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Fhaedrus* Xdpi^ JtJLlKpoTffl* VOLUME I. *^- /M -^ :: ii ^:^^ , ■ »> • LONDON, v . It - .1 ' \ . Printed for J. N e w b e r y, ^ the Bihh and 5«« in St. PauPs Church rard. - ^^ MDCC LXll ♦ - ^ w MmX * •. ■ I \ t . i - ♦ 1 J ; t. . ... • \*, , ".- . * ' :■ ■"' 'V''>''.. '*■= ' 1? ■ "' '.^^0^^';' -■■*, ' ■'. * ■ .'. JV rr I'jt ?, , ■ ^"- 1 ' •'■■ -! ' ['- ^ ■ . •■■■. "Wi- ',y-tj.^.'^ v». •S Advertifement. THE Idler having omitted to di- ftinguifh the Eilays of his Corre- ipondents by any particular fignature, thinks it necefTary to inform his Read- ers, that from the ninth, the fifteenth, thirty third, forty fecond, fifty fourth, fixty feventh, feventy fixth, feventy ninth, eighty fecond, ninety third, ninety fixth, and ninety eighth Papers he claims no other praife than that of having given them to the Publick. /,, u * t 1 1 ■:i ■ - V- ''■''''"'^•'''*1'Xv^?*f- V « ■k^ i..i ■ f... ' > .• ' S^r- '^. -: J -^[ti^-ffi ' ? '■ 1 jL ,!>•■•■. j\'f-m\ hma *vfi .;hfti• -. 15. Treacle's Complaint of his Wife, Z% j6. D;R.\jGQiT's,Rfitirmenty X' 87' ^y VoL.L ;" ' * N'17. «'■. •^ 34 4^ t f» 47 5J 4 -. *^ 59 -'A 65 .V f •- 7' '-'C 77 ^m. *, ':^ •« #■- »A.' # i;: N*> // # ^•i: "■.l 17- i«. 19^ 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25' 26. 27. 29. 30. 32. 33- 34- 35- 36. 37- 38. 39^ 4P- T A B L E. Expedients of Idlers, Page 92 Drugget vindicated, 97 Whirler*s CharaSfefy 10% Louisbourg's Hijiory, 108 Li N G E R 's Hijhry of Lijilejfnefs, 1 1 5 Imprifonment cf Debtors, 120 Uncertainty of Friendjhipy 1 26 Man does not always think y 131 New ASlors on the Theatre ^ ivj Betty Broom's Hijiory^ 142 h^jver of Habit Sy 148 TV'edding Day^Grour's Wip-^ ' Chairman, S53 Betty Broom's Hijiory^ 159 Corruption of News-writers, 1 65 Difguijes of Idlenefs, Sober'j CharaSfer, 170 5/^^/, 17^ Journal of a Fellow of a College, 182 P2/«f^ tf»^ Converfition, Ju^lon Hunter, The terrifick DiSfion^ Iron and Gold, Debtors in Prifin, The Bracelet^ Art of Advertijingy u- ' •.«", 190 19s 201 206 211 218 224 On the Death of a Friend^^ ^^ . 229 i .dt^V N^4ac %>/ TABLE. N® 42. PtRDiTA's Compfaint of htr Fa- ther, ^ Page 235 43. MonUiomon the Flight of Timey 241 44. Ufe of Memory y 245 45. Portraits defended, 250 46. Molly Quick's Complaint of herMiftrefs, 256 47. Deborah Ginger's Account of City Wits, 262 48. The Buflles of Idlenefs^ 268 49. MA.Kv^h's Journey, 273 50. Marvel paralleled, 279 51. Domejiick Greatnefs unattainable, 284 1 52. Self denial necejfary. 289 ^i^ 5!Oeoc(^ ^... % 3eC3e()o^ ):«)oci . 3C€ >#:■ \ I. 'SIf « ,kn m # 1 IT ^,r> -*n .-_;:it^ ■^ F*/:.^f /! Cf^H* or »^ *n^ ,^- \ri\:^\iu '0 ■■-■ -S, J. ' i». . V%*t 'fi^i^.|iMV.HiM« ■5^rS *^— ».^> . c* s^l- •u •,*»• ••^^i THE. IDLER. VOL. I. N^ I. Saturday, April 15, 1758. Vacui fub umbra Lujtmus, HoR. ^8Ss:23*HOSE who attempt periodical Ef- T ^ fays feem to be often flopped in the l!5IK5?*# beginning, by the difficulty of find- ing a proper Title. Two Writers, frnce the time of the SpecSlator, have afllimed his Name, without any pretenfions to lawful inheritance ; an effort was once made to revive theTatlerj and the ftrange appellations, by which other Papers have been called, fhow that the Authours were diftrefTed, like the Natives of America^ who come to the Europeans to beg a Name. / Vol. L '• -'^'-'^-""-'^ '- .^;. . ^. 'It '" .'< J.* '-'tv •■■•, ll - -< 7- ■ •^It will be eafily believed of the Idler ^ that if his Title had required any fearch, he ne- ver would have found it. Every mode of life has its conveniencies. The Idler^ who habi- tuates himfelf to be fatisfied with what he can moft eafily obtain, not only efcapes labours which are often fruitlefs, but fometimes fuc~ ceeds better than thofe who defpife all that is within their reach, and think every thing more valuable as it is harder to be acquired. t;*. ,*4il' S't,**-;: If fimilitude of manners be a motive to kindnefs, the Idler may flatter himfelf with univerfal Patronage. There is no fingle cha- racter under which fuch numbers are comprifed. Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler, Even thofe who feem to differ moft from us are haft- ening to encreafe our Fraternity ; as peace is the end of war, fo to be idle is the ultimate purpofc of the bufy. -J -,A );"! il . There Is perhaps no Appellation by which ^ Writer can better denote his Kindred to the human Species. It has been found hard to de- fcribe Man by an adequate Definition. Some Philofophers have called him a reafonable Ani- mal, but others have confidered Reafon as a . • -,^ Quality i .',." >.:. i/'- N« !• T^S^ Idler. 3 Quality of which many creatures partake. He has been termed likewife a laughing Animal ; but it is faid that fome Men have never laugh- ed. Perhaps Man may be more properly diflinguifhed as an Idle Animal -, for there is no Man who is not fometimes Idle, It is at leaft a Definition from which none that fhall find it in this Paper can be excepted ; for who can be more idle than the Reader of the Idler P •'■■1 ^.(' "i: uiif- That the Definition may be complete, Idle^ nefs muft be not only the general, but the peculiar chara^teriftic of Man j and perhaps Man is the only Being that can properly be call- ed Idle, that does by others what he might do himfelf, or facrifices Duty or Pleafure tothe Loveof Ea(e. . ..,.di^lkl^^4>i.^'9fiK^<{ Scarcely any Name can be imagined from which lefs envy or competition is tobedieaded. The Idler has no Rivals or Enemies. The Man of Bufinefs forgets him; the Man of En- terprise defpifes him j and though fuch as tread the fame track of Life, fall comnjonly inta jealoufy anddifcord, Mers are always found to* afTociatc in Peace, and he who is moft, famed B 2 for Hhe Idler. NO for doing Nothing, is glad to meet another as idle as himlelf; 'ms^^'> Tr^^.-^;^.:--^-^.^ ^.il'i-.O 1 A ■ W J 1 fj^. What is to be expei-.^-u\^k Yet Hope is not wholly to be caft away. The Idier^ tho' fluggifh, is yet alive, and may fometimes be ftimulated to vigour and a(Slivity. He may defcend into profoundnefs, or tower into fublimity j for the diligence of an Idler is rapid and impetuous, as ponderous bodies forced into velocity move with violence propor- tionate to their weight. ( i> 17 N°2. ne Idl e r. life, will always wifli to advance rather by the impulfe of the' wind, than the ftrokes of the oar; and many founder in the paflage, while they lie waiting for the gale that is to waft them to their wiih. It will naturally be fufpe£led that the Idler has lately fuffered fome difappointment, and that he does not talk thus gravely for nothing. No man is required to betray his own fecrets. I will, however, confefs, that I have now been a Writer almoft a week, and have not yet heard a fmgle word of Praife, nor received one Hint from any Correfpondent. ,,#*■ fj ° Whence t'nis negligence proceeds I am not able to difcover. Many of my predeceflbrs have thought themfelves obliged to return their acknowledgments in the fecond paper, for the kind reception of the firft j and in a (hort time, apologies have become neceflary to thofe inge- nious Gentlemen and Ladies, whofe perform- ances, though in the higheft degree elegant and learned, have been unavoidably delayed. What then will be thought of me, who, having experienced no kindnefs, have no thanks B 4 ta ■\w-'^-r — 8^ 7he Idle r. N*2. to return ; whom no Gentlemen nor Lady has yet enabled to give any caufeof difcontent, and * who have therefore no opportunity of- Ihewing how fkilfully I can pacify refentment, extenuate negligence, or palliate rejedlion. A ' ' I HAVE long known that fplendor of reputa- tion is not to be counted among the neceflaries of life, and therefore /hall not much repine if praife be with-held 'till it is better deferved. But furely I may be allowed to complain that) in a nation of Authours, not one has thought me worthy of notice after fo fair an invitation.. . 'i At the time, when the rage of writing has Feized the old and young, when the Cook war- bles herLyricks in the Kitchen, and theThrafher vociferates his Heroicks in the Barn 5 when our Traders deal out knowledge in bulky volumes, and our Girls forfake their famplers to teach kingdoms wifdom, it may feem very unnecef- fary to draw any more from their proper occu- pations, by affording new opportunities of Li- terary Fame. :, ._. . , ^ .,.,,.. ., ^> I SHOULD be indeed unwilling to find that, for the fake of correfponding with the Id!er■ ,..,;, ^ Another has his pockets filled with Efr feys a(nd Epigrams, which he reads, froni houfe to houfe, to felecft parties 5 and which his acquaintances are dally entreating him to witH-hold no longer from the impatience of the Public. -^^;a^J fci^s. ■ili Su B5 Ir \S lo The Idler* N«>2. If among thefe any one is perfuaded that, by fuch preludes of compofition, he has quali- fied himfelf to appear in the open world, and is yet afraid of thofe cenfures which they who have already written, and they who cannot write, are equally ready to fulminate againft pub- lic Pretenders to Fame, he may, by tranfmitting his performances to the IdUr^ make a cheap experiment of his abilities, and enjoy the plea- fure of fuccefs, without the hazard of mifcar* Jfiage. » "* i*,-.-^-,* , *^ Many advantages not generally known arife from this method of ftealing on the Public. TheftandingAuthour of the Paper is always the obje N^2. *ne Idler. vH He that is known to contribute to a periodi- cal Work, needs no other caution than not to tell what particular Pieces are his own : fuch fecrefy is indeed very difficult; but if it can be maintained, it is fcarcely to be imagined at ho^r fmall an expence he may grow confiderable. , APerson of Quality, by a fmgle Paper, may engrofs the honour of a Volume, fame is in- deed dealt with a hand lefs and lefs bounteous thro* the fubordinate ranks, till it defcends to the profefled Authour, who will find it very dif- ficult to get more than he deferves 5 but every man who does not want it, or who needs not value it, may have liberal allowances ; and, for five letters in the year fent to the Idler^ of which perhaps only two are printed, will be promoted to the firft rank of Writers by thofe who are weary of the prefent race of Wits, and wifh to fink them into obfcurity before the luftre of a name not yet known enough to be aetefted. ---^--- '•'--- - ^ ;>^fj...,^*«;^ 'iiwy-mnt^m^t- I J;»-4?'\|A'%*tiH'.-^'.'V-i^»-i' l^JtU .1 5 v » ► Ai '■".'' .ilAa^:m ': -i:\X-: -^.r .--» if i ■i' .: ^^ V I {2 Tie I D L ]| x. . N* 3. N^ 3. Saturday, April 2(). ►t* Otta vtta Solamur contu. -'W Stat. IT has long been the complaint of thofe who frequent the Theatres, that all the Drama- tick Art has been long exhaufted, and that the viciffitudes of Fortune, and accidents of Life, have been (hewn in every poffible combination* till the firft fcene informs us of the laft,and the Play no fooner opens, than every auditor knows how it will conclude. When a Confpiracy is formed in a Tragedy, we guefs by whom it will be detCiSled j when a Letter is dropt in a Come- dy, we can tell by whom it will be found. Nothing is now left for the Poet but Charailer and Sentimieht, whicli are to make their vay as they can, without the foft anxiety of fufpenfe^ or the enlivening agitation of furprize. A NEW Paper lies under the fame difadvan- tages a$ a new Play. < There is danger left it be new without novelty. My earlier Prede- ceflbrs N«3- The iDLt'^k. 13 ce/Ibrs had their choice of vices and follies, and felei^ed fuch as were moft likely to raife mer- riment or attra3. That the Sun, by {hi»^'ng Ion r, will effufe all its fight J and that, by the continual wafte of aqueous particles, the whole Earth will at laft become a Tandy defart. 'JW* W ;' * I WOULD not advife my Readers to difturb themfelves by contriving how they ihall live without light and water. For the days of uni- verfal thirft and perpetual darknefe are at a great diftance. The Ocean and the Sun will laft our time, and we may leave pofterity ^o ihift for themfelves. :, .,,ij£:,i, j;5i av l^i^^l^- But if the ftores of Nature are limited, much more narrow bounds niuft be fet to the modes of life; and mankind may want amoral or a- mufing Paper, many years before they fhall be deprived of drink or day-light. This want, which to the bufy and the inventive may feem eafily remediable by fome fubftitute or other, the whole race of Idlen will feel with all the fenfibility that fuch torpid animals can fuiFer. . When I confider the innumerable multi- tudes that, having no motive of defire, or de- termination of will, lie freezing in perpetual inactivity, till fome external impulfeputs them . - ^ in H ■•■* 1- f Jt'-i"** N^ 3. Tie Idler. 15 in motion j who awake in the morning, vacant of thought, with minds gaping for the intel- ledtual food, which fome kind Eflayift has been accuftomcd to fupply ; I am moved by the com- miferation with which all human beings ought to behold the diftreffes of each other, to try fome expedients for their relief, and to inquire \>y what methods the liftlefs may be actuated, and the empty be replenifhed* There are faid to be pleafures in Madnefs known only to Madmen. There are certainly miferies inldlenefe, which the Idler only can conceive. Thefe miferies I have often felt and often bewailed. I know, by experience, -how welcome is every avocation that fummons the thoughts to a new image ; and how much lan- guor and laffitude are relieved by that officiouf- nefs which offers a momentary amufement to him who is unable to fmd it for himfelf. i . ' It is naturally indifferent to this race of mett what entertainment they receive, fo they are but entertained. They catch, with equal eagernefs, at a njoral lecture, or the memoirs of a robber; a predi . ^ 1 ^ • ■ • r - I ' • ■■ T — - '~"ifc-i t'-'T,-,. .^^-.^-^,—.—— ^^ „^^_, rTT ii ■ w^iMMa N<^ 4. Saturday 9 May 6. ■kWMMHta Tlolvla^ yap pMtoxi. Hom. CHARITY, or tchdemefs for the Podr, which is now juftly confidered, by a great part of mankind, as infeparable from piety, and in which almoft all the goodnefs of the prefent age confifts, is, I think, known only to thofe who enjo)^ either immediately or by tranfmif- ficn, the light of Revelation. . ' ''^ r;''. 'hose antient nations who have given us the wifert models of government, and the brighteft examples of patriotifm, whofe inftitutions have been tranfcribed by all fucceeding Legiflators, and u I i i8 TAe Idler. N«4. and whofe hiftory is ftudied by every candidate for political or military reputation, have yet left behind them no mention of alms-houfes or hofpitals, of places where age might repofe, or iicknefs be relieved. The Roman Emperors, indeed, gave large donatives to the citizens and foldiers, but thefe diftrlbutions v/ere always reckoned rather po- pular than virtuous : nothing more was intend- ed than an oftentation of liberality, nor was any recompence expedled, but fufFrages and ac- clamations. ! -i Their beneficencewas merely occafionalj he that ceafed to need the favour of the pcopic, ceafed likewife to court it j and therefore, no man thought it either neceflary or wife to make a .y ftanding provifion for the needy, to look forwards to the wants of pofterity, or to fecurc fucceflions of Charity, for fucceffions of Di- ftreft. .r . ' Compassion is by fome Reafoners, on whom the name of Philofophers has been too eafily conferred, refolved into an afFedion mere- ly feliiih, an involuntary perception of pain at the o N*^4' The Idler. 19 the involuntary fight of a being like ourfelves languifhing in mifery. But this fenfation, if ever it be felt at all from the brute inftin6t of uninftrufted nature, will only produce efFe ' (!) N^'s- *The I D LE R^ . 25 out them ? By what arts can they, who have long had no joy, but from the civilities of a Saltlier, now amufe their hours, and folace their feparation ? Of fifty thoufand men, now dcflined to different ftations, if we allow each to have been occafionally neceflary only to four wo- men, a fhort computation will inform us, that two hundred thoufand Ladies are left to languifh in diftrefs 5 two hundred thoufand Ladies, who muft run to Sales and A'adtions without an attendant ; fit at the Play, without a Critick to direct their opinion ; buy their Fans by their own judgment j difpofe Shells by their own invention ; walk in the Mall without a Gallant j go to the Gardens with- out a Protedtor j and fhuffle Cards with vain impatience for want of a fourth to complete the party. Of thefe Ladies, fome, I hope, have lap- dogs, and fome monke ys, but they are un- fatisfaftory companions. Many ufeful ofiices are performed by men of fcarlet, to whicTi neither dog nor monkey has adequate abili- ties : A parrot, indeed, is as fine a§ a Colo- VoL. L C uel. if r ill m 26 Tie Idler. N*»5. nel, and if he has been much ufed to good company, is not wholly without converfa- tion} but a parrot, after all, is a poor little creature, and has neither fword nor fhoulder- knot, can neither dance nor play at cards. Since the foldlers muft obey the call of their duty, and go to tliat fide of the kingdom which faces France^ I know not why the Ladies, who cannot live without them, fhould not follow them. The prejudices and pride of man have long prefumed the fword and fpindle made for different hands, and denied the other fex, to partake the grandeur of military glory. This notion maybe confiftently enough received inFrancei, where the Salic Law excludes females from the Throne; but we, who allow them to be Sovereigns, may furely fuppofe them capable to be foldiers. It were to be wiflied that fome man, whofe experience and authority might enforce re- gard, would propofe that our encampments for the prefent year (hould comprife an e- qual number of men and women, who fhould march and fight in mingled bodies. If pro- (D N The Idler. 5- ^ifje IDLER. 27 per Colonels were once appointed, and the drums ordered to beat for female volunteers, our regiments would Toon be filled without the reproach or cruelty of an imprefs. Of thefe Heroines, fome might ferve on foot, under the denomination of the Female Buff's^ and fome on horfeback, with the title oi Lady HuJJars^ t.-u-,.^- n; jo-j. n? What objedtions can be made to this fcheme I have endeavoured maturely to con- fiderj and cannot find that a modern foldicr has any duties, except that of obedience, which a Lady cannot perform. If the hair has loft its powder, a Lady has a puff. If a coat be fpotted, a Lady has abrufti. Strength is of lefs importance fmce fire-arms have been ufed ; blows of the hand are now feldom ex- changed; and what is there to be done in the charge or the retreat beyond the powers of a fpriglitly maiden? ' ''--'' - -•- . Our mafculine fquadrons will not fuppofe themfelves difgraced by their auxiliaries, till they have done fomething which women could not have done. The troops of Braddaci C 2 ncvet 1 I,; 28 ne Idler. N^ 5* never faw their enemies, and perhaps were defeated by women. If our American Gene- ral had headed an army of girls, he might ftill have built a fort, and taken it. Had Mi^ norca been defended by a female garrifon, it might have been furrendered, as it was, with- out a breach j and I cannot but think, that feven tlioufand women might have ventured to look at Rochfort^ fack a village, rob a vineyard, and return in fafety. •,; r^* t*, J ;^Y.\f^ ■'■ •> ).' I !!!> N^ 6. Saturday^ May 20. ' •■•M'^ Gr. Pro. 'T' RE I adv who had undertaken to ride on one Horfe a thoufand miles in a thoufand hours, has completed her journey in little more than two thirds of the time fti- pulated, and was condu6^ed through the laft mile with triumphal honours. Acclamation ftiouted before her, and all the flowers of the Spring were fcattered in her way. , ' . Every (1) N<» ^. The Idler. 29 Every heart ought to rejoice when true merit is diftinguiflied with publick notice. I am far from wifhing either to the Amazon or her Horfe any diminution of Happinefs, or Fame, and cannot but lament that they were not more amply and fuitably rewarded. Th^re was once a time when Wreaths of Bays or Oak were confidered as recompences equal to the moft wearifome labours and ter- rific dangers, and when the miferies of long marches and ftormy feas were at once driven from the remembrance by the fragrance of a •Garland, '' i..^*'.-j^^.r^.r.^.; ;...,. ; th^HS A-, l.j vX'v^ If this Heroine had been born in ancient times, fhe might perhaps have been delighted with the fimplicity of antient gratitude j or if any thing was wanting to full fatisfadlion, fhe .might have fupplied the deficiency with the hope of deification, and anticipated the altars that would be raifed, and the vows that would be made, by future Candidates for Equeftrian Glory, to the Patronefs of the Race and the Goddefs of the Stable. ' i i* ,,f^. - :i C3 But K\ 'iSii \\-,^i i 30 Tie Id LE n. N«^ 6. But Fate referved her for a more enlight- ened age, which has difcovered leaves and flowers to be tranfttory things ; which confi- ders profit as the end of Honour ; and rates the event of every undertaking only by the money that is gained or loft. In thefe days, to ftrew the road with Daifies and Lilies, is to mock Merit and delude Hope. The Toyman will not give his jewels, nor the Mercer meafure out his filks for vegetable coin. A Primrofe, though picked up under the feet of the moft renowned courfer, will neither be received as a Stake at Cards, nor procure a Seat at an Opera, nor buy Candles for a Rout, nor Lace for a Livf^' y. And though there arc many Virtuofos, whofe fole ambition is to po^efs fomething which can be found in no ether hand, yet fome are more accuftomed to ftore their cabinets by theft than purchafe, tnd none of them would either fleal or buy one of the Flowers of Gratulation till he Icnows that all the reft are totally deftroyed. Little therefore did it avail this wonder- ful Lady to be received however joyfully, with fuch obfolete and barren ceremoniey of praife. Had the way being covered with Gui- neas, ^ N^6. ne Idler. ct neas, though but for the tenth part of the laft mile, {he would have confidered her (kill and diligence as not wholly loft ; and might.have rejoiced in the fpeed and perfeverance which had left her fuch fuperfluity of time, that fhe could at leifure gather her reward without the danger of Atalantah mifcarriage. So much ground could not, indeed, have been paved with gold but at a large expence, and we are at pr'^fent engaged in war which demands and enioices frugality. But com- mon rules are made only for common Kfe, and fome deviation from general policy, may be allowed in favour of a lady, that rode a thouiand miles in a thoufand hours. > ^ Since the fpirit of antiquity fo much pre- vails amongft us, that even on this great oc- cafion we have given flowers inftead of money, let us at leaft complete our imitation of the Antients, and endeavour to tranfmit to pofte* rity the memory of that virtue, which we confider as fuperior to pecuniary recompence. Let an Equeftrian Statue of this Heroine be ereiSI-ed, near the ftarting poft on the heath of New-mar kety to fill kindred fouls with emu- C 4 lation. 'I 1 s^ Hhe Ibler. no 6. lation, and tell the Grand-daughters of our Grand-daughters what an Englijh Maiden has once performed, sf^ti** 3^n«^^ As events, however illuftrious, are fooh obfcured if they are intrufted to tradition, I think it neceflary, that the pedeftai fhould be infcribed with a concife account of this gieat performance. The compofition of thi. m ratfve ought not to be committed raihiy to improper hands. If the Rhetoricians of New^ market J who may be fuppofed likely to con- ceive in its full ftrength the dignity of the fub- je 7. ridiculous j and the only wifh of an Engli/h^ w«« was, to win his Winger, K ■'•: li'f^^'^vl N^ 7. - Saturday, May 27. I» ^^NE of the principal amufements of the Idler is to read the works of thofe mi- nute Hiftorians the Writers of News, who, though contemptuoufly overlooked by the Compofers of bulky volumes, are yet necef- fary in a nation where much wealth produces much leifure, and one part of the people has nothing to do but to obferve tne lives and fortunes of the other. " *?' i^ '^^^ ^^ "^ To us, who are regaled every morning and evening with intelligence, and are fup- plied from day to day with materials for con- verfation, it is difficult to conceive how man can fubfift without a News-paper,orto what entertainment companies can aflemble, in thofe \/ide regions of the earth that have nei- ther Chronicles nor Magazines^ neither Ga- ,,;, ,..,.^ %ttte^ N" 7. ne Idler. 35 zeties nor Advertlfers, neither Journals nor Evemng'PoJis, There are never great numbers In any nation, whofe Reafon or Invention can find employment for their tongues, who can raife a pleafing Difcourfe from their own ftock o^ fentimentR and images ; and thofe few who have qualified themfelves by fpeculation for general difquilitions, are foon left without an audience. The common talk of men muft relate to fa6ts in which the talkers have, or think they have, an intereftj and where fuch fa(Sts cannot be known, the pleafures of Society will be merely fenfual. Thus the na- tives of the Mahometan Empires, who ap- proach moft nearly to European civility, have no higher pleafure at their convivial affemblies than to hear a Piper, or gaze upon a Tum- bler, and no company can keep together longer than they are diverted by founds or ihows. All Foreigners remark, that the know- ledge of the common people of England is greater than that of any other vulgar. This fuperiority we undoubtedly owe to the rivulets of intelligence, which are continually trickling i C 6 ijjnong ;i ' •"• 36 The I L E R. N<^ 7. among us, which every one may catch, and of which every one partakes, . - This uhlverfal dilFufion of inftru£lion is, perhaps, not wholly without its inconvenien- cies J it certainly fills the nation with fuperfi- cial Difputants; enables thofe to talk who were born to work ; and affords information fufficient to elate vanity, and ftiffen obftinacy, but too little to enlarge»the mind into com- plete fkill for full comprehenfion. Whatever is found to gratify the Pub- Iick, will be multiplied by the emulation of venders beyond neceffity or ufe. This plenty indeed produces cheapnefs, but cheapnefs al- ways ends in negligence and depravation. :'i, ,!» th .1 ■ The compilation of News-papers is often comnitted to narrow and mercenary minds, not qualified for the tafk of delighting or in- ftru6ling ; who are content to fill their paper, with whatever matter, without induftry to ga- ther, or difcernment to feled. \j'i 'ft! Thus Journals arv* daily multiplied without increafe of knowledge. The tale of the Morning ;f»!:i N« 7. 7X^ Idler." ^7 Morning Paper is told again in the Evening, and the narratives of the Evening are bought again in the Morning. Thefe repetitions, in- deed, wafte time,, but they do not fhorten it. The moft eager perufer of news is tired before he has completed his labour, and many a man who enters the cofFee-houfe in his night-gown and flippers, is called away to his (hop, or his dinner, before he has well confidered the ftate of Europe, , , „ . , It is difcovcred by Reaumur^ that fpiders might make filk, if they could be perfuaded to live in peace together. The Writers of News,, if they could be confederated, might give more pleafure to thePublick. TheMorn- ing and Evening Authors might divide an event between them; a fingle action, and that not of much importance, might be gra- dually difcovered fo as to vary a whole week with joy, anxiety, and conjefture. ' ' ^ We know that a French fhip of war was lately taken by a ihip of England^ but this event was fufFered to burft upon us all at once, and then what we knew already was echoed mr •! i 11 38 Tie Idler. N<> 7. echoed from day to day, and from week to week. , . .. > ^- ,. .,,'<■■ r--v' Let ua-fuppofe thefe Spiders of Literature to fpin together, and enquire to what an extenfive web fuch another event might be re- gularly drawn, and how fix Morning and fix Evening Writers might agree to retail their articles. :'\i*J W*^'->?'' )'f'"V'2:H ^r.'i^'; On Monday Morning the Captain of a fhip might arrive, who left the Frifeur of France^ and the Bulldogs Capt. Grimy in fight of one another, fo that an engagement feemed unavoidable. '}*■ •^^i'^iw?-^'- Monday Evening, A found of cannon was heard off Cape Finijierre, fuppofed to be thofe of the Bulldog and Frifeur, u- Tuefday Morning, It was this morning re- ported, that the Bulldog engaged the Frifeur ^ yard-arm and yard-arm three glafles and a half, but was obliged to fheer off for want of powder. It is hoped that enquiry will be made into this affair in a proper place. X\ Tuefday N<>7- T^he Idler. 39 Tuefday Evening, The account of the en- gagement between xh^ Bulldog and Frifeur was premature. - ^ , JVednefday Morning, Another exprefs Is ar- rived, which brings news, that the Frifeur had loft all her mails, and three hundred of her men, in the late engagement \ and that Capt. Grim is come into harbour much (bat- tered. .... \. . . xV^^a":^'. ■• .^:. • ■■ ' : Wednefday Evening, We hear that the brave Capt.Gr//w, having expended his powder, pro- pofed to enter the Frifeur fword in hand, but that his Lieutenant, the Nephew of a certain Nobleman, remonftrated againft it. ..♦»'■ , 7. J?':;^? ►.!, u>.,i\\''\\). Thurfday Morning, We wait impatiently for a full account of the late engagement be- tween the Bulldog and Frifeur^ It Tlmrfday Evening, It is faid that the Order of the Bath will be fent to Capt. Grim, Friday Morning, A certain Lord of the Ad- miralty has been heard to fay of a certain Captain, that if he had done his duty, a cer- tain in;:,, •1:1 ?'* J,) i! t J '■■■* 1 I J < :i k 40 T'/J^ iDLteR. N*";- fain French (hip might have been taken. It Was not thus that merit was rewarded in the days of Cromwell, i * " Friday Evening, There is certain informa- tion at the Admiralty, that the Frifeur is taken, after a refiftance of about two hours. * Saturday Morning, A letter from one of the Gunners of the Bulldog, mentions the taking of the Frifeur, and attributes their fuccefs wholly to the bravery and refolution of Capt. Grim, who never owed any of his advance- ment to Borough-jobbers, or any other cor- rupters of the people. Saturday Evening. Capt. Grim arrived at the Admiralty, with an account that he en- gaged the Frifeur, a (hip of equal force with his own, off Cape Finijlerre, and took her, after an obflinate refiftance, having killed one hundred and fifty of the French, v^^ith -the lofs of lijiinety-fiye of his ovm men# / ^%h.y\i 'U ;J ^ N^8, V \ V WS. The Idler. 41 ./■.. >' ,.k ,♦;•;! N° 8. Saturday^ June '^. -i^i «,'. f .. ; h,y To the ID L E R. S I R, T N time of publick danger, it is every man's duty to withdraw his thoughts in feme meafure from his private intereft, an -■■».■' t " '• •■,''■■ -if J ?.■ ■ \ ->«••» .-, 1>V*-.- ■•**'v.'S-.?%.*Mt* In a battle every man fhould fight as if he was the fmgle Champion ; in preparations for war, every man fhould think, as if the laft event depended on his Counfel. None can tell what difcoveries are within his reach, -: or i.: P't ' '■ /■, i: ■•«' 4a Tie Idle r. N8. The Idler. 43 ravaged by a Dragon, who inhabited a deri under a rock, from which he ifliied forth when he was hungry or wanton, and with* out fear or mercy devoured men and beafts as they came in his way. Many Councils were held, and many devices offered, for his deftruiftion ; but as his back was armed with impenetrable fcales, none would ven- ture to attack him. At laft Dudon^ a French Knight, undertook the deliverance of the Ifland. From fome place of fecurity he took a view of the Dragon, or, as a modern Sol- dier would fay, reconnoitred him, and ob- ferved that his belly was naked and vulnera- ble. He then returned home to take his ar- rangements i and, by a very exa6i: imitation of Nature, made a Dragon of pafteboard, in the belly of which he put beef and mutton, and accuftomed two fturdy maftifFs to feed themfelves, by tearing their way to the con- cealed flefh. When his dogs were well prac- tifed in this method of plunder, he marched out with them at his heels, andfhewed them the Dragon ; they rufhed upon him in queft of their dinner ; Dudon battered his fcull while they lacerated his belly j and -neither , his I ' ''»' fl|. "The Idler. N^ 8. his fting nor claws were able to defend SoMETHrNG rici this might be pra!