^!^^ s^ IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 b;|28 |25 u lift ^^ 1.1 lU ■u lit 14,0 IL25 in 1.4 1^ M I 1.6 P^ ^# '4' k.^4 ^>':^. '''^ Hiotographic Sciences Corporation ^ ;V .^^ ^ •SJ ^ 23 WEST MAIN STREfT WEBSTER, N.Y. 14SS0 (7l6)S72-4503 O^ '%'' CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHJVl/ICiVIH Collection de microfiches. Canadian Institute for Historicai IVIicroreproductions / institut Canadian de microreproductions liistoriques Technical and Bibliogrfiphic Not«s/Noto8 tachniquos at bibliographiquaa Tha Inatituta haa attarnptad to obtain tha baat original copy availabia for filming. Faaturaa of thia copy which may ba bibliographically uniqua, which may altar any of tha imagaa in tha raproduction, or which may aignificantiy changa th4 uauai mathod of filming, ara chaclcad balow. D D D D D Coloured covara/ Couvarture de couleur I I Covera damaged/ Couverturo endommagia Covera reatored and/or laminated/ Couvarture restaur^ et/ou pellicuiie j I Cover title miaaing/ La titre de couverture manque Coloured mapa/ Cartea g^ographiquaa en couleur Coloured Inic (i.e. other than blue or black)/ Encre de couleur (3.e. autre que bleue ou noire) I I Coloured piatea and/or iiluatrationa/ Planchea et/ou iiluatrationa en couleur Bound with other material/ Raiii avac d'autrea documanta Tight binding may cauae ahadowa or diatortion along interior margin/ La re liure aarrie peut cauaar de i'ombre ou de la diatortion la long de la marge int^rieure Blanit iaavaa added during reatoratfon may appear within the text. Whenever poaaible, theae have been omitted from filming/ II ae peut que certainea pagea blanchea ajouttea lora d'une reatauration apparaiaaent dana la texte, ma;8, ioraqua cela 6tait poaaible, cea pagea n'ont paa 6t6 filmtea. L'inatitut a microfilm^ la meilleur axemplaira qu'il iui a 4tA poaaible de aa procurer. Lea ditaiia de cat exempiaire qui aont paut-Atre uniquea du point de vue bibiiographique, qui pauvent modifier une image raproduite, ou qui pouvant exiger une modification dana la mAthoda normaia da fiimaga aont indiquAa cl-deaaoua. n n D D D n Coloured pagea/ Pagea da couleur Pagea damaged/ Pagea andommag^ea Pagea reatored and/or laminated/ Pagea reataurAea et/nu peilicultea Pagea diacoiourad, atained or foxed/ Pagea d^coiortea, tachetdea ou piquAea Pager detached/ Pagea d^tachiea Showthrough/ Tranaparance Quality of print varlaa/ Quality in^gaia de I'impreaalon Includea aupplamentary material/ Comprend du materiel auppltfmentaire Only edition available/ Seule Mition diaponible Pagea wholly or partially obacured by errata alipa, tiaauaa, etc., have bean ref limed to enaure the beat poaaible image/ Lea pagea totalement ou partiellement obacurciea par un feulllet d'errata, une pelure, etc., ont M filmtea it nouveau de fapon d obtenir la meilleure image poaaible. T» to Tl P< o1 fll O b4 t^ 8l o1 fll ai 01 Tl at Tl w M di er b( rl| ra m B Additional commenta:/ Commentairea aupplAmantairaa: Pages 17 to 22 are repeated. Thia item la filmed at the reduction ratio checked below/ Ca document eat film* au taux de rMuction indiqu* cl-deaaoua. 