, *' if stones and the barren waste had l)een our pursuit, we were cer- tainly in the right path to find such ; but if there existed land, it was invisible.** This pleasing in* formation was fully confirmed by the respective opinions of other respectable gentlemen present. My companions having friends originally from £ngland, at a celebrated watering-place called Scholey*s Mountains, some twenty-five miles west- ward of Morristown, we changed our course for this American restorative, but found hot Bath, Tunbridge- Wells, Harrogate, gay Brighton, nor health-breathing Scarborough, but one solitary inn, planted in a rude spot of nature — a correct counter* part of Matlock scenery, mountain gloom, and rock* l.i. 'N 24 Yhe wanderer I !' i it J ■I::! rent precipices Its celebrated water possesses pro- perties similar to one of the Harrogate springs— a combination of sulphur, iron, Ac. and is considered of great benefit to the valetudinarian. Having reached our destination, after a fourteen miles inoming walk, appetite became rather impatient; and like Jeremy Diddler^ *< I consoled the bowels with a promise: but man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upwards : — for our countryman had for- got the rights of hospitality, an old English cus- tom, and Yankee refinement had succeeded. After a desultory conversation of four hours, chiefly re- lating to the usual enquiries of— VVbo^s married ? Who's dead? Who's living? &c. the tea-table made its appearance, and the singing kettle made svi'eet music in- my delighted ears ; and the attack we made upon the pyramids of bread and butter, would have honored a similar corps of Londoners, who are celebrated in such engagements. In the evening we returned for sleeping accommodations to the inn, as my fciend Rawlinson's house was under the controul of carpenters and masons. The next morning my companions returned to bid fare- well to their friends ; for myself, I took breakfast with the dandies and dandyzettes of this fashionable resort ; but here again silence reigned, and in ten minutes, after a long-faced invocation had sanctified the good things of the table, the room was cleared, IN AMERIC.4. 25 \ except " Pill Oarlick,^* Not beings disposed to hazard sadden death by choakiAg, I will not quat- rel with a people on account of customs, nor did I flatter the Americans by ail adoption ol theirs ; but certainly this rapidity of eating is^ in my opiutOli, inconsistent with health and good BJumners: for tuy own port my time has beeir f#e<][iiei¥tly eiUployed dt the table; and eyes talten from the subsiaitiall to the pictaresqiae ; — ^the distortion of CioBiiiefidfi«Jife, thtf swelled cheeks, &e. cwn ofily be infegiik d by ibti pleasing sensation of a hot p&Mto^ being iAIpi^iStf Aed in a certain cavity caUed a mouth. We returned to New York by way of Elizabeth Town ; and as my friend was a complete agricul* turist, he saw no soil satisfactory, though the whole of our route was considered a fine country, and as it was the most advantageous period — the very midst of an American Spring^->we could not but conclude, tbe thin and sandy appearance of the surface was general, and of considerable depth. We observed not the virgin snow-drop, the ena- melled crocus, the golden daffodil, the bashful violet, or perfumed cowslip, decorating the banks, nor the hawthorn hedge in bloom, interspersed with wild roses ; these, our native smiles of Flora, I felt grateful to find, were the admired exotics , as are several of our feathered warblers, which are in great 26 THE WANDERER 1 I demand, as the sky-lark, thrash, wood-lark, hlack- bird, goldfinch, bullfinch, and linnet So rade and rainons is the appearance of the land, with its uncouth and rough fences, a melancholy waste of fine timber, that it gives the contradiction to the American apology — which is, that it is a young country, dawning into existence; for it more resembles an old country, yawning out of existence, as exhibiting the wreck of time, or the expiring remains of a deluge, or some other revo- lationary devastation of nature. Ill li:| IN AMERICA. 27 CHAP. IV. The succeeding morning, after onr return to New York, was ushered in by the ringing of bells, a discharge of ordnance, and other demonstrations of public joy, being the Anniversary of the Cele- bration of Independence, The troops in the city and neighbourhood were assembled in phalanx fine, wearing on such occasions their best bibs and tuckers; orations were delivered at the respective churches, but not in language and tone proper inside such walls, nor consistent with the clerical character, which should inculcate the doctrine of our Divine Master — peace and good will to all mankind. One of these annual mementoes J attended, in the church of the Rev. Mr. Macleod, and found the theme of this pulpiteer and burthen of democratic sortg, was an unneceii^Fary and malign invective, in time of peace, against *^ the proud English," as he termed them, and concluded an half hoards aitiloquent harangue, pitifully delivered, in a kind of dialect ill l! 1 m ,'f I' ■ I i j ; i I'.i: 8S THE WilNDElER which disbonoared both head, heart, and country. Spirit of Burns! I muttered to myself, rise and confront this confounder. — " Soon, my friends," said he, *^ an inv incible navy, the pride, glory, and bulwark of our countiry, will remove the stain and dishonor conferred on it by these haughty tyrants, which they, my friends, not having the fear of viaitation before their eyes, have presumed to call and designate — a Musquito Fleet /"—Thus, without -SfL^se o^ J[^i^&on aligned, ^ey ^i» continually at wqfk \^ ppprpliirious dirtrr- " I do not like you. Doctor Fell, The rei'Got) vvhy, 1 cannot tell; But tfiis 1 knew quite full well, I tlo pvt li*;e yPU, Doctor Fell." ^he parade next denianded a vi^it; t^e coiq- inaudi^g oilicer I fpiind a tailor, (iGeneral Mapes) and I perceived a great want of discipline ^nd eubr ordination— a mere botch, if I may use the gallant Geperal's phrase. The segar, with the officers and |u the ranks, seemed an inseparable companion in this '* cream-coloured collection of narrow-shoul- dered warriors." — Honor and education are com?- ponent ntaterials in the British Officer, and these qualities create a stimulus of unshaken fortitude and undaunted courage ; the reason is obvious, as |liey are gentji^jmep o( j^^^ i^id family, generally IN AMERICA. 129 speaking ; a suspicion only of their want of those requisites would close against them the door of even the society of their relatives. Again, the liberal patronage of the British Government raises and honors, by a proud distinction, her gallant sons. Nelson and Abercrombie, the immortal and legitimate chieftains of distinguished talent, were not the instruments of faction, or the favo- rites of a Court, but rose from subalterns in their professions, by virtue, genius, and irresistible gal- lantry — Peace to their manes.' — and their names are recorded, not only in a people^s alfectionate grati- tude and remembrance, and a peerage in regular descent, supported by appropriate annuities and honors, to tell of Trafalgar, and the Plains of Alexandria ; but the Monument, while the sacred Temples of Britain^s Metropolis remain, will pro- claim their deeds to wondering generations. — Blush, blush, Columbia, the great, the brave, and illustrious VVashingtun, respected by all good men on earth, sleeps in the dust, without the common distinction of a grave! •:ii' The singularity of a tailor commanding five thousand men, I considered strange, because the old adage with us is, that for the manufacture of one man, nine snippies are requisite. Do not. ye Knights of the Thimble, feel offended with the C2 ! J lii 80 THE WINDERER m freedom of liiy remark, but let my taxing, tike m wild goose, fly unclained of any tailor, Coriosity ied me therefore to enquire if such was usual for officers to be mechanics, or other occupations, and found it was so; — Generals, Corpwais, Colonels, Fifers, Majors, Drummers, Captains, Privates, Lieutenants, Serjeants, £nsigM, Pioneers, and ail, when divested of the pride and pomp of glo- rious war, retire inglorious to ignoble avocations, with their ** blushing honors thick upon them,^ and recount their chivalrous deeds, *^ hmr-breadA 'scepes,^^ and all the gallantry of the deadly breach, in the saw-pit or the cobbler^s stall. This is not a titellous rhapsody, bear witiiess, much-injured maid, Bellona ; indeed all claj»ses of the community fol** low some employ. An English country gentleman, I believe the happiest and most respectable man on earth, W4Mi4d be cimsidered an useless character; but America is not the country for any g^itleman. Honor is a virtue of little estimation there ; yet as equality is the order of the day, its name is often proianed and prostituted ;— dirty shop-bojs and petty ofiicers will frequently demand satisfaction for imaginary injury. A nautical puppy, belonging to t*i > Washington^ requested from me an accom- moc dtion of this kind, and suggested pistols ; now 1 thought, (and in my turn suggested) pestles as equally convenient; but in order to appease his, ■\ IN AMERICA. 3) nrgent demand, and satisfy all in my power, I practically explained the newest system (d la Crib) in a victorious manner, and in far less time than perforating a feilow-oreatnre^s body with an eternal passport ; and I seriously recommend the plan» My children were dearer to me than disguised murder, and of more consequence than the chat- tering of an A.merican monkey. — The remainder of this festive day, and only Jubilee in the 365, a few of us, all English, spent at the village of Hoboken, where fell the virtuous and lamented Hamilton in a duel with Colonel Burr, " Honor, thou blood.stain'd God, At whose red altar sit war and homicide/* COLMAir. Fbiin English harmony, respectably pe^ formed by the vocal powers of the party, dishonoured not our national anthems, nor the combined excellence of Messrs. Braham, Incledon, Sinclair, nor that, ^ppy son of Momus^ Grimaldi. Having received the decided opinions of re- spectable characters in favor of Canada, in addition to the honor of recommendations brought from i 'ng- knd, we prepared for our journey, ai'ier I had vi- sited numberless farms for sale or rental, of at least ) i i 32 THE WANDERER sixty circular miles, which 1 found barren and savage, wild and dearer, both as regarded rent or purchase, than the iromediate neighbourhood of Loudon, exclusive of the tax for crossing the rivers at the d liferent terries, for yourself, live and dead stock, which would not be less than twenty pounds per annum. ill III' (; The females of New York, as in all America, are straight, thin and well proportioned, features regular, often very pretty, but void of animation, and in complexion fading lillies — no tint of the opening rose, or crimson blush of the red cabbage; the males are invariably slender, and extremely emaciated in appearance ; a lassitude and indolence in both are the result of the glaring errors of educa- tion, and vice. Females are not taught common industry ; it would degrade these gentry, of any rank, to assist in the hay and corn field — their utility and knowledge extends no farther than the manufacture of a pumpkin pie, or the outlines of a silly romance, or ridiculous novel. The continual use of ardent spirits from the cradle, on the part of the males, ruins the constitution, for at thirty, nature becomes torpid. All labour is done by the children of Africa, or the dusky offspring of St. Domingo— that is, the most servile employ — who 1^ 4MKitIfiU 33 jMW cxlfevelj iwiiero«« in every pirt of the Ujiion, And geoemUj property. « : ■■ ;!li Sluveiy, Iboii grettast earse of heaven ! foul trSMpring of erneUy, oppreesion, ^nd ipjostioe, I write i4^ tell tbeo bow I bate thy beaipg I-'^Honor me, ye who read, ye sons of Albion, with a belief in the following statement — a single selection from hundreds of specimens, and but a few weeks old : — The Savann^, a large town in the southern States of the Union, is supposed to be inhabited by a po- pulation of 1^,000, black and white, and promiscu- ously of all creeds and circumstances in life; the late dreadful fire, which unhappily took place, naturally produced sor^'^w, poverty, and all the embarrassments incident to such a calamity ; a liberal subscription in behalf of the sufferers • took place in New York, and remitted by the Mayor to the Mayor of Sa- vannah, to be disbursed, without exception, accord- ing to the losses and wants of the sufferers, resting with the proper Committee for such laudable pur- pose. Would any man suppose, who presumes to arrogate to himself the title of humanity, that the contributed sum was insolently returned, because the poor bhicks (equal partakers in the bitter cup of affliction), were to participate in the sympathy of benevolence! 