PRICE TEN CENTS, »■:.'■ ' (w, .» - I V, Hkimjixtkd \■\^\^^\ thk Chicago Tkibunk. ' ' '• , ' YiCTORSA OS'^iVP-RSITY ■/.• ■ " '; - — — ■ ' tiBRAHV- " .''•,' WHAT MUST WE DO J ■ ■■\ v-r^ fO BE SAVED? 'A :■ r^'r ;^'.t. ,f \ A A LECTUBIi ' t,.' L-S- :%:W ■rj '■ ■ }■ '' '^ HY .(• ' "A ' V .* I ^.5 Fti^^'fe ,-,:,• ROBERT G. INGERSOLL. X ']■■ (,' ; , n \ V » - ;; ^t-. -.■ -r ' -J VI-' >■ ,»,• 'S Q..: i/,S,:'^t ■^'^^^'^■^' ^|■:VV'■■.• Ai ■ 'V ; . S-i. ■■■'■*:•. - -■ ,i '•' J' .J' -." i- .■.,\\ > >: '..r. \ .1 ■■■I.'-. 1 „ ■:■ (.■ , .^...'V '-/^ ':x'-i',i', M X . V '; *; ^'^^' lr^;:'^..r'^^>-""''"''"\.- -^^' v' '■ TCHd 3iJ?^ ,,.-„.; ..,., ... ..i-;.-v^:-* :-'W.: . . , I . . ■ ■ ..... . . , . ■ J ! ■, » . t- .;*..' , I : ■• i( j':'- :'■,■..,,, ',' - ' i\ '*' ■ Ladies AND Gentlemen : ,-.....' . , ,\ , . .». •- Fear is the dungeon of the mind, and superstition is a dagger with which hypocrisy assassinates the soul. Courage is liberty. I am in favor of absolute freedom of thought. In the realm of the mind every one is a monarch ; e /ery one is robed, sceptered and crowned —every one wears the purple of autiioiity. [Applause.] I belong to the republic of in-v teliectual liberty, and only those are good citizens of that republic who depend upon reason and upon persuasion ; and only those are traitors who resort to brute force. Now, I- beg of you all to forget just for a few moments that you are Methodists, or Baptists, or Catholics, or Presbyterians, and let us for an hour or two remember only that we are men and women. [Applause.] And here allow me to say, man and woman are the highesc titles that can be bestowed upon humanity. Man and woman ! And let us, if possible, banish all fear from the mind. Don't imagine there is some being in the infinite expanse who is not willing that every man and woman should think for him or her self. [Applause.] Don't imagine that there is any being who would give to his child- ren the holy torch of reason, and then damn them for follow- ing where the sacred light may lead. [Applause.] Let us have courage. Priests have invented a crime called blas- phemy ; and behind tiiat crime hypocrisy has crouched for thousands of years. There is but one blasphemy, and that is injustice. There is but one worship, and that is justice. [Applause.] You need" not fear the anger of a God whom you cannot injure. Rather fear to injure your fellow-man. [Applause.] Don't be afraid of the crime that you cannot commit. Rather be afraid of the one that you may commit. There was a Jewish gentleman who went into a restaurant to get his dinner ; and the devil of temptation whispered in 4 IVAa^ Must We Do to Be Saved 7 his ear, " Eat some bacon." [Laughter.] He knew that if there was anything in the universe calculated to excite the wrath of the infinite Being who made every shining star, it was to sec a gentleman eat bacon. [Laughter.] He knew it, [laughter] and he knew this Infinite Being was looking, [laughter] and that he was the infinite eavesdropper of the universe. ' [Great laughter.] But his appetite got the better of his conscience, as it often does with us all, and he ate that bacon. [Great laughter.] He knew it waF wrong. When he went into that restaurant, the weather was delight- ful, — the air was as blue as June, and when he came out, the sky was covered with angry clouds, the lightning leaping from one to the other, and the earth shook beneath the voice of thunder. And he went back into that restaurant with a face as white as milk, and he said to one of the keepers, " My God, did you ever hear such a fuss about a little bit of bacon ?" [Great laughter.] As long as we harbour such opinions of infinity, as long as we imagine the heavens to be filled with such tyranny, so long the sons of men will be cringing, intellectual cowards. [Applause.] Let us think, and let us honestly express our thought. Do not imagine for a moment that I think the people who disagree with me are bad people. I admit, and I cheerfully admit, that a very large proportion of mankind — a very large majority, a vast number — are reasonably honest. I believe that most Chris- tians believe what they teach, — that most ministers are en- deavoring to make this w^nld better. I do not pretend to be better than they are. It is an intellectual question. It is a question, first, of intellectual liberty, and after that a ques- tion to be settled at the bar of human reason, I do not pre- tend to be better than they are. Probably I am a good deal worse than many of them. But that isn't the question. The (juestion is, bad as I am, have I a right to think ? And I think I have, for two reasons : First, I can't help it, [laugh- ter], and secondly I like it. [Laughter.] And the whole question is right at a point. If I have not the right to ex- press my thought, who has ? ** Ah," they say, " we'll allow you to think, we'll not burn you." How kind ! Why won't you burn me ? *' Because we think a decent man will allow others to speak and express his thought." Then the reason .^.■VV:*^> - WAat Must We Do to Be Saved 1 5 ., .:. r.r YOU don't persecute me for my thought is that you believe it would be infamous in yourselves, and yet you worship a God who will, as you de- clare, punish me forever. [Applause and laughter.] The next question, then, is, can I commit a sin against God by thinking ? If God did not intend that I should think, why did He give me a th'nker ? [Laughter and applause.] Now, then, we have got what they call the Christian system of religion, and thousands of people wonder how I can be wicked enough to attack that system. There are many good things about it ; and I shall never attack anything that I believe to be good. [Applause]. I shall never fear to attack anything I honestly believe to be wrong. [Applause.] We have, I say, what they call the Christian religion ; and, I find just in proportion that nations have been religious, just in that proportion they have gone back to barbarism. I find that Italy, Spain, and Portugal, are the three worst nations in Europe. I find that the nation nearest infidel is the most prosperous — France. And so I say th^re can be no danger in the exer- cise of absolute i.itcilectual freedom. I find among ourselves the men who think at least as good as those who don't. [Laughter.] We have, I say, the Christian system, and that system is founded upon what they are pleased to call the New Testament. Who wrote the New Testament ? I do not know. Who does know ? Nobody. [Laughter.] We have found some fifty-two manuscripts, containing portions of the New Testament. Some of these manuscripts leave out five or six books, — many of them ; others more, others less. No two of these manuscripts agree. Nobody knows who wrote these manuscripts. They are all written in Greek. The Disciples of Christ knew only Hebrew. [Applause.] Nobody ever saw, so far as we know, one of the original Hebrew i.anuscripts ; nobody ever saw anybody who had seen anybody who had heard of anybody that had seen any- body that had ever seen one. [Loud and continued laugh- ter and applause.] No doubt the clergy of your city have told you these facts thousands of times [laughter and ap- plause], and they will be obliged to me for having repeated them once more. [Laughter.] These manuscripts are writ- ten in what are called capital Greek letters ; they are what % What Must We Do to Be Saved? are called '* uncial copies ;" and the New Testament was not divided int.) chapters and verses even until the year of f(race 1551. Recollect it ! In the original manuscripts, the (jospels are signed by nobody ; the Epistles are addressed to uijbody, and tiiey are signed by the same person. [Laugh- ter.] All the addresses, all the pretended earmarks, showing to whom they were written, and by whom they were written, are simply interpolations, and everybody that has studied the subject knows it. It is further admitted that even these manuscripts have not been properly translated ; and they liave a syndicate now . Hi,,- [ our* : 7? jifouti ;:)jrnji,- .,>,, I r, , -r, . MAKING ANEW TRANSLATION ; '.,'J3 "-K't '. J :^"»li:^'! ••^ And I suppose tliat I cannot tell whether I really believe the Testament or not until I see that new translation. [Ap- plause and laughter.] You must remember also one other thing. Christ never wrote a solitary word of the New Tes- tament, — not one word. There is an account that He once stooped and wrote something in the sand, but that has not been preserved. [Applause,] He never told anybody to write a word. He never said, " Matthew, remember this ;" *' Mark, don't forget to put that down" [laughter] ; "Luke, be sure that in your gospel you have this ;" "John, don't forget it." [Laughte--.] Not one word. And it has always seemed to me that a being coming from another world with a mes- sage of infinite importance to mankind should at least have verified that message by his own signature [Applause.] "Why was nt^thing written ?" I will tell you. In my judg- ment, they expected the end of