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Un das symbolas suivants apparattra sur ia darnlAra imaga da chaqua microflcho, salon ia cas: ia symbols — ► signifia "A SUIVRE", ia symbols ▼ signifia "FIN". IMaps, plataa, oharta, ate., may ba fllmad at diffarant raduotion ratioa. Thoaa too iarga to ba antlraly ineludod In ono oxpoaura ara fllmad baglnning In tha uppar laft hand corner, loft to ritfht and top to bottom, aa many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: Lea cartes, planchss, tableaux, etc., peuvent Atre fllmas a oes taux da riduction diffironts. Lorsque ie document est trop grand pour Atre roproduit en un soul clichA, 11 est filmA A partir da i'angle supAriAur gauche, do gauche A droite, et do haut an bas, en prenant ia nombre d'images nAcesv'iire. Los diagrammes suivants iliustrent la mAthode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 'f-'^ ■ ^' :,t - ^ ^ \di>--i ri ' V X t^o /' .* f^^ ■». .:THE:. Logan Collection of Canadiana THE GIFT OP K*. G. T. Webster, Ph. D., ! M 1MB vmumtmmir sr Bwuai. ^jM^ 1 ii^i , jatf j«{te_j^Kj lid -..,_.> T II ' i ll £::^^^ 7 ^PuLJf^ A^ TRIF -^ # TO \' 1 1IIM4A4 V4ft&i% BY BRICKTOP. c J ILLUSTRATED. \ NEW TORE: OOIllN ft SICALL. PUBLISHEB8, 69 BESSKliAN 8TBEBT. 187& * ] MooidlBc to a* Aot of OoogNM ill tha 7Mr 1014, bj OQLUHftSIUZX. of the lAnHaii otCtmytm, at WoAlngtan. fathaOOM «i. i\ ) I mpPiHPpppMliiiiJJUii;. I i.i|ippip|^uy;ipj|j!.|ipnwii^i.i i .•^ -»-'■' -, U V A ) A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALL^. MT first lesson in geography did not embrace Niagara Falls, but my curiosty got ahead of the regular lesson, and I found myself gazing at a picture of the terrific slop-over, learn- ing all there was in the book relating to it, ^nd going at recita- tion time to the foot of the class for not knowing what had been assigned me. From that day until I began to show polish on the top of my head, did I long to see Niagara. I bought several pictures of it ; went to every gallery where a painting of it was to be seen ; read tourists' descriptions of it, and in various ways crammed my- self full of dry Niagara. But at length I determined to see the original, and stop fool- ing with my imagination, and so taking the cars I started for a gentle saunter of four hundred miles, from the seaboard to the border of the Empire State. There is nothing like being drawn in a drawing-room car, especially when you feel that you are drawing nearer to your destination at the rate of fifty miles an hour. Seating myself I proceeded to get into a position for comfort and observation. I found that the revolving chair fitted me exactly ; couldn't have been better had the upholsterer taken my measure. During the few moments before starting I had a good chance 39^5'?, I ' 'w'MOT'wwmpmmMl^^pr /♦ T7 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. w /f f to observe my fellow travelers, many of whom were summer tourists and bound also to Niagara. In came the traveled man, divested of everything but a flask, umbrella and duster. His practiced eye told him at a glance which was the shady and which was the sunny side, from which side there was the most to be seen, and he suits himself to a seat as eapily as a frog takes to the water. Then comes an old couple ; each one carrying half a dozen bundles of some kind or other, and they stumble along the aisle, banging passengers' heads ; she calling for him to sit in one place, and he insisting upon another locality, the result being, probably, that while they are dodging this way and that, still undecided which chairs to occupy, other passengers take them, and they are obliged to try their luck in another car. Then comes in a newly married couple, bound for Niagara, of course, and take a survey of the car. "Fm afraid, Birdy, that we can't get two seats together in this car," he says. "Well, Woutsey, I wouldn't care to ride in a drawing-room car anyway," she replies. "Why, Birdy?" "Because — I — we — that is, Geoi^e, a chair holds only one you know, and — " He understands ; and away they go in search of a car with seats that accommodate Uoo. Then a blustering man comes in, red in the face, frowning at those who have taken the best seats. If looks could blast, the whole car-load would instantly become a peck of dry bones. Then a timid, bashfiil man comes in. He has never traveled much and is altogether uncertain as to whether he is in the right car or not. He is loaded with umbrella, bags, bundles, &c., and in his confusion he gets in somebody's way, drops something. 6 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALI^. "Dox't 00 a TBoa, GaoBoa : thb sbitb hold but one." hich stopg to pick it up, and is run into by somebody's val'se, causes him to recover so suddenly as to drop the remainder of his load, thus blocking up the pasageway and putting everybody out of temper. Then a fat mother and lean daughter appear. 8he is red of face and wild of eye, carries several bundles and a poodle dog, while the daughter hesitates along behind her, without apparently knowing or caring what it is all about, anyway. The old lady finds only one seat vacant, but does not hesitate to ask a man in the next, if he will not change to another single seat, and allow m A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. her to occupy his oppoBito her daughter. The man looks up as though about to say ho would see her hung first, when he meei<« the beseeching, auxiliary eyes of the daughter, bows and vacates with the best grace ho has to spare. And so they come, all kinds, shapes, dress, and disposition, until the signal is given, and away we move slowly out of the depot. Rumbling over streets, crawling under bridges, and diving into tl:'^ darkness of the long tunnel ; the electric spark at work, recording our passage and announcing our coming miles beyond ; Coxaa THBOUOH thi TDmiKL, Ain> LEJLYiNa New Yobx bxbimd. T^f»iPWW^P«»T" mmt 8 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. the chatter of passengers, the click of car wheels, and the general ruf h of everything marks our exit from Gotham. Ding-dong, rattle-te-uang — and away we glide out into the country, and in a few moments the beau^M, glorious Hudson riyer comes in view. Fairer scenes are nowhere to be found than unfold themselves on this rock-walled river. People go to Europe for the same reason that they wear finger rings, not because it is necessary, but because it is fashionable to do so; and yet they see nothing brighter, more romantic or beautilM than they can find along fhe Hudson. At Tonkers there werf several exits from our car and several entries, and three or four who were dissatisfied with thei? seats in some other car came in to see if they could better themselves.* In some instances they did, perhaps, and in others they even lost the ones they did have and had to stand up until the next stop- ping place and the next stirring up. As for me, tb.is changing brought me &oe to &ce with an English cockney Aiio had come over to "do" the leading features of America. It has been given out, and generally believed, that the genuine Yankee asks more questions than anybody else ; but it is a mistake. This chap could double discount the ticking of a clock and give it points. ** Hi say, my uiend," he asked, wheeling around and tapping me on the shoulder, "Hi say, his this a part of the New York Bay?" pointing to the river. " Oh, yes, all connected," I replied. " You don't tell me so! How far does hit reach up this way?" he asked pointing ahead. "Well, two hundred miles or such a matter." "Mercy on me! Then hit's something like a river?" "Oh yes, it is sometimes called a river," said I. **• '.> m -^ <^ i A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALI£. 9 Mt ooomzz AncMD who was in se&bob or mroawmos. "I dare say, Hit's almost as big as the 'Tems,' hi should say." Allowing him to have his own opinion respecting his own muddy river and the Hudson. I wheeled around and began to read a paper. But this did not shut him off. "What place is this?" he asked, as we whizzed through a little hamlet. "I give it up," I replied, rather tartly. "Higivehitupl What blarsted queer names you 'ave in this country, to be sure," he muttered. mmm ^ipippm mmmntF wfm^emm (pppl-p-pw- 10 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALI£. But I was bound not to disabuse ' 'm, and so returned to my paper. "Hi say, that would be a very nice bit hover there, if hit honly 'ad a castle on it," he said, pointing across the river. Not wishing to disturb him, I merely nodded. "Hi say, the trains do not run so &st as they do at 'ome, you know," he said, again tapping me on the shoulder. " In Germany ?