IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) i^- 'v. ^ A y. ^ 4a 1.0 I.I ^ 1^ 12.0 ^5 III 1.4 1.8 1.6 <^ /^ ^;j cj;^ Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, NY. 14580 (716) 872-4503 iV (V ACADIA COLLEGE LIBRARY,' WOLFVILLE. N.3. District of Massachusetts, to wit : BE it Remembered, that on the eighteenth rl^y of December, in the thirtieth year of the Independence of the United States of America, Hayden & Shead, of the said District, have de- posited in this Office the Title of a Book, the Right whereof they claim as Proprietors, in the following words, to loit : '^The Life and Journal of the Rev. Mr, HEJ^RY ALLIKE^ In conformity to the Act of Congress of the Unied States, en- titled «• An Act for the encouragement of Learning, by securing the Copies of Maps, Charts and Books, to the Authors and Pro- prietors of such Copies during the time therein mentioned : and extending the Benefits thereof to the arts of Designing, Engrav- ing, and Etching Historical and other Prints." N. GOODALE, Clerk of the District of Massachusetts* A true copy . i )) . i )) i.>>t«. .(< ii » » i )i' ' H i ! >) ■ » >) ■ ^[ THE Rlv. Mb. henry ALLINE'S LIFE, &c. ■ c HRIST is tlie fountain of life, the source of happiness, the ^lory of anjijelic reahiis, and the triumph of Saints, and 1 trust is the life of my soul, the joy of my life, my present and everlasting portion. I therefore desire^ and intend by his grace that his name should be my theme, until the last peinod of my days. And O may his blessed Spirit be breathed into all my endeavours, may his love sweeten all my trials, invigorate all my labours ; may his name fill up every period of my life, when in private, and every sentence, when in public : and hoping that he will cause me to write and leave amongst the rest of my writ- ings this short account of my life. And as that is my de- sign, I shall not overburden the reader with a relation of many passages that would be of no benefit, but shall only relate that, which may be worth the readers perusal. i WAS born in Newport, in the government of Rhode- Island, in North America, on the 14th day of June, 1748, of William and Rebecca Alline, who were born and brought up in Boston, who gave me an early instruction in the prin- ciples of the christian religion. I was early sent to school, and was something forward in leaniing ; was very early moved upon by the spirit of God, though I knew not then what ailed me. The first moving I remember was, when about eigh^t ^£axs_o£ag;e, by some discourse between my father and mt eldest sister, in a thunder-storm, when I heard her say. that she had reason to be so distressed, thiU if she :should \V-f^HqSfe^-§-^ 4 RKV. HENRY AM.INF^S be killed with the iightninj^, as many had been, she sliould ^-•o right to hell. I heard the words, and they struck mc to the heart, thinkin,!; within myself, what that could mean, and sayinj^ to myselt, what is that hell, 1 hep^an to recollect v/hat I had been tau^ijht al)out hell ; wiiich before I had thought no more of, than to repeat the words, as they were taiijjht me : and as 1 thus pondered (thouj^h so youn^) 1 beg:an to ha\ j horrible conceptions of that place, and often said to myself, what, is my sisterRebeixa p;oing the-e : what, is she r^oing to hell ? This distressed my soul to tliat de- gree, that I went to bed, and began to cry, and to pray to some great God, which I began to conceive of ; for 1 had before thought no more of prayer, though I was taught (and my father prayed in his family every night and morn- ing) to repeat a number of words, as I did my lesson at school ; but I now began to think there was a heaven and hell ; that there was a God, who was such a hard htartcd and cruel beiag, that there was need of praying a grent deal, to get h.m pleased, and get his favour, and did not wonder, that my fatiier prayed so much ; I thought if he had not prayed so much, we should all be sent to hell. I NOW used to pray at every opportunity, even while I was walking along, when going to school, or elsewhere, that this angry God would not send me to hell. 1 used likewise to pray for my relations, that they might be all fived. I would sometimes give way to play and vanity with my play-mates, and then I would think that God was more angry than ever, and so I would pray and confess, and promise to make it up. 1 NOW began to examine and study what I read, J^nd what I was taught in my catechism, that Ada.n had rebel- It d, and that all the world must be sent to hell and be pun- ished with all that could b j inflicted on them for that sin, excepting here and there one, that Got 4 X. T » I ii ' t ^ I' LIFE ANB JOURNAL. 5 and then 1 would tremble, sometimes expecting he would send me ' ^imediately to hell, for charging him with it in my mind, tmd yet 1 could not liclp it, for 1 was still obliged to think so. Thus I was led to think of God as bad as of the devil by that blasphemous doctrine, that God decreed or forc-ordained whatsoever comes to pass, and consequent- ly the death and damnation of the greatest part of the world, and yet made them an offer of salvation, when there is none for them ; and thus they make him a dissembler, and charge him with hype jrisy ; offering to a poor soul, that which he doth not design he should have. Why will they dress up a loving, good (yea all good) and glorious Being, in such a black and ridiculous habit ? Why will they drive poor bewildered souls to hell with not only such shocking blas'^nemous thoughts of God, but like- wise despairing of any mercy from him ? Why do they not" let God speak for himself, when he swears by himself, that he has no pleasure in the deatii of the wicked? Why do they not let sinners know, that he has said, that it is not his will that any should perish, but all should come to the knowledge of the truth, and trust that whosoever will, may come ? And instead of telling sinners that God will damn them and send them to hell, if they live in their sins, why do they not tell them that they are already under the curse of a hellish nature by their own sin, which they acted in Adam, and those that reject salvation and love darkness rather than light, they make their own hell, and go to their own place, and that thttir own nature wHl torment them and be at such an enmity and rage against God, as will ex- clude them from all possibility of ever receiving help by the love and mercy of God, for there is nothing they so much, hate and will so much rage against, as the love, goodness and purity of God. I STILL remained distressed in mind a great part of my time, and though my plays often led me away for hours, yet I was not happy in them ; for I thought myself in great danger, and often, whe nwriting at school, would so ponder on my miserable condition, that I could scarcely keep my distress concealed. O the unhappy hours I wad- ed through, and knew not what to do, neither did I reveal my mind to any one. I would often go up in the garreti where I could see the burying place; and many younger ^:l^: i> a A 2 REV. HENRY ALl.INE b ( > c}»ildren, tlian I \vas, carried there, and thought 1 >voiiiiI give all the world, if I knew where they were fjone ; and would cry as it my heart would break, and pray to this un- known Being, that he would not send nie to hell, and tliiit 1 might not die, until I knew how to prepare for death ; for I thought there was something to be done, which I could do, when I was grown up. I still felt a continual fear, that I might die ; and if 1 should, O the thoughts where I should awake. 1 offen in my heart felt angry with old A dam, and thought he was very faolish, and ought to have punishment for ruining himself and all his posterity only for tiie sake of a few apples, or some other sort of fruit, as I thought, yea and many, many professed christians do think still, that the trees of that paradise were corporeal. When I was about nine years of age, I be|}^an to read much in the books that I could understand, and studied much to find out how to get in favour with the great invisi- ble God. 1 went to meeting almost every Sabbath and some would tell me about the stars, and great things that God had made, and others the necessity of externals, and being moral, &:c. but I do not remember that ever 1 heard anv one of them adapt their discourse to the capacity of chil- dren, and tell them in plain words, that they must be born again by the spirit of God, and that tlicy must feel and know this new birth each one for himselfi Indeed, I suppose, that if the minister in many churches and socie- ties was to leave his old town, or old paper that he is read- ing, and begin with the young people and children, asking them what they knew of conversion and impress the im- mediate necessity of the knowledge of the spirit of God in their souls, it would be so new, that the people would start and stare, as if the man v^as nmning wild. O what a curse are such poor formal blind leaders I Lord have mercy on them, and open their eyes, and save the poor souls, that they are leading to perdition, before they are gone beyond recovery. When I was abou t jen^ -t had got something of a theo- ry of religion, but it di^rnot satisfy me ; I was much afraid of being called away hy death, and O the distressing thoughts I had of dying and going I knew not where ; yea I was so afraid of death, that whenever I felt any pains in my body, I would tremble, thinking it was some disorder, that would carry nxe off j and whenever 1 went a swim- -•'K # i7'\ ( > tlir. ANT) JoLRVAL. :^ :/ ^\\ iniiif^ wit!\ my niLvtcs, 1 wovM pray, tl.ut I inij^^ht not Ix- drowned ; and almost every nii-Ut I went to my bed, I vafi afraid I should die, because 1 could not die praying. In the year 1760, my parents (after a lonj»; consulta- tion) concluded to move to Nova-Scotia ; this filled me >vith hope and fear : 1 had great desires to live in tlie coun- try ; 1 thought there were many things in the country to amuse me, and make me happy, tliat there were not in a town ; and 1 thought myself \veari<:d with every thin^ that the town afforded me ; but still 1 hud t»v.> tilings that i greatly feared in going ; the one was the danj^erof the sea, the other was the fear of the Indians in that country. How- ever upon the whole I rather chose to go thaii stay, and though wu had a long passage, wc were carried safe into Nova-Scotia, my parents with seven children .^ I was novr for a short time pleased with the country ; 1 thought I should enjoy happy days, Init alas my joys luid hopes were soon eclipsed, when it was frequently reported, that the In- dians were about rising to destroy us j and many came out among us with their laces painted, aiul declared that the English should not settle this country. Anel now I was more uneasy then ever. I did not think n\yself fit to die, and expected to be killed. 1 was so distressed, that I have laid awake manv and mativ an hour, sometimes almost all night listening, and oiten thought, when 1 heard the dog bark, or the cattle walking round the house, that they v/ere really coming or come ; and what would be the conse- quence ? why thev would kdl us all, and I was not fit to die : and O then the racking thoughts, perhaps in a few hours or minutes 1 should be in hell. O no tongue can tell' what I endured* I still continued praying and vratching over all my outward conduct, and guarding against every public vice, still hoping that I might yet obtain the favour of God, and be saved from everlasting misery. The dayS' I spent (when I was not about some worldly employ) much' in walking in the fields and in meditation, and tjie more I contemplated my own state and the certainty of death at* some uncertain moment, the more distressed I was, and found that the scenes and pleasures of a country life would not satisfy me, and I began ^o wish myself back again with my mates and the amusements of the town. Thus the poor awakened soul in his distress is seek- ing and roving here and thcrcj and every scheme he ciin REV. IIENRT Ar.LlNF.*S loiitrivc to find pence, rest and happiness fails him, andean find nothing bcnficiul to his poor, sturvini^, wandering soul, until he finds the Lord Jesus Christ. And as for him, they have no knowledge of him any further than a historical ac- count, whicii will not satisfy a soul under deep conviction. Thus I was vvandciing ni;^ht and day in this distressed stale, loaded witli guilt and darkness, and a stranger to one moment's solid rest or true lra|)[)incss. All iIk* glories and joys of creation appeared empty, and yet my mina like a drowning man, \vi\o will catch at a straw, would catch at this and that prospect of some enjoyments here on earth, or l)etler days by and by : but oh they all failed me. Ma- r.y were the tenn)lations I was led into by my dark mind ; once for a considerable time 1 was led to believe that God had neither love nor regard for any of his creatures, but would leave them all in misery, and only give them all ex- istence \N ilhout taking any care of them : I would say with- in niyself, I know not who or where he is, and I see all man- kind in some degree of misery, want and disajipoinlment, and I see idmost al' that I see, with their knowk -Ige and at- tention in this world,without discovering any knowledge of or relation with tliat (iod they pretended to know. And when I saw the darkness, ignorance, stupidity and misery of this miserable race rushing to the eternal world without any visible manifestations of God*s care over them, or concern for them, I could but conclude, that the full of man was true enough ; for I felt and saw the misery, but that their recove- ry or mercy from God through Christ towards them, was all uncertain: for how could we know there was any ntore truth in that history, than in the alcoran of Mahomet ? Oh the distressing days and unhappy nights, that I have waded through ! nothing but darkness, nothing but distress and slavish fear. Sometimes when I was %/ander- ing in the fields, I would throw myself down on the grass, and lament as if I should go into despair : and it is a won- der of wonders, that I did not embrue my hands in my own blood. I still continued praying to this unknown God, for although I had not much .hope there, yet it was my last resource. I thought if sickness was to come upon me, I should go into despair ; but it was not so : for when I was about jourteen years of age, I was taken down, and mj bodily disorder so st'ipified my mind, that 1 had no more sense or coucerii for my soul, than a beast, or tiian if I had »': i M LIFE AND JOUUNAI.. no soul ; aiul ulthou-,!;h I licard the doctor tell my mother, when ?ske(l whiit he ihouj^ht of me, suy, thut he believed I never should recover, yet it did not even cause one thouj^lit, us I remeuxber, what would become of my soul, or when I should awake: Ifelt a desire for ease from my pains, but was so stupid, as to. have no concern at all alxjut those eternal tlunps,whi(hbcfore had so employed and racked my attention. I NOW be^an more earnestly than ever to seek this )inknown (lod, pruyinj]^ every opportunity ; did read and study much, by wl\irh I soon atlaineil to a j^reat theory of rclii^ion for one of my a^e, and ^ot a considerable Babul built up ; but oh the temptations and trials tliat 1 now be- };an to full in, which almost drove me to despair. I first l)eiijan to be puiVed up with a conceit that I was endowed with uncommon gifts and powers of mind, which if im» proved, I should be able to find out and fathom that lonj^ {bidden mystery. Eternity. I began to embrace the tempt- ation, and to pursue the hidden mystery and dive for the bottomless ocean. Soon did the devil witii all his whiles control ' The active pow'rs of my deluded soul ; Presumed to unlaid the depth unknown To all, but the eternal God alone. O ETERNITY, fctemity, unfathomable eternity ! The joy of the righteous, but the dread of the wicked. 1 now spent hours and hours poring on this unknown mystery ; not expecting to find any period to this never ending dur- ation; but that I might find the consistency of an endless dur- ation and the nature of it ; for I did not believe that eterni- ty ever had any beginning or should ever have any end, but expected to get so far into the mystery as to see clear- ly how it was that eternity was in itself a duration without beginning or end : yea I thought I never could be happy, until 1 had thus far comprehended the mystery : neither had I any thought all this time, that I was under a tempta- tion, or guilty of any sin in attempting it, but rather imag- ined that it was my duty ; that I might likewise be able to communicate the mystery to others, although I had alrea- dy found by woful experience the unhappy consequence of my folly : for I had been so intense and engaged in the pursuit of this mystery, that sometimes I thought my soul and body would have parted asunder, and my mind was in auch a confusion as to border on despair. Often times t 10 REV. HENRY ALLINE*S would sit down in my private hours, or at my work, with a tietermination neither to leave the place or subject until I had some insight in this infinite mystery. Then I would be- gin to extend and stretch every faculty of my soul through a long succession of future ages, and would sometimes imag- ine, that I had almost fathomed the mystery. Thus being en- couraged and hurried on by the grand Adversary, would still stretch my conceptions, grasp a repeated multipli- city of years, and million? of ages in futurity, I being still 60 impatient to conceive of duration, soaring into the infi- nite ocean, until I was almost racked to despair : for ail the concei)tion I attained to at last was, that I found my- self a mystery of unhappy existence between two incon- ceivable eternities, or as an unextinguishable spark of life hanging over or fluctuating in an infinite, unbounded abyss or bottomless ocean. When I was in this almost despair- ing moment by these distressing views, the devil would tell me, that in a contimr d duration and perpe .i.al round of ex- istence, it was not in the power of God himself to make any of his creatures happy ; for the greatest pleasures and happiness, that could possibly be enjoyed by a continual succession or repetition, would become a torment. Oh what racks of horror and despairing views 1 would then be in, beyond what tongue can tell. Being in such a distress I would rise up, and leap, and step? and then stop and turn and stalk about like a mad man, or a frighted gliost, when I have been in the field, or my private walks ; at the same time being filled with blasphemous reflections against God, because he had given me an unhappy existence, that coul^ never be extinguished, and yet could not bear the Ihougnts of annihilation. And thus I may say I have been times without number, both night and day, on my bed and in my solitary walks, by this temptation plunged into inex- pressible horrors and racking views of despair ; yea I thought never a poor soul could be in more horror on this < side of hell ; so that I was many times constrained to cry out with an audible voice and horrid groans. And although the devil had almost made me believe that it was not in the power of God to make me happy, yet I remember, that the first words that I would generally express, when I was in such scenes of horr«r and distress, would be, O Lord God, O Lord God, have mercy on me, have mercy on me, have mercy on me I O Lord God have mercy on me, have ■i 1 l! 1^ ' .r ll I ( I J: I * LIFE AND JOURNAL. 11 have mercy on me, have mercy on me, &c. with a great many more such like repetitions, until that God, who was more merciful to nie than I was to myself, would in some measure retrieve me from the verge of despair, give me a gleam of hope, that there was a who can tell, but that God is able to make me happy > if I was in heaven with him. Thus I was hm-ried and driven by the devil and my own heart almost to despair, and nothing but the mighty power of God kept me from Isying violent hands on myself ; and although I began sometimes to be convinced, that it was a mystery that never was, nor never could be known or un- folded by men or angels, yet when the de\al would come again with his infernal snares, and teli me that I had almost found out the mystery, and that if I would try once more, I might unfold the whole, I would a^ain summon up every faculty of my soul to follow the suggestion. So like a foo!, swift for destruction bent, Then re-inforc'd, and to the battle went ; Nop would retreat, until a venon\'d dart Turning with fury to my bleeding heart ; • Then would my tortur'd soul despairing cry Forgive me Lord, and save me, lest I die. / O M Y soul, never forget the hand, the blessed and invisi- ble hand that kept me from embruing my hands in my own blood. Ten thousand praises belong to the Lamb, that kept me from the jaws of the roaring lion, and inter- posed between me and eternal ruin. Thus for three years I was racked in diving into that infinite unfathomaSle mystery. O eternity ! eternity I in- comprehensible eternity I known by none but God, and yet the existence of every soul, both of the wicked and of the righteous : and happy only are they who are prepared for a blessed eternity. And O will the wicked endure everlas- ting night ? and O blessed, forever blessed be the Lamb : he not only warned me from that eternity of unspeakable misery, but likewise convinced me of the danger I was in, while out of Christ being wholly exposed to take up my miserable abode in that bottomless gulf, and shewed me that unless I had an interest in his love I must certainly ex- ist in keen despair, in that endless duration, which I had seen but a small glimpse of. I now began to see mere of my lost, undone condition, than ever I had seen before. I saw that I was in the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniqiu- 12 RF.V. HENRY ALMNE*S '.J^ ty, and had no lot nor portion among the righteous, rnd therefore was exposed every breath to be cut off and drop into that bottomless gulf ; and was now so sensible of my lost undone condition, that I thought I should never rest any more till I fiad found rest for my soul : and although I was again often taken in the former temptation, yet 1 con- tinued seeking and begging for mercy from the unknown God. 1 was now very moral in my life, but found no rest of conscience. I now began to be esteemed in youi.^ company, who knew nothing of my mind all this while, and their esteem began to be a snare to my soulj for I soon began to be fond of carnal mirth, though I still fiat- tei cd myself that if 1 did not get drunk, nor curse, nor swear, there would be no sin in frolicking and carnal mirth, and I thought God would indulge young people with some (what I called simple or civil) recreation. I still kept a round of duties, and would not suffer myself to run into any open vices and so got along very well in time of health and prosperity, but when I was distressed or threatened by sickness, death or heavy stonms of thunder, my religion would not do, and I found there was something wanting, and would begin to repent my going so much to frolicks, and I promised to break off from bad company ; but when the distress was over, the devil and my own wicked heart, with the solicitations of my associates, and my fondness for young company, were such strong allurements, I would a- gain give »ray,and this I got to be very wild and rude, at the same time kept up my rounds of secret prayer and reading ; but Cod not willing I should destroy myself still followed me with his calls, and moved with such power upon my con- science, that I could not satisfy myself with my diversions," nor attend them without some reluctance, and in the midst of my mirth sometimes would have such a sense of my lost and undone condition, that 1 would wish myself from the company ; and after it w as over, when I went home, would make many promises that I would attend no more on these frolicks, and would beg for forgiveness for hours and hours ; but when I came to have the temptation again, I would give way, and promise that I would keep up a bet- ter watch, and not give way to be so rude and vain as I was before ; and then thought, when I came away I should not, be distressed, nor find any guilt on my mind : but when I went, the devil and my own heart, and the amusements of 'ii I ? LIFE AND JOURNAt.. i^ '•i; t ■■■ 'i. i \^ the time would soon make me be as wild as before : no sooner would I hear the music and drink a glass of wine, but I would find my mind elevated and soon proceed to any sort of merriment or diversicn, that I thought was not debauch- ed or openly vicious, or that I thought would be a blot in my character ; but when I retun^d from my carnal mirth I felt as gtiilty as ever, and could sometimes not close my eyes for some hours after I had got home to my btjd, on account of the guilt I had contracted the evening before. what snares were these frolicks and young company to my soul, and had not God been more merciful to me than 1 was to myself, they would have proved my fatal and ir- revocable ruin. O let all those that love their own souls flee, flee from carnal pleasures, and young carnal company, as they would from the gates of eternal misery ; for it is poison to the soul, as ratsbane is to the body : such ways are the ways of death, and such steps take hold of hell ; which sins I began to follow, when about seventeen years of 7 age, and continued in following them until I was twenty ' three, and part of my twenty fourth. O what a wonder that ever I was snatched from that alluring snare. The Lord still followed me, and would not give me up ; I began to be more and more afraid of the condemning power of sin, and my lost and undone condition. I then engaged more closely into morality and followed my duties ; but all did not take away the fear of death and hell : yea, 1 was so burdened at times, that I could not rest in my bed ; when I had been to any frolick or into carnal company I was of- ten afraid to close my eyes for fear that I should awake in hell before morning, I was one of the most unhappy ^creatures that was on earth. When I felt the least disor- der in my body, I would be in such distress that 1 could hardly contain myself, expecting that God was about to call me away»,and I unprepared ; fcfr although I was so strict in my morals, yet my religion would not stand by me in a time of distress or when death slared me in the face. Not that I thought being willing to die is sufficient to be fit to die ; for the wicked have no bands in their death, but when a man's eyes are open, death is very distressing, without an evi- dence of being prepared. GOD in his infinite goodness did not leave me to rest on a form of religion, but still gave mc a sense of my lo^r B u REV. HKNRY ALLINE S and undone condition in a great degree : fcai ing almost ev- ery thing that I Baw, that it wr.s against me, commissioned from God to call me away, and I unprepared : I was even afraid of trees falling on me, when I was in the woods, and in a time of thunder would expect that the next flash of light- ning would be commissioned to cut me off. Thus I was one of the unhappiest creatures that lived on earth; and would promise and vow, in time of danger, that I would leave all my carnal mirth and vain company, and that I would never rest, until I had found rest to my soul: but when the danger appeared to be over I would soon return to my folly, though not without great reluctance ; for the spirit of God wrought with such power that it followed me nig;ht and day, when I was in company or when I was retir- ed ; but I was so attached to young company and frolick- ing, that it seemed like parting with my life to leave them. Although many will say, they must wait God's time, and and wait for God's irresistible power to put them in hh way, and they wish God's time was come ; yet for my part I have nothing of that to say, for I knew that God would not mock mc ; I knew that he followed me night and day in- treating me to forsake all and accept of him : and 1 knew that going to such carnal mirth, and hugging my idols was against his spirit and against my everlasting happiness ; and yet I would go and hug my pleasures, still hoping and praying that God would not seize the forfeiture at my liands, nor leave me to myself. I plead that God would let me enjoy my pleasures a little longer, and call me by and by. So I would of choice put off the Lord whtn going to my carnal mirth and company, would pray to God not to cut me off, when I got there, nor suffer me to give way to any sin ; and thus I have not only stopped to pray as I \> as going, but sometimes prayed all the way, that God would keep me from sinning, when I was determined to go, and rush on the deyil's ground. I knew I could not refrain myself from sinning ; yea I knew it was sin for me even to go in such company, if I remained wholly passive, when I got there ; as I promised I would. O the subtlety of the devil and the deceitfulness of man's heart ! If the Lord had not been infinite in mercy, I should have been lost for ever ; for I still continued my evi' ways, and hugged my idols. Sometimes when I knew chat a great frolick was intended, which I wanted to attend, I would begin for sometime be- LIFE AND JOURNAL. 15 (are hand and keep up an uncommon watch and pray more often and more earnestly ; so that I thoutjht if I was left to be something rude and sinful, wlien I i^ot there, for the sake of keeping up my name among the polite company I should not feel so guilty when I was there, or when I came away ; and although I was thus chained to the covenant of works, yet I would not allow myself to think I had any sclf- righteousncss, but intended to be saved by free gract. Thus one may see that the greatest pbarisee aiul most strict moralist are ignorant of it, and will say, that thty expect salvation by free grace. I believe thousands si id thousands perish there forever, and go down to their graves depending on their own performances, for want of knowing what it is to depend on, and receive free grace ; and imag- ine they do it, and do not know that they are deceived, until lost to all eternity. But O the goodness of God tome a wretch ! his spirit still followed me and would not suffer me to settle down ; for even in the height of my carnal mirth, I was often, while on the floor in my dance, so a- larmed to a sense of my condition, that I could hardly con- tain myself, seeing that I was rushing against the bosses of God*s bucMer, with such dreadful views of the gulph of perdition be»^eath my feet, and the danger ®f my being cut off, and dropping into an irrevocable state, that 1 have often, while in the dance, cried out with mental cries, O Lord God, have mercy on me, have mercy on me ! and do not cut me off in my sins. Sometimes I would leave the company, (often speaking to the fiddler to cease from playing, as if I was tired) and go out and walk about crying and praying, as if my very heart would break? and beseeching God, that he would not cut me off, nor give me up to hardnes<* of heart, but spare me, until I was brought to repentance : yea 1 had now such a sense of my lost and undone condition, and the emptiness of all those pleasures and earthly en- joyments, that I did not attend nor carry on the frolicks, because I found any happiness or sweetness in them, but only that I might keep up my credit among the young peo- ple, and not be cast out of their esteem, and despised by them ; and I would make an excuse of that before God, al- ledging that I did not want to follow them, and took no pleasure in them, but that I must and thought it to be my duty to keep good fellowship with my neighbors, and keep up civil society, &c. and thus, wretched mortal as I was, I 16 REV. HENRY AIIlN't. o continued hugginj^ my sins, and making excuses for ihem, and prayed to God to forgive them ; still being burdened with a continual load of guilt, which 1 tried every way to cover or expiate, and at the same time pretended that I was depending on Christ. I was now more and more weaned from taking any delight in my carnal company, and instead of ot contriving to meet them or continue uny frolicks, would labom* hard to obstruct them by many f'xcuses I made, but did not tell them the cause of it ; and when I was constrained or overpersuadcd to meet them, and dra>vn out to dance with them, I woidd often speak to the fiddler in French, to desist playiriL!,, who would make some excuse to them (to oblige me) that he was tired, although he knew nothing of the cause I had of so doing, and would break up the diversion as soon as I could ; but O I when I got homr; to my bed chamber I had no more peace or rest than I had before, so that I could not sleep nor hardly lay in my bed, reflecting on my folly, for going at all, knowing certainly if I was to die, I should immediately drop into hell : rolling on my bed, I would call for mercy and pardon. Spare me, spare me, O Lord God, and cut not me off; forgive me, forgive me, O forgive me, or I am gone forever. O 'hat unhappy hours and nights I thus wore away, and my wicked heart woukl not bow, and though I was one of the most unhappy men on earth, yet I was so wicked that I was determined no mortal should know my state, lest I should be cast out as a poor, deluded, melancholy wretch ! The distress of my mind was so great, that it was sometimes almost impossi- ble to keep it concealed, and I often feared that the distress of my soul would break through all my fortitude ; but I en- deavoured as much as possible to dissemble in my counte- nance. When 1 met sometimes with meriy companions^ and my heart was ready to sink, I would labor to put on as cheerful a countenance as possible, that they might not dis- trust any thing was the matter, and sometimes would begin some discourse with young men or young women on pur- pose, or propose a merry song, lest the distress of my soul would be discovered, or mistrusted, when at the same time it was a grief to my very heart to hear of any vain or carnal mirth, and would then rather have been in a wilderness in exile, than with them or any of their pleasures or enjoy- mcrits. Thus for many months when I was in company, I would act the hypocrite and feign a men y heart, but at the i i ,J>r n. LIFE AND JOURNAL. ir s for being tried timti > now n my them struct 1) the viacU.d would ;, who I'dt he I had »on as nber I that I on my die, I bed, I me, O me, O hours woukl ihappy •mined ist out iof my fipossi- istress it I en- ;ounte- anions^ on as aot dis- d begin >n pur- ny soul e time carnal ness in enjoy- pany, I t at the r i I ,^ same time would endeavour as much as I could, without giving them reason to suspect me, sliun their company. wretched and unhappy mortal that I was l Every thing 1 did, and whe^evcr 1 ^vent, I was still in a storm, and yet was taken to be one of ihe most careless, merry, and light hearted youths in the whole town. And indeed I con- tinued to be the chief contriver and ringleader of the frol- icks for many months after ; though it was a toil and tor- ment to attend them ; but the devil and my o\\'n wicked heart drove me about like a slave, telling me that I must do this and do that, and bear this and bear that, and turn here and turn there, to keep my credit up, and retain the esteem of my associates r and all this while I continued as strict as possible in my duties, and left no stone unturned to paci- fy my conscience, watching even against my thoughts, and praying continually wherever I went : for I did not think there was any sin in my coi.duct, when I was among carnal company, because I did not take any satisfaction there, but only followed it, I thought, for sufficient reasons. But still all that I did or could do, conscience would roar night and day. About this time, after repeated coun- sels and admonitions of my faithful parents, I went home one morning about two or three o'clock, when all was in bed, and I hoped asleep, because I feared an admonition : however my parents, although awake, acted the prudent part, not to speak to me then ; fearing, I suppose, that I was then warm with my carnal passions, and omitted their re- proof till the morning. When the morning came, I was in hopes it would pass by, but no ; for although I had endeav- oured to shun giving them an opportunity, as much as I could, yet when I came to the table at breakfast, they were wise enough to improve the opportunity, and began in a ve- ry tender but emphatical manner to reprove me for my conduct. After 1 had endeavoured to vindicate my conduct as much as possible, telling them, that I was not guilty of any thing criminal or openly vicious ; and that it was only a simple recreation, that was allowablfe, my mother replied, that although I might not be guilty of any thing openly vi- cious or criminal ; yet it vv^as opening a door, that would soon lead me to it ; and that she expected nothing less, but that if I continued, I should soon be guilty of almost every ^ce ; and eternally ruined both in soul and body : and; B2 18 REV. HENRY ALLINh'a speaking in behalf of herself and my father, who was thc:i at the table and engaged in the discourse with her, she said, Well, if you are determined to take no advice, but will have your own way, remember that it will not affect our happiness. We can but advise you, and warn you of your danger, but if you will go to hell and be forever miscra- ~* ble, remember you go for yourself ; and further signified, that they should be as witnesses against me, at that great and dreadful day. O those words were like pointed arrows to my inmost soul, and struck the greatest blow that e^ er I had struck, to cut off my frolicking (although 1 did not wholly break off.) What, said I to myself, shaJl 1 one day see my parents, (whom 1 do love as niy own life) hi heaven saying to my condemnation, while I am in hell r O how can I bear the thoughts of that I I then immediately went out of the house, walked about in the field, crying and praying, as if my heart would break. What, said I repeatedly, shall my parents go to heaven and I to hell, and they rejoicing - to see me miserable I O shocking thought indeed ! I NOW renewed my engagement for a reformation and watchfulness, and was almost ready to promise, that I would ne ver go t o any more ofjthese carnal f rolic ks. I now kept more close to my duties than ever I did, praying six or sev- en times a day. I have reason to bless God, that I was not left to split on that rock ; a rock oa which I believe thou- sands and tliousands perish to all eternity. I remained yet in inexpressible distress, finding no rest to my troubled mind. The devil now set in with the cutting temptation, f-^ that I was not elected, and was the only cause, why I was not converted, or had not been converted long ago. God had chosen a certain number, which would certainly be saved to eternal life, and tisc rest were left and could not possibly be saved, do what they would ; yea, he persuaded me to believe, thai God by some unalterable decree had put it out of his power to redeem mc, and therefore I must ce r- tainly perish to all eternity. A doctrine too much preached up by those that are the ambassadors of Christ as well as by the devil. There is no tongue caii express, but of those that have experienced it, the unspeakable distress I was un- der. O, to think that my eternal state was already fixed in misery beyond any alteration or recovery ! O the thoughts of being a vessel of wrath to all eternity ! This brought me to reflect on the divine Being j for as I thought s >t- '■m 1 s llieu r, she at will :t our >f your liscra- t great ill'OWS It ever lid not lie dav heaven ) how enl out raying, y, shall joicing ion and [ would w kept or sev- tvas not ; thou- ned yet roubled ptation, I was God inly be uld not suaded iiad put list ce 1 - :eached well as of those was un- y fixed O the » This hought LIFL AND JOURMAL, 19 1 ;f. cruelty, I could hardly contain myseirfromhlasphcmintj and ciirbin^- the Ciod that made nie ; and did really wish many a time from my very soul, that I had never been born ; yea, I envied every beast, stock or stone I cast wvj eyes upon. I thought O if God had been so kind to me as to them, how happy 1 should have been ; but no, he has giv- en me a soul to exist forever, and put me beyond a possibil- ity of rediimption. Thus I was filled with blasphemous thoughts and reflections against God. O how strong is tlie Power of Darkness in the fallen soul of man I And if there is so much guilt and darkness appearing now while in this imi>risoned state, what will be the rage of the ungodly, when they ere beyond all restrtunt, and awake like themselves in their own hellish darkness and rage. O the deplorable state of tiie fallen race I After a while I began to hare a hope, that there was a possibility of God's saving me, and therefore I would try : but O it was but a little hope or expectatio»i ; and thus I continued the most unhappy wretch that walked upon the earth ; knowing that (iod, who 1 thought acted altogether as an arbitrary sovereign, was to summon me away by death, I was gone to all eternity ; and although I was thus exposed, every breath I drew, to keen and ever- lasting despair, yet I was not willing to be saved on the « terms of '.he gospel ; that is, cast myself wholly on free grace, and thought all this time, that God was not willing to save me. Thus I continued begging for mercy and fighting against it at the same time. By this time I had read, studied and disputed so much, that I had acquired a great theoi y of religion, and spent much time disputing on the controverted points, such as election, reprobation, resurrection, baptism, Sec although 1 never let any one know, that I was any way concerned a- bout them ; and I thought, I was capable to liold an argu- ment with any one that I could find : but instead of getting my rest, I only increased my distress, for I thought I could deceive the very elect. Oftentimes when I went to bed after I had been disputing with my parents, I felt so nmch guilt and distress on my mind, that it seemed I cciikl not ^ continue in the body, thinking how I had deceived them ; but found I was not willing they should know my state. I now promised that if ever I discoursed again with my par- ents, I would discover to them my state j but O my wick- 20 , », REV, HENRY ALLINL S ed heart kept back ; and wliat made it more hard for mt to speak and manifest my condition was the darkness of the time ; it was a time oi: Ejjyptian darkness. I have reason to l)elieve there were no more than five or six chris- tians in tlie wliole town, and they snnk into death and form- ahty : there was notliing of the power of rehgion, the tra- vail of the soul ; and conviction and conversion v/ere scarce- ly mentioned ; only externals, and duties, and commands, and different principles, Sec. 1 read of mr.ny experiences and aixoutits ot a work of grace in the souls of others, and therefore knew tiiat i liad no portion in the kingdom of heaven : and when 1 re^d of many that were converted in -T the former reformation, and that in a short time ; some be- ing but a few days under conviction and brought out re- joicing ; I would then miu'mur against God, because he did not convert me ; and thought, if I was a sinner, I was not worse, nor hardly so bad, as many of them had been. But oh I little knew what I was, nor what I was harbouring : the evil oi my own heart was yet undiscovered : I little knew that I: was a hell and damnation to myself in my own nature: I little knew that God was more willing to save me, than I was to be saved. O the blindness and ignorance in the ways and nature of God I was in ; I knew I must be- lieve ; yea it is held by many, that if I could once get God to be willing, I should be sure of salvation : and it ii- the thoughts of thousands, who profess to be christians, that they must labour hard to prevail with God to have mercy on his creatures, as if he was scant in his blessings, and sparing in his mercy, and therefore he was to be prevailed with by effective arguments, to give consent, that the bless- ing should be gi\ en, as if his mind was thereby changed, when it is wholly the revei'se ; for his nature is such that he cannot be but merciful, and willing to do good to all his creatures ; and there is nothing keeps it from awakened sinners,but their own stubborn will, which debars them frv.m his love, and it would be proper to plead with God to re- . move our opposition; S- One evening as I was taking a walk of about two or "^ three miles to spend the evening ^vith some of my com- panions (as I had promised) being alone and pondering on my lost and undone condition, as I was at this time almost' night and day, the evening was very dark, but all on a sud- den I thought I was surrounded with an uncommon light y LIFE AND JOURNAL. '2 1 n It seemed like a blaze o' fire ; I thoujijht it out shone the sun at noon day : I was iuimcdiattly plunged almost in kctn despair. The first conception 1 had was that the «;rcat day of judgment was come, and time at apciiod. O what unspeakable horrors broke I'orlU immediately upon my soul : every power of my mind strained with terror and surprise. I thouirht the day of grace was now over, mercy ahuscc', goodness rejected, time at a period, eternity com- nieu' ed, the infinite judge approaching, conscience awake, and my soul burdened with almost v:\ unsupportablc loud of i;uilt, darkness and tormenting fear, and a bottomless i^uif beneath me. All this appeared as real as if it were actu- ally so. I thought I saw thousands of devils and damned spirits, by whom I expected to be tormented. No friend, no Saviour, no Mediator 1 He that made me would have no mercy on me, and he that formed me would shew me no favour; and yet I clearly saw that his throne was just and "wholly clear of my blood. I had nothing to lay to his charge, for I sawjhow I had wilfully refused his grace, and rejected his mercy : all times and opportunities of repen- tance were now at a period, and nothing but loss, loss, in- cessant loss, like a dagger shot through my poor distressed and almost despairing soul. Thus God shewed me in some degree for about three quarters of a minute, what it would be to meet that dreadful day in the condition I vr&s then in, without a Saviour ; and therefore informed me how exposed I was at every breath I drew, and what ai awful day I must soon see, if I am found out of Christ ; yea, methinks I saw more in that short time than I could express in one week. I stood all this time with my face towards the ground, trembling in body, and sinking in my mind, not having power to look, nor desire to ask for mer- cy, because I thought the case was really settled with me, and therefore it would be needless to ask for mercy, es- pecially when I saw myself so justly condemned ; and O too late I was convinced of r / folly. My distress was sa great that I believe it continued hall an hour, as it would have separated my soul from my body, for my very flesh seemed to consume off of my bones with the weight ; every thing conspiring to load me with unspeakable distress. O what u day ! iiow will the wicked stand, When scenes immortal open to their view ? All time deserted, mortal changes past, And they awake before the awful Bar, Where Grace and Hope to them arQ known no more 22 REV. HENRY ALLINK's Tmk firr.t thout^ht I remember, exclusive of reviewing- the shocliinj^ scene, was to lool^ behind me and see how fur the ijurnin^ llojd und sweeping dehi^e, which I imagined to be coming after me, was from me, that I might know how long I should be out of hell, or how long it would be, before my doom shovdd be hnally settled. When I lifted up my eyes, I saw, to my unspeakable satisfaction, that it was not as I expected : the day was not really come, there- fore I had an opportunity of repentance, and a possibility of escaping from that awful and eternal gulf. O how my heart seemed to leap for joy, and at the same time began to groan for mt:rcy. I found the day of judgment was not come, nor the world in flames as I expected. There ap- peared, as I thought, a large blaze of light in the shape of a circle, with that side next to me open us though it yawned after me, and as it drew very nigh me, it closed up in a small compass, then broke out in small sparkles, and van- ished away. It is no matter whether the light, which I savr with my bodily eyes, was one of the common phenomena of nature, such as exhaled vapours or nitre, that had gathered in the air ; it was not the less alarming to me ; for I believe it was really designed by God as an alarming means, as much as if it was a miracle sent to me in particular. We are very apt to evade the force of many alarming calls from God by such things as are not uncommon in nature. When the light seemed to vanish, and the scene to withdraw, my whole soul seemed to be engaged to implore mercy and grace. O mercy, mercy, mercy, was every groan of my soul, and 1 began to make many promises, that I would never hear to sin as I had done, nor rest another day, unless I had found a Saviour for my poor soul. I thought very much of the goodness of God to me in giving me one moment more for repentance, and that there ap- peared yet a possibility of my being saved. In that distressing moment how I stood '' On the tremendous verge of endless death ! While rending horrors from approaching ruin. And hellish fancies, poison'd with despair, And rappid torrents pierc'd my bleeding soul. . O far beyond what mortal tongue can say ! • Till the Almighty, with a breeze of hope, Calm'd all the storra, and bid, tho' dire, be still. To whose great name, ten thousand thanks are due. I THINK 1 was determined to spend my remaining moments at the door of mercy, begging for redeeming lo.ve> i I irK ANT) JOURKAL. ts and if I never finind inciry, to ^o down to the t^ravc mourn- ing,and die a beggar. 