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Those too large to be entirely included in one exposure are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, as many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: 1 2 3 Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre filmfo d des taux de reduction diff^rents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour Stre reproduit en un seul clich6, il est film6 d partir de I'angle sup^rieur gauche, de gauche d droits, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images n6cessaire. Les diagrammes suivants iilustrent ia mdthode. 1 2 3 4 6 s\ l^ ti I \\ ITEMS: (In Life of an Usher) OK TRAVEL, ANECDOTE AND POPULAR ERRORS. Bt one in Betibement. 1 *'-. In changing shadows Aitttag there. From dirk and dull to bright and fair : if s^my friends, perhaps "^twould be, Prudent in you, as weU as me, ForSwlng up some wrong impression. MONTREAL, CANADA. 1850. 1 N< I TO THE READER. As prefaces are about the last things read/nay many make a merit of never reading thorn at all, I do not therefore trouble you with one, but a few explanatory words on two or three points — first, that of our various and never-ending popular errors, I notice those only that bear on my subject by faUing in my way. The medium chosen for conveying these Items, you may probably deem singular, for whoever heard, or, if perchance hearing, takes any interest in the life of an Usher, that most despised and rejected of men who, after getting all that we possibly can out of him, then desert and neglect, in much the same way that we throw aside the shells, after rifling their contents, of our testaceous fish. Leaving this subject to your more serious reflections, I secondly observe — my rule in this production has been to introduce facts with as few remarks as possible, obviously that you may make them for yourself, which, if too indifferent to under- take, or careless about doing, 'tis neither my province nor inclination to do for you. Lastly, amongst the variety of these Items, there are two that I would more immediately recommend to your attention, from the vast amount of error they are intended to correct, and the great labor and research they have occasioned me in gathering, namely — the English Church and Irish affairs. I M I Wf' I > '- ' ij. AK'A'n V'" ITEMS, ETC Fbom my Beoludedand sedentary habitB, when or where I was bom is of no importance, of the fact itself there can be no doubt, whatever may arise as to time or place : I have some claim to the nonors of Bow-bell, from my mother visiting London just before my birth, but retumea, a few -reeks after, to her residence in Wilts, so retired that one day, in my fifth year, taking a picture paper f^om off her dressing table and strolling to the cnurchyard» having a footpath through it, pinn'd it on the church-door, close to the path, then chasmg a butterfly, left it there forgotten. Some days after, seeing a similar paper in my mother's hand, I requested her to give it me, replying on being asked what I would do with it if she did, " Pin it on the church-door," adding the foregoing, of which thlB reminded me : thereupon leaving hastily and repairing to the church, near our house, soon returned with said pictuie paper from off the church-door, where it had remained ever since, and which I then learnt to be a bank-note for £20. As few of us in our infancy love to be instructed in the rudiments of learning, so I remember on beginning my alphabet, stoutly denying all knowledge of A, in hopes 'twould relieve me from any with B, and every other mem- ber of that much-dreaded company, and well may they be so, since one fellow assumes as many characters as he pleases, and another changes his just as whim dictates or the maggot bites ; a legerdemain boldly practising in France, as they so impudently do here, and, as to that matter, througn all Europe as well. Fry's Fantographia contains every known alphabet, with dissertations on each letter, the invention ot which Erepolemus ascribes to Enoch, Cyprian to Noah, Philo to Abraham, and others to about as many as the stars. Setting aside tne large contributions of other languages to our own, we have the English, the Scotch, the Gaeu<^ the Welsh, and the Irish languages, which makes its attainment insuperable to foreigners. Then as to dialects. a ITEMS. every country averages 1600, and the provinces their isms : amongst the most peculiar are those of Yorkshire, Lanca- shire, Northumberland, and Cumberland : the agrarian of Worcestershire is incomprehensible to him of West- moreland; and another of either at a loss before the metropolitan : if ^ou address an operative near Cambridge in tolerable English, the chances are that you are not only unintelligible, but regarded as a Cantab sporting some unknown tongue. The dialects or rather twangs of Scot- land are equally varied. An Aberdeen loon is a perfect Kangaroo to him of Glasgow ; and your Paisley " buddy** opens his mouth in vain before a brother of Tweeddafe. The Irish, when they do speak English, are more uniform, their main difficulty being the accent. Thus the five distinct languages in use amongst us, diverge into so many dialects niat it would be endless to repeat them : every alien, moreover, that would obtain some knowledge of our tongue, omitting its affectation of refinement, must be sadly puzzled to understand our Implying a plural when using the singular, and vice versa, not com- prehending our choice of were and is in the phrases — If ne were there — The wages of sin is death : our Fathers, indeed, dealt with them differently, but their descendants have decided otherwise, since, saying nothing of grammar, one is now called obsolete and the other vulgar. On reaching my seventh year, she who gave me being resigned her own : a loss that I shall ever deplore as the severest of my life; though released from those restraints so unwelcome to the young, and courted by other pleasures than the bam, field and mill, or niy waggon drawn by Jowler, still my mother had my best arfections and absorbed them all : hence, I felt no happier moments than those spent alone in the dormitory of our church, beneath the altar whereof now lay in peace her attenuated form. It stands, off the bridle road, in a sequestered dell, surrounded by a grove of ancient elms, whilst here and there, in its lap of earth for the village dead, the yew and willow shed around a pensive shade, heightened by the ivy mantling its windows, and reaching the summit of its venerable tower. Aside it is the vicarage, an albine pile of chaste simplicity, harmonizing sweetly with its well-kept lawn, as woodbine and honeysuckle wind up its porch, round its laticed casements, and o'er the lowly roof, which seen through openings of the surrounding shrubberies, raise feelings within you that win upon the senses and steal to the heart. Here my delight was to linger and contem- ITEMS. • Slate tho emblems that speak, or ought, to all men living. >n the seventh day, soon as our church-bells chimed on the air, I wended my way to their consecrated walls, where, enclosing myself in tho family pew, commanding the tomb of my departed mother, seemed intent on my ritual, but communing in secret with her much-loved remains, lulled bv tho charm of the Sabbath-bells, and hallowed by the place ever sacred to the dead. Here let me pause, for on such a subject, and so expressed, what will the world say ? Pshaw! it has few, if any, claims to respect, and deservedly contemned by tho good and wise, since caring as much for or about them as the sod beneath their feet or dirt on which they tread. I was placed at school near Devizes : my master, though many are unfitted to rule anything but their copy-books, was an able teacher and muen respected ; so smitten with Ceesar's Commentaries, always on his desk, as to equal that of their reputed author, I say reputed because as- signed to Hirtius, or his friend Oppius, who regarded the Gaulio as the same as that of ancient Britain, found to be an island in A.D. 85. He called himself the son of a Bath merchant draper, videlicet, master tailor, because of the ridicule on that craft, rebuked by our statutes, with three chapters on button-holes; besides an indebtedness for Non nobis Domhie, in their Hall, July 16, 1607. Speed the historian, Stowe the antiquarian — I abominate anti- Juarjr— and Sir J. Hawkwood of Hedineham, a hero at 'oietiers, were also tailors ; whilst even in se^-estceming Spain, or country of rabbits, the arms of her chief Grandee, the Marquis Santiago are emblazoned with sheers, because founded by a tailor. The infantine lisp of Tah or phrase, < phy, saying nothing of Hart's clever one of 1666. But the most unique, and seemingly unknown, is Dr Jones* "Prac- tical Phonography, 1704.^ The BuUokars, under Elizabeth, published amendments in Orthography, but her Secretary, Sir T. Smith, reduced it to system. Peacham's ** Complete ^ ITEMS. Oontleman, 1661/' furnished Johnson's definition of bla- lonry, and Holmes' Armori^ Academy, 1688, suggested his admirable preface, afterwards reduced to writing haUads and penny speeches, hence the superiority of tiiose productions abore any of that class in our time. These pioneers in the formation of our langui^e, though almost eclipsed by the lofty pretensions of their desodndants, should occupy a place in every library, but especiallv a teacher's. Your little wits are yery fond of exercising their rocation on dictionary makers, but harmlessly enough against any one but themselves, since all that it effects excepting the waste of time and materials, is the mere dirolay of their own littleness. n these subjects be simple — Query — ^the scenes and occasions which begat them are without doubt so, but in the seclusion of a village it is unusual to meet with the wisdom of the city. Such were my trippings, thanks to the barbarous terms by which qur sciences are so dis- figured, as if it were the intention of their professors to close every avenue to their approach : we need none of these ihelps from foreign fripperies, and least of all such helps as these innovators would give us. A language, like our own, so fickle in its orthography, must not criticise others for lack of perfection, nor can it be expected that our people should oe faultless, so long as their teachers thus abound in error. After leaving school, I spent three years at home before embarking on that most perilous of all voyages — the voyage of life. Alas I how few of us in after times, when pondering o'er the years that have left us, can do so with- out emotion, the escapement of a sigh, or throe from the heart. Those years were spent amongst my books, the pencil, and agrarian amusements over the grounds of my father, who, I then began to discover ♦ ♦ * * there is a point at which patience being exhausted decision must take its course — ^heretofore my situation might be said to have been happy, but now became doubtful, which was not diminished, by the place of my own being supplied by a mother-in-law, who, however it might have been my duty to respect, 'twas impossible I could love. Moved by these considerations, I repaired to my favorite seat in our garden, and with my knees crossing each other, whilst one hand rested on my friend Jowler, and the other a memorial of my mother, cast sad and pensive glances at each, as meditating in silence on my present position. When memory, wearied with musing o'er the past, looks ITEMS. 9 tfinition of bla- 1688, suggested Bed to writing iriority of those r time. These , though almost ir desoendants, »ut especiaLlva d of exercising rmlessly enough 1 that It effects Is, is the mere the scenes and Loubt so, but in t meet with the tings, thanks to ices are so dis- ir professors to 9 need none of east of all such A language, like ist not criticise e expected that ) their teachers at home before 1 voyages — the [ter times, when an do so with- tlu'oe from the my books, the groimds of my * * there .usted decision Ituation might iame doubtful, my own being it might have I could love. Ito my favorite jing each other, f, and the other jensive glances isent position. he past, looks forward to the future, and if, in the retrospect, there be ought Uiat can soothe it into sympathy, or beguile it of its cares, how eagerly do we invite it to our kindliw affections! How insensibly linger on the joys of our childhood, whiehj like others that have long since departed, to return again no more, shine brighter and more sweetly in proportion to their distance. They are as the eyelids of the morning, or first flowers of spring, lovely it is true* but then, alas! hew short-lived and fleeting! My reflec- tions were sorrowful and cheerless, verging, like some blighted hope, on a termination as desolate, since it wqa there that I made up my mind to leave the paternal roof— a roof that was now, on many accounts, irksome^- nevertheless this cost me many pangs to accomplish; for the abode of our earlier years, how much so ever it may embitter the sweet emotions that possess us, is still where we drew our first breath, and was never yet quitted with- out anguish or a sigh : a certain look behind — ^lingering and long — ^hard to bo conceived, certainly so expressed-<- that no tongue can utter nor any pen describe. I was soon after found in ^London, where I became intimate with a Mr R , whom detraction left destitute ere yet of age, which, had he forgotten a higher power, must soon have made him what those maligners desired : he bore this trial with calm resignation, going on his way in uncomplaining silence, but abstracted from that world which had so early shown its frailty and weakness. One of the chief ornaments to our metropolis, passing all itB dignities with unsullied reputation, now gatherea to his fathers, originated an imprudence which drove him firom his native place. Ultimately he arrived in London, where^ from the humblest offices, he gradually rose to the highest distinctions : whilst living he was honoured, and when dead lamented. Such a character i i the hands of the world, would have been lost to. society and himself. U we were as zealous in concealing, as we are in exposinfl^ a first false step in others, 'twould be the means, mu repel inToden. le beleaguering saten mopstick) ts, (tarr'd sabk , the mass anear IB grimly as a ling the court* to the ward«n'B id bumby) and eer cask) afore bridge.'' Here ind in the third in barracks at ccasioned by a ished rats who small aperture, Dg no mischief ler vacation, by London Road, ham Nunhead, etween whiqh tellated villa ating, in his g, as to take ered around nly whimsical t shows how the most im. lid and written )r no success, lee no cause to les, and if any rime was, ana sp interest in confess, they led }fy apieee le came led ^iv I lid 6l^€ to prepare lunper : my expectations like those of a hungry dog before a oakev's oven, were quickly raifed^ to be,Iike his, as quickly laid, for in came something }&» than an ounce of Suffolk cheese, about as much bread rather of the stalest, uid a battered tin pint ot coloured water representing beer. Whilst regaling on these dainties, I had symptoms of the eel wriggling in a stew-pan over a slow nre, then retired to my chamber, a back attic of small dimensions, furnished with one three-legged chair without a back, minus room or side carpet, wash-lumd stand, bason or ewer. Any table? Ko, but a wideish deal board, glued on two sticks forming the frame and legs, nailed to the wall, served as one. Any thing else ? No, except my couch, an old packing case revened, sus- taininff an elderly rat-holed hop-bag crammed with hay or Moorneld's horsehair. After a brief survey of these luxuries, with my heart light as a feather? no, a mill- stone, I crept into said snuggery. As there was no business before breakfast, the minors only yet appearing after recess, I took this meal solus, which bemff the counterpart of my supper, therefore became breakfast and Co. Soon after occupying the schoolroom, Junior A entered with a bundle of writing books which, until fag arrived, he hoped I would prepare for an adjacent seminary. I stared — ^this was respectability and master- ship with a vengeance. Revise and scan girls scribbling books! their emoluments perhaps reaching the enormity of one penny per lesson, saying nothing of the honour t *< Delightful task to rear the tender thought, and teach the young idea how to shoot." Fudge! All the harm I wish you Master Thompson, for clapping that, simile in such a place is, that you had first clapt yourself there lor one short week only, and I'd wager my ears you would then have made a very different kind of fiourish about delightful tasks and young ideas. My looks. I suppose were withering, certainly my words were few, but to the purpose : he took both as he ought, and gathering up the Dooks, withdrew too soon for me to enlarge on the luxuries of my entertainment or elegancies oiinj chamber. Alas ! for those ill-fated beings who flee to a tutorship for help and protection ! when. suffering; from a like cause ourselves, we are in a right frame of mmd for sympathis- ing with others. In most first rate SQ^ools,, of which this was an imitator, their assistant' masters,, alwag^s Ojxcepting foreigners, agreeably to the folly of* our nation, are not received into the; dom^ti^ cardie, of the principal, being 19 ITEMS. tmted, with jQtt ^ DMioh respeot as if poiBeuing about at many feelinn tm his hoiue-dog or tom-oat. Thia lo ohanoterisea a late eminent one, witli several othen I co^ld name, as to be the cause of their decay, since no master of repute would enter them : if both parties may sometimes be to blame in this matter, this oertaiidy is noli the means for 'amendment, rather aftw the prac^e of the ancient Jews, who on a progress of rerorm amongst neighbouring nations, put them either to the sword or cast them in the sea. The large private school at E S , for which its successor gave £10,000, is the only instance that I know, though I have heard of others else- where, of a separate house for the masters, which is so far proper, that if its Lama can exist only in the fumes of his own greatness, it at least evinces some respect for the stars that twinkle near him. Hie Junior A preserved sketches in the flies of his Murray and Wolkingame, as to the foregoing event and visit to Qoldsmith House, Peckham, so named luPter Dr Goldsmith, three years usher there to Dr Millman, during which ^e planned many of the scenes and characters of his future works : as, in the restive pauses of retiring and assembling classes, he was wont to bury his head within his opened desk and commit something hastily to paper, which at length attracted the Doctors attention, who intimating upon a slip of paper, that when the mind is permitted to indulge m extraneous objects, those of the present are apt to be neglected, wrapt the same round a quill, then sent it, with his compliments, to Ooldsmith, who, no doubt, meant to profit from it, a resolution, h($w- eyer, much easier made than kept, for one unlucky day, after scribbling a few hurried lines, he was seized with so violent a fit of laughter as amazed the whole school: remonstrance arose, altercation ensued, and resignation followed. " Of all the professions," writes this eminent man, " I know not a more honorable one than that of a schoolmaster, at the same time I do not see any more generally despised, or less rewarded." For the scene of is Deserted village, which I discovered before leaving England, vide M.P. 146. Adams' tried to claim Dr Shebbeare's " Jenning's the Eene^»de Schoolmaster of Parson's Green detected." Like Virgil consuming salt- as we do snuff, he ate witJi everything, coveting a union with Lot's wife after becom- ing a pilliu; of salt ! which Josephus says he saw, affirmed by Iren 1 1 I 10,000 in Perr's Hiitory of Fnmeei or Lord Lyttlatoifit of 18 pages in Henry II., whose Letters on English History were written by Qoldsmith in Islinstoi^: his nebhew, aged 73, now keeps a threepenny school in Great Peter l^eet, Westminster, after the manner of the parent cramming his child with i^ the quackeries of our adrert tising ones, or loading hiiiki with neary weights, heedlen if he can bear or his future riews require them — ^when, like the Indian, you cannot drink of the lakes, forbear, I entreat you, from dipping into puddles. Nowabout my printer rdceired a heavy order, on which, in conjunction with a relative, I advanced, but a non- conformist sweeping broomfleld before its completion, engulphed our investment. This much distressmg my relative, induced me to hand him a check to soften ito impression, which, however, he requited so ungratefully as severed the connexion. Another, because from a Sud- den rise in the Funds I realised £400 from my investment, secretly denounced me as a gambler, without my knowing a single game of cards or chance. A third, upon my taking^ a glass of ale preceding tea, privilly insinuated I was intemperate, a character so much my aversion as not to have enacted even once in my life. If investigating similar charges against others, we might often find them reared on similar foundations, but no, that would not suit the baser passions of our nature, which delight in pander- ing to the vicious appetite of others, as those others do to a censorious world. Evil report travels on easles' wings, whilst its refutation not only has no wings at all, nor con- veyance of any kind, but is commonly lost in luke-warm attempts after either: in the language of the amiable Archbishop Tillotson, found written on a bundle of pam- Fhlets and papers after his decease, " These are libels ; pray_ God to forgive the writers, as I do.'* A bit of my cacoethes scribendi required visits to econo- mical coffee-houses, introduced by Carrol of Covent Garden Market, in 1812 : on my last, another bespoke, " The Times after the last gentleman," whereupon a little fellow begrimm'd like a sweep, answered " I'm the last gentel'em." A second slip of ebony shouted, *< A cup of coffee, sweet and well milk'd, with half a toast, crisp and butter'd on both sides," engaging two periodicals then in hand : when brought, he observed the lamps wanted trimming and the fire fuel, negociated for the Herald, asked alter the evening papers, and nodded next for Gobbit: his order came to three pence. The keeper ITEMS/ 21 assured me that when any customer took credit for a cup and slioe^ or another for a cup only, he saw neither again, and if a third similarly credit^ , left a deposit above the value of his score, the same ret. alt followed. The proprietor of coffee-rooms in St. Martin's Le Grand realising several thousands, lost them by building a large showy concern, illustrating the Irish apothegm, on mean- ing evil to another, « May the spirit of ouilding come over him." The Leopard Goffee-House, Southwark side of Old London Bridge, being wanted for the approaches to the new, the owner received, by award from a Jury, £900 as compensation, before whom this item appeared : " I cut 18 rounds of toast from a brick quartern loaf, which, at 3d. per toast, produces 4s. 6d., and allowing for materials j a profit of 3s. 6d." At Humell's, Houndsditch, 1512 cups were served Dec. 2, 1840. The most respectable in the city, is Gibson's, Bucklersbury, and in the West, Pam- philon's. Taylor in Barbican, first doled coffee at a penny Ser cup. In others Eastward, one Brown takes pencil kenesses for 3d. and colored 6d. ** The character of coffee-houses, 1666 :" do. 1673: do. « Vindicated, 1676 :" attest their literary bearing : the first proclamation against them, because the nucleus of false intelligence, form the most remarkable of Charles II.'s reign. Too many encour- age publications of an immoral and irreligious tendency, which are scouted by all but the vile and vicious. I entered Mr. Oliver's establishment Eastham, Essex, the ensuing Christmas, which St. Clement places two years before ours, and kept for two centuries, says Epiphianus, on the 18th of November : W. de Worde s, 1621, were our first carols. The fathers tell us that, pri- mitively, different missions of our Lord (written) were used by different churches, of St. Mark there were 200 versions, and the rest 55, all varying : to reconcile them a council was convened, but not agreeing, they placed ^e whole on an altar, then, securing the door, retired for the night : upon entering in the morning all had fallen to tha floor save a select few, which were received and form our Now Testament; the Apocryphal one was printed at Oxford in Greek, and has been translated by various persons. This may surprise many, but such tests were then received as interpositions of Providence, nay, only a few years back an eminent Judge amongst us, on meeting with a difficulty, decided it by the dice 1 What therefore may be received in one generation as authentic, shall very probably be rejected in another as dovbtful, which, saying S2 ITEMS. nothing about agdnoy, should- caution as how we gnestionr bygone events because they assume the marreUous or incredible. Qn arriving at my new abode, formerly a peer^s* Mr Principal, a resuscitated Dr Slop, or Burton, author of Monasticon Eboracense, dilated, till, bed-time, on his mctvare-eskwe whereabouts and dreariness of the- season, being a sort of wild man in the schools, not of the Abipones who vegetate on grass. Next morning in the schoolroom I met a figure in a weaver's jacket, brown paper strung round legs forming splendid things for crooked streets, or turning a comer, as an operative's cap adorned his caput, the chin, and thereabouts, resembling a Whitechapel bird-catcher's : lo 'twas Dominus 1 After his stable and woodhouse duties, ho was finishing on the craniums of his pupils, consigning all incumbrances to the slop-pail, into which had he first consigned himself, he might possibly have exhibited a clean face. Once avex- sleeping myself, he roused me abruptly for making the bed» accomplismng it expeditiously as Philipides running from Sparta to Athens (157 miles) in two days. Puzzling over Walkingame on the Twenty Eights, he ejaculated " I shall go out of my mind." No great feat, bry the way, seeing the premises were singularly small, litis lady, asking why a Frenchman was also a Gaul ? (or Tellow^haired) he replied, "Because its people tuaa so bitter in their temper*, as to liken'em to gall; when time took out a hel and clapt in a hew." Defying Fox's ** Battle Door for Singular and Plural," by thus breaking Priscian's head, a grammarian of 625. His cards con- cluded with ** Each young gentleman to brine 6 towels, a silver desert spoon, knife and fork with Viem. Changing corps (kore) an armed force, into corpse, a dead body, ignorant that our repugnance to one onginated the other. His misaspiration of h, like all low Londoners, is an error their bettor educated sometimes commit, and our Spellin* arians fall into, one of whom against Soothsaying, writes it ariolation or Variolation. This error is not peculiar to Londoners, for the Germans and Flemings pronounce w like V, and v like the letter /, whilst Cicero (Ora. 48) complains, and Catullus (C. 83) perpetrates an epigram on tne same sulnect. The orthography of pulcher, tri- umphus, and Conors, was then substituted for pulcer, triumpus, and coors, which, with that of Gracchus and Bacchus, was eradually accepted. The Italians generallv lehve out h at me beginning of words because not soundeo* nxMfi. 28 aBd.luHrdly etor reoogniied as an independent duurMteir. AnltaliWk meeringly teUins a Hollander, that vlien God tbnut Adam out of Paraaiso> he spoke High Dutch. ** Aye," retorted Mynheer, « but if God spokeXHutch when Adam was expelled, Eve spoke Italian when he was dooeived," ** Frith" said Oliver on pricking Forth, at mappings *< indicates fear, cause the sea dashmg into a rirer uiffhta ii-.- and — " here he was up a stump or poied: and at SMfkU temum ** Aye, that s a sermon in Spitalfield's church," instead of charitahle one, from Spikd an alms- house or hospital, hut Spitalfield's church is so named from standi]^ on << The Spitale Fyelde," vide an ancient map in Guildhall library : Saxton s first collection, 1579, will repay inspection. His Theologium and Adversarium were good though never reading one or looking into the other, but appearing to do so answered his purpose with the million. He might possibly cull another wonder from the double rule of twoj by Johnny Raw, who, though we consider twice four to be eight, maintains twice four tt two. He usually closed a subject of this sort with the following scraps from a book-stall in the Minories — site of the Minor Convent — " People now live by their talents* and a precious living they make of it, whereas they used to live, and very comfortably too, by their hands and , feet." The other *' Oration against the learned languages* showing they are not only useless but dangerous." Bur- man, 1724, which title answering his purpose, he shut the book, not troubling himself about the contents like many critics in our time, saying, " Fm of that opinion too, fat what's the use of them chaps that prate so much about their laming? why about as much as them Greek. and Latin fellers in Universities, who'r always quarrelling over printers and translators blunders." " He piqued himself on the hone and strap, vulgo strop, being formerly a perepatetic razor-grinder I a certam Essex L.L.D. once known in Whitechapel as a hawker of sprats (from Hawks, birds seeking their prey where they can find it) became Principal of a large boarding school, sported an elegant chariot, and bequeathed a handsome fortune. We cannot sufficiently admire the wisdom of our ancestors, who, before any school could be opened, in order to test its master's efficiency, insisted on his exami- nation by the parish clergyman, then approved by the diocesan Bishop, but as every one nowadays knows as much as any Bishop, and something more thw his clergy, \ 24 ITEMS. '"1,,.,., m # he wants iit>&4 of their help on inch oocwitoni i mMi^ inglv learning and intelligence neter were 00 1^ in 6tat aeaaemies afad seminariee. On hearing the Spirtaiit charged in battle to the Dorian sound of fltitea and tibfb riHk>raerS) he turned flutist, and imagined' himself a mtlsC- but blundered sadly at the score, as confoundbtj; cian. Prosody, and its airs Prosodies, with Prosody of another sort. He occasionally enlarged on the wars of the giants, wondering at their absence in our day : most counsels believe in the existence of a former race of giants wh|di» if not obviously originating, may in some measure arise Arom their ignorance of geology and comparative anatomy. And was often so absent as to call for his pen and speis- tacles, when one was behind his ear, and the other on hte nose ; almost as bad as Gorvinus, the orator, who forgot his own name ; or the first Lord Lyttleton, who falhne into the water ornamenting his grounds at Hagley^ sahfc twice before recollecting he could swim. Springing from those vulgar fractions of Society caUed radical, the aproned statesmen and great lights of every factory, he was bitterly set against the established order of things; and as much so against every one his superior or at all above him. Hence his toast, "To the little gentleman in velvet," meaning the mole which caused King William's horse to stumble and endanger his life, therefore greatly eulogised Cromwell, a tithe of whose doings would have detbroned any legitimate sovereign. On the dethronie- mept of Louis XVI., some six state prisoners were dis- covered in the Bastile, but r pon the downfall of Buonaparte, fijti/ thomand werd found in the prisons of France f He admired " The Black Book," an acmrate account of sine'- cures and pensions, of which take a sample : against the Duke of Richmond is £12,000, paid to him for nothing, as therein stated, but the real facts are these, the Diue's ancestors held a grant of 6d. >n every chaldron of coal entering London, which grant was sold, in 1800, to th^ government for an annuity of £12,000, its annual con- sumption is now 3,000,000 chaldrons, which amountis to £75,000, so that the country gains, and the Duke loses, £63,000 every year ! This original was as much smitten with holiday pieces and every nostrum of that sort, as any urchin of his copy- slip on first entering loin-hand : thus a fortnight precM- ing vacation would be lost in preparing for the piece-book ; the contents of which, after retouching by the official, are of difficult recognition to the owner. Pieces may do wisll nvpB* u enough amongi^ toy-struck plebeianttbut we qwite-put oC place elsewhere. He also had his set exaiqinatioiM, ttdiibitions, recitationg, and mott other ehifts to vhji^ pseudoes resort for concealing their deficiencies, so uiuU versally the scape-goat of glorification Yankees, 'where some novelty appears every new moon, as their blind needeth help Mid the lame crutches, no ^ood school practices these mummeries, and even an inferior is begin- ning to be ashamed of them. I used to be amused at the stare of astonishment from pwsons in the old Boyal Exchange, when gazing at Langford and Genery's orna- mental writing decoratmg its walls, believing them to be the genuine productions of the pen, when in reality the union of many arts, led by drawing and painting, and iliat months have been devoted to one solitary sheet; like Billingsley^s quarto copy book, well enough to look at, but fit for nothing else. Lan^ord made a consider- able fortune from his academy and publications, Haydon Square, Minories, on which he retired some years before his death ; whilst Genery sold his at the Grove Mile End, in preference for private teaching, producing him £1000 a year. The fame of the celebrated Cocker, once so high in caligraphy, is now of little or no account. To wnte like an angd originated witii Angela Vergerio, an Italian practising in Paris, 1520. A simple, large^text character will improve more than any other which, if adopted, we should have some chance of deciphering the signatures of our public functionaries, which 'tis a hard matter to do, apart from the dictum of fiuhion, whose members wouldn't for the world write in a hand that any one could read. The town has of late years^ teemed with a new order of writing masters, who promise to anybody unable to write, a very beautiful hand in six lessons, which took mightily at first, but, like all other <]^uackeries, is now dying ofT, if notde^ct. Brother Jonatnan, who is a great snapper up of trifles, was much smitten with this one, and of the many letters I received in his country, verily thought to be from the same person till observing the signature ; a feature which destroyed the system. Neveruieless, setting quackery aside, the simplicity of the art, as practised in our time, far surpasses that of the olden period, the ancient monastic scribes using upwards of a hundred different hands. As the doldrums of our new-light men then bore sway, Oliver, whom they drifted like a feather before the wind, changed the memory syllibication of his students into the tFBMLB. Pope Joan method of ^u^tion and takvwer : to produce good, or indeed any fruit at all from the seed wnlch irie sow, we must plant it in the earth, not scatter it on the surface. My prospects of usefulness were therefore dieer- lesB — ^for teaching nad now assumed a feature of surpassing strangeness ; a master must either know or do, else pre- tend to know or do a great deal in erery thing ; he a sort of talking Encyclopcedia, or finger-post of knowledge, that his pupils may prate on many things without knowing any thmg; like attempting Germpn text with a single line pen. Or Italian a large hand one, and against which this sarcasm is lerelled : " Pray, Sir, what is your helief?* asks the master. " Please, Sir, I believes in nothing,'* replies his pupil. ** Yea, Sir, but you do, you believe in the holy Catholic church." "No, Sir: please Sir, the boy that believes in that has the measles at home, and I've got his seat.'* My predecessor the Rev. W. Barwick's wife ruining his haj^piness and fortune, a separation ensued : his friena Burvivmg two similar wives, thus epitaphed them in Chatham churchyard — « The Lord gave and hath taken away, blessed be his name :" and " I called upon the Lord and he delivered me out of my trouble." He then turned academic, which gentlemen may do without descending or an outlay, and contributor to the Lmdon press, whose literary payments exceed £1000 weekly. His abilities were good, but mode of exerting them objectionable, besides our classical master was expected to assist in the mathematics, which, like most others, he could not. He claimed descent from Richard III., though his last descen- dant died on Sir T. Moyles estate, Eastwall, 1600 : Richard first printed Parliamentary proceedings in English, whose character Sir G. Buck, 1646, endeavoured to set right, which is now resuming ; much whereof rests with Shaks- peare : hence the mischief of historical dramas, unless got up with truthfulness, which it is notorious they never are. This pi^uce originated our emblem of the crown in a hawthorn bush ; fighting with his crown on, it fell o^f and, on finding, was secreted in a hawthorn bush, which on discovering, by Lord S\;anley, was placed upon Henry*s head : hence this deiyice on Hemys tomb in Westminster; Barwick sOparated his pupils intotwo ditision8,'beefttid^ Epaminondas conquered at Mantinea, b}r breaking the centre, which, in nautical fights, was originated by J, Clark, Eldin, Scotland, and first tried by Lord Itoduey. ITEMS. 27 Until my arrival, Mr B was supplied by Mr Bewick, rcdative to the eminent wood-engraver, whose cut for, a Newcastle paper has produced a million impressions! because worked the same as types, but a copperplate in another, that wearing the surface soon impairs it. He had been a Moorfleld's barker, before that once cele- brated furniture mart bowed before the moloch of bricks and mortar. PhenS, whose warerooms abut upon Old London Wall, is the last representative of the shorn honors of the Fields, in which large fortunes have been made, and he, dying lately, left a similar to his son, who continues the firm. Its old four quarters were given by two sisters for beautifying and improving the city. This tutor's cousin, the late Sir W. Rawlins, also an eminent Moorfields broker, and Alderman of Bishopsgate Ward, ordered, by will, that the common council of his Ward should walk round his tomb, in Bishopsgate Churchyard, on his birthday, be afterwards invited to an elegant din- ner, and each, at his departure, presented with a guinea. Deputy-Bewick, saying nothing of others, had a way of his own in abusing the word Wrath, as if written rath ; and on my questioning its accuracy, he consulted Walker, and said that 'twas there pronounced rath, with a nume- ral ; which numeral, I relied, over the vowel a, gives it the open sound of o, proving you to be wrong : I seldom notice these slips because of the unthankfulness and diffi- culty in correcting offenders : moreover, how few are made to understand this subject before leaving school, and it does not often happen that they have either leisure or inclination to do so s^terwards. Our village church was as rural as if a hundred instead of six miles from town: occasioni^y attendii.g that of Stratford, or street over the water, the common bake- house of London in 1448, there being then no baker in the city : the large school of Mr Burford, curate, made an imposing appearance in its gallery, but has since passed away. I should never select Essex for a j^ermanent residence on account of its marshy tendencies, illustrated b^ a farmer in the lowlands selecting a wife from the highlands, who, on bringing home, soon sickened and died, which happened to nineteen others in succession! Eastham Churchyard has an epitaph on a wealUiy but- cher — Thii world's a city— Ailed with lane and ittreet. Death the market-place where all men meet — If life wer^ merchandize which men could bur. The riim would liv«r-wme but the pooir would die. ITEM8. Wh<»ii DomlnuB aooompanied us to ohuroh, he doaed» after the second lesson, in a corner of his hi^h-panneled {>ew. This is Just the sort of man to talk of reformation n Ohnrch and State, with all the acrimony of democracy. "Satan," says Oount Maistr^s Journal, '*is a regular De- mocrat, not like him of Athensj but those of Puis." As a person was once speaking of such a refolrmation in our church as would make it no church at all. Lord Bacon remarked, " Sir, the subject you talk of is the eye of Eng- land, if there.be a speck or two in the eye, we endeavour to tskke them off; he would be a strange oculist that would pull out the eye." Recommending Forbes « On Incre- dulity in Religion." When a distrnguished Frenchman had finished his tour in England, he was asked by Afr Colquhoun, M. P., " what in the course of your progress, has chiefly attracted your attention ?* <* Three remark- able things," he replied, '' a spirit of love of country, that we in France may share ; but there is that of which we have no trace — there is in England a lore of monarchy and of national religion." Bewick soon after the affair of the Dictionary — ^the Chinese forming 119 volumes, and their Encycloptedia of 6000, abridged into 450 1 repaired to NeWmarket and rode for the King's plates, furnished from a legacy of £l368 a Tear, by a lover of the turf, at the disposal of the King, hence their name ; their object being to encourage the breed of horses. He believed himseLf of noble descent, because Charles and Ann's nobility sent their linen to Holland to be washed, a penchant he entertained with- out the means of gratifying. College of Arms, what say you to this ? though, as you have already decided that small hands and ears are criterions of nobility in the ani- mal man as a certain fiaunty starveliness is in that of the horse, why not the desire for having a dirty shirt washed in Holland be another link in the same important chain. On a pupil asking Bewick why the grammar Port Royal was so called, he answered, " Because coming from Port Royal, Jamaica.^ As l have known it perplex many a wiser head than his, I add, the Society ox Port Royal des Champs, founded 1^ the celebrated Le Maitre, in 1637,. and named after a Valley near Chartreuse, six miles from Paris, where the Monastery stood, published many elemen- tary works that are highly esteemed : a narrative of the destruction of this community appeared at London in 1816. Items on scholastic classics seldom appear;, I may ad- mire them myself but this shall nevw induce me to neg- vmm. 39 leoi my own, which has a fjaree and beauty too Utile etti- mated because unrestrainedly enjoyed. Frequent at- tempts are made to caTil at their form and substance, and though, from norelty, reoeired only by tl^ million, shows the latitudinarianism of the day ; strange, that after the lapse of so many ages, and, accumulation of so much learn- ing, this should be left to certain modems to discover, as they so complacently toll us that they hare — but in the same clever way as those machines that cleanse our linen by toaring it to pieces. Another class censure our Uni- versities for reiecting the lower form of academies ! equi- valent to puttmg the finished scholar into rudiments, or penman his pot-hooks and hangers. There is no royal road to leammg, but the well-laid and solid trodden by our fathers ; true every now and then some new roadmaker arises, and in this age of egotism is it surprising that he should I he gains a stare for the dav — ^then, like a Novem- ber squib, 'tis a fiz and a flash, and Ws heaod of no more. A certain public orator, mystified by these new-light-men, undertook propogating their nostrums before a N^orthem University. When he had finished, the heads produced prominent passages which, on arranging, upset the whole ; whereupon lie arandoned his delusions. At writing time in schools every master attends to po- sitionize, inscribe examples, and do half the business of each pupil, which let him do for himself, and he will not only be the bettor for it, but spared much hereafter trou- ble and mortification. (The subject copies should be sacred and profane geography, history, cnrohology and biography, \iiiich the late Mr Butler, of Hackney, prac- tised above fifty years, forty-nine whereof in one school.) One of the most prosperous London academies I ever knew, was conducted upon this principle, which may per- adventure excite a sneer, but tnis doe^ not move me, I neither court the smiles nor fear the frowns of the world, being happily placed bevond its leaden-hearted apathy, he that can say thus much needs not its patronage, and is therefore indifierent as to its censure or its praise. Instructions in pen-making are amongst the first itoms promised, but about the last ones given in any school, when they should at least accompany round and running hand. Much has been said upon stoel pens, but none can comoete with the old firm of Goose, Gander & Go. Since Quills— or things taken frequently from the pinions of one goose, to spread the o-pimons ox another—got amongst the Jews, remarkable for adulterating every thing getting 90 into theiir bandi* ihey ai« of yetj Htlto Tttlue t tli« lidto •ppliM to pliimmetf «nd blMk-lend iMfioilB j Motdali Mid These carouses were succeeded by a bererage of tea, a trade, through the clamors of a thouchtless and improvident people, now thrown open by a whig-radical administration, to the Aill as thoughtless and improvident as themselves, which say- ing nothing of *Buch ii^justioe towards a company; for adding so vast a territory to our empire, was no sooner obtained, than those free traders havmg no character of their own and therefore reckless about a nation's, first embroiled us in a war with the Ghinese, then seU us no- thing but rubbish ; 'tis true said war proved successftil, but for which no thanks are due to them, nor does it in the least diminish their ofifence for provoking it. TQg secret of grocers, apart from adulteration, so difiering in their tea, rests with the alligations, rules better known to school-boys than adults. Our tea grown at Assam, in India, is approved by the trade. The land around our mansion, both on long lease, after supporting two cows, a horse, and the establishment in firuit and vegetables, produced £30 a year above the whole rental. A boon companion wheedling Dominus out of this lease, re-sold it for £300. Another indiscretion fol- lowed, t. «., admitting day-scholars, often proving mischie- vous, boys having ticklish tongues, rumor very long ears, and the public a swallow some miles long : this hastened his downfall, quickened by horsing a trimmer with sting- ing nettles. The business hours were good ; an hour be- fdre breakfast, three between that and dinner, and the same preceding tea or supper j the rest devoted to the play ground. Health is of equal importance with educa- tion, though some masters, in their love of fag, seem to think otherwise. A monitor attended the play ground in March, for enforcing the instructions of an Italian physi- cian, lately dying near Trento,aged 117, and never quitting his house in that month. I nnt retid«d ti Biok* Newington, with the Bar. Priohftrd, from the Welch of ApRiohAnl, like Powell Mid Panrv from ApOwel and A[>HarrT: this Aoedeuiy, an Athenian term applied to a ipot belonging to one Aoademui, lurroundea by lofty treei and oorered waUct» in which Plato tauffht nis lohool of Philosophy— wae deeply read in the Old Roman, a language ooniidered to pure from Ennius, 289, B. 0., till oeaiing to be ipoken* circa 1000 yean, at hardly to have needed reriBion. Dominus' Oreek, enterinff England in 1401, neglected Foster on Quantity and Galbrs Dissertations, but ftnt- rate grammarian. To remedy the inoonrenience of dirert grammars, Henrv YIII. ordered one only to be used call- ed Lilly's, thougn written by various persons and at sun- dry times ; thus Dr. Oolet, Dean of St. Paul's, wrote the introduction in 1510, known as PauTi Aeoiff^nee, Lilly be- ing then master of St. Paul's School, writing as his share, the English Syntax, Rules for Genders of Nouns, and the Qui Mihi ; he also did the Latin Syntax, but Erasmni afterwards so remodelled it as to cause it to pass for his : Bishop Cox, Edward VL's tutor, T. Robertson Dean of Durham, and John Bitwise composed the other parts: Vf^ Prosodia, go far as Hexameters and Pentameters in Coiil|)endium Versifioandi, was the Dean's, the remainder being added since. Apian of Alexandria, co-existent with our Saviour, was, for nis pre-eminence, designated " The trumpet of the world ! " whilst Philetas, chief of the Alex- andrian Qrammarians, had so reduced himself by study, as to be obliged, on walking out, to have leaden weights placed in his shoes to prevent being blown away by the wind. Dominus, from the first of the five royal tribes of Wales, supped on a rare-bit, vuleo rabbit, or toasted cheese, and was greatly addicted to the vast in his comparisons, after the manner of Mahomet, ex Hamaday to bless or praise, who in his third heaven, borrowed from St. Paul, intro- duces an Angel so large as to be 70,000 days ioumey from one hand to the other ! On a learned Hebrew hearing this he pshawed contemptuousljr. One of the writers in your Talmud, I observed, speaking of Adam's height on creation, says that his head touoh^ one end of the world and his feet the other, but, after transgressing, was short- ened down to 900 cubits 1 And " Enoch/' a i«^^' ^ic^i hook before Christ, expatiates on a race of giants 62£ feet high, who devouring all the fruits of the earth, next devoured ITEMS. 88 iti p«ople alio I Our Scotch faff reading aloud, on coining to tonff parliaments, paused to ^oot a sneer. You forg«t, I remarlced, that your own country had one from its in- oessant change of place, en lied the < running' pariiament. Sale's Koran is our host ; and the life of Mahomet, by the father of our immortal Addison, whose daughter died in 1797, aged 87, an excellent one. Many called the Welch a gibberish till I quoted Owen'i Dictionary ; nay Dr. Jones' Sathe of Sathe traces Bladud's pedigree to Adam 1 and similar of the Irish till shown O'Rielly's and O'Olerry's Dictionaries : the Irish language is neither known, nor spoken by all natives, hence their error. Dominus paraded the Patayinity of Livy, and abused the crabbedness in foreign languages when hit own beats them all. He adored Plutarch, of whose 160 treatises, scarcely a vestige remains. Lancellatte's " Flim- flams" show that olden writers are not faultless: thui Plutarch repeats the same story various ways and compU- ments divers persons with it, hence *' That lying Plutarch fiill of falsities and blunders :" Rowe has many lives he omits. This Principal married one of his nine maid ser- vants ! corresponsively changing her dress so often as to rival Marshal Daun's, 365, all drawn in a book, which he inspected daily before rising. Dominus officiated at Highgate, in - a jaunt thereto Hogarth, bred in his fathers school. Old Bailey, made in an alehouse his iirst attempt at satire, and occasion- ally in Whittington's College, who likewise erected, near Queenhithe, a public house of o^ffice. He admired JEa- chyles', seven only remaining of his ninety tragedies, and Horace, whose satires, like Juvenal's and YirgirB Loves of boys and animals, are so indecent as causes many to reject them wholly. When a Roman toasted his mistress, he drank as many glasses as letters in her name : hence Martial's " Six cups to Neevia» to Justina seven." Dominus seduously as Bembo revising his son- nets in passing his desk of forty divisions edited an Ainswortn (ac(]^uiring a fortune in his school, Bethnal Green, and dymg 1743, was buried at Poplar), which contains 46,000 words, whilst certain learned critics as- sert said language has only 26,000 ! the Elzeve?' is most accurate, but Valpy's the purest. Sir Balthezor Gerbier*! "Foreign Languages," and « Plans of my Academy, Beth- nal Green, 1630," are good, as Greenwood's Yocabulary, praised by the Tatler. Francis' PromptoHus Pueroruni, 1498, is our first English and Latin Dictionary, not, at \ r- S4 ITEMS. K supposed, Sir T. Elyot'ti 1538. Our coinage of words ex- ceeds all bounds, vide Dictionaries, exhibiting also those that should be expunged, many not wanted, and the ab- sence of others that all must regret, amongst which is Silhouette, a shade, ex Silhouette, a French minister of 1759, for attempting retrenchment, in an oponent tracing his bust on a whitened wall, then filling it up with char- coal. Too many principals have certain crotchets for driving into pupils, indifferent whether they require or can receive them. The commercial man also should reflect — whetiiier a classical establishment be exactly the place for acquir- ing the mysteries of Cocker, Montefiore and Maculloch, or, Roberts' Map of Commerce, and vice versa of f other. Schools professing the union of both come pretty near to that of oil and water. A short study of the classics for ordinary purposes may do no harm, in longer none but professionals and gentlemen should indulge. A common sense education in morals and religion is the best for the poor, and perhaps for us all, since 'tis possible, as in Spain and Portugal, to have too much of one and too little of the other. Domiuuii was one of those tee-totums of exterior, who greet you with 'Sir' at home, but as 'Mister' abroad, a warm shaker by the hand in private, but cold nodder in a throng. Our public and private schools average 60,000; one half invdlve a capital of £6,000,000, the other are assisted by charitable funds, (our national schools reqiure better school books, and masters salaries more remunerative,) and 1000 on the principle of Bell and Lancaster: the latter expatriated himself to America, the hot-bed of novelty where, after expulsion from Montreal for defa- mation, he died at New York, 1838, in reduced circum- stances: bdforo figuring in St. George's Fields, he occu- pied an attic in the Mint, from Henry YIII. converting its Duke of Suffolk's palace into a mint. *' All the world believes the same," was his favorite phrase, though this high authority has often tripped in its belief, as well as its criticism — it never entering into the calculations of said critics — query, or of any other — that they can ever be wrong themselves, forgetting the very stringent one of their elder brother sending Galileo into exile, and Bruno to the stake, for maintaining this orb of ours to be sphe- rical, whilst he, the then world, chose to consider it flj&t as any floundei' ! siting nothing of the Pope, in 1650 giv- ing to tlu King of Spain, all countries to tne West, as on ITEMS. is MMut of plain ! These nener-w^the-wroM erities, forming the world of our day, now approve the tneory of Galileo et Bruno^ and send theur ancient brother's packing : who will be answerable for that of their descendants ? RambUng in and nround town, I observed day schools, for both sexes, were now changed to seminaries : a f emrie seminary, and a seminary for young ladies alike abounded : here the words female and ladies are superfluous ; to the indiscriminate use of which — ^not yet reconciled to the e^- fectedly correct form of take — I must beg leave to differ, since Seminary of itself implies a girl's school : and very pompous titles for those above the grade of your little miss : reading " Pavilion," on a humble hut of clap-boards and ^'Ormond Hall," on a humbler of plaster; some grandiloquent name ovor the entry to an ordinary round- house, and another of magnitude on a renovated watch box, with sentry ones .as side wings, and a piggery in the rear exalted to a school-room. The cards of their tenants, drafted largely from hyperbole, ended with eulogiums on the salubrity of the air, mtermingling with smoke and the effluvia of penthouses; the rural and sequestered site of the mansion, environed by brickfields and locality of spice islands ; or if a field perchance intervened, resem- bling the abominations of Malta in the dog days. From a door-plate in the Hackney Road, I transcribed " School for teaching grown ladies and gentlemen to walk," and a morning Journal " Fashionable deportment taught, from the receptive curtsey to that most approved in elegant society." These vicinities have man^ excellent seminaries, but others of an equivocal bearmg, whose principals instill little or no good, with all the tinselled finicalness of Madame de Genlis, who, if her library held works by au- thors of both sexes, thrust a missal between them, because it contained the service of nuztrimonyf which the pupils of a seminary not- a 100 miles from Kensington enacted even to the consummation!' And of another, some remove therefrom, whose spinster Governess often admitted to her chamber, both in and out of recess, a lover for the night 1 one is now broken up and the other departed this life, or I should have said nothing about either. A Dissenter here, whose requital for a greater enjoy- ment of civil and religious liberty than in any other coun- try, is in attempts to pull down our national altar, and subvert cur constitution, withdrew discomfited from a parish k. jting to make a rate for repairing the church, ITEMS^ r bv my answering his Tituperations with *< You say that Mjr.. Moore, in his Capt. Book, asks to what parish church Adam paid tithes^ which shows great ignorance of Scrip, ture, for Genesis 14, and Hebrews 7, rigidly enjoin them. A noted. London sectarian agitator haying tricked another out of leasehold property for £16 a year, re-lets it at £75 1 but treats the rector with contumely for demanding half a crOwn when entitled to ten shillings, so moyed, he says, conscientiously ; like the schismatics at Cheltenham, proy- ed, in a church-rate meeting, to receiye £6 eyery year for his pew in the parish church, though refusing conscien' tiouslvf to pay 68. as his share of said rate. Such instan- ces abound in Essex, Thorogood, to wit, the conscientious snob, who threw himself into Chelmsford Jail, rather than pay 6b. toward the repair of the parish church, but withdrew with a £1000 in his pocket, a contribution for his martyrdom^ from the leaaen-headed of his order. Whereupon beyies of church-rate martyrs shot up l^e mushrooms and walked into prison, but by the time they had got there, the eyes of the faithful being opened, were left to walk out again in the best way they could : this species of martyrdom being no longer profitable, we there- fore hear no more about it. When at Toronto, Canada, containing 20,000 people, half Episcopalians, the rest split into twenty-seven sects, one whereof, adopting the much reviled system of tithes, levied them even on children's pocket money I which no one noticed because the act of Sectarians, but had it been by Churchmen the whole town would have rang with indignant condemnation. The Canadian Catholics levy tithos on every transfer of real estate ; even demanding and receiving £2000 as tithe on the Montreal Waterworks. K tithes were abolished the {)eople would reap no advantage, since landlords would ay them upon their rent, as they already do on eveiy tithe-redeemed farm and estate. When boarding in an eastern town, an Independent minister observed to me *^ How shameful 'tis that Cam- bridge University has no teacher of Divinity," I replied ** Why the Margaret and Regius Professorships are devot- ed to that object." For thus disabusing him of error he became an enemy, and one of his deacons also, a baker» because I thrice detected him cheating my hostess, be- sidies being seen, on holding the plate at his chapel, con- veying extracts privily to his pocket ! A second would not allow any Lord! 9-day cooking, deeming it profane, bi|t himself never dining without hot pudding, his cook regu- r- * You B»y ibat parislL onurdh anoe of Scrip- ^ enjoin them. Ticked anotlier -lets it at £751 lOmanding half Qoved, he says, )ltenham, prov- every year for 'using consden' Such instan- e conscientious rd Jail, rather ish church, but ontribution for of his order. •s shot up like f the time ttey. ig opened, were ley could: this table, we there- >ronto, Canada, IB, the rest split ting the much I on children's iuse the act of the whole town ination. The ansfer of real lOO as tithe on abolished the ndlords would do on every Independent |tis that Cam- lity," I repUed |ips are deyot- of error he >, a baker, hostess, be- chapel, con- lecond would I profane, butt cook regu- ITBMI9. 