IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 I.I |||M 1132 ,L m i " 2.2 M 1.8 1.25 1.4 1 1.6 ^ 6" ► y} ;iness of the walls, the smokiness of the ceilings, the grimy windows, the heavy, ever-murky atmosphere of these rooms. They were 8 feet 6 inches in PVKI 22 GINX'S BABY. height, and any curious statist can calculate the number of cubic feet of air which they afibrdcd to each person. The other side of jpo street was 14 feet dis- tant. Behind, the backs of si mi bar tenements came up black and cowering over the little ^^ard of Number Five. As rare, in the well thus formed, was the circulation of air as that of coin in the pockets t)f the inhabitancs. I have seen the yard ; let me warn you, if you are fastidious, not to enter it. Such of the tilth of the house as could not, at night, be thrown out of the front windows, was tlicre collected, and seldom, if ever, removed. What became of it? What be- comes of countless such accretions in like places? Are a large proportion of these tilthy atoms ab- sorbed by human creatures living and dying, instead of being carried away by scavengers and inspectors ? The forty-live big and little lodgers in the house were provided with a single office in tlie corner of the yard. It had once been capped by a cistren, long since rotted away — * '1^ * The street was at one time the prey of the gas company; at another, of the drainage con- tractors. They seemed to delight in turning up the f(rtid soil, cutting deep trenches through various strata of filth, and piling up for days HOME, SWEET HOME. 23 ing, and .gcrs )ffico been the ■011- Ig up ough lays or weeks matter that reeked with veicetablo and animal decay. One needs not affirm that Rose- mary Street was not so callj^ irom its fragrance. If tlie Ginxes and their neighbours preserved any sembhmceof health in this place, the most popuhxr guardian on the board must own it a miracle. Thay, poor people, knew nothing of ''sanitary relbrm," "sanitary precautionH," '' zymotics," ^' endemics,"." epidemics," " deodo- risers," or '- disinfectants." They regarded dis- ease with tho apatliy of creatures who felt it to be inseparable from iuimanity, and with the fatalism of despair. Gin was tlieir cardinal prescription, not for cure, but for oblivion : '' Sold everywhere." A score of pahices flourished within call of each other in that dismal district — garish, rich-looking dens, drawing to the support of their vulgar glory the means, the lives, the eternal destinies of the wreck'cd masses about them. ' Veritable wreckers they who construct these haunts, viler than the wretches who place false beacons and ])lunder bodies on the beach. Bringdown the real owners of these phices, and show them their deadly work! Some of them leading Philan- thropists, eloc|uent at Missionary meetings and Eible Societies, paying tribute to the Lord out of tlie pockets of dying drunkards, fighting glo- 24 OINX S BABY. rious battles for slaves, and manfully upholding popular rights. My rich publican — forgive the pun — before you pay tithes of mint and cummin, much more before you claim to be a disciple of a certain Nazarene, take a lesson from one who restored foui-fold the money he had wrung from honest toil, or reflect on the case of the man to whom it was said, " Go sell all thou hast, and give to the poor." The lips from which that coun; 1 dropped offered some un])leasant alter- natives, leaving out one, however, which now- a-days may yet reach you — the contempt of your kind. * ^ * III — Work and Ideas. I RETURN again to Ginx's menace to his wife, who was suckling her infant at the time on the bed. For her he had an animal affection that preserved her from unkindness, even in his cups. Ilis hand had never unmanned itself by striking her, and rarely indeed did it injure any one else. He wrestled not against flesh and blood, or powers, or principlities, or wicked spirits in liigh places. Ho struggled with clods and stones, and primeval chaos. His hands were horny with the fight, and his nature had perhaps caught some of the dull rugged- y; WORK AND IDEAS. 25 holding 51 V 6 the iimmin, iciple of •ne who ng from man to ast, and ch that it alter- 3h now- of your is wife, on the on that in his :sclf by iro any sh and wicked ;h clods hands nature rugged- ness of the things wherewith ho battled. Hard and with a will had ho worked through the years of wedded life, and, to speak him fair, he had acted honestly, within the limits of his knowledge and means, for the good of his family. How narrow were those limits I Every week he threw into the lap of Mrs. Ginx the eighteen or twenty shillings which his strength and temperance enabled him continuously to earn, less sixpence reserved for the public- house, whither he retreated on Sundays after the family dinner. A dozen children over- running the space in his rooms was then a strain beyond the endurance of Ginx. Nor had he the heart to try the common plan, and turn his children out of doors on the chance of their being picked up in a raid of Sunday School teachers. So he turned out himself to talk with the humbler spirits of the '' Dragon," or listen sleepily while alehouse demagogues prescribed remedies for State abuses. Our friend was nearly as guiltless of know- ledge as if Eve had never rifled the tree where- on it grew. Vacant of policies were liis thoughts ; innocent ho of ideas of state-craft. He knew there was a Queen ; he had seen her* Lords and Commons were to him vague deities possessing strange powders. Indeed, he had been .3Crif7t»i-SMi'tiineurJS*J- • 26 GINX'S BABY. Ii!i present when some v:>f his better-informed com- panions had recognised with cheers certain gentlemen, — of whom Ginx's estimate was ex- pressed by a reference to his test of superiority to himself in that which he felt to be greatest within him — '' I could lick 'em with my little finger" — as the ChanceHor of the Exchequer and the Prime Minister. Little recked he of their uses or abuses. The functions of Govern-- mcnt were to him Asian m3'sterics. He only felt that it ought to have a strong arm, like the brawny member wherewith he preserved order in his domestic kingdom, and therefore generally associated Government with the Police. In his view these were to clear away evil-doers and leave every one else alone. The higher objects of Government were, if at all, outlined in the shadowiest form in his imagination. Government imposed taxes — that he was obliged to know. Government main- tained the parks ; for that he thanked it. Go- vernment made laws, but what they were, or with what aim or elfects made, he knew not, save only that by them something wiis done to raise or depress the prices of bread, tea, sugar, and other necessaries. Why they should do so he never conceived — I. am not sure that he cared. Legislation sometimes pinched him, but darkness so hid from the him persons and objects of the d corn- certain ras cx- riority reatest y little hequer I lie of rovern-' le only n, like jserved ercfore .h the > clear e else t were, L in his s — that ; main- t. Go- ^ere, or )W not. Jone to . sugar, i do so 3 cared, arkness \ of the A DIORESSION. 27 legislators that he could not criticise the theories which those powerful beings were subjecting to experiment at any cost. I must, at any risk, say something about this in a separate cliapter. *^.'f^ IV. — Digressive, and may be skipped without mutilating the History. I STOP hero to address any of the following characters, should he perchance read these me- moirs : You, Mr. Statesman— if there be such ; Mr. Pseudo-Statesman, Placeman Party \ Leader, Wirepuller; Mr. Amateur Statesman, Dilettante Lord, Civil Servant; Mr. Clubman, Litterateur, Newspaj^er Scribe ; Mr. People's Candidate, Demagogue, Fenian Spoutcr ; or wdioever you may be, professing to know aught or do anything in matters of policy, consider, what I am sure you have never fiiirly weighed, the condition of a man whoso 28 aiNX'S BABY. clearest notion of Government is derived from the Police ! Imagine one who had never seen a polyp trying to construct an ideal of the animal, from a single tentacle swinging out from the tangle of weed in which the rest was wrapped I How then any more can you fancy that a man to whose sight and knowledge the only part of government practically exposed is the strong process of police, shall form a proper conception of the functions, reasons, operations and relations of Government ; or even build up an ideal of anything but a haughty, unreason- able, antagonistic, tax-imposing Force ! And how can you rule such a being except as you rule a dog, by that which alone he understands — the dog-whip of the constable ! Given in a country, a majority of creatures like these, and surely despotism is its properest complement. But when they exist, as they exist in England today, in hundreds of thousands, in town and country, think what a complication they in- troduce into your theoretic free system of government. Acts of Parliament passed by a ''freely-elected" House of Commons, and an hereditary House of Lords under the threats of freely-electing citizens, however pure in intention and correct in principle, will not seem to him to be the resultants of every wish in the community so much as dictations by A DIGRESSION. 29 from 1' seen )f the out st was fancy JO the 3sed is proper 'ations lild up eason- And as you rstands n in a se, and emcnt. ngland v^n and ley in- :em of i by a ,nd an threats ire in .11 not y wish ons by 4 superior strength. To these the obedience he will render will not be the loving assent of his heart, but a begrudged concession to circum- stance. Your awe-invested legislature is not viewed as his friend and brother-helper, but his tyrant. Therefore the most natural bent of his workman-statemanship — a rough, bung- ling affair — will be to tame you — you who ought to be his Counsellor and Friend. When he finds that your legislative action exerts upon him a rej)ressive and restraining force he will curse you as its author, because ho sees not the springs you are working. Should he even be a little more advanced in know- ledge that our friend Ginx, and learn that he helps to elect the Parliament to make laws on behalf of himself and his fellow-citizens, he will scarcely trust the assembly which is sup- posed to represent him. Will he, like a ^,^ood citizen and a politic, accept with dignity and self-control the decision of a majority against his prejudices; or will ho not regard the whole Wittenagemote with suapicion, contemjit, or even hatred ? See him rush madly to Trafalgar Square meetings, Hyde Park demonstrations, perhaps to Lord George Gordon riots, as if there were no less perilous means of publish- ing his opinions! There wily men. may lead his unconscious intellect, and stir his passions, m 30 aiNX'S BABY. and direct his forces against his own and his children's good. Did it ever occur to you, or any of you, how many voters cannot read, and how many more, thougli they can read, arc unable to apprehend reasons of statesmanship? — that oven newspapers cannot inform them, since they have not the elementary knqjledge needed for the comprehension of those" which are disscussed in them ; nay, tl w^ant of understanding the same th( terribly distort political aims and quences ? • ' Might it not bo worth while for you, gentlemen — may it not be your duty to devise ways and means for conveying such elemen- tary instruction by good s t r e o trm'e ac h e r s on polities and economy, or even pOTitical bible- women or colporteurs, and so to make clear to the understanding of every voter what are the reasons and aims of every act of Legislation, Home Administration, and Foreign Policy? If you do not find out some way to do this he may turn round upon you — I hope he may — and insist on annually-elected parliaments, and thus oblige ambitious state-mongers, in the rivalry of place, to come to him and declare more often their wishes and objects. A DIGRESSION. 31 and his ou, how maiij^ able to ?— that , sinco [ledge hers on l1 bible- clear to are the islation, 'y-i If this he may — iments, :ers, in in and objects. Other attractions may be found in tliat solu- tion : such as the untying of some knots of electoral difficulty, and removinii; incitements to corruption. Ten thousand pounds for one year's power were a hi,i;'h price even to a contractor. Think then whether at any cost some general political education must not bo attempted, since there is a spirit breathing on the waters, and how it shall convulse them is no indilVerent matter to you or to me. Every- where around us are unhewn rocks stirred with a strange motion. Leave these chaotic fragments of humanity to be hewn into rough shape by coarse artists seeking only a petty profit, unhand}', immeasurably impudent; or dress them hy your teaching — teaching which is the highest, noblest, purest, most efficient function of Government, which ought to be the most lofty ambition of statesmanship — to bo civic corner-stones polished after the simili- tude of a palace. * 32 aiNX'S BABY. V. — Roaiona and Rosolvea. GiNX has boon waiting through throo chapters to explain his truculcnco upon the birth of his twelfth child. Much explanation is not neces- sary. When he looked round his nest and saw the many open mouths around him, he might well be appalled to have another added to them. His children were not chameleons, yet they were already forced to be content with a pro- portion of air for their food. And even the air was bad. They were pallid and pinched. How they were clad will ever be a mystery, save to the poor woman who strung the limp rags together and Him who watched the noble patience and sacrifice of a daily heroism. Of her unaatisiied cravings, and the dense motherly horrors that sometimes brooded over her whilst slie nursed these infants, let me refrain from speaking, since, if as vividly depicted as they were real, you, Madam, could not endure to read of them. Her poor, unintelligent mind clung tenaciously to the controverted aphorism, *' Where God sends mouths he sends food to fill them." Believing that there was a God, and that He must be kind, she trusted in this as a truth, and perhaps an all-seeing eye, reading some quaint characters on her simple heart; viewed them not too nearly, but had regard to REASONS AND RESOLVES. 33 aptors of his Tiecos- d saw might them. thoy I pro- ;he air How ave to ) rags noblo Q. Of therly whilst I from 3 they o read clung orism, to fill i, and is as a 3ading heart, ard to their general import, for, as sh» expressed it, " Thank God I they had been always been able to got along." In the rush and tumult of the world it is likely that the summum honum of nine-tenths of mankind is embraced in that purely negative happiness — to get along. Not to perish : to open eyes, however wearily, on anew morning: to satisfy with something, no matter what, a craving appetite : to close eyes at night under some shadow or shelter : or, it ma}^ be, in cer- tain ranks to walk another day free from bank- ruptcy or arrest: Thank Heaven, they are just able to get along ! Convinced that another infant straw would break his baclv, Ginx calmly proposed to disconcert physical, moral and legal relations by drowning the straw. Mrs. Ginx clinging to Number Twelve listened aghast. If a mother can forget her sucking child she was not that mother. The stream of her aflec Lions though divided into twelve rills, would not have been exhausted in twenty-four, and her soul, fore- casting its sorrows, yearned after that nonenitj^ Number Thirteen. She pictured to herself the hf^less strangeling borne away from her bosom by those strong arms, and — in fact she sobbed 34 GTNX S BABY. SO that Ginx grew ashamed, and sought to comfort her by the suggestion that she could not have any more. But she knew better. VI. — The Antagonism of Law and Necc^eity. In eighteen months, notwithstanding resolves, menaces and prophecies, Ginx's Baby was born. The mother hid the impending event long from tbe father. When lie came to know it, he fixed his determination by much thought and a little extra drinking. He argued thus : " lie wouldn't go on tbe parish. He couldn't keep another youngster to save his life. He had never taken charity and never "vould. There was nothing to do with it but drcvai it !" Female friends of Mrs. Ginx bruited his intentions about the neighorhood, so that her ''time" was watched for with interest. At last it came. One after- noon Ginx, lounging home, saw signs of excitc- nient around his door in Eosemary Street. A knot of women and children awaited his coming. Passing through them he soon learned what had happened. Poor Mis. Ginx! Without staying to think or argue, he took up the little stranger and bore it from the room "0,0, 0, Ginx! Ginx! I" ..» ight to } could LAW AND NECESSITY. 35 r. ty. 3 solves, IS born. ig from le fixed a little wouldn't mother r taken nothing Lends of )iit the v\atchcd 10 after- cxcite- set. A ?oming. d what fVithout le littlo She would have risen, but a strong nower called weakness pulled her back. ^i ^ :ii j}c The man meanwhile had reached the street. " Here he comes ! There's the baby ! He's going to do it, sure enough !" shrieked the women. The children t?tood agape. He stopped to consider. It is very well to talk about drowning your baby, but to do it you need two things, water and opportunity. Yauxhall Bridge was the nearest way to the former, and towards it Ginx turned. "Stop him!" ''Murder!" '' Take the child from him :" The crowd grew larger, and impeded the man's progress. Some of his fellow-workmen stood by regarding the fun. "Leave us aloan, naabors," shouted Ginx; " this is my own baby, and I'll do Avot I likes with it. I kent keep it; an' if I've got anythin' I kent keep, it's best to get rid of it, ain't it? I'his child's going over WauxhuU Bridge." But the women clung to his arms and coat- tails. ' " Hollo ! What's all this about?" said a sharp strong man, well-dressed and in good condition, 36 GINX'S BABY. coming up to the crowd ; " another foundling ! Confound the place, the very stones produce babies. Where was it found ?" Chorus. Q-ecognismg a deputy relieving officer,') It vvarn't found at all ; it's Ginx's baby. Officer. Ginx's baby? Who's Ginx? GiNx. I am. ' Officer. Well ? ^ . Ginx. Well ! Chorus. He's going to drown it. Officer. Going to drown it ? Nonsense. Ginx. I am. Officer. But, bless my heart, that's mur- der ! Ginx. No tain't. I've twelve already at home. Starvashon's shure to lull this 'un. Best ^ive it the trouble. Chorus. Take it away, Mr. Smug, he'll kill it if you don't. Officer. Stiiif and nonsense ! Quite con- trary to law ! Why, man, you're bound to sup- port your child. You can't throw it off in that way ; — nor on the parish neither. Give me your name. I must get a magistrate's order. The act of parliament is as clear as daylight. I had a man up under it last week. '' Whosoever 5 jA w*^^^^ I LAW AND NECESSITY. 