^ a^ IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 I.I 1 28 ill 2.5 ■ IIU 12.2 12.0 1.8 1.25 1.4 1.6 .4 6" — ► '/), m 'crw '€■: ^>, "^^ '/ /A Photographic Sciences Corporation ^ ip rtV <^ \ \ <^ o V 6^ ^^ "^S^ 'ij.^ 23 WEST MAIN STREFT WEBSTER, NY 1 4580 (716) 872-4503 <^ C/j CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHM/ICMH Collection de microfiches. Canadian Institute for Historical Microreproductions / Institut canadien de microreproductions historiques C Technical and Bibliographic Notes/Notes techniques et bibliographiques The Institute has attempted to obtain the best original copy available for filming. Features of this copy which may be bibiiographically unique, which may alter any of the images in the reproduction, or which may significantly change the usual method of filming, are checked below. D □ D D D D Coloured covers/ Couverture de couleur I I Covers damaged/ Couverture endommagde Covers restored and/or laminated/ Couverture restaur6e et/ou pellicul6e I I Cover title missing/ Le titre de couverture manque Coloured maps/ Cartes g6ographiques en couleur C-.ioured ink (i.e. other than blue or black)/ Encre de couleur (i.e. autre que bleue ou noire) ~j Coloured plates and/or illustrations/ Planches et/ou illustrations en couleur Bound with other material/ Relid avec d'autres documents Tight binding may cause shadows or distortion along interior margin/ La reliure serrde peut causer de I'ombre ou de la distortion le long de la marge intdrieure Blank leaves added during restoration may aopear within the text. Whenever possible, these have been omitted from filming/ II se peut que certaines pages blanches ajoutdes lors dune restauration apparaissent dans le texte, mais, lorsque cela 6tait possible, ces pages n'ont pas 6t6 film6es. Additional comments:/ Commentaires suppldmentaires: L'Institut a microfilm^ le meilleur exemplaire qu'il lui a M possible de se procurer. Les details de cet exemplaire qui sont peut-6tre uniques du point de vue bibliographique, qui peuvent modifier une image reproduite, ou qui peuvent exiger une modification dans la methods normale de filmage sont indiquds ci-dessous. □ Coloured pages/ Pages de couleur □ Pages damaged/ Pages endommagdes v/ D D Pages restored and/or laminated/ Pages restauries et/ou pelliculdes □ Pages discoloured, stained or foxed/ Pages d6color6es, tachet^es ou piqudes I I Pages detached/ Pages d^tachdes Showthrough/ Transparence Quality of prir Quality indgale de I'impression Includes supplementary materis Comprend du materiel supplementaire r~7] Showthrough/ I I Quality of print varies/ I I Includes supplementary material/ Th to Only edition available/ Seule Edition disponible Pages wholly or partially obscured by errata slips, tissues, etc., have been refilmed to ensure the best possible image/ Les pages totalement ou partieliement obscurcies par un feuillet d'errata, une pelure, etc., ont 6x6 filmdes 6 nouveau de fa^on 6 obtenir la meilleure image possible. Th pc of fil Oi be th sic ot fir si( or Th sh Til w» Ml dif en be rig rec mc This item is filmed at the reduction ratio checked below/ Ce document, est filmd au taux de reduction indiqu6 ci-dessous. IPX 14X 18X 22X I I I I I I |7| I I I I 26X 30X 12X 16X 20X 24X 28X 32X The copy filmed here has been reproduced thanks to the generosity of: Lib^-ary of the Public Archives of Canada i/exemplaire filmi fut reproduit grAce A la gAn6rosit6 de: La bibliothdque des Archives publiques du Canada The images appearing here are the best quality possible considering the condition and legibility of the original copy and in keeping with the filming contract specifications. Original copies in printed paper covers are filmed beginning with the front cover and ending on the last page with a printed or Illustrated impres- sion, or the back cover when appropriate. All other original copies are filmed beginning on the first page with a printed or illustrated impres- sion, and ending on the iast page with a printed or illustrated impression. The last recorded frame on each microfiche shall contain the symbol — ^ (meaning "CON- TINUED"), or the symbol y (meaning "END"), whichever applies. Les images suivantes ont M reproduites avec le plus grand soin, compte tenu de la condition et de la nettetA de I'exemplaire fiim«, et en conformity avec les conditions du contrat de filmage. Les exemplaires originaux dont la couverture en papier est imprimis sont fiim6s en commenpant par le premier plat et en terminant soit par la dernlAre page qui comporte une empreinte d'impression ou d'illustration, soit par le second plat, selon le cas. Tous les autres exemplaires originaux sont filmis en commengant par la premiere page qui comporte une empreinte d'impression ou d'illustration et en terminant par la derniAre page qui comporte une telle empreinte. Un des symboles suivants apparattra sur la derniire image de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — ^ signifie "A SUIVRE ', le symbole V signifie "FIN". Maps, plates, charts, etc., may be filmed at different reduction ratios. Those too large to be entirely included in one exposure are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, as many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre fiimis A des taux de reduction diffirents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour dtre reproduit en un seul clich6, ii est fiim6 d partir de Tangle 8up6rieur gauche, de gauche 6 droite, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images nicessaire. Les diagrammes suivants iilustrent la mithode. 