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Lorsque le document est trop grand pour Atre reproduit en un seul clichA, il est film* A partir de Tangle supArieur gauche, de gauche A droite, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images nAcessaire. Les diagrammes suivants iliustrent la m6thode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 w>4 afi*^^ ■■**m' TBtf 4 LADY AND THE DRESS-MAKER i OS, -ss^ ^/ A PBZSP AT r ASHXOW ABUB FOftlT. A STORY FOUNDED ON CIRCUMSTANCES THAT OCCURRED SOME TIME SINCE, IN THIS CITY, PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR. 1842. \'\ ■('■?^ ^^wt^iiepw"^^^:' # -^u. TO THE HONORABLE JEREMIAH JENKINS, POLITICIAN, MEMBER OF THE EXECUTIVE COUNCIL ; And Fellow of the Rag, Tag, and Bobtail Society ; TRS AUTHOR Respectfully begs leave to dedicate the following work, as a token of admiration for his industry and perseverance in assisting to work out the principles of " Responsible Government" in this Province, by which means the " Family Compact" has been destroyed ; the Loafers have been turned out of office, and an opening made for the knaves and cunning politicians to creep in. A "BLUENOSE." f *««;■■ • #V" fu loriii . 1 wiii^nHlvour to satisiy your curibsily. When I first commenced writing it, my intention was, not to extend it through more than a few co- liunns of the " Morning News," and my object, to ■)oi rtray in simple language, a few incidents con- >ecto(l with living characters. I thought that by )\vuig around virtue a pure and modest garb, by \ m'jr out the unalloyed happiness which ever ,ai leads her votaries, that perhaps I might be the ^ V' -4^ '^ M- " ' o-^^ 'If .^ "l"^ i , •» W^s^^X- -^ p'< 'K * INTRODUCTORY PREFACE. ^^t--' WM' *' & '^,- A * • .i^ 4V . O*''^ ,> '' *•' , >6 i ,m^ Critic. " Well, Sir, so you intend to publish " The Lady and the Dress-Maker" in cheap fa- mily numbers : pray, may I ask the reasons which have induced you to take such an egotistical step*? Do you not imagine that you have already outraged the public taste sufficiently, by printing the story (as you are pleased to term it,) in the columns of your tri-weekly Journal 1" The Critic, apparently secure in having put such an unanswerable question to the Author, looked exceedingly grave, and paused for a reply. Author. " You have asked me, Sir, for my rea- sons in publishing this Story in a new and improv- ed form : I will endeavour to satisfy your curiosity. When I first commenced writing it, my intention was, not to extend it through more than a few co- luirms of the " Morning News," and my object, to ")oi rtray in simple language, a few incidents con- ecU^d with living characters. I thought that by )\vi[ig around virtue a pure and modest garb, by ^ina.|p, in ordfr to render it more characteristic of persons in general, >_«><> r'. 13 still we shall endeavour to preserve all the facts connected with it, or a sufficient number of them, to preserve its identity. It would be as well also to add, that the names of the characters mentioned are of course fictitious ; but the individuals will understand them- selves, as represented, though the public may not. CHAPTER II. LADY CONSEiiVENCE. This lady was the daughter of a Farmer — not very wealthy, nor yet very poor — but he lived in what is considered " middling circumstances." Like many a volatile and thoughtless maiden, she imbibed strange notions of grandeur, at a very early age — notwithstanding she lived in the country, and seldom mingled in society, while she considered herself, what is sometimes called "the Paragon of perfection." As such maidens often make a " slip" in securing a partner for life, fit for their vain tastes ; yet do they sometimes have the good luck of getting their ut- most wishes gratified ; and in such eases they become truly dan- gerous creatures. Lady Consequence then, was one of these sort of bodies. As a maiden, she felt that a country life was too limit- ed for her " sphere of action ;" and when she became a wife, and' removed with her husband to the city, the same disposition accom- panied her — for she then feU that the city was not large enough; or in other words, its society did not come up to her sublime ideas of the beau mondc. Her husband was of a-piece with herself — al- though he could boast of his descent, as being a little more illustri- ous than her's ; nevertheless, they were a pair well matched, and it was dangerous even to look at them. Gentleman Consequence now became acquainted with the Hon. George Allspicp. just from across the water, and who 1' I u like my Lord Fiddlestick, could trace his ancestors back to the days of the Heptarchy — a circumstance quite sufficient to render him famous in the world's eye. As soon as this important fact be- came known to Lady Consequence, it operated upon her like a charm ; and it is said by an " eye witness" that she would have soared aloft, lik« an inflated balloon — by the buoyancy of her spir- its — in spite of the laws of gravitation, were it not that she posses- sed remarkably large feet, which preserved her equilibrium, and kept herstationry. This singular circumstance th«j, clearly proves that large feet, at all times, are not to be despised. The first im- pi'Jse having subsided, was followed by a second, and the second by a third, and fourth, until my Lady's fancy finally became so overcharged, by that prospective grandeur which ever waits upon rank, that though she did not actually faint, she came so very near it (as her dressing maid afterwards said,) that " it appeared a miracle she did not." A coach and four, with liveried servants, now rolled before her phrenzied imagination ; splendid furniture and equipage held ahernate sway ; lords and ladies beat in to render the picture still more alluring and delusive; in short, her present condition was entirely forgotten in the future; her husband was now acquainted with a nobleman, and she felt that she was already fit society for a Duchess, if she was not actually a Duchess herself. Balls and routes now became the order of the day— or rather night — at the house of the Consequences; officers and their ladies were among the first on the list for invitation, while former real friends and as- sociates were forgotten. The Hon. George Allspice was a parti- tion between the society of equals and superiors. Many enemies, in consequence, were created amongst those who thought they were overlooked, or forgotten. The gossips, who are ever on the tiptoe to catch at any, and every thing, that can be handled, began to grow very loquacious about the Consequences; "they won- dered" among other things, " where they could have got all their money!" One supposition was, that his lordship must have met with the luck of Ali Baba, and found a cave \Vith valuable trea- sures in it. Another, that he must be on good terms with the Directors of the Banks, and receives large accommodations, m A third, that lie entertained his company at the expence of the pub- lic; perhaps he enjoyed a fat office ; or if not, that he was dashing at the expence of a host of creditors, who, bye-and-bye were to fall victims to his extravagance. The latter surmise, perhaps, was the most probable — but the sequel will tell. No matter — the Con- sequences did enjoy themselves ; and perhaps, it was only envy that caused people to talk ! The Honorable George now became a constant visitor at the house of his friend— for he now assumed that character — and would have continued as such, so long as there was good cheer in the way, and plenty of adulation — if through no other cause. The entertainer felt as happy as the entertained ; the first, on account of the honor of the company; the second, on account of the enter- tainment, as much as any thing else; while Lady Consequence daily increased— not in size, or wisdom — but in importance. Her former friends forsook her — "she was too fine for them; she thought too much of herself, and she a ploughman's daughter too ! she had better go back to the country again, and weed her father's garden, instead of sticking herself up in a drawing-room to receive noblemen and their ladies." Such were the denunciations thrown rut against her reputation, accompanied, no doubt, by a due share of scandal, if not inuendoes against her virtue. CHAPTER ni. THE DRESS-MAKERS. We must now leave Lady Consequence for a short time " in her glory," until we introduce the reader to a young lady, who depend- ed upon her industry for a livelihood. This was a dress-maker, and perhaps it will be as well to give the reader some idea of her — • since she is to form a conspicuous character in our narrative — in order that he may be prepared for the part she is about to play,— 16 i' !. .1 ! She was & young woman then, of prepossessing exterior, and posse£^ sed, what was still more valuable, a sweet disposition, and a reined taste; also a noble spirit, without pride, unless it was that pride which belongs to virtue, and ever ready to resent an insult. She was one of five sisters, who were all of the same calling, and equally chaste and spirited in their demeanour. Their business was extensive ; they sewed for all the first ladies in the city ; and they \ensed with, particularly as she felt like staying at home that day. Nevcrtlieless, she enjoyed the laugh at Caleb's expencc, with as much entliusiasm as any of her sisters, and excused the messenger for his impertinence. *' Tell your mistress, ' said Eliza, " that Miss Smith is engaged to- day, and cannot como ; but tliat she will call up when she has time." *' Miss Smid in a rage t' day, and fond o' rum ; but will go up if she ran got wine — wlioy well, me tell lady dat. Misses got plenty wine — ' come long — she gib you some ; she drink it out a tumler kos woinc- glass not large 'nuf, an neber gib dis nigger any Gore-a-massy how she swig it." Eliza, jierceiving that Cukb ntihunderstood her, n peated the message that ho was lu carry to liis miutwos ; nor did hhe impress it upon his mind, viutiJ after Au li'nl ropi .it* d it liulf it do'^i.u times (Exli Caleb ) 27 '• Why — Eliza, you had better go up and sop lioi Ladyshii* to day , il you incur licr displeasure, it may operate; against you very Bcriously, in more ways than one — she has a great deal of influence among the ladies whom you work for, you know ; and no doubt she will misrepresent you, very mucli against your interests ; her story will be listened to, while you will have no one to represent your case ; now do go up" — was Mrs. Smitli's advice to Eliza. " Mother ! I will obey you in all things reasonable ; and if I consi- dered your present request such, I would show my filial duty and take your advice ; but I conceive, since I^ady Consequence has not shown herself a lady to me, I ouglit to attend to those first who have better manners. Besides, these drosses must be finished by Monday evening — and now it's Saturday — and if I neglect them, to serve l^ady Conse- quence, I shall iiave to disappoint nearly all tuesc customers ; that would'nt be right you know. I have also to get my own dress ready, and even that alone will keep me busy. The Colonial reader will not be at all astonished at the idea that " dress-makers" should mix in the same brilliant circle — with those la- dies for wl. )m tiiey work — at a Public Ball. Nothing is more comlaon than this All distinctions in the ball-room, are, comparatively, levelled down ; tliere, all are Indies and gcnOcmcn who represent the character, and behave as fuch — a ball-room in the Colonies may be likened to a miniature republic, where persons are all on an equality. The Plebeian .".- " Patrician are seen in the same eet — they dance to the same lausic. " Wiiat arc you going to w.-ar, Eliza ?" interrogated Mary. " Ellen Splash latt year, took all the young men's fancies, and was invited up i:i every dance, just because she wore at the Ofllcers' Ball, a sky-blue dress — besides a certain Editor in thi.^ City, got «juitc bedazzled with her, just on account of her dres.s, and made solae alluaionu to her, they say, in his (taper ; now if I were you Eliza, 1 would just dress in the same way, and see what elFect il will have witli you. I know what I should do if I wa.^ going — but you can ju^t do us ydu please 1 only wiuii / was oIn enyu:]Ii to go to a Bail. 38 i ■ 1^1 R' " To hear Mary talk"— said the elder Miss Smith, " a person would be led to suppose that dress is everything with her, to make a conquest among the young men. Now, I think differently ; although no doubt some young men look more to dress in a ball-room, than in a kitchen — still I think the majority of them study action, as much as even De- mosthenes did — (who'se that, interpolated Mary ?) — and manners too. Do you take my advice Eliza, and dress plain and neat — that's the way Oi»- deralla did, and she conquered a Prince ; but my stars ! whatever you do, don't, like Cinderalla, drop } our slipper, or there's no knowing what may happen. " Ellen Mclvers told me last night what she wa." going to wear" — said another Miss Smith ; " She's going to have on a crimson satin dress, figured with largo flowers, decorated with various elaborate arabesques of piping, and flounced with blond, on the skirt, sleeves and corsage. — The front of her hair is to be decked out with crimson flowers and ma- rabout feathers, and gold cable ; on the back of her head she is to wear a tiara of wild roses. She is to have on white satin slippers, and stock- ings embroidered with gold thread — and oh ! what a beautiful embroidered lace handkerciiief she has bought for the occasion ! Her dress altogether won't cost less than £20 ; she has been saving up all her earnings for this purpose for the last twelve months." " The fright !" ejaculated Mary " that's the way she always tries to dress — ^just like a butterfly, for all the world ; she carries all her plu- mage in her wings, and don't care whether she has holes in her stockings or not. For wij part I would'nt be seen in the same dance with her, HAM *» " nor " Mary — Mary — how often must I speak to you about your foolish prattling," interrupted the mother, " you had better mind your work I now don't let me have to speak to you again !" We will now leave the Miss Smiths, and let them enjoy their collo- quy — for it would not do to hear too much, particularly since balls beaux, and dresses are being discussed — while we turn our attention once more to Lady Con.scquence. ii ;* - ■-.■ : J- erson would be ce a conquest ugh no doubt n a kitchen — as even De- nners too. Do 8 the way Ois- whatever you knowing what rg to wear" — son satin drees, rate arabesques and corsage. — jwers and ma- she ia to wear •ers, and stock- iul embroidered dress altogetlier cr earnings for always tries to es all her plu- n her stockings mce with hor, it your foolish id your work I oy their collo- •ly since balls attention once •* CHAPTER VI. Caleb delivered the message from Eliza to her Ladyship ; but it was no sooner out of his mouth than his hat — which was a remarkable one — was driven over his eyes. Before explaining how this was done, per- haps it will amuse the reader to give him some idea of this REMARKABIK HAT. In size and shape it resembled very much, they say, a certain one in this City, intended as a sign. It was singularly large and fashionable at the top, but tapered like a sugar loaf, as you approached the brim ; it was an excellent fit — (that is if the same rule will apply to beaver that will to leather) — by fitting very tight. It was always with much diffi- culty that Caleb could screw this remarkable hat on his head ; and when lie got it OR he had nearly as much difficulty in getting it off again, as its affinity for his temples was very strong ; and ho has been knov/n to go about the house for a whole day, with his liat on his head, in order to prevent tiio trouble of putting on and taking off ; and it is also said — although we cannot exactly vouch for it — that lie did not unfrequently turn into bed, and wear it as a night-cap, in order that he might be as expeditious as possible in performing the duties of his toilet, in the morn- ing. Caleb, with all his other peculiarities, could also boast of posses- ing a fine head of wool, which, by the way, served to keep him in pock- I't money ; for he used to get it sheared about once a month, and con- verted into an article of merchandize An old Indy who used to spin ■i-i :!() I M yttrns—liv'mrny clean down to his chin ; — and the chin being rather protrubcrant, and the hat rather pliable, a co- partnership was immediately formed — or, in other wordn, the chin served as a peg, or rather like a harpoon in a whale's back — and held the hat so titrht that it could not be removed- Caleb roared out murder ! from under the hat, as loud as h'^ could ball — and that was'nt very loud — for he was nearly gagged, while there was very little room for the sound to escape. Her ladyship seeing what who had done, began to get alarmed ; her passion, like Bob Acre's courage, had now oozed out, and yympatliy, for once, supplied its place. Caleb liy this time was prostrate ujion tlxe floor — he was nenvly sulfocated. Lady C. rang (he hell, and at the same time screamed at the top of her v^ce, fur help ; tlie servants from below ran up, pell-mell, in every direction, and rushed into the room, with less ceremony than they ever did before. By this time I^ady C. had fainted, and wasi lying beside Caleb on the flncir, insensible. The .'iervants unani- 31 uiously concluded that Caleb must have boon abusing tfio mistress— that he had given her impudence — or, it was not improbable, that he had struck her, as ho was a mischievous dog, and that ho was merely cutting up the pranks they witnessed, (from his convulsions,) with pretension of insanity. The footman applied the toe of his boot to Caleb's nether parts, without mercy, in order to arouse and punish him by the same pro- cess ; which was certainly, as Caleb afterwards said, rather a cruel way of ministering to a pcason in agony — viz : by kicking him out of the world, when he was already going out as fast as he could. By moans of Drucilla Port's smelling-bottle, which she usually car- ried round her neck, suspended by a piece of black ribbon,, as an orna- ment. Lady Consequence was gradually restored to her senses. On opening her eyes she gave a loud scream, which reverberated through the spacious room and hall of the mansion with alarming effect. " Attend to Caleb — attend to Caleb — never mind me !" — commanded her ladyship. Caleb was still struggling on the floor, under the big hat, in convul- sive agony, and kicking like a malefactor. The footman attempted to remove the hat, but it held on to Caleb's physog with the tenacity of Burgamcse pitch— and for the first time the footman saw that something was wrong with the poor blackamoor. Finding he could not remove the hat, he took out his penknife and made an incision in the front of it, immediately opposite Caleb's mouth, when the poor fellow once I more breathed freely. lie was then put upon his feet, with the hat still upon his head, and his nose and lips protruding through the aperture. His organs of vision, after restoration, was even more distorted than his mistress' ; it is true ho did not imitate lier ladyship by scream- ing out ; perhaps it was on account of a defect in his lungs ; but like a frantic maniac he jumped and skipped about the room, upsetting every thing in his way, and very nearly run his head tiirough a large pier- glasa of enormous value. The footman being very muscular, managed iit l.nglh to pinion hie arms to his sideK, by embracing him with the bii'i of a b^jar ; while another servant irraspcd his legs, and between the fW \\ li I ( i f i' i "'•!i 11581 32 : two he was prevented from doing furtlier mischief. The fact of the matter was, Caleb was stunned by the blow from the ottoman ; his head upon examination was found to be very much bruised — his liberation from the hat at that moment, alone saved his life — he was in a state of bewilderment for some time after, and was very much in doubt, at first, whether he existed in this world, or the adjoining one ; and this accounts for the extraordinary antics he cut up. By another application of the knife, the hat was finally removed from Caleb's head, and his woolly crop once more was visible. His first exclamation aHer being emanci- pated, was — " by gore-amity, you you don't kotch dis child in dat hat agin" — and with a vicious kick he sent the hat out of the window and turned upon his heel, which served him as a pivot, and the next mo- ment he was rattling among the pots and kettles in the regions below. Lady Consequence, though she was restored to sense, was not restor- ed to reason — far from it. Her diginity she considered touched. Miss Smith's message, if Caleb brought it correctly, was insulting ; and if there was no misunderstanding in the way, she was determined to have an apology from the impudent jade^ as she thought proper to sty t her ; or never give her another stitch of work. " Drucilla, go down to Miss Smith immediately, and ask her what she mean't by sending me back such an impertinent message ; tell her I cannot possibly excuse her, unless she sends me the most humble apology — the audacious creature !" " Yeth— my lady !" And away trudged Drucilla Pert for the house of Miss Smith. As usual, when Drucilla arrived, the Miss