37 larly left chap6l to prepare it; A third, for officerii. iti conventicles are like those in the Coggeshall Volunteers,- about as numerous as privates^ notea for his outpouring against incontinence, was often engaged amongst >his laborers in promoting marriages with nis maids, previoufr* ly enceinte by himself and sons t A baptistical deacon printer in London whom I occasionally employed, one day endeavoured to obtain a large check from me, but which I fortunately declined, as the next morning's Oazette an^- nounced him a bankrupt, thereby cancelling ♦"! 5,000 with a sixpenny dividend : many lambs in this fol< , if they had their just due, have far greater claims tl an ordinary jus- tice can satisfy. If you think that you can profit from the deliveries of their exhorters, hear them^ but be casre- ful it goes no further, that it does not ^Ink itself in with yoiir domestic circle, nor mix itself up with your worldly substance. A gentleman whom I once knew, never ad- mitted one to his house, though himself a nonconformist; on my asking his reasons for this, he promptly replied **Two, the happiness of my family, ana security of my property. Every one of another faith, and the wary of hu own, in dealing with him should be armed, like AchillicB, to the very heels, for by the tenor of his creed he classes him with Gain or the lost tribes of Israel, and is untiring as the Jew in his endeavours to overreach him." My predecessor's father was curate of Llanilid, Wales, the oldest church in England, whilst St. Lawrence, Isle of Wight, and not Barry or Oilstone, Glamoi^anshire, is the smallest : his son made the scholastic profession a stepping stone to ordination, but were anciently united. When (maplain to a continental nobleman, who writes his title as part of his signature, thus €. MunSter meing ' Count Munster, and we blame for admitting a female name amongst their male ones, as Anne of Montmorency, constable of France, Francis Maty Pico, Diike of Miran- dola, when doing the same thing ourselves, as WiUiam ^nnePochin, captain in the Leicestershire Yeomanry, aiid Lucy Knightly, Esq., M.P., examined Pompey's statme, Pallazza Spada, at which Csesar fell; visited its 300 palaces without a third repaying that trouble j the Pope's of 10,000 rooms, and foundhis I^politan majesty the only • good butterman, from whose palace all orders issue im- pressed with thid royal' arms; Marcus Grassus' dinner to the Romans, at 10,000 tables, must havebeen costly, pro- < visions being then ten times dearer than ours. ThQse of ■ that period whom we call thio ancients, they dehommated D • TjnSMB. the Oveeks, and these nckqowledeed to be the EgyptifiM^ He settle4 near Oodnor CaRtle, Derbyshire, wherew soda wsiter, ffinger beer, ink and blacking bottles are made, with, I beheye, wine also, of which six sizes are in vse, all below the proper measure, amongst our pu&ig wine and spirit shops, one noted house usually clearing £1000, in the Ohristmas season, by this short-measure lK>ttle. A preyiouB assistant realising £600 in the profession, quitted for <* Wanted as clerk to a merchant in the city, a ^ntleman who can doTote six houi's daily to tibe duties of . Uie office, salary £160: must deposit £600 as security, on which 6 y cent, interest will be allowed." This ad- rertisement, thus baited, he not only answered but wae simple enough to accept, ond, as a matter of course, got cheated of both. He thereupon returned to his profession. Scone writers question the reality of Wolsey^s CoUege, Ipswich : this assistant had a ** Brerissima Institutio, 1628" : its rules and regulations by the Cardinal, Singer^s Iiife of whom is an excellert biography. <jeeid or skipt and went on. At every barbarous word as lengthy, he^ utter fiddlestick! and if breadthy followed, added strengUlf; giving imperturable a reading of imper-ti«r«-able, because more obnoxious than the rest. He wrote allecfge, and if told 'twas now written allege, replied, '*I know it, but modems instead of helping very often embarras pronun. ciation : the proper sound of lege being leige can hevea* be twisted into Sse^', discarding d I conceive an innovation but no improvement.*' His rdative, Mr Smith, was robbed of plate and jewelry in 1809, worth £1600, which, four yean after, were foimd concealed in a ditch on the Kent Road. Mr Barnes, another tutor, intimate with the celebrated Baron Oeramb, so long rivalling Romeo Goates, in the sin- gularity of his equipage, who oecame a monk, and died Abbot of La Trappe. Barnes was erratic, inattentive to exterior, and bearing marks of improvident genius; iJways exhibiting stray visits from the pen, another in one hand, scraps of paper the second ; scrolls peeping^from his coat pockets and t'others cram'd with all out the needful. Borrowing a pair of shoes one day, but the next in full purse, yet emptied again on some original like himself, to correct which, like writing large hand in round text lines, would be only attempting an impossibility. Those evin- cing great abilities in Utopian matters hot unfrequently lack a common carter's m every other, but whilst so many blockheads regard this as evidence of genius, we have very little hopes of its amendment. Passing a Strand crossing he gave sweeps half a crown, when the man said^ "Master, do you know what you gave me?" which so pleased Barnes that he added a sovereign, and next night hadn't siller to get a supper. Our universities have many Professorships in the four faculties of Arts, Theology^ Physic and Civil Law, but none in the valuable but less esteemed of common Mtue, the rarest of them aU. Re- f^ ng, when asked if married, « Oh yes, and to nine wires > Ml " (the Muses), who are so docile and obedient, that they seldom displease me or quarrel amongst theniselves, I cannot therefore be so ungrateful as to tinnk of any \ • 40 ITEMS. A », otibdr." |{e.fiAil6d in.a PaclBianinKblotting compaay, as oommon th6rd for publishing books, ae of merchants here for commercial purposes. The Guardian letter box, a gilt lion at Button's Coffeehouse, selling lHoy. 6, 1804. for X17 10s, was once his. Mr Banks, undermaster, another laborer in the vine- yard, but nearer the desert than approaching a garden, confirming what a small salary will do when well husban- ded : he aided our other masters for a consideration ; and weU he might, being descended from Roger Crabbe, of Uxoridge, but buried at Stepney, who gave his estate to the ^or in 1660, and himself lived orx Jive /arthinqa a day; beating Vulture Hopkins and Grip Bancroft to cinders in the article of thrift, which, personally, was hard to dis- cover, though on a push, if a pupil wrote his exercise in wide lines, or nibb'd his pen twice, he'd let out, ** Here's a waste of peL3 and paper." A favorite with student B , now in the Bank, who despite his allowance waa the lowest, yet contrived to make them all his debtors. Perchance, in the Warrant office, seeing him receive his dividend on £1500, he begg'd me not to notice it in th$ tihop i observing, " Our masters spending more than they earn, are incredulous on all matters of economy ; liet them remain bo, the task of undeceiving them would be too un- profitable for me to undertake; 'tis aa easy matter to assert what they wish to be true, the difficulty is to prove it — verily their opinions are of no more vidue than a crush'd quill or dry ink-horn ; the wearer of a tight ehoe best knows where it pinches, but he, with too large a one has others to do so for him." One means by which he accumulated this pile, was penny-a-lining i^ a resource much above the implication of its name, since many a member, on particular occasions, has realised £14 weekly ; and another, diting four-penny romances of Anne Lemoine, Coleman Street celebrity, fprming the Attic and Kitchen libraries of that period: his bewitching little romance the Castle of Ornando, had three purchasers, videlicet, first one £6, unslashed ; second £4, incidents and text muffled ; third and last £2, com- bining a lopping he callod shuggery. When in town he domiciled at an economical coffeehouse, his expenses at the Neptuqe, Shadwell, after character in a naumachia, were, breakfast, a large cup of coffee with two slices of bread and butter, twopence halfpenny ; same charge for tea ; his dinner, a bason of soup, meat, potatoes, and bread, threepence, at Worrall's, hard by, whose brothers, rsmim. 41 atsimHarshopf in Whitechapel and Holboni, are making fortunes, another in Bmithfleld haViqe retired on One ; Bupper he never took. He occasionuly dined at rooms in Postern Row, Tower Hill, Widegate Alley, BishopsKate Street, or High Street, Shoreditoh, wherein ne had a plate of ffood meat, vegetables and bread for fourpence — total, ninepence per day, with tliree shillings weekly for a furnished bedroom and use of a parlor. Returning from lialf-price at the Surrey, hA discovered 80 Blackman Street, marvellous for a pennith of boiled plum-bolster, forming the sole dinner for two years in a Kentish esta- blishment, of this veritable inkspiller, from Indkiostro, literally in a cloister^ historically proving our deep obliga- tions to those ecclesiastical retreats where it first shed its rays to enlighten our then benighted world. A placeman with £600 a year, borrowed £150 of me, secured by Warrant of Attorney, that, at his persuasion, I Mled ui>, he insisting on my receiving a eratuity for so doing, which he knew to be illegal, but at tnat time, I did not; consequently, as he intended, never eot back my money. He eventually took the benefit of the Act for £4000, without touching his income ; whereupon shoals followed his example. The Act now sets aside a modicum firom the salaries of petitioners for the benefit of their creditors, but with its usual one-sidedness, as another Slaceman with £500 per annum relieved himself from a ebt of £5000, he being allowed £450, but his creditors only £50 a year. When a man has a good and regularly paid income, the case with all our public officials, it ought to form a bar to visiting this Oourt : the case is diffokent with tradesmen, whose property being trustively in the hands of others, are therefore entitled to a corresponding forbearance ; but the law in its wisdom makes no distinc- tion, else all or nearly so, to one person, and that usually the least deserving. Another trick practised by swindlers of this stamp, is to acknowledge the advance with a com- pliment or bonus, and the lender never sees any more either of principal or interest. I have alw^s been btruck, when attending the Oourt for Insolvent Debtors, wherein I have the honor of being assignee to three recipients, of which I should be dad to be rid, at its total want of sympathy for the creditor, of which the debtor, both from the court and auditory, atoms to be in complete possession — ^the former beine deemed the criminal, and the latter his prosecutor — and though said prosecutor is constantly detected in the most 42 ITEMS. I' .. flagrant offences* yet they rery rarely serre any other purpose than to secure it the stronger. In this way more than £250,000,0001 of debt hare been sponged out, in a ▼ery few years, without the town appearing to be a whit better in its circumstances, or trade itself in a healthier condition. The liberality which gives away another man's property whilst we hold fast our own, is not less Question- able, than as rare a sample of justice. The pruaent and careful easily save money, but in their intercourse with the world find it difficult to keep, since mens mal-practices, too often screened by the law, conspire to rob theip of it. Imprisonment for debt under £20 is now abolbhed, leaving larger ones as before, as the profligate and unprin- cipled never restrain themselves to debts of £20.. The landlady of this placeman borrowed £60 of me secured upon her plate : preceding her (second) husband passing the Insolvent Court, he demanded a restoration of said plate, and consequent loss of my £60, or I should be imprisoned for concealment of property appertaining to his estate ! Unfortunately for tnis well-assorted pair, my assigneeships in said Court, of which they were ignorant sufficiently instructed me in its law, independent of the straight-lorward character of the transaction, to know, that so far from being in their power, it was in mine to send both where they so gratefully talked of sending me. On hearing this the money was quickly paid. I had no other motive in either of these transactions, than what arose from the pleasure of doing a kind action, neverthe- less in one I lost my money, and the other my reputation, as I have reason to know that, suppressing tne real facts, somebody had whispered it about, but nobody of course could tell who, as there would then be an end of defama- tion, that I connived at Insolvents defrauding their credi- tors. It was concocted by the lady, whose first husband being a Jew, had inoculated her with this and similar devices of that amiable race. Perhaps there may be some corner honesty in the dealings of a Jew, but as I have never been able to find this out myself, after many fruitless endeavours to do so, I should deem any like attempt by others as equally futile, and too hazardous to recommend. I am quite aware that this opposes the morbid liberality of our day, which has got to such a pass, that I am constantly lookhi^ for a certain gentleman, clad by our fathers in the deepest sable, coming out arrayed as the driven snow. Lending money to others in the vain expectation of conferring a favor or making '■*i ITEMS. 48 re any othar ;hii way more ged out, in a to be » whit a a healthier mother man's less Question- prudent and ercourse with nal-praoticesi >b thai]! of it. )w abolished, e and unprin- £20.. d £60 of me ond) husband restoration of »r I should be pertaining to )rted pair, my Tore ignorant indent of the Ion, to know, us in mine to f sending me. id. I had no 18, than what n, neverthe- iiy reputation, [he real facts, >dy of course " of def ama- their credi- irst husband and similar lere may be bw, but as I [after many woo. any like lazardous to apposes the [such a pass, 1 gentleman, poming out to others in lor making Ariends, is like a wanderer in search of the waters of oblirion, which have not yet been discoTored, and I am of opinion nerer will. Our fag in this grove of Academus, or rather chimney- pots, they forming the only grove hereabouts— John de- scendant of Tom Horton, Grub Street, realising a fortune by lenuiOg whieelbarrows to the poor— pust tall enough to reach the upper of three quart pots piled one upon the other, the contents whereof he loved above all things, made his entry one week but exit the other, bearing these hints from me — ^the fine froth or heading on a pot of beer, which you so much admire, is nothing but the union of copperas and ground alum : its regular adulteration is 17 lbs. of Jamaica to 30 gallons of water, but often the latter only — Query, because one half of animal food, and as much of a penny loaf, dissolve to that element ? The Tap of a brewery is where its beer is sold pure, for which its keeper is allowed £200 per annum. This loose quill in the Dox once figured in Richardson's theatre at Bartelmy Fair, anciently a place of note amongst dramatic scribes : " The Coronation of Queen Elizabeth," enacted here in 1680, lately sold for £2 5s. : see divers reprints, and others in the British Museum headed " Bartholomew Fair." Richardson's company performing 21 times diurnally, he cfdled them the first tragedians of the day because they acted in the morning. He usually cleared £1000 in this and each other fair around town: of very unobtrusive manners, and though a penny showman, affluent and be- nevolent, bequeathing £20,000 amongst his actors and old associates. The shortest crim-con action-known, arose from one of h^s actresses eloping with a young man just before performing, for which he was tried in the Pie- poudre Court, Bartholomew Fair, Sept. 6, 1804, and sen- tenced to pay her husband £6, and our Thespis £3 168. His theatre became the property of Messrs John&on and Lee, but no longer appears in Bartholomew Fair because dramatics there are now interdicted. Political mountebanks, to carry on their insidious de- signs, have withdrawn the public from our sterling English Drama, instructive as well as amusing, and transferred them to the loathsome gin-shop and pothouse, by licensing the performance of trashy pieces in each, where, whilst imbibing that which perils the soul, they may gulp down the other which destroys the body : far worse than Villemain's blunders in " Biographie Universelle," repre- senting Lord Byron meeting Bruce the traveller 16 yeara ITEMS. After his death t ClaMing Woulfe's beautiftd lines on the death 1 Sir John Moore, amongst Byron's composition f Elevating the late Sir Joseph Banks to the woolsack ( and oon^unding Carey, the literary Earl of Monmouth, with Oharles II. s natural son. Though the stage is a rery equivooal arena for wires, •till how many of our nobility and gentry hare gone and still go there : the renowned Earl of Peterborough, who restored a king of Spain to his throne, espoused Anastatia Robinson, the Tooalist: Earl Waldegrave Braham's daugh- ter, who made his debut at Bagnigge Wells : the Earl of Essex, Miss Stephens, and, passing a host of others, Lord Harrington, Miss Foote. Lady Herbert, daughter .of Marquiss Powis, was the first to take a husband from the playhouse by marrying Beard the singer in 1730. Our discerning public proiess much abhorrence of devotees to vice and immorality, but observe how they prove this wheh opportunities offer for doing so : at a late sale of autographs, those of the notorious Nell Gwynne and the profligate Lord Rochester, fetched double the price of the amiaMe Sir Isaac Newton and excellent Sir Ghristopher Wren's, who on building St. Paul's Cathedral had this notice stuck up, " Any workman using profane language will be dismissed." Horton's main character at Richardson's was in Joan of Arc, whose execution has been called a blot upon English History, such opinionists forgetting that it was the act of her own people, advised by a voluntary tribunal of French E relates, led by their' Inquisition, whose best account it ilorente's, and its records, 60 vols. M.SS., possessed by the Duke of Manchester — other dissentients are recom- mended the remarkable case of Hampden and Sidney, further on, as proving with what ease history can tnp when it suite her purpose to do so. A Spanish lady, in 1826, made a voluntiuy oath before Sir K. Roe, police maeistrate, that a branch establishment of the Inquuition existed in the vicinity of Great Winchester Street : up to 1808 Spain has paid the PQpe £77,000,000 for the privi- lege of burning 40,000 persons Ilia people devoting sab- bath mornings to mass, and afternoons a bull-fight. Nix, Roman Catholic Bishop of Norwich, brutally designated Protestants ** Men savoring of the frying-pan." The 200 sects that sprung up under Cromwell, vide M.A. 58, owe every thing to the craft of the papal see, which then dispatched 100 priests, properly tutored, into this country, to eownter/eU those sects most opposed to ITEMS. 48 the Ohuroh of England, which Rome fears ahore all others, for stirring up strife and bitterness against her: Tide Strrpes' Life of Parker, and Archbishop BramhaH's Letters in Parr's Life of Usher: conftrmed by the fol- lowing abominable clause in the Jesuit's Oath, "I do further promise to aiutime any religion hereticcd for the propagcUton of mother Church' » interests, to keep secret all ner aeents and councils." Although Pope Clement XIV. was omiged to dissolve the order of Jesuits at Rome in 1778, for crimes too infamous to be named, previously banished from Venice in 1606, Bohemia 1618, Naples and the Low Countries 1622, India 1623, France 1724, Portugal 1762, and Spain in 1767, Pope Pius VII. re-established them during 1801, and in 1814 restored all their former privileges. We never had any serious divisions in politics or religion amonest us without Romanists being found at the bottom of them; hence with how much other evil besides the corruptions of her faith, does not papistry afflict us : vide Bisnop Hall's ** No Peace with Rome, and «The Old Reliffion,'' whilst the Pope's Nuncio publicly reprobated the Irish oath of allegiance to our sovereign^ as in no instance bind; ig unless sanctioned by the Pontiff! That this hierarchy is precisely what it ever was, and that we and all other heretics are to be destroyed at a fitting opportunity, which they flatter themselves to be near at hand, read Bellarmine de Laicis, lib. III. c. 22. In this school students were often book'd a year before admission, not that this criterion is faultless, but shows its patronage by a discerning public, and as I have noticed certain instances of that discernment elsewhere, and may add others hereafter, who can question so competent an authority ? Will a hireling be insensible to lassitude, or the appliances of a bribe ? Was there ever yet an instance of integrity influencing those previously seduced bv self- interest and esteem ? And, as in all bodies operative, so also in the academical, if one of their number prove more conscientious than the rest, they unite to produce one of two things, dismission or conversion : when such motives govern the dispositions of men, 'twould be unr^a- Bonable to expect their exemption in scholastics. Where the classics most abounded I usually found the greatest amount of immorality ; how continuously are the pure and beautiful productions of our best writers rejected for the filthy amours of the gods and goddesses in the heathen mytholoey, that are fitted onlv for a brothel, which demands the serious attention of every teacher. 46 ITEMS. The clindeitine interooune between our memb«n *ad Ihote of an adjoining leminary, wtm extraordinary, which did and must baffle tne rigilanoe of any matter lo long at parents supply their p^ with large pecuniary aid, the sererest trial that can well befall them, seeing now often it proves so to those of riper age : most of ours larished their sovereigns with the profusion of a Fox or a Love- lace. The femAle domestics should be few and imperson- able M possible : ours abounding in allurements, had minor charges for inferior indulgenoies, as provocative to g 'eater at a higher price I and loaning secretly Abbe de ues infamous book, exceeding even Ofoland's bringing its Sublisher £10,000 — a heavy entry to the credit of our isoeming public — who pleading poverty, before tlM Council, as his excuse for writing it. Lord Granville nobly granted him an annuity of £100, on condition that he abstained from such works in future. In nothing do I more deplore the execrable French Revolution, thui for the mortal blow it dealt against the moral character of England; its emigrants, in return for our hospitality, in- troduced a lio'^-^.tiousness amongst us till then unknown. An Englifh officer losing his honor in Paris, was cashiered : providing, himself with those infamous things called faeetiaSf sold openly there, he returned home, and vended secretly in seminaries which, degraded as he was, he delighted to contaminate. Punishing so vile a wretch is fhiught with danger, from exposing his vicious enormities, 80 tmit half England may learn to sin in a new way. He is now dead, but O what a death-bed scene did his afford! Even such a monster as this needn't fear a diaoemina puMie, as a fiend of the same stamp has often received, under the specious plea of persecution, their countenance and support, which a successful debut at the Old Bailey, or miscreant from its drop is sure to do. The recent general election in France was held all over the kingdom on the sabbath: a similar desecration of holy ordinances and sacred things preceded their revolu- tion; when they thus infringed the ordinances of God he forsook them for a season, and scenes of carnage and horror ensued unexampled in history — are those non- reflective people seeking after another of the same fright- ful kind ? 'Tw(M here wat those specious words philoso- phist and philosophism originated, characteristics of the execrable abettors of that dark period. Though a small draught of philosophy, says Lord Bacon, may lead a Qian into atheism, a deep draught will be sure to bring him ••YrilB^ir^V-'^"^!- ITBM8. 4?' back again. From 1817 to 1826, 1,SOO,000 fob. of Voltaire were printed and eagerly bought m Parii. Hit nieoe and heiress Madame Denis, fVom her deprared propensitiee, like Rousseau's wife subsequently marrying Jack Rook an Irish groom, was a beflttinff companion for such a man. His gardner Darlledouxe died at Femey, in 1848, Terr aeed. Of all their atheistioiU writers George Sands, hu admirer, educated in a conrent, is the chief for arowedly attempting to destroy erery feeling we hare been taught to rerere, and ererv institution heretofore held sacred. Her real name is Dudevant, that of Sands is her first loTor's, of whom she has a host, being, I am grieved to say» a female, uniting considerable abilities with the embodi- ment of Milton's Sin. Her works are legion, but on falling in my way, are committed to the flames. She parades the Parisian Boulerards as a finished French dandy.- a word of contempt, applied by Buonaparte, to men who displeased him, with a seear stuck in her mouth, and other motley fooleries of that despicable character. What are we to think of those that can patronise such a piece of pollution, and whose detestable principles the following anecdote illustratej. I once accompanied a gentleman, his lad^, and daughter Maddalena from Wilts, to evening service in the chapel of the Foundling. Soon after the conclusion of Addison's beautiful hymn from the xxin. Psalm, by its excellent choir, succeeded the equally beautiful anthem, " O that I had the wings of a dove, for then would I flee away and be at rest:' during its performance, the young lady whispered in tones almost inaudible, that she could then « Lie down and die," which startled me, not being suffi- ciently in her confidence to know, whether this arose from the excitement of the moment, or any more hidden cause. About a year therofrom, after a tributary pilgrimage to the tomb of my mother, arriving in the evening, at a village near W s, I was entering its rustic Inn, when the sound of plaintive music drew me to an ancient mansion, surroimded by shrubberies, close by: several subdued voices, accompanied by a chamber organ, in a soft and solemn stop, were executing, much to my surprise, the anthem above mentioned : but judge how that surprise was increased, on my learning that tms was by the desire of Maddalena, who then, to my astonishment, lay dead in the house (her aunt's) preparatory to interment on the morrow ! The following orief statement explains this moumfUl event. Her parents being called to tiieir estate \ 48 ITEBiS. in WaleSf were unwUVng, in an inclement season, to take her wii)i them, and therefore placed her, as parlor hoarder, in the seminary of Mrs H , at K— -r— , near Dr ^'s classical school, whose French master (an ex-nohle) also attended Mrs H ^'s establishment. Maddalena, to peifect her acquirements in that language, took prirate lessons of him. Possessing,' with, an exterior of some elegance, . an undue portion of the simulative arts, he formed a deep-laid plan for her destruction. Maddalena entered the seminary pure and spotless, but left it undone I and ere her bud had expanded into blossom, laid it mournfully with the dead. Who of the village in which Maddalena sleeps that cm visit her tomb without sorrow and emotion — since uot less lamented than amiable and beloved ? Here does her name endure and ever shall bo sacred, as those halcyon hours lon^ since departed to visit me no more. Peace to thy remams thou much ii\jured maid ! Where dwells the heart, be it in whatever mould, that can contemplate thine end without sadness or a sigh! Aecept from a wanderer, as he lingereth on his way, himself deeply injured, lonely and unknown, the tribute of a tear to thy remembrance and misfortunes ; and ever whilst he■•» .1 AJKWtl O^r -rT* of jihese ilieiDS} i^efer to fpniier notes oh Ganada ai%4 tii^i»d States,, Mth alsp lifanual of Orthoepj;: M'tiblii^ N^l^-means the jflirst part of said Kotes, i^d i^ num^^ the. oolTeiq>OQ^ding iiumD^<: A.&— the A^iendjo^or^B^hd part, ai)Mi.nuiQeraI as hefore : M. A.^r— Mi8ceUfuieoi|s,4^ oles, or third part/ its numeral the pa^ge : and ^an. f^ 9igni^es Manual of Orthoepy, and numeral its pitg^ : .TV^_ aJaopre&cO' '"f».p»ff«! » bnleayiog^tpke Kewington, I departed on a;tQvrJxi America, yia Kew York, because the navigation of tJ^ Giilph andshores of Kew £)ngland is dan^erous^ which |i^ dehtors no sooner heard, than, taking it for fiha!!, tn<0^ denied their ol^ligations to my agent,' an cfi^ schooIfel|^W2 who npt suspecting wrong , in others because inca|>a1^Ie;<» it himsejU^coneluaed, reasonably enoueh, there inight M some mistake. On mj returningand discovering thiev perfidy, he was highly incensed. Why Pool, I. added, yo^' seem as much 6^rprised at the ingratitude of these peopiei^ as if there were nothing but truth and goodness in tla^, land. Do you want to lose your friend? Then^end'jiim money ; or make another your enemy ? Do him a ki;^p« ness. If these means fail you may despair of any otl^r. I have made the experiment, you know the result, prd^t, I therefore pray you, from my folly. All my passages across the Atlantic (8000 miles long| a^d from 6000 to as many broad) being alike boisteroiiSr it never excited any pleasurable sensation. If, thou^l^i %, the land be accursed for the sin of our &*st parent^y surely the sea must be immeasurably so, since here it asseib you with unutterable horrors, tt is a wide uid' dreary waste of the world's insincerity, one moihet^ arrayed in blandishments ahd smiles, the next «ithetf engulphin^ you or threatening- to do do: no onle e'^^ sailed^ on its waters but at the peril c^ his life ; can it therefore. be possible to love an element so ^rea conceaM^ by. 460 la^ejrs or years of the tSmbcor grown over it ; hence the original cutting must haVo bjsen in 1374, or, 118 years before Columbufs discoTored America. Wiley's "New York" says there are GOQO souare miles in her Northern paort untrodden by man: Manhfkttan, on which it stands, containing 13,920 acres, Was an Indianic purchase, by the Putch, for 24 dollars, which the Ghinene reduce to one-fifth of their value by extractive punches, and then melt .into Syce silver, deemed the most valu- able, formed like a cano^ centrely stamped, and easily packed. The thermometer varies here from 20 below tp 98 above zero : the heat of one day shall be most intense, whilst Uie next you may see ice carting about. Its winters are unparalleled, and West-Indians declare its summer more oppressive than theirs : 'tis the dirtiest city ill the world, t}i< igh paying the most to keep it cleai^. Ab to its real ^ :<> -ty, passing by Holt's, Perrjr^s, and a hundred others- A ^'^^or, the millionaire, formerly hawking ap{>les, recently vended fourteen mortgages at a fourth of their original value. K.B.— A millionaire m America means pf so many dollars, as in France of so many franks, a term therefore of very different signification to a millionaire with us. The first New York craft was " The RegOen" of 16 tons, a prophetic name for this busy, bustling, restless metropolis. The purity of its col:ppratio^ officials vn exemplified ip one with a salary of 460, sporting his carriage and country house at Haerlam. Many hotels proffer mock turtle and ri/sh soups gratuitously, on condi- tion of spending 6 cents (3id.) at t^eir bar.. It loses 700 annually from intemperance, and its amount of crime, though so vastly smaller, is three times xpore than all Ltondon. As much r^n falls here as at Leghom, properly Livorpp, a corruption ranking with Uiylpek for I^ilac, ^ihcntgh^t for Bouquet (boorm). Its State Govprport holcte 1;^46 appointments, largely predominant in .each pf its 26 Statesi ; that of the Fi^e^dent in the Post Office ,ah>ne is thousands, often .exercised wholi^e) vid^ iN.2l^ : the patronage of the general Qoveimmjeht e|:cepo8 &4,popI Certain writers ip our o:wn country ipdulgp In very seye^ strictures on patrpoagp, b]ut;after thiis, f^^^cAlt 4upl^y '1 I \ i'k ITfiMB. Qf ft, I titovld imagiine tbey< will hardlf attompt its .rep«tf- iStm, at tfAf rate must draw it a ^at deal miMer. ' ' This requital for presenting New York bein^ liid M aiil^ieiB, M.A.68— rewinds me that after General Jadtion hlidtoyedthe city of New Orleans from capture, hyfotm^ |lb^*k wall with bags of cotton, he was stted for their thliiie» fltttd amerced in 910,000 damages ! anidl though repeatedly pc^titioning Congress for reimbursement, yet died without recehrine it. Nevertheless he merits little synipathy ner- ibnaUy for the following reason: A gentleman, di^ at Ldiidon^ leaving £200,000, in default of heirs, to .build a eoBege at Washington, which Jackson learning, sent a messenger to England and obtained the money : soon after the executors finding an heir, appnBed him, hut of which no notice was taken. Oontrast this with thieir reception dt <*Eecueil de^ Historians dels Gauls et de la France/* and ** Process Yerbaux des Seances de la Ghambife del Deputes," in 43 voU., splendidly bound, presented by the Ftench Govemment. They arrived at New York in 1844J addressed " a jes Etats TJnis d'Amerique," and after lyin^ nine months in its Custom House, unclaimed, were'ftold by auction, Jan. 16, 1846, and bought by a private individual. -' Americans now float cotton lo market on the Western wJEiters, thereby saving ships and loss by fire. The aniotmt n'oiihi and imported from India into England, in' 1830> was 76,000 bales, in 1835^ 130,000, but in 1840, upwards of 934,616 : Bank of England notes in payment for cotton^ ard' receivable at New Orleans, Louisville, and Cincinnati, iii preference to their own; The first cotton, yam spun in Canada was at the Chambly Cotton Factory, March 18, 1^46.' v'''7 n.ni.'. Am^riji^B censure the power vested in Euroj^NMUi dbVe^eighs, when their President exercises greater.: thus John "^er more than once rejected Bills passed bj Odngr^, a power not exercised by any Britii^ sovei'iBigti since the revolution: General Jackson put Bills in ma pocket and walked otf without noticing them ; whilst Van Buren went beyond both by stating that he would Vetoi any Bill of a certain description coming before him durimg his Presidency. Then as to their liberty :. A colored nian lately entering Washington, was arrested aa ^ilave; this he disproved legally, but being unable topay the ekpenseS» wia3 actually gold aS a slate to ' do so'. At O^nle^f 6. Point, adjacent, Washington's colored servant etii^ <(ii^a ^^ 114, iti 1848 : his liuut^ Set the eMmpIe li ITEMS. 53 at for cotton. of sending a market cart, with fhiits and veeetables from Mount Vernon, to the neighbouring town of Alexandria, and often attended personally. He was made a freeman in the 46th regimen^ when stationed in the (iioldnies : its Register contains his signature, and the Bible on which he took the oath : the chest containing them and regalia of the lodge, has been twice' captured, by ^he Americans and French, but on discovering their contents, were in both instances returned. The house and lot in which his mother lived and died, at Fredericksburgh, Virginia, were sold Nov. 18v 1843, without exciting attention, or fetching a good price. Whilst the Bev. Mr Glapp resided in New Orleans, he witnessed eleven Yellow Fevers and two Choleras swieep- ing off 140,000 victims : 300 English emigrants arrivingin that of 1841, took the infection, and all perished. The Nestor from Montreal to New Orleans, with .162 pas- sengers, arriving Oct. 1, 1837, in five days after all button were dead! . These awful visitations are preceded bv the Upasian winds that blow from the Nortn-east, and fol- lowed by such prodigious humidity that the very counter- pane on your bed will be dripping wet Its Mobile railroad, four miles long, runs Qver one continuous marsh from the city, the sole receptacle for its' drains, sewers, and filtfai, on layers of logs many feet high, of themselves engendering malaria, disease and death. The receipts of the St. Charles hotel bar are 800 dollars daily. A smooth- faced loafer was lately discovered officiating as chamber- maid in one of its steamboats. A lawyer here heads his bills and notices with mimi euiqtie, which he translates — Sue 'em quick. The favourite preacher is Mr C , of no denomination, nor subscribing any creed — ^he will take a Julep with you at all times, smoke a regalia, play you a string of billiards or ten pins, and if not enga^ea to preach, accompany yon to the theatre ! which, with gambling houses, the race-course, and all places of public amuse- ment, are in full operation on the sabbath 1 Preaching one Sunday forenoon, he said, on conclusion, '-My bre- thren, I have the pleasure of informing you that Mr Booth, the tragedian, is arrived, in town, and will perform this evening in Richard III. at the St. Charles uieatre : he is a clever actor, and those who like a good perfor- mance cannot do better than to go and see him !" Their cheapest steamboat trip, $10, with board (for 1600 miles) is from Cincinnati to New Orleans, a perfect swamp, singular tQ choose as a residence, but mora so to \ IM r 6* ftfsi^. anndimed hf iua&&, iA 8vDwinpi)ttUx oomteotod with tlie Syracuse railroad station. If mttrsliy placed produ<^ mfklaria, how is it that the bogs or marshes of Ireland forming 700,000 acres, never do this? from the simple faci|;, and not the absurd legend of a papal mifacto, that they contain nothing tending .to decompose. A large tract in Gonnaught, now a Dog, was, not long sino«, ploughed land. If indolence has, in our time, nmde one DOg, no wonder that a country so abounding with idlers anc the disorderly should teem with them. We alone accomplished that god-send to Ireland, the draining and cultiyatinff her bog-land : vide Beaumont's Ireland, And how has this, as ^1 our 'other boons to that ungrateful people, been requited ? Let her own chronicles, steeped in blood and rebellion, answer me. AnEBiGANlSMS — FarziticT for far-as-I-lpiow. Sales at for &y auction. Bedk^ for bedwinek. A feed «ad cheekt dinner or luncheon. In full blast, means any thing in extreme. Compromit for compromise, as besure and to be sure by public speakers. Form and desk for bench and pulpit. Publishment for publication of bans ; and a for the consumption ; as coming prayerJultWayer/uUj/ymeach^ ery, bakery, paintery, printery, and bindery. Firstly, like ourselves, and £oan, as improperly for its substantive: whilst a house painted red designates the mistress is b6i^ or master; and the Troy Shakers say " I sense you to do it," famous for their Timothy seed, a grass first propa- igated by one Timothy Hanson. << The vpper ten thoir aristocracy, contraction of the upper ten thousand. Likely for intelligence and moral worth, and lot upon, anticipat- ing with fonuness or delight. Obligate, though in Johnson, we reject, but Americans accept, with qf-set for our seUoff^ find passage for passing, also ** a farm or house to rmtf** iktkd corrupt sludge and sloppy into slosh and sloshy. Sleigh, Webster writes sley, and sled for heavy articles ; we use sledge for both, though Johnson prefers sted. Stationer, from formerly keeping together in one station or street. Wilt, to wither, meaning plants exposed to the sun without Siifficient moisture, is common here as in the West of tlngland. A Syracu^ poke, vind a Cormeeticut shuffle, immy & shade between knavely and effrontery at cards. A Carolinian never keeps a store, but " ^we-hmtstT aioA ** merchandises." A planted always shucks, not husks his g[>m, nor opens, but «W;i^ clams and oysters: neither as he brooks or streams, but branches, runs, and creeks: or ft frost, but often o, freeze inov gallons of milk, but rnsMs. 55 gallotuf of mekl or com at aU times ; nerer a ^xmit stonn, but a MOton I'uot a good overeat deal of ai)y tUnt but right gmarit or smart chanes, or a heap, which are hi positire, comparatiye, and superlative represeatatiyes : whflst sweUihgs or boils he knows only as risings s and hit tihoat is the fresh pork of other Yankees, whom the Turks call YanH Dooniah, or the new world, and GhineS|d Englishmen of the second chopstick. A Carolina- ladV abhors a snuff-taker, yet consumes ^hree times as mucn herself by «* Dipping," i.e. ine**^ 'n^ ^r^pared brush intc the snuff-box, then conveying .1 to t mouth, and there sucking it like barleysugar, ejecting obnoxious parts, btit letting the rest pursue their owii course.'' , Cap-a-pie is an inyersioTi of de pieden-cap : nothing can be more affected than our substitution of accorich&nentt encientSi and chemise for their English equivalent: an (tceoucluur was first used by Madame de Yailidre, mistress of Louis XIV., on giving birth to the Princess de Oontl^ also adopting en /amille, to avoid, from jalse delicacy, the homely phrase of being with child — ^its real meaning is & family circle without strangers. And in like manner mis- apply exposi, signifying the exposition of a series of ft^ts, as an exposure of something wroug. This fastidiousness is illimitable in Americans, where a lady has changedher laundress for putting her linen into the same tub with that of a voung man's! and her sex universally announce a cock-fight as a chicken qtutrrel; though these gingerly sensitives, especially Southerns, can be served by naked nigger boys with perfect nonchalance. It was to correct this sort of mock-modesty that Moliere wrote his admirablis drama of '*Precieuses Ridicules." Our use of many other French words are open to the same censure, whicn ought to make us silent upon the blunders they commit in our own. Every state but Alabama and Florida has a mohtU name,: Massachusetts is vulgarised the Bay State ; Rhode Island, PlaV'tation State; Vermont, Green Mountain Boys or Banmr} New Hampshire, Granite r the best goverened, because its governor must have a property qualification, and its officials be Protestant; Oonnecticut, tVeestone; Maine, Xum&«r; New York, the Empire State } Penrtsyi- vania, Keystone; New Jersey, Jersey Blu£s; Delaware, JjittU Delaware; Maryland,. ilfont«ment to the afore- portions of the per mile, others ore, whilst their ae. Those of .ting lift, saying lis is of small expended on [, without any le average of le shilling per |wice as far per are by incen- the trial of a Hourthouse at long, one in itch of cotton. )ffice, theatre, houses were jity of Mobile, well known, rk Merchants' with Bribish iring & Co. J rings, as they » responsible A man stack up his portrait in a window at Banbury^ Oxford., labelled " Wanted a female companion to the above, apply within." If this be thouffht strange, what arowe to tbink of the following? Thi Siamese united twhis having acquired oonsiderable property by exhibiting theihselves m Europe, purchased a plantation m Carolina^ America, and there settled. Extract— "On thuraday, Apr! 13, 184a, married at Wilks county. North Garolina» by John Colby Bparks, of the Baptist Church, Messrs uie Quean of Spfin UteljLorMted her phyiiolan GMtello, MbxquiM of IIeelth» wmoh ii in •ooordanoe with Speniih praoiioei of fixing on some quel|iy or rirtue in railing an indiyidual to toe peerage who haa no territorial poMeisioni) hence among ^on- profeMionala we find the Dulce of Victory and the Duke of Fidelity. The son of Dr Addiugton obtained that dit- tinotion» but he did not follow the profeMion of hia father. Only two noblemen that I hare been able to diicorer, eter •tuaied the art| liord Trimletton, who exerjcised it for the benefit of the poor, and Lord Qlenbenrie — in whose library, at hiB gequestered villa in Bushev Park^ I have passed many happy hours — ^whe oriffindly studied it as a pro> feMien, bat afterwards forsook for the ciyil service, which brought him hh title. The income of Now York corporation is $1,900,300, but spends $2,363,028, hence its debt of $28,791,680 1 The State of New York $461,700, but spends double, as is the ease with Pennsylvania, and much worse with Georgia* Michigan, and Mississippi. Where the income of one or two Ste^ shall be greater than the outgoings, there shall be debt^ and a pretty heavy one too; Alabama has a surplus revenue, and yet her debt oxcoeds ten millions. And where the disbursements exceed the returns, there •hall be no incumbrance ; North Carolina spends a vast deal more than she receives, nevertheless we are told she owes nothing: illustration — Virginia recently announced $31,000,000 as her evUirecUbtt but a vigilant inquirer pre- •ently cUsoovered ten miliiom more ! A few of tne leading cities have an indebtedness of $200,000,000 on their own hook, and an official document from the general govern- ment adds $348,841,640 more 1 excluding those of their repudiating states. Meanwhile these sharpers finding their old schemes for raising money useless, resorted to new in the shape of enactments for paying interest on former loans : Alabama leading off witn a mighty flourish that she'd soon right herself with England, which has long past without a shilling appearing. The Oovemor of Florida adopted the infamous doctrine of repudiation in his last legislative speech. And whilst Illinois is spending four .times its income, and its last Message owned, " Our State is overloaded with debt," still they announce thut impoverished region as a paradise for settlers. As the ostracism of the Greeks, the proscriptions of the Romans* the banishments of Venice, and the murders of France ITEMS. M andar her Direotorv ftnd OoiiTention« aU proolaim th^ terrible march of tyranny in a republic, ao doei thia attbjeot alike announce its unblushing dereliction from aU ties of ffratitude and pecuniary obligation. The United States, when subject to England, contri- buted but £90,000 a year for governing themselres, rii,, Massachusetts Bav £9000; New Hampshire and Bhod^ Island £3600 each ; Oonneoticut £4000 ; Pennsylvania and New York States £4600 each ; Now Jersey £1200 ; Virginia and South Carolina £8000 each; and so on, without increasing their liabilities ; contrast this wiUi the foregoing passages on debt and expenditure, and we shall have a pretty fair specimen of republican economy. No man of Dusiness when in a flourisning condition, as thest States affirm they all are, wants to l)orrow money, nor another at ease in his possessions, to raise a loan. Any designing knave may fit up his premises with every exterior of prosperity, and by the help of these appear- ances, borrow money of others, and, for a season, pass pfi in flourishing circumstances, but this we pronounce swindling, not the result of fair and honest industry. The late eminent banker Wright, of Henrietta Street, Covent Garden, brought ruin on himself and partners by trusting the United States Bank and grunting mortgages on equally worthless land lots in New York State ; one on which he had advanced $100,000, fetched, on bringing to sale, only $6000 1 Nothing can more strongly proye the ' propensity of this republic to delusion, than the notorious fact that whilst, by her hired agents, making every corner of Europe ring again with marvellous rela- tions of her prosperity, she should be deeply indebted to the individuals — mark her cunning) not the governments forming that Europe — to whom she is maJcing these mendacious declarations. The principle of monarchy is honour and integrity, but the history of all ages, frorp ^iic various republics oi ancient days down to those in our own time, tell us that the principle of republicanism is knavery and aggression. On inspecting an affecting document in the Spanish and Portuguese Committee room. Old Swan, we riiui find the most mghiful instances of individual misery and desola- tion through lending £100,000,000 to States of the above- raentioned character, wiUiout being able to obtain n fraction of principal or interest. There is no law to meet such fraudulent acts, pity there wasn't, from the same principle, I apprehend, tliat the Bomaas had none ' M \ H ITEMS. . to punish parricide, because 'twas thought impossible that any one could be found depraved enough to commit iti On the commander of the American frigate Essex arriving at Nukahiva, the best of the Marquesas, he If^ided, and depositing a sealed bottle in a certain aper- tibe, then departed. Soon after came H. M. ships Tagus and Briton, Captains Sir T. Staines and Pipon, who dis- embarking, accidentally found said bottle, which, on opening, exhibited divers papers, stating that the inhabi- tants had given their Island to the Imited States, and were sworn enemies to the English. Whereupon our officers assembling the king, priests, and principal chiefs, laid the matter before them to ascertain if this were the fact ; but they denied, with great indignation, all know- ledge thereof, and highly incensed at such conduct, begged to be received under the protection of England. Com- modore Jones, profiting by this example, seized upon Monterey, a defenceless town in California, on his oirn responsibility, as President Tyler stated, when addressisd by Congress on the subject, not for its reprobation, but to inquire if any thing could be gained by it. The conse- quences lof such conduct often fall upon the wrong per- sons ; thus a Yankee trader landing at a Southern Island sold the natives divers kegs of gunpowder, which, on unpacking, proved to be sand. Soon after an English vessel was wrecked on the coast, when the crew getting safe ashore^ were immediately surrounded by the natives, who taking them for the countrymen of these cheating Yankees, thereupon slew every one of them. These acts, however, do not always escape censure even in Congress, as Mr Adams, in a late debate on the Navy, observed : ** And what is the interest of that navy to the country ? This navy, perhaps, will go and insult some country with whom we are at peace, or invade some other country .whose navy is weaker than ours, as has been done already. . What good, I ask, is really done to the country by that navy?" A dead silence. The Raritan, when in New York harbour, lost 30 men in one night by desertion, a common thing in their navy and tony — M.A.129. The Chesapeake lay in Norfolk, Virginia, imable to sail for want of hands, notwithstand- ing a bounty of £9 per man : whilst the Constellation, at Boston, was detained for debts due by government, and her purser arrested to enforce payment. Her 10 naval chaplains (we have 109) now officiate in black and silk gowns. Her nursery for seamen stretching only firom ITEMS. 63 ^ew York to the St. Oroix nyer, of her 109|000 sailors, but 9000 are natives. As she therefore can become troublesome to other nations only as a maratime one, it is in the power of England, so long as she retains heir North American provinces, to prevent her becomine for* midable. .The> American attache at St. Petersburgh, near- ing that his national ships of war were detained because no one would accept- American security, in a letter of Dec. 20, 18' , (vide New York Com. Advertiser,) says, ** Many of my countrymen 3000 miles away, have no idea of the odium attached to the American chara<$ter by those who have heard of our doctrine of repudiation : the injury is beyond all \.f .Iculation : is there no one to tell this to the people?" What would Dr Hagan, editor of the Vicksburgh Sentinel, and originator of repudiation, have said to this authority had he not been assassinated in Vicksburgh, for other editorial delinquencies, by Judge Adams' son ? as was Mr Ryan, his successor, about a year after, by Mr Hammett, of the Vicksburgh Whig. I)r Hagan lost by fire his memoirs of Paul Jones, pro- perly John Paul as his father's gardener to Mr Craik, Arbigland, Kirkcudbright, whom his misconduct sent to a premature grave: when dismissed from the services of kussia, he repaired to Paris, to be near his native land Scotland, from which his outrages towards her had exiled him, in which city he expired, July 18, 1792, of dropsy, hastened by remorse and neglect. The last of his com- panions; with those of Captain Cook, died in 1842: also A.y6. New York packets, paying pilots £10 for taking into harbour, after 10 years are sold into the New Orleans line ; if, in Spring and Summer, having 50 passengers, they quarantine, at Staten Island, the expenses of this station are defrayed by the navigation tax, $1 steerage, and $1^ cabin passengers, besides yielding a revenue of $100,000. Substituting coffee and cocoa for grog, in their temperance ships, enabling the crews to endure greater fatigue, insurance ofGices take them at a less pre- mium. Our naval and East India Company's officers are professionally educated and examined, and the shipping of both consequently well navigated ; not so those of ordinary trading vessels, half their losses at sea arise from the ignorance and incapacUy of them and their crews. 'Twas a saying of. Mr Randolph that the expenses of Congress, nearly $3,000,000 per session, were an Augean gtable that for ;20 yjan he had endeavoured to cleanse, \ 1 1:1 I :! i ^ ITEMd. but gare up in despair. To this frightful list of defaulters gf.A.180) must now be added Macnalty, clerk of the ouse. A person lately travelled from Michigan after the situation of door-keeper, but failing, became candidate for chaplain, which he nearly obtained, but got the keepdtship of the straight gallery, or Blakk-hole of Cat- eutta. An eye-witness says that the last session of Con- gress was so Tulgar and uproarious, whilst Mr Speaker iiras assailed with every sort of missile, that he withdrew disgusted from the pandemonium scene ; the ladies hob- nobbing with the members, kept up a perfect hurricane till long after midnight. Mr Weller, of Ohio, called on the clerk to tell stories for their amusement, naming one himself, the Landing o/Lafavette, which, notwithstanding its apparent patriotism, is replete with smut and obscenity. The correspondent of the New York Express, in writing from Washington, thus speaks of them, " No where wiu you find human nature so conspicuously degraded as amongst the drunkards, low-lifed, and ill-bred blackguards of the House of Representatives. They fall into the clutches of the police ; they violate the ordinances of the city; thqy gamble from sun-set to sun-light; they howl through the streets, reeking from the midnight revels ef bagnios, and they do all this with impunity, for they govern the District of Columbia, and Washington, in a political sense, is theirs." Van Buren's last message — ^formerly an hostler, and Pre- sident Polk originally kept a grog-shop — stated that his expenditure had been much below his income : but Daniel Webster proved he had exceeded it full $7,000,000 a year ; -which had no better effect on Van than causing him to leave office with another fabrication, viz : " I leave a fidl treasury and no debt for my successor** ; but the first public announcement of that successor. General Harrison, was " My predecessor has left the General Government $20,000,000 in debt, and not a single dollar in the trea- sury.** Cooper's Ravenerst says, " In no part of the world is it more difficult to get truth into the public mind, when there is a motive to Fippress it, than among ourselves.'* The American forces (10,000) unable to subdue the Seminole Indians (600), Congress ordered packs of Spanish bloodhounds to assist in doing so ! Those amused with a superlative amount of bombast, should confabulate with officers in said army: Generial Moreau's opinion of one, when residing itk America — N.37 — is by no means over- Strained, coiuorming with the morality that prevails in ITEMS. 65 efaulten Ic of the ;an after andidate got the ! of CaU of Con- Speaker nthdrew dies hob- urricane sailed on ning one standing }scenity. I writing liere wifl raded as skguards into the 3S of the ey howl •evels ef 'or they :)n, ia. A mdPre- that his ; Daniel a year; him to e a full he first Etrrison, rnment te trea- B world 1, when ives." ue the •panish with a ;e with of one, over- alls in their nursery ef^tablishpient at West Pointy repeated in- vestigations proving that when these gentUmm cadets are out in camp, three j^arts of them are often so inebriati^' as to require surveilahce to prevent injuring others or themselves. After the burial of cadet Heath one half his companions were in complete intoxication, whilst the! other half, excepting perhaps a dozen, challenged each other to a trial of profane language Other witnesses stated that said gentlemen cadets were constantly barter- ing their bedding for liqueurs and segars, and by way of finale, introducing ^2es dea Joiest under all manner of dis« guises into their said abode of purity and innocence. The parliamentary fees on private bills are applied in paying all expenses of the House, which they not only do, but leave a surplus for the Consolidated Fund. Every private bill in the Canadian Legislature now pays a fee of £20, which, if rejected, is returned : the economy of cer- tain members themselves printers or the friends of them, to save £100 to copying clerks, assigned their work to the printer at a charge of £1000 : a mode of retrenchment originated by their ex-member MacKenzie, himself a prin- ter, radical and rebel, whose party are now in power through the new-light principles of English statesmen, namely — rewarding treason and punishing loyalty. And after doubling their own wages, agreeably to the selfish principle of making a profit and loss accompt of every transaction in life, created from amongst themselves .ten ministers for the province, (the vast British Empire has but thirteen^ at high salaries, by such like ecorwrny^ trebling the expenditure of the colony : a main cause of all those disgraceful doings therein, over and above entrusting power to men not only unfitted for it, but themselves re- quiring restraint, and that too after the fashion of Rehp- boam of old, arise, no doubt, from the incessant changes of our colonial Ministers, numbering, from 1827 to 1840, Bathurst, Huskisson, Murray, Goderich, Stanley, Spring Bice, Aberdeen, Glenelg, Normanby, and John Russell. The Governor General had two perquisites, on marriage licenses and custom-house seizures, these Sir Charles Metcalfe surrendered to the colonial treasury, which, being a rich man himself, he could well afford to do, but as another coming after him may not have that advantage, he has therefore committed a wrong towards his suc- cessor: he might have returned those perquisites, but should not have surrendered them : he is in the wrong country, and amongst the wrong people for acts of libe- '1 Ml ttKMB. ttHtyttttSdag ttf t6rtMponn to one- Walker, gati/e, in »ugh the louse of it in the Sheriff costs I .g's evil, Lch, and the ex- is phy- 92,107 1 mor of h sup. ) made ed, un. 1 Eng-, . His )rment nd. I some- fMid. he re» - The e, and I did,'* >d thoi d - country,*' hot then how far this might trench on his capa* bility 6f making a will is another affair, and our law, by^ the failure of his sister's suit, would not entertain. ' Un. less possessing evidence of an unquestionable tendency, 'tis useless to attempt upsetting a will, as o.ur courts are very properly averse to interfere with this memorial of the dead. Parkins was in no great favor with a London pubHo from his alledged conduct towM*ds a> man named Byrne, which I believe to be wholly unmerited. 