10X 14X 18X 22X 12X 16X 20X 26X 30X a4x 28X n 32X tail* du >di»er una naga Tha copy filmad hara has baan raproducad thanks to tha ganarosity of: Library of tha Public Archivas of Canada Tha imagas appaaring hara ara tha bast quality possibia consldaring tha condition and laglblllty of tha original copy and In kaaping with tha filnnlng contract spaclflcations. Original coplas in printad papar covara ara filmad baginning with tha front covar and anding on tha last paga with a printad or lllustratad impras- sion, or tha back covar whan appropriata. All othar original coplas ara filmad baginning on tha first paga with a printad or lllustratad impras- slon, and anding on tha last paga with a printad or lllustratad Imprasslon. Tha last racordad frama on aach microflcha shall contain tha symbol -^ (moaning "CON- TINUED"), or tha symbol y (maar.Ing "END"), whichavar appllas. L'axamplaira filmA fut raproduit grAca k la gintrosit* da: La bibiiothiqua das Archivas pubiiquas du Canada Las Imagas sulvantas ont 4tA raproduitas avac la plus grand soln, compta tanu da io condition at da la nattatA da I'axampiaira film*, at Bn conformity avac las conditions du contrat da filmaga. Las axamplalras orlglnaux dont la couvartura 9n paplar ast imprim^a sont filmte an commandant par la pramiar plat at an tarminant soit par ia darnlAra paga qui comporta una amprainta d'Imprasslon ou d'illustration, soit par ia sacond plat, aalon la cas. Tous las autras exarnplairas orlglnaux sont f llmAs an commandant par la pramiira paga qui comporta una amprainta d'Imprasslon ou d'illustration at »n tarminant par la darnlAra paga qui comporta una taila amprainta. Un das symbolas sulvants apparaftra sur la darnlAra imaga da chaqua microflcha. salon la cas: la symbols -^ signifia "A SUIVRE", la symbols V signifia "FIN". IMaps, platas, charts, ate, may ba filmad at diffarant raductlon ratios. Thosa too larga to ba antlraly Includad i ona axpoaura ara filmad baginning in tha uppar left hand cornar, left to right and top to bottom, as many framas as required . The following diagrams illustrate the method. Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., pauvent Atre fllmte A das taux da rAJuctlon diffArents. Lorsque le document est trop grand puur Atre reprodult on un seul clichA, II est film* A partir da Tangle supArieur gauche, de gauche A droits, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'Images n6cessalre. Les diagrammes sulvants illustrent ia mithoda. rrata :o peiure. Id □ 32X 1 2 3 1 2 3 . 4 5 6 ii L@lE@liTI@: A LOCAL WLwrnMi MmiM^m* BY SAM SCRIBBLE. (^First performed at the Theatre Koyal, Montreal, on Monday, January 9, 1865.) JOHN LOVELL, PRINTER, ST. NICHOLAS STREET. 1865. Gra Mas Mas Qui Kin Loi> Mr Mr SAf Mo To: Ot |g)@L@l^i@0=^TO®<, DRAMATIS PERSONS. Grandpapa Canada. Master East, his son, a gentleman of French education. Master West, younger son of Canada, an overgrown boy. Quebec, " the fast," a specimen of Young Canada. Kingston, " the slow," a very old boy. London, a blighted being. Mr. Abe North, ^ Two noisy neighbours. Mr. Jefferson South, ) Santa Claus, everybody's friend, Montreal, a fashionable young lady. Toronto, a young lady with a very good opinion of herself, Ottawa, a young lady scarcely " out," Sa D0LQHS0L1.TX0. SCENE I. A Passagc^Doors in Jiat^ marked L. Quebec, Mon- treal, Ottawa, Hamilton, Toronto, Kingston, London, r. A large stocking hanging from each door. Fire place, R. P/acaz-c^s " Golden BiTTERS," dx., on Flat. Music. Enter SAHTAChAVS^verg steal- thilgfrom chimney , R. He carries a variety of toys. Santa Claus. Doa't be alarm'd— I'm not a burglar, tho' Appearance is against me, as I know, And such an entrance is unique no doubt ; I'm like John A, — you cannot keep me out ! In fact I'd enter, for I make so free, Uncle Tom's Cabin e'en without the key ; And yet unlike the usual thief you'll find me, — I come and go, but leave ' the swag* behind me, — Yearly I visit, with deserved impunity^ What the press calls the Juvenile Community — But yet to leave such playthings here I'm loath, For hero are children of a larger growth, [^Loohing at names on doors. Placards, d;c. Who'd scarcely be content with toys like these If I may argue by the premises ! 