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Tous les autres exemplaires originaux sont filmte en commenpant par la premiere page qui comporte une empreinte d'impression ou d'illustration et en terminant par la dernidre page qui comporte une telle empreinte. Un des symboles suivants apparaitra sur la dernidre image de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — ► signifie "A SUIVRE". le symbols y signifie "FIN". Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre filmfo A des taux de reduction diffdrents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour Atre reproduit en un seul clich6, il est film* d partir de I'angle supArieur gauche, de gauche A droite, et de haut en bes, en prenant le nombre d'images nicessaire. Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la m^thode. 1 2 3 4 5 6 32X '■() •-V ■•%_ •^■ .-v.'^.-. ^ "■^/-*-' ^•- '^w'w'-^'^'>^ iDuMORIALS or CAPTAIN H. VICAKS. .. -s. ^^y^^.-^^ c A MEMORIALS OF CAPT. HEDLEY VICARS, NINETY-SEVENTH REGIMENT. BY THE AUTHOR OF <' THE VICTORY WON." MONTREAL : E. PICKUP, 69 FRANCOIS XAVIER STREET, VR.NTED AT OWLER & STEVENSON'S STEAM PRINTINQ ESTABLISHMENT. 42 ST. FRANC OIS XAVIER STREET. 1856. T n ^Yn ^ctorb OF THE FAITH OF A SON IS AFFECTIONATELY INSCRIBED TO HER WHOM GOD GRACIOUSLY CHOSE TO SOW IN HIS YOUNG HEART ITS FIRST IMPERISHABLE SEED (Honttnts, I.— Boyhood U If. — The Awakening... 17 III. — Conversion ;29 IV.— Diary 43 V. — Home 55 VI. — Friendship 67 VII.— The War 80 VIII.— The Hospital 107 IX. — Winter before Sebastopol 149 X.— The Day-star rises 173 XL— The Victory ^04 Appendix,—" In Memoriam.'^ 209 - ^^ftMJ W at t f uLj t A'gjllgU. I. ■CfciTBn.tjM PREFACE. It may strike some who tr.ke up this volume, as strange that a memoir should be written of one who was so early cut off, in the flower of his age, that he had scarcely begun the fulfilment of his youthful promise ; whose name, till its last honourable men- tion by his Commander-in-Chief, was little known beyond his own family and an extended circle of friends and comrades. Why, it may be asked, was he chosen out of the many not less brave or less beloved, who as freely of- fered up their lives for their country, and whose graves are, like his, far distant upon the shore of the stran- ger ? It is thought that a perusal of the following pages will sufficiently answer this question, and that, by Grod's blessing, these records of his brief career will not have been preserved in vain. If any have cast the bread of life upon the restless waters of some wanderer's heart, and are still wait- ing and hoping to find it after many days, let them take comfort as they read how the parental prayer and blessing, which seemed to be disregarded, were X PREFACE. recalled in the moment of temptation and in a dis- tant scene, were mused upon during lonely midnight watches, and cherished in a close companionship with danger and death. There are those who, m the face of examples to the contrary, still maintain that entire devotion of the heart to God must withdraw a man from many of the active duties of life, and who would be prepared to concede that in making a good Christian you may spoil a good soldier. To them the subject of this memoir affords a fresh and ample refutation. While so many, whom God's grace has awakened in our Army and Navy, conceive it to be their duty, as they feel it will be their delight, to receive a fresh commission as ministers of the Gospel of Peace, that they may preach at once to others the Name so dear to themselves ; and while the weak in faith seek a sphere more sheltered from temptation, he determin- ed upon the wiser and nobler course of standing firm to the colours under which he was already enroll- ed. When called to God's service, he found his mis- sion-field in the camp and in the hospital. He lived, during months of sickness and pestilence, to com- mend the religion he professed to all around him — while he pursued the duties of his profession with distinguished ardour and constancy — maintaining as a Christian a high reputation for bravery among the bravest of his companions in arms, and winning on his first battle-field the blood-stained laurels so soon to be exchanged for the crown of glory that fadeth not away. 1 n n in at se .11 th e.\ to a dis- idnight ip with !S to the of the : of the lared to )u may t of this While I in our duty, as 1 a fresh ice, that so dear 1 seek a etermin- ling firm J enrol l- hismls- He Uved, to corn- id him — sion with aining as mong the nning on Is so soon tiat fadeth PREFACE. XI These pages may meet the eye of some of the many young Englishmen who have more of Chr^sf. rehc^ion m their hearts than they have ever avowed m their lives, whose best feelings are stifled by the atmosphere of the society m which they find them- selves, and which they might and on^Tht to elevate ami pur,fy. Most grateful to God will the writer of these memorials be, if the courage cf any such be exalted and confirmed, and their manly hearts inspiied to emulate the noble example of a Christian Sol- 1^ I.— BOYHOOD. "A iioble boy. A brave, free-hearted, careless one. , Full of unchecked, unbidden joy, Of dread of books, and love of fun ; And w'th a clear and ready smile Unshadowed by a lliouEfhl of guile." Willis. Hedley Sh a fto Johnstone Vicars was bom in the Mauritius, on the 7th of December, 1826. His father, an officer in the Royal Engineers, was the re- presentative of the family of Don Vicaro, a Spanish Cavalier who came to England in the suite of Katha- rine of Arragon, and settled in Ireland early in the sixteenth century, on the marriage of his eldest grand- son with the heiress of the Lalor family. The family estate was Levally, in Queen's County. There was little to distinguish the early days of Hed- ley Vicars from those of other healthy, high-spirited boys. Active and fearless, he was foremost among his playfellows wherever fun or frolic was to be found. Open-hearted and generous, quick to resent an in- jury, but ready to forgive, he was a universal favour- ite with them, whilst his sweetness of temper, and kind, unselfish nature, especially endeared him to his family at home. His faults were those of an en- ergetic and wayward disposition, and those legends which are wont to be preserved in families, re- cord occasional instances of his odd and amusing perversity. When the children were gathered around their mothei to repeat texts of Scripture in turn, Hed- B 12 BOYHOOD. ley, refusing to enter into the spirit of the little circle, would contribute nothing but " Remember Lot's "wife." On one occasion, being reproved by his mother for light conduct at family worship, he walked off during the prayer, and ensconced himself in a little cave in the garden, barricading it with the determination of Bpending the night there, by way of punishing his mother for reproving him in the presence of the as- Bembled family. But after a time his better nature was touched by the entreaties and caresses of his little sisters, and he returned, softened and penitent, to ask and obtain forgiveness. Once, at the end of the holidays, when he was told to pack up his box for school, resolving to put off the evil day as long as possible, he paid no attention to his mother's repeated injunctions until they be- came positive commands, no longer to be disregarded. Then he walked away to his room, with an air of in- sulted dignity, and soon called out, ^'Mother, my box is packed." On opening the door of her room, she found the box placed there, loosely corded and packed, indeed, but with the housemaid's dust-pan and brushes, and a collection of old boots, shells, stones, and all sorts of rubbish, with which a few of Mrs. Vicars's favourite books were irreverently jum- bled ; the boy, meanwhile, hanging over the ban- nisters, humming a careless tune, calmly view^ed a displeasure, the dignity of which it Avas not easy to preserve. Yet in spite of these and similar exhibitions of "Waywardness, lie never caused his mother serious anxiety in his boyhood, or gave lasting pain to that tender heart, ever knit to his own by the fondest affection. She was for some years the only guardian of his childhood. Loss of health obliged her to return to England with her children, whilst their father was t V 1; I BOYHOOD. 13 le circle, )er Lot's lother for ff during 3 cave in nation of bing his f the as- T nature 3S of his penitent, he was to put off attention they be- egarded. lir of in- , my box >om, she ed and Uist-pan shells, a few of tly jum- lie ban- iewed a easy to tions of serious I to that fondest 1 of his turn to ler was i detained in the Mauritius by military duty. He came home to rejoice the hearts ot his family in the year 1835 and died four years afterwards, in the prime of man- hood, at Mullingar, West Meath, where he held a military appointment. He was honoured and be- loved by the whole neigbourhood. High-spirited, and fearless for himself, for his sis- ters Hedley was ever thoughtful, and treated them with invariable gentleness. The tenderness of his boyish years, for all who were under the power of his superior strength, was the germ ot that constant consideration and goodness exercised in after-life to- wards those who were under his command, which drew forth from them an affection meet to illustrate the words, '' Perad venture for a good man some would even dare to die." When the boy was twelve years old his father's dying hand was laid upon his head, with the earnest prayer '^ that he might be a good soldier of Jesus Christ, and so fight manfully under his banner as to glorify his holy name." It might ahnost seem that faith had given to the departing Christian, as to the aged Jacob, a voice of prophecy. Knows he not now, and will he not yet more perfectly know, in a day for which a groaning creation looketh, how fully a faithful God granted to him this— his last prayer? From this time Hed ley's love for his mother gra- dually deepened into that peculiar form of protecting tenderness which seems the prerogative of a widow's son, and there grew up with his growth an almost feminine gentleness and a sensitive regard for the feelings of others, which, combined with singular strength and sledfastntss of character, rendered the friendship of his matured manhood so precious to those who had the privilege of enjoying it. To vStudy he had always shown a marked and posi- tive aversion, and devoted his time to anything ra- r \ vm 1 u BOYHOOD. ther than to the prescribed form of drudgery. At one school, then newly formed, where he was placed for a year or two, the contagion of his high spirits often carried off the master — himself a young man — from graver pursuits to join in the wild adventures and pranks of his gay and reckless pupil, somewhat to the scandal of their sober neighbours. This determination not to study followed him to Woolwich, and prevented him from acquiring the distinction necessary to secure a commission in the Engineers or Artillery. All this was seriously regret- ted by him in after life, not alone because he thus deprived himself of a more advantageous branch of the service, but also on account of time wasted, which had been given him so to use that he might finally rrnder his account of it with joy. On Christmas day, 1843, his mother received a letter, announcing that her son had obtained a com- mission in the line, written by the same hand which on Good Friday, 1855, informed her how faithfully unto death that commission had been fulfilled. Early in the following spring he commenced his military career by joining the depot of the 97th Regi- ment in the Isle of Wicht. He was an ardent lover of his profession, and from first to last was devoted to its duties. In writing to his mother an account of his first review, with its fatigues of marchmg, skirmish- ing, and firing, he adds with boyish pride, " But my zeal for the service kept me up." In the autumn of 1844 he returned home to take leave of his family at Langford Grove, in Essex, be- fore sailing for Corfu. His eldest sister well remem- bers his joyous bearing as he first exhibited himself to them in the Queen's uniform, and her own admir- ation of the bright, intelligent countenance, broad shoulders, and well-knit, athletic figure of her young soldier-brother. A lew woeks afterwards he j?aiied fo .^•i BOYHOOD. 15 pry. At s placed rits often m — from ires and 3what to him to ring the n in the y regret- he thus ranch of i, which : finally ;eived a a com- d which lithfully iced hiti h Regi- nt lover v^oted to ntofhis irmish- But my to take ex, be- emem- [limself admir- I broad vouno- >saiied for Corfu— now fairly launched in the world and in a profession beset with temptations. He still retained the frank demeanour and kind and generous disposition which had distinguished him as a boy, with a keen relish for adventure, and a quick perception of the beautiful in all around him, as his descriptions of scenery sufficiently show. Gifts are these, lovely in themselves, but dangerous, often fa- tal, to their possessor, as the wrecks upon many a shoal of life too truly testify. He had a pleasant and prosperous voyage out ; with his usual activity lending a helping hand to the sai- lors in the work of the ship, and winning their hearts by his genial manners. At Corfu he entered with spirit into all the amusements which offered them- selves to him. His letters to his family were now less frequent than ever before or afterwards, and at this period of his life his reckless disposition often led him into scenes of which his conscience disapproved, and to excesses which, though never matured into habits, and, by the grace of God, early and for ever abandoned, were afterwards the subject of bitter and humiliating remembrance. In reference to this he wrote in 1854, " You will be spared poignant remorse in after years by remembering your Creator in the days of your youth. I speak from heartfelt experi- ence. I would give worlds if I had them, to undo what I have done." A single letter will be sufficient to show that his correspondence was at this time restricted to the de- tails of his outward life : to his mother. « Cephalonia, 1845. ii * * * Last week I had a delightful trip to Zante, where I was ordered to sit on a court-mtoial, and remained three days. I never enjoyed a place It ' ^.t\ 1 ' %^ BOYHOOD, more. It is a beautiful island covered with verdure. A wing of the reserved battalion of the 97th is quar- tered there — two companies in the town and one in the castle, which is about a mile above it. Clam- bering up was tedious work, as the hill in some parts is nearly perpendicular. I was, however, well re- paid for my trouble on arriving at the summit, where the si^ht which presented itself to my eyes was most magnificent. On one side of the ramparts you behold the town far below and the harbor crowded with mer- chant vessels of every nation ; while in the distance, through the misty haze, appears the dark outline of the Morean hills. Looking in the opposite direction, you see an immense plain thickly planted with vineyards, studded with olive groves and pretty villas, just visi- ble in the distance. Still further, mountains capped with snow form a boundary to the valley." Soon afterwards he was quartered in the castle at Zante, to his great delight, and his letters convey the same vivid impressions of the beauty of the scenes which surrounded him : "Summer is changing the aspect of all around. The plains beneath are already clothed in green ; the vines, olives, pomegranates and hawthorn, with roses, geraniums, and other wild but sweetly-scented flow- ers, shed their fragrance through the air, and every thing looks charmhig. Zante is a perfect garden of roses. I generally have two or three bouquets in my room. One could hardly have more pleasant quar- ters." '>« verdure, is quar- i one in Clam- ne parts well re- ;, where as most 1 behold ith mer- istance, leof the ion, you leyards, 1st visi- capped astle at ■ vey the scenes iround. en ; the fi roses, d iiow- I every den of in my ; quar- II. -THE AWAKENING. " Happy he With such a mother ! Trust in all things high Beats with his blood ; and though he trip and fail, Pie shall not blind iiis soul ^ith clay. Tbnnysox, The 97th was ordered to Jamaica in 1848. From Maroon Town he thus writes to his mother : — • , ^^ I see it all now. It is I that have caused your illness, my darling mother. Ever since the receipt of your last letter, I have been in a dreadful state of mind. I feel that I deserve God's severest punish- ment for my undutiful conduct towards the fondest of mothers, but the excruciating thought had never be- fore occurred to me that he might think fit to remove her from me. Oh, what agony I have endured ! what sleepless nights I have passed since the perus- al of that letter ! The review of my past life, espe- cially the retrospect of the last two years, has at last quite startled me, and at the same time disgusted me; You will now see the surest sign of repentance in my future conduct ; and believe me, that never, as far as in me lies, shall another moment's anxiety be caused you by your dutiful and now repentant son.'' The remorse which he thus affectingly expresses, was caused by his having incurred debt, to no great amount, but such as he knew would become a burdea to a widowed mother. Durng his residence in one of the Mediterranean isles;he had become acquainted 18 THE AWAKENING. with a family who showed him great hospitality, and an maintaining social intercourse with them, and shar- ing their pleasures, he had involved himself beyond his means. It was the first and the last time that his unselfish nature thus transgressed. In the depth of his penitence for his errors towards an earthly parent — called forth by the patient bearing of her forgiving love — do we not see the foreshadowing of that prostration of soul with which he humbled himself, when once the kindness and long-suffering of his God and Saviour were manifested to him in the fulness of redeeming love ? And thus it was first through the raising of his moral nature by means of the holiest affections of man's heart, that he was eventually, after many a fall and rising again, to be drawn up into the higher life of fellowship with the JFather and with his son Jesus Christ. The depth and tenderness of his feelings at this time are weU spoken again in the following letter to his mother : — <^ What a difference there is between the crowded sea of the Mediterranean and the broad and dreary expanse of the Atlantic ! On the former sea we pass- ed hundreds of vessels, but from the day we left Gib- laltar to enter into the Western Ocean, to the time we sailed up the Carribean sea, not more than two vessels hove in sight, and they were nearly hull down with their top-spars alone visible. On, on we went through the monster ocean of the western hemis- phere, with the glorious sky above, and the rolling restless waves beneath. A huge whale kept.us com- pany for one day — no one on board had ever seen one like it. Porpoises and dolphins enliven us also by their presence every day, affording great delisht, by their clumsy gambols, to the seamen and soldiers. <* Our watches were kept day and night. I had my Tigilto keep for four hours every night, and often have' M 1 t THE AWAKENING. 19 tality, and » and shar- •If beyond le that his :s towards it bearing hadowing humbled -suffering im in the was first means of ; he was in, to be with the this time er to his crowded d dreary ^'^e pass- eft Gib- time we ► vessels m with e went hemis- rolling IS com- een one ilso by 'ht, by liers. lad my n have' * r, wlien on the middle or morninff watch, clambered aloft to the tops, ami nsat down and watched, on many a wild and stormy ni^ht, the flyini^ scud as it rolled restlessly across the lace of the moon, entirely wrap- ped up in thouii-hts of yon anil home, of past times and. past events. I have imagined myself coming home, the surprise it would give you, antl how happy we should be. In the midst of such delicious reveries, the retrospect nt ihe last few months has struck me as it were with a blight. I have said to m^'self, ^ Oh, that Ihadtlie last two years allotted to me to live over again I' vVlas, logrets are now unavailing : let my future aim be 1o atone lor the lapse of time which can never be vecailed. '" We anchored on the morning of the otli in Mon- tego Bay ; and landed the same evenm soon as the guides were ready, our company marched otf to Falmouth, twenty miles distant, while I gave the word ol com- mand to No. 5 company, ' Right, form, four deep, march, (juick march,' anil we began our night march to Maroon Town. We were accompanied by crowds of blacks, many of whom carried torches of resinous wood ; and the light glaring on the men's bayonets and appointmerUs, through the pitch dark night, pro- duced a verv good eltect. I wish the moon had given us her friendly light, for then I should have been able to give you some account of the country : as it was, I could only distinguish that we were marching on a road, with a deep ravine on each side, through a richly-wooded country. The chirping made by in- sects was both loud and incessant, and the fireflies flitting in the bushes, and across our path by 'myriads, now and then showed us by their light a yawning abyss, as we marched, skirting its edge. The air was hot and sultry ; yet, in spite of this, and the badness of b2 ^.^-'K0l^^^^ 20 THE AWAKENING. ■ i: the ioads,tlie fust si.x. miles were spjjL'dily ;^ol ovt?rj but, as wo advanc'C'vl Iiii,dier up, the cnnntry bi'came more wiUl, ami the roads extremtdy dannerous, so that, cominandini;- the company lor llie time being, f liad to keep the iikmi well in hand, liles locUed np. Even in spite of this precaution, one vciy line yuunir t'ellow was nearly killed by a fall over a precij)i('e, but was providentially savotl by some bushes. It was lial!" an nonr before we j^-ot liim out. We had to make re- peated halts, as the men l)egan to sliow symptoms of fatigue ; and when we arrived at the half-way house (eleven miles over), we lialted to serve out "to each man some bread and a ration of spirits. After this slight refreshment, the men fell in, the advance sounded, and onward we trudged. " It now became all up hill work, and very weari- some : yet I kept my station at the lioad of the column. About a mile from the half-wa) house I went ahead of the column, and soon met the advanced guard of the 38th. They cheered, and told us as we i)assed,that their comrades were close at hand. In another ten mi- nutes we encountered them. They cheered us loudly, and shook hands with a numbi^r of our men, wishing us all good luck, and nood health at Maroon Town. " This place is merely a cantonment consisting of the Barracks, distant from our (juarters about :200 yards,and numerous pretty thatchetl cottages, with neat little gardens attached. It is situated in a dell, about 2,500 feet above the level of the sea, surrounded on every side by hills, which are thickly covered by stately trees. The foliage is very luxuriant, and the air is richly loaded with the aroma of numerous plants. Altogether the scene, is delightful to one who can enjoy the country : and as if nothing should be wanteil to heighten the beauty of the scene, through the open- ing between two hills is visible the boundless expanse of the ' jean. »'. (i. THE A\VAKEM.\(.. ol nif.' more so that, '^, f had Kvon 11^ tbiiovv \ni\ was s hallau laku re- plnins of ly Iiou.se to each rter this advance ■ woari- coluinn. ahead ol* d o( the hat their ten mi- ^ loudly, wishing Maroon sting of out "^200 ith neat l> about ided on )red by i the air plants, ho can ivanted 3 open- xpanse ^ecome . to be with a y^ chief :)okiii£: Eng- liiurJ- ■t well. . have ly-re« 3 pain could it my ' any- * in sfer to e war 'Ri» is over, it would be foolish to do so. Besides, I have heard lately that there is every probability of great promotion in the 97th ; so I think I will still stand by the Sky-blue. My mind is now relieved from its chief pressure by the kindness of dearest Clara and her generous husband. ''I must now tell you of the death of a brother officer. Lieutenant Bindon. He died on the 13th ot May at about live o-clock in the morning. Poor fel- low ! his was a short but painful illness. I remem- ber when I went into his room the sun w^as shining brightly tin-ougli the window;^, the birds were sing- ing cheerily^ and the merry laugh of the light-heart- ed soldiers (plainly audible from their barracks) grated harshly on my ear. He was dead ! Looking at his meek and placid face, calm and unruffled, I could ?iardly believe that I was not gazing on the livnig man. But, alas! his soul had fled. He was a robust and stalwart-looking man, about twenty-four years of age. With God's help, I trust 1 have learnt a lesson and a warning from his sudden death. He was buried the same evening in the small graveyard at the foot of the hill as you enter the cantonment. I, as senior subaltern, had command of the firing party. When we arrived, the tvri light was fast verging into darkness, and the funeral service was read by the light of a candle. This is soon over, and then all retire from the grave except myself and armed party of forty men. We tlien give three volleys — the roll- ing echoes are still reverberating when the earth is thrown in — and all is over. Such has been the me- lancholy end of my poor friend and mess-mate. I was deeply affected, and could not restrain my tears all the time. I felt my voice choked when I gave the command, ^ Fire three volleys in the air.' '*• I am now in the quarters he once occupied. It is a pretty cottage with two rooms, and a verandah in front. When 1 first went into it the passion-flower, -wl^is'^ itL^^**'"«lik A.t.Si 24 THE AWAKENING. :t ' ' jessamine, and honeysuckle, completely covered the windows ; but it made the room so dark, and, com- bined with the associations of poor Bindon's death, rendered the cottage so gloomy that I pulled it all down. I have a pretty little llower-garden, and a summer-house formed of a larea record- w him best conscience. tiy darling ?r hair and lall locket d my neck as a talisman. Darling Mary, 1 think more of those two locks of hair than of anything else in my posses- sion. ?? In July, 1849, we lind him intrusted with the ma- nagement ot a sort of regimental carnival — an enter- tainment which lasted two days, having been given by the 97th to the neighbouring families who had shown them hospitality and attention. At the close he expresses a sense of dissatisfaction, without any definite reason for it, but " is glad it is over." About this time he writes with his usual frank simplicity, " I have given up my cottage for the last fortnight to some invalids from Kingston and their doctor, and have domiciled myself in my kitchen. They are very grateful to me for my kindness." His cottage and garden were his playthings, and his re- fined taste displayed itself in their decoration, al- though this was now exercised with strict economy ; for he writes that he is " saving every fraction he can, to pay off his few remaining debts ;" and winds up this information with the pleasant announcement, " In a short time, dear mother, your son will be en- tirely out of debt ; hurrah 1" It was a year after this time, that a more serious tone be*- THE AWAKENING. 27 lome to him I 1 sluill be Avay. The ^nd convol- nvh. I Oh ! viiig in one ?ive me to e my pray- ^ and eter- > rally retire il serious ; p., and can souses but the sweet of (he tiny e lofty and f my little >Vhat fitter led by the I dear mo- died last - While le funeral yard, the 3 soldiers id laugh- ;e. Who ? Little >ir merry :1 as ever, iiigs will ve lately ! myself) heir own lere ?'' We have now come to the close of his life of gen- eral recklessness, chequered, and of late frequently, with strong religious impressions — convictions of sin, which resulted in vigorous though short-lived efforts at reform. Of this portion of his life, a valued friend of his, then belonging to the 97th, has lately written the following short notice : " From the first day I saw Vicars at Zante, in 1846, I was struck with his manly air and the peculiar, open truthfulness of his eye. He was at this time quite taken up with the gaieties of the island. We quitted for Malta, whence, in 1848, we sailed for Ja- maica. During the voyage he used to dress as a sai- lor, and delight in making himself useful to the crew. In Jamaica he had the advantages of attending an excellent ministry, and of witnessing the beauty of consistent religious character in the family of Dr. Mcllree, the surgeon of the 97th, which had their effect upon him. But this all passed away on his being withdrawn from these influences, by being ordered to the Lowlands to sit on court-martial, where he was again led away by unavoidable association with ungodly companions. At this time, as I after- wards heard from his own lips, he totally neglected prayer and the reading of the Bible, ?nd consequently lost the power of resisting temptation. A long period elapsed before a second conviction arose, and this appeared to be sudden, and lasted till he left Jamaica. He frequently came to me for prayer and the study of the Scriptures, either at my own quarters or at a brother officer's." The 97th left Jamaica for Halifax, Nova Scotia, in June, 1851. Almost immediately after landing, he was ordered to Canada, to take charge of volunteers for a regiment there. It was in the autumn of this year that he visited the Falls of Niagara, and his journal is written with deep and enthusiastic delight, 28 THE AWAKENING. describing his increasing excitement from the mo- ment when he first distmguished the distant roar of the waters to that which <* filled him with sublime and awful joy when they first broke upon his sight." He expresses his belief that no one could be an atheist whilst beholding the majestic power of God as dis- played in the stupendous magnificence of those Falls ; and while returnmg day after day to refresh and so- lemnize his spirit there, he realizes with renewed earnestness the sinfulness of wasting life in a mere search after pleasure, and is impressed with the im- portance of having a fixed aim of sufllcient strength to be a lever to his life. Self-interest, he has found, even when calculated upon with the reckoning of eternity, is not strong enough at all times to raise a man above the dominion of his own inclinations. He knew not yet "the expulsive power of a new affection," for he had not learnt to say, " The love of Christ constraineth me," a ■ 1 3m the mo- itant roar of ith sublime his sight." )e an atheist God as dis- those Falls ; Bsh and so- th renewed \ in a mere ^ith the im- mt strength has found, ckoning of 3 to raise a iclinations. r of a new rhe love of III..— CONVERSION. "Henceforth 1 live." — St. Paul ^* To be awakened,^^ writes one* who both from in- dividual and ministerial experience, well knew the difference between convictions and conversion, " you need to know your own heart, To be saved, you need to know the heart of God and of Christ." Hitherto Hedley Vicars had been the subject only of the awkening work of the Spirit. In later days, when he looked back on that period of his life, he distinctly stated, " I was not then converted to God." He was seeking, but he had not found, "the grace of life." Thank God! there is no such asking eye directed upward, to widch He does not, sooner or later, "reveal His Son." After all his anxious alarms, which had resulted in efforts succeeded by failures, he was now to be taught that the strength to preserve would be found, when the God of Hope should have ^^ filled him w^th all joy and peace in believing ; " and that he was to continue " diligent to be found of Him in peace,^^ as the one way of being " withoiit spot and blameless." It was in the month of November, 1851, that while awaiting the return of a brother officer to his room he idly turned over the leaves of a Bible which lay on the table. The words caught his eye, " The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." Hev. Robert :!d'Cheyiie. \.'. ' 'Hi li 1 30 CONVERSION. Closing the book, he said, " If this be true for me, henceforth I will live, by the grace of God, as a man should live who has been washed in the blood of Jesus Christ." That night he scarcely slept pondering in his heart whether it were presumptuous or not to claim an in- terest in those words. During those wakeful hours, he was watched, we cannot doubt, with deep and loving interest, by One who never slumberetn nor sieepeth ; and it was said of him in heaven, " Be- holcf, he prayeth." In answer to those prayers, he was enabled to be- lieve, as he arose in the morning, that the message of peace was " true for him" — " a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation." *< The past," he said, << then, is blotted out. What I have to do is, to go forward. I cannot return to the sins from which my Saviour has cleansed me with His own blood." An impetus was now given in «i new direction, of sufficient power to last tin the race was run— until he could say with the' Apostle Paul, " I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." Thenceforth he lived. And the life he now lived in the flesh, he lived by the faith of the Son of God, of whom he delighted to say, with realizing faith and adoring gratitude, " He loved me, and gave himself for me." On the mommg which succeeded that memorable night, he bought a large Bible, and placed it open on the table in his sitting-room, determining that " an open Bible" for the future should be " his colours." « It was to speak for me," he said, " before I was strong enough to speak for myself." His friends came as usual to his rooms, and did not altogether fancy the new colours. One remarked that he had « turned Methodist," and, with a shrug, retreated. Another ventured on the bolder measure of warning him not to become a hypocrhe : " Bad as you were Im So sert moi me^ gro| eou| hai i CONVERSION. 31 true for me, fod, as a man the blood of , in his heart claim an in- ikeful hours, th deep and mberetn nor 'aven, << Be- labled to be- 3 message of saying, and t," he said, do is, to go n which my lood." direction, of in— until he ve fought a ave kept the life he now of the Son th realizing Qf and gave memorable I it open on J that "an 3 colours." jforel was flis friends altogether lat he had retreated, f warning you were I never thought you would come to this, old fellow." So for the most part, for a time his quarters were de- serted by his late companions. During six or seven months he had to encounter no slight opposition at mess, " and had hard work," as he said, " to stand his ground." But the promise did not fail, "The right- eous shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall wax stronger and stronger." All this time he found great comfort in the society oi' a few brother officers who were walking with God, but especially in the faithful preaching of the Gospel of Jesus Christ by Dr. Twining, Garrison Chaplain at Halifax, and in the personal friendship of that man of God, which he enjoyed uninterruptedly from that time until the day of his death. Under so deep an obliga- tion did he consider himself to Dr. Twining, that he frequently referred to him as his spiritual father ; and to his scriptural preaching and teaching:, and blessed example of "walking with God," may doubtless be traced, under the mighty working of the Holy Spirit, those clear and happy views of religion, and that, consistency and holiness of life, which succeeded his conversion. We learn, from a letter recently quoted,* that from this time his conversion grew daily more deeply spiri- tual, and that he lost no opportunity of attending every public service in Dr. Twining^s church, and his Bible Classes tor officers, soldiers, and those in hospital. His rapid growth in knowledire and srace is mainly attributed to the instruction and profit gained at these classes, by a senior officer in the 97th, \vhose friendship he deeply valued.f A heart so large and loving by nature as thai oi' Hedley Vicars can scarcely accept the open invita- *From Charles Cay, Esq., Assistant^vUrge^H; Cold- stream Guards, late of the 97th. t Lieutenant'Colonel Ingram^ 32 CONVERSION. I I '; tion to come to Jesus for pardon, peace, and eternal life, without giving him an immediate response to the injunction, " Let him that hearelh say, Come," Ac- cordingIy,he began to teach in a Sunday-school, to visit the sick, and to take every opportunity of reading the Scriptures and praying with the men singly. Of three of these, whom he describes as " once great sinners, nearly as bad as myself," he could soon say confident- ly that they had followed him in turning to God. At the same titne he was also the means of awakening some of his brother officers to make the earnest in- quiry, " What must I do to be saved ?" " As he felt he had been much forgiven," writes the friend befjre alluded to, <^so in proportion was the ever-burning and increasnig love to Him whom he had so long grieved by his sins. The na.ne of Jesus was ever on his lips and in his heart. iVluch grace was given him to confess Jesus boldly before others ; and when he was Adjutant, his example and his re- bukes to the men for swearing carried great weight, and showed his zeal fortlie honour of Cod." The Adjutancy of his regiment was oflered to him by his Colonel in the spring of iliat year (1852), with these flattering words : *' Vic;irs, you aret* e man lean best trust with responsibility." This appointment appears to have given uuiviMsal satisfaction amongst otiicers and men, altliouufh one of the odicers remark- ed, jestingly, *' He won't do for it — he is too conscien- tious." This conscientionsi! : s was not only evinced in his military, but also in In- , ;vMte life. Every amuse- ment which he found to he injurious in its effect on his spiritual c mditioii wns ciu'erfully relinquished. In a letter to his eldest sister, he inquires her opinion of balls and other public entertainments, and adds: ^*'I have of late refused every invitation to such amusements, on finding they made me less earnest and prai low a] rmm^ CONVERSION. 