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O*., ,f th. r>i.T:ct», Coiirl f« th wat lipg-rsofG Waehin?tnn,i;?n.TayUr, John linn- ytin, Caiit. Kidd unJ Dr. Webster iu the act ot killin Dr I'arkman, bc^ide-i several miicellan- yus moral ^va.t slatoots 0!' celebrated piruts U muri'erers, .<:c, ekalleJ liy low ,t exeolj liy nnnc. Now Mr. Editor, scratch orf a few liiie^ faying how U the show bizniss down to your place. I dhiiU hav my hanbilU dun at your offi,-:s. Depend upon it. I want you should git my hanbillsup in flatEinslile. Alsogitup '-■' a trcnienjus exeitcmunt in yr. paper 'bowt my onparaleld S!iot. Wc mu3t fetch the public aumliow. We must wurk on their feelins. Cum ', 'io m(jral on 'em ?1rong. If ifi a tcmp- 'V bizuijs i:i ire.ii, a Kan- rself to deth ^ runce r mmnr.ily toll 'em I ^iued the pledge fifteen niinits arter Ise place. I born, but on the contery ef your peple tak'i their tods, say Mister ff ard is as Jenial a feller as we ever met, full of conwivir.lity, i the li'e to Solo of the Soshul ni.ei. Take, don't you! If you aay any- I'.,.; aho'.vi my siiow say mv snaiks is as harmlissas thenewl)orn I!**. What a intercstin study it is to geeapt^-ol- ogical animil like a snaik under perfeek sub- jecsl.un I My Kangaroo is the most l.irfible little CUS3 I ever saw. All for 15 cents. I am aniyus to .sekewer your Infloounce. 1 repeet in regard to them banbills that I sliall pit 'em struck arf up to your printing oflice. My per- litercal sentiments agree with yourn e.xiickly. I know Ihay do, Iceawz I never s.iw a i; ::in \\ lioos didn't. Respectively yure.- A. WARD. P, S.— Vou scratch iuy Lack i lie scratch your back. ■U genial a fell r Js ice ev.r met. AXONO IIIJ SHAKSaS. Tl.' .~li,ik. rs i.< ihe .-trangest religious sex I ever met. I d hearn tell of 'en, ii!(l Id seen 'en:, with their broad brim'd hats and long waatid coats: Out Id never cum into imtEejit contack with "cm, and I'd sot 'cm down as l.tkin intelleck, as I'd never ''-en 'em to my Show— .eastwuy.-. if they cum they was Jisgised in white pejile's close, so 1 didn't know 'cm. I!ut in the Spring of 13— , I got swampt in tlie exterior of Xew Ycrk State, one dark and stormy night, when the winds Blue piiwisly, and I wa.^ forced to tie up with the Shakers. I was toilin threw the mud, when in the dim vister of the futer I ob- sarved the gleams of a taller candle. Tiein a hornet's nest to my off boss's tail to kinder encrurage him, 1 soon reached the [jlace, I knockt at the door, which it was opened unto me by a tall, sliek-faccd, solum lookin inJividooal, who turn'd out to be a Elder. " Mr, Shaker," sed I, '■ you see before you a Babe iri the Woods, so to speak, and lie axes shelter of you." " Vay," std the Shaker, ar.d he It ' the way into the house, another Shaker bein sent to put my hos?-s and waggin under kiver. A solum female, lookin sumwhat like a last year's bean-pole stuck in' ) a long ine.il bag, cum in a.id axed me was I athurst and did I huu. !»er? to which 1 urbanely anserd " a few." She went orf and I endev- erd to open a conversashuu with tho old man. " K.lder, I sped?' sed I. " Yay," be sed. •'nelth's good, I reckon ?" '■■ Yay." " What's tiie wagos of a Elic-, wnen he understana his bizness— or ,io you devote your sarvic>3 gratooitus ?" •' Yay." " Stormy night, sir." " Yay.'' " If the storm continners there'll ne a mesa underfoot, hay?" "Yay." " us onpleasant where there's a mes; anderibot?'' " Yay." " If I may be so bold, kind sir, what's the price of that p, 'cooler kind ofwesk ■ voii weir incloodin trimmins .'" " Y.v I i^wsi a minil, and loen, thinkin Id be fuseahui witii him and see how that would go, I sl.ipt him on the shoulder, bust into a harty larf, and to! ! :iim that as a yatjer he had no livin CKal. He ,ji loot upas if Ellin wa.^r had bin squirted into his ears, groaned, r.Iled hp .yes up lords the sealin and sed, " You're a man of sin I " He then w.iikt our of the room. Jest then the female in the rjeal bag stuck her bed into the room and stati.l that refreshments awaited the weary travler, and I sid if it was vitr,, i -he ment the weary tra'-ler was agreeable, and I I'lllere 1 her into til" next room. Isotd'uvr. to the table and the female in the meal bag pored out sum tea. .«he Bed nothin, and for five minutes the only live thing in that room was (\ old wooden clock, which tickt in a subdcod and bash- ful m.iniier in the corner. Thisdetlily stillness made me oncasy, and I determined to talk to the female or bus your rules, I bleeve, marm '" ■• Y.iy." " Tlie sexes liv strickly a[ art, f sped '" " Yay." " Its kinder singler, '' .sez I, putting on my mist sweetest loos and speakin in a winnin voice, " that so fair a made as thou never got hitched to some likely feller." [.V. B.— She was upards of 40 and homely as a stump fence, but I thawt Id tickil her.) " I don't like men !" she sed, very short. " Wall, I dunno," sez I, " they're a rayther important part of the populashun. I don't I scaeely ^ee how we could git alon"' without 'em." " Us poor wimin folks would git along a grate deal better if there was no men I" " You'Da^icoci me, marm. but I don't think thut nir wonld 1»ork- It wonldu't be regler." " I'm fraid of men '." she sed. So sez I, " Jlarrig agm J ^ I'ou ain't in dj daiij Um'l fret " 1 Iml'i oDDccfinaiy, iiuirm yourself on timt |iint." "Mere we're shot out from the sinful worlil. IK' re all i^ n<"a3. Here we air brotliera .inl sisters. We Juu'tmnrry aii^l cmsekfully we h«v no domestic difliciiHies. llusbaiis doi,'t alini.zo their wives — wires don't worrit their hiisbans. There's no cliildren here to worrit us. N"il.in to wornt us here. No wicked matriu]"ny here. Wuiild thow like to be a .Shaker '; ' " No," sez I, " it ain't my stile." 1 had now histed in as big a load of jicrvishius is I could c.irry r ni- fortable, and, Itiinin back in my cheer, commenst pickin my teeth witu 11 fork. Tlie feiniile went out, leiivin m" all silone with the clock. 1 hadn't sol ilia. Ion),' before the Elder iiiki'ii his he 1 in at the door. " You're a man of sin 1" he 3e.'r : The Elder stood in the doorway, with a tp.ller candle in his hand. lie hadn't no wenrin appeerel on excc|it his night close, which flattered in the br like a Sesesliun lUg. He sed, " You're a man ot sin !' t'aen £ d and went an ay. 1 went to sleep again, an-'drempt of ranninorf with tuj pretty little Shakeresses, mounted on ray Californy Bar. I thawt the Bar insisted on stcerin strate for my dooryard in lialdi.isville, and that Betsy Jane cum out and giv us a warm recepshun with a panful of Bilin water. I was woke up arly by the Elder. He sed refreshments was reddy for me down stairs. Then sayin I was a man of sin, he went groanin away. As I was goin threw the entry to th' room where the vitlles was, I cum across the Elder and the old female I'd met the ni»ht bef ire.aml what d'ye spose tliey was up to? Hoggin and kissin like young loTers in tl.cir gnshingist state. Sez I, ''My Shaker fronls, I reckon you'd better suspend the rules, and git marrid 1" " You must cxcoos Drother I'riab," led the female; ' 's Bubjeck to fits and hain't got ni commaad o'er hisself when he's ."to 'em." '' Sartinly," sez I, " I ?c bin took tkat way myself freqiieat." " You re a mtn ot sin ! " aed the Elder. After breakfust my lime Shaker frendi cum in ngia to clear away the dishes. "My pretty dears," se?, I, "shall we yry agin 7 " Nay," they sed, and 1 nay'd. The Shakers aied me to go to their meetin, as ttey was to hav sar- vices that morning, so I put on a clean biled rag and went. The I'leetin house was as neat aj a piu. The Huor was white aa chalk and smooth as glass. The 'hakers was all on hand, in c'. iin weakin and lueal bags, ranged on the tloor Kke^milingtery comp.inies, the mails on one side of the room and the femaiis on| totlier. They commenbl clap- I'in their bauds and singiu^; and dancin. They danced kinder slow at fust, but a- they got warmed up'they shaved it down very brisk, I tell you. El ier Uriah, iu jiarticler, eihiberted a right smart chance of spryness in his legs considering hiSjlime of life, .Tnd us he cum a dubble siiufile ne.T « here I sot, I rewarded him with a ai'prov.n smile and sed : "llunky hoy ! Go it, ri y gay and_festiT cuss !" lie M.I. kds il.( II .lai, i( d andeurg 1:^' Ji, ni d luU r U I \ »i,s il.riw one ( f 'tm ii.T'd ine wlai 1 itiawt of it. Sez I, " What duz it siggi erfy ' ' •■What ?'sez he. " Why this jum] in ui' and singin ! 'I his Icng .veskit biznessand this amy matrimony idee / .My frends, yen air heat and tidy. Your lands is lluwin with milk and honey. Your brooms is '■.r.e,aiid your apple sass is honest. '.\ laui a miuibiiys a kag of apjile .sass of you he don't find a grate many thavins under a few layers of sass-- a little Gunie I'm sorry to say bum of my New Eijglan n.TccElers used to practiss. Your garding seeds is tine, and if I sh-uld sow 'em on the rock of«fure llie cumnif ncf nicnl of u,t wir.) On retiirnin to my liiirnatc} ia PaMnHviHe, Injiunny, rfjuntly, m" feller ailtcrzens extpndej a invite fur me to norale to 'i-iu oi tl.e Krysii. I eicepteil k on Ust ToosJay nite I peafJ be4 a '.' of iijiiur kJ faces in the Re. I >k(i >! Hoiije. I epuke nearly as f 'Iowa, Baldinsnilinj : IIearto4, ad I hav numerously jbjarved, I hu'-e ab- strainrj from having any scnllmunta or principles, my poller'.ics, like :nj religion, bein of a eiceedin accninmodatin character, liut the fatk can't bo no longer di.-igised tbal a Krysis U onto ua, 4 I feel it's my dooty to accept your invite for one consecutife nite only, I jpose the inflammerlory inJividooalg who assisted in projuriug this Krysis know what good aha will do, but I ain't ' shamed to .stale that I don't, scarcly. But the Krysis ij hear. She's bin bear for sevial wei-k.^ A Goodness nose how long she'll sl.iy. liut I venter to u^sert that she s '-pin things. She's knockt trade into a cock; op Imt an 1 cliani'd Iiiznp.-. • He larfed agin, wusser nor be4, wliareuiion I up and sez, " Go hom^. Sir, to Afri- k_\'s burnin shores ft talk all the other What Is Its a! mg with you. Don't think we can't spair yjur rii;- terestin picters. You What Is'Its air on the pint of emashin up the grntestauvmenl ever erected by man, & you actooally hav the owdas- sity to larf about it. Go boiue, you low cuss I" I was workt up to a bigh pitch, 4 I proceeded to a Restorator * cooleil orf with some little tislies biled in ile— I b'leeve Ibav call ' em sardeens. Feller Sitteiv.uns, the African may be Oiir Urofu-r. Sevral bily re- spectyide gentlemen, and sum taleutid females tell ussojt furargymenl's sake 1 might be injooced to grant it, tho' I don't beleeve it myself. But the Afrikan isn't our sister ^ our wife 4 our uncle. He isn't sevra! of our brothers i nil our fust wife's relashuns. He isn't our Grand- father, and our grale- jrandfatber, and our Aunt in the country. Scarcly. 4 yit uumeris persons would have ui think so. It's troo herons Con- gress 4 sevial other public grosserya, but then h« ain't everybody 4 everybody .dse likewise. [Notiss to bijnesj m in of " Vanity Fair ;" Ejtry charg fur this larst remark. It's a goak-A. W ] liut we've got the Al'rikan, or ruther he's got us, 4 now whit air we going to do about it ? He's a orful noosance, I'raps he isn't to blame 'ur It. P'aps he was crcatiil fur some wise purpnsg, like tho measles and .Vew Englan Rui , but it's m;ty hard to see it. At any rate he's nr good here, 4 as I statid to Mister What la It, it's a [lity he cooden't go orf sumnliares quietly by bisself, wlnri> he coud wear red weskils 4 speckled neckties, and gratterfy hisamb'shun in varis iuteres'in wa.se, without bavin a eternal fuss kickt up about him. Prapa I'm bcs'-in down ton hard upon CufTy, Cum to think on it, I am. "■> wooden'tbe sich a infernal nnosanse if while peplo woiiiJ let bira alone. H- mite indeed be intereslin. And now I think of it, why can't th ■ n-bi'.. pepli It bin abirc. What's the good of cuntiniierly lirnu him up with a ten-f.jot pole ? U, isn't the sweetest kind of I'er- foomery when in a natral stait. Felior .'^ilterz.;ns, tho Union's in danger. The black devil Disunion IS trooly here, siarin us all squarely in the faci' ' We must drive him back. Shall we make a 2nd .Mexico of ourselves .' Shall we sell our birthrite for a mess of potash f f hall o:ie brj'.lur put ths k lifo to the throat of anuthcr brother f Shall \ e mix our whiskey with each oibei's blud ? Sli.ill the star spangl- e i liaacer be cut up into dishcloths 1 Siandin here in this bore Skoolhouae U1P01 my nativ shore, so to speak i ajsj- — Nary I Oh jou fellers ilio air raisin this row, and who in the fust placo started it, I'm 'shamed of you. Tho showman blushes for you, I'rom his boots to the topmost hair upon his wenerable bed. Feller Sitterzens, I am in tht Sheei' 4 Yeller leaf. I shall peg out 1 Of these dase. Hut while I do stop here I shall stay in the Union. I know not what the supervizers of lialdinsville may conclude to do but for one, I jhall stand by the Stars 4 Stripes. Under no circumstances whatsomever will I sesesb. Lot every Stait in the Union sesesh 4 let Palmetter Hags flote thicker nor shirts on Scjuarc liaxtcr'.s close line, still will I sti k to the good old llag. The country .nay go to the devil, but I won't ' And nextSummer when I start out on my campane with my Show, wharever I pitch my little tent, yim shall see floatin prowdly from the centre pole thereof the Amerikan Flag, with nary a star wiped out niry a strijie less, but the same old flag that has allers tlotid thare I 4 the price of adraishun will be i!ie same it allers was — 15 cent.i, chil- dren half price. Feller Sitterzens, 1 am dun. Accordinly, b.avin wijied my mass'v brough with lietsy Jane's handanner, I squatted. In the Orluni of 13— my frend, the editor of the Baldinsville Bugle was obU-aed to leave perfeshernal dooties 4 dig bis taters, 4 he axed me to edit for him doorin bis absence. Tt d:dn't take me a grate wkilo to slash out copy enulT from the xchanges for one issoo, and I thawt I'd ride up to the next town on a littl Jaunt, to rest my Branes which had bin severely ri.ci£t by my mental eSoits. (rbis b sorter Ironical). So I went over to the Rale Rood and axed the Sooprintendent for a pars. " You a editor ?" he axed, evijently on the pint of snickerin. " Yes Sir," sez I, " don't I look poor enuff ?" " Just about, " sed be "bat our Road can't pars you." " Can't hay ?'' " No Sir— it cai,t." " Becauz,"sez I, lookin him full ;n the face with a Eagle eye" itroei so darned slow it cant part anybody .'" Methinks I had him thar. It's the slowest Rale Road in the West. Wiih a mortified air, he told me to git out of bis offijg. I pittid him and went. THE WAB FETEn IH A3 ^0011 .11 I'l (■•'vot)p(frjiit'd my pliiiiWil ivitem, I weuL over iulo III'- Tillage. TIm! pcAiiaatry wm gitj to ree nil?. The tcljiKilmasUT ' sill it waj chi-'erin to see th;it gignntic intflleck amung 'em unci mure. Tliat'j wlmt he oalled me. I like lUc skoolmaatir, and allers S"n'l bim tobiickcr wIh'Q I'm otTon a Iriicelin cami'iuie. Bi'iiilt'j, he id .1 »ery si'nsitile man Such men raust !ie encourogeil. T'ley duu't git ni W3 verv fast in lialdinsville, a.', notliiag but a jilauk , road fun? in tlicre tw:c» a week, and tbut'j very mucb out of repair. Su my nabers naiu't mucb posted U|i in regard to tbe wars. 'Siiuire IJaxter 3aid he'd rulod the dimicratic ticket fur going on furiy year, and [ \'i.' war waj a dam black reptili'iican lie. Jo. Stackpnlc, who kills hogs fur the .Scpiire, mid liiij got a powerful mujcle into Ida arms, n \ he'd in't f.". be c-juld iick tlie Criji' iu a fair jtund up llgbl, if bu nould't , draw Ik kiiiio on biru. So it went— 6um was for war, and sum was fur peace. TI.e si-oolinaitT i.ow"over, 3ed tbe SlaTe tjligarky must cower at tbe feCi of tbe North ere a ' ar bad Huwed by, or pass orer bis dea 1 corpse. " Esto perpetua' aii"'.!. "And sina qua noa also"' Eed I, sternly, u i.-bint^ to il lio a impressioD ontoth* filh'jrer', " Rei) ■ uiescat in pace'" sed the scbooliuasler. "Too troo, too troo '■' I anserd, " it's a scanderlus fad 1" Tbe cew-papers got clong at iasi, chock full of war, and the patri 'tic li-ver fuiily bust out in BaldlnsviHe. 'Squire liaxter sed be didn't belicTe in Coercion, not one of 'em, and could |>rove by a tile (i( Eaghi of Liberltj in his garrit, that it waj all a Whig !;i', gut up to raise tbe price of wLi.4.y, afid destroy our other liberties. U,; tbe old 'Squire got putty riley, when be heard how tbe rebels was cuuir. up, aui bo «•■ 1 he reckoned he should scour up bis ul 1 muskit, and do a little iqiiare lilin for 'lie old Flag, which bad allers bin un tlie ticket he',1 voted, and he was ;o old too liult now. Tbe '.><;uire is all right at heart, but it takes longer for bim to till liis venerable liiler with ateam than it uied to when he was joting and frisky. As I previously informed you, I am Captin of the DalJinsviUe Coniiiany. 1 riz gradooally but majestically from drumniei'.i Secretary to my presti.t posi- tion. Cut I found the ranks wasn't full by no means and commenced for to re- croct. Huvij i:u'J=t a gineral desire on the pait of young n.eii who are into the Crisis to wear cppylils, I detarmincd to have my companyVouipuicd e-tcloosivelv of cllicers, tverybo3. \''e can rest muskits with anybody. I':.: ■■■rp?e will do its dooty. We go to the aid of Columby— we i.,-'m :jr the stars i Well b8 chopt into Eassige meat l;fc.-e we'll exhibit our coat-tales to the foe. Weil Ik ht till there's noth'n left of us out our little toes, and even lick the Sics'ien in a up fiix'it. The propriety of introducing a sad story lik- the following, in a book intended to be rather cheerful ia it3 character, may be .luestioin i ; but it so beautifully illustrates the firmness of woman when grief and despair have taken possession of '• the chambers of her heart, ' that we cannot refrain from relating it : Lucy M loved with all the ardor of a fond and faithful wife, eml when t>o un/^n v.~.mm «!,,. u^j ,« /.,...-.. leaned was stolen from tier by death, her friends and Lucy would go mad. Ah, how little they knew her mions said they shall d.-fMatly \r;(Trri» ' (ia/.in^' for ;'.e last lim • upon the clay-coll t'e.iluiis of her departed hu-band, this \ i"ing widow — beautiful even iu her grief: so ethereal ti. look upon and yet so firm ! — looking for the last time npon the dear, fun iliar face, now cold and still in death — Oh, looking for the last, last iiii:o — she rapidly put ou her bonnet, and thus addressed the sobbing into the buttery and get some rum, and we'll Btart this man right along ' " A VISIT TO BBIiHAU YOUHO I'. IS now(f')inon2 (too) jirtf, ft» I very well remenilj.'r, sinco I ■tosscJ the P'.ancs for K»liforDr, the Brite laoJ of JoM. Wijil.- kroisia the ri»ncs all 80 toM I Ml m nltLJuni noble rci men (4 i!i>> forest (.V. 11. '1 lii- ij ro'e S»rc«iliciil. lujins it Pizin. ^> Imr ever f iiirl.) which th.iy t'< 1 I was their Brother, A winliJ for to fmcke the C.il..;,!.! of Peiico nil'; tie. Thnjr then itole my jerkt beef, bl.inkiu, cUfttiry, skaliit my crifin griD'ier \ icoote^l Willi n WilJ floop. Diirin t'i« Cheaf'j techia ipeech he sed he ihoulU i:ieet me in the Happy Hantia Oroun.li. If he linz thar «?ill la' a lite. I!nt inufTof Ihii ere. /d ivn Soost Mn't~,int, 113 nur (koolinajter, who liii^ go! Tiik'nl into him, cii<3VCiilly objarve. I arrovc at S;ili Lake in .luo liiiii. At Ciimp Scott Ihero was it lot off. S. Bojora, hostensibly sent out thare to smash the mormons but fpaliy to fnt Palt viitles A piny lok't k other teamitul l"it siimwhiit cnsartin pames. I got acpiainted with sum of the oHicTS. Thay lookt I'Utty «criimpBh.is in their Eloo coats with brass buttings onto urn A ware very tulented drinkers, but, so fur as fitiu is lansurned I'd wil- ling'y put m-j wax figgera agin the hull pnrly. My (]isire was to exhibit my grate show in salt I.nlio Ci(_v, so I called on llrixham Vung, the grate mopull niiiung the iiiormins, anl aied lii.s (■cTmishim to [.itch m;; teut and onfuil my banner to tlic jontlc bree/is. lie luoite'l at rae in a ausleer m^i.ni'r for a lew niiiiiis, and sid : '' Do vol; bleeve in SilomoD, S-aiiit Paul, the iium.'iculati'ne5^ ol the Mur- ijiinrb';r.Land'he I,aiu>r-]ay ri^'vil- ashuns 7 ' Sez I, " I'm on it !' I make it a lunt to gi: along pleeunt, tho 1 didii'i know what under thet'on the old fel- ler nva; J.'i> in a'- He si J I mile show. '■ Vl'i .'lir a iii.irrij luui, Mister YuD(?, I blecve ?' sez I, prejinrin to rite Lim sjm free parsis. '• I Lev e'ghty wive?, Uislcr Ward. I sertinly am married.'' '■ JIow do you like i; .is far as you bev f3l"sedl. ill- si-J '• middlin,'' and nxed nie woi.ldn't I like to see Lis famerlr, to which I replide that I wouldn't mind miugiin with the fair Seek h Harskiu iu the winniu smiles of hi: interestiu wives. lie nccordinly t'.ik me to his Scareuu;. The house is poweiful Lig i in n exceedin large room was lis wi^es *£ children, which larst \ras Eq^-.akin an Lollerin enuff to take the roof rite erf th<* house. The wimin ivas of all sizes and ages. Si m was pretty « sum was plane -sum was Lei thy and sum was ot. the Wayne -which iS verses, tho sicL w.