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1 2 3

^,> THE

POLITICIAN.

T. AAT. 'JP,

•' His cheeks di^iplay a rony flush,
Hut politicians never l)lu8h ! ''

(Page 17.)

ROSE PUBLISHING

1888.

THE POLITICIAN.

'l\ w

IJi.^ c]M-]iri dirtplfiy n rosy AukIi
I'ut politk'i.-mfs jit'wr Mn«h ! '

(IV-- 17.)

"■f* CtX'Otttct

ROSE PUBLISHING C

1888.

Entered occordinfr to the Act of Parliament of
Canada, in the year one thousand eijflit
hundred and ciKhty-eijrht, by the Rosk Pen
UHHtMO Co., at the department of Agri-
culture.

>i •>> \

(|trolo0ne.

t \^*»<W i^-N."*

'I ME was when to the Poet's skill
Extraneous aid was lent at will,
And his first care was to invoke
The Muse, to aid his varied lay,
And at her shrine devotion pay ;
Then lyres were touched and harps awoke,
And mystic minstrelsy bespoke
Its varied forces to combine,
And build with care the measured line.

The Muse no lon«^er holds her sway,
The harps and lyres have pass'd away ;
No genii come at our command,
Or wave for us their flow'ry w.'.nd ;
No beacon li^'hts Parnassus now,
No glamour clusters round its brow ;
No sighing votaries linger there,
But all is cold and bleak and bare.
And so, in these degenerate days,
One scarce expects the meed of praise ;

rnoLOGVE.

Though stirring tliemos ho may reliearse,
Tlie critics sure will <lamu his verse.

No matter ! liere my task be<j;ius,

The struggle of the " outs and ins."

To paint on this unsullied page,

The nuble, patriotic rage

Which animates the Grit and Tory ; —

'Tis a new field unsung in story.

Wlmt forces here comi? into play,

What passions kindle in the fray,

What frauds are rife, what tricks of state

Impose on the electorate,

Who have, it cannot be denied,

A " weakness " for the winninof side.

How dead men vote^ and " bound to win, '

A Member may be " counted in."

With much besides of right and wrong —

Theme worthy of immortal song !

it J 1 1 1'' House pnjlouL^ed its sittings late,
>3?\ Till wearied with tlie long debate ;

Where livals, arine<l with tact and skill,
Assail, defend, retort at will.
Since now, for reasons to appear,
A struggle rages fiercely here.
Taxing the Speaker's utmost pow'r
To (piell the tempests of the hour,
Where party zeal and party hate
Bode ovil to the infant state !

Tho Premier sees with anxiou.j eyes
New complications daily rise ;
On him a load of anxious care
Weighs heavil}^, and talents rare
Might fail the ship of state to guide,
W^here breakers loom on every side.
Besides, to plague his public life,
A thousand lesser cares are rife, —
How to unite his motlcv train,
His ])owerful rivals to n^strain,
How lull liis timid followers' fears.
And tickle the electors' ears.
How organize against the hour
When ballots wield their fatal power ;
How bear with dignity the fate
Which hurls from office soon or late ;
How now disi)el the clouds which low'r,
And sail triumphant back to pow'r,

THE POUT Id AN.

For these \\k\ nniHt hi.s plans prepare.

Meantime the House ahsurh.s liis eare,

Since ntunly foes hia '.'onrsc assail,

And pierce his heaviest coat of mail.

His favorite policy deride,

And threaten ruin deep and wide.

A«^'hast his fol lowers are seen,

With droopini; crost and sullen mien, —

If then the final vote were taken

The Ministry were sorely shaken.

fnto the breach the [.eader darts,
And summons all his practis'd arts;
Master of fence and rare of skill,
He awes the House with force of will.
He thrusts and parries undismay'd,
For his is a Damascus blade.
And keen his wit, as on his foes
Fall heavily his weighty blows;
Cheer after cheer his sallies ^reet,
And vict'ry crowns him in his seat.

But nightly new a.ssaults Vjegin,
Each party strives a point to win ;
The charge and counter- charge are rife,
And passion swells the wordy strife,
Hot words across the floor are toss'd,
And buncombe motions made and lost.
Yet still the members seem to vie
Who next shall catch the Speaker's eye ;
Not that they hope a vote to cliange.
But that their words have wider range,
And reach the country's listening ear,
For an election now is n4^ar !

