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H f»'i!'!i.-i.. : 11. -u lajok to iDtrodace It to I the r«ider» by a pr> ii introduction, or both ; In the pre- sent iaitance the Author originally intended that Ua should bo accompanied by ftn elaborate introduction, but upon a review of it3 contents he has come to the conclusion that thoy are I scarcely deserving of 2vei; half a page of plain, honest prosf, rriien, it may be asked, why he should have thought of subniit- Iting to the criticism and opinions of others, what he himself has Iso mean an opinion of? Trulv, this would be a rather difficult Iquestion to answer, at least in a satisfactory manner, and the leasiest solution of the enigima ho could think of would be, Ithat he was instigated to the attempt principally through vanity: Ifrom an ambition of being thought an author, and a desire of I seeing himself in " print." But it must not be inferred from this [that he is given to " building castles in the air," or that he has Iformed extravagant expectations as to the success of the ex- Iperiment. Not at all ; if as many copies of his book are sold las will defray the expenses of the undertaking, he will think lit "first rate," and he will be still better pleased if, sub- Iscribcrs upon getting their copies do not regret being "minus" [the'requisite/* modicum of mammon." He has not written for praise, profit,or popularity, — but if, contrary to his expectations, liis writings should be received with any degree of public favour, he would likely— at no very distant peroid— publish, Lr " cause to be published," another and larger volume, the worst piece in which will be equal to the best piece in this. If any of the reviewers or critics should think this littla aook not unworthy of notice, and condescend to give an opin- ion as to its comparative merits or defects, the Author will 1 li I taki it as h special favour. Authors ara in general pnitiall to their own {troductions, blind to their own faults ; and therei is kicarceljr anytliing wliich nmy so much bea<;nt them ns i| just and impartial criticism of their writing.*, or it helps to| ebow thcra uhnt defects to avoid and what beauties to imi- tate. The Author of this volume does not aspire to tb(| character of a puet,butbe does lay claim to that of a rhymer a character which he conceives the mo5t ill natured critici would not feel disposed to denv him. When the circumstauceg under which his book was writtei,.! his limited education, and almost total deprivation of heaiiagl from childhood, are taken into consideration, he feels as.7ureil| the sourest and severest critic would not " feel disposed" tol treat him with apy undue degree of harshness ; but he wouljl not on this account ask exception from censure, or that it! should excuse hia defects or palliate bis imperfections. If| anything is said, let it be the truth, however unpalatable, and be will endeavour to profit by it. The Author would not neglect this opportunity of acknow- ledging Doctor Rolph's kiudaess and condescension inj permitting the dedication of this volume to himseif. In re- ruesting perraissicn, the Author was principally influenced by) gratitude and esteem : gratitude for professional ser'iceji rftceived, esteem for his character as an individual ; thotigh the! Author must be so caudid as to admit thai be was alsol influenced by another though less honourable motive— selfish-l ness. He was desirous that bis book should come before thel public under the sanction of so distinguished a name. Pre-I eminently distinguished as the the Hon. and learned Doctor| is, the dedication cannot add.the snuiHest iota to his accumu- lated honors — but if it cannot add to, it at least caunotl detract from them. Long may the Doctor's voice be heard inl the Legislative Halls of his adopted land; he richly deserves! the thanks of every true-hcart-id Upper Canadian, even if fori nothing else but his steady opposition to a dotiiineeringl 7 . Lower Canadian Frtnch influence in :lieGov«rtmciitCottnciK«, rhkh »moog other iirtsniciuus nn«i arbitary mca nrci Iwt fvicd, aail Btill iceks to lery, henry conlribntiona on the lo< kcts of the indnstiiou* Upper CanniVian I'rotcBtant farmer*, -to snpport and endow Lower Canadian Iloman Catholic 'licstj and Nuns— than whom a more truly worthlew and ricked race of he and i»he miscicante does not ex'st on the lace of the globe. The Author takes honour to himself, that Jiii ancestors were among tlie leaders of the glovious and gal- fant men who gave the deluded and degraded slnves and fol- lowers of their predecessors nuch a signal and bloody beating ^t tie battle of the Boync. In conclusion, the Author returns his best thanks to those Icind friends and others, who have seen fit to patronise him by Lcoraing subscribers. Among those who have thus coun- tenanced the undertaking, he has the honour of numbering [h'^ wealthiest and moat respectable individuals in the Tov/n- |hip : truly he feels much obliged to ihem. If it should erer be bis fortune to '« attain to anything creditable," they will [lavc the satisfaction of iellecting that they were hii patrons Ifrom the beginning. .'