84 THE WANDERER Before I left New York, I foand a new voca- bubuy requisite, for these reformers of Slieridan, Walker, Johuson, Ash, and Bailey, had ^iven a novel reading, not only to things, but re-baptized animals ; for a cock^ I found a rooster^ a female of the dog species, a dut^ and other ridiculous Repub- lican innovations. — Thus they HI '* Nick-name God's creatarei, and make their waotonoess their iguorancc/* SBAK«rKAa«. irHi >:! Wk embarked on board a small sloop for Albany, a distance by water of two hundred miles, and in three days we pleasantly navigated the must beaa- tifu! part of the Hudson; its lofty banks or barrier, truly romantic, are studded on each side with several small towns — Hudson, Pousfhkeeps e, Kington, Newburgh, Catskill, &c. Albany is the seat of Government or Legislature, for the State of New York, situated upon an uneven ground, and pos- sessing in its State-house and Academy a laughable attempt at grandeur. The Capitol, so named from the celebrated temple of Ancient Rome, is an un- iinished proof of poverty — broken windows, broken steps without railing, serve as a shade in summer and shed in winter to pigs, cows, marbles, tops, and school-boys. This city, so dignified, retains a kind of feudal or manorial right in the family of Kan- saalaer, and an amiable man now presides, who like a distinguit>bed £ngiis>h Baronet, i^Sir Francis II 3t THB WAMD'Bliaii Bordett) can feel for misfortune, and commute for years* rents — the highest reward of heaven. The people are the same, and stores, law and physic support the majority. The weather now became intensely hot, almost to snffxsation, and we ob- served continual tempests daily, for six weeks; such rain, thunder and lightning I had never wit- nessed in the West Indies. As a specimen of American justice^ from the conduct of an American jurist, the following is a brief sketch.—- Sacred Goddess of Truth ! let me not oifend or violate thy hallowed name ; thee I invoke to sanction by thy divine assent the follow- ing detail. I am a plain matter-of-fact fellow, un- accustomed to ambiguity; nor do I anticipate or fear contradiction — " Lrt the gaXVd jade wince, our withers are unwroog/' I found it requisite, in order to convey my fa- mily to Canada, to purchase a horse, and a light or Jersey waggon ; having made a contract for such Waggon, price forty-five dollars, upon consideration of a trifling addition, at the time appointed lor the completion — pay and receive, Mr. Gold, the vendor, a coachmaker, made a demand before such com- pletion should take place ; 1 objected, and his inso- lence aimiiiilated the agreement. In the evening a r i: f IK jIMFRICA. «T I : ga myrmidon^ a jack-in-offlce, honored me with his lettre-de-cachelf or warrant ; its preamble began " Vou are to apprehend^^ — Unwilling^ to oppose rule, I immediately accompanied him to the ren- dezvous of inquiry — the hall of midnight robbery. The assembled groupe of ** tag, rag and bob-tair* in the office of a pettyfogging attorney, honored by the presidence of a drunken magistrate or ^ squire,^* properly, of the name of Hempstead, would have presented a fine opportunity to Hogarth, V/oodward, or Rowlandson. In the sanguinary days of the French Revolution, Robesp«ere and his associates — nor the plotting demons in the Grec'un horse, could form for the painter^s art so rich a subject, and Milton^s sable angels would be no more remembered. — Such was this nocturnal Junto! The plaintiff, or rather prosecutor. Gold, told his tale in the posture of sitting before this honorable menagerie of ruffiang, and when permitted to reply, custom, consistent with the rules of my country and good manners, induced me to rise ; though in this instance such respect was prostituted, which was observed by an amateur in propriety, and flat- teringly appreciated as a novelty, and as I felt the force and effect of a good cause, which could not, was not, confronted, the filre of indignation gave me language and eloquence to dictate to this arbi« trator of the night even American laws, and such D 'Hi 38 THE WANDERER I* m was corroborated by an ex-magistrate then present, Mr. Waring, who referring to the law-book, ex- pressly read, that no contract was complete until the property, with all its stipulated additions and alterations, ivas in the purchaser's possession ; yet notwithstanding this decision, the sum of ten dol- lars was awarded to Gold, and one dollar seventy- five cents became the purloined booty of this scoun- drel squire. Remonstrance was laughed at ; and ii^ the language of a once M. P. for Sussex, this con- solation was added : — '^ It's a good country, and let those who don't like it, leave it."— Could 1, Promotheus-like, have stolen from Heaven the Ignited flash, like him I, would have animated this unjust composition of clay with something like integrity. Leaving Albany, we proceeded by way of Scheneetady, Cherry Valley, Bridgewater Utica, and VVatertown, to Sacket's Harbour. The land we found generally very indifferent, even that they called cleared, in appearance like an English church-yard ; stumps of trees from one to three feet high, resembling grave or head-stones, which incumbrance literally occupies half the land. We found the Log Hut thinly scattered by the road side ; such edilices in general require no permission, but, like Robinson Crusoe, build where they like, IN AMERICA. S9 anci range where they please, with the darling rifle or fowling piece; but should time and industry make any improvements, the lord of the soil re- moves these squatters, as they are called, or imposes an adequate rent. Between Bridgewater aud Utica we observed some excellent land, an old settlement, in possession of originally Dutch emigrants, but it is almost tt^ithout exception, in every part of the States, co- vered with immense stones, which, in addition ta stumps, led me to suppose the scissors or penknife were substitutes for the scythe and sickle, which circumstance, amongst other remarks, I hope, will, KB the recapitulation, enable me to plainly point out to the emigrant agriculturist, future^ or present prospects, advantages and disadvantages. In Utica, a kind of Joa MiUer doggerel, the production of some inspired American bard, ap- peared over the door of a tobacconist ; three gro- tesque figures served as a vehicle for this sublime composition, represented in the act of chewin?, smoking, and taking snuff, and underneath the fol- lowing attempt to rival a Byron or a Scott :-^ ^ ** We thr<*e nre ewgagert In one cauw j— I siiufls, I smokes, and I chaws/* r j m 40 THE WANDERER 11-]' I remember to have seen in the neighbourhood of Stockport, Cheshire, a similar production over the door of a barber and wig-maker, illustrated by a well-executed corresponding painting representing the Flight of Absolem and bis fatal suspension, thus lamented: — " If Absolem had wore a wig, He wonid not thus have dancM a jig." Arrived at Sackef s Harbour, a naval and military dep6t, I felt a desire to visit the ships of war, and being about to pass the sentinel — *^ Are you an American?'^ — I answered in the negative. — "Then you cannot proceed.^* Proud to declare my coun* try, 1 returned disappointed, but not dishonored. But, said I to myself, a time there was, and not seven years ago, I might, like the galk\nt Sir U. Wilson, in answer to the French Advocate, have said, I am of that country that conquered America, by transposing France and America. Such a posi- tion as this, a statement of such a nature, may appear erroneous ; but if the veracity of the Ame- rican Prints themselves may be credited, and the divided opinions of her factions and party takea into consideration, her poverty and embarrassment, and defection of some of her commanders, such a change of politics appear feasible, a short time pre- a rN AMKRICi. r 41 vious to the close of hostilities between her and Great Britain ; simply two reasons (positiv f' facts) need only be required — to sanction the aro.*iuent from the pulpit at Boston, and the whole line of sea board on her eastern frontier, the people chiefly Federalists, were exhorted to oppose the ruinous system of their Government, and separate from the Union. And the credit of her Government found it difficult to raise a million of dollars at the enor- mous interest of forty per cent. — Contnidict me, if ye can, ye mercenary usurers of Wall-street, New York. '1 a Finding, according to information, the American side, the Knes or boundary of separation between the United States and Canada superior roads, we took our route for Canandagua, Lewistown, Queenstown, Niagara, &c. ; but American roads are at best like American manners — very unplea- sant; their wooden bridges tottering beneath you, are extremely dangerous, often rudely formed of trees placed, or resting only upon their extreme ends, and frequently a \ acancy of a foot between, which obliges your hcNrse to plunge or leap, and you and carriage exposed to the favorable chance of axle-tree or neck breaking. Such public erections are aptly denominated, and clearly defined, srrid- iron bridges ; yet althou^^h thus continually exposed D2 iz THE WANDERER ^\. to the exquisite anticipation of a delightful finish^ you pay toll. ; Lewistown and Queenstown, daring the late war, were the scenes of action between the hostile troops of England and America, and heroes sleep no more remembered ; the gallant and generous Brock, and no less brave Pike, the American Ge- neral, once contending, by sanguinary deeds and crimsoned glory, ambition^s cause, and every foot of ground now lie lodged in peace, nor willow bound their graves, or weeping cypress to mark the bed of honor. li The Falls of Niagara are at once sublime and terrific — one of nature's majestic phenomena; a minute description requires the philosopher's pen, or the poetic description of a Milton or a Thompson. ^^ The roar of waters from the headlong height, Velino, cleaves the way-worn precipice ; Ihe fall of waters, rapid as the light. The flashing mass foams, shaking the abyss, The hell of waters, where they howl and hiss, ' And boil in endless torture, while the sweat Of their great agony, wrung out from this Their Phlegethon curls round the rocks of jet. That gird the gulf around in pitiless horrors set.*' IN AMERICA* 43 U " And mounts in spray the skies, and thence again Returns in an unceasing^ shower, which round, With its unemptyM cloud of gentle rain, Is an eternal April to the ground, Making in all one emerald, how profound The gulf, and how the giant element, From rock to rock, leaps with delirious bound, Crushing the cli£&, which downward worn and rent. With his fierce footsteps yield in chasms a fearful vent" *' To the broad column, which rolls and shows More like the fountain of an infant sea, Torn from the womb of mountains by the throes Of a new world, than only thus to be. Parent of rivers, which flow gushingly, With many windings thro' the vale — look back, Lo ! where it comes like an eternity. As if to sweep down all things in its track, Charming the eye with dread — a matchless cataract/* ** Horribly beautiful, but on the verge, From side to side, beneath the glittVing morn, An Iris sits, amidst the infernal surge, Like hope upon a death«bed, and unworn m 44 THE WANDERER l!l! Its steady dyes, while all around is torn By the distracted waters, bears serene Its brilliant haes, witl< all their beams unshorn, Resembling, ^mid the torture of the .^^^ene. Love, watching madness, with unalterable mien.