' ^ ' ^< ' » "m : - v>r. - — ;— »■

CANTO I.

That was the secret of tlio <jue.st

Whidi troubh'(l many a Mtinher's breast;

Besides his Riding's special chiiins,

Fkch one had certain private aims;

How to conduct liimself with i^'race.

How to confirm liimself in place,

How to secure the public voice,

And be again the people's choice

Such thoughts consumtMl liir-. day i

As sped the tardy hours away.

Besides he wished his friLnds to ^Tiow

He spoke at least an hour or so

On * »me deep (question of tlu^hour,

Arid moved the House with vvoi'd; of powtir

Though (they might never know the j'^ke),

It was to empty seats he spoke I

1 <

Inv,

Meantime tlie smoking-room was full,
(Those speeches are so horrid dull !)
And i\\v saloon below was such,
— Well, I must not reveal too much,
Suffice to say, the wines were rare,
And jolly fellows, too, were there!

<% -

What varied schemes have here a place,
And jostle in the doubtful race !
Charters for this, and grants for that,
A 1 lobby in each Member's hat ;
Some public work, some burden raised,
No matter, if he be but praised.
The city Member dare not frown
On what will please the bustling town.
The man returned by rural votes
Grows eloquent on wheat and oats,
And hopes to gain a vote of thanks
By advocating " Farmers' Banks."

Tin: I'OLITICIAN.

Hor<' liUnilx'.r iriterosts iiuiHter stroiiir,
And Maimlacture swells the throng.
Whiskey has friends as well as throats,
And counts in secret many votes.
All these and more the places fill,
And ])ore the weary House at will !

The rulincr question of the hour.
Was how to i!;et, or keep, in power,
Wniat cry could now the country swoop,
What principles 'twere wise to keep.
With whom alliances were best,
How to lull party ghfjsts to rest;
How far to plead the party needs, .
In justifyini,' doubtful dof^ds;
How to outflank a danj^^'rous foe ;
Ih)w to avert a threatened blow ;
How to attain a hit^her fam« ,
And blast a dialing rival's name;
How errini^- Tories might be shrived,
Or wicked Grits securely " hived."
Such were the topics oi' the day,
])iscussed, not in a public way,
l)Ut among party friends alone,
Autl in a guai'ded untlertono ;
Witlulrawn beyond the Speaker's gaze,
Within the sn\oking-room's dull haze.
In corridor and stately hall,
In quiet corners at the ball.
In pronu'nade, where two or three,
In groups together you might see ;
O'er social glass and friendly pipe.
The plots and counter-plots grew ripe,
And seemed to fill the very air,
Intangible, yet everywhere!
The party caucus now became

CANTO L

An aid to play the party game :
Stance of leadini^^ spirits, where
The chiefs their policy declare, '
Consult, advise, mature, exphiin,
And oiganize the new campaign.
Happ}' if moved ])y mastei liand,
HoUling Ids forces in conunand ;
Who, skilled to rea,d tlie hiimau heart,
Assigns to each his proper part ;
Ready to curh impatient zeal,
And wounded pride to promptly heal,
A man of ready tact, v/ho knows,
The strength alike of friends and foes.
A general of supeirior sense,
Skilled in attack and in defence,
Whose party loves, whose rivals hate,
Such is the man shall rule the state.

'Hi

Both parties claim such men to hold,
And point with pride to leaders hohl,
Whose beck they follow and oi»ey,
Each leading uti'a ditPrent way, —
Where one says " black," the other " white, '
To be contrary in the tight.

At length the ses^ioji woie away;
The Leaders, wean(.'d with the fray,
Welcom'd its now approaching close.
The Members in their places (h)se,
" Or read, or lounge the hours a\\'ay,
Killing the time as be.->t they may ;
Now scribbling off' a hasty note,
Now rising with their friends to vote,

n
is

iff

¥ • -

THE POLITICIAN.

Cheering whato'er their Leaders say,
And with them votini^ yea or nay.

Thus in the Comnions wane the liours,
Till dissolution ends its powers.

I HE session of the House was o'er,
In fact, "the House " was now no more !
The Members had received their pay,

And taken each his homeward way,

Laden with Legislative spoils,

The gleanings of their winter's toils : —

Blue books, and printed speeches, — dull,

And trunks with stationary full,

Enough to kindle all the fires,

Until the youngest sons are sires !

