'tf' W('"""'i I "-VllJlF-Mtll^" 
 
 / 
 
 -«55^ 
 
/' ■■ ' 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION 
 
>.^T>^mrn|UMt<jv»,.L^pifl^ ^M^w ■ I k.-"! WH.^11""! 
 
 BOOKS BY MRS. EVERARD COTES 
 
 (SARA JEANNETTE DUNCAN). 
 UNIFORM EDITION. 
 
 A Voyage of Consolation. 
 
 Illustrated. i2mo. Cloth, $1.50. 
 
 His Honour, and a Lady. 
 
 Illustrated. i2mo. Cloth, $1.50. 
 
 Tlie Story of Sonny Sahib. 
 
 Illustrated. i2mo. Cloth, f i.oo. 
 
 Vernon's Aunt. 
 
 With many Illustrations. i2mo. Cloth, $1.25. 
 
 A Daughter of To=Day. 
 
 A Novel. i2mo. Cloth, $1.50. 
 
 A Social Departure. 
 
 How Orthodocia and I Went Round tiik 
 World by Oursklvf.s. With 11 1 Illustrations 
 by F. H. TowNSEND. i2mo. Paper, 75 cents ; 
 cloth, $1.75. 
 
 An American Girl in London. 
 
 With 80 Illustrations by F. H. Townsend. i2mo. 
 Paper, 75 cents ; cloth, $1.50. 
 
 The Simple Adventures of a Memsahib. 
 
 With 37 Illustrations by F. H. Townsend. i2mo. 
 Cloth, $1.50. 
 
 New York: D. APPLETON & CO., 72 Fifth Avenue. 
 
"Jamais !" 
 
 (See page 156.) 
 
A VOYAGE 
 OF CONSOLATION 
 
 (BEING IN THE NATURE OF 
 A SEQUEL TO THE EXPERIENCES OF 
 "AN AMERICAN GIRL IN LONDON") 
 
 BY 
 
 SARA JEANNETTE DUNCAN 
 
 (MRS. EVERARD COTES) 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 SOCIAL DEPARTURE, AN AMERICAN 
 A DAUGHTER OF TO-DAY 
 
 (;iRI. IN LONDON, 
 
 , Vernon's aunt, the 
 
 STORY OF SONNY SAHIB, HIS HONOUR 
 AND A LADY. 
 
 ETC. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED 
 
 NEW YORK 
 D. APPLETON AND COMPANY 
 
 1898 
 

 145248 
 
 CoPYRiOHT, 1897, 1898, 
 By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY. 
 
 m 
 
 ■'i 
 
 1 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 "Jamais!" 
 
 I\Ioinnia was cnjovin-^ herself 
 
 " I cx[)cct you've seen these before " 
 
 Breakfast with Dicky Dotl . 
 
 "Are you paid to make faces?" . 
 
 We followed the monks 
 
 Dicky shouted till the skeletons turned 
 
 We were sitting in a narrow balcony 
 
 " I'm not a crowned head ! " 
 
 " Do you see ? " . 
 
 Fervent apologies .... 
 
 " Whom are you going to marry ? " 
 
 FAriNO 
 i'AUK 
 
 to 
 
 iste 
 
 Front iHj)iice 
 
 . 3G 
 
 . 45 
 
 . 99 
 
 . 140 
 
 . 1G9 
 
 . 189 
 
 . 194 
 
 . 208 
 
 . 250 
 
 . 20.") 
 
 . 323 
 
 
 m 
 m 
 
A YOVAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 CIIAPTEE I. 
 
 It seems iucxoiisaLle to roiniiul tlio public tliat ono 
 has written a book. Poppa says I ought not to feel that 
 way about it — that he might just as well be shy about 
 referring to the baking soda that he himself invented — 
 but I do, and it is with every apology that I mention it. 
 I once had such a good time in England that I printed 
 my experiences, and at the very end of the volume it 
 seemed necessary to admit that I was engaged to Mr. 
 Arthur Greenleaf Page, of Yale College, Connecticut. 
 I remember thinking this was indiscreet at the time, 
 but I felt compelled to bow to the requirements of fic- 
 tion. I was my own heroine, and I had to be disposed 
 of. 'J'here seemed to be no alternative. I did not wish 
 to marry ]\Ir. Maiferton, even for literary purposes, and 
 Peter Corke's suggestion, that I should cast myself over- 
 board in mid-ocean at the mere idea of living anywhere 
 out of England for the future, was autobiographically 
 impossible even if T had felt so inclined. So T connnitted 
 the indiscretion. In order that the w^orld might be as- 
 sured that my heroine married and lived hajjpily ever 
 
2 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 afterwards, T took it proniaturoly into my oonfidcnce 
 regarding my intention. The thing that occurred, as 
 naturally and inevitably as the rain if you leave your 
 umbrella at home, was that within a fortnight after my 
 return to Chicago my engagement to Mr. Page teniii- 
 nated; and the even more painful consecpience is that I 
 feel obliged on that account to refer to it again. 
 
 Even an American man has his lapses into unreason- 
 ableness. Arthur especially encouraged the idea of my 
 going to England on the ground that it would be so 
 formative. lie said that to gaze upon the headsman's 
 block in the Tower was in itself a liberal education. 
 As we sat together in the drawing-room — monmia and 
 poppa always preferred the sitting-room when Arthur 
 was there — he used to gild all our future with the cul- 
 ture which I should acquire by actual contact with the 
 hoary traditions of Great Britain. He advised me ear- 
 nestly to disembark at Liverpool in a receptive and ap- 
 preciative, rather than a critical and antagonistic, state 
 of mind, to endeavour to assimilate all that was worth 
 assimilating over there, remembering that this might 
 give me as much as I wanted to do in the time. I re- 
 member he expressed himself rather finely about the 
 only proper attitude for Americans visiting England 
 being that of magnanimity, and about the claims of kin- 
 shi}), only once removed, to our forbearance and affec- 
 tion. He put me on my guard, so to speak, alout only 
 one thing, and that was spelling. American spelling, 
 he said, had become national, and attachment to it 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ranked next to patriotism. Such words as " color," 
 " program," " center," had obsolete English forms which 
 I could only accpiire at the sacrifice of my independ- 
 ence, and the surrender of my birthright to make such 
 improvements ujion the common language as I thought 
 desirable. And I know that I was at some inconvenience 
 to mention " color," " program," and " center," in sev- 
 eral of my letters just to assure Mr. Page that my 
 orthography was not in the least likely to be under- 
 mined. 
 
 Indeed, I took his advice at every point. I hope 
 I do not presume in asking you to remember that I did. 
 I know I was receptive, even to penny buns, and some- 
 times simply wild witli api)reciation. I found it as 
 easy as possible to subdue the critical spirit, 6ven in 
 connection with things which I should never care to 
 approve of. I shook hands with Lord Mafferton with- 
 out the slightest personal indignation with him for being 
 a peer, and remember thinking that if he had been a 
 duke I should have had just the same charity for him. 
 Indeed, I was sorry, and am still sorry, that during the 
 four months I spent in England T didn't meet a single 
 duke. This is less surprising than it looks, as they are 
 known to be very scarce, and at least a (piarter of a mil- 
 lion Americans visit Great Britain every year; but I 
 should like to have known one or two. As it was, four 
 or five knights — knights are very thick — one baronet, 
 Lord Mafferton, one maripiis — but we had no conversa- 
 tion — one colonel of militia, one Lord Mavor, and a 
 
if'ftijiff^ntwifi .'iumn,, '>^im'JVif'''iT'W 
 
 4 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 llorse Guard, rank unknown, comprise my ac(iuaintancc 
 with the aristocracy. A duke or so woukl have com- 
 pleted the set. And the magnanimity which I woukl 
 so willingly have stretched to include a duke spread itself 
 over other British institutions as amply as Arthur could 
 have wished. When I saw things in Hyde Park on 
 Sunday that I was compelled to find excuses for, I 
 thought of the tyrant's iron heel; and when I was 
 obliged to overlook the superiorities of the titled great, 
 I reflected upon the difficulty of walking in iron heels 
 without inconveniencing a prostrate population. I 
 should defy anybody to be more magnanimous than I 
 was. 
 
 As to the claims of kinship, only once removed, to 
 our forbearance and affection, 1 never so much as sat 
 out a dance on a staircase with Oddie Pratte without 
 recognising them. 
 
 . It seems almost incredible that Arthur should not 
 have been gratified, but the fact remains that he was 
 not. Anyone could see, after the first half hour, that 
 he was not. During the first half hour it is, of course, 
 impossible to notice anything. We had sunk to the 
 level of generalities when I happened to mention 
 Oddie. 
 
 " He had darker hair than you have, dear," I said, 
 " and his eyes were blue. Not sky blue, or china blue, 
 but a kind of sea blue on a cloudy day. He had rather 
 good eyes," I added reminiscently. 
 
 "Had he?" said Arthur. 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 " But your noses," I went on reassuringly, " were 
 not to be compared with each other." 
 
 ''Oh!" said Arthur. 
 
 " lie luas so impulsive! " I couldn't help snuling a 
 little at the recollection. " But for that matter they 
 all were." 
 
 '' Impulsive? " asked Arthur. 
 
 " Yes. llidiculoi ly so. They thought as little of 
 proposing as of asking one to dance." 
 
 ''Ah!" said Arthur. 
 
 " Of course, I never accepted any of them, even 
 for a moment. But they had such a way of taking 
 things for granted. Why one man actually thought 
 I was engaged to him! " 
 
 '^ Really! " said Arthur. " May I inquire " 
 
 " No, dear," I replied, " I think not. I couldn't 
 tell anybody about it — for his sake. It was all a silly 
 mistake. Some of them," I added thoughtfully, '' were 
 very stupid." 
 
 '^ Judging from the specimens that find their way 
 over here," Arthur remarked, " I should say there was 
 plenty of room in their heads for their brains." 
 
 Arthur was sitting on the other side of the fireplace, 
 and by this time his expression was aggressive. I 
 thought his remark unnecessarily caustic, but I did not 
 challenge it. 
 
 " Some of them were stupid," I repeated, " but they 
 were nearly all nice." And I went on to say that what 
 Chicago people as a whole thought about it I didn't 
 
6 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 know and T didn't caro, but so far as my experience 
 went the English were the loveliest nation in the 
 world. 
 
 " A nation like a box of strawberries," Mr. Page 
 suggested, " all the big ones on top, a]^ the little ones 
 at the bottom." 
 
 " That doesn't matter to lis," I replied cheerfnlly, 
 " we never get any further than the top. And you'll 
 admit there's a great tendency for little ones to shake 
 down. It's only a question of time. They've had so 
 much time in England. You see the effects of it every- 
 where." 
 
 " Xot at all. By no means. Our little strawberries 
 rise," he declared. 
 
 " Do they? Dear me, so they do! I suppose the 
 American law of gravity is different. In England they 
 would certainly smile at that." 
 
 Arthur said nothing, but his whole bearing ex- 
 pressed a contempt for puns. 
 
 " Of course," I said, ^' I mean the loveliest nation 
 after Americans." 
 
 I thought he might have taken that for granted. 
 Instead, he looked incredulous and smiled, in an observ- 
 ing, superior way. 
 
 " Why do you say ' ahf ter ' ? " he asked. His tone 
 was sweetly acidulated. 
 
 " Why do you say ' affter ' ? " I replied simply. 
 
 " Because," he answered with quite unnecessary 
 emphasis, " in the part of the world I come from every- 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 7 
 
 body says it. Bocaiiso my mother has brought mo up 
 to say it." 
 
 " Oh," I sail', lookin«j; at the lamp, " they say it like 
 that in other parts of tlie world too. In Yorkshire — and 
 sncli places. As far as mothers go, I must tell you 
 that monuna approves of my pronunciation. She 
 likes it better than anytliing else I have brought 
 back with me — even my tailor-mades — and thinks 
 it wonderful that I should have acquired it in the 
 
 tune 
 
 >> 
 
 *' Don't you think you could remember a little of 
 your good old American? Doesn't it seem to come back 
 to you?" 
 
 All the Wicks hate sarcasm, especially from those 
 they love, and I certainly had not outgrown my fond- 
 ness for ^Ir. Page at this time. 
 
 " It all came back to me, my dear Arthur," I said, 
 " the moment you opened your lips! " 
 
 At that not only Mr. Page's features and his shirt 
 front, but his whole personality seemed to stiffen. He 
 sat up and made an outward movement on tin; seat of 
 his chair which signified, " ]\rv hat and overcoat are in 
 the hall, and if you do not at once retract " 
 
 " Rather than allow anytliing to issue from them 
 which would im])ly that I was not an American I would 
 keep them closed for ever," he said. 
 
 " You needn't worry about that," T observed. 
 " Nothing ever will. But I don't know why we should 
 glory in talking through our noses." Involuntarily I 
 
8 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 played with my ongageiiiont ring, slipping it up and 
 down, as I spoke. 
 
 Arthur rose with an expression of tok'rant amuse- 
 ment — entirely forced — and stood by the fireplace, lie 
 stood beside it, with his elbow on the mantelpiece, not 
 in front of it with his legs apart, and I thought with a 
 pang how much more graceful the American attitude 
 was. 
 
 " Have you come back to tell us that we talk through 
 our noses? " he asked. 
 
 " I don't like being called an Anglomaniac," I re- 
 plied, dro])ping my ring from one finger to another. 
 Fortunately I was sitting in a rocking chair — the only 
 one I had not been able to persuade momma to have 
 taken out of the drawing-room. The rock was a con- 
 siderable relief to my nerves. 
 
 " I knew that the cockneys on the other side were 
 fond of inventing fictions about what they are pleased 
 to call the ' American accent,' " continued Mr. Page, 
 with a scorn which I felt in the very heels of my shoes, 
 " but I confess I thought you too patriotic to be taken 
 in by them." 
 
 " Taken in by them " was hard to bear, but I thought 
 if I said nothing at this point we might still have a 
 peaceful evening. So I kept silence. 
 
 " Of course, I speak as a mere product of the Ameri- 
 can Constitution — a common unit of the democracy," 
 he went on, his sentences gathering wrath as he rolled 
 them out, " but if there were such a thing as an Ameri- 
 
■trti^m^rwimfww^i^rw^m^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 9 
 
 can accent, I tliiiik I've lived long; enoiiiili, and patrolled 
 this little I'aiion of ours extensively enough, to hear it 
 by this time. ]iut it ai)pears to he necessary to reside 
 four months in Kngland, mixing freely with earls and 
 coimtesses, to detect it." 
 
 " Perhaps it is," I said, and I inriy have smiled. 
 
 " I should hate to pay the price." 
 
 !Mr. Page's tone distinctly expressed that the society 
 of earls and countesses would be, to him, contaminating. 
 
 Again I made no reply. I wanted the American 
 accent to drop out of the conversation, if possible, but 
 Fate had willed it otherwise. 
 
 '' I sai, y'know, awfly hard luck, you're havin' to 
 settle down amongst these barbarians again, bai Jove! " 
 
 I am not quite sure that it's a proper term for us(^ 
 in a book, but by this time I was mad. There was crit- 
 (icism in my voice, and a distinct chill as I said com- 
 posedly, " You don't do it very well." 
 
 I did not look at him, I looked at the lamp, but there 
 was that in the air which convinced me that we had 
 arrived at a crisis. 
 
 " I suppose not. I'm not a marquis, nor the end 
 man at a minstrel show. I'm only an American, like 
 sixty million other Americans, and the language of 
 Abraham Lincoln i;, good enough for me. But I sup- 
 pose I, like the other sixty million, emit it through my 
 nose! " 
 
 " I should be sorry to contradict you," I said. 
 
 Arthur folded his arms and gathered himself up 
 
10 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 until he appeared to ta])er from his stem hke a florist's 
 boiKpiet, and all the npper part of liim was pink and 
 trembling with emotion. Arthur ma}' one day attain 
 corpulence; he is already well rounded. 
 
 " I need hardly say," he said majestieally, " that 
 when I did myself the honour of proposing, I was under 
 the impression that I had a suitable larynx to offer 
 you." 
 
 " You see I didn't know," I murmured, and by acci- 
 dent I dropped my engagement ring, which rolled upon 
 the carpet at his feet, lie stooped and picked it up. 
 
 " Shall I take this with nie^ " he asked, and 1 said 
 *' By all means." 
 
 That was all. 
 
 I gave ten minutes to reflection and to the possibility 
 of Arthur's coming back and pleading, on his knees, 
 to be allowed to restore that defective larvnx. Then I 
 went straight upstairs to the telephone and rang up the 
 Central office. When they replied " 7/e//o," I said, in 
 the moderate and concentrated tone which we all use 
 through telephones, " Can you give me New York? " 
 
 Poppa was in New York, and in an emergency poppa 
 and I always turn to one another. There was a delay, 
 during which I listened attentively, with one eye closed 
 — I believe it is the sign of an unbalanced intellect to 
 shut one eye when you use the telephone, but I needn't 
 go into that — and presently I got New York. In a few 
 minutes more I was accommodated with the Fifth 
 Avenue Hotel. 
 
^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 11 
 
 '' Mr. T. P. AVic'k, of Chicago," I (Icinanded. 
 
 *' /s his room number SId-ly-two? " 
 
 That is the kind of mind whicli V(>ii usually find 
 attached to the Xew York end of a trans-American tele- 
 phone, liut one does not bandy words across a thousand 
 miles of country with a hotel clerk, so 1 merely re- 
 sponded: 
 
 " Very probably." 
 
 There was a pause, and then the still small voice 
 came again. 
 
 " il//'. WicJc is in heel at present. Anythimj im- 
 poriant? " 
 
 I reflected that while I in Chicago was speaking to 
 the hotel clerk at half-past nine o'clock, the hotel clerk 
 in Xew York was speaking to me at eleven. This in 
 itself was enough to make our conversation disjointed. 
 
 " Y"es," I responded, '' it is important. Ask Mr. 
 AVick to get out of bed." 
 
 Sufficient time elapsed to enable poppa to put on his 
 clothes and come down bv the elevator, and then I 
 heard : 
 
 '^ Mr. }Yich is now speaking.^^ 
 
 " Y"es, poppa," I replied, " I guess you are. Y^oiir 
 old American accent comes singing across in a way that 
 no member of your familv would ever mistake. But 
 you needn't be stiff about it. Sorry to disturb you." 
 
 Poppa and I were often personal in our intercourse. 
 I had not the slightest hesitation in mentioning his 
 American accent. 
 
-V 
 
 12 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 "■y/fV/o, Mamie! DonH mcnlion it. TI7m/'s upf 
 House on fire? Wdlvr pipes hurst? StriL'e in the 
 liilrlieii? t^ound the alarnt — send for i/ie plumljer — 
 raise Gladys's ivages and sack Mar()uerite.^'' 
 
 " JMy cn^ajjjcmont to ^Ir. I*a<;(' is broken. Do you 
 get me? Wliat do you suj>'^('st^ " 
 
 1 heard a whistle, wliich I cannot express in italics, 
 and then, contidentiallv; 
 
 "i'ow donH say so! Bad break? " 
 
 " Very," I responded firndy. 
 
 "Any details of the disaster availahle? What? " 
 
 " Not at present," I replied, for it would have been 
 diffienlt to send them by t(dei)hone. 
 
 I could hear Jioj)])a considering- the matter at the 
 other end. lie coughed once or twice and made some 
 indistinct inipiiries of the hotel clerk. Then he called 
 my attention a<^ain. 
 
 ''Hello!'' he said. ''On to me? All right. Go 
 abroad. Always done. Paris, Ve)iicc, Florence, Rome, 
 and the other places. Vll stand in. Germanic sails 
 Wednesdays. Start by night train to-morrow. Bring 
 momma. We can get Germanic in good shape and ten 
 minutes to spare. Bight?'' 
 
 " Right," I responded, and hung up the handle. I 
 did not wish to keep popjia out of bed any longer than 
 was necessary, he was already up so much later than I 
 was. I turned away from the instrument to go down 
 stairs again, and there, immediately behind me, stood 
 momma. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 13 
 
 '^ Wt'll, really! " I exclaiiiuMl. It did not occur to 
 mv that the privacy of tclcphoiiic ctniiinunicatioii hv- 
 twccn Chicago and Xcw Voi'k was not inviolahlc. 1^(»- 
 sidcs, there are moments when one feels a little annoyed 
 with one's momma for having so lightly undertaken 
 one's existence. This was one of them. Hut I decided 
 not to express it. 
 
 ** 1 was only going to say," I remarked, " that if I 
 had shrieked it would have been your fault." 
 
 '' I knew everything," said monniia, " the minute 
 1 heard him shut the gate. 1 came up immediatcdy, and 
 all this time, dear, you've been coniiding iu us both, 
 ^ly dear daughter." 
 
 Momma carries about with her a well-spring of sen- 
 timent, which she did not be(iueath to me. In that re- 
 spect I take almost entirely after my otlu^r jwreut. 
 
 '' Ycry well," I said, " then I won't have to do it 
 again." 
 
 ller look of disappointment compelled me to speak 
 with decision. " I know what you would like at this 
 juncture, momma. You'd like me to get down on the 
 floor and put my head in your \a\) and weep all over 
 your new brocade. That's what you'd really enjoy. 
 But, under circumstances like these, I never do thinas 
 like that. ]N"ow the question is, can you get ready to 
 start for Europe to-morrow night, or have you a head- 
 ache coming on? " 
 
 llomma said that she expected Mrs. Judge Simmons 
 to tea to-morrow afternoon, that she hadn't been think- 
 
.<■ .Mt^Tf^'^^^mmfw* 
 
 14 
 
 A VOYAiJK OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ing of it, and lliat slic was out of nerve tincture. At 
 least, tliese were lier j»riii('ij)al (tl)j('('ti(Mis. 1 said, on 
 mature eonsi<leratiou, I didn't see wiiy Mrs. Simmons 
 shouldn't eome to tea, that tliere were twenty-four lioura 
 for all necessary thinkin^i;, and that a gallon of nerve 
 tincture, if required, could he at her disposal in ten 
 minutes. 
 
 " lieing Protestants," T added, " T suppose a convent 
 wouldn't he of any use to us — what do you thinks" 
 
 Momma thought she could go. 
 
 There was no need for. hurry, and 1 attended to only 
 one other matter hefore I went to bed. That was a com- 
 munication to the Herald, which I sent off in plenty of 
 time to appear in the morning. It was addressed to the 
 Society Editor, and ran as follows: 
 
 " The marriage arranged between Professor Arthur 
 Greenleaf J^age, of Yale University, and Miss Mamie 
 AVick, of 14515, Lakeside-avenue, Chicago, will not take 
 place, ^[r. and Mrs. Wick, and Miss AVick, sail for 
 Europe on Wednesday by s.s. Germanic." 
 
 I reflected, as I closed my eyes, that Arthur was a 
 regular reader of the Herald. 
 
'■•• 
 
 riTAPTER IT. 
 
 V^^E mot poppa oil tin; Oonnanie ganji^vay, his hat 
 on the back of his head and one tinj;er in each of his 
 waistcoat ])ocl<('ts, an attitii(h? wiiich, with him, always 
 hotokcns concern. The vesscd was at that sta^o of de- 
 j)artiirc when the jieople who have been turned off arc 
 feeling- injured that it slionld have l)een done so soon, 
 and apj)arently oii'y the wei^-lit of j)oj)pa's personality 
 on its Xew York end kejit the |[i;antr,way out. As wo 
 drove np he ap])eared to lift his little finger and three 
 dishevel k'd navigators darted upon the cab. They and 
 we and our trunks swept np the gangway together, which 
 immediately closed behind ns, under the direction of 
 an extremely irritated looking Chief Officer. We re- 
 united as a family as well as we could in connection 
 with uncoiled ropes and ship discipline. Then poppa, 
 with his watch in his hand, exclaimed reproachfully, 
 well in hearing of the Chief Officer, " I gave you ten 
 minutes and you had ten minutes. You stopped at 
 Huyler's for candy, I'll lay my last depreciated dollar 
 on it." 
 
 My other parent looked guiltily at some oblong boxes 
 
 tied up in white paper wdth narrow red ribbon, which, 
 
 16 
 
16 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 innocently enough I consitlcr, enhance tlie vahie of life 
 to us both. But she ignored the charge — momma hates 
 arguments. 
 
 " Dear me! " she said, as the space widened between 
 us and the docks. " So we are all going to Europe to- 
 gether this morning! I can hardly realise it. Farewell 
 America! How interesting life is." 
 
 " Yes," replied poppa. " And now I guess I'd better 
 show you your cabins before it gets any more inter- 
 esting." 
 
 AVe had a calm evening, though nothing would in- 
 duce momma to think so, and at ten o'clock Senator 
 J. P. AVick and I were still pacing the deck talking 
 business. The moon rose, and threw Arthur's shadow 
 across our conversation, but we looked at it with pre- 
 cision and it moved away. That is one of poppa's most 
 comforting characteristics, he would as soon open his 
 bosom to a shot-gun as to a confidence. He asked for 
 details through the telephone merely for bravado. As | 
 
 a matter of fact, if I had begun to send them he would J 
 
 have rung off the connection and said it was an acci- f 
 
 dent. We dipped into politics, and I told the Senator | 
 
 that while I considered his speech on the Silver Compro- * 
 
 mise a credit to the family on the whole, I thought he 
 had let himself out somewhat unnecessarily at the ex- - 
 
 pense o^ the British nation. ' 4 
 
 " We are always twisting a tail," I said reproach- % 
 
 fully, " that does nothing but wag at us." 
 
 This poppa reluctantly admitted with the usual refer- 
 
•»W«mWJir«mJjW 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 17 
 
 once to the Irish vote. AVe both hoped sincerely that 
 any English friends who saw that speech, and pansed 
 to realise that the orator was a parent of mine, wonld 
 consider the number of Irish resident in Illinois, and 
 the amount of invective which their feelings recpiire. 
 Poppa doesn't real1' know sometimes whether he is him- 
 self or a shillelagh, but whatever his temporary political 
 capacity he is never ungrateful. He went on to give me 
 the particulars of his interview with the President 
 about the Chicago Post Office, and then I gTadually 
 unfolded my intention of prep, ring our foreign exi)eri- 
 ences as a family for publicatioii in book form. While 
 I was unfolding it i)oppa eyed me askance. 
 
 " Is that usual? " he inquired. 
 
 " Very usual indeed," I replied. 
 
 " I mean — under the circumstances? " 
 
 " Under what circumstances? " I demanded boldly. 
 I knew that nothing would induce him to sjiecifv them. 
 
 " Oh, I only meant — it wasn't exactlv mv idea." 
 
 " AVhat was your idea — exactly? " It was mean of 
 me to put poppa to the blush, but I had to define the 
 situation. 
 
 " Oh," said he, witli unlooked-for heroism, " I was 
 basing my calculations wdth reference to you on the dis- 
 tractions of change — Paris dry-goods, rowing round 
 Venice in gondolas, riding through the St. Gothard 
 tunnel, and the healing hand of time. I don't intend 
 to give a day less than six weeks to it. I'm looking for- 
 ward to the tranquilising effect of the antique some 
 
■w;^-" 'Fm— '^ ^f^^yywm'' 
 
 18 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 myself," ho added, hedging. " I find these new self- 
 risers that we've undertaken to earrv almost more than 
 my temjM'rament can stand. They went up from an out- 
 put of five hundred dollars to six hundred and fifty 
 thousand, and baek again inside seven days last month. 
 I'm looking forward to examining something that hasn't 
 moved for a couple of thousand years with considerable 
 pleasure." 
 
 "Po])pa," said I, ignoring the self-risers, "if you were 
 as particular al)out the quality of your fiction as you are 
 about the quality of your table-butter, you would know 
 vhat the best heroines never have recourse to such meas- 
 ures now. They are simply obsolete. Except for my 
 literary intention, I should be ashamed to go to Europe 
 at all — under the circumstances. But that, you see, 
 brings the situation up to date. I transmit my Euro- 
 pean impressions through the prism of damaged affec- 
 tion. Nothing could be more modern." 
 
 " I see," replied poppa, rubbing his chin searchingly, 
 which is his manner of expressing sagacious doubt. His 
 beard descends from the lower part of his chin in the 
 long unfettered American manner, without which it 
 is impossible for Punch to indicate a citizen of the 
 United States. When he positively disapproves he pulls 
 it severely. 
 
 '^ But Europe's been done before, you know," he 
 continued. " In fact, I don't know any continent more 
 popular than Europe with people that want to publish 
 books of travel. It's been done before.'* 
 
 i 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 19 
 
 '' Never," I rejoined, " in connection with you, 
 
 poppa! " 
 
 Poppa removed his hand from his chin. 
 
 " Oh, if I'm to assist, that's quite another anecdote," 
 lie said hriskly. '' I didn't understand you intended 
 to ring me in. Of course, I don't mean to imply there 
 is any special prejudice against books of travel in Eu- 
 rope. About how many pages did you think of run- 
 ning it to? " 
 
 " My idea was three hundred," I replied. 
 
 " And how many words to a page? " 
 
 " Two hundred and lifty — more or less." 
 
 ''That's seventy-five thousand words! Pretty big 
 undertaking, if you look at it in bulk." 
 
 " We shall have to rely upon momma," I remarked. 
 
 Poppa's expression disparaged the idea, and he began 
 to feel round for his beard. 
 
 " If I were you," he said, " I wouldn't place much 
 dependence on momma. She'll be able to give you a 
 few hints on sunsets and a pointer or two about the 
 various Venuses, likely — she's had photographs of sev- 
 eral of them in the house for years — but I expect it's 
 going to be a question of historical fact pretty often, 
 and momma won't be in it. Not that I want to choke 
 momma off," he continued, " but she will necessitate 
 a whole reference library. And in some parts of Eu- 
 rope I believe they charge you for every pound of 1 ig- 
 gage, including your lunch, if you don't happen to have 
 concealed it in your person." 
 

 20 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " We'll luivo to pill her down to the guide-books," 
 I remarked. 
 
 " That depends. I've always understood that the 
 guide-book market was largely controlled by Mv. Mur- 
 ray and ]\lr. Baedeker. Also, that Mr. Murray writes 
 in a yein of pretty lofty sentiment, while ^Ir. Baedeker 
 is about as interesting as a directory. Xow where the 
 right emotion is included at the price I don't see the 
 use of monuna, but when it's a question of Baedeker 
 we might turn her on. See? " 
 
 " Pojipa," I replied with emotion, " you will both 
 be inyaluable. I will bid you good-night. I believe 
 the electric light burns all night long in the smoking- 
 cabin, but that is not supposed to indicate that gentle- 
 men are expected to stay there till dawn. I see you 
 have two llavanas left. That will be quite enough for 
 one evening. Good-night, poppa." 
 
"rv'TT'—rru i„»»T y^w UBS 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 All tlio way across momma implored me to become 
 reconciled to Arthur. In extreme moments, when it 
 was very choppy, she composed telegrams on lines which 
 were to drive him wild with contrition without com- 
 promising my dignity; and when I suggested the ditli- 
 cnlty of tampering with the Atlantic cable in mid-ocean 
 without a diving machine, she wept, hinting that, if I 
 were a true daughter of hers, things would never have 
 come to such a pass. My position, from a filial point 
 of view, was most trying. I could not deny my re- 
 sponsibility for momma's woes — she never left her cabin 
 — yet I was powerless to put an end to them. Young 
 women in novels have thrown themselves into the arms 
 of the wrong man under far less parental pressure, but 
 although it was indeed the hour the man was not avail- 
 able. Xeither, such was the irony of circumstances, 
 would our immediate union have affected the motion 
 in the slightest degree. But although I presented these 
 considerations to momma many times a day, she ad- 
 hered so persistently to the idea of promoting a happy 
 reunion that I was obliged to keep a very careful eye 
 
 on the possibility of surreptitious messages from Liver- 
 
 21 
 
22 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 pool. Once on dry land, howover, nioninia saw her 
 duty in another liglit. I might say that she swallowed 
 her j)rinci})les with the first meal she really enjoyed, 
 after whieh she expressed her eonvietion that it was best 
 to let the dead past bury its dead, so long as the obse- 
 quies did not necessitate her immediate return to 
 America. 
 
 I was looking forward immensely to observing the 
 Senator in London, remembering the effect it had upon 
 my own imagination, but on our arrival he conducted 
 himself in a manner which can only be described as non- 
 committal, lie went about with his hands in his pockets, 
 smoking large cigars with an air of reserved criticism 
 that vastly impressed the waiters, acquiescing in straw- 
 berry jam for breakfast, for example, in a manner which 
 said that, although this might be to him a new and 
 ccmqilex custom, he was acquainted with Chicago ones 
 much more recondite, llis air was superior, but mod- 
 estly so, and if he said nothing you would never sup- 
 pose it was because he had nothing to say. lie meant 
 to give Great Britain a chance before he pronounced 
 anything distinctly unfavourable even to her steaks, 
 and in the meantime to remember what an up-to-date 
 American owes to his country's reputation in the hotels 
 of a foreign town. 
 
 He was verv much at his ease, and I saw him look- 
 ing at a couple of just introduced Englishmen embark- 
 ing in conversation, as if he wondered what could pos- 
 sibly be the matter with them. I am sorry that I can't 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 23 
 
 say as much for my other parent, hut before monarcliical 
 institiitioiia momma \veakeiie(h She had moments of 
 terribk^ indecision as to how to do her liair, and I am 
 certain it was not a matter of inditference to her that 
 she should make a good impression upon the head butler. 
 Also, she hesitated about examining the mounted 
 Guardsman on duty at Whitehall, preferring to walk 
 past with a casual glance, as if she were accustomed 
 to see things quite as wonderful every day at home, 
 whereas nothing to approach it has ever existed in Ameri- 
 ca, except in the imagination of Mr. Barnum, and he 
 is dead. And shopwalkers patronised her. I congratu- 
 lated mvself sometimes that I was there to assert her 
 dignity. 
 
 I must be permitted to generalise in this way about 
 our London experiences because they only lasted a day 
 and a half, and it is impossible to get many particulars 
 into that space. It was really a pity we had so little 
 time. Xothing would have been more interesting than 
 to bring momma into contact with the Poets' Corner, 
 or introduce poppa to the House of Lords, and watch the 
 effect. I am sure, from what I know of my parents, 
 that the effect would have been crisp. But we decided 
 that six weeks was not too nuich to give to the Conti- 
 nent, also that an opportunity, six weeks long, of absorb- 
 ing Europe is not likely to occur twice in the average 
 American lifetime. AVe staved over two or t iree trains 
 in London, however, just long enough to get in a back- 
 ground, as it were, for our Continental experiences. 
 
24 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 The woatlior was typical, and the background, from an 
 artistic point of view, was perfect. AVliik^ not precisely 
 opa(iue, you couldn't see tlnv^ugh it anywhere. 
 
 AVhen it became a question of how we were to put 
 in the time, it seemed to momma as if she would rather 
 lie down tlian anything. 
 
 " You and your father, dear," she said, ^' might drive 
 to St. Paul's, when it sto])s raining. Have a good look 
 at the dome and try to bring me back the sound of the 
 echo. It is said to be very weird. See that poppa doesn't 
 forget to take off his hat in the body of the church, but 
 he might ])ut it on in the Whispering Gallery, where 
 it is sure to be draughty. And remend)er that the fu- 
 neral coach of the Duke of Wellington is down in the 
 crypt, darling. You might bring me an impression of 
 that. I think I'll have a cup of chocolate and try to get 
 a little sleep." 
 
 " Is it," asked poppa, " the coach which the Duke 
 sent to represent him at the other people's funerals, or 
 the one in which he attended his own? " 
 
 " You can look that up," momma replied; " but ray 
 belief is that it was presented to the Duke by a grateful 
 nation after his demise. In which case he couldn't pos- 
 sibly have used it more than once." 
 
 I looked at momma reprovingly, but, seeing that 
 she had no suspicion of being humorous, I said nothing. 
 The Senator pushed out his under lip and pulled his 
 beard. 
 
 " I don't know about St. Paul's," he said; " wouldn't 
 
',^»W.»""< T ' 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 25 
 
 any otlicr impression do as well, nionmui? Tt doesn't 
 seem to be jnst the weather for crvpts, and I (U)n't sup- 
 pose the hearse of a iiiilitarv man is j^oin^- to make the 
 surroundings any more ciieerful. Now, my idea is that 
 when time is limited you've got to let some tilings go. 
 I'd let the historical go every time. I'd let tlie instruc- 
 tive go — we ean't drag around an idea of the British 
 Museum, for instance. I'd let ancient associations go 
 — unless you're jjarticularly interested in the parties 
 associated." 
 
 I thought of the morning I once spent picking up 
 details, traditions, and remains of Dr. Johnson in vari- 
 ous parts of the West Central district, and privately 
 sympathised with this view, though I felt com})elled to 
 look severe. Momma, who was now lying down, dis- 
 sented. AVhat, then, she demanded, had we crossed 
 the ocean for? 
 
 " liather," said she, '' where time is limited let U9 
 spread ourselves, so to speak, over the area of culture 
 available. This morning, for example, you, husband, 
 might ramble round the Tower and try to ])icture the 
 various tragedies that have been enacted there. You, 
 daughter, might go and bring us those inTjiressions from 
 St. Paul's, while I will content nivself with observin:? 
 the manners of the British chambermaid. So far, I 
 must say, I think they are lovely. Thus, each doing 
 what he can and she can, we shall take back with us, as 
 a family, more real benefit than we could possibly obtain 
 if we all derived it from the same source." 
 
26 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CV^XSOLATION. 
 
 " Xo," said ])o|)i)a Hniily. " I take oxooption to 
 your tlioory ri«;lit tlicrc, Augusta. Culture is a very 
 . haruilcss thing, and there's no reason why you shouhln't 
 take it in, till your baek gives out, every day we're 
 liere. Jiut I consider that we've got the artiele in very 
 good sha])e in our little town over there in Illinois, aud 
 personally I don't jn'opose to go nosing round after it 
 in Euro])e. And as a family man I should hate to bo 
 divided u\) for any such ])ur})ose." 
 
 '' Oil, if you're going to steel yourself against it, 
 my love " 
 
 " Now, what IJraudev said to me the dav before 
 we sailed was this — Xo, I'm not steeling myself against 
 it; my every ])ore is open to it — Brandey said: ' Your 
 time is limited, vou can't see everything. Very well. 
 See the unicjue. Keej) that in mind,' he said; 'the 
 uni(pie. And you'll be surprised to find how very 
 little there is in the world, outside Chicago, that is 
 unique.' 
 
 ^' Applying that rule," continued the Senator, stroll- 
 ing up and down, " the things to see in London are the 
 Crystal Palace and the Albert ^Memorial. Especially 
 the Albert Memorial. That was a man who played 
 second fiddle to his wife, and enjoyed it, all his life 
 long; and there he sits in ITvde Park to-day, I under- 
 stand, still receiving the respectful homage of the na- 
 tion — the only case on record." 
 
 " Westminster Abbey would be much better for 
 you," said momma. 
 
' 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 27 
 
 '* Don't you think," I put in, " that if momma is 
 to got any slccj) " 
 
 '' Certainly. Now, another thin<2: that IJranih'v saitl 
 was, ' I.ook here,' lie said, ' rcmcmhcr the Unattainable 
 Elsewhere — and oct it. You're likelv to be in London. 
 Now the Unattainable Elsewhere, for that town, is jicn- 
 tlemen's suitings. Eor style, price, and (luality of li'oods 
 the London tailor leads the known universe. Wick,' 
 he said — he was terribly in earnest — ' if you have one 
 hour in London, leave vour measure! ' " 
 
 " In that ease," said momma, sitting- up and ascer- 
 taining the condition of her hair, " you would like me 
 to be with you, love." 
 
 Xow, if momma doesn't like poppa's clothes, she 
 always gives them away without telling him. This 
 would be thought arbitrary in England, and I have 
 certainly known the Senator suddenly reduced to great 
 destitution through it, but America is a free country, 
 and there is no law to compel us to see our male relations 
 unbecomingly clad against our will. 
 
 " AVell, to tell the truth, Augusta," said poppa, " I 
 would. I'd like to get this measure through by a unani- 
 mous vote. It will save complications afterwards. But 
 are you sure you wouldn't rather lie down ? " 
 
 Momma replied to the effect that she wouldn't mind 
 
 his going* anywhere else alone, but this was important. 
 
 She put her gloves on as she spoke, and her manner 
 
 expressed that she was equal to any personal sacrifice 
 
 for the end in view. 
 8 
 
28 
 
 A VOVAGK UF CONSUL ATIOX. 
 
 *' Tl 
 
 Coluncl T»r:uiil('_v liiid ^ivcn tlic Senator a sartorial 
 address of re|)Ute, and j)reseiitly the liansoin drew np 
 lu't'ore it, in I'ieeadilly. Wc went about as a family in 
 one hansom for soeiahilitv. 
 
 '' Look iiere, (h'ivcr," said pojjpa lliron<'h tiie roof, 
 " iiave we got there ^ " 
 
 The cabman, in a dramatic and resentful manner, 
 pointed out the munber with his whip. 
 
 I'here's the address as was given to mc, sir." 
 Well, there's nothing to get mad about," said 
 poppa sternly. " I'm looking for Marcus Trippit, tailor 
 and outfitter." 
 
 " It's all right, sir. All on the brass plito on the 
 door, sir. I can see it puilickly from 'ere." 
 
 'I'he cabman seemed ajjpeased, but his tone was still 
 remonstrative. 
 
 AVe all looked at the door with the brass plate. It 
 was flanked on one side by the offices of a house agent, 
 on the other by a su])erior kxdving restaurant. 
 
 ^' There isn't the sign of a tailor about the premises," 
 said poppa, '^ except his name. I don't like the look of 
 that." 
 
 " Perhaps," suggested momma, " it's his private ad- 
 dress." 
 
 " "Well, I guess we don't want to call on Marcus, 
 especially as we've got no proper introduction. Driver, 
 that isn't Mr. Trippit's place of business. It's his 
 home." 
 
 We all craned up at the hole in the roof at once, 
 
A VUYAOK OF COXSOLATIUX. 
 
 21) 
 
 )rial 
 
 if 
 
 like voiini'' Itinls, and we all distlnctlv saw \\iv ilriwr 
 smile. 
 
 *' So, sir, I don't lliiid< 'cM put it uj) like that that 
 V was a t; Icr, imt ow 'is privit residence, sir. 1 think 
 you'll find the business i)reniises on the fust or seeond 
 floor, likely." 
 
 "Where's his window^" the Senator <lenianded. 
 " Where's his display^ No, I don't think Marcus will 
 do for me. I'm not confidin*^' eiionj;h. Now, you don't 
 liappen to be able to reconnnend a tailor, do you^" 
 
 " Yes, sir, 1 can take you to a ^(Mitleman that'll turn 
 vou out as 'andsome as need be. Out 'Anipstead wav, 
 
 V is." 
 
 The Senator smiled. '' Aboi ^ a three-and-six[)enny 
 fare, eh? " he said. 
 
 '' Yes, sir, all of that." 
 
 " I thouii'ht so. I don't mind the three and sixpence. 
 You can't do much drivinpj where T come from under a 
 dollar; but we've only got about twenty-four hours for 
 the liritisli capital altogether, and I can't spare the 
 time." 
 
 " Suppose lie drives along slowly," suggested 
 monnna. 
 
 " Just so. Drive along slowlv until vou come to 
 a tailor that has a shoji, do you see? And a good-sized 
 window, with waxwork figures in it to show off the 
 goods. Then let me hear from you again." 
 
 The man's expression changed to on(j of cheerful- 
 ness and benignity. " Right you are, sir," he said, and 
 
M 
 
 30 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 shut down tlio door in a manner that snggosted entire 
 appreciation of the circumstances. 
 
 " I think we can trust him," said poppa. Inside, 
 therefore, we gave ourselves up to enjoyment of what 
 momma called the varied panorama around us; while, 
 outside, the cabman passed in critical review half the 
 gentleman's outfitters in London. It was momma who 
 finally brought him to a halt, and the establishment 
 which inspired her with confidence and emulation was 
 inscribed in neat, white enamelled letters, Court Tailors. 
 
 As we entered, a person of serious appearance came 
 forward from the rear, by no means eagerly or inquir- 
 ingly, but with a grave step and a great deal of deport- 
 ment. I fancy he looked at momma and me with slight 
 surprise; then, with his hands calmly folded and his 
 head a little on one side, he gave his attention to the 
 Senator. But it was momma who broke the silence. 
 