^' I asked, wheeling around and facing him. " Germany ! Bless you, no, Emglcmil" he said, flushing up with indignation. " Why, my dear sir, I certainly thought you was a German," said I, looking at him honestly. " Do hi look an' speak like a blarsted Dutchman? No, sir! hi ham han Hinglishman." "Indeed. But you must have spc ^t many years in Germany ?" "Never was hin the blarsted country hin my life." "Oh," and I subsided, hoping he would do the same. "Be you han Hamarican?" he asked, at length. "No, sir, I am a New Englander." " Oh, you be, hey? Wall, 'an do you like this here blarsted country anyway?" "Oh, can't bear it! Nothing like Old or New England." "Been here long?" "Only a few years. But, for fear I may disturb you and take your attention from the delightful scenery, I will give you the leading facts relating to myself all in a lump," said I, facing him again. He appeared delighted. "My name is Kennebunk Bricktop. I was bom in the State of Maine ; am forty years of age ; somewhat bald ; teeth and eye- sight good ; am an editor by profession ; wear No. 10 shoes ; don't pad ; am sound in wind, limb and theology ; am not a millionaire ; i\ *"> I r / mmm A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 11 / hare just left the small-pox hospital, and am tra^elmg* for my health/' ''Mercy on me!" he exclaimed, starting up with open mouth and eyes. " 'Ave you got well of hit?" "Well, no, but I got tired of staying cooped up in the hospital and thought I would travel a bit." "But, my dear sir, hit's catching!" "Well, yes. But I suppose you have been vaccinated." "No, blarst my bleedin' hies if I 'ave, though!" he said, gathering up his parcels. *^ji I naoMm tse oosoiBiTOLtatam or a hbobbob. "W^mfPWMPHMMIIIPMmVPI 12 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. ♦ ■ '' But yon are young, strong and healthy. Such pple never catch it. Sit down, I want to pomt ont places of interest to. yon as we ride along/' iaid I. "Xo, bi'm blowed hif I do, thought" he whispered^^intly. And making a bolt for ^e fore-end of the car, he disap||MNike a rocket, leaving me aloiii in my glory. An old fellow sitting opposite had overheard and seen enough to understand it all. Beachhig over he offered his hand. "Icongratolateyon, (^,"saidhe. ' , I thanked him, of course, and turned away, leaving him shak- ing his Ikt belly over the affair. I read, observed, and slept all undisturbed until the train stopped at Ponghkeepcyie, w|ere a new neighbor came in and occupied the seat thsj^ mi^i^htened the cockney ont of. He appeared to be a nnjier or some relation to one, and until the train started he was bobbmf this way and that, evidently trying to see somebody to whom he could nod and say good-by to. He was about fifty years of age ; long hair and nose, little bine eyes, and a blow to his nose ; old fashioned clothes and sub- stantial boots, which encased substantial feet. I SOifoely noticed him at first, but amused myself watching those who iock advantage of the ten mmntes wait to procure refreshments. Did yon ever notice it, reader ? And did it amuse you? To my ihfaikhig it is one of the funniest sights in the world. No sooner doM the train come to a halt and the announcement is made, "Ten minutes for refreshments," then a grand rush takes pkce ibr the Innch counter. The old stGgers take it calmly ; order what they want, gauge themselves as to time exactly in eating it, and return to their seats jnst in time, while others jrab up the first thing eatable they can lay their hands on, and bolt it like an ostrich. They ■"■''•^'liir'^ ■VMiMavwnaiBHIpi ■■«■■ WIPimBIHBil mmm A TRIP TO NIAOARA FALLS. 13 The KEPKESBSTATtm ntOM FouoHXKcni& • \, 14 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALIJ9. choke themselyes with sandwiches, si»ld themselves with hot coffee ; danb themselves in various way^ ; ycxi at the waiters for what they want, then yell at them to take the pay, after which they rash back to the train as thongh they had but a minute to save their bacon in, instead of being in the!" seats certainly eight minutes before the train starts, for sensible folks to laugh over. And others rush around, ordering from every waiter within hearing, bobbing in to the line here and there, and perhaps get so nervous and panicky that they rush out after all without getting a bite. Such people need a whole hour, the same as mechanics have for eating their dinners. And any refreshment provider at depots will tell you that many artiiil dodgers flock to their counters from every train. Some of them to eat quick and get out quick without paying, and otherp to linger until the bell rings, and then bolt out, leav- ing the porprietbr "out'' also. These characters, togetlier with those who attempt to take a hasty lunch to their female companions; who get ttn»ted; stumble over somebody or their own feet ; spill their coffee, or step on the cake ; who frighten the ladies out of their appetites, for fear they wiU not have time to get back with the dishes. One mail of this description attracted my especial attention on this occasion. He was dreadfully nervous, and his lady friend seemed to be very hungry. He hesitated a minute or two after the train stopped, as if to assure himself that he had time enough before it started again, or to see if the others got back in time. Fmally he ventured off and nervously entered the depot refresh- ment room. • Once in here, seconds seemed like minutes, and it seemed as thot^h twenty-five or thirty of them elapsed before he got his coffee and cake. Then he spilled more than half of it bumping against people before he got back into the car. A mischievous news boy had "taken him in," and watching fl' (1 mmmmm HiPP— ""^ mm wmm 16 A TRIP TO NIAOABA FALLS. \f BBDiaiira BKntBHimin ibto th> oabs. Axawn ok all bahdb. PPIMPPI •""Viliiljpp 'P^W A TBI? TO VIAOABA FALU. 17 mitil the lady had taken a sip or two of the coffee and a month- M of cake, he got under the car window and called oat, "All aboard!" "Oh, lord, 'Manda, the cars are going 1 Quick! I — ^I — ^what shall we do?" he cried, and seizing the tray he thrust coffee, dishes and cake out of the window upon the platform, and wildly called upon some one to return them to the owner. The train didn't start for four minutes afterwards, and a sicker looking chap than he was, when that owner entered the car and demanded pay for his crockery, was never seen in the world. "Axx. ABOi^o) I" — ^Itb oraoi moa x nibtoub fasbbkoib. mm mp ■"""^^ A TBI? TO nAOARA TAUA. 17 nntil the lady had taken a sip or two of the coffee and a month- fill of cake, he got under the car window and called ont, "All aboard!" "Oh, lord, 'Manda, the can are going! i^nick! I— I— what shall we do?" he cried, and seizing the tray he thmst coffee, dishes and cake out of the window upon the phitform, and wildly called upon some one to return them to the owner. The train didn't start for four minutes afterwards, and a sicker looking chap than he was, when that owner entered the car and demanded pay for his crockery, was neyer seen in the world. f IWJi^W'lPI*'!! U JM I I'll JIIJ.PIIIPI 'mm 10 ▲ TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. Well, away we went at last, just on time, with ev<^rybody on board. A new engine had taken the train, and it was evident that both engineer and engine were feeling fine, for in less than five minutes we were being snaked along at the rate of a mile a minute. My new vis-o-trw, the Poughkeepsie addition, who, by the way, saw no one to say good-by to, began to open the lids of his optics. In fact, iliey opened just in proportion to the increase of speed, until at length they looked like inflamed hard-boiled dggs. He clung to his chair and divided his attention between the f ^;inning scenery, telegraph poles, etc., and watching the other passengers, evidently ready to scream whenever taey did. But every]|o% elM M^ed to be contented and happy. Some were even i|idii]g£Rg in naps. This puzzled him, and turn- ing to me he s#d: V , "Great GMt ^ "Goin'son^»||efr " Going? Oh, hafe w« started aga^f f I mM. ; "Started! (threat 't^t^ogs ! Oh»,yonYe joking. Look at that! Why, Mister, we must be kitin' at the i»te often miles an hour." , V "Ten miles? Why, we are doing seventy miles an Hiemt now. But never mind, the engineer will get out pn a plain seetion soon and bounce us at the rate of a hundred miles an hour," I said, as though condoning for our slow rate. "What! Faster than this?" heexclaimed, trying to stand up. " Oh, certainty, and I shaill be glad. I hate this slow pace." " Slow! Mile a minit slow! Merciftd goodness, I — I — should call this putty fast." "Well, yes, a trifle better than a stage coach." * \' ■«fliilWiBW»i»^pPiWIIBIiP«ipWIWfpilPWpipW5|?