IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) h :/. y. ^ 1.0 !i: i^ liM I.I ■^ 1^ - ^ mils 2^ IAS lilllO 1:25 i 1.4 1.6 V] <^ /i c»^ ^>. '/ Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 iV 2b :\ \ 'q> -o" .^ "< Hi Lord was Jealous^ and Jloe could have over- reached h'm^ /he could, '-This a[5refMble filly Creature ha*^ jufl: as much Scriic, as is necef- fary to amufe hcrfelf, and to pleafe. Miss Annabella^ her Sifter, is a very dif- ferent Creature : Was never out of this magnificent Seat, where Ihe has always lived with her Father only. Her Figure is noble, and interefting, her Air fweet and delicate; fhe has a great deal of Breeding, and more Sentiment. She wants nothing, in fhort, but Knowledge of the World j but if fhe has not all the Graces which that beftows, fhe is free from the Vices to which it leads ; Vices, which, it is fo difficult to avoid in polite Circles, where they have found the contemptible Art of forgiving mutually every Defeft of the Heart. I am always enraged, when I hear this criminal Indul- gence, honoured with the Name of Softnefs of J'« ' cver- le fillv necef- y dif. f this I lived noble, icate ; more % but e has fhe iads ; id in I the ally ays dul- nefs of V2 L E T T E R V. 19 of Manners, Knowledge of Human Nature, and a Condcfcenfion ind'dpcnfable in Socie- ty. O ! this Sir Harry \ «- he is infupport- able \ every thing dilpleafes him, I thought him of a more equal Temper : Peo- ple mufl be very amiable to appear fo to thofe who fee them every Day \ I am out of Patience with him : he advifes me to throw away a Nofegay that Sir 'James has gather- ed himfelf, and hasjuft given mcj Sir Har- ry has not' breathed fince I have had it ; he brings me twenty Examples of IJInefs, oc- cafioned by the too ftrong Perfume of Jon- quills ; he affures me they are very bad for the Head. As I fee his impertinent Jea- loufy, I fhall keep the Nofegay ; I would keep it, if it gave me a thoufand Headachs. I fhall be at IVincheJier To-morrow, I fhall find your Letters there, it is the only Plea- fure I promife myfelf. Adieu! My tenderefl Refpeds to my Lord Cajlle Cary, LET- '■> f I- m SI' i'1 i«.i>; [ 20 ] L E T T i: R VI. Sittidav, Winchester. T RECEIVED your Letters, as foon as I ar- rived here ^ you cannot doubt, my dear Henrietta^ of the fincere Pleafure I ftJt in reading the m. Every Moment of my Life, your Friend (liip has been dear to me : For a long Time my Heart was fatisfied with it: How happy was I then 1 If my Soul is now poffeflld, too feelingly pofleflTed, by lefs vo- luntary, and more tumultuous Sentiment?, believe me, they have not weakened that tender and folid Affedtion, which attaches me to you : The amiable Qualities, which gave Birth to this friendfhip, owe nothing to Illufion •, nor how can either Time or Ab- fence deftroy it ! My LETTER VI. 21 ing My Firmnefs aftonifhes you. Ah! my good God! This Effort, which you ad- mire, would, if I was able to examine it without Pafllon, lofe much of the Value we both fct upon it. What is it that I facri- fice ? Of what Good do I deprive myfelf ? Of the Sweetnefs, perhaps, of being again deceived ! But can I abandon myfelf to this Pleafure, when I have loft that of deceiv- ing myfelf? « You bid me pardon my Lord OJfory^ or think no more of him. Pardon him? Ah! never! think no more of him! I think of him certainly as little as I can j I no longer think of him with Pleafure : I no longer I think of him with Regret; I think of I him — Alas! my Dear! B^caufe it is impof- I fible for me not to think of him. Remem- I brance will not leave usj we fancy we lofe It hw «'• ■ I I MS^' !' '11 I ] I 22 L E T T E R VI. it in the World, but a Moment of Solitude reftores all its Force, which Diflipaiion fcem- ed to have taken away. When alone, that Idea, once fo dear to me, is ever prefent to my Imagination-, I fee again that Form.— How did the Soul, which, I believed, ani- mated that ungrateful Man, embellifli all his Features! What a perfeft Creature did it offer to my Eyes! Ah! why, why has it torn away the amiable Veil which hid his Vices, and his Falfhoodfrom me?-- So much Can- dour in that Countenance, and fo much Per- fidy, fo much Ingratitude, in that Heart I Oh! that he is not as noble, as generous as I believed him ?-— Yes, my greateft Misfor- tune is, being forced to defpife him. Adieu ! my good, my beloved Friend ! I am not in a State to reply to all you afk, — How weak am I ftill! — Ought I to fpeak of him ! — I can fly him, renounce, hate, detefl:him: But to forget him.— Alas! I cannot forget him. LET- i < V. : V'1 Solitude >n fecm- le, that efent to orm.— ci, ani- la]] his 5 did it it torn Vices, hCan- h Per- -leart I ous as lisfor- ^dieu ! not in weak f 23 ] LETTER VII. ff^edne/day, WmcHEsTER • T HAVE this Inftant received a Letter from A n,y Lord c.A.c.^, ,, J,, ,;;;;[ - J'as not communicated to you H ^ ^ -y l^^'ight as a Piece of Female Cu hedoesnotabfoluteJytelfmel "?' " what he Wi ray He Th r ' ' "''^ tencionistomortir/,./;;^'^^^^^^^ h"". to make him miferable and J ,T^ pardon him. The Idea whcj h"t f '° Dengns, does not give I \ ^ °' "'X of the Manner in whchr.w^'' ''^'"'■°" Let this fuffice.iJat'^'r^^'^P-'Jons. forgive him, Hen- i »e tl ' n m i'n i" I ' i H m 24 LETTER VII. Henrietta /—If I could, and had the Cruelty to make him wait for my Forgivenefs, and to play with the Sufpence of a Man, that I meant to make happy, I fliould defpifc myfelf indeed. No, my dear Henrietta^ I will never oblige any one to purchafe a Bene- fit I intend them. Either I know myfelf very ill, or it is not in my Nature to pardon him. I flojDuId promife it in vain. The Sorrows I have felt are for ever engraven on my Me- mory : I am very far from defiring it fhould be in my Power, to inflid an equal Share of Mifery on him : My Hatred is as generous as my Friendfliip was tender: I fhall con- fine its EfFefts to flying the Prefence of the Ingrate. My Lord Cajlle-Cary pretends, that all Refentment ought to yield to a fin- cere Repentance. With my Inferiors, I will f govern myfelf by this Maxim, but never \ with my Friends. But, my Dear, it will not be ufekfs to make a little Remark here. It m i LETTER VII. 25 It is, that Men only eftablifli this Principle, in Hopes to take Advantage of it: Accuftona yourfelf to think, with my Lord Cajlle-Cary^ that Repentance effaces all Faults, and, de- pend on it, he will provide himfelf of fuffi- cient Occafions to repent.-— His Letter dif- pleafcs me, I confefs : I renounce his Appro- bation : It would coft me too dear, if I muft buy it by a Weaknefs, which would degrade me ^n my own Eyes : I have always regard- ed as the greateft of all Misfortunes, the Lofs of one's own good Opinion : One may enjoy the Efteem of others, without deferv- ing it. We may owe it to DifTimulation; but what muft become of our internal Peace, when we can no longer efteem ourfelvcs ? My Lord Cafile-Cary is very Angular to ex- peft I ihould fubmit to his Decifion, an Af- fair of which he knows fo little. Reprimand him, reprimand him heartily, I beg of you. \ ■ B LET- [ 26 ] ■i LETTER VIII, % itlb^- Tuefday^ Winchester. YOU a(k mc, how I fpend my Time^ with whom I am, and who of my pre- fenc Companions are moft agreeable to me. Alas ! I am weary of myfelf ; I am with all the World, and no-body pleafes me enough to engage my Attention. We are here, fif- teen, or fixteen of us from London^ without counting the neighbouring People of Fa- fliion, of whom the Houfe is always full. Tiiis continual Crowd rather diftrads than amules me. ::l^ LcR D IFilton has a violent Paflion for the fine Arts: He has laboured hard ro acquire tliLm, but Nature has denied him the Talents which ♦1 ^If the [uire lents lich i LETTER VIII. 27 which bring them into View, and thatTafte, which only can give them Perfedion. With a ftrong Voice, he fings difagreeably -, and dances with a bad Grace, though induftri- oufly exadl in the Steps. He defigns cor- redly, paints little Screens, which are nei- ther pretty nor ugly, and makes deteflable Verfes with great Facility. Every Day gives Birth to a thoufand Couplets, and Madri- gals, in which Cupid, Venus, Hebe, and Olym-- pus, find themfclves, whether they will or no, at the Feet of the terreftrial Divinities of the Caftle.— You afTume, when you ar- rive, the Name which Rhyme is pleafed to confer on you. As to the reft, my Lord is a worthy Man ; I do not believe he has a Fault, except that of defiring to be what he is not. Born with Simplicity, Courtefy, and a moderate Underftanding, if he had not pretended to Superiority, he had efcaped the Mortification of feeing himfelf ridicu- B 2 lous. m \'-$ If 4 J a hi? t ;E J '■•! i If I'll 11(1 ' It; II 28 LETTER VIII. lous. His Lady. — But Soire body comes. —Who is it ? — Ah ! who can it be but Sir Harry! — . But who has fubjedted me to Sir Harry^s Importunities ? Why muft I fuffer them ? What Right has he to weary me thus? Ah ! my dear Henrietta^ what Ene- my to the Human Race, invented that Falf- hood, which, under the Name of Politenefs, commands our Civilities, and forces us to conftrain ourfelves ? — This troublefome Creature gets Admittance into my Clofet ; infenfibly he gains Ground 5 he is always at niy Side.— He almoft reads what I am writ- ing. — I wifli he read this, to teach him I continue writing on Purpofe. — Sir Harry^ he fo obliging^^^ give me Leave,^^ He bows, fighs, anditays; he ftays indeed. In the Humour I am in, I wifh he would fpeak, that he would tell me, he loves me. — I would give a thoufand Guineas, he would make that i m LETTER VIIL 29 that Confefllon.— Since my ill Scars will fix him here, I muft leave you. rUESDAT NIGHT. As I was going to tell you this Morning, Lady Wilton is very amiable ; (he thinks juftly, behaves with Decorum, and without AfFedtation ; fhe is handfome, well made ; by her Bloom, one would imagine her younger than Lady Elizabeth her Sifter. She loves her Lord, fees his weak Side, never laughs at it herfelf ; and by her ferious Air, prevents others from rallying him. Devout towards God, flie ferves him without Often- tation •, fevere to herfelf, complaifant to her Friends, eafy and gentle to all the World ; (he claims little Attention, but attracts the highelt, and poffeffes the Refpeft and fincere Admiration of all who know her. B3 ,1 ,S j'Tv i b W£ l^ '■ ^r! Ill ?,■'' ' fi i : 1 ■■y m !1« t -i i n n 30 LETTER Vlir. We have here the newCountefs of Rane- lagh^ a little Giddy.-brain, who loves nothing but Noifc and Play j flie is pretty, but with- out Chara6l.fr: How difagreeabie aState! I have obferved, that this Species of People adopt the Faults of every body they con- verfe v/ith. But fhe, who pretends to the Glory of eclipfing all, of conquering all Hearts, is the beautiful Countefs of Southampton ; al- ways lovely, lovely from Morning till Night, ever in the Attitude of fitting for her Pic- ture, fhe thinks of nothing but how to ap- pear mod beautiful, and talks of nothing but the Effe<5ls of her Charms. If any Man addrefTes his Converfation to her, fhe is fo convinced he is going to make hei a Com* pliment,that an Air of Thanks precedes her Attention to what he is to fay. AD our Ladies '»:^ -■*■- j?>: I \ ■ 'I ■••ti «i al^ ap- ling fo iom- her our [dies i LETTER VIII. gr Ladies are buHcd in rallying her; in fpire of every thing they can fay, the Countefs pleafes all Eyes, but, ihe pleafes the Eyes only. We have Sir fFi Hi am Manly ^ gay, agree- able, fimple, plain j a true En^li/hmen^ at- tached to the Manners, to the Laws, to the Cuftoms of his Country. He is of a very ancient Family, but little dlilinguifhed by Court-favour; and, thinks his Birth infi- nitely preferable to new, though higher Titles. PofTefTor of the fined Eftate in the County, he lives in the midft of his Depen- dants, like a tender Father, fu; rounded by his Children, who adore him ; without ever thinkin2 he is above them, except wlien his Superiority can remove their Mireri( s, cr J ) roc u re them any Advantages. In the Comimiffion of the Peace for a l;irge Coun- ty, he has bboured to inftrud himlelf, in B 4 wiiat i! fjlj: 'I 'I If 'I liii *f' I II ■m til w 32 LETTER VIII. what fo many others neglcft, the Duties of this Truft, and joins Knowledge to the moft equitable Integrity. This is a Man, my Dear; ard the only one here, who deferves that Appellation. But the Idol of all our Ladies, is Sydney, the youngefl: of thofe Sydneys you are ac- quainted with: He is a young Baroner, not very rich, but infinitely proud notwithftand- ing \ he is tall, well made, has the fined Hair in the World, admirable Teeth, fome Wir, very little Senfe, and a great deal of trifling Jargon. He knows nothing, talks of ev^y thing, lies with Impudence ; is knowingdn Dogs, Horfes, Baubles, defpifes every body, admires himfelt fincerely, decides without ceafing, tires People of Tafte, fhinesamongft Fools, and paflTes here for a charming Ftl- low : Adieu ! my dearefl Friend I I em- brace my Lord Cafik Cary^ though I do not pardon him. LET- [ 33 ] ■i J' LETTER IX. PVednefday^ Winchester, TH E Y have brought me two of your Letters •, I ought to have received them Yefterday ; I was very uneafy about them : Sir Harry thought they mufl: have been forgot-, he went feven Miles to enquire for them. I believe I have a bad Heart, for ' I am angry at having this Obligation to him. : , U What you tell me of the Rupture be- tween Sir Charles and Lady Selby, appears to me incredible. What ? that Lover, fo paflTionate, who adored her, who could not live without feeing her, and who threatened in his jealous Furies, to ftab himfelf Lefoi-e B -. }>p\ I! ir i [' i:' I Im i\: 34 L E T T E R IX. her Eyes ? He has quitted her, and with that Unconcernednefs, that Eclat, without troubling himfelf either about her, or the World ! — Happy Men ! what Advantage does Difference of Education, Prejudice, and Cuftom, give to that daring Sex, who blufii at nothing, fay and do whatever they pleafe! What Arts will Man not pradlife, when im- pelled by Intereft, or by Pride ! He cringes at our Feet, without being afhamed -, our Scorn does not abafe him, our Difdain can- not repulfe him : Mean when he defires, infolent when he hopes, ungrateful when he' has obtained. Supple, and infinuating Ser- pent •, who, like that in AfJton^ takeft every Form, tricft every Art to engage our At- tention ; and then conveyed thyfelf from the Snare thou haft fpread for us ! — Poor Lady Selhy ! How I pity her ! How bitter is it to be abandoned ! Ah ! my dear Hen- rietta I with what Levity you fpeak of her Situation! i ;., :'r I with thouc r the itage , and blufli eafe ! n im- inges our can- fires, n he' Ser- very At- irom ^oor litter Jen- her ion! L E T T E R IX. 35 Situation ! If you had ever ftlt that tor- menting Mifery. May you never feel it! — I'his Relation has recalled to niy Me- mory thofe Hours, when my erring Hearc ..* But I will think of it no more. Have I told you, that we have here the famous Countefs oi Sunderland^ fo beautiful^ fo indifferent, fo beloved, and fo efteemed, not only in England^ but in the northern Courts, of which fhe was the Admiration ? She is near Forty, and does not appear Thir- ty. I cannot better paint her to you, than by fending you the Copy of a Letter fne wrote to Sir William Manly: He has prefcrv- ed it carefully ever fince he received it,wi-iich is thirteen Years. He has traced the Out- lines of it to me^which has siven me : o' Teat Dcfire to Ice it, and he has promifed me to fend fur the Box in which ic Is kept. This Letter, he fays. perfedly characlerifes rhe B 6 Countefs. "Si i ' I I l*> ■I I! fii 1 * i • % U'. r Hi 36 L E T T E R X. Countefs. He was in Love with her, and cannot fee her even now, without Emotion, He had wrote her a Declaration of Love, and it is her Anfwer to that Dtclaration, which I am to fee. As fcon as I have this wonderful Epiftle, I will communicate it to you. Adieu ! my charmii^g Fiiend. «ril f I ■» I I » ■ 10 leave me in Ig- R. ^'^ L E T T E R X, 3^ norance, whether he is yet in LondoHy whe- ther he intends (laying there, what he is do- ing, whether he endeavours to fee my Lord IJ Qafik-Cary \ this is hard, yes, very hard, indeed. It is fometimes kind to fail a little in complying with one's Requeft. — But, why this vain Curiofity ? have I? — — Peifevcre, — ■—What Intereft .Tell me nothing of him, my Temper is grown very bad, every thing difpleafes me : Sir Harry makes this Place difagrecable to mj ; he befecs me, he fatigues me, wherever I turn I fee only himj he follows me, he meets mc every where. Scarce am I a Moment in my Clofet, before he enters with an Air of feme important Bufinefs : You would fup* pofe, by his Looks, fomething very intereft- ing brought him therej he has nothing to fay to me, but, perhaps, to bid me Good-mor- row. He goes our, he comes back, he fcems difturbed, he takes out of Betty's TTanf-V, ■11 J ■i',1 ¥ 'll" V III'" ''III!': Ifl.S '!lli' 3S L E T T E R X. Hands, whatever flie was going to bring me, diforders my Books, throws them down, afks me for Tea, goes av.ay wiihout drink- ing it; returns to tell me he is ill, over- whelmed with Anguifh, that he is dying. He walks with his Arms acrofs,fighs, groans, does not die, and exhaufts my Patience to that Degree, that I find it difficult to behave to him with Politenefs. How I hate Love ! How I hate all who entertain the cruel De- fign of infpiring me with it ! — Sir James defircs a Moment's Converfation with me : He has formed a Projeft, he fays, which he will fubmit to my Dccifion : He regards me with an Air that — He fpeaks to me with fuch a Tone of Voice — •— Wh u can he have to Tiy to me ? < — 1 have one Obli- gation to Lord OJfcry^ the Remembrance of him will be my PrtTfcrvanvf*, my eter- nal Prefcrvative, agaii (I all his Sex. Who can appear amiable to me, after my Lord OJfory? I. * L E T T E R X. 3^ Ojlory ? Who can infpire me with Confi- dence, when my Lord OJfory has deceived me ? How different are all I fee from him ? But, my Dear, I muft think no more of him. — Alas! how difficult is it to forget him! I ENCLOSE the Letter I promifed you: Sir William has allowed me to take a Copy ; you will have the Goodnefs to fend it me back ? ( A il To Sir Wi L L I A M Ma n l y. Mv Efteem for Sir William Manly en- gages me to explain myfelf to him, with a Freedom, which I fhould, perhaps, difpenfe with myfelf, from ufing to another. You are amiable, well made, modeft ; you ap- pear prudent, and 1 believe you difcreet. So many Perfedlions, if you join Conftancy I to 'I' aV ti y.\ 111 I m wy- i ■r ,-v- 40 L E T T E R X. to them,will render the Woman, who loves you, happy. They would juftify her Choice in her own Eyes, as well as in thcle of others: An uncommon Advantage, which would determine me in your Favour, if Love was a Sentiment to which I chofe to give up my Heart. My Reafons for avoid- ing this Paflion, are not founded on thofe Prejudices, which have for a long Time loft much of their Influence: The prefent Cu- ftom allows me to have a Lover, and, per- haps, I fhould notefteem myfelf lefs, if my Tafte led me to admit one. What I owe to my Lord Sunderland^ would, however, reftrain me, if he had theGenerofiry to think our Promifes were mutual. He negledled me at a Time, when the flighttft Complai- fance would have engaged my moft tender Attachment : I fincerely thank him for leav- ing me to that Indifference, which he de- ferves I Ihould feel for him : It is extreme, he ii\ j^i 'i \i I loves Choice Die of which ur, if ofe to ivoid- thofe le loft itCu- > per- if my owe ever, ;hink aed Inder leav- de- le, he :*1 L E T T E R X. 41 he knows ir, and if I do not give publick Marks of it, it is only from Regard to my- fclf, not thinking it decent to (hew Con- tempt for the Man, whofe Name I bear. Left to my own Reflexions, I have long made it my Employment to confider with a philofophick Attention, the World, the different Seafons of Human Life •, the Du- ration, or, to fpeak with more Propriety, the perpetual Viciffitude, of all fublunary Things. My moft ferious Study has been to examine the Virtues, and the Failings of my own Sex : I have endeavoured to dif- covcr the Guides which are given us, to lead us fafely through the difficult Paths in which we tread. I have feen. Sir William^ that Coquetry jWeaknefs, and Pride, are the Por- tion of both Sexes ; but particularly of my own. To Pride, well unc'erdood, and turn- ed towards its nobleft Objedl, Women owe their I'. '■\\\ I !i.*■, n' '.I I i' u 42 LETTER X. their Virtue. Coquetry, in juil Bounds, makes them agreeable; Weaknels makes fome wretched, and others contemptible. Our Tafle ranks us iiidifpcnfably in one of thefe ClafTes; mine has decided for me, Pride is my Choice. Thofe who efteem nodiing but the frivolous Advantage of be- ing lovely, p.ifs one Part of their Lives, in applauding dicmfclveson their Charms, and the other in lamenting their Lofs. What a ridiculous Part does a Coquet play, wlien flie has no longer thofe Attraftions fhe would ftill be thought to poflefs! Weak Women are to be pitied ; the Senfibility of their Hearts, is a Rock on which their Rea- fon is fhipwrecked : Too often they pre- ferve the Habit of loving, long after they have loft the Power to pleafe : They be- come the Jefl of young Ingrates, who ad- . drefs, deceive, and expofe them topublick Contempt and Infamy. Pride Bounds, Is makes empt:ole. in one of for me, o efteem se of be- J ^ives, in rms, and . What y, wlicn ions fhe Weak bilitv of eir Rea- ley pre- ter they hey be- vho acl- ubHck LETTER X. 43 Pride has none of thefc Inconveniences; fhe enjoys the pafl, the prefent, and the fu- ture ; has always the. fame Pleafure?