33 , and eternal sponse to the 'ome," Ac- !chooI,to visit f reading the y. Of three Teat sinners, ly confident- to God. At awakening earnest in- en," writes tion was the n whom he me of Jesus Much grace fore others; and his le- 3 at weight, 'rnd to him H52), with man I can ^pointment n amongst s remark- conscien- loed in his ry amuse- effect on mqiiished. er opinion nd adds: to such 3s earnest and thoughtful, and indisposed me for reai ing and prayer." We find his growth in grace indicated in the fol- lowing letter: TO MISS VICARS. April 29, 1852. " My Darling Mary — I am going on much in the same manner as usual, with nothing to disturb the even tenor of my way. But no ; I must correct my- self here for 1 trust that I have really turned over a new leaf, and that my heart is gradually but surely undergoing a purifying process. << I have been fighting hard against sin. I mean, not only what the world understands by that term, but against the power of it in my heart ; the conflict has been severe — it is so still ; but I trust, by the help of God, that I shall finally obtain the mastery. What I pray for most constantly is, that I may be enabled to see more clearly the wicked state of my heart by na- ture, and thus to feel my greater need of an Al- mighty Saviour. You cannot imagine what doubts and torments assail my mind at times, how torn and harassed I am by sinful thoughts and want of faith. " You, Mary, can never experience my feelings, for you know not in what a sinful state my lite has been passed. Well may I call myself ' the chief of sinners !' I sometimes even add to my sins, by doubtmg the efficacy of Christ's atonement, and the cleansing power of his precious blood to wash away my suis. Oh, that I could realize to myself more fully that his blood ' cleanseth us from all sin !' " I was always foremost and daring enough in sin. Would that I could show the same spirit in the cause of religion ; would that I felt as little fear of being called and thought to be a Christian, as I used to feel of being enlisted against Christianity ! 34* conviRSiON. '•'iS t M^Dj u ^ Am 1 a soldier of the Cross. A follower of the Lamb ; And shall I fcnr to own his cause Or blush tu speak his name ?> << I trust I am beginning to see and feel the folly and vanity of the world and all its pleasures, and that I have at length entered the strait gate, and am tra- velling the narrow road that leadeth unto eternal life. " I trust you will not consider me a confirmed ego- tist, for writing so much of myself. 1 have done so, because, 1 thought you would like to hear how chang- ed I am becomo. *< I trust, dearest, tiiat your heart has been changed long before mine; was touched. Let us both remem- ber that we can do no gcod thing of ourselves, for it is llie Lord alone who worketli in us both to will and do of his good pleasure. Let us not trust in our own righteousness, which is but as < lilthy rags,' but let us trust entirely in tiie merits and blood of our blessed Saviour. I never can sufliciently show my gratitude to God, who has shown such lonij-sullisring forbear- ance towards me — wlio has spared me tTirough so many scenes of sin and folly. ^^ Summer has begun to change the face of nature, ;ind everything is looking green and lovely. I took ;i delightful walk into the country yesterday evening — the first time I ever enjoyed the blessed sense ol rommunion with God. But when I came home it had all lied, and left me in a disturbed and restless state of mind : my summer heart of warmth and love had chann-ed back into its natural state of winter, cold and dead ! ** I am sorry to say that poor Lieutenant J is in d very precarious state ; even if he recovers, he will never have the use of his leg. I go sometimes to sit uith him, and endeavour to brins: to his mmd the thina's which belong to his everlasting peace. He said to me one day, ^Vicars, tell me, do you really 4 ai b al hi f A' 1 CONVERSION. 35 feel the folly ires, and that and am tra- > eternal life, ti firmed ego- avedone so, how chansr- ^en changed )oth remem- Ives, for it is ) will and do - in our own s,'but let us our blessed ly gratitude ng forbear- through so tJ 1)1 nature, J. I took ay evening Jd sense of ie home it nd restless h and love vinter, cold J is in s, he will imes to sit mmd the ace. He •'ou rcallT/ ^ feel happier now than you did?' Poor fellow ! ho is in a very tlosponding state of mind. << I «reiHMally spend fonr or live hours each day, when not on duty, in reading tli(» Bible, and medita- tion luid prayer, and take a walk every afternoon for a couple of hours. 1 am longing to see you all again, but I do rat know when \ shall be able. Write soon, and tell rie jiow you all are getting on, especially how my darling mother is. h she looking ill? Does she get out every day ? Do not you think that the summer will nuike her better ? Give my fond love to her. I will wiite to her by the next mail, please God. *' Pray for me, and believe me, I never forget to pray for you all. »^How little we do to show our love for that Sa- viour, who agonized on the cross for our sakes. I can- not close my letter better than by beseeching Him to give us his Holy Spirit, to draw our hearts above this world, to look to the Saviour with the eye of faith. '' • When \ survey llio woiidroiisi cross Oil which the Prhiou of Glory died, Myrinhost tftiiii I couiii but loss, Ami pour coiitcni|)t on all my pride. " ' Forbid it, Lord, that I>honId boasr, S3.VC in the cross of Christ iiiv Ood : [All lhi>. viiiu ihiii,<,'s iliat clmnii ine most, I sacrihce ihem to his blood.' " Adieu my dearest Mary; and always remember me as '' Your affectionate and attached brother, ^^ Hedley." To his brother he writes : May 13th, 1852. " * * * Let us pray earnestly for the Holy Spirit; and we shall not be sent empty away. Let 36 CONVERSION. ,i s :, ; : u us ask Him lo show as the selfish state of our hearts. I have found comparatively little trouble in giving up external sins, but the innate sin of my heart, oh, how great it is ! It is here the real battle must be fought, and the more humbling is the sense of our vileness, the more we shall feel the need and value of a Sa- viour. We all have our temptations, and in scarcely any profession could they more beset the Christian beginner, than in the army. " But let us remember, whatever be our callini^-, God has promised that we shall not be tempted above tliat wo are able to boar. Only lot us feel that we are unable ol' ourselves to resist evil, or to do anything good : lot us look to Christ, and trust in Him alone, andtakouponr cross, and follow Him. VV^e must give up the pleasures of the world for they unfit us for spiritual meditation : and although they may be hard to part with, as a right eye or right hand, Ihere is no alternative, if we wish to grow in grace. ••■^ You will, perhaps, be surprised, as you read this letter, at the change which has come over me. Yes, I believe and I feel tliat I am a changed man; that I have taken the important stej) of declaring on whose side I will be. Oh, that I could persuade you to en- rol yourself with me on the side of Jesus Christ ! ""• As Newton says, ^ I know what 1 lie world can do, and what it oannot do.' It cannot give or lake away that peace oi (lod which passeth all nuderstauding. It cannot soothe llie wounded conscience, nor enable us to meet death with comfort. • 1 have tried both services. For twenty-four years have I lived under the tlualdom of sin, led l)y the devil. None need despair of beina' welconiod by the Saviour when he lias ]iardoned and brought to repentance such a sinner as I have been. The retrospect of my past life is now miserable to me ; yet before I was taught by the Spirit of (loel, I. thought and called it a liie of pleasure f The very name, v hen applied to sin, -5 „. f our hearts, in giving up art, oh, how 5t be fought, iir vileness, ue of a Sa- in scarcely e Christian our callino-, ipted above eel that W(^ Jo anything tJiui alone^ We must unfit us for lay be hard mud, ihere ace. •I read this me. Yes, an; that I i'on whose y:race each day !" The same earnest tone pervades all his lotters during the remainder of his residence in Nova Scotia. We iind allusions to coniiicts and difficulties in over- (con life.| stre 1 this! get evei and] life Pan soie uixai ■j^^^'StSSt.'-:. . M CONVERSION. 39 Paul may alone who 3 the knee led under . Christian r. I was It not pre- use. He delighted hiess has, he means Dr Twin- rust, been about the e thought 's are not ughts. i ; grievous Ivation of 3member hat it js lifFerent. brand direful has had ion over id often If the dd have 1 1 kave ! that I letters I Scotia, in over- [cumHig teni})iatiojis and establishing a new course of [Jifie. '' But I know it must be done, and in God's strength it shall be,*" is ever the conclusion. Newton^s '^ Cardiphonia" was a book which at [tliis time aiibrded liim mncli help and consolation : *^ Do send for it, if you have never yet read it. I get great com fori from his letters, for they show that every believer is exposed to the same temptations and trials, in a greater or less degree, and that his life is one of cunlinual warfare. Docs not evc;u St. Paul teJl us iliat he had a constant conllict of con- science against inclination, of the desire to do rio-ht against tiie promptings of evil? I feel with Newton liow poor, and weak., ami simple I am, but that Jesus is wise, and stionu:, and aboundimi' in liTace. He has given me a desire to trust my all in his hands, and he will not disappoint the expectation wliich He has himself raiseil. • • liow 'A\ \\-:\\r <\\\ \\\\:\ Salaii .slrovc Til It lu! li;> •Mini [Xv.'.i liier. uiy God. Hut ( \'ei iustiii;.', is I'iiy love. Aiui .Jf.sii^ S!.'ul.s il \'.-illi his blood.' " A ieilei written by Dr. Twinino- to Captain Vicars' eldest sister, upon receiving tlie intelligence of his death, inay Jiiul its place most appropriately here, as it iiivi"- a <.ketch oi this period of his life : ^' HALIFAX;, May 21, 1855. "_\1y Dcar Lady RAYLEnni — I felt impelled to write to you so soon as I had learned that the Lord ,;had been pleased, in the inscrutable dispensation of his providence, to call my clear and highly- valued JiViend fi'om his service on earth to the fulness of joy ; at his right hand for ever. <• 1 tliank you very much for your letter, written at .a time when vour heart must be wrung with sorrow* c 2 J 40 CONVERSION. I have lonu: perceived in my lu'loved yoniia; friend a rapid ripening for iilor\'. This \vas evident in liis entire devotion of sonl to the Saviour, wlioni he ioved, and that intimate knowledge of the length, and breadth, and depth of the love of Christ which he possessed, it seemed to me, in an increased and in- creasing degree every time I heard from him. Oui- yhort-siglited eyes might see many reasons why lie should be continued in a sphere of usefulness which he so eminently filled aud adorned ;biit we see through a glass darkly : He who has been pleased to say nnto /l^77^, ' Come up higlier,' has condescended to say to ws that all shall be explained when we see lace to face, and know as we are known. < What 1 do thou knowest not now, bnt thou shalt know hereafter, " "You ask me for some details relative to my tiear friend. It affords me a melancholy pleasure to give them, as well because it is tlie wish of those to wiiom he was most dear, as because it recalls the occasions when we took sweet counsel together ami walked as friends. " When r first icnew Captain Vicars he was ' walk- ing according to the course of this world." He had, as he told me, been under strong convictions in the West Indies and attended religious meetings: but trust- iuix iu his own resolutions, and not in the Saviour's strength, he had fallen again under the power of temptation. There was something very attractive in his appearance, and I asked him to meet with a few officers and others at my house to join in reatling the Scriptures, conversation, and prayer. He came at once, and never failed to attend regularly. It was soon evident that he took a deep interest in the matter. He became a teacher in my Sunday-school, and at- tended a Bible class which T had established on Sun- day-evening for soldiers, and another during the week for soldiers' wives ; this he did to encourage the men and women of his regiment to come. He and Mr. t I'. CONVERSION. U ling friend a i'ident in lii.s om lie loved, length, and iiMtry. Of nieniory is >ni lie was rests f]-om l)s5. I en- I ask tlieir my sjglit. ' of grace vcs of my ist, [NIN«;. IV.— DIARY. "Take my heart, Lord, for I cannoi give it to thee. Keep it, for I cannot keep it for thee." St. Al'gustine. From his diary, kept daily with conscientious regu- larity and faithfulness, we give the following brief extracts : ^< July 3, 1852. — Rode out to visit Brnnt, a poor ordnance laborer. Read and prayed with him for nearly an hour. He appears to be very ill, but all his hopes are fixed on Christ. ^^ Sunday, 4th. — Read a chapter of Bogatsky this morning. Unrefreshed after morning prayer. In- structed my class at the Sunday-school. Thoughts wandering during Divine service. Read and prayed with Corporal Cranny, 42nd Regiment, for nearly an hour. A bright specimen of a dying Christian. There were eighteen of us at Dr. Tsvining's class in the evening. ^^ 5th. — Rose at half- past five. Read a chapter in Bogatsky. I feel I am but little advanced as yet. Evil thoughts during the day. Read with Corporal Cranny for about an hour. Would th# I were more like bim ! From not having prayed for God's bless- ing on what I was Qoinor to read, I felt little comfort from it. Did not offer to pray with him, as I was afraid I should break down. Read and prayed with Brunt for an hour. <^'6//i. — Engaged at orderly-room work, and rub- > y\ 44 DIARY. bing-up drill. My mind more at peace than it is generally. I was with Jones for a short time in the evening. I told him I had been to see Cranny and Brunt. I am afraid I did so with the idea that I should be thought well of. I must strive much against self-righteousness. J.et me always endeavour to feel that, havings done all, I am but an unprofitable ser- vant. << Sih. — Prayed rather hurriedly, owing to putting it off too late. Wrote to Mary. Intended to have gone to see Cranny and Brunt, but had not time. At Dr. Twining's class in the evening ; there were sixteen sergeants, two privates, and two women present. Prayed at night about twelve o'clock. ^* 9(h. — Awoke sleepy and dull, but after prayer felt much happier. Lost my temper once or twice with the men. I feel I am unable of myself to do any thing aright. Read Luke xv. with Cranny, and prayed. Afterwards read and prayed with Brunt. In the evening I became unhappy, from thoughts of all my former sins. llth. — In a very happy state of mind after prayer ; still the merest trifles distract my mind. I attended the Temperance Meeting in the evening, when I was (' flighted to see about sixty soldiers of the 97th. I wi-.i the whole regiment would join. <' Sunday 18th. — Went to the Sunday-schooL In the evening, we had sixteen ofiicers and men at the class in the hospital. Went to church afterwards. Text — ^ Create in me a clean heart, O God, and re- new a right spirit within me.' Oh ! do thou grant me this, for Jesus Christ's sake. " '20th. — Arose this morning with no near views of Jesus. Out of temper again to-day. Oh ! I must strive against this. Read with Cranny for half aa hour ; then went to Dr. Twining's class. Two there besides myself. I have forgotten God to-day. Tl to I- « i. 1 1 ■-: ^ DIARY. 45 e than it is lort time in see Cranny B idea that I luch against avour to feel ofitable ser- to putting it o have gone e. At Dr. vere sixteen Jn present. ifter prayer ce or twice lyself to do granny, and vith Brunt. houghts of ter prayer ; I attended •, when I f the 97th. tr hool. In len at the fterwards. if and re- thou grant ear views ! I must )r half an Vo there to-day. i Thoughts wandering in prayer. I must look entirely to Christ, and live out of myself. "'26 lewinir passage might truly Da called the ci eed lUt-tis h( art : ** 1 have got over tome rough ground since I was- DIARY. 49 liiCHS, but the I. tl till eight .''. ]lad not lock, all ow- iiiiy llioiiglits i(-!lmii lo tlio ck. Would It>.sii8 ! How (JM3 111 which I and Nash, for bringing ofhio sins. 0. lh\s of Jesus heart more Jody of .sin I 10 Mic-nnac ig my name conquer this I mv self as cjaculatory talked out oizcther ab- jiist came c IJibJe my and alter mcliased a net a print ra!(^ly did. yet be left ok to-mor- called the nee I was- first led to seek after h.ippinie-s, where alone it can be found, in the religion of Jenus. I have had to battle much against the temptations of the world, the (lesh, and tlie devil ; but thi-ugh often on the point of giving upth(! stru;ighj in despair, the goodness, the long suf- fering, the wondrous loving-kindness of my God have giiJirJed juid watched over me, and kept me from fall- ing utterly away irorn liim. Oh, what cause have I to give liim most humble and henrty thanks for all his goodness towards me. When I look back on my past life, near'y six and twenty years, 1 see nothing but an aceumnlation of trangression and sin. Oh, my' soul, let me remember with disgust and horror that for nearly five and twenty years I was a willing servant of Satan. Wiiat aggravates my wickedness is, that it has been all commitled in 8j)ite of the advice and warnings of a truly Christian mother, and how often I have silenced the voice of conscience. But why dwell any more on a life which has been wasted ? Why bring up the remembrance of sins, each one of which would have murdered my soul had 1 died in the act of eommi.-sion ? I do it that they may hum- ble and proslrcite me in the dust before that holy God who has said, * the soul thatsinneth it shall die.' I ac- knowltjdge, O my (Jod, that hell is only my desert — that weie 1 ever consigned to its abode it would be but a just recompense for my transgressions. Let me ever keep in mind tlnit if I am sn ved it must be entire- ly and solely through Divine meicy in Christ Jesus. Were 1 to be judged according to my works, I should b(\ju.'-tly eoiidemned. But thanks be to God for the gift of his jirecious Word which reveals his wondrous love in sen hng his on!y-begotten Son into the world to die for sinners. I'heio I read that Jesus Christ was crucified for me, that he bore in his body all my Bins — that his blood cleanseth ''rom ail sin — that He has paid the penalty ilue to sin — that He has sa- tisfied God's intense hatred towards sin. Had my "% 50 DIARV. salvation depended upon keeping tlio law, I p^hould be without hope, for I have broken it thousands ot times. But through this man, the Lord Jesus, is preached the forgiveness of sins, and they that believe are justified from all things. Oh, then, let me close with (iod's free offer of salvation to all, ' Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.' Let me look to Christ as my righteousness, sanctilication, and redemption. Let me lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset me, and let me run with patience the race set before me, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of my faith, working out my own salvation with fear and trembling, remem- bering that it is God that worketh in me to will and to do of his good pleasure. I would from this day give up the remainder of my fife to the service of God. I will keep on this diary that I may be able to trace the progress I make in the Christian life, and I will faithfully put down everything. I will draw up some rules to enable me the better to devote some portion of each day to God's service. By these f will be guided while I remain in Halifax." WINTER. " Rise every morning at seven o'clock. Meditate on a text whilst dressing. From eight to nine, read a chapter in the Old Testament, and prayer. From nine to ten, breakfast, and read newspaper, or any light book, carefully avoiding novels. From ten to one, orderly room work. From one to half-past two, a chapter in the Gospels, and prayer. From half-past two to four, orderly room work. From four to six, exer- cise, visiting sick people, etc. Oiler up a short prayer before going to mess, that God would keep me from temptation. After dinner, oiler up a prayer to God first ; then read books of general interest"; and give an hour to my Bible and prayer before going to bed ; and oh, 1 beseech thee, my heavenly Father; to en- DIARY. 51 Iionsands o\ i Jesus, is that believe et me close Believe on ived.' Let ictification, weio-ht and let me run oking unto forking out ?, remem- will and 1 this day ice of God. le to trace and I will V up .some le portion I will be Meditate le, read a 'Vorn nine any light n to one, 't tAvo, a half-past 'i-v, exer- •it prayer me from r to God ^nd give ;■ to bed ; to en- able me thus to devote the remainder of my days to Thee ! May my motto be, ^ Not slothful in business, but fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.' <" November liWi.— Roseat seven o'clock. Medi- tated, wiiilst dressing, on * Ye must be born again.' Oh, how happy I am when I can Jix my thoughts on Jesus ! Much engaged during the day in orderly room work. In the afternoon spoke, for a short time, to Hylyard. Whilst on my way to the mess, thought on that text, < There is therefore now no condem- nation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not alter the flesh but after the Spirit.' During dinner, rather too much given to levity. Gave a dol- lar to a district charity. 1 do not know that I gave it jn a right spirit. I know I look too much to what the world may say of me if I do not give. Oh, that I may do all things with a single eye to the glor}- of God. Evening prayer distracted. Oh, that 1 could shut out the world ; that 1 could banish my own evil heart when at prayer ! How sweet w'ould then be my communion with God ! Read 2 Thess. ii. " November 20lk. — Stayed in bed this morning till twenty minutes past seven. I have broken one of my xxdiis again. I must endeavour to conquer this slothfulness. Read again John viii. What comfort in reading the Saviour's love and compassion, < Go, and sin no more.' Jesus, [ would hear Thy voice saying to me, ^ Go, and sin no more.' My sins have bci^n exceeding great, but they do not exceed Thy love and willingness to pardon. Yet how prone I am to think otherwise. Lord increase ray faith. Read some of Bickersteth's 'Life.' Oh, that I had more of his devotion and love to the Saviour ! I sometimes really doubt whether I believe that Jesus bled ami suH'ered for me ; for although I liave a kmd of belief that He did, yet how small my gratitude and love ; how cold and hard my heart ! 1 have not fthed a tear for months ; in fact, I do not think I ever cried over my sins more than three or four times. ''llf ' 52 D1ARY^ ' « h '41 *^ November Q2nd, — Endeavoured to meditate, whilst dressing:, on * Mj^ soul lonsfeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord : my heart and my flesh crieth out for the livirif^ God.' Ahis, 7n?/ soul, hovtr different it is with theo ! Mr. called to ask me if I w^ould become a district visitor, to which I agreed. Met Dr. Twining, on my return from walk- ing, and told him that Mr. had asked me to be- come a visitor. He disapproved of it, and said that my duly was to devote my spare time to the soldierw of my re^jriment. I feel that I have not been suffi- ciently earnest m this of latf3. Oh, let me start once again in the path of my own Christian duty, labour- ing alone from love to Christ, and praying always for his blessinfr on whatever [may undertake. Let me devote all my energies to the work of endeavouring to bring my fellow-sinners and fellow-soldiers unto Jesus ; and do Thou, my heavenly father, bless my feeble efforts, and make me the means in Thy hands of bringing many from darkness to light. May I ever feel it a glorious privilege to be permitted to raise my voice in the cause of that Saviour whom I have so often rejected and denied ; and !vhen dis- couraged by seeing no good results, let me put faith in Thee, and in Thy word, ' Cast thy bread upon the waters, and thou shalt find it again after many days.' May I never omit earnest prayer for all those in whom I may perceive any sign of grace, and never despair of the hardest-hearted sinner, remembering what I once was. " January Sthy 1853. — Rose at seven. Meditated on the words, < I will hear what God the Lord will speak ; for He will speak peace to his people and to his saints; but let them not turn again to folly/ May I ever, ever be jruided bv the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Let me wait patiently for His outpounng ; then shall I have peace and joy ; my soul shall magnify the Lord, and my spirit shall re- joice in God my Saviour. But, oh, let me beware of h 'fltn DIARY. 53 meditate, yea, even lit and my my soul, lied to ask which I om walk- me to be- said that le soldiem een suffi- start once V^, labonr- ilvraysfor Let me 'avouring iers unto hi OSS my hy hands May I mitted to whom I hen dis- pnt faith upon the ly days.* ^n whom • despair what f • editated 3rd will J and to 3 folly.' ?« of the or His >y ; ray lall re- WQXQ of self-con (icience and security. " Let him that thinketh. he standoth, take heed lest he fall.' *^ Sunrhiy, 9th. — Rose at ten minutes after seven. Text, *[f ye abide in me, and my vvoris abide in you, \e shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.' What comfort, what consolation! O, Jesus, may I ever rest all my hopes on Thee. May I study to please Thoo, and may thy word be my delijrht. Very happy all day. Was enabled to speak freely with the chiidren at the class. They were more attentive than usual, Jesus, I would thank Thee for havinfjf ausweied my petition. I do not re* collect ever beinii: more free from wanderinir thouijhts than on this day. Dr; Twininj^ wrote me a note to say that as lie was not well, he could not come to the class, but re([uested me to attend for him. Read 1 Peter ii., and prayed that God would assist me to ex- pound it to the men. I felt very nervous about pray- int'- '..)fore so many — there beini^ about twenty-four pre' ' and several of my brother ofTicers. God did ass :e, and I was enabled to pray, I trust, from my heart. '- 18^/i. — Spoke to Jackson, of the Grenadiers. I was just kneeling down to pray, when I remembered that this was the class day at Dr. Twininaj's ; hurri- ed down there, and afterwards N and I talked together rather unprofitably, and so the day passed by without a prayer since eight o'cbck ! This, has been the first day, since I made my rules, that I have forgotten to pray at noon as well as at morning and night. O Jesus, forgive me ; and grant that as this is the first, so it may be the last time that I ne- glect to pray to Thee, the hearer and answerer of prayer. '< Q^rd, — • ♦ « Lq,.j Jesus, I would give my- self up to be led by Thee in all things. Give me greater energy and zeal in the performance of mjr temporal duties. Enable me to please my Colonel^ and yet to please Thee. 54 DIAEY. <^ Sunday, April 24tli, 1853. — Heard a very good sermon from ' Wliosoever shall be asliairied of me and my words, of him shall the Son of man be ashamed when He shall come in his own glory, and in his Father's, and of the holy angels.' Oh, does not this but too tndy apply to me ? Am I not often afraid of confessing Christ before men ? O Jesus, make me to care less for the opinion of man, and more, far more, of what Thou thinkest. Went to hear Mr. Maturin at St. Luke's — a very good sermon, and enjoyed it. O Jesus, may the remembrance of my having again approached thy table, and renewed my vows to Thee, cause me to live closer to Thee for the rest of my life ; and do Thou, blessed Spirit, warm this cold heart of mine !" ;il V % a very good lamed of me of man be 'n glory, and ' Oh, does I not often ? O Jesus, 'f man, and t. Went to ood sermon, 'mbrance of nd renewed ier to Thee ssed Spirit, v.—iioMi-:. ' i'.W. \:: I iC k :.Ur<;<'i jTlilHS < f ilCHVt'il cllK; ilUl:l-.\*" 'f in; nTtii huidi.-d in Mn'^kiiul in {hcniontlioi May, 1S53, and \veii1 into [,)<'iiTucks at Walnicr. Shorrly alter ills arrival, lledlc^y Vicars wroi'- the foliowiii!^ ietior, v.iiicli i< cii.iracteristic o! iIk' wariiitli of liis j^-ratiliide for spiriiind bouolil : » TO DR. TWINIXO. "' Walmer F)AiuiA(Ks, June S, 1853. '• M V \ei;y Dkar Da. Twining; — Wlieii J wished yoii larewH^ll from iiie doek of tlie Simoon, I felt tjjai ! wus parlinn" willi my best earthly friend, and aitlioniih liojneward bound, ! never feU uiore trniy depressed. And. oh, what a Sunday! Wliat a contrast tu the hap|)y Sahhaths i had passed for the previous eiiihieeniiionths ! I shall ntn'er forget it. The l;)and on the poop placed lively and profane firs as we saiied out of the harbour. I might have liked it wt^l] enough any other day, but tiien it grated harshly on my ear. iMy thoughts, however, were in tlie garrison chaptd on shore, and I wished that I were sittinr»* in mv old seat, listening to the sound of your yolc.Q proelaimiiiir pardon and peaee through the bl(X)d of the cross. <* Then at the close of the day, instead of our de- liirlilful evening class, whicii we beiran by raising our voices In praise to ou.rdear Redeemer, loud oaths and *^ D 2 . >« I - y y. »-->.-■-, . - -^-. 56 HOME. f imprecalioiis Ml uiicMMsij'.^-iy >»!'• tluv'\ji- ■., (>v.'n \\\ my cii\nn I could not ('sciipi.^ thf sonud of tiicui. 'f'liis was tlic oas'.' every Suis'hiy ^vo were on buind, ex- crnjtiiJir that, wii harl n sliorl srrvicp in tiif lanrnjn^'. We hail ^.(.^llo luiiuh wcathf", l>u1 beiii2" a 2*o(v.! sailur I (lid not ir)ind it. 1 orciipic I liiv^ same calnii willi Burton, and v.'c lind riiany :-;orioi\s couvci.-'ations to- gether on tlie ihinii's ]>e]oni2;"i!V'r !o our (^tovnal pcmoe. lie alwjiys knoll down, uiorn'nn;- and (.•v(Miini>", ih j^rayor to hi.^ (iod, and i liiul ( vciy rensou lo \ah)e )>im as a companion. '^* ] tidnk you ^vcr(; i^-nihv ol" sayiiiL! that [ shouhi proliably fora'ct }(Ui within :i n.ionlli aflr-r 1 loft Hali- fax. Yon never were moie nii.stuken, ff>r 1 can z\>- fsiirc yon I luniM" parted willi any man for Vvlicni I fell a i»-ieat(M- r; ii-nr;! and esteem than yenrself: and 1 often look back v.ilh pu^nsinir recolie'-iions on the many days a]i I months I haA.- p;issed in yonr iaiiii- ly. I cannot c-x'pre--,-. \\\r Ljralitude I feel loward^^ yon, as Ix.'ing tlie instrument in ('od^s liands of in\' c'onv(,M-sion. IMa}' ! [e revrard yon seven-fokL Oh, what would 1 ]K)t .'iive to iiavi^ met you in my earlier years ; ]>ut this periiaps is wrong., for every thinu" is or- dered wisely forns in the cou.nsels ol'Provivtence. I do not belitn'e there is a man iii the regiment who had pinngetl deeper in sin and iid<;nity tlian he who now writes this ag;iiust himseh". 1 was in liie full career of vice wlieii I arrived i'l llahfav. It was your preaclnng, brou'jhl ho-n.iewitli saving power to my heart I'y tlie power oT the Holy Spirit, winch .stopped nn\ anti I;nn, i trust, at l(MiLi-th])rouglii out oi darknessto liizht, and from igiiorance of (lod to aknow- Ied2;e of his wMvs. T look uirm mvself as n monu- nient of (lod's goodness, in that He allowed metnnn for repentanc(\, -.md gavt; me an i.'i>tructor and -jiiide — one wdio was not afraid to confess Christ crucilied, and to preach faithfully the gr(^a1 truths of the (Gos- pel. 1 would thank you, my dear Dr. Twining, from the con sho vail of you trus ver: in I J Hi oUi ray r^ -tr. '>! 1 HOME. 57 -m. rill, bo.'U'd, ex- • ]n(iri)in:»-. i'0(Ml s;iilur :il'iji with •atiojLs to- nal p.'M (''.'. i'eiiin<2-, ill I t(» \ah)o 1 I shoulii !('ft Hali- I can a>- ' v>l;cni f f'lf: and I i> oil the vnv ium'i- '1 louarJ^ Js of in\- -)lcL OIs iy rarlier li.'iu' is or- iel !ce. I lent who 1 he wlio ;!h- In!] it wa> power to t, wliich du out of > a know- a mon li- me ti nit- \id 'jiiid;* rue i lied, :ho (ios- 11^', from ^ the l.u)l!oin of my heart, for al' the good advice and coutisc! you h;ne ^^^"r so kindly ii'iven me. J ear. show my platitude in one wav, and I know you will value it : i have not bent my knees before tlietlirone of ijrace for maiiv a nioiith, without rememberinu' yon, nor .-liall yon ever want my poor pray(»rs. I trust lliat yon maybe made instrnmenlai in tlie eon- vers'on of many more rronls. Conlinue, c/s' ynu have hilherlo dnnn, io know nofhiniz bvl Jesus Christ and Him Ci'in-i/ird, and you must l)C successful. No o!/ic}"pri'(fcf(i'noli on my accouiil. \ our leltors bi(*;itlio such love autl anxiety to sec 1110, ibal I fool ball' incliuod to dosoit I I ** I am (loli;Lilito(l lo iioai' lluit your Jioallh is ^Mod. God crniiit that it luav loiiii" coutiuuo so. I want to know whether you liuil IVoni experieuee tb;i! )'our love lO Christ now is less warm, less palpable to yonrselt than who'u you were lirst eoii\'tnleil i I let^l tbat it ic; so with me — at least that I lia\'o not a 'TU- eiti''cl Saviour ever Lotbvi* me as I tmee iuul : and I do not feel so much anxiety as I once did for the .-onls aroumi me. Then, niiain, at limes, i parley with the tempter by listeninii' to his suii'gestioiis instead of eastiuL!" them frotii me at the onset. But Josiis lied, for me. 1 trust, h\" tlie u;race of (lod, that ib.e devil will never be able to induce me to T( VI ol w 11: Ll 0] h xlUME. 59 il i^aiiiio: bo ■•?(-• lion my iiul an\i(.'tv •1!! Itli is :jiMO(|. I waul ' tliii! yuiu' .)iil])[ii)le to )d ! I let'I not a '/I'u- kI : and J. JV \\iC .^oiils ey with the insloaJ of Jt^'=ius 'lied t the devil, p this pre- ilteiwards. 1 the eveii- 'oetedly at Iteiidiiiii" a iir was one 'ieais, the one of in- Idn' heai^^ siie luai!'^^ aih' his e a clieer- e adviser, at le.'i in-- law. Lord Ciiri,>tian 'V Vicars, .^oi" warm nily. He I inlere^t. Tlio} v/alked and rode together, or he read lo them f'roin liis tavomite authors. Ihil then- nuisic waaj liis ciiiei oMJovrnenl : ill-golden afternoon '• When in the A wuc.^t or lia)»py sister sang, Or here slio bron2:l;t the harp and lUni^ A ijaiiad to the briijjhlenin^ moon. '' Xo;- ie*s it pleased in livolier rnood Beyond tiio houiidinij; hil!? to stray, And break the iivelong snrTiiner day With banfp.iot, in the distant wood.-' tii> --iinshinv temper and biioyant spiilts made him liic idol of' his si--ter*s ehildreii, and endlei-s was the jnmil'er ot" stories which entranced ]n<' young audi- tors in the loiiii' summer t\vihi>'ht or by the ehecrful '.vinter iireside. Stories improvised for the occasion, concerning wandering adventurers in '' foreign parts," or dead lieroes of by-gone wars — leaders of forlorn hopes, who triumphed over unheard of diilicuities, ■ and died amidst unimai'-inable successes. The very sight ol his face semned a signal fur clieerfuhiess. lie walked in the gloriou.i liberty of the sons of (iod, and with the free heart of a child, enjoyed every plea>ine in the gift of wiiicli he could trace his Fa- ther's iiand : yet was tliere still the evidence in his ^^aily life of a chastened and sobered spirit, and of ^IPtiis .-tedfast obedience to his Master's word, ^^ Watch AND i'UAY." With the thankful appro! -ation of the Vicar of Tcriing, whose gifted and faithful ministry he greatly valned, Medley Vicars visited the sick and aged poor , of tl'.e village. They all loved him, but whli the old w iiDon he was an especial favourite. His courteous ii^anners, worn as much for them as if each had been a Qneen Dowager, won his way to their hearts at once, and gained a williiig hearing for the message lie loved to bear. v.. 60 HOME. I ^* Evervwhoro he wns followcMl l>v :ini'('tii)ii and respect, wntos om?, whose i^niLMMul skelcli oi liis hriof liistory has Jilroady appoarmr many Christians (U^prive themselves ■of much real bcneiii and assistance bv wilhholdiniif commuinon with each (»l]ier. We cannot expect to reach ])t;rfeclion in riu-hteousness, dearest Mary ; but, whilst huird)linu' ourstdves in the dust for our maid- ~ fold iniipiities, let ns often, by counscd and persua- sion, nri>-e each other to put on a cheerful courasfe, and to run with patience the race sf.