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Lorsque Ie document est trop grand pour Atre reproduit en un seul clishA, 11 est film6 A partir de i'angle supirieur gauche, de gauche A droite, et de haut en bas, en prenant ie nombre d'Images nicessalre. Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la m^thode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 ■lOT "m^ I ByT, W, TOROKTO: " Ptmi G^LD"* P0iLtsHmG Company. j> Cwi|Bai._&iJUttc ■■a? ■'■>1 ■•V«N& ifJkixtp^omni^^ or 8EEtH0yt» A CAmWET »■% I,"«t"f™«nt« are, t» a.m. respeetii. fkiUy eaiul to »»# 4n »k«' TOBONtO WAREIfc)Oi£S : 1^0. 3.0 EOSSZSr m)XTS@ T irir a If :T o . - the M»m J ieiii.8 and prices as at l^^to^. ~-- - 4 a.HABDYjk CO, # ! \ n>»i"n^P|imil|HHBH« T Seed nthe m 111, at 0, I * i: >• k n MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. BEING * ...V •* A Very Veracious Account of Camp-Life and '. ITS Vicissitudes, AND The Experiences, Triumphs, Trials, AND Sorrows OF A CANADIAN VOLUNTEER. p^ r I' TORONTO : *'PURE gold'' PRINTING -ESTABLISHMENT, 40 CHURCH STREET. 1 J>. \, ., ^^m^^mmmmi^^^^ f M PM^m?]^ >T ■ W/P/f/ CHAPTER I. M %»-• ^ /. I i'^^ /f T.) AM "warned" by sergeant BIGGS. HAD just passed my final law examina- tion, — in fact, had not yet paid for the superb suit of black in which I was to plead before the bar — and was at last about to reap the reward of long years of y persevering study, when, after some hesita- tion, I determined to rent a fine set of rooms in the business portion of the city, the large frosted windows of which formed an admirable back-ground for the words : — *'Geo. Jones, Barrister, Attorney-at-Law, etc., etc.," — which I had had painted thereon, I confess, to my great grati- fication. The contemplation of those square black letters was, indeed, a source of much comfort to me — and T would pass and re-pass the frosted windows with an apparently brisk and' business-like air for an incredible number of tunes a day for the mere pleasure of seeing the words *' George Jones,'"— but it matters not. My short dream of professional bliss was soon to be ended ; at least for a time, MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. Even while I was proudly— yet modestly withal- pointing out the mani- fold attractions of my newly-acquired posses- sions to a select circle of admiring friends— did the blow come upon me. Even while I was, Alnas- char-like, seeing my M/ Cv v^^^ '§i-.^ ^^g^^ clients pouring in, ,// /yVin hot haste to seek my f /K. I J' \ y valuable advice, the crisis yf\ !H|5^/ was at hand. The crisis ''\ \---^ L^came in the form of my old college-chum, Fred Biggs. I was, in imagi- ^nation, ha ndin g m y " eager clients " to my costly-cushioned seats — yet to be purchased — refreshing myself at intervals with a fond look at the square black letters on the frosted windows — when footsteps creaking up the stairs (that is, my branch of them) startled me from my reveries. "By Jove! "I exclaimed involuntarily, "my first client," and dropping hurriedly into my only chair, I at once assumed an absorbed appearance over nothing particular on my desk. The foot-steps came nearer. It might possibly be the boy with the newspaper — no too Mght for him — perhaps — A double knock, at the door. ^ /' Come in 1 " cried I in the correct tone of voice. The door.opened, and a gentleman stood — no, a large 'V MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 5 , scroll stood ill the door-way, accompanied by a gentle- man. ■^■^' ' ''^", '-> ''^' ■'■■''•' ■ ■ ' " A brief, after all, thank heaven ! " I mentally ejacu- lated, feasting my eyes on the precious scroll. But how shall I describe my blank expression of counten- ance, when on looking up I discovered the gentleman to be Fred Biggs, who had himself just entered the legal i^rofessioi.:, but owing to a lack of fortune had not yet obtoined an eligible site for commencing opera- tions. My ( oldncss of demeanor no doubt puzzled him as much as the coo) air with which he uttered the following remarkable words puzzled me : — > ''Jones, you'll have to turn out." Mr. Biggs' impudence, as he stood in the door-way, with his legi apart and his hands in his pockets, like a Colossus at Rhodes about to *' address the house," alarmed and irritated me. It was monstrous, my old friend, F. Biggs, too. " Biggs, T will n^^ turn out, — seeing — " this by way ^ of softening my austereness — "seeing that T have just turned in." ,._ --^r^..-.^,^: ■-■■-, v.;.^/ ^-i-:;v;.,;^y ■■.jntr: "Turn out !'' repeated he with irritating distinctness. " Not, Biggs, till I have had a month's notice. l'^ • demand it. I shall appeal to the law." Fred Biggs laughed. ^' Keep cool, my dear fellow, will you. /';// only following instructions. Every volunteer is expected at the front next Tuesday. I've to turn out, we've all to turn out, do you see. Jones, iny boy ? Lucky dog ! " I whistled, which I explained to Biggs was expressive d MV CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. * of surprise In this case. '* I beg pardon, Fred," said I humbly, '^ I thought you " .. , ,, , ,,. ;. , ^* Why of course not," he interrupted witli a pleasant smile. '' Then, you'll be down at the old drill-shed, — let me see, Monday night, for your kit. All right [ones, my boy. Some more fellows to see yet. Good " • • / " Hi, here ! hi ! " shouted I after Mr. Biggs, who was already in full retreat down the stairs. Look here. Biggs, rrn not a volunteer, you know." ''Of course you are; did you send in your resigna- tion? " ' ' '' No," I groaned, '' but still " ,^ - : ' *' Still, go you must to the front," see, here is your name, George Jones " " Barrister, Attorney-at-Law, etc, etc.," I uncon- '^ sciously added " , , . ^ ''George Jones," he continued, unheeding me and turning over the leaves of the deceptive scroll. I looked. 'Twas too true. And by the aid of the Sergeant (Biggs), I was persuaded unmistakably that, having four years and six months before joined tlie militia force of my native country, I was still liable for drill and active service, as I had failed to tender a formal resignation. ^-- , . • Chagrined as 1 was, I yet hoped to find a loop-hole of escape, My reflections, it must be admitted, were not of a highly patriotic character — but, then, consider my positioi-. If my name had not been so conspicu- ' ous on the frosted windows, it would not have mat- tered ; and I could not bear the idea of having it rub- .^ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. f bed out, ^nd painted on again. My windows were shutterlcss. Ha ! I have it ; write a slip of paper, '* Back in a few minutes," and pin it on the door. Yes, I will do this, if T /////.<•/ go to this infernal front ! T felt calm again. . ' vSurveying tlic matter more closely, I could see that two interests were at stake — first, my own individual interest (forgive me, patriots); second, my country's. Loyalty to the latter imperatively demanded my pres- ence on the plains of Niagara ; loyalty to myself — nay, to my parents, my clients — required, or rather demanded my presence in the city. Illness would certainly incapacitate me from appearing at the front ; but then I could not become ill just now without also becoming an object of scorn and suspicion. Be that as it may, I despised deceit, and spurned the idea. Stop ! a last resource. I would write to the Captain : he could not resist my appeal. I seized a pen, and pleaded business ; my absence from home would '^ cause distress and annoyance to my numerous clients, and great affliction to my aged parents, who are," I touchingly added, '' dependent on my exertions." Thinking that this latter statement might furnish the Captain (who is facgetious), and perhaps others, with a peg to hang a joke on, I judiciously struck it out. The letter was written and posted on Friday. (3n Saturday, I accidentally met my Captain on the street. _ *^ Well, Jones," said he, cordially shaking me by the hand, '' ready for the front ? " ; - It was only by making a tremendous effort I could A.. 8 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. -',!■. '' Gentlemen," said 1, e ' *' Private Jones,' interrupted an old volunteer, light- ing his pipe, " it's usual in camp here to say, ' com- rades,' not gentlemen." :" • '' Comrades and gentlemen," 1 recommenced, '^my friend Knickerbocker has stood me in good stead this day ; let him be with us. U^h ! 'I'is true we are short of r^' '^••^t by practising a little ingenuity, I think we can .. ^e. It v/ill require some self-denial, but are we not oumrades (emphasized), are we not brothers in one common cause, hardy soldiers, (cries of * yes, yes,')? My scheme is this : — Let each man for this night (to- morrow some of us will be detailed for fatigue, I feel assured), let each man, I would say, adopt the simple expedient of lying on his stomach— let each man lift, MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 21 and more especially keep— his legs up at right angles with his body, and my friend Knickerbocker sleeping in the spaces thus formed in the centre, can repose in peace. I have said." Some nmrmurings arose as I sat down at the end of my speech, and the matter wafe discussed ; but Tom Higgins, who I discovered was very popular, ruled the question out, and the motion was carried, 7iem. con. That first night in camp was an auspicious and well- remembered one. Tired out with the duties of the day, I sought my couch— or rather my blanket and knapsa.:k,— as soon as the bugle sounded *' lights out,'' 10 p.m. As most of us were eager to know how sleep- ing " under canvass" felt for the lirsttime, we all went to roost at that time. We thought it was optional as to what time we retired, but except in urgent cases of " blockade running" (to be afterwards touched upon), we usually turned in at lo p.m., v/ithout "catching the early worm.'' A casual observer, looking through the slit in the tent, might have perceived, by the uncertain light of an expiring tallow-candle, twelve prostrate forms lying around in a reversed position, legs up, in some cases armed with boots. In the centre, curled around the tent pole, another form— this was Knickerbocker's. If the causal observer had patience to watch a minute or so, he would see one of the pairs of legs suddenly drop, followed by a groan from No. 13; then the equally sadden elevation of the same pair of legs — by some unseen means, possibly No. 13's — then after an inter- val, another pair Avould be duly jerked up, only ♦1 * I '1 'I mmmmi 22 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. to make room for others, accompanied by groans and smothered epithets, in a foreign language. One thing Knickerbocker e^icaped. He kept pretty dry. The rain came dowTi in torrents during the night, and I may just simply state, that with the exception mention- ed, we all got wet. Altogether it was a miserable night. I didn't mucli care about being marshalled on the mighty plain the next day. This was the end of the first day, and so far I didn't like camp life, but the prejudice soon wore off. Of this more anon. CHAPTER VI. THE REVEILLE— A MELANCHOTV INCIDENT. NEXT morning, just as I was about dropping into an uneasy slumber, I was aw^akened by a tremen- dous explosion. With a yell of dismay, I started to my feet, and trod on somebody else's. Gazing around excitedly, in the dubious glimmer of early dawn, I des- cerned Tom Higgins leaning up on his elbow, blinking vigorously, and Sergeant Biggs, who was squatting on his haunches near the door of the tent, calmly folding up his blanket. • :,m t "What, what in heaven's na.me is that noise? i asked in a voice tremulous with emotion. '' Is the enemy upon us ? " Sergeant Biggs smiled. '^ Oh, that's the reveille." "Ah! a reveille is it? Any more of that sort of thing before breakfast?" I asked with a forced air of unconcern. '' Because if there is, you know Biggs, it's ' no use trying to get any more sleep." " Well no, Jones, one reveille per morning is sup- posed to be enough under ordinary circumstances." " I should think so. Why, sir, Rip van Winkle him- self wouldn't have slept ten minutes after that horrible concussion. Besides, confound it, it's too bad-might have wakened up every fellow in the tent. Look there ,-*^& 24 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. at poor Higgins— -'^ but, however, that gentleman had ceased blinking — given the situation up, in fact as a bad job, and gone to sleep again. He was lying with his legs peacefully reclining on Knickerbocker'^; back — or stomach, it is difificult to say which', as a mingled mass of legs, blankets, rifles, etc., piled up in the mid- dle, alone indicated, from sundry jerks and occasional upheavings, that something alive was buried benea'^ . Verily, a man of patience, he. Said Sergeant Biggs, *'The fact is^ Jones, ilul means, 'turn out ' five o'clock a. m." ^'What! get up at this unearthly hour. No, Sir never! I'm not a burglar, sir, or a milkman, or a Horace Greely, or a- " ''A sensible fellow," put in Biggs, ''or you'd get up at once; but you'll have to do it, I tell you, and do your three hours drill before breakfast, as well. This morning only will be an exception." ''Ah, an exception ! then I can go to sleep again ?'