1 went to the house 1 intended, l)Ut diil not join in any diversion : 1 told what 1 had seen, but not what effect it had on me. I did not stav lonr there, for niv distress was so ^reat, that I returned and went home to my father's. When 1 came there, thev were all in hed. I went to my bed-room, and rryinc^ tor mercy like a jierson in agony. 1 had still a clear view of what I had seen and what it was sent for ; neither did I think, that I could ever dose my eyes, until I found some relief; but () the subtil- ty of the devil and the deceitfulness of my own heart ! I liad not been long in the room, before there was represent- ed to my view a beautiful woman (on',* whom I had seen be- fore, but had no great acquaintance with) and the happiness that I thought I might enjoy with her stole away my af- fections from thinking much of (lod or my st^ite. The devil told me that I need not commit any sin for to enjoy her ; that I might marry her, which was lawful : yea, I so acquiesced in the temptation, that my aflections were after her, and she appeared the most beautiful object that ever I beheld. My passions were so inflamed with the pros- pect, that I thought I would not omit the first opportunity to go to see her and propose marriage to her, 1 thought 1 would be the happiest man on earth, if I might but have her for a companion for life. O the subtilty of that grand adversary, who might by this temptation have proved my eternal ruin, if God had not interposed. And I believe many souls are ruined so for evt r, who in time of distress, and under some convictions, will turn away after the en- joyments of the creature, under a pretension of going in the way of duty. I had almost forgot my distress and un- speakable danger, but blessed be God, after I had been a- bout half an hour captivated wit!i the delusive prospect, he stepped in for my help, and by his blessed spirit struck my heart with conviction of my state and the dangerous snare I was plunging myself in ; he shewed me that I was on ' the devil's aground, and far from performing the vows I had so lately made ; and at the same time convinced me that if I remained in the state I was in, i must soon meet in real- ity, what I had a faint representation of, and that if I give way to this snare i n>ight grieve the holy spirit, and that it might prove the means of my eternal ruin ; and blessed be his name, I was not only made to see the temptation, K I 34 RF.V. HEKRY AI.LINE's but likewise to detest it from my very heart, and enabled to withstand it. I almost spoke out with an audible voice, saying, get thee behind me Satan, for I see the snare ; at the same time also saying, I will not go, I will not go, neither will I think of marrying or enjoying any thing in this ' world, until (if God gives me grace) I find a Saviour for my soul ; for what wi'll all these enjoyments J^vail me in a dying hour. 1 WAS now more distressed than ever ; for I saw more and more my danger, and the necessity of an Almighty Friend to stand by me for time and eternity. I spent not only almost all that night, but also the next day and many days and nights, being bowed down with guilt and dark- ness, crying for mercy. O mercy, mercy for my preciou* and immortal soul. I NOW began to be tried with another very heavy temptation, which was, that I had committed the unpar- I donable sin, and therefore was certainly gone, gone for ever. / I remembered, that at a certain time some years ago, when I was in company with some young women, who were making a derision at people's waiting for the moving of the Spirit, I joined with them in the laughter and mockery, and although it was the spirit of God that convinced me of this sin and gave me a great sense of the evil of it, yet the de- vil now set in and told me that it was the unpardonable sin ; for when I was convinced that I had made a mock of re- ligion, and made light of speaking reproachfully of the moving of the Spirit ; he said it was the Spirit of God I had made a mock of, and therefore was lost forever ; for all blasphemy against the Father and Son may be forgiven, but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost can never be forgiven, neither in this world, nor the world to come. O the distress I was now in ! The thoughts of being lost be- yond recovery would rack almost my soul anr' body asun- der, and I thought I would gi'^e ten thousand vorldb, if I had them, to recall what I had done. O h(.vv it would rack me night and day ; but it was done, and I could not re- call it ; yea, and the devil was telling me that I had sin- ned against light and with malice, and tlierefore it could not be forgiven me : but though I did not know tl en, that there was any thing in my favour, yet my being so dis- tressed for fear that I had committed that sin, and tliat I was so desirous to recall it, was a sufficient evidence, that I,irr. AKD JOURNAL. 25 enabled e voice, ; at the neither in this lour for ne in a a.w more .Imighty pent not nd many nd dark- preciout ry heavy le unpar- i for ever, igo, when vho were ing of the :kery, and me of this t the de- nable sin ; ck of re- lly of the God I had ; for all forgiven, never be :ome. O ig lost be- aody asun- orldb, if I it would aild not re- had sin- hM it could tl en, that. ng so dis- and that 1 dence, that I H I had not committed it, as 1 have been taught since. At "^ length it pleased God to relieve me from this temptation, by shewing me that I had not committed it out of malice or s^iite, neither had I much light at that time. My distress continued still night and day ; and O what days and hours of grief and trial 1 waded through, being locked up in darkness, and a stranger to all joy and happiness. Every thing 1 saw :>eemed to be a burden to me ; the earth seemed accursed for my sake : all trees, plants, rocks, hills and vales seemed to be drest in mourn- ing, and groaning, under the weight of the curse, anderery thing around me seemed to be conspiring my ruin. My sins seemed to be laid open ; so that I thought that every one I saw knew them, and sometimes I was almost ready to ac- knowledge many things, which I thought they knew : yea sometimes it seemed to me as if every one was pointing me out as the most guilty wr«itch on earth, I had now so great a sense of the vanity and emptiness of all things here below, that I knew the whole world could not possibly make me happy, no, nor the whole system of creation. Thus seeing that there was not a possibility of happiness in all the creation, and none to be enjoyed in God or his ways (as that appeared to me the only shelter from misery) I thought it was a cruel thing in God to make me or any other im- mortal spirit of such a capacity, as I found I had ; for I thought he had made hungry souls but nothing to feed them ; for I could not see any thing to feed me or make me happy, and therefore must be miserable forever. In- deed it is so great a truth, that all mankind have hungry souls, which nothing can satisfy or feed but (iod himself, that I would to God, those who profess to be the Ministers of Christ, would labour to convince their hearers of the disordered, distressed, hungry and self-tormenting nature of their own immortal souls ; instead of telling them, that God is revengeful and vindictive, and that they must go to this and that duty, and forsake this and that sin to please God, or to get him reconciled to them : for although it was contrary to what our ministers preached in those days, yet the spirit that convinced me shewed me, if I could com- mand ten thousand worlds, it would be all in vain, for it could not give my soul one hour's peace. C 4 26 RtV. HENRY ALLINE's 'i f ! ;,(- , Wherever I went, or whatever I did, night or day, I was groaning under a load of guilt and darkness, praying and crying continually for mercy ; yea I would often be so intent in prayer, that when 1 met any one in the street, I would be praying, until I spoke to him, and as soon as I left him, would immediately begin again to cry within my- self for mercy, mercy, mercy. Lord God, have mercy on me : and while I was in company, was so distressed and sui k in spirit, that I could scarcely keep the anguish of my soul concealed ; and would often, as much as 1 possibly could, counterfeit a cheerful countenance, lest I should be discovered ; and thus for hours, being in company I have exercised all the fortitude I was master of, to keep the storm within under a suppression. When I waked in the morning, the first thouglit would be, O my wretched soul, what shall I do, where ahall I go ? and when I laid down, would say» I shall be perhaps in hell before morning. I would man) times look on the beasts with envy, wishing with all my heart I was in their place, that I might have no soul to lose ; and when I have seen birds flying over my head, have often thought within myself, O that I could fly away from my danger and distress I O how happy should I be, if 1 were in their place. O how hard it is for the stubborn will to bow, and the v/icked to come down and give up all. They often imagine that they are willing to receive God's grace and God is not willing, but it is quite the reverse. He standeth, saith the prophet, behind our walls. We have reason, both saints and sinners, to cry to God continually to take away the opposition of our will, our own stubborn will, and the corruption of our nature, that God's grace and love might enter in ; as it certainly would, as soon as all is given up : and this necessity of praying, watching and wrestling, is wrought in the soul by the spirit of God, to subdue and destroy the rejecting nature and stubborn will in the creature, that the meek and lover any further, than to keep me froii -^ misery , for as yet I s,^w no beaty in Him> nor happinesk ^ « I LIFE AND JOURNAL. 29 it so clear- vho, I doubt rer his love me I secm- sc of God's )op so low ; upport my id distress ; at kept me id stubborn- ;r catch and esus ; and yielding all jod shouM ave. >M ome to my a found a- )orn again > hiiigoi'my And 2iU saw more , for all d not go stood a- ed insiifli- ing at my aviour and ■will stood O the Thus ; wandg|^„ of sin rf^i^(\ est ; ".e.- no, not \ri ther, th at me froii -^ lappintsie ^ in his ways : but stiU hoping that God would convert me, and bring me to enjoy something I could not tell what, and would still plead v/ith God to undertake for me : and al- though I would not have suft'ered myself to expect salva- tion any way by my own works either in the whole or in part, yet all this lime I was endeavoring to do a part, and would sometimes think that my prayers and fears would prevail with God, and sometimes thut my being so engag- ed, so aftected, and so humble, would affect God, and cause him to pity me, and be willing to convert me. And thus it is that children often imbibe such conceptions of God, by hearing of vindictive wrath and incensed justice in him; tlicrefore, when awakened, will labour a thousand ways to pacify or reconcile God. I think it would be far better to teacli them, as it really is, that God is notliing but love and goodness, waiting for sinners to be reconciled to him ; and that all the wrath and darkness, anger and punishment A that there is, is in themselves, which would be more likely to convince them of the necessity of a change of nature, and excite a more speedy escape to the great Redeemer. I HAD got so much light that I knew almost as nmch as a clu'istian in my head, but had nothing saving in my heart ; but I had such a doctrinal knowledge of the neces- sity of conversion, that I thought it M'ould be the most shocking judgment that could befal me, to be left unmind- ful or careless of the onj thing needful : yea, I retained u fear, that T might sit c'ov/n short of Ghrist, or forget my exposed state, that I now was in, and must be in, until con- verted. There was nothing I more feared, tiian getting •, back into my former state of security, so as wholly to for- get m^ lost and undone condition. About this time I en- deavoured to find out some way to prevent my falling into an insensible condition, or forget what I now saw of my miserable condition ; for which end I concluded in my mind to engrave upon some large rock, in some private place in the woods, a few very striking sentences, that would express the distress I had once been in, or what I had once seen, and that 1 was still in the same lost and un- done coalition, and as much exposed unless I was born a- g^in : and thus I should be alarmed, whenever I passed by that rock, which might prove the means of the salvation of my precious and immortal soul. But my distress in- - C 2 . . ■ « |i! 30 REV. HINRT ALLINE's I \ *■: 1 ; creasing and for want of some instrument and an opportu- nity I kept putting it off, and so never completed it. O the inconsistency oi' my conduct I for iiad I got so away and returned to my former carnal state, as to have no sense of, or desire to seek for salvation, I should have had no de- sire to have seen ih-di rod.. Thus it is tl.ut man will con- . trive thousands of ways to bring some power of his own and to carry on the work of salvation himself: bvit if they will not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they l.e persuaded though one arose from the dead. My desire for salvation was now so great, that I thought I would will- ingly do or suffer any thing, that could be laid on me which would effect the work : yea, had it been possible, I vvouW have been willing to have suffered the pangs of death a thousand times, to have purchased salvation, or obtain re- demption and everlasting life. But O it was all in vain : conversion yet was unknown to me ; yea at a greater dis- tance than ever. One evening I was at a house, where there were some people, who made a game of what they had seen of the New-Lights in New-England, where some of them had been and had seen them ; and in derision cried out, they were converted, they were converted, and a young woman fell down on the floor and frothed out of her mouth, and cried, &c. which I knew she did by way of mockery : neither did I believe to be true, what they said of the indecencies they committed ; although I doubted not, but that through an extreme distress of mind they might do some things that seemed rather indecent to the world : but I still believed, though I had never seen any such work, that it was the work of God : it grieved me therefore to hear them mak- ing such a game of it ; yet 1 had not the power to speak in behalf of it, and thought if I did it, they would laugh at nie ; and so, though I did not join with them I held my tongue, which I ought not to have done. 1 now believe, tb^-t had I come out and spoke, God would have given mc strength, and it might have been a blessing to my soul. One of the young women in the company said in these words (by way of laughter) Lord have mercy; I wish I ■was there to see how the creatures act : her mother (who professed to be a christian) replied, O Abigail, I would not have you go there for all the world, for you know that we ^''" not our own keeners, and how do you know you might V. LIFS AND JOURNAL. 31 )pportij- I it. O io away lo sense rl no flc- AW fon- liis own if tl^ey thcv Le T desire Lild will- e which '. vvouW :leath a tain rc- 1 vain : ter dis- I'c some of tJie ad been y were nan fell 1 cried, her did es they ugh an gs that elievedy vas the mak- peak in igh ift Id n;y )elieve, vtn mc y soul. i these wish I r (who nld not hat we might ^.f not be taken so too. O how this cut me to the heart ; be taken so too, said I to myself, why I would crawl on my hand» and knees, if it were possible, all m/ days, if I might be taken hold of, as I think they are, or feel, as I think they feel for all what you may laugh at, and deride them ; and you, thought I, who profess to l)e a christian, to be afraid that your daughter should be there, for fear of btfing taken hold of: but she was not alone, for I have seen in my travels great numbers slnctj, poor blind souls, that profess to be christians, yea ministers and members of churches, as much afraid of the power of religion as she was. O that God would shake not only the earth but the heaven.^ also. I STILL found no relief for my poor distressed mind ; my perishing soul was yet in darkness and in the prison of unbelief. Sometimes I thought I depended on my prayers and tears, and then would begin to iabo'.u' to strip myself of them, and when I thought I had no dependence on them, I would de{)end on my not depending ; and then I thought I might expect mercy, because I liad cast all away. I knew that 1 must be humi)led, and therefore would labo\ir, as many poor benighted men do picach,to humble myself, to prepare the way for Clirist, and strive to be holy and to hate sin before I got Christ. How erreat the pride of all the fallen race ; How liard to bow to the Redeemer's grace : How much to help their guilty souls they'll try, Before they wholly on the Lord rely : Reflect on God and oftentimes complain, While offer'd grace is off'er'd still in vain. Thus I continued until the 26th of March, 1775, and there being no preaching in the town, that day I spent, yea all the day, in reading, praying and meditating, sometimes in the house, and sometimes walking in the fields, but found no relief from any quarter. As I was about sunset wan- dering about in the fields lamenting my miserable, lost and undone condition, and almost ready to sink under my bur- den, I tho\ight I was in such a miserable case, as never any man was before ; and did not see any prospect of ever ob- taining any relief. O the thought of continuing in such a dark vault and distressing storm as I was in, how could I bear it, or what must I do ! O why did God make me to be thus miserable, and leave me, (as I thouglit he had) to perish in this conditionj being a stranger to myself, to God H 1 li ll; I' t \ i * iK* 32 REV, MEKRY ALMKE's and to all happiness. 1 returned to the house und^^r a> much distress as 1 could hardly bear, and when I got to the door, just as 1 was stepping off the threshold, the follow- hig impressions came into my mind like a powerful, but small still voice. You have been seeking, praying, reform- ing, hi!)ouring, reading, hearing and meditating, and what have you done by it towards your salvation ? Are you any nearer to conversion now than when you first I)cgfan ? Arc you any more prepared for heaven, or fitter to appear be- fore the impartial bar ol' God, than when you first began to seek ? It brought such conviction on me, and that immedi- ately to my mind, that I was obliged to say, that I did not think I was one step nearer than at first, nor any more i»ap- py, or prepared than years ago ; but as nmch condemned, as much exposed, and as miserable as before. Then were again in an instant impressed on my mind these words, Should you live as much longer as you have, and seek as much, pray as much, do as much and refoim as much ; as you have done nothing now, you will have done nothing then, and then what will yoi. be the better ? IVIy soul cried out within me, no, no, I shall never be better, if I live ten or twenty years longer. O what shall I do, Avhat shall I say, or where shall I flije ? I am undone ; and if there be not some way foimd out, that I am a stranger to, and never stepped one step in, I am gone forever. 'O mercy, mercy, liOrd have mercy on me, or I am undone to all eternity. And now 1 began to be stripped, and saw that I had done nothing, and never could do any thing. I had often thought that this was not right, and that was not right ; I went wrong this way and that way ; did not keep my watch this time or that time ; which was the reason that I had not been converted ; but if I had done so and so, and had not gone astray here and there, I should have found mercy be- fore now, and I intend to keep a better watch, seek more earnesdy, and seek more humbly, love, Sec . and then I shall find mercy. But O tliese hopes and the ways I had so of^en and so long practised all failed mc. and I saw that I could neither exti icate mvself out of my lost, undone con- dition, nor recommend myself to God by any thing I had done, or ever could do if I were to live a thousand years. And i appeared further from conversion than ever : for un- der some agreeable frames, when I felt my passions mov- t ■' LIFE A»H JOURNAL. 33 und^tr as gfot to the le follow - e»*iu], b.n I'eforni- and what you any an ? Arc ^pear be- ^t^tjan to immedi- did not lore hap- denincd, en were words, seek as uch ; as nothing ^ly soul if I hve 'it shall iiere be i never ernity. ^ done nought f went h this d not d not 7 be- more »en I had that con- had ;ars. 'un~ iov- •• 4 iK ^ cd, I would hope, that I was nearer conversion ; hut now even all those ui^reeahle frames were |jjone, ami I found that I could neither love, pray, praise nor reptru ; but my heart felt iiurd, my will stubborn, my soul dry and barren, starving for want of one crumb of bread, al! njy wisuou) and human prudence seenied to be gone, and I was as ignorant as a beast ; and my original sin anil fountain of corruption appeared ten thousand times greater and worse than all my actual sins. I cried out within myself, O Lord God, I am last, and if thou O Lord dost not find out some new way, I know nothing of, I shall never be saved, for t!ie ways and methods I have pre«icribed to myself have all failed me, and 1 am willing they should fail. O Lord, have mercy, O Lord, have mercy. These discoveries continued until I went into the house and sat down, which was but a short time, though I saw more than I could express or had seen for some time. After I sat down, being all in confusion, like a drov/ning man, that was just giving up to sink, I had nothing now to depend on, but on some invisible and unknown God, to whom I was continually groaning with groans unuttera- ble. I have nothing now to support me, or help me, what must I do ? or where shall I go ? Will God have mercy on me, or must I sink forever ? Being almost in an ago- ny, I turned very suddenly round in my chair, and seeing part of an old bible laying in one of the chairs, I caught hold of it in great haste ; and opening it without any pre- meditation, cast my eyes on the 38th Psalm, which was the first time 1 ever saw the word of God : it took hold of me with such power, that it seemed to go through my whole soul, and read therein every tiiought of my hearty and raised my whole soul ^vith groans and earnest cries to God, so that it seemed as if God was praying in, with, and for me. This so affected me, that I could not refrain from tears, and was obliged to close the book, but still continued praying in the same words ; for it seemed, as if I could re- peat them almost as well without the book as with it. Af- ter I had sat thus for some time, repeating over and pray- ing in that Psalm, I again opened the bible without any desij!;n to turn to any particular place ; I cast my eyes on the 40t.h Psalm ; the three first verses being different from the rest, c me with power and energy to my heart ; but did not still take hold of it as any evidence of my beii>g ^ ?"''^ ^''ti^/ittn^ !"■;"■'=' " ^°'-<' '<•■< me kno V i' (Si Of :i, ""' ^^"«t tins nieht iffC ^'^^'' ^ L«^d Jesus -™Wed and filf:;,'^;;'!!^,^- -as expelled 'mT choice after the infinite Cnflf ""'' "^^ »'*" turned of 'S-.S.J and been clesmi ^'f. [^aU V'^ '"^'' «" ■njieaven, but with what T „? • '° """y ^ler death o. Who, , ,^^.,,^^^ fii d witirrr-'' i" ™-^ ^°"' -fo -y / -?-ivi2i^TXn ■ LIFE AND JOl'RNAI . v>5 lis ;d x- / «hstrtssing fears, and crying; to an unknown .Clod for help, uas now filled with immortal love, soaiin^^ on the winf^s of faith, freed from the chains of death and daikness, and cry- \u\^ out my Lord and my Cod ; thou ait my rock and my fortress, my shield and my high tower, my life, my joy, my present and my everlasting portion. ^ O THE astonishing wonders of his grace, and tiic boundless ocean of redeeming love ! millioi^s and niillions of praises belongs to his name. O how shall I make the least return I O what a wretch have 1 been to stand it out against such love. I have long and often wondered, that God did not have mercy on me and conveit me ; but r.ow I saw it was my own fault, and wondered why he waited so long upon such miserable rejectors of his grace. O how black appeared all my righteousness, which T saw I had hugged so long. And O the unspeakable wisdom and beauty of the glorious plan of life and salvation. I have often wanted some things in the world, and some plans to be altered, and wished this thing and that thing was not so, because it seemed hard, and not agreeable to my carnal mind and human reasonings ; but I would not now have any alteration for ten thousand worlds. I'.very thing that God did was right and nothing wanting : I did not want then that God should alter any thing for me> but I was willing, yea chose (for it was the food and joy of my soul) to bow to him, to be ruled by him, to submit to him and to depend wholly upon him both for time and eternity ; and it was the joy of my soul that he would be God alone forever. I wondered that ever an infinite God should turn a thought of mercy toward the fallen world, and be employed for the welfare of such a wretch as I saw I was. But O free grace, free grace 1 O how infinitely condescending vras the Ancient of Days to become an infant of a span long to re- deem perishing and immortal souls t He deserves their praises for erer ; and my soul longs to praise him, for he is my prophet, my priest and my king : and this is my be- loved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem. O the infinite condescension of God to a worm of the dust I for though mywiiole soul was filled with love, and ravished with a divine ecstacy be)T)nd any doubts or fears, or thoughts off being then deceived, for I enjoyed a heaven on eartli, and it seemed as if I were wrapped up in God, and that he had done ten thousand times more for me than ever I could ex- '>^ 36 RF.V, l!F,NRV AI.LINF, 5 V ' pcct, or had t^cr thought of: yet he still stcopccl to the wtcikncss of my desiiTs ami rcciucsts, nuulc as before ol - served on the 13tli of Tebniary ; thouf;h I had no thoughts of it then, until it was given me. Lookinj^ up, I thought I *aw that same light, though it appeared different, and as soon as I saw it, the design was opened to nie, according to his promise, and I was obliged to cry out : enough, enough, blessed (iod ; the work of conversion, the change and the manifestations of it are no more disjKitablc, than that light which I see, or any thing that ever 1 saw. 1 will not say I saw either of those lights with my bodily eyes, though 1 thought then I did, but that is no odds to me, for it was as evident to me, as any thing I ever saw with my bodily eyes ; and answered the end it was sent for. O how the condescension melted me, and thought 1 could hardly bear, that God should stoop so low to such an unworthy wretch, crying out still, enough, enough, O my (.iod, I believe, 1 be- lieve ; at the same time 1 was ravished with his love, and say- ing, go on, go on blessed God in love and mercy to me, and although I do notdeserve thee, yet I cannot live without thee, and I long to drink deeper and deeper in thy love. O what secret pleasure I enjoyed ! happiness and food that the world knows nothing of : substantial food and settled joy. O I would rather be a door-keeper in the house of my God than to dwell in the tents of wickedness, crowned with all the dignities of this lower world, surrounded with all the enjoyments of time, and the most exalted pleasures of sense. In the midst of all my joys, in less than half an hour after my soul was set at liberty, the Lord discovered to me my labour in the ministry and call to preach the gospel. I cried out amen. Lord I'll go, I'll go, send me, send me. And although many (to support the ministry of r.ntichrist) will pretend, there is no such thing, as a man's knowing in these days he is called to preach any other way, than his going to the seats of learning to be prepjired for the minis- try, and then authorized by men : yet blessed be God, there is a knowledge of these things, which an unconverted man knows nothing of. For my own part it was so clear to me, that I had not the least doubt, but I shoidd preach the gos- pel ; although to all appearance in the sight of man, there was none appeared more unlikely t for my capacity in the ^ 'orld was low, being obliged to labour daily with my \\\ I C(l to t\\t: H'forc ol - > thoii^l.ts thought I it, and as cording to 1, enough, langc and than that 1 \\\\\ not cs, tliough for it w as my hodily 3 how the uxUy bear, hy wretch, ieve, I be- e, and say- to me, and .ho\it thee, . O what 1 that the ettled joy. ise of my vvned with with all easures of an hour ed to me ^ospeL I send me^ ntichrist) nowing in than his ne minis- od, there rted man L^ar to me, I the gos- lan, there pacity in with mv $ IIFK AN'D JOL'RNAl,, r.r % hands to get a living ; my father's estate was not very large, and my part.nts being almost prst labour, I had the Avholc care of these temporal concern.s. As for learning, it was true I had read and studied more than was common for one in my station, but my education was 1 ut small : •what I had of human literature, I had accpiircd of myself without schooling, excepting what I obtained before I wa^i eleven years of age, for I never went to school, after I . came to Nova-Scotia ; so that if learning only would make ministers of Christ, as the world vainly imagine, I had it not : but, blessed be Cod, I trust I had that to go with mc which was better than all the wisdom and learning ; neith- er had I the lea«:t doubt, when 1 was near to Cod, of being not qualified, though after that, when I got in the dark, 1 had : but said with all my soul, 1*11 go, I'll go; send me, send me with the glad tidings of salvation and messages of peace to my fellow-men : yea, my whole soul thirsted to go ; and at that time found nothing of the fear of man or tlie storms and trials of a frowning world in the way : al- tliough before I had any liborty for my soul from the 40th Psalm, those words, as before obsers'ed, were spoken to me : '* Many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord." that ever Cod should make me instrumental in l>ringing one soul to the knowledge of a Saviour I O Lord, send me •with meekness and humility. '^ I spKNT the greatest part of the night in ecstacies of joy, praising and adoring the Ancient of Days, for his free ancl unbounded <,Tace, and rejoicing ihat Cod was about to V send m<' with messages of peace, and the glad tidings of f \. salvation to my fellow men ; and thought, if I had a thousand tongues, I couJd employ them all to spread the Redeemer's nanje, and to make manifest the wonders of his love to the children of men. () that they may taste and see the won- ^ ders of redeemin ^ love ! "* After I had been so long in tliis irariSport and heay- cnly frame, that my nature seemed to require rest and sleep, I thought to close my eyes for a few moments ; then the devil stepped in, and told me, that if I went to sleep, 1 should lose it all, and when I should awake in the morning 1 would find it all to be nothing but a fancy and delusion. I immediately cried ^.ut, O Lord Cod, can this be a delusion ?' OLoid, ifl am deceived, undeceive me. My soul was 1 [III 58 REV. HENRY ALLINE's Hi'! > iy ii 1 ill ■i 1 } . ' ■ \ i 1 1 i . ' ' immediately carried again beyond all fear of deception ; for I could rest all myeoncerns on the Rock of Ages, and found myself in the ai-ms of redeeming love. I then closed my eyes for a few minutes, and seemed to be refreshed with sleep ; and when 1 awoke, the first inquiry was. Where is my God ? and in an instant of time, my soul seemed awake in and with God, and surrounded by the arms of everlasting love. About sun-rise I arose with joy, to relate to my par- ents what God had done for my soul. When I came from my rpom, my parents were just arising. I immediately broke out, and declared to them the miracle of God*s un- bounded grace to me, which so affected them with joy, that it almost overcame them, and what made it more as- tonishing to them, was, because I had never made known to them the distress I was in for weeks and months and years ; though they after this told me, they had often seen me tremble, when discoursing about religion ; and that though I did not discourse about my own standing, yet that my expressions and conduct cHen manifested, that I had en inward storm. W^hen we had for some time discoursed on what I had passed through, 1 took a bible to shew theni the words, that were impressed by God on my soul the evening before ; but when I came to open the bible, it ap- peared all new to me, and I could not help mentioning ma- ny glorious promises I saw, and asked them many ques- tions about them, as if they had never seen them before : for it seemed to me, they never had ; or else, I thought, they would have told rne of them ; for how could they pass so carelessly by such expressions of love and condescension of an infinite God, as they now appeared to nie. I then went to prayer in the family> returned public thanks to God for his infinite goodness to me, an unworthy worm of the dust, 1 believe, as I have thought since, that it must have been surprising to them, to have seen me thus bold to pray in public, when I had never been heard to speak even one word of my own standing, nor ever known to pray either in public or in ^jrivate. O what happy hours wc now had conversing about the Redeemer's Kingdom ! I did not tell them any thing about my being called to preach, keeping that in my own mind ; although I huve since thought, it was the w ork of the devil, to keep it concealed, for it kept me back from public improvement, loiiger than perhaps LIFE AND JOURNAL. 39 ception ; for 'S, and found closed my 'eshed with s, Where is imed awake everlasting to my par- came from Immediately Cod*s un- with joy, t more as- ide known onths and often seen ; and that 'g» yet that liJit I had ■iiscoursed hew them poul the •le,. it ap~ >ning ma- ny ques- before : thought, hey pass ension of len went God for ■ht dust, ve been pray in ven one f either low had not tell keeping Jght, it it kept )erhaps ^il;.; * otherwise I might have done, and caused me to pass many a sorrowful hour, not knowing what to do ; 1 having no one to tell my mind to, or ask advice from, who perhaps mi^lit have been instrumental in (iod's hand )f helping m» out, and shewing me the way of duty. () how 1 now de- sired to be for God and for him only, and to live lo his glory and the good of souls. O let my days and all my hours be thine, And lead my hungry soul to truths divine : Set me from ev'ry eartlily lover h*ee, And let me spend my mortal days with thee ; To bring poor sinners round thy g-lorioui throne And give the praise, O God, to thee alone. () let me never leave my Saviour more "^ Till I shall reach that blest immortal shore, C Bound up in thee, thy goodness to adore, j March, 1775. Some account of my travels and the dealings of God with me from the 26Ui of said March to May, the year following. Little did I think now that I should ever have any doubts about my own state ; for, I thought I should have nothing to do, but rejoice and walk in the light of God's countenance. I must acknowledge, that 1 lived a consider- able time without any distressing doubts. I used now to walk out in private for hours and hours, and conversed with God oftentimes as with an intimate friend, and feasted on his love. The vanity, the pleasures, the grandeur, the es- teem and the riches of the world appeared but empty sounds and shadows to me, and my soul rejoiced in riches and pleasures unknown to the world. O the happy days and nights I often enjoyed. 1 was enabled to forsake all my vain companions and pleasures, and was determmt;d to bid them an everlasting adieu : and although I had b<.:fore for nights and nights rolled and turned on my bed for fear of death, judgment and eternity, but now my heart v/ouM oftentimes leap for joy at the prospect of death ; for I doubted not but I should go to my Father's House, and re- joice in bis love forever. Oftentimes when walking out in the evening I would look up in the air, and think how my soul would rejoice to see the Judge of all the earth appear, who I doubted not but was my everlasting friend. The great trials that 1 now passed through, and bur- dens that I laboured under, was respecting my cull to the ministry ; the prospect of which,and how 1 should ever come 49 RE.V. HENRY ALLINE^S )ll', •r m I 'i ill ii; hi iii 111 !■ i si i oMt, would enj^ross almost all my serious medita- tions ; for I "u us convinced that 1 must preach, but knew not how, where or when. I was often afraid to come out, »nd often ]ono;ed to come out : yea, wJierever I went or whatever 1 did, 1 thought of little or nothing else : 1 would go to the Lord Vv ith it in all my prayers, pleading with him to shew me which way to begin. It was now published abroad that Henry AUine was turned a New-Light ; for I talked much with young peo- ple about their evil ways, and what a wretch I had been in going with them in the way that led to death. Being one day at work with a young man, that had married my sister, lie asked me, whether a man might not be born again, and not know it ? I answered very positively ; No, by no means, for although, said I, they may not know the very day or hour, yet the change is so great, that they will soon know it. This struck him with a great sense of his danger, as he had a hope before, though I did not know it then ; and it never left him, until he came out rejoicing in redeeming love ; which was but about one day after. Thus the glo- rious work of God began to spread in that dark land. It was astonishing to sec how the conduct and behaviour of the young people was changed'; frolicking ceased, and ma- ny began to be something thoughtful. I had been a leader of almost all the frolicks in the place, and therefore, al- though some of the youth were not awakened, yet they seemed to be deprived of opportunities to carry them on ; and some became much engaged for the knowledge of a Saviour. O the reasonthati shouldhave toblessGodallmy days, if I could labour in the Redeemer's cause : yea, I tiiink if God would give me my rec|uest, I would rather go in his name to my fellow men with the messages of peace, rhan to be a ruUr of the whole world : and sometimes I so longed to be useful in the cause of Christ, in preachihg the gospel, that it seemed as if I could not rest any longer, but go I must and tell the wonders of redeeming love. I lost all taste for carnal pleasures, and carnal company, and was enabled to forsake them. I still remained under a great weight respecting my call to the gospel mhiistry ; not knowing what to do, what t© say, or where to go. Some- times, wh^n I got something cold, T would think, that it was all in vain for me ever to try ; for it was impossible for me to come out, and attempt to speak in public : but when *s niedita- ^I't knew come out, >vent or ^ would ^vith Jiim nine was "iig- pC'O- d been in '^^ing one 'iiy sister, l&'iin, and o means, day or on know "ger, as t'» ; and t^ieeming- tile gJcL and. It viour of and ma- • a leader 'oi'e, aJ- et they ni on J fe of a «dJ my yea, i ler go peace, s I so igthe r, but f lost I was ?reat ; not )me- it it ?for hen LIFE AND JOURKAL 41 4^ I got near to God, and my soul filled with his love, I saw I must 9;o, and 1 longed to go, for it would have been very easy for me, believing that God would go with me : but still the prejudices of education and the strong ties of tradi- tion so chained me down, that I could not think myself qualified for it, without having a great deal of human leani-^ ing ; and although I sometimes had not the least doubt, but God had called me to the ministry, yet I could not be- lieve, that it was his will, that I should preach, until he had found out some \\ ay to get me quaUfied by human assis- tance, for I thought I must go, but could not go without learning, neither could I believe that God expected that I should go without it. O the strong chains of tradition, and the great prejudices of education I how many trials and heavy hours might I have escaped,. if I could have believed that God would or ever, could call any one to the work of * the ministry, with no more human learning, than v/hat I had ; or could I hav».believed that I was then called to go as I was. O, there Was nothing but what I could have gone through or suffered, if I might thereby have been qualiilied to go. Sometimes I thought the prime of my days would be over, before I had found out any way for me to come out ; and that I could not bear. O, my days were fleeting away, and nothing done. I longed to be at work before the day was over and the night come when no man can v/ork ; and then, O then, I must quit the world, and never be useful to souls. O how impatient was I for liberty, that I might be employed in the cause of Christ ! About April or May, I made known my mind to a man that married one of my sisters, who had been a chris- tian some years. It seemed to rejoice his heart to hear that God was calling me to the work of the ministry ; and told me, that he was convinced by what I had told him ; and said he would spare no pains for my encouragement. He asked me what kept me from coming out immediately. I toldhimthe whole reason was,becaasel had not a sufficient degree of human learning. O the prejudices of education and strong ties of tradition. He was under the chains as well as myself respecting human learning, in some degree. He advised me to apply myself immediately to reading and studying, until some door opened to me to attain to more learning. I still continued restless in my mind^ not know- D J T' m W. 42 «EV. HKNfiy ALLINE's • 'eft lo stone S, ^d t" dis'" '''°"' P'' '^^"^nt. ' Th:'r ^ 7s kind, ^d ji^, no tavrr^'-^Se '"« ; butttill ih^tvl of h,s love and intentio mo w/^'Jr'''"'"' ^ "e^on 4^^ P'-each until I ad . '°'\^ Persuasion, Um '. , f''''"' ' • proceed to New^tS'"'^ l"""'"^^' ""d 4 uefoTe '"" to get learning tl»:rfH' '"'^ '^"''eavour some' r.v n^ "f "' means or other ifhL , ^ '^e provided for i '"^^ ;v4'sve,y indulgent to ^^e"t?';^°"^^'"'' «^ 'hey 4^^^^ S' '°S "r™' ^- ' -s"gorrtn;v ers in I '"'°,"''^ ^^''^ 'he only on?r h f ^''"^ Cornwal- tis in law, and he has been llhT,- "''' excepting broth vve were about to part, Uomt^'T'' ^""^ years. Svhen 7 gav? "f good advice, thou *,?l7r'"^ ' ''^ immediate" '■e advised me to return ;^^- '"^ "ot see it thm . r culled me to preac ,' 1™ ^^^1'',^ '^"^'" f"'' if Ood" ht[ ought to come iiWediat'eVotrihe^t. --& step^'fo^^l t' :u.^h /sralSitt-dsi-r - P-^e tf to^?^ -s not^Zirr so° n'^rrf^'ht'f '°"'"' *"« t^e vessel »«• I was impatient to be^^ii li^'f ^"^.^ ^ great trial to txi % i 4- LIFE AND JOURNAL. ii 'iew iliat I out college and strong The devil II the Lord lonstration ith me and d all fear ; could not fore must ^y or other ith of Oc. '' for me, \Sot but a :oncerned hy some Its that I for what ; "vvere al- at desire ■^ny relii- of young he time "gland. ay with ornwal- ^ broth- WJien lediate- -n ; for od had for I J) and to it, He great Vessel iai to pass- with ■appy itely,. 1 ■& as God might have led me. I remain jd a few days, and heard that the vessel was seized, and would ncl get clear until the Spring. O the trial that 1 was now under ; the devil setting in .it the same time, tellh-.g- me, H-night i.ow be convinced, tlv.it God had not called mc to pi-eacl:, be- cause, ii" he had, he would have found out ways for me to have gone, and get learning, as he knew I coidd not preach v/ithigregationals ; for we did not think that such small non-essentilals, as different opinions about water Bap- tism, were sufficient to break any fellowship, and to obstruct building together among the true citizens of Zion : and the Lord owned and answered us, and blessed us by increasing the gifts, graces and the numbers of the small, feeble band. Bcitthc powers of darkness and church of antiQlirist rose i Uri AND JOURNAL. 