(rm ■X Om the next day let the fame place be fhewn them again, but with fome additions of ftrength or terror. I cannot pretend to inform our Generals through what grada- tions of danger they ihall train their men to fortitude. They beft know what the fol- diers and what themfelves can bear. It will be proper that the war fhould every day vary its appearance. Sometimes, as they mount the* rampart, a Cook may throw fat upon the fire, to a^cuftom them to a fudden blaze ; and fometimes, by the clatter of empty pots, they may be inured to formidable noifes. But let it never be fiargotten, that ViiSlory muft repoie with a full Belly- 1 ■ . 'f ^^■'^' *j^ »». ^ . -. . . .. ,V •-■'V'^ In time it will be proper to bring our French prifoners from the coaft, and place them upon the walls in martial ordc. At their firft appearance their hands muft be tied, but they may be allowed to grin. In a month they may guard the place with their hands Icofed, provided that on pain of death they be forbidden to itrike. :;, <, < • f/vv 3 By 46 . sra^ Idler. N«8. i.BY this method our army will foon be brought to look an enemy in the face. But it has been lately obferved, that fear is re- ceived by the ear as well as the eyes, and the Indian War-cry is repref nted as too dread- ful to be endured ; -as a found that will forc9 the braveft Veteran to drop his weapon, and defert his rank j that will deafen his ear, and chill his breaft ; /that will neither fufFer him to hear orders or to feel (hame, or retain any fenfibility but the dread of death . *f :That the favage clamours of naked Bar- barians fhould thus terrify troops difciplined to war, and ranged in array with arms in their hands, is furely ftrange. But this is no time to reafon. I am of opinion, that, by a proper mixture of Afles, Bulls, Tur- keys, Geefe and Tragedians, a noife might be procured equally hbrrid with the War- • cry. When our men have been encouraged by frequent vi(5tories, nothing will remain but to qualify them for extreme danger, by a fudden concert of terrifick vociferation. When they have endured this laft trial, let them be led to action, as men who are no longer to be frightened 5 as men, who can *'l }^ bear N*'. 9. iTbe Idler. 47 bear at once the grimaces of the Gauh^ and the howl of the Americans, N^ o. Saturday, June lo. ' . t :-^n sn, /^^ IDLER. ■»■■?»« ,yV Sir, T Pave read you ; that is a favour few Au- thors can boaft of having received from me befides yourfelf. My intention in telling you of it is to inform you, that you have both pleafed and angered me. Never u. \ Writer appear fo delightful to me as you did when you adopted the name of the Idler : But what a fiilling off was there when your firft pro- duction was brought to light ! A natural irre- fiftible attachment to that favourable paffion, idlings had led me to hope for indulgence from the Idler.^ but I End him a ftranger to the title. ivnti' -^:'^c V: iJ^ji^J 's: f "What rules has he propofed totally to un- brace the flackened nerve i to fhade the heavy 2 ^ eye w Tie Idler. N' 10) 48 TJbe Idler. r^"9' eye of inattention ; to give the fmooth fea- ture and the uncontra6ted mufcle ; or pro- cure infenfibility to the whole animal com^ pofition. " These were fomeof the placid bleflings I promifcd myfelf the enjoyment of, when I committed violence upon myfelf, by muftei- ing up all my ftrength to fet about reading you j but I am difapjJointed in them all, and the ftroke of eleven in the Morning is ftill as terrible to me as before, and I find putting on my Cloaths ftill as painful and laborious. Oh that our climate would permit that original nakednefs which the thrice happy Indians to this day enjoy ! How many unfolicitous hours fhould 1 bafk away, warmed in bed by the Sun's glorious beams, could I, like them, tumble from thence in a moment, when ne- ceffity obliges me to endure the torment of getting upon my legs. -*• , ,. .. "■•'■' *' But wherefore do I talk to you upon .fubje(fts of this delicate nature j you who feem ignorant of the inexpreffible charms of tiie Elbow-chair, attended with a foft Stool for the elevation of the icet ! Thus, vacant of N^9- l^he I D L ER. ^ 49 of Thought, do I indulge the live-long day. ■>' '• •,^;.i.-- • " You may define Happincfs as you pleafc > I embrace that opinion which makes it con- fift in the abfence of pain. To refle6^ is pain ; toftir is pain ; therefore I never refleiSt or flit but when I cannot help it. Perhaps you will call my fcheme of life Indolence, and there- fore think the Idler excufed from taking any notice of me : but I have always looked up- on Indolence and Idlenefs as the fame, and fo defirc you will now and then, while you profefs yourfelf of our fraternity, take fome notice of me, and -others in my fiLuation,who think they have a right to ypur alfiftance, or relinquifh the name, r. :;^ *,;>:...,, " You may publifli, burn, or deftroy this, juft as you arc in the humour; it is ten to one but I forget that I wrote it before it reaches you. I believe you may find a motto for it in Horace, but I cannot reach him without getting ont of my Chair \ that is a fufficient reafon for my not affixing any. — And being obliged to fit upright to ring the bell for my fervant to convey this to the D Penny I I IWHjlJ), III VI. ^mTT c 'I li;:. ! m so \ ' The Idler. N<* 9. Penny Poft, if I flip the opportunity of his be^ ing now in the room, makes me break off abruptly." •'. ,« ^ THIS Correfpondent, whoever he be, is not to be difmifled without feme tokens of re- gard. There is no mark more certain of a genuine IdUr^ than Uneafmefs without Mo- leftation, and Complaint without a Grievance. Yet, my gratitude to the Contributor of half a Paper ihall not wholly overpower my iincerity. I muft inform him, that, with all his pretenfions, he that calls for directions to be idle, is yet but in the rudiments of Idlenefs, and has attained neither the pra6lice nor the- ory of wafting life. The true nature of Idlenefs he will know in time, by continuing to be idle. Virgil tells us of an impetuous and ra- pid being, that acquires ftrength by motion. The Idler acquires weight by lying ftill. The vis inertia^ the quality of refitting all external impulfe, is hourly increafing ; the reftlefs and troublefome faculties of attention and diftinClion, rcfledlion on the paft, and foli- V . citudc N^'g* ^he Idler. 51: citude for tlie future, by a long indulgence of Idlenefs, will, like tapers in unelaftic air, be gradually extinguifhed ; and the officious Lover, the vigilant Soldier, the bufy Trader, may, by a judicious compofure of his mind, fmk into a ftate approaching to that of brute matter ; in which he ftiall retain the confci- oufnefs of his own exiftence, only by an ob- tufelangour, and drowfy difcontent. ^ This is the loweft ftage to' which the Favourites of Idlenefs can defcend ; thefe re- gions of undelighted quiet can be entered by few. Of thofe that are preparing to fmk down into their fliade, fome are rouzed into action by Avarice or Ambition, fome are a- wakened by the voice of Fame, fome allured by the fmile of Beauty, and many with-held by the importunities of Want. Of all the enemies of Idlenefs, Want is the moft formi- dable. Fame is foon found to be a found, and Love a dream ; Avarice and Ambition may be juftly fufpe6led of privy confederacies with Idlenefs ; for when they have for a- while protected their Votaries, they often de- liver them up to end their lives under her dominion. Want always ftruggles againft D 2 Idlenefs, II 52 T^he Idler. N<» 9. Idlenefs, but Want herfelf is often over- come ; and every hour fliews the careful ob- ferver, thofe who had rather live in eafe than in plenty. . ,.- . .,-. , . . • .. So wide is the reign of Tdlenefs, and fo powerful her influence. But fhe does not immediately confer all her gifts. My corrcf- pondentjwhofeems, with all his errors, wor- thy of advice, muft be told, that he is calling too haflily for the laft effufion of total infen- fibility. Whatever he may have been taught by unfkilful Idlers to believe, labour is ne- cefTary in his initiation to Idlenefs. He that never labours may know the pains- of Idle- nefs but not the pleafure. The comfort is, that if he devotes himfelf to infenfibility, he will daily lengthen the intervals of Idle- nefs, and fiiorten thofe of labour, till at laft he will lie down to reft, and no longer difturb the world or himfelf by buftle or competition. , , , ., ,^ > ,,,,. , , .HP:, W'^-> ■u- , Thus I have endeavoured to give him thnt information which, perhaps, after all, he did not want ; for a true Idkr often calls :■■'■••*•.,- '^^^^-■-^ '■.••;v^txj/^t'^^ ■ .':';-^'/ for 53 N^? 9. ^he Idler. for that which he knows is never to be had, and afks queftions which he docs not defirc ever to be anfwered. -; .?- N^ 10. Saturday, Jane 17. ' ^"^REDULITY, or Confidence of opinion too great for the evidence from which opinion is derived, we find to be a general weaknefs imputed by every fe6t and party to all others, and indeed by every man to ever/ other man. Of all kinds of Credulity, the moft obiTi- nate and wonderful is that of political zealots ; of men, who, being numbered, they know not how nor why, in any of the parties that divide a State, refign the ufe of their own eyes and ears, and refolve to believe nothing that does not favour thofe whom they profeis to follow. D The 54 The Idler. N^ io. The Bigot of Philofophy is feduced by au- thorities which he has not always opportunities to examine, is intangled in fyftems by which truth and falfliood are inextricably compli- cated, or undertakes to talk on fubjeifls, which Nature did not form him able to compre- hend. '.-'-''" ■. ■ -''■ ■ '^^ ■•■''■■' ■' •■■- nf^.- _,«;■ The Cartefian, who denies that his horfe feels the fpur, or that the hare is afraid when the hounds approach her; the Difciple of \ Malhranche^ who maintains that the man was not hurt by the bullet, which, according to vulgar apprehenfions, fwept away his legs ; the Follower oi Berkley^ who, while he fits writing at his table, declares that he has nei- ther table, paper, nor fingers; have all the honour at leaft of being deceived by fallacies not eafily dete(5led, and may plead that they did not forfake truth, but for appearances which they were not able to diftinguiih from it. ; -^u;; /^/ :./■ - ■'" .^ Iv.. v\:. • ^^' ^ m ft But the man who engages in a party has feldom to do with any thing remote or ab- ftrufe. The prefent ftate of things is before his eyes j and, if he cannot be fatkfied with- out N<^ 10. The Idle r. 55 out retrofpeftion, yet he fcldom extends his views beyond the hiftorical events of the laft century. All the knowledge that he can want is within his attainment, and moft of the ar- guments which he can hear are within his ca- pacity. r'.'X fri^W'**'' Yet fo it is that an Idler meets every hour of his life with men who have different opi- nions upon every thing paft, prefent, and fu- ture J who deny the moft notorious fafts, con- tradict the moft cogent truths, and perfift in - afferting to-day what they afferted yefterday, in defiance of evidenccj and contempt of con- futation. * ?*■■■ Two of my companions, who are grown old in Idlenefs, are Tom Tempeji and Jack Sneaker, Both of them confider themfelves as negle<5led by their parties, and there- fore intitled to credit, for why fhonld they fa- vour ingratitude ? They are both men of in- tegrity where no factious intereft is to be pro- moted, and both lovers of truth, when they are not heated with political debate. D4 Tom 56 I'he Idler. N" 10. • Tom Tempeji is a fteady friend to the Houfe of Stuart. He can recount the prodigies that have appeared in the fjcy, and the calamities that have afflit^led the nation every year from the Revolution, and is of opinion, that if the exiled family had continued to n ign, there would have neither been worms in our ihips nor caterpillars on our trees. He wonders tliat the nation was not awakened by the hard troft to a revocation of the true King, and is hourly afraid that the whole ifland will be lolt in the fea. He believes that King William burned Whitehall that he might fteal the fur- Tiiture, and that Tillotfon died an Atheift. Of Qiieen j^nne he fpeaks with more ter>dernefs, owns that fhe meant well, and can tell by whom and why ftie was poifoned. In the fuc- ceedijig reigns all has been corruption, malice, and defign. He believes that nothing ill has ever happened for thefe forty years by chance or error ; he holds that the battle of Dettingen was won by miftake, and that of Fontenoy loft by contrail j that the Vi^ory was funk by a private order ; that Cor?ihill was fired by emif- faries from the Council ; and the arch of /K//- minJler-Bridge was fo contrived as to fink on purpofe that the nation might be put to charge. \ N*' 10. The Idler. 57 charge. He confiders the new road to Ifing" ton as an encroachment on liberty, and often aflerts that broad wheels will be the ruin of England. ^' '^ f ' - ^- .*' '" Tom is generally vehement and noify, but neverthelefs has fome fecrets which he always communicates in a whifper. Many and many a time has Tom told me, in a corner, that our miferies were almoft at an end, and that we fliould fee, in a month, another Monarch on the Throne ; the time elapfes without a Re- volution ; Tom meets me again with new in- telligence, the whole fcheme is now fettled, and we fhall fee great events in another month. Jack Sneaker is a hearty adherent to the prefent eftablilhment ; he has known thofe who faw the bed into which the Pretender was conveyed in a warming-pan. He often re- joices that the nation was not enllaved by t!ie Irijh, He believes that King William never loft a battle, and that if he had lived one year longer he would have conquered France, He holds that CharUi the Firft. was a Papift. He allows there were fome good men in the reign of ^t^Vi Anne^ but the Peace of Utrecht I) 5 brought 1.' A«, 58 r.^^ I D L E R, NO 10. brought a blafl upon the nation, and has been the caufe of all the evil that we have fufFered to the prefent hour. He believes that the icheme of the South Sea was well intended, but that it mifcarried by the influence of France. He confiders a ftanding army as the bulwark of liberty, thinks us fecured from corruption by fepteilnial Parliaments, relates how we are enriched and ftrengthened by the EleiStoral Dominions, and declares that the public debt is a blefling to the nation. Yet amidft all this profperity, poor yack is hourly difturbed by the dread of Popery. He wonders that fome ftri(Ster laws are not made againft Papifts, and is fometimes afraid that they are bufy with French gold among the Bifhops and Judges. He cannot believe that the Nonjurors are fo quiet for nothing, they muft certainly be forming fome plot for the eftablifhment of Popery ; he does not think the prefent Oaths fufficiently binding, and wifties that fome bet- ter fecurity could be found for the fucceffion of Hanover, He is zealous for the naturali- zation of foreign Proteftants, and rejoiced at the N° II. The Idler. 59 the admiflion of the Jews to the Englifl) pri- vileges, becaufe he thought a 'Jew would ne- ver be a Papift, N^ II. Saturday i June 2/^. T T is commonly obferved, that when two Englijhmen meet, their firft talk is of the weather ; they are in hafte to tell each other, what each muft already know, that it is hot or cold, bright or cloudy, windy or calm. There are, among the numerous lovers of fubtilties and paradoxes, fome who derive the civil inftitutions of every country from its cli- mnie, who impute freedom and flavery to the temperature of the air, can fix the meridian of vice and virtue, and tell at what degree of latitude we are to expea courage or timidi- ty, knowledge or ignorance. From thefc dreams of idle fpeculation, a flight furvey of life, and a little knowledge of hiftory, is fufficient to awaken any Enquirer, D 6 whofc 6o ne Idler. N° n. whofe ambition of diftin£lion has not over- powered his love of truth. Forms of govern- ment are feldom the refult of much delibera- tion, they are framed by chance in popular aflemblies, or in conquered countries by de- fpotick authority. Laws are often occafional, often capricious, made always by a few, and fometimes by a fingle voice. Nations have changed their characters ; Slavery is now no where morepatiently endured, than in countries once inhabited by the Zealots of Liberty. \ But national cuftoms can arife only from general agreement ; they axe not impofed but chofen, and are continued only by the conti- nuance of their caufe. An Englijkmans no- tice of the weather, is the natural confequence of changeable fKies, and uncertain feafons. In many parts of the world, wet weather and diy are regularly expeded at certain periods ; but in our ifland, every man goes to fleep, unable to guefs whether he (hall behold in the morn- ing a bright or cloudy atmof^/here, whether his reft (hall be lulled by a fhower, or broken by a tempeft. We therefore rejoice mutualJy at good weather, as at an efcape from fome- thing that we feared, and mutually complain ... ^.. of N" II. The Idler. 6i of bad, as of the lofs of fomething that we hoped. ' ^ - V ^ , ; )« Such is the reafon of our practice, and who fhall treat it with contempt ? Surely not the attendant on a Court, whofe bufinefs is to watch the looks of a being weak and foolifh as himfelf, and whofe vanity is to recount the names of men, who might drop into nothing, and leave no vacuity; not the Proprietor of . Funds, who flops his acquaintance in the ftreet to tell him of the lofs of half a crown j not the Enquirer after News, who fills his head with foreign events, and talks of (kir- miflies and fieges, of which no confequence will ever reach his hearers or himfelf. The weather is a nobler and more interefling fub- jecSl, it is the prefent ftateof the fkies and of the earth, on which plenty and famine are fufpend- ed, on which millions depend for the n^cefTa- rres of life. *•"' ' ] • The weather is frequently mentioned for another reafon^ lefs honourable to my dear countrymen. Our difijofitions too frequently change with the colour of the Sky, and when we find ourfelvcs chearful and good-natured we ■It, fill,' mmm 62 Tie Idler. N°ii. we naturally pay our acknowledgments to the powers of Sun-fliine, or if we fink into duU- nef^ and peevifhnefs, look round the horizon for an excufe, and charge our difcontent upon an eafterly wind or a cloudy day. ; ; , Surely nothing is more reproachful to a being endowed with reafon, than to refign its powers to the influence of the air, and live in dependance on the weather and the wind, for the only bleflings which Nature has put into our power. Tranquillity and Benevolence. To look up to the Sky for the nutriment of our bodies is the condition of nature 5 to call upon the Sun for peace and gaiety, or deprecate the Clouds left forrow fhould overwhelm us, is the cowardice of Idlenefs, and the idolatry of Folly. . .^_.,„,.„ .,,._■.,,,,„,_„ .„. I > V ^ - i Yet even in this age of enquiry and know- ledge, when fuperftition is driven away, and omens and prodigies have loft their terrors, we find this folly countenanced by frequent examples. Thofe that laugh at the portentous glare of a Comet, and hear a Crow with equal tranquillity from the right or left, will yet talk of times and fituations proper for intelleaual \ N® II. Hhe Idler. 63 performances, will imagine the fancy exalted by vernal breezes, and the reafon invigorated by a bright calm. % If men who have given up themfelves to fanciful credulity would confine their conceits in their own minds, they might regulate their lives by the barometer, with inconvenience only to themfelves ; but to fill the world with ac- counts of intelleds fubjecS: to ebb and flow, of one genius that awakened in the Spring, and another that ripened in the Autumn, of one mind expanded in the Summer, and of ano- ther concentrated in the Winter, is no lefs dangerous, than to tell children of Bugbears and Goblins. Fear will find every houfe haunted, and Idlenefs will wait for ever for the moment of illumination. This diftin6tion of feafons is produced on- ly by imagination operating on luxury. To Temperance every day is bright, and every hour is propitious to Diligence. He that fhall refolutely exc'te his faculties, or exert his vir- tues, will foon make himfelf fuperiour to the feafons, and may fet at defiance the morning mift. > i 64 The Idler. N® "• mift, and the evening damp, the blafts of the eaft, and the clouds of the fouth. It was the boaft of the Stoick Philofophy, to make man unihaken by calamity, and un- dated by fuccefs, incorruptible by pleafure, and invulnerable by pain j thefe are heights of wifdom which none ever attained, and to which few can afpire j but there are lower de- grees of conftancy neceflary to common vir- tue, and every man, however he may diftrufl himfelf in the extremes of good or evil, might at leaft ftruggle againft the tyranny of the cli- mate, and refufe to enflave his virtue or his reafon to the moft variable of all variations, the changes of the weather. ^^, ,, ,^ xu^ . %- ■» ; ^^**iSr " • 9nf wjiTif iSr \ • -»♦*. ■».♦>. -^'♦'^ «ft .. - ■: ',„«?/..-• ■.■ . " . ■ t:'. . ..4, '.■■;•'-> '-^ J ^" '-. -./ .;■ .',f...f..-. 1' ', ■.'.■. - * ■' * r , ; ',, -■ ■ .. . .';-- ' n- . ,^. ^•v ••--,* 1 ■ •■','('':■'' N^ 12. N^ 12. T^he Id L er. i'-'('i^\ ■■%■ ''■■*; : ^5 N^ 12. Saturday, July i. ^HAT every man is important in his own eyes, is a pofition of which we all either voluntarily or unwarily at kaft once an hour confefs the truth, and it will una- voidably follow that every man believes him- felf important to the publick. * ,.--,.. The right which this importance gives us to general notice and vifible diftin« 71 NO 13. Saturday, "July 8. T ^ 51; /^^ I D L E R. :-/"■' ' Dear Mr, Idler, 'HOUGH few men of prudence are much inclined to interpofe in difputes between Man and Wife, who commonly make peace at the expence of the arbitrator, yet I will venture to lay before you a contro- verfy, by which the quiet of my houfe has been longdifturbed, and which, unlefs yoi^can decide it, is likely to produce lafting evils, and em- bitter thofe hours which Nature feems to have appropriated to tendernefs and repofe. ^ ' Ml. i';:>';i >d' I MARRIED a Wife with no great fortune, but of a family remarkable for domeftic pru- dence, and elegant frugality. I lived with her at eafe, if not with happinefs, and feldom had any n.'afon of complaint. The houfe was always clean, the fervants were aftive and regular, 72 - "the Id LER. N^. 13. regi'l^r, dinner was on the table every day at the fame minute, and the Ladies'of the neigh- bourhood were frightened when I invited their Hulbands, left their own ceconomy ftiould be lefs efteemed. During this gentle lapfc of life, my Dear brought me three Daughters. I wiflied for a Son to continue the family, but my Wife often tells me, that Boys are dirty things, and are always troublefome in- •^ houfe, and declares that fne has hated the fight of them, ever fince fhe law Lady Fondle s eldeft Son ride over a carpet with his hobby -horfe all mire. I DID not much attend to her opinion, but knew that Girls could not be made Boys, and therefore compofed myfelf to bear what I could not remedy, and refolved to beftow that care on my Daughters, to which only the Sons are commonly thought entitled. But my Wife's notions of education differ widel) from mine. She is an irreconcileable enemy to Idlenefs, and confiders every ftate of life as Idlenefs, in which the hands are not employed. ill! N» 13. ne Idler. 73 employed, or fome art acquired, by which (he thinks money may be got or faved. \ \ ■- In purfuance of this principle, (he calls up her Daughters at a certain hour, and appoints them a tafk of needle-work to e performed before breakfaft. They are confined in a garret, which has its window in the roof, both becau'fe work is beft done at a fky-light, and becaufe children are apt to lofe time by look- ing about them. They bring down their work to breakfafl, and as they deferve are commended or re- proved ; they are then, fent up with a nev/ taik till dinner; if no company is exp-«Sted, th'iir mother fits with them the whole after- noon, to dire£l their operations, and to draw' patterns, and is fometimes denied to her near- eft relations when fhe is engaged in teaching them a new ilitch. ' , ' ■ ^ iff J ■It I By this cont nual exerrtfe of their dili- gence, fhe has obtained a very confidcrable number of laborious performances. V/e have twice as many fire-fkreens as chimneys, and three flourifhed quilts for every l>ed. Half ■^U 74 ^he Idler. N^' 13. the rooms are adorned with a kind oi futile ph^r£s which imitate tapeftry. But all their work is not fet out to fliew ; flie has boxes filled with knit garters and braided fhoes. She has twenty covers for fide faddles embroidered with filver flowers, and has curtains wrought with gold in various figures, which fhe re- folves fome time or other to hang up. All thefe ihe difplays to her company whenever (he is elate with merit, and eager for praife ; and amidft the praifes which her friends and herielf beftow upon her merit, (he never fails to turn to me and a(k what all thcfe would i:pft if I had been to buy them* U) p'-i I SOMETIMES venture to tell her, that many of the ornaments are fuperfluousj that what is done with forouch labour might have been fupplied by a very eafy purchafe ; that the work is not always wofth the materials ; and that I know not why the children fhould be perfecuted with ufelefs talks, or obliged to make fhoes that are never worn. She anfwers with a look of contempt^ that nien never care bow money goes, and proceeds to tejl of a (ioxen new chairs for which ihe is contriving f^wers^ •l»' r-^.- -,r"^'t\^:-nT^:--^_ -'"'c">"'5 N« 13. T/m Idler. 75 covers, and of a couch which (he intends to itand as a moirameiit of needle-work. In the mean time the girls grow up In total ig^norance of every thing pali, prefent, and future. Moify a(ked me, the other day, whe- ther Ireland wns in FrancSy and was ordered by her mother to mend her hem. Kitty knows not, at fixteen, the difference between a Pro- teftant and a Papift, bccaule ihe has been employed three years in filling the fide of a clofet with a hanging that is to repref?nt Cranmer in the flames. And DoUy^ my eldeft girl, is now unable to read a cliapter in the Bible, Jiaving fpcnt all the time, which other children pafs at fchool, in working the In- terview between Solomon and the Quecii of About a mondi 3go^ Teni and Turhy- ilitch feemed at a ftand ; my Wifa knew nof what new Work to Introduce; ' iitured to propofe that the Girls fhould now Icr.n to jtcad and write, and mentioned the ncccflitv of a little arithmetick ; but, unJianpily, my Wife has difcovcrcd ihat ILnai wears out, ^nd has bought the Girls three llttJc whctKs^ E 2 that Itfirl it'-- ¥4' I li lis' _ 5* li i '■■, . 76 T/je Idler. N« i ^. : that they may fpin hukkaback for the fervants table, I remonftrated, that with larger wheels they might difpatch in an hour, what muft JK)W coft them a day ; but fhe told me^ with irrefiflible authority, that any bufinefs is bet-: ter than Idlenefs ; that when thefe wheels are fet upon a table, with mats under thcm^ they will turn without noife, and keep the Girls upright ; that great wheels are not fit for Gentlewomen ; and that with thefe, fmall as they are, {he does not doubt but that the 1 three Girls, if they are kept clofe, will fpin every year as much cloth as would coft five pounds^ if one was to buy it. , . , f , .'■ :^--:r.'r -avr ,:•• . .f. ^i ' ■: i\< :it:_ ir •■. I i:: ,i;>.ij.; '.. .. t "H ^p N«i4. > iiJ i - ■,-• •."■,:;!»■• W ^A' Tjbe Idler! ,.j^ ?£. .A. 77 N^ 14. Saturday i July 15. Xlu^HEN Diogenes received a vifit in his . .jTi^Jj^ Tub from Alexander the Great^ and was afked, according to the ancient forms of royal courtefy, what petition he had to offer, / have nothings faiJ he, to a/k^ but that you would remove to the other fide, that you may not, by intercepting the SunJJAne, take from r^e .Vihat you cannot ^i\je /?i^.w^ii;irT,;1; 1 '(^■-" •<' *f»\ ) • J * *^ ,* V •- v.- •/ T ' - '^J* J V. v./ ■■ . , * A- ^ Such was the demand of Diogenes from the grcateft Monarch of the Earth, which thofe, who have lefs power than Alexander, may, with yet more propriety, apply to them- felves. He, that does much good, may be allowed to do fometimes a little harm. But if the opportunities of beneficence be denied by fortune, innocence fliould at lead be vi- gilantly preferved. "ii't-i ^ J' E3 It :U mr ir. ^ Mm t 78 ^he Idle r. N^ 4. It is well known, that Time on.ce paft never returns, and that the moment which is loft, is loft for ever. Time therefore ought, above all other kinds of property, to be free from invafian, and yet there is no man who does not claim the power of wafting that Time which is the ri^ht of others* ... -, « This uftirpation is h general, that a very fmall part of the year is fpent by choice; fcarcely any thing is done when it is intended, or obtained when it is defired. Life is conti- nually ravaged by invaders ; one fteals away an hour, and another a day \ one conceals the robbery by hurrying us into bufinefs, an- other by lulling us with amufement j the de- predation is continued through a thoufand vi*- ciflitudes of tumult and tranquillity, tifl hav- ing loft all, we can lofe no more. This wafte of the lives of men has been very frequentlyrharged upon theGreat^ whofe followers linger from year to year in cxpe6ta- trons, and die at laft with petitions in their hands. Thofe who raife envy will eaftly in- c ur cenfure. I know not whether Statefmen *nd Patrons do njjt^ i\iSi^ more reproaches than. 1 -f*. N" 14. tie Idler, 79 than they deferve, and may not rather them* felves complain that they are given up a prey to prctcnfions without merit, and to importu- nity without ihame. The truth is, that the inconveniencies o# attendance are more lamented than felt. To the greater number folicltat'ion is its own re- ward : To be fcen m good company, to tr.Ik of familiarities with men of power, to be ablv^ to tell die frefheft news, to gratify an inf.Tiour circle with predictions of cncreafe' or decline of favour 5 and to be regarded as a Candidate for high Offices, are compenfations more than equivalent to the delay of favours, which perhaps he that begs them has hardly cojir fidence to expert. "' -« ' ' ;: * A MAN confpicuous in a high ftation, who multiplies hopes that he may multiply depen-* dants, may be confidered as a beaft of prey, juftly dreaded, but eafily avoided j his den, is known, and they who would not be devour- ed, need not approach it. The great danger of the wafle of Time is from Caterpillars and Moths, who are not refifted, becaufe they arc ; r E 4 no^ f S 'in hi '* f* III it I ■ It ll % • ^ So I'he Idler. N0i4. not feared, and who work on with unheeded mifchiefs, and invifible encroachments. ,, He, whofe rank or merit procures him the notice of mankind, muft give up himfelf, in a great meafure, to the convenience or hu- mour of thofe that furround him. Evcr^ rnan, who is fick of himftlf, will fly to him for relief; he that wants to fpeak will require him to hear ; and he that wants to hear will expe<5l him to fpeak. Hour pafles after hour> the nooji fucceeds to morning, and the even- ing to noon, while a thoufand objects are forced upon his attention which he rejects as faftas they are offered, but which the cuflom of the world requires to be received with ap- pearance of regard. : .,.,._,,_. .