\-. EuiotT. ;n 3rd Concession York, ) May 7th, 1836./ *i 1 ■,iiJL CANADA. Fair Canada, my iiativo land, flow my spirits thrill to think of thee; Long may thy sons — a noble band — Enjoy the blessings of the free — For their watchword Liberty. Undaunted, brave, and bold, * First in the ranks of freedom stand ; Their honour pure, unswayed by gold, True to themselves and their native land, A loyal and a patriot band : Ready to battle for their rights, Their religion, and their laws; AYith the sword that a tyrant frights, The sword a patriot draws, When fighting in his country's cause. On thee, my native land, on thee May a glorious future dawn ! Which e'en now minds prophetic see The mists of coming time withdrawn, The future with the now as one. And long may prosperity attend Thy onward march sublime; To every glorious thing a friend, Mayst thou lengthen out thy pirae, Engrave thy name on the golden roll of Time. h 10 ¥ IIP WHEN A POET WRITES FOR MONEY When a poel writes for money, His verses are but tame; If lie writes because he's funny, I am sure he's not to bhvme: But when Cupid, soft, invita bim To wa'^ '.- forth a sonnr, ^ And the j »osition kind dehghts him, ' How the stanzas roll along. Blind Cupid, cruel d 1, Although you are at times — 1 for one will count you civil, * When you inspire the poet's rhymei. Without thy aid, how timid His backward muse would be; How dull, and dead, and diraraed, His soul of poesy. With thy bright lamp to light bim On his way to Helican, • No obstacles alYright him, , But he boldly hasteth on; And luxuriate to satiety, In thy song-inspiring spring; And from thence a gracious gratuity Of glorious numbers brings. Numbers that softly thnlleth The heart of maiden and of youth ; Add their sanguine bosoms fiUeth With dreams of love, and hope, and truth. ^ U ' \J 11 LINES ACCOMPANYING A GIFT TO A FE- MALE FllIEND. As n small token of 2:oocl will, This little jrift I send ; Accept it — I know you will ^ Accept it from a friend : And with it his best wishes tak<% For your future weal in life; With the hope, that you may make A mod«l Mother, Neighbour, Wife. And as life you journey through, May fortune smooth your path ahead; Grief, pain, and care your steps eschew, And all be roses where jou tread. And when, at last, life's journey's o'er, And you have come to die; May your ransom'd spirit soar To a better land on higb. SONG. Sweet maid of my he%rt, bow my sou! once delighted To muse upon thee, in the still hours of night; But now, oh ! how ay regard to my add tophus, Or extend to me the love that blesses The poorest peasant in his sheih'ng, The mac;ic power of love revealing, All his fiercer passions quelling, Making an Eden of his dwelling; For sure to love alone 'tis given To yield on earth some tastes of heaven. SONG. Fye, fye, for shame, You were to blame For being so rude unto the laasen; It was not right . To act last night Like a man ** in bis cups" (or rather glasses). Thus to behave, Uncivil knave, Will snrely make the girls bate jou; And if they do, Who^il caro for you, Or how they speak of or ill ♦* irate** yon. ^ No one on earth. Though of royal birth, CouU live beneath their detestation ; And its not right That any slight Their good opiniBn — approbation. Each man alive, Should ever striv« To gain tlieir love and good opinion— For aye, act so That lie may go Uncensurod through life's short domioion. A VALENTINE. Nor « darling;* "dear," nor " honeyed love " « Gang to the deil," or the sky above. 1 do not care a sous for thee, And would not give a louse for tLe«: i^or 1 hold you even as cheap As the filthy things that creep Through your frowsy head at niffhf And oftentmes—O nasty sight-- ' Are seen upon you face or clothes^ Or sometimes perching on your nose— L non that part of your '• turnip snout »» VV here its downward line shoots straighter onf Atiording a convenient seat, * But yet not a safe retreat; For often glancing in the glassy (Poor, trifling, vain, conceited lass.) 1 cu spy the little fellow there, A thing too common for a stare; Straight yoa seize him, take his life. And make a widow of his wife. ALREADY EXOAGED. Already engaged unto a young man, Thus spoke a tair maid, whom once I did scan ^ i M 1 !f 18 With the eye of one, wlio lier lover would he, K^ow ft reluctant farewell brirrht inailen to thee. My bright visions o'er throwu My dreams all unbiest, And hope itself tlDwn As a bird from the nest. Yet hope may return, her lamp trim anew, Bright visions ajs^ain of love and of you, May come to illume my jjjlooni shrouded mind. And, oh ! could I dream that you would be kind, My visions would he As a ijarden of flowers, Or a tall spreading tree In Eden, like bowers. The phantom call'd care I'd give to the winds, Leave groveling thoughts to groveling minds; And soar to the clime of love and of light, With pearls of song and beauty ali bright. . LINES ON A PUP OF THE AUTHOR, Jiun over by a Train on. the 0, S, and II, JR. B; August 19M, 1955. Thou wilt not, sure, my muso, An humble theme disdain, Nor to a little pup refusw An elegiac strain. • I A g'^od and worthy pup was he, And proToised, very fair, A large and noble dog to be, Of strength and ctnjrngo rare. I I VJ But cruel «lestlny, alasj Decreed a ditieivnt fnle; That he in piipj.yhood slioulj pass Through Pluu/s iron gale. Before an •^crifrine" did iie urge The unequal race alonnr Or else I had been spared tliis dirge. And melancholy soof/. For vain was all his speed and strength, His utmost etYoriH vain; The engine reacii'd its prey at Ionr*tb, And ttever'd hiin in twain. A, ZANY STANZAS. Qitoth, red Fiair'd Lizzy, Such a fool is ho, It makes mo dizzy To think