^ W^'lPi "I J"1' ^"IV"imi Si- ' A TRIP TO NUOARA FALLS. 19 "Say, yon, Mister, s'posin' we should run off?" he asked, in great excitemont. "Off? Off where?" "Off the track." "Oh, that's only an every-day occorrence. Bat I suppose your life is insured ?" '^ "In— what?" "Insured — probably got twenty or thirty thousai^d on it for this trip." "I don't understand you, Mister." " What ! you don't pretend to tell me that you are on board this train without having your life insured?" "No — ^I — is there any danger?" "Danger I Got any family ?" "Oh, Lordy, yes, Going up ter AitMmy now tu meet 'em," he moaned. "And no insurance on your life for their benefit in case you are found in fragments! Well, some men are too simple to travel anyway," said I, turning away as ichough dic^pwted. It was cruel, but I could not help ei^oying the old fellow's dis- comfiture. He attempted to stand on Jiis feet, swaying his arms as if protesting against the high rate of speed ; but the sway of the car toppled him over and tears filled his eyes. I pretended to sleepf but still watched him, and finally he rummaged through an old carpet hag and fished out a Testament, which he read very nervously. "I say. Mister, it's downright wicked to run these ere keers so fiust as this. S'posin' anything sh> >uld happen ?" "Well, the company is rich and can stand it," said I. "Wal, by gracious, you take it cool." ' "Yes. Used to it." "Did you ever get run off? ' 20 ▲ TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. "Oh, often. Nothing when you get used to it." " How about gettin' mashed all ter pieces?" " Well, you don't mind that either." "The deuce you don't!" "After being scattered along the track a few times and picked up in a basket, you rather like it. Nothing like making yourself at home, you know. Traveled much?" "Much! Mister, this is the ftut time I was ever on the keers in my life." "Well, you may get through all right. Every train don't meet with an accident." He seemed to breath more freely, and presently the train slackened up a trifle, and bis fiuse grew radiant. I really enjoyed a short nap before he got worked up again. A sudden aj^lication of the air-brakes was what woke us both up. Some inadvertance of the man at a switch-station presented a trifling danger and the train was stopped within its length, pitching several out of their chairs. Happeninig to be riding backwards I was not inconvenienced ; but in turning around I saw my Ponghkeepsie friend on the floor with his legs branching out in different directions. "Oh! oh! Help! help! Oh, Maria, Maria!" he was moaning. Two or three passengers assisted him to his feet. "Oh, Lord ! oh, Lord! Are we smashed? Am I bleeding any- where?" he asked. "Nonsense, you are all right," said one of the men who had assisted him. "You are more frightened than hurt," said the other. "Nobody killed?" he continued, wildly. • By this time the train was again in motion. "Say, you ; what was it?" he asked of me. "Oh, nothing; only stopped to take in coal." ,/ \:r wm A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALM. 2.t Kr Tn BfvioT or a mjwm nor maa m Poooi TKXKD. "Goal! Gracious goodness, I thought we was all gone ter kingdom come. Du thej alius take in coal that way?" •'Always, when they are in a hurry." "My! Mister, you may think this kind er travel is all K But it's enermost too suddent for me. I shall come back in the steamboat ; this is all I keer for. Never thought I should hanker arter it much anyhow, an' now I know I don't." "Oh, you'd feel diflferently if you had a few thousand acci- dent policy in your pocket. As for me, I have a twenty thousand dollar policy and travel to please my wife." 1 22 A TRIP TO NIAGARA- FALLS. * I- "You don't say so!" I bowed earnestly. "An'ifyougetbust— " "She will be solid. But I must sleep now, for I am subject to insane spells if I do uot get the requisite amount of sleep, and then I am apt to shoot or cut with my dagger. Only let me have sleep enough, and I am all right." He looked at me a moment with his boiled-egg eyes ana sub- sided as I fell into a dose. I was not bothered by him any more, for he evidently took me for a maniac and an additional danger to the eidstance of a traveller. V, ,y 4JA ^' > IjOVUCD TO SLEKP BT THS MOnON OF THB CAB. XJkADCLTEBATKD HAIPINBBB. ■I ^ ^ » A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 23 I awoke as the train drew up in Albany. But my Pough- keepsie friend had left. He drew away carefully as the trains slowed up, and by the time it stopped and I awoke, he was on the platform and out of danger. But T am sure he will never travel by rail again. Just before leaving Albany, a lady appropriated the seat he had occupied, and I felt happy. I had not seen her face, but being dressed fashionably I took it for granted she was beautilfiil, as every gallant man is bound to do. Soon after starting, however, she xaised her veil, and I was vouchsafed a glimpse at her face. It was not a bad-looking face, although I had seen those younger by at least thirty-five years. She turned on me a glance intended to conquer, but it glanced off somewhat, and I still lived. But hat does a railroad or steamboat trip amount to if one can not get up a flirtation? What is life without some such pep- per and onions? Just to kill time I resolved to look killing and see how it effected her. We exchanged several glances, for her very expression seemed to say, "Please exchange." "Beautiful day," I at length ventured to say. "Yes, delightful," she replied. "The country is looking magnificent." "Lovely. Nature seems to smile with pride in her emerald wardrobe, and like a coquettish maiden, she tempts us to woo her." Oh Lord ! She was a poetess ! "You are eloquently correct," said L "Do you love nature?" "Oh, I worship her in every shape." "How nice! I love to meet with such people. One enjoys travel so much more, I am a blind worshipper at the shrine of nature. Where she roars in the thunder tones of the tornado, 24 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. where she sparkles in the dew drow, or ripples over the heart in bird songs, there I kneel!" " What heaven to possess snch a heart! I should judge that you might give yent to your feelings in the measured melody of rhyme," said i. "Oh, I have often done so, I am a contributor to several literary publications." "Delighted to hear it, I should believe it without your say- ing so. There is a poetic sheen hanging Ov'er you that can not be misunderstood." I was bound to create a seni^tion under her corsets, some- how. Just then a train boy placed a copy of Wild Oats in my lap. "Do you admire humor?" 1 asked. "Only the most exquisite and fine pointed. No, my nature is so finely drawn that only poetry seems to vibrate the tissues of my heart." Oh, those tissues! "And poetry begets love." "Yes, that higher, better love," she sighed, with a left handed glance at me. "Snch a love as I have always sighed for." > "And have you never found such a love?" "I have seen others in the enjoyment of it. But I have l ever enjoyed it myself, alas!" From that speech the coast was clear, I wished afterwards that I had not made it, for she dosed me with poetry enough to ruin the Waverly Magazine. • Fortunately she was going no far- ther than Syracuse, and by the time we arrived there, we had exchanged cards, (I had given her one of a well known merchant that I chanced to have in my pocket,) and with some tender s >- A TRIP TO NIAGARA PALLS. 