49 '1 from thf reused my to preach and found ; m^; threat e Avonders watch for awe, and e hand of :l wrought od for the vate walks, it^ of ; and ind him on- lat I would he Gospel, I did rtally my F.cculav )f the Lord •y thoughts means of ny soul re- y christian church, to been some tie articles, tides were thren. I 1 us. The er church - :, in those dry form ith of 13 ap- that such ,vater Bap- to obstruct n : and the increasing eble band, hrist rose / njjainst it from every quarter, both in public and pri- vate. We then returned to Falmouth, where I remained preaching every Sabbath imtil the 27th of October, when we went over to Newport again,and set apart by ordination two elders : this was done without any assistance from any other church ; and these elders came forward to lead the church,^, as far as their gifts and graces extended. - November 3d. As I was invited to Horton, I preach- ed there two sermons on the Sabbath-day, which seemed to have much effect, and gained the attention of the people. I was desired to preach again in the evening, which I did, and the Lord was there. It was a strange thing \o seq a young man, who had often been there a frolickmg-how preaching the everlasting gospel. The people seemed to have hearing ears, and it left a solemn sense on some youths. I remained there till Tuesday evening and preach- ed again ; when there was such a throng of hearers, that the house could not contain them ; and some of them were that evening convicted with power. As I was returning home to Falmouth, I met a young man who desired me to attend a funeral. I accordingly went, and preached a ser- mon, and there was a great solemnity on the people, I saw there a young man from Cornwallis, who desired mc to come over there as soon as possible ; he would inform the people of it and get a place appointed for meeting ♦ I told him I was willing to go wherever God called me, and would oome there, if it appeared to be my duty, as soon as possible. I then went home to Falmouth, and preached indif- ferent places, and the Lord was with me. We had blessed days; for the Lord was reviving a work of grace. Many under a load of sin cried out what shall we do to be saved ? and the saints seemed much revived, came out and witnes- sed for God. In a short time some more souls were bom to Christ, they came out, and declared what God had done for their souls. O what a blessed change had taken place in that town. O may the praise resound to the Redeem- er's name. November the 29th, I set out for Cornwallis, rode as far as Horton, and from thence to Cornwallis. Being wea- ry and very wet (for it had rained very hard that day) I stopped In the borders of the town that night : the next ' 'I 10 REV. HENRY ALLINL's r i II ;i- ^, morning being still wet, I was something discouraged, fearing 1 should lose the opportunity of preaching ; being a stranger in the place, and my horse being taken lame, 1 was obliged to change him. I then rode to the further part of the town, where the meeting was appointed ; but the people, not expecting me to come by reason o.f the weath- er, had not assembled, but when they heard that I was come, they immediately gathered a large congregation time enough to preach one sermon : the Lord was there, and gave me great freedom ; I was wholly undaunted. In the evening 1 preached again. The next day I rode about four miles and preached again, when the Lord began to set the word home w ith power on some of the hearers. Many peo- ple attended, hcanng that there was a wild youth lately con- verted and turned preacher. The standing minister of, and then at the place, came to hear, and seemed determin- I ed to dash me : but he and all the rest were to me then as worms of the dust like myself. He had been the minister of the town, but on account of some division between him and his people he was dismissed and did not seem pleased with my coming into the town. I returned to Morton, where I preached two sermons as I passed throi • and God was pleased to take hold of the liearts of som^ »yi the hearers, and never left them, until they were brought to the knowledge of the Redeemer. 1777, January. O the astonishing goodness to me an unworthy mortal. I am sometimes astonished, when I consi- der what he hath done for me : but a short time ago I was in this very town frolicking and wallowing in all manner of sin and vanity ; and am now through the riches of free un- bounded grace, I trust in the name of Jesus, proclaiming the wonders of redeeming love. O that God would go on m mercy to me,keep me humble,and devote me to his praise. January 15th. I went to Newport where I remain- ed preaching for five days ; and the people being desirous to hear, anroclaiming |ould go on his praise. I remain - Ig desirous |y day. O precious lined there February, . lofGod. O lany souls, tain. I set I passed ! LIFE AND JOURNAL. 51 through, and came to Cornvvallis, where I remained but four days. I preached very often, and the people seemed to be alarmed and greatly -attentive to the gospel. I re- turned through llorton again, where I met with some op- position ; but God wus kind to mc, and gave me strtngtli U) iiice a frownin;^ world. Once a standhig minister got up vhile I was preaching and opposed, but the people jmid no regard to it and he left the house. O that Gud would open his eyes before it was too late ; for what a shocking thing it is that a man should pretend to preach that gospel, \\hich he is at enmity against, ruining his own soul and those of others. O the injury that is done by blind leaders to pre- cious and immortal souls. Yea I do not believe there are any men on earth who do so much damage to tlie Re- deemer's Kingdom, as those unconverted ministers. () that God would change their hearts. I then rode to Fal- mouth, spent some happy houis with Uie christians there in the blessed gospeU 1 went t»o Newport, and being in haste, preached there but two sermons, and then returned to Falmouth, where I remained until the 15th of February. The christians seemed revived, and some sinners under a load of sin inquiring after salvation. I then rode to llor- ton, and preached there, and foimd the Lord kind to me beyond all expression. O that I could continually live to his praise. I then went to Cornwallis, and got there in the evening ; but as they had heard of my coming, there was a great throng of people that attended, and there began now to be a considerable work in the town. A paper was drawn up, and signed by about sixty persons, entreating me to a- gree to stay with them for some time : but I gave them no other encouragement, than that I would visit them as often as I could ; for I dare not settle down in any place for a time, as it did not appear to me to be my duty. I went from Cornwallis again to Falmouth and Newport, and preached every day, for there seemed to be a thirst for the word. March the 25th, I was sent for to visit a young man, who had been a companion of mine in sin and vanity ; he never manifested any change, and deceased in about two days ; which was very aftecting to me, remembering how many hours and nights I had been with him in frolicks. 1 preached a funeral sermon and then rode to llorton, where 1 preached, and visited some under conviction, who seemed not far from the kingdom. I then proceeded to -o ..• \A v\y ■vv*.*^'*^*.^ / J X nuu iiot the- E2 f i'= i ' I'' 1 u li '\ l)l \ii i: ) 't' I; I HI I 'li 53 RKV. HENRY ALI.INe's Cornwallis, where the work of God was still reviving, and . there was a great opposition, as there njost commonly ig from legal professors and pharisees ; who made use of eve- ry method they could to obstruct the work ; disputing a- bout the right of ordination^ and the right door for minis- ters to come in, and would often come to dispute with me about it. I toid them I was very ready at any time to give my sentiment about the power and right of ordination either in public or private, and prove it by the word of God (as I . since have done it from the press in a book entitled, Two I Mites) but still I chose to spend my time as much as possi- ble in somethinp- of more importance, that is, in preaching the gospel, and labouring for the welfare of precious and immor'd souls ; for I thought it more for the furtherance of my Master's cause to labour for the vitals of rehgion than to dispute about tht tradition of the fathers and exter- nal observations. Sometimes when I have met with a number, who came on purpose to dispute, w hen I saw tnem exercised v/ith a bad spirit, would leave the house, and told them, I would have nothing to say to them, when they dis- covered such a spirit. Sometimes they would follow me from house to house, and pretend, they were contending for the faith once delivered to the saints. I told them, I did not doubt, but they might think so ; for Saul verily thought, he was doing God*s service, when persecuting the saints of God. And thus the poor blind Pharisees will often contend about their poor dry forms of religion, and despise the spirit of God as a delusion, at the same time pretending that they are friends to the cause of Christ, wnd thereby ruin their own souls and those of others. May the 3d, I returned to Falmouth. O what differ- ent a])prehensions a prospect of death often occasions en a person's mind. 1 was now sent for by one D, S. on his death-bed ; who had been one of the most inveterate foes I had among men ; he would often curse me and threaten me ; but now when 1 went in the house, he reached out his hand, and in an affecting manner said, if he had done me any wrong, he begged my forgiveness, and would, if possi- ble, restore me four-fold, I answered I had nothing against him on my own account, neither had I, as I knew of, until then, discoursed with him concerning the state of his soul . He seemed very penitent ; and gave me an account of something ok light he lately receivedi and some manifesta- ti iving, and nmonly ig jse of eve- jputing a- for minis- with mc ne to give tion either God (as I tied, Two 1 as possi- preaching cioiis and rtherance F religion - md exter- :t with a saw tnem , and told they dis- ollow me nitending them, I ul verily uting the sees will jion, and ime time f Christ, rs. at differ- )ns en a ). on his rate toes threaten hcd out done me if possi- ; against of, until lis soul, ount of nifesta- LIFi: AND JOLTvKAL. 53 tlon of joy, which seemed rather to give one a hope of him, but I was not fully satisfied. He insisted on my company as much as possible until he died. I attended his funeral and preached a sermon. I remained in town until the 16th May, and then set out for Annapolis, as I had promised, and preached that evening at liorton ; the next day I rode to Cornwallis, stayed over the sabbath and preached ; and, blessed be God, although there was much opposition from earth and hell, the work, of God was still reviving. IVIon- day evening, met with a number of men, enemies to j the work, wiih the minister with them, who conducted in so unchristian like manner, that I was obliged to keep my tongue as with a bridle, lest I should speak unadvisedly vvitli my lips. Indee'! the contest rose so high, and they disputed with so much w^n'mth, that I had not time to vindicate the truth, without proceeding in a manner I never was obliged to before. I took out my watcli, and held it on my knee, telling them, that I did not come there to wrangle with them, but to defend the truth, which I could not do for want of an opportunity, therefore I intended to allow each one five minutes to discourse, and I would have my five min- utes also, and if any man exceeded fi^ e minutes I would leave the room immediately. They seemed much sur- prised ; but I told them, they could not think it hard nor strange ; when they had observed that for some time, I could not say a word, but sat and heard them reflect ; after which I was enabled to the conviction of the spectators to hold up light and support the truth. But I may say at the best, such disputes arc very unprofitable, and 1 hope for the future to be more guarded against such waste of time, for 1 would rather have the enemy say, that I was afraid to hold the contest than to be guilty of spending time so un- profitably. The work of God was so powerful in this town, tiiat I preached sometimes two sermons a day for five or six days together, and the people attended in great numbers. I discoursed of little else but religion night and ^ day. May the 27th I set out for Annapolis from Cornwal- lis : and a blessed day it was to my soul. I had much of the presence of God, and faith to believe that God would go with me, and not let my journey be in vain : and although I was alone (with regard to company) yet I Iiad not the ' E2 !■ : [Mm \ ',i;i •^^ ! :l ill '■ . i ■ til i\\' ; li '.; 1 r 54 REV. ItKNRT ALLXNE^S least concern on my mind, though going among strangers, - and felt as wilHng to go and venture on the Lord, as to preach, where I was ever so intimate. I rode 24 miles, and although the people were very civil, yet I had so much ' of the presence of God, that I rather chose to be alone, be- cause it was hard singing the Lord's song in a strange land.. I walked out into the woods and spent most of the evening there, and enjoyed what the world knows nothing of. O the wondrous love and condescension of God to a worm of the dust ! What shall I say, what shall I think, or what re- turns shall I make ? How can the great Jehovah sstoop so low' To save my soul from everlasting wo, And lead me by his love 'vhere'er I go ? Amazing grace ! that such an heir of hell Sould ever in the arms, of Jesus dwell. The next day I rode 16 miles, and remained until the sabbath. The people gave greut attention when I preach- ed, but I did not see any great work of conviction on their minds. There was a popish priest amongst the hearers, who was greatly enraged, after the sermon was over, at the doci^ine I preached, but said nothing to me. The next day I rode with a young man to see the minister of the place ; but I soon found by discoursing with him, sufficient reason to \ fear, that the man was an utter stranger to conversion, and ' therefore preached, (or rather read) an unknown God.. The next day I crossed the river.. The committee of the meeting house on that side of the water came to desire me to preach. I went accordingly and preached, and great numbers attended. Soon after they came with a request, that I would tarry with them for a season, but I refused, telling them, I did not dare to do it, as 1 had no call from God to settle any where. I staid the sabbath over, and told them, that 1 would visit them as of tn as I could* I then rode down to the town ot Annapolis, crossed the river, preached a lecture, and visited many people.. But O the darkness of the land (called mristians too.) The name of conversion, or tie power of religion, was rai'ely mentioned. Their minister woiild only re?t! over an old dry lesson of morals and forms which tliey hiul written down. Blind lead- ers ol the blind, O that (iod would have mercy on them, and open their eyes, before they and their hearers fall irre- coverably into eternal ruin. 1 then rode again up to Wil- LIFK AND JOURNAL, 55 trangers, d, as to 4 miles, so much lone, be- (ige land., evening gof. O worm of what re- until the preach- on their hearers, r, at the Inext day e place ; eason to ion, and n God., e of the isire me id great Irequest, ] refused, lall from ^er, and )ukL I [le river, O the mine of >tioned. isson of id lead- them, fall irre- Ito Wil- mot, and preached 4 or 5 days there ; where, blessed bs God, there began to be a work of grace, and many were pricked to the heart, and crying out under the weight of their sins. Yea they were so thristing for the word, that when I came away 6 or 7 double horses came with me a number of miles. I then stopped and staid all night, and preached again the next morning ; then I bid them farewell and left them ; some seemed to be not far from tlie king- dom. And, blessed be my Lord and Master, for the suc- cess of my journey. Through his grace, I trust some of those souls will have cause forever to praise his blessed name for the messages r>f peace sent by me. a worm of the\ dust. When I came to Cornwallis I heard that there were'^ ^ two ministers come from Cobequid (without my requesting) ■ to inquire into my principles and preaching. Tin^y were men that I had heard of, but never seen. 1 went to hear them preach, and had reason to hope that one of tliem was a minister ol Christ, although something sunk into a form without the p^jwer. The week following they both came to see me with a number of men, whom I knew to be cue- • mies to the power of religion, which made me suspect, tliey did not come out of love and tenderness. However, though I had not requested their coming to examine me, I was very • ready to discourse with them. I vindicaied my principlea of religion. They inquired after my right to preach. 1 told them, I trusted my authority was from heaven ; but !• did not know whether it was needful to discover it to them, finding them much against tlie power. They asked me for my credentials. I immediately shewed them what I had from the ciiurch, which they condemned, because it was not from a soci ty of ministers : which caused a dis- pute to begin, they affirming that 1 iiad no right to preach,* W'thout a license from a society of ministers, and I affirm- ed that I had. They likewise thoug!it it next to impossi- ble for a man to be called to preach, wIvj iiad no college learnin;^. Rut the chief debate w^s about the nower of or- dination, which they pret/Mv'.ol was handed down by a sue- * ccssive chain from the A])o;>les ; w>.ich T endeavf>ured to shew them was too far brole i ever to retaii> the po-ver of or- dination that way, and toid t em T could ea*11y provt- it to be in the church. 'Thevseemel to reflect ba' d on avj. telling i me that I was breakinvi: thiout^h il' order. I 7here was J form ? and 'ders of God's pirit far more ions of men. peed. I told r»d I was es« )ved, they be- taking me an f; they could I was better is 1 imagined lew before he iian learning, [ualify me for besides, that hands, and told me they went away, cached often , )rd was with )lessed name Hortonand ) Falmouth, sisters, who 'tat distress, [yea to that ned the flesh d found the love, telling ers of God's great is his t I was al- three young eat distress K since been I remained )earedacon- i, inquiring ■ought to the ort, preach- eing able to / lit contain the people ; and the Lord was there with his Spir- it. I then returned to Falmouth, and from thence went through Horton to Comwallis, where I found the work of Ciod still prospering. A great number met almost every even- ing, and continued until eleven and twelve o'clock at night, praying, exhorting, singing, some of them telling what God had done for their souls, and some groaning under a load of sin. August the 3d. A committee was chosen by the people, and came with a request to me, that I would engage wilh them a certain season, because they wanted my as- sistance in gathering together m church order. My an- swer to them in writing was as follows :— In answer to your request as a committee I must ac- quaint you first — That although on account of the divisions now existing in this town you may reasonably imagine that it is not very a?!;reeable for me to remain, yet considering your destitute circumstances together with the desire of so great a number of people, and trusting thac the Almighty God ( without whom we can do nothing) will undertake to heal our divisions by increasing a christian like spirit of love among us, I must acknowledge as yet it appears my duty to rem? in. But secondly as the circumstances of the coun- try now is, I am under some obligations to visit the neigh- boring towns, which are alike destitute, for which reason I cannot reside here all the time ; therefore I have concluded) after my return from Annapolis, (if God permit) to reside here six months of the nine ensuing months. Thirdly as for many reasons, it has been in agitation for sometime, my further introduction into the work of the ministry, which cannot be effected until some better regulations (respecting the church affairs) shall be made, no w when by the com- mittees, church or members of the church gospel-meas- ures shall be taken to effect the same ; I shall then stand t-eady, as I promised, to proceed so far as directed by the word and Spirit of God. Fourthly and lastly. As for the methods and conditions of my being supported as a gospel- minister, I shall wholly leave it to your discretion and the word of God : and subscyribe myself The sinner's friend and servant, and well- wisher af your everlasting happiness, HENRY ALLINE. ill 111. ^ REV, HENRY ALLINE's I ,1 Which answer gave great satisfaction to both the commit- tee and the people. August the i4th. I set out with a young man, who came for me to go again to Annapolis. I rode through all the county of Annapolis, preached night and day, and vis- iting the people, found the work of God increasing ; some souls born to Christ rejoicing in the Redeemer's love, and others having no rest night nor day, but groaning under a sense of their condition. I'or my own part, (blessed be God) I found still longingdesires to serve those poor mourning souls in the name of my Lord and Master. Yea I thought there was nothing, that Go4«ould do for me, would make me so rejoice as to send me with glad tidings to poor perishing souls, and mourning sinners. I preached so often and rode so much, that sometimes I would seem almost worn out ; and yet in a few hours would be bo refreshed, that I could la- bour again for twelve hours in discoursing,praying, preach-, ing and exhorting, and feel strong on my lungs. O the goodness of God to me a worm i What storms and fa- tigues both in body and mind has he carried me through. O what happy hours have I enjoyed in his vineyard night and day. When I had preached through all the county, I returned to Cornwallis, where I expected to stay some time ; but there came a young man from Falmouth desiring me to come and visit some people, who were sick, and had a great desire to see me, I accordingly went. I had preached but one sermon and visited the sick but a few hours, when I was sent for from Cornwallis, to attend a funeral there of a woman, who died very suddenly. She was well and made her cheese in the morning, and died before ten o'- clock in the forenoon. I remained now in Cornwallis for some time s preached very often, and visited the people, es- pecially those under the work of the Spirit. In the mean while came some of the standing ministers, offering to li- cense me, if I would acknowledge, that I had done wrong, in preaching so long, though with the approbation of the churches, without a license from the ministers. I told them that I was so far from acknowledging that I had done wrong in preaching by receiving only the approbation or credentials from the church, that I still held the church to have the prerogative, and intended to use what influence I could until my dying day to .^estore that power, which the ministers had robbed the churches of, as far as God shall ed on the Sabbath in the field, the house pot being able to Y LIFE AND JOURNAL. 59 the commit- ng man, wlio ^ thrcugh all day, and vis- ising ; some :r's love, and ing under a ssed be God) mrning souls lought there make me so r perishing ;en and rode worn out ; at I could Ja- ng^ preach- es. O the ms and fa- e through, yard night e county, I sometime; esiring me lad a great cached but s, when I \1 there of well and re ten o'- iT/allis for eople, es- he mean ^ing to li- le wrong, 1 of the ^ old them ad done :)ation or hurch to iuence I hich the od shull enable me. After this I went to Falmouth, where I remain- till the 26th of October, enjoyed some happiness, aiid hap- py days among the people of God ; then went to Newport, remained there about three days and returned to Fal- mouth again ; and much of the the goodness of God I saw and enjoyed. I shall never be able to express with my pen the various scenes, which I went through in my soul. Sometimes rejoicing and then in great trials ; yet I am ^ convinced that it will prove for my good. O tluit I could ' always keep near to the meek and lowly Jesus. Bear me, thou nieek, thou everlasting dove. Above my trials on the wings oHove ; • f ' And grant me daily wisdom, lo^fl^and grace, That I with joy may run the christian race. I tHEN went to Cornwallis, where I found all my : friends well ; the christians all very lively in religion ; and some conrerts now declaring the sweetness of redeeming love, and what God had done for their souls. I oftentimes enjoyed much happiness among them, to sec them so cn- i gaged in the Redeemer's cause, and to see what love ce- mented their souls together. - The 20th November I set out for Wilmot. I ex- ' pected some company to go with me, but was happily dis- appointed, as they were not agreeable to me. I was much indulged with the presence of my blessed Lord and Master. O who would not follow the blessed Lamb of God, to enjoy what I have often found in his blessed ways. I think I can say that sometimes I have rode miles and miles con- versing with God, and enjoyed that which the world could never give, nor take away : sometimes I would get down from my horse, and step in the woods and rejoice for some , time, and often wrestling with God, to go with me, and give me success, and have been blessed with a satisfactory evidence, that I should see his work prosper before I re- turned. When I came below the tovm, I found the Spirit of God still troubling the waters, and some souls happy ; although the opposition was very high, especially from the minister of the place, and many of his church. O the dam- age that is done by unconverted ministers, and legal pro- fessors. I have found them in my travels more inveterate against the power of religion, than the open profane. But, blessed be God, although they left no stone unturned to ob- struct what they called a delusion ; yet the work still in- ing able tc^ «0 «EV. HENRY ALLINt'S l!!'. ;' I'd !|: 1':' I fl If creased, and Cod gave me such a sense of divine things, that I endeavoured to pass by all the reproaches as much as possible. December. When I had been through the whole county, and had visited and preached to all the societies, I bid them farewell, committed them to God and returned to Cornwallis. I found the kindness and love of my blessed Jesus continued to me still. O that my soul was more humble at his blessed feet. It was the 20lh December when I returned to Cornwallis, where I found some of the christians more 1 old to speak in public, which I endeavour- ed to encourage as much as possible : some poor souls bowed down and m«|urning under a sense of their guilt ; while others, poor unhappy souls, were making a scoff and derision at the work of God. O that thev knew in this their day the things that belong to their peace, before they are forever hid from their eyes. It was enough to con- vince any one that it was the work of God to see the enmi- ty, rage and darkness of that siprit, that was night and day engaged against it. Many of those who were called chris- tians would labour hoiu's and hours with harsh reflections on those who were attending, where the waters were troub- led, to keep them from it. January 1st, 1778. I went to Falmouth, where it was enough to make a christian's heart rejoice to see the alteration of things. A little time ago they were going on in all man- ner of wickedness, frolicking, sin and vanity ; and now meet- ing to praise the Lord, the great Redeemer of mankind, and thirsting after the word of life. Some, who a few years ago were the ringleaders to vice, now singing Hosan- nas to the son of David, and live so exemplary, that they are an ornament to the gospel they profess. O may the blessed Jesus have all the praise. O what great things has God done for this desert land I The wilderness is become a fruitful field, and the desert blossoms as a rose. When I had been in town about three weeks I returned to Cornwal- lis, where I had likewise blessed days and hours ; for God was there of a truth ; and I spent some blessed moments with them. One evening after I was in bed, I was very much troubled in my mind, which seemed to forebode no good. I got up in the morning under gloomy apprehen- sions of some disagreeable turn, and remained so almost all the day ; in the evening I preached, after which I invited V J divine things, ches as much gh the whole lie societies, I nd returned to of my blessed )ul was more ih December d some of the 1 I endeavour* le poor souls f their guilt ; ng a scoff and knew in this e, before they nough to COP- I see the enmi- night and day •e called chris- irsh reflections ivs were troub- i, where it was the alteration )n in all man- md now meet- of mankind, who a few [nging Hosan- UT, that they may the iat. things has is become a te. When I to Cornwal- s : for God Ised moments 1 was very forebode no ly apprehen- 1 so almost all lich I invited LIFK AND JOURNAI. ei / two of my christian friends to my lodging, one of them told me, he had had diirk and distressing hours for some time, occasioned by a certain text that bore upon his mind. I asked him what text it was. He answered the words arc these : Sleep on now and take thy rest : and he asked my mind about them. I immediately told him that it appear- Jk ed to me, the interpretation at that time carried a very ^ gloomy aspect. He asked me what I learned from them to us in these days. I answered him thus, while I was striving - with my spirit and labouring among you for the salvation of souls, intreating you to be up and doing, while the waters were troubled, by watching and praying, which you have too much neglected, while I v^s with you, and now sleep ;^ if you can ; for be assured there is a dying hour a coming. ' He said it expressed much the same to him. I then told ■:, him what I had passed through in my own mind the night before, and how it bore on my mind. We went to my ; lodging and about eleven o'clock at night, had us 1 may say ,' very suddenly such horror of darkness, as was said Abra- ham was once in. My whole soul was benighted, and a ; 4'^t:orm of temptation rose up against me so that I was oblig- ^^€d to say with David, The strong bulls of Bashan have be- ' ^set me around. O the darkness and distress of my mind. U'liis was the first distress, darkness or doubt of my standing " hat ever I had known since my conversion : for now I gave . iway to the enemy (it being new to me) so that I wholly 'doubted my standing, that I tried to invalidate all the evi- jdcnces I had since my conversion of having enjoyed the presence of God, and to throw it all away:' yet I found something like an anchor of hope within the veil, which I could not get rid of; though I tried much, and prayed to God to take it away. O the unspeakable distress I was un- der I I could neither eat, drink nor sleep with any satis- faction ; for it was wholly new to me, so tliat I knew not what to do, what to say, where I had been, where I now was, nor where I was going. O my soul cried out to some unknown God. Help, help, O my God : if thou art mine ; if not, O my God undeceive me. My darkness and dis- tress was without any relief more than a minute at a tin.e, •for three days and three nights (as Jonah was) and I could feay with him, that I was in the belly of I. ell ; I v/cnt down io the bottom of the mour.tains, and the earth v ith her bars F . X <52 REV. HENRY ALLINE's ,t:i I y> iiu^' ■; .i i'- M'ere about mc. But my God remembered mc, and brought me again to rejoice in the wonders of his love, and to triumph over the powers of darkness. (.) the un- spinikable happiness my soul enjoyed when God delivered me. I am convinced it was all hi great love, yea, of unspeak- able benefit to fit me for the work I had before me, which God knew, though I did not. O let me remember, and for- ever adore his love. Fedruary the 20th, I went to Falmouth, and found my christian friends happy. I related to them the unccinmon scene I had been carried through, and some of what I had endured, and did still endure, and how God had appeared for my relief. They commiserated me, and rejoiced that God had brought me through it, and told, that it was all in love to me, to prepare me for what 1 was to pass through, and to fit me for a great work, and v/ould alt at last prove for my good, and the furtherance of the gospel : it likewise proved a means of stirring up their minds, and tlie minds of many others. I remained in Falmouth until the 10th of March, prcacliing, visiting and exhorting both saints and sinners, and then returned to Cornwallis ; where I sooh saw that gloomy and distressing day, which I had before seen at a distance. The small pox that had been through other towns very favourably, was now spreading and proving ve- ry mortal. Religion was as it were driven away, but sor- row and distress were there ; for numbers were down rnth that malignant distemper, and very corhmonly three buried in a day. O what a day of darkness this was ; for they were all taken down at once, as they were mostly under inoculation. Thus the judgments of God are (often as it was now) so far from working a reformation, or increas- ing religion ^ that it seemed to banish it, and chain the people's minds down under an excess of sorrow and slav- ish fear. O what a desolation spread through the town, until every house was tried with sickness or death, and eve- ry face gathered blackness. i^ PRiL the 17th, I went to Horton, preached there as I went through : but religion was likewise low there. I then went to Falmouth, where I remained a few days, spent much time with a woman under strong temptations : she bad been under conviction, and w^as now tempted to believe, that there was no mercy for her. O how strong are the powers of darkness on the minds of sinners, when broke LIFE AND JOURNAL. 63 \ tnc, and of bis love, (.) the im- )d delivered of\irispeak- me, Avhich icr, und I'or- id found my unccinnion what I had ad appeared rejoiced that it was all in iss through, at last prove : it likewise dthe minds I the 10th of h saints and re I sooH saw 1 before seen irouc;h other i proving ve- tvay, but sor- •e down vath three buried '\s ; for they iiostly under e (often as it or increas- id chain the ■ow and slav- ^h the town, ith, and eve- led there as I here. I then days, spent 3tations: she :ed to believe, ong are the when broke A' loose. But l)lcss'jd be God, he is our helper still, and in i\im we may rejoice. I then went to Newport, preached in a large barn, atul there appeared some movings of Ciod's Spirit, after which 1 retiu'ned with some christian friends to Tahnouth, where 1 enjoyed great satisfaction, when in public. M w the 3d, a number being met to spend the evening, about ten o'clock came in a young man from ConnvalHs af- ^ ter me to go and see the womin of the house where 1 had boarded, who was at the point of death with tiie small pox ; this struck me to the heart, not on account of her death, but as to the state of her soul : for when I left lier last, she had not had any evidence of her conversion, but had been a long time under great distress. 1 immediately set out and rode all night; but when I came there (idthough I was grieved at losing her company, as I saw she \>as on the confines of eter- nity) yet my distress was removed, when I talked with her; for she gave me an account of her conversion the same day of my leaving her last, after I was gone. O how this rela- tion (especially finding it to be the gospel-work and having full fe'Iowship with her) made my heart leap for joy ; for my soul could witness, that it was a work of grace by the blessed Redeemer. She continued but two days, and left the world, taking flight, I trust, to the glorious realms of light. O shall I, shall I once join that sacred band, tell me O my God ; can it possibly be ? yes, through thy boundless grace it is, and I trust I shall. I staid at Cornwallis to at- tend the funeral, and I preached a funeral sermon from 1st Thessalonians 4th, from the 13th verse to the end. May the 27th, I went to Annapolis with a young man that came for me, where I remained about five weeks. O t!ie great goodness of God that I saw and enjoyed while there : but yet I am not suitably affected under a sense of his great goodness tov.ards me. O how can I ever get so cold as I do 1 O my Jesus, keep me awake ajid near to thy- self: let me never go a whoring ..fter other lovers. I went to Cornwallis, and when I came there the work of God was reviving again ; the chrissliuns seemed alarmed, some sin- ners awakened, and crying out after a Saviour, and some that had been awakened and gone back were again £;larm- =jed ; and there appeared a prospect of a revival. 6 the good- ness of God to me a worm ! what shall I render to him for all his benefits Wherever I go I find him kind to me : but \ I ■ 1 1 'I I I l! ^ I 64 IIEV. HEXRY ALLINt 5 when I talk of returnln;j; to God, I am left with astonish' ment of joy, tluit he h:\s declared, he w ill have mercy and not sacrifice. I iicver have, nor never can make the least return ; yet )iis mercy is as free as ever, and he delights t(i do f^ood. C) that I could be hiniiblc at his feet, feel my nrAhinj^neFs and acknowledge his goodness. But O the re- mains of pride and unbeli<;f: O how they hang upon mef and bar me often fioni a sense of his love. Sometimes 1 have my foes beneath my feet, and then how soon there a- 1 iscs a host aj^ainst me, and I am wandering in captivity ; yet, blessed be God, they cannot keep mre long ; my Jesu» gives me the vu tory again. July the 3d^ I went to Horton where I preached and fnjoyed some happy hours : Biit O my ungrateful heart, that it is not more uHected under a sense of God's good- ness ! Trom Ilorton I wont to valmouth, where I found many of the christians much indulg»'d with great discover- ies of divine truths, and m.anifestaticns of God's love to their i^ouis. One of my brothers-in-law (likewise a brother in Christ) began to speak in public, that had not done it before j and many of the christians v.ere so lively, that religion was I almost all their theme ; and some sinners under conviction still inquiring the v/ay to and after salvation. But O how dan- gerous is the case of those, who have been awakened, and tasted the word of God, and the powers of the world, to come l?v conviction, and ure turned back aeain to their vanities, as js often the Cftse. O the uhspeakabie danger, and the de- plorable condition of enlightened apostates. August 15th, I returned to CornwalUs. Many of my friends came to see me ; some of them were strong in the fuith, and some in doubts and darkness, mourning the absence of God. O the unhappy hours christians pass through, when in the dark ; far more unhappiness than the unconverted : for they have some carnal sweetness in the things of time and sense, but tl]jg christians find those pleasures to be wholly spoiled to them, and when they are not enjoying God, they enjoy nothing : but yet they would not change with uncon- verted and all their carnal pleasures fortenthousardthousuad worlds. The hypocrites may find some rest in their false con- fidence and apprehension of future happiness, and the Pharisee and dry moralists can many times lean contentedly on their dry forms and outward performances of religion ; hut tho christians, who have known and eaten of the heavenly food i astcnUh- KTcy unci the least ulic^hts t(i t, feel my O the rc- apon mfc> lelimcs I II there a- captivity ; my Jcsu* ached aiul elul heart, Dcl's good- :re 1 found it discover- ove to their brother in e it Ijefore ; eligion \yas X conviction O how dan- Ikened, and li Id to come vamticsp as land the de- Fany of my Ironc; in the [the absence lovigh,when Iconverted : igs of time , be wholl y God, they irith uncon- fdthousdiad Ir false con- lie Pharisee \\y on their |n ; hut thvO ivenly foo4 ;* LIFE AND JOURNAL. ^5 from the blessed Redeemer, C'\n neither rest on their exter- nal perrorriiwiiH.cs, on tiieir past experiences^ nor on their expectations of future happiness; for they are thirsting af- ter the present ssveet eiijoynient of (iod and the manifesta- tion of his love : and will often sav, in times of darkness, with David, My days are consumed like smoke, my loins are burned as an hearth, my heart is smitten and withered like grass, so that I forget to cat my bread ; I am like a pe- . iican of the wilderness, or an owl of the desert: / watch and am as a sparrow alone upf)n the houso top. And say with Job, O liiat 1 knev.' where to find him, that I might come even to his seat ; I would order my cause before him and till my mouth with arguments. Well they 'have this .,to comfort tliem ; He that loves them, will love them to the !>cn(\ ; and although he hides his face for a little moment, yet with everlasting goodness will he visit them. ' Lei those that mourn his absence wait; *'"' A For God beholds tlieir mourning i>tate, I And will return again. His arms of liwe shall wipe their tears , , And banisii all their doubts and fearsy And .ill their foes be slain. , - i I RKMAi>fKD in Cornwallis, preached in different parts 6i the town, and conversed with those imder distress until the 23d of August, and tlien set out again for Annapolis.. Blessed be God for wliat I enjoyed of his presence on the Way. () it is blessed riding from place to place when I find God is with me. When I came to Wilmot I found the Lord still striving with his people, and found some of his children appeared bold in his cause. As I was sitting line day in the door of a house, when it thundered and Mghtened, a dry trunk of a tree, and a large elm were •truck by a flash of lightning before the door. O the great goodness of my Maker God, , To send the flaming sheets of fire abroad ; Make rugged elms, and stately trunks endure ^ The blazing shock while I am held secure. Mark how the bellowing thunder roars around, ^, « Makes pillars bend, and shakes the solid ground t While I with wonder safely stand and see The flanrnng scene, guarded from injury, O Jesus, Jesus, let rae love thy name, — * . And cheerful sound thine everlasting fame. F 2 ■^s \ (i; j »! ^1 REV. HENRY ALI.INt'b I WENT down tq Annapolis, where I preached ofteir^ had great trials of mmd, and some happy hours. About the first of September 1 was taken with a very sore throat occasioned by a swelling, which continued some days ; so that I could swallow nothing but a few spoonfuls of liciuids- for my support, but was enabled to speak in public when at the worst, to my own astonishment, and the astonishment of others also. But O the goodness of God. In about six days it begun to abate, and went wholly away in a few days^ after. I continued riding and preaching almost all the time, and the Lord's work prospered under my hands A- bout this time I was threatened to be abused by a number of ruffians, but they were not permitted to do it. O may they see and consider, before it is too late ; that their souls might be saved in the day of Christ's appearing. And O that I might always have a heart filled with love so far as to pity them and pray for them. After I had seen, preached to, and conversed witli all the societies in the county, I returned to Cornwallis. O what returns shall I make or what shall I say, of the in- finite goodness of God ; or what shall I do with this un- grateful heart of mine, that is no more affected under sucii expressions of God's love, and care to and of me. Nothing was scarcely talked of now among numbers where I preach- ed but religion. Wherever tliey met, their langu^tge was the language of Zion, and telling what they had enjoyed. I then rode to liorton where I saw the work of God among his children. The day following I rode with 9 or 10 to Falmouth to meet the christians there, and to commune with them ; and thus the Lord increased the numbers and boldness of his children. The christians at Falmouth seem- ed at first to be but weak, and few in number, but were now increased in gifts, graces and numbers. O the happy day? that we enjoyed, while anti-christ was raging all around us, and said that we were all under a delusion The Lord in- crease such a delusion over the whole earth amonp- all the in habitants of it. On the Sabbath I preached two sermons, and it was a day of God's power among the christians pres- ent, and some sinners were pressing into tlie kingdom ol God. Yea, it seemed as if they were determined to take the kingdom by violence, O Jesus, help them and carry on thy blessed work* ^ \ 4 cached ofieir^ )urs. About y sore throat nic days ; so fuls of licjuids- ublic when at astonishment In about six in a few days hnost all the ly hands A- )y a number of O may they at their souls "in 15. And O love so far as on versed witii ornwallis. O ay, of the in- with this uu- :ed under such me. Nothing here I preach- langurige was had enjoyed. of God among :h 9 or 10 to to commune e numbers and almouth seem- •, but were now the happy days ; all around us, The Lord in- Tionfr all the in I two sermons, christians pres- ^e kingdom ot rmined to take m and carry on LIFE AND JOURNAL 6r I REMAINED somc time in Falmouth, then went to Horton and Cornwallis where I preached often, and saw thr; goings of God in his sanctuary. The opposers were much ■• engaged in reproachmg the cause of Christ. One evening being desired to preach at a man's house, who would some- times get drunk, a number of enemies contrived to get him drunk, and send him home drumming- (as he was a drummer) to disturb the meeting : but God frustrated their evil design. The man being out at work in the woods, was expected to go home about dark by a tavern, which was between him and his house, and tlie way he commonly went home from his work ; but directed by Providence; he went home by quite a different way ; though he knew nothinc; of their design, as he told me afterwards, and suid if he had gone the other way he might been overcome by liquor, as he was given to it, and have done what they desired, if Be- ing requested, I attended now a meeting of somc of the bap- tists in Horton, to advise about gathering a church there. may the time come when Ephraim shall no more vex Judah, nor Judah envy Ephraim, and that there might nev- er more be any disputes about such non -essentials, as water baptism ; the sprinkling of infants, or baptising of adults by immersion ; but every -one enjoy liberty of conscience. They gathered in church order, and made choice of one N. Person, (who was not endowed with a great gift in the word) for their elder ; intending to put him forward, until God gave them some better one, or brought him out more in the liberty of the gospel ; after which he "vvas ordained^^ 1 then went to Cornwallis and preached there for a season. Blessed be God, I had great liberty in inviting precious and immortal souls to the glorious gospel, and found my de- sires were strengthened, to spitad my Master's name ; yea I was never more happy, than when I was preaching the gospel, and found my soul engaged ; and thought I could travel over the whole world to proclaim that Jesus reigned, I REMAINED iu Comwiilhs until the 1 7th of Novem- ber, and then v.ent to Horton, preached there ; and from thence to Falmou'h ; was still blest with a great sense of the worth of souls and the sweetness of redeeming love, and longing to be instrumental in bringing many poor per- ishing souls to share with me in that love. December the 12th, I went to Newport, had some happy hours in my own •oul, and fouint some siniRrs under conviction, but none of 68 REV. iienut alline's :|ll I Si! '•J W' HI' I .N \'\ ill; ■' Hi I U :1 It ;' •! .^ tliem brought out since I was last there. O the danger of lingering on tlic plains, as souls too often do under convic- tion, and many have been left there forever. O that sin- gers might be av^'akened by the Spirit of God, and that they would let all go for Christ's sake. I RETi'uNED to Falmouth and remained there until the Sth of January, 1779, and then went to Cornwaiiis, where I Ibund the Kedeenier's Blessed Kingdom still re- viving. The '2'.ld day of said uionth I met the Congrega- tional Church to consult about methods for my ordination, tiiat 1 miglit be more useful. I told them, if I might in any degree be more uselul by the imposition of hands, than what I was now, 1 would rejoice^ The church proposed to consult with the otl.er churches in fellowship, to which all agreed, that if they would assist, as I doubted not but they would, 1 should be \^•iIling to receive the imposition of hands, altl'.ough I never expected vo be settled In any place ; for I would ralher stand wholly alone in the world, than to go contrary to the gospel, or join in affinity with those churches that held the form of godliness without the pow- er. I likewise told them, it might be for our encourage- ment ; that althougli we first gathered a few in number, and Lvontended for the puv/er and liberty of the gospel, with the powers of darkness ; yet the hand of the Lord had been with us, and watered us with the spirit of love, increasing our numbers and graces, and I trusted, he still would, if we went according to the gospel. Some of the christians seemed afraid to come out against a frowning world and the will of many christians. I told them it was very evi- dent, that they never had stood up for that which we be- lieved to be the v/ork of God, which our souls and many others had rejoiced in, and therefore how could we think them to be the ministers of Christ. I entreated them to stand fast in the liberty whereunto Chi ist had made them free ; and by no means join with the church of anti-christ ; and for my own part I utterly refused any assistance in my ordination from any of them, that 1 did not believe were in the cause of Christ, and I believed that God would stand by me and bless me if I followed him in the gospel. The 23d of January I set out again for Annapolis ; being very cold, I rode very fast and was something worri- ed. O the goodness of God to me, in keeping me from any accident, and my nature from being overcome by the y LIFK AN*D JOURNAL. 