'Tis one thing, and the easiest, to propogate slander, but another, and the hardest, to refute it. The law of libel has been recently revised, to check these scandalous ebullitions, neverthe. less there is a great deal yet left undo*" . So eager are the million after defamation, that one print of this des* cription, filled with the vilest scurrility against every body and every thing, seen only in coffee shops, and sold by street hawkers to evade the law, and at the low charge of a penny to ensure customers, that in a few eastern streets, produces its vender a weekly profit of 30s. The Puritan settlers of America whilst exterminating the Indians as a means of extending their own dominion, had their minstrels in this unscrupulous object. " Bove. weirs Fight." "The Gallant Church." "Smith's Affair at Sidelong Hill." and "The Godless French Soldier." are their chief: Barlow, Trumbull, D wight, and other Connecticut rhymesters, lent their aid in the revolution : their main song-writer — the profane and vulgar Fre. neau — died in poverty twelve years since; those in New England, from their style and character, parson Peters stigmatised as " Psalms and Hymns adapted to the tastes of Yankee rebels." "The Patriot's Aippeal" appeared eight years before the Declaration ot Indepeudence. Others, led by Dr. Prime of New York, bitterly assailed the stamp act. The Boston " Ballad of the Tea Party," contains — O'er their heads in loftj mid.sky, Three bright angel forms were seen, >> This was Hampden, that was Sidney, With fair liberty between : which I quote for the purpose of advising the admirers of that after-dinner sentiment at democratic meetings, "The cause for which Hampden died in the field and Sidney on the scaffold," to peruse Blencowe's edition of " Lord Bom. ney*s Diary of the Times of Charles II." with Sir John Dalrymple's appendix of original letters in the revolution \ 70 ITEMS. of 1688, extracted, by permisuon, from King William Ill's box ef letterR in Kensington palace, and they will then learn that those patriots thus highly extolled, were ac- tually the hired minions of France for effecting the changes and transactions of that time ! In this age of statues to everybody and nobody, one was erected June 18, 1843, to this name patriot Hampden, in Ghalgrove-fields, Bucks, where he fell, at which the promoters, on learning these facts, must feel no small mortification. When Sir Robert Walpole lay on his death bed at Houghton Hall, his son Horace proposed to read to him a work on the revolution of 1688. The expiring prime minister, with a most bitter smile, replied, " No, no, Horace, read history to any Oi.:^ but me, who happens to know how false it is." So much for the patriots of former days, and are they . ill im- {)roved in ours ? not a jot — save in duplicity and cunnine ; lence every historical antiquarian of any note, from the celebrated Heame down to our present Sir Henry Ellis, is consequently a conservative. The Columbian revolutionary bards were distanced by the tory or British party, their wittiest " The Cow Chace. is the unfortunate Major Andre's, whose last surviving sister died May 3, 1845, aged 93; its answer, "American Taxation," said to be Gleeson's, is really Dr. Franklin's, who might well be ashamed of such trash. Mr. Rich, of Red Lion Square, American bookseller, was engaged on a work of this nature when I was last in England. Macar- thy, Philadelphia, has published 3 vols, dedicated to " Patriotic." " Military." and " Naval Americans." I saw a copy of Pliny, in New York, dated 1476, price $20. There is unquestionably much liberty and indepen- dence in our country, with, unfortunately, a great deal of the rottenness and licentiousness of what is Wisely called freedom : let any honest man peruse the parliamentary de- bates during the American revolution, and he will be dis- fusted with the speeches in defence of treason and re- ellion ; in which the warmest sympathy and kindness are manifested for rebels, and the loyalists treated with dis- dain and contempt : and is furthermore forced to the con- viction, that what is called American independence, was achieved in the House of Commons, and not by the insur- gents. In this M^y England has always been betrayed by er own factious politicians and degenerate sons. Do w» not all know that at the beginning of the French revolu- tion, acts and deeds of the most revolting nature could find advocates in a British senate, whilst the defenders of ITEMS. n UiamUI'i will then I were ac- e changes statues to ), 1843, to Is, Bucks, ing these iir Robert U, his son evolution ost bitter any Oi.:^ So much ill im- cunning ; from the T Ellis, is ;anced by r Chace/' mrviving Vmerican ranklin's, Rich, of ged on a Macar- ;ated to ' I saw . 120. :a ndepen- deal of called tary de- be dis- and re- ness are ith dis- he con- ce, was 3 insur- ed by )o we^ reyolu- } could iers of their country were there also stigmatised as the slares of tyrants. And in the late disturbances of Oanada, did not similar eulogiums arise from the same rfuarter, which, in fiset, begat uiem. A happier people did not exist than the French Canadians before said, outbreak; and could thev be otherwise, seeing that they had the full enjoyment of tneir own language, laws, and institutions, and contri- buted nothing to the goremment of the country or pro- tection of themselves, all being defrayed by an impost (not a tenth so much as America levies on the same articles) upon merchandise arriving at Quebec, and con- sumed by the British population. No corresponding in- stance can be quoted, oi a conquered people left in the entire possession of all their natural rights and privileges, by their conquerors, who also protect and defend them in the same, nor, lot me add,, can greater ingratitude be found, than that which they have shown for such unexam- pled generosity. Griffintown is the Helot quarter of Montre al, because inhabited by the low Irish, who pounce on every fence and loose article as lawful prey ; no respectable person I cares to enter it in the day time, nor any one after dark. Notre Dame cathedral fell greatly below my expectations; the exterior may perhaps pass but the interior is one vast space, with two tier of galleries, without any subdivision, so that the oflHoial can't even be seen, much less heard, by a mass of the assembly, which originated with the priests, who, from this specimen, appear to know as little about architecture as they do of toleration. Its paintings, as in their other edifices, are wretchedly executed. They eat on Oood Friday hot-cross buns, a corruption of bo-tm, or sacred bread offered by the Greeks to tneir gods, of whom they had some 30,000 1 The stiff black cowl worn erect on their heads by the priests here, has an unsightly and grotesque appearance, in imitation of the Pope's tiara or mitre, partially adopted by ourselves, which, anciently, was a head ornament worn by loose and effeminate men, hence the phrase, " He is worthy of a mitre" did then de- note that he was either a fop or a fool. I always thought the insigna a very undignified one, which this information does not tend to lessen. Their charges for obsequies over the dead vary from £60, to £100, £200 and £300, (those for a lady whom I knew, were £60, which compelled her sons, she being poor and reduced, to make many-sacrifices to discharge,) against which not a whisper is ever heard, but if a modicum only of the first mentioned of these ' I ;^iiii ; i!^ 72 ITEMS. enormous ohftrges were enforced by any official in our ohureh, would not the whole province ring with denunci- ations against our grasping and rapacious clergy. Hogan's <^ Synopsis of Popery, a cideyant Catholic priest, now of the American Frotestant Church, says, ** On returning firom morning service in St. Mary's Ghurch, Fhiladelphia, of which I was pastor, I usually found six and eight children, whose parents were Protestants, in the arms of their Roman Catholic nurses to be baptised, un- willing to come in contact even with heretic infants, be- lieving them damned unless baptized by a Bomish priest : a common practice in all Protestant countries where there are Catholic Priests." Every incident, however minute* happening in those Protestant families, was likewise com- municated at the Confessional, an engine of inconceiv- able power for working evil. To please the intractable French, on vhom favors and concessions make no impression, nor ever will whilst so treated, the seat of government has been removed to Montreal, a large and populous city, with many handsome and elegant structures, minus 200 annually n'om intem- perance, and its adjunct, immorality, kept women and courtezans (600) absorb £1000 weekly. In Dec. 1844, 'twas visited by the shock of an earthauake : its remark- able one '"^f 1663 changed the face of tne whole province, uprooted ibrests, overturned mountains, diverted the course of rivers, and continued, with slight intermission, for six months 1 The island on which it stands is 70 miles in circumference : some call it a corruption of Mount Hoy alt after Cartier in 1636 ; the heights of said moun- tain, 800 feet high, are covered with lofty trees that often exhibit at night, an unexplained phenomenon of a brilliant light moving between their tops and apex, which I have myself seen. Even numbers appear on one side of its streets, and odd ones the other ; vacant lots are also num- bered, so that no confusion arises as new houses appear ; the avalanches of snow from their tinn'd and unparapetted roofs makes it dangerous walking in winter, which seldom passes without lives being lost by them. One would sup- pose its shopkeepers Jews, like tnose in Paul street, since the price for the^ame article, in different ones, varies from 26 and 50, to cent per cent, and ordinarily abate on the same scale : from my own observations and the expe- rience of others, I believe them to be as unscrupulous in their dealings as any on the continent of America; whilst their villa and terrace residences display every exterior of HEMS; 7» lial in oar 1 denunoi- T- t Catholic says, ** On 'b Ghttrch, found lix vaU, in the itised, un- nfantB, be- ilsh priest : rhere there er minute, Bwise com- inconceir- farorfi and I whilst BO Bmoved to handsome om intem- omen and )ec. 1844, ts remark- ) provincef erted the ermission, nds is 70 L of Mount iid moun- hat often brilliant h I have ide of its Iso num- appear ; brapetted Ji seldom buld sup- eet, since ^s, yaries [abate on the expe- pulous in i; whilst Iterior of ftrittrooratio illusion, but, on •ntering, their loud, boiste- rous, shopooraoy airs quiekly dispel : would I could say as much lor honesty in their indebtedness. Buch is the sway of parade and friroltty that eren Snip calls himself a MercMfU-taUor. Their carters term TFoo, is Norman French for stop, and Oee^ Qerman from Gehen, to go. A lady and gentleman rise daily at 4 o'clock, breakfast at 6, lunch at 9f comprising a beefsteak, ride out in their carriage until 1, then return and dine oflf another steidr; afterwards renew their airing until 5, when they sup off two dried herrings, and ^o to bed at 6, from which they never deviate, receive visits, or make them. Their neigli- bour, a maiden lady, on frosty nightB, places apples out- side the window of her chamber, and next morning sits thereat ravenously devouring them : she plunges her head and pillow every ni^ht into cold water, then, thus dripping, gets into bed : having, in the prime of life, every exterior of premature age. On a friend riding round the moun- tain with another, upon coming to the late Mactavish's house, Bomethinff escaped about its being haunted, at which my friend smiled. Well, rejoined the other, let that pass; you know the estates which I inherit from Madam , they are endeared to me from the fol- lowing incident : her physicians ordered her to a milder climate; when in her voyage thereto, she suddenly ex- claimed one night at sea, that she should die before morn- ing, and at the moment that two doves alighted on the ship, wmch was then a 1000 miles from land, and no such bird had ever been seen in that latitude : when lo ! at the third watch two flew in at the cabin door, as a heavy sigh closed her mortal career. They were secured ; one Ims since died, but the other I still possess. The clerk of Parliament House (burnt April 26, 1849) rented of the corporation, had nearly finished a new room for members, when the civic authorities demolished it under the plea of a bye-law against erecting any but of stone or brick, though a Canadian, hard by, was building two wooden cottages with full liberty and license. One night a Frenchman shot an Englishman in the street, but the ball striking against his ribs saved his life, though in- validing him for months : the Judge, on the culprit's trial, designating this a Common Assault! sentenced him to a few weeks imnrisonment, which, on plea of health, was afterwards reauced I In the lobW of the House were full length portraits of Georges IH., IV. and Queen Victoria, sv ^ounded by many kit-cats, all Frenchmen, headed by r 74 ITBMBt Papineau, orlgiiMior of the •rebellion, who, on hit retvn> fkx>m France, whither he had fled to eioape the penaltiei of treason, whilst Us confederates hare oeen rewarded with appointments, was actually offered the Premiership I but refused because demanding conditions that womd hare niiade the Oovemor his dependent I yet that Qorer- nor could send a special message to the House, recom- mending paying 4^ years salary as speaker (£4,600) the time his misdeeds had suspended him, which they did I besides conferring grants and places on his family I never- theless he is at his old trade. This House passed an Act for better observing the sabbath, operating only in Upper Oanada, because French Ganadians spend it in hunting, « shooting, fiddling, dancing, and holding auctions at Church; doors Mter Mass 1 A French member changed his domi^i . oile because its proprietor, an Englishman, objected to his flraunbling and playing cards on nmdayt. The loyal Upper Oanadian settlers conceive themselves not only aoandoned but insulted by these and a thousand similar acts. After the great fire at Quebec in 1846, £120,000, with £80,000 in clothing were forwarded from England for the sufferers ; meantime a collision with the states being ex« ; pected, thQ Militia of the Province were called out for S training, but not one half of those in Quebec, recipienta. * of this bounty, condescended to attend who, after some insolent speecnifving, walked home again. On a report ■ reaching England that part of the foregoing munificence was to be applied in widening streets, a remonstrance waa i< answered by flatly denying, on affidavit, that such an in- < ^ tention was ever entertained : subsequent facts, however,.' proved that it not onlv was, but afterwards went into ac- . ^ tual operation, preceded by the clothing selling at there various stores or Quebec for as much as it would fetch! vide Montreal Courier, May 26, 1846. Land uniformly sells in Lower Canada at 4s. per acre, /: a U. E. receiving £40 in lieu of 200 acres : <* 1,639,674 J were sold, and 16,000 patents issued from the United. States Land Office last year, still this department in Ca- nada is, for that period, 600 cases in arrear : the attention, of its subordinates appears to be so engrossed with their - . own importance, and appeasing the importunities of dunav. as to leave very little for the discharge of their duties; i if these clerks cant live on their salaries, others should be found who can : this ultimately originated a Legisla*^ tive Bill for correcting, but which was disannulled by the . naketo hey re- irriving none at g thorn to despise religion, said the rerolutionaiy ItirabcAa, and they'll soon b^me heroes in liberie. In an old Hebrew M.S. mislaid, the malefactors siiifer- ifng with our Lord were named Israeli and Cohen. Ta- citus calls them Cretans, and Judea, thence Jews, fromi^ mount idai. Though he is said to utter lOO orisons dafly, B^ after the manner of a Jesuit, he conceives no treaty with a gentile binding, if it be his interest to brei^ it. lie also wears charms, but conceals and /denies, preparied by his high-priest or elder ; comprising a string oi lea- ther plaited into drop-knots. The ancieiit toll upon Bqw Bridge, so named from its single arch, the first in England of stone, erected, 1118, by Queen Matilda, for a cart- load of com or wood was a penny, but if carrying a dead Jew eight pence, 'tis now removed and replaced oy ano- ther of granite and one arch. "Their dissimulation is without parallel." Finn's Spain. By closely observing them in their deportment, synagogues, sickness and bu- rial of their dead, I consider them the least devotional of mankind. In this remarkable age for a perversion or one- sided view of things a ^reat deal is apt to escape about th^ persecution, but nothmg or no truth as to the cause whicU Drought that persecution (?) upon them. Let one of theu! advocates walk into a prison, and ask its inmates what brought them to that place, and he will be astonished, by their answers, that sucn innocents should be found therjB. If the moral of ihis do not convince, I am by no means san- guine that any argument wiH. ,^^ " Rich as a Jew." not that he is more so than any other but that his substance being m specie gives him the ap- pearance of it, though subject to much exaggeration, as' 'twas currently reported of Goldschmidt, who destroyed himself at M ertbn, that a £20,000 Banknote, framed and glazed, hung over his mantle-piece ! when his accomptant assured me that his property never doubled that sum. Iq- dividiial Hebrews may take contracts for loans, but others find the money ; they are simply the agente, and about tJie only ones that profit by them, especiuly foreign loans, in which catch a Jewholder if you can after due exercise qt the brill and bear. They date from the creation 3760 years B.Gi hence adding A.D. 1847, makes 6607, theiip year : but some of the more rigid still preserve eigbf Epocha — from the Creation ; from the Deluge ; from the confusion of tongues ; from Abraham's jou^oey into Ca- naan ; from th > night out of Egypt ; from the year of ^e Jubilee; from building Solomon's Temple; and from the 78 ITEBiS. m Qabyloaian oaptivity. Sir J. Marsham's learned work pit^res the Jewish rites were of Egyptian origin, and Oart- Wright's £lecta» etc, 1648, first applied their more ancient writinsni to an illustration of the Sible. 'Note : Petrarch's fly-leaf date of 1374, is the oldest numeral one known : printers say that the Italic character is an imitation of his careless hand-writine, which is a mistake as its small i's were not dotted till the 11th century, when Petrarch was not bom till 1306. Ancient Hebrews whilst reprobating the slightest warmth of metaphor in the ritual of surrounding nations, forgot the very extraordinary ones of their own In the Songs of Solomon, which no Jew was permitted to read till 30 years of a^e ; and esteemed Moses as the meekest of men, not- withstanding Exodus c. 2, y. 12, and Deuteronomy c. 32, T. 61. ** On the coast of Garimania is a burning naphtha spring which tradition receives as the identical burning bush of Moses." — See Beaufort's Travels. There is some inconsistency in retaining the services of a people whom their own conduct will not allow us to respect, wnilst they are superseded by the christian dispensation ; but as bigots wont understand me and fanatics cant, what natu- i^y suggests itself upon this occasion is left to the read< er's meditation. .Then as to the Hebrew Ellipsis, take an example, from Job 35 — 8, literally translated " To-man-as thou wicked- ness-thine and-to-son-man righteousness-thine. " Our au- thorised version thus fills up the hiatus, " Thy wickedness fnag/ hurt a man as thou art, and thy righteousness ma^ profit the son of man." A language not less meagre, than incomprehensive and the most defective of any other, obvi- ously that they were the most ignorant and brutal of the human race. — ^Dr. Bernard's unfinished ApoUonious in the Bodlean, Halley, though no arabician, completed by the force of his sagacity ! Its pronunciation is without doubt lost, since its eminent professor. Yon Haven, travelling in Arabia, could neither understand the natives, nor they him. Having hundreds of names for the same thing, makes its attainment any thing but easy or even desirable. Af- ter the same way the lieges of a continental principality, with a standing army of sotne four score men, and a reve- nue of as many pounds, are known for their multitudi- nous and lofty-sounding titles: a folly not exclusively theirs, for when the Duke of Albuquerque, Spanish minis- ter in England, died at London, it took nearly a column of the Times to enumerate his dignities. r. r ■*. ITEMS. n Lord Mountowherf purchase of AmherBt Island for £10,000, already returns £3,000 yearly, A.264. The O'Gonnell flEiction, which he opposes, assert he married his serrant — the truth is this — on making the grand tour, his. Lordship had a dangerous illness, during which he wn)i ▼isited hy a member of The Sisters of C% though, that of Gran- chester, near Cambridge, and Old Upton, by Slough, re- markable for its ivy-mantled tower, prefer some claims : 'twas 7 years in hand : its original manuscript, containing five stanzas omitted in printed editions, was lately bought by Mr Penn, aforesaid, ^or £100. ^ Robert Hall's Apology for the Press, says " Piety flou- trishes much more amongst Dissenters than ecclesiastical establishments : nothing is wanted in any country to make ITEMS. 81 the thinking part of it imposters, but a splendid establish- ment." More disinterested, and thereiore safer judges than yourself, the learned and well-informed on the con- tinent, entertain another opinion, who, when speaking of our divines, use the phrase, now become a proverb, of " Clerici Anglieqni stv/por mwndi" The Enslish clerffy are the world's wonder. And when any of nieir Lutheran ministers excels in preaching, it is also as proverbial to add " Percipimvs hwno hominem Juisse in Anglia." We Eerceive this man has been in England. From whom ave the greatest works in support of the christian religlbn emanated ? Why clergymen and dignitaries of the Church of England : would men, therefore, who are thus stigma- tised as not being sincere in their religion, be at so much cost and labor to defend it? Arrows from your own quiver shall smite you : Mr Irons, nonconformist of Gam- berwell, said in a sermon " 'Tis the climax of inconsis- tency for Dissenters to keep up a hue and cry about griev- ances that nobody feels, and perpetuate a clamor for re- ligious liberty of which nobody is deprived : whilst they tolerate doctrines the most blasphemous, and for discipline in their churches set up republicanism. I am a consci- entious dissenter, but no democrat, nor can I become one without first rejecting my Bible." Dr. Adam Clarke, the ablest Wesleyan since their founder, has this passage in his Travels, *' O, England, blessed asylum of all that is worth having upon earth ! O, sanctuary of religion, and of liberty for the whole civilized world ! It is only in view- ing the state of other countries that thy advantages can be truly estimated ? Where'er I roam, whatever realms to see, Mv hea' ; untraTell'd fondly turns to thee." The better informed of the American press, originate continual proofs of the tottering coxidition of their re- public, from the sheer inability of self-government to pro- duce ought else save evil and mischief, which Washington soon found out, and their best writers have since endorsed : as the only means of averting this calamity they propose an election to the councils of the country, men who nave characters to lose, property to protect, and integrity to guide them : but i^ such men are without doubt obnoxious to the rabble mob of electors, will they give them their suffrage ? I trow not, nor ever will, until, to secure their own happinesG,and the real welfare of all, they find some way of their own to help themselves in that matter. As an illustration take the following anecdotes ; ^ -- 7 y - > 82 ITEMS. H -^\ A brief tojoum in some radical constituenoy of Eng- ^lanU — Manchester, Finsbury, or Whitechapel to wn, would) I'm persuaded, produce similar results as that ox Sir F. Burdett's with tne sweet groupe of that order ^tn the good city of Westminster, namely, disgust, and volun- tarily joining the ranks of Conservatives. (To whom did Sir Francis beoueath the two pens used in signing the hollow treaty or Amiens, which cost him £600 ?) Before Sir T. B- — , Bart., a liberal, left America, he called his democratic friends together, and thus addressed them, *' I came here, as ye all Know, an admirer of your system ; after many years clos' ly watching its working, I go home shorn of that admiration. If I succeed in get- Hug into parliament, as 'tis my intention to att»)mpt, I will introduce a bill for abolishing all punishment against treason and sedition, and substitute a few years banish- L..3nt to the United States, that will effect a perfect cure." i nother Englishman, after 16 years residence, left for the «:ame reason ; vide his " United States as tJtev are, not a$ "^erally described; being a cure JW radicaltam." — Long- ro^^a & Go. The noted radical, Gourlay's Banished Bri« ton says *' During four years residence in these United States, I have witnessed far worse than European domi- nation; the domination of the worst passions; mobs, murder, sacrilege, and profanity of every kind." Aware of this degradation, radicals, delighting like tittlebats to Bwim in shallow water, have lately invented a new name for their party, that of liberal, which though they regard as the cunning of the Fox, exhibits in reality the weakneils of the Ostrich, who, thrusting her head only into some hillock or bush, foolishly imagines herself to be concealed from her pursuers. Insanity has fearfully increased in the States, from the impositions of sectarian vagabonds, the Millerite phantasm alone sending hundreds to madhouses. These impostors pretend to work miracles, thus one of them seeks accom- modation for the night ir ; ome f:.rm house, and soon after going to bed feigns great Jlnesu, which, by the mornins;, apparently kills nim ! whf n, as previoucly concerted, his confederate knocks at the 3oor : on being admitted and told what has happened, he replies " Fear not, I am a Mormon priest and will soon bring him to life," which, after prac- tising some mummeries, is of course effected. This was re- cently enacted at a farmer'sin Syracuse, New York State. ?J. The Millerite delusion has been a favourite in all ages ;With the weak and ignorant, and sometimes the crafty and ITBlfSi t 8t r of Eog. 1 to wH, as that of ) order ^in >nd volun- whom did gning the nerica, he addressed ir of your working, I ed in get- itt»5mpt, I It against 's banish- ect cure.** ift for tho re, not a» "— Long- shed Bri- ie United )an domi- s; mobfl, Aware lebats to ew name y regard weakness ito some oncealed rom the hantasm npoBters accom- )on after aorninff, rted, his and told Mordoon er praiC- I wasre- k State, all ages ifty and unprincipled. Joye's Oo^jeotures on the end of the wOrld» in 1648| introduced .this olauie in our charters "As the world is now drawing to a close." Ohronologists hare been miioh embarrassed in calculating the number of years since the Creation and Birth of Ohrist. The learned Father Petan admits that this is a point to be established rather by probable Conjecture than solid argument. Whilst the accomplished Fabricius enumerates 140 different epochs of the Natirity : some place it in the year of the world 3616, and others in that of 6484 % the three principal texts of the old Testament are alike contradictory — ^the Hebrew fixes the deluge in 1666, the Samaritan in 1307, and the Septuagent in 2242. Archbishop Usher, our present au- thority, places the Nativity in A.M. 4000, since advanced to 4004. Now, if men eminent for their piety, zeal, and ■ learning, cannot agree on these points, how are others notoriously without either to do so ? The site of Eden is also placed by many in Armenia ; others near Damascus ; not a few in Oaueasus, or adjoining Hillah, by Babylon : the Hindoos say in Ceylon, and a learned Swede in Suder- mania; a number in Arabia, and a host in Abyssinia, anciently Ethiopia, a Greek name for all countries inha- bited by blacks, vulgarly called the Empire of Prester John; whilst the Asia of Scripture means the western part, and never the continent now so called. The epocha of nations do likewise vary iu a remarkable degree — until their introduction and that of Cycles, there were no certain records of time, thereby rendering early history a perfect chaos — many by hundreds, nay eyen thousands, as that of China. Early christians, before es- timating the birth of Christ, dated from Dloclesian's ac- cession, in 284, which the Coptics still do. The christian era was not finally adopted till the reign of Justinian, which alone stultifies precision. The Hebrews, as before observed, had eight epocha, beginning their ecclesiasticid year, moreover, in Spring, and their civil one in Autumn. The Egyptians and Ethiopians began theirs Aug. 30th ; the Abyssinians the 26th ; and Persians and Armenians the 11th ; the Bruchman in April ; the Athenians in June ; and Macedonians September : Romulus in March, and Numa in January, whicu, with February, he added to the year, before comprising but ten months : the Turks and Arabs in July, etc., all which have been often changed, our own amongst the rest, which, until William the Con- queror, began December 26, afterwards March 26, as did the Scotch imtil 1699, but now January 1. Much the same 84 ITfiMfi. mkf b«8aid of the French. Some anoienti, as the Greeki, whose weeks comprised 10, and the Jlomans 8 days, di« Tided their year into three seasons, but the modems theirt into four. Again — Christians set apart Sunday for public worship ; the Grecians Monday ; the Persians Tuesday ; the Assyrians Wednesday ; the Turks Friday ; the Jews Saturday. These items, which I could much enlarge, with- out noticing reformation in Galendars, alteration of stvleSt or the ftreaks of certain ancient rulers, as that of king Drumsohid, because the sun happened to enter Aries on the day he entered Persepolis, ordered the beginning of the year to be removed from the autumnal to the vernal equinox — these instances, I repeat, must prove an insur- mountable barrier to accuracy in Chronology, of which Antini's is the most perfect, Blair's the next, and Aspin's a very good one. From the Edinburgh Gazetteer, 6 vols., 8vo., being the best of its kind, is therefore a fitting companion for the preceding Chronologies, which reminds me of the very singular map of the world lately published by the Chinese, two feet w\ae by three and a half high, almost covered with their country ; in a sea three inches square, Europe, England, France, Portugal, Africa and Holland, (this latter larger than all the rest) are laid down as Islands, and Africa — no bigger than a horsebean. What would Dr. Hale say to their claiming a Chronology of 20,000 years data, whose Analysis of this science is deemed so valuable ? It must however oe conceded, that without any science at all, knowledge of astronomy, geography, geology, phren- ology, and a hundred other ologies, the Chinese are the best of agriculturists ; their fields, by manuring with hu- man ordure, properly prepared, exnibiting no weeds or incumbrance out the gram sown. They can live and flourish, where Europeans would starve and die: more than twenty millions could fare luxuriously in Ireland, and above twice that number as sumptuously in England and Scotland. Their word Tea comes from a corrupt pronunciation of two cities (Fo kien) in the east of the empire called Tcha. The rule now observed amongst sectarians in the new world, which I give for the benefit of those in the old, is to substitute church in lieu of meetinghouse for their various conventicles : accordingly when traders in relitnon take an empty bam or stable, they scrawl thereon "The Independent Church' or * The Presbyterian Church," as may be, — after the fashion of their own name and craft •':il: sGreeki, dayi, dU msthein or publio 'uesday ; \he Jews ge, with- of stvlee, of king Aries on nning of le vernal ui insur- »f which 1 Aspin'B eing the 1 for the the very Chinese, covered Europe, bis latter ids, and mid Dr. )0 years aluable ? iience at , phren- are the (^ith hu- reeds or ive and ): more Ireland, ngland corrupt t of the ;he new ) old, is )r their religion "The :ch," as id craft lTBIf0. Si •rer their respaottre itallt and ihanttes: othon profiting by this now moYe, bare eleraled theh* said staiU imm shanties into "Parsonages," which I have mysdl i0en figuring on the doors of thoir whereabouts at Montreal, and elMwhere, wherein one sect has erected a splendid stone building in the florid Oothic, pinnaoled and tur- reted, at a cost Of £14^000, which strangers regard as an Eoclesia Anglicana, but this does not bring them a whii nearer the end they have in view, for if the attainment of aa object were to he acquired by the easy assumption of a name, or exterior decoration, the world would be re- duced to a pitiable condition. The land at Adelwde, Australia, fetches from £500 to £2000 per acre : it is intolerably hard and concreted, re- sembling Roman cement ; judge then its properties and difiicultv of working. The Thermometer, during summer, in the shade, is 112 and the sun 140, the winter, in pro- portion, is equally below zero. A hundred emigrants in one ship had perished before reaching this el dorado of 16000 miles from England. Every gust of wind brings with it quantities of fine sand, that insinuate themselves through every crevice, impregnated with fleas of a mam- moth size. Butchers meat must be dressed whilst still warm, as it will not keep six hours. The cost of 100 lbs. of flour is £2. 10s. ; a quart of milk Is. ; Eggs 4d. each ; Bread 4s. the loaf of 4 lbs. ; Onions 3d. and 6d. each, according to size; Candles, and very small, 3d. each; Rent 15s. and £1 a week for two small rooms ; and Water 3s. for a ver^ little cask. Potatoes are execrable, but ten times the price of ours. Corn, wheat, and barley may do pretty well for the first month or two, but afterwards the North winds, dust, and insects make them just like snuff. The Assizes in this paradise are held ever^ three months, and never less than 50 culprits : the Police, 100 strong, have a hard time of it ; and are in constant pursuit of bushrangers, or runaway convicts, coming overland firom Port Phillip. Very favorable accounts of this colony often appear from old settlerst who having been fleeced of their all, on first arriving, scruple at no means to entice new comers here, that they may return them the compli- ment : hence so many recent locators, young men abso- lutely wealthy on leaving Englaod) are now, with hardly a coat on their backs, bullock drivers, water carriers, cads to laborers, etc. for a morsel of bread to keep life and soul together. The blacks so bepraised in the Old Coun- try, but by those who don't know them, are not only the H \ 7, ■ y» iMiest, dirtiest, and fllthiest of mit race on eartbi but altogether beyond the reach of ciTilization. The origin, aton of all this misery, was a knot of worthies dubbinir themselres a company, (Qu. of freebooters) who gettinji^ hold of land there at about the price of an old song, oou- trived, by erery species of artifice, to rais^ so eager a demand for it, that a moiety thereof sold at such prodi- gious profits, as to realise £20,000 for the primum mobiU in this honorable fraternity, an eternal brawler, by th'> way, on the people's rights, but, as so exemplified in hitt own, nerer a word about their duties. From 1828 to 1842, 365,756 emigrants landed at Quebec, and 566,762 in New York; but reckoning those that crossed oyer into Canada, and others that returned home disa{^ointed, thib lumber maybe reduced one half: of those arriring at New York in 1842, above 10,000 return- ed, anrH the settlern from Merthyr Tidril, Wales, are waiting . opportunity ior doing so. There are 50 emi- i^tion societies in England : 1364 of those they sent to Oanada in 1830, po sessed a fund of £62,929, which in 1842, had reali^od .t;647,777, averaging 70 per cent, per ann. Full half theso persons had no capital, yet by mere dint of industry they made £^12,015. Again, 202 of them carried out less than £20 each, nevertheless, their united gain, in 1842, reached £7 ^860. Remittances from the '^ 'anada Gompany'r; settlers a\ the Huron District to their friends in Frf'land, from 1844 to 1848, amounted to £60,178 6t. : those seiilers in 1842 were 6593, but in- creased to 20,000 in 1847. All the information which can possibly be desired by emigrants is supplied in the Colonization Circulars, issued every spring, by her Ma- jesty's Colonial Land and Emigration Commissioners, No. 9, Park St., Westminster, at the small price of two pence. The charge of defamation against the New York Herald, by Mr Buckingham, wiio'd have revolutionized India had'nt he been sent out of it, received this answer — " On Mr Buckingham's arrival here he sent me two articles, one professing his intention to give public lecturcB, the other, but much longer, dilating m a high strain of pane- gyric on said lectures : on my ascertaining the latter to be a puff written by himself, I replied, that the first article should willingly appear, but must reject the second unless entered as an advertisement. As Mr Buckingham cannot deny this, I would ask who is it that deals in defamation ?" Ho besieged the American Consulate, Bishopsgate Church- yard, for a subscription towards publishing his doings in ii 1^ ITBM8. m Ameiica« but failing, thej altorwsrds appeared in the number form : hence the following squib at hif expense. A subscription list is supposed to bo moying for starting liim on a circumnaTigating Toyaee, when, upon asking " Will you giro £6 towards onabline Mr Buckingham to go round the world r The reply foUows " No, but I will giro £10, with all my heart, to send him half way, pro- vided you'll undertake to keep him there.'' When Sir Oharles Bagot was ambassador at the French Court, Lord Althorp, sent him these instructions for pvo- curine a rare Italian book : ** Repairing to the rue Ht. — take tne ftrst turn on your righ^ leading to a ti< <-ling arenue, hayin/r an ancient house in the midst, eui id on knocking against the hall wainscot, you'll be a? n^ by an elderly Jew, who, on being requested, will pvoducf^ the book I want, which get at any price." This succeed- ing. Sir Charles return^ home. Early next morning he was visited by the King's librarian, who made said M>ok his apology, having uni^vailinglv sought it for years until last nigh^ and then discovered by the espionage of the police over distinguished foreigners in Pons } tendering a carta blanehet from his Majesty, for its repurchase, which, perforce, was ultimately accepted. As its rareness con- sists in having an index and table, perhaps his lordship will bo pleased to hear that this one is a forgery by an Italian Jew translator, an avocation peculiar to this peo- ple, and which many painters here also enact. Laniere, circa 1630, boing tho leader in this scandalous deception : by using a dark varnish to their pictures, then baking them in a slow oven, they come out with the characteris- tics of great antiquity. Their manufacturers of ancient gems cram a pretended cameo down tho throat of a live Turkey, and after remaining there a sufficient time, then kill it, and on extraction it presents every appearance of a Grecian treasure buried in the earth for 2,000 years. An imported copy of the " Venere Vestita," after selling by auction, then publicly exhibiting, was bought by Lord Radstock for £750, as an original portrait, by Titian, of Mary Stuart Queen of Scots ! Within a few years only thousands of such originals have paid custom-house duties, and now adorn our public and private galleries. On first inspecting the Cartoons, or drawings on large paper, at Hampton Court, I expressed astonislmient at Raphael's ex- hibitmg the fishermen about as large as their boats, **'Tis to prove the miracle," rejoined an admirer of the ancients, who, the next moment, censured a modern pMnting hard ^^.^ s^^.%% IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) k A Z. ^ % 1.0 I4i|2j8 |2.5 no "^ naH la Kii 1 2.2 U8 11.1 f.'^i^ 11:25 i 1.4 Photographic ^Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 1458C (716) 872-4503 '^ f\ V> sv q\ ) \ ^ q\ at nsMfi. h l^» for ecNDteining a suppomd extra hidr on the tail of a lioive. As a proof} howeTor, that our p««duction8 of art art Bot quite tihe daubs these rabid judges would pretend) tite sale Of Lord de Tabley's gallery by English maetenr, in 1827, rei^zed 8,000 guineas more than they cosit. 0«t-of^the-way plaees for piddnff up curiosities inl«i. terature did formerly more abound than they now do in London ; two espednlly, one an old tumble-down shanty in St. George's Fields, the other a loyr operative's «hed in a eross passage, communieating with Holt>om, hare added largely to our bibliomania toyshops. Ptolomy Philadel- plras gave the Jews for a copy of the Old Testament, £1,000,000, and 120,000 slavM ! besides £500,000 more to translators. << Never look a g^t'horse in the mouth,-' says an old ^roveib, which, on applying to a book, the re- cipient religiously observes by never looking into it at all ; but put a price tnereon, though ever so small, ani^ as it ikea becomes a property, it goes further in effecting a pe- rusal than any gift whatever. One Cole, not him of Mon- treal yclypt Major Cole, of manners and demeanour the most repulsive I ever saw, placed books in a new posi- tion, during 1826, by publishing one entitled " Bookselling Spiritualized." . Cameron, a Scotchman, buying up Thomas' Practice of Medicine, in quires, for waste paper, and putting in a new title page, sold the whole at 10s. per copy, on his stall, op- posite the college of , when the new edition waa seU- ing in London at 19s. his customers being raw students and bargain hunters. Hence this man hu made a for- tune, whilst the fair trader is ruined, and the trade itself lit- tle short of it, for not one book in six pays its expenses, nor above one in ten realizes a profit : tnis is not confined to the illegitimists, for a new title page is {prefixed to the Eminent E. Gunter's work, 1680, ctuling it a sixth edi- tion, when it hadn't reached a second. Meston's Poems (Edhi. 1767) bear the sixth edition, whilst the biographi- cal part contradicts it. Metcalf 's " Short Writing,^' 1660, though claiming a thirty-fifth edition, never exce^ed one, tiie pretended editions being occasional numbers stnidc from the same plates, with altered titles to correspond. Irhese items might be interminably extended to the pre- sent day, but sufficiently establishes the fact. Disa's Mexico, a most excellent work, declining these disgimoeful expedients, failed to obtain any patronage, leaving it to stand on its own merits, a measure highly honorable in itself, yet evincing perfect ignoranee of tiie world, touch- IIBMS. 99 ) tail of a ons of art d pretend, i matten, JOtjt.iity/ ' ties inlii* u>wdo in m sbanty )'B«bedin ire added Philadel. 'eitaxnent, more to > moutV' ik, the re- ) it at all; and, 08 it tingapo- a of Mon- anour tijie. new posi- )okiteUing ractice 01 pnanew stall, op. waa seU- studentg ie a for- itself Ut- Bxpenses, confined id to the ixth edi- s Poems iographi- J' 1660, ided one, "B struck respond. thepxe* I^a's (graoeful ng it to xrablQ in 1, touch- ing the aflhir of books, as to imagine that any work, how- eter meritorious, shoidd ererdo this bythe mere force of. its own pretensions. Note ; Prescotr s Meiioo, contains the Ungest sentence known being 64 lines. Laokington of Finsburv Square, remarkable for pro- posing a statue of himself as an ornament to its area, and who might hare had some knowledge of leather but none of boon, b^;an hy vending penny stories at his oobbler^s stall in Ohiswell Street, and ended by building the Tem- ple to the Muses in sifid Square, round the centre counter thereof a coach and six horses hare been actually driven, and puttins £100,000 into his coffers! whilst those who succeeded him, understanding their business, recelTod, as matter of course, no patronage, and, as matter of course fiuled. (This building after a rariety of changes, was burnt down in 1842). A second worthy of this dass, not a hundred miles from the Mansion House, has put another plum into his pocket, by the very means that, in an efll^ oient dealer, would have taken one out. Luke White, who commenced business by hawking books about the stree<9 dying in April, 1824, left an estate of £80,000 a year, wiui £100,000 in cash to his widow and family, be- sides spending £200,000 more in elections I In this way do a discerning public select their objects and bestow then: fitrors, who, in return, not only hold them up to ridicide, but, from these and similar facts, coiiceiye themselres jus- tified in doing so. The widow of Lackington married in lifoy, 1841, she being then 75 years old, A. Buddy, Esq., of Exeter, who is her fifth husband, Lackington haWng been her first, oyer the porch of whose Temple was this announcement, <* The cheapest bookseller in the world." which induced an opponent in Ghiswell Street to jplaoe orer his, ** The cheapest bookseller in Finsbury." Books on arriring at Quebec pay a duty o^ £5, from thence to England £2 10s. f cwt., whether the property of fSoreign- ers or Englishmen, both being treatea alike, though our fathers considered it their duty to protect us, but their descendants, arrogating to themselves the title of states- men, deem it no part of theirs to do so ; when commwit- ing on this before the highor authorities, they were un- questionably aslusmed, and could find no bettw answer than ** 'Tib the law as it now stands." ';; The above instances have introduced book-chMmien amongst us, possessing about as much knowledge in books as an Indian to the Georgics, and who exhibit the word * Bookseller' on their stall^ with equal pretensions to be ■■m ITBICS. pfaMod these, as that ^Mf a dealer in the preekuM xnetais orer a Marine 8toro, or oominon rag shop ; they banded themseines into parties for pro'-visits. to Dook sales, but which beine found burthensome, one of their number iA noW elected to that office, entitling him to unlimited mills ai Barclay's Entire, and as liberal dips into Book's Jftnw Cardi. The evil no doubt will rieht itself, for onee, per- chance, in a London refreshment house, I found three de- legates, alioresaid met tO' arrange their proceedinn, which, though continuing technically, I well understood : finally Seeing at the possibility of these acts destroying them- selves without luiTing any means to prerent it. Whilst in Canada and the States, I never Saw our well- hnewn sign of a black doll dressed in white pendent at a marine stc»e, apparently unconnected with tho trade it- sel^aod originating thus : Neaurly a century back a wo- moa called at a de^er in toys and rags, Norton Falb;ate, with a bundle of odds and ends for sue, but having busi- uesB'in Biahopsgate Street, left it unopened till her return, which not happening, our shopkeeper opened it, and find- ing a black^ aoU clad in light calico enclosed, hung it on the outside of his door, thmking, if she had forgotten, the house (as was the case) this might assist her in discovev- ing it, which it did the next day. Thus a black doll ar- rayed in white, and suspended over a shop door to ascw- tain the owner of a bundle of ragt^ is now the well-known sign of a dealer in them. A scene of another order to these Five Points — A.27-^ soandalizes New York every sabbath, namely, presses in ikhe basement printing Sunday newspapers, and cads out- side selling them, with, right and left, groceries or grog<« shops filled to repletion : hard by stands a church wiw members of one denomination on its ground floor, and othiws of anoth^ in the upper, and, nearly opposite, a brick building so divided as to accommodate three dis- tinct sects; entering which, one Sunday, I could distin- gujflb the responses oi the whole, the voices of the news- venderSfSidiciting customers, certain i'>'^ications of ▼isil>- ants to the grog shops, and rapid eve^' i of the penNkU ical presses. -■ .: As<& proof how the voluntary principle works~~M.A. 119 — of 95 parishes in Virginia, 33 are now extinct, and di dtestitute, their Pastors being removed by want and violence. If an infinitude of faiths have pabsed through this land, with the wildness of a. Sirocco blast, the voluo'- tary principle has swtept over it like a. desolating hum^. MM metois eybandwl salcsi but dumber tt litedjMillB ouM, per- , three de> in, w]kiob» a: finally ingtilient- our weU- identat a ) trade it- ack a vo- tFaUgate, ring' bust- er return, I and find- lungit on gotten, the discores- doll ar- te ascer- )ll-known reeees in lads out- er grog- rch with oor, and posito, a tree dis- distin- |ie newa- oiwhtit- period- let, and uit and bhrougb VOlUQo- jrhttOi^^^ cane. Anabaptist, or as they call themseltei^ Baptistf^ are numerous in the country, comine, says Fleuxy g Ecf- clesiastical History, t. 27. lib. 31. from the Oemifu^ of Storrk, Munster, and Jaok of Leyden ; uniting sectaribia superstition with murder, lupe, fire, and plunder. I Iumpo mingled in both hemispheres with seceders of eTery denomination, and before doing so, beliered them to bob as they always asserted that they were, oonsdentious fol- lowers of Ohrist : but alas ! how great my disappointment^ not that I would exclude honest and sincere professocs from their ranks, for doubtless they have had and stUl have many, only with me they have been of rare occmv rence, something in the nature of our uncertain seasoai^ solitary, and at a vast remove between each. Dissenters are no longer simple and unobtrusive nonconformists, but our avowed and bitterest enemies, or turbulent and. re** fractory partisans; for the days of Doddridge, Watts, and Flavel are gone by, and tne question now amongst them is, not how we snail worship the Father, that we may best gain his love, but in what manner defame our brother, that we may despoil him of his inheritance. — Two evangelical liberal papers of Monmouthshire, re- markable for hostility to our, and all church endowments, suddenly veered round on the large grant to the college of Maynooth in its favor ; but, on onquiry, these joumal- ists proved to be Irish papists : I could name certain other liberal papers as alike influenced. The real object of the late Manchester Synod, comprising 620 sectarian minis^-' ters, under the guise of obtaining cheap bread for the poor, was the depression of the landed interest, an^ through them of our clergy, whose tithes are regulated by the price of corn. The other acts of this Synod werp nothing more than so many means to the same end — ^tbe subversion of Church and State, that they mav rise on their ruins, and re-enact the days of Cromwell^ whose iroa rule levied ten times more taxes upon the people than they had ever paid before. They talk of freedom for-, sootik — the fact is they have too much of it already for their own peace and that of others : their notions^ in civil and religious matters, as shown by their own acti^. are boundless license and liberty to themselves, but none of either to other people. For the. dogmatism and intoler- ance of sectarianism see Leslie's Snake in the Orau, uid My L\f«, by an ex-Dissenter, especially under the articles of Reading the classics, training for extemportuieous preaching, appointment to the ministry, political senti- r WMA. mentoof theeandidatcs, with much other addenda aoC Um rare than surprising. The goremment moreoTer hate proofs that all the ungOTernabie and seditious masses possess either no religion at all or some of the protean forms of Dissent ; the maintenance of law and order al- together dependineon those of the community known as Ohurchmen. The Wesleyans, according to their founder's Journal and Letters, are not Dissenters, as the following extracts testify, "Jan. 2, 1787. I went to Deptford. Mbst of the leading men were mad for separating from the Ohuroh. I told them — ^If you are resonred tou may hare your service in Church hours; but remember from that hour you see my face no more. This struck deep, and I hare heard no more of separating from the Church. Feb. 17. I commend sister Percival for having her child baptized in the Church of England, and for returning puolic thanks there. They that are enemies to the Church are enemies to me. London, Dec. 11, 1789. I declare once more that I live and die a member of the Church of Eneland, and none who regard my judgment and advice will ever separate from it. They who deviate from these instructions, as those of Canada and America, may be Methodists, but certainly are not Wesleyans. The inten- 'tion of Wesley was to socialise the religion of his fathers, by regularly sharing in the arrangements of domestic fellowship: the true cause of their prosperity. His former house in Westminster is now tenanted by a chim- ney sweep, and the chapel wherein he delivered his last sermon a receptacle for soot. He once held many shares in the New River Water Company, first opened Michael- mas day, 1613, but sold to enable him to extend his charity and benevolence which, during his long life, ab- sorbed a sum exceeding £400,000 1 King James' interest in this company was presented by King William to the Earls of Aloemarle for ever, which, even in 1700, was then worth £100,000. 'Twas the at that time valuable silver mine of Gogerddon, near Aberystwith, Cardigan- shire, that enabled Sir Hugh Middleton to accomplish this vast- undertaking; an original £ipO share brought my cousin £700 per ann. and sold, at his death, for £14,000 ! In the working parishes and schismatic portions of the metropolis, we find their formerly thronged conventidCNl now half empty, not a few shut up, and many appropri- ated to other uses.' Those of Chamomile St. Bishopsgat^ and Grub St. Barbican, the former a tea warehouse, the latter a theatre : whilst three in Horsleydown are closed : ITEMS. dendft aoC moreoTer >ii8ma88lM te protean i order nl- known as 'founder^B following Deptford. iting from Tou may nber from uck deep, le Church. ; her child retuminfl; tie Church I declare Church of ad adrice 'rem these i, may be rhe mten- is fathers, domestic ty. His achim- his last ny shares Michael- tend his life, ab- interest n to the 700, was valuable 'ardigan- (lishthis ight my >14,000 f s of the entides )propTi- opsgat^ U8e,tbft closed': if four in the city of Bath conrerted to chapels of ease ; the noted Brlnkway Bank one, another to Cheadle Churdi ; « liu^ one in Devonport become a spirit store, and oth«rs so forsaken as to be unable to pay their expenses. Lady Huntingdon's preacher, congregation and chapel, at Roch- dale, now belong to our church ; followed by a society of Independents at Barnard Castle, ahd Mr Winning, Pres- byterian ministiBr, see his excellent letter. Northern Stan- dard, Sept. 1843. Similar results might be quoted from all parts of the kingdom ; whilst the Bishop of Exeter b«d recently thirty Miplications from Dissenting ministers for ordmation in the establishment. Leslie's theologpical works (circa 1748) have greatly promoted those conver- sions, and should occupy every ubrary, especially a cler- gyman's. Formerly 250 copies of an Episcopal charge sufficed, but now 2,600 are required : whilst the sale of Prayer Books and Psalteries, are quadrupled : and on a neiw mi-^^ nisier arriving at a conventicle in the Principality, he wftt counselled to commence a coune of lectures against the Church of England Prayer Book : but on preparatory in- spection he found so pure a system of divinity aecomp*^ nied by such effusions of benevolence towards all men, forming the most perfect formulary known, that he not only gave up the lecture, but abandoned Dissent, and is now a bright ornament in our church. Dr Povah, rectof of St. James Duke's Place, was in like manner reclaimed from schism, with Mr J. Hannah, son of the President of the Wesleyan Conference for 1843 ; the two sons of Dr Adam Clarke, and Mr T. Jai^on both, when li^i^S* P'^ sidents of that society ; and their celebrated Dr Warren^ an Episcopalian in Manchester, a list I could much en- la^e. The original non-conformist ordination was not in their ftrst conventicle at Wandsworth, 1672, but Little St. He- len's Bishopsgate St., which Defoe frequented, and there. met those who enticed him to such acts as subeequmitly ruined his party and himself. Dissent arose at tne. Re- formation, or 1,600 years after the establishment oi our church. The low and scurrilous way in which they do this for the million, places it beneath criticism, but whoa attempted in the letter or book form^ then demands some attention to show its real character : thus one Powell's essay on Apostolical succession, follows the mu- tilations and falsifications of Dr Miller, America, on the vane subject, especially in his misrepresentations, ftftd ITBBfS. r I 'if III pretended quotations A-om the Fftthers, but because oreW eharged with abuse of us, hidiW eitolled by schismatics. Tb ably refuted in Stopfom Weapons of Schism, who has detected f^gk^»en (Awluteforgerint and nin€t«tn Btudied munpr titn tationt, besides other deceptions without end. ** In short," obserres an able critic after perusing it, **'tis an imposture unparalloled perhaps in the annals of lite- rary dbhonesty and polUical legerdemain." For the same reason Neale's History of the Puritans — see M.A.60— dis- Eboth the -subject and himself, as does R. Phillip's onformist of Maberley Ohapel, London), edition of y Taylor's Life of Christ, in which the chapters on Baptism are wholly omitted. 1 nerer could pass Savoy Ohapel without reTerentialre-> membrances, because here our Book of Common Prayer was first publicly read, after settlement by " The SaToy Conference" and last attempt made to reconcile the Church and Dissent. The case differs with Somerset Houses occupying the site of St. Mary's Church, and town residences of three Bishops, which the then Duke demolished to erect his splendid palace, thereby commit^ ting saerileg^ : more of the nobility sanctioning Henry yilFs seizure of Church property, for sharing in the spoil, fell, within 20 \ears after, by attainder and the sword, than had so fallen for 500 years preceding ; and only one of their families now exists in any thing uke re- putation, but meeting with strange visitations' from gene^ ration to generation : the Duke of Norfolk was beheaded the same yiear he obtained Breadsall Priory, which sue- oessively fell into the hands of thirteen families, all of whom became miserable and unfortunate. The fearAil eurses against this sin are clearly shown in Spelman's History of Sacrilege, and Leslie on Tithes. Our errors in the matter of ancient temples are mani- fold ; those of Jupiter Olympus and Diana of Ephesus for instance, but the best autnorities assure us they are inferior to many built by ourselves. In the 662 A.U.C. sajrs Pliny, there was not a marble column in any public ecufloe of Rome, at which period the temple of Frietrian Jlil>iter was but fifteen feet in length. Palladio, in his desim for that of Faustina, though he could disoover neither internal ornament, nor even a porch to the origi- nal, yet throws a profusion of both into his own, and then cries out — Such was the temple of Faustina, which is no# a ehapel to some religious house. Of the 2^000 tem{dea orifinally standing in Rome, not more than eight remain^: ITBHB. 