^s not my intentions, as I don't 'prove of puttin vorses in Prose ritlins, tho cf occashun ro.piires I can Jeik a 1 oim ekal to any of them .itlmtic M:tnlh:,j fellers. "My wires, Mister TVard," sed Yung, '• Yuur servant, marms," sed I as hedcd female brawt me. '-Besides these wives yoa see here, Mister TWtrd,- sed Y.mg, " I l,av c.fehty more m varis parts of this conucrated land which air Se.aled to me. ' " Whi-.h ? " sez I, gittia LP 4 staWa at him. "Sealed, Sir? sealed." ' Whare bowts*" sez 1. ' I se,]. Sir, that they was sealed 1 ■■ lie spoke in a tragedy voice. '•^lU theyproMy continniron in that stile to any grate extent, Sir ? '■ I axod. • SuVsedl.cturninas.ed as a Uil-.d beet, •■ don't you know that ■■ vu: vx;'.:rc:; i:; ;aai 1, iue i'luiii, may hov a3 menj wives as ^'•^SiiK ■ Them as =i «..-,l,. 1 ,., i„o _ il,,ii 1, lo say, lo be mine when I wan'j urn — lir at present my ^perretoual wives," snid Miller V ing. " I.mg miy -hay wavctsc/, I, seein I shood git lu'o a icrape t( I didn't Ii>uk out lu a i>ririt cooTerfajhun with nrighan I learnt the fullerin fax it I'lkes him six weeks to kins his wives He don't do it only onct ayer(■ 4 se/, it Is wuss nor cIciDin houje. Ho don't prclotid to know hi- cliildren Ihare ii so many of urn, tho they all know Lim. He set abou' every child he meeii c .Ms him Par, k he takes It for grantij it is lo. Hi . wives air very eipensir. Thiy ^llerl want suthin k ef be doni buy It for um thay set the house In a ujiroar. Be sez he donl have a minli'i reace. Hit wives fite nmung thtirseires to much that he has bilt a fiiin room for thare jp. ihul beiielii, k when two ol'.rra get into a row he has e-n t irned loose into that pla e whar the dispoot is settled accordin to the rules of the London prize ring. Sumtimes ihav abooi hisssif iridi»i,l.,oaly. Thay hev pulled tn- most of his hair out at the roo's k he ware.s meny a horrible scar upon his body, iLtlicttd «iih mop-handles, broom sliiks and sich. tccashunly il.ey git mad K scald him with bi!in hot water. When he got en., w.ize cranky they'd suut him 110 in a dark clo.^it, previsly whippin him arler the stile of muthers when thare urfsjirings git onrulv t-umtimes when l.« went ir. jwimmiu thay'd go to tbe^banki cf the Lake k .-teal all his (bi-c, thereby com- pcllin him to Jiie> ',-. Iiome by » sircoo- i:isi-owt,drebtiii li.e fc'ktnderlus .Mile (f the (iretit frl.iv. "1 tiud that the keers cf a m..; i led life vray Le-y onto me," led li.-. pr.fii, " k sum- Mes I wi.^hed I'd i< mnned singel." ' left the Profit and -'urtid fjr the tav- c 111 whare I put •i\< lo. On my way I was overtuk by a l.irge krowd of Mortnuns, which liny surrouadid me k slaiid that they wire gji i into the fallow free. " Wall," .,ez I, ' if I find a indi- viduoal who Is goin round lettin folks into his show free, I'll let you know." " We've had a P.evelashun biddin us go into .^. Ward's .Show without layin noihin I" ll..ay sliowtid. ' Yes," hollered a lot of femailc -Mormonesrfs, ceaiin me by the cole tales J^ swicgin me round very rajdd, '• ive're all going in free '. So sez the K'^velashuD !' I Oh fl nj, Sir, sitiij .''' saiil a tau! guuiil fcmcllt. 1 sot down in a cheer which a nd- I wants ?' " Jes so," I sed You are old jiif, a'n't you? " "\Aha;'.-^ Old Revi'.ashan got to do with my S^how ?" sez I, gii'.in putty rily. ' Tell .Mister Rcvel-ashun,'' sed I, " lo mind his own biz- ness, subject only to the Konstitution of the luitid States 1' '■ Oh now let us in,'" sed several fera.iiles, puttin thare arms rownd me in luvio stile. '• Becum a Preest k hav wives sealed to yoj." " .Vot a Sea! I" sez I, startin back in horror at the idee. ' Oh stay. Sir, stay," sed n tall gawut fcmaiie ore whoos bed 37 eum- mirs must hev parsd, " stay and I'll be your Jeiitle Gazelle." ■'Not ef I know it y.n won't,'' sez I. "Awa \ou skanderlus I'emiile, awa I Go i be a Xuunery I'' That's w h.at I sed. jes so. " & I," sed a fat chunky female, who miist hev wade more than too hundred lbs., " I will be your sweet gidiu^Star '" tfcz (, " I'll bet twe duliers and a half yoa won't ! m.ay Rome He still bj true 2 ttee, Oh B.'t5y Jine ' Jane is my wife's Sir naime.] " Wiltist thou not tarry hear in the Irumist Land '' " lie sec you a!I cssenshally cussed bed 1 wiltist ! ' roared I as una as I cood be at thare infcrnul nocceuts.'I girdid up my Lions and fled iLr Seen. I packt up my diids A left Salt Lake, which is a :;nd Soddiim i Oermorrer, iuhabited by as tlieavind ,.<• onprincip'e a set of retchis a = ever drew Crclh iu cny spot on the (ilobe. Whare, ear I rv. P., Pji^T PItCOLOMINI (JfsrJ, -I arrovej in llon-Un 1 on S.ilur.lay I'. M. Iiotu ll.ililiia- ^ :1V |"it iri llmt lo fit mvii-ir ii|) «u 1 [lilt Oil «cU'«nbile'i rug to «ltfti'l M jj I'lcXJeboaionji'j ((r.K'- muiici! lorry at lUe Mclndcoii. J],,- kiuwJi wl.ich pore! iuto the Unll ttii,;iiri"l \v.ill fur iIjc bLcit liiimi', A with chff!f;il <|.erreU t ,)miim1 the entlnjoMiigiie Ihroin. I aski-J Mr. Siarkhor'li at the Jojr il he |ii»r'.t tl . (•crfi-sai >n, ami In jiiiJ iiol U!uc:b rnriii lii-p-, niak'.- n^ facet l;ehii;'l llie iiiii.i.Sm'j Lack, lie 4.., ;.oa liill),' to the . -it in and 8i|Mattrdi]owa. It woinsal lliawt lo ihiok tloi' in nI! tli'i' «»•( anjicnce Scarcely a Sole lail the honor of my aci|iiainlance. " ,t thij ere," led 1 liitiurly, " if I) Fame! What sigorfy my wii lijrgirs and livin wild beasts (which have no tkaU) to these iipple ' W,i,it do they cure bccwzu ii' • f my K.ingaroo 13 worth dubhle the price of adiii ^gioii, an'l that u, , Snakes Is as liarralij ni a new bore b.ibe — a'l of which is utiictly Iroo-?'' I jhoiild have xone on raleiu at Koriin nnd tliintrs aiim more but jest then Sij^ner Mnc.irony cum out and S'lng a Imirey fiom sum opry or other. H" hail on hij store cl)ie and loolie 1 pretty .ie « hen, in tcUii. how .he drempt she lived in Marble Hall, liie sed it tickled her more linn all the rest to dream the liked hor teller jtill the aam», [ ma'ii; an cll'jit to iwalltr ii.jielf , hut, when ia the •leit song, •he looked «lrat.> at m« k called mo her Dear, [ wildly told the man ne.\t to me he iii;t> bar my close as I sho.^J never wanivm ugaio nc more la . 3 woill. ( Tl,i-/V.(i;i Dealer oontainin ihi? conimiinicasbua is cot lobe sent to ay fnunley in lii.Miu.-iHc underno lircumttanccs what- •omever ) In conelu..liun, M:i:i.i, I w.mt you todowell. I know you air d nice girl at bart .V y JU must get a gooil husband. He must be a man of brancsAiguni'hu'itagooJ pro vider — aman who will luv you »trong Nobody di.lu't understand uolliin ah ).vnvh.ii he se", and JO I hi^yapplaw- | and lou;{-a man who will lur you jest as much in your old age when dil him 'ersifenii^y. The.i .':;ij{ner lirignoty cum out and sung another liiiiy. He apjitare 1 lob- in a pen- jive Mood A sung a [,ut sone I suppose I ho he miv have been cu*jin the au- jince all into a hre i f .r aut I knew I. Then cum Mr. M..i' .irony agin A .Mi s I'icklehoin i:iy her-elf. Tie-y fang a Doit together. N'ow yop knovv gents, th.n I d u'l utlmire opry music. But [ like .Miis Picklebonnn\'i stile. I li. ■ hergite. J-he suits me. There has been grater sini^ers and there h.vs been more b',- lifiil wimin, bit no more fasjin.i;iii younj; fcmil? ever longed for .i ne v gown or .side to pUic^ her hed ng n :i vestpaltern tli.a i M irii Picklehuiu )ne Kassinitin pcolo ii h.'r b'-st bolt .S'l- wasbyrn to nnk' huh of m-n's b iz /•.onis t other wiini'i mide ber.iwz t'l iv iiin't PicUIehomoiiies. Iler f ice spar- ivies with amizia c issednesi jc aboot 1)) (two bundtel) little bit of funny 1 jTils air coutiau illy dancin ch impion ii:j3 in her eyeii, sail eyes bdn biile 1 niilfto lite a pipe by. Hon- I j', il li! e to have liitle Mirii o'lt on lov firm in Bildinsv.le, liiji,i>,ny, whue she cooi run in the tiill gr.i-ii, wrastle ^J-?- ,'_ 1^-^— _ cnarmin 4: luu or m'lsiv, s W^ <,^'^^~\r^ fun- O'^u't marry a su' *JP^' !j>¥^^^^ Vou aiiit a Angel, Mmi.i nit!i iLe b Piiiul.iiiniii i I the Chil I ul Ihe Itigiiheul, "3? cut up .-iiroiig at your to'ce is cracked like an old tea kiltie & you can't get 1 ot your notes oijcounted at 5t) per sent a month, as =r--£ he will now, whee you are jouig i Z charmin i full of musiv, .sunshine 4 . M iria. k I am glad of i>, Wl.on I Sie ang' U i:i pet- tyiouli I'm always sorry ihfiy hain't got wing., so thay kin ip.iietly lly off wheie thiiy will be appreshiated. Vou air a woman, 4 a mity good one too. .A -I for ilnccarony, Brignolo, Mulli-n- hullcr and thvm other fellerj. they ran take care of Iheirselvej. Old Mac. kin make a comfortable Kvin choppiu cori wo)d if his voice ever givs out and Anodij loolij as tho Le mi to succeed in conduclia sum piiet toU ga'.e, where the vittles would be plenty ^ ihc labor lite. I ;i'.a preparin for the Sumn.e- C.im- pane. 1 aha'.l stay in Cleveland a few days and probly you will hear from me again ear 1 leave to OLce more Le- c'lm a tosser on life's teinpostuous bil!er=, meania the Show Birnis. Very Ptrncct!'."ely Vour-i. ARIEML'S WARD. When 1 \r,u iu .V vala, I w h ckIIjI ii,.on, shoiiiy nfier iii.'i ariiv.il, by an athletic soiirlet-fi.-ed mm, w!u politely sai 1 hij name was blaze '■ I have a Utile bi 1 agiiustyuii, sir," he observed. " A bi,l-wtialf..r? ' " For drinks." •' Drinks?" ■ Ves, sir-at my ca.!-, I keep the w. U-kiiowii and highly-reputed coffee-house down street." " But, my dear sir, there is a mistake— 1 never iJrat;k .it your bar." " I know it, iir. Th it isn't the p dnt. The point is this: I pay out my money fori{!oiliquoi3,andit'3 the people's own fault if they don't drink tbe-n. Tii're are liipion— do as you please about drinking them, butyiu mu,t /Jiy for thi-n ! l^n't that fair?" Hia enormous body (wli ch ■'uek w,uMu't put a girdle i»uad for forty dollars) shook gleefully while I read ths eminently original bill. Years ago Mr. S.aze was an agent of the Ualifornia Stage Company. There was a fo:i.:id.ible and well-organiie 1 opposition lo '.he Calitoruia -Stage Company at that time, and Mr. Blaze rendered them such eigi:al service in his cap:iti'y of ag- ut that they were very sorry when he ten- dered his resignaliou. " Vou are some sisteen hundred dollars behind in your account?, Mr. Blap.e," said the President, " but in view of your faithful and etEcient services, we will throw off eight hundred dollais of that amount," .Mr. Blaze seemed touched by this generosity. A tear stood in his cyo, and bis bos.iu heaved audibly. " Vou will throw off eight hundred dollars— you U'lll .'" he at last cried seizing the P .d»y here. I',, been axoei ■ Seceiher,. » e.rnin my ,>„il, peck by ay leg.ilmit perf.,h..n, and l.'fD t had LO linie to wetlj my f.cile quill for " tho Grate Komick |'«l ff," if you'll al!u« me to kote from your truthful aivertijemcnt .V>- .ncceii wa, akaly, and I likewise had « narrer scape .,f ,„>• iif, I'-liHtl're Mu lhr.«u"S„,u,„ ho.ipital.ty," 'bout which w.>e I" •'"> •*'< much, then I f,el bound to obiarvc that iher m.ide two much u( me. Th-y waj riltO(;etl,,.r too larish with their atleujh.n. IHE SHOW IS ( 0NFI8CATED. ■ I ur V, a work, and be..ti ii then coBfi.ca.ed, k you «,r ,rrr.,. , at a Bpy ! 8ez r, "My f,.,ranl ro,e, of the Southern c'.ime and bloomin ..'m . ' \S' "" P"«°'"" "'■'•kr'n tl-l'town, and how m«o» cubic te.t of thai •edxcllTe flooiJ r.n you Indirido.Mlly bold V They made no reply to that.but.aid my n., I^ger, wa. confi.c... !. I ««d them .1 that w« ginrr.lly the .ill. among thlcrei in tb,u couoiry to which ti.ey al,o made n., replv, bu, ,e,! I waaarre.ted a. a Spy and rnuii go to M.mtg.mr/ in i.n,. They wa. by thi. i,,,,; medbyalargecrowdofoth...- Southern patril., who 8o.mocn*t ..1- erln lUng.he b..;..headed .b.>rlitioni.l, ar.d b.,tup hi. im„„ r.I eiL.bit.on I w.. oea„.J and tit.l to « .tump, and ih . crowd «,,.. I went amung the .....h.., ,i,h ao fe.lin, of annermo.ity 1 went or ^ 1. , T "'"■' "' '■' my [,.rf.shernal capacity. I „„ act^oated bv on. of the mo! ' ,uoo.m.M hi i "'"'■^'^'"^ •'""'-'"• "i'"'"> iMtrao.ion and i.on.e.t dosire, which can .well the human Duzzum, viz -.1 gi, ,b ' ?1 TT. "i"*''" '". """!".' '"'»'''"'''' "' '^ <•-" P" ""l—d pccple ihe.r money's worth, by ,hc-*in them Saga.lius HeesH, and Wai StatooiH, w.ch I Tenter to .ay air oniurpast by any other .tutoot, anywh.Tos. 1 will not call that man who se^ my Mutoot, ij humbue, a Iior and a ho.i thief, but bring him IH mo, and I'll wither him with one of my scornful frown« I! II to proceed with n.y uil. In "•y travels threw the Siinry South I I"' Ted ft Leap of talk iibout Sece.hon nii I l.u-'tin up thr Union, but I didn't ll.'ulv ii luountedto tiothin. The po- lilici.in3 in all the villages n.is f wearin timt old Abe (sometimes called the I'niha.irie lljwer) shouldnt never be noggerai.d. They alson-ide fool, of th'.ir-ehes in vari, ways, but nj they was used to that I didn t let ii worry me much, nnd the Stari and Stripes coniinuej to wave over my little tent. Moorovcr, I was a Son of .Majty, and a member of scTeral other Tcmjierance Societies, and my wife she was a Daw- ter uf M.iliv, nn l jposed these fax wo;iId =ecuurme the ioflo'.Bz .and per- leciiuu of all the fust families. Alas ! I was dispiatcd. State arter State sece-h.'J, nnd it growed hotter .id tier for the undertined. Tliirpi cnme to n climbmack; in a small town m Alabamy, where I was premtorallv ordered to haul do'.vn the Stars & Siri;,.;. A deppytashuiu ofred-faccd men cum up to the door of n.y tent ware I was st:ndiu takin money (the afternoon exhibishun had commenstj an' my Italyun organist w.13 ierkio hi? solestirrin chimes). '• -n-e air cm Sir cockthat, "upon.ihiaadhulvmishiin The !?n, ,k v' ]'■ " thi-ewout thi^ »unny laiiJ ,'r. , /''^ Southern Kagle .sscreamin liii unny land-prcjdly a.,d deiiantly =creamin Sir ' Whats the Eatter Bith him )" se? f .. 1 ,,.""'"' ""^ " That E..gle, .«ir, will continm. to .cream '.11 o-,r .1 r.-, tremenius land! " ~"tam ,ill o.ir lb - Ente anu "^^ull, let Lim sorciffi If m i<- tt. i scream-n, let him wen, 'The Cn an ^ , "" T""' ''"'"' ''^ makin change. '" '"'°^*'^ '''• ^'' ' ''»^ ^'''7 " We air cum. Sir, 'ipon n matter o.'' docv— " J Vuu-re right, Capline. It's every man's doo'y to visit my show,'^ ■ We air c .m— " -ilverv'v„^'''l''"' ITT ^'"'"' '"*'" ''''• ''"■■' -^ -f -^ H'.irklingeppygramg. •' .l,r sir T'" ,"'"'"''• '^'" ''*""' •' '"•■'- '^' «i" .VO,. haul down tiie Star-Spinjlod Tanner, and bl;' t! .■ -ontH.-r,, |..ijj>-. ■' >fary bist '^ Those wag my reply 8 " / " .l.^ I n;i'c »ay of tear- in dog.s to pean ••, an u I ullers sposed fr 'ffl h:« gineri.; ■• ndiick that he'd ha^ r." hesiiashuD in serrln btman b( ins in iLtsame way iibe < dgitatthcm. K.vcuie me it I was crooil, I lar.'cd I'OTjterriisly «l.en I see that tiper Epiing in among th» people. ' Go it, r>v sweet CUS8'' I inardly exclaimed, I forgive you lor bilin ofT my b-it ti.um with all my heart ! Rip em lip lite a bully tiger whose Lire has 1 in inwflded by Seceshers '■" I c.in't sJiy for certain th it the tiger serisly injure 1 any of t Jem, but m he was seen a few days after, sum miles L'i-taiit, K'thalargennd well-selected «;so,tmcnt of seats cf trowsis in hi- moulh, and as he lookt as tho he'd biu tuvin sum vilent fxcercise, I r.ayther guess he did. Vou will therefore per- ceive that they didn't confisticate him r^uich, I was carrid to Mor.lgomry in iuns . and placed in durans vial. The jail I was an ornery edifis.s, but the table wa-: liLrally supplied with liakin and Cellidge. This was a goorl variety, fur w hen 1 didn't banker after fukin I could help: yself to the cal.bii^e. 1 had nobody to talk to nor nothin to talk about, howsever, and I was very lonely, specially on the first d.iy ; 30 when the jailer parst my lonely sell I put the few stray liairs'on tlie,back part of my bed (I'm 'Laid now, bat tbarc was a time when 1 wore sweet auburn rin^jlei.^) intc as dish-hevild as state as possible, i rollin my eyes like a manyuck. I cride, '' Stay, j.iler, slay ! ! nm not mad but soon shall be if you don'il bring me suthin to Talk I' He br'jng me sum noo?p.»per?, for which I thanked him kindly. Al larsl I got a interwievr wiih Jefferson D.ivis, the President of the Southern Contiiieveracy. lie was quite periite, and aiel me to ait down and state my case. I did it, -when he larfed and said his gall'int men had been a little 2 enthoosiastic in coofisticatin try show. '■ ies," sez I, " they confisticated me tco muchly. I had sum bosses conlisticated in the =ame way onct, but the coniisticaters air now poundin stun in the States Prison in Injinnapylus." "Wall, wall, mister Ward, yo'i air at liberty 10 depart : you "air Irienaiy to the South, I know. Even now we liave many frens'iu the North who sympathise with ue. and won't mingle with this fight.'' f ■J. DiTi», tUr»'jjourBr«ten,„u,k. Man/ ,/ui w«i /our jin.c, rrmJ. .n.l tl.oughl .erlin r»riiM «„,...,< ,„ »„ f,,,,,, ,,,„,„ j^,, „j ■"•dJIm wiiUjourconiwniintirelj t,,., n,u.|,. Hut, J. :)»,„ i|„ ■"'nit JO., I,r,. » gun .t the (Moce r.f .l,v-Ko«d, c»!k,l il„ 6t,r,S,,.„g!,.,, I'«rnf the Nort;. g^ti up .ad risen ,„ ,„,>,-;^, ,„ d,f,„,, „f ,|,.fb.n >■". Not.gin vouMiDdifMloo.l.,_not ngio ,ba South erfc-but o .«,. c fl»g. W. ,|,oul.l ind... 1 bo w„-< in the kn«,.. Mn*,ur.l in I tl^e b,*rt, railk.wl,it« I, ,h, li,er, «nd .oft in ,h. I,,d, if w. ,,oo,1 -n.lljr I, „,J „,. ,»,i, g|„„„ (,„,.„„^, „„„f,,j ^ ^.^^^^^ ^.^1^^^ ^ ; furru, „r . ,cl.„ti„.. (co. Tl.r g.ntl.-h., tH motb*/ hut.,, to t.ke l,.r ' ^»"«t.tr dal.l ,cro„ he. kn... but .h* kno». i, i. her doot, ,o do it >■' 'V. „.«l| u,. „ »bip ,„, n.ugbly Souti, but we a,u,tdo i, ,f tou don . m.k, b., k ,r..k. ,t on,-t, »„,! „ . ,l,»ll ^»il .,, ^ou „ut „f ;our m«kin egrpjut luuilon-hed of liruelf '■' " Oo on, a r, rou'rf .»fe fnulf. rou'ro loo im»ll powjfr (^c ,m - •ud the Ptt,.ii,D: of ihe .Suuthera Conthlorer.oy. W.it till 1 go home .nd il^n ojt the n.ldiniTJlle .Wounled Ilusi C.T.lry ■ I',,. C.pling of that Cor,,.. I »„, and, J D.vi,, b«w»re • J,fr.r.on D, lnowl«v,youir,r.we;i.a,,g,^S.l..r'l,.v,l :oud by, my bold burraneer ! Pirut of tb- dee,, blu« -,a, adoo ' adoo ' ' My tower thre, tbc Southern Conlb...er.,-r on my way horn. w,h tbrtllin onuir for yeller rorer.. It will form iU« .ubjeck of n,v n.., a't.j J -ne and the progeny air well '•mtiof'lht F.dUor,il forpie: — Since I la.t rit you I re met w.th immen« ,n«.„ a .howin my .how ■n '.r., place,, particly at Detroit. I pu, up Mr R„„er, ,/vern a v.ry good ta.ern too, but I a„, ...-ry f. ,nform jn„ that the cl.rk. tr^d .cum a Gouge (.,.n,e on me. 1 b.and.hed n,v new .i.tcen dollar ot em 7'I 7""" ^'■"'''^"'"■"■' * " 1 w..- 'Ire,, in mr o,re clothe.* had alol i.fsweel.scenled wa^on-'.rease on my hair, 1 auj tree to Cwfess that 1 thought Id lookt piitiy gay. I; iitrcr ouco struck lue that i ; .okt green But up alepj a '■!iTk 4 axes n,e !i,idu't I better put nil watch vi the >ufe. "Sir, '»e/. '. '■ t'l^it watch cost aiju-en dolUri ' Ves Sir, evtrx ''tHar of it! Vou I .iD't cum it over me my boy' Not "'■ ■'■'■ ^"' 1 Kiion'd what the ;o Weal'ard hoe. On the car,- .3 a he-lookin female, wii!, a gr< en- •-■.'itei, umbreller in ci.o Iran.l ai, i r. handful cf i!, f„rn. trackj ll,. otKer. 8he Hi every wtmun ^honhi l.ave a.^'pear. Ihim ns di.li/i de- i:..mdlbfir,--jv.w,.!io'L-tki.«-«hfi. wus good fiT ihtni. " W Lat is toy S[cnTV she n.tc,!, addnisin the r<"plcint!.eortr-. 'I, it to jtnv at l."me A Jam stockns .v b) lU .e, . 'when you put .ugar into it. Thatj the w,v OH TMK \VI.\a. " I guei. not," vd ', I aller' take mine." " ITave you sons grown up, Sir .'" tlw man « v " W^ll, [ rejilide, -s 1 put myself out side my beverage A. -emus junior is goin on 18." Am t you ifi-.id ifyou let hii:i this example he'll cum 'o a lad enj ^■' K-'. cum to a «aied end al- in 7 son D,'t '''''"" "S^", •/ J ok;, Vo/f.' '•'■■: of a doninterin man ' Or ii it mv * 7:z s!^:' ''^'■' ' , '^ •""" -i-r i-;:'^;';^ i:.:'br '"• '"-'' -'''- "-"-• '^ ^* w,i:;s:;:;scvc :f;;„:'t.;:.r;rr'""^'^"'^"' '- '- '■ b.:. you'll plea.ore,.en:ber I :^n'Vr^^4 ^^t'^ " • '' if.Touple.se' She .,ot down "'l"'^"" Don . Spear me agin, ^.^n in ,oM .peetacl. ^d" J::;^:;:::;lX?:,- -f !, -- -e^* 5^. .. of men not upon tho wiiic when It is red!" ' - « i- J. i-'on em would break into I Se^ r, " this ait't wine. This is ' l Rye ^''"''°'' '' '" """ "'^"•1 '■ // ^iln^eth ;,,e a Mder a..,. A.V.M Ul: <, Mment .■• se.; the man. ' The atudenu- of the Conne,,,, Acaden.y gave . theatrical ent^^ ready. He', learnin the ,hoe makin l'i'.ne.s.,' 1 r,,,l„le. •■[ t;ue,s we can both on us get along without your assistance, Sir," I ol.'sar- ed, «s !ie w<, about to open his mouth 't,'in. " This is a cold world ' ge.i the man. "That* .0. Hut you-il ^,.l :„io a warmer one by and by if jou don't niinv' yjur own bijneaa better.'' [ ■xn* '. line nlcd al the feller, tjccanje I never t«ke anythin only when .' m onwell, I arter wardi learoe.l h,. SS:: was a temperance lecturer ani if he can injuee men to stop .ettin their icards on fire -vith the frightful lickcr which is rtlailed round the country , ' I s'l.iU harily rejoice. lietter give ::i'^ men rrusaick Assid to onct, than to piien '>.m to delh by degr.cs. At Albiou I met with overwhelm- in succtsj. The ceUbrateJ Albion Female Semenary ii located here, .v ihera air over 300 youcg ladies i;i the inslitushun, pretty enough to eat witboul seasonin or .'ass. Tho young ladies was very kind to me, voluntce.