^, Age cannot dedroy them; ilie loves and admires herfelf for ever. Is one not happier, Sir William^ in indulging a Sentiment, which one is certain, will always be pkafing, than in giving Way to thofe which captivate our Wills, and make our Happinefs depend on the Capri e and Inconftancy of others ? In whatever Light my Choice may appear to you, believe that nothing can make me re- nounce it. If my Friend/hip is dear to you, abandon for ever the ufelefs Defign of trou- bling the Sweetnefs of my Life ; and by a Condu6l conformable to my Principles, ren- der youi:felf worthy of my Confidence, and my Efleem. m i m !ii Pride Behold !'i;i , 44 LETTER X. Behold here a Woman, who is the Ob- ject of univerfal Efteem and Rcfpeft : And wherefore ? Becaufe fhe has loved herfelf, to fuch a Degree, as to leave no room for the Love of any other Being. She has excited the Admiration of all the World, but fhe has made the Happinefs of no body, poffibly, not even of herfelf. To oppofe continually, that tender Inclination, which carries us — To what, my Dear ! To lament one Day, the Lofs of a Bleffing — which one Moment may change into the bittereft Anguifh. Is Tcndcrnefs then fo eftimable ? Are its Plea- fures great enough, to recompen|p the Pangs with which its Lofs overwhelms us ? I know not whether I fee the Countefs's Vir- tues, and her Reafoning, in a juft Light : But, her Clafs of weak Women, feems to me, that of good Hearts. LET- •I .1 [ 45 ] he Ob- : And herfelf, om for excited fhehas Dffibly, nually, s us — e Day, oment n. Is Plea- Pangs ? I Vir- ight: ns to iT- LETTER XI. Friday^ Winchester, HO W 1 my dear Henrietta ! he is gone ! They know not whither ! You fear he is in Fr^//r^.— And why fear it! — Ah! whe- ther he flays, or goes abroad, what is it to me ? — What Intcreft ought I to take in it ? — He is dead to me.— Yet it is fweet, how- ever, to think he lives for no other than my- felf. I AM afflidted, my dear Friend •, I know not what I would have : Difguft and In- fipidity are difFufed around me j the Man- ner of living here wearies me, without dif- fipating my Chagrin. Ruinous Gaming, long m :'!^:i ti:M 1 Is^ I If -\ 1:1 X 1 m M\ 'H V \. '!': mm 46 LETTER XI. long Repafts, a great deal of Mufick, little Rcpofe, continual Noife, none of thofe calm Dili^.hts I promifed myfell in the Country, —You are fure, my Lori OJfory is no longer in lowui yet, if his Family is there,— one vvould fuppofe. — In France? — Why in France? w-Tiie Marchionefs oi Dorchejler^ whom he once loved, is juft gone thither.-— Perhaps, his ;/aI]>>D for her is revived.— Does my Lord Cahl>Cary hide nothing from you! The Manner in which he writes to me, gives me Sufpicions. — Ah! what is all this to n-e? Why do I torment myfelf?— Lady Elizabeth b', gs you will fend her a white Domino, very genteel, that is, very much adorned. Send nie one alfo; let it be, — my God, whatever you pit \fe : It is for a Mafquerade, that myLoni WiAon is to give: One is fatigued wiih Pleafures here. -— To go away wirhour feeing Lord Caftle-Caryy without endeavouring to be acquainted with you, * -^ 1 .4* '^n , little ; calm jntry. onger ire,— 'hy in hejler^ ler.— . ed.^-. 5 from ites to t is all f?~ ler a very It be, for a give: -To with ^ou. I' LETTER XI. 47 you, to fpeak to you, — not to ftrive to find out where I am, to know from myfelf !— Strange, inconceivable Creature ! He ap- peared full of Ardour : He could not live vjithout feeing 7ne again^ without appeafing me, — Ti? recover his Hearty or to die^ laid he to Betty^ the Day that fhe came, all in Tears, to beg I would receive his Vifir, and hear him ! -~ And yet he is gone ! He is gone, my Dear, and has not fcen my Lord Caflle- Cciry. Where-ever he is, I wifh him all the Happinefs I defire for myfelf. But why, ac- cufe me of Cruelty, and reproach me for his Departure? Ah ! my dear Henrietta ! You love Lord Crifiie Cary more than you ima* gine! You adopt his Style, without per- ceiving it. Adieu ! Here is Sir Harry: I am very proper at prefent to corivcrfe with him. ii m' te '.i '/ ili LET- m ii- '^.m % i ^ ^;;iit [ 48 ] !M'i ! X <]...■■ \ ' LETTER XII. Saturday^ Winchester. I AM weary to Death of this Place, my Dear. How do I already regret your Clofet, my own, the Sweetnefs of thofe Converfations which an unbounded Con- fidence rendered fo animated, thofe fimple Amufements, thofe Hours fo ufefully paft in Reading. If Chagrin fometimes broke in upon our Tranquillity, at Jeaft Coldnefs never found a Place in our Hearts : One feems free here, and yet Conftraint is hid under that feeming Liberty : Every one has the Freedom of doinglwhat he will, but not of fpeaking what he thinks. How little Satif- faftion does the great World, that brilliant Society, I 4 n . 1} I I 4 LETTER XIL 49 Society^ called good Company, givetothofe who examine itattentively ! Itis neitherTafte nor the Heart, nor even the Hope r-f"Plca- fure, which draws together thefe faiuaftical Beings, born to poflTefs much, to defire more, and to enjoy nothing. They feek each other, without being impelled by AfFcdionj they meet without being picr/ed, and part with- out Regret. What is it then, which unites them? Equality cf Rank, and of Fortune, Cuftom, WeiJ.rinefsoFthemfclves-, that Ne- cefTity of Diffipation, which they fed perpe- tually, and which feems attached to Grcat- nefs, Riches, and Splendor-, in fhorr, to all thofe Goods, which Hf.^aven has not equally diftributed to all its Creatures. What Bonds, my Dear, and what Friends for a Heart like mine ! Little accuftomed to difguife my Sentiments, what Pleafure can I find amongft thofe to whom 1 cannot C avow H ii i r "'^ 50 LETTER XIII. avow them, without Reicrve? One mufl be in a v^ry happy Situation to amufc one- felf with thofe, for whom one has no Ten- dernefs; but I am too full of Reflexion: I weary you, perhaps. Adieu! in whatever Humour I am, I love you always; yes, with all my Heart, LETTER XIII. Sunday y Winchester, T\V O of your Letters ' — He is not come back. --They know not where he is— One from my Lord Cajllc-Cary— He tells me nothing-, but he chides me, and in a Style, that he would have me take for that of Friendfliip — For that of Reafon— I will cer- tainly anfvver him. He complains to me of the i LETTER XIIL 51 the little Complaifancc you (hew him : Why, my dear Henrietta^ have you not told him what you know of me, what I confented you fliould communicate to him ? Tou zvill not let this Man fee to what an Excefs another has been beloved. The Excufe is dilbbliging; is he then to blame for being angry ? Though he is my moft efteemcd Friend, I have a Kind of Repugnance to confefs to him my Wcaknefs. I will, however, tell him all : he will at leaft be convinced, that thofe Caprices with which our Sex is reproached, have no Share in my Refent- ment. You are not upon good Terms with Sir Harry \ it is a Misfortune I cannot h!dc from you : He aflced me Yeilerday, why you had deferred your Marriage with Lord Cajlle-Cary till Summer: I told him you chofe to wait your Uncle's Return, who wa» to come back at that Time from his Embaf- fy. A Quarter of an Hour after he rc- > t» : Ca pcated I-: 1 ,('!• r • is n !■ ii.|i| Ill' Hffiil^ff I ■f '- I'i j t. i ■Jll 52 LETTER XIII. peated the fame Queftion, and I made him cxaftly the fame Reply. Cruel IVoman^ he exclaimed, to impofe fo hard a Condition I — If I was Caft!e-Cary.— If you were, Sir? faid ly^ I believe.'^ You believe?— I hope your Ladyjhip is not offended, — Butp^iy, ifyou were Cajik-Cary ? — I dare not fpeakj^ — I have the Unhappinefs to difpleafeyou^'—to be trouble- feme toycUy notwithjianding^ Madam, — Upon this he arofe from his Seat, took Heaven to witnefs to I know not what, walked about very faft, began a Converfation with him- felf, and all this with an Air fo gloomy, fo afflifted, fo melancholy.— -And has remain- ed ever fince fo difconcerted --But here he comes more fad, more indifpofcd, more dy- ing, than ever : He brings me Ibme Pamph- lets, I am fure they are worth nothing, even Lefore I fee them. LET- :l f w [ 53 1 «Mi*waMM«a I LETTER XIV. Monday^ Winchest3R. WRITE this Pod to Lord Cajlk-Cary^ and give him that Detail he could not ob- tain from you. His long Friendfhip for my Lord Offory perfuades him, that the Ulagc of which 1 complain, cannot be unpardon- able. I flatter myfelf, he will judge other- wife; he fhail no longer, at leaft, have an Excufe for tiring me with common-place Arguments. To tell you the Truih, my dear Henrietta^ I would on no Account, tiKiS any other Perfon fhoulJ fee this Hillory j itappears to me adifagreeable Circumftance to have one, and if I was to think ferioufly, I fliould probably deflroy this. 1 fpent Fart of the Night in writing it ; I cannot exprefs to C 3 yoa t • < ', *• ^"1 t>. 54 LETTER XIV. you liow much this Employment has difor- dered mc. As foon as Lord Caftk-Cary has read this Pacquet, do me the Favour to burn it. I cannot anfwer your Letter j you were very gay, my Dear, when you wrote it J I am not enough fo at prefent to reply. roLord CASTLE-CARY. '( : ' No, my Lord, I have not that Spirit of Obflinacy, which could lead me to affli<5t myfelf, that another may fliare in my Pains j but I have that noble Firmnefs, which dif- tinguifhes generous Minds from thofe mean Souls, always ready to receive any Impref- fion you wifh to give them. Determined in my Refolutions by unalterable Principles, I am capable of thofe exalted Efforts which Honour demands ; and what I believe my Duty, (hall always regulate my Conduct, and my Ideas of Happinefs. lie has wronged. pa ■^■:r-\\ LETT E R XIV. 55 'y-GUy you fay, he is fen/ible of it^ he returns ; you rejeti his Submijfions : this Proceeding is inconjiftent with your Character: youjlill love ; you are fiill beloved \ you ought to pardon. And why ought I, my Lord ? You had a Qiiarrel with Mr. Sternill^ he had infulted you in a Moment of Madnefs, he acknow- ledged his Fault, he offered you all the Sa- tisfaftion in his Power •, you knew he loved you : notwichftanding this, you refufed to jcar him \ nothing could prevail on you to confent to an Accommodation: and for a doubtful Jeft, a Word efcaped in the Pleat of a foolifh Difpute, you ftretched dead at your Feet, him, whom you had an hun- dred Times called by the tender Name of Friend. Did any one blame your Inflexi- bility i And why mud I pardon ? J, who have been infulted with cool Reflexion, wirh premeditated Defign, under the Vtil f Fricndfhip, of Love, of all thofe Sen:i- C 4 ments. W »> f tM'Ji I i li \u tun W''"Ji^ 56 LETTER XIV. ments, which have Power to touch a gra^ic- ful and tender Heart ? Ah ! what Right has one Sex to fport with the Softnefs and Senfibility of the other? If Cuftom has made the Point of Honour different between us; if I am not forced to. revenge myfelf pubHckly, ought my Re- fenrment to be the. lefs lively ? Ought it to yield to th.e Advances of an Enemy, who muft have expiated with his Life, a mucli lefs Injury, had it been offered to your Lord- Ihip ? What are your Pretenfions to infulf, or to revenge? What Pride perfuades you that you have a Right to punifh, when you think I ought to pardon ? f ■M ijl f| Don't, my Lord, give me Prejudices for Laws, nor Ufurpation as a Title ; Time and PoflTefTion may ftrengthen the Power of Injuftice, but cannot make it lawful. In the *« & LETTER XIV. 57 the difficult Road we have travcilcd toge- ther, Heaven has placed us in the fame Path i I have Spirit to keep up to you, my Lord, and can allow noDlftindlion between Creatures, who feel, think, and aft, in the fame Manner. But I hate to declaim ; and though your Letter is very proper to animate me, I will carry the Subjeft no farther. I will give you the Account you have defired; I even confent to make you the Arbiter between Lord O^ry and me : Prepared, however,, to appeal from your Judgment, if you con- demn me after the Fafls I am going to dif^ clofe.. '■I'M Qe n fbe ri 58 LETTER XIV; 1 : i i' '- tM ■^.I'i hi Zi'C History of Lady Catesby, and Lord Os so R y. V/hat I atTi going to confide to your Lordfhip, is interefting only to a Friend. Wholly cngroffed by my Affliftions, I am, notwithftanding, fully fenfible, they contain noihing extraordinary, but the Manner in which I have fclc thenii but Events appear to us in a very different Light, from the Difference of our Charadlers: I am incon- Iblable under a Misfortune, which would, perhaps, have been very light to another. Married at Sixteen, and a Widow at' Eighteen, I returned to London^ juft at the Time you fet out for Vienna : nothing then promifed me the confiderable Fortune I have fince been Miftrefs of. Without Ambition, without Fondnefs for Splendour, I did not wilh I LETTER XIV, 59 wifli for that Fortune ! Alas ! would my Brother ftill enjoyed it ! What Riches can make me forget him ! How willingly would I part with all this idle Pomp to recover a Friend fo dear to me ! You loved him, my Lord, and you know how juftly I regret him. He left us to go into France^ and I remained with my Aunt, who had been a Parent to us both. "Lziy Anne her Daugh- ter, marrying Lord Ofmond^ and my Aunt giving up to them her Houfe in Pall-Mall^ it was fixed, I Ihould continue with Lady Ofmond, My Lord Catefiy^s extreme Jealoufy had accuftomed me to Retirement : I found little Pleafure in the great World : Reading and « Mufick employed all my Time. The Men thought me amiable ; they told me Jo ; but without being infenfible to the Pleafure of Admiration, I was infinitely fo to the Cares C6 of 'M\ ■A m i t:{i fl ^ 1 :"i! -:k "« In -«!*>: V ""11 1' t^J \ii Id ^, 'I h '! ! •: ;• ■«,| 60 L E T 1 E R XJV. of my Lovers. I laughed at their TranP- ports; and ridiculing the Follies of which Love made them guilty, I fancied Reafon and Pride would always fccure me from its Power. S X)N after my Coufin's Marriage^ we left London for Hertfordjhire, Lord Ojjory^ and Mr. Afljhy returned, at that Time, one of ihem from France^ and the other from Italy z As they were both Friends to my Lord Of- mond^ they vere invited to Hertford^ they kt outdireftly^and arrived together. I was witb Lady OJmond^ when my Lord prefented them to her: The Moment I caft my Eyes on one of them, my Tafte was forever fixed* Lord Offory profeffed himfelf an Enemy to Love : till I faw him, I was perfedly indiiferent : this Conformity of Humours on which they fometimes rallied us, was the firft i n u if LETTER XIV. 6t firfl: Bond of that Friendlhip, which united us : He talked of Love, but it was always to complain of its Rigor -, hefeemed to know only its Pains. My Heart, which already fympathized with him, took a fccret Intereft in his Difcourfcs j I repeated them to my*- fclf when alone, and fuppofing he regretted an unfaithful Miftrefs, I partook of his Cha-j grin : I was aftoniflied how fhe could ever ceafe to love him, and it feemed to me, that a Woman, who could betray or abandon him, muft be born more perfidious than all others. ii it! •■I m' tw :m ■% I PAST fome Time, without attending to the Pleafure I felt in feeing Lord Offory : I gave myfelf up to it without Reflexion; and only obferved, that fince his coming to Hertford^ every thing was become more interefting to me. '''Si . ill ''■.Ii:.«l ■ m Mr; ■m II' It 1^1 M <'■ m (% LETTER XIV. Mr. JJhhy declared himfelf my Lover : You know his Paflions are lively.^ but of fliort Duration ; he addrefled me with the moft impatient Ardour, but that Ardour appeared to me importunate. Lord Ofmond wiQied he might pleafe me ;, he even gave him Hopes, but I deftroyed them the Mo- ment he fpokc to me on the Subjed:. Mr. jijfjby grew infupportable to me-, he became melancholy, jealous, impertinent j he quar- relled with me often, and pafled whole Days in Hunting to avoid me. My Lord OJforj on thefe Occafions, rallied me on his Ab- fence ; told me, laughing, he faw I was af- flided at it, and offered himfelf to reprefent Mr. JJhby. He took his Place near me, imitated his little Cares j gathered Flowers, and prefented them to me with that timid Countenance, that AirofSadnefs, from which unhappy Love cannot preferve itfelf, and which LETTER XIV- 63 which adds to the Difguft of the beloved Objeft. My Lord mixed fo much Grace with every thing he did, that this Pleafantry, though repeated often, was always new and entertaining: it engaged us to feek each other ; and when our Converfation took a more fcriousTurn,Lord OJfoiy lamented Mr. y^/^'j Unhappinefs, and told me, he could not conceive any Misfortune equal to that of loving me, and being difpleafing to me. One Morning when I had been walking a long Time with Mr. AJhby^ by one of his common Caprices, he changed his Humour on a fudden, and appeared infinitely gay, and lively : my Lord OJfory affumed a fei ious Air; I faw a Coldnefs in his Looks ; I was fhocked at it ; an unknown Emotion took Poffeflion of my Heart, and gave me inex- prefTible Torment. I would have fpokc to Lord OJfory^ to afk him the Reafon of his Sadnefs, but far from feizing thofe Opportu- nities .),' m fV PTBT 11' •' )-f ^4 LETTER XIY. nities I gave him of approaching me, he did not even feem to give the lead Attention to my Defign. The Hours paft, and the Day vf^s at anEnd, without his having deign- ed to addrefs me a fingle Word. How long did that Day appear ! what Defpite did I feel' againft Lord Offbry! I refented his Behavi- our fo much, that I thought I hated him. The Moment I was alone, the Tears gufhed from my Eyes-, they removed the OpprefTioa of my Heart, and gave me Liberty to refledt on the fecretCaufe of that Sentiment, which made them flow.. Why torment myfelf becaufe of my Lord OJforys Coldnefs? Why defire to fpeak to him? What had I to fay to him? And why intereft myfelf in the Change of his Temper ?' Thefe Queftions which I put to myfelf, difcovered to me at once the Paflion, to- which Pit LETTER XIV. €$ which I had given up my Hearty without knowing it. Shall I tell you more, my Lord ? la confefllng it, I had alfo the Weaknefs to pardon myfelf this Attachment. I found Lord OJfory Co worthy to be be!oved •, the Charms of his Wit, the Graces of his Per- fon, his Air, his Features, the NoUenef? of his Sentiments, a thoufand amiable CL4.4li- ties, the Virtues he really poffef ed, thofe which my Love added to them 5 every thing in him feemed proper to augment, and to juftify my Tendernefs : I vowed ne- ver to difcover my Paflion, but I vowed alfo to carry it to. my Grave. I APPEARED in the Morning with fuchan Air of Defpondency, as made every body apprehenfive for my Health. Lord OJfory difcovcred fo much Inquietude, fhewed him- felf ti !. i;y I l-r 66 LETTER XIV. felf fo touched with my Languor, that the lively Inttreft he took in it, difpelled it in a Moment; whi 1ft I beheld himjwhilftUiflen- ed to him, my Gaiety returned, and broughi: back to my Countenance that chearful Luf- tre, which Chagrin had banifhed thence. From that Moment I carefully obferved the Progrefs of my Conqueft ; my I.^ord fhewed the warmeft Friendfliip for me, but he flicwed no more than Friendfhip. The Winter brought us back to Town ; I faw Lord OJfory feldomer ^ I became me- lancholy, thoughtful; I felt a Difguftfor all thofe Amufements, which pleafed me before I had given away my Heart. Lady Henrietta was then at Venice with her Father : Deprived of the only Friend with whom I dared to truft my Sorrows, I kept a perpe- tual Guard on myfelf to conceal them : Sometimes I blufUed at my Love; I regret- cd It .pi if -' I'll • if LETTER XIV. at the it in a liften- 'oughi: 1 Luf- lence. ^d thQ lewed dt he Iret- cd "ii 6t cd my pad Tranquillity ^ I determined no longer to give Way to my Sentiments 5 I ftrugglcd with them -, I examined my Lord with Attention, I fought to find Defeds in him; Iwilhed it was poflible he could dif- pleafe me ; but the more I faw, the more I heard of him, the more convinced I was that he was truly worthy of ail the Love I felt for him. Mr. JJhiy^ whofe Levity was extreme, tired of my Indifference, addrefled his Vows to Mifs Germain ; his Infidelity made us Friends : As his new Miftrefs was often with me, he begged of me not to teach her to ufe him ill. My Lord OJfory had always a Place in our Converfation : We fpeak> without intending it, of the Objeft, who is dear to us : His Name is, without ceafing, on the Borders of our Lips; we would wichold it, but it efcapes us : We have pro- nounced it a hundred Times, when we fancy we ■ V J ifW'^ Iff, t I '.ii W: ■ '. V •! m \k Iff, ' * si m ' 6S LETTER XIV. we have not pronounced it once. Whether Mr. J/hl^y penetrated my fecret Thought:>, nnd wifhed to revenge himfelf, or whether he really believed what he afferted, he repeat- ed to nae continually that he Ihould pity ex- tremely that Woman who attached herfelf to Lord OJfory : He painted him folid, amiable, generous; but infenfible. He chagrined me by his Difcourfe, yet I was never weary of liftening to it : Lord Ojory was talked of, though to his Difad vantage, and allCcnv^r- fation, of which hord Offhry was the Subjeft, had an attractive Charm for me. I PASSED Part of the Winter in all the Pangs of Sufpenfe 5 my Lord's Attention, K\s Afliduity, redoubled j a thoufand little Cares which procecf^ from the Heart alone, and which the Heart alone knows how to fet a juft Value on, all perfuaded me that I was beloved ; but he had never told me fo : and that Doubt infeparable from true Paffion, tbac /'hetker ought?, vhether repeat- pity ex- erfe If to miable, 'ned me ^eary of ked of, ponver- lubjeft, all the intion, little alone, lOW to that I le fo: iffion, tbac LETTER XIV, ■I 69 that Fear which raifes Obftacles to our Dc- fires, and dcflioys our fondeft Hopes, made me always diftruft thofe Proofs that I thought he gave me of his Tendernefs. Whilft he was with me, the fofteft Tranquillity reigned in my Soul, my deareft Wifhes feemed ful- filled ; when he was abfent, I felt all my In- quietudes revive. We were one Evening in Lady Ofmon^s Clofet \ eveiy body were at Cards, except my Lord OJfory and myfelf 5 I was (landing, leaning on Lady Durjlefs Chair, and obferv- ing her Play. She called my Lord OJfory to afk him a Queftion j as he (looped down to fpeak to her, happening to move my Hand, it fell by mere Accident on my Lord's : I withdrew it hadily, but he, fixing on me the mod paffionate Look, carried his to his Mouth, and kifTed that Part of it which mine had touched. I was afFcfted by this '•t . k ■■ * ] ;i ^'^ ^ ; i i' '■' If .: . '1 ' H F't ¥ M W i\ >«i m i^' ^r I'f :ffi llttf ; i' I !..