3t idling ! )roduco officer,) onse. t's mur- 3ady at his 'un. le'll kill ito con- to sup- in that ive mo J order, ight. I osoevor i shall unlawfully abandon or expose any child, being under the age of two years whereby the life of such child shall be endangered or the health of such child shall have been or shall be likely to be permanently injured (drowning comes under that I think) shall be guilty of a MISDEMEANOUR and being convicted thereof shall be liable at the discretion of the court to be kept in penal servitude for the term of three years or to be imprisoned for any term not exceeding two years with or without hard labour." Mr. Smug, the officer, rolled out this section ^n a sonorous monotone, without stops, like a clerk of the court. It was his pride to know by heart all the acts relating to his department, and to bring them down upon any obstinate head that he wished to crush. Ginx's head, however, was impervious to an act of parlia- ment. In his then temper, the Commi nation Service of St. Ernulphus's curse would h^o been feathers to him. The only feelings arouj^R in his mind by the words of the legislature was one of resentment. To him they seemed unjust, because they were hard and fast, and made no allowance for circumstancci. So he said : GiNx. D tho act of parliament ! What's li^iUiWHH 38 GINX'S BABY. the use of saying I slifin't abandon the cluld, when I can't keep it alive ? Officer. But your bound by law to keep it alive. GiNX. Bound to keep it alive ? How am I to do it? There's the rest on 'em there (nod- ding towards hi house) little better nor alivo now. If that's an act of Parleyment, why don't tlie act of Parleyment provide for 'em ? You know what wages is, and I can't get more than IS going. Chorus. Yes. Why don't Parleyment pro- vide for 'em ? You take the child, Mr. Smug. Officer Qrganlless of grammnr), J/c take the child ! The parish has enough to do to tako care of foundlings and children v^^hose parents can't or don't work. You don't suppose we will look after the children of those who can ? GiNX. Jest so. You'll bring up bastards and beggar's pups, but you won't help an honest man keep his head above water. This child's head is goin' under water anyhow !" — and he prepju'ed to bolt, amid fresh screams from the Chorus. 3IALTIIUS AND MAN. 39 child, kc02) it w am I (nod- )r alive y don't ' You ro than snt pro- Smug. ike the to take parents wa will 'ds and honest child's Eind he )m the VII. — Malthug and Man. Two gentlemen, who had been observing the excitement, here came forward. First Gentleman. This is our problem again, Mr. Philosopher. Mr. PiiiLOSoniER (to Glnx). You don't know what to do with your infimt, my friend, and you think the State ought to provide for it? I understand you to say this is 3^our thirteenth child. How came you to have so many ? This question, though put with profound and even melancholy gravity, diwconcerted Ginx, Officer and Chorus, who united in a hearty out- burst of laughter. Ginx. Haw, Haw, Haw ! "How came I to have so many ? Why my old woman's a good un and In fact, after searching his mind for some clever way of putting a comcial rejoinder, Ginx laughed boisterously. There are tw^o aspects of a question. PiiiLOSoriiER. I am serious, my friend. Did it never occur to you that you had no right to bring children into the world unless you couhl feed and clothe and educate theni ? Chorus. Laws a' mercy I Ginx. Pd like to know how I could help it, naabor. Pm a married man. I 40 GINX'S BABY. Philosopher. Well, I will go further and say 3^ou ought not to have married without a fair prospect of being able to provide for any contingent increase of family. Chorus. Laws a' mercy ! Philosopher (icaxing waryii). What right had you to marry a poor woman, and then both of you, with as little forethought as two — a — dogs, or other brutes — to produce between you such a multitudinous progeny — GiNX. Civil words, naabor; don't call my family hard names. Philosopher. Then let me say, such a mon- strous number of children as thirteen? You knew, as j^ou said just now, that wages were wages and did not vary much. And yet you have gone on subdividing your resources by the increase of what must become a degenerate offspring. (To the Chorus) All you workpeople arc doing it. Is it not time to think about these things and stop the indiscriminate production of human beings, whose lives you cannot properly maintain ? Ought you not to act more like reflective creatures and less like brutes ? As if breeding were the whole object of life ! How much better for you, my friend, if you had never married at all, than to have the worrj of a wife and children all these years. I MALTIIUS AND MAN. 41 er and hout a or any L right m both — a — en you ft xll my a mon- ? You js were id yet fcos by )nerate :people t these jtion of 'operly ^c like As if How )u had orrj of The philosopher had gone too far. There were some angry murmurs among the women and Ginx's face grew dark. lie was thinking of "all those years" and the poor creature that from morning to night and Sunday to Sunday, in calm and storm, had clung to his rough affec- tions : and the bright eyes, and the winding arms so often trellised over his tremendous form, and the coy tricks and laughter that had cheered so many tirpd hours. He may have been much of a brute, but he felt that, after all, that sort of thing was denied to dogs and pigs. Before he could translate his thoughts into words or acts a shrewd-looking, curly-haired stonemason, who stood by with his tin on his arm, cut into the discussion. Stonemason. Your doctrines won't go down here, Mr. Philosopher. I've 'eard of them before. I'd just like to ask you what a man's to do and what a woman's to do if they don't marry ; and if they do, how can you honestly hinder them from having any children ? The stonemason had rudely struck at the cardinal issues of the question. Philosopher. Well, to take the last point first, there are physical and ethical questions involved in it, which it is hard to discuss before such an audience as this. 42 GINX S BABY. Stone:\iason. But you must discuss 'cm, if you wish us to chiingo our wiiys, and stop breed in <>:. PiiiLoscPiiEii. Very well: perhaps you are right. But, again, I should first have to estab- lish a basis for my arguments, by showing that the conc'e})tion of n\arriagc entertained by you all is a low one. It is not simply a breeding matter. The beauty and value of the relation lies in its educational cllect — the cultivation of mutual sentiments and refinements of great importimco to a community. , Stonemason. Ay ! Yery beautiful and re- fining to Mr. and Mrs. Philosopher, but I'd like to Icnow where the country would have been if our fathers had held to that view of matrimony ? why, ain't it in natur' for all beings to pair, and have young ? an' 3'ou say wo ain't to do it ! I think a statesman ou<>'ht to make somcthinf»: out of what's iiateral to human beings, and not try to change their naturs. Besides, ain't there good of another kind to be got out ef the rela- tion of parents and children f Did you ever have a child yourself? GiNx (conte7nplati7ig the Fhilusopliers physique^' He have a youngster ! He couldn't. Chorus. Ila ! Ha ! Ha ! lOii, MALTIIUS AND MAN, 43 cni, if stop u are e^tab- ^ that Y you edinii: lation OM of groat 1(1 ro- ll like )oii if loiiy ? L", and ;! I thing :1 not there i re la- over iqiie) ' Stonemason. I don't believe in your hum- biiggin' notions. They lead to lust and crime ; I'm told tliey do in France. If you yourself havn't the human natur in you to know it, I'll tell you, and wo can all tell you that as a rule if the healthy desires of natur' ain't satisfied in honest way, they will be in another. You can't stop eating- by passin' an act of Parleyment to ytop it. And as for yer eddication and culti- vation, that makes no diiferonce. AVe know sonicthinghere about yer eddicatod men ; — nioro than you think. Who is it we meet about the streets late at niglit, goin' to the gay houses ? Some of 'em stand near as high as you, but that don't alter their natur. They have thoir passions like other men ; and eddicalion don't k'cep 'em down. Well^ if that's the case, how can you ask people of our f?ort to put on the curb, or make us do it ? Are wo to live more like beasts th;in wo do now, or do what's worse than mur- der? I don't see no other way. Among us T tell you, sir, threc-fourlhs of our eddication is eddication of the hear. Wo have to learn to be human, kind, se!f-denyin', and I think this makes better men, as a rule, than head learnin'; tho' I don't despise that, neither. But you don't suppose head-citizens would fight for their country like men with wives and children be- hind 'em; why they don't even at homo 44 GINX'S BABY. work for daily food like a man with wife and babies to provide for ! The stonemason was above his class — one of those shrewd men that " the people called Methodists" get hold of, and use among the lower orders, under the name of " local preach- ers;" men who learn to think and speak better than their fellows. The Philosopher testified some admiration by listening attentively, and was about to reply, but the Chorus was tired, and the women would not hear him. CnoRus. Best get out o' this. We don't want any o' yer filhosoj^hy. Go and get childei*' of yer own, &c., &c. The Philosopher and his friend departed, carrying with them unsolved the problem they had brought. *** VIII.— Thoy Baby's First Translation. The stonemason had been the hero of the mo- ment ; now attention centred on our own hero, Ginx hurried off again, but as the crowd opened before him, ne was met, and his mad career stayed, by a slight figure, feminine, draped in black to the feet, wearing a curiously framed white-winged hood above her pale face, and a THE baby's first TRANSLATION. 45 vifo and — ono of called aong the preach- ik better testified ^ely, and as tired, 7g don't 'j childei'' leparted, om they the mo- wn hero, d opened d career •aped in ^ framed 30, and a large cross suspended from her girdle. Ho could not run her down. Nun. Stop, Man ! Are you mad ? Give me the child. He placed the little bundle in her arms. She uncovered the queer, ruby face, and kissed it. Ginx had not looked at the face before, but after seeing it, and the act of this woman, he could not have touched a ]:air of his child's head. His purpose died from that moment, though his perplexity was still alive. Nun. Let me have it. I will take it to the Sister's Home, and it shall live there. Your wife may come and nurse it. We will take charge of it. Ginx. And you won't send it back again ? You'll take it for good and all. Nun. 0, yes. Ginx. Good. Give us your hand. A little white hand came out from under her burthen, and was at once half-crushed in Ginx's elephantine grasp. Ginx. Done. Thank'ee, missus. Come, mates, I'll stand a drink. A few minutes after, the woman of the cross, who had been up to comfort the poor mother, fluttered with her white wings down Hosemary Street, carrying in hcx- arms Ginx's Baby. PAET IT FAUl' II. WHAT ClIAlilTY AND THE CHUKCHES' DID WITH HIM. T.— Tho Milk of Human Kindness, Mother's Milk, and the Milk of tho Word. THE early clays of his rcsidenco at the Home of the Sisters of Misery, in Winkle Street, was tho Eden of Ginx's ]3aby's existence Themselves innocent of a mother's experiences, the sisters wore free to give play to their aliec- tions in a novel direction, and to assume a sort of spiritnal maternity that was lucky for the changeling. lie was nestled in kind serge-cov- ered arms : kisses rained upon him from chaste lips. A slight scandal thrilled the convent upon the discovery of his sex, wdiich had of course been a pure matter of conjecture to Sister Pudi- citia when she rescued him ; hut enthusiasm can overcome anything. The awkward ques- tions foreshadowed in the discovery were left to bo considered when their growing importance should demand upon them the judgment of the archbitehop. Yisions of an unusual sanctity to be fostered in the x>uro regions of the convent, '^ 48 GINX S BABY. and to be sent on a mission into the world to attest the power of their spiritual discipline, be- gan to liannt the brains of tlie sequestered nuns. Might not this infant be an embryo saint, des- tined for a great work in the heretical wilder- ness out of whicli ho had come? How little healthy food the brains must have had wherein those insane dreams were excited by our inno- cent baby ? Hardly did the sacred spinsters forecast what was in store for them when he ahould be teething. But Ginx's Baby was in a religious atmo- sphere, and that is always surcharged with elec- tricity. His lot must have been above that of any other human being if he could long have re- mained in such a climate unvisited by thunder. The mother had been permitted to attend at the Home with the same regularity as the milkman, to discharge her maternal duties. Then with the rise of the visionary projects just mentioned the gravest doubts began to agitate the fertile and casuistic mind of the Lady Superior. The holier her ideal St. Ginx of the future, the more to be deplored was any heretical taint in the present. Holy moiher! Was it not perhaps eminently perilous to his spiritual purity that an unbeliever like Mrs. Ginx should bring un- consecrated milk into the convent to bo admin- i j MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS, ETC. 49 rorld to line, be- 3d nuns. ,int, des- wilder- )vv littlo wherein )ur inno- ^pinsters v^hen he IS atmo- ith elec- e that of have re- thunder, d at the iiilkman, I en with ntioned e fertile r. Tho he more in the perhaps ■ity that ring un- admin- istcrcd to tliis suckliiii;- of tho Cliui't-li ! In her uneasiness she appealed to the Father Corliii- catus, the conventual confessor. He gave his opinion in the following letter : — a Dear Sister Suspiciosa, '' The very gi-avo question you have put to me has given me much anxiety. It could not but do so since it occupied, I knew, so fully your own holy reflections. I pondered it during the night while I repeated one hundred Aves on my kness, and 1 think the J>lessed Virgin has vouchsafed her assistance. "I understood yon to sajwou thought that the ph3^sical health of the infant, so singularly and miraculously thrown upon your care, re- quired the offices of his heretic mother, and yet that you felt how inconsistent it was with tho noble future we contemplated i")r liim, that he should receive nnorthodox lacteal sustentation. In this you ai'e but following the usage of tho Church in all ages, for She has ever enjoined the advantage of infusing Her doctrines into Her children with the mother's milk. " Three courses onh' appear to me to be open to us. First, we may try to work upon the mother's feelings, and on behalf of her ch^Id in- J 50 GINX'S BABY. duce her to avail herself of the inestimable privileges of the Church in which he is fostered. Secondly, should she repel us — and these lower class heretics are even brutally refractory — we might at least allure her to allow us to make with holy water the sign of the Cross upon the natural reservoirs of infant nourishment each time before she approaches the infant. This, besides overcoming the immediate difficulty and securing for the child a supply of sanctified food, might open the way for the entrance into her own bosom of the milk of the word. Thirdly, should she reject these proposals, I see nothing for it but to forbid her to have access to her in- fant, and, commending him to the care of the Holy Mother, to feed him with pap or other suitable nourishment, previously consecrated by me in its crude state, and prepared by the most holy hands of your community. Thus we may hope to shield the young soul in its present freshness from contact with carnal elements. '' Your loving Father in, &c., " Certificatus." On receiving this letter the Superiors con- ferred not with flesh and blood, but sent for Mrs. Ginx. That worthy woman was not en- ttssaaias^^Z^&^^^a^I^^^^K^i^ ^k^.feifdnbiMui<.^ttcar.\. ^a^^fw^ti^Wlk . 'b- lestiraable 8 fostered, lese lower 3tory — we 8 to make i upon the aent each nt. This, Rculty and tified food, ;e into her Thirdly, ee nothing ? to her in- are of the p or other ecrated by Y the most as we may ts present ements. &c., MTLK OF HUMAN KINDNESS, ETC. 51 ICATUS. >> chanted with her child's position. I have hint- ed that her faith was simple, but in proportion to its simplicity it was strongly- rooted in her nature. 'Tis not infrequent to find it so. Lengthy creeds and confessions of faith are apt to extend the strength and fervour of belief over too wide a surface. In the close frame of some single article will be concentrated the whole energy of the soul. The first formula, "Repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ," was maintained with a heat that became less intense, though more disturbed, in the assertion of an Athanism creed. Mrs. Ginx's creed was succinct. Mrs. Ginx's Primary Creed. 