 " We wish," said momma, '' to look at gentlemen's 
 suitings." 
 
 ** Yes, madam, certainly. Is it for — for — : — " He 
 hesitated in the embarrassed way only affected in the 
 very best class of establishments, and I felt at ease at 
 once as to the probable result. 
 
 ^' For this gentleman," said momma, \vitli a wave 
 of her hand. 
 
 The Senator, being indicated, acknowledged it. 
 " Yes," he said, " I'm your subject. But there's just 
 one thing I want to say. I haven't got any use for a 
 Court suit, because where I live we haven't got any use 
 
twr' 1" ■ -■•■^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 31 
 
 \ 
 
 
 for Courts. My idea would be something aristocratic in 
 quality but democratic in cut — the sort of thing you 
 would make up for a member of Mr. Gladstone's family. 
 Do I make myself clear? " 
 
 '" Certainly, sir. Ordinary morning dress, sir, or is 
 it evening dress, or both? AVill you kindly step this 
 
 way, sir? 
 
 I") 
 
 *' We will all step this way," said momma. 
 
 *' It would be a morning coat and waistcoat then, 
 sir, would it not? And trousers of a different — some- 
 what lighter " 
 
 '' Well, no," the Senator replied. " Something I 
 coLild wear around pretty much all day." 
 
 My calm regard forbade the gentleman's outfitter to 
 smile, even in the back of his head. 
 
 " I think I understand, sir. Xow, here is something 
 that is being a good deal worn just now. Beautiful 
 finish." 
 
 *' Xothing irowv? ish, thank you," said momma, with 
 decision. 
 
 '' Xo, madam? Then perhaps you would prefer this, 
 sir. More on the iron gray, sir." 
 
 ^' That would certainly be more becoming," said 
 momma. ''And I like that invisible line. But it's 
 rather too woolly. I'm afraid it wouldn't keep its ap- 
 pearance. AVhat do you think, .Mamie? " 
 
 " Oh, there's no it'oo/liness, madam." The gentle- 
 man's outfitter's tone implied that wool was the last 
 thing he would care to have anything to do with. " It's 
 
32 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 tlio nap. And as to the apprarancc of these goods " — 
 lie smiled slightly — '' well, we put our reputation on 
 them, that's all. 1 can't sav more than that. But I 
 have the same thing in a smooth finish, if you would 
 prefer it." 
 
 " I think I would prefer it. Wouldn't you, ^Famie? " 
 
 The man brought the same thing in a smooth finish, 
 and looked interrogatively at ])oppa. 
 
 " Oh, I prefer it, too," said he, with a profound as- 
 sumption of intelligent interest. " Were you thinking 
 of having the pants made of the same material, Au- 
 gusta? " 
 
 The gentleman's outfitter suddenly turned hib back, 
 and stood thus for an instant struggling with something 
 like a spasm. Knowing that if there's one thing in the 
 world monuna hates it's the exhibition of poppa's sense 
 of humour, I walked to the door. AVlien I came back 
 they were measuring the Senator. 
 
 " AVill vou have the American shoulder, sir? Most 
 of our customers prefer it." 
 
 " Well, no. The English shoulder would be more 
 of a novelty on me. You sec I come from the United 
 States myself." 
 
 "Do vou indeed, sir?" 
 
 The manners of some tailors might be emulated in 
 England. 
 
 " Tails are a little longer than the}'' were, sir, and 
 waistcoats cut a trifle higher. Xot more than half an 
 inch in both cases, sir, but it does make a difference. 
 
'1>*U!W>»I -(»'H)(IjlP»"«V«!""t|V»^l" 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 33 
 
 Xow, with reference to the coat, sir; will you have it 
 finished with braid or not^ Silk braid, of course, sir." 
 
 " Augusta ^ " deuiaiided the Senator. 
 
 " Is braid de nouvcau? " asked niomnia. 
 
 " Xot precisely, madam, but the Prince certainly has 
 worn it this season while he didn't last." 
 
 " Do you refer to Wales? " asked poppa. 
 
 " Yes, sir. He's very generally mentioned simply 
 as ' The Prince.' His Royal Highness is very con- 
 servative, so to speak, about such things, so when he 
 takes up a style we generally count on its lasting at least 
 through one season. I can assure you, sir, the Prince 
 has appeared in braid. You needn't be afraid to order 
 it." 
 
 " I think," put in momma, " that braid would make 
 a verv neat finish, love." 
 
 Poppa walked slowly towards the door, considering 
 the matter. With his hand on the knob he turned round. 
 
 " Xo," he said, '' I don't think that's reason enough 
 for me. We're both men in public positions, but I've 
 got nothing in common with Wales. I'll have a plain 
 hem." 
 
■'"■-;-'tr — 'r.; ; "y — -•T"*'"*:': 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 " If there's one thing I hate," said Senator "Wick 
 several times in the discussion of our plans, " it's to see 
 a citizen of the United States going round advertising 
 himself. If you analyse it, it's a mean thing to do, for 
 it's no more a virtue to be born American than a fault 
 to be born anything else. I'm proud of my nationality 
 and my income is a source of satisfaction to me, but I 
 don't intend to brandish either of them in the face of 
 Europe." 
 
 It was this principle that had induced poppa to buy 
 tourist tickets second clas? by rail, first class by steamer, 
 all through, like ordinary English people on eight or 
 nine hundred a year. Momma and I thought it rather 
 noble of him and resolved to live up to it if possible, 
 but when he brought forth a large packet of hotel 
 coupons, guaranteed to produce everything, including 
 the deepest respect of the proprietors, at ten shillings 
 and sixpence a day apiece, we thought he was making 
 an unnecessary sacrifice to the feelings of the non- 
 American travelling public. 
 
 " Two dollars and a half a day! " momma ejaculated. 
 
 " Were there no more expensive ones? " 
 
 34 
 
 _Li 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 35 
 
 " If there had heen," poi)[)a confessed, '' I woidd 
 have taken them. But these were the best they had. 
 And I understand it's a popular, sensible way of travel- 
 ling. I told the young man that the one thing we wished 
 to avoid was ostentation, and he said that these coupons 
 would be a complete protection." 
 
 " There must be some way of paying more," said 
 momma pathetically, looking at the paper books of 
 tickets, held together by a quantity of little holes. " Do 
 they actually include everything^" 
 
 ^' Even wine, I understand, where it is the custom 
 of the hotel to provide it without extra charge, and in 
 Switzerland honev with vour breakfast," the Senator 
 responded firmly. " I never made a UKjre interesting 
 purchase. There before us lie our beds, breakfasts, 
 luncheons, dinners, lights, and attendance for the next 
 six weeks." 
 
 ^' It is full of the most dramatic possibilities," I 
 remarked, looking at the packet. 
 
 " It seems to me a kind of attempt to coerce Provi- 
 dence," said momma, " as much as to say, ' AVhatever 
 happens to the world, T am determined to have my bed, 
 breakfast, luncheon, dinner, lights, and attendance for 
 six weeks to come.' Is it not presumptuous?" 
 
 " It's very reasonable," said the Senator, " and that's 
 the principal thing you've got against it, Augusta. It's 
 remarkably, pictorially cheap." The Senator put the 
 little books in their detachable cover, snapped the elastic 
 round them and restored the whole to his inside pocket. 
 
36 
 
 A VOYAOE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " You uiiijlit almost siiy cnjovably clioa}), if you know 
 what I iiicnu. The inoxpeiisivonoss of Europe," lie 
 continncd, '' is g'oiiif^ to be a great cliariu for me. I 
 intend to revel in it." 
 
 I am always diseovering ])()ints about poppa the 
 existenee of which I liad not suspected. Ilis apprecia- 
 tion of the joy of small prices had been concealed in him 
 up to this date, and I congratulated him warmly upon 
 its appearance. I believe it is inherent in primitive 
 tribes and in all Englishmen, but protective tariffs and 
 other intluences are rapidly eradicating it in Americans, 
 who should be condoled with on this point, more than 
 tliev usually are. 
 
 V t-' 
 
 We were on our wav to Paris after a niiraculous 
 escape of the Channel. So calm it was that we had 
 almost held our breaths in our anxiety lest the wind 
 should rise before we got over. Dieppe lay behind us, 
 and momma at the window declared that she could 
 hardly believe she was looking out at !N"ormandy. 
 Monuna at the window was enjoying herself immensely 
 in the midst of Liberty silk travelling cushions, supported 
 by her smelling-bottle, and engaged apparently in the 
 realisation of long-cherished dreams. 
 
 " There tliev are in a row! " she exclaimed. " How 
 lovely to see them standing up in that stiff, unnatural 
 way just as they do in the pictures." 
 
 Poppa and I rushed raptly to the window, but dis- 
 covered nothing remarkable. 
 
 " To see what, Augusta? " demanded he. 
 
Momma \va> enjoying lierself. 
 
i i 
 
 h 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 37 
 
 " The Xoriuaiidy poplars, love. Aren't you awfully 
 disappointed in tliemlf I am. So wooden! " 
 
 Poppa said he didn't know that he ha<l Keen relying 
 nuK'h on the poplar feature of tiic^ scenery, and returned 
 to his weary search for Anierii-an telegrams in a London 
 daily ])aper. 
 
 " Dear me," momma ejaculated, '" I never supposed 
 I should see them doing it! And right along the line 
 of the railway, too! " 
 
 '' See them doing it! " I repeated, searching the land- 
 scape. 
 
 " The women working in the fields, darling love. 
 Garnering the grain, all in that nice mo(hM'ate shade of 
 blue-electric, shouldn't you call it? There — there's an- 
 other! Xo, you can't see her now. France is fascinut- 
 ing!" 
 
 Poppa abruptly folded the newspajier. " I've learnt 
 a great deal more than I wanted to know about ^^lada- 
 gascar," said he, " and I understand that there's a likeli- 
 hood of the London voter being called to arms to pre- 
 vent High Church trustees introducing candles and in- 
 cense into the opening exercises of the public schools. 
 I've read eleven different accounts of a battle in Korea, 
 and an article on the fauna and flora of Bcduchistan, 
 very well written. And I see it's stated, on good author- 
 ity, that the Queen drove out yesterday accompanied by 
 the Princess Beatrice. I don't know that I ever got 
 more information for two cents in my life. But for 
 news — Great Scott! I I'noiv more news than there is 
 
 n 
 
i 
 
 38 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 in that paper! Tlic editor ouglit to he invited to come 
 over and discover America.'' 
 
 " Here's something ahoiit America," I protested, 
 ^' from Cliicago, too. A wliole colnmn — ' ^Movements 
 of Cereals.' " 
 
 " Yes, and look at that for a nice attractive head- 
 line," res])onde(l the Senator with sarcasm. " ' ^love- 
 ments of Cereals! ' (Jives you a great idea of pace, 
 doesn't it^ Whv couldn't thev have called it ' (Jrain on 
 the Go T' 
 
 "■ J)i<l Air. AlcConnell get in for Masor, or Jimmy 
 Fagan? " 1 in(|uired, looking down the cohunn. 
 
 '' Thev don't seem to have asked anyhodv." 
 
 '' And who got the Post OfMce^ " 
 
 '' Xot there, not there, my child ! " 
 
 "Oh!" said monuna at the window, "these little 
 grav-stone villages are too sweet for words. AVhv talk 
 of Chicago? Mr. McConnell and Mr. Fagan are all very 
 well at home, but now that the ocean heaves between us, 
 and your political campaign is over, may we not for- 
 get them? " 
 
 " Forget Mike McConnell and Jimmy Fagan! " re- 
 plied the Senator, regarding a passing church spire with 
 an absent smile. "Well, no, Augusta; as far as I'm 
 concerned I'm afraid it couldn't be done — at all perma- 
 nently. There's too nmcli involved. But I see what 
 you mean about turning the mind out to pasture when 
 the grazing is interesting — getting in a cud, so to speak, 
 for reflection afterwards. I see vour idea." 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 30 
 
 Tlio Senator is jilwjiys Imsincss-Iike. lie iniincdi- 
 atoly a<l<ln'ss('(l liiinsclf tliroujili the otiicr window to 
 the appreciation of tlie scenerv, and I f(dt, as I took out 
 my note-hook to reeord one «»r two inipres«ions, that he 
 wouM (h> it jnstice. 
 
 *' No, nionmia," F was inunediatoly eonipelled to cx- 
 (daini, " von ninstn't look over mv shonhh'r. It is 
 paralysing to the inia<;ination." 
 
 " Then I won't, dear. J hit oli, if yon eould only 
 deseribe it as it is! The mined ehateanx, tree-em- 
 bosomed " ^1 omnia paused. 
 
 '' The gray ehnrch spires, from which at eventide 
 the Angehis eomes pealing — or stealing," she continued. 
 " Perhaps ' stealing ' is better. 
 
 " Above all the poplars — the ])oj)lars are very char- 
 acteristic, dear. And the women toilers in the sunset 
 fields garnering up the golden grain. You might ex- 
 claim, ' Why are they always in blue? ' Have you got 
 that down ? " 
 
 " They were making bay," pojipa corrected. " But 
 I suppose the public won't know the difference, any 
 more than you did." 
 
 ]\ronuna leaned forward, clasping her smelling-bottle, 
 and looked out of the window with a smile of exalta- 
 tion. 
 
 " The cows," she went on, " the proud-legged Xor- 
 man cows standing knee-deep in the quiet pools. Have 
 you got the cows down, dear? " 
 
 The Senator, at the other window, looked across dls- 
 
40 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I I 
 
 para^iiiiilv, lianl at work on liis Ix'anl. lie sai<l notli- 
 iii^', hut al'fcr a time aliniptly tlirust his liands in his 
 I)<)ci<('ts, and liis feet out in front of him in a manner 
 whicli ex))resse(l al)solute dissent. Wlien inonmia said 
 slie thouj^ht she would try U) ^ct a littU> sU'ep he htoked 
 round ol)servantIy, and as soon as her slundu-r was sound 
 and ('omfortal)h' he beekoiied to me. 
 
 *' Sec here," he said, not unkindly, arn'umentatively. 
 " About those eows. In fact, about all these ])ointers 
 your mother's been giving you. They're all very nice 
 and poetic — I don't want to run down momma's ideas — 
 but thev don't strike me as original. I won't sav I could 
 put my iinger on it, but I'm jierfectly certain I've heard 
 of the ])oplars and the women held lal)ourers of Xor- 
 mandy somewhere befori'. She doesn't do it on pur- 
 pose " — the Senator incdined his head with de{)recation 
 toward the slee])ing form o})posite, and lowered his voice 
 — " and I don't know that I'd mention it to vou under 
 any other circumstances, i)ut momma's a fearful pla- 
 giarist. She doesn't hesitate anywhere. I've known 
 her do it to AVilliam Shakes])eare and the Book of Job, 
 let alone modern jiuthors. In dealing with her sugges- 
 tions you want to be very careful. Otherwise momma'll 
 get yon into trouble." 
 
 I nodded with affectionate consideration. " I'll 
 make a note of what you say. Senator," I replied, and 
 inmiediately, from motives of delicacy, we changed the 
 subject. As we talked, poppa told me in confidence how. 
 much he expected of the democratic idea in Paris. He 
 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 41 
 
 said tliiit even tlic sliort time we had spent in Kti^laiid 
 wjis ciioii^li to ciialili' liiiii to dctfct tlic sidiscrvicncv 
 of the lower chisses there and t(» rcMiit it, as a man and 
 a brother, lie spoixc sadiv and soniewiiat iiitterlv of the 
 manners of tiie i)rother man wiio shaved Jnin, widcii he 
 fonnd nnjustitiahly aiVahie, and (d' the ine\('nsai>h' ai>:ise- 
 ment of a Ih'itisii railwav |)ort<'r if von ^ave iiiin a shil- 
 ling. Jle said he was <;Iji(l to h'ave Kn^land, it was de- 
 moralising' to live there; von lost your sense of the dig- 
 nity of lahonr, and in the eonrse of time son were almost 
 bound to de<i('nerate into a sw(dl. He ex|)ressed a ^ood 
 deal of svmpathv with the aristocracy on this account, 
 
 fit I / 
 
 concentrating' his indiiination nj)on tho>e who, as it were, 
 made aristocrats oi innocent hnman hein^-s a<;'ainst their 
 will. It was more than he would have ventured to sav 
 in ])ul)lic, bnt in talkinn' to me j)o])|)a often mentions 
 what a comfort it is to he his own mouthj)iece. 
 
 '' The best tliin<^' about these tourists' tickets is," said 
 the Senator as we approached l*aris, " that they entitle 
 you to the use of an interju'eter. He is said to be found 
 on all station platforms of imixtrtance, and I presume 
 he's standinji' there waitiui*' for us now. I take it we're 
 at liberty to tap his knowledire of the lanti'ua<j,e in any 
 moment of difKculty just as if it were (mv own." 
 
 Ten minutes later the carriage doors were openin<^ 
 upon Paris, and the Senator's eaiile eye was searching 
 the crowded platform for this ofHcial. Onr vague idea 
 was that the interpreter would be a conspicuous and 
 permanent object like a nickle-in-the-slot machine, auto- 
 
I 
 
 42 ' A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 matically arranged to "»pon liis arms to tourists pre- 
 senting the riglit tickets, and emit conversation. When 
 we finally detected him, by his cap, he was shifting im- 
 easily in the midst of a crowd of inquirers. His face 
 was pale, his beard pointed, his expression that of a 
 person constantly interrupted in many languages. The 
 crowd A'-as parting to permit him to escape, when we 
 filled up the available avenue and confronted him. 
 
 " Are you the linguist that goes with our tickets? " 
 asked the Senator. 
 
 " I am ze interpretare yes, but weez ze tickets I go 
 not, no. All-ways I stay here in zis place, nowheres I 
 go." lie stood at bay, so to speak, frowning fiercely 
 as he replied, and then made another bolt for liberty, 
 but po[)pa laid a compelling hand upon his arm. 
 
 " If it's all the same to you," said poppa, firmly, 
 *^ I've got ladies with me, and " 
 
 " Yes certainly you get presently your tronks. You 
 see zat door beside many people? Immediately it open 
 you go and show ze customs man. You got no duty 
 thing, it is all riglit. You call one fiacre — carriage — 
 and go at your hotel." 
 
 " Oh," exclaimed momma, " is there any charge on 
 nerve tincture, please? It's entirely for my personal 
 use." 
 
 " It's only on cigars and eau-de-Cologne, isn't it? " 
 I entreated. 
 
 " Which door did you say?" asked the Senator. "I'd 
 be obliged if you would speak more slowly. There's 
 
 ^ 
 
■ WilH-" ^11 MUPII*. 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 43 
 
 no cause for excitement. From here I can see fourteen 
 doors, and I saw our luggage go in by this door." 
 
 " You don't believe wat I say! Very wvUl AH zc 
 same it is zat door beside all ze people wat want zero 
 troilks! " 
 
 " All right," said tlie Senator pacifically. " How 
 you do boil over! I tell you one thing, my friend," 
 he added, as the interpreter washed his hands of us, "you 
 may be a necessity to the travelling public, but you're 
 not a luxury, in any sense of the word.'^ 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 1 1 
 
 I i 
 
 The Senator, discovering to liis surprise that tlic 
 hotel clerk was a lady, lifted his hat. He did not ap- 
 pear to be snrprised, that wasn't the Senator's way, 
 bnt he forgot what he had to say, which proved it. 
 While he was hesitating she looked at him humorously 
 and said " Good evening, sir! " She was a florid person 
 who wore this sense of humour between hard blue eyes 
 and an iron jaw. Momma took a passionate dislike to 
 her on the spot. 
 
 " Oh, then you do," said poppa. " You parlay 
 Anglay. That's a good thing I'm sure, for I know 
 mighty little Fransay. May I ask what sort of accom- 
 modation you can give Mrs. Wick, Miss Wick, and my- 
 self for to-night? Anything on the first floor? '' 
 
 '' AVhat rooms you require are one double one single, 
 
 yes? Certainly. Francois, trente-cinq et trente-huit.'' 
 
 She handed Francois the keys and her sense of humour 
 
 disappeared in a smile which told poppa that he might, 
 
 if he liked, consider her a fine woman. lie, wishing 
 
 doubtless to bask in it to the fullest extent, produced his 
 
 book of tickets. 
 
 ^' I expect you've seen these before," he said, ap- 
 
 44 
 
 
it. 
 
 ap- 
 
1 
 
 ri 
 
 " 1 expect you've seen tlicse before. 
 
fwmmsw " 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 45 
 
 parciitly for the pleasure of contimiing the eonversu- 
 tion. 
 
 As lier eve fell upon them a l(»ok of startled cvnici.-iii 
 suddenly replaced the smile. Her eynieism was para- 
 doxical, she was so large, and sound and \v1k' some, and 
 the more irritating on this account. 
 
 '' You 'ave the coupons! " she exclaimed. " Ah-a- 
 ah ! " in a crescendo of astonishment at our du])licity. 
 " Then I 'ave made one mistake. Francois! Those lirst 
 floor rooms they are already taken. IJut on the third 
 floor are two good beautiful rooms. IMiere is also the 
 lift — vou can use the lift." 
 
 I. 
 
 '' I can't dispute with a hidy," said ])o]ipa, " but 
 that is singular. I should prefer those first floor rooms 
 which wro not taken until 1 mentioned the coupons." 
 
 "Sare!" 
 
 The lady's eye was unflinching, and poppa <]uailed. 
 He looked ashamed, as if he had been caught in telling 
 a story. They made a picture, as he stood there pulling 
 his beard, of American chivalry and Gallic guile, which 
 was almost jiathetic. 
 
 " AVell," said he, '' as it's necessary that ^Irs. AVick 
 should lie down as soon as possible you might show us 
 those third floor rooms." 
 
 Then he recovered his diaiiitv and alanced at ^la- 
 dame more in sorrow than in anger. '' Certainly, sare," 
 she said severely. " Will vou use the lift i For the lift 
 there is no sharge." 
 
 " That," said the Senator, '^ is real liberal." In mo- 
 
 i^< 
 
46 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION". 
 
 nients of oiiiotion jjoppa often dropped into an Ameri- 
 canism. " Jf it's a serious offer 1 think we irill use the 
 lift." 
 
 At a nod from ]\[adame, Francois went away to seek 
 the man belonging to the lift, and after a time returned 
 with him. The lady produced another key, with which 
 the man belonging to the lift unlocked the door of the 
 brass cage which guarded it. 
 
 " You must find strangers very dishonest, madam," 
 said the Senator courteously as we stepped inside, '" to 
 render such a precaution necessary." 
 
 But before we arrived at the third floor we were 
 convinced that it was unnecessarv. It was not an ele- 
 vator that the most burglarious would have cared to take 
 away. 
 
 So manv Americans surrounded the breakfast table 
 next morning that we might almost have imagined our- 
 selves in Chicago. A small, young priest with furtive 
 brown eves cowered at one of the side tables, and at an- 
 other a broad-shouldered, unsmiling lady, dressed in 
 black, with brows and a sliglit moustache to nuitch, dis- 
 pensed food to a sallow and shrinking object of preter- 
 naturally serious aspect who seemed to be her husband, 
 and a little boy who kept an anxious eye on them both. 
 They were French, too, but all the people who sat up and 
 down the long middle table belonged to the United 
 States of America. They were there in groups and in 
 families representing different localities and different 
 social positions — as momma said, you had only to look 
 
A VOYAGE OF COXSOLATIOX. 
 
 47 
 
 at tlioir shouMor soanis; and oacli group or family re- 
 ceived the advances of the next with the j)<>Hte toler- 
 ance, head a little on one side, which characteris(>s lis 
 when we don't know each other's hiisiness standing or 
 church ineinbership; hut the tide of conversation which 
 ebbed and flowed had a ilavoiir which made the table a 
 geographical unit. 1 say " flavour," because there was 
 certainly something, but I am now incdined to think with 
 Mr. Page that " accent " is rather too stnmg a word 
 to describe it. At all events, the gratification of hear- 
 ing it after his temporary exile in Great Britain almost 
 brought tears to the Senator's eyes. Tiiere were only 
 three vacant places, and, as we took them, making the 
 national circle complete, a little smile wavered round 
 the table. It was a proud, conscious smile; it indicated 
 that though we might not be on terms of intimacy we 
 recognised ourselves to be immensely and uniformly 
 American, and considerably the biggest fraction of the 
 travelling public. As poppa said, the i)revailing feeling 
 was also American, As he was tucking his napkin into 
 his waistcoat, and ordering our various breakfasts, the 
 gentleman who sat next to him listened — he could not 
 help it — fidgetted, and finally, with some embarrass- 
 ment, sj)oke. 
 
 '^ I don't know, sir," he said, '* whether you're aware 
 of it — I i)resume you're a stranger, like myself — but all 
 thev allow for what thev call breakfast in this hotel is 
 tea or coffee, rolls, and butter; everything else is charged 
 
 extra. 
 
 )> 
 
■■ Wi I " 
 
 48 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Po|)l>ii wns toiiclicd. As he said to me aftcrwai'd, 
 who hut an Aiiicricaii would have taken tlie tronhlo 
 to tell a stranger a tliinji," hke tliat! Not an EngHsh- 
 nian, certainly — he would see you hankrupt first! lie 
 disguised liis own sojihistieation, and said lie was very 
 imieh ohhged, and he almost apologised for not heing 
 ahle to take advantage of the information, and stick to 
 coffee and rolls. 
 
 " But the fact is," he said in self-defence, " we may 
 get hack for lunch and we may not." 
 
 " That's all right," the gentleman replied with dis- 
 tinct relief. " I didn't mind the omelette or the sole, 
 but when it came to fried chicken and strawberries I 
 jnst had to speak out. You going to make a long stay 
 in Parish' 
 
 As they launched to conversation momma and I 
 glanced at each other with mutual congratuhition. It 
 was at last obvious that the Senator was going to enjoy 
 his European experiences; we had been a little doubt- 
 ful about it. Left to ourselves, we discussed our break- 
 fast and the waiters, the only French people we could 
 see from where we sat, and expressed our annoyance, 
 which was great, at being offered tooth-picks, I was so 
 hungry that it was only when I asked for a third large 
 roll that T noticed momma regarding me with mild dis- 
 approval. 
 
 " l fear," slie said with a little sigh, " that you arc 
 thinking very little of what is past and gone, love." 
 
 " Momma," I replied, '" don't spoil my breakfast." 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 49 
 
 AVlicn nioniiiui can throw an emotional chill over any- 
 thing, 1 never knew her to refrain. *' 1 should like that 
 (jCDXon to bring nie some more bread," 1 eontinneil. 
 
 !Monnna sighed even more deeply. '* You may have 
 part of mine," she replied, breaking it with a gesture 
 that said such callousness she could not understand. 
 Her manner for the next few minutes ex[)ressed dis- 
 tinctly that she, at least, meant to do her duty by 
 Arthur. 
 
 Presently from the other side of })oppa came the 
 words, " JVo/ AVick of Chicago! " 
 
 " I guess I can't deny it," said poppa. 
 
 "Senator Wick^' 
 
 Poppa lowered his voice. " If it's all the same to 
 you," he said, " not for the i)resent. Just plain Joshua 
 P. AVick. I'm not what vou call travelling incognito, 
 do you se(>, but, so far as the U. S. Senate is concerned, 
 I haven't got it with me." 
 
 " Well, sir, 1 won't uicntion it again. Hut all the 
 same, if I may be allowed to say so, I am pleased to 
 meet you, sir — very phrased. I su|)pose they wired you 
 that Mike ^McConnell's got the Post Ollice." 
 
 Poppa held out his hand in an instant of speechless 
 gratitude. " Sir," he said, " they did not. Put it there. 
 I said no wires and no letters, and I've been sorry for 
 it ever since. ^Fomma," he continued, *' daughter, allow 
 me to present to you Mr. ^ — ^Ir. Malt, who has heard 
 by cablegram that our friend Mr. ^IcConnell is Post- 
 master-General of Chicago." 
 
■(qm^ww" ■*•" 
 
 50 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ^roninia was fjrntcful, tr)o, tliougli slio oxprosscd it 
 somewhat more distantly. Momiiia has a great deal <»f 
 iiianner witii strangers; it sometimes completely dis- 
 guises her real feeling toward them. 1 was also grateful, 
 though 1 mendy bowed, and kicked the Senator mider 
 tlie table. Xobody would have guessed from our out- 
 ward bearing the extent to which our jujlitical fortunes, 
 as a family, were mixed u}» with Mike McConnell's. Mr. 
 Alalt immediately said that if there was anything else 
 he coidd do for us he was at our service. 
 
 " AVell," said poppa, " I suppose there's a good deal 
 of intrinsic interest in this town — relics of Napoleon, 
 the lion -Marche, and so on — and we've got to see it. 
 I must say," he added, turning to momma, "" I feel con- 
 siderably more ecpud to it now." 
 
 '' It will take you a good long week," said Mr. Malt 
 earnestly, " to begin to have an idea of it. You might 
 spend two whole days in the Louvre itself. Is your time 
 limited r' 
 
 '" I don't need to tell anv American the market value 
 of it," said poi)pa snuling. 
 
 '' Then you can't do better than go straight to the 
 Louvre. I'd be pleased to accompany you, only I've got 
 to go round and see our Ambassador — I've got a little 
 business with him. I daresav vou know that one of our 
 man-of-war ships is lying right down here in the Seine 
 river. AVell, the captain is giving a reception to-morrow 
 in honour of the Kussian Admiral who happens to be 
 there, too. I've got ladies with me and I wrote for four 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 51 
 
 tickets. Did I ^ct tlir four tickets — or two of tiiem — 
 or oiie^ No, sir, I i-ot a letter in the third person sin- 
 gular saying it wasn't a })ul)lic entertainjuent ! I wrote 
 back to say I guessed it was an American entertainment, 
 and he could ex[)ect me, all the same, lie hadn't any 
 sort of excuse — my name and business address were on 
 my letter paper. Xow I'm just going round to see what 
 a United States Aml)assad(jr's for, in this connection.'' 
 
 ^Ir. ^Malt rose and the waiter withdrew his chair. 
 *^ Thank you, (juixon,^^ said he. " I'm coming hack 
 again — do you understands This is not my last meal," 
 and the waiter bowed as if that were a statement which 
 had to be acknowh'dged, l)ut was of the least i)ossiblo 
 eonse(pience to him personally. " Well, Mr. Wick,'^ 
 continued Mr. Malt, brushing th(» crumbs from his waist- 
 coat. " I'll sav ffood mornin<>\ and to vour ladies also. 
 I'm very [)leased to have met you." 
 
 " AVell," said monnna, as he disappeared, " if every 
 American in Paris lias decided to go to that reception 
 there won't be much room for the Russians." 
 
 " I suppose he's a voter and a tax-payer, and he's 
 got his feelings," replied ])oppa. The Senator would de- 
 fend a voter and a tax-])ayer against any imputation not 
 actually criminal. 
 
 '" I'm glad I'm not one of his lady-friends," momma 
 continned. " I don't think I cuuld make myself at home 
 on that man-of-war under the circumstances. I>ut I 
 daresay he'll drag them there with him. lie seems to 
 be just that kind of a man." 
 
■mnaa 
 
 62 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " He's a very patriotic kind of a man," rep' vd 'tlic 
 Senator. " It's liis j)atriotisni, don't you see, tliat's giv- 
 ing liini all tliirt trouldc. It's licen outraged. Personally 
 J eonsider Mr. Malt a very intcdligent gentleman, and 
 if he'd given me an o|)ening as big as the eye of a needle 
 I'm tlie camel that would have gone with him, Augusta. '* 
 
 This statement of the Senator'a struck me as some- 
 tliing to he acted upon. If there was to he u constant 
 possihility of his going off with any chance American 
 in regular connnunication with the Fnited States, our 
 European tour would he a good deal less interesting 
 than 1 had been led to expect. AVhile momnui was get- 
 ting ready for the Louvre, therefore, I stej)})ed down to 
 the office and wired our itinerary to his jiartner in Chi- 
 cago. " Kee}) up daily communication hy wire in de- 
 tail," I telegraj)hed, " forward copies all important let- 
 ters care Peters." iV'ters was the tourist au'ent who had 
 undertaken to hless our comings and goings. T said 
 nothing whatever to p(>ppa, hut T fcdt a glow of con- 
 scious triuni|)h when I thought of Mr. ^lalt. 
 
 We stood and realised Paris on the ])avement while 
 the fiacre turncMl in from the road and drew up for us. 
 I had (>verv int(Mition of heiug fascimited and so had 
 mouiuia. We luid both heard often and often that good 
 Americans wlien they die go to Paris, and that prepares 
 one for a good deal in this life. AVe were so anxious 
 to he pleased that we fastened with one accord u])on 
 the florist's shop under the hotel aud said that it was 
 uni(j[U(dy charming, though we both knew places in 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 53 
 
 lirondway tliat it L-uiiMn't be compare*! with. We lo«fl<»(l 
 ainial)Iy at tlic pas.scrs-ljv, ami did our best to dctoct m 
 tlic iiianncr of their faces tiiat esprit tliat iiiatces tlie «lia- 
 h)gue of I'Veiicli novels so stiiniihitiiig. What I usually 
 thought 1 saw when they looked at ns was a leisurely 
 inditferentisni ornamented with \\iv suspicion of a sneer, 
 and hased upon a certain fundamental actpiisitivenes; 
 and ahilitv to make a valuation that acknowle(ln('(l tlu, 
 desirahility of our presence on business grounds, if not 
 on j)ersonal ones. It seemed to be a j)roc(nicerted public 
 intention to make as much noise in a given space as 
 possible — we sj)oke of the cheerfulness of it, stoj)j)ing 
 our oars. The cracking of the drivers' whips alone made 
 a feu tie joir that never ceased, and listening to it we 
 knew that wo ought to feel haj)py and elato(L Tlic 
 driver of our fiacre was fat and rubicund, he wore a 
 green coat, brass Ituttons, and a shiny top hat, and looked 
 as if he drank constantly. His jollity was perfunctory, 
 I know, and covered a gras|)ing nature, but it was very 
 well imitated, like ovorything in Paris. As he whirled 
 lis, with a whii)-re])ort like a pistol-shot, into the train 
 of traffic in the middle of the street, we felt that wo 
 were indeed in the city of aj)pearances; and I ]m\ down 
 in my mind, not having my note-book, that Paris lives 
 up to its photographs. 
 
 " AVe mustn't forget our serions object, dear,'' said 
 nionnna, as wo rollcMl over the co])l)le-;tonos — '" our liter- 
 ary object. AVhat sludl we note this nionnng? Tho 
 broad streets, the elegant shops — do look at tliat one! 
 
^■"lU»"»«|ilB»»"'li»<7»"l|lHl> I 
 
 54 A VOYACxE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Darliiip:, is it absolutely necessary to go to the Louvre 
 this morning^ There are some things we really 
 need." 
 
 ]\lonnna addressed the Senator. 1 mentioned to her 
 once that her way of doing it was almos' English in its 
 demonstrativeness, and my other jjarent told me pri- 
 vately he wished I hadn't — it aggravated it so. 
 
 " Augusta," said poppa, lirmly, " I understand your 
 feeling. I take a human interest in those stores myself, 
 wliich I do not expect this picture galh^ry, etc., to inspire 
 in UK-. Jhit there the JA)Uvre is, you see, and it's got 
 to he done. If we s])ent our whole time in this city in 
 mere pleasure and amusement, you would be the first 
 to reproach yourself, Augusta." 
 
 A few minutes later, when we had crossed the stone 
 quadrangle and mounted the stairs, and stood with our 
 catalogue in the Salle Lacaze, momma said that she 
 wouldn't have missed it for anything. She sank ecstatic 
 npon a bench, and gave to every individual picture upon 
 the opposite wall the tribute of her intensest admira- 
 tion. It was a pleasure to see her enjoying herself so 
 much; and ]iop])a and I vainly tried to keep up to her 
 with the catalogue. 
 
 " Oh, why haven't we such things in Chicago! " she 
 exclaimed, at which the Senator checked her niildlv. 
 
 " It's a mere question of time," said he. " It isn't 
 reasonable to expect Pre-Raphaelites in a new country. 
 But give us three or four hundred years, and we'll pro- 
 duce old masters which, if vou ladies will excuse the ex- 
 
'i»w*<lii«^"™»fW!"»"w»«p5isi iji «m*fipmtm!W^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 55 
 
 prcssion, will kiiofk the s[)()ttf out of the ^liddle Ages/' 
 Poppa is sneh an optimist about Chiengo. 
 
 The Senator went on in a strain of eritieisni of the 
 jjietures perfeetly moderate and kindly — notliing ho 
 wouldn't have said to the artists themselves — until 
 momma interrupted him. " Don't you think we might 
 be silent for a time, Alexander," she said. 
 
 Momma does eall him Alexander sometimes. I 
 didn't like to mention it before, but it ean't be con- 
 cealed for ever. She savs it's because Joshua alwavs 
 costs her an effort, and everv wonnui ought to have the 
 right to name her own husband. 
 
 " Let us offer to all this genius," she continued, in- 
 dicating it, " the tribute of sealing our lips." 
 
 The Senator will always oblige. ^* ^[ine are sealed, 
 Augusta," he replied, and so we sat in silence for the 
 next ten minutes. But I could see by his expression, 
 in connection with the angle at which his hat was tipped, 
 that he was comi)aring the productions before him with 
 the future old masters of Chicago, and wishing it were 
 possible to live long enough to back Chicago. 
 
 "How they do sink in!" said momma at last. 
 " How thev sink into the soul! " 
 
 " They do," replied the Senator. " I don't deny 
 it. But I see by the catalogue, counting Salles and 
 Salons and all, there's seventeen rooms full of them. 
 If they're all to sink in, for my part I'll have to enlarge 
 the premises. And we've been here three-(|uarters of an 
 hour already, and life is short, Augusta." 
 
5G A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Ro we moved on wlicre tlio ini|K'risluil)k' faces of 
 (Jreuze and Vehis(iiiez and Iveiidjraiidt smiled and 
 frowned and wondered at lis. As poppa said, it was easy 
 to see that these peoj)le had ideas, and were simply long- 
 in<2; to express them. " You feel sorry for them,'' he 
 said, " just as you feel sorry for an intelligent terrier. 
 ]jut these poor things can't even wag their tails! Just 
 let me know when you've had enough, Augusta." 
 
 ^romma declared, with an accent of reproach, that 
 she could never have enough. I noticed, however, that 
 we did not stay in the second room as long as in the first 
 one, and that our progress was steadily accelerating. 
 Presently the Senator asked us to sit down for a few 
 nunutes while he should leave us. 
 
 *' There's a picture here l>rainley said I was to see 
 ■without fail," he ex])lained. " It's called ' ^Eona Lisa,' 
 and it's hv an artist hv the name of Leonardo da Vinci. 
 Bramley said it was a very fine painting, but I don't 
 rememher just now whether he sai<l it was wdiat you 
 might call a ])ictiire for the family or not. I'll just go 
 and ascertain," said the Senator. " Judging from some 
 of the specimens here, oil paintings in the ^liddle Ages 
 weren't intended to be chroino-lithographed." 
 
 Ill nis absence momma and I discussed French cook- 
 cry as far as we had experienced it, in detail, w^ith pro- 
 digious yawns for wdnch we did not even apologise. 
 Poppa was gone a remarkably short time and came back 
 radiant. " I've found ]\rona," he exclaimed, " and — 
 she's all right. Bramley said it was the most remark- 
 
■9m p>mq,jj I I! "t rw^^tmwT^^fWtflfir^^S^w 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 57 
 
 al)le portrait of a woman in the world — looking- at it, 
 Braniley said, you become insensil)le to everything — 
 forget all about your i)ast life and future hopes — and I 
 guess he's about right. Come and sec it." 
 
 Momma arose without enthusiasm, and I thought 
 I detected adverse criticism in advance in her expression. 
 
 " Here she is," said the Senator presently. " Xow 
 look at that! Did you ever see anvthing more intel- 
 lectual and cynical, and contemi)tuous and sweet, all in 
 one! Lookin' at vou as nuich as to sav, ' Who are voii, 
 anyhow, from way back in the State of Illinois — com- 
 mercial traveller? And what do you pretend to 
 know ? ' " 
 
 Momma regarded the portrait for a moment in calm 
 disapprobation. " I daresay she was very clever," she 
 said at length, " but if you wish to know my o|)inion 
 I don't think' much of her. And l)efore taking us to sec 
 another female portrait, ^Ir. AVick, I should be obliged 
 if you would take the precaution ol finding out who ahe 
 
 was." 
 
 After which we drove quietly home. 
 
.■ii,ni^iwi»^^rT^_f' »...4Pn,'j' "*' ■i»iiw!"««w*»»*wj"w-.iii'"V'"' ■"^"' ''^r"-"-" ■ 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 PoprA decided that we had better go to Versailles 
 by Cook's four-in-hand. There were )ther ways of 
 going, but he tlioiight we might as well take the most 
 distinguished. He was careful to explain that the mere 
 grandeur of this method of transportation had no weight 
 with him; he was compelled to submit to the ostentation 
 of it for another pur})ose which he had in view. 
 
 '' I am not a i)erson," said poppa, ^' nor is any mem- 
 ber of mv familv, to thrust mvself into aristocratic cir- 
 cles in foreign lands; but when an o])portunity like this 
 occurs for observing them without prejudice, so to speak, 
 I believe in taking it." 
 
 AVe went to the starting place early, so as to get good 
 seats, for, as momma said, the whole of the Parisian 
 elite with the President thrown in wouldn't induce her 
 to ride with her back to the horses. In that position she 
 would be incapable of observation. 
 
 The coaches were not there when we arrived, and 
 presently the Senator discovered why. He told us with 
 a slightly depressed air that they had gone round to the 
 hotels. 
 
 '' Daughter," he said to me, "J. P. Wicks docs hate 
 
 08 
 
yp>uiuik!W7«*7^M!^l"»V^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 59 
 
 to make a fool of hiinsolf, and this morniiiii' lie's done 
 it twice over. The best seats will go to the people who 
 had the sense to stay at their hotels, and the fact that 
 the eoaehes go round shows that they run for tourist 
 traffic onlv. There won't l)e a Paris aristocrat anionjjr 
 them," continued poppa gloomily, '' nary an aristocrat.'' 
 
 When they came up we saw that then* wasn't. The 
 coaches were full of tourist traffic. It was mounted on 
 the box seats very high up, where it looked conspitMiously 
 happy, and sounded a little hysterical; and it was jiacked, 
 tight and warm and anticii)ant into every available seat. 
 From its point of vantage, secured by waiting at the 
 hotel for it, the tourist traffic looked down upon the 
 Wick family on the pavement, in irritating compassion. 
 As momma said, if we hadn't taken OTir tickets it was 
 enough to have sent us to the Bon !Marche. 
 
 A man in a black frock coat and white shirt cuffs 
 came bareheaded from the office and pointed us out to 
 the interpreter, who wore brass buttons. The inter- 
 preter appeared to mention it to the guide, who wi[)ed 
 his perspiring brows under a sf)ft brown felt hat. A 
 fiacre crawled round the corner and paused to look on, 
 and the Senator said, " Xow which of you three gentle- 
 men is responsible for my ride to Versailles? " 
 
 The interpreter looked at him with a hostih* ex- 
 pression, the guide made a gesture of despair at the 
 volume of tourist traffic, and the man with the shirt 
 cuffs said, " You 'ave took your plazes on ze previous 
 day?" 
 
60 A VOYAGK OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 u 
 
 I took tlicm from you ton iiiiimtos ago," poppa 
 replied. " What a nieniory you've got! " 
 
 " /en /.are is uotliiugs guaranteed. But we will 
 send sjK'cial carriage, and l)e'ind you can follow up," 
 and he indicated the fiacre which had now drawn into 
 line. 
 
 " T don't think so," said pop])a, " when I buy four- 
 in-hand tickets 1 don't take one-in-hand acx'oninioda- 
 tion." 
 
 " You will not go in ze private carriage? " 
 
 " I will not." 
 
 " J/«/.s — it is much ze preferable." 
 
 " I don't know whv T should contradict vou," said 
 poppa, but at that moment the difficulty was solved by 
 the Misses l>ini»ham. 
 