* " Of course, if you like — but I ;:^ess you wont." *: He was right. I had no sooner wrapped myself up in my blanket, and, in fact, in those of the bed-fellow on either side of me (out of which they had rolled during the night,) than--Ta-rat-tat-ta-tat-ta-ta-tat-a-de tat-a-tah-h-h-h — rum-a-dum--dum-a--rum--dum-er-er-er- er-er-dum,- such a deafening clamour of brazen bugles and maddening drums—sleep was out of the question. I arose, moodily, and made my toilet at once. This otherwise tedious operation is speedily performed m camp. All you have to do is to get into your boots, buckle on the slock, and hunt arormd for your cap. If MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 25 it does not come to hand, lay hold of somebody else's that wont go over you eyes. You'll perhaps have to light every fellow afterwards that loses his cap — but it doesn't matter, soldiers rather hke fighting, at least, I didn't. On this occasion I found my cap outside, full of rain-water. Glengaries have one good property — They don't leak. ''Biggs," said 1 doggedly 'Svhat time is breakfast served up ? I'm going out for a walk, I want an appe- ?» tite.' "An appetite, yes, well you can't go out for a walk, but I'll tell you what you can do"— -Biggs was sitting on his knapsack, smoking serenelv— " you can fetch in a few pails of water, and „3t the drinking water from the well— it's only about a mile off— or you can clean up your accoutrements— blacking you know— or, but stop help me to get tnese fellows up first." *' Nothing, my dear Biggs," said I savagely, ''vnW give me greater pleasure. How do you do it ? Shouting won't do after that reveille." *« You are right, shouting will not do. My plan is to lay hold of the end of a blanket and roll the occu- pant out ; failing that " " Cold water?" I suggested mildly. "No, sir," replied Biggs indignantly. *'I report them!" "Oh, I see. Well, here goes. Say, Biggs, howlong are those confounded bugles going to keep up this row (Ta-rat-a-tah, rum-a-dum, etc., alarms and excursions) I was tugging away at Tom Higgins' blanket when— But so are our poor efforts thwarted and rendered use- f % 26 MV CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. bss. What we were Striving to accomplish was done by a mere accident— an accident sudden, but, oh, how ef- fective !--'Twas thus. Thirteen rilles were placed idly around the tent pole. Knickerbocker, aroused at last, had started up with a howl, and in doing so brought down that avalanche of Eniields. Iliey were distribut- ed carefully over the unconscious sleepers, who rose as one man. And thus Knickerbocker had his re- venge. As it was almost impossible to move a leg without treading on something or somebody, we all set to work folding up greatcoats and blankets, not forgetting to lash the rifles more securely to the tent pole. Knap- sacks which had shown a desire to get under the tent, were hauled in, baled out and wiped dry ; then follow- ed a general scramble for water-bottles, haversacks, hair- brushes, soap, boots, towels, blacking, etc., 1 had taken the precaution to fill up my water-bottle over- night with soda water and lemonade, a mixture I am singularly fond of. Taking up the canteen alongside my knapsack, I discovered that it was empty. I was thirsty, but I said nothing. ^' Hallo !" said Tom Higgins, suddenly, *^why my canteen is full of " he applied it to his lips. "What?" I asked. '^ By Jove ! " exclaimed Higgins smacking his lips, *' try it, and see ! Not much, you know it has to go round." One consolation I had. I had come to camp un- provided with blacking, a very necessary article. In .'/ fc4^ M :* 1 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 27 n ■..C \\ the haversack under my knapsack, I found six boxes ! I confiscated them ! ! ! . In the midst of the excitement, a rumour began to gain ground rapidly that Knickerbocker had thought- lessly lost his boots. lie had been looking for them in vain for the last ten minutes. This loss was un- heeded at first, but when Tom Higgins announced, that he had lost his parcel of clean shirts, which could not be found anywhere, followed by a complaint from our corporal— Howlett— that his hair-brush and comb were minus, the matter began to grow somewhat inter- esting. Was it possible that a thief was in our midst ? ^'Boys," said Sergeant Biggs gravely, "this thing looks serious. Bat before we entertain any suspicion of foul play, let us make a few inquiries. There was a deathlike silence. "Mr. Neigelbock, did you come into this tent with your boots on ? " Knickerbocker said he had. Biggs then enquired where he had placed them when he took them off-~or had somebody else taken them off? The exasperated German gesticulated wildly at the last supposition, but finally stated that he had taken them off himself, and believing it to be a safe, snug place, he had deposited them in one of the pockets at the side oi the tent ! ; s* At this point, 'I'om Higgins and Corporal Howlett . raised a direful howl and rushed precipitately out ofthe tent. In a moment or two we had the melancholy satis- faction of beholding the ruins of what had once been three white clean shirts. Tom and the corporal made a small funeral procession, and ihat bedraggled, wet '^ I; -28 j\[Y CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. muddy mass of- dilapidation was brought in tearfully by Tom on the end of a piece of stick. Knickerbock- er's boots, were tound side by side, like two twin hip- baths, full of water and quite wet, victims to the rash indiscretion of placing useful articles in a tent ventila- tor. I should here explain o those unacquainted with the interior of a military tent, that it is furnished with usually three ventilators, which of course com- municate with the outside, but inside look marvellous- ly like very large watch pockets. As room was limited inside, we went out of the tent to clean up our accoutrements. I say went out, but the fact is a great majority of us, including myself, fell outy owing to the extreme complexness of the open- ing, which is fastened up at the bottom. .-','s^»4 T. !;• :. -*<6 -A;, CHAPTER VII. A DREADFUL CRISIS — SERGEANT BIGGS' GREAT SPEECH ! AT half-past seven^ Sergeant Biggs called us into the tent, and gave a short address. He said that, " owing to circumstances over which he had no con- trol," there would be no drill till the afternoon. (Loud cheers). In the meantime, it would be his pleasing duty to appoint some one as assistant cook. (Much agitation.) Those having some acquaintance with the culinary art, would please hold up their hands. Twen- ty-four hands went up instanter. I ultimately discov- ered that the duties of cook absolved the happy indi- vidual from all parades. As my friend Knickerbocker had an undeniably cook-like appearance, being' very fat, and an enormous eater withal, he was forthwith elected assistant cook by general acclamation. Ser- geant Biggs regretted to say that there was nothing particular to cook just then, as the rations had not been served out — in fact, it pained him to say that it was doubtful as to whether any would be served out at all that day. (Yells and groans). This intelligence was indeed alarming. Most of the boys, like myself, were nearly famished. We had had nothing since the pre- vious afternoon, excepting the wretched biscuit and cheese to be got at the canteen. The prospect of being ■te ^' > 4; ,1 30 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. breakfastless, to say nothing of the horrible possi^ility of being dinnerless, after getting up at 5 o'clock, too, was simply maddening. A general gloom overspread the whole tent. We were now so enfeebled by long fasting that wc had to lie down and smoke. Under these distressing circumstances, a committee of ways and means was called — Sergeant Biggs pre- siding. Private Higgins said this was a matter not to be trifled with. He had one suggestion to make. In his knapsack were a score of postal cards, and he proposed that each of us should take one, inscribe on it the words, *' I am starving !" and without a moment's de- lay despatch it to our nearest relative, and by this means be hoped that succour might arrive ere it were too late. Little Jaffey (a young college man) said he couldn't hold out much longer ; that he should never survive the arrival of provisions from home, he felt assured. Six hours more would see the last of him. '' Let us, then," said he, his eyes filling with tears, *' let us, then, abandon this course ; it is too late now. Let us," con- cluded he, an unnatural light glowing in his weak, watery eyes, " let us die like men, and be buried in one grave 1" The proposal of being buried in one grave didn't meet with that warm support it deserved, perhaps. The suggestion, therefore, was hailed with general dis- approval ; Tom Higgins, in particular, remarking that he, for his own part, would rather be interred separately, \: MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 31 if it did come to that. As it was evident that poor Jaffey was giving way, he was led out and taken to the canteen without loss of time. Corporal Howlett (who is a bit of a wag), said, that rather than adopt that young gentleman's plan, he would — well, delicacy prevented him being too explicit -—but desperate men take desperate remedies, why not, after the manner of shipwrecked sailors, when the worst comes to the worst, why not (a voice — 'why not?') cast lots for the first man (groans and hisses). Per- haps Knickerbocker, as the best-fed man, would not object to offer himself for general consumption, for a start? " Ho ! dat ish too bad, ven I got large vife and fam- ily at hom," exclaimed the injured German. " Bezides, I am da cook ; and how de tuyvel am I to cook my- self, ay ?" This objection was considered to be a reasonable one, and Corporal Howlett's amendment was ruled out. After this there was a long and gloomy interval of silence, only disturbed by an occasional uneasy moan, and the wbiff, whiff of a consoling pipe. About 10 a. m., Tom Higgins rolled out under the tent unobserved in the impenetrable cloud of smoke which now completely obscured us, and it was under- stood that he had gone as forlorn, hope on a skirmish- ing expedition around the camp. In half-an-hour he returned, empty-handed and dejected. The waters (of affliction) had not yet abated. We kept on smoking to stave off despair. ■J 3^ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. ■^^ 10-45 3.. m — Giving way rapidly. 