■ .11 I M t : *> ' 70 LETTER XIV. this Aftion, it foftened me, it charmed mc j and during the Remainder of the Evening, I could not keep myfelf from regarding him with a Look of Embarrafment, which told him too plainly what it endeavoured to con- ceal. Pardon me, my Lord, if I am prolix in relating thefe little Particulars : this in- human Paffion has been fo dear to me, all that relates to it is yet fo recent in my Me- mory, that it is impoffible for me to fpeak on the Subjeft without recalling every Cir- cumftance, that led me to give myfelf up to an Inclination which has been the Source of all my Misfortunes. Early in the Spring we returned to Hert- ford -^ Lord OJfory begged to be of our Party. I felt an extreme Joy at it j I flattered myfelf it was on my Account only •, I was charm- A ed i-l! •"' t i* ' ' 1. ■ S LETTER XIV. 71 ed that he preferred me to thofe Amufe- ments which publick Places offered him : i\las ! I was but too grateful for fo trifling a Sacrifice! Lefs interrupted than in Town, we pafled whole Hours in thofe beautiful Gardens which Lord Ofmofid has adorned with every Charm of Art and Nature. My Lord improved me in the French Language and I inftrufted him in thtSpani/h: our Stu- dies led us to Reflexions, of which our Sen- timents were always the Foundation. The Secret of our Souls feemed every Moment ready to efcape us ; our Eyes had already betrayed it, when one day, reading an af- feftino: Storv of two tender Lovers, who had been cruelly torn from each other, the Book fell from our Hands, our Tears began to flow, and feized with I know not what Kind of Fear, our Eyes were fixed ardently on each other. He put one of his Arms round me, as if to detain me j I leaned to- wards m r 4 11 H'^m. n ^■i': :1 .■;*■ N". , i: !! ^2 LETTER XIV. wards him, and breaking Silence at the fame Tinme, we exclaimed both together. Ah ! how unhappy were thefe Lovers! A FULL Confidence followed this acci- dental Difcovery of our Tendernefs : Lord OJfory confefled to me the Paffion with which he faid, I had infpired him the firft Mo- ment he beheld me. He told me the Reafons which he had to refift the warm Emotions of his Heart, naturally inclined to love. You know he was engaged to Lady Charlotte Chejier^ when the old Marquis of Borcbejier offered him*^lf, and was immediately ac- cepted. Lady Cbarlottt preferred to an amiable Lover, who adored her, and for whom flie pretended an equal Paffion, a Title, which (he had then no Hopes of with him, he having at that Time two elder Bro- thers. This ambitious Woman difgufted Lord OJfory with all the Sex, he believed them inca- III ' LETTER XIV. 73 incapable of Tendernefs or of Fidelity. He left London^ and till he came to Hertford^ preferved his Fear of engaging in another Attachment; but this Fear was foon loft in the Hope of finding in me a Heart formed for his. He forgot the Marchionefs, and thought of nothing but of delivering him- felf up to the Love I infpircd, which how- ever he had the Cruelty to conceal from me. With what Fire did he paint to me that Love! How often did he fwear, that his Happinefs, that his Life depended on my returning his Paflion ! How melting were his Looks ! How ardent his Expreffions. His Difcourfe, the very Sound of his Voice, penetrated my Soul : His Words are engra- ven there in Characters never to be effaced. Ah! my Lord! What a Moment! The Confeffion of a Paffion which one partakes. D 25 -*f I' '1*3 \ ■ n t .» 1 11 1' i :, , I \ ;i. J. hi t ' 1 i !i % . V) I 1 .|| tv Mi I. - 74 LETTER XIV. is like a fudden Flarti of Light, which car- ries a new Day into one's Ideas. An un- fpeakable Charm was difFufed on every Thing around me ; every Objeft became more fmiling, more amiable in my Eyes 5 all Nature feemed more adorned and lovely. That Garden, where I had juft learned I was beloved, appeared to me die Abode of fome benevolent beine, who had withdrawn the Veil which had fo long hid my Happi- nefs from me. I::m h!' Seized widi Aftonifliment and Joy, how could 1 hide thofe rapid Emotions, Emo- tions to which I had been then a Stranger ? And why Ihould I have reftrained them? I fuffered him to fee the Pleafure his Con- feffion had carried into my Soul ; he enjoy- ed ir, and augmented it by his Tranfports, and by the Gratitude with which he received the Vows I made, never to ceafe loving him. From s 1- -; I LETTER XIV, 75 iM From that Inftant Lord OJfory has en- groflcd all the Tendernefs of my Soul, and I have only breathed to love him. *TwAS about this Time, the Duke of Suffolk came to Hereford: he pafled fix Weeks there, and conceived that PafTion for me which he yet preferves. Why can I not reward him with a Sentiment more tender than Efteem ? So conftant an Ardour ought to triumph over the Remembrance of an In- grate. My Lord Duke offered me his Hand, my Refufal afflidted without offending him : he eafily imagined that theRank of Dutchefs, with an immenfe Fortune, offered by a No- bleman, whofe Perfon was uncommonly agreeable, and whofe Charadler was high in the World's Efteem, would not have been re- fufed'without a ftrong Attachment for ano- ther. He explained himfelf to Lord Of- D 2 mond^ !'^.f !l I V i A '1,1 " 1 1 i 1 1 i ' ' '% [ a m'w ll' ' W w It 1^ 1; !? \fA 'i 76 LETTER XIV. fjjond^ who aflTured him of the contrary; but without bting able to convince him. I did not doubt but his Sufpicions fell on my Lord Cjfory^ and I believed it the more, becaufe he never after pronounced his Name before me, a Piece of Refpedl which I fhall always ac- knowledge as an Obligation. We hid with Care our fecret Cofrefpon- dence, without any other Reafon than a little Shame for having changed our Refo- lutions: we faw each other continually, and at Night wrote to each other what we had not been able to fay during the Day. How dear is that Time even yet to my Re- membrance ! How happy did I live : What Good is comparable to the Sweetnefs of loving a Man worthy of our mod tender AfFe6lion, who loves us, who tells us fo, who repeats it every Moment, and whofe every Wifh is loft in ours i What Pleafure to expedl him, to fee him appear, to lift up to > • LETTER XIV, 77 to hlni thofe Eyes to which his Prefehce gives new Luftrc, to read in his that he thinks us lovely, and that we aic fo happy as to pleale him! How flattering to fee onefelf the Objcdl of all his Cares, to ima- gine he feels all the Tranfports he excites, that he enjoys all the Pleafures that he gives! ^.((d Ah, my Lord, why do the Levity, the Inconftancy of our Hearts, change into Bittcrnefs Sentiments fo foft and enchanting! From whence comes it, that of two Perfons who have equal Power of procuring to each other, fo true, fo exalted a Happinefs, one fliould ceafe to feel it, and deliver up the other to eternal Regret ? Amiable Senfibi- lity ! Dear and fluttering Prefent! No, it is not you who render us unhappy : our natural Inquietude, our Caprices, poifoii the Gifts of Heaven, and we lavifh away D 3 without ^'11 '' /♦ mm 78 LETTER XIV, without poiTcffing, the precious -^icifingi which it beftows upon us. il* .'! 'c- •* Six Months pafltd in this agreeable Si- tuation : towards the Middle of Autumn Lord OJfory was obliged to return to Lon- don^ to be prefent at the Marriage of Lord Newport with Lady A/^r//w^r. He fhewed an extreme Repugnance to leaving us, and quilted me with an unafFefted and lively Sorrow. He wrote to me two or three times a Day, his Letters breathed the Soul of Tendernefs •, he fpoke only of the ardent Dcfire he had to return, to fee me again, and of the Hopes he had of foon being united to me in thofe foft Bonds, he came from fcf ing tied. My Replies exprefled the Grict his Abfence gave me ; and which n.^ching was able to difTipate. He returned, and the Joy of feeing him again effaced the remem- LETTER XIV. 79 Remembrance of thoIc tedious Hours I had paflTed witliout him. The fiid Tranfports of this Joy being calmed, I fancied I perceived in his Looks an unufual Mclanclioly, I aflied the Reafon of it, with thac tender Intereft: which a Heart truly enamoured cannot but take in the leafl: Inquietude of the beloved Objedl. One Day as I preflTed him to truft me with his Sorrows, I faw his Eyes wet with Tears : he endeavoured to hide them from mc, and turning away his Face, Ah! faid he to me, with a Voice broken and interrupted, I have a Reproach to make myfeJf, a Reproach which your Goodnefs renders every Inftant more lively. Do not infift on my explaining the Reafon of it ; if I fpsak, you will love mc lefs, you will perhaps no longer love me at all : I am not worthy of the Heart you have given me^ no Man is worthy of it. How D 4 much f .¥[11 •I 4 fa l|.ii m ''4 V ;•'! ' !■. i! :;r ft- if \l ■ ?i' rt n ^■ii m/ '![ \ li; i I . ;: 80 LETTER XIV. much is your Soul above mine ? How ought I to blufli before you ! Ah ! Lady Catejl)yl Is this your Lover ! Is this the Man beloved by you, who has prepared for himfelf eter- nal Remorle ?— No, I am no more that hap- py Lover who once hoped to deferve you. This flrange Difcourfe pierced my Heart with Sorrow : I begged him to open his whole Soul to me; he refufed; I did not dare to prefs him for Fear of adding to his Afflidtion : Time feemed to foften it, and my Curiofity fubfided. His Love was al- ways the fame, and his Grief diflipating by- little and little, I was not obftinate to dif- cover his Secret. Lord Offory was fo dear to me, I found fuch Sweetnefs in facrificing every thing to him ! How could I renew a Subjedb of Converfation which might dif- plcafe or afflift him ? |i.4 I', We IHIJ if- i; LETTER XIV, 8j We were to leave Hntford in a Week ; Lord Offory had prevailed on me to confent to give him my Hand a Month after our Return to London: I wiflied however to have waited my Brother's Return •, whofe iafc Letters had afTured me he intended to crofs the Seas in the Beginning of Winter. Lord Oj[ory might have expefted a better Match than I was at thatXime : however my Fortune was fufficient to bear the additional Expence which a Wife would occafion: it put me in a Condition to refufe the advantageous Settlements he would have made: A i'aa of the Marriage Articles was fent to him; he took PJeafure in examining them, in let- tling them with me : we were agreed on all Points, when one Evening a Meflenger en- quired for my Lord Offory v/ith an Aj^.erir- ance of g eat Myftery, and would de..ver his Pacquec into nu Hands but his own. D 5 He .. £ i; I 'W II. -'.\ ■'Ui*;:. ! ,*1 ^1 4, -i'i ,u ..^ ttl ,1 i ti LETTER XIV. He was at Play, and left it to fpeak to this Man, but inftead of coming back, he fent to beg Lord Arthur would take his Cards.^ At Supper Time one of his Servants came to tell us he found himfelf a little indifpofed, and was gone to Bed. \] 11 if 11 ■A H 11^ iv iT I, i ' Never did my Heart feel anV Inquie- tude equal to what feizcd it at this Mefiage. ] did not imagine my Lord was ill, but I was convinced he had received fome ill News, I fent Betty feveral Times to enquire afcer his Health, and to find out how he was em- ployed \ (he brought me Word at firfl, that he was fliut up in his Apartment, and had commanded his Servants not to enter. At length (he learnt of his Valet de Chambre, that he wept bitterly, feemv^d in Dcfpair, and that he had never fcen him. in fo fiiocking a State of Mind. What LETTER XIV. ^3 M' h I t What a Night did I pafs! My Lord Offory was in the deepefl: Afflidion •, he fhut himfelf up ; he wept j he had Sorrows, and he did not fcek me. Had he then Grief he feared to truft me with ! Did he doubt the Intereft I took in whatever concerned him ? He had then Secrets to me. I recalled to rfe, and his Embarrafme nt Mind his Difcou the Day lie returned to Hereford', I began to fear, without knowing what I feaud. The Idea only that he was in Tears, made mine flow ; I was not able to calm my trou- bled Heart; and the Morning furprifed me in that painful Sufpenfe, which one is always eager to get rid of, but of which one often has Occafion to lament the Lofs, P I II' S5' ! i'riii .5 |1 ! l\ As foon as the Flour allowed, I fent to know how my Lord did: they returned Anfwer, that he was not in Bed, ihac he D 6 was i i-^ c: 'llt»t;' ,1 I'l t n ■ feall'il r I i -'' .«1 H LETTER XIV. was drefltd, and had fat down to write. My Lord Arthur^ his Lady, and Son, were the only Strangers remaining at Hertford: they left us that very Day. To avoid appearing, I ordered them to fay I was alleep, and went to walk by the Side of the Canal : I wander- ed a long Time without perceiving the Path that I had taken : As I was returning, 1 faw my hord OJfory^ who advanced towards me, but fo feeble, fo dejeded, fo changed, that it was eafy to judge in beholding him, that fome fatal, fome unforefeen Event, mull have reduced him to that State. He joined me, bowed, without lifting up his Eyes, took one of my Hands, which he gently prefied between his, and led me to an Arbor where we both feated ourfelves, without fpeaking a Word. I had not Courage to aflc him any Queftions -, he attempted to fpeak, but his Voice expired upon his Lips : at kft, falling at my Knees, and hiding his I Face LETTER XIV. 85 Face in my Robe, he wept aloud, with all the Marks of inexprefllble Afflidion. Plis Tears, and his mehincholy Silence, ftabbed me to the Heart •, I prefTed him tenderly to fpeak ; I wept with him, his Sorrow over- whelmed me ; I conjured him to moderate it ; to lodge it in my Bofom : he feemed to yield to my Litreatics, and raifed his I lead. His Eyes, bathed in Tears, were fixed on mine j our Tears were mingled •, he appeared determined to explain himfelf; I again preff- ed him to it, when ftarting fuddenly from me, he left me wi[h the moft precipitate Hafte. 1 called to him, but in vain; I would have followed hi.rs but had not Strength. All my P^ears, my Alarms, were for him alone-, I could not conceive what could afflift him to that Excefs, nor how it was poflible he fhould find fuch Difficulty in opening his Soul to me. Going back to my Apart- ^ mentj they told me my JLord Offory was gone ; '^1 ;1 '• I 'V fit ?(, :' 1^ ' nil h ' Si' r •I' ■ « '•r: iil i it ■fr] ! f ' Ml' S6 LETTER XIV. gone : two Hours afcei, they brought me a Letter-, it was from him: could I have imagined I Ihould find there the following Words ? " I LEAVE you, Madam, and I leave you without the rcmoteft Hope ever to behold you again. How fliould I dare again to appear before yt-u ? I, who have betrayed yoii? Who, when arrived at the Summit of my moft ardent Willie^ when btloved by you, have not not been able to reprefs an unvv^oithy Inclinarion? Who have cxpofed mylelf to the Lofs of fo precious a Bl effing ~ Ah! Madam! Detcft, defpife this Mon- fler, who has deilroyrd your Happinefs, and his ov\n. So near being united to you! fo charmed with my Fate! fo proud to reign in alieart likr y urs! When you had given me the Prthrence Muft I then! ~~- Yes, the Laws of Honour commandt .--• How are you LETTER XIV. «7 you revenged! How am I pnniflied! — . 1 lofe you Juft God! I lofe you! Yet of whom can I complain but of my- felf ? — « ■■ ■■> fo dear as you were to my Heart, fo prefcnt to my Remembrance, Gughc not your Idea to have checked me ? But was I then myfelf ? — Alas ! I fliall fee \ ou no more ^ I fiiall be the O'. jeft of your Contempt, of your Averfion. — More un- happy rtill, a thoufand Times mere unhappy ir I am fo, one IVIoment, of your Rt-gret, of thofe Tears which I have feen flow for an Ingratc, for an inhuman Wretch, forced to deprive himfelf for ever — x-^h ! pity me. Ma- dam ! I dare yet implore your Compaffion — Why can I not at leail confcfs to you — But this horrible Secret is not mine only I ought to refpedt — Who ? — The Author of my Mifery — Is it then poflible I am reduced to wifh to be forgot by you ? — Yet I cannot forget you ! I fliall always adore you 5 your Image 1 i 1 I .1 83 LETTER XIV. Image will be always prefent to mc. Adieu ! Madam! Adi u' May 1 not live long enough to hear what you think of an un- happy Man who could never have dcfcrved you t'» \ :'. ■ J jii,; P' ''I' W" ' \\ ■• 1 I REMAINED like onc inanimate: a Blow fo terrible, fo little expcded, fo little de- ferved, a! mod annihilated my very Being, t\>' Immoveable, and without raifing my Eyes from that fatal Pfptr, it feemed to me in finifliing it, that feme invifible Hand preci- pitated me into an Abyfs, and deftroyed in me every Principle of Life. 1 remained till the next Mornirg ia a Kind of Stupidity, which fufpended ail the Faculties of my .Soul. Too bleft if that State had lafted, and if my Reafon had been loft with my Happinefs ! Lady Jl LETTER XIV. 89 Lady OfmondyNTiS twelve Miles off, with one of her Relations: fhe received there the News of the Duel and Death of my Brother. When flie returned, flie confulted with her Lord the Means of preparing me to bear this Lofs J being no Stranger to the tender Senfibility of my Soul. They told her the Way I was in ; flie afked if I had had Let- ters from London^ and finding I had receiv- ed feveral, fhe concluded I was already in- formed of the Fate of my Brother. Paint- ings fucceeded each other fo rapidly, I was fo incapable of liftening to her, or of fpeak- ing, that my Situation terrified her. It was not till the next Evening, when I was come a little to myfelf, that I difcovered by the Confolation flic endeavoured to give me, and by the Details into which it led her, that my amiable Brother was no more. I owed my Life to this Increafe of AfHidion: my Tears it; i ;• u ri< (■ I i "V^ \ , ^..,., I »r 50 L E T T E R XIV. Tears now opened thcmfclvcs a PaiTlige; their Abui;dance brought back 10 me the cruel Power to rcfled how wreichcd 1 was : it was with L-ifHcuhy I hid one Part of my Soriows, whi ft I gave myfclf up, wicliouc Conftraint, to thofc for which 1 had no Rea- fon to blufli. I COULD not bring myfelf to return to London^ 1 (laid at Hertford^ in fpite of the Entreaties of Lord and Lady Ofmond^ who loved me tenderly. I carried my Mourning for my Brother the fame Lengths I had done that for my Lord Catefiy : I would fee nobody: I found no Pleafure but in aban- doning myfelf to Grief: I ran eagerly to every Place where I had fecn, where I had converfed wiih Lord OJ/'ory, my Cries, my Groans pointed out thofe Places where he had affured me of his Love, of that Love which no longer exilled: I bathed with my Tears i ■;. I. E T T ER XIV. 91 Te.us his Letter?, his Pidlure, a thoufand Trifles that he had given me. Engrofl'jci continually by his Idea, I yet felt only the Pain of being feparated, for ever fenarared, from him : I regreted, without condemning him: I read every Moment that fatal Letter; I fought in vain to compf^hend what he had wrote, and why he fliouid abandon me: I pitied him, becaufe he defired to be pitied : I neither believed him falfe nor perfidious ; my Heart always defended, always adored him. I had loved him, without knowing whether he fliared my Tendernefs; and I loved him flill, uncertain of the Caufe of his Flight, without doubting the Noblenefs of his Sentiments, and could not perfuade my- felf he had deceived me. i'l ;i>' I * ! ■•••I* I PAST Part of the Day in writing to him, without ever fending what I wrote : as foDn as my Letter was finiflied, an invinci- ble 11 } - I t IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-S) k A // >t ^' Y. Uf -% 4.6 1.0 !t'- I I.I 12,5 ^ UL 2.2 "^ 1^ ill 2.0 1.8 ■ 1.25 1.4 1.6 .4 6" - ► V] <^ /2 '<^. ^ ^ NT ^'» / > > y /^ Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 ,Sf i! 'i '!!'? Mi hi I '•"^ 92 LETTER XIV. ble Repugnance prevented my foaling it : I read it over, I wepr, I tore to Pieces what I had been v;riting : an inftant aflcr, I began anotlier, without being able to determine what Step 1 fliould take. My Head fa- tigued by a continual Application to the fame Subje.^1, by all the darkTrojeds which Sorrow gives Birth to, loft by Degrees the Faculty of fixing on other OojeCis. I thought no more of any Thing but my Brother and my Lord OJfory, Sometimes I fell into a Sort of Infenfibility ; every Idea was then effaced from my Mind : I returned to myfelf, only to feel my Wretchednefs with more Force. I invoked the Soul of my Brother; I called him to the Succour of his unhappy Sifter ^ I begged of Heaven to take away my Life; and I know not how my Reafon prefer ved itfelf in a State fo near approaching to Madncfs. I EX- LETTER XIV. 93 I EXPECTED my Letters with Impatience: I did not fuppofe I Ihould receive one from Lord OJfory •, yet, when I found none from him, amongft thofe they brought me, I felt the Defire 1 had to fee them vanifh. I ran over Lady Ofmcfjd's, trembhng, I feared to find there a Name which yet I fought for with Eagernefs. Alas ! it was there only to augment my Sorrows : I learned that he was dangeroufly ill : I forgot every Thing to think only of his prefent State. I wrote to one of my StTvants, who was in Lorfdorty to inform himfelf exaftly of the Courfe of my Lord OJforfs Dillemper, and to fend me every Day an Exprefs wi:h the Account. His Illnefs was long, and whilfl it laSed, I experienced that Grief may be fufpended by the Fear of ftill greater Afflidion. But what a Change did his Recovery make in my Situation! The firft Ufe my I-ord OJfory ■r\. Ml V-f» ■ } 111- • fi " K ;ll ,vi. J 94 LETTER XIV. Offory made of his Return to Health, was to go to St. Jameses Church, where he was married to Mifs Fanny Montford, None of his Friends were prelent at the Ceremony \ it was celebrated without Pomp ; and two Hours after he fet out, with his Bride, for the North of England. How fliall I plfture to you, my Lord, the Impreffion this News made on me ? It feemed that all I loved was a fecond Time torn from me: I had preferved, without perceiving it, a feeble Hope ; the Inftant that deprived me of it, opened again all my Wounds : I knew my Lord Ojjory was no longer mine •, I repeated every Moment of the Day, that he never could be : but I had no Idea of the Pang which rent my Heart, when I told myfelf he was another's. His %. LETTER XIV. 95 His Marriage explained to me neither his Letter nor his Conduft: why fliould Honour engage him to efpoufe this Lady, whom he then knew not, or knew but nightly ? and how could Plonour impofe on him a Law for her, v;hich was not more binding in regard to me ? I loft myfelf in my Reflexions j and whilft I funk under the Weight of my Chagrins, whilft a melan- choly Languor dertroyed my Health, faded my Youth, and robbed me of Repofe, my Lord OJfory was content and tranquil : his Wiflies were fulfilled. I painted him to my Imagination loft in the Tranfports of a fatis- fied Paflion, as a Lover who fecludes himfelf from the World, to poflefs, without Inter- ruption, the Objedt of his Tendernefs : I re- prefented him to myfelf in the Arms of his happy Bride, forgetting me in the Bofom of PleafureSjbanifhingfrom hisMind thofe weak Remem- 1 'V- ' f> ■ i i: "t l';i r^ - Ill •'7' It I ■ p . '* ' :;:' •i fa^i Hi i^MM Ml m tfji •tii' Ifr *■'-% tK ..]