 " (luide! " cried one of the Misses Bingham, beck- 
 oning with her fan, ^"Nous coulons a descendre! ^^ 
 
 " You want get out ? " 
 
 ^^Oni! " rei)lied the Misses Bingham with simultane- 
 ous dignity, and, as the guide merely wiped his forehead 
 again, poj)])a stepped forward. "Can I assist you?" 
 he said, and the blisses Bingham allowed themscdves to 
 be assisted. They were small ladies, dressed in black 
 pongee silk, with sloping shoulders, and they each car- 
 ried a black fan and a brocaded bag for odds and ends. 
 They were not ])lain-looking, and yet it was readily seen 
 why nobody had ever married them; they had -that look 
 of the predestined single state that you sometimes see 
 even among the very well preserved. One of them had 
 
rf^rwmrmimi ■. aiwi i wjvinvvi 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 01 
 
 an oyo-<ilsiss, ])Ut it wns easy to note vvvn wlioii slio was 
 nut wearing it that slic was a person of in<lei)en(lent in- 
 ('(•nie, of family, and of Xew York. 
 
 " We are (piitc^ willini>/' saiil tlie Misses liiiii^- 
 liani, '* to excliantic our seats in tlie coacli for yours 
 in the sjK'cial carriage, if tliat arrangement suits 
 you. 
 
 ^' ]ioh ! '" interjjosed the guide, ''and opjiosite tlierc 
 is one otiier j)lace if that fat gentleman will scjueezc him- 
 self a little— eh r' 
 
 '' Come along! " said the fat gentleman cqualdy. 
 
 '' ]>ut r eouldn't think of depriving yon ladies." 
 
 '' Sir," said one Miss Bingham, '* it is no depriva- 
 tion." 
 
 " AVe should ])refer it," added the other ^fiss Bing- 
 ham. They spoke with decision; one saw that they 
 had not reached middle age without knowing their own 
 minds all the wav. 
 
 " To tell the truth," added the Miss Bingham with- 
 out the eye-glass in a low voice, " wc don't think we can 
 stand it." 
 
 '' I don't precisely take yon, madam," said the Sena- 
 tor politely. 
 
 " I'm an American," she continued. 
 
 Pop])a bowed. '' 1 should have known you for a 
 daughter of the Stars and Stripes anywhere," he said 
 in his most eomplimentary tone. 
 
 !^riss Bingliam looked disconcerted for an instant 
 and went on. " My great grandfather was A. D. C. to 
 
 L i 
 
03 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 General Was]iiii<;t<ni. I've got that inucli reason to lie 
 loval." 
 
 " Tlierc couldn't liave been many such oflieers," the 
 Senator agreed. 
 
 *' JJut when I go abroad T don't want tlie wliole of 
 the I'nited States to come with me." 
 
 " It takes the gilt off getting back for you?" sug- 
 gested ])oj»|)a a little stilHy. 
 
 ]\Iiss IJingham failed to take the liint. ^' We find 
 Europe infested with Americans," she continued. '' It 
 disturbs one's impressions so. And the travelling Ameri- 
 can invariably Ixdongs to the v(M'v least desira))le class.'' 
 
 " ^'ow I shouldn't have thought so," said the Sena- 
 tor, with intentional humour. J hit it was lost upon 
 Miss J>ingham. 
 
 " AVell, if yon like them," said the other one, " you'd 
 better go in the coach." 
 
 The Senator lifted his liat. " Madam," he said, '^ I 
 thank you for giving to me and mine the privilege of 
 visiting a very questionable vScene of the jiast in the very 
 best society of the j^resenl." 
 
 And as the guide was pers})iring more and more im- 
 patiently, we got in. 
 
 For some moments the Senator sat in silence, reflect- 
 ing upon this sentiment, with an occasionally heaving 
 breast. Circumstances forbade his talking about it, but 
 he oast an eye full of criticism upon the fiacre rolling 
 along far in the rear, and remarked, with a fervor most 
 unusual, that he hoped they liked our dust. We cer- 
 
 _ 
 
'•■"^^■^■^Pipi 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 03 
 
 talnly made a «»r('at deal of it. Moiiinia and I, looking 
 at our fellow travellers, at once deeided that the Misses 
 liin^hain had been a little Iiasty. The fat gentleman, 
 who wore a straw hat verv far hack, and meant to enjoy 
 liiniscdf, was eertainly our lellow-eitizen. So was his 
 wife, and hrother-in-law. So were a bride and hrido- 
 grooni on the box seat — nothing- less than the best of 
 C'vervthinii' for an Anieri(.'an honevnioon — and so was a 
 solitary nuiu with a short cut bristly l)eard, a slouch 
 hat, a pink cotton shirt, and a cellul'Md coHar. l]ut there 
 was an in(k'scribable soniethin';- about all the rest that 
 l)lainly showed they had never voted for a president 
 or celebrated a Fourth of July. I was still revolving 
 it in my mind when the fat gentleman, who had l)een 
 thiid<ing of the same thing, said to his neighbour on the 
 other side, a person of serious ajjpearance in a black 
 silk hat, apropos of the line he had crossed by, " I may 
 be wrong, but I shouldn't have put you down t(j be an 
 American." 
 
 " Oh, I guess T am," replied the serious man, "' but 
 not tl e Tnited States kind." 
 
 " British Xorth," suggested the fat gentlenuan, with 
 a smile that acknowledged Her Majesty. " First cousin 
 once removed," and momma and T looked at one an- 
 other intelligently. We had nothing against Canadians, 
 except that they generally talk as if they had the whole 
 of the St. Lawrence river and Niagara Falls in a per- 
 petual lease from Providence — and we had never seen 
 so many of them together before. The coach was three- 
 
• ^ ■^•^■■••■^l^- 
 
 04 A VOYACJE OF CONSOLATIOX. 
 
 ([uartcr^^ full of these f(>r('i<j^n('rs, if the Misses r>iiii;liam 
 had only iviiown; hut as poppa afterwards said, tiiey 
 were prol)ahiy not foreij:;!! euouji,ii. It may liave Iteeu 
 iniaginatiou, i)Ut 1 iuiniediately thouf;lit I saw a certain 
 meekness, a hahit of deference — I wanted to incite them 
 all to treat the Gnelphs as we did. ilust tiien we stopped 
 hefore the church of St. Augustin, and the guide came 
 swinging ahtug the outside of the coach hoarscdy emit- 
 ting facts. Kvervhodv listened intentlv, and I noticed 
 upon the Camidian countenances the same determination 
 to he instructed that we alwavs siiow ourselves. We all 
 meant to get the nuiximum amount of information for 
 the ])rice, and I d<)n't think any of us have forgolten 
 that the site of St. Augustin is three-cornered and its 
 dome resend)les a tiara to this day. For a moment I wis 
 sorry for the Misses liingham, who were ahsorbing noth- 
 ing hut dust; but, as momma said, they looked very well 
 informed. 
 
 It must he admitted that we were a little shy with 
 the guide — we let him hully us. As poppa said, he was 
 certainly W(dl up in his subject, but that was no reason 
 why he should have treated us as if we had all come 
 
 from St. Paul or Kansas Citv. There was a condc- , 
 
 ■t 
 
 scension about him that was not explained by the state I 
 
 of his linen, and a familiarity that T had always supjjosej 
 confined exclusively to the British aristocracy among 
 themselves. lie had a red face and a blue eve, with 
 which he looked down on us \\\\\\ scarcely concealed 
 contempt, and he was marvellously agile, distributing 
 
 
A VUVACJE OF CUNSULATIUX. 05 
 
 his liiforniatluii as open street-car coiulnctors colleit 
 fares. 
 
 " Tlicv seem extreniclv carcl'iil <»t' tlicir licrl);!«!;i' in 
 this town," reiiiarkcti the serious man, and we noticeil 
 tliat it was so. Precauti()ns were lai\en in wire tliat 
 would iiave dissuaded a grassliopjiei* fmui venturing 
 on it. It ^rew very neatly inside, douhth'ss with a cer- 
 tain rJilcy hut it liad a h)ok of Ixinu- jint on for tiic occa- 
 sion that was essentially I'arisian. Also the trees p-ew 
 lip out of iron plates, which was unconifortahle, thouiili, 
 no douht, highly finished, and the llowers had a nirlirt 
 about them which ma<le one thiidc of French honnets. 
 As we rolled into the Dois it hccame evident that the 
 guide had something sjjecial to communicate. He raised 
 liis voice and eoiighed, in a manner which commanded 
 instant attention. 
 
 i " Ladies — and genelmen,'' he said — he always achled 
 
 the gentleman as if tliey were an after-thought — "you 
 are mos' fortunate, inos' locky,, 7\>/// Paris — all tlic 
 folks — are still driving their 'orse an' carriage 'ere. One 
 
 ' week more — the style will he all gone — what you say 
 
 — vamoosed? Every mother's son! An' Cook's ex- 
 cursion party won't see nothin' hut ole cahs goin' 
 along! " 
 
 " Can't we get away from them? " asked the serious 
 person. It was humorously intended — certainly a lib- 
 erty, and the guide was down on it in an instant. 
 
 " Get away from them? Xot if they know you're 
 here!" 
 
 "i 
 
 ± 
 
WIMFpa 
 
 immmm^'^iiw 
 
 GO 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION'. 
 
 At wlilcli the serious 111:111 looked still more serious, 
 and svinj)atiiy for liiiii sprjing np in every heart. 
 
 We passed J^uiij^cliaiiips at a steady trot, and the 
 guide's statement that the races there were always held 
 on Suiulay was received with a silence that evi<lently 
 disappointeil him. It was plain that he had a withering 
 rejoinder ready lor saMtatarians, and he waited anx- 
 iously, hahmced on oiu; foot, for an exj)ression of shocked 
 opinion. It was after we had ])assed .Mont Valerien, 
 frowning on the horizon, that the man in the pink cotton 
 shirt hegan to grow restive under so much instruction. 
 He told the serious j)ers<^n that his name was llinkson 
 of Iowa, and the serious j)erson was induced to re})ly 
 tliat his was I'ahhley of Simcoe, Ontario. It was insub- 
 ordination — the guide was talking ahout the shelling 
 from Mont Valerien at the time, with the most jiatriotie 
 dislocations in his grammar. 
 
 " Vou understan', you see? " he concluded. " Xow 
 those two genelnien, they di))i^ understan', and they 
 dun^ see. An' when they get back to the United Statej 
 tliev won' be able to tell their wives an' sweethearts anv- 
 thin' about ^lont Valerien! All right, genelmeu — 
 please yourselves. }fais you please remember I am 
 just like William Shekspeare — I give no repetition! ^' 
 
 It was then that the serious man demonstrated that 
 Britons, even the Xortli American kind, never, never 
 wotdd be slaves. Placing his black silk hat carefully a 
 little further back on his head, he leaned forward. 
 
 *' Xow look here, mister," he 8did, " you're as per- 
 
'•^ji^/w^^^f^m' 
 
 ■^■^ 
 
 A VUYAUE OF C'OXSOLATION. 
 
 
 boiial as a Yankee ne\vs|)ai)er. S«» far as I know, yon'ro 
 not the friend of niv cliildliood, nor the eonipanion of 
 iny later years, except for tliis trij) only, and I'd just as 
 soon yon realised it. As far as I know, you're paid to 
 jtoint «tut olijects of historical interest. Don't you trou- 
 ble to entertain us any further than that. We'll excuse 
 von I 
 
 " Ladies — an' genelnien," continued the ^-uide calm- 
 ly, " in a lil' short while we shall he approache<l to tho 
 town of St. Cloud. x\t (hat town of St. Cloud will li(> 
 one gcntdnian will take the excellen' <irouj) — foto^ralf. 
 To appear in that foto<'ratf, you will please all keep to- 
 gether with me. Afterwards, you will look at the foun- 
 tains, at the magniticent panoranui de Paris, and we go 
 on to Versailles. On the return journey, if you like that 
 fotograff you can buy, if you don't like, you don' buy. 
 An' if you got no wife an' no sweetheart all the same 
 you keep your tenii)er! " 
 
 ]iut Mr. Pabbley had settled his hat in its normal 
 j)Osition and did not intend to clear his brow for action 
 again. All might have gone well, had it not been for 
 the patriotic sensitiveness of Mr. Hinkson of Iowa. 
 
 " I think I heard you pass a remark about American 
 iiewspajjers, sir," said ^Ir Ilinkson of Iowa. '' Think 
 you've got any better in Canada^ " 
 
 ]\Ir. Pabblev smiled. There mav have been some 
 fancied superiority in the smile. 
 
 " I guess they suit us better," he said. 
 
 ^' Got any circulation figures about you?" 
 
08 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " Xot Ix'ing ail lulvcrtisiiig agent, I don't carry 
 tlioni." 
 
 " I see! " ^fr. llinkson's manner of savinii- he saw 
 elearly implied tliat there might have been other rea-ons 
 why ^Ir. Pabbley declined to produce those figures. 
 We were all listening now, and the guide had subsided 
 npon the box seat. The Senator's face wore the judicial 
 exi)ression it always assumes when he has a ditiiculty in 
 keeping himself out of the conversation. It became 
 easier than ever to separate the liepublican and the Ihit- 
 ihh elements on that coach. 
 
 "Well," said .Mr. Ilinkson, "don't yon folks get 
 pretty tired of paying Victoria taxes sometimes^ " 
 
 The Ih'itish contingent seemed to find this amusing. 
 The Americans looked as if it were no laughing matter. 
 
 " I don't believe Iler Ma jest v is nuich the richer 
 for all she gets out of us," said ^Ir. Pabbley. 
 
 " Oh, I guess you send over a pretty good lump 
 per aujuun, don't you^" 
 
 " Xot a red cent, sir," said Mr. Pabbley decisively. 
 " We run our own show." 
 
 " What about that aristocrat that rules the country 
 up at Ottawa?" 
 
 " Oh, //(' hasn't got any say! AVe get him out and 
 pay him a salary to save ourselves the trouble of elect- 
 ing a president. A presidential election's bad for busi- 
 ness, bad for politics, bad for morals." 
 
 " You seem to know. Doesn't it ever make von tir^d 
 to hear yourselves called subjects? Don't you ever vant 
 
 
J*»J*1I PUMH 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 60 
 
 
 to bo free and o(|nal, like us? Trot out the truth now — 
 tlio (ioor^o Wasliiii^tou article ! " 
 
 " Mister," said Mr. Pahl)ley, ''I Ihitter myself that 
 Canadians are a <;o()d deal like I'nited States folks al- 
 ready, and I don't mind eongratulating both our natioiia 
 on the res('nd)lan('e. lUit I'm bound to add that, while 
 1 would wish to imitate the American peo[)le in many 
 ways still further, 1 wouldn't be like you personally, 
 no, not under any circumstances nor in any resjurt.'' 
 
 At this moment it was necessary to dismount, an<l, as 
 po))])a and 1 both immediately becMuie engaii'cd in recon- 
 ciling momma to the nece?'sity of walking to the top of 
 the plateau, 1 lost the rest of the conversation, ^lonmin, 
 when it was necessary to walk anywhere, always became 
 pathetic and oifered to stay behind aL>ne. She declared 
 on this occasion that she would be i)erfectly happy in 
 the coach with the dear horses, and poppa had to resort 
 to extreme measures. *' Please yourself, Augusta," he 
 said. '' Your lightest whim is law to me, and you know 
 it. lint I'm going to hate standing up in that photo- 
 gra})h all alone with my only child, like any widower." 
 
 " Alexanderl " exclaimed momma at once. '' What 
 a dreadful idea! I thiid< I might be able to manage it.'* 
 
 The j)hotogra])her was there with his camera. The 
 guide marshalled us nj) to him, falling back now and 
 then to bark at the heels of the lagging ones, and, with 
 the assistance of a bench and an acacia, we were rapidly 
 arrange(l, the short ones standing up, the tall ones sit- 
 ting down, everyone assunang his most pleading ex- 
 
'^^••'^^•^ip 
 
 •fppw^r^ 
 
 70 
 
 A V^UYAGE UF CONSOLATK^X. 
 
 j)r('ssion, luul the Misses IJiiiiiliaiii stiindiiiii alono, npart, 
 (HI tlic l)riiik, lookiii*;' on uikIci* an uiii])rclla that sooiirmI 
 to ))rot('('t tliciii from intimate association witii the 
 (Icmocracy in any form. We saw tlic <>ui<l(' approacli 
 them in gin«»('riy inciuiry, bnt, before siniultaneons 
 waves of tiieir two black fans, lie retired in disorder. 
 The l)ride had slippcMl lier hand nj)on lier linsi)and's 
 shoulck'r, jnst t(j mark liis identity; the fat jicntleman 
 had removed liis liat and hurriedly put it on auain, and 
 the j)iiotogTaj)iu'r liad fione un(h'r iiis curtain for the 
 third time, wlien Mr. Ilinkson of Iowa, who sat in a con- 
 sj)icuous cr<)ss-le«iiied jjosition in the foregroun<l, drew 
 from his ])Ocket a handkerchief and spread it carefully 
 out over one knee. It was not an ordinary handkerchief, 
 it was a po(d<et edition of the Stars and Strijjcs, all red, 
 and blue, and white, and it attracted the instant atten- 
 tion of everv <'ve. One of the eves was Mr. Pabblev's, 
 who a|»peared to clear the i-roup at a bound in conse- 
 (juence. 
 
 " Ladies and jientlemen," excdaimed Mr. l*abbley 
 with veliemence, '* (lo(>s anyone happen to have a Union 
 Jack alxuit him or her^" 
 
 Thev felt in their pockets, but thev hadn't. 
 
 " Then," said Mr. l^abbley, who was evidently 
 aroused, " unless the gentleman from Iowa will with- 
 draw his handkercliief, I refuse to sit." 
 
 " I guess we aren't any of us annexationists,'^ said a 
 middle-aged woman from Toronto in a duster, and pro- 
 ceeded to follow Mr. Pabbley. 
 
i»iM I iiPllMV 
 
 i.|iHPi|lf III! U|^H 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 71 
 
 Tlic rest of the Caiiadinns lookrd at eacli otlior iin- 
 docidodlv for a moment ami then slowlv filed after the 
 mi<hlle-a^('d woman. Tlu're remained fhe mere wreck 
 of a <in>np (dusterinij ronnd the national emhlem on the 
 leg of Mr. Ilinkson. The guide was expostulating him- 
 self si)eeehless, the j)h(»tographer was in convidsions, tlio 
 S(»nator saw it was time to interfere. Leaning over, he 
 gently tapjied the })atriot from Iowa on the shoulder. 
 
 " Aren't you satisfied with the sixty nnllion fellow- 
 citizens you've got already," said po|)j)a, '* that you want 
 to grah nine half-starved Canucks with a hand camera^ '' 
 
 " They're in the majority here," saitl ^Mr. Ifinksou 
 iierc(dy, " and I dan^ anv one of 'em to touch that flag. 
 Go along over there and join 'em if you like — they're 
 goin' to be done by themselves — to send to (^ueen Vic- 
 toria! " 
 
 But that was further than anybody would go, even 
 in defence (»f cosmojiolitanism. The Republic rallied 
 round ^Ir. Ilinkson's leg, while the Domiiuon with 
 nuich dignity suj)ported Mr. Pabbley. As niomnui said, 
 hunuui nature is tjcrfectlv extraordinary. 
 
 For the rest of the journey to Versailles there was 
 hardly any international conversation. Mr. Tlinksou 
 tie<l his handkerchief round his neck, an<l the Canadian?? 
 tried to look as if tliey had no objection. We passed 
 through the villages of Montretout and I>uze. I know 
 we did because momma took down tlie names, but I 
 fancy they couldn't liave differed much from the gen- 
 eral landscape, for I don't remember a thing about 
 
ni^ lAis 1^ 
 
 1 
 
 1''. 
 
 72 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 tliem. The Misses Bingham cainc and sat next us at 
 luncheon, wliich flattered hoth nionnna and nie im- 
 mensely, thouf^h tlie Senator didn't seem ahle to see 
 where the distinetion came in, an<l during this meal 
 tliev pointed out the fact that Mr. llinkson was drink- 
 ing lemonade with his roast mutton, and asked us how 
 we could travel with such a eond)ination. 1 rememlxu* 
 pojipa said that it was a ('ond)inati(»n that Mr. llinkson 
 and Mr. Iliid^son onlv had to deal with, hut monuna 
 and I felt tlu^ ohlocjuy of it a good deal, tliough when 
 we came to think of it we were no more responsible for 
 Mr. llinkson than the Misses IJingham were. After 
 that, walking rajudly behind the guide, we covered cen- 
 turies of French historv, illustrated hv chairs and tables 
 and fire-irons and chandeliers and four-j)ost beds, ^[om- 
 nia told uje afterwards that she was rather sorry she had 
 taken me with the guide through Madame du Jiarry's 
 fascinating l\'tit Trianon, the things l.e didn't say 
 sounde(l so imj)roper, but when \ assured her that it was 
 oidv contemporarv scandal that had anv elTect on our 
 morals, she said she supposed that was so, and somehow 
 one never did ex])ect ])eople who wore curled wigs and 
 knee-breeches to behave (piitc prettily. The rooms were 
 dott(>(l with groups of people who had come in fiacres or 
 by tramway, which made it difficult for the guide to 
 impart his information oidy to those who had paid for 
 it. He generally surmounted this by saying, '' Ladies 
 nnd genelmen, I -vant you to stick closer than brothers. 
 When you hear mc a-talkin' don' you go turnin' over 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 73 
 
 I 
 
 your Baodekcrs and lookiii' out of the window. If T 
 didn't know a ^roat big sight more about Vcrsaillca 
 than JJac'dckcr (hx's 1 woulihi't be here niakin' a clown 
 of nivself; an' I'll show vou the view out of the win- 
 (h)w all in good time. You see that lady an' two genel- 
 nien over there ^ Thcifre listenin' all right enough be- 
 eauHC thev don't Ixdong to this party an' they want to 
 get a little information elieap priee. All right — I let 
 'em have it! " At which the lady and two gentlemen 
 usually melted away looking annoyed. 
 
 AVe were fascinated with the coaches of state and 
 much imj>ressed with the cost of them. As momma 
 said, it took so very Ullle imaginatiou to conjure up a 
 lloyal Philij) inside bowing to the populace. 
 
 " A\'liat a pity we couldn't have had them over! " 
 said poppa indiscreetly. 
 
 *' Wlien^ you mean?" demanded the gui(h% *' over 
 to America? I know — for that ole Chicago show I You 
 are the five hundred American who has said that to 
 me this sununer! Xundjer five hundred! Xossir, we 
 don't lend those carriage. We don't even drive them 
 ourself." 
 
 " Xo more kings and (jueens nowadays," remarked 
 Mr. llinkson, " this century's got no use for them." 
 
 I think the guide was a Alouarchist. '' Xossir," Ik; 
 lid, " you don't see no more kings an' queens of France, 
 but you (h) see a good many people travellin' that's 
 nothin' like so good for trade." 
 
 At which ^Ir. Pabblev's eye sought that of t^'-C 
 
-T^nvifWi^ata 
 
 "^xp«vr 
 
 mwmm'mmw imtm.um 
 
 74 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 p;iii(lo, and expressed its appreciation in a marked and 
 joyous wink. 
 
 In the I'alace, especially in the picture rooms, there 
 were generally benches along the walls. AVhcn monnna 
 observed this she arranged that she should go on ahead 
 and sit down and get the impression, while poppa and 
 1 caught up from time to time with the guide and the 
 information. The guide was quite agreeable about it, 
 when it was explained to him. 
 
 lie was either a very thoughtless or a very insin- 
 cere person, however. Stopping before the })ortrait of 
 an ofHcer in unifomi, he drew us all together. The 
 Canadians, headed by Mr. Pabbley, were well to the 
 fore, and it was to them in particular that he apj)eared 
 to address himself when he said, " Take a good look at 
 this picture, ladies and genelmen. There is a man wat 
 lives in your 'istory an', if I may say, in your 'art — 
 as he does in ours. There's a man, ladies and genel- 
 men, that helped you on to liberty. Take a good look 
 at 'im, you'll be glad to remember it afterward." 
 
 And it was General Lafavette! 
 
■■■»iiiaiB«W 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 It was after dinner and we were sitting!: in tlie little 
 courtyard of tiie hotel in tlie dark without imv hats — 
 that is, nioinina and 1; the St'nator was seldom aho- 
 gether witliout his hat. 1 think lie would have f(dt it 
 to he a little indecent. The (Muirtyard was pavetl, and 
 there were ilowers on the stand in the middle of it, natu- 
 ral j)alms and artitieial hej^onias ndxed with the most 
 annovinj;' (deverness, and little tahles for ecdfee cups or 
 glasses were scattered about. Outside beyond the hotel 
 vestibule one could see an<l hear Paris rolling by in the 
 gaslight. It was the oidy place in the hottd that did 
 not smell of furniture, so we frcciuented it. So did Mr. 
 ]\lalt and Mrs. ^lalt, an<l Kmmelino Malt, and Miss 
 Callis. That- was chiefly how we made the acquaintance 
 of the Malt party. Von can't very well sit out in the 
 dark in a foreign caj)ital with a fannly from your own 
 State and not get to know them. Besides pop|)a never 
 could overcome his feeling of indebtedness to Mr. ^lalt. 
 They were taking Enmudine abroad for her health. She 
 was the popular thirteen-year-old only child of Ameri- 
 can families, and she c(M'taiidy was thin. I remember 
 
 being [)leased, sometimes, co!isidering her in her tvpical 
 r, 75 
 
 
^■MPa ,1 
 
 73 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 capacity, that I once had a litth. l)r((thcr, tlwmgli lio 
 died hdorc 1 was iioni. 
 
 The two ficiitK'iiicii were siiiokiiiji'; wc couhl hcc 
 nothing" hiit tlic ends of their cigars <:,lowiiin' in tlieir 
 iinmeihate viciiiitv. Moimiia was saving- that tlie sitiia- 
 tion was verv romantic, and Mv. ^lait liad assnred her 
 that it was notliiiii:: to wliat we would experience in 
 Italy. " Tiiat's where you (/cf romance," said Mr. .Malt, 
 and his ciuaJ" cud droj»pe<l like a falling star as lie re- 
 movecl the ash. " Italy's heen romantic ever since H. C 
 All through the time the rest <d' the world was inventing 
 ]\Iaj;iia Chartas and Doomsday l>ook>;, and Parliaments, 
 an<l printinji; presses, and steam eniiines, Italy's fjjono 
 ri}iht on turning- (tut romatu'c. Ivesnlt is, a hetter (jnal- 
 itv of that artii'le to he had in Italv to-(lav than any- 
 
 4. 1*1/ 
 
 where (dse. Further result, twenty million pounds 
 spent there annually hy tourists from all parts of the 
 civilised worM. Komance, like anythiiii!,' else, can he 
 mad(^ to pay." 
 
 " Are we likely to iind the heds " began Mrs. 
 
 ^lalt ])laintively. 
 
 "Oh dear yes, Mrs. ^lalt!" interru|)ted momma, 
 who thought everything entonioh»gical extrenudy indeli- 
 cate. " Perfectly. You have only to go to the hotcds 
 the guide-hooks recommend, and everything will be 
 quite propir.'' 
 
 '' Well," said Emmelino, " they may be propre in 
 Italy, but they're not proprc in Paris. We had to 
 apeak to the housemaid yesterday morning, didn't 
 
-^^mmn^'^^ 
 
 m ■ mnpvi PI 
 
 * 
 
 I , 
 
 A VUYAdK OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 77 
 
 \v(\ inoflicr' Dtm't vou rciiicmlxr the hack of my 
 iicck^ " 
 
 •• We :ill .-iiirciv.i: " (Iccliircd Mrs. Malt. 
 
 " AikI I sintirril (Uic to licr, luotlicr, and all she 
 would say was, ' Jama is lii, niadeinoiscllc, Icl, jtinKtis!* 
 Ami tlicrc it irtts v(»u know." 
 
 I 
 
 '• Kniiiicliiw," said licr fallicr, " isn't it about tinu' 
 for yon to want to ^o to IxmH " 
 
 " Not l>y about tlircc hours. I'm fioinji; to get up 
 a little music first. Do you i>lay. Mis' Wick^" 
 
 Momma said siie didn't, and Miss Malt <Iisaj)poarod 
 in search of other ])ert'ormers. '* Don't you <i<» asking 
 strangers to ])lay, Kmmeline," lier mother calletl alter 
 her. *' They'll think it forward of vou." 
 
 " When Kmmeline leaves us," said lier father, " T 
 always luive a kind of ahand<»n(Ml feeling, like a top 
 that's got to the end of its s|)in." 
 
 'I'here was silence for a moment, and then the Sena- 
 tor said he thought he could mnh'rstand that. 
 
 " W(dl," contiiuied Mr. Malt, ''you've had three 
 ^v]lolo days now. I })resume you're beginning to know 
 vour wav around." 
 
 " I think we mav sav we've made nrettv liood use 
 of our time," resjionth-d tli<' Senator. '' This morning 
 we had a look in at the Luxembourg picture gallery, and 
 tin* .Madeleine, and Xajxdeon's Tondi, and the sit(! of 
 the Bastile. This afternoon we took a run down to 
 Xotre Dame Cathedral. That's a very fine building, 
 
 sir. 
 
 » 
 
^i^ 
 
 7s 
 
 A voyacf: of consolation. 
 
 " Voii saw the Morgue, of conisc, when yon were in 
 tlint <lir('<'tioii," rciiiiirkcd Mr. Malt. 
 
 " Why no," pojipai <'oiif('ss(>(l, " we liavcii't taken 
 iinicli of liking for live Krcnc'linK'n, np to tlic imscnt, 
 and I don't snpposc dead (tncs wonld be any more at- 
 tractive." 
 
 "Oil, tlicn-'s nothing- nnplcasant," said .Mrs. .Malt, 
 " notidn^ that yon can nolicr.'" 
 
 '* .\<»thin.ii iit all," said .Mr. Malt. " 'I'hcy rcfriir- 
 eratc tlicni, von know. We send onr hccf to Kimiand 
 l>y the same jiroccss " 
 
 " There are |)eo|)le," the Senator interrnpted, '^ who 
 never can see anythinj^ aninsinj^ in a corpse." 
 
 '' They (hni't let yon in as a matter of conrse," .Mr. 
 Afait went on. '* ^'on have to pretend that yon're hj<jk- 
 h'v: for a relati(»n." 
 
 '* We had to mention T'^ncle Sammy," said Afrs. 
 Malt. 
 
 " An nncle of Mis' Malt's wlio went to Califonda 
 in '49 an<l was never lieard of afterward," .Mr. .Malt 
 explained. '^ First nse he's ever i)een to his family. 
 AVell^ there they were, seven of 'em, lyinji;; there looking 
 at von vesterdav. All in ijood condition. T was told 
 they have a place downstairs for the older ones." 
 
 " Alexander," said monnna faintly, " I think T 
 should like a little brandy in my coiTe(\ AVere tliere — 
 were there any ladies amon^' them, ^fr. ^falti^" 
 
 " Tliree," .Mr. .Malt responded briskly, 'Suid one of 
 them had her hair " 
 
A VoYAdK OF CONSOI.ATIOX. 
 
 :t> 
 
 ** Then jtlmsr dmrt tell ns nitoiit tluMii," iiiotimui 
 cxclaiiiKMl, and tlic silence tliait ('IisiumI was one <»t" sli<;!it 
 indi^iiatinji (tii tlic |tart of llic Malt family. 
 
 ** ^^^u l)een seeiiij;- tlie town at all, evt-nings^" Mr. 
 Malt in(|nli'(Ml *>{ the Senator. 
 
 *' I can't say T have. We've ln'cn seeing- so nmcli 
 of it in the (laviiine, we haven't felt ahle to enjoy any- 
 thing at niulit e.\cci>t our IkhIs," poppa returnecl with liis 
 uccustonieil <'an<lonr. 
 
 "Just so. All the same there's a p,<>o<l deal ^oin«r 
 on in Paris after supper." 
 
 '* So I've always heen told," said the Senator, light- 
 ing:,' an<»ther cijiar. 
 
 " 'i'liev'v«' i:<»t what vou iniiiht call characteristic 
 shows here, ^'ou see a lot of life." 
 
 "Can vou take vour ladies^" asked the Sena- 
 tor. 
 
 " Well of c<)urse you cdn, hut I don't believe they 
 would tind it interesting." 
 
 '* 'i'oo much life," said the Senator. " I j;uess that 
 settles it for me too. I daresay I'm lackinjj: in original- 
 ity and enterprise, hut I f:;enerally ask myscdf al)out 
 nn entertainm(>nt, 'Are .Mrs. and Miss Wick likely to 
 enjoy it^' If so, well and good. If not, 1 don't as a 
 ride take it in." 
 
 " lie's a great comfort that way," remarked momma 
 
 to :Mrs. :Nrait. 
 
 " Oh, T don't h'vtiucnt them myself," said Mr. Malt 
 defensively. 
 

 IMAGE EVALUATION 
 TEST TARGET (MT-3) 
 
 V. 
 
 /. 
 
 
 
 :a 
 
 Vs 
 
 
 1.0 
 
 I.I 
 
 If ^ llliM 
 
 2.5 
 2.2 
 
 1.8 
 
 lUI IIIIIJA 11.6 
 
 Photographic 
 
 Sciences 
 Corporation 
 
 as WEST MAIN STREET 
 
 WEBSTER, NY. 14580 
 
 (716) 872-4503 
 

Ml 
 
 80 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " Talking of improprieties," remarked ]\Iiss Callis, 
 " have vou seen the Xew Salon? " 
 
 There \vas something very unexpected about ^liss 
 Callis; momma complained of it. Her remarks were 
 never polished by reflection. She called herself a child 
 of nature, but she really resided in Brooklyn. 
 
 The Senator said we had not. 
 
 " Then don't you go, ^fr. AVick. There's a pic- 
 ture there " 
 
 " We never look at such pictures, Miss Callis," 
 monnna interrupted. 
 
 " It's so French," said Miss Callis. 
 
 Momma drew her shawl round her preparatory to 
 withdrawing, but it was too late. 
 
 " Too French for words," continued Miss Callis. 
 '^ The poet Lamartine, with a note-book and pencil in 
 his hand, seated in a triumi)hal chariot, drawn through 
 the clouds by beautiful Muses." 
 
 " Oh," said momma, in a relieved voice, ^' there's 
 nothing so dreadfully French about that." 
 
 " You should have seen it," said ^liss Callis. " It 
 was simply immoral. Lamartine was in a froi'k coat! " 
 
 " There could have been nothing objectionable in 
 that," momma repeated. " I suppose the Muses " 
 
 " The Muses were not in frock coats. They were 
 dressed in their traditions," replied Miss Callis, " but 
 they couldn't save the situation, poor dears." 
 
 ^fomma looked as if she wished she had the courage 
 to ask ]\Iiss Callis to explain. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 8t 
 
 " In picture galleries," remarked pojipa, '' we've seen 
 only the Lnxcniboiirg and the Louvre. The Louvre, 
 I acknowledge, is worthy of a second visit. But I don't 
 , Ixdieve we'll have time to get round again." 
 
 '^ We've got to get a hustle on ourselves in a day 
 or two," said ^Ir. ]\lalt, as we se})arated for the night. 
 " There's all Italy and Switzerland waiting for us, and 
 they're hound to he done, because we've got circular 
 tickets. Ijut there's something about this town that I 
 hate to leave.'^ 
 
 " He doesn't know whether it's tiie Arc de Triouiphe 
 on the Bois de Loulogne or the Opera (^jmicpie, or 
 what," said Mrs. Malt in affectionate criticism. '" But 
 we've been here a week over our tiuie now, and he 
 doesn't seem able to tear himself awav." 
 
 " I'll tell you what it is," exclaimed ^Ir. ^lalt, pro- 
 ducing a newspaper, " it's this little old New York 
 Herald. There's no use comparing it with any Ameri- 
 can newspaper, and it wouldn't be fair to do so; but I 
 wonder these French rags, in a fcjreign tongue, aren't 
 ashamed to be published in the same capital with it. It 
 doesn't take above a quarter of an hour to read in the 
 mornings, but it's a quarter of an hour of solid com- 
 fort that you don't expect somehow abroad. If the New 
 Yorh Herald were only published in Rome I wouldn't 
 mind going there." 
 
 " There's something," said poppa, thoughtfully, as 
 we ascended to the third floor, '' in what ;^^alt says." 
 
 K^ext day we spent an hour buying trunks for the 
 
82 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 acc'oiuiiiodation of the unattainable elsewhere. Then 
 poppa reminded us that we liad an important satisfac- 
 tion yet to experience. " Business l)efore ])leasure," he 
 said, " certainly. But we've been im])roving our minds 
 pretty hard for the last few days, and I feel the need 
 of a little relaxation. 1). V. and W. 1^., I proi)ose this 
 afternoon to make the ascent of the Eiifel Tower. Are 
 you on? " 
 
 " I will accompany you, Alexander, if it is safe," 
 said momma, " and, if it is unsafe, I couldn't possibly 
 let you go without me." 
 
 Momma is naturally a person of some timidity, but 
 when the Senator proposes to incur any danger, she 
 always suggests that he shall do it over her dead body. 
 
 I forget where we were at the time, but I know that 
 we had only to walk through the perpetual motion of 
 Paris, across a bridge, and down a few steps on the other 
 side, to find the little steamer that took us by the river 
 to the Tower. AVe might have gone by omnibus or by 
 fiacre, but if we had we should nev^r liave known what 
 a street the Seine is, sliding through Paris, brown in 
 the open sun, dark under the shadowing arches of the 
 bridges, full of hastening comers and goers from land- 
 ing-place to landing-place, up and down. It gave us 
 quite a new familiarity with the river, which had been 
 before only a part of the landscape, and one of the things 
 that made Paris imposing. We saw that it was a high- 
 way of traffic, and that the little, brisk, business-like 
 steamers were full of people, who went about in them 
 
• pr'i "T* »"t«ip^ "^ ' If 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 83 
 
 because it was the elieapest and most convenient way, 
 and not at all for the i)leasurc of a trip by water. We 
 noticed, too, a difference in these river-going- people. 
 Some of them carried baskets, and some of them read the 
 Petit Journal, and thev all comfortablv submitted to 
 the good-natured bullying of the mariner in charge. 
 There were elderlv women in black, with a button or 
 two off their tight bodices, and children with patched 
 shoes carrying an assortment of vegetables, and middle- 
 aged men in slouch hats, smoking tobacco that would 
 have been forbidden by public statute anywhere else. 
 They all treated us with a respect and consideration 
 which we had not observed in the Avenue de I'Opera, 
 and I noticed the Senator visibly expanding in it. There 
 was also a man and a little boy, and a dog, all lunching 
 out of the same basket. Afterward, on being requested 
 to do so, the dog performed tricks — French ones — to 
 the enjoyment and satisfaction of all three. There 
 was a great deal of politeness and good feeling, and 
 if they were not Capi and Tlemi and Vitalis in ^'Sans 
 FamiUr,'^ it was merely because their circumstances 
 were different. 
 
 As we stood looking at the Eiffel Tower, ])oppa said 
 he thought if he were in my place he wouldn't describe 
 it. " It's old news," he said, " and there's nothing the 
 general public dislike so much as that. Every liotel- 
 })orter in Chicago knows that it's three hundred metres 
 high, and that you can see through it all the way up. 
 There it is, and I feel as if I'd passed my boyhood in its 
 
84 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 shadow. That way I iimst say it's a disappointment. 
 I was expecting it to be more unexpected, if you under- 
 stand." 
 
 .Momma and I quite agreed. It had the familiarity 
 of a demonstration of Euclid, and to the non-engineering 
 mind was about as interesting. The Senator felt so well 
 accjuainted witli it that he hesitated about buying a de- 
 scriptive pamphlet. " They want to sell a stranger too 
 much information in this country," he said. "' The 
 meanest American intelligence is equal to stepping into 
 an elevator and stei)ping out again." But he bought 
 one nevertheless, and was particularly pleased with it, 
 not only because it was the cheapest thing in Paris at 
 five cents, but because, as he said himself, it contained 
 an amount of enthusiasm not usually available at any 
 price. 
 
 The Senator thought, as we entered the elevator at 
 the first story, that the acconnnodation compared very 
 well indeed with anything in his experience, lie had 
 only one criticism — there was no smoking-room. We 
 had a slioht difficultv with momma at the second story 
 — she did not wish to change her elevator. Inside she 
 said she felt perfectly secure, but the tower itself she 
 knew vuist waggle at that height when once you stepped 
 out. In the end, however, we persuaded her not to go 
 down before she had made the ascent, and she rose to 
 the top with her eyes shut. When we finally got out, 
 however, the sight of numbers of young ladies selling 
 Eiffel Tower mementoes steadied her nerves. She 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 85 
 
 
 agreed witli jtoppa tliat business ])reMiises would never 
 let on anything' l)ut the most stable basis. 
 
 '' It's exactly as Brandev said," remarked the 8ena- 
 tor. '' You're U}) so high that the scenerv, so far as 
 Paris is concerned, becomes perfectly ridicidous. It 
 might as well be a map." 
 
 ^"DonH look over, Alexand(M*," said momma. '' It 
 will fill von with a wild desire to throw yourself down. 
 It is said always to have that effect." 
 
 " ' The past ends in this plain at your feet,' " (pioted 
 poppa critically from the guide-book, " ' the futun^ will 
 there be fulfilled.' I suppose they did feel a bit uppish 
 when they'd got as high as this — but you'd think France 
 was about the only rejiublic at present doing business, 
 wouldn't von? " 
 
 I pointed out the Pantheon down below and St. Eti- 
 enne du J\Iont, and po])pa was inunediately filled witli 
 a poignant regret that we had spent so much time seeing 
 public buildings on foot. " Whereas," said he, '' from 
 our present point of view we could have done them all 
 in ten minutes. As it is, we shall be in a position to 
 say we've seen everything there is to be seen in Paris. 
 Brandey won't be able to tell us it's a pity we've missed 
 anything. However," he continued, " we must be con- 
 scientious about it. I've no desire to play it low down 
 on Bramley. Let us walk round and ])ick out the places 
 of interest he's most likely to exi)ect to catch us on, 
 and look at them sei)arately. I should hate to think 
 I wasn't telling the truth about a thing like that." 
 
80 A VOYAGE OF (CONSOLATION. 
 
 " Wo walked round and specifically observed the 
 " Ecole des P>eanx Arts," the '' Palais d'liidnstrie," 
 '' Liberty Enlightening the World," and other objects, 
 ])0])pa carefully noting against each of them " seen from 
 Eiifel Tower." As we made our way to the river side 
 we noticed four other peoj)le, two ladies and two gentle- 
 men, looking at the military balloon hanging over Aleu- 
 don. They all had their backs to us, and there was to 
 me something dissimilarly familiar about three of those 
 backs. While I was trying to analyse it one of the gen- 
 tlemen turned, and caught sight of poppa. In another 
 instant the highest elevation yet made by engineering 
 skill was the scene of three impetuous American hand- 
 clasps, and four impulsive American voices were say- 
 ing, " Why liow do you do! " The gentleman was Mr. 
 Richard Dod of Chicago, known to our family without 
 interruption since he wore long clothes. Mr. Dod had 
 come into his patrimony and simultaneously disappeared 
 in the direction of Europe six months before, since when 
 we had onlv heard vaguelv that he had lost most of it, 
 but was inaiterably cheerful; and there was nobody, 
 apparently, he expected so little or desired so much to 
 see in Paris as the Senator, momma and me. Poppa 
 called him " Dick, my boy," momma called him " my 
 dear Dicky," I called him plain " Dick," and when this 
 had been going on for, possibly, five minutes, the older 
 and larger of the two ladies of the party swung round 
 with a majesty I at once associated with my earlier Lon- 
 don experiences, and regarded us through her pince nez. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 87 
 
 Thoro was no mistakiiii;' her disapproval. I had soon 
 it h('for(\ We wcmv Amoricans and slic was Airs. Por- 
 theris of Half ^Moon-street, l^iccadilly. I saw that she 
 recognised nie and was trving to make uj) lier mind 
 wlietlier, in view of the complication of Mv. J)od, to 
 bow or not. But the woman who hesitates is lost, even 
 thongli she be a British matron of massive ])rejndices 
 and a figure to match. In Airs. Portheris's instant of 
 vacillation, I stepped forward with such enthusiasm 
 that she was compelled to take down her pinrr ncz an<l 
 hold out a superior hand. I took it warndy, and turned 
 to my parents with a joy which was not in the least 
 affected. " Alonnna," I exclaimed, " try to think of 
 the very last jierson who would naturally cross your 
 mind — our relation, Airs. Portheris. Poppa, allow me 
 to introduce vou to vour aunt — Airs. Portheris. Your 
 far distant nephew from Chicago, Air. Joshua Peter 
 AVick." 
 