Thus homeward aped the ex-M.P.,
Delighted all his friends to see ; '
Knows everybody at a glance,
Or, if in doubt, he takes his chance,
Salutes them all, and smiles on those
He knew before as party foes.
" How are you John, and James and Bill ?
Come in till we our glasses fill.
How are your wives and children all ?
Bless me 1 that l)oy has grown so tall 1
Now Tompkins, is that really you 'i "
A friendly grasp, and " how d'ye do ? "
This he repeats with varying phrase,
And always for the liquor [)ays ;
Making himself " a hale good bellow,"
Until his friends at times grow mellow,

^■^1

THE POLITICIAN.

A f^'reat event in (Irawiriir near,
Awakenin*^ lioj^e, inspiring fear,
Bearing fierce pjtssions in its train,
Giving to baser thoughts the rein,
When men their nobler instincts smother,
And basely buy and sell each other.
When the dead show themselves as men,
And answer to their names airain ;
\\ heii warmest friendship turns to hi^te,
And party rancour shakes the state !
All this and more shall soon appear,
For an election now is near !

From the great city's glittering dome,
To the backwoodsman's humble home,
A something seems to fill the air, —
Vague expectation eveiy where.

'* Who's coming out, who's going to run ? "
Are questions asked b\ e\Qvy one. ,
The local leaders still are mum.
The would-V>e candidates are dumb ;
But nod and smirk enough to show,
If press'd, they might consent, you know.

" Will Simplex run ? " — our ex M. P.,
Ask him, and you perchance shall see,
Simplex replies, — " It all depends,
On the good wishes of my friends
I'm in thei' hands, to stand or fall."
Meantime he canvasses them all.

The Party monster never sleeps,
But day and niglit its vigil keeps ;
Excited now, it paws tlie ground,
And rampant, glances wildly round ;
Erect*} its mane and snilfs the air,
As scenting plunder here and there ;

CANTO II.

Moves its huge tail, and far away,

iiriugs otixcr inovoments into [nay ; ..

Gathers its friends from far and near,

As Delegates, who now appear.

Their task to learn the party's choice,

And give tlie ])arty thouglit a voice, —

To be the arbiters of fate,

And choose a party candidate.

Behold them in the ])ublic hall,

With dusty floor and dingy wall,

Its benches comfortless and bare,

Wlule smoky columns till the air.

Arranged in groups, a motley crowd,

Whose conversation waxes loud;

Making o perfect Babel there.

Till calTd to order by the chair.

Now there are Smith, and Jones and Brown,

Men of repute, if not renown,

Besides the late, esteemed M. P.,

And others there perchance may be,

Who all have fairly grounded hopes.

And who know how to '* pull the ropes ; "

Of whom but oidy one can be

The party's chosen nominee.

And yet the friends of all must choose,

The man to win, the man to lose.

First, the ex-Member has the floor,
Andlightsliis former battles o'er;
Recounts the laws he helped to make ;
And the great interests now at stake;
Tells how he shared the long debate, .'.\

And voted with the party straight.
Not anxious now the post to fill,
But zealous for the party still —

TUE POLITICIAN.

He's in thnir liands, and will abide
By what the delegates decide.

Then followed Smith and Brown and Jones,

Each in his very Mandost tones ;

ReferriniT^ much to public aims,

And hinting at their party claims :

Brown was i)articularly clever,

And seemed to tliink it " now or never."

At lengtli after mature debate,
And as the hour was j^rowinjL]^ late,
The weaker carididates withdrew,
Until there now were only two.
Simplex and Brown the hall divide,
The delegates take either side ;
Simplex the favoiite appears.
And now is hailed with rousing cheers.

Simplex, 'twas plainly to be seen,

The fav'rite all along had been ;

Had he not laurels won before.

Why not achieve a victory more ?
" Hurrah for Simplex ! " — one and all,
" Simplex ! " a hundred voices call !

Then Simplex made another speech,
Shook hands with all within his reach
Thanked them profusely o'er and o'er,
** Would win, as he had won before.
But they must cordially unite.
And join their forces in the fight.
'Twas true," he said, '* our factious foes
Are dealing us some heavy blows,
But their pretences are * too thin/
And if united, we shall win ;

\. \

CANTO 11.

