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 ■ .*.■ National Library Biblioth6que nationale 
 B^B of Canada du Canada 
 
^ 
 
 We — old Gabriel Gossip of Goshen, and poor Pat 
 Prodpcn of Parry Sound — would take this oppor- 
 tunity of tendering our most grateful and heartfelt 
 thanks to the very many kind friends who have so 
 generously patronized us in the past. In the fol- 
 lowing pages we will only have room to give brief 
 notes and notices and names of persons and places 
 we have visited while engaged in the prosecution of 
 our peculiar profession, and as a general rule (with 
 very few exceptions), it will be found, by consulting 
 t)ur lists of names, that we have among our best 
 friends and most generous patrons the best and 
 noblest, the most prosperous and highly esteemed 
 people in every community we have visited ; and 
 that the places where we have received the most 
 couiiienance and encouragement were proportion- 
 ately progressive and prosperous. In the wretched 
 little village of Loydtown, with its dirty, dilapidated 
 (and in several cases dese'rted) dwellings, with their 
 damaged doors and battered walls, and broken 
 windows stuffed with rags and old hats — with rotten 
 and broken sidewalks, or none at all, — we did not 
 
 " a single book. We have greatly marvelled why 
 
 se 
 
 this miserable little village should have become 
 such a God-forsaken sort of a place and such a 
 disgrace to the fair and fertile town.ship of King, 
 in which it is located. What a contrast does it not 
 present to the beautiful and prosperous town of 
 Aurora, partly situated in the same township, where 
 we got nearly $io in a single day! And again, what 
 a strong and striking contrast does not Pat Prod- 
 pen's own romantically beautiful, busily indu.strious 
 and superlatively prosperous and progressive town 
 of Parry Sound, with its long list of 50 and 25-ccnt 
 names, present to the miserable little village of 
 Ragville, on Yonge street, about 18 miles north of 
 Toronto, with only one loc. name to show what a 
 fearfully poor place it is. But these two instances 
 
will be sufficient to prove and illustrate the truth of 
 the theory we have advanced. 
 
 To those gentlemen of the newspaper press of 
 Ontario who have so kindly and considerately 
 noticed our humble efforts to climb the steep 
 ladder of literature, we would also proffer our most 
 heartfelt thanks. As a class they take high rank 
 as one of the mo.st intelligent, intellectual and best 
 educated bodies of men in the Dominion. We 
 have received at least two score of nice newspaper 
 notices since we first started in this particular 
 vocation, including one from the Toronto weekly 
 Globe and two from the Toronto weekly Mail^ those 
 towering giants of Canadian journalism. We are 
 sure our kind, indulgent readers will excuse us for 
 publishing a few of these notices in the way of 
 letters of recommendation. 
 
 From the Toronto weekly Mail for March i8th, 1886 : 
 " Pat Prodpen, the Parry Sound Poet, has issued another 
 of bis gossipy little publications. Since Mr. Elliott, other- 
 wise Pat, was last introduced to our readers, be met with 
 a sad misfortune, losing an eye, an occurrence tbat will be 
 regretted by the perambulating poet's many friends." 
 
 From the West Durham News, Bowmanville, Jan. 25th, 
 18S9: "During the present week a distinguished visitor 
 has been in town, in the person of James Elliott, of Parry 
 Sound, commonly known as Pat Prodpen, the Parry Sound 
 Poet. Mr. Elliott is entirely deaf and is nearly blmd, but 
 can speak. He has written a little book which he is offer- 
 ing for sale. During the summer he is at home, engaged 
 in the work of a bush farmer in the above romantic place, 
 but in the fall and winter he spends his time writing and 
 selHng books. This is Pat Prodpen's first ^'isit here, and 
 he says he likes the town well and styles it a city in minia- 
 ture. The book is illustrated and is quite a curiosity." 
 
 From the Paris Review, Feb. 14th, 1889 : "James Elliott, 
 the deaf traveller and poet, who woos the muse in the wilds 
 of Parry Sound, wher^ in summer he farms, was in town 
 last week canvassing ^or subscribers to his forthcoming 
 poetical volume on Parip, which he tells the Review is one 
 of the most beautiful of UH the pretty towns he has visited 
 in his peregrinations. The poet is no ordinary character, 
 but a real rough diamond, who is widely known and 
 held in respect wherever he goes. Under the pseudonym 
 of Pat Prodpen, he has done work which stamps him as one 
 
of the nascitur order and no mistake. We note that our 
 excellent contemporary, the Dundas Banner, talks about 
 him in a careless, aberrated sort of way. This will never 
 do ; the Banner man had better beware of the poet's 
 vengeance." 
 
 The town of Orillia, about loo miles north of 
 Toronto, is such are markably beautiful place that 
 we yield to the temptation to give the notices we 
 have received from the kind, urbane and gentle- 
 manly editors of each of the three excellent local 
 papers it possesses. 
 
 From the Orillia daily Times, for March 5th, 1889 : " Jas. 
 Elliott, late of Parry Sound, poet and Hterateur, is in town. 
 He is collecting material for some great work on Canada, 
 and will put your name in the book for the modest sum of 
 IOC cash. He introduced himself at the Times office yester- 
 day, where he appeared as a quiet, honest looking old gentle- 
 man, with a poet's eyes and hair, and stone deaf. His work, 
 " A Deaf Traveller," is unique and deals with certain 
 person-, and subjects antagonistic to the author, in a very 
 strong manner." 
 
 From the Orillia News-Letter for March 8th, 1889 : " Mr. 
 James Elliott, the Parry Sound poet, who spends his time 
 during the summer following the hard life of a backwoods 
 pioneer, and writing and selling books in the winter, called 
 on the News-Letter Wednesday. His latest production, 
 " A Deaf Traveller," is a gem of the first water and must be 
 read to be appreciated. Any person reading this book will 
 be sure to buy all of Mr. Elliott's future productions. He 
 has secured about 50 subscribers to his next work, in which 
 he has obligingly promised to notice the News-Letter." 
 
 From the Orillia Packet, March 8th, 1889: " Mr. James 
 Elliott, whose literary name is Pat Prodpen, hails from 
 Parry Sound, a village he is exceedingly proud of. He has 
 been' here this'week selling an unique little book of his pro- 
 ductions, and we understand met with a gratifying response 
 to his appeal. Mr. Elliott is entirely deaf and nearly 
 blind, but can speak. During the summer he does the work 
 of a pioneer farmer and in the winter visits older parts of 
 the country. He says Orillia shows more signs of sub- 
 stantial progress than any other of the seventy places he 
 has visited this season." 
 
