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TO ™. „,»,,„ ,, '■■OR Tin; ,.-,KST ; TIME i BY HIS NEPHEW. Charles de Bonn EHUMEUR. TORONTO : iSSo. ■ »»*«»" '- . T.^ TO |. J. ®. KOND COMPANION OF THE AUTHOR'S BOYHOOD, ATTACHED FRIEND OF HIS RIl'ER YEARS, STAUNCH SUPrbRT OF HIS DECLINING DAYS, WHEN THE HARSH COLD WORLD AND ITS VEXING CARES HAD BROUGHT IIIM INTO THE SERE AND YELLOW LEAF AT THE VERY TIME WHEN HE HAD EVERY REASONABLE OBJECTION TO CHANGE HIS COLOR IN THAT FASHION, THE FOLLOWING PAGES ARE AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED AT THE REQUEST OF THE DECEASED AND GIFTED FATHER, BY HIS NEPHEW, CHARLES DE BONNEHUMEUR. i m t* ^ 1 J 1: III 1 •1 ! i 1 AUTHOB'S PJJEFAOE. it is a rare thin^ to fin*] .. 1.^1 • , * In tl,i» connoction u i^'f ""'""" '^ P'^f^tory nomcnt, that verv ft.«, ," '=°"'P'"at'veIy littlo ^-^ is stiU th amo oCt- ""' ""'"-' "^^ -^^ „.»»^->y part, r have onlv o„ ' ?''^ °^P'^- ta place. Certain faltWi^ ''""'"■'^ *» ""ke in l'«d humour of one o, two ' "^""P""" "' "'- '3-pocritical and eke 7 ."'f Z.^^^". Ah! what 2 *'•>'« daily hearandt > ^°'''' " '■"■ I" so- r:] or the yo'ng ;|;:f; ^"•>"'' W-h to the Mbodyeares. Societv nl "'' y^'' ««' wot "-■ ^-O "- sound 1?,^^:^"?°" .'^ '■"'■P "f P'-^- J 'fUliabookshouM ^"' P'^'^'on- i# # mmm iW ■I f/>* IV PREFACK. weep may bo lightened with a passing gleam of joy ; that some of the hearts v/hicli ache " for the dark house and the long sleep," may throb in a more hope- ful spirit. For the rest, I have read somewhere in godly books, that the opinion of the world should ho nothing to me. And it is nothing. Theodore Nkmo. rine Grove, Sept. loth, i86- jleam of joy ; ' for th(; (lark 1 a more hope- somewlierc in •rid should bo )ORE NkMO. Posthumous Papers —OF THE— REV, THEODORE NEMO. ™d^ personal r.n>^^ :T'^"I''' -"t-'ung extraordinary ,„erit and 1 •' """''' P"'^^^^"'' «"* »«', without lavin.. hi,n,»lT ? " "^'^ ■"> «o«' ''""■° ^'^ '' <"■ »'«> so marked 1Tb tin . '"" ^-^"^ ""'* ''"ve. f«-our English literHf„rlu " '""""'^' '^■'toblished i'"'-Co»„„LX:fttterf"^ "■'•""^•'-' ''■^ areadful, the incaJculablo misfortune / ' i ^ I ^ f 1 11 1 , 'i III S"Tr»-?i 6 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF which has fallen like a pall upon the literary worlds by the untimely death of this brilliant child of genius. A combination and a form indeed Where every god did seem to set his seal, To give the world assurance of a man. If nothing else were calculated to furnish proof of the rare literary accomplishments with which the Reverend Theodore Nemo had been eminently gifted, the following papers that are now presented to the world for the first time, would of themselves be amply sufficient to " eml)ahii his memory in the innermost shrine of our hearts," and bring down his name to posterity crowned with the laurels of a glorious and imperishable fame, * Doubtless, some miserable spirits will be found who will go so far as to question the veracity of the state- ment of Mr. Bonnehuraeur regarding the high intel- lectual attainments of his venerable uncle ; who will cany their eftVontery to so appalling an extent as to unblushingly assert that the personality of the Eev- erend Theodore can be traced to no more tangible source than to the wild vagaries of a disorded mind, that, in short, his Reverence is a myth, and that JSkm is but another name for Nobody ! ! Strong in the conscious rectitude of our character, strong in the conviction that we possess the undivided confidence of the public, strong in the sweet (I had almost said the filial) love we bear the slandered dead, we deem it quite superfluous to waste one word upon these j miserable beings — these animated boils upon the dis- eased fi ish the will noi at least and by " vex no subject ( y^orld, h well kno grateful necessary ble atten these, cui not) bite. deserve tc most sove them by, i ^y hoping that they : miserable J damned th land, who ft is the 'iiiman ken, premature d ^ «arily entail \M IP mV Ml; ! ■i J III > I d i ■ f ' ./^.. THE REV. THEODORE NEMO "il not .pare the reprtil If H. 'V"^''" '^ ^^^ at least the hallowedVen'o" of h "''^•,"' "^P^' "•"•i by their foul ^n I -^ ''™'"^'' '"^Parted, "m /ot hi/ghos .r;i "»«'-«'n'abIe imputatio™ ™ld, his labors in the ™>H """S' ''"^'■"■^ «>^ well known to^ hll I ^ " '""'"^ ''"'™ been too .-efui a:dis^,rre::rtot r-^^-^^ °^ necessary npon our n»rt *° T ' ° '^''"'^'''' '' »' a" Heat Jtio' to th snirfit oT^f -^ ^""'"^^* P-- tkese. cnrs that bark but dfro'Tt "■*'"' ™" ^ not) bite. We shall hi??,, ^ "*"'' ""'y <=»"- faervo to be treatt ,1.^"" "'""''""''■•^ "« 'hey f ™P'"S at the same t me in sll r>i,,; i- '7™"t- *at they may not i„ brouX to n^ " ''^^"^^' "feemble fate to which the 'V Pf '"'Pate in the ''='' «>« -"yentaileirjltfetrld""""' '"■"'' ''''^ -^ j!'*»i?t5| !iiea CmC ' 'Ji-. ". fiiiii I ' :5iJS!iJteiMi4Bia-., 8 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF Oh, had he lived ! — In our school books we say Of those who hejd their heads above the crowd, They flourished then or then. But life in him Could scarce be said to flourish ; only touched On such a time as goes before the leaf, When all the woods stand in a mist of green, And nothing perfect. Alas ! how truly do these touching words of our mag- nificent laureate poet apply to the dear venerated shade of the departed Nemo. His genius, though a lovely, was indeed an undeveloped flower, a beauteous blossom, withered in the bud. By nature bashful and retiring, shunning the admiration and applause of men with an instinctive dread, debarred by a most unfor- tunate concurrence of circumstances over which he had no personal contrdl, from all interchange of thought and feeling with kindred spirits, living or rather vego- tating like some huge zoophyte in a small and seques- tered country village, where the " glorious feast of reason and flow of soul " so dear to an exalted, and withal a loving and social spirit, was a banquet of which it had rarely been his happy fortune to parti- cipate : he blossomed, bloomed, and withered like a desert flower, unprized, unloved, unnoticed, and un- known. Remote, unfriended, melancholy, slow, His life was death, great, hapless, lost Nemo. " Let my ashes repose amongst those good anJ faithful people, whom in life I loved so dearly ; bear my heart to Ireland, sweet land of my early hopes and of my best affections ; my soul in the Christian's hope and love, I humbly leave with God." These were his last words — these were the articles of a \L:. ire say irowd, him ched een, •ds of our raag- lear venerated nius, though a ^er, a beauteous ure bashful and ,pplause of men a most unfor- [)ver which he mge of thought or rather vegii- lall and seques- iorious feast of n exalted, and 1 a banquet of rfcune to parti- rithered like a oticed, and un- Nemo. lose good and 10 dearly; bear :iy early hopes the Christian's L God." These le articles of a THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. legacy, the most valuabJ- that ever man bpn„n .u a one which the trea^u.. - .ealth of « T^ j^'^.^^^^^^^^, 7, , , "*""' .eaitn ot a hundred worlds; co«W not p„,.ehase. The u„u,„al solemnity tha oharacten^ed lus uneral obsequies, and the imaet' «cou^e of people of all ranks and creeds th» «red in sorrow around his early crave hnv„ It . testimony to the unqualified J^Ci^.f^T .. whic the Keverend Theodore N;::C-been he d (.« dea , God help us !) by all classes of the com^f ;f, l^'^'l "-^ "-iy h-» the poet said. His rauti" M but melancholy words ri«B „„ i s ''^*''"- .st«tli„gclear„ess,Ulik a aufknet^triT "'m" a chilling coldness on our hearts ' ' ^'"' Full many a gem of purest ray serene Jul tnV a fto'°"^' r ^^ °' -"" ''^^-•. A-=L^-\-Tnrs^^^^^^^^^ In the midst of our great affliction; however it is an unspeakable consolation to know .Z 7 1 \ though the ashes of TT.fi at T ^ ^^^^' ^^^^ tal power liVr ! . P'"''"'*^ ^^^" ^^^^«r. I «r her, Jl v ■■' '''"'°'^ S'"'"^ fl™g^ "o^d |*^-f the great spiltt^irhtiraZy^-'"'^ Jl 1 S ISli 9 ^^H^ if III If III |: ll lO THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF H ' 3sro. 1. How do you do, ladies ? Good morning, gentlemen. Nice weather. The extraordinary demeanour of the weather-cock perched upon my barn roof, — that vain (vane) creature who, in gross violation of the Ecclesi- astical law, invariably indulges, with a pertinacity of purpose worthy of a better cause, in the dangerous aud immoral amusement of a round dance, whenever it hap- pens to be three sheets in the wind, strongly leads me to the belief that the elements are about to favour the children of men with a tune on the big drum. Mais dam, que voulez-vous ? Vous parlez franqais ? Old ! Ah, hon ! Vous me oomprenez done. I am sure it will be a source of sincere gratification for my lady readers to be informed, that the individual who has taken it on himself to chaperon them through the literary quagmire upon which the dear creatures, with a courage far beyond th.eir sex, and with a fixity of purpose quite in keeping with their sex are now about to enter, is young, amiable, generous, and brave> In fact, a nice fellow, a duck : — so interesting, Kate, my love ! The flower's of six-and-twenty summers have not as yet blossomed, bloomed, and died, since that most interesting period of my existence when I was first ushered in upon the boards of thac great thea- tre callti poor dej large cii tions, bu and stri expressi( gated ail very we^ to the mj tal to the give it a of the m your dea kick, mor than in th est wisea baby, the world, kic its poor ai dating fea off the sta< the wings oesimi noi infan(du7 of this verj and palpal cause the g before bab;) and danger mDf T « m 1 ^11 1 f , . 