26 S ^^ fV, ^.,-i^ A LITTLS BOUAMcnB AND FUBTATIOIT B7 THB WAT. — I ENC0€1«TEB A OUaHINa, 70m/o SPIRIT. "Tho thweetI" i h 26 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. TOWS we had fwoni to become better acquainted, with a view to matrhnoDy. She was to write first. I here publicly aak that merchant's pardon, for her writing first made a liUle torrid zone in his household which I am to blame for. On, on we flew ; sometimes faster than the wind, and at other times ihiter than the canal boats along the route. My fellow passengers had by this time got ngly and sleepy, and at Roches- ter we all got ont for a good square meal. After this the run to NiagBS« Falls wm made with mudi more pleasure and comfort. m it^HO l\ttW^ ] BXTH^J AaMlfML AT NutfASA FaLU. GoaO TBBOUOH TBI PBOOBBB OV "BoOKIVa." ^wm^ m^ , 1. i V-.' . ^' t--/ <^r» ■ ( J A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 27 It was dark wl^en we arrived there, and tired, dirty, dis- gasted and sleepy, we all sought baths, suppers, beds, and tran- sient forgetfulness, reserving until the morrow our visit to the Falls whose thunderous roar even now greeted our ears. I stopped at the International, and after the day's rocking, whirling, shaking, and dusting, I slept well. The following morning I awoke cl«3«/^ and refreshed, although not early enough to see anything before breakfast. But I could afford to bide my tip e ; and so I buy'd my grub and a pair of cigars, after which I purchased an Indian cane, and started out to ape the sights. I soon learned that everjrthing at Niagara Falls is Indian, although why this should be so I found no one who could tell me. But the roar of those fallf was in my ears and I rushed un- heeding past the Indian dubs who seemed to own every store and peanut stand. Having provided myself with a pocketfhll of twenty-five and fifty cent stamps, I soon found them to be exceedingly handy to have, for everything has its price there, and not unfrequently more. At the entrance to Prospect Park I paid my first half dollar and soon saw my money's worth, for this gives you one of the "finest views to be had from the American side. But here at last I stood in the thundering presence qf incom- parable Niagara. How shall I describe it, or, rather, my feelings at first beholding it? I felt as probably hundreds of others have felt, that the first sight of the Rapids and Falls was not satisft^ctory somehow. This is owing undoubtedly to all that has been said, written, drawn, and painted on the subject. But after a few moments' contemplation, their vastness and wonderfiil proportions grad- M*muw mmMaaxmm ^m ^-* I I A TRIP TO NIAGARA. FALIJ3. 20 nally interest you, gradually dwarf you until you feel about the size of a Kansas grasshopper. Tou are gradually overoome, so to put it. The wild, head- long, seething, foaming waters that fret themse^^es oyer the stoney declivities of the Rapids ; hissing at gnarled obstructions; impatient at delay, seemingly ; gurgling and bounding as their momentum increases, and, finally, plunging like a'yengeftd sea of glass over the high pirecepioe, down, down, breaking into rainbow thrones as it goes, one hundred and sixty "(^et below, stunned into snowy foam — and there roaring, whirling, splashing, boil- ing, like the angry cauldron of a mighty god I A fellow is bound to get poetic over the subject in spite of himself. I was contemplating in review, having gone back several rods for the purpose of taking it all in again before going any further, and was gazing at the Bapids between Prospect Park and Ooat Island, (and mentally threatening a world, that had always used me well enough, with a thousand-line poem,) when a man", evidently a Westerner, touched me on the arm. "Say, you, stranger, what's this?" he asked, pointing to the Bapids before us. ; " The Bapids," I replied. "Before or arter the tumble?" "Before." "Wal, whar does she dive?" Feeling poetic at the time, I was of course shocked at the fellow's flippancy. But mastering my emotion, I pointed him to the lower end of the Park, and he crept towards it with evident awe, and to complete his punishment, I afterwards saw him in the hands of a hackman. Going back again to the extreme point of the Park, the scene was grander, mightier than before ; the mightiest and grandest 30 A TBIP TO NIAOARA FALLS. Vnew or thb Tjojm mx a BraammLB son or vaa boil. "Gbuur Oobh I" ■ — ■ ■ ■ I . . .1 ■ ■ I ■ . ... - I .. I , ■ . , ■ I I -■ # I. ..I ■ I ■ ■!■ ■ II. ■ Yoachsafed to mortal eyes! Looking at it with the eye of an engineer, there I beheld power enongh, coula it be curbed and utilized, to turn all the machuiery in the world. Then looking at it with an artist's eye, I could immortalize myself by trans- ferring it to canvas ; as a poet, I could astonish the world with a description of it. — Common sense coming to my rescue, (together with the memory of other attempts,) saved me and the poor public. The manner in which a sight of the Falls affects different be- holders is quite as varied as the number of people who visit f 82 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. them. Some are awe-strack, some enraptured, some frightened, and others struck dumb, this being the best stroke of .the lot in most oases. We stood at this point, gadng doiHi into the snow^ abyss of broken waters ; vieiring also thei green river below, the Cana- dian shore opposite, the extreme point of Goat Island, and the Horse Shoe Falls, drinking deep at the wholesale source of in- spiration, when an old lady punched me in the ribs with her umbrella. "DreflU, am't it?" said she, motioning towards the Falls. "Very huge, madam," I replied. "Dreflhl!" she sighed again. "But there's one thing I've got agin General Soott," she added, shaking^her folded awning over at Canada. I looked at her in wonder, thinking what the glorious old hero, whose first laurels were won just opposite, could have done to deserve her enmity. " Madam, I M to understand you," I said. " Wal, what I'm down on General Scott for is this, while he war about it, why didn't he jist lick Canada out o' the other half of these ere water-works? He might ha' done it Jist as well as not— jist as well. Now that's why my Ebeneaer, my husband, hever* voted for Scott for President, an' if he's put up forty times, he'll never vote for him. Only tliink o' he'?> Udken them at Lundy's Lane, an' not gobblin' t* is feak o' natare!" "Madam, General Scott will probably never run for Presi- dent again," said I. "Wal, he'd better not, that's «11." "Madam, General Soott is dead." "Dead! Wal, in that case I forgive him. He more'n likely sees his mistake now. But let that pass, I'm here for fim. Tou seem to be a putty nice sort of a man, an' so I don't mind tellin' V ^m •.■ " «9Pinpiim««"^""^^M^iPiiPP«ii9P^iiiMipMVi . ' 84 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. ye. This is my darter Jane," she said, presenting a bashhil, comfed maiden. I let go a city bow, " We're seein' all we can for our money. Jane's goin' ter get married in 'boat a month, an — " ^ "Law, mother, how yon do go on!" blushed and spoke the comfed maiden. " Bah : This man am't no fool. .Guess he knows what gittin' married is. He knows that a woman 's got ter see what she can afore she gets married, for the goodness kno vs she'll never get a chance arterwards." l! SALtm TBI voqoMOKmB laihe's ''naon jAxa." ^r ▲ TRIP TO NIAGARA WAUM, 85 "Oh, oome along, mother I" And after some protwtingand energetic whispering they withdraw and left me alone. Again I was drawn to the Falls ; again did I begin to snp in poetic grandeur ; once more the poem I should write flashed athwart my mind in suggestive stanzas. At the present writing I have no means lOf knowing how fiir I might have gone with that poem, when fortunately, perhaps, a well-dressed man pulled my Pegasus by the tail. "I say, my dear sir, is this the Niagara fWls?" he asked. He IV as evidently an English tourist. "Yes sir, these are the Falls of Niagara." He turned to his companion and they both looked at the sight with evident i difference. "Blarsted 