Our policy is large and w ide,
And claims support on every side.
Always associate in your mind,
Party with country intertwined ;
Our |)j.irty, I of course would say,
But more of this another day.
Here let me add a word or tw .^,
Don't be found out, whate'er you do.
Where needed there shall be supplies,
But get our friends to organize ;
And one and all, employ your wits
To crusli these pertinacious Grits."

[Great Cheering.']
Then followed speeches of less note, '
And platitudes I need not quote, ' ;
All ending with a " hip hurrah ! "
Which closed the business of the day.

'i i

QIauta iit.

^OTH parties at conventions play;

^ And so upon an early day,
Reformers <,'atlier in the hall,
Responsive to the party call ;
On party themes deliberate,
And choose a party candidate.
Yet after all " what's in a name ?
At V)Ottom they are much the same.
Our ToricK have no bhiei- blood,
Our Radicals conserve tlie good,
Both, minor rivalries can smother,
To save the country from each other !
If you reverse a tiling or two,
The rest for both alike will do :
Some speeches which do not enthuse,
And stale events, which pass for news.
tY list of nominations, framed,
To compliment the persons named;
A doubtful honor soon resigned,
And only given to be decHned, —
Tactics 1)y Tories still pi'eserv'd,
And e'en by Liberals conserved ;
Now duly honor'd, till at last,
The votes for candidates are cast,
And Doughnut is the hunor'd name —
An honest man unknown to faii/e.
Doughnut surpasses all compeers,
And so they hail him now with cheers.

GANTO III.

More cheers as Dou''hnut takes the stand,
His lieutenants on i^itlier liand ;
, His cJieeks display a rosy flush,
But politicians never blush !

" My friends," he said, " I thank you all,
And since your choice on me did fall,
Though 1 tetter men are here in sight,
I'll do my best to win the H<^'ht.
The combat will no doubt be warm —
Our watchword still must be ' Reform !'

' For i^a'i-at abuses still aV)ound,
And rank corrup|,ion stalks around ;
Fat pickinf^s have the Tory crew,
'Tis time^we liad our innini^^s too.
Our foes are viirilant and wise.
And have more plentiful supplies.
You know how much success depends
Upon the counting in, my fiiends !
But pray be prudent, if you please,
And do not let the whisk(.'y fieeze ;
Such blunders may for Tories do.
But I hope better tilings of you."
Three cheers, and then a tiger more !
Adieu ! adieu ! and an revoir.

And now for an exciting race !
Simplex and Doughnut face to face,
Each with his partizans around.
Each resolute to hold his ground,
Each keen in search of (h/ubtfid votes,
Or catering to thirsty throats.
For now the ball is rolling fast,
The writs have come to hand at last :
It is the Politicians' hour,
Now gird ye with your subtlest power,
Armed with a voter's list, prepare
Your rivalb, one and all to dare.

■1
> I

THE POLITICIAN.

In country place or county town,
Your business is to talk him down ;
Ho will advance what is not true,
And so undoubtedly will you.
Your party friends he will defame,
And you can do to his the same.
Wlion char<,'es cannot be denied,
He sure and blame the otlier side.
In these line arts you need not fail.
Just imitate the Globe and MdiL
l)ut do not hope a vote to change.
Nor think your failure odd or strange.
Your friends will Aery likely cheer ;
The others will as surely sneer.
Both have already taken sides,
An evcT-widening lino divides ;
This is a gladiatorial show,
It is to see the fight they go ;
Don't fancy 'tis to hear you speak.
Or that it is the truth they seek.

The party organs once so dull,

With spicy garbage now are full.

No charges are so foul and base,

l>ut here they find a welcome place,

If tliey but serve to blast a name,

Or liold a rival up to sliauie.

In labor'd columns they dilate

Upon the ruin of the state,

For which, of course, they loudly claim,

Their guilty rivals are to blame, f

Each learns its malice to refine.

And damns its foes in every line.

Now Simplex had been " through the mill,'*
And on hini they had wreaked their fill.

CANTO HI.

This tinn' his leelin«^s more ohtUHO

Made him regardless of ahnse,

And he pursue<l his clieckered way,

Heedless of what detractors say.

But Doughnut, of retiring mien,

Felt these assaults with anguish keen,

And would have shunned the uiuddy shower,

If suiHi hail bei^n within his power.
"Who could hav(^ fancied T' Doughinit cried,
" That 1 should thus liave been l)elied ;

My best intentions ma<ie a scorn,

While innocent as babe unborn

Alas ! why did I e'er consent

To seek a seat in Parliament ? "

Yet there were consolations too,

From many friends, both old and new.

