O D E 
 
 T O 
 
 Mr. PINCHBECK, 
 
 UPON HIS NEWLY INVENTED 
 
 PATENT CANDLE-SNUFFERS, 
 
 By MALCOLM M' G R E G G O R, Efq; 
 
 Author of the Heroic Epiftle to Sir William Chambers, and the 
 
 Heroic Poftfcript. 
 
 ^loufque ergofrujlra pafccmm i^Htgcnum ijiiim ? Apulcii Met. Lib. 7, 
 Why fliould a Patent be granted to this Candle-SnufFer in vain ? 
 
 THE FOURTH EDITION. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for J, Almon, oppofitc Burlington-Houfe, Piccadilly, 
 
 MDCCLXXVl. 
 
 [Price Six-Pence.] 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 EVER fince my firft Publication, the Curiofity, 
 not to fay Anxiety, of the World concerning my 
 Name, has been fo great, that it has frequently given 
 me Pain to conceal what the World will now fee 
 it w^as not poffibly in my Power to difcover. 
 
 In ihort, I had no Name, till the Royal Favour 
 lately reflored my very antient and honourable Clan to- 
 its priftine Title and Honours. I was therefore in the 
 fame deplorable Cafe with a certain namelefs Lady, 
 whom I have long had the Honour to call my Neigh- 
 bour, and who, I fincerely hope, will foon, by the fame 
 Favour, be reflored to that Title, which, upon my Ho- 
 nour, I believe, flie has erroneoufly, and not inten- 
 tionally forfeited ► 
 
 I have only to add, that now, when the Publfc is 
 in poffeflion of my real Name, it will not, I hope, fuf- 
 fer any national Prejudice to prevent it from receiving 
 
 4 this. 
 
[ 4 ] 
 
 this my firft Lyrical Attempt with its former Candour. 
 But 1 mull needs fay, that if this Ode does not fell as 
 well as Mr. Cumberland's, I fhall be apt to impute it, 
 not to any inferiority of Lyrical Ordonance, but merely 
 to its having been written by a Scotchman. 
 
 Knightjhndgef May 6, 1776. 
 
^mwtm I I i» -■ i-^— — -,.i ......i^, -.^-.— -.^ . , , , . ,.. .p^^ii . ,^, „ , , „ ^, .■■_■■■■■, 
 
 ODE 
 
 T O 
 
 Mr. PINCHBECK. 
 
 I. 
 
 ILLUSTRIOUS Pinchbeck! condefcend. 
 Thou well'belov'd, and bell King's-Friend, 
 Thefe Lyric Lines to view ; 
 O ! may they prompt thee, e'er too late, 
 To fnufF the Candle of the State, 
 That burns a little blue. 
 
 B It 
 
I 6 ] 
 
 II. 
 
 It once had got a ftately Wick, 
 When in its Patent Candleftick 
 
 The Revolution put it; 
 As Wi* *" as Wax we faw it Ihine 
 Thro' two whole Lengths of Brunswick's Line, 
 
 'Till B— firft dar'd to fmut it. 
 
 III. 
 Since then — but wherefore tell the Tale? 
 Enough, that now it burneth pale. 
 
 And forely waftes its Tallow : 
 Nay, if thy Poet rightly weens, 
 (Though little Ikill'd in Ways and Means) 
 
 Its Save-all is but Ihallow. 
 
 IV. 
 
 Come then, ingenious Artifl, come. 
 
 And put thy Finger, and thy Thumb, 
 
 Into each polilh'd Handle ; 
 
 On thee alone our Hopes depend. 
 
 Thy King's, and eke thy Country's Friend, 
 
 To trim Old England's Candle. 
 
 4 But 
 
[ 7 ] 
 
 V. 
 
 But firft we pray, for its Relief, 
 Pluck from its Wick, each Tory Thief, 
 
 It elfe muil quickly rue it ; 
 * While N-— and M- — fputter there, 
 Thou'lt ne'er prevent with all thy Care, 
 The melting of the Suet. 
 
 VI. 
 There's Twitcher too, that old He- witch. 
 Sticks in its Bole as black as Pitch, 
 
 'f- And makes a filthy pother; 
 When ci^rft with fuch a forry Fiend, 
 And lighted too at either End, 
 
 'Twill foon be in a fmother. 
 
 * Thefe Initials, like tliofc in the Banns of Marriage publiflicd between N. 
 and M. may be filled up at tlic Reader's Pleafurc. 
 
 Fide Common Prayer Book. 
 
 •{• Our ingenious Inventor's Snuffers are peculiarly calculated to remedy this 
 evil, to which indeed all Candles are more or lefs fubjeft. 
 
 See the Patentee's yldvertifemcnt. 
 
 I fear 
 
I 8 ] 
 
 VII. 
 