'umbug, sir; that's my hopinion, sir," said he, at length, turning to me again. "Sir!" " Why, my dear fella, we 'ave plenty of such little dashes as this at 'ome, you know." "Oh I dare say you have," said I, willing to humor his vanity. "But there is one curiosity that we have in America that you cannot possibly have in England." "Hand what is that? ' he asked, with some interest. "The Mammoth Gave of Kentucky." "Hand why not?" . "Because your blarsted tight little island is not large enough to fonish a cover for it." " Oh, 'umbug!" was his impatient reply. " But I dare say, these falls would look better to you from across the river," I added. "Why so?" "Because that is Her Majesty's Dominion over there." "Oh, well, I dare say. Come, Tom, we are very near 'ome ; """WI^BiPli^pP*" 86 A TBIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. Just across the bridge, joji know. I say, sir, his that han Hamerican bridge ?" he added, as he was about to tarn away. "Oh, no, my dear sir ; built ^,f holly by the English. Every- thing you see around here that amounts to anything was built by the English," I replied. "Oh, I dare say. Come, Tom," and away they went, again tearing me to my poetic meditations. But somehow or other, it seemed as though nature had ordained me for a guide post or directory, for in less than live minutes au Irishman tackled me. "Be gorra, but that's big!" said he, drawing himself vty and evidently taking it all in. I bowed acquiescence. "Are they the biggest in the wourld?" "They are." "An' can they stop 'em?" "No." "Tlv:^n fut good are they?" I gave it up and turned away to continue my draughts of inspiration. There were visitors of all kinds there by this time ; the coarse and stolid ; sensitive and poetic, (my kind;) flighty and matter-of-fact; and they were all commenting on the grandeur before them, expressing themselves as they were impressed, (the half of which would fill a volume;) and while I stood facing the Bapids just above the Falls, a tall, homespun Yan!iee ap- proached me. . " I f*y, you, mister, them are Niagr> don't 'mount tu much arter all, du they ?" ss'u he. "Grand, sir, grand! Wonderful beyond expression." "Git out! Why, we've got falls down in Maine that lay % ^ ^ ■C ■r-f \/^ ■ c 38 ▲ TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. right over them thar," he said, pointing to the Bapids, and evidently mistaking them for the Falls. "Do yon think so ?" I asked, snuling. "Clean way over. Why, I don't see anything 'hont them to get highsty over." "Come this way," I said, taking him by the arm and leading him down to the lower end of Ih") Park where the whole scene flashed at once upon the sight. "How about that?" The Tuikee's lower jaw dropped in an instant and his eye- balls b^ah to protrude like peeled Qopions. He stood like one lost in amazement for at least a minute before he could find his tongue. "Thunder an' wampum! By the great homespun! (}reat Jeric^io ! I— I say, you, mister, them's a drefiul powerfhl squirt, arn'tthey?" / I nodded my agreement with him on the subject. "Gracious Ann! Why, mister, I thort them thare rufQes above thare war the Falls. By the great jumping jack, but them's awfhl. Why in thunder hadn't I brung Nancy along, an 'stonished her? Bi^est in the world, am't they?" he asked, at length. "They are indeed, although there was an Englishman here a moment since who said they had larger in England." "An Englishman? One of them chaps what we wholloped inter the BcTolution ?" he asked, earnestly. " 0!ko of that very kind ; one of the same fellows." ' ' Thunder an' pitch ! whar's he gone ?" he yelled, spanking his big fists together. "Show him tn me. I ken lick the goose, grease out o' him iu three minutes by the clock ; whar's he gone?" I took particular pains to dhow him the road the Englishmen had taken, and to describe their dress and general appearence. And I had the satis&ctioo to learn the next day that Yank had «v •> smmw .V ■> A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLJ3. 39 "Slow mu xa MB 1 I um uok tbb ooobb OBBin our 6' him in tbbbi MlMU'iW ST m 'OKjOOK 1" found his men, and made his boast good by thrashing both of the Brittishers, and that all three of them were locked up by the authorities of Drummondsyille for engaging in an American rough and tumble ai^ument. Thus do we get even with our enemies. Well, after doing the Park, getting my picture taken by an enterprising photographer, who assured me that my face would thereby be handed down to a happy posterity, I went down the inclined plane to the river below, where by subsidizing a boatman I was enabled to take in more than I had seen before. wBSSSmSSSSi 40 A HUP TO NIAGARA FALLS. The Boene from the rirer, looking up at the Suspension Bridge, at the Bridal Teil, the whole sea of thundering waters that leap oyer the high table-rock, the eddying, subdued currents, and up at the hig^ti abore, the scene is more awe-inspiring than from any other point. Yww or «n Vamim, rmm thb Oanadux bhobi; opposinB Goat TsLAjm. Back Again, through the Park, over the bridge that spans the Bapids to Goat Ishind, there to see the sights and gain morj ingpiration than can be gained from any other point about the Pallt. -^ — J A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 41 Goat Island is a perfect park ; one of the most delightful spots in the world. The first object of interest to visit was the Cave of the Winds. This is one of the sensational features of the place, and next to going over the Falls it is the most so. I didn't go over the Falls, . A VAPOB-BATH Or HUOS DWEMSIOm.— GrOHia TO THB " CaTX OF THB WraDS." but allowed myself to be taken in by the Cave of the Winds, and was amply repaid for so doing. Why, a visit beneath this over- pouring sea is better than a hard-shell sermon or a confessional. There was never a person who visited this cave who did not ITWIWIWfWW 42 A TRIP TO NIAQARA FALLS. promise to do better in the future — at least that portion of the ihture embraced in getting out of the place. But such a shower bath as one can get there from the mighty mists which rise up between the sheet of water and the rocky wall ; such a peel from nature's double, bass orgian pipe — so insignificant does it make one feel, that one is inclined to wish that several people in the world could be there, that their bump of self esteem might get moistened. Polite guides furnish you with flannel suits, and show you how to "do" the place, and those who &il to take in this feature will only see the surface of Niagara Fal^. Luna Island is one of the most romantic spots imaginable. Joined to the main island by a bridge, under which the angry waters rush ; surrounded on all sides by the Bapids, and stan- ding right on the brink of the precipice over which the torrents tumble, it really possesses greater attractions for the tourist than most any other locality. > There were quite a number of visitors there before me, and next to the surrounding grandeur many of them interested me very much, for as usual they were of all kinds and degrees. "Perfectly lovely!" whispers a poetic Miss. " Charming," replies her soft oavalier. " Wonderftil !" cries a pious old dame. "The Lord is mighty and will prevail," says her husband, who can think of no other !s •^r , i> ▲ TUP TO VIAOAKA FALLB. 