'Mjuo oreri cUismatioi. shism, who temttudM thout end. ngit,«'tli a)8 of Hte- r the same A.60— dig. i. Phillip'! edition of liftpten on irentialre- ion Prayer rhe 8aToy )ncile the Somenet lurch, and hen Duke y commit^ ng Henry ng in the h and the ling ; and ig like re^ 'om gene* beheaded hich sue- es, all of e fearAil pelman's re mani- Ephesui they are A.U.C. V public Tietrian 0, in hit diicorer le origi*' nd then lis now imaia^: and theMy with the tingle ezoeption of the Pa&theon» art neither extensire nor magniftoent for if they had beeot the entire city could not n^▼e held them. Smith's Ml- chaelii says, " Though the Temple of Solomon ir extolled as one of the wonders of the world, it did not* in reality, exceed the larger class of modem houses." Who is to reconcile these differences? But let us not forget that isemarkable passage in the life of Alexander where^ in one of his marauding expeditions, alter laying waste and slay- ing the inhabitants of the country he hM Tisited* caused armor of a prodieious sise to be made, then scattered Uirough the land, tnat, on being found by posterity, they might imagine he had contended with a race (^' giants. The choir of the Temple at Jerusalemi with those of Samaria and Alexandria as well, were appropriated to sineing and dancing, the latter being then regarded as a rel^;iouB ceremony, and so continue eren to the middle ages: down to 1839, dancing was regularly performed, every Christmas, in Edenham Ghurch> near GrimstluMrpe Oastle, conformably to the foregoing, and of David danc- ing before the ark. The present New York post-office, though an attempt at a Pantheon, is just as near one as a street-gutter to Virginia water, or the Pig and Whistle to our Mansion House. Their postmasters are miserably paid, and there- fore peculatire, M. A. 100. A collector callmg upon Daniel Webster, in Session, for a book bill, his newspaper ao- compt, payable by the House, like other members, chanc- ing to be minus $30 of its usual aiaount, handed him an order for that sum on the treasurer, which was paid — Daniel observing, " Find some other way, Mr Nimmo, of forwarding your publications to me, than through the Postoffice, as our postmasters are nottobs trustsd," The honorable S. Smith, Peterborough, America, has ftles of 72 papers, forming 800 vols, folio 1 They always write honorable and exoellmcv at full length, and also Eeq. which, if the name of a cobbler, bushwhacker, or shanty cook cant be written without this annexation, 'tis time the rightful claimants should resign it. American aristocracy can compete, but always like nobody raised suddenly to somebody, with any portion of the globe. When crossing the Atlantic in the Sovereign, amongst the passengers were Mr Hughes, American Oonsul to Sweden, and Sir Valentine Duke, of the British Army : upon the latter o^Mwrving that, on landing in America, he intended drop- ping his title ; Mr Hughes replied, " Do no such thii^;, •• ITB1C& Sir y$imtme, you do&'t know my ooiintryiB«n» roteiH il by an moanst you will erery where be reooived and treated tlie better for it." ,f doing §0 1. On the i from the to do 10 ; ent! Thia Bince, end therStotet r Oardner, ut poMlbly man on an poleon wai a soft Bovp, barrel yov iriff paper, ents per lb. ley mean?" originating hey yannt^ cidedly the oility : can n liTing at Etnce of hit ish. This vasforthe Formerly V from this 8 a eulprft lid screen of liberal- cent Poor >er to be ain them- if receiTes conricted 168: the labourer ialtimore his Boss beef aiid It turiccpf) Our nippoMd Ibrit newspaper, The English Merenry^ 16M, prores to be a forcery, its water mark dispUyiiiJi the royal arms and inituds of O. R. and not taoio of BUsabeth. Before newspapers, great fhmilies had aa amanuensis in London for writing letters of news : Tld4 Lord Olifford's Housebook. Our largest eoUeotion is fai the British Museum. The Times' double sheet for Jmo M, 1840, oontained 1789 adtertisements, yielding £700| paying a duty of £108 8s. 6d., besides the stamp of £880 more} profit on its adrertisements alone was £418 14i. | and a repetition rery common, selling 80,000 daily. This office has a Sarings Bank for its offldals— .exceeding 100— each depositing according to his earnings, which ha reoeires on quitting the office ; one indiridual, in principal and accumulations, has received £1000^ and others many hundreds. The mortality amongst its writers, from their ezoessiTe mental labours, as compared with other Journals, is truly frightfiil: thus whilst, in fifteen years. The Times lost twelre of its literary conductors. The Herald lost but three of theirs ; The Ohronide, oidv two ; The Post, two i The Morning Journal, two j The Advertiser, one ; The Oourier, three ; Olobe, one ; and Sun, one. Ther were first recognised as influencing the public mind, oy Sir Robert walpole. CheUkinff adrertisements upon dead walls, in and around Paris, commonly comprise letters' loiq; as a man's body; imitated in their newspapers, one only of two words usually occupying a whole page ; and a placard heading an intended na, notified ** To be sold the right of dring a name to this street." Ctoneral iCurison obtained the Presidency by the fol* lowing duplicity : — ^For two years before the election, he lived in an old log-house on the Ohio, and was very soli- citous in pressing strangers to enter andpartake of his homely fare, pon and nard dder : makmg it a poin^ likewise, when a steamboat passed, to be seen plouj^hhig and harrowing, and going down to every boat stopping m the laading-putce, with an axe on his shoulder, to mquire if there were any parcel for him. This stratagey induced the mass in their towns to turn out and "ruse" a log- eabin, filled with rustic implements, and eneigetio afmeali to the people to rote for mm that was one of themselTei. Again, the secret of Bfr Webster's late visit to England is tms-.«Beiiu; heavily indebted, and hard pressed by Us eraditors, m suggested tint if a good subscription purse were got for him, they should have the lion's shan^ and |» wovld flialMurk fot EnglMid to gull Ihit ftrgr ptdpio on pointa importMil to iunoriM.. The Itm mtiflod with ft pimo of K(K009, ftro-tiithi «f wl iront to them, and the rest to hinneU', botidM iwi __ iMforo my' oountrynon^ ignorant of tho Yankoo ohaNOtM^ ■a a Torltabto Oeoifo Wuklngton or OhatlN Jamet Fosi utm'yre ther;df ore wonder at the maohiaTelian part ha played in the boundary buiinoM. Patriott andpoiitidaiif of e?ery age and natioti are ipiok and ipan alike» hopfrfag fimn one tide to the other, like a fleld of QiMihopperi» •earohing alter that on which tiiey may lire. 8«ch m«a m*^ not one straw for truth or Juatioe» unleM the doiaf •ei adTance their own intereita or cupidity i when any tadical tumi the comer of a itreet sharply, depend upon il miichief is then brewing, and 'tii high time to be 19 and lookin|; after him. \- I ' Upon meehanict landing at New York, they are acceited tty tradesmen! touters : any amount of wages is pronged, Imt the dupe infonned, that, by the custom of the country, they are paid at interrals only. At the end «»f a wm months they suppose themselnres rich, and are induced to wirite lettenrfor others to emigrate, and are thua made Ihe unconscious kidnappers of meir friends. Ob preaaiag fbr a aettleinent; their deceivera inform them they hare lio. money: baring no law for the summary reooiery of "wages, they must apply to a lawyer, and as judenemt eaoi* not be obtained in less than 16 weeks, and may bedafened aa many months, the poor applicant is compelled to lose AH hia wonderfiil wa|;ea. Oertain manufacturera when paying their men, sbp in unourrent notes— ^. and A. W^rMlising one Felt in Broadway $60 erery pajnight: $100 of which paper brought a stranger tias tihimng^ t a firiend has a Bonk of England note. No. 165, May 8, 1700^ fiHr the sum of naepmot : the Ruitwians issue them Ux a rouble, or 3a. 2d. Gaptain Keames, commanding in the lliish rebellion, assured me that when hia men captured baded ffuna fit>m the inaurgenta, theikiaddinffi^ten oOn«. ■titutea notes of the loyal banks I trdy aa Iifiab modiD .d k^uriBg an enemy. >.',■■■■ u^W - The AmerieaaBaQkrupt'Lawv during ita brief esdaA^Me «f ay^r, relieved;^)r^|i.A4 14IU4ecaitiped' with $8liO^OQO^aBd itwa tMeivenibf^laige pajaMDtfenom the Mesioaft (kvmni* 7 nUabl« ^6 Mmfai • «f wfiiob IWI__ ttnefFoKi A pttt ht poutioiMif mboppen» 8«ch mm the dotaf when Mqf pead upon » to be u|i reaeeetted I prontked* leoounirr, i '^f »liBW induced to fchui mftde teproMing £^Sey hftTO nwf of emteaa* edefetred edto lose ren when ^. and A. ij 9, 1700^ lem for » Qg in the captured fiben ooui nu>dlB«f lOitbertfof leaehl ^anditwft mam (m m«BtMlo«ved» enoeeeded h^ 81 othen in tin UlmnmA iwmua 1 Maokemde'i ** Urm of Butler and Hovl^ exhihH the tooet atroeioui riolationi of integrity ana moeaU^ aaionBit ihehr* oAoiali. <*0f oar ISOO banks, 800 are bankrupt^ but about 84 NepeotaUe, and the reft iniolTent ; on whidi thane ara 800 forgeriee by the Daguerreotype and the BleotrotiFpe if •ee SylTefter*! New York Detector : to which no oouutly in the worild can produce any thins at ail equal. A, Oen* sreMional State paper ettimatei the lou to ihe eouhtm by the luipeniion of theie banke, at 8865,4101491 1 1 1 Is Spain,' Portugal, ryulgarly Portkigale, ita ancient ortlM»» gn^hy,) Italy, ana Omaa, gold and iilrer alone oirouiate^ but they are the only ones, and poorest of any. OhildA k Co., (possessing the private banking aoooknpts of Oromwell,) Hoares k Co., and Snow & Co., ha?e been established ever since 1663, 1680, and 1686, .Steue» Martin k Stone represent the house of Sir Irhomaa Oresham, founder oi the Boyal Exchange. Aa a.nvoof what brawlina; and agitation have done for Ire^^ het bank oiroulanon, with a ponulati<>n of eight midlieiifi» is but XMOO^OOO, whilst Bcotlaad* with less than threes exceeds £40^000,000. Oivaord's great wealth— N. 60-«originalted from hii agenoy to many planters in St. Domingo who, previous .te ite revolution, shipped off tflieir treasure to him, which anired m safety, but they neter did, being elthar murdered or dymg in jprison. The immense sum ho bequeathed for a school and a college in Philadelphia beii^ invested in the United States Bank, shared, in thd vuhi of that establishment which had long spent 88,000,000 a year more than its income 1 whilst boasting tbreus^amk Buropb that it would soon break the Buik of Engmod-} when will these people learn to speak the tJtuth^ or thd world respect those that would do so for them 7 . ..n-. The public office of its banks is the arena for good manners from its frequenters j who^ upon eat^ing.OB% divest vepublioi. • The model one of AmaricaaaTiiig^ttade^ \ too ITElfS. m ■z^ |!: ihe eant term of thane, chanoteristioaUy iliAyed one imother, next turned their attention ai to who elBO they night farour with that operation; and leleetinff Jdm Biul as the wealthiest for their purpose, presently gare him so clean a one, as at once raised then* names as it ought to have done their heads, quite as high as the noted Haman's. An^ sum in the hands of a tlmfW man, will produce good diurnal profits, and yery considerable ones at the yh one payment only of 5 per cent, on the whole year, whilst the borrower makes as much of it every day of that year. Although, as must erery fair-dealing person, I consider this to be wrong, neyertheless I would not intrust its amendment to republicans, because self is their goveming principle, their sole motiye for getting rid of king, priests and nobles, being that the^ might the more easily step into power by the omnipotence of wealth, which has always been, and oyer will be, the down- iUl of republics. Episcopalians neyer join the emutes of America, which has 46,000 jplaces of worship, ** Hundreds of ministers from other denominations/' savs Dr Delacv, Bishop of West New York, <* hay e joined our Church, now comprising 1700 cler^ and 21 bishops." The rectory of St. Thomas, New York, ($4600) was offered, but declined by Mr Montgomery, Percy Chapel, London: many Dissenting ministers therein receiye as much and others eyen more. The charge brought by these people against our clergy of laying too much stress on the machinery of the Churdi, is a ^tuitous one, since they yalue no machinery that is not m strict conformity witn the most important ends. **A hedge round a yineyard," says the amiable Bishop Home, "is in itself a poor paltry thing, but break it down, and aU who go by will pluck off her grapes." This coming in oi ministers and erection of churches preyuls in Canada; Major Christie, of Quebec, erecting two, and another at Montreal by Mr Molson, the brew^, whose original inscription thereon " Erected at the sole oost of Thomas Molson." being converted by the little wits of the city into — ** at his souTs cost," Hebrews xx. (he brews double x) has been changed to a quotation from ike Psalms : fifty in Upper Canada, leaving as many prd- paring, and another ia Toronto, with £6000 sent anony- mously from England: in 12 years 1x9 others haye ap- jpewea in Nova Scoti». Party legislation having robb d ITEMS. 101 i^red one else ihey ting John mtly gaye mes as it ;h as the nftj ma&y isiderable her to do &y others, lole year, ry day of g person, rould not ie self if letting rid night the »tence of l;hedown- ca» which Iters from of West •mprising Thomas^ 1 by Mr ssenting Bn more, clergy of Ghnrdi, y that ia nt ends. Bishop it down. robbM out chiurdi of the Clergy fteserree, se^ to make heir remnant Valueless by sanctioning the moftt eitoriiOttalt^ eharges in their cUsposal^ from the fliir df 8^ to the itiiqn& tons of 48 per cent., whilst £809 w^ ledHne £1160 ! and £431 for another sum of £78 ! ! I a* prored before a committee i^pointed by the House of Assembly. A great deal Las been daXd about our Oler^ B^errei^ but nothing about the Gatholio— No — ^becau^e sOoriettly abetting the league for subyerting our Ghnrch : (^e catholic priests of Montreal recentfy sold a modicum of > their land adjoining for £77,000.) The Ursuline Content of Quebec holds 164,618 acres of hmd. The Ursulines Of Three Birers, 38^909. The Becollets, 946. Bishop and Seminary of Quebec, 693,324. The Jesnits, 891,846. &t. Sulpioians, Montreal, 250,191. General Hospital, Quebec, 28/197. Do. do., Montreal, 404. Hotel DieUj QuebeO^ 14,112. And Seurs Grises, 42,336 acres: maldng ttuo mUliotUr one hundred and tumtyfwe tJwutamd, ont hundrtd and iw&nty nine aares ! ezdusiye of tithes, and a twell^h on every transfer of real estate! whilst our Reseiryes given for ihe entire support of the Church, without reduir- mg any from her members, hi^e been plunderoa for distribution amongst her enemies, who have also passed ^n unOonstitutioiml act depriving our clergy of Uieir elective franchise. This treatment of grants by George ni. and IV. shame the very Yankees, who to this day respect all royal grants anterior to their revolution. These parties banded unholily for injuring us, but, in* dividually, ready at all other times to destroy one another, receive an annual Provincial grant of £1000 to the Bottian Catholic Bishop of Quebec, £666 to their other at Toronto^ with £2000 to his priests, and £2940 to the Scotch, Pres- byterian, and Methodist ministers, who altogether differing from our Wesleyans, have contrived to dip pretty deeply into the Provincial purse : all which, vide " The Observer, Dec. 18, 1845." filed in the Congregational library Bloom- fteld Street, Finsbury, they requite thus, "That the English Church should be driven from America. That the University (question must be settled by pushing every sort of religion out of it." (which has since been effected !) conclumng with a long vituperati?^ article headed "The sin of teaching chilc&en the Church Cate- chism." But the most astounding communioaiaon is to foUow, shoHving the extreme lengths to which' IMp eompact wit^ f3i» (XOonnell faction curied' them^ ixtt \ 102 ITEMS. i-'fe 'm the Mme whig-radioal minittrf that ooold vake tiieh libend proyiiion for the deadheit fees of a Protettent Churdhy would allow the head hexe of that Church no inoTiaion at all ! Arohdeaeon Strachan being eleTated to the Bishopric of Toronto, on the express condition that he was to reoeiye no saluv I though Archbishop Tennisont in 1710» left £1000, and Bishops Butler and Benson, £1000 more to endow two Protestant Canadian bishoprics. Parliamentary grants, as in 1842, for the support of sectarian teadiers is £36,630, but Dr Pye Smit^ one of their distributers of this bounty, regularly votes against every church rate for the parish in which he lives : similar grants are also made to the nonconformists of Ireland, and the Scotch kirk at Belfast, whilst catholic officials are alike provided for in all our dependencies, and often more libenulv so than our own, as in Canada, Trinidad, and other places. These grants for the last 160 years, indud- ing prmcipal and interest, amount to £180,920,813! As mercy to the vanquished, so are gifts to an enemy, but in what light does it place that enemy if insensible to the boon? Bead this ye our opponents, and blush for the assumed character of your fourpenny Church Bate mari^ brethren ; tSdA to that Dissentmg witness in a recent tnal at Durham, who demurred to kissing the New Testament, as a verification of his oath, from scruples of conscience, but on being told that if he didn't his expenses couldn't be aUowed, instantly complied without further scruple. MaynooUi, 12 miles from Dublin, is remarkable for filth, and look of lacy squalor, its students for slovenliness, and priests for a scowl and downcast demeanour, because both are taken from the plebeians : it has received grants of £362,893 up to 1842, besides others for repairs, as £2686 in 1848, contrast which, and its increased one of £30,000 a year, with the revenue of Dublin University lAuii, after the accumulative munificence of 260 years, amounts to only £28,000. The works of Cardinal Bel- larmine are taught at Maynooth, in which these instrue- tions (Book III. c. 31) are to be found *< Heretics can justly be excommunicated, and therefore put to death. Knowing that fools will not be wantine to oelieve them, the only remedy is to send them to tMir le to the h for the ktemartj^r ecent tnal [estament, •nsciencO) couldn't cruple. for filth, ness^and because ed grants pairs, as done of nirersity vears, nal Bel- instrue- itics can death. e them, ace,'* M 93, is Br the igned Its to apologists mi^ pretend to tell us, then why are they not eimn^;ed? The Earl of Mountcashel prores iiiaynooth to DO a nest of Jesuits. The romanists in and around town weris, and I belief^ still are buried in the dormitory of old St. Pancrasi Ohuroh, its bell beiiu; the last in England that toll'd for the celebration of Mass, which is repeated di^y at St. Peter's Rome for catholics buried here, wherein lies PaoU the Oorsican chief: their srare stones are known by the cross, and initials of R. I. P. for Reouiescat in pace— mcttf he rut in peace. The romanists of liancashire are not onfy buried in our church.yards, but by their own priestSf who reauite us by boasting that having thus got possession of our dormitories, they will soon have our churches also* furthermore attested by their secret pass phrase ** Well hare all England in seren years." How very properly do these acts of our church rebuke the following unchristian and intolerant one of their own — ^The lady a£ Dr Beres- ford, Archdeacon of Ardagh, dying at Rome Dec. 31, 184ff» was buried in the Engliek buncU-groundthnt no scriptural quotations expressiye of hope or trust beyond the grare* were permitted to appear on her tomb, ""Because," as stated by the Pope on being questioned why ? << no heretio could be Bayed." ride Whiteside's Italy. liany catholics are not only lay impropriators but present to church lirines, whose stipends, consequentlyy are always low, the edifices neglected, and attendance meu^e. Their priesthood ever since our establishment of Auynooth, has relapsed into the manners ef a barbarous a^e : but when educated at St. Omers, by mingling therein with gentlemen got rid in a manner of the vidgus mobUe. Oonversing, in Session, with the librarian to the Canadian Legislature, author of a riduable work on Parliamentary Law, that not only obtained his appointment, but a grant of £225, 1 could not help noticing the striking difference between certain priests, Known here by their costume, as they addressed him upon entrance, some being distinguiiBb- able for their mild and genUemanly bearing, whilst othera were as remarkable for a rude and unrefinM one. ** The first mentioned," he answered, **are our natire Canadian French priests, but the others are recent arriTids £rom Ireland." Whilst the nuns here, at least those which I haye seen, are,much like the Irish priests, coarse, repulsiye^ and any thinj^^ but graceful. On conceding the Enumcipation Bill the catholics bound themaelTeB to refrain fiAm eyecy thing tending to ii^ure U ' ■I* lif I 104 ITEM^. r our Irish tlhurch, but how W88 thi$ oiith obscnrred? wht as eveiry oath always has beert, wheil made with a pititOT^ taat or heretioi by their primat^ and his priests, cjOjkLi ihiencing a systematic warrare against the tithes' of ^ur clergy, which, if any one neglected to foUoW, he Wai either murdered or ms house burnt, by an organisoid ^ai^ arishes, do not produce £200 a year; and two large unions, though augmented from other sources, cannot exceed £100. Some parishes are nothing but the sites df old religious houses, whose names they 'still retain, and others of mercantile establishments, as two in Cork, one h a distillery and the other a sugar-house; there are seven having no income at all, and many that do not produce £10 a year, whilst £20, £25, and £30 are ordi- nary stipends in this loudly bruited land of rich clerical ^dowment. Many livings, nominally valuable, produce so little that the holders would be destitute had they no property of their own; besides being exposed to every species of annoyance and insult, nay, tneir very lives not only in Jeopardy, but very frequently taken, by those members of cathoboism whom it is now so n^Uch thO fiishion to cry up as the personification of suffering meek<^ ttess and humility, especially their prelates touching temporal and political afi^rs, supp^orted by the Fope» bin !.!-■ ITEMB. 109 red? wht i8tB, exitcLi BBof ^ur , he Wal Otis, they ) truth in .8 a most )mperate, bestowed i Sir T. perseon- postolio a 9r annum, the rest she's been lontribute 30 of her holly im- Lous'firom [le clergy revenues, I, and the 8 in 1819, ; and ten vi^o large 1, caiinot the sites in, and ork, one on which we are set right in a remarkable petition to Pariiament from a larve body of influential BoiOan Oa4ho» licSji in 18M, praying Uiatit would restrict one, and banish Uie other, as Illegal, from the kingdom. The 1400 bene- ficed clergy of Iiilaiid receive, on an averaee, £200 a 7/e«rt (when Uiey can get it,) out of which they have to pay 740 curates. Finally'—the cathedral establishments, with very few exceptions, are mere parish churches of the humblest kind, that had they the funds a choral service could not be performed in tnem; their 139 dignitaries have very rarely any emolument therefrom, ana only eight of them possess official residences ; but her 178 prebendaries have none at all. These facts must disabuse the public mind as to **the enormous revenues,** the immense riches," and "the lavish endowment," of the Irish Church, put forth by the worst of men for the worst of purposes. The true history of Irish aflTairs is a misrepresentation and distor- tion of facts without end, fomented by the machinations of a faith that halts at no means to accomplish her un- scrupulous desi^, which, if one honest member of ourt attempt to detad, masses of theirs rush on to deny with a peijured contracUction, that the Confessional and their priests stimulate and absolve. After great labor and research, I have discovered that the Irish papal revenues amount to £1,387,460 a year! namely — ^Annual Confessions £300,000. For Christenings £33,330. Unctions and Burials £60,000. Marriages £300,000. Purgatory (prayers for) £100,000. Collections at Churches £541,620. Curates Collections £22,500 ; and our grant of £30,000 to Maynooth. Pretty fair for a body of paupers, as they designate themselves, reminding me of their pauper brethren of Mexico who own property worth £25,000,000, besides vast treasures in their churches ; and their equally de$titute bret||ren of Canada, with 2,125,179 acres of land, heavy tithes, pecuniary larffossesf and other tri/le$. The above items do not include oc- casional Parliamentary grants flowing with a liberal hand, or those of a minor description, as that in last Session, of £2100, for repairing the popish chapels of Nenagh, Kil- rush, Aghada, and BaUingarry. Their priests' domestio pickings, like sectarian tpinning visits, in M.A. 153, are exceedingly profltable, but not ascertainable with sufficient accuracy for appearing here. So severe are those priesti in their exactions of toll from laborers on public woiksi that when thev receive their pay they deposit all they don't want witn clergymen of tne protestant church, Btat- \ 106 mSMB. ing, for to dobw, ''They are the only men we elMi trurt, «o thit the onests shouldn't know we hare it.'^ Theit ierrioes at tne wakes of plebeians are generally well requitedi^ an Attendant at one near Dublin ascertained the man ooUeeted to be jei6. Erery priest's income, lays A resident, is Aill£300 per annum, and the last of tneir biahops who demised left £100,000 to his trustees : other catholic dignitatries have reyenues vastly exceeding any of ours, Additionally to holding splendid courts, indudanff body guards, as those of the primates of Hungary ana Croatia, the tatter's comprising 3000 men I No wonder, on d state provision for the 2000 priests of Ireland being Irumored aoroAd, that Dan O'Oonnell should say "As to Ihe £600,000 for this purpose, I have to tell the promoters of the plan, that less tnan a million per annum won't do." And yet he calls our Irish clergy, with an income Hve times less than his own, the most grasping and rapacious in the worM." Their minions in attacks against our Church having Mtisfied themselves, are beginning to look into the abuses of popery, complaining that a priest has his hand for ever In their pockets, thus righteously requiting their abettors, and as justly fiUfilling the i^othegm, Thev who live ii| Idass-houses should never throw stones : Christmas fees, Easter dues, WhitiSiun offerings ; baptisms, marriages^ and buiials ; masses for the sick, missura for the dying, and i>rayers for the dead; licenses, dispensations^ stations and egacies ; with all the etcetera of oblatio plateau, holy oU, holy candles, and holy water; charms, penances, gospels, invocations and scapulars assail die devotional in endless variety. Is it therefore surprising, that as popery iii Ireland, witness its costly ana magnificent structures, is ostentatiously the wealthiest, so its professors are the most impoverished^ of all others, on adding thereto their ti'ibute to the Pope and Propaganda, O'Connell rent, agitatdrs laigess, and repeal collections, of which Mr O'Connell was tire«6urer, (to whom, as such, a blind and aged Iridi lieggar, veil known in Montreal, sent £100!) receiving £200^000 in ten years, yet when called on for the accompts, declared' there were no effects in hand, and that the Ateociation were in his debt; irrespective of which he Arew an income of £^16,000 a year of personal contribv^ tbn. ■ •.■::■•• i; ProAtting iby the part they had been directed to take agadnst our cleigy, the Iriih catholic laity assemUed imd cBlabliBbeda i^ritnal tariff for their own, fUl lAO pe» elm trait, t/^ The!* nrally well rtftined the me, lOTi A It of thei* ees: other ling any of indumnff ngary ana wonder, land being »y "As to promotevi wonH; do.'* loome ^ve rapacious oh having the abuses id for ever r abettors, ho live in tmas fees, iages, and lying, and itionsand k, holy oH, ^gOOT>fete, n endless »opery ill ctures, is I the Host ir tribute agitators anellwas ;ed Irii^ 'eceiving ocompts, ' at the hioh he trib«4 I to tike led and L«Oper iTBm* 107 eent. below' their masters^ The f (blowing «r» itStohief Itwis: "Charges to the Olergy. For marriages lQs« (formerly 3£s^) Baptisms Is. and Mass Ist, nHhspte! 2s. 7d. Mth. . N^ Stations or Legacies (Oonfessienals im houses, and piiests money a* every death.) For a oerti- fioate Is;^: (fonnerly 3s.) Foe wages .4s. (formerly 10s.) lik> money foir. DisponBaries ; oats for the curate's. iiorse*i nor potatoes to the clerk. All 3tati(»is at chisel/' Some^ what retributive for their acts against our own dergy. The fees in Munster for blessing cattle often amount ^ £14 per annum, and for marriage £10, the bride and bridegroom severally invitii^ 40 people, each contribut-)* ing 6s. : well might they answer, when asked^ by Govern-, ment, what £ees tney would resign if a provisioq were ma^ei for them "We will give up cul but the marriage fee.** Vide The Dublin Evening Mail, Mayo^ Constitution, and? SlieoChampionof Jan. 1843. ,j A masterly work by the present Earl of Bod^i provei that our Irish Churen prepay never belonged to the Boman Catholics. When . tne Bomish missionaries first) visited Ireland, they found thechristian religion had beeii: professed for ages, and that titheB %uere pmd to the eUrgjf, wnd €ccleiia9tic8 riohly endowed withlomdt. iLprd BroughaoK recently observed in the House of Peers, " Thore nefver> was a grosser delusion than to imagine that the Irish Church entailed any suffering or injury ; ost • the Lrisl^ peasantry ; the tithes, which did not, nor ever did belong to them, and the Church lands which did not belong to* any man, defrayed the expense of the Protestaut Chjiuroh/' Corroborated in Bede's Ecclesiastical History, born in» Northumberland, 672. On Queen Elizabeth's declaration arriving in Irelaud* ** the whole body of the Bomish priests abandoned theis connexion with Bome, and adopted the Litui^^ of oun Church." and so continued, adds Br Phelan, suppoi;te4 by catholic historians, for eleven years, when every en^^xie^ was set in motion, by the Pope, to regain his supremacy | four successive ones excommunicated Elizabeth ; her luo was assailed by various conspiracies j her kingdom giyea up to the vengeance of Spain, and the more mischievous inUrigues of the Jesuits. I would then ask — ^Which is tb9 intrusive Church in Ireland, that established by lawful audiority, or that introduced by the machinations, of pewr^y. Our Church service, before the Befcnrmation, was re)i4 tA the. people in L^tip^ but hwiA i^eve^?. bo^n fo^d^Tw:^ \ 108 ITEMS. •inoe { henee the mMi of our memben imai^e that a neir Ohturoh wM founded at the Refonuation, rery different from the Ohuroh of Rome, instituted, as they assert, br Si. Peter, though Soaliger always maintained that Peter nerer was. at Rome, which Sohler, a German, conflrmf after great research. The Ohuroh of England in Magna Oharta, and all our canons, is always called Eoclesia Anglioana, nerer Eoclesia Romana. Our bishops can trace their succession, through Archbishop Warham, and thosG who lived before the Reformation, up to the British and Saxon bishops, which shows that we are the sam« Church : this is what the papists cannot do. She has also prored her true apostouc succession by a regular list of names from the Apostle St. John down to Bishop White ; nevertheless she carefully abstains from asserting that this Apostolical order is absolutely essential to the being of a church. Vide Clement, Bishop of Rome, the disciple and associate of St. Paul : Phil. 4. 3. and Ep. Cor. c. 44. Irenoeus ordained bv Polyoarp, the disciple of St. John, Bishop of Lvons, A.D. 178, who was bom about the time St. John died, and wrote 86 years after St Clement, epumerates those bishops appointed by the Apostles (Adr. Hoer. 3. 3.) Tertullian and Eusebius, the ecclesiastical historians, guard this succession with great eare, the latter A.D. 310, gives a list of 100 bishops in the four chief Churches of Rome, Alexandria, Jerusalem and Antioch, (Proes. Adv. Hoer. c. 32.,) which the records of our own Church have continued to the present time: furthermore proved by the unanimous voice of all anti- quity, yet there are writers of the present day so grossly ignorant as to tell us, that this doctrine was never heard of till the Reformation. The hturd scoffing sectarian may Tory possibly sneer at this announcement, and not impro- bably start something about a mathematical demonstra- tion, but I would ask nim to prove his own lineal descent firom Adam or Noah, which I should think he would find some difficulty to do, but does it then follow that he is not a descendant from one or other of them. And would he receive a minister unless from his own delegates, the Presbyterian by the Presbytery, the Methodist by the Conference, and the Baptist by their Association of minis- tors ? The term Protestant originated in 1529, when the Elector of Saxony and his Lutheran companions proteatid agahist the Diet of Spires ; with which we had nothing to do, though our Church may have made declara^ms amoontiii^ to a protest against romanism, but this thatsMw f diffSBrenl lertybjSt. list Pei«r , conflnni in Magna 1 Eooleiia shops can rhaoi,aiid kheBritith the same She haa 'egukur lilt to Biihop 1 asserting ial to the Rome, the . and Ep. le disciple was bora ears after bed by the sebius, the irith great ops in the lalemand ecords of Bnt time: all anti. 10 grossly ^er heard oianmay Dtimpro- monstra* 1 descent >uld find he is not rould he ktes, the ) by the »f minii* hen the thWto nttiona Mainst tnr eeron and «offniptions»i not against bar ar at cSmrclu Our antiquity is also proved' by the remadcabUi discorrery of Feranaabjuloe ohuroli^ Oomwim^ aftw beii^. bwied in the sands £» seven hundreds years v ride AvdM' budiop Parker's editioa of John Day, 1667, on our fisttlis and formula ia the Saxon times. Eusebius and Tertullian, circa. 190, and 810^ assert, that' 8t. Paul' first |^anted Christianity in Britain^ after he hadi established it in Spain, confirmed by Origin, OhrysostroiQ« and other Fathers. Our Gbilrch>.iaoreover» was n<^ onijf| independent of Rome, and %'^ety oilAierj.butaokQOwledgeal to be 80 by thie grtet eodcsiastioal council of Artei^ im Fmnce, A.D. 841: see Simond.. GouA. OaiUio. lol. i.> bmoratioQ and supemtition gradually crept into tho^ Ohurch of Rome, tno two most obnoxious, Imago wershipt and Transubstantiation, about the 8(h and Qthcenturiea; Fabre's Romanism : they were strongly opposed by ouK^ Ohurch, though, after long strugglee^ reluotantly reoeiivedl but from these and otibuer corruptions she nobly relieved herself, as she had am undoubted ri^t to do, at the Ra** fiarmation,. by returning to her primitive simplicity. Finally, the Nicene Gre^ embodied in our ArtlcuBa aiatd Oommon Prayer, likewise in the Standards of; the fieotdi^ and Gonfessions of every Reformed Ghurchi was. setdedf at the Gouncil of Nice, 821, which first received tb<% divinity of Ghrist by 297 bishops against IS. 'Twas ia1i» fied by tiie Gouncil of Gonstantinople in 381. Oonflimedl ag«n by the Gouncil of Ephesus in 431. Adopted by tfaiir Council of Ghalcedon in 451. And affirmed by tbfi Gouncil of Trent in 1546. But in 1664, piopery pnbiished its new views in 12 articles, (Pius lY. Greed,) therebs^ pooving, says Bishop Hall, "Let your authors^ gloze it ai» they list, popery is but a young faction, Qotrruptly r^ed) out of ancient grounds." Hence — I^Ton enim nos ab illii^ sed illi a nobis recesaerunt. Gyprianus. We did i|pt go* out firem iham hut they wemt out/romtu* 1 ^ohn 2. ii9^ Irish protestants exceed 2,500,000, the bulk being Epia^ oopofians with only 1660 ehurches, the Dissenters 886 houses: of prayer, and the cath<^cs 2000 chapels: thf^ united Diocer ) of Down, Gonnor aaid Dromore, contidn) 166,500- churchmen,, with only accommodation tov 44,0QQii and tiie same Want for 40,000 othero in the smallest se% which has just/ contributed ^17,000 vA^untarilyf wi^ 481,000 in the former to supply this defieienoyv &vi^offi 1888 upwardstof 8achtti«heanavebc|en erected S|3 jrab«ilt»j and* goodly xuynber of <^pela lUwgi on att ii4Prdinati(m, Ul: in the , hit lord* ^ religion : iapP7,and fttor darei Bcten are "his is not [sh ariito- being the crime of and pro- itioal) are riendi and iddle-man dsaoriflo- ooesan of has spent cathedral, lee, and meitiben he Hon. iceyfrom deration, assidled >p on re- mending renues to paternal vre large [anderera sacred dbiUtyis tenure lets his [is his at t realise l^nniring leageriy ich the can we therefore wonder at that dause in the late Lord Oar. berry's will, ** Any person taking an ii^rest under this will, who shall become a Roman Gatholio, shall forfeit said interest." After these specimens of modem papacy we can hardly be surprised at the succeeding extraordinary ones : Aug. 2, 1848, Mr Ward, their organ in the Oommons, moTW ** That the whole protestant establishment in Ireland be broken wp ard its property given to the Roman Oatiio- lics 1 1" Anotu ' member. Lord Arundel, son of the Duke of Norfolk, saiu, April 16, 1847, ** The conflict between eatllDlioism and protestanism will never end till the lat- ter is extinct 1" And Lord Oamoys, oathoUo peer in the Upper House, previously, *< I am not now a repealer, but if you do not abolish the Irish Protestant Ohurch, I shall become one 1" he soon after received a high appointment in the Queen's household I (and is it for t^e mummery •nd ostentation of Catholicism that the purity and simpli- eity of protestant worship are to be sacrificed ?) Lord Brouffham thereupon arose, and expressing his extreme astonishment and indignation at such a speech, stated, ** Your lordships have now an opportunity of estimating the value to be attached to the oath taken by Roman Ca- tholic members of parliament : my Lord Camoys, stand- ing on this very spot two years ago addressing, not your lordships, but a higher power, then swore " I disclaim, di»> avow, and adjure any intention to subvert the church es- tablishment as settled by law in these realms. And I do solemnly in the presence of God profess, testify, and de- clare that I do make this declaration without anv evasion, or mental reservation whatever, so help me Goa." I need not ask in what position this expose places my Lord Ca- moys, (but oaths never trammel the conscience of Irish catholics, for the whole rebel population of Wexford, in 1798, within a month of their takinff the field, toqfc the oath of allegiance by parishes, hea(fed by their priests, then went home to whet their pikes), illustrating Georse IIFs noble reply to Lord Grenville, March 1767, on the Roman Catholic bill, <* I am one of those who respect an oath. I have firmness enough to quit my throne and re- tire ,to a cottage, or to place my neck upon a block or the scaffold, if my people require it, but I have not resolution enough to break an oath — an oath I took in the most s6> lemn manner at my coronation." Behold then, my countrymen, your rew%rd for yielding to these people one unbroken series of concession ; in ua fMHtlng Emnoipfltioii \ ihe tvXL equality of oi?ll righUr; «w8e|»iiv AWfty tth prdftUi of your diureh ; Abolwhing •60 of Jier •Mved oAoei, founded Mid endowed bv your fethen } deducting one-fourth from the income of your dergjr } breekiug down your old corporetioni { and, fUiellyi proridinff them with » national education for which we pay but diiappro^e, because proB(nibing the word of Oodi iriiUat 10 only of its 82 inspectors are prote8tants.->SiG itar ad astro. Do they rest content with these conoea* ■ion^ unexampled in any aso or nation ? by no means^ but use uiem as auxiliaries in obtaining others, for subTorting the constitution of these realms, orerthrowing the reUgiou at our fathers, and prostroting the institutions of the em- pire : not a single act of theirs at all approaches our ex- ample, in every instance, meeting indulgences with insult, ana brotherly kindness with aggression. Ireland, from the beffinning of her history, has never been free from dissension, tumult, and civil conflict ; all the liberties she ever had accrued to her after the English conquest, of which ihe is wholly insensible and has always rec|uited with in- ffratitude : benefits and concessions are invariably fol- lowed by outrage and rebellion, requiring a severe 8]jrs- tem of coercion to restrain and put down, which as Irish nature is not human nature, she must first of all reform and become morally regenerated, before she should have, or can be entitled to any other. The old Irish parliament, which O'Connell's thinly- veiled delusions sought to restore, was one of the most renal and corrupt on record, exclusive of its barbarous propensities, Mr Grattan, for instance, leaving the House 4me day to shoot the Chancellor of the Exchequer, then returning and resuming the debate as if nothing had Jiai^ened 1 The Union of Scotland and England, in 1707, 6io a oono«ft* leana^ but iibverting ereUgioB f the em- » our ex- th insult, kiMl, from free from arties she , of which I with in- Ably foL> ?ere sjjrs- i as Iri«h II reform iild havoi thinly- he most urbarous e House then mg had in 1707, >ut wag oioe in tinually ir times rapenr, he did; erlinea id-, live urdiesb which Frenoh paplite alone hare 98 stations amongst w for proselyting i a religion not onW deformed by the grossest corruptions, but a vast political machine in tlie hinds of the nnprineipled— Tide O'SulllTan's and Phelan's Digest, Lehuurs and Phelan's Policy, and Sir R. Pttf» Parllamen- tary speech, March 6, 1827, with Jewel's Apology } Pro- fessor Banke's Works i Roscoe's Leo X., and Stephen*! Spirit of the Ohuroh of Rome. The Stuart family nomi- nated to Irish romish bishops until its extinction on the death of Cardinal York. Tneir missionary system, form- ing a disguised band of 700 Jesuits, is wholly directed a^nst our Ohuroh. Vide ** Annales de la propagation de la Foi," MacauWs « England," Brogden's « SiJeguard," and MelTille's " Protestanism and Popery." Sherwood's Fox's Martyrs show the doings of this mud faith on return of the Bourbons. At Ohaxy, N. T., Dec. 22, 1842, the priests publidy burnt 400 protestant bibles— for its translation ride Bishop Burnett's Reformation — an ordinary occurrence in Ireland, whose catholics in N. Y. State have ejected it firom certain schools as a Hcitwnan book/ Bounaparte inflicted a shook on papal authority that 'twill not easily recover, though the crafty proceedings of Pope Leo XII. were solely directed to that end, who, in his encyclical letter of May 5, 1824, against Bible Societies, calls ours " The Gowel fore sbrprising that the Popes, though always assuming* new name, never take that of Peter. Those who recelred "tiiat name at. the fort, have uniformly discarded it on reaching the chair. Petrus de Tarantalia clmnged his to Iittiocent IV. ; Petrus Caraf became Paul V. etc. ; they probably fear this name might make people observe •* How unlike Peter the Pope is to Peter the Apostle.** Sextns v., in 1590, issued the Vulgate, corrected by Inm- self, annexing a bull pronouncing it perfect, yet ms sue* cesser Clement VIII. disccvered 2000 enrors in this bible. The bull is secured by a leaden seal, but a brief with a fisherman's ring. Phocas Emperor of the East, 606, con- "fined Papa to the prelates of Rome, till then assumed by all bishops. 'Twas the Pope, a Cardinal, Archbishops and ot^er papal dignitaries that, to a^randise the Holy 43ee, conspired to assassinate Lorenzo de Medioi, fortu- nately escaping, but his brother was murdered. Mass which uiey erroneously apply to the Lord's Supper, and we as impropeiiy eelebrate at mid-day, denote, say litur^oal writers, the lessons, the prayers, and dismissing the people, wherein, coming from missio, 'tis alone pro- per. The Popedom is the worst governed and least prosperous of anj other state, much the same may be said wherever this faith predominates, which is always on its best behaviour in protestant countries, for her natural state peruse Eobertson's penitents in Corienties, Spanish America, Lord Hubert's ** Popery" in Henry VHI.'s reina, « Summary of the religious houses suppressed at the Dissoluti<)n," 1717, Beyle's "Promenades dbns Rome,** Ore/s Lental Sermons, uid the Missionary Narratives of Drs Black and Keith. These 100 Jesuit priests despatched by the Pope into England during the Commonwealth — ^vide back page 44>-^ were iiffitructed, says Father Commin, (one of them) in Ids confession, after detection, to advise the people ** To hate the Liturgy." " To pray spiritually and extempore." ** To despise ceremonies. " To call a set form of words the Mass translated." The Cross in Baptism, Conflrma-> tion. Bowing at the name of Jesus, etc., by all manner of hard names ; with a multitudinous mass of other deeep- tions too numerous for detuting and too revolting to iTtn. with V. a go«d NM| for In \t did not not there^ sBUttiiBga c»reo«iml dod it on anged his 3to.; they 9 obserre Apostle." d DY Hm- \t ms suo- this bible, ef with • 606, oon. Btimed by shbishopiE^ the Holy id, fortu- 's Supper, ^note, say ismissing one pro- iind least iy be said jrs on its natural Spanish 's reiea, at me Rome,"* arratrree ope into age 44-^ hem) in >le «To mpore." >f words nflrraa^ nner of deeep* ting to J lift describe. During 1617, the Jesnils in Ireland pubUshed prirately the Ubie of Afaenbmr %, with notes embodying the most detestable part of the^ creed : thisy also intro- duced to all their schools and colleges ^but Maynootht because, by receiring an annual grant urom England^ 'twaa open to public inspection, < th6 vile and Sanguinary theological writings of Peter Dens, which fierce and intolerant work is now the test-book of the Irish catholio priesthood as per order of their bishops. Queen Elisabeth counteracted the machinations of these wolres in sheeps clothing, by the appointment of 12 itinerant preachers who meeting them on their own ground thereby defeated their wicked practices. The excellent W. Oowper, Eaq.( brother of the poet, whose house at Olney is in ruins, but his favorite parlor a girl's school^ recently left £2000 for the same purpose. See what these restored Jesuits lately enacted in Switaerland, eleven of whom were sow- ing the seeds thereof in China, during 1841, but being caught by the Emperor were seized and executed. Further information as to the acts of this resuscitated, dimgeron8« and most unscrupulous order, may be obtained in l^Lomas' "Etrennes awe Jemites" published at Paris in 1826. They pervade every station in society, down even to the most menial, which, by a means known only to myselfy but, with all their craft and subtlety which bafflles them, I have again and again detailed : this, and far more than I choose to notice, is discoverable in their unparalleled document of ,„ THE JESUITS OATH. ''In the presmice of Almighty Qod and of all the suntSy to you my Ghostly Father, I do declare that His Holiness* Pope is Ohnst's Vicar General, and the only head of the universal Church throughout the- world; and that by virtue of the keys given him by my Saviour Jesus Cnrist, he Iiath power to depose heretical kings, princes^ and states, commonwealths and governments : all being, illegal witliout his sacred confirmaticms ; and that they may be safely destroyed. Therefore I, to the utmost ca my power, shall and will defend this doctrine and hit holiness' rights and customs against all usurpers.. I dp renounce and disown any alledanceas dueto any heretical king, prince, and state, named Protestant»i or obedience to any of their inferior magistrates or officers. I do further promise and declare that notwithstanding I am dispensed'' with, to a98um$ any rdigum heretiaalt for the fropagr Matthew Usintererted !onimeroial ixhibitions, out, which efend, that 'eet Police ler quicker lanism has ) too much I island two I houses in get drunk lave clean id popular imedasin ch enmity r will not lately an> perished, her three itimulants le. of Tuam, ialise the a whig. >ry extra, itative of udied in- edresshe sfore the urUament Church, ig cura- cies in populous places. Notwithstanding this truckling to papistry, 100 of its teachers embraced protestantism during 184S, besides Lord Galmory, the Hon. W. Butleri^. numerous lay converts, the Rev. ' R. Oaffray, with 28 other priests, and 72 converts to Mr Scott, curate of St. Audions, Dublin, exclusive of the entire monastery of Tou^hal. The last report of. " Society for the Ohurch Mission to Irish Roman Catholics." without noticing those of our six others, remarks — ''A large portion of the romish people are disbelieving the Mass, and thirsting for the truth of the gospel, especially to the West of Galway. In one part of the mountains of Cbnnamara 1700 have embraced our faith ; 401 others during a short tour of ^e Lord Bishop of Tuam through Outerard, Castletown, and Cllfden : and in the island of Achill, with a population of 6000, formerly all catholics, we have nqw nve churches, fully attended, with 1600 children in their attached schools." Our enemies bruit an occasional lapse to romanism with great exultation, but never notice these large thinnings in the papal ranks. Amongst Mr Oxley^s published reasons for joining us, 20 years priest in Leeds, Hinckley, and Leicester, are the following — ** Because I conscientiously believe the lead, ing doctrines of the Church of Rome to be opposed to the written word of God, and destructive to the peace, happiness, and morality of thousands of her own deluded votaries. That the celibacy of the clergy, I will not. say has been, but I declare before God is, the frightful cause of monstrous crimes. And that monasteries and nunneries, in each of which I have officiated many years as chaplain, are very often the cause of keen regret, fruitless tean^ and unavailing sorrow." The abolitionists of America have made BOv$p converts, but without any good result to the emancipated : a party of 35 taken to and manumitted at Philadelphia, aU. returned in about a year and. prayed to be restor^ to their former condition. Divers runaway ones after residing three years at Sandwich, Upper Canada, were discovered by their former master, whom they volun. tarily accompanied home, declaring they had never known what hard work meant till coming to Canada. Lord Auckland's dispatches, as Govemot General of Lidia, obtain — ** In Coort many of the slaves emancipated by Government on its own estates have, from various causes, destroyed their certificates of freedom, and j^ac^d them- selves under their former masters." The JBzeter Hall 124 ITEMS. r- •nti-ilaTery expedition to Africa, has so far succeeded in its intentionsi as to conrert' their now abandoned model farm thero' into an actual slare settlement, and the rery agents (blacks, who preferred remaining there) of that rery race which the expedition was sent out to oiTilixe, into practical slare-holders 1 1 i In Quillimane, Luabo, and all the Portuguese possessions, roluntary slayery, to escape the iron rule of their own chiefs. Is of general oc- currence, " Because," say they, " we have then white men to protect us, and see us righted when oppressed." The rast difference between our miscalled slares in Jamaica and those of other nations lie in the following facts: — ^At a certain age he ceased, bv law, from labor altogether, and was then supported by his master for the remainder of his days. He lired much beitter than any laborer in Europe; and when disposed to work, at orer- times, for himself, could saye from £20 to £30 a year ; by this means 40,000 had purchased their freedom in the Island. But since their emancipation labor is so imper- fectly perfomfed and themselves so irregular in attend- ance, that the former produce of Jamaica has dwindled to less than one half; whilst many estates that heretofore yielded a rerenue of thousands, now yield nothing i 'whilst the most atrocious slanders were heaped upon other planters, in order to carry the emancipation which, like that to the catholics, has effected nothing but disorder, ingratitude, and civil strife. Jamaica is ruined, and its capital, Kingston, laid waste by the incendiary fires of emancipated slaves. The liberation of a slave costs us £230, and a loss of life equivalent to one in every four slaves. We have spent £46,0000,000 and thousands of lives in attempts to suppress slavery, but it is more prevalent than ever.- Before emancipation 100 lbs. of sugar were made for 2s. 3d., they now cost a guinea. I have as great a detestation of slavery as any man, but I must first of all be satisfied that it is slavery before I can countenance its punishment, especially of a nature with that just recorded; for whilst rendering justice unto one we must not with- hold it from the other, as so impressively inculcated by God hinuelf, in his commanda to Moaes on the mcmagement and tale qfelavea. The New York committee of Vigilance passed inib Canada, last year, 1675 slaves : many entereji the Wilber- force settlement, situated 20 miles irom London, capital of the Huron District, comprising a sprinkling of rough ITEMS. 126 }ceeded in ned model d the rery re) of that to oirlliie, le, Ltt»bo, slareryi to i;eneral oo- white men 3d." slarei in following Tom labor ter for the 'than any :, at oyer. a year; lorn in the 80 imper- in attend- windledto beretofore agi ryhilst )on othor rhioh, like 1 disorder, d, and its y fires of > costs UB yery four f liyes in >reyalent gar wore as great rst of all nance its ecorded; lot with. 3ated by Mffement sed inib Wilber- capital f rough •hantiei and log-oabini, scattered amount girdled trees and fallen lumber, layed by a wet ditch they eleyate to a riyer, and call the Thames, erossed by two bridges formed of planks, supported by stuinps, dignified with the names of Westminster and Blackfriars, tnrown oyer said ditch, reaching, on extraordinary ocoffsions, the knee, but ordi- nary ones your ankle. .J "lis strange if the oppression of a slaye be really of that character abolitionists represent, that he has not found some means of telling us so himself. Note; the dark color of the negro is due to the secretion of a black pig- ment in the lower part of the common cellular tissue of the outer skin, while in the European the same cellular tissue is filled with a whitish matter. Of what this race may be capable, after a proper course of instruction, I do not pretend to determine, but that they are unfitted for the destiny which hasty, though well-meaning philanthropists would assign them in their iiiresent state, admits of no contradiction ; for where the argest share of liberty preyails amongst them, there idso predominates the largest amount of crime. Another remark unnoticed is — the liability of the free negro oyer a bondsman to the attacks of insanity : in Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois, free States, this proportion of the insane amongst the colored population is one in 88. In Massa- chusetts, New Hampshire, and Vermont, one in eyery 34 ; but in Maine one in eyery 14. A still more terrible result appears in the Northern States, where the negro has been longer free. Whilst in Virginia and Maryland, slaye states, the proportion of insane amongst their black population is but one in twelve hundred and ninety nint. These results, to those who can estimate the yalue of simple facts, will afford a perfectly decisiye argument as to tne fitness of that peculiar race for freedom, together with the benefits it confers upon them, and the community in which they may be found. Dr O'Brian, of Toronto, haying married an accomplished, but mulatto lady, his friends refused, on that account, to yisit him, a feeling which Sir John Golborne, then Qoyer- nor, endeayoured, but in yain, to remoye : they in conse- quence left the city, but on returning some years after lound no abatement in their fayor. Forty three single ladies, of Braintree, Massachusetts, lately petitioned their State Legislatui'e to repeal the. law forbidding them to marry negroes, which was granted. There is no account- ing for the peculiarity of taste. — ^M.A. 63 and 69. 130 ITBM8. OlAUTille, Chief Juitiod of Dominloa; Sharp, Attorney OenenI» with Oarriftway, Jndge of the Appeab in Barba- doei, are all mulattoes: thirty two editors of papers in the British West India Colonies, are negroes and mulat- toes ; also twenty one of their magistrates, and serenty four of their representatlTes in theu" Legislatire Councils, making laws for their masters the whites. Two thirds of the army and garrisons in those colonies are African soldiers commanded by white officers ; whilst the Church is abundantly supplied with black and mulatto clergy, men, and their Jurymen almost wholly taken from that class. Mr Oreg, ex-member for Manchester, addressing an assembly therein, said that a continental operatire ob- tained a comfortable meal for twopence, whilst ours pays four times as much for an inferior : the same priced meal might be had here, but our people wouldn't eat it; besides, saying nothing on our superior wages, are no allowances to be made for difference in climate and modes of liring? that which might content a Frenchman, or amplify a Dutchman, would effect neither, and be disgust- irig to an Englishman. We also have places where indi- riduals may fare satisfactorilv on a few pence per diem, but few, in comparison with the mass, resort thereto, for there is not a more improyident race on earth, barring the Irish, than our artisans ; which comes of demagogues addressing them as suffering innocents, never a word to disgust them with dissipation, or recommend a love of economy and domestic order. Nothing is impossible to a steady, sober, provident man, but all fails the idle, impro- vident and spendthrift one. Franklin rendered every man responsible for eveir thing ; but now the idea is of making him responsible for nothing. In Saxony the workmen and lower orders are so over- taken by distress, though in times of comparative aburid- ance, that potatoes three times a day, with a little sweet- ened water dignified by the name of coffee, furnish the sole support of the people. The wages of a lace-maker varying from one penny to two pence halfpenny per day, and an embroiderer of patterns four pei> < Though wheat is often 58. a quarter in Russia, yet the peasant and operative can't buy it because of their miserable wages, being but £7 and £S a year for their entire support! whilst the pay of a soldier, the Cossack,' for instance, is but 8s. 6d. the year 1 Wages in Germany, the Tyrol, and Austria, average 8s. 11 ^d. per week, whUst the hours of >f Attorney in Barb^. papers in md mulat- id serenty 9 Gounoilf , thirds of re AfHoan be Ohuroh to clerpy- from tnat ressing an ratire ob- ours pays riced meal I't eat it; )s, are no md modes ihman, or >e disffust- here mdi- per diem, jereto, for barring magogues word to a love of isible to a e, impro. ed every dea is of so over- Q aburid- e sweet, nish the e-maker per day. Though iant and wages, upportt noe, is rol, and tours of ITEMS. 