-t before i\<', never for.!:>'e1tini^' to look to Jesus, the Alpha a.nd Omeya of our hopes. ••'' Oh, that we all felt more de!iij;-ht in speakinir of the nidtoiuided love of ilim who was crucified for us I T.et us always (^ndea\()ur to be lookinir for the cominci' of Christ Jesns : and then wlien lb* does come in the clond.s. v/ith the q'lory and majesty of a sovrM-eJLni, we shall be found amongst them who lovi? His app(.'arii!u". <"• O mv swf '.'t sister, what are we that God should siuijfle us out fVom the millions that an; still jivinij without Tlmi in the ^vor]d ; that He sliould cause us t believe the precious truths revealed in the (iospel of his dear Son, which are foolishness to the natural man, but to us (and to all believers) are the wisdom of God and the power of (lod. L( 1 us pray often for each other. The allin'tion that prompts to this is love ind(»ed. ^^ My lov(^ to all. Clara and Edward arc at Chob- ham, I suppose. Tell Clara, she cannot feel more sorry than I am, that I could not net leave to be able H-2 to lllfCl lOVL", thi (•'(.* lock lo (jI ill PaiK iii Ciini »j J il s rii iJOME. her tlnnv. 'IV.'ll Loul .KaylciLili, wiili my i1 I s«.'iil my ^rooiii oil' this moniiii'i at >i.\ lor llio inaic, Jiiul will wj'ilu when >[ioc(jni<'.s, in kiHJW how I like hor. ' Ever, my ilarliiiL;' liltio sister, "- V'oui most attacliCMl hrotlioi'. 1Ii;i)jj:\ \ icai -1 17th. »• • * *' 1 thiuh you wouk! lauuh if vou saw me ill my boll tout, sittiiiij^' on a camp stool, al a box witli Jour Ici^s to r('])iesoiit a table. The Inniiliiro oi' my yooni consists o(' a. camp l)e(lstea(l, poitiuaiilean, ioul tub. "• 1 have plenty of straw, but it is rather moiihly ! My servant encleavonrecl to i^'et up a small "iardeii in iVont, but I fear tlie shrubs must hav(3 been minus rooti;, for they seem in a very sickly 6tat(3, as it the soil of Ciiobliam ditl not aL>-ree with them ! ^"'I spent a very pleasant day on Thursday. Un- cle Edward* i^-ave me a ticket ibr the Naval llcn'iew at Spithead. 1 went, with about two hundred oliieers from tluj Camp. We liatl a Jari^e steamer to our- selves, and consequently were able to sec; everytiiino-. It Vv'as a very grand and imposini>' spectacie : but you have seen the whoh3 account in the papers, so I wiU not describe it. "• Tlu; Camp is to be broken up next Satnnla}', wlien we are to proceed to Cant(3rbury. I sludl not be sorry to be once more settled in (quarters, as I find it difficidt in this place to obtain those seasons of re- tirement for holding communion with my heavenly * Colonel Vicars, R.E., who commanded the Engineers at Chobham. • '"vr-- HOME. 63 Kalher, which are so nocesi^ury to tlie keeping alive of religion in the soul." In tli(; month ot" Aiignst, not without regret, he re- sigiujd the Adjutancy ol" his regiment, in consecjuence of circumstances which need not be mentioned here. Ffis best friends not only fully justified him in taking this step, but valued him the more for the reasons which led to it. Fn the following letter, he alludes briefly to his painful feehngs on this occasion: TO HIS MOTHER. "August, 1854. " My Dearest Mother — * * * I reiriem' vir well the unenviable state of my loelrugc^. Avijlst stretched on the straw, with nothing to diitarb me but the tramp of the sentry in front of my touj do(^r, I fancied myself deserted by every one, evcu by my God. 1 cannot tell you what I huiiercd tiieiL At last I thought, •• Oh, for some Chri;^ti;ui fiieiui to con- verse with me !' Just then I heard a voi' e anyin^;', 'Mr. Vicars, are you at home?' I jumped up^ and saw a Mr. Rigby, a home missionjiry., sA'hoiJi I had seen in the tent on Sundays. I invited hiio in, and we sat side by side on the straw for r.iorc tliait an hour, conversing on those delightfiil sabjeclS; the Sinner's Friend and the Christian's Ilonie. Oh, the comfort of meeting with a child of God, when Sc'nn has been assaulting you and tempting you to despair I We knelt on the around, and leaniiiiz against tiie tent-pole, prayed together. \Vh' 1 a sootliing mfiu- ence has prayer over the soul ! But il is ihc Holy Spirit who prompts us ; and to Tlvm be all the glory. " A Christian has certainly his moments of bitter- ness and anguish ; but I v/ouid not change even these for the world's momeiits of jollity and mirth. The fomier generally precede happy hours of peace and calm ; and the latter, I know, end in trouble and re- morse. r i,i. .; ^.• i: =:■ ^ $ 64 HOME. '''Tis religion that can ^.ive Sweetest pleasures whilst we live; 'Tis reliiiinri must supply Solid comfort when we tile/ " VVhon on jjiiard I was struck with a proof that God is no respocter of p;)rsons, and has his own peo- ple in every class. 1 saw two miserable, wretched- iookinii!: men, piekin«]: Uj) pieces of rair, as I thonght, in front of the <:^uard tents ; after they had collected several, they sat dovrn. I went to them, and found they were col lectin jr bits of meat Jind biscuit, which had been tin-own away by the men after their dinner, and were cover(;d with (brt. These they ate raven- ously, r i^ot them som(? dean meat and a loaf of bread; and conversed witti them for about ten mi- nutes. "They seemed surprised at an ofRoer, in 'such fine clothes,' talkins: to them about Christ. One of them had been a stoker on a railway, who had been run over by a train which had smashed his foot and hand. Yet he could talk with delight of the mercy of God his Saviour, and ot his <:?oodness and forbear- ance. Who knows but that I may meet and re- cognise those poor fellows in heaven ? " We started from camp on Saturday morning at five o'clock, and marched to Working station, distant about five miles from Chobham. During ahalf hour's halt on the road, I fell to nutting, as nuts were plentiful in the hedges, and back went my thoughts to the days of my boyhood. '* We are now ([uartered at Canterbury. On Sun- day evening I went to Mr. Lee Warner's church, and heard a beautiful sermon, from ' Enoch walked with God, and was not, for God took him.' A brother of- ficer of mine told me that he had went to a church which waa decked out just like a Roman Catholic chapel,andthe minister,in urging the necessity of good works, stated that they, and they alone, could bring a HOME. 65 man peace of mind at the last. The name of Jesua was only mentioneri on(5(3. It is .crrievous that those who preach * another jrospel' ((yal. i. 8) should be permitted to remain in the Church, to mi^'^iiide and deceive. Let ns tliaiik God that we have not so lear- ned Christ ; and that instead of triistinjr to, or attach- in:^ any deijree of mjrit to our own rin^hteo!i«»ties8, which is bnt as fiUhy rai^s, we can look to .Tesna as our wisdf)ni, righteousness, sanctification, and redemp- tion." A short leave in Septtnnher enabled him to spend a few days with his mother at Soullnmd. Those daya were chiefly passed on the water, whore he exercised the somewhat renowoo i prowess of his strong; arm in rowiruj, whilst his mother accompanied him in the boat, and they took sweet counsel toi^ether. Well does she love to linj^er in saddened remembrance over those hours of delight,which can return to her on earth no more for ever. TO HIS MOTHER. "My Dauung MoTiiEii — I left you yesterday with no slight feehufjs of reijret, as you mij^ht easily ima- gine if you had ever be3n a son. I airree with C, that there is but little of Hhe real thinfj' in the world, and therefore a man values a rzother^s love the more. " At the railway station I met two of my brother offi- cers returning from leave, to rejoin the reojiment. We had the carriage to ourselves, and I occupied myself in reading Hugh White's * Sermons on the Second Ad- vent.' I hesitated to bring it out for some time, lest they should ask me what I wasreadmg, but overcame At last this wretched false shame. I suppose they guessed pretty well what sort of a book I had in hand, and so went off to sleep without taking tlie trouble to inquire. " Cay came to my room at night, and we had a pleasant conversation, together. We read Roman* • I * Ml 66 HOME, viii., and prayed. 1 felt very happy Ihon : but after he left, about eleven o'clock, I fell a^rjleep whilst pray- ing by myself. I know my Saviour has forgiven me ; but I really cannot w^ell forgive myself, and feel much pain at the recollection of my slothfulncss and irreverence. When I awoke this morning I was en- abled to pray fervently for you, dearest mother, and for Clara, Mary, Georgie, and Edward, individually. I know no greater happiness than that which earnest prayer brings to the heart, when, undisturbed by wandering thoughts, we can behold our crucified Redeemer, and hear his voice pleading for us before the mercy-seat. " To-day I called on Captain Ingram, and enjoyed a walk with him. He is a truly Christian man. I have just been reading Haweis' < Spiritual Compan- ion to the Lord's Supper.' I have not partaken of that blessed feast since I was at Terling, but trust to do so next Sunday, please God. May that holy sa- crament call to my mind in more vivid remembrance the great evil of sin ; for never was it seen so forcibly as when written in a Saviour's agony and bloody sweat, and in his cross and passion." TO LADY RAYLEiail. '^ There is much in the signs of the times to make ns believe that the Redeemer's advent is near. It may be we shall not taste of death, but be caught up to meet the Lord in the air. Beloved sister, let us live in hourly expectation of that solemn yet joyful event. Let us judge of our own state by the happiness the thought gives us, and not rest satisfied until the lan- guage of oar hearts shall be, -e: a mini o' considerable intellectual cultivation, niqnijing afler truth, bnt fet- tered by a long habit oi ^cc plicisrn. I 'or him the singleness, lione.sty, and t'tNVour of IIvMl'oy Vicjirs' chanictcr had a pecuiiar charm. Tlu; lew strong, earnest words which he s:tid in exp'afi;iti;)n ol a pass- age of Scrintme, and tlie liinplicity and ifji'ity ol his prayer, j^r.iduiu'd an im|)re>sion whii'h wjis never efiac(3d, ariil was(hM pened by (;v;;ry snc-ccMuli i;r visit. Aiter the seli(K)!ro( rn se vice. Ik; add't'.-siid and prayed witli scveinl Ihii v\a, men, ll en woiking at the Crystal Palace gKJunds, who assembled ior a i me FRIENDSHIP. 69 *< cottage readin;^" every Sunday evenin^^, and con- ducted the little seivice with them on the following evenin«T in the servants' iiall at the Rectory. The next day he went to read and pray with a Roman Catholic who was then seriously ill, and saw him again, once or oftener, on each succeeding visit to us. Not many weeks after the new^sof Captain Vicars' death had spread a geniMal sorrow over Beckenham, this man expressed a wish to attend one of the even- ing cottago readings. " 1 have thought so much of the Bible," he said, " since Captain Vicars told mo what it was to him, and how those words about the blood of the Lord Jesus gave him peace." On the day just referred to, he met at dinner a young naval officer, who was then at the outset of his Christian course. It seemed to be the easiest thing possible for Heilley Vicars to fall in with the current of those first fresh feelings, and to show where lay the rocks and quicksands to be avoided. The union of becoming seriousness with perfect ease and simpli- city in this religious conversation seldom failed to en- gage the in1ere^t of those who met him. His genu- ine humility, combined, as it was, with manly frank- ness and a cheerful, spirited address, gave a charm to all that he said. 15ut the thing which distinguished him from the generality ev«Mi oi other Christians, wa^j the close, personal, Iriendlike knowledge he possessed of his Saviour. '"Some of his expressions, in convcMsation and corrosponderiee," remarked one of his friends, "almost stiiitleil me into the itifjuirv — Is it only a difference in (lei>;ree, or wholly a diflference in kind, from these faint |)riiyers of mine, when he speaks as if he had not only spoken to his Saviour, but had been nn^wered back again by a living friend ?" Before his next visit to us, we met him several times in London. There we found him teachmg in • I t-'. •• . * ro FRIENDSHIP •»• Lord Slmftesbiiry's Ragged Schools, visiting repent- ant thieves, and diving into the depths of nietropoU- tan wretchedness with city missionaries. Love to the crucified Saviour, who had loved him and given Himself for him, constrained this young soldier of Christ to consecrate every power as a living sacrifice to God. The sense of duty, always strong, doubly so in his renewed nature, seemed again almost lost in his high and deep sense of the privilege of such a service, and in a yearning desire to bring others to rejoice with himself in a free pardon through the blood of the Lamb. TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER. " Much do I wish that I liad taken more advan- tage of our being together to have spoken to you on the great subject. What I want is to persuade you that there is reality in religion, and that true happi- ness is to be found in it, and in it alone. Give your heart to Christ, my darling sister, and you will never repent your choice. Let us pray earnestly that we may be delivered from the power of sin, that our evil tempers may be mortified and subdued, and that we may more closely resemble our Redeemer. » * * *^ When I left you, or rather you left me, I pro- ceeded to search for the London Reformatory for Thieves, in Smith-street, Westminster ; and after going through it, I offered to pay a few words to the inmates about the Saviour of sinners. Just then, however, their attendance was required at a public meeting, which was opened by Lord Shaftesbury. Their ' halP is but a small one, so not many people could be present. The reformed thieves numbered about a hundred and twenty. I must say that I felt strongly inclined to make a muff of myself when they sang the anthem, * I will arise and go to my Father.' When they had finished, I was obliged to leave, not to lose the train.'' j*'ai|. FRIENDSHIP. 71 3pent- opoli- ove to lier of orifice ibly so lost in 5uch a lers to h the idvan- ^ou on -le you happi- e your I never lat we ur evil [lat we * « I pro- )ry for 1 after to the then, public isbury. people fibered I felt when to my [red to V' Soon after his flecond vi^it to ns, I received the fol- lowing letter : "Terung-Plack, December 15. '* My Dear Friend — In answer to your knict and eucournginn: letter, i cannot begin otherwise than by thanking Him * who orderuth all things,' for his good- ness in having so providentially led me to Torling at the time you were there, and thus a friendship was formed which, I trust, will last for ever. In everv blessing I receive, 1 would raise my heart in grati- tude and praise to that Cod who has poured such mer- cies upon me. **In tliis, my first letter to you, 1 would be candid and unreserved. I do not wish to be thought better than I am, but rather desire to be looked upon as but a young' soldier in Christ, When I bring to remem- brance the years 1 have spent in sin, when f gloried in being the ringleader in every species of dissipa- tion and folly, the thought h.is struck me that it were presumptuous in me now to rank myself amongst the followers of tiie Lamb. But in doing so, I would only conceal my unworthiness in the spotless robe of my Redeemer's perfect righteoui?ness. " Notwithstantiing the advantages of Christian ed- ucation and godly parents, the dictates of reason and the remorse of cotihcience, I lived for many years in total forgetful ness of a dcalh-bed and a jutlgment day. But that God, who might j-o jnslly have cut mo ofi in the full career of rebellion, at length (and oh ! how feebly can I express my sense of his gooifness) opened my eyes ; and that htuhborn heart, which nei- ther the terrors of hell could deter, nor thu wrath of God restrain from recklessly pursuing the path of de- struction, He softened aid chanued by showing mj the love and tenderness I was despising and tramp- ling under (i)ot. I can never forge t the intensity >)f my leelings when fir&t I saw my Saviour on the cross, •• • ' >i 72 FRIENDSHIP. ,. J nor llio llooil of joy which UwY^i iii upon my sfoul vvliou [ read in his (lowing blood full pardon lor all that was pa«t. *" Years hav«? gone by since then, but I have been preserved by Ids grace and kept by his power i'rorn laHinu,- away, and thus dishonoring the Christian pro- fession. 1 need scarcely l(dl you that I have never had cause to repent the transfer of my allegiance from the Destroyer to the Saviour of men. Surely, Jiaving b«!en forgiven so much I ought to love much, and unite with others i.mudcing known the Redeem- er's love to those who are ignorant and out of the way. And what a balm tor the weary and heavy laden, what a cure for the guihy is offered alike to all in the Gospel of Christ ! And oh, what a glorious truth when brought home to tluj anxious heart by the Holy Spirit — what a swx^et and precious doctrnie is there set forth ! Full and free forgiveness, perfect ac- ceptance and assured reconciliation with God; and this already effected by Divine mercy^, and sealed with the sufTeriniTs and death of the Son of (iod. * ** Mr. ^s letter delighted me much. I thank (iod for the good wjrk which lias been so evidently L>egun ill his heart. (Oh that every soldier and sai- lor knew the love of Christ !) I have already prayed for him more than once, and trust that the oftener I do so the more fervent may be my petitions. Such wonderful answers as )'ou have had to prayer for tho souls of others will, I trust, lead me (and you too) more fre(iuently to the Tlirone of Grace, ami to rely more implicitly upon the promise of Him whochang- eth not. * If any two of you shall agree upon earth touching anything that ye shall ask, it shall be grant- ed you of my Father which is in heaven.' ^" My leave is rapidly drawing to a close ; on tho 31st [ rejoin my regiment. Perhaps we shall not meet for a long time, l^e this as it may, I can never forget my friends at Beckenhnm, nor the happy days f have spent with them. '^ FRIENDSHIP. 73 *' 1 shall have much pleasure in callitiir on Major Halkett as soon as 1 uni at Canterbury. The Triaini- script account of Dr. Keeve's illness aiul death I will leave at Miss Leycestor's as 1 pass throuiiniliar import. 'J'lie park ami \\\o views from it av(j beaut Uni. We diovi'back weji pleasrvl w itk one visit. Oil Tiini'sdav I was diniii'i" witli ;i n ic amiiy lour miles irom Caiiterlxuy, and met a hu-ii-e ]iarty I noticed oppr>sil(» tome ;i very pleasiinl-lookin^' fel- low, ami \v;i.'^ slnir-k witli l!is(pii<'t, eairn manner and countenance. *• A!t(M' we had adjourned to the drawing-roian, I askeil him il he Indoji^tHl to th<^ Army pray«n--nnion? and when he said,' Ves/ we became fricMids at once. Il(; >a'u[ 'There is a man in the 97th whom I want to know : his nae.ie is Vicars.* [ replied: There - is a jiiau ill tlie Uille liriuade wliom I want to know: it IS ('apt iin !l mnuom 1, AV e were at eac li otl ler's service '' On Saturday lie came lo call npon me, and stayed for some lime. He is a deiiiilitful fellow. 1 sent for Cfl-V, and wi» had a, happy time of oinmnnion to- 'jether. * * * It is a i'reat hlessitm' having- such a hrothei' oiiic(M- as Cay. lie is one of a thonsnnd. We olteii walk tog-etlier, and he g(Mierally coim\s up to my barruck-room after mess, and we read the Bi- ble, cnnvinse ab«.ul heavenly things, and end in. prayer.-' ^ Captniii Ma\in)iliaii irammond. Rille Briijade. This braveaiul Christiari yoiniir (n'ii"er fell in the Redan, whilst " makinij a pathway for his men.'' in tliri fnial assault on Sel)astopol, September 8, 18o5 — honored and helovt-d by all who knew liinj. Faillil'ul unto death, in the service ol the King ol" kinszs, as in his duty to his Queen and country, he has received., we doubt not, a crown of glory which fadeth not away. E 2 •I « '^1.:'!^ I' « *: 76 FlUEMIsmi' .a **My Dkau l''Mn:\i> — As iirs lasl limiirJ noU- vv.i> iiiilfMvl but <'i pocr ;ip('!()Lj\ loi ;i Icllci'. i imi.-i wntp .\. ki' low iiiuvs l()-i'ii\'. * 'I'lu^v tli;it {"(^irrd liif LonI s[nii ofttMi one to Miiotlicr ; ami wliiil liinc iikmc liiti:i!^- ninl \v: v:\V('( t an.' i)-)i ro; riat(Mii \\hi<'li to ^-xprcss the llioa^-liis r,!' i lic'juts lowan Is ,1 J icfrcshiiiu" (-'HJ(-\ iiicri! ol his day i Kor \\li« u i' the frao'iMiit clew ol his llolv Spirit |u>uie-hir!ii, and llnne is non(» that jiassf's away so (jniekiy. I r;'C' Meet, that lorse\eral months, the only inward sanctif'yniii' proof [ eonld, o'l (ex- amination, hrini*' to assure mysell" that 1 had iude'-d been made an 'lieir ut" CMirist,- was Ijiis loin:in;Li,' «'nii()ii fM»jn the woiii?', • Piii ye (ioii lor tin* llc-li, lo mliil the \\\>\> tlicrco)':* inul mu'.'um in tiic I'vciiiirj-, -.viioa IVlr. I.(M' Wjiriicr prciu'licd him-i powiM'l' Oly on tlu? texl. * I know llial inx KoJcciiirr livctli. .uul lliai Ho shall slaint in llic lalliM- 'la) upon ]!•'• cailli, ami thoMu'li aflcr my skui. wonn> drslioy iliis IkmIv. y«'f. in my llc"--h shall I soo (ioil, whom 1 shall .<»•«' for mysclt", and mine «'yf's shall hcliold. and nol anotluT.' Is it nol a womh-rfnl prophccv ' and liow nvcrilow- inL!" \\illi I'omtort ami i-onsola' •- i tor ns. With <[\r.\\ a hriiihl \ision nnloldcd to tho i'u'ht'Vi?r, Inc '•t'a))livo evih? may well iinstcn to be Iroc' ** 1 met Major llalkflt, nn oomiiiLi' on! ol' ctnirci), und ^V(' \\i\ Iked I inmc loo'dlhri- i had a \ ciy j)l(,'j'i>anf conveisation with him. Ilr sueins lo haxc ih(» i-an- ol Christ at hfarl, ami lo be anxious to know jnore of iho Savioiii', cxnciiiiH'ntallx'. Ih* a^ktnl mo to drink lea with hiii tl 10 liraw ]\]i>. llalkcit lor she was ill when I caileii. Wo I like ih-'in sp'Mit a happy and piohlablr cvoi.iiiu', both \>My mnch. "• r lahl a (hdiuihtlnl v'on\LM'.-.atioii a tt.'w (lays a-j^o Willi a yon nii- corporal who loi! my C'ompan\ a short time smcr 1I(>1 la: t(»en, lui nea rly tl lire Ncars, a. consi>lont Ibllowor of Ciiri.^t : and I am proiid to say lie is still ' Iij2-}itin2" the good li-jht <>f faith.* Hut wo must expect to liavo the hilter as well as the sireet. I ;j;Ti(*v<' to sny that one, of whom I had ureal liopos, has deseited his colours, and iione back — poor fellow, f deeply pity him ! I trust it may prove a warninfi" lesson to me, to watcli and pray more constant iy and. ierventls , and 'take heed,* lest F also fall. But will never "ive up any inan — Jesus did nn\ oive we up — and r lioix' and ;('>ok to his beino" brouiyiit back to the fold. >i I i 9 « ! 78 rrjENDSHii'. i!!'i " Whai you >v,u\ in yorvlctti'r about ,-pin"tii«i: pritlc, 1 feel 10 bo very apiujcable to uiyseil" at liHio,> : but whon ] .im -;(> itn'IiiKsl to ibip't z/7to arul whiit I am, I einleavoiir to iiiiaLMiio llio .^^iiincr stain li iiii" .//o/;/.', \viti:onl a Saxioui. ami without llic Holy (i]io>t ; ami the iiii^ciabif. wrotehi'd tlioiiu'ht (jiiiekly makes me to know aiul 1" r< e! my niter vih.Miess and weakness ! " fJiM' ivi\' ( hii>!iaii love to all ; aiul * Now our T.ortl Jesus Chri-l Him>e!i ami (iod, even our Taljier, wiiich hath lo^'(.'(l lis, and has L!-iv(Mi us ('\(M'Iastin<:^ balvatioii, and 'jnoil liope tlironii-li '^riu'.i\ conijor/ i/our hear!, and slai'li-i) yon in ever) liood w«)i'd and work." '• Kvcr yoni' do* ply-ii'!"ale!nj and sincere jiieud, •• 11 Kl)l.i:\ \ M Alls.'"" Early ni Febniiiry lie rei-eivcii intelligence ol llie alarminj!' illiies>ot Idsunele, ("oloncd Mdv-.ard Viears, R.K.. at (iibraltar. Ite was on liis way out to the Eaoual inconvenience, inunediatidy accepted the pro[)o>iiion to uo in her ()lace, and ieil I'lniiland witinn a tew hour,- ot' oh- lairiiiiii l<'ave iVom his colonel. From hrmsf'lf we should ucner liave learnt how much of iujipand condbrt, physicali}' and >j)irilually, lie .diorded to the >nl[(ering inv.alid ; thouiih in every letter lie expressed ids admiration and resj)e(.'t for the heroic lortitude, and patient, thanklul spirit, with vdiicli Colonel Vicars bore his iiKirtifying disappoint- ment and heavv adliction. » ^ ■<, •-* . •-* • - _ • '^ *■»„ 4 ^ • t ' •• • M FRIENDSHIP. TO HIS MOTHER. <<(iiBU\LTAU, Keb. lllh. <' On fjoard a Coal Hulk. *' Deaukst Mother — Wvw \ ;irn, thank (iod, safe aadsnuml; but, ahis! in QuaiJiiiUiic for hcvcu diiys. I saiitnl on tiw afternoon of tin; 4th, and had a pros- perons voy:!ir^^ Jiinl most doIiLrhtfiil vvcathf^r. I was in hojws 1 nlionlcl have had a cabin to mysoif, but in this ! wasdi^Mpnointod, [iavifi;L!: h(.'('n (!oiil)l('d np with two cadcMs u, ii c liahi. imha Company's Sc'ivi(u;. At first I was fitroni,dy uudiiKMl tf» avoid lh(^ rcj^oach o\' the Cross, and not to niaUc* a mnrk (»f niysidf l)v kneoUni^ down, or readiii^^my Bible ni their ])resence, before rt^tiring- lo rest. Hnt (lod i!:ave me i;rac(* to overcome this. StilJ it shows me what a eowiinl I am, that I should, even for an instant, lie tempted to hide my eoh)nrs, and ashamed to confess Christ. ** My usual and favourite liour f(jr mcMlitation was after all the rest liad turned into their berths, when, with none en deck but th" oliicer of the vvaleh and the steersman, I could walk and tliink imdisliirbed. We had fine moonlii»ht niv ^\^^ <° '^ I 1 « \ i t..t i A Wo\ ' 1 ■! r i;: If ii (It- F " *" ^ ii-;i . :l 90 THE WAR. << Remember me most kindly to Gregory, Wood, Wakefield, and Dibley, and all my friends among the navvies. May the Lord give them grace to fol- low after the things that make for their peace, and to ^ fear not the reproach of men, neither to be afraid of their revilings.' I remember them nil in my pray- ers. Oh, may they all hold on to the end !* Do tell them that I value their prayers more than I can ex- press, and give them my best wishes for their inter- ests, both temporal and spiritual. I shall probably see them no more on earth, as we are daily expect- ing our final orders." But these final orders were not given until sevea weeks later, weeks of no common value to those who loved him. During this period, an interest and a hope which, for some time past, he had felt it to be his duty to re- press, revived with an earnestness and brightness which cast a new colouring over his views of an earthly future, and in a measure effaced the impres- sion that he should not live to retum home. Pre- cious as his life had ever been to others, it now be- came of double value, for it belonged, not to his friends alone — not to his mother and his family alone — but to one whose early affection was entirely his, and whose spirit was of kindred quality. The hope of returning to claim her as his own for ever, was very near his heart, and throughout the long months of his last miserable winter before Se- bastopol, had no unimportant influence in keeping his spirit bright and strong. His earthly love was not the less deep and fervent, because it was subor- dinate to a love yet higher. As he was quartered, in the months of April and * Thomas Dibley, navvy, late of the Army Works^ Corps, died of cholera in the Crimea, August 28th, 1855. By the grace of God he did •' hold on to the end." \^ :i .! i t 1 THl WAR. 91' May, at Kensington Barracks, he wag able to attend several of the Meetings held by the religious Socie- ties in Exeter Hall. His heart was world-wide, and, as a necessary conseqaence, it was his earnest desire that the religion which had so expanded his natural powers of loving, and which was the spring of his own joy, should be spread over the earth, by means of Bible and Missionary Associations. To his social nature, also, the meeting with many Christian bro- thers was a peculiar joy ; and at this time he formed several strong personal friendships, which did not cease when he left the country. That he won no common love from those who knew him, even slightly, may be gathered from the fact that he was prayed for, by name, at nine weekly prayer-meetings for the army, in England and Scot- land, from the day of their commencement to the day of his death. TO HIS YOUNGEST SISTER- " I trust you had a happy Easter Sunday. It is the ' day of days,' on which, above all others, we should rejoice and be glad. On this day the Lord of Glory rose from the grave — He who was crowned with thorns, and nailed to the fearful cross — Jesus, the suffering, dying Lamb of God. His agonies are ended — He is risen, He is risen ! Think not then of your past sins, except that you may love Christ more tor having forgiven you so much. They are all bu- ried in His sepulchre ; that streaming blood proclaims your soul's redemption. ii I The happy morn is come, Triumphant o'er the grave;, The Saviour leaves the tomb, Omnipotent to save. <* ' Christ has the ransom paid ; The glorious work is done ; On Him our help is laid, By Him our victory won. F 2 •V; if *v i^ fi > ^■ ■ ' I Mil J2 THE WAR. l^*l! " * Who now accuses them For whom their Surety died ? Who now shall those condemn Whom God hath justified !' j» "Believe in this power of Jesus to save and help you. Dwell much in your thoughts upon His cha- racter. You must seek for Him as for hid treasure, and remember His words, * Those that seek me early shall find me.' " I want you, my darling Georgie, to give up your heart entirely to Christ Jesus your Redeemer. His love is beyond the power of words to express, and He is willing to pardor .abundantly. We need, in- deed, many gifts and graces before we shall be per- fect in Christ Jesus, but, as St. Paul says, ' My Gcd shall supply all your need, according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.' It is of no use to complain of our wants, unless we go to have them supplied, and we should not only pray to be delivei'ed from the temporal and eternal consequences of sin, but for power to burst asunder each remaining link of its fet- ters ; for strength to fight against pride, vanity, anger, self-righteousness, and everything which we know to be contrary to the will of our blessed Redeemer ; and dearest sister, may we both grow daily in love and joy and peace, in tenderness of conscience and purity of heart." TO MRS. OVENS. " My very Dear Friend — God bless you for that kind and cheering letter, and also for your prayers, which I value more than I can express. As but a poor return, whilst I live, you shall have mine. May your heart, dear friend, be ever warmed and glad- dened by the bright sunshine of a Saviour's pre- sence. You know (and every believer in Christ can testify to it) that there is no delight in this world equal to that which is felt when the Saviour is near* •Surely we have both great cause to THE WAR. 93 " ' Praise God, from whom all blessings flow.* for his distinguishing love and mercy in singling us out, and condescending to dwell in our hearts, whilst so many who are no greater sinners than we are ^ are living without God in the world.' " ' Grace, 'lis a charminfir sound, Harmonious to tho ear.' '^ God grant that both our hearts may he Jilled with. Christ, and whilst ' with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord,' may we ' be changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.' ^ Looking unto Jesus' is after all, the grand secret for keeping alive a love for holiness in the heart, and Ta longing for a more con- stant and close communion v/ith our Heavenly Father. ^' I returned from a short visit to Dr. Marsh last Thursday ; truly that place is *• a little heaven below.' I enjoyed the short time 1 spent there very much, and w^as greatly refreshed by the many proofs 1 ob- served of real conversion to God from among the poor navvies employed in the Crystal Palace. What en- couragement for us, dear friend, to be also zealous and active in the cause of our blessed Redeemer! One of the army missionaries employed by the ' Sol- diers' Friend Society' called upon me last Monday with several Testaments (the men cannot take Bibles in their knapsacks) for the soldiers of the 97th Regi- ment. Would you mind asking your tiusband to make it known amDug his Christian friends that there is such a society ? The men are very grateful for the great interest which is being taken in their eter- nal welfare. Who can say but that many a poor fel- low, even after the whistling bullet has brought the summons, ^ Prepare'to meet thy God,' may be brought .to < look unto Jesus,' and thus be saved by a message Iff ¥i . i . ■ ■ 3 ■ ■'i ■• .t "I 'ii , "'I I I ■' ;'f! X \: . » * 1 « 5H>' ■i>.Jf'!!i: 'f: 94. TMB WAR. of peace given him through those Testaments? — There is yet nothing known positively about the movements of my regiment, but it is said that we are soon to move to the Tower prior to our departure for the seat of war. I was much cheered the day be- fore yesterday by a conversation which I had with two soldiers of the 97lh, who began to follow the Lord Jesus about the same time as I did ; they are both, thank God, walking in his ways, and, like good isoldiers of Christ, are fighting the Lord's battles against all his lees. I trust, dear friend, that when I return (if I ever do return), I may have an opportu- nity of paying you a visit. I am sure nothing would give me greater pleasure. Remember me most kindly to your husband, and believe me ever ^^ Your grateful and sincere friend, "Hedley Vicars." One day when we were in London, I happened to meet him when on my way to a hospital to see a sick navvy, whom I had known in Beckenham. He re- quested permission to go also. I hesitated, on find- ing that there were fever cases in the ward for which I was bound : he was amused at my fears for him, saying, that in old times he had spent many hours of the day by the side of yellow fever patients, at their quarters in the West Indies, reading novels to them ; <^ So now you need not fear for me if I read the Bible to your mild fever cases in England !" From that time he regularly visited that poor man twice a-week, although the hospital was six miles distant from Kensington Barracks ; and even in the hurry of his last day in England, found time to bid him farewell. During each of his succeeding visits to Beckenham, he addressed the poor in one cottage or another, in different parts of the village. At a carpenter's cot- tage, in an adjoining hamlet, where he spoke with ■...A • THE WAR. 95 relierence to the fast for the army, which had been kept throughout the country the day before, he was constantly prayed for, from that time until its owner heard of his death. A large number of young men, chiefly navvies, were present that evening, and at our request he told them the story of his conversion. To illustrate the recklessness of his life before that great change took place, he mentioned among other acts of useless and even sinful daring, that when he was in the West Indies at the time the cholera was raging, he and one brother officer determined to punish another for being afraid of it. " Let us put him into a coffin !" said Hedley. No sooner spoken than acted upon. A row of coffins stood at the hospital door. Undeterred from their reckless purpose, by finding one after another filled by a silent occupant, they at last succeeded in their object. The companion of Hedley Vicars in this sinful practical joke was seized with cholera shortly after- wards ; but, by God's forbearing mercy, he was spar- ed for better things. At the close of his address, he turned round, and said to me, with characteristic frank simplicity, " I am sorry you asked me to speak of myself ; one is afraid of being proud even in speaking of one's sins !" The following letter is in allusion to this : " Dearest Friend — I cannot tell you how lonely I always feel when, after having enjoyed your so- ciety (even if only for a few hours) I have once more returned to the routine of a soldier's life. But do not suppose because I say this, or from anything I have lately said, that I am beginning to * show the white feather,' and that, finding a soldier's cross too irksome, I would change it for one less weighty. Never ! The Lord God has called me to eternal life « I -h, . t ;:i;: .J,;' \ i .1 m 96 THE WAR. 1' J! -.