1 i i i 1 J ! i Cm k.l t'j THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. II tre called the world, to tho inexpreasible relief of my poor dear mother, and the uncontrolled deli<,ht of a toge circle of interesting and interested blotd rela- tom, but, as far as could be judged from the forcm ml Btnkmg manner in which I thought fit to oK-e expression to my feelings at the time, to my unmiti- i-ated and unspeakable dissatisfaction. It' has been veT well and yery truly said, that the boy is father the man. I wonder whether it would be detrimen- tal to the truth of the dear old saw if we would just g™ It a back stretch, and say that the haby is father of the man. I don't believe it would. Why bless J'o»r dear souls, there is more philosophy in a baby's .ck. more wisdom in a yell from the sweet darlin.- tlian m the concentrated mental throes of all the m-i^Ct est wiseacres that ever lived. Tell me. Why does orld. kick and scream so violently that the soul of Its poor anxious mother is filled with the rjost excru- ™ ng ears that her lovely little blossom will turn L if the stage, and vanish in unutterable disgust behind ^wings Pkilo^opki hujn., glorioH sceclu unoZ fZt ■ \ r™' '" '"'' '"'*^^'' «>^' 'he solution 1 nJI,'". ''"°= *°'^ '"'P'"'*™* l"^^'!"" i« plain «d pa pable to every reflecting mind. Ah ! it is be- «« th grim phantom of the world's future rises up »d dat ^'' T''^"".'""' ^'"' "" "=' ""tendant ill! and dangers-Its fears, its trials, its disappointments. -J i*»l( 12 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF 1' il the vanity, the nothingness of all its pomps, its honors, its riches, and its joys — all its promises unfulfilleil, all its anxious longings imconsummated, and all its bright hopes withered in the bud. All these untold miseries rush in upon the infant soul. Baby's constitutional infirmities are powei'less to stem the fearful flood, and the natural result is that it gives vent to its insuffera- ble agony in kicks, and yells, and teai-s intermingled with an unnecessarily large quantity of nasal juice. I am an exile. A stranger in a strange land. Term marlque jactatus. In a physical as well as in a figur- ative point of view, it may with perfect truth be said of me that I am a poor tempest-tossed mariner— a miserable waif — apon < the troubled waters of this world, aflfording abundant and interesting matter to the winds and waves for the exciting game of battle- dore and shuttle-cock — the butt, the sport of fortune. I left my country for my country's good. I did, in- deed. Now, let there be no misunderstanding upon this head. It is an error as grave as it is common, to suppose that the expression " leaving one's country for one's country's good" is capable of but one interpreta- tion, and that a favorable one. My kind friends, excuse me. If you labour under any such impression you labour under a very grave mistake. You will doubtless acknowledge the truth of what I say, when I assure you that I left my country for my country's good, for the sole and very excellent reason that my country could manage to get no earthly good of me, Kf ! 1 Li'. ' THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. ,, and I. by a kind of inverse ratio, could manage to rret no earthly good of my country. The inevitable result w^s, that we both sought for and obtained a bill of .livorce quoad forum ct habltationem. My country was delighted. I was oveijoyed ; and so we parted with sunshine in our hearts. I am thoroucrhly per- suaded that if my country could by any possibility be reduced to tho consistency of a human form, she would when she perceived that Slow our ship her foamy track against the wind was cleavinjr Her trembling pennant looking back to that dear isle 'twas t'aving, Lave fairly kicked and screamed in the ecstatic mad- ness of her joy. If I mistake not, I have informed my kind readers t at I am young. Yes, young indeed in years, but oh, so old, so very, very old in the world's trials and sorrows. Sorrow has blanched my hair, ladies, sor- row has blanched my hair. " Alas ! the pity of it - ^or, oh ! I had such a beautiful head of hair in the happy golden long ago. Jennie of the nut brown couMn t hold a candle to it. If she did, she wouldn't do It again-that's all. Next to the darling boy that ; pranced, and screamed, and kicked beneath it my hair was the delight and pride of my poor dear mother, and for hours and hours together would she ondly feast her loving eyes upon it subsequently to the operation of' combing. -' Yes : sorrow has blanched my hair before its time, and my poor head is bent 'beneath the weight of many cares. Yet, thank heaven! ^ . THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF I am not wholly lost to every sense of joy. Groat and manifold as my afflictions are, I am happy in the pos- session of an antidote as sweet as it is powerful. In the midst of this wild waste of friendships severed, aspirations thwarted, and bright hopes withered and destroyed, sweet Memory comes like a blessed messen- ger from heaven, to bear away my soul upon its wings of love, and bathe it in the light of other and more halcyon days. Under the influence of such a potent charm, i take creat pleasure io relating the following interesting reminiscence of my boyhood, to which I would mcst respectfully invite the kind attention of the reader, ADVENTURES OF A STEAMER. Who steals my purse, steals trash ; 'tis something ; nothing. 'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has beau slave to thousands ; But he that filches from me my good name, Robs me of that which not enriches him. And makes me poor indeed . Othello, In presenting this my eldest born to the cared patronage of an indulgent public, whilst pinning «■" the back of my dear child a card with the inscriptiffl " glass, with care," I shall take the liberty of mato an observation or two in connection with the persoa character of the interesting individual who forms t '^"^3 REV. THEODORE NEMO. subject Of the subjoined poetical (?) effusion • « t '^ -1-hat without an o^planatiL of t^nat /eT' ««1 l%ht .Lyon which he becle . Z ""°'^' ^""" *''" «■•«* -act, invariably e:^17™'V7°"^'"<' ^^ !>- ^liU continues to enioTal . f'" """"''' ^"P^. I^giity. A mosti^in .""""■ "^ ""^P^achable k bright a« an l:" :ur:™S n,an ! Pu,, ^ , Ucally enjoyinfit:"; ; 45' (w^- ^^^^ '» lere the comparison closes) j,,;,??^""?"" "'^Paps; '!» foul breath of slander H.. " ''""'"<^'- ''<'«• keth hot from hel to t ,7/, r''™''' "^»' *'"»'' kthat man holds Lm'h t^rlr"^ '"'''■ *ich with an ener^v wn,! i "'f ""'^ "^ lieaven, and -e expends 1^1^ or tfhe >" '"'"^'"^ ''^"- '■*ing downsaints and Tinners n'd!""-' "''7'" ■" 'f;tunately given our hero " s,i "htt™h?''^ '^^ ■'inii on its mission nf , ''""f.'o™'' asitswept .'Hand in the Zntive ™f' °" '^^™g'' *h« 1^1^ pJa.nt.ve accents of Avon's lovely Like a worm i' the bud, l-h,mniousto:gre;U7*fp::rd,,,,„. ht.ng spechnen of the genusTo^tV/;^ „7„;' i6 'IHK I'OSIHUMOUS PAPKRS OK a certain occasion involved himself in one of tliosi^ youthful indiscretions from which unfortunately tht; great bulk of mankind are not wholly free, not even excepting those very kind and charitable gentlemen who had taken such unnecessary trouble in bearing false witness against their neighbour, was summoned before the Reverend Superintendent of the Educa- tional Establishment of which our hero happened at this time to be an inmate, to scrape from off Im character the unclean charge of intoxication which had been falsely and with malice aforethought brought to his door on the occasion. It may perhaps be necessary to observe for the bet- ter elucidation of our subject, that our interesting and deeply injured friend had, during this particular period of his existence, rejoiced for some unaccountable reason in the extraordinary sobriquet of " Steamer." Tho motive that; actuated his fellow students in appending to the name his mother had bestowed upon him at | the baptismal font this strangest and mo.st inappro- priate of epithets affords subject for deeper thought I than the limited capacity of my mind can ever hopej to fathom. For, certainly, if any unfortunate indivi- dual dreaded the watery element with a trcmbling| hydrophobic dread, that person is, most assuredly, re- presented in the interesting character who forms thel subject of this paper. I venture to assert that nonef possessed a more intimate acquaintance with the van- ous accomplishments and deticiencies, virtues and n one of thosi* brtunately tht? r free, not even able gentlemen ible in bearin? was .summoned of the Educa- ro happened at e from off his ixication which nought brought rve for the bet- interesting and )articular period countable reason Steamer." The its in appending j ed upon him 1 most inappro- deeper thought d can ever hope] 'ortunate indivi- ith a trembling! ist assuredly, re- r who forms the! assert that nonej 36 with the vari-j es, virtues i THK REV. THEODORE NEMO. Jraii-Ucks, tho cjood noinK on,i .i ■ , fri»i ti,„„ the hi; L t. „"^,;';h"' ""^ '""'"'•'"- «pe.iitio,. what.;;;; ;i>~z:'r,'''' '""""« liavins either a i)rovim»t„ '^<^'='^'''''''™8 a"'' excursion, (lie water ha M ' ■^','"'"'' "'' '•'"""''= connection with me water liail been always as obnoxl„„» t i • / •"Jfoolins.'s as the insane idea ofh, s t,t ""*"' MM the Atlantic for tl.B ^'"^ " ™ce J ..in. in a war Int^w h h s^irZi;^ ?"?• "'Tr "'■ " '"^ '»«n:h r-Vi ; .