65 5 danger of icier convic- that sin- id that they there until Coinwallis, m still re- Congrega- ordinirtion, might in lands, than pi'GpvOsed y to which ;d not but position of iiiy place ; d? than to ^'ith those •, the pow- ncourage- mber, and with the lad been ncreasing- uld, if we :hristians 'orld and ery evi- 1 we be- ^d many ve think them to de them i-christ ; ♦ 3e in my ^ve^e in d stand lapolis ; ; worri- e from by the ,# Severity of the weather, and in blessing mc with his pres- ence. O the unbounded goodness of (iod to his creatures ; ten thousands of praises belong to his name. O may I forever bear my part with all the followers of the Lamb, hi the lofty strains above, where I shdl see my Jesus face to face. O my God, give me this for my everlasting portion ; let me be thine, and thou be mine iur ever. I remained in Wilniot about eight days, and then went down to Granville and Annapolis My friends were rejoiced to hear the gospel ; but there were none brought out of late to the knowledge of Christ. O tlmt the Redeemer's kingdon* might nourish and spread from pole to pole, and bring thousands and tens of thousands to embrace redeeming love and praise his name. When I went down the river I found some much engaged after Christ. Every evening, almost every wb.ere, where I put up, the room was full to hear discourses and exhortations. I was now sent for by one Mr. F. a minister of the church of England, to see him : and was enabled (when he discovered his Arian prin- ciples) before all the society to hold out the truth of the gospel, warning him of his danger, and charged him to for- bear destroying souls. February. I returned to Wilmot, preached indif- ferent places, and the word seemed to have effect. I thca set out for Cornwallis with some christians, that came for me from thence^ where I returned in peace and safety on the 58th of February. O how many stonKis wet and dry, with foes without and foes within, have I been through, and , the Lord stood by me, and carried me through them all ; neither have 1 lacked any thing. 1 found there three or four, which I had reason to hope, were born to Christ since I went fro7n thence, now rejoicing in the God of their sal- vation, and si'nging praises to the King of Glory : and ma- ny others bowed down under a great sense of their lost and \mdone condition. O that God would carry on yet a bless- ed work, and bring many precious and immortal souls to shout forth the Redeemer's praises. I remained a while in Cornwallis, preached as often as my bodily strength would admit ; and then went to Falmouth where I met the church to conclude about my ordination. I found there al- so one woman brought out of the horrible pit nnd miry clay, and her feet set upon the rock of Christ, with a new song ill her mouth, even praises to the God of her saWa- "hiiK '0 REV. HENRY ALLINE's ll'!-' : li t l;lf tion. I then went to Ilorton, wliere the work of God was reviving ; so that I remained there five days, preaching- every day, and the house of worship was throni^ed with hearers. Four or five were brought out by the Redeemer from great distress, rejoicing in the glorious way of hfe, and tellhig what God liad done for their souls. I went a- gaiu to Cornwallis to inform them of some of the proceed- ings of the church, and returned to Falmouth and Newport, and appointed a time of meeting for a general council to , proceed to ordination. ^ Vs April 3th. We met from the three churches. One of Horton, one of Cornwallis, the other of Newport, and Falmouth met ; held a day of fasting and prayer, and con- cluded to proceed the next day. April 6th, met in a large barn to proceed to ordination ; and after prayer and sing- ing, and a sermon preached, I received the imposition of hands by nine delegates, three chosen out of each church : after, we sung and prayed. Then they gave me my cre- dentials signed by the delegates. 1 1 went then to Newport, preached there, and returned as soon as possible. 1 went to Cornwallis, where 1 found a vessel, that was going to the river St. Jolm's, where I had been expecting to go, and waited only for God to open a door, firmly believing,, that he would not only send me there, but likewise bless my labours there ; and my soul longed to go in the name of Jesus. I spent some time in Cornwallis visiting my friends, especially those under conviction, who seemed loth that I should leave the place, as they are too apt to lean on means, and often bar a blessing from their souls. I en- deavoured to make them shake it off, and to shew them the necessity of going immediately to Christ, and lean altogether on him. I preached often and saw the work of the blessed / Kedeemer thriving. We spent hours in praying and sing- ing together, and then parted. All the christians seemed to have a spirit of prayer for my success. I bid them farewell and sailed from Cornwallis the 25th day of April. In about three days we got up the river St. John's. The people heard that I was come, and came on board to fetch me ashore. The next day a number of the church met i they related to me their broken state, and the dark- ness of the times. I laboured as much as possible, and soon got information of the state of religion and the senti- ments of the people. I found there v/as a number of sin* LIFE AND JOURNAL. DfGod was 5 preaching- ongecl witli Redeemer r-av of life, I Avent a- be proceed- id Newport, council to t'ches. One ;wport, and ir, and con- t in a large if and sing- iposition of ch church : ne my cre- o Newport, e, 1 went s going to ;ting to go, believing,, ewise bless the name isiting my eemed loth : to lean on uls. I en- w them the altogether the blessed 5 and sing- is seemed bid them y of April. St. John's. n board to he church the dark- ssible, and the senti' )er of sin* 71 cere christians, but very much under trials and discourrior- mcnts, and reproached by those who held the form wltliout the power of rehgion. When the Sabbath cair^e I prcach- [0' ed and the Lord was there, and took much hold of the peo- . pie. The week ensuing I preached t\ro lectures, and went from place to place, visiting the people, and incjuiring into their standing. O it was a grief to see sincere christians thus scattered up and down the moimtains like slieep hav- ing no shepherd ; and the accuser of the bretheren had sown much discord among the christians. There had been a church there, but had separated on account of the great- est part holding the minister to be an unconverted man, who afterwards went away, but the division still subsisted. I went still from place to place preaching often and visidng the people ; and God of his infinite mercy began a work of grace. Some christians much revived shouted forth the Redeemer's praise, and some sinners were brought under conviction. I spent as much time as I could, with all the members of the visible church, tryinpj to get them together, but all was in vain. Indeed, I fear tlie greatest reason was, some of them did not love the power of religion. It wovUd not have been of any servxe to have joined them, unless • tlieir hearts were changed ; but yet being members of the visible church, they did not see fit to exclude them from walking with them, if they had desired it. I then advised them, as many as could, to fenew the covenant, and to come again into chirrch order ; that when any minister of Christ should come amongst them, they might enjoy all the privileges of the gospel. Many of them seemed well satisfied with the proposal, fell in with the advice, and renew- ed the covenant. The greatest part of the old church, and. , (others likewise that had not joined, joined now ; and the work of the blessed God increased.and there appeared much love among them. O that God may increase our love and hu- mility. The church, that was now united again, sent re- peated requests to those that had not joined, to come and join them, and at the same time, if they could not, they were willing they should enjoy liberty of conscience ; but some still refused. I was so engaged in preaching and dis- coursing with the people, that for some time I could scarcely get time to put pen to paper ; no, wot for 4 or 5 days to- gether. I passed through many distressing trials in my , own mind, but the Lord would not leave me long without I i 111 ';! 72 >, REV. HENRY ALLINL'S £ !i! Hi reticf; and I enjoyed also many joyful and happy hours. O the goodness of God to such a wretch. 1 m as once, be- ing under great distress and trials in my own mind, re- markably relieved by the following words, lie knoweth the way that I take, and w hen he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold. O the g'^odness of Ciod to me a worm of the dust I Lord help me to love thee with all my soul. ... ' Well, the blessed hour rolls dn with speed, When I from darkness shall be freed ; And sin no more control : From storms 1 trust to take my flight ] > Up to the realms of endless light ; And love inspire my soul. The work of God was still increasing ; souls crynig out what they shall do to be saved, and christians enjoying great discoveries of divine truths. But O 1 found many, who in my judgment were unhappily deceived. O how broad is the way to hell. Some careless and secure, some building their hopes on the sand. O how di jadful is it for a man to go to the grave with full expectations of heaven, and to awake in hell. How shall we know^ a true from a false confidence ? Why it may be observed that those who have a false confidence are confident of heaven and happiness liereafter ; but those that have a true confidence are thirst- ing after heaven and the enjoyment of God while here. Again those with a false confidence complain mostly of outward trials and crosses : but those with the gospel turn of confidence complain mostly of the trials and crosses which they experience within. Again, those with a false confidence will tell of what they expect God will do for them hereatter : but those of the c;ospel turn will tell what God does for them in theiv souls now. And for the reason of the false confidence, the souls of such are imprisoned and see not their own disorder : and as for their joys, their animal spirits may be elevated with a prospect ot happi- ness, when the inmost soul is never touched nor redeemed ; and their light being darkness, they neither see their dan- ger, nor the importance, nor the difference. But the true christian's turn is such, that they having the Spirit of God, can discern their own vileness, and ten thousand dangers, •which the others cannot see. He that has the turn, that is after God's own heart, is also humble, and longs greatly to be free from sin, yea, from all sin wliatever, and to be l.lfE AND J0URN>\1,. n \ppy hours, as once, be- 1 mind, le- le knoweth me, I shall od to me a lee with all is crying out joying groat any, who in ow broad is ime building t for a man Lven, and to rom a false e who have happiness are thirst- hile here. mostly of ospel turn nd crosses ith a false will do for 11 tell what the reason mprisoned joys, their ot happi- edeemcci ; their dan- ut the true it of God, 1 dangers, turn, that igs greatly and to be rr.arle perfectly holy : while those of the other turn do not wholly hate sin. C) happy, hap^jy souls, whose treasure is above ; their love and holiness centre there, constrained by ^' the ties of love. Soon they shall safely reach '.he happy shore, Where doubts and storms and death are known no more. /, The last Sabbath 1 preached at St. John's river ; the people seemed so loth to go away, that we stopped at the meeting-house door, and sung and discoursed some time, and then I left them to go down the river. O how many souls may be hurled off from this mortal stage, before I re- turn there again. The next day I went down the river about ten miles, and preached a lecture, took my leave of them, and the day following proceeded farther down the river, encamped one night in the woods ; but as 1 hadchris- tians who carried me down the river, we had some happy moments there, and likewise in the boat. The next day I went to Mahogany, and preached there on Saturday ; and Sabbath-day morning a boat came for me to go to the town and preach there, which I did, and although it was a dark j)lace and the King's garrison ; yet I must acknowledge there appeared some movings of the spirit among them ; , ep>p-ciaily among some of the soldiers. But O the darkness of the place. The greatest part of the people f ouducted as if they were to die like beasts. I suppose there were upwards of 200 people there come to the years of maturity, audi saw no signs of any christian excepting one soldier. Yet although I was among such an irre- ligious people, the Lord was kind to me, and I lacked for nothir.g while I was there. An opportunity soon presented to cross the bay to Annapolis. When I came there, I found the work of God in some degree reviving : some in distress and in some sense of their danger. I was there brought to the knowl- edge of a Saviour afresh. But among all the reproaches, that I had before been through, I was never so wounded as now. A young man, who had been awakened under my preaching, (being tuined back from good beginning) de- clared that he saw me in bed with a young woman ; and that I never should be seen in those parts again. Many ' of my friends began to believe it, and now looked on me with coldness. I endeavoured to bear it, and the burden of G X li^i I 11 it r t I li II '-^ I i: '11 v;i< I 74 REV. HENRY ALLIN'E'§ h, and took no steps to prove my innocence, Lut only deni- ed the fact ; leaving it with God, to order the event, telling those who advised me to take the law, that 1 would leave it to my Lord and Master to clear my character, and \'ndi- cate the honour of his cause ; which he did in a short time, although the report had spread much. The young man was struck with such guilt in his own conscience, that he could not refrain the acknowledgement of it. He came out and declared publicly that he had told a lie ; that he had been imposed upon by the devil and his own malicious nature : and he appeared as great a penitent as almost ev- er I saw ; and he told me, that if it would be of any ser- vice, he would give his life to heal the wound, which he had given to the cause of Christ, and seemed as if he could never forgive himself ; and in a short time he was brought to the knowledge of Christ ; and came out, I trust, a sin- cere christian to the satisfaction of all the society. And en the whole, this report proved the removal of others which had been against me : for none could be more ix)si- tively affirmed than this was, and this proved to be wholly made. And thus I have learned to pay no regard to false reports. I remained preaching in the plaee, and the peo- ple thronged to hear the gospel ; some travailing in the pangs of the new birth ; cutting pangs^ unknow n to all but those who have experienced them, and a wounded spirit who can bear. Many and many a night I have sat up until twelve, one, two and three o'clock, labouring with distres- sed souls. But it is God alone that can heal, though he often does it by the use of means ; and many bar a blessing .from their souls by leaning on the minister; and many more by a prejudice against them. Two christians came ft'om Cornwallis to Annapolis hearing that I was there ; with them I returned to Cornwallis, and enjoyed happy hours in our journey. July. I found my friends well, rejoicing at my re- turn, and relating what God had done for them while I was gone. Some souls were added to the faithful. O dear Je- sus, what ails my heart, that I have no more love for thee. O how can I but be in a flame of love at this time. July 1 6th, I rode to Horton and preached there, but to my sorrow found some that had been awakened, turned back again. O the deplorable condition of those that turn- ed back again, and walk no more with Jesus. The next LIFE AND JOURKAL. t only deni- ,ent, telling uld leave it and >'ndi- in a short rhe young cience, that He came ; that he 1 malicious almost ev- f any ser- U which he if he could as brought 'ust, a sin- ity. And of others more jxjsi- be wholly ird to false d the pee- ing in the to all but dcd spirit at up until h distres- though he a blessing nd many ians came as there ; ed happy ray re- hile I was dear Je- ; for thee. riere, but :d, turned that turn- The next '// day I went to Falmouth, and a good day it was to my soul. I found my christian friends well, but religion amongst them not so lively ; yet still may we rejoice ; for although the religious fall, they shall rise again. Hearing that one of the brethren of the church at Newport was at the point of death, I went over, found him low in body, but happy in mind, triumphing over death and tl>e grave, 1 preached a lecture the next maining, ami then went to llorton and preached the same day. The last Sabl)ath in July I was iu Cornwallis, and met the church, when five members were added. I remained preaching tlie sweet mysteries of the cross, and enjoyed many happy hours in Cornwallis until the 3d of August ; then went to Hortoii, found the chris- tians revived. I then went to Falmouth and Newport, preached to them, visited many, and then took leave of them again for a season, expecting to go again to Cornwallis, An- napolis and St. John's : but to my sorrow I found tlie enemy /getting in among the christians in warm debate, and sowing (liscord about non-essential matters* O that ever christians should contend about that, which never was nor never will be of any benefit to their souls, (as is often the case) instead of contending for the truth as it is in Jesus. The first Sab- bath we had a blessed meeting ; five joined tlie church, three had joined the evening before. We had tlie sacra- ment in the field, because the house we had could not con- tain the people, that attended the public worship with us. Many of the christia! to land. to a small Avhat God ;ans of ccn- 1 Saturday John's in ord that I given by me a con- ding Offi- as to send , but went omething ially as it of God's the morn- d ; and I ce I was and like- of age. ssible af- and two iblic, and religion hristians A seemed not to regard it, but still pressed forward to the City of Rest. Many professors of religion not only oppose and reject the gospel, but likewise labour to prejudice the minds of others against the work of God. Wo unto them tliat will neitlier enter into the kingdom themselves, nor suffer thosse, that ?re entering in, to enter. I SPENT much time in discoursing and preached often. O that it might prove a blessing to their souls, and to be the glory of God. One evening a sincere christian came to me (l)ei!ig under such trials of mind as almost sunk liim in despondency) wringing his hands and crying, O what shall I do, or where shall I flee ? I fear I am deceived. (> tlic thoughts of having a false hope. If I were a christian, how could I live so far from God, and be guilty of so ma- ny sins ? Although he was such a man, that there was per- haps not one in twenty that lived so unspotted in the world. But it is a truth, that the neai'cr a soul lives to God, the tenderer is his conscience. The number of chris- tians increased fast, and likewise their gifts and graces. When I was about coming away, the church met, and gave me a call to stay witJi them as much as posssible. To which I gave them an answer as folio ws^— To THE Church of Christ i-n Maugerfield. Dearly beloved in the Lord,. Im answer to your request 1 dfesire under a deep sense of my own inability, not only to acknowledge my own un- worthiness to be called a servant of the Lord to his church ; but at the same time may the honour of God, and the wel- fare of precious and immortal souls ever excite a cheerful obedience to the call of God, while I am indulged to act on the mortal side of the grave ; accounting it the greatest honour that God can confer on me, to wash the feet of his saints ; and although 1 have yet no- expectation of being called to settle over any particular church or flock ; yet I dare not refuse the utmost of my endeavours to promote the welfare of the church of Christy where God in his provi- dence shall cast my lot ; and therefore as I am convinced of your being part of Christ's body, and settled according to the plan of the gospel, I can with cheerfulness go hand in hand with you, and serve you with the greatest delight both in public and private, when God in his providence shall see St to cast ray lot among you, making you the people of my G2 . 79 REV* IIENRr ALLINE's I I B ■ ■ I'' I, II '" I ;:( .' I' . '<> particuhir cure while present, and charge my memory while ah:- sinners. 'J 3Uie out re- pf 10 to IS fly, that I hat I might louth of the passage a- iie who was taken hold the knowl- 's brings a- lessed Jesus hed Annap- ressing into at liberty in "aim the Re- Many reproachei wcri cast out .u^aiiist the woik of God ; but all cannot obstruct it. Thj l.uid slill coati:)Me:> hii goodness, and the people of CioJ are much civ^agcd in Jii;i cause. IJut () what a shockin;.; thought it i.-i, tluU tiie oi.ly thing that can possibly make poor souls happy, audthe only way that God has, or could hnd out, should bj so opposed and rejected, as it is by many ; when God looks down IVcjui above with pity, to miU:e poor souls the heirs of his un- bounded love. And sending his heralds with a powerful sway. And hanrned souU tUe gospcl-sOUMd obey. Then legal priesti and phariseti engaije Ag-ainst llie Saviour with infernal rage ; Reject that love which woukl their souls redeem i Because against iheir pride and carnal sclunie. But sometimes I luve seen that their ragj and k> bour against the Redeemer's cause have been the means of doing good ; although no thanks to them, but when they have manifest'jd such spite against the cin istiiuis, us thai the blind world have seen it was from a dark region, and convinced they were wholly lead by a bad spirit, and tjierc- fure many have turned, and some, that before were vile, have met with a saving change. O it was a great joy to see some young mi^n, who had been profane swearers, now v/itnessing for God, nroclaiming the wonders of his love, and what he had done for their souls, and exhorting their former companions to flee from the wrath to come : and in- stead of meeting, as they often hud done, for carnal pleas- ures now meeting for the glory of God. One young man after sermon got up, and told what God had done for his soul ; and related the remarkable goodness of God in de- livering him from the jaws of the roaring lion and from irre- vocable, runi. Once when he was about drowning himself by reason of despairing temptations. Another time when he had sharpened his knife to cut his throat. lie thought he would go into another roomoftlie house first for a little time : the woman of the house happened to be in tlie room ; who (not knowing any thini.. () that the ?v'ofld were awake to know tlieir state, themselves and their Creator. Dkckmheti loth, 1 went to Cornwallis with two men in comp'.my ; and great was the goodness of God to my soul on the journey O I thought I enjoyed that, which the world knows I'othing of, and which my sou) esteems more th-m ten thousand worlds. But O my i.igratitude, cruel ingratitude ; how it still torments my impnsoned soul and bars me from enlargement of mind. The christians were sometmics bkot with liberty in their souls : but the work of conviction had been dec ining ever since the dis- putes began -about water baptism. O that christians would think what they are about, when warmly contending about such non-essential matters ; and that they are not only laying stumbling blocks before the blind world, but neglect also the vitals of religion, and the salvation of poor unconverted- souls. I went to Horton, had great freedom to proclair.i the Redeemer's blessed name ; and the Lord sent bless- ings bv me to- his children. The next day I went to Fal- mouth. The Lord seemed to be reviving his work again. One woman who was in great distress, when I left that town, was now rejoicing in the glorious plan of life and salva- tion through a blessed Redeemer. O that God would engage my soul and the souls of others to exalthisworthy name. But ah what are the praises of angels or men to God ? I soon returne,d to Horton and Cornwallis again, preached there often, and enjoyed some happy hours in my OAvn soul ; and many of the christians were so much indulged with the pres- ence of God, that they could scarcely speak. O may the name of Jesus get the praise. Oftentimes after sermon the saints would arise, exhort and witness for God. 1 went. LIFE AND JOURNAL, • I ) his > pil- word :, was ers of God, id yet [i how for so oUttle and e- awake men to wy which ;steems atitude, led soul wistians but the :he dis- iS would about [y laying ui^ain to Ilortor., found great liljerly in preaching : from thence I went to Ijalniouth. Iher^ had been a great fall of snow, and I beins^ alone, was most overcome, for the snow v/as so deep, that 1 was ol)lii^v:d part of the way to beat before the horse : but the Lord was beyond measure kind to me. I thought I enjoyed more happiness in all my troubles and worrying through the snow, than thousands who were in their cieled houses, with all which this world can give them. I enjoyed also t^-eat happiness with my friends in Falmouth, where I remained about 14 days. O shall I one day meet all the christians in the realms of e- terna! rest I Can it possibly be that I shall be one of that happy and blessed number, that shall rejoice for ever in the infinite Ciod, and solace myself in the unbounded ocean of self existing love ! After this i went to Cornwallis, found the christians something strong in the faith ; and all those that had professed to have met with a change, but two or three remained lively, and living witnesses of the glorious gospel : but many that had been awakened are gone back to sin and vanity, and the work of conviction declining ; and to my sorrow, some unprofitable disputes about water bap- tism.- I then returned to Horton, where I was much in- dulged with the presence of God, and liberty in the gos- pel ; but not much work appeared among the sinners. ;f February 2^. 1 went again to Cornwallis, saw some small movings among the sinners, and the christians stirred up. O that God would revive his own work again, and bring more precious and immortal souls to enjoy the won- ders of redeeming love. February lOth, I went to Horton and preached there, and from thence to Falmouth. I en- joyed much of Go and so, and arc l)aptizcd, join the churcli, come to the l.ordV table, and do tlicir best in those outward thinp;s, all will be well. And thus they ai*e miu'derini^ the precious and im- mortal soulr, about them. O that God would awaken and convert them, or remove them. And () that all maukincJ would believe that they need to be redeemed. Lord send thy cjlorioiis word abroad, ^ And shew the dying" world tlicir slate : , * Bring- them to feel the Christ of God, Before alas it is too late. About this time the work of God began to revive in Falmouth. Some nep;roes were taken hold of, and one came out and joined the church. Four white people at the same time joined the church, and God seemed to be espous- ing his cause : many ears were open to hear the gospel, and some inquiring after the meel: and lowly Jesus, whom they had long rejected, and despised. Ah the despised Je- sus indeed ! How many thousands in the w orld that dtspise the power of the gospel as the most insignificant matter, or as an enemy to their present and everlasting peace. O how is my heart sometimes affected at the thought of it. De- pendent on him, as we are, for every l^eitth we draw, and held up by him from our own helU and invited by his bleed- ing wounds to liis own bosom, and yet how little regarded. O that n>y head were waters, and my .'yes a fountain of tears, that 1 might weep day and night for the slain of the sons and daughters of Adam. O that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end. I HAVE seen in my travels that the christians, who had had a knowledge of the love of God, and the sweetness of his blessed name, would regard no trouble, nor spare no pains to attend the means of grace, where the gospel is preached with power ; while many of the unconverted would not only reject it, but seem to make their boast, that they could stand against it, or keep from hearing it. I have known many crying out, by way of reproach to the chris- tians, who held to the power of religion, and would always impress the necessity of conversion, Lord, keep me from such a conversion. I have often heaixl others, who were openly profane, say, I'll be d-m-d, if they will convert me. And some others would say, that they would convert their horses or dogs. O too shocking,^ too shocking even to be l.lli: AM J JOl'R.V.Vf. '•31 Ihad less no is luld jiey ive I'is- lys >in 5 re le. tliouc^lif. Thus tlie woi-k of cmvei-s'on, wliicli cost the blood of the Son of God, Ibi* which ?^'^n^t tlio world stinds, and on which aloro h:in;^s the etL-i'n.d And Miiulterahlc s^atc of all the race of A d:^;n, i:» ma' c\ \ % ^ I ««'/ \ ^ i^ i^ ^il i 97 REV. HENRY ALLINE S Some time when I have a small taste of redeeming- love, and find a nearness to Christ, I sec that beauty, and find that divine sweetness in his presence, that it seems as if I could not content myself to live any longer under such clogs and imprisonments : yet I long to remain to proclaim salvation to my fellow-men. Yea, I cannot say that I have such u desire for deatii as for liberty. O liberty, liberty. All things that were corporeal seem a clog, and every thing that was dark airl sinful a strong chair. It seems so un- reasonable to live on any thing but God and so unprofitable to my own soul, that 1 seem as impatient as a wild bird in a cage : for the ligl\t and liberty that I have obtained makes nie know myself and discover chains and darkness. () how often <.ould I say with Job, O that I knew where I could find him, tivat I might come even to his seat ; I would order my cause before him and fill my mouth with arguments. Ah when I get some small intercourse with Heaven, then I l)Lgin to see how little I have, and to open my whole soul before God as l)e lore a friend, and sometimes when I am thus blest, it appears as if I had almost obtained the victo- ry, and, if I could obtain a little more, I should he free, and live in the liberty of the gospel, which appeared just before me ; but instead of getting out, as I thought I soon should, i begin very unexpectedly and almost very imperqeptiljly to slip back again into my prison and chains ; and sometimes- I think, I was not watchful enough ; and will endeavour the next revival I have to be more engaged and certain to hold it : and when it comes sometimes, I am so attached to the present enjoyments, that i think notiiing about losing it, until it is gone ; and when I attempt to watch, I perhaps watch i.i my own strength, until I have watched it all away* O what a mystery I am to myself! August t'.e 28th, I left Cornwallis and went to Hor- ton and remained there preaching and visiting my friends* Some were inquiring after the blessed Jesus. ButO what little inquiring; was there to what we might imagine. O the insensil^ility of the fallen world, slumbering away the inoinents of proliation like the beasts. How many thou- sands are there in the world, that from year's end to year's end without asking themselvcs^what they are, where they are bound to, where they are from, or where they soon will be. Although their everlasting concerns are dependent on these few fleeting moments. How alarming would it be if LIFE AND JOURNAL. n jdeeming- auty, and seems as nder such ► proclaim lat I have Yy liberty. very thing ns so un- iprofttablc d bird in a led makes s. () how re I could oiild order irguments. ven, then 1 whole soul /hen I am the victo- le free, and I just before )n should, 1 qeptiUy to sometimes leavour the ain to hold •bed to the losin<5 it, I perhaps it all away* ;nt to Hor- [ny friends* iutO what lagine. O away the liany thou- lid to year's Ivvhere they ly soon Avill Ipendent on 3uld it be if I some angel was to inform them of tlie fall of a new made angelic glol)e v/ith all its innumerable inhabitants. How great would be our anxiety for a possibility of their recov- ery. But how much more affecting would be the next in- formation by an angel that a way of recovery was opened for them by the gift of God himself to their fuUen state,but was disregarded and rejected by them for years and ycM'Si while he wassufiering in their streets, in making use of ev- ery possible metiiod to get an admittance with his oflered grace. O how would it awake hi our hearts ten thousand queries, fears, griefs, resentment and ardent longings too big to be contained, and too confused to be expressed or regulated, and incupal)le of producing advice, or prosecu- ting the result. And thus, O thus and te?» thousand times more and worse than cur. be expressed, or even conceived, is the state and conduct, and unfathomable mis(M-y of the in- habitants of this moit.il world. O astonishing, astonishing ! Can it be that immortal souls, uplieldfrom tht-ir own self-tor- menting despair, and tiiat b ' the bleeding hand of an incar-» nate God, invited, alarme 1, persuaded, intreatjd and woo- ed by all the expressions and endearing charms of the heav- enly Comforter to flee to the arms of self-existent love, and take up xn everlasting al)ode in the realms of eternal bliss, and yet asleep, or rise in opposition to all that has been or can be done, and all this while all the miseries of an eternity of exquisite tortures and keen despair are threating every breath to engulf the unguarded throng ? Christ bleeding, dying, rising ; the Holy Spirit striving, hell threatening and the wide extended gates of heaven waiting to receive the self-condemned and self-tormented to eternal joy. And yet O must it be said, that the fallen world is sleeping, musing, rejecting, fighting and opposing all the endearing charms, cutting, chaining, tormenting and plunging them- selves down deeper and deeper into the bottomless gulf of irrevocable despair. O the wretched state of mankind ! Ah I how low are they fallen, and what a miserable con- dition are they in, and exposed to encreasing misery for ever. Sometimes when I have a small sense of man's wretched state ; O how my heart akes, and what shall I say, or what shall I do ? It is God only that can help them ; yes and would help them, if they would receive his help j but they love darkness rather than lijfht. H RhV. MENRY AI.I.TKe's I I A" Jcsvis, extend thy arms of prare . '.- * •♦ To save the poor unhappy ruc^'. ,* ^ • '* O pluck them from the gates of hell, Til at ihey may yet in glory dwell. Thp; 1st of September I set out for Annapolis county with warm desires to spread the Redeemer's kingdom, and as it is Ciod that gives those longing desires, they cannot be wholly in vain, nor utterly lost. And () I thought I could say many times when going from place to place to pro- claim the Redeemer's name, that I could freely give up soul and body for that end, and let mc meet with what op- position I might from any quarter whatever, if God was with me, I regarded it not, and could find a longing desire to be for God only, and to be spent for the good of souls. Yea and although my trials were great from various quar- ters, yp t 1 would not exchange stations of life with the greatest Monarch on the Globe. O wliat sweetness do I often find in the greatest storms, when I find my Jesui nigh. Let all the siorms of earth engage^ , . ,- And hell with her infernal rage ; I can their threat'nings all defy, Long MS I find my Jesus nigh. O THAT I could lean upon him all my days, and feel a sense of his love and presence, that I might be humble at his feet and his great name exalted. Lord Jesus, I cannot live without thee : nothing, nothing but thyself can make me happy ; for thou art all in all. O be with me, be with me, wherever I go, and give me much of thy Spirit, to make me faithful in thy glorious cause ; Lord, let me be thine for ever. September 5th. I went down to Granville, where X preached, and found the work of God still reviving. But when I speak of the work reviving, I am astonished. I stand aghast, that I am not more affected for wha«. I see ; and no more alarmed because I see no more. How, O how can I sleep and slumber, when I as much believe, as I believe I have a being, that if the last trumpet were this moment to sound the dreadful peal, that not only the great- est part of the world of mankind, which I never saw, but even of those with whom I labour, converse, eat and drink* would in an instant of time awake blasphemers in hell ? Lord God, pity the souls thou hast made, and shake them, O shake them by judgments or mercies to a sense of their misera* ^ r rouiuy m, and mot be [ could to pro- ive up hat op- )d yv'ds ; desire : souls, s quar- ith the ss do I ' JesuSk d feel a ble at cannot make e with irit, to me be ^here T But kd. I I see ; low, O ive, as re this great- r, but drinkt I? Lord shake iisera« ♦. * • ' ••' LIF£ AND JOURNAL. * Vo blc, lost coiuiilion, before the mediatoiial hour is past. Save Ihem, save them, O thou mighty C^od ot Jacob. Gird on, O Prince of Peace, thy gospel sword, Ride in the chariot of thy sacred word. , From land lo laud, thro' every nation tread, To raise immortal spirits from the dead. O THAT God would make mc, even me a Morthless worm, instrumental in calling many soiils liomc to (iod ! O that I might spend, and be spent in proclaiming the ever- lasting gospel, and that many souls migi^t for ever cast their crowns at his feet, and raise irnu'iorta) lionotu's to his glorious name for blessings sent them by :ny stammering tongue. Atthistimelsawtlie greatest society that 1 ever had seen in Aiui*«polis ; more nvmibers joined the church and many dinners under conviction, inquiring vvb.at they mi>st do to be saved, and the christians rejoicing in their Redeem- er. O that Jesus would still go on to revive his kingdom in the hearts of the sons of men, that they may be redeem- ed from eternal death, and in his everlasting love. liul I have reason likewise, and more so, to say, O that the sons of men would receive him : for there is nothing in Ck)d to keep sinners from redeeming love and everlasting joy ; neither is it possible for him to with -hold any good thing from any good creature that will recieve it. God being infinite in love and compassion flows from his goodness to every empty vessel. But as the weeds that turn from the sun grow sour, so any creature, angel or man that turns from God, grows dark, malicious and miserable. O the danger and deplorable condition of turning from God. O how has the thought of a separate state fix)m God racked my very soul : especially when I see the overflowing good- ness of the Divine Being, that would fain make them hap- py, even all that will be happy. And against this, yea all this, O how many thousands are miserable ; considering that it is against so much love and condescension. O the cutting reflections of losing all happiness and enduring all misery of choice. When I take a small view of these things and man's miserable condition, and consider where we are from, what we now are, and what wc must soon be, O how does my soul awake with surprise, and labour under the weighty consideration, and groan for myself and fellow-men. O howdollamentandrepentman'sfirstrebellion and fall, and long that they may be redeemed. O how does ! A !)6 RtV. HfctJRY ALLINE S I 1 my soul pant for the spreading of the blessed gospel, and the impressmg the name of the blessed Jesus on the hearts of thousands : especially when I have a small view of the miserable ct/.dition of the souls that are out of Christ, and the unspeakable misery that awaits them. O what happy hours do I find when I can lean upon Christ by a lively faith, and feel the impressions of God*s blessed name, and the power of hi>s redeeming spirit on my soul : but if not , C) how distressing and unhappy I waste my golden hours and days. And O the sudden changes of my mind. One hour I can preach, pray or discourse with my soul at liberty, and warmed with divine love ; vnvi the next hour all that 1 say or do feels dry and barren, and my soul fightii>g in a stoim with the current of the world, the flesh and the devil a- gainst mc. Great blessings attended my preaching through Maugerville on the river St, Johns, where 1 had now ar- rived, especially among the christians. The church seem- ed greatly revived, ti'avelling in love ; some were added to the churchy and some poor sinners awakened : and I still found (blessed be God) a longing desire to spread the bles- sed name of my blessed Master. O Lord Jesus, grant a double portion of thy blessed spirit. Yea, Lord, what doth my soul so much long for ? Not all the riches of the mortal staje, Could half so much my soul engage. Some time in the last November I came down to the mouth of the river St. Johns, and was obliged to stay some time there, waiting for a passage. I preachedamong the peo- ple there, and spent all the time I could with my pen ; and enjoyed some happy hours while 1 was there, almost every day. But considering how I am indulged, I am a faithless vine ; for I have all that I need in this world, God goes with me and preserves me by sea and by land, both night and day, and yet how little is my heart affected therewith. How little is my soul drawn out to love him who gave his life for me. Sometimes I have thought I could not contain my- self any longer so far from Got'. I was like a restless crea- ture in prison. But ah, fallen asleep again in some de- gree, and do not wrestle as I ought. O that God would make me useful to those people, that they might receive some blessings from God by me, and O that he would re- ward them for their kindness to me. But ah, I fear man/ LIFE AND JCL'RNAL. •f el, and b hearts of the i&t. and . happy ly faith, and the not, C) >urs and ine hour rty, and at 1 say a stoi m devil a- tli rough now ar- :h seenv* added to d 1 still the bles- grant a lat doth to the ly some the peo- t;n ; and it every aithless )es with ght and How his life in my- ss crea- me de- would receive luld rC" man/ of them willlose all their reward, because they have not a principle of divine love m their soul. Novp:mber the 25th, 1 landed in Cornwallis. O that I was suitably affected of the kindness of God with me. How nuich have 1 seen of his care over me, and yet how little do 1 love him. He has been with me by night and by day, by sea and by land, has guarded and supported my body, fed and encouraged my soul, and often blest my la- bours for the good of others. O that I could live under a continual sense of his goodness, and be willing to be any thing, and to go any where, that might be for liis glory, my good, and the good of others. But O the remains of sin and darkness are often like chains and fetters to my soul. Gire me love and humility, O my God. The Sabbath-day I preached, and the Lord was pleas- ed to come with his spirit in a remarkable manner to mc and others. I thought 1 longed to proclaim the gospel, that I felt, from land to land, and be worn out in so sweet a cause. Witness, O land, the goodness of my God ; And every creature spread his name abroad. Witness, ye silent arbours, where I rove, How often there my soul has found his love. And silent vales where lonely hours I trod. How often I enjoy'd the smiles of God. Witness, ye turifs of moss, where often I Have kneelM, and found my blest Redeemer by. O the sweet wondtrs of that blood divine. That makes all things, and life immortiJ mine. .• There would I spend my fleeting hours in praise* And never leave till I shall see his face. Let me with Jesus through this desert rove Till I shall be in the bright worlds above, Where nothing shall be known to break my love. November the 28th, I went with a number of the brethren from Cornwallis to Horton to meet the churches of Horton and Falmouth there, in order to settle some mat ters in dispute, to heal breaches, and make up divisions. There seemed to be a desire for unity in many ; but some were so stiff in non-essentials, that they were not willing to walk with those that differed from them in those matters. O that christians would bear and forbear I And what for- bearance is there if we cannot walk with those that differ with us in some non-essential points. For my own part I have always been very positive ever since I knew the differ* I ] 98 REV. UENUV ALLINt's ence between the form and power of religion, not to receive or walk with any as christians that had not known a work of grace in their souls, or had not a living Christ in their souls ; for which I have often been called censorious, and unchari- table ; but I desire no charity without grounds. But as for any difference in non-essential matters or the externals of religion, they never were, iTor I hope, ever will be any bar to me in walking or communing with those I believe to be followers of the Lamb in sincerity and in truth ; and have the life of religion, although they might differ from me in many small matters : for if Jesus loves them, and bears with what they call errors in judgment, why should poor man reject or call that common or unclean, which, I really believe, Christ has cleansed. Yea, were we to take all our externals of religion, all our principles and tenets, which were even according to the letter of the word, without a living Saviour, what would they all avail ? Yea, put all that ever was known or done by man, without the Spirit of God in one scale, and the scanty love and humility of a poor ig- norant, broken hearted christian (that seems to know no- thing about any principles) and it would so far overbalance the other, as to enter the gates of heaven) reach the heart of the kingdom of glory, while the other with all his prin- ciples would be driven al)out in the wmd like the smoke of Cain's unaccepted sacrifice. O that every christian would remember that command of their blessed Lord and Mas- ter, and comply therewith. Labour (saith he) not for the meat that perisheth, but for that meat that endureth to ever- lasting life. What are all the externals of religion without the power, and the love of the living God ? And when they enjoy that love, it makes all things right. If it is love that fulfils the law, and nothing but love, O love him, love him, ye followers of the Lord, and then, O then you will sinceri- ly love one another. About the Jtst of December I went to Falmouth, found the christians well ti avelling in love and unity. I re- mained a short season with them, had many happy hours, and our hearts were in some degree knit together like Da- vid and Jonathan's. I preached and conversed with them, and then went to Halifax to commit a small piece of my writings to the press. O the trials I went through there to see the darkness and death of that great throng of peo- ple, and no door to proclaim the |;ospel, as my toul longed J:: LIKE AVD JOURNAL. 