 It was a moment to be remend)ered — we all said so 
 afterwards. Everything hung upon Airs. Portheris's at- 
 titude. But it was immediatelv evident that Airs. Por- 
 tlieris considered parents of any kind excusable, even 
 commendable! Her manner said as much — it also im- 
 plied, however, that she could not possibly be held 
 responsible for transatlantic connections by a former 
 marriage. Alomma was nervous, but collected. She 
 bowed a distant AVastgaggle bow, an heirloom in the 
 family, which gave Airs. Portheris to understand that 
 if any cordiality was to characterise the occasion, it 
 
88 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 would have to ('iiuuiato from licr. licsidcs, ^Irs. Por- 
 tlicris was })opj)a'.s relation, and would naturaliv have 
 to be guarded against. Poi)pa, on the other hand, was 
 cordiality itself — he always is. 
 
 "Why, is tliat so?" said po])pa, looking earnestly 
 at Mrs. Portheris and firndy retaiinng her hand. " Is 
 this my very own Aunt Caroline? " 
 
 " At one time," res])onde(l ^Irs. Portheris with a 
 diflicult smile, " and, I fear, by marriage only." 
 
 "Ah, to be sure, to be sure! Poor Unele Jin.my 
 gave plaee to another. But we won't say anything 
 more about that. Especially as you've been efpially 
 unfortunate with your second," said poppa sym})athet- 
 ically. " Well, I'm sure I'm pleased to meet you 
 — glad to shake you by the hand." He gave that 
 mend)er one more pressure as he spoke and relin- 
 quished it. 
 
 " It is extremely unlooked for," replied his Aunt 
 Caroline, and looked at Mr. Dod, who qusiled, as if 
 he were in some way responsible for it. *' I confess I 
 am not in the habit of meeting my connections promiscu- 
 ously abroad." When we came to analyse the impro- 
 priety of this it was difficult, but we felt as a family 
 very disreputable at the time. Islr. Dod radiated sym]ia- 
 thy for us. Poppa looked concerned. 
 
 " The fact is," said he, " we ought to have called 
 on you at your London residence. Aunt Caroline. And 
 if we had been able to make a more protracted stay than 
 just about long enough, as you might say, to see what 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 89 
 
 time it was, we would liavo done so. Uiit yon sec liow 
 it was. 
 
 '' Vvny don't mention it," said Mrs. Portlicris. " It 
 is very unlikely tliat I sliould liave lu'cn at liome." 
 
 " Tlien (Itars all right," p(»])|)a replied with relief. 
 
 " London lias so many monuments," murmured 
 Dieky Dod, regarding Mrs. Portheris's impressive back. 
 *' It is (piite imi)ossii)l(> to visit them all." 
 
 " The view from here," our relation remarked in a 
 leave-taking tone, " is very beautiful, is it not^ " 
 
 '' It's very extensive," replied jjoppa, '' but I notice 
 the iidiabitants round about seem to think it end)ra('es 
 the biggest part of civilisation. I admit it's a good- 
 sized view, but that's what I call enlarging ui)on it." 
 
 " Come, Mr. Dod," commanded Mrs. Portheris, '' we 
 must rejoin the rest of our party. They are on the other 
 side." 
 
 " Certainly," said Dickv. " P>ut vou must give mo 
 your address, Mrs. AVick. Thanks. And there now! 
 I've been away from Illinois a good long time, but I'm 
 not going to forget to congratulate Chicago on getting 
 you once more into the United States Senate, :Mr. Wick. 
 I did what I could in my humble way, you know." 
 
 " I know you did, Kichard," returned poppa warmly, 
 " and if there's any little Consulship in foreign parts 
 that it would amuse vou to fill " 
 
 V' 
 
 Mrs. Portheris, in the act of exchanging unemotional 
 farewells with mamma, turned round. " Do I under- 
 stand that you are now a Senator? " she inquired. " I 
 
00 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 liad no idcti of it. It is ('crtainlv a distiiiL'tion — an 
 Aiiicrican (listinctioii, of course — Itut you can't help 
 tliat. It does vou credit. I trust von will use vour 
 inlluence to put an end to tlie Mormons." 
 
 " As far as that i!,oes," poppa returned with depre- 
 cation, '' I believe my business does take me to the Capi- 
 tol pretty regularly now. Bnt I'd be sorry to think any 
 more of myself on that account. Your nephew, Aunt 
 C^irolinc, is just the same jdain American he was be- 
 fore." 
 
 " I hope you will vote to exterminate them," con- 
 tinued jMrs. Portheris with decision. '' Dear me! A 
 Senator--! sui)pose you must have a great deal of in- 
 fluence in your own country! Ah, here are the truants! 
 AVe might all go down in the lift together." 
 
 The truants appeared looking conscious. One of 
 them, when he saw me, looked astonished as well, and 
 
 1 cannot say that T myself was perfectly unmoved when 
 I realised that it was j\[r. Maiferton! There was no 
 reason why Mr. Maiferton should not have been at the 
 top of the Eiffel Tower in the society of Mrs. Portheris, 
 Mr. Dod, and another, that afternoon, but for the mo- 
 ment it seemed to me uniquely amazing. We shook 
 hands, however — it was the only thing to do — and Mr. 
 ^faiferton said this was indeed a surprise as if it were 
 the most ordinary thing possible. Mrs. Portheris looked 
 on at our greeting with an air of objecting to things 
 she had not been taught to expect, and remarked that 
 she had no idea Mr. Mafferton was one of my London 
 
 I n 
 
t 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 01 
 
 1 
 
 ■7 
 
 I J 
 
 ac(|uaintaiu'os. " J>iit tiicii,'' she coutiniUMl in a tone 
 of just r('j)r(>a(')i, *' I saw so littk' of you (lurinu' vour 
 season in town that you niij^lit liavc niadc^ tli<' (Queen's 
 a('(iuaintanc(' and all tlic lioyal Family, and I should 
 have l)een none the wiser." 
 
 It was too niueli to expeet of one's momma that she 
 sliould let an opportunity like that slip, and mine took 
 hold of it with hoth hands. 
 
 '' I helieve my dauj^hter did make Vietoria's ae- 
 qnaintanee, Mrs. J\)rtheris," said she, " and we were all 
 very ])Iease(l about it. Your (^lU'cn has a very ^ood 
 reputation in our country. We think her a wise sover- 
 eign and a perfect huly. 1 suppose you often go to her 
 Drawing Rooms." 
 
 ^Irs. l^ortheris wore the expression of one passing 
 through the Stone Age to a somewhat more mobile 
 period. " I really think," she said, " I shouhl have been 
 made aware of that. To luive had a young rcdative ])re- 
 sented without one's knowledge seems too extraordinary. 
 No," she continued, turning to poppa, " the only thing 
 I heard of this young lady — it came to me in a very 
 roundabout numner — was that she had gone home to 
 be married. Was not that your intention? " asked Mrs. 
 Portheris, turning to me. 
 
 " It was," I said. There was nothing else to say. 
 
 " Then may T inquire if you fulfilled it ? " 
 
 " I didn't, Mrs. Tortheris," said I. I was very red, 
 but not so red as Mr. Mafferton. " Circumstances inter- 
 fered." T w^as prepared for an inquiry as to what the 
 7 
 
rrsyi , ■ ^ '.',ri,^,r ■; "^'Avt'' 
 
 92 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 circumstances were, and privately made up my mind 
 that Mrs. Portlieris was too distant a relation to be grati- 
 fied with such information in the publicity of the Eiifel 
 Tower. But she merely looked at me with suspicion, 
 and said it was much better that young people should 
 discover their unsuitability to one another before mar- 
 riage than after. " I can conceive notliing more shock- 
 ing than divorce," said Mrs. Portheris, and her tone in- 
 dicated tliat I had probably narrowly escaped it. 
 
 We were rather a large party as we made our way 
 to the elevator, and I found myself behind the others 
 ir conversation with Dicky Dod. It was a happiness to 
 come thus unexpectedly upon Dicky Dod — he gave forth 
 all that is most exhilarating in our democratic civilisa- 
 tion, and he was in excellent spirits. As the young lady 
 of Mrs. Portheris's party joined us I thought I found 
 a barometric readiug in Mr. Dod's countenance that ex- 
 plained the situation. " I remember you," she said 
 shyly, and there was something in this innocent audacity 
 and the blush which accompanied it that helped me to 
 remember her too. *"' You came to see nianmia in Half 
 Moon-street once. I am L>abel." 
 
 " Dear me! " I replied, " so you are. I remember 
 — you had to go upstairs, hadn't you. Please don't 
 mind," I went on hastily as Isabel looked distressed, 
 " you couldn't help it. I was very unexpected, and I 
 might have been dangerous. How — how you've 
 grown! ^^ I really couldn't think of anything else to 
 say. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 93 
 
 Isabel blii.shetl again, Dicky observing with absorbed 
 adoration. It was lovely colour. " You know I haven't 
 really," she said, " it's all one's long frocks and doing up 
 one's hair, vou know." 
 
 " Miss Portheris only came out two months ag.">," 
 remarked ^Ir. Dod, with the effect of announcing that 
 Venus had just arisen from the foam. 
 
 " Come, young people," Mrs. Portheris exclaiuied 
 from the lift; " we are waiting for you." Poppa and 
 monuna and Mr. ^laflerton were already inside. Mrs. 
 Portlieris stood in the door. As Isabel entered, I saw 
 that ^Ir. Dod was making the wildest efforts to com- 
 municate somethinij: to me with his left eve. 
 
 " Come, young people," repeated Mrs. Portheris. 
 
 " Do you think it's safe for so manv? " asked Dicky 
 doubtfully. " Suppose anything should (jive, you 
 know! " 
 
 ^[rs. Portheris looked undecided. ^lomma, from 
 the interior, immediately proposed to get out. 
 
 " Safe as a church," remarked the Senator. 
 
 "What do you mean, Dod^" demanded Mr. Maf- 
 ferton. 
 
 "Well, it's like this," said Dicky; "Miss Wick is 
 rather nervous about overcrowding, and I think it's 
 better to run no risks myself. You all go down, and 
 we'll follow you next trip. See? " 
 
 " I suppose you will hardly allow thafy Mrs. Wick," 
 said our relation, with ominous portent. 
 
 "Est ce que vous voulez a descendre, monsieur?** 
 
 * 
 
■'.f ,:,■■■■' ■ ' ' - 'i: ■" ■ ■ ■ < 
 
 94 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 inquired the official attached to the elevator, with some 
 impatience. 
 
 "I don't see what there is to object to — I sup- 
 pose it would be safer," momma replied anxiously, 
 and the official again demanded if we were going 
 down. 
 
 " Xot this trip, thank you," said Dicky, and turned 
 a way. Mrs. Portheris, who had taken her seat, rose 
 with dignit}'. " In that case," said she, " I also will 
 remain at the top; " but her determination arrived too 
 late. With a ferocious gesture the little official shut 
 the door and gave the signal, and Mrs. Portheris sank 
 earthwards, a vision of outraged propriety. I felt sorry 
 for momma. 
 
 ^' And now," I inquired of Mr. Dod, " why was the 
 elevator not safe ? " 
 
 " I'll tell you," said Dicky. " Do you know Mrs. 
 Portheris well?" 
 
 " Yery slightly indeed," I replied. 
 
 '' Xot well enough to — sort of chum up with our 
 party, I suppose." 
 
 " Xot for worlds," said I. 
 
 Dicky looked so disconsolrte that I was touched. 
 
 " Still," I said, '' you'd better trot out the circum- 
 stances, Dicky. We haven't forgotten what you did 
 in your humble way, you know, at election time. I 
 can promise for the family that we'll do anything we 
 can. You mustn't ask us to poison her, but we might 
 lead her into the influenza." 
 
;P;7r;sS('*T 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 95 
 
 " It's tliis way," said ^Ir. Dod. '* How romarkably 
 contracted the Place de la Concorde looks down there, 
 
 doesn't it I It's like looking through the wrong end of 
 
 an opera glass,'' 
 
 " I've observed that," I said. " It won't ho fair to 
 keep them waiting very long down there on the earth, 
 you know, Dicky." 
 
 '^ Certainly not! AVell, as I was saying, your poppa's 
 Aunt Caroline is a perfect fiend of a chapcrone. l^y 
 Jove, Mamie, let's be silhouetted! " 
 
 " Poppa was silhouetted," I said, '*• and the artist 
 turned him out the image of Senator Frye. Xow he 
 doesn't resemble Senator Frve in the least deurce. The 
 elevator is ascending, Pichard." 
 
 Pichard blushed and looked intentlv at the horizon 
 bevond Montmartre. 
 
 " You see, between ^[iss Portlieris and me, it's this 
 way," he began recklessly, but with the vision before 
 my eyes of monnna on the steps below wanting her 
 tea, I cut him short. 
 
 " So far as you are concerned, Dicky, I see the way 
 it is," I interposed sympathetically. " The question 
 is " 
 
 " Exactly. So it is. About Isabel. But I can't 
 find out. It seems to be so difficult with an English 
 girl. Doesn't seem to think such a thing as a — a pro- 
 posal exists. Now an American girl is just as 
 ready " 
 
 " Pichard," I interrupted severely, " the circum- 
 
 
96 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 stances do not require international comparisons. By 
 the way, how do you happen to be travelling with — 
 with Mr. Mafferton?" 
 
 " That's exactly where it comes in," Mr. Dod ex- 
 claimed luminouslv. " You'd think, the way ^lafferton 
 purrs round the old lady, he'd been a friend of the fam- 
 ily from the ])eginning of time! Fact is, he met them 
 two davs before thev left London. / had known them 
 a good month, and the venerable one seemed to take 
 to me considerably. There wasn't a cab she wouldn't 
 let me call, nor a box at the theatre she wouldn't occupy, 
 nor a supper she wouldn't try to enjoy. Used to ask me 
 to tea. Inquired whether I was High or Low. That 
 was awful, because I had to chance it, being Congre- 
 gational, but I hit it right — she's Low, too, strong. 
 Isabel always made the tea out of a canister the old 
 lady kept locked. Singular habit that, locking tea up in 
 a canister." 
 
 " You are wandering, Dicky," I said. '^ And Isabel 
 used to ask you whether you would have muffins or 
 brown bread and butter — I know. Go on." 
 
 " Girls Jiave intuition," remarked Mr. Dod with 
 a glance of admiration which I discounted with con- 
 tempt. " Well, then old Mafferton turned up here a 
 week ago. Since then I haven't been waltzing in as I 
 did before. Old lady seems to think there's a chance 
 of keeping the family pure English — seems to think 
 she'd like it better — see? At least, I take it that way; 
 he's cousin to a lord," Dick added dejectedly, " and you 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 97 
 
 a 
 I 
 
 ice 
 nk 
 
 j; 
 
 on 
 
 know financially I've been coming through a cold 
 season." 
 
 *' It's awkward," I admitted, " but old ladies of no 
 family are like that over here. I know Mrs. Portheris 
 is an old lady of no family, because she's a connection 
 of ours, } ou see. What about Isabel i Can't you tell 
 the least bit?" 
 
 "How can a fellow? She blushes just as much 
 when he speaks to her as when I do." 
 
 " But are you quite sure," I asked delicately, 
 "whether Mr. Mafferton is — interested?" 
 
 " There's the worst kind of danger of it," Dicky 
 replied impressively. " I don't know whether I ought 
 to tell you, but the fact is ]\Iaiferton's just got the sack 
 — I beg your pardon — just been congeed himself. They 
 say she was an American and it was a bad case; she be- 
 haved most unfeelingly." 
 
 " You shouldn't believe all you hear," I said, " but 
 I don't see what that has to do with it." 
 
 " Why, lie's just in the mood to console himself. 
 What fellow would think twice of being thrown over, 
 if Miss Portheris were the alternative! " 
 
 " It depends, Dicky," I observed. " You are jump- 
 ing at conclusions." 
 
 " What I hoped," he went on regretfully as we took 
 our places in the elevator, " was that we might travel 
 together a bit and that you wouldn't mind just now and 
 then taking old Mafferton off our hands, you know." 
 
 " Dicky," I said, as we swiftly descended, " here is 
 
1 
 
 98 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 our itinorarv C 
 
 «kes to Sw,-t.eria„.J, «„d so o„ w"; "' *''™"^"' "'« 
 K we «/,omW meet again T ,1 v " "'''' '•^"'"""•ow. 
 
 it personally, but I'J] see^vhlt ^'■"""'* '" ""<''^«'"'« 
 
 "liat momma can do." 
 
 il ! 
 
3ugh the 
 morrow, 
 itlertake 
 
 ! 
 
 il 
 
Breakfast with Dicky Dod. 
 
■ II ap ■ifT'v^^vii t^wri 
 
 CHAPTER VITI. 
 
 4 
 
 Poppa said as wo stoaiiUMl f)ut of Paris that night 
 that the Prosidoiicv itself would not induce him to reside 
 there, and 1 think he meant it. I don't know whether 
 the omnibus tiumeros and the vorrcsponddiivcx where 
 you change, or the men sitting staring (tn the side walks 
 drinking things for hours at a time, or getting no vege- 
 tables to speak of with his joint, annoyed him most, 
 but he was very decided in his views. Momma and I 
 were not (juite so certain; we had a guilty sense of 
 ingratitude when we thought of the creations in the 
 van; but the cobblestones biassed monuna a good deal, 
 who hoped she should get some sleeji in Italy. 1 had 
 breakfasted that morning in the most amusing way with 
 Dicky Dod at a cafe in the Champs Elysees — poppa and 
 monuna had an engagement with ]\[r. and Mrs. !A[alt 
 and couhln't come — and in the leniency of the recollec- 
 tion I said something favourable about the Arc de Tri- 
 omphe at sunset; but I gathered from the S(Miator's 
 remarks that, while the sunset was fine enough, he didn't 
 sec the propriety in using it that way as a background 
 for Xapoleon Bonaparte, so to speak. 
 
 " Result is," said the Senator, '' the intelligent for- 
 
 99 
 
I i^wjv> fi^^i. ■H(YwwtP»SW^ppijpHi» 
 
 100 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 eigner's got protty nearly to go out of the town to see 
 a sunset without having to think about Aboukir and 
 Alexandria. JJut that's Paris all over. There isn't a 
 street, or a public building, or a statue, or a fountain, 
 or a thing that doesn't shout at you, * Look at nie! 
 Think about nie! Your admiration or vour life! * 
 Those Frenchmen don't mind it because it only repeats 
 what they're always saying themselves, but if you're 
 a foreigner it gets on your nerves. That city is too uni- 
 formly fine to be of much use to me — it keeps me all 
 the time wondering why I'm not in one eternal good 
 humour to match. There's good old London now — 
 always looks, I should think, just as you feel. Looks like 
 history, too, and change, and contrast, and the different 
 varieties of the human lot." 
 
 *' I see what you mean, poppa," I said. " There's 
 too much equality in Paris, isn't there — to be interest- 
 ing," but the Senator was too deeply engaged in getting 
 out momma's smelling salts to corroborate this interpre- 
 tation. 
 
 It is a very long way to Genoa if you don't stop at 
 Aix-les-Bains or anywhere — twenty-four hours — but 
 Mont Cenis occurs in the night, which is suitable in a 
 tunnel. There came a chill through the darkness that 
 struck to one's very marrow, and we all rose with one 
 accord and groped about for more rugs. When broad 
 daylight came it was Savoy, and we realised what we 
 had been through. The Senator was inclined to deplore 
 missing the realisation of the Mont Cenis, and it was 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 101 
 
 oiilv wlion iiiuiimia said it was a pitv he hadn't taken 
 a train that would have brought us through in the (hiy- 
 tinie and enahk'd him to examine it, that he eeased to 
 express regret. My parents are often vehiek's of phi- 
 loso[)liy for eaeh other. 
 
 Jk'si<U's, in the eourse of the morning tlie Senator 
 aeknowledged tluit he got more tunnels than he had 
 any idea he had paid for. They eame with a preci})!- 
 taney that interfered innnenselv with anv eonneeted 
 idea of the scenery, though monrnia, in my interest, did 
 her best to form one. " Note, uiy love," she said, as we 
 began to penetrate the frontier country, " that majestic 
 blue summit on the horizon to the left " — obliteration, 
 and another tunnel! ^^Don^t miss that jagged line of 
 snows just beyond the back of po])pa's head, dear one. 
 (^uick! they are melting away! " — but the next tunnel 
 was ([uicker. '" Put down that the dazzling purity of 
 these lovely peaks must be realised, for it cannot be " — 
 darkness, and the blight of another tunned. It was very 
 hard on momma's imagination, and she finally accepted 
 the Senator's warning that it would be thrown com- 
 pletely out of gear if she went on, and abandoned the 
 attempt to form complete sentences between tunnels. 
 It was much simpler to exclaim *' Splendid! " or " Glori- 
 ous! " which one could generally do without being in- 
 terrnj)ted. 
 
 We were not prepared to enjoy anytliing when we 
 arrived at Genoa, but there was Christopher Columbus 
 in bronze, just outside the station in a little place by 
 
102 
 
 A VOYAOE OF CONSOLATION, 
 
 liiiiisclf, ami wo felt boniul to j^ivc liiia our attention 
 before we went any turtlier. lie was patting' Americii 
 on tlie head, hoth of them life size, and earrvinj; on that 
 historieal argument with his sailors in has-relief below; 
 and he looked a very iine eharacter. As |)o|)))a said, he 
 was just the man you would i)i('k out to discover Ameri- 
 ca. The Si'uator also remarked that vou could see from 
 the position of the statue, rij;ht tliere in full view of 
 the travelling' pid)lic, that the Genoese thoji^ht a lot 
 of Cohnnbus; relied u])on him, in fact, as their biggest 
 attraction, ^fomma examined him from the carriage. 
 She said it was most gratifying to see him there in his 
 own home, so to s])eak; but her enthusiasm did not in- 
 duce her to get out. ^lomma's ])atriotisni has always 
 to be considered in connection with the state of her 
 nerves. 
 
 'J'he state of all our nerves was healed in a quarter of 
 an hour. The Senator showed his couj)ons somewhat 
 truculently, but they were received as things of price 
 with disarming bows and real gladness. Wc were led 
 through rambling passages into lofty white chambers, 
 with marble floors and iron bedsteads, full of simplicity 
 and cleanliness, Avhere we removed all recollections of 
 Paris without being obliged to consider a stuffy carpet 
 or satin-covered furniture. Italy, in the persons of the 
 portier and the chambermaid, laid hold of us with in- 
 telligible smiles, and we were charmed. Inside, the 
 place was full of long free lines and cool polished sur- 
 faces, and pleasant curves. Outside, a thick-fronded 
 
^^^i^" 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CoXSOLATION. 
 
 103 
 
 palm swayed in tlic evening wind against a cliiuhmj^ 
 hill of niany-rint<'d, nianv-windowcd houses, in all the 
 soft eolonrs we knew of before. When the portlrr ad- 
 dressed nioninia as " Siunura " her en}) <d' bliss ran over, 
 and she made nj) her mind that she felt able, after all, 
 to go down to dinner. 
 
 Kemembering their sentiments, we bowed as slightly 
 as possible when we saw the Miss Hinghams across the 
 table, and the Senator threw that into his voice, as he 
 in(piired how thev liked la Jh-IIc Ildllr so far,and whether 
 they had had any tronble with their trnnks coming in, 
 which might have given them to understand that his 
 politeness was very i)erfnnctorv. If they perceived it, 
 they allowed it io intlnence them the other way, how- 
 ever. Thev asked, almost as cordiallv as if we were 
 middle-class English })eo])le, v/hether we had actually 
 survived that trip to Versailles, jind forbore to comment 
 ■when we said we had enjoyed it, beyond saying that if 
 there was <me enviable thing it was the American capa- 
 city for pleasure. Yet one could see quite ])Iainly that 
 the vacuum caused bv the absence of the American 
 capacity for pleasure was filled in their ease by some- 
 thing very superior to it. 
 
 " This city new to you? " asked the Senator as the 
 meal progressed. 
 
 " In a sense, yes," replied Afiss Xancy Bingham. 
 
 " We've never studied it before," said Aliss Cora. 
 
 " I suppose it has a fascination all its own," re- 
 marked momma. 
 
104 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 " Oh, ratlior! " exclaimed ^liss Xancy Binglmm, 
 and 1 reflected that when she was in England she must 
 have seen a great deal of school-boy society. I decided 
 at once, noting its effect upon the lips of a middle-aged 
 maiden lady, that momma must not be allowed to pick 
 up the ex})ression. 
 
 " It's simply full of associations of old families — 
 the Dorias, the Pallavicinis, the Durazzos," remarked 
 Miss Cora. " Do you gloat on the mediieval? " 
 
 *' We're perfectly prepared to," said the Senator. 
 " I believe we've got both Murray and Baedeker for 
 this place. Now do you connnit your facts to memory 
 before going to bed the night previous, or do you learn 
 them up as you go along? " 
 
 " Oh," said Miss Xancy Bingham, " we are of the 
 opinion that one should always visit these places with 
 a mind prepared. Though I myself have no objection 
 to carrying a guide-book, provided it is covered with 
 brown paper." 
 
 " Then you acquire it all beforehand," commented 
 the Senator. " That, T must say, is commendable of 
 you. And it's certainly the only business-like way of 
 proceeding. The amount of time a person loses fooling 
 over Baedeker on the spot " 
 
 " One of us does," acknowledged Miss Xancy. ^' We 
 take it in turns. And I must say it is generally my 
 sister." And she turned to Miss Cora, who blushed 
 and said, " How can you, Xancy! " 
 
 " And you use her, for that particular public build- 
 

 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 105 
 
 ing or historic scene, as a sort of portable, self-acting 
 reference library," remarked j)oppa. " That's an idea 
 that commends itself to me, daughter, in connection 
 with you." 
 
 I was about to reply in terms of deprecation, when 
 a confusion of sound drifted in from the street, of arriv- 
 ing cabs and expostulating voices. The ^liss Binghama 
 looked at each other in consternation and said with one 
 accord, " It was the Fulda! " 
 
 " \Vas it? " inquired poppa. " Do you refer to the 
 German Lloyd steamship of that name i " 
 
 "' We do," said Miss Xancy. " About an hour ago 
 we were sure we saw her steaming into the harbour." 
 
 " She comes from Xew York, I suppose," momma 
 remarked. 
 
 " She does indeed," said !Miss Xancy, " and she's 
 been lying at the docks unloading Americans ever since 
 she arrived. And here they are. Cora, have you fin- 
 ished?" 
 
 Cora said she had, and without further parley the 
 ladies rose and rustled away. Their invading fellow- 
 countrymen gratefully took their jilaces, and the Senator 
 sent a glance of scorn after them strong enough to make 
 them turn round. After dinner, we saw a collection 
 of cabin trunks and valises standing in the entrance 
 hall labelled BIXGHAM, and knew that Miss X^'ancy 
 and Miss Cora were again in flight before the Xemesis 
 of the x\merican Eagle. I will not repeat poppa's senti- 
 ments. 
 
 ^I^^^r 
 
106 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 On the hotel doorstep next morning waited Ales- 
 sandro Bebbini. lie waited for us- -an hour and a half, 
 because momma had some re-packing to do and we were 
 going on next day. Xobody had asked him to wait, but 
 he had a carriage ready and the look of having been 
 ordered three months previously. lie presented his card 
 to the Senator, who glanced at him and said, " Do I 
 look as if I wanted a shave? " 
 
 Alessandro Bebbini smiled — an olive flash of pity 
 and amusement. '^ I make not the shava, Signore," he 
 said, " I am the courier — for your kind dispositione I 
 am here." 
 
 " You should never judge foreigners by their appear- 
 ance, Alexander," rebuked momma. 
 
 " Well, Mr. Bebbini," said the Senator, " I guess 
 I've got to apologise to you. You see they told me in- 
 side there that I should probabh' find a — a tonsorial 
 artist out here on the steps " — poppa never minds tell- 
 ing a story to save people's feelings. " But you haven't 
 convinced me," he continued, " that I've got any use 
 for a courier." 
 
 '^ You wish see Genoa — is it not? " 
 
 " AVell, yes," replied the Senator, " it is." 
 
 *' Then with me you come alonga. I will translate 
 you the city — shoppia, pallass — w'at you like. Also I 
 am not dear man neither. In the season yes. Then I 
 am verv dear. But now is nobodv." 
 
 "What does your time cost to buy?" demanded 
 poppa. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 107 
 
 " Very cheap price. Two francs one lionr. Ten 
 francs one dav. But if with voii 1 travel, make arran^i- 
 mento, you und'stan', look for traina — 'otel, higlk'lloy 
 harjagl'ui — then I am so little you laugh. Two 'undred 
 franc the month! " and Alessandro indicated with everv 
 muscle of his body the amazement he expected us to 
 feel. 
 
 The Senator turned to the ladies of his family. 
 " Xow that 1 think of it," he said, " travels in Italy 
 are never written without a courier. People wouldn't 
 believe thev were authentic. And Brandev said if vou 
 really wanted to eniov yourself it was follv not to en- 
 gage one." 
 
 " I suppose there's more choice in the season," 
 said momma, glancing disapprovingly at Alessandro's 
 swarthy collar. " And I confess I should have expected 
 them to be garbed more picturesquely." 
 
 " Look at his language," I remarked. '' You can't 
 have everything." 
 
 The Senator said that was so. " I believe you can 
 come along, Mr. Bebbini," he said; "we're strangers 
 here and we'll get you to help us to enjoy ourselves for 
 a month on the terms you name.. You can begin right 
 away." 
 
 Alessandro bowed and waved us to the carriage. It 
 was only the ordinary connnercial bow of Italy, but I 
 could see that it made a difference to momma. lie saw 
 us seated and was climbing on the box when poppa in- 
 
 I terfered. " There's no use trying to work it that way," 
 
 I 8 
 
 f- 
 
108 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 he said; " we can't ask you to twist your head off every 
 time you emit a piece of information. Besides, there's 
 no sense in your riding on the box when there's an extra 
 seat. You won't crowd us any, Mr. Bebbini, and I 
 guess we can refrain from discussing family matters 
 for one hour." 
 
 So we started, with Mr. Bebbini at short range. 
 
 " I think," said he, " you lika first off the 'ouse of 
 Cristoforo Colombo." 
 
 " I don't see how you knew," said poppa, " but you 
 are perfectly correct. Cristoforo was one of the most 
 distinguished Americans on the roll of history, and we, 
 also, are Americans. At once, at once to the habitation 
 of Cristoforo." 
 
 Alessandro leaned forward impressively. 
 
 " Who informa vou Cristoforo Colombo was Ameri- 
 cano? Better you don't believe these other guide — 
 ignoranta fella. Cristoforo was Genoa man, born here, 
 you und'stan'? Italiano. Only live in America a lill' 
 w'ile — to discover, you und'stan' ? " 
 
 " Mr. Bebbini," said poppa, " if you go around con- 
 tradicting Americans on the subject of Christopher 
 Columbus your business will decrease. As a matter of 
 fact, Christopher wasn't born, he was made, and America 
 made him. He has every right to claim to be considered 
 an American, and it was a little careless of him not to 
 have founded a family there. We make excuses for him 
 — it's quite true he had very little time at his disposal 
 • — but we feel it, the whole nation of us, to this day." 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 109 
 
 of 
 
 Tlic Via lialbi was cheerfully crooked and crowded, 
 it had the modern note of the street car, and the medi- 
 aeval one of old women, arms akimbo, in the nooks and 
 recesses, selling" big' black cherries and bursting figs. 
 Even the old women though, as monmia complained, 
 wore postilion bascjues and bell skirts, certainly in an 
 advanced stage of usefulness, Imt of unmistakable gene- 
 sis — just what had been popular in Chicago a year or two 
 before. 
 
 *' Ileal ly, my love," said momma, " I don't know 
 ivhcit we shall do for description in Genoa, the people 
 seem to wear no clothes worth mentioning whatever." 
 We concluded that all the city's cJiaracteristically Italian 
 garments were in the wash; they depended in novel cut 
 and colour from everv window that did not belong to 
 a bank or a university; and sometimes, when the side 
 street was narrow and the houses high, the effect was 
 quite imposing. Poppa asked Alessandro Bebbini 
 whether they were expecting royalty or anything, or 
 whether it was like this every washing day, and we 
 gathered that there was nothing unusual about it. 
 ]iut i)oppa'said I had better mention it so that people 
 might be prepared. Personally, I rather liked the 
 display, it gave such unexpected colour and incident 
 to those high-shouldering, narrow by-ways we looked 
 down into from the upper level of the Via Balbi, 
 where only here and there the sun strove through, 
 and all the rest was a rich toned mystery; but 
 there may be others like momma, who prefer the 
 
^ .... , ;, 
 
 110 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 clothes line of the Occident and the ])rivacy of the hack 
 yard. 
 
 The two sides of the Via Poverina almost touched 
 foreheads. " Yes," said Alessandro Bebbini apolo- 
 getically, " it is a rer' tight street.' 
 
 Popjja was extremely pleased with the appearance of 
 the house of Christopher Columbus, which Alessandro 
 pointed out in the Via Assorotti. It w^as a comfortable 
 looking edifice, with stone giants supporting the arch 
 of the doorway, in every respect suitable as the residence 
 of a retired navigator of distinction. Poppa said it was 
 very gratifying to find that Cristoforo had been able, 
 in his declining years, when he was our only European 
 representative, to keep his end up with credit to 
 America. 
 
 You so often found the former abodes of glorious 
 names with a modern rental out of all proportion with 
 their historic interest. This house, poppa calculated, 
 would let to-day at a figure discreditable neither to Cris- 
 toforo himself, nor to the United States of America. 
 Mr. Bebbini, unfortunately, could not tell him what 
 that figure was. 
 
 On the steps of San Lorenzo Cathedral momma 
 paused and cast a searching glance into all the corners. 
 
 " AVhere are the beggars? " she inquired, not with- 
 out injury. " I have always been given to understand 
 that church entrances in Italy were disgracefully 
 thronged with beggars of the lowest type. I have never 
 seen a picture of a sacred building without them! " 
 
f 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 Ill 
 
 " So that was why you wanted so iiuich small change, 
 Anp:usta," said the Senator. " Mr. Behbini says tliere's 
 a hiw ap;ainst them nowaihiys. Xow that you mention 
 it, I'm disappointed tlierc too. jMunieipal progress in 
 Italy is something you've not prepared for somehow. 
 I daresay if we oidy knew it, they're thinking of light- 
 ing this town with eleetrieity, and the Board of Alder- 
 men are considering contracts for cable cars." 
 
 '" Do not inquire, Alexander," begged momma, but 
 the Senator had fallen behind with Mr. Bebbini in 
 earnest conversation, and we gathered that its import 
 was entirely modern. 
 
 It was our first Italian church and it was impressive, 
 for a President of the French Republic had just fallen 
 to the knife of an Italian assassin, and from the altar 
 to the door San Lorenzo was in mourning and in pen- 
 ance. Classes for his soul's repose had that day been 
 said and sung; near the door hung a re(]uest for the 
 prayers of all good Christians to this end. Many of the 
 grave-eyed people that came and went were doubtless 
 about this business, but one, I know, was there on a pri- 
 vate errand. lie prayed at a chapel aside, kneeling on 
 the floor beside the railings, his cap in his hands, grasp- 
 ing it just as the peasant in The Angelus grasps his. In- 
 side the altar hung a picture of a pitying woman, and 
 there were candles and foolish flowers of tinsel, but 
 beside these, many tokens of hearts, gold and silver, 
 thick below the altar, crowding the partition walls. 
 The hearts were grateful ones — Alessandro explained 
 
 -^ 
 
112 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 in an iindcr-tonc — brouglit and loft by many who had 
 been preserved from violent death by the saint there, 
 and he who knelt was a workman just from hospital, 
 who had fallen, with his son, from a buildingr. The boy 
 had been killed, the father only badly hurt. Ilis heart 
 token was the last — a little common thing — and tied 
 with no rejoieeful ribbon but with a scrap of crape. I 
 hoped Heaven would see the crape as well as the tribute. 
 When we went away he was still kneeling in his patched 
 blue cotton clothes, and as the saint had verv beautiful 
 
 7 t.' 
 
 kind eyes, and all the tinsel flowers were standing in 
 the glowing light of stained glass, and the voice of the 
 Church had begun to speak too, through the organ, I 
 daresay he went away comforted. 
 
 Momma says there is only one thing she recollects 
 clearly about San Lorenzo, and that is the Chapel of 
 St. John the Baptist. This does not remain in her mem- 
 ory because of the Cinquecento screen or the altar- 
 canopy's porphyry pillars which we know we must have 
 seen because the guide-book says they arc there, but 
 because of the fact that Pope Innocent the Eighth had 
 it closed to our sex for a long time, except on one day 
 of the year, on account of Herodias. Momma considered 
 this extremely invidious of Innocent the Eighth, and said 
 it was a thing no man except a Pope would have thought 
 of doing. What annoyed poppa was that she seemed 
 to hold Alessandro Bebbini responsible, and covered 
 him with reproaches, in the guise of argument, which 
 he neither deserved nor understood. And when poppa 
 
 
¥ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 113 
 
 su£^g08tc(l that she was probably as mnch to blame for 
 Ilcrodias's coiKliK't as ^Ir. Bebbini was for tlie Pope's, 
 she said that had nothing whatever to do with it, and she 
 thanked Heaven she was born a Protestant anyway, 
 distinctly implying that llerodias was a Roman Catho- 
 lic. And if poppa didn't wish her back to give out alto- 
 gether, would he please return to the carriage. 
 
 We wandered through a palace or two and thought 
 how interesting it nuist have been to be rich in the days 
 of " Sir Horatio Palavasene, who robbed the Pope to 
 pay the (^ueen." Wealth had its individuality in those 
 days, and expressed itself with truth and splendour in 
 sculpture, and picture, and tapestry, and precious things, 
 with the picturesqueness of contrast and homage. As 
 the Senator said, a banquet hall did not then suggest 
 a Fifth Avenue hairdresser's saloon. But now the Geno- 
 ese merchant-princes would find that their state had lost 
 its identity in machine made imitations, and that it 
 would be more distinguished to, be poor, since poverty 
 is never counterfeited. But poppa declined to go as 
 far aa that. 
 
 Alessandro, as we drove round and up the winding 
 roads that take one to the top of Genoa — the hotels and 
 the palaces and the churches are mostly at the bottom — 
 was full of joyous and rapid information. Especially 
 did he continue to be communicative on the subject of 
 Christopher Columbus, and if we are not now assured 
 of the school that discoverer attended in his youth, and 
 the altar rails before w^hich he took the first communion 
 
114 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 of his early manhood, and tlie occupation of liis wife's 
 parents, and many other matters concerning;- him, it is 
 tlie fault of history and not that of Alessandro iiehhini. 
 After a cathedral and a palace and a long drive, this 
 was hound to have its effect, and I very soon saw re- 
 sentment in the demeanour of both my i)arentf;. So 
 much so, that when we passed the family ^rouj) in mem- 
 ory of Mazzini, and Alessandro explained dramatically 
 that " the daughter he sitta down and cryo because his 
 father is a-dead," poppa said, ^' Is that so? " without the 
 faintest show of excitement, and momma 'declined even 
 to look round. 
 
 It was not until the evening, however, when we were 
 talking to some Milwaukee people, that we remembered, 
 with the assistance of Baedeker and the Milwaukee 
 people, a number of facts about Columbus that deprived 
 Alessandro's information of its commercial value, while 
 leaving his ingenuity, so to speak, at par. The Senator 
 was so much annoyed, as he had made a special note 
 of the state of preservation in which he had found the 
 dwelling of our discoverer, that he had recourse to the 
 most unscrupulous means of relieving us of Alessandro 
 — who was to present himself next morning at eleven. 
 He wrote an impulsive letter to " A. Bebbini, Esq.," 
 which ran: 
 
 " Sir : I find that we are too credulous a family to 
 travel in safety with a courier. When you arrive at the 
 hotel to-morrow, therefore, you will discover that we 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 115 
 
 liavo fl('<l l)y an earlier train. We take it from no per- 
 sonal ol)je<'tion to your society, hut from a rooted and 
 un('on(iueral)le objection to hrass facts. I <'m'lose your 
 month's salary and a warning- that any attempt to follow 
 me will he fruitless and expensive. 
 
 '' Yonrs truly, 
 
 ''J. P. Wick." 
 
 ,■,«■ 
 
 n 
 
 The Senator assured mc afterwards that this was 
 absolutely necessary — that A. IJehbini, if we introduced 
 him in any quantity, would ruin the sale of our work, 
 and if he accom})anied us it would be impossible to 
 keep him out. lie said we ought to apologize for having 
 even mentioned him in a book of travels which we hope 
 to see taken seriously. And we do. 
 
 ; we 
 
CIIAPTKR TX. 
 
 Momma wislios mo to atnto tliat tlio word Ttalv, in 
 nny li>n^nap;o, will for ovor bo nssociatod in lior mind 
 witli tlio ionrnrv from (Jonoa to Pisa. Wo liad our own 
 lunch basket, so no banofnl anticipation of cutlets fried 
 in olive oil marred the perfect satisfaction with which 
 we looked out of the windows. One window, almost the 
 whole way, opened on a low embankment which seemed 
 a pirden wall. Olives and lemon trees grew beyond it 
 and droppeil over, and it was always dipping in the sun- 
 light to show us the roses and the shady walks of the 
 villas inside, white and remote; now and then we saw 
 the pillared end of a verandah or a plaster Neptune 
 ruling a restricted fountain area. Out of the other win- 
 dow stretched the blue Gulf of Genoa all becalmed 
 and smiling, with freakish little points and headlines, 
 and here and there the white blossom of a sail. The 
 Senator counted eighty tunnels — he wants that fact 
 mentioned too — some of them so short that it was like 
 shutting one's eyes for an instant on the olives and the 
 sea. Nevertheless it was an idyllic journey, and at four 
 o'clock in the afternoon we saw the Leaning Tower from 
 
 afar, describing the precise angle that it does in the illus- 
 
 113 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 117 
 
 , in 
 
 lind 
 
 own 
 
 iried 
 
 liich 
 
 t the 
 
 ^nied 
 
 nd it 
 
 snn- 
 tlie 
 saw 
 uiie 
 win- 
 nied 
 incs, 
 The 
 fact 
 like 
 [1 the 
 four 
 from 
 illus- 
 
 trntod poofjrapliies. "Moninui was charmed to rccogniso 
 it, slic l)l('W it a kiss of afhilation and acclaim, while wo 
 vet wound ahont anion^ the environs, and hail' d it 
 '* Piya! " It was as if she howed to a celebritv, with 
 the homage due. 
 
 AVhat the Senator called our attention to as we drove 
 to the hotel was the consj)icnons i)art in municipal poli- 
 tics ])laved hv that little old hrown river Arno. In most 
 jilaces the riparian feature of the landscape is not in- 
 sisted on — you have usually to go to the sid)url)s to find 
 it, hut in Pisa it is a sort of main street, with the town 
 sitting comfortably and e(]ually on each side of it look- 
 ing on. ^lomnui and I both liked the idea of a river in 
 town scenery, and thought it ndght be copied with ad- 
 vantage in America, it afforded such a good excuse for 
 bridges. Pisa's three arched stone ones made a reason 
 for settling there in themselves in our opinion. The 
 Senator, however, was against it on conservancy grounds, 
 and asked us what we thought of the population of 
 Pisa. And we had to admit that for the size of the 
 houses there weren't very many people about. The 
 Lungarno was almost empty except for desolate cab- 
 men, and they were just as eager and hospitable to us 
 and our trunks as they had been in Genoa. 
 