the world in a ver}^ few days. [Laughter.] That generation was not to pass away until the heavens should be rolled together as a scroll^ and until the earth should melt with tervent heat. That was their belief. They believed that the world was to be destroyed, — that there was to be another c ming, and that the saints were then to govern the wcnld. And they even went so far among the Apostles, as we frequently do now before election, as to divide out the offices in advance. [Applause and laughter.] This Testament was not written for hundreds of years after the Apostles were dust. The facts lived in the open mouth of credulity. They were in the waste-baskets of forgetful-' ness *They de|. ended upon the inaccuracy of legend. ' And^ W/iat Must We Do to Be Saved 1 '7 for centuries these doctrines and stories were blown by tlie inconstant wind; and, finally, when reduced to writing, the same gentleman would write by the side of a passage liis idea of it ; and the next copyist would put that in as part of the text, and, finally, when it was made, and the Church got in- to trouble and wanted a passage to help it oiit, one was in- terpolated to order. So that now it is among the easiest things in the world to pick out at least loo such interpolations in the New Testament. And I will pick some of them out before I get through. [Laughter.] And let me say here once for all, that for the man Christ I have infinite respect. [Applause.] Let me say once for all that the place where man has died for man is holy ground. [Applause.] Let me say once for all : to that great and serene man I gladly pay — \ gladly pay the tribute of my admiration and my tears. HE WAS A REFORMER \ in his day. He was an infidel in his time. He was regarded as a blasphemer, and His lite was destroyed by hypocrites who have in all ages done what they could to trample free- dom out of the human mind. [Applause.] Had I lived at that time I wouid have been His friend. [Applause.] And should He come again He will not find a better friend than 1 will be. [Applause,] That is for the man. For the theo- L gical creation I have a different feeling. If He was in fact God, He knew there was no such thing as death ; He knew that what we call death was but the eternal opening of the golden gates of everlasting joy. And it took no heroism to face a death that was simply eternal life. [Applause.] When a poor boy i6 years of age goes upon the field of bat- tle to keep his flag in heaven, not knowing but that death ends all, not knowing but that when the shadows creep over him the darkness will be eternal, there is heroism. [Ap- plause.] And so for the man who in the darkness said, '*My God, why hast Thou forsaken me?" — for that m;jn I have nothing but admiration, respect, and love. [Applause.], A while ago I made up my mind to find out what it was necessary for me to do in order to be saved, [Laughter.] If I have got a soul, I want it to be saved. [Renewed laugh- ter.] I don't wish to lose anything [laughter] that is of value. For thousands of years the world has been asking the ques- 8 y//iat Must m Do to Be Saved 1 tion, "What shall we do to be saved ?" Saved from poverty? No. Crime ? No. Tyranny ? No. But " What shall we do to be saved from the eternal wrath of the God who made us all ?" If God made us, He will not destroy us. [Ap- plause.] Infinite wisdom never made a poor investment. [Renewed applause.] And upon all the works of an infinite God a dividend must finally be declared. [Applause.] The pulpit has caot a shadow even over the cradle. The doctrine of endless punishment has covered the cheeks of this world with tears. I despise it, and I defy it. I made up my mind, I say, to see what I had to do in order to save my soul according to the Testament, and thereupon I read it. I read the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and I found that the Church had been deceiving me. I found that the clergy did not understand their own book. I found that they had been building upon passages that had been interpolated. I found that they had been building up- on passages that were entirely untrue, and I will tell you why I think so. . ,_ . , THE FIRST OF THESE GOSPELS . ^ was written by St. Matthew, according to the claim. Of course he never wrote a word of it, [laughter] never saw it, [more laughter], never heard of it. [Roars.] But for the purpose of this lecture I will admit that he wrote it. [Great laughter.] I will admit that he was with Christ for three years ; that he heard much of His conversation during that time ; and that he became impregnated with the doctrines, the dogmas, and the ideas of Jesus Christ. Now let us see what Matthew says we must do in order to be saved. And I take it that if this is true, Matthew is as good authority as any minister in the world. The first thing I find upon the subject of salvation is in the fifth chapter of Matthew, and is embraced in what is commonly known as the " Sermon on the Mount." It is as follows : '* Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." Good. '* Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good. Whether they belong to any church or not ; whether they believe the Bible or not •' Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good. *'Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see What Must We Do to Be Saved 1 ::^ God. Blessed are the peace-makers, for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake,'' — that's me a little [great laughter] — " for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven." [Applause and laughter.] And in the same sermon he says : "Think not that I am come to destroy the law or the prophets. 1 am not come to destroy but to fulfill." And then He makes use of this re- markable language, almost as applicable to-day as it was then : " For I say unto you that except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees, ye "shall in no case enter into the Kingdom, of Heaven." Good. •■. ■ - .'^sh- . .--.f--. :■ IN THE SIXTH CHAPTER .«. ^ .vi^ ^ -.•.:...? v^V^^'tv- /l. I find the following, and it comes directly after the prayer known as the Lord's Prayer : " For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you ; but if ,ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Heavenly Father forgive your trespasses." I accept the conditions. There is an offer. 1 accept it. " If you will forgive men that trespass against you, God will forgive your trespasses against Him." I accept, and I never will ask any God to treat me better than I treat my fellow-men. [Ap- plause.] There's a square promise. There's a contract. " If you will forgive others, God will forgive you." And it doesn't say that you must believe in the Old Testament, nor be baptized, nor join a church, nor keep Sunday. It simply says, " if you will forgive others, God will forgive you." And it must of necessity be true. No God could afford to damn a forgiving man. [Applause, and a voice " Forgive Demo- crats ?" at which there was great laughter.] Oh, certainly, Let me say right here that I know lots of Democrats [laiigh- ter] great, broad, whole-souled, clever men, and I love them [applause,] and the only bad thing about them is that they vote the Democratic ticket. [Laughter and applause,] And I know lots of Republicans so mean and narrow that the only decent thing about them is that they vote the Republican ticket. [Great applause and laughter.] Now, let me make myself upon that subject perfectly plain. [Laughter.] For instance : I hate Presbyterianism, but I know hundreds of splendid Presbyterians ; understand me ? 1 hc.te Methodism, Icr WhcU Musi We Do to Be Saved? and yet I know hundreds of splendid Methodists, I dish'Tce a certain set of principles called Democracy, and yet I know thousands of Democrats that I respect and like. [Applause] I like a .certain set of principles — that is^ most of them — called Republicanism, and yet I know lots of Republicans who are a disgrace to those principles. [Applause.] I do not war against man. I do not war against persons. '? >v, J WAR AGAINST CERTAIN DOCTRINES '*:'"- that I believe to be wrong [cheers] , and I give to every other human being every right that I claim for myself. [Ap- plause.] Of course I did not intend to-day to tell what we must do in the election for the purpose of being saved. The next thing I find is in the seventh chapter and the second verse: "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged ; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." Good. That suits me. [Laugh- ter.] And in the twelfth chapter of Matthew, " For whoso- ever shall do the will of My Father which is in Heaven, the same is My brother, and sister, and mother ;" ** For the Son of Man shall come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He shall reward every man according" — To the Church he belongs to ? No. To the manner in which he was baptized ? No. [Laughter.] According to his creed ? No. " Then He shall reward every man accord- ing to his