about him. His rhymes on Fanuy, Jiy far too many, Proves him a z iny; 1 &coru, I scout him. Had a sense of duty In his mind a roof, he, My sister beauty Would hardly plague so. His rhyming bleather Jumbled together Like hard shoe-leather. Hurts Mies so. } il 20 RED II£ ADS. 1 To a red headed lout I devote this slioit so.i^, Tho' the thought I would scout ^yf doing him wrong. Yet as ho asked me to niuke A fiong upon him, I e'en for his sake Will yield to his whim. Then attond me eacli boy Of the red-h'^aded clan ; I would also wish joy To each red-headed innn. But ahead with my song I'll try to proceed; Which (if its not long) You'll please me to read. On the tablet of mind My hero I etch, Tho' only inclin'd His person to sketch. Of the line of liis hair I've hinted before, So about it forbear To say a bit more. And now for his eyes And also his nose; 21 « (That go -^ ?i ii 2& In smiles and tears She oft ftppearft, Then wears a frowniog face. While lighi'ning;s flash, And thunders crash To roar awhile her grace. The flowers around Her path abound, And in her train ap|>ear, The little birds Id Hweut toned words, Proclaim that she is ne&r. "i I l\ Foreverraore, They fly before Her earliest harbingerB, And bush and tree • Resound with glee. As this bright nymph appears. The foals and lambs ' Around their dames Their graceful antics play ; Alive and brisk With joy they frisk To meet the queen of May. LIFE What is l-'e But a dream, But Ji strife On a stream; a l; z< Thnt ever goc« hi I' C.- ».• *G;iinst the wind, But rarely floura To our mind. As it« bubbles brief Riwor break, Mark joy or grief, The iceptre take. .*Tis passion nil§8 The parsing hour. And makes poor foola To own her power. Then our thoughts be turned To brigbter clime, Where ne'er is raourn*d The msLToh of time. ^ i u ! LINES ON THE DEATH OF M. C- Poor woman at last Away, away, she has gone; Life's voyage is past, And she now niaketh one, Of the unnumbered host In tlie dark, silent land. Who have yielded to deaih*« boast. And obeyed his command. All men are but grass When before me they stand. ^' 28 I[ jll And o'er them I pas% And they fa-lo from tlio land. The generation all Must yield to my ire^ Before me must fall The 5 on and the sire. The matron most grave, And the maiden of blooai Must sink to the grave, Must sleep in the tomb. A REBUS. A beast by the Arabs of the desert much used, Another that is often maltreated — abused, An implement by seamstresses and tailors employed, The period of life when it least is enjoyed, The thing of which Adam was forni'd at his birth, And the month ;in which Spring revisits the earth; Place their initials right, as in order they stand, And in a trice you will see the name of a land. That justly is rank'd 'raongst the most favored of all, That exist on the face of this terraqueous ball. LAMB VERSUS SHEEP. Tbera was once a maiden gay, And doubtless also fair, And Lamb the geatle name for aye That this bright maid did bear. I \ 2i) It cliaijced that she the fanev took To chano-e her natue and state, And with lijis intent nboijt .iij luok For a good and proper mate. And one sliesoon did find — Soon h3ii)en did attend, And they were indissolubie join'd In union without end. But it app( ars a happy life They tonfether did not lead; But whether the fault wan it. the ^ife^ Or the man I did not read. And after she was married awhila An acquainta:ioe she did meet, " Who eyeing her with a smile, Shtr thus her friend did greet We)l, Sarah, I am glad to Ree That married you have got, Ar d hope your husband may not be * A glambler nor a sot. When thus to her did soon reply* With witty tongue the same; "Yes my fri(;nu, indeed huvel, - I say it to my shau)e." Ami the tliought of what I am Doth almost make we weep; For instead of being a lamb, I have made myself a sheep. 1 i- r. i^ I If 30 SPRING. I'" \m Apain Bmilinj;: sprinw roturnJng Di)tl> warm me iuta vetfo, , With poetic ardour burning, il«r praises to lehearso. AnA tidings of \\er advancinj^ Are brou^x^it by every p^al'*. While tiie fire from her briijht eye glaiscing Doth turn old winter pale. And from Lis weak impotent band 'i'lie i»ceptre soon shall fall: Soon he si tali turn and flee the landj And no more be seen at all. Soon shall spring the frozen river, The ice-bound pond and lake, From his iron gra^p deliver. And 'his fragile fetters break. Soon shall the smiling earth be clad In a robe cf blushing green, Nor tvaceof winter's doing fwid On her blooming face be seen. The flowers they smile — around her path, And at her bidding spring, Not fearing man, dreaanioRs was ho Their languafre innjure and Toul 'gan to bo, When lie left them .straight way/it' the legend tells true, And with people so vile would liave nothing to do, Wiien wondertul ! ns the saint did trudge borne alone lie met a *' beautiful boy " wiio to him was unknown : When exactly as they each other's path would iiave cross'd The '' boy "—he did stop and the "saint" thus accost: (While peichnr.co U: to him be bis liand did exfend,) »* (lod pave you my uear, my very good frie»^.d ;"' For awhile the saint stood in the deepest amaze, While the " beautiful boy " on his features did gaze, At length " who are you?" he pluck'd courage to ask, When the beautiful boy did assign him this task: *< Cast your eyes to my forehead and words you will Fe6 That will tell you my name and high dignity;" To do this small tbing the