99 receive mrk of souls ; nchari- t as for nals of my bar t to be d have )m me d bears d poor [ really all our , which thout a all that of God )oor ig- low no- balance heart IS prin- »oke of would Mas- ter the |o ever- ithout ;n they Ive that yt him, iinceri- louth} I rc- I hours, Le Da- them, |of my there pco- mged to do it. O with what joy would I labour night and day, if I might be the means of awakening some of their pre- cious and immortal souls, and bring them to Christ. <) Jesus, send me, send me in thy blessed name to the dying world. Give me, O Lord, for my portion to spend and be spent in thy vineyard, and bring many souls to the knowl- edge of thyself. After I had committed my writing to the press, 1 returned to Falmouth. About the loth of December I rode to Horton, and met the church, and a blessed day it was to my soul wliilj proclaiming the gospel, awd many of the christians were re- joicing in their Gc !, and telling the wonders of his love. O the sweet moments and happy days, that I have seen iu the house of God among the christians, a 'lappincss that the world knows nothing of. Well might the proplict say, He would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God, tlian to dwell in the tents of wickedness. O let my never-jnd- ing portion be among that people, whose God is the Lord J let their God be my God, and their joys be my joys. let me live, O let me reign, ' . With those that do my Jesus love : 1 count no other portion gain, And long to meet them all above. I REMAINED in Horton preaching in various places, and the Lord was with me, and often gave me so much of his presence, as lifted me up" above the world. The next week I went to Newport, where I met the church and communed with them. I enjoyed some happy hours tlicre, but passed through some distressing moments under a sense of hardness of heart and stupidity of mind. The next morning I awoke very early, and was thinking about the important scenes of the day 4)efore. Although I had then much freedom and great blessings ; yet when I came to look back upon it, I found I was so little affected, had so little profittcd, was so little humbled, so little filled with Icve to God for his grace, that it all appeared almost one un- mixed evil, and not fit to be seen or looked upon by a God of holiness and purity. O how full of sin did all my devo- tion appesrr, especially when I saw in whose presence I was, and what I was then doing. I was not only the!> preaching the everlasting gospel of the Kiilid om of Glory, on which hangs the eternal state of all the sons of men, ^d ought to awake every heart to receive it, but likewise I'M i 100 KHV. HENRY ALLTNt'S rcprcscntinp; the most «iolemn, the most aflecting, and the luo&t inii^oitant scene that ever \vill be seen hy angels or men : even the broken body of an incarnate God, God and man on Calvary's Mount, bleeding and dying for the sins of tlie fallen race. O astonishing, and I no more cngs^ed) uo more afl'ected I About the 2 1st of December I went to Horton. The lord gave me great freedom in proclaiming the everlasting gospel. But O what a wonder is it, that I say, I believe that the infinite (iod goes with me, and assists me to pro- claim these trutiis, which eternally concerns all the sons of men, and that I am no more affected I Can He that rules self-existent and unchangeably condescend to stoop so low ? O shall he, before whom angels and archangels bend with reverence and humility ; yea, before whom millions and millions of worlds are as a grain of sand, be ever engaged for the welfare of such a miserable wretch as I am, and at- tend my faithful labours in the gospel, and I have no more gratitude ? O death, darkness and ingratitude ! The very rocks would melt with gratitude at what I profess to be- lieve. Sometimes (although I enjoy much of God at times) I have seen such a disproportion between what I am, and what I ought to be, or between what I profess to believe and what I feel, that I have been almost ready to say, that it was all only the force of imagination. But yet, O blessed God, there is a reality, and although the chris- tians are imprisoned, while in this mortal state, yet they have that acquaintance and enjoyment of God, that the world knows nothing of, and will certainly advance in their victory of death, sin and self more and more, till th«y have landed far beyond the reach of all these chains and disor- ders. God will indulge his children with his hand To lead them sate thro' all this desort land, And then will call them from this mortal shore To realms of light, where death is known no more. O THE stupidity, blindness and miserable condition the world is in ! how is it possible that men, whose seuls are to exist for ever, either in happiness or misery, can be so careless and unconcerned, as if they were all devoted to their several places, and doomed to their happiness or miseries by some irresistible, arbitrary decree without the use of any u^eans ; or whether they embraced a Saviour or net. An4 id the els or xl and le sins vaged, The luAting jelicve to pro- sons of t rules olow ? id with •ns and jgaged and at- D more le very to be- ;od at what I >fess to ;ady to ut yet, chris- It they at the In their y have disor- LIPK AND JOURNAL. :ui lion the lis are be so lo their liseries of any An4 how much more inconsistent with truth, aiul cruel to their own eternal state do they con(Uict, when they aie indulged with a few moments of probation out of clerical now, aiid the means of their salvation inseparable with the emis, ail the woi Id fallen and condemned and undone ; with redeem- ing love all around them ; destruction beneath them ; liie avenj^er of blood pursuing and mercy inviti'K; them ; liie Spirit of God striving with them, and the Kcdeemer sayng to them, He that belicveth shall be saved, and 'he that be- lieveth not shall be damned : and yet poor man sleeps aw?.y his hours of probation ; those few moments on which turns. the scale of his everlasting fate ; or is careless and uncon- cerned, as if there was nothing more than the loss or price of some empty shadow at stake: although the happiness on the one hand is infinitely unspeakable, and the misery ice for is it my : whose the un- se of it ed state, it great rer end- :e of the in this ndergo. me rest uneasi- e world, n in the dful ex- l thr^at- eB thej Insulting thy short hours of broken peace : Why, wasting momenti* bought witli blove« ^ Seraphic millions in their sacred flam?, Stretch'd from the realms of self-existent love To guard thy life, thy foes defeat, redeem From death's dark vault, attract with joys divine. And lead to the realms of uncreated light ; Where pleasure reigns uninsuhed with fcnr. And far, yea far from changes, loss or night. O why immortal spark, why, why refuse Unmingled joys, to court eternal pain ? "Vhy hug sad hours of fear and deep distress, • And disregard the joys of endless day. Why wear thy chains in dungeons dark before Angelic freedom and immortal crowns. Leave, leave O urdiappy wanderers that sue For joys within this mortal urb. O leave Those stars delusive for tke Ntar that leads, from dark abodes to th* uncreated sun : Leave death, fear, foes, dark and slavish chains For Jesus (tho despis'd) and all his realms Of sacred love and glories uncreate. And may I see you there, O there with him. That spake all worlds to move ; and join, O join With countless seraphs in immortal songs In love eternal as the God himself. Another year is drawn to a period, and O what have I done, what advance have I made in the only thing for which I have my being ? How many thousands have land- ed in the eternal world since this year commenced, whose die is cast and doom unalterably fixed, and I am spared ? But O if I look back on the year past and review my walk) how dark and how crooked is it, and how little have I ad- vanced my Redeemer's name, and how little useful have I been to my fellow-men. My fleeting years how are they fled away And hurry to the grave without delay ; Soon, soon they'll plunge me from this mortal shore To worlds where months and years are known Ro more. O Jesus, Jesus, fit me for the change. And call me far beyond the reach of painSy To join with angels in immortal itraini. fii 104 REV. he:*rt alline's IT i ' •!. \ if 1 i li Pr: THE BEGINNING OF THE TEAR 1781. Kind hand thut led nie through the exhausted ye«r And bid reluming earth once more appear. But O how much of years and moments past, Are to myself and fellow mortals lost. How little have I spread my Saviour's praise, How liiile progress in his sacred ways. O niiglit I now begin my life anew And bid my former sloth and sins adieu. Awake, O blessed God, awake my heart, With every lust and idol dear to part, Whatc'er I harbour that rejects thy reign My willing soul implores to have them slain. Ah blessed God, whale'er rejects thy grace Let them be brought and slirtii before thy face. " Ajid O inspire my soul with grace divine That I may be bf)th soi.i and body thine. And lead n e, blessed God, where'er I go, With lieavenly zeal the gospel trump to blow. O send me, send me in thy blessed name. The glorious words of Jesus to proclaim, Wliere'er thovi cast my lot, where'er I rove,. Inspire my tongue to sound redeeming love. Endow my soul with meekness of the Laiab To spread thy dying, bleeding, rising fame. Strip me of self, and fill me wi»:b thy grace, To sound glad tidings to the fallen race. Methinks I long, O blessed God, to spread Thy gospel wonders to restore the dead. Send me, O Go. I, and teach the blind to sec,, And in thy name to set the captives fr .e. Send me with gospel cares^unto the deaf And Gilead's Balm to give the sick relief. Let me awake the mciPt unfeeling race. And comfort mourners with thy gospel grace. Let me- proclaim my dear Redeemer*£ charms To lead his children to their Saviour's arms. Thy lambs unto thy bosom let me guide And wounded spirits to thy bleeding side. Take me O God into thy heavenly care. And lead a worm thy goodness to declajt, Devote me in the essentials of thy name To spread ihe meekness of the bleeding Lamb. Teach me to count all earthly joys but loss. That I may spread the wonders of the cross* O let me face a frowning world with joy ; Engage the powers nf darkness to destroy. And hoM me soft within thy blessed arms. From earthly grandeur and alluring charms. O let me now begin my days anew. With joy thy gospel wonders to pursue. LIFE AND JOURNAL. lOJ .» Enf^g^e my soul to spread thy name abroad, And give approaching moments to my God. What days to come, kind Heaven intends tor mc, My cheerful soul, O God, devote to thee. And fcverj' power of life and soid engag-e By grace divine, while on tli.s mortal stage ; Then in the last decline of mortal breath, Help me with joy to triumph over death. And in my dying gi'oans let me proclaim The wonders of my dear Redeemer's name. O let me tell to the surviving race Redecining love and his unbounded grace. Then from these changing scenes oi day and night Let me with sacred ardour take my flight ; Leanine my soul upon my heavenly friend, Find all my labours and my sorrows end. My soul redeemed from death and endless woe, "Will bid farewell to all these scenes below. Cheerful IMl reach the blest the blissful shore Where sin and death shall plague me never more. There, there, with all the glorious hosts above, My soul shall feast on everlasting love. And live with Jesus on those peaceful plaint Where every saint in love immortal reigns. O blessed Jesus, shal? my portion be Forever found bound up with joy in thee ! O shall I once hear my Redeemer say Come happy, happy spirit come away i Come home unto the saints* eternal rest, And lean upon your great Redeemer's brcMt ? O shall I, shall I, blessed Jesus, reign Where I shall never never sin a^ain ? There endless ages on the blissful shore Let me be found thy goodness to adore. There give my longing soul a humble place Near thy dear feet, to sing redeeming grace, There let me sound thine everlasting fame ; And give the glory to the slaughter'd Lamb. January, 1781. This year I intend, if Ood permit, to pen down the travels of my soul every day, which in the tjme past I have not done. 1st. In the morning I enjoyed happy moments with my Lord and Master ; after which I was in great darkness. In the evening I preached a sermon, I thought, und«r the greatest sense of darkness and hardness of heart, that ever I had. Then went to my lodgings under the same trials ; but about 1 1 o'clock at night I received a jewel I trust firom God on some deep points' of diirinit]^* I'*" 106 REV. HENRY ALLINE*S ;''(.. i h which I hud Ion" been searching after, and which will be in some of my writings. 2d. This day I left Com wallis for Annapolis. O may the Lord direct my ways this cay, and teach my heart to spread his worthy praises. I erijoyed some blessed hours and some darkness. In the evening just before I came to an inn, I had a blessed visit to my soul. O that I was more humble I 3(1. O THE joyous moments of this moaning ! How can my soul endure the absence of my God. O God de- liver me from these storms, or make them useful to my soul and fellow-men, as thou has done trials before. 4th. Blessed be God, he does not leave his children long without some relief. In the morning my «oul was under great tribulations, in the evening leaping for joy. Ten thousand praises to this God belong", ' O could I make his goodness all my song : ^ And tell the world the greatness of his care, And bring my fellow men his love to share. 5th. Methinks I feel in a great degree the awful distance I am plunged from God by my rebellion, I find some longing desires for redemption from this gulf. O when shall I get the victory over the remains of self, and be more freed from these chains of death and darkness. In the evening I preached and found some liberty. 6th. Blessed be God for the union I found in the morning and likewise in the evening. O that I could walk in humility, and be useful in his blessed cause, O that I might all my days be married to the Redeemer and his kingdom ] 7th. This morning in a solitary walk I enjoyed a greater nearness to God than I have for many months. Being the Sabbath I preached two sermons to a great so* ciety, and it f/as a day of God*s power. 8th. Lord, rouse my heart with grace divine, - Antl let me be entirely thine, While mortal life remains. Then in the glorious rfealms above With those that sing Redeeming love I'll raise the highest strains. 9th. O the unbounded goodness of God to visit the sons of men with such blessings as he has this day ; and my soul has had a share with them. But O what returns have I made [ * ., LIFE AND JOUKNAL, 107 )yed a lonths. ;at so- ^it the and ; turns \ t loth, This morning in some degree I waked vithv God, and had a sence olthe world's being held up by the Redeemer. O that the world knew that they were al- ways moving in God, and acting for eternity. O Jesus, help me near thy face, Inspir'd with love divine : And give my sovil a humble place, Neai' the dear tcet ot" thine. 1 1th., O WHAT a load of death and darkness I am bur- dened with, and O how little of God*s love do I know and enjoy ! yet methinks 1 long for release, liberty, love and humility ; then I should be useful in tlie Redeemer's bless- ed kingdom, and rejoice in his name. 12th. Many changing scenes I am carried through. Sometimes I am in some degree on Pisgah's top and then down with Jonah to the bottom of the mountains, and the I earth with her bars are about me. O the christian's life is a mixture of grief and joy. 13th. O that my trials might all further mc in my way to the kingdom. But O I often say, how can it be that I am a christian : are the frames I pass through con- sistent with a redeemed soul ? O Lord undertake for me. I4th. O THB goodness of God to me I Why am I not more filleii ivith love to God, when I am so indulged still with his grace as 1 have seen and enjoyed to day ? especi- ally when I was preaching ; and had a great sense of the worth of precious souls. 15th. I THINK I have longing desires to walk nearer to God, but the pride of my heart leads me astray. O the sin and corruption that remains in my soul ! How little do I love, how little do I serve, and how little am I redeemed from self. 1 6th. O THE ten thousand chains of death and dark- ness that man is bound down with. I thought some'.imes I had some light and life, knew something of God, and had some sense of divine truths : and yet I can pass by the cross of Christ, the dying groans and bleeding wounds of the Son of God, with my soul but little more affected than the stones. O that God would awake me, and bless me with life divine, while this mortal life endures. 1 7th. O COULD I rise this morning with all my soul to spread my Saviour's name, ar^l devote my life, while minutes roll, to tell the goodness oi the Lamb : but O how 10& i\E\. HLNRY ALLINE's !'f ■I little life and activity do I have. In the morning clouds and darkness ; in the evening, while preaching, some light, life and humility : but soon my heart begins to stray again. 18th. O THAT 1 could feel more of the worth of pre- cious and immortal souls, that 1 might be engaged in my Master's cause ; but I find so much sloth, ignorance and unbelief, that I am almost useless. 19th. The scenes and trials of the night past uncom- mon, () shocking scene too great to be expressed. When midnight slumbcs in an instant fled, And left me trembling in furious storms, With lieliish monsters round my restless mind ; And a black gulf that yawn'd beneath my feet. O how I shudder at the bell within ! O lor redemption from blasphemous self! It is impossible to tell the racks of distress that I was under when seeing and feeling the hellish nature that re- mains in my body of sin and death. For three hours I could neither pray, praise nor rest, but was so wounded, that it seemed enough to separate my soul from my body. Yet I esteem the discovery as a precious jewel, shewing me more than ever I saw before, the deplorable condition fallen man is in. 20th. This day I continued under a solemn sense of the last night's travail. In the evening got some release. I implored that God would shew me still some important scenes that seemed in some degree to be on my mind, but could not discover what they meant, or what the Lord in- tended. 2 1st. I STILL retained a weight on my mind from what was past, but sometimes got some happy moments, and trust after God with the weight of divine truths on my mind. O that God would lead and support me. I preach- ed to a great number and saw miich of the power of God even among the opposers« 22d. This morning I thought I found some longing desi 'es after love and humility. O that God would bring me near to himself. In the evening falling into a society, I was desired to preach, and the Lord was, I trust, there, and it proved a tiessing to some souls. O may the Loixl's name be praised in and by me. 23d. I HAD this morning some happy hours. In the evening I preached, and had great liberty. Some of those who had been in opposition seemed to have their ear** ids and ; light, r again, of pre- in my ice and uncom- Eit I was that re- hours I kd, that dy. Yet ring me m fallen ense of release. portant |ind, but .ord in- \m what Its, and on my Ipreach- >f God longing bring society, :re, and is name In the )f those lir earn LIFl£ AND JOURNAt. 109 opened, and attended with earnest desires for ti blessing, «ind, 1 trust, received some. God*s name be praised for it. S4th. Othe unspeakable trials of mind I had in the forepart of this day I God deliver me from them, and grant me the joy that is in believing. In the evening I preach- ed, and a blessed evening it was to my soul and to those of others. O what an unsanctiiied wretch I am ! 25th. O THE darkness, death and misery the world is in ! Methinks I have a sense sometimes of millions and millions that are pressing down to ruin. O that they knew in this their day the things belonging to their peace, that fheir souls might be saved in the day of Christ's appearing. Lord, send me, send me to my fellow^men. 26th. Preachi^d almost every day, and although I passed through many distressing hours, yet when I came to speak in God's name, then I found liberty, or methinks I shcAiId sink. 27th. Met with the chtirch, and a blessed day it was. Some souls were added to the church. O the joyful news r)f salvation proelaimed by young christians. To hear them tell what the Lord had done for their souls was enough to melt the -most hardened heart. They sung hosannahs to the son of David, and declared the wonders of his love, 28th> I ADMINISTERED the Lord*s supper to the new- embodied chr.rch ; and it was a day of God's grace. In the evening there were greater manifestations of God's power, souls crying out, what must we do to be saved. 29th. I HAD some heavy trials, chains and storms of grief this day. O Lord God, support me under the iri,and bring me near to Christ. I went to preach at a house of one who had been an enemy to the cause. When I came he met me at the door, and desired me to preach from a particular text he would give me. I told him 1 would not preach to satisfy curiosity, because I must labour for the good of society ; but would as willingly preach from one text as from another, if the Lord gave it to me. He said, he desired no more, and then mentioned the text, which seem* ed immediately to be given to me, and took hold of my mind. I told him I would preach from it for it was a bless- ed text. ] then went in and preached, and it was the most powerful meeting I ever saw in that country. Yea 1 think the very devils became subject. O may the Lord's i\iMiie h; 110 BEV. HENRY ALLINE's * ','i i »■' ■ f have all the pruise fur the blessings given to souls tliat night. 30th. I AM surpiiscd that I am no more engaged than 1 am, when 1 consider the station I am in, and the Impor- tant scenes I am surrounded ■with. 31st. Many dangers and triak I have been carried through this month, but great has been the kindness oi the Lord towards me. O he is a faithful ntaster, althougli 1 am an unfaithful servant. O that I had made greater ad- vances in the Redeemer's cause. O methinks 1 am still a dry and barren shrub in the vineyard of God. The month is past, and how little have I done to the good of m^ own soul, and to those of others. February 1st. O that I may spend, what of this month is allotted me, to the glory of God, and the good of souls. Some happy hours I enjoyed this day, especially in the fvening. I preached as 1 was returning from Annapolis to Cornwallis. O the sweetness I fmd in jiroclaiming my .blaster's name, that the world knows nothing of. 2d. I HAD some sense this morning of redeeming love. But O the pride and unfaithl Iness of my lieart leads me astray. O how soon do I lose the visits from Heaven, and receive such vain lovers in my heart. I had some happy hours in riding 30 miles this day ; and although I was so fatigued by riding in a heavy rain, that 1 could scaitely walk. when I got from my horse ; yet when 1 began to preach, 1 had such a sense of the Redeemer's cause, that I almost forgot my bodily infirmities. O the unspe^able goodness of God to such a worm 1 3d. I wKNT this day from Cortiwallis to Horton and had some happy hours, but also some trials. I preached a sermon in the evcniug, and the presence of God was among his children. 4th. I HAD uncommon darkness and trials of mind in the morning ; so great that I did not kuow what I could say in the cause of Christ, expecting to meet part of two churches at the Lord's table, as I did. Rut the Lord Mas kind. I cannot tell tiic time that I had such liberty in the gospel ; and a blessed day it was to many. Some sinne » were alarmed. 5th. This day I saw enough to melt my heart and a- Avake my soul to love and praise God, if I was not more in- &ei\sible tlian the beasts •: for I went to see a man, that had LfTE AND JOURNAL. Ill uls tliat :ed than Impor- carricd 5 of the ougli I ater ad- a still a month n_, own > month r souls, in the napolis ng my ig love, ids me n, and happy was so y walk. exich, 1 almost odness n and ched a imong ind in lid sav )f two d was in the inne s nd a- ire in- it had been one of my intimate companions in sin and vanity be- fore I was converted ; who was now on the confines of e- ternity, and appeared as far from redemption as ever, just bidding farewell to this world ; I fear without a change of heart, or knowledge of salvation. O that he might be plucked from the jaws of hell before he is gone and no more seen. And O that I might have my whole heart and soul awake to love God for his goodness to me a wretch. 6th O THE unhappiness of this day by reason of dark- ness until the evenhig ; when preaching the gospel, the Lord gave me great liberty from my chains, and sent a blessing by me to many of his children. Lord, keep me humble and take the praise to thyself. 7th. MfcTHiNKs I can say that the greatest trials, and the greatest grief I pass- through, is because I am so far from God, so little redeemed from sin and self, and know so litt!^: of the Redeemer, alid am so little inilamed with love to his worthy name. O that God would take posses- sion of ray heart -and soul, and transform me into his like- ness. 8th. I HAD some happy moments in the forepart of this day. O the sweetness of that peace beyond what tongue can tell. But O it is a thorny way. How soon do trials arise. Some distressing scenes opened to my view, and made my heart tremble, but the Lord was kind to me. I preached in the evening and had great assistance. I trust I was made instrumental in feeding God*s children. 9th. This morning I was under great darkness. O what a load it is. How can I bear the abscence of my Lord and master. It seemed as if I could not rest without my Lord's return. Return, retura, O my God, blessed be his name, he doco not leave me long. Some happy glimpses of-divine love. O that God would continue his goodness to a wretch. I went this evening to see an aged woman near the grave, and had no Saviour. O what a shocking sight it is to see an immortal soul in that miserable condition. Lord God have mercy on her. 10th. O THE unhappiness of living at a distance from God. I think my soul groans to be delivered from dark- ness and death. This day seemed to be a day of darkness until the evening, when I found some relief. O the worth and sweetness of one hour, yea one minute in the presence •£ God. fr w ■ ■ j 1 ' 1 112 REV. MENRY ALLlK^'s l\ *4 l# llth. I I'RK ACHED this day in Falmouth, and it was ft day on which God fed his children with redeeminpj love ; and my own soul found great liberty ; so that I could speak boldly for God : and 1 trust the day was not in vain to sinners. 12th. Wknt to Hortoi' with some christians who were very lively rejoicir.pj and shouting as they rode, and speak* ing of the wonders of God*^s love. I trust the Lord was with us, us with the two disciples that travelled to Emmaus, and caused the hearts of some of us to burn. 13th. O THE scene I had this day of the necessity of a friend in a dying hour, and the greatness of that change in some small degree. But O it i^ unknown (but by seme ghmpses) to all the inhabitants of this mortal world. No one but those beyond the grave can tell it. In the evening I preached, then rode about 6 miles, and found some sense of a present God after I had retired to my bed. I4th. Riding from place to place I was blessed with a sense of God's love to the world. My soul enjoyed hap- py hours with God. O the sweetness of divine truths. In the evening 1 preach to a great number, chiefly of youths, and God was there*. O what longing desires I had (or their everlasting salvation. 15th» O HOW unhappy it is to live at a distance from God. Could I bear to vcar away one year, as I have this forenoon. O how do the unbelieving world live forty or fifty years having no hope and without God in the world. 16th. I HAD great liberty in my soul this morning, and seemed to find my heart awake : after which I rode out, and met with great opposition. I was called a liar, compared to a Papist and received many reproaches. But O what return shall I make to God, that I find his grace keeps my corrupt nature down, and as soon as I left them, could find in my heart to forgive. O the praise belongs to God, and to him only. 17th. I FOUND some nearness to the fountain of living waters. But O how little is my heart awake, and my soul engaged for God. I am surprised, that I am no more ia love with the blessed Redeemer. O God, redeem me from 4eath. 18th. I WAS in some degree enabled this morning to stay myself upon God. I preached two sermons, and the Lord fed many of his children* As for my own part I did it was ft P: love ; Id speak. vain to ho were d speak-^ ord was mmaus, essity of change )y seme d. No eveninjj le sense ed with ed hap- truths. youths, had ibr ce from ive this brty or orld. ' orning, I rode a liar, * oaches. nd his s I left prai sc f livinj^ \y soul lore ill e from ling to nd the t I did LIFE AND JOURNAL. 113 not find that freedom which sometimes I have had. I likc- . wise spoke in the evening and found some liberty and more love. But O for humility, humility. 19th. I AWAKED this morning with some sense of di- vine things, and after I got upfounda great nearness to God in prayer, and my soul fed on immortal bread. But O too soon it is gone. I find my soul needs daily bread as much as my body : neither can a christian live without it. 20th. Some distance from Ciod in the morning. O the darkness and distress I pass through, when I do not en- joy my God. In the evening I got some liberty in preaching , O it is sweet speaking for God, when he stands by and as- sists us : which, blessed be God, I have found by experience. 2 1st. O HOW unhappy are those, who spend their days, having no hope and without God in the would. I have been this day some hours without his sensible presence. O what an unhappy mortal have I been. All my friends and earthly enjoyments fuil to make me happy, when I mourn the absence of my God. 22d. Although I enjoyed something of God this day, especially in the evening when I preached : yet I am so fur from such a realizing sense of things, as I think 1 ought to have, and my soul aspires after ; that methinks I know no- thing, and am ready sometimes to say, that I am one of the most blind mortals on earth, and almost as insensible as the beasts. 23d. Though I live so far from God, and have so lit- tle of divine truths ; yet methinks I can say, T neither hear, see nor know of any thing in the whole system of creation, that my soul so pants after as the livhig imd true God.r When, O when shall I be brought near him and feast on his love. My soul longs for thee, for thee, O my God ; return O mv friend. 24th. For want of the presence of God, I have passed away the greatest part of thi^ day in grief O for some glimpse of my Saviour' 5= love l I long, I long to see his face, and to find my mind bound up in a lively sense of his presence. 25th. I PREACHED this day to a great society. My soul had great liberty in the forenoon ; in the afternoon a great sense of the death and darkness that still remains on the soul : but in the evening, when exhorting, found Ui?: Lord nigh, ami could rejoice. K2 lU REV. HENRY ALLXNB^ 26th. Although I cannot say, but I have enjoyed something of my Redeemer's love this day ; yet methinks it is so little in comparison of what my soul longs for, that I just begin to see my emptiness^ and long to taste more'. Give me, give me, O my God, larger draughts of redeem- ing grace. 27th. I HAD some communion with God this morn- ing. But O how soon it is gone, and my soul was left to mourn until the evening, when an aged christian came to see me, who telling the dealings of God with his soul, got my mind awake and my heart enfiamed ; at the same time I found my mind bore away into another region. O the sweetness of conversing with the saints of God about our Father's Kingdom. After this I preached, and found the Lord was there cf a truth. IVly soul and the souls of ma- ny others were awake with love arid joy divine. 28th. This day 1 went from Cornwallis to Horton r- and O how was I grieved to see a vast croud of people at horse-racing. O that they knew the worth of those pre- cious hours they are wasting, and the danger their poor souls are in, they would not risk their souls on such a pin- nacle of danger. O are these my fellow men acting for, and hastening to a boundless ecernity, and so unconcerned I F'ty their souls, O my blessed Jesus, and awake them. Af- terward I left all my companions, and all other company ; and as I was riding through the woods, my soul enjoyed that, which the world cannot give nor take away. The Lord of his infinite mercy appeared, walked with me, and fed me with immortal bread. Ten thousand thanks I owe, but nought to pay* To that kind hand, that guards my dang'rous way. •v.. Thro the past month He made my life his care, ' And kept my soul from ev'ry fatal nare. Although to him I so unfaithful prove, * He deals with me in kindness and in love. Ten thousand blessings he has freely given ; Sweet hours of peace, and a foretaste of Hea'n. Has bless'd my labours in the gospel field, And from his word some sacred truths reveal'd; O could I now with all my fioul awake, ' And all my idols, sloth and sins forsake ; And spend the few remainder of my days - > To his great name as monuments of praise. ^ May sacred love my heart and soul inflame,. ' To cry, all worthy, worthy, is the Lamh. tXFE ANn JOURNAL. 115 enjoyed nethinks for, that tc more', redeem - is morn- its left to came to soul, got ime time O the bout our bund the is of ma- Horton r- eople at lose prc- leir poor ch a pin- ;ting for, icerned ! em. Af- mpany ; enjoyed The me, and ray. March lit. Come, blessed Jesus, now my heart enf^age, ' To spread thy name while on tliis mortal stage. Lei me begin this precious month anev. Bid all, but my Redeemer's cause, adieu. Where'er, O God, my mortal feet sliall treid; O fix my eyes on Christ, my blessed head. Make mc successful in my Saviour's name. With humble mind thy gospel to proclaim. I was under vaiious impressions this day. I had some dark and some happy hours. In the evening I found. the sweetness of redeeming love. Lettjie name of Jesus get the praise for it. 2d. I WENT this day to visit some who had been g^cat opposers to the cause of Christ, but seemed now to have a hearing ear. O that they might escape from eternal death, that their souls might be saved, in the day of Christ's ap- pearing. In the evening. I preached, and the Redeemer himself was there, tccding his children with redeeming love. 3d. AxT HOUGH I pass through many trying hours, yet I trust they will all turn. for my good. But O how Httle am I submissive to the ways and will of God. I cannot find my soul so bound to the will of God, as to feel myself melt- ed at his teet. O that (iod would humble nie, and devote my soul to his praise, Mclhinks his^ ways are so sweet I long to be wholly for God. This evening I spcke by ex- hortation in a company and the Lord blessed my labours. It was a blessing to many in the room as well as to myself. 4th. I preached in the forenoon under a sweet sense of being a mouth for God, and tlie power of God was like a mighty rushing wind. In the afternoon sermon a blessing attended, but not with such power as^in the forenoon. In the • evening I rode about 4 miles,andprcaclied again. The Lord blessed my labours by feeding some of his children and by awakening some si" ners. O that I might live and die in the cause of God. A ble&sed cause it has been to my soul. 5th. I had this morning some sense of God*s love,, and felt my soul willing to be wholly for God, and devoted to his praise. After this I felt darkness prevail. I went to Falmouth, spent .the evening with some of my christian friends, and God was amongst us. But O how little do I love, how little do I praise that blessed hand, from whom I receive such inexpressible blessings. 6th. The thoughts of living one year, as I have done this morning) without the presence of God, would break. 116 REV. HENRY ALLINii S V' my heart. But O he is kind, and doth not leave me long- without some taste of his love ; but 1 hve too far, too fur from my God. When shall I be brought nearer. Ilum- Wle me O my God. and let mc live to thee and for thee a- lonc. God's presence bej^ins my joy and makes my Hea- ver, but bus al)bei»ce bej^ins my sorrow, and leaves me to mourn. Bless mc, O my God. 7{]u O HOW little is my heart affected under such a- larmuij^ truths witli such important scenes as I am encir- cled with. O that I was alive by faith, that I mij^ht not spend my days so far trom the only thinc^, for whicii I am continued in this world. O what will soften my heart, or what will melt my soul to love. 8th. O THK heavy hours this day. I was mourning for God's absence, and wanderinj^ in the dark imtil the evcninj^, when preachins; my soul ^ot reliel. But O too soon, I am afraid I shall j;et away from God again and lose my joy. Lord keep me, keep me 9th. Lord awake my soul and impress on my he.'ift thy blessed truths, that I may not only hear, but feel that blessed name of Jesus and live to his praise. loth. O WHO. would think that So soon after receiving a manifestatiwi of God's* l6ve I should find m)'Belf in cap- til ity ? How many scenes of changes day and night, My soul goes thro' of clouds and glimpse of light .'„' One hour my soul enjoys redeeming love, . The next 1 in a barren desert rove. 1 1th. This day preached two sermons and found the Lord to be pres^nnt both to me and others. A great dis- covery was given to many of us of coming out of self and before God. But it is the work of the Redeemer, and ma- ny souls felt it this day, and reJ9iced in redeeming love and the wonders thereof. 12th. Some sweet rays- of divine love broke out into my soul this day, and caused me to long for more. Why should I starve in aland of plenty, or go mourning when the the gospel is all around me ? Lord awaken me. 13th. O WHAT changes of life while wading through this wilderness. Sometimes up then down. One hour in the light and then dark. I enjoyed some blessed moments this morning, when my soul rejoiced. In the evening tria.(s and a great sense of darkness. MFR AND JOURNAL. UT e lon^ too fut Hum- thce a- y Hea- me to such a- encir- jht not 1 I am lart, or ling for vcning, n, I am ly joy. y heiirt el that ceiving in cap- XI nd the eat (lis- elf and nd ma- 3ve and mt into Why ; when irough lour in oments g trials 14th. As 1 was riding to Nc^>port I found sonric hap- py hours. But C) I do not enjoy >vhat I might if my heart was right with (iod. Yet I think I long for a nearness to God. O the happiness of living near to him, who is the blessed (iod of peace and happiness. 15lh. 1 HAD this day a great sense of I'l;^ emptincs.^ and vanity of all tilings ' 'jre below. If I had millions and millions of worlds, they would not make mc happy. Christ is all in all, in him 1 Hnd a solid peace. U Jesus, be my God. 16th. This day I preached in a dark part of Newport, but God was there ; and thwe appeared great attention to the word. Some soubi wtTe awakened, and my own so»il felt the life of religioi\. Blessed be the Lord for standing by such a worm. 17th. I VISITED n man on a death-bed ; found him under a great sense of the necessity of being regenerated^ with a desire for redemption. Travelling from the house with a young man, I made a stop in the woods, as I fre- quently used to do. God gave me a great nearness to him- self : but the young man in a particular manner was car- ried away under such a sense of the love of God and hi^ own nothingness, that he could not forbear crying out. A good day it was to us both. 18th. PaKAcfHED two sermons, found uncommon lib- erty in my soul, and many felt the the word. O that I might ever be kept humble at the feet of Jesus, then would my soul rejoice. 19th. I WENT to P'almouth, preached in the evening, and found the Lord nigh. But O the trials of mind which I had soon after, which arose from a sense of my distance from Cod. Light discovers dfirkness. Liberty makes mc often feel fetters, and groan under them ; but not so much at the same instant as soon after it ; then I discover disor- der and death. 20th. I SET out for Halifax, and still retained a great sense of the distance that I and aU mankind lived from the only thing for which we have our being. In the evening» being in a private room at a tavern, I found my heart ta melt. O the blessed hours that I sometimes thus enjoy when the Lord is nigh me, which the v'orld knows nothing of. 21st. This was an unhappy day to me ; for although I had success in getting a book from the presS) yet not spe- rid REV. HENRY ALLINt's I ■ i ^-;/ ing an opportunity to preach the gospel, as I longed to do ; and having no religious society (tliough I found two or three christians there) almost, made ready to sink, O that I could always live with Oodin the world. 2^2cl. 1 REMAiNKD in the town till the evening. O what a land of darkness it is. Who could believe by the conduct of the croud, when passing through the place, that tliey were bound for an eternity, each one having an im- mortal soul of more value thlan millions of worlds. O how it grieved my soul, when there appeared no desire nor room for the gospel. 23d. 1 RODE to Falmouth, and had some happy mo- ments : but my soul did not find that lig)it and liberty which I have often enjoyed, and I felt, at the same time, impatient to spread the Redeemer's name. 2'4th. O HOW I long for that the world cannot give. for the love of Jesus to draw my soul after him, and en- gage me to praise him. Give me, O blessed Lamb of God, the enjoyment of thyself, and let me be thine forever; then shall my soul rejoice in thee, the God of my salvation, 25th. Blessed be God for the manifestations of his k)ve to my soul this day, and for the great freedom he gave me in proclaiming the Redeemer's name, and for bles- sings given to poor sinners. Some came out and rejoiced in the Redeemer's kingdom, and his love to them. And what was most rejoicing, was to see a poor negro-man get up and tell what God has done for his soul. Blessed be God, that he chooses the weak things of the world, and things despised of men. I have often seen in the com- pass of my travels, poor servants and slaves shouting forth tiie Redeemer's praise ; while their masters stood in open rebellion, and rejected the simplicity of the gospel. 26th. Cast down but not in despair. For though I find such darkness and trials at times, yet I find more hap- piness than all the world can give me. But O how little do I love, how little do I praise God, and how far do I live from God I. O thou ever blessed God, take me near unto thee. 27th^ Cf the remains of sin and dapkness ! How shall 1 be delivered from these chains. My soul thirsts for lib- erty, like the Hebrew slaves for the year of Jubileee. When, when shall 1 obtain the victory over self ? This evenincj 1 i)reached, and found some joy in the cause of Christ, to do ; >r three that I ig. O by the ce, that an im- O how ire nor py Tno- liberty 2 time, t give. and en- ofGod, r ; then n, of his le gave \r bles- ejoiced And .\n get 5sed be , and com- forth m open )ugh I e hap- littie 1 live unto w shall or lib- When, venincr Id V I/IFE AND JOURNAL. 119 28th. I HAD some longing desire after the blessed 'God this day, but not that nearness to the Saviour as my heart pants after. O unhappy state ; when I cannot enjoy my God. Help me, O my Jesus. O the trials of my soiii when I was ridiu'^ about 1 1 o'clock at night. 29i:h. This morning I had some relief from the trials of the last evening. 1 had some happy moments when discoursing with some christian friends, and preached in the evening to a large society. 30th. The more I sec, the more 1 am convinced that I am blind. I this day saw my blindness more tiian ever. O that I was more awake, and moi-e acquainled with God and myself. O what an insensible state is the world in ! How little do tiiey know lliemselves, and O where are they bound to '. 31st. THot'Gii the work of God has ceased here in some degree, yet blessed be God, there are yet some under conviction, and some seekers. O that they may not seek in vain. And O that God M'ould enlarge my heart to love liim, and give praise to his name, and be for him for ever. How kind, O dear Jesus, is thy care to worthless me, » Avorm, and how nuich do I sliare of thy free grace ! April 1st. O might I now the ensuing month begin , To serve my God, unci flee from ev'ry sin, ,,• O that the Lord would my whole soul inflame, To tell mv tellovv-men his blessed frame. Lord give me meekness and a humble heart, That 1 may never from thy ways depart. " ' Be thou my leader, portion, and my friend, Till days and weeks and months with me shall end. Then call my spirit to tlie peaceful shore, Where I shall sin nor sorrow any more. This day I preai lied in ^Vindsor, where I never | j)reached before. There appeared something of an heariiii'; ear ; but at the same time the devil was raging, and the great men of the place tery much opposing. I trust God intends to begin a work of grace in that town. 2d. This morning Twas invited to see a num who iiad been an opposer, but seemed to begin to hear. O that their hearls might bow, that 1 might yet wash their feet iu the gospel. Rut 1 had this day some heavy trials in my mind. Lord remove my darkness. O that my soid might enjoy more liberty in the gospel, and receive sweet visith from tlie love of Jesus t ^ , ... 120 R«V. HENRY ALLINE'S «.. •••.■ !'■'' it r 'I i1 3d. This day I went to Horton. I preached in the -evening, when the blessed Jesus gave me his presence, and some success in the minds of the hearers. O what a de- sire I felt for the salvation of some of the youths, when I was speaking to them in the name of Jesus. 4th. This day I preached in Horton. There seemed to be great movings, especially amongst the young people. O that their precious and immortal souls might be saved in Ihe day of Christ's appearing. 5th. SoMi; happy moments I had in riding to Com* \ allis ; but O iiot half so much as I might have if my heart \Vi .s more redeemed. O this unbelief i remove it, remove it, O blessed God, and give me liberty. 6th. This day to my pen, und I thought, with a de- sire that all might be a blessing to souls, when I am done with in this world, if not before. I think I wish to be spent in the service of God and the welfare t>f souls. f th. I FOUND some nearness to God, and my soul could rejoice. But O how soon do some earthly toy« steal me away. How soon do I lose the sweetness of di- vine things and l^ecome barren. O what a miracle I am to myself ; one hour rejoicing on the mount, the next I am down in the valley wandering in the wilderness, and grovel- ling in the dark. 8tli. I PREACHED this day, and found the Lord at hand. My own soul, and the souls of others were much indulged with the love of God. O what returns of love •shall I repay for what I have seen and felt of Christ this day. 9th. O THAT I had more victory over pride and un- belief, that my soul niight live nearer to the blessed Jesus, and desert him no more. Take me, O blessed jesus, in thy arms, And fill Hiy soul with thy transporting chifl-ms. 10th. When Jesus is nigh my soul rejoiceth, but when absent I mourn. Happy are they that eat bread with him daily, that do not live in a legal form, nor on past ex- perience, l)ut gather manna every morning. This day when preacliing ray soal tasted of that, w hich th.e world cannot give. Uth. Employed sometime in writing this day : and blessed hours, I have often, being thus employed, enjoyed ; when I could feel what I wrote, and feast my soul on the glorious plan of life* • . i in the net, and at a de- when I seemed ; people, saved in to Com* nv heart , remove ith a de- am done be spent my soul thly toy« ss of di- ll I am to xt I am d grovel- Lord at re much of love hrist this t and un- ed Jesus, :eth, but read with 1 past ex- This day e world lay : and enjoyed ; ul on the llFE AND JOURNAL. lil 12th. O I have reason to say witli Rebecca, 1 arr weary of my life, because of the daughters of Ileth. O the remains of death and barrenness. How it wearies my soul) and makes me mourn as in a wilderness Now and then I hav .: a glimpse of light, love and liberty ; but O too soon I slit e back to chains, formality, darkness, death and insensi- bility. ISth. I CANNOT live without something of Jesus. What is all my past experience, unless i; be revived in my heart ? O let me never live a day withe at convene with Heaven, and a taste of divine tilings. 