Smiths were busily engag- ed preparing their dresses for the Ball on Monday evening. In answer to a most amiable tap at the door, given by Drucilla, she entered, with all the dignity of a new made Countess. Tlie maid generally looked finer than the mistress, and on this occasion she looked ' killing fine* — no doubt she considered that an assumed hauteur, beneath the garb of a fine lady, might have greater effect upon the plain dress-makers, and cause them to capitulate to her mistress' commands, witli marked contri- 33 tion. But alas for human folly and short-sightedness ! Miss Smith's ed- ucation had not been neglected in early life, to such a degree, as to cause her to forget her place, and become a weathercock, subject to be changed by every idle breath, that should blow in that quarter. Dru- cilla's airs then, were of very little avail among girls who felt themselves superior to her ; ay, equal to her mistress, in every thing that constituted female virtue and amiability. After twisting herself about in divers ways, for some moments, in the most approved fashion among coquets, in order to display her importance, Drucilla thus interrogated the dress- makers — " What wath that methage you thent up to Lady Conthequenth ; thee ith greatly indignant, I can athure ye ; and thee demanth an apology im mediately — thee ith very muth offended indeed — I'm quite athtonithed mythelf— (Mary had to laugh right out) — you had better rite an apology, and I will favour you by carrying it." Eliza thought by the earnestness of the maid, that Caleb could not have delivered the same message she gave him ; but must have substi- tuted something impertinent of his own, else her ladyship would not be 80 wroth, according to the maid's representation. She thought it well to enquire, however, before giving a hasty answer. " What did the man tell her ladyship .' he must have exaggerated on vvhat I said." " No heth not a cabbage pate — nor will I hear any of her ladythip's houthhold abuthed in that way ; I wanth your apology." Eliza inter- rupted her — seeing that she was misunderstood — and repeated the ques- tion ; to which Drucilla answered. There was no mistake in Caleb this time ; he delivered the message nearly verbatim, as it was given him. — Being perfectly satisfied then on this point, Eliza replied to the maid's — or rather her ladyship's — strange request, in this wise : " Tell Lady Consequence that Miss Smith is not in the habit of apo- logizing to ladies; particularly in this instance when she feels that she has done, or said nothing, so heinous, as to make an apology requi- site." h ■■» ■ i . M 34 " Ytlli — but Lady Coiithoqucntli itii not, like any other lailioa you deal with" — meaning of course that her ladyship was of more importance. " That's very true ; I found that out on Tlmrsday for the first time"-*- repliod Eliza ironically. " Well — if you donotapologithc, I mutht only acquaint you that you can never get another stitch of work from Lady Conthequenth ; thee won't be trifled with ; and if you expect any more of her ladythip's work, you mutht apologitho in the moatht humble manner." The girls — five in number — could contain themselves no longer — they roared out laughing, most boisterously ; nor could even the old woman — the mother — restrain her gravity, but likewise joined in the laughing chorus, in spite of her age. A scene so unexpected, took Drucilla by surprise ; she felt that she was getting quite cheap in the Miss Smiths' estimation, notwithstanding her gear ; indeed she felt very awkward ; and thought it almost ' time to go.' As soon as Eliza's risibles permit- ted, she informed Drucilla, that it was immaterial whether Lady Conse- quence gave her any more work or not ; she could very well dispense with her ladyship's patronage — and the only apology she had to send by the maid to Lady Consequence, was the dress, half-finished, and also her bill for tlie same. " Yes ! — and she had better send down the money very quick — or Lady Consequence will find lierself in the News-Papers, for her impu- dence" — added chatterbox — little Mary. Drucilla tied up the dress in her pocket-handkerchief, while Eliza sat down to the escritoir and made out the bill — thus : Lady Consequence, 18—. To Emza S.mitii, Dr. July 24. — To half finishing a Satin Dress, with trimmings, &C. :::::::::: £0 15 0. Received Payment. The bill was presented, and Drucilla — without bidding ' good morn» ing' — left the Miss Smiths ' /nwAiers of tlic field,' and returned home to acquaint lur mistreas of llic rude treatment she had received from ' the drcsE-makcr-girls.' Jlcr ladyship, on hearing the news, did not, as i ,-^- 35 might bo supposed, fly into a pucker, ns she did before witli Cult 1), bui merely said — " nothing bettor couhl be expected, from sucli low bred things — they have been brought np in ignorance, and don't know an}' better." It will be as well to add, that her ladyship immediately settled the bill; but whether it was from an apprehension of being put in the News Papers, or not, as Mary threatened, we have not been able to learn. CHAPTER VIT "Toon riBf'Tr ivhile Eliza sat The ball, before alluded to, took place on Monday evening, and was attended by all the elite and fashionables of the city ; it was not coniined, however, to a certain class of cxchtsives ; but was open to all — even to dress-makers. Eliza was there, and so were two of her sisters. Many hearts were lost and won ; ay, many a lover can now trace back the ori- gin of his joys, or sorrows, to that eventful night. The officers of the garrison were also present, and enjoyed tliemselves much after the fash- ion of other folks — though they were officers. Among tliem were the Hon. George Allspice, Lord Augustus Blood, Capt. Swagger of tlie Guards, and Lieut. Poppinjay ; and as the opinions of tliese gentlemen are worth something to a Colonist, we take the liberty of giving the re- sult of their impressions of the bali, and other matters, as expressed by them next evening, at the ' mess table.' Poppinjay— O'i say Blood, dom mo if Iv'nt lost my art— what a charming crcataw I daunced with lost ovning ; she was nil pawfoction itself. Broou — Did'ut 1 twig you ! what \v\\\ the Lady Mary say when she hears of it? Allspice sc'iued lin.-iily engasfod loo — (AlJHpire rolimied % I'i 11 36 up) — I say All., wliat's her name ? — (Allspice gave a sigh, which lie tried to suppress, but not in time) — A red coat plays the devil with the girls in the Colonies — it has n uniform effect upon them. Come gentle- men, fill up, let us drink to the girls we danced with last evening — to Allspice's girl particularly ! (They drank.) Now All, whatever you do, don't deceive the girl ; she has beauty on her side, if slie has'nt rank and wealth. Be honourable you know, be honourable ! that's one of the mottos on our regimental colours. Allspice — O drop the subject — that's all nonsense ! SwAOGER — Wull, that expression clarly proves that Aulspice is not as deeply in love as you conjectavv — for it is said, that lovers love to hear their mistresses sporken of— no mattaw when or war. PoppiNJAV — Dem me if he isn't ! O'im not joking ; no by if I am ! He's in love, look at him now ! O'ill bet Lady Mary and all her fortune, that he's in love with that Plebeian thing he daunccd with three or four times lost ev'ning. Allspice finding he was made the butt of the party, thought it was best to leave the room, and so he did ; at the same time he thought it was very hard that he could not dance with a lady without being twit- tod for it. Sw.iiJOER — O'i foind that the men here as well as the women, are led into strange absurdities, tiiro' means of our red coarts — whoi man, in London, we would not be noticed at all strutting up and down Bond- street; but dem m«', here, we're nil the go; whoi the mothers call their cliildren to the windows to look at us as we pass by ; and the little boys ausk their farthaws to make oflicers of them when they grow up. Even the young men troy to ape Ui, as nearly as it is po8sil)le for a pawwillian to do — particularly when they get on tlilW IMilitiacoarls. We are great men in tliis i)lace, I can assuaw you, genth-men — I can assuaw you we liar. A fellow by wlio iiad no farthaw, (father,) his name 1 b'lieve is Conse(|uence, liad the audaucity yesterday, to ausk me to doine with him! The oidea of a I'lebeinn like him nusking one of Ilor Majesty's holficers of the Qawds to doine with him— whoi it's pnrfectly ubsnrd ' <* 37 If o i wor to aukcept of such an invitation, I would dcsarvo to he tie- graded to tlie ronks, and hove my oppilets torn from my shoaldaws. Blood — You can't make a silk glove out of . sow's ear ! Excuse my vulgarity. Colonial Society is very meagre; the reason of this is, the Colonists are not boi.i rich, as we were ; they have to work for their money, and have but few opportunities of schooling themselves into the nice punctilios which peculiarisc good English Society. Why, gentle- men, if some of those persons in this city, who think so much of them- selves, were to be introduced at Court, before the sovereign and her no- bility, they would feel as awkward as did Allspice just now, when we spoke to I'.im about his amours with that young lady, hist night. No ! it is only constant intercourse and observation that can improve and givo polish, dignity, and ease to the manners, and fit a person for the society to which we have the honour to belong. It amuses me to see the weak- ness and folly of some men! I have known certain gentlemen in this city, dodge about the corners of the streets for half a day, in order to fall in with some of Her Majesty's Officers, to have a bit of a tete-a-tete with them, and to let their fellow citizens see that they are taken notice of by us. This is a fact, gentlemen ; you may laugh as much as you please — but it is a fact. Small couununities are made up of many classes; — first come the judges of the land, and those enjoying high offices ; such persons would belong to about ilw fifth class in England ; that is, if our Society had as many divisions ; llien comes the merchant, who among us, would be equally respected with the judge ; then the mechanic, who is not appreciated according to his worth in small places, like as in Lon- don, except he live in a repnlilic where worth and merit always make the man ; we then descend downwards, until we come to the refuse of the eartii — such plodding individuals I mean as that portion of our ten- antry who live from haiul to mouth — who starve that we may live. Pori'iNJAV— O hang your judges, merchants, and so forth, and K't us replenish our glasses. Blood— O No ! that would never do ! tlie judges would'nt stand hang- ing ; they liang too well together for that. Bui improving upon your 1* I ■ I II l\- H 38 ' suggestion, Pop, I tliink it would'nt be a bad plan to hang half the law- yors, then tiicre would be more honest men in the world. Talking of lawyers, it affords another instance in exemplification of Colonial vanity. , If fathers would train up their sons to vocations which nature intended them for, instead of sticking law-books and musty records into their hands, they would display a little judgment. It is enough to make a pig sfjueal, and the critics open tiieir mouths, to hear one half of those per- .sons calU'd lawyers, pleading at tlie Bar. I have often been amused to licar them address a Jury — ay, many a time have I seen even the judge laugh in his big sleeve, and at the same time try to look grave beneath liis wig, when a young lawyer was addressing a box of jurymen — every one of whom was old enough to be his grandfather. First, in his charge, came the introduction, which like introductions generally, displayed pre- tentions to a vast fund of classical lore ; while the obsolete laws of Ly- r.urgus were raked up to establish precedents. Tiien, in order, followed tlie argument, which was about as connected in reasoning, as the buttons on a soldier's coat, and about as bright ; facts on the opposite side, were met by hypotiiesis — while the very stubborn ones, that could not possi- bly be controverted, were met by a side-wind, or rather a squall, which spent itself upon the ears of the jurymen, without going home to their convictions. Then tlie apjieal to the passions, or rather sympatiiies ! O what an appeal ! It was what Dominie Sampson would call — prodigious. Instead of melting the rocks, as Mark Antony would, in his case, it melt- ed the jurymen's iiearts ; but more in pity for the lawyer than the client. Again, some fathers are extremely fond of Physic — i. e. they usually select the wildest of their sons, and thrust them, by way of ex- ordium, into an apothecary's shop — there to learn how to label drugs, and mnntifacture pills and boluses, without acquiring a knowledge of their riiemical properties ; and ere they have cleverly worked out their (mis, they are presented witli a diploma, thrniigh the influence of friends. Ilnviug acipiired thin, they are admitted — in a jirofessional way — into a liidy'fl bed-chamber to attend to tlu- mo^t delicate duties, and with as little fi-reniony as the females of the household. One lialf of lliose 51! 39 fellows they call Phyaicians ; I look upon them, gentlemen, as so many ExcciitioncrH ; they help to fill the church-yards, however, and give employment to the sextons. Yon long fellow who dined with us yesterday, in company with the doctor of the regiment — he of leg and whisker notoriety, and equatorial complexion, I mean — well, that fellow for instance, would make a better grenadier, than what he professes to be — he could handle the bayonet better than the lance, I'll vouch for it. Again, sons with the roundest heads, and most sombre visages, are usually converted into Parsons or expounders of the gospel ; one half of these shepherds only become famous for making long sermons, and keeping hungry people from their dinners — they excel in nothing else. Now, if. fathers could only adopt some rule by which they could estimate the quantity and quality of their sons' brains, before putting them to such professions, they might be able to judge whether they would ever become a credit to them or not, in their old days. College education is of little avail in making a man great, unless nature assists him. Swagger — Whoy Blood have you done ? 'Pon honour, you would make an hcxcellent commoner. A most suparb speech ! O'i move that Blood be nominated a Candidate for Pawliament, as soon as we get homo, to represent Colonial customs and sowoiety. Such is a specimen of the conversation which transpired amongst these gallant worthies on the evening after the ball ; but we must leave them for tlie present to enjoy their eups, and return to the Miss Smiths again, who, doubtless, are expecting us. 1 CHAPTER VIII. THE MISS SMITHS AFTEE THE BALL. " When the glow worm gilds the elfin flower, That clings around the ruin'd slirine, Where first we met, where first we lov'd, And I confess'd mc thine ; 'Tis there I'll fly to meet thee still, At sound of vesper bell, In the starry light of a summer's night, On the banks of the Blue Moselle." " Do for pity's sake Eliza, leave off" singing that mournful song — I'm really tired of hearing it. It has been nothing but the " Banks of the Blue Moselle" ever since you came home from the Ball. One would sup- pose that you had lost your heart with Henry Sprout, last evening, (Eliza smiled,) and that a phasing melancholy was brooding in your mind, at the recollection of him. I think you had better drop your work, and take up Ovid's " Art of Love" and study that. If it were me I think I would sing something more lively ; Rory O'Moore, for int tance. I'm sure I don't see what there is about Sprout, that should cause you to look so sad, and sing such melancholy tunes to-day. t danced with much hand- somer men tlian he — but 1 don't think it is worth wliile to sing about it. Wiiy my stars — you are uoing your work nil vvrong ! What awful stitciies I I declare you had better go to bed again — you surely could not have hud sleep enough last night " — said Eliza's eldest sister. mMMMMMMM 41 Elrza molted into tears ! were tliey tears of lovo '■: Tliey could iiul Ik> for she loved once and her loved one died, and alio declared bhe \voul(J never love again for the best man in the world. Was it fatigue from l)eing up all night and dancing, tliat overcame her ? It could not be-- for fatigue is rather a balm to the spirits, and always ends in refreshing sleep. Was she offended by the imperious tone of her sistes's voice .'' It could not bo — for she never took oft'ence at that before, but rather thanked her sister for chiding her when she felt herself in error. Thou why that melancholy song, again and again ? Why those tears 'i [f she had nothing to weep for why did she weep .' There was a mys- tery. " Those Balls must be strange places," said little Mary *' there's so many nice clerks go there — I think I should bo so happy for a montli after going to one that I should'nt know what to do. My turn'l come next winter ; I shall then be fifteen — and if I don't cut you all out, ii'l not be my fault. 'Lize seems to be so lucky, she gets invitations to all tlie balls There's tliat song again ! Do "Lize, for pity's sake, sing some- thing else." Eliza suddenly stopped — for she had broken out into the song again, unwittingly — and looked confused. A. SOLII,0(lUY. " I'm sure," said Eliza — soliloquizing to herself — " his attentions to me were marked— lie danced with nie three times — yes, Ihicr limes .' — three times to dance with one young lady in tlie course of an evening, means something ; and wIkmi I danced with otliers, his eyes were always upon me. In the supper room his attentions were very kind — for a stranger ; he helped me to all tiial was going ; he ruled my dillidonct! by his oll'-handed and familiar nuinner. At first I only believed that his regard emanated from friendship ; iml when I found his attentions unre- mitting, and his language that of the heart, I felt safe in attributing his conduct to something more than belongs to friendship. It is Iriie, our ranks are unequal ; he is wealthy and I am poor — horrible ' Should I not tin n banish the idea liiat hi; i,; in love with mc .' lUit, (ojorcr girls (> : P 4-2 than I havo made good matches; so I will still encourage hope. If he deceives mc — but that can never he, for deception could not lurk be- neath such smiles as his. He danced with Lady Consequence — so he did — Lady Consequence is greater than me ! now would ho have con- descended to notice rne, had he known tliat I made her Ladyship's dres- ees ? Perhaps not ! Perhaps he took mc by my looks, and thought I was a lady ! Would he have danced with me, had he supposed I was a—a — dress-maker 9 He asked me for my number that he might call upon me. I gave it to him on my card. He will soon find out who I am and all about me, and then if his pride be not greater than his love, I think, though I am a dress-maker, he will meet me again. Now if Ah No ! Why should it.' Virtue Yes ! ■ A dress-maker Lady Consequence beauty. " When the glow-worm gilds the elfin flower " " Th«ro it is again ! the elfin flower. I wish you had the elfin flo ver and the glow-worm down your throat. I'll get mother to bridle your tongue, artd see if that won't keep it quiet. I hope it'l be the last Ball you'll goto this winter if this is the time we're to have" — said Mary petulently. It must appear Tory evident to the reader, that Elija Smith was k>vc — ^judging by her conduct ; although " She never told her love. But let concealment like a canker worm i' the bud, Feed ou her damask cheek." ill 19 IB 1 ^, CHAPTER IX. Smith was We will now introduce tlie reader to IIENUY SPROUT, ES(t. ( \.VU HIS IHIKND TAGO,) The young gentleman who danced several times with Eliza at tlie Ball, and the person whom iior sister alluded to, on account of her singing the "Banks of the Blue Moselle" so often. Sprout was a clerk in Mr. llardcash's store ; and among the ladies, was very remarkable, for pos- sessing a great head of hair — that is, he was very extravagant in the prevailing fashion, and wore his hair — which he curled twice a week — in great profusion down about the collar of his coat. He was about five feet in height, wliich is rather below the middle standard, and he looked as though he generally dressed to please the ladies. He wore gold on his fingers, around iiis neck, and a diamond breastpin in his bosom ; ho was very extravagant with his linen, judging by the length and breadtli of his shirt collar and wristbands ; indeed his collar look up so much s])ace about his mouth, that it is said he used to jump up whenever he wanted to spit, in order to clear tlie corners. ' Take liiin for all in all' lie was a very peculiar, snug, tidy looking little fellow, and wliat was better, a great beau amongst the ladies. As little men generally possess a great deal of the l)ulI-dog ferocity, it is natural tn suppose tliat Ileinv Sprout was not an exception to tiiis rule. He had ;i tein))er as inflamnia ble as gunpowder, and when it was excited lie would just as soon ipiar- rel as let it alone — purlicilarly if lii' tlnjugli* tlu" (lerrjon who iiieurr-d 44 :;!jit ! Iiiri dif jileaKUVc was ton great a coward to show him any resentment. — But tlie rnoHt remarkable ingredient in tliis little man's metal