1 2 3 6 ^,> THE POLITICIAN. Bl T. AAT. 'JP, •' His cheeks di^iplay a rony flush, Hut politicians never l)lu8h ! '' (Page 17.) ROSE PUBLISHING 1888. CO THE POLITICIAN. nv 'l\ w IJi.^ c]M-]iri dirtplfiy n rosy AukIi I'ut politk'i.-mfs jit'wr Mn«h ! ' (IV-- 17.) "■f* CtX'Otttct ROSE PUBLISHING C 1888. Entered occordinfr to the Act of Parliament of Canada, in the year one thousand eijflit hundred and ciKhty-eijrht, by the Rosk Pen UHHtMO Co., at the department of Agri- culture. >i •>> \ (|trolo0ne. t \^*»3?\ Till wearied with tlie long debate ; Where livals, ariner. - — ;— »■ CANTO I. That was the secret of tlio t they may ; Now scribbling off' a hasty note, Now rising with their friends to vote, n is iff ¥ • - 10 THE POLITICIAN. Cheering whato'er their Leaders say, And with them votini^ yea or nay. Thus in the Comnions wane the liours, Till dissolution ends its powers. I HE session of the House was o'er, In fact, "the House " was now no more ! The Members had received their pay, And taken each his homeward way, Laden with Legislative spoils, The gleanings of their winter's toils : — Blue books, and printed speeches, — dull, And trunks with stationary full, Enough to kindle all the fires, Until the youngest sons are sires ! Thus homeward aped the ex-M.P., Delighted all his friends to see ; ' Knows everybody at a glance, Or, if in doubt, he takes his chance, Salutes them all, and smiles on those He knew before as party foes. " How are you John, and James and Bill ? Come in till we our glasses fill. How are your wives and children all ? Bless me 1 that l)oy has grown so tall 1 Now Tompkins, is that really you 'i " A friendly grasp, and " how d'ye do ? " This he repeats with varying phrase, And always for the liquor [)ays ; Making himself " a hale good bellow," Until his friends at times grow mellow, ^■^1 ^ I 12 THE POLITICIAN. *^ A f^'reat event in (Irawiriir near, Awakenin*^ lioj^e, inspiring fear, Bearing fierce pjtssions in its train, Giving to baser thoughts the rein, When men their nobler instincts smother, And basely buy and sell each other. When the dead show themselves as men, And answer to their names airain ; \\ heii warmest friendship turns to hi^te, And party rancour shakes the state ! All this and more shall soon appear, For an election now is near ! From the great city's glittering dome, To the backwoodsman's humble home, A something seems to fill the air, — Vague expectation eveiy where. '* Who's coming out, who's going to run ? " Are questions asked b\ e\Qvy one. , The local leaders still are mum. The would-V>e candidates are dumb ; But nod and smirk enough to show, If press'd, they might consent, you know. " Will Simplex run ? " — our ex M. P., Ask him, and you perchance shall see, Simplex replies, — " It all depends, On the good wishes of my friends I'm in thei' hands, to stand or fall." Meantime he canvasses them all. I m The Party monster never sleeps, But day and niglit its vigil keeps ; Excited now, it paws tlie ground, And rampant, glances wildly round ; Erect*} its mane and snilfs the air, As scenting plunder here and there ; CANTO II. n Moves its huge tail, and far away, iiriugs otixcr inovoments into [nay ; .. Gathers its friends from far and near, As Delegates, who now appear. Their task to learn the party's choice, And give tlie ])arty thouglit a voice, — To be the arbiters of fate, And choose a party candidate. Behold them in the ])ublic hall, With dusty floor and dingy wall, Its benches comfortless and bare, Wlule smoky columns till the air. Arranged in groups, a motley crowd, Whose conversation waxes loud; Making o perfect Babel there. Till calTd to order by the chair. Now there are Smith, and Jones and Brown, Men of repute, if not renown, Besides the late, esteemed M. P., And others there perchance may be, Who all have fairly grounded hopes. And who know how to '* pull the ropes ; " Of whom but oidy one can be The party's chosen nominee. And yet the friends of all must choose, The man to win, the man to lose. First, the ex-Member has the floor, Andlightsliis former battles o'er; Recounts the laws he helped to make ; And the great interests now at stake; Tells how he shared the long debate, .'.