• 96 LETTER XIV. Remembrances of me, which might per- haps fomctimes intrude upon his Heart j but which a Smile from her he loved, would ef- face. His Tafte, his Inclination only could have determined him to this Union ; Mifs Monlford w;xs of Birth, but without Fortune ; and thofe who had feen her, affured me fhe was not handfom^ lam ignorant by what Charm flie attrafted him. I WILL not attempt to exprefs to you the Torments of my Heart: to judge of the cruel Emotions by which I was agitated, it is neceflary to^have been in the fame Situa- tion, and to have had the fame Degree of SL-nfibility. Believe me, my Lord, thofe who have never felt the Mifery of being be- trayed by thofe they loved, by thofe they loved with Paflion, can have but a faint Ideaof the Sorrows which it is polTible to ex- perience in this Life. The Lofs of a fplendid Fortune Im 1. E T T E R XIV, 97 Fortune leaves us at leaft the Advantage of fliewing the Greatnefs of our Souls, either by that Moderation which enables us calmly to bear this Reverfe, or by that noble Firm- nefs which raifes us above Fortune itfelf. That Excefs of Vanity which reigns in the human Heart, is often a powerful Confola- tion under the greateft Misfortunes. Happy thofe who can enjoy the fecret Pleafure of Self- Admiration! But what Refource re- mains to her, who having fixed all her Hopes of Happinefs on one only Objedl, fees her- felf fuddcnly deprived of that Obje v> 'i H m 1 ., 'M ill I III i.;, It' I ' 1.1 1 ifiii m too I. E T T E R XIV. to have extinguifhed. Never was Aftonifh- nient equal to mine, when I faw him enter at Lady Bellvile* s -y his Eyes inftantly fixed themfclves on me : I felt an Agitation which made me afraid to flay, lead I fliould betray myfelf. Whilft all the Company, charmed to fee him, ran eagerly to embrace him, and mixed with their Compliments of Condo- lance on the Death of his Wife, a thoufand Felicitations on his Return, lu2iAy Henrietta had the Goodnefs to lead me out of the Room : we went away together. You was a Witnefs of my Confufion •, I in vain endea- voured to hide it: the ftrange Perturbation of my Senfes difcovered lo you Part of my Secret. Lord OJfory was every Day at my Door-, he found it (hut to him alone; he interefted one of my Women,whom he knew, in his Favour; and prevailed on her to beg for him one Moment's Con verfation with me. He wrote to me, he followed me every where.; LETTER XIV. loi where ; his Obftinacy alarmed me •, I felt that Lord OJfory could never be to me an indifferent Perfon. AlTiamed to find dill this Scnfibility, I thought it my Duty to fly from the Danger of feeing him, of liftcn- ing to him : Do you now, my Lord, think you ought to accufe me of Cruelty^ of In- fiexwility^ for having refufed to receive Lord OfTory's PlfitSy for fending back kis Letters without deigning to open them^ for not deftring any Explanation ixith him ? What Regard *db I owe him ? What Motive fhou Id engage me to hear him ? Ah! What can he have to fay to me, after having fo long forgot me ! He has too well informed me that he is able to live without me, to be happy wirhout me! Ah ! that he had bten always fo ! Yes, that he had been always fo, but far removed from me! If you know where he is, if you wnte to him, beg him to renounce the Projed of ap- peafing me, of feeing me. Me, his Friend? Ah ! God! I cannot be fo. E 2 I AM .;h.4l X^-O I I { 102 L E T T E R XV. I AM forry Heaven has fnatched from him her whom he lovcd, whom he preferred to ine : But why fhould his Lofs be a Rea- fon for reproaching me? Is it for me to confolehim? Adieu, my Lord! keep my Secret: Do Juftice to my Sentiments; and if you wifh I fhould believe the tender Friendfhip you profcfs for me finccrc, fpeak to me no more of Lord OJfory. •ii i ll f ::| i HI I' M^ m 1. E T T E R XV. fVednefdayy Winchester, I Was not able to write to you Yefterday. I was fatigued, I was even ill : I kept my Chamber. This light Indifpofition gave great Pleafure to Sir Harrys he would ftay with mci I knew not what to fay to him ; I de- fired him tofingj he has a clear, melodious, agreeable [A LETTER XV. 103 agreeable Voice. Indeed, my Last Night every body aflembled in my 'Apartment : they rallied my Lard Clurendbn on a Paffion which he has a long Time pre- ferved, though the Objedl of his Attach- nient little deferved fuch Conftancy. This Paflion has rendered him very unhappy du'- r:ng the laft five Years. What think you of this Subjeft of Pleafantry ? Could you fuppofe, any one would find Amufement in recalling to another's Remembrance, tht moft: painful Moments of his Life ? Ah ! What a Manner of thinking muft they have who can find Pleafiire in tearing open the Wounds of a tender Heart ! My Lord Cla- rendon attended with Complaifance to this cruel Raillery : he (hewed both Senfe and Good-nature by the Manner ki which be bo r^ LETTER XV. 105 tore it : but he caft down his Eyes, he was embarrafTcd— Tell me, my Dear, why we blufli to have been deceived ? We are then adiapied to have Sincerity, and to fuppofe it in others. From whence comes it, that one feels humbled by being difcovered to have a Credulity, of which, if one examined the firfl: Principles, one ought rather to be proud ? If it is by our ov/n Sentiments we judge thofe of others, Diftrufl: is not natural to a virtuous Soul : Ah ! Can thofe poflTibly fufped Deceit, who feel themfelvcs incapable of pradifing it! .11 4i u m I PARTOOK the Pains of this poor Noble- man : perhaps my Concern proceeded lefs from a generous Compaffion, than from a lively Retrofpeft to my own Misfortunes : I will not however examine too narrowly, into the Caufe. I hate to feek for Reafons' to weaken the Idea I have of Goodnefs : E 5 ' thofe it V' ■! M ''^ ,:|J'! 106 LETTER XV. thofe Moralifts, who fetting up for Scruti- nizers and Judges of the Soul, to vihfy it, degraue its moll exahed Operations, only furnifli me w th Conviftion againft them- felves. Now we are on this Subjfd:, I thank you for the little Book you have fent me. The Author writes well, but does he think weil ? I would have People impelled to write by a more difinterefted Motive than that of difplaying their Wit. Ihe Speda- tor ought to be a Model for thofe who ftudy to penetrate the Secrets of the human Heart. Why employ thofe Efforts to afflift us, which might as eafily tender to us Confolation ? Would it not be better to elevate the Soul than to abafc it ? It is from Examples of Goodnefs, of Greatncfs, of Generofity, that Men afpire to be good, great, generous. Thofe who would rend'^r their Knowledge ufeful, ought to affift us to profit of thofe Seeds of Reditude which Nature '. ..■ LETTER XV. 107 Nature has fown in our Hearts. To rob us of the Merit of owing to our Efforts Part of our good Qualities, to attribute every laudable Aftion to Vanity or Self- love, is to difcourage us in the Race of Virtue. To talk to us only of our Weak- nefle?, is like reminding an unhappy Perfon*, every Moment, how much he is to be pitied : if we are unable to confole him, ah! why thus inform him that he is miferable? To an Evil which is incurable. Lenitives alone — Bur, good God ! Is it for me to reafon, to criticife the polite Sir Jaynes WiU Hams ? See the Danger of Reading \ I have almoft wrote a Book too. Adieu ! I love you with all my Heart, % ''m- ' \ m E6 LET- ''f'''!ti^;; i^ [ io8 1 LETTER XVI. Thurfday^ Winchester; WH A T a ridiculous, what an im- pertinent, what a vexatious Adven- ture have I met with ! Happily difengaged from Sir Harry ^ who is twelve Miles from hence, I intended to take Advantage of his Abfence, to enjoy the Pleafure of walking alone. As I croffed the Walk I was in, to gain the Park, I faw Sir James : he had fol- lowed me without letting me perceive it: This Meeting extremely difpleafed me ; I knew it was then impoflible to avoid hearing him : determined to liften to him I had al- ready meditated on my Reply — But, my dear Henrietta could you believe it ? Could you r- 'f-i!' LETTER XVI. 109 you imagine the Effedt his Difcourfc has produced in my Heart, my weak unguarded Heart ? Sir James began, by telling me, that the only Motive of his Jcurney to Win- chefler, was — he hcfitated to find — ro fcize the Opportunity — which Chance had now given him — in fhort — to render me a Homage — he again hefitated ; but embol- dened by my profound Silence, he drew the mod lively, th^^ mod animated Pidure of his Ardour, of his Sufferings, of his Refpefl, of his PafTion Mv God, of whatever he pleafed, my Dear, I gave him noL terruption — Alas! 1 was too dillant f n m him ! — His Confufion, his Embarrafment, his Expref- fions almoft the fame, the Place, the Hour, the Seafon, the very Day, fo prefent to my Memory ; all recalled the Idea cf Lord Offory, I feemed again to hear that Voice fo fweet, fo adored, thofe flattering Pro- inifes, thofe Vows fo cruelly betrayed : my Head ( ■M •:= !' :;•':!■;■/ - '; -% "''-■Jm ;;U T iwTfl ■''i\W ' ' ?' 'f'** 3?| \ i " - *;■ ( r,;4 J' 'm V V'lnBl u&I^^H &i wmmJgm ':,M\ m K ( 1 10 LETTER XVI. Head funk o.i my Bof m, forgetting Sir James^ his '^ o; fcfl'o s his L.ove-, U.rgctting Prui ence and iv) Iclf. I gave a Locfe to my Tears \ I aban 'oi.fd myf It to a Sorrow the Marks of which I was unabL either to rfftrain or to conceal. I know not vvr,at Sir J nmes faid, 1 know not what he thought of an E- motivjn fo extraordinary : ' am ignorant how long this fingular Scent laded. We hc^ard my Lady Sunderland^ fhc came towards us : Sir James ftruck into the Wood, and your foohfli Friend croflfed into a cloil: Walk, that fhc might not be fctn, and haftened to write to you. — Surely, I have loft my Reafon — What can Sir James think? — Imuft fee him again in an Inftant— that Thought is infup- portable. L E Tr m^k [ "1 ] LETTER XVII. ^burfday^ Midnight. SIR James did not appear at Dinner: he complained oi ihe Head-acb, and came down very late. He fcemed melan- choly, and I was embarraffed. I cannot ex- prefs to you how much I fear an Explana- tion. I will avoid it, if I can. Muft my Lord OJfory then be always prefent to me ? Can nothing efface the Remembrance of that Ingrate ? Muft he afflift me without ceafing! What an Idea muft Sir James entertain of a Woman, who weeps becaufe an amiable Man loves her tenderly ! A Man k i. 1 S, ' ; 1, W,.i-' "■•'■. t i 112 LETTER XVII. A Man whofe Birth is equal to hers, whofe Fortune is very confiderable Oh, my dear Ilenrietta^ I have a Heart incompre- henfible, feeble, and I think, contemptible. Thofe (Qualities, thole Virtues, which were the Bafis oi our Friendfliip, you alone pof- fefs ; for me, I have no more than the Ap- pearance of them. A cruel Paflion, a Conftancy ill placed, have deftroyed my natural Difpofition, and changed my Cha;* rader. I A ill retain the fame Principles, but 1 fwerve from them : I aft contrary to the cleared Lights. I cannot rife above this vile half of myfelf, this feeble Machine, to which the lead Impulfe brings back the Im- prelTion of its firft tender Emotions. Chide me harfhly, I entreat you : I ftand in need of your utmoft Seventy. But by what ill Fate muft Sir James and Sir Harry pcrfecute me } I can love nothing. ;i.;l' LETTER XVir. 113: nothing-, I would not be beloved. The 04ie is filenr, purfues me every where, and is angry: the other fpeaks in a Tone of Voice, and with ExprefTions that ~ Have Men but one Language? — Why has his made me call to Remembrance? — Am I fo much to blame, my Dear ? Tell me — You are fo kind to my Faults, that my Friend (hip for you forces me to reproach them doubly. If you 6nd me ridiculous, yet do not love me lefe. '1 II, t ■ ! LET [ "4] ^■* 1' LETTER XVIII. J! i ( i"'] Friday^ Winch es^ter; YOU are afraid your Letters are long^ that they tire me; You, my dear Henrietta^ to think you can tire me ? Be aflured, that, abfent from you, my only Amufement is to read thofc amiable LiCt- ters. The Sentiment which makes them dear to me, will never produce Sorrow in my Soul •, my Tears will never efface thole be- loved Chara6lers : I fhall never remember with Shame the Pleafure I feel in reading them — Alas ! who could have foretold me that thofe^ from whence I once received fopure a Joy, I (hould now nor dare ■Mmmbs When I received them, I was happy, fo happy, that all thofc Blelfings, which others efteem LETTER XVIII. 115 cfteem, fcemed to me nothing, to thofe I hoped to poffefs — What a Change did a Day, an Hour, a Moment, make in my Fate ! — That Letter, that fatal inexplica- ble Letter — The Perfidiou?, to fwear to me that he adored me, to explore my Pity ! — Ah ! my D^ ar, I cannot forget him— No, I cannot! What I have wrote to my Lord Cajlle-Cary has given new Life to that finccre, that ardent 1 endcrnefs, which nothing can ever dcllroy. I have drug* gled againft the Shame of yielding to the extreme Weaknefs of my Heart. My Pride has fupported me in this painful Effort. I believed I might depend on my Rcafon ; I flattered myfelf— Vain Hope! I can never ceafe to think of Lord OJfcry. His Ab- fence makes me wretched : from whence comes this ? Do I then think he ought to be fenfible of mine? Can I fuppofe my Difdain has not difengaged him i Was it to I i '.1 .^ h 1 Jl I. I. ■ . I rr6 LETTER XVIII. to be fallowed that I fled ? Have I the Meannds to define it? Alas ! I know not; out I did imagine he would have fecn Lord Cajlle-Cary^ that he would have en- deavoured to f.e you — I am become fan- taftical, unjuft: when he is nientioncd to me, I am angry ^ when he is not, I am af- flifted. In dei'nng to fee me, he irritates me: He dcf:(ts j his Neglcd difpleafes,. ic offends me. My Go i! is this your Friend, rs this a Woman of Senfe, who is fo incon^ fiftent with hcrfclf ? My good, my tender Friend, love me for us both, for I fmcerely hate:myfeif. . LET- I "7 ] LETTER XIX. Saturday^ Winchester. SIR James has wrote to me. His Let- ter is tender •, be loves me^ he ivill not tell me fo. He does not dare to ajk the Sub- jett of my Tears \ he pall never forget that Moment, He fees that my Heart is pierced wilh a Grief which he refpe^s. He con- cludes with affuring me of his eternal Love. — Eternal, my Dear, they all promife an eternal Love. T'he fir ft Pi oof Sir James will ghve me of this eternal Love, and of his Sub.nilTion, is, to hide thole Sentiments, which he is fure of preferving for ever. I have anfwcred him politely, ar^d accepted his Silence only. I am forry to have i^fpir- ed % \* I , '.! nS LETTER XIX. ed him with Tcndernefs. If I cannot make him happy, I wlfh^ at lead, not to have made him miferable. He is amiable ; he would have been agreeable to me, if any one could be fo. You are fure my Lord OJJory is not at Btitb, They have not fcen him at Hert* ford. Lady Ofmond does not name him amongft thofe who are with her. She preffcs me to return to Hertford! to fee again thofe Scenes ! Ah ! I will not go to Hertford. -^ Here is Sir ii?^rry quickly returned, and returned the very fame as when he left us. I received him very well ; not well enough however, for he has a very difcontented Air— .21?i/r Lady/hip is writing — a profound Sigh, and the tirefome Creature walks off--» Ah no, he comes back, loaded wiih a Baf- 2 kec LETTER *X1X. 119 ket of Hyacinths and NarciiTuife, with which he is going to ornament my C lolct. Whilft he is buf> arranging them — My Ladyjhip is writing — to the great Regret of Sir Harry ^ I feel that nothing can be more impolite } but if I was to fhew the lead Gratitude for his little CivHities, he would overwhelm me with them. 'Tis quite enough to bear all his ill Humours in Silence: he has fo many with me, that I ofren examine n.yfelf to find if I have not done him fome Injury. That which makes his Preience tedious, and his Tenderr.efs painful to me, is my thinking that in his Heart he calls me ungrateful* In EfFtift, why treat him ill ? What have I to reproach him with? An EmbarrafTment ? A Defire to be with me, which leads him to follow my Steps, perhaps in Spite of himfelf? An extreme Submiflion ! A Paflion to picafe me, which he fcarce dares to let me fee! — If you faw with what Application he is em- ployed W^' 1' .1 ^;^ :! . li ,, I- ^'L ^i i '.^' i .. 'J /i mm- no LETTER XIX. ployed in his Work — poor Sir Harry^^thcj fay one is unjuft when one loves: one is much more fo when one does 'not. What Right have I to be impolite to Sir Harry? Becaufe he wearies me, muft I afflidl him ? Ought I to abufe the Power which his Weak- nefs gives me over him ? Do we owe nothing to thofe we make fufFer ? I will go talk to him — But what (hall I fay? — I will afk him for Snuff, what o'Clock it is, what Kind of Weather ; let fall my Handkerchief to give him the Pleafure of taking it up. One muft be obliging. Lord Cajlle-Cary begs my Pardon : he finds I was in the right : but he cannot con- ceive what can have made fuch a Change in my Lord Ojforfs Charafter : he fliould not have known him again by his ftrange Con- dojft in regard to m-e. Adieu! my dear and tender Friend. . LET. [ 121 ] :hey ve is /hat rry? .m ? eak- hing Ik to him id of I give mufl: con- not and LETTER XX. Sunday^ Winchester. AH! Great God! What Emotion! What Surprife! Under a Cover in an unknown Hand, a Letter from my Lord OJfcry — Yes, from him-^ It is his Hand — My God ! It is from him ! — i From whence comes it ? — . Who brought it ? — How ! — Wherefore ! — He write to me again ! — To me ? — What would he with me ? — My Hand trembles—My Pen drops from my Fingers — I mud take Breath, They cannot tell me from whence this Letter comes. A Man on Horfeback gave F it pi ' i.v 122 LETTER XX. it to one of my Servants, whom he en* quired for Can Lord OJfory be in thk Country ? — Behold me like a Fool j like one diftrafted — Like — But to what can I be compared but to myfelf— I cannot write -— My Head is difordered — O, my Dear, if you could fee me — That Letter — It dif- tra£ts me. Alas ! What is become of that happy Time, when the Sight of that Writing would have melted my Heart with Soft- nefs ? At prefent, it terrifies me^t^ It give^ me Diforder inexpreflible -=i- O, my Deaf Henrietta ! Why am I not with you ! Why cannot I repofe in your Bofom the Pangs I feel! They are fo exquifitej they are of fuch a Kind — I cannot defcribe them; but I fink under th^m. ■ " . WttAt 'i LETTER XX. I2J What Power has this Man over me ? I once believed he had that of making me happy : he has loft that, he has loft ic vo- luntarily— Muft he tncn ftill retain the cruel Power of affliftin^ me ?— I wifli to hide my- felf, to forget myielf, to lofe my very Being ^ — This Letter — - I know not what to do. How unhappy am I ! When Time Teemed ' to have weakened my tender Sentiments, and diminiftied my Chagrin, this Ingrate re- turns to Town, his Caprice excites him to ♦ fee me; and when, to avoid him, I leave all who are moft dear to me, he torments me even here ; he writes to me : he has the Cruel- ty to write to me. This Cover ! This Artifice — - When I fend back the Letter to London^ how fliall I convince him I have not read it?— He is not himfelf fincere enough to believe me on Ft my '^1 a '11 ' '••Lnt I 'i r 1 I r! 1 1 Ml 124 LETTER XX. my Word --- So artful — But what can he write to me? — Dare he attempt to juftify himfelf ? How can he ? — *- Ah ! It is nei- ther Love nor Friend fhip which prompts him to importune me; it is Vanity. He cannot bear to fee himfelf fcorned : he writes to triumph over my Refolutions 5 to prevail over my Pride, over my Refentment — Af- ter two Years of Forgetfulnefs, dare he flat- ter himfelf, that 1 yet think of him?— Is this Weaknefs or Curiofity ? — Whence comes this Defirc of feeing me? -- Yet what have 1 to fear? Has he any Reproaches to make me ? —- I will read his Letter \ I will anfwer it — But fee -- Lady Southamptoti ! Alas! Why have not I a Soul like heis! Adieu ! LET- II lit f "5 ] LETTER XXI. fj E complains of n.e, n,y Dear //.«. Lnl "= ^- the Preoption to con.pa,„, to teach me Leflbns of Gene- iear;,::i,''rf^^"'^-''-otthe on me .... But ,s it poflJbJe for a Man to c^r^ the Miferies which I'l'; To 'I'.' 