 In the Piazza del Dnomo we expected the Cathedral, 
 the Leaning Tower, the Baptistry, and the Campo 
 Santo. We did not expect ^Frs. Portlieris; at least, 
 neither of my parents did — I knew enough about Dicky 
 Dod not to be surprised at any combination he might 
 
^w ^^ ^'.r^'^t-fvw/^" 
 
 118 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATIOX. 
 
 offect. There they all were in the middle of the sqnaro 
 bit of meadow, apparently waiting for us, but really, 
 I have no doubt, getting an impression of the alvhi- 
 tecture as a whole. I could tell from ^Irs. Portheris's 
 attitude that she had acknowledged herself to be grati- 
 fied. Strange to relate, her gratification did not dis- 
 appear when she saw that these medijrval circumstances 
 would inconsistently compel her to recognise very mod- 
 ern American connections. She approached us quite 
 blandlv, and I saw at once that Dickv Dod had been 
 telling her that poppa's chances for the Presidency 
 
 'i were considered certain, that the Spanish Infanta had 
 
 stayed with us while she was in Chicago at the Exhibi- 
 tion, and that we fed her from gold plate. It was all 
 in Mrs. Portheris's manner. 
 
 " Another unexjx'cted meeting! " she exclaimed. 
 " My dear Mrs. AVick, yon are looking worn out! Try 
 my sal volatile — I insist! " and in the general greeting 
 
 , momma w-as seen to back violentlv awav from a long 
 
 silver b( *tle in every direction. Poppa had to interfere. 
 " If it s all the same to you. Aunt Caroline," he said, 
 " ]\[rs. Wick is quite as usual, though I think the ^Middle 
 Agedness of this country is a little trying for her at 
 this time of year. She's just a little upset this morning 
 by seeing the cook plucking a rooster down in the back- 
 yard before he'd killed it. The rooster was in great 
 affliction, you see, and the way he crowed got on mom- 
 ma's nerves. She's been telling us about it ever since. 
 But we hope it will pass off." 
 
^•f^t\u/u 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 119 
 
 ■•f 
 
 !Mrs. Porthoris expanded into tliat incvitaMe British 
 storv of tlio oiHcor wlio roportoil of certain tribes tliat 
 tliev had no manners and their cnstonis were abomina- 
 h\v, and I, at a nmte invitation from Dicky, stepped 
 aside to get the angle of the Tower from a better point 
 of view. 
 
 ]\Jr. l)od was de})resscd, so much so that he came to 
 tlie point at o>ice. " I hope yon had a good time in 
 Genoa," he said. " We shonkl have been there now, 
 only I knew we should never catch np to you if we 
 didn't skip something. So I heard of a case of cholera 
 there, and didn't mention that it was last year, (^uite 
 enough for Her Ex. I say, tiiougii — it's no use." 
 
 "Isn't itr' said I. "Are vou sure^" 
 
 " Prettv confounck^dlv certain. Tiie British lion's 
 getting there, in great shape — the brute. All the 
 widow's arranging. With the widow it's ' ]\Ir. I)od, 
 you will take care of nie, won't you^' or 'Come nc,", 
 ^fr. Dod, and tell me all about buifalo shooting on your 
 native j^rairies ' — and Mr. Dod is a rattled jay. There's 
 something about the mandate of a middle-aged British 
 female." 
 
 "I should think there was!" T said. 
 
 " Then !Araify, you see, walks in. They don't seem 
 to have much conversation — she regularly brightens 
 up when I come along and say something cheerful — 
 but he's gradually making up his mind that the best 
 isn't any too good for him." 
 
 " Perhaps we don't begin so well in America," I 
 
120 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 interrupted tlioiiglitfully. " But then, we don't develop 
 into Mrs. P.'s either." 
 
 l)ieky seemed unable to follow my line of thought. 
 " I must say," . he went on resentfully, '^ I like — well, 
 just a smell of constancy about a man. A fellow that's 
 thrown over ought to be in about the same shape as a 
 widower. But not much Maft'y. I tried to work up his 
 feelings over the American g^-l the other night — he was 
 as calm! " 
 
 "Dicky," said I, "there are subjects a man must 
 keep sacred. You must not speak to Mr. Maiferton of 
 his first — attachment again. They never do it in Eng- 
 land, except for purposes of fiction." 
 
 " Well, I worked that racket all I knew. I even 
 told him that American girls as often as not changed 
 their minds." 
 
 ^^ Richard! lie will think I — what ivill he think 
 of American girls! It was excessively wrong of you 
 to sav that — I might almost call it criminal! " 
 
 Dicky looked at me in pained surprise. " Look here, 
 Mamie," he said, " a fellow in my fix, you know! Don't 
 get excited. How am I going to confide in you unless 
 you keep your hair on! " ■ 
 
 " What, may I ask, did Mr. Maffcrton say when you 
 told him that? " I asked sternly. 
 
 " He said — now you'll be madder than ever. I won't 
 tell you." 
 
 " Mr. Dod — Dicky, haven't we been friends from 
 infancv! " 
 
' *^n VHWTJ^ WM<V 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 121 
 
 *' Played with the same rattle. Cut our teeth to- 
 gether." 
 
 " AVell then " 
 
 *' Well then," he said, " do you mind putting your 
 parasol straight^ I like to sec the person I'm talking 
 to, and besides the sun is on the other side. lie said he 
 didn't think it was a privilege that should be extended 
 to all cases." 
 
 " He did, did he? " I rejoined calmly. " That's like 
 the British— isn't it?" 
 
 " It would have made such a complication if I'd 
 kicked him," con^ ,ed Mr. Dod. 
 
 The Senator, momma, and Mrs. Portheris stood in 
 the cathedral door. Isabel and Mr. Mafferton occupied 
 the middle distance. ^Ir. ^lalferton stooped to add a 
 poppy to a slender handful of wild flowers he held out 
 to her. Isabel was looking back. 
 
 " It will be pleasant inside the Duomo," I said. 
 " Let us go on. I feel warm. I agree with you that 
 the situation is serious, Dicky. Look at those poppies! 
 When an Englishman does that you may make up your 
 mind to the worst. But I don't think anybody need 
 have the slightest respect for the affections of Mr. Maf- 
 ferton." 
 
 Inside the Duomo it was pleasant, and cool, and 
 there was a dim religious light that gave one an oppor- 
 tunity for reflection. I was so much engaged in re- 
 flection that I failed to notice the shape of the Duomo, 
 but I have since learned that it was a basilica, in the 
 
122 A VDYAOE OF CONSULATIOX. 
 
 form of a Latin cross, and was simply full of things 
 which should have claimed mv attention. Momma took 
 copious notes from which I see that the Madonna and 
 Child holy water basin was perfectly sweet, and the epis- 
 copal throne by Uervellesi in 153G was the finest piece 
 of tarsia work in the world, and the large bronze hang- 
 ing lamp by Vincenzo Possento was the object which 
 assisted Galileo to invent the oscillations of the pendu- 
 lum. The Senator was much taken with the inlaid 
 wooden stalls in the choir, the subjects were so lively. 
 He and his Aunt Caroline nearlv came to words over a 
 monkey regarding its reflection in a looking glass, done 
 with a realism which Mrs. Portheris considered little 
 short of j)rofane, but which pop})a found quite an excusa- 
 ble filip to devotions which must have been such an all 
 day business in the sixteenth century. Outside, how- 
 ever, pojipa found it difficult to approve the fac^ade. To 
 throw four galleries over the street door, he said, with no 
 visible means of getting into them or possible object 
 for sitting there, was about the most ridiculous waste 
 of building space he had yet observed. 
 
 ^' But then," said Dicky Dod, who kept his disconso- 
 late place by my side, " they didn't seem to know how 
 to waste enough in those pre-elevator days. Look at the 
 pictures and the bronzes and the marble columns inside 
 there — ten times as much as they had any use for. They 
 just heaped it up." 
 
 "That's so, Dicky, my boy," replied poppa; "we 
 could cover more ground with the money in our cen- 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 123 
 
 )ject 
 'aste 
 
 onso- 
 liow 
 the 
 side 
 
 u 
 
 we 
 cen- 
 
 tury. But you've got to rcmenibor tliat they hadn't 
 anv other wav worth nientioniiiii' of spending tlie taxes. 
 Religion, so to speak, was the boss contractor's only 
 line." 
 
 Dicky remarked that it had to be admitted he 
 worked it on the s(piare, and momma said that no doubt 
 people built as well as they knew how at that time, but 
 nothing should induce her to add her weight to the top 
 of the Leaning Tower. 
 
 " It is very renuu'kable and impressive," said mom- 
 ma, " the idea of its hanging over that way all these 
 centuries, just on the drop and never droj)ping, but wdio 
 knows that it nuiv not come down tliis verv dav! " 
 
 " ^ly dear niece, if I may call you so," remarked 
 Mrs. Portheris urbanely, '" it was thus that the builders 
 designed this great monument to stand; in its inclina- 
 tion lies the triumph of their art." 
 
 *' I can't say 1 agree with you there. Aunt ( Vu'o- 
 line," said poppa; " that tower was never meant to stand 
 crooked. It's a very serious defect, and if it happened 
 nowadays, it would justify any ^runicij)al Board in re- 
 pudiating the contract. Even those fellows, you see, 
 were too sick to i>o on with it, in everv case. Beaun 
 by Bonanus llT-l. Boiumus saw what was going to 
 happen and gave it up at the third storey. Then Bene- 
 nato had his show, got it up to four, and (piit, 1203. 
 The next architect was — let me see — AVilliam of Inns- 
 bruck. He put on a couple more, and by that time it 
 
 began to look dangerous. But nothing happened from 
 9 
 
.<^<M N!<.g«.P«IJ«.HI.I 
 
 124 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 1200 to 1350, and it struck Tomaso Pisano that nothing 
 wonkl happen. lie risked it anyhow, ran up another 
 storey, put the roof on, and came in for the credit of 
 the whole miracle. I expect Tomaso is at the bottom 
 of that idea of yours. Aunt Caroline. He would natu- 
 rally give the reporters that view." 
 
 Mrs. Portheris listened with a tolerance as badly 
 put on as any garment she was wearing. " I do not usu- 
 ally make assertions," she said when ])oppa had finished, 
 " without being convinced of the facts," and I became 
 aware for the first time that her upper lip wore a slight 
 moustache. 
 
 " Well, you'll excuse me, Aunt Caroline " 
 
 " All my life I have heard of the Leaning Tower 
 of Pisa as a feat of architecture," readied his Aunt Caro- 
 line finnly. " I do not propose to have that view dis- 
 turbed now." 
 
 " Perhaps it ivas so, my dear love," put in momma 
 deprecatingly, and Mr. Dod, with a frenzied wink at 
 poppa, called his attention to the ridiculous Pisan habit 
 of putting immovable fringed carriage-tops on cabs. 
 
 " It undoubtedly was," said Mrs. Portheris, with 
 an embattled front. 
 
 "But — Great Scott, aunt! " exclaimed poppa, reck- 
 lessly, " think what this place was like — all marsh, 
 with the sea right alongside; not four miles oif as it 
 is now. Why, you couldn't base so much as a calcula- 
 tion on it! " 
 
 " I must say," said Mrs. Portheris in severe sur- 
 
wj,««wi^««i?l,H7''»^i«wf»»' Jl,""lw,uiiiWJU»iHJ,lfimnVi 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 125 
 
 
 priso, " I knew that America bad made great advances 
 in the world of invention, but 1 did not expect to find 
 wliat looks much like jealousy of the achievements of an 
 older civilisation." 
 
 The Senator looked at his aunt, then he put his hat 
 further back on his head and cleared his throat. I 
 l)repared for the worst, and the worst would undoubt- 
 edlv have come if Dickv Dod had not suddenlv renuMU- 
 
 I, • ■ 
 
 bered having seen a man with a foreign telegram look- 
 ing for somebody in the Cathedral. 
 
 '■' It's a feat ! " reiterated ^Irs. Portheris as the Sena- 
 tor left us in pursuit of the man with the telegram. 
 
 " It's fourteen feet," cried the Senator from a safe 
 distance, ''out of the perpendicular!" and left us to 
 take the consequences. 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 
 When momma reported to me ^Irs. Portlieris's 
 proposition that we sliould make the rest of our Conti- 
 nental trip as one undivided party, I found it difficult 
 to understand. 
 
 " These sudden changes of temperature," I re- 
 marked, " are trying to the constituti(m. Why this 
 desire for the society of three unahashed Americanisms 
 like ourselves? " 
 
 " That's just what I wondered," said momma. 
 " For you can see that she is full of insular prejudice 
 against our great country. She makes no attempt to dis- 
 guise it." 
 
 " She never did," I assented. 
 
 " She said it seemed so extraordinary — quite provi- 
 dential — meeting relatives abroad in this way," mom- 
 ma continued, '^ and she thought we ought to follow 
 it up." 
 
 " Are we going to? " I inquired. 
 
 " My goodness gracious no, love! There are some 
 
 things my nerves cannot stand the strain of, and one 
 
 of them is your poppa's Aunt Caroline. The Senator 
 
 smoothed it over. He said he was sure we were very 
 
 126 
 
 
'S 
 
 "TWlr^^f^'' 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 127 
 
 much obliged, ])nt our tiiiit* was liinitcMl, and he tlioiight 
 Ave eouhl get around faster alone." 
 
 ^' AVell," I said, '* I do not unch'rstand it, unh'ss 
 Dicky has j)ersuaded her that jjoppa is to be our next 
 anibassa(h)r to St. James's." 
 
 " She was too silly about Dicky," said momma. 
 ^' She said she really was afraid, before you appeared, 
 that young ^Ir. Dod was conceiving an attachment 
 for her Isabel, whose affections lay quite in another 
 direction; but now her mind was entirely at rest. I 
 don't remend)er her words, she uses so many, but she 
 was trying to hint that poor Dicky was an admirer of 
 yours, dearest." 
 
 '' I fancy she succeeded — as far as that goes," I 
 remarked. 
 
 " AVell, yes, she made me understand \wy. So I felt 
 ol)liged to tell her that, though Dicky was a lovely 
 fellow and we were all very fond of him, anything of 
 that kind was out of the question." 
 
 "And what," I asked, 'Svas her reply to that?" 
 
 " She seemed to think I was prevaricating. She 
 said she knew what a mother's hopes and fears were. 
 They seem to take a very low view," added momma 
 austerely, " of friendship between a young man and a 
 young woman in England! " 
 
 "I should think so!" said I absent-mindedly. 
 " Dicky hasn't made love to me for three years." 
 
 ''What!'' 
 
 " Nothing, momma, dear," I replied kindly. " Only 
 
 v-A 
 
128 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I wouldn't coiitiadict ^Frs. Portlicris jiiiiiiii u\)(ni tliat 
 point, if I were you. Slio will tliiuk it so improper 
 if Dicky isn''l my admiivr, don't you scr^ " 
 
 But Mrs. I^ortlieris's desire to join our j)arty stood 
 revealed. Her constant ehaperonag'e of Dicky was get- 
 ting a little trying, and she wanted nie to rcdieve her. 
 I felt so deeply for them both, reflecting u])on the situa- 
 tion, that 1 experienced (piite a glow of virtue at the 
 thought of my promise to Dicky to stay in Jiome till his 
 party arrived. They were going to Siena — why, Mr. 
 Dod could not undertake to explain — he had never 
 heard of anything cheerful in connection with Siena. 
 
 " My idea is," said the Senator, '' that in Rome " — 
 we were on our way there — " we'll find our work cut 
 out for us. Think of the objects of interest involved 
 from Romulus and Remus down to the present Pope! " 
 
 " I should like my salts before I begin," said mom- 
 ma, pathetically. 
 
 " Over two thousand years," continued the Senator 
 impressively, " and every year you may be sure has 
 left its architectural imprint." 
 
 '' Does Baedeker say that, Senator?" I asked, with 
 a certain severity. 
 
 " ^o, the expression is entirely my own ; you may 
 take it down and use it freely. Two thousand vears of 
 remains is what we've got before us in Rome, and 
 pretty well scattered too — nothing like the convenience 
 of Pisa. I expect we shall have to allow at least four 
 days for it. That Piazza del Duomo," continued poppa, 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 120 
 
 it 
 
 t- 
 
 tlion^litfully, " seoiiia to have been laid out with a view 
 to the American tourist of the future. J]ut 1 don't sup- 
 pose that kind of forethou^lit is eoninion." 
 
 " How ex(piisite it was, that cluster of white marble 
 relics of the past on the bosom of dusky l*isa. It re- 
 minded me," said momma, poetically, " of an old maid's 
 pearls." 
 
 " I should suggest," said the Senator to me, " that 
 you make a note of that. A little sentiment won't do 
 us any harm — just a little. And they are like an old 
 maid's pearls in connection with that middle-aged, one- 
 horse little city. Or I should sav a widow's — IMsa was 
 once a bride of the sea. A grass widow's," improved 
 the Senator. " It's all meadow-land round there — did 
 you notice i " 
 
 " I did not," I said coldly; '' but, of course, if I'm 
 to call Pisa a grass widow, it will have to be. Although 
 I warn you, poppa, that in case of any critic being able 
 to arise and indicate that it is laid out in ovster beds, 
 I shall make it plain that the responsibility is yours." 
 
 AVe were speeding through Tuscany, and the vine- 
 garlanded trees in the orchards clasped hands and 
 danced along \\A\\\ us. The sky would have told us we 
 were in Italy if we had come on a magic carpet without 
 a compass or a time-table. Poppa says we are not, 
 under any circumstances, to mention it more than once, 
 but that we might as well explode the fallacy that there 
 is anything like it in America. There isn't. Our ceru- 
 lean is very beautifully blue, but in Italy one discovers 
 
130 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 l)y contrast tliat it is an iiitcllct'tual liliic, (illcd with 
 liglit, lii^li, i)rovueativ('. The sky that hondsi over Tus- 
 eaiiy is the very soul of bhie, deep, soft, intense, ini- 
 ju'iietrable — the sky that one sees in those little easual 
 bits of landscape behind the shoulders of pre-Kaphaelite 
 Saints and .Madoninis; and here and there a lake, giving 
 it back with delight, and now and then the long slope 
 of a hill, with an old yellow-walled town creeping up, 
 eastle crowned, and raggedly trimmed with olives; and 
 so manv ruins that the Senator, sununoned bv momma 
 to look at the last in view, regarded it with disparage- 
 ment, which he did not attempt to conceal. lie won- 
 dered, he said, that tlie Italian Government wasn't 
 ashamed of having such a lot of them. They might be 
 ])ictures(pie, but they weren't creditable; they gave you 
 the impression that the country was on the down grade. 
 " You needn't call my attention to any more of them, 
 Augusta," he added; " bnt if yon see any building 
 that looks like progress, now, anything that gives yon 
 the idea of modern improvements inside, I shouldn't like 
 to miss it." And he returned to the thirty-second page 
 of the Sunday New York World. 
 
 " I sometimes wish," said momma, " that I w^ere not 
 the only person in this family with the artistic tempera- 
 ment." 
 
 Sometimes wc stopped at the little yellow town^^, and 
 saw^ quite closely their queer old defences and belfrys 
 and clock towers, and gnessed at the pomegranates and 
 oleanders behind their high courtyard walls. They had 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 131 
 
 musical naiiics, vvvn in the luoutlis of the ruihvav 
 g;uar(is, wlio san^" cvci'v one of tlicni witii a high note 
 and a full octave on the syllable of stress — '* Kosign- 
 tnio! " " ('ar///iglial '' The Senator was fascinateil with 
 the spectacle of a railway guard who could express liiui- 
 8(df intelligihly, to say nothing of the charm; he spoko 
 of intro(lucing the system in the ^'nited States, but wo 
 tried it on " New York," " Washington," " Kansas 
 Citv," and it didn't seem the same. 
 
 It was at Orbatello, I think, that we made the trav- 
 elling ac(iuaintancc of the enterprising little gentleman 
 to whom momma still mvsteriouslv alludes as " il cani- 
 tano." He bowed ceremoniously as he entered the car- 
 riage and stowed the inevitable enormous valise in the 
 rfick, and his eve brightened intelligentiv as he saw wc 
 svere a family of American tourists. He wore a rather 
 seamv black uniform and a soft felt hat with cocks' 
 
 t 
 
 feathers droopin^^* over it, and a sword and a ridiculously 
 amiable expression for a man. I don't think he was f vc 
 feet high, but his moustache and his feathers and his 
 sword were out of all f)roportion. 'IMiere was i> gentle 
 trustful exuberance about him which suggested that, 
 although it was jiossibly twenty-five years since he was 
 born, his age was much less than that. Tie twirled his 
 moustache in voluble silence for ten minutes while we all 
 furtively scrutinised him with the curiosity inspired by 
 a foreigner of any size, and then with a smile of con- 
 scious sweetness he asked the Senator if he might take 
 the liberty to give the trouble to see the English news- 
 
 i: 
 
■►"I •nKmf%'n 'n.nwmiwx'^ ' 'nlW *v 
 
 132 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 paper for a few seconds only. " I should be too thank- 
 ful," he added. 
 
 ^' AVhy certainly," said poppa, much gratified. " I 
 see you spikkuni Knglisli," he added encouragingly. 
 
 " I speak — uni, .si. I have learned some — a few of 
 tliem. ]3ut O very baddili I speak them! " 
 
 " I guess that's just your modesty," said poppp 
 kindly. " But that's not an English paper, you know 
 — it's published in New York." 
 
 " Ah! " he exclaimed with enthusiasm. " That will 
 be much itnich the more pleasurable for me." His eyes 
 shout Hh feeling. " In Italy," he added with an im- 
 pidsive gesture, "" we love the American peoples beyond 
 the Londonian. AVe alwavs remember that it was an 
 Italian, Cristoforo Col " 
 
 ^' I know," said poppa. " Very nice of you. But 
 what's your reason now, for preferring Americans as 
 a nation? " 
 
 AVe saw our first Italian shrug. It is more pro- 
 longed, more sentimental than French ones. In this case 
 it expressed the direct responsibility of Fate. 
 
 " I think," he said, "" that they are more simpalica 
 — sympatheticated to us." He seemed to be unaware 
 of me, but his eye rested upon momma at this point, 
 and took her into his confidence. 
 
 " We also," said she reciprocally, " are always 
 charmed to see Italians in our country." 
 
 I wondered privately whether she was thinking of 
 hand organ men or members of the Mafia society, but 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 133 
 
 it was no opportunity to incpiiro. ^ly impression is that 
 about this time, in spite of Tuscany outside, 1 went to 
 sleep, because my next recollection is of the little Cap- 
 tain pouring Chianti out of a larue black bottle into 
 momma's jointed silver travelling cu}). I remend)er 
 thinking- when I saw that, that they must have made 
 progress. Scraps of conversation floated through my 
 waking moments when the train stopped — I heard mom- 
 ma ask him if his parents were both living and where 
 his home was. I also understood her to inquire whether 
 the Italians were domestic in their tastes or whether 
 they were like the French, who, she believed, had no Tf 
 
 home life at all. I saw the Senator put a card in his 
 pocket-book and restore it to his breast, and heard him 
 inquire whether his new Italian acipiaintance wore his 
 uniform everv dav as a matter of choice or because he 
 had to. An hour went bv, and when T finallv awoke 
 it was to see momma sitting by with folded hands and 
 an expression of much gratification while j)oj)pa gave a 
 graphic account of the rise and progress of the American 
 baking-powder interest. '' I don't expect," said he, 
 " vou've ever heard of AVick's Electric Corn-Hour? " 
 
 '* It is mv misfortune." 
 
 " AVe sent thousands of cans to Southern Europe 
 last year, sir. Or Wick's Sublimated Soda?" 
 
 " I am stupidissimo." 
 
 " Xo, not at all. But I daresav vour momma knows 
 it, if she ever has waffles on her breakfast table. AV(dl, 
 it's been a kind of kitchen revolution. AVe began by 
 
 11 
 
 J. 
 
134 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATIOX. 
 
 making a luindred pounds a week — and couldn't always 
 get rid of it. Xow — why ihc day before I sailed we 
 sent six thousand cans to the Queen of Madagascar. I 
 hope she'll read the instructions! " 
 
 " It takes the breath. What splendid revenue must 
 be from that! " 
 
 The Senator merely smiled, and played with his 
 watch chain. " I should hate to brag," he said, but any- 
 one could see from the absence of a diamond ring on his 
 little linger that he was a person of weight in his com- 
 munity. 
 
 "Oh!" said momma, "my daughter is awake at 
 last ! Mamie, let me introduce Count Filgiatti. Count, 
 my daughter. What a pity you went to sleep, love. The 
 Count has been giving us such a delightful afternoon." 
 
 The carriage swayed a good deal as tlie Count stood 
 up to bow, but that had no effect either upon the dignity 
 or the gratification he expressed. His pleasure was quite 
 ingratiating, or would have been if he had been a little 
 taller. As it was, it was amusing, and I recognised 
 an opportunity for the study of Italian character. I 
 don't mean that I made uji my mind to avail myself of 
 it, but I saw that the opportunity was there. 
 
 " So you've been reading the New Yorh World,^^ 
 I said kindly. 
 
 " I have read, yes, two aveiiissimi. Kot more, I 
 fear. But they are also amusing, the avertissimi.^^ His 
 voice was certainly agreeably deferential, with a note of 
 gratitude. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 135 
 
 " Xow, if you wouldn't mind taking the corner op- 
 posite my daughter, Count Filgiatti," put in poppa, 
 " vou and she could talk more conifortablv, and Mrs. 
 AVick could put her feet up and get a little nap." 
 
 " I am too happy if T shall not be a trouble to Mees," 
 the Count responded, beaming. And I said, " Dear me, 
 no; how could he^" at which he very obligingly changed 
 his seat. 
 
 I hardly know how we drifted into abstract topics. 
 The Count's English was so bad that my sense of humour 
 should have confined him to the weather and the scen- 
 ery; but it is nevertheless true that about an hour later, 
 while the landsca])e turned itself into a soft, warm 
 chromo in the fading sunset, and both my ])arents 
 soundly slept, we were discussing the barrier of religion 
 to marriage between Protestants and Roman Catholics. 
 I did not hesitate to express the most liberal senti- 
 ments. 
 
 " Since there are to be no marriages in heaven," I 
 said, " what difference can it make, in nuirried life, how 
 people get there ^ " 
 
 " The signor and signora think also so? " 
 
 " Oh, I daresay jmppa and momma have got their 
 own opinions," I said, " but that is mine." 
 
 " You do not think as thev! " he exclaimed. 
 
 " I don't know what they think," I explained. " I 
 haven't asked them. But I've got my own thinker, you 
 know." I searched for simple expressions, and I seemed 
 to make him understand. 
 
 i 
 
I I 
 
 ! I 
 
 I 1 
 
 136 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 " So! Then this prejudice is dead fpr you, Senorita 
 
 " I like ' Senorita ' best," I said. " I believe it 
 is." At that moment I divined that he was a Koman 
 Catholic. How, I don't know. So I added, '' But 
 I've never had the slightest reason to give it a 
 thought." 
 
 " That must be," he said softlv, " because you never 
 met, Senorita — may I. say tliis? — one single gentleman 
 w'at is Catholic." 
 
 '' That's rather clever of you," I said. " Perhaps 
 that IS whv." 
 
 The Italian character struck me as having interest- 
 ing phases, but I did not allow this impression to appear. 
 I looked indifferently out of the window. Italian sun- 
 sets are very becoming. 
 
 '' The signora, your mother, has told mo that you 
 have no brothers or sisters, Mees Wick. She made me 
 the confidence — it was most kind." 
 
 " There never has been any secret about it, Count." 
 
 " Then you have not even one? " Count Filgiatti's 
 eyes were full of melancholy sympflchy. 
 
 " I think," I said with coldness, " that in a matter 
 of that kind, momma's word should hardly need cor- 
 roboration." 
 
 "Ah, it is sad! With me what difference! Can 
 you believe of eleven? And the father with the saints! 
 And I of course am the eldest of all." 
 
 " Dear me," I said, " what a responsibility! " 
 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 137 
 
 " All, you recognise ! you understand the — the ne- 
 cessities, yes? " 
 
 At that moment the train stopped at Civita Vecchia, 
 and the Senator awoke and put his hat on. " The Eter- 
 nal City," he remarked when he descried that the name 
 of the station was not Kome, " aj)pears to have an eter- 
 nal railway to match. There seems to be a feeding 
 counter here though — we might have another try at 
 those slices of veal boiled in tomatoes and smothered 
 with macaroni that they give the pilgrim stranger in 
 these parts. You may lead the world in romance. Count, 
 but you don't put any of it in your railway refresh- 
 ments." 
 
 As we passed out into the smooth-toned talkative 
 darkness, Count Filgiatti said in my ear, " Mistra and 
 Madame Wick have kindly consented to receive my visit 
 at the hot d to-morrow. Is it agreeable to you also that 
 I come? " 
 
 And I said, " Why, certainly! " 
 
 
 I 
 
CHAPTER XI. 
 
 i I 
 
 i ! 1 
 
 I 
 
 I I 
 
 AVe descended next morning to realise how original 
 we were in being in the plains of Italy in July. The 
 Fulda people and the Miss Binghams and Mrs. Portheris 
 had prevented our noticing it before, but in the Hotel 
 Mascigni, Via del Tritone, we seemed to have arrived 
 at a point of arid solitude, which gave poppa a new and 
 convincing sense of all he was going through in pursuit 
 of Continental culture. We sat in. one corner of the 
 " Sala di mangiari " at a small square table, and in all 
 the length and breadth and sumptuousness of that mag- 
 nificent apartment — Italian hotel dining-rooms are al- 
 ways florid and palatial — there was only one other little 
 square table with a cloth on it and an appearance of 
 expectancy. The rest were heaped with chairs, bottom 
 side up, with their legs in the air; the chandeliers were 
 tied up in brown holland, and through a depressed and 
 exhausted atmosphere, suggestive of magnificent occa- 
 sions temporarily in eclipse, moved, with a casual lan- 
 guid air, a very tall waiter and a very short one. At 
 mysterious exits to the rear occasionally appeared the 
 form of the chef exchanging plates. It was borne in 
 upon one that in the season the chef would be remanded 
 
 to the most inviolable seclusion. 
 
 138 
 
> i j mm 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 139 
 
 in 
 cd 
 
 " Do you suppose Pompeii will be any worse than 
 this? " inquired the Senator. 
 
 " Talk about Americans pervading the Continent," 
 he continued, casting his eye over the surrounding deso- 
 lation. " Where are they? I should be glad to see them. 
 Great Scott! if it comes to that, I should be glad to see 
 a blooming Englishman! " 
 
 It wasn't an answer to prayer, for there had been 
 no opportunity for devotion, but at that moment the 
 door opened and admitted Mr., Mrs., and Miss Emme- 
 line Malt, and Miss Callis. The reunion was as rapt 
 as the Senator and Emmeline could make it, and cordial 
 in every other respect. Mr. ^lalt explained that they 
 had come straight through from Paris, as time was be- 
 ginning to press. 
 
 ^' AVe couldn't leave out Rome," he said, '" on ac- 
 count of ]Mis' Malt's mother — she made such a point of 
 our seeing the prison of Saint Paul. In her last letter 
 she w^as looking forward very anxiously to our safe re- 
 turn to get an account of it. She's a leader in our ex- 
 perience meetings, and I couldn't somehow make up 
 my mind to face her without it." 
 
 " Poppa," remarked Ennueline, " is not so foolish 
 as he looks." 
 
 " AVe were just wondering," exclaimed momma, 
 " who that table was laid for. But we never thought 
 of yon. Isn't it strange? " 
 
 AVe agreed that it was little short of marvellous. 
 
 The tall waiter strolled up for the commands of the 
 10 
 
 
 r j 
 
 il 
 
I ^i/if^r^^^ 
 
 140 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 
 ^falt i)nrty. Tlis dcinoanoiir sliowcd tluit lie roscntcd 
 tlie Plaits, who \v(m*o, iicvcrthcloss, innocent respectable 
 people. As Eninieline ordered '' cafv an hi it pour luus,'' 
 he scowled and made curious contortions with his lower 
 jaw. ''Anything else you want^" he in(iuired, with 
 obvious annoyance. 
 
 " Yes," said Miss Callis. He further expressed his 
 contempt by twisting his moustache, and waited in silent 
 disdain. 
 
 " I want," said ^liss Callis sweetly, leaning forward 
 with her chin artlessly poised in her hand, '' to know if 
 you are paid to make faces at the guests of this hotel." 
 
 There was laughter, above which Emmeline's crow 
 rose loud and clear, and as the waiter hastened away, 
 suddenly transformed into a sycophant, poppa remarked, 
 " I see you've got those hotel tickets, too. Let me give 
 you a little pointer. Say nothing about it until next day. 
 They are like that sometimes. In being deprived of 
 the opportunity of swindling us, they feel that they've 
 been done themselves." 
 
 " Oh," said Mr. ]\ralt, " we uever reveal it for 
 twenty-four hours. That fellow must have smelled 'em 
 on us. Xow, how were you proposing to spend the 
 day?" 
 
 " We're going to the Forum," remarked Emmeline. 
 " Do come with us, Mr. Wick. We should love to have 
 you." 
 
 " We mustn't forget the Count," said momma to 
 the Senator. 
 
i|: 
 
 "Arc you paid to ni.iUc faces?" 
 
 to 
 
! ' I 
 
 ! I 
 
 i 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 141 
 
 "What Counts" EininolinL' iiKiuiivtl. '^ Did you 
 ever, inoinina! -Mis' Wick knows a count. She's been 
 smarter tlian wc have, hasn't she(f Introduce him to us, 
 Mis' Wick." 
 
 " Knnneline," said lier mother severely, " vou arc 
 as personal as ever you can be. 1 don't know whatever 
 Mis' Wick will think of vou." 
 
 " She's merely full of intelligent curiosity, Mis' 
 Malt," said ^Ir. Malt, who seemed to be in the last stage 
 of infatuated parent. '' I know you'll excuse her," ho 
 added to momma, who said with rather frigid emphasis, 
 " Oh yes, we'll excuse her." But the liint was lost and 
 Emmeline remained. Poppa looked in his memoran- 
 dum book and found that the Count was not to arrive 
 until 3 p. M. There was, therefore, no reason why we 
 should not accompany the Malts to the Forum, and it 
 was arranged. 
 
 A quarter of an hour later we were rolling through 
 Rome. As a family we were rather subdued by the idea 
 that it was Rome, there was such immense significance 
 even in the streets with tramways, though it was rather 
 an atmosphere than anything of definite detail; but 
 no such impression weighed upon the Malts. They took 
 Rome at its face value and refused to recognise the un- 
 earned increment heaped up by the centuries. How- 
 ever, as we were divided in two carriages, none of us 
 had all the Malts. 
 
 It was warm and dusty, the air had a malarious 
 taste. We drove first, I remember, to the American 
 
142 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 (lru<^gist's in tlic Piazza di Spa<;Tia for some magnosia 
 Mrs. Alalt wanted for Knnncline, wlio had i)ric'kK' heat. 
 Jt was annoying to liavc one's first Ronian ini|)ressions 
 confused with Kniniehne and magnesia a? I priekly heat; 
 but Mrs. Malt a|>peared to tliink that Uonie attracted 
 visitors cliiefly hy means of tliat American druggist. 
 Slie said slie was perfectly certain we should find an 
 American dentist there, too, if we only took the time 
 to look him up. I can't say whether she took the time. 
 AVe didn't. 
 
 It was interesting, the Piazza di Spagna, because 
 that is where everybody who has read " Roba di Roma " 
 knows that the English and Americans have lived ever 
 since the days when dear old Mr. Story and the rest 
 used to coach it from Civita Vecchia — in hotels, and 
 pensions, and apartments, the people in Marion Craw- 
 ford's novels. We could only decide that the plain, 
 severe, many-storied houses with the shops underneath 
 had charms inside to compensate for their outward lack. 
 Not a tree anywhere, not a scrap of grass, only the lava 
 pavement, and the view of the druggist's shop and the 
 tourists' agency office. Miss Callis said she didn't see why 
 man should be for ever bound up with the vegetable 
 creation — it was like living in a perpetual salad — and 
 was disposed to defend the Piazza di Spagna at all points, 
 it looked so nice and expensive. But Miss Callis's tastes 
 were very distinctly urban. 
 
 That druggist's establishment was on the Pincian 
 Hill! It seemed, on reflection, an outrage. We all 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 143 
 
 looked about .s, wlicn we diseovered this, for the other 
 six, and aiiotlier of the f(»olish j^eoji^rapliical ilhisions of 
 the seliool-rooui was sliattered for each of us. The Kouie 
 
 , of uiy iuuiginatiou was as distiuetlv scveu-hilled as a 
 quadruped is four-lej:,«i'ed, the liouie 1 saw had no euii- 
 uences to speak of anywiiere. iV-rhaps, as poppa sug- 
 gested, business had moved away from the iiills and wo 
 should tind them in the suburbs, but this we were obliged 
 to leave unascertained. 
 
 Through the warm empty streets we drove and 
 looked at Rome. It was driving through time, through 
 history, through art, and going l)ackward. And through 
 the Christian religion, for we started where tlie ])illar 
 
 , of Pius IX., setting forth the doctrine of the Inunaculate 
 Conception, reaffirmed a modern dogma of the great 
 church across the Tiber; and we rattled on ])ast other 
 and earlier memorials of that church thick-built into the 
 Middle Ages, and of the Early Fathers, and of the very 
 Apostles. All heaped and crowded and over-built, solid 
 and ragged, decaying and defying decay, clinging to her 
 traditions with both hands, old Rome jostled before us. 
 Presently uprose a great and crund)ling arch and a dif- 
 ference, and as we passed it the sound of the life of the 
 city died indistinctly away and a silence grew up, with 
 the smell of the sun upon grasses and weeds, and we 
 stopped and looked down into Capsar's world, which lay 
 below us, empty. We gazed in silence for a moment, 
 and then Emmeline remarked that she could make as 
 good a Forum with a box of blocks. 
 
 
144 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " I shouldn't wonder but what you express the senti- 
 ments of all present," said her father admiringly. " Now 
 is it allowable for us to go down there and make our- 
 selves at home amongst those antique pillars, or have 
 we got to take the show in from here? " 
 
 " Xo, ^lalt," said the Senator, helping the ladies 
 out, " I can't sav I agree with vou. It's a dead citv, 
 that's what it is, and for my part I've never seen any- 
 thing so impressive." 
 
 " ]\Ir. Wick," remarked Miss Callis, " has not visited 
 Philadelphia." 
 
 " Well, for a municipal cemetery," returned ^Ir. 
 Malt, '' it's pretty uncared for. If there was any enter- 
 prise in this capital it would be suitably railed in with 
 posts and chains, and a monument inscribed * Here lies 
 Rome's former greatness " or something like that. But 
 the Italians haven't got a particle of go — I've noticed 
 that all through." 
 
 W^e went down the wooden stair, a century at a step, 
 and presently walked and talked, we seven Americans, 
 in that elder Rome that most people know so much 
 better than the one with St. Peter's and the Corso, be- 
 cause of the clinging nature of those early impressions 
 which we construe for ourselves with painful reference 
 to lists of exceptions. We all felt that it was a small 
 place to have hsd so much to say to history, and were 
 obliged to remind ourselves that we weren't h/oking at 
 the whole of it. Poppa acknowledged that his tendency 
 to compare it unfavourably, in spite of the verdict of his- 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 145 
 
 tory, with Chicago was cheeked by a smell from the 
 Cloaca Maxima, which proved that the Ancient Romans 
 probably enjoyed enteric and sewer gas ipiite as much 
 as we do, although under names that are to be found 
 only in dictionaries now. Mrs. Malt said the place sur- 
 prised her in being so yellow — she had always imagined 
 pictures of it to have been taken in the sunset, but now 
 she saw that it was perfectly natural. Acting upon Mr. 
 Malt's advice, we did not attempt to identify more than 
 the leading features, and I remember distinctly, in ccm- 
 sequence, that the temple of Castor had three columns 
 standing and the temple of Saturn had eight, while of 
 the Basilica Julia there was nothing at all but the places 
 where thev used to be. Mrs. Malt said it made her feel 
 quite idolatrous to look at them, and for her part she 
 couldn't be sorrv thev had fallen so much into decay 
 — it was only right and proper. This launched ^fr. 
 and ]Mrs. Malt and my parents upon a discussion 
 which threatened to become unwisely polemic if 
 Emmeline had not briefly decided it in favour of Chris- 
 tianity. 
 
 Momma and ^Irs. ^falt expressed a desire above all 
 things to see the temple and apartments of the Vestal 
 Virgins, which Miss Callis with some surprise begged 
 them on no account to mention in the presence of the 
 gentlemen. 
 
 " There are some things." remarked Miss Callis 
 austerely, " from which no respectable married lady 
 would wish to lift the veil of the classics." 
 
 1' 
 
 
 i\ 
 
146 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I 
 1 1 
 
 ^1 omnia was inclined to argue tlie point, but ^liss 
 Callis looked so shocked that she desisted. 
 
 "Perhaps, Mrs. Wick," she. said sarcastically, "you 
 intend to go to see the Baths of Caracallus! " 
 
 To which momma replied certaiidy not, that was a 
 very diflFerent thing. And if T am unable to describe 
 the Baths of Caracallus in this history, it is on account 
 of ^liss Callis's personal influence and the remarkable 
 development of her sense of propriety. 
 
 At momma's suggestion we walked slowly all round 
 the Via Sacra, looking steadily down at its little tri- 
 angular original paving-stones, and tried to imagine our- 
 selves the shackled captives of Scipio. If the party had 
 not consisted so largely of Emmeline the effort might 
 have been successful. Fragments of exhumed statuary, 
 discoloured and featureless, stood tijiped in rows along 
 the shorn foundations and inspired in ^[r. ^falt a serious 
 curiosity. 
 
 " The ancients," said ^Ir. ^Falt with conviction, 
 " were every l)it as smart as the moderns, meaning born 
 intelligence. Look at that ear — that ear took talent. 
 There isn't a terra-cotta factorv in the Tnited States 
 that could turn (mt a betUi ear to-dav. But thev ' idn't 
 what we call gumption, they ])ut all their capital into 
 one line of business, and you may be sure they swamped 
 the market. If they'd just done a little inventing now, 
 instead — worried out the idea of steam, or gas, or elec- 
 tricity — why Borne might never have fallen to this day." 
 And no one interfered with Mr. ^Ealt's idea that the 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 147 
 
 fall of Rome was a purely eoinniercial disaster. Doubt- 
 less it was out of regard for his feelings, but lie was 
 exactly the sort of man to compel you to prove your 
 assertion. 
 
 We found the boundaries of the first Forum of the 
 Republic, and poppa, pacing it in a soft felt hat and a 
 silk duster, offered a Senatorial contrast to history. He 
 looked round him with dignity and made the gesture 
 which goes with his most sustained oratorical flights. 
 " I wouldn't have backed up Cato in everything," he 
 said thoughtfully. " Xo. There were occasions on 
 which I should have voted against the old man, and 
 the little American school-boys of to-day would have 
 had to decline ' Mugwumpus ' in consecpience." 
 And at the thought of Caiina) and Trasimene the nine- 
 teenth century Senator from Illinois fiercely pulled 
 his beard. 
 
 AVe turned our pilgrim feet to where the Colosseum 
 wheels against the sky and gives up the world's eternal 
 supreme note of splendour and of cruelty; and along the 
 solitary dusty Appian Way, as if it were a country lane 
 of the time we know, came a ragged Roman urchin with 
 a basket. Under the triumphal arch of Titus, where his 
 forefathers jeered at the Jews in manacled procession, 
 we bargained with him for his jnirple plums. ITe had 
 the eves and the smile of immemorial Ttalv for his own, 
 and the bones of Imperial Rome in equal inheritance, 
 which he also wished to sell, by the way, in jagged frag 
 ments from his trouser pockets. And it linked up those 
 
 : { 
 
148 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 early days with that particular afternoon in a curiously 
 simple way to think that from the Ciesars to King Hum- 
 bert there has never been a year without just such 
 brown-cheeked, dark-eyed, imperfectly washed little 
 lioman boys upon the Appian Way. 
 