 If our very limited space permitted we would 
 gladly give the names of all the papers and their 
 
gentlemanly editors who have so kindfy given us 
 complimentary notices. The trouble with us is not 
 a lack but a superabundance of material to fill a 
 volume of the size that our limited means will 
 permit us to publish. In the notices we have given 
 we have not added a single word to or taken a 
 single word from them, but have given them exactl\- 
 as they appeared in their respective papers. But, 
 limited as our space is, we feel that it would not be 
 right to neglect to acknowledge our obligations to 
 the editors of two newspapers published in the 
 classically beautiful and God-favoured city of 
 Goshen, in the noble State of Indiana, U.S. W. A. 
 Beane, Esq., of the Goshen Democrat, now in the 
 53rd year of a long and useful life, the oldest, as it 
 is also one of the best and most ably conducted 
 weekly papers at present published in northern 
 Indiana. Its kind-hearted, courteous and gentle- 
 manly editor is one of our Goshen favourites, and as 
 bright and beautiful as this city of the plain appears 
 to us, it would not look so bright and beautiful if this 
 genuinely genial, jovial and jolly old gentleman was 
 not in it. These remarks will apply with almost 
 equal force to the gifted and gentlemanly editors of 
 the Goshen daily and weekly Times. Goshen, for 
 a city in one of the older States, is remarkable for 
 its substantial prosperity and solid progress, and for 
 the number and extent of its factories and manufac- 
 turing industries. It is the headquarters and home 
 of John H. Lesh & Co., the largest hardwood 
 lumber manufacturing firm in the world. This 
 company has four large steam saw mills in Goshen 
 alone and three more in other places, and ship from 
 Goshen on an average of from 10 to 12 carloads 
 of lumber per day, destined for almost every quarter 
 of the civilized globe, giving constant and remuner- 
 ative employment to quite a small army of work- 
 men ; and we have ourselves seen last summer (1888) 
 as many as nine teams, some of three horses abreast, 
 unloading logs in the log yard of 100 acres in 
 extent attached to one of their mills in Goshen, at 
 one and the same time, and this just as an adjunct 
 
and addition to the large supply of logs that this 
 mammoth company have brought in for them on 
 the various lines of railway running to and through 
 the city. We both regret our inability from 
 want of sufficiently full and accurate information on 
 the subject, to give a detailed account and an exact 
 description of everything in connection with the 
 various business establishments, industrial enter- 
 prises and manufacturing industries of this notably 
 industrious and wealthy city, as it would give us the 
 most heartfelt pleasure to be able to " write up " 
 Goshen and to give a genuinely eloquent portrayal 
 of its peculiar beauties, its manifold attractions and 
 its especial advantages, to do full justice to which 
 would require far abler pens than ours; but we at 
 least can do something to show our good-will 
 towards this beautiful city of our adoption and our 
 gratitude for the kind consideration we have re- 
 ceived from some of its most estimable citizens. 
 Among the many noticeable features of Goshen are 
 the long and straight rows of m.aples and other 
 beautiful shade trees that line in long perspectives 
 each side of some of its finest and remarkably wide 
 and well kept streets, and of these Fifth street 
 justly claims the precedence. It is really a veritable 
 avenue of remarkable beauty. Another conspicu- 
 ous feature of Goshen is its electric light towers, 
 in the most suitable quarters of the city, flimsy- 
 looking, fairy-like struc cs, four square corners, 
 built of long iron poles a i'.1 braced and girdered by 
 large and strong iron rods strongly clamped and 
 riveted and screwed together, the four sides sloping 
 steeply upwards to a height of loo feet or more 
 and crowned by the electric light apparatus. 
 Goshen is also distinguished by the number, the 
 architectural beauty of design and co.stliness of its 
 principal family residences, enclosed in and sur- 
 rounded by beautiful emerald tinted grass plots, 
 table-top level and smoothly clipped lawns, flourish- 
 ing flower gardens and flower bordered gravel walks. 
 In these several respects the beautiful homes of 
 John H. Lesh, Esq., and Mr. Noble on east Lincoln 
 
6 
 
 avenue, and the palatial residence of Conrad L 
 Landsrcavcr, Esq., on the north-west corner of 
 1 url and 7th streets, deserve special mention. There 
 is another still more costly, cosily comfortable and 
 curiously castellated private residence in Goshen 
 that It would give us pleasure to particularize, only 
 vve found its proprietor one of the meanest, if not 
 the only mean man, we have yet met with in 
 Goshen, so "mum's the word." To give such a 
 complete and accurate history and description of" 
 Goshen and its sober, industrious, mora! and law- 
 abiding i^cople as we would like to, would more 
 than fill to overflowing a small volume of twice or 
 thrice the size of this little "book." But there is 
 another pleasing if not peculiar feature about Goshen 
 that we must not neglect to mtice, viz., the lon^- 
 .stretches of perfectly level and thoroughly well 
 made concrete or artificial stone sidewalks that line 
 each side of its principal streets and most frequent- 
 ed thoroughfares. In Goshen the law rules that 
 the owners of lots on the streets of the city must 
 bear the cost of making and keeping in repair the 
 portion of sidewalk opposite their respective lots 
 and the bad condition of a particular portion of 
 sidewalk goes very far to show that the person 
 whose lot It fronts is either mean and miserly or in 
 poor and embarrassed circumstances. It is to 
 James Grant of 513 south 7th street, manufacturer 
 ot cement tile, sewer pipe, window sills and concrete 
 pavements that the good citizens of Goshen are 
 mdebted for the largest and the best constructed 
 portion of the admirably good .sidewalks that add 
 to the manifold attractions of their model city. In 
 the construction of concrete or cement pavements 
 It 1.S very necessary in order to insure the best 
 results that the materials of which they are made 
 should be used in certain proportions and thor- 
 oughly well mixed together before being used. 
 No one understands and attends to this most im- 
 portant part of this particular business better and 
 more carefully than James Grant, and he is not only 
 a remarkably clever and skilful mechanic, with a 
 
i' 
 
 thoroughly practical knowledge of the most minute 
 details of the several branches of his profession, but 
 he is a conscientiously honest and honourable 
 gentleman, and as a consequence he is at times 
 under quite a pressure of business engagements, not 
 only in Goshen, but in neighbouring towns and 
 cities, so that he is at times obliged to employ quite 
 a number of men. One special branch of his pro- 
 fession is the making of cement or artificial stone 
 vaults for graves, and in this line his services have 
 been called into requisition for scores if not for 
 hundreds of Goshen's most respected citizens who 
 are now sleeping their last long sleep in the beau- 
 tiful Oakwood cemetery in the north-western 
 suburbs of the city, near the softly murmuring 
 waters of the smoothly flow ing Elkhart river. Next 
 to St. James' Cemetery in the north-eastern 
 suburbs of Toronto, where we often went when we 
 were boys to meditate on the uncertainty of life and 
 the certainty of death, this graveyard, with its rich 
 profusion of rare and beautiful flowers and flower- 
 decorated graves, its many beautiful evergreen- and 
 other shade trees, its neat and well kept gravel 
 walks, and its grand wealth of beautiful granite, 
 
 • marble and porphyry, tomb stones and memorial 
 monuments, is one of the most beautiful burial 
 grounds we have yet seen anywhere. It occui)ies a 
 prominent position in the topograjjjiy of Goshen, 
 
 , and it is here that we ourselves have some faint 
 hope of being laid to rest when our pilgrimage on 
 earth shall have come to an end. A day or two 
 before leaving Goshen for Canada, last October 
 (1888), we canvassed for the names of a (ew of the 
 most distinguished citizens of the city— certain that 
 the honour of having their names would greatly aid 
 in popularizing the Goshen pages of our little book, 
 but we have lost or mislaid our note book containing 
 the names of those who favored us by writing their 
 names in it, so that we are only able to give a few 
 
 of these names : James Grant, Mayor Miller, Hon. 
 Daniel Wilson, Hon. John Baker, Major Reith, 
 Mr. John HoUoway, and last but not least, Mr. F. 
 