14th. This day one of the churches met. I was there, and some members joined the church. And, O blessed day it was, for Jesus himself was there by the assistance of his Holy Spirit, and therefore his children must rejoice, and darkness must flee. I5th. This was a day that God passed by, and gave his followers a visit of his love. Scarcely one at the house, "where we met for worship, but was much indulged with his presence ; especially those that came to the table. O how kind the Lord is to make use of those representations in the elements to stir up the hearts of his children, and give them the living bread. O happy, happy souln with such a Father. 16th. Who would have thought, that in so short a time as from yesterday, I could have got my mind bO im- prisoned, after having had so much liberty. But God re- members my frame. In the evening my soul could again rf^joice *n the God of my salvation. 1 7th. I RODE this day some distance, and preached in the evening ; passed through various scenes in my mind, yea, sometimes through various changes and frames in one hour. O tlie restless nature of an imprisoned soul. 18th. O WHEN shall I enjoy what my soul longs for, when shall I : _ the tim^ that i may, like Enoch, be able to walk all my time with God. I had some happy hours this evening ; but O for more. • 19th. Hiding to Falmouth, I felt a great sense of the darkness of man's mind, crying out, why? v) why is not my mind conversing with God all the way, and filled with hit love ? Ijiv 109 PvLV. HEWIY ALLII.E S 20t}i. O THIS unfeeling heart of mine ; "vvhy does it not melt ; what keeps me from continually rejoicinj^ in Jesus ; Lord, take my idols all away, And turn ray darkness into day. On my poor spirit dartly shine, And let me live on bread divine'. 21st. Little dees the world know either the trials or the happiness of the christian. What scenes are they carried through, unknown by the unconverted I. It is a way the vultvire'b eye hath not seen, nor lion's whelp ever trod ; but O it is a blessed wtiy ; for in the most trying hours tlic christians would not change stations with the king on the throne with all his earthly grandeur and en- joyments ; and although at times they may have troubles ever so trying, yet they are safe ; for God Mill soOn brin^- all sorrows to a period. 22d. This was a day of rejoicing, when I was preach- ing. Many christians were released from long trials, and shouted forth their Redeemer's praise. O that the world knew by happy experience what t ley enjoyed, ; 23d. This day I waslabowing with some young peo- ple, and God blessed my labours. O how my heart re- joiced to see the prime of life devoted to God ; and although much despised by the ungodly, yet what can be more hap- py, more safe, or more honorable, than for young men and women to follow the Lamb, and espouse his blessed cause. And they shall one day shine with angels and archangels at the right hand of the Redeemer. 24th; I HAD some unhappy hours this forenoon by reason of darkness, but happy hours in the evening, when proclaiming the Redeemer's name to my fellow-men. O the unspeakable worth of one hour in his presence. 25th. Pride and unbelief are my cruel enemies. They wound my soul, dishonor God, render me useless, and lead me into a wildeniess. < , * . 26th. I PREACHKD this day in tlie evening, my soul found the blessed Lord to be nigh. My tongue had liberty, and my soul was so affected, that I longed to spread the gospel from pole to pole. Many of the christians were very happy. May Jesus have the praise. 27th. O IT is by the smiles of the King of Heaven that my soul thus rejoices. O it is the Redeemer's love mr heart fuels. .1 !! . oes it [u\^ in iiils or i they i a way p ever trying ith the iiid en- roubles 1 bring Dreach- ils, and e world ng peo- eart re- though e hap- len and cause. fi an gels lOon by ', when len. O lieiTiies. iseless, Uy soul I liberty, ;ad the lis were ren tViat love n>y Lll't AT«D JOUnNAL. !23 ORth. O Jesus, docs not my soul loni^; for the enjoy- tnent of thy blessed self, and pant for thy love, as the liart panteth after the water brooks ? O humble me and take, rae in the arms of thy love, and let me walk with thee all my days. 29th. This day I preached in Windsor, where the « gospel has been long shut out, and where unconverted min- isters traded. The Lord blessed his word l)y me, and th>-jre appeared an attention with hunger here and there. One began to niake somt inquiry about that, whicli is so mucii undervalued by the geneiality of mankind. O that Ciod vrould carry on a work here. 30th. A^TKOUGii many of the great men oppose the gospel, and my preaching here ; yet there appeared more and more doors open for me to preach. I spent some time this day with some inquiring minds, and found by the grace of God, a great freedom to proclaim the name of Jesus, and the power of religion arainst whatever opposition there might be. • May 1st. This day I preached again at Windsor j and the Lord was pleased to bless my labours to some souls : and although the evening raged to that degree that I wa*j threatened by some of the leading men of the government ^ to be silenced, and put on board a man of war ; yet the Lord was kind to me, and gave me boldness in his name ; and more doors were opened to receive the gospel. 2d. I RETURNED to Falmouth, and found much of the presence of God. I preached a lecture there. O the great kindness of my blessed Master to me, his unworthy and unfaithful servant. The saints of God were fed by God's blessings on my labours. O may Jesus get all the praise. 3d. I HAD this day some darkness and trials of mind, and some peaceful moments. And blesaed l)c God I am say, I tind no rest in any thing but in God, and I hope I ne- ver shall. Lord Jesus, keep my soul awake. 4th; LwKNT to Horton, and enjoyed some happy mo- ments on the road. I think I could say before God, as far as I know my heart, I long for purity of heart, and holiness of Hfe. O that God would search me, and cleanse me from every evil. nth.'O HOW can I live so far from God ? How can F endure such an unfeeling heart ? It is a burden to my souF beyond any thing that I suffer. No wonder the apostl*. 124 REV. HENRY ALLIWE'S J 1 1 I cried out, O ^vretched man that I am, who shall deliver mfr frqm this body of sin and death ? 6th. I puE ACHED this day at the court-house in Hor- ton ; and God came as in his spii'it with power to his chil- dren : nunvbers of them were rejoicing. In the evening I preached again. TJic house was crouded where I preached, 7th. In the evening I had some happy moments : but they were too soon gone by my unbelieving heart, and theii I went mourning till the evening, when my heart and tongue were at liberty in preaching. Bles«<.d be tlie God of Jacob for this night. 8lh. I RODE to Cornwallis, but cUi! not find my heart breathing afterGod,as I have soinetimes done nding,though 1 had some happy moments wiiJi u seafaring man, tliat I overtook and travelled with, whom I found to be a ( hris-. tian, and who told me his experience ar d the travels^of his soul, which were very remarkable. When i.nder convic- tion, he was brought so near to despair, and to give up all hopes of ever being saved, that he hud often put his hand in the fire to try how he could bear the torments of hell,, and yet after all was brought out a bright christian, and now shouts for the wonders of God's love and grace to th« fallen race. 9th,. I ENJOYED some happy hours this day witJi my pen ; when I found in my soul a desire that my writings might after my decease be useful ; far although I preach- ed without any notes, neither did I write many sermons, yet I wrote much on almost every- essential truth of the gospel. loth. 7 PREACHED this day, and found great liberty. God revived his children greatly, so that some of them were almost overcome. O how do such things appear to the world, that i^ blind in sin, and knows nothing of what the christians enjoy in their souls of God. 1 Uh, O THAT I could live with my mind shut out from the world, and all its flatteries ; as the Lord has command- ed to enter the closet and shut the door : the happiness of which I have known by experience even in such company. 12th. I HAD some trials of mind, and some sense of divine things. O that I could be more sensible of that invisible hand that is still engaged for my welfare. I had some happy hours with some cliristian brethreo that iii tha •yening came to see me. * LIFE AN'D JOURXAC. IC'S ivev mc in Hor- his chil- /ening I reached, its: but ;art, and eart and e God of ny heart g, though 1, that I ■t a ( hris-. elsdoi' his ;r con vie - ive up all liis hand s of hell,. ,tian, and ,ce to th« witji TdJ writings 1 preach- sermons, :h of the It liberty, of them I appear to ig of what |t out from 'ommand- Ippiness of I company. |e sense of of that -e. I had [that ia tha 1 3th. I CAxMF. to the table of the Lord with the church at Cornwallis, and enjoyed much of divine truths : but I think I enjoy more under the sermons than at the breaking of the elements. I veiily believe that many christians set too much by the elements or the command, as though they expected a blessing of reward hereafter, for following or obeying the command- of Christ, or external observations ; for it is a truth that it does them no more good, than it proves a means of stirring up and awakening the heart : and that is all it is given to us for : and so are all the means of grace. 14th. I HAD some trials of a hard heart, but some lib- erty in the evening. There was a yonng man that came from ^Vindsor to see me, and hear the gospel, being under great convictions. My soul can rejoice at limes at the pro- motion of the Redeemer's cause j but O that I had greater longings for it. l5th. I HAD some happy moments this day. O ho^v • little do I know or enjoy, considering what God has done, and is doing for me. 1 am am amazed at myself. What privileges I am indulged with, and how little I am transformed to tiie holiness of Gcd. 16th. C) THE distance that I find myself from God this day until the evening, wi^en I was preaching, my soul ■was hroi>ght nigh to God. But I count it a blessing to see my blindness and feel my death. It is light that discovei's darkness, and life feels death. 17th. This day I left Cornwallis to go to Annapolfs with two men that came for me. O that Jesus would go .with me, and make this a prosperous journey. • O that my Jesus v/oaid employ My heart and soul, w ith sacred joy. To sound the wonders of ids grace. ^ ' . O that I might a blessing- prove, To spread the sweetness of his love, , Amongst the worst of Adam's race; I RODE about 10 miles, and preached a lecture, and then rode several miles more the same day, and enjoyed some sweet moments on the road. \ 18th. This day I rode about 20 miles. Sometim.es my heart was at liberty, and then in prison. O the changes of the christian's frames. One hour they are ready to say, th^ir mountain stands strong, and they can rejoice ainU L2. rt!< i W 'J! t' i t^ ' \ 1 ' t ' ; ^1 i' ' ill 1 , i :'■* I ^ ! ]'-; M 1 i 126 REV. HEKRV ALLINR'b think they are the happiest creatures in the world : the next hour, if they do not continue their state, they feel darkness, death and blindness, and think there are none so unhappy. 19th. O THAT the world knew the happiness of the followers of the Lamb, and the sweetness I have found in his love, since I knew his ways*. For although 1 pas*, through many trials, unknown to the world, yet they prove for my good, and I enjoy more in one hour tlian all the world can give me. fOth. Many thronged to hear the word this day. My- self and others had great liberty. O the sweetness of the gospel, when the soul can feed on it. In the evening God smiled on some of his children, so that they could, hardly speak in exhortation or in prayer, being so much, overcome with joy and love. 21st. I RODE about 10 milc", and preached a sermon. The power of God was so great, that every christian there i-ejoiced. 2 2d. O HOW happy do I find this body of sin and death ; how it giicves and wounds my heart. O that eve- ry fetter were broken, and every mountain removed. 23d. This day I visited some that were just in the grave, and to all appearance strangers to Christ. O what a shocking thought it is for a man to live 1% the world threescore years and ten, and die out of Christ, and go to hell. In the evening I preached, and it was clearly evi- dent that God was there, by the influences of his Holy Spirit. 24th. I PREACHED this day of'Christ's sufferings- and works among the fallen race. I tiiink God was pleased to discover to me and others some important truths of the ev- erlasting gospel. O the worth of God'6 word, when open- ed and applied by his Holy Spirit. 25th. I FOUGHT almost the whole of this day with the \ the old man, and obtained no victory, but remained still in captivity till the evening;, and thought I could for a short time triumph over my inward foes. 26th. Sometimes 1 think I know some little of God, it seems almost needless to publish his name, or attempt to do it : yea, the more I see, thv more I perceive my igno- rance. O for wisdom from ?ibove to. humble the soul> and exalt the. Redeemer* LIFE AND JOURNAL. 1 «• : the ley feel: lone so of the found 1 pass y prove all the . My- of the evening could, o much. sermon, m there jin and hat eve— d. in the what 5 world id go to rly evi- ls Holy igs- and eased to r the €v- ;n open- with the 1 still in a short of God, :empt to ly igno- oul> and '^7th. This day I preach jd to a great number of peo- p^fe in a bari\. Many of tlie christians were rejoicing. But v) how little is my soul affected to wl»at it should l>f:, in de- livering such truths. Although I sometimes feel my soul awake and happy, and engaged beyond what I can ex- press, yet it is no ways adequate to the importance of thi? subject ; and the more I sec and feel, mulhinlcs the less I see and feel in my own conception. 28th. I ENJOYED this day some happy moments, auri had some heavy hours and darkness. O vvhcit a crooked and uneven walk the christian's walk is. One hour ii; liberty and rejoicing, the next in prison and grieving. 29th. This day I rode with company some distance and then preached. 1 think my soul felt the power of the gospel ; likewise many others. () the sweetness of God*s word, when it comes with power to tlie sou!. Ah I little does the world know what the christians enjoy. 30th. O THE death that 1 feel this day at times -in my soul ; and then for a short moment would get relief again : and would think that I should not get so imprisoned again ; and perhaps in an instant would find^ myself again in a wildeniess.. O that I could live with God every hour of my life, and desert from him no more. 3 1 St. Rode in company some distance, and preached. Conviction seemed to be revived on the minds of many, and christians got some blessings.. My own soul enjoyed happy moments, but too soon got away again from God in the dark. Great i& the kindness of my Saviour's hand, * Who leads me thro' this world's deceitful land ; Guards me in peace from all the rage of hell, Amidst my foes makes me in safety dwell. June 1st. Throu(3h the unbounded goodness of my God, who fills the heavens with his glory, I am brought to the beginning of another month in health of body, and sometimes in health of soul. O might I now. give up my soul, my hand, my tongue, my life, and aU to the R jcJeeruer. 2d. O the happv -;ioments I have found sometimes at my pen, when I fino iny soul disentangled froni every amusement, and stayr.d upon God, and feeding on hig love. Bv*t I am grieved that I enjoy no more, when I am so much indulged. This day I have hours aloni and none to make me afraid ; but still I find pride and unbelief bars mc from much of the .love of God, •^'fK^ mv' ¥.Pi n^jV. IIF.NRY AI.r.INL n 1' ZO,. Freaciifd tliiii day two scnnoiis in ;i lurp;c barn,- an JOUR>NAL. r2f ched a 'n soiU s, and ' them, my itdoX; fl the; '; very cl sin- iared 1 and M to Ejood orJd, gno- j» -.'■■•• ■ irge )me any of them. I rode to a meeting-house, where I preachecj again, and some of the brethren exhorted and prayed. Some of them were almost ready to leave their bodies with rap- tures. 1 1th. O thR mournful hours of darkness with a sense, of the body of sin and death I was burthened with this day ! O how can I live any longer witliov.t Ciod. O where sliould I go for help or rest, if I had nc God : but blessed, be his name, he appears. 12th. I HAD some liberty this day, especially in preaching ; but not so much as my soul longed for. When, O when will Jesua give me more hberty of soul ? When sliall I get more victory over sin and death, and live and. walk with God every hour of my life ? 13th» None but christians can tell the burthen of^ death and darkness they have sometimes to bear. The sinners know not, they are dead. I had some happy mo- ments this evening when preaching, and some sinners were convicted. O that God would convert their souls. 14th. I RODE about 11 miles and preached, and thea about 13 miles in the evening ; and a hippy evening it was to me riding alone through the woods. 1 thouglit it wa\ as happy a ride as ever I knew, 8ind although it was very dark, yet that darkness was pleasant to me, because I liad light within. O the unspeakable worth of a heavenly friend,, and the sweetness of conversing with him. 15th. Mt mind at times seemed stayed on God thif day ; but I had some ilarkness and trials for part of the day ; yet the Lord was kind, and blessed be his name. 16th. As 1 came to Horton last evening I met this y day the church of Horton and Comwallis. Some mem*^ bers were added to the church ; and it was a day of joy to christians ; and it was the joy of my heart to meet. with, them and see them happy. 17th. A TERY large number met this day from three towns, and part of the churches came to the Lord's table« The Lord gave his children a great sense of his love. O^ that I could love him more. 18th. This morning I had some happy momenta^ . an# spent some time with three men that were under con- viction, who came from a great distance to see me. O may they be brought to knpw the Lord and to enjoy hi^Ss Ipve.. ICO RKV. HENRY ALLINE's n \ 19lh. I HAD not mucli liberty this day until the eve- ning when prcachinj^. God gave my soul '.i sense of his love ; and many of the children of ( iod were also jjjrcatly blessed. Some were almost carried out of the body with divine discoveries. 20th 1 WKNT to Falmouth, and had not much liberty in my soul till the evening. O that 1 could find my whole soul awake to love, pray and praise my Ood, and that I niii^ljt enjoy him every hour of niy life. 21r,t. Many assembled this day to hear tlie gospel, and God made it a good day to his children, and to some tinners in awakening them, and bringing them to cry out for mtrcy. O tha* they might find relief to their souls. It was also a good oay to my soul ; but I do pot live so near to God as I think I might. 22d. I THINK I long to live above rII things here be- low, and have my mind continually stayed upon God, that I might feed upon his love, and praise his nnme, as long a» 1 live, 2od. Many dark moments I waded through this day, and it seemed I was the most unhappy of all beings, I find the nearer I have lived to God, the more distressing it is to be in the dark. O how can I bear his absence s'o long ? I must have some glimpse of his love, or I cannot live. I find he is kind, and reclaims mc very often. 24th* This morning my soul seemed at liberty before meeting, and part of the day. O the happiness of having the mind borne away above the vs^orld I and it was a day of rejoicing to the christians There was the greatest num- ber thot ever I saiv attend in that town, and they appesured to give great attention. 25th. Who could have thought, unless they had known it by experience, that a christian could so soon get* his mind in prison, after he has had such liberty, which was my case this day ? but, blessd be God, he soon appeared again and gave me some taste of his love. O may he have the praise, ard may my soul rejoice in him. 26th. I THOUGHT I should not have had liberty this day ; for I would have it for about a moment, and was then in darkness a;.;ain ; but in the afternoon when I preached, the Lord gave my soid more liberty, than I have had for some time. Many of the christians were likewise rejoicing* () that I could love such a good God more, and live morei to his praise^. ' • ^ . LlfE AND JOUUNAL, 131 the eve- 56 of his ) p^fcatly "»(ly witii :li liberty II y uhole ncl that I gospel, to some ' cry out r souls. live so icre bc- od, that long a» lis day, iigs. I ressing ence so cannot before having' day ©f num- )eared had )n get h was cared ly he this then - ; 1 for cing-^ iioroL 27th. I uoDK with a christian friend from place to place, and conveised with, the pe(Ji)le. The doors of same liouaes were open to converse, but others so evidently shut, that I soon left them. As for myself, 1 passed this day through various seenes of light and darkness 28th. I wENr over to Windsor wit. i tour or five in company, and preaciiid a lecture there. Tlic Lonl caused some movings amonr;,st the people, and I eiijoyed some happy mom«iUs in my soul. O that I could feci thw love of Jesus every hour. 29th. I WENT to sec some people uutler some mov- ingfi of the Sph'it, but did not enjoy nuich hl.>-.ily :r. my own soul. • C) how unhappy it is lo feel a load of c';- ith and darkness, pride and luibelief, williout some lijjlit and libei ty. 30tli. It seems an enccurugement to sre li'^oplc j^ive such a'tention in tlii;: dar'.: ph'xe as I :o<)d day to I'.nMi souls indeed. July Ist. This day was a vyood day to the ehri^tians, who were there mostlv from otl^er towns ; and some sin- ners were under conviction. We met again just before sun-down, ^nd many people attended. , 2d. t jfAD some happy moments tliis day, likewise , some darkness. O that 1 could enjoy Cod every hour, and live to him. r O would the Lord stoop dovin so low, To ruard iviy i'cet where'er I g-o, And devote nie lo Ills praise. O lake nie, take i"ne near to thee, .- And let mc but buctcssful be, In thy cause all my days. 3d. I ENjoYKD this day some happy hours; and about the middle of the afternoon, I took a walk, and thought I felt not only a nearness to God, but likewise some peculiar impres- sions on my mind of the necessity of giving all up to God, let what would come ; aiid I saw the need I stood in of having a friend to loan unon. I often told tlie Lord that 1 never should be able to go through the storms of the world witli- out a sense of a present friend, and seemed as nYuch en- gaged to miplore the hand of God to supportr me, as if I. licid knov/n I lu\d some trials to no through immcdiatelv. And m i :ss than an hour I was threatened of my life by two or three men. An ofiicer of emin-rants came to me > first with his reproaches in the public street, scymg, lie 1 39 1''\ itt REV. HENRY ALLINE^S I told wanted that I should convert him have expected good manners and civility from a nian that made his appearance, letting alone religion ; and that I wondered that one like him wonld assault a stranger in that manner in the public streets. Pie then began to curse and «wear, asking me what riglrt I had to preach. I told him it was out of my power to give him the least account of it. He then raged in a most shocking manner, and threatened •my life, with bitter oaths. After this two ruffians went by the house where 1 was with drawn swords, -swearing they would take away my life, but did not come in the house^ .although there was not one that resisted them : neither .'did I attempt to hide or flee from them, but was sitting in * tlie house discoursing with some christians. Thus I saw, that in all their rage, there was an awe upon them. O tlwkt they might see and repent before it is too late. 4th. About five in the afternoon, came an officer to the house where I was, in an insulting manner. The mafi of the house turned him out of the doors. After which he cursed and blasphemed, and laboured to break open the door with a stick of wood. In a few moments there were near twenty men round the door, many of them swearing they would l)e the death of me. I was advised by some in the house to go out at the back door and getaway, I replied that I would -do it by no means, 1 was called there \yy God, and there I would stay, till duty called me away. I opened the window, and asked them what they wanted of me ; telling them to act like reasonable men ; and if I had done them any wrong, I was ready to answer for it. After " which I told the people of the house that 1 would go out among them, and see if I could not pacify them. My friends advised nie not to go out, telling me they would cer- tainlv kill me. I told them I feared not, and that I . would go out, and they might fasten themselves in. I then opened the door, and went out. They came around me, and one of them, lifting up his hand, swore he would be revenged on me. I caught him by the forepart pf his coat with meekness, and begged him to con- sider what he was about, and to act like a rational man. He cursed an ] swore for a ^vhile, but did not strike me. By this time the officer and otherj in the company became so calm as to talk witli me. I wes thirn told by the officer, that lie would advise nae as a friend to desist frotii preaci;- I iTfiight man that d that I er in that ;urse and told him ant of it. lireatened s went by ,ring they le house^ : neither sitting in Lus I saw, .. O that officer to The man which he open the nts there of them idviscd by get away, lied there me away, wanted of d if 1 had it. After lid go out em. Mv • vould cer- id that I selves in, ey came nd, swore u by the m .0 con- Mi al man. erne. By ecame so le officer, a preach- IIFE AND JOURNAL. IfS ing, or leave the place. I told him, I should obey God be- fore man. He then told me my life would be t£Lken away in a few days if I continued preaching. I told him I would preach when 1 was called ; neither was I about to leave the place, until duty called me from it : and after some more conversation with him and others of the company, I bid him a good night, and went in the house. A little after I got in, another party of men came round the corner, and rushed up to the door, inquiring for me in a great rage ; but did not come in the house, but remained round the door, some of them mocking and hooting, while we were singing and praying. 5th. This day my life was threatened, if I walked out. But God was stronger than a strong man armed ; for I had no hands laid upon me. In the evening they came round the house where a number of us had met to sing and to pray, cursing, swearing and threatening. O may I ever have a heart to pity them and to pray for them, as long as they are objects of prayer. O that they might return and consider before the great day 6th. Blessed be God for his kindness and love to me this morning, wheji walking out in the fields. Then I found it was easy to suffer any thing, if Christ was with me. But O without him, how could I stand the storms of this world, and what is worse, those of my own heart ? Yea> I found by what trials and persecutions I went through, body, whicli I might suffer by any corporeal punishment, 1 found that I could sometimes bear and endure them, with a resolute spint of the gospel in exercise, and not have my heart suitably affected with the spirit of Christ, This would not be suffering for Christ's sake. And herein I believe many arc deceived about bearing the cross, even when they seem to bear it patiently without reflection and resentment, or any desire of revenge ; bearing trials and reproaches bold- ly and with fortitude, and expect a reward, when tliey are not really aiming at the glory of God, nor truly influenced with his Spirit ; that spirit of tlie blessed Redeemer and his gospel ; which they ought to have, to bear his cross. . 7th. The vessel that I had been waiting for to go to the county of Cumberland was now come in. I went ou 134 K-EV. HENRT ALLim.'s board of her, aiid the same day we sailed, after I had bid my friends farewell, promising to return to them as soon as possible. We lay in the bason of Mines all that night. About midnight there was a terrible thunder-storm, but the Lord was kind to me, blessed be his name for it. 8 th. On Sabbath-day I got to Partridge -island, and preached there about seven in the morning to what people were there. They were about 20 in number, and seemed to give great attention to the word preached, and my own soul was also blessed. And great, yea great was God*s goodness to me. O that I could love him with all my soul ! 9th. I RODE through tlie woods about 50 miles to where it was inhabited. I was then in a strange place, where I never had been before : but O the Loixl remem- bered his poor unworthy servant, and gave me many bles- sed moment^ when riding alone. O the woi th of an invis- ible, kind, infinite and uneliangeable friend. 10th. The people heard I was come in, and therefore were ready to attend the gospel. I preached a sermon, and the Lord was kind, and gave a blessing. 1 found there some sincere christians, who knew the voice of the gospel, and rejoiced to hear it, and blessed God that he had sent me. 11th. I CROSSED the river to Amherst point, and preached there in the evening ; I found many there, who were rejoicing to hear the gospel, and God was kind to them, and blessed their souls by me. O that I may always love to serve God and his children. 12th. Blessed be God I am what I am, and ai^i safe- ly conducted wherever I go, and blessed with all 1 need of this world's good, and some blessings the world knows no- thing of. O the sweetness of the mercies of God, when it is seen and felt in all the movings of his hands. O that I could live under a continual sense of his love and goodness, O how happy should I be i 13th. I RODE to Fort Lawrence, and preached there in the evening, and God was there. O what liberty my soul felt to proclaim my Redeemer's name and his gospel ; Avhich I then thought and still think, is a favourable symp- tom of God's intended goodness. Many people both chris- tians and sinners were there ; and that night the work of God began. The christians were not only rejoicing but many sinners were taken hold of by the Spirit of God. 14th» O how little do I know ai;i enjoy God to what I had bid I as £0on that night, m, but the • sland, and hat people nd seemed id my own was God's II my soul 1 miles to inge place, •I'd remem- many bles- of an invis- d therefore a sermon, found there the gospel, ad sent me. point, there, who ^as kind to may always nd aiii safe- lU I need of I knows no- od, when it , O that 1 d goodness . Lched there liberty my his gcspel ; •able symp- ; both chris - he work of ijoicing but of God. od to what LIFE A*'D JOURNAL. 135 ard J ought '. I am amazed that any one day can be spent as this was, with so little sense of divine things : yet, blessed be God, I long for the more sweet enjoyment of him. 1 5th. Tiiia day being Sabbath day, such a number of people attended that I was obliged ta preach in the open field. O it was a day of God*s powers especially amon%- the christians, who began to travail foi souls. My own soui had also a blessing granted to it. 1 6th. I WENT up the river and preached. 1 found tiio Lord still with me, who blessed my labours, ihit ah I havt: reason to be ashamed, that I have no more love and grat- itude, when I am so much indulged. O that my whole soul was awake. . 17th. O SHALL I say that I walked with God this day., and tliat my soul was conversing with him as v/itli a father. Yea, happy moments my soul enjoyed in the love of Jesus, O that 1 could live with him thus all my days. In the c- vening I preached again in the fields. 18th. I WENT over to Fort Lawrence, found my soul a live in God, and he blessed my labours. O the sweetness of heavenly joys I little does the world know what chriri- tians enjoy in their God. Lord ever more give me Xhm bread. 19th. I PREACHED this day near the garrison. Some; of the officers came to hear, and a great croud of people of all sorts. And O what a desire I had, yea a longing desire that God woul give me success ; and I trust the day waa not wholly lost. Some were blessed with light, and some with love. 20th I PREACHED at Mrs. , and it was a c\ay of tiod's pov/er. The people thronged with hungry souls to hear the word. The glorious gospel of Jesus is getting a good name here ; and let me serve him witli all my soul. 2fst. I PREACHED this day at 2 o'clock in the after- noon, and then rode some distance and preached again at 7 in the evening. I enjoyed this day some happy moments, and some trying ones. O that I had more light, love and humility, and liberty in the gospel. 22d. I PREACHED two scrmons this day, and God was kind to me and to others. Methinks I feel willing to preach and labour until I die, if I could but have my soul at the time alive with God, and humbled at his feet. 23d. I RODK much this day and preached often, and :i' iii 13G »EV. HtNRY ALLXNE*S almost every sermon to those who had heard me before, and God was kind to me and to the people and a blessing at- tended by labours almost at every sermon. May Jesus have the praise. 24th. Blp:ssed moments I enjoyed part of this day, especially wlien preaching;. But () I had many a battle >vith the old man and past through many storms ; but Je- j«us my Lord was kind and gave me the victory. And one day I hope and trust to obtain the victory fully, yea the final conquest, and see my Captain face to face in everlastinp; joy. 25th. 1 WKNT with some cln'isUan friends to Mci^iam- cook, wh * 27th. I ROSE by break of day on account of the tide j "we sung and prayed and refreshed our bodies, and set out to go lower down tlie river, and stopt at the lowest village, Vvhere J liad promised to stop as I returned. The people were chiefly Germans, Init they universally attended, and many were taken hold of by the word. Most of them could understand English and \vould not take a denial, but I must visit them again if I lived : which I promised I would, if ever I came to the county again. () the kindness of my God. What reason have 1 to love him for his goodness to .me and to others. 28th» i GOT three men more to go with me to Shepody.. ' 1 enjoy<,^d happy moments on our way. We would often *ing and pray, while in the boat and God was with us. 29th. SABBATifday. The people being informed I was come, attended, and God was pleased to give a bless- ing. I endeavoured to labour and pray with them, the lit.^ lie time I was there, and it was not in vain. The people LIFX AND JOURNAL. isr before, and lessing at- lay Jesus this day, y a battle i but Jc- And one ?a the final lusting; joy. Mci^am- :1 went for- :k, intend- 1. In the od gave a people to 5 the river iftcrnoon I ppointed a ttended a- t blessings le blessed n his bless- f the tide j ind set out :st viilaj^e, 'he people inded, and hem could but I must would, if ess of my ;oodness to 3 Shepody* fould often th us. n formed I ve a bless - m, the lit^ he people seemed very glad of an opportunity to hear the gospel, in- treating me to return, if possible, and see them again. O may the seeds sown never be plucked up. Lord, bless them', redeem their souls, and get all the glory to thy blessed name. 30th. About three in the morning after singing and praying we set out on our return to Meriamcook, got there about twelve, and after some refreshment of body I preach- ed there. God was pleased to water his gospel, especially ampng the young people. We then left boat and took our horses. O let me rejoice and bless God for what I have seen of his goodness to me, and success of his gospel in that dark corner of the globe. 1 now left some young men, that went with us to manage the boat. And O what a de- sire I had that God would reward them with a portion far better than this world. Some of them appeared very much awakened, and blessed be God, before I left the county of Cumberland, one of them was brought to the knowledge of Jesus : and I expect to see him one day in the Kingdom of Glon\ O may the others be brought in likewise. I rod« to Sackfield to C. D. Esq* 31st. This day after visiting some people I preached in the evening, and God was there with such power, that some, who had known the truth before, were almost over- come with ipy. O that I could love him more. The month is gone ; vHat have I done For my dear Saviour'a name ^ What shall I say, what shall I do, That will advance his fame ? My coldness, O my God, forgive,. And every weak desire receive. AvovsT 1st. O might my soul now be inspired with grace,, To spread good news unto the fallen race. O Jesus, lead me in thy blessed name, , To be successful in thy bleeding fa\ne : And let me serve thee with my heart and soul As long as mortal hours and moments roll. Then receive mp to thy bles^'d abode, Where 1 for ever shall enjoy my God, This was a good day to me, especially when I preached. God blessed my labours to some poor souls. 2d. After singing and praying with my friends in that part of the town, I rode with a christian man about 15 miles and preached. O how my soul longed for liber-- \ ■*■ ■■ m ElV. HEKKT ALL|!fE*!» I 1, ^ "I ty. It seemed as if I could not live so any lonj^er ; for t just began to know the worth of liberty. O that my bles- sed Jesus would bless my soul with much of his love and' presence. 3d. God gave me this day some liberty of soul. I preached with some success to some of the capital men of that placC) who began to listen to the gospel ; and som& of the officers of the garrison were very attentive. One of them, after sermon, invited me to dine >vith him the [Monday next : and when I went I was treated with great civility. He acknowledged the truths of the gospel, and promised me whatever assistance I wanted, while travel- ling in that county, as he was the chief commander. He told me, he had heard I had been abused by one of his un- der officers, which he was grieved for. He told me fur- ther, that I should not have an insult from any in the gar- rison, but their help, if I needed it., And thus I saw, that God is able to cause all things to work together for the good of his children : for this very officer had letters from other officers against me, and was desired to take me up, aod although he had no real religion, yet he could not op- pose, but encourage the gospel. 4th, The church now began to gather together .in gospel fellowship, without any bars or separation about dif- ferent sects or denominations, but whoever loved and brought Christ and belonged to him were freely received into full communion.. 5th. This was a day of God's power. I preached three times, and some souls were set at liberty by the blood of the Lamb, and brought from the borders of eter- nal ruin to rejoice in the wonders of redeeming love. A great number of people attended, and many of the capital men. O the desire I had to be a blessing to them that day. 6th. Spent some time in the garrison, and then rode- about fix miles and preached in a large barn. And I be-~ lieve, that Jesus was there. O the sweetness ol being withi Jesus. O may it be forever my lot and portion to enjoy him. 7th. I COULD not find this day that liberty my soul longed for» My soul seemed like a stranger here, and was \g6pt in fetters and in prison against |ny will. O I longed to get the victory over sin, and could say with Sampson, O \ LIFE ANn JOUR*fAL. 139 r ; for t ny bles- love and' soul. I :al men nd some B. One him the ith great ipel, and ; travel- er. He f his un- me fiir- the gar- jaw, that for the ers from e me np, i not op-- jether.in bout dif- ved and received ^reached by the of eter- 10 ve. A capital ;m that len rode- Id I be-. ig withi enjoy ly soul md was longed )son, O Lord, give me strcnf^th this once, that I may be avenged on the Philistines, for my two eyes : for there is nothing, no nothing so great a burthen to me as darkness and sin. 8th. This morning I set out with about 20 people oi> horseback to the Bay Veid» We sung and prayed on the road, and when v/e came there, I preached in the after- noon and in the evening, and God gave a blessings The people desired mt to remain all night, and preach again m tiie morning, which I did, and God was tlitre. 9th. After I had preached and prayed, we took leave of the people, and returned back to Cumberland. But Q the trying hours I had on my mind this evening on ac- count of darkness. 10th. This was a good day to me, especially in the evening, when being wearied in body, I told my friends I must go to my bed as soon as I could : but in prayer it pleased God to come with such power, that some in the room who before had been careless, were takon hold oF and roared out for mercy : and there were three souls brought out rejoicing that night ; oneof which was a young lady, who was dressed with her high head, and other su- perfluous ornaments, who was taken hold of with such power, that she never ceased crying for mercy in the greatest agony of soul, till she was delivered, and I think brought into as great Uberty as ever I saw any one in so short a time. (And although the powers of antichrist fight hard against such sudden and powerful conversions, yet, blessed be God, I was naw an eye-witness of one brought from a careless state to the triumph of faith in about two hours, and as I have known her since, she con- tinues toDe"a remarkable ornament to the gospel she pro- fesses. Many more I have known brought through very suddenly (who provf cl hy their christian walk, to be sin- cere) though not so siidden as she was ; but I believe ma- ny have been more instantaneous.) And O what a bles*. sed night that was. Some were praying, and some prais- ing with a loud voice and sincerity of soul all the nights As for my own part, I never closed my eyes to sleep rill the next day. O that I had a heart to give the glory to my^ blessed master I 1 1th. This day I had some happy moments in preach- ing, but about twelve of the clock at night, being in my bed-coom alone, I heard some young people praying and 140. REV. HENRY ALLINE's * :M groaning with bitter groans for meicy, and pleading for one drop of the blood of Christ to wash away their sins, which so affected mc, that I could not close my eyes all night to irleep, being under such a sense of the deplorable condition of the unconverted, hearing them (as I went out of the room) express their miserable danger approaching, and lost and undone condition, while out of Christ, in so great agonies and distress, as if they were just plunging into eternity and ruin. O the wretched state, that sinners are in, and do not know it ! 12th. 1 preached three sermons this day, and God brought some souls to Christ, and many christians to re- joice in great liberty. I'he hearers were so numerous, that I was obliged to preach in the fields. O how my soul travailed, wliile speaking, when I beheld many groaning under almost insupportable burthens, and crying out for mercy. This day the church met to receive members, and according as I had advised tliem, no mention was made, of I what think ye of Paul, Apollos, or Cephas ; but what think ye of Christ. O the power of the Holy Ghost that was among the people this day. A number joined the church, and some sinners v, ere brought to re j nice in Jesus Christ their friend. 14th. O THE heavy moments I went through part of this day, mourning the absence of God my friend. O dark- ness, darkness, how can I bear it ? when, O wtien will God ^-eturn ? However God was kind to me, and did not leave me long in the dark. In the evening I rode about six miles and preached. After which I set out with about twen- ty people on horseback. We s\ing as we were riding, then prayed and then sung again ; and when singing, the Lord was pleased to set one mourning soul at liberty, who was about forty years of age. 15th. I RODE with a number of people to Sackfield, but did not enjoy that love and liberty of soul, as sometimes I do. O what a grief it is to think that I should be dark '4nd cold, when I am in the cause of God, and the Re- deemer's work reviving. O how can I be so cold ; why is not my whole soul awake with love and gratitude in praises to mv God. 16th. This day the church met, and about twenty were added to it. It was a blessed day to my soul, espe- cially at about eight o'clock in the evening : . when speak- LIFE AND JOURNAL. Ul for one , which ught to >ndition of the ig, and io great mg into lers are nd God is to re- merous, my soul ;roaning out for )ers, and made, of lat think that was ; church, [S Christ h part of O dark- will Cod not leave about six lOUt twen- ling, then the Lord who was Sackfield, ometimes Id be dark the Re- l ; why is in praises ut twenty soul, espe- li en speak- ing to the christians, my whole soul was so ravished with the love of Jesus, thai 1 could scarcely speak ; yea, my very heart seemed melted with love. O the love, the infinite love of my God I Hovt is my soul on the wing when 1 have but one glimpse of that sacred love : and if one glimpse is so great and transporting, what will it be to swim forever in the infinite ocean, and notliing to annoy. O my Jesus, shall I ever be so happy ; shall 1 one day awake in perfect joy with thee ? O it is all I want, and all I need. Give it to me, O my God, and thine be the glory, for ever. Amen. 17th. Preached at five in the morning, and God was there of a truth. We then sung and prayed in the street, after which I left the people, rode ten miles, and then preached again. And O what shall I say ? my heart longs to acknowledge the goodness of God to the wretched chil- dren of men. My heart and soul was at liberty, and some blessings were sent by mc. I then rode a mile, and preach- ed in the evening ; and the Lord still continued his good- ness. After sermon my heart leaped for joy to have an old judge, who had been also a major in the king's service^ come and take me by the hand, telling me, wifth t^ars in his eyes, I am happy to see you once more. I repl.ed, I hope 1 shall be so happy as to see you a brother in Christ, and enjoy an everlasting day with you. He answered, I kope I shall ; for, blessed be God, I am now convinced that I have been all my days in the drirk, and that this is the on- ly way to eternal life and happiness. God grant, said I, thai you may be brought out and become a father in IsraeL 1 hope I shall, replied he, although in the eleventh hour. 18th. I HAD this day some darkness and someUghtin my own soul. O what on uneven walk is the christian's walk tlu'ough this wilderness state. O what a mystery 1 am to myself ! When I get near to God, I can hardly think 1 shall see such times again. But O my master changes not. I preached in the evening, and a number more joined the church. 19th. O what a day of joy was this to the christians t The church partook of the sacrament of the Lord's Sup- per. Many of them were as full of love as they could con- tain, both under the sermon and at the table, and seven souls were, I believe, born to Christ this day. O the shout* of praise that were heard among the christians, both old ^d young ! Many sinners were groaning under the burthea X / 14) KKVr IIENBV ALLINK's - 1* . 1 1 1 I i- ■ , f* '1 t I; I 'i!^ ii i M of their sins, and pleading for mercy, and for the blood o^ Christ with unspeakable agonies of soul. O may Jesus bring them tli rough to share with us, and forever join ts glorify his blessed name. 20th. I uoDE "with fifteen in company about ten miles, crossd a river, and preached. I found God still working with jyjwer. Three precious and immortal souls were brought out rejoicing, and many more begging for rzwcy. Publicans and harlots enter the kingdom before the phaii- sees. One who had been an officer's wife, was brought from deep distress, even the borders of despair, to rejoice in the blessed Redeemer. O what a wonder of wonders to see the offscourings of all things, who have long been wa!