1 1 a. m. — Sergeant Biggs went out. He said he was going to see if anything had been heard of the missing rations ! (We tried to cheer, but broke down.) After a few minutes of terrible suspense, he too returned. The rations were en route, but it was difficult to say when they would arrive. Just here we heard Tom Higgins whisper something to the Sergeant. After a short pause. Sergeant Biggs made, amid a deathlike and ominous silence, the following ^ ^ ,^, f EM.ARKABLE Speech " Friends, comrades, countrymen — hear me. It is no longer of use attempting to conceal from ourselves that a dreadful fate is at hand. Even now, perchance, it has ovenaken us. But, sic semper tyrannus^ shall we die without a struggle ? (feeble cheers). ISjon nobis non nobis domine, I say, (visions of college life and the happy days of yore, flitted sadly before us). As great Csesar %2J)A^partant pour la syrie I to death or victory ! Pat-^ trodus fratribus skedaddlorum campagna. Shall we perish here in the midst of plenty ? I ask, while yon- der village (pointing to the door), is revelling, wallow- ing in luxuries — while our countrymen in another part of this accursed camp are at present cooking beef and potatoes for dinner to-day. Shall this be ? (wild cries of *no, no'). No ! Let us to arms, then, and wrest from them their ill-gotten beef and potatoes. ' Viva la Canadeur P '' At these words a thousand bayonets flashed from their sheaths. I *:i |1L. MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 33 He continued. *^ Alas ! my countrymen, sic transit gloria mundi bucksheesh, didce domum ! let us not use force. Let strategy prevail. As Hannibal said, * re- quiscat in pace bismillak: Such be our motto, * Re- presentative of all that is truest and best in the current thought and moral sentiment of the whole Dominion,' (loud groans and derisive cheers.) One more means of escape is open to us. Pons assinorum tibi / In yonder copse, where now the garden smiles, and many a vegetable luxuriant grows wild, there on the plain near where Fort George once stood, the village geese now feed their cackling brood.'' A new light here began to dawn upon us. Even Knickerbocker here looked up from the something he was chewing, and appeared interested. ^*Yes, my countrymen, it will not be the first time that geese have figured in the annals of history. Did they not save the Capitol ?— (cries of '^ they did, they did")--and can they not save us now } ('Yes, yes*) Shall we now, I ask, in this crisis hesitate to make them ours ? (*Never, never'). You say, it is theft ; yet, did great Caesar steal ? yet did Ben Butler steal ? No more Will you, then, by one bold stroke, avert your doom* and be men ? (Cries of "We will, we will.") ^- Who' then, will offer themselves for this noble undertaking ^ What, all ! Nay ; I fain would select two only. Come thou, Tom Higgins, and also Knickerbocker ; ye are trusty men. Bring hither the geese. Go, and success attend you. Boys, ere the evening sun tips with gold yon distant spire and village minarets, the picv shall be ours !" u m 34 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. Thus ended Biggs' remarkable speech — remarkable because of its effects. The result of this wild-goose chase will be contimied in the next chapter. \ \ ,.! hf -5i- . .V'^.^V r v^:::. i.y [ ■■■}■ • :■ ■ y- : ,-■':•.,; '!>*' .■:.V : :. '/•! ;'-.r:v.. . 'i CHAPTER VIII. "•:f''H-:-- .'*;. ':J^ THE GREAT GOOSE RAID. WAS not a complete success. Although comes- tibly it was a triumph, as a feat of personal prowess, it was distressingly disastrous. At noon, attired in civilian suits procured from my own ward- robe, and that of Sergeant Biggs, the two doughty champions had set out, accompanied by our fervent benedictions, and a bag to put the geese in. They had not been gone above two hours, when, like ' wildfire, spread the glorious intelligence that the meat ' had arrived ! I need not describe how unevenly it was distributed, scrambled for, fought over, mauled, murdered, cooked, and ultimately devoured, with thankfulness, but without any potatoes. It is a theme that shall be sacred in these pages. Enough, that about 4 p.m. a gaunt, grisly apparition presented itself at the tent door, gazed around with solemn con- templativeness for a moment, and going up to Jaffey's plate, took up the piece of meat lying thereon, and bolted it without saying a word. JafFey had gone ' round camp to look for some salt ! One man alone ■ could have performed the feat of disposing of a pound of meat in two mouthfuls ; and that man was Niegel- bock, and this was he. Beckoning us away as we I I *:-! 36 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. Started simultaneously to grasp his hand, he presented to view a figure I shall never forget. His face was streaked with mud, his hair was sticking up anyhow ; and my best suit of bJack, which didn't fit him much when he had started out, was now clinging to him in the most affectionate manner — also mud-stained. From a cursory glance the idea was suggested that he had been bathing wdth his clothes on ! We beseeched him, with tears in our eyes, to tell us where he had been. But he had evidently lost all power of speech. He could only point to the door, and wag his head. Act- ing on the hint, I immediately rushed out, just in time to " telescope" Taffey and a bag which he was bringing in. A spasmodic cackling announced its con- tents, and two venerable ganders were brought to view amid much rejoicing. Knickerbocker had evi- dently intended giving us a '' surprise party." But what about Tom Higgins ? we asked, alarmedly. His companion only shook his head again dejectedly, as he pulled off his wet clothes without uttering a word. At last our tears and prayers wrung from him the awful confession : — Tom Higgms, fighting to tlie last, had been slain in a personal and terrible encounter with the proprietor of the very geese Sergeant Biggs and Jaftey v/ere now denuding of their feathers. All further questioning was useless ; nothing more could we get out of the unfortunate German, who with ill success was trying to comb his hair. We left him to weep and to pine (as the poet says), and didn't bother at all about Tom Higgins, as we knew he'd turn up all right somehow. As to Knickerbocker's statement* A ■ ■A. MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 37 « it was inspired by either extreme terror or mental aber- ration—possibly both. Just now the geese were the most interesting topic. To cook them was to run a risk. " Bounce" Gorton, a big EngHshman, suggested that we should eat them raw. When he was '* up in the Arctic regions/' he and the other " fellers'' used to eat raw whale '' reglar." Corporal Howlett said he should be able to swallow a whale after that. We all laughed. " Bounce," muttering something about swallowing the Corporal, said he didn't come to Canada to be " hinsulted." With regard to Canada, he wasn't afraid to say that his family had been 'ighcr than the flimily of hany man in the tent ever was, or is, or would ])e ! " Hanged ?" asked the Corporal, innocently. This sally completely routed the discomfited Eng- lisher, who, anathematizing some place as a '' blarsted , country," glared around in sullen silence, and collapsed. Gorton, despite his weakness for fiction, was a good fellow, /. e,, when we agreed with his views ; and more- over his angry fits were soon over and forgotten. The small sums of money he borrowed were forgotten, too, with equal facility, but then he was liberal enough when lie had money. That Englishman was an anomaly to me. ■^. The geese being plucked, it was arranged tliat Niegelbock and Jaffey should take them out (in the bag), find some sequestered spot, dig a cooking trench in the mo^t approved military fashion, and spit them without further loss of time. I ill 't' taiiii 38 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. ; ; . It was while they were engaged in this pleasing task, and while we were smoking our pipes with immense gusto, conjecturing what had become of poor Higgins, that a dark shadow obscured the tent-opening for a moment, the next, that individual with a frantic bound, stood in our midst ! He was scarcely recognizable, though. Haggard and hatless, one eye discolored, his necktie and collar gone, his clothes (Sergt. Biggs' rather), completely ruined, his pants lacerated about the feet and in the rear in a most shocking manner ; he would at that moment have fetched a very large sum in the agricultural market as a model scarecrow. His appearance was altogether unique. But we im- y plored him earnestly to go away, as if some officer or gentleman were to see him there thusly, our reputa- tions were gone, gone for ever ! He only laughed wildly, and in hollow, husky tones asked, "Where, oh where is Knickerbocker?" I was just about to assure him that that gentleman was quite safe and, recovering nicely, when Corporal Howlett, sitting alongside, gave me a nudge and winked. V The idea was grasped, and nobody spoke except the unhappy Higgins. " . 1^^; c *' No answer ? Then he is lost, lost ! and 1 alone am =^ his murderer," and with a wild, piercing cry of dispair, the wretched man clasped his hands frenziedly, sank his head on his breast, and sat down on the point of big Gorton's bayonet, which that gentleman had been 'cleaning up.* This revived him wonderfully, and added to our -*' :<;#■ T <\ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. U Tcattr "^^°"' ''' '"'' ^^"-^ ^° -- degree Between harrowing expressions of remorse and fre SZnT: °" '^'' ' '^^^ °^^-'^' which 'the Eng.' n xuent Pri'"f r^"'^' '" ^''*"'=^*'"g ^^ the - ' A STRANGE STORY ! ! "About ten thousand years ago, ere the cornucopia" the I.p 01 vice and ignorance,-when the inundating devas.t.onsofthe influential organisms had not yef- been heard of m the dim vista of futurity, when ani'd the mipenctrable obscurity of the middle^^^.es, '„" e ' poten protoplasms ofintercolonialization,4vhen-l^« ' Stop ! roared Sergt. Biggs, " this man is mad -'> f -. t § 40 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARi * We gazed at eiich other, and at the strange being before as in blank surprise and sheer terror. " Mad ? Not at all, Sergeant, said Higgins cooly. I am a professional writer, and that's the style in which I usually commence my stories. It gives effect to the opening, .\llow me to proceed. Fm coming to the point: — -V -;- " The potent protoplasms ofintercolonialization,whcn two travellers might have been seen, by the aid of a microscope, wending their way between a rocky defile in the lower range of *'t^ Niagarian mountains, amid the fierce storm of wine id rain which raged around them. The vivid and aeafening flashes of " " Leave that out," said Corporal Howlett. ** The eldest of the twain might have been " '' Well, let him might, and never mind his age, G. P. R. James is too concise," remarked a voice, which I knew to be Gorton's. "Gentlemen," resumed the narrator, "graceful detail is not appreciated here, I will come to common place incidents. Reaching the end of our journey, we arriv- ed at our destination, iuC spot where we had seen the geese on the day of our arrival in camp. Full well we'd marked them with lascivious eye. But lo ! not one was now to be seen. I elicited the intelligence , from another man, who was prowling about with a bag just like ours, that two geese had been stolen, — that is , taken away, — only yesterday, and that at the last en- campment they had disappeared with a regularity and , precision that was indeed admirable and soldier-like. These ci cumstances may have had something to do MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 41 J with the removal of the interesting birds on this occa- sion. He advised us, for many reasons, to go home (to camp). Loth, however, to return baffled and geeseless, we continued to hunt around, for some time without success. A noise of distant cackUng at last restored our flagging hopes ; and, skirmishing around steathily, we came to a long, low wall, which we found, on peering over the edge, disclosed the objects of our search. This was cheering. It was a large farm-yard; in the centre was an extensive pool of water, and in that pool, eight majestic geese were sailing about with an innocence that was actually touching. I almost burst into tears when I thought of it, gentlemen, and the prospect of getting something to eat at last. We did not long hesitate. Knickerbocker and I tossed up with a cent piece, to decide which should go over the wall, and owing to a piece of ingenuity acquired in early infancy, the cent came down just as I wanted it, and Knickerbocker lost. The next n^oment he was over the wall. I threw him the bag, and then squatting down satisfactorily, through a niche in a gate watched with some interest my accomplice's proceedings. His movements were extremely cautious, — too much so, in fact, as they were calculated to awaken suspicion. With the most villainous