^ceamei, therefore, and whv nnf < wu i . -^ KF," or '• Potato Bu. - arrSfZlf , ."■ "'' " ^'"^« 'i«n, upon which T rt -et t" "V"''",""' «"^°- powerless to enlighten v^ Th ^ "" "'''^"''""'y h '>-Wr, i, sFleZ d whill I.e^'tin",:'^'' """' tie disquisitions of the learned ' "P'" *° - ■.™. .. I ha'vi st^ tr. .—f-^o""- |f the most finished «nrl 1 ,.^ f ^"^"^^^ to one h the delighireart-'Z: whr^al ^^'''- '"' fwate, and love the craeeM ^ ""'*■ ''P" htyofthemnses Th' • ™-'' ^""^ """^''^ Uh of its own n rit LsT' "'"' "" "'« P"- ^ >vu merits has lona- ago succeeded in ■ 1 f 1 1 1 I 1 1 1 1 i8 THK POSTHUMOUS I'AI'KRS OV jf^mmg ready admittance into every drawiu euuntry, and in securing for itself a snug and abld- iu r roosting plaw upon every piano cover in tlie Ian 1 It w ill tluTcfore be siitticient to inform the musical world that the follow in- crt'usion is adapted to th. glorious air of, " The Shan Van Voght,"— 8ew. a/iis Iv verhis,—" Tho French are on the say." I will here take ocpa.!=*ion to observe that the fatlur of the appended ))aby, and of all tlie other children with whom it may be his good or evil fortune to be subse(iuently presented, desires it to be distinctly un- derstood that he and he alone in virtue of his cai-aeity as father claims these his otispring as his own exclu- sive property, that he and he alone possesses full ml absolute control over the same, that the right of ciny, transfer, reproduction, and translation of his boioveil children is strictly and unconditionally reserved, and that, therefore, any person or persons who should i.' rash or wicked enough, " or both," to infringe upon, or interfere in any shape or form with, these his in- alienable, his paternal rights, do ipso facto expose themselves to the imminent peril of incurring the ex- treme penalty of the law. Maggie, my child ! Maggie ! " Coming, pa." Biil your mother bind your hair, my pet, and then com. along this way. I want to show these ladies and gen- 1 tlemen what a magniticent little girl you are, and how| proud your poor ould father ought to be of you. fe:-V..J iIj» P^OTPfl^ '1 j,||:!| 1 l':i ■ '' \l l.V. .1* i i/i . 4 , 1 niig roniii ill ugainl al/.ij. ' in tlif lanl 1 the musical ilptci.l to til;' -seu, aliiy IV at the fatlur tlier cliildifn ortunc to be listinctly iin- t his cai'iU'ity is own exclu- Hses full aii'l fight of C'njiv, f his beioveil reserved, anil ho should lit- nfringe ujion, , these his in- facto expose irring the «• ng, ])a." Bid nd then conif idles and gen- I are, and iiow I of you. 'HK RKv. THKODORE SHMq, ADVKNTUKEOFASTKAMER. I. «othehoati,sontho.shor.> ^ot fa,Htenod in a catch-, ' ^a^xjt put him to the scratch, •%.s tlie Shan Van Vogl,t. II. Good Ned ! how he did yell, ' Whnn •'^^^3'.s the Shan'van Voo-I.r When summoned bv the bell, t ,''"^'^y« room of state, ;^ure he thought at any rate i'mt expulsion was his fate, ^*^ays the .ShanVan Vool,t. III. Cried Bauldy, much in wrath, " I ^e«r , ' ^^^' ^^'^ ^"^^^^^ ^an Vo-ht ^ ^ear you've cooked your broth .^'^l»-eviatc( form of ' ThrT~,T, *= ' fpenorof the CoJIege "^ ^'^'°'^"^^ "^'"^ Christian name of T. '9 « 1^ ^f' f^ *!- ^'i! 1 H ; ' ! ' J . 1 / 20 ik'i THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OK Oh, bo, you dreadful fellow : If I don't make you bellow For making yourself so mellow, Says the Shan Van Voght. IV. Cried "the Steamer" in dismay, Says the Shan Van Voght, " Oh, send me not away," Says the Shan Van Voght. " '.Tis true I took a shot And for that deserve to trot. But I'll never again be caught," feays the Shan Van Voght. V. " I was just a thrifle jolly. Says the Shan Van Voght. " But I recognise my folly Says the Shan Van Voght. " I thought 'twould just be handy As I got carte hlanche from ' Sandy,'* To enjoy a social ' dandy,'t Says the Shan Van Voght. *A term of endearment (?) used by the students towards the dean ofl the Institution, who rejoiced in the classical name of Alexander, j t An abbreviated tumbler of punch, derived from the Italian, 'Di,| of or 'on,' and ' andare ' to go. A most admirable denvation foj according to the moral estimation of men an individual who raamteta too strong a predilection for the ' dandy, 'is supposed to be on thegfti li THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. VI. " I'm informed you were tight," iight: —the devil a sight! Says the Shan Van Vo^ht As we cannot have a wife ^ We must have a little life Sure that's as plain as knife, Says the Shan Van Voght. VII. " Humanum est errare " Divmum condonarer Says the Shan Van Von-ht My mamma she came to town, sir So we thought we'd sorrow drown, sir By letting something down, sir," Says the Shan Van Voght. VIII. " Then on my knees I pray, » iz- . T. ^^^^ *^^ Slian Van Voo-ht " Kmd Father I let me stay. " ' ' ^ir \i , '^^^^'^ *'^^ Shan Van Voo-lit We all have seen the days ^ ' ^ hen the tenor of our ways VVas not a theme for praise, Says the Shan Van Voght. ■ -^■i*ffr«t>,^V,y;.,.„.;i|u'M^, ,-^.m-^-..-^,.^..^-„Ht^^Jtnf- ii 22 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPP:RS OF IX. Oh, do not be so wroth, Says the Shan Van Voght. With a member of your cloth, Says the Shan Van Voght. I'll mend my ways full surely, Become a credit to your schooley, And act no more the fooley." Says the Shan Van Voght. X. " Your fault is very great," Says the Shan Van Voght, Quoth "Bauldy," with much state, Says the Shan Van Voglit. " It is your first offence — so I will not drive you hence, Joe — You ought have better sense, though. Says the Shan Van Voght. XL You've been taught a useful lesson Savs the Shan Van Voght. A lesson that's a blessin' Says the Shan Van Voght. For I tell you with much feeling— You were ne'er so near a peeling Qq I — send me in Jack Neeling, Says the Shan Van Voght. ''>Mi 11 ~ 1 'yi w ' ' 1 8 h WM 5 ■ i \ 1' 1 ' r t ■ r n \ 1 'i 1 f 9 ' J...J iL ^S OF an Van Voght. loth, an Van Vo^ht. irely, schooley, ey." lan Van Voojht. lan Van Voght, nuch state, lan Van Voght. -so ce, Joe — ense, though. lian Van Voght. ieful lesson han Van Voght, han Van Voght. ih feeling — a peeling Neeling, ;han Van Voght. THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. xn. So the boat's no more on shore, A ^ I, .„ ^^^'^ ^^^ ^^»" Van Voffht And he lUa^i^a^e once more, ' Says the Shan Van Voght. Though he took an extra shot Ihat nigh sent him on the trot : i^ut hell never again be caught. Says the Shan Van Voght 23 1 wiJl ask ray kind readers to foro-ive mp f.. u . I My gifted with'an nttly ^ L d " "' '''^' "™^^^- Kwri.,v.i • • ^"^®v Vivid imagmat on Thp ^e above «.oIanc S^t den,^™f«'' " *' Pf""^ i|H r TRf M ■ '! rp/lij IF } \lil 111 ^fe '1 tT f t 1 (MHMteMMas 24 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF poor fiufFering young man, assuredly one of the most deerjly wronged and persecuted creatures under the sunj her indignant bosom heaving with suppressed emotion at the foul and unwarrantable odium heaped upon an honored name, and 1 can hear the same dear pitying reader after finishing the poem that tells hei of the eventual and glorious triumph of the youthful martyr emerging from the furnace not only with his character free from hurt or scar, but radiant with a fresher and fairer beauty than it ever wore before, I can hear the honest, the glorious, girl exclaim in ac- cents of unmitigated rapture : "Oh, thank you, a thou- sand and a thousand times, kind, generous, merciful Bauldy ! Oh, my dear young man ! What a mac^ni- licent exemplification is here presented to us of the dear truth of that grand old proverb, * Virtue, virtue (:) is its own reward.' " «••«*■•■ THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. 25 3sro. II. GOOD-BYE, SWEET-HE.«T, G00D-3YE ! .ions which a .„.co„eoived inL^Tj:: ?/ ^TX J . «i paper may be calculated to create in the m,nd oi the gentle reader, I deem it my dutv to „K ^»JHe„„rd.oftheimmortaUardft.:lTUe:Kr: As e'er mv .^„ ^'?" ^^ J"^^ ^ "lan AS eer my conversation cop'cl withnl Nay, do not think I flatter ' U and efficient mf„i.^. :aSr wM^ .Tit As e'er m„ . ^'?" ^^ J"^^ » man w.u ,. ^ 'conversation cop'd withal. With his mother's milV I10 1.0 j • 1 -i , 'the .oo^t eminent a"dl id v^:^ ne^'and -H"'^'" f«'^m" had always entert^S run^S ;ii. .k-J^^^mSfSSI^is^i^ 26 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF respect and love for all the Reverend wearers of the cloth, from the black; even to the purple. To know and carry out with most scrupulous exactitude the ])recepts and institutions of Holy Church, he hail ever looked upon as the acme of all his earthly aspirations, the realization of his life's dream, the pride and glory of his existence. Heaven had gifted him, in addition to a warm and loving nature, with one of the most excellent mothers that ever blessed this world. The care expended by this paragon of women in imparting the wealth of Heaven to her son, had not been exer- cised in vain. Throughout the various windings of life's devious journey, most faithfully did he follow in her footsteps ; and after God, to his mother's virtuous example, and the pious earnestness with which she loved to inculcate the transcendent beauty of his God and the high honor of laboring for His exclusive glory, he is undoubtedly indebted for his attainment to the noblest profession upon earth — the sublime dignity of the priesthood. Like all men of worth and virtue, he loved with a surpassing love, the same noble qualities wherever they happened to be found, caring very little whether they adorned the character of a beggar, or imparted a more brilliant lustre to tlie j gems upon a monarch's crown. I remember wheu was a very little boy, and a short time after invi return from the land of my youngest and hcappiost years, " le charmant-pays de Fiwnce" he took mej aside, and placing his hand gently on my head, ad- THE REV, THEODORE NKMO, dressed me in these touching an.l boa„fif,.i •' VIcn eher Ph»i.1o« a ^ wautitul words : — Jicn cnei ChaUes, (?coutez-ni(,i ; et iusoTi'* 1„ « j voire vie conserrez bien ee r,„l 7 ? " *''"^'' .est.ue la vertu qr,i est vai^ it " el-er:,""'' " » I'a possede pas, q„elq„es grands 0,7 .' **"' Ulents est un vaurien et di„n5 ^ ""™' "«' »sclu mepris et d^' „drn "" T '" '""""S^^' fa." "Listen, m/dear S, '™'^ 8^""^^ within your heaton,ear, a Ti"' '",/""" "^ ''<"*nrn.et,.atirLr:;:^ttt:;:rB' Anredu-ithtalr'trof he f;i T' *°"''^ '- «»".ing but a worthies wreteh and ^, "' '"^''- '' praises, but the renroaohr. 