8 
 
 B^ Hoffman, a most kind and generous gentleman, 
 who has often shown himself a " friend in need '' 
 Among our lady patrons we have the honor of 
 nammg Mrs. C. L. Landgreaver, Mrs. W. A. Beane 
 Mrs. James Grant, Mrs. Rudolf Aust. To Mrs' 
 Grant especially we would tender our most grateful 
 thanks for the many obligations her goodness of 
 heart and considerate kindness have laid us under 
 She is in strict truth a most sensible, self-possessed 
 and even-tempered lady, thoroughly well posted up 
 and educated in the various arts and accomplish- 
 ments that help to ble.ss and benefit and beautify a 
 home. To show that we arc not alone in our high 
 estimation of the genuine worth of this estimable 
 lady, we will just record the fact that between fifty 
 and sixty of the most respectable ladies of Goshen 
 united to do her honor by getting up a " surprise 
 party" upon the occasion of her last recurring 
 birthday. It would give us real pleasure to be able 
 to record the names of all the ladies who composed 
 this large party, if such a thing was at all possible 
 We would not conclude this notice of Goshen 
 without availing ourselves of this opportunity of 
 tendering our most heartfelt thanks to those kind 
 adics who have treated our families with so much " 
 kindness during our prolonged absence in Canada 
 v\ e do most sincerely wish them as large a store 
 and stock of ficalth and happiness as it is possible 
 tor any inhabitant of earth to possess. 
 
 And now, kind and indulgent reader, since \'ou 
 have so patiently listened to old Gabriel Gossip 
 
 ' uu, l''^ J^'''' •''" ^^''>' '''"'' glibly and gushingly 
 gabbled about Goshen, please pay attention to poor 
 I at Prodpen while he points out with pride the 
 praiseworthy points and peculiar privileges of his 
 own pretty place, Parry Sound, a phenomenally 
 Hourishing town in the far northern backwoods of 
 C anada, about 200 miles north of Toronto, built at 
 the cast end of a long and extensive stretch of 
 water of the same name— one of the safest and 
 most commodious harbors on the North American 
 continent, easy of access and open to vessels from 
 
^p 
 
 ■^ 
 
 t 
 
 any part of the world, as the town itself is easy of 
 access ,n summer time by rail and steamer and 
 stage from all pomts of the compass. The Muskoka 
 iZ. i-hl^n"''"^ ^^ayigation Company, which has no 
 less than nine well appointed, excellently equipped 
 and admirably managed steamers traversing the 
 
 r.M ""' ^!°''^'^" ^^y' '^^ M"'''^^'^^ Lakes ^„d 
 the Maganetawan river, under the able and efficient 
 general management of A. P. Cockburn, Esq., ex- 
 M.I a large-brained whole-souled gentleman, one 
 of those long-headed men like Mr. Hickson and 
 Mr^ Van Home, of whom Canada has good reason 
 o feel proud. Two of this company'.^ vessels the 
 large, commodious and co n-table steamer, F B 
 Maxwell, and the steamer lu.pertial, under the able 
 local superintendence of our old time and highly 
 esteemed friend. David McQuade, Esq., form^ an 
 exceedingly attractive and convenient daily line of 
 communication between Parry Sound and the 
 beautiful and thriving towns of CoUingwood, Pene- 
 tanguishene and Midland, on the southern shores ot 
 the Georgian Bay, and thence by rail to all parts of 
 Ontario. These steamers also form a regular line 
 of communication from Parry Sound tS French 
 River, Byng Inlet, and other places on the northern 
 shores of the same great inland lake. Parry Sound 
 IS a remarkably picturesque and in some respects a 
 romantically beautiful town, and one of the most 
 celebrated and attractive summer resorts and 
 tashionablc watering places in the Dominion of 
 L-anada and this peculiar attribute of this prosoer- 
 ous and progressive place has led to the erection of 
 a large and commodious summer hotel in a con- 
 spicuous position on one of the most commandin^r 
 heights which surround the town-and which is 
 (or a long distance) to the eyes of travellers and 
 strangers on the deck of a steamer approaching the 
 town from the west, a most marked landmark of an 
 ever advancing civilization. One of the most 
 beautiful birds-eye views of the town and its envir- 
 onments can be obtained from the rock-crowned 
 head of one of the rough, rugged rock mountain 
 
lO 
 
 hills that bound the town on the west and north, 
 and contemplated under the golden sunlight and 
 through the gauzy veil of silvery mist of a bright 
 
 May or June morning, the scene presented to the 
 appreciative eye is almost sublimely grand, if not 
 exceedingly sublime ; nor is the panoramic view of 
 the landscape and scenery less absorbingly beautiful 
 when seen at eventide under the more subdued 
 light of a fast descending sun — the placid waters of 
 the Sound stretching away to the west, its bosom 
 illumined by the slanting rays of the sinking sun 
 until it glares and shines like a dazzling sheet of 
 burnished gold, while to the south the spacious 
 harbor is seen dotted with tree-crowned islands 
 and guardianed round by advancing and retreating 
 headlands ; nor has the mechanical ingenuity and 
 the pecuniary means of man been wanting in 
 adding to and increasing the particular attractions 
 and advantages of the town. One of the most 
 costly and elaborately beautiful buildings in it is 
 tht residence erected a few years ago by a talented 
 and enterprising gentleman, the late lamented 
 J. C. Miller, Esq., who was Parry Sound's first 
 representative in the Ontario Legislature. Next 
 come the remarkably handsome and tastefully 
 finished residences of Messrs. Fitzgerald and Glad- 
 man, of the Midland and North Shore Lumber 
 Company, and the equally if not more beautiful 
 and spacious residences of David Beatty, Esq., 
 P.L.S., while William Beatty, Esq., with most com- 
 mendable modesty and Christian humility, contents 
 himself with a modest mansion that crowns the 
 summit of a moderate elevation on the west side of 
 ♦he town. 
 