 I fear me much in fuch a plight, 
 Thofe Tapers bleft would lofc their Light, 
 
 Canadian Fanes that deck ; 
 Which pious —*--- ordains to blaze. 
 And gild with their eftablifh'd Rays, 
 
 Our Lady of Quebec. 
 
 VIII. 
 
 J His Arms, thou hallowed Image ! blefs. 
 And furely thou canft do no lefs. 
 
 He is thy Faith's Defender ; 
 Thou oweft thy Place to him alone, 
 As other Jacobites have done, 
 
 And not to the Pretender. 
 
 X It is humbly prcfumed, that the claffical Reader will here perceive a bold- 
 nefs of Tranfition only to be equalled by Pindar, and perhaps by Ho- 
 race in fomc of his fublimer Odes. 
 
 Hafle 
 
[ 9 ] 
 
 IX. 
 
 Hafte then, and quafh the hot Turmoil, 
 That flames in Bolton's angry Soil, 
 And frigh*-3 the Mother-Nation : 
 Know, Lady ! if its Rage you flop. 
 Pinchbeck Ihall fend you, from his Shop, 
 A mofl fuperb Oblation. 
 
 X. 
 
 His Patent-fnuffers, in a Difti 
 
 Of burnifli'd Gold ; if more you wifh. 
 
 His Cyclops fliall bellir 
 Their brawny Stumps, and for thy fake. 
 Of Pinchbeck's own Miit-metal make 
 
 A huge Extinguifher. 
 
 XI. 
 
 To form the Mafs , thy Zeal 
 
 Shall furnilh that well-temper 'd Steel,, 
 
 Thou didft at Minden brandilh ; 
 Nor yet fliall G— 's reverend Dean, 
 Counting its Worth, refufe, I ween, 
 
 His ponderous leaden Standilh". 
 
 G Poor 
 
[ 10 ] 
 
 XII. 
 
 Poor Dodlor Johnson, I'm afraid. 
 Can give but metaphoric Aid ; 
 
 His Style's cafe-harden'd Graces : 
 M' Pherson, without Shame, or Fear, 
 Sir John Dalrymple, and Shebbeare 
 
 Shall melt their brazen Faces. 
 
 XIII. 
 And fure, this mixt metallic Stuff, 
 Will yield Materials large enough 
 
 To mold the mighty Gone ; 
 But how tranfport it, when 'tis caik 
 Acrofs the deep Atlantic Vail, 
 
 'Twill weigh fome thoufand Stone ? 
 
 XIV. 
 
 '* Leave that to me" our Lady cries, 
 ** Howe'er gigantic be its Size, 
 
 " I have a Scheme in petto ; 
 " I'll fly with it from Shore to Shore, 
 " Safe as my footy Sifter bore, 
 
 " Her Gottage to Loretto. 
 4 
 
 <( 
 
 Swift 
 
[ " ] 
 
 XV. 
 " Swift to the Congrefs with my Freight 
 *< I'll fpeed, and on their Heads its Weight 
 
 " Soufe with fuch Skill and Care ; 
 «' That Put'nam, Washington beneath, 
 " And gafping Lee fhall wifti to breathe 
 
 ** § A Pint of Priestley's Air. 
 
 XVI. 
 « The Deed is done, thy Foes are dead, 
 ** No longer England, ihalt thou dread 
 
 " Such Prefbyterean Huffers ; 
 " Thy Candle's Radiance ne'er ftiall fade,. 
 " With now and then a. little Aid, 
 
 " From Pinchbeck's Patent-fnuffers.'* 
 
 & This great Philolbphcr has lately dilcovcred a Method of fabricating a 
 new Species of Air, of fo infinitely fupcrior falubrity and duration to that 
 vulgar atmofphcrical Air, which for want of better we have been obliged 
 to breathe for upwards of five'thoufand Years, tliat it is to be fuppofed that 
 no Macaroni, Savoir Vivre, or in plain Englifli, no body that knows wliat's 
 what, will in future condefccnd to refpirc any Air, that is not fealcd with 
 the Doftor's own Arms, and ligned with his own Hand-writing. It is to be 
 feared, however, that his Pneumatic Vials will be liable to be counterfeited, 
 as our Philofophcr has not Intereft enough at Court to procure a Patent. 
 Indeed were fuch a Patent granted, it might fuperfcdc Mr. Pikctibeck's ; 
 becaufe that in this Air a Candle is found to burn with fo bright and con- 
 tinued a Flame, that it could never want fnuffing. 
 
 Sie Vol. IL of Dr. PrUJllefi Experiments on Air. 
 FINIS. 
 
^l- 
 
 JUST P U B L I S H E D. 
 
 AN Herrtic Epiftle to Sir William Chambers, Knight, Comptroller General of 
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