126 LETTER XXI. To Lady C A T E S B Y. I w \ t ■ i - ; j, i .!i !i! To fly an unhappy Man, to rejeft his SubmifTions, to abandon him to his Re- morfe, to defpife his Repentance, to refleft without Pity on what he deferv^s to fufifer"; is the Behaviour of a Woman devoid of all Sentiment, who, thinking herfelf injured^ gives herfelf up to all the Fury of Refent- ment, and from whom indeed, one has no Right to expedl more Softnefs or Com- placency. But to open her Heart to the generous Emotions of Pity, to compaflionate the Fate of him, who is the more to be la- mented, becaufc he has merited thofe Mi- series under which he groans ; to forget, to pardon, to remit to him as a Friend, Part of his Offences as a Lover 5 to grant fome InduU r'^ LETTER XXI. 127 Indulgence to the IVnirence of a Criminal ; to hear him, at Icaft, is w i^at I expec^ted from the noble, the tnli^htcfitd Soul ot Lady But (he is chanp:ed ; flie is no !onq:r that faithful Friend, thai under MifLifls, whofe Love nothing co-Id v-ti. ken. Ler Letters, the only Confcic.tion of my I x 'c, the only Balm cf my affiideci houl; tl.ole Letters, fo dear, 'fo oten prefied Ioik ly to my Lips, fo often bathed with my Tears, thofe charming Letters ; all ti.at now re- mains of my pad Happinefs, they lu'l tell me you have loved mc; but your Eyes have contradidcd their pleafing Afiuranccs, and your Departure has too wtll confiimed my Misfortune, and convinced me of your Hatred. F4 Ah! I 1 f ' i1 1 1*1 123 LETTER XXI. 11 m 1 B^H^B ^kJ^v bh ^ UPB j| Ah! Lady Catejhyl Lady Catejby! Is it then you, who treat me with this inhu- man Cruelty ? You, who have a choufand Times promifcd me your eternal Efteem ? How are you certain you are not unjuft ? You have received V/rongs, I confefs ; but you are ftill ignorant of which Kind they are : Till now, I have not been at Liberty to explain my Conduft: Conde- fcend only to hear mc. Madam; in the Ksme of all that is dear to you, do bot rttlifi" rhis Concedion to a Man who aviores you, ^ho h^>J never ceaied to love, to admire, to regret you. In ipite of the ftrorigtft Appearances, believe me, he is rot unworthy the Favour he now pr^fumes to aik. Pardon i ■ t! 41 L E T T I R y.XU I2c» Pardon the Manner I have take i to co- gage you to read my Letter. Ont of my Servants waits your Reply at the Farm. 7haf inhuman Cruelty ! How do you know you are not unjuft? Could you have imagined he would have dared to doubt, whether I have afted juRly in regard to him ? Thofe Letters bathed with his Tears-"* From whence are thofe Tears ? From what Caufc. — Ah! Let them ftill flow ! Let him weep! He has betrayed that tender Mijirefs^ who preferred him to all Man» kind; who lived for no other Purpofe than to love him ; whofc ardent Vows to Hea- ven had only for their Objedt the Happi- nefs of this cruel — Ah! Let him weep How ought he to reproach himfelf?-- That faithful Friend may abap.don him without being inhuman or unjuji — Infolcnt Suppil- cator I He does not believe hlmfclf unworthy F 5 the 1 i^ 'if* (A n r? i "^mh Till t 1'' -i:'f m 139 LETTER XXI. the Favour he ^j-- Examine wtrll the Style of his Letter Sh.ill I reply to i: ? — I know not— -What ran I fay no him ? -—But I feel myfeif difordered— I cannot go on-— My Dear, my amiable Friend, why did I leave you, and at a Time when I hud fuch need of your Counfels ? My Lord O^ry Was the Caufe Alas ! Have I ever known an AffliAion of which he was not the Source ? hi LET- J ) ♦■ 1 131 ] i I % *m LETTER XXIl. Monday^ Winches tsr. 4. . - * . . ' T AM j;ct in Sufpence what I ought to do : ^ the oftener I read Lord OJj'orfs Letter, the more am I enraged againft him. Be- caiife I am capable of a juft Refentm^nt, my Soul is no longer the fame ^ he once kmw it: a mean Condefcenfion would, in his Opinion, become me better than what he is plcaled to call, an inhuman Cruelty. O, my Dear Henrietta^ thefc Men re- gard us merely as Beings placed in the Uni- vtrfe foMhcir Amufemfntj to tnflc with, F 6 in Ml I J"., I i 132 LET TE R XXII. in that Species of Infancy, to which they are reduced by thofe impetuous Paflions, wjbich thfy refcrve to themfelves the infa- mous Liberty of avowing with Confidence, and fubmitting to without Shame. They have left to that Sex they prefume to de- fpife as weak and irrefolute, the difficult Taflc of refifting the fofter Impulfcs of the Heart, of conquering Nature herfclf. Slave* to their Senfes alone, when they appear to be fo to our Charms; it is for themfelves they purfue, for themfelves they addrefs us : they confidcr only the Pleafures ^c are capable of bellowing: they withold their Efteem from the Objefl: of their pretended Adorations ; and if they find in us Strength of Mind, and Dignity of Sentiments, we are inhuman Creatures : we pafs the Limits their Tyranny has prefcribed to us, and become unjuji without kngwing it* LETTER XXII. ^33 I AM piqued — I will anfwer him — I will wait however till the Bitterncfs which I cannot hide, is a little moderated — - I will not fee him — I will never fee him — I will endeavour not to write with Severity, that I may remit to Lord OJfory, who ought to be indifferent to me, Part of th^ Offences of a Lover, whom it is my Duty to hate% ——No, there is not an Expreffion in his Letter which does not wound my very Soul \ — I know net of what Kind are thofe Wrongs How can he lay this? Has he not betrayed me, quitted, aban- doned me ? Has he not deft roved my dear- cll Hopes? Has he not deprived me — ^ — Alas! of himfelf, of the only Objed of my tender Attachment ! Has he not done me all the Injury that was in his Power? And is it poflible I can pardon him ? Why had I not Rcfolution to tear his Letter the Moment ) •■ ■i' ■•■''ij % .;j'- .■ ■ it t J4 1 IW' H n HH ^t' '>■> 134 LET T E R XXII. Moment I faw the Hand? Why, muft he--! This ungrateful Man has made ic his whole Happinefs to trouble, to dcftroy mine. ^^WkI' W§ M "vKKL.^Kvmh Mil ni H LETTER XXIII. Monday, paji Midnight. WOULD you believe it, my Dear Henriettay I cannot wrue to Lord OJfory, 1 have twenty Times begun a very ihort Letter, without being able to Bni(h it* Every thing which I would wilh not to fay, offers itfclf readily to my Mind; Reproaches flow fpontaneoufly from my Pen: I ftudy to fecm indifferent, and my Senfibility breakii out in fpite of me: no Expreffion, cither of Coidnefs orM^xie- racioa LETTER XXIII. 135 ration, pleafes me : My Heart, carried away by a rapid I.motic.n, pants to ex- p'ain iticif wriliout Dii^uile. I mufl: wait a iuile. ■h'^^':'U Two o^Clock* I SHALL never b able to write this An- fwer : I write, I crafe : After all, why do I torment myfJlf ? Is it neceffary I fhould write to him ? Perhaps it is, for he may interpret' my S lence a Confent to fee him — li he fhould come hither — So near as he may be He has no Eftate in this Country — Is it Chance, or the Defire to find me which brings him ? Do not, my Dear, ridicule my Anxiety ; do not fay, I love him Alas ! how is it pofTible I can ftiil love him, ? It is not Love which thus takes up all my Thoughts—It is — I know not what it isj bul^i am moft unhappy. I am mr :',? 'il» 1*^1 13^ LETTER XXIII. I am retiring to Bed ; but without Hope of finding Reft. Pity your tendereft Friend, pity her, without examining too deeply into the Caufe of her Sorrows : We have often agreed in pronouncing it Cruehy, to re- fufe Compaffion to thofe Mifcries, which may to us appear light and trifling: It is not the Species of Suit'ering, but the Senfibility of the Sufferer, which ought to excite our Pity: Alas! I am then very worthy of yours. LET. [ U7 ] ■i LETTER XXIV. Tuefdayy Winchester. IENCLOSE a Copy of my Anfwer. I ne- ver knew before thcDifficulty of writing, when one wifhes to ufc a Language foreign to the Heart : it is an oppreffive Burden, /rom which I am at laft relieved. Could you believe, that, during the Hour which has pad fince my Letter was difpatched, I have twenty times wiftied it were poflible to recall it ? I am afraid that it is too difoblig- ing .-- *That it may afflift him. 1 have read his again with Attention : It appears to mc in a new Light: Thofe very Expreffions that excited my Anger, now move my ten- dered r,,/ii mM. 138 L E T T E R XXIV. dercft Compaffion: How affefting is that PafTage where he fpeaks of my Lettcis ! He frejjed them to his Lips^ they were his only Confolation-— Bat what were then his Sor- rowb? His Extle! .— If he had loved me — Ah! how could he have wedded an- other, if his Heart — I can comprehend nothing -- He fays he is unhappy— I would not think he is indeed fo— - Alas! if he had fufFered as I have done — had tafted tliat bitter Cup, had felt fuch unutterable An- guifii! — how fhould I pity him f How eafily would my Fride.yidd to theSweetnefs of confoling him, iof reftoring Joy to his Soul ! My Tears begin to flow 5 they will not be reftrained, I cannot fupport the Idea of his Grief, of thofe never-ceafing Sorrows of which he fpeaks. Though Reflexion ought to convince me they have never in Rtality cxifted, they prefent themfelves every Moment to my Imagination; and though T jTI LETTER XXIV. 159 though Reafon itjt&s thepleafingDelufion^ my Heart too eaGly gives it Admittance. To Lord O S S O R Y. I NEITHER expefted your Complaints, my Lord, nor the Requefl: which accom- panies them: The Time in which an Ex- planation of your Corduft was interefting to me, has long been paft : If it fometimes finds a Place in my Thoughts, it is like the Remembrance of a painful Dream, which the Morning diflipates, and of which one only retains a melancholy and confufed Ide^. It is of little Confequcnce to me to know the Motives which engaged you to reftore me to Reafon and myfelf ; it is fufficient for me that you did fo. I do not think I depart at all from my Charadler, in refusing to fee you, in refufmg it in the moft deter* mined Manner. 1 can never regard you as a Friend, .11 i' '4'" 140 L E T T E R XXIV. a Friend, to whom I am obliged to remit fuch Offences as are neither pardonable in a Friend nor a Lover. Ou^ht he, who could abandon me fo long to the uncertain Conjedures of my own tortured Mind, to the Sufpicions which I could not but enter- tain of his Tendernefs, and his Probity, to beaftoniflied at my Indifference? Has lie a Right to reproach me ? Why fhould I feek to know the Circumftaices of my Wrongs, when I cannot doubt of the Fadls? I know enough to make me perfectly care- lefs as to thofe Particulars, I may yet be ig- norant of: I expeft from the Complaifance I have forced myfelf to fhow in writing to you, a Favour which I have a Right to de- mand. Give me back, my Lord, thofe Letters, the Style of which recals to your Memory, thofe Sentiments which I blufli ever to have felt, and do not complain of a Heart LETTER XXIV. 141 Heart which has been noble enough never to complain of yours. Don't you find, my Dear Henrietta^ a Species of Falfliocd in this Manner of writ- ing? It is indeed^ what I ought to think, but it is not what I do think. That haugh- ty Indifference is not in my Heart •, I am forry I have fent this Letter — Why fhould I diffcmble? Would it not have been bet- ter to have fpoke fincerely, to have confeffed the real Situation of my Soul in regard to [ him ? To have faid, I perhaps love you Jiill^ but I no longer efteem you: I renounce you\ the Conftancy of my Sentiments is no Proof that I believe you worthy of my Attachment : it is in my natural Chara^er j the indelible Fea* tares of which have engraven on my Soul a JVeaknrfs^ which once was dear to me^ and of which I fiill love the RemembrajKe : It does not depend on you^ but on the lively Imprejfwns which '1 i '■}i\. Ht [I * f -I'M!'.; 'W :, 1 :.::i!l Ijli _ I 142 LETTER XXIV. which my Heart has received. Like one wh$ beholds his own Image with Complacency^ artd takes Delight in contemplating the0hje5t^ with" out thinking of the Glafi ivhich prefcnts it to View^ fo I pleafe my f elf w'th recalling the Idea of my LovCy without thinking with the leafi Degree of Pleafure of my unworthy Lover. This had been more noble, more open and generous, I wifti I had done ir. I hate Diflimulation, I hate even the Appearance of it. But the Letter is gone—- 1 have long loft the Habit of being pleafed with my- felf -, Regret fccms attached to every Step I take. Of all thofc good Qualities^ I once fancied myfelf Miftrcfs of, there only re- mains the Knowledge of my Faults : and of all thofe Blcffings I once promifed myfelf, your Friend fliip is the only true and real one I poffcfs. LET^ II >^im t^mtmmmitm H [ 143 ] '1 LETTER XXV. Wednefday^ Winchester. CERTAiNLV, my Dear, my Head is a little difordered. I am unquiet, agi- tated : I count the Hours, the Moments ; Time feems to me uncommonly long. I expeft, without Icnowing what I expeft. The leaft Noife fets me a tremWino*- if my Door opens, my Heart beats. Every Time my Servants pafs in or out of my Apartment, I look at them with Eyes which fcem to require fomething of them : I hear a tedious Repetition of, What would n^ Lady have? Ah ! Good God ! Your Lady life' ^A [144 LETTER XXV. Lady knows not what fhe would have — - Can you divine, my deareft Henrietta^ the Gaufe of all this Emotion ? O how low, how mean, how fliamjful is it ! — - It is the Expedation ot an Anfwer — No, I cannot fufFcr myfelf to betray fuch Weaknefs. I WISH to leave this Place, to fly from fo dangerous a Neighbourhood : yet if my Lord Ojfory is determined to fee me, to fpcak to me, where can I be fecure againft this obftinate Refolution ? He will find a Way to fatisfy it ; he may obtain from Chance, perhaps from my Weaknefs, the Converfation he fo preflingly demands : Are Men ever weary of any Purfuit in which their Caprice engages them ? They are ne- ver humbled by our Repulfcs ; this is one of the Advantages rhey referve to themftlves. Has a Woman the Misfortune to love, to love too tenderly? Does flic grow weary of ^ . LETTER XXV. 145 oF her Lover? What Reproaches, what Pcrfecutions is (he not obliged to fiuTer? She may banifli him ; but he returns, he feeks her every where, he purfues herj he complains, threatens, befeeches, fighs, aban- dons himfelf to his Paffion ; being heard; is a Confolation he will not rcfufe himfelf. He is very little anxious, whether this Con - duft gives Uneafinefs or Difguft : his Soul is not delicate enough to be wounded by the Idea of becoming importunate. Attentive to himfelf only, nothing can make him re- nounce a Good of which he flatters himfelf with the Poflcflion 5 and often, by the Force of Obftinacy, he obtains, if not the Heart, at lead the Perfon, the ftrongeft Objeft of his Attachment. He, when he finds his Chain heavy, breaks it, and abandons us without Pity : he fees not our Tears, he hears not our Complaints. Our native Softnefs, a decent Pride,force us to hide gqr Sorrows. G ^Ahl ): « r t '4 !. 'M \'-' m 1 * ^», '■ ii ; ■ .'t U la m.! !( I M f 146 LETTER XXV. i — Ah ! how is it poflible we can be fo weak to give up our Hearts ! Love is to us the Source of fo much .Wretched nefs — A Re- flexion ftrikcs me, my Dear; it is that I muft certainly weary you : I tell you myThoughts as they rife, and Heaven knows they contain c nt)thing amufing — O, how difpleafed am I with myfelf, how little pleafed with others! ' — There is Sir Harry, who has the Vapours, and fwoons away like a Woman. He wsls with me this Morning ; his Vertigos feized him i 1 knew not what to do to bring him to himfelf. I could find nothing but a Battle of perfumed Water ^ I threw it all on his Face : his Sifter cried out, I fliould poifon him — I hope he will come here no more 5 at leaft, that he will find fome other Place to faint in. Adieu ! !l 1 LET* C H7 ] LETTER XXVI. « ^hurfday^ Winchesterj NOTHING yet from my Lord Offoiy. Nbt anfwer me! It becomes him well to behave with Haughtinefs — He is difpleaftd, perhaps ~— Was my Letter fo cruel ? —The vain Creature cannot fupport the Style of Indifference from a Woman who once exprefled fuch Tendernefs for him i that of Hatred would have ofFendfed him lefs -^ Ah ! if I was to write to him at prefcnt — But no more, let us not think of him. I HAVE received two Letters from my Lord Cafik-Cary\ he complains of you. G 2 I will fi ' :M-.i\ I 1V :!li ' *' t48 LETTER XXVI. I will tell him, he is in the wrong ; btit to you, I muft fay, he has Reafon for his Complaints. You laugh at his Jcaloufy: You are to blame : If you had ever felt it's Horrors, you would not allow yourfelf to imbitter his Torments by thcfe Pleafantries, [With a tender and generous Nature, is it poflible you can ridicule an involuntary E- dmotion, which affefls the Soul with fuch ex- quifite Sorrow ? It is a Felly, you fay, and an Extravagance; It may be fo, but it is a Folly which wounds one to Defperation. I is in the Anguifli of a Man who adores her^ that Lady Henrietta finds Amufement : He §ught to he Jure of your Tendernefs^ to Mow yoUi to believe y.ou. Does Love then liften to Reafon ? JBy refle<5ting on my own Sen- timents, I have, - perhaps, acquired fome little Knowledge of the human Heart. She, my Dear, who can laugh at the Inquietude, at the -Sorrow of a Man who is attached to her^ LETTER XIV. i4c> her, either no longer loves him, or deceiv- ed herfdf when (he imagined fhe ever loved him. Th e Anguifli of a Lover cannot be in- different to a Miftrefs, who returns his Paf- fion ; fhe is afflidled, becaufe he is fad 5 fhe weeps, becaufe his Tears flow : She feeks to calm, to difTipate, the Chagrins which (he partakes — Ah! how can one give thofe Pains, and render them yet more bitter by Railleries, by a Gaiety, that — Fie, Hen^ rietta I Fie ! You have retarded my Lord Cqfile-Cary^s Happinefs : Soften at leaft this tedious Time of Expeftation, by a Com- plaifance which you owe to the Sincerity and Warmth of his AfTeftion. I love him i you know it : and your Faults may fall a little upon me. He writes me Letters of four Pages, all filled with your Cruelties : G 3 yoii ii ■ f mf > •■•. I ; i' ' ' Ml J. '.m ■If"* 'I ■ . ' "'Hi ■ ,' 150 LETTER XXVI. you are angry with him, and he is wretch- ed. Pardon him for your Friend's fake. He does not wilh to hide you from the World ; he defires to have you admired : Appear, Ihow yourfelF, go every where, he confents to it : Be lovely in the Eyes of all Mankind ; but do not value yourfelf on being fo in any Eyes but his. Adieu ! he defires me to chide you ; I do chide you j but I do not love you the lefs. i'ii LET C 151 ] id LETTER XXVII. Friday^ Winchester; MY Lord Ojory^s Letter has touched you : You think my Anfwer tod haughty ; you do not approve this Etxcefs of Severity — Go on, my Dear, add to my Un- eafinefs. I admire with what Eafe we adapt every thing to our own prefent Sentiments : you had juft forgiven my Lord Cajile Cary. when you fat down to write. Softened by the Pleafures ot a tender Reconciliation, you think I ought to pardon alfo; that it is Cruelty not to pardon. Yoii fentreat me, you conjure me to hear my Lord OJfory, If I was inclined to give you that Proof of Complaifance, is it in my Power ? — How G 4 can :l-f i Jf: r 15a LETTER XXVII. can I liften to him! He no longer defires to be heard — You pity him ! Can you then believe, that after his Defcrtion of mc, after his Marriage, and two Years of For- getfulneft, my Indifference ha& Power to afBidl him !— He wifbed only to try me: his Vanity perfuaded him, I ftill loved himj that his leaft Conceffions would deftroy my Refolutions. Without doubt, his offering to juftify himfelf, was fufHcient to efface the Remembrance of his Perfidy, of a Treachery of the blackeft Kind *, I ought to have flown to receive the Heart he deigned to reflore to me : fo valuable a Bleffing merited my eager Acceptance •, my Gratitude,perhaps — Infupportable Infolence of Men ! Intole- rable Pride! — I ought, however, to thank my Lord Ojfory, his laft Caprice has beer> of more Service to me than Time or Rea- fon : it has deftroyed the Remains of that Inclination^ Over which I feared I could ne- ver ^Mm- LETTER XXVII. 153 ver have triumphed : I could not till now think of this Ingrate without Tendernefs ; at prefent I could behold him, without the lead Emotion-, I am tranquil! : I no longer fear his Sight, his Importunities : Is not this the very Point I have fo ardently wifli- ed to arrive at ? — With what Cruelty has he fought to difturb my Peace of Mind, to rekindle that Love which he was never wor* thy to infpire me with ? From whence comes it then that I ever loved him withfuch Fond- nefs ? I have been looking at his Pifture this Mornings I held it above an Hour in my Hand ^ I contemplated it without being a&edled : I am even aftonifhed at my former Attachment. Why has that Image alone had Power over my Heart? What is there in him fo fcducing ? What Delufion lent fuch Charms to that Countenance ? Where are thofe Graces which I admired in thofe • G 5 Fea- .1 (."• ) . 1 ■ m rV '4 ■ c if' .:i,p 1,1..' **'f 11 I 154 LETTER XXVir. Features? — O, my Dt2iV Henrietta! our Prcpoffefllon makes all the Merit of the Objeft we prefer to others : it adorns the Idol of our Hearts ; it gives him every Day fome new Ornament. By Degrees, the Splendor, in which we have clothed him, dazzles ourfelves, impofcs on us, feduces us ; and we foolifhly adore the Creature of our own Imagination. This Portrait, once fo dear, is that of a Deceiver : Alas! I long regarded it as the Reprefentation of a Being a^moft celeftial! — I cannot fee him ! — - I hate him - — I hate myfelf ' But I love you always. LET- I % [^55 ] LETTER XXVIII. Saturday, Winchester, YOU die with Defire, that Sir Harry fhould declare himfelf. Behold him declared, propofcd, and rejedled ! My Lady ited the fti :ft Co. Wilton pj lours, her Brother's Love, his Refpeft, the Silence he had impofed on himfelf for fear of difpleafing me *, and paffing from his Praifcs to mine, flie exprefled the moft obliging Dcfire of acquiring in me a Sifter as well as a Friend. You will judge of my Embarraffment, my Dear, and of the polite Evafions it forced me to make ufe of. I urged myDifguft almoft invincible to Mar- riage, fro.n the little Happinefs I had found G C in . ■ mm i|'-i*L„. '!