 The town is also greatly favoured in having 
 within its borders two of the most extensive steam 
 power saw mills north of Toronto, belonging respec- 
 tively to the " Midland and North Shore " and the 
 Conger Lumber companies, the original members 
 of the Conger company being Messrs. W. H. Pratt, 
 of Toronto, and Mr. Spratt, of the city of Alpena, 
 Michigan. The former gentleman was a candidate 
 
 .r 
 
II 
 
 for the representation of Parry Sound district in the 
 Untario House, but owing to his having neglected 
 to take out naturalization papers and thus transform 
 himself from a citizen of the grandest republic that 
 has ever existed on earth, into a subject of the 
 Queen of England, his chances of being elected 
 were utterly destroyed and invalidated by the law 
 governing such peculiar cases. And with respecT 
 to Mr Spratt, we had the honor of a persona 
 acquaintance with this gentleman during one of his 
 brief visits to Parry Sound a few years ago. and we 
 will candidly confess that we found him a veTy 
 quiet, self-possessed and unassuming man a kind 
 courteous and affable gentleman in every sense of 
 the term. ' 
 
 In addition to these busy lines of human industry 
 there is also a still more extensive sawmill the 
 motive power for whose most ingeniously contrived 
 constructed and complicated machinery is obtained 
 by utilizing the darkly rolling waters of the sanguin- 
 ary Seguin River, beneath whose pitiless waves the 
 ives of at least half a dozen little boys have corne 
 to a premature end, its latest victim being the 
 oldest son of our esteemed friend, John GalnarEsq 
 
 hth ?■«« '7'''' ''^' '^'■^^"^^ Saturday, May 
 
 25th, 1889, aged 12 years. ^ 
 
 r ^^'^^'li-u '''^?^^'^ ^y *^^ ^^''y Sound Lumber 
 Co J. B. Miller. Esq President. This company 
 also own the best and largest steam shingle factory 
 we have yet seen, where they manufacture a very 
 large quantity of shingles of a very superior quality 
 carefully selected and a.ssorted into three different 
 classes, with, as a guarantee, the name of the com 
 pany imprinted on each bunch by the deft-handed 
 and hone.«t-mindcd shingle packers. One of ou 
 1 arry Sound favorites. Jeremiah Coffey, a fine 
 specimen of the young men of Parry Sound i 
 packer or buncher in this mill, has repeatedly 
 packed a bunch in our presence in three minutes 
 time, four bunches to the 1,000 shingles, at the rate 
 of mne cents per .,000, or 2.4 cents per bunch 
 packing pay. This rate of remuneration would 
 
12 
 
 give a clever man like Mr. Coffey a golden oppor- 
 tunity of accumulating a nice little sum for the 
 time when his hair would begin to turn white. 
 Another of our Parry Sound favorites is Mr. 
 Thomas McCoy, a remarkably fine and good look- 
 ing specimen of the genus homo. Both of these 
 young gentlemen have a deal of influence among 
 the young men of the town and district of Parry 
 Sound, and we would venture to suggest that they 
 emulate each other by trying in the way of an 
 experiment to see who can get us the largest num- 
 ber of subscribers for our next book, following in 
 this thing the example of a highly esteemed friend 
 of the earlier years of our literary life, Mr. Robert 
 Taylor, formerly of Parry Sound, but now a resident 
 of Winnipeg, Manitoba. We have very pleasant 
 memories of this young gentleman. May God bless 
 and prosper him. 
 
 Besid \s these several mills there is another large 
 steam mill or factory owned by the Midland and 
 North Shore Lumber Company, for the making, 
 planing and manufacturing of flooring and other 
 requisites and materials used in the erection and 
 finishing of human habitations. And there is yet 
 another industry in Parry Sound, but which after 
 all is hardly worth noticing, as it is really a disgrace 
 to and a reflection upon a town the most promin- 
 ent citizens of which are noted for their energy and 
 enterprise, their push, pluck, perseverance and 
 public spirit. The industry in question is a tan- 
 nery, a little one-horse sort of affair driven at 
 spasmodic intervals by a few donkey power, wheesy, 
 old second-hand steam engine, and operated by 
 two or three " hands," the whole business on a par 
 with the personal appearance, the character and 
 conduct of the person who owns it. 
 
 A grim visaged fellow, half cobbler, half tanner, 
 
 As sour as sour sorrel, as close as a crab ; 
 Holds fast to the coppers inscribed on his banner, 
 
 Supposing he has one mud-colored or drab, 
 He signed for a " quarter " — a poor little fiver 
 
 Would cover, and hide his shrivelled up soul, 
 An ancient bras.s copper, a cent or a stiver, 
 
 The sorrow concern would buy or control. 
 
13 
 
 This self-same individual felt awfully bad, and made 
 or tried to make a fearful lot of fuss because his 
 sorry-looking, shabby little show of two or three 
 pairs of boots and shoes were not preferred at the 
 very creditable agricultural show held at Parry 
 Sound last fall, to the really splendid exhibit of 
 two dozen different kinds of boots and shoes shown 
 by John Moff"att, Esq., wholesale and retail boot 
 and shoe merchant and manufacturer of Parry 
 Sound. If this poor little fussy, fault-finding, fidgety, 
 old fiddle-stick of a fellow could have been made 
 to see himself as others saw him, it would have 
 gone far to have cured him of the notion of ever 
 exhibiting his wares and his airs and himself as a 
 remarkable specimen of a short-ear'd ass, at any 
 agricultural show again. The scurvy treatment 
 we received from this mean little man stands out 
 in strong contrast to the generous and gentlemanly 
 treatment we received from Wm. Beaty, John Mc- 
 Clelland, Mayor 1888 and 1889, Captain Stewart, 
 John Galna, R. H. Danter, J. M. Ansley, P. M., a! 
 Starkey, P. Wilcox, D. M. White, W. R. Beatty, 
 John Moffat, David Beatty, P. L. S., D. W. Ross, 
 J. E. P. Ryder, A. A. Lawson, D. L. McDonald, 
 Mrs. Pratt, John McGregor— all 50c. subscription 
 names. Mrs. Miller, Mrs. Annie Hall, Mrs. T. 
 Knecshaw, Mrs. M. Hayes, Miss Laura Hughes, 
 Judge McCurry, W. T. Thompson, J. R. Legget, 
 Thomas Ryder, H. Mcggit, Rev. R. Mosley, R. M. 
 Holmes, M. Buchan, Thomas Kennedy, Arthur 
 Edward, R. M. Hudson, Robert Spring, James 
 Applebee, M. D., Thomas Dowcll, Joseph Farrar, 
 P. M., P. Cahoun, Rev. George Browne, T. W. Hufif, 
 A. D. Myers, F. Lcfex, C. L. White, J. S. Rogerson, 
 W. L. Haiglu, barrister ; T. L. Bowes, barrister ; 
 
Thomas A. Clark, John A. Johnson, S. Oldfield 
 W. S. McKinley, James Johnson, A. M. Brown, W. 
 R. Foot, George Richardson, William Howard, 
 Thomas McGowan, W. H. Pratt, J. R. Hogg, J. S. 
 McKinley, Jeremiah Coffey, James Hatch, Frank 
 Shields, A. A. Richmond, John Pearce, J. Calder, 
 Mrs. VV. Calder, P>ed C. King, — McCannor, George 
 G. Gladman — all 25c. subscription names. Rev. 
 Mr. Gavallier, 20c.; Thomas M. Johnston, 15c.; 
 Mrs. Henry Jukes, jun. I2j^c.; Joseph Lafor, I2iic. 
 Mrs. Kirkman, R. A. Gleason, J. F. Moslcy, W. H. 
 Mosley, C. Holmes, John Gavvice, Patton & McRae, 
 J. Nickerson, T. W. George, T. Fisher, Mrs. Alex- 
 ander, Sheriff Armstrong— all loc. names. Mrs. 
 Chewel, Mrs. Newel, Mrs. Wingfield, Mrs. Rivers, 
 Mrs. Hamilton— all 5c. names. It will be noticed 
 that we have divided our Parry Sound patrons into 
 four classes— a 50c., a" 25c., a loc. and a 5c. class, 
 an arrangement that we will adhere to with respect 
 to other places, to economize space, as the names 
 would take up twice or thrice as much room. if 
 placed in perpendicular columns, as we have here- 
 tofore done. We make an exception in favor 
 of Parry Sound in publishing little 5c. names 
 for the reason that it is our own and our 
 favorite town. It will soon be nineteen years since 
 we first saw Parry Sound, as a little hamlet with 
 one rickety-rackety water power sawmill and one 
 store ; and now, thanks to the indomitable energy, 
 enterprise, and far-reaching and prophetic foresight 
 of William Beatty, once M.P. for the frontier county 
 of Welland, it has become, under his judicious and 
 skilful management, one of the fairest and most 
 flourishing towns in Ontario ; and in this labor he 
 found an able coadjutor in the late John Clauson 
 Miller, Esq., ex-M.P.P. for the then undivided dis- 
 tricts of Muskoka and Parry Sound. It is to the 
 untiring exertions of Mr. Beatty and Judge Mc- 
 Curry, and other energetic and enterprising gentle- 
 men, that the hardy and industrious settlers of 
 Parry Sound have now a fair prospect of having a 
 railway constructed through the centre of the dis- 
 