 1 
 
PPI wii^JP!»i.iF-F' 
 
 149 
 
 ■\\ 
 
 i 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 "VVe were too late for the hotel dejeuner, and had 
 to order iv,, I remember, d la carte. That was whv the 
 Count was kept waiting. AVe were kept waiting, too, 
 which seemed at the moment of more importance, since 
 the atmosphere of the classics had given us excellent 
 appetites. Emmeline decided upon ices and pet its fours 
 in the Corso for her party, after which they were going 
 to let nothing interfere with their inspection of the 
 prison of St. Paul; but we came back and ordered a 
 haricot. In the cavernous recesses bevond the door 
 which opened kitchen-ward, commands resounded, and 
 a quarter of an hour later a boy walked casually through 
 the dining-room bearing beans in a basket. Time went ji 
 
 on, and the Senator was compelled to send word that , 
 
 he had not ordered the repast for the following day. 
 The small waiter then made a pretence of activity, and 
 brought vinegar and salt, and rolls and water. '' The 
 peutates is notta-cooks," said he in deprecation, and we 
 were distressed to postpone the Count for those peutates. , ^ 
 
 But what else was possible? ; f 
 
 The dismaying part was that after luncheon had 
 enabled us to regard a little thing like that with equa- 
 
 I 
 
 i 
 
150 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 niinity, my parents abandoned it to nie. ^loninia said 
 she knew she was missing a great deal, but she really 
 didn't feel equal to entertaining the Count; her back 
 had given out completely. The Senator wished to at- 
 tend to his mail. With the assistance of his letters and 
 telegrams he was beginning to bear up wonderfully, and, 
 as it was just in, I hadn't the heart to interfere. " You 
 can apologise for us, daughter," said poppa, " and say 
 something polite aboi^t our seeing him later. Don't 
 let him suppose we've gone back on him in any way. 
 It's a thing uo young fellow in America would 
 think of, but with these foreigners you never can 
 tell." 
 
 I saw at once that the Count was annoyed. He was 
 standing in the middle of the salon, fingering his sword- 
 hilt in a manner which expressed the most absurd irri- 
 tation. So I said inmiediately that I was awfully sorry, 
 but it seemed so difficult to get anything to eat in Rome 
 at that time of year, that the head-waiter was really re- 
 sponsible, and wouldn't he sit down? 
 
 " I don't know what you will think of us," I went 
 on as we sliook hands. " How long have you been 
 kind enough to wait, anyw^ay? " 
 
 " Since a quarter of an hour — only," replied the 
 Count, with a difficult smile, " but now that I see you 
 it is forgotten all." 
 
 " That's very nice of you," I said. " I assure you 
 monnna was quite worked up about keeping you wait- 
 ing. It's rather trying to the American temperament to 
 
 ill 
 
 . 
 
'^^^mmr^^^T^^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 151 
 
 l! 
 
 be obliged to order a hurried luncheon from the market- 
 gardener." 
 
 " So! In America vou have him not — the market 
 garden? You are each his own vegetabU\ Yes? All, 
 how much better than the j)Oor Italian! J>ut Mistra and 
 Madame Wick, they have not, I hope, the indisposi- 
 tion?" 
 
 " Well, I'm afraid they have, Count — something 
 like that. They said I was to ask you to excuse them. 
 You see they've been sight-seeing the whole morning, 
 and that's something that can't be done by halves in 
 your city. The stranger has to put his whole soul into 
 it, hasn't he?" 
 
 "Ah, the whole soul! It is too fatiguing," Count 
 Filgiatti assented. He glanced at me uncertainly, and 
 rose. '' Kindly may I ask that you give my deepest 
 afflictions to Mistra and Madame Wick for their 
 health?" 
 
 "Oh," I said, "if you must! But I'm here, you 
 know." I put no hauteur into my tone, because I saw 
 that it was a misunderstanding. 
 
 He still hesitated and I remembered that the 
 Filgiatti intelligence probably dated from the ^lid- 
 dle Ages, and had undergone very little alteration 
 since. " You have made such a short visit," I said. 
 " I must be a very bad substitute for momma and 
 poppa." 
 
 A flash of comprehension illuminated my visitor's 
 countenance. " I pray that you do not think such a 
 
 
 h 
 II 
 
 
 n 
 
 If 
 
 . -'-V 
 
152 A VOYAGE^OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 wronp: tiling," lie said impulsively. " If it is permitted, 
 I apiin sit down." 
 
 *' Do," said I, and lie did. Anything else would 
 have seemed ])ei'feetly unreasonable, and yet for the 
 moment he twisted his moustache, apparently in the 
 most foolish embarrassment. To put him at his ease, 
 I told him how lovely I thought the fountains. " That's 
 one of your most ideal connections with ancient his- 
 tory, don't you think i " I said. " The fact that 
 those old aqueducts of yours have been bringing down 
 the water to sparkle and ripple in Roman streets ever 
 since." 
 
 " Idealissimo! And the Trevi of Bernini — I hope 
 you threw the soldi, so that you must come back to 
 Kome!" 
 
 *' We weren't quite sure which it was," I re- 
 sponded, " so poppa threw soldi into all of them, to 
 make certain. Sometimes he had to make two or three 
 shots," and I could not help smiling at the recollec- 
 tion. 
 
 " Ah, the profusion! " 
 
 " I don't suppose they came to a quarter of a dol- 
 lar. Count. It is the cheapest of your amusements." 
 
 The Count reflected for a moment. 
 
 " Then you wish to return to Rome," he said softly; 
 "you take interest here?" 
 
 " Why yes," I said, " I'm not a barbarian. I'm from 
 Illinois." 
 
 " Then why do yoc go away? " 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 153 
 
 " Our time is so liniitod." 
 
 " Ah, Mecs AVick, you have all of your life." The 
 Italians certainly have exquisite voices. 
 
 " That is true," I said thoughtfully. 
 
 " Many young American ladies now live always in 
 Italy," pursued Count Filgiatti. 
 
 " Is that so? " I replied pleasantly. " They are 
 domiciled here with their parents? " 
 
 " Y — yes. Sometimes it is like that. And some- 
 times " 
 
 *^ Sometimes they are working in the studios. I 
 know. A delightful life it must be." 
 
 The Count looked at the carpet. " Ah, signorina, 
 you misunderstand my poor English," he said; "she 
 means quite different." 
 
 It was not coquetry which induced me to cast down 
 my eyes. 
 
 " The American young lady will sometimes contract 
 alliance." 
 
 "Oh!" I exclaimed. 
 
 " Yes. And if it is a good arrangimento it is always 
 quite quite happy." 
 
 " We are said," I observed thoughtfully, " to be 
 able, as a people, to accommodate ourselves to circum- 
 stances." 
 
 " You approve this idea ! Signorina, you are so 
 amiable, it is heavenlv." 
 
 . " I see no objection to it," I said. " It is entirely 
 a matter of taste." 
 
1! 
 
 
 154 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 " And tlio Ainoricaii ladies have mueli taste," ob- 
 served Count Filgiatti blandly. 
 
 " I'm afraid it isn't infallible," I said, " but it is 
 charming to hear it approved." 
 
 *' The Ameriean ladv comes in Italv. She is voung, 
 beautiful, with a grace — ah! And perhaps there is a 
 little income — a few dollar — but we do not speak of 
 that — it is a trifle, only to make possible the arrangi- 
 mento." 
 
 ^' I see," I said. 
 
 " The American lady is so perceiving — it is also a 
 charm. The Italian gentleman has a dignity of his. lie 
 is perhaps from a family a little old. It is nothing — the 
 matter is of the heart — but it makes possible the ar- 
 rangimento." 
 
 '' I have read of such things before," I said, " in the 
 newspapers. It is most amusing to hear them cor- 
 roborated on the spot. But that is one of the charms of 
 travel. Count Filgiatti." 
 
 The Count hesitated and a shade of indecision 
 crossed his swarthy little features. Then he added sim- 
 ply, " For me she has always been a vision, that Ameri- 
 can lady. It is for this that I study the English. I 
 have thought, ' AVhen I meet one of those so charming 
 Americans, I will do my possible.' " 
 
 I could not help thinking of that family of eleven 
 and the father with the saints. It was pathetic to feel 
 one's self a realised vision without any capacity for 
 beneficence — worse in some respects than being obliged 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 155 
 
 !!ii 
 
 to bo unkind to liopos with no financial basis. It made 
 one feel somehow so niercenarv. Hut before 1 ('oul<l 
 think of anvtliiuf!; to say — it was such a ditHcuU junc- 
 ture — the Count went on. 
 
 " I^ut in the Italian idea it is better first one thing 
 to know — the agreement of the American sign<trina. Jf 
 she will not, the Italian nobleuum is too mueh disgrace. 
 It is not good to ofl'er the name and the title if the la<ly 
 say no, 1 do not want — take that poor thing away." 
 
 How artless it was! Vet mv sympathy ebbed im- 
 mediately. Xot my curiosity, howeyer. Perhaps at 
 this or an earlier point I should haye gone blushing 
 away and foreyer pondered in secret the ))roblem of 
 Count Filgiatti's intentions. I confess that it didn't 
 cyen occur to me — it was such a little Count and so far 
 beyond the range of my emotions. Instead, I smiled 
 in a non-connnittal way and said that Count Filgiatti's 
 prudenee was most unique. 
 
 " With a friend to previously discover then it is 
 easy. But perhaps the lady will have no friends in 
 Italy." 
 
 " You would haye to be prepared for that," I said. 
 " Certainly." 
 
 " Also she perhaps rpiickly go away. The Ameri- 
 cans are so instantaneous. Maybe mv vision fade like 
 — like anything." 
 
 " In a perspective of tourists' coupons," I suggested. 
 
 For a moment there was silence, through which we 
 
 could hear the scrubbing-brush of the chambermaid on 
 11 
 
166 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 tlio inarhlc liall of the first floor. It seemed a final note 
 of desolation. 
 
 " If 1 must speak of myself bolieve nie it is not a 
 nobody the Count Filgiatti," he went on at last. *' Two 
 Cardinals I have had in mv familv and one is second 
 cousin to the Pope." 
 
 *' Fancy the Pope's having relations! " I said, *' but 
 I suppose there is nothing to prevent it." 
 
 " Nothing at all. In my family I have had many 
 ambassadors, but that was a little formcrlv. Once a 
 Filgiatti married with a Medici — but these things are 
 better for Mistra and Madame Wick to incpiire." 
 
 *' Poppa is very much interested in antiquities, but 
 I'm afraid there will hardly be time, Count Filgiatti." 
 
 " Listen, I will say all! Always they have been 
 much too large, the families Filgiatti. So now perhaps 
 we are a little reduce. But there is still somethings — 
 ah — signorina, can you pardon that I speak these things, 
 but the time is so small — there is fifteen hundred lire 
 yearly revenue to my pocket." 
 
 " About three hundred dollars," I observed sympa- 
 thetically. Count Filgiatti nodded with the smile of a 
 conscious capitalist. " Then of course," I said, " you 
 won't marry for money." I'm afraid this was a little 
 unkind, but I was quite sure the Count would perceive 
 no irony, and said it for my own amusement. 
 
 ^^ Jamais! In Italy you will find that never! The 
 Italian gives always the heart before — before— 
 
 " The arrangimento," I suggested softly. 
 
 » 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 157 
 
 *' Indeed, ves. 'J'here is also the seat of the 
 familv." 
 
 '' The seat of the iainilv," I repeated. " Oh — 
 the familv seat. Of eonrse, heiii^' a Count, you 
 have a castle. They always go together. I luid for- 
 gotten." 
 
 " A eastle I eannot sav, hut for the eountrv it is verv 
 well. It is not amusing there, in Tuseany. It is a little 
 out of repairs. Twice a year I go to see my mother 
 and all those brothers and sisters — it is enough! And 
 the Countess, my mother, has said to me tw<» hundred 
 times, ' Marrv with an Americaine, Xicco — it is mv com- 
 mand.' ' Xicco,' she calls me — it is what you call jack- 
 name." 
 
 The Count smiled deprecatingly, and looked at me 
 with a great deal of sentiment, twisting his moustache. 
 Another pause ensued. It's all very well to say I should 
 have dismissed him long before this, but I should like 
 to know on what grounds? 
 
 " I wish verv much to write mv mother that I have 
 found the American lady for a new Countess Filgiatti," 
 he said at last with emotion. 
 
 " Well," I said awkwardly, '' I hope you will find 
 her." 
 
 " Ah, Mees Wick," exclaimed the Count recklessly, 
 " you are that American lady. AVhen T saw you in the 
 railway I said, ' It is my vision 1 ' At once I desired to 
 embrace the papa. And he was not cold with me — 
 he told me of the soda. I had courage, I had hope. 
 
 ;i 
 
I 
 
 ^^nniKi II.I II «■! ipyiJi* *'^m^^^mmffi»^f^ .III Hill i^awp p.ii 
 
 15S 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I 
 
 At first wlion I sc^ voii to-dav I am a little deranffe. 
 In the Italian way 1 speak first with the papa. Then 
 came a little thought in my heart — no, it is propitious! 
 In America the daughter maka always her own arrangi- 
 menro. So 1 am spoken." 
 
 At this 1 rose luimediatelv. I would not have it 
 on mv eonseience that I toved with the matrimonial 
 proj)osition of even an Italian (,'ount. 
 
 " I think 1 understand you, Count Filgiatti," I said 
 — There is something about the most insignificant pro- 
 posal that makes one blush in a })erfe('tly absurd way. 
 I have never been able to get over it — '* and I fear I 
 must bring this interview to a close. I " 
 
 " Ah, *t is too end)arrassing for you! It is experi- 
 ence very new, very strange." 
 
 " No," I said, regaining my composure, " not at all. 
 But the fact is, ( ount Filgiatti, the transaction you pro- 
 pose doesn't appeal to me. It is too business-like to be 
 sentimental, and too sentimental to be business-like. 
 I'm sorrv to seem disobliainti-, but I rrallv couldn't 
 make up my mind to marrv a gentleman for his ances- 
 tors who are der even if he was willing to marry me 
 for my income which may disaj^pear. Poppa is very 
 speculative. But I know there's a certain percentage 
 of Americans who think a count with a familv seat is 
 
 « 
 
 about the only thing worth bringing away from Europe, 
 now that we manufacture so much for ourselves, and if 
 I meet any of them I'll bear vou in mind." 
 *'Upon my word! " 
 
 ill 1 
 
 M 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 It was ;Mrs. Portlicris, in the doorway bcliiiid 
 just arrived from Siena. 
 
 159 
 
 us. 
 
 I mentioned tlie matter to my parents, thinking? it 
 might amuse them, and it did. From a business point 
 of view, however, poppa could not help feeling a cer- 
 tain amount of synipathy for the C\)unt. " 1 hope, 
 daughter," he said, " you didn't give him the ha-ha to 
 his face." • 
 
 
 I , 
 
 i ^ 
 
CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 I A 
 
 I: • 
 
 TiiFKE is the very tendcniess of desolation upon the 
 Appinii Way. To inc it sugjicsted notliiii^- of the splen- 
 dour of liouijiu villas and tiie tra,ii('<ly <»f llyiug- Kni- 
 perors. It s[)oke only of its(df, ly'ni^ over the wide 
 silenee of thv noon-day liidds, historic (h)uhtk'ss, but 
 noon-(hiy certainly. Sonictiiinj;' lives upon the warm 
 stretches of the Appian Way, sonu'thin^- that talks of 
 the eternal and unciiani»('al»K', and yet lias the pathos 
 of the frajiincntary and tiie lost. I\'rhaj)s it is the ahost 
 of a jicnius that has failed of reincarnation, and inspires 
 the weeds and the leaf-shadows instead. Thinkinj^ of 
 it, one reniendiers only an almond tree in flower, that 
 grew beside a ruined arch by the wayside — both quite 
 alone in the sunliglit — and perhajis of a meek, young, 
 marble Cecilia, untiuestioningly pr(»strate, submissive 
 to the axe. 
 
 We were on our way to the Cata<'oml)s, monnna, the 
 Senator, and Mrs. Portheris in one carriage, K. Dod, ^Ir. 
 ^lafferton, Isalud, and I in the other. T approved of 
 the arrangement, because the mutually distant under- 
 standing that existed between ^Ir. ^rafTert<»n and me 
 
 Jiad alreadv l)een the subject of remark bv mv parents. 
 
 100 
 
1! 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 101 
 
 (" For (»1<1 London acquaintanoos you and Mr. ^lafTcr- 
 ton seem to liave vcrv little to sav to each other/' mom- 
 ma had observed that very morninj^.) It was borne in 
 ui)on me that this was absurd. People have no business 
 to be estranged for life because one of them has hap- 
 pened to propose to the other, unless, of course, he has 
 been accepted and afterwards divorced, which is quite 
 a different thing, l^esides, there was Dicky to think 
 of. I decided that there was a medium in all things, 
 and to help me to find it I wore a blouse from Madame 
 Valerie in the Hue de TOpera, which cost seven times 
 its value, and was naturally becoming. Perhaps this 
 was going to extreme measures; but he was a recalcitrant 
 Knglishman, and for Dicky's sake one had to think of 
 everything. 
 
 Knglislimen have a genius for h)oking uncomfort- 
 able. Their feelings are terribly mixed up with their 
 ])ersonal apju'arance. It was s<>me time before ^Ir. 
 ]\lafferton would consent to be even tolera!)ly at his ease, 
 though I made a distinct effort to show that 1 bore no 
 malice. It must have be«'n the mere memory of the past 
 that end)arrassed him, for tlie other two were as com- 
 ])letely unaware of his existence as they well could be 
 in the same carrijig*'. Kor a time, as I talked in com- 
 monplaces, Mr. MatTerton in monosyllables, and ^fr. 
 Dod and ^liss Portheria in regards, the most sordid real- 
 ist would have hesitated to chronicle our conversation. 
 
 " When," T inquired casually, " arc you thinking 
 of going back, ^Er. MafTerton? " 
 
 
 t >: 
 
 ft 
 
1C2 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I'} 
 s 
 
 1 . 
 
 "To town? Not before Oeto])er, I fanev! " 
 " Even in Konie," 1 observed, " London is ' town * 
 to you, isn't it^ What a curious thing insular tradition 
 
 isl" 
 
 " I suppose Rome was invented first," lie replied 
 haughtily. 
 
 " Why yes," I said; '' while the ancestors of Eaton- 
 square were running about in blue i)aint and bear-skins, 
 and Albert CI ate, in the directory, was a mere cave. 
 What do you suijjwse," 1 went on, following up this line 
 of thought, " when you were untutored savages, was 
 your substitute for the Ked Book^ " 
 
 " Keally," said this Englishman, " I haven't an idea. 
 Perhaps as you have suggested they had no addn'sses.^^ 
 
 For a moment I felt (piite de[)ressed. " Did you 
 think it was a conundrum^" I asked. "You so often 
 remind me of Punchy Mr. Alafferton." 
 
 I slKKildn't have liked anyone to say that to me, 
 but it seemed to have (piite a mollifying etl'ect upon Mr. 
 Matferton. lie smiled and pulled his moustache in the 
 way Kriiilishmen always do, when endeavouring to ab- 
 sorb a compliment. 
 
 " Dear old London," I went on reminiscently, " what 
 a funny experience it was! " 
 
 " To the Transatlantic mind," responded ^Ir. Maf- 
 ferton stiffly, *' one can imagine it instructive." 
 
 " It was a revelation to mine," I said earnestly — • 
 " a revelation." Then, remembering ^Ir. ^Fafferton's 
 somewhat painfnl connection with the revelation, I 
 
 1. 1 
 
 ! .1 I f. \\ 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 103 
 
 added carefully, '' From a historic point* of view. TIk; 
 Tower, you know, and all that." 
 
 . " Ah ! " said ^Ir. Matierton, with a distant eye upon 
 the Campagna. 
 
 It was really verv difficult. 
 
 " Do vou remember the day we went to Madame 
 Tussaud's^ " 1 asked. Perha})s my intonation was a 
 little dreamy. " 1 shall never forget William the Con- 
 queror — never." 
 
 " Yes — ves, 1 think I do." It was clearly an effort 
 of memory. 
 
 '' And now," I said regretfully, " it can never he the 
 same again." 
 
 "Certainly not." He used (juite unnecessary em- 
 phasis. 
 
 " William and the others having been since de- 
 stroved bv tire," I continued. ^Ir. Mafferton looked 
 foolish. " What a terrible scene that must have 
 been! Didn't vou feel when all that roval wax melted 
 as if the dynasties of Kngland had been wrecked 
 over again! What effect ditl it have on dear old Vic- 
 toria T' 
 
 " One (juestion at a time," said Mr. .Matferton, and 
 I think he smiled. 
 
 " Xow you remind me of Sandford and '*'. .ton," T 
 said, "and a place for everything and eve.^ ..ing in its 
 place. And punctuality is the thief of time. And many 
 others." 
 
 "You haven't got n quite right," said Mr. Maffer- 
 
ir,4 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ton witli incipiont animation. " ^Iny I correct you? 
 * Procrastination,' not ' punctuality.' " 
 
 " Tlianks," 1 said. 1 could not help observing that 
 for quite five minutes Mr. Mafferton had made no elfort 
 to overhear the conversation between !Mr. Dod and Miss 
 Portheris. It was a trifle, but life is made up of little 
 things. 
 
 " I don't believe we adorn our conversation with 
 proverbs in America as much as we did," I continued. 
 " 1 guess it takes too long. If you make use of a prov- 
 erb you see, you've got to allow for reflection flrst, 
 and reflection afterwards, and a sigh, and very few 
 of us have time for that. It is one of our disadvan- 
 
 tages. 
 
 >) 
 
 Mr. Maffcrton heard me with attention. 
 
 " Keally! " he said in quite his old manner when we 
 used to discuss Prcsidentiiil elections and peanuts and 
 other features of life in my republic. " That is a fact 
 of some interest — but T see you cling to one little Ameri- 
 canism, Miss Wick. Do vou remend)er " — he actuallv 
 looked arch — ^ once assuring me that you intended to 
 abandon the verb to ' guess '^ " 
 
 " T don't know why we should leave all the good 
 words to Shakespeare," T said, '' but I was under a great 
 many hallucinations about the American language in 
 England, and I daresay I did." 
 
 If I responded coldly, it was at the thought of my 
 last interview with poor dear Arthur, and his misju'ised 
 larynx. But at this moment a wildly encouraging sign 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 165 
 
 from Dicky roiiiiiuled iiio that his interests and not my 
 own emotions were to be considered. 
 
 '^ We nmstn't reproach each other, must we," I 
 said softly. "/ don't bear a particle of malice — really 
 and trulv." 
 
 Mr. Mafferton cast a glance of alarm at Mr. Dod 
 and Miss Portheris, who were raptly exchanging views 
 as to the respective merits of a cleek and a brassey shot 
 given cert^iin peculiar bunkers and a sandy green — as if 
 two infatuated people talking golf would have ears for 
 anything else! 
 
 " Xot on any account," he said hurriedlv. 
 
 " The best quality of friendship sometimes arises 
 out of the most unfortunate circumstances," I added. 
 The sympathy in my voice was for Dicky and Isabel. 
 
 Mr. Malferton looked at me expressively and the 
 carriage drew up at the Catacombs of St. Callistus. Mrs. 
 Portheris was awaiting us by the gate, however, so in 
 getting out I gave uiy hand to Dicky. 
 
 Inside and outside the gate, how (piiet it was. Noth- 
 ing on the Appian Way but dust and sunlight, nothing 
 in the field within the walls but yellowing grass and here 
 and there a field-daisy bending in the silence. It made 
 one think of an old faded water-colour, washed in with 
 tears, that clings to its significance though all its reality 
 is gone. Then we saw a little bare house to the left with 
 an open door, and inside found Brothers Demetrius 
 and Eusebius in Trappist gowns and ropes, who would 
 sell us beads for the profitable employment of our souls, 
 
■T^^w^B^ 
 
 ICO 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ' 
 
 and clioc'olato and pliotographs, and wonderful encal_v[>- 
 tus li([U('ur from the Three Fountains, and when we had 
 well bought would show us the city of the long, long 
 dead of which they were custodians. They were both 
 obliging enough to speak English, Brother Demetrius 
 imperfectly and haltingly, and without the assistance 
 of those four front teeth whi<.*h are so especially neces- 
 sary to a foreign tongue, Brother Eusebius fluently, and 
 with such richness of dialect that we were not at all sur- 
 prised to learn that he had served his Pope for some 
 years in the State of New York. 
 
 " For de ladi de chocolate. Ith it not? " said Brother 
 Demetrius, with an inducive smile. " It ith de betht 
 in de worl', dis chocolate." 
 
 " Don't you believe him," said Brother Eusebius, 
 " he's known as the oldest of the Roman frauds. AVants 
 your money, that's what he wants." Brother Demetrius 
 shook his fist in amicable, wagging protest. " That's 
 the way he goes on, you know — quarrelsome old party. 
 But I don't say it's bad chocolate. Try it, young lady, 
 try it." 
 
 He handed a bit to Isabel, who looked at her 
 momma. 
 
 " There is no possible objection, my dear," said Mrs. 
 Porthoris, and she nibbled it. 
 
 Dicky invested wildly. 
 
 " Dese photograff dey are very pritty," remarked 
 Brother Demetrius to momma, who was turning over 
 some St. Stephens and St. Cecilias. 
 
 J ! 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 167 
 
 " He'd say anytliing to sell tlioiii," put in Brother 
 Eiisebius. " Jle never tliinks of his immortal soul, any 
 more than if he was a poor miserahle heretic. Jle'll 
 tell you they're originals next, taken hy Xero at the time. 
 You're all good Catholics, of coursed " 
 
 " We are not any kind of Catholics," said Mrs. Por- 
 theris severely. 
 
 " I'll give you my blessing all the same, and no 
 extra charge. But the saints forbid that I should be 
 selling beads made out of their precious bones to Protes- 
 tants." 
 
 " I'll take that string," said momma. 
 
 " I wouldn't do it on an;^ account," continued Broth- 
 er Eusebius, as he wrapped them up in blue paper, but 
 momma still attaches a certain amount of veneration to 
 those beads. 
 
 "And what can I do for vou, sir^" continued 
 Brother Eusebius to the Senator, rubbing his hands. 
 "What'll be the next thing?" 
 
 " The Early Christians," replied poppa laconically, 
 ** if it's all the same to you." 
 
 " Just in half a shake. Don't hurry yourselves. 
 They'll keep, you know — they've kept a good long 
 while already. Xow vou, madam," said Brother Euse- 
 bins to Mrs. Portheris, " have never had the influenza, 
 I know. It only attacks people advanced in life." 
 
 " Indeed I have," replied that lady. " Twice." 
 
 " Is that so! Well, you never would have had it if 
 you'd been protected with this liqueur of ours. It's 
 
I li 
 
 1G8 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 (loath and burial on influenza," and Brother Eusebius 
 shook the l)ottle. 
 
 " I conHider," said Mrs. Portheris solemnly, " that 
 eucalyptus in another form saved my life. But I in- 
 haled it." 
 
 " Tho," ventured Brother Demetrius, " tho did I. 
 But the wine ith for internal drinking." 
 
 " Listen to him! ii'ternal drinking, that's what he 
 means. You never saw such an old boy for the influ- 
 enza — gets it every week or so. How many bottles, 
 madam? Just a nip, after dinner, and you don't know 
 how poetic it will make you feel into the bargain." 
 
 " One bottle," replied Mrs. Portheris, " the larger 
 size, please. Anything with eucalyptus in it must be 
 salutary. And as we are going underground, where 
 it is bound to be damp, I think I'll have a little 
 
 now. 
 
 >) 
 
 " That's what I call English common-sense," ex- 
 claimed Brother Eusebius, getting out a glass. " Will 
 nobody keep the lady company? It's Popish, but it's 
 good." 
 
 Xobodv would. Momma observed rather uncau- 
 tiously that the smell of it was enough, at which Mrs. 
 Portheris remarked, with some asperity, that she hoped 
 Mrs. Wick would never be obliged to be indebted to the 
 " smell." " It is quite excellent," she said, " most cor- 
 dial. I really think, as a precaution, I'll take another 
 glass." 
 
 " Isn't it pretty strong? " asked poppa. 
 
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 (716) 872-4503 
 
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 iV 
 
We followed the monks. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 169 
 
 " The influenza is stronger," replied !Mrs. Portheris 
 oracularly, and finished her second potation. 
 
 " And nothing," said Brother Eusebius sadly, '' for 
 the gentleman standing outside the door, who doesn't 
 approve of encouraging the Roman Catludic Church in 
 any respect whatever. Dear me! dear niel we do get 
 some queer customers." At which ^Ir. ^rafferton 
 frowned portentously. But nothing seemed to have any 
 effect on Brother Eusebius. 
 
 " There are such a lot of vou, and vou are sure to be 
 so inquisitive, that we'll both go with you," said he, 
 and took candles from a shelf. Xot ordinarv candles 
 at all — coils of long, slender strips, with one end turned 
 up to burn. At the sight of them momma shuddered 
 and said she hadn't thought it would be dark, and took 
 the Senator's arm as a precautionai'y measure. Then 
 we followed the monks Eusebius and Demetrius, who 
 wrapped shawls round their sloping shoulders and hur- 
 ried across the grass towards the little brick entrance to 
 the Catacombs, shading their candles from the wind that 
 twisted their brown gowns round their legs, with all the 
 anxiety to get it over show^n by janitors of buildings of 
 this world. 
 
i! 
 
 111 
 
 :i 
 
 I 
 
 I 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 At first throiigli the square chambers of the early 
 Popes and the narrow passages lined with empty cells, 
 nearest to the world outside, we kept together, and it 
 was mainly Eusebius who discoursed of the building 
 of the Catacombs, which he informed us had a pagan 
 beginning. 
 
 " But our blessed early bishops said, ' Why should 
 the devil have all the accommodations? ' and when once 
 the Church got its foot in there wasn't much room for 
 him. But a few pagans there are here to this day in 
 better company than they ever kept above ground," re- 
 marked Brother Eusebius. 
 
 " Can you tell them apart? " asked Mr. Dod, " the 
 Christians and the Pagans? " 
 
 ^' Yes," replied that holy man, " by the measure- 
 ments of the jaw-bone. The Christians, you see, were 
 always lecturing the other fellows, so their jaw-bones 
 grew to an awful size. Some of 'em are simply parlia- 
 mentarv." 
 
 " Dat," said Brother Demetrius anxiously — as no- 
 body had laughed — " ith a joke." 
 
 " I noticed the intention," said poppa. " It's down 
 
 170 
 
A VOYAGE OF C'OXSOLATION. 
 
 171s 
 
 ire- 
 
 les 
 lia- 
 
 10- 
 
 ivn 
 
 in tlic i»iiide-book that voir ve been * absolved from the 
 vow of sileiico ' — is that t'orroct^ " 
 
 " Kii>ht vou are," said Brother Eiisebius. ^' AVhat 
 about it ( " 
 
 " Oh, iiotliiiig — only it explains a good deal. 1 guess 
 vou eniov it, don't vou ^ " 
 
 liut Brother Eusebius was bending over a cell in bet- 
 ter preservation tlian most of them, and was illuminat- 
 ing with his candle the bones of the dweller in it. The 
 light lliekered on the skull of the Early Christian and 
 the tonsure of the modern one and made comparisons. 
 It also cut the darkness into solid blocks, and showed 
 us broken bits of marble, faint siains of old frescoes, 
 strange rough letters, and where it wavered furthest 
 the uncertain lines of a graven cross. 
 
 '' Here's one of the original inhabitants," remarked 
 Eusebius. " lie's been here all the time. I hope the 
 ladies don't mind looking at him in his bones? " 
 
 " Thee, you can pick him up," said old Demetrius, 
 handing a thigh-bone to momma, who shrank from the 
 privilege. " It ith quite dry." 
 
 " It seems such a liberty," she said, " and he looks 
 so incomplete without it. Do put it back." 
 
 " That's the way I feel," remarked Dicky, " but I 
 don't believe he'd mind our looking at a toe-bone. Are 
 his toe-bones all there? " 
 
 " No," replied Demetrius, " I have count another 
 
 dav and he ith nine onlv. Here ith a few.'* 
 
 ^' It is certainly a very solemn and unusual privi- 
 12 
 
■»»i^«"P^"i"^ T' 
 
 172 
 
 A VOYAGE OF (,'ONSOLATIOX. 
 
 lege," remarked Mr. Alaiferton, as tlie toe-bones went 
 rotmd, " to toneli the mortal remnant of an Karly 
 Christian." 
 
 " That altogether depends," said tlie Senator, '' npon 
 what sort of an Early Christian he was. Maybe he was 
 a saint of the first water, and maybe he was a pilhir of 
 the ehnreh that ran a buikling society. Or, maybe, lie 
 was only an average sort of Early Christian like yon or 
 me, in whieli ease he nmst be verv nncomfortable at the 
 idea of inspiring so mneh respect. How arc yon going 
 to telir' 
 
 '' The gentleman is right," said Brother Ensebins, 
 and in considering po])pa's theory in its ndation to the 
 donbtfnl character before them nobody noticed, except 
 me, the petty larceny, by Kichard I)od, of one Early 
 Christian toe-bone. His expression, I am glad to say, 
 made me think he had never stolen anything before; 
 bnt yon conldn't imagine a more promising beginning 
 for a career of end)ezzlement. As we moved on I men- 
 tioned to him that the man who wonld steal the toe- 
 bone of an Earlv Christian, wlio had only nine, was 
 capable of most crimes, at which lie assnred me that he 
 hadn't sncli a thing about him ontside of his })oots, 
 which shows how one wrong step leads to another. 
 
 We fell presently into two parties — Dicky, Mrs. Po^- 
 theris, and I holding to the skirts of Brother Demetrius. 
 Brother Demetrius knew a great deal about tlie Latin 
 inscriptions and the history of Pope Damasus and the 
 chapel of the Bishops, and how tliey found the body of 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 173 
 
 he 
 ts, 
 
 IS. 
 
 lin 
 he 
 of 
 
 St. (Vn-ilia, after (M^ht hiUKh'cd years, fresh and perfect, 
 and (h'essed in ricli vestments emhroifh'red in ii'old; but 
 liis wav of inipartiim' it seriously interfered with the 
 vahie of his information, and we lo(»ke(l reiiretfullv 
 after the other party. 
 
 '' Here we liave de tomb of Anterus and Fabi- 
 aniKs " 
 
 " 1 tliink wc should keep up with tlie rest," inter- 
 rupted !Mrs. Portlieris. 
 
 " Oh, I too, I know all dese Catacond) — T will take 
 von evervwheres — and here, too, we have buried Kn- 
 tyehianus." 
 
 ^' AVliere is Brother Eusebius taking the others? " 
 asked Diekv. 
 
 ^' Xow I tell yon: he niith all de valuable ting, he is 
 too fat and lazy; only joke, jok(\ joke. And here wc 
 has buried Epis — martyr. E])is he wath marlijvy 
 
 The others, with their lights and voices, came into 
 full view^ where four passages met in a eubicde. '" Oh," 
 cried Isabel, catching sight of us, " do come and see 
 Jonah and the whale. It's too funny for anything." 
 
 " And \vhere Damathnth found here the many good 
 
 thai nth he " 
 
 We would like to see Jonah," entreated Dicky. 
 Well," said Brother Demetrius crossly, " you go 
 thee him — you catch up. I will no more. You do not 
 like my Englis' very well. You go with fat old joke- 
 fellow, and I return the houth. Bethide, it ith the 
 day of my lumbago." And the venerable Demetrius, 
 
 
174 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 witli distinct tciiii)cr, turned liis back on us and wad- 
 dled off. 
 
 We looked at each other in consternation. 
 
 " I'm afraid we've hurt his feelings," said Dicky. 
 
 " You must go after him, Mr. Dod, and apologize," 
 commanded Mrs. Portheris. 
 
 " Do you suppose he knows the way out?" I asked. 
 
 " It is a shame," said Dicky. " I'll go and tell him 
 we'd rather have him than Jonah any day." 
 
 Brother Demetrius was just turning a corner. Dark- 
 ness encompassed him, lying thick between lis. lie 
 looked, in the light of his candle, like something of 
 Rembrandt's suspended for a moment before us. Dicky 
 started after him, and, presently, Mrs. Portlieris and I 
 were regarding each other with more friendliness than 
 I would have believed possible across our flaring dips in 
 the silence of the Catacombs. 
 
 "Poor old gentleman," I said; "I hope Mr. Dod 
 will overtake him." 
 
 " So do I, indeed," said ^[rs. Portheris. " I fear we 
 have been very inconsiderate. But young people are 
 always so impatient," she added, and put the blame 
 where it belonged. 
 
 I did not retaliate with so much as a reproachful 
 glance. Even as a censor Mrs. Portheris was so emi- 
 nently companionable at the moment. But as we 
 waited for Dicky's return neither of us spoke again. It 
 made too much noise. MiixUtes passed, I don't know 
 how many, but enough for us to look cautiously round 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 175 
 
 J) 
 
 )od 
 
 we 
 are 
 line 
 
 ifiil 
 
 ismi- 
 
 we 
 
 It 
 
 lOW 
 
 md 
 
 to see if there was anvthinp; to sit on. There wasn't, so 
 Mrs. Portheris took my arm. We were not })e()j)le to 
 lean on each otlier in the ordinary vicissitu(h's of life, 
 and even nnder the eireumstanees 1 was aware that 
 Mrs. Portheris was a great deal to support, hut there 
 was comfort in everv ])oun(l of her. At last a faint 
 light foreshadowed itself in the direction of Dicky's dis- 
 appearance, and grew stroiiger, and was resolved into 
 a candle and a young num, and ^fr. Dod, very much 
 paler than when he left, was with us again. Mrs. Por- 
 theris and I started apart as if scientitically impelled, 
 and exclaimed simultaneously, " Where is ]3rother De- 
 metrius? " 
 
 *' Nowhere in this graveyard," said Dicky. " lie's 
 well upstairs by this time. Must have taken a short 
 cut. I lost sight of him in about two seconds." 
 
 " That was very careless of vou, Mr. Dod " said ^Irs. 
 Portheris, " ver}- careless indeed. Xow we have no 
 option, I suppose, but to rejoin the others; and where 
 are they ? " 
 
 They were certainly not where they had been. Xot 
 a trace nor an echo — not a trace nor an echo — of any- 
 thing, only parallelograms of darkness in every direc- 
 tion, and our little circle of light flickering on the tond)s 
 of Anterus, and Fabianus, and Entychianus, and Epis 
 — martyr — and we three within it, looking at each 
 other. 
 
 " If you don't mind," said Dicky, " I would rather 
 not go after them. I think it's a waste of time. Per- 
 
17G 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 soTiallv T mil (luitc contented to liavo rejoined yon. At 
 one time I tlionglit 1 slioiildirt l)e able to, and the idea 
 
 was trviiig'. 
 
 '> 
 
 " AVe wouldn't (Jrrnm of letting you go again," said 
 ]\rr.s. Portheris and I siniultaneouslv. '' Ijut,'' eontin- 
 lied Mrs. ]\)rtlieris, " we will all go in search of the 
 others. They can't be verv far awav. There is notli- 
 ing so alarming as standing still." 
 
 AVe jH'oceeded along the passage in the direction of 
 our last glimpse of our friends and relatives, jiassing a 
 number of most interesting inscriptions, which we felt 
 we had not time to pause and decij)her, and came ])res- 
 cntly to a divergence which none of us could remember. 
 Half of the passage went down three steps, and turned 
 oif to the left under an arch, and the other half climbed 
 two, and immediately lost itself in blackness of dark- 
 ness. In our hesitation Dicky suddenly stooped to a 
 trace of pink in the stone leading upward, and i)icked 
 it uj) — three rose petals. 
 
 " That settles it," he exclaimed. " Isa— "Miss Por- 
 theris was wearing a rose. I gave it to her nn-self." 
 
 " Did von, indeed," said Isabel's mamma coldly. 
 " ]\Iy dear child, how anxious she will be! " 
 
 " Oh, I should think not," I said hopefully. " I am 
 sure she can trust Mr. Dod to take care of himself — and 
 of us, too, for the matter of that." 
 
 "Mr. Dod!" exclaimed Mrs. Portheris with in- 
 dignation. " My poor child's anxiety will be for her 
 mother." 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 177 
 
 Iv. 
 
 m- 
 
 lier 
 
 An<l we let it ii'n iit tliat. liUt Dickv ])iit tlic rose 
 petals in liis pocket with the toe-hone, and ho|u>t'ulIy 
 reniarkcil tliat there wonM l)e no difHeultv ahout find- 
 
 « 
 
 ing lier n(»\v. I nientl(»ned tliat 1 had j)arents also, at 
 tliat moment, lost in the Cataeomhs, hut he did not 
 aj)olo^i/.e. 
 
 'IMie midniiiht of the ])laeo, as we walked on, seemed 
 to deepen, and its silence to grow more ])rofound. The 
 tond)s ))assed ns in solemn grey ranges, one al)ov(> the 
 other — the long tomhs of the growii-np people, and the 
 shorter <,)nes of tlie children, and the verv little ones of 
 the hahies. The air held a concentrated dolor of fu- 
 nerals sixteen centuries old, and the four dim stone walls 
 seemed to have crept closer together. '' T think [ will 
 take your arm, ^Ir. I)(jd," said Mrs. l^^rtheris, and "' I 
 think I will take your other arm, Mr, J)o(l," said \. 
 
 " Thank you,-' rei)lied Dicky, " J should he glad of 
 both of yours," whieh may look and)iguous now, but 
 we quite understood it at the time. It made rather 
 uncomfortable walking in jdaces, but against that over- 
 Avhebning maioritv of the dead it was comforting to 
 feel ourselves a living unit. We stund)led on, taking 
 only the most obvious turnings, and presently the pas- 
 sage widened into another little sfpiare chamber. '' More 
 bishops! " groaned Dicky, holding np his candle. 
 
 " Perhaps," I replied triumphantly, " but eTonah, 
 anyway," and I pointed him out on the wall, in two 
 shades of brown, a good deal faded, being precipitated 
 into the jaws of a green whale with paws and horns and 
 
178 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 a sniilc, tilso a c'.irlcd bodv juid a tlirco-forkcd tail. Tlio 
 Avickcd (1(>(m1 liad (wo a('t'oiii[)li('t's only, who had appar- 
 I'Ully !Sto[)p('d rowing- to (h) it. I'lKhTiicath was a coiii- 
 panioii skcti'h of the restitution of Jonah, in perfect 
 order, by the wliale, whieh had, nevertiieless, ji,rown 
 ('onsideral)lv stouter in the interval, while an amiable 
 stran<;'er reelined in an arbor, with his hand under his 
 liead, and looked on. 
 
 '' As a eliild your intellii;enec ])ronused well,'' said 
 Dieky; " that is Jonah, though not of the Revised Ver- 
 sion. I don't think l>ibk' stories ought to be illustrated, 
 do you, ^Irs. Portheris^ It has sueh a bad effect on the 
 
 >» 
 
 imagination 
 
 " We can talk of that at another time, Mr. Dod. At 
 present I wish to be restored to my daughter. Let us 
 push on at once. And please expiain how it is that we 
 have had to walk so far to get to this place, which was 
 onlv a few vards from where we were standing when 
 Brother Demetrius left us! " ^Irs. Portheris's words 
 were commanding, but her tone was the tone of suppli- 
 cation. 
 
 " I'm afraid I can't," said Dicky, " but for that very 
 reason I think we had better stay where we are. They 
 are pretty sure to look for ns here." 
 
 " I cannot possibly wait to be looked for. I must be 
 restored to my daughter! You must make an effort, 
 Mr. Dod. And, now that I think of it, I have left the 
 key of our boxes in the drawer of the dressing-table, 
 and the key of that is in it, and the housemaid has the 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 179 
 
 fry 
 ey 
 
 be 
 rt, 
 
 Ihe 
 lie, 
 
 he 
 
 kov of tlio room. It is absolutclv iieces.sarv tliat I 
 sliould p) back to tho hotel at oiicc/' 
 
 " Mv dear ladv," said Dickv, "don't von rcalizo 
 that we arc lost ( " 
 
 ''Lost! Inipossildc! Shout, Mr. Dod!'' 
 
 Dickv shontcd, and all the Karlv ( 'hristians answered 
 him. 'Jdierc arc said to be seven nuUions. ^Irs. Por- 
 theris gras])ed his arm convnlsively. 
 
 " Don't do that again," she said, " on any account. 
 Let US go on ! " 
 
 " ^hich bett(M' not," ]H'oteste(l Dickv. 
 