* * The above quotation from the Fourth Canto of Childe Hakold (words of fire) are applicable^ they are worthy the mighty genfus of the greatest modern poet, and will out- live their noble author^ and keep pace with time. Those line^, read by any person of a warm fancy in a fine Sammer^s morning in view of Niagara, and while the Iris beams on his eye, would exclaim — " This indeed is the language of enraptured poetry V* W I Mi 1 I IN AMERlClr iS CHAP. Vf. iW f »»»>' We crossed Lake Ontario in a steam-boat, and found ourselves in York, the seat of Government for Upper Canda ; it is somewhat ludicrous to call it so, but so it is, and I have already observed, an amiable character presides as Governor. I know not exactly the nature of the accusation- brought by Mr. Gourlay against its executive, he- fore the British House of Commons; but I will hazard an opinion. Sir Peregrine Maitland is not directly included, in any complaint of a perversion of duty, or obliquely censured as guilty of a con- nivance at the deiiBction of otiiers. I cannot pro- pose such humble responsibility for the virtue of some of its members, because I am confident dis- honorable and interested corruption has taken place. Sir Peregrine had, and has yet, much to contend with : the Senators, Representatives and Magistrates are nominaUy British subjects, but it would be a 1 m THS WiNDERER ;: - lillil bold assertion to say, they possessed British bosoms, prone to cherish Britain^s weal. I am of opinion, no, but like the Vicar of Bray, would chansfe sides with indifference ; several of them are Yankees from Connecticut and Vermont, in the magisterial department ; and unfortunately their boyhood was in those days ere the existence of Charity Schools. — Mr. Gourlay^s ai&iir was thus mildly cominunicated by Sir P.:— ** In the cntirse of ynnr InTnt^ntimi yon will, I doubf iot« feel a just iiidi«;nation at ibe atleitipt which bai been nade to excite discoDtent, and to organize sedition. 8tw«14 it appear to you, that a Conveiuioa of Dftegates cannot exist without danger to the Constitution, in frara itg a law of prevention, your dispassionate wisdom will be cureful that it ihall not unwarily tretsp iss on that sacred right of the swhject— > to Neek » redren of his grie? auces by petiiiuu." The absence of Sir P. and the Hon. Judge Pow«U» (an excellent character) from the seat oi Govern* ment, detained us at Yotk a short time, as I had the honor of letters to each ; during which vacation I took staff in band, or rather a fowling piece, and accompanied by an affectionate friend-^ he whom no sinecure or splendid patronage could corrupt — he whom the wintry wind or summer's torrid beat could not alienate his faithful sincere attachment, (Jessoa to mankind !) — Gratefully I record tby namoy H.ai ilh It IN i(M ERICA. 47 for ever absent, loet, ever-remembered Holla;-— not the virtuouB Peruvian, but of a race equally honest. Thus attended, and in appearance rather grotesque — an enormous chapenu, manufactured of a kind of siiky grass, possessing the properties of elasticity, lightness, and strength, bDmbuzeen jacket and trowsers, yellow uiockasons, no stockings, and bare neck, 1 traversed the bunks of Lake £rie, an inland sea, which evolves a mighty volume of pellucid expanse, and through bush, brake, bog, and briar, visited the busy, iast-lmproving towns of Maiden, Sandwich, Amherstberg, River Thames, <&c, and the extreme boundary of Canada to the west- ward. The land I found excellent; rich loams, Umes, and a frequent mixture of a sandy soil upon a rich clay ; such variety exists in the neighbour* hood of Doncaster and Tuxford (England), and a deep black soil, like the prolific Lincolnshire fens, was often observable. Thus blessed with the best climate of that unbounded Continent, seemed only to require British industry to reap the abundant bounty of an Almighty Benefactor. Here, were it possible to cement in bonds of friendship three or four families, who, like Castor ^ Pollux, could suffer no change, and like the laws of the Medes S( Persians, remain unalterable, in sickness or in health; to such I could pronounce and warrant complete success. Surrounded by plenty, in retired and IS ;!i!ii YHE W.iNDERER liil f< St. 1 ?'!!■ Ki. 1 iiii ' "' ^ if i' mi- social happiness, here taxation tortures not, nor legions of excisemen desolate the land ;— " Bat o*er their labour liberty and law imparlial watch." Returned to York, the object of my mission being ratified, we prepared for our departure, agreeable to a prior engagement I had made, and descended Lake Ontario by the steam boat, Fron- tinae, to Kingston, the distance two hundred miles ; and this beautiful charming Lake aifords many views which might have delighted a Claude, We found Kingston a military station, like York, but more extensive and populous, being likewise a naval dep6t ; and the fine ships St. Lawrence, and Psyche, now on the stocks, I hope are destined to transmit unsullied to posterity a Nelson^s fame — an £xMOUTH^s fortitude. In the neighbourhood farms were to sell or let, and I again repeat, decidedly for an English former, from hence to the westward boundary is the most eligible situation ; yet, and I speak doubtingly, I am apprehensive the wilderness is little understood in England. Let me observe, it is a bold undertaking to seek in its mazes an English Home. The Americans are excellent forest pioneers ; with axe on shoulder, (and no men can use that instrument like them), they face the laby- rinth — not so John Bull — He wants neighbours shaped something like himself; not the gaunt wolf, IN AMERICA. # or ru^^ed bear, whose domiciliary vi^ifs by ni^ht are distiipated by day, with the annoyance of armed inusqaitos, and the fascinating concert of countlesB choirs of crickets, grasshoppers, and ball-frogs. During my stay here, the invitation of some countrymen led me to suppose the sport of shooting I should find and enjoy ; but the continual appro hension of disturbing the repose of some usrly in* habitant of the desert, or my legs coming in contact with the twining affections of snakes and Serpents, cooled the ardour of my propensity. From King- ston we descended the River St. Lawrence, by the steam-boat, as far as Prescot, a small military sta- tion, and the remainder of the distance, 1 40 miles, in an aquatic vehicle, called a Durhiim boat. The rapids^ as they are called, are truly astonishing, and respecting these singular curiosities, various have been the conjectures, and many vague, and even superstitious opinions, assigned as the cause : the principal ones are Langsoult Cedars, Split-rock, and Cascades; the former of these is considered nine miles in length, yet such was the velocity of speed, that in twelve minutes fifteen seconds we completed the distance ; the others are not so long, nor have they that rapidity of distracted stream, but more frightful than a gale of wind and the Bay of Biscay ; — an endless, unceasing, unmitigating, f ^0 THE WANDERER '\'m I'l i violent agitation, in short broken billows, foaming in milky rage, are tlie ciiaracteristics, and such ap- peared to my shallow comprehension coold only be thus briefly accounted for : — At some period, from some unknown cause, large fragments of broken rooks liave become concentrated at the diiterent places, in irregular positions, or a rocky bottom has become rugged, from some violent concussion of nature, probably an earthquake, as such are not affected by seasons or weather. ■ It is a compliment due to the Canadians employed in navigating the numerous boats and batteaux up and down this fine, this second river in the world, that no men on earth labour more ; yet the ditty (in corrupt French) serves as a stimulus to ex- ertion. We passed several small towns, both Eng- lish and American, on either side of its banks, the land generally improving in cultivation. On entering Lower Canada, the change is visible ; the crucifix at every turn, or at the doors, the grinning wooden spectres of mutilated saints, from the Holy Virgin down to Madam Bridget, or the poor devil-worried St Anthony. — Hail, hail, iw. posing Bigotry ! art thou really a blessing or a curse to man ? said 1 ; — the idol answered an affirmative to the former, because, like Ignorance, my votaries are happy. On our right bank of the river we left t .. /iw '■ ' t , IN AMERICA. Jl QttT boat at an Indian settlement, called Cochenouaga^ and crossed the river to La Chine ; and this we found the most dangerous part of our river excur- sion, for our ferryman was either a criminal or a stupid student of Charon, as a leaky boat placed ns, in a very cold afternoon, ankle deep in water ; at lensrth we discovered two distinct holes in the boat^s bottom, which cavities were filled with two distinct thumbs — still Monsieur Jean Baptists rowed away and sung in French, while I thumbed away and d d in English. Arrived at length in this Canadian Mart, Montreal, supper and retirement closed the day. Montreal is a large city, on a regular plan, in its original design, but very irregular, and in a dis- jointed manner' jumbled together; — streets ex- tremely filthy, aif dedicated to some saint, with- out exception, the principal one to St. Paul ; but I believe that saint, in the course of his pedestrious mission through Greece, Tarsus, or Jerusalem, ne- ver found a more polluted one. I had often heard that Montreal was an elegant place: it is no compli- ment, and far from flattery, to tell its proud inhabi- tiints that it is the dirtiest place in all America, and unequalled both in public and private nuisances, and want of common convenience, at once obnoxious to health and decency. The Canadians, who form S2 THB WANDERER ) ; PI ': ill' the majority of its inhabitants, aie passionately fond of garlic ; tiieir houses are consequently im- preg[nated witli the sickly effluvia of that root, highly oifensive ia passengers in their streets. In Summer time, happily of short duration, the heat is intolerable; the thermometer, frequently at 105, is coolly and deliberately augmented by a custom which would be ** more honored in the breach than in the observance ;'* that is, their churches and roofs of houses are covered with tin, and their doors and shatters cased in sheet iron ; the glittering of the Imrmer, I suppose, is to attract thieves, and the latter to puzzle them, — Such being combined together, impart a kind of furnace-like atmosphere. The principal church is ^otre Dame, or Catholic Church, and a very handsome building it is ; but its intericnr demands a few observations, which I shall briefly make — such that would, a few months ago, (had I been in his power) have conferred on me all the honors and bhssings of the righteous Inquisition-^ be, the gallant Ferdinand, whose embroidered piety, and the imperishable sanctity of an Apotheosis, and for crimes and ingratitude yields to the ambitious degradation of a man-milliner, and attempts to bribe the rage of ill-requited Heaven with — a petticoat! li- IN AMERICA* ^3 i\ '«»•»♦» » ■ Such enlightened and distingfuished characters as ft FrNGAL, a DONOUGHMORK, a PeTRB, a STOURTONy an Ar[tndel, a Throckmorton, and an amiable Gloucestershire worthy and benevolent Cannimo, are not slaves to dogmas and bigotry ; such they consider truly what they are— powerful auxiliaries to politic rule in all countries : and of all creeds, the Catholic religion is almost invisible in the United States; — harmless, loyal, faithful, and brave, in Canada; — in Ireland, oppressed ; — in France, bedrid- den; — Portugal and Italy still retain their expiring vitality ; — and in Spain probably, the recent transfer of politic power may induce men to think for them- selves — not by proxy, on the most essential point and import; but, as the Methodists observe, ^^ Faith''* is every thing. It is not my province to offend, and far, far indeed from a desire ; but surely as a traveller, I may promnlii^te any trifle gleaned on my way. The interior of Sfoire Damt is truly £2 •:'■!'