1 believe in God, giver of bread, meat, money, and health. This she maintained, with indificrent ritual and devotional observances. But there was to Mrs. Ginx's faith a corollary or secondary creed, only needed to meet special emergencies. triors con- ifc sent for as not en- Mrs. Ginx's Secondary Creed. 1. I believe in the Church of England. 2. I believe in Heaven and Hell. f ^ 52 GINX S BABY. 3. (A noi>;titivc article) I hale Popeiy, prier^ts, and llie Devil. "When her husband made his fatal gift to the nun. this third article of his wife's belief, or un- beliet, stirred up and waxed aggressive. Said the Lad}" Superior, " My good woman, 3'our child thi'ives under the care of Holy Mother Church." " Yes'm, he thrives well," replies Mrs. Ginx, repeating no more of Sister Suspiciousa's sen- tence, "an' I've 'ad more milk than ever for the darlin' this time, thank Ciod." " And the Holy Virgin." " I dunno about her," cries Mrs. CJinx empha- tically, pei'haps not seeing congruity between ix virgin and the subject of thankfulness. '* And the Holy Virgin," repeated the nun, ^' Avho interests herself in all mothers. She has thus blessed you that your child may be made strong for th-j work of the Church. Do you not see a miracle is w^orked within 3'ou to prove Her goodness? This, no doubt, is an evidence to you of Jler wish to bless you and take you for Her own. I beseech you listen to Ifer voice, and come and enter Her fold." MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS, ETC. 53 ])ricsls, ft to the ii\ or 11 n- woman J of Holy vs. Ginx, isa's scn- ;r for the : enipha- ^twcen ix he nun, Slie has )C made you not o prove •idence you for 13 r voice, '•If you mean the Virgin ^fary, mum, I ain't a idohater, beggin' yer parding," says Mrs. Ginx; '' an' tho' I wouldn't for the world offend them as has been so kind to mv child, an' saved it from tliat deer little creetur bein' thrown over Wauxhall ]^)ri(]ge — an' Ginx ought to be ashamed of himself, so he ought— 1 ain't Papish, mum, an' I ain't dispoged, wnth twelve of 'em there at home all Protestant to the back bone, to turn Papish now, an' so 1 'ope an' j)ray mum," says Mrs. Ginx, roaring and crying, " you ain't agoin' to make Papish of mj- flesh and blood. O dear ! O dear !" The Lady Superior shut her ears ; she had raised a ftimiliar spirit and could not lay it. She temporised. *' You know^ your husband has given the child to us. It will be called the infant Am- brosius." ''Dear, dear!" sighed Mrs. Ginx, ''what a name ! " We wish him to be kept from any worldly taint, and b3'-and-by his saintliness may gain you forgiveness in'ispite of your heretical perver- sity. 1 cannot j^ermit you to give him uncon- secrated milk, and as we wish to treat you kind- ly, the hol}^ Father Certificatus has allowed mo to make an arrangement with you, to which 54 GINX S BABY. you can have no objection — I mean, thai you should let me make the sign of the cross upon your breasts morning and evening before you suckle your infant. You will permit me to do that, won't you ?" Conceive of Mrs. Ginx's reply, clothed in choice Westminster English : it asserted her readiness to cut off her right hand, her feet, to be hanged, drowned, burned, torn to pieces, in fact to withstand all the torments ascribed by vulgar tradition to the Roman Catholic inge- nuity, and to see her baby " a dead corpse" into the bargain, before she would submit her Pro- testant bosom to such an indignity. ''No, mum !" she cried ; '♦ I couldn't sleep with that on my breast;" and cried hysteri- cally. This lower class herctici677s '' brutall}^ refrac- tory." So thought thr superioress, and so gave Mrs. Ginx notice to come no more. She went home rather jubilant — she was a martyr. i II. — The Protestant Dotectoral Association. Ginx's Baby was now fed on consecrated pap. But his mother was not a woman to be silent under her wrongs. From her husband she hid DETECTORAL ASSOCIATION. 55 I at you IS upon )re you e to do bed in ed her feet, to 3ces, in [bed by ie inge- le" into er Pro- t sleep ysteri- refrac- ]0 gave e went I i them, because the subject was forbidden. She poured out her complaint to Mrs. .Spittal and other Protestant matrons. Thus it came to pass that one day, in Grinx's absence, the good woman was surprised by a visit from a ''gentleman." He was small, sharp, rapid, dressed in black. He opened his business at once. " Mrs. Ginx ? Ah ! I am the agent for the Protestant Detectoral Association." Mrs. Ginx wiped her best chair and set it for him. *' By great good fortune the secretary received only half an hour ago intelligence of the shock- • ing instance of Papal aggression of which you have been the victim." To hear her case put so grandly was honey to Mrs. Ginx. "Well now," continued the little man," we. are ready to render 3'ou every assistance to save your child from the claws of the Great Dragon. I wish to know the exact circumstances — let me see — (opening a large pocket book) 1 have this memorandum : the child was carried off from his ynother's bedside in broad daylight by a nun occom- panied by two priests and a large body of Irish; is that a correct version?" *' Law, no, sir, it wran't quite like that," said Mrs. Ginx. " We've 'ad so many on 'em that 56 QINX'S BABY. Ginx was for drownin' the thirtcerith" — — The little man opened his eyes ^' An' ho went an' gave it away, sir,'' said she crying, " to a nun, sir — ah ! ah ! ah ! — they won't let me see the darlin' now, sir — ah ! ah j ah ! because I won't let Missis Spishyosir mark me with the cross, sir, an' me with as fine a breast o' milk as ever was for 'ini sir — ah ! ah i ah!" " Hero !" said the little man, '' that's different from what I understood." lie was quite honest, but who does not know how disappointing it is to find a wrong you wish to redress is not so bad as you had hoped ? However, it looked bad enough, and might be made worse. It was the very case for the Pro- tcstant Detectoral Association. " AYould Mr. Ginx not join in an effort to re- cover his child?" *'No, sir; I should think not: he went an' gave it away." " I know ; but he is a Protestant ?" ''I don't think he be much o' anything, sir. I know he hate priests like poison, but he don't care about these thiniifs as I do." ''Oh! I see." Writes in his memorandum book — husband indifferent* ' i nth"— [lid sliG — llicy 1 ! ah I r mark fine a ill ! ah ! » ifferent )t know oil wish i? lig-ht be he Pro- I't to rc- ent an' ing, sir. le don't randum DETECTORAL ASSOCIATION. 57 (( But don't you think lie would help you to L^et the child back airain ? n "No, sir. I wouldn't speak of it to him for the world. He'd knock any one down if they was to mention the child to him." The little man mentally determined not to sec Ginx. ^'Well; would jou like to have your chikl back ? "You see, I couldn't brint^ it 'ere. sir. Ginx won't 'ave it; but I'd like to see it took away from them nunnery s." "Ha! very well then. "We can perhaps manage it for you. You will be content to hand it over to the Protestant Home, where it would be taken care of and you could see it when you liked ?" ^, " yes, sir," cries Mrs. Ginx, brightening. ^' "Then we'll have an affidavit and apply for a Habeas Corpus." It was impressible not to be satisfied with such words as these, whatever they meant, and Mrs. Ginx was cheered, while the little man went on his way. * ^ * * -i'.? % 58 GINX'5 BABY. III. — The Sacrament of Baptism. Mother, or " Mrs." Suspiciosa, fed Ginx's Baby with holy pap. It seemed proper now that he should be christened and formally received into the Church. No small stir was made by this ceremony, for which all the resources of the convent was called into action. The day selected was that sacred to St. Ambrosius. The chapel was decorated with flowers. Mass was celebrated, candles flamed upon the altar surrounding a figure of the Infant Jesus, incense was burning around the baby, sisters and novices knelt in- serried I'ows of virginity " like doYos Sunning their milky bosoms on the thatch." Mother Suspiciosa carried the infant, clothed in a pure white robe, with a red cross em- broidered on its front. In the absence of the natural parent a wax figure of St. Am- brosius did duty for him, and another wax figure stood godfather : but I dare not enter into details of matters that may be looked at as awfully profame, or awlully solemn, by dif- ferent spectators, These things ai*e a mys- tery. jinx's L" now mally r was 1 tho into red to orated andlos uro of iround ierried lothed 3S cm- of tho Am- wax enter ccd at }y dif- mys- 1 THE SACRAMENT OF BAPTISM. K8 # I have no hesitation about describing tho impious behaviour of little Ginx. Whatever swaddled infant could do in the way of oppo- sition, with hands, and legs, and voice, was done by that embryo saint. The incense made him cough and h;putter ; tho lights and sinking raised the very devil with him. His cries drowned the prayers. He frightened his conductress by the redness of his face. Ho ruined the red cross with ejected matter. You would have taken him for an infant demo- niac. Mother Suspiciosa, though annoyed, was encouraged. She looked upon this as an evident testimony to little Ginx's value. » The Devil and St. Michael were contending for his body. At length ho was baptized, and carried out. Credat Jiidoeus. He in- stantly sank into a deep sleep. It was a miracle : Satan had yielded to the sign of the cross ! IV. — Law on Behalf of fiospcl. In the moment of Sister Suspiciosa's triumph, the enemy was laying his train against her. The little man made his report to the secre- tary of the Protestant Detectoral Association. % GO GINX'S BABY. Thiw gciillcnian was well-born and woll-bred ; moved to work in this " c'i>nso "by an honest liatrcd of Bupcrstition, priestcraft, and lies; now giving all his cno^'icics to the ambitious desifj;n of pnllini^ do\ the stron<>-]iolds of Satan. Jn any other matter lie could act coolly, an9, Plumtree Court:' 66 GINX'S BABY. If none of the courses suggested by Mr. Stigma was very decided, Messrs. Round- head, Roundhead and Lollard were not sorry to have three strings to their bow. The De- tectoral Association were good clients ; most of their funds went into their lawyers' pockets. Thereby the world was kept alive to the existence of Papacy within its bosom. Who shall say the Association were wrong ? Sortie Wealthy daylight was occasionally let in upon the mysteries of Jesuitism, and there are people who think that worth while at the risk of a chance injustice. Though the Devil should not get his due few would give him any sympathy. The solicitor at once instructed Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q.C., to apply with Mr. Stigma to a magistrate for a summons. Mr. Bailey, Q.C., was not chosen for his partialities. In religious matters he was a perfect Gallio ; but he was like St. Paul in one particular, he could be all things to all men. V. — Magistrate's Law. ' The personnel of the magistrate to whom Mr. Dignam Bailey, Q.C., (with him Mr. Adolphus Stigma), applied in the case of re an infant, exparte Ginx, is not material to Ujab'aUta.'Sn MAGISTRATE'S LAW. 67 this history. He was like his fellow stipen- diaries — mild as to humour, vigilant in his duties, opinionated in his views, resenting the troublesome intrusion into his court of a barrister, apt to treat him with about one-eighth of the courtesy extended to the humblest junior by the Queen's Bench, and curiously unequal both with himself and his brother magistrates in adjusting punish- ment. It will be most convenient to insert the report of the Daily Electric Meteor : — ** Westminster. '' Mr. Dignara Bailey, Q.C., (with whom wag Mr. Adolphus Stigma), applied for a summons against Mary Dens, commonly called Sister Suspiciosa, of the convent of the Sisters of Misery, in Winkle Street, for abducting and detaining a male child of John Ginx and Mary his wife. '' Mr. D' Acerbity, On whose behalf do you apply? "The learned counsel stated that he was instructed by the Protestant Detectoral As- sociation to apply on behalf of the mother. The case was also watched by the solicitors 68 GilNx's BABY. of tho Society for Preventing the Suppression of Women and Children. "Mr. D'Acerbity. Does the father join in the application ? " Mr. Bailey. No, sir. " Mr. D' Acerbity. What ? lie ought to be joined if living. *' Mr. Bailey. Perhaps you will allow me> sir, to state the case. The circumstances are peculiar. The fact is "Mr. D'Acerbity. I cannot understand why the father should not be represented if the child has been abducted. Where was it taken from? Mr. Bailey proceeded to state that tho child had been taken by a nun from No. 5, Bosemary Street, without the mother's con- sent, and was now imprisoned in tho convent. The father appeared to be indifferent, or to have given a sort of general acquiescence. This was Mrs. Ginx's thirteenth child, around whom gathered the concentrated affections " Mr. D'Acerbity (interrupting the learned gentleman.) We have no time for sentiment here, Mr. Bailey. If the father consented, can you call it abduction ? It looks like re- duction. (Laughter.) P^!a^^?rff^^^^B^H magistrate's law. 09 Mr. Bailey called attention to the conso- lidated statutes of criminal law, and said he was going for illegal detention rather tlian abduction, and argued at great length from section 56. A.t the conclusion of the argu- ment, after refusing to hear Mr. Stigma. " Mr. D' Acerbity said that the case clearly did not come within the section, and he was afraid the learned counsel knew it. The father had been a consenting party, on the counsel's own statement, to the child's re- moval, and no suggest on had been made that he had withdrawn his consent. He should refuse a sumiiions. " Mr. Bailey endeavoured to address the magistrate but was stopped. ''Mil. D'AcERBiTY. 1 have no more to say. You can apply to the Queen's Bench. I have no sympathy with you whatever." Mr. D' Acerbity's law was good, but what has justice to do with "sympathies?" Surely the day after this report appeared the magis- trate must have had a letter from the Home Secretary ? ik ik 70 OINX'S BABY. VI. — Popery and Protestantism in the Queen's Bench. The application to the magistrate was far from satisfactory. There had not even been an exposure, and the Windmill Bulletin gaily bantered the Detectoral Association. Meanwhile had happened the grand christ- ening, of which a circumstantial account was in the hands of the council of the Detectoral Association shortly after the ceremony had been performed. Here w^as a monstrous in- dignity to a Protestant child ! The account was at once printed, together with a verba- tim report of the application to the magis- trate as well as one of '' a conversation held with the mother by an agent of the Asso- ciation." Board -men paraded the great thoroughfares carrying this appeal : — \ l^^lj^-^-^.^*'^^. i^-i^AJi^ciii.-Aii^iiit.'K^ POPERY AND PROTESTANTISM. ^3 Justice, fresh and rosj'-looking, then blew his nose in a di'licate iriauve-coh)ured .silk haiidk'crcdiief: how he tried and discarded half-a-dozen pens, amid breathless silence : how in his bhmdest manner ho said: ''Who appears for the Ilespondent ?" and Mr. l)ii^- nam Bailey, (2.C., and Mr. Octavius Ei'nes- tus, Q.C., rose tog'ether to any tliat Mr. Ernestus did ! Mr. Ernestus was a Catholic. He was assisted by halfa-dozen counsel. He riddled the affidavits on the other side, and read voluminous ones of his own ; bitterly animad- verted upon the absence of an affidavit by the father ; held up to the scorn of a civilized world the course pursued towards his meek and gentle clients by the ''fanatical zealots of the Protestant Detectoral Association ;" in moving tones referred to the shrinking of " quiet recluses, from the gaze of a rude, un- sympathising world ;" cited cases from the time of Magna Charla, down ; called upon the Court to vindicate Protestant justice, end- ing his peroration with the aphorism of Lord Mansfield, Flat just It in mat cadu/n. One cannot do justice to Mr. Dignam Bailey's argument, w^hcn after lunch he rose u GINX'S BABY. to reply. He was logical and passionate, vindictive and pathetic by turns. He in- veighed against tlie Lady Superior, against her attorneys, against Father Cerlilicatus, against Ginx, — " craven to his heaven-born rights of political and religious freedom," — against the Roman Catholic religion, the Pope, the Archbishop of Westminster, the Virgin Mary. The Court knew, and every one else knew, that tliis was pure pyrotechny, and Mr. Bailey knew the best of ail ; but, though the Bench is swift to speak, slow to hear, it felt oblige I in the case of this public interest, to sit by, and be witnesses of the exhibition. Mr. Bailey concluded by a play on the aphorism cited by his learned friend. " He would say that if such justice w^ere to be done, as his friend had urged, the IJ^ingdom of Heaven in England would rush to its fall." The Court at once decided that, as the father had confided the custody of the infant to the Sisters of Misery, • i did n(»t appear to desire that it si ' ' drawn, they, disregarding the r in which the subject had beei jo c; ^luiiy involved on both sides, gave judgment for the defendant, with costs. tmm PROTESTOR, BUT NOT A PROTEflTANT. 