7 ""'' "°' *'><' , He Wed goodne:'rt rlTa^ '^er '^'"'•'' Ms darling- virtue Of f l.^ . 7 " "'^^^^^^^ was !.«re,onho3::vhowodtCnvTrtth'"''^'''°'' i"to a scoiiroe of f hn=n convert their sceptre W'-^o^^z To LXVjr'^ 4-^^- '"trusted to their lceen;„„ * 1? , ^'"'''"' '''''' fcir fellow wo™ he ''' " ,'^'»1«™' "^ ^Pi'-'tual, of |i„,,fe "^^ '™'»». ho wa. always the uneonrpromis- p^ an fa/se notio°„sr,i n't 'Zdri/r^ f »-g paper nray be ir.o.i„ed to attacMo' t Ihar! ] I 28 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF ter of my illustrious and deeply lamented relative, and free his memory from undeserved reproach, for " I saw him once ; he was a goodly king * * ♦ ««♦♦•♦ He was a man, take him for all in all. We shall not look upon his like again." C. D. B. It was the festival of New Year's. New Year's ! What bright and happy visions spring up before us, as if in obedience to the stroke of an enchanter's wand at the approach of this the most delightful season of, the year. Oh, thrice blessed festival of New Year's! Blessed in the stupendous mysteiy o^ a Redeemer's love, which it reflects with such shining beauty on the world ; blessed in' the sweet contentment, peace, and love with which it floods our souls in show- ers of golden sunshine ; blessed in the glorious hopes with which it fills our hearts, infusing into them re- newed strength and courage to brave the dangers of life's darksome pathway, that stietches far away towards the promised land, and imparting to them, even in this vale of tears, a foretaste of immortal joys. This loveliest of festivals possesses a charm peculiar- ly ita own, and succeeds in bringing into play, the j best and purest features of the human heart morej strikingly and lovingly than any other festive season! of the year. For it is pre-eminently the season of love. It is, as it were, an immense mirror lying across the bosom of the world, through which the ii. PHI N f ¥1 1 ll ■''nU' 1 t ' ill ^ i III 1 1 if h 111 ii lilii into them re- THE RKV. THEODORE NKMQ 20 the fire of divine cimrifv ;„> , '" '"'^"^^ ■leheartsof Jnl^in, to '"'^ "f'^^'' ""'^ ''"i' eighty winter ortI,eI veSl" ' t "°"^ °'' tkeirslowand faltering J!" ? '™'^''' '"""'""» »l act the... pa..t „p„„ Wv, XV thttlr •'''"" H-fajoyoJa::;^;;::,::,*'^'^^^^^^^^^^^ ..tl.out exception, are fairly captivated W H ' , »ta,.„„ of ,.eave„,y peacf and' We '1-^, :;:!:' Wn ot seasons spread, upon the world ' It «s about this season of the year and . ., . '- ;f «■ the departure of his Lord'l ^ Zl t from the diocese of \Volin r.,^^ i • , , ■^^•'^«op C— , ..r«„e fifteen ^^^fyZ^T^ '""'1^ P"*^'"^" Ni..g-R«bert kind of p„ h a" ; T " th^I h"""" hionof his orDhai.orJ nL ^ ^^'^^^ por- 'e..ad had ^i^'s:!::^:^^ \^\ -''' •wed diocese, to L ,n "Sr 'I ' ""' °' "'^ "'<'- U with which shot: bl viLTo'd t /T' |i»pa,siouate but fitting terms th! i„ i , ? ^^^""^ h '^i.ioh had fallen l4:;ii?p:teru-'- d M' .f.*P«iife-, 30 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OK The Reverend Father G — , the present <>enial aud much beloved Dean of the neigliboviii;;' Uiocesti of Yaha, had had the distinjruished honor of hein;,' unanimously voted to tlu? ehair, on the occasion. This hi'di favor was considerably heightened when, iu virtue of the rare musical abilities with which the Reverend gentlemen had been eminently gifted, he was, in the course of the evening, unanimously called upon to sing the subjoined ode, specially composed for the occasion. This honour, the very Reverend oeii- tlemau, after a few strong manifestations of repug- nance upon his part, which served to bring out his charming humility in very favorable contrast with his high musical attainments, at length graciously accepted amid deafening thunders of applause. Father G — , loquitur : I would ask you, gentlemen, to charge your gksses. Charge them all, I charge you all. Thank you. I will not intensify the sorrow — the unspeakable an- ''uish that tiUs your hearts, gentlemen, on this most melancholy occasion, by uselessly entering into a development of the motives—the high, the virtuous, the patriotic motives, in pursuance of which we are assembled here this night. (Applause). We are called upon, gentlemen, to perform a very sad, but a very pious duty. We are invited to celebrate, in the name of this sorrow-stricken diocese, an event that marks a most melancholy epoch in the history of our ■K II KB ' '' li ^ 1 iP 1.1 f\ T 1 ' ..i 1 i LJJ R,^*»ii-J« ■'"' "^^^^ THEODOK, NKMo. Jives. I will g-o so far a. f "^' the present occanion i.s of\u ^T''^' f "^'^''"en. that '- be. never presented to st;r ^' "'^'^'^^ ^^^^ '■'""'■""■». to |,i-oduee your „„,.l.„, u 7, '' ^""■ .f«"-»-eetio„ to the In ,rof I f tT' "''""-' ».o. and pour a solemn «ndcopio„m,r "'"' '"^' ?»ve of him that is „„„e afT f " "''"" "^o lave .oM.uch reason to'deniol. "'T' ''™tl> «'9 ^tailing not alone « "„ h • ," ''"''''" "''"''"itv, Im the country at l: ' , 1" i:" ^T' ?■«-■ l-"' ««c«, which years and war llf ■""".""■^ '•■""■^«- ** to obliterate. HoCver „ T' "'"""* P"*" Nhout its antidote, so there is' „„ ' '" "" '«" p l»ing relief-and hence Ttk Z 7'"'^ "'*' "^"^ h the midst of our dee,! ! >' !"'"'""«". ">«* even Wd master, we L, .pt t ' '"" ^™^ ^<"- °- [Wy pleasure in notin.dotnauTT""'? " "'^'*''- f-eof „„ „„,, sal1ent™inf i :""=t '^-"'""S »'"g«i.ie, philosopher and fend • „> "'"'™'=''''- '"" H...ely loss we lave too m, . ' "'''°'"' ■""'««« and K""^i"fluenceotthes . • "^" *» deplora |»y powerful trait in the d?s '^l '""""^'^''^tion a l-t, which «t:u:kteXrc:^r'""*'™^ hions, and which most Z T ^ '''' '^^^^^'aJ p-H.ener.ou.ssys::^^— Vere^trt I Tj ^ w 32 THK POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF the reverend ami diHtinguished guests whom I have the pleasure and honor to address this evening. Listen ! Pat a Newfoundlander «jn the back, gentlemen, and the probabilities are that he will lawn upon you. Give him a crooked wink, a!\d he will ])ounce upon you. It strikes me that in this speciKc peculiarity on the part of that noble breed of dogs, we are led to form a very just comparison between a certain well-known feature in the character of Monseigneur, and that coloured but sagacious specimen of the canine race, Pat Monseigneur on the back, and he will fawn upon you. But give him a crooked wink, and be herns, he will pounce upon you. Dear venerated shade of iron- handed despotism, farewell ! Poor ghost of thwarted tyranny, good-bye ! You left your country for your country's good. (Cheers and laughter.) Accept the unfeigned gratitude of sixty-five afHicted hearts, for thus manifesting in 30 noble, so magnificent a manner, this last and best, this crowning action of your life. Gentlemen, this therefore, is a night of mourning and of tears. Sorrow is our guest. Let us then be hospi- table, and give the poor devil a horn. (Tremendous cheering.) Charge your glasses, therefore, gentlemen, charge Uiem all, I charge you all. We shall drink to the memory of the dear departed— never loved wore dearly than now when he is far away, and there is every brilliant promise of his never coming bi ' again, and pour the libation as you swell the chorui For the benefit of those of my brother Celts who maf fi'p :' JLJ N 11 i S OF 'Hts whom I havi' H evening. Listen ! Ic, gentlenioii, am! [ fawn uj)on you will ])ouncti upon citic peculiarity on , we ai'o led to form ertain well-known [;i»j;neur, and that if the canine raci. he will fawn uj,oii :, and be herns, Iw •ated nhade of iron- ghost of thwarted • country for your liter.) Accept the ifHicted hearts, for gniticent a manner, I ,ction of your life, ,t of mourning and j }t us then be hospi- orn. (Tremendous I lerefore, gentlemen, We shall drink toj -never loved morel iway, and there isj lever coming backj 1 swell the chorus.! iher Celts who majj be unacqnai'nfced with tu^ . '^^ «»abl,. to ap,„.oeiat„ itt ^.ll u " ";;'-' ^"'•■"'"'o He F««™yod i„ the 80 ,r T '" ''"■'"■"Sly ;;..il. at it, c„„eU.s.-o,:"4l 2 liWefoT' '" "'''' ' tenci. twist, as far a^ ,„v iiml u ^ f ^"""S " a "* and boautif,., ,« ^uiT Lf'T'^-'S'' "^ "-t plau.se.) '^ ^^ '^"*^" a"ow ma. (Ap. "DE ON THE DEPARTURE OF BLSHOP C— . 1. (^ome, let u.s sing of b ] EnahnnM deep in hi. uHection - The Lord preserve us all thi., day From Newfoundlander's predifectiou. Chorus. '^';^'n Jet us toast this C b j Tho' tongues unfriendly him shon hi i ^ How weJ] ive love him n blander; '"^^ ^"ni» none can teJl,— si « Su •e absence makes the lieart grow fonder. P^'lf! Hif' : i^ 1 ^^1 1 ^ i il 1 Uc Ul 1 mm 34 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OK Oh, blest for ever be that day The happiest day of my existence^ When he sailed to the Olive Land away, Resolved henceforth to keep his distance. Oh, never was my soul so bright, My heart ne'er beat to such sweet measure, As when that steamer hove in sight That bore away 'My Lord' for ever. Then let us toast our bonny-Bell, Tho' tongues unfriendly him should slander ; How well we love him, none can tell,^ Sure absence maHes the heart grow fonder. 