-'n to pia my handbills onto - isurblime si!o tosec over300 Toung ladies go.'n r( un I with a adTertisem-nt of A. Ward's onparalel'sho^ con»pick'!3!y fostd onbj -.boir dresses. They're g..t a Panick up this way nnlrefoozsto take W'lSttra money. It never was worth much, an 1 when western :iien who ki;ew what it is, refoo;:. to take their own money it is .ibout tixe other foJkj stopt hardlin it. Banks are bustin evtry day, goin up higher nor ,M,r balloon cf which we hav any record. These western lan:;er3 air a I wish ' owned as good a house as some cf .\ WARD. "Tenple and Up '—he rol -.Jr^lKed, 9 be wasama^e.i to see C.e.,.r rise upon Lis feet and nervously examine his scorched garm'>nt3. " Lay down, you fool," shouted Drutu.^. wildly • doyouwantiob-akeup •' whole thing !'_..Vo," refjrned Cesar' in an excited manner, " I don'. . I want to act out Gincral a.r,^r !n „.„,i style, but i aint go.n' to h&il under that cussed old stove for .nobody'''' This stopped tie play.aad the students abandoned theatricals fortowith i:?-.ViN rosBF r as oiheh,'>. I'-.nn a rocrnt visit to New Y^rk tht iinJcrs,,.,,! ^v.nt lo .0 FJ^vn ■■>rrc6f. .\3 I'm into xhe moral s1u,t b^zr.ess my.,]r, I g.nerally go to l.«rnun,8mor,il ll„.e:,a,, *here only mora! peoiil^ „ir .dmiltel p,-. 1 c»Ij-on Wednes.lHjr arternoons. But ibij time I thot 1,1 go 3c 3eo f-'l. E.i h.M been «ci:noiit on t!,e stage for n.iny year?, 1 |,er« U viiris ',„n,„v, ,.l,o„l l,i3 actin, Engliihmen Rinrally hV'Cvin that I,e is f.ir H.per.or to Jli.t.r .M.icr.a.Iy ; l„u on one pint all apree, an J th it I3 il„t E.I. urawe like a sii ox team. Ed. wa3 .ictin at X.blu's Gar.iing, which wA. considerable more l.ke a par=ter than a girding, b,.t U-t that par^ I -ut down in lie pit, took out n,y spectacles .4 Mm-n.-nce 1 peroosin : even.M's bill. TI .■ awiince was all-firedlarge A il,e lo,e3 was full of the elaty of Xew Yoi k. Several opery glasses was level.! ',- .„e bv ti..thum-3 f.ire,, darters, b.t I didn't let on a, tho'lnotic;! it tho of the w''.''f '' t ''''' °"' '' "''°"' '''''• ''"^ ^^-^ ''^'^ ^^^ nul.by I did take ou oiyshteen-dollar silver watch 4 b-andU , it ' '^ , 1 I' :.: ^ ''"^ ''^■''^^'l '''^''-'' -""out 3,.-eat:n « hair. m.bbv I did take ou my sixteen-dollar silver watch 4 b-andisbit round aiure tlinn was necessary. But the best of ns his o:ir weaknesses* if a man has gewelry let idnj show it. As I wi.3 peroo,in the b 11 a grave young man who sot near me, a^ed me if Td ever seen Forrest dan-e the E==ence cf Old VirKin.,y ;- " He's immense in th.t, ' sed the younr, ..."n. " He also dees a fair .. ..mpion jig,- lie joun;; man .ontiMurd bill 1,1s I.ig Thirg is the Essercf "( Old Mrgiiiny." Pt? I, "Fair y- "i>, do you knew what IddcTxiih yi. u if you was my 3i:d?" " .Vo,'' sez he. " Willi, "..sez I, "lu apjiiLt ycur .fiinernl lo-mi,rrcw.arlcrro(.u & tl.c Ao.'/ii ihou'd be rtaily : Yciir too srciirt to live ou this jenrlh." He uidnl try any mere of Lis capers on me. L'ut another pus.sylaLei muss in- dividocul, in a red rest and patent leihcr boots, told me lis name was £ill .^s'orA und me 10 Icud I'm 50 i.ents till early in the mornin. J told bm Idprobly send itrcuLdtoLim 'xfore he retired to his virlooiis couch, but if I didn't he might lock for it neit fall, a? soon as I cut my corn. The Orchestry was now fiddling wiih all their might, * us ll:e [leiile didn't understand anything about it they ap) laudid versifrussly. Presently, Old Ed Cum out. The Jilay was OlLeller or Mi-re cf Vtciss. OtbelJer was wiitby \Vm. i-halsjiecr. The scene is laid in Vcnuis. Otleller was a likely man k was a ginral in the Veniss army. He eloped wiih Desdemony, a darter of the lion. Mister Frabantio, who represented one of tie b;ck diotricks in tie Vene:h K.rl . oin a 1 the cookin and washin. Desdemony. in fac», doL't h.-tv ,0 f -ter ,0 wash h'» ^-neless youth n.^med Hoderigo A 111 .rT""' '' ''"^"- ^''''^" «""^ '■'"^•^'^ "■-'• ) "e thus go, money coutf to carry out his onprincipled -keem. Mike Cassio, a Irl ma . .3 selected as a tool by Ia,o. .Mike .as a clever feller* c.^Ricer in him ,f "7- "" ''''' '" '"'' ''" '^^"' ''°'^^*"^ * "'O- Hoored toTi'ri U ", ?'' ";■"-■ ""'" '^™™'''" ^"'"^ ■=-"• '"go -J""- Mike dnnk with bim, I.go ,'yly throwin h.s whisl.y over his shoulder. Mike g,.ts as drunk as a hi!ed_owl U allow3 that he c.n lick .yard full He e at en the'sti.ge. He gits .'".ve- h'.indrd dollars a r.ite .t his bo.ird A wa-!,'n._ I niyh I tad such a th you :f yii u.. he Forrest in my Gar lirg ! on a ;ot bed. t'l.e .ye was gcuged out, a/pe rt^.r.. f Lis ncse was Several years ago Bill McCracken lived in Peru, Indian.,. [NVe were .en on the Wabash. On; darsolrbodT toU W tW ^ ."f '^ T" '' "" ''"''' '"''' ^'^ '■'"''''' "^^'^'^ -' ''-° '" "'^ ->'"S blacksmith at Lognnsport, said he wou'd kIvc h'm IcCr ,.l!e \ '^' ,,'"•'"' "'"^ '■""''"* '" " * "°"'^ ^'' '" •'•'' ''^'^ '''■'•'' -"'''^. '"'' '''^"' tracted ft of ..ness if he would Jus. .::^z^:\^:^jz "i::;:t '^o 'z:!:':!^'t: Sji r^'z ?f ■^-v"'^ ' " , ott. In a few days he was brought o , n 'a bur " T"" , • "' "'°'"*' "''" " '"' "'^ ^'^ ^^«">-' '^^ ' l-H'T 1 fe,. As Le .aid •ght ho..,. ,n a burge'.u,. condition, himself, be r.l Tned from Loj..n=port a'clmnged man, 10 M03E3 TH; SVSaY; OS THS DHQfflSSD D7:il CHAPTER Eli?,v. Mj Slo.-v opens in iLe classic prve.n 17 Summers. She Ims y,H sot down to the piany, and is warblia th ■ pop'er balU,l called bmells of the Noti.n," in which she tells hr.v with pensi^ thou-ht | sl.e wanderd by a C heat shore. The sun is seltia in its horizon, and I 'ts porgushght pores in agolden mcllcrHalJ thr.,u,'h li,e winders and i makes the young lady twict as beautiful nor what she was before which I 'S cnnccessurv She is magnifccntly drcs.=ed op in a Ber—, hasfjue I wub pcplin trimmins, M ire Antique, Ball .Morals and 3 ply carpeting' '■ Also, considerable gauz-. Her dress c.mt:iins IG flounders and her ' III. I'llAPTEl! Tub P;aLT Fori.nD. Sixteen lonir and wearrrp.rj i,., ■ .1- last char,!.r too^ ,7ace ?:;,""> ' 'T ""' """^ """^"^^ - i.ne look.n teller i,. r.sset boots and a bufTM . ov ' and obsarves . " Old mm ! go down siairs take charge of this Bote I' „, . , . - - "^-.....^.i oiiu .in ; Owdashus cuss ! " ve'leil til.! ,',. ,.; shoes ,s red morocUer, with gold spangles onto thorn. Presently she ! do mur-rer-dcr-r-r - •■ ' ' jumps u,, w.th a wild snort, and pressin her hr.nds to her b-ow, she j ■' Skurcelv ■•,.., , , exclaims : " Methinks I see a voice !" I . -'""f"!^ , .^bsarred the slran., ., A noble youth of 27 stmmers enters. He is attired in a red shirt and i words"ll""'wrar°J --''rer'ne J t^'' '"'; ■ "' ""''"" ^ ''°''"-'' '''" '"'' blacK trowsis, . hich -t air turned up orer his boots ; his ha- which it o ^ernei to. much. • 13 a plug, being cockt .. lo one side ol ■ercoat rushes forored Reiir- to the starbud bulk-hod' I'll ' iWiy iviih thee or I shall .jer, and Le drew a diamond-hilted his classical bed. In sooth, he was a heroic lookin person,witha fineshape. Grease, in its b:>rmiest days near pro- juced a ti.cre hefty civileer. Gaj'u upon him admiiiuly f r a spell, Elizv (for that was her ainiej .irganizcd her sclfinto a tabloo, i sa'edas foller.s. " Ha! do meeyes rt-ceive mee.'ir' sight ? Is it some dr.arBs ? No, [ reckon not 1 That frauio I tbemst^>re close I those nose ! Yes, it i.s me owi, me only Mosis : " He (.Muses) folded her to his hif, with the remirk ih it he wis ■' a him- key boy," "'[i.vrrr,;^ ii. W.\s MoSKs CF XoBLK Biniu ? Moses wns ftreman of Eugine Co N'o. 4). Fortj's fellers had jus bi:i bavin an anual re-union with Fiftv'.s f liers, on tiic d-.iy I introjuce Mos ■_; 1 ' my reader.-, and Voses had his arm • lull of tiofees, to wit : 4 scalps, .I eyes, 3 fingers, 7 eais, (which be chaived oD"; and several half and quarter sec- tions of noses. When the fau- Elizr recovered from hu^ deli^rbt at meeti ; Moses, he said : — •■ How hast tin- battle gunest ? Toll me!" " VVc cliawej 'em up— that's wi.at " I'eople ! • sed the stranger, '■ I'm the Juke d'Moses ' l^hou'! l.v to scem^ttl'adilhol^" Ihc unfurtiiit m m. e.iffi?,/ ^ " Old boss !'■ sed a passenger, ' me'.hinks thou art blowin !" whart- ' Ji'On the Juke cut orf his bed also. " Oh tii.it I should live to see my. Self a del body' " screamed the un-) fMlnit m,n, "Rat don't print any' verses about my deth in the news- , papers, for if you do I'll haunt ye !" ' Peo, le :■ sed the Juke, " I alone can save you from yon bloody piruti lio' a peck of oats: • The oats was brought and the Juke, boldly luountinthejibpoop, throwed them onto the towp:iih. The pirut rapidly ■■'.':> roached.chucklin with i3endish do- light at the idee of increiisin nis iU- gJ'lea gains. But the leadin boss of the pirut ship .stopt suddent on comin to the oits, and commenst for to de- v;ur them. In vaiu the [iru's ^ ure and throwd stones and bottles at the h),=s-he wouldn't budge a inch. -Meanwhile th. Sary Jane, her bosses cu the full j ;mp, was fist leivin the pirut ship ! "Onct agin do I es.ape deth !" 3 d the Juke between his clencht •.oeth, still on the j'bponp. ,,,,,., , ,• -....did!' said the boll Mosrs. I thank , e g„ds ! ' se i the fai.y R-izy. " Thou did-., excellent w ki, " Ir" f " ^ '""—>. •^'3'" '- bed conndinlv agin h we,k,., ' dost know I , .m'imes think thou istes. of noble biVtb -' ^^•_No. -.n,.,».Mlyk.,e',Uko„,f,,isself. -. Vou don't .ay " Indeed d< I: Yjiir d.a 1 rr-j, if .• • ;totI,er night." '' »1 g-axJf..tuer s sp.rr.t cumest to me ,be " Oh no, T guess ii'.s a mistak •," sed Mos.-s. " I'll bet two dollars and a q larter he dM ' said, ' ilcsos is a ftisguised Juke! "• '■ Yon mean Duke," said Jiusis. ' Djst not the actors all call it Juke ! " s.iid That settled the milter. '•I hav thought of th's thing afore,' ,:,!d M.>" it is so, then thus it must be ! 2 !i or not 2 V, 1 ('II.\l'r- The WisD u i; IV, RKitja.N'. rei lid K'ii.-. " He she. abstrac Which I But cnulf. life I l,fe. -you're too tnanv f t m» I some of his ■■•■.,_,. yeller hai-, -•,.mpl on thp H .or sev.il gone. The Juke Was Mosos the Sassy ! ■i'ts it v,a5 ! He had bin t i France and now he w.is h)mo agin in liostin, vihich fra\e birth to a liunker Hill!! He bad some trouble in gitiing himself acknowledged as Juke in France, as the Orleans Dienasty k Borebones were leriiest bim.bi" he fiarlly conkered. Elizy knowd him right off, as oiieof his ears and a part of his nose h.ad bin chawed off in his lights witli opposition firemen durin boyhood's sunny hours. They lived to a grern old age, beloved by all, both grate and small. Their children, of which they have numerous, often go up onto the Common and see the Foi;nt .in ^l|^,■|t. This is my l-t uitompt at wiitii, a Tail *c a i,s far from boin porfock •im"8 and w.. •",' '''' ''*"" '""^""'"^ f""*^ '» ^e*" »'>" "' '• cases out oflO they can '• """^ "" I ,■;'"'" '"'""' ^''^ «« "'"rr-n as the Dessert of Sarah, or as joyus as a (lower garding, my objeck will have oin accomplished, and more too u .d^y. Sow. If sow I He tore out INltEVItV.' VUH FKES.._.ST LINCOLN I iuv no [olitics. .V.iry a one. In. luU m tlie bisineji IM was 1 Si osc I shoiiia hollor versirtriisly in Uie streets nt tiite and go h me to Detsy Jane .-nicllm of coal ile and gin, in the mornin. I should go to tlie Pules arlv. I 5I, -'i!d stay tliert all day. I shonl J see to it tljat my nabiirs was th,ir, I sliould git carrigej to take the kripples, tlio infirm nnd th-, indignant tlmi. 1 should be on guard agin fraads and sicb. 1 should be on the look oit lor the infaniu3 lise of the e-eray, got upjeat li" 1 elecsh.in for perlitica! cfTt ck. When all was ove- and my candvdate was elected, I shoald move heving & arth—; o to speak- until I got orlice, w jich if [ didn't git a orfice I should turn round and aboo? the Administration with all !ny mile and maine. But ' ,11 not in Ihebisniss. I'm in a fa.- more respectful bisniss nor what pollertics is. I wo ildu't giv two cents to be a Cocgresser. The wuss insult I ever received na-- when sertin citizens of Baldinsville a.\ed me to run fur the Legislater Sez I, " .My frends, dostest think I'd sloop to that there? ' They t ."rned as wiite as a sheet. I spo';-. in my most orfu'k-st tones, i thev knowd I wasn't to be triiied with. They slunkid out of site to onct." Ther,-i, havin no I'Olitics, I made bold to viiit (Hd Abe at his hjiii- stid in Sprin.'field. I found the hold feller in his parler, surrounded bv a [lerfeck swium of orfice feekers. Knowin he had been capting of a flat boat vn ii:e roarin Misiissippy I •Se/. I .., '■ a pa'rii ■■ ab-v them things, sir I " " There's a putty big crop of patrits this season, .unt il„rs Pouire ' , sez r, when anla^ r crowd of o.'liss seekers i^orei in. The house, door- yard barn * wood.bed wasnowHll fill, and when another crowd c"m I told 'em not tog, away for want of room a. the hog pen wa. still empty. On» patrit from a small town in «i.hygan w.nt up on top the ho„se, got into the chimney and slid down into the parler where Old Abe was endeverin to keep the hungry pack of orCce-seekers from ckawm h,m up alive without benefit of clergy. The minit he reached th. fire-place he jumi.t up, brusht the soot out of his -yei, and yelh-d • ■non't make eny (intraent at the Si.unkville postoffiss til! you're read my |.a|.ers. All the respectful men in our town is sig -s to that there dockyraent ; " " I. K,d G3d ! ' oride Old Abe, ■■ they cpm upon me from the ski,- -down the chimDeys, and from the bowels of the yc.irth ! " He hadn't more'n got them words out of his del.ket mouth b..fore two fat offiss- se-kers from Wisconsin, in fudeverin to crawl at.veea hi« legs for the purpuss of applyin for the tollgateship at MiUaw k v, upsot the President eleck* he would hav .-me sprawlin into the tire-pl.vce if I hadn't ca^.-ht him in t'jos'j arm = i:u; : I,; thought I'd address h'm in sailor lingo, so S'zl "Old Abe, ahoy I Let out yer main-suls, reef hum the f ire- 'astlei throw yer jib- poop over- board ; Shiver my timbers, my har- ly I " [\. I>. This is ginuini mari- ner langw dge. 1 know, becawi I've s'-'.j eailnr'jdays acted out by them New 'i'ork theater fellers.] Old Abe Ickt ui. quite^ci^-j ^ sez, '• Send in yer petition,by.4 by. I can't i>osrii- bly look at.it now. Indeed, I can't. It's onjiossibie sir : ' " Mr. Linkin, who do yoj s|'-(t I aT?"se'' I. '■A orfice-seeker, t^ I 3 s^re :" se 1 he. '■ Wall, sir, seu I, " you's never moie mistaken in your life. You hain't gut a or!;3s I'd take under no circumstances. I'm A. Ward. Wa.t figgers ia my pon'eshun. Im the father of Twins, and they ook like Uie-iioth of them, I cum to pav a frendly visit to the Presidenteleck of the Tnited Sta'es. It' so be y,„, wants to see me say so— if not "sav Eo,i rm orf like a jug handle." -Mr. Ward, sit down, I am gla " Rei.ose in A'oral.ati's Euzzum I „„ ._doe bein to git orf a goak at my eipense - -i^U^ar up and ur^- „-:----- -;- i^^o.e conversation another swarm of ornce-seekersarroveicm PS Z^Su' ■ '™ """''^ '"■" "''''- '- -""'J collect r A wriVgT a'r'Ts^^ wl,h Vm . f ; " ' """^ "'^'^ '''"' ""le to Shake hand^ mXZ i:rr ", '''"'"'''" "^^^ ^"» ?«-- -'^ ^- premise r, »ll , 7""^ ""'' '""^ "^"^"'^ °^"««^<"' "i"^ orfice s ek-' "■nVfT7': '"'''"""^^''- '■»"-- with Old Abo. One man from br Old Abe and addrest me ,as •' The Prahuyrie Flower of the West '" Thmksl.o,, wantaotlissputtybad. Another man with a gold beded p::r?th;t'::"':'^;f.^'^'" -"--^-dwashi^tonAS; ^ Sez I, " grpiare, you wouldn't take a i', would you V '' to see you, hir.'' sed one of the orfice seeke.r, Lij -IIMJ [lO-t-ofTH if you could git adiii more'c ttood him uo strate b;f'ore another man c ira Ciashiu down the chimney, his hea.i sirikin me vilentlv agin the inatds ^wi iT^stratin my voi- uptoous form onto the (!oor. ".Mr, l.inkin, "shoutiJ iheinfatooated be- ing, " my paper- is signed by every clergyman in (.11 town, and likewise the koolmastti I ' Sez f, " you egrejis ass," gittin up .1 brushin the ilust from my eyep, " I'll sign your papeis with this bunch of bones, if you don't be a little more keiful how you make my bread bas- ket a depot in the fut';,-. How do you like that air perfumery '■" sez I sLuving my list under his nose, " Them's the kind of papers I'll giy ■ you ! Them's the paper's you want : "_But I workt.hard for the ticket ; I toiled night and day : Tiie patrit eliould be rewarded ! ' '■' Virtoo," 8cd I, holdin' the in- tatooted man by the coat-collar, '• virtoo, sir, is its own reward. Look Btme!' He did look at me, and 'pialed be4 my gase. " The fact is.'' 1 continued, lookin round on the hungry crowd, " there ig scarcely a otfiss forevery ile lamp carrid round durin' this campane. I wish thare was. I wish thare wa 'urrin missions to be filled on varis lonely Islands wiere eppedmics ra^o •'ncessa-.tly, and if I was in Old Abe's |dac I'd send every mother's son of you to them. What air you here for ?" I contin- nered, warmin up considerable, " can't you giv Abe a minil's peace ? Don't you see hesworrid most to death ! Go home you miserable men, go home k til! the sile I Go to i^edlin tinware— go to choppin wood- go to biliu' 9006— stuff sassengers— black boots— git a clerkship on sum respectable manure cart— go round as original S-viss Bell Ringers- bo.-um ' origenal and only ' Campbell Minstrels— gi :• lectur'n at no dollars i\ nite— imbark ia the jieanut bizniss— icn/f fcr the Ledger- saw off your legs ind go round givin concerts, with techin appeals to a charitable public, printed on your bandbil's— anything for a honest liv- ing but don't come round here drivintJld Abcerazy by your outrajis cut- tings un I Go borne. Stand not upon the order of yourgoin, but go to 'Ct! Ifin five miuits from this time," ?ez I pulliu' out nij new sii- L^en dollar huntin cased watch and brandlsbin' it before their eyej, " E? in live minits from this time a single sole ot you remains on these here premises, 111 go out to my cage near by, and let my Boy Constructor loose ! & ef he gits amu.ig you, you'll tli ink old Sol feri. 10 lias cum again '. I'ltllenl Liaro' 12 an.i no n.isliike' CItai ou! jou Tarmiuts: Y...: vjjht lo t-v ie;n tlii-m scamper, Mr. FaT. Tm; ruu orf as tho Fatjii hisse'.t w,,< aner them Kiib a red hot tcD-rrongpJ iiitcLlyrk. I:. iv_- minh lb jrcn;. is(-3 vrii» ilfar. ' lluwlv.ri I fvfr rcjar y ;., Mr. Wa.' i, fjr v , -r kinJDfi,? seJ Old ALc, ,idvancin ond sLi.kia m* wa-ojlr ly tie aniid. " Uow kin I CV' r r"; ny you^ i'.i !"' " I'y giviii the wLuli.' cujr.try a good, sound adojiiiictration. i;y pocrirr ile ;i[.on tho IroaWed watura, Njrth ard Scut!.. By pursooiu' Bpat:io;ic, fiim, anl j ist cor.r.-e, and then if acr .S;»t. w.idi« toie^ide Ifl Vru Ses^=L !" ' ' ' How 'ixjiit jjy fabiait, Mis'er Ward?" f-d ihe. "Fill it up with Showmen, sir' Showmen is deT( ij of I'ldiiic. Ttiev hniu'i g.,t any pi incij les ! Tl,. y kcow .;ow to catet for the public They kaow w1,m th- public wmts, No.-,h k South Showmen =ir ii hone.t men. Ef yo„ doubt Ihdr lit-rary ability, look at their postm, a see small bills ! Ef you want a Cabinit .3 is a Cabinit fill it up w.tL showm^n, but don't call on me. The mir.il wax l^..?er perfe-hun mu D'l be permitted to ro down while there', a drop of blood in these Tama A. L.nk.n, 1 wiah you well ; Ef Power, or T\-alcutt wus to pick o;t aoodvl for a beautiful man, I scar:ely t!:i„k- therV. sculp you ■ ha ef you Jo the fair thing by your country vorii make a. putty a nngel a3 any o' . s! A. Linkia use the talents' wl,ich Nature has put '■•'o you J u.shus'y and firmly, and all will be wtU I A. Liukin aduo '" He shook ue cordyully by the hand -wo e.changol ..leters, so wo c Mid g.-,2o upon each oth.r'< raiments whea far ajparel Oloo, which ni-sds everything, VVo:;- d»!r if ;t will men] a sinner's Wicki J wa?.e. (Inprotiiptojgoak.) Zoary'a Fert is to be a fem.'iile cir- ciiB feller. Vy Fort is the grate moral sho^ bisniss i riia ouoice fumerly litera- •uor for the noos;)aper3. That's what's the matter with mc, •ic.ic., 4c. So I mite go on to a indwiiaiie extent. T, i :t Fve endeverd to do tling, which th ly w.isn't mv Fort. The •U .'."?'•'" V""""--""" •'' '■^'' » o^'J.'^'-s cuss who ct. . b.de f,.i .t '", ■^-i*,i^. ^^\^'< .irtcmw re'cool fron !ht t'lnawl. isn' iu mv tvat k k-aw>d '1 row « , i " , , ' •"" ^'^ ' ""* .Vonrt.-.Nerer Uo.Vt do nothin which isn't yoitr Fort, for ef you d, •• • --Z 1,- myj-r.leS>ir goo'UorlilMl >" ,'1I iinlyourseif splashinrounJ in the Kanawl, ^^.geratlvely speakin ; unto you p.atyhery.- Se^ he, ■ V, si. in, OIJ wai ilggers," ,»reupon I went for him, but he cawt me powerful on the°hed i ckt me t'.P'w the tent into a cow panur. He pirsood the attack mg me . .■ J a mud pudJl... A, I aro.o & rung out my drencht garmint; I koncluded fitin wasn't my iFort. II- cow rize the k jrtin upon Seen 2nd : It is rarely seldom tliat I seek consolation in the Flowin Bule. iut in a certain town in Injianny in the faul of 18 , my orgin grinder pot s'ck with the fever k died. I never felt so ashamed in my life 4 I thowt I'd List in » fjw swallers of si.tlin strengthin. Kon-equents was I hiited in so much I didn't Eackly Know whare bowts I was. I turnd my livin wild beests of Pray loose into the street and spilt all iny wax wurks. I then bet I could i^Iay boss. So I hitched myself to aKanawl bote, there bein two ether bosses hitcht on also, one behind and another ahead of me. 