Warm graspiugs of the hai.ul, and cheers

Which fell like music on his ears.

Now cries for Simplex rend the air,
And cheers for Doughnut echo there.
Election posters deck the walls,
And voters nightly crowd the halls
Where politicians, young and old,
Their party principhvs unfold.
Still higher the excitement grows,
And now and then some hasty blows.
Reported to be party fights,
Alarm the citizens at nights.

■,< 1

Two hostile camps are now arranged, .
And bets are freelv interchanrred.
Much brag and bluster rule the hour —
Each party claiming " the right bower,"
Or " ace," or " trump," or what's the name,
W^hich always guarantees the game.

■; ii

THE POLITICIAN.

Va\.v}\ lia<l its •* knaves," l»(;3on«l a iloubt,
The troiiV»lc was to iind tlieiu out.
Each practised various arts to win,
Heedless alike of shjune and sin.
Whore conscience was not over-nice,
The oidy i|ue«tion wjvs, the pnco,
Paid down in ci'ispy notes, or ,;.:old,
For votes in open market sold.

Sometimes, for fear it be found out,
The purchase was more roundabout ;
The voter sold a goose or duck,
Ami then and there tho money took,
The purchaser to call some day
And take liis property away
Winch both contracting parties knew
He really never meant to do.

?.'

A common practice, it would seem,
Was to engage the voter's team,
F(^r use, on service as required.
But such a team must not be hired.
Yet while they with the law comply
The pay comes later, on the sly.

Yet men who brib^ must not be rash,
Nor need they always pay in cash;
Fair promises are often made,
And form a copious stock-in-trade.
At least till the election's o'er.
And then are seldom thought of more.

This market varies very much,
There are some voters hard to " touch."
Others have so run down in price,
A glass of whiskey will suthce.

CANTO HI.

Tho ileal* :r wlu) (Icsiies to l)uy
Should know his man iM't'oiv he try ;
Wlu'icin his character is weak
What potty honor h« may sock,
How far he's willing' to })roniote
His own chief interest l)y his vote.
How hest his present wliim to please,
And win him over })v ♦Ic'jreos.
It is a complex ta.sk to till,
And needs a special tact and skill.
Thu an adept who hribed in ^n'<»ups,
Was said to " niesmeri/e " liischipes.
Some play tho " missionary " riUe —
SeekinL,' the body, not the soul.
Aiid though the business is aceursM,
Lartje sinns are often thus disbur.s'd.
Ah Simplex ! now your shekels span;,
And, Doughnut, of your cash beware !
The courts this maxim oft <lisclose,
Too zealous fiiends are worse than foes.

Now as more doubtful grows the day.
Still other forces come in plav,
And l_ea<lers with each other vie,
In raising a religions cry.
Fostered l;)y some invention bokl,
And with an air of mystery told, —
A plot ! a scheme ! a trap concealed !
A wily Jesuit in the Held !
From mouth to mouth the slanders pass,
How Simplex has been seen at mass.
How Doughnut rides the Orange goat,
1^0 catch the corresponding vote.
Some startling fib, on either side
Uttered too late to be denied.

) ?

- ;

THE POLITICIAN.

No matter how absurd the stuff,
'Twill take, if only had enough.
For prejudice hath woiid'rous power
And pa.ssion doinir^ates the hour.

'^'OC

©itnto ixr,

fllK 'lay of fate is near at Jiand,
The conflict rages o'er the land ;
Coniniittees, late into the night,
Hold council how to win the fight ;
And count the voters o'er and o'er,' .
Less certain than they were before;
Sunniiou fresh speakers to their aid,
And chuckle most when most afraid.

At length the day of fate has come,
And loud declaimers now are dumb,
The time for talk is fairly past,
The time for work has come at last
Aye " work/' which means to run about,
And drag the tardy voters out.
Forestall your rival in the race,
And vote your man befoi-e his face.
To promptly seize on the main chance,
And promise all things in advance;
To treat the voters on the slv,
And always havfi a full supply,
Concealed, of course, from prying eye.
To shout at intervals, "hunah :"
This means to work on polling day.

Ah yes ! you played a clever game,
Yet here is Mister What's-his-name,
Who had with you a charming ride,'
Yet voted on the other side.

THE POLITWIAX.