was— jm- lousy, or scJfisfinrss ; lie wished to monopolize all the girls ; and if any young man thought of the same girl that be did, he considered it an in- fringement upon his privilege, and was for duelling. On several occa- siona he challenged young men — through fits of jealousy — merely be- cause they were seen in company with certain young ladies which he had a fancy for ; but was never honoured with a meeting. He could not be reconciled by explanation — he would only have satisfaction by fighting — the conse(pience was, lie never got it. Feeling himself then a great man in hla own way — by slumping all his rivals with the pistol — he daily grew more conceited, and finally became a terror to all the young men in the city — or sucii of them as felt like going among the girls. Mr. Sproufs affection for Elizn, was considerable — or at least he thought so — although many 3'oung ladies were in doubts whether he really had any heart or not. Henry had an acquaintance, or rather bosom friend, in a young man, likewise a clerk, whom we r-hnll call fiiffo, by reason of his character and disjjosltion bearing so strong a resemblance to the Shaksperian Isca- riot. This friend was always l)eiit on mi.schicf, and nothing gave him greater delight than to see a fellow being sufl'or from mental agony. From such friends very little good can be expected — they iirc dangerous. The i:iiuse of Ingo's conduct, in love matters, generally, was attributed to a mortified disposition. It appears that he was once crossed in love ; and he swore a solemn oath that since he could not got married himself, he would exert his influence, as often as he had an opportunity, and prev(Mit otliers from enjoying that happiness. How far the evil spirit of his mind satisfied his thirst for revenge, will be seen by his conduct with Henry Sprout, Esq. One day, about a month after the Ball, these two worthies happened lo meet in tlu' Markt>t Scpinre. " Good morning," yaid Sprout, accosting Tago. •' iVIorning," answered I.ig'^, " wlKit'i! 1ir<' news to-day — any morf 15 hies hnppouod ly— !iny morr failure? t llovv does your establishment Ktnnd the pressure ? — 'spose we'll next be liearing of Hartlcasli, shelling ont two shillings to the pound, to be in company with his neighbours ?" " O no — no danger of that ! — our business is conducted upon j^rinci- plc, and not upon jjcculution." " But I say, Sprout — talking of liard times — how came you to let that girl slip through your fingers? she's going to be married, I under- stand, shortly," said lago. Sprout coloured up, and tried as much as jxissible to conceal Iiis emo- tion. His pride was stung ! It was the first intimation he had of the afiair, and he thought it very strange how such a report could be in cir- culation without its cominii to his knowledge. " Who to?" was his first inquiry, as soon as his embarrassment per mitted — " it's the first I've heard of it !" " O thunder !" (then in anotlier tone of voice) — those infernal oflicers, with their red coats ! they are always getting in some poor dovil's way. They are a complete nuisance," answered lago. Now, the word oflicer, to Mr. Sprout, was one of the most repulsive in the English language, and the way it was introduced by lago, broke upon ids car like a battering-ram, and nearly paralized his senses lie always thought, vain as he was, tliat there was a possibility of per sons so designated, being able to ' cut him out ;' but still he never thoughl that an opportunity could present itself, for a trial. lie was mistaken^ however, as tiie sequel will prove. " An officer!" exclaimed he in a weak tone of voice, which betrayed strong feelings. " What do you mean ? Wlio ? An oflicer I think you said ? — did you say an oflicer or an oftlcious character ?" wishin^f, if possible, to mistrust his apprehension. " I said an oflicer ! Yes ! Eliza Smiths going to be married to an ofli cer; I think Ihey call him, if 1 am not mistaken, Popjiinjay — Lieut. Pop junjiiy — and it's going to be soon. They are seen walking every night to- <;''tIior, as lovers generally walk, at a slow puce, and quite coai'y ; besides, the liouso is getting furnished — I know that —and orders have Ifeen given ■'\i 46 l(j Huckleberry, llic confectioner, to prcimro tlie cake. There will be a great time of it, 1 can assure yo. Who'd-a-thought that Eliza Smith would be so fortunate ! — that's the effect of beauty," said lago. " It cannot be — it shall .wt be !" said Henry, and in great trepidation he turned upon his heel, and without bidding his friend adieu, posted up the street as hard as his legs could cary him, for the Hotcfl, where he boarded, and shortly after he was in his bedroom lying prostrate on his couch — a slave to the most harrowing thoughts. Ho lay for some time, like a bewildered maniac ; his reason had forsaken him ; in whatevtr di- rection he turned his eyes, he there beheld Eliza, smiling upon him as if iu mockery ; every object in the room partook of her form and features ; she seemed more beautiful and fascinating, yet more cruel, than ever ; he felt himself the dupe of her deception. But, did she deceive him .'' No ! that wore impossible ! — it was not in her nature. She had been al- lured from her humble path, and himself, by a tinselled buffoon, an offi- cer — by his title, his rank, his money, and his flattering and ' honied words.' Such thoughts as these struggled in the young man's mind, a deep fever was seated on his brow ; and his agony became more and more intense with the return of reason. For the first time he considered himself conquered by the unerring darts of love, the most cruel enenjy of all, and which appears more horrible when the object of it is snatched away, on placed beyond reach. Eliza danced with him three several times ; her conduct towards him was not changed ; it was natural, unaf- fected, familiar, even alfoctionate ; her smiles upon him were as beuig nant as ever — their eyes met often, and responsively flashed the feelings of the heart. If slie were on tlie eve of marriage, surely these thingrs could not be ! if she was i)lighted to another, her judgement and virtue would have forl)ade her acting the part of a hypocrite ; besides, he could not believe that it was in the nature of so sweet an angel, as he thouglit Eliza, to bo his tormentor. Surely then there must be some mistake ! lago was always friendly ; he would not certainly communicate such unpleasant new's to him, if it was real, but rather leave that office for another. There must be some mijtukc thoii about this murriafrc, (coiiti- |i I' ■ ~«J» 47 nued Ilonry, in his thoughts,) a mere rumour got up by the gos- sips. Before fully making up his mind to commit suicide, he would first tent the matter a little more closely ; but if unfortunately tlio news should prove true — he knew his course." After a few moments more of consoling reflection, and debating in his own mind, Henry resolved, as the most certain and prudent course, to address a note to Eliza ; the answer of which would remove all doubts, and either make him happy or miserable. Ho accordingly sat down and wrote the following billetdeaux. Thursday aftei-Tuxm, — ■ , 1642. Deabest Eliza : I am sure you will excuse me for not calling upon you since the Ball, when I tell you that I have been very busily engaged. Do not, I be- seech you, attribute the cause to neglect. I am still Henry Sprout, and will ever continue so, as long as you show yourself Eliza Smith. But dear Eliza, there is news abroad — I do not, cannot, believe it, however — it is that you are going to bt married to an officer ! If this be true, it is all over with me ; but I shall not think it possible until it is confirmed by your own hand writing. Your aflectionato Henry Sprout. P. S. — Please seal the note in such a way that none of the reading may be injured on the opening of it. H. S. After doing up the note very carefully, with regard to the folding ; and sealing and stamping it with his crest— (which gave an imprint of a wolf's head) — Henry put it into the Post Office, through which channel it was to find its destination. In ; CHAPTER X ¥' THE CONSEQUENCES AND DRUCILLA. Lady Coneequercc and husband had now become the lions of the walk ; she amongst the ladies, and he amongst the gentlemen. TJiey gave large dinner particB, almost every evening, and generally a ball every week ; which were regularly attended by the officers and elite of tho city. They also kept pace with their dignity, by increasing the number of their servants ; one dressing maid was not sufficient for her ladyship, she must have two ; while Drucilla's office became quite a sine- cure — she was inaugurated mistress of the robes, and had very little else to attend to, except airing her mistress's dresses, whenever she wished to change them. Drucilla would have been a handsome girl, had nature in the onset, perfected all her parts — we say nothing in refer- ence to her mental organization — her optics wore blue, and considered ra- ther handsome ; the only objection at length fell in with liim at the IJAR ROOM OF THE ST. JAMES HOTEL, wliere all the politicians of the day were usually to bo found, particu- larly at night, discussing corporation mutters. lago was a great politician himself, that is if loud talking could render him such ; and he usually repaired to tho Bar-Room of the Hotel, in order to spout, in company with several Aldermen, and two or three Assistants. When Henry en- tered, lago was earnestly engaged m di-bute with an Alderman of enor- 52 inous si/..-, iiiul ifrcat power of luiiirs. He could uot, consociuently, got iiii oppoFiunify oi" speaking to Ingn ; and in order to employ his mind in li'io interim, and dissipate his sorrows, ho seated himself on the end of the counter, and took out his pencil — for he was an excellent etchei" — and caricatured to the life, several of the gentlemen who were present, aiiJ iis earnest conversation. One lie represented with i^rey head and mottled whiskers, and intend- ed him to bo about five feet six inches in hei>>ht ; this figure held a big stick in its hand, and ho designated it FalstafT". Another he represented as having on a black coat, very long in the skirts, wliich appeared as if it had been made in the olden time ; his sight was rather dim ; and his hair, which was light, hung, in pig-tail ringlets, from under a hut that liad scarcely any brim, and would have become a boy much better than a man. Tl.us figure he called Jolinny Urig. IFenry had ju.st finished his second sketch, and was about commencing a third, when lie was politely told by the landlord to get off the coun- ter ; besides, he said he did not wish ])ef'i)le to come into his Bar-llooni III " lake off" his customers. " I'm not taking them ofi',' said Henry, " they can stay here just as long as they please." •' Now you j)Ieat;e to take yourself off, or i)Ut up your pencil ; the deputy sheriff has his eye upon you now ; and he is bound to taki; up ill! suspicious lo(>king ch;iracters, and if you don'tlook sharp he'll Make you off' — for he dratr.s well. If you are determined to use your pencil, you can sit down on ibis keg, (pointing to one behind the counter,) where no i liciil ;uul lianseendeiil I r,8 !I;h Sliully III modern times, ami likowiHC Byron, bccuino dupes of the same passion ; neitlior of tlieni were successful in their first loves, and the latter sinuuered out his days a miserable misanthrope, whose chief pride consisted in abusing the frailties of his fellow mortals. " The defender of the faithful" renounced his allegiance to the Pope, and brought about one of the world's most mighty events — the Reformation — because his sighs for his mistress would not bo listened to by the Father of the (church. The most extreme happiness, and the ir.'>st extreme wretch- edness kindle in the human bosom, from that vital of all sparks — the spark of love." lago became so lost in reflection, that he at length began to imagine he was in love with somebody himself ; or if ho actually were not, he thought he ought to be, in order to be like others, as well as his friend. "But no!" he again mentalized, " he was de- ceived once, and it should be the last time — no girl should play the coquette with him again.' " What are you thinking about?" interrogated Henry of his friend, as they entered Prince Edward street, and were directly opposite the Bank " O — nothing particularly ; i was thinking — O yes I 1 was a-thinking- if that little fellow there — (pointing to a fat little man standing opposite the Bank door) — had his li d cut olF, what a singular looking object he would present ; lie would resemble a Bologne sausage as much as any thing else. That fellow now — small as he is — thinks iiimself a large man ; see how he holds iiis heail up — he is all mouth and arms, and talks even louder than tiiat six-footer with whom he is conversing. Hear him." A Sl'HEKT .Sl'Ol IKH. "Take oil' tin; Iniihci (hitie.'.-, and we are ruined ; were 1 in I'arlia nent — (here he flourished liit arms with .1 most animated gesture) — ! would defend (he ]nvseiit .sysU'iii even (<> tiie lat^t drop id' iny life'^ blood. Vi's 1 J would sufl'er my nyhl arm to Ix cut ofl, rather liian sc tills rroviiiur ijuiiverted into a desert ' " flow palnotie I" — exclaimed Sprout. S!l i 59 [>t?s of tile same lovos, and the lose chief pride " The defender M brought about 'n — because his Fatlier of the xtreme wretch- fill sparks— tlio t be at lengtJi iself; or if he be like others, " he was dc- louhl play the y of his friend, y opposite the ivas a-thinkin^- nding opposite looking object i mucli as any iinself a larse nd arms, and versing-. Hoar '' T in Parliu- gcsture)— i "1' iny lifoV: ber I ban sc; " O yes !" said Tugo " wo liavo i^'enty surb patriots in riur city. 1 linvc beard such fellows talk before to-daj', about Icsina their riglit «/7?is, i)articnlarly when tiiey wore bunting after offices, or favours of any kind. They are all like the Roman Curtius, very willing to oifer ihemselves up victims to the public good ; but when the time comes round for showing themselves what they professed to be, they invariably forget their promises. For example, was there ever a candidate for Par- liamentary or Municipal honours, but who did not (by hoodwinking the green horns) declare to the people at the hustings, that he would aid in retrenching and reforming all abuses ? but after the goal of his ambition was gained, did he prove himself a man of his word ? No I in ninety- nine out of a hundred cases, such men have become as monstrous in office, as they were patriotic before they got there. Take my advice, Henry, and never vote for a man who tries to force himself on the pub- lic by a forensic display of words. Such fellows ought only bo Irustod as far as they can be seen." "Well — I don't know but what you are about half right," answered Sprout. Sundry other characters came beneatii the observation of the travel- lers, and were connnented upon, during tlieir journey to tlie Hotel. We have not time, iiowevor, to report j)rogress at present, but shall pass on and imagine Henry and lago seated in the second story of the Aoridian I fotel — one at each window. " It is al)eautiful evening, certainly I" sairi lago, on casting bis eyes toward the heavens ; " had I a ladye-love, I think I should lake advan- tage of sucji a night, and invite her lo a walk." " So would 1 I" said Sprout. " So would you r then you moan to say yon arc' up in Iho market for tiio next fair miisclh that comes along r tbatV an acknowledgement lliat you have relincpiished nil claims to Eliza ; come, conio, Sjirout, ' fliint hearl never won fiiv Indv,' you know Ilim'1 irivo up the rnift yo\ awhile — ratiier figlil than yield, particularly in a nol)lo cause like yours. I Irust all llio days of ('liivalr\ bavo not yot dej)arled I You have as o'reat a oaii^i- MA «^ ; 60 at slake as ever liuJ any of tlie Knights Errant of old. Wliat would Eliza tiay if she heard your affection could be so easily diverted ? It may not bo true — for people cannot always answer for the truth — that Poppinjny and Eliza's arrangements have been so far completed that a ropartnership ■must foil i\v. I think the report nothin£r l)ut a weak invention of tho enemy, (lago began to cheer up at this unexpected consolation.) I have, it is true, seen the two togetlier several times, but that can afford no earthly reason that they are going to be married ; although the gossips will not agrrec in this. Why man, it was reported fifty times at least b}' these old hags, that I was going to be married ; and they were so nice in their calculations, as to appoint the widding-day. There is not a girl in the city with whom I have been in company, but has been pointed out as my future spouse, i have got so used to these reports now, that I merely listen to them for the sake of laughing. If you should ever be so fortunate, Sprout, as to get a wife, do for heaven's sake k eep her at home, and don't allow her to go among the gossips — particularly if you get one that doos'iit know how to mind her own business as well as yours ; tie her to the bed-post by all means, if you can't keep her home by any other means." " Well — women are anomalous creatures; there's a great deal of jealousy amongst them. (The idea of Henry talking of jealousy !) Such reports have been raised about me more than once ; biit they originatiMl, I know, through pique. One girl, in particular, has been trying to brew mischief against me for some time, because she thought I had slighted her in going with other girls," said Henry. " You don't mean Eliza, I hope ? No — no — I should rather think that all Acr jealousy might be crammed into a nut-shell. You must mean Miss Swisel, I think — that rattle-brained thing. (Henry nodded assent.) Well, all she can say will do no harm. Now 1 come to think of it — 'tis very likely that it washer that raised the report abo it Huckel- berry baking the wedding cake, in order to tantalize you. Depend upon it it is the ease !" " I think so too I" said Henry, in ratiiev a plaintive mood ' Drown- 61 ^^'ould Eliza It may not t Poppinjoy opartnershij) the enemy, Jiave, it is "0 earthly ps will not least by fy were so ^e is not a en pointed ow, that I Id ever be ^("P her at "■'j '^f you ^vell an JPr homo fjealousy h reports I know, to brew sli^lited ing men will catch at straws.' Henry was willing to catch at any thing that offered hope and consolation ; so that he at once agreed" with his friend that Miss Swisel was at the bottom of the wedding cake report. " I hate jealousy as l do the devil," said lago. " Shakspearo tells us that it is a ' green-eyed monster.' I hope I shall never fall into his toils. If I do, then I think I will take leave of my senses by a very summary method. I will try gunpowder as a medicine, and see what virtue there is in that. I have seen many a poor fellow with the complaint, writhing like a criminal mounting tlie gallows — his counte- nance pale, haggard, and care-worn; he imagined that every one he met in the streets stai'sd harder at him than at any body else, aa if he had been guilty of some misdemeanour. Now, if such a complaint is as easily cured as the tooth-ache, why not apply the remedy r " " Life is sweet," said lago, " life is sweet — it is not a very pleasant thing to die, particularly if you are not prepared for it." " No — that's true, but a man who gives way to the distraction of his mind, is committing suicide every moment. No — no — I go in for blow- ing brains out — that's the way to cure love." Henry did not exactly approve of this advice. He thought his own case rather dosparato, and was of opinion, should fate decide against him, that alcohol was just as good as powder in assisting a mind dis- eased. ' T think » must nodded ' think uckel- I upon own- 11 .i^ CHAPTER X[ll A VICTIM OF lOVE. " There's a poor unfortunate tiling going along," said lago — pointing 1,0 a woman in the street, apparently about forty years of age. She was very tall, and slender, and looked the picture of distress. " Who is that?" inquired Henry. " Her name is Miss M'Quivers — she was once the belle of the city, and was generally admired by every one who saw her, for her beauty, Her father was a poor but industrious man, but notwithstanding, he managed to give his daughter an acconiplislied education. At the age of seventeen, she had a host of suitors, of the first respectability, knock- ing at her door. Slie was the sovereign of all their hearts, and had the option of choosing for a partner, whicli one she thought best. Bui girls then, as now, had the same penchant for the rod-coat gentry. A lieutenant in the 8th, or King's Own, likewise became acquainted with ihe fair niamoratn, and made proposals of marriage to iier, wliich were accepted, and the day was set apart for tiie wedding. But alas ! lior wed- ding day never came ; the soldier's heart ciianged — lie married another ; and now yon porceivo in tlic disapjiointed victim, tln^ efTects of a mon- ster's wiles." " "Tis awful I ' aspirated Henry — and Eliza was in his mind. " Might not that fellow (Poppinjay) likewise deceive her ? — (thouglit he) — cer- tainly '■ and he irill deceive her, unless she have a friend to give her timely advice. Her brother John is ab.