75 As they passed out of Court, Mr. Stigma said to his clients, ''Quite as I anticipated; you remember I told you so in my Opinion." * >i VIII. — A Protestor, but not a Protestant. The infant Ambrosius and his conductors could scarcely reach the convent in safety. The building showed few windows to the street, but they were all broken. What might have happened in a few days, but that Ginx's Baby took the matter into his own hands, none can say. The treatment to which the little saint was subjected soured his temper. His kind nurses had choked him twice a day with incense, and now he had inhaled for seven hours the air of the Queen's Bench. On his return to the convent he was hastily fed, and carried to the chapel to give thanks for the victory of the day. Wrapped ia a handsome chasuble, they laid him on the steps of the altar. In the most solemn part of the service he coughed, and grew sick. The chasuble was bespattered. When the 6fficiating priest, to save that gar- I 7(1 GINX S BABY. mcnt, look the child in his arms, he nefariously polluted the sacredotal vestments and the altar steps. Then he kicke(] towards the altar it- self, roared lustily, and finally went into eon- vulsions in Sister Suspiciosa's arms. Like most women, the Lady Superior required her enthusiasm to be fed with success. She beii'an to think that she had been cozened : Ginx's Baby was too evidently a spiritual miscarriage. lie must, like the I'cst of his iamily, be, indeed, "Protestant to the back- bone." Father Certificatus ai^reed with her. His robes and best chasuble were befouled. ''Let us not risk a repetition of this con- duct," said he ; '' let the child be given up. lie is ba})tized, and cannot be severed from the Church. He will reiurn after many days.' Next morning the solicitors of the Pro- testant Hetcctoral Association received a letter from their opponent!^. In thit^ they said that — presuming Messrs. Roundhead, Eoundhead, and Lollard, intended to apply to the Master of the Rolls, the authorities of the convent had decideifigyB^:u UNITY OF THE SPIRIT. 95 le any , or child was not capable of receiving any ideas whatever, and might die, or prove to be dumb, or an idiot, and so re(pire no education. Ought they not to postpone thi^ discussion until the subject was old enough to be worth con- sideration ? It was Mr. Shortt's habit to show his practical vein by business-like obstructions of this kind. He had been able a score of times to demon- strate to the House of Commons how silly it was to consider probabilities. In fact, he was opposed heart and soul to prophetic legislation ; he would live, legislatively^ from hand to mouth. But the committee would not allow Mr. Shortt to run away with the bone of conten- tion. Tho Rev. Dr. M'Gregor Lucus, of the National Caledonian Believers, had been silent too long to contain hiniself further. This man needs some particular description whenever his name is made public. Nay, for this he lives, and by it, some think. At all events, he appears to bo equally eager for rebuke and applause ; they both involve notoriety, and notoriety is sure to pay. Few absurdities had been overlooked by liis shallow ingenuity. sSimply to have invested his limited mental cndowiucnts in trying to 96 GINX'S BABY. make the world believe him a genius, would have been only so like what many thousands are doing as to have absolved him from too harsh a judgment; but he traded in perilous stuff- Cheap prophecy was his staple. It was his wont to give out about once in five years, that the world would shortly come to an end, and, like Mr. Zadkiel, he found people who thought their inevitable disappointment a ])roof of his inspiration. Had you heard the honeyed words dropping from his lips, you would have taken him for a Scotch angel, and, consequently, a rarity. Could such lips utter harsh sayings, or distil vanities ? Show him a priest, and you would hear! The Pope was his particular born foe; Popery his enemies' country — so he said. It was safe for him to stand and throw his darts. No one could say whether they hit or did not ; while most spectators had the goodwill to hope that they did. How he would have lived if Daniel and St. John had dieamed no dreams, one cannot conjecture. As it was, they provid- ed the doctor with endless openings for his fancy. Since no one could solve the riddle of their prophecies, it was certain that no one could dis- prove his solutions. Yet these came so often to their own disproof by lapse of time, that J. can only think that the good doctor hoped to die liiis, would ■ thousands n too hai'sli ilous stutf. It was his years, tliat I end, and, ho thought roof of his jyed words lave taken quentlj, a sayings, or t, and you cular born ;o he said, t' his darts. * did not ; ill to hope e lived if dreams, y provid- s for his lie of their could dis- o often to at I can ed to die ^gjumi^ UNITY OF THE SPIRIT. 97 before his critical periods came, or was so clever as to trust the infallibility of human weakness. I describe Dr. Lucas at so great a length, be- cause it will be easier and more edifying to the reader to conceive what he said, than for me to recount it. He showed the Baby to be one of seven mysteries. He was in fiivour of teaching him at once to hate idolatry, music, crosses, masses, unn^ priests, bishops, and cardinals. The '' humanities," the Shorter Catechism, the Confession of Faith, and " The Whole Duty of Man," would, in his opinion, be the books to lay the groundwork in the child's mind of a Christian character of the highest typo. Mr. Ogle, M.P., here vigorousl}^ intervened. Said he : — *'I can't, with all defferenc^, agree to any of these suggestions. They involve hand-to-hand fighting over thi» baby's body. jSfo one of us is entitled to lake charge of him. Else why did we all unite to rescue him from the nunnery? He will be torn to pieces among contending divines ! I think a purely secular education is all that a committee should aim at. We have but just withdrawn the child from the shadow of a single ecclesiastical influence — would you transfer it to another ? Every Protestant denom- 98 OINX'S BABY. 1 ination is contributing to his support, how can you devote their gifts to rearing him for one ? You would have no peace ; better at once treat liim, as the man of Benjamin treated his wife, cut him up into enough pieces to send to all the tribes of Israel, summoning them to the figlit. I say we have nothing to do with this just now ; let him be educated in a secular academy, and let each sect be free to send its agents to instruct him out of school hours as they please." The Rev. Theodoret Verity, M. A., rose in anger. '' Surel}^, sir, you cannot seriously propound such a scheme ? Would you leave this precious waif to be bufieted between the contending waves of truth and error, in the vague hope that by some lucky wind he might finally be cast upon a rock of safety ? I protest against all these educational heresies — thcj^ are redo- lent of brimstone. Truth is truth, or there is none at all. If there be any, it is our duty to impart it to this immortal at the outset of his existence. Secular education ! What do you mean by it ? Who shall sever one question from another, and call one secular and the other religious ? Is not every relation and every truth in some way or other connected with religion ?" i,«««.^iBm^^'^^^,.:~.;^. .;VT<'gaffli»''.fe; iiiliiii UNITY OF THE SPIRIT. 99 &c., &c. Mr. Verity has been saying the same thing any time these forty years. « Forgive me," re2)lied Mr. Ogle, " if I say that this is very vague tallving. I have not proposed to sever one question from another. I only propose to do in a ditierent way tliat which is been done now by the most rigid of Mr. Verity's friends. It is impossible to comprehend what is meant by such a state- ment as that every truth is somehow con- nected witli religion. It may be that the notion — if it really is not as I suspect it to be, mere verbiage and clap-trap, used by cer- tain fools to mislead others — means that there is some such coherency between all truths as there is, for instance, between the elements of the body. I would admit that, but is not blood a different and perfectly severable thing from bone ? Each has its place, office, relation. But who would say that one could not be regarded by a physicist in the largest variety of its aspects apart from the other ? Yet the physicist comes back again to con- sider with respect to each its relations to all the rest! The separate study has rather prepared him for more profound insight into those relations. Thus it is with the body of truth. In spite of Mr. Verity I m 100 OINX'S BABY. aflfirm that there are truths that have not in themselves any element of religion whatever. The forty-seventh proposition of Euclid will be taught by a Jesuit precisely as it is taught in the London University; geograghy will affirm certain princii)les and designate places, rivers, mountains — that no faith can remove and cast into unknown seas. These subjects and others are taught in our mosl bigoted schools in separate hours and relations from religion. What then do you moan by affirm- ing that there can be no secular education of this child — apart from religious teaching? We arc not likely to agree, if 1 may judge from what I have seen, on any one method of religious instructions for it, therefore I wish first to fix common bounds within which our com- mon benevolence maj^ work. Well, we all go to the Bible. We agree that between its covers lies religious truths somewhere. If you like let him have that — and let him have some kindly and holy influences about him in the way of practice and example, such as many of our sects can supply many instances of. Give him no catechism — let him read a creed in our daily life. The articles of faith strongest in his soul will be those which have crystal- lised there from the combined action of truth : 1 i UNITY OF THE SPIRIT. and experience, and not as it were jmsted on its walls by ecclesiastical bill-posters. ' What is truth ?' he must aslc and answer for himself, as we all must do before God. Don't mistake me ; I hope I am not more indifferent to religion than any here present — but I differ from them on the best method of imbuini^' the mind and heart with it. Surely we need not, we cannot — it would be an exquisite absurdity — pass a resolution in this com- mittee that the child is to be a Calvinist ! Who then would agree to secure him from any taint of Arminian heresy in years to come? Dare you even resolve that it shall be a Christain and a Protestant! I would not in- sure the risk. But, with so many of Christ's followers about me, surely, surely without providing any ecclesiastical mechanism, there will be testitied to him simply how he may be saved. Your prayers, your visits, 3'our kindly moral influence and talk, your living exam])le of a goodness derived not from dog- mas but from atlcctionate following of a holy pattern and trust in revealed mercies, your pointing to that pattern and showing the daily passage of these mercies will prompt his search after the truth that has made you what you are. Let some good woman do for IM ^ A/. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) r/ A L^< c?- ■i' C/j fA i 1.0 I.I '' i|j|!M 1 2.5 m 12.2 1.25 III 1.4 1= 1.6 V] f- #«;. a V^ 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, NY MS80 (716) 872-4503 6^ I •i-' £?. W h. s W- %P. I I SB 102 GINX'S BABY. i^ ■ ■ him a mother's part, but chooao her for her general goodness and not for the dogmas of her church. The simpler her piety the better for him I should say !" This straightforward speech fell like a new apple of discord in the midst of the committee. Angry knots were formed, and the noble chairman found that he could not restore order. An adjournment was agreed to. Luckily for the body of Ginx's Baby, he had been meanwhile sent to a home where Protestant money secured to him for the time good living, while his benefactors were discussing what to do with his soul. Surely, it were no impertinence to inter- rupt this history and advert to the foot, that, in the discussion just related, every one was to some extent right and to some extent agreed. That religious teaching was due to an im" mortal spirit — some notion and evidence of the Divine and the Great Hereafter to be con- veyed to it — scarce was disputed. Nor was there collision over the necessity of what is called intelleqtual cultivation. The boy must A DIGRESSION. 103 be taught something of the world in which he was to live; nay, this latter knowledge seemed to be most immediately practical. As each disputant fixed his eye on one or the other aim that end appeared to him to be the most important. Hence, by a natural lapse, they came to treat subjects as antagonistic which were, in fact, parallel and quite consistent. The one called the others godless — the others threw back the aspersion of bigotry. Then came complication. What was ''religion?" Intellectual culture they could agree about — it embraced well-known areas ; but this reli- gion divided itself into many disputable fields. Those brother Protestants were like country neighbours who must encounter each other at fairs, markets, meets, and balls, and smile and greet, though each, at heart, is look- ing savagely at the other's landmarks, and most are very likely fighting bitter lawsuits all the while. It was because religion meant CREED to most members of the committee, and because it so implies to the vast bodies they represented, that they could not come to terms about Ginx's Baby or any other in- fantile immortal. Not always, perhaps, but often, they fought for futile distinctions. Had Mahomet's creed consisted of but one article, 104 GINX'S BABY. wis There is one God, the blood of many nations might never have given testimony against the creed they resented when to it he tacked and Mahomet is His ^?ro/)/^e^ Could Protes- tants but consent to agree in their agreement and peacefully differ in their petty diifer- enceo, how would the aggregated impulse of a simple faith roll down before it all the impediments of error ! When Grinx's Baby had grown to a dis- cretionary age, and was at all able to know truth from error — supposing that to be know- able — there were in the country fifty thousand reverend gentlemen of every tincture of reli- gious opinion who might ply him with their various theories, yet few of tliese v^ould be contented unless they could seize him w^hile his young nature was plastic, and try to imprint on immortal clay the trade-mark of some human invention. XII. — No funds — no Faith, no Works. The Committee of the Protestant Detectoral Union on Ginx's Baby held twenty-three meet- ings. They were then as far from unity of pur- pose as when they set out. Variety was given NO FUNDS — NO FAITH. 105 . to the meetings by changing the combinations of members in attendance. The finances were little heeded in the intensity of their zeal for truth. These at length fell altogether into the hands of the association's secretary, and we have ^een involved large items of expense. The twenty-three meetings extended over a year. At the end of that time the secretary startled the committee by laying on the table a demand for the board and keep of the Protestant baby for three months, amounting to £36 ; and add- ing that the sum in hand was £1. 4s. 4J^. In his report he said : ^'No effort has been spared by means of advertisements, pamphlets, tales, leaders and paragraphs in newspapers and reli- gious journals, together with occasional ser- mons, to maintain the public interest in this child; but attention has been diverted from him by the great Koman Spozzl case, and the anx- iety created through the Protestant world by the recent discovery made by Dr. Gooddco, of a solitary survivor of the ancient Church of the Vieuxbois Protestants in a secluded valley of the Pyrenees." The secretary asked the committee to provide the money to discharge the baby's liabilities; but they instantly adjourned, and no eflbrt could jifter wards get a quorum together. When the I I s 106 GINX'S BABY. persons who had charge of the Protestant found- ling discovered the state of affairs they began to dun the secretary and to neglect the child, now about thirteen months old and preparing to walk. Since no money appeared they sold what- ever clothes bad been provided for him, and absconded from the place where they had been farming him for Protestanism. The secretary hearing of this was discreet enough to make no inquiries. Ginx's Baby, as a Protestant ques- tion vanished from the world. I never heard that any one was asked what had been done with the funds; but I have already furnished the account that ought to have been rendered. u , XIII. — In transitu. One night, near twelve o'clock, a shrewd trades- man, looking out of his shop door before he turned into bed, heard a cry which proceeded from a bundle on the pavement. This he dis- covered to be an inlant wrapt in a potato-sack. He was quick enough to observe that it had been deftly laid over a line chiselled across the pavement to the corner of his house, which line he knew to be the boundary between his own parish of St, Simon Magus and the adjacent IN TRANSITTT. 107 1 parish of St. Bartimeus. He took note, being a busiDess man, of the exact position of the child's body in relation to this line, and then conveyed it to the workhouse of the other parish. ...ii es- he led lis- L'k. lad .he . ' - ' — ne Nil ■'■' ", '■ FART in. WHAT THE PARISH DID WITH HIM. 1. — Parochial Knots to be untied without prejudice. THE infant borne to the workhouse of St. Bartimeus was Ginx's Bab3^ When he had been placed on the floor of the matron's room, and examined by the master, that official turned to the unwelcome bearer of the burden. ''Did you find this child?" "Yes." * . . "Where?" " Lying opposite my shop in Nether Place." " What's your name ?" " Doll." " Oh ! you're the cheesemonger. Your shop's on the other side of the boundary, in the other parish. The child ought not to come here j it doesn't belong to us." " Yes it does : it wasn't on my side of tKo line." "But it was in front of your house ?" PAROCHIAL BENEVOLENCE. 