saint could not refuse. When lo ! he read " Jesus of Nazareth, King c^ iho Jews:** Je^us Christ disappeared immedtately then. And itft our oood saint the most joyful of men. LINES VVKITTEN IN A GRAVE-YARD. The sun is brightly glowing In the distant west; The clouds around him showing A crimson-coloured vest And here atone I'm sitting In reusing medit-tion ; 34 A 8t;ito of min-l Ix'liting My jiresrMit 'iiuaiioii. Mv thoughts have censed to wander And are fixed upon tlie tomb; And I most sagely ponder Cn its silence and its gloom. I tliink of darkness and of rest, And the sluiygish cfulf of both; And wliat is, or what is not, Ti.e state of being after death. To the mysterious spirit land, In musing thought I'm borne away; And now by the dying bed I stand To watch lif j's glimering spark decay. Yet not to view the horrid king In all his terrors avm'd ; But to see him of his sting, By religion's power disarm'd. Death's but the warder of the gate, That ope's to Paradise; Js"o other road ordain'd by fate, That leadeth to the skies. But, ah ! the wicked, how will they The dreaded thing behold ? Whom neither bribes nor prayers can stay, Who careth not for gold. And who alike impartial — all His summons must obey; He fiom lowly cot and city ball Hifl victim bears awav. 35 The patriarch of a centtiry And the infant of an hour, Are his subjects eqjially, Alike must own his power. ANSWER TO A REQUEST, Fair cousin, you've asked rae To write you a song; That thus you have tasked me I wont say is wrong. For I take as a favour That thus you reqaest,' And my "muse" — I will crave htr To endeavour her best. " Your muse — have you got one ?'* (Perhaps you will say.) " Have you borrowed or bought one ? Come tell me 1 pray ?" Nay noMT, my dear cousin, You puzzle me quite, Scarce one in a dozen Would own I am right, Should I buldly affirm I Am possess'd of a i use. Quoth one " I can't bear him, I " An assent will refuse. " Nor list to such nonsense, " For I think it is clear t I 'jf ^ t 36 '* That he has scarce one sense « Who lends half au oar "Ti. is: only Tom foolery " 'x^'.. jinj^ling ass sings, "Who went little to school, or he — »' Might have learnt better things, t BACHELORS PLAINT' I ( I'm pained to tell in rhyme, I'm in want of a bride : For I think it high time, E'er life's ebbing tide. Shall sweep me away, Like a dream, from the stage; Into fading decay, And decrepid old age. To search me around, For some bonny fair maid ; (If such may be found) On whom may be laid Half the weight of my cares, Each prospect and plan ; Which a wife mostly shares With her "lovin oul man.'* Then fortune, oh! smile On thy suppliant— me — Let me for a while Thy favourite be. 37 But first I'll portray The maid to in}* iiiiml ; With whom, if I may, I would happiness find. Then fancy, pray lend, Thy magical power; And my muse please attend At least for an hour. Conjure up to sifjht, Some buxom bright maid ; In a garment of light And of beauty arrayed. Her complexion as fair As the new fallen snow ; Her eyes and her hair, As dark as the sloe. On her features a smile, Ot such exquisite grace; As would a stoic beguile, Of the frown on his face. Not in person more fair, Thau in spirit she's pure : ^n mien, carriage, and air, Staid modest demure. SONG. Of life I'm sick and weary, And I could wish to die ; But would you be my Dearie, How great would be my joy. 38 S Thy love would be a balm for— The various ills of life; And thy gentle word a calm for Its tumult and its strife. My heart would thrill with gladness To the glancing of thine eye; And the spectral shade of sadness. From my gloomy brow should fly. Then chill mo not with coldness, Nor kill me with contempt; From such I have the boldness, To pray to be exempt. WHAT FANNY* IS. r Fanny is old — would be thought young Fanny is bold — loose at the t,ongue, Fanny is proud — Fanny is vain, Fanny is loud — prone to compla»n, Fanny is tall — Fanny is slim, Fanny is all — frigid and prim. *Not our Fanny. A LOVER'S ADIEU. Adieu, adieu, Lov'd Maid, to you I bid thee now a long farew How hard to part •^•> »'»'^ My stricken heart, O'er charged with griyf ah ! let it tell How keen the pain. Of niv bur: innr brain; Revoltuig thoughts of deepest gloom, From pain and care And grim despair, I fain would hidy um in the tomb. « But yet the fate, That would await My spirit in another state; Doth stong deter, And makes me bear The ills of life however great. And time a balm, May bring to calm My wounded bosom's keenest pain; May yield relief From care and grief. And peace of mind return again. A QUKRY.* My good fair cousin Mary Anno, Now tell me truh', if you can Like a poor fellow like me; Such a mean sorry shrub, that he, Is scarcely fit to be a slave, But by good fate he's not a knave, A lying scoundrel, or a ^ -eat, But thus one's praises vo repeat; (!-*;:aS:-lt--? 