works." Good. I subscribe to that doctrine. In the sixteenth chapter; '* And Jesus called a little child unto Him, and set him in the midst, and said : 'Verily I say unto you. Except ye sJiall be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.' " I do not wonder that a reformer in his day, that met the Scribes and Pharisees, and iiypocrites — I do not wonder that He at last turned to children, and said, ^^ Except ye become as little children." I do not wonder: and yet, see what children the children of God have been ! What an interest- ing dimpled darling John Calvin was ! [Laughter and ap- plnuse.] Think ot that prattling babe kuown as Jonathan , Edwards ! Think of the infants who invented the inquisition — [laughter] — that invented instruments of tortuie to tear human fiesh ! They were the ones who had jjecome as little children, What Must We Do to Be Saved ? Iil .f*S6, 1 find in the nineteenth chapter-iHAad behold one came and Sciid unto Him, * God Master, what good thing shall I do that 1 may have eternal life?' And he said unto him, Why callest thou Me g:)od? There is none good hut One that is God ; but if thou wilt enter into lile, keep the commandments." And he said unto Him, " Which ?" Now, there is a pretty fair issue. Here is a child of God asking God what is necessary for him to do to inherit eternal life, and God says to him : '• Keep the Commandments," and the child said to the Deity, " Which ?' Now, if there ever was an opportunity given to the Almighty to furnish a ^^'^.^W"^^4' GENTLEMAN WITH AN INQUIRING MIND with the necessary information upon the subject, [laughter] there was the opportunity, [Laughter and applause.] He said unto Him, Which? Jesus said: "Thou shall do no murder; thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt not steal : thou shalt not bear false witness ; honor thy father and thy mother ; and thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy- self." He did not say to him : *• You must believe in me, that I am the only begotten Son ot theeverliving God. ' He did not say : " You must be born again." He did not say : **You must believe the Bible." He did not say : "You must remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy." He simply said : " Thou shalt do no murder ; thou shalt not commit adultery ; thou shalt not steal ; thou shalt not bear false witness ; honor thy father and thy mother; thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" And thereupon the 5^oung man — I think he was a little fresh, [laughter] and, probably mis- taken — saith unto Him, " All these things have I kept from my youth up." I don't believe that. [Laughter and ap- plause.] Now comes in'ati interpolation. In the old times, when the Church got a little scarce of money, they always put in a passage praising poverty. So they have this young man ask, " What lack I yet ?" And Jesus said unto him : " If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasures in Heaven." [Laughter.] The Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in Heaven for cash down. [Roars oi laughter and applause.] When the next verse was written the 12 IV/ia^ Must We Do to Be Saved? Church must have been dead broke. [Laughter.] "And, again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the King- dom of God." Did you ever know a wealthy disciple to un- load on account of that verse ? [Laughter and cheers.] ^ And then comes another verse, which I believe to be an- interpolation : "■ And every one that hath forsaken houses, and brethr'^.n, and sisters, of father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive an hundred fold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Christ never said it [applause] ; never. *' Whosoever will forsake father or mother !" Why, He said to this man that asked Him, "What shall I do to inherit eternal life ?" among other things, "Honor thy father and thy mother;" and we turn over the page, and he says again, " If you will desert your father and mother, you shall have everlasting ife." It will not do. " If you will desert your wife, your little children, and your lands," — the idea of putting a house and lot on an equality with wife and children ! Think of that 1^ I do not accept the terms. I will never desert the one I love for the promise of any God. [Loud applause.] It is far mere im- portant that we should love our wives than that we should love God, and I will tell you why : You cannot help him ; you can help her. [Applause.] You can fill her life with the perfume of perpetual joy. It is far more important that you love your children than that you love Jesus Christ, and why ? If He is God, you cannot help Him ; but you can plant a little flower of happiness in every footstep of the child, from the cradle until you die in that child's arms. [Loud applause.] Let me tell you to-day that it is far more important to build a house than to erect a church. [Ap- plause.] The holiest temple beneath the stars is a home that love has built. [Applause.] And the most sacred altar ill all the wide world is the fireside, around which gather father, mother, and children. [Ap^ luse.] There was a time when people believed that infamy. There was a time when they did DESERT FATHERS AND MOTHERS I; and wives and children. St. Augustine says to the devotee* " Fly to the desert. Though your wife put her arms about WMt Must We Ho to Be Saved t . ^ •■v.. your neck, tear her hands away. She is a temptation of the devil. Though your father and mother throw their bodies athwart your threshold, step over them ; though your child- ren pursue with weeping eyes beseeching you to return, listen not, it is a temptation of the Evil One ; fly to the desert and cjave your soul." Think of such a soul being worth saving/ [Applause,] While I live I propose to stand by the folks. [Laughter and applause.] Here, then, is another condition of- salvation. I find in the twenty-fifth chapter, " Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, Come, ye blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat ; I was thirsty and ye gave me drink ; I was a stranger, and ye took me in ; naked, and ye clothed me; I was sick, and ye visited me ; I was in prison, and ye came unto me." Good ! And I tell you to-night that God will not punish with eternal thirst the man who has put a cup of cold water to the lips of his neigh- bor [applause] ; God will not allow to live in the eternal nakedness of pain the man who has clothed others. For in- stance : Here is a shipwreck, and here is some brave sailor who stands aside to let a woman whom he never saw before take his place in the boat. He stands there, great and serene as the wide sea, and he goes down. Do you tell me there is any God who will push the boat from the shore of eternal life when that man wishes to step in. [Applause.] Do you tell me that God can be unpitying to the pitiful ; that He can be unforgiving to the forgiving ? I deny it. And from the aspersions of the pulpit I seek tO rescue the reputation of the Deity. [Applause.) Now, I have read you everything in Matthew on the sub- ject of salvation. [Laughter.] That is all there is. Not one word about believing anything. It is the gospel of deed, the gospel of charity, the gospel of self-denial, and if only that gospel had been preached persecution would never have shed one drop of blood. [Applause.] Not one. r- ?Now, according to the testimony, Matthew was well ac- quainted with Christ. According to the testimony, he had been with Him and His companion for yeiirs. If it was necessary to believe anything in order to get to Heaven Mat- 14 , '^ W/mi Must We Do to Be Savedi thew should have told us. But he forgot it, or he didn't be- lie v^o it; or he never heard it. You can take your choice. [Lauf(hter.] ..d.r , . • •« vyiT;; The next is Mark. Now, let us see what he says. For the purpose of this lecture it is sufficient for me to say that Mark agrees substantially with Matthew, — that God will be nunciful to the merciful, that He will be kind to the kind, that He will pity the pitying. It is precisely or substantially the same as Matthew until I come to the sixteenth verse of the sixteenth chapter, and then I strike an interpolation put in by hypocrisy, put in by priests who longed to grasp with bloody hands the sceptre of universal authority. [Applause.] Let me read it to you. It is the most infamous passage in the Bible, Christ never said it. No sensible man ever said it. ♦' And He said unto them " [that is unto His disciples], '• go ye into all the world and Ipreach the gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved ; but he that beheveth not shall be damned." Now, I pro- pose to prove to you that this is an interpolation. How will I do it ? In the first place, not one word is said about be- lief in Matthew. In the next place, not one word about be- lief in Mark, until I come to that verse ; and where is that said to have been spoken ? According to Mark it is a part of the last conversation with Jesus Christ,— just before, ac- cording to the account, ;ivrr{i HE ASCENDED BODILY BEFORE THEIR EYES. ^^ If there ever was any important thing happened in this world that is one. If there is any conversation people would be apt to recollect, it would be the last conversation with a liod, before He rose through the air and seated Himself up-' m the Throne of the Infinite. We have in this Testament five accounts of the last conversation happening between Jesus Christ and His Apostles. Matthew gives li, and yet Matthew does not state that in that connection He said : "Whosoever believeth and is baptized shall be saved, and' whosoever beheveth not shall be damned." If He did say these words, they were the most important that ever fell from His hps; Matthew either didn't hear it, or didn't believe it, or forgot it. Then I turn to Luke, and he gives an account of this same last conversation, and not one word does he say ■ ^ PP/iuf .