^ If we will have the kindnefs of others, we muft endure their follies : He, who cannot perfuade himfelf to withdraw from fociety, muft be content to pay a tribute of his time to a multitude of tyrants ; to the Loiterer, who makes appointments which he never keeps; to the Confulter, who afKs advice which hs never takes j to the Boafter, who blufters only to be praifed -, to the Complainer, who ''■'■' t '* whines \ NO 14. >*-«■. Hhe Idler, 8r' whines only to be pitied ; to the Projeftor, whofe happinefs is to entertain his friends with expeiflations which dl but himfelf know to be vain ; to the Oeconomift, who tells of bargains and fettlements ; to the Politician, who prcdifts the fate of battles and breach of alliances ; to the Ufurer, who compares the difFerent funds ; and to the Talker, who talks , only becaufe he loves to be talking, r ... To put every man in pofleffion of his owit Time, and refcue the day from this fucceffion, of ufurpers, is beyond my power and beyond my hope. Yet, perhaps, fome flop might be put to this unmerciful perfecution, if all would- ferioufly refleft, that whoever pays a vifit that is not defired, or talks longer than the hearer is willing to attend, is guilty of an injury, which he cannot repair, and takes away that which he cannot give, <^, s:^^ ^..,,^^, ^:^ ' ^JilfSi -I" i '' '■'■■< t ■'■-5' •'.1 i^'e -, . .. . A • .. _^ ,, T >- 1 E5 N° H' m mm urn i If !|4U f/:?l: m f n m mi > ■■ 5 ■' I >i Bz Tie Idlkx. N^»5* « '''^/^:,-- ■^."^v'-v" €'J •': lni';'*«^^i fi ^^^^i^v'l-wH'^' N^ Jj. Saturday, July 22.^'^'' : ; ^ ;^ 7^ *>&^ IDLE R, S I R, i 4* V I HAVE* the misfortune to Be a man orBti— finefs ; that you willfay, is a moft grievous one: but what makes it the more fo to me, is, that my Wife has nothing to do : at leaif fhehad too good an Education, and the prof- pe(Si of too good a Fortune iirreverfion where I married her, to think of employing herfelf either in my fliop affairs^, or the management of my family. :'.yf» •'./:? Aiv«; !».«■,«* «; m >•.• ■ 'fft'i m i 1! IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 I.I 11.25 Uilla 12.5 ■ 10 ^^ "t 114 ^ |i£ 12.0 HMI U 111.6 ^# V^ 'i'*,'^ ♦V^ 7 Photographic Sciences Corporation 33 WIST MAIN STRUT WnSTiR.N.Y. M5«0 (716)I72-4S03 m o 4" 6^ '^ ,*lf :^ ;5^\^ L<9 HIVil wmm m 84 Tie Idler. N« i^. My Wife, I am fure, might do all the little matters our family requires^; and I could wifli that file would employ herfelf in them : but inftead of that, we have a Girl to do the work, and look after a little Boy about wo years old, which I may fairly fay is the ivio- ther's own Ghild. The Brat muft be hu- moured in every thing : he is therefore fuf- fered conftantly to play in the (hop, pull ail the goods, about, and clamber up the (helves to get at the plumbs and fugar. I dare not . corroft him J becaufe, if I did, I fhould have . V/ife and Maid both upon .me at once.- As to the latter, (he is as lazy and fluttifli as her Miftrefs J and becaufe (he complains fhe has too much work, we can fcarce get her to do any thing at all : . nay, what is worfe than that, I am afraid fhe is hardly honeft ; and as flie is entrufted to buy in all our provl^on, the Jade, I am fure, makes a market-penny out of every article. But to return to my Deary. — The even-; ings are the only time, when it is line wea- ther, that I am left to myfelfj for then fhe generally takes . the Child out i4> give it miUc in the Park. Whei\ fh^e comes home again, fhe ^ N* 15^ fTie Idlek. 85 (he is (o fatigued with walldng, that (he can- not ftir from her chair : aiid it is an hour, after (hop is fliut, before I "can get a bit of fupper, while the Maid is taken up in un* dreffing and putting the Child to bed. ;-..S V But you will pity me much more, wheil I tell you the manner in which we generally pafs our Sundfiys, In the morning fhe is com- monly too ill to drefs herfelf to goto Church; (he therefore never gets up till noon; and, what is flill more vexatious, keeps me in bed with her, when I ought to be bufily engaged in better employment. It is well if fhe can get her things on by dinner-time ; and when that is over, I am fure to be dragged out by her either to Georgia^ pr Hornfey IVood, or the JVhlte Conduit Houfe, Yet even thefe near cxcurfions are fo very fatiguing to her, that,- befides what it cofts me in Tea and hot Rolls, and Syllabubs, and Cakes for the Boy, I am frequently forced to take a Hackney-Coach, or drive them out in an OnerHorfe-Chair. At other times, as my Wife is rather of the fat-^ teft, and a very poor walker, befides bearing her whole weight upon my arm, I am obliged to carry the Child myfelf. ,- ' Thus, ..t. ■f >■ '^' ?6 fX^ iDLEft* N<»t|r; Thus, Sir, does (he conftandy drawl out her time, without either profit or fatisfa£tion; and, while I fee my neighbours Wives help- ing in the fhop, and almoft earning as much as their Husbands, I have the mortification to find, that mme is nothing but a dead weight upon me. In ihort^ I do^ not know any greater misfortune can happen to a plain hard- working Tradefman, as I am, than to be joined to fuch a; woman, who is rather a clog than an help-mate to him.. ^^ - " . ^ . ^ lam, Siiv ^ ■;i:' - Your humBfe Servant,, ]^< Zachary Treacle;. ( €- ^ tit It ■'■* i- 'i J ' : V i '^ '*.■■ ■I4 ' JfJ^^l^ JI»rtv 'fbe iDtER^ H »'v oa ■■ N^ i5*- Saturday f July 29.. T PAID a yifit yefterday to my dtd friend ;* NedDruggetf at his country lodgings. ^/ ■^ His riches neither made him uncivil nor negligent: Herofeatthe fame hour, attend- ed with the fame affiduity, and bowed with the fame gentTenefs. But for fome years he has been much inclined to talk of the fatigues of bufinefs, and the confinement of a fhop, «nd to wifh that he had been fb happy as to have renewed his uncle's Icafe of a farm, that he might have lived without noife and hurry, in a pure air, in the artlefs fociety of hondl Villagers, and the contemplation of the works •f nature, ^ --> • ' - I SOON J I i nil ^^ i6. The Id L ERi ^ gt I SOON difcovered the caufe of my friend's Philofophy. He thought himfelf grown rich enough to have a lodging in the country, like the Mercers on LudgaU-hill^ and was refolved to enjoy himfelf in the decline of life. This was a revolution not to be made fuddenl'y. He talked three years of the pleafures of the country, but pafTed every night over his own (hop. But at laft he refolved to be happy, and hired a lodging in the Country, that he may fteal fome hours in the week from bufi^ nefs; for, fays he, when a man advances m life he loves to entertain himfelf fonutimti with his own thoughts. ■■* - I WAS invited to this feat of quiet and r '^iti- templation among thofe whom Mr. Z); u^et ' confiders as his mod reputable friends, and defu-cs ta make thafirft witnefles of his ele- vation to thehighefl dignities of a Shopkeeper* I found him at IJlingtony in a room which overlooked the Wgh road, amufing himfelf with looking through the window, which the clouds- of duft would not fuffer him to open. 11^ embraced me, told me I was welcome i^ito the Country ; and afked me> If I did not feel myfel£ lefreihcd. He then defiricd n-^ft-'^ ^ ■>- '^ ■ ? .' - that ^2 Tie I D LE IT. N^ i6« that dinner might be hailened, for freih air always fharpened his appetite, and ordered me a toafl and a glafs of wine after my walk. He told me much of tjie pleafure ha found in retirement, and wondered what had kept him. fo long out oFthe Country. After dinner *• company came in, and Mr. Drugget again repeated the praifes of the Country, recom- , . mended the pleafuixs of Meditation, and told , them, that he had been all the morning at .the window, counting the carriages as they ^ .palled before him.. •' ■'^ t- -'/ 'N^ 17. Saturday » Auzuft e. X -■ 'TpHE rainy weather which has continued 'i the laft month, is (aid to have given *t great difturbance to the infpeibors of baro- ^ meters. The oraculous glafles have deceived 'their votaries j fhoWfer has fucceeded fhower, , . though they predicted funfliine and dry Ikies ; ^)?f and by fatal confidenee in thefe fallacious pro- it mifes, many coats have loft their glofs, and Imany curls been moiftened to flaccidity. •• . .■Mil ■,■.:. ',-,^- ■ - ... -...-.,,-.-,.•, ..^-..^ ThIS' >'■ , \ ind IIS K«i7.' The iDt This ER. 93 t. 9ne of the diftrefTes to which mor- tals fubjedl themfelves by the pride of fpecu- lation. I had no part In this learned difap- pointment, who am content to credit my^i fenfes, and to believe *that rain will fall when the air blackens, and that the weather will>: be dry when the fun is bright. My caution indeifd does not always preferve me from a*< fhower. To be wet may happen to the ge-*' nuine Idler^ but to be wet in oppofitlon to Theory, can befall only the IMer that pre- ^ tends to be bufy. Of thofe that fpin out life* in trifles, and die without a memorial, many:, flatter themfelves with high.opinions of their own importance, and imagine that they are every day adding fome improvement to human^ life. To be idle and to be poor have always been reproaches, and therefore every man en- deavours with his utmoft care, to hide his poverty from others^ and his Idlenefs from himfelf. .it... Among thofe whom T never could perfuade to rank themfelves with Idlers, and who fpeak? with indignation of my morning fleeps and no6turnal rambles ; one. paffes the day in catching fpiders that he lii^y count their eyes u 1 1 ?i with 9+ The Idle ft. N^ lyr with a microfcope ; another ere£^s his head, and exhibits the duft of a marigold feparated from the flower with dexterity worthy of LeetiWitihoeck himfelf. Some turn the wheel of Eleftriciry, fome fufpehd rings to a load* ftone, and £nd that what they did yefterday they can do again to-day. Some regifter the changes of the wind, and die fully convinced that the wind is changeable. There are men ye.t more profound, who have heard that two colourlefs liquors may produce a colour by union, and that two cold bodies will grow hot if they are mingled;: they iniJigle them, and produce the eiFe£^ ex- pe^ed, fay 'm is ftrange, and mingle them again. The Idlers that fport only with inanimate nature may claim fome indulgence; if they are ufel. is they are; ftiil innocent : but there arc others, whoiii I know not hxyw to men- tion without more emotion than my love of quiet willingly admits. Among the inferiour Profefibrs of medical knowleflge, is a race of wretches, whofe lives are only varied by va- xietie'^ of cruelty i whofe £%vourite amufement' ■1, ■ COfc-RJ N^ 17* Tie Idle 9.T gs U to nail dogs to tables and open them alive ; to try bow Jong life may be continued in various degrees of mutilation, or with the cxcifion or laceration of the vital parts ; to examine whether burning irons are felt more acutely by the bone or tendon ; and whether the more lading agonies are produced by poi« fon forced into the mouth or inje£ted into the veins. It is not without relu^ance that I ofFend the fenfibility of the tender mind with images like thefe. If fuch cruelties were not prac- tifed it were to be defired that they (hould not be conceived, but fince they are piibli&ed every day with oilentation, let me be allowed once to mention them, fince I mention them with abhorrence. t ,.;!-■ I of a- nt' 19 Mead has invidioufly remarked of JVood" tuard that he gathered ihells and ftones, and would pafs for a Philofopher. With preten- fions much lefs reafonable, the anatomical novice tears out the living bowels of an ani- mal, and ftiles himfelf Phyfician, prepares himfelf by familiar cruelty for Aat profeijioii' which he is to exercife upon the tender and the nil ■\ r. -'fir'. iW^ r r is I p ; ^ Tie Idle Rt N« 17. the helplefe, upon feeble bodies and broken minds, and by which he has opportunities to extend his arts of torture, and continue thofe experiments upon infancy and age, which he has hitherto tried upon cats and dogs. .*,:i*'*,,' '•'ft*- }; What is alleged in defence of thefe hate-. ; ful practices, every one knows ; but the truth 'Hs, that by knives, fire, and poilbn, know- ledge is not always fought, and is very feldom attained. The experiments that have been tried, are tried again j he that burned an ani-- mal with irons yefterday, will be willing to amufe himfelf with burning another to-mor- row. I know not, that by living difle6tions • any difcovery has been made by which a fingle malady is more eafily cured. And if the knowledge of Phyfiology has been fomewhat encreafed, he furely buys knowledge dear, \ who learns the ufe of the ladeals at the ex- . pence of his humanity. It is time that uni-J verfal refentment fhould arife againft thefe horrid operations, which tend to harden the ,- heart, extinguifli thofe fenfations which give man confidence in man, and make the Phy* ^ fician more dreadful than the gout or ftone. >/'^/,/..i*;7.- . ♦' i>\ N^ 18. A / i ■ , N<> l8. Sra^ I D L E R< *'»'tl ,T2-.''T f.>f:^';;;v .Ih > i' '.id i ; / r» ^'-i'. i » - 97 »:);;; .J- ?it^>rn^^ k "l i * . ' • •'" . ( N^ 1 8 . Saturdajy Augufi \ 2 . ''! igle the ^hy- '^ TJ /A^ IDLER.: T T commorily liappens to him who endea- vours to obtain diftin£lion by ridicule, or cenfure, that he teaches others to prailife his own arts againft himfelf, and that, after a Ihort enjoyment of the applaufe paid to his fagacity, or of the mirtli excited by his wit, he is doomed to fufFer the fame feverities of fcrutiny, to hear inquiry detefting his faults, and exaggeration fporting with his failings. '*, ■ " 1 i' '■■ ■ ^ The natural dilcontent of inferiority will feldom fail to operate in fome degree of malice againft him, who profelles to fuperintend the conduit of others, efpecially if he feats himfelf uncalled in the chair of Judicature, and exer- cifes Authority by his own conimiifion. 18. YoLf 9(« \ ( :>, N 98 Tie Idler., N** i«. You cannot, therefore, wonder that your obfervations on human folly, if they produce laughter at one time, awaken criticifm at an- other ; and that among the numbers whom you have taught to feoff at the retirement of Drugget^ there is one that offers his apology. ■' «^.».i. , -ii«wi w « n^^^jMK KMj. i ny'rfyy*"""**!"'' ■■•" «* ■' The miftake of your old friend is by no ' means peculiar. The public pleafures of far the greater part of mankind are counterfeit. Very few carry their philofophy to places of diverfion, or are very careful to analyfe their enjoyments. The general condition of life; is fo full of mifery, that we are glad to catch , delight without inquiring whence it comes,„ or by what power it is beftowed. ,^. i t. The mind is feldom quickened to very vi-, gorous operations but by pain, or the dread, of pain. We do not difturb ourfelves with the dete(Sl:ion of fallacies which do us no harnBv nor willingly decline a pleafmg effeiS^. to inveftigate its caufe. He that is happy, ^ ^ by whatever means, defires nothing but the continuance of happinefs, and is no more, follicitous todiftributehis fenfations into their ; j)ropcr fpecies, than the common gazer on . the ' ... / I D 1 ST *i. the beauties of the fpring to feparate light iiito its orginal rays. Pleasure is therefore feldom fuch as It appears to others* nor often fuch as we repre-;*^ fent it to ourfelves. Of the Ladies that fpar* * kle at a mufical performance, a very fmall number has any quick fenfibility of harmoni- . ous founds. But every one that goes has her pleafure. She has the pleafure of wearing fine cloaths, and of (hewing them, of out- fhining thofe whom fhe fufpe^s to envy her j ,, fhe has the pleafure of appearing among other . Ladies in a place whither the race of meaner • mortals feldom intrudes, and of reflecting that,... in the converfations of the next morning, her ■; name will be mentioned among thofe that fat | in the firft row; (he has the pleafure of return-r* ing courtefies, or refufmg to return them, of , receiving compliments with civility, or rejedl- ing them with difdain. She has the pleafure of meeting feme of her acquaintance, of guef- fing why the reft are abfent, and of telling them that (he faw the opera, on pretence of inquiring why they would mifs it. She has the pleafure of being fuppofed to be pleafed with a refined amufement, and of hoping to : ./ Fa be i I 100 "The Idler. n<> ig. be numbered among the votrefTes of harmony. She has the pleafure of efcaping for two hours the fuperiority of a fifter, or tlie controul of a hufband ; and from all thefe pleafures (he ODijcludes that heavenly mulick is the balm of li^, ,-41■iflsS'ai^%0^■';et^^t^^ ar^:m5t All aflemblies of gaiety are brought toge- ther by motives of the fame kind. The Theatre is not filled with thofe, that know or regard the fkill of the A£lor, nor the Ball- room, by thofe who dance, or attend to the Dancers. To all places of general refort,p. where the ftandard of pleafure is ere6led, we run with equal eagernefs, or appear- ance of eagernels, for very different rea- fons. One goes that he may fay he has ^^ been there, another becaufe he never mifles. This man goes to try what he can find, and that to difcover what others find. Whatever diverfion is coftly will be frequented by thofe who defire to be thought rich; and whatever has, by any accident, become fafhionable, eafily continues its reputation, becaufe every one is afhamed of not partaking it. ^^ -f :j|r i^;* lTo every place of entertainment we go with expedation, and defure of being pleafed ; ti we »■ "fS idt N^i8. Tie IdlVr. we meet others who are brought by the fame motives ; no one will be the firft to own the difappolntment ; one face reflects the fmile of another, till each believes the reft delighted, and endeavours to catch and tranfmit the cir- culating rapture. In time, all are deceived by the cheat to which all contribute. The fic- tion of happinefs is propagated by every tongue, and confirmed by every look, till at laft all profefs the joy which they do not feely confent to yield to the general delufion ; and when the voluntary dream is at an end, lameiit that blifs is of fo ihort a duration. If Drugget pretended to pleafureo^ of ivhicb he had no perception, or boaljbd of ^lie isunufe- ment where he was indulgbg another, what did he which is not done by all thofe who read his ftory ? of whom fome pretend delight in converfation, only becaufe they dare not be alon? - fome praife the quiet of folitude, becaufe they are envious of fenfe and impati- ent of folly ; and fome gratify their pride, by writing chraders which expofe the vanity of life. . r„ , ., r- ^t I am, Sir, -- Your humble Servant, F 3 ni' wmmmmm. mmm h ioa *^ TJbe Idler. N*.i9r .^, ^»., ^. i*f>m *,. •%* N^ 19. Saturday, Auguji 19; ■ "\ hit COME of tHofe antient Sages that have ex- ercifed their abilities in the enijairy after ihefupreme Good, have been of opinion, that J the higheft degree of earthly happinefs is Quiet i a calm repofe both of mind and body, * undifturbed by the fight of folly or the nojfe of bufinefs, the tumults of public commotion, or the agitations of private intereft j a ftate,. ''in which the mind has no other employ- inent> but to obferye and regulate .her own • motions, to trace thought from thought^ ' combine one image with . another, raife Syftems of Science, and form Theories of ■ Virtue. , ^ „ ■ , , 'V- '^ S"- '''ti(i''ivfi/i». "•■^■''i''^*^'* 'i^u^Jt'-'ift ~v^ To the Scheme of thefe foiitary opecula•^ , tifts it has been juftly obje£led, that if they are happy, they are happy only by being ufe- Icfs. That mankind is one vaft republick, where every individual receives many benefits ■■'■ ^■""'''■'* "'■■'"" ^ ,_, £ron\ '\1. n. N*' lo. Tie I D L E k. .. , loi from the labour of others, which, by labour- ing in his turn for others, he is obliged to repay; and that where the united efforts of »11 are not able to exempt all from mifery, none have a right to withdraw from their tafk of vigilance, or to be indulged in idle , wifdom or fplitary pleafures.^ _ , , It is common, for Controvertifts, in the heat of difputatioii, to add one pofition to an- other till they reach the extremities of knowledge, where truth and falfliood lofe their diftinftion. Their admirers follow them to the brink of abfurdity, and then ftart back from each fide towards the middle point. So it has happened in this great difquifltion. Many perceive alike the force of the contrary arguments, find quiet (hameful, and bufmefs dangerous, and therefoie pafs their lives be- tween them, in buflle without bufinefs, and in negligence without quiet. %in Amoi^ G the principal names of this mode- rate fet is that great Philofopher JackWhirUr^ whofe bufinefs keeps him in perpetual motion, and whofe motion always eludes his bufinefs ; who is always to do what he never docs, vvho "• F 4 cannot l\ .>/. , I I I t .^':' 104 ^he Idler. N° ig, cannot ftand ftill becaufe he is wanted in an- other place, and who is wanted in many places becaufe he ftays in none. f Jack lias more bufinefs than he can con- veniently tranfa6l in one houfe, he has there- fore one habitation near Bow-Church, and another about a mile diftant. By this inge- nious diftribution of hinifelf between two houfes, Jack has contrived to be foimd at nei- ther. Jack*s trade is extenfive, and he has many dealers ; his converfation is (pritely, and h'l When you call at his houfe, his Clerk teUs you, that Mr. tVbirler was juft ftept out, but will be at home exactly at two j yout wait at a Coffee-houfe till two, and then find that be has been at home, and is gone out again, but left word that he (hould be at the Half -moon Tavern at feven, where he hopes to meet you. At ;»-i .f 'i, N« ■ift» ^' ■w .«.< r'^ N<> 19. The Id l e r. 105 At feven you go to the Tavern. At eight in comes Mr. Whirler to tell you that he is glad to fee you, and only begs leave to run for a few minutes, to a Gentleman that lives near the Exchange^ from whom he will return be- fore fupper can be ready. Away he runs to the Exchange to tell thofe who are waiting for him, that he muft beg them to defer the bu- finefs till to-morrow, beeaufe his time is come at the Half-moon, : c- : 1 , . ^ : . . ,Uff Jack*s chearfulnefs and civility rank him • among thofc whofe prefence never gives pain, and whom all receive with fondnefs and ca- refTes. He calls often on his friends, to tell them that he will come again to-morrow ; on the morrow he comes again to tell them how an unexpe£ted fummons hurries him away* When he enters a houfe, his firft declaration is, that he cannot fit down i and fo fhort are his viflts, that he feldom appears to have come for any other reafon but to lay He muft go* ,,hi| ■i„ '^The dogs of Egypt ^ when thirff brings them to the Nile^ are faid to run as they drink for fear of the Crocodiles. Jack Whirler al- ways dines at full fpeed. He eaters, finds F 5 th» |i Ml I i ' • ft I i ? * io6 The Idler. N<> i^. the family at table, fits familiarly down, and fills his plate ; but while the firft morfel is in his mouth, hears the clock ftrJke, and rifes ; then goes to another houfe, fits down again, recolIe(5^s another engagement ; has only time to tafle the foup, makes a fhort excufe to the company, and continues thro' another fireet his defytpnrdinner. , " ♦ Ir-^rtsy But overwhelmed as he is with bufine^, his chief defire is to have flill more. Every new propofal takes pofTeffion of his thoughts, he foon ballances probabilities, engages ii> the project, brings it a}mofl to completion, and then forfakes it for another, which he catches with fome alacrity, urges with the fame vehemence, and abandons with the fame coldneis._ ,„, :^4^^fio.rnm?i^ ^^^^ ■^. :■ . *' 'Every man may be obferved to have a certain flrain of lamentation, fome peculiar theme of complaint on which he dwells in his moments of dejeftion. Jack's topic of for- row, is the want of Time. Many an excel- lent deiign languifhes in empty theory for want of Time. For the omtffion of any civi- lities, want of Time is his jilea to others > for the y ■; i y' , -* Sf' :<»!>' 71/ i ^ 1 'ixxi: 'T* 80s' 19- The IDLER*^ 107 neglc£l of any affairs, want of Time is his cxcufe to himfelf. That he wants Time he (incerely believes; for he once pined away ^ tnany months with a lingering diftemper, for want of Time to Attend his health. . a Thus Jaek Wfftrter lives m~ perpetual fa- tigue without proportionate ?idvantage, be- caufe he does not coiifider that no man can fee all with his own eyes, or do all with his own hands $ that whoever is engaged in multipli* city of bufinefs muft tranfa£t much by fubfti- tution, and leave fomething to hazard ; and that he who attemjpts to db,all^ will wafte his tife in doing little.' "» *'" " ' ' ' ^ " -Djtt h(m^^*'^^'-t^^ ^ifcjj^iTlj' wcl aid f iT ', -r*?»w rrtaia#ifti*-.{ \'jMim n'>i^i'i -"a^ ^'V^'*^-*"*. , #: 7JU>» .V f .f' i.i. ;,•:;»>» F 6 ■ ' N? 20. ^ r i ■ > loa Tie Idler.. N<>-2o- . ri 5j J a , ■ ■ I #1 1 1 J N^ 20. Saturday, Auguft 26. 'TPHERE IS no crime more infamous than the violation of Truth. It fs apparent that men can be focial Beings no longer thaiv Ihey believe each other. When fpeech is em- ployed only as the vehicle of falfhood, every fnan muft difunite himfelf from others, inhabit his own cave, and feek prey only for himlelf. Yet the I^w of Truth, thus facred" and' nc- ceflary, is broken "without punifhment, with- out cenfure, in compliance with inveterate prejudice and prevailing paffions. Men are willing to credit vrhat they wifh, and encou- rage rather thofe who gratify them whh plea- fure, than thofe that inftruft ^em whh ^- delity. -^ ^ 5 I v!-'^ is \ FdR this reafon every Hiftorian difcovers kis country, and it is impoffible to read the . . . ► " . . different N» 20. ^be J D L E ». 109 different accounts of any great event, without a wiih that Truth had more power over par^ tiality. .m>:,/-,..»- : - '■ - . . -- j, -, .-.(;-: v. ,,:-.'w.'u. vVMinii^a^.:. .. " . ■,;i£i|;Kfi.^ci;^| «•*!:* \ ..: Amidst the jqy of my countrymen for the acquifuion of Louijbourg^ I could not forbear to confider how differently this revolution of American power is not only now mentioned by the contending nations, but, will be repre>- fcntcd by the Wiiters of another Century* i« ' ' The EngUJh Hiftorian will imagine htmfelf barely doing juftice to EngUJhy'irtvjt^ when he relates the capture of Louijbourg in the follo'^ ing manner. Js?4 -1 to« TiiB Englijh had hitherto ften, with great ind^natron, their attempts baffled and their force defied by an enemy, whom they confidered themfelves as intitled to conquer by the right of prefcription, and whom many ages of hereditary fuperiority had taught them to defpife. Their Fleets were more i.umcrousj and their Seamen braver than thofc of Frana, yet they only floated ufelefs on the Ocean, and the French derided them from their Ports. Misfortunes,, as is uiual, pw with that caution which cowards borrow from fear and attribute to policy, elud- ed our fleets, and fent into that port five great ihips and fix fmaller, of which they funk four ^ in the mouth of the paflage, having raifed batteries, and pofled troops at sdl the places, • where they thought it poffible to make a def- cent. The EngUJhy however, had more to dread from the roughnefs of the fea, than from the fkill or bravery of the defendants. Some and with lefs by the enemy. In a few days the artillery was landed, the batteries were raifed, and the French had no other hope than to efcape from one pofl to arother. A (hot from the batte- ries fired the powder in one of their largefl ihips, the flame fpread to the two next,, and all three were deflroyed ; the Englijh Admiral fent his boats againft the two large fhips yet remaining, took them without refiftance, and terrified the garrifon to an immediate capi- tulation.*^. .- * * - .^ — > '-' -^ -- * v - ' Let h\ Mi I I 112 ^he Id l e r. N*'2o* :>a> Let US now oppofe to this Englijh narra- tive the relation which will be produced, about die fame time, by the writer of the age of J, ; *' About this time the £«^/j^ admitted to the condud): of affairs, a Man v/ho undertook J to iave from deftrudion that ferocious and turbulent people, who, from the mean info* lence of wealthy Traders, and the lawlefs con- fidence of fuccefsful Robbers, were now funk in defpair and ftupiiied with horror. He call- ed in the fhips which had been difperfed over the Ocean to guard their Merchants, and fent a fleet and an army, in which almoft the whole ftrength of England was comprifed, to fecure their pofleffions in America^ which were endangered alike by the French arras and the French /irtue. We had taken the Englijh fortrefles by force, and gained the Indian Nations by humanity. The Englijh^ wherever they come, are fure to- have the na- tives for their enemies 5 for the only motive of their fettlements is avarice, and the only eonfequence of their fueceis is oppreffion. In this war they a«Sled like other Barbarians, and, with a degree of outrageous cruelty,, which f i N^2o. Tie Idler. 113 the gentlenefs of our manners fcarce fufFers us to conceive, offered rewards by open pro- clamation to thofe who fhould bring in the fcalps of Indian women and children. A Trader always makes war with the cruelty of a Pirate. / - , ** They had long looked with envy and with terror upon the influence which the French exerted over all the Northern Regions of -^»2^r/Vfl by the pofTeffion of Louijhourg, a place naturally ftrong, and new fortified with fome flight outworks. They hoped to furprize the garrifon unprovided; but that fluggifh- nefs which a:lways defeats their malice, gave^ us .time to fend fupplies, snd to Nation (hips for the defence of the harbour. They came before Louijbourg in June^ and were for fome time in doubt whether they fhould land. But the Commanders, who had lately feen an Admiral beheaded for not having done what he had not power to do, durft not leave the place unaffaulted. An Englijhman has no ardour for honour, nor zeal for duty ; he nei- ther values glory nor loves his King; bat ba- lances one danger with another, and will fight rather than be hanged. They therefore liuided, nil) J: 1 I I It n'4 ne I0 L E R. N<* 20, landed, but with great lofs ; their Engineers had, in the laft war with the French^ learned fomething of the Military Sciences, and 'made their approaches with fufRcient (kill, 'but all their efforts had been without efFedt had not a ball unfortunately fallen into the .powder of one of our.fhips, which communi- cated the fire to the reft, and by opening the pafTage of the harbour, obliged the garrifon ^ to capitulate. Thus was Louijbourg loft, and our troops marched out with the ad- miration of their enemies, who durft hardly ■ think themfelves mafters of the place*^** ..r^> ■ "' A'- • V ••••;■' ■*■-' • ■■• t^Hf'-l '^r■■■•. r. '( >•, .'^ < .1: ,fcfv!:*i ?"d .i-y^ : 2>^tfr ^r. I D L £ Ry , 'T^HERE is afpecies of mifery or of difeafcy for which our language is commonly fuppofed to be without a name, but which I think is emphatically enough denominated , Ltftlejfnefsy and which is commonly termed^ a ,.want of fomethingtodo. ;,^j .r,;^iwr«. > . . Of the unhappinefs of this ftate I do not expeiS): all your readers to have an adequate idea. Many are overburthened with bufmefs, and can imagine no comfort but in reft j many have minds fo placid as willingly to indulge a voluntary lethargy ; or fo narrow, as eafily to be filled to their utmoft capacity. By thefe I fhall not be underftood, and therefore cannot be pitied. Thofe only will fympathize with my complaint, whofe imagination is adive and f 1 ! I ; ^y li6 Tie Idler. N<^2r- and refolution weak, whofe deiires are ardent, and whofe choice is delicate j who cannot fatisfy themfelves with {landing ftill, and yet • cannot find a motive tO"^re<5t their courfe.