'■A

He says you counted on bim sure,
And brouglit him from his very door.
And, bless nie ! how those fellows cheat !
The six to wliom you gave a ti'eat,
They shouted right, and took their pay,
And voted each the other way ;
And now are laui^hinc: in their sleeve —
How those (blank) rascals do deceive !
And there's old Jones, who died last year,
This afternoon hfis voted here !
At least 'twas done in Jones' name.
The ballot was the very same ;
The fellow for a weak disguise,
Had placed a bandage o'er his eyes ;
The Deputy had turned his head,
Perha[)s forgot that Jones was dead.
Both agents hoped the vote to win, ,
And so they got the ballot in. ^
"Smart trick," you say, *'and risky too ; "
" What won't election atjents do ! "

But the day languishes at last,
• Its final moments tleeting last.
Few round the polling place remain,
Voters have come and gone again,
When, suddenly a rmging cheer
Announces new arrivals near.
" Six votes for Simplex ! " some one cries,
And winks a signal with his eyes ;
They rush into the polling room, —
Simplex is having quite " a boom."
Here Doughnut's agent makes a show
Of challenging, but lets them go.
Bad votes, but all for Doughnut cast,
Though talking " Simplex " to the 'ast !

,.' ' -

CANTO IV.

At length the task has been achieved,
• The tired officials are reb'eved ;
O'er all the country far and wide,
The die is cast, and must abide ;
The balh)t boxes liold the fate
Of many an anxious candidate.

Not yet can the result be known,
Until some tardy houi's have tlown.
Meanwhile excited voters meet
In noisy grou]is upon tlie street,
Telling the day's experience o'er,
And guessing wliat is yet in store.
" What news ! what news ! Js Simplex in
" Doughnut, they say, is sure to win !
Bet two to one, we've won the day,
Let's have a drink, — hurrah, hurrah ! "
Such are the phrases you may liear,'
Drowned in the crow^d's excited cheer.

Now the committee rooms o'erflow,
Excited faces come and go ;
Around a table there they stand,
A surging crowd on every hand,
Eager, impatient, talking loud,
Half hidden in a smoky cloud.
At intervals reports come in ;
A moment's ([uiet in the din,
Then bursts another ponderous cheer,
Caught up and eclioed far and near, —
More news ! sent in from hand to hand-
So close the men together stand —
On to the central tlguros passed,
And there received aad read at last.

" Ah ! we haye lost in Piney Ridge,
But hold our own in Spence's Brid^re • "

THE POLITICIAN.

And then a murmur passes round,
" Our side, I fear, is losing ground,"
Till reaching a half maudlin ear,
Re-echoes in a husky cheer, —
" Well done ! hurrah ! who likes to bet,
Here's five to one, we'll have 'em yet !
The challenge falls on heedless ears.
So balanced are the hopes and fears.

( "

An hoar or two of waiting, then
More groups, and more excited men,
More, cheering, and a tavern brawl —
(What fools men are to drink at all !)

Ill
%

M'
1 1

i!M

Now the reports are coming fast,
The figures seem complete at last, —
'Tis a close shave/' you hear them say.
Not much to boast of either way."
Simplex seems in Vjeyond a doubt,
Hark ! how the friends of Simplex shout
He's in ! he's in 1 hurrah ! hurrah !
Simplex, our man has won the day !
But the majority is small,
Stay ! Is it Simplex after all ? " '

" What's that ? " A cheer from Doughnut's men,
"^ Simplex behind by eight or ten ? "
"Impossible ! it can't be true,

Have they not played a trick on you ? "
" Here are the final figures, say,

Who is the winner of the day ?"

" Doughnut has won ! " is heard aloud,
" Hurrah for Douorhnut !" shrieks the crowd ;
Doughnut is safe, the fact is clear,
And now there follows cheer on cheer.

CANTO IV.

Ere long the bonfire's lurid glare
Lights up the leading thoroughfare ;
The small boy dances in the light,
The drunken rowdy seeks a fight,'
The crowd still surge around tlie fire,
And pile the dry material higher;
While Simplex niea have slunk away,
To bide their time another day.