109 " Well, the line runs crossways.' it don't fol- low the child was in our parish." "Oh, nonsense I there's no doubt about it! We can't take the child in. You must carry it away again." Mr. Snigger turned to leave the room. ''Wait a bit sir," said Mr. Doll; ''I shall leave the child here, and you can do as you like with it. It ain't mine, at all events. I say it lay in your parish ; and if you don't look after it you may be the worse ol it. The coroner's sure to try to earn his fees. Good-night." He hurried from the room. "Stop 1" shouted the master, '' I say : I don't accept the child. You leave it here at your own risk. We keep it without prejudice, remember — without prejudice, sir ! — without " Mr. Doll was in the street and out of hearing. II. — A Board of Guardians. The Guardians of St. Bartimeus met the day after Mr. Doll's clever stratagem. Among other business was a report from the master of the workhouse that a child, name unknown, found by Mr. Doll, cheesemonger, of Nether Place, in the Parish of St. Simon Magus, opposite his 110 GINX'S BABT. shop, and, as ho alleged, on the nearer side of the parish boundarj^, had been left at the work- house, and was now in the custody of the matron. The Guardians were not accustomed to restrain themselves, and did not withhold the expression of their indignation upon this an- nouncement. As Mr. Doll had himself been a guardian of St. Simon Magus, it was clear to their impartial minds that he was trying by a trick to foist a bastard — perhaps his own — on the wrong parish. Mr. Cheekey, a licensed victualler, moved that the master's report be put under the labb. Mr. Slinkum, draper, seconded the motion. Mr. Edge, ironmonger, pointed out that there was no parliamentary precedent for such a dis- position of the report, and further that such action did not dispose of the baby. ''Well," said Mr. Cheekey, turning painfully red, ''no matter how ye put. T move to get rid of the brat. What*s the best form of motion?" A churchwarden, who happened to be a gen- tleman, explained that the Board could not dis- miss the question in so summary a way. " lie could foresee that there might be a nice point* of law in the case. They would have to take some legal means of ascertaining their liabili- ties, and of forcing the other parish to take the ^ • A BOARD OF GUARDIANS. 11? ?" "lie point* take abili- e the child if thoy oiiglit to do so. Thoy must consult their solicitor." This gentleman was sent for post haste. Meanwhile the baby was ordered to be brought in for inspection. The matron had handed him over to a sort of half-witted inmate of the house, whoso wits, however, wore strangely about him at the wrong time, to nurse and amuse him. This person brought Ginx's Baby into the Board-room, and placed him on the table. The Board of Guardians took a good look at him. He was not then in fair condition. He was limp, he was dirty, hollow in the cheeks, white, stilt' in his limbs, and half-naked — (to be regardless of gender) — " Pallidula, rigida, nudula." '^Hum!" said Mr. Stink, who was a dog- breeder — "What's his pedigree?" This brutal joke was well received by some of the Guardians. " His pedigree," answered the half-wit, grave- ly, " goes back for three hundred years. Pari- ents unknown by name, but got by Misery out o' Starvashun. The line began with Poverty out o' Laziness in Qu«en Elizabeth's time. The breed has been a large'un wotever you think of the quality," 112 OINX R BABT. This pleasantry was less acceptable to the Board. '' Well," said Mr. Scoop, grocer, a great stick- ler for i)arliamentary modes of procedure, '* I move it be committed." *' Committed ! Whore?" said Mr. Stink. "To Newgate I s'pose," said the half-wit, his eyes twinkling. ''Nonsense, sir, — for consideration. Send that man out," exclaimed Scoop — '' clear the room for consultation." Davus was expelled, and the baby was then formally consigned to the care of a committee. By this time the legal adviser came in. The facts having been stated to him, he said : " Gentlemen, as at present advised I am of opinion that the parish in which the child was found is bound to maintain him. If Mr. Doll (a liighly respectable person, my own cheese-mon- ger) found the child beyond the boundaries of St. Simon Magus — and he will of course swear that he did — you cannot refuse to take it in. However, I had better ascertain the facts from Mr. Doll and take the opinion of counsel. Mean- while we must beware not to compromise our- selves by admitting anything, or doing any- thing equivalent to an admission. Let me see — Ah 1— yes — a notice to be served on the other A BOAAD of OtJARDIANS. l!3 parish repudiating the infant; another notice to Mr. Doll to tnke it away, and that it remains here at hi.s risk and expense — you see, gentle- men, we could hardly venture to return it to Mr. Doll ; wo should create an unhMj)py impres- sion in the minds of the public — " '' D— n the public I" said Mr. Stink. ''Quite so, my dear sir," said Mr. Philpotts, smiling, ''quite so, but that is not a legal or in fact practicable mode of discarding them; we must act with public opinion, I fear. Then, to resume, thirdly and to be strictly safe, we must serve a notice on the infant and all whom it may concern. I think I'll draft it at once." • In a few minutes the committee in char<'-e pinned to the only garment of Ginx's Baby a paper in the following form : — }^ * 4 114 OINX'S BABT. To Parish of St. Bartimeus. (name unknown), a Foundling ^ and all other persons interested in the said Foundling. TAKE NOTICE That yoUy or either of you, have no just or law- ful claim to have you or the said infant charge- able on the said Parish. And this is to notify that you, the said infant, are retained in the workhouse of the said 2^cirish under protest, and that whatsoever is or 7nay he done or provided for you is at the proper charge of you and all such persons as are and were by law bound to maintain and keejj the same. Winkle & Phillpotts, Solicitors for the Board. III.— The World is my Parish. When Mr. Phillpotts called upon Doll, the cheesemonger, the latter straightway gave him the facts as they had occurred. He pointed out the exact spot on which the bundle had lain ; he gave an estimate of the number of inches on ill, the ve him ted out ain ; he chos on THE WORLD IS MY PARISH. 115 each side of the line occupied by it, and declared that the head and shoulders of the infant lay in the parish of the solicitor's client.^. Ginx's Baby, under the title " Re a Foundling" was once more submitted for the opinion of counsel* They advised the Board that as the child was in both parishes when found, but had been taken up by a ratepayer of St. Simon Mugus, the latter parish was bound to support him. Whereupon the Guardians of St. Bartimeus at their next meeting resolved that the Vestry of the other parish should have a written notice to remove the child, failing which application should be made to the Queen's Bench for a mandamus to compel them to do it. On receiving the challenge the Guardians of St. Simon Magus also took counsel's opinion. They were advised that as the greater part, and especially the head of the infant, was when dis- covered in the parish of St. Bartimeus, the lat- ter was clearly chargeable. Both parties then proceeded to swear affidavits. The Attorney- General and Solicitor-General, the two great law-ofl&cers of the crown, were retained on oppo- site sides, and took fees — not for an Imjjerial prosecution, but as a petty Queen's Counsel in an interparochial squabble. 116 GINX'S BABT. IV.---Without prejudice to any one but the Guardians. The Court of Queen's Bench, after hearing an elaborate statement from the Attorney- General, granted a rule nisi for a mandamus. This rule was entered for argument in a paper called " The Special Paper," and, the list being a heavy one, nearly a year elapsed before it was reached. It was then again postponed several times '^ for the convenience of counsel." The Board of St. Bartimeus chafed under the law's delay. They became morbidly; sen- sitive to the incubus of Ginx's Baby, especially as the press had been reviewing some of their recent acts with great bitterness. The Guard- ians were defiant. Having served their notices, they were induced by Mr. Stink to resolve not to maintain the infant. The poor child was threatened with dissolution. Thus, no doubt, many difficulties in parochial administration are solved — the subject vanished away. The baby was kept provisionally in a room at the workhouse. On the outside of the door was a notice in fair round- hand : — ' WITHOUT PREJUDICE. 117 dians. earing orney- iamus. in a id, the )lapsed again 5nience under I3; sen- >ecially f their Guard- notices, Ive not ild was doubt, itratiou '. The at the L" was a NOTICE. DOLL S FOUNDLING. Fending the legal enquiry into the facts con- cerning the above infant^ and a decision as to its settlement J all officials, assistants, and the servants of the workhouse are forbidden to enter the room in tvhich it is deposited, or to render it any service or assistance, on pain of dismissal. No food is to be supplied to it from the workhouse kitchen. N.B. This is not intended to prevent persons other than officials, dhc, from having access to the infant, or assisting it. By Order of the Board. That any body of human beings, other than Patagonians, could have coolly contemplated such a result as must have followed upon the strict performance of this order, would be in- credible except in the instance of the Guardians of St. Bartiraeus. There were nothing they could not do — or leave undone. Fortunately for Ginx's Baby, the order was disobeyed. Oc" *l 118 GINX S BABY. casionally lady visitors went to look at him and give him some food — he was toddling about the room on unsteady logs — but charity seemed to be appalled by the official questions hanging about this child. The master, Snigger, whose .business it was every day to ascertain whether the cause of the great parochial quarrel was in, or out of, existence, became a traitor to the Board. When the child grew hungry and dangerously thin, he brought bottles of pap prepared by Mrs. Snigger, and administered it to him. No conclusions to the disfavour of the Board were to be drawn from this conduct, for Snigger was particular to say to the boy in a loud voice, each time he had fed him : ''Now, youngster, this is without prejudice, remember ! I give you due notice — without prejudice." Who, in Master Ginx's situation, would have had any prejudices to such action, or have ex- pressed them even if they were entertained ? He t'ook nonobjection as he took the pap ; while Snigger was glad to be able to do an unusual kindness without compromising the parish. Thus things had gone on for many months, when one day an eye of that Argus monster, j I and t tho ed to iging ^4iose ether as in, the T and f pap red it ^f the ct, for y in a adice, ithout have ^e ex- lined ? I while I usual h. WITHOUT PREJUDICE. 119 mths, ister, the Public, was set upon Ginx's Baby. A well- known nobleman, calling at the workhouse to see a little girl whom he had saved from in- famy, as he had passed down a corridor was ar- rested by the notice on the door of our hero's room. Curiosity took him in, and horror chain- ed him there for some time. Had he not enter, ed, Ginx's Baby, spile of Snigger, would in twenty-four hours have ceased to supply facts to history. He was suffering from low fever, and his condition was as sensationall}' shocking as any reporter could have wished. Out rushed the peer for a doctor, took a cab to a magistrate and detailed the whole case, to be repeated in next morning's papers. Penny-a-liners ran to the spot, wrote vivid descriptions of the baby and the room, and transcribed tho notice. The Guardians were drubbed in trenchant leaders and indignant letters. They, instead of bend- ing to the storm, strove to confront it, and pass- ed angry resolutions of a childish and grotesque character. The few of them who possessed anj' sense of propriety were railed at in the meeting till they ceased to attend. The uproar outside increased. Why did not the President of the Poor-La w Board interfere ? At last he did in- terfere: that is, instead of visiting the scene himself, and satisfying his own eyes as to the 120 GINX S BABt. truth of what his ears had heard, a process that would have taken a couple of hours, he appoint- ed a gentleman to hold an enquiry. The Guard- ians hecame furious. The reports of their pro- ceedings read like the vagaries of a lunatic asylum or the deliberations of the American Senate. They discharged Snigger for breach of orders, substituting a relative of Mr. Stink. They put a lock on the door, and passed food to the Baby by a stick. A committee was appoint- ed to see him fed, and they forwarded a me- morial to the Poor-Law Board, stating that " he daily had more food than he could possibly eat, and was in admirable condition." They refused to allow any doctor but one employed by them- selves to see him. They procured from him a certificfito that the noble busybod}^ and his physician had made a mistake, and that all the functions of life in the infant appeared to be in perfect order. Then came the gentleman, and the enquiry, and his report, and a letter from! the Poor-Law Board, and further discussions and more letters, until the bewildered public] gnashed its teeth at the Minister, the Guard- ians, and the law, and wished them all at Land'.s| End or beyond it. .1 : AN UNGODLY JUNGLE. 121 ocess that 3 appoi lit- he Guard- their pro- a lunatic American • breach of ilr. Stink. ;ed food to IS appoint- ded a me- T that " he Dssibly eat, ley refused d by them- rom him a y and his that all the 'od to be in t,leman, and letter from discussions 3 red public the Guard- ill at Land's V."-An Ungodly Jungle. ». The case of the Guardians of St. Bartimeus against the Guardians of St. Simon Magus was at length reached. The argument lasted for two days. There is a grim work, the short title whereof is '^ Burns's Justice," in five fat volumes, from which the legal Dryasdust turn aghast. In one of these portentous books, title ''Poor," pp. 1200, the inquisitive may find a code unrivalled by the most malignant in- genuity of former or contemporary nations; a code wherein, by gradual accretion, has been framed a system of relief to poverty and distress so impolitic, so unprincipled, that none but the driest, mustiest, most petrified parish official could be expected to lift up his voice to defend it; so complicated that no man under heaven knows its length or breadth or height or depth ; yet it stands to this hour a monument of Eng- lish stolidity — a marvel of lazy or ignorant statesmanship. Imagine, if you please, a Lord Chief Justice and three Puisnes, all keen, practical men, alive to public policy and the common weal, eager to extricate the truth and do the right, plunging into this " ungodly jungle," thwarted at every turn, in search of justice for Ginx's Baby. With all his patient 122 GINX S BABY. industry and lightning quickness of apprehen- sion, the Chief Justice found it hard to reconcile past and present, or evolve from the vast con- fusion anything consistent with his moral in- stincts. i II — Clear the board, gentlemen. True regene- rative legislation will begin by drawing away the rubbish. Reform means more than re- pair. Mend, patch, take down a little here, prop up some tottering nuisance there, fill in gaping chinks with patent legislative cement, coat old facades with bright paint, hide decay beneath a gloze of novelty, titi- vate, decorate, furbish — and after all your house is not a new one, but a whited sepulchre shaking to decay. Eepair? There is a Repair party, intermediating between Tories and Reformers — Radicals or Rooters let us call these latter if you like — who cling to '' vested interests " and all other sorts of antique nuis- ancee, yet say they are willing to improve them. Reform, which means. Pull down with bold statesman's hand, and with like hand Rebuild, is no darling of ^our political Repairer. Call the party and* the men by their right names ; and give me for utility in legislation or administrative action an Old prohon- jconcilo ist con- oral in- AN UNGODLY JUNGLE. 123 rogene- g away han re- le here, ere, fill [^islative t paint, Ity, titi- m your whited There a Tories us call vested ue nuis- improve vvn with CO hand political imen by utility an Old n I Tory and Obstructive party rather than this middling, meddling, muddling Repairer — "Eager to change yet fearful to destroy." Just now all Social Reformation, in its noblest aims and attempts, is fettered by the Repair party. What is termed Sanitary Reform is en- feebled, and the vigour withdrawn from it, by this party. " Tested rights," '' the Liberty of the people," ^' Interference with personal free- dom," ^' Expense," — these are the watchwords of the Repairer in opposition to him who, point- ing to the pallor and fever of a hundred neigh- bourhoods, calls upon a ministry to cleanse them with imperial force. A comprehensive scheme of I^ational Educa- tion is seized and half-throttled by the Repair party. '' Oh ! utilise what there is ; improve on and tack to the denominational system ; avail yourself of the jealousy of sects ; see what a'grand building that has already erected ! Ti-ue, it is not large enough : true, it is badly built ; but repair that, and add wrings. It will cost you ever so much to rebuild — Repair!" The methods of relief to the Poor are old, cumbrous, unequal, as stupid as those who ad- 124 GiNx's BABY. minister them. Forth steps the Keformcr, and cries out — '' Clear this wreck away! Get rid * of your antiquated Bumbledom, your parochial and non-parochial distinctions, your complicated map of local authorities ; re-distribute the king- dom on some more practical system, redress the injustice of unequal rating, improve the ma- chinery and spirit of relief, and so on." You have the Eepair party shouting its Non possumus as loudly as any other arch-obstructive : " Heaven forbid ! Queen Elizabeth and the Poor Laws for ever ! To the rescue of Local Government and Vested Interests ! Repair !" ' Some one with a long head and a divinely- warmed heart, searching vainly for help to thousands in the packed alleys of his English Home, sends his quick glance across seas to rich lands that daily cry to heaven for strong arras that wield the plough and spade- '' Ho !" he shouts, *' Labour to Land — starva- tion to production — death unto life !" and he calls upon ever}'- statesman and patriot to help the good work, and give their energies to frame an Emigration Scheme. Then the Repair party foams : " Send away the Labour, the source of our wealth ? No. Mend the condition of the labourer; give him the sop of i. AN UNGODLY JUNGLE. 