^ast We Do to Be Saved f 15 upon that subject. Now, it is the most important thing, if Christ said it, that He ever said. Then I turn to John, and he gives an account of tlie last conversation, but not one soh- <:ary word upon the subject of behef or unbelief, — not one solitary word on the subject of damnation. Nut one. Then I turn to the first chapter of the Acts, and there 1 find an account of the last conversation, and in that conversation, not one word upon this subject. Now, I say that that de- monstrates that the passage in Mark is an interpolation J What other reason have 1 got ? Tii;it there is not one par- ticle of sense m it. [Laughter.] Why ? No man can con-., trol his belief. You hear evidence fcjr arid against, and the integrity of the soul stands at the scales and tells which sidc; rises and which side falls. [Applause.] You cannot beheve as you will. You must believe as you must. And He mighty as well have said, " Go into all the world and preach thej Gospel, and whosoever has red hair shall be saved, [laugh-' ter] and whosoever hath not sliall be damned." [Renewed laughter.] Then I have another reason. I am much ob- liged to the gentleman who interpolated those passages ; I am much obliged to him that he put in some more — twc- more. Now hear : *' And these signs shall follov/ them that believe." Good ! " In my name they shall cast out devils ; they shall speak with new tongues ; they shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt them ; they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover." Bring on your believer. [Applause and laugliter.] Let him cast out a devil. I don't claim a Urge one. [I-^aughter,] Just a little one for a cent. [Renewed laughter.] Let liini take, up serpents. [A voice — " Copperheads."] If he drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt him Let m.e mix up a dose, for an average believer [hnigiiter] and if it dosen't " hurt" him, I will join a church. [Laughter and applause.] Oh, but they say that those things lasted only through the Apos- tolic age. Let us see. "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel, and whosoever believes and is baptized shall be .. saved, and these signs shall follow them that believe." How long ? I think at least until they had gone into all the world. [Applause.] Certainly those signs shf)uld follow until all the world had been visited. If that declaration was ii fVM/ Must We Do to Be Saved 9 in the mouth of Christ, He then knew that one-half of the world was unknewn, and that He would be dead 1,492 years before : HIS DISCIPLES WOULD KNOW ^S ^tiiv- that there was another woild. [Applause.] And yet He said, " Go into all the world and preach the Gospel." And He knew then that it would be 1,492 years before any- body went. [Laughter.] Well, if it was worth while to have signs follow believers in the Old World, assuredly it was worth while to have the signs follow the believers in the New World. And the only reason that signs should follow would be to convince the unbeliever ; and there are as many unbelievers now as ever. And the signs are as necessary to- day as they ever were. [Applause.] I would like a few my- self. [Laughter.] This frightful declaration, " He that be- lieveth and is baptized shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned," has filled this world with agony and crime. Every letter of this passage has been sword and fagot ; every word has been dungeon and chain. And that passage made the sword of persecution drip with innocent blood for ten centuries. That passage made the horizon of 1000 years lurid with the fagot's flames. That passage con- tradicts the Sermon on the Mount. That passage travesties the Lord*s Prayer. That passage turns the splendid religion of deed and duty into the cruel, cruel superstition of creed and cruelty. I deny it. It is infamous. Christ never said it. Now I come to Luke. [Laughter.] And it is sufficient to say that Luke substantially agrees with Matthew and with Mark. But let us first read. I like it. ''Be ye therefore merciiul as your Father is also merciful." Good ! "judge not, and you shall not be judged ; condemiU not, and you shall not be condemned ; and forgive and you shall be for- given." Good ! "Give and it shall be given unto you," good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. Good. I like it. " For with the same measure that ye mete withal, it shall be measured to you again." He agrees sub- stantially with Mark, he agrees substantially with Matthew. And I come at last to the nineteenth chapter: "And," Zaccheus stood, and said unto the Lord, * Behold, Lord, the': IV/iaf Must We Do to j^e Saveil %) half of my goods I give to the poor ; and if I have taken any- thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him four- fold.' And Jesus said unto him, * This day is salvation come to this house.' " That's good doctrine. He didn't ask Zac- cheus what he believed. He didn't ask him : *' Do you be- lieve in the Bible ? Do you believe in the five points? Have you ever been baptised? [Roars.] Sprinkled? Oh! im- mersed ? " [Great Laughter.] '' Half of my goods I give to the poor, and if I have taken anythnig from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold," and Christ said, " This day is salvation come to this house." Good. [Applause.] I read also in Luke that Christ, whefi upon the cross, for- f^ave his murderers ; and that is considered the shining gem in the crown of His mercy — that He forgave His murderers; that He forgave those that drove the nails in His hands and in His feet ; that planted the spear in His side ; the soldier that, in the hour of death, offered him in mockery tke bitter- ness to drink. ("^ i- ;/ Tfv<''i - i 3o -^-: :^ HE FORGAVE THEM ALL FREELY THERE, yet, although He forgave them. He will in the nineteenth century damn to eternal fire an honest man for the expres- sion of his honest thought. [Applause.] That won't do. [Laughter.] I find, too, in Luke the account of two thieves that were crucified at the same time. The other Gospels speak of them. One says that both railed upon him. Another says nothing about it. In Luke we are told that one did, but one of the thieves looked and pitied Christ, and Christ said to that thief: " Thio day shalt thou meet Me in Paradise." Why did he say that ? Because the thief pitied Him, and God cannot afford to trample beneath the feet of His infinite wrath the smallest blossom of pity that ever shed its perfume in the human heart. [Applause.] Who was this thief-* To what Church did he belong ? [Laughter.] I don't know. The fact that he was a thief throws no light upon that question. [Roars.] Who was he ^ What did he believe ? I don't know. Did he believe in the Old Testament and the mira- cles ? I dont know. Did he believe that Christ was God ? I don't know. Why then was the promise made to him that he should meet Christ in Paradise ? Simply because h^ 1 8 IV/ta/ Must We Do to Be Saved? pitied innocence suffering upon the cross. God cannot afford to damn any man capable of pitying anybody. [Applause.] And now we come to John ; and that's where the trouble commences. [Laughter.] The other Gospels preach the doctrine that God will be merciful to the merciful, forgiving to the forgiving, kind to the kind, loving to the loving, just to the just, merciful to the good. Now we come to John. And here is another doctrine. And let me say that John wasn't written until centuries after the others. This the Church made up. [Laughter.] "And Jesus answered and said unto him : Verily I say unto you, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." Why didn't He tell Matthew that ? Why didn't he tell Luke that ? Why didn't he tell Mark that ? ,.^, ,, ,, THEY NEVER HEARD OF IT. ,;•, -y,-^ } C'' \ or they forgot it, or they didn't believe it. " Except a man be born of water and of the spirit, he cannot enter into the Kingdom of God." Why ? " That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the spirit is spirit," and He might liave added, " That which is born of water is water. [Laughter.] Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again." [Renewed laughter.] And then the reason is given, and I admit that I didn't understand it myself until I read the reason, and when I read the reason you all will understand it as well as I do. And here it is. " The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh and whither it goeth." [Great laughter]. /-'^ So I find in the book of John the idea of the real pre- sence. So I find in the book of John that in order to be saved we must eat of the flesh and we must drink of the blood of Jesus Christ, and if that Gospel is true the Catholic Church is right. [Great applause.] But it isn't true. [Laughter.] I cannot believe it, and yet, for all that, it may be true. But I don't believe it. Neither do I believe there is any Cod in the universe who will damn a man ■simply for expressing his belief. [Applause.] ** Why," IVMf Must IVe Do to Be Saved f 19 they say to me. " suppose ajl this should ti!rn out to be true, and you should come to the Day o^ Judgment and find that it was all true, what would you do then ? " I would walk up like a man and say : " I was mistaken." [Applause and laughter.] *' And suppose God was about to pass judg- ment upon you, what would you say ? " I would say to Him : " Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." [Applause.] Why not ? I am told that I must render good ^or evil. I am told that if smitten upon one cheek I must turn the other. I am told that I must over- come evil with good. I am told that 1 must love my enemies, and will it ^o for this God, who tells me ** Love your enemies," to say ** I will damn mine " ? [Applause.] No, it will not do. It will not do. [Renewed applause] ,. vi« .,^?w-. j i- UPON THE BOOK OF JOHN >>-it'.tI .it all this doctrine of regeneration, all this doctrine that it is necessary to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, all the doc- trine that salvation depends upon belief, — in the Book of John all these doctrines find their warrant ; nowhere else ; nowhere else. Read these three Gospels, and then read John, and you will agree with me that the Gospels teach that we must be kind, we must be merciful, we must be for- giving, and thereupon that Gjd will lorgive us, — and then say whether or not that doctrine is better than the doctrine that somebody else can be good for you, that somebody else can be bad for you, and that the only way to get to Heaven is to beUeve something that you don't understand. [Ap- plause.] f ...i'i'ir ■' ,4*,v.;..-i:. ..:... i-rrvJC. Now, upon these Gospels that I have read the Churches rest, and out of those things that I have read they have made their creeds. And the first Church to make a creed, so far as I know, was the Catholic. I take it, that is the first Church that had any powder. That is the Church that preserved all these miracles for us. [Laughter.] That is the Church that preserved the manuscripts for us. That is the Church whose word we have to take. That Church is -the witness that Protestantism brings to the bar of history to prove miracles that happened 1800 years ago [applause] ; and, while the witness is there. Protestantism takes the pains to say : " You can't believe one word that the wit- 20 IV Aa/ Must We Do to Be Served 1 ness says now." That Church is the only one that keeps up a constant communication with Heaven [laughter] through the instrumentality of a large number of decayed Saints. [Roars.] That Church has an agent of God on earth ; that Church has a person who stands in the place ol Diety ; that Church, according to their doctrine, is infallible. That Church has persecuted to the exact extent of her power, and always will. In Spain that Church stands erect, that Church is arrogant ; in the United States that Church crawls ; but the object in both countries is precisely the same, and that is the destruction of intellectual liberty. [Great applause.] That Church teaches us that we can make God happy by being miserable ourselves. That Church teaches us that a nun is holier in the sight of God than a loving mother with her child in her thrilled and thrilling arms. That Church teaches you that a priest is better than a father. That Church teaches you that celi- bacy is better than that passion of love that has made everything of beauty in this world. [Applause.] That Church tells the girl of i6 or i8 years ol age, with eyes like dew and light, — that girl with the red of health in the white of her beautiful cheeks. — it tells that girl : " Put on a veil woven of death and night, kneel upon stone, and you will please God." I tell you that r.-J^. /^! '-' ' ^ NO GIRL SHOULD BE ALLOWED BY LAW v to take the veil and renounce the beauties of the world [loud applause] until she is at least 25 years of age. .[Laughter.] Wait until she knows what she wants. [Laughter and applause.] I am opposed to allowing these spider-like priests to weave webs to catch the flies of youth. [Applause.] There ought to be a law appointing Commis- sioners to visit such places at least twice a year and release every person who expresses a desire to be released. [Loud applause.] I do not believe in keeping penitentiaries for God. [Applause.] No doubt they are honest about it ; that is not the question. Now, this Church, after a few centuries of thought, made a creed, and that creed is the foundation of orthodox religion. Let me read to you : *' Whosoever will be saved, before all things it is neces- sary that he hold the Catholic fsiith. Whiqh faith, except IVAai Must We Do to Be Saved f ai « every one do keep entire and inviolate, without doubt he shall perish everlastingly. Now the Catholic faith is this ; That we worship one God in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity." Of course you understand how this is done, and there is no need of my explaining it, [Laughter.] "Neither con- founding the persons, nor dividing the substance." You see what a predicament that would leave the Deity in, — it you divide the substance. [Laughter.] *' For one is the person of the Father, another of the Son, and another of the Holy Ghost. But the godhead of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, is all one, the glory equal, the majesty coeternal. Such as the Father is, such is the Son, and such is the Holy Ghost. The Father is uncreated, the Son is uncreated, and the Holy Ghost is uncreated. The Father incomprehensible, the Son incomprehensible, and the Holy Ghost incomprehensible." And that is the reason we know so much about them there. [Laughter.] "The Father Eternal, the Son Eternal, and the Holy Ghost Eternal. And yet there are not three Eternals, bat , one Eternal. As also there are not three uncreated, nor three incomprehensibles, but one uncreated, and one in- comprehensible. In like manner the Father is Almighty, the Son Almighty and the Holy Ghost Almighty. And yet there are not three Almighties, but one Almighty. [Laugh- ter.] So the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Ghost is God. And yet there are not three Gods, but one God. So, likewise, the Father is Lord, the Son is Lord, and the Holy Ghost is Lord. And yet there are not three Lords, but one Lord. For, as we are compelled by the Christian truth to acknowledge every person by himself to be God and Lord, so we are forbidden by the Catholic re- ligion to say there are three Gods or three Lords. The Father is made of no one, neither created nor begotten. The Son is from the Father alone, — not made, nor created, but begotten. The Holy Ghost is from the Father and the Son, not made nor begotten, but proceeding. So there is one Father, not three Fathers ; " why should there be if there is only one Son ? [Laughter.] " One Son, not three Sons ; one Holy Ghost, not three Holy Ghosts. And in this Trinity Uiere is nothing before or after; nothing greater or tu 22 . tV/iaf Must We Do to Be SavM less; but the whole three persons are coeternal to one an-* other and coequal. So that in all things the Unity is to be" worshipped in Trinity, and the Trinity in Unity. lie,} therefore, that will be saved must thus think of the Trinity. t Furthermore, it is necessary to everlasting salvation that he? also believe rightly the incarnation of our Lord Jesus , Christ. Now the right faith is, that we believe and confess- that our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, is both God; and Man. He is God of the substance of his Father, be-( gotten before the world" — that is, a good while before IIis mother ived [laughter] ; " and H« is a man of the substance j of Hi? mother born m the world. Perfect God and perlect; Man ; of a rational soul, and human flesh subsisting, equaU to the Father according to His godhead, and less than ther Father according to His manhood; who, although He be^ [)oth God and Man, yet He is not two but one Christ ; one, » not by the conversion of the godhead into flesh, but by the taking of the manhood unto God." You see, that is a great) (leal easier than the other way. [Laughter.] " One