^ent, and knows nothing of the I, I 63 matter. She has aistcrs, it is true ; hut they and all other young girls, are like moths, easily cauglit by glare. Tliey ought to have a man among them. Ho would, as a friend, volunteer his services as a cuun- seUor ! But then Eliza did not answer his epistle, and a second might meet witli the same diadain — ho tlierefore concluded, that if all was true that was uttered — although he had some doubts about it — it was a great pity for the girl. " Well friend, lago" said Henry, " I think I'll start — I have had sufficient evidence to convince me that reports ought never be credited, until confirmed. 1 came here, tiirough your persuasion, expecting to sec the lovers — as you called them more than once — pass by the the house. I am satisfied they came not in this street to-night. Eliza Smith has been sadly misrepresented. She does not walk with Poppin- jay. She will yet bo mine — marriages are made in heaven, they say, and I think my name, and Eliza's, stand recorded together, in the same book." " I'll accompany you as far as the Hotel," said lago " as the Even- ing Club is about meeting. We meet to-night in ' No. 6' — the elections arc coming on, and wo have a political discussion in that room every nifrht. I hope the adage. Hen. about marriages being made in hea- ven, will prove true in your case, and that your prophecy may be fulfilled — but I havt> some doubts about it. It is no use, however, tak- ing time by the Core-lock, or saying much about the matter now. .Ki .'j' a stift' upper lip, my old fellow, and all may yet be well. F*S|«ii F ! h. ii . ! l| ] CHAPTER XIV. The friends left the house in company, to go to the St. James Hotel, lago to debate, and Henry to reflect. "Hallo — see here, Hen. — there they arc sure enough!" said lago — " Poppinjay and Eliza, walking by ' moon-light alone.' Now I suppose you will believe in your own eyes, and acknowledge that the gossips have been right for once. No — no — keep at this side of the street — don't make a fool of yourself ; there is u time for all things. It would be the height of folly to cross over to intercept them. If Eliza 1ms been unfaithful, don't remind her of it now. You will have plenty opportunities. If she has -vxy affection for you at all, and you now attempt to «;ut up any luad pranks, you will only excite her prejudice against you. Besides, you may run a chance of getting n ' licking' from that long-legged strut — he is much stouter and heavier than either you or I ; and you may depend if he has any gallantry at all, lie would not suffer you to make a charge against a lady under his protection. I'll put you an to a scheme — take my advice — I have a remedy ; and as I said before, all may yet be well. Tnt man, don't make a child of yourself — listen I" Henry, who as we are led to suppose, was rafhrr overcome by this unexpected siglit, now turned an ear lo his friend. " Listen to what .- There can br itn remedy for a banknijit lover. My crcd.'t i» now below par witii Eliza — ' cnurtinu tfiM.H bv lavour' — I. 65 that's enough. Wliat'U the young men say P Sho will only discount the treasures of her heart to that infamous scoundrel, who will yet df- ceive her ; yes I he'll deceive her, as sure as her name's Eliza. O that girls should be such fools as to " " Nonsense man, nonsense ; what's the use of going on at that incohe- rent rate .' You have a remedy. Challenge the fellow ; challenge hiin ; put him out of the way ; shoot him ; he deserves to be shot. What say you .'" " Fll take your advice, lago ; I'll challenge him to-morrow ; I'll do any thing ! Yes, by heavens I'll do any thing !" said Sprout Imrridly, and the friends separated. Although Henry was frily res )lved upon fighting, he was not without a hope that he would bo able toblufi^off his rival, as ho had others ; that is, that Poppinjay would be i.w several persons (usually to be seen loitering among a small bevy of male ffossips, whose place of ineuting was in a mud puddle, near a certain printing office) who would not hesitalo u moment to come forward , they had only cmploynu nt for their tongue^" and iiol iheir lionds ; consequcnlly there would be no difliculty in find tng a substitute, who, if not worth a rap, ecrtuinly might be worth a 07 dhot. Poppinjay, he thought, would not accept a challenge from a I'lo- boian — it would be rather doigrading ; besides, lie tliought Poppinjay was like a good many more of his brother officers — that is, he set a higher value upon life than he did upon honour It is not every man (thouglit lago) that wears a red coat willi a fvvord buckled to his side, who is a champion. No — no — indeed : most of these fellows do well enough lu peace, when there is no danger, to strut before the girls like peacocks displaying their plumage ; but take them to battle, amidst the clashing of arms, the thundering of artillery, and tlie groans of the dying, and they would wish themselves at their mammy's apron strings once more It is Jill very well to hold a commission in peaceable times, and wear a red coat, trimmed with gold lace ; but a red coa'., will never make ii. brave man out of a coward. At all events, (continued Henry, in his thoughts,) he would soon see what sort of stuff Poppinjay was made of — he lioped he was not a coward, for that would spoil all the fun, unless he coul! oarry out his plans. Wiicn lago arrived at the Barracks, the officers were seated round tlic mess-table, busily engaged discussing the merits of roast beef, and champaign; and no doubt, as was their wont, offering a few reflections upon Colonial Society — not forgetting the Consequences, who took such delight in felting them two or three times a-week, at tlie expense, iki doubt, of tlieir creditors. " O'i siiy it is — dem me if it is'nt," said Poppinjay We do not know exactly what it was, but Pop. was in great earnest. *' What's this — fallow ?' said he to the servant vvlio handed him a note. " A note Sir — gentlemar waiting at the door for an answer — says hc'n in II iiurry.'" Popiiinjay opened liie note, and very carefully road il.< contents — soinc of the words not being very legible, he got the Hon. Gr-orgr Allripice, who was sitting beside him, to help him to decipher. '' Satisfaction !" exclaimed Pop., after lie had finished rending, " why the fiiUoAV ! wlio the daval is he' Satisfaeln'ii for what? — (AlUpict' cliuckled) — dem me but tin- fallow's cracked '' .;5 • V ,. » . ii w\ t- m\\ il! M i.^ 'il I'Jj i ) ' 9 ' ^ ■ vlP ' 68 " IJallo ! " siiid lihioJ, what's goino on there in the corner? (The ih)tG wiiB lianded to Jilood — lie being a senior officer — and lie read it.) lla I lia ! my old hid — then Allspice is not the only gentleman among us bewitched by girl-eial1[.. Jlow sly P' . iias kept it ! who is the yonng lady Pop. — is she rich ? [ think tlie soolkv our Regiment moves from t'lis garrison llie better ; for if wo stay In ^ nuich longer our baggage >vaggonH will be pretty well lumbered by the time we go ' Poppinjay — finding that he was, in turn, like Allspice some time be- fore, (juizzed rather frei'ly — b<'caine (juite exasperated, and he was de- termined to wreak his vengeance upon the head or hide of the intruder, and instigator — the aulhor of the challenge, Henry Sprout, Esq., clerk to Mr. Ilardeash — wliocver Ac was .' lie acciirdingly rei)aired to his iohim and wrote the following reply : Baruac Ks, July 30. " Lieut. Poppinjay in reply to a note received from one Sprout, begs to sny, lliuf he has not Ibe honour of that gi'ntleman's ac([uaintance — but as an oH'icer in II. 1>I. oiHli Regt. he certainly cannot decline the A»k! invitation of Mr. Sprout, to a //•/('« /ilndnrsn to call him n //^/r.sVf^Wf being, for reasons best known to himself. As i/vz/fr then isriitber scarce in this I'rovince, Lieut. P. has not the least objection to take a shot at the fust bird that conies along. Lieut. P. will be on the ground — rear of Flap's barn, near the Frog Ti'.vern — precisely :it T) o'clock, to-morrow morning, with pistol and second. To a youi'g ni. ', called 1 Hi:>'uv Si'KouT. ) The note was carelessly folded and given to the servant to put into tLi hands of lago. Henry was in his bed-room when lago arrived at the Hotel ; hie mind filled with 'strange fanci»>Hl' When he heard the feot^teps of his fiend on the stairs, like Mackbelh, he trembled — not knowing whether he w.iti about to receive a summons to prepare for ilc<(lli, or the gratifying intelligence that Poppinjay had refused to meet him, in honourable com- b. ;. His doubts were soon relieved. lago opened the door, and stalked into the room as unconcernedly as if he was the bearer of a bank notice, instead of a note that savoured very strongly of brimstone and leaden I'all- He drew the note (piite leisurely from his pocket, ond gave it to 69 IIeni'3' ; Iio thoti p: ized hold of a novvspniii'r, wliicli wn« lyiiijj on the floor, .ind sealed himself on the fool of Ihu bedBlcadjiind pretended lobe reading, in order that Henry mijrht scan his epintle, undistnrbed. lajfo knew well the contents of the note, for ho peeped into it (,'oinir alonir, by way of paying himself postage ; ho snspccted well the efl'ect it would have, and he merely took up the newspaper by wiiy of divcrtisement, and to be the better able to eye llcnry wliile he was devouring the contents of the reply. If Henry before trembled from imaginary fears, he now trembled with inlereHt ; for alas ! there wiis reality in the wny, awfully real. There was no misundenjlanding Poppinjay. He was tciUinsr to fight. There wms no alternative tlien left to Henry, si net; he sent the challenge but to go forward ; if he 'backed out,' he would be posted as n coward, and be disgrneed and despised, not only in the estimation of the young men he challenged before, but also in Eliza's, which would be worse tiian all ^^ One Henry Sprout — ahem! Onn I .'" Henry pronounced this word one with peculiar emphasis, and considerable emotion. lie thought all the world knew him, if for no other reason than because of liis courage in duel matters. " Wluit are you onciiig about .'" interrogated lago, pretending to a great deal of ignorance in tiie alfair — " won't he fight with one of your caste — the jackdaw ! does he thin)': ,uu beneath liis notice — or what.'" "No — I believe not — (althougii Henry on this occasion, no doubt, wished he did) — he calls me one Henry Sprout; for that word alone, I think I ought to treat Poppinjay with contempt, and not ])ut myself out of the icny to gel in his." " What.' — Pop him for his impudence — that's the way to fix him ! if you let him oft' when you have such an excellent opportunity of mak- ing a hole in ills carcase, you ought to be kicked from Dap to Berslicba, and back again — you ought to be stuck in tiie pillory ania\ '>\y of course I will think of it I" '- i vas going to explain when yon interrupted me. Well, to tell you the truth lago, I don't care about getting up so early in the morning ; I know I should be sick for a week afterwards, (if I don't get killed,) as n-y usu .1 hour of rising is eight o'clock Besides, Poppinjay is a soldier, and of course a better shot than me — a civilian. Now, suppose you go to fcome Alderman to-night, and secretly apprise him of what is going to happen in the morning ; and of course, he, in duty bound, will have to interpose his authority, and come out and prevent the duel occurring, and bind us both over to keep the peace. If you will do this, our honour may be preserved, without getting any blood spilt. What say you, liiend lago — (slapping him on the shoulder) — what say you?" and he ' paused for a reply.' " Don't know how that would answer," said lago, after considerable hesitation ; " 'fraid it would'nt do very well ; can't place much depen- went home, as much pleased as if he were yoiug to attend a weddinjr in the morning, instead of ii (hiel. i^ i HI ?il (JHAP'rr.ii XVII rni; .mis.-; j^miphs tuAiN — \ ui.stov i;uy. " Now — Eliza, it does not do to he si!en so often witli him VVitat In- says may he true — but I huvi; heatd m(!n before to-day, talk |Ust in thai way to the girls, and aflor all deceive them. Tiiese men ar.; not to \w trusted — particularly officers — until you are certain of them. Thc'. .; Mrs. Grundy trying to make; all the mischief she can about the matter. There was another large tea-party last night down at Mr.s. Jones', and Dolly Blab tells me your name was severely handled during all tea-time. I really don't like it, Eli/a. if li is in earnest, he ought to avow him- self immediately, and not keep dilly-dallying in the way he does" — said Mrs. Smith. " Mother, yo\i an- too nici; I " — said the eider Miss Smith , " you wonld'nt have him make i)ropo3als of marriage to Eli?a until after he Jiad done a reasonable share of courting, J hope? They have only been acquainted now a few weckf- ■. hardly sufficient tim • for them to nnder- stand each o»hcr'i« disju.sitien — hu, Eliza .' — besides, lia.stv mairinges ■M ■-Mfi m 74 ■eldom end well ; that'a what Marm Jacob ' used to tell the scholars, in her lectures, after catechism, always on Saturday." " What a figure 'Liza will cut by-and-by," — said little Mary ; " 'epose she'll hardly notice us ? 'Lize, 'spose you make me your drei sing-maid ; I think I would do as well as Lady Consequences', and I am sure I'm handsomer. ' (Mary oast a furtive glance at the looking glass, opposite her.) " And /'msure," interrupted Mrs. Smith, "you have more gab ! — yes, jnore than all the waiting maids in the city put together. You'll be just as great a blabber by-and-by as Mrs. Grundy. Lord help the man that'll get you ; (Mary pouted) he will have a sorry time of it." " Did any of you see that reel of black silk .'" inquired Eliza, rum- maging in thb work-basket — and almost in the same breath—" Why ! what is this ? who is this note from ? (Mary was taken ' a-back,' and looked quite confused.) I suppose it is about that pellerine again, from Mrs. Tab ? (Slie commenced opening the note quite deliberately. Mary attempted to take it from her) " What ! — why what does this mean .' a note from Mr. Sprout, I do declare ! Why, how is it that I did not get this before ? it is now nearly three weeks old ! Now, mother, if this ii not provoking. This is some of Miss Mary's work, I know ; such impu- dence, to go and open my letters, and then to try and hide them from me besides !" Mary made ful) confession. ft appears that hlie received Henry's note, addressed to Eliza, which the reader will recollect of, from the Post-man, at the hall-door, the next day after it was written ; and full of curiosity as well as mischief, she took the liberty of prying into the end of it, in order to see if she could not discover a secret ; — as young girls are more fond of getting hold of secrets, than keeping them. Her eye fell upon Sprout's autograph, and not feelmg at the best of times much friendship for that gentleman, she cracked the st il, and read the epistle. " He talk of love to Eliza ; he might as well try to woo a Cleo- patra!' said she, after she had read it; " pretty thing indeed ! Kliza'll have somebody better than he is, or ever will be ; she's going to have lulars, in , " 'epose n£-maid ; sure I'm , opposite ab ! — yes, '11 be just lan that'll lliza, rum- -" Why ! back,' and gain, from sly. Mary lis mean ? id not get r, if this ii uch impu- n from nie |d Henry's from the ; and full ig into the -as youiig Img them. ^t of times read the )o a Cleo- Eliza'll Ig to have I 75 an officer, that's what ehe's going to have. Shp'l'. not get this note, 1 know, for she miglit answer it, and encourage that Cabbage Sprout to come to the house again ; then the lieutenant will keep away. Henry Sprout, indeed ! — ha ! Henry Sprout ! 'pon my word I" — and Mary turned up the end of her nose quite superciliously, until it nearly formeil a parallel line with her eye-brows. After reading the note over half-a- dozen times, she very incautiously put it in the work-basket — (where it was found by Eliza) — with the intention of burning it, a.^ ^oon as she should go down staii^ ' ito the kitchen ; but it slipped her memory — for her mind was like a sieve, rather leaky , it could retain nothing for a longer time than five minutes ; and so she betrayed herself " Now, Mary," said Eliza " nad it been Kate Pry, who served me such a trick, I should not have wondered." " Well — I did it all for your own good ;" answered Mary, pertly. " Little girls ought'ntto take so much upon themselves," said the mo- thi r, '• why did you not show the note to me, after you opened it, and ask my advice ? Why even your poor father, when he was alive, would not do any thing witliout my knowledge I you ought to be ashamed of yourself — indeed and you ought." Mary slipped out of the room ; she saw that a storm was gathering ;, and to get out of danger took her work and went down stairs." " It would be of very little use now to answer the note — it is so out of date. That's been the reason of Sprout's staying awny from the house, depend upon it"-— said Eliza. •' I don't wonder at it" — said tlie elder Miss Smith ; " but perhaps it is just as well after all ; had he continued his visits, you would have felt yourself in duty bound to encourage him, as you have always done, Eli- za ; consequently, the lieuten.ant and you would not now be so intimate." " Yes — but I would liJio to disabuse his mind by asserting my inno- cence. It is hard to be blamed when one is not in the wrong. To bo accused without feeling guilty, is a torture I can hardly suffer." " But, Eliza," said her sister, " no excu.se now, however plausibly worded, would be admitted by Sprout; he would not credit any state- 11 'i:,v I i m i -iwl fill :l miMU ; bt'sidi's, it would only be the uu-ans of tlirowing disgrace upon Mary, conrfO(iueiitly upon the family ; and depend upon it, Sprout would jnakc the most out ol" the matter ; lic'd proclaim it among all tho clerks in the city, just by way of retaliation." After a few ininutoa more of debate, it was finally concluded that it would be as well not to answer Henry h note at so unsoasonable a time. ClIAPTKH Will A NIOHT OF HOIlltOTl " Here to-niglit, to-Uiorrow, where f" said Henry, (unconsciously re- peating the .soliloquy of the Bosworth Hero,) after his friend lago had letil him for the night. To-morrow neve comes, thev say I Were weekH n it portioned into days, that would d< very well. To-morrow always is at hand. But lo-morrow — Friday I — ah ! Friday will come! that's the closest morrow to inc. Would it were not so ! would that Friday had been blotted out of tho Calendar some six months since, then fate had not ordaincnl for me this night of gloom ; (he took out his watch and wound it up — the hands pointed to twelve.) By this time to-morrow, 'twill all be over. 1 will then (-ither be lying below stairs in a winding- sheet — (ho shuddered) — or walking about the streets a new crowned champion. But, lago is my friend. He'll stick to his promise, and ap- t>rise an Alderman ! But again, should the Alderman oversleep himself, which is not improl>able, what then .' There will be no appeal ! No alternative left but to tight, ytoj) I Could 1 not manage to oversleep t!ie hour myself.