# 156 LETTER XXVIII. in that State; my Infcnfibility to Lovej the Habit of a Liberty which I could not lofe wiihout Regret. Indeed, 1 do not make that Ufe of my Freedom, which at- taches moft Widows of my Age to the State; but it gives me the fame Species of Plea- fure which a Mifer feels in calculating his Riches : He enjoys the Bleffings which he knows he can procure, and pofleffes, in Ima- gination, all thofe which the Extent of his Fortune makes attainable. One Man only, faid I to her, could have determined me to facrifice this precious Liberty: no other will ever have the fame Afcendent over my Soul. Lady Wilton is fatisfied with the Reafons I have alledged ; but for Sir Harry ^ to whom flie has communicated my Senti- ments, he is very far from approving them. There is no living with him any longer ; he does not fpeak to me, does not look at me; contradifts every body ; fcolds other People's Servants, LETTER XXVIII. 157 Servants, drive^ away his own, breaks every thing he touches, throws down all he finds in his Way: goes like an Idiot acrofs the Par- terres, and coming back, in a Reverie, ftrikes his Head againft the Gate, which is fliut, a- ftonilhed to find himfelf ftoped — But how unjuft is this Sex ! Is their Humour a Law ? At what is Sir Harry angry ? Has he a Right to expeft his Will (hould determine mine ? I have loved one Creature of his Species — Ah ! that is fufficient— But I have a Letter from you — Alas! of what do you inform me! That Lady Egberth has quitted the Court, has refigned her Place— How I pity her! How her Misfortune touches me ? She is given up to Retirement, to Devotion, and it is my Lord Weftburfs Death which has caufed this great Change : a very extraordi- nary one, without doubt : no body had more Reafon to be attached to the World than this Lady — Ah ! my Dear! to lofe a Man (he loved '1 ■'..'1 \ f I 1 \ i^<« "fi' ■ wi^ii • #1 \ ■ 1 ^ ,-1, m Ij ■ I 158 LETTER XXVIII. loved fo fincercly ; that Ihe had ib long lov- ed i to have furmountcd fo many Obflacles j to be on the Point of efpoufing him, and to fee him fnatched from her in a Day, in a Moment, by an Accident— I cannot reftrain my Tears at this melancholy Event. But what Madnefs is it in Men of Rank to run tfie Hazard in thefe Races, of lofing with- out Honour, a Life dear to their Country, and which they ought only to expofe for it ^ Are ihey not refponfible to their Friends, their Relations who love them? Was he not fo to a Millrefs, who is plunged by the Lofs of him into Sorrow and Dcfpair? Poor Lady Egberth! her Situation, and the Re- flexions it has engaged you to make, have melted my Heart. Adieu ! LET- r ■t [ >59 ] f-« H m w LETTER XXIX. Sunday y Winchester, A H ! How fhull 1 tel( you ! How ex- JLjL prefs to you . — I fave 1 vStrcngth to write? — Alas! hov^ couh^ \ complain of him! — Henrietta! My Od'w Henrietta! He is ill, dangerouQy ill — Lord OjTcry is dying ! My God! He is dying See the Billet which I have juft received, To Lady GATES BY. I HAVE now b. ". a few Moments to live \ the Countenances of thofe about me, and the Refinance they make to my Will, affure me of it. It is with Difficulty I obtain Per- miffion A i6o LETTER XXIX. iniflion to write— Alas ! why have I fo much defired it! What^ have I to fay to you? You will hear with Pleafure, that the Ob- jeft of your Contempt, of your Averfion, has finifhed his wretched Days Ah ! Lady Calefy \ What Cruelty ! — But is this a Time to complain of it ! Pardon at leaft the Memory of an unhappy Lover ; I have never deceived you : I have loved you al- ways. Thofe I letters which you have de- manded of me with an Inflexibility, cf which I thought your Heart incapable, fhall be faithfully reftored to you afcer my Death. Do not. Madam, deprive me of them whilft I yet breathe. After his Death 1 Jhall hear with Pleafure — Can he believe this, can he ima- gine it ? — Ah ! Inhuman! 1 here remain- ed only this Blow — 111 ! dying, perhaps — . Alas ! where is he ? With whom ? In what Hands !— I- LETTER XXIX. i6i Hands ! — Has he Advice ? — Is there any near him ? — O, this Anguifli is infupport- able. The Perfon who brought this fatal Billet, returned without Hopping, without waiting a Moment, without fpeaking a fingle Word. How fhall I find it out — Abandoned to my Fears, to the moft lively Inquietude -— Ah ! pity me ! My Heart is torn in Pieces. A feeble Hope dawns upon my Mind : I have fent to theHoufe where one of Lord OJforfs Servants paffed two or three Days, They aflure me, that Servant came from Sir Charles Halifaic*s^ who has lately bought an Eftate four Miles from hence. I have difpatched away7(;/&;/, with all pofTibleHafte, to inform himfelf if my Lord Ojfory is there, with Orders to ftay wherever he finds him, and fend me Meffengers continually, to let me know the State in which he is. In this fad Sufpenfe, ^•^: :!. % f-K mrm %A U. t 1 '■^ g mi i6a LETTER XXIX. Sufpenfe, my Eyes and Hands are raifed to Heaven : Lady Egberth is ever prefent to my Idea: I fear— All-powerful God! May my ardent Prayer reach thy awful Throne ! May it fufpend thy Decree! Vouchfafe at leaft to change the Objeft ! If the End of one of us, mull be the ternbJe warning Voice, to bring back to thee the erring Heart of the other. Ah! let it be me! Let my Death itkindle in his Soul that Love which is due to thee alone ! O, my Dear Henrietta ! if he dies, you have ;.o longer a Friend, IH' w h E T- [ 1^3] LETTER XXX. Tuefday^ Winchesthr* HE is a little better ; but his Fever is conftant and violent j happily, the mod dangerous Symptoms have left him thefe two Days. He has yet Moments of Delirium, in which he is very reftlefs. Alas! he is" not out of Danger! I did not write to you Yefterday \ I can now fcarce hold my Pen J I am not myfelf; I have not tailed Food. Shut up in my Chamber, I admit no body ; it is impoffible for me either to liften to, or to anfwer any one. They direft- cd me very well : my Lord OJfory is at Sir Charks \^< m il»« I In ■•'f. I '''sir ■ % t-fi if "f:. i -"• 4' ■^ ■ I ) t i'l i- '«'« I 'IBI 1 wa I; lid IsB 122 LETTER XXX. Charles Halifax's^ in the midft of as good Affiftance as London itfelf could have pro- cured him. By a happy Chance, Dr. Har* rifon is in the Country; he is with him. John has wrote mc Word, that when he arrived, he found the whole Family in Tears. Alas! I believe him. Who can know my Lord OJfory^ and not feel for him ? How is it poffible to avoid loving him ? So noble in his Manners, fo [^entle, fo benevolent ; the good Qualities of his Soul are painted on his Countenance j he conquers all Hearts : I never heard him mentioned, without an Encomium following his Name. What Man ever more amiably joined true Dignity with good Nature, with that Familiarity which is not afraid to condefcend, and which im- prelTes more deeply that Refpeft it feems to fefign all Claim to? Who but muft la- ment, that a Being fo worthy to exilt, is going, perhaps, ta perifli — I expeft with Fear, 1. E T T E R XXX. 1^5 Fear, with Impatience— But fome body en- quires for my Woman! — Ah! whatHappi- nefs! — A tranqml Nighty five Hours Sleep, no Diliriumy the Fever conftderably abated: Dr, Harrifon will anfwer for his Life^ and even for his quick Recovery. O, my tender, my fincere Friend ! Give me Joy ! I blefs God, whofe Goodnefs'has reftored him to me — Tears of Pleafure fill my Eyes — Ah ! may he live ! May he be happy ! May every Bleffing he defires be hia- Portion ! Ami- able and dear Offory, thou accufeft me of Cruelty ! That thou couldft read my Heart, ^nd hear the Vows it offers up for thee ! How cruel are the Forms which keep me here ! Why is it not allowed me to fly to thee! To partake, to foften all thy Pains! to bathe thy Face with thofe Tears, which are drawn from me by that eternal Fond- nefs. which attaches me to thee ! Ah ! re- kindle all thy Hopes! She, whom thou loveft, 'It iE . i lit 166 LETTER XXX. loveft, is not cruel, fhe is not inhurnan ; flic will pardon thee, fee thee, love thee!— .Ah! my God ! Whither does this lively Emotion carry me ! O, my good, my indulgent Friend ! Pardon my foolifli wandering — • I am not myfclf My Soul is hurried along — But I fee! myfelf burning — Dif- ordered I cannot hold up my Head ; my Eyes are heavy — •- Alas ! what is it that malces me thus ? Adieu ! he will live, my Dear ! My Prayers are granted. LET- t y^^^i ] **ta M T. *". LETTER XXXL Saturday^ Winchester. I HAVE palSed three Days [without writing to you, my Dear, and I am afraid my Silence has made you uneafy., I have had a fore Throat, a Fever, and my Pulfc very irregular : They bled me in fpite of my- feif. Sir Harry would not lofe this Op- portunity of fhewing his officious Zeal : he has taken PoffefTion of my Apartment j he does all the Honours of it : this Man is really good ; he is unhappy : He fome- times makes me pity him; but oftener wea- ries tfte with his Affiduity : I have a Heart too full of Senfibility not to compaffionatc his I M- Ak ■^■m ,' 0K i :i u„m i! 1^- W i68 L E T r E R XXXI. hts Love, though too much prepofTefTcd to return it. John is come back : Lord OJfory is up- on the Recovery, and they hope his Health will foon be quite re-e(lablifhed r I feel at prefent another kind of Inquietude from the Indifcretion of my MefTenger — But here is Abraham^ my Lord's Valet de Chambre My God, what can he want with me ? How my Heart flutters ! — So alarmed at one of his Servants ! What , Ihould I then be, if my Lord himfelf-— what Contradiftions reign in my weak Heart! A few Days fince I wilhed ardently to fee him, and now the Name only of his Ser- vant diforders me — He brings me a Let- ter — Poor Abraham ! He is fo overjoyed ' to fee me again, he cannot fpeak to me — But let me read his Letter It is with Difficuky LETTER XXXI. 169 Difficulty he has wrote it — He has been rery ilN- See, my Dear, what he fays. To Lady GATES BY. Have you then deigned, Madam, to intereft yourfelf in my Life? This Good- nefs touches me to the Soul. But do I owe it to your Compaflion alone, or to the feeble Remains of that tender Friendfhip — Alas! I fcarce dare flatter myfelf you preferve the nighteft Remembrance of it. — How fwcet would it be to me to think it not intirely cxtinguiflied ; to think it flill poffiblc the Ardor of my Heart might rekindle it in yours! But you will not hear me. Re- <:eive. Madam, my refpeftful Acknowledg- ments : without examining into the Nature of that Sentiment which has infpired you with fo generous a Concern for my Dan- H ger. KM •■•iiRiffiS 1; ; 176 LETTER XXXI. gcr, I ought to think myfelf bicft in hav- ing excited it. You fee he is no Stranger to the Anxiety I have been in for his Life. It is to John^ my impertinent Servant, I am obliged for thefe perplexing Acknowledgments. But I am forced to bid you Adieu : they wait for my Letter : I would not leave you a Day longer in Uncertainty of what had caufed my Silence ? I muft write an Anfwar for Abraham to take. Ah ! my Dear, of what Importance is that Aufwer ! i LET- t >7» 1 r.: LETTER XXXII. Sunday Winchester.' SEE, my Dear Henrietta^ into what an Embarraffment I am thrown by my Vivacity, by the Precipitation with which I fent away John^ without giving him Or- ders to conceal himfelf, without command- ing him not to mention my Name ! The imprudent Creature thought he could not execute his CommifTion better than by go- ing direftly to Sir Charles Halifax's^ en- quiring for Abraham^ telling him he came from me, and defiring Permiffion to place himfelf in Lord OJforfs Antichamber. My liiOrd, charmed to hear one of my Servants H 2 was 'i f. ♦.■ m ft H' Ml' « m 11' 172 LETTER XXXII. was fo near him, and r! at he came by my Orders, infifted on fee;; £; him : Mr.Job^y as he told me himfclf, received this CJ^- mand to enter, with great Pleafure : he an- fwered all my Lord's Queftions with great Exadlnefs : affured him, his Lady was more dead than alive when Jhe fent him ; that Jhe had a great deal of Friend/hip for his Lord- Jhipy and was fcarce fati.fed with three Ex^ jprejfes a Day^ which he had the Honour to fend her. If you had ften with what Satisfaftion this Idiot gave me an Account of his Com- miflion, how he applauded himfelf on the Wonders he had done! After all, I ought only to complain of my own Want of Fore- fight. I fent back Abraham Yefterday with- out any Anfwer : I excufed myfelf on Ac- count of the prefent Weaknefs of my Head. Alas! it is not that I moft fear : the Weak- nefs i LETTER XXXIL 175 ncfs of my Heart is what reftrains me — Abraham again — Another Letter — . I need not take the Pains to copy this : it i&almofl: exadlly the fame with the laft ; except the Addition of much Inquietude on Account of my Indifpofuion, which no longer exifts. See me. Madam, hear w^— Always the fame. I muft anfwer it ; but what Difficulty do I find in writing to him ! His zealous Mef- fenger tells Beliy he muft not return with- out a Letter. In proportion as my Fears for his Life vanifh, my Anger refumes it's Empire over n'fy Soul. I am forry Lord OJJory can no longer doubt that Friend fhip, of which he artfully pretends to be fo un- certain : By this Pretence he humours my Vanity ; his Addrefs does not efcape mc. O, thefe Men 1 thefe Men ! Obferve how they make their Advantage of every thing ! When all Means of fubduing our'Refolves H 3 feein I Hi m^:i ■• > ! II )74 LETTER XXXIL fccm to fail, an unforefeen Incident, Chance^. a Fit of Skknefsy brings them to the Point they had in View. We refufe to fee, to liften to them v we fancy all at an End, but their Rijfources are never exhaufted. When the difcarded Lover knows not how to pro- ceed otherwife, he has a Fever, my Dear j he has but a Moment to live ; he fills our Imagination with Terror; he reprefents himfelf in a Lights which cannot fail of foftening us ; he places before our Eyes the alarming Idea of his Death, of the DifTolu- tion of that enchanting Form which firft fe- duced our unguarded Hearts ; and the moft malignant Fever is not what kills him, no, '/is our Cruelly, Lord OJfory has forgot to fay that — But Jhabam waits -— - 1 ne- ver thought I had fo little Underftanding ;, I am quite at a Lofs what to fay — O, that: abominable John! Why did he not conceal him- ,m i| in f ' .f/i t LETTER XXXIi. 175 himfelf? But why do I talk thus idly !--Is not he who writes to me, the fame Lord OJfory, who has caufed me fueh exquifiteAfflidtions, who abandoned me at Hertford^ who marri- ed Fanny Montf or d? Are thefe Injuries leffen- ed ? No i but he has beenfck, I will write to him — I have wrote — I fliall not fend you a Copy of my Anfwer ; it is very fhort, very ftudied, and very bad. Adieu ! my DtdiX Henrietta! my Tendernefs for you i» always the fame* M 'm III. V ! I s ■ 1! : i: M " : ■Pi '1' i( ;?i--il-U'!ll 1 0n I *, ^ s H4 LET- t '76 ] • T- •> '•1? 1 LETTER XXXIir. Monday^ Winchester*. IC O M E from taking a Walk on the Banks of a Rivulet, which bathes the Walls of a Pavilion, where I go often to fee them fifh. As it was very early, I amufed myfelf with obferving acrofs the River fome young Country Girls, who were going with Bafkets of Flowers and Fruits, to the neigh- bouring Town. They fung, they laughed in their Boat -, they prefented the very Image of Joy, their Habits were neat, their Baf- kets prettily arranged. They wore large Straw Hats, Mnder which one is apt to fancy every Face handfome v they were really very agreeable. As the Boat went off, one bet- ter made than the reft, arrived \ fhe ap- H 5 peared mm \m^ LETTER XXXIII. 177 peared very melancholy, and without fliow- ing any Regret, becaufe they had not flayed for her •, (he fet down her Bafket upon a Heap of Gravel, and began to walk back- wards and forwards by the River-fide. I bid BeUy call her-, flie came to us-, I pur- chafed all her Nofegays, and afked her, why fhe did not fing like the others ? My Que- ftion moved her ; flie endeavoured to re- ftrain her Tears, and told me, with a moft charming Sincerity, that /he was ready to break her Heart ; that Mofes, one of my Lord Wilton's ^enants^ had made her die with Griefs Jhe and another: and that the Remembrance of that other made her fhed a great many Tears. The poor Child interefl- ed me, I would know all ; and here you have the Hiftory of my little Gardener. It is, that iWb/^^— Pray attend, my Dear~M(C^- fes is r^ wicked Mifer j he had agreed, that Tommy his Grandfoa ftiould marry Sally^ who » 'I. 'ii'iissij m si ■'.' ■;! r A. > ■^4 II '^ 178 LETTER XXXIIL who loves Tommy as jhe loves her Eyes. The Wedding-Day was fixed, the Clothes were bought, the Relations invited, the Fiddles befpoke ; and behold, a Letter which came Trom Oxford^ has induced Mofes to change his Mind, ^ommy^s Sifter is dead, and has left him feme Money, and the vile Mofer will not now accept 5^/^ for his Grandaugh- ter ; ' at leaft, not unlefs her Fortune is en- creafed in proportion ioTommy's Inheritance-r Sallfs Mother, who is very proud, has broke off the Match : and as Ihe is pretty high- fpirited, fiie will twift 5^//y'j Neck oflF, if fhe loves the Grandfon of that Jew Mofes \ and poor Sally muft have her Neck twijied off^ for fhe will always love him v and honeft Tommy will break his Heart tooy rather than renounce Sally. Between the Happinefs, and the Mi- fery, of thcfe fimple and tender Lovers, an hundred ^:. r d LETTER XXXIII. 179 hundred and fifty Guineas was an infur- mountable Barrier : I have removed it, my Dear : the Jew Mofes^ the proud Gardener^ hontHTommy^ and pretty Sally ^ are all agreed again, This Moment is one of thofe in which I have felt the Advantage of being rich : the Day after To-morrqw, I am to marry my amiable Villager, and I intend to- marry her with Splendor. I give a grand Supper,' an Illumination, Fire-works, and Mufick on the Water ; which will be fol- lowed by a Mafquerade, at which every body will be welcome. My Lord Wilton has lent me the Pavilion on the River ; it is large, finely ornamented, and very proper for my Defign. The Ladies are all enchanted with this Fealt : Sir Harry^ in fpite of his ill Hu' mour, is my Steward -, he receives my Or- ders with as much Gravity, as if he wasi taking out a Patent to be Prime Minifter. Lady Wilton^ and Sir James^ are to do the H 6 Honours :, :\^-''\ M U ili! iiii' i.lM ■X i iil I So LET T E R XXXIII. Honours of the Mafquerade ; Lady Sun- derland of the Supper; as to me, I fhall be" employed in obferving whether they acquit themfelves well of the Commiffions I have entrufted them with. I am gay, my Dear, I begin to refume my Tafte for Amufe- ments ; I will not examine the Caufe of this Alteration ; I fhould find it perhaps — Do not fancy, however; that Sally^s Marriage is a Pretence for celebrating the Recovery of poor Lord OJfory — Is it not thus you call him ? — John^ however, does not know; my Secret isfafe: Adieu! my Dear Hen* rietta! I wifli I could fee you dance at this^ BaJK iff m ijp ^. ' ' 1 ^' LET- m •""■■" [ i8il T- LETTER XXXIV. Tuefday, Winchestsr. ANOTHER Letter!' — A very exaft and a very dangerous Correfpondence : I have every Moment Occafion to remind my- felf that Lord OJfory has betrayed me. In fpite of this Remembrance, ^how fliall I refifl: the tender Emotions of my Heart ? They perfuade me to liften to him. But what can he fay ? His reiterated Offers to juftify himfelf, aftoniffi and offend me. Ah \ how is it poffible! He married; he has even a Daughter by this Marriage — They fay (he is called Julkt — Infoknt! To give my : 11^ ik 140 LETTER XXXIV. my Name to the Daughter of his Wife! Lady Arthur^ Aunt to the late Lady OJforyy has been here eight Daysj fhe talks con- tinually of the Graces and Beauty of this little Juliet : I never met with fo imper- tinent a Creature : but I will give you my Lord's Letter. f To Lady GATES BY. Alas ! Madam ! On what do you con- gratulate me? Of what Value to me is the Life which you refufe to make happy ? From you thefe cold Civilities ! Ah ! you could not afBidl me more fenfibly than by this infuItingPolitenefsj it is always attend- ed by Indifference. It is your Pity, your tender Pity, wliich is neceffary to my Peace j it is the Condefcenfion of one Day, one Hour, that I entreat of you. Will you not hear me ? Am I condemned without 4 Hope L E T T E R XXXIV. 183 Hope of Pardon ? Will you refufe me 3 Favour which is granted to the vilefl: Crimi- nals ? We have at lead been Frie^ds-^Do you then no longer remember you have given me a ftill fofter Name ? Our mutual Love, your Promifes, your tender Vows, are they all dFaced ? Recall Hertford to your Re-- membrance, my Dear, my adorable Juliet-^ It is a Man once honoured with your Ten- dernefs, who begs of you, upon his Knees^ one Moment's Converfation. By all that has Power to move you, I conjure you not to rejed my Prayer! Do nc'c continue to. afflifl: an unhappy Man, whofe Fate is in your Hands. No -, I will not give up, but with my Life^ the Hope of obtaining your generous Forgivcnefs. I have a Secret which I cannot reveal but to yourfelf : give me one Day, Madam ; in the Name of Heaven be not inexorable, Hl€ I ■■:iUc m \ ■ J n H^^D^w il: 1 ■ ; i i&Liiil i i«4 LETTER XXXIV. I SI V S' ,n^ hfli'Ji m.fi His D^^r, his adorable Juliet ; familiar enough, upon my Word : and you fee with whatObftinacy herefolvci to be heard. Ah! that Sicknefs ! In what has it ene;aKed me ? See him ! The very Idea of an Interview makes me tremble. But this Audacity of determining to fee me ! — How ftrangely re- folute! Ought he not to fly my very Looks ? "With what Face can he appear before me ? Have not I a Right to load him with Re- proaches ?— Yet be is not afraid to fee me f —.Whence comes it then that I am in Dread of him? I, who can lift up my Eyes to him with that noble Confidence, which is the Off- fpring of Integrity and Innocence } He bids me remember Hertford} Alas ! if he had feen me after his Departure, would he have dared to bid me remember it ^ He knows the Wrongs he has done me ; but how far is he from imagining how cxquifite- I LETTER XXXIV. 