expression I ever saw on a human face, that huge Resurrectionist-looking bag under one arm, he strongly resembled a hired assassin at a theatre about to murder somebody. Caught just then, he would have been hanged without a trial, I solemnly believe. All this time I was watching him with fixed eye and bated breath. Suddenly, I observ- er 42 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. ed some sort of a monster emerge from an adjoining stable, and look round carelessly. I was agonized at first, thinking that Neigelbock had not observed the untoward intruder. But he had, and quick as lightning, aye, quicker, the wary German had thrown himself - noiselessly into a waggon full of straw alongside, where lying flat down, he remained motionless. I feltrelieved, especially when the monster disappeared into the stable again. But conceive my horror, when he walked out again, this time with a three-pronged pitch-fork in his hand, slowly approached the waggon, introduced that accursed instrument, brought out my unfortunate com- rade at the end of it (he was laid on his stomach, too) and with fiendish unconcern, dropped him into the pond ! I saw, — I heard no more ! I dashed madly over the wall, seized the unsuspecting ruffian by the ^ neck, and should, I feel convinced, have totally anni- MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 43 hilated him, had not a painful sensation in the rear told me I was attacked by his brute of a dog. My flank was turned I gave in reluctantly, and it was while the monster was apologizing for the misunderstanding that I asked in a terrible voice, Where is my friend ? He turned deadly pale; he said he had forgotten all about him ! And I, — I too had forgotten him. Too late then. We dragged the pool for two hours, but it was of no avail. The monster, now eager enough for his own safety, suggested that his dog should go for him \ he had a good scent and might indicate the spot where my poor friend had sunk. "> ' While the monster went into the stable for a mo- ment and a rope, I attached a stone to the neck of his infernal dog, threw him in to " indicate the spot where," etc, — and he didn't come up again. Ha ! ha ! Corporal Howlett here interrupted the narrator. He asked Private Higgins if he had tried the melan- choly and last resort of tying a lager-beer glass at the end of a pole, and suspending it over the spot where the body had disappeared. " No," said Tom, indignantly, " I have not." " Well, sir," resumed the Corporal, " I never knew that to fail yet. No Dutchman can resist that appeal." The entrance of Knickerbocker himself, to announce that one of the geese had been stolen while he and Jaffey were washing the other goose at the well, was a pleasant surprise enough to poor Higgins, and he was soon restored to his wonted spirits. As for the rest of us, the direful announcement plunged us in gloom and despondency. •M) 44 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. Knickerbocker, equally overjoyed to see Tom, said thnt while he was engaged with the dog and "ter tuy- vel " with the pitchfork, he had scrambled out of the pond, laid hold of two absorbed ganders, who were betting on the event, and absconded instanter. CHAPTER IX. THERE IS CORN IN EGYPT — PARADES. WITH the end of the fifth day departed also our commissariat troubles and sorrows. There was corn in Egypt ; and from that day henceforth, un- til the demolition of the camp, rations were served out with all the precision and liberality of an ably-con- ducted boarding-house. Meat, (invariably beef) pota- toes, bread, tea, coffee, pepper, blankets, sugar, wash- basins and salt, we got gratuitously; milk, tobacco, pickles, cigars, soap, pocket-money, oysters, blacking, sardines, strawberries, shaving-tackle, ice-cream, dress- ing-gowns, slippers, Bologna-sausage, cosmetique, ham- sandwiches, candy, hair-pomade and butter we did not get gratuitously ! The privations we endured for want of the latter ar- ticle can never be told. Unaccustomed to the dry process of masticating bread without its usual concom- itant, six of our number,— including myself— indignant- ly but heroically held out for nearly fifteen minutes ! after that we devoured a loaf each, and as much more as we could beg, borrow, or steal ! ■ ! This subject is almost too painful to dwell upon; but I am compelled to say that our appetites beramc perfectly appalling. Never before did we imagine that dry bread 46 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. and muddy coffee, and calcined beef, and drowned potatoes, and melancholy soup, had such fascinating charms for the human palate. I don't know exactly how it was with the other fellows ; but I do know that the expectation of the morning's breakfast disturbed my nightly slumbers only too often. I could not get enough to eat — none of us could. And the ravenous manner in which we attacked the viands on a morning, after two hour's squad-drill, was absolutely awful, and to the frugal-minded was a spec- tacle never to be forgotten ! Thirteen loaves of bread and two bucketsful of coffee ( ?) were mere trifles. The quarter-master, however, humanely limited us to this quantity, and in consequence, many of us esonped a painful and lingering death ! Altogether, we were tolerably happy \ and, after all, camp-life was not without its charms. The parades and guard-mounting, alone, were sources of secret — not to say undisguised uneasiness to us. The 10-30 parade was not so bad ; but to be "mount- ed" for guard at 9 o'clock without having had time to swallow one's breakfast, — only too often without hav- ing had breakfast at all — we found to be extremely irk- some and monotonous. The 2-30 parade had all the horrible effects of an incubus on most of us, and was fatal to after-dinner digestion. To escape from the 2-30 parade was a feat. The following loop-holes were open to this end: — ist. To act as cook; 2nd, commit suicide ; 3rd, become an officer; 4th, betaken violently sick. The latter method was very popular at first ; but owingto the extreme unpalatableness of the MY CAMPiiIGN AT NIAGARA. 47 medicines {sic-this is not a joke) it was abandoned with much cheerfulness. Five hours' har^ drill on a hot afternoon, half-stran- gled with a tight-fitting tunic, a stock, and your accou- trements, IS no light matter, I believe; though it might have been mstructive and entertaining enough to our Division officers, who used us pretty much in the same mdifferent and playful manneras did that ancient king, who had the floor of a costly vestibule fitted up as a chess-board, with live men for pieces. t ii titr. CHAPTER X. SOME "GOAKS — FEARF'^L REVELATIONS OF CAMP- LIFE ! ! DESPITE the trifling drawbacks touched upon in the last or previous chapter — drawbacks which at least made us very hardy — and even dirty — we had a good time of it. And such fun ! Why, it would be impossible to describe one tithe of the good jokes and "righte mer- rie conceits" we perpetrated and enjoyed during that festive and hilarious '' sixteen days." Here are one or two, as samples : - Our tent (with some others) was boarded with rough planks, laid — simply laid — on crosswise pieces of scant-, ling; one plank, in particular, jutting out like a spring- board a foot or two beyond the tent. To suddenly jump on the outer end of this plank, when there was a pile of potatoes, or a canteen of hot soup on the other end, was considered very good fun, and was usually productive of much diversion, and some " free" fights. Another and still more excellent plan was to wait un- til some unsuspecting wight squatted on the inner end of that plank, with a tin of hot coffee (or soup) between his knees, and some strawberries and herrings on a plate on his legs ; then to lift up the outer end of the -! i. MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA-v V ^ 49 aforesaid plank — briskly ! This act was generally fol^ lowed by the abrupt disappearance of the man at the other end, through the opening at the bottom of the tent ! ^ Tom Higgins once went out in this curious manner, and was discovered outside by the Visiting officer, dry- ing himself with a towel, and swearing badly. The peculiar elasticity of these planks was fatal al- most every day to pails of soup, or tea, or coffee. Thank goodness, though, most of us could swim, or at least, wade ! - - i Another joke was to procure a handful of flour — or, say, pepper — and inserting your hand thoughtfully through the tent ventilator (before described) while the happy inmates were u . their frugal meal, distribute yimr meal vvith a lavish and unsparing hand, — and leave ! N.B. — It requires a good pedestrian for this. This is, likewise, a most admirable and never-failing receipt : Tie, if possible, a piece of string, about ten or fifteen yards long, to the ankle of the "orderly" who is waiting for his company's share of soup, etc., at the cooking depot ; tie the other end to a tree or some- body else's leg. After a pause, you observe the trium- phant orderly load himself with as much as he can carry, start off gladsomely at a brisk trot, get to the end of the string, and — all is chaos? He may possibly break his neck ; he might — but the supposition is ab- surd — even maim himself for life ; but then the joke is, that his company don't get any soup that day. Another "joke." Purloin as many blankets as you can when the other fellows are singing *' Home, sweet H I 50 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. Home ! " in the soft twilight, outside on the nice wet grass, destroy the nightly candle, place all the blankets on your own "roost," and in the tranquil security of a calm and approving conscience, go to sleep on them. They are much softer than one miserable blanket. ? - i > J 1 < ■» . V..;.-. s J*i- * , ; . '4 «t-*(<"?'t :5'"l! i,j^:v ;»'. **\ fife f/~i .K 'f h a * V 4 t 5- * '41' jr,-ti; '' Y^ V >.'i * ' *; •s.'fJ"" t * T« f. J'y,^r > -,i >.fe„ - -. 1 ^ ^ tj-'. 1 3bJf* aa 4-. ' > *f , 4 j,~ - * ^' ' 4 1 1 * .'t i-J," :i»^ -f ^ * .If I J * i . ■ ** vt.*.' %*5; r-K CHAPTER XI. FURTHER FEARFUL REVELATIONS OF CAMP-LIFE. AH, they were happy, happy days, these ; but still (such is xsxsjix privately) how deeply, how constantly I yearned to be an Officer ! It was not the extra pay " I was hanging after, either ; no, nor the nicer and cleaner clothes, and the sacred privilege of wearing a white ^'stand-up" collar; nor even a sword (most use- ful to the officers for getting between their legs, but which we could have better utilized by employing it for the purpose of carving ,up the geese which Knicker- bocker had brought in unto us, as a snare to premature toothlessness); 'twas not these, nor the officers' blessed ■ immunity from guard-mounting, etc., that waked the Demon of Discontent. No, it was because they got their food with such regularity and certainty, I am not, nor was I jealous of these officers ; they had many unpleasant and responsible duties to discharge, from, which I, as a private, was happily exempt; but oh, the unfailing assurance that a good " square" meal was in ^ store for them at least three times a-day, must have been a source of unspeakable comfort to them, and as- suredly, made ample amends for all their privations. Not all the officers (still fewer of the pri- vates) knew the bugle-calls intimately; but the Offi- I ^ I S2 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. cers' Mess Call was always responded to with an alac- rity that was as touching as it was praiseworthy. That cheerfully answered appeal was indicative enough of the good things and savoury that awaited these gentle- men. And they were not haughty and conceited over it, at all. No gTim, formal, speech-making, sarcasm- poking, party-purpose serving banquet that. These civilian (though not less military) majors, captains, and " subs,'^ with the good-natured colonel as ring-leader, were as merry and frolicsome over their jolly meals in that rough apology for a dining-hall, as a party of schoolboys at a picnic. All because, each meal was a moral certainty. Not so with us. Though food was good and abun- dant, each meal-time with us was too frequently a sea- son of dark doubts and fears, beset with uncertainties and painful vicissitudes. This is the gauntlet through which our chances of a '^square" dinner had to run : Sup- posing the rations are served out safely by the quarter- master (as they usually were) there is a probability that our company-cook may hang up the meat on a tree, put the potatoes in the wrong tent-bag, and go for a stroll around town, or "loaf," about the canteen, holding a levee of a select circle of his comrades ; re- turning "fou," he may then go to sleep under the tree, happily unconscious of the meat above him ; or he may light the fire, cut up the meat, terrify his assistant into paring the potatoes, and then go to sleep, and either by accident, or as a "joke," the hoisting-tackle may give way, the beef come off, and the potatoes and water put the f.re out. No dinner that day. There is MY CAMPAIGN At NIAGARA. 