-i IV- '^'^ in the army, and as a soldier J will die ! Had I loved Jesus when 1 was seventeen, or rather had the love of Jesus been then made known to my soul, 1 certainly should not have been a soldier ; but as it is, death alone shall ever make me leave my colours. Did our God and King, Jesus himself the < great Cap- tain of our salvation,' spare any toil, fatiguo, anguish, or bodily suffering even unto death, to obtain forgive- ness of our sins ? And shall not we, towards whom this infinite love and compassion have been shown, be constrained to do something for Jesus in return, . nor care if our path of duty should prove a rough and thorny one : for He cleared a way through the briars Jirsty and we but follow in the Saviour's footsteps ? " I confess that at times Satan has puffed me up, and made me think more highly of myself than I ought to think : but I hate and detest this sin, and for many months I think the Lord has given me grace to fight against effectually. But I must be watch- ful. How pleasant is it not, after having been en- gaged in the work of heart-examination, to pause and behold the Lamb of God ? I thank God that I can trace so distinctly His finger in my soul's con- version, and that it has been begun and is carried on entirely by Him alone. < By grace are ye saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves ; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.' < Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing !' " In reading again the accouut of our Saviour's re- surrection, I could not help pausing to meditate on those blessed words, ^I ascend to my Father and your Father.' Is it not delightful when we can (even only for a while) fully realize that we are thus closely united to God through Jesus Christ ; and is it not a wonderful thought, in grandeur far exceeding the highest conception of the human mind, that we. N ; ^ i THE WAR. 97 eii- although mere creatures of the clay, are yet immor- tal, God-related beings, elected, destined to enjoy a glorious, never-ending eternity with Jehovah Jesus, our Father and Elder Brother ? Then shall these dark tombs of hearts be made so pure and white that even the breatli of sin can never comd near to defile them ; and now we see through a glass darkly, then shall we • know even as we are known.' " I often grieve when at night I look back on the niany precious hours, ot the day losty giv(3n me for the purpose of making a closer acquaintance with Jesus ; and 1 suppose the greater happiness we find in Him here, the greater will be our enjoyment of Him hereafter. It is only adding sorrow to grief to know as we do that Christ yearns for our love, and that it pains His human nature when forgotten by us, for whom He has done snch great things ; but I do desire to be always in Christ, and He in me ; and I think in His mercv God is leading' my heart to seek more earnestly ' the unsearchable riches of Christ ;' and yet there is still the remains of the old leaven work- ing in my heart, and it is only the grace of God that restrains me. But how comfortin^j the assurance that He will carry on His ^ labour of love' in our souls, that He does not leave the issue in the least doubtful ; for His having come to us, and made His abode with us, filling our hearts with peace and joy i'! be- lieving, and causing them to 'abound with ii' pe through the power of the Holy Ghost,' is a proof that we shall persevere unto the end, and leads us to be- lieve that (notwitstanding our frail natures) we shall never perish, but being sealed with the ' Spirit of promise,' be kept through faith unto sal- vation, and preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. " I must not forget, dearest friend, to explain what I meant when 1 said that ' a sort of pride is apt to lise up in speaking even of our sins.' It is a fact that • • f « m 4m if X ) « I'l^af fi*:: m \ I !.'■ 'h''. 98 THE WAR. when I have spoken of my life (at least, the greater part of it) to those who were then living in the indul- gence of those very sins (once the inmates of my heart), I have hacl such thoughts as those put into my mind (and it has more than once made me doubt my sincerity in referring to myself) : < Oh, yes, if you let them know that you were once like themselves, they will think the better of you for having led what they wouldcall a bold, fearless, dashing life ; they will admire your excessive humility, think you an extraor- dinary character, and so on. It is positively sicken- ing to know that I have ever been guilty of such vile thoui^hts. But there is, thank God! a fountain ever open in which to wash and be clean. " * When I survey the wondrous cross On which the Prince of Glory died, My richest gain I count but loss, And pour contempt on all my pride.' <* It should ever be deeply humbling to the believer to make known a career of sin, although past, gone, and washed out for ever in the blood of the Lamb." Kensington, May 3rd, 1854. " I am going to Richmond to see my dear uncle this morning, so I have only just time to write a few lines. I have made it a rule never to read any let- ters before prayer, and until I have read and meditated on my morning portion of God's Word ; but I was strongly tempted to break my resolution, when your letter was put into my hand this morning, and I can assure you it required no small self-denial and stern resistance to wishes, to put it aside till I had offered up my early sacrifice of prayer and thanksgiving. To tell you the truth, your letters have often made me break through this very rule, although I shall not, I hope, do so again, for I never enjoy any day that has not been commenced alone with God. THE WAR. 99 I went to see your navvy at the hospital on Satur- day afternoon, before I received your letter. I read a chapter, and had a pleasant chat with him for more than half an hour. He is, I think, rather weaker and thinner than when you saw him ; but I believe his soul is prospering, thank God ! He spoke most gratefully of you. I shall go and see him again soon. " I also had a long conversation with another poor fellow. I found that he had been a boatswain in the navy for many years. He thanked me most heart- ily for having spoken to him as I wished him good- bye. '< I had intended talking to some of the other men^ but an old woman came up in a threatening attitude, and told me ; time was up 5 ' so I was obliged to retire. " I have just returned from Simm's, where I had my likeness taken. I think there are two for you to choose from, both as plain as life. I brought my great Halifax Bible to have its portrait taken, as you desired. " Dr. Cay came to my room agam yesterday, and v^e read together 2 Cor. v. I find it a great comfort to see and talk with such a dear child of God ; and yet Jesus has often been more precious when, for days and weeks, I have not had one to speak to who could feel with me on the subject of religion, than when I have been thus blessed." On the 6th of May he went down to Terling, to stand godfather to his sister's infant son. The im- pression left on the minds of all his family by this visit, which he knew to be his last before leaving England, was that of increased earnestness, amount- ing to solemnity. Twice, at Lord Rayleigh's re- quest, he led the devotions at family prayers ; and those who heard him bore away a conviction of his meetness for that state of which he spoke with holy • • 1*1 'I ' 'I ■ t • * ^n ;-i 100 THE WAB, • » 1 , , ' 4 longin^: — " absent from the body, present with the Lord.^ His subject on the first day was 2 Cor. v., on the last Rev. xxii. With his mother and sisters lie held unreserved communion on the thin;^s which belonged to their peace. His second sister remembers tha*) when pressing the duty of reading the Word of God with prayer before the work of the day began, he men- tioned that whilst visiting his valued friends, Mr. and Mrs. Round, of Birch Hall, Essex, he had slept one morning later than usual, and had gone down to fa- mily prayers whhout having had time for his private devotions. " My soul was the worse for it," he said, "for nearly three weeks afterwards." Affectionate as he had ever been, there was, during this last visit, a depth of quiet tenderness about him which, they now feel, was a mute prophecy that this was his last welcome home. Very early in the morning of the day he left for London, he and his mother met for prayer. He knelt long by her side, pouring out his heart in pleading with God for her, that grace and strength might be given for every hour of need. Strengthened in spirit by that prayer, she was able, with his sisters, to accompany him as far as the station. The re- membrance of his last embrace, his last look, his last blessing, enriches their hearts still, and makes the place of their parting seem almost holy ground. A few days before the Light Company of the 97th left Kensington Barracks for their embarkation, I had an opportunity of conversing with some of the men. They gpoke with great respect and affection for their favourite officer. One of them, named Rey- nolds, said, " Since Mr. Vicars became so good, he has steadied about four hundred men in the regi- ment." " Four hundred!" was repeated with surprise. " I don't mean that he has made all the four hun- dred know could since dred regin man THE WAR. 101 (Ired as good as himself. That he couUl n't. f know enough of reliiriou to know that God alone could do that. But while he was Adjutant — an(J since too, he has sobered and steadied nigh four hun- dred of the drunken most and wildest men in the regiment. There is n't a better otilcer nor a better man in the Queen's service." Within a few days of the departure of the 97th, he received an earnest request from those Crystal Pa- lace workmen whom he had addressed at Becken- ham from time to time, that he would give them a few farewell words. We were all absent from home at the time, but a variety of details of the evening reached us in the graphic letters of these poor fel- lows. One of those letters will suffice here : '^Deptford, May 11th, 18^. " Dear Lady — Last night I went to hear that blessed soldier and minister of Christ, Mr. Vicars, addressing the people at Beckenham, and I believe he was much admired by all his hearers ; for my part, I never heard a man speak more like a humble, true follower of Christ than he did. But surely (as the words he dwelt much upon say) the love of Christ constraineth him. Oh that all our soldiers ar.d sailors were as he is ! Then our land would bring forth her increase, and God! even our own Grod, would give us his blessing ; and God would go before us and fight our battles. But, alas ! alas ! we follow too much our own ways, and do things we ought not, and leave undone what we should do. Sometimes I think myself that I will try hard to live nearer to God, but perhaps before an hour is gone over, wicked thoughts cross my mind, and thus I sin against God. I feel my desires for good were strengthened last night, and I am right glad I went. I had a great desire to speak to him afterwards, but • • • • 1 s. . r » 102 THE WAR. 1 *i i:i'r m i m w •'■K,;i there were so many people round him, and I thought he had stopped as long as he could convenient. 1 ran all the way after the carriage. My hope was to see him at the station, but I was not in time to see which carriage he got into in the dark ; so I did not see him ; but I pray God he may ever be kept in Christ, and if it be God's will, return to his native land from this dreadful war in peace. If I knew where to find him at Kensington, I would go up to see him again. <' From your humble, grateful servant, and son in Jesus Christ, ^* William Gregory." Hedley Vicars himself wrote of this evening's work to his sister : TO MISS VICARS. A " Kensington, Monday. Ever Dearest Mary — Although I am much en- gaged in various ways, I must find time to write a few lines to you. I must begin by giving you an account of my visit to Beckenham. I had a most happy meeting there last Wednesday. As the Rectoiy was deserted, being under repair, Mrs. Millar kind- ly asked me to have tea at her house. She used to know dearest mother and Uncle Edward very well. " At eight o'clock I started for the Reading-rooms, and found them filled. We began by sniging that beautiful hymn, ^ When I survey the wondrous cross,' and then I spoke to them, as well as I could, on those solemn words, " We must all appear before the judgment-seat of Christ,' and < Tlie love of Christ constraineth us.' God enabled me to speak very freely, — more so than I ever remember before, — and my heart was much drawn out in love for their souls. 1 spoke for nearly an hour, and then prayed with them. They appeared to take a deep IS got i( mg I* I '■ THE WAR. 103 I, very )re, — e for then deep interest in what was said, and they took a most af- fectionate farewell of me. " I went on Thursday eveninnr to a meeting of the Ragged Church and Chapel Union, Lord Shaftesbury in the chair, where I met Mr. Blake, who showed me Clara's letter about the additional Testaments she is going to give to the m.en of the 97th. At the Lon- don Bridge Station I met William Gregory, one of Miss M 's navvies, and we had a long talk, walking up and down, for a full hour. " I went yesterday to hear Mr. Cadman preach at St. George's Church, Southwark. I setoff early to walk there, and arrived half an hour before the ser- vice began. So, having a little time to spare, I spent it in conversing with a cabman, I hope profitably. I heard a capital sermon from Mr. Cadman. He is an earnest, faithful preacher of Christ. He had invit- ed me to luncheon at his house, and afterwards I went out with hira to see the ragged schools, six in number. He seems almost weighed down under a sense of the great responsibility of his cure. His parish numbers 40,000 souls, mostly of the lowest poor. I said to him, ' You need Sir, often to have near and precious views of Jesus in your own soul to keep your spirit from desponding and your faith strong.' He said, ^ Yes, it is only the thought of Him that sup- ports lis in our work ; otherwise it would at times be overwhelming.' At parting, he warmly commend- ed me to the grace of God. Would, dearest Mary, that both of us had the deep, unfeigned humility of this good man ! " In the evening I went to Park Chapel to hear Mr. Goodhart, of whose preaching Miss M— spoke in such very high terms. I fjund a nice walk through a shaded lane towards Chelsea. On emerg- ing into the road I saw an old w^oman dressed in black, and asked her the way to Park Chapel. She said, ^ Oh, Sir, I am going there ; will you come • • Vi -iJ: r • •■ i-'.-il 104. THE WAR. if U) i ''ih % ■ n:- mu with me ? or, as I shall walk too slow for you, 1 will tell you the way.' I told her 1 would prefer accom- panying her. We began talking together. She was loud in her praises of Mr. Goodhart, and said, < Woe be to the man who sits under his preaching without being changed.' I mentioned another excellent man. She instantly said, < Yes, he is a very good man, but he cannot hold a candle to this dear child of God.' When we arrived at the chapel she made me come into her pe ^. The chapel was quite full, and I never heard a more beautiful, powerful ser- mon in all my life — pure Gospel from beginning to end. I was rather amused several times by my old friend's saying, < Ah, did you ever hear anything like that before V What do you think of that ? After the service, I told her I should like to say a few words to. him about the Meeting of the Soldiers' Friend Society. She said, < You shall see him ; he is such a nice man to talk to,' and showed me the way to the vestry. I hesitated to go in, but she threw open the door and made me go in, I intro- duced myself to Mr. Goodhart, and he welcomed me most kindly. I found out what I wished to know about the Meeting, and wished him good night. I never saw the old woman in black again. *^ I must conclude, as I have much to do. 1 have to go and see about my married soldiers' children. Warm love to all. Kiss my godchild for me. May the Lord Jesus be with you, and the Holy Spirit be poured upon you. " Ever dearest Mary, " Your devotedly attached brother, (( HEDiiEY Vicars." On the evening of Wednesday, the 17th, he at- tended the first public Meeting in Exeter Hall, for the Soldiers' Friend Society; in which he waff ij^'h THE WAR. 105 warmly interested. Some of his men were also pre- sent . He found time for the service of God, and for pro- moting the interests of His kingdon upon earth, with- out neglecting any of the last obligations of friend- ship before his final parting, and whilst occupied, almost from morning till night, in arranging and pro- viding for the wives and children of the soldiers of the Light Company. The order had come for the embarkation of his re- giment on Friday in that week. The fulfilment of an old promise was now claimed by him, that we should meet him at the Waterloo Station, and cheer him with a last " God bless you !" there. But on Thursday afternoon he sent a note by ex- press, to say that they had just received orders to leave London at six o'clock ; and that much as he had rested on the promise of this last act of friendship in England, he could not request its fulfilment, as the hour was so early. It need not be said, that the hour was of no mo- ment to those who loved him. By six o'clock we drove up to the Waterloo Station. It was a lovely morning, that 19th of May. The sunshine, glittering on the bayonets of the men, as they marched up the steps to the station, seemed to mock the tears of wives, sisters, and friends who ac- companied them. I saw a young wife quit her hold of her husband's hand, and approach Hedley Vicars, with a manner of respectful confidence, as she said to him, " Oh, Mr. Vicars, you will see that Cottrell writes to me regu- lar ! won't you ? It is my only comfort to know that you will." The kindness and sympathy of his tone, as he an- fiwered her, told that her confidence was not mis- placed. Just th«i his brother arrived ; and during the delay « • \ *■ ^\< :'*'. ,'■ • • 106 THE WAR, 1 « f « ; t I . J ' r \ i which followed before the train started, we read the 121st Psalm in the waiting-room. I remember the deep well of quiet confidence in his eye, as the words were repeated to him, " The Lord is thy keeper." There was something in the tone of his voice that day which struck like a distant knell upon our hearts. It was a foreboding tone. However strongly hope may have sprung up afterwards, we felt at that mo- ment that it was our last parting. !i- • ! ■; h £ '-y. a ' « • • \. . VIII.~THE HOSPITAL. "Then shall ihe K.NG say, * » * Inasmuch as j'e did it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye did it unto me.'* The path of Hedley Vicars for nearly three years past, had been as a shining light in the eyes of all who watched it. But during his last year upon earth it shone " more and more unto the perfect day." Doubtless, for a heart at once so tender in its own feelings, and so intent on sustaining the spirits of others, there was a discipline of no light character in the partings he had just gone through, with a presage that they were final ; and although the hopes of young, high-hearted manhood rose at times above that solemn foreboding, it ran like an under-currient through the remainder of his course, and deepened his earnestness in pressing after the prize set before him. Before the Orinoco sailed from the shores of Eng- land, he found time to pour forth the overflowings of his full heart in the following letters to his mother, and to one of the friends with whom he had last parted : TO HIS MOTHER. '*0n Board the Orinoco, May 19th, 1854. u * * I feel grateful to God for having given me so many kind Christian friends, but far above all, for having given me sujh a mother, whose prayers, I believe, God has answered in leading me for shelter and refuge to the cross of Christ. Do not; I beseech a ll ■A ' Mill 4 *W 108 THE HOSPITAL. ■i'lv ! .:' : . ■ '» ,4. : :■ ! I. ■ '. M '.>-'^ '> i'.f % . l^'-r'i 1^ Z '■ '; r^i^'^ you, dearest mother, b3 the least anxious about mo. I am in God's hands, therefore fear not for me. No- thing could irake my hands stronger than knowing that your mind is at peace and quiet. We know that all things work together for our good, that Jesus loves us with an everlasting love, and that it is not only in health that he is with us, but when we come to die he will * comlort us,' and bear us safely through the valley of the shadow of death.'' *' On Board the Orinoco, May 19th. (( * * Here we are, thank God, safe and sound ! We expect the head-quarters from Windsor at twelve o'clock to-morrow ; but it is doubtful whe- ther we sail on Saturday evening or Sunday morning. And now, thank you from my innermost soul for your precious letter. I could say but little this morning ; and I feel now that I cannot half express my intense gratitude for all your many acts of true-hearted friend- ship. How very, very kind of you to drive so far to wish me a last farewell ! God bless you, dearest friend, for this crowning proof of your affection, and reward you a thousand- fold for all you have done for me and mine. I left you with a heavy heart this morning, but your letter refreshed and comforted me very much. I read it over and over again. Thank you for the beautiful pencil-case ; it is doubly valua- ble from having been long w^orn by you. 1 feel grate- ful to you for the interest you have taken in poor Cot- trell's wife. I have desired him to write to her. Thank dearest from me for every kind word she spoke to soothe the sorrowing heart of that poor wo- man. Tell her that this morning, in my cabin, alone, I poured out my soul in prayer for her. , . . In this world we must expect trials and sorrows ; in- deed, I think we should soon cease to feel our con- stant need of Jesus if it were not so, and willingly* yes, joyfully, do I hail any cross that weans me more from the world and leads me closer to Him. on b( often ;Lj;ivei days ther, that of CI shoul motiA neath He w hearti (6 bor.t nio. ne. No- knowing enow that 3SUS Joves ot only in Tie to die wust Sunday — as many as the cabin could contain ! With several of my brother officers, I have had most interv^stinsf conversations, and with some to whom I * • ti . mi'' ^ it: 'ml ♦ • li'm VI no THE HOSPITAL. v(. ^•3 11^ m never epoke on religious subjects before : and I be- lieve that in many a heart there is impLanted a desire for that which the world cannot give. Some of them will not only listen attentively to what refers to their eternal welfare, but seem most anxious to renew the subject. God grant that this time of trouble and ex- citement may be made the means of awakening careless hearts, and leading them to Ctirist. ''June 1. — We are now in Malta Harbor, and ex- pect to leave for the Piraeus in an hour's time. A French frigate passed us this Inorning, the men turn- ed up and cheered her most heartily, to which the Frenclimen responded as cordially." TO irrS MOTHER. "PiR/r',us, June 3rd, 1854, " Ever Dearest Mother — By God''s mercy we have at length reached our destination. The Orinoco let go her anchor about three o'clock this afternoon. I got up very early this morning and went on deck. On either side of us was high, rocky land, and here and there were several islands, barren and unculti- vated. We steamed past Athens ; it is situated on the slope of a hill, with high mountains stretching away on both sides. As we kept out a considerable distance from land, we could not distinguish much. In an hour we entered the harbor of the Piraeus, and here the scene that presented itself was very novel. We had scarcely anchored, when the rigging of the Leander, a British frigate, was swarming with her crew, who welcomed us with loud hurrahs ; an- swering cheers pealed from a thousand throats, and scarcely had they died away, when the band of the French flag-ship, the Gomer, struck up ' God save the Queen,' and the men clustered like bees in the rigging, waving their straw caps, and cheering most heartily Vive P EmpereuVf sounding plain and dis- tinct from the quarter-deck of the Orinoco, was the sign; THE HOSPITAL. Ill signal for renewed and long (^.ontinued cheering. Hardly had they ceased, when all else was drowned in the thundering of the saluting cannon * * » The Pirajus is surrounded by hills, the slopes of which are thickly studded with the tents of the French ; indeed tliey appear to l)e everywhere. They have a guard at the entrance of the harbor, and several outposts in the town. * » * j thank God that, notwithstanding many obstacles m various ways, He has given me the power to keep near to Jesus ; indeed, I feel more than ever the comfort of religion. Pray for me, dearest mother, that I may be keep faithful unto the end. This is indeed a poor world without Christ. God bless you, dearest, best of mothers, and may you be ^filled with the Holy Ghost.'" TO MISS VICARS. << Magazine Guard, Piraeus, June '2'2iid. "My Darling Mary — I3eing on guard to-day, I take tlie opportunity of writing to you, as here I have both a table and chair, and my tent can boast of neither. The heat is excessive, the thermometer being 100 '^ in the shade. You have no idea what lassitude and disinclination for exertion creep over one ; but I light against it as well as I can. I have not yet seen Athens by day ; but on the 13th, I start- ed about sunset with a young brother officer, to have a moonlight view of the Acropolis. After a dusty walk of six miles we reached the famous city. We walked about the streets for upwards of an hour, and met several Greek soldiers armed with firelock and sword, some of whom looked rather savagely at us. Not knowing our way up to the ruins of the Acropo- lis, we should have had some difficulty in finding it, when luckily we met a Greek to whom we had given a free passage from Malta, and who spoke English tolerably well. He showed us the way up the mouu* G 2 I ' I ^ " I i . m 5. if'''- - M ;;■ V -f ■.-,.ti ' ' I . *' i "4 .11 112 THE HOSPITAL. • i m [y. f tain. When we readied its summit we passed through a low archway which led to a small wicket gate, barred and locked. On knocking we were roughly challenged by a sentry, whom we had evi- dently aroused from his peaceful slumbers ! When our guide explained that we were English officers, the door was quickly opened. We went up several marble steps, and found ourselves in the venerable ruins of the Acropolis. I never saw so magnificent a sight. The full moon was shining in pale splen- dour ; h'gh massive columns in good preservation, stood out in bold relief; whilst others, shattered by the Turkish cannon, during the last war, or moulder- ing from age, scarcely reared tiieir heads above the marble pavement. But such a scene loses by des- cription. I had brought my Testament, in the hope that we could read a quiet cliapter together, on the spot when Paul once preached < Jesus Christ, and Him crucified ;" but the chattering guitlo and inqui- sitive guard wno accompanied us, prevented our having this pleasure. From an old embrasure, about two hundred feet above the town, we had a beautiful view of Athens. I could have remained there for hours. Oh, how I wisli you could have been with us ! ^* I enjoyed so much my first walk to Athens that the next night 1 went there again with another officer, and read Acts xvii., on " Mar's Hill," by moonlight. We did not reach the Pirajus till half-past two in the morning ! While we were away the Camp had a false alarm. One of the sentries observed what he thought to be a large body of armed men approaching ; and, giving the alarm, the men were quickly out of the tents, and, amidst great confusion, began loading tiieir muskets, &c. After they had formed in column ' — ^the French on each side being also under arms— a party was sent to reconnoitre, when the enemy was discovered to be a large drove of oxen with their diivers! THE HOSPITAL. 113 « c lit HE m :l 116 THE HO.'bPITAL. '' I must now conclude, for it is just midnight. You can have no idea how the musquitoes have been biting me under the table, ever since I began writing. Macgregor paid me a visit to-day ; he is quite a young fellow ; I like him very much ; we have had many conversations together ; he is another proof of the untold blessing of having a pious mother, and a pious father too. * * * " Give my love to that dear old Christian, Mrs. Kipping, and thank her for her prayers. Tell me how poor Mr. B. is? I shall never forget his telling me one day, with tears in his eyes, * I cannot be- lieve ! I want to believe ! I have often prayed for him since.'' . . . TO DR. TWINING. << PiRJEus, Greece, July 19th, 1854. u . . I thank you from my innermost soul^ dearest friend, for the comfort and peace I now en- joy : for leading me (as the instrument in God's hands) to Jesus. And now, having tasted that the Lord is gracious — having known somewhat of the love of Christ, I would endeavour to win my fellow sinners to Him —from vanity to real enjoyment. '' Jesus is very precious to my soul — my All in all. Often have I been on the point of falling away, and yet His arm has held me up, and kept me from bring- ing dishonour on His blessed name ! To Him be all the praise and glory. '' Seasons of despondency and gloom I have had,but my consolations have abounded also, and I trust that 1 am seeking tor more conformity to Jesus in my life and conversation, through the mighty help of His ever-blessed Spirit. But Avith St. Paul, often in the agony of my soul am I forced to cry out, < Oh, wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death ?' Yet with whom also THE HOSPITAL. 117 I can say, ' I thank God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.' * * * " We are quartered iiere with the French, wlio have upwards of 4,000 men. They are in tents ; we are now in barracks. The weather is very hot, and the climate bad. We are now in quarantine, as the cholera has broken out amongst the French. They have lost two ofiicers and one hundred men. We have not lost a man; but it is a solemn time, and loudly calls upon each of us, ' Prepare to meet thy God.' " I feel very much being debarred from the means of grace and from the communion of the Lord's people ; but Jesas more than makes up for ever}- loss. There have been happy moments, when He has been very near, and when 1 felt that I should wish to de- part and be with Him." To the same beloved and honoured friend (of whom, with every member of his family, Heclley Vicars ever retained the most affectionate remembrance) he had previously addressed these words, which forcibly expressed the deliberate choice of his soul : " I would not, for all the world could give me, go back to my former state. I have gained immeasur- ably mere than I have given. In exchange for iieet- ing pleasures now, I have hopes of lasting joys, which mortal eye hath never seen, nor ear heard of, nor heart can conceive, I have been brought into friendship with (^od, through the merits and precious bloodshedding of my Redeemer and the influence of the Holy Ghost. And in place of an aching heart, I have tasted of a peace which passeth understand - ... _^;V ■ V r. ■. . .1 mg. 95 Hedley Vicars was now to enter on the most so- lemn period of his life. To those who watch tie i 118 THE HOSPITAL. < (. v., 1 1 : ' ''!■' :^l f f guidings of the Divine hand, it will be scarcely ne- cessary to point out the wisdom of that Providence which led hira to Greece, and kept him there through- out the awful prevalence of the cholera and malig- nant fever — a visitation which, within the space of thirty-four days, deprived his regiment of one hun- dred and twenty of his ablest and finest men. As no spiritual instruction was provided for either Protestant or Roman Catholic soldiers, the field was his own. He began his work by undertaking the command of funeral parties for other olficers, who gladly relinquished to him a task so little congenial to their feelings. In this way he obtained frequent opportunities of addressing the living around the graves of the dead, warning them to flee from the wrath to come, and beseeching them to close at once with eiibrts of free pardon and mercy from that divine Redeemer w^ho is ^*the life of them that believe, and the resurrection of the dead." On the first of these solemn occasions his heart was too full for words, yet the tears which stifled his voice had an eloquence of their own for the brave men around him. They reckoned not the less confidentially on his dauntless courage in every hour of danger. " One touch of nature makes the whole world kin." The solemn and tender tone of his own feelings com- municated itself to them, and thus were their hearts opened to receive the message he so longed to de- liver: It was "the love of Christ constraining" him, and no mere sense of duty, which led Hedley Vicars to spend the greater part of his days, and often of his nights, in the pestilential air of the crowded hospi- tals — THE HOSPITAL. 121 rll ely ne- vidence [ malig- ;pace of [le hun- )r either eld was :ing the irs, who ^ngenial frequent and the rom the at once at divine eve, and eart was lis voice n around ially on kin." OS com- r hearts d to de- im, and ^cars to n of his i hospi- *' Seeking as men seek for riches, Painful vigils by the bed Where the sick and dying stretches Aching Umbs beside the dead." Dearer than Ufe to him was the hope of persuadnig the dying to look to Jesus, remembering the breadth of the promise, " Look unto me, and be ye saved, all ye ends of the earth." And doubly did he prize the opportunity, when the lighting up of a dying eye at the name of Jesus assured him he was ministering to one of the brethren of his Lord, for he was not un- mindful of the words, " I was sick, and ye visited me." Whilst thus intently occupied in promoting the spi- ritual welfare of the men of his regiment, he was no less keenly alive to the best interests of his brother officers. Although open opposition on the part of those who differed from him in religious opinion had long ceased, he did not know until now how firm was his hold on their feelings and confidence. When laid aside by illness, they all welcomed his visits, and generally asked him to repeat them. The real- ity of his religion was now proved beyond all ques- tion. It had been weighed in the balances with mere worldly motives of action, and had not been found wanting* Confidence could no longer be with- held from principles which had subdued to thought- ful tenderness for the souls of those around, a spirit amongst the most buoyant and dauntless of them all, "I have been thinking over the time we spent at the Piraeus," writes a young brother officer in whom Hedley Vicars was warmly interested, " and will tell you of anything which strikes me. I was constantly with Vicars there, and know what his daily life was better, perhaps, than any one else. But about that it is difficult to say more than that he never tor a mo- ment seemed to forget ' whose he was.' When we H t ii ij;;;.-. :hy-..-m % 122 THE HOSPITAL. ( f were in camp, on first landing, he was in the habit of « ■* ■ k: 'A m \^-.h i)' going out alone for hours amongst the recks on the sea-shore, having only his Bible, which, I remember his telling me. Dr. Marsh called ^ his sword.^ " As you know, of course, there was no chaplain for the English troops there. The chaplain attached to the English Legation at Athens came over to the Piraeus at first to perform a short service in one of the barrack-rooms, but as socn as the sickness broke out he was not allowed to come. Part of the service was generally read on Sunday, by the officers to the men of their companies ; ani the officers, in rotation, took the duty, morning and evening of burying the dead, which sometimes, of our English regiment only, ex- ceeded ten daily. Hedley Vicars undertook this duty several times for others, and seldom, ?*/ ever, per- formed it without adding a few earnest w^ords to the men present. Soon after the sickness broke out he used regularly to visit the hospitals, reading and praying with the dying men, and taking every oppor- tunity of speaking of the < one thing needful' to others. In these visits to the hospitals he was sometimes ac- companied by two or three of his brother officers, one of whom, Major Colville, has since died in the Cri- mea. " With all his zeal, he was ever careful to avoid giving offence. I have known him to erase passa- ges which seemed to speak harshly of Roman Catho- lics from tracts he was about to distribute generally amongst the men. Much as he abhorred Popery, he had the greatest tenderness for the feelings of Roman Catholics. His constant kindness and sympathy for all, of any creed, and whether officers or men, is not easily to be described. When others were depress- ed, he was always hopeful. His spirits were hardly ever cast down. "All these things you must have heard from others. The most remarkable thing about him — his^ THE HOSPITAL. 