^ That would be the suretit plan. Now, it cannot be ex- pected that a man can wake up and take possession of his senses, any jn umunt ho please*. It is against the rules of philosophy ; and if I , ■ ■ ) ■ 4 77 oversleep myself it will not he my fault — it will be an itror in nature. I'll do it ! and perhaps the extra nap may serve me !" With these reflections upon his mind, Henry — after taking a farewell peep into his mirror for the night — turned into bed. Although he found consolation in his sciieme of oversleeping himself, still he had enough fears left upon his mind to keep him awake. The truth of the matter Wcas, he felt himself upon the threshold of a great event; a crisis was approaching — no matter how it was to end — which he never anticipa- ted, although he had often thrown himself in the way. He tried to sleep hut could not — he turned from side to side full twenty times within an iioiir — he tried to banish all thoughts of the morrow ; but in vain. The town clock struck two, with dismal tone, and still he was awake ; and as the l)ell chimed the hours away, he felt his situation still more awful ; the clock struck three, and still he was awake ; two hours more were only left him to prepare for — death (?) He never knew before the true value of time; it was now to him an inestimable treasure. At length nature became exhausted, and Henry, for the first time thiit night, fell asleep — btit it was not that sleep which ' knits up the ravelling sleeve of care ;' he slept, but with a fevered brain ; his imagination was still awake, and roaming in scenes of terror ; ever and anon he would start from his fit ful slumbers, as if beset by earthn to I ft* as ?d its iH, niui III) :kly anv .liapB — ; they'll t hem- Id drctiH ;• til illy I'd to hi« |PK« n to 79 I upbraid himself for having entertained such cowardly feelings. At all events, he thought it would be as well to take as many precautions as possible, to secure the safety of his life ; accordingly he encased his bo- dy in half a dozen cotton and flannel shirts, outside of which he rolled a larffe piece of stout canvas ; he next put on his vest, which was wadded well with cotton wool — and above all, his coat, which he found much difficulty in buttoning, owing to his unnatural proportions. It would bo as well to add, that he did not leave his legs out of fashion with his body — in addition to his usual covering about these parts, he put on a p ir of cordcroy brccclics, over which a pair of leather ones. Having thus hablimented himself with a coat of armour, that seemed to him impervious, he put on his hat, which was a fealt one, and sallied forth to meet his rival, Lieutenant Poppinjay, of His Majesty's 59th Regiment. r i II .a" ' '^M /i#' i 1^ §■>. f, CHAPTER XIX It was a deliglitful iiiorniiig wlicn the fnondM wiMit forth; the sun was about an hour liigh, and tho dew yet liung upon the leaves; the Uttle birds were leaping from bough to bowgli, dashing the spray as they went, and chirruping forth their innocent notes of life and love. The whole forest seemed vocal with the feathered choir. The air was filled with odours, which ascended from the wild flowers of the forest — not ;i, zephyr came to waft them away to other tropics — all, all, was tranquil- lity, as if earth and heaven were blended into one. At length the friends reached the fatal ground — fatal, because a death- scene was about being enacted there. It wns half past five, and no Poppinjay and friends, were visible. " What can be the matter .' ' said Henry, " I expect not only the Al- derman must have overslept himself, but also one of the prindpah in this matter," and he felt pleased to think it might be so, for in such cij«e, he would ettme oft' victor, witiiout going tlirough the ugly ordeal of trigger-pulling. " Tu», man — ^^ must give them iialf-an-hours grace — they 11 be here in a few minutes, I'll venture." And the vords were no sooner out of lago's mouth than niiddenly there appeareil i)n the verge of the horizfm, three black specks, moving towards thoni ; they were oquidistiuices apart — perhaps a iiuartor of u mile— iind tliv»y were so far off, titat it wuw iinpooNible, at first, to define ; the sun caves ; tho ay as thoy ovp. The was filled rcKt — not i\ 1 tranquil - ii death- and no ly the Al- tripahi in m such V ordeal 11 he here suddenly moving rler of a to define 81 irinether thiy wore men or muks — as inulos jronerally j^razed on tin lulls iii the vicinity. At length, an the speckii approached, two of them were recognized quite distinctly, as human beings, and not mules ; there were 3ome doubts, however, about the third, which, as it turned out after- wards, was s'^ very small, that it took a longer time to become visible, ao that no accurate idea could yet be formed of the class ot animals to which it belonged. " Yes !— '■there they are, sure enough" said lago. " That's a fact," said Henry, in rather an uncomfortable tone. " There's Poppinjay on a-head ; I can tell him by his lengtii, and the way he swings his anna, for he swaggers very much," said lago. " The other must be his second — no doubt the Hon. George All bpice," said Henry. By this time the three, althougii widely separated at first, hud nearly converged to a point ; the reason was, they had to cross an abideau, whieii was the only pass leading to Flapp's barn, from that direction, owing to a long creek that intervened. " And the third (which now proved to be a little man with an nnd»rell;i over his shoulder to keep the rays of the sun ofl) nmst be the Doctor " " Yes ! that's Doctor Sjjuint," said lago, " 1 know him by his size ; lie's the littlest man 1 know of — (another look) — yes, that's Doctor Scjuint, sure enough." " The Alderman then certainly nuist have overskpl himself, fur he comes not," said Henry. " 1 anticipated us much last night when 1 spoke to one — (tins wa.-; ut- tered without conscience) — you can place no dependenet' in those fellows. Like that ' debating society' we saw moving down Oermain street, on Wednesday, they thnik more of their dinners thiui they do of their duties. They are seldom troubled with compunctious visitings. Why man ! 1 saw oiu> of them steal a goose out ol a -ounlry man's wa<;'goii, a lew days ago — under pretence! «)!' lining him — becauue the < onntrynian ha|:ptonsililc (Surrrn- incut, iipi'ii I loiul principles The debatijig of this rjuestion was attend h H3 'i t. * i i; islii'd to [■ upon |r. I'un- niinor liovrrn- atk'iid cil with a groat deal of warmth of fi-olinir, and It wan suppofcd at one time, that something seriouH wouhi occur l)Ptwoen Mr. Cros;,cut and Johnny Noakcs, who were Icadors in thr contest, on opposite sides. — From " Responsible Government" the party took up the subj»;ct that more immediately concerned them — Ilcnry Sprout, Esq. in particular — tlie subject of tlie duel. JoiiNKv NoAKKS. — Tliis fighting with pistols is all liundnig. i adinirr the old fisticuft' system — (hero Johnny Noakes threw himsolf back in .1 pugilistic attitude) — a small man has as good a chance in a duel as a l)iir one — in fact better, because the balls are very apt to fly over his luNid. Henry Sprout thouglit Johnny was al)out two-thirds right, and In- scanned his shadow on the ground. PuNGKNT. — Then Mr. Noakes 1 should think that you would approve of the modern system of settling diiferences — you (and he ran his eye from head to foot, and back again, on Johnny s body) wotild stand a capital chance before a pistol, wliile my long iriend Crosscut here, would be very apt to get his teeth d(>rnnged. Iaoo. — Excuse me gentlemen ; bill Ibis is rather tedious work, fjere we have been standing full half an hour for our advoriarics to come up, and yet they ap[ieiir to be as far off as ever. I always said that there were more cowards to be found amongst solilirrs than eivilians We have suflicient evidence of it this morning I think. JouNNV NtiAKES. — Very likely they've be(>n mi a sjiree at ('onse- (|uence's last night, and went home yqiikzhd. — (Aller a pause.) — Now I come ♦... think on't, I saw that black i'ellow of Conseipj<>nce'p who used (o wear ihe big hat I mean, lugging into tlic bouse irsand biskets full ot soinetliing, all the forenoon , and (" Uat's alio — by gor-a-niily it Vi a lie. ) Johnny suddenly stojiped, and llie whole company looked at one another, and then >ip at the sky, on aeeoimt of the int( rrnption, whieli eami- in (juile an unearthly (one of voice They tliou'.rb' if Ibi d, whon out sallied Lieutenant Poppinjay, looking pitch-forks ; . .' . (roorgo Allspic(> ; Dr. Squint ; a man with a, largo gown on, who wvi intended to represent a parson ; and last, not least, Caleb bearinyr u eoin'i o:. li i back. The company were now more than ever staggered, and looked unut- terable things, from so intrusive and unexpected a meeting with the very ni<>n about whom they were Just conversing, and whom they considered at home, and in their heels, out of hearing. JJefore proceeding farther, we will explain tlie niystory vvhirli ajipears to envelope this part of ouv narrative. g tl CHAPTER XX. m A MYSTEIIV r". f.AlNKI) It Hccnis that after I'op|>injay liiul sent, liis aiiswiM- to Henry '.s dial lengc, Iio and Iiis mcss-vialis went into !i " e(ijninitt(>o of wnys hikI ineans," in order to iirranijo i)roliniinarieH for tlie duel, and to deviKe Home scheme for ronderiiiir tlio nfl'air as etlbctivo mh i)osHil)Ie, in sidxliiiiiij,- Henry. They agreed tliat nothinj.- could disarm a niitn ([nirker than friirlit. Accordingly they had a coflin prepared, and deputed (Jaleb to carry it to tlie scene of action ; and they s(dected a private soldier from the regiment, and put a cloak on him, in order that he should represeul a Parson. Caleh at all times was on hand, whenever there was a chance of earning a pcMiny — he was (.'very jjody's servant, whenever there was money to be made ; and as lie had been iti the haliit of running b;ick- wards and forwards, with notes, between his master's house and the ' Mess,' lie became quite a favourite wilii the odlcers, and did many jo/av for them, whenever their servants happened to be absent. How iiirthe cloak and coflin idea operated will be shown. The ofiicers haseried them in the distance, and liny all went into the barn (o listen, in secret, to wiiat might b(> snitl outside. Th^y were highly amused, no doubt, by the conversation we have already recorded Tliey had a great deal of dilTirulty at first in preserving silence in the I'iirn, (tn acccount of (^ah-h ; who, not being in thi' Inblt of rising at so early an hour, would occasionally fall into a doze, and snore loml enough to lie heard across the pond, opposite the barn. The pri\ntr— or r-itber 1HI 'i >\ i 'I 86 parson — W!is placed as a Rcntinol over liim with a stick to keep him awake ; by divers application of said stick on Caleb's siiins, every time he fell asleep, he was, after the first nap or two, brought under subjection. He was strictly cautioned by the Hon. George, from the first moment they entered the barn, to keep as quiet as death, which injunction he obeyed admirably well — barring tlio snoring — u; c. he heard his own name brought on the carpet, by Jolinny Noakes. Now Caleb bore a strong prejudice to Noakes. It api)ear8 that this individual employed Calelj's wife — for Caleb had a wife — to mend his shirts, and afterwards he re- fused to pay her ; because, forsooth, there was no law specifying ' skirt 7ncn(Ung,' consequently he tliought that payment could not be enforced, and he was determined not to pay. As above stated, when Caleb heard his name mentioned, by no less an individual than Johnny Noakes, he put his mouth to a knot-hole in the side of the barn, immediately over the head of the defendant, and sent forth most venomously, a flat contradiction, as before noticed. Poppin- jay being a man of spirit as well as pride, likewise felt mortally wounded on hearing Jolmny trying to traduce his character, by stating that he saw Ilia (I'oppinjay's) servant carry his master home one night on his back — which implied a great deal Such a charge was more than any gentle- man r.iiuld stand, and he was determined it should be contradicted be- fore it got co(d. He followed Caleb's plan, and let his steam out of the first diink that could be found, and then made a rush to the door, with liis friends and supporters at his beck. THE DUEL. "Stand back, and let the coffin pass ; or by Heavens I'll make a srhoat of him wiio disobeys," said Poppinjiiy, in the language of Shak- •ipcan', Miodiiied, as lie issued from the barn, and seeing Paul Black, and .several others, trying to trip Caleb up, witli his burthen. " 'Tandback, why cant you, and let dc coilin pass; don't you hear massa speakin' to yous : Get out de way, or by gosh one o' you git in'l 'fore long,'" said Caleb, sweating beneath his burthen, and bloving like !i wiirnlci'il 1 im awake ; imc he fell ;t)on. He )nicnt they h(! obeyed own name re a strong red Calelf's rds ho rc- fying ' shirt e enforced, by no less net-hole in nt, and sent i. Poppin- ly wounded that he saw his back — ny gentle- dieted be- out oi' the door, with I'll make a of Shak- |iul Black, you hear |o' you git III bio ving >-^ 4 ;'>-4t^:X'- 87 Poppinjay made up to Jolinny Noakes. " Fallow ! whr did yod r ...an by that obsa. /Mtn.n you just now ' threw out' about me an. ny sarvunt, under the barn ?" inquired Pop. with an air of offended dij^n.ity. " Me? — O — ah — \'3S — no — () — I did not allude to you. I was — yes, I was speaking of ano^ier person. I beg pardon Sir ; no oifenre," an- swered Mr. ioakep. " Wallo'im mistaken then — of course youi apologv I? aukceptcd" re- turned Lieut. Poppinjay. It is a lucky thing thf-t this difference was so easily arranged, dr there's no knowing what might have found its way into the columns of the newspapers ; instead of one duel, it is very likely there would have been two to report, Let us now turn our attention for a few moments to Henry Sprout, Esq., who waa standing alone, while the seconds were arranging preli- minaries. As might well be imagined, as soon as Henry saw Jie cofl^i' and the counterfeit parson make their appearance, he felt more uncom- fortable than ever. His old complaint, viz : palpitation of the heart, and weakness in the joints, returned to him, with aggravated symptoms. He would have done very well had it not been for these grave objects. Now he was completely unmanned. He very naturally thour" t tliat the coffin was intended for the one who should fall, and his prescience led him to believe that that one was to be himself; and the parson was present to read over the burial service. " Where has the grave been dug .' " interrogated Poppinjay of All- Kpice, with considerable nonchalance, within the hearing of Sprout. Allspice could not repress a smile, as he replied : " In the woods, a short distance off." And he put his hand up to his lace to cover the smile. Perhaps it is unnecessary to inform the reader that there was a grout deal of romance in this question and mwwer, and that i^ grave had beeit |)re pared. . n i .^' \^ji'^ CHAPTER XXI. ti'^> m III ill Tho two seconds, Hon. George AllBpice and lago, had now arranged the prolitninaries for the duel. lago took his principal aside, and in a subdued tone of voicCj, entered into conversation with him, as if he were putting Henry up to mischief ; ever and anon he would ogle Poppinjay over his friend's shoulder, which seemed to imply " your time has come at last my old fellow." He now drew the pistols forth from the bag, likewise the powder and !)alls, .ud last of all, the newspapers for wad- ding. He hesitated for wic tu le which paper to choose ; he wished to select the stiffesi one — a^^ ti^ey all seemed rather soft — the one most like- ly to drive a ball through Poppinjay's ribs. At length he concluded that as the ' Scratchcr' was more rabid than any of its cotemporaries, he would make uge of it, so he rammeu this paper into the pistol at a tear- ing rate, put in the ball, placed the weapon in Henry's hand, and slowly said : " There you are — now keep a steady hand, my hearty." This advice was of very little avail to Henry; he had his eyes conti- nually 'i>cnt upon the coffin and the parson, which objects seemed to affect him as much as they could a culprit, for he had a presentiment that he was to die, and not Poppinjay. Allspice and Poppinjay were likewise engaged with Civch other, at the same time, a siiort distance olF At length signal was given that the parties were prepared for action. The Editors and Publishers, Paul w arranged c, and in a i if he were Poppinjay has come m the bagy s for wad- wishcd to most like- Icludcd that raries, he at a tcar- laiid slowly lyes conti- 3d to affect hit that he other, at In that the liers, Paul %#i»»- ) -.>; 89 Black, and Caleb, run in diffi-rent directions, to g.-lect tlie best and must eligible sites fiut of danger) to witness the conflict. Mr. Ciosscni. seated himself on a tree-stump, some tliirty yards off, and took out his pencil, and a large roll of writing paper, for tlie purpose ' taking notes. Jolinny Noakea got immediately oppDsiti; him, 0]>fned Jiis um- brella — whicli was to servo as a shield to keep tht- balls ■ luat- ted down behind it, fully satisfyed tliat hi: was out of and anon .l"lmny miglit be seen peeping over the top of 1 .e a turtle from under its shell, to squint round and see how thnlg^. n'. re going on outside ; he would then haul it in for a few moments, and re- peat the action. Mr. Pungent mounted a spruce tree, in tlie neigld)or- hood, and like (^Iiarles of old, hid himself amongst its branches. Mr Credible still retained his scat in tiie saddle, rear of Paul Black, on llie three-legg'^d poney. The poney was hobbled over to a thicket of woods, a short distance off, to graze. Caleb got behind a poplar tree, on a parallel line, left of Henry, and nothing of him could be seen but lii.s knee.^ and heels, whicii were sticking out in oppo.nite ilirections. The ground was next measured off, and tlie seconds Uiok ijicii places. A death-like silence reigned. " GentleuK'n a/e you ready .'" shouted tlie Doctor. The combatants raised their arms — il, was a trying mciment--lhe ne.vf, and one or the other, perhaps both, might be laum^lieil into cltTnity. A cloud suddenly passed athwart the sun, for the first lime thai mornnig, and darkened the landscape — the parties thought it ominous, and were impatient for the signal in order to know the worst. " Ijook dar" — shoult.'d Caleb at thi- top of his lungs and willi a mo;il. animated gcsttir.', at this dreadful niomciil, ami when the word Jirr was on the Doctor's lips. This interruption fell like a thunder claif m[miii tilt' ears of the duellists and seconds, as it prolonged [nispciise — they turned tlii'ir ey:'s in the direction that Caleb poiiilcd, .ni.l wiiat llnnk yu reader, they beheld P Johnny Noakes and Mr. Crosscut i;ikiii:; lilitii;.:; with one anolin-r's ' ril>s" by nieaiu-; of tlh'ir kiuiikhs. iJy lliclmc- some of the pirtje.'; g*)! ii/t ,li|iniiv \vi> il'iirn, wifli Mr. Cios;;r\il ..p. 11 f III m H ill V] ^f /a c^l > .^^ 'ew ^' *» a^-"^ O / v^ IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) 1.0 !Sii- IIM I.I '^ IfllM If I4g 25 2.2 2.0 1.8 Photographic Sciences Corporation 1.25 1.4 1.6 -• 6" — ► 23 WIST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, NY M580 (716) 872-4503 c^- /J \ O V ■'■;-"•"'; *v'^'"'?7ss('Bion of [id had no- that waH huHinesH, tlicred, to llHtillir ()U(i Ithiiilitth' 97 man who wore Bpectacles, and waa Hitting hy iiimselJ'al a table, rcadiiiir a ncwHpaper and Hmoking a cigar. *' Yes !" answered Sprout and lago, simultaneously. "Well — tiiat little fellow is one of the most useful citizens we iiiiv<> ; his name is Quilps ; but ho is nick-namod by tlie boys ' invisible Hill,' and by some ftjlks, ' the Spy' — on account of his htivinaj an innisihle coat, which ho puts on xipon certain occasions. By means of this coat he is onaldcd to attend all kinds of secret meetings, and hear every thing that is said and «lone, uuobnorved. Fie is a , where tho fat man, the lean man, the wag, &c. &c., were discussing over the ' affairs of state' as before alluded to. Sud- denly tlic wliole company sprang to their feet, as if they had sat upon pins, and ruslied to the door, apparently anxious to see who should get out into tho street first. It would be as well here to state that they paid for their liquor before going. " Very mysterious — is'nt it ?" said Sprout — " surely all this excite- ment can't be about the duel .'" " Very strange indeed !" — said lago. " No — no ! there must be some- thing more than the duel at the bottom of all tliis." " There's one thing certain ! if it is not about the duel, it is about sometliing else ; but it can't be about the duel — for how could that ruin the gentleman who ran out'in such a hurry, with Quilps" — said Henry. " No — I'm certain it's about something else, for they were talking of the duel when we entered the room" — said lago. " We'll know more about it when we get farther into town, no doubt, said Sprout" — and they both turned upon their heels, and left the Coffee House together. As they proceeded onward, they noticed a great many merchants, standing at the corners of the streets, in little knots, apparently engag- ed in secret conversation. Some appeared to be quite agitated, and in distress, as if a plague had got among their families, and robbed them of all that was near and dear to them — others, by their gestures and looks, seemed to bo offering consolation. The whole city indeed was full of excitement ; men were afraid to open their mouths wide ; their conver- sation was conducted in almost inaiidiblo whispers. " Well," said lago, " it is very strange we cannot meet with any one communicative enough to inform us what all this whispering is about." •' Nobody ajipears to be looking at us," said Sprout, " consequently it cannot be the duel that puts people in such a Hurry." •'Stop! I'll ask that tall chap yonder; perhaps he'll tell us," said lago, f . 