3. Oh, ne'er did r »rn's blessed beam Fill high my heart with so much rapture, When, waking from some fearful dream. That held my trembling soul in capture. As when upon that glorious day — The fairest of my whole existence — Monseigneur sailed for France away, Resolved henceforth to keep his distance. Then let us toast this Lord full well, Tiio' tongues unfriendly him should slander ; How well we love him, none can tell, — Sure absence makes the heart grow fonder. f^^ H Hip m "' i. 1 i 1 *l r 1 " f . mm 1 t u OK away, distance. 3t measure, it iver. )uld slander ; ell,— ;ow fonder. li rapture, iroam, capture, ce — distance. 3ll, )uld slander ; ,ell,— row fonder. THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. 4. Come, let us sino' of C b J The bic. black dog. the Newfoundlander- father James, 'ti« you can tell Droll tales about tliis FrP.inl, w; i i t He held Ilk I..- 1 -t>«'»cli Hio-hlauder. E.^shnnkl deep in his affection,! Ihe Lord p.-eserve us all this day From Newfoundlander's predilection Then let us toast Lord H— Lb _] His like cannot on earth be found,' boys- tome, fill your bumpers, fill them wdl ^ H>i., Inp, hurrah • with hands all round, boys. '^fl^^'^^E COMPOSITE A LOCCA NEUR C . '"'"""'"'^'^ ^^ "'^ -^ ''^ ^-^^- (i^anse Irlandaise). 1. Cliantons to us de C b__ i DeC b— 11 . r... . ' —^^ ^^ ^"'os noir chien ; ^^^bon pere Jacques pent dire de belles His on^es touchant ce " m>y.eUe-te.ralnr ^n dit,qudavaitun vif amour i^our ses prc^^tres d' Irlande en'particulier Q- JebonCiel nous garde toujoi::"'^ l)-^amourquinevautpasmesvieux.souliers. 35 '\m\\ I' i: 36 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OK Refrain, Buvons pourtant a Monseigneur, Qu' iniporte que I'a sali la medisance ; Nous raiinous certes (I) de tres bon ca3ur, — L'ainour, bien sur, saugmente par I'absence- 8 15 w m Beni a jamais soit ce jour — Le plus beau jour de toute ma vie, Quaiid Monseigneur est parti pour, La terre des vignes, sa France cherie. Oh, je n etais jamais si heureux, Mon cceur tut ravl sans mesure, Que lorsqu'a travers les fiots houleux Monseigneur s'est ent'ui pour toujours. Buvons pourtant a Monseigneur, Qu' impt)rte que I'a sali la medisance ; Nous I'aimons tons de tres bon coeur, — On dit que I'amour s'augmente par Tabsence. 3. Les premiers rayons du soleil Ne remplirent jamais tout mon coiur, Des joies plus belles des son reveil, D'un atfreux songe qui lui fit peur, Que loi-sque dans ce tv&s beau jour — Le plus beau jour de toute ma vie — i THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. Monseigneiir est parti pour La charmante France, sa'chere mt,.; - «- souha,-to„.bo„ voyage :: r "'• Qunnporteque]a.aUla,„eLance- /lvnratoujour.sda„.,nosec«m.- ' JJam oui ' ramniir. o'„ ' •UmoursaugmenteparJ'absence. 4. Cha-itous done de C h 7 Dec b 1 i« T^' r 1 . ' •'^ g^<^s noir chien • J-e Wn pere Jacques pent dire de Wi;. Histoires touchant ce " A'n,,,. „ 7 On dit ,„.;, avait „„ :ktr"''-'-'--»-" i:^our ses pretres rl' T..I0 j ' <^;e.e.o„Lnr.St,;r""'--- Qu',mporte,,„el'a.S»liia'a„edi.,a«ce- ^a™o„r(„.e.tcepa.,.aug„e::'pari.ab.e„ce I ad everv one of his int.m T^ ? " '"""''* "' «a«h '»■ To say t at the a t^:" ''"' ^ '""""'^'"^ -*" fe'. «vad [heir hats t M , ! '""^ ^P'™S ^° 'heir ™« '0 tl.eir pent ; fe Ltir; "'"",' ''■"' ^^^ Wlau«, would be to gi v7bu a t i'"^' '^'""^''' "' *--on..enra;trr::r'i;'-t-^^^^^^^^^ 37 38 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF 'I J i say that the very Reverend vocali.st wan vociferonsily encored. Observing the alarming condition of att'aiis, and plainly i-)ereeiving that the onl}'^ way of getting out of the difficulty was simply by getting into it, he adopted the very wise alternative of making a virtue of necessity and complying with the wishes of his friends. In pursuance of this purpose he sang for theiu in glorious style the following ELEGY ON THE MORAL DEATH OF MGR. Air : — Th,e (jid I left behind me. 1. Oh, iny heart is full of grief this night, My heart is full of grief, boys, I declare I cannot taste a bite Of Mrs. Murphy's beef, boys, — Tho' on that dish my heart's best vvi.«h Is fixed ar. fond as marriage. For alas, the day ! our Lothair gay Has waved farewell to Carthage. 2. Och hone ! I'm in a dhrcadful plight, Surpassing all belief, boys ; My soul is seared with sorrow's blight And crushed beyond relief, boys. ■pp^l w I 11 If!" ■ijj n , i OF was vociferouslv idition of aftairs, i way of getting etting into it, he making a virtue he wishes of his he sang for them TH OF MGR. icZ 7ae. night, t wisl ?n ay ?e. ight, blight THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. For woe to tell I our "Bonnie Bell"* From our fond embrace is torn.- let the sad sad knell of the funeral bell Out swell for hearts forlorn. 3. B.rt a truce tojest, this Lord at best With an iron rod did rule us • We ve cause ri^ht good to thank our blood No more this Lord shall fool u. No more his hand upon our land" fehallleave its tyrant traces •- No more we'll bend to one who'd send His L-ish priests to blazes. If ory of sixty yea... had thj g^n t ■klr'f of more strondv markprl ^^ ^ to^^^en oack the echo pi-, than \lt:z ^S'zt "^r" ^p- Mtlcman at the conninJ A ^^^ Reverend ...elancholy son's °^ ""'" ''^'""''■•■' «>°"gh T '^ ' In obedience to the reaup^f nf fi . • Kelly-the lion of f h! ^"*^'^ ^^ <^'^« g^onous Father J uieiionot theevening-_ea;»^eo„.j-w, 'ng of the proceedincT. fh. '^'^/'^«*s^«^ at the open- * A term of endearment (?) used hTZ ■ "^ ■ Lord. *'^ "'^'^ ^y the priests towards the absent 39 11 40 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF departed demi-god, until, in the plenitude of time, thov retired to their respective quarters with their hands il, their breecheg pockets, and their hats upon their |.oll,s: The learned reader must have been struck with the excellent manner in which the amiable and accom- plished Father Kelly had converted, for the benefit and edification of bis Gallic brethren of the cloth, his first brilliant effusion into the French idiom. In pur- suance of the same charitable purpose, the courteous and learned Dean gave an excellent Latin version of his second song, which, in the interests of Literature, and as a slight mark of my loyal and unalterable at- tachment to the glorious Commonwealth of Letters, I take great pleasure in introducing here. CANTUS DOLOROSUS IN DISCESSIONE DO- MINI DILECTI, EPISCOPI C . MusicA : — Puella quam post me reliqui. 1. O dolore amarissimo sunt corda nostra plena, Hei mihi ! stat " in statu quo" exigua mea coena. Domina alma Murphya cibum frustra pr{i3paravit,- Heus ! "dierum aliorum Lux" trans maria evolavit, 2. O quis sanare poteric pectus hoc contritum, Foveo (me miserrimum !) dolorem inauditum, Stella nostra splendida non amplius refulgebit Et nobis nox miserise in seternum remanebit. I 111 |i| ■ |i|''i j:| , ■ 1 jj S^ J j ! is OF litude of time, thov kvith their hands ili ts upou their polls: en struck with the niable and accom- ed, for the benefit 3n of the cloth, his ch idiom. la pur- mse, the courteous t Latin version of rests of Literature, ,nd unalterable at- ealth of Letters, I here. THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. 3. 41 A,ioa.m.„a,„ Gallia., Deo gratia, erieetu. 4. Justissima causa nobis est congratulationis Adven^sse ilhus terminum apud nos locat onis Tyrannice imperaverat Sacerdotibus ffibeX Ogaud.orum gaudium 1 est ablatus in .etern ^ 5CESSI0NE DO- PI C . me reliqui. ostra plena, :igua mea ccena. stra pr{«paravit,— ms maria evolavit, sontritum, I inauditum, us refulgebit remanebit. 1 BiJ 1 j Iff I*?!*! ' f ' i f ( 1 Ll J i 1 k M THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS 01' THE MORAL SHOT. Touch not this, my honest friend, For fear the gallows should be your end. The gallows is high and you are low, Give it a tug and down you go ! — Nursery Rhyvu, Although the excellent moral contained in thel matter which I have chcsen for the present pajier isj not carried out to its rigorous conclusion, in the! melancholy, but interesting incident herein recordedj for the combined pleasure and instruction of my kyj readers, j'et, as I happen to be particularly barren i apt quotations at the pro ,ent moment, I have ven-i tured to insert it as the most appropriate that occui-^ to my memory, and as one which, I am inclined believe, is not altogether foreign to the subject. Tommy Moore, in one of those occasional religioal freaks of his, which must of a surety be calculated t| afford matter of infinite amusement to those who ar^ blessed with a lively sense of the ridiculous, piousl^ solicits the attention of his readers to the existena of the ascetic and melancholy truth that " this worlJ is all a fleeting show." Without stopping to inquii] into the sincerity of Tommy's motives in expressii^ himself in a manner apparently so much at variand — Nursery Rhyvw THE KKV THEODORE NEMO. ith hi.s general character and conduct, we have 11 ksL'ation m thro ^incr Jn n.,. . "" «»t.b„x, and ,.„io;:r„;:„ ::^^z IT"''" d»l.e,»te.l orthodoxy of 0,0 oW,.vaiio '' """ I,cn,e,„be,-, whe,. I was a very little boy, havin. .na ertam evemng. accompanied my father (rCIhi^ ml.') to an entertainment, got un L tl,. K 1 cja«teri.,tica.ly expre.e.! iJe'.yJd ;„.:"''; He jo.nt mstmotion and amusement nf .1, • i, . -^ I ..' ;^e town an , „. »urro„ndT, ™ t'J' f tt ty .