* , . I WAS the feconrf fon of a. Gentleman, whofe eftate was barely fufficTent to fupport Wmfelf and his heir in the dignity of killing game. He therefore made ufe of the intereft which the alliances of his family afforded him, to procure me a pofl in the Army. I paiTed fome years in the moft contemptible of all hu-. man flations, that of a Soldier in time bf Peace. I wandered with the regiment as the quarters were changed, without opportunity for bufinefs, tafte for IrKc^^Aed^^ or money pleafure. Wjierever I came I was for time a ftranger withoi t curiofity, and afterwards an acquaintance without friendfhip. Having nothing to hope in thefe places of fortuitous refidence I refigncd my conduiS to chance j I had no intention to offend, I had no ambiti- on to delight. ^ ^*'' ^* ^^ « ^mam^ y -.^ ant-i^* I SUPPOSE every man is fhocked when ho hears how frequently Soldiers are wifliing for Wai-. The wifh is not always fincere, the ;■ ■ ijiii-' greater i - 1 N** 21- The Idle rI 117 greater pjirtar^ content with fleep and lace, and counterfeit an ardour which they do not feel J but thofe who defire it moft, are neither prompted by malevolence nor patriotifm j they neither pant for laurels, nor delight in blood ; but long to.be delivered from the tyranny of idlenefs, and rcftored to the dignity of a^ivc beings. ■ o.» -^-^t/?:''?!! I NEVER imagined myfelf to have more courage than other men, yet was often invo- luntarily wifhing for a war, but of a war at that time I had no profpedl j and being ena- bled, by the death of an uncle, to live without my pay, I quitted the army, and refolved to regulate my own motions. '\ WAS pleafed, for a while, with the novelty of independence, and imagined that I had now found what every man defires. My time was in my own power, and my habitation was wherever my choice fhould fix it. I amufed myfelf for two years, in pafling from place to place, and com pari ngone convenience with an- other ; but being at laft afhamed of enquiry, and weary of uncertainty, I purchafed a houfe, and eftabliftied my family. I NOW i' - l\ \ \ i h ii8- ^ht Idler. N« ai. I NOW expecEled to begin to be happy, and was happy for a (hort time, with that expect- ation. But I foon perceived my fpirits to fubflde, and my imagination to grow dark. The gloom thickened every day round me. I wondered by what malignant power my peace was blafted, till I difcovered at laA that I had nothing to do. " - .i^m' Time with all its celerity, moves flowly to him, whofe whole employment is to watch its flight. I am forced upon a thoufand fhifts to enable me to endure the tedioufnefs of the day. I rife when I can fleep no longer, and take my morning walk j I fee what I have feen before, and return. I fit down and perfuade myfelf, that I fit down to think, find it impof- fible to think without a fubjeiSt, rife up to en- quire after news, and endeavour to kindle in myfelf, an artificial impatience for intelligence of events, which will never extend any confe- qi^ence to me, but that a few minutes they ab- ilra6t me from myfelf. , . . > When I have heai-d 'any thing that may gratify curiofity, I am bufied for a while, in running to relate it. I haflen from one place ': of ■•? . ! i.-1 i t N^'ai. "the I D L E R. -^ II9. of concourfe to another, delighted with my own importance, and proud to think that I am doing fomething tho* I know that another hour would fpare my labour. -i.-jj'vrV j'j* I HAD once a round of vifits, which I paid ' very regularly, but I have now tired moft of rcvj friends. When I have fat down I forget to rife, and have more than once over-heard one afking another when I would be gone. I perceive the company tired, I obferve the miftrefs of the family whifpering to her fer- vants, I find orders given to put ofFbufmefs till to-morrow, I fee the watches ' frequently in-^ fpedted, and yet cannot withdraw to the vacu- ity of folitude, or venture myfelf in my own '. « company. - ^"-ju^— ■,-►.» 1 i^.v* Thus burthenfome to my myfelf and o- thers, I form many fchemes of employment which may make my life ufeful or agreeable, and exempt me from the ignominy of living by fuiFerance. This new courfe I have long deftgned but have not yet begun. The pre- fent moment is never proper for the change, but there is always a time in view when all obftacles will be removed, and I fhall furprize .,,. ^...: ,:... .: . . . all ^ 'i ' lit". TW^mryiT ~ J.i 120 The Idler. n^ 21. that know me with a new ^iftribution of my time. Twenty years have paft fmce I have refolved a complete amendment, and twenty years have been loft in delays. Age is coming upon me, and I (hould look back with rage and defpair upon the wafte of life, but that I am now beginning in earneft to begin a re- formation. _;^;-U,,,^ ...jIj -;-i:n,/Yo:i Vn-- /i U ; 'j I'' Your humtle Servant, ,» : .^;'!---"V' ^^SP^^^ Linger, ., ^i ... ;, ,, ..- 'iK%^^ - ^>, # . • ■ >r ■■■••: 1 ■.■',''' ■ ' ■" * N? 22. Saturday y September 16. L^fi."' .Kl;. -.::.. r :<, : I I- ^^'•'?^'-:iii I am, Sir, &c« J ■ i'---f,' K<> 23. ■\y: 126 .t;^^ Idler. N*» 23. ff j:-. ^.T'Vt N^ 23. Saturday y September 23. -^ I \ T 1 F E has no pleafure higher or nobler than that of Frendftiip. It is painful to con- fi Jer, that this fublime enjoyment may be im- paired or deflro} ed by innumerable caufes, and that tl^ere is no human pofleffion of which the duration is lefs certain, mmm'i- ;^o ^ ;*? a* •' Many have talked, in very exalted lan- guage, of the perpetuity of Friendfiiip, of in- ; vincible Conftartcy, and unalienable Kindnefs; and fome examples have been fecn of men who have continued faithful to their earlieft choice, and whofe affection has predominat- ed over changes of fortune, and contrariety of opinion. .4.-,-. -r* -i»»%* •Kt«,Wi> y^«^s •OS--""- > But thefe inftances are memorable^ becaufe they are rare. The Friend{h;p which is to be pra^-»' J. " ^' Man Vacaden'ts therefore may happen, by which the ardour of kindiieis will be abated, without. criminal bafenefs or contemptible m- conftancy on either part. To give plealure . is not always in our power ; and little does he know himfelf, who believes that he can be always able to receive it. ^^"^^ '*;""^' <"^*- -V* ''- Those who would gladly pafs their days together may be fcparated by the different courfe of their affairs ; and Friendftiip, like ■ Love, is deflroyed by long abfence, though it mny'be em reaftd by fliort inter millions. What we have miffed long enough to want it, we ^r^ more when it is regained ; but thatwhich Ikii ■ iien loft till it is forgotten, will be found at laii with little gladnefs, and with ftill lefs, if a fubftitute has fupplied the place. A man deprived of the companion to whom he ufed * to open his bofom, and with whom he fhared ' the hoL'rs of Iclfure and merriment, feels the day at firft hanging heavy on him ; his difficult tics opprefs, and his doubts diftra(5l him ; he fees time come and go without his wonted G 4 gratifica- i 4 ■ i' 128 Tie Idler. N<> 2^. gratification, and all is fadnefs within and fo- litude about him. But this uneafinefs never lafts long, neceflxty produces expedients, new amufements. are difcoveied, and new conver- fation is admitted. "ll , -^ I No exj.4 von is more frequently difap-* pointed, than .iiat which naturally arifes in the mind, from the profpe^l of meeting an old Friend, after long feparation. We cxpe6l the attra--L-: 90^^ N*' 23. The Idler. 129 known to the mind upon which they operate. There is fcarcely any man without fome fa- • vourite trifle which he values above greater attainments, fome defire of petty praife which he cannot patiently fuffer to be fruftrated. This minute ambition is fometime^ eroded before it is known, and fometimes defeated b^^ wanton petulance ; but fuch attacks are fel- dom made without the lofs of Friendftiip j for whoever has once found the vulnerable part will always be feared, and the refentment will burn on in fecret of which fhame hindecs the difcovery. •A ^,_: This, however, is a flow malignity, which a wife man will obviate as inconfiftent with quiet, and a good man will reprefs as contrary to virtue ; but human happinefs is fometimes violated by fome more fudden ftrokes., v- * - A DISPUTE begun in jeft, upon a fubje^l which a moment before was on both parts re- garded with carelefs indifference, is continued by the defire of conqueft, till vanity kindles into rage, and oppofition rankles into enmity. Againtt this hafty mifchLef I know not what fecurity can be obtained ; men will be fome-» ^ S times * > (i 130 ne Idler. N*' 23. times furprized into quarrels, and though they "light both haften to reconciliation, as foon as their tumult had fubfided, yet two minds will feldom be found together, which can at once Aibdue their difcontent, or immediately enjoy the fweets of peace, without remembring the wounds of the conflidl. ;if ifl*l: jV-y':£^i ^ f .*V-,.» J- ,. .^.<,'. *■-* ».-..*i'pliancc had been exacted. *.. The moft fatal difeafe of Friendfhip is gra^ dual decay, or diflike hourly encreaied by caufes too flender for complaint, and too nu- merous for removal. Thofe who are angry may be reconciled ; thofe who have been in- jured may receive a recompence j but when the 1 %-.r.' .•N<'24. The Idle'r. '131 '» defire of pleafing and willingnefs to be pleaded is filently diminiflied, -the renovation of Friendfhip is hopelefs ; as, when the vital ■ powers fink into languor, there is no longer ^ any ufe of the Phyfician. Wi-^4- ^<^twday^ September 30. «.! ..r-< , VXZHEN man fees one of the inferior ,vJ creatures perched upon a tree, or bafk- . ing in the fun£hing, without any apparent endeavour or purfuit, he often afks himfelf, or his companion. On what that animal can It Juppofedto be thinking F A ^ Jyi /> V" 44 )^il . Of this queflion, fmce neither bird nor bead . can anfwer it, we muft be content to live without the refolution^ "VVe know not how ^uch the brutes recollect of the paft, or an- ticipate of the future j what power they have of comparing and preferring ; or whether tiieir . faculties may not rcfl '\x\ motionlefs indifrer- . ence, till they arc moved by the prefcnce of G 6 their mmmm II J 32 TAe I PL E R. N« 14. their proper obje£^ or flimulated to a^ by corporal ieniations. i■ A , I AM the lefs inclined to th'efe fuperfluous inquiries, becaufe I have always been able to find Aifficient matter for curiofity in my own fpecies. It is ufelefs to go far in queft of that which may be found at home ; a very narrow circle of obfervation will fupply a fufllcient number of men and women, who might be afked with equal propriety. On what they can Jbf thinking? , It is reafonable to believe, that Thought, like every thing elfe, has its cauies and effe^s; that it muft proceed from fomething kjiown, done, or fufieredj and muft produce feme action or event. Yet how great is the num- ber of thofe in whofe minds no fource x^ Thought has ever been opened, in whofe life no confequencc of Thought is ever difcover- ed; who have learned nothing upon which they can refleifc ; who have neither feen nor felt any thing which could leave its traces on |he memory 5 who neither forefee nor defire any change of their condition, and have i' v ihcrefbr? V N*>24- ^he Idler. 133 therefore neither fear, hope, nor defigni and yet are fuppofed to be thinking beings. To every a£l a fubjed is required. He that thinks, muft think upon fomething. But tell me, ye that pierce deepeft into Nature, ye that take the wideft furvc3rs of life, inform me, kind Shades of Malbrancht and of Lickiy what that (bmething can be, which excites and continues Thought in Maiden Aunts with fmall fortunes ; in younger Bro- thers that live upon Annuities ; in Traders re- tired from Bufinefs ; in Soldiers abfent from their Regiments^ or in Widows that have no Children \ ^^' '^^'^ ''-^ ■^''^ -T^m^mMbtr-^^'. n Life is commonly confidered as either a£tive or contemplative ; but furely this di- vifion, how long foever it has been received, is inadequate and fallacious. There are mortals whofe life is certainly hot active, for they do neither good nor evil, and whofe life cannot be properly called contemplative j for they never attend either to the condu(ft of men, or the works of Nature, but rife in the morn- ^ig, look round them till night in carelefs flu- H II 134 Mhe Idler. N** 24. pidity, go to bed and fleep, and rife again in the morning, jv^e^iir;: -A o: • /:a;^i^: ' ' •.»»^ /. • It has been lately a celebrated queftion in the fchools of philofophy, Whether the Soulal' ways thinks ? Some have defined the Soul to be the power of thinkings concluded that its eflence confifts in a6l ; that if it ftiould ceafe to a6t, it would ceafe to be ; and that ceflatiqn of Thought is but another name for extin ry winds, ^ { '♦■"?:;(.•;' But how frequent toevcr may be the ex- amples of exiftenct without Thought, it is certainly a ftate not much to be defired, H^ that lives in torpid infenfibility, wants npthing of a carcafe but putrefaction. It is the part of every inhabitant of the earth to partake the pains and pleafures of his fellow Beings ; and, as in a road through ^ country defart and uniform, the traveller languiflies for w^ant of amufement j fo the paflage of life will be te- dious and irkfome to him who docs not be- guile it by diverfified ideas. : I • V J it, ^fi^f'V ^..>.. .., ... ...-.1^,.. - i/.. », / J.. V' .' ■ -J. t ^, . ■ . ,■ a .. ■ , '■ . ■ • - _ - . . ■ » V ;", N« is- The Idler. >»- 137 Vi * N^ 25. Saturday, OSiober 7. ./ ^ r9 th9 IDLER. « T AM a very conftant frequenter of ^he ' Playhoufe, a place to which I fuppofe * the Wtr not much a ftranger, fince he can * have no where elfe fo much entertainment, * with fo little concurrence of his own endea- ^ vour. At all other a{Iemblies> he that cornea * to receive delight, will be expected to give < it ; but in the Theatre, nothing is necei&ry ^ to the amufement of two hours, but to fit ^ down and be willing to be pleafed» < The laft we*»k has offered two new A£l~ * ors to the the town. The appearance and * retirement of A£lors, are the great events of * the theatrical world ; and their firft per- * formances fill the pit with conjecture and * prognoftication, as the firft a£tions of a new < MpiiarCh agitate nations with hope or fear. * What Ill I' I il 4^*MMK 138 The Idler. N** 25. ' What opinion I have for .ned of the fu- * tare excellence of thefe candidates for dra- ' matic glory, it is not neceTary to declare. I Their entrance gave me a higher and nobler ^ pleafure than any borrowed chara(5ter can '.afford. I faw the ranks of the Theatre ' emulating each other, in candour and hu- * maiiity, and contending, who fhould moft * effedually aflift the ftruggles of '^ndeavour, '* diifipate the bluih of diffidence, and ftill the 'flutter of timidity. " '^ ' :i:: ^ I i ( ' This behaviour is fuch as becomes a peo- ' pie, too tender to reprefs thofe who wifh to ' pleale, too generous to infult thofe who can ' make no refiftance. A publick Performer is < fo much In the poWer of fpeftators, that all ' unnecefTary feverity is reftrained by that ' general lav/ of humanity which forbids us to ' be cruel where there is nothing to be feared. ' 'In every new Performer fomething mufl * be pardoned. No man can, by any force of * refolution, fecure to himfelf the full pofref*- « fion of his own powers, under the eye of a * large afTembly. Variation of gefture, and ■* -• '^ .. .r^i,^.^..,.> . 'flexion N**25- TX^ Idler. '139 * flexion of voice, are to be obtained only by * experience. !* ■If, h; rfv )%:» * There is nothing for which fuch num- ' bers think themfelves qualified as for thea- ' trical exhibition. Every human being has ' an action graceful to his ov/n eye, a voice * mufical to his own ear, and a fenfibility * which Nature forbids him to know that any ' * other bofom can excel. An art in which ; * fuch numbers fancy thenkfelves excellent, ; ' and which the Publick liberally rewards, * will excite many competitors, and in many ^ * attempts there muft be many mifcarriages. ' ; ,< ■, ,- ... ♦►■.. ..■ V s,.- V ,v-j'»«-" -> -• ■ -i. I ' ' ■' < The care of the Critic ftiould be to •:■ < diftinguifh error from inability, faults of in- : ' experience from defe£ls of nature. Ac- ' tion irregular and turbulent may be reclaim- • * ed ; vociferation vehement and confufed may f * be retrained and modulated ; the ftal!' of c * the tyrant may become the gait of a man ; ' the yell of inarticulate diftrefs may be re- * duced to human lamentation. All thefe * faults (hould be for a time overlooked, and * afterwards cenfured with gentlenefs and * candour. But if in an Adior there appears an i . ' utter y\ ,J4o TAe Idler. N*' 25. • uttef vacancy of meaning, a frigid equality, • a ftupid languor, a torpid apathy, the great- ' eft kindnefs that can be {hewn him, is a • fpeedv- ^i>twefi Qf exDulfion. - - '^^ » -kr^ ;:.a.if lam, Su,&c,- . -'.'ii .\: i ih:> The plea, which my Correfpondent has offered for young A6lors, I am very far from wifhing to invalidate. I always confidered thofe combinations which are fometimes form- fid in the Playhoufe as z€ts of fraud or of cruelty ; he that applauds him who does not deferve praife, is endeavouring to deceive the . publick ; he that hi0es in malice or fpcrt, is an opprellbr and a robber. , . , . . . , ~" '\^-t-. 'Yiif::; ■'■'-.<.. I Bin* Airely this laudable forbearance might be juftly extended to young Poets. The art cf the Writer, like that of the Player, is attain- ed by flow degrees. The power of diftin- guifhing and difcriminating comic characters, or of filling Tragedy with poetical images, muft be the gift of Nature, which no inftruc- tion nor Ubovr can fupply ; but the art of dramatic difpoAtion, the contexture of the fcenes, the oppofition of characters, the invo- lution of the plotj the expedients of fufpenfion, .. . *' and :r> ■ s^VJ' II I . It rt N*25i ne Idler. t^t and the ilratagems of furprize, are to be learn* cd by practice ; and it is cruel to difcourage a Poet for ever, becaufe hfe has not from ge- nius what only experience can beftow. ^j ^ • * ■ " >■■// Life is a flage. Let me likewife foUicit candour for the young A6lor on the ftage of life. They that enter into the world are too often treated with unreafonable rigour by thofo that were once as ignorant and heady as them- felves, and diftin^^ion is not always made be^ tween the faults which require fpcedy and violent eradication, and thofe that will gra- dually drop away in the progreflion of life. Vicious folicitations of appetite, if not clc* ed, will grow more importunate, and mean arts of profit or ambition will gather (Irength in the mind if they are not early fupprefled. But miftaken notions of fuperiority, defires of ufelefs (how, pride of little accomplifhments, and all the train of vanity, will be bruflied a- way by the wing of time. Reproof fliould not exhauft it& power upon petty failings, let it watch diligently a- gainft the incurfion of vice, and leave foppery and futulity to die of themfelves* NO 26, ^9 if- IA2, "The I D. L E R.\i N<* 26. N® 26. Saturday, 06loBer 14. ^r. Idler, * "^ i^V ♦} ' \ T NEVER thought that I (hould write any thing to be printed ; but having lately feen yOur firft EfTay, virhich was fent down into the kitchen, with av great bundle of Ga- ;tettes and ufelefs papers, I find that you. are willing to admit any correfpondent, and there- fore hope you will not reje6l me. Jf you publifti my letter, it may encourage others, in the fame condition with myfelf, to tell their Stories, which may be perhaps as ufeful as thofe of great Ladies. - - ' I AM a poor girl. I was bred in the coun- try at a charity fchool, maintained by the contributions of wealthy neighbours. The Ladies our Patronefles vifited us from time to time, examined how we were taught, and faw tiiat our doaths were clean. \Vc lived hap- I N<>.26. ne Idler. 143 pily enough, and weceinftrudted to be thank- ful to thofe at whofe coft we were educated. I was always the favourite of my.Miflrefs j" Ihe ufed to call me to read and fhew my copy- book to all grangers, who never difmifled ma without commendation, and veyy fcldom vnfi^h* out a ■•/Lt y^'-ixi^ At laft the chief of our Subfcribers havin »■ pafled a winter in London^ came down full of an opinion new and ftrange to the whole country. . She. held it little le(s than criminal to teach poor girls to read and write. They who are born to poverty, fhe faid, are born to Ignorance, and will work the harder the lefs they know. She told her friends, that London was in confufion by the infolence of fervants, that fcarcely a wench was to be got for all work^ fmce education had made fuch numbers of fine Ladies, that nobody would now accept a lower title than that of a Waiting MaiJ, or fomething that might qualify her to wear laced fhoes and long ruffles, and to fit at work in the parlour window. But fhe was refolved, for her part, to fpoil no more girls j thofe who were to live by their hands (hould. neither read noi* wrfte out of her pocket j the world was I " •■" wwmm^i^rf^ii^fif^it^m^m^mmmi^mm .^•■■•^^ ll . was bad enough already, and fhe would havd no part in making it worfe. She was for a fliort time warmly oppofed r Ibut fhe pcrfevcred in her notibns, and with-^ iJfew her (abfcription. Few liften without a( defure of conviction to thofe who advife thent to fpaie their money. Her example and her arguments gained ground daily, and in leik than a year the whole parish was convinced, that the nation would be ruined if the children ©f the poor were taught to read and write. y. Our fchool was now diflblved; my mift trefs kifled me when we parted, and told me, that, being old and helplefs, (he could not af- fift me, advifed me to feek a fervice, and charged me not to forget what I had learned. ' My reputation for fcholarfhip, which had hitherto recommended me to favour, was, by the adherents to the new opinion, coniidered as a crime ; and, when I offered myfelf toany miflrefs, I had no other anfwer, than, Sure^ chiidy you would noi work ; hard work is not Jit for a penwotnan ; a fcruhhlng^hrujh would fpotl your handy child I ■ 'I ' > ' " ■ V I COUtD \ v/ N*' 26. ^he I D L E R. 145 I COULD not live at home ; and while I was confidering to what I fhould betake me, one of the girls, who had gone from our fchool to Londvn, came down in a filk gown, and told, her acquaintance how well (he lived, what fine things (he faw, and what great wages flie received. I refolved to try my fortune, and took my pafiage in the next week's wag- gon to London, I had no fnares laid for me at my arrival, but came fafe to a fifter of my miftrefs, who undertook to get me a place. She knew only the families of mean Tradef- men ; and I, having no high opinion of my own qualifications, was willing to accept the firft offer. My firft Miftrefs was wife of a work- ing Watchmaker, who earned more than was fufficient to keep his family in de- cency and plenty, but it was their conftant practice to hire a chaife on Sunday^ and fpend half the wages of the week on Rtchmond^Hill\ of Monday he commonly lay half in bed, and fpent the other half in merriment; Tuefday and Wednefday confumed the reft of his money; and three days every week were pafTed in ex- tremity of want by us who were left at home, ij while f^T h ■•f^:- 146 Tie Idler. N^' 26. while my Mafter lived on truft at an alehoufe^ You may be fure that of the fufFerers the maid fufFered moft, and I left them, after three months, rather than be ftarved. V I WAS then maid to a Hatter's wife. There was no want to be dreaded, for they lived in perpetual luxury. My Miftrefs was a diligent woman, and rofe parly in the morning to fet the journeymen to work ; my "Mafter was a man much belched by his neighbours, and fat at one club or other every night. I was o- bilged to wait on my Mafter at night, and on my Miftrefs in the morning. He fcldoni came home before two, and fhe rofe at five. J could no mOTe live without fleep than with- out food, and therefore entreated them to look f)ut for another fervant. - My next removal was to a Linen Draper's, who had fix children. My Miftrefs, when I flrft entered the houfe, informed me, that I muft never contradict the children, nor fufFer them to cry. I had no defire to offend, and readily promifed to do my beft. But when I gave them their breakfaft I could not help all ^rft J when I was playing with one in my lar I was forced to keep the reft in expe': •t V :::J.t Those who are in the power of evil habits, muft conquer them as they can, and conquer- ed they muft be, or nfltiier wifdom nor hap- pinefs can be attained ; but thofe who are not yet fubjecSl to their influence, may, by timely caution, preferve their freedom, they may. efl'edually ^ ». 7 y N^28. T/3^ Idler. efFetftually refolve to efcape the tyrant, whom they will very vainly refolve to conquer. N° 28. Saturday, Oofober 28. ♦- *;i > 7^ //;^ IDLER.. J^^J^ •i T'F is very (eafy for a man wlio fits lille at' home, and has no body to pleafc but him- fclf, to ridicule or to cenfurs the conim'on praflices of mankind ; and thofe who have" no pr^fent temptation to break the rules of propriety, may applaud his judgment, and join in his merriment ; but let the Author or his Readers mingle with common life, they will find themfelves irrefiftibly born away by the ftream of cuftom, and mult fuhmit, aftfr' they have laughed at others, to give oihcrs the. fame opportunity ot laughing at them.. ■ "Thf.re is no' "paper publifhcd by 'the Jdicr which I have read with more approbati- ' ' ^^ 5 on ' 11 ' 154^ 7X^ Id L E R. N<» 28. ©n than that which cenfures the praaice of recording vulgar Marriages in the News-pa- pers. I carried it about in my pocket, and read it to all thofe whom I fufpeded of having publifhed their Nuptials, or of being inclined to publifh them, and fent tranfcripts of it to all the couples that tranfgreffed your precepts for the next fortnight. I hoped that they were all vexed, and pleafed myfelf with ima- gining their mifery, .. . : . ; ,^ Vw. ■ - -V V it ^1, '. ■ ^ -. ' ., ■ - ** But fhort is the triumph of malignity. I was married laft week to Mifs Mohair\hc daughter of a Salefman, and at my firft ap- pearance after the wedding night, was alked ■by. my Wife's Mother, whether I had fent ^^ our marriage to the Jdvertifer ? I endeavour- ed to fhew how unfit it was to demand the attention of the Publick to our domeftick af- fairs J but (he told me, with great vehemence, *' That flie would not have it thought to be «' a ftolen match ; that the blood or the Mo- ** hairs fhould never be difgraced ; that her ** Hufband had ferved all the Parifh Offices *• but one ; that fhe had lived five and thirty ** years at the fame houfe, had paid every •* body twenty (hillings in the pound, and "would N°28. The Idler. 155 *< would have me know, tho' ftic was not as *^ fine and as flaunting as Mrs. Ginghum the " Deputy's Wife, {he was not aftiamed to tell " her name, and would (hew her face with " the beft of them, and fince I had married " her Daughter — " At this inftant entered my Father in Law, a grave man, from whom I expected fuccour; but upon hearing the cafe he told me, " That it would be very impru- " dent to mifs fi|ph an opportunity of adver- " tifing my fhop ; and that when notice was *' given of my marriage, many of my Wife's " friends would think themfelves obliged to " be my Cuftomers." I was fubdued by cla- mour on one fide, and gravity on the other, and fhall be obliged to tell the to vn, that three days ago^ Timothy Mufhroom, an emi^ nent Oilman in Sea-Coal Lane, was married io Mifs Polly Mohair of Lothbury, a beauti-^ ful yowig Lady with a large fortune. ' ' ' I am, Sir, Sec' i» " S I ir^ " T AM the unfortunate Wife of the Gro- cer whofe letter you publifhed about ten weeks ago, in which he complains, like ^ forry fellow, that I loiter in the (hop with my i . H 6 needle- if 156 ^^he Idler. N** 2S. needle- work in my hand, and that I oblige him to take me out on Sundays^ and keep a Girl to look after the Child. Sweet Mr. Idkry if you did but know all, you would give no encouragement to fuch an unreafonable grumbkr. I brought him three hundred pounds, which fet him up in a fhop, and bought in a ftoclc on which with good ma- nagement we might live comfortably, but now I have given him a fh«p, I am forced to watch him and the fliop too. I will tell you, Mr. Idler, how it is. There is an Alehoufe over the way with a Ninepin Alley, to which he is fure to run when I turn my back, and there lofes his money, for he plays at nine- pins as he does every thing elfe. While he is at this favourite fport, he fets a dirty Boy to watch his door, and call him to his cuftom- crs, but he is long in coming, and fo rude when he comes, that our cuftom falls off e- very day. ^. . . ** Those who cannot govern themfelves muft be governed. I have refolved to keep him for the future behind his counter, and let him bounce at his cuflomers if he dares. I cannot be above flairs and belovy at the fame , . time, I ! ^ "^ y ■ ". mt-i.y^ NO 28r. 3^^ I D L E R. 157 time, and have therefore taken a girl to look after the Child and drefs the dinner 3 and*, after all, pray who is to blame ? ^- *' On a Sunday^ it is true, T make him walk abroad, and fometimes carry the child ; I wonder who (hould carry it ! but I never take him out till after church timcy nor would do it then, but that if he is let alone, he will be upon the bed. On a Sunday^ if he ftays at home, he has fix meals, and when he can cat no longer, has twenty ftratagems to efcape from me to the Alehoufe ; but I commonly keep the' door locked, till Monday produces fomething for him to do, *' This is the true ftate of the cafe, and thefe are the provocations for which he has written his letter to you. I hope you will write a paper to fhew, that if a Wife muft fpend her whole time in watching her Huf- band, (he cannot conveniently tend her child, or fit at her needle. I am, Sir, &c." (C S I R, ,.". ^ t:i;: To the IDLE R. :."ir:- i i •4 if was his apprentice. The young Gentleman ufed to fit late at the taverrt, without the knowlege of his father, and I was ordered by my miftrefs to let him in filently, to his bed tinder the counter, and to be very careful to take away his candle. The hours which I was obliged to watch, whilft the reft of the family was in bed, I confidered as fupernume- rary, and having no bufmefs aftigned for them, thought myfelf'at liberty to fpend them my. own way : I kept myfelf awake with a book, and for fome time liked my ftate the better for this opportunity of reading. At laft, the Up- per-maid found my book and fiiewed it to my Miftrefs, who told me, that wenches like. me might fpend their time better ; that fl-)e never knew any of the readers that had good defigns in tl)cir heads 3 that fhe could always find I ;^^;< f; 2^. e to {he 3enfe my alved irretu aid at ' fe fon- icman at the ed by is bed ful to ichl f the ume- hem, 1 my. ook, ler for Up- ^o my like, ^tlbe good [ways find" V > 4 : ^ *■.' '' N^'zg. The Idler. iSi find fomething elfe to do with her time, than to puzzle over books ; and did not like that fuch a fine Lady fliould fit up for her young Mafter. "' \ '," '■ ' ' :'' " This was the firfl time that I found It thought criminal or dangerous to know how to read. I was difmifled decently, left I flaould tell tales, and had a fmall gratuity a- ,bove my wages* ^ 'Vj.^vI:'-.vj •A':h .1 :.!>'■'' .^^Z- - " I THEN lived with a Gentlewoman of a fmall fortune. This was the only happy part of my life j my Miftrefs, for whom publick diverfions were too expenfive, fpent her time with books, and was pleafed to find a maid who could partake her amufements. I rofe early in the morning, that I might have time in the afternoon to read or liften, and was fufFered to tell my opinion, or exprefs my de- light. Thus fifteen months ftole away, in which I did not repine that I was born to fer- vitude. But a burning fever feized my Mif- trefs, of whom I ftiall fay no more than that her fervant wept upon her grave. *'Ihai> If ll I 162 ne Idler. N«'29. " I HAD lived in a kind of luxury, which made me very unfit for another place \ and was rather too delicate for the converfation of a kitchen \ {0 that when I was hired in the family of an Eaft India Director, my beha- viour was fo different, as they faid, from that of a common feryant, that they concluded me a Gentlewoman in dify;uife, and turned me out in three weeks, on fufpition of fome de- fign which they could • ^t comprehend* •';; ** I THEN fled for refuge to the other end of the town, where I hoped to find no obfl:ru- gree with her own book, for fhe fiercely de- clared her refolution, that there (hould be no jpen and ijik m that kitchen but her own, « Sh« Shs N° 29. The Idler. 