- iowing in wickedness, married to the spotless Lamb of God, received into his embraces, rejoicing in his smiles and made heirs of everlasting love. Yea it is no wonder that scribes and pharisees think strange (and the gospel becomes a stumbling block to them) to see such wicked creatures return to God and rejoice in his love, when they have lived so long and lalioured so much, and still remain strangers to the true peace of conscience and joy in the Holy Ghotit. Yea, when those, that are brought from such a life of de- " bauchery, declare what they have found, what they enjoy of God, and v/hat they think of the moralists (as young con- verts are very apt to do) how hard is it for the moralists tO' believe them > who have been so lontr members of churches, and are advocates in the externals of religion. What, say they, thou wast altogether born in sin, and dost thou teach \is ? O the mystery of the gospel, and the blindness of the natural man. 2 1st. I PREACHED a scrmon this morning to a large- number and bid them farewell. I think their souls were ' brought to rejoice in God, and the christians greatly reviv- ed. As for my own part I was so filled with love to God and to his childrea (when we seemed all wrapped up in unity of the Spirit and bonds of peace) that my heart was ready to burstj and sometimes ready to cry out in the language of the spouse, Stay me with flagons, comfort me with ap- ples, for 1 am sick of love. A nd when I left them, I eould hardly speak, although not with grief, for I could leave them freely, but was so affected with what I saw and felt ©f God*S love and goodness ; and to think I should one day meet them in glory,to love and praise my God to all etemi* ' blood oir y Jesus join te n miles, working Is were r:''vcy. i phari- brought rejoice iders to en >val- ofGod, les and ler ihut ccomes 'eatures ve lived igers to Ghotit. ; of de- y enjoy ng con- alists to lUrchcs, lilt, say u teach 3 of the a large' s were r reviv- iod and 1 nnily i ready iguage ith ap- I eould leave nd felt ne day etemi* LIFK AND JOURKAl.. 443 ly, bore my soul above the world. I then rode to Partritlgc Island, and O the happy moments I had on the way 1 Me- thinks I cowld say, 1 conversed with God as with a friend. 22d. This morning about break of day I was called out of my bed, and carried on board a privateer, but not out of any ill will to me, only they found, there was such a man there with a horse, and they, intending to take some vessels from out of the bason, were afraid that I should carry back intelligence to Cumberland before they had got ready to sail from that harbour. When I came on board, the cap- tain told me I should suffer no injury, but have whatever I wanted, and be put ashore again as soon us tlicy could, which accordingly they did in the evening, after they had tal^en three prizes. Let them that wish well to their souls flee from privateers as they would from the jawe of hell, for methinks a privateer may be called a floating hell. 23d. I ENJOYED this day sonic happy moments at my pen and likewise in my private walks about the Island, X must acknowledge, the kindness of God to me is great, yea very great, and his tender mercies are over all his works. O that I had no other Gods but him, and could serve him with all my soul, and enjoy him for ever ! 24th. O THE sweetness of trusting in God t We often say, we trust in God and depend on him, when we are far from it, and only give a stupid assent. And herein, I be> lieve thousands and thousands are deceived even in their own salvation. They say they believe in Christ, trust in God, depen<. only on free grace and the blood of Christ, and they wait for the mercy of God, and if they pericsh they will perish at Christ's feet ; and at the same time it is only from the lips outward (if I may vulgarly express myself) but the heart knows nothing of all this, and remains both ignorant and careless, yea and many go down to the grave with those expressions in their months, while the devil r«igns in their hearts, and so plunge themselves into eter- nal ruin. O Lord, undeceive poor precious and immortal souls. 25th. I WAS this day in an open boat put across the bason to Horton, and left my horse behind me on Partridge island, the ferry-boat not being there. 26th. I PREACHED this day t\vic« in Horton court-house, and in the evening at the house of major H. and was oftci\ blest with great freedom^ in proclaiming'\he blessed name \ % ii I; V:-r 144 lEV. MKNRY ALLINE's «f ^csus, and his glorious gospel. In n^y private ho\irs the Lord was all my joy. Jesus, my Lord, I call thcc mine ; ' - * I feci thy word that makes me thine. Now on me gird the gospel sword, ^ AVith ilie whole armour of thy word, ^ To spreail the wonders of thy grace abroad, j 29th. After being hi Hortoii three days, I went this day to Cornwallis, wliere I stayed seven days, and happy days they were. Many of the christians were so carried away at the meetings, that they coidd not contain from cry- ing out ; but that was with great offence to the Pharisees. O that they would throw down their rebellion, and the weapons thereof, and come and partake with us the glo- rious feasts of the christians. September 5th. I went to Horton, preached there in the evening, and my soul and those of others were fed, having many happy moments in the enioyment of God, and the presence of Jesus. 6th. This day I went to Falmoutl ^ ..ere I had not been for some time, found many friends well, and rejoicing in the Lord. I preached the same evening, when a num- ber of ruffians came, some under the >vindows, and some in the door, howling and making all manner of noise to scoff at and ridicule us. After sermon a yo»ing discipte of Christ arose and spoke to them, warning them in the name of the Lord of Hosts (who, he told them, was viewing all their conduct, and heard their blasphemy) of their danger, telling them, that it was not the people they were scofTing ' at ancl despising, but the spirit of the meek and lov.ly Je- sus, the eternal Son of God, who died for their wretched souls, that they were making a mock of and blaspheming. As for us, added he, we do not regard how much you des- pisg and reproach us ; but for your sours sake, do not make a mock of the Lord Jesus Christ. 8th. I went to Newport, and I cannot say, but I en- joyed some happiness at times in my own soul. But O what hard preaching to such a dead people I Tho- gospel seems to slip by them without any more impression on them, than water upon glass. A large place, with many inhabitants, and at that time I fear but about five or six that were real Christians in it. O what a miserable con- dition to the gospel-hardened, to hear the gospel, and to consent to tlie truths, without any feeling or concern. CfF£ AND JOtJRlfAI.. H6 ours the ,vcnt this a happy carried rom cry- Miarisecs. and the the glo- hed there were fed, ; of God, 1 had not i rejoicing en a num- id some iri se to scoff liscipte of \ the name iewing all ;ir danger, re scoffing lov/ly Je- wretched pheming. you des- |ke, do not but I en- il. But O |ht> gospel •ession on •ith many ive or six irable con- Lel, and to Icern. I3tii. I WENT to Windsor, wliere I enjoyed happy 'moments in my soul, and was enabled to triumph over all my trials, and rejoice in J<5sus my friend. Blessed be God, when at Windsor, I had the happiness to see a woman, who had come fourteen miles to hear the gospel, delivered from the bondage of sin, and the borders of eternal perdi- tion, and brought to the glorious liberty of the children of God. She was so overjoyed, that she could not contain, but cried out in divine raptures, with shouts of praise to God, pnd exhorting souls to come and share with her. I continued preaching and visiting my friends, with whom I -enjoyed many happy days, until the 24th, and then 1 took leave of them for a season, intending, if Providence per^ mit, to go round to Cape Orsue and Cape Sable, where T never had been. 24th. I WENT to Hortonand preached there the same evening to a great crowd of people ; staid there and .preached again the iiext evening. O the sweetness of la- bouring in Christ's kingdom. I preached twice or three times almost every day. The more I preached, the mor« J loved it and longed to proclaim the name of Jesus to th« whole world. 26th. I WENT to Cornwallis and preached there inth« evening to a crowd of people : for my custom was to send word what hour I would be there. 28th. I LEFT Cornwallis, and rode twenty miles of .my way to Annapolis. O the sweet moments 1 enjoyed while I was riding, Jesus has so often blessed me, that I ^enjoyed sometimes I leaven while I was riding on earth. O my soul, ever love and adore such a friend, for he is all my life, all my strength, all my joy, and stands by me, wherever I go. When I came to Wilmot, I stopped and preached there, and always found the lovcof God free and 'his spirit ready, whenever my heart was open to receive it. Then Lord, with all my soul I'll comTS And cast myselF on thee. O lead me till I reach my home, From sin and sorrow n-ee. I REMAINED some days there and in Annapolis court* !ty and preached often to great crowds of people, and often «aw the power of God among the hearers, especially a^ anong the christians, who were very lively, and many c>{ «theHi rejoicing in triumph, , N i i46 HIV. KENRT ALLINE^S October 10th. I rode with a young man in com- pany as far as Annapolrs bason, and the next day to St. Mary's bay. There I found a disciple of Jesus Christ* I staid one night with him and his wife in their little cot- tage, and was as happy with them in it as in a palace. The next day the man and his wife went with me, in a boat, a- bout twelve miles, where I expected to stop and preach, five or six families being there. When I came, I found there two of the dear children of God. I thought to have gone trom there before the Sabbath, but could not, for the two men I had hired for that |*irpose disappointed me, and I had reason to bless God that it was so, for I preached the more among those poor people. Some of them were greatly awakenec, and in a >hort time there were three of them converted, I trust, and came, out rejoicing in God their Saviour. I preached, and talked^ and laboured with the people all the time I was there, and Gctl blessed my endeavours. O that I might ever live under a sense of his goodness, rejoice iji his love, and proclaim his name. 18th. 1 WKNT in a small boat with two men I had hired to carry me to Cape Orsue. We went but about six or seven miles that night, and staid with the French. The next moming we set out early with a fair wind, but when we came to a mountain, the wind was so high, that the men were afraid to go round the cape. I told them I had rather undertake to travel on foot than wait for an op- portunity to go by water. We travelled this day fourteen miles : the next moniing one of the men was taken so ill, that he could not travel ; for we were obliged to leave him in the camp, while the other man went with me to the set- tlements, and returned witli things for him. But he soon recovered. I travelled that day until it seemed as if I should drop dow'n with weariness ; for it was some of ray first travelling on foot. I was so wearied, that I was o- bliged to lean on the man's arm as I walked. I could hardly draw my feet after me, and we had nothing with us to eat, when we stopped, for we leu what we had with the sick man, expecting we should get in before we should want. /> s I was thus labouring, a remarkable instance of Providence happened. I asked the man how far we had to travel. He replied nine miles. I told him 1 should not get in that night. He said he would go in and fetch me a hoi'se for the rest of the way. Soon after he had spok« trFii ANIX JOURNAL. 1 47 these words, we espied five or six horses on the beach, that had come out so t"ai» from the the settlements, and witit- much trouble we caught two of them, with an intent to pay the owners for the use of them when we got in ; and wc got in without much more trouble. When we got to Cape Orsue I found the people very dark, and most of them op- posers to the power of Religion. The minister also at Chibogue came out and raged very high. Nevertheless there were doors opened for me, and I preached often while I was there, and some were awakened. The minis- ter raged sO'to my face, that I was obliged to tell him, that allowing I was ever so wroug, and was going to destruction, it was certain he was wrong, for he had discovered a mur- dering spirit in that rage and wrangling, which I told him was far from the spirit and ways of Jesus ; and at last liis passion was so high, that he left the house. When he was gone, his deacon, at whose house I was, vas so convinced, that '. e told me his house was open for me at any time« I travelled to Argyle and had some happy momeets on the way in the enjoyment of Jesus my blessed master. When I came there, many of the people seemed to be afraid of me ; but God soon began to work by his Spirit, which caused some to rejoice, and othera to cry out under a sense of their sins.^ O my soul could now rejoice, seeing the work of God beginning in that dark place. Often have I rose before day, and walked in the fields with joy, and I had much of the presence of God in speaking. Some christians that had long been in captivity, and were very dark, were enlivened, came out in public, and witnessed for the Lord Jesus Christ, and his gospel. O the happy hours jny soul enjoyed in. that place, both in public and private. Ah, I can say that I am in heaven, when I enjoy Christ, Let me be where I will, he is my life, he is my peace, he is my joy ; yea, he is all that can be enjoyed, and all that I ever expect or desire to enjoy, both for time and for eter- nity. O that I could always live in a feeling sense of his love and presence all my days. The people being much engaged and awakened, were with me continually, so that I was preaching, praying, exhorting or discoursing, almost all the lime, frotn early in the morning, till twelve at night. November 6th. I went down to Barrington, where I found the people very dark, yet they grv© attention, and soon began to be something awakened. 1 ' '' f i-' }l' I i n^ 1^43; REV. HENRY ALUNE'S 1 Itb. I WENT on board of a small schooner to go tav Liverpool, sailed all night, and was taken in the morning by an American privateer, carried back and put ashore where ive sailed Irom, which afterwards I was rejoiced for. I now went by land, and so preached to many little settle- ments, which I should have passed by.. 14th. I WKNT to port la Tore and preached the same evening. From thence I went to port Rosaway and preached there until the 20th, when I went to the Ragged islands, where I found a dear cLild of God, who very much rejoiced at hearing tliC gospel. Some sinners vere like- wise awakened, and I enjoyed happy hours in my own soul. the happiness of walking with Jesus !• What can be com- pared with one moment in his sensible presence ? Lord, ever keep nigh to thee, and humble at thy feet. 22d. I WEKT to Sable river, where 1 found a very dark people. I was enabled to labour with them both in public and private. , O that they would consider that their preci- ous souls might be saved. There were many on that shore, that had not heard a sermon for fourteen years preached unto them. Only sometimes one of their readei's %vould come along and read a sermon to them. O the dark miserable state of poor sinners ! What heart that has felt the woi th of souls can forbear to weep over them. O Je- sus, send thy faithful heralds to labour for their salvation,, and bring them to thyself. By thine own voice call forth the dead, And feed them with immortal bread. Take me, O Lord, into thy blessed arms, ^ And' hold me up to teadi the world thy charms, . • O may I bear thy messages of peace To wretched souls, till mortal hfe shall cease. December \ 1th. I landed at Liverpool, where I found; a kind people, but in midnight darkness, and vastly given to frolicking, rioting and all manner of levity. When I first preached among them, I had but little encouragement. 1 staid among them until the I5th, when I took a passage for Port Midway and Port Levy, where I found great atten- tion, and I myself enjoyed happy hours in delivering the messajjes of the Lord ; but there was not one that appear- ed to have any knowledge of Christ. . nd O how many perish after being awakened by restinp: on their awaken • ipigs, and take up with conviction for conversion. 24th,, I RETURNED to PoFt Midway and went up tht; %i '^Z AND JOURNAL. 1 149 A Falls to the mills and preached there the next d^y. Then travelled through the woods to Liverpool, where I preach- ed again in different places, and found some little movings among the people. Some began to fear their foundation to be wrong who had been professors ; and the Lord gav» me streng^th and liberty to declare the truths of the gospel ; and I told the elders and members of a church that was gathered there on a form, my mind of their standing, and t*he Lord shook many of them. From earthly oharins» O Jesus, set me free, ^ ' No muster let me serve and know but thee. I fain would spend' my life, and in thy naire To the wide world thy boundless love proclaim. Ja :uARY 1st, 1782. I traveled to the Falls in a vefy heavy snow storm, where still' I fonnd souls, whose dis- course was chiefly on their lost state,^ and the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, while others where opposing and despising the grace of God. I preached twice every day, and the houses were crowded. M^ny were very much a- wakened ; which was such a new thing (neither known nor heard of among' them) that many did not' know what ailed ' tiiem ; but still thirsted to hear me speak in the name of Christ. Many woultl hover around me after sermon, who seemed as if they longed to speak to me and unfold their ease^ but dared not to open their mouths, for it was new and strange to them and to the whole town ; for there never Rad been such a talk as a guilty conscience, a burthened mind, a hard heart or a stubborn will, or about any convic- tions or conversions ; nor of the love of God, or declaring what he had done for their souls ; but only if any one had (as they say) a desire to be religious, or had lost some re- lation by death (which is the cause of great numbers join- ing the churches) they go to the minister, and he advises them to join the church, Sec. I remained in Livei*pooi and preached in different parts by night and day. 6th. Being Sabbath day I preached two sermons in the day ; and at nighf I was asked to preach down to the Point. When I came there the house was crowded in eve- ry part to a great diegree. And I think I had the greatest fi-eedom to argue with them and to entreat them, that lever had in the place. My soul was full, and the truths of G«d seemed to pour into my mind faster than I could deliver them. I had every thing to say to the people, that 1 desired: 150 REV. HXKRY ALLIKE'S li, ' . 'U. ^fli' Ml to, and the hearers were greatly taken hold on, and it seemed, they could not go away. Some followed me to my lodging and staid their till midnight. I took my leave of them, . for I intended to sail away the next day, if the wind proved fair, if not I promised them to preach again ; but the wind . being fair, I left the place, leaving many of the people in tears, O that God may bless them with redemption and ; bring the poor mourning souls to Chnst. We went out of the harbour, and the wind being fair, we came in three . hours to Sable river, where I' had intended to stop. 8th. I PREACHED at Sable river, discoursed with the people, bid them farewell, and then travelled about three miles the same evening. 9th. I ENJOYED some happy moments this day while travelling, but my body was almost worn out by the exces- aive cold, and the fatigues of travelling, being obliged to go round the upints and heads of all the bays. 1 1th. T STOPPED at the Ragged Isl^d^, and staid and preached three .or four days. Here I found some engag- ed for the Kingdom, and I was happ^y to spend all the time I was there, labouring with them ; and I enjoyed much of the presence of the Lord while I was there, O I can say I am at home and happy and alt is well, wherever I be, when I enjoy the presence of God^ Never, never can I express the happiness that I have enjoyed even under the greatest fatigues of body.. O my Jesus, thou art all in all. 14th. I WENT in an open boat to Port Roseway, where t staid' and preached until the 17t.h, and then went to Port Latore; I stopped there and preached one day. But O the darkness and hardness of the people,. 19th. I TRAVELLRD in the rain to Barrington, and preached there and discoursed with the people night and, day. There was-a-^reat moving of the Spirit among them, . and many were under very heavy convictions ; but they seem to hang there, and I cannot say, that there were any more than one that was delivered, while I was there. Ma- ny seem near the Kingdom, and are continually labouring in deep distress, But O that unbelief, that destroys its thousands. O that the poor distressed souls might be de-, Mvered ! It is a trial to me to leave them, but I must. Have pity on them» O thou bleeding Lamb ; And let them taste the sweetness of thy name. Lord, raise the dead and cause the blind to aec, . And let the weary souls find re«t i^ thee. Lifts. A3^D JOUUKAL I5i- say be,. Hn I the all. Here ort to I and land, iemj . |hey ny [a- fing its de-, 3l5t. I TR WELDED ill Company wltli two men from die head of that cape round the sea shore as fur as Coch- wit. I think it was the coldest day that ever I travelled in, in my life. I was much fatigued, but dared not stop to rest, but a few Minutes, for fear of freezing. I often had scales of ice on* my face and eyes, for the snow blowed very tliick all the day ; but, blessed be God, we got before night to a little house, wiiere I found the people vastly kind ; and I am sure no earthly palace was ever more agreeable to me, t|>an that was. Neither of us was touched with the frost, and by the next morning I was able to walk again. The two men returned, and the man of the house went with me. The severity of the weather was abated, and I had but a- bout ten miles to walk that day and came to Pubnico, where I preached the same evening, The people seemed to have hearing ears, and the man that came with iiae seemed to be awakened and sensible of his darkness. February 2d. 1 preached early in the morning, when, the society seemed all attention, D^d some in great distress for their souls. I then travelled with twelve or thirteen in company (who followed me to hear the gospel) as far as Strawberry Point, where the people were soon gathered; said I preached there in the evening, and there were soul* that appeared nigh to the Kingdom, and almost all their discourse after sermon was, what shall we do to be saved ? 3d. I PREACHED early in the morning, and then trav- elled with men, women and children in company up to the head of the bay ; where I had the happiness to find some souls born to Christ since I was there,^ who were now ex- ■- horting others to go to Christ. . 7th. I TOOK my leave, of the people, out many left me with a heavy heart, and travelled with six men in company to Chebogue, where was a bitter opposition and many op- posers ; especially the minister, whose religion would very easily suflRgr hlm^to get in a passion, and call me an impu- dent fellow ; which caused me to tell him, that he shewed what kingdom he belonged to by his rage and malice. I preached in Chebogue and Cape Orsue some days, and there appeared an Wakening among mai)y, and some, that had stood off and scoffed, began to hear. Some of them opent ^ their doors for me to preach at their houses. But there were still a number of scoffers, especially at Cape Ors(ue. The Lord forgive them and open their eyes, be- . m m - 'i Hf 152 R£y, HENRY ALLlNlt'S n I '^% i 1 1 fore the day is over, and they eternally gone. I remained' preaching every day and discoursed much (for I had many came to see me) until the 19th, when I bid them farewell, and rode as fiir as some of the ontskirts of the settlement to forward me on my way, and to have the less to walk. There came many t© tlie house where I preached in the evening, and a happy evening it was to me. I had great liberty in addressing thg people in the name of Jesus. 20th. 1' SKT out to go ©n foot with two men in com- pany. Part of the way we could walk pretty free of the woods, and part ef the way we v/ere obliged to keep the woods. And, blessed l)e God, 1 can. say, a great part of the walk was. happy to me.. I once asking a blessing at re- fi-eshing ourselves on the beaeh, had such a sense of the love of God, that my heart was ready to burst ; and the men that were with me, being poor dark souls, knew no- thing of my joy and heavenly food ; so I took my morsel in my hand, and walked on my journey, rejoicing, leaving them to overtake me. G what a peaceful and happy walk 1 had. I thought the very rumbling of the ocean, an'^ ' ing of the surf, spoke for the wisdom of God anc . ,^ ..- ness in a most striking language ; and I could say all was well, and it was a heaven whenever or wherever I enjoyed my God. We travelled 1 8 miles, and then encamped in nn old camp in the woods. The next morning we left our camp and proceeded, but as there wasmuch snow fallen that night, it was more heavy travelling with our snow shoes, but nevertheless we got to Martagon^ a French settlement, be- fore night. The next meming I hired a French lad to go with me and carry my portmanteau as far a» Gi&iboo,. I stopped there a few day^ v ith the English people, and saw some souls groaning under sin and confessing they knew nothing of the new birth, but their cr\' was to be taught, I left them with a heavy heart. However, Christ is there, and there were some christians there, who I hope will be a blessing in the hands of God. I stopped so long there, and at Annapolis bason, that I did not get to Annapolis un- til the first of March. March 1st. When I came there I heard that the work was still continuing. I had the happiness to see and discourse with a young woman, who was ^* wakened in the first of the reformation, who had turned away and joined the appears, but was now returned again^ and, I believe, was LFFE AND JOv'RNAt. t5l 'emainetV lad many farewell, ettlement to walk. ;d in the rtad great esus. n in com- ee of the keep the at part of sing at re- tise of the ; ; and the knew no- i\y morsel ng, leaving lappy walk n, an'' ' ;ay aU was ' I enjoyed icamped in we left our V fallen that V shoes, but kment, be- :h lad to go Gisiboo.. I )le, and saw they knew ; taught. 1 St is there, lope will be long there, inapolis un- rd that the IS to see and cened in the d joined the believe, was ar new bom soul. O how affecting was the language of her humble soul. I rem.uned in Annapolis county about? seven days and found the work of God continuing under the labour of brother Chipman. I was likewise informed by a letter from Cumberland, Uut the Redeemer's kingdom was flourishing there. 8th, 1 WENT tO'Cbrnwallis, staid there but a few days, and then went to Horton, Falmouth and Windsor. Mv friends received irie as almost one from the dead : for the report that I died on Oape Sable shore was so.believed, that two of my christian brothers went through to see how it was, and to get my writings.. I enjoyed happiness with my friends, and happy days until the first of April. April 1st. I Set out again for Annapolis, as the churches liad agreed that I should" go with delegates from the other churches to separate brother Chipman to the work v/hereunto God had called him. I stopped and preach* ed at Horton and Cornwallis, and then we rode to Annapo- lis, stopped and preached to the scattered on the road. And a happy ride we had. 24th. Whe^ the churches were met, and many peo- ple, it seemed almost like the day of Pentecost. Some of the christians were so carried away, that they were almost past speaking. 25th. The churches met again, and a vast concourse o£ people. Brother Pezant preached at 7 in the morning, and then a stage was built in a field, where the delegates, the candidate and myself stood. I preached a sermon, and then dehvered the charge. It was a joyful day to the christians. Then we rose up, not to authorise (as manjr pretend) but to bear witness and bid God speed to one that (iod had authorised and sent forth. There was exhorting of sinners and praising of God all night. 26th. 1 PREACHED again, and then made what speed I coikld to Windsor, expecting an opportunity from thence to. St. John's river, and about the 2'9th 1 left Windsor for St. John's river. Being calm much of the time, it was four days before we got to the river ; but blessed be God, I had many happy hours on board, and got all the people to at- txjnd at prayers, although I do not believe there was a christian among them. But I can say, that when I found- no one that cQVild talk the language of Sion, Jesus was my jojr, strength and qorapanion. O m>; 5QuI, what need J. •' ^' 'V* ■ •!'.■■: 1 1 1. ,1 ■K ' U' I 154 KKV* BENRT ALLINE's When I came to tlie river, the vessel did not go np^ that I was in ; but God gave me speed, for there was an- other vessel just going over the falls to go up the river, so that without the least delay, I crossed Pot-Ash, and went immediately on board, and had the happiness to find the man that was both master and owner, to be a christian, so that I had one to discourse with on the things of the king- dom. O the happy hours I enjoyed in my soul at times,, blessed be God, I felt myself at home by sea or by land>. *ui a wilderness, or any where, when I give my heart to him. O may I speak the goodness of my God, And live to spread Iiis gracious fame abroad. Let me with joy wear out my mortal days, , In tourt'ing sovils to celebrate his praise. I REMAINED on the river, preaching from place to place among the peopte almost every day, and often twice a day until the 26th of May, during which time I had happy days and much of the spirit of God moving upon among the people. Many of his children, who had been long in darkness were delivered, and some sinners were brought to God, and constrained to rejoice publicly in the love of Jesus. O the sweetness of that love ; the great- ness of that joy ; which the soul finds in Ghrist, when brought from the borders of eternal despair. As for my- self, I went through many trying hours in my mind, but, blessed be God,. I was delivered out of them all ; and I find that my own unbelief is the cause of all my trials ; which some will think strange to hear come from a man, who declares he knows the time and place of his conver-^ sion, and had enjoyed so many evidences of God's love or Christ's love since his conversion. But let it be observe cd, that when 1 speak o£ faith, I am still as wide from the opinion of the greatest part of the professors of Christianity, as the east is from the west. For in the first place some have no other faith than what they have from history and tradition. They have so often read, and been taught, that a certain man named Jesus Christ, who professed to be the Son of God, was on earth about seventeen hundred year* ago, who suffered and died for all that would believe in^ hiir.; that they receive this as a true saving belief, and when they have practised sdHfie duties on externals (whith they imagine he has left for their rule tp heaven) and haye m* / •* t go tips ivas ati' river, so lid went find the jtian, so le king- Lt times,, oy land,, heart to N LIFE XKD lOURNAL* 15$ place to en twice le I had ng upon lad becn- ers were ly in the e great- rt, when for my- nd, but, ; and I trials ; a man, conver* )d*3 love observ* from the istianity, ce some ory and rht, that o be the ed years lieve in= nd when kh they haresMB^ ^ucd themselves into a belief, that that man satisfied some- thing in God (which they call his incensed justice) and ful- filled some outward law that was against them, then they imagine that all is well, and say, they have faith in Christ ; when at the same time they know no more of the new birth, and that true faith, which is of the operation of the spirit of God, than Simon the Sorcerer : and living and dy- ing with no better faith than that, they will as finally be lost as God's word is true. O that such people would have pity on themselves"; and while they are here acting for a vast eternity, examine well what they are doing, and what they are building their hopes upon before their dye is cast and their loss irreparable. Unhappy soul, that doth with full sail go on, Feariess till sunk, and his all forever gone. But the faith, yea, and the only faith, which I would attest to as beneficial to the fallen race^ is that which God declares to be the substance of things hoped for. It may be observed, that he doth not say, the shadow or represen- tation of things hoped for, but the substance. And when Christ speaks of true faith, he declares that if a man had a spark as a grain of mustard-seed, it would remove the mountains and raise the dead (or things of the same na- ture.) So that is an infallible truth, that whosoever has but one spark of that true faith in exercise, he would feel the ef- fects of it, in the removing of sin ; the mountains ot sin, which he laboured under ; and in the raising of his dead mind from the state ' of death, to a real knowledge and ac- tivity in a divine hfe. Therefore, let others believe and say what they will of their faith in Christ, and expectation of heaven, without this felt knowledge to the soul, 1 utterly renounce any pretended faith, hope or confidence for the redemption of, or any benefit to the soul, but that. which it by the operation ot the Spirit of God ; which removes my disorders, scatters my darkness and manifests Jesus Christ to my soul at the very time, which gives me a degree of the real enjoyments of heaven ; for Chnst is God, Christ is life. He is salvation, rest, peace and everlasting joy to all his saints : and whenever that word of fal-h is in, it gives me liberty, and causes me to rejoice, bows my will, hum- bles my heart and bears me away above created good, to enjoy and converse with spiritual and eternal things, yea, to converse with God within the vail. And it ought to Ixr .t h!> f' ' , ; m '■ ii t56 REV. KKNRY ALLINE's •observed 1jy all that profess faith in Christ, that in alinosfe all the miracles he wrought, he told them beforehand, how far he could help them ; for he would say ; be it unto thee according to thy faith ; or even as thou wilt. As if he had said, so far as you believe, so far I can help you i and therefore be it unto thee according to thy faith. It ought also to be observed, that the effect of that fuilh was immediate ; the miracle was wrought and f;:lt at the very instant that the faith was acted. They did not say, preach em, and nt before he river, in in the jTi^btred. ,d such a ay in the he body, ioiil felt, Lipon my hinks in ind man- )efore so en went cnt pla- of the God in fort at e from long in i vesseis to go. e were !?^mctime t^olng for want of wind, but had no distressing time at all. 1. O thou my God, at whose command The bellowing oceans rise ; And at the moving of thine hand, " ^ ^ Again the tempest dies. 2. O ht tliine arm of pow'p and love ' My constant helper stand ; , ' ^ . While o'er the wat'ry grave I rove Or tread the desert land. 3. Or if the gapings of the flood *" Should be my wat'ry tomb ; May 1 awake with thee, my God, And find my peaceful home. 4. There, where the storms no more shall beaty Or bellowing oceans roar, ^ ; O let me have my happy seat. Thy goodness to «dore. 6th. We came to Cumberland, where I found somfe •christians alive to God ; but some had got into darkness by disputing about principles. I preached every day and en* joyed much liberty ; and the Lord blessed my labours both ^o christians and sinners. After I had been in Cumberland about a fortnight, I went to Shepody and Petitcodiac. I preached often there, and conversed much with the people-, and they seemed to have an hearing ear, but no one at that time got any deliverance, but the christians were something enlivened. When I had been up the river, and had preached in almost every village, I returned down the river with twelve men in company. We came to a village of Dutch people about twelve at night, where I intended to stop and preach. The next day 1 preached two sermons and the people gave attention, but -were so chained down to the form of religion or godliness without the power, and wer» so strict in their forms, that it was almost impossible to convince them that they were no christians ; or that they needed any thing else* But there was a young fnan a- mong them, who was brought lo the knowledge of Christ, and enjoyed great liberty in hrs mind, who laboured very much with this people, but they looked on him as one un- vder a delusion . because he told them, that their being baptiz- ed and goin^ to the Lord's supper, with all the other forms they practised, would not save them, and that they would ibe as certainly lost as if they had never practised any of 5them ; telling them, that they must know what it was to O 1^ . K 151. REV. HEMRT ALLXNE's be born again and feel it in their own souls, exclusive of aM their externals. O the blindness of the poor wretched race of Adam, while in an unrepjenerate state. Have pitv on them, O my God, Convert them by lliy blessed word : O may they live to know thy grace, And join thy glorious name to praise. 1 RETURNED again to Sackfield, in Cumberland, and preached there, and the spirit of God was among the people with power. 23d. 1 PREACHED atGreenliill to a great numberof peo- ple, and in the afternoon 1 preached in a field near the fort in hopes that it might draw some of the soldiers, and there were many that attended and some seemed to give great attention, but before sennon was over the officers com- manded them into tiie fort ; and thus it is with many, thty will not enter the kingdom themselves, nor sufler those that are entering in, to enter. 26th. In answer to a request sent me, I met a ntmibcr ofbigotted presbytcrians and mountain mm to reason on points of doctrine and principles we differed in : a vast con- course of peoi>le attended to hear. The presbytcrians and mountain men chose three men to speak ; which I consent- ed to on this condition that they -should speak but one at a time : we discoursed on some points, which I w as desirous to do for the sifke of opening the eyes of many of the spectators ; but when they found themselves confuted, they would not acknowledge it, but gii^w warm, and not only two or three of their speakers spoke at once, but also some of their society, and they began to cast reproaches and r«- flections ; 1 told tliem, they had not only not kept their word, but also discovered by their spirit what kingdom they be^ longed to. Their passion grew so high, that they broke through the croud one at a time and went away. After which I preached a sermon to the auditory ; who by the discourse and the spirit these people discovered, were many of them convinced that the people called n^w^ llg.hts were rii>jit, and that they discovered most of the spirit of the gos- pel. Indeed I believe, if there were none that disputed a- bout the name and the doctrine of Christ, but tliosc that had the spirit of Christ, we should not hear one dispute, where now we hear ten. I remained in Cumberland, preaching to and visifing the people until July 6th. Aj?d was often obliged to preach in tl>.e ^Ws on account of the ^reat concourse ol the people : W^jJ LtrZ AVD JOURWA'ti 159 many happy hours I enjoyed in proclaiming the name of Jcsas. O the life and sweetness of that j«;ospel, when the soul is m.ide a partaker of it, and feels it to be the wisdom and power of God. I often tiiink what a hard task it must be to the poor readers and iiirelings, who know nothing ok* this spirit and love to reward and cheer them in their ia-^ hours ; and let them pretend to have ever so much religion and love for God and for souls ; their love and likewise their reward is in their salary, and wordly prospects : nor can an unconverted preacher be excited by any higher motive. 7ch. I uoDE with a number of friends to the Bay Vest, intending to go from thence to the island of St. John's, I preached there the same day, and my company returned to Cumberland. It seemed something hard parting, but wc had tliis to comfort us, that we should meet again where parting hours will for ever cease. 9th. I WKM r on board a schooner for the island of S*. John's, and we had a quick i)assage. 1 found there very dark people, and indeed, most of them openly profane. I preach- ed four or five times in the principal towns, where some seemed to begin to be fond of hwaring these strange things, and others opposed and blasphemed. One evening, when at prayer among a number of people,! heard a cursing and blaspheming in the room, when I expected soon to be struck by them, but God gave me strength to continue praying without even looking to see who or what it was ; but I heard them go out. After meeting I asked the peo- ple who the disturbers were ; they told me it was an oflker who came in and drove out some soldiers which were there; who began to be something thoughtful, and as he drove them out, he damn'd thtm, and swore by God, that that fellow (meaning me) would lead them all to hell and dam- nation. After I had pi^eached in the town a few days, I went back into the country, and at a place called St. Peter's, I found two christians, and I had found one in the town. These three were the only ones I found on the island. At this place the people had some light, and gave great atten- tion to the gospel, and the Spiritof God awakened some poor sinners to a sense of their danger, and to begin to inquire after Christ. I trust the gospel was not sent there in vain. O that those awakened souls might not rest until they found Jesus Christ their resting place. I returned again to the town, and there I preached again four or five times ; and that one christian, whom I spcke of b<;fore> was much re« M 1 fu T Hi Id9' I : REV. HINRY ALLINf/s ill f 1 'An V vived, and rejoiced greatly, that ever the gospa] was sciU upon that dark, iblaiid. 23d. About eight in the morning, I left the island in a. large two-mast boat, which 1 had hired to carry me to the main. We sailed all day and most of the night,and got to land a little before break of day, and in a few hours, we got to a place called Picto, where 1 had no thoughts of making any stay, but finding tlie Spirit of God to attend my preaching, I stayed tl.ere thirteen days, and preached in all the different parts of the settlement. 1 found four christians in this place, who were greatly revived, and rejoiced that the gospel was sent among them^ A great number of poor sinners were so awakened, that they crowded night and day to hear the gospel. Indeed it was hard leaving them, when fio distressed and desirous to hear ; but such were my press- ing obligations to other places, that I dare stay no longer. August 5th. in the morning I took my leave of the people, and set out with a young man, who had been with me about two months, to go through the woods to Cobc- quid ; but not being able to get through, we were obhged to lodge in the woods on the ground, with no other shelter but the trees, and the., ethereal cuuopy ^ but God was with. U5> and all was welL O the great goodness of the Lord to me ! His hand supports me o'er the boist'rous sea : *■ ', Or ifi'm c.ill'd to cross t]»c desert lund, lin still protected t} his present hand. ~ ■ O Jcsiis, melt my lieart witii love divine, And lot my days, my life and soul be thine. 6th. In the morning about eight of the clock we tame in to the settlements, and travelled down through the coun- try. There were two poor dark ministers there, who in- formed the people, that there was a strange impostor from the countries up the bay, who they heard was coming a- mong them ; who was neither college learned, nor authoriz- ed by the presbytery. He was anpw light, he ^\as a separ- atist, and one that broke up their churches. The poor dark people (most of them) conceived such an opinion of me, that they would gaze at me, as I passed their doors, with as much strangeness, as if I was one the antediluvians ; and when 1 came down to the public house I was even re- fused a bed or a room for any money. I sent then the young man that was with me, to another public house, and when they heard my name, they likewise refused to tak«- me in. The young man returned, and found me walking was sent left the d to carry night, and ew hours, oughts of attend my :hed in all christians ;d that the r of pooF lit and day lem, when my press- longer, ve of the been with to Cobc- t obhged ler shelter i was witk LIFS AND JOURNAL. t6r we came he coun- who in- stor from oming a- authoriz- a separ- :)oor dark of me, orsj with luvians ; even re- hen the )use, and to take- walking \ in the street, and told me, that he believed I must lie in the street all night ; I replied I could do it without reluctance for the name of Christ. At length there was a poor old man, who said he would willingly receive me, if he had a bed fit for me to sleep^ in, but did not like to receive me, because he was so poor, but he directed the young man where to find a house, he believed i might get entertainment in ; but when he went there, the man at first refused, saying he had heard of me, and did not like to receive me, or any sucli man as I was, into his house : yet after some discourse (when the young man told him that it was hard, that a man could not get a lodging for any money, where they called themselves christians) the man said he would let me have a room and a bed, and sent for me to come. When I came there, he led me through the house to my room, and the people looked on me as if I had some distemper, that was catching. However they soon began to shew more free- dom, and some of them hearing me sing, knocked at the door, and asked me if they might come in and hear mc sing; I replied yes, if they thought it was safe for them. For their conceptions had been, that there was danger of being caught with that spiritj that I went about with. But the people began to be free, and the man of the house called me out, and desired me to pmy in his family, and numbers^ of people came in^ However my design was to deliver my message as far as I was able, if it was in the street (if there was no door opened) before 1 1 t the place. But the third day I was there I was desired by a poor man to preach at his house. I appointed to preach there at four o'clock in the afternoon. The minister of that part of the country, hearing thereof, wrote me a note, demanding to meet hint and his elders at such a tavern at four o'clock, to give them a!i account, what right I had to appear in the capacity of a preacher of the gospel. I wrote him an answer, informing him, that although I should be glad to meet him and his elders, yet was suiprised, that he should make such a de- mand ; as for the hour he had appointed, 1 could not meet him at that time, for I had promised to appear there in pub- - lie. At four 1 preached and a great number of people at- tended, so that the house could not contain them. After I had preached I received a second note from the minister, desiring me to meet him that evening. I returned him for ^ answer, that I was then in company, neither was it thtn^ 02 *'. i42 REV. HENRT ALLINL S a- proper time ; but if he would be at the place, he had appoint- ed, the next morning at nine o'clock, that I would meet him then there. T met them accordingly, and a number of the people. I told them I was then ready to answer any ques- tions they should, ask me, either the minister, elders or deacons ; and that I should expect to have the same liberty allowed me, to ask them some questions : for since I was sent for and knew the strange conceptions many had, and how many were kept in darkness, I was determined, if God. gave me strength, to discover where the darkness was, and if it was in me. We then began, and continued for about three hours *, on the call aud qualifications of a minister ; the door into the ministry ;. the power of ordination •: and original sin. At which some of them got so fettered with their own darkness, that they left the room. The minister likewise got up and broke off from tha discourse. But the eyes of the people began to be opened, for after it was donq, the man with whom I boarded, being present, declared they were satisfied, and that now they saw and were astonished at what prejudice and false reports had done- And from that hour I had more houses open to me than I could supply. Thus the enemies of Christ, by theii' endeavouring to shut the door against the gospel, were the means of opening it. I PREACHED three or four days in Truro, and then crossed the river to Onslow where I preached. 