15 
 
 trict. The settlers owe a debt of gratitude to these 
 gentlemen, and to the Dominion and Ontario Gov- 
 ernments for the efforts they have made and the 
 consideration they have shown for the welfare of 
 the district. In connection with this notice of this 
 rising town, we would take this opportunity of pay- 
 ing a slight tribute to the memory of a gentleman 
 who was once one of its most respected citizens, 
 the late Villeroy Switzer, Esq., whose premature 
 death we, in common with a great many others, 
 have often greatly regretted. 
 
 In conclusion, we mnst not omit to mention our 
 obligations to T. W. Quinn, Esq., one of the most 
 enterprising and energetic, as well as generous md 
 gentlemanly young men in the town. Mr. Quinn 
 runs two lines of first-class mail stages, one on the 
 great Northern road to McKellar and Dunchurch, 
 and one on the Parry Sound road to Rosseau. He 
 also owns one of the best and largest livery stables 
 north of Toronto. Last winter, followingthecxample 
 of John McClelland, Esq., Mayor of Parry Sound*, 
 he strayed away " outside " the limits of the town a 
 hundred miles or more, and brought back with him 
 a most estimable young lady as his wife. Why he 
 should have done such a thing when he might have 
 had his choice among the bright and beautiful 
 belles of Parry Sound, is more than we can for the 
 life of us (or for that matter, the death of one or both 
 of us) exactly understand. Mr. Quinn is also for- 
 tunate in possessing two of the most careful, effici- 
 ent, experienced and trustworthy stage drivers it 
 would be possible for him to find— Thomas John- 
 ston on the Parry Sound road, and our old-time 
 friend, William Junk, on the " great Northern road." 
 Mr. Junk has recently got married to a very estim- 
 able young lady, Mi.ss Lsabclla Crosswell,of Ahmic 
 Harbor. We wish them a long, a prosperous and 
 a happy life. 
 
i6 
 
 OLD JOHNNIE TAIT, WHO BOUGHT A 
 
 COW. 
 
 A BALLAD OF M'KELLAR. 
 
 JOHNNIK TAIT " ON HORSEBACK " ON THE COW. 
 
 How Johnnie Tait once bought a cow 
 We have a mind to tell you now. 
 Then listen, friends, while we relate 
 A truthful story of John Tait. 
 A blear-eyed man, one Johnnie Tait, 
 A queer-eyed man, old Johnnie Tait, 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 Poor little blear-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 Old Johnnie Tait who bought the cow 
 Of which we v/ish to tell you now. 
 To tell you where and when and how 
 Old Johnnie Tait once bought a cow, 
 Bought a cow, bought a cow. 
 Tell you where and when and how 
 Poor old Johnnie bought a cow. 
 And this is just the reason why 
 We now have Johnnie " in your eye," 
 Resolved in rough and rugged verse 
 A tale of Johnnie to rehearse. 
 Tell you where and when and how 
 Poor little Johnnie bought a cow, 
 Bought a cow, bought a cow. 
 How poor wee Johnnie bought a cow, 
 Poor wee pale-faced Johnnie Tait. 
 Poor wee snail-paced Johnnie Tait, 
 Johnnie Tajt, Johnnie Tait, 
 
 iS * 
 
A 
 
 (i ♦ 
 
 17 
 
 Poor wee pale-faced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Whom Satan did innoculate 
 
 With love of plunder and of pelf, 
 
 In hopes to make him like himself 
 
 While yet an infant at the breast, 
 
 And in her arms his mother prest 
 
 Her poor, pale, puny, peevish pet, 
 
 To still his cries while he did fret 
 
 For " licorice ball " or " candy stick," 
 
 Because she knew 'twould make him sick 
 
 To give him all for which he craved. 
 
 So young by selfish greed enslaved. 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Who should his sins expatriate. 
 
 Shut up within a strong stone jug, 
 
 This two-legged old potato bug : 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait who bought a cow. 
 
 Of which we mean to tell you now. 
 
 Tell you where and when and how 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait once bought a cow 
 
 Bought a cow, bought a cow. 
 
 How Johnnie Tait once bought a cow. 
 
 And this the burden of our song. 
 
 Incited by a sense of wrong, 
 
 A truthful story to unfold 
 
 Of Johnnie's greed and love for gold. 
 
 His greedy, grasping avarice, 
 
 The old tap-root of every vice — 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor wee pale-faced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor wee snail-paced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Always watching on the sly 
 
 Like an old rat with hungry eye. 
 
 Some poor fool to gull and cheat. 
 
 Moving round on slippered feet. 
 
 Like crafty cat or cunning snake 
 
 Gliding through a bushy brake, 
 
 When he sees a likely chance 
 
 His own mean interests to advance. 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor old blear-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor old queer-eyed Johnnie Tait 
 
 Knows how to lie, prevaricate, 
 
 And we, to prove that this is true. 
 
 This little story tell to you, 
 
 Just tell you when and where and how 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait once bought a cow, 
 
 Bought a cow, bought a cow. 
 
 Tell you where and when and how 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait once bought a cow. 
 
 And this the reason why we prod 
 
 This poor old fellow — 't is odd 
 
ft) 
 
 i8 
 
 That he should dare to cheat and lie, 
 
 To curse and swear, when he must die 
 
 Sure as the sun will rise and set, 
 
 That wood will burn, that rain will wet 
 
 Poor grubbing, grovelling mammon's slave, 
 
 So surely travelling to a grave 
 
 Envelop'd in a chilly gloom, 
 
 Where flowers of hope may never bloom ; 
 
 As black as darkest shades of night, 
 
 Without one ray ot cheering light. 
 
 Poor Johnnie Tait, old Johnnie Tait, 
 
 A devil's college graduate. 
 
 Who (we will venture to aver) 
 
 Has never op'd his lips in prayer 
 
 From an impulse of gratitude 
 
 To God, the giver of all good. 
 