10 1 I ■ Is ccrtaitily a little wroiij:, And wouiv farewell 0! Wee stinking fellow I'll try to drive thee fa*- ^roin me, , For sense and reason Proclaim it treason That I should have aui^ht to do with thee. SONG. 1 Excuse ray offence My darling, my dearie O, That I acted sans sense Is certain, is cleurie 0. See your suppliant kneeling, And begging so fain; That you banish each feeling*, Of dislake and disdain. Excuse him — forgive him. But this single time; And tho' few may outHve him, it' he commits such a crime. A second time over, May he lie in ihe dust; And feed upon clover, Till his body grows rust. With a witch tnay he ride, At night to the moon; On her broom stick astride. Think a saddle a boon. A S^iji^m^^^ 43 And " tlie man wIlL his sticks," Not welcome him in; J3ijt ff'we him souio kicks, Not " a quartreu of" giu." SONG. One my muso cloth bid me woo thee, And I may not his qskino^ slighl; And so I make request unto thee, That thou would'st a song indite. Sinij the graces of a maiden. Blooming, beautiful, and bright; By nature's lavish hand array'd, iu Beauty, as in a robe of light. Paint her, sketch her, draw her finely, With ail the art that thou hast got; Make her smile and look divinely, Killing hearts just like a shot.' Give her curling locks of hair, Of the tbon hue of night; Let her face be snowy fair, And her eye be starry bright. Let the rose and lilly blend, On her soft and damask cheeks; An opening rose a simile leml. To her lip?, whose silence speaks. Her mein, her form, be grace Itself, So buxom light, and aerial; A most bewitching, killing elf. An e'thereal fay or fairy nil. i 1. 1 44 F U LL OFT B E T 1 M F. S Full oft betimes In writiiisx rlivmes I take a deal af jileasure, 'J'ho' poor the verse That I rehearse So sadly out of measure. But yet if love My pen should move I'd hope 10 write more briskly, My humdrum song Would jingle along More airy light and friskly. As for my muse Who will refuse To own that she can jingle. But only this True worth you'lLralsa That with her verses may not mingle. JINGLETS. Obone — yountr crone, I moan, 1 groan For thee alone, S*-> briirht, 80 tight, so liglit, who'd slight, Not me I'll own. I'd prove, I'd love, my dove above Eacli she I've known ; Appear, draw near, come here my dear And be my o vn, 45 That we, will be liapp^, you'll see, Will scon be bhown. To while— awhile Of tedious time, I write this slight Small piece of ihyme. To you I do Inscribe the same, And hope lo grope My way to fame. For I will try Inspired by thee, To pen, what men Might like to see. Each thought unsought. Shall come with eaaej A tongue well hung, Scarce fails to please. United and plighted To my bonny sweet bride» I'd grasp her and clasp her Lnto my heart side, Carross her, and press her, And kiss her again ; And love '.er forever, " With affection most fain. 1^ 1-9 ii s ■ 46 A LACONIC LOVE LETTER. Getting tired of a single life, 1 fain would get rnvK-lf a wife, To try wlial's iu another state, AndVould you link with mine your fate; ^Become ny'own bright blooming Bride, To cross with me life's surging tide. (Love's sun shall warm its waters cold And Hymen strew its sands with gold,) Your answer will decide my fate, And it in fear I now await; Subscribing myself with love most ♦'ervent, Your most devoted humble servant. I f SONG. why should I be thus bothered by love ? O why should I care for the plague of a thing, Or what wayward fate my mind should thus movel To meddle with what has such a sharp sting. 1 feel but the pain, I taste not the joy Of the passion that holds man 'neath its sway; O for a prescription its power to destroy, Or else its empire did last but a day. Then would I rejoice, ?nd my spirits would ba As light Hs the breath of a mild summer eve, And as bright as the look of the sun on the sea "When a blink of his eye its ripples receive. And sorrow and care to the d— — 1 I'd send, And feel as a man from harsh bondage reprieved] With a calm, steadfast mind to my duties atte*d From the fetters of gloom and of Cupid reUeved. 47 To an individual whom the author inadvertently /flendcd b saying something which she tonstru^d into a hint that he t.iought her older than she wished to be tbou^ui. Sweet Peggy, o*hon0, Blight gentle, yc ng desr, My iirtpudence I moan Most grievously lierc. Almost groan— almost sigb For Avliat I Iiave done, And >\ish *' was no lie To say it « 'twas in fun.** But " forget and forgive ,** Your pardon I crave» Then as long as i live Won't I pray fortune to save Your detectable head From a hated grey hair Bat jet black insteid Giow plentifu! there. Yet should a few co.Tiei, Unwtlcomed, unasked, I may not be dumb, But be it my task To inform j'ou where To get a great cure; In the " dye for the hair" You'll find one I'm sure . Again, should b tooth Give signs of "to ecay, f Vi i-! w 11 m 48 \ I A« (to tell you the truth,) It certainly ma/. To the Dentist quick speed A new one to gel : He'll befriend /ou in need, Even to a whole set. ON AN CLD MAID. She will die an Old Maid, An old maid she willd die sir; She v^ill fly an old maid, Away to the sky, sir. Astradle a broom, Or rather broom stick ; When chill night's perfume Would turn a pig sick. J^ s seen by the moon Or the light of the stars, On her besom the croon The night-wanderer " scares, »♦ As she rideth serene Through the moon-lighted cloud, Like a ghost that is seen WrapL in a thin shroud. And civil Old Nick Behind her is riding, 49 Astrif le on her stick ; — How swift they are ghMing. But here I will leave This strange apparition, Which did existence receive From vagrant imagination. 'Twas fancy alone That painted the "creature"* For sure never was known Such a queer thing m nature. In the brain of some poet '» It first had its birth; Who felt tempted to show it, On« of the wonders of Earth, :|j FANNY AND WILLY Sweet Fanny for William Has a liking— young crone, Sighs she,— « Ah how ill I am When you leave me, my lone. How I would be delighted To spend life with thee: Then your faith— be it plighted To love and to me." But Bill for juer pleading Doth care scarce a pin ; Not caring nor heeding Her affections to win. I i LJcc 1 ^.