alto-^ <^ether, not by confusion of substance, but by unity of person, f For as the rational soul and the flesh is one man, so God; and man is one Christ, who suffered for our salvation, de-i scended into Hell, rose again the third day from the dead. He ascended into Heaven ; He sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty ; thence He shall come ta judge^ the living and the dead." "r^ > In order to be saved it is necessary to believe this,| What a mercy it is that man can get to Heaven without^ understanding it ! [Laughter and applause.] In order to compel the human intellect to get upon its knees before that infinite absurdity, thousands and millions have suffered nil agonies, thousands and millions have perished indungeon|j; :;.nd in fire; and if all the bones of all the victims of the Catholic Church could be gathered together, a monument higher th^'.n .ill the pyramids would arise, in the presence of which the. I'yes even of priests would be suffused with tears. [Ap-^; plause.] That Church covered Europe with Cathedrals ;ind dungeons ; that Church robbed man of the jewel of the soul ; that Church had ignorance upon its knees ; that Church went in partnership with the tyranny of the throne IV^at Must We Do to Be Savedf JJ and between these two vultures, the altar and the throne, the heart of man was devoured. [Applause.] Of course I admit — cheerfully admit — that there are thousands of good Catholics. But Catholicism is con- trary to human liberty ; Catholicism bases salvation upon belief ; Catholicism teaches man to trample his reason under foot; and for that reason it is wrong. Now, the next Church that comes along in the order that I wish to speak is the Episcopalian. That was founded by Henry VIII., — now in Heaven. [Laughter.] He cast off Queen Katherine and Catholicism together, and he accepted Episcopalianism and Anne Boleyn at the same time. [Laughter,] That Church, if it had a few more ceremonies, would be Catholic ; if it had a few less, nothing. [Laughter.] We have an Episcopalian Church in this country, and it has all the imperfections of a poor relation. [Laughter.] It is always boasting of its rich relative. In England, the creed is made by law, the same as we pass statutes here ; and when a gentleman dies in England, in order to determine whether he shall be saved or not, it is necessary for the powers of Heaven to read the acts of Parliament. [Laughter.] It beccnies a question of law; and sometimes a man is damned on a very nice point — [laughter] — lost on demurrer ! [Laughter and applause.] A few years ago a gentleman by the name of Seabury — Samuel Seabury — was sent over to England to get some apostolical succession. We iiadn't a drop in the house. [Laughter.] It was necessary for the Bishops of the English Church to put their hands upon his head. They refused ; there was no act of Parliament justifying it. He had then to go to the Scotch Bishops, and, had the Scotch Bishops refused, we never would hav«^ had any apostolic succession in the New World. God would have been driven cut of half the world, and the true Church never could have been founded. But the Scotch Bishops put their hands on his head ; and now we have an unbroken succession of heads and hands, from St. Pa\il to the last Bishop. [Laughter.] In this country the Episcopal Church has done some good ; and I want to thank that Church for having on the average less religion than the others, [laugh- H What Mu ( We Do to Be ^avedf ter]; on the average you have done more good to mankind. [Laughter and applause.] You preserved some of the humanities. You did not hate music ; you did not absolutely despise painting; and you did not abhor architecture. You finally admitted that it was no worse to keep time with your feet than with your hands ; and some went so far as to say that people could play cards, and that God would overlook it all, or look the other way. [Laughter.] For all these things, accept my thanks. When I was a boy, the other churches looked upon dancing as the mysterious sin against the Holy Ghost ; and they used to teach that when tour boys got together in a hay-mow playing seven-up, that the eternal God stood whetting - THE SWORD OF HIS ETERNAL WRATH, waiting to strike them down to the lowest hell. [Laughter and applause.] So that Cluirch has done some goc 1. i,y,.,... After a while, in England, a couple of gentlemen by the name ot Wesley and Whitfield said, "If everybody is going to Hell, somebody ought to mention it." [Laughter.] The Episcopal clergy said : " Keep still, don't tear your gown." [Laughter.] Wesley and Whitfield said: *' This frightful truth rught to be proclaimed from the housetop on every opportunity, and from the highway on every occasion." They were good, honest men ; they believed their doctrine, ^ and they said : " If there is a Hell, and here is a Niagara of souls pouring over the eternal j^recipice of ignorance, somebody ought to say something." They were right,, somebody ought if such a thing is true. Wesley was a believer in the Bible. He believed in the actual presence of the Almighty. God used to do miracles iRlr him..^ [Laughter.] He used to put off a rain several days to give his meeting a chance. He used to cure his horse of lame-, ness. He used to cure Mr. Wesley's headaches. Mr. Wes-^ ley also believed in the actual existence of the Devil. He believed that Devils had possession of people. He talked to the Devil when he was in folks, and the Devil told him that he was going to leave, and that he was going into another person, and that he would be there at a certain time [laughter] ; and Wesley went to that other person, and there the Devil was prompt to the minute, [Laughter and \^V/iat Must We Do to Be Saved i aj applause.] He regarded every conversion as an absolute warfare between God and the Devil for the possession of that man's soul. Honest, no doubt, Mr. Wesley did not believe in human liberty ; honest, no doubt, he was opposed to the liberty of the colonies, — Honestly, so. Mr. Wesley preached a sermon entitled, " The Cause and Cure of Earthquakes " [laughter], in which he took the ground that earthquakes were caused by sin, and the only way to stop them was to believe in ^he Lord Jesus Christ. [Great laughter.] No doubt an honest man. Wesley and Whit- field fell out on the question of predestination. Wesley insisted that God mvited everybody to the least. Whitfield said He didn't invite those whom He knew wouldn't come. [Laughter.] Wesley said he did. Whitfield said, Well, He didn't put plates for them, anyway. [Great laughter.] Wesley said he did, so that when they were in hell He could show them that there was a seat left for them. And that Church that they founded is still active. Probably no Church in the world has done as much preaching fcr as little money as the Methodist. [Great laughter.] Whit- field believed in- slavery, and advocated the slave trade. «And it was of Whitfield that Whittier mr ie the two lines : He bade the slaveships speed from coas to coast, Fanned by the wings of the Holy Ghosi . We had a meeting of the Methodists, and I find by their statistics that they believe that they have converted 130,000 folks in a year. And in order to do this they have 26,000 preachers, 226,000 Sunday-school scholars, and about $100,000,000 invested in church property. I find, in looking over the history of the world, that there are torty or fifty million people born a year, and if they are saved at ,the rate of 130,000 a year, ABOUT HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE for that doctrine to save this world ? [Laughter.] Good, honest people ; they are mistaken. In old times they were ■very simple. Their churches used to be like barns. They used to have them divided, — the men on this side, the women on that, — a little fortress. They have advanced since then, and they now find as a fact demonstrated by ex- perience that a man sitting by the woman he loves can 26 Wliaf Musi We Do /> Be Saved? tliank God as heartily as lhou;:;]i sitting between two men that he has never been introduced to. [Applause and lauf'hter.] There is another thing the Methodists ought to remember, and that is that the Episcopalians were the greatest enemies they ever had. And they should remem- ber that the Free-Thinkershave always treated them kindly and well. There is one thing about the Methodist Church \r\ the North that I like, but I find that it is not Methodism that does it. I find that the Methodist Church in the South is as much opposed to liberty as the Methodist Church North is in favor of liberty. So it is not Methodism that is in favor of liberty or slavery. They vary a little in their creed from the rest. They don't believe that God does every thing. They believe that He does His part, and that you must do the rest, and that getting to Heaven is a part- nership business. " • r V' The next Church, the Presbyterian, in my judgment, is the worst ot all [laughter ind applause], so far as creed