 Poor old blear-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait, who bought a cow. 
 
 From which we take occasion now 
 
 To show him as he shows himself, 
 
 Thrall'd by a slavish love of pelf. 
 
 The thirst for gold, the greed for gain, 
 
 That leaves on lives of men a stain, 
 
 Corrupts the heart, perverts the mind 
 
 To conscience dead, to honour blind, 
 
 In proof of which we cite John Tait, 
 
 Whose love of lucre is so great 
 
 We really think that he would strive 
 
 To sell his soul for one pound five ; 
 
 Yes, truly friends, we will confess 
 
 We think that he would sell for less 
 
 His sordid soul to Satan sure: 
 
 When golden baits tempt and allure 
 
 Poor wee pale-faced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor wee snail-paced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Johnnie Tait, Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor wee pale-faced Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait who bought a cow, 
 
 Of which we mean to tell you now. 
 
 Who bought a cow and promised fair 
 
 To act quite straight and on the square, 
 
 No tweedle uum and tweedle dee, 
 
 One rule for you and one for me. 
 
 Yet showed himself a cheat and fraud 
 
 Who worships mammon and not God, 
 
 Yet once for all please understand 
 
 That God will take this rogue in hand, 
 
 Will show that He cares for the right 
 
 Tho' fools insult and rascals slight, 
 
 For He is just. His power is great, 
 
 He can attend to old John Tait, 
 
 ii 
 
 -^ 
 
 <# 
 
%i 
 
 ii 
 
 
 ^ 
 
 4 
 
 19 
 
 And we ourselves this mean old fraud 
 
 This red -eyed rogue will roughly prod 
 
 For we will candidly confess 
 
 This is the art that we profess : 
 
 To praise the good, to prod the bad, 
 
 Not caring much if they get mad. 
 
 Is just the thing we mean to do 
 
 As this rough world we journey through. 
 
 Quite sure to have the sympath_,- 
 
 Of men of true nobility : 
 
 We do not care at any rate 
 
 For the esteem of men like Tait. 
 
 Tho' we did once — we will avow — 
 
 Esteem him well, but do not now. 
 
 Poor old blear-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor old queer-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Johnnie Tait, Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor old blear-eyed Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait who bought the cow. 
 
 Of which 'tis time to tell you now, 
 
 And if you please we will explain — 
 
 'Tis rather hard to make it plain. 
 
 Expressed in verse instead of prose, 
 
 As you may easily suppose 
 
 The subject dull and prosaic : 
 
 It makes us feel quite tired and sick 
 
 To try to string it up in rhyme 
 
 With smoothly-sounding sonorous chime. 
 
 The theme so tame and commonplace, 
 
 A trade and barter sort of case 
 
 About a cow our wives would sell, 
 
 And one that Tait did want as well. 
 
 They were about to emigrate 
 
 To fair Indiana's distant state ; 
 
 They wished to sell, Tait wished to buy. 
 
 And so he did resolve to try 
 
 If he this purpose could attain 
 
 Consistent with one object gain ; 
 
 'Twas in the spring of eighty-eight, 
 
 When trade was in its healthiest state. 
 
 About this thing he came to see ; 
 
 But then our wives would not agree 
 
 To take the offer that he made, 
 
 It was so very low they said, 
 
 (The man was to his natui t true, 
 
 A natural-born old Shylock Jew). 
 
 They hardly cared to discuss 
 
 His offers so preposterous ; 
 
 Was she in calf ? They could not say, 
 
 The season late when "taken away," 
 
20 
 
 For we ourselves ^we mind the time 
 But cannot nam( he date in rhyme) 
 Made haste to take the cow " away " 
 Upon a cold November day. 
 The bull, a Jersey thoroughbred, 
 In a McKellar stable fed ; 
 The charge, two dollars, which we paid, 
 Which made things better for a trade, 
 I o this old man, old Johnnie Tait, 
 A thmg that went without debate. 
 Who, when he found he could not get 
 The thmg on which his heart was set, 
 A good grade cow at the low price 
 Suggested by his avarice. 
 He did a specious offer make 
 Which both our wives agreed to take 
 tie talked so fair, so smoothly too, 
 He wore a mask— he did— this Jew. 
 Beneath this mask deceit did lurk, 
 Enough to make a Jew or Turk, 
 And really, friends, we are afraid 
 He never meant just what he said ; 
 He did not tell the truth— believe. 
 His ami to swindle .(ud deceive 
 I" the proposal that he made 
 About the cow he got in trade, 
 In trade for hay— he had no cash 
 But lots of windbag balderdash. 
 He knew our wives were going away, 
 Ihat when they went they went to stay, 
 And so he shaped his little plan 
 To make it fit this case— sharp man, 
 Whose cunning, crafty, spider brain 
 Was quick to plan for his own gain. 
 This IS the truth in God's own sight, 
 
 i»/-.*u"/ ^,? "^^ *^^^ ^'■°"g would right ; 
 viT u *^^^""&s of resentment strong 
 We hate gross fraud, deceit and wrong, 
 And have this one p' uHar case 
 Upon record resolved to place, 
 This case 'twixt Tait and our own wives, 
 Whom we love better than our Uve?, 
 And this is why, with head and heart, 
 We have resolved to take their part, 
 Kesolved to use our utmost skill 
 To thwart this mean old rascal's will, 
 ^t ,u^ to try " with might and main " 
 I Y tnis old rogue shall never gain 
 . V the expense of our good wives, 
 Whom we ; -e better than our lives. 
 Resolved t ^ try with all our might 
 To make old Tait do what is right 
 
21 
 
 * 
 
 J 
 
 In any way that needs must be, 
 
 By pen, or law, or chivalry. 
 
 But friends, we have not yet told you 
 
 How Tait this wrong first plan'd to do, 
 
 How he proposed to play the game 
 
 With which we find so much to blame, 
 
 A little game, just so to speak, 
 
 Like blindman's buff or hide and seek, 
 
 Sketch'd out and plan'd (we hope in vain) 
 
 In poor wee Johnnie's subtle brain — 
 
 The object that he had in view, 
 
 In what he pledged himself to do. 
 
 He pledged his word, he promised fair. 
 
 We wish that we had made him swear ; 
 
 Not only swear, but write it too. 
 
 Then sign his name, to hold the Jew. 
 
 As slippery as a slimy eel. 
 
 In falsehood clothed from head to heel. 
 
 He pledged his word, he ^id agree 
 
 That if the cow should prove to be 
 
 " Proved in calf," thus did he say, 
 
 He would five dollars extra pay. 
 
 The cow ? ah well, she had a calf. 
 
 And old Tait's promise ? light as chaff. 
 
 Nay, worse than this, as you will see. 
 
 He said he only did agree 
 
 To pay the money (a black lie; 
 
 In case the cow calv'd in July. 
 
 Tait and this lie so nicely fit 
 
 He should a patent get for it. 
 
 And we pray God that we may die 
 
 Before we meet another lie 
 
 Quite big enough to match and mate 
 
 With this one fathered by John Tait. 
 
 But don't suppose our wives were caught 
 
 In such a trap ; they never thought, 
 
 Much less for sure did they agree 
 
 To such a strange absurdity ; 
 
 Where would they be on such a day ? 
 