*-e,,.e,,a.>irtLrt7;X^^^^^^^^^^ «i,ibitio„ bad limited tie™ of twT? "' "" -..^^ us to positively one n^, X' It wTr ;..i«n. The enteruinn n ,":;.:7 ""f-' -'"" (ill the pithy words of «. • / ' ^ ^"^^'^ ^"^'- B:-^?-T^^'S.r=:e;- ("t'^sting tableau of Tb T^ " ''°"''*"' '"='' h"y. and historical a.. alTs ^ """'' '''"'' I '^-^ ations. The canvas upon m 'ml *l 44 THE POSTHUMOUS PAI'KRS OK which the views had been depicted was so niTaihrtd that it was perpetually on the move, each pictuie fol- lowing the other in regidar siiccession to the sweet and solemn measure of a string band, down to the closing scene when the play was played out, the nm- tators dispersed to their respective homes, and all was dark and silent as before. In the course of nij' morn ing meditations, which to us gentlemen of the cktli form a very serious portion of our daily duties, it often struck me with a force sufficient to knock me somewhat otf my balance, and cause me to look foolish for a little while, that what I had a]iplau(led that night with all the unrestrained enthusiasm of happy unsophisticated boyliood was a perfect /ac simile in miniature of the nature and character of this extra- ordinary world in which we breathe and move. It does not require a wonderfully large amount of obser- vation to perceive how close and striking is the resemblance existing between that painted show got up for the amusement of a passing hour, and this other painted show which in the eyes of the majority is got up in pursuance of the same purpose, and whiel men, for want of a better name I suppose, are won to call " The World !" " What in the name of all tlie| gods at once," I hear a cross-grained fastidious spinstei of a7i uncertain age pettishly exclaim, as she throw down this poor little unoffending volume with impatient slap upon her work-box, " What in thi name of all the gods does this gentleman mean 1 Hi If OK was so arraii;,'0(l each picture tcl- on to the sweet rid, down to the ed out, the sptc- )mes, and all was irse of nij' morn- len of the clcth daily duties, it nt to knock me ne to look foolisli . applauded that usiasm of happy ct fac slmlk in iv of this extra- J and move. It amount of obser- striking is the ainted show got f hour, and this i of the majority rpose, and which ppose, are wont name of all the| astidious spinstei n, as she throwi volume with " What in th« man mean I H( THR RKV. THKonoRE NEMo. must be ' after Jiis .linnfi.' . . ^^ [Fe«l.mjj, i, ,„o.t ri,liculou iy 'o" "j'^-tra pulpit , l»PI* to he able to assure t^t 1 f P'""'- ^ <"" Uy that I cannot H„,l words '„«!." ."'"' "'""■""We '-kow.loeply sensible I a,„ of tT '"""I""" "> «.plin,ent she has l,a.l the coul „ . ""^ ""'^"""S ««ratitu,]eisiu„„eas„rablyi„ enl 1 'T "'°' *"'' ..Jfel that her excellent ^^^d::,:'' j'"" ' ''"°- ehmcler is what I have J ' ""^ "' "^y moral lespect froui her and from all hi ."f "!"' '■'-*"'n to IJI the world over I(Th,t ■"" 'f ^'■» '" "Msfortune «.gi. to turn the key on T 1""^ ^'" "^o "^'"d |«tloran,on,entortwoand "'"'"''■-box of he,. hion,icou«de„t,r:rrr[:r;;'"^''^^ I" esplaming myself to l,m- .• ' succeed f-coth and polish bey„„d h^,. T? "'"'''■''<="'«n, and h» tie ruffled plumT. e ^f tT r="""'' '^^P'«'^- k-wishtopont"^! "" ''^'"- °M W'A I ' «■« public generaC th "''' "'""*'' '■''''''^' -^ '■•«. bnt very C™^; t trlTrh-"' '''" ^^"'^ l«'«re; thatevery picture .,,.""' ""°'-''' '« » hndthe dark sM^e t'd rat I," "'"-"'^ ""•'=">" !»« ^'"ctly logiea: n^nS^t^:^: "«^-'»g h most undoubtedl-. poiess ' I ""^ " P'"" K this bilate,.l JhZracte" tic 17^7 ?«>">--' K^tion is palpable to e^ry 1 ^he truth of this « 'rouble of perusing the ubioin. , ° ''"'" ""^« » uie subjoined classical effusion. ig mmm fwr n irn m ^ '^H ' ' ^ ■ 1 fl ' ' 1 M ' '' . ' \w 'Hn ' II 1 '\ i r e ti . . i ' ! Mil 1 j \M iy yj j M 1 '^trnttrnfA^fi^^'^ «> swBS" 46 THE POSTHUMOUS PAl'KKS OK As in many a carnal prison, all the world over, there are, thank Heaven I hearts and souls incarceratt'(l jmiv and true as gold; so, on the other hand, in many a carnal jirison, all the worKl over, there are hearts and souls incarcerated, a positive disgrace to their species, who throw dark shadows as they cross the canvas, and cast a hideous dimness on the bright beauty of the scene. The germ to which the following story owes all its life and strength and beauty was first implanted in the fertile soil of ray youthful mind hy the venerable hands of the kind old gentleman wliu in more senses than one happens to be the hero oftlie tale. " My dear friend," said the dear old man to me one day (I was living with him in the capacity of curate at the time), " my dear friend, you cannot hei too mucli on your guard against the rascals of this country. I am proud to say, indeed, that we have numbers of excellent God-fearing people whose virtued are the glory and consolation of their church, but, onj the othe^' han""" ^ * ^pealT ^i ""; ':"""'■' ^- "- -'-joined. It '"■foulest slander, ever r' ™"'' '° ""^ »f l«b,e na,„e-!:nr ^ "It;!,,:" """"r ""'• kinventedbythenerverf.r '^'".'"'"'"» "h^ges '-^aiwed^uro^rr/r :?"";; i"'- '•- '««e who, by his profession hi ',,; ', 1"'' '""'"■■ k to borrow the beantlfnl '"' ""•' ^o^h- "tower of streno-th that sf„„!i .^ ""nyaon, >'«nds that blow' '*' '^"'"' ^l"""-^ to an &:!;::::f::re?^^--"-ce„ft.hesu^^ I "■'^'" ' '''''g»'«=<' and chaste beanty .-}!!. '■r\ 48 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF of the air to which it is so happily adapted, is sure to secure for it au infallible passport of admittance into the most j)olished and fashionable circles : THE MORAL SHOT. Air: — Arra, Johnme, I gave you schooUn'. 1, Come all ye lovely Ii'ish maids, give ear unto my tale A most disthressing history I'm going for to re vale A.l)out the Lord's anointed, and the insult he resaveil, But the Loi'd presarved him from his foe, and his re- putation saved. 2. 'Twas on a Sunday morning, all in the month of May, Sweet Nature, robed in glory, looked queenly, bright. and gay; The Sunday bells were ringing out o'er all the pacefulj town, And to his flock the word of God was Father Ned lav-| ing down. 3. He wasn't long discoorsin', when a villain bowld and] hot, Swore out among the people he'd have the Father shot] " You are a wolf in sheep's attire ; have done, you .son, of a gun — I'll have you out before the coorts," says this wicken vagabone. pow God thrive jJ'i twenty- [He took si] l^'iii tould t the saj ^'lis chas ^olarly goo P"s|'ii'ation ( tido of s< 4 1 ^ffTi 11 1 . 1 ll [' ■ ''1 i ' m jj i J THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. 4. 49 illain bovvldanJl Tlien Father Ned Iip im o»j . a.,d fine : '' """^ «<" ""'' ^^Poke out bowld •This man, my daoent pcoole ]« «n • ■ V" al, know who and \ZuL" aT'fT" • fess case,— ^'"^ ''ard and reck- '»"",.onyo„,eo„.,htab,e,.„hi„, „,„,„, „„^^^, 5. Oh, here within this biessp,! }m,.c t ror fou,. and thirty yeZ Zl'^t^t''- '" ^"^ true ;_ ^^° a laithful pnest and I H^rf not this noted vagabone, for he's in H . ■ pay, * ' '^^ "6s in the devil's I ^^^^ „ .y ^ repute before my flock this 6. )^,H::.,i'"""'''''''''^"'^'-"^--ve.. known to Ft?:tSr:;;--t"---- f'"r---oa,.dhet;;,r:'™:„:;:!;r- h-ation of the sweetest m'h""'^'"' *" '""■"'"g I ill 50 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF mer excursion across the Atlantic, and if report s])eaks true, is having quite a roaring time of it " on the otlier side of Jordan." The poor little creature has been distorted into almost all the languages of Europe; every joint in her unfortunate little body has been rudel}'^ dislocated to suit the hideous idiosyncra- cies peculiar to the languages of those Eastern barba- rians — until, what between her own constitutional infirmities upon the one hand, and the cruel kindness lavished on her l»y her well-meaning but mistaken friends upon the other, she is (not to put too fine a point upon it) positively without a leg to stand on. Ladies and gentlemen, I am, as you are aware, the unfortunate parent of that child — not only Quoad cm- brum, but also and more especially Quoad cor ; and hence it is that, in pursuance of the noblest and most imperative duty that can strike upon the tender chords of a father's heart, I mount the velocipede of love and trundle off to the relief — the rescue, of my darling an 1 suffering child. Come, rest in this bosom, my own stricken deer, Tho' the herd has fled from thee, thy home is still here;] HJere still is the smile that no cloud can o'ercast, And the heart and the hand all thine own to the last, Thou hast called me thine angel, in moments of Still thine angel I'll be, 'mid the horrors of this. Thro' the furnace, unshrinking, thy stejDs to pursue, And shield thee, and save thee, or— well, that'll do! ss Deal- ladies, you who are blesse,! „-.i , too, and know a parent's ™ ^ da-'ghter's l..rt have eve,- be^t w^I ,?'"'■ r" "'""«' g^nt'e ™.«>t. from a lot t/Z ? ^-^g^'y co„. 4eMt„reofthoseCie e?r;: -Pr""e,wi* Md indissoluble bond ihe heart, !f.f '" * S''^''^" l»yo", dear ladies, I a nealT , 1 ? ''"'' ■"""■«■; JtesMor consolation S"" ''' l'°"'' °^ "^ »,-».. alone who ean nnde tlld ' Tr"'^'' ^"' '' *ne who can unravel the Ith, ^ ''"=■"'' '^ ''^ y" ! I»™ ; i' - you alone theretW { '"^'''^''-^ "''^ ''''t''^-'-' 'itt me the affectTon tl e " T« "? ""." "'" "'" *-- .«Mon with wh eh niv he?. '' "'" ^""'"'■'orbin. fe.ny beloved n,y pe„,e, Mted chiM ""^ '"'™"''' .f^y,.oordea.t.;^:;t:t^^v'''''""^■''>-^' le,-«.ief from her.. ... 