123 great consistency of life and conversation, with his entire devotion to the one cause ever set before him — I seem to be unable to put into words." The history of this solemn time is more fully given in his own earnest letters , a " PiRjEus, July 2lst, 1854. ' * * I know that what I have to tell you will cause you great anxiety ; but the newspapers will give you all particulars, whether I do so or not* The cholera has been raging here. For some time it was with the French alone ; but the day before yesterday we lost one man, and smce then, nine have been carried off by it. O, dearest friends, pray that this fearful visitation may be the means of aw^akening solemn thoughts in the stoutest hearts amongst my thoughtless comrades, and leading them for pardon, peace, and safety to Jesus the Saviour of sinners. Do not be alarmed for me. Remember God's delight in answering prayer, and surely no man has such praying friends as I have. How often the happy hours w^e have passed together come before me, and I wonder whether we shall ever have them over again i * * * Should I die now, you know my only ground of hope, my only confidence, my only assurance is in the cross of Jesus Christ and in the knowledge that < the precious blood of Christ clean- seth from all sin :' — words as full of sweetness and of consolation to me now as on the day when they were first made to my soul, < the power of God unto salva- tion.' Death in this form, at all events, has its gloom even for Christians , but then the sting, yes the sting, is for them completely taken away." '< PiR^us, July 25th. « * * * Death has been busy amongst our poor fellows since I last wrote to you. Twentv-seven have died in seven days. I am quite well, thank •I 9' i* V, i' ' .h .(•I ,iii 124. THE HOSPITAL. , «. '■ ^-a;i, God, although in low spirits. How can it be other- wise, seeing so many for whom I had a regard cut off thus suddenly ? Several of the officers of my re- giment have been ill with fever. They have been mercifully spared from cholera hitherto. " Do you remember poor young Reynolds, the sol- dier whom you noticed particularly when you gave the hymn-books to the men at Kensington Barracks, and those kind words of parting counsel which they have never forgotten? I buried him and another comrade last night. I had intended speaking a few words to ray men over the open graves of their dead messmates ; but it was as much as I could do to get through the service ; and as soon as I began to speak to them afterwards I could not for the life of me help crying like a child. The men cried and sobbed around me. It was of no use to try to go on, so I ordered them to < fall in,' and we went mournfully back to the barracks. " Morning and evening the dead-cart leaves the hospital for the grave-yard. It is all very sad and solemn, but « there is a silver lining to the darkest cloud.' I believe that to many this dread visitation of the Almighty has taught a lesson which I trust and hope never will be forgotten. Alas! that so few have the comfort of religion, the knowledge of Jesus Christ! With some of my brother officers I have lately had most earnest conversations, and they have promised to come to my room that we may read the Bible together. 0, that I may be enabled to speak a word m season to their souls, and by my poor feeble testimony to His tenderness and love, lead them to that precious Saviour who died for sinners ! We meet for prayer every eveuing, with peculiar reference to the removal of this grievous sickness, if it please God, and for the gift of His Holy Spirit to sanctify this visitation." •1 -ii THE HOSPITAL. 125 ^^ July 26th. — Since I wrote the above, live more have died. One of them was my former servant, poor Hillyar. I took the service for the officer whose turn it was to command the funeral party, and said a few words to the soldiers who were standing around the graves, and asked them to join in prayer with me. I heard the voices of many, broken by their sobs. Not one of these fine fellows would hesi- tate to face a cannon's mouth or mount the deadly breach, yet they shrink from the fearful ravages of this unseen foe. Will you all pray for my regiment ? Pray for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon them. Few are as yet prepared to die. God bless and keep you all. In the midst of these gloomy scenes I think as often as ever of L , aiid.^ if possible, with even more overflowing thankfulness and love." " PiRiEus, August 12th, a * * * One hundred and five have died since the cholera broke out; most of them were amongst the finest, healthiest fellows in the regiment. I have many opportunities now of speaking both to of- ficers and men, and trust and believe, in some cases, not without benefit. I have taken the duty of bury- ing the dead several times out of my turn, as some of the officers have rather an objection to it, and I have been enabled to speak to the men after the ser- vice. They endeavour to join me in prayer very ear- nestly around those open graves. As all the officers, excepting myself and tw^o others have been ill either with fever or modified cholera, 1 have regularly gone to read with them ; and all are kind, whilst many seem cordially to desire more of it. In one or two cases, from what I knew of the men when well, I thought the subject of Christ crucified might not be liked ; but it was just contrary ! The very fellows ^hom I had most fear about speaking to were those m U m n i • - (I 126 THE HOSPITAL. t 1 I who listened most attentively and seemed to be the most interested. " In my own soul I have enjoyed a peaceful happy time leaning on Jesus. It is true this is a spiritual desert, but seldom have I had more hungerings and thirstings after Christ and holiness. With David I can say, ' My soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh long- 6th for thee, in a dry and thirsty land where no wa- ter is.' But you have taught me not to be selfishly engrossed with my own spirit, but to seek to have my soul drawn out to the hungry, to seek diligently after wandering sheep ; and the deeper one's anxie- ty the deeper one's interest and delight in the work. Your precious letters help and sustain me. God bless you for them. * * * N is most inte- resting to me now. Trusting in tho strength of Je- sus, I believe his mind is made up ' to follow the Lord wholly.' He comes to my room every even- ing, and we generally walk together. Four com- panies have gone to the hills for change of air. I never was better in my life, though, of course, not quite so strong as when I left old England." " PiRiEus, August 18th. " * * * About seventy of my hundred and seven comrades who have died of cholera were men whom I well knew, as they entered the service about the same time that I did. I do hope that some, nay, that many, amongst them were enabled to look to Jesus in thoir last moments. God grant we may find such to have been the case when we all meet at the last day. '' Poor Cottrell has been ill again, but is recovering. The Scripture reading is in the ward where he is, and he is very attentive, as indeed they all are. The day before yesterday, whilst going round the wards, I noticed one poor young fellow who had been THE HOSPITAL. 127 ' l admitted about an hour before. His eyes were sunk- en, and his hollow cheek and blackened face pro- claimed that this fearful disease had seized upon him with the grasp of death. I spoke to him for a little while, and then passed on to others. The next day his bed was empty. Ono of the orderlies told me that he suffered much in his mind before he died. He had his senses to the last, which is very unusual. It appears that he had been a Protestant, but became a pervert to the church of Rome. He expressed a wish to die in his former faith, and asked one of the men for a Prayer-book. Not one was at hand. He then said, < Read me the first chapter of the Gospel of St. John.' At its cloie, he said he felt much re- lieved in his mind, and died. Oh ! we will believe that he was enabled to ^ behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sins of the world.' I cannot tell you how sorry I am that I was not there. One of the orderlies would have come for me, but not one could be spared from the hospital. " Last Sunday one of ray brother officers was at- tacked with cholera, but he has, thank God, got over it. I went to see him several times, and talked to him about Jesus. Every time I went he told me how glad he was of it. I write a line by every mail now to tell you of my safety. I am enjoying great peace of soul, resting on Jesus, on him alone." ♦"I " Pir.t:us, August 21st, 22d. " No one can fancy in England what the arrival of the mail is here, nor the power of letters like yours to cheer one's heart when all around is gloom and death. Your letters arid your prayers have nerved me to do many things which otherwise I should not perhaps have attempted. I feel that lean never tell you what a blessing God has made you to me in every way. It was you who first raised in my heart a r!;. il I. : • ' 128 THE HOSPITAL. really strong desire to save souls, to win fellow-sinners to the cross of Jesus Christ, not as a mere duty, but as the heart's delight. I cannot express how deeply grateful I feel towards you, best and dearest of all mjy earthly friends. But God knows and hears my poor prayers for you. * ♦ * " You will be thanklul to hear there is a decrease of cholera. The last man we have lost (one of the Light company) was admitted into hospital last night. Poor fellow, he suifered most dreadfully ; it was quite painful to stand by his bedside. I remain- ed w^ith him for nearly an hour, and spoke to him from time to time of Je.ms Christ. But whenever the cramps came on, his screams quite chowned my voice. On leaving him I shook hands with him (his were black and cold), and told him to ^ behold the Lamb of God that taketh away the sins ol the world-,"' to look to Jesus, whose blood cleanseth from all sin When I mentioned the name of Jesus he gave me such a wonderful look, full of peace and resignation. In less than four hours afterwards his soul had fled. '* Only fifteen are in hospital now with cholera ; the fever hospital is still crowded ; but I should think no disease, except the plague, can be so horrible as Asiatic cholera. I saw its ravages in Jamaica, but that which has raged here seems to have been of a more virulent nature, and death has come on more rapidly ; it so alters the countenance that often I have been quite unable to recognize dying men whom I found, on asking their names, that I knew very well. " My Scripture-reading and Prayer Meeting at the hospital is better attended than ever. Last Sunday I read the twelfth chapter of Hebrews in one of the wards ; and after talking to the men about it, felt my heart drawn out earnestly in prayer for their souls. My chief my only subject with them, is Jesus, audit is a theme of which I hope never to grow tired. May THE HOSPITAL, 1_^-^ 1 t" v-8inner6 duty, but w deeply 3st of alJ lears my crease of le of the ital last [fully; it '. lemaiii- e to him whenever rned my him (his hold the e worlds'' all sin gave me ignatioii. lad fled, jholera ; dd think rrible as ica, but ;en of a )n more 1 1 have whom I w very ig at the unday I J of the felt my r souls. s, and it May God the Holy Ghost bless my feeble words to their immortal souls, for Jesus Christ's sake ! " I want to persuade all the men of my regiment that nothing would ever give me greater pleasure than to read and pray with them, at any hour, day or night, when any of them are ill and dying, if they would only send an orderly to let me know. « With Cottrell, who is still in hospital, I have had many earnest conversations. Corporal Farmer, whom I mentioned to you, is slowly sinking of con- sumption; he IS very peaceful, resting all his hopes on Jesus. The men both m hospital and bariacks, have read most eagerly the tracts which I have distributed amongst them. Captain Trotter added largely to my stock ; but I have not one too many. I hope and pray that they may be the means of leading numbers to search the Scriptures. " Thank the villagers at Beckenham for their pray- ers for us. God bless them all." li- ed and stren^j^thened myself, whilst talking of Jesus to others. Surely there is no subject so delightful to asinner as 'Jesus Christ, and Him cruciiied.' (jod grant that his love may lead many — all in my regi- ment — to take up their Cross, and follow Him. 1 daily find Him to be mo^^ lovely and precious to my own soul. What I want now, whilst I have the op- portunity, is, to make others as happy as myself ; for well I know, from long and bitter experience, that until the blood of the Cross speaks peace to the soul, man is, for the most part, but discontented and miserable. And if this is the case when we are strong and healthy, how much more so, when sick or dyfng ! Men often talk with unconcern of a dymg bed, when they think it distant, and refuse to < give way to weakness,' as they call it, by dimking of it in time ; but it is seldom the dream continues to the end ; and when the reality flashes upon them, it is sometimes too late ! Although even at the very last, Jesus is ready to save, yet not a few give up all as lost, and die in despair. ^* But we will hope better things, dearest friend, for the men of my poor regiment, and continue to pray that the Dayspring from on high, which hath visited us, by the free grace and mercy of God, may be shed abroad over them all, ^ to give light to them that sit H: $• •• v f|S„ ,A. .. <-.>«3.'ft«~-,>-»i.. I t 132 THE HOSPITAL. 1 < in darkness, and in the shadow of death, and to guide their feet into the way of peace.' God grant it, for Jesus Christ's sake. ^< It was not my servant whom you saw at Kensing- ton, who died of cholera, but a man named Hillyar, who left me about a year ago. Richard Young, I am glad to say, is well. I often see him reading the book you gave him. " I am advised to go to Pentelicus for a few days' change, but have not made up my mind to it, as I have plenty to do here. Certainly I shall not go as long as the cholera remains here. It is, I trust, leav- ing us now ; but such has been its malignity that only twenty of those who have been attacked with it have come out of hospital alive. <* The aimy in Turkey has also suffered severely from the pestilence. Rumours are now afloat that we are to be sent on thither. We all desire it most heartily. • ^^ God bless you all. <^ Ever most beloved friend and sister, your most attached and grateful brother, " Hedley Vicars." hi <^ The secret of the Lord is with them that fear Him, and he will show them His covenant." That covenant is " of life and peace," — words which had their peculiar charm for Hedley Vicars. There was no morbid weariness of existence in him. Love and hope were strong in his heart, and the future had its own bright pictures before his imagination. Death m itself, was not a thing which he desired ; he de- lighted in viewing it as a " mere incident in /i/e." His soul was kept in peace amidst " nothing but death, death on every side" (to use his own express- ion), because he knew and felt that " he that hath the Son of God hath life ;^^ and with love to that THE HOSPITAL. 133 Saviour rising above all other love, he could then write — " Death is dreaded as a iearful thing to go through ; but I think, with Jesus very near me, I could wel- come it to-morrow. The prospect of meeting in a few hours that glorious Saviour, whose love we can never conceive here m all its magnitude, makes me long < to depart and be with Christ.' " By the beginning of September the cholera had disappeared from the Piraeus. Only the 103d Psalm now seemed to furnish words warm enough for the language of his grateful heart. For a time he was cheered by the hope that the impression left by this visitation on the minds of a large number of his re- giment (Vas deep and effectual ; but towards the close of that month, we find him thus writing — " Whilst I see, and bless God for it, a great and visible change in manyy yet, alas ! in numbers it grieves me to perceive that solemn impressions are vanishing like 134 THE HOSPITAL. eternal redemption for us, I sometimes think i am one of ^the nine' who <- returned not to give glow to God ;' and those words of Jesus eeem sjx)ken of me, in touching tones of reproach, ^ Were there not ten cleansed ? But where are the nine V Oh ! how often when, by the eye of faith, 1 see Him on the cross, or lying dead in the tomb, I am pained to the quick by the coldness of my evil heart, and with the weari- ness and want of love with which I remember Jesus.' Should He have to ask us to remember Him ? Tiie promptings of our hearts should ever be, ^ I cannot forget Thee !' " But we know, through the teaching of God the Holy Ghost, that we should never have thought of Jesus at all, or have loved Him in the least, if He had not first loved us, and revealed himself to our souls. Therefore, whilst we mourn (7, at least, find need to do so often) over our own hearts, we can, and will, and do rejoice ' with joy unspeakable' in the never-changing, never-dying love of Jesus Christ, our blessed Saviour." I > " I had a charming trip to Pentelicus. The tents are pitched under fine lofty tree «;, large hills compl6te- tely surrounding the camp on e ^ery side. Moi^ntain torrents dash through the midst of it, and baths have been constructed both for officers and men. 1 enjoy- ed my few days there very much, and thought how perfect it would have been to me if L had been with me, to enjoy the wild scenery and glorious moonlight. But on this subject I have enlarged to herself. I was gratified by seeing the change which had taken place in one of my young brother ofiicers, with whom I formerly joined in many a wild frolic. I remember his once saying to me [I think it was at Canterbury], when I had spoken to him earnestly about his soul, * Oh, Vicars, my dear fellow, I believe 1^ « *i' 'i^<»- > >*• A- .* '* THE HOSPITAL. 135 ink i am glory to n of me, 3 not ten low ofteji le cross, lie quick be weari- 3r Jesus.' 1? The I cannot God the lought of st, if He ;lfto our east, find can, and ?' in the Christ, lie tents 3mpl6te- ountain IS have 1 enjoy- ght how ad been glorious arged to e which oiRcers, rolic. I was at irnestly '. believe in a call, and am* only waiting for a call. It is pkun enough you have had one. Why, the other day you were pulling down lamp-posts with me; and now just look at you !' But I trunt that in a severe fever which he had here, he learnt that the ' call' was ever sound- ing in his ears, if he w^ould liBten to it — * Whosoever will, let him drink of the water of life freely !" " I often feel myself a weak and helpleps creature when defending the glorious ^ truth as it is in Jesus' against the arguments of men for whom he died, who yet deny Him. But I never enter into discussion without first seeking the light and aid of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct me, so that every word may be according to ' the mind of Christ' — ^ speaking the truth in love.^ To men of my own age, I can now speak more boldly than I could a little while ago. But I do find it very hard to say anything on these subjects to an old man. I pray to be enabled to do so, when the occasion comes, with courage, but al- ways with deference and respect. " I have lately had some conversation with one of my brother officers who began the Christian course about the same time as I did, but became a sceptic afterwards. I think I see a re-awakening. Oh ! help me in praying that soon, < in returning and rest, he may be saved ;' that accepting the mercy w^hich the Gospel reveals, he may soon tind the reality, the joy, the delight of the religion of Jesus Christ. " Thank and bless all who have prayed for me and my regiment during the time of the pestilence. Especially thank your beloved friend, Mrs. Mac- kenzie and her family, and Dr. Tetley and their friends, for their united prayer on our behalf. Who knoivs but that I may some day have the pleasure of thanking them myself ? One day, by the grace of God, I shall." A -^ii . 1 I C^l 136 THE HOSPITAL. rrne our he ten- whom love of at solid ig unto mdless )f men ken to these poor suffering creatures of the love of God, but by < looking unto Jesus V And to whom could I im- I)lore them to look, but Jesus ? Baptismal regenera- tion,church privileges, the sacramental system,confe8- sion, and priestly abfolution may do for some people when m health, but no smile of joy from a sick man, I believey would ever be the fruit of such miserable comforters in the last hour. When a dying man can say or feel, * I know that my Redeemer liveth,' he wants no more ; it is Jesus ne thirsts for and longs to hear about. I have witnessed the effect of even the name of Jesus. I have noticed a calm and peaceful look pass more than once over the ghastly face of the dying as that blessed name passed my lips. May we not hope, dearest sister, that (as it was with the dying thief) even at the hour of death, faith in the blood of Jesus, breathed nito the soul by the Holy Ghost, has set more jewels in the Redeemer's crown from among the soldiers of the 97th Regiment ? God grant that when you and I are summoned before the bar of Christ we may meet many such, * clothed with white robes, and palms in their hands !' <^ It is sad to think what harm even well-intention- ed people may do by wandering away from the cross in their dealings with sick men. I remember I used often to visit at Halifax a Corporal Craney, of the 42d Highlanders, who was left behind in Hospital when his regiment went away. One evening when I went to see him, he said to me, * I am so glad you are come. Sir, for you always speak to me of Him of whom I love to hear, even Jesus my precious Sa- viour. But just now, Sir, I had a visit from a gen- tleman, who laid to me, with a loud voice and harsh tone, " Now, are you sure you have repented of your sins ? Are you certain you are not deceivmg your- self?" ' Now, is not this worse than useless, when a man has given clear evidence of repentance and living faith ? When one has reason to suspect the U^ % ::n 138 THE HOSPITAL. I f, i ' • '■ ••. ■•r '.' : ■••■ P ; * ^ u _dt sincerity of a man who professes faith in Jesus, then, still keeping before his eyes the cross of Christ to prevent despair, probe and search him deeply, and endeavour to make him examine himself; but never open a wound without instantly giving the remedy. There aie hypocrites in the world, we all know — men who, while they talk with earnestness of their love to the Saviour, yet virtually crucify Him in their lives ; and much scandal is brought by them on the Church of Christ. But it is not the preaching of a free Gospel, as some suppose, that inMkes them so, but their own total ignorance of thn saving doctrines of the cross, and of the power of the Holy Ghost upon their hearts. " I do not think I ever told yon of Craney's happy death. Shortly before he breathed his last, he asked Dr. Twining to read Romans viii. to him. As he read, the dying man's breath became shorter and his face brighter ; and as the last words fell upon his ear, * Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord' — he said, ^ Thank you, Sir : that mil do,^ and died. " I have no news to tell you, my darling sister. You will, of course, have heard of the grand victory gained by the allies over the Russians. Whilst I would not have missed the time of the cholera, or have been absent a day while my regimei^t suffered from its ravages, yet, I must confess, 1 skould have wished to have been now at the post of danger — the proper place for a soldier. I do not think my chief mo- tive in this desire is the wish for military distinction, although ready and willing to do my duty as a soldier. I trust my motiv^es are in accordance with Christ. The carnage of the battle-field has no attractions for me ; but there is a wide field for missionary labour, when the roar of the cannon has ceased, and the deadly strife is over. There are wounded men who have souls to THE HOSPITAL. 139 Iff doctrines be saved, and dying men to be told lo * look to Je- sus ;' not to speak of the comfort to a poor soldier of having a < friend in need.' Of this I am sure, that the private soldiers are most grateful for any kmdnes.s from an officer, especially when they are sick and in hospital, and they think and talk much of officers who thus visit them, and endeavour to cheer them in their dreary wards. But as God has so ordered it that we should remain here, I desire to give up my own will about it." There was a tone about his letters during the latter part of the month of September, which impressed us with the idea that ids health and spirits were somewhat failing. For some time after the trial of the cholera season was over, he continued to be a constant visitor at the hospitals, where fever cases were still numerous. But doubtless, it was the ex- tent of his exertions during those weeks when he had watched day and night beside the suiFering and the dying, with an intensity of interest in their undying souls, which produced too severe a tension of his ner- vous system ; so that, when the call for exertion had passed away, he sunk into a state of extreme physi- cal weakness. This, in its turn, produced a mental depression, which ca«t its shadow upon his religious experience. No man could be so keenly alive to spiritual joy without an equally exquisite susceptibi- lity to spiritual suffering. " Where you find your greatest pleasures," said an old Divine, " there ex- pect your deepest sorrows." Yet how different are these from " the sorrow of the world which w^orketli death." In a lettei, written early in October, Hedley Vicars thus expresses himself: *' You seem to know my state by intuition, and never fail to speak comfort to my heart and soul by your letters. What dark and cloudy days are these, M n: t. , 1 t : ■ 1 I: t i ; 140 THE HOSPITAL. 1 < i' >U' ■'■. to one whose heart has tasted how sweet and precious Christ is, when the Saviour withdraws the light of his countenance, and seems to leave the soul (whom, nevertheless, He has promised — blessed truth!— NEVER to forsake), when those glorious promises, which were ' the joy and rejoicing of the heart,' fall heavily on the ear, and fail to bring Jesus home to the soul. I suppose I have a more than commonly stony heart, but the Lord is softening it, and causing me, at any rate, to wish to be more like Christ. << At first, when I heard that my precious L. had been ill — whilst I knew the Lord would not afliict Avillingly — I found myself a most unbelieving crea- ture, when faith was most wanted ; and even now, whilst I am praying most earnestly for her, and for you, and for L e to be fully restored to health and strength, I fear that it is not with that humble sub- mission to our Father's will, which true faith in his love should impart, following the example of our blessed Redeemer, in saying, * Not my will, but Thine be done.' " But it was not for any length of time that the Master, who loved him, left his faithful servant to walk in darkness, and have no light, or at best with but a twilight glimmering from that Sun of Righteous- ness, who was about to rise again and shine upon his soul with healing in his wings, and scarcely to with- draw Himself any more, until the everlasting day broke, and the shadows of death fled away. On the 18th of October he writes : " I have but just emerged from clouds which have obscured Jesus from my view. I seemed to wander in thick darkness, without my loving Redeemer near to be my stay and delight. But great blessings are often sent to us after short trials ; and such I think I am now finding. The Lord Jesus has arisen upon me, and has made His glory manifest to my soul. I I 1 THE HOSPITAL. 14*1 » ind precious he light of 3ul (whom, id truth!— s promises, heart,' fall BUS home to I commonly md causins IJhrist. ious L. had d not afflict eving crea- even now, her, and for ) health and umble sub- faith in his nple of our y will, but ne that the servant to t best with Righteous- ne upon his \y to with- lasting day rhich have to wander jemer near pssings are I thmk I risen upon ly soul, I feel less tied doion to this worla than I did, and more ready < to depart and be with Christ.' Sometimes I long to do so, from fears lest I should ever (I will not say fall away,) but do anything which would dis- honour mjr Saviour. And yet what is this but cow- ardice — wishing to leave the battle-strife of earth for the repose of heaven, with Jesus ? Oh, rather would I wait patiently, and look for the coming of 1 the Lord ! Shall we not hail that bright and glorious j day ? ^ The Spirit and the Bride say. Come,' and our hearts echo, < Come, Lord Jesus!' Then shall no anxious fears for those whom we love, disturb our hearts, warning us that the joys of friendship and of love must end for a time in the cold and dreary grave, for then we shall be changed for ever, and < the body [of this death' shall be < fashioned like unto his [glorious body,' and we shall be together with the Lord, beholding the majesty of Him who was slain for us — of Jesus, the Kinij^ of kings, and Lord of 1 lords. * * * " 1 knew you would enter into my disappointment I in not having been ordered on to the Crimea ere this. To say I have not felt it (yes, and deeply, too !) would be saying what is not true. But I hope I can lleave it now in the hand of my God and Saviour, [sure that He orders everything for the best. " And is it true that William Gregory is dead ?* lit grieved me very much to hear it. I loved him so heartily, and cannot help sorrowing for him. I had ISO looked forward to his honest, kindly welcomes Iwhen I get back to England, if God spare me to re- |turn. But we shall walk and talk of Jesus again, in |his presence, I believe. " I greatly enjoy the thought that you three are - *A railway workman, at one time employed at tl:e ICrystal Palace, who was leported to havedled of cholera, ■but has survived to mourn his friend. i •! W: ':■ ■' I 142 THE HOSPITAL. < c • % \}if I r reading the second lesson for llie morning each day ivilh me. It aiids not a little to my pleasure. I have lately changed my quarters, and have now got a palace of a room, with a beautiful view of the sea, or rather, the harbour. *' Nares and Macgregor are in the same building with me, and Ensign Derman,* who was lately pro- moted from Serjeant-Major, and in whom I am much interested ; so that I am surrounded by those I should wish to have near me. With Derman I have had several most delightful conversations, and I believe he will come out boldly on the Lord's side. Deci- sion and courage at first are absolutely necessary for an officer who wishes to become a soldier of the cross. Without such he will have endless diflicul- ties and trials, and will have no peace given him by those who oppose, until he returns to the allegiance of the god of this world, or ehe fcarlessbj shotvs his colour s,^^ There was another trial to which he was to be sub- jected, which though short, w^as not slight to a heart 80 keenly alive to anxiety regarding those it loved. Early in October it was stated at the Horse Guards that the 97lh had been ordered on to the Crimea. But a delay was occasioned by the want of a transport at Malta to convey the 3d Bulls to replace the 97th in the Pirajus. On the 15th of November, with the Orin- oco again for their transport ship, in the highest spir- its, this gallant regiment proceeded to the Crimea, " eleven hundred strong." In ignorance of this de- lay, Hedley Vicars' family and friends addressed their letters to the Crimea from the middle of October. ♦Ensign, afterwards Lieutenant, Dernnan, an officer of great promise and of high religious principle, who was raised fronn the ranks, and afterwart's promoted to the Ad- jutancy of his regiment. He was mortally wounded in the trenches before Sebastopol on the 18th of August, 1855. When nation omittci the ne IS mor gentlef those solitary But brough conside though heart a seat of" had en hospita the sad tortures tary acl In a( prospec genial i his con and de-v the wel His ings on "The ment to ation to now on probabb busily j much tn opportun I ll 'tl THE HOSPITAL. 143 I When the mistake was discovered, no small self-accu- pation was felt, for a want of forethought in having omitted to despatch letters to both quartei's, until the news had arrived that he had sailecf. But now it IS more painful still to read the anxious inquiry and gentlest reproach, more implied than expressed, to those who would never williufjly have caused one solitary pang to that gallant, noble, tender heart. But the stirring change ni hin circumstances, brought about by the order from the Horse Guards, considerably diverted hie attention from these anxious thoughts. It has been seen how ardently his soldier heart and missionary spirit alike yearned to be at the seat of war. That devoted constancy of courage which had enabled him to face Death in the pestilential hospital — stripped of all his glories, and clothed in the sad garb of weakness and decay, yet armed with tortures, was now to be exercised in the field of mili- tary action. In addition to the excitement of this immediate prospect, new responsibilities, full of interest for his genial spirit, now devolved upon him. He obtained his company, by purchase, on the 3d of November, and devoted himself with almost latherly interest to the welfare of his men. His own letters will best tell his thoughts and feel- ings on leaving Greece for the Crimea: « '•' Piraeus, Nov. 2nd, 1854. " The order has at length arrived for ' the 97th Regi- ment to hold itself in readiness for immediate embark- ation to join Lord Raglan's army.' The Buffs are now on their way from Malta to relieve us, and will probably be here in two or three days. We are all busily preparing for active service, so I have not much time to spare ; but as there may not be another opportunity, I hasten to write a few farewell lines. .t ' i :n? :'.'(■ 144 THE HOSPITAL. « ( I* There are times when the heart leels more power- fully drawn to tliose whom it loves best. It is so with me now, as I recall to mind that beloveil friend with whom I have had such heavenly inter- course, and from whom I have ever experienced such kindness as I can never forget. May the great God who has kept and preserved us until this day, continue to guard and watch over you, and may your hope, and joy, and love increase, as you journey on the homeward road towards that happy land wnere .Tesus reigns, and where He is w^aiting to receive us! " Before this letter reaches its destination, we shall probably be in front of the enemy. God alone knows whether we shall ever meet again in this world ; but, after all, what are the few short years we might have lived in the enjoyment of each other's friendship, here, compared to that endbss eternity we shall spend together beyond the grave? My soul has lately had to weather many a stormy billow, but (and 1 know it will delight your heart, ever dearest friend, to hear it) I feel quite peaceful and happy now ; my own strength was feeble to resist ; but Jesus has con- quered Satan, and never did I love that blessed Savi- our more than I do on this day. "* Through all the changing scenes of life, In trouble and in joy. The praises of my God shall still My heart and tongue employ. ** ' Of His deliverance I will boast, Till all that are distrest From my example comfort take, And charm their griefs to rest.' " Yesterday I was on guard. About twelve o'clock at night, whilst reading 2 Cor. v., I had such inward joy and peace and comfort, that 1 felt strongly inclin- THE HOSPITAL. 14.5 power- It is so be lo veil y inter- Brienced be great his day, lay your jrnev on 1 wnere receive • we sball e knows rid ; but, e miffht endship, ^e shall soul has but (and 3t friend, low ; my has con- ed Savi- life, e o'clock I inward inclia- ed to awaken the poor fellows who were stretched asleep on the j^uard-bed in the adjoining room to pray with them, and to talk to them of the love of Christ ! And thus it is (for it seems so seliish to keep all tliis liappiness pent up in one's own heart whbn it might be shared by others), whenever I have been brought nearest to my Saviour, even < into the holiest by the blood of Jesus,' I have been constrained and forced, » while the fire burns,' to ' speak with my tongue,' and to make use of the golden hours of communion with Jesus in the solitude of my chamber, to publish, when * I go Tvithout the camp,' what the Lord Jesus has done for my soul ; even for mey than whom a man more undeserving of his mercy does not exist. I felt so merry and happy in that miserable guard-room yesterday. I always make it a rule, after reading to the men the ^ orders of the guard,' to warn them against the too prevalent habit of swearing, and, to my great delight, during my whole tour of duty, I did not hear one oath ; and, in addition to this, I had the pleasure of hearing several times the rustling of the leaves of the tracts I had given them: and two or three times as I passed through their room I could see them poring over them ; and about nine o'clock in the evening, Sergeant Stephens, drawing his chair (an empty cask turned upside down) near the fire, proposed to read aloud, to which a general assent was at once given, and he read a tract called < The Young Naval Officer' to a most at- tentive audience. I was reading my Bible when he commenced, and I could not help stopping and listen- ing. I cannot tell you how happy I felt as I heard him recountmg the history of a soul brought to Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, and earnestly did I pray that some of those poor fellows migh* also be led to behold that same Saviour bleeding for them on the cross. *< It grieves me to think of the sorrow it will cause I *l, iJ ■ I i' 146 THE HOSPITAL. c ' • » to my L and to you should anything happen to me : but for myself, 1 fear not. If I were trusting to myself in any way, I might indeed tremble at the whistling of every bullet, and dread beini? summoned in an instant before the judgment-seat of Christ ; but I can see no cause for alarm, even at the verv mo- ment when soul and body are about to separate, with the crimson cross in full view. *'* For ever here my rest shall be, Close to Thy bleeding side : This all my hope and all my plea : For me the Saviour died.' " I intend to carry constantly about with me a Testament, my little hymn-book, that precious little Book of Psalms you gave me, and also your last gift, which I have found such a feast to my soul, < Haw- ker's Morning Portion.' I think with these I can get on very well in the Crimea. I had a large meeting of officers in my room for prayer last Sunday afternoon. A number of the sergeants and corporals were coming next Sunday, but I suppose we shall not spend another Sunday here ; however, there is nothing to prevent our having our little meetings in the Crimea. ^*I received your precious letter of the 15th on my return from a march into the country this afternoon. 