■■ Jill CHAP. VII. .11 I ^4 THE WANDERER P (t I elegant ; bat I am such a stupid, incorrigible rascal, that I prefer, in spite of tyrant custom, nature to art. I am not a connisseur of fashion, but rather an ungallant antiquary: one mistake appeared to me visible ; either such was the excess of enthusiasm in others, or a proof of my want of modem taste, therefore to the score of ignorance on my part I will add this deficiency of judgment. The Virginy according to the Bethlehem costume, eighteen hun- dred and twenty years ago, would, agreeable to her rank as the betrothed wife of a carpenter^ be habited in simple, unadorned attire — the pure emblem of chaste affection ; not as pourtrayed, a giddy girl of fifteen, decorated with artificial flowers, white satin shoes, and all the appendages of £nglish fashion, for the year 1820, thus resembling more a female ..^pera dancer, than a serious and sedate Syrian Qiatron. This Church, like its extensive Academy, gives bread to numberless priests ; here too are some half dozen convents for blushing virgins, who have abjured the world, and the shocking men who reside in it. Some of these tender damsels, tbose parti- cularly of the order of St Ursula, I considered 70 ; but a life so recluse soon wears the marks of time. These inconsistent abodes of misanthropy and spot- less virtue are externally considered the final close of human passions : it may be so ; but 1 have fre« quently iuduiged an uuchoritable thought— that as I \\i: IN AMERICA. ss several of the priests are well-looking young men, and some oi these immaculate nymphs young and beautiful, (I do not mean, by the bye, the antiquated dames of St. Ursula;, but the youthful victims at the shrine of St. Antoinette, or White Nuns; yea, verily, I have thought as these happ}'' rogues have by spiritual legation, free access to these handmaids )^\ of Vesta, whether the unconquerable power of smil- ing, irresistible Cupid, or the stern gravity of Monastic rule, Via» predominated.* ■lr Having business, I left my family in Montreal, and by steam-boat, Lady Sherhrooke, descended the St. Lawrence to Quebec, by way of Berthier, Trois Riviere, or Three Rivers, St. Anne, St. Augustine, d:c. — and found it the slovenly sister of Montreal, ■iii * I am aaf(irtunat<>ly so imperfect a Theologist ns to re- ject the power of granting mortal absolution, and am so grossly stupid as to suppose such rather iccreiises than di- minishes vice ; because offici.l perquisites and emancipution are reciprocal contracts. Expunge the one, the other will wither. Prompt Payment. — A culprit made application in Mont* real for such white-waading ; the crime hay>steali[igf and for 8tic!i beiii'diction the fee of half a dollar was demanded — a dollar being tendered, the absolver not hnving change, was told with the utmost " sang froicJ" to keep the whole, as he, the absolved, iuteiided to possess himself of the remiiinder of the hay i 66 THE T7ANDERER i lilli and, as asnal, law, physic, and auctioneers famish the catalogue of respectables. On the Plains of Abraham, in its immediate environs, you are shewn the stone (as they say) upon which expired the immortal Wolfe ; they may <' tell this to the marines, but the sailors wo^nt believe iV A me- lancholy gloom at this period prevailed in Quebec, and throughout Canada, from the following cause. Before quitting this capital, I visited the Cathedral^ and paid a tributary respect oi sad regret, and such willing homage was increased at the awful uncer- tainty of human life, while statue-like, I pondered o^er the grave of a recent illustrious tenant — that grave which contained the torpid remains of mor- tality, who but a few weeks before 1 had seen active and vigorous, and such physical elasticity I had so recently opposed in the tennis-court at Kingston, whose urbanity I can never forget — Charles Duke of Richmond — whose untimely death was a public loss and a public sorrow ; — he who, it seemed, wus ordained by fate to undertake the Herculean task, and cleanse the *' Augean Stable,^'' — I returned to Montreal, and now commenced an illness (dyssen* tery and bilious affection), which for ten month$ has, and yet remains, though less malignant, a ruin- ous companion. The wholesome beverage of duty and industry I h 1 t ' 1 J '■ ^8 THE WANDERER sanctioned by the priests — that the island is doomed to totai destniction by some terrible visitation, and this they supposed the hour of retribution ; from morning early the church was crowded with priest?, nuns, and laity — but, strange to tell, notwithstand- ing high mass, wax lights, and decorated saints, the electric fluid set their fane on fire, by igniting the tower containing the bells — the only injury done by the tempest; the rain, black as ink, fell in tor- rents, yet in the immediate environs of the church, many hundreds were kneeling, who could not gain admission, nor dared they have presuikied to move, had all the plagues of Egypt assailed their deluded, devoted heads. The fire attracted the alarm of the inhabitants, and some seamen belonging to English ships, with other individuals, requested, from the Commander of the Faithful^ aid from a part of his flock, to assist in extinguishing the fire; this rea^ sonable request was forbidden on pain of excom- munication. At length the seamen and others suc- ceeded, and received as a kind of salvage, about ten dollars ; but as a climax or ascendancy of en- lightened bigotry, many individuals, who could afford flight, crossed the St. Lawrence to a sup- posed land of safety ! Severe winter now commenced her gloomy reign ; fuel in great demand, and in price excessive ; and Hi' IN AMBRICA. 59 as my attendant disease became more confirmed and> violent, to remove immediately was impossible, and in six weeks, from a fourteen-stone man, I became the ghost of an apology for suoh - of nine stone. This kind of transition is one of th^ superlative advantages of emigration, whii ' aoiuv ' have de- licately withheld from the public ; but as I do not possess such reserve, I think it essential, and, in my humble opinion, of the highest importance and most material consequence, to tell a British people, especially those it may concern to know — there are, in every part of the American Continent, wholesale thinners of the land continually in existence, in the retinue of fevers, yellow, purple, scarlet, black, bilious and intermittent ague, dyssentery, cholera morbus, &c.&c. — And now, O stern remembrance, soften thy rigorous detail of human sufR^rings in a land I blush to acknowledge its rulers, but T am confident, without the concurrence of the Parent Government; such is a part of that vile system, that explains my meaning in my observation, rela- tive to that power Sir P. Maitland has and yet combats, at Montreal. A spirited remonstrance, appeal, and painfiil exposition, was made by the Grand Jury to the supreme power, that is, the Judges and Magistrates, relative to the prison and prisoners, which ** out-herod's Herod ;'' and in the comparison the Parisian Bastile was the sanctuary if «0 THE WANDERER of conpasskm?— Bleraed fflmde of Howard, de« scend from thy blissfal mamnon, and teach these deputed guardians of British subjects thy creed of sympathy ! — and tell them the hapless victims of guilt and sorrow have a claim, consistent with safety and justice, on the pitjing alleviation of the children of humanity. ** 'Tit an nnweeded gardes. That grows to seed { things rank and gross in nature Possess it merely.** mVW mi But Montreal is not the place for misfortune to seek an asylum in ; here are no pitying Institutions; oh yes, one — that is a twopenny Sunday School, and an attempt at another— a Bible Society, which is not so much in demand as the spirit of the book, and sum total fA divine precept and sacred history. Charity, Heavenly Maid, this, this is thine.—- If a man supplicates bread to cram a bible down his throat, it might be considered a pious swallow, but not so easy of digestion as its magnitude in the shape of roast beef. To Colonel Burer and the Officers of the 37th Regiment, and to Colonel McGregor and Officers of the 70th, public gratitude is due; they, as British Soldiers, felt the misery of their hapless countrymen — exiles in an inclement season, and fi.«i ill IN AMERICA. 61 knowing tbe vortex of fashion coold be transfoimed into the stream of Charity, converted the drama into the magic illusion ; thus, while the respective talents of these gallant Sons of Mars honored Melpomene and Thalia^ they shed a lustre on hu- manity, while pity dropped a tear of gratitude in behalf of pale sorrow, and registered a blessing in Heaven. I am most anxious to recommend to these North- Westers — these Montreal dealers in pot-ash, musk rat, and bear-skins. Benevolence, and shame their frigid apathy, else I would attempt matter more essential. Recent emigrants were perishing or seeking, by broken hearts, premature graves !— > *^ Tell not these truths in Gath,'*^ or hide your di- minished heads, ye who know these things. Would the Arab, the decryM Algerine, or much-injured, libelled African suppose, that in January last, a man (a Northumbrian) and his wife were on the bed of death, unnoticed, but not unknown — on one side, the corpse of a child, and on the other side, a younger one, expiring, surrounded by meagre want, friendless and forlorn! — No, no, not friend- less ; for thy mejrcy. Eternal Deity, accepted the sigh and ejaculation of fast-fleeting misery ; — thus they breathed their last, and fled for and found *' another and a better world !" ''I In quitting Canada, I cannot but wonder why F \m THE WANDERER England retains so unprofitable an app4*ndage in her dominions; the only answer that can be made will bear an analogy with Montreal feelings — that is, Timber, One half is boundless snow, and the other half literally a wilderness : it is a colony niain- feined at an enormous e^ipence. Two distinct branches of Government, a military and naval es- tablishment, and no direct or indirect system of taxation to make any return, except a small import duty; but I place enquiry on the shelf, like an unfashionable Bill in St. Stephens^s Chapel— to be read this day six months. In addition, on the I ounty of Government, rely numerous Indian Tribes, of little value in peace or war — as few of them possess a Tecdmseh^s fire. — This brave, undaunted Indian, after the death of his friend and patron. Sir Isaac Brocke, found no kindred spirit with whom to act; but stung with grief and indignation, after upbraiding in angry just and bitter sarcasms, the letreat of our forces, his great soul, unequal to the task of fortitude, impetuous he rushed on a corps of cavalry, whose leader he supposed the American General Harrison, and like the gallant Shaw, of Waterloo celebrity, not until others fell by his arm, was he himself numbered with the dead.* * After the frill of poorTecumseh, so trrriblo, while living, wai hh coorageoiu ntime to the AoiericaD troops, that al- IN AMEAICi« 63 TO THE MEMORY OF TECUMSEH. of Tecumseh has no g^rave, but eagles dipt Their ravening beaics, and dranli his stout heart's tide, Leaving his bones to whiten where he died. His skin by Christian tomahawks was stripped From the bare fibres. Impotence of pride! Triumphant o*er th^ earth-worm, but in vain ; Deeming th* impassive spirit to deride, Which nothing or immortal knows no pain. J Might ye torment him to this earth again, That were an agony ; bis children's blood DelugM bis soul, and like a fiery flood, ^corch'd up his core of being; then the stain Of flight was on bim, and -the wringing thought, He should no more the crimsen hutcbet raise, Nor drink from kindred lips his song of praise. So liberty, he deemM, with life, was cheaply bought though he attacked them singly, and fell at lust by the hands of Cnlnnel Johnson, one geueral shoat took place, and they acttiKlly. in narrow striii After every known recipe and surgical amusement had tortured, ineifectually, my emaciated frame, a return to native air was pronounced by the illegiti- mate sons of Messrt. Galen Sf ^sculapius, my last resource, and I left Montreal, not as the contem- plating sage would the Ruins of Palmyra, or a Grecian Temple, with regret ; nor had I the part- ing curiosity of Mrs. Lot —In a Sleigh we crossed the River St. Lawrence, which was a carriage with- out wheels, open sides, ornamented with a kind of curtain, drawn by four excellent horses ; and we reached the town of La Prairie, the distance of nine miles, in one hour and twenty minutes, through stupendous mountains of ice, and chasms of wintry desolation. This mode of travelling was novel, and rather unpleasant at this period; for flesh and bones had dissolved partnership, and I found myself rather too transparent^ to encounter the chance of limb dislocation; but wrapt in the IN AaiERICJl. ti$ sfcin of a baffitlo, and a geal-iskiii cap, I preferred the pnre air, although coM and pieroing^ to the Btewinj^^ exhalation of stoves within doors. On tii« foUowing morning-, after leaving St John*s, we croBsed Lake Champlain, and our driver exclaimed | •* There they ore." " WhatF sakl I. " Wliy, tin British ships;** aiid the scene of action pointed out where Kngknd^s navy sufli^red shameful defeat; the captive fleet were sad trophies of the tight. My friend Jehu*s remarks were true, but rather gallingly snpleasant: this was the third exhibition of the kind. I had seen the vanquished Flotilla of Luke £rie, a^id the crest-&iien Guerfier, Neither Nelson «or Cochrane was there — a perspective of West- iDinster A bbey, nor that monitor, *' England expects every man to do his duty.