163 *' She had the juftice, or the prudence, not to injure my reputation ; and I was ea- fily admitted Into another houfe in the neigh- bourhood, where mybufmefs was to fweep the rooms and make the beds. Here I was, for fome time, the favourite of Mrs. Simpery my Lady's woman, who could not bear the vulgar girls, and was happy in the attendance of a young woman of fome education. Mi's. Simper loved a novel, tho' flie could not read hard words, and therefore when her Lady was abroad, we always laid hold on her books. At laft, my abilities became fo much celebrated, that the houfe-fteward ufed to employ me in keeping his accounts. Mrs. Simper then found out that my faucinefs was grown to fuch a height that no body could endure it, and told my Lidy, that there never had been a room well fwept, fmce Betfy Broom came into the houfe. . ' ; ^^rr " I WAS then hired by a confumptlve Lady, who wanted a maid that could read and write, I attended h:r four years, and tho' {he was ne- ver pleafed, yet when I declared my refoluti- on to leave her, {he burft into tears, and told me tha; I muft bear the peevi{hnefs of a fick- bed» f l'( 4 I ! 164 T&e Idler.'' N^ ag* bed, and I fhould find myfelf remembered in her will. I complied, and a codicil was adcJ- ed in my favour j but in lefs than a week, when I fet her gruel before her, I laid the fpoon on the left fide, and flie threw her will into the fire. In two days fhe made an- other, which fhe burnt in the fame manner becaufe fhe could not eat her chicken. A third was made and deflroyed, becaufe flie heard a moufc within the wainfcot, and was fure that I fhould fuffer her to be carried away alive. After this I was for fome time out of favour, but as her illnefs grew upon her, re- fcntment and fullennefs gave way to kinder fentiments. She died and left me five hun^ died pounds ; with this fortune I am going to fettle in my native parifh, where I refolve to fpend fome hours every day, in teaching poor gills to read and write. - , ^ I am. Sir, .-i Your humble fervant,, '* Betty Broom. .vi X:yr\..r'' f':i}y .!( *n. i NO 30, N» 30. "The Idler. i6j n /•'■ 1 ^ f . .« . .-, V- s. .'» N^ 30. Saturday y November II. 3.^^ 'T^HE defires of man encreafe with his ac- quifitions i every ftep which he advan-' ces brings fomething within his view, which , he did not fee before, and v^hich, as foon j«« he fees it, he begins to want. Where necef- fity ends curiofity begins, and no fooner are we fupplied with every thing that nature can demand, than we fit down to contrive artifi- cial appetites. , . . , By this reftleflhefs of niind, -every populous and wealthy city is filled with innumerable employments, for which the greater part of mankind is without a name ; with artificers whofe labour is exerted in producing fuch petty conveniences, that many fliops are furnifhed with inftruments, of which the ufe can hardly be found without enquiry, but which he that once knows them, quickly learns to number among necefl*ary things. Such -^ . He is furely a public benefa6i:or who finds employment for thofe to whom it is thus diffi- cult to find it for themfelves. It is true that this is feldom done merely from generofity or compaffion, aln^oil every man feeks his own advantage in helping others, and therefore it is too common for mercenary oificioufnefs, to confider rather what is grateful than what '\jk right. We all know that it is more profitable i<% be loved thanefteemed, andminifters of plea- fure will always be found, who ftudy to make themfelves neceflary, and to fupplant the fe who are pradtifmg the fame arts. One of the amufements ofidlenefs is read- ing without the fatigue of dufe attention, and the world therefore fwarms with writers whofe wiHi is not to be ftudied but to be read. No '•!» , i, if ^HSf- .,^ 1^ f-i 1 1 168 The Idler, N« 30. ^o fpecies of literary men has lately been lb much multiplied as the writers of news. Not many years ago the nation was content with one Gazette; but now we have not only in the metropolis papers for every morning and every evening, but almoft every large town has its weekly hiftorian, who regularly circu- lates his periodical intelligence, and fills the villages of his diftri£l with conjecSlures on the events of war, and with debates on the true intereft of Europe, ,; ' '' .nr To write news in its perfe^''- N^ 3 1 . Saturday, November 1 8 . I TV/TANY moralifts have remarked, that Pride has of all human vices the wideft dominion, appears in the greatefl: multiplicity of forms, and lies hid under the greateft varie- ty of difguifes; ofdifguifes, which, like the moon's veil of hrlghtnefs, are both its luftre end iu Jhade^ and betray it to others, tho' they hide it from ourfelves. It is not my intention to degrade Pride from this pre-cmuience of mifchief, yet I know not whether Idlenefs may not maintain A vtry doubtful and obHiinate competition. There I til f .. I jf 7/6^ Idler. N** 3r. "The i d L E R. 17I There are fome that profefs Idlenefs in its full dignity, who call themfelves the Idle^ as Bttjiris in the play calls himfelf the Proud j who boaft that they do nothing, and thank their ftars that they have nothing to do ; who fleep every night till they can fleep no longer, and rife only that exercife may enable them to fleep again ; who prolong the reign of darknefs by double curtains, and never fee the fun but to tell htm how they hate his beams j whofe whole labour is to vary the poftures of indulgence, and whofe day differs from their night but as a couch or chair dijSbrs from a bed,:^"--'-' - ■ ■ '' ■ ' These are the true and open votaries of Wlenefs, for whom fhe weaves the garlands of poppies, and into whofe cup (he pours tha Avaters of oblivion ; who exift in a ftate of unruffled ftupiditV) forgetting and forgotten 5 who have long ceaftd to live, and at whof* death the furvivors can only fay, that they have ceafed to breathe. But Idlenefs predominates in mmy tivei where it is not fufpe^ted, for being a vice which terminates in itfelf, it may be enjoyed I 2 without 172 TAe Id l e r. N® 31*' without injury to others, and is therefore not watched like Fraud, which endangers pro- perty, or like Pride which naturally feeks its gratifications in another's inferiority. Idle- nefs is a filent and peaceful quality, that nei- ther raifes envy by oftentation, nor hatred by oppofition ; and therefore no body is bufy to cenfure or deteiSl it. As Pride fometitnes is hid under humility, Idlenefs is often covered by turbulence and hurry. He that negledb his known duty and real employment, naturally endeavours to croud his mind with fomething that may bar out the remembrance of his own folly, and does any thing but what he ought to do with eager diligence, that he may keep himfelf in his own favour. -■ ■t';-?H--i i L r ,:> ^ ' ■ * , ' Some are always in a ftate of preparation, occupied in previous meafures, forming plans, accumulating materials, and providing for the main affair. Thefe are certainly under the fecret power of Idlenefs. Nothing is to be expected from the workman whofe tools are for ever to be fought. I was once told by a great mafter, that no man ever excelled in and with felf in ration, plans, g for under 2: is to tools e told iccellcd in ^"^ 31- ne Idler. 173 in painting, who was eminently curious about pencils and colours. There are others to whom Idlencfs dic- tates another expedient, by which life may be paffed unprofitably away without thf* tcdiouf- nefs of many vacant hours. The art is, to fill the day with petty bulinefs, io have .ilv/ays fomething in hand which may niife curiofity, but not folicitude, and keep the mind in a itate of action, but not of labour. •-■. ■ -i, •*••■».- ^'^ ,--: ' f^-. . . -\\ ■ ' ■ . This art has for many years been pra^lifed by my old friend Sob:'7\ with wonderful fuc- cefs. Sober is a man of fLong deiires and quick imagination, fo exa61:]y ballanced by the love of eafe, that they can ft Idon ; ilimu- late him to any difficult undeuaking ; they have, however, fo much power, that they will not fuffer him to lie quite at reft, and though they do not make him fufficiently ufeful to others, they make him at leaft weary of himfelf* ^ Mr. Saber's chief pleafure is conVerfation ; there is no end of his talk or his attention ; to fpeak or to hear is equally pleaiing ; for I 3 he i 1 i I I •. 174 Tie Idle r. NO31. , he ftill fancies that he is teaching or learning ibmething, and is free for the time from his ©wn reproaches. But there is one time at night when he muft go home, that his friends may lleep ; and another time in the morning, when all the world agrees to Ihut out interruption. Thefe are the moments of which poor Sober trem- bles at the thought. But the mifery of thefe tirefome intervals, he has many means of al- leviating. He has perfuaded himfelf that the manual arts are undefervedly overlooked ; he has obferved in many trades the effects of clofe thought, and juft ratiocination. From fpeculation he proceeded to practice, and fup- plied himfelf with the tools of a carpenter, with which he mended his coal-box very fuc- cefsfully, and which he ftill continues to em- ploy, as he finds occafion. ;. He has attempted at other times the crafts of the Shoe-maker, Tinman, Plumber, and • Potter ; in all tliefe arts he has failed, and re- - foivcs to qualify himfelf for them by better information. But his daily amufement is .CiicmillTy. lie has a linall furnace, vrliiph he '*- arning om his hen he Heep ; I all the Thefe trem- Df thefe s of al- :hat the :ed ; he 'e6ts of From nd fup- ■penter, ry fac- to em- to? 31- The Idler. 175 he employs in diftillation, and which has long been the folace of his life. He draws oil$ and waters, and eflences and fpirits, which he knows to be of no ufe ; fits and counts the drops as they come from his retort, and forgets that, while a drop is falling, a mo- ment flies away. . ' ^ . t ' • Poor Sjbcr ! I have often tcaz'd him with reproof, and he has often promifed reforma- tion J for no man is fo much open to convic- tion as the Idkr^ but there is none on whom it operates fo little. What will be the cfte<51: of this paper I know not ; perhaps he will read it and laugh, and light the fire in hia furnace ; but my hope is that he will quit his trifles, and betake himfelf to rational and ufeful diligence. • ; ' ■ ■■#"■ e crafts sr, and and re- better lent is Vv'biph he K^ 32. !■ 176 ~^''"j""»"'sy ">'^,T ." > ■ ( i w Th Idler- N* 37i ( • ^'^■. m ' N^ 32. Saturday, November 25. ■ ?^ A MONG the innumerable mortifications that waylay human arrogance on every fide may well be reckoned our ignorance of the moft common objetSts and cfFefts, a defc6l of which we become more fenfible by every attempt to fupply it. Vulgar and inadlivc minds confound familiarity with know- ledge, and conceive themfelves informed of the whole nature of things' when they are ftiewn their form or told their ufe ; but the Speculatift, who is not content with fuperfi- cial views, harrafles himfelf with fruitlcfs cu- riofity, and ftill as he enquires more perceives •nly that he knows lefs. Sleep is aftate in tvhich a great part of eveiy life is palled. No animal has been yet difcovered, whofe exiftence is not varied with intervals of infenfibility j and fome late Philo^ fophers^ » irt of \n yet with *hiloi- bhersy ^ N^'s^. Tie Idler. 177 fophers have extended the Empire of Sleep over the vegetable world. ■ - . > » ■', *> •• » Yet of this change fo frequent, Co great, (b> general, and fo necefTary, no fearcher has yet found either the efficient or final caufe ; or can tell by what power the mind and body are thus chained down in irrefiftible ftupefadion j or what benefits the animal receives from this alternate fufpenfion of its adive powers* Whatever may be the multiplicity or contrariety of opinions upon this fubje6t. Na- ture has taken fufficient care that Theory fhali have little infl'iencc on Practice. The mofl diligent enqu t is n'^t able long ta keep his eyes open ; tne moft eager difputant will begin about midnight to dc-"^rt his argu- ment, and once in four and twenty hours, tlie gay and the gloomy, the witty a^.J the dull, the clamorous a/id the filent, the bufy and the idle, are all overpowered by the gen- tle tyrant, and all lie down in the equality of Sleep* PniLOi yp VI Y has often attempted to reprefs infolejice by ail'erting that all conditions are I 5. levelled ^ ^^,^' v^^.lr. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 1.1 lii|28 125 lis Ui 1^ ... 1^ IL25 i 1.4 lll£ |i6 1 ^ *« i^l V ^1 Photographic Sciences Corporation ^^^ '"^V^ 33 WIST MAIN STtlir J WiBSTCR, NY. MStO (716) 173-4903 A ^ u «?? 1 I ? I '>^ M' ■ ■ r I78 Tie Idler. N«^ 32. levelleJ hy Death v a pofitlon which, how- ever ft may dejeft the happy, will feldom af- ford much comfort to the wretched. It is far .^more pleafmg to confider that Sleep is e ually a leveller with Death ? that the time is ,.ev«r at a great diftance, when the balm of reftfhall be efFufed alike upon every head, when the ^diverfities of life fhall flop their operation, and 4he high and the low fhall lie down together. It is fbmewhere recorded of Alexandery that in the pride of conquefts^ and' intoxica- -tion of flattery, he declared that he only pes- • ceived himfelf to- be a man, by theneceffity of >^ Sleep. Whether he confidered Sleep as ne- ceflary to his mind or body it was indeed a fufficient evidence of huraaa infirmity; the body which required Aich frequency of reno- vation gave but faint promifes of immortalii- ty ; and the mind which, from time to time, funk gladly into infenfibility, had made no very near approaches to the felicity of the fu.-^ preme and felf-fufficient Nature.. I KNOW not what can tend more to repreis all the paflions that difturb the pe;ice of the world} than the confi$leration. that there is vs> h li^' height T '-i ff)e Idler. •V NO 32V ff,e Idler. i 79 height of happinefs or honour, from which man does not eagerly defcend to a ftate of iin- confcious repofe ; that the beft condition of life is fuch, that We contentedly quit its good to be difentangled from its evils ; that in a few hours fplendour fades before the eye, and praife itfelf deadens in the car? the fenfes with- draw from their objedts, and reafon favours the retreat, ^ What tlien are the hopes and profpcfls of covetoufnefs, ambition and rapacity ? Let him that defires moft have all his defires gratified, he never fhall attain a ftate, which he can, for a day arid a night, contemplate with fatisfac- tion, or from which, if he had tlie power of perpetual vigilance, he would not long for pe- riodical feparations. , ,/ ^irk ■ vs.t'-'i't' > All envy would be extinguillied if it were u^iivcrfally known that there are none to be envied, and farely none can be much envied . who are not pleafed with themfclves. There IS reafon to fafpeil that the diftin6tions of mankind have more (hew than value, when it is found that all agree to be weary ali-ke of' A . * 16 ' pica- \ / 180 Tie Idler. N« 32- pleafures and of cares, that the powerful and the weak, the celebrated and obfcure, join in one common wifh, and implore from Nature's hand the ne£lar of oblivion. " Such is our defire of abftraiStion from oufr felves, that very few are fatisfied with the quantity of ftupefa6lion which the needs of the body force upon the mind. Alexander himfelfadded intemperance to fleep, and folaced with the fumes of wine the fovereignty of the world. And almoft every man has fome art, by which he fteals his thoughts away from his prefent ftate. It is not much of life that is fpent in clofe attention to any important duty. Many hours of every day are fufFered to fly away without any traces left upon the intelledls^ We fuffer phantoms to rife up before us, and amufe ourfelves with the dance of airy ima- ges, which after a time we difmifs for ever> and know not how we have been bufied. 4.. Many have no happier moments than thofe that they pafs in folitude, abandoned to their •wn imagination, which fometimes puts fceptres ■ i N^' 32. TZ^ Idler. iSi thofe I their puts [ptr€s fceptres in their hands or mitres on their heads, (hifts the fcene of pleafure with endlefs. variety, bids all the forms of beauty fparkle be-^ fore them, and gluts them with every change of vifionary luxury. It is eafy in thefe femi-flumbers to coUe^lr all the poilibilities of happinefs, to alter the courfe of the Sun^ to brmg back the paft^ and anticipate the future, to unite all the beauties of all feafons, and all the bleflings of all climates, to receive and beilow felicity,, and forget that mifery is the lot of man. AH this is a voluntary dream, a temporary receffioa from the realities of life to airy fictions i and habitual fubjedlion of reafon to fancy. ' Others are afraid to be alone, and amufe themfelves by a perpetual fucceflion of com- panions, but the difference is not great, in folitude we have our dreams to ourfelves, and in company we agree to dream in concert. The end fought in both is forgetfulnefs o£ ourfelves.^ • - % ^ , v ^ jf-';-'; ^j,«-y'*i:--;'v|:;:'i: 7.'r ,i Nfl 33. l82 ^he Idler. N<» sj- N^ 33. Saturday y December 2* fi i f [I hope the Author of the following letter will excufe the omifllon of fome parts, and allow me to remark^ that the Journal of the Citizea ' ; -- in the SpeSiator has almoft precluded the at-* tempt of any future \^''riter.] -Non ita Romulr Prafcriptum^ &f intmft datmis s ^ Jufpiciis^ veterumque norma, - HoRv. Sir, ' ^VTOIJ have often folicited Correfpondence.. I here fend you the youmal. o£ a Senior Fellow, or Genuine Idler^ juft tranfmitted. from Caftihr'tdge by a facetious Correfpondent,, and warranted to have been tranfcribed from ^e* Common- wlace book of the Journalift,. ■H-- Monday, Nine o'clock. Turned ofF my BecT-' maker for waking me at eight. Weather rainy. Confulted my weather- glafs. Nq. hopes of a ride befor« dinner*. ^' .>'f ^1';,^ ■'i- N<^J3- The Idler. i»j D/V/fl, 7 en. After breakfaft, tranfcribcd half a Sermon from Dr. Hickman, N. B, Never to tranfcribe any more from Calamy ; Mrs- Pikocis, at nry Curacy, having one volume of that author lying in her parlour window. DittOy Eleven, Went down into my cellar. Adem, My Mountain will be fit to drink in a month's time. N, B, To remove the five- year-old Port into the new bin on the left haiid. ^^ DittOy Twelve^ Mended a pen. Looked at my "weather glafs again. Quickfilver very low. Shaved. Barber's hand fhakes. ¥ DittOy One, Dined alone in my room on a foal. N, B, The fhrimp-fauce not fo good asL Mr. H. of Peterhoufe and I ufed to eat in London laft winter at the Mitre in Fleet-Jireet, Sate down to a pint of Madeira. Mr. H% furprized me over it. We finiflied two bot- tles of Port together, and were very chearful. Mem. To dine with Mr. H, at Peterhoufe^ next Wednefday, One of the dilhes a leg of pork and peafe by my defire* ,x iitriiitr? :^SL DtttOy ^^ mmmm mm* i ! 184 Tie Idler. N«^ 3> Ditfo^ Six» News -paper in the common- room. DittOi Seven, Returned to my room.. Made a tifF of warm punch, and to bed before nine; did not fall afleep till ten, a young Fellow-commoner being very noify over my head. ^ ^ Tuefday^ Nine, Rofe fqueamifli, A find- mornings Weather-glafs very high. » DittOy Ten, Ordered my horfe, and rode to the five miles ftone on the New Market Road* Appetite gets better. A pack of hounds,, in full cry, crofled the road, and ftartled my horfe* , vm , '■-'""' D'ttto^ Twelve, Dreft. Found a tetter on my table to be in London the 19th inft. Be« ipoke a new wig. .. t Ditto^ One, At dinner In the hall. Too much water in the foup. Dr. Dry always orders the beef to be falted too much for me. DIttOy Two. In the common-room. Dr. Dry gave us an inftance of a Gentleman who kept f\ N*' 33- Tie Idler. 185 kept the gout out of his ftomach by drinking old Madeira, Converfation chiefly on the Expeditions. Company broke up at four. Dr. Dry and my felf played at Back Gammon for a brace of Snipes. Won. . <- DittOi Five, At Ae CofFee-houfe. Met Mr. H. there. Could not get a fight of the Monitor,. DittOy Seven, Returned home, and ftirred my fire. Went to the Common-room, and fupped on the 'nipes with Dr. Dry, DittOy Eij^ht, Began the evening in the Common-room. Dr. Dry told feveral ftories* Were very merry. Our new Fellow, that iludies phyfic, very talkative toward twelve. Pretends he will bring the youngeft Mifs -* to drink tea with me foon. Impertinent blockhead ! I .■ /'.'■ ' Wednefday^ Nine, Alarmed with a pain in my ancle. ^. The gout ? Fear I can't dine 2X Peterhonfe \ but I hope a ride will fet all to rights, Weather-glafs below fair. Dittti^ » l86 rhe iDLEk. N»3-f. X)/«. Mounted my horfe, though the "iveather fufpicious. Pain in my ancle entirely gone. Catched in a fhower coming back. Convinced that my weather-glafs is the beft in Cambridge* • Ditto^ Twelve, Dreft. Sauntered up to th^ FiJhmongerS'HilL Met Mr. H. and went with him to Peterhoufe, Cook made us Wait *■ thirty fix minutes beyond the time. The company fome of my Emanual friends. For * dinner a pair of foals, a leg of pork and peafe, among other things. Mem. Peafe-pudding ^ // not boiled enough. Cook reprimanded and fconced in my prefence. Dttto^ after dinner. Pain in my ancle re- turn*. Dull all the afternoon. Rallied for ^ being no company. Mr. i/V account of the accommodations on the road in his Bath journey. I" Diitoy Six. Got into fpirit?. Never was 'more chatty. We fat late at Whift. Mr. H. and felf agreed at parting to take a gentle ^ . ride, and dine at the old houfe on the London i , < road to-morrow. A\ o ..*.»- N<^33- TAe Idler. 187 Thurfday^ Nine, My Sempftrefs. She has loft the meafure of my wrift. Forced to be meafured again. The baggage has got a trick of fmiling. D/V/tf, Ten to Eleven, Made fome rappcc- (iwxff. Read the magazines. Received a pre- fent of pickles from Mifs Pilcocks, Mem, To fend in return fome collared eel, which 1 know both the old Lady and Mifs are fond of. DhtOi Eleven, Glafs very high. Mounted at the gate with Mr. H, Horfe fkittifh, and wants exercife. Arrive at the old houfe* All . the provifions befpoke by fome rakiQi Fellow- Commoner in the next room, who had been on a fcheme to Newmarket, Could get no- thing but mutton chops, off the worft end. Port very new. Agree to try fome oth^r houfe to-morrow. — — • Here the Journal breaks off: For the next morning, as my friend informs me, our genial Academic was waked with a fsvere fit of the . gout J and, at prefent, enjoys all the dignity of that difeafe. But I believe we have loft nothing by this interruption : Since, a conti- ^' ^ ^^ - nuation. .■ r? ' •w^mtf; ■I ' / l-- f i88 Tie Idler. N<» 33. nuation of the remainder of the Journal, thro' the remainder of the week, would moft pro- bably have exhibited nothing more, than a repeated relation of the fame circumftances of Idling and Luxuiy. 1 HbrE it will not be concluded, from this fpecimen of Academic .Life, that I have at- tempted to decry our Univerfities. If Litera- ture is not the efllntial requifite of the modern Academic, I am yet perfuaded, that Cam- brige and Oxford^ however degenerated, fur- pnfs the fafliionable Academies of our metro- polis, and tpc Gymnaf.a of foreign countries* The number of learned perlons in thefe cele- brated feats, is ftiil confiderable, and more conveniences and opportunitiea for ftudy ftill fubfift in them, than in any other place. 'ilThere is at leaft one very powerful incentive to Learning; I mean the Genius of the place. *Tis is a fort of infpiring Deity which every youth of quick fenfibility and ingenious dif- pofition creates to himfelf, by reflecting, that he is placed under thofe venerable walls, where a Hooker and a Hammoi*jd, a Ba«- CON and a Newton, once purfutd the fame cou, i'e of fcicnccj and from whence they foar- 3J- N** 33. 7X^ Idler. 189 cd to the moft elevated heights, of Literary Fame. This is that incitement, which, 7«//y, • according to his own teftimony, experienced at Athens^ when he contemplated the porticos where Socrates fate, and the Laurel-Groves where Plato difputed. But there are other circumftances, and of the hlgheft importance, which render our Colleges fuperior to all o- ther places of Education. Their Inftitutions, although fomewhat fallen from their primae- val fimplicity, are i'u h as influence, in a par- ticular manner, the moral condu^i of their youth ; and in this general depravity of man- ners and laxity of principles, pure Religion is no where more ftrongly inculcated. The A- cademies^ as they are prefumptuoufly ftiled, are too low to be mentioned ; and foreign Semi- naries are likely to prejudice the unwary mind with Calvinifm. But EngViJlj Univer- fities render their Students virtuous, at leaft by excluding all opportunities of Vice ; and by teaching them the principles of tne Church of Englandy confirm them in thofe of true Chriftianity. I"" ■' ^v„ ),;tvi?. m /d'i'-Jt-l ^^'5; -I't;*' :„J. :^U; NO 34. «« "•;• * f fF-s^' w'^' 190 s; !r.^ <» Tie Idle r. N* 34; ,-{)#- N^ 34. Saturday y December 9. ,:;.«^^^ ;.-•/*, s j(«.-t* »Try 'T^O illuftrate one thing by Its refemblance to another has been always the moft po- pular and efficacious art of inftru6tion, There is indeed no other method of teaching that of which any one is ignorant but by means of fomething already known j and a mind fo enlarged by contemplation and cn- quiiy, that it has always many objects within ia» view, will feldom belongwithout fome near and familiar image thro' which any eafy tran- fition may be made to truths more diftant and obfcure. ♦T m Of the parallels which have been drawn by Wit and Curiofity, fome are literal and real, as between Poetry and Painting, two arts which purfue the fame end, by the ope- ration of the fame mental faculties, and which differ only as the one reprefents things by marks permanent and natural, the other by -.- ' Tigns ^r 34'* i.,i^ •11 N*34- The Idler.^ 19 i figns accidental and arbitrary. The one there- fore is more eafily and generally underftood, fince fimilitude of form is immediately per- ceived, the other is capable of conveying more ideas, for men have thought and fpoken of many things which they do not fee. .'.r-t. »--r ;!(-:; * i t> >-*'p< figns Other parallels are fortuitous and fanci- ful, yet thefe have fometimes been extended to many particulars of refemblance by a lucky concurrence of diliger^ce and chanca. The animal bady is compofed of many members, united un ler the dire(3:ion of one mind ; any number of individuals conne6ted for fome Common purpofe, is therefore called a body. From this participation of the fame appellati- on arofe the comparifon of the body natural and body politick, of which, how far foever it has been deduced, no end has hitherto been found. , .- In thefe Imaginary fimilitudes, the fame word is ufed at cnce In its primitive and me- taphoiical fenfe. Thus health, afcribed to the body natural, is oppofed to ficknefs ; but attributed to the body politick Hands as con- trary to adverfity. Thefe parallels therefore have " *• .»■ 11: ^ r92r The Idlers N« 34* have more of genius but lefs of truth j they often pleafe, but they never convince. Of this kind is a curious fpeculation fre- quently indulged by a Philofopher of my ac- quaintance, who had difcovered that the qua- lities requifite to converfation are very exactly reprefented by a bowl of punch. , , ^ > ' Punch, fays this profound inveftigator, is a liquor compounded of fpirit and acid juices, fugar and water. The fpirit volatile and fiery, is the proper emblem of vivacity and wit, the acidity of the lemon will very aptly figure pungency of raillery, and acrimony of cenfurc ; fugar is the natural reprcfentative of lufclous adulation and gentle complaifance ; and water is the proper hieroglyphick. of eafy prattle, innocent and taftelefs. . - .<> Spirit alone is too powerful for ufe. It will produce madnefs rather than merriment ; and inftead of quenching third will inflame the blood. Thus wit too copioufly poured out agitates the hearer with emotions rather violent than pleafing ; every one fhrinks from the force of its opprefTion, the company fits -■ — intranced ,i / '34* they I fre- ly ac- ; qua- xa£lly :or, is juices, e and ty and J aptly ony of ive of ance ; 3f eafy e. It ment ; nflame lOUred rather from ny fits ranced s N« 34: 7*^ Idle rt 193 intranced and overpowered ; all are aftoni(hed9 Init nobody is pleafed. »« '. >».ji The acid juices gi\'c this genial liquor all its power of ftimulating the palate. Con- verfation would become dull aiid vapid, i£ negligence were not Ibmetimcs roufed, and ; fluggiflinefs quickened, by due fcvcrity of re- \ prehcnlion. But acids unmixt will dilbrt s the face and torture the palate; and he that lias no other qualities than penetration and afpc- rity, he whofe conftant employment is dc^ec-- rionand cenfure, who looks only to lind faultsr and f peaks only to punifli them, will footi bg dreaded, hated, and avoided. * ^rr The tafte of fugar is generally pleafinq;,- - but it cannot long be eaten by itlelf. 'I'hus , mccknefs and courtefy will always recom- mend the firft addrcfs, but foon pall and nau-. ., Ibate, unlefs they are al^oc^ated. with more fpritely qualities. The chief ufc of fugar in to temper the tafte of other fubftances, and foftnefs of behaviour in the fame manner? mitigates the roughnefs of con tradition, and allays the bitterncfs of unwelcome trutlu Mi? «-■ ■ ^ K "m;:- Water. mi^ ll 1514 TX^ I D L E R. N*' 34:.* <• Water is the univerfal vehicle by which are conveyed the particles neceffary to fuf- tenance and growth, by which thirft is quenched, and all the wants of life and na- ture are fupplied. Thus all the bufmefs of the world is tranfa ufed alone, and with which man is content '■' tin fancy has framed an artificial want. Thus while we only defiie to have our ignorance informed we are moft delighted with the plaineft di<5lion j and it is only in the moments of idlenefe or pride, that we call for the gra- tifications of wit or flattery, " He only will pleafe long, who, by temper- ing the acid of fatire with the fugar of civility, and allaying the heat of wit with the frigidity of humble chat, can make the true punch of converfation \ and as that punch can be drank m «w- . w 7.; ;• :.'r:v^ ^^SS- Tie Idle It. 195 in the greateft quantity which has the largeft proportion of water. To that companion will be ofteneft welcome, whofe. talk flows out with inofFeniive copioufnefs, and unenvied infipidity. I am, &c. m- ■'€ N^ 35. Saturday y December 16. To the ID L E R. Mr. Idler, TF it be difficult to perfuadc the Idle to be bufy, it is likewifc, as experience has taught me, not eafy to convince t"he Bufy that it is better to be idle. When you fhall defpair of •ftimulating fluggifhnefs to motion, I hope yoa will turn your thoughts towards the means ©t ftllliii{, JuQ buftle of pernicious adivity. '^1 AM the unfortunate hufband of a Buyer of Bargains, My^wife has fomewhere heard, that a good houfcwife never has any thing to furchnfe when it is wanted. This maxim is ■ J.J • K 2 •. . often 'JSct^i \^-^'■- 196 ' • ^he I D L E iti^ N® 35. often in her mouth, and iXvrxp in her head. She is not one of thofe philofophical talkers that fpeculatc without pradWee, and learn fen- tcncei-of wifdom only to repeat them ; (he is always making additions to her ftbres ; fh6 never looks into a Broker's ihop, but (he fpies fomething that may be wanted feme time ; and it is impoffible to make her pafs the door of a houfe where (he hears Gooa^ filling hy II-. '■.V Whatever ihe thinks cheap, fhe holds it the duty of an oeeonomift to buyj in confequence of this maxim, we are incum- bered on every fide with ufelefs lumber. Thp iervants can fcarcely creep to their beds thro* the chefts and boxes that furround them. TheCarpenter is employed once a week in buil- ding clofets, fixing cupboards, and faftenlng (helves, and my houfe has the appearance of a ihip ftored for a voyage to the Colonies. T HAD often obferved that advertifements fet her on fire, and therefore, pretending to e- mulate her laudable frugality, I forbad the nev/s-paper to be taken any longer ; but my precaution is vain ; I know not by what fa- ■ - V. .,, - ^ tality> N°35- ne Idler. 