is concerned. This Church was founded by John Calvin, a murderer. [Sensation.] John Calvin, having power in Geneva, inaugurated human torture. Voltaire abolished, torture in France. [Applause.] The man who abolished torture, if the Christian religion is true, God is now tortur- ing in hell ; and the man who inaugurated torture, he is now a glorified angel in Heaven. [Laughter.] It won't do. [Renewed laughter.] John Knox started this doctrine in Scotland ; and this is the peculiarity about Presbyterianism : It grows best where the soil is poorest. [Laughter.] I read the other day an account of a meeting between John Knox and John Calvin. Imagine a dialogue between a pestilence and a famine. [Convulsive laughter.] Imagine a conversation between a block and the axe. As I read their conversation it seemed to me as though John Knox and John Calvin were made for each other, and that they fitted each other like the upper and lower jaws of a wil3 beast. They believed happiness was a crime. They looked upon laughter as blasphemy. And they did all they could to destroy every human feeling, and to fill the mind with the infinite gloom of predestination and eternal damnation. [Applause.] They taught the doctrine that God had a 'mi Must We Do to Be Saved 1 r;^ "- W ngM to aaltin us because He made us. That is just the reason He has not a right to damn us. There is some dust — unconscious dust. What right has God to change that unconscious dust into a human being, when He knows that human being will live — when He knows that human being will suffer eternal agony ? Why not leave him in the unconscious dust ? [Applause.] What right has an infinite God to add to the sum of human agony ? Suppose I knew that I could change that piece of furniture [pointing to a chair] into a living, happy, sentient human being, and I knew that being would suifer untold agony forever. If I did it I would be a fiend. I would leave that being in unconscious dust. And yet we are told that we must believe\such doctrine or we are to be eternally damned It won't do. Why, in 1839 there was a division in this Church. They had a lawsuit to see which was the chrrch of God. [Laughter.] And they tried it before a judge and jury, and the jury decided that the New School WAS THE CHURCH OF GOD. Then they got a new trial, and the next jury decided that the Old School was the Church of God, and that settled it. [Great laughter.] And that Church teaches that infinite innocence was sacrificed for me. I don't want it. I don't wish to go to Heaven unless I can settle by the books, and go there because I have a right to go there. I have said, and I say again, I don't wish to be a charity angel. [Laughter.] I have no ambition to become a winged pauper of the sky. [Roars.] . The other day a young gentleman — a Presbyterian, who had just been converted — came to convert me. [Shouts of laughter]. He gave me a tract and told nie that he was perfectly happy. Humph ! [Laughter.] Said I : *• Do you think a great many people are going to hell ?" " O yes.' "And you are perfectly happy ?" "Well, he didn't know as he was — quite." [Laughter.] " Wouldn't you be happier if they were all going to Heaven?" " O, yes." " Well, then you are not perfectly happy ?" " No, he didn't think he was." [Laughter.] Said 1 : "When you go to Heaven you will be perfectly happy ?" " Oh, my ! yes," *' Now, when we are only going to Hell you are not 28 JV/iat Must We Do to Be Savedf »i juite happy, but when we are in Hell and you in Heaven then ;f»u will be perfectly happy. You won't be as decent when you get to be an angel as you are now, will you ?" [Laugh- ter.] Well, he said, that wasn't exactly it. [More laughter.! "Well," said I, " suppose your mother was in Hell, would you be happy in Heaven then ?" ** Well," he says, " I sup- pose God would know the best place lor mother." [Shouts on shouts of laughter.] And I thought to myself, then, if I was a woman I would like to have five or six boys like that. [Great laughter.] It will not do ; Heaven is where are those we love and those who love us [applause], and I wish to go to no world unless I can be accompanied by those who have loved me here. [Applause.] Talk about the consola^ tion ot this infamous doctrine, — the consolation of a doctrine that makes a father say, " I can be happy, with my daughter in Hell " ; that makes a mother say, ** I can be happy, with my generous, brave joy in Hell " ; that makes a boy say, *• I can enjoy the glory of Heaven, with the woman who bore me, the woman who would have died for me, in eternal agony." [Great applause.] And they call that ** tidings of great joy." [Great applause and laughter.] I have no time to speak of the Baptists [laughter], that Jeremy Taylor said were as much to be rooted out as any- thing that was the greatest pest and nuisance on earth [laughter] ; nor of the Quakers, the best of all, and abused by all. I cannot forget that George Fox, in the year of grace 1640, was put in the pillory, whipped from town to town, scarred, put in a dungeon, beaten, trampled upon, and what for ? Simply because he preached the doctrine, •* Thou shalt not resist evil with evil. Thou shalt love thine enemies." Think of what the Church must have been in that day. To scar the flesh of that loving man; just think of it ! I say I have no time to speak of all these sects, and of the varieties of Presbyterians, and of the Cambellites [laughter], — the people who think you must dive in order to get up. [Great laughter.] There are hundreds and hundreds of these sects all founded upon this creed that I read, differing simply in degree. ** Ah," but they say to me, ♦.* you are fighting something that is dead. Nobody believes Ihis now« What Must We Do to Be Saved 1 29 I THE PREACHERS DON't BELIEVE what they preach in the pulpit. The people in the pews don't believe what they hear preached." *' Oh," they say to me, ** you are fighting something th'^t is dead — that is all form. We don't believe a solitary creed. We signed it, and swore that we believed it, but we don't, and none of us do." [Laughter.] " And all the ministers," they say, ** in private admit that they don't believe in it — not quite." I don't know whether it is so or not ; I take it that they be- lieve what they preach. I take it that when they meet|and solemnly agree to a creed, I take it that they are honest, and believe in that creed. The Evangelical Alliance, com- posed of all the orthodox denominations in the world, n.jt only a few years ago, and here is their creed : " The Divine inspiration, authority, and sufficiency of the Holy Scrip- tures ; the right and duty of private judgment in the inter- pretation of the Holy Scriptures." But if you interpret wrong, you are damned. They believe in the unity of the Godhead, and the trinity of the persons therein. They be- lieve in the utter depravity of human nature ; and there can be no more infamous doctrine than that. They look upon a little child as a lump of depravity ; I look upon it as a bud of humanity — (applause) — that will, under proper circum- stances, blossom into rich and glorious life. (Applause). Total depravity of human nature ! Here is a woman whose husband has been lost at sea, and the news comes that he has been drowned by the ever-hungry waves. She waits, and something in her heart tells her he is alive. She waits, and years afterwards, as she looks down towards the little gate, sh€ sees him ; hu has been given back by the sea, and she rushes to his arms, covering his face with kisses and with tears. It that infamous doctrine is true, every tear is a crime and every kiss a blasphemy. It will not do. (Ap- plause). According to that doctrine, if a man steals, and repents, and takes back the property, the repentance and the taking back of the property are two other crimes, if he is totally depraved. It is an infamy. What else do they believe ? The justification of the sinner by faith alone ; not any works, just faith — believing something that you do not understand. Of course, God cannot afford to reward 4 maw jg • IV/iaf Must We Do to Be Saved? . v for bolievinff anything that is rcasonaSle ; pnbHcans ?.nd sinners beheve whrtt is reasonable ; God rewards you only for believing something that is unreasonable. If you believe something that you know is not so, you are a saint. [Laugh- ter.] Hut what else ? They believe in the eternal blessed- ness of the righteous and in the eternal punishment of the wicked. Tidings of great joy ! They are so good that they will '" NOT ASSOCIATE WITH UNIVERSALISTS ; . ^ they will not associate with Unitarians; they will not asso- ciate with Scientists ; they will only associate with those that believe that God so loved the world that He made up His mind to damn the most of us. [Laughter and ap- plause.] But then they say to me, " What do you propose ? You have torn down our hope, what do you propose to give in the place of it ?" I have not torn it down ; I have only endeavored to trample out the ignorant and cruel fires of Hell. I do not tear away the passage, ' God will be merciful to the merciful." I do not destroy the promise, " If you will forgive others, God will forgive you." [Applause.] 