1 thank God you are all well again. Thank you again for your deeply-valued prayers, and thank all those who have so remembered me. May such proofs of Christian love lead me in like manner to re- member, when I kneel before the Lord, all my friends and acquaintances. The cholera has broken out at Athens, and several people have died ; but, from ac- counts received to-day, it appears to be already sub- siding. ^^ The French troops quartered here are anxiously expecting the arrival of the transports to take them on pros 'ihia ■^f 1 . • i •* THE HOSPITAL. 14.7 to the seat of war. I pity the poor Buffs, who are to re- lieve us, and remain m this dull place. The whole 97th Regiment, officers and men, are delighted at the prospect of measuring their strength with the * Roo- shians' (as the soldiers call them). *^ There cannot be a doubt that it is a just war we are engaged in ; and therefore I say with them the sooner we are ' let loose' the better. I think the Russians will find the ' ('elestials' rather awkward customers to deal with ; nous verrons / There are liomc! people, I know, who cannot imagine how any Christian could ever join the deadly strife of battle ; but I can only say that with such I do not agree (and I am suro vou do not either), so that 1 shall not flinch from doing my duty to my Queen and country, the Lord being my helper. " I consider war to be a dive calamity, but as much a visitation from the Almighty as cholera or any other .scourge ; and as on the appearance of that dreadful malady, we do not sit quietly clown and let it take its course, but very rightly (trusting in the blessing of (lod) use every precaution, and employ every means to drive it from amongst us, so in the case of this war with the Russian despot. He has made an aggres- sion upon a country (one of our oldest allies) which had given him no just cause of provocation, and has thus disturbed the peace of Europe, and let loose upon us the horrors of war, and shall we Britons let him have his own way, and tamely look on ? God forbid ! Rather will we, the Lord being our 'Shield and buckler,' crush the evil, and restore peace and quiet- ness to the land. " A larg » steamer came in this morning for two French regiments that are to go on to the Crimea. We are anxiously looking out for om* steamer." " On board the Orinoco, November 17th. " The ship came into the Piraeus so unexpectedly, .' *';! 148 THE HOSPITAL. » • f . 1 : ;;. ''i and was off again with lis on board so very soon, that I had not a moment's time to write to you at starting. << The little packet, sent in SeptembeVy arrived the day before we left Greece. 1 cannot tell you what de- light it gives me. Williams has, indeed, been most successful. The little picture has really the beauty of a miniature with the truth of a daguerreotype. No- thing else in the world could have been of so much value to me. It brings her so forcibly to my me- mory. . . . God grant I may soon have good news of you all. " I cannot imagine why I have not heard for so long a time. You would not, I know, willingly de- prive me of my greatest earthly solace. " Farewell now, dearest, best of friends. May grace and peace be multiplied unto you ! ^< I have much to distract me now ; but, in < look- ing unto Jesus,' I find still, as in happier times, com- fort and peace. ^< Blessmgs on you all. " Ever your most deeply attached friend and bro- ther, ^^Hedi^ev Vicars." * 1 • , il •• kL li.,.: ■ h 1' IX.— WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. '' ■ i. •.I •'The feigned retreat, the nightly ambuscade, The daily harass, aiid the nghl delayed. The long privaiion of the hoped supply, The tenlless rest beneath the humid sky. The stubborn wall, that mocks the leaguer's art, And palls the patience of his baffled heart : Ofiliese they had not deemed. The battle day, Tiiey could encounter as a veteran may ; But mere preferred the fury of the s^trife And present death lo hourly suffering life." The it: -iiies of the winter before Sebastopol have passed ir* ; : ory. It is not needful here to describe the suffer 'j of our country in the persons of her "bravest sons, or to recall the unforgotten story of her dearly-bought victories. Battles won, against over- whelming numbers, on the cold soil of the Crimea, by weary men, worn down by hunger, bore terrible witness to the quenchless nature of British courage. The men who stormed the heights of Alma — who, in the dreadful fight of Inkermann, conquered again amidptfogs and darkness — who at Balaklava, '* charg- ed a whole army, while all the world wondered ;" — such men had proved their steel. Yet there is a limit to human endurance ; and when men of this mould have been seen to weep* as on night after night, suc- ceeding days of starvation and toil, they were order- ed to their work in the freezing trenches, who can es- timate the exhausting misery they had first endured ? * Crimean Correspondeice. i2 lf>0 WINTER BEi'OUE SEBASTOPOL. 4 i^ 1. ■ it was amidst scenes like these, and sadder still — on the mud-floor of the hospital-tents, tliat Hedlcy Vicars' faith was to have its last trial. Sharing, as he did, in no slight measure, the general toil and pri- vation, with the superadded amount of suffering in- separable from his power of strong sympathy, he was ever fulfilling the apostolic injunction, " Bear ye one another's burdens." His faith was not permhted to waver. Through the long dark night of that winter, its lamp never wanted oil, but burnt with a clear and steady light which cheered, not only those around, but also cast its bright reflection upon praying spirits three thousand miles distant. From the north of Scotland lo the south of England, there were people of God, who gave Him thanks for the cheerful hope, and faith working by love, which breathed through the language of this young soldier's letters. It has been remarked by a keen observer of human nature, who himself passed through the same ordeal, that in the course of that winter in the Crimea, the individual characteristics of men stood out in more striking colours than could have been seen under other circumstances. The selfish became more te- naciously selfish than before, whilst those who were capable of rising to the heights of self-denial, lived a life of daily heroism. The reader will be prepared to hear that Hedley Vicars ranked amongst the last. To give only one or two of many instances which have been mention- ed by his brother officers, or by the men of his regi- ment, is all that can be requisite here. During the severe cold of that winter, the only bed he allowed himself was made of stones and leaves, until a fur rug arrived from England, which he felt was invested with a kind of claim of friendship to be retained for his own use. Everything else which ♦' i WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 151 r still ediey [g, as d pri- iLj; in- e was /eone ted to : inter, ar and :ound, spirits lidand, iks for which Idler's :iuman )rdeal, ;a, the more under )re te- ) were lenial, led ley ly one ntion- ? rej^i- ly bed eaves, ^iC felt hip to which could bear the name of luxury, or even of common comfort, was given to the deeper necessities of the suffering soldiers. Towards the end of November, he was in command of an outpost, which was not only an important posi- tion, open to the attack of the enemy, but was also a Picquet, furnished by the 97th. On either side of it were hills, covered with stunted brushwood : in front was a ravine, leading to Sebastopol. Here, by day, a subaltern was in command of fifty men ; by night, the captain on duty with fifty more. The first force was then sent up to a cave on the left of the ravine, where a breastwork had been thrown up. For nearly three weeks, the party defending the outpost had to sleep in the open air, or at best under roofing made of bushes, through which the wind and rain freely *" penetrated. At length, however, two tents were pitched — one for the company, the othei- for its otii- cer. Hedley gave up his own tent to his men, and continued to rough it in the open air, considering him- self more hardy than many of them.* There is in many of his letters at this time a sin- gular combination of almost apostolic devotedne.^s and love, with the gallant ardour of the soldier — leading to an almost boyish anticipation of a ^^ brush with the Russians." Perhaps the best illustration ol this twofold life, so to speak, is given in the following letter : TO LADV RAYLEIGir. Camp before Sebastopol, Nov. 29th, 1854. " My own Darling Clara — I received your de- *This circumstance was also mentioned lo the writer, with grateful appreciation, by a private of the 4th Light Dragoons, when in hospital in England, many months af- terwards. He said, " ft had been much thought ot amongst soldiers in the Crimea." 1' 1 < * '•'■V . I > 152 VriNTER BEFORE SIBASTOPOLi lightful letter yesterday, together with three from Beckenham. 1 think I never had a richer treat. I was grieved to hear of your severe illness, but thank God you are now recovering. It rejoices my heart to hear that you enjoyed so much of tne presence of the Lord Jesus. When sickness is thus blessed, how earnestly can we say with David, ' It is good for me to have been afflicted ;' I love the Lord for having brought me closer to Himself. God grant that when Jrou are restored to health you may never forget the ove of that blessed Saviour who was with you in the long hours of pain and weariness, when no earthly friend could help you. " 0, beloved Clara, may the merciful pity and love of Jesus constrain each of us to adore Him more, and to give up our whole hearts to Him ! Let us earnest- ly pray for more faith in His atoning sacrifice, ^ for the love of Christ' is but an empty sound to us until we have by faith seen Him nailed to the cross for us. Oh, may we ever think of Jesus as our best and dearest Friend and Brother, one whose loving-kind- ness never changes ; and then, in that great day, when the thorny crown shall be replaced by the royal diadem, and Jesus as Lord of all shall ask, ' Lovest thou me V oiir hearts may be able to answer with humility, and yet with confidence, * Lord, thou knowest all things ; thou knowest that I love thee.' . . . Thank you for praying for me. I must tell you that I never was in better health than at this time, nor in better spirits, as far as I am myself con- cerned. **' We had delightful weather while sailing up the Bosphorus ; the scenery was charming, but the large white hospital at Scutari gave me rather a sickening feeling at my heart. In the Black Sea we encounter- ed very stormy weather, but came all safe in sight of the Crimea on the afternoon of the 19th, and the same night anchored in a small bay. The sea was cover- w . ree from treat. I )ut thank ^ heart to ice of the 5ed, how )d for me )r having lat when orgei the ou in the ) earthly and Jove nore, and 1 earnest- fice, 154 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. V . J /?t 1 9 i i 1 1 ! t • • i" f, this. About ten o'clock 1 read by the light of the first bivouac fire, Psalms xxiii., xc, and xci., with Captain Ingram, and derived great comfort and peace from them. One of my brother officers came up to warm himself whilo 1 was reading, and begged me to go on (not that I had any intention of stopping.) Gorl grant that he may soon find " a dwelling in the secret place of the Most High," even in the heart of the Lord Jesus ; and be able to say, < The Lord is my Shepherd, I will not fear w^hat man can do unto me.' Resting on Jesus, my precious Saviour, I went to sleep securely. My bed wasnmdo of dry leaves, with a stone for the pillow, and but for the biting cold, I should have slept like a top. <^ The regiment fell in at day break. We had a fine view of the surroundmg country. Encamped on our rioht was the briii^ade of Highlanders, their tents stretching away on the heights above us. Beneath lay the burial-ground, in which the Turkish soldiers were continually burying their dead. Far away in our front was the plain with the battery beyond, in endeavouring to take which the Light Cavalry suf- fered so fearfully. Through our telescopes we could see the Russians moving about like bees. Our lines are very extensive, and naturally strong, all the cor dry around being hilly. I took a stroll into the country, and enjoyed the First Epistle to the Thessa- lonians, sitting in the dry bed of a mountain torrent. From the top of a mountain range covered with brush- wood, I had a fine view of the cavalry encamp- ment. " In the afternoon 1 walked into Balaklava, a mise- rable place, the streets indescribably dirty. Many British, French, Turkish, and Tartar soldiers were moving about in all directions. I saw several men of the Guards looking very different to the appear- ance they present in St. James' Square, with un- washed faces, tattered coats, and trousers patched 1 .' WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 155 witli red and gray. Dead cattle were lying by the wayside, and others were quietly dying. The con- dition of the once beautiful horses of the Scots Greys was such, that a butcher would have been ashamed to be seen driving one in his cart. " Our things are still at Balaklava, and so are the stores ! But my servant managed to get a piece of bullock for my subalt(3rn and myself, on which we fared sumptuously. " In the night we heard a sharp lirii.g of musketry ; it lasted some time, relieved occasionally by the booming of artillery. Next day we heard that Lieu- tenant Tryon and lifteen men of the Ritie Brigade had been killed in a brush with the enemy's advanced picquets. However, our fellows completely defeated them and took their position. " On the morning of the 22d we received the or- der to march for the lines before Sebastopol, and came in sight of the white tents of the French and English, after a rouuh march of seven miles. Vestisfes of war were to be seen all along the road. Ten dead horses were laid in one place side by side, and the ground was strewn with shell and roundshot. The Zouaves turned out as we passed their camp, and cheered us most vociferously. We returned the cheer with aa hearty a goodwill, and soon after reached our ground. The tents were soon pitched, and, although very wet, I never slept more soundly in my life. We were scarcely settled, when the rolling of cannon from Se- bastopol and the French and English batteries be- gan, and I may say, that ever since they have been gomg at it continually. <<0n the morning of the 25th I walked up the hill in our front, and had a fine view of the magnificent fortress and harbour of Sebastopol. I could clearly see the masts in the water across the mouth of the karbour, where the Russians have sunk their men-of- war. Whilst admiring the place, a cannon ball from *»■ iff 11 'i ir'i, 156 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. t '.I* one of their batteries whizzed past my ear. 1 was afterwards told that the Russians think nothing of fir- ing shell and round-shot when they see even one of our fellows. This seems to me like a sportsman going out to shoot snipe with a rifle. The weather has been very stormy, and our poor men are dying fast from cholera, brought on by exposure and want ot warm clothing. We have already buried about twenty-two in four days, and a great number are in hospital. ^' The duty has been very severe in the trenches, distant about three miles from our camp. I was in them from five in the afternoon till five next morning, and also on out-lying picquet the whole of the follow- ing night, sleeping in the open air, with a few bushes over me. I could hear the tolling of a great bell in Sebastopol, and the voices of the Russians working at their fortifications, as plainly as could be. On the night of the 27th I took a prisoner who was prowling about, fully believing 1 had hold of a live Russian ; but on examining him by daylight he turned out to be only a Turkish soldier ! their long light grey coats are so mucli like the Russians. No hope of ' ca- taracts' now. Indeed for a day or two I had not water enough to fill a bath for a midge ! But yes- terday I got a pint to wash my face and hands with, for sorely they needed it. We have nothing to com- plain of in the way of rations. I get one pound of salt pork and as much biscuit as I can eat every day. The other day my subaltern and a party of men gave chase to a young bullock close to the Rus- sian lines. They caught him, and we made a capi- tal dinner of part of him this afternoon. " We are all anxiously waiting for Lord Raglan to storm Sebastopol ; for, though we must lose many in doing it, yet, anything would be better than see- ing our fine soldiers dying as they are daily. What should be done is to go at it at once, without more dilly-dallying! a WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 157 I or " I have not seen a clcrf^yman or a missionary yet. How I should enjoy meeting' one who would talk to the men simply about the cross of Christ ! The Holy Chost always blesses such preaching. We have meetiui^s in my tent for Scripture-reading as often as we can get toL^ether, and delightful seasons they are. ?? " December 1st. <^ I have just returned iVoiu another night in the trenches. The rain is descending iji torrents. Last night, whilst standing opposite an embrasure, serving out to my men their allowance of grog, a shea whizzed over my head witliin a foot. The men mado a most humble salaam, but I soon g(it them on their legs again, by threatening to withhold the spirits. The enemy gave us a few more shots, one of which liit the ground so near as lo send tlu' gravel into my face. " The accounts oltlie Russians killing our wound- ed olficers and men are too true — conlirmed by all here. Poor vSir Robert Newman was left wounded on the ground during the temporary retreat of his re- giment, the Grenadier (iuards ; when they returned, he was found stabbed through the head and body in several places. ** 1 saw the rude tablet erected over his grave at Balaklava. These words are engraved on it — < And I say unto you, my friends. Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear : Fear Him, which after He hath killed/hath power to east into hell ; yea, I say unto you, Fear Hun.' (Luke xii. 4, 5.) " We all hope soon to have an opportunity of thrashing these savages, and have not a doubt we shall do so when we come across them. " I am sorry to hear of the Romish nu,rses being K ; , ^ if:-ii 158 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. i ! i ji '1 t i 1 • Bent to Scutari to attend promiscuously upon Homau Catholics and Protestants. I know enough of Popery to dread its artifices. I pray (iod to prevent them from turning away, to other mediators, any dying eyes from a dying Saviour. " In the trenches, the other day, one of our men amused us much. At the lirst shell which passed close to him, he dropped down on his back, scream- ing aloud for a doctor, for he was ' kilt entirely.' The doctor ran up to him, and asked where he had heen hit, when he exclaimed, ' Och, och, doctor ! clane through the blanket ! !' <* I have the tent to myself to-night, l^rinkley be- ing on duty in the trendies. It is curious what de- lightful dreams I have every time I fall asleep : now I am at Terling, surrounded by all your beloved faces j then again at Beckenham, with those I love so dearly ; at another time I am going to read to old Sophy ; again, sitting by the blazing fire in the drawing-room, telling tales of the war to dear John ; and awake to lind my teeth chattering in my head, a sharp stone sticking into my side, the wind howling in gusts and squalls, and a concert of cannon and small shot, with variations from English, French, Turkish, and Russian performers, instead of a chant in the hall. " It is stated that 20,000 French have landed at Eupatoria, and, as a set oil to this, that 30,000 more Russians have entered the Crimea ; but whatever their numbers may be, with God's help, we are sure to beat them. They surprised us at Irdiormann, but yet we repulsed them with great slaughter ; the Bri- tish bayonet settled the business ; they light well though ; in that battle it was a regular hand-to-hand encounter. A sergeant of the Scots Fusilier Guards told me that he saw a Guardsman and a Russian both dead, with each other's bayonets transfixed in their bodies. Campbell; a young oflicer of the 30th; WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 159 who was ill the 97th at Canterbury, had four or five balls ill his clothes ; one of them took oli' the tail of his red coat, in which was his purse, containing nine pounds ! The night before last, one of my beautiful dreams was dispeHcdby a shakinji; of my tunl, and in answer to ^ Who is there V I received the reply, * Please, Sir, a staff-ofiicer has just ridden into the camp to bid us be ready at a moment's notice ; the Russians are moving on our right flank.' ^ All right,' said I, and commending myself to my Heavenly Father, fell fast asleep again, knowing I was all ready for a moment's notice. However, we heard no more of it. While I write, musketry is hr;rd at work and cannon roaring. Our fellows say thi- Ru>;.ia:i cheer is a pitiful whine, very unlike th.,- KiUis'h 'var shout ! * * * I am so glad to hear you [jad such a pleasant visit from and . They vAio vith so much love and affection of you, deaTv^nsi«to!. that I love them more than ever. I trust w*; sl'aJ! •, ut have many happy meetings of our unhecl }'a>T\Jlie3 h:. this world ; but if God wills it otherwise, w« cannn, after all, be long separated. " I often feel sad and low when I think of deareit: ' , for I fear that he has not yet been recor^ciled to God,through the blood of the everla.!)ting covenant. If I am to die in this war, it would soothe Kiy laF-t hours were an angel to whisper that he was i^ala — safe for time and for eternity. If he once tasted how 20od and gracious the Lord is, and felt in his owii soul the safety, confidence, and peace oi abiding m Jesus, all worldly pleasures would Incc their charm for him. Cive my ^jest love to our u'eaictt mother. Oh, how my heart yearns for one rr ore cmbi-aee ! " It is with difficulty I mana.^ e to scrape together time and materials for w^-itiig. My best love to dear Edward, when yoi. see him, and to dear Lord Rayleigh. May God bless him in body and soul. My love also to dear aunt Caroline; my darling god- f I *. i!M* * I 160 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. son, and all the children, and don't forget old Sophy, Mrs. Aves, and Mrs. Richardson. Ever, my own darling Clara, your most affectionate and deeply-at- tached brother. '^ Hkdj.kv ." < 1 . AH his letters were written in tlie highest spirits on first landing in the Crimea. The ^' escape from a winter of being qnietiy shelved in the Piraeus/' as [u^ expressed it, to the centre of the scene of action, the necessity for constant activity, and the calling forth to the nttermost of his early love of adventure, <* dearer for danger*' all combined to increase his buoyant tone. '■' It is no use doing llungs by h;dves," he wrote on the 'Z'M of December, *' we must go at it hammer and tongs ! The men are dispirited, natural- ly enough, by losmg so many of their comrades from cholera. I can answer for it they would so(»n cheer up if they were letl against the Russians." if. To his second sister he writes bv the same mail, <• The rain is pouritig in torrents, but I have this night been in bed, for a wonder, so I shall have a little time to dry ; but I pity the poor fellows in the trenches — 200 men of ours nnd 7(X) of other regi- ments*. The men of all the Hrilish regiments are dying in numbers every day, and many are buried without any funeral service. We are now, to mend matters, placed on half rations; but I never was much of an epicure, so 1 am quite contented with what they give me. Indeed, 1 have no patience with fellows who are always grumbling. Our hard- ships certainly are very great, but as soldiers we ought to bear them whhout a murmur. Many offi- cers, I hear, are now resigning their commissions. I can only say, shame on those who desert their coun- try in her time of need. We all made a great mis- take in not brinsfins: warm clothing? with us iiere. I did buy a comforter, which is more thars most fej- WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 161 5> 9J iowB can say.' Thank God I am very well, and in high spirits, only hoping that Lord Raglan will soon let us try our hand on the Russians." But this soldier-like letter does not close without an expression of his deeper feelinj^s ; <' If, even now," he writes, after alluding to the distractions of the ecenes around him, ".when sin clings to us hour br hour, and the world with its passing interests so of- ten obscures the pardoning cross from our eyes, we ?^et love the very name of Jesus, how much more in leaven shall our renewed natures rejoice when we behold the Lord of glory, and sit down in the man- sions He has prepared for us ! Oh, then, precious sister, from whom I may soon be parted here. Re- member Jesus, and never be ashamed to confess Christ crucified ! Jesus has bled lor us, has redeem- ed us, has saved us. Oh, let us not cause his once- wounded lieart to bleed again for us, but, looking for heavenly aid, let us seek never to grieve Him more." On landing in the Crimea, his heart was cheered by finding a packet of letters which had been accu- mulating for three weeks or more. " I had begun to i'ear before I left the Pirasus," he wrote in another letter, " that something was wronp ; but you would liave felt with me that it was worth while to have had the suspense, if you could have seen me whilst I was reading those precious letters on my arrival here (besides my budget from Terling). My heart and arm are nerved noWf and I am utterly indifferent to hardships or external trials of any kmd. * * • It is six months since I have been within reach of a house of prayer, or have had the opportunity of re- ceiving the Sacrament; yet never have I enjoyed more frequent or precious communion with my Sa- viour than I have found in the trenches or in my tent« When, I should like to know, could one find a Sa- viour more precious than when bullets are falling around like hail ?" i I 162 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. , I * ^\ . i" Ten days later he gives an account of " such a hap- py Sabbath," and speaks of his thankfulness in re- ceiving the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper , after having been so long deprived of it ; "I am delight- ed to say we had twenty officers there. 1 like what I have seen of the chaplain to oar division, Mr. Par- ker, very much. He has hard work indeed, but seems to love it, because it is the service of Christ Jesus." In the warmth of new friendships he did not for- get old and sacred ties, as the following extract will prove : " My v'ery Dear Dr. Twining. — I have only time to write you a few lines, as I have but small leisure here, I write for two reasons : first to thank you once again for the great blessing you have been to my soul. Words cannot express how deeply grateful 1 am. You have been, in the hands of God, the means of bringing me from the hard service of Satan to the delightful service of Jesus ; and at this time, when any moment I may be called hence, I wish once more to offer you my heart's most f(?rvent thanks. God bless you, and fill you with peace and joy. May the cross of Christ ever speak comfort to your soul, and may you lind in the day of the Lord Jesus, that you have been the blessed means of bringini^' many to Him." * * * TO MISS VICARS. "J)ecember 12th. " I am for the trenches to-morrow morning at three o'clock ([ shall be relieved at six o'clock in the even- ing.) I think more of the pouring rain, and stand- ing in thick mud all the time, than of Russian grape and bullets ; but, you see we must be content to have both ! You will be sorry to hear that sickness is still prevalent; and 1 am afraid that this lain. * >j r , WIx\TBR BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 16, a hap- in re- , after eiight- e what r. Par- 3d, but Christ lot for- ct will ly time leisure nk you been to deeply ofGod, vice of at this 3nce, I forvent ce and ; to your . Jesus, ringiniif r2th. at three e even- stand- n grape itent to ickness is raiuy iv^hich began a^ain yesterday, after three days of fine weather, will fill the hospitals. Two officers and forty poor fellows were sent down to Balaklava yesterday for the recovery of their health. It was pitiable to see them. Few, if any will ever return. 1 saw them off yesterday mornin;:; • some wept as they wished me good bye. They were so de- lighted to get the tracts and Testaments 1 had brought with me, that they began reading them aloud as soon as I put them into their hands. " We have been living like princes lately. I sent my servant the other day to Balaklava to forage for me, and he returned with onions, potatoes, a ham, bread, and (would you believe it ?) a case of salt butter ! You may imagine what a dinner we had, and with what excitement we opened the tin of but- ter ; but our faces did not look so joily when our noses proclaimed that it was rancid ! However I managed to eat it, nevertheless. I have been praised by the Colonel more than once for the state my company is in, so I am as happy as possible, except for the daily diminishmg ranks of my poor regiment. Dec. ISlk. — I am, thank God, quite well — never better, and what is more, clean ! You know my weakness for ^ cataracts.' Well, I have contrived to get one every day for nearly three weeks ; but then I take more pains to get water for myself than most of the fellows. I dined to-day off soaked bis- cuit fried with lard — a capital dish ; boiled ration pork, very good ; potatoes middhng ; with mustard and salt — my wine being weak rum and water. I am sure drinking spirits is a bad plan, and, besides bemg injurious,makes a man colder than ever an hour afterwards. Each officer and man is allowed a gill of rum daily,but]I never drmk even the half of mine,oftett none at all. I went on picquet this morning at half- past four o'clock with fifty men ; it rained hard for about an hour, the remainder of the night being line. \ i^ \ > »,■* . / / 164 WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. > ■ I kept up a jolly lire all through, and endeavoured to VF rite a letter to darling mother, whilst seated opposite its blaze, but I could only get litful gleams, bright enough to see to write, so I had soon to give up. I read the First Epistle of Peter, and then folding my cloak around me, and stretching myself close to the watchfire, I was sound asleep in ten minutes, not- withstanding the roar of cannon and rattle of musket- ry which kept up a concert during the night. " Thank you, my own darling Mary, for your last dear and affectionate letter. It aftbcted me almost to tears, with its deep tone of sisterly love. Strange would it be if I did not love you fondly in return. You say my letters always < cheer and invigorate you.' •purely I may say the same if not more, of yours.' All this time the Prayer meetings were contin- ued in his tent at every opportunity , and wearied and worn out as he was after nights on picquet or in the trenches, I'req^ently before he rested he was found in the hospital tent. " In weariness and painfulness, in watchmgs often," he became " in labours more abundant," and his work of love carried with it its own reward, even at the lime, as we learn from his letter of the 15th of December, besides the blessed remembrance of the promise for the future, " Verily 1 say unto you, a cup of cold water given in my name shall m no wise lose its reward." R ^ < t,. " Camp bkfore Sebastopol, Dec. 15th. << On picquet the other night I was looking up at the bright moon and stars, thinking of the power and love of Him who made them, and of the star m the East which < came and stood where the young child lay,' and the Saviour's sorrows and sufferings from Bethlehem to Calvary passed in review before my mind. • » * This afternoon, whilst speaking to our poor fellows in the cholera hospital, who were ' I WINTER BEFORE SEBASTOPOL. 165 lying cold and comfortless on the bare ground, rays of sunshine seemed to illumine that charnel tent as I brought the crucified Saviour before those men, for tears glistened in many an eye, and the smile of hope and peace was on many a lip. I feel it indeed a pleasure and privilege to talk to my sick comrades and fellow -sinners of Jesus : and I am sure that they "who never visit the suffering and dying, deprive them- selves of the deepest happiness this life affords. It is painful, often heartrending, to witness agony we cannot alleviate ; to see the distorted face and hear the cry of anguish of friends and comrades. But it is sweet to be the bearer to them of glad tidings of joy ami peace througii the great Redeemer's atonement and love ; and to see some of them gently falling a- sleep murmuring the life-restoring name of Jesus. / have seen these, and 1 cannot Jind words to telt the delight of hope which has then filled my breast. * * * The weather, which has been for three or four days fine and frosty, is now again damp and rainy ; but I have got a pretty good tent, and the rain that does find its way through the roof, is capital for us with- (Ul times ;s ; and I this trial /Vrtillery, most de- tpirit lias oming to Scripture [ enjoyed »ital, and r fellows hem be- )rayer in ring was ler inter- uite used very line England f all out to-night. 3 enemy ay, not- this hur- tell you weather has been delightful lor the last two or throe days, al- though there has been a sharp frost morning and evening. Tiie warm clothing has arrived, so we are all jolly and comfortable. I have been very weak since my illness, and unable to write, otherwise yon may be sure, dearest mother, I should not have kept silence so loug. There is positively nothing stirring here. Stroni; firing is kept up at intervals ; but with this exception, one might really doubt whether we were in an enemy's country. The hospitals are still full, and many poor fellows die every week : but I truLt we have s<^en the worst. The; cliiiplain of our Division has gone to Knuland iuvali«led, and there is no one U) take his place, so we have no service i(jr sick or well: l)ut I mean to ask the Colonel whether I may read in the hospital nexl Simdav. Vou will he glad, precious mother, when I tell you that, al- though there have been cloudy s(?asous lor my soul, ( have generally becMi eual>led to rely on the faith- fulness of Jesus ; antl I liud sui'h comfort in looking only to Him, and trusting in His nitercession and atoning blood. Oli ! darling mother, how lonely I ieel when .lesus withdraws himself from me, and leaves me for a time to myself; but those blessed words m Isaiah have often restored happiness to my sold — ^^ For a small moment I have forsaken thee, hut with i^reat mercies wil' f gather theti. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, bin with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, suith the f^ord thy l^etleemer.' 1 (Mijoy the presence of .Jesus often now, and when He is near me I feel happy and [>eaceful. iVlay He l^ecoine mor<» pre- cious to our souls each day, and may our hearts !>• changeil gradually more and more after His likenes.