125 ', and )t rid 3chial icated king- ss the ma- You ssumus Lctivo : d the Local • I" ,11* ! 7inely- 3lp to ilnglish jeaa to n for spade- starva- md he not to nergies en the jabour, nd the sop of I political rights — free breakfasts — the ballot. Give State funds to alter social conditions? No. Improve the methods of local assistance to Emigration; it is a temporary remedy — Repair I" Thus, according to the gospel of this party, everything must be subject of restoration only. Like antiquarians, they utter groans over the abolition of anything, however ugly it may be, however unfitted for human uses, and with how- ever so elegant a piece of artistry you desire to displace it. For them a Gilbert-Scott politician, reverential restorer of bygone styles, enthusias- tic to converse and amend the grotesque Gothic policies of the past, rather than some Brunei or Stephenson statesman, engineering in novel mastry of circumstances — not fearful to face and conquer even the antique impediments of Nature. Give me a trenchant statesman, or I pray you leave legislation alone. Better things as they are than patched to distrac- tion. • • At length, by means of some delicate legal adjustments, the judges saw their way to affirming that Ginx's Baby's parish was that of St. Bartimeus, and refused the rule for a mandamus. *** 126 GINX'S BABY. VI. — Parochial Benevolence — and another translation. The authorities of St. Bartimeus did not take kindly to the charge irapofled upon them by the Queen's Bench. Some of the Guardians priva- tely hinted to the master that it was unnecessary to overfeed the infant. They did not burthen him with much clothing, and what he had was shared with many lively companions. When you, good matron, look at your little pink- cheeked daughter, so clean and so cosy in her little cot, waking to see the well-faced nurse, or you, still swcoter to her eyes, watching above her dream-, perhaps you ought to stop a mo- ment to contrast the scene with the sad tableaux you may got sight of not far away. * -^ * Ginx's Baby was not an ill-favoured child. lie had in- herited his father's frame and strength ; these helped him through the changes we are relat- ing. What if these capacities had, by simple nourishing food, cleanly care-taking, and bright- er, kindlier associations, been trained into full working order ? Left alone or ill-tended they were daily dwindling, and the dc2:)reciation was going on not solely at the expense of little Ginx, but of the whole community. To reduce his strength one-half was to reduce one-half his chances of independence, and to multiply the PAROCHIAL BENEVOLENCE. 127 prospects of his continuous application for State AID. The money spent in stopping a hole in a Dutch dyke is doubtless better invested than if it wore to be retained until a vast breach had laid half a kingdom under water. Surely your Hollander would agree to be mulcted in one-third of his fortune rather than run the hazard ! Every day through this wealthy country there are men and women busy marring the little images of God, that are by-and-by to be part of its public— shadowing young spirits, repressing their energy, sapping their vigour or failing to make it up, corrupting their nature by foul associations, moral and physical. Some are doing it by speciai license of the devil, others by Act ot Parlia- ment, others by negligence or niggardliness. Could you teach or force these people — many unconsciously engaged in the vile work — to run together, as men alarmed by sudden danger, and throw around a helpless generation influ- ences and a care more akin to your own home ideal, would you not transfigure the next epoch — would not your labour and sacrifice be a God- work, reaching out weighty, fruit-laden bran- ches far into the grateful future ? 'Tis by feel- HHP 128 GINX S BABY. ing and enjoying everywhere the need of such a movement as this that you, O all-powerful woman ! can carry your will into the play of a great economic and social reform. Society that recognises not a root-truth like that is sowing the wind— God knows what it will reap. So the Guardians, keeping carefully within the law, neglected nothing that could sap little Ginx's vitality, deaden his instincts, derange moral action, cause hope to die within his infant breast almost as soon as it were born. Good God! The items the Board were really entitled to charge the rate -payers as b applied to our hero were — Dirt, Fleas, Foul air. Chances of catching skin diseases, fevers, &.C., Yile company, ^ Neglect, Occasional cruelty, and A small cupply of bad food and cloth- Every pauper was to them an obnoxious charge by any and every means to be reduced „ '« PAROCHIAL BENEVOLENCE. 129 to a minimum ^j nil. Ginx's Baby was reduced to a minimum. His constitution enabled him to protest against reduction to nil. But, just after the bills of costs had been taxed, mulcting the rate-payers of St. Bartimeus in a sum of more than £1,600, tne Guardians were made aware of the name and origin of their charge. One of the persons who had deserted him was arrested for theft, and among other articles in her pos- session were some of the Baby's clothes. She confessed the whole story, and declared that the child left in JSTether Place was no other than the Protestant Baby, son of Ginx, about whom so much stir had been made two years before. The Guardians were not long in tracing Ginx, and, at his quarters in Rosemary Street, the hapless changeling was one day delivered by a deputy relieving-officel*, with the benediction, by me sadly recorded — " There he is, d — n him !" I am sure if the Guardians had been there they would have said : "Amen." PART IV, WHAT THE CLUBS AND POLITICIANS DID WITH HIM. I. — Moved on. r^ mX'S BABY'S brothers and sisters would yOr have nothing to say to him. Mrs. Ginx declared that she could see in him no likeness to her own dear lost one ; and her husband swore that the brat never was his. The couple had latterly been pinching themselves and their children to save enough to emigrate. For this purpose aid and counsel were given to them by a neighbouring curate, whose name, were my pages destined to immortality, should be print- ed here in golden letters. Rich and full will be his sheeves when many a statesman reaps tares. Finding that a thirteenth child was im- posed on them by so superior a force as the law of England the Ginxes hastened their departure, Moved on. 131 Their last night in London, towards the small hours, Ginx, carrying our hero, went along Brid- cage Walk. He scarcely knew where he was going, or how he was about to dispose of his bur- den, but he meant to get rid of it. On ho went, here and there met bj' shadowy creatures who came towards his footsteps in the uncertain darkness, and when they could see that he was no quarry for them flitted away again into the night. He passed the dingy houses, since replaced by the Foreign Office, across the open space be- fore the Horse Guards, near the house of a popu- lar Prime Minister, and up the broad steps till he stood under the York Column. The shadow of this was an inviting place, but a policeman turning his lantern suspiciously on the man walking about at that silent hour with a child in his arms frustrated his wish. Slowly Ginx tramped along Pall Mall, with only one other creature stirring, as it seemed for the moment — a gentleman who turned up the steps of a large building. Seating the child on the bottom step and telling him not to cry, Ginx instantly crossed the road, turned into St. James's Square, passed hy the rails, and stealing from corner to corner through the masses of that locality, 132 GINX S BABY. '5 1 reached home by way of Piccadilly and Grosve- nor Place. Henceforth this history shall know him no more. * ^ * II. — Club Ideas. Scarcely had the shadow of his parent vanished in the gloom before Ginx's Baby piped forth a lusty protest : the street rang again. Ere long the doors at the top of the steps swung back, and a portly form stood in the light. ■ "Halloo ! what's the matter ?" (This was a gen- * eral observation into space.) " Why, bless my heart, here's a child crying on the steps !" Another form appeared. " Is there nobody with it ? Halloo ! any one there?" No answer came save from poor little Ginx, but his was decided. The two servants de- scended the steps and looked at the miserable boy without touching him. Then they peered into the darknobs in ho^o that they might get a glimpse of his mother or a policeman. A rapid btep sounded on the pavement and a gentleman came up to the group. ^. , " What have we here ?" he said gently. CLtB IDEAS. 133 " It's a child, Sir Charles, I found crying on the steps. I expect it's a trick to get rid of him. We are looking for a policeman to take him away." " Poor little fellow," said Sir Charles, stooping to take a fair look at Ginx's Baby, " for you and such as you the policeman or the parish offi- cers are the national guardians, and the prison or the poor-house the home Bring him into the Club. Smirke." The men hesitated a moment before execut- ing so unwonted a demand, but Sir Charles Sterling was a man not safely to be thwarted — a late minister and a member of the committee. The child being carried into the magnificent hall of the Club, stood on its mosaic floor. From above the radiance of the gas '' sunlight ' streamed down over the marble pillars, and glanced on gilded cornices and panels of scag- liola. A statue of the Queen looked upon him from the niche that opened to the dining-room ; another of the great Puritan soldier, statesman, and ruler, with his stern massive front ; and yet another, with the strong yet gentle features of the champion Free-Trader, seemed to -regard him from their several corners. On ihe walls around were potraits of men who had striven for the deliverance of the people from ancient yokes » H 134 GtNX's BABY. m and fetters. Of course Ginx's Baby did not see all this. He, poor boy, dazed, stood with a knuckle in his eye, while the porter, lacqueys. Sir Charles Sterling, and others who strolled out of the reading-room, curiously regarded him. But any one observing the scene apart might have contrasted the place with the child — the principles and the professions whereof this grandeur was the monument and consecrated tabernacle, with this solitary atomic specimen of the material whereon they were to work. What social utility had resulted from the great movements initiated by them who erected and frequented this place ? Ought they to have had, and did they still need a complement? While wonderful political changes had been wrought, and benefits not to be exaggerated won for many classes, What had been done for Ginx's Baby ? The query would not have been very ridicu- lous. He was an unit of the British Empire — nothing could blot out that fact before heaven ! Had anything been left undone that ought to have been done, or done that had well been left undone, or were better to be undone now ? Of a truth that was worth a thought. " What's all this ? said a big Member of Parlia- ment, a minister renowned for economy in mat- CLUB IDEAS. 135 Jft a ters financial and intellectual. ''What are you doing with this youngster ? I never saw such an irregularity in a Club in my life." " If you saw it oftener you would think more about it," said Sir Charles Sterling. " We found him on the steps. I think he was asking for you, Glibton." This sally turned a laugh against the min- ister. " Well," said another, " he has come to the wrong quarters if he wants money." '' 1 shouldn't wonder," said a third, '' if he were one of the new messengers at the Office of Popular Edifices. Glibton is reducing their staff." '' If that's the case I think you have reached the minimum here, Glibton," cried Sir Charles. " Can't the country afford a livery?" "Bother you all," replied the Secretary, who was secretly pleased to be quizzed for his pecu- liarities — " tell us what this means. Whose Mark' is it?" " • "No lark at all," said Sterling. "Here is a problem for you and all of us to solve. This forlorn object is representative, and stands here to-night preaching us a serious sermon. He was deserted on the Clul>-ete^-^left there, •V ^ 136 QINX S BABT. !!r perhaps, as a piece of clever irony; *.? might bo son to some of us. Whai's vour name, my boy ?" Ginx's Baby managed to say '• Dunno!" '' Ask him if he has any name ?" ouid an Irish ex-member, with a grave face. Ginx's Baby to this question responded dis- tinctly " No." "No name," said the humourist ; " then the author of his being must be Wilkie Collins." Everybody laughed at this indifferent plea, santrj^ but our hero. His bosom began to heave ominoucsly. "What's to be done?" " Send him to the workhouse." " Send him to the d " (there may be bru- tality among the gods and goddesses). " Give him to the porter." "No thank you sir," said he, promptly. The gentlemen were turning away, when Sir Charles stopped them. " Look here !" he said, taking the boy's arm and baring it, " this boy can hardly be called a human being. See what a thin arm he has — how flaccid and colourless the flesh seems — what an old face ! — and I can scarcely feel any pulse. Good heavens, get him some wine I A few hours CLUB IDEAS. 13? ■^:' will send him to the d sure enough What are we to do for him, Glibton ? I say again, he is only part of a great problem. There must bo hundreds of thousands growing up like this child; and what a generation to contemphite in all his relations and effects!" The gentlemen were dashed by his earnest- ness. " Oh, you're exaggerating," said Glibton ; *' there can't be such vvidcs])read misery. Why, if there were, the people would be wrecking our houses." "Ah!" replied the other, sadly, '' will you wait to be convinced by that sort of thing before you believe in their misery? I assure you what I say is true. I could bring you a hundred clergymen to testify to it to-morrow morning." « God forbid !" said Glibton. " Gfood-night." The right honourable gentleman extinguished the subject in his own little brain with his big hat; hut everywhere else the sparks are still aglow, and he, with all like him, may wake up suddenly, as frightened women in the night, to find themselves environed in the red glare of a popular conflagration. Well for them then if they are not in charge of the State machinery. 138 GINX*S BABY. What an hour will that bo for hurrying to and fro with water-pipes and buckets, when proper forethought, dilligence, and sacrifice would have made the building fireproof. III. — A tborough-pacod Reformer — if not a Revolutionary. By the kindness and influence of Sir Charles Sterling, Ginx's Baby that night, and long after, found shelter in the Radical Club. He gave rise to a discussion in the smoking-room next even- ing that ought to be chronicled. Several mem- bers of the committee supported his benefactor in urging that the child should be adopted by the Club, as a pledge of their resolve to make the questions of which he seemed to be the em- bodied emblem subjects of legislative action. Others said that those questions being, in their view, social and not political, were no proper ones to give impulse to a party movement, and that the entertainment in the Club of this found- ling would be a gross irregularity ; they did not want samples of the material respecting which they were theorising. To some of the latter Sir Charles had been insisting that, whether they kept the child or not, they could not stifle the questions excited by his condition. \h- A THOROUGH-rArED REFORMER. 139 iir '' You may delay, but you cannot dissipate them. We are filling up our sessions with party struggles, iheoretic discussions, squabbles about foreign politics, debates on political machinery, while year by year the condition of the people is becoming more invidious and full of peril. Social and political reform ought to be linked ; the people on whom you confer new political rights cannot enjoy them without health and well-being." " But all our legislation is directed to that 1" exclaimed Mr. Joshua Hale. ''Eeform, Free Trade, Free Corn — have these not enhanced the wealth of the people ?" '' Partially ; yet there are classes unregene- rated by their reviving influences. Free trade cannot ensure work, nor can free corn provide food for every citizen." ^'Nor any other legislation : let us be practi- cal. I own there is much to be done. I have often stated my ' platform.' VYe must clip the enormous expenditure on soldiers and ships ; reduce our overweening army of diplomatic spies and busybodies ; abstain from meddling in everybody's quarrels ; redeem from taxation the workman's necessaries — a free breakfast- table J peremptorily legislate against the custom 140 GINX S BABY. I ml of primogeniture ; encourage the distribution and transfer of land ; and, under the a^gis of the ballot, protect from the tyranny of the landlord and employer their tenants and work- men. >» "Yery good, perhaps, all of them," replied ^ Sir Charles, " but some not at the moment pos- sible, and altogether are not exhaustive. Why do you not go to the bottom of social needs? You say nothing about Health legislation — are you indifferent to the sanitary condition of the people ? You have not hinted at Educatioui — Waste Lands — Emigration — " '' Oh ! I am opposed to that altogether." *' I forgot, you are a manufacturer; yet the last man of whom I should believe that selfish- ness had wraped the judgment. You have done and endured more than any living statesman for the advantage of your fellow-citizens, so that I will not cast at you the aspersion of class-blind- ness. Still, I can scarcely think you have looked at this matter in the pure light of patriotism, and not within the narrow scope of trade inter- ests." *' Quite unjust. Our best economists repre- hend the policy of depleting our labour-market. Emigration is a,^ timely remedy Tor adversity ^. A THOROIKill-PACED REFORMER. 