185 ly I have felt them ! Can he ever excufc that cruel Defertion ? Ah ! Why did he ever feign a Paflion for me ? Why does he yet feign it ? I had prepared myfelf with Plea- fure for the Entertainment I am to give ! This Letter comes to difturb my Joy, to embarrafs me, to revive the Memory of t*.ofe Hours A ^ ' nothing has had Power to efface it— You will perhaps laugh at my Cha- grins; you tell me I ougbi to havefeen him^ to have heard him^that alljljould be forgot. You» who have never had any thing to pardon but the flighteft Faults, a few Emotions of Jea- loufy, of Impatience, of ill Humour, per- haps, you think one may refolve in a Mo- ment ; that it is eafy to determine — I cannot comprehend that Hope of Pardon. My De- fign is not to afflift him : I would fee him, if I thought I could bear his Prefence: I woulU hear him, if it was poflible to excufe^r-But I will write to him this Moment. To \M I w 'km ■I \ *' * J -.■■', '.'If I IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) « /. 5fr >r ■ V L<>. 1.0 .I:"- I I.I 1.25 2.5 ^ I4S IIIIIM i.4 IIIIII.6 V] <^ /^ ^a /j > > ,>^ >i^'*" %' O 7 r ^ Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 Ui 186 LETTER XXXIV. %\ To Lord O S S O R Y. Wherefore, my Lord, fiiould I not have forgot long fincc, an Attachment I have found fuch Reafon to regret ? What fliould engage me to cherilh the Memory of the moft unfaithful of Men ? Have you not already made it your Requeft, I would forget you? How can you, without Confu- fion, endeavour to recall that Time, and thofe Scenes, to my Remembrance, which I cannot think of without hating you ? What Right have you now to afk my Friendfliip, after having made fo cruel a Retiirn to that 1 was once weak enough to feel for you ? If your Levity has reftored me to myfelf, you ought only to blame your own Hearts I am ignorant what new Caprice makes you affert that your Happinefs depends on the Converfation you aflc of me j but I cannot prevail M LETTER XXXIV.. li^ prevail on myfelf to grant it. So long ac- cuftomed to think I fliould never fee you again, it is impoflible for me to fupport even the Idea of your Prefence. If you have any Secrets it is neceffary you (hould communi- cate to me, I confent to your writing them: you may depend on my Secrecy, and on my Punftuality, in returning immediately what- ever you pleafe to write. To receive your Letters, my Lord, is the only Complaifance I can force myfelf to Ihew you. I AM ibiiy 1 iiave lent this Letter : they fay, that in. Lover's Quarrels, Reproaches are the Preliminaries of Peace. Adieu ! my amiable Henrietta ! Believe, I love you aK ways. i ', M,i I .. Si' % LETi [ x88 ] LETTER XXXV. ip If fVednefday—v\o — ^hurfday. Six in fhe Morning, OMy deareft Henrietta! How fhall I exprefs to you tbe Tumult, the Emo- tion of my Heart ! I have feen Uim — He has fpoke to me— It was himfelfr-He was at the Mafquerade — Yes, he — — My Lord OJfory Ah! tell me no mote of feeing him, of hearing him — I am now certain I am unable to bear the Prefence of that — I know not what Name to give him — Could ajy thing be more daring, or more impru- dent ? To expofe me thus — I think I hate LETTER XXXV. 189 hate him I wifli, notwithftanding, I had poffeffed more Power over myfelf— *I wi(h I had heard him. What is then this unknown Emotion, which drags me with irrefiftiblc Force, and compels me to adt contrary to my Will ? I muft go from hence ; I muft i return to London — It is not from Obftinacy, but from Neceffity, from Weaknefs, I fly Lord Ojfory, 1 muft refolvc to avoid him, fince I am not able to fee him with any De- gree of Tranquillity. The Day was already far advanced, when fatiguea with dancing, and weary of the Ball, I went to take the Air on the Terrace, which joins to the Pavilion. A Maflc in a Black Domino, who had followed me above an Hour, came and feated himfclf by my Side. In a Place fo fpacious, and where it was apparent I fought only Solitude, I thought it a little extraordinary he fliould chufe tF.V t !«: A -i I 'f- ,190 LETTER XXXV. chufe the very Seat on which I had placed myfelf, merely to be troublefomc; but judge of my Surprife, when feizing one of my Hands, and prefling it between his, he faid, in a faltering and paffionate Tone, Does LadyCsLttfhy then ftill delight in making others happy ? 1 was told that Species of Pleafure had no longer any Charms for her. The Sound of that known Voice penetrated the inmoft Recedes of my Soul : I knew him in- ftantly : Ah ! what other Man would have prefumed to take fuch a Liberty, to addrefs mc in fuch a Style— I would have fled from him ; he feized my Robe, and held me in my Place. At the fame Inftant, haftily. throwing off his Mafk, the Hood of his Do- mino fell oJ9F Ah! my Dear Henrietta! How lovely did he appear ! The Diforder of his Hair gave a new Grace to his Fea- tures i an Air paflTionate, animated — How difierent was the Effeft, which the Sight of that mm LETTER XXXV. 191 that amiable Countenance had on me, from what might have been expefted! I loft, that Moment, the Faculties of Sight and Hearing : a mortal Coldnefs feized me. I am ignorant what Lord OJfory faid to me, or how he affembled the Company about me : but when my Senfes returned, I found my- felf furrounded by an infinite Number of Perfons, amongft whom my Eyes in vain fought for Lord OJfory : I perceived him at laft at the farther End of the Terrace, from whence, as foon as he faw me perfedlly re- covered, he retired with Precipitation. The Ball is at an End, and I am now writing to you in Bed, full of Reflexion, of Uncafinefs. I know not how to a6t Adieu. i;p nn & 1 I LET. I 192 ] I i, LETTER XXXVI. Friday^ Winchester. I HAVE received fuch preffing Invitations from Lord Ofmond^ my Coufin and his Lordfhip continue to entreat me with fuch Earneftnefs to come to Hertford^ that I can- not long refift their Importunities. I know not why, but I feel my Repugnance to return thither greatly abated. I have mentioned my Defign here, and if I was Vain, fliould value myfelf highly on the Unwillingnefs which every body expreffes to part with me. Sir *James goes away at the fame time : as to poor . §ir iii?rTy,his Sorrow is inexprcflible j it gives me I I. I LETTER XXXVI. 19^ Tine extreme Pain : I hope my Abfence will be of Service to him. They tell us, my Dear, Abience is a falutary Remedy for Love i a violent one however, which the Patient takes with Dirguft, and which does not fucceed wiih all Conflitutions. I am coming nearer to you, my amiable Friend : what Pleafure do I find in that Thought ! After flaying fome Time at Hertford^ I (hall return to London^ and we will go to- gether to my pretty Houfe at Hampftead— Here is Abraham What a Packet he trings me ! all in my Lord's Hand — Per- mit me, my Dear, to leave you — I burn to read it — What is it he can fay to me ? You fhall know as foon as I have read ^he Packet over* r# )!' »i m ^^\ :•■! ft : iiif»: ' ' h "I. u 1 lilt' I ■ !■' M ■ P f '•? 1 m ;i54 LETTER XXVII. ^0 Lady CATESBY. TttE Adventure of the Ball has too well convinced me, Madam, how vain it is to hope from Chance, or my own Addrefs, the Happinefs of a Converfation with you. The Horror my Prefence gave you, the Condition in which I faw you, and the Grief I felt at being the Caufe, have deter- mined me to give up all Thoughts of ap- proaching you without your pofitive Com- mand. I confent to commit to Writing, what I intended to have related to you on Wednefdayy if you had been able to have favoured me with a Hearing, You engage to keep my Secret ; I know you too well to have the lead Doubt of your Difcretion : however, as it may be painful to you to conceal from Lady Henrietta^ a Story in which •f LETTER XXXVI. 19^ tvHch you are fo much Inrcrefted, I dif- pcnfe with your Promife of Secrecy in Fa- vour ot this Lady : Whoever is dear to yoUf acquires, by that Claim, a Right over my Heart: To me it is impoflible your Friend can be indifferent. Ah ! Lady Catejby ! if^ after reading thefe Papers, you are not in- clined to pardon me, you never loved him, whofe Paffion for you cannot end but with his Life. Mil >u'^' i *. mi f% ■r, < ■' LORD OSSORY. 203 fo foon to be my'Portion, when I received an Invitation to be p^efcnt at the Marriage of Lord Newport. I know not whether a Foreboding of my Misfortune encreafcd my Regret at parting from you, but I left Herh ford overwhelmed with Sorrow. Before L enter into the humiliating Detail of the fa- tal Adventure which feparated us, permit me to implore your Indulgence— But how can I hope to foften you, if I am no longer dear to you •, if my very Sight alarms you 5 * if that Heart, once fo fenfible to my lead In- quietude, is now for ever barred againft me? What repeated Vows do you betray, if the Care of my Happinefs no longer interefta ^ you ! Cannot the Remembrance of a^Paf- fion fo dear to us both, of thofe pure and ■ cxquifite Pleafures it once beftowed, re- kindle in your Bofom a Spark of that Fire which my feeming Infidelity has extirguilh- - I6> ed? ■ L ^1 m 4 p-jP ";f..|| i. ' :li!! ^04 HISTORY OF cd ? Ah ! Madam ! let Love again fpread a Veil before your Eyes, to hide from you my Fault, and only permit you to fee my Repentance. .ir I'M m I WAS returning to Hertford^ with all the Hafte and Impatience of a Lover, eager to tehold again the Objedl of all his Wifhes, when,on ihe Road, I happened to meet with Montford^ Bennett Anderfon^ Lindfey^ and feveral others, who had been my Acquain- tance at the Univerfity, except Montford^ who was my particular Friend, I had fcarce Icen any of them fince I left the College : they had flopped Abraham ^ who was a little before me, and when I. came to the Poft- houfe, where they waited for me, they infill- ed on (lopping me alfo. They were return- ing from Hunting, and were going to fup with Montfcrd, whofe Mother had a Houfe in LORD O S S O R Y. 205 in the Neighbourhood. It was impofTiblc tD refift their Entreaties, or, to fpeak with more Propriety, their Importunities : They obliged me to accept an Invitation which promifed little Amufement to a Man of my Temper, and robbed me of the Pieafure of arriving foon enough that Night at Hert- ford ^ to fee you even for a Moment. Thdc Hours were flolen from I.ove ; I loft them with inexprtflible Regret, and made the Sa- crifice with an extreme Repugnance. Mont" ford's Mother was gone,thac very Morning, to London •, wh thcr fhe was called by un- forefeen Bufinefs : thus our Supp.r became one of thofe noify and Hbertine Parties, from whence Order and Politenefs are banifhed 5 y/hich fomaimes end in ridiculous Wagers, and often, even in breaking to Pieces every Moveable in the Way, and cutting each others Throats amidft the Ruins. Difi2.uft fcizcd me during the firft Courfe \ it cn- creafcd f f :•' ' t ♦' '*! ^o6 HISTORY OF creafed every Moment: The infupportable Mirth of my Companions, in which I could not fliare ; the confufed Noife of their Voices, all fpeaking at the fame Time; and the unbounded Freedom of their Converfa- tion, made me curfe a thoufand times the Hour in which I was fo unfo. tunate to meet them. The Coolncfs I preferved in the midll of thrfe Madmen, added to the Dif. tafte tliey infpireJ me with. I perceived if, and willing to remove fome Part of the Horror I felt at my Situation, I fancied the only Means would be to lofe, like the reft, a Portion of my Reafon ; I could not now reach Hertford early enough to fee you \ I rcfolved therefore ro do as others did, and endeavour to partake of their foolifh and contemptible Gaiety; My Projefl fucceed- ed i 1 drank freely, and began foon to find my old Companions a little more fupport- able, Ths LORD OSSORY. 207- The Converfation turned on a Variety of Subjeds, none of which were purfued very far: It fell at laft on Women 5 ihey talked with more Vivacity than Decency : Some praifed them in the ftiongeft Terms, others fjjoke of them with the mod illiberal Con- tempt. Lindfey^ naturally tender and polite, defended them with Warmth: He brought the whole Company over to his Opinion, that the Swcetnef- of being beloved by one, infinitely furpafled ihe malignant Pleafure of flandcring them all. We now vyed with each other in extolling thefe charming Be- ings, on whom Heaven has bellowed the Power of rendering us happy. One fpokc of their Beauty, the Charms of which have fuch an Empire over our Hearts; another txtolled their Wit, ftill more enchanting, the Finenefs of their Tafte, and the Delicacy of their Sentiments, Mcntford alone infift- « ed % I *<1 1 ft 208 HISTORY OF cd, that an uncultivated Underftanding, and ingenuous Modcfty, infinitely exceeded that Knowledge, andthofe AccompHfliments, on which Women of Condiiion value them- felves, and that the moft fimple were the mod amiible : The Point was warmly dif- puted ', he perfifted ; and to prove the Truth of what he advanced, fent Orders to his Sif- ter's Governefs to join the Company with her lovely Charge. A Man muft have been as little capable of Reflexion as he then was, to think of txpofing a Sifter to the Impro- priety of app aring in the mid ft of ten or twelve young Libertines, flufhed with Wine,, and little in a Condition to recolledl what they owed to her Rank, her Svx, her bloom- ing Seafon of Life. Whilft we waited in Expedlation of her Entrance, Montford in- formed us, that fhe came only the preceding Day from the School, in which flic had been educated \ he expreffcd the moft lively Friend- im- in in- ling ,ad id. LORD O S S O R Y. 209 Fricndfhip for her, and affured us no body could be more fimgle, or more amiable. The young Lady came, to confiiim by her Prefence, the Praifes her Brother had lavifli- cd on her ingenuous Simplicity : her Air expreffed her Charafter ; foft, modeft, un- aflfefled : a noble Form, graceful in all it*s Motions, compenfated for the want of per- fed Symmetry : She had all thofe Charms which accompany the firft Bloom of Youth ; and her Features, without being regularly beautiful, were all together infinitely attrac- tive. She placed herfelf by her Brother, and in Obedience to his repeated Com- mands, pledged his Friends ia thofe Healths which they all at once eagerly propofed to her. Her Prefence having re-animated their Joy, it was happy for her that her extreme Simplicity made her ignorant of the Tranf- ports fhe excited, and of the Expreffions in which they magnified her Charms. Bennet tool? ' .1^ ':1: Vy ''I t/ 210 HISTORY OF took Charge of the Govcrnefs, and foon rendereti her incapable of atremling to the Care of her loveFy Pupil,. Mifs Montford^ weary of a kind of Converfation to which ihewas not accuflomed, infifkd on Leave to retire: flie obuined it, thcu-^h with Diffi- culty, and quitted us with much greater Pkafure than (he had fclcat coming amongft us. Some Moments after, dillrafted with Noife, and fainting with exceffive Heat, I rofe up to go into the Air, of which I had never more Occafion: I walked through^ the Hall, and found myfelf in a Paffige, in which there was no Light : I obferved one at fome Diftance, and diredting my Steps that Way, traverfed a long Gallery of Pic- tures, at the End of which, I came to a large Clofer, where I perceived a Woman alone : I had not Time to diftinguifh who fhe was 5 rifing up haftily, fhe threw down a little Table, on which flood a Candle, which went LORD OSSOKY. 211 went out in the Fall, By the Sound of her Voice, and her Qucftioii*?, I knew it to be Mfs Monifcrd : I told her who I was, and begged the Favour of her to direft me to the Garden, where 1 was going to walk for the Air : She told me ihe would ring imme- diately for a Light ; but in the profound Darknefs we wt re in, it was impoflible ta find the String of the Bell, the Apartment being almoft as new to her as to myfelf; She flrovc however to recolle6l where the Chimney was placed, and we both took a great deal of Pains to find it. My Embar- raffment, and the ill Succefs of our Searches, appeared ridiculous to her ; (he laughed fo heartily at our Diftrcfs, that her Gaiety ex- cited mine. The young Lady was not much more herfcif than I was ; fhe called, but in vain ; the Servants were at too great a Dillance to hear us : As we walked at random. B^ J 112 HISTGTY OF random, we flruck our Heads againft each other i Mifs Mcntford redoubled her Lauglji- ter, ridic uled niy Uneafin-fs, and by a thou- fand chiidifh Pleafantries, forced me to laugh lillb. Determine d both of us, how- ever, to pjt an Lnd to this Scene, we. agreed to give up all Hopes of making ourfelves heard, and to endeavour to find a Door into another Gallery, which led to the Garden. Mifs Montford took me by the Hand, and going from one Chair to another, found the Place where fhe was fitting whea I entered the Clofet : She told nae, the Door was then dircdlly oppofue to us; flie advanced, and I followed her.:, unhappily fhe entangled herfelf in the Table fhe had before thrown down, and fell widi Violence to theGround; her Fall occafioned mine ; I. was alarmed for her, but her repeated Burfts of Lauglv- te;r, foon convinced me fbe was not hurt. The \ each -augl?- i thou- me to > how- agreed arfelves >or into jarden. id, and und the entered as then d, and angled hrown oundj Harmed .aughi- hurt. The LORD OSSOR Y. ixij The Excefs of her Mirth had an extraordi- nary Effeft on me: it infpired me with a Prefumption fatal to us both : The Intoxi- cation of my Reafon communicated itfclf to my Heart: abandoned to my Senles, I forgot my Love, my Probity, the Laws of Honour, which had always been facred to me, the Sifter of my Friend : A Woman whom I ought to have refpecfled, appeared to me at that Inftant, only as a Female de- livered up to my Wiflies, to that grofs Paf- fion which has its. Source in Inftin• Scarce was this Moment of Madneft palled) when Reafon. refuming all its Rights, '( V'.'A. ' :ll ii. W] >i.\: ■ f . 'i ?. tt4 HISTORY OF I faw my Fault Jn its full Extent: the un« happy Vi6lim of my Crime pierced the Air with her Cries ; fhe groaned, fhe wept, and by her juft Anguilh encrcafed mine, already too great for Expreffion. The Moon juft then began to rife, and her dawning Light enabled me to find that Door, the Search of which had been attended with Confequences fo fatal : Confufed, afhamed, in all the Wildnefs of Defpai , I thought of nothing but Flight : I went out of that Clofet, which infpiTcd me with Horror^ and paffing from the Garden into thie Courts where my Ser- vants waited, I ftept haftfly into my Chaife, and took the Rbad to Hertford^ pierced with the' mdffi pbi^nahf Son^owi which my ite- flexions rendered every Moment more iw' fupportablc- Joy than Surprife ; Lady Montford could not hope fo advantageous a Match for her Daughter; though of a Family which might entitle her to a Rank equal to what I offered to raife her to, yet her moderate Fortune feemed to forbid fuch a Hope. Her Mother conduc- ed me to her Apartment, and introduced me as a Lover who was foon to become her Hufband. Mifs Montford' s Face was fpread with Bludies at feeing me, fhc caft: down her Eyes, and regarded me with a melan- choly and timid Countenance. As is cuf- tomary on thefe Occafions, we were left to- gether •, Shame arid Reijiorfe threw me at her Feet, Gratirude made her fal) at nine:, neither of us poffeiled the Power of Voice ;, Sighs and Tears were the only ExpreffionS' of our Hearts. I fixed a Day with Lady . Montford for figning the Marriage- Articles,, K 3 and. Mir i 222 HISTORY OF Mid pretending prefling and indifpenfable Bufinefs> parted in hade for London. I REACHED my Houfe in an Agony, not to be conceived : I was pierced to the Soul ■with my own Sorrow, and yet more with that which I imagined you would feel. As 1 entered my Clofet, a Drawing done by your Hand, (truck my Sight; I cculd no longer refift the violent Emotions of my Heart : I gave myfelf up to Rage, and ut* tered Exclamations, which drf.w all my Scf- vants around mc : a kind oi Frenzy de- prived mc of my Senfes: during a long Time, I knew nothing that happened ta me ; I was infenfible of my lllnefs, and of my Danger. My Spirits, enfeebled by the Violence of my Tranfports, and by the Me- dicines which were given me, had reduced mc to the Weaknefs of Infancy, Montford never ;#■■ LORD OSSOR Y. 223 nevtr quitted mc •, what he had been told of my Intentions in regard to his Sifter, re- doubled his Attachment, and rendered his Cares more tender, and more attentive : he applauded himfeU on the Caprice which in- clined him to make her appear at that Sup- per; he fancied fhe had then infpired me with Love, and this Belief filled him witli Tranfport : his Difcourfes on this hubjeft, gave a new Poignancy to my Sorrows. I recovered at length, and nKirriedMirsM?»/- ford. What Difficulty had T to reftrain my Tears at the Foot of that Altar, where it was fuppofed I had received from the Hands , of Heaven the only Companioii who could make my Life happy ! After having thus.' torn me from her who only has that Poweri indulgent Heaven is willing to reftore her to me : but fhe is changed •, fhe is become • haughty, inhuman, unrelenting; Ihe wilt notpnrdon me. K 4 I LEFT ^ 'G 224 HISTORY OF I LEFT London for 'Derby (hire^ whither I conduced a Wife, young, foft, tender, grateful, perhaps amiable \ but /he was not Lady Cc.iejby\ fhc was not the dear Obj eft my Heart had made Choice of ^ whom \ muft: always love, but to whom I could now only dedicate Sighs, Tears, and a fruitlefs and unprofitable Regret. f • - ■• . ■ Lady Offory was delivered of a Daugh- ter-, the Sight of her gave me the firft E- motion of Joy, which I had felt fince I left you. Amiable little Innocence I How often have I bathed her with my Tears, whilft I applauded myfelf on having at leaft fulfilled my Duty towards her. Ah ! what Tender- r^afs would fhe not owe her Father, if fhe knew at what a Price he had given her a Right to call him by that Name ! 1 PASSED LORD O S S O R Y. 225 I PASSED whole Days in the Woods ta avoid l/ady OJfcry, I feared her Prefence j . her amiable Attention to pleafe, was irk- fome to me: 1 had all the Regard for her which FriwFidfhip demanded, but none of the tender Solicitudes of Love : I owed her both notwiihilanding; but how could I give to her a Heart you had already entire Poffcfllon of?' Confcious I ought to make amends by my-Generofity for the Coldnefs of my Sentiments, and ever ready to pro- ciue for her Pleafures which I was incapable of partakinf,. I gave her Balls and Enter- tainments, I loaded her wiih Prefcnts; fiie difpofed as (lie pleafed of my Fortune; it was all lavifhed on her, even to Profufion : file feenied facisfied, and I believed her hap- py •, Time difcovered to m^ flie was no more fo.than myfelf. K5 SoMF (I- 1'! .