^. '• (iod bless and k(?ep you all. Give my best lovt? l) my (hnir grandmother, auvl tell her I remenibe'- her m my prayers/' m 8 if; ,1 178 THE DAY-STAR RISES. . f ■- t m <^ Sunday, February 11th. " It is now eight o'clock at night, and I take up my pen to write to one whose letters always arouse me to think less of self, and more of Jesus and of the many dying sinners around me. IVIay His pre- sence ever refresh your own soul, giving you an ear- nest of those bright joys which are at God's right hand for evermore. This day of rest has nearly closed. Alas! there is but little perceptible diller- ence between the Lord's-day and other ckiys, here ; and yet I love it° return, and never feel so peaceful and joyous as on this heavenly day. (^wing to the roughness of the w^eather, there was no service for the Division ; but some of us met as usual in one of the tents, to niise our hearts in prayer and praise to our lleavfiJily l*'atlier. Alter the morning meeting I went to read and pray with the sick in hospital, and to distribute your new supply of books and tracts (with those sent by the Miss J.eycesters, for which thank thein with my kindest regards), and the bless- ed cards of prayer, for which the pcor lellows are most eager. Oh ! it is enough to make one's heart ble(Ml to see, in one hospital after nnol'ier, men dying without any kind friend or faithful minister to ilirect their hearts to the words of heavenly mercy, to point them to .lesns, and to refresh their souls by the water of life. Hut f do and will hope that many who have gone to their last lionu^ fiom this dreary camp an? now before th^' Lamb, clothed with wliiti^ robes. It is so great a comfort to believe this — and why should it not he true ? Ma > not many a broken and I'ontiite heart, drawn by a dying Saviour's love to mak(j known its wants to Tfim, and to lean its hopes of par- don and eternal life on the; blood of the cross, have received the answer of peace dinjct from IIk; nicrcy- fioat (wliere, thank (iod ! Jesus ever pleuil.-) — ' JOriter thou into the joy of thy T.ord.' " I hear much of a chaplain at l^alaklava — ^1^. by Ih point impai iiuppi ■with THE DAY-STAR RISES. 179 nth. ake up arouse and of lis pre- an ear- 's right nearly 3 (liller- s, here ; )eaceful r to the vice for u one of )raise to eeting 1 tal, and id tracts )r which he bless- lows are c-i> heart nn dyin?^ o elirect lo point ic water vho have amp ar(5 hes. It IV should c'()iUiit(i () iriake \s (»r |);ir- .•s, have ; iiici'cy- -' 1m iter Lva— Mr. Hayward — a man of devoted piety, who //rex to win souls to Chiist. He is universally respected and be- loved. *' J have now before me your letter of the '2Gih, with its mention of past distress and present thank- fulness to God for having spared my life. I conld scarcely read it all lor tears. IVlay (iod shower His best blessings upon each (»t you for all your love to me. Will you tell all who have kindly prayed for me and given thanks for my preservation, in Hecken- ham and elsewhere, thai 1 am deeply grarefnl for their Christian love. How thankful 1 am that L heard it lirst from you, beibre she saw it in the ^ Times.' *' How uneasy you mu^t have felt when you read in that interesting soldier's letter, that he hoped (iod would accept ///> own sud-^rinos and the sullerings of his blessed Saviour in atouenient for his sins, when the < blood of Jesus Christ ch^anseth from all sin.' (lod grant he may see that the way to join the bless- ed company who are arrayed with wlnt(^ robes and l)alms in their hands, is to wash his robes and make them white in the blood of thr Lanih. Oh ! ]nay ho and multitudes of the British army show thems(dves, in the last great Ji<^ht, good soldiers of .lesus Christ, and conquer through llifT\ who loved them, and died for them, and waslanl away tluMr sins in His own precious blood. Although I have often cause to grieve for mv backwardness and slothfulness in the cause of Christ, yet my he.'ut yearns over the souls of those who have not iled to the cleansiug fountain of His blood for pardon atul peace ; and often, on rising from my knees, 1 have loll so powerfully drawn by tht^ iovo of Christ f'at I havc^ been almost on the point of going out thnuigh the camp to endeavour to impart lo others th(r ground o[ my own peace and itappiness. Hut then, too (tften, when facfi to face "Willi those whom 1 know 1 shall meet at the last '; > ' t 4 T^W ISO THE DAT-STAR RISES. great day, has my courage iailed and my tongue been silent. May God forgive me for the many times I have thus acted the coward, and been asham- ed of Jesus, my dearest Friend, and Saviour, and King." *' Late at nighty February la!ly believe him to he now a true iieaited, huml)!(;-miiidod (Christian. IJe told uh\ of his having di..:r'I.)i;!(uJ llie liards of prayer ar.d tracts which fgave him to the patients in the ho.^pital lentS; and that they -I,; ■ 4 182 THE DAV-STAR RISES. • I j. •%»' • ■ J \ . 1 1 i •1 i ! were very glad to get them. He naiJ that he often went to read by the bedside of the sick and dying, and he considered it a privilege do m. We read tht» first chapter of the First Epistle of St. Peter, and prayed together btjiore parting. Ho said ho had Christian fellowship with a man named Bush in his regiment, whom he believes to be walking with (iod. He was one of your navvies of Beckenliam. Of conrsi^ you hear from him sometimes ; but a testimony of tiiis sort, not intern led for you, is very satisfac- tory." ^und(f}/ »2>r/l tell yon what, pleasure il gave m.' distributing the various tlnu'.rs amongst the men — they seemd so grateful and de- lighted; and \ am s;.ix3 you will all have the bles- sing and prayers of many. (Jroup> of iIk .a collet)- THE DAY-STAR RISES. 183 ed outside the tents to read the hymiiB and tracts tacked so enticingly to the comforters and cuffs. WliJit will you say to my theft? Aa Mr. Huleatt is gone to Scutari, I took the warm llannels for the Hick, which you had addressed to him, into my own possession, and carried them to the hospitals ;*and if you had seen (he i^ratetul looks, it would have done your hearts good. " (iive my best regards to your cousins, Mrs. and Miss Austen, and thank them for their kind gifts for the men. And do not forget to toll die servants at the Rectory how much 1 valued their contributions [ which ijuite afTocted me as I took them out for dis- tribution]. Nares has sent me a box of useful articles, with several Testaments ; alno a tin of ready ground (!) coffee, which was highly acceptable. Little Kate's satisfactory present — of not warm but hot stockings — truly amused me. May God bless the dear child and the sweet vounsr sister who is soon to leave England. '" Who do you think brought up witli his own hands your last parcel of books and prayers ? Duncan Matlieson ! He sat iu my tent some time, and we enjoyed sweet communion for nearly an hour, and, before leaving, he prayed with me. Surely it may be said of him, ho is ^ a temple of tlie Holy (Jhost.' f feel still the blessing of that visit in my soul.'' TO HIS MOTHER. "Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 19tli, 1855. <' Mv OWN Darling Mother — The long expected, l)Ox has at ..mgtli arrived, and its contents are now safely stowed away in my tent, and as the various proofs of loving remembrance from you, dearest motlier and from darling Clara, Mary, Georgie, and the children, met my eyes, I was so much aHccted that I nearly cried. Tiie things you have sent me are just wliat I wanted. ii;. • I » 184 THE DAY-STAR RISES. I \ % ■ • I; ■ i I.. • ' I I II m\' :■ I intend distributinjr tho comforters, &c.,to my man, to-morrow ; and [ Hhall lei them know who sent them, that you and my darling sisterH may not lose their prayers. Thank you, my own most precious molher, for your afrectionate remembrance of your son. This has been a delightful day. I took a short walk with one of my brother officers, to have a look from the height near which the (iuards are encamped, rather to the right of us, at the Valley of th<^ Tchernaya. Seldom have I neen a more beautiful view. The valley ex- tends three or four mile across, from our advanced posts to the Russian position on the opposite side. It 18 partly under water now, but the enemy do not trust to that to prevent ourmakiriir a nearer acquaint- ance with them, for I could plaiuly perceive, through a glass, a ('ossack vidette on the look out near the stream, and I believe swarms of them occasionally come down into the plam. <* As 1 gazed on the mugnificent scenery, on the wildness and grandeur of tho distant lofty and snow- cappunl mountains, giving- an additional charm to the surrounding loveliness, all ar(jund was so still and ('aim, that my tliouLrhls wajidored to more peaceful clime.-, and to that not far distant day, when Jesup .ihall return to this beautiful, although sin-marred world, when wars shall cease for ever, and love and holiness fill the bn>asts ofTlis redeemed people. Oh, deaio.^t mother, there are times when I long for this filial consuuiiualion of all thiii:^s. What a blessed thing it will be to serve ('hrist, with a heart wholly renewed and made like unto His, when sin can no moi;3 alllict us with its presence, or bow nsdown un- der its intolerable burden. But it is not always thus that my soul longs and prints for that great advent of my glorious and precious Saviour. Oh that I were ever waiting and ready to welcome Him, on His tri- umphant return to a world, where once < He took jilr it THE D^Y-STAR RISES. 185 y man, t them, e their Tiolher, This nih one ) height r to the Seldom ley cx- Ivancod ide. It do not iquaint- th rough lear the sionaJly , on the d pnow- Ti to the ill and )L'; ICO fid I JesuF marred vo and |le. Oh, lor this blessed wholly can no vvn un- ys thus vent of were lis tri- e took I upon Him the form of a servant^ to redeem and save sinners ! <* May He give me grace to bear Hi« (Moss, and to follow Him dady, be the way smooth or rougli. 1 have often reason to grieve tliat my love lor my Sa- viour is so small. Hut then His love ^ passeth know- ledge ;' and in looking unto Him, and taking refuge at His cross, I find sure salety, rest and peace. '* On my return to my tent, who should I find there but Mr. Duncan Malheson, the soldiers' missionary from Balaklava. He remained with me for about an hour; and I do not think I over enjoyed a more hea- venly conversation than with this man of God. We read the third chapter of I'^.phesians, and iie prayed with me. When he left, ( saw that threeof my bro- ther officers were standinii- close by ; they must have heard that fervent prayer. Wlio knows but that one of them may be led to pray for himself to-night ; God grant it ! One of those three said to me the other day, when I was in his tent, ' Vicars, I dreamt about you the other night, and I thought you were speaking to me about religion.' * Well, did you like it V I said. * Yes, very much,' he replied. May the Lord give me courage to speak faithfully and ear- nestly, and bless my feeble words to his soul's goixl, for Jesus' sake." TO LADY RAVLEIGH. ♦* Camp before Sebastopol, Feb. 23d, 1855. <' My own Most Beloved Sister — A thousand thanks for the welcome presents of warm clothing, &c., we have at length received. Everything I have yet seen is just what I wanted, even to the marmalade from darling little Clara, and Dick's and Charley's gifts. How kind of dear Edward to think of getting a fur-coat for me ! I shall write to hnn as soon as it reaches me safe and sound. I told the men to vrhom L 2 ' 1 '1 .^ -. ■« <^ . »«JV »»>». IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-S) &^ ■6r z 1.0 I.I l^|M 125 2.0 u IL25 no 1.4 I 1.6 %. HiotQgraphic .Sciences Corporation 23 WiST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. USSO (716) S72-4503 ">^ ^i; ^2 . «'. VI i'^';,:^ ' 'I 1'': f ■! lilU'i \i: (i 4ii I 1' Jl'!' ; 1! I 186 THE DAY-STAR RISES. tliey were chiefly indebted for them, and doubt not you will have the prayers of many grateful hearts offered up for you. I shall write to dearest Mary and Georgie by the next mail, to thank them for their share in the gifts. All my company are now, thanks to your kindness, well supplied with everything re- quisite to keep out the cold, and as the long boots for the troops have at last been issued, we are in want of nothing. How nice ! the work of the villagers for the Terling soldiers. Many thanks for the books you sent me. We were much in want of sermons for our Sunday tent services. I have already read several pages of Mr. Walker's memoir, and like it exceed- ingly. Oh ! that I had like him more of the < mind that was, in Christ Jesus.' That the motive of my every action were love to Jesus, and a desire to prg- mote His glory and hasten His kingdom ! I w?:at to forget selff and ever to bear in mmd that I liave been bought with a price, that I should glorify God in my body and spirit, which are His. I want to have more zeal and energy in the Redeemer's cause, and greater love for the souls he died to save ; and whilst thus laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, I want to have a stronger and more realizing faith in the blood of the Cross ; * to be clothed with humility,' that I may never rest upon anything I can do, but ever as a lost and miserable sinner, look to Jesus alone for sal- vation. May He be * lormed in us' the only < hope of glory.' May he continually dwell in our hearts, and ' fill us with joy and peace in believing.' " I have seen my old friend Cay, of the Coldstream Guards, several times, and have enjoyed a delightful Christian converse with him. I gave him seve- ral of dearest 's cards of prayer, and when I went on Sunday to the Guards' Hospital, I observed one fastened to each bed. It made me glad to see weary and dying eyes resting on the words, < God, wash ME FROM ALL MY SINS IN MY SaVIOUR's BLOOD, AND I i-t^.ttf'^tn^'fii.f,^ '^i jtAur' i> -i bt not hearts Mary )r their thanks ng re- )ots for vant of ;ers for )ks you i for our several xceed- AND I THE DAY-STAR RISES. 187 SHALL BE WHITER THAN SNOW. FiLL ME WITH THE Holy Ghost, for Jesus Christ's sake.' Oh that they may all pray it from their hearts ! " I gave the little book of Psalms to poor Longley of the band, who is very ill, and I took him also some biscuits, for which he seemed very grateful. I have long believed him to be a follower of the Lamb ; and his uniform good conduct has borne testimony to his heart having been changed and renewed by Divine Grace. I rejoice to think he can rely upon the love of his Saviour ; and even in the hour of pain and weakness. * • * Cousm Ned has not yet re- turned from Scutari ; poor fellow he has suffored se- verelv. " God bless you, my own most precious sister. Ever your most tenderly-attached brother, Hedley Vicars." to his youngest sister. February 25th. ^< Having had no less than six letters to write by the last mail, I was unable then to express to you, my own dearest Georgie, how pleasant it was to me, on opening the large box, to find proofs of your love amidst those of others. Many thanks for them, dar- ling, and for the < bag of sundries,' which contained many useful articles which only a thoughtful dear little sister like yourself would have thought of. * * Have you not reason to bless God for the illness you speak of, if it has been the means of leading you nearer to Jesus— near to God through the blood of the Everlasting Covenant, of revealing to you somewhat of the worth and beauty of the Saviour to your soul, and of giving you a hope full of immortality through His cross ! 'Surely those are blessings for which you ought never to be tired of praising our God and « 188 THB DAT-STAR RISES. I: i fa./, > -; fc ■■!^ :■• ■I 'I Saviour. I should like to hear yott exclaim with, thankful delight — " ' Oh for a thousand tongues, to sing My dear Redeemer's praise, The glories of my God and King, The triumphs of His grace ! " It is true that our feelings are variable. We have not always the same glorious views of Jesus, the same assurance of our sins having been washed out, and our person accepted, through the blood shed on the cross. But let us endeavour to seek for com- fort in Christ, and in His precious promises. View- ing ourselves as vile and sinful, let us look to Jesus as our perfect holiness, and as our complete Deli- verer from sin, and death, and hell. Thus shall we find peace, not in feeling ourselves to be good and holy, but in hourly acknowledging our wretched- ness and casting our sins upon the Saviour, and re- ceiving out of His fulness grace for grace. Strive, then, to cultivate a spirit of praise, my own darling Georgie ; you have no idea how much happiness and cheerfulness it will bring you. God bless you and fill you with all joy and peace in believing. Ever your most tenderly attached and affectionate brother, " Hedley." February 28th. " By the dim light of a very inferior tallow candle, I sit down to say the stove is come ! Never was there anything so charming. I have thrown it open to my company for cooking. It came faster than any package has yet travelled — ^by M. Peto's ship. How very kind of Mr. Wilberforce Baynes to get it sent, and so expeditiously ; it was dropped at my very tent-door, without my having to make the smallest effort to get it. And what a delightful store of books n^t^-i>/M >»-«.4, A,.^..^v*I*'^ k»fe»A-«.-<^^^"J*),.,A*-^**- THE DAT-STAR RISES. 189 you and Miss Maitland have sent ! Give my love to her ; and tell her what pleasure it gives me to give them away. Nearly every officer in the regiment has got one. I thought some would have declined, but they all accepted them most gladly. I went to the hospital and distributed several copies of that beautiful little book, < Come to Jesus.' I gave one of Ryle's hymn-books to Longley, of the band, and another to Mortimer Lovell ; and I am making a t(mr round the hospitals of other regiments, to carry cards of prayer for each. Thank your beloved sister for her supply of them and for her precious letter, which I hope to aiJcjv, er. And thank dearest Louie for her charming sketch of Beckenham Church and Rectory. How often have I, whilst looking at them, thought of the calm, heavenly hours I have enjoyed there. ii < How sweet their memory still !' Well, the time may soon arrive when I shall enjoy them again ; when we shall take sweet counsel to- gether, and walk to the house of God in company, and tell our fellow-sinners of pardon and peace through the atoning blood of a crucified Saviour. " Oh ! that the Lord God would come amongst us with a ^ high hand and with a stretched-out arm ;' that He would, by the mighty power of the Holy Ghost, change and soften the hard hearts of those who despise the riches of His grace, and who make a mock of sin whilst standing on the verge of eternity ; that He would implant the rose of Sharon, in all its freshness and fulness, on the ground of every troubled sin-laden heart ! I cannot but believe that many have died in peace and hope, for I have heard from the lips of several, in dying hours, that their only h^e was through the mercy of Him who died on the- cross. But it grieves me wheri 1 look around and see how few, very few,*" there are amongst the yet strong and healthy (who may, in a moment ! 1 ■5 > V. ! ,•) HI 190 THE DAY-STAR RISES. . ( " I be numbered with the dead) who show any love for Jesus ; but it is only through sovereign grace that we have beheld the Lamb crucified Jor us, and have been bioughl to rejoice in Him who < purchased us with His own blood,' with *joy unspeakable and full of glory.' Knowing, as I do, the sin-stamed course of my past life, and how utterly undeserving I was of being an object of God's pardoning mercy, I never despair of even the foremost in the ranks of Satan being brought to the feet of Jesus; and when I see one, for whose conversion I have prayed, becoming more hardened in sin, I comfort myself with the thought, that, < grace led my roving feet to tread the heavenly road ;' and the same constraining power may, at any moment, convince him of sm, and reveal Jesus to his soul. ** March 2d — This has been a very cold day. I went to the Light Division tents this morning, and gave away several of the tracts and cards of prayer at each of the hospitals, and shall go this evening or to-morrow, please God, to distribute them amongst the sick of the Second Division. *•• How grieved I am for poor Mrs. Halkett in this seco] ; d trial. It is, indeed, hard for one that has been so t] led to submit without a murmur to the will of God, but if she could see the happiness of her child now, she would not wish to have it back again. That beloved infant has gone to join its father ; and all three, father, mother, and child, will ere long be united, never again to be separated. Pray give her my Christian love. I hope her little girl is well. " Yesterday was a peaceful, happy day to my soul. We had two meetings for prayer and Scripture -read- ing in my tent. Besides our own little company^ we had two officers of the Artillery, Capt. Anderson *and Capt. Vandeleur, and two of the Guards, Capt. Le Couteur and Dr. Cay! The church was ratl^ too small to accommodate so many comfortably, \sk we '^■.- THE DAY-STAR RISES. 191 >ve for hat we I have sed us ,nd full course I was [ never Satan ee one, g more lought, lavenly , at any 8 to his I ig, and lay. prayer ling or mongst in this s been Iwill of r child again. ir ; and ►ng be ive her (ell. ly soul. I -read- :)n'and Le too we managed very well, and had a blazing fire the whole time ; there is luxury for you ! « The Guards are gone to Balaklava, now. Poor fellows, they are much reduced ; the whole Brigade mustering barely 250 men lit for duty. But although few are left, and those, worn and iiaggiird, they look such noble, undaunted fellows." TO HIS MOTHER. ^' Camp before Sebastopol, Mai\3h 5th, 1(S55. " Mv own Darling Mother — I am on regimental duty to-day, and the trendies this evening. This is a lovely summer^s day, but, then, to-morrow it may be siiowiiiii', for you have no idea how changeable the climate is here. I am, thank God, safe and well in "both body and soul. I never was in the enjoyment of better health rind the Lord continues to favour nio with the sunshine of His presence, filling me ^\'illl peace and joy in Jesus. Oh ! darling mother, how precious 1 find the Saviour to be to mo m tlieso perilous times — with what trust and conlidence can I place myself, both for time and eternity, beneath the shelter of His cross! How ttie know let ige of the love of Christ (that He bled for us) nerves the heart to bear patiently, if not willingly, all the trials and troubles which God may send us, and wliichwe are sure to meet with, sooner or later, in this world of tears ; but what comfort religion brings to the sou in leading us to forget the sorrows of the pres*:nt in the bright contemplation of a future world ; and how joyous, how light the heart, and how indiilerent to ail else, when Christ reveals Himself to our souls in the precious character of our dearest Friend and Brother ! With him near, to cheer and assure us, we can ' reckon that the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.' And, although clouds sometimes ho- 4^ .' \ ^H' .■^- ■; .11 .1 i.i ' ' III' , ,, " M ^ ""r';' !., I i "-''XV '''■f''5; ^ "?'. ^1. : • 192 THE DAY-STAR RISES. ver between Him and us, yet we know that He has promised < never to leave or forsake us.' I will now give you a few extracts from my Journal : <' February ^Ith. — This has been the hottest day we have had yet — quite an English June day. Gave several of the books away, from the Beckenham box, to my brother ofllcers. Took a long walk with Lieut. Cannon in the evening ; we talked on religious sub- jects, and especially on the uncertainty of life. Oh ! may we both prepare to meet our God, whenever He shall summon us hence ! The French fired several rockets from the Victoria Redoubt on the town. " 28^^. — A cloudy day, but the rain kept up until the afternoon. I went out for a walk with Harmond, but we were obliged to return. Went to the hospi- tal, gave away several tracts to the patients — amongst them a number of ' Come to Jesus." Oh ! that the Holy Ghost may lead many to find peace and rest in the Saviour! I took some jam (thanks to dear John) and biscuit to one of my company, John Carthy,for which the poor fellow was most grate- ful, although so weak and ill he could scarcely see me. Gave away some hymn-books of Ryle's to men of the band. Gave away several little books to my com- pany. <*^ March \st. — Remained in tent, writing, m the morning —a bitter cold day. Poor Carthy, of my company, died in the hospital last night, and was bur- ied to-day. Cay came to see me, but I was unable to go for a walk with him, owing to parade. Dined off beef-.^take and porter ! Had tea with Desmond and Burton. Read a chapter, and retired to rest about half-past eleven o'clock. LcrJ, do thou, in thy great mercy, keep me from forgetting what thou hast Buffeied for me in body and soul. May I never be drawn by the cares of this life from Jesus, my Friend and Saviour j but may I daily live closer to His cross. THE DAY-STAR RISES. 193 Above all, would I ask Thee lo lill mo with the Holy Ghost ! " March 2d. — A cold and snowy day. Borrowed Smith's horse, and rode over to the Light Division, ■with my pockets full of tracts, books, and cards of prayer, which I gave away to the sick of the 23d, 33d, 34th, and Rifle Bri,G;ade. Cay came in the evening, and we sallied off to^i^ether to the camp of the Second Division, where we distributed several more to the 41st, 49th, and 62d Regiments. We then called on Vandelenr of the Artillery. He was not at home. We sat in his tent for nearly an hour. I read aloud the Thirteenth of Hebrews — took tea with Porter and Cannon. ^* March 3r/.— Having invited Cay to dinner to-day, I despatched my servant Keating to Balaklava, for some fresh meat and flour (to make a pudding). Took a stroll in the morning with one of my brother officers (Lieut. Goodenough), towards the TTiird Division, and again in the afternoon towards the Victoria Redoubt. " We dined at five o'clock, ofl' baked mutton and potatoes (done in the candle stove dearest sent me), and soup, plum pudding, bread, cheese, and a bottle of porter. We afterwards spent a most plea- sant evening together, I read a little tract called * Believe and Live,' r? lit sunshine, so we are i lire wing off our winter clothing. 1 am s'^rry to say we ate to be removed from our present ground to where the Light Division is encamped ; but soldiers ought not to grumble at inconveniences. Yesterday I visited the hospitals, and read the Twelfth of Hebrews, and prayed with a poor dying man, w^ho beckon- e:l me to do so when 1 was at the other end of the ward. He was low and wretched ; but he seemed comforted when I spoke to him of that * blood which cleanseth from all sin,' and told him of the dy- ing love of Jesus. I do hope that he and I shall meet in heaven, clothed in white robes. TFB DAY-STAR RISES, 199 <»' NothinjT new hero. Report savs the Czar is dead ! Can it be true ? Sickness is on the decrease, and we are al] as lively as kittens ! " Mirck l(}lh. — Many, many thanks for your dear letter of the 1st. I cannot tell you how much I re- joice in the improved accounts of the Duke of Man- chester, for your last had made me very unea'i'tii> t:: 5r I I '^1 French had 200 killed and wounded ; and the Rifles lost eleven men. We are anxiously expecting our batteries to open in good earnest ; but they say there is not quite enough shell or shot up yet. Nothing could be more favorable than the weather has been lately, and the roads are in capital condition. My love to your beloved father, and sister, and brother- in-law, to Mrs. M , and to dearest Louie. I en- close a letter to my oion h . (Jod bless you, my own most beloved mother-sister. How delighted I am you told me the day which is appointed for national prayer. We shall keep it in the camp, too,plea6e God. Jesus is near, and very precious to my heart and soul. May He ever be to you also, my own second mother. Ever your most warmly attached son and brother, << Hedley Vicars." On the Sabbath which followed — his last on earth — he seemed to have climbed, like Moses, the Mount whence this promised land is seen ; and to have caught the twilight dawn of the Eternal Sabbath so near at hand. Amidst unceasing work for his Mas- ter, he entered at the same time, in his mortal mea- sure, ^* into the joy ol his Lord." A serene happi- ness filled his soul as he went, in the intervals be- tween the tent services, with the message of peace to the hospitals of other regiments. The morning service was conducted in Major Welsford's hut, where the usual number assembled. In the after- noon they were joined by Captain Crofton and Cap- tam Anderson, of the engineers.* Hedley Vicars seemed peculiarly to enjoy these hours of social prayer. In the evening he met Major Ingram in Lieutenant Derman's tent, and these three Christian brothers read together the 14th, 15th, 16th, ♦ Captain Crofton was mortally woumled by the burst- ifigof a shell within three weeks afterwards, to the deep regret of all who knew him. THE DAY-STAR RISES. 2or 3 Rifles ing our y there Nothing 18 been . My )rother- I en- ou, my 3d I am lational se God. id soul, nother. her, LRS. ?? 11 earth Mount have )alh 60 5 Mas- 1 mea- happi- ils be- ' peace Lorning hut, after- l Cap- these Major 3 three 16th, 5 burst- deep and 17th chapters of the Gospel of St. John, and again united in prayer. The subject of the approaching v^ay of humiliation was kept much in view. He had earnestly desired its appomtment. In some of his recent letters, he had expressed his belief that until God was more honoured by us as a nation, in the aecriptioii of victory to His favour, and in the acknow- ledgment of His chastening hand in defeat, we could scarcely expect complete success. Well was the day observed when it came. He kept it as a solemn fast before the Lord. Within that tent there was a Holy of holies, for the presence of God was there ; and from conscious, though lowly fellowship witli the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ, he came forth to refresh the souls of others, as one who by Divine hands is made a king and a priest unto his God. The man of prayer is a man of power. Other men take knowledge of him that he has been with Jesus : and a light from heaven shines into many a dark heart through one who is a living temple of the Holy Ghost. After morning paradb, Hedley Vicars walked with Major Ingram, to see the sunrise in the valley of the Tchernaya ; and by the burningof their hearts within them by the way, it seemed that ■•' Jesus Himself drew nigh and went with them." '- Jesus in Heaven, Jesiis in heart, Heaven ni the heart, the heart in Heaven." At eleven and at three o'clock services were held in Mr. Smith's tent. Hedley Vicars had himself chosen tlie Psalms and Lessons, which he read, as •vrell as the remainder of the service, with an earnest solemnity which impressed all present. " If it had been the Archbishop of Canterbury," tjaid one, " he could not have done it better." m2 ! 'i 202 THE DAT-STAR RISES. .i« ! 1 , r ' f ■/:■ Uiii * ' ' I ill il A;-^" ■i^'^^ It,. .( i««>^', : *l The eveninjij was passed in company with his beloved friend Mr. Cay. The tone of that last con- Tersation could not be f rjcten by i\ e >u vivor. It seemed as if the spirit of his youn^ companion had already laken win«r, " and was in heaven before he came at it ; beins; swallowed up with the sijjrht of ange's, and with hearing of their melodious notes. Here, also, he had the City itc^elf in view, and thonjrht he heard all the hells therein to rin^r, to welcome him thereto. But, above all, the warm andjoyful thoughts that -he had about his own dwelling there with such company, and that for ever and ever — Oh, by what tongue or pen can that irh>i'ious joy bo expressed !'' Late that night he wrote these words : *' God bless all those whose exertions have been the means of brinnrmg about this day of national prayer. Who knows how many precious lives may not he spared, and what great success irranted, sooner or later, in answer to the prayers of this day ; for if the * efFectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,' how much more may an abundant answer be expected to the prayers of England, offered up as they have been this day by all the Lord's peo- ple in the name of Jesus, and pleading his atoning blood and all-sufficient righteousness. " T look for ureat results from the prayers that have ascended to heaven this day, and have been present- ed by our great intercessor before the throne of God, and I am sure yon do too, do you not, ever dearest mother-sister? I have felt this day to have been just like Sunday, and have derived much comfort from communion with my God and Saviour. v\'e had two tent services, in the morninjr at eleven, and in the after- noon at three o'clock ; Vandeleur came both times. I spent the evening with Cay. I read Isaiah xli., and he prayed. We walked tocrpther during the day> and exchanged our thoughts about Jesus." THE DAY-STAR RISES. 203 th his st con- ir. It )ii had ore he ijrhl of notes, houjrht ne him. loughts ;h such y what ssed !" e been. intional es may , sooner I ; for if s man mndant offered 's peo- atoning at have resent- of God, dearest een just [)i t from ladiwo e after- times, .h xli.y Ihe day» Thus the last word he ever wrote was the name he loved best. The name which is above every name; and which doubtless was the first to spring from his soul, in liie fuhiess of adoration and praise, as he entered into the presence of the King Eternal. One other frairment was found in his desk. It was ad- dressed to her whom lie loved with the full power of a true and manly heart ; yet does it speak of joy and gladness from anf)ther sjurce than that most tender love. Like the first disciples, of whom it is said that they, not seeinir the Lord Jesus, yet rejoiced m Him " with joy unsp;^akable, and full of glory,'* Hed'ey Vicars, led by the same Spirit, seems at this time almost to have tasted the first draught of that fountain of the WcJer of life, whose streams make glad the City of God. In the full strength of his youth, yet actually on the venre ofanother world, his last words came to us with a power beyond that of death-bed sayings. Such a tone o^ absolute sati.ifaC' Hon is seldom heard in this world of unsatisfied longings. <^ The greater part of another month is past, and here I am still kept by the protecting arm of the Almighty t'rom all harm. I have been in many a danger by night and day since I last wrote to you, my own beloved ; but the Lord has delivered me from them all, and not onlv so, but he has likewise kept me in perfect peace, and made me glad with the light of His countenance. In Jesus I find all I want of happiness or enjoyment, and as week after week, and month after month roll by I believe He is be- coming more and more lovely in my eyes, and pre- cious to my soul." Twenty-four hours more and his eyes had seen << the King in His beauty." , 'r\ M'l 'I. I I ::; ',v l\: it; Hf; Is. Xr.— THE VICTORY. " His soul to liim who gave it rose ; God led it to its long repojic. Its glorious rofi. And though the warrior's sun lias set. Its light shiil! linger round us yet, Brit'ht. radiaii'i, blest."— Longfellow. The night of the 22d of March was dark and dreary. The wind rose high;, and swept in stormy gusts across the Crimea. There was for a time a stilhiess over the three armies, like the cahn before a tempest. At the advanced post of the British forces on the side nearest the French, was a detachment of the 97th Regiment, commanded by Captain Vicars. No "Watch-fire on tliat post of danger might cast its red light, as aforetime, ii])on the Book of Cod. Yet was that place of peril holy gsound. Once more the night breeze bore away the hallowed soiuids of prayer. Once more the deep, earnest eyes of lledley Vicars looked upward to that heaven in which his place was now prepared. Perhaps in that dark niglit ho pictur- ed a return to his country, to his home, to the chosen of his heart, and thought of all the loving welcomes which awaited him. But there are better things than these, dear as they are, which God hath prepared for them that love Him. Perhaps his spirit took a lof- tier flight, and imagined the yet m.ore joyful welcomes upon the eternal shore. One stern duty more, soldier and Christian, and tealities more lovely and glorious than it hath entered into the heart of man to conceive, shall satisfy thy soul. Ireary, across ^er the on the te97th No its red 3t was 3 night irayer. Vicars ce was pictur- chosen comes sthan red for a lof- comes in, and ntered y soul. THE VICTORY. 