^ »» < We proceeded rapidly on by way of Swuiton, Burlinsfton, Vergennes, Cambridge, Salem, Lan3- ingbargb, and Troy, to /Albany. Burlington and ^Salem are pretty towns, formed of worxl, elegantly painted, resembling btind-boxes. Returning to our old quarters in Albany, a good fire and a weIcQ«i)e look from mine host and bis clean good-tempered spouse, Mr. and Mrs. Jones, State-street, re-ani- mated our i'ro»m frames ; and as a skilful M.D. was recommended, and pronounced infallible, pruden(;e and hope prompted a halt for a few dajs. J2 ;i:ii! ' ', ll sss 6d THE WANDERER This being the season of Legislation for the State of New York, our boarding-house was honored by the M. P. presence of about ten of these dignified Representatives; and I flattered myself in proud conceit I should have found Socrates, Cicero, De- mosthenes, and a few more such luminaries, and concluded that taciturnity, I had so much con- demned in others, was my only retreat, where I could listen and learn. The Hon. Speaker, Mr. Spender, one of our guests, I found a pleasant, well-informed gentleman, animated in conversation, shrewd in remark, generally correct, and candid in opinion ; but I found not a second among his fellow ktbourers in the vineyard of public good. Natioijt- alities will creep into chat, &ud when such conclude amicably, they serve to sweeten, enliven, and im- prove. The British and American navy became s topic, and a wise logician, in the shape of a farmer, (an M. P.) observed, after an immense length of fustian had been measured and bestowed on Perry, Decatur, Bambridge, Macomb, Hull, M^Donagh, Joiies, and Lawrence, *' the English, for years past, had been only accustomed to French and l^panish contests, until the late American war, which had proved the superior tactics and physical powers of the Americans.^* ^' It is a tale told by an idiot, full of ponnd and fury.** - XJnwilUjg my friend Chopstick sl^ould carry his m IMBRICA. 6T point by boarding, I opposed liim from the main- chains of truth, and luckily silenced by a broadside the oanonades of bis volubility. — " If, Sir, you will refer your memory so &r back as the painful recollection ctf the Shannon and Chesapeake, you will find that the only instance wL«3re personal and indivi- dual strength was brought into action; the result of that memorable day all the world knows ; — the brave Lawrence flattered much, and promised more- even the company of the captive Broke, to dine with the Bostonians; but alas! the triumphal baked meats did but coldly furnish forth the funeral table ! The fate of the English ships Macedonia, Guerrier, Java, Frolic, &c. was the diance of contest as re* garded wind, position, weight of metal, and number of men; and, Sir, you will recollect, an American frigate, rated at 36 guns, is equal in every appoint* ment to an English 50-gun ship."^ — These law- makers are pleasantly situated during the Session, which generally continues four months, enjoying a salary of seven dollars per day, for yea and nay, assent or dissent ; but as there was no vacancy, I did not ask for a plare. I thought this payment for Representation rather novel, and though quite agreeable to the Representatives, seems a burthen to the people, but ^ M\c virtue is a hollow name ; a few, indeed, possess its patriot dignity and cou- rage in any country. • if i!'! m THE WANDERER {|ii ■i. The invitation of a gcfttleman of the AtteriiNui Mar, not a Bar-rister, bat a very respectable worthy pirblican, induced me to aooonqiany him in his JSleigh, drawn by two beaatifui blood horses, to Boston, and we skimmed alouj^ famously over the blanched sar£su» ; indeed I admire this method of travelling. — Boston to a town more ancient in its appearance than any in America, and its inhabitants are a very dvil pec^le. On my retam to Albany, we proceeded, wife, children, and baggage, to New York. My old aoqaiaintanee and English townsman, Mr. J. a celebrated glass manu&cturer, strongly mrged me to accompany him to Philadel* phia, BaUimoR, Charleston, and Washington, adding, no ejepence ahoakd be incurred to me, as ^^ Howd^yedof* would occur so frequently on our wtty, that such an- unpleasant companion to slender ^nances would not attend os.-^Philadelphia is rather more than handsome, for it is an elegant city; streets much cleaner than New York, run parallel^ and as its inhabitants are a &r more moral people, knavery seems less in demand. — Baltimore was in the days of Colonial Regimen the focus of &shion, and it is now, as is supposed, the most wealthy. Democracy reigns here in all its glory ; but their haven lias become the rendezvous of pirates, according to observations in Congress.— Charleston r.ui Jil' IN AMERICA. 69 is the abode of planters, and dealers in cotton, rice, human sorrow, and tobacco; here the pestilence often reigns, and suddenly calls to an eternal ac- count the tyrant, monopolizer, and frees from the scourge of a despotic ruler, many a burtheued slave. Washington is the seat of Government; this city was not created by a natural course of events, but by a political speculation. The unfinished plan supposes an immense growth, bui, its situation pro- hibits that supposition ever having been realized. Perhaps if the true interest of the Union was con- sidered, it would rather be held sacred to Science, Philosophy, the Arts, and Le«^islation, and kept holy from commercial avarice, to vrhich the mem- bers of different States may repair to breathe an atmosphere untainted by local prejudices, &rA find golden leisure for pursuits and speculations of pub- lic utility. The country around Washington is proverbially barren. — The following anecdote I beg leave to call in, from which 1 may deduce proof. My friend bad about eighteen montlis before sent a package of glass to his Washington customer, and followed in person ; on opening this package at the door of this tradesman in the street, a herd of hungry cows, seeing and espying a rich banquet of 'J ii ■ : lilil III!! m :l;lli| I'M TO THE WANDERER straw, came fall gallop, and without leave or puce, began the glorioua gorge; opposition was ques- tionable, while thus they stood in apprehension pale, and in council deep ; fear suggested flight, on this united supposition — Will not these voracious devils eat us? — After this awful catastrophe, my friend and the tradesmen were lamenting in doleful narrative the disaster and loss ; for the unmannered brutes had, in their hasty repast, swallowed an ele- gant decanter f This complaint being made at the tavern of a Frenchman, he thus consoled their grief: — *• Vat de devel, you grumbel bout you von decantaire ! Vat de devel yon tink ? — My vife vash a de mine nine ruffel shirt, and hang a uem at de door to dry upon de line;— vel, vat you suppos ? von cot tam cow eat a de.m all vp ! — Tam you, von decantaire! — Vat you tink, now?" Returned to New York, we began to think of Europe, having wandered sufficiently east, west, north, and south, to obtain every information rela- tive to this New World. Indeed, from the many disappointed and ruined returned emigrants I bad seen from the Western States of Ohio, Illinois, Tennesse. Indiana, and Missouri, I felt no desire to proceed further ; and as such States have been the attractive point of emigration, I will faithfully iN AMERICA. 71 expose the wicked fallai.'y of Mr. Birkbeck, of whom I have already complained respecting such Stages. I ,' A circumstance took place at this period in New York, March, 1820. which occupied public opinion in a very extensive, though not decided manner. A Mr. Stoughton, son of the Spanish Consul at New York, and a Mr. Goodwin, a Yankee citizen, bad previously diifered in opinion on some trifling occasion, and happening to meet in Broadway, the latter attempted to impose a kind of chastisement, by the application of his cane, on the shoulders of the former, which being prevented by the latter catching hold of the same, the former holding fast, drew from this tube a sword or blade, and by an allonge, instantly dispatched poor Stoughton, the devoted victim of his sanguinary disposition. This melancholy event occurring in the most public street, and mid-day, was observed by numerous passers-by, whose testimony and corroborating evidence authorized the Coroner's Inquest, with- out hesitation or doubt, to return a verdict of Wilful Murder against Goodwin, perfectly satis- factory to the public at large ; — ** But gold from law, it takfs out the sting." For would it be supposed a Grand Jury, under fl i0i n THE WANDERER such cironmstances — that is, if they had things called consciences — conld reject such irrefragable evidence, and call it Manslaughter! and finally smuggle and compromise the business over a segar and a bpoze of gin toddy, at Judge Spencer^s lodgings! — Thy potent charm, mighty Mexican Ore, has wonderful influence over American in- tegrity. i ( w amimca; fS ngs able ally 3gar «r's ican in- CHAP. IX. ^< « »#» » < ( " Eye Nature's walks^-^oot Folly as it flies*" Waiting for a ship, I had leisure to transfer from the daily ledger of tnemoryf to paper^ any circnm* stance of moment, or singular for its eccentricity.— Travellers often apologize for not seeing this or that, as it was inconvenient, and they postponed it until an opportunity '* not to be found in the hoary register of Time.^' America, unlike Europe and Asia, aflfords but little to gratify the philosopher, or the man of taste ; but the humorist, or military character, may find a wide and ample fieM to indulge whim or profes* sional remarks ; and I am incli!ned to think, the dangers of an Atlantic trip would be amply remu- nerated to such by attending the muster of avolun* teer corps : for myself 1 declare, that in the whole course of my existence, I never enjoyed the chuckle 60 much as upon these occasions, and no occunrem;e G w I, ti Ml 74 THE WANDERER in the whole range of human life, public or private events, can furnish matter for the Comic Muse in so ample and luxurious a degree as one of these motley exhibitions. I know not exactly the troops the gallant Falstaff refused to march through Coventry with, or his cogent reasons for feeling a kind of shyness his honorable command imposed on him ; — but if Mr. President would dub me Generalissimo, I should certainly decline, upon my friend Falsiaff's prin- ciple — ** if my troops are not ashamed of me, I am of them,'*'' — CEconomy leads them to the parade, habited in their ordinary clothing, and no military appendage except with those called Officers, dis- tinguished by a tremendous cocked hat, a gallant streamer, a yard long, in the shape of a red featiier, red sheep-skin sword belt, a dirty shirt, obtruding on public notice through the apertures of coats and pantaloons, rendered porous and tender by the hand of time, boots or shoes, (strangers to the black art, or the lustre of those shining characters. Day, Martin, Warren, Turner, and Healy)and the frequent orifice in their impaired understandings, seemed to require the cobbler^s skill, to guarantee those useful orna- inents called toes. — On one occasion, in an idle mood, I dissipated two hours in witnessing the evolutions of these champions of Revolutions, and (( 1^ I 111 IN AMERICA* 75 it was a treat that neither Butler or Colman ever dreamed of; nor can the variety of incident, both in town and country, that befel Dr. Syntax, find its [Kirallel. The Commanding Officer, a Major ^ (Inot the in< vincible Sturgeon) put them through their tactics. He wore on that occasion a remarkably long face, and like the whole collectively, it seemed sometime since it came in contact with soap, towel, and water. I enquired bis name and profession, (civil) and a singular coincidence presented itself in the reply ; for know, O Reader! he was a manufacturer of tripe /—After an expiration of about one hour only beyond the appointed time for assembling a corps of five hundred, the collection ran thus : — 1 Major — 1 Captain — Lieutenants, (none) — Ensigns, 1— Ser- jeants, 1 — Corporals, 2 — Bugles, (none) — reported drunk-^R&nkaad File, 26. — Major Tripe — " Come, Gentlemen, put down your kumberellers, and let^s begin; we won't stop long, I guess — Tenshun — shoulder fullock — fix bagganul, — [" ThaVs wrong, Major,*'' was sung from the formidable line.] — " Wrong! wrong! — be d d if it is;— Steuben has it so in his printed mennuvers; let^ssee^^-— [Hauh out the book.] — " I am wrong, or Steubens not reet ; well, come, now then, put down your fcllucks, and fix bagganuts — now, Gentlemen, make f6 THK WAKDBRBR Nudy—piurjem^.