45 Ax \xasa. Ihduh : — "Fat Mahout u a sabmbd liab, n oobI" bering his stock in trade, he stopped and shook his fist at me a moment, and then returned. But it spoiled his day's business, for he got so mad that he could'nt speak in any but an Irish in- tx)nation until after he had enjoyed a night's sleep. I can get along tolerably well with an American Indian, but the Irish Lo's are too much for me. My next visit was down the Stairs, leading out to a point nearest the Canadian Shore, where a mt^ificent view of the Horseshoe Falls is to be had. If possible, there is more grandeur visible from this point than from any other. To the left, as far 46 A TRIP TO NIAOA&A VALLB. as the^ye can see, the great river comes tumbling and tearing down the long, rough incline that creates the Bapids, and hurry- ing on with resistless power attains a Telocity of thirty miles an hour, when it reaches the edge of the precipice over which it plunges. A fellow don't feel larger than a mouse, while contem- plating the scene. From this point a trip to tne Sister Islands is next in order ; three beautifhl, romantic islets, connected by suspension bridges, and standing there tree-veiled and adamant in the midst Oi the maddened waters. "A. view can be had that delights, es- pecially a temperance man. After " doing " these romantic " Sisters," I took a turn back- wards, recrossed the bridge and was soon at the hotel again where dinner and refreshment awaited me. In the afternoon I set out for the Canadian side, to see what was to be seen from there ; resolved on doing, while in Canada, as Canadians did, although I lived to take back that resolution so far as it's being applicable to the transactions of life. For one dollar the tall keeper allowed me to walk over the narrow suspension bridge. But it was money well invested, for the view from the bridge is overwhelming almost. The Falls to the left, including both the American and Canadian ; the waters of ihe river below, streaked and flecked with foam from the recent plunge, still without rest, whirling in a thousand' eddies, and slowly moving along towards the whirlpool some two miles below. And yet still closer, to the right, the Bridal Veil (or veils) — two thin, gauzy sheets of wp.ter which fly over the preci- pice bne hundred and fifty feet high, spreading out indeed like a bridal veil which fairies might have fashioned in imitation of the supreme work of Nature farther up. Here, suspended in mid air, one can see enough almost for a lifetime ; and just here it is that one can understand why it is k' •\. \ _ •w k' A TRIP TO NIAOARA FALU. 47 that no brash or pen has ever yet presented Niagara tmthftillj, and never will. Genius is paralyzed before the subject. Along over the narrow bridge I walked, drinking in of the grandeur on every side, and finally set foot on Her Gracious Mi^esty's soil, Canada. Said soil being exceedingly pulpy, at the ,Tmt SuBPKNsioK BioDcn, tbb oms bpamiono the BXvaB vMsgm thb Fiuxs. time, I had no difficulty in putting my foot into it almost deep enough to take root. A mild-eyed hackman approached me. I was a fly and knew it ; he was the spider with that same old song. " Will you step 48 A TRIP TO NIAOARA FALLS. into my little carriage ?" But haying heard sach horrible Btorios regarding these fellows, I resolved to misuse them by using my feet "Ck>t a nice Carriage here, sir," said he. "I am glad to hear it, my dear sir," I replied, at the same time moving on. But he followed. " Take you all around cheap, sir." "Cheaper than I shall feel if I walk?" ' "No, sir," he replied, laughing, and the very fact of his seeing one of my jokes made me feel friendly towards nim right away. I only wanted a little urging to throw myself into his car- riage for him to do with as he should see fit "Take you to the Falls; Lundy's Lane, Burning Spring, Whirlpool, and bring yon back for one dollar." "What!" "One dollar." "Do yon mean it? No extra'R?" I asked, utterly unable to comprehend the statement " None, only tolls." ••Say it all over again!" He repeated his proposition. " Take me," was all I could say, and he took me in, remark- ing as he did so that he was not a whit moved by my surprise, for it was only natural after the slanderous stories that had been circulated regarding their exorbitant charges. But truth was gradually getting the best of the matter, and one by one he was convincing visitors that the Niagara Falls hackmen were honest, moderate men, earning their bread by the sweat of their horses. He first drove to the Falls. A hotel stands there, and a mild-mannered landlord threw open the carriage door as it came to a standstill, and told me to walk ri|;ht up stairs for the finest view, and assuring me at the same time that there was no iom giyen, yet I most say that he was as &r ahead of the New York hackmen in point of honesty, as they are ahead of politicians and lawyers. At the toll-house I parted with him, making a neat little speech to grace the occasion. "Dear sir," said I, "yoa have both delighted and surprised me. I am convinced that you are a maligned and much abused class. Here is your LTMiest dollar. I would make it more, only I wish' to have the truth on my side when I reach the other side, and be able to astonish the world with my experience while in your hands." He removed his hat and bowed so low that his nose got caught in his boot>straps. Then he proceeded to say : " Dear sir ; you look honest and intelligent enough to be an editor. Indeed, you may be, for aught I know. But if you are, and you would help unload a burden from the shoulders of a much-abused class, speak then, vfrite then in behalf of the hack- men of Niagara Falls. We have not earned the reputation which we now have ; it has been thrust upon us by cheap wits, jokers, men who wished to say something regarding their visit and couldn't trust themselves to attack the Falls, and so took something nearer their own social and mental level." "Sir, you should have been a member of the Canadian Par- liament. Your eloquence should be expended for the public good." He smiled and bowed, evidently delighted that one man had discovered his ability. " Why, my dear sir," I continued, " were you a citizen of the United States we should at least make an Alderman of you." He bowed again. But I afterwards learned that he had been a citizen of this free and expansive land, but that certain irregu- larities regarding the possession of a horse made it more desira- ble for him to continue to do his good work in Canada. < A TRIP TO NIAGARA TAIia. 53 Tn WAT A MAX n UABLX TO OR LOADID DOWN WITH InDUII 0DBI0SITII% IT URBIi TO AIX TBI BIBKNB WHO HMET HO PATH. 64 A TRIP TO NIAOAIU. FALLS. '* He looked at that "honest dollar " again and turned it over, bat he oonldn't make two of it, and somehow looked disap- pointed. Bat we parted the best of friends, although he would undoubt- edly have taken an extra dollar, and allowed me to lie to the public regeirding the transaction. But we are all human. X retamed to the United States, but scarcely had I set heel in the bally soil again before another jehu sought to convince roe that I had been in the hands of novices, and had as yet seen nothing of the glories of Niagara. I calmly took a Colt flrom my pocket, and he whipped away his horses. Once more in Prospect Park I took a seat, for the purpose of taking a review of all I had deen during the day. It was sunset ; glory npon glory 1 I was tired, and fain would have allowed my soal to loaf and grow hi, but the stirring sensations of the day had set me all on wires. I was about reverting to that contemplated poem again when a country minister approached me. He seemed to want somebody to talk to. Was overflowing, so to speak, and didn't know what to do with the surplus. ''What awfttl grandeur!" he began. "What wild and con- dnsive tremendoosness!" Oh, be "had 'em," I could see that well enough. " Oh, how puny and insignificant appear the works of man, when contrasted with all we now see before us. What shall we say ; how express ourselves ; where find a place that is low enough for us to crouch in, in order to look up and render due homage?" "Siri" said I, as though uncertain of what he was driving at. " How ean we express ourselves?" " lilive it up,'' was all I could say. That overflowing preacher looked at me a moment, first with surprise, and then disgust in his face, and his bubbling imme- . - i . A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 55 Anothkb uFBnBioK: "What xwwuh OBAinnim! What ooholcrivh tbh- mvwiPPiiHi 66 A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. diately sabsided. He went right away, and before this has donbtless boilt a sermon on my stapid indifference. I went to the brink to look npon the cataract in the glowing twili^t. Everything was tinged with color and beanty. The mists rose up like the tinted curtains before the bed of a goddess, and the last rays of the son had parted with the Falls and lingered with a rosy good-night on 'the islands and the Rapids above. Of all hoars of the day, twilight sits the most lovingly on Niagara. The wwld wil^ never know what an escape it had just at this point, for I went so far while tinder the inspiration of this twi- light hoar as to note down th^ leading features of uy thoasand- line poem. Tes, on a stray sheet of piiper that I fonnd in my pocket I blocked the work all oat in penidl, and just as I had noted down the climax that was to eleoti^ the world, a gust of wind blew it from my hand, and away ii w«nt into the river. I didn^t follow it, and my boot ftiends have since congratu- lated me on my forbearance. Daring my visit ( had encountered many newly, married people, and at this moment there were several of them standing near me. And— oh, they were so soft, and gushed sol And how they murmured Byron, Moore, and Shakspere. It was very effecting. " O, Geoi^e, how lovely!" exuberated a fond new wife on my right, glancing np into her husband's face. " Tes, Evelina, it is beautiful; almost as beaatifhl as you are, Birdy," he replied, stooping down to see if her lips tasted any different ffom what they had all along. "So good of you, George, to bring me here. I shall never forget it, never. Gorgeous!" <. 