127 labor in England are even less than in the United States, averaging 78 hours wofMcly in the latter, and barely 69 in*the former. The Reformer French paper of 1844 says, ** In our popuUition of 33,000,000, full 27,000,000 never drink wine ; 80,000,000 never taste sugar } 26,000,000 never wear shoes ; 80,000,000 never eat meat ; 17,000,000 never eat wheaten bread ; and 4,000,000 are constantly clothed in rags." A perusal of Mr Symon's Arts and Artisans, completely destroy the vaKue generalities of whig-radical writers, who are not at aU scrupulous about their means for deluding, provided they tend to deceive and mystify. We bring cotton in the raw state from Hindostan, 16,000 miles, and return it manufactured into every ap- pliance of consumption, and can still undersell the natives, though- a handfuU of rice serves for their sustenance, and they'r paid but two pence a day. The Ouckoo note of other babblers is " Our debt and taxation impoverish the people." But as- there are neither of those in the country Just mentioned, I would ask. Are the people better on where there is little or no debt, and no, or next to no taxation ? As I have already proved, in M. A. 132, that they are not, there is no necessity for xAy doing so here. As this class will not heed the voice of prudence, but pre- fer that of the demagogue, so therefore make one of them comparatively rich to-day, itnd he will be otherwise to- morrow. The coopers of a London brewery though earning four guineas weekly each, cannot wait till Satur- day night for their ^ages, but always draw a part before- hand. Koph's England and Wales says, that every nation has a dread of English operatives, on account of their dis- sipation, diseontent, and continual strikes for increase of wages. The operatives and plebeians of England, Soot- land, and Wales spend in ardent spirits alone £20,000,0001 a year I their public houses and beer shops average 100,000 1 ** What food did you get last week," asked the chairman of a member in a mechanic's Debating Club, assembled for discussing misgovernment and destitution, " Only eighteen pennith" was the answer. Being perchance present, and doobting what else he h&d taken, I elicited, oy some cross questioning, that he had spent 16s. on. gin, omitting beer and ale. Another, from his weekly wa^es of £2, gave his wife but 10s. for housekeeping, she ekemg it out by takine in washing, whilst their two children were olothed and educated by the parish. On attempting to 128 ITEMS. show the troie cause of their destitution, I was assailed with such a yoUey of abuse as impelled me to retire, learing them clamorous on the lack of food, but silent 'On the excess of spirit. We have writers that can screen this conduct under a specious plea of the peoples riehts, but never a word about their duties, obviously that weir own is not a whit better, as in a recent one who, though making £1000 a year by these means, yet died immersed in debt, leaving his wife and family in a miserable attic (passing himself off as a bachelor) to the charitable sym- pathies of a much-deceived world. The Anti-Corn Law League directed its agents into Ooffee-shops and such places, where debating clubs are held, and if they found a man of tolerable brass, (no great difficulty,) hired him at a salary of 9s. weekly, to spread their principles and gather subscriptions. To show how ignorant these fellows were, as well as their masters, of the subject they undertook, that a repeal of the Com Laws would bring an eight-penny loaf down to four pence, I have asked, without tneir being able to answer — ^What would an 8s. duty amount to in a loaf of bread ? — why it would make only a farthing difference on a four pound loaf. To show that tilling the earth is not qmt^ all profit, a report made to the Board of Agriculture, in 1790^ proves the expense of cultivating a farm of 100 acres to DO £411, increased 20 years after to £769. The secret of this manufacturer's league against the agriculturist is, if they succeed in their project, they would then have a plea, which 'tis their intention to enforce, to reduce the wages of their operatives twenty five and fifty £er cent. : which design against this easily deluded people, I carried on as usual under the guise of bettering their condition. '• Mr Yilliers, M.P., and of this school, in his speech against remodelling the Corn Laws, asserted that every man earning lis. per week, pays 13 guineas a year in taxes on the articles he consumes : to my astonishment this remained uncontradicted. The population of Eng* land, Scotland, and Wales is 20,000,000j whose contribu- tion to the taxes, according to this dictum, would be £300,000,000 ! Hear what Adam Smith says— « The la- boring classes contribute nothing of any consequence to the revenue." And Baron Dupin's statistics of 1846-«- <* England is less heavily taxed tnan France} and much less heavily than the United States." ITEMS. 129 a assuled to retire, ; silent'On an screen lee riehtB, that tiieir 0, though immersed able attlo able sym- ents into clubs are (no great bo spread how how asters, of 'om Laws pence, I jr— What ? — why it or pound quitti all , in 1790, acres to unst the ey would force, to and fifty d people, log their B speech at every year in lishment of Eng. ontribu- ould be The la. lence to 1846... luch less During nine yean^ from 1831 to 1840, that the radicals were in power, they remitted only £3,124,000 of taxes, paid off no debt, but borrowed loans requiring an annual interest of £1,127,000, and on quitting office left a deft- cienoy in the revenuo of £2,421,776 a year. During the nine years that the conserratiyes preceded them, they remitted £15,833,000 of taxes, paid off £47,772,564 of debt, reduced its annual interest £3,451,354, and left a Burpluss revenue of £2,667,600 1 This needs no comment. There are 95 Colleges and Universities in the United States, with 9224 members : 6 of those colleges have no teachers, and 7 no pupils ; one has but a single teacher, 3 others but 2, 5 have 3, 8 have 4, 10 have 5, and so on: 12 have only from 10 to 50 pupils, and only 8 but 200 each. Harvard and Yde alone have the requisite teachers for those branches taught in Europe. Schenectady college upholding no religion, and receivmg those that have been expelled from others, is therefore called Botanv Bay college. Our Universities of Oxford and Cambridge have nearly 12,000 students, exclusive of the 2 London and 1 Durham colleges, with the 4 Scotch and Dublin universities: including our 700 Grammar Schools, the number of ^oung men receiving a liberal education in our public institutions are twelve times greater than in all America. Messrs Wolf and Vroome, see A. 53, Govemors of Pennsylvania and New Jersey, said in their inaugral speeches, '< One half our electors are unable to write their names." but the Governor of Mississippi's last address averred that only one out of fifteen in his State could read! Amongst the scholars in one of their district schools were a mother and daughter aged- respectively fawr and nxUm years. Boys and girls are often taught or rather attempted to be taught in the same school, hence these two items placarded conspicuously in Uiem, " No boy shall write JSiUeyi Doctors to the gals." I suppose the word here meant to be bUlet-doux. "No kissing gals in school hours." In one near W , the following, scene recently occurred; Fuss class'n jografe. Tummus, What's the biggest river in Mereke? The Tom%bee, thir. Please Ike keeps a pinchin me. He pinch't me fust, thir, so I pinch't him back agen. Take yur seats. Fuss class'n parsin. Moses parse Arkansas. A-r-k, ark, a-n-s, ans, aikans, a-s-s, ass, Arkansas. That's speUin-r-not parsin, boy, and pronounce it Arkansaw. O'yeth'ur. HArkandsaw is a 130 ITEMS. nottn, objective case, indicative mode, comparative de- ?'ee, third person plural, and nomativ case to Sizzurs. ou havn't said what gender, Moses. Femenine gender. ; Why? Corzitz. Next. Dun-no. Next. Forgotun, thir. Oome David you know. Yeth'ur. Well, why is Arkansaw . of the femenm gender. Corzitz — Why, Corzitz got Miss Sour-eye on the Norf, Louzy-anna on the Souf, and Missus-Sip-eye on the East, and ever so many other she- males on the West. Very well, David, go ahead, youTl be « genus, Davy. Up class'n history. Tommy Sniggs ^ho was the fust hunter? Noah. Why ? Corz he got ul the beasts of the field, all the birds of the air, and all the fishes of the sea, into the Ark, and saved em from being drownded. That'll do. Dick, 111 ask you sumit about guvurment, which all Amereke boys shud know. What dye call that where many men rule ? That's a-a. Next. That's Locofoco. What'e mean ? Well, then, I seed it. Saw what? Why, at the meeting t'other night, where they was all presidents and vfce-presidents, and nobody else, cept me and black Sam. What guvurment is that in which the people rule themselves? Why, that'^ a federalism. Next. That's a Congress. Next. I know it — ^that's a anarchy. Go. Diggory Diggs, bring your composition. Here its ith'ur. *' Composition on wales and whale-fisheries. Wales are a mountainous country in the continent of England. Whale-fisheries chiefly goes out from New Bedford and Nantucket, round Cape Horn, which is crooked and hard to navigate. The people of Wales is Welchmen, and toastbd cheese called Welch Babbit. Permicity candles is got from whales ; there's no tnore about wales cept whalebone." The above transpired near the borders of Illinois, a' State not less remarkable for its unhealthiness, than the delusions respecting it ; new comers, from the swamps and exhalations of the soil, are attacked with fever, succeeded by boils spread over the frame, alike irritable as numerous^ which either proves fatal or leaves the patient a sufferer for life. When calling for breakfast here they ask « Will you have Indian corn and common doings ? two bits, or wheaten bread and chicken fixens, four bits." as the postern notice on a Saratoga hotel announces high living under the appelation of Tmfeed and Confeetwnary. Academical degrees terminate the names of many in my own country, with about as much right to be found, there as at the end of Jack Noakes or Tom Stiles: apart from our Northern friends, they are importations from ITEMS. 131 the United States, 41 of those precious articles they call L.L.D. arriving last year from that learned region, leav- ing an assorted batch to follow, procurable at a trifle above their cost of passage and parcnment, dog cheap it must be confessed, which is every thing with dealers in com- modities of that price. Their colleges, by the way, exceed every other in one feature, namely, the freauency with which the masters are assassinated by their hopeful students : Dr Davis, of Charlottesville University, va., rebuking a member fOr insubordination, the latter drew a pistol a 1 shot him deadl Principal Dwight, of Yale Gollerr^, > emonstrating with another, met the same fate from the bowie knife of the offender 1 A list that I could enlarge but from repugnance to do so : at which no reflecting mind can be surprised, for if, in the opinion of the wise, it takes three generations to make a gentleman, these patrons of lynch utw and the bowie knife have yet a long journey before them ere they can attain that distinction. The character now imparted to our artis(tns, imder the quackery of Institutes and Lyceums, is little better, and perhaps worse than no education at all, because it places them above their condition in life, rather than confining them within it, as it should, which is, or ought to be, ihe great end of education. The Duke of Welungton, when ^eakiQg on this subject in India, said, " Take care what use you make of education ; if you provide for the increas- ing wants of a highly educated and enlightened race, well, but ifnoti you are only making so many clever devili.** American « Odd Fellows" are 35,000, but ours 300,000, including many noblemen, numerous senators, clergymen and magistrates, with an income of £270,000 for charitable purposes : but they are of another order to Jonathan^ originating under Nero, A.D. 65, then called "Fdlow lOmiefOB/" afterwards " Odd Fellows" hj Titus Ceesar, in 79, from their singular notions, peculiarity of recogni- tion, and love of country. They spread themselves mto Spain and Portu^l about the fifth and sixth centuries, were established m France during the twelfth, and thence {Massed into England, where they are better known as « The Loyal Ancient Odd Fellows." A liberid English nobleman predisposed, through the renalitjr of our press, to admire every thing federal, changed that opmion on going there and judging for himself: one, and not least of the facts producing this, was the vulgar belief that a working man in America 132 ITEMS. pays no taxes ; but after inyestigating, his Lordship dis- corered that he pays more taxes than any hiborer in EneUmd, but so artnilly levied that an ordinary eye oan% and most others won't see them. Another aictual ex- aminant says — " Every operative in America pays twice as much in taxation as any similar one does in the Old Country." Hence the bold assertion, that the maintenance of their republic falls on the rich, is a eross delusion, as they do no such thing, but falls actueuly on the useful classes. Their regular, that is to say, the Union, the State, the County, and the Township taxes, let alone any oi^er, levy 20s. a year on each person. The peoples tax in the shape of rent, exceeds every other in Christendom. All bachelors are more or less, and in Maine, verv heavily taxed. There were 68 imprisoned in New York alone, during 1844, for Militia taxes, varying from 14 to 45 dollars each. The Corporation taxes of this city amount to $3,000,000 yearly. Doom and Doomage mean to tax at discretion, and a fine or penalty. They also tax every stranger, (cabin passengers 7s. 6d. and steerage 5s.) I shoidd like to know who but the poor and ne^y of these strangers erected her public works, laid down her x^iUroads, or cut her canals, and I would ask whose purse pud for all but that of another stranger — the deeply plundered John Bull's ? The next greatest tax after rent, comprises the time devoted to politics and electio9eering ; the waves of political excitement follow each other so rapidly as to render it a matter of amazement how the people can attend to the ordinary business of life. We are also told that America has no debt, (this my country, men can unfortunately deny,) no com laws, and no re- stricted importation. Then how is it that her commercial and other productions cost so much more than the same do in England ? And wherefore should all her classes be go dissatisfied, and her mercantile towns and cities droop- ing as if infected with the plague ? An item addressed to the advocates of free trade, a newly-devised sophistry amongst us ; for after the manner of the fickle Athenians, misn cannot now live without something new, in other words, the power of money to plunder the poor Of the just value of their productive labor. Their boasted Tariff levies a tax of $84,000,000 on all articles of domestic consumption ; two articles will show this vampire of indirect taxation makes them bleed at every pore : whilst apparently seeking a revenue on iron and coal of only $2,367,647, they extort a tax of ITEMS. 133 shipdis- >orer in )ye oan% tual ex- ys twice the Old ttenance ision, as e useful lie State* y other, xin the n. ae, very 3w York >m 14 to ihis city ge mean also tax rage 58.) leedy of own her se purse ) deeply terrenty jeering; >ther so low the •e. We ountry. nore- meroial ke same issesbe droop- Bssedto »phistry leniansy a other of the on all 1 show leed at on iron tax of $33,504,939 1 Ordinary woollen cloths are by th^e means raised 100 per cent, higher than selling for in Europe. I hare seen broad cloth fabricated in the States, fetch $12 a yard at New York, when a more serviceable one may be bought in England for $4. A elwer Yankee has disoorered a new way of making cloth without weaving, but how will it wear ? Why, on being saturated, like a sheet of paper after dipping into water. The discovery, however, is not new, as 'twas attempted at Lewishara, Kent, some 40 years since, but tumea out a failure ; like the fiM linen of Mr Cobden, leader of the Anti-Corn Law League, which, on being wetted, was found unfit to cover any thing but a sieve, the deception being concealed by an artful layer of paste, wlucn watering detected, and that Mr Fen'and, in a Par- liamentary debate, electrified the House by exposing be- fore it, in illustrating Mr Oobden's political pnnciptos, a radical representative for Yorkshire, which also produces manufactures of broad cloth for your cheap advertising tailors, in reality no better than ordinary flumel, though by the Oobden process is made to appear of a fine and proper quality, but the first time you are caught in a shower will be the last time it can be put on. Kentucky compels every one liable to. taxation to de- clare the amount and value of his property, and has also a legacy tax of 10 per cent., with others on duelling pistols, bowie knives, carriages, gold watches, whiskey, tobacco, hemp, etc. etc. In Mississippi a tax is laid on slaves, plate, and all property of real or imaginary value ; comprenending land and houses in Alabama. Louisiana has a poll tax of one dollar on housekeepers, second sons, every mechanic and husbandman, increased to fifteen upon lawyers aild physicians^ New York State alone produces $4,170,527 a year in taxes, which are every where higher than they were, for that which paid $21 in 1836, nowpaya $34, and the inhabitant who then paid $4, now pavs $7. Even their colleges are not exempt, for the printed cata- logue of Yale Oollege has this notification — ** Tax on the clMses from 5 to 8 dollars each student." Therefore no taxation in America is one of our greatest popidar errors. When Louis Phillip became an exile, he officiated as a public teacher on the Gontinent, and England in Dr Nicholas" school, Ealing, Mid., established and conducted by branches of Uie same family for upwards of a century. 'Twas his father (Monsieur D'Egaletl of the Revolution) who originated the term Hin^H^mMimf as thus — ^He com- 184 IT£SC8* manded a French Bqnadron, under D'Qrrillieri, attacldng sn enemy, whom he suffered to eseape : instead of being made Admiral, -on his return, he was appointed Oolond of Hussars, wMoh occasioned the equivoime of JSbrsMnorwM. Antoinette, the Queen, twitting the I>uke with this ap«i pointment, made him her mortol enemy, and eventuidiY caused his bringing her alon^ with the King her husband, to the scaffold, though in domg so he ultimately brou|^t himself there. When a teacher in Philadelphia, Louis Phillip would haye married ]^sb> Pearce, daughter of a rich citizen, but for her father declaring " She shoiild not demean herself by marrying a schoolmastsr." At the last meeting of the Schoolmasters* Society, before his enthronement, he attended, and after admitting many facts that did him honor, presented a donation of fifty guineas. There is nothing I more admire in this prinoe wan his discouragement of the infidel works of Yoltaire, whose miserable death-bed scene it has been so long the fashion to deny or explain away ; but the recent diBe 2^wg%d LaHtud known to be his, you might as well hare ntikde them 6000. The learned Dalrius, then only 19, in hii work. flluBtrating Seneca, quotes 100,000 authort 1 Hume and Gibbon are ably refuted in Dr Craven's future re- wards and punishments. Bowdler's edition of Gibbon is tiie only one fitted to be reed in families. Such principles as appear in Philostratus' sup|[>rB8Bed work would never, I imagine, have been heard oi^ if .the historioal part of the Bible were rightly distinguished from the Divine and prophetical ; but of alL opponents to con- tend against, your bigot, or one thct venerates his errors, has the least liberality, and therefore the hardest to be convinced. I have always regretted the spread of such sentences as << He who seizes thy cloak, give him thy coat also." and "Whosoever smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also." if embodied so as to simplify tiieir real meaning, they might be improved, but in their present form are objectionable as to love our enemies, whioh> literally, is not less unnatural than impossible; to eschew their example, and forbear re<|uitin^ them on falling into our power, are their only rational interpretOr* tion. Tomlinson's publication tries their elucidation, but fluls because Hutchinsonian which deem the Hebrew scriptures to be the elements of all true philosophy and general religion — as must always happen when the writer's aim is the elevation of some unheard-of t^iets. This am>lies to Dr Conner's Evangelium Medici, or explaining uxe miraculous cures performed by our Lord and his Apostles, on natural principles. Walter Cross is likewise as uiimccessful in his ^ Art of Expounding Scripture by the Points." Our best vindication of the vicarious Atone- ment of Christ, is Allen's "De Sacrificiis Libri Puo." Wemyss' ^ Biblical Gleanings." of passages generlally con* sidered as mistranslations, and Dr Coon's BibUc^. Expo- . sitor, on difficult ones, are excellent works of their kina. The hagiographical books of Moses and the Prophets, are so deformed by the errors and mistakes of transuktors, as to be a subject for deep regret to the devout and reflec- tive. A verv beautiful specimen of t^s sort, by Bennett, hebrakt to the late Bishop of Salisbury, has recently v^ peared. Dr Brown's Essay, which gained Bishop Burnetrs first prize of £1200, oses of reprisal ! In his former petty wars with Eng- and, on perceiving an Indian band amongst the British, le was seized with a sort of panic, his conscience telling lim why, that often lost the battle before a trigger was drawn. The real state of the case in his last £ustardly rupture with England, showine that war, even in the buccaneering stile with which he conducted it, is an ex- pensive amusement and glory a costly bauble, was the fol- lowing. The United States tonnage fell from 1,600,000 to 600,000 ; her imports from $86,000,000 to $10,000,000 ; her exports from $127,000,000 to $8,000,000 ; her custonu were at an end, and her credit gone ; whilst 2000 of her vessels were taken by British cruisers ; and a yearly de- ficit of $60,000,000 burthened her crippled resources, say- ing nothing about individual bankruptcy, and utter rum to trade all over the Union. So far from injuring Eng- land her resources in the same time had increased, her exports from £38,000,()00 to £64,000,000; her imports from £26,000,000 to £32,000,000; her customs from £11,000,000 to £14,000,000 i her excise from £24,000,000 m ITEMS. to J£SO,000,ddd ; her property tax from £18,000,000 to £16,000,000, and bo on ad innnitum. American! beliere that promotion from the ranki is unknown in the British army, which Is erroneous as S6 priyates have been so pro- moted in a single year, whilst in their army, which has been known to desert wholly in three years, this not only nerer happens, but they have a law expressly forbidding H. On the commencement of this rupture. General Porter ■aid in Oongress, that he would take Upper Canada with a corporal and six men ; which was answered, shortly after, oy the American General Hull, with an army of 14,000 men, being defeated and himself taken prisoner, at Queenston, bv a British force of some 600 men. One of their Generals addressing the Militia in this engage- ment, said — " Gentlemen, let me entreat that you will at least ftre once before running away." This modest re- ouest was hor :,irer disregarded, for they ran away without nring at all. In this war fell one Gordon, who was doing well on a farm in Upper Canada, when acquiring £1300 a year from the death of a relative, he returned to England. In about three years, having spent the whole, he re-emigrated, changed alike in character and reputation, which drove him to the army, in the above war, where he fell in a skir- mish, along with Jack Provine, a boon companion, but generally called Hogg, from himself, Gordon and others eing one night at a carouse, and the subject of rhyme arising, 'twas agreed that he who failed in making one, shoula pay the reckoning. John, sensible of his deficiency, and fearing the penalty, reeled over to his housekeeper, who, on learning his wants, furnished him with — ** Here's John Provine, Dmnk m » ewlne." When called upon, on coming to his turn, he gave out, agreeably to his condition, * ** Here's Jack Provine, ' "" Drank M » Hogi." Tom Yoss, blacksmith, another of these tipplers, died in great wretchedness. When settling in Canada, unable to rent a shop, he put up his anvil, and set his fire and bel- lows going out of doors. A distant neighbour started off to. employ him, but not finding the way inquired of ano- ther how far it was to tha smithery of Tom Voss. ** Tott are in his shop now," replied the man, a bit of a wftg, ** but its three miles to his anvil." ITEMS. 141 An IndUn, in the inowv «eMon, diicoTering a tide of reniton had bee a itolen from hii wigwam, punued the thief, and by his acute tracking pronounced him to be an old man, lame of one leg, walking with a stick, and ac^ companied by a dog : this prored to be the fact. He can nerer be lost in the wooob, because the sides of treea exposed to the North, are covered with moss, and othen towards the South, incline their branches thereto. On coming to a rirer he ascertains its depth by snuffing along its surface with his nostrils. The orthography of an Indian word, from havinff no dictionary, rests witn the in- dividual, and, when transiatinfl;, depends on the translator: peruse Jenning's Essay on Indian orthography ; '* Who are a tarnation lazy set, said a Yankee, like my son Josh, who can't write another's name with all its letters, spelling Andrew Jackson thus, *' &ru Jaxn." A party lanolnff at Hatter's Ba^, Kingston, on flndinff their rum diminiuied to about a gill, the chief rangine them in file took the rum into his mouth, and squirted each Indian's share into every open one in succession. Canadian fanners use as manure a species of white oalcined stone, which, after crushing, is scattered super- ficially and works wonders. Unprepared ground plaster attracts all offensive parts of animal effluvia, tnereby rendering the surrounaine atmosphere pure and whole- some. This is done in public and private nouses, barracks, or crowded dwellings, oy mixing it in whitewash, sprink- ling it^ on the floors, or setting it out moistened in shallow vessels. A township of land ordinarily comprises 8840 acres, but sometimes more, as those of Dumfries, Molton, and Woolwich, contain a grant of 90,000 acres alone to three individuals, 25,000 acres whereof, in the latter township, still stand in the name of ihe original grantor. One horse consumes the produce of three acres of land yearly, and as a man, his wife and two children, ^can sub- sist on that of half an acre, it follows that twenty four individuals can be fed on the produce of land which now feeds only one horse. A Goat or two tied up in farm stables and cow-houses, with another running loose in their yards, will prevent disease amongst cattle ; and Garlic at the bottom of grain stacks keep rats and mice from entering : also — Where'er a Partridge and the Mole abound, t The dangeroue Wireworm !• never found. American fisrmen adopt creature as a plural for horses, oxen, and cows: also norse-oolt for colt, and mare-colt 142 TTEMS. tor illly. Our «Cock" is* their **Ihodl^ of hay, which Sthered in manhea is Meadow, bat from uplands, English y : 1(^000,000 head of cattle and 44,000,000 of weep are kept on a territory not larger than the State of TSew York, and raise annually fire times more grain than Ihe hitter. In 1888 above 15,000 poor were relieved in Massachu- setts, exceeding all Scotland. In Philadelphia 2000 of its principal citizens failed, numerous factories were closed, and large masses destitute. Mr Clf^in Gongress said "We hear of distress every where. The circubtion has been reduced 60 per cent.'^ ** Full 60,000 New Yorkers will rise up this morning, Dec. 31, 1841, without food for the day or lodging for the night." ** The Belief Associa- tion, Jan. 25, 1842, find numbers gtaroingt feeding lOOOiu four days." Whilst 500 families in Cincinnati had theit water cut off fh>m inability to pay rent: twelve p^ersons 9t New York, and ten in Pniladelphia, 1844, died in one night from cold and starvation ! the former cify maintains 5000 paupers, and 10,000 others swarm public places. Of the 20,495 families in Boston, its most aristocratic town, 15,754 keep no servant, 4042 only one, and but 340 more than two each, and of every 100 persons commenc- hig business, as well as in her other principal cities, 95, at least, die poor. Jying a eiroular bit of briMM called « ringi imaging 144 ITBM8. hiibself a gentlemaii, but m these claims to that distinc- tion are by no means eonrincing, we must ther^ore be excused from bowing to their dictum. « Of and from the date." and ** From the date." which had agitated the profession for 200 years I was decided by the Court of King's Bench, Nov. 21, 1777, to mean one and the same thmg. Attomies pay an annual tax of £70,000, and the profession generally £200,000 moie. Fort^ shillings damages in an action for libel, and a fartmng only in another of trespass, throw the costs of both on the loser of the suit : there are ordinary cases, however, in which one farthing damages carries costs, and others wherein it does not, unless the Judge certifies, which, if he refuse to do, leaves each party to pay his own costs ; thereby likening the law to something like a ground-glass window, which may afford light enough for certain rooms and passages, but would puzzle Biabohni himself to see through. Eyre, means the court of justioea itinerants, say our lexicons, and their next word is Ewyt the place where Urds offrey build their nests and hatek. Judge Findi, in 1616, first put on bands, and assumed by clergymen in 1625. Law pleadings were changed from french mto English in 1362 : most of their terms in ours are inapplicable to any thing else, but many in the Scotch take a wider range, thus when a man in that country leaves his wealth to the poor, he is said, legally, to mort^ them, or another loses liis elder brother s estate, it u called a conquest. Law charges were not always so high as we now find them, vide this extract from the Register of St. Margaret's, Westminster — " Paid Roger Fylpot, learned in tne law, for his counsel 3s. 8d. with ybur pence for his dinner." Cheap law admits of a query, America to wit, whose people are in one eternal broil of law and lynch. A former legal firm in the city dealt largely in discount, preferring those bills they knew to be foiged, because on these they exacted their own terms I hannng is too good fof such scoundrels, yet they retired on large fortunes! well may the moralist exclaim — ^"The ways of heaven are dark and intricate." 'The first Canadian steeple chase was near Montreal, Oct. 15, 1840, and won by Colonel White of the 7th Hussars, who rode his own horse Heretic. Its original pack of Fox hounds is removed to Cobourg, and replaced Dy another ; Mr Chapman, near Toronto, has a third : the outlay, in England, for a pack is X80Q, and thair annual cost £1000. Two of the Irish laboreza of Ooto^el ITBM8. MS Macdonald, in the Ottawa Distriotf returned home with iheir Mrings, £AO0, and £50 respeotlTely ; the latter, by prudent management, soon made it hunctreds, and became rich ; the former, on the contrary, presently lost all, wad returned to Oanada for subsistence. A serious Scotch family on the OoloneVs estate, when sitting down to meali» had their food, as if by magic, oyerspread by a layer <^ excrement, of so offrasive a nature, as to drire item to ihe open air : 'twas witnessed by the landlord and Ida friend Captain Keams, M.P.P. Its adyent and 0^ WP9 both a mystery. '.'-/r A^stw Old country malt beyerages are made (i.e. fabriettted) in Montreal and Toronto : Madeira produces 30,000 pipei yearly, yet 60,000 are sold in America. Wine establish* ments at Gette and Marseilles send their made up wineg to Oporto, and by collusion there with the custom-house authorities, Are reshipped as genuine, to all parts of Burope : quantities were lately seized at Paris and thrown into the Seh^r when myriads of poisoned fish rose on ita surface; T^ity • iwners hadn't been thrown in with it: we may rep) ( purse stolen from us by robbers, but who can repn . ^ oonstitution destroyed by these adulter!^ tions ? Much of this culsh was spurious Hock, ex Hoekm heim yineyard. Duchy of Nassau, producing but 12 casks annually, selling for £1800. Grapes decrease in flayer and richness the farther they are remoyed from the ground. Some Germans haye reared yineyards at Veyay, below Cincinnati, or Pigopolis, from its great trade in porl^ a very apposite name, as Cincinnatus is literally raaged-heiad, of which its people are unconscious as the noble Bomaa families of the Suilli, the Bubulli, and 'the Porci, that those names designate them the descendants of a swine* herd,- a cow-herd, and a hog-butcher — ^with great succesBy though most yehicles around and in the neighbourhood bear the initials of three Ts, denoting their owners to bo teatotallers, which induces me to obserye, the same delu* sion preyails here, as I haye before shown to be so ram- pant in Ireland touching the article of temperance, public pledgers of liquor abstinence being continually detected as priyate tipplers of strong waters ; calling for beer when they mean cordials, and supplying themselyes with ginuid braady under the names of cider and wine; whust Uie grog-snops of New York always haye on hand, for their tempercmee customers, a preparation of whiskey punoh and St. Croix rum, concealed oy the cognomen of .MaU^ prMadehra. . ;. ,;; .vu^a „ .i; . J »^ '.- *i* UifC 146 ITEMS. The following illustrates teatotalism in their steam- boats: When on Lake Erie in the Daniel Webster, a iplendid temperance ressel, the appearance of a storm, ■o dangeroiis on this Lake, anchored her at Toledo. The captain, crew, and passengers, numbering 160, reptured, upon landing, to a hotel, but which, being Sunday, was efosed, and Its landlord at church, from which he was speedil^r withdrawn and made to throw open his houses into wmch they all rushed like so many thirsty fishes, and nerer miitted till consuming erery liquid in the shape of malt, whiskey, rum, and brandy. 112 of their steamboats on the Western waters alone, were blown up and destroyed in 1849, causing a loss of $2,000,000 and 600 liresl Dashes of these oyershadowings in character preyail iamongst Canadians, arising, doubtless, from their proxi- mity to the States, all of whose transactions are too much in the style of their ** Jump Jim Grow.'' to be either last- ing or respected : never pausing to deliberate in any thing, except when called on for acts of honesty and integrity, then indeed they become so marvellously procrastinating that, since the days of Washington, I can nardly dare to Tenture on a single case in either. The streets and leiges of Montreal are as impregnated with the filthy weed as New York, whose Tobacco in- spector has a salary and perquisites equalling the Presi- arat's ; its sheriflf as much, and he of Philadelphia £2000 more. Its original name Petun was changed to Tobacco (herba nicotian!) on entering Spain. The amount smuggled equals that on which duty, 900 per cent., has been paid : Sir W. Raleigh brought it to Eng- land in 1686 — ? — ^for an ancient chimney piece in Cawdor Oastle^ Scotland, has a rude carving in stone of a Fox smoking a tobacco pipe, dated 1610. Those segars called, because made in Wnitechapel, are manufactured from the Indian Com leaf: Tobacco is adulterated full 26 per cent, by means of Chicory, molasses and water. The Niagara Falls have retrograded 60 yards in 40 years, and the Horse-shoe Fall receded near the centre, much lessening their attraction and number of visitants. Gfoing from Kingston to Montreal I passed the thousand Islands, patches of land dotting the St. Lawrence river M the aits do that of the Thames ; and went through the tey/rlj discovered Lachine Rapids passage, but, from their great danger, would not repeat. From the skipping and tonnage list on lake Ontario we have ftve-sixths o£ the ooinmerce on this great high-way (Query— wat«r-way^ ITEBIS. lit through which the produce of eleren Statetjpau to the West Indies via Canada instead of New 'Sork. Lake nsrigation, especially Erie, is dangerous during gales^ that of Norember 18» 1842, destroyed many ships, lOQ lires, and immense property. American lakes contain more than half the fresh water on our globe. Tfaig storm also yisited Natchez, Mississippi, destroying million! worth of property, wherein, though some say Nashville General Count De Misles, who commanded 12,000 men under Buonaparte, is now teacher in a daj school! a second ex-noble, a house carpenter, and divers others wood cutters and water carriers I An item for the turbu* lent and unprincipled, which leminds me of this passage in President Houston's speech to the Texians — "When the Indians returned home, traders went out with them packing poison, with a yiew to kill off all that ate with them: 350 Gumanches were poisoned and died. This the Indians called a foul murder by the whites ; no such thing, for 'twas only murdering traders that did it!" When I add that said President has yiolated every law both human and divine, I need say no more on tms at- rocious passage, nor dilate on the beautiful quarters chosen by " The German Emigrating Company.^' lately arriving, forming 31 persons, all princes and nobles. Houston, the capital of this precious republic, is so sickly as to have lost its population twice over in five years : ito territory is better known as " Thevaller/ qfrascaU" This sweet sample of democracy is now confederated with the United States, illustrating the apothegm — ^Birds of afeather flock together. To curb the vagaries of certain political writers, 3618 vessels from 1814 to 1840, were added to our mercantile service, with 30,000 seamen, and 15,000 men to our navy, whilst our steamers received an increase of 1000. lliose of them that repudiate our colonies, show their utter ignorance of the subject, and heartless principles that govern them, which have led, and are stiVL leading to serious blunders in legislating. The new shrine at which they are now worshipping iajfree trade : having lived long enough to know the disappointment that too often at- tends the possessioi^ of new things, after the noveltv has worn off, I do not stop to inquire if theirs be of tlu^ character, but after submitting whether until other nations consent to remove their restrictions upon trade it would be wise in us to dd so with ours, since the first move ,we made that way was met by the Americans putting on the us ITEMS. dttities ura had taken off, I will biieflT obsenre— the dureet annual revenue deriyed from our forty colonies, which these politicians deem of no value, is nearly £24,000,000, while the whole expense of their civil government, de- frayed from the Imperial treasury, is barely £200,000 : tiieir maratime commerce is £55,000,000, of which £26,000,000 were exchanged with the mother coimtry, equalling a trade of twice as much with foreigners, employing for the last six years, 25,000 ships. The v^ue of British produce and manufactures from this source alone, during the last 15 years, has risen from 35 to £60,000,000. The number of seamen employed in our Western Colonies is 60,000, besides 10,000 more in our India and China trade, at present in infancy, but possess- ing vast capabilities. Our trade with the United States requires 400 ships, whilst British North America and the West Indies employ 3000 more. Over and above these eonsiderations, they add materially to our military strength : the troops of the line in our colonies amount to 160,000 men, and the militia 240,000 more. The colonist who, while in England, consumed but £5 worth of British manufactures yearly, requires £20 worth in his new home. The protection of our Indian Empire, comprising 100,000,000 souls, is entrusted to an army of 260,000 men, wholly natives excepting about 20,000 British soldiers. When master Jonathan amuses himself by abusing us Orientially, 'twould be well for him to remember this, and ask his brother of Carolina, or any other of that character, if he or they dare follow our example. No history furnishes a parallel, more especially for the increased welfare and nappiness of its people, than when under their native chiefs, so vividly detailed in the Oriental work of the Swedish Baron de B , who travelled much and resided many years therein — ^Parbury & Co., Leaden- hall Street. The late 2t&era( Sir Charles Metcalfe intro- duced what is called a free press here, in other words, - permission for every scheming and unprincipled vagabond to deal in freedom of calumniation for designing and selfish purposes; accordingly strife and animosity were stirred up between hitherto contented and peaceable tribes, which occasioned great trouble in some, and much blood and treasure in others to suppress. Note: the health of our colonial troops is as follows : Taking the average strength at a 1000, tne ratio of mortality at Sierra Leone is 483 1 Jamaica 121 ; Windward and Leeward Islands '78 ; Madras Presidency 48 ; Bermudas 28 ; niBiiB. 140 Matuitiiii 27; St. Helena and the leniui bUmdf 35; Oibndtar 31 ; Malta and Oanada 16 ; Nora Scotia and New Brunswick 14, same as in the UiUted Kinedom ; tk« Oape of <}ood Hope 13, and on its Eastern frontiers: hence the latter is the smallest, and Sierra Leone the lanest, approaching a pestilence. The run of the Gunard steam line from Liyexpool to Halifax is 2471 miles, fr>m ^^ ''fax to Boston, the only dangerous part of the pa . ^e, . "^2 miles : by gun I < i,^ the expense exceeded the return^ ^v £40,000 a year : wdt a balance of £20,000 appears already to the credit side of the Atlantic mails. The emoluments of the captain are 10s. for every adult passenger, 6s. for every child and servant, one per cent, on amount of freightage and letter money, with twenty guineas a month pay. As we annually require 1,200,000 loads of timber more than we grow, Oanada supplies us with three-fifths, at a duty of 10s. per load, and Norway, Sweden, Russia, and Prussia, the remainder at a dutj of £2 15s. The com- mon cause of wreck amongst ships from Quebec is load- ing them with floated deals, making them so heavy that they cannot rise on the sea, and, in bad weather, lying straining therein like a water-logged vessel. Timber bought in the raft subjects the purchaser to great ex- pense in dressing, butting, and at times heavy loss from UuUs— if sold in shipping order the charge of shipping only is to be added. The revenue of Canada (1844) after defraying all expenses, left a balance of £183,197. Note : £100 sterling is £121 13s. 4d. currency, to reduce which to sterling multipy by 60 and divide by 73, or sterling to currency add one-fifth to the sterling amount, and one- twelfth to the one-fifth. Money was first called sterling under Richard I., because his moneyers were eaaterlinga from Prussian Pomerania. Rambling in Canada, I came one day to a well-cultivated garden which, after the miserable ones I had passed, attracted my attention : presently there issued from Uie house a comfortable-looking hMtan, a term, by the way, wholly misapplied : upon Cartier's landing, when his fol- lowers saw a native they said " Here's a h On Mtumliig to Europe Tis New Tork bate nothing to do with pftdcet agents, out arranf^e with the oi^plain or owner, though eren this has its nsks, Tidelioit a Yankoe Quaker, fitted up the steerage in his sliip the Stephen Whitney running to LiTerpool, for 13 i>assenger8» (the remainder occupied by Cotton, which is a dangerous oargo because liable to spontaneous combustion,) but on gettinff to Sandy Hook tney were increttsed to 34, without any additional space 1 remonstrance was met with— ThatTi no fault of ours, but the owner's — ^besides they were then at sea : I saw the steerage when theyarriyed at Liyerpool and shall neyer forget the scene. When alighting at the Albany terminus of the Syracuse railroad, en route to filmland yia New York, being recognised along with some others, as Englishmen, a cry was raised ** Down with the Ibiglii^ dogs. <*D(m't take out the baggage of the Ei^lish dogs I" When that which passes by tro name of liberty is suffered to trespass on decorum, it then becomes intolerant and as naturally licentious. I can allow a great deal for loy e oi( country, but nothing for yulgar impudence. Much as I deprecate such a state of things, I fear there are no hopes of a change for the better, until these oon- eeited jpiccolomini haye receiyed a seasonable lesson from some European or belligerent power : but on reflection I dismiss the point : although this region is not less ob- jectionable to the leiges <^ the old country, because the oommon sewer thdreof, I think we can hardly be sufficl. ontly grateful, on that account, for an Alsatia so remote from our own borders ; and whilst we feel the real blessing of their riddance, let Jonathan enjoy the equiyocal one of their possession. We can therefore well afford him the priyilege of opening his mouth upon such occasions, but in doing this would recommend nim to haye a care that it is not too wide, lest the fearful consequencoB of a lock-jaw should happen to foUow. 4 7i'>j; C ■ ' < ■ U m ! ** ■is . . . 'ill <»*:jf.*r ^r-r.r.-'^ *.! i..' ** >r' <3ii returning to England, after retiring lome time In WiltB» for yiiiting the tomb and thote scenes in whiob my mother most delighted, I aooepted the proposfJs of an aeademloian in Suffolk, in exterior reBembiing our ancient pedagogues, a class more respected than they are now. Tide O. P.'s ** Vocal Organ." Oxford, 1665. He was aUa and efficient, which our discerning public rewarded in tiieir usual way, that is by seldom rewardin|; at all, neyer- theless, by prudent management and a thnfty helpmatoi he had reaJised a provision for old age. As any new lexicographer always bespoke his attention, so Noah Webster bad a corresponding share, until my telling him that Noah had published four others, each dufferinK from its predecessor, and so full of contradictions as to nil ten pages of Cobb's Gritical Review ; and that no American, nrom Silliman's Journal to a penny daily, foUows him as a standard. Oobb, aforesaid, received $26,000 for his American Reader, and Bonnet, New York, $40,000 more for his Book-keeping. Jonathan has just found out that spelling books and dictionaries can no longer teach ortho- graphy, but oral or Mrritten sentences on a slate ; main- taining that reading and spelling should be commenced at the same time, with words first and letters afterwards I truly a clever invention, very like teaching a lad to walk when he can already run. Mavor^s Sjpelling book has gone through several hundred editions, all inferior to the original. Carpenter's, school* master, Ilford Essex, ranks next, producing an annuitv of £200, not to the author, who sold it for XIO, what tjbien must Mavor's produce? Vyse's, academic at Westham Abbey Gate^ brought him 2000 guineas, and Dilworth's, dying at his residence in Wappin^, 1780, 1000 more, tnough both are now seen only in humble quarters. That of Mayor's, from necessary brevity of its subjects, exemplifies the education of our day, mere surface with- out depth. Mavor was assistant at a school in Oxford- shire, thence entered the church, where he obtained £rom the Marlborough family his livings of Woodstodc and Hurley, worth £600 per annum. He compiled many useful works, and enjoyed a ramble in the grounds w 152 ITEMS. I' Blenhem Oattle, when tutor in that noble family, which was ultimately flniihed at the charge of the celebrated hero himself. Here I officiated as assistant and drawing master ; in the former satisfactorily, but the latter questionably— Tidelidt: "You say our Sammy plays marbles better than he draws : sure you haven't seen his drawins under t'other master ?'* I replied by bidding Samuel, or lent to the loi'd, sketch the figure of a Cow then grazing opposite, which, on accomplishing, ho presented to his parents. ««Why what's this?" they asked in amaze. "Hold," I obserred, " until 'tis finished." Then diverting their attention, pretended to direct Sammy, but in reauty did his work for him. This was the more necessary, for without the original being at all deformed, his sketch had made her so much so as to resemble nothing living. On re-exhibition they were delighted : I, however, deemed it my duty to undeceive them, thereby exposing the manage- ment of my predecessor ; a management to the full as much accepted, as it is unscrupulously practised: but Master Sammy discontinued drawing. Such was the parents discernment, and, Mr Reader, at a pinch, may per- adventure be thine also; seven-tenths of our globe oeing water may perhaps account for this watery-headedness. Parents, touching their offspring, are feeble reasoners, and, without doubt, as partial judges. If Bobby ad- vance in his studies, according to said dictum, he has parts : Tommy, a perfect noodle, stands stock still ; thereupon the master, as this authority has it, is, hammer and tongs, in fault ; but if, by a coup de maini he succeed in advancing him, then Tommy has parts ; in neither instance does he gain credit, whilst his pupil obtains it , wholesale. A vast deal of this may be attributed to the suspension of the rod and cane, and the unwarrantable liberties that parents now take with schoolmasters ; if one correct an idle urchin, he tells his mother, — who will not have her sweet boy beat, no, that shi") won't, — the boy is removed and ruined : they dare not use even wholesome correc- tion : hence, on this very account, I have known many children in charity schools better educated than those in which this dire incubus prevails. Others complain that the holidays are too long, but invariably return them sometime after, and even then Admit 'twas no easy matter. Many an establishment has ITEMS. 163 been ruined by iti proprietor heeding such fonroses in domestic improrementB for their darlingSi which they regularly req^uite by removal. Our Principal had the usual keys, for which our com- plicated language and addenda are ample apology, but their management requires son.e tact, so lon^ as a notion prevails that thoir patronage implies deficiency: when of limited experience myself I thought so too, but a very short acquaintance with the scholastic world convincea me I was wrong ; as others, however, may not be of that opinion, or have equal facilities for changing it, 'tis advis- able to consult them cautiously, since errors are easier got into than out of ; and for every one that knows thi8» you shall encounter masses incapable or careless about doing BO. The mode of treating scientific subjects by many authors very often puzzles themselves, that may well excuse their puzzling others ; which parody on com- mon sense is much admired by those most approving what they least understand. Mr W had a Goverdale Bible which formed his daily routine : for the only perfect copy found at Holk- ham Hall, dated 1534, a London bookseller offered £600 : Ooverdale's remains in St. Bartholomew's Church, were removed in 1840, to that of St. Magnus London Bridge. To those licentious freedoms with the holy volume, Noah Webster has added what he calls a correct edition, whom with Lindley Mux ray, born at Westema, Pennsylvania, a transatlantic author thus criticises — " There never were but two men that could speak and write the English language properly, Lindley Murray and Noah Webster* and they did both so very correctly that nobody coidd understand them." Our present most noted perversion of style, adulterated English, monstrous coinage of words, and sentential unintelligibleness are to be found in Garlyle's History of the French Revolution. " The Red Book." by Barnes, an American, estimates our errors in orthography sA/our thomand. i Amen'jan Polyglot Bibles, aU inEngUsh, are vei^ com- mon and as profitable to their publishers, but their texta most inacurate, and by no means to be relied on, as the two following, in a French translation of 1638, under Charles VUI., are forced into the 32nd chap, of Exodus— " The dust of the golden calf which Moses ground and strewed upon the water, of which he obliged the children of Israel to drink, sotJced into the beards of those that 154 ITBMfl. had wonhipped it. and remained upon them ai a mark of their idolatiy." And " The children of Iirael ipat upon Hur, who had refused to make them godi, in luon ahund- ance that thev 8til|ed hfm." A learned oiblical writer (Hewlet) asoribei the extra- ordinary age of the patriarchs to a misconception of enumeration, borne out by discrepancies in various teztSi which, in upwards of 14 instances, differ even bv hundreds. WhenFaustus first issued his bible in 1462, ne charged 500 crowns per copy, but afterwards lowered to 80. Its book of JoD, says the learned Dr Garnett, Bishop of Glogher, 1749, in his Dissertations thereon, is an allegorical drama, reprosonting tbe fall and restoration of a captive Jew, to reojmmend the virtue of patience. In 1839 a petition to the Lesislature from Monroe Gounty, State of New York, headed bv their chief Judge, prayed that the bible might be expelled, bv penal enactment, from all their schools. The bible used by Oharles I. at his decola- tion is preserved in the royal library of Berlin, and hit prayer book, used on the same melancholy occasion, brought by auction, in 1825, £100. When his statue at the Royal Exchange was lowering to be cleansed. May 13, 1824, the head, singularly enough, severed from the shoulders. His faithful servant Colonel Winslow died in 1766, at the great age of 146 years. The first Hebrew bible put into type was at Soncina, Italy, in 1488. The inconvenience arising from havine several versions, all varyine in some measure from each other, is peculiarly felt in the French language, for in the Channel Islands, which are under the jurisdiction of the Bishop of Winchester, there are no less than six different versions. Hill and Field's Bible of 1659, with divers others, both before and since, are full of the grossest misprints, which Eilburne's "Dangerous Errors, largely notices and as properly rebukes : whilst verses 7 and 8 of John's Epistles, chap. 5, are not, say Calmet, Person and others, in early copies, being introduced by the opponents of Arius and Eusebius, who, with Justin Martyr, Dionysius, and other fathers of the Church, den^ his Apocalypse of Revela- tions, ascribing it to one Cerinthus, annexing the Apostle's name to give it currency. The Greek Church does nOt reco^se it, and Michaeiis, a great authority, says 'twas received into the Church of Rome rather by accident than deliberate examination. (The first Greek church in England was recently erected in London Wall, Bishops- ITEM8. 