^^ V-< 'ti J! ■4 !',Bra T'l 1:1 It 2i6 HISTORY OF Sometimes I had an Inclination to write to you, to open my whole Soul, and inform y6u of my Reafons for a Marriage which muft have furprifed you fo greatly. But it was my Wife, the Mother of my lovely Tn- fant, whofc Weaknefs I muft have dilclofed. Ah ! how could I tonfefs to you there had been a Moment of my Life in which I had forgot 1 loved you ? In which I had failed in that Probity, on which the Edeem you had honoured me with was founded! Lord Prejion^ my Friend from rny Infancy, was alone emrufled wiih the Secret of my Paf- lioa for you ; he knew it even before your- fclf: to him I addrcfTed myfelf to make En- quiries about yvou. I heard from him that ■you continued at Hertford^ where you were plunged in Grief for the Death of your Broiher — . Ah! Pardon to a defpairing Paf- fion, the ftrange Contrariety of its Wiflies I What LORD OSS OR Y. 2^7 What would 1 not have given to have ren- dered you happy, to have rcftored Tranquil- lity to your Soul? And yet I felt a fecrct Pitafufe in thinking you were at Hertford^ that you were there alone, that you were afflidled ; that it was pofEble I might have a Right to feme Part of thofe preciousTears ; that, amidft the Sorrows due to the Lofs of a beloved Brother, a Sigh might fometimc* efcape towards a Lover who adored you. Your Return to Londcn^ gave me the moft * lively Inquietude : you received the Duke of Suffolk's Vifits; jealous,, unjuft, I trembled ltd he Ihould obtain a Bleffing to which it was no longer in my Power to pr6*« tend.. w > I *[ECEivED every Week a circumflan- ^ tial Detail of all your Aftrons : the Kind ' of indireft Correfpondence I feemed by this' Means to keep up with you, was the only '*" K 6 Pica- 228 H I S T O R Y OF Pleafure for which I had now the lead Re- lifh. How did thefe Details touch my Heart! How did they augment my Efteem, and my Attachment ! What Woman at your Age ever conducted herfelf with fo much Pru- dence ! or ever blended fo engagingly the mofl: auftere Wifdom, with the mod amiable Vivacity, and exafteft Knowledge of the World ! What other ever poflfefied in the farne Degree thofe foft, thofe gentle Virtues, which give fuch Charms to focial Life ! That polite and indulgent Condefcenfion to others, which renders that Superiority be- loved in you, which you are yourfelf afraid to difplay in half its Luftre! — Ah! Lady Catefiy! Is ic to excite the unmeaning Ad- miration only that Heaven has fhowered on you its mod precious Gifts? There has been a Time in which you thought you had received them for no other Purpofe than to jcnake me happy, AFTEa LORD OSSORY. 229 After a Year's Stay in tierhyflnre^ Lady Offory was attacked by an Indifpofition which feemed to threaten a Confumption ; imme- diate Afllftance a little re-eftabhfhed her Healfh •, but in the Beginning of the Winter ihe fell agAin into a Languor which made every one apprt hen five for her Life. Her Danger, her amiable Refignation, and en- gaging Sweetn^-fs, during theCourfe of her Difcemper, affefting me infinitely, I became afTuiu .us about her. When f refledled on my Conf'udl towards her, I was afraid I had giy n her Caufe to be unhappy ♦, 1 recioubied my Cares and my Atfenrion, to efface the ImprclTion which mylndiftt rence might pof- fibly have made on her Mind: I never left her Chamber i I gave her all her Medicines with my own Hand. I felt in thofe Mo- ments all the Force of the Bund which unit- - 1 :;cd m ii| !>■ I. ■:•» i':!!fi '■» m ilf! 2 JO HISTORY OF edus; I had not fulfilled its Duties, and I reproached myfelf bitterly for my Negleft. I SUPPORTED her one Day to gain a little Gallery, in which (he had an Incli^ nation to attempt walking: her Weaknefs forced her to be in a Manner carried in my Arms r After going a few Steps, (he turni. ed back into the Chamber, feaied herfelf,. and ftill leaning iipon me, perceived that I prcfiTed her gently to my Bolbm : (he 'eem- cd furprifed, regarded me attentively,, and' feeing in my Eyts all the Marks of the moft affecliona-.e and tender CompafTion, (lie tookv one of my Hands, and bathing it. with her Tear«^, 1 am very unhappy^ faid (he, to caufe you fo much Uneafinefsj hut I was dejlined to offiUi you : the State 1 am in, would raife a flattering Hope in a Heart Icfs generous than yours: my Death will break thofe Bonds which €onftrain you > that Chain under which you LORD OSSORY. 231 havefo long groaned^ and the Weight of which you have been fcarce able to bear. A ftrong Attachment had prepojfejfed your Soul', I have no Right to complain of it\ my Gratitude isy and ought to be, the greater : but pardon, my Lord^ pardon thefe Tears \ it is the Jirjl Time- I have dared tofhed them before you: I have concealed my poignant Sorrows in my own Breaji : your Goodnefs, the tender Pity I fee this Moment in your F.yes, my approaching Difjhiuti ;, have drawn from me the Confejfion of a Smtiment which it has not been in your Power to return. So much RefpeSf, fo many Benefts heaped on me, to make amends for that Love which you have refujed me, whilfl they made me admire ft Hi more the liufband I ador- ed, biive, without ceafing, embittered the Re- gret of not pojtjjng the Power to phafe him. I wifh, contir.ued fhe, that the Perfon wbofe Idea has fmt your Heart againft me, may pre* ferve fcryou a Tendernefs worthy of y cur Con* ftancy. 'I :.(|i '■ill m 23^. HISTORY O F - ftuncy, I imagined I ought to hide from you my tender Attachment, to fpare you the Proofs of it \ the Dread x)f being importunate^ forced me to ft fie even the ftrong Emotions of my Gra- titude'^ fuffcr them to break forth in thefelaft. Moments, Tou havefacrificedto the Honour of an unfortunate Creature^ a G-Qod which was'^ dear to you : may it be reft or ed to yen when foe ^ is no more / And may my ardent Prayers draw down upon you all the Bleffmgs of that Heaven^ which hears me^ which calls me hence ^ and^ where 1 hope fo on to be employed in watching' over the Happincfs cf my generous BenefatUr ; of him who made jo godlike an Effort^ that he- might not abandon me to ihct ^hcme^ from, which Death iifelf would not have fee ured me. Love my Daughter ♦, love her^ my Lord^ and forget the Miferies her unhappy Mother has brought upon you. Lady OJfory might have fpoken for ever without Fear of Interrup- tion: every Word fhe pronounced, was a Dagger LORD OSSORY. 233 Dagger that ftabbed me to the Heart. I had neglefted her, it was now too late to re- pair, by a behaviour more tender, that long Indifference of which Ihe had had but too much Senfibility, Ah ! Madam ! how ter- rible is it to have done a Wrong, and how feverely would the Injured know thcmfelves revenged, if they could comprehend the bit- ter Efi'efts of Remorfe in a feeling and vir- tuous Heart ! I fent to London for Dodtor LewtNy and Dodor Harrifon -, I called in all in whofe Skill it was pofTible fhe could have the lead Confidence. It is not to you, Ma- dam, that I am afraid to confefs the ardent Defire I had of faving her: but neither her Youth, nor the AfTiftance of Art, could re- cover her from a State already defperate: ihe expired in my Arms ; and in fpite of the Afiurances they gave me of the Nature of her Diftemper,, a Diftempcr born with her, and which the Delicacy of her Conftitution could ' ('■ y .( /'^?': i V'y. .«;4' ill V\ 11 ill 254 HISTORY OF could not long have refilled, I regarded myfcif with Abhorrence asoneof theCaufes- of her D:a(h : I recollffted inceffantly what flie had faid to me; I could not confole myfelf for not having had Power enough oyer my Soiil, to difTenjble at lead, and conceal from h^r that ai.othcr pLffeflld my Heart. But when one has loft al Hope of being happy ones (elf, is it p(>frib!e to be always attehtive io the Happinefs of an* otifier? As foon as this melarvcholy Sctnc was a- little efficiced from my Memory, I refledled with Tranfport that you were nil] frte : I flattered myfelf a Paffion once fb tendei*, was, not entirely extinguirtied; that you preferv* ed the Remembrance of it ; that my Pre- fence, and the fincere Recital of my un- happy Adventure, might yet be able to re- , vive it. The Knowledge of your Charadler helped LORD OSSORY. 835 helped to dective ire: I will conftfs iny Crime, faid I, fhc will hear me, fhe will pity, will forgive me— How cruelly have you de* ftroyed the fwcct Illufion ? As I quitted Lsndon only tofpare you the Difpieafurc of meeting a Woman bearing the Name which you had condefcended to make Choice of, in determining to change your own, I returned thither three Months after the Death of Lady Ojfory, With what Ardour did 1 approach the Place inhabited by you! What a lively Defire had I to fee you, to fpeak to you, to hear the pleafing Sound of that lovM Voice? 1 arrived; I ran to feek you ; as I paffed by Lady BeUviUe*s Door, I obferved fome Servants in your Li- very ; I was told you were there : My Im- patience made me overlook the Indifcretion of the Step I was taking: I went in; I faw you; 'It rB - 1 M'^ m ' :1i1 236 H I S T O R Y OF you ; you knew me again : What Anger was on your Countenance, what Difdain in your Eyts! You feized a Pretence for put- irg an End to yourVifu; you tctired j. and I remained there; immoveable, pierced with Grief; and felf-convifled that I me- rited thofe Marks of a Contempt which 1 found it impofTible to fupport.. I called in vain at your Door; I wrote to you in vain ; my Letters conflantly refufed, my Efforts to fee you rendt/ed fruitlefs by your Precau- tions ; all my Attempts unattended with Succefs, threw me into a Defpair of appeaf- ing your Refentmcnt. I only obtained the Companion o\ your Woman, who had very little Intiuence over you. Cajile Cary did not dare to intereft himfelf openly for me,, through Fear of difplcafing Lady Henrietta,. At length, you filled up the Mealure of your Cruelty ; you left London^ and it was not long before I followed you. Halifax came LORD OSSORY. 237 came to purchafe an Ellate here -, I accom* panied him ; I wrote to you : With what Haughtinefs did you receive this Proof of my Tendernefs ! You anfwt red me only to deliver yourfelf from my Importunities ; with a Pride, an Inflexibdiiy, to which your Heart is naturally a Stranger, and in which I difcovered nothingof the gentle, the amiable Soul of V.2iAy Catejby, After leav- ing me three Days in the mofl: painful Suf- pence, 'twas to demand your Letters you wrote to me*- Your Letters! — Ah! never a(k them of me. — I can never confent to re- 'ttore them 1 fancied you foftened : the Goodnefs, which inte^efted you for my Life, appeared to me a Return of that tender In- i§lination, which once attached you to me : I flattered myfelf that Friendfhip at leaft would plead in my Favour. But I was de- •ceived-j you no longer loved me; my Pre- fcnce filled you with Horror j it deprived you iflf III III- If t3i HISTORY 01^ you almoft of Life : the Sight of a Level once preferred, once tenderly beloved, fpread over your Cheeks the Palenefs of Death. It is then true that I have loft all Hope of foftening your Heart? Can nothing rekindle that tender Flame ? — But you have Reafon for this Cruelty^ Madam *, I ought only to complain of myfelf. I fhould be happy in* deed, if I could complain of you rWith what Pkafure Ihould I then have pardoned — Ahl Lady Catejby ! If you ever deign to think of a Man whom you believe faithlcft and ungrateful^ what Advantages have you over him! You may hate, defpife, him whom you overwhelm with Affliftion^ w hilft he cannot but efteem, revere, adore her who renders him the moft unhappy |f Mankind. Poor Lady OJfory! How her Story touches me ! Can I refufe my Tears to her deplo- rable le LORD O S S O R Y. 139 rable Deftiny ? What Strength of Mind I To adore her Hufband, yet conceal her Love from him on the noble Principles of tender Refpeft and Gratitude! Why did he not love her ? Why did he not make her happy ! She was worthy of his Attachment. Why did he avoid her ? Why afflift a Heart fo full of Senfibility ? Had (he not a Right to hisTendernefs? What Cruelty to de- prive her of it ? I am (hocked at the In- humanity of his Behaviour, and cannot ap- prove that unfocial Chagrin, of which he made her the Vidlim. Unfortunate Mifs Montford! She who banifhed the Heart of your Hu(band, ardently wilhes to recall you to Life, to fee you pofle(red of a Heart w^ich ought to have been yours : She would not difturb your Happinefs" Alas ! my Dear Henrietta! What a Difference? I have wept, but Lady C([[ory has died-^I reproach myfelf for having hated her. I was very unjuft |: -ti M 240 H I S T O R Y O F unjufl:, very inhuman : It was her Part to have deteftcd me. I am fcnfibly afFcdled at her Death. Since he gives me PermifHon, I will fend you the Packet. I know not yet what to think Ah! that amiable Mifs Montford! How melancholy has been her Fate ? She whom I thought io happy I LET- r'ni ] t r ../, t> v.i . tMiMta (;: ■•■i»< ii ;ui LETTER XXXVn. Saturday Wimchester^ t* I LORD O^rj had Reafon to fay, the Species of his Offence was- unknown to me! How could I have imagined? — What a ftrange Adventure! — That Clofct — That fatal Darknefs — His daring Prefumption—-. He calls it a Misfortune— //^r^^/ my Love^ fays he— Yes, thefe Men are extremely in- clined to be forgetful : It is however pof- ' fible their Hearts and their Senfes fnay aft independently of each other : they tell us fa * atleaft, and by thefe pretended Diftinftions ' refer ve the Liberty of being excited by Love^ ^ L fc- III [il 'If c- 242 LETTER XXXVIL fcduced by Pleafure, or hurried away by In^ ftinft. But obferve, my Dear, they will not ^dmit us to avail ourfelves of the poor Ex- cufe they fo confidently plead in regard to themfelves : thofe Emotions, though divid- ed in them, are united in us. This is cer- tainly acknowledging a great Superiority in our Manner of thinking ; but at the fame Time reducing us to a tenible Ur certainty, as to the Nature of thofe Sentiments which lead them to feek our Favour : how is it poflible we can ever diftinguifh by which of thefelmprtffions they are a6tuated,theEfFe6ts being fo fimilar, and the.Caufe fo hidden? However, my Dear Henrietta^ this per- fidiouf, this ungrateful, this treacherous Lo- v?r, has only been inconftant — Scarce even tl^at — His Head difordered — His Reafon diftrafted — Ah ! what a Diftraftion ! How many Tears has it coft me ! Is it ^Doffible. I can :n Ik. m LETTER XXXVii; 243 r can forgive it ? But why did Lord OJfory leave me two Years in Ignorance of this fatal Secret? He has given a Reafon — What has he fuffered ! What Probity, what Ge- nerofity in fuch a Sacrifice ! He fpeaks of his Daughter : Amiaile little Innocent ! fays he —I am pleafed to fee this Tendernefs in his Nature — Poor Babe ! I believe, my Dear, I (hall love her too — Ah ! if he had told me this at Hertford^ what Teari, would he have fpared us both! I fhould have put myfelf in his Place : it would have been in-* finitely lefs painful to me to have yielded him up, than to fee myfelf abandoned : I Ihould have found Confolation in the Share 1 (hould then have had in the Noblenefs of his Behaviour: I fliould have lamented hini without doubt, but my Sorrows would have loft much of their Poignancy. I fhould not have hated, have defpifed him : on the contrary, he would have prefcrved all my L 2 Efteem. !J3 11 i lihj H I 1 1 I -ill 244 LETTER XXXVII. Efteem. Friend (hip would have joined us in thofe refined, thofe tender Bonds, fo dear to virtuous Hearts. He would not have buried himfelf in the North of England to avoid me : we fhould have continued to fee each other : I fhould have loved Lady OJJory: What Right Ihould I then have had to conti- plain ? Why might not this amiable Wo- man have been my Companion, my Friend ? She would perhaps have been ftill living. I fhould not have had to reproach myfcU with having been the innoccrt Caufc of her Af- fliflioLS, But to what Purpofe arc all thefc Suppofitions, with which I tire you ? Lady Ojfory is dead. Her Hufband has been cul- pable : Is he yet fo ? This is the Point which embarraiTes me. The Reafon of his concealing the Secret is very trifling : fo httle Confidence in me — — But it was his Wife — I know not what to refolve. LET- [ ^45 ] i LETTER XXXVIII. Sunday^ Winchester.' IS H A L L leave this Place on ^uefday for Hertford: Abraham is here j his Lord has fent him to enquire after me : I believe, however, he is lefs anxious about my Health, ths'.n my Anfwer. The afFcfting Death of Lady OJfory damped the firft Tranfports of my Joy ; the foft Impieffion of Pity is yet ftrong; but my Heati: fpeaks, and will be heard in its Turn. Is it poflible even you, my Dear Henrietta^ can conceive the Happi- nefs I feci at this Moment ? Lord Ojfory is not unworthy my Tenderncfs : How fweet is it to grant to his Merit, what I feared I L 3 fliould ;!l 'a lit . if I 246 LETTER XXXVIII. fliould have yielded only to my Prepoflcrf- fion in his Favour ! He has not afted in- confiftently with thofe diftinguifhed Quali- ties, which fiid gave him Pofleflion of my Soul : the Lover who is foon to appear again in my Prellnce, is eftimable, fincere, gene- rous—Ah !.ali is pardoned, all is forgot ! I will not make him purchafe by SubmiiTjon, by Anxiety, by Sufpence, a Favour he fo earneftly entreats: an immediate Reconcili- ation ihM be the Reward of his Confidence — How happy is it that he has thus opened * ail his Heart to me! I will write to him- jnftantly : Why Ihould I defer a Moment the Pleafure it is in my Power to give him I » The following is a Copy of my Letter. w A. To Lcrd O S S O R Y. You fuppofe- me changed, my Lord, but ' I am ftill the fathc. Scnfible to your Con- ' • ' - ' fidcnce. LETTER XXXIV. '. 247 fidence, I think I ought to be no lefs fo to your Friendfhip. ' I am going to Lord Of- mond^s i if you come to Hertford^ I Ihall receive Lord Ojfory with that lively Plca- fure which it is natural to feel at the Sight of a Friend, whom one has long imagined loft forever. • In inviting him to Hertford ^ in telling him I (hail fee him with Pleafure, h^ivc I not faid every thing ? It is with Difficulty I conceal the pleafing Emotions of my Heart: my Joy fparkles in my Eyes : every body fays I am grown handfomer within tbefe two Days. O, my dear Friend, how I wilh to fee you ! H But I have many Fareweh to take; many parting Tears to flied. Poor Sir Harry I He really deferves Pity : I have opened my Heart to him j he knows my Attachment : hi; i- 248 LETTER XXXVIII. I thought I owed fomcthing to the violent Paffion he has for m^ : This Confidence, convincing him of my Efteem, has cahned h'S Sorrow a little. He will be my Friend, he ^ays, the Knowledge of my Happinefs fjall confole him His Behaviour affefts me. Adieu ! my Dear Henrietta ! I expeft your Congratulations to meet me at Her/ford: I fliall be there on Thurfday, perhaps on fVednefday : You may imagine I am very impatient to get thither. LET^ [ 249 ] ■4^ '• ^ LETTER XXXIX, -Jm.^ Lord OssoRV to Lady Henrietta. / Monday^ Hertford, YO U wricej lovely Henrietta, to Lady Catejhy: Your Hand, your 7\rms, were known: But to whom were they lo give your Letter? Is there fuch a Perfon in the World as Lady Catejhy? If there is, it is not however at Hertford you muft feek her. If, inftead of that Friend fo dcfcrved- ly dear to you, your Heart will admit a new Objed of its Efteem, Lady Ojjory is ready to anfwer your tender Congratulations : (he has opened your Letter, with a Freedom which will perhaps furprife you : But what Risihts fl J- \ 250 LETTER XXXIX. Rights has not this charming Woman, this Juliet ? — She is mine, for ever mine : no longer Lady Catejhy^ (he is my Wife, my Friend, my Miftrefs ; the good Genius who has reftorcJ to me all thofe Blcflings, of which I have been fo long deprived. Per- mit me. Madam, to thank you for the ge- nerous Warmth, with which you have al- ways interceded with your lovely Friend for my Pardon : She has condcfccnded to grant it, and haslhown, in this Aft of Goodnefs, all the Noblenefs of Sentiment of which you know her capable, Yefterday was the Day for evwT happy — i^^;;OSSORY. This impertinent Creature! He will leave me nothing to fay to you. O, my Dear Henrietta! They were all united againft me: I was only invited hither to vi ; . , be LETTER XXXIX. 251 he drawn into a Snare : My Coufin manag- ed the Confpiracy, they did not give mc Time to breathe. A repenting Lover ac my Feet, Relations fo dear to me, folicit- ing for him, a tender Heart, the Minifter prefent — Upon my Word they married me fo haftily, I do not believe the Marriage is valid. Lady Ofmond is fo urgent — fo very abfolutc— . Lady OSMOND. I COME juft in Time to vindicate myfelf, a Snare^ a Confpiracy^ a Marriage which is not valid! What would you think of me, my Dear Henrietta^ if you were lefs acquainted with my Sentiments in regard to our fair Friend ? Yes, my Dear, I have married her to the mod amiable Nobleman in England. The Marriage is valid, I afliire you : none of the Parties concerned have the leaft De- fire iVi LETTER XXXIX. fire to break it. Juliet has certainly great ' Rcafon to complain of mc : her Happincfs ' has always been one of my mod ardent Wifhcs : I believe it now perfeft, and I ex- peft yourCompriments on this Occafion, Lady O S S O R Y. You are expefted here with Impatience -No Feafts, no Balls, v;ithout my Dear Henrieita\ I fliould have faid, no Happi- nefs, if the Perfon whofe Eyes follow my Pen, was not already a little jealops of my tender Friend (liip. THE END. •■^SfHH'T^f-Tr, ^P I I