8 DOLORSOLATIO. I \^R(jpid muHic, which continues till the end of tcene. Santa I'laus goes townnh Quebec's door, L. Palis toij Locomotive, labelled " Intercoi.oniai, Railway" out of bay, and places it in stocking on QuebccU door. First, here's the Railway, whioh, with Federation, Will make you oapital of this now nation! [^Same business at Montreal's (hor —placing toy soldiers in Montreal's stocking. And what for you, Montreal ? ah ! yea ! of course Horc 'ud be a help towards your active Force ! [Same business at Ottawa\s door placing bricks in Ottawa's stocking. Miss Ottawa, you're rngtlicr in a lix With your new buildings, here's a box of bricks ! I hope you'll use them. [Going fn Hamilton^ door. Ah ! you've come to grief! Poor boy ! Well, here's " Municipal Relief." [Places bag labelled " MUNICIPAL Reliep" into Hamilton's stocking. There Is a large hole In stocking, bag falls through. There's souicthing rotten in the state— 'tis shocking To see such carelessness ! — [Places bag In again — bag falls through as before. Santa Glaus taking stocking from door and advancing. Why, darn that stock! n O' [Showing stocking to audience. It seoms the constable he has out run, And put his foot in it, — more ways than one. Toronto [Going to Toronto's door Xlc laCtLyt ^-nc/r Zr^^^Q DOLOHSOLATIO. 17 In vain of smartness now they raise the cry, There's Lincoln grern too clearly in their eye I [Noise of fighting at hack, London. Ah ! there's a row ! and so I vote for one, We're off at once, my boys, to see the fun ! Canada. Agreed ! but stay ! I fear that this admission May pr'aps be construed into Recognition ! — I'm strictly neutral ! and my feelings smother ! I hate one side ! and can't a-boar the other ! I'll stay at home ! West. At home ! what's that you say ? At any rate you're bound to see fair play ! Air: Billy Taylor. London. So off we go ! There's a row 2 tell you ! Such a hully fight you will shortly see ! Come along, old cuss ! Canaj)A. Well ! I will, young fellow / Canada is the hoy to enjoy a spree ! \Repeat in chorus, and exeunt omnes, R. dancing off in couples— Kingston hy himself in rear.] SCENE III. Gardens of Grandpapa Canada's House — Palings at hack c, v'Ua L. o, [Rapid music— center all the characters^ R, 2. Et Jmrriedli/ — noise of fighting at hack, Canada, Ah ! here they are ! by jingo ! here's a tussle ! Stand back, you boys, and let them show their muscle ! [^Great noise of fighting outside — Enter c, knocking down paling. Mb.. A. North, and Mr. J, SoVTK, fighting down tofront—'lhhleait,, London. Bully for you! Quebec. By jingo ! aint this prime ? T EONTO. I'll back the old 'un — Montreal. I the young 'un — Canada. Time! [^Combatants glare at each other fiercely, R. C, and L. c— characters forming ring, CANADA, c. Canada. Not in my house ! I won't have su'jh marauders Spoiling my garden, trampling on my borders ! [Combatants glare at each other — they appear as if about to fight, hut don't. Mr. South. I'll gouge him, that's a fp'^t ! Mr. North. Snakes ! there's a figure ! Mr. South. You tarna) Yank ! Mr. North. You everlasting Nigger ! [Same business, after which Mr. North \nd South skedaddle in opposite directions.] Ca] Ca Wi Ca We S. ' Ca S. f ■ ^ D0L0R60LATI0. 19 2. Et Canada. I tell you what, this sort of thing won't do — We all must stick together — Kingston. Yes, that's true — And get those palings mended — Canada. So I will. West. And say, old ouss, you'd better learn your drill ! Canada. But then this soldiering does so enlarge My bills — West. Then you must learn to stand the charge. We're not so weak as every one supposes, Besides we now may count on the Blue Noses ; We'll stand our ground, and laugh at ev'ry threat — The New York Herald never scared us yet. Now then let's liquor — [Santa Claus rises through trap c, as a quack Doctor.