1^7 tality, or by what confederacy, evcrycatalogue of Genuine Furniture comes to her hand, e- very advertifement of a Warehoufe newly opened is in her pocket-rbook, and ihe -knows before any of her neighbours^ when the ftocjc of any man le(tving ^jf trade '19 to h^/oU cheap for rtiady money, ^ , Such intelligence, is to my Dearone the Siren's fong. No engagement, no duty, no intepeft can withold her from a Sale, from which flie always returns congratulating her- felf upon her dexterity at a Bargain ; the Por- ter lays down his burden in the hall, ihe dif- playr her new acquifitions, and fpends the reft of the day in contriving where they fliall be put. As ihe cannot bear to have any thing imcomplete, one purchafe neceffitates ano- ther I file has twenty feather-beds more than ihe can ufe, and a late Sale has fupplied her with a proportionable number of Whitney blankets, a large roll of linnen for {heets, and five quilts for every bed, which (he bought becaufe the feller told her, that if (he K 3 ^ would \.''^" ■:v «:■ 198 ne Id L ER. N<»35. would clear his hands he would let her have a Bargain. Thus by hourly encroachments my habi- tatk>n is made narrower and narrower ; the 'dining-room is (b crouded wkh tables that dinner fcafcely can be ferved ; the parlour is decorated with fo many piles of china, that I ^dare not ftep within the door ; at every turn *of the flairs I have a clock, and half the win- ' fdows of the upper floors are darkened that Ihclves may be fet before them. This, howei'cr, might be borne, if ffie 'would gratify her own inclinations without oppofing mine. But I who am idle am luxn- riousy and fhe condemns me to live upon fait provifion. She knows the lofs of buying in fmall quantities, we have therefore whole ' hogs and quarters of oxen. Part of our meat 'is tainted before it is eaten, and part b thrown ^ away becanfe it is fpoiled j but fhe perfifts in I her fyftem, and will never buy any thing by fingle pennyworths. The common vice of thofe who are ftill grafping at more, is^ to negle(a that which . they ^> ^ ■A Your ycry humble Servant, Petsu Plintv, ■4. 1 • 1 ■ fji^l^j - .:*.;i i^^rmn^ \4.'.?^d >;^ .'f ;W* 1'^ j',>> '-iv . v;'''-;iij^-^.- N^'SS. '¥: ^N«36. snjtf Idler. 201 ■t N^ 36. Saturday, December 27^ i.i npHE great differences that difturb the peace of mankind, are not about ends but means. We have all the fame general defires, but how thofe defires fliall be accom- pli(hed will for ever be difputed. The ulti- mate purpofe of government is temporal, and. that of religion is eternal happinefs. Hitherto we agree; but here we muft part, to try, ac- cording to the enHlefs varictitjs- of paflion and underftmding combined with one anodier, every poflible form of Government, and every ima£ lable tenet of Religion. We are told by Cumberland'^ thztReSlitudey applied to adlion or contemplation, is merely metaphorical ; and that as a right line dcf- cribes the ftiorteft paflage from point to point, ^ a right a6^ion 'effe£ts a good ciefign by the feweft means ; and fo likewife a right opinion 18 that which conne£ts diftant truths by the fiiorteft train of intermediate propofitions. %-' > . . ■ K 5. '^''■\ To ^"mmm 202 The Idler. N« 36. To find the neareft way from truth to truth, or from purpofe to efFe£t, not to ufe more inftruments where fewer will be fuffici- ent, not to move by wheels and levers what will give way to the naked hand, is the great proof of a healthful and vigorous mind, nei- ther feeble with helplefs ignorance, nor over- burdened with unweildy knowledge. i<»r. . But there are men who Teem to think no- diing fo much the chara£teriftick of a genius, as to do common things in an uncommon manner ; like Hudibras to //// the Clock by Algebra^ or like the Lady in Dr. Toung*s Satires, to drink Tea by ftratagem. To quit the beaten track only becaufe it is known, and take a new path, however crooked or rough, becaufe the ftrait was found out before. Every man fpeaks and writes with intent to be underftood, and it can feldom happen but he that underftands himfelf might convey his notions to another, if, content to be un- derftood, he did not feek to be admired \ but when once he begins to contrive how his fentiments may be received^ not with moft eafe ''.■•■V^'. ..^.j^. • ■- . 9" - i- •.i ^^ 3^* The Idler. 203 eajfe to his reader, but with mod advantage to himfelf, he then transfers his confideration from words to founds, from fentences to pe- ' riods, and as he grows more elegant becomes ^ lefs intelligible. It is difficult to enumerate every fpecies of Authors whofe labours countera6t themfclves. The man of exuberance and copioufnefs, who difFufes every thought thro* fo many di verfities of expreffion, that it is loft like water in a mift. The ponderous diftator of fentences, ' whofe notions are delivered in the lump, and ;,' "■ are, like uncoined bullion, of more weight than ufe. The liberal ill uftrator, v/ho fhews . by examples and comparifons what was clearly feen vvhen it was firft propofed ; and the il:ately fon of demonftratlon, who prov;s with ma- thematical formality what no man has yet pretended to doubt. There \s a mode of ftyle for which I know ' not that the Mafters of Oratory H.ive yet found a nmc, a ftyle by which themor; evi-. v?^: -ch dent truths are fo ob'cured tliat they ciiw F?a -- . longer be perceived, and themoflfiimillar (.ro- ; ■ politions fo difguifed tbjt they t«i.'.o. he * . * K 6- kiiov.n *'i '^^€\'- i mam • i 0. •* J I -#? '-I.-. 204^ TAe Idler. N*' 36. known. Every other kind of eloquence is the drefs of fenfe, but this is the malk, by which a true Matter of his art will fo effec- tually conceal it, that a man will as eafily Tiiiftake his own pofitions if he meets them thus transformed, as he may pafs in a maf- querade his neareil acquaintance. -. ^^-iX- This ftyle may be called the terrijicky for its chief intention is to terrify and amaze ; it may be termed the repuljive^ for its natural effed: is to drive away the reader ; or it may be diftinguifhed, in phmEnglifii by the deno- mination of the bugbear Jiyle^ for it has more terror than danger, and will appear lefs for- midable, as it is more nearly approached, ^ A MOTHER tells her infant, that two and two make four y the child remembers the propofi- tion, and is able to count four to all the pur- pofes of life, till the courfe of his education brings him among philofophers, who fright him from his former knowledge, by telling him that four is a certain aggregate of unites j that all numbers being only the repetition of an unite, which, though not a number it- felf, is the parent, root, or original of all number, N® 36- ne Idler. 205 number, four is the denomination affigned to a certain number of fuch repetitions. The only danger is, left, when he firft hears thefe dreadful founds, the pupil fhould run away ; if he has but the courage to flay till the coa- cluflon, he will find that, when fpxulation has doae its worft, two and two flill make four. An illuflrious example of this fpecies of eloquence, may be found in Letters concerning Mind. The Author begins by declaring, that the forts of things are things that now are^ have heen^ ard Jhall le, and the things that JiriSily are. In this pofition, except the lafl claufe, in which he ufes fomethingof the fcholaftick language, tjiere is nothing but what every man lias heard and imagines him^ felf to know. But who would not believe that feme wonderful novelty is prefented to^ his intellect, when he is afterv/ards told, in the true bugbear ftyle.;, th^it the Ares, in the for ^ mer fenfe^ are things that lie between the Havc- beens and Shall-bes. The Have-beens are things that are paj? j the Shall-bes are things that are to come ; and the things that are, m the latter fenfe, are things that have not been^ nor Jhall be, norjland in the midji of fuch as are ■t , : -;{^ .x^ ^1;^^ 4 . r^tflDLE'K: NO 37. are before them or Jhall be after them. The '"^ things that have beeriy and Jhall be^ have refpe6i 'Uprefenty pajiy and future. Thofe likewife that now arb have moreover place ; that^ for Hnjlance^ which is here^ that which if iff the 'Eaji, that which is Uf the Wefu -^^ All this, my dear reader, is very ffrange ; but though it be ftrange, it is not new ; furvey thefe wonderful fentences again, and they wiH be found to contain nothing more than very i plain truths, which till this Author arofe had always been delivered in plain language. . 4 N° 37. Saturday^ December ^Oi.^ 'TpHOSE who are (killed in the extra£lion r "■• and preparation of metals, declare, that iron is^ every where to be found ; and that not only its proper ore i» copioully treafured in the caverns of the earth, but that its particles are difperfed throughout all other bodies. ^ If the extent of the human vie\r eould comprehend the whole frame of the univerfe, ' " I be- » t 37' The ?fpe£f ewtfe ^ for the ■*i.. - J .:. N^'^r- Sr2'^''A'l Throughout the whole circle, both of natural and moral life, neceffaries are as Iron» and fuperfluities as Gold. What we really j>^.*^-i ■. •■-■ / need !l , f-' s,^ 208 ^be I p t E R*' N*^ 37- need we may readily obtain \ ib readily^ that far the greater part of mankind has, in the wantx>nnefs of abundance, confounded natural with artificial defires, and invented neceiHties for the fake of employment,, becaufe the mind is impatient of inaction, and life is fuftained with fo little labour, that the tedioufnefe of idle time cannot otherwife be fupported.. p -s'^'. t'iV'' fi i;/rHUS plenty is the original caufe of many of our needs, and even ^e poverty which is fo frequent and diftrefsful in civilized nations, proceeds often from that change of manners which opuknce has produced. Nature makes us poor only when we want neceffaries, but cuftom gives the name of poverty to the want •f fuperfluities.. ^,,^ Whek Socrates paflcd through (hops of toys and ornaments, he cried out, How many, things are here which I do not need. And the fbme exclamation may every man make who furveys the common accommodations of life. Superfluity and dIfHculty begin toge- ther. To drefs food for the ftomach is eafy, the art is to irritate the palate v/hcn the fto- ■ • mach N^ 37. Tj^^ Idler. 209 mach is fufficed. A rude liand may build walls, form roofs, and lay floors, and provide all that warmth and fecurity require ; we only call the nicer artificers to carve the cor- nice, or to paint the cielings. Such drefs as may enable the body to endure the different feafons the mofl unenlightened nations have been able to procure, but the work of fcience begins in the ambition of diftinflion, in varia- tions of faihion, and emulation of elegance. Corn grows with eafy culture, the Gardiner's experiments arc only employed to exalt the flavours of fruits and brighten the colours of ilowers. t'if i',j*'«R Even of knowledge, thofe parts are mofl cafy, which are generally neceflary. The intercoufe of fociety is maintained without the degandes of language. Figures, criticifms, and refinements arc the work of thofe whom idlenefs makes weary of themfelves. The commerce of the world is carried on by eafy methods of computatixHi. Subtilty and fludy are required only when qucftions are invented merely to puzzle, and calculations are extend- ed to fhew the fkill of the calculator. The light of the Sun is equaUy beneficial to him, «u;'Mt whofe ■'■'■:' '^.■. ' ■■■> * --■' * ^ ^ ■:.''-^. I ''■'">*.■•:,..• ' a^'-'' .',"'•',/ 210^ Tie Idler. N« 37. whofc eyes tell him that it moves, and to him whofe reafon peffuades him that it ftands ftill. And plants grow with the fame luxuriance, whether we fuppofe earth or water the parent ' of vegetation. 'i^-fii, •W v- *#Y v^.-t*.*'^i(r:i 5XK,. If we raife our thoughts to nobler enquiries, we fliall ftill find facfiity concurring with u(e- fulnefs. No man needs Hay to be virtuous , till the moralifts have determined the effence ' of virtue; our duty is made apparent by ks proximateconfequencesjtho'thegcneralandul- ^ timatereafonihould never be difcovered. Reli- gion may regulate the life of him to whom the ; Scott/is and Thomijis are alikeunknown, andthe r sorters of fate and free-will, however different v* in their talk, -agree to aft inc the fame manner. t It is not my intention to depreciate the 1 politer arts or abftrufer ftudies. That curio- -' iity which always fucceeds eafe and plent}', ' was undoubtedly given us as a proof of capa- '! city which our prefcnt ftate is not able to fill, - as a preparative for fome better mode of ex- iftence, which (hall furnifli employment for ! the whole foul, and where pleafure fhall be . adec[uate to our po\yers of fruition. In the j*Qirv ' ' : mean W :*«.. "T * ■ #ii 211 NO 38. T&e I D L E K. mean time let us gratefully acknowledge that goodnefs which grants us eafe at a cheap rate, which changes the feafons where the nature of heat and cold has not been yet examined, and gives the viciflitudes of day and night to thofe who never marked the tropicks, or num.- bered the conflellations. mi N^ 38. Saturday, January 6. CINCE the publication of the letter, con- cerning the condition of thofe who are confined in Gaols, by theFr Creditors^ an en- quiry is faid to have been made, by which it appears that more than * twenty thoufand are at this time prifoners for debt. We often look with indifFerence on the fucceflive parts of that, which, if the whole were feen together, would (hake us with emo- tion. A Debtor is dragged to prifon, pitied for a moment, and then forgotten ; another • This number was at that time confidently pub- Uftied, but the authour has iince fouad reafon to i^ueition the calculation, follows ^1 fit ■ i U^i^^ ,: ij #•- 212 ^i6^ Id LER, N«» 38. follows him, and is loft alike in the caverns of oblivion j but when the whole mafs of calamity rifes up at once, when twenty thou- fand rcafonable Beings are heard all groaning tn unneceffary mifery, not 'by the infirmity of nature, but the miftake or negligence of po- licy, who can forbear to pity and lament, fo wonder and abhor, ^■,, There is here no -need of declamatory ve- liemence j we live in nn age of Commerce and Computati€)n ) let us therefore coolly enquire what is the fum of evil which the imprifon- ment of Debtors brings upon our country. It feems to be the opinion of the later com- putifts, that the inhabitants of £'»|'/i?»^ do not , exceed fix millions, of which twenty thbuland is the three-hundredth part. What fliail we fay of the humanity or the wifdom of a na- tion, that voluntarily facrifices one in every tthicc hundred to lingering deftru(ftion I ' ' The misfortunes of an individual do not extend their influence to many 5 yet, if we confider the effects of confanguinity and friendfhip, and the general reciprocation of wants and benefits, which make one man dear or neccflary to another, it may rea- iA-^iW ■' - '••."■ 3''\ ' fbnably 1¥5- I • w •y / y:^^. o not if we and cation one y rea- >nably N**38- TAe Idle r. 213 fonubly be fuppofed, that every man languifh- ^ ing in prifon gives trouble of fome kind to two others who love or need him. By this mul- tiplication of mifery we fee diftrefs ex:tended to the hundredth part of the whole fociety. If we eflimate at a (hilling a day what is loft by the ina^Hon and confumed in the fup- port of each man thus chained down to invo- - luntary idlenefs, the publick lofs will rife in one year to three hundred thoufand pounds ; in ten years to more than a fixth part of our circulating coin. ;»^ I AM afraid that thofe who are beft ac- quainted with the ftate of our prifons, will confefs that my conje^ure is too near the truth, when I fuppofe that the corrofion of refentment, the heavinefs of forrow, the cor- ruption of confined air, the want of exercife, and fometimes of food, the contagion of dif- eafes from which there is no retreat, and the feverity of tyrants againft whom there can be no refiftance, and all the complicated horrors of a prifon, put an end every year to the life of one in four of thofe that are (hut up from the common comforts of human life. Thus 4 ;jfe' A—' i ■ . 214 TChe Idler. N<> 3^* Thus perifli yearly five thoufand men, over- borne with forrow, coniumcd by famine, or putrificd by filth j many of them in the moft vigorous and ufeful part of life ; for the thoughtlefs and imprudent are commonly young, and the adlivc and bufy are feldom ©Id. -; • According to the rule generally received, which fuppofes that one in thirty dies yearly, the race of man may be faid to be renewed at the encf of thirty years. Who would have be- lieved till now, that of every Englijh genera- tion an hundred and fifty thoufand perifh in our gaols ! That in every century, a nation eminent for fcience, ftudious of commerce, ambitious of empire, fbould willingly lofe, in noifome dungeons, five hundred thoufand of its inhabitants : A number greater than has -ever hztn dcftroyed in the fame time by the Peflilence and Sword ! A VERY late occurrence may ihew us the value of the number which we thus condemn to be ufelefs ; in the re-eftablifhment of the Trained Bands, twenty thoufand are confider- cd as a force fufficient againft all exigencies : :v While, ■Sl'i # f > ' W •" .* ^.' ., : , ,' •' .■- V-' ■ ' .■^-'^...-■■^-( ■...■. ' •••■ , ,. ■■ , • N?38. Tif^. Idler. 215, While, therefore, we detain twenty thoufand in prifon, we (hut up in darknefs and ufelefl^. nefs two thirds of an army which ourfelves judge €qual to the defence of our country. The monaftick inftitutlons have been often blamed, as tending to retard the increafe of mankind. And perhaps retirement ought rare- ly to be permitted, except to thofe whofe em- ployment is confiftent with abftraftion, and who, tho* folitary, will not be idle j to thofe whom infirmity makes ufelefs to the common- * . wealth, or to thofe who have paid their due pro- portion to Society, and who, having lived for "Others, may be honourably difmified to live for themfelves. But whatever be the evil or the fol- ly of thefc retreats, thofe have no right to cen- v Aire them whofc prifons contain greater num- bers than the Monafteries of other countries. It is, furely, lefs foolifh and lefs criminal to permit inaction than compel it ; to comply with doubtful opinions of happinefs, than condemn to certain and apparent mifery ; to indulge the extravagancies of erroneous piety, than to multiply and enforce temptations to wickednefs* j&p?t'.^.iJ'5«?!;.U{.''^^7;^'':.?'n^-'tirn: VJ '-.:■': The t'' 1. t V I <,j 116 ^ Tie Idler. N«3^* The mifery of gaols is not half their evil ; they are filled with every corruption which poverty and wickednefs can generate between them; with all the fhamelefs and profligate «normiUes that can be produced by the impu- dence of ignominy, the rage of want, and the malignity of defpair. In a prifon the awe of the publick eye is loft, and the power of the law is fpent ; there are few fears, there are no bluflies. The lewd inflame the lewd^ the audacious harden the audacious. Every one fortifies himfelfas he can againft his own fen- fibility, endeavour's to praftlfe on others the arts which are pradlifed on himfelf ; and gain^ the kindnefs of his aflbciates by fimilitude of manners. >> * Thu« fome fink amidft their mifery, and others furvive only to propagate villainy. It may be hoped that our Lawgivers will at length take away from lid this power of ftarving and depraving one another : But, if there be any reafon why this inveterate evil fhould not be removed in our age, which true policy has enlightened beyond any fonner time, let thofe, whofe writings form the opinions and thepradtices of their contemporaries, endeavour : t« 'J \\ /" '3«. evil; *rhich :wccn Vigatc mpu- id the Lwe of jf the are no 3^ the ry one ivi fen- irs the lgain$ ude of .31 f.: ' and . It vill at aiving lere be Id not cy has , let s and eavour t9 N? 3?. The I D1 E Ri tx'f to transfer the reproach of fuch imprifonment from the Debtor to the Creditor, till univcr- ial infamy fhall purfue the wretch, whofe. wantonncfs of power, or revenge of difap- poin'tment, condehans another to torture and to ruin ; till he (hall be hunted through th«^ world as an enemy to man, and find in riches no Ihelter from contempt. *^ ■•■». Surely, he whofc Debtor has perifhed in prifon, though he may acquit himfelf of deli- berate murder, muft at leaft have his mind clouded with difcontcnj, when he confiders how much another has fufFcrcd from him; when he thinks 6n the wife bewailing her htfoind, or the children begging the bread which their father would have earned. , If ^thcre are any made fo obdurate by avarice or cruelty, as to revolve thefe consequences without dread or pity, .1 muft leave them to be awakened by fome other power, for I write only to human. Beings, ,jfjj5,jf ^Q pixi^'j^^t 5,^J ji;d ^^rr: ii< '■■ (i i«>v^ tvU ;){ I r"^o DCio^i ^xttxA qt lis 1o nohllibf;- ziw \ \ >. ',; 4 .'i- y. 1 Ilffi 2i8 «»■ ejlii«.«J>^'^Ji'.'/ N^ 39. Saturday, January i^.r.^, ■ y- 7i //;^ IDLER. ,r>,r .. Sir, . '' A S none look more diligently about them ^^ than thofe who have nothing to dc, or who do nothing, J fuppofe it has not efcaped yourobfcrvation, that the Bnicelet, an ornament of great antiquity, has been for fome years re- vived among the Englijh Ladies. ? jr^|, ,^,j , ,, The genius of out nation is faid, I know not for what reafon, to appear rather in im- provement than invention. The Bracelet was known in the earlieft ages ; but it was formerly only a hoop of gold, or a clufter of jewels, and (hewed nothing but the wealth or vanity of the wearer, till our Ladies, by carrying Pi(Slures on their wrifts, made their ornaments w^rks of fancy and exercifes of judgr^ient. This addition of art to luxury is one of the innumerable proofs that might be given of the late ijniiPujiiii5fS'*'V»3g. TXtf Idler. ai9 late incrcafc of female erudition j and I have often congratulated myfelf that my life has happened at a time when thofe, on whom fo much of human felicity depends, have learned to think as well as fpeak, and when rcfpeci takes poflefliDn of the car, while love is en- tering at the eye. . . , .^^ 5 I HAVE ol:>rerved, that, even by the fufFrages of their own fex, thofe Ladies are accounted wifeft, who do not yet difdain to be tayghf ; and therefore I fl^all oh aX?\v hints dr the completion of the Bracelet, without any dread of the fate of Orpheus, , . u ,;t , To the Ladies who wear the Pitflures of their hulbands or children, or any other near relations, I can offer nothing more tlecentor more proper. It is reafonable to believe that file intends at leaft to perform her duty, who carries a perpetual excitement to recolle6lion and caution, whofe own ornaments muil up- braid her with every failure, and who, by any open violation of her engagements, muft for ever forfeit her Bracelct.,,;j,snn i rbiw&viv^-' • __ Ti ^^^'* ■'^'^■' 11 ■. ;>/v^ '•'»^<^' -''a Yet 1 know not whether it is tiie intereit r\ the hufband to foil ic it very earneftly a place h i. Oil 220 Tie Idler. N** 39* on the Bracelet. If his image be not in the heart, it is of fmall avail to hang it on the hand. A hufband encircled with diamonds and rubies may gain feme eftcem, but will never excite love. He that thinks himfelf moft fecure of his wife, ihould be fearful of perfecuting her continually with his prefence. The joy of life is variety ; the tendereft love requires to be re- kindled by interval's of abfence, and Fidelity herfelf will be wearied with transferring her eye only from the fanie Man to the fame marc. ^" -»5.>..o^/m^fT.p| 3c«^.w, "In many^a)untries the condition of every woman is known by her drefs. Marriage is rewarded with fome honourable diftin6t;on which Celibacy is forbidden to ufurp. Some fuch information a Bracelet might afFord. The Ladies might enroll themfelves in diftin£t chfles, and carry in open view the emblems of their orderl 'The Bracelet of the Authorefs may exhibit the Mufes in a Grove of Laurel j the Houfewife may fhew Penelope with her Web ; the Votrefs of a fingle life may carry iJrfula with her troop of Virgins ; the Gamc- |ler may have Fortune with her Wheel ; and ihofe Wojneji that have no Chara^cr at all ■■.■■ ■ ■ : may fame may N*'39- The Id l br. 22 «: ihay difpky a Field of white Enamely as im- ploring help to fill up the Vacuity. « .# ■■> ■/■, j ' 'i • • ' y ». ■ • . -iv f> ' '''There is a fet «)f Ladies who have out- lived moft animal pleafurfes, iwid having no- thing rationat to put in their place, folace with Cards the lofs of what Time has taken away, and the want of what Wifdom, having never been courted, has never given. For thefe I know not how to provide a proper decoration. They cannot be numbered among the Gamc- ilers, for though they are alwayv at play they play for nothing, and never rife to the dignity of Hazard or the reputation of Skill. They neither love nor are loved, and cannot Jie fup- pofed to contemplate any human imgge with <5!el^ght. Yet though they defpair to.pIeafe» ihiy always wifli to be fine, and thei^efore r.:vjr )t be without a Bracelet. To this Si- ftejliod I can recommend nothing more like- ly to pleafe them than the King of Clubs, a a perfonage very comely and majcftick, who will never meet their eyes without reviving the thought of ^ome paft or future party, an4 who may be difplayed in the a£l of dealing with ^race and propriety. i J .%\ J' -I... 4* --■.>.».,» 4 ->i*. ii . ^ft Lj But li 222 ne IptER. N0 39ii But the Bracelet which might be moft ea- fily introduced into general ufe is a fmall con- vex Mirror, in which the Lady may fee her- fclf wheu^cv^r fhe ihajt l^t her hand. This will be ^ perpetual ipurce of delight. Other ornamf*nts ^u^e of ufe only 4n publick, but this will fm i' jjratifications to folitude. This will fhew '^ ce that muft always pleafe ; fbe who is followed by Admirers will carry about her a perpetual juftific^on of the publick. voice i and ih« w^o pailes without notice ma/ appeal from p;«jtidice to her own eyes. ^ But I know not why tihc Privilege of the Bracelet 0iould be confined to Women j it i^as in £pimer ages worn by Heroes in bat^^^e i a^d as mod^n Soldiers are always diftinguiiV f d by fplendpur of drefs, I (houki |[e]oice to |e« the Bracelet added tp the Cockade. In hope of this ornamental innovation, I have fpcnt fomc thcugnts Upon military Brace- lets. There is no paifion more heroic than Love, and theiefoie I fliould be glad to fee th^ Sons of Rnglond marching in the field, every man with the Picture of a Woman of Honour bound up9n his hapd. But (ince io the Army, u>l -Vi-^1 N*^39- T&e Idler. 223 as every where clfe, there will always be Men who love nobody but themfelves, or whom na Woman of Honour will permit to love her, there is a neceflity of fome other diflindlions and devices. ■ ' • ' -' '" ' I HAVE read of a Prince who having loft a town, ordered the name of it to be every morning (houted in his ear till it (hould be re- covered. For the fame purpofe I think the profpe6l of Minorca might be properly worn on the hands of fome of ourGencrals: Others might delight their Courtrymen, and dignify themfelves, with zVicw of Kochefort as it ap- peared to them at Sea : Atid thofe that (halt return from the conqueft of JmerUa^ may exhibit the Warehoufe of Frontenac^ with an infcription denoting, that it tvas taken in lefs than three years by tefs than twenty thoufand men« :. .^■.;^>i^,x.:. \ Iaiin,..Sir, .&c, ■'■ ■-v.m:V .v-j vo "--".x r ■. .. , ^ -... ■, ;• Tom Tor/ '- i< ./^'•ii ^Aii'J:^ ^o Jt'ii^eu \l.M) • , <'?. J ■ . - ■ . ' . • . » 4 , ■ >'' X. 4 T. N040. > ii ;224 TCbe Idler. N<^4o. ;,v i>.i.'ti'^ ♦jiifi'il .-mI',^ N^ 40. Saturday^ January 20. 'T^HE practice of appending to the narrai- tives of public, tranfa^lions^ more mi- . nute and domeftic intelligence, and filling the News-papers with advertifements, has grown up by flow degrees to its prefcnt ftate, ^"^ - -ii i, Genius is ihewn only by Invention. The man who firft took advantage of the general • curiofity that was excited by a fiege or battlc^ • to betray tbe Readers of News into the know- • ledge of the (hop where the beft Puffs and /Powder were to be fold,^ was lindoubtiedly a man . of great fagacity, and profound {kill in the nature o^ Man. But when he had once ihewn theway, \t was eafy to follow him ; and every man now knows a ready method of informing the Publick of all that he defires to buy or fell, whether his wares be material or intellectual ; whether he makes Cloaths, or teaches the Mathemati . s ; whether he be a Tutor that wants a Pupil, or a Pupil that wants a Tutor. What*- * V f the genuine fublime, that there is now ar- rived another fubje£t yet more worthy of his jpcn. AfatMui Mohawk Indian Warrior y who took Diefkaw the French General pr if oner ^ dref- fed in the fame manner with the native Indians when they go to war'y with his face and body paintedy with his fcalping knife y Tom-axy and all other implements of war : A fight worthy the curiofity of every true Briton ! This is a very powerful defcription j but a Critic of great refinement would fay that it conveys ra- ther iwrrfr than terror* An Indiany drefled as he goes to war, may bring company together j but if he carries the fcalping knife and torn ax, le Britons that will never be niany |erfaaded to fee him but through a grate. It i t'. * » rbe It ' It has been remai'ked by the fevcrer judges, that the falutary forrow of tragick fcencs is too foon effaced by the merriment of the Epi- logue; the fame inconvenience arifes from the improper difpofition of Advertifements. The nobleft objefts may be To aflbciated as to be made ridiculous. The Camel and Drome- dary themfelves might have loft much of their dignity between The true Flower of Muftard and The Original Daffy's Elixir ; and I could not but feel fome indignation when I found this illuftrious Indian Warrior imnlediately fuc- ceeded by Aj^'ejh Parcel of Dublin Butter. 10 * 'The trade ofaavertifing is now fo near to perfection, that it is not eafy to propofe any improvement. But as every art ought to be exercifed in due fubordination to the publick good, I cannot but propofe it as a moral quef- tlon to thefe matters of the publick eiar. Whe- ther they do not fometimes play too wanton- ly with our paffions, as when the Regifter of Lottery Tickets invites us to his (hop by aii account of the prize whith he fold laftycar; and whether the advertlfing Cont^overtrfts do not indulge afper^ity of language without any adequate provocation ; as in the difpute about ,j. .,^. s<| L 6 &tra^s 22t ne Idler, Straps for Razors ^ now happily fubfided, and in the altercation which at prefent fubfifts coi^^ cerning Eau de Luce, . ..- . - i;^^ In an Adveftifement it is allowed to every man to fpeak well of himfclf, but I know not why he fhould aflumc the privilege of cen- Turing his neighbour. He may proclaim his own virtue or (kill, but ought not to cxcludj others from the feme pretenfions. *:; n^^ft" n Every man that advertifes his own excel- lence, fhould write with fome confcioufncfs of a chara£ler whfch dares to call the attentioh . of the Publick. He fhould remember that his nanib is to f!and In the fame Paper with thofe of the King of Fruffta^ and the Emperor of Germany ^^^vidi endeavour to make himfelf worthy of fuch aflbciatiori. ' " .