53 usually an assistant-cook, but this gentleman's services, : like the "Coloners orderly's," are a sinecure. After the exhausting task of potato-paring, it was customary for the A. C. to vamoose, and ** turn up" again about meal ; time. Agam, supposing the meat to be cooked (?), ^ some other tent-cook who has been asleep ur at the canteen, may in his extremity make a successful raid ' while >'t7/^r cook is innocently look in ^r for a piece of stick to stir up the " soup." ALo, no dinner that day, unless your cook raises a stampede on another tent's cooking rancAe. Once more. Should your meat be cooked and unstolen, your " Orderly" might come to grief in the manner aforesaid. Even when one's din- ner is on the plate, under one's (or two's) nose, it is not safe. You might be victimized, as Jaffey was by Niegelbock ; or, you might be on the wrong end of that plank, and be jerked up, meat, soup, everything. Tableaux — grand scrami ic! To be safe, your food must be actually m >sticatc(l and bolted, and you'd have to be smart at Ui But f err ; then ven then it Blushing slightly, I tried, but in vain, to conceal my 4i! IJ-.,-;. u I if. 56 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. happiness. Howlett, too, was evidently much over- come, as with his cap over his mouth, he was sobbing violently. Tom Higgins — honest Tom — wept like a child ; and as for Knickerbocker, his emotion was, poor fellow, more sincere than melodious, and for some moments, I feared that apoplexy had ensued. I con- fess that these touching proofs of affection moved me deeply, and for some minutes I could not speak. Knickerbocker's sudden disappearance, however, out of the tent-opening, through the instrumentality of the plank and the irate Englishman, Gorton, who wrathfully stigmatized tlie Teuton's simple-heartedness as " hinfernal snivelling,^' and wanted to know what he was "a 'owlin' in that hawful style for," — broke the deep silence, and after this trifling contretemps, I spoke. /' Sergeant Biggs," was my grateful reply, " I will do my best to deserve the honour." And I did. I washed up dishes, fetched water, got very dirty, swept up, cleaned down, lost and brushed out useful articles, confiscated and devoured all eat- ables, and worked general havoc and destruction with all the devotedness of a professional house-maid. I had also the privilege of 3 fights per diem over a broom that belonged to the next tent. I did all this recklessly, for I found that I had been the victim of a base imposition ! Nor was this all. I had in a mo- ment of rashness signed articles to be " tent orderly " ior six days. rs ,0- .fmn . The perjured Biggs afterwards confessed that he had been driven to take this step, owing to the ominous hints thrown out by the boys that, because I was on <;■ "-. ■>' i ': » wmmmm MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 57 certain terms with his (the Sergeant's) sister, I was never " warned '' for guard or picket. There may have been some truth in this • but I was indignant with Biggs all the same. In addition to my domestic cares, I had to attend all parades. This was a severe blow. That confound- ed Knickerbocker had not to parade at all. My scul- lion duties had all the charm of novelty at first, but on the second day of office, I became dangerously disgust- ed, for I could no^ keep clean. But one advantage the tent orderly has — he can have two, and even three meals a day all to himself One when he fetches the rations from the cook (saving contingencies), another with his mess, and a third — if he be utterly abandoned, depraved — by eating the guard's dinner, when he takes it out to that unfortunate individual. Taking, at last, cheerfully to my duties, it was strange how soon I forgot my dignity. I was " G. Jones, Barrister-at-Law, &c.," no longer. My identity, alas, was completely gone ! lUit a more dreadful humiliation than this was at hand. I will endeavour to explain in th3 next cliapter. i 1 ,. :i,ry ^A t - 1 l-k 4 fJl J, is*l >^^t' j... ^^k jM^:f.fymk m^i^'^'^^-%- ;r' (r ': ^,- CHAPTER XIII. A TALE OF LOVE. ' t ■4\M. IS THREE months before I had been introduced to the beautiful Kate Biggs, by her brother. She was at that time receiving the fawning attentions of a scoundrel named Brownson. He might have been strictly honest, but he loved her ! and thought his love returned. My immensely superior attractions, however, were his ulti- mate ruin. He was discarded, though Miss B. still continued to treat him as a friend — his presents being of the most costly and useless character. Meantime, I, / gave her nothing beyond my love — it was cheap and inexpensive. ...?i cM She was satisfied. Could I then — reader, who hast been in love — could I help loving her ? A thousand (looo) no's. And I knew that she loved me, because she alway; flirted recklessly with that infernal Brown- son, or somebody else, whenever I went to see her bro- ther. Besides, she used to call me names. One was Othello ; for this reason. Kate asked me one day, what object I had in becoming a soldier, and inflicting upon myself the hardships of camp life. I replied in the following beautiful lines : — 7 - 7:7 " She loved me for the dangers I had pass'd, -i . - . And I lov'd her that she did pity them.". •., ■'■^:hf-.fk*>:J: ■*'f«, 7. 3 J MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 59 After this the provoking little beauty called me " Othello," '' black-a-moor," "coloured person," &c. And I rather liked it, because I could get savage, and "- make it up," you know. As to that — I will restrain myself, however, — Brownson, I simply abhorred him. To the outer world, we seemed to be on the warmest terms of affableness and affection ; privately we could have annihilated each other, without one pang of re- morse. One thing more. — He was in camp with my battalion, — he was in No. 10 company, — he was an Ensign. I could never^forgive him for this! .. - > . ,• On the afternoon of the fifth day (a "field day " ), I was sitting outside the tent, just after dinner, in my usual position (on the grass — legs out), engaged in my wonted humble duties, /. ^., washing up a formidable assortment of much-begreased plates, cans, knives, forks, spoons, etc., etc., which lay gracefully around, when a voice behind me sent a thrill through every nerve. Divested of my tunic, bare-headed, with a huge tin of reeking hot water in front of me, smoking pensively a short, black clay pipe, I must, without doubt, have presented a somewhat picturesque ap- pearance. I was just putting the last plate on a du- biously-washed pyramid alongside, and was preparing to " go " for the forks, when a voice behind me sent a thrill — but I think I made this remark before. Suffice it to say then — suffice it for me — that the voice had a galvanic effect on me, and by a convulsive and invol- untary movement of my legs, I overturned the tin of hot water, and completely deluged those aforesaid valuable appendages. i \ t 6o MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. The voice said — " Please can you tell me where I can find Mr. Jones?" There was only one voice in the world like that. It was Kate's. Badly scalded though I was, I retained my presence of mind. I did not dare to turn. I could not fly. To be recognized then by the irrepressible Kate would be death. Never should she see me thus ! ! After a fearful pause, I heard Miss Biggs turn away, and speak to some one accompanying her. Hen- vens! that some one was my mother! !! I heard Kate laugh; I heard her as in a dream repeat her question to me. My resolution was taken, and with a tremendous effort I spoke. Despise, spurn me, but oh consider my po- sition—it was agonizing, it was liorrible. Stung to madness, I answered hoarsely : — rj ^ v ^^r. ** I — I do not know Jones ; he is dead ! " '"' ' The two wretched women shrieked but once, then walked rapidly away, and left me to my remorse. For a moment I did not know where I was. I did the next moment, for on looking up there was Kate and my mother standing before me. Explaining what I was doing, that miscreant Ensign Brownson was staring at me trightfully, and Kate — Kate was laughing. " Why, George," said my mother, slyly, " what arr you doing?" . ^ . :-| ^'Tent orderly," I replied doggedly, without looking •J— -(TV ■■'■--,- M • "Oh, George, I should like to shake hands with you," put in Kate, '' but '* : ' • ' J;_ __jU^JJ^^1g" MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. " Yes, I know. Too dirty. No matter," I inter- rupted laconically. " How ridiculous, George," said she, smiling des- tractingly. " But how sunburnt you are — quite brown ! " --rii, v-v., /•.;•-:;•-, ■ , ' ■■ -...;5.,: ■. •■■,-:, ' .:;^--- ■^.: (So I was — with smoke ; Fd been hanging around the cooking ranche for an hour before dinner.) ' , She was complimentary : but I was firm. ■, - . "Leave me, Kate," said I, wildly, " leave, and for- get me for ever. I am not brown — I am a ruined Jones. I am tent orderly." Kate laughed, my — yes, my mother even smiled, and that — that — no matter. Brownson said he thought I must be insane. I glared at him, and they went away to where a man was doing something at a square box on three legs, among some trees. . .. .^ , In sullen silence I resumed my work. #- *. :«i * vf * ' # # These stars represent a terrible pause that ensued. That accursed interval was the bane of my after life. For at its termination, I looked up. I gave one glance at the group around the square box, and then the horrible reality flashed upon me. Then, there, thus, — without a cry, without a struggle — I had been photo- graphed!! My shame was complete — my prospects were shattered for ever ! ! ! ! \i. ' ^ >i: ] i 4 ? * i e s \ ,iA-' r--; --* f .. " ;! li A-n V-r jwp* a- we J i iii #« i ■i^:i4i ■,;'■' ■! • ■ »i 1 • • 1)1' Ai « , v;oli:, V. i * , '' "" ' f r * • : : i ; ■ ;/r*> < CHAPTER XIV. 4 ,*' ^' ,;,! >» .-» » 1 • , ■ ^ \^r\ ^ » ; ^ *. .. ...■...^\, y>: '!*] THE PLEASURES OF BEING PHOTOGRAPHED. 