101 " O, you might just as well save your brcatli," said Sprout ; "ho i» one of the most disobliging follows in this city ; his name is Hog — that's enough." " Hog ! — is that Hog r" said lago. " Is that the Hog who owns one of them brick buildings in Prince Edward street ? I've lieard of him before. He's what is called a half-and-halfer ; that is, he is half far- mer and half citizen; his locality is something like his nature — mid-way between a ' clearing' and a wilderness — that's Hog, is it ? Well I ne- ver knew Hog before. If Lavater were here, I think he would form a very accurate idea of his disposition, by his physiognomy ; it is the most miserly looking countenance I ever saw." " Cook at him now !" said Sprout, " he is framing in his mind new schemes for ' raising the wind.' Why, he can make money in the dullest times, and when nobody else can ; and what is more, he knows how to keep it when he gets it. Like Jaffier, he has an ' itching palm.' I don't believe he ever gave a poor man a penny in all his life." " You may depend upon that, if we can believe all we hear," said lago. " However, never mind that now ! I will speak to him and see wiiathe is made of;" and lago forthwith marched up to Mr. Hog. " Pray sir, can you inform me why all these mercoants are standing about the corners this morning?" inquired lago of Hog. Hog looked a few seconds at lago — quite hoggish — with a kind of contemptuous air, which seemed to imply, " your question is an imper- tinent one — you're a stranger to me !" But suddenly his countenance changed, as if animated by a now thought, while a hypocritical smile became visible, and he answered : " O — yes ! — You're name's lago, I believe, (lago nodded.) These poo- pie you see about, are looking after stores to move into. Don't you want aflat ? I understand you are about going into business ; come now, I'll let you have one cheap." (" Very strange indeed," said lago, aside, to his friend, " that all this stir should be about hiring houses.") " Is that all ? (addressing Hog) Why 1 thought there w.is something n i 102 more. I don't soo why people need xchispcr so much about houses, when there are so many of them in the city." " O, it's about the rents. Tlioy don't want to let on to one another what they are going to pay imtil they are certain of their bargains ; a good deal of policy is required sometimes," said Hog, rather indifferently. " Don't mind the fellow," said Henry, aside, " he Wea faster than he walks. All he thinks of is letting his building, and getting a high rent, no matter what is going on in the city." And Heniy and lago abrubtly turned away from Hog, to look after a more credible source to obtain the wished-for information. On leaving him, they saw the strange gentleman whom they met in the bar-room of the Coffee House, coming towards them. He was coming at a'quick pace; the perspiration was running down his face in streams, and he ap- peared to be very much agitated. lago took the liberty of stopping him, to ascertain what was tlie matter. The mystery was explained, and the gentleman put his legs in motion again. lago communicated the news to Henry. Both wore astonished! Shortly aflcr, the frieftds part- ed, and went to their respective homes, to ponder over the event of the morning. CHAPTER XXIV. ! m A NEW CHAKACTER. Lady Consequence's daughter (whom we shall now introduce to the reader, in order, for the first time) had attained the age of eighteen — that bewitching age when maidens are so mischievous to young men's hearts. Mi«s Consequence was not exceedingly handsome, but she possessed all the accomplishments which education, and intercourse witii society, could give her. Like her mother, she entertained lofly ideas of gran- dour, and expected, one day or other, to become a Countess; ! nor was this I;''? 103 to the n— tliat liourls. sHod uU society, gran- MVUB tlUH to-be wondered at, for she tlxought herself cr. ' the list for promotion' — inasmuch as she was intimate with the Hon. George Allspice ; and if the intimacy should ripen into love, and end in matrimony, such a con- summation would not be improbable — the Hon. George was the son of an Earl, consequently if he married Miss Consnquence, her expectations would be realized, whenever he inherited his father's titles and estates. But this was mere speculation — the Hon. George was not yet married, nor were there any serious reasons for apprehending that such was his intention. It is true he was very assiduous in his visits at the house of the young lady — so much so, indeed, that the gossips, from whom nothing could be concealed, made the most out of the circumstance, and said ' it was soon going to be.' But there was no reason « xa Uly in tliat ; as his visits were not confined to this house only ; he was acquainted with many other young ladies beside Miss Consequence — some ofwhomr perhaps, had a prior claim to his affections, by virtue of their superior charms and beauty. In going among the ladies the Hon. George managed to keep it concealed very closely. He conducted all his amours at night. The reason may have been, that he was induced to observe that course from other motives. Perhaps he did not wish to throw himself a second time in the way of tlie witticisms of his brotlier ofliccrw ; he had not for- gott.^n the l)all, before alluded to — how he was twitted on that occasion, because he happ;'ncd to dance three or four times with one young lady. He saw how Poppinjay was getting it on uU sides, for fighting a duel in tlic cause of the fair sex. There is one thing certain, however — if the Hon. George was not ex- actly in love with Miss Consequence, that was no reason that she wat; not in love with him. No ! This scion of a noble house occupiei^l a largo space in the young lady's heart ; nor was it to be wondered at, when his rank, wealth and manly beauty, came to be considered; be- sides, in addition to these advantages, he possessed a head and heart which rendered him even more conspicuous and noble. Ho was an ad- mirer of virtue, no matter vmder what garb ; and he never thought if degrading to descend from hiH loffy i|ihcrc to iiKjuire into, and reliev? w 104 ' i! r the distresses of the unfortunate. He had only one fault in the eyes of the ladies, and that was — he was a bachelor ; and those who exclaimed the most against him on this account, had reasons for so doing, which * they did not think proper to disclose. Miss Consequence was one of the most severe of his accusers ; but she accused most in her mind, without allowing her lips to betray the secrets of her heart. She would dwell at times upon his unfortunate condition of ' single misery' with wonder- ful concern ; and, no doubt, would have been very willing, at any moment, to have assisted him out of his dilemma, if he would only have Slid the word. His age was thirty, while hor's was only eighteen, which was certainly a disparity in years. But the young lady thought herself quite old enough for him, whatever he might have thought of the matter. Lady Consequence — like all mothers who pretend to fashion, and wish to thrust their daughters upon the affections of gentlemen far superior to them in rank — performed her part of the play very adroitly. Whenever the Hon. George absented himself from the house for a longer period than usual, she would make up an evening party, for the express purpose of inviting him, in order to ascertain by his conduct, whether his mind was changed from her daughter to any other earthly object. Indeed a watch- ful and jealous eye was kept upon all his movements ; wherever he went, a spy — commissioned by her ladyship — was at his heels ; if he nod- ded to a lady in the street, it was noted down, and placed to his account. If ever a man then was under petticoat surveillance, it was the Hon. George Allspice, son of the Enrl of . At length the Hon. George became less attentive in paying his visits at the house of the Conspquonces ; and when he did call, a marked differ- ence was apparent in his behaviour. That familiarity which was one of the most striking features in his character, had settled down into the ceremonial forms of a stranger. At length he forsook the house altoge- tlier. There was a cause for it, and a very good one too, which siiall be cxpliiinod hereafter. In the meanwhile we will only add, before closing lliis ciiaplcr, M it Lady Consequence and her daughter, thought it ' very strange conduet indted. '5.;-'rT\'^ ^-'1.^- ■:^ CHAPTER XXV (iOSSir CIRCLE. Another Tea Party avionff the Gossip:!. Mrs. GifuNDY — It may be .so, but I can liardly 'blieve it ; yoein'!:. bc- licvin', but heariii is'nt, now-a-days. Dolly Blab — I know it ! John Smith has come to town on iiurpose to 'tend the weddin'. Why, Iias'nt 'Lize Smith been seen buyin' silka and ribbons, every day this week. Miss ToNMUE — She ought to be ashamed of licrsolf for the way she deceived young Sprout. Mrs. Mouth — I tliink her mother's not in her senses, for allowing iiei to behave as she does. Miss Tongue — Well, I always thought that the Smitlis would turn out to be no great shakes ; and 1 liave guessed purty rite, I think. Mrs. Mouth — That you have, Dolly. That Oflicer's no more going to have Eliza Smith, than he's going to have me. lie jist goes to set; her for the sake of makin' fun of her — so he does^^ Dolly — Yes ! and if slie does'nt look out, he'll make fun of her the wrong way. I've heard of oilicers gettin' among the gals afore now Mr. Grundy entered the room at this moment ; he came for the purpose of seeing his wife home — for it wasJO o'clock, I' M " Good evening ladieu," saluted Mr Giuudy, whi'h of four.'f lh«i 1» oil" to tin Stale., nfure IoM!? " ! 'fUSSF'" ^j- 106 Mrti (.iiiiMiY— Why .f'llm, Imw y'"* ^''■^■^ ' «lii'l^ t'li! inatU'r now, li)r pity s wake ' Dolly JJlaii— Why, Mr. Cruiidy ! ^ Mrs. Moinii — () my ' Miids Tu*!;!;]: — ^1 cxpcctuil to iu'ar bati lunvfi ; thr palm of my hand'a hc'cn a-oaclun all tlu' whole blessed t'venin'. It must he very evident that the ladies ifot into a Iricht before Mr. Grundy had time t.;plaiu. At length they stopped to take breath ; when Mr. Grundy proceeded. " Yes — wi^'ll have to <.i(> aoniewheres ; two^large failures took place this mornino- on the wharf, one for Jtl()(),()(l(t (O what a sight o' money I — from iVlr.s. Grundy,) and the otiier for £13,U0l» ; aiul it is said that only assets wortli '2ti. to the pound can be shown ; I pity the poor Me- fhanies — they will be the greatest sulferers. .Vlrn. Mouth — How did they fail r Miss Ulaj! — Wiiat's their names .' Mrs. GiiuNKV — What did they fail for .-■ Miss ToNiiUE— 'Tis awful '. Poor John luid to suspend his tongue to the roof of his mouth ng-ai,*!, but when the ladies stojiped a second time to take breath, he proceeded : " McTwitit and Brothers are at the head of one of the hojiscs ; and (ieivtleman ( •onse((uenee is at the head of the other; they were awful eraslies." Miss T(tN <<;r{ me )uy lionnol, it' you ]ilcasp, Mrs. Moulli ; I must bo ,a-iroin'. / The bonnot was brouirht ; all lln" Indlc? lollowod Mrs. Grundy's I'v- amplc, and called for tbcir's. Tiiis proniature motion for adjournniont, altogether prevented Mr. Grund}' settinjc the ladie:; riirhl upon the mean- inj; of a failure lint in' was subjected to the disao-reeable allernalive of fxplainins himself, in another way — viz : by l;i'infr obliged to s(>e lb,' ladies home ; and as he was sorely tormented wilh eonis, poor Grund}- did not consider tiie |>erformnnce of this duty, and at so Inte an hour, a very pleasing one. MISS s»i in. " / vill not finish thr tlrcs.^ .■nit/l I inn irrn iritli I. nil if ('unsri/nf nrt" — Vv'as an expression mad« use (d' by i'lliza, in n momc^nt of e.xcitemiMiI What her thoughts could have l)een, it is ditneull to tell ; but we nm;;t suppose that this ohservtation was jnade at random, without .nny in- 'CHf or meaning. If not, perhaps she ihouifht ot" re1;ilintion for the in- sult she had rec(>ivr(l from I-ady Cous-iMpience ; this point, then, slie gained, by relurning her Ladyship's dress, half J'lvislirt! ; so far tiien, she was rreu witli Lady (/onse(puuie(> — as she jv;-ve her to nuderstnnd that though she was lniiTd)li', she hnd feelings as (diaslc and sensitive ns any tliat belong to th<< best lady in the land. Could she have meant that she would be rrrn with her fjadyship in rank ? Nothin her a pnssport into the cir- cles of fashi(ui ; and yel, in truth, she had ever}- thing, h:id her virtues been considered. If slie w.is not riidi in j'old, she \v:is endowed with the rielic;-: of nature ; — she hail trciisures in licr hc;irt. in liei mind, which were dispensed in iill Iht ;n'ti' Huperlieial world could not ap]ire Slio knew no officer thou — no hall liad taken place — no opportunity had been afforded her to dis- play her charms. It is true, slic had some reason to I)uild her hopes up- on, in her genealogical descent, wliich was not inferior to Lady Con- sequence's ; her ladyship became exalted througli her husband ; had she never been married, it was very probable she would never have emerg- ed from obscurity. THE DUEL UISCUSSEl). " 'Lize, wiial do you think ?" said little Mary, running into the room in great haste ; " great news to tell you ; there's been a duel ; your beau and Sprout have been fighting about ?/o?<." " My stars !" said the elder Miss Smith. " Go away with your nonsense," said the mother. " Who told you so.'" inquired Eliza. " O — somebody ;" said Mary, looking quite archly, as if she had a beau of her own, who gave her the information. " Sprout got wounded in the heel too." " And — and — how — " said Eliza, in almost breathless agitation ; "did the other come off r" " He got wounded too, but not so badly," said Mary. And Eliza, involuntarily clasping her hands together, and raising her eyes to heaven, breathed a silent prayer that it was no worse. " Well, Eliza," said Mrs. Smith, " this is pretty news to go abroad ; is it possible that one of my daughters has been the cause of a duel, and creating so much excitement .•"' and she melted into tearo. Now, a mother's tears are melancholy indeed to behold ; they touch • very fibre of the heart, liowcv^r hardened ; and if the Miss Smiths be- came ntrected at their mother's grief, and likewise wej)t, it if not to be wondered at " Twas all Sprout's fault, motiier," said Mary, *' he sent the chal- h^nge, and it's a great pity he did'nt get killed." " I always thought he wnn im\y about half rigiit,'' said the elder Miss SSniitli " 1 iiopc hell never show liis good for nothing nose here again." .n^l »¥. . lOlt •V;.- icer then ?r to dia- lopos up- ^ idy Con- ; had slie re cmcrg- tho room icl ; your lie Iiad a wounded DU ; " did aisinff her " Indeed and lie doea'nt if I can holp it, I know, I'll show him llie door very quick if ho coincs," said Mary. " You've nothing to do with it, Miss," said Eliza; " lot that bo for mother to manage." " For my part," said Mrs. Smitli, " I wish all the young men would stay away from the house, they cause me so much anxiety ; it is so hard to tell what they mean." " Not all, I hope, mother ?" said Mary. "Yes— aZZ.'" " If your mother had been so particular, you would not be a mother now," said Miss Smith. " WInj don't the vicn propose " is all that troubles mother," said Mary. " I'd think a young man \ery forward if he asked me " "To hold your tongue !" interrupted Eliza. " No — that's not what I was going to sdy ; you know just as well as I do." Mary, we presume, intended to say, ' if a young man popped the question to her before being twelve months acquainted, she would con- sider h\m forward.' At all events, we'll leave this point to the reader's imagination, and the Miss Smiths to their conversation, while wc hasten on to anotjicr part of our subject. ) abrf)ad ; duel, and ley touch imiths be- not to be the chal- Ider MisH re Mgnin " CHAPTER XXVI THE MYSTERY KXPL.tlNED. As we said in a previous chapter, the city appeared full of excitement when Henry and Ingo arrived in town, after the duel. Mr. Grundy, at tlie (lossijis' lea party, partly ex|)lained the cause of it ; and no doubt would have finished had he not been surrounded by so many bedleinitcS| who were continually interrupting iiini with their unmeaning talk. It 1 110 '11 will l»c rcmpnil)(,'rc(l, lie Upoke of ;i riiiuor Ijcin;!' in circulation of Gon- UiMuau Consoquencc, and olherH, having failed in Imsinons, and tlmtthoir lialiittlics were far greater tlian tiicir assets. Tliis rnnior, aias I was but .. too well grounded. Gentleman Consequence actually had failetl, and also several other leading characters, which threatened the ruination and misery of thousands of hoi.est and industrious persons. His ex- travagance and over-si)eculation, were the causes of his downfall. Ho had plenty of credit, but scarcely any resources to work ui>on ; and he took advantage of the indulgence that was eliown him, and launchetl into tluf most intolleral)l(^ excesses, as if a day of settlement was never to arrive. No wonder then that this gentleman fared sumptuously every day ; no wonder that he could /ci!c the Hon. George Allspice, and the officers ol' th(> garrison, so liberally ; no wonder that his wife coulJ shine in the dazzling firmament in which she moved, amidst a world of fashion, when it was at other people's expcnce ; at the cxpence of those whom they considered far inferior to them. Nor was Gentle^nan Consequence th» oily prodigal .who fell from his high estate, through extravagance ; there were others to keep him company, and fall likewis(\ Alas ! this city is not the only one that has frightened the commercial world from its pro- ])riety, by means of <>xtravagant and reckless speculator.-*. Hut if it lie not tiie only one, it is not much better than the worst. Wiien a mercantile house is syspccted, it is a delicate thing to pro- claim it about, unless the susjjicion be well predicated ; for it is aj)t to lead to mischief. It was in respect to tiiis principle that induced Quilps to whisper into the gentleman's ear, at tlie Coflee House. He did not wisii Henry and lago to become accpiainted, through liini, with tiu ru- mor which had just been put in circulation, that Gentleman Consequence had failed. Quilps being intim ite with the gentleman, felt that lie might with safety acquaint liiiii with tJie news, as In received it. The gentle- man, as will be remembered, on hearing liii' tinwelconie tidings, became greatly excited, and left llu- bar-room in ii hurry. 'I'he causc^ of it is thi.s. lie had been an endorser for (ienllcman Consctiuenee to a iargi' iimouul, and the fill vl' onv wnuid neressirily include the fall of the 'T>W3i^'^' - \: HI ii^ Oi' tll(! other, lie riiu into tlio »tn'ot in ordor to ascortiiin the particuliirs ; he was soon relieved of his anxiety ; a luiid-hcartcd friend made hlni ac- quainted with the reality — and he was ii ruined man. It was an awful time ! At the corners of the different streets and thoroughfares, as we hcfore said, might be seen small groupis of men, wlioso faces were pale witii fear ; in their countenances might be dis- covered the traces of inward agittition ; u moral tempest seemed gatiierg ing around. Amongst tliem were men wiiose commercial reputation liad liithorto ranked very high ; and otiiers again, wiiom recklessness and misfortune had already reduced to a deplorable condition. Honest men looked upon these groups with horror, for no one knew in the ge- neral state of the city, whether a few moments longer migiit not inform him that he was a ruined man. The distress was indeed great, and only exceeded by the anxiety, that the worst was not yet known. Small tradesmen began to perceive how they had been duped by the great com- mercial gamblers, and many were the ctirses, low and deep, muttered against them. Such was the pestiferous atmosphere by which the citi- zens were surrounded, that it was the opinion of some that nothing short of a general amnesty and relin(iuislmient of prior claims, could renew tlie confidence essential to a system of credit ! On the site where there had recently been a large fire, were congre- gated tlirec individuals, who were deeply engaged in conversation ; they were Bankrupts. Large piles of rubbish were lying strewn in every di- rection, with here and there a higli broken wall, as if in relief of the ge- neral ruin. Lower down, and lying at eacli side of the wharves, were a number of small craft, and wood boats, whoso sluggish sails were flap- I)ing in the breeze ; the mournful sound of wiiich assisted to convey to the mind of the spectator, the dullness and despondency which reigned around. A pause of several moments ensued among the Bankrupts. At length it was broken by the first, who, after casting a wistful glance, to make sure lliat there were no observers, remarked in a low key — " This limit law is sad work. Here we will soon be penned up in thi citty like so jnuny ravens, witli no alteiiutlive Initto meet the faces of oui ■i' i creditoru iil cverjr Uirn. Wo iiiusl hoc if somcthiiiir cannot he clone. I've been tliinking tliat if " " What ?" asked the second of the trio in .a sharp (luick voice. \ The iirst speaker Jiesitatcd, apparently abashed at what he had said, for he gave a sudden twitch of his body and looked steadily in the faces of his companions witliout speaking. " Come, come — what is it ? We're all in the same ship now, and its sink or swim, one and all; we're in want of consolation, out with it," said the the third of the party. Encouraged by these remarks, the first person resumed. " Well — I was thinking — but it was only a thought," — here he drop- ped his voice to a whisper, and looked towards the ground. ♦' I was thinking of something like a Bankrupt Imw," — the two others verc breathless — " ch%.ah ! what .'" was (juietly ejaculated. " By Jove ! you've hit the nail on the head," said the second speak- er. " A capital thing it would be if wo could only get it arranged so as not to interfere with the aasignments we've made. You see that would never do. It won't do to disgorge, or else how can we get a fresh start ? nobody '11 trust us." " That can be arranged," continued the proposer of the measure, aa- sliming a dogged air. " Something however must be done, and that speedily, for if we remain as we are, we shall eat up the little we have left for our creditors, and then what tlie d 1 will become of us, when we've neither cash nor credit." " Good again," replied the last speaker but one," and we can make a great show of distress, by advertising for sale all our furniture and horses ; people won't susjwct ; but I must off, here's a fellow coming I don't wish to Bco," and the speaker vanished round the corner. »* Who is it .'" aijked the leader of the party of the other one, " That .' Oh, its Christopher Cram ; he sold him a bill of oxchange )U3t before the last tsteamer sailed, for £2,000, and it was dishonour u A d«->— il tBoublcLiomc chap thcu I guctitf, " rcapoodcd the tirst ; '< I'll n:i ■•xchaijyt; iahonouT meet you airaia to-niji'lil al tlio C (fTco IIouso, iiml well talk Ihib iiuilur over more freely." ' So saying the next speaker vanished, allor tliu fiiKhion of liis compa- nion, and tlie third bankrupt was left standing alone. He was not, however, allowed to enjoy hin own thoughts long, for al- most ijnniediately, another small group of persons similarly situated wilii himself, made tiieir way towards him. This time the conversation was carried on in almost inaudible wiiispers ; now and then, only a harsh word might be overheard, from which it appeared that the same sub- ject occupied the attention of tlie speakers — viz : the most feasible course to be pursued to obtain a Bankrupt Bill. Some were for peti- tioning the Legislature openly, for lliut much coveted object ; but otliera who had more experience, condemned the proposition, and introduced one of another nature. These latter individuals contended that if they could only get a coiinnission appointed, directed to such connnissionera as would be favourable to their ends, it would be an easy matter to ar- range the details of a bill. Of course if a conuuission were issued, tho Commissioners would be in duty bound to collect information, and sound the opinions of the mercantile community ; and consequently, it was of vital importance, that none who were adverse to the view.s of I lie bankrupts, should be heard. Thus it was, in the city, that the eventful day of the duel passed away ; no wonder that the hours hung heavily on those whom good men shunned! The time of retribution was fast drawing nigii, and con- science, which iiad been relieved so long, began to originate the most painful reflections. Tiioso persons who had been so extremely lavish with other people's money, were glud to eaciipe from the ga/,(; of public indignation, and they collected together in little knots, isolated ami ab- horred. It was a le.s.son of wi.