Now a long line of torches flare,
And music floats upon the air;
More volleys then of deaf'ning cheers.
And Doughnut on the scene appears ; '
Applauds his friends for what they'Ve done,
And glories in the vie fry won.
Doughnut is now a man of power,
The idol of the present hour.
Winning by half a dozen votes,
Hailed by a thousand husky throats,

Carried in triumph through the crowd.
Doughnut indeed may well be proud. '

i; '

ii i!

ii;

2 ITCCESS achieved and victory won,
jj^ Alas ! may .sometimes be undone :
Fate has reverses oft in store,
And frowns wliere she had smiled before.
Not long she smiled on Doughnut's cause,
For, thanks to our election laws,
The counting may be done again.
Simplex got a recount, and then,
Oh ! potent power of mimbers few !
Simplex has won by only two !

The number small, the victory great ;
The friends of Simplex are elate.
" Simplex is in ! hurrah I " the}'' cry,
Again the bonfues blaze on high ;
Again excited faces show
How warm the tires of passion glow.
Dounfhnut to.hades is consijxned,
Simplex is banqueted and wined.

A great asseml)lage fills the scjuare,
A'^.d loud rejoicuigs rend the air;

■- 'he hour of Simplex men,
j> . idctory is (nowned again !

Then comes a lull, — to careless ears,
And quiet reigns, or so a})}iears ;
Yet soon the stagnant air is stirred,
'Tis whispered by " a little bird,"

CANTO V.

That something wroni^ has come to Ik'ht
And there will be a legal tight.
Perha|)s aiiotlier great surprise,
So Duughnut stock begins to rise!

The charges are of course denied,
And legal trial must decide;
-Proceedings then at once bt^nn,
Botli parties confidant to win. '

And now for many weary days
The law's proverbial delays
Dragg'd slowly on, until at last,
A year was veiy nearly past,—
A year of torturing suspense,
Of seeking out new evidence,
Of secret visits here and there,
Of rumours Hying in the air, ' -
Of lessened business, broken ease.
And cash disbursed in heavy fees.

But "' all things come to him who waits,"
And so, the slow avenging fates,
The crucial hour have bade appear
And now the crucial hour is here ! '

Who does iiot feel a sense of awe

For the dread majesty of law !

Embodied here in .statelv grace, '

As well becomes a solenm place

Where Justice takes hei' God-like stand

And holds the scales with even hand '

His Lordship, as so well belits.

High in the seat of honoi- sits.'

In front a})pear the men of law

Well skill'd to find, or make, a liaw

THE rOLITlCIAN.

The sheriff fills his special chair,
And clerk and tip-staffs all are there.
The public, too, of course^ have place,
And the contestants face to face.

Some legal skill wias now displayed,
Sundry objections duly made,
Quibbles, perhaps, or le^^l dust.
But all with seeming care discuss'd.
Why not, if it the clients })lease,
And help to earn the Counsel's fees ?

At length the case is well in hand,
Each witness takes in turn tho stand,
Kisses the book with careless ease,
And tells his story by degrees.
Hiding, so far as he can hide.
What's damaging to his own side.
Is cross-examined o'er and o'er,
And then admits a little more :
Until the truth is dragged to light
By legal skill and wordy fight.
Evasion goes the length it dare,
And perjury is in the air !
" Demoralizing," you may say,
Yet 'tis, I fear, the common way.

Succeeding days new facts disclose.
And higher the excitement grows
While eager crowds expectant stand,
And fill the court on every hand.

At last the case is fairly tried,
The final quibble set aside ;
The Judge is virtuously severe.
And finds corruption proven here.

t :

CANTO r.

Plain bribery in weak (lisnruise,
And Simplex furnished the supplies;
In various ways lie purchasd votes,

T,ftnr?irscr fhr rr.s^A :rr..l taklnfT Holes ;

A^WA A^U.11 &£

U1A\^ lw(l#Oil «.4ilt1j.

Buying through agents, various stuff,
Until the rascals cried enough !
Ah, Simplex ! better lose the day
Than thus to " give yourself away."

Worse than a casual defeat,
Simplex not only yields the seat,
But bears htineeforth a lasting stain,
Disqualified to stand again
Till years are past and penance done.
Alas ! for victory so won !

Now here I end my rhyming task,
"But what of Douorhnut ? " you mav ask.
Of Doughnuts party, this is true,
They djtl what other parties do ;
There is no safety in a name.
And men are everywhere the same.
They boast, and bribe, and boldly sin,
To put their standard-be.'irer in.
Of both alike, 'tis safe to doubt.
But only one was here found out,
And we must hope that now and then
The candidates arc honest men.

TTIE END.