'r"--r-" ■•■ / 1 •■' IT is with extreme difficulty and reluctance that I resume this narrative. Only at the cost of much mental sufifering, and by tremendous (though I rejoice to say triumphant) efforts to conquer my natural sensitive- ness and fear of ridicule, have I been able to proceed thus far. After the mortifying culmination of distress- es which I faithfully (but, oh, at what a cost !) chroni- cled in the last chapter, it becomes a doubly painful task to record the further humiliations, misfortunes, and perturbations of spirit that it was my sad lot to experience ere the campaign was o'er. In justice, however, to my readers, to myself, to my enterprising publishers, to posterity, and to my suffering compan- ions-in-arms, I will sacrifice all personal feeling, and hasten to bring these confessions to a speedy close. With that unswerving regard for truth which has ever been, I believe, a sore let and hindrance to my worldly prosperity and success, I shall conceal nothing. Touching that photograph (might I add, that accurs- ed photograph !) I will be frank. It weighs heavily upon me, but I will endeavor to be calm. But for that, — fMf, I should be a happy, a blightless man unto this day. Not so now, however. I am under a cloud, \ ' MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. §6 under a ban ; I am marked, branded, pointed at, and posterity will know me as the soldier-scullion ! that accursed photograph (neatly framed) haunts me, dogs my every step. I have ab?»ndoned the perfidious woman that won my love, and photographed me so ruthlessly, but the disgrace remains. In my father's halls they hung up the withering evidence of my shame, and maddened, I left my home. I returned, though, next day, and turned the picture face to the wall. When I came back it was all right, and a crowd round it. I watched my opportunity. I stole it, but did not know how to dispose of it safely. I have tried to lose it, I have hidden it, I have given it away, but like that faithful animal the cat, it always got back somehow. I have only one resource left now; I shall jump on it ! These are not my only miseries. A lovely woman lost to me lor ever, the lost esteem of my best friends, my- self an object of ridicule, are poignant griefs enough ; but oh the bitterness, the agony of seeing the object of my affections usurped by an hated rival. But I am digressing. I anticipate when I speak of the sorrows and trials that awaited me on my return home. Return we to the morning of the sixth day in camp. That I became moody, taciturn and irritable, might be naturally expected. I insulted the peaceable Niegelbock, said disagreeable things to Tom Higgins, and, what was far worse, for it was rashness, — quar- relled with Sergeant Biggs. I had reason to repent it though, for five minutes afterwards he maliciously warned me for guard duty. This provocative, added to prior irritating influences, had not a soothing effect; s ■ ' • \ «»^, ^ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. and it was in no very amiable frame of mind that I sat down to breakfast that morning, devounng it with a viciousness that was the subject of general remark and some censure. I did not . care : I was -riz I was reckless : I was worked up to a pitch of anger chat actually surpmes me now, for I am generally consid Ld so even-tempered. But the lamb was tra^nsformed into the lion, the worm had turned at last, and I never was so pugnacious, so much upon ™y"^"le° ready to "go" for somebody, as I was just then. That Some- body came to hand. Ma a' J i,'. J. .i ^ . * .* : ,Ci -' * ■tiu; '}> t -i- 'f-t J 'J 1 ,t J' 1 ' t - ■ s . ^ i,< * %,^ »^v J, .*^ I , ^ t , S\' i' ' -/ <■ i 1 ».ri * i •* s**- 'U^- ^"-^ 'li ■FM !'*^s' *»»■<.• * *, .^j. -C'l - > '*"\.^ M>^ -! / mmm ., I n r ?l ■ I Jl '•r f ^i >: ',; ..\ CHAPTER XV. . - V . . ': ' A TERRIBLE ENCOUNTER. " - ' '"' T was usingup the last knifefbl of a pnvate parcel of 1 butter, when the word "Attention," from Sergeant B.ggs, rung on my ear. Thi. signal generally heralded he approach of the Visiting Officer, whose duty it 's enSf '^.'"^\^™- *^ '-' of captains and' lieu- tenants) to visit each tent during meal time, and ascer- tam If there are any complaints. On the Visiting men I looked up hurriedly, started to my fee like a stncken deer, and with a knife in my hand, ad fury flashing from my angry eyes, I confronted the ^ creant, the coward Brownson ! ^. was Orderly Offir" for the day. I eyed him fiercely till I had breath enough to speak. Then in thundering tones of riSe ous indignation, I spoke. ones oi righte- " Complaints ? Yes, 1-1 complain. You are a a" (shortness of breath). I'ouaiea— a — "For heaven's sake sit down Tnn^c " i ■ , u.n r d"; -^""^ '-^y^^^ - - " tunic^ I heeded him not. I was desperate. , \°"a'-ea-a-" I pointed at him as he cowered beneath my gU„ce,-"a „,urderer,"(this was ther„; 3 1 / .* ■■#;. 66 ' -MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. est word I could find for the moment) — '* a coward, a ruffian, I denounce you !" -I paused for a reply. '* Anything matter with this fellow/' ht asked of Biggs, trying to appear calm.'' " Fellow, I am no fellow, said I, furiously, I am your rival. Heaven take me to — " an acute pain in the region of my coat-tails, here checked my utterance, and I feel confident that Thomas Higgins would have soon been no more had not Big Gorton, fortunately for him, torn me off. I glared around savagely. That cur,Brownson, was still standing in the opening of the tent. The sight of him maddened me ! " That ruffian is the cause of all this," I shouted hoarsely, trying to reach him, and should have done only that Gorton and Howlett were hanging on behind, perseveringly. " What is this man's name," asked the cunning scoundrel. - • Sergeant Biggs grinned and said, '^ Jones." (I have ** cut" him since, thou:7h). " Jones, ah, we must punish him. He is insubordi- nate." * ^ ' "Punish me? You?" I exclaimed, laughing wildly, "Come on; do it — do it — villain." I here made a superhuman effort to get at him. And did. For the tunic tail Howlett was clinging to, suddenly gave way. Gorton let, go of the other, and I ''went." The Visit- ing Officer and I rolled out together. I was just about to despatch the scoundrel with one blow, when a deluge of water completely took away my breath. Nearly blinded, I rolled off him (Brownson) and stood i "*■'- ..'A*^ /■*«■ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. --: !■-: up. To distract my attention, and fearing that fatal consequences would ensue, Sergeant Biggs had emptied a pail of wa*:er over me and my intended vie- . tim. He got wet, but this saved his life. And I con- fess that I felt considerably cooled down myself. Brownson looked at me menacing, as he allowed the Sergeant to dry him down. He said, ''' Private Jones, for your mother's sake and others' sake, I will let this matter go no further. But, be^vare." Saying this, he looked sinisterly at me, and walked away. He had his revenge. But I will not again antici- pate. . . , _ . It was now nearly nine o'clock, and I prepared to mount guard. I will hasten over describing the tedi- ous time I spent in cleaning wrong knapsacks, oiling everybody's rifle excepting my own, innumerable and unsuccessful attempts to fold up my great coat scien- tifically, putting on wrong cross-belts, fighting for my own cap and pugarree, (ultimately clearing out with somebody else's) etc. etc., suffice it to say that at 9.30 I was saddled and harnessed, and wretchedly uncom- fortable. After begging my mess-mates to send me something to eat, and without a word of comfort from them, in my great affliction, for they were unjustly in- censed at my late spirited conduct, I set off dejectedly to the private-parade ground, only too certain of the dreadful fate that was in store for mc. Death from inanition. As I stood panting in the hot morning sunlight, I would have given anything (except my revenge) to have been at home again ; for I was unhappy and 'ii 68 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. ■ t ; flii wretched. I had lost the esteem of my comrades, and the opportunity of annihilating my hated rival. ^' Hah! The villain Brownson, Inspecting Officer of the Guard ?'' Alas, it was too true. Standing drawn up in a line with the other men about to " go on guard," I looked and saw to my horror and alarm, my discomfited foe passing slowly in front of the rank be- fore me. I knew his dastardly disposition. I knew my fate. T knew now how he would be revenged on me. Let me pause to state that the smartest, cleanest man on guard is made Colonel's Orderly for the day ; the unclean, the unkempt are punished. I was not anxious to be Colonel's Orderly for the day, but I did not care to be punished. No matter. The miscreant inspected the front rank, selected a Colonel's Orderly for the day, and turned down the rank in which I was standing. I confess to feeling somewhat nervous ; and I thought his baleful eye rested on me for a moment with peculiar and fiendish satisfaction. I despised the man, but the pun — no matter. Nearer and nearer he came. I groaned inwardly, and bit my lips. Alas, I was helpless, I was now completely in his power. At last he stood behind me. With Spartan fortitude, I stood like a statue. The cunning scoundrel hitched up my knapsack, (it was somewhat low down) and grunted in pretended dissatisfaction. T ground my teeth, but moved not a muscle. Yet, oh how I yearn- ed, burned to turn round and strangle the monster on the spot. He again hitched up my knapsack, and opened his hated mouth. -:^^^ ^' - - ^' Sergeant, No. lo Company?" :.jv \ -ri ■■. MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. ' 69 "Here, sir," answered that traitor Biggs, with un- mistakable alacrity. '< A— a— this man is very dirty. What is his name Sergeant?" [The serpent !''] . --i-^^f^- . .r:nB:rm%J- . ^7ones, sir; Private Jones ;"— the parasite touched his cap. ■ "Jones ? Ah— ah~yes. He is excessively dirty.'' [*' Oh, the cowardly monster !"] * -^ . .: ^ . " Very sorry, sir, but it is difficult to keep all the men tidy, sir." "I suppose it is; but this man is disgraceadly, slov- enly, dirty." [I writhed with impotent rage]. ' ?^- "Well, ril see to him another time, sir," answered the minion. • "And (without heeding the interruption^ unsoldier- like." ['' Lying scoundrel!'^] . ; . <> Ves, sir, -'.vi'':' •* .' , ''....■ ''And grossly careless ; look at his knapsack, Ser geant, half off his back, and two specks of dirt on it" "Liar!" I hissed between my teeth, turning half round. "Silence, sirrah," he exclaimed, eyeing me com- mandingly. "I'll be revenged on you lor this, you cowardly sneak," I shouted in hearing of the whole assembly, and now fairly wound up to a pitch of frenzy, " Sergeant Biggs !" - " Sir,"— touching his cap for the second time. '' See that this man has two hours' knapsack drill when he comes off duty to-morrow morning !" , ' " Yes, sir, ' replied the renegade Biggs. ' . ' X / 70 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. My rage had reached its apex, and an unnatural calm stole over me on hearing these words, and v/ith- out uttering a word, I resigned myself to my fate. I could drift anywhere after that. Standing like one in a dream, the words came, - ,_ *' Duties, fours-deep." A fellow jerked me oneway, and another fellow hauled me another. - ^.^ ^ " Right-turn ; Quich-march." I did not move, so absorbed was I, but a brute behind, administering a sudden kick, I at last started off with the rest of the martyrs, like a lamb to the slaughter. My suffer- ings were intense, but I was prepared for anything now. \ 4m^'^':''^- ,„l .- ,f- ">»,?' msif ' • f i n;' '■i ) , ft.! 1 J . '.•$' . 5 ."^ f -; >. J ■ ' •i,.i, U',. :> 4L- . - • f/ tti v" 'u' ■,'<.;',',,. . CHAPTER XVI. A RETROSPECT — ON GUARD. ' IF the chronicler of these immortal memoirs were to become suddenly serious, or were to begin at this advanced stage of his narrative to indulge in any- thing approaching grave reflection, or in moral maxims, or m solemn sermonizing, in remorse, or in fact, in any display of a weak tendency to fall on hard facts and . the more solid domain of plain common, sense, — the probability is that the astute reader would sagaciously conclude that the chronicler had either become sud- denly sick, or had, by long-continued and abortive attempts to be funny, or at least entertaining, relapsed at last into a state of hopeless idiocy. For these cogent reasons, the chronicler is far too wary of his reputation to think of doffing his parti- colored garb at this late hour. As he has gone thus far, so will he proceed to the end. The foregoing remarks were begotten by recalling to mind thebitter and meditative emotions which filled me as 1 stood, dumb, dull, and disconsolate in the door of the Guard-Tent on the morning of the 12th day in Camp, i i^^ - ^ I had come on guard, full of hope, full of manly ambition to discharge my duty as a soldier,---in a n ''4 I 72 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. soldiers* most important and responsible duty, perhaps — that of sentry. Engaged for the last six days in discharging a task of the most repulsive and degrad- ingkind^ — that of tent-orderly — I had seen the stern and martial-looking sentry pass and repass my tent with a feeling immeasurably beyond jealousy. Comparing his present position with mine — what a gulf was there ! I had borne the taunts and jeers of those different and indifferent sentries with much cheerfulness, but I could not scorn them. As the dread symbol of mili- tary authority, I reverenced them. Judge of my feelings then, when I found myselt a dread symbol of military authority myself Oh, the exquisite ecstasy of contemplating other tent orderlies ; oh, the felicity of refusing peremptorily to allow the *• men" to go beyond the regulated precincts. How I would insist upon them wearing their belts when I did allow them to go out. Shouldn't I be " heavy" on the passes. These were all painful and onerous tasks, it is true, but they were duties, and was I not a soldier? '-^^ ■- ^ ,',--.: ■•.:;ij-,--v-^. -....:: ..