^ S. Claus. May I be allowed, Altho' a stranger here, to treat the crowd ? Canada. And who are you ? S. Claus. Well, Sir, first let me state, I've dined, and that I'm not a Delegate ! I've heard with grief that you have long been ailing, In fact I'm told your constitution* s failing — I'm the great Doctor, Santa Claus — N. B. Advice is gratis, — I'm above a fee — \_Givi71g his eard. Here's Soothing Syrup, whose effect's immense ! An instantaneous cure for fifteen cents ! \_Offering bottle to West. Here's a Pain Killer, when the pain is crushing ! And Pills to stop involuntary blushing f [Offering Pills to (iVEBEe. » DOLORSOLATIO. The Fragrant Sozodont ! a nostrum new, And recommended to those gents what chew ! — It gives new fragrance to the breath, I know ! Throw out your p?w^«, and try this quid pro quo ! [Same business. Ready Relief ! I can with safety boast, Which cures a stomach-ache, if sent by Post ! — [Same husiness. To all Dyspeptics quite a welcome treat ! And " Golden Bitters" I .nay add, en suite! West. But all these things no more such puffing need — ■ Look at our palings— you may run and read, When now each wall its pet prescription owns A sanitary sermon in the stones — Santa Claus. True ! these are trifles ! you've been ill so long I'd better try a med'cine far more strong ! Delays are dangerous ! my advice is haste — [Showing a Domjohn lahelled " DoLORSOLATio." Dolorsolatio ! would you like to taste ! This remedy is new, but most expedient, And ^' Federation " is the sole ingredient! [Takes out cork, and j^5«7/« oiit paper marked " Federation "— Tableau. Take a long pull and you'll not fail to think It is a most insinuating drink. [Gives bottle to Canada. Canada. A j/ieasant tipple ! — and uncommon sound ! [Drinki. West. Drink iair, old cuss, and pass the bottle round. Here's luck ! gents all, and ladies [Drink DOLOBSOLATIO. 21 »> Montreal. Yes, but stop: You'll spare the ladies just a leetle drop ? [ They all chink. Omnes, We're all iimeli better. Santa Glaus. Then I need not stay. There's nothing more for me to do — good day. Canada. One moment, pray don't let your favours cease, You've stopped our fighting ; now conclude the piece ! Santa Claus. Nonsense! why you, since you're no longer weak, Must for yourself henceforward learn to speak. Canada. D'you think I could ? Well, really I must doubt it, I've had such help, I now can't do without it — T think, to save me from too great confusion I Our friends had better draw their own conclusion ! \^Paiisc — Canada is pushed forward. Kind friends, — for you're all friends that here I see j West. Pitch it in strong, old Guv'nor, like McGee ! Canada. [To audience — advancing.'] You've seen how I've been eured, — to make me stand Firm in my new resolve, give me your hand ! I see you will — then you approve — that's certain — Thank you ! now then, blue fire ! and down the curtain ! [Curtain half down—'Music, piano : " The Cure," then crescendo. Characters keeping time to symphony. Santa Claus. \_Spea1cing through music. One moment — [Curtain vjh'] There's one duty yet before us ! We're bound, of course, to finish with a chorus ! 28 DOLORSOLATIO. Finale: "The Cure." Canada. To melody appropriate ' (Though out of hreath, Tm sure,) Allow me once again to state, Tve found the perfect cure ! ^Ae Cure ! Me Cure ! yes/ Me Cure! TJien our success is sure f ■ Iffnends hut say that our new play Is the only perfect Cure ! \Repeat in chorus — Dance hy characters. m Irli m CURTAIN. ■AY li icters. ' DOLORSOLATIO. 