'ihe driver hollerd for us to git up. and we did. But the bosses bein cnused to sich a arrangement begun to kick A- squ»al and rair up Kon- scquents was 1 was kickt vilently in the stummick A back, and presuntly I found myself in the Kanawl with the ether bcs=f = , kickin iyellin like a tribe of Cuscaroorus savijis. I was res- coed, . self, he looked around f.r one w';o ws= K- '»">th i - ^ -\ -«_ meek young m.n from Tr.mbull Coun.y-who ag'eed "10^^ foVhis . .ard m praying. For a while all went smoothly, but the boarJire- master firntshed his table 00 -oor!, thai the boarders b-gan to gram- j.e uni to leave, and the olhe.- morning the praying boarder actually ' ttruck"' Sjirethinj li'ie the folio -ng dialogue ccurred at the table : Landlorl—Tf;x vfu p-gy, Mr. 'Mild? .Vi.'.i— Xo, sir, I will not. taiiUori—V\hy not, Mr. Mil J .' Miil — U don't jay, sir. I can't pray on such rictuals as these. And unless you biud yourself in writing to si' a better table than you have done for the last three weeks, nury another prayer do you ret oul^ of me ! And that's the way the matter stool at latest adrices. 13 JO 7 IN THE H)U3E OF WARD Dk.. S,b,,_I ,ake my pea ia hau.i to iuturm yo . that I am i^ a s.a e of gra.ebhss, a„,l tr.ut.Ue.e liaes will fiad youinjoyi,, „,e , '^ ^.■i.n, m r.^,.v:aatej. I ve found , ho ^mortal waters of ^0^ t ,,ea , an. an, aa lirnher an.l frisk, as a two-year old a.e. fad in .be futer them hoys which se. to a,e " poup, old Bawld h.d ■ wiU do so at the peril of their ha.ard, indindooally. Va. very happy A ax myself" = , not.drertm ? •' 4 ..ahia wl.hinto n,» s.z " i, ai, ■ ■■ but when I look at them sweet little critter, an-i hear Vm soiawV [ know ,t ,3 a rea!ity_2 reality,. I ^ar s.y-and I fe.d ,ay ' ' I returned from the Suajme; Camnn pane with a:v wax works and livin wildiHees's of Pray in the eaH. pa;; of ihi.;;;-;^' Tne peple o, UaMinsviUe n,et me cordnlly and I 'immejitly commo'n; ,:;:■;: ;"""'v'"""'^'- "'"°"^" ^"^ whi,e\ was down t,, U, tavurn ostm my sh.n, agin the bar-room fire & amuzin .ho krowi w.i. sum of my advenlar. who .hood cm in bare hnlvd A terrible cv cued b., Hill S,ok... Who sez, se^ he. - OM .Vard, thares , H- o - - up to your houfc " ' 6 » i "ui.i Sei I. ■■ William, how so ? " Sez he, " Bust my g'zjud, but its gratedoius," iihen belirfi-d as if hee'J killhisi'U. Sez I, riain and put!j,i on a austeer look, " William [ wjo !;int be a f,.ol if [ ha 1 common tents." But he kept onlarhn til! hewas black in the face, wh.^n he fell over on to the bunk where the hostler sleeps, and in a still small voice sed, " Twitis I " [ ashure you gents that the grass JiJn't prow under my feet on my way home, & I was foUercd by a enthoosi- astic throng ,.f my feller sitterzens, who burrard („■ Oil Ward at the top of their voices. I found the house '-■:i->ck full ofp^ple. Thare was Mis Square Baxter an] her three grown up .iirters, lawyer Perkinses wife, Tdberthy Hipley, youn? Ebon Par- suns, Deakutt Sim nuns folks, the Skoolmaster, Doctor Jordin, etse'tery ctsettf ry. Miss Ward was in the w>st room, which jines the kitchin. Mis ' 'J'lare Baxter was mixin suthin in a lipper before th_. kitchin fire, and a ^mil! amy of female wimit were rushin wildly round the hiuse wi.li botth.s of camli.-e, peaces of finnil, ie. I never seed sich a hubbub in' my n itral born dase. I cood not st.av iu the west room only a minit, ,o strung was out and ceas-d my dubbil barrild gun. Whatupoi airth a'^themau'' s-z Tali- alive, what air voti doin ? A ^he grab. I „,« i .i .he matter with you ?, he continfe^ed. " "'' '"' '"" " Twins, marm, " sez I, '• tn-ius ! " ■• I know it," sez she, cov.rin her pretty <:.ce wi-l, her apun. » all sez I, that's what the matter with me I ■■ ;• Wall, put down that air gun, you pesky old fool," sed she .No, marm, sez I, " this is a Xe.shunal dav. The Mory of this ."d ""seTl d '" 't^;''"^*'" "^-^ ^"" ^"^- OayondTrwoo ! sit J, seJ [, drawn, myself up to my full hite and speakin in a show acta votce, ■■ w.ll I ,;„ a .Vashunal saloot , " ,ayln which I tared ler, coverin her face u ;th my feelins, so I ruiht .'thy Ripley. "Sokes . "What's ^ ' ^"^s, ■■ aed r, " . eppi30de3,-w lying abowt H po .ads-jintlv j 1^'^ A perfeck coop d? tat, '■ sed ri,e schoolmaster. I " E pi tribus unum in proprietor persony. " sed I, thinkin I'd let him ;>ow I understood f .rrin langwidges as well as he did, ,, I wasn't a skoolmaster. I " It is indeed a momentiouj event.' sed yjun^ Ri.en I'a-sun. v^\o has been 2 .| larters to iLe Akademv ' '• I never heard twins called ly'that name >fore " ..d 1 " b^t I spose its all rite." - . . i ;" We shall soon have Wa.^h en-iff.' sed the.ed.vr of the Hald^nsville fl"?.f o/i.Vr.'y who was lookin over a. bundle of exchange paper- ''' 'he oonie., '■ to apply to the legislater for City Charter ? " "Good for you, old man ! " sea [, '■ giv that air a conspickius place in the next Bustle.- " How redicklus, " .»od Pretty Susan Flotch her knlttia work i larEn like all poshes; " Wall, for my part, " sed Jane Maria Peasly wh) U the cro^ses^ old m.ade m the world, " I tlrak you all act like a ptvck of fo)!s." SvT r, Mis. Peasly, air you i parent ' " Sez she, • .\'o, I aiul." ■ "" Sez I, " m:.'. P..-ajIv. vjii never will be." Sue left, We sot there talkii-.,' i larfin until " lh'> switc'iia h)ur of ni:e, when grave yards yawn & Josts troop 4:b, " as old Bill S'aikespire aptlee ob- sarves in his dram,- of John Shep- rird, esq . or the Mori! House .Breaker, when wj broke ir> k dis- buried. .Mather i children is a doin well ; i as Res-/i isbuns is the order of the day I will f.-el obleegei if you'll insurt the fjlleriu. Whereas, two EppisoJ-s has hap. pined up to the unnersined'ji house which' is Twins; k Whereas r like this stile, side twins bein of the male perswashun i bitl' 'ooys , there 1 Be it Rnoh-cd, 'that to them nabers who did the fare thing by sade Eppisodes my heart felt thanks is djo. /I'osv.'i-,-./, that I doo most hartily thank Engine Ko. N"o 17 who under the impreshun from the fiss at my house on thatauspishus nite that thare was a konllagration goin on, kum galy- antly to the spot, but kindly retVand from squirtin. ^ Rcsolve.i, that from the Bjttum of my Sole do I thank the Baldin,- Tille brass baad fur givin up the idea of Sarahnadia m>, both on that great nit t « sinse, ReialvfiJ, that my thanks is doo sever.il members of the IJabiiniviiie meetiu house who fur ;i whole dase hain't kalled nn a sinful skolfer or intreeted me to mend my wicked wase and jine sade meetia hou^e to onct. Resohcil, that my Boo/tu-n teams wi'.h meny kind emosliuns towards the follerin individoouls, to whit namelee— Mis. S.piare Baxter who Jeneruaiy refjozed to take a sent for a bottle of camfire lawyer Per- kinses wile who rit sum versis on the Eppisodes ; the Editor of the Baldinsvill- /?u-.Vo/ Liberty, who nobly as3i.J'P,"'l let the horses trej on you, diJnt vo ,, my son !" Th e eats bis wi-i.e, with a knife and a fork. Peple of this kind •houlu ii ." "l!!" , "",''"'' ''''''^ '^""''^'^ '^'^^ ^^^"^^^^ 7' "ng n.an's sittrw. me of He eats bis witi.e. with a knife and a fork. Peple of this kind ihoulu I* encurrid;;cd. I [urpoie 'is elth I " {Icul •/./uics) WbatcouU I do biit mndesfy get 'jp and express a fervint hope that tbe Atlantic Cable woulJ bind the two co';ntries s: 1! more .ciosely together ' The lan'U rd said n.y src-fch was f,;il of orifc-inality, bat his idee was the old stage coach was m^re safer, and hcth/; peple would indorse that ojiinion in doo lime. I'm gettin' on txcecdin'wtU in Lo:.don. I -ce now, ..oTever, tha' I ma ie a mistake ia crJ'-rin my close afore I left Ltm". Ibetrcithis the taler in our little villige owed m. for a pig, and I didn't seenET other way of gettin' ir.y pay. Ten yearsago these close wo-jld no doubt have been .''atb'ii'bie, and [.ernajs they would be ekaliy sim'Iar ten years hens. Dut now they're jiff'res- tly. The taler said he kaow'd tbey was all right bcca ise he taC a brc- thfr in Wales who kept him Infor- med about London fashias reg'lar. This was a iiifamous falsehood. Eu: as the baliud says (which I heard a get'l'raan in a new soot of black close and white kid gloves sing :' j- tber night 1, Never don't let us de;- pise a man because 1. wearsaRag- gid Coat ! I don't know as we do by the way tho' we gf.-.'relly get out of his way pretty raj .d : prob'iy on account of the jiiiy which tears o'ur bosoms for his onhappy coniitioa. This last remar': is a sirkas-.ic and witfcerin, thrust at them bloted I epie " !;o lire i.. ^-ilded saloons. I tho't r 1 eiplain my meania' to ycj. 1 frehcEtiy have to eiplaia the meat;, iu'ofmy rt marks. Iknowone m.in and he's a man ofvarid 'complish- .nients— who often reads my Hrtif Irs over 2 ) times afore he can aiake anything of 'cm at ill Our skoo;- :i.a3ter to home says this isapecoo- lererity o:gnnay;.s. .My wife jays it i-- a peccule'^i.y of infernal -^on- Sfis. She's a excciJin- practical 'voman. >^'i: act, who,, he was rur,!. l.home on „>hutter. His taam. met the' so Hum proces.:on M the.door, and afer keerfully looking her offspring- over, , he saM, •■ ffy son, I see how it is distinctuallr. Vou'.-eVeen '-I.n round a Trashiu' C.sh.en. YouVent in at the place where e ....more clearer Kutr was ,.rry ^r him, and 1 Jent fnd nuss:d'ti:; to' II if Vn ,■':"''" °"^'"' ^''^" '■""« "'"'" '° ">e war, Ij 0, h m I d he a father to him n.yself. He su.ilt a sicklv =a,,I.. ai^d -«.d I d .already been wass than two fathers to him - 1 w,a here cbsarve that ftin orto be alius avided, eicep in ,.,ireem CH,es. My prmcple is. .faman .mites me on the ri- ht cheek I'll , ,rn wasn t a.I r.gl ,, M punch b^. hed. Eut utin is m,s'ble bi^nis, gea'r ally sj>eakin, and whenever any en- terprisin co'intryman of mine cums over here to scoop np a Briton in Ibe prize ring I'm alius eicessive- ly tickled when he gels scooped his.'-elf, which it ia a ad fa.k has thus far been the case- my only sorrer beia'that t'other feiler'wasa't scooped likewise. It's diiT'.ently w ith scuilia boats, which is a maaly no -t, aad I can ^ouly explain Mr. Hami.'d resuat defeat in thiacoun- try on the grounds that be wasn't -itd to Lritish water, I hope this espianation Will le cntir. ly .-ati--- CiCfry to all. i ma little sorry you've got po. lines over here, but I shall not diskuss' em with nobody. Tef.r me to pieces with wild omnibus bos- ses, and I wont t diskuss 'em. I've had <,uite emu-fof 'em at home, thaLk you. I was at Dirmingham t'other night, and went to the great meetin' for a few niinits. I haJc't been in the bail long when a ttcrn lockea' artisan said to me. ■' You are from Wales ? '' Xo, I told him r didn't think I w.is. A higgyis tho't Sasht over me. It was of ttat onprincipled •a'er, and I said, " Has my cloth- ia'a 'Welcby ajipearance /.'.. -klis mishood th " i;,^r^:' ^=;^ -"her little V ay.. Ifs a -'boo 1 who said to t.e one' ve^"'' "' "^'- '"""S "^ -" °- -i«^- a gentle cocktail at the village mv' n w^' "''.?'"' "^ ^'^^"™'" "•^'•'^ Jangwidge. " lo home oil ""^ '"-"^l-o =^"1 to me in these verv '-^p'•t.Lwd';^:^b;"^'^^T,•""'"'■^^ '^^-^-^ ='-"'>- ■' "e.sy Jane is my wif.'s fr,;, „? ^ ''-^''^ '='"^'' "''' '"■ ' '''^ son ,„ ,i,„„^ .. T"' '^^'"! °»™^- gentle Jooth, and I permits no J'/t/ in' a IVdihij uiiearav.Cti " Not by no means," he answer- td, and then he said, " Aad what is your opinyin of the present cri- sis ? " I said, " I don't zackly knew. Have you got it very bed ?'' over England like the Cymoon of the I'orson to allood to her as 'j ",'/'""' •'^'°"'' "''^ ' rermil I am it principally my C V f" '^ "" ^''"^^^ ^'"'^' ^* ^ «us.. J^il^^f^^'L^':^r^^ observations I scorn and gust, and r must polish you oif. 'n' his CO if there ich lis- He was a able-bodied young man ano, rcrjo^vin' his coat he !n^. .;,.„< -r r ' .—— s ""»" ■ "' ""••'" 'f f '^•tuted to be ground to powder? . said Yes : ii taere was i Pn^vi. • j. i,.-""- i« i^onuei.- ■ford me creater ,.'ea-.-V -••''''' " ''"''•'■' °°"''"' ^""'J rigi^t eye, causit/me'to make'^ rl'T''" '""=" ^*'°''" '■'"'^ i'>'° «.- hadn't no idee that the ene^ ^ ""■'*' '''^° "^« f^^^^-MftCe. I went for h^m I " '""''° ""' °'^'"^'''- ^^ ^ ™"i^ ^ an 1 went lor him, in ravtherv ur^s =ivi„ c lived near br, and I win -imf, ^ "^ ""' °^ '-=• '''^ f'"^">" • ' ^ ' """ --""'■'>• '-'ate 15 minits had oa!y eUp.,! after the He replied, " Sir, it Is sweepia Deert I " •■ \\'«II,''Isaid, " let it sweep ! '' He ceased me by the arm and said, " Let us glance at hist'rv. It is now some two thousaa 1 years— " '' Is it, indeed ? " I rcidied. " Listen he Merce'y cried ; " it is only a little over two thousand year.- since--"' " Oh, bother 1" I remark', let us go out .and git 30m.> beer." ''.Vo, Sir. I Tint no gross an 1 sensual beei. I'll not move fr^m this spot till I cau vote. 'Who ar yo-,i ? " I handed h'm m'' ■^'- ' t-»-:-i. :- -jv-'-r i-r--. # *. .^ i ■ _. , ., .J •ii;-..: i:( ti'^:ii .-.-j^ .'uj^ ja.M'j, coa^aias ii elabrit description of my show..Now, I.proudly said " you know me ?'. '' Isollu-nly swear,' he sternly replied, " that I nev.-r hear 1 of you or your show in my life ! " '' And this man, " I ,ried bitterly, '' c.ills hisself > intelligent man,' and thinks he or'o be .-Ihwed to vo'.o 1 '^-hat s.hollcr mockerv ! " SOUBTH OF J-JLY OBillOW DLLl. l.ltKD Jl I V ! :i. AT \V t. A rHtU.sH 1 1.1> CnWH ;:. IT Hj* / ■/ 1 1 dcitve eii I1.C t'>; cf.n, tb<'nt two ^eHri 8]{n, t.> s Uri^e and (lH-jrtti'^rwi5e w.-u il !>f I ha e ai-SM (^i.rrc. tn, tl.e gramme r% :iuil ) uiiklDoaKJd it. i 'lo niy o'.vii pmiktDu.i i ii.'W(Ja;,j 'lilt pti..'.irf lu ^'*^;;T FAia t'lTij-.i tau'i i jkto.)..tc wniiti » i:eiit ] Fi!i.L!!!'. riT.zi_.s..i : IVe bi-cu l.oaorc'l witli au iuviit; t, norute l.cf r.- you to-day auil when 1 J^y that I ;k';rcel; feel ekal to the taalc, i'.ii ;iireyi;ti will believe ru"". Weat!.cr:f.eM iii justly cel.!iratt:d for in-r onjir.s ani iiatri;iim tL«' wuilJ uvtrr, auil tu be axej lo pass aud alilrejs vuu ou tbit, my ftijl rerfcrsLcrnal fewer threw Xiw Engltr, causes me to feel— to fee!— I may say it causes mc to/n7. (Gra'e apidaws. Tbey ■bought this w:ii one of my e.xcentrlcilies, wLile the fact ii I was stuc'c. This betweiT. you and I . ) I'm » I'laiic i:. '.i I don't know r.f thing about no dfd Ijcgungej an! am a H'.tle shuky on livm ones. Therf4, e.xpect ni tlowery t.i'k from me. ■\\Lat I sVa'.l say will be to the pint, riglit str.ite out. I'm not a politician and my other habits air good. I've n-i enen ^rs to rcwaid, ntr friends to Jjior.ge. Tut I'm a Union man. 1 luT tl e Union— it's a b'g tbir^— or.d it mi.kti j.y htart bleed to --ec a lot of orueiy pcop'e a-niovia beavi'n — no, .- .__ _ not Leaven, b„t tbeoiier place- and car''o, to bust it :ip. Too much good Uuud was spill in cuurtin and marryia that Lily respf ctable female '.he God- dess of Liberty, to git a divorce from her now. J'y own State of Injianry is celebraiid fur unbitchin marrid peo- ple with ueataets and di=patcb, but you can't git a divorce from the God- dess up there. Xot by no means. 1 be old gal ba.s behaved herself toe well to C:'.st her otT now. I'm sorry the pic- ters don't give her ro 3hoi>3 or stock- ins, Lut the hand of otars upon Ler bed iLust couiiuner to shine undini.l, f».r- ci-er. Im fur the Union as she air, and withered be the avm of every or- nery cu?s who attempts tu bust her up. Thai's me. Ihtvscd! [It was a very iwei-iy day, i^nd at this pint of tl.e orashi'.u a man fell down with sun- stroke. I told the awjince that con- iiler!:: ;.;e laige nnmber cfputty ga'j prcient I was more afraid of a UA« riu STROKE. This was impromiitoo, and seimtd le amotse them ve y much.] Feller Citizens— I hidu'l g-Jt time to noiis the gro'.v.ii of Ametiky fri.m the time wl.cn the ilajtiuwers cum ovor in ;'..e Pilgiitu ai:d b.'wt Plymouth llcck vi.h !Lt.ra, but every skool b.y ncie i -r career bus been titmeij'S. Vou will excuse me if I dou't praise tl.e criy settlers of tl.e Kulur.it'. Peple which Lung idiotic oldnimmin for winches, burnt boles in Quakci's tcugt.es aud consiucd their feller critters to the trtdmil and I'iiiety on the slightest provoo, shun m.iy hav bin very nice fLik.a in their way, but I must confess I dou't admire their stile .1. 1 «ill pass them by. I spose they ment well, and so, in the novel and tecbin langwidge of the nusepapers, " peas to their ashis.'' Thare was no Q.'skount, however, on them brave men who fit, bled and died in the American Revolushun, We needn't be afraid of setting 'em up two steep. Like my show, they will stand an; amount of prase. G. Washington wos abowt the best man th'^ world ever sot eyes on. lie ■- 13 a clcar-heded, warm-harted, andstiddy-goin man. lie never slopt [Put them words in large letters— A. W.] The; git filled up and slop. They Rush Things. They travel too much > i the high preshcr pr :> ciple. They git onto the fust po'ilar hobby-horse which trots alonj-. ^-•^ \^^^'\t^k not carin x jer.t »i.-;'i'r the bee^t is tv-n goin, (.■!?*,- sited and ^ound or spavined, blind aud hawky. Of course they git ihrowed ct ntooal'y, if not in. mi.-. Wl:»n they see the multitood ?nin il Mind they go I'.-l Mel Willi it, instid of eieriia theirselvea to set it light. Th. y can't S"e that ll.e cn..vd which is n»w beann them Iriumf.ntly on i's shoulders will soon disk iver iU error .nnd cast them off into the boss pond of (.'bjv- yun, Tiiho'it the slightest be:itaahun. Washington never slept ovtr That .vasu't Gecrge's stile. He luved his country dvarly. He wasn't after the spiles, lie was a huinan angil ia s 3 kornered bit and knee britches, atd we shan't see his line ri([ht away. My f-ends, we can't all be Washiugtons, but we kin all be patrits & behave ourselv,?! in a hura.iri .-.nd a Cbriiiliun manner. When we see a brother g in down hiil to Ruin let us not gire him a push, b'.t let us seeze ritelmld of h s ccai-lails and draw him ba k to Morality. Iin.igiue G. Washing'on .lud P. Hon:y in the character of seici h 'rs I As well tancy Jidin Dunyaa ^lud Pr. Watis in spangled tites, doin the trapeze in a one-horse circus. I tel! you, feller-'"iiizcu3, it would have been ten dollars in Jif Duvia'.- pocket if he'd never bin born I Be sure aud vote at Un,t once at al' e!cc;buns. Buckle on yr Arm-r and go to the Poles. See two it that your Laber is there. .See that the kripples air provided with carriages. Go to the piles and slay all day. B:- wairof the infamous Iise whitcb the Oppo3i=bua will be sartiu to git up fur perlilical effek on the eve of eleclr- thun. To the poles I and when you g't there vote as you dirn jilease. This is a privilege we all per^es-i, it is one of the boot'es uf this grate ai,d free lanii. Iseemui'b to admire in Xew Eng- ian. Vour g ils in nariicivlar air abon t as snug bill peaces of Calliker as I ever saw. They air fully eipuil to the corn fed gals of Ohio and Irjianny, and will •Jiak'i the b.stest kind of wives. It .sf!s my li iz/, im on fiie to lij'-k at 'im. Ce ^liM. my fo\e. Iw si. 11. ii jou, Hurt, sti'pcuttin itn ! I like your skool houses, your meet- in houses, your enterprise, gumpchun .tc, bat yourfavorit Bevriilge. I dis- gust. I allude to New England Rum. It 's woricnor the koru whisky of la- jianny, which eats threw stone jugs jc will turn tl.e sti.mmuek of tie moit I Seldom .seel; ''•nsolasliun in the (lowin hole, but teth' r day 1 w.;rrid down some of your Rum. The fu^l glass indus-.d me to sware like a iufooriated troop- r. On takic the secund g'ass I wasseezed with a disire to break winders, & arter imbibing the third glass I knocks a small boy down, |)ickt his pocket of a Ken 'i'.jrii r.fi:;cr, aud wildly commenced reaiin Sykauus Kobb's last Tail. Its dretlul stuff— a sort of lickwid liteuin got up under the pus. nal sujervishun of the devil — tears men's inards all to peaces and makes their noses blossum as the Lobster. Shun it as jou would a wild hyeny with a fire brand tied to his tale, and while you air abowt il you will do a fust rate thing for yourself aud everybody abowt yon by shunnin all kinds of intoxicatin lickers. But unless yor- inards are cast iron, avoid New Englari's favorite Bevri^e. eyes fc a plea; at oder of Oryins abowt my clo e. In the langwidge of Mister Catterline to the Rummuns, I go, but perhaps I shall cuin back agin. Adoo, peple of Wetheralield. Be virtoous & you'll be happy I II'rT-/ (leUiCi !i, .'tii ^r-ii! Z'i'(.' ;'. if july Cralkn, sbiflliis Ii Oiir c miiliHil is inal no.v war '^e^A.-.a. Tu.'v're h.a U.iila 'eru ba^i ia varis p:»rlj of our cbc. ful Ri-publii:, nai nat'rilly w) cAi.ght Vai herein i;*liJi;isTille. Tliej lirolce out ill orer h. Our big rjfi-tiii cirae offtlip otliiT ir^'it, an.i o ir oil frioad of the Bu:;li was elcctnl Ci.eerraiu. The Wic,'/* //jit of ithrrhj a ooe of Bal.iiaiville'j moat emiaeutejl injlitooliom. The .ui vert; j?mi.Qt3 are wi;U w.ittcn, »nj ti.e Jeaihi aail mnrriiiges are con.lui'ted withtignal ahilitv. T!je editor, l»r. Slin:- EH', is a po'.i bM, a'iarcajtic writer. Folkj in those parti wiil not soon forgit how he iiicd up the Eiifle j/'/Vfo/om, i family journal published at Snootrillc, iicir bore. The controTen/ ,wa3 about a plank road, " The road may bp, as our contempor .ry say?, a humbug ; but our aunt isn't brt'd-hedi'd, aud n-t haTeu't got a on'-eyed viator Sal! Wonder if the Editor (.f the Ea^U of Freedom acoj it' Thij used up the Ea^te i)f Frcr hm ftller, becauie hii aunl'a head does present a jkinnd ajpearance, and liij sijter Sahaii ia rery much oie-eyel. For a gen- tutd home tlirujt, Mr. Slickcju has ft^ eli'i'j. H.; is a man of great pli'ck likewise. Ha has a .iercp nostril, and I b'licve,upon my soul, that if it Wftsu'l ab^oloot'y nfci'i- s.iry for bin ^ rcmnia hfre auj an- nounce, in his p.ipc-r, from week to week, ■' that our (lov'ment is abiut to take vig'ious measures to put down the rebellion.'' I b'lieve, up. on D:y soul, this iUustris man ivouidenlidt asa B.