-■,-- ..-■:- .- :r - Full of these noble thoughts I found myself, with fifteen other panting aspirants facing the " old guard " (not Wellington'c) at lo a.m. on a warm June morn- ing. \. ■ . , - ' Tlie appearance of the " old guard" was not indes- cribably grand. ' Eager to commence my duties, I did not notice them at first, as they stood dejectedly in two ranks waiting to be dismissed. Certain preliminaries, how- ever, having to be gone through, before the exchange '.) MY CAMPAIGN ATj^ NIAGARA. could be made, we, the new guard, unstrapped our- knapsacks which were already becoming irksome, and lying down on them had thus more leisure to inspect our antecedents. The " old guard " looked very old, they looked ancient, mildewed, cobwebby, and sug gested the idea that they had been on guard 500 years at the very least. They were haggard, unshaven, woe- begone, unkem])t, unwashed, irritable, sullen, used up, snarlish, begreased, broken-spirited, and, as I after- wards learned — breakfastless. I ought to have been terrified at that ghostly group, but I wasn't. Spes fallit. And when the old guard vanished (apparently into thin air) I started up cheerfully, buckled on my knap- sack, and being duly inspected was drafted off as a ^* relief." Owing to the unevenness (or lumpiness) cf the ground, as we marched off, our straggling appear- ance, as Tom Higgins observed (he was smoking a pipe outside our tent as I passed) was more lamb-like than soldier-like. This was more possible than com- plimentary. Deposited one by one at each successive post, I at last found myself alone, watching the retreating, but not laggard steps of the relieved sentry. I was on guard. For two hours, I was to be monarch of all I surveyed. According to received instructions, I acted strictly on the alert, did my duty, and for the first five minutes walked backward and forward on my " beat" at a vigorous speed of about fifteen miles per hour. I slackened off gradually, and came down to half a mile per hour. But my crushed hopes of ambition were t -'■ "^< ', f. ;S- 74 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. the cause of this sepulchral speed. I became dis- Pirited. , *. ^,„ , . , ,,.....,,,, .,^,^ In my first 'spell/ I had come to the conclusion that guard duty was not exciting. This was between* the hours of 2 and 4, when things were pretty quiet most of the fellows being away on pass (there being no afternoon parade) and the remainder asleep. In the second 'spell/ (8p.m. till 10) I found too much ex- citement for a man of my quiet disposition. And the insults and abuse I suffered were not soothing, nor were they expected. My post being contiguous to that of the adjoining battalion may account for this in some measure. '? ;'. : ". . : • But these were not the only troubles that made my heart disquieted within me. i CHAPTER XVII. ; ,V ; OUARD DUTIES EXTRAORDINARY. IT was easy enough walking about majestically, with a rifle under one's arm, the ''cynosure of neigliboring eyes/' the admired of camp visitors, the scourge and dread of delinquent privates; but one thing, among others, made me particularly uneasy. I could not re- member the different salutes, and the various modes of holdmg my rifle on necessary occasions. To the un- mitiated it may seem a matter of indifference how a rifle is held, or what position the body is in, so long as both are smart and soldierlike. But it is not so. ''in the regular service, a wrong ''present" or position of the rifle, on grave occasions, is, I understand, punish- able by instant death ! As there is a certain convj .li- ment for certain officers at certain times, this '' salu- ting" becomes a painfully ^///certain matter. After nightfall is the most trying time, as the dusk is inimical to clear vision. Determined to sliow every respect to my superior officers, (with one exception), I saluted the coloneFs groom on my first night on guard with full honors. It was a standing joke among the boys until the end of camp. The junior major was ■ strolling about an hour later, in undress, and taking him for a festive loafer, I adjured him to ^^ clear out I 76 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. of that pretty early." I was reported next morning, but was discharged by the much-amused colonel. I suppose that I carried my gun in every discription of way excepting the proper way. Had it been loaded, there would have been a military funeral somewhere, I feel earnestly persuaded. Of course these two hours' spells (four of them, and four hours off each time for sleep, etc.,) may.'be very good practice for the volunteer, — but, oh ! the terrible mono- tony of that wearisome walk backwards and forwards, the only enemy to contend with your own companions- in-arms. A tread-mill would be a luxury to this. On that salutary contrivance, there is nothing to distract a man's attention, — the very thing itself is interesting, because unless considerable care be experienced, per- sonal damage will ensue. On guard, in the day-time at least, it is the very essence of listlessness. The pro- pinquity of an enemy might impart a degree of liveli- ness, but this luxury is denied. And then there is the depressing uncertainty of being mealless. The pic- ture of the waiting guard in the tent at meal-times was a study. To see the famished wretches fixing their eyes wildly on the door in expectation of the respec- tive ration -orderlies, who never came, was mournful in the extreme. When a conscientious orderly did bring succour to his mess-mate, it was a bitter satire on our common nature to behold the latent cannibalism which, not till then, developed itself. The public opening of the envied '' canteen" which contained the rations, was also singularly affecting. Sometimes the happy guards- man would ravenously tear open the lid, only to find V. J ^ J MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 77 a knife and fork and some salt carefully tied up in paper. There was always something deficient. If soup were sent, there would be a knife and fork, and no spoon ; if meat, a spoon and no knife and fork. Sometimes sugar would be sent instead of salt. As for myself, I was doomed to utter neglect. I had no dinner sent at all. It was only by means of a cunning stratagem, and the kind-heartedness of Nie- gelbock, that I was saved from starvation. It was in this wise : — - ^ - The beat I was placed on was not far from my own tent. Watching his opportunity, the good fellow, Knickerbocker, dressing himself as if mounted for guard, stole out of the tent, took my rifle, and walked on the beat, while I, darting hastily into the tent he had just vacated, devoured everything I could lay my hands on, and then returning stealthily, retook my rifle, thanked the good-natured German for the se- cond time, and resumed my march as if nothing had happened. - This put me in good spirits enough. And at the latter half of my second spell (from 9 a.m. to 10,) I had great iieed of them. Five minutes after last post, that is, 9.30, I began to challenge. This will give a faint idea of the fuodus operandi : — ' Two dark figures just outside the line. Myself : — '' Halt ! Who goes there ?" Dusky figures : — Shut up, you darned fool, can't you?" ' "-'^ ^ "■•*■■ ■ ■ ■' " "■'■^'■"" Myself (sternly). " Halt ! Who goes there?" I- 78 MY CAMPAtGN AT NT AG AH A. -J,?!. ist Dusky Figure : — " It's all right old tellow; it*s me. »» Myself (irritated). — '' Who the devil's mc ?" 2nd D JSKY Figure : — *^ Here, come old cock, have a drink.'' ■ . , . Of course I refused. ** Then, iiere goes !" and two dusky figures make a dart past in the dark. I shout " Guard, turn out ?' and give hot chase. But it is useless, the '' blockade-runners'' dive into sjcme tent ; I fall over a tent-rope, and give the thing up. ' . This is the bold form of blockade-running. To creep past across the line on hands and knees is another form. Irritated by my recent discomfiture, I caught one fellow at this. I have a portion of his coat-tails by me at this present moment. As a trophy I value it. The quiet Liours of early morning I found most try- ing to bear while on guard. About 2.30 -a.m., when all was a quiet as the grave, I could scarcely keep my eyes open. Blinking in a drowsy manner, an appari- tion presented itself. A figure clad in pants and shirt issued silent, ghost-like, out of a tent alongside, waved its arms wildly, ruffled its hair, waved its arms again in semaphore fashion, and disappeared, leaving me in a cold perspiration. I have never been able to account for the appearance of this spectre, but the sergeant oi the guard found me fist asleep under a tree, and it had been raining for a fall hour. He was !♦ ■ \ > MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 79 a good-natured fellow was that sergeant, and he only reprimanded me slightly. ON GUARD— 3.30 A.M. Although I had a chance to sleep every two hours, the enjoyment of that blessing was almost impossible for above half an hour at a time. The incessant " Guard, turn out/' (for no particular purpose) haunted me like a nightmare. Another thing irritated me. The reptile, Brownson, as Visiting Officer, inight sicken me with his presery.o. But Avhether he was off duty, or was afraid of my vengeance, T Vnow not : He never came. My sufferings as guard were over ^^ last, and at io.,^o a.m., the following morning, I wearily r-6?-^ntered my own tent, worn out and hungry, but happy, My short- comings were forgotten and forgiven, and the few following days passed over in the usual routine of camp-duties, to which I had now become pretty well accustomed. I I 7 A. I CHAPTER XVIII. A MARTIAL AMUSEMENT OF THE I9TH CENTURY. T "f TITH the exception of the memorable event* V V ^vhich closed the Campaign and will terminate this narrative, nothing of note occun-ed during the last four days in camp. The following melancholy incident, ho^^ever, deserves to be recorded : On the morning following my release from guard- duty, I was sauntering about the tents (there was no parade that morning) smoking idly, when my atten- tion was attracted by hearing a confused noise of many voices some distance off. Looking in the direc- tion, I saw a human figure that had apparently just dropped from the clouds. I ran hastily to the spot, and found that this strange visitant had been caught in a blanket, which seven or eight sturdy boys were holding beneath. His descent was followed by a roar of laughter, and the next instant, the same indi- vidual was sent up again, and, accompanied by another roar, descended as before. The mystery was then explained. It was the popular martial amusement I had often heard of, but never seen until i^/^w, — Blanket Tossing. T was immensely amused* an/l 4f§wmf^ nearer joined the merry throng of jolly jokers. ■'' The Great Battle of Nir AT NIAGARA. army of which they had the honor to form a part, and unless they cut off the enemy to a man, or allowed themselves to be cut off to a man, they would prob- ably be cashiered and deprived of camping next year. Above all, they must keep cool, — -and keep fighting. If they could not distinguish the enemy, they must distinguish themselves; — in plain words, rather than cease fighting, they must have a set-to among them- selves, and slaughter everything before them, — except- ing the officers. By this time we had been reinforced by another batal- lion of fifty one strong, and as the ColoneFs speech ter- minated just when they arrived, we became suddenly in- spired, and a tremendous " Hurrah," shook the ground beneath our feet. ' A battery of field artillery had also arrived, and posted themselves in front of us, the guns pointed to the rear, — and this circumstance had certainly a nervous effect upon many of the men, who naturally supposed that the guns might go off unexpectedly. Thes2 last detachments were addressed by their re- spective Colonels, and at the close, the Brigade- Major suggested that as the enemy had still failed to appear, and as a vast concourse of eye-witnesses (con- sisting of four little boys and a Yankee soldier) were collected on the heights of Fort George, to witness the fighting and telegraph the result to their respective newspapers, he suggested that in the meantime wc should commence the engagement among ourselves. At this crisis, however, a body of troops was seen ascending the crest of the hill to the right of the posi- ,. MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 87 tion held by th^ Ca radians. This changed the face of affairs. The Brigade- Major withdrew his last order, and on the instant, a Junior Major was dispatched in hot haste to reconnoitre, and ascertain the movements of the approaching troops. Quick as thought a Junior Major vaulted into his saddle, and dashed off gallflnt.