 "On! on! " coniman(h'd Mrs. Portheris. There was 
 no alternative. We i)nt Dicky in the middle again, 
 and cantionsly stepped ont. A njund of bine ])aper 
 under our chaperone's arm caught the eye of ^Ir. Dod. 
 **^ What luck!" he exfdaimed, ''you have brouglit the 
 li(|ueur with you, ^frs. Portheris. T think we'd better 
 fill have some, if you don't mind. I've been in warmer 
 cemeteries." 
 
 As she undid the bottle, ^frs. Portheris detdared that 
 she alreadv felt the i)r(dinnnarv a(die of influenza. She 
 exhorted us to copious draughts, but it was much too 
 nasty for more than a sip, though warming to a de- 
 gree. 
 
 " Better take ver}' little at a time," Dicky suggested, 
 but Mrs. Portheris reaffirmed her faith in the virtues of 
 eucalyptus, and with such majesty as was compatible 
 with the neck of the bottle, drank deeply. Then we 
 stumbled on. Presently Mrs. Portheris yawned widely 
 
180 
 
 A V()YA(ii': OV (CONSOLATION 
 
 twice, lliricc, and n^aiii. " I Ix,'^ your pardon," said 
 hIic, '' I don't sccni al)ic lo Im'I|) it." 
 
 " It's the ('xain|)l(' of these j;a|)in^ seimlclires," 
 Dicky replieil. " Don't aj)olo<;i/.e." 
 
 Tlie passages grew narntwei' and more <M(nij)lex, tlie 
 tond)s more irregular. We came to one that j)artly 
 hhM'ked tiie j)ath, tilted against the main wall lik(! a 
 se|)ai'ate sarc()j)liagiis, tlioiigh it was really part of the 
 s(»li<l rock. liooklng hack, a wall seem(Ml to liav(! risen 
 heliind ns; it was a distinctly perplexing moment, liard 
 nj)on the nerves, 'i'he tond) was emj)ty, exce])t for a 
 few hones that nnglit have been anything huddled at 
 the hottom, and Mrs. Portheris sat down on the lower 
 end of it. " I really do not feel ahle to go Jiny further," 
 slie said; "the ascent is so perjiendicular." 
 
 I was going to protest that the j)lac(! was as level 
 as a street, hut Dicky forestalled me. " I']ucalyptns," 
 lie said soothingly, " often has that eifect." 
 
 " We are lost," continued Mrs. Portheris lugubri- 
 ously, "in the ( 'atac()ml)s. We may as well make up 
 our minds to it. We came here this morning at ten 
 o'clock, and I should tliiids, I should thiidv — tliisli iiius' 
 be minniglit on tlui following day." 
 
 " My watch lias run down," said Dicky, " but you 
 are ])robably (piite "iglit, Mrs. Portlieris." 
 
 " It is doubtful," Mrs. Portlieris went on, pulling 
 herself together, " whether we are ever found. There 
 are nine hundred miles of Catacond)s. T'^nlesa we be- 
 come cannibals we are likely to die of starvation. If we 
 
'7'^'™" ", ,^ W"*" 
 
 A V()YA(;e ok consolation. 
 
 18L 
 
 k 
 
 pe 
 re 
 
 do bcconic fiiniiilmls, Mr. Dod," she {iddcfl, sternly cn- 
 dcavonrin^ to look Dicky in the eye, " I liojtc yoii will 
 rcnicinlxT uhiif isli due to kidics." 
 
 " i will oiler iiiysell* up <j,liidly," siiid li", jind I 
 could not help rellectiufi' upon the ciuufort of a 
 third party with a sense of humour under the circuin- 
 stances. 
 
 '' Thass ri;^lit," said Mrs. I*ortheris, rxtddin^ ap|»rov- 
 in^ly, and niueli oftener than was necessary. " TluMi^li 
 there isn't much on vou — vou won't <:o verv far." Then 
 aftei' a moment of gloomy reflection she hlew out her 
 candle, and, Ixd'ore I couhl j)revent it, mine also. Dicky 
 liastily ])ut his out of reach. 
 
 " 'Idiree candles at once," sh(; ssiid virtuously, '^ in a 
 room of this si/el Jt is wicked extravagance, neither 
 more nor less," 
 
 I assure you you wotdil have laughed, even in the 
 (*atacoml)s, and Dicky and I mutually approached the 
 ])or(lers of hysteria in our misplaced mirth. Mrs. Por- 
 theris smiled in urnson somewhat foolishly, and we saw 
 that slund)er was overtakinj^ her. (iradnally and un- 
 consciously she sli[)f)ed down and hack, and presently 
 rested comfortably in the sepulchre of jier selection, 
 soun<l asleej). 
 
 " She is riglit in it," said Dicky, holding up hi.s can- 
 dle. '' She's a lulu," he add(;d disgustedly, " with her 
 cucalyptns." 
 
 This was disrespectful, hut consider the annoyance of 
 losing a third of our forees against seven million Early 
 
I miiiwffV»:ffi^;Hi 
 
 182 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Cliristian ghosts. AVe sat down, Dicky and I, with 
 onr backs against tlic tomb of Mrs. I*ortlieris, and when 
 IJicky suggested that I might like him to hold my 
 hand for a little while I made no objecti(m whatever. 
 AVe decided that the immediate prospect, though un- 
 comfortable, was not alarming, that we had been wan- 
 dering about for j)ossibly an hour, judging by the 
 dwindling of Dicky's candle, and that search must be 
 made for us as soon as ever the others went above 
 ground and heard from Brother Demetrius the tale of 
 our abandonment. I said that if I knew anvthinc; 
 about momma's capacity for underground walking, the 
 other party would have gone up long ago, and that 
 search for us w^as, therefore, in all likelihood, proceed- 
 ing now, though perhaps it would be wiser, in case we 
 might want them, to burn only one candle at a time. 
 We had onlv to listen intentlv and we would hear the 
 voices of the searchers. We did listen, but all that we 
 heard w^as a faint far distant moan, which Dicky tried 
 to make me believe was the wind in a ventilating shaft. 
 We could also hear a prolonged thumping very close to 
 us, but that we could each account for personally. And 
 nothing more. 
 
 " Dicky," said I after a time, " if it weren't for the 
 candle I believe I should be frightened." 
 
 " It's about the most parsimonious style of candle 
 I've ever seen," replied Dicky, " but it would give a 
 little more light if it were trimmed." And he opened 
 his pocket-knife. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 183 
 
 e 
 
 *' Be very careful," I begged, and Dicky said 
 '' Rather!" 
 
 " Did voii ever notice," he asked, " that vou can 
 touch flame all right if you are only quick enough^ 
 Xow, see me take the to}) off that candle." If Dicky 
 had a fault it was a tendencv to boastfulness. He took 
 the lighted wick between his thumb and his knife-blade, 
 and skilfully scooped the top off. It blazed for two 
 seconds on the edge of the blade — just long enough 
 to show us that all the flame had come with it. 
 Then it went out, and in the darkness at mv side 
 I heard a scuffling among waistcoat pockets, and a 
 groan. 
 
 " Xo matches?" I asked in despair. 
 
 " Left 'em in my light overcoat pockets, Mamie. 
 I'm a bii>:c:er ass than — than ^lafferton." 
 
 " You are," I sai<l with decision. " Xo Englishman 
 goes anywhcra without his light overcoat. AVhat have 
 you done with yours? " 
 
 " Left it in the carriage," replied Dick humbly. 
 
 " That shows," said I bitterlv, " how little vou have 
 learned in England. Propriety in connection with you 
 is evidently like water and a duck's back. An intelli- 
 gent person would have accpured the light (Overcoat 
 principle in three days, and never have gone out with- 
 out it afterward." 
 
 "Oh, go on!" replied Dick fiercely. "Go on. I 
 don't mind. I'm not so stuck on myself as I was. But 
 if we've got to die together you might as well forgive 
 
184 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 me. You'll have to do it at the last moment, you 
 know." 
 
 " I suppose you have be^an to review 3'our past life," 
 I said grimly, " and that's why you are using so much 
 American slang." 
 
 Then, as iJicky was again holding my hands, I 
 maintained a dignified silence. You cannot possibly 
 quarrel with a person who is holding your hand, no mat- 
 ter how you feel. 
 
 '' There's only one thing tliat consoles me in con- 
 nection with those matches," Dicky mentioned after a 
 time. ^' Thev were French ones." 
 
 " I don't know what that has to do with it," I said. 
 
 " That's because you don't smoke," Dicky replied. 
 And I had not the h.art to pursue the inquiry. Time 
 went on, black and silent, as it had been doing down 
 there for sixteen centuries. AVe stopped arguing about 
 why they didn't come to look for us, each privately 
 wondering if it was possible that we had strayed too 
 ingeniously ever to be found. AVe talked of many things 
 to try to keep up our spirits, the conviction of the St. 
 Jameses Gazette that American young ladies live largely 
 upon chewing-gum, and other topics far removed from 
 our surroundings, but the effort was not altogether suc- 
 cessful. Dicky had just pennitted himself to make 
 a reference to his mother in Chicago when a sound be- 
 hind us made us both start violently, and then cheered 
 us immensely — a snore from Mrs. Portheris within the 
 tomb. It was not, happily, a single accidental snore, 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 185 
 
 iit 
 y 
 >o 
 
 t. 
 
 'y 
 111 
 
 ic- 
 
 ;e 
 
 10 
 
 but tlio foreniinicr of ji regular sorios, and wo haug 
 upon tlioni as thoy issued, eouiforted and supported. 
 We were vagu(dv aware that we eould have no bettoi* 
 defenec against disembodied Early (diristians, when, 
 in the course of an hour, ^[rs. Portheris sat up sud- 
 denly among the bones of the original occupant and 
 asked what time it was. A\ e felt a pang of regret at 
 losing it. 
 
 After the first moment or two that lady realized the 
 situation completely. " I suppose," she said, '^ we have 
 been down here about two days. I am ([uitc faint with 
 hunger. I have often read that candles, under these 
 terrible circumstances, are sustaining. What a good 
 thing we have got the candles." 
 
 Dicky S(jueezed my hand nervously, luit our chap- 
 erone had slept off the eucalyptus and had no longer 
 one cannibal thought. 
 
 " I don't think it is time for candles yet," he said 
 reassuringly. '' You have been asleep, you know, Mrs. 
 Portheris." 
 
 " If vou have eaten them already, T consider that 
 vou have taken an unfair advantage, a verv unfair ad- 
 
 >> 
 
 vantage 
 
 " Here is mine ! " exclaimed Dicky nobly. " I hope 
 I can denv mvself, Mrs. Portheris, to that extent." 
 
 "And mine," I echoed; "but really, Mrs. Por- 
 theris " 
 
 Another pressure of Dicky's hand reminded me — T 
 am ashamed to confess it — that if Mrs. Portheris was 
 
»iii«iiifii"<»^wip^ iii«^_ii|pi|pii^i(v«ipil|ii««i^>,iiiwifij.iiip,i|jgaiaii«ini^i>iv|v]!«vijii(i>(uii*;!(ipwr^ 
 
 186 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 bent upon the unnecessary consumption of Roman tal- 
 low there was nothing in lier past treatment of either of 
 us to induce us to prevent her. The dictates of human- 
 ity, I know, should have influenced us otherwise, in 
 connection with tallow, but they seemed for the mo- 
 ment to have faded as completely out of our bosoms as 
 they did out of the early Roman persecutors! It seemed 
 to me that all my country's wrongs at the hands of j\lrs. 
 Portheris rose up and clamoured to be avenged, and 
 Dicky told me afterward that he felt just the same way. 
 
 '' Then I have done you an injustice," she continued; 
 " I apologize, I am sure, and I find that I have my own 
 candle, thank you. It is adhering to the side of my 
 bonnet." 
 
 "We were perfectly silent. 
 
 ^' Perhaps I ought to try and wait a little longer," 
 Mrs. Portheris hesitated, " but I feel such a sinking, 
 and I assure you I have fallen away. My garments are 
 quite loose." 
 
 " Of course it depends," said Dicky scientifically, 
 " upon the amount of carbon the system has in reserve. 
 Personally I think I can hold out a little longer. I had 
 
 an excellent breakfast this m , the day we came 
 
 here. But if I felt a sinking " 
 
 ''Waugh!^^ said Mrs. Portheris. 
 
 " Have you — have you begun ? " I exclaimed in 
 SLgony, while Dicky shook in silence. 
 
 " 1 have," replied Mrs. Portheris hurriedly; " where 
 — where is the eucalyptus? Ah! I have it! " 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 187 
 
 ^^Ben-en-euh ! It is nutri'^ivo, T am sure, but it re- 
 quires a cordial." 
 
 The darkness for some reason seemed a little less 
 black and the silence less oppressive. 
 
 ^' I have only eaten about three inches," remarked 
 Mrs. Portheris presently. Dicky and I were incapable 
 of conversation — " but I — but I cannot go on at pres- 
 ent. It is reallv not nice." 
 
 a. 
 
 '' An overdone fiavoi r, hasn't it? " asked Dicky, be- 
 tween gasps. 
 
 "Very much so! Horribly! But the eucalyptus 
 will, I hope, enable me to extract some benefit from it. 
 I think I'll lie down again." And we heard the sound 
 of a cork restored to its bottle as .Mrs. Portheris returned 
 to the tomb. It was quite half an hour before she woke 
 up, declaring that a whole night had passed and that 
 she was more famished than ever. "' But," she added, 
 " I feel it impossible to go on with the candle. There is 
 something about the wick " 
 
 " I know," said Dicky sympathetically, *' unless you 
 are born in Greenland, you cannot really enjoy them. 
 There is an alternative. Airs. Portheris, but I didn't like 
 to mention it " 
 
 " I know," she replied, '' shoe leather. I have 
 read of that, too, and I think it would be an im- 
 provement. Have you got a pocket-knife, Air. 
 Dod?" 
 
 Dicky produced it without a pang and we heard the 
 
 rapid sound of an unbuttoning shoe. " I had these 
 13 
 
w 
 
 188 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 made to order at two guineas, in the Burlington Ar- 
 cade," said ^Irs. Portheris regretfully. 
 
 " Then," said Dicky gravely, groping to hand her 
 the knife, " they will oe of good kid, and probably 
 tender." 
 
 "I hope so, indeed," said Mrs. Portheris; ^' we 
 must all have some. " Will you — will you carve, Mr. 
 Dod?" 
 
 I remembered with a pang how punctilious they 
 were in England about asking gentlemen to perform 
 this duty, and I received one more impression of the 
 permanence of British ideas of propriety. But Dicky 
 declined; said he couldn't undertake it — for a party, 
 and that Mrs. Portheris must please help herself and 
 never mind him, he would take anything there was, a 
 little later, with great hospitality. However, she in- 
 sisted, and my portion, I know, was a generous one, a 
 slice off the ankle. Mrs. Portheris begged us to begin; 
 she said it was so cheerless eating by one's self, and 
 made her feel quite greedy. 
 
 *' Really," she said, " it is much better than candle 
 — a little difficult to masticate perhaps, but, if I do say 
 it myself, quite a tolerable flavour. If I only hadn't 
 used that abominable French polish this morning. What 
 do you think, Mr. Dod? " 
 
 " I think," said Dicky, jumping suddenly to his feet, 
 while my heart stood still with anticipation, " that if 
 there's enough of that shoe left, you had better put it 
 on again, for I hear people calling us," and then, mak- 
 
Ar- 
 
 { 
 
 i 
 
 "In 
 

 Dicky shouted till tiio skeletons turned to libten. 
 
A VOYAGE OK CONSOLATION. 
 
 189 
 
 ing a trumpet with his hands, Dicky shoutcil till all the 
 Koinan skeletons siillicientlv intaet turned to listen. 
 JiUt this time tlie answer came hack from their desceud- 
 ants, running with a llash uf hmterns. 
 
 I will ski ) the scone of our reunion, because I am 
 not g(»od at matters which are nKJving, and we were all 
 excessively moved. It is necessary to exi)lain, however, 
 that IJrother Demetrius, when he went above ground, 
 felt his lund)ago so acutely that he retired to bed, and 
 ■was therefore not visible when the others came up. As 
 we had [)lanned beforehand, the Senator decided to go 
 on to the Jewish ('atacond)s, taking it for granted that 
 we would follow, while IJrother Kusebius, when he 
 found Demetrius in l)ed, als(j took it for granted that 
 we had gone on ahead, lie did not impure, he said, 
 because the virtue of taciturnitv l)ein<»' denied to them 
 ill the exercise of their business, they always diligently 
 cultivated it in private. My own conviction was that 
 they were not on speaking terms. Our friends and 
 relatives, after looking at the Jewish Catacombs, had 
 driven back to the hotel, and onlv began to feel anx- 
 ious at tea time, as they knew the English refreshment- 
 rooms were closed for the season, like everything else, 
 and Isabel asserted with tears that if her mother was 
 above ground she would not miss her tea. So tliev all 
 drove back to the Catacombs, and effected our rescue 
 after we had been immured for exactly seven hours. I 
 wish to add, to the credit of Mr. Richard Dod, that he 
 
190 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 has never yet breathed a syllable to anybody about the 
 manner in whi(di Mrs. Portheris sustained nature dur- 
 ing our imprisonment, although he must often have 
 been strongly tempted to do so. And neither have 1 — 
 until now. 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 
 " The tliinp: that struck mo on our «lrivo to tlie 
 hotel," remarked momma, " was that Xaples was almost 
 eiitirelv inhahited bv the lower classes." 
 
 " That is verv uoticeahle iiuleed," concurred Mr. 
 Mafferton, who was also tliere for the first time. " The 
 people of the place are no doubt in the country at this 
 time of the year, but one would naturally exi)ect to sec 
 more respectable persons about." 
 
 " Xow you'll excuse me, ^[afferton," said the Sena- 
 tor, ^' but that's just one of those places where I lose 
 the trail of the English language ab used by the original 
 inventors. Where do vou draw the line of distinction 
 between people and persons?" 
 
 " It's a mere Briticism, poppa," I observed. Mr. 
 Mafferton loathed being obliged to defend his native 
 tongue at any point. That very morning the modus 
 Vivendi between us, that T had done so much for Dicky's 
 sake to establish, had been been imperilled by my fool- 
 ish determination to know why all Englishmen pro- 
 nounced " white " " wite." 
 
 " I daresay," said poppa gloomily, " but T am not 
 
 on to it and I don't suppose T ever shall be. "What struck 
 
 191 
 
192 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 me on tlic ride up through the city was the perambulat- 
 ing biitli. Going round on wheels to be hired out, just 
 the ordinary tin tub of commerce. The fellows were 
 shouting something — ' Who'll buy a wash! ' I suppose. 
 But tliat's the disadvantage of a foreign language; it 
 leaves so much to the imagination." 
 
 " The goats were nice," I said, '' so promiscuous. I 
 saw one of them looking out of a window." 
 
 " And the dear little horses with bells round their 
 necks," monnna added, '' and the tall yellow houses with 
 the stucco dropping off, and especially the fruit shops 
 and the flower stalls that make pictures down every 
 narrow street. Such masses of colour! " 
 
 " We might have hit on a worse hotel," observed 
 Mr. Mafferton. " Very tolerable soup, to-night." 
 
 " I can't say I noticed the soup," said the Senator. 
 ^' Fact is, soup to me is just — soup. I presume tliere 
 are different kinds, but beyond knowing most of them 
 from gruel I don't pretend to be a connoisseur." 
 
 " What nonsense, Alexander! " said momma sternly. 
 
 " Some are saliier than others, Augusta, I admit. 
 But what I w^as going on to say was that for clear mo- 
 notony the dinner programmes ever since Paris have 
 beaten the record. Bramlev told me how it would be. 
 Consommy, he said — that's soup — consommy, the who'e 
 enduring time. Fish fritc or fried, roast beef a Vliall- 
 enne or mixed up with vegetables. Beans — well, juSt 
 beans, and if vou don't like 'em vou can leave 'em, but 
 that fourth course is never anything but beans. After 
 
 
I iij ^,i|i^OT^;^mpqi|ia<ijii>|^i^pjiii 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 103 
 
 1^ 
 
 that 3'on get a chicken cut up witli h^ttuce, because if 
 it was put on the tal)le whok' some disappointed investi- 
 gator might find out there was nothing inside and fik^ 
 a complaint. Anything to support tliat unstuffed 
 chicken? Xope. Finishing up with a compote of 
 canned fruit, mostly California pears that want moro 
 cooking, and after that cheese, if you like cheese, and 
 coffee charged extra. Thaid^s to Brjnnley, I can't say 
 I didn't know what to expect, but that doesn't increase 
 the variety an v. Xow in America — I understand you 
 have been to America, sir if " 
 
 " I have travelled in the States to some extent," 
 responded ^[r. ^lafferton. 
 
 '*^ Seen Brooklyn Bridge and the Hudson, I pre- 
 sume. Had a look at Xiagara Falls and a run out to 
 Chicago, maybe. That was before T had the pleasure 
 of meeting you. Get as far as the Yosemite? Xo? 
 Well, you were there long enough anyhow to realise 
 that our hotels are run on the free will svstem." 
 
 " I remember," said Mr. MafTerton. '' All the lux- 
 uries of the coming season, printed on a card usually 
 about a foot long. A great variety, and very difficult to 
 understand. When I had finished trying to translate 
 the morning paper, I used to attack the card. I found 
 that it threw quite a light upon early American civilisa- 
 tion from the aboriginal side. ' Hominy,' ' Grits,' 
 ' Buckwheats,' ' Cantelopes,' are some of the dishes I 
 remember. ' Succotash,' too, and ^ creamed squash,' but 
 I think they occurred at dinner generally. I used to 
 
J 
 
 194 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. J 
 
 t 
 
 siiminon tlio waitor, and wlicn he came to take ray 
 orders I would ask liim to derive those dishes. I had 
 great difficulty after a time in summoning a waiter. 
 But the plan gave me many interesting half hours. In 
 the end I usually ordered a chop." 
 
 " I don't want to run down your politics," poppa 
 said, " but that's what I call being too conservative. 
 Augusta, if you have had enough of the Bay of Xaples 
 and the moon, I mii>;ht remind vou of the buried citv of 
 Pompeii, which is on for to-morrow. It's a good long 
 way out, and you'll want all your powers of endurance. 
 I'm going down to have a smoke, and a look at the 
 humorous publications of Italy. There's no sort of 
 sociability about these hotels, but the head portiej- knows 
 a little English." 
 
 '^ I suppose I had better retire," momma admitted, 
 ^' though I sometimes wish ^[r. AVick wasn't so careful 
 of my nervous system. Delicious scene, good-night." 
 And she too left us. 
 
 We were sitting in a narrow balcony that seemed 
 to jut out of a horn of the city's lovely crescent. Dicky 
 and Isabel occupied chairs at a distance nicely calcu- 
 lated to necessitate a troublesome raising of the voice 
 to communicate with them. Mrs. Portheris was still 
 confined to her room with what was understood to 
 be the constitutional shock of her experiences in 
 the Catacombs. Dicky, in joyful privacy, assured 
 me tliat nobody could recover from a combination 
 of Roman tallow and French kid in less than a week, 
 
We were sitting in a narrow balcony. 
 
' . 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 195 
 
 but I told him he did not know the British constitu- 
 tion. 
 
 The moon sailed high over Xaplcs, and lighted the 
 lapping curve of her perfect bay in the deepest, softest 
 blue, and showed us some of the nearer houses of the 
 city, sloping and shouldering and creeping down, that 
 they were pink and yellow and parti-coloured, while the 
 rest curved and glimmered round the water in all ten- 
 der tones of white holding up a thousand lamps. And 
 behind, curving too, the hills stood clear, with the grey 
 phantom of Vesuvius in sharp familiar lines, sending 
 up its stream of steady red, and now and then a leaping 
 flame. It was a scene to wake the latent sentiment of 
 even a British bosom. I thought I would stay a little 
 longer. 
 
 " So you usually ordered a chop? " I said by way 
 of resuming the conversation. " I hope the chops were 
 tender." 
 
 (I have a vague recollection that my intonation 
 was.) 
 
 " There are worse things in the States than the mut- 
 ton," replied Mr. Mafferton, moving his chair to en- 
 able him, by twisting his neck not too ostentatiously, 
 to glance occasionally at Dicky and Isabel, "" but 
 the steaks were distinctly better than the chops — dis- 
 tinctly." 
 
 " So all connoisseurs say," I replied respectfully. 
 " Would you like to change seats with me? I don't 
 mind sitting with my back to — Vesuvius." 
 
■',i|P!.«^j(|lif.»in» i»"i.i ^^ii.iww|iiiiinniwi )!iiW^,wrTI.W'f''W''W?.''WII!"««WWI'lW 
 
 196 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ^Ir. Maffcrton blushed — unless it was the glow from 
 the volcano. 
 
 *' Kot on my account," he said. " By any means." 
 
 " You do not fear a demonstration," I suggested. 
 " And yet the forces of nature are very uncertain. That 
 is your English nerve. It deserves all that is said of it." 
 
 Mr. Mafferton looked at me suspiciously. 
 
 " I fancy you must be joking," he said. f 
 
 He sometimes complained that the great bar to his 
 observation of the American character was the Ameri- 
 can sense of humour. It was one of the things he had 
 made a note of, as interfering with the intelligent 
 stranger's enjoyment of the country. 
 
 '^ I suppose," I replied reproachfully, " you never 
 pause to think how unkind a suspicion like that is? 
 When one icislies to be taken seriously." 
 
 " I fear I do not," Mr. Maiferton confessed. '^ Per- 
 haps I jump rather hastily to conclusions sometimes. 
 It's a family trait. We get it through the Warwick- 
 Howards on mv mother's side." 
 
 " Then, of course, there can't be any objection to 
 it. But when one knows a person's opinion of frivolit}', 
 always to be thought frivolous by the person is hard 
 to bear. Awfully." 
 
 And if my expression, as I gazed past this English- 
 man at Vesuvius, was one of sad resignation, there was 
 nothing in the situation to exhilarate anybody. 
 
 The impassive countenance of Mr. Mafferton was 
 disturbed by a ray of concern. The moonlight enabled 
 
iliu/Uiiapimja.ll »ji »,iii^i»mw^»pnpn]in|||i 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 197 
 
 
 me to see it quite olearly. " Pray, Miss Wick," lie 
 
 said, '' do not think that. Who was it that wrote — 
 
 " A little humour now and then 
 Is relished by the wisest men." 
 
 " I don't know," I said, " hut there's something 
 about it that makes me tliink it is English in its origin. 
 Do you really endorse it? " 
 
 *' Certainly I do. And your liveliness, ^fiss Wick, 
 if I mav say so, is certainly one of your accomplishments. 
 It is to some extent a racial characteristic. You share 
 it with Mr. Dod." 
 
 I glanced in the direction of the other two. " They 
 seem desperately bored with each other," I said. '' They 
 are not saying anything. Shall we join them? " 
 
 " Dod is probably sulking because I am monopolising 
 you. Mrs. Portheris, you see, has let me into the secret " 
 — Mr. Mafferton looked very arch — " By all means, if 
 you think he ought to be humoured." 
 
 " Xo," I said firmly, " humouring is very bad for 
 Dicky. But I don't think he should be allowed to wreak 
 his ill-temper on Isabel." 
 
 " I haye noticed a certain lack of power to take the 
 initiatiye about Miss Portheris," said ^fr. ^fafferton 
 coldly, '' especially when her mother is not with her. 
 She seems quite unable to extricate herself from situa- 
 tions like the present." 
 
 " She is so young," I said apologetically, " and be- 
 sides, I don't think you could expect her to go quite 
 away and leave us here together, you know. She would 
 
198 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 naturally have foolish ideas.. She doesn't know any- 
 thing about our irrevocable Past." 
 
 " Why should she care? " asked Mr. Mafferton hypo- 
 critically. 
 
 "Oh," I said. "I don't know, I'm sure. Only 
 Mrs. Portheris " 
 
 " She is certainly a charming girl," said Mr. Maf- 
 ferton. 
 
 " And so well brought up," said I. 
 
 " Ye-es. Perhaps a little self-contained." 
 
 " She has no need to rely upon her conversation." 
 I observed. 
 
 " I don't know. The fact is " 
 
 "What is the fact?" I asked softly. "After all 
 that has passed I think I may claim your confidence, Mr. 
 Mafferton." I had some difficulty afterwards in justify- 
 ing this, but it seemed entirely appropriate at the time. 
 
 " The fact is, that up to three weeks ago I believed 
 Miss Portheris to be the incarnation of so many unas- 
 suming virtues and personal charms that I was almost 
 ready to make a fresh bid for domestic happiness in 
 her society. I have for some time wished to marry " 
 
 " I know," I said sympathetically. 
 
 " But during the last three weeks I have become a 
 little uncertain." 
 
 " There shouldn't be the slightest uncertainty," I 
 observed. 
 
 " Marriage in England is such a permanent institu- 
 tion." 
 
 I 
 
 . 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 199 
 
 r 
 
 *' I have known it to last for vears even in tlie United 
 States," I sighed. 
 
 " And it is a serious responsibility to undertake to 
 reciprocate in full the devotion of an attached wife." 
 
 " I fancy Isabel is a person of strong aifections," I 
 said; " one notices it with her mother. And any one 
 who could dote on Mrs. Portheris would certainly " 
 
 " I fear so," said Mr. Mufferton. 
 
 " I understand " I continued, '" whv vou hesitate. 
 And really, feeling as you do, I wouldn't be precipi- 
 tate." 
 
 " I won't," he said. 
 
 " Watch the state of your own heart," I counselled, 
 " for some little time. You mav be sure that hers will 
 not alter; " and, as we said good-night, I further sug- 
 gested that it would be a kindness if Mr. Mafferton 
 would join my lonely parent in the smoking-room. 
 
 I don't know what happened on the balcony after 
 that. 
 
CHAPTER XYI. 
 
 " Mamma," said Isabel, as we gathered in the hotel 
 vestibule for the start to Pompeii, '* is really not fit to 
 undertake it." 
 
 " You'll excuse me, Aunt Caroline," remarked the 
 Senator, " but your complexion isn't by any means 
 right yet. It's a warm day and a long drive. Just as 
 likelv as not vou'll be down sick after it." 
 
 " Stuff! " said Mrs. Portheris. " I thank mv stars 
 I have got no enfeebled American constitution. I am 
 perfectly equal to it, thank you." 
 
 " It's most unwise," observed Mr. Mafferton. 
 
 " Darned — I mean extremely risky," sighed Dicky. 
 
 Mrs. Portheris faced upon them. " And pray what 
 do you know about it?" she demanded. 
 
 Then momma put in her oar, taking most unguard- 
 edly a privilege of relationship. " Of course, you are 
 the best judge of how you feel yourself. Aunt Caro- 
 line, but we are told there are some steps to ascend 
 when we get there — and you know how fleshy you are." 
 
 In the instant of ominous silence which occurred 
 
 while Mrs. Portheris was getting her chin into the angle 
 
 of its greatest majesty, Mr. Mafferton considerately 
 
 200 
 
 ') 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 201 
 
 I 
 
 walked to the door. AVlicii it was accomplisiicd she 
 looked at nioninia sideways and down her nose, preeisely 
 in the manner of tiie late Air. Du Alaurier's ladies in 
 Panvli, in the same state of mind. She mi^ht have aut 
 or stood to him. It was another ideal realised. 
 
 " That is the latest, the very latest Americanism 
 which I have observed in yonr conversation, Angusta. 
 In your native land it may be admissible, but please 
 understand that 1 cannot permit it to be applied to me 
 personally. To English ears it is otfensive, very offen- 
 sive. It is also ([uite im})roper for you to assume any 
 familiarity with my iigure. As you say, / may be aware 
 of its corpulence, but nobody else — er — can possibly 
 know anything about it." 
 
 Alomma was speechless, and, as usual, the Senator 
 came to the rescue. lie never will allow momma to be 
 trampled on, and there was distinct retaliation in his 
 manner. " Look here, aunt," he said, " there's nothing 
 profane in saying you're fleshy when y<.)u are, you know, 
 and vou don't need to remove so much as your bonnet 
 strings for the general public to be aware of it. And 
 when you come to America don't you ever insult any- 
 body by calling her cor})ulent, which is r perfectly in- 
 decent expression. Xow if you won't go back to bed 
 and tranqTiillise your mind — on a plain soda " 
 
 " I won't," said Mrs. Portheris. 
 
 " De carriages is ?lready," said the head porter, glis- 
 tening with an amiability of which we all appreciated 
 the balm. And we entered the carriages — Mrs. Per- 
 
202 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATIOX. 
 
 tli(M'is 1111(1 tlic (lowiiciist Isabel and Mr. MaiTci't«tn in ono, 
 and iiioninia, poppa, Dicky, and 1 in the otiicr. For no 
 American wonld have been safe in Mrs. Portlieri.s's 
 carriage for at least two hours, and tliis came home ev(.'U 
 to Mr. Dod. 
 
 " Xever again!" exclaimed momma as we rattled 
 down among the narrow streets that crowd under the 
 Funicular railway. '' Xever again will I call that 
 wonum Aunt C^aroline." 
 
 '' Don't call her fleshy, my dear, that's what really 
 irritated her," remarked the Senator. The Senator's dis- 
 crimination, 1 have often noticed, is not the nicest thing 
 about him. 
 
 Hours and hours it seemed to take, that drive to 
 Pompeii. Past the andutious confecti<mer with his win- 
 dow full of cherry pies, each cherry round and red and 
 shining like a marble, and the, plate glass dry-goods store 
 where ready-made costumes were displayed that looked 
 as if they might fit just as badly as those of Westbourne 
 Grove, and so by degrees and always down hill through 
 narrower and shabbier streets where all the women 
 walked bareheaded and the shops were mostly turned 
 out on the pavement for the convenience of customers, 
 and a good many of them went up and down in wheel- 
 barrows. And often through narrow ways so high- 
 walled and many-windowed that it was quite cool and 
 dusky down below, and only a strip of sun showed far 
 up along the roofs of one side. Here and there a wheel- 
 barrow went strolling through these streets too, and we 
 
A V()YA(}K OF C'OXSOLATIOX. 
 
 2U3 
 
 h- 
 id 
 ar 
 i\- 
 
 saw at least one faiiilly marketing'. From a little sijuarc 
 window a jMVKli^ious way \\\) eaiiie, as we passed, a ery 
 with eiistom in it, an<l a wlieelltarrow paused hcncjith. 
 Then down fn»ni the window l)y a lonii', lon^- n»j>e slid 
 a basket from the hands of a youn^- woman leaning" 
 out in red, and the vendor took the o|)j)ort unity of sit- 
 ting down on his harrow handle till it arrived. Soldi 
 and a piece of paju-r he took out of the hasket and a 
 cahhage and onions he put in, and then it went swing- 
 ing ujjwards and he picked \\\) his harrow again, and wo 
 rattled on and hd't him shouting and pushing his hat 
 back — it was not a soft felt hut a howler — to look up 
 at the other windows. Tn spite of tlie howler it was a 
 picturesque and Xeajiolitan incident, and it left us much 
 divided as to the contents of the piece oi ])aper. 
 
 " My idea is," said the Senator, '" that the y(»ung 
 woman in the red jersey was the hired girl and that note 
 was what yon might call a clandestine communication.'' 
 
 " Since we are in Xaples," remarked ]Mr. Dod, '' I 
 think. Senator, your deduction is correct. Where we 
 come from a slavey with any self-respect would put her 
 sentiments on a gilt-edged corres})ondence card in a 
 scented envelope with a stamp on the outside and ask 
 you to kindly drop it into the pillar box on your way to 
 business; but this chimes in with all vou read about 
 Naples." 
 
 "Perfectly ridiculous!" said momma. "Mark my 
 
 words, that note was either a list of vegetables wanted, 
 
 or an intimation that if they weren't going to be fresher 
 U 
 
204 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 than the last, that man needn't stop for orders in future. 
 And in a country as destitute of elevators as this one 
 is I suppose you couldn't keep a servant a week if you 
 didn't let her siive the stairs somehow. But I must say 
 if I were going to have cabbage and onions the same day 
 1 wouldn't like the neighbours to know it." 
 
 I entirely agreed with monnna, and was reflecting, 
 while they talked of something else, on the injustice of 
 considering ours the sentimental sex, when the Senator 
 leaned forward and advised me in an undertone to make 
 a note of the market basket. 
 
 '^ And take my theory to account for the piece of 
 paper," said he; " your mother's may be the most likely, 
 but mine is icJiat the public will expect.^* 
 
 And ahvavs the shadows of the narrow streets 
 crooked in the end into a little plaza full of sun and 
 beggars, and lemonade stands, and hawkers of wild 
 strawberries, and when the great bank of a flower-stall 
 stood just where the shadow ended sharply and the sun 
 be. ran, it made something to remember. After that our 
 way lay through a suburban parish fele, and we pursued 
 it under strings and strings of little glass lanterns, red, 
 and green, and blue, that swung across the streets; and 
 there were goats and more children, and momma vainly 
 endeavoured to keep off the smells with her i)arasol. 
 Then a region of docks and masts rising unexpectedly, 
 and many little fish shops, and a glitter of scales on the 
 pavement, and disconnected coils of rope, and lounging 
 men with earrings, and unkempt women with babies, 
 
 '. : 
 
 
I IliiiapfRi. Hif VI on 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 205 
 
 rcet3 
 and 
 
 wild 
 
 -stall 
 sun 
 
 t our 
 sued 
 red, 
 and 
 
 ainly 
 asol. 
 edly, 
 the 
 
 ging 
 Lies, 
 
 and above and over all 'lie warm scent, standing still 
 in the sun, of hemp, and tar, and the sea. 
 
 '' The city," said the Senator, casting- his practised 
 eye on a piece of dead wall that ran along the pavement, 
 *' is evidently in the turmoil of a general election, though 
 you mightn't notice it. It's the third tinu* I've seen 
 those })osters "Vlra il Prcfflto!^ and M'/ra Uoppo- 
 sizionc! ' That seems to be about all they can do, just 
 as if we contented ourselves with yelling ' 'Kali for 
 Brvan! ' ' One more for ]\rcKinley! ' I must sav if 
 they haven't any more notion of business than that they 
 don't either of 'em deserve to get there." 
 
 " In France," observed Mr. Dod, " they stick up 
 little handbills addressed to their ' cliers conciloyens ' as 
 if voters were a lot of baa-lambs and willie-bovs. It 
 makes enervating reading." 
 
 " Young man," said pop])a in a burst of feeling, 
 " they say the American eagle might keej) her beak shut 
 with advantage, more than she does; but I tell you," 
 and the Senator's hand came down hard on Dicky's 
 knee, " a trip around Eurojie is enough to turn her into 
 a singing bird, sir, a singing bird." 
 
 I don't get my imagination entirely from momma, 
 
 '^Vira il Prcfctfo! Vira Uoppoxizionr! " ])oppa re- 
 peated pityingly, as another ytnlr of posters came in sight. 
 " Well, it won't ever do the Government of Italy any 
 good, but I guess I'm with the Opposizione.^^ 
 
 The road grew emptier and sandy white, and com- 
 merce forsook it but for here and there a little shop with 
 
I 
 
 I 
 
 20G A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 fat yellow bags, which were the people's cheeses, hang- 
 ing in bladders at the door. Crumbled gateways began 
 to appear, and we saw through them that the villa gar- 
 dens inside ran down and dropped their rose leaves into 
 the blue of the ^lediterranean. AVe met the country 
 people going their ways to town ; they looked at us with 
 friendly patronage, knowing all about us, what we had 
 come to see, and the foolishness of it, and especially 
 the ridiculous cost of caruzza that take people to Pom- 
 peii. And at last, just as the sun and the jolting and 
 the powdery white dust combined had instigated us all 
 to suggest to the Senator how much better it would have 
 been to come by rail, the ponies made a glad and jingling 
 sweep imder the acacias of the Hotel Diomede, which is 
 at the portals of Pompeii. 
 
 It seemed a casual and a cheerful place, full of open 
 doors and i)roprietary Xeapolitans who might have been 
 brothers and sisters-in-law, whose conversation we inter- 
 rupted coming in. There had been domestic ])otations; 
 a very fat lady, with a horn comb in her hair, wiped 
 liquid rings off the table with her apron, removing the 
 glasses, while a collarless male person with an agreeable 
 smile and a soft felt hat placed wooden chairs for us in 
 a row. Poppa knows no Italian, but they seemed to 
 imderstand from what he said that we wanted things to 
 drink, and brought us with surprising accuracy precisely 
 what each of us preferred, lemonade for momma and 
 me, and beverages consisting largely, though not en- 
 tirely, of soda water for the Senator and Mr. Dod. 
 
F"«J"^/»^»W-v,' \'"fiV "V"IP4J|I 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 207 
 
 in 
 to 
 to 
 icly 
 ind 
 en- 
 od. 
 
 ^^hile we refreshed ourselves, another, elderly, grizzled, 
 and one-eyed, eame and took up a position just outside 
 the door opposite and sang a song of adventurous love, 
 boxing his own ears in the chorus with the liveliest 
 effect. A further agreeable person waited upon us and 
 informed us that he was the interpreter, he would every- 
 thing explain to us, that this was a beggar man who 
 wanted us to give him some small money, but tliere was 
 no compulsion if we did not wish to do so. I think he 
 gave us that interpretation for nothing. The fat lady 
 then i)roduced a large fan which she waved over us 
 assiduousl , . and the colhirless man in the soft hat stood 
 by to render aid in any further emergency, smiling upon 
 us as if we were delicacies out of season. Poppa bore 
 it as long as he could, and we all made an unsuccessful 
 effort to appear as if we were quite accustomed to as 
 much attention and more in the hotels of America; but 
 in a very few minutes we knew all the disadvantages 
 of being of too much importance. Presently the one- 
 eyed man gave w^ay to a pair of players on the flute and 
 mandolin. 
 
 " Look here," said poppa at this, to the interpreter, 
 *^ you folks are putting yourselves out on our account a 
 great deal more than is necessary. We are just ordi- 
 nary travelling puldic, and you don't need to enter- 
 tain us with side shows that we haven't ordered anv 
 more than if we belonged to your own town. See? " 
 But the interpreter did not see. He beckoned instead 
 to an engaging daughter of the fat lady, who approached 
 
208 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 modestly with a large book of pliotograplis, which she 
 opened before the Senator, kneeling beside his chair. 
 
 "Great Scott!" exclaimed poppa, "I'm not a 
 crowned head. Rise, Miss Diomede." 
 
 Removing his cigar, he assisted the young lady to 
 her feet and led her to a sofa at the other end of the 
 room, where, as they turned over the photograplis to- 
 gether, I heard him ask her if she ol)jected to tobacco. 
 
 "You may go," said momma to the 'iiterpreter, 
 " and explain the scenes. ^h\ Wick will enjoy them 
 much more if he understands them." The freedom from 
 conventional restraint Avhich characterises American 
 society very seldom extends to married gentlemen. 
 
 AVe had to wait twenty minutes for the other party, 
 on account of their British objection to anybody's dust. 
 Even Mr. Mafferton looked quelled when they arrived, 
 and Isabel quite abject, while INIrs. Portheris wore that 
 air of justification which no circumstance could inqiair, 
 which was particularly her own. She would not sit 
 down. " It gives these people a claim on you," she 
 said. " I did not come here to run up an hotel l)ill, but 
 to see Pompeii. Pompeii I demand to see." The play- 
 ers on the flute and mandolin looked at Mrs. Portheris 
 consideringly and then strolled away, and the guide, 
 with a sorrowful glance at the landlady, put on his hat. 
 " I can explain you everything," he said with an in- 
 flection that placed the responsibility for remaining in 
 ignorance upon our own heads, but Mrs. Portheris waved 
 him away with her fan. " No," she said. " I beg that 
 
 J 
 
 . 
 

 sit 
 she 
 but 
 |)lav- 
 leris 
 lide, 
 Ihat. 
 in- 
 in 
 ived 
 that 
 
 
 " I'm not a crowned head I " 
 
 I 
 
1 
 
:TWWVJ*(tW»'..;",1,»lll'i^l 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 200 
 
 this man shall not be allowed to inflict himself upon our 
 party. I particularly desire to form my own im[)ression 
 of the historic city, that city that did so much for the 
 reputation of Sir Henry Bulwer Lytton. liesides, these 
 people mount up ridiculously, and with servants at home 
 on half wages, and C^onsols in the state tluy are, one is 
 really compelled to economise." 
 