141 ilion is of f tho .vork- 3 plied t po8- Why leeds? 1 — are of the tion> — ret the selfish- e done nan for that I H-blind- looked iotism, e inter- repre- market. iversity tind to uo very sparingly used. Labour in our richest vein — " '' We may have too m'lch of it. Take it as a fact that you now have more than you can use, and the unemployed part is starving ; what will you do with them ?" '^ That is a mere temporary and casual depres- sion, to which all classes are liable." " But," said Sir Charles, *' which none can so ill bear. Nay — ^vhat if it is permanent ? You look toincreaso to save every man from penury. You wish us to send away our bone and sinew because we have no present emplo3^ment for it, and next year, or the year iv^'ter, under a recovered trade you will be wring- ing your hands and cursing the folly that prompted you to do it." " I should be too glad of the opportunity," replied Sir Charles, sturdily, " but in truth, there is an incubus of excessive numbers that no revival of trade will provide for, even if it is beyond our extremest hopes, and I for one will I A THOROUGH-PACED REFORMER. 143 deprcs- moro lall we, ist, face office, a it iiitel- say you ?ee that 1. The ifallibly scure no •e gill ate •-wheels ■ )vy man vf?y our present he year ! w^ring- y that unity, 1 truth, ers that 1 if it is 3no will not be guilty of the humanity of keeping fellow- creatures in misery till we can find a use for them. You have forgotten that there are other economic laws besides those you glance at. Several millions of acres of unoccupied land be- longing in a sense to people of this country are to be kept untilled in defiance of the plainest policy that nature and God have indicated to us, namely, that labour should come in contact with land ! For want of this conjunction our colonies are to be checked, while at home miserable millions are gaping for work and food." "Oh! let them take themselves out. There are too many going already. They will follow natural laws, and where labour is required thither the stream will flow." " Mere surface talk, my clever friend," replied the other, " the men who ai-e trooj^ing out at their ow^n expense are our most sober, careful, and energetic workmen. Else [they could not go. They go because here so many indifferent ones are weighing down their shoulders. And where do most of them go to ? Xot to strengthen and develop our colonies, but the United States — a not always friendly peo2)le, and just now your free-trader's bugbear !" "Well, well," said the minister, "drop that " ■!< 144 GINX^S BABir. ii f I 'Mr i^; question. It's utterly impracticable at this time. We couldn't entertain the demand for State-help for an instant. I tell you again you're Fourierite. You virtually propose to put your hand in the pocket of the upper classes to pay all sorts of expenses for the lower." - " You may call me a communist if you please," replied Sir Charles Sterling; "1 do ^ not shrink from shadows. Perhaps I am in favour of somethinc^ nearer to communism than our present form of society. One thing I am clear about: no slate of society is healthy wherein every man does not own himself to be the guardian of the interests of the community as well as his own — does not see that he is bound, morally and as a matter of public policy, to add to his neighbour's well-being as well as his own. Does not society, by its protection and aggregation, make it possible for the rich to grow rich, the genius and the ambitious man to pursue their aims, the merchant to gather his vails, the noble to enjoy his lands? For these privileges there is more or less to pay, and it may be that the proper porportion which the capable classes should be called upon to contri- bute to the common weal has never been cor- A THOROUGH PACED REFORMER. 145 it this ,nd for again 30SC to upper for the if you " 1 do am in sm than MX I am healthy 3lf to bo nniunity it he is c policy, well as otection the rich ous man o gather Is? For pay, and hich the .o contri- l>ocn cor- rectly adjusted. The first fruit of practical Christianity was community of goods, and but for liuman selfihhness we might hope for an E Utopian era — when, while it should be ruled that if a man wauld not work neither should he eat, there should also be brought bome to every man the care of his poorer, or weaker, or less competent brother. I never expect to see that. I do hope to see the men of greatest ability pay more generously for the privileges they enjoy The best policy for them too. The better the condition of the general community the better for themselves. You cannot alarm me with epithets. But these views are happily not es- sential to the support of the Emigration policy." *' O dear ! dear ! mad as a March hare ! cried the minister, as he stumped from the room. " Sterling is a good fellow," said ho to a colleague with whom he walked down Pall Mall, '' and a thorough-paced Liberal. Besides, he carries great weight in the House. But he is an enthusiast, and, therefore, not always (piite practical." By practical the minister meant, not that ■■■ 15;: 146 GINX S BABY. which might well and to advantage be done if good and able men would resolve to do it, spite of all hindrances, but that which, npon a cun- ning review of party balances and a judicious probing of public opinion, seemed to be a policy fit for his party to pursue. The fii'st, original and masterly statesmen are needed to initiate and perform — the other is simply the art of a genius who knows how most adroitly to mani- pulate people and circumstances. IV. — Very Broad Views. Sir Charles Sterling, Mr. Joshua Hale, and others continued the conversation inter- rupted by the minister's exit. What was to be done with Ginx's Baby ? In the great dissected map of society what niches were cut out for him and all like him to fill ? Most of the politicians were for leaving that to him self to find out. The term '• law of supply and demand" was freelv bandied between them, as it is in many journals nowadays, with little object save to shut up avenues of discussion by a high-sounding phrase. Then of these " statesmen," most clung, if VERT BROAD VIEWS. ^147 done if t, spite a cun- idicious L policy original initiate xrt of a ;o mani- a Ilalc, )ri intcr- was to 10 great were cut Most of to him pply and them, as ith little iission by clung, if not to self-interest, to personal crotchets. What is more darling to a man than the child of his intellect or fancy ? How the poor poetaster hugs his tawdry verses as if they were the im- perial ornaments of genius ! Just in the same way does the politician love the policies himself hath devised, pressing them forward at all liaz- ards, while he is blind to the utility of others. This is the basis of that aspect of selfishness which often mars in the approbation of a coun- tr}^ a really honest statesmanship — an egatistic tenacity of one's own creature as the best, which yet is not the criminal selfishness of ambition. Still that egotism is not seldom dis- astrous to the people's interestsj While these statesmen nursed their own bantling and held them up to national notice, they were apt to avoid or too lightly regard the views of men as able as themselves. For instance, Joshua Halo — who is far above these remarks ":enerallv — had put forth a scheme for the solution of the St. Helena property question— very likely a good one, albeit revolutionary, and nothing would convince him that any other could succeed. He wished every man in St. Helena — a turbulent adjunct of the British Empire — to be a landowner, and T do think, neither desired nor hoped that a!iy man in that island should be : ■I .. *» 148 GINX'S BABY. happy until he was one. Yet there were other men ready to offer simpler remedies, and to prove that if every man in St. Helena became a landowner it would become a very hell upon earth, and more unmanageable than it was be- fore. If these gentlemen do not sacrifice their pet fancies for the sake of a settlement, what shall become of St. Helena ? Just now they are discussing Ginx's Baby. One thouglit that repeal of the Poor-Laws and a new system of relief would reach his case ; another saw the root of the Baby's sorrow in Trades' Unions ; a third propounded co- operative manufactures : a fourth suggested that a vast source of income lay untouched in the seas about the kingdom, which swarmed with porpoises, and showed how certain parts of these animals were available for food, others for leather, others for a delicious oil that would be sweeter and more pleasant than butter; a fifth desired a law to repress the tendency of Scotch peers to evict tenants and convert arable lands ijito sheep-walks and deer-forests ; a sixth main- tained that there were waste lands in the king- dom of capacity to support hungry millions. In fact earth, heaven, and seas were to be regene- rated by Act of Parliament for the benefit of VERY BROAD VlfiWB. 149 other Lnd to amo a upon as bo- 3 their , what , Baby. vvs and a cuse ; sorrow led co- ggested chcd in warmed parts of hers for ould be a fifth Scotch )lo lands th main- he king- lions. In regene- icnefit of Ginx's Baby and the people of England. Sir Cliarles listened impatiently, and at last burst forth again. He said: ^' When you consider it, wliat wo are trying to do nowadays is — vulgarl}' — to im- prove the breed : but we go to work in a round- about way. At the outset we are met by the depreciated state of part of the existing genera- tion ; and one problem is to prevent these de- preciated people from increasing, or to get them to increase healthily. I*^o one seems to liave gone directly to such a problem as that. The difficulties to be faced arc tremendous. Your dirtiest British youngster is hedged round with principles of an inviolable liberty and rights of Habeas Corpus. You let his father and mother, or any one who will save you the trouble of looking after him, mould him in his years of tenderness as they please. If they happen to leave him a walking invalid, you take him into the poorhouse ; if they bring him up a thief, you whip him and keep him at high cost at Millbank or Dartmoor; if his passions, never controlled, break out into murder and rajDc, you may hang him, unless his crime has been so at- rocious as to attract the benevolent interest of the Home Secretary; if he commit suicide, you ! 1 i -i i| 1 nil 1 1 ' ft ;: 1 :, : ^: ij u 150 GINx's BABY. hold a coroner's inquest, which also costs money ; and however he dies you give him a deal coffin and bury him. Yet I may prove to you that this being, whom you treat like a dog at a fair, never had a day's — no, nor an hour's — contact with goodness, purity, truth, or even human kindness ; never had an op- portunity of learning anything better. What right have you then to hunt him like a wild beast, and kick him and whip him, and fetter him and hang him by expensive complicated machinery, when you have done nothing • to teach him any of the duties of a citizen ?" '' Stop, stop, Sir Charles ! you are too virulent- There are endless means of improving your lad — charities without number " ** Yes, that will never reach him." '' Never mind, they may, you know. In- dustrial schools, reformatories, asylums, hos- pitals, Peabody-buildings, poor-laws. Every- body is working to improve the condition of the poor man. Sanitary administration goes to his house and makes it habitable." ''Yery," interjected Sir Charles Sterling, drily. ^ VERY BROAD VIEWS. 151 costs ' him prove i like I or an th, or 1 op- What wild fetter icated ng • to I) I'ulent- )ur lad ;v. In- 5, hos- Every- ition of goes to terling, ''Factory laws protect and educate factory children " ''They don'? educate in one ca«o out of ten. They don't feed them, clothe them, give them amusement and cultivation, do they ?" "Certainly not — that would be ridiculous." "Why, the question is whether that weald be ridiculous!" replied Sir Charles. '^ do not say it can be done, but in order to trans- form the next generation, what we should aim at is to provide substitutes for bad homes, evil training, unhealthy air, food and dulness, and terrible ignorance, in happier scenes, better teaching, proper conditions of physical life, sane amusements, and a higher cultivation. I dare say you would think me a lunatic if 1 proposed that Government should establish music-halls and gymnasia all over the country; but you, Mr. Fissure, voted for the Baths and Wash- houses." "Who's to pay for all this?" asked Mr. Fissure, pertinently. "The State, which means society, the whole of which is directly interested. I tell you a 1 •v., 1i 152 niNX S BABY. million of children firo crying to lis to sot them free from tlie despotism of a crime tmd ignor- ance protected by law." " That is striking ; but you are treading on delicate ground. The liberty of the subject " " Exactly what I expected you to say. Those words can be used in defence of almost any injustice and tyranny. Such terms as * political economy,' ' communism,' ' socialism,' are ban- died about in the same way. Yet pro])Ositions coming fairly within these terms are often men- tioned with approval by the very persons who cast them at you. In a report of a recent Royal Commission I find that one of the Commission- ers is quite as revolutionary as I am. lie says it is right by law to secure that no child shall be cruelly treated or mentally neglected, over- worked or under-educated. Some people would call that communism, I fancy. But I think him to be correct as a political economist in that broad proposition. Why ? Because a child's relation to the State is wider, more permanent, and more important than his relation to his parents. If he is in danger of being depreci- ated and damned for good citizenship, the State must rescue him." *' A paternal and maternal government toge- ther !" cries Lord Namby— '' a government of VERY BROAD VIEWS. 153 them gnov- nir on Those t liny litical 3 ban- sitions a men- la who Royal lission- ^e says I shall over- would nk him u that child's [lanent, to his Icpreci- e State it toge- iient of nurses. You know I should like to stop the pro- duction of children among the lower orders. Your propositions are in advance of my radical- ism. The State must sometimes interfere be- tween parent and child ; for instance in educa- tion or 2)rotection from cruelty. But, if I under- stand you, you actually contemplate a general refining and elevation of the working class by legislative means." " Assuredly : I should aim to cultivate their morals, refine their tastes, manners, habits. I wish to lift from them that ever-depressing sense of hopelessness which keeps them in the dust." " So do most men ; but you must do that by personal and private influences, not by State enactments. How would you do it?" *^ How ? I think I could draw up a programme. For instance : Expatriate a million to reduce the competition that kee2:)s poor devils on half- rations or sends them to the poorhouse ; Take all the sick, maimed, old, and incapable poor into workhouses managed by humane men and not by ghouls; Forbid such men to marry and propagate weakness ; Legislate for compulsory improvements of workmen's dwellings, and, if needful, lend the money to execute it ? Extend and enforce the health laws ; Open free libra- 154 GINX'S BABY. ries and places of rational amusement with an imperial bounty through the country ; Instead of spending thousands on dilettanti sycophants at one end of the metropolis, distribute your art and amusement to the kingdom at large ; The rich have their museums, libraries, and clubs, provide them for the poor; Establish tem- porary homes for lying-in women; Multiply your baths and washhouses till there is no ex- cuse for a dirty person ; Educate ; Provide day schools for every proj^er child, and industrial or reformatory schools for every improper one ; Open advanced High Schools for the bust pupils, and found Scolarships to the Un versities ; Erect other schools for technical tri« ning; Oftw* to teach trades and agriculture to all comers for nothing — you would soon neutralise your bug- bear of trades-unionism ; Teach morals, teach science, teach art, teach them to amuse them- selves like men and not like brutes, the problem is not impracticable, though severe. As the end to be attained is the welfare of future genera- tions, no good reason could be urged why they should not contribute towards the cost of it — a better debt to leave to posterity than the incu- bus of an irrational war." Will any sane political practitioner wonder to be told that at the end of this harangue the ^ PARTY TACTICS. 155 ,h an stead hanta your argc ; , and I tem- Itiply 10 ox- day •ial or one ; )Upil8, Erect ff#r to »r8 for r bug- teach th«m- .