- \y on his mission. As the aide-de-camp got half v/ay across the field, his 'high-spirited horse was seen to execute a series oi pirouettes d^nd "d 'fficu 1 1 manoeuvres, followed by a succession of gyrations, in the rapid whirlof which the officer was'lost to view. When the gallant brute came to a sudden standstill at last, it was observed that the unfortunate aide-de-camp had disappeared. Alas ! he had fallen off. This episode was the commencement of trouble. For the unfor- tunate officer, extricating himself out of the thick mud which covered the field, again mounted his horse,' and dashed back breathlessly into our midst. Highly ex- cited he communicated the intelligence that the sus- picious body of troops was the enemy ^ that they had behind them a whole park of heavy artillery, which they were rapidly bringing into position. Without a moments reflection, they were instantly formed into square, and with a cheer and a yell, were led at headlong speed against the enemy in front. Whether the enemy were taken by surprise, or they w^ere unprepared, can never be known, but the mo- ment they saw, the Canadian soldiers advancing with such formidable front, a panic seized them and' they turned incontinently to fly. But their mad assailants were already upon them, and the frenzied Canadians 88 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. failing to see that these were their own troops (the ill- fated 77th,) poured on the devoted 51 with their own 500, and butchered them to a man. They also captured the artillery, from which the gunners had succeeded in making good their retreat. This deplorable blunder dispirited the men, and added to the fact that they themselves had spiked their own guns, completely incapacitated them (enfeebled in spirit and resources) from meeting the real enemy who was yet to appear. Nor had they to wait long. Even as they were digging trenches for their dead, a heavy tramping, as of horses and armed men was heard, and away to the left of the wood which skirted the lower extremity of the plain, a vast army could be seen ap- proaching, with its thousand bayonets glittering in the morning sun. At its head could be seen the Com- mander-in-Chief, waving his wand majestically to the measured tread of his soldiers in rear. Alas, there was no mistake this time. It was the enemy. And the crisis had come. The Canadians, confused by their late fatal error, and terror-stricken by the immediate and inopportune appearance of the enemy, now saw that no time was to be lost. But they had little hope of success in the encounter which now undoubtedly was imminent. Had their cavalry been on the ground, they would have attacked the overpowering enemy with more confidence. But, another blunder, their cavalry had not yet got on the field. By this time the enemy had halted, and were rapidly bringing four heavy parks of artillery in front of theni MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 89 ''Right Brigade, come to attention/' sung out through the Canadian lines, and in an instant the or- der was given to " Retreat." Quick as lightning the order was complied with by the cheerful Canadians, and in a moment they were scouring the plain, which needed it,— it was very dirty and muddy. No sooner had the terrified Canadians turned and fled, than a body of mounted soldiers was seen de- bouching at a rapid gallop out of the wood to the right. It was the missing cavalry. Hailed with joy by the dispirited Canadians, the enemy completely failed to notice the new arrivals in the hurry and excitement of pursuit, and ere they could collect themselves, the Canadian cavalry, by a skilful and rapid manceuve, turned their flank eflec- tively. At the same time the retreating infantry halt- ed, turned about, were thrown into square echelon, and with an extended line of skirmishers in front, and flanked by their artillery, bore down like an avalanche on the now terror-stricken enemy, who were already crippled by the Canadian cavalry in rear, which had routed their own astounded and surprised horsement, and spiked part of their guns. The face of affairs was now completely changed ; and a scene of carnage ensued which had never before been paralleled. The roar of the Canadian artillery, the shrieks of the slaughtered enc my, who were now utterly disorgan- ized, the incessant volleys of the riflemen, the hoarse orders of the excited officers on horseback, the vile IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 ^«s I.I Ufi M 12.2 ta I3A iik ui tm us ■l,.n 1^ 1.25 u IJ^ , 6" ». ^^ "■# ''-^ ^l ^J^^ >> ^'^*' ^ J? ^'/W /A ''I Sciences Corporatioii 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTrR.N.Y. 14SS0 (716) ■72-45^3 ^ 1 1'^ 90 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. v execrations of the officers who had fallen off, the mad charges, the repulses, the groans, yells, and wild cheers, — all made up a spectacle that only a great battle can afford. Officers who had attended the riding school regularly were seen dashing to and fro to ascertain who were the enemy and who were not. ^ A general, riding alone into the midst of a regiment, would exclaim, ■ ^*Are you the enemy? what regiment?" . *^ The 44th." ^ --■ " Ah, the enemy ! Come on, men,'' and waving his hand to four gallant fellows who were in rear, they would attack them mercilessly and be cut to pieces. By a mistake of this nature the enemy effectively an- nihilated the remaining portion of its cavalry, mistaking it for the Canadian's. The Canadian Cavalry . also came to grief. Dismounting their horses, for some stratagic purpose, the ill-conditioned;: brutes became suddenly furious, made a stampede and rushed at head-long speed, riderless, into the town of Niagara, pursued by the unfortunate cavalry-men, who captured them not till they reached the borders of the lake. This mishap might have proved fatal to the Can- adians, had not the enemy been completely exhausted and ruined by their ovv^n blundering. Even now% the battle was decided, and by a tremendous and final charge, the Canadian infantry caiiie^\down on the ill-fated foes, hemmed them in, and butchered them to a man. , The conflict was now virtually over, and the victor- ious|Canadians adjourned to their respective canteens for refreshments. V. n^ M ■l^.: '('1 ■ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 91 :,,,\' . ■, ■"'■'■ :'-->^V; Vm' Cheering and speeching now became the order ot the day, and the fun grew fast and furious. But it was of short duration. An officer, looking towards Fort George, discerned' to his amazement and disgust, the Jate annihilated enemy posted on the heights in overwhelming force. In an instant, the " Assembly" was sounded. In anodier every man was under arms, and the cavalry having returned from their late chase, the Canadians with irresistible fury bore down for a second time on the enemy. The artillery played on them^on^* either flank, the cavalry charged them in the rear, 'and the infantry opened a steady fire on them in ^ front ; but to the chagrin of the Canadians, not one of the enemy fell. This was disheartening. It was dastardly. At this point a staff consultation was held, imd there was no alternative left but this resource, which "was quickly arrived at. The fire hose must be fetched from Niagara! It was done ! ., : "^ * "^: Keeping the unsuspecting enemy engaged till it arrived, about 500 dollars worth 'of cartridges and powder was lavished freely on 'either side, with 'no ap- parent result, — till the hose made its appearance. . Hastily, but secretly, a pipe was laid to the river, — and, ere a minute had elapsed, a terrible deluge swept down, a death -bearing cataract on the doomed^and devoted foe. Li- ^-t:.' -^ Not a man was left ! ^ .* i- .!; s^ : t' ; The battle was o'er ! : v 92 MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. " So ended the Great Battle of Niagara, and who can tell the slaughter : 20,000 men drenched to the sk n, 4 men killed by the deadly muzzle-stopper, the field literally strewn with exploded cartridges, bayonets, corks, and muzzle-stoppers, with here and there a coat- tail telling of some deadly struggle — these and a thou- sand oth'^r melancholy evidences, told of the great conflict that had just past,-— and the sun went down blood-red on that memorable 20th of June. [ * if ■?(■ * if V. I returned home covered with wounds and mud, and decorated with a discolored eye. My uniform is a mere shadow of its former self. Though thankful for my experiences of camp-life, I prefer another suit — a legal one; and though this was my first action, I hope it will not be my last — professionally speaking. Da- [ MY CAMPAIGN AT NIAGARA. 93 maged in the result of the first action, that successive actions may prove productive of still heavier damages, even that one for breach of promise against Kate Biggs, spinster, is the sincere wish of Geo. JowEs Barrister, V. THE END. t^'wiimtamis.'piisiamsmm As it is the fashion iff these latter times to consider pre- faces' introductory" remarks^ etc., as mere excresences, particularly in hooks" of 'this [?iature ; and as, if read at all, they^are frequently read last of all, autJwrs ' themselves writing them last of all, this afface is put in its appropriate place. APOLOGY. THIS little^book scarcely'deserves the dignity of a preface, perhaps. But as the Afflicted Public have of late years had to^'digest (or try to) a good bol- us of what is vaguely known as '"comic literature," it may be well to state, by-way of palliation, how^this book drifted into the market,'"and; for what object it was begotten. It was [the following "remarks^ can be skipped ^over, if the A. P. 'doesn't want fto know why this book drifted, etc.,] originally intended to form only one or two serial papers in Pure Gold, but as the sub- ject showed itself unexpectedly fruitful, and also because the readers of that journal (probably, the military ele- ment) were pleased to'consider the papers palatable, they grew,' and grew, and grew, till they reached their present dimensions, just like Jack's Bean Stalk, only not quite so profitable, perhaps. Without aspiring to be considered a satire, it doesn't .. APOLOGY. 95 even set out to be a caricature of any description. This, without doubt, the A. P. will find out for them- • selves, that is, if they read it at all. What it claims to be is simply an Account of Camp Life and its incidents, with the strictest regard for fic- tion. The author has tried to be funny in many places, — perhaps successfully in some; but even in those parts where he has essayed to be facsetious and failed, the A. P. will find entertainment enough, he is painfully confident. Nevertheless, to those who were in camp with him he hopes these reminiscences will prove as pleasant to them as—profitable to himself. T. W. V C!?«8-8lB»«^yjtW«K,fn 'ii :!*< . it.f:n-'r,rt^ )H,«^^f^ . ^j^. ■«rV»^;-»«^j^-4(.. '* mw •mi^^}■■■^:' ,"•— >,'\ , , ••'I* >r»Hs,-' II >■ '.' », . 'Jl ,'\.i^K'!} ■♦ ' i I -, '•■ >■'_.. ■ -•-.', (• ft a ••»""■ '''(ei^^ijSiiltrt^i _^ ,^ iH-f'- <■ • Fi \ ' i in' ' :l .<\ UNBOUNDED SUCCESS OF THE FLORllfCfi SILENT MOTION smms mm mm, Gen' I Agent Office, 131 Tonge St., _ TORONTO. 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