^r^ ""7 » 1^ . J Some rcgard'is likewife to be paid to poA J tcrity. There are men of diligence andcuriofity who trcafure up the Papers of the Day merely becaufe others negled them, and in time they will be fcarce. When thcfe collections fhaH be read, in another century, how will numberlefs contradictions be reconciled, and how fhill Fame be po^bly diflributed among the Tailors and Boddice-makcirs of the prefent age. Surely N''4o* The Idler. 22:9 ' StrkElY thefe things 3eferve conlideration. It is enough for me to havi^ hinted my defire that thefe abufes may be reftified ; but fuch is the ftate of nature, that what all have the right fi)f d'oing, many wHl attempt without fufEcicnt care or due qualHicatioiis, ^^-^ ' ^^ ■' .' ' - -^5 N** 4 1 . Saturday, January 27.. * ' fi^rr '.i*^ >»^-!2J, rr*H E following Letter relates to an afftic* * * tion perhaps not necefiary to be impart- ed to the Publick, but I could not perfuade myfelf to fupprefs it, becaufe I think I knew the iientinients to be fmcere, and I icel- no.dif- pofltion to provide ibr this day any other en* tertainment». . ;i?s«i.i.ii:ii/i4^ii^ i:t*i?^f«^ii^H^ j^'f? - ^ .- . ■ ^. »^ »;a^iJ:;■^-^♦it^^'j' i At tu qutjquts ens, mtfert qut cruda poettg Cndideris Jletu funera dignq tuoy,^,-^ Htec pojirima t'thifitjUndicaufayfiuctque ^ • ^ Lents inoffenfo vitaque morsquegradu, ,^ JS^ oTWiTHsf A!»?iJti^d \^e \Varmngs of Phl- lofophers, and the daily examples of lofies and i 230 The Idler. N^ 4^^. and misfortunes which life forces upon our obferN'ation, fuch is the abforption of oiir thoughts in the bufinefs of the prefent day, fuch the refignation of our reafon to empty hopes of future felicity, or fuch our unwilling^ nefs to forefee what we dread, that every cala- mity comes fuddenly upon us, and not only prefTes us as a burthen, but cruflics as a blow. ■ There arc cvifs which happen out of the common courfe of nature, againil which it is no reproach not to be provided^ A flafli of lightning intercepts the traveller in his way. The concui&on of an earthquake heaps the ruins of cities upon their inhabitants. But. other mifcries time bnngs, though filently yet vifibly forward by its even lapfe, which, yet approach us unfeen becaufe we turn our eyes away,, and feize us unrefided becaufe we could not arm ourfelves againft them^ but by fetting them before us. v«>. 'T'^.'''W. v^\v;\ vVCr That it is vain to mrlnk from what can* not be avoided, and to hide that from ourfelves which muft fome time be found, is a truth which we all know, but which allnegle£t,^nd perhapsxonc inore th^^ tjic fpecu)ativ« reafo,- »rti:7 •r r <■»?£■>*•' N*' 41. Tie Idler. 2 jf ner, whofe thoughts are always from homV, whofe eye wanders over life, whofe fancy dan*- ces after meteors of happinefs kindled by itfelf, and who examines every thing rather than his own ftatc. a .>ft ^^r-iiWiU iy<*v^i:r:i -.-.'>■■./ Nothing is more evident than that the decays of age muft terminate in death j yet there is no man, fays Tuiiy^ who does not be- lieve that he may yet live another year ; and there is none who does not, upon the fame pri.i- ciple, hope another year for his parent or his friend ; but the fallacy will be in time detect- ed i the laft year, the laft day muft come. It has come and is paft. The life which made my own life pleafant is at an end, and the gates of death are (hut upon my profpe6ls. ^ The lofs of a friend upon whom the heart was fixed, to whom every wifli and endeavouir tended, is a ftate of dreary defolation in which the mind looks abroad impatient of itfelf, and finds nothing but emptinefs and horror. The blamelefs life, the artlefs tendernefs, the pioiis fimplicity, the modeft refignationi, the patiertt ficknefs, and the qtiiet death, arc remcmberedl only to add value to the lofs, to aggravate re- .i,' I r 0- L E R. N*» 4:1. «3a TM gret farwKat cannot be amendied^tb; deepen forrow for what cannot be recallfed. I These are the calamiciei ly wWch ProvN dence gradually difcngages us horn the love of life. Other evils fortitudf may r^pel, or hope^ may mitigate ; b\it irrepatabfe privation leaves nothing to exercifc refolution or flatter expectation. The dead cannot return, and nothing is left us here but knguiGiment and grief* J ,,**■. • ^;> I YiT fuch is the courle of nature, that whoever lives long nuft outlive thofe whom be loves and honours. Such is the condition •*f o\ir prefent exiftenccy that life muit; one tyCiinc Icfe its ^aflbciations, and every inhabi- tont of the earth muft walk downward to the grave alone and unpegarded, without any /^ -partner of his j^ or grief, without any inter- ■efted witnds of hie misfortunes or fuccei*».f*^ '; ,; Misfortune, indeed, he may yet fetJ, ; for where is the bottom of the mifery of man ? JBut what is fuccefs to him that has Hone to ^cnjoy it. Ha|ipinefs is^ not found^in felf-con*- T tcmglation -, it is perceived Only when it is jrellefted from another- We w *! v.- >"V # m :'^' Wk know little of the ftate of departed fouls^ becstufe fuch knowledge is notnecelTary to a good life« R^sjCoHidefeits us ajt the brink of tha graven, ;md can give no further intelli- gence* Revelation is not wholly filent. Then ^^ jo^ in the Anj^els of Heaven over one Sinner that repenteth \ and fuiely this joy is npt inr communicable to fouls difentangled from the body^ and made like Angels. 4*^1 ^ Lit Hopte'flierefbrc dtcSbte,. what Revcli- tion does not confute, that the imionof fouls mayfHU remain j and that we who are ilrug- gling with fin, forrow, and infirmities, mjty have our p^rt in the attention and kindnefs «f thofe who have finifhed their tourie and are now receiving then: reward, * '"^«^^ These are the great occafions which force the mind Jto tajce refuge in Religion ; When we have no help in ourfelves, what can remain but th^t we look up to a. higher and a greater Power J and to what hope may we not rarfe our eyes and hearts, whe>i we confidcr thkt the Greateft Power is the Best* ^ n.iH *V*^^ :'?'*''' ••Q Surely 11 ! ■' 234 ^^^ Id'|ler. N^4^ Surely there is no man who, thus af- fli£led, does not feek fuccour in the Gofpely which has brought Life and Immortality t» light i The Precepts of Epicurusy who *iach* €s US to endure what the Laws of he Uni^ verfe make neceffary, may filcncc but not content us. The dnSlates of Zena^ who com- mands us to look with indiflference on exter- nai things, may difpofe us to conceal our for- row, but cannot aiTuage it; Real alleviatioi^ of the lofs of friends, and rational tranquiUity in the profpe6t of our own diflblutifm, can be received only from the promifes of him in> whofe hands are life and death, and from the afTurance of another and better ilate, in which all tears will be wiped from the eyes, and the whole ibut {hall be filled with joy. Philofophy may infufe fhibbornuefS) but Religion only ^an g»ve Patience^ lam, &€♦ im'.n'.^^ it ■■ ■ : ^^ '%%^^'n 4MI 1-03' !■ ii^l^lK?!^^ i>fi^^.^Sp, T[ .. Ji^^rtx.. v.* "¥''-'^''$: '^•^V N<^42. \\ N<^42' 7he Idle r. «3S N*^ 42. Saturday i February 3, !•» npHE fubjeft of the following Letter is not wholly unmentioned by the Rambler. The Spectator has alfo a Letter contain- ing a cafe not much different. I hope m/ Correfpondent's performance is more an efFoft of Genius, than effufion of the Paflions ; and that ihe hath rather attempted to paint (bme poiTtble diftrefs, than really feels the «^vil9 which 0ie has defcribed. m\ To the IDLE H. 42. S I R> ^ 4 'TpHERE is a caufe of Mifery, which, thpi certainly known both to you and your pred jcefTors, has been little taken notice of ia your Papers ; I mean the fnares that the bad behaviour of Parents extends over the paths of life which their Children ;are to tread after them ; and as I make no doubt but the Idler holds the fliield for Virtue, as well as the glafa for r Idler. ^36 : ^hi Idler. n'?4« for Folly, that he will employ his leifu'-e hours as much to his own fatisfa6lion in warning his Readers againft a danger, as in laughing them out of a fafliion ; For this rea- f6n I am tempted to afk admittance for my ftory in your Paper, tho* it has nothing to re- commend it but truth, and thehoneft wifh of warning others to (hun the track which I am afraid may lead me at lafl to ruin. « ^ . ' . ■' ^ *^ I'Am the chrld of a fatfieir, who having al- lBra)rs lived in one fpot in the country where he was born, and having had no genteel ediicatiofi hiiiifelf, thought no qualifications in the world defirable but as they led up to fortune, and ho learhlhg neceflary to happinefs but fuch as might thoft efFe£lually teach me to make the bcft market of myfelf : I was unfortunately >orn^ Beauty, to a full fenfe of which my fa- tier took care to flatter me ; and having, when very young, put me to a fchool in the country, afterwards tranfplanted me to another in town, at the inftigation of his friends, where his ill- judged fondnefs let me remain no longer thati to learn juft enough experience to convince me of the fordidnefs of hrs views, ^o give me an idea of pcrfe<^ions which my prefent fitua^ tion N" 42i the I D 1 E R. 37 tion will never fuffer me. to reach» and to teach me fufRcient morals to dare to defpife what K bad, tho* it be in a father. ' Thus equipped (as he thought completely) for life> I was carried back into the country^ ^nd lived with him and my Mother in a fmall village, within a few miles of the county town } where I mixed, at firil with reluctance, among company which, tho' I never defpifed> I could not approve, as they were brought up with other inclinations, and narrower views than my own. My Father took great pains to (hew me eyery where,' both at his own houfe, and at fuch publick diverfions as the country afforded : He frequently told the peo- ple all he had was for his daughter ; took care to repeat the civilities I had received from all his friends in London ; told how much I was admired, and all his little ambition could^fug^ geft to fet me in a firongcr light, , ^||, Thus have I continued tricked out for fale, as I may call it, and doomed, by parental au- thority, to a ftate little better, than thaiT of proftitution : I look on- myfelf as growing cheaper every hour, and am lofijig all that •honcft pride, that modeft confidence in which . .-r . . ■ #t the 2|f ne IDIER. N«'42. the virgin dignity confifts. Nor does my ihisfortune ftop here : Tho* many would be too generous to impute the follies of a Father to a Child whofe heart has fet her above them ; yet I am afraid the moft charitable of them wUL hardly think it poffiblfe for me to be a daily fpe^latreft of his vices vi^ithout tacitly allowing them, and at laft confenting to them, as the eye of the frighted infant is, by degrees, reconciled to the darknefs, of which at firft it was afraid. It is a coimmoir opinion, he himfelf nuift very well know, that vices, like difeafes, are often hereditary ; and that the property of the one is to infe£t the man- ners, as the other polfons the fprings of life. ' YjiT this, tho' bad, is not the worft ; my father deceives himfelf the hopes of the very child he has brought into the world ; he fuf- fers his houfe to be the feat of drunkennefs, riot, and irreligion ; who feduces, almoft in my fight, the menial fervant, converfes with the proftitute, and corrupts the wife ! Thus I, who from my earlieft dawn of reafon was taught to think that.at my approach every eye fparkled with pleafure, or was dejfcdted as con- icious of fuperior charms, am excluded from ' ' ■" • ' " ^ " :^ (bciety f 42« N^42- The lDLBR.yf,nf«:lv.239 focicty, thro* fear left I fhduld partake, if not of my father's crimes, at leaft of his reproach* Is a parent, who is fo little follieitous for the welfare of a child, better thrn a pirate who , turns a wretch a-drif^ in a boat at fea without; ^ a ftar to fteer by, or an anchor to hold it faft? Am I not to lay all my miferies at thofe doorsv which ought to have opened only for my pro- te not liave hfer . ^I ■jS\ s 'T'H E natural advantages which arife from 'the pofition of the Earth which we in- habit with refpedt to the other Planets, afford much employment to mathematical fpccula-' tion, by which it has been difcovered, that no other conformation of the fyftem could have ' given fuch commodious diftributions of llght^ and heat, or imparted fertility and pleafure to'' fo great a part of a revolving fphere. It may be pefhaps obferved by the Moral ift, with equal reafon, that our globe feems par-"* ticularly- fitted " for the rcfidenc^' 6f a Being, * placed here only for a ftiort time, whdfe tafk is to advance himfelf to a higher and happief ' ftate of exiftence, by unremitted vigilance of caution, and a(9:ivity of virtue. ** I T»E duties required of man are fuch as hu- man nature docs not willingly perform, and ; fuch as thofe are inclined to delay who yet in- tend tbmetime to fulfil them. It was there- , ' M fure 4, 1 tx^ - 24.2 7%e Idler. N^ 43* ^ fore neccflary that this univerfal relu(Slance I fhould be counterafted, and the drowfinefs of ,, hefitation wakened into refolve; that the^, danger of procraflination (hould be always in [ view, and the fallacies of fecurity be hourly^ detected, , ^To this end all the appearances of nature^ uniformly confpire. Whatever we fee ort eve-,{ ry fide, reminds us of the lapfe of Time and i the flux of Life. The day and night fucceed j each other, the rotation of feafons diverfifiesj the year, the fun rifes, attains the meridian, i declines and fets; and the moon every night/ changes its form. i The Day has been confidcred as an image of the Year, and the Year as the reprefentation . ©f Life. The Morning anfwers to the Spring, | and the Spring to Childhood and Youth j the v Noon correfponds to the Summer, and thej Summer tathe Strength of Manhood. The E- 1 vening is an emblem of Autumn, and Autumn «f declining Life. The Night with its Silence and Darfcnefs (hews the Winter, in which all the powers of Vegetation are benumbed ; and * the Winter points out the time when Life (hall ^ ceafe^ with its hopes and pleafures* ■- ' i-'f 4 t N«43* THe Idler. 14 j r He that is carried forward, however fwiftly, by a motton equable and cafy, perceives not the change of place but by the variation of objei^s. If the wheel of life, which rolls thus filently along^pafled on through undiflinguifhable uni-* formity, we fhould never mark its approaches to the end of the courfe. If one hour were like another j if the paflage of the Sun did not (hew that the day is wafting ; if the change of fca- fons did not imprefs upon us the flight of the year, quantities of duration equal to days and years would glide unobferved. If the parts of time were not varioufly coloured, we ihould never difcern their departure or fucceflion, but fliould live thoughtlefs of the paft, and carelefs of the future, without will, and perhaps with- out power to compute the periods of life, or to compare the time which is already loft with ;^ that which may probably remain. ^ But the<:ourfe of time is fo vifibly marked, that it is even obferved by the birds of paflage, and by nations who have raifed their minds very little above animal inftind^ : there are human beings, whofe language does not fupply them with words by which they can number five, but I have read of none that have not names for Day and Night, for Summer and Winter. M 2 Yet \. t44 7he Idler. N«43, Yet it is certain that thefe admonitions of nature, however forcible, however importu- nate, are too often vain ; and that many who mark with fuch accuracy the courfe of time, appear to have little fenfibility of the decline of life. Every man has fomething to do which he negledts i every man has faults to conquer which he delays to combat. , ^ So little do we accuftom ourfelves to con- fider the efFe<5ts of time, that things neceflary and certain often furprize us like unexpect- ed contingencies. We leave the Beauty in her bloom, and, after an abfence of twenty - years, wonder, at our return, to find her fa- ded. We meet thofe whom we left Children, and can fcarcely perfuade ourfelves to treat them as men. The Traveller vifits in age ,^ thofe countries through which he rambled in his youth, and hopqs for merriment at the old place. The Man of Bufmefs, wearied with iinfatisfa£lory profperity, retires to the town of his nativity, and expeds to play away the laft years with the companions of his child- hood, and recover youth in the fields where ■ he once was young. r'J'i ;«', ,,«B^.--'- FSLOM ■n ■■i N** 44- The Idler. 245 From this inattention, fo gcneml and To mifchievous, let it be every man's ftudy to ex- empt himfelf. Let him that defires to fee o- thers happy, make hafte to give v/hile his gift can be enjoyed, and remember that every mo- ment of delay takes away fomething from the value of his benefa6lion. And let him who purpofes his own happinefs, reflect, that while he forms his purpofe the day rolls on, and the night comet h when no man can work. N^44. Saturday 9 February 17. TV/r EMORY is, among the faculties of the human mind, that of which we make the moft frequent ufe, or rather that of ^ which the agency is inceflant or perpetual. Memory is the primary and fundamental pow- er, without which there could be no other intelle£tual operation. Judgment and Ratio- cination fuppofe fomething already known, and draw their decifions only from experience. . Imagination feleds ideas from the treafures of ^1?^;; .^ M3 Remem- 11146 The Idler, N** 44^ Remembrance, and produces novelty only by varied combinations. We do not even form conjeAures of diflant, or anticipations of fu- ture events, but by concluding -what is poifi« bile firom what is paA. 4 The two offices of Memory are Colleton and Diftribution ^ by one images are accumu- lated, and by the other produced for ufe. Col- kdtion is always the employment of our fiifft years, and Diftribution commonly that of our advanced age. To colle£l and repofite the various forms of things, Js far the moft pleafing part of men-* tal occupation. We are naturally delighted with novelty, and there is a time when all that we fee is new. When firft we enter into the world, whitherfoever we turn our eyes, they meet Knowledge with Pleafure at her fide j every diveriity of Nature pours ideas in upon the foul : neither fearch nor labour are necef*. fary ; we have nothing more to do than to o- pen our eyes, and curiofity is gratified. Much of the pleafure which the firft furvey of the world affords, is exhaufted before we are confcious of our own felicity, or able tf compare •1.'' f . t ' .-'»'■ N*' 4^ The Idler. 247 compare our condition with ibmc other poili- , ble flatc. We have therefore few traces of the joy of our carMefl difcoveries ; yet we all re- member a time when Nature had To many ulitafted gratifications, that every excurfion ' gave delight which can now be found no lon- ger, when the noife of a torrent, the ruftle of a wood, the fong of birds, or the play of lambs, had power to fill the attention, and fufpend- all perception of the courfe of time. But thefe eafy pleafures are foon at anend'; we have feen in a very little time fo much, that we call out for new objects of obfervition, and endeavour to find variety in books and life. But fludy IS laborious, and not always fatisfac- tory ; and Converfation has its pains as well as pleafurcG, we are willing to learn, but not wil- ling to be taught ; we are pained by ignorance^ but pained yet more by another's knowledge* From the vexation of pupillage men comi- monly fet themfelves free about the middle of life, by (hutting up the avenues of intelligence, and refolving to reft in their prefent ftate; and they, whofe ardour of enquiry continues lon- j ger, find themfelves infenfibly forfaken by their ' M 4 inftru(5lorsr -248 'ne Idler. N« 44. inftru6iors. As every man advances in life, the proportion between thofe that are younger, ^nd that are older than himfelf, is continu- ally changing j and he that has lived half a century, finds few that do not require from him that information which he once expelled from thofe that went before him. ,.*» ' Then it is that the magazines of memory are opened, and the ftores of accumulated knowledge are difplayed by vanity or benevo- lence, or in honeft commerce of mutual inter- cft. Every man wants others, and is therefore glad when he is wanted by them. And as few men will endure the labour of intenfe medita- tion without neceffity, he that has learned e- nough for his profit or his honour, feldom en- deavours after further acquifitions. »•■■ ^ The pleafure of recollecting fpeculative no- tions would not be much Icfs than that of gaining them, if they could be kept pure and iinmingled with the paflages of life ; but fuch is the necefTary concatenation of our thoughts, tliat good and evil are linked together, and no pleafure recurs but aflbciated with pain. Eve- ry revived idea reminds us of a time when iomc thing was enjoyed that is now lofl", when ' lome ^ '. ■■*&,- .N<^44. TAe Idler, fome hope was yet not blafted, when fome purpofe had yet not languifhed into iluggilh- nefs or indifference. Whether it be that life has more vexations than comforts, or, what is in the event juft the fame, that evil makes deeper impreffion than , good, it is certain that few can review the time paft without heavinefs of heart. He remembers many calamities incurred by folly, many oppor- tunities loft by negligence. The (hades of the dead rife up before him, and he laments the, companions of his youth, the partners of his amufements, the affiftants of his labours, whom the hand of death has fnatched away. When an offer was made to Themijiocks of teaching him the art of Memory, he anfwered', that he would rather wifh for the art of For- getfulnefs. He felt his imagination haunted by phantoms of mifery which he was unable to fupprefs, and vrould gladly have calmed his thoughts with fome obliviom antidote. In this we all refembl^ one another ; the hero and the fage are, like vulgar mortals, overburthened by the weight of life, all fhrink from recollec- tionj and all wifli for an art of Forgetfulnefs. ; Ms No 45. VI ,. 2SO Tie Idle K. K«^ 45, 'Mfirl N" 45. Saturday, February 24. np H £ R £ is in many minds a kind of v»* nity exerted to the difadvantage of thenr- felves 5 a defire to be pratfed for foperior a-r cutenefs, difcovered only in the degradation of their fpecies, or cenfure of their country* Defamation is fufficiently copious. The general lampooner of mankind may find long exercife for his zeal or wit in the Deie(5^s of Nature, the Vexations of Life, the Follies of Opinion, and the Corruptions of Pra£^rce« But Fi£^ion is eafier than Difcernment ; and moft of thefe Writers fpare themfelves the la- bour of enquiry, and exhauft their virulence upon imaginary crimes, which, as they never f xifted, can never be amended. ^ That the Painters find no encouragement among the Englijh for any other works than Portraits, has been imputed to national felf- libnefs* 'Tis vain, fays the Satyrif^, to fet before ,*■■■ N® 45. The Idler. 251 before ^ny Englijhman the Scenes of Land- fcape, or the Heroes of Hiftory ; Nature and -Antiquity are nothing in his eye ; he has no value but for himfelf, nor defires any copy but of his own form. -^ * .Whoever is delighted with his own Pic-- ture muft derive his pleafure from the plea- fure of another. Every man is always prefent to himfelf, and has^ therefore, little need of his own refemblance ; nor can defire it, but for the fake of thofe whom he loves, and by' whom he hopes to be remembred; This ufe: Off the Art is a nahiral and reafonable confe- quence of afFe^ion, and though, like other human actions, it is often complicated with pride, yet even fuch pride is more laudable, than that by which Palaces are covered with. Piftures, that, however excellent, neither im* ply the owners virtue nor excite it.. GtNius is chiefly exerted'ih hiftbrical pic- tures, and the art of the Painter of Portraits iis often loll in the obfcurity of his fubjeft.- But it is in Painting as in Life j what is great* eft is not always beft. I fliould grieve to fee Mtynolds trznskt to Heroes and toGoddeffes^. i*^jujv«i • - M. 6> ' V - to- w . t I ■ 7 -252 TAe Idler. N<> 4^; to empty Splendor and to airy fiction, that art which is now employed in difFufing friend- (hip, in reviving tendernefs, in quickening the afFedlions of the abfentj^ and continuing the prefence of the dead. Yet in ^ nation great and opulent there i9 room, and ought to be patronage, for an Art like that of Painting through all its diverfities ^ and it is to be wiflied, that the reward now qf- fered for an Hiftorical Picture, may excite an honeft emulation, and give beginning to an -mn mMi: • . • • It is not very eafy to find an action or event that can be effijcacioufly reprefented by a Painter* , He rnuil have an aftion not fucceffive but inftantaneous ; for the time of a Picture is a fingle moment. For thiareafon, the death of Hercules cannot well be painted, tho' at the firft view it flattei:s the imagination with very glittering ideas. The gloomy mountain, over- jianging the fea and covered with trees> fome bending to the wind,, and fome torn from their roots by the raging Hero ; the violence, with which he rends from his fhoulders thq invenomed Vf V *»* "N*' 45. The Idler. 25 j invenomed garment ; the propriety with .which his mufcular nakednefs maybe difplay- w«d J the death of Lycas whirled from the pro- montory; the gigantic prefence oi FhiloS^tetes; the blaze of the fatal pile, which the Deities 'behold with grief and terror from the (ky. »• " All thefe images fill the mind, but will not compofe a Pifture, becaufe they cannot •be united in a fingle moment. Hercules muft have rent his flefti at one time, and toft 'Lycas into the air at another ; he muft firft tear up the trees, and then lye down upon the pile. V'^HB ao/^7« Prince feized by Achilles in the battle, falls at his feet, and in moving terms fuppli- cates for life. How can a wretch like thee^ fays the haughty Greeks ent it to live^ when thou knoweji that the time muji came when A- chilles is to die ? This cannot be painted, be- caufe no peculiarity of attitude or difpofitioa can fo fupply the place of language as to im- prefs the fentiment. ^- r> 254, yi-^ Idler, NP45. i The 6vcnt painted muft be fuch as excites pailion, and different paiTions in the feveral ailors, or a tumuk of contending paifions ia the chief* iw Perhaps the difcovery of Ulyjis by his nurfe is of this kind. The furprize of the ~ iaurfe mingled with joy; that of L/i^x check* cd by prudence^ and clouded by foHcitude ;. and the diftin^^nefs of the ad^ion^ by which. , the fear is foitnd, all concur to complete the &bje6^« But the Pii^ure having only two. figures will want variety.. A MUCH noblfer aflemblage may be fur-^ // niihed by the death of Epaminondas, The mixtur£ of gladhefs and grief in the face of the meffenger who brings his dying General an account of the vi^ory, the various paffions. of the attendants^ the fublimity of compofure in the Hero, while the dart is by his own com- mand drawn from his fide, and the faint gleam €)f fatisfadtion that diffufes itfelf over the Ian- guor of death, are worthy of that pencil whicl^, yet I do not wilh to fee employ£:d upon thenip Ik the defigil were not t^ multifarious and fxtcniivey I ihould wifh that our Painters . ' would N*'4^ The Idler. 255 would attempt the diflblution of the Parlia-' ment by Cromweh The point of time may^ be chofen, when Cromwely looking round the Pandemonium with contempt, ordered the bauble to be taken away ; and' Harrifm laid' bands on the Speaker to drag him from the chair. The various appearances, which rage, and' terror, and ailoniihment, and guilt, might exhibit, m the faces of that hateful Aflembly,. of whom the principal perfons may be faith- fully drawn from Portraits, or Prints j the ir- refolute repugnance of fome, the hypocritical fubmiilions of others,, the ferocious infolence %>iCrom'wety the rugged brutality oS Httrrifotty and the general trepidation of fear and wicked- ncfs, would, if fome proper difpofition could be contrived, make a pi(5lure of unexampled: varietv* and irrefiffible inibru^lion*. . •4 ^eoaoee {? ■ ' J?., ■">»• N%6. 2s6 Tie Idler. N*'^^. "t-i- ' . II '. .\ N^ 46, Sa fur Jay, March 3. V-*.|.-. Mr, Idler, T Am encouraged, by the notice you have taken of Betty Broom^ to reprefent the mi- ; feries which I fuiFer from a fpecies of tyranny i'which, I believe, is not very .common, tho' perhaps it may have efcaped the obfervation of thofe who converfe little with fine Ladies, or fee them only in their publick characters. ■ ■* ■ ' V ■ ^ To this method of venting my vexation I am the more inclined, becaufe if I do not com- plain to you I muft burft in filence, for my ^^Miftrefs has teazed me and teazed me till I ■■ can hold no longer, and yet I mufl not tell her of her tricks. The girls that live in ccm- », mon fervices can quarrel, and give warning, and find other places ; but we that live with gie^t Ladies, if we once offend them, have no- thing left but to return into the country. I AM waiting-maid to a Lady who keeps the beft company, and is k^n at every place ^^ -n of N The Idler. %> 46. ^Itje IDLE R. 257 of fafliionable refort. I am envied by all the maids in the Square, for fewCountefles leave off fo many cloaths as my miftrefs, and no- , body (hares vi^ith me : fo that I fupply two fa- milies in the country with finery for the affizes and horfe-races, befides what I wear myfelf. The Steward and Houfe-keeper have joined againft me to procure rify removal, that they may advance a relation of their own, but their d^'figns are found out by my Lady, who fays I need not fear them, for ihe will never have Dowdies about her. m • * You would think, Mr. Idler ^ like others, that I am very happy, and may well be con- tented with my lot. But I will tell you. My Lady has an odd humour. She never orders any thing in direft words, for fhe loves a fharp girl that can take a hint. I WOULD not have you fufpedl that fhe has ■ any thing to hint which fhe is afhamed to fpeak at length, for none can have greater purity of fentiment, or retSlitude of intention. She has nothing to hide, yet nothing will fhe tell. She always gives her dire6lions obliquely and allu- fively, by the mention of fomething relative or A <• ^58 The Idler. N«46- or confequentjal, without any other purpofe than to exercifc my acutenefs and her own. It is impoflible to give a notion of this ftyle otherwlfe than by examples. One night, when fhc had fat writing letters till it was lime to be drefled, Molly ^ faid Ibc, the Ladles are all to he at Court to-night in white aprons* When (he means that I (houldlend to order the chair, (he fays, I think thejireets are dean^ I may veftturi to walk. When (he would have fomething put into its place, (he bids me lay it on the floor. If (he would have me fnufF the candles, (he aiks whether I think her eyes are like a cafs t If (he thinks her chocolate delayed, (he talkf of the benefit ofahfitnence^ If any needle>-woik is forgotten, fhe fuppofes that I have heard of the Lady who died by pricking her finger^ She always imagines that I can recall eve- ry thing paft from a fmgle word* If (he wants her head from the Milaner, fhe only fays, Molly t you know Mrs, Tape^ If (he would have the Mantua-maker fent for, (he remarks thatMrJTaffaty the Mercer was here laji week, She ordered, a fortnight ago, that the firft time ihe was abroad all day I ihould chufe her a -\ - new ■\ I^^46. The Idler. 