205 >* Fulness of joy and pleasures for evermore at God's liffht hand. Around thee, in a few moments, may be ano8t of foes; but the air is filled with chariots and horses of fire to carry thee home, to be numbered with God's saints in glory everlasting. Soon after ten o'clock that night a loud firing com- menced, and was sustamed in the direction of the Victoria redoubt, opposite the Malakholf tower. Taking advantage of the darkness of the night, a Russian force of 1 5,000 men issued from Sebasto- pol. Preserving a sullen silence they approached from the Mamelon under cover of the fire of their ambuscades, and effected an entrance into the French advanced parallel, before any alarm could be given by the sentries. After a short but desperate struggle, theFrench were obliged to fall back on their reserves. The column of the enemy then marched along the parallel, and came up the ravine on the British lines, for the purpose of takmg them in flank and rear. On their approach being observed, they were supposed to be the French, as the ravine separated the Allied armies. Hedley Vicars was the first to discover that they were Russians. With a coolness of judgment which seems to have called forth admiration from all quarters, he ordered his men to lie down until the Russians came within twenty paces. Then, with his first war-shout " Now, 97th, on your pins, and charge !" himself foremost in the conflict, he led on his gallant men to victory, charging two thousand with a force of barely two hundred. A bayonet wound m the breast only fired his courage the more ; and again his voice rose high, "Men of the 97th, follow me!" as he leaped that parapet he had so well defended, and charged the enemy down the ravine. 1 V * ! ;■ * r *i I' M. il'v' 206 THR VICTORY. One moment a strug^lin^ moonbeam fell upon his flashin*]: jsword, as he waved ii throu«5h the air, with his last cheer for his mtm — " T/iis way, 97tli !" The next, the strong arm which had been uplifted, hung pf)werle8s by his ^iile, and he fell amongst his ene- mies. Bui friends followed fast. His men fought their way throusrh the ranks of the Russians, to de- fend the departing life of the leader the\ loved. No- ble, brave men ! to whom all who loved Hedley Vi- cars own an unforgotten debt of gratitude and hon- our. In their arms they bore him back, amidst shouts of a victory so dearly bought. An officer of the Royal Engineers stopped them on their way and asked whom they carried. The name brought back to him the days of his boyhood. The early playmate, since unseen, who now lay dying before him. was one whose father's deathbed had been attended and comforted by his own father as minister and friend.* Captain Browne found a stretcher, and placing his friend upon it, cooled his fevere i lips with a draught of water. That " cup of cold water shall in no wise lose its reward." '. To each inquiry, Hedley Vicars answered cheerful- ly, that he believed his wound was slight. But a mam artery had been severed, and the life-blood flow- ed fast. •■ * "■'"'■ '■ ' ' '■n fjui . A few paces onward, and he faintly said, '< Cover my face ; cover my face !" ' ": What need for covering under the shadow of that dark night? Was it not a sudden consc'ousness that he was entering into the presence of the Holy Grod| before whom the cherubim veil their faces. ■■.'. ,.. ,.f ^^ ♦ The Dean of Lismore. ^;;:ij (• ■ i THE VICTORY, 207 As the soldiers laid him down at the door of his tent, a welcome from the armies of the slty sounded ^w»t! ^''*''^'-„."?,*"«l "»"«" asleep in Jesus, to •wake up after His likeness, and be satisfied witk We " asked life of Thee, and thou gavest it him eren length of days for ever and ever.'^ ' *!! !l 'i? Aff .a>* •;.j r r ,«• 1 » ' 1 ( 1 !'! I i € ri''' ■ * ,1 r. '.* tl C P tl «] tl C( f< ai IT tl V Hi tl hUl APPENDIX. • ^■•* '^y^ •V-'^-'^V.^ - ->"*,'^ ^y^ ^-' << IN MEMORIAM. j> '■ His memory long will live alone In all our hearts as mournful light That bioods above the fallen sun, And dwells in heaven half the nig'ht." Tennysox. A PASSAGE in the despatch from Lord Raglan, published on Good Friday, April 6, closed the last door of hope that there might be some mistake in the telegraphic notice of Captam Vicars' death, communicated by the evening papers of the 4th : " Camp before sebastopol, March 24th, 1855. '* Early in the night a serious attack was made upon the' works of our Allies in front of the Victoria redoubt, opposite the Malakhoff Tower. " The night was very dark, and the wind so high, that the firing which took place, and which was very heavy, could scarcely be heard in the British camp; it is, there- fore, difficult to speak with certainty of what occurred from any thing that could be heard or observed at the mo- ment. " It appears, however, that the Russians, after attacking the head of the sap which the French aie carrying on to- wards the Mamelon, fell with two heavy masses on the new parallel, to therear of which they succeeded in pene- trating and momentarily possessing themselves ot, after a gallant resistance on the part of cor Allies. . «■ w 210 APPENDIX. . . ' ':^r' *' Havina: ^roLen through, tlipy passed alonsr thf» parallel and in rrai of it, until th»»y carne in contart with tlu troops •tationed in onr advance f);»'allel, fxtrndinir into ih»* ravine, frorn the ri^ht ol our advance, vvIumc it connects with iho Fienrh trench. " 'VUo oripiny was here met by di^tafhtiients of the 77fh and 97th Reu'iin''til.s, (orrninj; partof tlic miard of ihe tr«»n- ches, who, alihutj^h thus taken snddHiiiy l)oih in Hank and rear, behaved with Itie utmost galhintry and cool- ness, f *' Thf^ dr-tarhmcnt of the 97th, which wis on the eK- (rofru^ ri<(ht, and whicli cons^'qiu'ntiy first ranic in contact with the (Micriiy, rrpulsed the attack at the point of the bayonet. *• Tdcy were led by Ciiplain Vicnrs, who, Miifortuiinlely, lost his hff' on I h'-' occasion : and I anri assnr-i! tliat noMiiriflj coulfl he rwnro disiiiij^uishcd than the {laihiritry and nood ex.imple which he set to the detacliment Ufider his com- mand.'^ By liie Siune pn^t, tneir tone accordini^ with tho so- lennn and [lallowtnJ associations of the day, llie luilowing letters confiroicd the latal tidiniis. U Mi :' I TO LOUD RAVr.EIGir. " BkKORF kKBASTOPOL. '■' My Lotid — rt is with the di^npHSt sorrow that T write toani'otn.ce the dr-alh of Ca()tain ViciTs, of th»' 97ih lle- girrjfMit. lit' was kiih-d hist ni^ht in tho trfjiches, while gallantly chrerin^ on his men to the aitack of a body of the enemy, who, tukinj* advanta<;e of the darkness of the night, «j;ot close in tv; our trenrhcs. Fronri what T can glean ol ih'* affair, he rushed bravely into the mi^'dh^ of ih^^m, knocked down two, ar-d was in Mie act of j-trikini; a third* when one of ih^'m shot him throMjih his right arm, high up close to the shoulder; the ball divided the principal ar- tery, and he must soon have bled 'o death; therefore, it is a melancholj satisfaction to know that his sulferings were short. " I cannot express my own sorrow, and that of the Re- giment, at the loss of vso valuable an officer, further than to say, as regards myself, I leel that I have lost a brother; (( IN MEMORIAM. ^y 211 R parallel hr troops li»*riivine, with iho 'f lift 77th \Ue tr«'n- in flank iikI cool- 1 the ex- n conflict ril ol' the timnloly, t tio'liirisj niid jiood his corn- I the so- ul lr)v\ in g ropoL. I T write ()7ih Kp- 's. while I !)('(! V of ss of the nil (xlean nf ihf'm, u: a third, rni, hi){h ic'ipal ar- f<^i<:\ it is igs were the Re- hf-r than brother; it was in his society 1 fdt the happiest ; ag rcganls the re- gimpnt, he cannot he M'placed. Contemplating his melan- choly loss in the lijrht of a Christian, we indeed ought not to sorrow ds Ihosf who have no hope, for I feel sure no officer id the r\ lol • army was more prepareil to meet his Saviour. I write to your Lordship, as he told one of the officer- that his mother was stayinc; with you ; and |j;ave your direr riorj in case (as he said) of any thing happening to him. '' I am, &<', ''T.O. W. Ingram, " Major, 97ih Regiment.** KUOM AN OSTFlCh'Ai IN THV. ROYAI, AIITILLKRY. " Camt bkfohf: Skhastopol, iMarch 23d, IS55. ** Much do I thank V(>u for your very kind letter of the 23d of Pehruary. The i^forrnition it coiiiaiiM-d co'»''prn- ing a Day of ILimiliatiou haviii'.^ hfen determined upon, was most acieptahle ; and itself tended not a littli; to fjieer our spirits, of lale, by many circumstances, much cast dovv.1. " That kind letter deserved a far different; an'^wer fronn that which I am no'v called upon to send. Sad, sid, in- deed, are the tidin;is I have to cornmunicate. But. I know that, painful and severe as the blow must prove, it is much better that the worst should be told, in a diiect and cer- tain form, by h-ttfr, than to have your feolin^^s tortured unnecessarily by the uncertain reports which could not ' fail to reach you tliiotujh the newspapers. On this account, I feel sure you will (or.i,nve me for takiui^ uj^on myself to break to you — one of hisdeaiest and most valued friends — the melancholy news of the dtalli of our dear companion in arms, and brother in the Lord, Captain Vicars, 97th. " Yes, our good and sfracious God has seen fit, at this His own good time, to take nnto himself the soul of ouf beloved friend. Yet, if we find in these words much to Ikause deep affliction, surely they contain much of comfort also. Our loss and sorrow are great ; but his gain and bliss are greater. Dear Vicars is the second of our little 4 * ; i» . ( ■■'■ ! . 212 APPENDIX. iii band who has been removed to a higher and belter world within a fortnight. Captain Craigie. R. E., we lost about ten days ago, Surely these are ivarnings to us. * Prepare to meet thy God' is written as with the finger of God. May He himself prepare our souls, by fixing our wander- ing hearts more entirely on himself. "The action ol last night — I might almost dignify it by the name of* battle' — has been a glorious and decisive vic- tory. It was Inkermann on a stnall|scale — an attack in very great force, and on all points ; and everywhere they were beaten back with vigour and heavy loss. I saw at least three hundred Russian bodies lying on the field. We calculated that their loss must have exceeded twelve hun- dred m*'n. The French lost five hundred, and the English four officers and about fifty men. " Vicars was in the advanced parallel of our right attack, with a picquet of his regiment. The enemy attacked the French lines close alongside where he lay ; a ravine only separated them. They at first drove back the French, and part of them then turned to their right, crossed the ra- vine, and took our trench in flank. We were unprepared, and at first thought the advancing body was one of the French ; but Vicars found out they were the Russians, and oidered his men to lie down, and wait till they came within twenty paces. When the enemy was close enough, Vicars shouted, * >Jow 97th, on your pins, and charge !' They poured in a volley, charged, and drove the Russians quite out of the trench. Vicars himself struck down two Russians, and was in the act of cutting down a third with his sword, when another man, who was quite close [for the coat was singed], fired. The ball entered his uplifted right arm, close to where it joins the shoulder, and he fell The main artery was divided, and he must have bled to death in a few minutes. '' Thus his end was as peaceful and painless as a sol- dier's death could be ; and nothing could have been more ■oble, devoted, and glorious than his conduct in this, his first and last engagement. Surely this must afford some consolation to those who loved him. ** He was universally beloved ; and none can doubt who ^m^w him that he is now in the presence of that great and holy God whom on earth he deeply loved, and earnestly and successfully sovght to serve. the] servi pres( Littll the vvith( firm (( T any hear i;, a IN MBMORIAM. 5i 213 Iter world lost about * Prepare : of God. II wandei - giiify it by cisive vic- attack in rhere they I saw at Field. We velve h un- tie English ght attack, tacked the avine only le French, sed the ra- nprepared, one of the Russians, hey came se enough, charge !' Russians down two bird with se [for the uplifted nd he fell WQ bled to as a sol- )een more I this, bis brd some toubt who I great and earnestly .s '' Poor fellow ! he chose the Psalms and Lessons for the preceding day (the Day of Humiliation), and read thie service, when several of us met to worship God. All present must have noticed the fervour of his marner. Little did we think he was so soon to be numbered with the dead. '' Let us nol sorrow for our beloved brother as those vyithout hope. We have a good and sure hope, nay, a firm faith, that we shall meet again. » « * " May God comfort you all." The following letter was written to a mother, without any idea on the part of the writer that the sorrowing hearts of Hedley Vicars' relatives and friends would be warmed and comforted by its overflowing affection to his memory : TO L\DY MACr.REGOR. "' Camt before Sebastopol, March 23(J, 1855. Dearest Mother — This is a dark and sorrowful day with mc ; my heart is wriMig, my eyes red and hot with crying. I foel gloomy and sorrowful altogether. My very dear friend Vicars was killed last night ! The Russians made a sortie ; and, while gallantly leading on a handful of our men, to charge them outside our works, he was mortally wounded by a ball striking his right breast. He died soon after, and is now enjoying a glorious rest in the presence of his Saviour. I do not pity him. What more could we wish for liim 1 He was fully prepared for the most sudden death, and ho died bravely fghting and doing his duty. But my heart bleeds for the loss of my dearest friend, and for the sake of his poor mother and family. *• Such a death became such a life — jind such a soldier. The most gallant, the most cheerful, the happiest, the most universally respected oflicer, and the most consist- ent Christian soldier, has been taken from us by that bul- let ; and I know not how to live without him. He was my truest friend, my most cheerful companion, and qpy friendly adviser on all occasions. But, as his sergeant re- marked,, bitterly, this marr-ing. ^ He was too good to live.' <4I> if V Iv". 1 214 APPENDIX. . ( It.'' [ ■■ ' ! ■ 1-3 m *' Oh ! how many happy little schemes of mine does this at once put an end to. I had fondly hoped that we should live to go home, and that I might bring my dear departed friend to you, and proudly show him as a speci- irien of what a model soldier should be. But God's ways are not our ways. He spared him from the horrible death ofsuffocution by charcoal, for a few irionths, that he might die a soldier's death. " Noble fellow ; he rushed in front of his men ; and his powerful arm made more thnn one Russian fall, before that cruel bullet brought him down. It must have been fired close to him, for his coat was singed. ] never knew how much [ loved him until he was so nearly dying of the charcoal. When I heard at day-light this morning, that Vicars had been brought home dead, you may ima- gine my excessive grief. 1 loved that man as dearly as a brothpr ; and it seems that 1 almost hear his voice sound- ing in my ears, as he read (two days ago) the service — when some of us met on the day ot humiliation, " There was a little locket which he alwnys wore round his neck ; and I reuiember, when we heard we were to come here, he said, * we should all be prepared to give directions what we wished done in case we got killed; for instance, 1 have got a little book of Psalms, and a locket, which I would with sent home, in case 1 dit* !' Poor fellow ! I remember this ; and as I took the locket (a small gold one whwh operss like a watch, and has a small picture) — spiinkled with his lile-blood — I cried so that 1 thought 1 would get ill. ** * * * Oh ! his poor mother and sisters, that he loved so dearly. But she is a Christian : and has lived to see her once wild and reel, less son come to the fold of Je- BUS, and prove his sincerity by a lont, and unswerving, and consistent course. I also cut a lock ol his fine, curly hair this morning, as I knew his mother would like to get i^ ]f I was to try to write all the good that my beloved friend did, I should not have room. How he fearlessly, visited and spoke to the men in the worst times of the choleia; but, as he told mn, he got his reward — for the soldiers' dying lips besought blessings on his head. Oh, how happy he is now ! Such a death, and such glory I I! ' ♦ it j • " IN MEMORIAM." 215 mine does J that we ; my dear IS a speci- lod's ways L* horrible Hilhs, that n ; and his fall, before have been ever knew I dying of s mornin;^, may ima- ilearly as a aice soutid- i service — wnys wore heard we e prepared a so we got ol Psalms, in case 1 I took the ivatch, and e- blood — I rs, that he las lived to fold of Je- nswerving, fine, curly uld like to my beloved ; fearlessly, mes of »he rd — for the lead. Oh, such glory now ! Even in dpath his habitual happy smile did not forsake him. The Lord knew^ when and hou- to take him; but it is a severe and unspeaKably puinful trial to me. " Every one liked and respected Vicar^! ; even those who did not a;i;ree wilh his strict reiiijion ; arxl !hose who had known him so lonji; as ihe leader of every nruul riot, when, alter closely watching him lor years, and finding that once enlisted in Christ's army, he never flinched — at last gave in, and acknowledyjed that Vicars, at any rate, was a true Christian. How sadly we shall misg him in ail our liltle meetings. OGod, help n)e lo bear this sad affliction ! I can'i go on. He died gloriou'i. I stood beside thpm, and spoke to them as well as J could for sorrow, and remained till it was finished. Oh ! how my heart bled lor his dear mother and sisters at iiome. The poor soldiers seemed (o feel this, and said that they could not forget his dear sis- ter's parting counsels to them ere they left Englnnd. It seems to have made a deep impression on them, " He was buried at three o'clock yesterday aileuicon. All the officers of tlie 97th were th?re, with some friends from other regiments and a large number of the men of his own regiment. I stood by Dr. Cay, and Captnin Vanile- -leu»' was opposite. A deep,vc'y deep solemnity prcvailal as the chaplain read the Funeral Service. It was a touching Eolemn hour. Yes, he had all earthly honour, all deep re- spect. The mournful procession went home, and dear Dr. Cay and I went together on the road to Balaklava talking of our loss, and of his dear mother and sisters and tViends at home, and of those pleasures and joys he now posses.'ses in the calm, pure, holy heaven on high. " Being all day with them, 1 had opportunity of seeing many of the men of the 97th. He was the most beloved officer ot the regiment, and not only in his own regiment — it seems his name is well knovvu now throughout «be army, and his loss deeply felt. I could here pause to give expression to iny own feelings. I feel I have lost a d-^ar friend, one to whom my heart was much knit. 1 lad anticipated happy days with him in this land, and 1 feit I should be much strengthened. It was not to be so. Soon we shall follow. Oh ! may the faltering steps be quick- ened, and the soul be made to mount up with wings ^ as eagles, longing, panting, thirsting more ardently and more constantly for the living God. *• I had visited him three times, and remained long mth him. On Tuesday, the 20th, we had gone together to 'W I r "i ! 218 APPENDIX. . i ¥' ■ ; \i Major Ingram's tent,lvr. Cay also being present and anoth- er officer. It was put on nne to read and pray, and it was good to be among- them. He, with Dr. Cay, conveyed me a long way. Our conversation turned chiefly on the happi- ness of glorified spirits and their enjoyments. He was much delighted at the prospect of the National Fast Day on the followmg day. It was the sweetest walk I have ever had! Little did I ihinU it was to be the last with him. '* On the 21st he met with others, and passed the day in fasting and prayer, and very pleasantly. My spirit was with him and the little band. Next night he was in glory. Yes, 1 feel sure of this. It seemed to me he was peciilidry ripe lor it. He was growing much in the Divhie life, and it must afford peculiar satisfaction to you to know (as he told me in that last walk), your letters had been the means of greatly strengthening him, and help- ing him forward. To God be the glory. Yes, he has fal- len as a soldier and as a Clnislian. The Church of God, his dear mother and [sisters, and Christian friends shall miss hmi much. Yet we cannot, we would not recall him, if we could. God had need o( him. He is removed from the evil to come. The white robe is now his — the crown of victory — the song that .shall never end. Tears may- give place to joy. True, it was not amidst kind friends or on' downy bed he died, it was in the deadly charge and in the battle's strife. Yet it is all ojie. He fell as a Christian, nobly doins: his duty. He awaits to give us a welcome on high. Kindly recognition shall take place. He needs us to swell the song, to help to praise. Loid, more grace, more grace, that wc may Ibllow him as he followed Jesus I *' Dr. Cay is to get a ston^7 to mark his jjrave, that it may be well known. He lies close to the mile-stone on the Woionzoff road to Sebaitopoi, 200 yards from the Pic- ket House. "I feel deeply for his mother ami sisters— f cannot say how deeply. May they know much of the sympathy of Jesus 1 You, loo, shall need it ii»i you have lost u bro- ther. 1' 1, 1 1 :M:; 1 ' > m u IN MEMOIUAM. 3") 219 M d anoth- d it was eyed me ; happi- Ele was ist Day I have St with the day irit was n glory, he was ; Divine you to 3rs had d help- iius fal- ot' God, ds shall ail him, ed IVom } crown rs may iends or rge and ell as a re us a place. Loid, 1 as he that it one oil le Pic- lot say thy of a bro- " Will you kindly offer my Christian love to all at Beckenham, especially to your dear honoured futher. Mercy, grace, abundant grace, be with you. '• Y^ours in the bonds ot Jesus, *' Duncan Matheson. FROM A PRIVATK IN Till: 97tH. '* Camp uekore Sebastopol, March 23rd, 1855, " xMy Dear Wife—Oh the night of the 22d we had a visit from the Russians. A strong force pushed up to our advanced works^ and suceeilcd ingettini; into the trenches where there was a v.'oak ponU. Several of our regiment got killed, and amongst them was our gallant Captain, poor Mr. Vicars, who was soiit^eply loved by all the regi- ment. Even the officers almost all cried the morning af- ter the affair. *' He got a bayonet wound first, and then with a hand- ful of his men drove the Russians off and out on their ground; for where the affair happened is close to then' own batteries. He was seen to use his sword bravely, and cut down two men, and had his sword raised to serve another the same, when a bullet struck him in the breast, and he shouted out that he was only slightly wounded. But,rdas ! poor fellow, he fell, and died soon after. The Rusians would have carried liim off and strripped him of all he was worth, but our gallant lads bravely defended him, and carried him off the field. " We had four killed and four wounded, besides fourteen missing, which we expect were taken prisoners, as we took a great many Russians, and a great many were kil- led. Amongst them soms^officers were killed at our mortar batteries in itlempting to spike them. For several days here the Ru rsians kept very quiei — did not so much as fire a shot. We could not tell what they were up to. ** Poor Captain Vicars will be deeply regretted by all who knew him, but I know his soul is in heaven. v " So no more at present, my dear wife, from your affec* Uoriate husband, " John Cotterall, 97ih." t^ ll '. r ' V 220 A.PPENDIX. From a private in the Coldstream Guards, formerly a Ciystal Palace workman, wlio oolisted priiicipaiiy with the hope of being sent to the Crimea, that he might see Captain Vicars again : "St. Gkokgk'^ Bauracks, April 6lU, ''Dkau Lady— When f opened (he paper it made the tears lonie into my eyes, tor to hear tijal my bfh)ved friend had left this world. He is j^one tosinep in Jesus. I wish I had been by his side and seen him fall ableep. But I know that he is in ijreater glory than is lo be hud in this world. When last 1 saw him in Berkenhum amongst us, little did 1 think that it was the la^t. But he itll in duty and glory. " 1 <.'\'pect we shall leave for the Kasl in a day or so. We are all at a. minute's notice. 1 huveall ihe little books you gnv'o me, packed up in my kit. '' 1 was always living in the hopes of seeing that be- loved, resi)ected ^ Captain, Jind honoured biothcr in the Lord, out there, when 1 got a chance ofgoing out to him Now I am disappointed. But 1 will put no trust in princes to get me to heaven ; but I look on the blood of Jesus on fhf cross, r will trust in Him. and he will never lorsdke me )r .lesus says — '' '• All yc thai Uiii.-f, j'pproach ihe stream Where Jiving- v\^ale/s ilow. ' '• Our beloved friend is drinking of (hose living waters now. " So no more at piesent from your huinblc and grateful friend, ^' James Kelly, Coldstream Guards." TO MRS. VICARS. *' Beckenham, April 9th; 1855. " Dkar Mrs. Vicars — I am not writing to you merely a letter of svmf);ithy. I beli'V- lean fully enter into your fiiief. Since the sudden deaih of a deur child of ray own—darling Lucy's mother— 1 have nt ver felt so thor- oughly heail-slricken. a IN MliiMOKIAM. merly a \y with ight see nl 6lh, latle the ;d Iriend I wish p. But J in this ngst us, uiy and or so. e books Ihat be- in the to him. princes esiis on lorsdUe 221 •■K- " Thai ]>r'ivo .soldici.lhut cminon": Cliilsliaii, Iha! uc'ivc servant of (!lirist, th.it lovin;jj Itfarl, ht-.d wound itself lound my heart. I could wcup all day; but this is ^VI•ong. L(jt me think upon the? li'):K)ur coul'irrcil iiprtn liini in lift? ; of thooasy passiijft i» diMth ; oi ilie bliss of his spirit in paradise ; and of the hrilliaru c.vnmpio lie has left li'iiiiid ! I will try lo tliink ol him, rathor Ihaii of tuys'df. or even of thosi' wo dear lo me. But tJi'^r .sorrows }iit'j"i' rno. But let ine latlior tliink of tlir \vi>idi>n'i arii Idvo of //iy governtnent, who, indeed, wept at the tomb of L;iy.firus, and, tliei'efnr«, 1 may weep ; but intended that tomb lo give a liiglier display of th':! Divine ;;l():y. Oh. lot. iir Irnsl where we ejinot trace. a!id believe -» il we /■'..all di^''0vei' only love in oi;r mri,-.' paiiifnl feelirii;s ticio. " Vet a liltle while, ar;a Rev. vii. 13-17, xxi. 4, v.il! he fulfilled: anil there we shall in,*'; our beloved ones who have<;Tno before (1 'I'he.ss- iv. 13-18;; atul llr* ))ro- sence ot the Lord will !)r' the .sunjshine npon all. 1 pray God com fori you aiul yo-.u- ibnn- children, and deai Lord arid Lady IJayleiijh. <* B('!ieve me to be, doai Mr?^. Vicaii;, yours lailiifnlly and a (fee lion a! el V, ''Wm. Marsh.". waters rateful ds. >? KXTUACT OF A LKTTKU i-'UOM LORO PAViVIURl. TO LORD RAYLKIGH. ** War DETAiiTAiKNT, April 2i.st, 1855. " * * * i cannot but rei^ard the death of Ciplain Vicars as a national eahiiiiity, as it hdif dei)riv;i the Queen and the rnttion of the service of an officer who was , distiniiuished by hii; »^alla!!try and devotion to !:;<• ser- vice." * * * i* I ?55. lereljr r into >f nriy thor- . BXTRACT Oy A LETTJIH l-KOM THK KKV. i K. BJ.At K- . • . Wood. ' "Scutari, April 30lb, 1855. '* Occasioiially ni tiie nonlst of the 'horrors of war, one 'me'^ts traits of character which are very nleasinj;. You will have seen in the newspap^frs some accounts of the JS2 222 APPENDIX. , t is: ill ' denili of Captain Vicars, of theOTlh Ue^imeiil, whiUi gal- lam iy ropulsin^ a niglit sortie of the Iliusiaus!, at the head of his men in the Ironclies. Thih? ?nrs (t i^ood man, and in his instance is reahzed the piotr.ise, ' Tlie rncMiiory of the jiJbt IS hlessed.-' In pasainjj: throu'^h one of my wards the day after (lie news of his death hail ariivcd at S"utari, I mol witli two or three of his mini, who spoUe to nie with tlie most earnest and alfectionate inttMest, inqnirinij; the trntli of the sad news. They all hore testimony to his ex- cellence, and to his unceasiiiii; anil zealons endeavours to iiTj])re.ss them with religions sentiments, and instruct them in reliij;iou5: tiuth. He ap[)e.irs to have acted as a father and evan.i^elist to his men. One very intereslin«5 youth wept freely while he spoke of his own former wild and thoii:,'htless eouise, from which he had heeri reclaimed by the exhoilations and instructions o( Captain Vicars, who used to read and ex'ijound the !Scriptuies and pray with his men individually, as well as sometimes collectively. This young man received reli{,Mn;:r: books from me with evident intentions to use and j)ru)it hy them, and told me how Caplain Vicars hud eshojltd him to be uselul iu speakin;^ a word to his though! less connades, as well as in keeping his own faith. What a blessing is such a char- acter as Caj^tain Vicars ; and 1 believe there arc not a few of the like spirit just now in our army." EXTR\Cr PROM Tin: LKTTJiR OK A PRIVATE IN THE 77tii. '' The loss of Captain Vicars is felt by iriany — /nany a one out here. But /le rejoices and enjoys the fruits of his heavy labours in the loving bosom of his God and Sa- viour. Willingly would 1 have resigned my poor life to have prevented the deadly blow. " I wept for his loss, but now I envy him his glory. " I send you some clay I got on his grave, and a rough sketch (hut true) ot his tombstone. His men have orna- mented the grave with shells, and flowers are already growing there." From captain vicars* servant in the regiment. CAMP BEFORE SEBA8T0P0L, May 20th, 1855. '• Madam — The name of Captain Vicars is engraven on the hearts of the private so'diers of the 97th, with feel- ''' I iM' u IN Ml iORf 4M )> 223 THE rough ings of love and gratitude. believe here is not a man in the Regiment but would have rii any k lohp «% saved his life. I, as his servant, can assure v 'u, he • ^ as a brother to me, and not as a tnaslei thougL lo gentleman could be more honoured and respe< fd. I leel a happiness when I think of the home his soul is now en- joying. " 1 am requested by the soldiers ol the 97th to say how pleased and lliankful lliey will be for the little books about him when they raach ; and 1 believe there are many of the men will keep them till the day they die. *' [ remain, yours respectfully, '' Richard Young, 97th," FllOM AN OFFICER OF THE 97tH. ]\lay 22il, 1855. " * * * ] can't tell you how much I leU the loss of poor Vicars. Ever since I joined th*3 Regiment he was one of my best friends in every sense of the word, always trying to do me good, both by example and advice; how- ever, I have no doubt the poor fellow is much happier where he is; he fell, as he wished to fall, at the head of his men, leading them on to victory. I can't tell you how much his company loved him; and if you were to see the poor fellow's grave, how nicely they have done it round with stones and shells, showing in the only way they could, how deeply they felt his loss! " At twelve o'clock on the night of the 22d of March, his servant rushed i:jto my tent, saying they were bringing his master home wounded. He must have died just before he arrived in camp, for at the Picquet-house he asked the men that were carrying him to put a cloak over him, as he felt cold, and when I saw him a minute afterwards he was dead. He died an easy death — not the slightest sign of suffering about him. He appeared as if he were in a tranquil sleep ; his poor servant and the sol- diers that carried him were all in tears. I never saw an officer so much loved as he was. Many a vow of ven- geance was uttered, and no doubt will be kept when they get the chance. I used to have such work to make hirn take his pistols ; and that night I dined out, and he did ' ■» 224* APPENDIX. , ( I i ' , I ''' - h I not take thflm. I have got his fur coal, in whicli the poor fi'llow was shot, which f am kei-piii}; in me- mory ofoiie ol ihe (l(Mrcst friends I over had. H» has been a h«'avy loss fo till, hut at the sane timr wh can't bplj) envying hiin 'h(? ijlorious way in which ho i'rW, and the corlanily of his now l)eini; so mnrh happier, an(l in a belter phice thuj this wrelcheci world of «in aii I sor- row." ♦ » • From one of tlioa|i :a;n Vicars any one soldier in;ilie Iiey;imtnt would have done, loi he was bidoved by all whc kmnv him. His const. u>t caic; was the best way lie could contiihiitf to the comlbi I ol all under his com^ri iiid. A.s our Adjutant, he was lovrd by every one in the Uej^imi'iil, and,asC.'ap- tain ot No. 4 Company, he was more so by his ('ompany. There isscaiccly a ir.an in the K^'^:imenl who would not have {iladly la"t down his lite to s.ive his; and we all feel sorrow when W(? ihink of our victory on the 22d of March, on ac< omit of his l'>ss. " 1 am sorry th 225 whicli ill me- hl ^ has e can't 11, and 11(1 in a nJ sor- hi ilicir olosed !(M is a I S5j. lake in to send ive such ' lat(^ be- nt would • vv him. rihiih' to (IjiHant, ns (..'ap- lupany. )ul(J not we all 22a of 01 your )ot much ul your worihy d 1 1 lend, g to my t lose it ; ve given for the i pride I ■ ■ iin feel in an humble individual like me to have my name coupled with all that was«foo(l. All our officers are kind and uood, but he was best, and most l)eloved. *' I, and every one that has heard of your kindness, sin- cerely sympathise in your loss. I most rcsp'ictfully a«^ain bei; you will torjijive my presumption in writing to you in return for your kindness, but I felt my «li?bt to you so much that I could not but thank you. I humbly hope you will excusf^ me for trespassing on your tirne so long; i am only sorry I cannot thank you as 1 should. " f beg to remain, " YMiir vory obedient humble servant, "J. O^RrKi.LV, " Private, N». 3 Company, 97ta Ivcgimont.*' The roiiovvins: loiter will be read *vith m.-ljiirholy inter- est, as it is liom tlu' pen of one who (ell loit'inost in the Reil.in, whilst 1^ illdiilly le.idiUi^ thi; forl'jrn liop ', on th(-' 8(h of S.'pt'unber, and was followed to a soldier's grave with no common regiet : ''Camp, Juno 21>ih, 1855. '< Mv Dkar Lady Rayleigh— My broth'-r ollirers have requested «iie to acknovvh.'d^f.' your kiu'lm^ss, niid to thank you very much for your retnembi.inee of (hem in forw«ndnig the books descriptive of^ the Ule ot their poor friend and fellow-soldier, Canlaii! Vi- cars. Believe me, no one was, or coidd be more reii:iet- ed tVian he was ; for anxious, zealous, and atieiilive to his duties, ho was also most chHerlul. selt-d.Miyinii:. and obliging to his frieuds and cowipanions. The narr.ilive truly states, that whilst he entered with all his h.-art into the interests and dunes of u soldier, his lips and life held one unchanging story of the love ot Clirist. *< It must be a very great source of consolation to his mother to know that in all this army, none, as far as hu- man observation can judge, was more prepared to meet his Maker. , 1 » ''I was not in the trench the night he sudered ; hut healing that some wounded men had been sent up, 1 haU •' i I fi- . «*■ 226 APPKNDIX. 1 1.. t risen and gone to tiie hospital with the doctor: Whilst there^ I was inlormed that he was being brought hi, and hasten- ing to meet him, found, poor fellow, that he had breathed his last — as his bearrrs informed me calmly and quietly, having spoken a few ininutes before I met them. " I must beg you to convey my condolence to his poor mother, to whom 1 would have written at the time had I known her address, but I was very busy, the regiment having just shifted ground, and being much pressed with duty> f left the correspondence to a personal and intimate fnend of his. Major Ingram. " Believe me, my dear Lady Rayleigh, most truly to remain yours, '* A. F. WelsI'Ord, '' ^lajor Commanding, 97th Regiment." ■•». "Then let us be content to leave behind us So much ; which yet wc leare not quite beliind ; For the bright memories of the holy dead. The blessed ones departed, s4iine on us Like the pure splendours of sotiic clear large star. Which pilgrims, travelling onward, at their back Leave, and at every moment see not now : Yet, whensoever they list, may pause and turn. And wiih its glories gild their faces still. Or, as beneath a northern sky is seen The sunken sunset, living in the west. A tender radiance there surviving long. Which has not faded all away, before The flaming banners of the morn advance Over the summits of the Orient hills."* In the majority of the few extracts quoted in this chapter, from a large number of letters of nearly equal interest, the 97th Regiment have borne their own testimony to their value for Hedley Vicars. In conclusion, the writer of these memorials would Tenture to repeat, with a deeper meaning, his own last words to his faithful men, *' This way, 97th !" And would add a humble prayer, not only for that gallant re* ♦Trcncli ii IN MEMORIAM. ?;> 227 giment Cin which all who loved Hediey Vicars must ever feel a peculiar interest),butaIso for every soldier in the Bri- tish army, that each may tread the same path to endless glory, by finding Him who is '- the Way, the Truth, and the Life;" that taught of the Holy Spirit, as this young soldier was, they may learn, as he did, to follow Jesus '' in the blessed steps of His most holy life ;•' and may at last inherit with him, those pleasures which are at God's right hand, for evermoie. *' If any man serve, me, let him follow me ; and where I AM THERE SHALL MY SERVANT BE.^' Jfauy mun^ierVZ me, HIM WILT. MY Father honour. (John iii.) y\\ OwiER & Stevenson, Printers,. Montreal.