-igudier Giu'ral pnd git his Bounty. But to retuin to th? war meet- in. It was l.irsely atijaded. Th; Editor of th? Bu^h aiosc and git up and said ibe fact could no long- er be di.-guised that we weie invoU ved in a war. " Human gore," sal 1 he, "is flow in. All able-bodied men should seize a musket and march to the tented field. [ r^'peat it, sir, to the tended field,'' A voice — " Wiiy .^'on't you gi yourself, you old blowlmrd T " I am identified, young man, wiih a Arkymedian leaver which moves the world," said the Eili'or wii'ing Lis ai.burn brow with his Icf" ':oat-tai'.- -'I allude, yourg man, to the pre;.'). Terras, two dollars a year, invariably in advance. Job piiiiting executed with neatness «ad dispatch !" And with this bril- liant bust of tlekance the editor in- troduced Mr. .J. Brut 13 Ilinkins, MEZTIHt}. " ! ronlly trust ilnl the genil'raan will not fail to «y su'lua about th'' bujy haunts of men, liefore h'- 4t.i down," said I. "[ -laim the right to etprers my sentiments here, sail Mr liiaiiin', .n a sightly indiguiut ton", "aid I ihal! b-ook ao interrup'ion, if I am a Soft more." ■' You ean't be mjrf so/t, tny young friend," I objerred, whereupon there was eric* of 'Order I Order I ' '• I regret I cau't mingle ia this strife penoaally,' said ti*.? youn.; man. " Vou might enlist as a liberty pole, ' said I ia a silmry whisper. '' 3ut," he added " I have a »oice, and thai voice ;s for war. ' T!.i> youcg man then closed his speech with some strlkia and original r"- marks in,rt!»tion to ll.e star-sr-ingled banner. EI* was followed by the village minister, a very worthy man indeed, but whose sermons hav.j a 'endeary to ma'ne people aieep pretty industriou?ly. '■ I am wdlin to eulist i',.r one, ' he said. " What's your weight, par'on mm: who is suffcrin from nu atlai.k of in save c-.r national College in a naberiu place. Mr. Hinkins said W'a.shin^ton was not safe. Wh.-v captetle ? " Dan Setcuell," [ -aid. " [Te can do it, "afternoons. Let h'm plant hi3 long and airy form ontr the Long Bridge, make faces at the birelin foe, and they'll skedaddle ' Old Si.gTCR can do it." " r call the N'apo'eon of Showmen," said the Editor of.the Bu^le — " I call that Napo'eonic man, whose life is adorned;with;50 many noble virtues, and whose giant mind lights up this warlike scene— I call him ; •o order." 1 will rerv.ark in I'.-U connection, that the editor of the Eugl>: docs niy job printing. "Vou," said Mr. Hinkin_-, " .vho live away from the busy iiauntj of n:rn. aoiioi Co.i ,u-iHi)u uie mngnitood oi tlie crisis, ihe busy baunts of men is where peojde comprehend this crisis. We who live in the ' busy haunts of men- that is to say, we dwell, as it were, in the busy : haunts oi men," i Tl,e E:Uior o/ '• Vie BugU" is uilerruiited b-j Belnj Jui.q B'ld her ffinolf winricru : asked. "A hundred and silly ;)Ound^.'' • said. " U'cll, you can irlistas a lain- dred and si.ily pounds of morphine, yourdooty beia to stand ia the hos- pitals after a battle, and preach ■>'l.i'e the surgical operations is tin performed I Think how much you'd save the Gov'ujout i.u morphine.'* " Ife did'ut seem to see it , but he made a good speech, and the edit, or of the Bu^le rose to read the re- solutions, commencia as fdlers Resuiiel, That we view with ansiety the fact that there is now a war goin on, and Reioh-eii, That we believe Stone- wait Jackso.v sympathizes with the secession movement, and that ^ve hope the nine-months men— • At this point he was interrupted by the sound of silvery footsteps on the stairs, and a parly of wimin carryin guns and led by Bktsy JtSB, who brandish'd a loud and ratlin umhrellar, burst into the room. " Ifere, ' criea I '■ are some nine- niontl.s wimin "' ■'ilrs. Was:., ' said the editor of the Bugle— ■■ Mrs. Wabd, and la- dies, what means this eitrord'n'ry demonstration ?" '■ It njcans," said tha' remarkable female, " that you men air makin fools of yourselvf!, Vou air willin to talk and urge others to go to the wars, but you don't go to the wars yourselves. War meetins is very nice in their w.ay, but they don't keep :^toaewaU Jackson from coram over to Maryland and helpia himself to the fattest beef critters. What- we want is more cider and less talk. We want you able-bodied men to stop speechifying, which don't mount to the wiggle of a sick cat's tail, an go to fitin ; otheiwise you can stay to home and take keer of the children, while we wimin will go to the wars '." " nentl'men," said I, " that's my wife I Go in, old Gal !' and I throw'd up my ancient white hat ia pcrfeck rapiers. 'Is this roll-book to be filled up with the names of men or wimin?" she cried. ■■ W itn men— Willi men! " Our quoty was made up that veiy night. Still believin that the Goddess of Liberty is about as well sot up with as any young lady 'a distress could expect to be, f am Your's more'n anybody else's, A. WARD. 17 ro?UL,4aiTY. Wlifit i\ ■ il.-ns is popularly, I'in Pug .Vu-e tf (he " I'iNg. ghf .-i ■ i:c.piirf9> w<.rl.i-w„le rq.utaucn l.y smnsLint; „|, iLe •■ ch»mp- Hi cflitla wn^'b!.," sHi up u sulooii iipuD if, unJ realizes tl« frsl moiilh , wLilc our M y,-ion:irr, wbu collected two tiin.irt-a lilankeU lait Auguit, BiiJ at tl.atlimt tana « like nunit.tr of lililc negroes in the Weit InJiis from frrezir?, lins receive. I nj-.hin},' Liit i!,.- ,. iluw lever. i piihl n._v lent in a small town in riijianny one Jay last seB3on A 'vliilu I was stnndin at iLe ^Ijre takia money a .Jeppyia.hua of ],i'ik-i ;am.. ip an.l ?(.J .hey wo^ members of the Bunkumville IVnial.- Moral ner.r.i.io fc Wiuiffiin's liiU's Aniumlu:,, ai.J il,„y asej ma t they coml i;o in without pnyin. " ■"*'"' ex. icily," etz I, " l,ut you can pay witimut goin in. ' " Dew yuu know wLo we air I' saiJ one of ll.e wimin— ;i tail ami ferosLiig lookin criittr, with ,1 l.'eir kiHl.Mi umbreller umi. r 1,. r arm — '■ Ji. von know wiio He air Sir?- " .My iapressLun I.-, "std I, "frcni a kerst ly view, that y( .1 aie fe- mali'3," " We air, Sur," said the ferosh 13 woman—' we btl'jng to a Society which beleeve-i wim^a has rites — which beletves in raz'n her to hir proper spe.r- which beleeves she is endowed with as much iuielltck as man ii— which lejecves she ij trampled on and abo.zed — & who will resist hensolih & forever tL.? incroachmcnts of prciij A domin- eering men." Durin her discourse, the esicntric female grabed me by the coat-koUor 4 was awingiap her utLVr.I'. r wild- ly ever my bed. ' I hope, marm,'' sez 1, i.;.^rling back, " that your intensions is lioa- o.-able ? i'-n a lone man hear in a strange place. Ecsi le..^, Ive a wife to hum." " Yes," cried the female, " i =hes a slave ! Doth she never dream of fieedom— doih she never think of throwin of tie joke of tvrriany & ihinkin i votia for herseU?— Dolli she never ihiiik of these here tilings ?" " .Vol beiu a natral burn fool,' sed I, by this timealittljrilel, " I kin s.ifely say that she dothjnt." " wht'-wl:ot!" screair.e,| the Ti.c Oloe Mh.n lurUihi,, Um'ii.-.uk-, itn.l HiHts ,hic-i tofi.r-a:,ii scandalous; D0;nC-3 ax PIIIf-BCEG. Ifere ,n the Cczz.m of :ny famerly I am enjoyln myself, at peas with awl mankind and the wimmrn folks likewize. I go down to the village oe.' as tho he was as drank as a biled owl. Ginral Taylor was s standin on bis bed and Wingfield Scott 3 koiit tales wa:e piml over his bed and bis trowsij ware kom- ijeetely torn orf from bisself. My waxwurks represeniin the r ord's Fast Supper was likewize aboozed. Three ofthePostles were under the table and two of urn bad an old tarpawlia Lats and rapgid pee jackits and ware smokin pipes. J'adas Iskariot h.id on a .".nr'---? t.af a;..] .-...- rently drinkin, as .1 Bottle of whisky sot befour bim, This ere specK- tercal was too much fur me. 1 klosed the show and then drowndid my sorrers in the tlowin Dole. Fiddlers, [>r,m«.[»oiiL..,, Uo,., Operas, leari.e.l pig., and ETe.le,fBel calve, travel through ihe country, reaping " golden opinion.," ",1, editors, lnTeLlor>,profe..or», and humanitarians gennally.arntarvi,,^ in garret.. Revival, of rellgi,.n, t> n,mer re.crtj, .ad , ieasurt trips i.re pcpuUr, whib trade, commerce, and chloride of lime are decidedly 'xo.v IHT. Popularity is a^.-eer thing, very. I.^yo . don't believe us try it ' EILiHTS female sHingin her umbreller io tie air. 0, what i. the price tfc.t woman j.ays for ber eipeeriuncel ' " I doii't know,- sez I ; ' the price to my .how is 1.'. cent. p„r in- llvidiioal.' ' ' .t can't ourSosiety go in free?" a.ked the female- " .Vot if I know it," sed I. " Crooil, crooil man I" she cried, i bust into tfer« ' W,.n', you let ray darter in r said anithe,- „f „,e .,3,^.^;, ^,^-^^ Ltakenlme afeckshiinitcly by the band " 0, j.Iease let a y darter in-shet'a sweet gusbin child cf ratur. ' " Let ber gu^h I " roared I, as mad a. I coed siiik at their tamal noc:eESC; » Ki Lergush! " ^Lere fl on Ihfy all f] rung beck with me i "J-i-l'enicuMl.-eivr.sl.mtLatlw.as ■ Been. " Jly fcmile 'liir^s, jtd T, " le* Jtu ktve, I'v. a f.wi.ra.ks to rc- iitk; w«s il,n v.^]]. Ilefimale w.n.8a isae 1/ 'l.e grtBtcst icsti- •co.'lunsofviLidi iL's land, an teste It's tr,[ossib]e ;c i'et along without l:'.r. Had theie tin no female wimin in the world, 1 should scarcely be here with my unpareleld show on this very occashun. She is good in sickness— good in welliness— good all the time, O, woman, woman :" I cried, my fcelins worked up to a Li I oetitk pitch, " you air a angle when vo-i behave yourself; tut when yoj thke oifyorr proper aiparicl 4 (met- t; forioally s; eaken)— get into panty loons— when you deseit your fire- sides..^: wiihyour 'leds fullof wimin's rites nosh-ins go round like roaria lyons, seekin whom you may devour scmeboddy—in short when you :)n- dertake to play the n:an, you play the devil and air an emfaiic noosance. .My female friends," I continnered, as ttey were indignantly departin '■ wa v.-el! what .^. \Vard has sed :" 18 T, o THE CEHSUJ. iiie Sencej irtkeriu our town b.-in takoa iU\ i,e .lep, ertijcl nif to D how ,o per, eo.l. I .a, ,o,H.ke.,l, co^pello,. ,„ go " „ n « ,n a r "^T"^' "^ ^^'^ »" -"" E,y C.nawl 1 dow. u ,,. .a. .ae r .n.wea..p th. L„,.Ho ,i.f o.^.i^!" 1 ;;;<:: . r^si ctroi:! ':::::::r^:;ur;v;::;v''' '""^"" ^' "■■" -'-^ j :-• t.eanj a rrgler articl.. of , lift in jour fanuk / n-m man, cWckins hav you, on fnt an 1 in tl>e jloll v If«lr71 insfJ of pi.til,, au.l th it it shoot, furti.esi V Wai you ever at Niagarv Fallj ? I iropoiej 1) .11 the pt'oplu I visiied likn it Wit i yonr uge ? WUar waj you born ' •Air you marn.l, uaJ if 90 how .lo vo . .._.. .. , How many clilJren hav you. ar.d'do they "sulllciontly rescml.!. you to proclooj the possibility of thnr belongin to any of vo'.r nabers ? Did you (Ter hay the ineaaeLi, and if so how many ?" Ilii7 you a twin brother several year-. oM, r than voirsolf / How ma!;y jarent; hav yoa .' Doyjii r.?al tt"atl'.-< Hiiuj regier.' Do you am loujfhten tobaeker ^ Wat .-i your titia wate ? Are you troubled with biles ? UoT does your mercsham culler? State whnl,eryo'; air blind, d.:af, idiotic or got the heaves ? Wujyou ever in llie Penitentiary ? I ; -,'' r?'"' ''r'^-^' I-^'^J "'mater,:, ole jun!., perfl^omorv co.l lie, l.berty, hoor skirt, Ac, hav vou on h.ind,' But It didn't work. I I got into a r.,.v at ,!.■ fust house I ,to;,t to, with some old maids D.sbelevon the anser. >l„.y gi, !„ regard to their aj.s I en.le'e" to b 1 ; fl : i'::'^ "', ""' " *^^'^ "■^•"' ^^""^ - -"'-^ ^^ '^'"■"-et the a.n.e, r , ,:r.M eT.,,r.u„., U- any othT bijais.. O.STJ THl w,«i. — — HJ9, .Mr. E:)iroR . f take my ^"11 in !i\nd toin- f"rm yu that Im in good hellh and trust these few lines will find you injoyin the same bles- sins. I wood also state that I'm now on the summ'T kam- pane. As the poet se.: - ime ertlole. iiiie e;r1 .re Oa the Swift rollin lied An the Rovir is free. ll'zniss is scarcely middlin, but Sir.? I manige to pay f.i my foode and rainvnt punck- tooally and withuiitnogrumb- lin. The narked arrers of slandur has bin leviled at the underlined morei; oncl sins hezc bin into the show bizniss, but I make bold to say no mar on this foothstule kan trooth- fully say I everronged bim or eny of his folks. Im travellin with a tent, which is better nor hiriii haul; WAX FICrEEJ VS. 8HAKE3PE1RE 'Horn Guard Drill. u iJuu uiiu III lue ,. te 01 a monK- ter. ne kills everybody he taks a noshun to in kold bind, and then COUin his darters, chawm liay and thrcla st.aw at folks and Urfinlikeasil'y old koot and ' makin a ass of hisself ginerel ly? iThnre's Mrs. Macbeth — sbezea nize kind of woomon lo havo around, aini she a puttin old Mack, her husband, Dp to alayin Diinkan with a cbeeze knife, wLiK- heze payin a friendly visit to tLeir Louse its Lily morral, I spoze when she Lirfs wiidly andsez, " gin me the daggurs— He let bis bowels out," or wirds to that effeck- " s.-iy, this is awl strictly propper I spoze? That Jack Fawlstarfis likew'-f a imm0r.1l old cuss, take him I ow yo may, and ITimlick ia as crazy as a loon. Thare's Uichurd the Three peple think heze grate thino-^, but I look iiDonhimin the ..le of a monk- serous of wax works, snakes, a panoramy kalKd a GranV Movln ' "' "' ""-' -—"-"" ■''"■""ua, auu luen Diarca of the Var in the Crymear, komic songs i.nd .1 .■ Can^l o f°f '" "''^ '" ^'" ''°'- Bimeby he wakes up and veils fora hoss so ''■'"•'"""• '^•" - ■• ,;;;;;r ';'",^°°^''-J'^"'=°'"^-n>=repeple. Ifheisnuafltspessermanfor urn up heir nosis at shows like mine, sayin they is low a "fi .0 be pa.rcrn.ed by peple of high d.greo. Sirs, / manetane tLu h Uiln^" their"- ' "*"'*" ''" "" '^''^■■^ ■^■"°- ^'-atin link,: ''''^';'''-7."^^'^-^°'^''. Take Shakespeer for instunse. Peplo hink heze grate things, but I kontend heze quite the reverse to Th tonrtary. What sort of sense is there to King Lr who ^r ^od the giillers then I shood like to know whare you fici um. Thare's largo who is more ornery nor pizun. See how shamful be treated that hi y respecterble inj.in gentlemun, Mister Otlieller, makin him for to t.'leeve his w:fe was too thick with Cashoo. Obsarre how largo got Casheo drunk as a biied owl .-^n corn whisky in order to carry out his sneekin desines. See bow lie wurks Mister Othe'ler. 'eelins up 30 that t-e goze and makes poor Desdemony sw.iller a riller which cawses her deth B It I must stop, Very Respectively, Yures, A. WARD, T. K. TOUCHINO LETTEa PBow < ^ „.„ iSriES FHOM A GOBY MEMBER OF THE HOME GUAED ~~~^ BbOADWjv Dear Fullier and Mother ; ^'^''' '"' ''"''• We are getting alone verv wdi tr, _ „ 19 -... -.ari.a.vu.,, «uy snouian'tl/ Tell Mrs. SIfuUer that we do not need the blanket, she so kindly sent to us, as we bunk at the St Ni- cholas and Metropolitan. What our brave lad.- aUad most in need of now, IS Fruit cake aud Waffles, Do not weep for me. HENRY ADOLPHDS. ASTEIirs WARD 10 THE PIRJICE 01 RilH r Hmn WiLiB ■— Vol rfiatfubtr n.f. 1 law jon in Cintdy » ftw ; to fhow mOMlf, b» died j.Iajio ontrUironett hiaueir,lBUr»p«r»«d #i!:i I jCkia tgo. I rcnfiubvr ;ou too. I i«ldim furgit a |uT9oa. I bcarn of your u.&rri3ge to the TriDtcia AI(zant tbc time, but I'r« bin bildia a baru tbii tjirm^r, A buiutbuJao tiineto vvriK letters to Ijlkn Kicoui me N imen" changM hii tookfc pluct sincf »•_■ nn't iu the bod/ politic. TiK lod? politic, in fuck, -i lick. 1 sututioK.i ttiiuk it );..< gut tilfi, fiicnd Walfi. luni' cuuatrj we'te gut o wtr, nbllv/oat ccuDtry, io coojuoktlon with C.*{>'a Sets! of th« ,f/ii!"ir/«y, u^aoetanei a nootrul poiitiuo! I'm fr»'d i cat.': wrlf goaks wbon I iit about il. (>b no, 1 g-u'H not ; Yn, Sir, wt'f* go: a wur, and ILi troo Putrii h:ij to urnkt! tacrifii- •ei, you b-t. 1 have already girec two cojsidi to the war, H I Blaii'l reddy to rscrilj<3 my wife'i brolbcr ruther'u not a^e the reljtiyin knisbt. Aad ii wus! (? ims to WJS8 I'ilsbedev'rJ drop of blocvl my aM>'-hodiJ relaticni Las got III profekjot tLc w ir. i lliiiilt sutLl'jdy ougbler be [ rcek'jo'.ed, A i; a\T a? wtl. te tiit war as anjbudyelse. Wbea ; gi-t a goakic ft onto me iff so jjf to try Kr Btoj m". Yuu leara about tiie draft, frietd Wales, no doubt. It caused turn ('jairm- in', b..t it was fairly conducted, 1 tbinli, for it lit a'.l cla?ie9. I; i= troo tia: WenJill Phillips, who is at Auerican cilizec of African scent, 'tcai'edjlijt so did Vullanjippum, wbois CocscrTativ, and vL. w_E resuntly sen; South, tho' Le TO jid have : in sent to '.be Pry Tor- toogas if Abe hid spoaed .'jr a miLit that tbe Tonoog isses would ketp iiiin. Wc i.aiLt got «".y da'ly paper in o'.r ttwn, I'Ut we're pot a iemale scwin' circle which anjers the same purpuss, Dsd we w.isn't long iL :-.;p€D'p ta to w!:o w.is drafted. Ont vcung nihc v no wje diuwd .'.uiaacd to beeiemii tic;ii.se L>; was the only Eon of a wiJow'd motherwho r ip- ported iiim. A few able-tiodid d'.'sj men was d:af;fjd, bn whether their heirs will have to pay 3 Landrid dollaii r, peace fortm i? a (;.ieetion lor Wliiin', who 'j'ears Ir be linkerin' ar this draf' hizztiisr right Emari. I toj''. be nir.ked good wr.g"?. 1 think moi* of the eotscrlp? ic ti.is place will go. , i few wii! go to Canady, • o,"pia on their way at Ctn.'Otd, N JI where 1 underEtut .Lere it a Maj!.i'!. t f Hart?. I bart-readin groiDi, 4 locbii the world' Alarr! uUrii' bow onlhank ful we air to that Providence wbicb kmdly alluwi us to li»o no 1 bor- row noney, and fail nod do bianiti 1 But to relurn to our ni^.jj'tk. WiiL cur reiunt grate triiimps on the MiMissippi, the Father of Waters (and tliUL is waters no Fithfr r.'.ed (Mi "sbanjed of— twig 'be wittikiim 1), and th* cbeerlu luok of tbing* in other places, 1 teckun we shan't want any .M-.i^lum of Hurts. And what Dpon airth dj the Jieoile of Concord, .N H., want a .Miisium tf Harts for? Haint yo- gat the 8t«t» House now'' »u<\ «h.ii t-uuf do you want " I'm all Ibis ii furrin to the p>;r}Oie of this note, arter all. .My ubjeck in now addrtiiinyoj il to gir yon turn adwic*, friend Wales, about managin yojrwifr, a bizniss I've bad orcr thirty years' experimce in YoL bad a good weddin. The papers have a gnod deal to sa'y about "vikings " in ;otneiion tharewitb. Not knowing what that aii i», and •ol f-ank'y tell yoi, n'y noLle lord dook of the throne, 1 can'l Jackly e.iy whether we had enn or not. We Has both tery mu Ji fluatrneJ. Fut 1 — never 'Djoyed niy?>'lf better iu my liiV. Powtless, your k .pjier was at-ad of Oir'n As regards cniin' usei Kaldins- ville was allers Fh.il'V, But you can git a good meal inNi n York, * cheaj- too. Toa can git hail .i ma.keril at Delino- i.ico's cr Mr. M»»i n Pory'i? for s'l dol- 1 T?, and biled I'lrtaters throwed in. Aa I ted, 1 Di.inlge my wife -ifithoat any particler trocble. When 1 fuj* eom- iiicLt trainin' her I iastiiooted a series of eiperiments, and them it didn't work I abanding'd. You'd lietter do siiniler. Your wife may o'ojeck to gittin' .p and bildin' the fire in the mornin' but if you C"nii3fLce with ber at once you may l»e able to overcum this prfj'idiss. I ngrtt to ot'sflrvf that I didn't com- Uieiee tirly enufl'. 1 wouldu'i have joi B'pose J was ever kicked out of bed. Not rt all. I siiEi.ly say, in rrg.-ird to bildiii t res that 1 didn't ccmmence arly cao: gh. It was a rulber cold mornin' when .' .'ift pre posed the idee to lietsy. Jl wasii I V'li iiceived. and '. "lund n TstllltiyiL' tn'.e floor putty s .ddent. ] tbc'-.gbt 1 git uj ni6 bild lie fire nj- 3fe_'i^^^.■liM \1S I'fu Utheruble ihun LUii /"t.i/tu ivV.;.*', ;, jj-^J ejyi/..'W, at i'urt ua ac c?'\ti:ru.) f coLrse tow you're tnarridyoa cat) ' ■-: onioitf. 1 alius did, and if I know E;y own,bhrt, lal'ijiwni. .My datighler wboisgoin' ra 17 and is fiisky, says ti.ey's dijgustin. And ijieakin of my daughter rtminda oc thaKi'iiie angm- Y'ou see I'm sassy, friruj Wales, biitin all sides; but no rflcnse is ler cfyour.j: men have suddenly niscoverid that I'm a very entertaiciu' meat. Y'ou know J tint r. politician, and never t.-rs I lote for Mr. old ft-ller, and '.l:(y visit us frikenily, specially on s mu.Hy "veuins One Vnioz— tijafs the only candidate I've got. I cli'.im, bowscver, to yov.ng cjap— a lawyer by habit— don't cum as m. eh as he diil. Wy have a well-balRtced mind ; tho' my iutes of a well-balanced luind wife's father iites with ui. }!;3 intelleck totters a "iittle, and be aav.-: difftrrs from the idees of a partner 1 once had, whose name itvras Billson. the japer: contajain' the prcceedins of our 5iate Legijlster. The oM Eilisoa and meorjaniied a stroUin'dramatic company, * weplayed The geLl man likes tc read out loud, and he reids tol'ole well. He eats Drunkard, cr t!:e Falling .=aved, vcilb a real drunkard. 1 be play hath freely, vrhich makes bis voice clear: bit as he confortnitly lias to didn't take particularly, and sayi Bilbon to me, Lei's giv 'em some s?«V- the most cf Lis words, I may gay he reads si jw. Waal, whenever immoral dramy. We had a large troop into our bands, consiatin' of this lawyer made his a,.