155 g«t6» At a coat of £6000 : the only place for thii fonn of worship in England was hitherto a imall chapel at the Ruuian Ambauador's.) How much BO erer we may require a retranslationi lo ably advocated in La Gene, 1727» it it not the single efforts of individuals, much less a republican, that can or ought to satisfy our wants, any more than Bellamy's of 1813, which, after two numbers had appeared, died, as it ought, a sudden death, because a profanation of tho Scriptures characterises republics— M. A. 67. Orom- well offered £1000 to a Cambridge printer to print ** W^** for " Ye" in v. 3. c. 6. of Acts, many curious particii) An of whom, whence Mr Cromwell, curate of St. Peter's, Maidstone, descends, are contained in " The Court and kitchen of Elizabeth, wife of Oliver Cromwell." Theno freedoms disappeared with the return of our ancient kings, who restrained them by fljie and imprisonment. Oziord offers a guinea for any discovery affecting the sense, and half a crown for a typographical error in any edition of the Bible issuing from their press, which yields a revenue of £20,000 a year, and that of Cambridge £10,000. On our mathematical master coming into a consider- able fortune, he was supplied by another from M. Dillon, Rochester, Kent, a French emigrant, and participator in our bounty to his exiled countrymen, which, from 1795 to 1802, amounted to £1,785,766: a most benevolent feature, yet I am unable to produce any evidence that its recipients thought so, though abundant enough that they afterwards requited it with ingratitude. Monsieur was, as matter of course, an ex-noble, (a slip perhaps for ex-^arber^) though his name is not to be found in Gr ^ ni^ry's List of them. French Canadians from their great horror of improve- ment in an^ thing, would be unintelligible to a Parisian, as was Louis 18th, in numerous words, especial! v jn^tMur. Palsgrave, Princess Mary's preceptor, first Teduced this language to n'ammatical rules, and dedicated to her Fa- ther Henry vlll. ; her copy lately fetched £30. Our first Frencn and English dictiona? y, which has 70 dialects, is Hollybond's 1693 ; Sherwood's explains its old writers, and Ventaniblac's its Literature. The Spanish bishop Caramuel's Cabalistic and Audacious Grammars — singu- lar names for such works — ^with his other 262 books, and M.S.S. excite our wonder for their strange charac- teristics. . k 16« TTEUB. I ' Moiudeiir Dillon and associates regularly desecrated the sabbath in gambling and singing songs I ** Gonfeision* of Gouteau afford a faithful picture of French prinei* gles and morals. Dice and chesS) says Heroditns, were irented by the Lydians to beguile tbem of food in a sea-> son of scarcity. The Duke of Bedford, in 1478, was de« prired of his title for losing his estate by gaming, whidt engulphs, in the 40 hdlt west of London, £7,000,000 an- nually. Is not the object of a frequenter of the gamiag table to win the money of another? if he fail in this and lose his own, by what right does he complain ? Let him first show that himself is blameless before questioning the integrity of others. For my own part, I would have ererv risitor to a gaming table, if the consequences rested witn himself, reduced to absolute beggary, for then we might entertain some hopes of its abandonment. Monsieur's sabbath-breaking was well known to his pa- trons, the public, and that Madame was one of two sisteni) conducting a seminary near Windsor, seduced by him whilst their French master; butj then, he was a foreigner whose very vices, in their estimation, verily seem as so many virtues : whilst an Italian from the Opera house visited the young shoots of this city once a week as danc- ing master, for the small matter of £2000 a year : on amving here he hadn't sixpence, and had he staid at home no means of getting one, but can now retire on £3000 a year ; though ill-concealing his contempt for the land and people where he got it. Mr Harrington, the teacher of this art, which is simply restoring na,ture to what she would have been uncorrupted by bad example — in the celebrated establishment of Mesdames Wood and Green, Bury Saint Edmunds, was unrivalled for imparting an inimitable ease and grace to his pupils — ^replaced, amongst all the foreigners I have seen, by unnatural distortion and theatric caperings. This master was cousin to Gulmer, or Blue Dick, of Thanet, from wearing blue instead of black, and of St. Peter's, Cambridge, which received, May, 28, 1837, a do- nation of £20,000 from an unknown individual : he was of Sheppey, or the Island of Sheep, held to be made from the refuse of others! and Sneemess commonly called Sheer-nastineas. Gulmer was regarded as an infidel, for endeavouring to correct a fanatic in his usf of the Camel and needle's e^e. ** A simile, to be perfect, must agree in its analogy, whi annoy the Jews, placed the figures of hogs over the gates of Jerusalem, which word inventioriy say thtj FsitherSy means finding, a glossary uncalled for as, on cai'efuUy, examining the subject, there can be no doubt of its innentUm. Monsieur like Madame — with a very small nose, which Tartarians admire, deeming their prince Khaii's wife irresistable because having two holes only for ft nose—* was no chicken in years, yet carried remarkably -si/ ell from his temperance and love of singing, votaries whereof rarely die of consumption, by which many persons pre« disposed thereto have been cured, because strengthening and invigorating the lungs, like recitation and reading aloud, which induce longevity in schoolmasters, tutors* and public speakers. Sacred music is at all times acceptable to me, particu- larly the Penitential Psalms of Groces, but that which aflfected me most, n performed in the private concerts of a oirde of friends, now departed, was the incomparable piece of " I know that my Redeemer liveth." Tiie forei^ singers of the Opera engage themselves as choristers m their Ambassadors Ghapels, which exempts them from taxes. During the Opera season, any lover of music, by the payment of one shilling, may hear the beautiful Masses of the Ghurch of Rome sung, by those celebrated singers, in either of the chapels of Linooki's Inn Fieldst 'Wftrwiok Street^ cor Spanish Place. c msMs; 159 lr&iiimidnftt^h«reiioiiialewa*«>reradiilitte^ aieffiu Ution wUob, if more generally obterred, would laateriiu^ lefsen the labors of our society for the suppression' of Tioe and immorality; to whom I would recommend leit publicity ill their ensamples, that half England may be deterred from sinning in a new way. In the High Street is a foundation for providing CTery trareller, if he he not a lavfyer, with a supper, bed, breakfast, and four pence to bear him on his way. The man who founds an hospital deserves our highest praise, as he who rears a bliMie of grass where One never grew before, is a benefactor to hi» race. These memorials of departed worth shed a halo round the land ; the brightest in our day is that of Mr Hunt, who, in 1829, left £200,000 1 to Guy's HospitiO* to enlarge and endow it for 100 additional patients. Monsieur's system was incomprehensible, though affirm- ing that he brought it from his own Abbey, anghce AU^, as he domiciled in a noted Parisian one whilst a Oaflfre touter : I hardly ever met with a French teacher who was not either a magnate himself or akin to one, althourii the perruquiers of Paris were marvellously thinned by emi^ation. After observing that as Gavel-kind is a pe- culiarity of this county, originating the decay and break- ing up of its ancient families — Silas Taylor's work thereOn is excellent, Oranbrook Dean's Wield of Kent, should occupy all its libraries, and Rochester Fisher's Kentish Oompanion in every hand, I would apologize for detain- ing my reader so long in Kent, but tnat I have spent so many happy days therein, which, to every one of feeling, is sufficiently ample without needing any other. Nothing can exceed the festive joy surrounding the iup-gatheriiuf of its hop season ; the remembrance of which, through the long vista of years, sheds a bright halo on the duker tints of life. In the still silence of our chamber, and deep overshadowing of retirement, how delightful to look back on the world as it once was ! when redolent with Touth and the day-spring of hope, we trimm'd our little barque for its first and sweetest trip : Alas 1 the retros- pect is indeed sweet, but what a pang, what a void does it too often leave behind I Our new master had his official peculiarities, videlieit» "Just finished the four first rules. Sir." <'Thenbe^ the Compounds." ** I've worked all Single Proportion, Ba" adds another. ** Now commence PraeUoe^* was the ans- wer. The solicitor of next rule after Practice was mven Interest i the aooomplishev of the l%tter assigned Pfoflt 100 lamtBi ¥■ fm Mid )Lo6B ; vihilat «< tioidlttr qiuriit aften FoUoirthip ttu dkebted to SKohaikgie, and soibnto theeadof the:Tiitur» :: ' Tholigii ifk ; mispironuAciadon- could aoiesoape Mm yet^ lMkiti|; the MsurMoe of your vulgar oritio9> lie forboxiei to notice it, but, cud worth £2,116,244. My predecessor Jones was victimised by one Nicholsou 0^ St. George's Fields, a rather noted locality for sinners of every grade, under pretence of introduction to a go- yemment appointment ; an error so popular, that a cer- tflon tinman once addressed Lord Sidmouth, offering him ft bribe for a place; he was answered by a prosecution} IM ITEMfl. i M 1*1 l: ' 111 teminatlng with fine and imprisonment. Jonei liad no remedy, for Nicholson drawing up a memorandum specify- ing that '^n obtaining a govemmont situation of per annum, he should pay nim ; Jones signed, unsui- Sioious of the trap, as an undoubted ratification. Witli lis therefore in possession, he only laughed at behig menaced on detection. " An appointment of £250 per annum is now open for any respectable gentleman under 40. Apply to A. B.,— Throgmortou Street, City." On depositing half a guinea, Jones was handed the address of the presumed appointer, who demanded another half guinea for examming his Eapers: the appointment, all moonshine, went against im. One sucl: advertisement has netted these swindlers £100. Our jibbot was adopted on Constantino abolishing crucifixion ; and the first execution before Newgate, so properly denoting its office, occurred Dec. 9, 1783. Poor Jones ultimately died in Maidstone Jail for debt, a com- mon lot to men of genius, as the poets Cotton, Decker, Savage, Lloyd, with a sabaoth of others, a melancholy sabbath, alas ! to them, whilst a temporary abode in one drove ooor Chatterton mad. Prior to this mournful event he was long school fag in the Deanery of Craven, Yorkshire, its dialect originatmg Carr's two 8vo. vols, and consoled himself in Miss Cur- rer's library, Eshton Hall, a catalogue whereof brought £1 8s., but Mr Dent's £12, our Harleian is the most cele- brated. Earl Spencer's the next. Sir R. WorsIeVs costing £27,000, the most expensive private, and Bonn's, YorK Street, Covent Garden, our most extensive trade one. For Yorkshire schools, vide Nicholas Nicklehy, though much overdone ; I never use the term graphic, because meeting you at every turn of a paragraph with an air of bold assurance, as much as to say, " Don't you see I'm somebody." kterne has said some severe things against the cant of criticism, but if alive now, would say much severer against the cant of catch words. There are many ways for a man to risk his property and reputation, but that of hazarding both by befriending others seems too incredible for belief did not experience prove otherwise. Mr Randall, another assistant here was ruined by these means, which drove him from his inherit- ance " The Grange " to seek subsistence and a home. By prudence and moderation he soon laid the foundation for a moderate indepeiidence : the still quietude of his diamber had far greater hold upon him thau the Ulusiytf ITEMS. itr and fleetinff Menes of life. Coming from Halifax, York* shire, he knew certain branches of Stome's family, of whom it is wrons to say that his mother was a washer- woman, or that he allowed her to be imprisoned for a debt of £10, and released bv the contribution of her neish* hours, when holding preferment of X600 a year. She died on a family property adjoining Sterne's Mill, Halifax, in the Grammar scnool whereof young Sterne was edu- cated, and indulged a oraren appetite for comfits from hif winings in the play-ground. Sterne was a shy boy ; and though addicted to quizzing took care it never fell on those of whom, in bone or sinew, he stood in any awe. He was at open war with eyery pig in his locality, insomuch that having once exchanged clothes with a schoolfellow, the latter strolled from the village, and, ou returning, met a drove of porkers in full march for a neighbouring fair, who, on recognising the well-known dress, fled in all directions, and were not recaptured till some time after : commoinorative of which a friend had a copy of his works done up in jpigskin. Sterne's most humorous passages are plagiarisms from Burton's incomparable Anatomy of Melancholy, neverthe- less we should never have heard of it but for the praises bestowed on him by Dr Johnson. Lamb's works contaia some curious fragments concerning Burton, who was the life of every company, showing what little sympathy some- times exists between authors and their productions. 'Twas a namesake of Sterne who discovered the 3600 errors in our printed Bibles. His strange idea of marble pages arose from John's "Theory of the Intelligible World." Paterson's "Another Traveller." and Langle's "Sentimental Journey through Spain." are imitations. I should be better pleased mvi Sterne's w orks if less in- flamatory and their morality more convincing. Vr Randall admired the " Roxburgh Club." to adulate £2260 given for Valderfar's Decameron of Boccaccio, by the Duke of Marlborough, reselling to Lord Spencer for 875 guineas ; whilst another member gave 30 per leaf for Caxton's Russell's tract, 1469 ; and much more for an old chronicle of only two pages ; with a still larger for De proprietatibm rerum, the first book printed on English Ei^r. Poole translated Bury's bibliography, 1599, and laycock's is a curiosity. Dibden's Decameron at £7 reached £28 ; and his Bibliomania, 1. p. ex. 10, ran to 62 guineas ; there is some whimsicalness at times about these^ ttffiun, for whilst Shenstone's first poem sold in one plac9^ 168 ITEMS. m\ m fbr £8, «nd another for £16, itf puUiiher wu MlUng at Oxford for Is. 0d. Heely's Letten describe hit LeMowety Hagley and Envil ; as did J. P. Kemble's Fugitive Pieeee at Is. M., fetch £8 by auction. Heame's Letter on eerw tain Antiquities between Oxford and Windsor, published at 2b. 6d., now brings £0 and £7. The second vol. of Taylor's Demosthenes sells high from dying before pro- ducing the first ; ^ hich Irish mode of publication Delanaene follows in Histoire do la Gaule, the fourth and sixth vols, appearing before the first and third; and in this way Hume also gave us his great work. Mr Randall possessed a genuine panel-portrait of Shakespeare, whose fictitious ones iu*e endless, but WivoU's treatise settles them. Though an admirer of the bard he was not insensible to his defects and an- aohronisms ; thus in Lear where Edgar talks of Nero, who did not exist until centuries after Lear. Oonstanti- nople in Henry V. is taken by the Turks, which did not happen till 30 years after Henry's death. Marlowe^s "True Traged)ie of Bioharde Duke of Yorke." lately bring- ing £131, fixes a wholesale charge of plagiarism upon Shakespeare, whose historical authority was North's Plutarch's Lives of the noble Greeks and Romans. Hit songs from Robinson's Poems, 1684, and Deuteromelia, 1600. His plays comprise 6043 lines, 1840 only are strictly his, 1661 belong to preceding writers, and the rest plagiarisms. Jackson's puolication of 1840 records 760 gross errors in Shakespeare. Dudley's Letters of Falstaff fuled, whose sherries sack is dry sherry, the French «m (dry) corrupted to sack. We, however, pay oflF the bard by misquotmg him in turn ; his thousand natural akoehi that flesh is heir to, we render " Ula." The man that has no music in himBelff we make "soul." Rude am I in my, we change to of speech, and so on ad infinitum. A certain canon of St. Paul's preaching before a royal per- sonage, observed, " I shall exclaim with the psalmist- Lord now let thou thy servant depart in peace, etc." when it is not the Psalms, but St. Luke, c. 2. v. 29, that has this passage. The same canon once asked a friend, whether it was Luther or Calvin that burnt Servetus : proving the follibility of memory, which should teach us a correspond- ing forbearance. If you wish your son to be grounded in the languages, would you send him to a Spaniard, who» considers every other as mere cess-pools to his own, so much so as to maintain that the conferences of God with Moses were carried on in the Spanish language. LutlMv^s ITIM8. 169 iMt dcNwendant tetelj ftbjored ProteitMitiRn in BolMini% from gre«t dettittttion, bo muoh the oondition of OalTia'i relatiref at Erfurth, m to exist wholly on eleemoiynarj Aid. Luthei^i Oak tree planted May 6, 1621, in tiie Dnchy of Meinlngen, wan destroyed by lightening 1841» and its remains deposited in a Tault of Steinach Onurch. Popular error ascribes our old hundreth Psalm to Lath«r» when 'twas composed by Olaude Gouchonel in 1644. Principal W now sleeps with his fathers, a cold and narrow bed into which we all must enter, and that I eao never pass without meditation and emotion, at which tho 2oung and thoughtless may peradrenture smile— be it so— ut let them atterwards examine one, and from the ■iao of each bed, or its respective pillow, they will learn how infinitely the young outnumber the old. Let this admo- nish them, for though their years may be but few, thif ahall in no wise exempt them from the penalties of our nature. Aside an ancient knoll near our school-house* was an Artesian, or blow well, first discovered in the Dii- triot of Artoii, Northern France : in a neighbouring glen I passed many happy moments, listening to the knell or cmme of L ^n church bells : they always excite feel- ings of a peculiarly tranquil character, blended with a never-dying remembrance of my mother ; for it was in my youth, when contemplating the marble which covered her remains, that my attention was first drawn to tii^ gently-lulling sound. Frederick, his younger son, whose good qualities in boyhood won my attention, but of which the world had entirely deprived him, soon after the decease of his father again opened up the dark side of humanity. Entering into partnership with the widow of his principal, he be- came involved m such difficulties as to orive him to law, which, as a matter of course, so increased them that six attomies in succession abandoned his case as hopeless. In this extremity he applied to me, when out of respect io the memory of his rather, I stept forward in his be- half, and after awhile brought his affairs to so successful an issue that even himself, albeit unused to such admis- 4Bions, acknowledged it^in warm terms : nevertheless 'twaa quickly forgotten, and as darklj requited. As you can never throw dirt against a wall without some part of it adhering there, so no apology can atone for such a return. In numerous like instances I have been similarly rewarded, save in one exception from ft brothw offieiali now in retirement. If» in the age of 170 ITEMS. m liiiiijt ittonastpo Institutions, the world were then what it is now, I marvel less at those Institutions being sought after, than that they were not crowded to suffocation. Dominui W lauded Gato for lamenting, as one of the three follies of his life, the telling a secret to his wife ; but, as he hinted, too late to be of serrice, other- wise he might hare been a lord or some rery great man : what that secret was from which such consequences were to flow, can't say, as I don't know. Bandall's predecessor (Ibbitson) son of a Yorkshire curate, of creditable abilities, but, like boys in their copies, preferring straight to those of crooked letters, irregular m their anpliance : eternally sucking a St Michael orange which, when without seed and thin rind is from an old tree, but of a thick pulpy rind and abundance of seed, then from a tree in full vigor : they pay a duty of £70,000. Apt to be too profound on trifling subjects, and as communicative on important ones— such as Shem, Ham, and Japhet mean, in Hebrew, black, red, and white : we have insects twenty million times smaller than mites : and a thousand millions of animalculee contained in com- mon water, are not larger than a grain of sand! Our annual fall of rain averages 34 inches, which throws 300 tuns of water upon every acre of land, but is quadrupled at Bombay and the Brazils. The name of Taylor has nothing to do with the trade of a tailor, but it is a cor- ruption of the Norman Baron TailUfer. There is a mountain at the head ef the Gulph of Bothnia, Sweden, where, on the 21st of June, the sun does not go down at all. Now this might be acceptable enough to those capable of appreciating it, but these urchins cared as little for as school orts or waste paper, yet seemingly alive to the advantage of shamming it, were proportionably liberal in notes of admiration, their standing axiom, in advising others how to carry a point, being " Gammon the Usher. ■-' Names, the most ancient derived from color and com- plexion, as surnames—first appointed to be used by a Scotch parliament at Forfar, in 1061, and adopted in England 11 years after — he could never utter at once, but *' I was saying Mr Thingumy, pshaw ! Mr Thingum- bob, pooh ! that man with the big nose, went up to Mrs Whoiset, bub I Mrs Whatdyecallher, pishl the woman with the long chin." He edited Fox's Martyrology, to which Bray's Papal Usurpation is a supplement, planned at Basle but written in Grub Street, then occupied by many able writers, ITEMS. 171 where Speed compiled his Ghronides, and De Foe finished his Robinson Orusoe, afterwards adding "Reflections.'* which failed, though his favorite, as Paradise Re^^ned was of Milton, a proof, say our critics, what bad judees authors are of their own works, not conceiving it possible they can ever be wrong themselves: of his << Shortest way with the Dissenters." and " Experiment." one was burnt by the hangman, and t'other elevated him to the pillory: nis "Review of the affairs of France." brought £41 m Ghalmer's sale. "Drelincourt on death." not selling, De Foe, to his eternal disgrace, fabricated the apparition of Mrs Veal, and dishonorably putting it in a new edition, it sold rapidly. Without stopping to inquire why a flea, a fly, one mag- ffot, and a ho^ s brawn empannelled on a flitch of bacon, form a Yorksnireman's coat of arms — Ibbitson some time after became a Reverend, I could never understand how, only that in Yorkshire, Cheshire, and other remote counties, this was then of much easier attainment than it is now — inasmuch as his classics were of the order of the school-boys who being asked to define statu quo answered " Every body knows Co to be Latin for com- pany, but don't know that statu quo belongs to the fine arts — ^you stare — do you know what a statue is ? well, a statue by itself is nothing but a statue, but when more than one, as that of master's grandfather, with his sons round about it, in our church, why that is statue and company, statue and Go, or, in Latin, statu quo." Iboitson ultimately emigrated to Ganada, recently so turbulent, because treated with a liberality they do not understand, and allowing them to rule without their ever yet condescending to obey, to which pushing a man into the kennel then asking now he came there, might be a pertinent but feeble analogy. A Mr Thompson preceded him, from the Marine Society, greatly promoted by Golonel Wood's gift of £1000, who, 1788, died in the Fleet for a debt of £70: hence remarkable for nothing but hoadng the Gompass, a very different affair to boxing boys ears. His hobby was therefore nautical, which he rode at a great rate, as our Log book is from the record of the old British bards, whose first naval ballad is in Trinity Gollege Library, Cambridge. The mast-head pennant was originally our answer to Van Tromp's broom, which now, on vessels at anchor or in the dock, denote they are for sale. Pliny ascribes the anchor to the Tuscans, but Pausainus to 172 ITEMS. Inf. ! .1 I Midas : the flnt ship in Greece came from Egypt 1485 ▼ears B.C. Ckuchj a mariner, is the prototype of Mr Nobody upon land, and a nayal Idler, one exempt from the "waUih. ' Tarring and Featherina began under Kiohard Coeur de Lion for dishones^: the Mariner's compass, known in China 1040 years B.C., was first used by the Venetians in 1260. The tides at Otaheite yary from eyerv other, being at noon and midnight the year round. Keplar in 1596, broached their first theory : the magnetic needle which had for many years taken a Westerly decli- nation from the meredian, returned towards the North in 1817. Half the tonnage of the kingdom is registered at Lloyds: the letter A., denotes a good ship; A.I., good stores and apparel; (E. is a questionable character, and the affix 2. causes the initiated to drop further inquiry. By the de^, nine, properly dip, i.e. 9 fathoms by the dip. Jew slop-sellers haye Touters for sailor customers, who receiye a fifth on all they lay out. He was dubbed Collatton, because rendering this word, in books and manuscript denoting comparison, erroneously a repast, and for conyerting the word itself into the state or act of straining, by onco writing it with one 1. If any thing annoyed him, he would say " Shuckeroo." then add, "The Goodwin Sands." ten miles in length, three in breadth, and within six of Ramsgate and Deal. He yery soon left for a nautical appointment, which he quickly lost by bestowing his affections in the wrong place, like the Indian, who, on being told by a missionary that he should loye his enemies replied — '' I do, for I loye rum and brandy.*' Our fag was efficient but grossly improyident, and adored Simon Steyinus our first Decimalist, circa 1680 : his propensities grew stronger as the means for indulging them became less. As soldier's thigh, or no money on ending a march, and Martinet, a disciplinarian, ex Gen. Martinet, its restorer in French armies, were ever in his mouth, so, on leaving us, he joined the Suffolk militia as private, citing Marmontel, sergeant in the Prince of Conde's regiment, backed by Harte's Gustavus Adolphus, and Stewart's Highland regiments, our best military memoirs, with strong encomiums on Fabricius' anecdotes of Charles XII. of Sweden ; and quoting certain paisages from Denon's Egypt, too much tinged with French vanity and French philosophy, so obscuring the productions of their eminent men, as to produce such melancholy results in their own country and nought but evil to others. ITEMS. 173 On becoming a soldier, from solidum, the pay of onoy he never passed the arms of England without some token of respect: (application for permission to use the royal arms must be made to her Majesty's private secretaay, and costs £10 :) the Lion we well know, but cannot say so much for the Unicom, though Bishop Brugu6ros averB seeing them alive in Siam : that described by Job, is con- jectured to have been the Bhinoceros, and is so rendered by Tertullian and Jerome who, says Bishop Warburton, is the only one of the Fathers who governs nimself by a just and reasonable criticism on the scriptures; of his Divi Hkronymi but nine copies exist; Lord Spencer^s cost £150. From 1837 to 1847, upwards of 376 non-conmiissioned officers received commissions. Every regiment now has a schoolmistress. The largest cannon known was cast in Hindostan, 1685, and carries a ball of 2600 lbs. ; a 32 pounder carries a ball above two miles, and, to be pro- perly worked, requires 14 men. One of leather was proved at Edinburgh, Oct. 23, 1788, and, after much firing, found to answer. The military phrase "a stand of arms." means soldiers muskets with their bayonets affixed. From the average of Marlborough's wars one musket ball only out of 85 takes effect in battle, and but one in 400 proves fatal : the wars of Napoleon give a different result, but they were so murderous as to immolate, of Frenchmen alone, 6,000J000 in eleven years ! ! I The Code Napoleon is the production of three eminent Frt^ncb literary caaracters, translated by MrBarratt during llll, and a Temple barrister in 1824. Army hospitals and surgeons were introduced by L t<- bella Queen of Castile in 1470 : our army ones are oV>liged to make up their medicine chests at Apothecaiies I^tU, Avhence every Apothecary must obtain a dipi-^uia ere he can practice ; before this, I conjecture, many poured drugs that they knew very little about, into a body of which they knew still less : members ( f this company alone can charge for visits and medicines ; those of Surgeon's Hall for visits only. Dublin physicians fee is 6s. within the city, and 10s. 6d. out of it. London income of the medi- cal profession is £3,500,000 ! a profession by contact with disease, exposure to the seasons, and broken rest by no means a long-lifed one ; they may be the directing-posts to old age, but do not usually get there themselves. He, like Bewick a. page 28, officiated awhile as jockey at Newmarket, and became a dabbler in horse-flesh which. 174 ITEMB. I pi i of ftll other dabbles, is about the most dangerouSi Biaoa if not an immediate introduction to rery bad company, is at least the high-road to it, every dealer therein being credited as an adept in knavery and deception. Having won several races, 'twas found that he did so by attaching garlic to the bit of his own horse which, when his antago- nist scented, he fell back and lost. Never buy a horse of strangers or at fairs, where a broken-winded one is con- cealed by loading with shot, or administering lard, which prevents the li^ts from blowing : a " Spiced " horse mean's one made up for sale : as they conceal a glandered one by plugging him with a sponge dipt in Rose-water : their throe chief stages of unsoundness are "A Piper, Whistler, and Bullman" A late correspondence between the Surgeons of St. Bartholomew's Hospital and the city authorities, proved that the exposure of glandered horses in Smithfield cattle market, communicated that disease to the human species, there being then many in-door pa- tients with that complaint. Our best treatise on this sub- ject is, « History of the British Turf," by J. White. This aid is now in destitution. Alas ! for misapplied talent and unlawful propensities ! The road to ruin be- ing rather a broad one, and pretty rapid in descent, not exclusively confined to European latitudes and longitudes terms arising from the ancients believing the earth was one-third longer than 'twas broad. Why are our best men so often a prey to the worst ? Because being incapable of wronging others, they as naturally believe others to be incapable of wronging them. A little worldly wisdom would correct this error. Hence the fallacy of the doc- trine, that because a man is just he is therefore to be visited by calamity as a provocative to further good. What should we think of that parent, who, as a stimulus to obedience, punished those cnildren that obeyed him, and rewarded others who did not ? Or of the master towards his servants, as an encouragement to fidelity, promoting a delinquent, whilst he casliiered the faithful. It may be difficult, nay impossible to unravel the mystery that sometimes surround tnese issues, let us therefore ac- knowledge this and be silent, without endeavouring to do so by resorting to injustice. Mr W ^'s garden produced that species of apple in- troduced from Syria into Italy, 9 years B.C. his cherry trees, planted in England 100 years anterior, were alike excellent, and his strawberry bed also, of which we have several hundred sorts, the finest, hautboys (Ao-boys) came IIXMS. 175 from the haut bois, or high woods of Bohemia. He also prided himself on his Tulips, numbering 665 varieties ; Uie passion of the Dutch for them, in 1636, rose so high, that one of a particular kind would fetch £1600 I now reviving as Mr Uosendale, recently at Ghent (gong) gave £500 for a single Camelica. I next joined Mr B ^n, L , Sussex ; with a com- plexion resembling an African's, whose country, down to 1830, has been explored by 25 Englishmen, 14 French- men, 2 Americans, and 1 German. He changed his dress several times daily, after the fashion of Lord Milton's son, who wore three new suits diurnally 1 upon dying, in 1776, his wardrobe sold, by auction, for £15,000 : this penchant of his lordship differed materially from that of the Javenese, whose dress is much the same amongst all ranks, and has not at all varied for twenty-five centuries. His original whereabouts was Gravesond, in the clock and watch line, of which he gave evidence by tiresome eulogiums on one and incessant applications to the other : a cheap one will spoil your watch and, when gold, sweat the case of at least 8 dwts. He read novels and romances like Lord Chancellor Thurlow, Sir Isaac Newton, and Milton, for one of whose teeth Lord Shaftesbury gave £700, and wears mounted in a ring. An Englishman, on removing Abelard and Heloise to Pere la Chaise, offered £4000 for one of Heloise's teeth. Like Joseph II. of Germany, he was fond of jingling the money in his pocket, that is on having it to jingle, for calls of that sort were far between and of short duration. He was an incorrigible punster ; his original — Why arc trees the politest of all pla" ts ? D'ye give it up ? Cause thev are full o' boughs (bows). If this be wit 'tis very lik^ Says Phil to Hal canst clear a post, ' ' . ' ' ' By singlo leapsa jump or fly ? • ; ■ Of that, quoths Hal, I make no boast, But stand you still and then I'll try. His vade-mecum was Joe Miller, who never uttered a witticism in his life, but, from his quaint taciturnity, the cause of it in others : he spent his evenings at the Black Jack, Portugal Street, Clare Market, the resort of our Sock and Buskin wits. At his death, leaving a widow and family destitute, Mr Motley, a dramatic friend, took advantage of this badinage, and collecting all the stray jests about town, made a book of them, and clapping Joe Miller's luane in the title page, the speck sucoeeded. A 176 ITEMS. I«ll^ i If m i :'! . ; : i' « . ilii 1.1 ' reprint in 1739 sold for £11 : the last edition is Barker^i, Gorent Garden, 1790. He died in Shire Lane, and lies in Portugal Street burial ground. From that day to thii, the man who never uttered a joke, has been the reputed author of the present, the past, and every succeeding one. Nevertheless B n habitually assumed the phlegmatic deportment of inner Germany, wtiorein a woman not noole by birth, cannot become so by marrying a noble- man : an ancestral marriage of this sort with a Madame D'Olbreuso, ej ictsour reigning family from the Chapitrale, or eligible as member for t;*9 Chapters, which admit only pure nobility, an unbroken chain of four generations, or sixteen quarterings. A history of the illustrious family of Guelph (wolf) is in the British Museum. His pecuniary affairs remind me of farmer Elphick, Benenaon, Kent, who, when dying, said with diflficulty to his sons — " I owe John Ross £28. " How father raves." they both exclaimed. " Thomas Sims owes me £20." he added faintly. " Bloss me I ho >v sensible father is to the last." they quickly rejoined. '* i owe Thomas Ball £30." feebly breathed the expiring man. "There," repeated his sons, " Father k ravmg again." Farmer Elphick once ordering a cutlet at an Inn near Granbrook, the landlord entered with a small tub filled with a calf iust killed, and putting it on the table told the farmer to begin his cutlet, then retired chuckling: a servant quickly appeared with the order and apologies for his master's humor. Presently a chariot and four drew up, desiring a relay of four horses to Ashford, " Aye," replied mine host, " but two will do, and I'll supply no more." The traveller sharply observed, " I'm the Earl of Romney." "And I," rejoins Boniface, with arms akimbo and hat advanced, « am Tom Brown." Who of Kent has not heard of this eccentric innkeeper. Our undermaster Hall, formerly a grocer (grosser), because a dealer t ' the ^;oss or bulk : thus groceries (grosseries ?) as used by Americans, ^^ould be correct did they not include artKnit spirits. Ihu senior had been a hebber-man, or fishing poacher, below London Bridge, at ebbing tide, latterly a dealer by retail, which a French edict declares (but not wholesale) derogatory to no- bility, that ^Hall 'claimed by relationship to Mr Bowes, husband to the Countess of Strathmore, who made much noise some years back. Addressing the widow of a noble- man, on her marrying a commoner, by the title of her former husband, is only by courtesy : in a late suit be- ITEMS. m tween Balph Howard and Lady Ann Powej, his wife» tho Court decided that it ought to have been by Ralph Howard and Ann, his wife, Late the wife of Lord Powei« deceased. The younger Hall and his friend, ere turning academicii, passed under my review, by perchance occupying the next box to mine at a Ooflrao-house in St. Martins le Grand, between whom the following conversation, in a key easily comprohendod, cnsuod, which I give for its moral and subsequent illustration : ** Well, Bob, had a good round last night : sent winks to a nice girl in tho joweUor's : ate a puff at Vanhagon's in the Yard, to quiz the shop-woman, the Brest fleet full sail. Ghappering at tho maids, in the Bow tall house, they said I was quite Dab-on-my hair : popt my head into the muff shop in tho Grand, whero a chubby-faced daughter sits, and cried out — why your eyes, my angel, dim the lights : lounged in the snuff shop by Butcher Hall, and dropping summit into a bason of water, said to the shop-woman, Td drop mysolf into a bigger if she didn't let me whisper softly to her. There's a round Bob. But where wust last night ?" "Pretty good, Jack; l>ut where was I, why waiting at Gatwood s, in the Cheap., for his straw-bonnet giru coming out at eight ; coo'd with one, who teas with me on Sunday at Whito Conduit. Walked another to the Mansion House, then buss'd adieu. In my rounds down Cornhill, Choapside, the Yard, Fleet Street, and Strand, spoke and squir'd five ; was slapt on tho face by two ; wasn't answered by one ; got a pinch on the aritx from four ; and was blow'd up by three very nice girls. But I'm wounded, Jack, by two black eyes at Sharp's on the HiU, I must " many entering they paused and I heard no more. Hall obtained a jumble of sundries in a day school, which it would have mado otherwise had it known how, always tumbling letters about as your Saint Monday folks do skittles, without the ability to regulate, and if any one attempt this for thom, he only gets snubbed for his pains. In one of his nightly adventures aforesaid, he was smitten with the coy air of a damsel in St. Paul's Churchyard ; he followed, but was repulsed in such a way as to excite pursuit, ultimately terminating in squiring home, and three weeks after, marrying — a courtezan 1 A proper lesson for street-hunting acquaintances, and sudden marriages. Akin to the uxorious Persians who, upon 178 ITEMS. i the arriral of a bachelor wmongst them, assign him a wife from a company of maidens kept for that purpose, which, on departure, he mav either take with him, or leave be- hind, as most agreeable to himself : on which the Hima- layians somewhat differ, for a late traveller asking one of their ladies if she were married? answered, "Yes, but Tve only /bur htubands." On the marriage of a son, the parents are said to lose a friend, but in that of a daughter, to gain one. On paying the penalty of her immoralities, thereby releasing Hall, he reformed, became studious, and turned scholastic. He officiated in two establishments formerly occupied by the unfortunate Eugene Aram, who left each with nigh testimonials, which begat a corresponding sym- pathy K>r his fate, forming one more victim to the long and melancholy catalogue of unhappy marriages — "of which no man can properly be a judge until, like myself, he has first tasted of its bitter fruits." Dr Johnson was of opinion that Eugene failed in his defence from proving too much : whatever diversity of opinion may exist on this point, there can bo none as to its being one of thb ablest on record. An incompetent person may sometimes obtain a tutor- ship, the difficulty is in keeping it, for the Argus eyes soon discover his deficiencies, as was the case with Hall's friend, who quickly became an ex. : this drove him amongst sectarians in the missionary line, who sent him forth to a remote region for settling a uniformity of opinion amongst savages and barbarians upon subjects on which missionaries themselves are at open war. Their printed acts on this matter are far too long : the first, shortest, and best missionary reports are those of the Apostles. Grant's Bampton Lectures inform us that many of these missionaries make a point of cajoling the natives out of 6000, 10,000, and one upwards of 40,000 acres of land, then abandon their office, and turn Tas- manian or Zealandian squires. This cidevant assistant was a letter-seal collector, pos- sessing the oldest red-wafer one on a Dr Kraph's letter, Spires, 1624. Not succeeding in the missionary line, he opened a day school in R , B^rk, or Barkshire, its ancient orthography, as Worcester was then written WosteTf its modern orthoepy. This Southcotonian, whose brethren at Ashton spent 125 guineas in importing an Ass from the East, enacted the greatest piece of effrontery I •?«r heard of, by undertaking to teach Euclid to an as- ITEMS. 179 Bistant at Stepney, without himself Imowing ft single problem or proposition. He was preceded by Ber^amin Martin, (son of my right hand,) graduating, like Ben Jonson, on the ancient wall of Lincoln's Inn, under the hod, by thumbing a Tocabulttry on resting therefrom. He easily became usher in a Spitalfielas day school, from agreeing with its locality^ though deemed a stolid mass oy his mortar masters, differing from an employer, as this has only partiid but t'other his whole services : rusticating at Hemel Hemp- stead, where, in ; 808, the stone coffin and ashes of Onay kin^ of the Mercians, were found and recognised, though buried 1000 years. He was no relation of the celebrated artist, but Martin who fired York Minster, was his brotiber. Making no way as scholastic, and being, as far as he said, bom under a threepenny planet never to be worth four- pence, retired on a tide-waitership. He last hodded it at the suttling house cornering the entrance to St. James' Palace, demolished in 1840, whence George III. had his pot of porter to relish his favorite dinner of mutton and turnips. The circumstance inducing Mr Mellish to fraternize with us deserves recording. On paying a large sum he immediately fyled the receipt : being redemanded some- time after, he resorted to the receipt, but imagine his astonishment on perceiving 'twas a blank ! All writing paper is covered with a fine size or glue, on which inscribe some sentence, with a pen charged with water, then throw fine black sand thereon, it will adhere for a while before disappearing. If you deposit bank notes in a copper box, the action of the metal will remove the signature, written with common ink, but have no effect on the printed part. A Parisian chemist has discovered a process for removing all writing from every sort of paper, without leaving any trace of it. He performed beautifully on the flute, but left-handedly ; Dextree and Sinistrse, or right and left- handed flutes, were common in Rome. He had moved somewhat variously in the checkered scenes of life, being, at one period, presumptive heir to a coronet, and holding a captamcy in the Coldstream Guards, so called, because raised at Coldstream, on the Tweed, in 1650, by General Monk, and being the first employed in ships of war origi- nated our Marines. The Rev J. P , B.A., my predecessor, learned as Mezzofanti of Bologna, reading 20 and conversing in 13 languages, shone in an lopean, acquired from the Bishop 180 ITEMS. of Oxford who, with Dean Jackson, were called ** The »er» monic brothers" never publishine ought else. T for Tha- natoB, the Greek condemning letter, is markoIS. in illed « The ier* >. T forTha- larlLo*! f^n our ow ot Oxford, luos £110,560; , with his mas- to our Princi- hay( mended, low rui oly is it IfuUy bent on conduct geue* be much trutii tis humor, not, 3 often travels G^oldsmith, the leans, captured lose occasions, splendid folio zol, a Nurem- pilgrimage to tops separated so. lined the chap- a year for pup- icn more of his ginated 'Lord in 1620, with gog put up in 3r and gilder, lie dinners, of , as he said, a ood may come edient. sh estates, the J. P used lere 'twas first F Foot got up seeming public brtune. Foot 9 habit«^^|«keB t, theWiatof on have ended •re him, where- B former store. Mr P-— ~ piqued himself on^his ^ia1i> or royal money, because stamped with the king's efBgy, but purchasing sereral of those vahttible artic^s called Spanish Bonds, on which he could nerer get either principal or interest, gare both away in a hufif, declining further notice of either. This gentleman came from Mr A ^'s establish- ment, near Ottory, St. Mary's, Devon., the residence uf a Mr Bedell, who has written tbo Lord's Prayor, Belief, and two verses of a Psalm, in the compaps of a pea ; which, I understand, has been since outiio by a Mr Cruse of the same place. The Iliad wan > written so small upon vellum, as to be enclosed in a uu 1. These feats, however, were exceeded during the nth cen- tury, in the Acts of the Apostles, and the gospel of St. John, being written in tho circumference of a farthing, by Peter Almunnus, an Italian monk, a word coming from the Greek of Monos, solus quia soli, because the first monks lived alone in solitary places. Our mathematicians entered their operations from a waste into a ciphering book : their Dominus read well and had a good memory, often reciting 1000 lines from Milton's Paradise Lost, bringing him only j£16, but its editor £630, and publisher a fortune. The celebrated Waller thus criticises it — " The old blind schoolmaster, John Milton, hath published a tedious poem on the fidl of man ; if, for him, its length be not a merit, it has no other." Fletcher's Locustoe originated it, whilst Sedkald's Paradise and Angels, with Du Bartas' Divine Weeks aided subordinately. Milton is our first English classic writer illustrated by large and continuous notes : the Bishop of Winchester published divers of his Latin M.SS. discovered in the State-paper office in 1823. His house, 18, York Street, Westminster, is now a chandler's shop, and humbly ten- anted ; and his Telescope in Trinity College, Cambridge. Lord Townsend's copy of Boydell's Milton brought £42 in his sale ; and " The Sixe-folde Politician." by his father, considered lost, was found in that of Baron BoUand. Mr Milton, engraver, dying 1827, was his last descendant, thouirh Mrs Earle, subsequently in Bonnet Street, Black- ~ Mrs Foster, Homerton, claim that honor. No b man of genius laid in his grave, very probably ler by want and neglect, than many who carefully him whilst living as seduously claim relationship dead, and our discerning public are as characteris- W ciiiliiin to TOte him a monument. s^ IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 I.I ^ Kii 12.2 H2.5 i' [If 114 "■ £ 1^ 12.0 ii. I IU& |l.25 ,u ^ ^ 6" - ► Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STRUT WEBSTER, N.Y. 14S80 (716) 872-4903 h J 1S2 llteMB. Bondnus slways ^irrbte Piibciidfllyf tnmiformed Wdnder into •woonder, and uiMle axis, a reVolTin|^ lipe, nonfeense, by plnralising as axe, a tool: calling the objecitite o|>- Sosite (OoOkney like) oppo-zke, andnrade a preposition m Opposite (to) the Horse Guards/' where the militiny year terminates March 81 ; its taisadoption bronght Fatilkner the printer Dean Swift's patronage ; also pre- flerred Potatos, but on asking what will you do wi^ Piccadilloes and Toes, shifted to Potato, singular, and PotatoM, plural : then grarely proposed ejecting e from yho€, receiTing it in no, and delaying it to tloe: hence his adrocacy of Elphinstone's strange and norel ortho* graphy of 1790. ' Scholium, an explanatory note, he scribbled SeoKwm, a festive song. On nearing that Ddphos was a Tulgarism bn Delphi, he asked, what's to become of Argos, and a hundred others in ob t Also much abused the word Influ^* ential, which Mr Canning deemed an American word, but $ts minister, Mr Pinckney, being present, prored 'twas imported f roin England : and haranguing on the fickleness of our orthography, quoted Scissors as capable of 480 different ones 1 The Bible was accompanied by Oruden's Concordance, first compiled by' Cardinal Hugo and 600 monks, circa 1260 : Catalani always carried a pocket one on the stage to inspire confidence ; knowing scarcely a note of music, thu orchestra played accordingly : she originated first names, retaining her maiden one when a married woman. We used Elton^s Classic Poets, from 33 Greek mid 27 Latin authors, and also Stepney Entick's Latin Thesaurus who, himself a schoolmaster, likewise compiled many other excellent works, that are much and deserredly patronised. What Quintilian says of teachers generally IS doubly augmented when united with letters and litera- ture. ' His eldest son, apt at Merchants Accompts, as inyented by L. de Burgo, distributing amongst friends a very small Impression of his little poem on certain leiges of this borough, bteame an author by profession, an^^^rpugh the management of an uncle in the Bow, the sapient age of eighteen, in the critic'! executed, as tery many of his craft, by a tigation of some fire minutes, or an equally bf the title page. Bemin<]Ung me of writer Sidney Smith's confession, '*I ne before reyiewing it — ^it prejudices a toi eyen aboi ITSM£k 183 enMncot one of the last ooAtunr reviewing <*Enelis]| Bhetorio." by B. Sherry, schoowMter of Magcwen* College, Oxford, 1555, ending with " It seenui intended onljT as a manual for schoolbovs/' and oth(>r oritics, who renewing ** Notes of a Traveller in the United States, snewed at 'the idea of cut mone^f w. therein detailed* ffravely affirming that such a thing was never seen or heard of: indeed, hear — ^Edward J.'s penny piece had an indented cross, so that it mieht be cut or broken into two otfawr-ihing$t origin ot farthing: the son of Edward III. Srohibited this broken and cut money, which, in ancient^ Greece, was so coined as to divide into eight partt : Manual 56, So much for criticism, which, perpetrating unhewnl of barbarities in our time, killed Hawksworth, drove Tasso mad, anc embittered the days of Newton : in short young B was a perfect Aristarchus in the estimation, of tlut lamily whereof he made the twelfth twig, but an. authority somewhat damaged from want of mecuum and. moderation. , Though nonconfonmsts,many of the students were no^' whom I accompanied to diurch. Dominus called Etverwd hard names and unscriptural, but Psalm cxi. rebuikjes him ; followed by Madam on doctrines, too many of which make angels weep but demons laugh, she could not explain, yet, like all schismatics, woU'dn't allow others to do so for her. Though far from those who think thev do men service when they speak ill of others from wnom they differ in opinion, still I cannot forbear lamenting the reciprocal bitterness of the thousand opposite sects that now distract the professine world. I have always remarked that where a desire for this sort of discussion appeared^ very little religion existed, over and above a 8uspicio^ that its profession is merely a pretext for tying and untying knots. Where is the wisdom of quarreling on the souroei of a river which quenches the thirst, cleanses the habita*. tions, and increases the prosperity of man ? Is not the admowledgment that its water is good, an ample Qne„ even to satisfy the most scrupulous, without disputing; aboji^li^rigin? The desure to force others to tnixu^ on matters of opinion — Oh I vain and foolish proved a bane to the happiness of man. I, if we wish all men to stand on the same t ground should have a iOrm and suffi<4enti .cousin )[>eing snared by a saint of the V nq relative pf Jk Ci^itwell* CathoUo 184 ITEMd; Bisl^pp of Ardagh; ob^etting' her fortune deciunped to 4iaherd near St; Ge nianried and a family, when viisitihg one ^covered ih the lady's chamber. His p in^ this charge says—" 'Twas all a ikiistake pointment with the maid, but in the darknr mistook th^^ rooms." Observing to the doeft this lei na^onb all all equiu that of ITEMS. 185 his son fioloiiMii?" i^Hoh, I sttppose* satisfied thesitas his hearers remained undiminished 1 An undermaster always attended our students in the play-ground, like a janitor orer so many culprits. If of that mutinous character as this surveilliuioe mdicates, let the mutineer be punished, and if that won't do, expel him, as firmness, and not tampering, will avail on such oocasions. In the Blue Ooat School, comprising 700 boys of idl ages, you nerer see a master in their play- ground, and who ever heard of disorder or insubordina- tion amongst them ? After sereral hours fagging in the school-room, to which wielding a sledge-hammer is as handling a straw, for a tutor, howerw humble, to be thus employ^ is not only wrong but calls loudly for reforma- tion. Mr B * s brothw, in Oomwall, was a great lorer of steel and silrer, yidelicet — ^*' Every boarder must be sup- plied with a Bible and Prayer Book, a knife and fonc, three towels, and a silver dessert spoon, all which, except the books, become the proprietor^ perquisites, on the pupil leaving school.'' His wife was equally fond of feathers because Maria Antoinette, the imfortunate Queen of France, originated them as a head-dress, at whose marriage with the Dauphin in 1770, an accident happened at an exhibition ffiven to celebrate it, by which 712 livcii were lost and above 2000 wounded : and alike smitten with Brussel's lace, the greater purt of which, as came out on a late trial, proves to be manufactured in our town of Nottingham. Another, in a remote village, exchanging his loom and shuttle for a desk and forms, opened a day school, which soon became a large boarding one ; a result, seeing the man's incompetence, neither rare nor surprising ; for let him lack only talen^ with a tolerable share of assurance, on such occasions, and 'tis next to certun that he shall not lack patronage from our discerning public, which soon enabled him to set up his carriage, adominff its mds wit h heraldic devices of the most staring oraer; book, crested by a foolscap, upon a ferula "r, supported on the dexter side by a fuU sinister one a peeky cane risine from a the motto Tudimet, would have me merit »r, without descending to inference, axisted here between the Principal and which ought not nor ever does m weU- jylishments. If we take a Uberal view of 186 ITEBfS. their r«8i>eetir« stationf* -we shall flad that neither it really independent of tlia other: though much the laoaa i^pliea — many would hare said obtains, hut I don't, from equal objeeticm to this word as that of graphie, in mos$ otner professions, yet not so demonstrable as in this one, saying nothing of effects : in the former he who may be indolently inclined shall apparentlj^ perfonn his task with all inia^able diligence, out the mspector easily detects him ; w\nch. he of the quill, with but ordinary tact, aa easily evades ; and if, in some trifling circumstance he may fkulter, how insigniftcant is it in comparison with more important (Hies 1 and when the heart has been once inraded oy a deteriorating principle, who will guarantee that others shall not follow. Our Dominus, from his Joe Millerism and hatred of episcopacy, was fond of easting jibes thereon, his chief being a one-eyed miller presentin|; himself, for ordination by signs, the Bishop elevating a pippin, as an emblem of the fall, our Miller t^ng as a query. Do you deal in i^ples, answened by a crust from his pocket, that he didn't, but in wheat and flour, which his lordship con- ceived good for our recovery by the sacrifice, and there- upon raised one finger to designate the ublouous ; which tiie Miller interpreting as an allusion to nls one eye, quickly exalted his thumbs, to denote the Bishop had two, etc. A Latin Testament being handed to the candidate, he was desired to translate Apostoli loqiiebantur oraoula Dei : whereupon he began *< Apostoli loquebantur*' — ** O ye Apostles look about I ora — " ** Stop," interrupted Ms lord- smp, as rendering — <* oracula Dei, O thou miracle of Qod." As the students got an inkling of these follies, the result is obvious, especially on the approach of a >/inter evening, when no actual business but preparing for to- morrow's, a confusion ensued little short oi Babel, diver- idfied by pi^er buUetings, with here and there a cry as of soioe porker in distress, all which arose, as matter of course, from nobody. - Representations to magister -were useless, as 'twas in his line, or 'twill wear off, and the lads know no better ; but I'm of opinion 12 or 14 is fully capable of choosing betwf evil, lat^y proved at Westbury, where a^ " his master (whom it ruined) ftred the sc*^ ttfter confessing the deed, then, to avoid ban ^ hims^. When the same notion prevailed in our i they were crowded with these innocekits,^ ITEHS. 18T one to the New Drop Mid another to Botany Bay, which dissipated the illusion and brolce up many gangs of urchins ; unongst others one of flftv at Bethnu Qreen, who nerer operated in their noighbourhood, that when any member got into trouble, he might cite a neighbour as to character I and another on board a Margate stei^ni- boat disguised as schoolboys, with satchel, slate, and boolc* bags, returning to or from boarding school ! l^jery prison chaplain declares none tried his patience more or re* waitied his exertions less than juTonile offenders. On my taking duty the insubordinates were rather shy, which, gradually disappearing, they began the fray, when, by a coup-de-main, catching their leader, I awarded him an imposition of 50 lines in Horace ; dealing in the same way with two others, they were subdued and order res* tored : nevertheless Dominus took umbrage from those silly notions inflating weak minds ; pretty much Uie re- ward of most reformers. The scenery around this town resembled Nola Campa- nia, so lauded by Virgil in his Qeorgics, till taking offence^ when he substituted Ora. Boys, a Down's she^erd, be- coming wealthy, hearing, on starting his carriage, 'twaa incomplete without emblazonment, repaired to the town- coaohmaker, where there chanced to be a landau of Lord Ghichester's, and communicating his business, was aHiked after bis arms. " In that matter," he replied, *' I am not particular," and pointing to the coronet and supporters on his lordship's carriage, added, « Aa they seem pretty things put the same on mine." When chairman in petty Session, a culprit was ar- raigned for purloining a pair of leather shorts : delijlM- ratmg about a verdict, " Pooh," said Mx. B , *' makQ it manslaughter." A seijeant at the barracks, tuded by the flatting, mill, and a circular instnufnent, punched na^fjf sixpences out of a crown piece 1 this freedoni with our silver currency induced its recal and a new issue* B — ~- , Jun., like Dr — — , pealing turnips, and Lord A — — sawing firewood, had his amusements, tpudbing ^wo of Javenese flying kitesand inciting crickets indiscriminate use of Prime, except in prime .given to 3ir Robert Walpole, as a mock ' pork, beef, or oysters, is considered vul- .novels imd romances be better read in your the schoolroom? or either for making in a mill-pond, whilst the boys are at »p-frog ? Argument is at no time accept- 188 ITEMS. Ikble unlMS the Tehiole of information, and at all period! offeniire when the channel of arrogance. Verily if a man can't swim, and he chance to tumble into deep water, he must sink and drown : thui the sUlj. pated Jackanapes, or Jaoh an ape i$, who fancies lUmielf somebody, by the rery means he takes to tell this to ererybody, fully proyes to ererybody that indeed he it nobody. I am by no means sanguine, Mr. Junior, as to the success of these hints, since you are eTidentW more capable of drawing a cart than an inference. Tne best of UB are glad to get away from an adrersary, who is only inrulnerable because he has not sense enough to know when he is defeated. Why critics, like kings and newspaper editors, should deliver themselves in the dual numoer, is to me a mystery; unless from excess of modesty in one, and apprehension in the other ; the latter feeling that they can do nothing without their council; the former, if they were to appear in their own proper persons, that they should either get laughed at, or sent about their business, much the same thing to a man who has nothing else to do but stump pens andmot paper. He was surprised on hearing that Bashaw is properly Pacha, which the French mispronounce FjMhar, our- selves very properly Pcuihaw, but others Packer, Him of Egypt has connected the Nile with Alexandria, hj a canal sixty miles long, ninety feet wide, and eighteen feet deep, and aooomplisned in six months by puttmg on it 150,000 men at 2H wages each per day, 30,000 of whom died from the severity of the labor and intensity of heat. The interference of the Principal with my evening ar« rangements sensibly affecting them when I was present, and altogether destroying them when I was not caused iny resignation ; which he sought to prevent by saying he couldn't settle my accompt, that, I replied, he could remit through his brother in the Bow. His pecuniary affairs, from living too fast, were much involved. The embarrassments of most people arise f rom an expenditure to please that portion callc ' ' which, on the approach of misfortune, is tl get them : when a man is overtaken by adi inquires after the cause, the fact is sumciel tion and neglect. Kthat adversity, howeve^ of his own seeking, as too often ha^peni know this, or be expected to amend it, uf of it, an honesty nowso rare as hardly eveff ITEMS 189 you oan succeed in a project for Inducing people to lire within their incomoi or some stringent law compellins them to be honest, 'tis vain to expect.* result so essentia for their own happiness and the good of the community. Being Easter, I rambled towaras London on foot, ac- companied ten miles by a student, an Independent, to the Tillage of L , where he lired, prolific in schemes for overreaching his schoolfellows, permitting his attend- ance to promote further disclosures. His lather was « substantial shopkeeper therein. On arriving, we break- fasted in a snuggery comn^anding the shop by an ingenious aperture. He was a widower, with one son and daughter. After breakfast he read the newspi^er, especially that part where Ironsides, oppositionist, assaulted the ministry. ** That's a true man,^' said Mr Splitfig, raising his spec- tacles, « Vile doings ! Public robbery ! Public " Two customers dropt in for the two halves of a quartern loaf: performing the operation privily, and whipping off a round from each for family use, returned to his snug- SBry. The daughter, meanwhile, was scattering grilled oe leaves and chopped stable brooms amongst the tea; fine sand with the moist suj^r, and doctoring the liquids: mingling parched and split horsebeans with unground, and muscovado in the ground coffee ; humming the while a conventicle ditty. I^iere was no open shop, but a back door, on the Xonf « day, for which frequenters paid a tribute, over and above the secret one. Mr Splitfig resuming his paper, began cashiering the eRemies of £*onsides, but coming to a passage on corrup- tion, paused with a groauj then shouted aloud, ** A purge is wanted! for the blessed days of Gromwelll What Kites on the public! O the Philistines !" ; I . Here the exciseman unexpectedly entering, great exdte- ment arose amongst the trio, of what nature we may judge from the foregoing, which the following illustrates: on Europeans in China soliciting the free exercise of their faith, the Emperor replied by Edict, "This has never been d^ed, but those of such professors were punished, who.) iHMier the garb of religion, dtfrauded my people." > ij ^engagement was with the Rev. B. D ,. |whose abilities were good, temper excellent, orthodox : his hobby was Loneinus, whose ar tre&tise on the *' Sublime.' contuninff: Genesis (recording the Generation of aU ^m the first ancient writer quoting from — ) guiltless of book-knowlMge, had two 190! ITEMS. ■orti of pronunoifttion, one in ber famiW oirole» the other for company ; but ber domeitic qualincations were undoubted, and on litting down to dinner, even a pbiloto- pher, I opine, would look a little blank on findina; nodiing to nibble but learned scraps. She was skilled in Mrs Glasse (or rather Sirs J. HiU and T. Mayeme, the real authors) and Mrs Rundell's cookeries, sister to the Ludgate HillJeweller. Always complaining without, being rmdly ill, recalling the custom in Queen ^n's reign, when 'twas unfashionable for any woman of rank to own herself in health. Bir King, another assistant, of retired and sedentary habits, but not idle in his solitude, working diligently for the mind, and steadily so from principle. How little do tiie world know of these matters, or, when known, value orestimate. Demosthenes contended with innumerable difficulties beforo becominir an orator, but by perseverance and writing Thucydides' Peloponesian war, as Blair did' his sermons, eight times in succession, conquered them all, and became the most renowned of antiquity., So it was with King, who resorted to composition, on encoun- tering vicissitude, as a source of consolation, until, by perseverance, he mastered any subject: adding another signal defeat to the many they have already sustained, of the Phrenologists, saying nothing for their singular one of Dean Swift, and the no less remarkable of Professor Person: possessing the veritable bump by which tl^ would have pronounced him something «f an idiot or little short of a fool ; meeting the difficulty by contending that such a bump is negatived by a counteracting one I Fud^e I Principal D succeeded b^ yielding to indulgent mothers, for every mother considers her crow a pigeon, videlicet — ^Did Sammy complain of mazimus in Latin ? She interceded and 'twas brevier : alias excess in Greek, and he construed one half : or another too much Euclid? 