^dom to generations to come ! \Voui«i tliat mankind would profit by it. 14 few >l«3»^ ■.'■If- ^■:.f ■ :,',.V. ^^ M^ ■^■■' :?n?^V.v (vJlAl'TfciU XAvix SAI.K (II- ( ONhlUiDKKCK S rrilNITrilK . Geiilk'iiian CDiiHoquence't! creditors — or ratlier the inofit cnnniny oi Ihoin — now hold n ' secret meeting,' I'or tlic purpose of taking care of liis elTects, and disposing of them to the best advantage. Accordingly they advqjrtised as follows, in the newspapers : Tu Ik: sold at Public Auction., Ijij jXcmiifiu .Yogs, vii Friduij vert, Ibc 20lh iiist., at the Mansion of Gcnllciniin Coniici/urucr : A LL Jiis Household Furniture, consisting of Feather Beds, Carpels, •^*- Mahogany Tables and Chairs, a well tuned Piano, a Uaby's Cradle, and a few articles of second hand Clothing, f. ■ ootli male and female, among wiiich is a beautiful Satin Dress, I'nlt' finished, lately imported from London, and as good as new. Abo — will be sold at the same time, fifty shares of Stock in the Bank of . Also — four Horses, with Harness complete ; a Lady's Side Saddle, and a splendid Coach, calculated for four horses. Also — a large quantity of superior Wines. The above articles will be sold without reserve, for the benefit of the Creditor" of Gentleman Consequence. Shoul'' ^''riday prove unfavourable, the first fair day after, Sunday of course e.\cej)tcd. Great bargains may be expected. Tkh.ms — A\\ persons purchasing to the amount of sums under £20, will please bring the chink in their pockets. All sums over £20, th -lo months credit, with good security. It is particularly requested that all persons wiio attend tlie sale, " i', keep off the sofas and chair.s, as they have recently been putK'd oul liy an extra quantity of iiair, in order to makt; them sell well ; and thai, they will also keep their fingers out of the siccct meals, nml be temperate in taslii.g t'u- v/ines when ]nit up. No smoking a. 'o»vcd during time of sale ; the auctioneer will do all the j'vffinff himsc'''. ^t is iir-ped that no persons will attend unle.=!s they intend to buy. I , ,, pai''cularly, le requested to take this liint. To young men v^i." ^nt xid shortl ; to get married, a rare opportunity n^ t K^ iir. is iitl'Dicli'd tlifjin to fiiriiisli Ihrir lioiisos. Il't)i>'y jini' despondency that reigned witliin the house. Ever and anon a stray zephyr, like a flitting ray of encouragement, would v/anton in its ample folds, and expose the figures on the bunting to view. This Mr. Nogs took as much pride in the decoration of his 'private signal,' as any fair maiden in the selection of a fan, for its figures. The flag was of red ground, with a white margin around it. In the centre was work- ed in blue, a pair of scales, one up and the other down ; in the lower, was placed a man with a ' shocking bad coat' on ; — this figure was in- tended to represent distress, and it conveyed the idea tliat the man was once hatancad, or as long as ho regulated th>> weights himself; but when his creditors came to IxiUincc with him, the momentum was so great tJiat he sunk down by the weight of his fxlravd^ancc. In the other scale was an auctioneer — no doubt intended for Ncuman Nogs himself — with his hammer upliflod, as if in the act of knocking an article down to the last bidder. This figure was emblematic of the finale of all com- mercial gambling ; and it uiso show(.'d that there was suflicient buoyan- cv in so--.iL iuen, to rise thiough the fill of others ; it afforded an admi- rable illustration too, that although an auctioneer is always ' going — going — going,' still he seldom goes down. The scales were surrounded by a swarm of insects, apparently flying in one another's way, and was emblematic of business people generally, who, through a spirit of ri- valry, continually butt their heads against one another, until hy dint of gouging, and chiselliiur, and sulieuiing, to undersell and destroy coiuije- r V t ii • ='■7 '■? tiliuii, IJny niiu tlioms^civr-fs, imd r ventually lull inti) tin liandrf ol' tlie yjioriir, for pulb kei jjing, while their efFccts arc handed over to the auc- ti'iiier to he di.sjtoacd of. It was 1] o'clock, and a large crowd of persons were collected together at this richly furnished niunaion. It might v.-ell have been called an ' open house ;' every room in it was filled with persons, overhauling and examining the various articles to !.e oftered for s:ile. There was no lack of ladies present ; and, if they were of no service in purchasing, they certainly assisted to diversify the scene, and enliven the rooms. The auctioneer took up his position on a small five gallon keg, at the head of a set of dining tables, in the parlour. As soon as the erov.d heard that Ncuman had mounted, tliey rushed frojn every looiu in the mansion for the parlcur, and ' fell in' round the table, in ' standing order,' and as compact as if they had been screwed in from Ijchind by a winch. The ladies, who were like- wise in the crowd, w()\ild occasionally throw out n heavy sigli, as if tliey felt Ihenisi ives uncomfortably stpieezed. In a crowd there is no distinction of persons; all who unfortunately get into one, must abide tlie consequences ; the strong only stand the best chance of coming nut unruHled, while the weak can do nothing but sing out, and make wry faces. " It is an awful thing to be in a crowd," said Dolly Blab, after the Auction Sale, " as you have to get so close to the men !" On the set of dining tables were j)laced all the costi}' i)late and erock- eryware, b(>longing to the mansion. Neunian commenced with a set of beautiful china. " What'll you offer me, gentlemrn, to begin with, for tliis setnf (,"hi- na ? C'oii'.e, mul;e ne.' a bid — 'Any \.\uu.|iop, under (HiLrcn pounds ; (liree p muds ten — three pouiulsten — three |iiiuuil-i (en ; are you all done a( lli.ee pounds ten ? (Iiree pftunds ten, oure , ihvor piMMnb- Ion, twice ; lliree p' .lud;' t"n — f-ur pounds— four 117 .\ if Clii- poiindK ! ; two llMl — til of 11 ihrcf S ll'Il, Imir pounds — fdur pounds ; como gcntlomcn, I (•;iiit dtcdl on the China ; (a hiurfh ;) are you all done at four pounds fortius beautiful set of China, once — (what are j'ou laughing at tlierc r)- — are you nil done, twice — are j'ou all done for the third and hist time — it's ye months. I hope you've got the chink in your pocket, otherwise I'll have to set up tlio set again." Mr. Swig was a notorious bad paymaster ; the autioncer knew how far his means and disposition extended ; and lie felt pretty confident that if he allowed him to take it away without paying the money down, there was very little probability of his ever getting paid at all. " The next thing 1 will offer you gentleman, will be a pair of silver plated candlesticks — hold them up John — a beautiful pair they are ; they cost two pounds a piece, for your information, gentlemen — how much a piece for the candlesticks.' Ten shillings — ten shillings — fifteen shil- lings — fifteen shillings — shall I say sixteen shillings to you marin .•■ six- teen — sixteen — seventeen, from half a dozen quarters — ('look here, you over in the corner tiiero, don't be rumvng down that wine so, if you don't intend to buy it.' ' We're not running it down,' from several voices, ' we liav'nt said a word about it.' ' You are lunninir it down your throats, you bibliers. That wine was only put there to tastr, in case any one wants to buy some out of the cellar. Take it away out of that Caleb, or them fellows will all get drunk) — seventeen shil- lings ore only ofi'ercd me for tliese beautiful candlesticks ; arc you all done at seventeen shillings ? seventeen shillings once, twice — going — going — gone. Mrs Dash, seventeen Hhillings a-piect' for a pair of jdated candlesticks ; please h.ind over the chink to the clerk, Mrs. Dash, and you cnn take them away." After Neumnn had disposed of nil tiie iirtirK'S below, in the parlour and drawing room, he next proceeded up stairs into the bedrooms, with the whole crowd after him. lie commenced in I/>uly CoiiBequence's room, by ofterimt u beautiful chest of draweif, wiiich used to be the \. 118 111 re))Osit(iry nl lie;' ]j;H]y;.liij)'ri liiu' drcssp^. Ho next sold a iiiahoi^iuiy bedstead, huiii;' witli beautiful dauNU k eurtaiiis, luul iVingc around tlieui, also the bed. After acUiuo- every tiling in tliis room, the iuictionrer and crowd took the liberty of entering Drucilla Port's. Now Drucilla's room was porfectlj' uni([ue, considering the manner in which it was furnislied. Picture;*, cut out of newspapers and old books, were jjasted on the walls ; also several pencilling.'^, ink uded as pattcrn.s for collars, unts," said the auctioneer, "but that's lulhiii";; tlie bcU of bed.'iteads will creak .sometime.-; ; I'll v/arr;int it for its strength ; it'll never fail until I l.iiorh it duirit." Tlic words were no sooner out of his mouth, tlian down fell the bed- stead, and the auctioneer pitched lieadlong auiong the crowd, doing more mischief to others tiiau to himself; the cliildren squaileil, tlio women slirieked with terror, and tin' men stood appalled for souse moments; until it was asciM'tained that no rial damage was done, aujii!-l l)i(lder in earacjt," said ii wag, uding Mr. Nogs' own wi>rds, a.s v.enpens against him. " Nevor mind," said Mr. Nogs, getting upon liis I'ect again, and ruli- bing liiu leg, ad if ho thought himself hurt. "Illy;/,/ it t^> again, and if I /.«'»(•/, it down a second time, I l.ope it will !;e at someiiody else's r.i- Ill/ laid II I jxucr.'' lie acconlinjilT I'ut uptlio licdslcad ajfiiiii, uud it wan ».:ld wiiri- out fiii-lhcr ci'iouioii}-. " Next, geiitluinen, I liiivi^ ki ofU'r you is an excellent ^'raiAr/- Ix'd, stufiV'd with .sVrrtjp ; it is ffered me for this wonderful curiosity — five and six — five and six — (I would sell the faitlids hy the i)ound, if it wasn't for the .slroir) — five anre thrust into an old and very singular looking hat, whicli was tliought to be the fatal one formerly V.'orn by Caleb. Now, gentb men, iiere is an ( \ci ll(\it nssoriment of boots and shoes; what say you a pair r give me a bid — sa^' something, <.nly don't all speak at once ; the purclinser can eillier lake ono pair or the whole lot. One (li)ibir a |)air is only otl'ered t'or tiu>se elegant lioots, lined with red umrocco — wiiy, gentlemen, the brass heels are wortli liie money : ;,evti\ and six — seven and six — (yovi mns'nt he trying tiieni on sir, you may measure oulside as much an ynu like) — seven and six are only oll.'n d a pair for these excjeilent bools; are you all done ul sevin ami six.- once — twic(> — third and last time — (whack) — Mr. Lapstonc, Bovcn nnd six- |>ence ; fi)rk over tiie chink sir, and don't stand gupii'g." AHcr rite hoots and shoes, and several articles of clothing, were sold, i'aieb came hobbling (for he was still lame) into liio \\\o W-|!> iilll . box iiiidor Ills iinii, which ho phicot! in Mr. No;jj' hands'. This box contained t/ie half finisliod S.itin Dros.^s, wliicli was advortidod in tlie newspapers, as iiaving corns from London. Here is thrj most elegant artick^, ladies and gentlenion, tliat I have yet offered you — (taking tlie dres.* out of the box) — it was half made in London, and would hfivo been finished there, had not the owner been coming away in a liurry ; and as the fasliions in the Colonies differ somewhat from those at home, she thought it best to wait and give it the Colonial touch a.s soon as she sliould arrive. The reason of its not having been finished since her arrival, is simply this : the drcss-mahr.rs here do not understand tlioir business — so the owner says — they are forward enough in some things, but not in others. The dress of course will have to be finislied at the cxpence of the purchaser. Come ladies, now's your time — here is a beautifully plaited bosom — (he was referring to the flounces on the skirt, which he tliought was the bosom of the dress) — every plaite is worth half-a-doUar — (then turning the dress round) — it is a very convenient dress too ; you can g?t into it at cither end ; this is a decided advantage the ladies have over the gentlemen, for there is only one way of getting into n pair of pantaloons — here arc the sleeves ; — these are the sleeves I like ; tiiey'rc so ample — (they were what arc cal- led Bishop sleeves) — there is stuff enough in them to clothe a whole family, provided tiiore be not more tlian fifly in tiie family, and you ex- ercise proper economy in the transmogrification. Here is a place to stow away your love-letters, or for that matter, your lovers, if you do not wish your mamas to catch you in the act of courting. Hero is what they call u tuck ; — this I conceive to bo the most convenient appendage to a dress ; and if nolliiug else will ensure the sale of this one, and a good price, I think the tuck will ; for, if the purchaser happens to have large feet, which do not at any time sft very well on a lady, she may let out the tuck, and by so tloing, mnl;e the skirt any length siie pleases. What Bay you tlien, ladies and gentlemen, for tliis satin dress — how much is offered for it ? Come, don't keep me st..nding here all day say some- thing tobejrin with.— (Every body seemed tu shun the dress wiUi a kind 121 of BUspii;ions look ; no one appoared inelineU tj niakc an olVor. Oner lady, in particular, took hold of it, and let it drop the next iiioiiiont, on the floor, as if an electric si)ark had been c;)nveyod to her nnid she would close the door, to consult her ladj^ship, who was in the same room, and open it again the next moment, to see how things were going on.) Ten shilling.s from some one who lisps, in the next room — twelve and six — twelve and six ; that's your bid, Mr^s. Squirrel — ' open the door, o\n'u the door,' was now frightfully screamed out from the inside. Mrs. Squirrel, it seemed, had been liolding the door to prevent Drucilla's bidding againid iier. rihe released her hold, and the door was forced opi'u with a tre- meii.lous push, and '■ tu'cnly ihiUuigs' — in order tt) be in time — was the first exclamation that found vent ; and it was followed by a volley of abuse which fell upon the devoted head of the monopolizing Mrs. Squirrel. A gentleman at this moment entered the room. " Twenty siiillings arc only ofi'ered for this splendid satin dress — worlli about six pounds ; (the gentleman examined it;) twenty-five shillings — twenty-five — {twen- ty-thix) — twenty-six again from the lisper — thirty — that's your's, sir, — (to the gentleman) — thirty shillings — (forty ihiUings) — forty shilliiiga — fifty shillings — (thixty) — sixty shillings it is — seventy — going at seven- ty — are you all done at seventy .' (Drucilla had ' drawn in Jier horns;' she was not authorized by her mistr(>Rs to bid any higlii r, and the dress was finally knocked 'rouglit so much mischief The gossips likewise took up the cudgels — some of their husbantls were among the sufl'erers, and they lashed with their tongues, the; reputation of Centleman Conse- quence and his iiouse, in no unmeaning terms. The Officers banished the family from their recollection, as unwortliy of farther notice ; in- deed it was no wonder, for tlu-y always looked ujion poverty without rank, as monstrous ; and the jjoverty that succeeded e.xtravaganee aa more monstrous still. Tlie Bar Room Politicians had a new theme to dilati; upon ; and night after night, would tliey discuss upon tlie history of (.ii?nllemaii Consequence, and go into the minutice, from his rise to ma 1^4 I : tall. 'I'ik- olcctirtiib wi'ic ovor, and llicy liuil nothing oisp ut' interest (o t.ilU about. Hut wf iim.st sa}', in justice to tlu.'ui, llicy i>osscssed a rcn- sonnbl iharo of gallantry ; for in tii(?ir lamponnings, tley did not launch ♦'vrn one niisslc ajfainst tiie conduct of I^ady Consotiuonce. But not so in all quarters The gossips anatomized her ladyship, if the politicians did not ; lliey tore her reputation in tatters with merciless hands. — They charged her alone as heing one of the main causes of so much miser}' In the community ; while her husband, in their estimation, was merely viewed in the light of a ' good natured fool,' who showed hia weakness by indulging his wife in her extravagance. " Wh}' law me,'" snid Dolly Blab one day, " 1 know the man was a fool from the very beginning ; and when two fools meet they make fools of every body else — 60 they do. They're both got soft spots in iheir heads. If 1 was a man, Id tf'll them so too, to their teeth, for they are not too good now to be talked to." (iiiilps, the news conductor, was no less interested in the mat- ter ; as we said before, he was a great contributer to the press ; and Conse- quence's failure aH'orded him good latitude for the display of his poetical genius. lie wrote several efl'usions, setting forth in poetical sjdendour, the knavish propensities of mankind — how monstrous man becomes when he has friends to back him in tlie indulgence of his vicious inclinations ; and he laid the ink on with a lavish hand, when ho touched upon the folly of wives, who, regardless of their husliand'n interests, run in debt, in every fashionable store in the city, where they can get crcclit. John- ny Noakes, in a flaming editorial — as a 'leader' — was quite sentimen- tal. Hero is an extract from an article which appeared in his paper — the Aradiiin !icTatihc.r — of the 27th, headed " Ghkat Failure." " This failure ifi certainly a great one — yes, a very great one — it is the greatest one that ever happened in this city. The first intimation we liad of it, was at twelve o'clock at night — a very dark night — while sitting beside our lamp, cogitating. Mr. Qniljts was the first go. vleman who aciiuainled us with tlie important intelligence ; he came into our sanctum quite out of breath, as if half a dnzen pigs had been chasing him. On ascertaining lli'^ cause of his hurry, we were informed of the (■atastro])lie ; we looked at liim for some moments, in doniit whether to lielieve him or not. Our mind, however, was soon set at rest, for shortly aOer, Jock — the m;in out the matter, and at the same lime requested us not to say any thing aliout the faihire, as it might be the means of injuring the credit of the ( oiiunnnity in the ;ect that we shall keep this liiilure in the diuk 1 — why the Aaulian 8nd- ing dress-maker was to become tho wif(> of ; but no matter who, for the present ! Sprout, who, like many other young men whoso love only exists for a season, had long since given up Eliza — he was paying Iiis devoirs to an- other }'oung lady. As we stated before, Henry had more love for fame than for women. The eventful duel gratified his ambition; it was to form the most glowing chaj)ter in his l)iography, after his coil was shuf- fled off. His love was not that love that holds domiiiion in the heart — it was only his mind that was susceptible to its inlluence ; it was uie-e animal passion, which burns while it lasts, and expires as soon as tho object tliat enkindles, is wlthtlrawn. Such love is a bane to human happiui'S;! ; many young heartw, throui'li imagination, beat in unison alike, and the result is premature marriage — the honey moon spent, thi; charmi) of novelty goni-, and then, for the (irat time, the rirtims bn- C'lme onviueod that lliej- never loved. Sprout, alas ' wix?. one of this ^ cluiruclcr ; liis love for Eliza was iiioro imaginary than real, although li« fought for her. But that was rather the result of pride than love ; he felt that he hud a rival, and his pride forbade him retire from the field, without letting' the world know it. He had, defeated many competi- tors in love-matters, by frightening them ; and the idea of a van- quisher being vanquished, and without trial, was torture which his proud spirit could not brook, lago, liis friend, like himself, had his foibles ; but lago was a traitor, and that rendered him more execrable. Had lago been a man of principle, he would not have been rejected in his suit, a few years before. Being without principle — such as using the art of deception, and betraying, to hi.