259 new fett of coffee-cups at the china-(hop : of this fhc reminded me ycfterday, as (he was going down ftairs, by faying, Tm carCt find your way now to Ppll-maU, All this would never vex me, if, by en- creafing my trouble fhe fpared her own j but, dear Mr. Idler^ is it not as eafy to fay Coffee-^ Cups as Pall'Mally and to tell me in plain words what I am to do, and when it is to be done, as to torment her own head with the labour of finding hints, and mine with that of underflanding them. ' fc When firftl came to this Lady, i had no- thing like the learning that I have now ; for ihe has many books, and I have much time to read ; fo that of late I feldom have miffed her meaning : But when ihe firft took me, I was an ignorant girlj and fhe, who, as is very common, confounded want of knowledge with want of underflanding, began once to deCpair of bringing me to any thing, becaufe, when I came into her chamber at the call of her bell, ihe afked me. Whether we lived in Zembla, and I did not guefs the meaning of her tnquiry j but modefWy anfwered, that / • *> ♦ , -^ couid 26o The Idler. N*'46. cculd not ti.ll. She had happened to ring once when I did not hear her, and meant to put me in mind of that country, where founds are faid to be congealed by the. froft. ^ :/* '.t> i> Another time, as T was drefling her head, fhe began to talk on a fudden of Medufa^ and Snakes^ and Men turned into Stone, and Maids that, if they were not watched, would let their Miftrejfes he Gorgons, I looked round me half flighted, and quite bewildered ; till atlaft, finding that her Literature was thrown away upon me, fhe bid me, with great vehemence, reach the Curlinjr-irojis. 4 I It is not without fome indignation, Mr. JdUr, that I difcover, in thefe artifices of vex- ation, fomething worfe than foppery or ca- price ; ^ mean delight in fuperiority, which know^ 'tfclf in no danger of reproof or oppo- fition i a cruel pleafure in feeing the perplex- ity of a mind obliged to find what is ftudioufly concealed, and a mean indulgence of petty malevolence, tn the Iharp cenfure of involun- tary, and very often of inevitable, failings. When, beyond her expc(Slatioti, I hit upon her meaning, 1 can perceiv« a fudden cloud of difappoint- 'i N°46. The Idle*. 26 r difappointment fpread over her face, and have fometimes been afraid left I fhould lofe her favour by underftanding her, when (he means to puzzle me. This day, however, flie havS conqueicd my fagacity. When fhe went out of her dreffing- room, fhe faid nothing, but, Molly ^ you know, and haftened to her chariot. What I am to know is yet a fecret j but if I do not know, before flie comes back, what I yet have no means of difcovering, fhe will make my dull- nefs a pretence for a fortnight's ill humour, treat me as a creature devoid of the faculties necefTary to the common duties of life, and per- haps give the next gown to the Houfekeeper. ' I am. Sir, ' ' Your humble Servant, V . Molly Quick, !)■ » * NO 47, e62 T:he Idlbr. N*»47- A ■!■_;■»«'. ■ Vf;.:l .'lit , N^ 47. Saturday, March 10. ) !>. r« the IDLER. Mr. Idler, . * ii T Am the unfortunate Wife of a City Wit, ^x\A cannot but think that my cafe may i«><'H . . '. Ji. 4'V t«t i :h^ ; . * He foon tiegan to lofr fome of his morning hours in the i'ume folly, and was for one win- ^ ter 2 of ing N'' 47* 315^ Idler. 265 tcr very diligent in his attendance on theRe- hearfals ; but of this fpecies of idlenefs he grew weary, and faid, that the Play was no- thing without the Company. His ardour for the diverfion of the even- ing increafed 5 he bought a fword, and paid five (hillings a night to lit in the Boxes j he went fometimes into a place which he calls the Green-room, where all the Wits of the age aflemble ; and when he had been there, could do nothing, for two or three days, but repeat their jefts, or tell their difputes. , v ; .. He has now loft his regard for every thing but the Play-houfe ; he invites, three times a week, one or other to drink Claret, and talk of the Drama. His firft care in the morning is to read the Play-bills ; and if he remembers any lines of the Tragedy which is to be re- prefented, walks about the (hop, repeating them fo loud, and with fuch ftrange geftures, that the palTengers gather round the door. Jit His greateft pleafure when I married him, was to hear the fituation of his fhop com- mended, and to be told how many eftatcs hav» been g^ot in it by the fame trade ; but of !at<; K Hi <\V' 266 ^he Idler. N' 47. he grows peevifh at any mention of bufinefs, and delights in nothing fo much as to be told ' that he fpeaks like Mojfop,. * Among his new aflbciates, he has learned another language, and fpeaks in fuch a ftrain, that his neighbours cannot underfland him.. If a cuftomer talks longer than he is willing to hear, he will complain that he has been excruciated with unmeaning verbofity; he laughs at the letters of his friends for their tamenefs of expreffion, and often declares himfelf weary of attending to the minutiae of afliop. ..= '»;. V- .' --■• '• ♦_• i;--: V - ■.' ' It is well for me that I know how to keep a book, for of late he is fcarcely ever in the way. Since one of his friends told him that he had a genius for Tragick Poetry, he has locked liimfelf in an upper room fix or feven hours a day, and when I carry him any paper to be Tcad or figned, I hear him talking vehemently to himfelf, fometimes of Love and Beauty, fometimes of Friendfliip and Virtue, but more frequently of Liberty and his Coiintry. I WOULD gladly, Mr. Idler ^ be informed' what to think of a Shopkeeper, who is incof- ^^ - - - ' iiintly >>v« itly ^^ A7' T^he Idler." 267 fantly -talking about Liberty ; a word, which, fince his acquaintance with polite life, my Hu(band has always in his mouthj he is, on all occafions, afraid of our Liberty, and de- clares his refolution to hazard all for Liberty, What can the man mean ? I am fure he has Iiiberty enough ; it were better for him and me if his Liberty was leflfened. .; j ,, He has a Friend whom he calls a Critick, that comes twice a week to read what he is writing. This Critick tells him that his piece is« little irregular, but that fome detached fcenes will fhine prodigioufly, and that in the char»<^er of Bofnbulushe is wonderfully great. My Scribbler then fqueezes his hand, calls him the beft of Friends, thanks him for his iincerity, and tells him that he hates to be flat- tered. I have reafon to believe that he feldom parts with his dear Friend without lending him two guineas, and ani afraid that he gave bail for him three days ago. , . I .... ^ * By this couife of life our credit as Tradeps is K'flened, and I cannot forbear to fufpecl^thut my Hulband's honour as ivWit is not much ad- vanced, for he feeins to he always the lovvcil N 2 <»f V 1"-»" 268 sre^ Idler. of the company, is afraid to tell his opiraon till the reft have fpoken. When he was be- hind his counter, he ufed to be brifk, a> ,.r/'- ■U X t . \ I . >■;;• N<*48. Saturday y March 17. < npHERE is no kind of idlenefs, by which "^ we are fo eafily feduced, as that which dignifies itfelf by the appearance of bufinefs, and by making the loiterer imagine that he has fomething to do which myft not be neg- lected, keeps him in perpetual agitation, and hurries him rapidly from place to place* 1 • > N%8. rhe Idler. 269 ,' H£ that fits ftill, or repofes himfelf upon a couch, no more deceives himfelf than he deceives others ; he knows that he is doing ' nothing, and has no other folace of his inftg- ' nificance than the refolution which the lazy hourly make, of changing his mode of life. To do nothing every man is afhamed, and , to do much almoft every man is unwilling or afraid. Innumerable expedients have there- fore been invented to produce motion without labour, and employment without folicitude. The greater part of thofe whom the kindncfs ' of fortune has left to their own direction, and whom want does not keep chained to the coun- . . ter or the plow, play throughout life with the . ihadows of bufuiefs, and know jiot at lall wh^c they have been doing. ^^ ^ \ These imitators of adion are of all deno- minations. Some are feen at every Au£tion without intention to purchafe ; others appear punctually at the Exchange^ though they are known there only by their faces. Some are always making parties, to vifit CoUedions for which they have no tafte, and fome negledt every pleafure and every duty to heai qucftions N 3 IIV 'r 270 T'ie Idler. N*^ 4S. in which they have no intereft, debated i^i Parliament. , ^rd ; <^*0^^ *»>■ ; These men never appear more ridiculousj than in the diftrefs which they imagine them- felves to feel, from fome accidental interrup- tion of thofe empty purfuits. A Tiger newly imprifoned is indeed more formidable, but noC more angry than Jack Tulip with-held from a Florift's feaft, or Tom Diftich hindered from- feeing the firjft reprefentation of a Play. .4, >n-*;?;x«: As political affair^ are the higheft and moft extenfive of temporal concerns ; the mimick of a Politician is more bufy and important than any other trifler. Monfieur /^ ^0/r, a man who,, without property or importance hi any cornerof the earth, has^ in the prefent con- fufion of the world, declared himfelf a fteady adherent to the French^ is made miferable by a wind that keeps back the packet-boat, and ilill more miferable, by every account of a Malouin privateer caught in his cruize; he knows well that nothino; can be done or faid by him which can produce any effect but that of laughter, that he can neither haften nor re- tard good or evil, that his joys and forrows ; ^ A- have .» t* in 1^4^- T/je Idler. 271 have (carcely any partakers j yet fuch is bis zeal, and fuch his curiofity, that he would run barefooted to Gravefend^ for the fake of know- ing firft that the Englijh had loft a tender, and would ride out to meet every mail from tlic Continent if he might be permitted to open it. 'Learning is generally confeflcd to be de- ferable, and there are fome who fancy them- felves always bufy in acquiring it. Of thefo ambulatory Students, one of the moft bufy is my friend Tom Rejllcfs^ ^ :*- .^ jfiu* ;» v» v'om has long had a mind to be a man of knowledge, but he does not care to fpend much time among Authc , for he is of opi- nion that fc /^ books deferv^ he labcr of "per- ufal, that tney give the mind an unfaihiona- ble cafl", and deftroy that freedom of thought and eafmefs of mannei's tndifpenfibly requiftte to acceptance in the world. Tom has there- fore found another way to wifdom» When he rifes he goes into a CofFee-houfe, where he creeps fo near to men whom he takes to be reafoners as to vea. their difcourfe, and endea- vours to remembc ! fomething which, when it has been ftrained Uiro' Tonis head^ is io near N 4 to ^^^^o. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) V <^' 4^"^ 1.0 I.I lii,2J 2.0 ■so ffliil '•2^ll'-^ •* ^ 6" ► Hiotographic Sciences Corporation 3i WfSTMAINSTRElr WEBSTER, NY. 14580 (716) 872-4503 \i' 'i *72 Tie Jottn. N»^« *o nothing that wh,» • /^ 45. fr'^nd to foe™! ,h". ?'"" ''"""'J from and a, every el.T- " '"^ * "«>« himfelf, young a man can talk fo wifely. W wh«, ift^"» f''"'i '^''''^ he half would UnMft'a^ ^ *' "'"'''' '■• •e» down full of ideas, and rlilTh! "^ ' ing empty « before. """'**'" *e mom- »:-.i,-;, , >^ ' i ■ i lUy t't ^A# M /■:«^ .AM, - ?iJ*'^->-^ :/ .^^'£ '.,ii ■I' N° 49. Saturday^ March 24. T St/PPEt) three Highfs"2go with my friencf ^// Marvel, His JaflTairs obliged him ^ lately to take a journey into Deven/hire^ from , -ivhich he has juft returned. He knows me to fce a very patient hearer, and was glad of my (Company, as it gave him ari opportunity of disburthening himfeLf by a minute relation of the cafualties of his expedition.^^ss srabiigj rHv . ■f^ ■^^n Will is not one of thofe who go out and return with nothing to tell. He has a ftory of his travels, which will ftrike a home-bredclti- zen with hprrpi*? and has in ten days fiiHef ed fo often the extremes of terror aiid joy, th»t he is in doubt whether he fiiall ever agaiii expofe either his body or mind to fuch danger and fa-* . ^:^-h "^: j.! .; .W-%^ ■..: ' i\ ^r;jo' ni?r!':Jn ' When he" left London the morning: wa» bright, and a fair day was promifed. Buff ^iU is^btp/n to ftruggle ^ith difficulties. That hap- N 5 pcned r--p'^:»; 'I ■ \ \ / 274 Tie I D L E R. N» 4a. pened to him, which has fometimes, perhaps^ happened to others. Before he had gone more th'an ten miles it began to ram. What courfe was to be taken T His foul difdained to turn back. He did what the King of Pruffia might liave done, he flapped his hat, buttoned up his ^ape, and went forwards, fortifying his mind; by the ftoical confolation^ that whatever is, vibfeht will be (hort., :i.i\\:i^-j'i^vi^. ^tlvt ^ Ills conftancy was not Tong trfed'; at m^. diflance of about half a mile he faw an inn^; whidi he entered wet and wear}r> and' found': civil treatment and proper refrefhmeEt* After. a recite of about two hours he looked abroad^, and feeing the iky clear, called for his horfe an<} pafied the firft ftage without any othejr jn^PU^aWe accident. rAxv/ ^v '%l^ • -WiuL confidered, that liabour muff be re*-^ Ileved by pleafure, and that the ftrength which greftt undertakings require muff be maintained by ^copious nutriment; he therefore ordered" himfdf an elegant -Tupper, drank two bottles of daret, and pafled the beginning of the night in found fleep ; but waking before light, was forewarned of the troubles of the next 4ay, by a (bower beating againft his windows. with - yi * '1; / N^.4?. TAe Idler. 275 with futh violence as to threaten the diilblu^; tion of nature. When he arofe he found what he expelled, that the country was under wa-' ten He joined himfelf,. however, to a com-' pany that was travelling the fame way, and came fafely to the place of dinner, tho* every flep of his horle dafhed the mud into the air. ] ♦I In the afternoon, having parted from Mw Gompanyy he fet forward alone, and paiTed many colle(5lions of water of which it was* impoffible tO'guefs the depth, and which her' BOW cannot review without fome cenfure of his own rafhnefs ; but what a man undertake? he muft perform, ^nd Marvel h^ites a coward' at his heart. ^ ^H-^^M^^r^r.; >^f i^^^^i in. .v»'«ii m^. Few that lie warm in their beds, think what others undergo, who have perhaps been as ten- derly educated, and have as acute fenfations as themfelves. My friend was now to lodge the fecond night almoft fifty miles from home, in a houfe which he never had feen before, among people to whom he was totally a ftranger, not knowing whether the next man he fhould meet would prove good or bad ; but feeing an inn of a good appearance, he rode refolutely into the. ^- V ■• V • ,, .. N 6 yardj, ^j: ^*'^^-^' and met not a fingle foul for two miles together with whom he could exchange a word. He cannot deny that, looking round upon the drea- ry region, and feeing nothing but bleak fields and naked trees, hills obfcured by fogs, antt flats covered with inundations, he did for fome time fiifFer melancholy to prevail upon him, and wifhed himfelf again fafe at home. One comfort he had, which was to conflder, that none of his friends were in the fame diftrefs, for whom, if they had been with him, he ihould have fufFered more than for himfelf; he could not forbear fometimes to confider how happily the Idler is fettled in an eafier condition, who* furrounded like him with terrors, could have done nothing but lie down and die. Amidst ■^J ' Amiost theie reflections he came to a town knd found a dinner, which difpofed him to more chcarfid ientimfnts : but die joys of life are fhort> and its mtferie» are long ; he moun* ted and travelled fifteen miles mote thro' dirt and.defolatioo^ .yyn^'^^m'iJ^'S^^ '::^;N l4 * . . ~ .'..!• ^ » ' " -' - i i " . • At laft the fun Cety and all the horrors of darknefs came upon him. He then repented the weak indulgence by which he had gratified himfelf at noon with too long an interval of reft : yet he went forward along a path which he could no longer fee^fometimes rufhing fud- denly into water, and fometimes incumbered with ftifFclay, ignorant whither he %as goings and uncertain whether his next ftep might not bethelaft. .f^- >ii' iZ^jt ■ c}l^'>:f^' iSi.v^ In this difinal gloom of no6hirnal peregri- hation his horfc unexpeftedly ftood ftill. Mar- vel had heard many relations of the inftinft of horfes, and was in doubt what danger might be at hand. Sometimes he fancied that he was on the bank of a river ftill and deep, and fome- times that a dead body lay acrofs the track. H© fat ftill awhile to recoiled his thoughts ; and as he was about to alight and explore the dark- ^ nefs. Il ftjS Tie J D L B R.' N^ 49*. nefs^ out fteppe^ z man with- a lanterns and opened the turnpike, ^e hired a guide to the tawn> arrived in fafety^ and llept in quiet. ^ The reft of his journey was nothing but danger. He climbed and defcended precipices •n which vulgar mortals tremble to look ; he pafled marfhes like the Serhonian bogi where armies whole hcmt funk i he forded rivers where the current roared like the Egre of the Severn j or ventured himfelf on bridges that trembled under him^ from which, he looked down on foaming whirlpools,, or dreadful abyfles.; he wandered over houfelefs heaths,, amidfl all the rage of the Elements, with the fnow driving ia his face,, and the tempeft howling in his ears.. Such are the colours m yrVych Marvet paints his adventures. He haa accuffomed bimielf t& founding words and hyperbolicaV images, till he has loft the power of true de?- fcription. In a road through which the hea- vieft carriages pafs without difficulty, and the poft-boy every day and night goes and returns, he meets with hardfhips like thofe which are endured in Siberian deferts, and mifles no- thing of romantic danger but a giant aJid a ■»..* * dragoiu \\ dragon* When bis dreadful ftory i& told ii|[ proper terms» it is only, that the way was; dirty in winter, and that he experienced the common viciflitudes of rain and dmihiiie.. i -rO ■ ' I' .1 III I I. Ill 11 !■ > 50. Saturday, Marc£ ^rl t-'fjf .4« J i^ < Jk' 'T^ H E charaiSer otMr. jidfirvef has railecf the. merriment of fome and the contempt of others, who do not. fufficiently confider how often they hear and pradUfe the fapie, art& of exaggerated narcationt- I ""'I'^J Z-., 1 :\ • Xhere h not, perhapSj among the multi- tudes of all conditions that fwarm upon tha earth, a fingle' man who. does not believe that be has fomething extraordinary to relate of himfelf; and who dbes not, at one time oro- Aer, fummon the attention of his friends to the cafualties of his adventures and the vicif- fitudesof his fortune; cafualties and viciili- tudes that happen alike in lives uniform and diveifififdi to the Commander of armies j and: .: ^ ... tha. 11, l!ic Writer at a dcfk ; to the Sailor who re- ^glis htmfelir to the wind and watVi ^xA the Farmei: w^of^ longeft journey is to the mar- ket. '-'^^'-^^- -- L A- j/^n.; xordi ng to In the prefcnt ftatc of the world man may pa(6 thro' Shaiejpea/s fcven ffages of life, and meet jiothine fingularor wonderful. Buffuch js every mairs attention to himfelf, that what is common and unheeded when it is only feen, becomes remarkable and peculiar when we happen to M it. ^^^;,^^,^j-^ ' It IS wclrchough kno'wn to be according to the ufual pfocefi of Nature, that men fhould ficken and recover, that fome dedgns fhould fucceed and others mifcarry, that friends fhould be feparated and meet again, that fome fhouldf be made angry by endeavours topleafe them, and fome be pleafed when no care has been ufed to gain their approbation j that men and women Ihould at firft come together by chance, like each other fo well as to commence ac- quaintance, improve acquaintance into fond- nefs, increafe or extinguifh fondnefs by mar- liagcj, and have children of diiFerent degrees of ..^,^i- ' : -.^ - ' - . iiitelleas N^so* The Idler, .281 intelleils and virtue, fome of whom die before their parents, and others furvive them. Yet let any man tell his own ftory, and nothing of all this has ever befallen him ac- cording to the common order of things ; ibmething has always difcriminated his ca^e ; fome unufual concurrence of events has appeared which made him more happy or more miferable than other mortals ; for in pleafures or calamities, however common, every one has comforts and affli(5tions of his own. i'i It is certain that without fome artificial augmentations, many of the pleafures of life, and almoft all its embelli(hments, would fall to the ground. If no man was to exprefs more delight than he felt, thofe who felt moft would raife little envy. If travellers were to defcribe the moft laboured performances of art with the fame coldnefs as they furvey them, all expe^ations of happinefs from change bf place would ceafe» The Pidlures of Raphael would hang without fpe<5tators, and the Gar- dens of Verfailles might be inhabited by her- mits. All the pleafure that is received ends ia (I i.it r*Ti5 282 TAe Idler. N« 50- in an opportunity of Ifjplendid falfliood, in the power of gaining notice by the difplay of beau*- •tie^ which the eye was weary of beholding, and a hlftory of happy moments, of which, in reality, the mod happy was the lafl. >\*y The ambition of fuperior fcnfibility and (hperior eloquence difpofes the lovers of arts to receive rapture at one time, and commu- ^nicate it at another j and each labours firft to .impofe upon himfelf, and then to propagate the impofture. y^ Pain is lefs fubjeture a mode of utterance peculiar to pain, but ':| he has none peculiar to pleafure, becaufe he 'newer has pleafure but in fuch degrees as the liardinary ufe of language may equal or furpais* *(''•' ■ ' ' |; It is rieverthelefs certain, that many pains ■* as well as pleafures are heightened by rheto- rical afle6btion, and that the pi<5lure is, for the moft part, bigger than the life, v ' -"' ^, When XV '; ^.■, >^5o. Tbe Idler. 283 When we- defcribe our fenfations of ano- thw's forrows, either in friendly or ceremo- nious condolence, the cuftoms of the world fcarcely admit of rigid veracity. Perhaps the fondeft friendOiip would enrage oftner than comfort, were the tongue on fuch occafions faithfully to reprefent the fentiments of the heart; and I think the ftricteft moral ifts al- low forms of addrefs to be ufed without much regard to their literal acceptation, when either refpedt or tendernefs rehires them, becaufe they are* univerfally known to denote not the degree but the fpecies of our fentiments. " [ r But the fame indulgence cannot be allow- ed tot him who aggravates dangers incurred or forrow endured by himfelf, becaufe he darkens the profpe£t of futurity, and multiplies the pains of our condition by ufelefs terror. Thofe who magnify their delights are lefs criminal deceivers, yet they raife hopes which are fure to be difappoinced. It would be undoubtedly beft, if we could fee and hear every thing as it is, that nothing might be too anxioufly dreaded, or too ardently purfued, i > . L !■*);• - ■■«/ ' ■ > f, . . ." ■ ■ ' .* ■A. iv.>Hr^^|% 'i.'^h ;yt' N^'Si. fei vr,- ,~r\: %'' ■ ■f^-. 284 T&e Idler. N» 51. :^v^ ■>f '••l,, >.l-'-'l"|;'''|^>. ?sV.' '^''ii-1- II :. ! ^fr'^ N^^i. Sa f ur day y April y^,^ T T has teen commonly remarked, that emi- nent men are leaft eminent at home, that bright characters lofe much of their fplendor at a nearer view, and many who fill the world with their fame, excite very little reverence among thofe that furround them in their do«« meftick privacies. ^ .f'; • ^• T'o blame or to fufpcCl is eafy and natural. When the faCl is evident, and the caufe doubt- ful, fome accufation is always engendered be- tween idlenefs and malignity. This difparity of general and familiar efteem is therefore im- puted to hidden vices, and to pradices in- dulged in fecret, but carefully covered from the publick eye.^^,,,^ .^^^^ .j.v:-AikS^F- -:"^^ - ' Vice will indeed always produce contempt. The Dignity of Alexander^ tho* nations fell proftrate before him, was certainly held in little veneration by the partakers of his mid- Si' ipt. fell in lid- gilt I N^"' i}{Jt .- t 5i« Tie tpL 9R< 28f night reyels„ who had feen bim» in the mad«^, Mcfs of wine, murder his friend^ or iet fire toi the Ptrfian palace at the inftigation of a har- lot ; and it Is well remembered among us, I« ^^ 'J^^^ jBuT though where there is vice there mufl be wat^t of reverence, it is not reciprocally. true» that when there, is wan^ of reverence., there is always, vice. That awe which, great, actions OF abilities imprefs will be inevitably. 4iminiflied by acquaintance^, thp' nothing eir, tber mean.or criminal fbould be found. ^^ , 5 Of men, as of every thing elfe, we muft judge according to our knowledge. When we fee of a Hero only his Battles, or of a Writer" only his Boo^s, we have nothing to allay our ideas of their Greatnefs. We confider the one only as the Guardian of his country, and the other only as the Inftru(aor of mankind. We have neither opportunity nor motive to exa- mine the minuter parts of their lives, or the lefs apparent peculiarities of their charaders ; we 11 V\ 28,6 The iDtER.^^, H<^5»* "We name them with habitual rcfpeft, and for- ^, what we ftill tohtintie to knoWt that they 9Xt men like other mortals. -I- ait-,^:::U]i m .i-':i».,n.«v^^\ ti^ , But fuch is the conftitution of the world, that much of life mufl be ipent in the fame manner by the wife and, the ignorant j the ex^ a|ted and the low. Men, however diftin- guifhed by external accidents or intriniick. qualities, have all the fame wants, the fame pains, and, as far as the fenfes are coniulted, the fame pleafiires. The petty cares and pret- ty duties are the fame in every ftation to every underftanding, and every hour hrings fome occaiion on which we dl fink to the comsion level. We are all Aaked till we are ' drefled, and hungry till we are fed ; and the' General's Triumph, and Sage's Difputation, end, like the humble labours of the Smith or Plovrman, in a dinner or in fleep, \ . „ .. ''^^^^ '' Those notions which are to be collected by reaibn in oppofition to the fenfes, will fel-' dom ftand forward in the mind, but lie trea- fured in the remoter repofitories of memory, to be found only when they are fought. Whatever any nrni may have written or done, his ..^ Jrf.-l. •V which the foot palTes as on common ground, till neceffity breaks open the golden cavern. Im the ancient celebrations of vi^ory, a flavc was placed on the triumphal car, by the lide of . tbeGeneralj who reminded him by a fhort fen- tence, that he was a Man. Whatever danger there mightjbe left a Leader, in his pafTage to the Capitol, fhould forget the frailties of his nature. 'f^ ^ # 2^8^ Ttht Idler. N«5r. nature, there was furely no need of fuch an admonition; the intoxication could not have continued long ; he would have been at home hut a few hours before fome of his dependents Would have forgot his greatnefs, and (hewn him, that notwithftanding his laurels he Was yetaman. t x^:^ ■:i Therb are fome who try to efcape this do* meftic. degradation, by labouring to appear al- ways wife or always great ; but he that drives againft nature, will for ever ftrive in vain. To be grave of mien and flow of utterance j to look with folicitude and fpeakwith hefita- . tion, is attainable at will ; but the ihew of Wifdom is ridiculous when there is nothing to caufe doubt, as that of Valour where there is nothing ta be ftarcd. !'^ 3.-^^ ^s^;-*r ^^< * i A MAN who has duly conHdered the condi* - tion of his being, will contentedly yield to the courfeof things : he will not pant for diftin- Givoii where diftindbion would imply no merit, but tho' on great occafions he may wifh to be greater than others, he will be fatisfied in common occurrences not to be lefs; ^r^> yi.,« N° J?.. u N» 52« th I i) I* B K . t - ■■ • 1 * .-s'-l ■' ^^ni v<^ '>-■''•''• 'ii' a89 J' '.n- ■» ■ f' N°52. Saturday i April I /^. J / , •:/ :d in ^i,. 57, Refponfare cupidinlbus. ;s.; ; ■■.i: ti* v**; S;^-! HOR. ^TpHE practice of felf-denial, or the for- bearance of lawful pleafure, has been confidered by almoft every nation, from the remoteft ages, as the higheft exaltation of human virtue j and all have agreed to pay refpedt and veneration to thofe who abf- tained from the delights of life, even when they did not cenfure thofe who enjoyed them. .^ , , ,. , The general voice of mankind, civil and liarbardus, confefTes that the mind aud body are at variance, and that neither can be made happy by its proper gratifications, but at the expence of the other j that a pamper- ed body will darken the mind, and an en- lightened mind will macerate the body. And none have failed to confer their efteem on thofe who prefer intellect to fcnfe, who Vol. I. * O controul 290 ne I D L E R'i N^ 52* Gontroul their lower by their higher facul- ties, and forget the wants and defires of ani- mal life for rational difquifitions or pious contemplations. ^>^r■ ' The earth has fcarce a country ifo far ad- vanced towards political regularity as to di- vide the inhabitants into claiTes, where fome orders of men or womea aie not diftinguifli- cd by voluntary feverities, and where the re- putation of their fanftity is not increafed in proportion to the rigour of their rides, and the exatoefs of their performance, .-.^ 'M 1h When an opinion to which there is no temptation of intereft fpreads wide and con- tinues long, it may be reafonably prefumed to have been infufed by Nature or dictated by Reafon. It has been often obferved that the fidions of impofture, and illufions of fancy foon give way to time and experience j and that-nothing keeps its ground but truth, which gains every day new influence by new confirmation. . . . , , ^ But Truth, when it is reduced to prac- tice, eafily becomes fubje£t to caprice and ima- ,< .' .. •.> \n 'k ^ )rac- and lima- N*»52. Tie Idler. 291 imagination, and many particular afts will be wrong, though their general principle.be right. It cannot be denied that a juft con- vidion of the reft»-aint neceflary to be laid upon the appetites has produced extravagant and unnatural modes of mortilication, and inftitutions which, however favourably con- fidered, will be found to violate Nature with- out promoting Piety. «* 4.T^-' - But the docSlrine of felf-denial is not weakened in itfelf by the errors of thofe who mifmterpret or mifapply it ; the encroach- ment of the appetites upon the underftand- ing is hourly perceived, and the ftate of thofe whom fenfuality has enflaved, is known to be in the higheft degree defpicable and wretched. . A- The dread of fuch fhameful captivity may juftly raife alarms, and wifdom will endea- vour to keep danger at a diftance. By time- ly caution and fufpicious vigilance thofe de- fires may be reprefled to which indulgence would foon give abfolute dominion ; thofe enemies may be overcome, which when they O 2 have ^92 ^^• • To deny early and inflexibly is the only art ©f checking the importunity of defire, and of preferving quiet and innocence. Innocent gra- ^ . , tifications 1 .'f *.. N^' 52. The Id l e H^ 293 tifications muft be fometimes wkh-hcld ; he that complies with all lawful defires will cer- tainly lofe his empire over himfelf, and in time either fubmit his reafon to his wifh- cs, and think all his dcfires lawful, or diiu mifs his reafon as troublefome and intru- five, and refolve to fnatch what he may hap- pen to wilh, without enquiry about righ^ and wrong. No man, wh^fe appetites are his mailers, can perform the duties of his nature with ftridhiefs and regularity} he that would be fuperior to external iivfluences muft firft be- come fuperior to his own paffions. When the Roman General, fitting at fup- per with a plate of turnips before him, was fol- licited by large promifes to betray his truft, he alked the meflengcrs whether he that could fup on turnips was a man likely to fell his coun- try. Upon him who has reduced his fenfes to obedience temptation has loft its power, he is able to attend impartially to virtue, and execute her commands without hefiu- tion. i'v.: i-. .':fl;'f ■ 63 To ■•:"•■' ,V'- ^- mmmmmmmm 1 1 294 Tie Idler. N** 52. To fet the mind above the appetites is the : end of abftinence, which one of the Fathers obferves to be not a virtue, but the ground- work of virtue. By forbearing to do what, may innocently be d«ne, we may add hourly new vigour to refolution, and fecure the power of refiflance when pleafure or interefl fliall lend their charms to guilt. End cf the First ypLVMz. til^^ifl^^ ^A*" i^im' to i is the Fathers ;round- 3 what hourly ire the intereft w £• n':^ ■: ) S^^^^J^ • > '■ J *r»^ u -« \^*