\ And voted with the party straight. Not anxious now the post to fill, But zealous for the party still — i H 14 TUE POLITICIAN. ^ He's in thnir liands, and will abide By what the delegates decide. Then followed Smith and Brown and Jones, Each in his very Mandost tones ; ReferriniT^ much to public aims, And hinting at their party claims : Brown was i)articularly clever, And seemed to tliink it " now or never." At lengtli after mature debate, And as the hour was j^rowinjL]^ late, The weaker carididates withdrew, Until there now were only two. Simplex and Brown the hall divide, The delegates take either side ; Simplex the favoiite appears. And now is hailed with rousing cheers. Simplex, 'twas plainly to be seen, The fav'rite all along had been ; Had he not laurels won before. Why not achieve a victory more ? " Hurrah for Simplex ! " — one and all, " Simplex ! " a hundred voices call ! Then Simplex made another speech, Shook hands with all within his reach Thanked them profusely o'er and o'er, ** Would win, as he had won before. But they must cordially unite. And join their forces in the fight. 'Twas true," he said, '* our factious foes Are dealing us some heavy blows, But their pretences are * too thin/ And if united, we shall win ; \. \ CANTO 11. Our policy is large and w ide, And claims support on every side. Always associate in your mind, Party with country intertwined ; Our |)j.irty, I of course would say, But more of this another day. Here let me add a word or tw .^, Don't be found out, whate'er you do. Where needed there shall be supplies, But get our friends to organize ; And one and all, employ your wits To crusli these pertinacious Grits." [Great Cheering.'] Then followed speeches of less note, ' And platitudes I need not quote, ' ; All ending with a " hip hurrah ! " Which closed the business of the day. 15 'i i .! QIauta iit. f ^OTH parties at conventions play; ^ And so upon an early day, Reformers <,'atlier in the hall, Responsive to the party call ; On party themes deliberate, And choose a party candidate. Yet after all " what's in a name ? At V)Ottom they are much the same. Our ToricK have no bhiei- blood, Our Radicals conserve tlie good, Both, minor rivalries can smother, To save the country from each other ! If you reverse a tiling or two, The rest for both alike will do : Some speeches which do not enthuse, And stale events, which pass for news. tY list of nominations, framed, To compliment the persons named; A doubtful honor soon resigned, And only given to be decHned, — Tactics 1)y Tories still pi'eserv'd, And e'en by Liberals conserved ; Now duly honor'd, till at last, The votes for candidates are cast, And Doughnut is the hunor'd name — An honest man unknown to faii/e. Doughnut surpasses all compeers, And so they hail him now with cheers. X GANTO III. It More cheers as Dou''hnut takes the stand, His lieutenants on i^itlier liand ; , His cJieeks display a rosy flush, But politicians never blush ! " My friends," he said, " I thank you all, And since your choice on me did fall, Though 1 tetter men are here in sight, I'll do my best to win the H<^'ht. The combat will no doubt be warm — Our watchword still must be ' Reform !' ' For i^a'i-at abuses still aV)ound, And rank corrup|,ion stalks around ; Fat pickinf^s have the Tory crew, 'Tis time^we liad our innini^^s too. Our foes are viirilant and wise. And have more plentiful supplies. You know how much success depends Upon the counting in, my fiiends ! But pray be prudent, if you please, And do not let the whisk(.'y fieeze ; Such blunders may for Tories do. But I hope better tilings of you." Three cheers, and then a tiger more ! Adieu ! adieu ! and an revoir. And now for an exciting race ! Simplex and Doughnut face to face, Each with his partizans around. Each resolute to hold his ground, Each keen in search of (h/ubtfid votes, Or catering to thirsty throats. For now the ball is rolling fast, The writs have come to hand at last : It is the Politicians' hour, Now gird ye with your subtlest power, Armed with a voter's list, prepare Your rivalb, one and all to dare. ■1 > I 18 THE POLITICIAN. In country place or county town, Your business is to talk him down ; Ho will advance what is not true, And so undoubtedly will you. Your party friends he will defame, And you can do to his the same. Wlion char<,'es cannot be denied, He sure and blame the otlier side. In these line arts you need not fail. Just imitate the Globe and MdiL l)ut do not hope a vote to change. Nor think your failure odd or strange. Your friends will Aery likely cheer ; The others will as surely sneer. Both have already taken sides, An evcT-widening lino divides ; This is a gladiatorial show, It is to see the fight they go ; Don't fancy 'tis to hear you speak. Or that it is the truth they seek. The party organs once so dull, With spicy garbage now are full. No charges are so foul and base, l>ut here they find a welcome place, If tliey but serve to blast a name, Or liold a rival up to sliauie. In labor'd columns they dilate Upon the ruin of the state, For which, of course, they loudly claim, Their guilty rivals are to blame, f Each learns its malice to refine. And damns its foes in every line. Now Simplex had been " through the mill,'* And on hini they had wreaked their fill. CANTO HI. 19 This tinn' his leelin«^s more ohtUHO Made him regardless of ahnse, And he pursue