9 [Feels in hag — Cock crows — Santa Claus starts melodramatically. Ah ! my senses feel a shock ! That summons from the early village C — rooster ! I'm a night bird, and so when once I hear That matutinal rooster's chant I clear ! [Chord. Santa Claus sinks down trap C. 1 #• SCENE. IL I Interior o/ GRANDPAPA Canada's House. [Grandpapa Canada discovered.'] Canada. Heigho ! the time runs on, and yet I'm told I'm better looking, now I'm growing old, And hale and hearty, though I've lately found My constitution is by no means sound — And sure enough my troubles are unceasing, When my small family k^eps on increasing : My sons are two fine boys, and yet I see With sorrow that the lads don't quite agree , The elder's all French polish, but the other ' Bosses ' his Pa, and quarrels with his brother ! — And then, to add to all my cares and labours, My rest is broken by two noisy neighbours. Who over there make such a great to-do, As if there was not room enough for two ! But, thank my stars ! as the shop-keepers say There's '' no connection with across the wayT^ But ah ! here comes the child I love to spoil. My western angel ! Enter Master West, r., drawing Ottawa on sleigh. He leaves Ottawa at back, who plays with hricJcs that wnr placed in afocJdng in Scene I. R. u. e. Yes ! I smell coal oil ! — My precious darling, how you have grown ! DOLORSOLATIO. u {^Thej/ emhmcc — during the embrace enter Master East, l — Tableau — East looks at the others^ a la Paul Prfj. East. ' By Gar ! Vc interropt hiiu ! West. How d'ye do, Papa ! I'm pretty spry, I gucBS — but don't you think Common politeness would suggest a drink? Canada [to Easi]. Mon cher, you're rather late— East. C'est v^ai — --^ou know Dat Grand Tronk Railway is so goddam »low — Canada. [Seeing Ottawa, r. u. e.] And Ottawa ? where is she ? in disgrace ? — West. No — in the buck ground — that's her proper place. East. Mon cher, vous avcz, what d'ye call it, reason : — Unter Quebec, l. 2. e. on a Toboggan. Quebec. The compliments, dear governor, of the season — Canada. Gracious ! you've made me jump ! Quebec. The fun's immense ! I Have just tobogganed down from Montmorenoi ! Our winters all the best of sport provide — All day I sJcatr, — West. And let your business slide ! Quebec. [Showing tog from stoehing in Scene I. Look what I've got, aint the a pretty toy ! West. It may do some day, but not yet, my boy ! Talking of playthings, let my youngster show Her box of bricks. [Brings OTTAWA donn to c, Ottawa tries to ImiJdj hut the bricks always fall down. Quebec. Well ! here's a pretty go ! 12 DOLOESOLATIO. Whoever thought a serious game like that Could be well understood by such a brat ! Just let me try my hand— [Quebec ADVANces— West interposes— «7irf puslm Ottawa out, r. 2 e.] West. You'd like to bone Those buildings— never mind — she'll hold her own— [Luguhrions music. Enter Kingston, veri/f telly, Canada. And here comes Kingston — you look sad, what is it? Kingston. I've not recovered yet the Prince's visit — I'm old, used up, and stupid, and in short I'm scarcely now, I may say, worth a thought. They call me slow. West. And your appearance may Be held to justify \*hat people say — \^Sleigh Bells outside. Canada. More visitors I guess — d'ye hear the bells. Enter Montreal and Toronto, r. Quebec, l. Toronto ! and Montreal — and ar'nt they swells ! Toronto [to Canada]. How well you look— Canada. My dears, and as for you, I scarcely know who's prettier of the two ! Montreal. Why, Grandpapa, without of doubt a particle, I, Montreal, am