 Eight hundred miles or more away. 
 
 And we would ask you, honest friend. 
 
 How could they to this thing attend ; 
 
 Thus you will see how old John Tait 
 
 Can cheat and lie — equivocate. 
 
 Poor Johnnie Tait, old Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor cursing, swearing Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old brawling, blairing Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Poor cursing, swearing Johnnie Tait, 
 
 Old Johnnie Tait who bought the cow. 
 
 Of which we have just told you n 
 
22 
 
 Old sneaking, snivelling Johnnie Tait, 
 Poor dawdling, drivelling Johnnie Tait, 
 Old Johnnie Tait, poor Johnnie Tait, 
 Old sneaking, snivelling Johnnie Tait, 
 Whom his own wife did drubncate, 
 A " rolling pin " in her right hand. 
 She did on the " defensive " stand. 
 And with one crack upon the crown 
 She knock't the furious fellow down. 
 And she did well, brave Missus Tait, 
 His lousy back to lubricate 
 With lot's of oak and " elbow grease " 
 To make old Tait just " keep the peace," 
 And now good-bye to this old fraud. 
 We leave him in the hands of God. 
 
23 
 
 McKellar Village. — Lack of space will not 
 permit us to give as full an account of this pretty- 
 little village as we would wish to. Its principal in- 
 dustry is an excellent carding mill and cloth factory 
 under the thoroughly practical and excellent man- 
 agement of Messrs. Batley & Taylor, who deserve 
 the best thanks and exclusive patronage of the 
 settlers in McKellar and surrounding townships 
 for providing them with a home market for one of 
 the best paying productions they can possibly pro- 
 duce — wool. We owe our most heartfelt thanks 
 to Mr. Samuel T. Ritter, Esq., local manager for 
 one of the largest, wealthiest, and best equipped 
 lumber companies doing business in northern Can- 
 ada, the Georgian Bay Consolidated Lumber Com- 
 pany, with mills at Waubaushene, Port Severn, 
 Byng Inlet, and Collingwood. A. M. Dodge, Esq., 
 of the city of New York, is president of this wealthy 
 company. He is a son of the late William E. 
 Dodge, of New York, who was one of the richest 
 and most benignly benevolent and Christian phil- 
 anthropists of the 19th century, and whose name 
 will live in the annals of all coming time as belong- 
 ing to a man who was an ornament and an honor 
 to the human race. James Scott, Esq., of Waubau- 
 shene, is secretary and treasurer. We saw one of 
 this company's deserted lumber camps in the 
 township of Conger, district of Parry Sound, and it 
 was a perfect palace in comparison with the low- 
 roofed, dingy, dirty, dumpy-tailed, dog kennel, hog- 
 pen .sort of a place that we first saw in this line of 
 buildings. Asa rule, the " river drivers " and lumber 
 camp boys of northern Canada are the finest looking, 
 the healthiest, the hardiest, the bravest, the strong- 
 est, and the most active class of young men in the 
 Dominion, and it is only natural that we should 
 feel indignant to think of their being housed like 
 hogs, with no more regard for their health and com- 
 
24 
 
 and all to put a few more pennies into the nurso nf 
 
 s^klnflintTnT^'^ ''""'t' ^"' ^^^^^P'"^ old sc'alfh :ag 
 . skinHtnt, and our righteous indignation will be all 
 
 the more excusable from the fact'that we oursdve 
 
 ?eet I^'^h '°"'' '"^ ^^.'^""^ ^^^•"^' -"d all over s,x 
 feet, at this presuit time in this line of life from 
 their ovvn voluntary choice. The deserted camnT 
 have referred to was the only one we have yeTseen 
 roofed with hand-made shingles. ^ 
 
 We also owe our best thanks to Messrs S Arm 
 strong Esq. M.P.P., Henry Moffat, P.M Dr 'Ham" 
 ilton, Rev. T Snowdm W T r- • a "^"^- 
 
 Moore John ThXonJalJEUrw^Lmtr 
 Humphrey Sheridan, mL N^tta Monaghan Mrs' 
 
 ndii Lr i\. Jiall, William Madigan, E. I Soenrpr ■ 
 I^red Spencer. W. J. Jones, Wm. Lit le, Da,ifel 
 Beagan, George Stewart, Charles Stewar R H 
 
 C 'S'ln "rT'f ^."""■"^- ^^'^'^ ^^«"n'-ng: m" 
 Wm^ Sho ^J^^'-'^\ Armstrong, W. B. Armstrong 
 Wm. Sheridan, Wm. McEwen. John McEwen 
 George Harvey, Peter Harvey. ChaHes Liftle Mr"' 
 E.J^L,ttleN,col Fletcher. B. Hanna, G. B Lee 
 R.S. Jackson, David Patterson, Mrs McFwen' 
 
 ^^wj^'^ij-^:r-^-r^ 
 
 Peter Andrews. Robt. -ALr'ewy H^ety a" S' 
 A. R. McLacklan. James McFee, Wm. Moore, and 
 John Seven.son.whom our friend D. P., of McKel ir 
 styles Happy Jack." Poor innocent ; it does w 
 appear as ,f it took much to make him happy 
 
 A hi;; black bottle of brandy, man, 
 When It comes cheap and handy, man 
 wS? "'l'^V f.*^ '"'"""^^ ^'»^ chew. • 
 
 c u d'"von {::•;" ^''' ''"'^^ '^'^^'^^ ^''^ ■"'^n? 
 
 is Jull of gm and jollity, 
 iou'd say he was a dandy man. 
 
 1 
 
 T 
 
25 
 
 And here also we take off our old hats and make 
 our best bows to Thomas Hudson, one of the 
 pioneer settlers of Hagerman, who led the life of 
 a lonely old bull bachelor for years, while his ^rood 
 wife loitered behind him in England, and came 
 over several years later with her daughter and her 
 son-in-law, our old friend, Mr. James Hargraves to 
 sunshinize Tom's life for a few swiftly fleeting 
 years, and then bid him a long and an everlasting 
 farewell, but she was hardly cold in her grave when 
 Tom blackened his boots with soot from the under 
 side of a stove lid, washed his face, combed out his 
 shaggy locks, put on a clean shirt and his Sunday 
 suit, and hied himself away to McKellar village to 
 hide his tears in the big, broad, bulging bosom of a 
 robust looking, red-faced old feminine female 
 woman sojourning there, to whom he proposed and 
 was accepted, and after a few preliminary and 
 appropriate remarks by a properly authorized func- 
 tionary, took home to his house and heart in the 
 place of his dead wife, and all went well for a while • 
 but he found out at last that " there is no fool like 
 an old fool," that he had "hustled " 2 hastily to his 
 hurt, that he had married in a very hurried way to 
 repent in a very leisurely manner. This was what 
 he told us in substance when we called in at his 
 place on our way to Dunchurch in the fall of '88 
 when we found him alone at his solitary supper in 
 a cramped little kitchen at the rear of his house 
 His first greeting was, "I have been under the pain- 
 ful necessity of sending Mrs. Neely away " " Mrs 
 Ncely ? Who is Mrs. Ncely?" we asked, in unmiti- 
 gated astonishment. He proceeded to explain that 
 he had found out that his wife was really not his 
 wife at all ; that she had a (^rst husband living when 
 she married her second husband, who died and left 
 her.as she herself and every one else thought.a weep- 
 ing widow, a desolate orphan. He also showed us a 
 written agreement signed by him.self and "Mrs 
 Neely " wherein he had agreed to give her one cow, 
 four sheep, three hens, and the speckled rooster that 
 had got three of the toes of hU !;»ft foot and hi^ 
 
MMk»<. 
 