**— [Again interrupted from the vnks, ** ff> are tuft prime ttr loaded. Major,'*'' \-^ ** That's true, but I calculated you whb ; well, now then, suppose you load, like by motion; — make feady, and ground feUucke ;— -now. Gentlemen, U*C)i have a glass a piece/* — A shower of rain, and the complimentary astonishment of the guiiant com- mander on the improvement of the corp»y closed the arduous service of this memorable day. — But if Achilles honored not by his patronage these heroeSy stern Ferocity had no share in the good-humoured assemblage, Wk. o are there the only soldiery to whom the people^s demands or wrongs are intrusted, not to such sanguinary demons as Colonel Kino. • An enquiry of marked atrocity occupied a por- tion of the labours of Congress this Session, rela- tive to this modern Pizarro, who, while command- ing a body of troops opposite the Spanish frontier, was accused of unauthorized murder; because, without, the shadow or form of a Court Martial, (shooting deserters) the investigation clearly proved the charge, and such was severely censured without the walls^of this Sanctum Sanctorum of national justice, and a paucity of members within; but a majority, equally as ferocious as the savage delin- quent, ousted the business, by Aumane/^ observing — ** If we give Kino bis due. We most BANtt Kino Jackson too.** ' !. P nt AMKRICA, tr Come forth, then, King^ or General Jackson^ tenowned Hannibal of the New VVurld, as I nteua to deliver a lecturtf on yoar bead and heart ; aye, and shame them too^ if vicious habits have not made them calloos-proof and bulwark against truth* This modern Dftro, it is said, when yet an in&nt in the cradle, discovered tranecendant talent in the science of butchery, (sweet innocent babe !j by fiut terminating within his protty and ^en\ie grasp ail ihejiiet and spidert ; — boyhood advancing, be cried *^ havoc 1"^ and waged war and desolation agaiost all dogs, cats, pigs, and poultry^ We next find him, by the p:. vet of intrigue, a Judge, ol the Supreme Court ; and it is a compliment due te forest finger-posts to eternal happiness ,• their func- tions gain them admittance, and then their oracles, gloomy predictions, and fnvorite theme, everlasting woe, yields eatables, drinkables, wearables, and pocketables: this is not a tale of falsehood, told of the other side the Atlantic ; poor Indians have thus been imposed on, and thus it is these divine tinkers generally return loaded with precious doubloons, * My Reverend Friend, by a kind of indication of future reward, produced a wonderful syaipufbeticaffi-ction between Godliness and Mammon, by coining thus pluinly to the point : — " My lads and lasses, [ have rare news to tell ye — the Lord has opened a bank, and ye mi;n posit BRiiSs here." H 11 96 THE WANDERER mt Bfes !^ eagles, half eagles, joes, and dollars. A sottish creature of this description returned with us, and he had as much gold and silver as would nearly have fillid hi if hut; — tipsy every day, blessed with an un- ooK' >^on share of ignorance, cabin passengers, him aiiu i) s wife, a lady fond too of the brandy bottle, im abi ndance of liquors — the gratitude of 6Wi>t5«^r«,* iHl t»! ' ^ at the ex pence of enthu&iat^ni — quite ^jleasant : and : this righteous man returned from the Ber- mudas without dl\ine permission from the Hatton Garden Committee, he expected a reprimand ; but he consoled himself with a sanctified shrug, by ob- serving, ** Ihank God, he^could now do witht^ut preiiching ;" bat to conclude these observations, it is simply my opinion, (but I do not wish to disse- minate such as a public doctrine — far from it), but if Divine Wisdom required the whole human family to become enlightened, he would not need such agency ; — but 1 have my doubts whether the hom- age of these '^ heathens,'' as tliey are culled, is not equally sincere, and equaUj acceptable at the throne of mercy— ** Ln! the poor Indian, nvhose untutored mind Scvs God ii) clouds, or bears hioi lo the wind.'* The Indians, that is the wandering tribes, are accused of piltering ; but any calumny is heaped upon them, lo sura up their character in a few {-■ ;S m AMERICA. gH )ttigh and have un- him jottle. iers. words, they are faithful, brave, and courageous^ afiectionate friends, and open enemies. The children of bondage, the dnsky sons of Africa, are compared with these rangers of the wilderness — the very extreme of human degrada- tion. I have little to oiier you, my sable brethren, but sad reflection, and my whole stock of sym- pathy ;— if, like an angel, trumpet-tongued, I coold, I would sound an alarm in the souls of yoar tyr nts, and the steeled hearts of vour task^masters. No more, your averted eye, glistening with tears of bloody torture, wrung from your hearths core by the lash and scourge of barbarous rulers — should shun, should hate Christian white man ! Hear me, ye iti-fated creatures of American bought and sold fraific,— weep not ; rather, in the convulsive agony of your deep-rooted sorrows, laugh in your chains, that the stripes and indignant afflictions you en- dure, curses the land with ugliness ; bear up but a little while, anJ your great Father beyond the moon will tiike you to jour happy, immortal race! — The Americans will tell you, the African niggers have no talent or capiiCity ;^ — the French amiable !l 'ii • T'«f* H iyt. an State P.ipprs t)rp:the more exalt^i) geittu mr, Is t'laii are to beton d \u tlv official ducumeiitsemuQiitiiig frum any Cabinet iu Mudero Europe. « i88 THE WANDERER 'M philosopher, Montesquieu, ably rebots the charge.-— Fie, fie, such are lame apologies for barbarity. '* Have w« not hands, ni^ans, dimensioni, sentes, affec» tioDfl, passiora ? Fed with the aaroe food, hurt with the lame weapons, suhjt^ct to the same diseases, he»led by the snme means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and somoier? if yna prick as, do we not bleed ? If ^on tickle as, do we not luagh ? If yuu poison as, do we not die ?'*•— Sbakspbaks. I am Ko enemy to the luxuries of those zones where the labour of Africans are required, there- lore my morality will be less liable to aninad- yersion ; all this could be obtained by kind tvea^ ttent, periods of servitude, and freedom. — It watf, wad is, generally understood in £urope, ih&i the American Government had determined gradually to abolish slavery, agreeable to the wishes of all ^ood men; now let ns mark the fallacy of such |>romige to mankind. The business or question the most interesting this Session of Congress, ( 1 820) was relative to the State of Missouri being admitted into the Union free and unshackled, or loaded with the stigma and indelible stain of slavery ? — Argu- ment in favor of national faith, advocated by a feeling and noble minority, kicked the beam; while a great majority, clad in cruelty, oppression, and injustice, in triumphant exultation, laughed at the Reformers, as they termenl thom; — and, strange to tell, a great part of such majority were members IN AMERICA. 89 from the Free States, enjoying: the full blesslnj^ of liberty. — QueBre, Does such decision bespeak despo- tism or republicanism, as the first article of their boasted Charter of Independence runs thus: — ** God created all menfreey i:m I am aware my remarks on Slavery will expose me to the censure of its advocates, as such terms part of the political fabric of America; if so un- lucky, my answer is briefly this : — I have a right, and a holy one, to develolpe a thrice-told tale — a blot on the name of man, nor would I willing^ly retract a single iota ; and I am confident, the (cood part of the American people — the steady and mtjral Pensylvanians, the well-disposed of the Eastern and Middle States, will honor me with their full concession of opinion. But to America belon^rs a gem richer far than any in the diadem of any monarch upon earth, and while such is a splendid exhibition of humanity, demands the admiration of all mankind. Vice is a rank weed of every soil — a kind of innate scourge -since those days of bliss when angrels dwelt, and God himself with man. — The punishment of deuth, in the American Penal Code, is seldom resorted to a a sanguinary visitation ; — murder^ piracy, arsoity H2 90 THE WiNDERER maiUrchhery^ and some part of that Act called *'^ Lord Ellenborough^s,^^ are considered heinous crimes, and the perpetrators generally suffer an ignominious death. ; f If M If memory be correct, 1 think that lamented excellent character, poor Sir Samuel Romilly, ever prone to lighten the burthen of human woe, at- tempted a repeal of many of our stern statutes, and stated upwards of one hundred and eighty crimes on which the sentence of death on human depravity takes place, li is not a nominal twentv-shillinff scrap of paper, of no intrinsic value — at best but a promissory obligation to meet public confidence — that consigns to eternity our American fellow-crea> tures, and in many cases as really implies forgery^ extremely doubtful ; — strange this in a land first in the list of nations, and boasted innumerable insti* tutions !--i-'I he contemplative Englishman would ask the (]^uestion, *^ Why has our mitred and ermine- robed Legislation sufiered the last, the youngest people, to pluck from the brow and front of majesty itself a nobler prize than Agincourt, Cressy, Blen- heim, Trafalgar, or Waterloo could bestow — that is, to transform vice iuio virtue?'''' — The cold moralist in reply, will say, \such laws are essential, are in- dispensable. His answer would be etj^ually correct IN AM F.RICA. 91 to say, our people are worse.* But his feelinsfs I envy not, and on the practice of Columbians milder laws, shame his frigid apathy. Vice, in many cases in America, is really converted into pub good, and in all cases reformed, by the followin excellent system of prison discipline: — The various periods of imprisonment (as none are exiled) are rendered useful to the offender, and a kind of atone- ment to an injured public. Every male prisoner, if ignorant of all, is bound to learn some trude or oc- cupation ; the females, knitting, sewing, spinning . their state prisons thus exhibiting the most common and useful trades, resemble more a thriving com- munity, than an assemblage of delinquents ; clean- liness is enforced with Mussulman rigour and cus- tom ; order and decorum is rigidly attended to, and a total prdiibition of indolence, proianenesss and irr^ularity ; and the mild and friendly admonitions of sympathizing clerg^^men. and serious religious and benevolent visitors, render a willing obedience to such regimen manifest by these gentle means of .tenderness and compassion, as coercion is never re- sorted to ; — the Gk£at Edifice is reared and con- Ijil! * The Americans often mak-' use of a sarcasm, which, I am afraid, contains too much severe truth : — *' Great BriUiin guve us a shabby population to begin with, and she yet contiaaes her rascally donation." --i IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 I.I 11.25 t ^m I 2.5 ^«.l 2.2 Illllii. 