^ comrades, the secrets that dwelt between him and the one he M'ished to be his, he was at length found out, and banished as a worthless and dangerous man. This punish- ment, instead of restoring him to reason, rather aggravated his disposi- tion — for, ever after, would he use his worst art to bring about mischief, whenever he had an opportunity. It will be remembered it was him who first acquainted Henry, with the intelligence that Eliza and Poppinjay were going to be married. This, we must inform the reader, for the first time, was a fabrication . Emza was not AcqrAijfTVU with PorpiNjAY ! CHAPTER XXIX A SCENE OF DISTRESS. „ " I saw a starving mother stand. By the gates of a palace proud, With a whining boy in either hand. And an infant wailing loud ; An infant wailing loud — for dry Was the fount that wont to hush its cry, And all that starving woman said Was—" Give my cliihh-eu bread !" " Motlicr, am I to have no more bread ? I'm so hungry." " No niuro my child ; your father has no work now, and can't get money to buy bread." " O ! only just one more piece — I'm so hungry ;" and tiie child cried for more. 127 The motlier too wept lor the ilistross of her chihl ; the humble; abode of the mechanic was turned into a scene of wretchedness and miserj . Six children dwelt beneath his roof ; tlio father and mother were their only friends ; no relations had they to answer their supplications, and to jrivo them bread when they hungered for more. The father was in- dustrious and frugal, and had been rearing his family comfortably ; from the rising to the setting of the sun, would ho toil to keep his little family together, in food .and raiment, and that took all he earned. Himself and family were contented with their humble fare ; they were pious, and found happiness in that imperishable record — the Gospel — which gives consolation to believers, under all afflictions. The baubles of the world did not fascinate this family ; they were born under a humble roof, and wore sensible of their condition and place in life. Would that the world afforded many more such samples ! then, instead of wives, sons and daughters, assuming airs they do not understand, they would set themselves down quietly beneath their own ' fig trees, and gather tho fruit which nature intended for them !' This man was an artizan ; his hands were rough, and his face burnished by the rays of tho sun, to which his business continually exposed him. But if his exterior was un- couth, he had that within him which the eye could not perceive, but which the judgment might comprehend ; he had an honest mind, a hv- man heart, and passions untrammelled with conceit. Had such been the characteristic of my gentleman Consequence, and some of the other Bankrupts, the poor artizan would not have been made the victim of their extravagance ; his children would not have cried for bread; his wife would not have wrung her hands in pity and distress. The mother was trying to soothe her children, who were still crying for bread, when the artizan entered his humble abode. The night — for it was night — was wet and drevy ". the pelting storm beat against the windows, and caused them to tremble in their casements ; the lightnings flashed, nnd the tlmndcrs reverberated through the heavens in terrifRc peals. The father had been out in the midst of the storm, seeking for a friend to relieve him for a day — only one solitary day — in order that starvation might be avoided ; although, had he all to which he was en- titled by his labours, from the Bankrupts — who took care of themselves in the day of adversity — he would then have been placed in compara- tive comfort. The contrast betwe-^n the dismal scene without and within, bore a close affinity. Every gust of wind that beat the rain against the windowfs, seemed to sonnd a death-knell, and reminded the 128 humble coUor.s that tlirir days of sunshine liaci all doparlcd. The chil- dren were still crying for bre;id — ay, even more loudly than bofure ; but the father had been unsuccessful, and could not relievo them. For the first time in his life, the wretched man felt himself a pauper ; a miserable beggar ; an object of charity ; and this direful change in his domestic circle, was brought about by the dishonesty of his employers, who failed through their prodigality, who enjoyed an artificial existence in the fash- ionable world, upon the labours of the hard working and honest mechanic. Such was the conduct that marked the career of Gentleman Conse- quence. The day of reckoning arrived; he fell — not tilone, but involv- ed in the ruination hundreds, and caused a cloud to pass over many a domestic circle, like the one just described. This poor artizan had no work to turn his hands to ; nearly all the shops in the city were closed ; and many industrious persons, like him- self, might bo seen walking about the streets, with misery and stolid wretchedness depicted in their countenances. His children were sick- ening for want of nourishment ; and day after day would he supplicate on bended knees, for the interposition of Him, who is ever willing to lend an ear to the cries of the distressed. Nor were his prayers un- availing; he prayed witii a fervency of spirit — his heart was in his prayers — and they were heard. The condition of his family at length became known among the neighbours, and the hand of cliarity — from an unknown source — was extended towards him ; food and clothing for his childsen were now sent to his house ; but the recipient, in his gratitude, did not know who to thank. It was Eliza and her aisters, who were his benefactors ; tlieir means were small, but what they possessed they divided with those who were unable to provide for themselves. Nor did they confine their little charity to this one house alone ; many other families were assisted by their benevolence ; — in the language of Scrip- ture, ' they went about doing good," and never felt weary in well doing. They were the humble dress-makers ; they were unknown to the fash- ionable world, until circumstances were brought to bear upon ' Fashion- able Folly,' when their goodne.'ss, which ever finds its reward, raised their names to its legitimate standard. .Ai)V I oNsi;oif:.Nf K. One brief cli-iptiT cmceniiiig this lady, and wo aiv done with licr for- ever. Tiiiit; i^lidi'd on, and Lady Cluislmiuimici; w;i.s (luf, liasU'ning to thu shiidcs. Wf liavo nr.irkc •r ciirecr I'roni h'^r lirst riUri: iu the ra,-.iiion;il*lr world, and noticed tin; vanity which cliiuMctcrlzcd nil h( r niovouionts , we have scon her in ailluoiice, and duuliing in ahn>)st rrj^id splendour, with tinselled servants attendin!r at her bidding ; we have miuki'il lier hauteur with the ' dress-niakcr,' how she insulted her by an impertinent question, and how she was responded to by the uniireteudinjr Eliza. Wo have likewise marked her downfall, and explained tlie eau:ic of it ; we will now follow her a little farther, in order to compare her real fpiality with the dress-maker, and mark the fate which awaited theni both — one on uccouut of her vanity ; the other on ace.ount of her virtues. As soon as her ladyship was deprived of her finery, she sank in the scale of public estimation, and not a little in her own ; she was no lon- ger what she once thought horbclf — ' fit society Hn* a Duchess.' We saw when she began to rise, that she neglected her early a^■sociate3, and now that she had fallen, it was their turn to negl.ct her. Drueilla Pert — her dressing maid — had been dismissed from her service ; Lahr wan « (jual t" \ ;{ I iiiin who iloalcd upon lur. The one was a descendant <»f au illustiio\u house, and belonged to the proud nobles of England ; the other, the de- scendant of a humble but virtuous fani ly, belonging to the Tolonios, and unknown to the fashionable world. Certainly then there was a great disparity in rank. But Eliza was virtuous, and her lord was sensible of her worth ; he did not imagines that^le waM lowering hiniself by rais- ing her to his own level. The following is an outline of a conversation which occurred one evening, when the lovers — for such we must now con- sider them — were alone, wandering through the woods, near the Tower. " Dost still hesitate, fair maiden i" my happiness depends upon thine answer." " Sir, I have not tlie power, ovin if I have the will, to answer you at this time." " Not the ;;ojfrr ;■ " " I've not the power ! I'm controlled by my conscienre ; and m}' con- science forbids me utter the feelings of my heart." " Dost doubt my sincerity ?" " Our conditions " " Are equal — I have rank, and so have you; mine is the rank of birth, your's the rank of nature." " I have heard of men before who talked just as yo)i do now, to some innocent maiden, and after all deceive her; their love burmd only in their lips, while their hearts were callojis to its impulse.'' " 'Tis not the case witii mo, Eliza; I've never vowed before; and ijince you doubt me, I will never vow again, until " " You can deceive another." " You do me wrong ! recall those words, Miss Smith. No — I meant to say until I ran testify by further acts the sincerity of my heart." " Excuso iue Sir, I meant not what I said ; 'twas a random thought — I've done thee wrong. But your sisters — the lady Ann and Mary — wiiiit would they say to such a union ?" '• They'd talk, no doubt, as ladies will sometimes, about ine«piality and so on ; but tlial would only end in talk. I'm independent of sisters ; I look not to them for instruction. Believe mo, Eliva, I would not for the worM deceive thee, l^el me thcri"fore live in hope, that when we meet again, you'll lie w^ady with an answer.-" " In hojie I hojie you'll live, as all nien ought to." It was a beautiful evening when this interview id' wliich we have en- ilcavoured to eimvey a faint outline, was held ; the stars appeared tc 132 twinklt* ii! Ilioii' uihi'lai like so many walclitVil t\vof:, ;iml tlii'ow tlu'ir sii- vor li^dt MM all bflow. It \v;is a iiiniit cnnsecvaletl to lovo ; the imivor- f<.il stillnosH of nalnire ciiliniiiif tlio passions, and ]M-ompt'mir llip titVoctlons to gpullf^ oinolloiis. y\il around la}' inotioiiloss ; not a bronth stirred the leaves on the trees ; and nothing cuuld I)e heard hut the echo of the wa- ter recedinir from the sea beach, m hieli fell upon the ear like the delight- ful sensations experienced b\' the sound (>f a distant crseade. Kver and nnon, a little bird, frightened from its leafy liahitatien, as 1h(» lovers strolled on, v, duld flutler nnioniist the tr< cp, iind ciiuse ihe henils of tlio fend ones to be;it in union, with a resjioiii-ive thrill of life .nid hope I — Joyous moments I As they jiiiced slowly onwards neilhor of Iheni s]ioke ; they were apparently loo iiiucii lost in tlieir own deep meditations,- — Had the spoiler been juTsent — l!ie man \\ ho boasts of the vielints he has i!estro}ed, and the niisi-ry he has <'reat(Ml — the solemn stillness of that evening WouhJ iiave taught iiim a lesson worthy of remendjranee. Kliza in reatifv doubted not lie' siu'erity of her 1. nl, tlionjih she told liini so — ibr when a woman loves she seldom diiubts, nnb'ss with reason ; lier af- iVetifMi w.)'* ardent, and hoV I'sleem too lirndy engraved in tiic recesses ot'her iieart to think that he could be inconstant. Still ^hc was not nl- toiretber li!;piiy ; her p!(\'isinii anticipations (f the future were s\if!used with molunch'ils- -, ]ierha]>;; the impoiianci' d' an e\ent which seeuiori fast approai^hing, filled Iut mind w itli strange lhouj.'l.ts, and gave to herbeing a new existence. So inc(ins!:;teut are the acitic ns of the hnniau mind ! Bui Eliza I'ound (>i)ml'url in ibe ihought that her love was not misplaced ; ehe was satlsfud cf the adoration whieli l)eut in the bosom of her com- panion ■, and Wiien a randi'm tho\ight oi-cniiied her imagination, an to thi' futU)(', like a tlilting /epliyr, it almost immediately sank to repose. The ' fond ones' i)Rrted for the night, to meet again on the morrow, when tlif lioal answer was to be given. They met again, and their hopes- wen sel at rest, llii/, a ^'.MIr^^— the unpretending and huinblo dresfl-inaker, despised In' l,adv ( 'onsetjnence^ — ( onsented to become the wife of the nosorRAiu.i. (ri.oiioK Ai.t si'(( r., n descendant of one of the proudest Louses of England. That iV.iy month was set apart for the wedding. 'I'be news oftlf apinonthing niqitials spr« ui like wildfire tlirougii the cits-. 'I'lie vouii'.r ladief grew jeaUnis, and the oosuips more than ever Inlkatlve; a new llieni.? for conversation was alforded in all (piarterfl , d tlie.niesfl 'nble, Po;t|)injny l"'gan to inspect tor the first time, w Jio wai m ♦f. l'.V.\ i tlic instigator (..f tbc duel ; and lio was dctcrminod to be llio groomsuiJui, for having placed Iiis Ufo in jeopardy on account of the groom. Quilps was the first to apprise tlie Kditors and Publishers of the circumstance ; flic Lamp Post, nc^xl day, contained a paragraph headed 'oh dit,' inti- mating what was coming to pass, in order that the public should not be taken by smprise. The Acadian ficratrlicr doubted the truth of the ru- mour ; and it answered the I'ost in a paragrajjli headed ' AU Cas ;' and it also tried to make it appear that Mr. Crosscut was overloaded with ' 071 dils,' and ready at any moment, to let one out, us it suited his con- venience, or when lie wished to stir up excitement in tlie city. Johnny also stated that no confid(-nce ought to be put in marriiige rumours, until the marriage had actually taken place, for, to his own personal know- ledge, lie was satisfied that an agreement between lovers was sometimes very easily violated. Tiie Herald copied the ' ow dit' from the Post, and through miatakc credited it to the Nova-Scarcity ; tJiis drew out Mr. Pungent, who commissioned his Editor — the author of the Seasons — to disabuse the public mind, in his most s])ioy style, concerning the real author of the article. Sprout and lago jiut their heads together, for the j)ur[»ose of making mischief, when the day of the wedding siiould arrive ; they tiiought of many ' tricks,' and at length concludeil upon one as best united for their purpose. The nature of this trick shall be explain- ed hereafter. The old ladies, the judges' and doctors' wives, who were continually on th<» qui rire, to make good matches for their daughters, became vovy anxious to know who this Miss Smith was .'' who were her father and mother.' what kind of relatives had she.' was her father a mechanic or was he a morclKuit ? or what was he .' It was very strange llie Honourable Gi-orge Allspice should think of marrying any other than a Judge's or Doctor's daughter I It was very mysterious — rcnj. The Honourable Jerry Blowhard and wife, blew harder than they were ever known to do before, against the Honourable George ; they thought he was a maniac, and ought to i)e sent to tiie lunatic assylum to be ta- l:en care of It was, however, to be e.\i.e(!tiHl that this party would take the matter more to heart than any othe ; for it generally happens thul when persons of low origin get up in tlie world, they become the greatest bigots in existence, and endeavour lo ki'cp all down who like- wise »how any ambition for rising. Tlu' Jlon. Jerry was one of this kind. When \.ni\y ('i)nse(iuence received tho report, she was even more r.\ir|)ri.Med than at tlie audacity of Kli/a, n few months before, when ulie frlghtf»niMl her liy an emplnlic ' No I' " WuAr I" was li<>r first ex- % ■ / i:ii clamation — •■ litdl lairlifr tliiii<: lo bo marnod to tlif Iluiuiurablo Ccorgo f .Well — well — well !" Tin; ' n^lvi^l^■ deljatiiiy society' or tlu; oddity, who talked to himself in the streets, had a new subject lor discussion. He was seen next day after tlie nnnour got in circulation, lugging home a salmon, and talking to himself over the fish, very earnestly. " I'd just as soon think of marrying this salmon, if 1 wore the Honourable George, as marry that girl. Thank fortune wc Iiav'nt got sucli fools in our fami- ly, as he — present company of course always cxcei)ted — why, he'll be rtornally disu'raced in England, wlien he gets there" — said the 'deba- ting society.' Little! Mary was highly delighted, to think that her sister was about setting such a brilliant example in the family ; and she tliought if Eliza could get a nobleman, she did not sec why she would not stand as good a chance, when she got a little older. " What did T any, Eliza," said the elder Miss Smith, " about dropping your slipper, like Cinderella, at the Ball .' I knew something would come to pass, 1 had sucli strange dnjams that night." Drucilla Pert, who, by the way, married a drummer shortly after she was dismissed from her mistress's employment, lisped sonitf strange absurdities about Eliza. Among other (iiingH she said — " that Mith Thmith valh a tharthy thing; thuch a thing to marry an olliiher vvath truly Ihocking." Captain Swagger of the Guards, swaggered out sonic things in his bloated English, which no- liody could understand. One of liis remarks, however, was partly trans- lated into English, thus : " Whoy, demthe fallow — 'tis parl'aclly absard ; he ought to hove his oppilets torn from his shouldaws — to go and marry thai Plebian ! I'll sell out my commission, and go into some other regi- ment ; he hasdoigraced us all — yes I by , he has !" The other oflicers \>f ' Uhiod Circle' did not take the matter so seriously to heart. — They did nut nan; who got married, so long as they could have a little amusement. Tims ran opinion through the city ; 'envy, hatred, and malice,' seem- ed to pri'dominate among the 'small fry,' against the ' dress-muker,' on account of In r good luck, lint JOli/.a had friends as well as cin'mias ; the good and virtuous, and moral thinking part of the c Mnnuuiity, i^poke in praise of her, and srcnieil to fcil hajjpy that ,so virt lous a maiden was to meet with the reward that was in waiting for her. The (l:iy be- fore the wt'dding, presents and letters of eongratulalion were sent to her from all cpvirtors, which ' she was most gruelou.-^ly pleased to accept I' She was now the piima-donna of the City ; her name was in every body's moulh ; slii* afi'ornl.H of the note : — " A friend sends hiscouiplinienls to Miss Smith, and liopes nbe will accept the accompanying package, consisting of a half-fidshcd Satfk Dress, as a marriage present, to wear at her wedding." This parcel was thrown into the hall of Eliza's house on tlie night preceding her bridal day. It was sent in order to tantalize her, and to remind her at the same time, that she was once Lady Con- sequence's drcBS-niaker. It was Sprout and lago — who, as we before stated, had put their heads together to make mischief — that were the friends in this matter. It will be remembered that a ^cMr heart — which wore those of love — in repeatedly carroling forth " the Banks oF the nine Moselle." Allspice conducted his courtship secretly, as we before noticed ; and it was lago who led Henry and others to believe that it was I'oppinjay who was the lover. In apprising Henry of liie circumstance, it will l)e remembered, he said, " Eliza Smith's going to be married to an officer; I think they call him — if 1 am not mistaken — roppinjay — Lieut. Popi)injny." He ifas mistaken, and the reader d(v reived, if lie formiMJ a hasty eoncluMion When l'o[ipiniay received tlit fliallurtge, it will l)c inmembend, he was rjuite surprised, l<>r he snid t" :f: -■vT. \ 13G the Honourable George, who helped, him to decipher the nolo, " Hatisfaction ! why the fallow ! who the devil is lie ? Satisfaction for what ? — (Allspice chuckled) — dem me, but the fallow's cracked." He accepted the challenge, more through amusement than any thing else, as the tenor of his answer led us to suppose — for part of it ran thus : " As game is rather scarce, in this Province, Lieut. Poppinjay has not the least objection to take a shot at the first bird that comes along." Besides, they deputed a private soldier to act as a mock parson, and Caleb to carry a coffin, in order to strike terror into the civilian, on the duel ground. On leaving the ground it will be remembered, that Pop- pinjay was still involved in mystery, concerning the cause of the duel. " Dem mo" said he, if T know yet what I faught the fallow for — it appears, however, there was a geyrl in the way." " O — you'll find that out after awhile — you was'nt challenged for no- thiiig, depend upon't" — said Allspice, and ho looked very cunning. Poppinjay did find it out, but not until it was explained to him by All- spice, on the day preceding the wedding. The Honourable George, we have seen, was very attentive at the house of the Consequences ; but we are not aware that he w^s more so than any of his brother oflUccrs. It was more the rlicer than the daughter, that took him there. " At length he became less attentive in paying his visits, and finely forsook the house altogether. There was a cause for it, and a very goo