 26 
 
 comb frost bitten, and wherein she on her part had 
 agreed to give him, among other things, the " striped 
 tick, one blanket, one sheet, and the quilt that had 
 the red, white and blue patches on it." We saw Tom 
 the next day at the fall fair in Dunchurch, dressed 
 (for an old man) like a real and genuine Dandy Din- 
 mont Dude, with the only stovepipe hat to be seen 
 on the fairgrounds, a sleek, shiny, low-crowned, old 
 fashioned sort of a thing. He carried a staff or 
 cane in his right hand, while tightly tucked under 
 his left armpit he had something wrapped up in a 
 red-colored cotton handkerchief, which we shrewdly 
 surmised might be a couple of " unlaundried shirts," 
 ■ that he carried round with him to have convenient 
 tor any of his fair female friends whom he might 
 happen to meet at the fair, and who might be will- 
 ing to do a job of washing for him. We also 
 noticed that he had jauntily set his old 18th-century 
 stovepipe hat a little to one side of his head, as he 
 strolled carelessly around casting sheep's, or rather 
 billy goat's eyes, at any pretty girl or single woman 
 he might chance to meet, which led us to suspect 
 that he might have become the fortunate possessor 
 ol the happy, exciting and exultant notion of 
 setting" the said old stovepipe hat for some 
 woman, now that he had discarded poor Mrs. Neely ; 
 but now we must, as in duty bound, tender our 
 most grateful thanks and best acknowledgments foi 
 favors received, to Mrs. L. A. Keleey, whose hus- 
 band, the late George Keleey, Esq., the founder of 
 the remarkably pretty, prosperous and progressive 
 village of Dunchurch, was a notably intelligent, 
 energetic and enterprising gentleman, as Mrs. 
 Keleey is herself quite distinguished for her 
 shrewd business tact and talent. These remarks 
 will also most aptly apply to William Robertson, 
 merchant, and to John Burns, hotel keeper, to 
 whom we also tender our best thanks, as well as to 
 Messrs, Robert H. Calvert, Henry Calvert, Francis 
 uibson, Hugh Gibson, J. H. Bottrel, John Ring. 
 James Hamilton, and Walter Leitch. 
 
 But we should not close this little volume without 
 
2] 
 
 a passing notice of the noble and beautiful city of 
 Toronto, one of the most rapidly growing and sub- 
 stantially prosperous and progressive cities in 
 the Dominion of Canada, of the 19th century. It 
 has more than doubled its size and population in 
 the last ten years, and never before have we noticed 
 such wonderfully strong evidence of its phenomen- 
 ally rapid progress and solid prosperity as this pre- 
 sent season, in the way of the large number of 
 old buildings taken down and being taken down to 
 make room for the erection of palaces in their 
 places, to cost, in the aggregate, several millions of 
 dollars. Toronto is the Queen City of the inland 
 seas of the Dominion, linked together in one great 
 chain by the Welland canal and the St. Clair and 
 Detroit rivers, for its especial benefit. We are glad 
 to have the honor of being able to place a few of 
 its most prominent citizens on the list of our most 
 liberal patrons : Hon. Oliver Mowat, Attorney- 
 General of Ontario ; Hon. T. B. Pardee ; Hon. W. 
 H. Howland, ex-Mayor of Toronto ; Rev. Dr. Wild, 
 one of the most eloquent and celebrated clerical 
 orators in Canada ; Aubrey White, Esq., assistant 
 Commissioner of Crown Lands ; J. D. Murphy, Esq.; 
 J. P. Elliott, E.sq.; Doctor Cochrane; E. M.Morphy, 
 Esq., for the past forty years head of one of the most 
 reliable jewelry and watchmaking wholesale and 
 retail establishments in the city; NeilC. Love, Esq.; 
 Thomas Woodhouse, Esq., one of Toronto's mer- 
 chant princes, and proprietor of one of the largest, 
 the cheapest, and most thoroughly reliable whole- 
 sale and retail dry goods and clothing estab- 
 lishments in Toronto, 123 to 127 King street east, 
 opposite St. James' Cathedral. Neither would we 
 neglect tj notice our kind friend, Mr.s. Robinson, a 
 most worthy and respectable lady, who has for 
 years kept one of the best boarding houses in 
 Toronto at (n Queen street east, opposite the Met- 
 ropolitan Methodist Cathedral (one of the most 
 magnificent aiid beautiful buildings of its kind in 
 this or any other Canadian city), occupying one 
 wht)le square, bounded by Queen. Church. Shntor 
 
28 
 
 and Bond streets. We have often, during the past 
 ten or twelve years, when in Toronto, as occasion 
 required it, resorted to Mrs. Robinson's for one of 
 the best cooked, the cleanest, most substantial and 
 most abundant 15c. meals to be procurable any- 
 where in the city, and in giving this slight testi- 
 mony to Mrs. Robinson's merits, we feel that we 
 are only doing a simple act of justice. 
 
 Esteem, not unmixed with a flavoring of grati- 
 tude, prompts us to put in a good word for three of 
 the most useful and prominent citizxns of Toronto 
 Messrs. J.W., Thomas, and George Bengough, 
 three brothers, ail in the literary line and kindred 
 crafts. 
 
 J. W. Bengough, the genial, giant-geniused 
 editor of Canada's great illustrated comic paper, 
 Grip, the most impartial and independent weekly 
 journal published in Canada, who richly deserves 
 the approval and the patronage of every sincere 
 lover of his country, of every true patriot in Can- 
 ada's long and wide Dominion. 
 
 Thomas Bengough, proprietor and principal of 
 one of Canada's most important educational insti- 
 tutions, the Shorthand Institute and Canadian 
 Busmess University, Public Library Building, 
 Church street, Toronto, is a gentleman worthy of 
 all the patronage it may be possible for the young 
 men of Canada who may wish to obtain a thor- 
 oughly practical business education, to give him. 
 
 Mr. George Bengough, 47 King street cast, is 
 general agent for the Remington typewriter. This 
 wonderful machine has been on the market for 
 fifteen years and is still far in advance of any com- 
 petitor. At the great competition held in Toronto 
 last fall, operators on this machine carried' off the 
 gold and silver medals, the first and .second prize 
 for dexterity in writing correspondence and legal 
 matter. ^ 
 
 He is also agent for the " Neostyle," by means of 
 which, from one original executed in ordinary long- 
 hand or on the typewriter, 2,000 copies or upwards 
 may be obtained. 
 
29 
 
 If the reader would like to see any of these ma- 
 chines in operation, I can guarantee them a 
 courteous reception. 
 
 Toronto, June 2^th, i8Sg. 
 
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