1.4 III 1.6 V] <^ >^ ? Photographic Sdences Corporation ■SJ \ (V >k\ <> '^ 6^ 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716)872-4503 L ^ ^ \ c 92 THE WANDERER secreted to the whole celestial Hierarchy. — Each prisoner is charged nine-pence per day for provi- sions, which are of the best quality, and a regular account is kept between him and the Governor of the Prison, as debtor and creditor — the Governor receiving all for work done by each respective pri- soner, and any surplus in the prisoner's favor, is from time to time accounted for, until the final ex- piration of his sentence, when not unfrequently he receives one hundred dollars at the period of his emancipation, and master of a good trade ; — thus led from the path of vice, he assumes respectable citizenship, and is seldom known to return. Again, if a prisoner's conduct appear repentant and ex- emplary, a simple memorial or intercession is made to the authorized power, and liberation immediately granted — long before the expirati!>n of the sentenced period. The public Finances, by so excellent a plan of genuine philanthropy , are not embarrassed with expences ; but vice reclaims itself, at the ex- pence of industry ; and such mercy, like the dew of Heaven, becomes doubly blessed — He that givet^ and he that receives. < 98 ) APPENDIX. ■ «*»♦» > »♦# Now 88 the hoar of fittal ieparation is about to tak« place between me, the United States, and its people, I sfaalft attenpt a kind of tatpossibility-^tfaat is, H character of a oomiBUnity who have not yet ob* tained any, and shaU add such genentl ililbnnatioB, foiuidHl npon actual personal information, tliat is most essential to be understood, and compatible with my promise and wishes; and such, 1 hope, will •impart advice on the principal object, and lead to a correct decision. To emigrate, or not to emigrate — that is the question; — and who, and what trades or occupy* tions are the most eligible, and other misceilaneous remarks connected. After the successive visits of Columbus, Ameri- caniifi, and the CaintUy a ieii|;ious sect crossed the ni' '■ } ' 94 APPENDIX. Atlantic, and were followed by a lac^ of criminals, vulgarly called tran«;)orf«— men of taste and science, whosefingering propensitiesgave them sweet powers, far beyond the tabled talent of Master Orphfus ; prodigies in the region of harmony, they rejected the dulcet notes drawn from the fretted chords — Oh wondrous eenius ! and in ravishing strains upon the ankled manacles^ melted the very soul of every sea-god and wood-demon to pity, by — ** Hope told a flattering Tale,** Aud ** Fare tbee well, Maucheiter.** fint a sointion of their pedigrees is too complex- more difficult to ascertain than fVelch progenitor* ship, which precedes Adam, or the stable consan- guinity of Eclipse, Hambletimiauy Sir Joshua, Dutchess, Joan of Arc^ or Miss Bailey, Europe, from war changes uid Revolutions, be- came embarrassed in taxation and debt ; such cir- cumstances naturally created a desire to seek eman- cipation, and the American Quarter of the Globe held out the most flattering invitationt-, though in fieu;t there was no other asylum ; and many adven- turers, who sought that country, from ten to forty years ago, became succi ssful, and they or their descendants are now in competent circumstances. Since that period, she has rapidly increased in po- r ^ ilPPRNDlX. 96 pulation, imposts and taxes, and decreased in com- merce. Her Government first demands notice; for if not the best, it is certainly tiie clieupest upon earth. I'he elective right rests with the people, as respects its executive ; literuily the whole body politic emanates from public choice, but compara- tively small as is the patronage of that Govern- ment, power and corruption guide that choice; still, as the period oi oftice is of so short duration, the influence of those evils are less hostile to the present invulnerable iabric of the Constitution. !|i The Americans are not a yielding passive race of contented plodders, to innovating power and cur- tailed liberty, nor suffer Mr. President to iufli4.t deadly wounds on public morals ; but like judicious and wary paymasters, see the work properly per- fbrmod, and, as they are tenacious, guard against any encroachment ; thus that source, from whence springs authority, becomes a barrier or equilibrium between the rulers and the ruled.^ — Qualitications for President, Vice-President, Senators, Repre- sentatives, &c, are — first, capacity, then, possetsors of certain property to different amounts, citizen- ship, age, <&c. &c. — The Coiistitutiuns of JNew Hampshire, Massachusetis, Verinout, New Jersey, Pensylvania, and the Carolinas, require a profession of a belief in Christianity, and several of them 98: jatvEWfs, limit the tpwiw of M to AroteitaBiina ; an' aol o£ the Virginia A«M$mbiy requiree a belief of thO' Trinity in unity. By the Constitution of Connect tiout. all freemen «ure eligible ia all offices; and' the Western States only require the people^s ohoiioe. Religion is- as free as the air they breathe, that is, all modes of worship are tolerated without prejudice to the> respective votaries, and as every flock keep» its own shepherd, their churches and chapels are * distinguished and known by the names of the re- spective preachers, and as they can remove their pastors, their Temples often change their title; — the most prevalent and successful are the doctrines of the Unitarians, Universalilits, and sour, unkind, uncompromising Galvanisms-enemy to health and' all social, enjoymelit^ Omnipotrncb gave not to man moral propensities to condemn him to eternal miseiy ! — Perish the thought ! These charitable Elect, in tho greater part of New England, exclude all rational amusement— the fine arts, and even music ;-— thus St. Geoiiia is condemned as a piano* forte playing hussey, and King David a mere haUad'Singet ! The solemniaition of marriage is seldom consum- mated in any- place of worship, but is considered l^gal, if performed in any private house or tavern, ii^ENDIX. 97 fay a Clqoire or Magistrate,* wbo simplj demands whether the party are free, able, and willing, and then pronouuoes bis rivetting official injunction; that is, to increase, multiply, and replenish the earth, for which he receives a fee, according to the circumstiuiGes of the happy pair. Baptism is rarely resorted to as a Christian form; thus it is as parents name their offipring as they think proper, we meet so many out-of-the-way names in America, that could not be found even on Mount Olympus on a grand gala day. Cheerfully willing to honor truth with real respect, I concede to the Americans a greater por- tion of external moral principle than is to be found among our lower orders of the community ; their taciturnity I have complained of, but if they are not * One of these dif^nified gentlemen 1 met with in the State of Nt'w Jersey, whose moltifarioos occupations I thoaght an improvement on the industrious ps a Representative for theConnty— a Militia Colonel—- a MngiotDte — Pogtmrnster of the District— Cillrctor of the State T.iXfs — and chief Boniface of the iieighbourhood, t^ whirh. upon this occasion, h** added a faithful re|>resei>tatioa of 8«M« in ** Raising the Wind/* by ho loriitg us at break- fast with the patroobge and superintendence of the— tea-put. 1 9S iPPENDTX. ioqnaoioas, they are not rade, nor in their con- ▼ensation and monnere disfiruBtihg. How far the historic placidity of character exists amon^t the GentooB of the East, or onr more imnK'diate iieighloars, the Swiss, (a sabject that has attracted the notice of many a muse in poetic son^> I know not; but in America 1 observed an invariable de- viation from those rude manners and habits of profane and uncalled-for swearing and obscenity, 8o frequent and painful in our public streets, and even polluting our village scenes. Public boast often becomes a dreadful satirist, and no where more than in the United States. In their newspapers you are frequently told of Repub- lican gratitude, and such is explained by a public dinner—one given here to General this, and another there, to Commodore that; but the less yon say, JonaUian, of gratitude, the less you will outrage truth, and court derision. — Where are the lemainaof your WiiSHiNGTON and his colleagues? Where the recently-consigned dust of your brave Perky, your naval hero, the first American who ever foiled the English in squadron? — and now a living ruins gives the lie to your presumption. — The venerable Trumbull, whose meridian days were spent in your service, as an upright and in- flexible Judge, and whose Poem of *'*' M'FingaU*'^ APPSNDW. 99 y«M9 loudly aoknovledge, in Um days of your IU« volution imparted non» beneftl Ibwi liioarandi of fiflet in aid of Umit vomonifaAe event ;— now, Jonailuui, tkat jadge and that aothoiy at tbe age of 70, is oMi|{ed to piiUiih for s^bautoniea m» BMntal prodaotions! Tbe Amerieana aie an enterpriiing people^ activf wod in4a8trioas» temiirkably subtle, and possess f .drnl of wl^at is called fotethoagbt, or look b^orf ystt /«aj»i 99A if by any sehema of shufQiog decep* tioa they oan lob yoa of a dollar, it ia a feather in t|be cap of geniiia of iporfl^ honor to the (&i^, thaa two dollars obtained by laudabie industry v «nd sucli lUMfery confers on them the euviUfbl$ lUituictioa of ^mattjiellomsif and. wi(k awukt, . Well-edacated lov^ and medical gentlemen wooU i^nd no» advantage or satisfaction by a change^ be^ cause every Hog presumes to explain Bacon ; and any basilicon buck may ui$urp M.D. or A.S.S. The Fine Arts, or scientific men, are not much in re- quest ; they want no Wests^ Moki^lanDs, or Srafifis ; such htxtthes are not coBiiistent with American taste, because inconvenient to American pockets. The caricatures of Trsq or Fores are preferred and held in high estimation ; two shillings will make any purchase, and. the subjects being' ido ilk>PKNDIX. generally national embarrasBmento, or peraonal bqk<' lesques in liigh life, are considered charming by Jonathan, who delights to laugh at poor Lrother John^s mishaps, or the Jaux-paux of any of his nephews or nieces, John^s children.— Mechanics of every dcKjription, (smiths, carpenters, wheelwrights and millwrights excepted) had, in my opinion, foonded on observation and sad complaint, better stuy at home ; the Americans are not an ignorant race of nncnltivated beings— look at their naval architecture, the most beautiful symmetry of itf kind, as a specimen. The above excepted trades will always meet employ and great wages, because of the continual erection of towns. Such in Upper Canada, or if political prejudices exclude from there, 1 would recommend the opposite side — the western part of the State of New York. I certainly do recommend that part of the American Continent, because it is the most healthy— no trifling con- sideration; — •» A bold peasnntry ii its country's pride.** If such a man could, by balloon conveyance^ find himself and half a score stout sons in Canada, £50 in his pocket, a good stock of health and strength, and his happy soul feels no regret, who could hum ^' God Save the Mingj''* as an axe stimulant, or whistle ** Bob and Joan^^ as a sji/ade accompailie- AWEKDIX, 101 nent-^llMit is the laaii; bot what can I ny to the Briiij»h fiurner ? Uore 1 am perfikexed ; beoanse at tbo priiseiit time it is veiy onlavonible against Amerioa, consequently no jpst criterion exists, as the low price of produce in Enn^land seriously af- fects the American markets. If a farmer decide* on the change, I still will say Canada, or opposite* If he goes to the east, he will there find in the Yankee character, combined, the tolerable mechanic^ the fisherman, and the fiurmer— men who can navi- gate the globe in a bathing tab, or search the womb of horrible Vesovins, when a dollar is to be obtained. If he goes to the South, he finds a few rich planters, and a miferoble black population, in bondage — a fevered, unhealthy climate, and a system of agri- culture he knows nothing about. If he goes to the We&tward, led by Mr. Birkbeck^s criminal de- lusion — mark the diiRculties. — On the fiirmer^s fending either at New York. Philadelphia, Alex- andria, or Baltimore, one thousand guineas, and no less sum, would be indispensible. and one ton of bark, half a ton of calomel, one hogshead of castor oil, and fifty gallons of laudanum. The distance to the domain of this Surrey^ and T may add, torry blades from any of the above ports, is at least twelve hundred miles, and 700 from market — New Orleans. Arrived in this Western Paradise, through difficulties of which he has no conception^ !i I )02 iPPBNDlX. he builds, and p/an^« (after hii Midaa-hlened pnr- ohnse has taken place) oowt, pigs, horses, Ac- Money by this time is gone ; in the course of two or three years he may have produce for roarlcet ; he sends such to an agent, or consignee — is he paid in cash P— No. How then? Why barter. Thus it is he gets no money, and as they say, he wants no . money. 