1 not only preached often, but discoursed also with the people, whO' often filled my room, and staid until twelve at night, impa- tient to hear the name of Jesus, and what they mu st do to be saved. One man, who was before a member of one of those churches, was convinced and converted : but there ■were yet many of the pharisees opposing the work, and la- Jt)ouring to turn away the people from the faitli. 20th, I SET out with some company to leave that part and proceed down the bay, but was obstructed by a sudden turn of illness, which seized me in a moment, and they laid me on a bed, so I was detained that week by my illness. But, blessed be God, I recovered strength, so that I was a- ble to preach on Satuwlay and likewise on the Sabbath day ; when the house was filled with people from eleven in the moring until twelve at night, and there were but a few that were not under some movings of the Spirit. O the infinite goodness of my God and master to the sons of men, and t© nie his poor unworthy servant. He is my Uiider and my itrength j my joy and my resting pl^e. L7F£ AJCD JOfRNAL. 163 i appoint* neet him er of the Jiy ques- ilders or le hberty ce I was had, and Id, if God. was, and or about ninister ; ion .; and red with minister But the ^^as dono, ired they nished at from that i supply. ^ to shut ning it. and then not only •pie, whO' It, impa- 1 St do to fone of It there and la- hat part sudden hey laid: illness, was a- ith day ; in the ew that infinite , and t0 nd mjfi Where'er I rovA, while here below , * My Christ is all the joy 1 know. Mvj leads me, when thru' glooms I tread, And whea discourug'd lifts my head. O let me stilV his love proclaim, While I with mortals bear a name. 27th. I RODE with sjvoji or eight in company td a* 9-m.dl village where I preached. Alter which the minister of Londonderry (wlio had rod^ twenty miles, to get the diors shut against ni^i, but cam;i too late) began immediate- ly, being in a great rwige, to rail at me ; which caused all tiie people, bcia^ surprised, to stop, and not leave their places. I told him h;; was like the man, who was among tiie tom^is, cutting hinvself ; for that spirit he was of would torment him ; and that 1 shoLild not enter iiito one argu- ment with him, until that spirit was chained or cast out. I likewise told him, that his own spirit and conduct discover- ed what kingdom he was of and belonged to, I then said no- more, the p;iople likewise were all silent, but the minib- ter continued his rage and throwing reflections, until he found that I would not answer him, and then he sat still, and endeavoured to lay a restraint upon himself. At length, speaking something more mildly, he told me, he did not like my principles. I asked, him to point out any of them in particular, and I would discourse with him about it. Then one error he pointed out, was original sin j as I held it, that all mankind were really guilty in Adam, and there- fore the word imputation never need to be used in that mat- ter ; for how could that be imputed to a man, which he was guilty of himselL But he held that God was making souls now in these days, and made a soul for every body, when the body was once conceived in the womb, and after he makes the soul and sends them into the bodies, he imputes Adam's guilt to them. And thus he declared that thousands and thousands of souls that were made pure and innocent, were under eternal condemnation for a sin which was com- mitted thousands of years before they had any being. How- ever, I was enabled to discover the inconsistency of such a principle before his people, and many were convinced. The next point we discoursed on v/as election. Hf. declared that God fore -ordained whatsoever comes to pas&, which I soon proved to be impossible ; for God could neither be the autlior of sin nor decree a thing against his own nature The third point we discoursed on was God*s incarnation. And when he declared his sentimentj it was strange even , i'i 16* REV. HENRY ALLINE'S ;i I.; ■ to his own people anr\ church, that were present : and that v/as that God made Christ, And when I did insist that he should give out his own sentiments, or else he had no right to oppose others, I asked him what God made Christ of: he said, that his body was made of the elements (which I did not oppose) but that his soul was made out of nothing. Out of nothing, I replied, why then he may return to no- thiug. Besides, if that be the case, then he is but a crea- ture, which once was nothing, and is this the Christ you worsliip, and expect to worship forever ? I then told him the Saviour I worshipped was the eternal Son of God, and that God had declared that the Word was God, and that the- Word was made flesh, and that that very infant that was born, was declared to be the everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace, and therefore he was not a created man, but God manifest in the flesh. And then 1 told him that I believed his people never knew before now, that their mipister be- lieved tiiat Christ was made out of nothing ; and that I was glad, he had discovered himself. He then rose up in a pas- sion ?,nd left the house,. The people staid and heard it all, and many began to get their eyes opened to see where the darkness was ; and entreated me to visit them again, if pos- sible. After this t rode down to the lower settlements, and preached amongthem* I.then went in a boat to Partridge Island, where I found a schooner, and went in her to Horton. September l«t. I came to Horton and preached three sermons the same day. The next morning I preach- ed again at'sun-nse ; and a blessed morning it was to many. Some, who had been long in bondage, were delivered . .O J,csu9; give me strength divine, To spread this lovely name of thine. While mortal life remains ; Then shall I make thy name my song-j ^ v Amongst the blest immortal throng, ' In heav'n's exalted strains. Sd. I RODE to Falmouth, found my friends well, and enjoyed happy days with them in the love of Jesus. I went also to Windsor and Newport ; preached often in both places, conversed much with the people there, and fourd some still pressing on for the immortal prize. And after I had been there c^ while, I went to Horton and Corn- wallis, where I, often preached eai-ly in the morning, and was rejoiced to see how the people would crowd to meeting so soon and so early in the morning. O the sweet hours that. 1 have enjoyed, proclaiming my master's love to th* LITE AND JOVRNAI:. ICS fcimgry souls. I remained in Cornwallis, preaching tv^icci and sometimes three times a day, until the lust day of Sep« tcmber ; when 1 went to Annapolis, where I preached of- ten and saw blessed days. Many of the people of God seemed to live much of their time on the Mount. O the happiness of living near the Lord Jesus Christ ! After I had met the church, and pueached through all the county of Annapohs, 1 set out in company with brother Chipman, a servant of Christ, to go to Cape Orsue. We stopped and preached at Annapolis bason, and likewise at St. Mary*B b-iy, where I found some souls converted, since I was there last. We then rode on our way, were obliged to lay one night in the woods, where it rained all night. When we came to the settlements, we preached every day, and saw a >vork of God among the people there. Some brought out from deep distriisa, to joys unspeakable and full of glory. the glorious and joyful light to see souls come out of midnight darkness rejoicing in God, and shouting forth the \vonders of his love. October 13. Brother Thomas Handley Chipman parted from me, and took passage for the river St. John*s,as we had designed the first opportunity presenting.. I re^ mained ♦lu'ee or four days preaching in those parts; and then went to Argyle ; where the people v/ere so engaged, that almost all in the place both old and young attended night and day ; and the Spirit of the Lord wrought with such power, that many were constrained to cry out in the mcieting ; some with joy, and others in the deepest dis- tress of soul. I preached there early and late ; until about the 2Jd. I preached in the evening, after which about IQ o'clock at night, 1 went on board a large boat to go dowa to Harrington. God favoured and forwarded me with wind and weather, antl we got to Cape-Island before day- break. I preached every day in difi'erent parts of Bar- rington, and there *>4)peared much moving among sinnera> and inquiring after Christ, but none evidently dehvered. As fpr my own travels, they were changeable. Some- times I was rejoicing in the Lord, and strong in his Spirit ; but at other times I was under great trials of mind, and many times remarkably delivered from my bondage. 'Tis unbelief that keeps me down so low, 1 And is the cause of all my grief and woe. When I believe, I feel all trials move ; , Tken I can triiiniph t»» my maitcr's luvG. V' WG6 *u RET. HENRY ALLINK'S m 't'^'if AfTER I had preached awhile in Barringlort, I wferit^ through tlie woods with six men in company to the upper Cape Negro ; where I preached two or three days, found the people attentive, and found one christian among them ; then 1 went through with some company to Port Rosaway, wliere I likewise found some movings of the Spirit of God ; but the poor souls lingered, and none appeared to give up all to Christ.' O that the;, may not linger, until their day is over. Have mercy on them, O my God, and shak« them off from all their hopes, and bring them to give up all to thee. O Jesus, send by me thy lore, To bring poor souls to thee ; Let mourners feel their (^ lilt remove. And taste thy grace wiih me. " I THEN went to the Ragged Islands, where I hope some have been brought to taste the love of Jlsus. There 1 preached and enjoyed happy days.- All their discourse while 1 staid there was about Jesus and his love. When 1 left that place, I went with four or five in company, who Were thirsting after th© gospei.- The people at Sable Ri^ Ter gave attention, but in general it is a very dark people. I believe there were some ot them awakened, and 1 hope will not rest till they have the Lord Jesus Christ. November 20th. I went to Liverpool in an open boat; the wind was fair, but being considerably high, we had like to have filled in the midst of the breakers at some distance from the land. Both the irons of the rudder broke, and the rudder was gone in a moment, but the hand of God was with us, and the boat did not turn till we got out an oar, and then continued to run before it till we had reached the harbour. Lord, may such favours-of thine hand, Awake my heart to love, *' And lead me still 0*er sea or land, ^' While thro* this world I rove. When I came to Liverpool, I had the happiness to meet' a number of my friends on the wharf, who informed me of the glorious work of God, that had appeared ever since I left them, and was stilf going on in the place. The minister, whom they had tried often to get removed en account of his hard drinking, was so enraged against hi» people for their holding up separate meetings, that he dt- sired a dismission, rather expecting that it would be the means of their returning to him, ' and that when the trial came they would not dismiss him. But the people em- braced the opportunity, and gave him his disnussion j i MTE AK?) JOURNAL. 16T which seemed to open the way still more for the work of God, as he wusa great opposer. Almost all the town assembled togethrr, and some that were lively christians prayed and exhorted, and God was there with a truth. I preached every day, and sometimes twice a day ; and the houses where I went were crowded almost all the time. Many were brought out t)f darkness and rejoiced, and ex- horted in public. And O how aifecting it was to see some young people not only exhort their companions, but also take their parents by the hand, and entreat them for their soul's sake to rest no longer in their sins, but fly to Jesus .Christ while there was hope. One young lad (who turned out to be a very bright christian) I saw, after sermon, take • his father by the hand, and cry out, O father, you have been a great sinner, and now are an old man : an old sin- ner, with grey hairs upon your head, going right down to destruction. O turn, turn, dear father, return and fly to Jesus Christ : with jnany other such like expressions and entreaties, enough to melt a stony heart. The work of God continued with uncommon power through almost all the place. But the small number that did not fall in with the work were raging and scoffing, and some blaspheming. A man, who «at one evening near under the pulpit, looked up, as I was delivering the truths of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, and cried out, that is damned foolishness. I looked upon him, and charged him to cease, and likewise to remember wh?t his doorn would be, that dares to blas- pheme the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ ; and he wa« awed to silence, and said no more. O that he and othef such might yet return before their day is over, and they . eternally ^one 1 December 2d. I took a passage to Petit-Riviere, where I preached every day, but none came out in the lib- • erty of Christ'r. children, though many seemed to be awak- ened. I then went witli five or six in company to Male- gash, where I preached the short time I staid there. But O the darkness of that people 1 Almost all of them are set- tled on a form of religion, but are strangers and enemies to > the power of it. There were however some awakener $ and began to enquire after Christ ; the others raged, and opposed publicly. I returned and stopped again at Petit- , Riviere, and then went to Pott Midway, where I found' «ome souls awakened, p.nd ca^'iiestly inquiring what tliey shall do to be saved. () Lord J-'oiiti Christ, deliver them by V Its »EV. HENRY ALLWTE'S I ' t;H Mi thy Spirit, and give the poor unhappy souls rest. But &h thou art willing, and it is their own wills and unbelief that keep them in the dark, and bar them all *'rom thy love, those fatal bars of unbelief . I What crowds are eternally ruined thereby. For because of unbelief, they could not enter in. December 24th. I came again to Liverpool, wher« I found the people still vastly engaged in religion, and pres- sing into the kingdom : and almost all their discourse was about the wretched state of man, and the glorious recovery by Jesus Christ ; and many rejoiced, as it were, in a new world ; and I would hear exhoi'tations after every sermon, inviting others to taste, and see that God was gracious. January 1st, 1783. Iwetjt on board of a schooner, to go to Halifax, promising to i-eturn again, if God per- mitted. When I came there, I preached in different parts of the town, and have reason to believe, that there were two or three souls that received the Lord Jesus Christ. But the people in genei'al are almost as dark and as vile as in Sodom. Lstaid tliere about ten days, and returned again to Liverpool, where I still found the waters troubled, and souls stepping in.» O the happy days which I there enjoyed, not only in my own soul, but to see the kingdom of God flourishing. When I went to preach at the meet- '4ng-house, at the hour appointed, the people were crowding to hear ; and when the sermon was over, I was obliged to stop many hours in the broad-alley, to discourse with the people ; for it seemed as if they could not go away. While 1 was there this last time, the christians gatheied together in fellowship, by -telling their experierecs and gettirg fel- lowship one for another ; and so joined in a body, separat- ing themselves from the world, February I7th. I left Liverpool, stopped and preach- ed at Port Midway, Petit-Riviere, Lehave and Malegash. 1. O God,. may I directed be, . ' '' While here, to follow none but ibee. ^ Be this iry tbeire, where'er I rove, To tell the world of Jesus love. 2. Then when this mortal life shall cease, , I shall awake in realms of peace ; Where I with my dear God shall be ; ' ' u * And give the glory, Lord, to thee. \\ ■ 27tli. I SAILED from Malegash to Halifax, where 1 staid and preached until the 13th day of March, and thc« J. set out for the country, where I found my friends well. LIFE AND JOURNAL. 16§ sf that rnully Id not iher« I 1 prts- se was c every a new ermcn, us. ooner, d per- il parts 2 were Christ. vile as jturned iubled, theye jgdom meet- (vding )bliged ;iihtbc While W ther W% fel- [parat- reach- Igash. ere th«a well, and the christians growing in strength and ahve to God. O the liappy hours which 1 enjoyed there, when Jesus was among us of u truth. I went and preached in the dificrent towns until March 26th. Being then at Windsor, I was takerk so ill, that my life was despaired of ; but blessed be God, I was so blessed with divine strength, that I was enabled to triumpli over deatli and the grave. And by April 1st, I was so far recovered, that I rode as far as Horton, after which the illness of my body increased. But O the happy hours which I enjoy tid, even when my life was almost exhausted. Jesus was my joy, my life, my strength, my all. O what shall I or can 1 say of such great and most infinite goodness ol tlie Lord. In Christ I triumph over death and hell ; In death I lire ; in sickness I am well. I REMAINED apparently on the confines of the grave, and it was thought by almost every one, that I should scon quit this mortal stage. But as for my own mind ; under the greatest symptoms of death, I still retained a hope that I should yet go out again in the name of Jesus to poor perishing sinners ; which was all I desired health for. Yea, and oftentimes when I was triumphing over death and the grave, my soul was in a divine rajnure, with no more doubt, that if I departed, I sho'uld awake in glory, than I doubted that there was a state of glory : yet so great was my thirst to spread the kingdom of Christ, and l)e the means of bnnging precious and immortal souls to him, that I longed far more to return, even if 1 went "through ever so many difficulties and troubles, than to de- part and go. O how 1 thirsted for a lew more days to go ^ut with Jesus with me, to bring poor starving souls to the courts of his grace, that they might for ever sha'e v/ith "me in the wonders of his love. After I had been iu Hor- ton a while, I seemed to regain a, little strength, when niy ' friends urged me to ride to Falmouth, winch I did, and still remained very ill in the body, but had happy days ia my mind. I spoke every Sabbath a few words in public, which were greatly blessed. I had christian company all the time, and the na*me of Jesus was all our theme : and indeed we enjoyed happy days. Almost every day I re- covered strength again of body so astoridc to?Iorton, where I preached, and the people attended in great numbers, V li ft' hi ■ 170 KSY. HEVRY ALLIN£*S But my disorder was flattering and changeable. I was very ill agaiH) so that many of my friends gave me over for death. However I was continued through the goodness of God, and I never lost my senses in all my sickness, j rode to Falmouth again with company to help me. I re- mained very ill, and sometimes in the greatest racks and anguish of body, that could be endured, but I think I can say, God gave me so much strength to endure it, that I was never heard to groan under all my pain. And indeed I look on it not only a sin, to give away to groaning and re- pining under trials, sickness or pains, but it has a tenden- cy likewise to increase the trials and augment the dis- eases : when on the contrary 1 firmly believe, that if the christians endeavour to throw their sickness and pain out of their minds, and to keep their minds soaring above, fix- ed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and contemplating divine truths, and the state of their souls, it would not only enable them in a great measure to triumph over the fear of death and the grave, but in some degree repulse the rage of the disorder. Yea, and when enjoying a present Christ, it even lifts them up above the sense of their pains; Besides, I have this to say, that if any one enjoys the love and the life ot God in their souls (while sick in body) they can'^ot find heart, time or cause to groan under, or ponder on their bodily distempers and pains. And 1 am sure, if they do not feel and enjoy the life and the love of God in their souls in such trying hours, they have really a thousand times more reason to ponder on, and groan under the miserable state of their souls, than the pain and disorder of the body : ior the soul, which is the essential part of the man, stands in far the greatest need of help. 1 remained in Falmouth with my friends, and was very happy to find the christians so much alive too as they were. And as for my own part, blessed be God, I never enjoyed so great a sense of divine things, and the presence and love of God, for the length of time, since I knew the Lord, as when I was sick. Surely I can say that Jesus was my all, and my life in the midst of death. He was to me as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. Often did he cause me not only to triumph o- ver death and the grave ; but to forget my pains, and to lose the sense of my sickness. Thefullo'iaivg are ajeiv lines, that lurote one morning at that time. ALL IS WELL WITH THE CHRISTIAN. L Ye Pilgrims, bound to perfect bliss, Your Saviour's goodnes» teU : ,/ as very i^er for ness of ess. I I re- :k8 and k I can It I was deed I md re- tenden- he dis- L if the lain out »ve, fix- j divine r enable af death ; of the , it even asides, I the life '^.ot find on their they do iir souls »d times liserable le body : stands al mouth iristians wn part, divine :ngth of Surely midst of )ck in a amph o- d to lose bat time. LIFE AND JOURNAL. 171 I ,/ If he Is yours, and you are his, Rejoice, for all is well. 2. You've found the only stream of joy, Wliere solid pleasures dwell : Tho' hell may rage, and earth aanoy, Christ lives and all is well. 3. When foes invade, you mount above ^ To joys unspeakable, , . Your trials swcet'iwd al! with love, / Then surely all i» well. • 4. Sinners may lose their greatest joy, And find their Dagon fell : But nothing can your lives destroy ; Then sing, for all is well. 5. Christ is your joy, your life and peacc^ There all your treasures *lwell. « Let ev'ry other helper cea&e. He lives, and all is well. 6. Mount, my triumphant soul, abov* This cold, this gloomy celt. Long as I feel immortal love, I must say, all is well. 7. I'd ever live, where Jcsui reigns. And never more rebel : '^ And soon on heaven's immortal plaint, I'll shout, ah all is well. I STILL seemed to regain some strength, but very slowly, and as I bad promised, and was determined to go to New-Englsmd this summer (if God pleased) I thought, as low as I was, I would attempt it. And when some of mv fi'iends told me, that I was very imprudent to undertake such fatigue* in my very low state of health, and that they imagined I was in a consumption, I told them, that if I knew that to be my case, it would urge me the more on, for I never desired, nor intended;, if God gave me strength, to yield up to sickness, or the bed, as long as I could possi- bly help it, and therefore, as I had preached almost all over this country, if I was in a consumption, I would go and proclaim my Master'^s name, where I never had preached, as long as I could riJe or stand, if it was even to the last expiring breath. Which determination I still feel, if God be with me, and give me strength. Accordingly on the 27th of August I left Windsor to go to New-England. It was something hard parting with vast numbers of my friends, who gave way too much to nature : but some did so triumph over the flesh and self, that they bid me go in the name of the Lord, telling pie that souls were as precious in one place as another. W3 REV. HEKRY ALL1HI.'». iM 1/ I My af^ed parents, who set too much by mc, and I often loiind it hard for one to leave them, when I was well, were alive to (iod, and engaged for the good of souls, that they seemed to get above llie affections and weakness of nutuiT, ami tcld nie, that although my heultli was so very low, yet they never parted with me so easily before, and ulthougli I was so lov, tliey had faith to believe, that 1 should be yet a blessing to some souls, before my departure out of the bo- dy, saying that if I went and wore out my days in the eause of Christ, and was the means of bringing any poor souls into his kingdom all was well ; if they never should see my face more in time. It gave me great satisfaction to see them so strong in the Lord, as to overcome the affections 'of nature, and that far U .ter love and affections reigned in their place, the heavenly and divine love in Christ, who had made us one in the bands of everlasting love in such a man- ner, that distance of body, nor death itself can ever separate.. Go with me. Lord, where thou wouldst have me go, And give me strength tJie gospel trump to blow. Bring home poor dinners, O my God, by me. To sound thy fame, and ever reign with thee. August 27th. I left Windsor. The vessel sprurg- her mast, so that we were obliged to put into St. John's i i- ver for a new one. I preached once while I was there ; but U was hard preaching to such hardened, careless hearers. September 7thc We left Fort Howe on St. John's river ; but the \ 'nd not being fair, the voyage was tedious for me, who was very low in body still.. But God's provi- dence was such, that a head wind caused us to go into Jones*- river ; when I told the captain, that I would leave the vessel, buy a horse and get along by land ; which turned out very ■well, for I found a far larger country than I expected so far east. I staid and preached a few days in Bristol among a vt ry dark people ; but some were awakened under the gos- pel, and began to inquire after Jesus Christ. 1 5th. I WENT with three men, that bore me company, to Booth -bay, where I staid andpreac\'?d about a week. I likewise found the gospel to take hold of some, and some that were awakened at Bristol, came over to every sermoa that I preached in Booth-bay : and even some women with children in their arms travelled on foot. So great was their desire to hear.. 22d. I RODE about four miles wHh \v dliam Mecola, Esq. (with whom I had boarded) wheie I stopped at one Colonel Emerson's, and preached there, the ne:.t day tQ.,» f LIFE AND JOURNAL. n: '. often 1, were vt they nuturc, w, yet oui;!^ I c yet a the bo- e tause r souls see my to see 'cctions |:!;ncd in ho had a nian- :parate.. go,. sprur g- hn's 1 i- re; but irers. John's edious provi- Jones*- vessel, ut very d so far Tiong a le gos- mpany, ek. I some ermoa n with s their VIecolj, at one y ta.» " p-eat number of people. They seemed muc^ alarmed by the gospel, and some so awakened, that I trust they will never rest, until they have foimd Christ. O that they might once be brought to an union with Christ, without which there is no safety or happiness. 24th. I RODE with Col. Emerson, who accompanied me up the river, intending to goto the ferry at Sheep's (iut that night. But when I came to sec so many inhabitants on Amesscotty, I told him that my mind was not easy, to go by them ; L therefore stopped and preached on both sides of the river, and trust it was not in vain ; for some christians were greatly revived, and some sinners much a- wakened. O that they might never rest until they find the true rest. Lord Jesus, have mercy on their poor burdened souls, that are wandering in a wilderness and know thee not. 29th. I RODE over* to the other river, and the next day I preached there, and, blessed be God, I trust, it was not in vain : and seeing the people so engaged, made me stay longer and preach again , when I still saw some more mov- ings amongst the people ; though many were very much hardened. I endured vast pains and anguish of body al- most every day, and was many times scarcely able to preach ; but I endiwed it without much complaining, for I enjoyed health of soul, and was very happy at times in the Lord Jesus Christ. But as I had just got into that part of the vineyard, and saw the fields as it were white unto the harvest, 1 had intended (if Providence permitted) to blow the gospel trumpet through that vast country, and I could not bear the thoughts of leaving the world ; although I was happy and had not the least doubt of ray salvation : for I longed more than tongue can express, to be the means of bringing some of those poor souls to the Lord Jesus Christ. October 5th. I preached at Sheep's Gut, and saw much moving of the Spirit of God. Indeed some were in such distress, they could hardly contain themselves. O that God might bring them to himself? Monday morning-the Selectmen of the town sent me a request for to stay longer ; but I could not find it my du- ty, being under pressing obligations to visit other parts, that stood in as great a need, and yet it was hard :o leave the poor awakened sinners. Monday I went to an island called Squam, where tiiere had been a work of God; and I found some lately P2 174 HtY. HENRY ALLINR*S l(:!| if 'II I . born to Christ. But O how common it is in a time of re- vival, for many to be deceived, fend to take up with some- thing short of Christ. I remained in Squam until Satur- day, and then rode to Woolwich, where I preached on the Sabbath, and saw much of the power of God. But O how apt are young chnstians to be led astray, being so fond of every thing that appears like the power of God, that they receive almost any thing that has a zeal, not considering, that when God is at work, that then is the time for the de- vil to covmterfeit. I heard men exhori, that had nothing of the Spirit of Christ, but many of the christians thought them certainly right, because they Seemed to have a great zeal. I love to see preachers zealous, yea, and I believe, if they have the spirit of God, which brings meekness, love and humility with the zeal, and solemnizes the person speaking, it will not be all ovei" as soon as they have done speaking in public, but will go Wxth them : when those who have nothing but a spirit of self, and a false zeal, will appear to speak light and airy, and lifted up, and v/hen hav- ing been in a great zeal^ it will be soon over, and have no solemnizing sense abiding, but grow careless and light, and easily and soon lead,, or be led into vanity and sin. Monday, I rode about three miles, and then preached to a small number that were living christians ; though there were sinners among them, yet it was easy preach" ing and a happy day it was to many. October 16th. I preached at Bath, and the next day rode over to Brunswick, where I staid three days, and found son\e sincere christians, but not much moving among sinners. O the wretched state of careless sinners ! My heart aches for them, and fain would be a means of help- ing them ; but what shall I say, or what can be done for tliem? The spirit of God' doth labour with them, and be- seeches them, and if they reject that, what^ O what can ^ help them ? 21st. I RODE down to Harrislcket, where the people were almost all in a deep sleep with hardly a form of reli- gion. 1 was so ill, when I first got there, that I was scarce- ly able to ride ; but I appointed a lecture, and when I came to sp.ak, God gave me strength, and the people great attention. The Sabbath following, I saw so much of a moving among the people, that I was greatly encourage^, and concluded to stay another week : I preached lectures on the week-days, and had the happiness to see some cf- i r t I LIFE AND JOUnNAf.. < 5 of re- some- Satur- )n the 3 how bnd of t they lering, he de- lothin^ loii^ht great ieve, if >s, love person ^e done 1 those al, will m hav- lave no ^ht, and 'cached though :^reach" le next lys, and among i ! My f help- one for ind be- lat can, people :)f reli- scarce- I came e great h of IK iragea, xtures ne ef- I I I fects of the gospel. There were two that I believed re- ceived Christ, and could tell of his love ; and others were groaning under a sense of their danger, while out of Christ.. I hid a great desire to, stay longer v>vth them, but thought it my duty to proceed. Othat God would out of his love and power carry on the work in those mourning souls I I STAID there until the 3d day of November, and: preached among the people, and I have reason to hope that it was not in vain, for there were some that I discoursed ; with after sermon, that manifested some movings in their minds ; biit the people in general were settled down on a form of religion, and some not even on that, but all at peace, and but here and there one among a great crowd of professors that know any thing of the v/ork of God in their souls. O the shocking and irretrievable loss they will, meet with when tliis poor miserable life is at a period. They go sleeping to. the gi^ave, with an expectation of awakening in heaven, when they have that nature in them, in their own souls, that will be a hell to them for ever : and . this is the shocking mistake, that thousands make a de- pendance upon Ciod to save them, and to keep them out of hell, and beg that they may not go so hell, but do not think . ' of their being already in hell, nor make it their concern to have their naturesx:hanged from that nature of hell, to the nature of heaven* 3d. I RODE to the tov/n below, where I preached ; and! I think they were the most careless, hardened people, that I had found on that eastern shore ; Lord what will their end be ! O that they might consider and be awakened be- fore their day is over ! I then went to New-Casco, wl^ere I preached, luid the people gave great attention, and there began to be some movings. I staid and preached there some days. The minister of the place was very free, and i rejoiced to see some movings among his people. On Wednesday the 1 2th, I preached at a wedding, . and had the happiness thereby to be the means of exclud- ing carnal mirth ; and the young people seemed more fond after sermon of gathering round about me to hear me dis- coursing on religion, and to give them advice, than to be in the other company. And when I went ^.way they likewise scattered and went home. O Lord Jesus, follow them with thy blessing, and let not the least impression on their mind be lost. 13th, I RODE over to one Mr. Brown's, preacliedthe (li '"d- I i REV. HENRY ALLINE's t !i \i h\ il ! \ ; Sabbatli there, and I think the Lord spoke to the hearts of some. And as for my own. part, blessed be God, my soul was ahve, and my tongue at Hb'jriy to plead with poor sin- ners in the name of Jesus.* 17th. I RODE to Falmouth, ^\here one Mr. Dean was minister. I pvea':hed once in the week and once on the Sab- bath in his meeting-house to a great crowd of people. Monday I rode to the next parish where one Mr* Lancaster was minister. As for my bodily illness, it was still so great and heavy on me, that I was scarcely an hour free from pain, excepting when asleep ; but, blessed be God, he was the supporter and comforter of my mind. Here ends Mr.. Alline'3 journal, sickness preventing his proceeding further in it. In the foregoing pages Ave have had a pai'ticular ac- count of ti e dealings of God with the pious Mr. Henry Alline frora his childhood and youth, up to w'thin a little better than two months of his death ; viz. of Gcd's dealings with him under his conviction ; of his conversion, his call to t'.e ministry, his engaging therein, of his success in the ministry ; of the abuses and persec.uiions he met with in k ; and niany more particulars relating to him. We have but Httle account of hif> travels and preach- ing from the time he discontinued hit/ journal by reason of his sickness and pains till about a fortnight before his- death, which happened on the 2d of Fthrnary, 1784, be- tween thixie and four o'clock in the morning, at the Rev. Mr. M*Clure'^, minister of North-Hampton^, in the state of New- Hampshire. An account of his glorious and triumphant death is given by the Rev. Mr. M'Clure in the two following letters wrote to-Mr. William Alline of Falmouth, thcfkther of the deceased; SIR, Soon after the death of yom' son T wrote you by a ves- -.2I which sailed from Newbury -Port, informing vou of the melancholy Providence. The.letter was inclosed to Mr. liewolf, of Windsor, which I hope you have received ; but as it may have miscarried, bejng'now in Boston, from whence there are frequent oppoK'tunities of conveyance to Nova-Scmi;i,I shall leave this to bc.Turwarded by your neph- ew, ^Mr. Henry Alline.. i TiiK following extracts from some minutes, which. I kept of your son's sickness and death, \ now send you, con- LITE AND JOURNAL. irr r.Q^ / V ■ cludinpj it will be satisfactory to his bereaved parents, to know the particulars of the last day^ of so pious a son. January 22d. He arrived at my house accompaniedby the Rev. Mr. McClintock, very feeble, to appearance in the last stage of a hectic, and much oppressed with the asthma. 25th. Hk rode to the meeting house, and preached from Luke 19th c. 5th v. 26th,. To day had a faint sinking turn oppressed at his stomach, too weak to proceed on his intended journey to his friends in Boston. 27tb. Confixed to day to his bed. 28th, Last night an abscess, which had been for some days gathering, broke and discharged a quantity of putrid blood and water, which has lessened his pain, and he is able to sit up. 29th. Still growing weaker, )iis feet swell, and his cough severe. Expecting death approaching, he commit- ted to my care his papers and effects, with direction to be paiticularly careful of a number of hymns, which he had prepared tf) be published, with directions to write to his Iriends in Nova-Scotia, concluding his brother would come, to take care of them. 30th. This morning worse, had no sleep last night ; kept awake by tlie asthma, cough and fever. He told me^. he found hinaself goings The symptoms of death upon him,, and said none but Christ, none but Christ,. Yesterday the doctor, who had attended him from the time of his arrival,, asked him how he did? he answered, 1 have nothing to promise myself with regard to life. I am going and will- ing to go. Willing, not because I must die ; but because 1 hixvc a friend, who will support me in death. Satuiidav,3 1st. He told me he had a wearisome night with his bodily pains. One asked him how he did, he said I am in terrible distress, but yet I am well. He would oft- en say, that he had sweet hours. Such views of divine things, as made him almost forget all his pains. Restless without sleep all day ; the nurse constantly holding him up in the bed in the day time,antl this the great- er part of the night. His strength decays very rapidly. He desired me to sit down and write some things he ahould tell me, respecting-h'is life ; having a desire, he said,, that poor sinners should be made acquainted with some re- markable providences of God towards him, but he was too. weak to converse, and said he must put it off. 178 lEV, KFNRY ALLINE's r I It seems he preached every Sabbath from the time he left Nova-Scotia. He toM me, it had pleased God so far to' bless his labours, particularly among the young people at Harrisicket, that he has no reason to be sorry that he had undertaken the journey, although m so much weakness. He frequently expressed in his prayers and conversation most benevolent wishes for the spiriluul welfare of his friends, particularly in Nova-Scotia, and for the churches which he was connected with. He was about to send foi*^ some of his friends in Boston to come and see him, but con- cluded it would be too late. He chose to converse on no sub- jects but Christ and the love God in our redemption. February 1st. Sabbath morning. No sleep the last night ; his fever high ; he has his reason well ; distress- ed for breath, patient in his distress,. and resigned to the will of God. I said he was fast approaching to the end of his wearisome journey, and, as 1 trusted, to his entrance in a glorious rest. He said with great earnesmess ; O I long for it, I long for it; I observed to him that the promises of the gospel were a divine support to all who love our Lord Jesus. O yes, said he, but the promiser is greater than the promises, and he is with me* Going to meetmg he desir- ed a remembrance in our prayers, and said, O tell all my friends, that the blessed gospel, which I have preached to^ th6m is true, in *vhich they must believe in the lively belief of, and in which they will be safie in death. Sir, O preach; that blessed gospel.^ By reason of his great bodily pains and longing to be with Christ, he would sometimes check himself, fearing he was too impatient to be gone. I desire, says he, to wait God*s time. He said, he had begged of God, that he might not outlive his usefulness. O I long, said he, that poor sin- ners should have such views of the Lord Jesus> as I have. He wouM frequently exhort spectators to get an in- terest in Christ, assuring them that none but Christ would answer for them, when thev came to die. In the afternoon he told me he was afraid he should lose his reason, but hoped that God wou'd continue to him that blessinor. In the evening I observed to him that Christ was now his only help, .he said, I need not to be told of that, he is iww my only desire. His distress increased, and he longed to depart. I observed to him, that I trusted he would soon obtain the gracious fulfilment of the promises. I have n« 'I / ^' LIFE AND JOURNAL, 179 / H/ v. ■doulot, said lie, r.ot one, no more than if I was now there. He lay in great distress, groaning and reaching for breath ; iuitil aijoiit midnight he said, his thoughts began to be con- fused ; ily.'X he was not in a condition to pray ; desired me to go to prayer ; and at the close he repeated a loud and joyful amen. It was evident soon afier, that his reason was going, and his broken sentences were the breathings of a soul swallowed up in God. In this state he lay about two hours in great distress for breath, and the last intelligible sentence he spoke was in the strain of his geneaal conversation in these word«. Now I rejoice in the Lord Jesus. And between three and four o*clock in the morning he breathed out his soiU into the arms of Jesus, with whom he longed to be. Such was his peaceful end. The righ- teous hath hope in his death. Happy the man who dieth the death of the righteous, and whose last end is like his. O Tnay the living lay it to heart, and be excited by the speak- ing example of lively truth and holy fortituae in death to redouble their diligent efforts to secure the unfading-prize of immortal life. THE FUNERAL. The Height Jirrlng- minister* were requested to attend, and they accordingly came and walked as bearers. Feburay 3d. The corps vas carried from my house to the meetiiijg-house. The Rev. Dr. Langdtm made a orayer adapted to ihe solerenity, and a funeral hymn was sung-. It was then con- vejed to the burying-yard, preceded by s'x underbearers, includ- ing the deacons, ami deposited in a grave near to that of the Rev. Mr. Gookin, ibrincr pastor of the church. BEARERS. Rev. Mr. Noble, of St. John's . trj Rev. Mr. Buckminster, ot River, Nova-Scotia. ^ <^ Portsmouth, N. Hampshire. Rev, Mr. McClure, of North- fri ^| Rev. Mr. Thayer, of Hamp- ampton, New-Hampsliire. ^ •' ton, do. Rev. Mr. McClintock, of Green-^ _ Rev.Dr. Langdon.of Hamp- landjdo. jij ton Falls, do. Tkk eflects which he has left are principally a horse and sleigh, hid apparel and about twelve dollars in money. As I doubt not, Sir, from your worthy son's frequent mention of you, that you and his honoured mother have long walked with God, tliat it might afford you unspeak.ible sutisfaction, that you have hern blessed with such a son, and hare the triumphant hope of speedily meeting him, no more to part, in the bright region of eternal day. I AM, Sir, with great esteem, your verv obedient and sincere friend and servant, DAVID McCLURE. North- Hampton, New-Hampshire, April 29th 1784, Mr, William Alline. !80 R£V. HENRY ALLIKE's ! i n ' I; M, DEAR SIR, Yesterday I had the satisfaction to receive a letter from yon, elated the 18th of May, on the melancholy subject of the deatli of your late pious and worthy son. I had long been waiting with ilic expectation of hearing trom you, or seeing one of your sons here « which was the expectation of the deceased, to see about his pa- pers and dffects ; but my letters to 3 on have unfortunately mis- carried. I wrote you about three weeks after your son's decease, by a small vessel belongiwgto the river St. John's from Newbury- port. The letters were put on board by the postmaster. The let- ter to you was inclosed to Mr. Low ran Dewolf of Windsor. About the begiiniing of May I wrote aiyain from Boston to you, giving a more particular account of the triumphant exit of your fcon, together w ith the most remarkable occurrences of liis life during liis confinement. That letter I left to the care ol your kinsman, Mr. Henry Alline, of Boston, and liope that one or both of the above have C(ime lo your hands before this time. Your son giive me a particular charge with respect to a number of hymns, which it wus his desire should be published, for the benefit more especially of his friends in Nova Scotia. He had begun to draw oM the journal of his life in a legible hand, but had proceeded but a little way in it. He expressed a desire to have the remarkable providences of God towards him made public for the good of ^ouls. And if some judicious person, who is ac([uainted v.^th the ' characters in which he u rote, would undertake it ; something well worthy of the attention of the i)»iblic, and which might be very ben- eficial, might be collected. He appears to have been, by what I ean gather Irom his journals, a burning and shining light in Nova Scotia and elsewhere, and that many souls rejoiced in his light. And his christian virtues, zeal, fortitude, fiith, hope, rjatience and resignation shone bright as the lamp of life burnt down into the socket. And we trust, he is now united with s*eraphs and saints in their pure ardours oi' holy love ajnd c^-erlasting joy. From the time of his landing on tlic eastern ^horc, until his arrival at Fal- mouth, his journal is continued ; after that his infirmities prevent- ed his continuing it ; although they prevented not his preaching, which seems to have been attended with j)ower to the consciences of sinners in almost all the eastern shore, where he bestowed his la- hoiu's. May it please the Author of all gracious influences to che- rish the seed sown there, and cause it to bring forHi fruit which t'hall be to the praise of redeeming love, and a crown of joy to him tie faithful labourer. In my letter to you,, I gave an account of your son's effects, and agreeable to your directions shall forward them together with his papers, to your nephew, Mr. Henry Alline at Boston, to be by I»im forwarded. Wishing you, dei'r sir, and your worthy partner the divine consolations m tlie vale of life, and a happy meeting with our friend, your dear departed son, and the best of Heaven's bles- sings to }()ar family, I s\ibscribc my sell", dear Sir, your sympathiz- ing, allectionate, though, unktiown friend and servunt, DAVID IM'CLURS. Nonh-Hampton, New- Hampshire^ Aug. 3d. ir84. 1 ^