[ie.araijce I would set the old man n-readin the eight tragedians and a l).;£i druu, but 1 says. No, Billson ■. find then LegislatiV rtp'. ts. I kept the young lawyer up one night till 12 o'- siys I, Eillsoti, you li.iut gjt a well-balanced mind. Says he. Yes, I clock, listenin to a lot of acts in regard to a draw-bridge away orf in ha.c, old bofs-fiy (be wes a low cuss)— yes, ] have. I have a mind, the east part of the State, bavin' sent my laughter to bed at half past ie.ys he, t".,6i balances in ar.v direction that tiiC pubiic rt'-rircs. That's s. He hasL'; "occu there since, and 1 uLi-ritun' he says I go round wot I call? a well-balanced mind. I sold out and bid adoo to Billson. swindlin the Public. He is now an O'.teast in the state of Vermont. The miser'ble man I never attempted to reorganize c.y wife bit once. 1 shall never once I l.-iyed Haclet. There wasn't any orchestry, and wiiblu to expire attempt agin. I'd bin to a juMic dinner, and had albwed myself to 20 l« l/eUii|tJ julo JniikiiJK n-riTnl [woiili^'^ hfii.n,j k t wi^hii] i.. ii,»itf 'tu: « r.lrut as podible, I conliniienl ilrinkin' llieir Iic«hli9 un'il iiijr ownl'imt"' cti-d. Conjekens w»*, I prmiitnl rnjidf*! Bf N_v 1 twdii'l.- luip at niktlit wilhcimai'l'ljlf li-k«?r tnnc«.il"l »lnnit nif [xT-iMn. I lial fiiuihow got |i«rieihiin uf a limwliip on in)' » >i_v Iiudip, uimI rc- memljccm' »i.tii rrankj observations tf Mrs. War'ls In llii- niornin' I inapt th" w lup i-nll/ livtly, ami, in a vfry ImlI wricc. I lu; 1, •• BiMaj, you rcr.l rrornHiiizin' I 1 h*it i'iim,'llftsy," 1 couiinm-.l - cr.ickiu' ttic whip over llie bcj— " 1 LaTe . jm to reorganUi- yon ' lla-uve lou pfr-aycil lo-ni({ht (' I ilrfHtn''! (liilni^'ht that .■nirnhorly had laid a hoHWhip o»rr me •♦v'ril consfckoot,. .luifi) , auj wLuu 1 woko up I found thr liaj. I haiat drank muth of any thin' lince, and if I erer b«ve aaott«r reor{aDizia* Job on hand I tball lei it out. My wife \3 ',.> yean old, »nd h»f allat luilao-'d ■ good charteter. Si." 4 a n lo I I 1 k (ler mother livi-d to .i veii.T bl- »^-, an 1 ditd w.iili- 01 tbe a> t of 7ryin){ ilan-jiicki for lli« C'ouoly t'ouimitsiomr. An I in\y m r m 1 hand pl'ik a flour from lirr looiustun ' We baiu'l got any fiicter of the old U'ly, becauai' stic' I neTfr aland for hi-r am- lir ilijip, and llii'r''for 1 caa I gift) her lik.-nesj to the w»rld ihron gh the aieej ini',>f the illmterated pai»rs bit ai slin wain't a brigadier- giural, -'arliceily, I don't »'pose the) 'J publljb it, anyhow, Th'-.o's nirii Wiiy< of nianapin' a wifi-, friend Wale*, but Hie ben and only lafe way ii to let her do jist about ai she wants to. I Jopted lliit there plan aut.i time ago, and it woiks 1 k<- a dunn It may mtereit you to know that I'm pro)[i«rin' iu a pecoonery pint of Tiew, I _iak(. bout ai much iu the courie of a ye^r la a Cab'- net )llis«er doe», i I underiian' my bi/.nesj a good deal beiier than (urn ol 'em di. Re»;.ecks to ""t. George k the Dragon. " Ever be bapiy." A WARD. ' I AU H£il£ There is no mittak* about thiit, and there is good prospect of my aliiyiiig here for sometime to Come. The snow ii deep on the ground, and more ia filling. The doctor looks plum, an.l .speaks of his ill starred country- niun, ^;r I. Franklin who went to the Arctic once loo much. " A good thing happened down liere the ollur dny," said a miner frcm New Hampshire to aie. " .^ miui tf lioston tlrfsiin' went through th^re, and at one of the stations t! -h wasn't any mules. S»T" theuiiin wiio was fued out to kill in his Boston Jressin', 'Wherts them mules •?• 8.\ys the diifer, 'Them miilej is into the sage- brush. Vou go cutch cm— that's wot ijDu do.' SiiTB the man if Bos- ton dressin,' ' Oh no ' Say? the Driver, "Oh yes" and he took hi-- long coach whip and licked the m:iu of Boston dressin' till he went and caught ihem miilci, EIow does that strike you as ajoke'' ' It didn't strike me us much of ;i joke to pay a hundred and seventy fire dol'ars in gold f.ire, and then be horse-whi|iped I y stage-driver'- for declining to chase mules, [l.a people's idens differ in regard to shrewdness— which " reiLirids me of a little story." Pitting in uNfv\ The Bos 0-1 "in gits mlc a s'litt of tidUintnt vilh t'.t mult-drie'r Knglaiid country itore one day I overheard the following dialnguo between two brother.s " Say, Bill, wot you done with that air aorrel mare of yi urn '' " "Sold her," Siiid Willimu, with a imile of satij'uclion. • Woi't you git?" " Ilun.l'd at.' f 'Ij dLlleis, cash deown ;" " Show • Iiundd an' lifty for that kickiii', spaviu'd critter ■■- Who'd you sell Ler to ?" " hold her to mother I'' " Wot!" eiclaimcd brother, .No. I " did you railly sell that kickin' spavin'd critter to mother ? Wall, you air a shrewd one :" A Sensation Arrival by the over- land ."^laije of two Jlisscuri girls. They lire gdtig to \cvad,-. ••■rrito- ry to j"ia their f.i'!:er. " This is the first Eijuar' meal "•'ve lad since we lift Rocky Thumi ion's," said the eldest. Then addressing herse'f to me, she said : '' Air you the litterary man ? ' I polittly re, ied that I was one of ■■ them fellers." " Wall, don't make fuo of pur clothes in toe papers. We air gr- ing right strait^ht through in these here clothes, ire air 1 We ain't going to rae nut »■" we get to -Ve- vady 1 Puss them sassiges I " We have read a great man/ storiis of which Winchell, tr.e great wit and mimic, was the hero, showing alwnys.how neatly i entirely he sold soil! body. Any one t, .,o is familiar with Winchell's wonderful powers of mimicry cannot doul.; that these stories are «11 substantially true. Hut there ii one instanee which we will relate, or p.eri^h in the attem;'!, where the jolly W incliell was himself sold. The other evening, w hile he was conversing with several g. ntlemen at one of the hotels a dilap. idiited individual rieled into the room and halted in front of the stove, where he ma.le wild and unsuccessful efforts to maintain a firm posi- tion. He evidently had spent Lhe evening in marching torchIi,>ht pro- cessions of for' rod whiskey down his throat, aiul at this parlicii'ar time was deci..v ly and disr'imt'.bly drunk. With a sly wink to the crowd, as much as to say, " We'll have some fun with this individual." 'vviBiiicii ussuniid a solemn fa;e, and in a ghostly voice said tj one of the company ■ The poor fellow we were speaking of i; dead '■' \ " Vo7" said the individual addressed. " Ves," ^aid Winchell. " 'Vou know both of his eyes were gorged out, his nose wa* clawed off, and both of his arms were torn out at the roots. Of course he couldn't recover." This was aii said for the benefit of the drunken n. in, who was stand- ing or trying to stand, within a few feet of Winchell, but I'e took no sort of Eot'ce of it and was apparently ignorant of the celebrated delin- eator's presence. Ajiiin Winchell endeavored to attract hi: dt'entiuD, but utterly f.-iled as before. In a few moments t^e drinkon luan stag- gered out of the room. '• I can gererally have a little fun rritb a urinken min." said Win- chell, " but it is no go in this ease." ' 1 suppo'e you know what ails the n.in who just went out '"' said the '•■ gentlemanly host." " I perceive he is alarmingly i lebriated," si'.d Winchell ; " does any- thing else ail him ■>" " YeJ," said the Lost, — '■ hss kmaf axu D'Jap. ! " This was true. Thfr-.' na? a'' lirf," ii;.' Winchell subsided. 21 THIII<)S IH HEW YOdf; The itLuJi-nl 4n I corin/.i-.-r mutt l,«r.' nulnt.l an.l ».|mirc t m *«rit I.«rl« <>( the I'niii'l .Si»tn of Ameriu.i, lur^i- vtller li»nl.iil<, which mil onljf air tffnn of nrl id thp;rs«lva, but f.n-j trDotliCulljr iit fnrth the»t- ttH. tiotia ..finr «'iO.»-«ihi)»r 1ft m' hers ohjurva th»t (• m'.iiai man; , bonrit ! (Sullle goaketh.) ;! viti' wiM aniniiln erery cine of wh.ch has irot % l!"«ii'if.il Moral. Them hiinhilli ;■• I'ulpt in New Vi.rk. k I annwol/ ri'|mir here to git loiut more on 'uia ; A Iwiii' liere, I thill Til \uuox Adir»9j to the public on mattfi ani tlitii^fl. f-ince Un I m .I inili'reil th.je itrceU, I Imt.- leea all urer tbo Pacific SiiiiK-a and L'tnli. I cum hack now, with my rlrtoo unimpireil, lu' • 'Fo g.it to ^il B iiiif urw cltitl»a. Many changes hm laVen pUce, fTen -liriu' my jhort ahienc, A ium (in iini ijSiiUuin to coni-mpiila'e. The li.iuie, in Van. \ Jiri-i'i, w here I usej t'l IhiariJ, is h.-in' turn Juwn. That house, wlmh \\m i.n.ler>-il memoriablr hy my livin' into it, ia " parsin' away ! parjiu' away I '■ Hut siimo of the timlxrs will he male into canes, which will be solJ to my ai!;:;'feri .it the low price of oui' dollar eacli. Thus ii changtM giiin' on continerly. In the New Wjrld il U w.ir — in the did Woihl Euipircn is totterin' 4 1ys»ntariei done up in a bundle, "ir^n if she^donH hare t) Spoul lb* gobi >Urs m her hevl.h,inil. Ll is »:i l»'i« hold jinlly, and U»« and dreis c.nuibly, like our forefaltdr", who kn)h'J tnoren we do, if ibey narnt .piite ao At» sjitoial CongresaionU 'ieetloa in my district tb« other day I d«Ilb'rUly Tole.i fo- H-nry fUy. I admit tliat Henry is il^ad, but in- ajiouch « we don'iseem to hive a liv.- stati^sman in our National Con- ,''•■•«, let US Ly »ll mcani hare a (ir4t-ciasi corpse. Tbem who thin', ih r u cme made from the timbers of the bouae I oace board* 1 in is ojscnihal to their liapi>inesi, should not delay about iendln' tha mnn-y right on fjr one. Au 1 now, will, a genuin.- hutrar for the wimin wjo air goia" to »h!»idin Tirren goodi, and another f r thv patrotic evcrywher." I'll leave public mtf.er.i and iui;il,{e in a little |ile».«»nt family-goslp. Il «as n, p. M., «h,n I r>Mchel my home^ti 1 ani kno> ' a h»al;hr knock on the door Iheroo' A nightcap ibrusled iuelf oui of the frost cham'ier winder, (d w,i, my licny'i niifhtcap.) And a voic* laid ' Wl.oiiif' is cruiiibliu'. at a dollar. Sammy 1; These canci ij cheap 111, Duane jlreci, sculps my ha;i„il!<.,(: he's a artist. He atudiJ la R mio —Stale of Ncw Vork. I'm here !•. .-.Md the proof-iliectj of my biinhills ai fast as they-ro HC ilpt. Vol have to watch these ore printers prd'., close, for they're ju't a.-i apt 1 1 «pel a wurd ronu' aj H'l\ how. liut 1 h.ire li.u.: to look round f nil i how d) 1 tin 1 thinjfs / I re- turn to the Atlantic State.^ after a alueuce of ten mouths, A what S ale ilo [ lind the country in? Wliy / liuii'i know what .State I liii'l it ia. Si (lice it to 3.iy, that I 'lo not find it ia the State of New .Jersey. I li id soii'i ibiiiijj that id checriu', IMr'.ic'ly tl.ereiolre on the jurt of I'.e wiminof .Vmerici to stop ivcar- iii'i'irri'i' gO)l.s. I never ined IIj with my wife's I'lingj. Sbemiy weir musliufrom (Ji'-enlind'i icy m lan'.in.'.inl bjm- hazeeii from liijy'a coral slrundj, if she Wants to ; but I'm glad to state hatthatsup' Ih I'.jmi'o has peeled olTall herfunin clothes and jumpt into fabric* ofdomcstic m.inufaclur. li'it, s.iy* auiii folks, i' you stop imi'orlin' things you stop the rev- i':ioo. That's all rigl.r. ,\'e can staud it if the Rtv.-noo can, Un the ^i.me in-iciplcyoung men should conliner to tct dniuk on French I hrandy and to smoke llRir livers as dry as a con. cob wi-h Cul.y cigars ■ liicauso 4-soolh if they d m'l, it will hurl the Reveuoo ! This talk 'bout il.e Revenoo is of il,e bo.!., bo-^l.y. One thing is tol'bly cerlin-if we ■l.u't send gold out of the country we shall have the consolation of Kti .»-.ng that it is in the country. So I say great credit is doo the "Hiiiu lorli,i.sp,.i-ri,.ic m.ve-ani». to tell the trooth. the wim'n gener- ally know what they're bout. Of all the blcssins they're the soothinist, Il iliere'd never bin any wimin, where wou'd my children be to-duy ! l!ul I hope this move will 1. ,d to ether moves that air just as much ... ^ ...._ ._._ „.;... j^ .3 . gcueiai and iherrer curtainment ot expenses all round. The fict ia we air getlin'ter'bly extravagant, & onless we paws m o'l- mad career in less than two years the Goddess of Liberty will be seen doc gin' into a Pawn Broker's shop with the other Sr.7£RS.(^^$^ .In objtc'i irW «iy h>. ironl ?■.< to H.r u-iir gown " It is a man '." I anjwcred ia a gruff vols. " 1 don't b'lie,-e it I " .she s.-.l. '' Then come down ar.d search me," I replied. Then r^jumin'my cat'ral voice, I said, "It is youf own ,\ \V Betsy ! Sweet lady, wa'. ■ Ki.r of thou ! ' " Oh," she said, "ii's}oii, is .1 ? I thou:-!!! I smell something," B' t ill'! old girl w,.< glai' to ?ce In the iiiorniu' I foand tl.at mv finiily were enlerlainin'a iiriist fiuu/ Philadelphy.wbo was l.'.cre painiin •omettartlin'water-fallj and mount- ins, and I moriu suspected he had a hankerin' for my ol liMl daiiter. ".Mr. Skimmerhorn, father," «ed my dnuter. " Glad to see you, Sir! " I re- llied, inahospittlevois. "Olndto see you." "lie is an arliji, falher, " tedmy child. "A whicbist? " " An artist. A painter.'' " .\nd glazier, ?■' I a,-ki. "Air ! you a I'ninter and glazier, sir ?" Mydaiterand wife iv.n in id, but I cjuldu't belli il. I fell in a comikil mood. "It is a wonierto me. Sir," Slid the artist, " onsi Icrin' whit a wIJe-;.pread reputation y lu have, that some of our E istern m.nuyis don't secure you,'' ■ Ii's a Wonder to me,'' sa'd I to my wife, " that sjirehody don'i se- cure biin with a chain." Jly rejiorted cipture by the North Am-riom sivijis of Utah, led my wide circle of friends and creditors to think that I had bid adoj to earthly th ngs ani was a angel playin' on a golden ha-p Ilenfs my rival home was oneipected. " A few days after my return I was shown a young man, who says he'll be Dam if he goes to iiie war.~ Ho was sittin' ou a birrel, A was in- deed a Loathsum objeck. Last Sunday I heard Parion Kalkins preaeli, and the p;.iod ol 1 man preached well, too, tho his prayer was ruther lengthy. The Editor of the Ilui;le, who was with m?, said that prayer would make fifteen S'luares, solid aonparil." A. 'WARD. 22 Th* lUrcU/ Count/ Agrirultur«l Socii'l/ lia»ing lerioiuly inTlii I th« author nf ibii Tutiime to •Jilri-ii them on tti« oceiulon ('f their D»»t ■jnnunl F«:r, hf wrote tl.c fresidtnt of lh«t Society u followt , K»w YoRt, June 13, 1865. Dt.tiSii — I hare tiif honor to acknawlrdg* tb« reetli t of your Ulttr of tba .'ih iint., ill whii-h you inrif* m« t« delirer »n kJdmi btfort your e«. celleni ajjricultural locletr. I ff 1 lliittereJ, an. I Ijare hren an hnni-st oM farmfr for toraf f' ur y«ar«. \Iv farm li in tlie Interior of Maine, Unfortunately my lanJi art il-vcn tniltj fri;m the railroiij. Elcvenmilrs ii quite a dittabce loliinl imnienBe 'I'lantitiM of whent, rorn,ry«, and oalj ; but as I harn't aoy I" hmil, I do no', nfier all, suffer much on 'liat accoutt. Vy farm ii more eiiieciilly a grasi farm. Jly neigl.bori told me to at first, and «i an trldence that they were sincere in t'^.it opinion, they turned "« their cowi on to it llie nument I went 'ff" lecturing." T: i>ud am gl.ij 1 iwn a (rrms farm Two ye«ri ago, I tried ihtep- rnising. I bought fifiy Uiubs, and turned ihem loose on my broad and bcuu- • iful acres. It W.19 pleasant on bright morn- ings to stroll li'iiuiely out on to the fiirm in my dressing-gown, k:'!i .1 c^gar in ray moulh. and waii h ihoso innocent little Iniibso thty danced gaily o'er the hill-side. Wiilching their saucy .:apera re- nundid me ( f caper sauce, and it occurred tomelshnuld hnvefoire very tine eating «hrn they grew up to be " niuit(;nr. ' I wrote to niT jld friend, Mr. Dester H. F.dlett. of L'oston, for two sliepherd d'lg?. Mr. F. ia not an honest old farmer himself, but I thoiicl.t he kn(w .ibout shepherd dog?. lie kindly fori^ook far mo e important liu.siness tr nccommo- ■'•.to, and the dog? cnme for-.hwith. Thfy were splendid creatures- snuff colored, hftzel-eye d, long- tailed, and Ehapely-jaweJ Wf led them iioudly to the licld^. " Turn them in, Jlr. Pctkins," I?aid. Eli turned ibcm in. They went in a' once, and killed foiir minuics and a half. Vy friend ha.l made ft trifling mistake in the breed of these dogs. Tiieje dogs were not partial to sheep. K'.i Pcrkinj was astonished and ohserrcd ; ■' Waal ! di.l you ever?" I certainly never had. There were pools of blood in the grc nsward, and fragments of -*-ool j and raw l.imb chops lay round in confused heaps. ! The dogs would have been sent to Boston that night, had they not I rathe- suddenly died that aftrrnoon of a throat-distemper. It wasn't a i swelhn? of the throat, h wasn't diphtheria. It was a violent opening"-' vl ine throat extending from far to er.r. Thus closed their life-stories. Thus ended their interesting tails T failed as a raiser of lamb». As a sheepist, I was not a success. Last summer .Vr. Perkins sad, "I think we'd better cut some grass I '.!. 3 se.isor, sir. ' 1 I .iOaiCULTURE. We eat lome grui. We hired fojr booeit Airmeri to andt til, »nd I lej tlKm gaily to th mcadowi. I WM go n; to mow mynlf. I i»t. the t ur y peasants go roBud on. « err I dret.w.l i>.r i\ „i aey the Into the till green grti*. " Are you reily '/ ' rail E. Pnk n', " I I m here !'' ''Then follow u ' I foilowel tbrni. Follow, d them ra-her toj cloioly, eul.u. y, f k a « l te-hairrd old t. an, »bo ■miediat.ly folh.wed ,Vr. Perkins, called ut.on m to ,t. Then In a low f rm mice he said to hii ton, who was juit ahead i. ,e. ' John change piacei with ",e. 1 hain't got long to lire, anvhow Vondei Urr; in' groan 1 will soon bare these old'bone*, and it's no mat! fr wbaher I'm carriel'hrc with one leg . ff .lud ter'bh- gv'ms in the other or not ! U.it yoj, /obi, you are young. ' The old man cbAiit;>^d places with h'l ion. A iniile of ca'm rt- .irt,m\s Jill li fiUnsiii a I oUing about h'ifi.rin xcUh h s drtstiii:;- ou n and cigar. twenty of my best lambs in about signatlon lit up hia wi inkle.] face as be sai.l, " Now, sir, I am ready " " What mean you, (l 1 nan .' ' I said. " I mean ihiil if you e.mtiBner •o braii'ish that blade as you have been bran'ishin' it, you'K sUmIi h— out of some of d> before we're a hour older!'' There was some reason niirgl. .1 wiib ih.i white-haired old pea- sant's profanity. It was t.-uc that I had twice escaped mowing olf bis ton's legj, and his fall'^r was perhaps naturally alarac-d. I went and sat down undir a trtc. " I never knowe'' a literary man in my life," I overheard the old man sa.i-, "that kuow'd any- thing." Mr. Perkins w,i3 .uotns valuable to me this season as I had far'ie.i he might be. Every llll^rnoon he disappeared from tlie tield regular- l.S and remained about some two hours. He said it was a headache. Ee inherited it from his mother, His mother wus ofteu laken in that way, aud sullere.i a great al. At the end of the two I . irj jfr. Perkins would reappea; . his head Leatly done up i; r. ' rge wet rag and s.ay he " felt 1 " er.'' C'ne afternoon it so happeaed that I soon followed th» 'nvalid to — .w...,,,v.,.,-. uvaiiu. the house, and as I neared the porcii, I heard a female voice energet cally observe, ' 'i'ou stop !" It was the voice of the hired girl, and she ad.Jed, " I'll holler for .Mr. Brown '" ' Oh, no, Nancy," I heard the invalid E. Perkins soothingly say, " .Mr. Brown knows I love you. [..Mr. Frown r.iproves of it I This was pleasant for .Mr. Brown. I jicered c,-utiously through the kitchen-blinds, and, however unnat- ural it may .pptar, the lips of Eli Perkins and my hired girl were very near together. She sai'l, " 'i'ou shan't do so, " and he i/o-soc/. She also said she would get right up and go away, and as an evidence that she was thoroughly in earnest about it, she remained where she was. Tr..-T -re m'w-hi^, nsd Mr. PTkins Is r.p-n-r fro-ivlrd ~:ih Lesd-:chc My friend .Mr, D. T. T. Moore, of the Rur-l New i'ork'.r, thinks if I "kee,T on ' I will gf t in the Poor House in about two years. Ifycu think tie hOLest farmers of Earcl.iy Co. want me, I will come, Truly Yours, CHAILES P, BROWNE, 23 A MOart-ON BOHANCE -REQI.'TALD GLOEVS OS CliAlTER :.— Thk MoRMos'j Dti-ARTn'E TLe moruing oa which Resinaid GloTcraon was to leavo Grea; Suit I.alie Cily with .i miile-train, ilawaed beautifiily. Rcginal 1 C. ri>r3oa w.ij a ,ixi;r.g and thrifiy Mormon, wUL an inter- cstiog family uf twenty juung and handsunie wives. His ui.iuui iiad never leon blessed with children. As oftea as once a year he used to go to Omaha, in Nebraska, with a mule-tnin for goods; but although be had f erf jrnied the rather I'orilou? journey many limea with entire safety, his heart was strangely ;ad on ibis pariicular morning, and filled with gloomy forebodings. The time fur his departure had arrived. The bigU-apitited mule- were at the door, impatiently champing th>'ir bits. The Mormon stood sadly among his weeping wive?. " Dearest unea," he said, '' I am singularly saJ at Ueart this morning ; but do not let this depress you. The journey is a peiiluu- one, but — pshaw! I have always come back safely heretofore, and wl.y should I fear ? In-.^ides, I knuw that every night, as I lay do\'-n oa the broad starlit prairie your briglit faces will : come to me in my dreams, and make my slumbers ;v.eet and gen- tle. Tou, Emily, with your mild blue eyes; and y( u, Henrietta, with your sj lendid black hair ; and you Ntlly, wiihyourha;rso bright- ly, beautifuily golden ; and yo;i. MoUie, with your cheeks so down; . and you, Betsy, with your wine- red lip=, far lU'iredelicioiS, though, than any wine I ever tasted— and yon, Jlaria, with your winsome voice ; and you, Susan, with your — with your— that is to say, S'l- san, with your— and the other thir- teen of you, each so good and beau- tiful, will come to me in sweet dream.5,. w'll you not, Deareslists ?'' "Cur own," they lovinply chimed •' we will '.'' " And so farewell '" cried Regi- nald. " Come to my arms, my own 1" he suid, " that ia, as many of you aa can do it conveniently at once, for I must away." He folded several of them to his throbbing breast, and drove .sadlv aw.tv. nate ?uu's wid.,w--. Hut befo.e her arrival she iudlv n-elly seuta b.v to Buat the nf-ws gently to the afflicted wives, whic:h he did by informing them, in a bourse whi.