1'he implements or medical working tools 1 have prescribed, cannot be omitted, as agues and bilious fevers, i&c. are certain, and often certain death too ; and it would be desirable a former, pre- vious to his Illinois visit, should study pharmacy and phlebotomy. Such remarks I have heard made in a similar manner, by very respectable Americans. I therefore resign Mr. fiirkbeck up to public opinion. • In the Western States, (Virginia, Georgia, &c.) (hey have a savage custom of ** gouging ;" that is, for any trifling oflence, they will not resent it in a plain and manly manner, but the wretched victim is waylaid, and the knuckles are forced into the sockets of the eyes ! — thus the blessed orb of light is for ever removed and extinguished. Provisions of all kinds are much cheaper than in England ; spirits, wine, Ac. and clothes, furni- ture, <&c. equally as ciiea^i ; hoube-rent in the large ilPPRNDIX. i08 towni ii very hi^h, as also firinff ; taxeg are not worth a consideration. Some articles I have ob- served, that is meat, is far inferior to ours ; as beef, mutton, lamb, veal, Ac. ; the oxen are, by labour and neffleot, brought to mere skin and bone, then prepared for marlcet, by the application of Indian corn, which (being of an oily nature) hastily loads them with fat ; the meat looks uncommonly fine, ihu8 fed^ but in the cooking one half is waste, the other sinew and gristle ; mutton, &c. becomes dry and insipid ; but pigs and poultry it suits, and they are indeed luxuries. The State of Ohio has been pointed out by such writers, (or rather literary pirates, as Mr. Palmer) as a pecuiiarly favored portion of the American Continent, because of the great advantages arising from the prairies^ (us they are termed) which means an extensive boundary of land, without timber-^a sort of marshy plain. Now in order that we come to something like correct demonstration, by the power of ratiocination, let us inquire and consider how far such rt^commendation to Europeans, (ex- pres&ly Englishmen) accords with humanity, or tautiimount with policy, compared with the other divisions of the Union, or Canada. Those /iraiVze^, being swampy, or in plain English, I9< .iPPENDIX. boggy land, exhale agaeii and feveirs innaDienUe^ and such are ntther formidable and Unprofitable a0» soGiates; and this seawning, (as it is very properly termed by the Americans) is a kind of hiiiiton oideal (onavoidable), and nioh phtguei aie iuflepamble in all the Western States. The great distance from markets, and no pop»< kition to cause a consumption at hoiie, keeps pro- duce low, and co*>8equently brmers low too. A» a proof of my statements, the cattle jobbers ironi New York, Philadelphia, Charleston, and Balti-^ more, though great the distance, (600 miles and upwards) find it a profitable speculation to make their purchas^B in the State of Ohio, &o, &c. ; and other productions, such as grain, &c, must find those markets by river conveyance, which expence naturally falls on the articles and tbe returned barter to the farmer, such as groceries, liquors, wearing apparel, ^c. becomes increased in price to hira,^ because of carriage expences. The great distance from market is a serious draw-back and inconvenir ence ; such is tbe case in Upper Canada, and in every part such difficulty exists, in proportion to the distance from large towns. Though Canada has a superior advantage over the Western country^ her inhabitants are settled on or near the banks of ker great and navigable lakes and rivers^ the same APPENDIX. tol observation is applicable io her opposite neJgliboim, the American^ who occupy in like manner. I will now, in a concise mapner, recapilalate the principal heads and observations most essential, and finally point out the most convenient ports for em- barkation. — The British emigrant has to enconnter heavy expences and perils — as a single plank is the only separation between the inmates of a ship and eternity! His constitution has to contend with a change of climate, from an unequalled one like that of Great Britain — take it for all in all — to a health-withering hemisphere ; the fluctuaticn <^ our atmosphere is nothing compared to that of America* On the iOth of January, 1817, the peach and orange trees in the neighbourhood of Charleston were in blossom and iiearing ; and on the 18th, the crew of a schooner on Lake Poncharchain, in the Siime district, were frozen to death ! — Jn tlie month of February, 1 820, i was mid-leg in t»now, and over- head fevered with a burning sun! — Hence it is a climate so oppressed with terrible extremes, roalies mere thread-papers of the living; and the pale Ser- jeant Death is seldom in that country disposed to joke or grant indulgences, by giving warning — but ^^^.^^weeps off regiments, often well in the morninsf, and in the grave at night! — (according to law )— In the summer of 1819, a cargo of emigrants from m APPFNOIX. Belfitft,. (97 in iiamber> landed at New Orlem ii| good health, and in five daya the whole were con* signed to *" that bourne from whence no traveller feturnar* Ag;ain» the emigrant has to contend with % shrewd, knavish peo}ile, whose customs, manners and habits are inimical to his own, and at the prer fent tine a peojple whose j^imiary affiiirs, com^ meroe, ^c. are m much, and moce embarrassed, (aoi*o(duiig to their poverty aad resonrces), as any people in Earope : for in the State of New Yofl| alone there have ht^n more Sberiib* Sales for taxes (few and so little oppressive as they are) within th^ last twelve months, and twice the wiBi^r of bank^ foptiarmers; and I am convinced^ no change fof the better can take pkice in Amerk», unless ^ &inine should desolate £urope, and America should be blessed with abundance,, or a war for twenty-fiv<9 years should again ravage Europe^ and America again become a profiting spectatot and common carrier to half the globe !^ such things are not im^ p^jssible, but rather improbable — unless, I repeat^ Jonathan can, from such causes, laugh in his sleeve, and again ridicule his brother John, as confending[ for the bone, while he runs away with the bette| part America cannot entertain hopes respecting general improvement ; mauyliujtttres they cannot APMtimnr. lot ^MaMisht they want cApifaU and what 1« a ^r^^ter obeitaole, they wunt the permission of. the Southern phinters, who, as we say, rule the roast ; for planters, merchants and sbip-OHners are swayed by one tnotive, and such form LegisUtors. The laws of Canada are extremely nild and indul- gent, as are those of Pensyivania, whosr* inhabit- ants are chiefly Quakers and Germans; and the land of the two divisions, and I may add, the State of New York is equal to any in the country, and Other local circumstances are of supf*rior advantage; the compensation to mechanics and labourers, of bourse, will vary according to the demand for them in ditTerent States. — Thus have I oarefuUy endea* voured to render every information ; but it is in^ possible to positively impose this place or that) because I am sensible, let the emigrant's pursuit be what it may, his choice becomes bewildered on his arrival ; for one will point out the State of Missouri —another Massachusets, the almost extreme bounda- ries east and west These pages T have not swelled or augmented by a prolix detail of pointing out distances from place to place — as there stands a tree, or here runs a stream, which 1 considered unnecei^sary, and in- deed useless. If, therefore, such remarks should i \ 108 APPENDIX. be Gonsidered worthy of adoption, to rematn ai kome^ I have conscientiously, in an unprejadiced ^ manner, gained my purpose. On the reverse, should a transportation be decided on, I hope I have offered some means of defence and caution ; and I sincerely wish those a safe passage, and the blessings of health, peace, and plenty. And now to my distinguished friends, who kindly honored me with their fostering patronage as sufi- SCRIBRR8, I once more appeal ; — I am aware a bar> renness of intellect, as well as the cold hand of peif ury, will appear on the feature of these pages ; yet poor as I am, 1 am still rich in thanks. I humbly, therefore, intreat, (though last, not least) they will deign to accept the permanent and un- feigned gratitude of their Obedient, devoted Servant, THE AUTHOR. so CO w: ri( di tl b( fi S V I 1 )mafn ai ejadiced reverse, hope I ition; land the ) kindly as SUB- 'eafaar. hand of > pages; nlcs. I >t ieast) md an- APPENDIX. 109 CONCLUSION. ii'-Jiiitrii' Probably the freedom of my remarks respecting some of the American leading characters, may be considered libellous ; but, I jMresame, the following will protect me from the Philistine grasp of Ame- rican ex^offieio obtriiision.^— I have observe, that disaffection was thundered from the pulpit daring the late ^^ in America ; now as I do not wish to be condennKl as a prejudiced aspersor, I respect- fully sabmit the following quotations from difibrent Sermons daring the war period ; — such language would with us have been prononnced, at least, if not treason, sedition ; yet there sack was not noticed: — *' If you do not wish to become the slave* of those who own slaves, and who are themselves the slives of French slaves, you must, in the language of the day, cut the con- nection,** &c. — [Sermon by the Rev. F. Gardiner, Boston, preached July 23, 1812. According to tLe Rev. Dr. Osgood — •* Whoever assisted the Government in any way to carry on the war, wus, in the sight of God, and bis law, a mur« derer."— [Sermon, June 27, 1812. K 110 ^ppfitox. " Werp not (he anthora of tKi Tne fuf] vi^u of biiii»l«m id ite " How will He „ . . . . , «"e -.r» wbich .„„ airr^i^i?" *'• •'•' '•" "" b«,.s. A character nearly -Were ihey not vprobnie mlods, conceivable that dem. f eiril w.ir ap. «ge of the war rts his Cbiii. i^(o defend .*<»yoBrftrtbefroreii »it>n to fbe an warfare «Vf r burns, eir torment ■«r ■ ■ APPENDIX; PORTS OF EMBARKATION. Ill London and Liverpool are the principal ; but the latter place is infinitely preferable, both in re* speot to ships, and frequency of departure for every American port Having engaged a passage on board one of those horses of the main, you proceed to obtain stores, according to circumstances ; a fre- quent use of rhubarb, or epsom salts, would be found beneficial during the passage. Finally, let me suppos^^e emigirant landed in safety, and in good l|ealu|Pkf such intend to purchase land, to be careful ; in Upper Canada it 4s given conditionally to respectable men, bat b^dantioas in thie States: lert no arrear 6f tok^ hb a kind of heir-lodm, bnd be assured oi a legal title, before you part with a doUar. I em sorry to suggest a rekucation of morality-; but you that go, had better leave the greater part of that article at home in England; — in one brief, emphatic meaning, let greek meet oreek. Ir- revocably fixed in opinion, that such and other pre- cautions I have stated, are indispensible — I am in- clined to admit, that a livelier pen than mine has formed for me an ultimatum— . '< England, with all thy faults, I love thee stilV FINIS. i NORTHALLERTON : PRINTED BY J. LANGDALE. II I i [. ' f Bid ERRATA. » ■ I It J ^ JL PageU, lines, for (2,700) wad (87,000) P/ige 67, Une S, for (canooadrs) read (canfij^') Page 6^, line 10, for (ever haVifag beeaVklised) read (ifver being rfatised) Page 84, line 9, for (baskrU, bate; brobmi, and tff the gra«) , , ^ read (baskeu, bats, brooms, &«• of- ibe grau) Page 84, Uoe 19, for (retrogade) read (letrograde) l\' , ■■-.>'■< ( '.' ■ t liii^ Hsd ei- i U« 4\ IKlised) read , and 6f the graw) tb« srau) irograde) t^