^i^f:: ■^^', ir f1 Yet, close— peivsevering To love'Q gentle star ; She Las little fearing He would its influence mar. But hopes he will yet yield To its calm and gentle sway, And its influence feel At no distant day, I'm told that the sparking Is all done by herself; But this is Envy's barking— Away with the elf. Is it possible he could Slight such a bright maid ? Or is it possible she would Of a rival be afraid? Ko— away with the noPL^nsc, Away with it all : Would a man with even one sense Entertain it at all. In years she's so tender, Her mind is so strong ; Her waist is so slender And her purse is so long. Then her exquisite beauty How vain would I sketch: But be it my duty To confound the sad wretch Who would scorn to Yeild to her charms; ^Mfil M ^'•^^^ 61 Sure was she not born to Biess a lord's arms. Then do not be chary, Dear William, my friend; Nor loiter nor tarry, But to fortune attend. While she asks you to listen To Love's silver voice, Should not your eyes glistea When she bids you rejoioa In the love of a maiden Of such exquisite charms, Then why be afraid in — Enclasping your arms. Round her soft swelling boeom. Or her delicate waist : Who acteth thus, shows him — Devoid of all taste, Devoid of all feeling, True, gentle, or kiud, To spectators revealing A hai'd granite mind. Then why should you scorn her, Or her affections disown, Since mch graces adorn her As are despised by none. From the Monarch who reignelh O'er a kingdom so vast. To the beggar that plaineth 'Keath a chill wintry blast, • I 52 There's none but find i>lea3Ufe In the solace of love. For Bure 'tis a treasure That from heaven above Was bestowed upon raankind To cheer this dull life; And Burely none can find ^ Aught BO good as a wife. If she's only a real one, Of her worth not a doubt; And I'd beg, borrow or steal one Before doing without HAVE BEEN WARNED ABOUT THE LAW.| I have been warned about the law,. Should I write about Miss Fanny: But really I don't care a straw For such threatening* — all or any. No — I do not care a pin Not a single pin about em; Snch fef.rs would be a sneaking aio, Aud BO I scorn — I scout em. Yet do not think I hate the law, Or that I do despise it; Thera 8 not a man without a flaw But who should highly prize it Yet such a law was never laade, As would check a deaf boy's singing, E'en tho' upn a poor old maid, And withal a Uttie stinging. o3 And tliose wlio talk about the law Do hardly know what they are sayino- In vain they think that all their jaw '^ ' A whit shall stop my muse's playing. They might as well at any time Try to face a locomotive, As seek to curb my muse's chime, Be it satiric or votive. LINES IN MEMORY OP Stern death grim porter of the grave. What can from thy grasping fii)gei-s save I Can riches bribe, or stay thy hand, Power make thee yield to a command ? Can Surgeon's art or Doctor's skill Evade thy dart, make void they will ? Can youthful spirits, youthful bloom Save their possesor from the tomb ; Shall beauty cause you to relent, O turn aside they fell intent ? Can learning, wit, or wisdom save, Their favored owners from the grave? No, all must tread the gloomy road, That leads to Pluto's drear abode ;' The young, the old, the grave the o-ay, Mild and severe must thee obey, ° The wee raw red infant of an hour, Ix just as much beneath thy power, Is just as much subject to Ihee, As the phatriarch of a century. Yet I mourn net the common fate, Since all must irie«.4 it soon or la(e. f I m ] Uk 54 I?ut one alone, the young tlie gay, Who early passed from eartli away. Who while her spring of youth was green, And life to her a joyous scene, Was sunimon'd by the King of Terror, To pay for Eve and Adam's error. How sad to think her virgin bloom. Was only ripening for the tomb ; And that the opening beauties bright, Should beconsianed to shades of night. Her sorrowing friends while o'er her bier, They drop the sad, salt, silent tear ; Felt oe'r their hearts a gathering gloom, Musing upon her early doom. Yet, tho' she slumbers in tlie dust, 'Tis not forever — so we trust, Since Jesus died, lost man to save, A ray of light shines through the grave ; Religiour hope and joys illume The dark recesses of the tomb. Hope's finger pointing to the sky, Tells of a brighter iand on high ; A holier and a happier cHme, Beyond the storms of fate and time. And tliither has her spirit fled. For tho' she's number'd with the dead, She only died that she might live ; For death a crown of life doth give, To all who serve their Lord below ; And when they quit this " vale of woe," Their happy spirits soar above, To a land of light, a home of love. WRIT IN A BOOK THE GIFT OF A FR!ENI)| • If at these line you will look, They will plainly make known; 55 That be who gave this book, Was good Mister McKone. . His name, it is James, Yes, brave Jemmy McKone; One of Erin's own names, As by Mac, this is shown. And my gratitude here, [ fain would express; Not a whit less sincere, Tho' in such a strange dreas. For thy gift I here thank thee^ The favour I own; And 'mong my fiiends would I rank thee. Good Mister McKone. LINES ON A MOTHER'S DEATH— WRITTEN- FOR A YOUNG FEMALE FRIEND. "Hush ! silence all, my Mothers lying On her dying couch ; oh, woe is me, Tho' 'tis my Mother that is dying, Mine is the pain, the agony. Anguish keen my heart-strings thrilling, To see her there so cold and pale, Heart choking sighs my bosom filling, Oh 1 could prayers with fate prevail. Mi'ie would surely save my Mother, From the dreaded dart of death; Or if for one he'd take another. For her I would resign my breath.