1 would not for anything blot out the faintest star that shines in the horizon of human despair, nor in the horizon of human hope ; but I will do what I can to get that infinite shadow out of the heart of man. [Loud applause.] *• What do you pro- pose in place of this ?" Well, in the first place, I propose good fellowship — good friends all round. No matter what we believe, shake hands, and say, " Let it go ; that is your opinion, this is mine ; let us be friends." Science makes friends ; rehgion, superstition, makes enemies. They say, belief is important ; i say, no ! actions are important ; judge by deeds, not by creeds. Good fellowship ! We have had too many of these solemn people. Whenever I see an ex- ceedingly solemn man, I know he is an exceedingly stupid man. [Laughter.] No man of any humor ever founded a religion — never. Humor sees both sides ; while reason is the holy light, humor carries the lantern ; and a m.an with a keen sense of humor is preserved from the solemn stupidi- ties of superstition. I like a man that has got good feeling for everybody. Good fellowship ! One man said to ^x\- W/iat Must We Do to Be Saved i 31 other, '* Will you take a pjlass of wine?" " I don't drink." " Will you smoke a cigar?" "I don't smoke." "Maybe you will chew sometliing ?" ** I don't chew." '* Let us eat some hay?" [Laughter.] "I don't eat hay." "Well, then, good bye — you are no company for either man or beast." [Laughter and applause.] I believe in the gospel of cheerfulness ; the gospel of good nature; in the gospel of good health. Let us pay some attention to our bodies ; take care of our bodies, and our souls will take care of themselves. Good health ! I be- lieve the time will come when the public thought will be so great and grand that it will be looked upon as infamous to perpetuate disease. I believe the time will come when men will not fill the future with consumption and with insanity. I believe the time will come when with studying ourselves and understandmg the laws of health, we will say we are under obligations to put the flags of health in the cheeks of our children. [Applause.] Even if I got to heaven, and had a harp, I would hate to look back upon my children and see them diseased, deformed, crazed, all suffenng the pen- alty of crimes that I had committed. [Loud applause.] I, then, believe in THE GOSPEL OF GOOD HEALTH, and I believe in the gospel of good living. You cannot make any God happy by fasting. [Laughter.] Let us have good food, and let us have it well cooked ; it is a thousand times better to know how to cook it, than it is to understand any theology in the world. [Loud applause.] I believe in the gospel of good clothes. I believe ia the gospel of good houses ; in the gospel of water and soap. [Laughter.] I believe in the gospel of intelligence ; in the gospel of education. The school-house is my cathedral ; the universe is my Bible. [Loud applause.] I believe in the gospel of justice, — that we must reap what we sow. I do not believe in forgiveness. If I rob Mr. Smith, and God forgives me, how does that help Smith ? [Laughter.] Tf I by slander cover some poor girl \ th the leprosy of some imputed crime, and she withers away Hke a blighted flower, and afterwards I get forgiveness, how does that help her ? If there is another world, we have got to settle ; no bankrupt 32 W/iaf Must We Do to Be Saved? court there. [Laughter and applause.] Pay down. Among the ancient Jews it you committed a crime you had to kill a sheep ; now they say, •* Charge it. [Laughter.] Put it on the slate." [Renewed laughter.] It won't do. For every crime you commit you must answer to yourself and to the one you injure. And if you have ever clothed another with unhappiness as with a garment of pain, you will never be quite as happy as though you hadn't done that thing. [Applause.] No forgiveness ; eternal, inexorable, everlasting justice — that is what I believe m. And if it goes hard with me, I will stand it. [Laughter.] And I will stick to my logic, and I will bear it like a man. [Applause.] And I believe, too, in the gospel of liberty, — of giving to others what we claim. And I believe there is room everywhere for thought, and the more liberty you give away the more you will have. In liberty extravaganca is economy. Let us be just, let us be generous to each other. I believe in the gospel of intelligence. That is the only lever capable of raising mankind. Intelligence must be the savior of the world. [Applause.] Humanity is the grand religion. And no God can put a man into Hell in another world who has made a little heaven in this. [Applause.] God cannot make miserable a man who has made somebody else happy. God cannot hate anybody who is capable of loving his neighbor. So I believe in this great gospel of generosity. Ah, but they say, it won't do. You must believe. I say no. My gospel of health will prolong life ; my gospel of intelli- gence, my gospel of loving, my gospel of good-fellowship will cover the world with happy homes. My doctrine will put carpets upon your floors, pictures upon your walls. My doctrine will put books upon your shelves, ideas in your mind. My doctrine will reheve the world of the abnormal monsters born ofthe ignorance of superstition. My doctrine will give us health, wealth, and happiness. That is what I want. That is what I beheve in. [Applause.] Give us intelligence, and in a little while a man will find that he cannot steal without robbing himself; he will find that he cannot murder without assassinating his owij joy. He will find that W/mf Must We Do to Be Saved? 33 EVERY CRIME IS A MISTAKE. He will find that only that man carries a cross who does wrong, and for the man who does right the cross changes into wings on his shoulders and bears him upwards forever. He will find that intelligent self-love embraces within its mighty arms all the human race. [Applause.] Ah, but they say to me, you take away immortality. I do not. If we are immortal, it is a fact in nature. We are not indebted to priests for it, nor to bibles for it, and it cannot be destroyed by unbelief. As long as we love we will hope to live, and when one dies we will say we hope to meet again. [Ap- plause.] And whether we do or not, it will not be the work of theology. It will be a fact in nature. I would not, for my life, destroy one star of human hope ; but I want it so, that when a poor woman rocks the cradle and sings a lullaby to the dimpled darling, she will not be compelled to believe that ninety-nine chances in a hundred she is making kindling- wood for hell. [Laughter and applause.] One world at a time. That is my doctrine. [Applause.] It is said in this Testament, " Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." And I say, sufficient unto the world is the evil thereof. And suppose, after ail, that death does end all. Next to eternal joy, next to being forever with those we love and those who have loved us, next to that is to be wrapped in the dreamless drapery of eternal peace. [Ap- plause.] Next to eternal life is eternal death. [Applause.] Upon the shadowy shore of death the SEA OF TROUI LE CASTS NO WAVE. Eyes that have l)een curtained by the everlasting dark will never know, again the'touch of tears. Lips that have been touched by the eternal silence will never utter another word of grief. Hearts of dust do not break. The dead do not weep. And I had rather think of those I have loved, and those I have lost, as having returned to earth, as having be- come a part of the elemental wealth of the world. I would rather think of them as unconscious dust. I would rather think of them as gurgling in the stream, floating in the cloud, bursting into light upon the shores of worlds. I would rather think of them thus than to have even a suspi- 34 : • W/m/ Must We Do to Be Saved 1 cion that their houIs had l)een clutched by an orthodox God. [Great applause.] But for me I will leave the dead where nature leaves them, and whatever flower of hope springs up n my heart I w.l cherish. But I cannot believe that fhere IS any being m this universe who has created a soul for eternal pa.n and I would rather that every God would de- stroy himself, I would rather that we all should go back to |he eternal chaos, to the black and starless night, than that just one soul should sufTer eternal agony. [Great applause ] iirrifn^'t .y" '"^ "'."'J '^^' " '">^^^ '^ ^ G°d He will bj F st/n/l^ Th , ^ '^'" ^'''^'^'' "'^ forgiving ; upon that rock that?l,;r.Tc ^"^7^™^" '^"""'^ "^^ "■"'^ t° himsell, and that there IS no world, no star, in which honesty is a crime ; and upon that rock I stand. An honest man, a good, kind swee woman, or a happy child, has nothing to ffar, neitW s and""""/! ""i' '" '^ ^"''^ t° ^°™^ ; ^nd upon that rock 1 stand. [Loud applause.] \'^ V .' J'S ' r ■ :