1,! ° ? '"'""^ '''™<=« «'" <" upon the troubled waTers :f W "' ■"""''"« ^--^ l*,.,t, therefore of mv broth„ r. u"'™"'- ^"^ *•>« Kc-ed, with the very t ' „?'^ "'^" ''='™ -" jfiwh version of the abovl '"'™"™^' *" give a t-llent re,^sons, hltZr^f ■^'"' '"' ^O' [-•I" the liberty ot affix ^af ' '" ^"'"^ ^«' I « I flatter „,Lif wTh ? , T-"f """ '"■ '».>' "^'n ; »-' a task ir tL:a?u 1^ : :t\f "r - hmce of the Author who If ^^ ''"'''''"sive h".?l'ly acuaint , '^ith t"?' """""'' '° •» witii the true meaning, the h mm -M ■■»si:.m:m 52 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF genius, the soul, of his production. For the benefit and amusement of the classical scholar, I shall after- wards append a Latin translation of the same, set to the admired air of " The girl I left behind me." CE COUP DE FUSIL EPOUVANTABLE. Jjlt: — Je vous ai donnede V education, mon petit Jeui,; Ah, dwh oui! Venez mes braves Irlandais, appretez-vous roreille, Je vais vous dire une histoire pleine de tristesse et de devil, Touchant le pere Ne& Smiley, un homme fort innocent. , Et la grosse insulte qu'il a re^ue de quelques mauvais gens. Ce fut Ic dimauche matin, un fort beau jour de Mai- La terre en robe de verdure fut bellement habillee; Le tenteraent des cloches seulement interroinpit lej silence, Qui exer^a sur la gentille ville sa haute mais douce I puissance. 3. Le pere n a gu^re commence a nouirir ses brebis, Du pain de la Parole Divine lorsqu' uu gredin fortj impie, Se leva de son banc et dit, " heretique, taisez vous Vous serez debout devant le juge demain, mon beauj bijou." Le hou D'line 1 "Tout I fat II ne fa lec( Faites ei vie, Des le b pris- h vous ( chose [•Siir nia ^ pose.' [Oil, les m( iaond( m queJqu( cette > |Ils'esteml geres, I'nditqu'iJ '1 ! I ,1 m r 1 THK REV. THEODORE Nemq. 4. S3 ,ute mais doucej 11 ne faut truerp rlnn« lecoute^r pa': "' ''"" •"' "'""' """"ande da ne o. faitc.s examen, si vous vn,,!^ ^.^^ ™"' ™"'<'^. vous toua ! de toute ma "^'J^ beau j„„o.,ap..,.H.e.,,..„e. ,,,„,,, j,, [■'-«to,.dop,.„,..e..eo„e.„,„na,„oi„d..e |*;:e."'*''"'™ ■■""---> ee,.ee.,.je™e..e. 6. H..^u.jo„.ee.a,ho..e„.do„„e,obo„Jou... 'U'« e„.ba,,„,, New yo,.fc ,„,,,, ,,,,^^^„,^^^_ hiM"'iia.,M„a„r..a,e,et.e,,t„o,e-da„.,a..,e.. m 'if. II. m 54 THE POSTHUMOUS HAl'KRS OF ISTA ALAPA HORRENDA. MusiCA : — Puella quain post me reliqui. 1. PulchraB Hibernre vlrgines, mihi aures detis : — Scindenda sunt tenoirima corda qua? habetis, Narraturus sum enimvero nioestissiraum eventum (Proh ! dolor) est aptissimus ad lai>idem liquefacien- dum. 2. Quadam Dominica diluculo, die Maii bella, Indumento virdissinio vestita speciosa terra, Canipanarum tintinabulum solum modo perturbavit Pacem quae oppidulum totum dulcissime gubernavit. 3. O vix porrexit Pater Ned gregi pijedicare Quando quidam improbi simns homo coiispicitur se , levare, De sede sua exclaraans, " lupe rapax, tace Meeura venire judice coram, crastina die, place. Illico surrexit vir Dei innocentia sua tutus, Dicenrj." Iste, ut nostis vos, profundissiu.e est iiobutusj Malitia diaboii, Be* Izebub cognatus — Ad pacem, mi apparitor, securissime sit legatus. Lb^ I PP *'" (WS 1 if ' IP Mm , :; ■i OF ;nda. me reliqui. es detis : — ; habetis, Lium eventutn idem liquefacien- i belia, ja terra, ;>do pertiubavit iime gubeniavit. 'HE REV. THEODORE NEMO. 5. 55 ,, , ■'"""" «oienniter vobis ( V««»ngelii Altissimi ; virfcutemque perawivi 6. Vero semper habent improbi infelice.n .sortem Post paucosdiey neater virsalnf«v;f i ' C«,.Ht ..an. oceanun. p^SltZr '""'^"'■ I"procellAsep„ltuse,t.,„bfluctibus;:Cfe, i:;.^ ilicare QO conspicitur se j tace die, place. , tutus, ^siu.e est imbutus| sit legatus. s*. m 56 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF THE STORY OF A DANDY. if HI! Some sing of the king and some sing of the queen, But I sing the praises of Irish poteen, The lovehest liquor that ever was seen, Beaming bright in a bottle is Irish poteen. — Drinking Song. The purport of tliis paper has reference to a verv melancholy incident in the lite of a most excellent old gentleman, more venerable for his virtues than his years, to whom the writer of these papers has lon^ since bound his heart Ijy ties ot love so firm that nothing but the rude hand of deatli can ever serve to bui-st the golden bonds asunder. Across the vast and chequered waste of four-and-thirty years of almost unmitigated fctrife and toil, he stands out to-day before the world the rare specimen of a man who has ])asse(] unscathed through the furnace, who has been tried i in the balance and was not found wanting ; the bloodless victor of a hundred hard-fought fields— fields that have brought more brilliant trophies to his feet and placed greener laurels on his venerable head than the con- quest of a hundred woi'lds, who has borne the brunt j IR*H ' m 1 - 1 i r ■'•HE REV. THEODORE NEMo. of a thousand storms. " ono «,.!,« • ^^ reTOds haa ta'en with equal tlmnk," T , i* .^""^ Jwell upon this theme, pLuant "V\ • ""''' *"'" *.g virtuou., and goo'df ^^r: iet, ' ^e rj^- brance of ast year's «i.m.v, n ^ I'emem- Men with the ddi i„ r. ^'"^'''' """''' '» »'« btecl memories. ' "*'■"'""= "^ "'""y ''W Tlie deep interest ivliicli the Deri,««i „f ... , . Ipic ,.„ be naturally oalculate'd HLt tth -"""I of mv kind reader will t "" ^^^ite m the mmd «ed.heniir„::x;tr°""''r'^ -ont therein recorded is Tt a tert M'tt '^ k- those'Z;^^ thCf Ctrl'; Tf [»«, are proof ac^l^*^' *""* "*'"''• '''''= ™»» of KVro.rLi:r j;:^:vr ", r/ Jitmove from the mind ^r , ■ " "''"''''■ ^o .f^o„bt anent he ^e ae tv'; th' ''1 ■'■'"''' '""'^« •ill. I am sure, be suffic fnt to » T"'^ **''• " hmdriftand purport of tL. '7 ''"" "'"*' "'« hther source than L . "^ ^ '•'''''™'' *'-™' »«HgentLa„bim::;;-"'^^^"^™"^«p-f«- r joyng the delightful and salutary exercise of ■-e ^n^' *wH.--" 58 THE POSTHUMOUS I'APKRS OF a walk subsequently to the discussion of their frufral mid-day meal. It was, as I have stated, the close of a very beautiful day in the most beautiful season of the year. The happy earth, basking in the crimson glory of the setting sun, smiled good night on the departing god. The air was redolent with the deli- cious perfume of countless summer flowers, and tilled with the liquid melody of song. Eveiy blade of gra,s8 that waved, every leaf that rustled, every bird that sang, every bright- winged insect that buzzed and sparkled in the sunshine, every brook thai murmured in the woodland, all <'emed to unite in pouring forth, in one glorious stream of harmony, a joyous hymn of thanksgiving and of 'love to the magnificent Author of their beauty, and the spirit of Heaven appeared to breathe upon the world. Oh, glorious summer season, fairest daughter of the year, and benign as thou art fair ! Not content with brightening by thine angel presence this happy earth of our.s, and throwing over I it, as it were, a halo of celestial glory, — e'en when }( are gone from the world you have blessed, you linger] fondly in our hearts, and, by the indwelling of your angel spirit, leave a glorious burst of sunshine there. I Oh, glorious summer season ! when all external nature! wakes again, and all created things, reflecting, in the! shining mirror of their loveliness, something of tliej image of their God, bespeak in their own beautifiilj and silent eloquence His wondrous bounty, magnifi-l cence, and love, all bear the stamp of Heaven. il 'HE RE\. THKODORE NKMo. 5^ The old man leaned upon his staff W r " Fted, as though he were silenttthfb: '^L"" trancing beauty of the scene Hi. U^ ^ ^ ^°" ^"PP--' emotion an., a Z, t n^t^r;^^^ now, DOW, now, now • l)„„'f i , T °^' mm that. Tl,„u.^, it' "Tk T^'""^' ^ ''"'''* .!« poor old gento'l h™*^" 'f ""'^"""•'^''Ke,! that .-. « « .ettCXtt"^ ^:.:r:if' r^- ,,mtMarly acid nature .still t„h ^ ?: ''"" "'' i« .«i- all exc«,ife Zr^t " ""'' "'''''«'<""' je..« in that dang^'Z^^J"" unnecessary i„dul. exoHc alluded to above constlt *' '"'""'""' palatable a componenri it' T "T""' ^"' ^" Mea,. reader, L a tTr drop Ttrw"' ' ^"""'^ '"-.leaned upon hia staff, aX drop a t"""'/'"" :"'." I'- ^y»- He winked. I„ v Ju'e^nT'' '"^P" , n™ imparted bv this oci.l... . "" mmnen- J^phadfallenout and a^. !'?"'•''''■ ""^ '''■''«»'"'l l™ the even ten'; ofit! 1 '''^ '"""" <'«Pa'ture. ««d unaccountable reas™» "'' '°™? "'''"'"■■dina.y J« quarter, wa.s I re" ret t' 'T"™ '" ">*' '<'''- "«leold "utleman t? °i ' '"'' """ ""> ""''''rtu- ,e"tlen,an, though normally the mildest and 6o THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF best oi' human beings, was forced to lay Huiniiuiry and violent hands upon it, and, with one destructive swHep, blot out the wretched truant from amongst the tliiii«r,s that were, in the sweet words of the poet : The Father leaned upon his stick, And wiped away the tear. He then informed me, with a species of sorrowful solemnity, habitual to the old gentleman whenever he felt anxious to relieve his mind of something with which it did not appear to be on the very best ot terms, that he was about to relate a little anecdote, " which," he pithily observed, "you will find to be not only of an amusing, but, what is still better, of a highly instructive character." As I had learned from expo rience that all these recorded stories of the excellen'; old gentleman, albeit indicative of a deciUedly uniform tendency, were nevertheless of a most edifying de- scription, and calculated to convey excellent lessons to the young and inexperienced, I was of course al' attention sur-le-chamjj, and my anticipated enjoyment of the approaching treat, was considerably intensified by the interesting circumstance that the purport of his story possessed a very intimate, in fact a deci- dedly personal relation, with the dear old gentleman himself. " On such an evening as the present," he began ; " I was called away about ten miles into the country on a sick call or some such necessary duty. The heat uf the day was such that it was hot enough to roast a I 1 i^MR ''III fi 1 'mI THK REV. THKODORK NKMO. ^ .k.t lu. wa, bo„„ J ,t^'',:; '™f ,—'' "' •'- place A»:,o,.t time bef„..e retiVl, f/rB , ^rHiir'T;''^ .Iways employo.1 by ,1,: excellent n , ' ^*"' ''""' ...fetitute for the trite 1!" "" "■'' " "'«'«'' a sl.ort time bitl !