^ i nC ' ! Cease fair maiden cease tbey grieving. Each wrong improper wish recall ; But firmly trusting and believing, Upon His love who died for all. Cast your eye beyond the limits Of this earth's contracted sphere, Free thy soul from what would dim ita Perceptions keen while grovelling here. And on the wings of thought ascending, With iiitensly rapid flight sublime; Faith, hope, an*d love assistance lending, Thou shalt view a brighter cUme. , Far bayond the last faint twinkle, Of the glorious, golden sun, Or the farthest stars that spiinke, Old night's sublime empyrean. A land of light of joy and glory, Love's native home is there, The brightest dream of i^ong or story, May not with its realities compare. To that bright and radiant region, Is thy Mother's spirit bound ; Escaping ills, that here, a legion- Do frail humanity surround. Then cease fair maiden, cease thy weeping. Since all is oidei'd for the best ; Thy Mother is not dead, but sleeping Sleeping where no ills molest. Try to join her ransomed spirit. In that far oft' golden land ; 'Ja^t 57 Eternal glories to inherit, At they ^Saviour's footatcol «taD(J. AN INVITATION TO ATTEND A -LECTURE ON phrenology;' ^-^-^^^ Haste one and all, Both great and small, For to attend the lecture; Of Mister Brogues, You dirty rogues, And permit him to inspect your— Cranium bumps; Or else your rumps, Will pay for it severely, With many a kick, Or stroke of stick, He'll murder yoj or nearly. Therefore take heed. And duly speed, To hear the learn'd lecturer! But ere you do, I'd caution you, That you don't neglect your hair. Rid it of lice, Then comb it nice, With the skill and taste of a hair-dressirl But use no oil, Least it should soil, The lily hands of the Professor. rr ^^ 08 II -E no ! -e, ho ! -e, go And wash you clattv hands, Sir, Go, haste be quick, They stitik ns f^ick, 'Tis cleanhness comuiauJs, Sir, And 13 it light, That you should slight, The dictates of this duty ! No, it is not, You dirty sot, Altho' you are no beauty. But if you do, You'll suroly rue, The evil consequences ! The gills respecH, Who would neglect, Not one in his right senses. No dirty drone. Was ever Known, To win much favor from good lasses; They think the men, Impure, obscene, Are only fit to herd with assies. And they think right, In the same light, Myself would view the filthy fellows; Would have thein made, Sons of the trade. Of him who blows the blacksmith s bellows. Then liasten John, Use soap upon, '^^V • i}0 Your unclean and filthy fingere; Walter enough — And rubber rouirh, Will sure remove the dirt that llnc'en' Upon each palm, Or else 1 am Extremely wrong in my conjectures; This rhyme is spun, Tiiis duty done, So 1 hope you won't neglect yours. THE PENITENT'S PRAYER, Lord I tliink with disdain On the deeds I have done, See with anguish and pain, That the course I have ruo. Doth certainly lead From salvation and Thee, And therefore I plead For thy mercy to me. Then hearken, O Lord, To a poor sinners prayer— And thy mercy accord E're he sinks in despair. To my sorrowing heart Send peace from above, I'or the fountain Thou art Of light and of love. Then attend to my call, Hear my piteous cry, Save, Lord, or I fall . - Ah ! whither shall I BU| W»^ • ' f CO For succor now run, If not unto Thee — Help, Lord, I'm undone llThouuidestnotmc, Be my Saviour and fricnil In each dark trying hour; Let thy Spirit defend From the Evil One's power. Then my voice I will raise To my heavenly king, And forever his praise With gratitude sing. THE GROG SELLER'S SONG. Thrice welcome here, brave gallant lads, How your true friend's heart it glads To see you here, Where good strong beer, Real brandy and prime whiskey Will make the night Pass swift as light, While we grow high and friskey — We'll laugh and drink, W^e'll f— t and st— k, We'll yawn and winic, We'll sing and think We were but born to sing and drink, TL. quickly pass The frothy glass, And pledge each other round, lads — Nothing on earth Like social mirth, May any where be found, lads, Retreating here, ^ i n And meeting here Each dear true-hearted cronjT : You'll think yourselves Most blest of elves. Eat least while you have money, Then a health to king rum I will pledge in this glass— The I) — -T may come But the D — 1 he'll pass. The son and the daughter, The cadet and scabby a— e, May feast upon water Till they show but a shabby a — e , Then here's for good liquors, boys, Pour it down quicker, boys. Sec the bright wine in its ruby tints glowing, Drink, and drive care away, "What can gloomy thoughts scare away. Like rosey red wine, in a bur:iper overflowing. And truely I'm thinking, boys The pleasures of drinking, boys Are the brightest and best this earth can afford, Though some half crazy fools, Bred in cold water schools From the ship of lifes' pleasures would throw o'er board. But we heed not their cry Nor care for their blether, In vain would they try With enactments to tether. The right of a man His palate to please, sir. Let them do what they caa Our rights for to seize, sir. I guess they will