-i.r, that their " i.bl man had gone in," TLe wives felt reiy b..dly indeed. '■ lie wa.s devoted to me," stbbcd Emily '' And to me," suid Maria. " Ves," said Emily, 'l.'- ihonght considerable r.f you, but mil so much as he did of me." "I say he did 1" " And I 5ay !ie diiln". :" " He did "' " He didn't !" " r>nn't hiok at me, with your squint eves'' " Dun't shake your red head at me I'' " Sisters f said the black-haired Henrietm, " cea^e this iiuseemW wrangling. I, a? hiti lirst wife, shall stiew llowers on his grave " " N'o you irij'i'l,'' .sai 1 Su an " I, as his last wife, shall strew flowers on his giavf. It's my busioess to .^i^ Bat he had not gone far when lb- trace of the olT-hinil mide became unhitched. Diamounting, ho es- ! " ' '•" «"*'i^"' 3ayed to adjust the tracj; b it ere he had fairly commerced the taak, the tuuie, a singularlv refractorv ani- mal -snorted wildly, and kicked Reginald frightfullv"in the stomach, He rose with diniculiy, and tottered feebly towards his luotl.ers house, which was near by, falling dead in l^r yard, wit:: :l.e remaik, " Dear Mother, I've come home to die!' "So I see," she said ; '■ whcre'a the mules T Ales 1 Reginald (iloverson could give no answer. I:, v ,, ; u.e i.e.irt- Etrickcn mother threw herself upon his inanimate form, .rying, " Ob. my son-my son: on'y t.'"! me where the mules are, ard thenvtu may die if you want to.' In vain— in vain! Tegina'd had passed on. CHAPTER i: -K.M.;,,u. T,uepiN04. The m I'.ea were never found. Ueginali's heart-broken mother took the body home {> her ua'ortu- iliere strew ' ' " V.HI .-lun't. Hem ietta. " Yi.u bet I will!' -,i w iih a li-ar-sulfised che " Well, as for me," ]ii.n( Ileal Del-y, " I iiii our peiket.a, .'ir.d :n nvr.tikel never felt a pnrei t's fe din?." said : 1 Suiar, ■k. said the 't nn the M.ew niiu'h,b it I s'tt I ri leaf tl.e bend of the funeral j ;-i cession I" " Not if I've been introduced to niyselt, you won't, "sad the golden. hiired Nelly ; " ll:at'i my position. y'lW betyour bonne: jtriugsit is." ' Children," paid Reginald's iiit'iluT, ' yon must d.> some cry- ing, you know, en the day of the fuucra! \ and bow many pockct- han'ikercbers will it Lake to go round ? Betsy, you and Nelly onght to make one do between you '' " I'll tear her eyes out if she per- petuates a sob on my handkercber!" said Nelly. '• Dear d.iughters-iu-luw," ."^ail Reginald's mother, ' how uu.-;e(mly is this ang"r. Mules is live hundred lollars a span, and every identical mule my poor 'boy had bus teen cobbled up by the red man I knew when my noKinabistaggrrel into the. door yard that lie wa; on 'he I) e, but if I'd only tbiiuk to ark biui nbo'.il iheni mulca ore bis frentle spiiit look fl'ghl, it would have lecn four Ihoti^acd dollar? in Excuse those real Knrs, but vou've f'H.\PTEU lli.-lH.ST TO 1).- = T. Tie f:;eii: jassod'd! i\ a viiy pleasant manner, nothing occur; ing to in.ir tae l.am.or.v i f ibe occasion. By a happy ibougl.t of Regina'd's mother the wives w»''ied to the grave twenty abreast, which rendered t'lal part of the c remony ihcroughly impartial. Tlint n'ght tl.e twenty wives with heavy lieavl.", sought their twenty respt ctive c u hiv. But no Reirinald occupied those twenty respective couches — Begin i!d « o il I nevermore linger all night in blissful repoae in those twenty a-aieclive couehei — RegiuaJd's head would nevermuie preas the tiveniy rrapec.ive pillows of thne twenty respective couches — never, m ve more I S4 I In anntlior Lo ise, n it in inv Ica^' :ie3 from ih- House of Jlo'iraing, a gnty-liiilreJ womnti was wee] ing jiasJionately. '■ He died,' ibe criej ' he 'li'.-J without =ifr»rfyiT, in any resj'cct, wboM' ihum oi.i'.fi wtnt to !' rHARTEP. !V.-MARiuEr. A..a:.v. Two je.irs elapse between the iblrd anl fourth ch.i['ter3, A mai.)y Mormon, one CTeninj, as the sun waj preparing to set among .1 select apartment of gold and crimson clouds in the western hori/on— allhougli for that matter the sun has a right to " set '' where it wants to, and so, I r.jay add, has a hen — a manly Mormon, I say, tapped gcLtly at thedo^r of the man-ion of the late Reginald (Jloverjon. The door was opened by Mrs. Susan Glorerson. " la this the house of the widow Gloverson? " — the Mormon asked. '■ It is," said Susan. "And bow uiauy is tl.creofshe .'' iu'juired tlie Mormon. " Tliere is about tiveaty of her, inclaling m"," returned Susan. '■ Can I see her '." '• You can.'' " .Madame," he sifilv -a' a, addressing the twenty disoon?c.ate widows j " I have seen part of you oeiu.-- I Andaltbougii I have already twentv- five wires, wbuni I respect and tenderly care for, [ can trulv say that I never felt love's holy thrill till I saw thee ! lie mine --be mine ! " he enlhusiastically cried, " & we will sliow the w ).!d a striking illustration i4 the beauty an 1 truth of the noble lines, only a good deal more so — Twenl) -one »oul» with asingla ihoujlil. Twenly-'iie hearts that hca: a? one !" Tb'v w-re ..nitel, tLev were ! TH£ NOBLE E£S KhV. The red man of the forest was furm'ly a very respectful person. Justice to the noble aboorygine warrants me in s.ii in' that orrig- ernerly he was a m.ijestic cuss. At the time Chru. arrove ^in these shores (I allood to Citiiis. CoLiMBVs) the sav.tjis was virtou'is and happy. They were innocent of St cession, rum, draw-poker, an 1 sinfu'ness gin rally. They didn't discuss the slavery question a? .1 custom. They bad no Congress, f.iro banks, delirium tremens, or Associated Press. Their habits w.13 consequently good. La""* suppers, dyspepsy, ga.* companies, thieves, w,ird poliiciins, pretty waiter-girls, and other metropolitan rctlne- mcnts, were ut.known amongther.i. No savage in g'lod standin,; woull take postage-stami'S. 'i'ou couldn't bavf bo't a coon skin with a barrel of 'era. The female Auoorygine DiTcrdiedof consumption, because slie didn't tie her waist up in w hale- bone things : but in loose and flow. in' garments she bounded, with naked feet,over hills and plains like lilt wild and frisky anteloj'c. It was a onluckymomcnt for us when Chris, sot his foot onto these 'ire .-tores. It would have been better lor us cf the prc.-ent day if the ia- i ins had given Lim » warm meal and senthim home ore the ragin' MINT tillers. For the savages owned the ootint-y, and C.li-mdits was a lilb'- buster. CoRiEZ, Piz.iiiKO, and U'alkei! were one-horse fillibus- ters-CoLrnnrs wa.s a fjur-horse tt im fillibuster, and a large yaller dog under the wagi;in. I say, in view of the m^ss we're makin' of thing.', it would have been b-tter for us if Cotr-cLs bad staid to bom^,. It wl Id have been better for the show bisniss. The circula- tion of '\'-*\iTY F.iiii would be litrge, and ti,e pioprietors would all have boozuni pins ! 'i'es, sir, uud perhaps a ten-pin alley. l"y which I don't wish to be un- derstood as intimatin' that the scalp- in' wretches who are in the injin bisniss at the present day are of anyaccount, or calculated to make bome happy, specially the Sii it 3 of .Minnesoty, who desarve to be mur- dered in the first degree, and if I'oi'K will only stay in St. Paul and not go near 'cm himself, I reckon they will be. Lo ,' Tl.t I', or Redman ani a " j'tttty u-.ilUr g'r'. .' K Mi.v in Builaio— an entire stranger to us —sends us a quarter- column pu.Tof bis business, with the ^'ool request that we "copy as edi- torial, and oblige." If he does not eventually subside into a highway robber it won't be for lack of the necessary impudence. ' BUSTS. Titere are in t!,,9 X'y s.-feral !t.iUdi gentle n a eng.igel in .the bust ■ voice, " daml" With bis hand upon the dcor.latcli, be turns and business. They have peculiarities and eccentricities. They are swarthy- ' once more asks, '• how much giv.ee ? '' You repeat the previous oQ'er, faced, we:ir slouched cips and drab pea-jackets, aad smoke bad cigars. \ when he mutters, " ha I" ve enaeavoreo to reOuKe the depraveJ ouster, liut otir ™i „n .iin Kn3»ur -».,„,.- ■ 1- ■' I - . , a dollar, uttcranco was choked, ^ud WB co'jU oulv gazc upoD biin 10 spwcliless wl,rnthehu3terre,reif3iniignntlytothed03r, siyiBginalow, wild / *> ' ag .in asks, " how much giv-ee i " I!y way of a joke yoa say ' astonishment and indignation. 25 IHE IS'iHlfS On the nioil. day we rcacLe'l ispiuwall in the Rei.ublic ' GioLa !a. The PrcaiJcnt of New Grcnacla i? a Central American aarnet os'|i:ero. I WHS told tLiit l.e derived quite a portioa cf Lis inc me ly carrying pa.sspjpers' valises and things from tie steamer to Ihi" Uoteli in Aji.in- wall. It was in infamous falsthood. Fancy A. Lincoln carr\irg carpet-bags and things I and indeed I sLoi. rather trust him with thorn tli.in Mo^quero, because the termer gentleman, as [ 'hink Eome one has before observe J, is " honest. ' I intrust ray hag tea speckled native, who ccLfi Icnt'y gi.e:. ni'- to understand that he is the c Q... striCtly honest person in Aspinwall. TliC rest, he says are niggers— which the colored peci le of the Isitni'uS regard as about as scathing a thing as they can say of one another. I examine the New (Irenadian llas", which waves from ihs cham'er "indow of a refreshmf-nt saloon. It is of simple design make one. to ancther Kngli=h person, he whispered softly, '■ If I am eaten up, give tLeni to Me molLir-tell Ler I died like a" true Eriton, with no faith whatever in the success of a republican form of go-ernment ; ' And then Lo crept back to bed again. We start .it stvcn the nc.\t morning for rauaa;a. My native come? bright and early to transport my car.iet sack to th. railway station. n;= clothes have suffered still irore during the niplii, for he comes to me now . • --d in a small rag and one boot. At last ^r-e are off. ' * .mericans '" the natives (ry : tov.hich I pleasantly reply, '• .U a . long may it be before you have a cliance to Do us again." The cars are ccmfortuble on the Panama rai'way, ai:d 'he country Vou can i through which we pass is very beautiful. Cut it will not ao to trust it mr.ch, because it breeds fever and all otter unpleasant cis^rder.-i at alt T-ike half a cotton shirt, that has Iren worn two month?, and dip j seasons jf the year. Like a girl wo must a!! have known, the Isthmus it iu the molasses of the Day and Martin Brand. Then let the tiies is fair but false, gambol ever it f^T a few days and you have it. It is p,a emi;'' ni cf •■^iveet Lihertv, At the Ilowaru House the man ol'rin ruljlieih ihehair of the hors^^ to the howeis of the cat, and oi!r :;iil3 are waving their lily-wi.iu! !:ocjfs in the dazzling waltz. We liave a ijuarJil'e in whicli an onelish per-on si'psupand jams Iks I massive b:ow against niy stomach I lie apologizi'S, and I say 'all righ', i my lord." I subsequently ascer- tained that he superintended the ihipjiing of coals f . the British steamers, and o« _: ii figl;ting cocks. The ball slops suddenly. Great fXi-itemciit. On? of cur passengiTs intoiicated and riotous in the street. Open'y and avcwej- ly desires the entire r.ipub'.'o of Xew r.renada to " come on." In cise 'hf-y docome on, agree? to make it live'y fjr tiiem. Is quieted down at last, and marched off to prison, by a squad of Grena- d''an troops. Is musical as he passes th" hotel, and smiling sweetly upon the lailiis and children on the lul- cony, txpressi-'S li distinct desire to be au .\ngrl, and with the Angehs stand. After which he leaps uim- Idy into the iiir, and imitates the war-crv tf 'hired luau The natites amass wealth hy car- rying valises, ic, then squander it for liquor. .Vy native comes to n".e an J I sit on the verandah of the Hovfarc3IIct;Ecsmoking a cigar, at; things to the cars ue.tt morning. He is intoxicated, and has been Gght ig to the palpable detriment of his wearing apparel ; for he has nnly a pair of tattered pantaloons and a "ery small quantity of shirt ln't. i-i inil' iiiU'l California miner flesire an^fli stand, solicits this job of taking my . There are mud tuts ail along the route, and h.ilf-naked savage gaze ra;ronizini.ly upon us from their doorways. An elderly lady in specta. cles appears to he much scandal- ized liy the scant dress of these people, and wants to know why the i^elect lien don't put a stop to it. From this and a reniaik she inci- dentally makes ab )'it her son who has invented a washing mach'ne whi' li will wasli, WIi^g and diy a shin iutenmiuut.--, I infer that she is from the hills •( old New Eng- laLd, like the Il'itchinson family. The Central Americaa is lazy. The only exercise he ever takes is to cccasicnally produce a Kevolu- tion. When his fvet begin to swell and there are pc monitory symp- tcmsofgout, he " rtvelushes "a spell, and then sorenely re; urns to his cigarrelte and h.n.mcck ur '»r the p,~.lm trees. Thes Central American Repub- lics are queer cOLcerns. I do not of course precisely know what a last year's calf's ideas of immortal glory may be, but I'robably they are about as lucid as those of a Central American in regard to a republican form of government. And yet I am told they are a kind- ly people iu the main. I li ver met but cr.e of thim— a Costa-Rican, on btard the Ariel. He lay sick with fever, and I went to him and took his hot hand gently in mine. I shall never forget his look of gratitude. And the ntit day he borrowed five dollars of me, shedding tears as he put it in his pocket io be an ansrtl, anl tc.th the We go to bed. Eight o." us are assigned to a small den upstairs Mith only two laiLe apologies fot beds. Mosquitoes and even rats annoy us fearfully. One bold rat gnaws at the feet of a yourg Englishman in the party. This was more than the >oung Knglisnman could stand, and rising from his bed he asked us if \-„-.-.-- Orp-.a.da wasn't a Republic ■* We said it was. '' I tho'oght so," be said. " Of course I mean no disrespect to the United States of America in the remark, but I think I [Tefer a bloated monarchy 1'' Me smiled sadly : then handing his p'jrse and his mother's j'hotograph At Panmua we lose several of our passengers, and ajnong them three Peruvian ladii s, who go to Lima, the city of volcanic irruptions and veiled black-eyed beauties. The .''^enorilas who leave us at Panama are splendid creatures. They learned me Spanish, and iu the soft moonlight wt walked on deck and talked of the land of Pizarro. (You know old Piz. conquered Peru! and although he was not educated at West Point, he had still some luili'.^ry talent.) I feel as though I had k-st all my relations, in- cluding my grandmother and the cooking stove, when these gay young Senoritas go away. They do not go to Peru on a Peruvian bark, but on an Fnglish steamer. 26 AT THE TOMB OF SHAK8PEAEE. Mk, T'l-scii, y\\ DlAR Snt, — I vs be»a lin^j-ia :/ '.:.•; TuXj of the liOjenti.l Shnkeapear.'. It U a ? iccess. I Jo not Iicsila'e to ; ronounce it ai mcb. Vou may make any uss of this opinion t'lat tou f t Cx. h'you •.iiiiik itj publication will subswerve the cause of lltteriioor, jojmdy putKc.ue ' it. ' I told my wife Det?y w'.en I left home that I sbouM go to the birth- ' I'lace of the ortbur of Otbellerand other Playi. She said that as long as I kept o'.itof Xewgnte ibediia't cir; where I went. "But,'' IiaM "don't you know he wai the greatest Poit thit ever life! ? Sot une of these corannn poits, like th.it young i lyit w'd writes Terses to our d.iugliter, about tiie Hoses as gi'owses, and the liwezes as blowses— but a Eo33 PoH— also a ] hilosopber, also a man who knew a great deal aiiout everyiiiing.'' Slie was packing uiy t'.,ing= .a the tim», »od th* u aly tEiwer ibe made' was to ask me if I was gcin to carry both of my red flannel night capi. Vis. I've been to Stratford on- to the Avon, the BirtLMace of Sbal tieare. Mr. S. is do'i> nj more. He's been deado-.. thrte liu:. !red (30'i) ycors. The pcp;e of hi= native towaare jistly pro j1 of bira. They cherish his mem'iv, and them as siU jiicturs of his birtli- place &<:., make it proftible cber- i=in it. Almost everybody buys a pictur to I'Ut into ihier Albiom. As I Etood gazing on the spot wLjre Sha'=peare is s'posed to have t'jil down on the ice and hurt hii- selfwhena bjy (thi; spot cannot be bought— the towa aiitborities ;ay it shall never be taken from Stratford), I wondered if three hun- dred years hence jacturs of my birthplace will be in demand ? Wi'.l the peple of my native town be proud of me in three hundred years ? I guess tlie wjn'i short of that time because th°y say the fat man weighing 1 COO pound which I n- bibited there was stuffed out witli pillers and cushions, which he sai 1 cne very hot d.iy in July, " Ob I'other, I cin't stand this,'' and commenced pullia the pillers out .''rom under bis weskit, and beavin 'em at the audince. 1 never saw a man lose fiesh so fa-st in my life. The audience said I was a pretty u.\n to come ch'selin my own towns-men in that way. I said, " Do No. ittake. ■lOt be angry feller-citiz.;n3. I eihibited bimsimply .aa a work offtrt. i , simply wished to chow you that a man could grow fat without the aid. ci cod-liver oil." But they woalin't listen to m». '■ And this,'' I said, as I stood in the old chuch-yard at Stratford, 1 -sidt a Tombstine. '• this marks the spot wb?re!ie5 Williim W.Shak- ■pe;ue. Alars ! and this is the sj.ot where -'' " You've got the wrong Krave,'' said a n;an — a wort) y villiger . Shakspeare is buried inside the church ' • Oh," I said, ''a boy 'oU me this was it." The boj Uirfed and ! It the shilling I'd given bin into bis lift eye in a inglorious manner, ■■vA commenced Moving backwards towards the street. ; pursoodanJ capiered him and after talking lobimasnell in a skar- fistic stile, I let him went. The old church was damp and chill. It was rainin. The only : ergons there wher I entered was a fire bluff old gentleman who was talking Ij a exjiL-l manaer to a fishinibiy dressed young mm. Erneit .Montrss.T," the eld gentlemen said, "it is idle to pursoo this subj 'ck no furt'.ier. 'i'ou can never nmrry my daughter. You were seen last Mondu- in Pic.alilly without a umbreller : I said then, as I «ay now, any yv.ag m,-.n as venturs out in "■ .ncertaic climlt like this without a umbrelb'r, lacks foresight, caution, strengh of mind and Stability : and be is n y. a j roj.er person to intrust a daughter's happiness I shipt the old gentltman on the shoulder, and I said, - You're tight ! You're one of t'lose kinl of m-in, you are ' He wheeled suddenly rouuj, and in a indignant voice, sal 1, " Go wiv —go way ! This isaprivit intervoo." I didn't stop to enrich the old gentleman's p-.ind with n-y c .livcrsation I sort of inferred that he wasn't inclined to listen to me," and so 1 went on. But he was right about tlie umbreller. I'm reallv delighted with this ;ranl old c^.^ulry, Mr. f ,Mf',,'_but;you must admit that it does rain rayliier numerously here. Whether this is owing to a mon- eika! form cf gov'mcnt cr not, I leave all candid and onprejudiced J t-rsons to say. TVilliatn Sbaksfieffe was born in Stratford in 1.''.04. All the commcntaters, Shaksperien shol- ars, ctietry, are ngreed on this, which is about the only thing thev are agreed on in regard to him, ex- cept that bis mantle hasn't fallen onto any poet or dramatist hard tnough to hurt said poet or drama- tist much And there is no doubt if these commentaters and persons continnerinves'.igatin Shaksperse. career, we shall not, in doo time, knew anything about it at ail. When ix mere lad little William Rltcndtd the C.-ammer School, be- cause, as "-.e said, tiie Grammer School wouldn't attend him. This II markable rcirark, comin I'rom one soyoung and ineiperunced, std pe- ple to tainkin there might be some- ■ bin in this lad. He subsequeErtly wrote Hamlet and Ceorgo Barr- wcll. When_bis kind teacher went to Lcrdcn to accept a position in the cl^'ices cf the .Metropolitan Railway, little William was chosen by bis fellow [iiiiils to deliver a farewell adress. •' Go on, Sir,'' he said, '• in a glorus career, be like a (ngle,andscar,8nd the eoarei you get the mere we shall nil Le gratified! That's so' I returned to tbejhotel. Mcetin a young married couple, they asked me if t co'jld direct hem to tbe hotel which Washington Irving used to keep ? '■ I've understood," that he ■was onsuccessf j1 as a bin'lord.'' said the lady. " We've understood," said the yotug man, " that he 'ousted up. Avery nice old town is Slrntfoid, and a capital inn is the Hed Horse. Every admirer of the great S.'mnst go there once certinly ; and to say one isn't a admirer of him is equv'lcnt to sayin one hasjest about brains enough to become a efbcicnt tinker. I guess I'll! through, and £-i I lay dowa tbe p*E, which is m=r? mightier than Ibe'sword, bjt which I'm fraid wonid stand a rayther slim chance beside the needle gun. Adoi adoo I AUTEMl'S WARD lIs tht TiiHib of Shaksjicarc, ami nuiVfr a s, 27 I do:: t cire if we dou'' HORACE OSEELEY'S RIDE TO PLACEHVILLE. \V1, iiMrGrecl'V »:i3 i:i L\tii''unii.i nialions awaitfl him a* eviiy i ".See here !" shrii-kt i Mr Creole t'jnn. H.' l.ad wriuia powetl'..! leaders ia iLe Tnbunr in fuvor uf llie i ^ti iLce at all !' Piicilic Railroaii, which liad grrally endeared him to the titiiensof (lie | "I've g.)t my orders 1 I wcrli for the C'aiin.rny Slag.