1 _v W y M«k«6p*MM-fc*>Mi- mill J^mnpn ^m iwmiwmmmm^r^ ■ " ' •'^^ommmmt <- ^ \ A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALLS. 57 "How TBux rr la, Bibdt, ibit iatb asjosm oah aid vb to apfbioiatb all THIS." Then they lookeu at each other's eyes and squeezed hands. Oh, it was 80 nice ! "How true it is, Birdy, that love alone can fit us to appre- ciate the grand and beautiful of Nature." "Yes, George. Oh! George, the 'skeeters bite!" she added, flying to his arms for protection. "Did 'em? Well, they ^an't hite my sweet woutsy-pouiay. We'll go back to the housey-pousey." "Oh!" she sighed, and folding his arm around her as thoi^h ipl 68 ▲ TSar TO NIAOAIU FALLS. ' Tbm vavL BOAB or thb Faxab 8XIU. 8oina»D xa mr xan. to keep the mosqtiitoes away, they walked off in the direction of the hotels. Hungry and tired I followed suit, my mind filled with a. con- glomeration of feelings and memories. I had "done" Niagara £^lls, and was abont done for myself. The doll roar still soonded in my ears, even after I had gone to bed, assisting my dreams to be more realistic. I sat np in bed now and then and gazed oat upon the moonlit scene. I had partaken so folly of the subject that I really felt that I had water on the brain, and when a few hours afterwards J ^ '"""V^^RPmifili mmm^i mum mifmmi^mmimmifmmifm ■^^ A TRIP TO NIAGARA FALIik 69 I dreamed of going on an excursion over the Falls, I managed by snperhnman struggles to escape from danger and to roll ,out of bed upon the floor. Then I felt indeed that it was high time for me to get back to New York again, the abode of still waters. But whenever you feel like a change of scene, like taking a spin of a few hundred miles, do as I did ; pack your collar-box and take A Trip to Niagara Falls. THB Bin> \ . mfffmrnfm OOLUN ft SMALL'S LIST OF PUBU0ATION8. Joining the OrangefB. JOINING THE GRANGERS. By Bricktop, illustrated by Worth. 64 pages. 8vo, price 25 cents. ThlsisoB«o(th«JolUMl of kdviatiiMS of • tha Dliutntkios uo wwlh flvo ttaus Vio prios eilitidaa trying to "g«t in" with thoOnngan ofthslook. " Joining thoOnngm'* has aud* r tho pupoMofMrriaghisoonntijr. Ertn s MOMtiotMl hit Farming for Fun ; or, Baclc-Yard Orangers. ' FARMING FOR FUN ; or, BACK-YARD GRANGERS. By Bricktop, iUustrated by Worth. 64 pages, 8vo, price 25 centl Unifoim with "jronmio TBI OaAwme." This thonnnds of those who rwd it will mentally laoghabla Story, tha azparianoaa of Timothy axolaim: "Tra baantharaT Farmars can saa Badd and his wifa at dty gardaninft is ona at how aity paopla imitata tham, and oity fiurmais tha baat wa hara ayar iasaad, whioh is saving oan saa thamaahraa inpoor Bndd, as oxnasssa enough to thoaa who have xaad onr Dablioa- nsK I>ap«ndnponit,itisworth>aading,and tiona^ It is brimful of ftia snd sensation, and as a gnida for amateoT nrmers it is invalnabla. Parson Beeoher and His Horse. P/itSON BEECHER AND HIS HORSE By Bricktop, illustrated by Worth. g6 pages, 8vo, price 25 cents. Ona of tha most soooaasAil books of tha tone and aentimant) yet brimftal of fireah, brU- period. Eighty thousand ocmias sold. "Kur- Uant humor and umghabla aitnationa — tha aon Beeoher aa(d HisHorsa" 1% from beginning antlior olaiming it to be tha best of his many to end, a thoronolily ODjoyaUa book, suitable humorous prodoi " fbr OTary honsanoia, being nnsMsptlanal in Fred Douglass and His Mule. FRED DOUGLASS AND HIS MULE. By Bricktop. 96 pages, Bvo, price 25 cenb. Oompanion to "Fsrson B aae h er and His mi», and beoome quite as popular aa «FBzson Hair:«.* Tha story of Fred Doucdass and his Beeoher and His Horse." The book is printed HideisonaoftitebesthanorousDooksrelatiTe inlaige^ olear type^ and oontains orer thirty to tha war that haaarar been written, being r»> sidewmlitting illustrations by HogpsDiLainr one plate with adTcnturea that will be sura to of whioh is worth tha prioa of tha book. Dont awaken the riribles of arery one who reads it, fUl to read it I and it will undoubtedly baf* quite as large a The Long and the Short of It THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT; or, Thrve Comical Adventures of Two Conrtical Men. 8vo, price 25 cents. niuslrated on ereiy page^ and eT( sparkling with merriment and sideH^iUtttng, pn1 se^lete with eonieal situation^ the whole a of pleasure^ and the ftinnlnst book AUrua : COLUK A SMAJUL, 59 JBeekmon Street, JV. 7. ■■1 V. ^ #>"'^ V- """wfim^ limB»-«w» •"^•"mmmm *^«PfPPiiPPiPI| ^ >- OOUIS M small's UST or PUBUOAnONB. The Trip of the Porgie; or, Taoking up the Hudson. LAUGHING SERIES. BRKXTOP STORIES. No. i The Trip of the Porgie ; or. Tacking up the Hudsoa By Bricktop. ia8 pages, extra octavo, price 25 cents. Worth. TUslkbyfltrtiM b«S sad smmI intaratfag book OT«r writtMi by this gtnlsl, miooMml snthor, sad ho ehkiau it ■■ hia ospeolsl &TOiit«. It is bnbbUng over with ftu uid sontimsnt from tho flnt to the hMtlins^ giTing ponoosl obMTvations snd hiatoriosl nminiaoonoes of flsoes on tho Hndaon Biver, batween Now brk sad Alboar, oad osoh of tho fifty iUtiatm- tioas is worth tho prioo of tho book, moaj of them boing of greof hiatoriool valno. Tho olab of ohoioo troiiito whioh tho author aooompoaloi OB thsir Visit isa snull ons^ it is tnie^ oonsiat' INuttrated by ing of only flva^ oU told, but saoh Isa ohaiaolMr, aad eaoh oatortdaiag la his owa partioQlar way. The PorgU is the aamo of tho yaeht owaed by this olab, aad la whioh thoy make their tri& aad both oa board aad oa shore there la hanu>r, astire^ aad hiatory mixed ia a deliohtftal maaanra The story of that trip is flaianed with a bnrleaaoek aa performed M the <• Staffed Olab" of Albaay, ia tho oapaofy of hoat% aad thia akmo ftualahea aa hows ttd» . apUttiag readlag, aad ia worthy of JohaBnrag- taiua ia ais palaiy daya My Mother-in-law. UUGHING SERIES. BRICKTOP STORIES. No. 2. My Mother-in-law. By Bricktop. Fifty illustrations by Hopkins. illuminated cover, price 25 cents. The raoiest aad moat haaioroaa atorr yet Every nuta and womaa in the oonatry ahonld read thia aerio-ooaiio ezjMrieaoe of a maa with a mother-in-ilaw, who aiade home torrid for him, aad how he anooeeded, alter many atempta aad fitilQre% ia gettiag rid of her. The anthor feds that he has oonflnred a bleariaa oa aoolo- ty. It briatlea with aew poiata aad the aotlon 100 pages. 8vo, ia lively tnm flrat to laat Erea miaiattra. the makera of mothera-in-law, ia.^iune it, aad it will aadoabtedly have aa large a aale aa the other literary hita of the aame author, thia bo> lag tho flrat time he haa ever doae anythiag ia the Shape of miaalonaiy work. Buy it, atndy it, let yonr wife read it, aad, flaally, give it to your motherJa-law. "Them Thar" Grasshoppers. LAUGHING SERIES. BRICKTOP STORIES, No. 3. "Them Thar" Grasshoppers. By Bricktop. Fifty first-class humorous illustra^ons. 8vo, price 25 cents. Bay it, aad thea yon will feel more like ^y- ing "aomethiag" to the "Graaahopper Saner- era." Oorioaity being on tiptoe ia order to leara all that oaa be learned reapeotiagthaaeWeatera peata^ theae wiaged deraatataiia, the aathor took aa artiat with him aad atarted for the flelda of their operatioaa Tho reanlt ia more Oraa*. hopper knowledge— folly illnatrated— than the ooaatry haa e-eroeea favored with before. The book has hopped iato popolarity at graadiopper gait Smith in Search of a Wife. LAUGHING SERIES. BRICKTOP STORIES. No. 4. Smith in Search of a Wife. By Bricktop. Illustrated by Thomas Worth. 