'twas bisected : whilst Tommy preferring his liber to the Globes^ for him they turned on their axis no more: and so on through a circle of the sciences. Thus our Principal waa a very nice man in the. estimation of those adn idlers. He was from Arden in Warwickshire,' Bolnns affixed their nest for three years, to the reading desk in Hampton church, which tiiti would not disturb, but substituted another book. Mv predecessor was the Rev. W. Gibt^br ion g^tleman much reduoed by the bubbles of WOjjfki w P ■ ITEMS. 191 000 Ootnpanlet afeMe, without » doien now existing, tharei then bringing hundreds now sell for ilre shilUnsSi caw- ling £14,000;000 to change hands I resembling the canal mania of 1792. Gibson rerifled he who rears. a menu* ment to another's famct is as the sun to his planets, or the ocean to a rirulet, and was unquestionably talented { a word that sares many others though censured by purists, on the ground that no passive roice can exist where there is not an actlre one. After the epistle he used a psalm- Terse or gradual, because anciently chanted on the steps (gradut) of the pulpit. His deliyery was at all timea eloquent, and goremed by that benisn good will so beautifully conspicuous in the ministration of our Lord: delivering the revealed will of his Master, in a modulated tone of seal and awe, never with the offensive rant and shout of the conventicle. It was his lot to be settled amid heresy and schism ; to be surrounded by men hardly able to scan a notice, or inscribe it with their names, yet unblushingly assuming the pastoral office; undertalung to enliehten when themselves were In darkness, and to lead where they required leading ; he nevertheless abstained from all interference, conscious that discussion under* such circumstances was not only fruitless, but risked the production of further error ; yet in the mild and persuasive language of his Redeemer, invited to the paths of their sleeping fathers, whilst leading them the way in gentleness and peace. His countenance resembled that depicted of St. John, to whom the hymn Ut queant Icuois is ascribed, and from which Guido's gamut' is taken ; Diaconus' hvmn thereon is the model of all Monkish metre in Latin and every modem language as well. He admired the Bhapsodi, or reciters of ancient poets, especially Homer, brouj|;ht itito Greece by Lvcurgus, who, when singing his Ihad, were clad in red, but enchanting the Odyssey, put on blue, ^lian, Cicero, and others question the integrity of Homer's Poems, ascribing these 16,000 lines to Pisis- tratus, which it is certain, saying nothing about author- slup, were arranged by him or his son at Athens, wherein the Greek alphabet was not received imtil 403 years beibtt^^^klBr^birth of Christ, but Homer's works date 900 yeiil^lllMilMor, no edition whereof ever appeared before tltti^t'^thens ; stone and metal being the only materials on v^ch characters were then imprinted. Dr Barnes, in 11^ spent his whole fortune on an edition of Homer, but ^ -little to his credit, since these poems, £rom inspiring 1»2 ITEMS. » lore of military glory, hare dono ih€ greatMt poMlbIt injury to mankind : Aleiander alwayi ilept with toem wi. der his pillow. When we know that the reoelrer of these diftinctioni was without a home and in want of bread, one is led into a train of reflections not rery flattering to the age hi which he liTod, nor by any means encouraging to the followers of his art. Bards and Rhapsodists were andently called propheti, which eiplains ** Saul met a company of propkeU with a psaltery, tabret, and harp." Much the ■ame applies to iSwr / and Exekiol calls all tyrants hunters, because Nimrod was not only a mighty hunter, but a great tyrant. Qibson, when in town, attended St. Paul's; its side aisles were the farorite resort of our nobility and gentry in 1610. Dr Orofb's Musica Sacra, contain the funeral lerrices performed here. Lowe's Oathedral Directions were the flrst appearing after the restoration. Haydn being at St. Paurs on the metropolitan charity children's annirersary, declared he had never been more powerfully affiBcted by music than on hearing their well-trained, llweet and clear voices sins the 100th Psalm. St. Ambrose's object in nis celebrated chant, was so to simplify art and melody, that the people, as they do, might accompany the choir : his was the first, and St. Gregory's, which we retain under the appelation of plain song, the second chant. Marinus Saunters, circa 1250, first introduced musical instruments into churches, on which the Venerable Bede is silent, but eloquent as to the manner in which psalms and hymns were sung : the latter were first composed by St. Hilary, followed by Prudentius and St. Ambrose, who originated that of Te Deum upon baptising Augustine. Our beautiful Morning and Evening hyntns are by Dr Ken, Bishop of Chester, one of the seven Bishops sent to the Tower by James H. Psalms, without metre, flrst ap- peared in uie Eastern churches, circa 283. Gibson's romantic turn led him to admire the Troubadours, the first of whom, William, Count of Poitou, died 1122. He intended publishing a Harmony of the Gospels, until per- using Archbishop Armagh's incomparable one : Leo X. introduced Harmony or singing in parts. About this time the following incident befell me^ whioh I give for the advantage of those not above benefiting from the experience of others : I had granted a mortgMe upon an estate held of Cambridge University (e^lesiaiftui ITEMS. 198 an our bett Umdlordi) to be redeomed on a ipedlied day, whioh requiring exteniion, our mutual attomey*! letter addng it, contained an enclosure as a compensation : Uio next pay-day was unnoticed, and on inquiry why, waa anawered that I had committed usury by accepting the present, and therefore forfeited my mortgage. I apprised the attomey (holding an appointment, through me, of £600 a year) that u this were not ad* Justea to my entire satisiaction, he must abide the con- sequences, since if he did not know I must therefore tell him, that erery attomey being responsible for the ImmI acta of his client, — the pit which he had so gratefmly prepared for me, was in realitv opened for himself. Had this letter been direct from the client, I should not only haye lost my mortgage, but incurred a penalty of three times its amount : which infamous practice on the pocket becoming dangerous only when pursued in a more Tulgar manner, is one of the hundred anomalies of our law. Nerer part with original deeds ; an abstract, with per- mission to inspect, answers all purposes ; adrertismg money-lenders make large sums by getting them into their nands, and then, auer certain wily practices, wont return them till payment of heary demands for pretended labor done. Professionals calling themseWes respectable sometimes practice this sort of swindling. Some persons hare strange notions of right: thus one' man borrows £100, and by trade makes it £200, for which they, and perhaps correctly, applaud him, but if the lender, by whose money he gains it, take more than 5 per cent., they would not only depriye him of the principal but hit character also. Interest anciently exceeded eight timet its present rate, and those that reduced it to 6, often bor- row at 10, and sometimes higher, thereby showing tiie fallacy of their own enactments. In those countriet where money, without which nothing can be accom- plished, is left, like merchandize, to find its own leyel, itt adyantages haye neyer been disputed. The word Usury so reproachful in popular estimation, means simply inter-, est for money lent, St. Luke c. 19, y. 23. The flye best treatises from 1550 to 1825, on this ill-understood and unjustly treated subject, create, op opening, a mist, and leaye, upon closing, a blank : if we bequeaw nothing for posterity to discoyer what then is to become of inquiry ? Agun— when boarding near town, I was induced to plaoe the husband of a needle-woman, employed by the nmily, i^parently most artlett and unaatuming, in a 104 ITEMS. amall way of buiineM, wherein, had it not been for her* ' dKpable of doceiring the gutMeman with many names, as I afterwards found out, he would have prospered : whera-' upon considtiag him, 'twas M;reed I should put in anothw tending) oobwebs to oatoh hwstones, because making much the same impression^ and abicUng about m long with the tyro as trarellers through thoroiuhfisresii or wan ter in a sieve. From what ooouired here, I would recom* mend the pages of said books to be numbered, as a pr«!^ ^entire to aMtraotion* .t)'l would ask this professional — ^why reject sacred for pn^nowritin your academy, or rather school, as, by common consent the former is applied to a day, and tbo latter a boarding establishment. Do you think that pretty speeches taken from play-house scribes, or florid extrafitft out of ephemeral novelists, can improve the heart or make it better than any borrowed from that ancient book ? Enfield's Speaker with others of even greater dramatio tMidencies, have done more to mislead our jouth and fill ft theatre than I can describe or the reader unagine* I He who assumes the sock and buskin, has chosen a part of all others the most beset with thorns, and is almost invariably the child'of misfortune, any result to the con- tnuy is as the day to eternity, or one in a million ; for which reason I have always raised my voice against those theatrical exhibitions lionising of late years our eduea^ tional institutions. To those who may observe 'tis the custom of Westminster and Eton (which says little for their wisdom, over and above being in a language which most of their audience have either forgotten or know nothing at all about) I would reply, a white linen cloth universally covers the table for our^t meal, but at tea, though comprising the same materials, 'tis as universally withdrawn : this is custom, which is commonly as much puzsled to find an excuse for that which it has done, aa another for what it is about to do. Dominus D ^n used digit to show that computation was anciently performed by thefinffers, as it still is by our mobile : also three-fourths of an inca. When your learned men undertake derivations, they frequently do this in such a way as to be about as much understood when they leave off as before they began, because adhering to the schools rather than simplicity or locality : as pohticians believe important events never happen but oy corresponding agendes, though often arising from the silliest imaginablo ; so old words, from caprice, take new positions, as plunder that of baggage, and thus received in America : " Phindw it Flemish for property of any kind. Donee." the last emigrant^ ilraa> tnus announce<( " Mr Flather has just 196 nxMS. anrired with his plunder.** too generally proper enongli ; It Mr Flather uoresaid the writing-master of OarUde Grammar School, oonyid^d, in its Assizes for 1841^ of an atrodous misdeed against his friend ? A former student, when in arms and posthumous, hay- ing £20,000 left him, became a ward in Chancery, who allowed £100 a year for his maintenance, which he neter had enlarged, that, imbibing the popular errors on this Court, he might have something to receive when of age ! imagine his astonishment on then finding his £20,000, by accumulative interest, become £40,000 1 The Accomp. tant Oeneral's last amount of its Funded property was £60,000,000 spread over 13,000 accompts. Mr Eve, an undermaster, whose aunt crossed the At- lantic twice past 85, and died at Woolwich aged 1121 was related to T. Wishart, Annandale, N.B., who smoked from seven vears old till dying in 1760, aged 124! like his zrandfatner near CuUoden, which celebrated battle- fieldf now belongs to Mr Forbes, of Culloden Castle. He once kept a day school at Hoxton, next to J. Dorrell's chandler's shop, who dying suddenly, £500 were found secreted a]>out him, provmg that this sort of shop is not always so unprofitable as generally supposed. fiive tried many expedients for ensuring success, but failed, amongst others that of periodicals for miscellaneous reading, his first being Junius' Letters, a copy whereof fetched £25 in 1804, and next The Microcosm, oy Masters Smith, Frere, and Canning, Eaton scholars, 1787 : like- wise the Minature, (a word originated by Mignard), an- other Eton periodical, of 1805, by the sons of Marquis Wellesley, Masters Knight, Rennall, and Canning : to which succeeded Eton Chronicles, printed but never pub- lished, or circulated by advertisement, by Earl Grosvenor and Mr Gifford ; preceded, in 1788, by the Trifler, in- debted to Messrs Taunton, Allen, Oliphant, and the Hon. W. Aston, of Oxford and Cambridge Universities. This tutor's qualifications reminded me of one clapning an empty shell to another's ear and exclaiming, " Hear now the sea roars." Shakespeare and Garrick were themes on which he might tire others but could never himself. He had fao similes of the six genuine signatures of the former (a seventh brought 21 guineas inFletchei'B rooms) which he deems a treasure; and lately walked 100 miles to sketch an old jug, once Shakespeare's property, now Mr Bonnet's, Tewkesbury. This equals John Kemble giving £150 for six of his plays ; the Duke of Devonshire ITEMS; 197 200 giilaeas for eteren oiheni a third £28 for his Merry Wiyes of Windsor; and a fourth XOl for his Yenus ana Adonis ; or old oidtuk fetching 6d0 enineas in Mr Bedcford'a sale, at Bath, which might he easuy matched for iss many shilMngs. Garriok was paid 16 guineas per week, Mid accumulated a fortune, but modern stars receive £60 and £100 per night, and so far from amassing fortunes, very' often die in a benevolentiarum : even Power, in 18d9^ was paid £96 per week at the Adelphi ; and yet peopla wonder at the universal failure of managers. Our London theatres produce, or did produce, £300,000 a year more thtm those of Paris. I must confess that I ani no great admirer of tragedy myself, as the real scenes of life afford too many occasions for the discovery of this muse, without tho trouble of seeking her in those of fiction : over and above the sameness of its termination, either by suspen- sion or in a churchyard ; what of life remains for me, 1 would prefer being cheered b> tints of some lighter shadey than depressed by those of so dark a hue. Oarrick first apostrophised the gallery as Gods in hia prologue, " And you, ye Gods, to merit never blind." And his band leader, Garvetto, remarkable for a large nose» originated their well known phrase, when calling for music, ** Gome play up nosey." and Gag^ery or varied amuse- ments to draw houses on benefit mghts. The originsd of Bluebeard was Marshal de Laval, burnt alive at Nantz, hi 1440, for treason ; and that of Jeremy Diddler, a son of Bibb, the cutler, of Govent Garden, better known as Cowat Bibb. A Prima Donna is allowed two sofas in her dressing room, and every other only one : male attire give actresses 6s. a night extra, and parts of 40 lines are Lengths. The first play bill ^ued from Drury Lane, Apnl 8, 1603. Gollins' Moralit^r of the Stage, 1738, with " The Roving Husband Reclaimed." by a Lady's Glub, effected great reforms. Theatricals were anciently performed in Ibm yards, the audience standing upon the ground, whence our word groundlings. French dramatisto receive some- times one sixteenth but ordinarly a sixtieth of the receipts of the house, every time their productions are performed, yielding a revenue of £2000 to Scribe, and which their families enjoy for 10 years affcer their death. A similar regulation now exists amongst ourselves t the late Thomas Dibden wroto 300 theatrical pieces, a majority whereof succeeded — Mother Goose realising £20,000 to the managers, and his Hieh Mettled Racer £12,000 to Astley's^but Qftreless and improvident us the rest of hh m TtBMBi «rift,MT«d nothing from this 'brodigkuls ion and labor. Wourer, a dauoiag Duuiter of Shroiribtirj, ; oiiiginaited pantomimes { his first, ** Tke Tatem Bilkdrs.*' enacted in 1702, failed bat his second) «The Loves of Bfars and Venus." had a great xuni. llie first theatre was that of Bacchus, at Atiiens, bhilt 420 years B.O; Ilie best regn* lated Parisian theatre allows you to leave the house at any hour, with permission to sit out the renuuinder another night, or sell the ticket fbr its present value. The theatrical charges of Shakespeare's time have hwa nearly restored at the Qarrick Theatre, Leman Street, Good- man's Fieldsj which, with other estates producing £400,000 a Tear, £2,000,000 more in the Funds, and a baronetc^y fell, by a decission of the Gourt of Ohanoery» in 1688, to John Leman, a mechanic of Nottingham* Mr Eve was preceded by a A& Maunder, of fiEkir abilities) better known as Panto, because on reading punia war, meaning the Garthagenian one, a crafty people, ex Pceni the Phoenicians, he cdleda misprint tor panic i known also for this i^riginal style in his epistolary communica- tions, which, to a friend, contained only tho little crooked 0gure of " f, " meaning — ** Any news," the answer would be in character, namely a round ** o." implying—*-" Nothing." He was fond of Archaisms, as NaiJuett for nevertheless and notwithstanding; NtbiUaua for a hazey, cloudy or dark day; Homoloaotu for similar, like or alike; and Oeoponiocdt tilling the earth'-MSorre .atively great in other wonis, videlicet. Dunce is said to have been coined amonest the students of Oxford (?) circa Henry YHI.'s time, m>m Dun Scotus, whose works they greatlv admir- ing begat them the name of i^utw, which presently glided into Jhtneet whilst their little wits as flippantly said of him that he wrote so many books that no on^ man is hardly able to read them, and no one man is able to understand theui— with divers other obsolete and bygone words, as far. £rom their proper place as the end of the world, a phrase certainly incorrect, so long as we hold it to be orbular, for we might as well say tfie moon's end, or the end of a ring. • He vacat^ for a clerkship in the Petty-Bag Office, transferred to the Board of Qreen Gloth, because a green dotb covers its table, as one of chequers does that of the Gourt of Exchequer. The Grown writs, used tobek^l in a lUtle bag, and those relating to the suiject m a hamper, hence : ;the Hamjpter and Petty-bag Offices. Before accepting which he visited the city ca RomO) where ITBMB^ IM • be WM long oonflned by liokcesi, wbieb oity, beddet 18 others for gimilar purposes, has hospital aecommoda^ii for the hurt and nuumed, making up 6000 beds> ai^d reliering 34,000 patients, though a population of but 160,000. Haunder's penchant for enffravings and mezzotintoeSy disoorered by Prince Rupert, induct me to present him Oaulfleld's Oalcographiana, or guide to them, and to notion that Oazton's ** Mirror of the Worlde, 1481." is our first book ornamented with wood outs, bringing £361 in the Roxburgh sale, and the sky part of our Book Annuals, recently introduced, executed oy a new invented machine, and paper for proofs made in France. The nigher a school ranks the less is said about com- mons ; in others of another order, animal indulgence is the highest consideration, as if fattening for the shambles or a spit: nevertheless Dominus D n kept a table in humble imitation of Lord Lancaster's, in 1313, absorbing £160,000 annually : the Duchy comprises 389 manors, the forfeited property of Roger de Poitou, for rebelling against William the Conqueror. liCany academicians at a remove from town, additionally to other absenteism, must needs have a farm to increase it still more : I have often seen a Principal learned in school lord, inter-trading with a rag merchant, in partnership with an oflfal dealer, or Go. & Go. with a vintner. Learn- ing does not easily endure rivals, and he who introduces them will find, when too late, the mistake that he I^ made in doing so. . .. !k <.» ..uJ Another assistant^ Mr Strange, the letters of whose name will form seventy two words all distinct from each other, was here for a while preparatory to retirement. His gentlemanly conduct ana den^eanour, in the first academical engagement he held, brought him many friends and much respect, but resigned from a lady of fortune, through a confidante, offering him her hand — ^mainiy inducing him to travel^and reside some years abroad ! On bis return the proposition was renewed, with a fortune increased to £50,000, but declined, for reasons best known to himself, though arising, I believe, from some unhappy cases of this nature in his own family, on par with thJAt of the unfortunate Eugene Aram, noticed page 178. The following items, embodying the pai;agraph pre- ceding my last, are from a tutor in the establishment of Mr B — *-d, T> — ^n, Kent. Entering in August ex Auguatm Omar being, in Uiat month, made consult IM rrsMS. thrioe triumphing In Romb, iubdning Bfypt, And termi- nating the olril wars : he travelled the last twenty mltot on foot ; w^en coming to a fleld a little beyond staple^ hunt, he poroolTod a tomb, looured by iron rallwork, In its oontrot 'twas Mr J. Doctor's, of the adjoining parish of Uloomb, who, as ho afterwards loamt, was a lawver In that riUaffO, and having some dispute with its inhabitants, declined the common Dormitory, leaving dirootions, with his executors, for tho ono boforo named. In Ulcomb lived and died tho Marquis of Ortnond, whose estates, ■old Oct. 25, 1826, woro tho largest ever disposed of by public sale, tho duty alone boinff £15,750. Principal B was oducated by the Vicar of Oran- brook, noted for writing within tho compass of a sixpenoo tho whole of tho Apostles Greed, sroundod upon the writings of Ironoeus, TortuUian, and Origin, which last, throwing aside the motaphor ir. St. Matthew, o. 19. v. 12., actually oflbctod it on himsolf. Dominus Buck was defective about tho legs : the main causo of so many rioketty children is putting them too oarly upoh thoir foot. He patronised chernos, of which Kent is the garden, fint reared there circa A.II. 96 — especially upon sticks, as for other ehildrmf first sold in this flMhion about 100 years since. The word " Honijf- wood" originating In this county during a contested eleo- tion, moans nine cheers given in quick succession. Ho doubted as to the proper choice of ootemporary and contemporary : after all the pains that philologers have bestowod on those words, thoy appear to have succeeded in nothing but their orthograpny, leaving the affUr of their choice in much the same position as before. The learned Bontley, after laying down certain canons for their regulation, on coming unexpectedly upon hiaper, several usually occupying his pockets and another his nand — ^he did this by hiinseu construing, to hasten the ending, and as often translated to evade turning out; in this way did the tyro tnvel through his classics, in humble imitation of the Chand Toiir» or a trip throuffh the NetherlMidi, Qfimtmj, Italjt and France of his elden. The retuH needs no tellinff ; but how few parents are able to detect the wrong t and of those that oan» pray how many erer giro thetnselref that trouble r His rudiments (Ruddiman's) went through six editions during the author's life. Masister instructed his pupils never to communicate any information without thinking three times: accordingly being one day in his study* standing with his back to the flroi a pupil appeared at the door, »nd was about calling out, but checking himself said— <*I have thought once, Sir." <* That's a good boy for minding my instructions." wafe the reply : similar ap- probation following — ^"I hare thought twice, Sir." on adding—" I have thought three times. Sir." he was de- sired to communicate his information, which he did briskly— << Please, Sir, your coat tail's on Are!" If the originators of crude and indigestible opinions were to be subjected beforehand to their operation, it would be a wholesome check to their growth, and especially so as to the reigning follies amonest us. Mrs B , of peculiarly unobtrusive manners, was re* lated to General Sir J. Irwin who, in 1781, gave an enter- tainment to the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, at which was served up a piece of confectionarv, costing £1600, repre- senting the siege of Gibraltar, with the besiegers batteries firing sugar-plums at the works. She had a separate in- come secured by settlement, which, in the upper circles, when of small amount, is called Pin-money, but if a large one, then a jointure. In early times, pins were a pecu- liar object, as New Year's gifts, to ladies, instead of the wooden skewers used till the 15th century : they were occasionally substituted by money ; hence the allowance for their separate use in wealthy families, is still called Pin-money. The sister of Mrs B , a very beautiftil woman, en- countered the too common fate of that possession, b^ falling into the snares of a heartless profligate and ulti- mately dying of a broken heart, or rather mental suflfer- ing, as such a thing, say anatomists, was never known in the human species, animals alone from over exertion, do sometimes burst or break their hearts. Dominus devoted an hour between nine and twelvey and another during two and five, to looking after his poultry and cattle-^ word of doubtful etymology, be« cause comprising those that serve for agriculture or hu- WH ITBMSj man MiitonaiioetMMintorinff round the fleldf »4)oiiiIiig our ■cihooUiouBei huntioff rate In his barn, or drowning them in the hone-pond, miishinff with a nibble in hit pantry. Henoe he .might be olaiiea with the Laui, oae of th* three ranlci into which our ancestors divided the people* but now applied to a oertaiti remnant on par with tlie Lassaroni, or idle ragabondi of Naples. The premature death of Mrs B— — '§ liiter, reminds me of what Dr Sohlegel states, — ^there eiiste J^ Paria a •odety callinff itself " The Frimd$ ean May and Secretary Smith; founded on the Leqend Aurea. The last edition of the Common Prayer, oy authority, was in 1662. Bowyer^s Macklin's BiNe, forming 46 vols, folio, containing 7200 drawings and engravings, he regularly insured for £3000 : private property not, as some state, in the British Museum whose catalogue has Luminalia, or the Festival of Light, entered to ^e credit of Ben Jonson, when the production ITIBIf0» WW of T. Joaetv oa the detidctioa of thii or any oorretpond* lag error, let no one pres«me» for whiofa of ui i» ipfMlible I IhU rather the exeroue of tha^ forbearance towardi othan of which wo itaoAl ia lo much need ounelrei. Mn B-— — >, and her hiubandi or Uie band which unitei the houie» m fpouge is to pramm froelv, were nuMl inveterate droaniurs, and ineoMantly quoting Dr Oaie'i « Anffolioal Guide." with SaltonsUll's " Somnia Allegorioa." Ampnietyon of Athens IfiOO years B.O. Arst atten^>ted their explanation, on which much learning with a great deal of nonsense hare been expended: no one needi tolling why he droanu of things engaging him by day^ but 'tis otherwise with those that nerer do. Lord Byrod dreamt three niehts successively of the duel-murder of Lord Gamelford before he knew or ever saw him. I had long lost an old school-fellow, when dreaming I should find him in St. Paul's Cathedral the followmg Sunday : perchance, on the Saturday succeeding this dream, I went to London and remained some dagrs. Strolling up Ludgate Hill on Sunday morning, ei^oying^ as I always do, its sabbath change, on coming to the Cathedral, I mechanically entered, when the first persoii I saw in the area of the chapel, was my Ions-lost school* fellow, thereby fulfilling my dream, which, up to the moment of seeing him, 1 had entirely fonzotten. A cottager of Needham Market, Suffolk, as I heard from his relict, dreaming several nights in succession, that if he journied to town, and went upon London Bridge^ he would hear of something to his advantage, was at length induced to do so. On getting upon we bridge, he was accosted by a provincial, who, after some prelimi- nary observations, said his appearance there was the result of a dream ; that hidden treasure was to be found in a certain cottage (minutely describing it) the location of which was known to a passenger he would meet on tlxe bridge. As this description agreed exactly with our dreamer's whereabouts, he kept his council, returned home, and diligently searching in ihe place described, discovered much wealth. A student spending the vacation with an uncle at Bye-<- whose brother dying March 22, 1806, worth £20,000 com- plained that living formerly costing him £6 a ^ear, now required £13 1 — ^boasted of a correspondence with noble- men, as their letters corroborated: representing to thesa personages that he was about engaging a footman who referred to them for character* constituted the corxi^ 206 ITllMS. pondence : a promising beginning, plain as a quotient to its sum, or a proof in diyision, of nereafcer promotion in the travelling way or hemp and fetter line. This young worthy was noted for Barring out, or lawless possession of the school-room preceding recess, which, at Winchester College, March 7, 1818, caused the expulsion of 12 scholars, and retirement of 42 others. Addison was the last, at Lichfield Grammar School, in this yiolation of authority, the devotion of whom, in his maturCr years, is alike estimated on the continent, especi* ally by Haydn, who, on composing the Creation, always preceded it; by prayer : he was secretly attached to that species of writmg designated German, the offerings of its woodland scenery and deep overshado wings of the Black Forest. Leipsic is their intellectual mart ; its booksellers exchange their commodities on a year's credit, returning those unsold under the appropriate denomina- tion of Crabs. Upon Dominus saying that Alfred originated trial by Jury, he was corrected by the quotation of a trial at Hawardine, Flintshire, nearly a century before Alfred's birth, wherein a list of tne 12 jurors is handed down to us : Alfred, who first translated the ten commandments and prefixed them to a body of laws, may have improved, but did not originate our valuable, yet too-oft abused trial by Jury. Though unable to read before twelve years old, he afterwards so improved himself as to trans- late St. Gregory the Great, for the various Dioceses in his kingdom, when hardly a priest could translate the Lord's Prayer, sixty four of its sixty nine words being Saxon, a language undeniably the parent of our own. A bachelor acquaintance boarding with myself at a se(]^uestered residence near Tenterden, was a good deal smitten with radicalism, but on acquiring a fortune on the death of his aunt, thereupon abandoned it : on my inquir- ing his motives for doing so, a volume could not have expressed more than his answer, « Because I have now something to lose." He had a deadly hatred of Sparrows, which ho imbibed in Guernsey, whose states vote .£70 yearly for destroying ihem, ignorant that a pair, whilst rearing their young, will consume 3000 caterpillars weekly, far more destruc- tive than sparrows to agriculture. He thereupon col- lected all the publications he owned, by Gobbet, and made a bonfire of them, a shining example of whose political character appears in his at one time abusing ITEMS. 20» the Bank for ruining the country because it paid in paper, then, on its afterwards resuming cash paymentB> charging them with the same offence for paying in specie. H. Thornton, M.P., deceived, like many others, by ^his man's verbiage, wrote a book on the paper credit of a ig- land, but soon discovering his error, put himself to great expense in suppressing it. That we may see, on a small scale, which is a great tale-bearer, how careful a radical or reformed parliament is of the public purse, the witnesses in 323 Committees of really constitutional principles up to 1818, received only £1642, whilst those in 485 of radical Committees, down to 1839, were paid £85,629 ! (see Parliamentary Reports.) For sample on a larger scale consult back page 129. A leader of this fraternity having lifted a large sum of money, to relieve his necessities, from the pockets of a deceased baronet, in such a way as to make it difficult to lift back again — which, indeed, it never was — ^boasted of the feat before a crowded party of his confreres who» because a leaf out of their own book, applauded to the echo, being without sixpence of their own, and never expecting one but by a similar operation of their principles. Many object to " Parliamentary History" because *tia signed by Cobbet's name, but he never wrote a line of it» being Mr Wright's of Regent's Park, since merged in Hansard's Parliamentary Debates. If the general tenor of a man's writings, like Beloe's Recollections of a Literary Life, for presumption, mis-statement, and malignity, with- out a rival — can only be distinguished for a ruthlesB infringement on public morals, and a heartless invasion of private rights, those writings should not only be sub- mitted to John Ketch, but their author abandoned to execration and contempt. The curfew was regularly peeled from the elevated tower of Tenterden church, remarkable, on other accounts, as detailed in the history of Kent : having a dash of the romantic in my composition, this had its weight with me, particularly when booming heavily across the fields to my study, in a closing summer eve or darksome night of winter, which, added to a highly valued college friend then holding the living, induced me to remain there longer than I otherwise should have done : on his depar- ture to that bourne from whence no traveller returns, I soon after withdrew with very deep regret, since in his society, and rambling amongst its sweet woodland scenery, I have passed some of the happiest moments of my Ufe* 810 ITEMS. In an old baronial castle near Canterbury, the curfew has been regularly rung ever since the Conquest. Whilst here the following incident occurred : — One day a caravan entered the town, occupied by its owner, wife, and son, and having obtained permission, located in a field on the Bethersden road. Presently a rumor arising that it was haunted, drew crowds to the field. The door of the caravan was open, with the wife sitting on one side sewing, the son, about 19, on the other reading, and the father, for a gratuity, showing the vehicle. The visita- tion consisted of mysterious knockings, much increased on putting some such question as " Has any foul deed been ever committed in tnis field or vicinity 7 A gentleman of the town (Mr Pigram) actually pub- lished a pamphlet thereon of 50 pages, and distributed amongst his fnends. On witnessing this afiair myself, two things struck me as singular, the large shoes of the Jroung man, and that when he moved the knocking fol- owed him. This led to its detection, which originated with the son who, aided by his capacious shoes, jerked his naked toes over each other down upon the sole leather With so much force, as to produce the noise in question, greatly augmented by the drum-like properties of the vehicle. Presence of mind will accomplish wonders in an affair of this sort, as for instance — boarding, preparatory to entering Oxford, in a retired village four miles distant from the market town, but reduced one half by taking a footpath through the fields, including that of our village dormitory, I occasionally, as a relaxation from study, strolled over to tea with a friend there, and returned to my domicile through the fields. It so happened that upon one of these excursions, I was detained later than usual, nevertheless, it being a fine starlight night, declined a bed and bent my steps homewards. On coming up to the swing gate at the entrance of the path through tne churchyard, which runs close against the porch, a deep sepulchral moan arrested my attention, as in the same instant, the midnight hour struck out hollowly from the belfry. These sounds reminding me of certain rumors floating about the village, I halted, and gathering myself up to penetrate that kind of haze so oft prevailing below whilst millions of stars are glittering above, waited the event. There is at all times a solemnity around the mansions of the dead which never fails to rouse my devotional ITEMS. 211 feelings, and that IreTere and love to see rerered, which the evenine shades, more especially a midnight silencoi must, to the meditatire, necessarily increase ; he who helieres to the contrary, or rather affects to do bo» encourages a belief that does him no honor, nor should any one sanction. I was recalled from my reverie by a repetition of the moan : when looking through the mist to the best of mv ability, plainly saw a figure in white emerge from a tomb under the chancel window and disappear at the church porch, close to which I must unavoidably pass. I was overtaken by a surprise which the time and place were of a nature to increase rather than diminish. I had no alternative but to choose the path before me, and in that case encounter an object held by every one in dread, or retracing my steps for the road, several miles in addition, avoid it. After a pause, and recovering myself, I decided upon going through the churchyard. As I advanced, I caught a glimpse of the figure in a recumbent posture, which, on my approaching the porch- open, with side seats, as in all country churches — rose up, and coming forth, I then discovered to be no spirit, but a beautiful maniac, daughter to a gentleman in the village, who had that night eluded her keeper, to visit the tomb of her lover under the chancel window, who, shortly before their intended union, being taken from her by death, produced an illness that, settling in her min4, finally destroyed it. After much difficulty, I succeeded in restor- ing her to her friends. Mr Darner, one of B ^"s masters, on coming to a moderate estate, let it on lease, then went out to see the world in that of the scholastic : a better he could not have chosen for a satisfactory issue, since after seeing that I doubt if any craving will axist after any other, at least of a sublunary character. He was called Alley Darner, as Southev does Groker in " Talavera." for misaccenting alky and aUiei : a good logician, composing in Latin, the best tract on Syllogisms I ever saw ; attacked by your private critics, to the full as unscrupulous as your public ones, over and above that envious characteristic of ascribing every new idea to any one but the right owner. He spent his vacations amongst the Gipsies, so ably described in Baper's Grellenan, that rove the Weald of Kent, until robbery and insult broke the spell. ••F4'. & Mi ' 212 ITEMS. He was subject to a slight attack of Diabetes, from a severe one of which a relative recovered by copious bleed- ing and a beverage of Lime water ; previously cured of an invetente scurvy by a table spoonful of Lemon juice three times a day. I relieved him from the Piles by in- ducin^ him to substitute Yarrow in place of tea ; a sprout of which I can never pass without grateful remembrance of its valuable properties, since it enabled me to keep my father alive for eight years after being given over by Sir Astley Cooper. ^ Fashion has in no instance shown less claims to atten* tion than by rejecting sulphur as a medicine : a quarter of a pound of powdered brimstone mixed with the same weight of treacle, taken Spring and Autumn, in one or two teaspoonsfuU at bed-time, is of incalculable benefit, and a valuable remedy for destroying worms. The fickle- ness and changeability of the French are well shown in their at one time proscribing our emetic from their materia medica, and the potatoe as an article of food, though they now use both not less willingly than liberally. Tms tutor for a period, but only a short one to answer a purpose, held an appointment in the Post-Office, whose officials are the most worked and worst paid of any other, especially postmen or letter carriers, who for a daily ten hours labour receive the mormity of £1 weekly. The number of letters posted in the kingdom amount to 760 per minute. Publicans and Pawnbrokers are known by an ecce signum or appropriate sign, then why not Post- Office receiving houses by an equally distinguishable one ? for want of which every stranger is puzzled to find their locality. Bamer measured his respect according to the number of syllables in a man's name, following the late Lord Chancellor Clare who, in 1798, maintained that every Irishman with three names was a rebel. He attempted an establishment near Llandulph, Cornwall, but failed from being a bachelor, though a maiden sister was his housekeeper, but being on the other side of , a certain acerbity usurped the place of those amenities so amiable in women: consentient with the querist — ^Why do you now resemble a snapping turtle, when so full of glee in your teens? said a younger brother to his sister, an unaffianced lady of a certain age. Plainly, answered another brother for him, because no animal is so playful as a Kitten, nor any one less so than a Cat. ITESCS. 213 In Llandulph church lay entombed the remains of Theodora, last christian Emperor of Qreece. Cornwall has produced more histories than any other of our coun- ties, the best is Garew's, published, by Lord De Dunstan- ville, in 1811. So rich is it in mines and minerals, that a relative has been offered £4000 a year for permission to sink a shaft beneath his family seat, but fearing ultimate consequences very properly refused. The mineral wealth of Sweden and Norway is consi- derable, but their cultivated or useful land does not, in extent, exceed that of Yorkshire. Silver mines are more valuable, at least more productive than gold ; thus whilst the annual production of the various mines of gold are but £2,760,000, those of silver produce £8,000,000. The celebrated silver ones of Potosi, discovered in 1646, by a Peruvian hunter, have already yielded £240,000,000. Damer being a cidevant from Mon. Dillon, Rochester, vide page 158, (not in the Weald or woody part of Kent,) added other items to his score. He started from London on accepting the tutorship ; when repairing to the Brick- layers Arms, Kent Road, whose door sill is but six inches above high water mark, for the stage, but missing it, he did it on foot, being but 30 miles, and arrived in time for tea. This is a means for acquiring information on men and things that no books can teach or study furnish, and which, whenever I can, I always adopt myself. *,. Madame, though plump as the lean end of a scrag of mutton, with a complexion resembling a boiled trout, vet appeared with the neck and shoulders bare, causing within him a nauseau or heaving very remote from its old Earticiple of heaven. Isabella of Bavaria, a symmetrical eauty, first introduced this custom. Madame had fine ringletted hair, but then 'twas a wig, an invention of the Egyptians, one in the British Museum, is full 3000 years old, ascribed to the Romans, but erroneously, as their Empire fell before the prowess of Odoacer, general of the Heruli, A.D. 475, after existing 1228 years. As an arbitress of precedence she might have enlight- ened Frederick the Great, who being applied to by two ladies of rank, on a point of etiquette, he quickly settled that matter by decreeing "Let the greatest fool walk She was a martyr to tight-lacing, engendering says Dr Soemmering, 96 distinct diseases ! constantly using xoreteh in the two fold sense of dalliance and reproof : a word properly of execration, we may say of a condemned 214 ITEMS. criminal, that he is a miserable wretch, but it would be improper to do so by one suffering from bodily infirmity or mental anguish. The last words Monsieur addressed to this nice pattern '■y^ a governess, concluding a retortiye tete a tete were--. ** Ah, you'r a dear creature, as the man said of his wife when giving five guineas for a cap." A commentary on our marriage ceremony, which opens with Dectrly bdoved, but closes with amazement : and Surrogate^ a gate through which people pass to get married, and therefore a corrup- tion of sorrow-gate. His predecessor Jones, related to Mr Jones 43 yean curate of Blewbury, Berks., from his stipend, left £18,000 at his death in 1827, wearing the same coat and hat all that time : his friends, two brothers, occupying a small cottage, upon dying after him, at an advanced age, as usual amongst such men, left £100,000 for benevolent purposes ; like the celebrated Bancroft, bequeathing his entire fortune for originating that noble charity in the Mile-end Road, London. Foreigners, consider us eccentric: a deceased relative concealed an iron pot in his chamber which, on his exe- cutor finding, contained 2000 guineas. Another pasted bank-notes on the leaves of a quarto labelled " Bible." in his bookcase, which, on enumerating by his heir, made a larger sum. A third and living one, conceals 1000 guineas in her house, for the gratification of counting and recon- ceallng. From some hints dropt by a wealthy shopkeeper in B' , Wilts., I advised his administrator to inspect the cellar flooring, when fourteen kegs, each holding 1000 guineas were found. In the shoe-room of a deceased Seer's country seat, an old blacking bottle was discovered lied with £20,000 in bank-notes ! Jones quitted from Monsieur's irregularity of sabbath commons, breakfast usually beginning at the last bell for church, and ending about the second lesson ; seldom there at ail in the ^ternoon, fro^ . late dinners and Madame's opinion 'twas plebeian. He turned a borachio from being jilted, which quality of absorption may be well enough for a sponge, out very b&d in a man, as it changes his system to prepared gangrene, so that tho slightest fracture will endanger life. ^Ttivas stated in a recent Parliamentary Committee that a ;publican in Wapping,by drugging his liqueurs, literally poisoned 40 me^ ^ year 1 As a sequence he frequented that rather no j locality Drury Lane, site of Sir B. ITEMS. 316 S Drury*! house and grounds, 1600, whos6 name has amorous signification : here also resided fire woinmi barbers, one of whose daughters became Duchess of Albemarle, vide '* The five imtd barbers of Drury Lane, 1638." Passing near the house in Drury Lane where Mrs Alehome, long exhibited as the strong woman, died aged 104, 1 read in a dingy shop window, "Miniatures painted, a school kept for bovs, and the French language taueht at sixpence an hour. I entered : one person, if wealthy, thougn in garments much tattered, is courted and re- spected ; a second, if poor, but in those without a rent, is neglected and despised : this is modern discernment, and who shall say that 'twas not that of the ancients also. This painter and pedagogue was a Bath man of spare form and figure, clad in apparel not easily removed with- out rending, and what linen did appear seemed to hare been washed in, pease soup and dried on a grid-iron. School being over, and evidently in want of a meal, I took him to an adjoining ordinary — without a kitchen tele- graph, first used by Macklin when tavern keeper in Leicester Fields — and was amply compensated in the zest with which he enjoyed one. He was likewise a poet, and when street singing employed 4000 in men, women, and children, but now not a fourth, drew a fair income from that source, but which, he added, was not so much his misfortune as joining in the squabbles of an adjacent parish ; when, after lettmg ofi^ a piece of poetry, which cut all manner of things but quartern loaves and legs of mutton, he had been gradually sinking ever since. This, however, is not the fate of all song writers, since £60 were given for " What a beauty I did grow." £660 "Wanted a Governess" and £800 for "Cherry ripe." The school just met his rent, his French and Auniatures almost daily provision, and for the rest, adding mournfully, " God tempers the wind to the shorn lamb." The contemplation of greater misery than our own is a powerful pleader to the feelings, whilst going great lengths in lightening its burthen, and making us grateful to Providence 'tis no heavier : I always come put from a study of tb's -Jort with very difierent emotions to when I entered, end would recommend to others as a soother of the contrite in spirit and a lesson to the proud of heart. Painfully illustrated in " The case of authors by profes- sion, 1758." After inquiry on the usual points, I procured Sl« ITEMS. him a tutorship in a lohool near Bath, where he is respected, and prudently providing for tho advances of age. My allusion to Bath, reminds me of the strange tales afloat as tq its bishopric, tho real facts are these — John de Villula, sixteenth bishop of Wells, purchasing the city of Bath, from Henry I. transferred nis residence thereto, which causing disputes between their respective clergy, they were ultimately adjusted by uniting both sees into one : vide a manual in tho library of the Marquis .of Bath, Longleat, Wilts, ; but as I am writing this in that of Par- liament House, Montreal, I cannot therefore quote from that of the noble Marquis, whose ancostrel name of Boteville was changed to Thynne, by the last John Boteville residing in one of the Inns of Court, being called ** John o* Th' Inne." abbreviated Thynne. Another ancestor called, for his great wealth, " Tom of Ten Thousand." was murdered in his coach : and a third, Clerk of the kitchen to Henry YIH., first edited Chaucer. J. CoUinson, author of Thuanus and many esteemed works, rector of Gateshead, recently deceased, published at Bath the best history of Somerset. Principal 6 ^'s tutor Wilson was a modern whig- radical, or, in common parlance, a tyrant in office and a rebel out of it, and like Magister, very fond of news- papers, the largest I ever saw was in America, "The Boston Quadruple Notion." measuring eight feet by fivet containing 96 columns, 34,600 words, 1,400,000 letters, and selling for a quarter dollar. Every paper sending in a reporter to the House of Commons, compliments the door-keeper with a fee of £.S0. Europe publishes 2160, America 1260, Asia 27, and Africa 12 newspapers : Moggridge, proprietor of our earliest paper in the South of England/ used to insert his intelligence from Yorkshire, under the head of "Foreign News." Wilson married the sister of Dominus, and opened an establishment near Bomney Marsh, comprising 24,000 acres, but without success, which, like that of a book, depends rather on caprice than any discernment in our public Mr Wilson published a work, but unsuccessfully, on false orthography, printing the words purposely wrong to be written out correctly; a very equivocal theory, let alone that error in a printed form is at all times dangerous. He was passionately fond of the organ, invented by a barber of Alexandria, 100 B.C. Dr Hodges, of Bristol, organist of Trinity Church, New York, has improved its tone b^ means of paper shavings : 'twas much desecrated ITBMS. tit in Olirer Gromweiri time, being broken up and sold pieee- meal, and, by way of derision, erected in tarems and plaioef of eril resort. A Mr Holmes residing with us till embarking for his ap- pointment in India, presented by a director on hearing nis privations as usher in a metropolitan Academy, was a genuine Londoner, so much so, that a gentleman onoft taking him for a ride in his gig on . the Bomford road» upon losing sight of cockney land mark St. Paul's, he felt a little feverish, which, when entering the long flat Uford via, and seeing nothing but the horizon in the distance, so much increased, apprehending that he had got to the world's end or thereaoouts, that he eameitlT requested to be taken back again ! never venturing beyond the suburbs, being bo/n in the parish of St. Michael, Oornhill, as Stowe the antiquarian, who devoted 63 yeari to his Annals and Survey of London, yet died aged 80, poor and unrequited. The academic duties of Mr Holmes were as follow: There were 80 boys, himself and the proprietor sole teachers ; hours of business, morning — ^I'rom 7 to 8, and 9 to 12 ; afternoon — from 2 to 6, and 6 to 8, with an even- ing class, Ave times a week, from 8 to 10 1 Portions of Wednesday and Saturday half-holidays, were devoted to ruling writing books, red-inking, and titling those for ciphering, that is, when able to do so, as I have known a penman realise £800 yearly by attending academies as an ornamental writer — setting copies, ma^ng and mending pens : these evenings were occupied in dmivering schoM terms, done up in letter form, by knock from door to door, else thrown down areas or In at kitchen windows, occasionally varied in dunning for old accompts. He received for all this board and lodging in the house, which constituted the academy a respectable one, as the far greater number can't obtain these for themselves much less afford them to others, with a salary of £10 a year f A French master attended one hour three times a week for 4s. 1 Why your very scavengers are better paid, thereby lowormg our school-masters to the Welch grade, or midway between a pauper and a laborer — ^those in its Northern part (625) receiving less wages than the lowest mechanics, who, therefore, not only despise them, but imply every thing mean and pitiful in the word usher, without whose exertions men would become mere barba- rians, and on that very account he is esteemed less than onehimself. , . .; j . .,» 918 ITEMS. A {otmet aulitant, of most retiring and unobtmalro habits, has been known to spend entire nights writing in his room, but without infringing on his official duties ; ordinarily, producing as much M.S. from one recess to another, as would fill several octavo volumes. He was serious and devout, of mild and gentle manners, but never joined in any party. Such a character always excites sympathy and respect : doubtless some secret sorrow oppressed him ; what that was no one knew, for to none aid he ever tell it: Mrs B left no means untried to extort it, a repetition of which, added to dis- covering that a lady of fortune proffered advances, caused his retirement. He attended, in vacation, St. Paul's Cathedral, where, selecting a private seat, he joined at- tentively in the sacred rites, and at any plaintive or Iienitential passage, was evidently moved even to tears, n the various places I have seen him he was always alone, pensive and dejected ; once, in the Bank Dividend Office,! thought otherwise, but it was a mistake, arising from his attentions to an elderly lady, who proved to be a stranger, in clearing a passage to the pay clerk for executing her business. What particulars I subsequentlv gleaned of this gentle- man were as follow : Soon after obtaining his majority, he departed on a visit to Maria preceding their intended union. Alighting from his conveyance, he struck across a romantic part of the country, and ascending an emi- nence commanding her abode, paused to reflect on his prospects and position. He was roused by^ a death knell booming heavily o'er the fields from the village church : imagine his amazement and distress on learning this to be for his Maria I After a lengthened retirement, he went forth as a rambler. On one of these excursions in a Western county, he was instrumental in preserving the life of a lady, but in accomplishing it so endangered his own as confined him a while in the house of her father, a widowed gentleman of fortune. When recovered he renewed his rambles, notwithstanding the entreaties of Louisa and her father, who privily provided an attendant to watch and protect him in his desultory movements ; fortunately that they did so, for on presenting a £6 note he had changed over night for a stranger, to pay his bill at a road-side Inn, 'twas pronounced a forgery and him- self detained : by means of this agent the delinquent, however, was discovered and himself released, which oircumstance drew him still closer to himself . ITEMS. 919 Jh thii manner three yean pasted away, stated intervalt in tisits to Louisa and her father : on the erening pre- ceding his last, during the summer of , my informant was in the garden, when hearing the gentle swell of an organ from Louisa's chamber, he approached beneath the window and heard her, in a low and tremulous Toicei gire the following LINES TO BLEEP. Wat* thou thy pinions gentle Bomnus here, Soothe thou my sorrow— dry the falling tear, Thy poppies scatter o'er my throbbing oreast, Lull thou its anguish— let me sink to rest. As the lone vestal in her cloister'd ^ell, Waits the glad summons of the vesper bell, To Join her sisters in their evening hymn Of heavenly praise, and sacred rites to Him Who sees and hears, and contemplates in love, ' Their choral off 'rings to the realms above, , So Blffp appear — O heed my earnest prayer, ,, To ta.ie me hence and waft me also there. ' Brezttlrc soft ye strains— ye trembling chords be mute, Th.tt 1*0 w in sadness from yon plaintive lute,* Though sweet, yet pensive as they die away. In the dark shadows of retiring day. This proved what he had long suspected, that some untold tale wrought so powerfully on ner feelings as to undermine her health, and threabon extinction, which soon mysteriously happened, for, on the second evening of the rambler's arrival, she expired beside him on the soidb I A letter on her dressing table requesting that he alone should deposit a painting of her aeliverance with his portrait, both in mmiature, secured within a gold locket, in her coffin preceding interment, revealed the cause. The father soon followed his daughter. Had he not therefore good reason for retiring and secluded habits. His occasional appearance in the scholastic world arose from incidents connected with Maria and Louisa, unnecessary to detail here as they have already appeared before the world under another form. At Easter I retired from this establishment for ruralis- ing in the County of Wiltshire, and rambling in the scenes of my early youth. County TComitatus) signifies the same afi Shire, one being of French, the other of Saxon origin : with our former three palatine ones of Chester, Durham, and Lancaster,, there were anciently two others, Pem- brokeshire and Hexamshire, which last is now added to Northumberland, but two were abolished by Henry YIII. * By a lady in the idcore of h«r garden a^oining, supposed f^om m disappointment. ; !;;i,5i m 390 ITBM8. #Bd Eliubeth, Durham being the only one left. The Iile of Ely* Tulgo a oountv palattnatei if limplv a royal firan- ohiMi the Oounty of Hanti and Hampthire, and the County of Southampton mean the same thing, but ihB latter ii it* legal definition. Though Gloucester, by Act of Parliament, has the privileges of a sea-port town, still it is not, properly speaking, a sea-port. Ramblers in Wilts, should procure Jenning's " On the West of England. Dialects. ' Ibbetson, Laporte, and Hassell's Picturesque Guide to Bath and Bristol may also be of •errice. Bath Springs were discovered 871 years B.O., and those formed there by the Romans found under the Abbey-house in 1766. In the abovementioned excursion, undertaken chiefly for yitoiting the flrave of my mother, whilst sitting solitarily and unattended, as I always am, during one of- them, gaiing mournfully and dejectedly on the entrance of her tomb, a figure appeared slowly rising therefrom, encircled in a halo of celestial brightness, and on fully developing itself turned gently on myself, with looks of inefiable •weetness, aqd to my unspeakable astonishment, lo 1 my mother. Prostrating myself, I gazed ardently and fixedly upon her, as gradually disappearing above the altar, in manner of that beautiful mausoleum, to the late DuchesB of Rutland, in the grounds of Belvoir Castle. Scepticism will without doubt be busy with this item, be it so, there can be none, I suppose, about the following : On Sunday, May 6, , my dear mother, who had been confined some time to her bed, felt so well that she talked of getting up to tea, if not to dinner, and persuaded us, in consequence, to go to church that morning : accordingly my father, her brother, a lady on a visit, and myseu went. From a window that looked directly into our family seat, not being more than four feet from the ground, any one on the outside had a full view of it. Just before the conclusion of service, happening to turn towards this window, I saw my mother looking in very earnestly : I was overjoyed on seeing her sufficiently recovered to come out, being too young to put any other construction upon it, but my father, uncle, and the lady, on seeing her, started and turned pale, and well they might, for on passing out she was gone, and on getting home found that she hsM just expired! An uncle and aunt once undertook a journey to London by easy stages : during the first day tliey aughted at a ITEMS. 