- <;om[.arj, A:;d therefore tiny mademuchof him when he nent to i I do. 'I hat'j wot I work for. Ttiey said, 'git this man thrt.ugh by itving. All' thii iLaa'j goia through. Vou ijet ' Gerloui? ' Whoo fJoldfu State, see them Atone toirn ine i'uthusii.!tic ;",i,ulaci' torehii ci. pi rated white ciai to pieces, anl carried the pieces home to remeoiher him hy. The ciii/eu.sof Piacervilie jireparej tofetethe great journalist, anl "H extra coaeli, with extrartluys( f horse.-*, was chartered of the Call- lorn ia Stage ('. ra|any to carry him from the Fo'somto I'larerville-iiis- tince, forty miles. The extra was in some w.iy delayed, and did not lea^e Fulaoiu until lute iu the ai'leruoon Mr. Greelev was to be feted at 7 o'clock that evening hy the citizens of PI jcerville, and it was al'" gelhcr necessary that l.e should be there by that hour. So the Sl» (Company said to Henry .Monk, the driver of the extra, " Ilenrv, great mini mast be there by 7 to-night. ' And Henry an=weied, " 'liie great man shall he there." The roads were iu an awful slate, ai-d dii:;:,- tit tir^t few miles out of Fiilsom slow progicss was made, ' .'^ir," -.aid Mr. Gieeley, "are you aw, ue that I «;«.«/ be atPlacr- ville at 7 o'clock to-night ? ' " I've got my orders : ' Ucoaically returned I'len.y Mouk Still the cjach dragged slowly forward. ' .Sir,- said .Mr. (jreeley, " this is not a trill. ug matter. I must '•■ there ut 7 1" Again came tht ar.swer, " I've got my orders '" ' But the speed was not increased, .^ and Mr. Greeley c'.ia'e 1 away •" V^ another iialf hour; when, as he ] was again abjut to remonstrate with the driver, the horses suddenly started into a furious run, and all so: 3 of enc.ouragingyells tilled the air from the throat of Henry Monk. " That is rig'at, my good fel- low !'' cried Mr. Greeley. " I'll give you ten dollars when we get to Placerville. N'ow we arc going 1" They were indoed, and at n ler- rihle speed. Crack, crack I «ent the whip, and again " that voice" sjdit the air, " Git n[. ' Hi yi '. G'long I Vip- yip!" Anl on ihoy tore, over stones and ruts, up hill and down, at a rate of .speed nevt r before achieved by stage horses. Mr. Greeley, who Lad been bouncing from one end of the coach to the other like an India-rulber ball, managed to get his head out of ihe :. indow, when he said ■ " Do— on't-on't— on't you— a— ti think we-e— e-e— e shall get there by seven if we do— on't — ou't go so last !" " I've got my orders '" that was all Henry Monk said, icdon tore the coach. It was bec'iningserious. Already the journalhst wasextremelj sore from the terrible jolting, and again his head " might have been ieen" at the window. " Sir," he said,"! don't care— care— ii/r, if we don't ge* the-e ,1 seven 1" " I have got my orders V Fresh horses. Forward aj'aia, faster ilian before. Over rocks and sluinps, on one of which the coach nar- rowly escajied turnius a summerset. " |; "/;' atler in the Iluiaie Gredtji s i^o'i anil foticc (nlvintuin on t/ic "fiiiir >l ton from Califonii''. ep ! Aii-iher fi gbtful jolt, and .Mr. Greeley's 'oald head s.tddenly found itj way through the roof of tae coacli, amidit the criih of 3111 il! limUers and iLi' riiiping of strong canvas, " .Stop, you man'ac '" h» roared. Again answered Henry .Monk : ■■ I've gijt my orders ! Hefp your teal, Htra.-i .'" At Mud springs, a village a few miles from Placervi.lo they met a ge delegation of the citi/.ecs of PlacerriUe, who had come out to meet celebrated editor, and escort him into town. There was a military company, a brass-band, and a six-horse wagon load of beautiful dam- sels in milk-white dresses, representing all the States in the I'uion. It was nearly d.irk now, liut the delegation were amply provided with torches, and boutires blazrd all along ihe road to PL'.cervilie. The citizens met the conch in the outskirts ef Mud Springs and Mr. Monk re;.,ed in hia foam-covered steeds. r. Oree'e. al^oard ?" asked the chairman cf the cin.mittip. /'•as, ij ftw mi.'.s bark :' ih'xi Mr. .Monk ; '' yes," ;.» added, ■ kingdown throi;gh the hole which the fearful jolting had made ■ ii'-h-ru f— " yei ! can see him '. He is there :" "Mr. Greeley," said the Chair- man of the Commitee, picseuting himselfat the window . f ihe coach, " Mr. Greeely, sir '. We are come to most cordially welcome you, sir why, God b'ess me sir, you are bleeding at the nose '.' ■' I've got my orders ! ' cried Mr. Monk. " My orders is as fol- 'ers : Git him there by seving ' It wants a <|uarter to seving S'and out of the way :'' " But, sir," exc'.aia ci the C'm- mittee-man, seizing the otf leadir by the reins- -'Mr. Monk we are come to escort him into town ' Look at the procession, sir, and the_ brass band, and the people, and the young women, sir '" " Vie got my anlen .' screamed Mr. Monk. ".My order's do'nt say nothin' about no brass bands and young women. My orders says, ' git l.im theie by seving I' Let go them lines '. Clear the way there ■ Wtoj-ep' Keep toir .seat, Horace:" and the coach dashed wildly through the procession, upsetting a portion of the brass band, and violently grazing ll.,. wagon which contained the b»a-;tiful younp; women in white. ■J'ears hence grny haired men, who were little toys in this procession, will tell their grandchildren how this stage tore through Mud Springs, and how Horace Greeley's bald head ever and anon s'aowed itself, like a wild apparition, above the coach-roof. Mr, Monk was on time. There is a tradition that Mr. Greeley wis very indignant for awhile, then he laughed, and finally presented Mr. Monk with a bran new suit of clothes. Mr. Monk himself is still in the employ of the California Stage Com- pany, and is rather fond of relating a story that has made him famong all over the Pacific coast. But he says ho ; ields to no man in bis admi- ration for Horace Greeley. The other evening we enlivened a railroad car with our brilliant pres- 1 Island for " Dubu-kue ?'' A carrtty-haired young man wanted to enee. The conductor came in. The following were a few of the qnes- know if " free omyibuse.s" run from the cars to the taverns in Toledo ? lions put to hini : On? ohl fellow, wlio waswrapped up in a horse , A tall, razor-faced indiv'dun!, desired to know if" conductiu" naid as blanket and who apparently hadabout two pounds ot pigtail in bis mouth j well eout West as it diddeoun inhis country : andaportiy, close-suave n wanied to ki. w, " What pint of conina?! the kcers was traveliii' in ?" '■ nnn, asked I!. a price of coi-ncr lots ia Omaha. Thrscandmany other ab- -An old lady, wanted to know what time the 8 o'clock li.iin left flock I surdquestions, the conductor answered calmly and in a resigned ti.anner. 88 Some queer people, ciilhnslhemii-K-ei " Free l.overi " ami p«ke..ini; rery on- i?iiiil i.lem aliiiiit life »nil 'noralily, eililjiished Iheuuelvei ii Derhii HeiRlils, in Ohio, II few years iirice. I ulilic opinmn was reii-tleMly ni;»ir.«i ihem, huwever, and llie asiocial ion was simii Jiibnrided. AMOHQ THE FSEH L0VEB8. Then thou Ut what the colJ worlj callj marriJ 7" 'Madam, I latest !' The cxscntric temalc then clutchcj mo franticly liy the arm and bol- n. Thi^y rilibors, ami nil Smne years ago pitched my tent and onfurled my banner to the hreuM; in Berlin Ilites, Ohio. I had hearn llmt Berlin Ilites was ockepied by a eiten.-ive seek called Free Lovers, whobeleeved in affiuer- tys and sich, .-join bark on their domestic tics wi'.hout no hesitation whatsop.ever. They.was likewise spirit rappers and high pri-iher re- formers on ginenil principles. If I can improve thes ere misgided p..,,le hy Rhowia them my onpara!!,,M show ..t the i.suul low price of admitants, mothunk. I shall not hav lived in vane : But bitterly did I cisnheday I ever sn foot in the relchid place, [jot up my tent in a lield near the Love Cure, as they culled it, and bimeOy the free lovers began for to congregate around the door. A ornrcer set I have never sawn. The men's taces was all covered with hare and they lookt half- starved to dcth. They didn't wear no weskuta for the piirpus.- (as they .xed) ofallowinth.' free air of hevan to blow on to their boozums Their pockets was hlled with tricks and piimphl..^ and lliey was bare-footed They Sfd the I'ostles didn't wear boots, 4 why should thev ? That was their stile of argyment. The wimin was wuss than tli ' wore trowsis, short gownds, straw hats with green carried bloo cjtton umbrellers. Presently a jierfeckly orful lookin female presenti'd herself at the door. i!er gownd was skanderlusly sliort I and lier trowsis was sinmeful to be- hold. ! Slie eyed ine over very sharp, and j then startiu back she sed, m a wild- . voice : I " Ab, can it be?" •■ Which ?"aed I. ■' Ves, lis troo, tis truu '. ' " 1 5 cents, marm," I anserd. She bust out a cryin i std. " And so I hav found you at larst — at larst, at larst '." " Yea," I anserd, " you have found me at larst, and you would have found me at fust, if you had cum sooner." She grabed me vileutly by the coat collar, and brandishin her um- breller wib'.ly round, exclaimed : " Air you a man .' ' Sez r, think I air, but if you doubt it, you can address Mrs. A Ward, Baldinsville, Iiijianny, postage pade, A she will probly g Urd .- '■ You air mine, O you ,iir mine "' " Scarcely, '' I ged, eudeveria togit loosefrom her. But she clung to me and sed : " You air my Adinerty I' " What upon airth is that '!" I shouted. ' Dojt Uiou not know •> ' " No, I dosteat " "Li=.tinman, il'Iltellyel" sed the strange female , for years I haT yearned f„r thee. 1 kuowd thou wast in tho world, surawhares, Iho I didn't know where, ily hart sed he would cumand 1 took courage my AlHuerty 1 'tis I I H>r, the desired IhU maslium." you He has cum— he's here-you air him— you air too much !" and she sobbed agin. " Yes," I ans.-d, " r think it Is a darn sii- too mutch I" "Hast thou not y^'amed f.r me ?" she ye!;l, ringin her hands like n female play actcr. "Sot a yearn ;" I bellerd at the top of my voice, throwin her away from me. The free lovers who was standin round obsarvin the scene commcnst for to holler '' Least, " etsettery, etsettery. I was very much riled, and for tifyin myself wiih a spare tent stake, I addrest then, as follers : " Y u pussylanermus critters, go away from me and take this retchid woman with you. I'm a Iaw-ai,,.iin man, and bleeve in good, old- tashioned institutions. I am mar- rid i my orf^prings resemble me it I am a showman I I tl ink your Allinitybizniss is cussed noncents, besides bein outrajusly wicked. Wliy dontyou behave desunt like ijthirfulfcs? Co to work and earn ahonistlivin and not stay round liere in this lazy, shiftless way, piz- enin the moral atmosphere with yotir pestifrous idees I You wimin folks g.j back to your Ia"-ful hu--- baniis if you've got on\, ana take orf them skanderlous gownds and trowsis, and dress respectful, like other wimiu. You men folks, cut orf them piiattercal » hiskcrs, burn up them infurnel pamplits, put sum woakuts on, go to work ch'oppm wood, spliitin fence rales, rr tillin the sile. I pored 4th mv inJiguashun in the way till I ^ct ^ut ofbreth, when I stopt. are a-eeley\ s;ay andfetlive adveHturci on the overland route from California. Jn the '■all of M: I .howed my show in Uiiky. a fooly grate .ittv in the Slate if New York The p.M,|,le gave me a cordya! recepshun T'..- press was loud in her prases. 1 day as I was ?ivin a description of uiy iiecsts and Snaiks in my usual >lowry stile, what was my i=korn i disgust to sea a big burly feller walk up to the cage contaiuiu my wax Aggers o! the Lord's Last Supp.^r and c. He Judas Iscarrot by tlie feet aud drag him out on the ground' He then commenced 'ir to pound him as hard as he cood. " What under the son are you abowt ?" cried 1. HIGH-HANDED OUTBAOE IN UIICA. o( /. he, " What did you bring this i.ussylauermiis cuss here fir .'" A; he mt the wax ligger another tremenjis blow on the bed. SezI "Youegrejusas;, thatair'sa wax figger-a representashun oi tlie false 'Postle." .-^ez he, " That's all very well fur you to say but I tell you, old man, t.iat Judas rscarrotcan'tshowhioselfinUtiky with irapunerty by adarn site 1 ' with which ubservashun hekaved in Judasis bed. The young man belonged to 1 of the first famerlies in Utiky. I sood him, and the Joory brr.wt in a verdick of Arson in the 3rd degree. murder. A manslaughter DcL'..— It is a scandalous fact that this city is desperately aud ■ wan. . fearfully barren of incident. No " dem'd, m.ist, unpleasant bodies" ' Tn ' ""',"" ^^"" '°^'="'1'°° ''"i" <> are f;.hed .in out of ibo'-iver . r.r;.".!::b!'i.".;-.= r.-.n;-..-;-..™ t . : "^°"' do. It must be a mu.der, nremedit; her "feller," no slabbings, gougiugs, or esticuffrocTurVnr emine' 't ' a'"' ',? " '""'""^ murder, abounding iu soul-harrowing incident's" merchant suspends; no banker or railroad mau defaults 'and not even ' "■ "'""° '"'"'■"' ^'"'f"'" ""^' c'lo." the heads of his entire family » floff fiirVit ,1l=t„ri,i. .Ko -I .;.) .... ... .'. ! o*^"'"! a meat-axe, or insert a biitcher-knife ingeniously under thei" - .w.uiis , aau not even » dog fight disturbs the rigid and corpse-like quiet of the city. 'We fifih ribs. Let murder be done. Bring on your murderers 20 ^^H. r,x,,>, Mv I),„. .S,H,_I v„, a little disappointed in no' r- -rv., ,. ,„v„n,io„ ,0 Jin. .„ ,He .,.,„ ,r the SoL, Scillrc:;,- I don't ..,«,.k!y „... hnw tl,ey go on without me. I hop.M. wa u', tin- in„.„tioMS of the Scienc.rs to e,c!ood n>e from Let it par.. I do not repine. Let „, reme... r H.raer Tvenu- c,.,e,cla::n Homer dead, thro, whieh the .vin Mr. uL co Idn' „ „i , /, '""'"^ ""' '"■n p'jr.'d nil over me. At Liver- r I I ^a3 o.ked ,0 wal. ,.„ over the dock,, which are nine miles Ion, and I d(jn't remember a instanc ' SCIENCE AND NAIUKAL H'iloaY, pretty creet.r. I he pretly creetur come-hilhered ravther srwedv ,n 1 ™:;;d;:::r:;:!:;::;;'' '-'---•-- •^■- -"-iodan. ful'Z'.'l V,"""" ^''' •""''■'^'^•'" """■"-' I-- that ha.a't a bea.ti- The gentleman was a dramatic cricket, nnd he wn.te a article f . paper, . .^ich he said mv entertainmenl wa. a JZ^Z!^ '" " As regards !;ceri, 70u can>aci,>„ to do .nterestinu things Imt .he, re onreUable. .had a ver, large g. i„.l, bear once? who '^vo^ld ,, . , - - ""<- "'? 'nval in London of mv gettin dau'ce and Zf , f ""'^ '"^'' *''' '"''^ ''"^" '""••^- «''° """'J possible. Docg he not, hj this sim- ple Jit toiichin gesture, welcum me to Kngland ? Doesn't he V Oh yea — I guess he dopsa t he. And it's quite right among two great coun- tries which -peak the same langidge, except aa regards II's. And I've' been allowed to walk roi.ndall the s'.!ei-t3. Kven at /iuckingham Pal- lia I tobj a guard I wanted to wal',. r Hind there, and hesaid I could wui^ round there. I ascertained sui.^c- qucnt that lie referred to the siJe- vialk instid of the Pallia-bat I couldn't doubt hU hospital fetlins I prepared a Essy or .\nimalg to r.ad before the Social .S, iencc meet- ing, it is asuljeck I may trooth- fullv ..ty, [ have si'ccesfui ly wrastled with. I tackled it whei only nine- ti en ycari old. In case J had red the Easy to the ■■^ocial Scicncers, I had intended it sl;ould be the closin attraction. I had intended it should finish the pro- ceeding. I think it would have lin- 's.^d ihom. I understand ai.imals ''•■t!ci tua;.. .;yotherciaj3 of human c latiites. 1 have a very animal Iliad, and 1 ve been indcntified with 'em doorin my entire peritesional cueer as a showman, more especial boars, wolves, leopards, k serpunts. The leopard is as lively a animal as I ever came into cortack wilh. It is troo he cannot change his spots l^ut you can change 'em for him wilh a paint-brush, as I once did !n the case of a leopard who wa»nt nat'rally spotted in a attractive manner. In exh:buin h.m I :.ed to s-ir mm yell ar^d k.ckup .u a leopardy manner, I used to raaionally whack wee they w.ll stand a chance of being frightened to death. ..d..,donotbeat.h;voo;:::::;i^r't:h:trhi:^^ _^ U fondle him with a club," I anserd. hitting him ano,.,„. ^-,,.1^ » pnitiy Uesist, ' said tbe gcntlen ■^~T^ „ » , , ' .""^.i/unuia otii in grier, '"^ ' "^ '^' ■'^■^■''^"'° "f'^s '"^' t"'ttie of Bull Run, it suddenly cccured to the Fed'ral soldiers that "•ey had business in Washingt.m -^ which ought not to be neglected, anJ they all slatted forth-.t beauti- ful and rcmantio city, m';intaiuin a rale of speed durin the entire dis- tance thai would have done credit to tlie celebrated French steed Guflia- ttur. A'ery nat'rally our Gov'ment was deeply grieved at this defeat ; and I said toniy bear, shorlly after,' as I was givin a exhibition in Ohio — I .«nid, " Biewin, are you not sor- ry the -Xalional arms has sustained a defeat?" His business was to wa!3 liismal, and bow his head down, the band (a barrel orgin and a wiolin) p'liying elow&mclanchollymoosic. \^Ln'. did lh" grizzly tld cuss Jc, iowiTer, 1 ui commerce darncin 4 .nrfinin the most joyous manner. I had r nn: rer escape from being im- prisoned fordisioyalty. Iwill reiate another incident in the carreer of Ihis relchid liear. I used to present what I called in II e bill.sa beautifijl living I'icture— showing ihe Bear's fondness for his .^raster : in which I'd lay down on a piece of carpeting, and the tear would come and lav dnwn beside me, restin his right paw on my breasi, the Band playing " y/omr, 4ic€f/ Ifomt," very "soft and slow. Altlio' I say it, it wasa touchin thing to see. I've seen ta.T- Collectors weep over that [.erfurm- ance. Well, one day I said, "Ladies i Genilimen, we will now show vou ifce Bears fondessfor his master," ^nrd I went^and laid down. I tho't I obaervad a pecioli.ir expression in hiseyes, asjhe rolled clumsilv toanls me, but L didn't dream of the scene which follered. He laid dJwn and put his paw on ™y breast, " Affection of the bear for his ilnste'r " I repeated. " You sec the Monarch of the Western Wilds in a .ubiu- gattd state. Fierce as these animals nalrally are, we new see that they have hearts, and can h ve. This Itenr the largest in the world, and measurin seventeen feet round the 6ody, loves me as a mer-ther lovea Ler ohe-,Idr But what was my horrof-wten the grizzly acd infamous Bear threw his other paw un.Jcr me, and'riz wilh me to his feet. Then cla=pin me in a close embrace he waltzed up and down the platform in a fright na manner, I yellin wilh fear and ang„i?h. To make n-n'!er= «■ . - ; low scurrilus young man in the audienslhollered'out', "Plavfulness ofthe IS IWTRODUCED TO THE CLDB DEAR Sm-n ,i ,eI.iom that th. Cumraorc.il ut ,u to ,t3 'e-,,e,-,f„'ne" .„ . vu .•e,U nr,ta,aa,>,l the VniU^i S-a,., i, .ard .,, ; boy I " And w. .La , .r"!';,""', J" ^" "'='' •- ' "'>• n i. Co,„.orc., a„,.r all. which wil. koep th. two ooun.r.es friendly i SlSj^" T^' iTwril I^!;'" 'i^''"" ""' "'" '"'"'' "« ""-1 ">e Mn. rt-.vcH, M reliiliona between Gatij.'s. gay trooper ' I h ivc 'seen that lace His oat was oae of '■■rds each other rath'- than statesmen. 1 come .,f a very cli>T,>r famiU-. The Wards is a very clever f.imily ind 1 I Ul.pvo we are de.cendid from the P„ritin,, who nobly fleJ from a nd o, do.p.Msm ,0 a land of freedim, where they co.Id not only e,L the.r own rel,«,o„, .,ut prevent everybody e! e from enjoyiu ',„ ^ ^ renl,V-r*' .'"?'" "'^"8 '^"g""' .«''«'. amoosin myself by .tickin my penko.fe mto the calve, of the footmen who s.ocd waitin by the sweIN coaches( M one of whom howled with angwish), I was acL.ed hv a man of about thirty-five summers, who oaid, somewheres afure !" He was a lit.le shabby in his wMrin apparii those black, shiny garments, which you can alwajs tpJI have been bur- nished by advirsity : but he was very gentlemniily. " Was it in the (^lime.i, com- rade? Vcs, it W)s It was at the stormin of Sebaitopol, where I had a narrow escape from death, that we met !'' I said,'' No, I wasn't at Selms- topol, I escaped a fatal wound by not bein there. It wn.; a healthy old fortress," I added. " It was. lint it fell. It came dou-ti with a cjash." " And plucky bois f i , y waa who lirought her down," 1 added ; " and hurrah for'em I" The man gra.^pt nie warmly hv he hand, and saiil he hid been Aoierici, Upper Canada, Afiica, Asia Minor, and other towns, and he d never met a man he l.'ked as much as ho dif' me. " Let us " he add d, "let ug to the shrine of liachus!" And he ilrngjed me into a public honse. I was deter- mined to pay, so I eaid, "Mr. iJaehus, giv th'^ gen'I'manwhat he calls for." We conversed there in a verv pleasant manner till my dinner- time arrove, when the agree'ble gentleman insisted tliat I shouhl dine with him. .' We'll have a ban^juet, Sir, fit tor the gods ! " I told him good plain vittlej :r.:;:;r '^'^^^^^^--^ -havered an7:oX^b!;C' 'weS'""'^'"!-*"" ''''''' ^^ ^-^ «f- was «ver, the agree' le man aid hS^r '"' "^"^ ^""P'"-^ ->-"' a., home on thc'marble rtr^-uh ' "^7;'^-;^ Ms rocket book was a feast fit for the gods ! ■ ' ■ ^"^^ ' ^^ ^""'t '' I said. "Ob, never mind," and jet^..redtherei,.ev;.i„o;;;h::;;;i:r,y::S'':^ e ded.'.ther's geneyus there, and lorfty etuotil, td . e le k '";" '"' 'I'Tf "' "'"' '""""'«'" «f '"'elle-k you'll s,^th' The Sloshers crowded round m« ._ i ... a beautiful brcastp a yo 've Jt " »'?'^ '"'' ' "" "■'='~">°- " ""'■"' hetookitoutofmyn'eckercS. ^^l^:^. l'^' ™"' "" another, w'„o passed it to another , ^ ' "'"' ^""'° " '" m.v ! romisin 1 L I'd re-er swear nrof T ^'''"' "" '^ "^ ^"°'- "" swear profanely ; and I never have, except O" very special occasions. I see