25 cents. Bay it, aad leara all about the " Tarmiata" Bay it, and aee tiie aaperb iUuatratioa of the oharaotera interviewed by the aathor. Fiaally, bay it, looaea your atrapa aad bat- tonab and aee thia plagae aa the aathor and theartiataawit 8vo, price Thia atoiy ia not foanded on foot, bat there be read by everybody contemplating tho great lottery of marriage. Laaghably illaatratM by ia ao mach oomioal homan natore in it that trath oooldn't make it any better. It ahoold ma Thomaa Worth. r" 1-, 1^ OOLUN A BMALL'B LIST OF PUBU0ATI0N8. Freemasonry Exposed. FREEMASONRY EXPOSED New and ravited editioa 3a pMgat, 4to. price 25 cants. bjboth Tlw giMiiil Imriiespw hit of tha Jay. Qm- mag. ItwOlba oody and tealhfUlj IDnatoatod, tad wiittM and ba a paaa elat ad by 1 bfla&aaawdlaa I waoB'a wifiiboalt lly "Baiaad" in Naw Tarib Mid. in AmI, no '•ariybalfamiHknoopiaaaold In two yaam thiaaiiMai^aatlMgreaBUMB aaaoanlteflMay OontlUltoNadito* 70a nJai a laalljrgoad thinga thallMTa batea lookad dadb Odd-Fellowship Exposed. OOD-FELLOWSHIP EXPOSED. 3a fwgea, 4to. illuttrated. price as cents. Both Odd and «iiMlUloirataaTapaanonBoad Ona ^nndnd thouand Mdd. Tha thk "aspoai" ona of tha baitihlnflittiafthai tUapowwfUOidarnaTarhaTaboaniuiaMdtad ararooaaaflromthalraaMKnuinrMiolAnatloa, bafcw» and » daaidad aaaaiHcB baa bai otMrt and tally aqnal to •'ItaMBaaoniy Xqpoaad.'* ad by ita apptannaa. 68 pages, 8vo, profusely illustra^ The Knights of Pythias Shown Up. THE KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS SHOWN UP. price 25 cents. Hie xaekat anoafyatl ''Donl uaka any thIaOidar. Macriagaabla yeans kdiaa dumld mMtiu r Ilia KniipblB of Fythiaa aw ban laad it, and bawamad in urn*. Maniad ladlaa Imiilhi! wtthoot ^kutm, by oaa of tbair lata Aonld nad it, and tban thay may ba able to vlotfaa%andtlMTCaattiaananooitbatwUlait aoooont fbr maoh tbat la myatariooa to tbam tba world aoog. It la mod for tboia wbo bava now. It la good far arwybody to r«d, and ban "pot tnnnigh 1" ftisaranbattarfortbota "don't maka any miatakar lUaatrataa iad> idio ooBtamplato Ming "mada" a mambara of botly by HbpUaa. "Put Through." "PUT THROUGH." 64 pages, 4tOb illustratad. price as cents. Bleb, laivieaFen* I Tba wann«t4doodad Berlaed and anlaigad. Bay it fbv Am, tot Lk> book yatl Tba b«ot ilfautratad aipoai of Fiaa* ftmnatiaa, and for aanwtion I Vor flak by and OddMlowsbip arar wzlttaa. Nawaman araiywbaia. Wild Oats Songster. WILD OATS SONGSTER Beautifully illuminatecl cover, lamo. price 35 cents. TUaaongbookiawlthoat doubt the baattbat tha &Torito aingan and abaraotcMuston on tba waa arar oftsiad to tha pabllo. U oontaina atage ; dao aaoiuxiaaii^ naw and markling neariy ana hondrad naw aong% written aapao- oonondnmu, and aMiMmr hita^ the whole laUy for thia book, ilfaiatrated by our oert acmpriring ona of the giaatoit anfl moat flnlah- aitut^ together with eerend flnt-rato aoting ad ooUeMtion of Nngs, eta, erar olfored to tha u» imAiiAB, baajo aot% dialogue loogi, ain- pabllo. aoH abaisiottr and dialaot ecoga from all COLUar A SMAJLL, SB BetHsman Stnv^ K, 7. *N f*^ J- ly ^ ^ y- ■"> V. coLLiir A bmall'b ubt of publioationb. Life in New Yorl(. UFE IN NEW YORK, wo p^(M, 8vo, illuttratod. price 25 cMti. This raperb, hiUMiou book, li In ndltr of high kad low lUii in tho «wl oilj, woithvof two in ootk BMMly, "Ta Whrb Eumn/' OhurlM Dtoknik A jnod liook to mU mm • bjBri^topkUid "KuoD iMTo Ooa» Loa," good book to vMd, oalUBg fbr btoad lloghsiad by John Oaiboy, tho fMrmor • Jovial iton of niBpathttio toMtib npU life in M«w York, Md tho bttM ft plotan "I Told You 80;" or. The Beats and Baits of Society. By "I TOLD YOU SO/ or, THE BEATS AND BAITS OF SOCIETY. Gecrge G. SmalL gi pages, 8vo, richly illuttratod, price 25 cenli Tho joUiMi and moot wtivioftl iuight into iUutntodbroimvMrianni. Ifyeawtntto thoboudiyofhighUfliiniTowTork 7«t pab- «i^JojfthMnjl«agh and hftvoftmnryon lUhad. \i\k*Suk%xXbai%aKfilML^iVkt ftulof nad • doaan timaa and atiU want to faa oomo nmtxum, ofhi CHMUfOOH^ and is agsin, don't fldl to b«j "I Toba Too 8a* The Strange Woman. THE STRANGE WOMAN. By John Cvboy. 96 pages, 8vo, illustrated, price 25 cerrts. TUsiaoaaofthabaatofoarssriosofitociM^ naaly n r awn t sd in tha jaagaa of a noral It ia 1 it is of absorbing in> magniflwantlyiUuitfataaDy to and while not sanattlnnal it is of absorbing in> niMniioantlyiUwiratadby MMiMof onrlaadins tarial^ naliatio in its portrayal of oharactar, artuts in thsir vary b«at atyla. Wa oonuaMna and priss n ts a parfaot piotora tmthftil in its it to tha raadar as a Utarary traat whioh thay oolonng illnstiMiTa 01 a phass of social Ufii willnotftUtoiqnP**Biatai Between the Crusts. BETWEEN THE CRUSTS. Svo, price 25 cents. By John Carboy. One hundred illustrated pages. Thia is one of tha bii^^iaat and most nniqna written, eran miparior to "Kiokad £iito Ckwd rar ban Look;" by tha Mma author. atoriaa of Ufa in Maw Tbrk that haaararl Fi8l(e; or, The Adventures of a Practical Joker FISKE; or, THE ADVENTURES OF A PRACTICAL JOKER 96 pages, Svo, illustrated, price 25 cents. By John Carboy. Nothing aqnal to thia raoord of tha eonna of aptaotiaaljokarhaa arar baan pnbliahad. It ia a parCsct panorama of ftan and JoTlsUiiy. Tha broad hnmor, not onmindad with aatira^ whioh ohaiaotariaa Mr. Fiaka'a raida npon Che tletimsaf hlajokai^ wiUproTsaxoaedlngly aa« tflftaining to all who apprseiato tha oomio aida of Amatioan and Engudi lifSi Bcfdnning at thapariod of hiacnM to tha AraI(ioAo^ nndar tha raolms of tha aldar Baonatt, and dosing with hla dapartora fiinr Enropa in tha funons yaeht itoirMa, Joka fUlows Joka in rapid sao* oeaion, Uka tha diseharma ftomamitraiUenaa. Tha ftmny doings wUott attandad tha (our of tha Prinoa of WaUa thioof^ thia ooontiy, dwv whioh Mr. Fii^ waa tha aocreditod ing) and spaeial repreaentatiTa of tha BmM, and tha in* nnmerabla '•■eUa" infliotad by thia irrepieari- Ua Totaiy of mirth upon, tiia raportars and ooiw raapondanto attanding that fkmooa trip ara all ftitUtallynarratad. Tha book ia aplendidly iUnatiated by soma ofoormoatdalabntadaraati^ and ia printed in tha best stylsi "'"'■"■'■' in'uin'iy^^^wypHWIWWll wmmmmmm mim • OOLUN A SMALL'B LIST OF PUBUOATIONB. •'CaperB." CSAPERS." 04 pagM, 4to, price 25 cents. Twi) bwdftd int^iU illiu^jatioDa. Th«ir be mat wUh in aaj other book in th* aukat, Mwe fRMlar ttoaiber of Jollygoodlftiii^be- and thej btc all new end edspted to the teetea H r — i l P acovtweftMa anpetb book than ate to of the veiy beat raadaia in the world. By Bricktop, Hlusrated by Worth. Humore of the Railroad Kings. HUMORS OF THE RAILROAD KINGS. 4to« prlc« 35 cents. Thii book is apaelallj adapted for railroad The illnatrations are Ant-dtaa and deoidedlj WOdtBiL bsiaga Ofllleetlon of original, authantio homonras, and the whole book is thoronghlj Mid nflMllo tmpabUdied aneodotea of promi- original and eojojaUa ■SBl nllNad man la all parts of the oonntry. The Comioal Medicine Man. THE COMICAL MEDICINE MAN. 64 pages, 4^0, price 25 cents. TwohvadfOdlUastratiana. Thisisnndoabt- od^ttlobost^flMslnioftual/, and artiatioalhr fltaalMtod book of fbo kind avw imed^oiis •evBlnr. XttoBOWla eveij parthndar, filled iHA Mb, btuBMnona raamng matter, and m MMilbam of oomkalaadsMrioalart ia roecially adapted for Bailroad and Steamboat Beading, but ia eqnidly oalonlated for a tuaUj and flnidde aooroe of cntertainmeni It has been the aim of the pabliahers to make it SHpe> rior in every respeot to any book of the kind erer issued in the world. "The Roarer." "THE ROARER." 64 pages, 4to, price 25 cents. Wboai donbt the best quarto Olostrated niboiad and steamboat Joke-book in the market T^ilttoat donbt the best quarto Olostrated Oompimion to the "Oomioal Medidne IDsn.** " ■■ * MaOal ''Peppernint Drops." ^ " PEFfcRMINT DROPS." 64 pages, 4to, price 25 cents. The bast nilioad and steamboat joke-book in Instrationa, with a ohoioe .'wieotian of 6oa mofab ibo BMfksi Oror one hundred fint«kM it storiei^ squibs^ and jolly good reading. COLLnr S SMALL, PvbUslurt, S9 Beekman Street, X, F. %^.^,;;v. fn'^'T-.V ■ libf.^.