221 Tni«g« Inn in Wiltt.» haring scoommodAtion for their •enrftnto and honat, bui none for themlelres, which wm Srooured in the houie of a lady deceased, in oharse of omeitiet. Upon repairing to tneir chamber they heard the ruatling ox tillcs on its atairoaie, aa the door ilowly opening a lady in sables entered, and seating herself op- poeite, gazed placidly upon them. I need not say who this was. Important disclosures followed, succeeoed by equal results. When retiring she exacted secrecy, and, the moon shining brightly, they saw her from their chamber window, commanding the church, enter iti dormitory. Having some property at Richmond, or regni populi, I accepted a last engagement with the Rev. Dr B-- — . For scenery and prospect a charming place to visit, but its expensiveness and arrogance of a mushroom gentry, about the last to select as a residence. Here our first Wire-mill was erected in 1642, and ftrst Calico j^rinting office, 1690, without a restige of either remainmg : its present cheapness arises from machinery, Ainsworth's Factory, Prestop, now producing as many yards per minute as a hand-loom weaver could formerlj^ per week. Our Doctor was of Oxford, (spelt by Froissart in his Ohronicles Acqueasujfortf whose students double those in the six Universities of Leige, Leyden, Utrecht, Lorraine, Ghent, and Qroningen,) the average expenditure of whose students is £300 ; Gambridge £260 ; Dublin £2Q0 ; Dur- ham £160; Edinburgh 100, most of whose officials, in 1688, couldn't write their names — Glasgow 70 ; Aberdeen and St. Andrews £60 per annum. For the convenience of gentlemen of small fortune and others in classical schools, our Universities have half-terms, (or term-trot- ters,) equivalent to whole, provided the reading has been close and steady. Dublin University has ordinarily 2000 names on its books, consequently its Senior Fellows in- come exceeds £1000, and «iunior ones £700 ; it presents to 21 Church livings : its library has been much increased by purchasing the extensive one of Greffier Fagel for £7000.. His divinity was sound ^d orthodox, exordiums ex- cellent, and their delivery graceful. He did occasional duty in the village, but had preferment in Devonshire, andC nnlike Madame, was muen resneptecl Jbodi i^t hpme and abroad. His fpible was ifilling ni> wine cellar before a vacation, which, by the Itelp of stmf>Mr-^y fnendp, was entirely cleared by the end of it : assisted by another such 1 TrmmBi <}tit«t;1ttb^'eai>Ha^e» after 20 yenM of w^fdM^obW^it^fi MMtf." Our Doetor^ft farorite wHs ludiBlra, which reqiureb oaiitlbn in selectioki, else Loiiddn partioul^, the best, will be substituted by €airffo, ite imMffii 6hee ^nl^g'ft loan to a FUnehifl wine Wwer, secured oh fire hotheads of Madeira hi the £oiidoit Dbeldl, r ordered' a tlAii, 6A hi# suddehW IbttiringEnglaiid, bul fdtind th^t he had '^tidpatM nie hi withdrawing, by a fbre^d ingl^meiitj three of said hhds. (L.P.) wist thbiki left Jit^bring €%%6^ t abandoned as not worth the chfurg)^ ofromoTisil';' ieUid so ended myflrst and last inVest- menie ih th^ wine #iijri' "I #k{f'ondi'trtt8tee to a bachelor with j^200 a year; with- ouji a groM e^eit in his )^ket or sd0ond eeat to his back, i^oh' he charged on the thnes and st^te impositibns, Mindtb his own folly athdimpirovidenoe, which eyentually liuMed hint tb a prematnre grate, j^other to whom X #Mi(lsb'tru8teej had bnt'£50a ^^ar, married and ^th thi^ cfhile excused following their example. Inflammatory writers are endeavouring to enlist the sympathies of the public on the subject of church Pews, under the specious plea that they are unseemly, and repugnant to the feelmgs of the poor : their next move, I suppose, will be that our castellated mansions, family country seats, and old manor houses must be forthwith pulled down, because some cottage, small tenement, or Iiovel may chance to be near one or other of them. Ar^ they who erect and endow Churches to be left without seats in them, as this sort of seribbling implies, when always so mindful of providing for their poorer brethren? la no country on earth are this class more kindly treated or provided for than in England, notwithstanding t^ mendacities of party writers — our poor rates alone for their sole use ranging from five to eight millions a year, whilst the bequests and endowments of Corporate bodies and benevolent individuals, for the same purpose, quite equal the larger sum. ! Pews came in with the Reformation, first appearing in conventicles, but) as matter of course, it is from thence that their opponents, as directed again&t us, are to be found, conformably with the ancient Jews, who having jorigioated idolatry themselves, on afterwards discarding it, though only for a season, then slew, or attempted to slay, all those who had followed their example. There Is no direct history on Pews, but a gentleman of fortune collecting sundry publications thereon, presented them to the library of Trinity College, Cambridge, where they maybe consulted: in the public one whereof is also a copy of the Prayer Book as amended by American divines in 1786, and is just the sort of production to be expected from those newly invested with power rushing to exercise it without judgment or discretion. The initials J. H. S. as used in our churches, plebeians in Roman Catholic countries take to stand for In hoe $ig^m, alluding to the cross ; those in Protestant ones believe them to s^aify Jesm hominum Salvatovj referring to the person of the Saviour : the learned, however, difier from them bothj and say they are not initials, but a single word in a; contracted form, representing that of Jesuh i^U^ in OjWi ot^n Jlftnguage ww aneiwtjy Frit^n JAgsu^ ITEMS. 28t and abbreviated Jk$. Words that began, like this, with Je, were then written Jhe, as Jherusalem for Jerusalenii the rerv ancient Litur^ of which Church was published at Lonaon in 1744. In repl> to those who mm ask why we decorate our churches ^ith Evergreens at Ghristmae* I answer— because Laurel is an emblem of peace and con- cord, tfoliy of joy, as are Ivy and Yew of sorrow and' death ; while the unfading verdure of the whole, illustrates the resurrection from the dead, and the endless bloom of immortality. Many persons when speaking of the establishment-^a church is the measure of a nation, and has not therefore the sectarianism of a sect — call it our Catholic and Aposto- lic Church : we don't require because knowing the mean- ing of cathoUe, but object to its use at a juncture like the present, when our enemies are striving their utmost to overwhelm us with evil. It has been so long in the pos« session of Rome without any attempt to disi)0SBes8 h«r of it, that I see no reason why we should begin to make, one now : whilst the page of history remains so stained with its position in the bygone days of persecution^ I can^ not br!ng myself to regard it with anything, like favor oe respect. We are also charged with tendencies to Catho- licism, because the color of our surplice happens to be the Bikiile as theirs — as well might we be accused of this be- cause our doors in their construction bear a symbol of the cross— nevertheless, I must confess that substituting aivhite surplice for the black gown, as is done in many pulpits, is an innovation, considering the befittingness of tMs color to the admonitions we hear there, the lapse of ages and usage of our fathers, that I can in no wise approve. But our deadliest foes and likeliest to do us the greatest harm, are the Newmans and Puseys in our borders, who, with their Tracts and their Acts, if not Jesuits themselves, are' mere tools in the hands of those common disturbers of the christian world, who, as Satan can clothe himself ; in an angel's garb, and quote scripture for his purpose, contrive to procure themselves the reputation of being more learned, more enlightened, more pious, more Be)j&. . denying and more holy than other men. lii « (rttliivmo?" Dissenters have committees for getting up parliamentiury petitions against " Church Extension." tJieir requital for rescinding the Corporation and Test Acts. To see -bow thi^ is received ' even amongst the respectable of their own body, take the following facts : In MiddJesez, Kent, ITEMS. Surrey, and Esiez, nambei ag abore 8,000»000^ and foran. ing tne itronghold of Distent, with 600 oongregationi, yet the whole lignaturei to their said petition! amounted only to 9902 namet 1 Leeds, a sectanan corporation, and sectarian M.P., haying a population of 162,000, sends up Qjpetitions with 680 signatures 1 Their 6 petitions from Manchester and Salford, comprising 363,000 inhabitants, held but 418 1 and 3 others from Birmingham, containing 224,000 citisens, exhibited only 271 1 It turns out, on in- pressing 418 monasteries and 211 nunneries in 1782 ;) whivt the Gommutation Act, which transfers all improre- ments to the land-owner, though but in partial operation, already robs her of £60,000 a year. A partisan writer making some noise shortly since, unblushingly asserted that the revenues of our Church exceeded those of all the christian world, 230,000,000 of whom retain episcopacy, though he must hare known, or ought to if he didn't, those of Spain alone, with nearly TOO Bishops, more than double them. How oiten in my agrarian rambles do I now see a Tillage spire where one was never seen before, sweet and refreshing mementoes to meditative minds; whilst in towns and populous places I come unexpectedly upon others, that hallow their respective neighbourhoods, be- cause leading from this world of contention and bitter- ness to that where the wicked cease from troubling and the weary are at rest, impressively realising that beautiful simile of scripture, ** In the wilderness waters break out, and streams in the desert ; the parched ground shaU become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water." In the schools to the ten New Cnurcnes in Bethnal Green, originating with Mr Cotton, Governor of the Bank, hundreds attend, thereby so changing the character of this hitherto benighted vicinitv, as to form an ample reward to their benevolent originators. Mr Miall, inde- pendent preacher, in his letters, says — ^< does. Wd are constantly told of the chri8tftin'*cliiiiity pervading the Oatholic clergy, and, on that very acddiltt^ ^tj9 them £100,000 to increase their spiritual usefulb^ss^^ take a few examples : Their bishop, McHale; de^t^t^d at a public meeting, thatif it so pleased Mm heifimid place two cow-boys in the representation of MayO.M I>r Higgins, another bishop, educated at St. Okner's by the Granard family, in a late Mullingar repeal speech,' requites them thns^-** To the aristocracy I owe nothing but my unbounded contempt." Dr Murray, their primate, issued an impression of Peter Den's Theology, follows, in^ the detestable moral one of Oscott College, for stimulating their prieistly attacks agaiiist us. Peter Oonway, priest of BallinrobOj was publicly cohyicted of perjury in his foul and false charges of cruelty and murder' to damage the Poor Law : vide Treyelyan's Irish papers. ]bi a late Carlo w election, the priests declared from their altars, that if their favorite candidate were not returned, rirers of blood should flow as broad as the Barrow. Father Tieriney, of Clontibert, anathematised frOm the altar, in Oc^., 1841, thirteen romanists, all substantial farmers, for having a Protestant New Testament in their possession. Father Mahan, at a repeal meeting iti Dubliii, just after our giving £9,000,000 to relieve his starving countrymen, atid seeing many American captains present, said, ** Should any calamity threaten America from the felon hand of England, We who have escaped the famine and pestilence produced by England, will assist her;*' For additional items vide The Times of June 6th and 25th, 1841, and June 27th, 1842. Dr Kailey in London Reco^, and Parliamentary Report on Irish Elections, 1836. « Tax of the Sacred Roman Chancery." a book printed in Rome, specifying charges for pardoning any peculiar sin, has this, **For murdering a layman, seven shillings." ' ' ^ ' ' ■ ' ' '* Without noticing the means by which these facts a^ kept from the public, I cannot forbear asking — if anything commensurate were to escape from our own ranks, would' ' the same ignorance be allowed to prevail, or equal pains taklBn to conceal it. As the learned, pious, and exemplary Bishop Jewell openly declared to the Romanists^ t do as unhesitatingly repeat that I will subscribe to their creed if they can produce one single authority, from Scriptute or antiquity, for any of the false doctrines which l^ey hold and pi^opagate. " *' ^ • * ' ' ^*'^' " ? ^»" *="' '^"' ' Romanists boast of the tttiity in thfeir cMtiWh, but Bishop Hairs Serious Dissuaaiives recapitulates 300 eon^ troYortiiGBqmoiigst papists tbeiqscjiT^, on points of , :l^th fU^ praqtipe, collected |jrom the works o^ ^etlarDune an4 I^ayai^rus, two popish authors. BisWp l3tiU|pgdieojvS "Doctrines of the Cnuirch of Borne/' BarrpW's ''Dis- coui^ea on thie Unity of the Church." jBdgar^ " Vkriationfi of Popery." and &anco White's " Practical Eyidence against Catholicism." contain a hpd;^ of facts on this sub- i^ct, which all the talent and learning of the Church of AOnjLO have not been able to answer: claims abpiii a^ accurate as iUustrated Dutch Bibles, which represent a w;oman as grasping a millstome some ten feet in diameter ,t9, heave upon Abimelech's head. „j A priest in Monaghan made large sums by selling holy water as curative for diseased potatoe fields. The miracles alad prodigies that have always accompanied romanism, such as. the veil before sacred things changing from white tQ a, deep red; blood boiling on tne altar; with that of saints in phials; as St. Magdalene in Province;, St. Lawrence in Avelleno Cathedral ; St. I^antaleone at BesseregUa; St. Janarius at Naple«, "T^.d a lu^idred other Tfr^nderSv are nothing but raiw: /cni ir^re wroughi by m^f^V^s of chemical agency, as show ^ 2)^ l!hompson% Philosophy of Made. .,..., , g Kowabout I adopted the daughter of another from respmbling my mother : I placed her in a seminary near Windsor, and, to secure her comfort and attention, au- Tanced j£300 to her preceptress, intending it as a small dower for herself- In about two years, however, the preceptress failed, and being chosen assignee, I discovered a systematic system of fraud: at a private meeting of the creditors I was requested to pursue my inauiries, Diit neglecting to obtain their vrntten undertaking, tne expense thereof, they declining proceedings, fell eventually on myself, over and above my £300, there being next to nothing for working the commission : whilst the father of the child comforted her under her disappointmei^t* fftd myself for ray loss, by secretly traducing me. , ,.,,.' !j ,Xies are said to have but short legs, and truth vei^ long ones, nevertheless the former has a tongue which moves at, a great rate, doing much mischief be^re detection o'r discovery; but then what does this avail, since, the stab has been already given, and who ever troubles himself aliout healing tne wouiid ? He who undertakes the patronage of another, has a business in hand that he will npt easi^ get through, and drains on his purse that.iio pay- ments will satisfy, so long as he has the ability to make any. 116 TtBMB. Our Freneh muter was the greattt inulfiBr I ever kiunr, bebff of opinion it facilitated his Temaoulur aeoeatl Sir OeorffeBooke capturing some ressels laden with snulf in the S^tnish war of 1702, resorted to many and lue- (^ssftil expedients (for inducing its consumption, hence though taking it didn't originate with him but one of the Medici family, he mainly contributed thereto. A pinch thrown upon the back of a toad or frog soon kills it. He was a man of much information, and author of many useful publicationp : when deroting the night to compotU tion, he overcame sleep by a beverage of strong coffee} but ordinarily drank green tea, of much the same repute in China as dram drimcinff with us, being used only by the dissolute and free-livers. Never eating meat on a monday, he, on that account, called it black monday, but it is so named because a severe hail storm on Easter monday, 1369, destroyed 7000 troops of Edward in.'s besides doing B prodigious deal of other mischief. Ue was a radical, which has many significations both here and abroad, neither of which tend to raise or elevate» proverbially pennyless, and looking to revolution as the sole means of becoming otherwise, after the approved fashion of the new liehts in France, the best of whom are but addle-headed tools for converting the throne into an arm-chair, the reputed invention of an Alderman in Gnpplegate Ward. Our Sunday morning reading was Nelson's Fasts and Festivals, seUmg largely in the time of Dr Johnson, writer of those excellent sermons, published as Dr J. Taylor^s, Prebendary of Westminster. Nelson's work was varied by the Homilies, and Archdeacon Pale/s, whose have done more for the moral improvement of mankind than those of any man ever existing : his eight descendants receive a pension of £26 each, which throw a halo round the pension list of England, called in a curious work thereon prior to Julius CsBsar's invasion, lately found at Benares, and published by the Asiatic Society of Calcutta, the Holy Land, and Stonehenge described as a Grand Hindoo Temple. , The l&te Lord Fitzwilliam residing on the Oreen, lived a perfect recluse, and conversed with no one but his chaplain ; bequeathing his valuable collection of paintings, with £100,000, to build a gallery to Cambridge University. When Sheridan lived in the house next to that handsome one on the hill, which occasioned Oeorge IH. to say, on riding past it for the first time, and hearing 'twas a ourd- ITBXB*; Ml malcei'i, ** TbaA man'K cwrds must all Jhaie tumecl np trunqM/'—- his flons received priyate tuition from mm 4W mir mMtera, whose remuneration eould never be lObtained from tbe father but their mother : in acts of this sort and fiK»lity of making creditors he had no equal. A party of menmws were one day coming down to dine with "ktamt and not a bottle of wine in his cellar : this had scaroel^ been discovered when a dun, (his Richmond wine mer* flhant,) dropt in, whom he soon quieted, b;f msisting thai he diould stay, to meet his party ; »hen paidng off to jhit library, left him there with an apology, rimd hasteniikg down to his house, saw his manadng man» ;and telling him that his master was going to dine with ham to meet a large party, ordered so many dozens of various wines to be sent up instanter, which, well knowing his mastfo'f buiinesB at Sheridan's, -that, from this affair of the invitai* tion, he concluded to be adjusted, was promptly done. It is a very easy matter to raise accusations against another, but not quite so easy, though altogether ifislse, to remove their impression, as some mtent feeUng or de» £aotive spot will be sure to remain : on this account, J have always regarded Sheridan's opening speech, in Hm charges against Warren Hastings, generally quoted as faia masterpiece, in a very different Bght to other people; because he well knew niose charges to be not only growMU less, but got up for party purposes. After his aoqutttal* as an atonement for the part they had been induced to take against him, the East India Company voluntarily ¥Oted Warren Hastings a jjiension of £6000 a year,.and.aa elegant mausoleum at his death in 1818, aged 89 : his memoirs by Gleig rank amongst our best biographies. The catholic chapel here, with adjoining residence im the priest, leading to the Vineyard, erected at anexpeoM of £14,000, by the late Miss Doughty on the Hill,i8, for Hs size, one of the best specimens of its kind that I ever saw amongst us, in France, or on the continent. Bidi« mond — Surreyonians, Sussexonians, and those on the sei^ coMts of Haimpshire, wore anciently called regni popidi**- was a favorite locality with the nobility of the FmuAi revolution. In the last house upon the rights on ascending the Hilly opposite Bishop Duppa's. Almshouses, resided, and I beueve, died, the late Marquis Townseud, who iliten^, in his habits, reversed the order of day and night. W» tenan- *df ' himself with a plentiful meal. During his adversity, he contemplated the character of aTroub^our, on hearing thata perepatetic one frequently collected a pound daily, l>ut his better fortune prevailing, set this aside without, I believe, ever enforcing. Many men would have kept a carriage and saved money from an income that barely supplied him with necessaries : for Thomson was by no means in the habit of eluding obser- yation, like him who could not even drink tea out without the help of stratagem : we have very little chance of see- ing an end of this folly whilst so many simpletons receive it as an evidence of genius. A relative owns a ring once his, which he much values : in ancient Rome every male permitted to assume one was considered a gentle- man ; a word not onlv the most ambiguous in our vocabu- lary, but the custom itself of much the same character. The lower part of Kew gardens run close against that of Thomson's, to which he nad the entr6 : the brick wall which protects that part of thorn bounded by Kew Lane^ long attracted much attention, from a rough outline of ships of war, chalked thereon by a sailoi, now dead, who drew his subsistence therefrom, by the contributions of passengeri ; and, in addition to other gentlemen, always received a guinea from the Duke of Marlborough on passing that way. Our national'air of Rule Britannia — as "Cantus, etc., 1602." Edinburgh, contains the original air of God Save the King — is ascribed to Thomson assisted by Mallet, to whomLord Bolingbroke left his works for giving some hard hits to Pope, who had affronted my lord by printing a surreptitious edition of his Spirit of Patriotism : Pope's Rape of the Lock is borrowed from A. de Villiars Court of Gabalis : the original portrait of his " Man of Ross." (John Kyrle) is now possessed by Mr Palmer, Old Hall, nwt Ross, on the Hereford Road. ITEMS. V&o Mlebnrted Willow dn Pope's Isrni at Twieheiiliai», ]NPei«nt6d by Gatfaerine of RuBua, and said to be the pannt of onr Engliih ones, was d6stro;^ed by some gotfa IB 1801 . The fiUa itself, formerly meaning a rural retreat for wealthy men, but now an ornamental mansion, is, or was the residence of Baroness Howe, who married an osnMst: his house at Binfleld is pulled down, but ita parlor remains part of the present edifice : a fragment d Windsor Forest still bears the name of "Pope's Wood." Ha at one time fancied himself an artist, but failiifg hi his portraits of Dean Swift and Miss Blunt, resigned* good humoredly observing — he had not violated the com- mandment, having avoided that of personifymg any thing either in heaven or on earth. I>r B ^r's library contained a good collection of classics, every copy of which, before the invention of printing, was, in fact, an edition. He had a very elegant Thomas a Kempis, a book that, for 300 years, has been favorably received by all communions. The largest modem libraries are the British Museum, Vienna, Vatican, Florence, I^arisian, and Bodleian, to which Mrs Suther- land, of Merrow, presented her magnificent edition of Clarendon and Burnett's History of his own Times, in sixty one folio volumes, illustrated by 19,223 prints and drawings. The library of Dr Bumey, Greenwich, rector of Dept- ford, and brother to Madame D'Arblay, was purchased hy gorernment on his decease, for £14,000. It was collected m strange, non-biblical, and out-of-the-way places, then differing greatly from what they do now, by the Doctor in his afternoon rambles about London, during the weekly half-holidays of his school at Greenwich. He was a sterling scholar and strict disciplinarian : once, upon the commencement of a vacation, a pupil seeing his father's carriage enter the courtyard to take him home, ran out to greet the servants, without first asking leave : on which the Doctor sent for him, and acquainting himself with the fact, thereupon horsed him for breaking rules. Our fag's fftther dealt in bread made sour by neglect of the sponge, whereof 7000 loaves are bought <&ily in Westminster at 3d. each, and retailed in our working parishes. He was unable to write till 18 ! As I have known adults ignorant of reading, writing, and arithmetic, yet attain them, by evening instruction only, in 12 months, wUlst our youth ordinarily require as many years, bo ITEMS. 245 ih^re miiBt either have been much school craft made use of> or a great deal of time misspent. Properljr, but unconsciously writing **Ue cK«two apples." though as improperly our genitive case ** The boys^dutr." a case somewhat anomalous, thus the bo/s duty, meaning his duty, is correct, but Jane's book, that is, JU«> book, incorrect; 'tis a contraction of es from the Latin of is; its clear exposition, say the candid, a class little estimated in this arrogant ago, is a good deal like explaining a labyrinth, which is a very easy thing to get into, but quite another affair to get out of, originating in Egypt, a country so old that Heroditus, who read his ** Uniyersal Hiaioij." at Athens 440 years B.C., enumerates a list of 330 kings that reigned anterior to Sesostris, who lired abore 1400 years B.O. Also Monger q. d. a man of gere, is equivalent to merchant, ergo Cheese-monger and &o&. monger ; er, being a contraction of the Saxon j>ep0, a man, denote a trade or profession, as Salter is Salt-man, and Tarerner, Tavern-man: discovering that Quis, Quc^ Quod were, in the middle ages, pronounced kis, ke, kod, and learning the true enunciation of Huic,and thnt TeddingtoA the village above us, was a corruption of Tide-end-toum, because the tide flowed no higher, much increased his own height, nearly doubled Keeping without conAision, And am of the Muses from Parnassus sprung : • ' I encounter the valiant in congregations, And beat the courageous, or humble the bold; . ^ Fm the descendant of noble Milesians, ' In the annals of fame my name is enroll'd : I'm noted for dancing a jig in due order, A minuet I'd walk, and foot a good reel; " As for country dances I'm the real barber, ' And never yet faulter'd in cracking the heel. I'd write a good letter on paper or parchment, Or construe an author and give the true sense, i And court a young maiden unknown to her parent. Or thrash any man for her love and defence. , in short I'm counted for qualities famous, In surpassing all ages and every degree, Generous, candid, sweet, modest, facetioui, , . i Well grounded in learning and philosophy. The intemperate habits of this gifted man were his ruin, accelerated by constantly quoting Mr|Riddell, Selkirk, indulging, after 90 years of age, in paroxyisms of drink- ing for a fortnight together, with only a few interyals of sleep in his chair, yet died in 1788 aged 116 years I Nib- bling a potatoe in the street from a yia ** Baked taties all hot. maiif which his necessities often obliged him to do, he called dining out, and a two-penny hop, with buns, where his propensities led him, a ball and supper : hence a purring fight, or mutual agreement to kick and scratch like two tom-cats was a frequent consequence, which breakings up are by no means such pleasant things aa those ofour school-days. f62 ITEMS. He was iQ great request «t tbose lamentatioiiB called a keen, bawl, or howl— what can equal it t there nerer has eiisted any nation save the Irish, whose propensities lead them to carouse and fight over the remains of their dead. He preferred moving stealthily to an object, from per* rersion of Lysippus, son of Eolus, being the first Orecian gaining a victory by stratagem, whidi he maintained to be nothing else in Epaminondas, drawing up his men in solid column so as easily to break the distended line of the foe : reminding me of an unprincipled fag I once had, calling a round bounce safer than a foiu'-comered one, on the principle that a circular bottle is stronger than a square one, because combining the properties of an arch. He is said to have suggested Loan Societies, but with- out wishing to deprive him of the honor of their origin, I may at feast be allowed to marvel at it, since said societies are generally conducted in Gofiee-houses, and he was never known to patronise any but tippling ones. They have proved, as I prognosticated that they would, of questionable utility, besides, the facility of borrowing money always increases the difficulty of returning it, therefore so far from lessening the evil they proposed to prevent, they have unquestionably increased it — applicants to the Insolvent Court alledging they were the cause of bringing them there — simply that the borrower never knew, when he had it, how to take care of his own money, and is it likely he should do better with other peoples. Conversing with an Irish coachman, whose habits had made it unsafe to tiiist the reins, though but 60, any longer in his hands, he admitted that for twenty years his earnings were 30s. weekly, whereof 26. daily, without extras, were spent in lush and bakke ; blaming the times for his necessities. No, I observed, 'tis you who are to blame, for 2s. a day make £730 in 20 years, but if left to accumulate, more than £2000; its interest would have made you independent, leaving the principal for me- morials and inducements to copy you, saying nothing of health or a good name. We hear a great deal about the Cardinal virtues, but a vast deal too little of prudence and economy, without which the labors of the rest are often thrown away. Of all the societies that have been, or can ever be introduced for the benefit of man, the creation of one for inducing him to live within the limits of his income, and therefore pro- viding for the approaches of age, would certainly be the sizpei as s ticket forjfc the the gi bouts Th( not Irish, ITBMSJ ipwatest and beet for imniriiiriti iti fbtindNf woUkd xbt only coidde an ineBtimable bleBsh/g on nianldifd, but W hiued and respected as the benefactor of hit 'Tti6e. ' , fiulliTltn, to procure t|i)6'm^ans for a catousi, pledged snpence at my UncU^a fo^ 3d., haTing it artfully deserwttd' as a piece oi silver plate finely wrouglfat, then sold ikv ticket foi^ 5s. Irish laborers on old buildings are noted" for /wKin^ amongst the rubbiish some aWcient coin (frotff' the JSfntmtm^em mint) which they sell at a great profit; the gains th\a Jwnettly acquired they spend in diluiik^tt' bouts and reward with broken heads. Their tutelar ijaint, by the way, was a Welchman, aiid^' not less marvellous, a gentleman, who, on contertinj^ thii' Irish, explained the Trinity by exhibiting a tl^ee-leated'^ grass, with one stalk, of which the shamrock, wohi on St. Patrick's day, is a tuft: (unnoticed, to tiie best of mT^ recollection, in Goglon's work of 1647, forminjd:' 3 yolMi' folio in Latin, and containing the lives of many hiindi'edbl'^ of their saints, whose costume at least is far less objectioti^' able than that of the petticoated priests in Montreal. S Sullivan's great grandfathei: was the veritable grenadier in the renowned tall regiment of Frederic William, o^' Prussia, mentioned in his memoirs as costing him nearl;f^ £1300 : Frederic latterly omitted the first r in his name; ' signing himself Federic, induced thereto by Voltaire, whd" was remarkable for this piece of affectation — ^throwinif ' aside the man and adopting the animal is a feature nOt - uncommon amoiigst his countrymen generally. Strolling in that elysium of the unwashed Gominerdlii'' Road, East, I perceived a beer shop, kept by one Wilnehj,^' uniting therewith the business of an undeiiakerl indii'' cated by the emblems of mortality decorating the ilk-*' terior and exterior of his tap. A more extraordinai^-' union can hardly be imagined^ but if we take into c(^n- sideration the too common fate of those freqnentine; su<^'' places, not an inappropriate though, it must be coniessed^^ anything but an inviting one. I was equally astonished'' on seeing the infatuated Sullivan come out of it witl^' s ' basket of shrimps on his arm 1 even this, degrading^. |tr' was, might have done, as he sold a gallon daily, a.fmt^-*'^ ihg 3s. profit, but his inordinate thint marr'd all, eallihi*'' on me for a quart of porter and sundries before sepahL^' ing^ interspersed with the coarse laiiiguage of his 'n^W"^ occupation, gleaned from " Tongue coim>at in the tilt bdiMii^ of Gravesend.'^ remarkable for the flewert bf BilUiUi|^^ oratory^ 9M ITBMS. N^rly the only Irish ansistant I erer knew of may ^ w^rrioxswore ulso common |tppei;4ftfl[«8;to hv^iAnaies ; pp. burying the vlain aftor th9 Vwttlo of ^aterloo, mftnyParisiian girls :vreris fomid ^efui hy^^e Bi4e of their lorers. The will of this man may 9fi,^en, in French and i^nglish» at Poctors Commons, registered there^ hy Count Montholin, Aug. 3, 1824. lie WAS not leets a, fatalist than Cromwell attamied. to conjur- ing, who, from recent proofs in the Exchequer, was at one time cupbearer to the king, and another in the service of Charles I. when Prince of Wales. Sir T. Baker gaye j£53 for an old copy of Yolney's Buins, because a fly }ei^ contained halt a dozen lines.on the Pyramids of Egypt, py Buonaparte, in his own uuinteUigiple scrawl; which large price, for an autograph that nobody can read, the auctioneer (Sotneby) kept up by obtainmg £270 for a bundle of, old letters from Elizabeth's to James U.'s time, wJnch were next impossible to decipher. The soil of France, including rent, produces £80,000,000 yearly, whi^t the registered amount of mortgages thereon 18 £660,000,000 ! paying from 10 to 12, but never less than 6 per cent., which, at the lowest calculation, can- not be less than £30,000,000 ; add thereto £20,000,000 itKc taxes and duties,' and there remains but £30,000,000 ior profit and subsistence, averaging £1 per head ! These are the effects of revolution, extraoniinary claims to enlightenment, and contemning <' The Lord of all power i^d might." She holds out a warning to the world for having tried, in every shape and form, those enlightened tikaoriea now visiting our earth as the pestilence and wliirl- wind— and what has been her ^ain ? — ruin and decay—* besides appearing contemptible in the eyes of all Europe. Keel — related to the late Miss Daw, of Knightsbridge, who, with Mrs Ijangford, originated preparatory schools — ejaculated, when perplexed, BuscwdtumbleV'S. He was at one time polisher to a Varnisber, which yielded him £2 weekly and his employer £6. Fashion, at best a mQ8>i> whimsical body, formerly patronised varnished breakfast and dinner tables, chairs, sofas, .tea boards, and knife trays, wMch were spoiled by the slightest blow or fracture, besides giving those articles the tawdry and garish cha- racter of Moorfields' furniture— now substituted, thoui^ b^ no means improved, by the French polish, but there is no polish like elbow grease, or the baize and rubber of olir fathers : 'tis now confined to Tunbrldge ware, toy 0> and.nioknaokn. ITEMS. S57 He scorned short words, and the nsttal way of uttering long ones, videlicet, " When a conflaguration happens in France, they don't cry, as we do, _/lre, but I'eau (water)." He Tulgarlsed oblige into obleedje, and, on reproval, quoted Walker, who, I observed, says, «* The plural of Pea, when signifying number, is peas, but if quantity, (he was Irish,) then pease !" Peas wnen m the pod, but pease if dried or split. Manual. And much attacned to the infantism of Ampusand, corruption of And, per se, and: an ancient alphabet in the Harlean Library ends thus — " X. Y. vythe esed and per se — Amen." He cut his own hair, cleaned his boots and shoes, for servants gashed them in scraping the dirt, and, to preserve the nap, never brushed his haf or apparel, but switched, and finished with his handker- ehief ; in these matters therefore economising largely. Honce his common saying — ^he who cleans his own shoes is careful how he soils them : his other, figurative of a wet day — A man walking down Cheapside with his head under his arm and a hackney coach hanging out of his pocket. He possessed most distOiided nostrils and very thick lips, modestly observing he never know a person of strong intellect with small or thin of either ; according to this dictum what prodigies blacks and negroes must be ! And translated Dilemma, a want of change for sixpence, but more properly the want of that sixpence to get changed, a medley to the full as unique as the composition, in Latin, of Prince Silo's epitaph on his tomb in Oviedo, Spain, which may be read 270 different ways. He acquired property by the death of Mr Hinckley, of Grey's Inn, who, supposed to be in the country, was found in his chamber, Dec. 3, 1814, almost consumed by flies. Keel greatly admired Washington, whose farewell ad- dress, in the original manuscript, brought by auction at Philadelphia, in Feb. 1850, $2300, whilst a copy there- from printed in a then patriot paper reached $160, and an autograph letter recommending the promotion of a meritorious officer, several hundred more. This tutor waa a chapel-goer, not in itj ordinary sense, but — ^hear him : " I am regular during vake (vacation) in my Church and Chapel duties: I spend half an hour before six every week day in Wesley s morning chapel, and the evenings either at the Tabernacle, Holywell Mount, Horsley Down, or Fetter Lane chapels, and on thursday night, in the City chapel, attending the famous Mr Huntingdon, and at seven on Sunday mornings in Spafield's chapel, or London Wall ditto, else a Tobacconist's in the borough, ITBHS. Ibr Mr Cooper'i d«liT«rMi^ Freaehw 4o ih* Jews* I tfwn linoa]c£ut «t the nearoti GoffiM4iou9« to Zion dia^U iHiioh finishes m time for a Bermon at Whitochapel Ofauroh. Bjr two o'clock I am either at the restry of Wesley'B to a£tead leeturet» or « domicile for the exordiums of deront iriaten : thence I nroceed to Barbican chapel, and on eon^ ehtsion repair to Oripplegate Church, for the homilly and dozology : after tea I depart on my evening rounds. Hy first is Mutton Hill, here see its ten oandlos lighted, mA oount twenty-two people, then adjoam to Leather Lane tdJMrnacle, where hearing a hymn, seek a Nicodemus' ■eat at Ely Place Episcopal ; after first service I repair to tba New Jerusalem Temple, Hatton Garden, for an ora* tion, and, when over, for a sermon at tho Foundling." The result of hunting after new faiths and strange doctrines upon two gentlemen that I formerly knew, waa — one it l^t without any religion at all, and sent the otiier to a lunatic asylum. After Keel came Mr. Oooke, losing his fortune by en- trusting it to friends, proving their right to that distinc* tion, by keeping it themselves and then deserting him ; whom the world cap-a-pied, but despised the loser, its •forage amount of pity for the unfortunate. To think of improving others by pecuniary obligation, is like attempt- iiM; court-hand with an imslit pen, or tho ornamental with ft leaden one. As those amongst Yankees subsisting by deeeiving others are reckoned mtart men, so he who hai been swmdled is, too often, amongst ourselves, the sub- ject of derision, whilst the swindler is considered a very elever fellow : thus on stating his case in a police court, the magistrate uniformly observes, " You ought to have known better than be so easily cheated.'' which is so like encouraging the deceiver at the expense of the deceived, that, for my own part, I hardly know the difference. 'Tis a very easy matter for a man enjoying a regular and sufficient income, to tell another who has neither, and therefore obliged to run many risks, and encounter as many hazards, what he should or ou^ht not to do, but on ehanging situations with him, I am ot opinion that he will find his advice quite of another character. How many criminals arraigned in our courts, whose deeds entitle them to the hullu or a halter, now, by a per.> reroion of justice through some quibble or subtlety, re- eeive neiUier, but virtuaJly approbation that sends them chuckling to their various cells, and thence to re-enact •ad glory in their shame. Such is the pi'esent unmea- ITEMS. 9M9 minA tendemoM for yagabondf and law-breaken, ihai ereiy tSort is now making for oonrerting our prisons into palaoes, and the jibbet itself, if not a post of honor, tiha stake at least of martyrdom. Those who had plundered Mr Cooke were ever, as a mask to their designs^ prating aibout honor, which suggests an anecdote. Sauntering one day through a bye street in London, I obsen'ed two lads, one a chimney sweep, the other aa errand boy, engaged in a game of Pitch in the hole : whilst WAtcbing them a knife fell unseen from the pvocket of th« latter, which the former snatching up lodged in his own« Presently the loser disooyering his loss, turned to his companion and taxed him with taking it : "I wish I may die if I did," was his answer. This being unsatisfactory, he persisted in his charge, and the other in denying il : at length muttering, « K you'll say upon your honor you hayn't it, I'll belieye you.*' " That I wont do," reijoined the chimney sweep, " for touch my honor, touch my life," and so saying threw down the knife. Willingly or knowingly Cooke neyer injured others, but did others follow his example ? No — ^for, contrarily, on such as him their eyil deeds uniformly fall, fruits of the eoBpedient code now troubling society as tempests do the sea, which, if not speedily suppressed, will produce con- sequences that all, when too late, must lament and de- Elore One of these friends obtained a large sum from im on some biblical rarities, which subsequently preying to be acquired dishonestly, he got back again (handing Mr C an I. 0. U. for their amount) under pretext ca returning to the owner, and so staying proceeoings, but instead he priyily resold and kept the proceeds. Mean- while charging a confederate with the offence, he was put on his trial, but which the Judge yery soon stopt, and dis^ missed him with, " The prosecutor ought to change places with you." He dishonored his I. O. U^ and threatened Mr Cooke if he attempted to enforce payment, that he would accuse him as a particips criminis which, from the inany proofs I haye already giyen, there can be no doubt our discerning public would haye belieyed. This I. O. U. trickster was finally reduced to oadding in a Cotton Factory, which reminds me that for the Cot- ton interest aur farmers haye been ruined, under the plea that they form the smaller body of the two, which indue ing me to inyestigate the matter produced the following results: — The capital inyested in land amounts to one thousand seyen hundred millions sterling i farmers ca* 280 ITEMS. pital, fixed and floating, three hundred and forty millioni, lorining the prodigious sum of two thousand and forty millions 1 The capital invested m Cotton manufactura is helow forty millions : the annual produce of the former ii three hundred millions, and of the latter less than fifty three millions. The produce of agriculture is one hun- dred and tifty millions a year more than all the manufac- tures in the kingdom, whoso united capitals do not exceed one hundred millions sterling. The num^or of persona engaged in agriculture is 3,353,419, of those in Gotten 300,000, and every other manufacture 1,524,126, making 1,824,125, giving agriculture a surplus over manufacture! of 1,529,294. This can be no very welcome information to thoscwho, by false and mystified reports,* have so abused the public credulity, and must astonish that por- tion of them which they have thus so wilfully misled. The healthful and moral tendencies of the one occupa- tion over the other, are to the full as superior as their productiveness, which every manufacturing town and operative district incontestably establishes. Land and Cotton are two of our most valuable interests, and if I exclude Wool and Hardware on the one hand, let it bo remembered that I say nothing about Mines and Quarries on the other. Mr Cooke — descended from Lilly, the Grammarian, whose son George (1520) drew the first exact map of England — was educated at the Blue Coat School, noted for sending so many men of ability and worth into the world. After leaving, he came unexpectedly into an independent fortune, of which he was deprived as before shown. The Rev. W. Hetherington's legacy of £10, everjr Christmas, to each of 600 applicants that are blind ! is paid at this foundation. I can neve'* meet a blue-coat boy without feelings of respect, from a friend formerly knowing one who, by his winnings at their juvenile games, supported an aged and widowed mother. Filial affection is not less delightful in the estimation of man than it is also acceptable in the sight of God — it never goes unre- warded in this life, and is sure of being amply so in that which is to come. When I had got thus far, the following hint was sug- gested to me in a night dream, which, as there appears to * Remonstrating with the oflScial of a certain daily paid for spreading these delasions, on the large amouut of fabrication encircling his article* of any public interest, he very coolly replied, <'Pooh ! it sells the paper !" ITBM8. Ml / ,' be ft good de^l of tmth in it, I oommunicate for the l;>eaeflt of the reader : ^Pip I to thee, Mr Anonymous, when wilt thou hare done with these scribbling ? To which he replies nieekly-> Sit,thee down in thy easy chair, on a cool winter's ere, best 'friend of scribblers, in a comfortable right angle of a olear and bright blaze, and if thou takest snuff, or delightest in a whiff, withdraw a pinch from thy box and convey it to its post — sneeze — clear the wav — so : or All thy pipe — blow a cloud — hem — stride thy hobby of youth : ruminate — recollect thy roguish pranks— and — but per- a^Tenture thou dost not soil thy nasal organ with one, ppr thy oral with the other? it matters not — compose Myself— pile thv legs, look steadily in the fire — fancy thou seest thy boyish days : cross thy forehead — remember this — recount that — Bring to thy recollection how thou onqe — prvthee refresh thy memory — how thou divers tiipes and oft found thyself in an orchard — ^relate some- thing of a — but softly, I see thee smile— thv hobby is just on the trot — ^thou art plainly overtaken by pleasurable emotions — inwardly chuckling, openly delighted. Oonsider the feeling, not to bo described, when narrat- ing the feats of thv earlier years, and then thou wilt not utter another word on the garrulity in my own, or those in which I have had any share, nevertheless the small amount which follows will show that thy remark has not been thrown away. It is said that Captain Cook, a relative of Mr C — --, l^ad iiio uionument, yrhen a very beautiful one stands in the Church of St. Andrew the Groat, Cornwall, (but his Almshouses in the Mile-end Road, London, are far more imperishable,) also enclosing his three sons, and widoWt dymg in 1835, aged 94, intimate with Mrs Taylor, authresB of a clever work on navigation, and having sea captainft of sixty as pupils. Mr C— — visited the sepulchre of our I^ord, which Adrian excirpated with every vestige of Juda,ism and Christianity, but the Empress Helena, aided by the priests, set up new remains, which, in 615, were again destroyed by Chosroes, King of Persia. About 1043 these relics were a second time restored and shoym ap the original. During the Holy War they were re- peatedly demolished, but as their exhibition produced g^e^ profits, were quickly rebuilt. In this way^ does iipiposture trafi^ ^ 'th credulity. This war continumg 149 yeiurs immolated forty millions of men : for time, blifOdi afid tzief^ure, the most oostjly on record. Ma ITEMB. Am religioui wan about opinloni now unintelligible hate eoit tho lives of millioni, there are two things wfaicbi through life, I hare made it my constant endeavour to avoid — discussion on controversial theology, and the perusal of medical publications, since the former, saying nothing of intolerance, has created many faitlis, and the latter, without including broken constitutions, sent num- bers to the tomb. Mr Coolce passed through Egypt, elevated 42 feet, since the deluge, by overflowings of the Nile : its title of Khan has, for this country, the comfortable privilege- that he cun't bo decapitated by tho Grand Seignor, whOy in war time, has the ensignia of seven horse-tails, and his Orand Vizier Ave, though ordinarily but throe, the highest rank of Turkish nobility : originating thus — Loosing all their ensigns in an ancient battle, their commander fastening a horse-tail to the end of his lance, rallied hit troops to the charge and conquered. Ho toiled up Mount Etna, or dark and smoky as a furnace, .SO miles from its base to th4 summit, two others in perpendicular eleva- tion, its largest crater 10 more in circumference, and the surface of tho whole 1000 square miles, nearly quadrupl- ing the Alps : finally examining those works of nature and art more abuntlant on the right than left bank of the Rhine, which sides of a river are those next the right and left hand on turning vour back to its source. This tutor — who hold that you may as well attempt to hold communion with the unlicked cubs of a Greenland bear as to think of reforming bigotry by argument or reason — seldom noticed any other subject of a scholastic nature than the condemnation of those lexicographers who jumble I and J, with U and V, promiscuously together in their dictionaries, instead of assigning each, as thev ought, its own distinctive place, which would save much trouble and loss of time in turning out. His vacations were usually spent with an old friend in London, reduced from his carriage to humble lodgings, who was his laundress, tailor, and leatherer, usually passing an hour together weekly at the abode of another midway between town, and to whose remaining property he sue-- ceeded at his death shortly since. Devoted to sacred music, he often attended the Oratorios, ex orare, to pray, during Lent, he and I going by the five o'clock coach, and, on conclusion, trudged home afoot, quietly admitted by fag. He was a great admirer of old magazines, in many points superior to new : his foUo of Chaucer, 1598, had a t: ITEMS. MS table for explaining hit old and obscure wordi ; if the original stood in need of this at that time, no wonder it should be unintelligible now : the lodgings of his friend were stored with those of eminence in the usual walks of literature; once possessing, without knowing its value, Oaxton's Rocuyel, etc., since fetching £1060 at v<\uction 1 a perfect copy of this flrst book printed in England hat 778 pages, though many have notnin^ like that number : it is without printers signatures, initial capital letters, catch words of any kind, or figures to the leaves or pages. The portraits extant of Caxton are not his but borrowed from that of Burchiell's, in a book of Tuscan poetry of 1664, of itself apocryphal from another printed at Venice in 1661. Our mathematical master was a bibliomanist on the mys- tic and unrevoalod, especially Paracelsus, appearing here in 1678, and an extraordinary 4to M.S., with Valentine's alike extraordinary book of " Natural and Supernatural Things." flourishing at Erfurt in the fifteenth century, and the discoverer of Antimony. Prince Qeber, circa 700, of Arabia, was its earliest proficient, involving 800 publica- tions : the Burmese attribute the superiority of European* to their belief that thoy have discovered this secret of which they are themselves in search. Conjointly with another he had a lone house on a neighbouring heath that they might pursue this unobtrusively as a science, the ramifications of which are all absorbed, by scofiera, in the sordid of lucre. Like the celebrated alchemist Flammel, of France, in the fourteenth century, who spent above £1,000,000 in building and endowing churches, hospitals, and religious foundations, all remaining to this day; they possessed unlimited means for doing good, which were dispensed with a liberal but secret hand : two instances will suffice — In an evening stroll through Ham adjoining Bichmond, taking shelter from a shower under the poron of a cottage inhabited by a widow and her daughter, they overheard the latter lament the want of a Piano, that she might thereby soothe the afiliction and infirmities of her parent : soon after a superior one, with a supply of music and accompaniments, arrived from London at the cottage, as a present from an unknown quarter. On reading Paracelsus in their room, I discovered a £60 note between the leaves, which, on presenting, they called a deodand, and forwarded anonymously to a Pro- vincial Church Building Society, observing — We know not ft more enviable state of existence than that of tiiie 9941 ITBMS. oM EnffUih gentlenuui UtIii^ his worth and rirtues. Next to him is the clet^ifittai^ with an inoonve sufficient for his own wants and admrniftevft log to the necessities of hits poorer brethren, whUst Ieadin|( them the way to contentment and their God. The woris niost charitable and benevolent, but conveyed through a chem- nel that baffled all inquiry. His personal appearance, as the rest of the members, is plain and simple, and, at their public devotions, never enter a pew, but take their stand amongst the humble and lowly, like the late W. Yemor, Esq., a retired merchant of Old Broad Street. The world md themselves being altogether dissimilar, though rejoicing at their good deeds, but mourning over their evil ones, they are desirous of avoiding its notice and attention, which, by constantly appearing in an unassuming exterior, they find no difficulty m accomplishing. Reader, if thou canst not follow these men in what concerns a hereafter, shun at least that of a censorious world, which loads them with obloquy, because admir- ing a science ^o hidden from mankind — ^like the eight letters in the Greek Alphabet, and six others in tho Hebrew, making Latelnos and Bomith each denoting the mystical number of 6b6 in the Revelations, or the/orwn' ovale of the heart, rendering its possessor insensible to suffocation — that not one in a million has yet succeeded in penetrating its depths-^but go thy way in peace and sin not. My last paragraphs will, without doubt, surprise the reader, but I would call his attention to the following facts : Dr Hermstadt by coniingling platina in a certain I respected t6t le clvt^pAtski id adniriiiitel*^ vrhilst leiAdiiil' Thewotldi sttperfidallir; it pelf which of'oldj'wfaostf mtgh.) ted litgeltia lamber of aft' e Bank; {orii 3art,) that he' «h h« loted. plianoes thai' uikiB froEQ hii >i'e8s spidcndaF> specially the the membeini If; TT-^s moBt ough a cluui. >pearance) as , and, at thehr :e their stand e W. Vemor, >. The world »ugh rejoicing >ir evil ones, nd attention, ning exterior, men in what a censorious :auBe admir- ke the eight hers in the denoting the )r the /arum insensible to et succeeded Q peace and suiprJse the be following in acertait). ITEMS. 265 numbor of parts, with a smaller of copper and one only of sine, equally virgin of their kind, obtained an artificial gold equalling the genuine in gravity, density and duoti- bility. Pseudo Ingots of the precious metal, which is simply Argent Yire or Quicksilver coagulated by the force of sulphur, that resist every test, have so often de- ceived London mone^ lenders, that they will no longer advance on bullion in that form. Vide also A. 7 — the individual here noticed has since departed this life, and though he obtained his secret in a way that did him no honor, he made all the atonement in his power by bury- ing it with himself. A foundation being thus known to have been found, is it therefore impossible to rear the superstructure ? The leading operation requires 167 days, but such are the difficulties of this extraordinary science, that the slightest inadvertence at the climax will suxfily destroy the whole : over and above which, he that approaches it with selfish and sordid motives, had better let it alone, as 'tis next impossible he will ever succeed; those few Bossecrusians tnat have, headed by Gompte Ohazel, the most successful, learned, devout, and esteemed, dying in the Mauritius 1795, (whither he had fled to escape the horrors of the French Revolution,) whose deeds and acts are in my possession, had not a particle of that nature in their whole composition. " I do affirm that Alchemy or the transmutation of the lesser metals into the greater of gold and silver, is not a vain dreaming dotage, or an opinion void of reason, but is the very truth itself, and confirmed by many experi- ments." says Rudolph Glauber, approved by Lord Bacon, Sir Isaac Newton and Uncle, Drs Backstrom, Starkey, Salmon, Radel and Borrichius, to which a long and illustrious list of other names might be added ; whilst in our Abbey of Westminster, divers internal allegorical symbols thereof appear, which its superiors anciently pursued and regarded with so much reverence as fitted only for the pure, the good, and the wise : admissions, I conceive, quite as marvellous as the science itself in the opinion of sceptics, a society introduced by Pyrrho, the Greek philosopher, 300 years B.C., who maintained that there* was nothing true or false, right or wrong, honest or dishonest, just or unjust, and th^t unceitainty and doubt belong to every thing. This perpetual search after truth without ever finding it, obtained for the society the name of sceptic?.. - . w ».«• 266 ITEMS. The ruling passion strong in death, applying mentally as in every thing else, prepares, or ought to prepare us for its so often lacking judgment and discretion, which may grieve but should not surprise us. My last voyage outward was so dangerous and tempestuous, that even the seamen declared, if they got safe ashore, they would go no more to sea. The steerage passengers (100) at- tended our sabbath invitation to divine service in tho cabin, by an exemplary clergyman, now increasing his Master's fold in Canada : the pathos and subdued har- mony of our choir on giving that beautiful hymn — God moTes in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform, He plants his footsteps in the deep, And rides upon the storm. formed a soothing and impressive contrast to the wild roar of the raging elements, lifting the soul to heaven and communion with the bless'd. These passengers, however, on finding we were episcopalians, whilst they were seceders, would not again join us in public worship, yet, being of various denominations themselves, had none at all of their own. If the ruling passion could control at so perilous a juncture as this, ought we to marvel that it should do so in the more tranquil scenes of life. s Telos. lentally pare us , which voyage at even f would 00) at- in tho ling his ed har- he wild heaven iengers, St they worship, id none control marvel flife. Errata. — In page 2, line 1, for country, read County. In page 135, line 38, for — The Hagiographical books of Mosea and the Prophefs — read-— The Hagiographical books of the Old Testament — (which exclude Uiose of Moses and the Prophets.) \ ^^