>!:•«" "^"" ' 8"'"*-' '» bcr, Bu„t,.,.»Hil,the Ivrf?.™^ "'^'"'^ '""■'''' '» Wl witi, .1, I . • " '"'"•'<' '" *l''»l' I i'xlired ^^or„„nc„.t:t:^,::^;"^-;^;h„ttu,„. tm reminds mp ^a,.,, . ^i , "*^"® meaaven- j ,^ ^^^ jed up ,n a blanket, seventy times a,s high as "That was'ut all my dear fri^nrl ti • i constituted the clim«v nf ^^''' ^^ "^ "^^^"'^ tne climax of my misery. Dad. sir, do you i\ 62 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF ¥ ! know ? After a short and feverish sleep, I woke up to find myself horribly conscious of having struck the key of P. " Father,' said I. " excuse me, you what ?" " I struck the key of P." " Struck the key of P ? " " Young man," quoth the old gentleman somewlir.t severely, " are you so deficient, so wonderfully defi- cient in your knowledge of the Queen's English, as to be ignorant of perhaps the commonest term in the Anglo-Saxon tongue ? " " The expression, as you very properly remark Rev. Father," I retorted, " is indeed so very common, that that very circumstaisce is perhaps the most suitabk' apology I can advance for the ignorance, the una,.„•,•, Or rather veO' rude. Gaze i„ JZL'Tj"^^ '"'' ''""■ y°" "'« ^■/toform some faiut no ;„" ot ? T"' "'"='""•'""' »)' feelings on that moTd Xat f"'*"'' •''^'^' "^ wming, tliere/m-e, my dear l„ r '"""■ '^-■^'' i»Sftom this terribTdIr ^, ■""'"'"'''« '^«^-»- Ms to be careful I„ „|| ? "" ''''"■" "" "" "eca- !■«' people you canno b^e'T '"°"'' '"'^■'^°"'»<' ^"«> »"?k' in any shape J lit T f ' """"'"« «-' •oproduee, or to^-„d„ee such ','"'""' '" ""''"S «"■ "■retched Stat* of things. "' * ''"^K'^^aWe, suci, a After thanking the^kinri „i i >«<1 interesting .sfory an^n " T, '"'■ '''" '^«""™t M moral lessen 1 f C, P'!'-"^'''" ^ for the boauti- ' '"». i*. we retrace o« 1^ r' '"'''' '""'™ '" '^•^"-' '" «- '•"•eresTof h se'^:,:":;^'- '^ '"'"'■ »«. I take great nle»t! ■«l'""ney' o„ t|,e TALE OF A DANDY. AiR-The Shan Van Voglu. I. Ye lads aiuJ Ja.s,se,s gay ^^y^ ^he Shan Van Yoght. 'Twould be indecent to detail — We shall therefore throw a veil O'er this portion of our tale, Says the Shan Van Voght. VIII. When the timepiece with a shock, Sasys the Shan Van Voght, Proclaimed 'twas twelve o'clock. Says the Shan Van Voght, The Father softly rose, — Quoth he, " 'tis time to close Our eyes in sweet repose, " Says the Shan Van Voght. IX. {Pater solus in cuhiculo loquitur — which, interpreted into the vernacular, loosely, signifieth : — the Fa- ther soliloquiseth in his little bed). By gosh, that glass of toddy. Says the Shan Van Voght, Has made me rather noddy. Says the Shan Van V^oght. Hi ! i ifj id that, Vf'ght. Bil Voght. hock, Voght, ck, Voght, Voght. ich, interpreted fieth :— the Fa- Voght, Voght. THE REV. THEODORE NEMa T'" just p„t out the hVht And bid the world goo^d ^ight For I fear m. getting tight."' Says the Shau Van Voght. X He had scarcely closed his eyes ^^^'^ <^he Shan Van vUt When he met wkh a surprise ' ' ^^y« the Shan Van Vo-ht Something dropped upon the el^^^^^^^ That disturbed poor Ned's repos' -- ' Oh the rest I won't disclose, Says the Shan Van Voght. XI. He gave an awful roar, Says the Shan Van Vo^ht Bounced out upon the floor, ^ ' Says the Shan Va'n Vocrhf ImustbeHiOH,"sayshe, ^^'' i;or by the powers that be ive struck the key of P." n Says the Shan Van Voght. xn. ^ow I fear it is not right ThatI>h^Tfu^'^'^'^"^^"^Vit. ^ hat Should bring to light, Says the Shan Van Vocrht ry 6>S THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF And tc the wings of fame Pin this melancholy thame ; Ah, but sure 'twas all a dhratno, Says the Shan Van Voght. Xtll. Then ye lads and lasses gay, Says the Shan ^/an Voght, Who love a pleasant lay, Says the Slmn Van Voght, I hope ye've paid attention To this funny little " meni'on"; Is ii t it woytii a two year';i pensioii ? Says the S. V. V, HISTl>'i:,E DTTN PETIT VERRE DE PUNCH, (Version franqaise). Faites attention, mes enfants Dit le Shan Van Voght. A ee rdcit bien touchant Dit le Shan Van Voght. Je vais vous dire comment Un malheureux accident Arriva au p^re Con, Dit le Shan Van Voght. fci > ^ fli f Ii i fer'-r 1 PAPERS OF fame jharne ; I a dliramo, an Van Voffht. O es gay, an Van Vf^gut, 'ay, an Van Voglit, ntion jneni'on"; year'a pcitsioii ? V. \; ERRE DE PUNCH, n(;aise) enfants Van Voght. ,nt Van Voght. nent jut Van Voght. THE REV. THEODORE NEMO. II. C'etait dans la belle saison I>it le Shan Van Vo^ht Qu une deputation, ^ Dit le Shan Van Voght i^ernanda an bon p^^re I>e faire chez eux la guerre ^^ontre les puissances de I'enfer I^'t le Shan Van Voght. III. Ditlep^.re, " le bon froment " J^it le Shan Van Voght Que demandent vos bonnes gens l^jfc le Shan Van Voght Je vous le donnerai avec joie, " ^ar .e ciel est mon temoin Que vous en avez grand besoni, Dit le Shan Van Voghfc. IV. Arrives au sejour, Dit le Shan Van Voaht ^fon h6te dit 4 son tour ^ Dit le Shan Van Voght Vous ^tes le bienvenu n.on p4!l t^renez done ce petit verre : ii rechauffra votre etieur, I>it le Shan Van Voght. 69 ^i , ^- ii '*:4^^^ 70 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPEkS OF Ne m'en donnez pas de trop, Dit le Shan Van Voght. Je dois me tenir coninio il taut, Dit le Shan Van Voghfc. Uu gar^on, Jean, eomme moi Doit avoir tres grand soin De nailer point trop loin, Dit le Shan Van Voght. VI. N'ayez pas la moindre peur, Dit le Shan Van Voght. Que ne t'ar:i^ive un tel malheur, Dit le Shan Van Voght. Ce breuvage est si doux, Que tu peux aller tout au bout, Sans devenir sous du tout, Dit le Shan Van Voght. VII. LS,-dessus mon bote produit, Dit le Shan Van Voght. Une bouteille d'eau de vie, Dit le Shan Van Voght. Dit le p^re, " dam ! voyez vous," II a un fort bon gout Egad ! * j'en prendrai un autre coup, Dit le Shan Van Voght. * Derived from the Latin, ego, employed here to intensify the force 1 of the personal pronoun. THE REV. THEODORE NEMo. VIII. Wsque I'horloge sur la chem'nde Cit ]e Shan Van Voght ' Proclama I'heure de minuit, ^it ]e Shan Van Vocrht ^e bon pfere s'est ]ev^ ° ' En disant, 9a suffit Voyez Si mon verfcueux iit est fait, Dit le Shan Van Voght. IX. (Le p^re parle seul daus sa chambre.) Egad ; j'ai tres grand peur. Dit le Shan Van Voght Que ce niechaut petit verre , Dit Je Shan Van Voght. Va faire un bouleversem^nt Dans la t^te du pauvre Jean <^h, que j'^tais imprudent, ' Dit le Shan Van Voght. X. J^otre preux chevalier, Dit le Shan Van Voght i^es yeux n'a guer^ ferme, ' Dit le Shan Van Voght Naivlqu'e^t-cequec'estque^a' Qin a tomb^ sur le drap 2 Oh, dam ! sans dire 9a va, Dit le Shan Van Voght. 71 ^H i 1 1 t 1 1 1 L^ ^ 72 THE POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OK 3sro. "v^. LINES ^>I TH JEATH OF A DEAR FRIEND I deer; it necessary to inform my kind reader that the following lines were written when I was a very young man— somewhere about that interesting period of my existence whcj x was a dreauiy and listless sojourner on the debatable territory which separates the pleasant and flowery land of boyhood from that vast and dreary wilderness called Man's Estatk. For the grand and numerous errors therefore wliich, it must be acknowledged, constitute the mostproinineiu features in the following humble contributions to the literature of my country, my extreme youth will I am confident be received by a kind and generous public as a satisfactory apology. They relate to the upI! nely death, surrounded as it was with circumstances of a peculi rly painful character, of a fellow-student of the writer and one of the truest and dearest friends that had ever blessed his younger and hanpier days. He was too innocent ana pure for this bad false woiU, and God in His beneficial wisdom deemed it beat to take him I me. The po< fellow »« whose chas- ''yearnii, fondij-. s,veetly yoarnin. f .,, pilgrim's -oal i y»a'ning, for the wearied 'H"k' hear yon ,t ,1, ', "eet thei; „on„ .f^e « ''°«''"«- "l" '""' % -e to take Wsp^rit to Ood. Wight home !S;t"iTrh^^"'-''p-'---ord.-oh, V"»*""'^"'^'-PPysoultohe,ae.™irest; ■ bl ■ JBr ■ ^*L H 1 , P li.L '# ■ ■■* / i 74 li THK POSTHUMOUS PAPFRS Ol ON THE SAME. iiii I. I l()ng and fondly loved him, Yet, though in the tomb he's lain I would not for this world's wealth Call him back to earth again. II. His soul was pure as the gushing stream That bursts from the mountain's head ; His heart was after God's own heart, With every virtue fed. III. Alas ! the withering blast came soon And closed his ( ^ es in sleep ; Snatched from me my much loved one And left me here to weep. IV. Like some fair flower which sweetly Reigns queen of all the bed ; But the ruthless blast comes quickly And bends her lovely head. III MM RS OF E. '•HE KEV THEODnKK nk.mo. V. So he in youth and bea.ity Bade thin sorrowing work! good night. And h.s sainted soul to Hoavn Fast winired her sacrod flicrht. 75 )'s lain 3 wealth in. ishing stream [tain's head ; Dwn heart, "Oz^ 7«/> Me2 Beov, a7ro0,,',aKec vio^. came soon p; jh loved one 3h sweetly d; les quickly 3.