find They are " catching a tartar," 62 I Their labour aiul wind For their pains they but barter. If permitted, I ween ^^ e would answer tlie rogues, sir, With arguments keen — With the toe of our brogues, sir. Cry — "down ^ith the Maine- Law Or any insane law, That would in drinking deny a man what he chooses; Such despotic tyranny Would piovoke Old N^ — k's irony. And be who favoui's it but a watery-brain'd gooso is. But true-hearted and brave, To our colours we'll stand ; From such a law we will save Our own noble land. Send to the D — 1 away Each half cra^y fool Who would wish for the sway Of such a tyrannic rule. Then snugly here We'll sit and sneer. And bid the fools defiance; For on oui-selves Despite the elves, We have a firm reliance. We'll sit and smoke, And cra^\ our joke, Or else we'll tell a story : How on a night In a tavern-fight. We won immortol glory. Or sing a song. To speed along The lazy negro hours. With a full glass 'fW' "■W^>^.• Wo )<;t time ]>aRs, Auil reck not of his powers; And wliile we sing The room shall ring. Tht^ ceiling echo o'er as; And bir.sen hings And ti relets tongues Shall join to form our chorus; Since such my boys, Are tavern joys. Shall they he done away with No, surely no Tiii.'. may'nt be so. Your landlords you will stay with ; Then quickly pass The frothy glass, And pledge each other round, boys. No joy on earth Like social mirth Can any where be found boys.* TO A FRIEND' WHO UEQUESTED A " SONG ON HIMSELF .'' My good friend, Harry, To tell you true, I was fain to tarry With the song on you. * Th*} foregoing must not be taken as an expression of the Author's sentiments, but rather as m attempt to caricature what he fancied might be the sentiments of others. The Au- thor has put it down as it came from bis " rhyming mmt with very little alteration or correction. This remark applies to almost every piece in the volume ; as he prefers making new songs to mendin- old ones. ^^ Mr. Henry Duncan, second son of William Duncan, Esq., Till something funny I might hope to find, Tho' for love nor money Would I feel inclined. For to be bitter Or severe on you, Yet my muse's twitter Must needs be true, She'll say you are a Fine handsome boy, That you're not chary Too proud or coy. That you have spirit To resist a wronff, A lad of merit Good feelings strong. Frank, cordial, hearty, Kmd and sincere. Dupe to no party, felave to no fear. On thine every feature Impressed we see AViiat a noble creature A man may be. But here supposing It is high time of York, the largest landed proprietor in the To:vnship, and who the last election but one contested the Reeveshipwith Mr. James, and was only defeated by 3 votes. But he will have better luck another time should he care to try, as he is by all odds the more proper person. l^% 65 To think of closing This feeble rhyme. I hasten quickly Unto an end, My verse so sickly 'J^ho' for a friend. SUBSCRIBERS' NAMES. The names stand in the order in which they "we'^e received, with the exception of those of the lady subscribers, these being per force placed in a separate column, — few in number. They were all that were asked — two only excepted. Henry Duncan, William Armstrong, John Elliott, Thomas B. Watson, Francis Watson, William Stott, J. Norton, J. Degan, George Etherinton, Hughes & Brothers, jl. Morrison, W. P. Marston,, John Anderson, A. Kerr, J. Turn«*r, William Watson, Junr. W. Trover, R. Phillips, Jacob Gram, William Brack, James Young, David Young, Charles Smith, E£;q., Senr. R. Coleman, Thomas Moore, Andrew .Aloffat, Nathaniel Baker, Bartholomew Bull, Edward Bull D. Dunn, William Duncan, Esq., Sr. Samuel Littlejoin, Francis Boake, James Stephens, William Jackson, liisq., Sr M. Han day, Alexander G. Wardlaw, Wm. H. Goulding S. Allen, Jacob Cathcart, Charles White well, W. Trayling, Joseph Bales, John Morgan, [ Eady Stevenson, T. Burns, William Stewart, J. Taylor, Robert Risborough, Elijah Armstrong, Joseph Armstrong, G. Johnson, Thomas Powell, Thos. D. Mulhollamd, Esq. D, Donovan, Thomas Nightingale, William McMuUin, Thomaa Snider, Esq. John Gibb, W. A. Moore, Neil McDonald, J. Dixon, Robert Moore, Samuel Stewart. * Robert McWhirr, James Deleray, J. Mattlews, Joseph Watson, G. P. Ross, Mrs. Jackson, 4th Con. ^Irs. Bull, Senr. do Mrs. M. J. Elliott. Miss C. A. Cathcart, Matthew Parons, Thomas Goulding, James W. Bridgeland, Esq. [2 copies.] Joshua Carlton, John Stevenson, Henry Armstrong, James Hugill, Davia Carruthers, Robert Carruthers, C. B. Bridgeland, Esq. E. W. Boake, Benjamin Boake, J. Ross, Robert Clark. John Charlton, Esq. Thomas Smith, Charles Smith, Junr. John Coleman- J. Johnston, J. Sheppard, William Clayton, William Magee, Esq. John S. Nelson, William Hastings. Miss K. Hastings, Miss M. Henry. Miss E. Magee. ERRATA. Page 10, line 5, for invite read invites. " " 18, for helican read helicon. « " 21, for luxuriate read luxuriates. 13, for Sorrie read Gorrie. " line 17, for must read much. " line 26, for time read tune. 14, " 21, for reach read sketch. 18, for 1955, read 1855. 29, line 7, for indissolluble, read indissolubljr. 30, " 23, for man read more. 31, for youth read Young Lady. 32, line 1, for bidden read hidden. 34-, " 8, for both read leth. 39, " 5, for revolting read revolving. u u u u u u u it (t u « (( {( Note. — The reader will please observe that, owing to a mistake in printing, page 22 is where 23 ought to be, and vice versa.