-oblem me end enera- ythcy : it— a incu- Yonder ue the smoking-room party broke up, and that some, as they laughed good-humourodly over Ster- ling's egregittj recalled the number of glasses of inspirited seltzer swallowed by the orator. He was so far in advance of the most radical re- former that there was no hope of overtaking him for an era or two : so they determined to fancy they had left him behind. * ^ * V. — Party Tactics — and Political Obstructions to Social Reform. In the Club our hero revelled awhile under the protection of Sir Charles Sterling, and the pet- ting of peers, Members of Parliament, and loungers who swarm therein. Certain gentle- men of Stock Exchange mannerism and dressi- ness gave protege the go-by, and even sneered at those who noticed him with kindness. But then these are of the men with whom every question is checked by money, and is balanced on the pivot of profit and loss. I dare say some of them thought the worse of Judas only because he had made so small a gain out of his cele- brated transaction. To foster Ginx's Baby in the Club, as a recognition of the important questions surrounding him, though theoe q^ues- 156 GINX'S BABY. tions involved hundreds of thousands of other cases, was to them ridiculous. Of far greater consequence -was it in their eyes to settle a dis- pute between two extravagant fools at Constan- tinople and Cairo, and quicken the sluggishness of Turkish consols or Egyptian 9 per cents. I do not cast stones at them ; every man must look at a thing with his own eyes. But it was curious to note how the Baby's fortunes shifted in the Club. There were times when he was a pet chucked under chin by the elder stagers, favoured with a smile from a Cabi- net Minister, and now and then blessed with a nod from Mr. Joshua Hale. Then, again, every one seemed to forget him, and he was for months left unnoticed to the chance kindness of the menials until some case similar to his own happening to evoke discussion in the press, there would be a general enquiry for him. The porter, Mr. Smirke, had succeeded, by means of a detective, in discovering the boy's name, but his parents were then half-way to Canada. The members of the Fogey Club opposite, hearing that so interesting a foundling was being cherished by their opponents, politely asked leave to examine him, and be occasion- ally visited them. They treated him kindly and discussed his condition with earnestness* PARTY TACTICS. 157 ' other reater a dis- tnstan- shness nts. I 1 must Baby's e times by the a Cabi- with a I, every ,va8 for dness of lis own ) press, n. The leans of irae, but la. )pposite, ing was politely )Cca8ion- 1 kindly aestness* i The leaders of the party debated whether he might not with advantage be taken out of their opponents' hands. Some thought that a judi- cious use of him might win popularity ; but others objected that it would be perilous for theiii to mix themselves up with so doubtful an interest. In the result the Fogies tipped young Ginx, but did not commit themselves for or against him. Thus a long time elapsed, and our hero had grown old enough to be a page. He had received food, clothing, and goodwill, but no one had thought of giving him an education. Sometimes he became obstreperous. lie played tricks with the Club cutlery, and diverted its silver to improper uses ; he laid traps for upset- ting aged and infirm legislators ; he tried the coolness of the youngest and best-natured Mem- bers of Parliament by pojiping up in strange places and exhibiting unseemly attitudes. At length, by unanimous consent, he was decreed to be a nuisance, and a few days would have revoked his license at the Club. No sooner did the Fogies get wind of this than they manoeuvred to get Ginx's Baby under their own management. They instructed their *' organs," as they called them, to pipe to jiopu- lar feeling on the disgraceful apathy of the Radicals in regard to the founciling. They ha4 158 GINX'S BABY. him waylaid and treated to confectionery by their emissaries ; and once oi- twice succeeded in abducting him and sending him down to the country with their party's candidates, for exhi- bition at elections. The Eadicals resented this conduct extremely. Ginx's Baby was brought back to the Club and restored to favour. The Government papers were instructed to detail how much he was petted and talked about by the party ; to declare how needless was the popular excitement on his behalf; and to prove that he must, without any special legislation, bo benefited by the ex- traordinary organic changes then being made in the constitution of the country. Sir Charles Sterling resumed his interest in the boy. He had been gallantly aiding his party in other questions. There was the Tim- buctoo question. A miserable desert chief had shut up a wandering Englishman, not possessed of wit enough to keep his head out of danger. There was a general impression that English honour was at stake, and the previous Fogey G^overnment had ordered an expedition to cross the desert and punish the sheikh. Yon would never believe what it cost if you had not seen the bill. Ten millions sterling was as good as buried in the desert, when one-tenth of it would I PARTY TACTICS. 159 ncry by icceedcd n to the for exhi- tremely. Club and it papers I he was o declare jment on , without ly the ex- ing made iterest in iding his the Tim- chief had possessed f danger, t English us Fogey n to cross ou would not seen IS good as f it would have saved a hundred thousand people from starvation at home, and one hundredth part of it would have taken the fetters off the hapless prisoner's feet. There was the St. Helena question always brooding over Parliament. St. Helena was a constituent part of the British Empire. Every patriot agreed that the Empire without it would be incomplete ; and was so far right that its subtraction would have left the Empire by so much less. Most of its inhabitants were abori ginal — a mucurial race, full of fire, quick-witted' and gifted with the exuberant eloquence of savages, but deficient in dignity and self-control. Before any ©ne else had been given them by Providence to fight, they slaughtered and ravaged one another. Our intrusive British ancestors stepped upon the island, and, being strong men, mowed down the islanders like wheat, and appropriated the lands their swords had cleared. Still the aborigines held out in corners, and defied the conquerors. The latter ground them down, confiscated the property of their half-dozen chiefs, and distributed it among themselves. By way of showing their imperial imperiousness, they built over some ruins left by their devastations a great church, in which they orilercd all the islanders to worship. This 160 GINX'S BABY. I i i t was at first abomination to the islanders, who fought like devils whenever they could, and ended hy accepting the religion of their foes. But the conquerors, afterwards choosing to change their own faith, resolved that the islanders should do so too. Forthwith they con- fiscated the big church and burying-ground, and, distributing part of the land and spoils among their most prominent scamps, erected a new edifice of quite a different character, in which the natives swore they could neither see- nor hear, and their own clerics warned them they would certainly be damned. To make the com- plications more intricate, these clerics owed allegiance to an ancient woman in a distant country, who had all the meddlesomeness and petty jealousy of her sex, and was, besides, much attached to some clever wooers of hers, wily sinners who covered their aims under the semblance of ultra-extreme passion for her. The prominent scamps died, to be succeeded by their children, or other of the hated conquerors, from generation to generation. The islanders went on increasing and protesting. They starved upon the lands, and shot the landlords when a few gave them the chance, for most lived away in their own country, and left the property to ^ be administered by agents. The Home Govern- PARTY TACTICS. 161 'S, who d, and ir foes. jiDg to at the cy con- ad, and, among a new 1 which see- nor iin they ;ho com- es owed distant less and besides, of hers, ider the for her. eded by querors, slanders J starved s when a lmI away )pcrty to Govern- ment had again and again been obliged to assist these people with soldiers, to provide an armed police, to shoot down mobs, to catch a ringleader here or thei-e and send him to Fernando Po, or to deprive whole villages of ordinary civil rights. Then the yam crop failed, and nearly half the people left the island and crossed the seas, where they continued to hate and to plot against those whose misfortune it had been to get a legacy of the island from their fathers. It would bo wearisome to recount the absurdities on both sides : the stupidity or criminal absence of tact from time to time shown by the Home Govern- ment — the resolve never to be quiet exliibited by the natives, under the prompting of their clerics. Upon " — that common stage of novelty — " there were ever springing up fresh difficul- ties. Secret clubs were formed for murder and reprisal. A body called " Yellows " had bound themselves by private oaths to keep u}) the memory of the religious victories of their pre- decessors, and to worry the clerical party in every possible way. Their pleasure was to go about insanely blowing rams'-horns, carrying flags and bearing oranges in their hands. The islanders hated oranges, and at every opport u 162 GINX S BABY. nity cracked the skulls of the orange-bearers with brutal weapons peculiar to the island. These, in return, cracked native skulls. The whole island was in a state of perpetual commo- tion. Still, its general condition improved, its farms grew prosperous, and a joint-stock com- pany had built a mill for converting cocoanut fibre into horse-cloths, which yielded large pro- fits. The memory of past events might well have been buried ; but the clerics, in the in- terest of the old woman, fanned the embers, and the infamous bidding for popularity of parties at home served to keep alive passions that would naturally have died out. Besides, latterly folly had been too organised on both sides to suffer oblivion. Everybody was tired of the squabbles of St. Helena. At length there was a general movement in the interests of peace, and to pacify the islanders Parliament was asked to pull down the wings of the old chu .ch edifice, remove some of the graves, and cut off a large piece of the graveyard. Some were in favour also of dividing all the farms in the country among the aborigines, but the difficulty was to know how at the same time to satisfy the pre- sent occupiers. These schemes were topics of high debate, upon them the fortunes of Govern- jnent rose and fell, and while they were agitated 0-bearers e island. Us. The 1 commo- oved, its )ck com- cocoanut arge pro- ight well 1 the in- bers, and •f parties lat would erly folly to suffer >qiiabbles a general !, and to asked to ti edifice, f a large in favour 3 country )y was "to T the pre- topics of ■ Govern- ) agitated Amateur debating. 163 i Ginx's Baby could have no chance of a parlia- mentary hearing. Many other matters of singular indifference had eaten up the legislative time; but at last the increasing number of wretched infants throughout the country began to alarm the people, and Sir Cliarles Sterling thought the time had come to move on behalf of" Ginx's Baby and his fellows. VI.— Amature Debating in a High Legislative Body. While Sir Charles was trying to get the Gov- ernment to ''give him a night" to debate the Ginx's Baby case, and while associations were being formed in the metropolis for disposing of him by expatriation or otherwise, a busy peer, without notice to anybody, suddenly brought the subject before the House of Lords. As'^ho had never seen the Baby, and knew nothing or very little about him, I need scarcely report the elaborate speech in which he asked for aristo- cratic sympathy on his behalf. He proposed to send him to the Antipodes at the expense of the ' nation. The Minister for the Accidental Accorap am- 164 GINX S BABY. ments of the Empire was a clever raan — keen, genial, subtle, two-edged, a gentlemanly and not thorough disciple of Machiavel; able to lead parliamentary forlorn hopes and plant flags on breaches, or to cover retreats with brilliant skirmishing , deft, but never deep ; much moved too by the opinions of his permanent staff. These on the night in question had plied him well with hackneyed objections ; but to see him get up and relieve himself of them — the air of originality, the really original air he threw around them; the absurd light which he turned full on the weaknesses of his noble friend's pro- positions, %vas as beautiful to an inditlcrent cri- tic as it was saddening to the man who had at heart the sorrows of his kind. If that minister lived long he would be forced to adopt and advo- cate in as pretty a manner the policy he was dissecting. Lord Munnibagge, a great authority in econ- omic matters, said that a weaker case had never been presented to Parliament. To send away Ginx's Baby to a colony at Imperial expense was at once to rob the pockets of the rich and to decrease our labour-power. There was no necessity for it. Ginx's Baby could not starve in a country like this. He (Lord Munnibagge) had never heard of a case of baby starving. There was no such wide-spread distress as was represented by the noble lord. There were occasional periods of stagnation in trade, and no doubt in those periods the poorer classes would suffer ; but trade was elastic ; and even AMATEUR DEBATING. 1G5 —keen, ly and ) to lead flags on n-illiant I moved it staff, cd him see him le air of 3 threw 3 turned nd's pro- rent cri- ) had at minister nd advo- Y he was in econ- ad never nd away expense rich and was no )t starve nibagge) starving. ss as was re were ade, and r classes and even a if it were granted that the present was a period when employment had failed, the time was not far off vviien trade would recuperate. (Cheers.) Ginx's Baby and all other babies would not then wish to go away. People were always making exaggerated statements about the con- dition of the poor. He (Lord Munnibagge) did not credit them. He believed that the country, though tem])orarily depressed by tinancial colla2)scs, to be in a niost healthy state. (Hear, hear.) It was absurd to say otherwise, when it was shown by the Board of Trade returir^ that we were growing richer every day. (Cheers.) Of course Ginx's Baby must be growing richer with the rest. Was not that a complete answer to the noble lord's plain- tive outcries. (Cheers and laughter.) That the population of a country was a great fraction of its wealth was an elementary principle of poli- tical economy. He thought, from the high rates of wages, that there were not too many but too few labourers in the country. He should oppose the motion. (Cheers.) Two or three noble lords repeated similar platitudes, guarding themselves as carefully I'rom any reference to facts, or to the question whether high rates of wages might not be the concomitants simply of high prices of necessa- ries, or to the yet wider question whether colo- nial development might not have something to do with progress at home. The noble lord who had rushed unprej^arcd into the arena was une- qual to the forces marshalled against him, and withdrew his motion. lee Gmx*S BABT. il Thus the pjrcat debate collapsed. The Lords were relieved that an awkward question had so easily been shifted. The newspapers on the ministerial side declared that this debate proved the futility of the Ginx's Baby Expatriation question. "So able an authority as Lord Munnibaggo had established that there was no neeessitj^ for the interference of Government in the case of Ginx's Baby or any other babies or jiersons. The lucid and decisive statement of the Secre- tary for the Accidental Accompaniments of the Empire had shown how impossible it was for the Imperial Government to take part in a great scheme of Expatriation ; how impolitic to endea- vour to affect the ordinary laws of free move- ment to the Colonies." v Surely after this the Expatriation people hid their lights under a bushel ! The Governnlent refused to find a night for Sir Charles Sterling, and after the Lords' debate he did not see his way to force a motion in the Lower House. Meanwiiile Ginx's Baby once more decided a turn in his own fate. Tired of the slow life of the Clubs, and shivering amid the chill indifference of his patrons, lie borrowed without leave some clothes from an inmate's 'room, w^ith a few silver forks and spoons, and decamped. Whether the baronet and the Club were bashful of public'ridicule or glad to be rid of the charge, 1 know not, but no attempt was made to recover him. FART V. ) Lords had 80 on tho proved triation nibaggo isit}' tor ) case of persons. 3 Socrc- is of the was for 1 a great to endea- e move- ople hid light for s' debate -)n in the by once edofthe mid the sorrowed inmate's rons, and he Club to be rid smpt was WHAT aiNX'S BABY DID WITH HBISKI.F. A full-fnrmocl llorso, will in any market, bring from twenty to a.s high as two liunilrod i'riodriclcs d'»r : auch is his wortli to tlio world. A fuU-fdnned Man is not only worth nothing to tho world, but tho world could aflord him a round sum would ho simply engage to go and hang himself. — Sautou Ki:sautus. The Last Chapter. OUR hero was nearly fifteen years old when he left the Club to plunge into the world. He was not k)ng in converting his spoils into money, and a very short time in spending it. Then he had to pit bis wits against starvation, and some of his throws were desperate. Wherever he went the world seemed terribly full. If he answered an advertisement for an here were a score kicl '.y l../tr ^^ w* ( 4 I A lyy •cflcctcd ling tho hat was lie hour, ow, that ci'OHsed \y camo Lood up mingled , slight- i for a the dull , belbre night. id down ought I spread - lisyipate ^aa that current. [ should I, in the bad the Bridge, s of life >ver the iticians, Ministers 3n theo- g, legis- gontle- s Baby fTi € y k\J