 It was difficult to protest against Mrs. Portheris's 
 regulations, and impossible to contravene them, so I 
 have nothing to report of that guide but his card, which 
 bore the name " Antonio Plicco," and his memory, 
 which is a blank. 
 
 There was an ascent, and ^Irs. Portheris mounted 
 it proudly. I pointed out to poppa half-way uj) that 
 his esteemed relative hadn't turned a hair, but he was 
 inclined to be incredulous: said vou couldn't tell what 
 was going on in the Department of the Interior. The 
 Senator often uses a political reference to carry him 
 over, a delicate allusion. Flowering shrubs and bushes 
 lined the path we climbed, silent in the sunshine, dustily 
 decorative, and at the top the turning of a key let us into 
 a strange place. Always a strange place, however often 
 the guide-books beat their iterations upon it, a place that 
 leaps at imagination, peering into other days through 
 the mists that lie between, and blinds it with a rush of 
 light — the place where they have gathered together 
 wdiat was left of the dead Pompeiians and their world. 
 There they lay before us for our wonderment as they 
 ran, and tripped, and struggled, and fell in the night of 
 
210 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 tliat (lay wlicii they and tlu; ^ods together were over- 
 wlieliiied, and tliev died as tliev tlioiii>;lit in the end of 
 time. And througli an open d<jor Vesuvius sent up its 
 eternal gentle woolly eurl again the daylight sky, and 
 vineyards throve, and birds sang, and we, who had sur- 
 vived the gods, came curious to look. The figures lay in 
 glass cases, and Dicky remarked, with unusual serious- 
 ness, that it was like a dead-house. 
 
 ^' Except," said poppa, " that in this mortuary there 
 isn't ever going to be anybody who can identify the re- 
 mains. When you come to think of it — that's kind of 
 hard." 
 
 '^ ^o chance of Christian burial once you get into a 
 museum," said Dick with solicitude. 
 
 " I should like," remarked Mrs. Portheris, polishing 
 her piiice nez to get a better view of a mother and 
 daughter h'ing on their faces. " I should like to see 
 the clergyman avIio would attempt it. These people 
 were heathen, and richly deserved their fate. Richly! '* 
 
 Momma looked at her husband's Aunt Caroline with 
 indignant scorn. " Do you really think so? " she asked, 
 but we could all see that her w^ords were a very inade- 
 quate expression for her emotions. ^Irs. Portheris drew 
 all the guns of her orthodoxy into line for battle. " I 
 
 am surprised " she began, and then the Senator 
 
 politely but firmly interfered. 
 
 " Ladies," he said, " 'De mortuis nisi honum,^ which 
 is to say it isn't customary to slang corpses, especially, 
 as you may say, in their presence. I guess we can all 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 211 
 
 ivl" 
 
 "be thankful, anyhow, that heatlicn nowadays have <j,<)t 
 a cooler earth to live on," and that for tlie moment was 
 the end of it, hut monnna still gazed connniscratingly 
 at the figures, with a suspicious tendency to look for 
 her handkerchief. 
 
 '' It's too terrible," she said. " We can actually sec 
 their feed u res. ^^ 
 
 *' Don't let them get on your nerves, Augusta," sug- 
 gested poppa. 
 
 " I won't if I can help it. But when you see their 
 clothes and their hair and realise " 
 
 " It hapi)ened over eighteen hundred years ago, my 
 dear, and most of them got away." 
 
 " That didn't make it anv better for those who are 
 now before us," and momma used her handkerchief 
 threateningly, though it was only in connection with her 
 nose. 
 
 " Well now, Augusta, I hate to destroy an illusion 
 like that, because they're not to be bought with money, 
 but since you're determined to work yourself up over 
 these unfortunates, I've got to expose them to you. 
 They're not the genuine remains you take them for. 
 Thev're mere worthless imitations." 
 
 " Alexander," said momma suspiciously, ^' you never 
 hesitate to tamper with the truth if you think it will 
 make me any more comfortable. I don't believe you." 
 
 "All right," returned the Senator; "when we get 
 home you ask Bramley. It was Bramley that put me 
 on to it. Whenever one of those Pompeii fellows 
 
212 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 (ln)})p('(l, the aslios kind of caked over liini, and In tlio 
 eoiirse of time there was a hole where he had been. 
 See? And what you're looking at is just a coUection 
 of those holes tilled up with composition and then dug 
 out. Mere holes! " 
 
 " The illusion is dreadfully perfect," sighed mom- 
 ma. " Fancy dying like a baked potato in hot ashes! 
 Somehow, Alexander, I don't seem able to get over it," 
 and momma gazed with distressed fascination at the 
 grim form of the negro porter. 
 
 "" We've got no proper grounds for coming to that 
 conclusion either," replied jjoppa iirndy. " Just as 
 likely they were suffocated by the gas that came up out 
 of the ground." 
 
 "Oh, if T could think that!" momma exclaimed 
 with relief. " l>ut if I find you've been deceiving me, 
 Alexander, I'll never forgive you. It's ioo solemn! " 
 
 " You ask l>randey," I heard the Senator reply. 
 " And now come and tell me if this loaf of bread some- 
 body baked eighteen hundred and twenty something 
 years ago isn't exactly the same shape as the Xaples 
 bakers are selling right now." 
 
 " Daughter," said momma as she went, " I hope you 
 are taking copious notes. This is the wonder of wonders 
 that we behold to-day." I said I was, and I wandered 
 over to where Mrs. Portheris examined with jMr. Maf- 
 ferton an c^g; that was laid on the last day of Pompeii. 
 Mrs. Portheris was asking ]Mr. Mafferton, in her most 
 impressive manner, if it was not too wonderful to have 
 
} 
 
 )> 
 
 me, 
 
 )C YOU 
 
 t. 
 
 londers 
 idercd 
 \. :Maf- 
 ympeii. 
 tr most 
 to "have 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 213 
 
 positive i)r()()f that fowls hiid eggs then just as they do 
 now; and I made a note of that too. Dicky and Isabel 
 bemoaned tlie fate of the immortal dog who still bites 
 Lis Hank in the i)ain extinguished so long ago. I hardly 
 liked to disturl) them, but 1 heard Diekv sav as 1 i)assed 
 that he didn't mind mueh about the humans, thev had 
 their chanee, but this poor little old tyke was tied up, 
 and that on the part of Providence was playing it low 
 down. 
 
 Then we all stejiped out into the empty streets of 
 Pompeii and Air. Matferton read to us impressively, 
 from Alurray, the younger Pliny's letter to Tacitus de- 
 scribing its great disaster. The Senator listened thonght- 
 fullv, for Plinv goes into all kinds of interesting details. 
 " I haven't much accpuiintance with the classics," said 
 he, as Mr. ^Mafferton finished, '' but it strikes me that 
 the modern Xew York newspa})er was the medium to do 
 that man justice. It's the most remarkabh; case I've 
 noticed of a good reporter horn ho fore his timc.''^ 
 
 " A terrible retribution," said Airs. Portheris, look- 
 ing severely at the Tavern of Pluebus, forever empty of 
 wine-bibbers. " Tfiey worshi])ped Jupiter, I understand, 
 and other deities even less res])ectable. Can we wonder 
 that a volcano was sent to destroy them! One thing we 
 may be qnite snre of — if the city had only turned from 
 its wickedness and embraced Christianity, this never 
 would have happened." 
 
 Momma compressed her lips and then relaxed them 
 again to say, " I think that idea perfectly ridiculous." 
 
214 
 
 A VOYACiK OF COXSOLATIOX. 
 
 T Hcciitod l)jittl(' i\\u\ Imii^' upon tlic issue, but tlio Scuta- 
 tor for the third time interposed. 
 
 " Why no, Augusta," lie said, " I guess tliat's a 
 Avorkin^ liypothesis of Aunt Caroline's. Here's Vesu- 
 vius sniokin' awav ever sinee just the same, and tliere's 
 Naples witli a hishoj) and the relies of Saint Januarius. 
 You can read in your guide-book that whenever Vesu- 
 vius has looked as if he meant ])usiness for the past few 
 hundred years, the people of Xaples have simply called 
 on the hisliop to take out the relies of Saint Januarius 
 and walk 'em round the town; and that's alwavs been 
 enough for Vesuvius. Xow the Pomi)eii folks didn't 
 know a saint or a bishop by sight, and Jupiter, as Aunt 
 Caroline says, was never properly (pialified to interfere. 
 That's how it was, I \n'esume. I don't supjiose the peo- 
 ple of Xaples take much stoek in the laws of nature; 
 they don't have to, with Januarius in a drawer. And 
 real estate keeps booming right along." 
 
 " You have an extraordinary way of putting things," 
 remarked Mrs. Portheris to her nephew. '' Very ex- 
 traordinary. But I am glad to hear that you agree with 
 me," and she looked as if she did not understand mom- 
 ma's acquiescent smile. 
 
 We went our several ways to see the baths, and the 
 Comic Theatre, the bakehouse and the gymnasium; and 
 I had a little walk by myself , in the Street of Abundance, 
 where the little empty houses waited patiently on either 
 side for those to return who had gone out, and the sun 
 lay full on their floors of dusty mosaic, and their gar- 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 21i 
 
 ;« a 
 
 'esu- 
 irius. 
 
 t few 
 -ailed 
 
 uirivis 
 [ been 
 didn't 
 , Aunt 
 erf ere. 
 Hi peo- 
 latnre; 
 And 
 
 lungs, 
 rv ex- 
 [ee with 
 mom- 
 
 dens where nothing' «2:r('\v. It sccincd to me, as it seems 
 to I'vcrylxxlv, tiiat J^oiiipcii was not dead, l)Ut aslt't'}), 
 and licr tints were so clear and ^ay that iier (h'canis 
 nnglit he those of a haUct-iiirh A solitary yellow dog 
 chased a lizard in the sun, and the jtehhlis he knocked 
 about made an ai>sui'dlv (list\;r))inii' noise. IJevond the 
 vague tinted rootless walls that stretched over the ))leas- 
 ant little j)eninsula, the blue sea ripple*! tenderly, re- 
 mend)ering much delight, and the place seemed to snnle 
 in its sleei). It was easv to understand whv Cicero 
 
 it/ * 
 
 chose to have his villa in the uudst of such lightdieart- 
 edness, and why tlie gods, perhai)s, decided that they 
 liad lent too much laughter to Pompeii. I made free 
 of the hospitality of (.'ornelius Rufus and sat for a while 
 in his c.vcdra, where he himself, in marble on a little 
 pillar in the nuddle of the room, made me as welcome as 
 if I had been a client or a neighbour. AVe cons 'dered 
 each other across the centuries, making mutual alhjw- 
 ances, and spent the most sociable half-hour. I take 
 a personal interest in the city's disaster now — it over- 
 whelmed one of mv friends. 
 
 land the 
 Im; and 
 Indance, 
 In either 
 I the sun 
 leir gar- 
 
' "■" — I 
 
 CIIAPTEK XVII. 
 
 Ox the lAiiigarno in Florciico, in tlic cool of the 
 evening, we walked together, the Senator, nionnna, 
 Dicky, and I. Dicky radiated depression, if such a 
 thing is atniosplierically possible; we all moved in it. 
 Mr. Dod had been banished from the Portheris party, 
 and he groaned over the reflection that it was his own 
 fault. At Pompeii I had exerted myself in his interest 
 to such an extent that Mr. MatFerton detached himself 
 from Mrs. Portheris and attached himself to momma 
 for the drive home. Little did I realise that one could 
 be too agreeable in a good cause. Dicky insinuated him- 
 self with ditiiculty into Mr. MalTerton's vacant place 
 opposite Mrs. Portheris, and even before the carriages 
 started I saw that he was going to have a bad time. His 
 own version of the experience was painful in the ex- 
 treme, and he represented the climax as having occurred 
 just as they arrived at the hotel. The unfortunate youth 
 must have been goaded to his fate, for his general atti- 
 tude toward matters of orthodoxy was most discreet. 
 
 " There is something Bihlical,^^ said ^Ers. Portheris 
 (so Dicky related), " that those Pompeiian remains re- 
 mind me of, and I cannot think what it is." 
 
 216 
 
 i 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 217 
 
 place 
 triages 
 His 
 lie ex- 
 ;urred 
 youth 
 il atti- 
 (ct. 
 
 'tlieris 
 lins re- 
 
 *' Lot's wife, inainma?" said Isabel. 
 
 ^^ Quite rig'.it, my child — what a lueinory you have! 
 That wreteheJ woman who stopju'd to look hack at the 
 city wlieiH? careless friends and relatives were enjoying 
 themselves, indilferent to their coming fate, in direct 
 disobedience to the command. Of course, she turned to 
 salt, and these people to ashes, but she must have looked 
 very nuicli like them when the process was com[»leted.'' 
 
 That was Dicky's opportunity for restraint and sub- 
 mission, but he seemed to have been physically unable 
 to take it. lie rushed, instead, blindly to perdition. 
 " I don't believe that yarn," he said. 
 
 There was a moment's awful silence, during whicli 
 Dicky said he counted his heart-beats and felt as if he 
 had announced himself an atheist or a Jew, and then 
 his sentence fell. 
 
 " In that case, ^Ir. Dod, I must infer that you are 
 opposed to the doctrine of the coni|)lete insi)iration of 
 Holy Writ. If you tlo not believe in that, I shudder to 
 think of what vou nuiv not believe in. I will sav no 
 more now, but after dinner I will be obliged to sj)eak 
 to vou for a few nnnutes, ])rivatcdv. Thank vou, I can 
 get out without assistance." 
 
 And after dinner, j)rivat(dy, Dicky learned that ]\trs. 
 Portheris had for some time been seriously considering 
 the effect of his, to her, ])ainfully llipjxint views, upon 
 the opening mind of her daughter — the child had only 
 been out six months — and that his distressing announce- 
 ment of this morning left her in no further doubt as to 
 
218 
 
 A VOYAGE OF COXSOLATIOX. 
 
 lii 
 
 her path of duty. She would always endeavour to have 
 as kindly a recollection of him as possible, he had really 
 been very obliging, but for the j)resent she must ask hirii 
 to make some other travelling arrangements. Cook, she 
 believed, would always change one's tickets less ten per 
 cent., but she would leave that to Dicky. And she 
 hoped, she sincerely hoped, that time would improve his 
 views. When that was accomplished she trusted he 
 would write and tell her, but not before. 
 
 " And while I'm getting good and ready to pass an 
 examination in Xoah, Jonah, and Methuselah," re- 
 marked Dicky bitterly, as we discussed the situation on 
 the Lungarno for the seventh time that day, '' Maffcr- 
 ton sails in." 
 
 " AYliy didn't you tell her plainly that you wanted 
 to marry Isabel, and would brook no opposition?" 
 I demanded, for my stock of sympathy was getting 
 low. 
 
 *' Xow that's a valuable suggestion, isn't it?" re- 
 tured Mr. Dod with sarcasm. " Good old psychological 
 moment that was, wasn't it? Talk about girls having 
 tact! Besides, I've never told Isabel herself yet, and 
 I'm not the American to give in to the effete and decav- 
 ing custom of asking a girl's poppa, or momma if it's a 
 case of widow, first. Xot Richard Dod." 
 
 " What on earth," I exclaimed, " have you been 
 doing all this time? " 
 
 " Xow go slow, Mamie, and don't look at me like 
 that. I've been trying to make her acquainted with 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 211) 
 
 ve 
 
 iiy 
 
 irii 
 3lie 
 per 
 she 
 liis 
 . lie 
 
 ^s an 
 ' re- 
 al ou 
 affcr- 
 
 anted 
 
 fi 
 
 lon^ 
 etting 
 
 I " re- 
 logical 
 liiiving 
 
 jt, a 
 
 nd 
 
 decay- 
 If it's a 
 
 been 
 
 ne 
 
 like 
 fed witli 
 
 me — explaining the kind of fellow I am — getting solid 
 with her. See i " 
 
 " Showing her the beauties of your character! '' I 
 exclaimed derisively. 
 
 " I said something about the defects, too," said 
 Dicky modestly, "" though not so much. And 1 was get- 
 ting on beautifully, though it isn't so easy with an Eng- 
 lish girl. They don't seem to think it's proper to analyse 
 your character. They're so maidenly." 
 
 " And so unenterprising," 1 said, but I said it to 
 myself. 
 
 " Isabel was actually beginning to lead up to the 
 suhject,^^ Dicky went on. " She asked me the other 
 dav if it was true that all American men were flirts. In 
 
 t,' 
 
 another week I should have felt that she would know 
 what was proposing to her." 
 
 "And you were going to wait another week^" 
 " Well, a man wants every advantage," said Dicky 
 blandly. 
 
 " Did you explain to Isabel that you were only join- 
 ing our party in the hope of meeting her accidentally 
 
 soon agam 
 
 ?" 
 
 *^ What else," asked he in pained surprise, " should 
 I have joined it for? Xo, I didn't; I hadn't the chance, 
 for one thing. You took the first train back to Rome 
 next morning, you know. She wasn't up." 
 
 " True," I responded. " Momma said not another 
 
 hour of her husband's Aunt Caroline would she ever 
 
 willingly endure. She said she would spend her entire 
 15 
 
220 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 life, if necessary, in avoiding the woman." But Dicky 
 liad not followed the drift of my thought. 
 
 I added vaguely, " I hope she will understand it " 
 — I really couldn't be more definite — and bade Mr. J)od 
 good-night. lie held my hand absent-mindedly for a 
 moment, and mentioned the effectiveness of the Ponte 
 Vecchio from that point of view. 
 
 *' I didn't feel bound to change my tickets less ten 
 per cent.," he said hopefully, " and we're sure to come 
 across them early and often. In the meantime you 
 might try and soften me a little — about Lot's wife." 
 
 Xext day, in the Ufizzi, it was no surprise to meet 
 the Miss Binghams. We had a guilty consciousness of 
 fellow-citizenship as we recognised them, and did our 
 best to look as if two weeks were quite long enough to 
 be forgotten in, but they seemed chra'itable and forgiv- 
 ing on this account, said they had looked out for us 
 everywhere, and had we seen the cuttings in the Vati- 
 can ? 
 
 " The statues, you know," explained Miss Cora 
 kindly, seeing that we did not comprehend. " Marvel- 
 lous — simply marvellous! AVe enjoyed nothing so much 
 as the marble dejiartment. It takes it out of you though 
 — we were awfully done afterwards." 
 
 I wondered what Phidias would have said to the 
 " cuttings," and whether the ^^liss Binghams imagined it 
 a Briticism. It also occurred to me that one should never 
 mix one's colloquialisms; but that, of course, did not 
 prevent their coming round with us. I believe they 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 221 
 
 cky 
 
 it" 
 Dod 
 or a 
 'onte 
 
 s ten 
 come 
 
 . you 
 
 J) 
 
 , meet 
 less of 
 id our 
 ng\i to 
 
 orgiv- 
 
 for us 
 D Yati- 
 
 Cora 
 Marvel- 
 o much 
 though 
 
 to the 
 loined it 
 lid never 
 
 did not 
 3ve they 
 
 did it partly to diffuse tlieir guide aiii(mi>; a larger i)arty. 
 lie was hanging, as tlii'v vmiw up, npon ^liss Cora's 
 rehietant earring, so to speak, and slie was nieehanically 
 saying, '' Yes! Yes! Yes! " to liis representations. " 1 
 suppose," said she inadvertently, " there is no way of 
 prerf/i/ing their giving one information," and after that 
 when she hospitably pressed the guide upon us we felt 
 at liberty to be unappreciative. 
 
 I regret to write it of two maiden ladies of good 
 New York family, and a knowledge of the world; but 
 the Miss Binghams capitulated to Dicky Dod with a 
 promptness and unanimity which would have been very 
 bad for him if nobodv had been there to counteract its 
 
 t, 
 
 effects. lie walked between them through the vesti- 
 bules, absorbing a flow of tribute from each side with 
 a con.placency which his recent trying experiences made 
 all the more profound. There was always a something, 
 Miss Xancv declared, about an American who had made 
 his home in England — you could always tell. " In your 
 case, ]\Ir. Dod, there is an association of Bond Street. T 
 can't describe it, but it is there. I hope you don't mind 
 my saying so." 
 
 " Oh, no," said Dicky, " I guess it's my taih)r. lie 
 lives in Bond Street; " but this was artless and not 
 ironical, ^liss Cora went further. " I should have 
 taken ^Ir. Dod for an Englishman," she said, at which 
 the miscalculated Mr. Dod looked alarmed. 
 
 " Is that so?" he responded. " Then I'll book my 
 passage back at once. I've been over there too long. 
 
I, ! I 
 
 222 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 You see I've been kind of obliged to stay for reasons 
 connected with the firm, but you ladies can take my 
 word for it that when you get through this sort of 
 ridiculous veneer I've picked up you'll find a regular 
 all-wool-and-a-yard-wide city-of-Chicago American, and 
 I'm bound to ask you not to forget it. This English 
 way of talking is a thing that grows on a fellow uncon- 
 sciously, don't you know. It wears off when you get 
 home." 
 
 At which Miss Cora and Miss ^ancy looked at each 
 other smilingly and repeated '' Don't you know " in de- 
 risive echo, and we all felt that our young friend had 
 been too modest about his acquirements. 
 
 " But we mustn't neglect our old masters," cried 
 Miss Xancy as those of the first corridor began to slip 
 past us on the walls, w4tli no desire to interrupt. " AVliat 
 do you think of this Greek Byzantine style, Mr. Wick? 
 Somehow it doesn't seem to appeal to me, though wheth- 
 er it's the flatness — or wdiat " 
 
 " It is flat, certainly," agreed the Senator, " but 
 that's a very popular style of angel for Christmas cards 
 — the more expensive kinds. Here, I suppose, we get 
 the original." 
 
 " That is Tuscan school, sir — madam," put in the 
 guide, " and not angel — Saint Cecilia. Fourteen cen- 
 tury, but we do not know that artiss his name. In the 
 book you will see Cimabue, but it is not Cimabue — 
 unknown artiss." 
 
 *' Dear me ! " cried momma. " St. Cecilia, of course. 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 223 
 
 reasons 
 ake my 
 sort of . 
 regular 
 an, and 
 English 
 7 uncon- 
 you get 
 
 L at each 
 " in de- 
 end had 
 
 3," cried 
 
 n to slip 
 
 '' What 
 
 . Wick? 
 
 1 wheth- 
 
 )r, "but 
 has cards 
 L we get 
 
 It in the 
 leen cen- 
 In the 
 labue — 
 
 If course. 
 
 Don't you remember her expression — in the Cata- 
 combs? " 
 
 " She's sweet, ahvavs and evorvwhere," said ^Vliss 
 Cora, as we moved on, leaving the guide explaining St. 
 Cecilia with his hands behind his back. '' And vou did 
 go to Capri after all? Now I wonder, Xancy, if they 
 had our experience about the oysters?" 
 
 " A horrid little man! " cried momma. 
 
 " Who showed you the way to the steamer " 
 
 " And hung around doing things the whole endur- 
 ing time," continued my parent, as Mark Antony's 
 daughter turned her head aside, and Drusus, the brother 
 of Tiberius, frowned upon our passing. 
 
 "He must have been our man!" cried both the 
 Misses Bingham, with excitement. 
 
 " In the manner of Taddeo Gaddi," interrupted the 
 guide, surprising us on the flank with a Holy Family. 
 
 " All right," said the Senator. " Well, this fellow 
 proposed to bring our party oysters on the steamer, and 
 we took him, of course, for the steward's tout '* 
 
 " Exactly what we thought." 
 
 " Since you are going to tell the story, Alexander, 
 I may remind you that he said they were the best in the 
 world," remarked momma, with several degrees of frost. 
 
 " My dear, the anecdote is yours. But you remem- 
 ber I told him they wouldn't be in it with Blue Points." 
 
 " Now ivhat,^^ exclaimed Miss Nancy, with excite- 
 ment, " did he ask you for them? " 
 
 Three francs a head, Nancy, \vasn't it, Mrs. Wick? 
 
 u 
 
;r^ 
 
 iltp w pwp ; WI^P »tW^— WW 
 
 224 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 And you gave the order, and the man disappeared. 
 And you thought he'd gone to get them; at least, we 
 did. Xancy here had perfect confidence in him. She 
 said he had such dog-like eyes, and we were both per- 
 fectly certain they would be served when the steamer 
 
 stopped at the Blue Grotto " Miss Cora paused to 
 
 smile. 
 
 " But they weren't," suggested momma feebly. 
 
 " Xo, indeed, and hadn't the slightest intention of 
 being." Miss Xancy took up the tale. " Xot until we 
 were taking off our gloves in the hotel verandah, and 
 making up our minds to a good hot lunch, did those 
 oysters appear — exactly half a dozen, and bread and 
 butter extra! And we couldn't say we hadn't ordered 
 them. And the lunch was only two francs fifty, complet. 
 But we felt we ought to content ourselves with the 
 oysters, though, of course, you wouldn't with gentle- 
 men in your party. Xow, what course did you pursue, 
 Mrs. Wick?" 
 
 " Really," said momma distantly, " I don't remem- 
 ber. I believe we had enough to eat. Surely that is 
 little Moses being taken from the bulrushes! How it 
 adds to one's interest to recognise the subject." 
 
 " By B. Luti," responded Miss Xancy. " I hope he 
 isn't very well knowm, for I never heard of him before. 
 Xow, there's a Domenichino; I can tell it from here. 
 I do love Domenichino, don't you ? " 
 
 I suppose the Senator knew that momma didn't love 
 Domenichino, and would possibly be at a loss to say 
 
 f , 
 
)peared. 
 jast, we 
 u. She 
 otli per- 
 steamcr 
 aused to 
 
 jly. 
 
 ntion of 
 until we 
 :lali, and 
 lid those 
 L-ead and 
 t ordered 
 compht. 
 with the 
 gentle- 
 \i pursue, 
 
 remem- 
 y that is 
 How it 
 
 I hope he 
 m before, 
 om here. 
 
 idn't love 
 iss to say 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 225 
 
 whj^; at all events, he remarked that, talking of Capri, 
 he hoped the Miss Binghanis had not felt as badly about 
 inconveniencing the donkeys that took them t(> the top 
 of the cliff as momma had. '' Mrs. Wick," he informed 
 them, " rode an ass by the name of Michael Angelo, per- 
 fectly accustomed to the climate, and, do you believe 
 it, she held her parasol over that animal's head the 
 whole wav." At which evervbodv laughed, and mom- 
 ma, invested with an original and amiable weakness, 
 was appeased. 
 
 " Of Michelangelo we have not here much," said the 
 guide patiently. '' Drawings yes, and one holy Family 
 — magnificent! But all in another room wich " 
 
 '' Xow what Bramlev said about the T'fizzi was this," 
 continued the Senator. " ' You'll see on those walls,' 
 he said, ' the best picture show in the world, both for 
 pedigree and quality of goods displayed. I'd go as far 
 as to say they're all worth looking at, even those that 
 have been presented to the institution. But don't you 
 look at them,' Bramley said, ' as a whole. You keep 
 all your absorbing power for one apartment,' he said — 
 ' the Tribune. You'll want it.' Bramley gave mc to 
 understand that it wasn't any use he didn't profess to 
 be able to describe his sublimer emotions, but when ho 
 sat down in the Tribune he had a sort of instinctive idea 
 that he'd got the cream of it — he didn't want to go any 
 further." 
 
 We decided, therefore, in spite of such minor attrac- 
 tions as those of Mobe and her daughters, at once to 
 
^ 
 
 22G 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 achieve the Tribune, feeling, as jjoppa said, that it would 
 be most unfortunate to have our admiration all used up 
 before we reached it. The guide led the way, and it 
 was beguiled with the fascinating experience of the Miss 
 Bin^hanis, who had met Queen Marguerite driving in 
 the Villa Borghese at Home and had received a bow 
 from her Majesty of which nothing would ever be able 
 'to deprive them. " Of course we drew up to let her 
 pass," said ]\Iiss Xancy, '' and were careful not to make 
 ourselves in any way conspicuous, merely standing up in 
 the carriage as an ordinary mark of respect. And she 
 looked charming, all in pink and white, with a faded old. 
 maid of honour that set her off beautifully, didn't she, 
 Cora? And such a pretty smile she gave us — they say 
 she likes the better class of Americans." 
 
 " Oh, we've nothing to regret about Rome," rejoined 
 Cora. *' Even Peter's toe. I wouldn't have kissed it 
 at the time if the guide hadn't said it was really Jupi- 
 ter's. I was sure our dear vicar wouldn't mind mv kiss- 
 ing Jupiter's toe. But now I'm glad I did it in any case. 
 People always ask you that." 
 
 When we arrived at the little octagonal treasure 
 chamber ]\Ir. Dod and Miss Cora sat down together on 
 one of the less conspicuous sofas, and I saw that Dicky 
 was already warmed to confidence. Momma at once 
 gave up her soul to the young St. John, having had 
 an engraving of it ever since she was a little girl, and 
 the Senator w^ent solemnlv from canvas to canvas on 
 tip-toe with a mind equally open to Job and the Forna- 
 
 rn 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 227 
 
 : would 
 iscd up 
 
 and it 
 lie Miss 
 ving in 
 
 a bow 
 be able 
 let her 
 o make 
 g up in 
 Lnd she 
 :ded old 
 n't she, 
 hey say 
 
 •e joined 
 issed it 
 y Jupi- 
 nv kiss- 
 y case. 
 
 reasure 
 her on 
 Dicky 
 it once 
 ng had 
 rl, and 
 vas on 
 Forna- 
 
 rina. lie assured Miss Xancy and me that Brandey 
 was perfectly right in thinking everything of the Trib- 
 une, and with reference to the Dancing Fawn, that it 
 was worth a visit to see Michael Angclo's notion of exe- 
 cuting repairs to statuary alone. He gave the place the 
 benefit of his most serious attention, pulling his beard 
 a good deal before Titian's Venus (which poppa always 
 did in connection with this goddess, however, entirely 
 apart from the merit of the painting) and obviously 
 making allowances for her of ^ledici on account of her 
 great age. At the end of the hour we spent there it 
 had the same effect upon him as upon Colonel Bram- 
 ley, he did not wish to go any further; and we parted 
 from the Miss Binghams, who did. As 1 said good-bye 
 to Miss Cora she gave my hand a subtly sympathetic 
 pressure, whispered tenderly, " lie's very nice," and 
 roguishly escaped before I could ask who was, or what 
 difference it made. Having thought it over, I took the 
 first opportunity of inquiring of Dicky how much of his 
 private affairs he had unburdened to Miss Cora. " Oh," 
 said he, " hardly anything. She knows a former young 
 lady friend of mine in Syracuse — we still exchange 
 Christmas cards — and that led me on to say I thought 
 of getting married this winter. Of course I didn't men- 
 tion Isabel." 
 
CHAPTER XVIII. 
 
 Out of indulgence to Dicky we lingered in Florence 
 three or four days longer than was at all convenient, 
 considering, as the Senator said, the amount of ground 
 we had to cover l)efore we could conscientiouslv vecross 
 the Channel. But neither jKipjja nor niouima were peo- 
 ple to desert a fellow-countrynian in distress in foreign 
 parts, especially in view of this one's pathetic reliance 
 upon our sympathy and support, as a family. We all 
 did our best toward the distraction of what momma 
 called his poor mind, though I cannot say that we were 
 very successful. Ilis poor mind seemed wholly taken 
 up with one anticipative idea, and whatever failed to 
 minister to that he hadn't, as poppa sadly said, any use 
 for. The cloisters of San Marco had no healing for his 
 spirit, and when \ye directed his attention to the solitary 
 painting on the wall with which Fra Angelico made a 
 shrine of each of its monastic cubicles he merelv re- 
 
 L 
 
 marked that it was more than you got in most hotels, 
 and turned lovlesslv awav. Even the charred stick that 
 helped to martyr Savonarola left him cold. He said, 
 indifferentlv, that it was onlv the natural result of mix- 
 
 ing up politics and religion, and that certain Chicago 
 
 228 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 229 
 
 Floroneo 
 
 iivenient, 
 
 f ground 
 
 V vecross 
 
 A'crc poo- 
 
 \ foreign 
 
 reliance 
 
 AVe all 
 
 momma 
 
 we were 
 
 Iv taken 
 
 t. 
 
 'ailed to 
 any nse 
 
 for his 
 solitary 
 made a 
 relv re- 
 
 hotels, 
 ick that 
 le said, 
 of mix- 
 
 'hicago 
 
 ministers who sujiported Bryan fn>m tlie pulpit might 
 well take warning. Hut liis words were apatiietic; he 
 did not reallv care wheth(>r those (Miicajio ministers went 
 to the stake or not. We stood iiim het'ore tiie hronzo 
 gates of Ghiherti, and walked him np and down between 
 rows of works in pielra dura, hut without any perma- 
 nent effect, and when he contemj)late<l tlie consecrated 
 residences of (^iniahue and Cellini, we could see that 
 his interest was perfunctory, and that out of the corner 
 of his eye he really considered passing fiacres. I read 
 to him aloud from " Romola," and monnna bought him 
 an English and Italian washing book that he might keep 
 a record of his camicie and his fazzohlti — it would be 
 so interesting afterwards, she thought — whil(» the Sena- 
 tor exerted himself in the wav of cheerful conversation, 
 but it was very discouraging. Even when we dined at 
 the fashionable open air restaurant in the Cascine, with 
 no less a person than Ouida, in a fluff of grey hair and 
 black lace, at the next table, and the most distinguished 
 gambler of the Italian aristocracy presenting a narrow 
 back to us from the other side, he permitted poppa to 
 compare the quality of the beef fillets unfavourably 
 Mdth those of Xew^ York in silence, and drank his Chi- 
 anti with a lack-lustre eve. ' 
 
 Towards the end of the week, however, Dicky grew 
 remorseful. " It's all very well," he said to me pri- 
 vately, " for Mrs. Wick to say that she could spend a 
 lifetime in Florence, if the houses only had a few mod- 
 em conveniences. I daresay she could — and as for your 
 
TF 
 
 230 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 poppa, Ijc's as patient as if this wore a Washington hotel 
 and he had a caucus every niglit, but it's as plain as 
 Dante's nose that the Senator's dead sick of this city." 
 
 " Dicky," I said, " that is a reflection of your own 
 state of mind. Poppa is willing to take as much more 
 Botticelli and Filippo Lippi as it may be necessary to 
 give him." 
 
 " Oh, I know he ivoidd,^^ Dicky admitted, " but he 
 isn't as young as he was, and I should hate to feel I was 
 imjiosing on him. Besides, I'm beginning to conclude 
 that they've skipped Florence." 
 
 So it came to pass that we departed for Venice next 
 day, tarrying one night at Bologna. AVe had cut a day 
 off Bologna for Dicky's sake, but the Senator could not 
 be persuaded to sacrifice it altogether on account of its 
 well known manufacture, into the conditions of which 
 he wished to inquire. The shops, as we drove to the 
 hotel, seemed to expose nothing else for sale, but poppa 
 said that, in spite of the local consumption, it had cer- 
 tainly fallen off, and, as an official representative of one 
 of its great rivals in the west, he naturally felt a com- 
 punctious interest in the state of the industry. The 
 hotel had a little courtyard, with an orange tree in the 
 middle and palms in pots, and we came down the wide 
 marble stairs, past the statues on the landing, and the 
 paintings on the walls, to find dinner laid on round 
 tables out there, I remember. A note of momma's 
 occurs here to the effect that there is a great deal too 
 much fine art in Italian hotels, with a reference to the 
 
 ri 
 
 t-n tT^ ^ i U MIt ^ l 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 231 
 
 •n hotel 
 )lain as 
 s city." 
 ur own 
 li more 
 sary to 
 
 but he 
 ;1 I was 
 include 
 
 ce next 
 
 t a day 
 
 ukl not 
 
 t of its 
 
 which 
 
 to the 
 
 poppa 
 
 ad cer- 
 
 of one 
 
 a com- 
 
 The 
 
 in the 
 
 e wide 
 
 id the 
 
 round 
 
 mma's 
 
 al too 
 
 to the 
 
 
 fa^t that the one at Xaples had the whole of Pompeii 
 painted on the dining room walls. She considers this 
 practice embarrassing to the public mind, which has 
 no way of knowing whether to admire these things or 
 not, though personally we boldly decided to scorn them 
 all. This, however, has nothing to do with i)oppa and 
 the commercial traveller. AVe knew he was a com- 
 mercial traveller by the way he put his toothi)ick in his 
 pocket, though poppa said afterwards that he was not 
 exceptionally endowed for that line of business. He 
 was dining at our table, and by his gratified manner 
 when we sat down, it was plain that he could speak Eng- 
 lish and would be very pleased to do so. Poppa, know- 
 ing that his time was short, began at once. 
 
 " You beh)ng to Bologna, sir? " he inquired with 
 his first spoonful of soup. For some reason it seems im- 
 possible to address a stranger at a tabic cVhote, before 
 the soup takes the baldness off the situation. 
 
 The gentleman smiled. ITe had a broad, open, 
 amiable, red face, with a short black beard and a round 
 head covered with thick hair in curls, beautifully parted. 
 " I do not think I belong," he said; " my house of busi- 
 ness, it is at Milan, and I am born at Finalmarina. But 
 I come much to Bologna, yes." 
 
 "Where did you say you were born?" asked the 
 Senator. 
 
 " Finalmarina. You did not go to there, no? I am 
 
 sorry 
 
 )> 
 
 " It does seem a pity," replied poppa, " but we've 
 
232 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 been obliged to pass a considerable number of your 
 commercial centres, sir. This city, 1 presume, has large 
 manufacturing interests^ " 
 
 " Oh, yes, I suppose. You 'ave seen that San Pe- 
 tronio, you cannot help. Very enorm' ! More big than 
 San Peter in Home. But not complete since fourteenth 
 century. In America you 'ave nothing unfinish, is it 
 not?" 
 
 " Far as that goes," said poppa, " we generally man- 
 age to complete our contracts within the year; as a rule, 
 I may say within the building season. But I have seen 
 one or two Roman Catholic churches left with the scaf- 
 folding hanging round the ceiling for a good deal longer, 
 the altar all fixed up too, and public worship going on 
 just as usual. It seems to be a way they have. AVell, 
 sir, I knew Bologna, by reputation, better than any other 
 Italian city, for years. Your local manufacture did the 
 business. As a boy at school, there was nothing I was 
 more fond of for my dinner. Thirty years ago, sir, the 
 interest was created that brings me here to-day." 
 
 The commercial traveller bowed with much gratifica- 
 tion. In the meantime he had presented a card to 
 momma, which informed her that Hi' do Bellini repre- 
 sented the firm of Isapetti and Co., Milan, Artificial 
 Flowers and Lace. 
 
 " Thirty years, that is a long time to remember 
 Bologna, I cannot say that thirty years I remember Xew 
 York. You will not believe! " He was obviously not 
 more than twenty-five, so this was vastly humorous. 
 
 -'t— 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 233 
 
 ^' Twenty vears, vcs, twenty years I will say I And haye 
 you seen San Stefano^ Seyen eliiirelies in one! Also 
 the most old. And haying forty Jerusalem martvrs." 
 
 " Forty would go a long- way in relics," the Senator 
 obseryed with discouragement, " but my remarks had 
 reference to the Bologna sausage, sir." 
 
 " Sausage — ah! mortadclla — yes they make here I 
 belieye." Mr. Bellini held up his knife and fork to 
 enable his plate to be changed and looked darkly at the 
 succeeding course. " But eyery Italian cannot like that 
 dish. I eat him neyer. You will not find in this hotel 
 no." His manner indicated a personal hostility to the 
 Bologna sausage, but the Senator did not seem to no- 
 tice it. 
 
 '' You don't say so! Local consumption going off 
 too, ohi Xow how do you explain that^" 
 
 Mr. Bellini shrugged his shoulders. " It is nuich 
 eat by the }){)or people. They will always haye that 
 morfadeUa ! " 
 
 " That looks," said the Senator thougiitfully, " like 
 the production of an inferior article. But not neces- 
 sarily, not necessarily, of course." 
 
 " Bologna it is yery ecclesiastic.^^ ^Iv. Bellini ad- 
 dressed my other parent, recoyering a smile. " We haye 
 produced here six popes. It is the fame of Bologna." 
 
 " You seem to think a gi'eat deal of ])rodncing popes 
 in Italy," momma replied coldly. '' I should consider 
 it a terrible responsibility." 
 
 " Xow do you suppose," said poppa confidentially, 
 
234 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " that the idea of trichinosis had anything to do with 
 slackening the demand?" 
 
 Mr. Bellini threw his head back, and passionately 
 replaced a section of biscuit and cheese in the middle of 
 his plate. 
 
 "I know nossing, any more than you! Why you 
 speak me always that Bologna sausage! Pazienza! 
 AVhat is it that sausage to make the agreeable conversa- 
 tion! '' 
 
 " Sir," exclaimed the Senator with astonishment and 
 equal heat, " you don't seem to be aware of it, but at 
 one time the Bologna sausage ruled the world ! " 
 
 Mr. Bellini, however, could evidently not trust him- 
 self to discuss the matter further. He rose precipitately 
 with an outraged, impersonal bow, and left the table, 
 abandoning his biscuit and cheese, his half finished 
 bottle of Kudesheimer and the figs that were to follow, 
 with the indifference of a lofty nature. 
 
 " I'm sorry I spoiled his dinner," said poppa with 
 concern, " but if a Bologna man can't talk about Bo- 
 logna sausages, what can he talk about? " 
 
 It made the Senator reticent, though, as to sausages 
 of any kind, with the other commercial traveller — the 
 hotel was full of them, and we found it very entertain- 
 ing after the barren dining rooms of southern Italy — 
 with whom we breakfasted. He spoke to this one ex- 
 clusively about the architectural and historic features 
 of the city, in a manner which forbade any approach 
 to gastronomic themes, and while the second commercial 
 
 "m 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 235 
 
 do with 
 
 sionately 
 niddle of 
 
 Vhy you 
 ^azienza! 
 conversa- 
 
 ment and 
 it, but at 
 
 ru3t liim- 
 cipitatoly 
 he table, 
 finished 
 follow, 
 
 ipa with 
 3out Bo- 
 sausages 
 or — the 
 ntertain- 
 Italy— - 
 one ex- 
 features 
 pproach 
 imercial 
 
 traveller regarded him with great respect, it must be 
 confessed that the conversation languished. Dicky 
 might have helped us out, but Dicky was following his 
 usual custom of having rooms in one hotel and cover- 
 ing as many others as possible with his meals, in the 
 hope of an accidental meeting. This was excellent as 
 a distraction for his mind, but since it occasionally led 
 him into three dejeuners and two dinners, rather bad, 
 we feared, for other parts of him. He had confi(kxl his 
 design to me; he intended, on meeting Isabel's eye, to 
 turn very pale, abruptly terminate his repast, ask for his 
 hat and stick, and walk out with conspicuous agitation. 
 As to the course he meant to pursue afterwards he was 
 vague; the great thing was to make an impression upon 
 Isabel. We differed about the nature of the impression. 
 Dicky took it for granted that she would be profoundly 
 affected, but he made no allowance for the way in which 
 maternal vigilance like that of Mrs. Portheris can dis- 
 courage the imagination. 
 
 Poppa made two further attempts to inform himself 
 upon the leading manufacturing interest of Bologna. 
 He inquired of the padrone, who was pleased to hear 
 that Bologna had a leading manufacturing interest, and 
 when my parent asked where he could see the process, 
 pointed out several shops in the Piazza llaggiore. One 
 of these the Senator visited, note-book in hand, and was 
 shown with great alacrity every variety of mortadella, 
 from delicacies the size of a finger to mottled concep- 
 tions as thick as a small barrel. He found a difficulty 
 16 
 
236 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 in cxphiining, however, even with an Italian phrase 
 book, that it was the manufacture only about which he 
 was curious, and that, admirable as the result might be, 
 he did not wish to buy any of it. When the latter fact 
 finally made itself plain, the proprietor became truculent 
 and gave us, althoui;h he spoke no English, so vivid 
 an idea of the inconsistency of our presence in his prem- 
 ises, that we retired in all the irritation of the well- 
 meaning and misunderstood. The Senator, however, 
 who had absolute confidence in his phrase book, saw a 
 deeper significance in the remarkable unwillingness of 
 the people of Bologna to expatiate upon the feature 
 which had given them fame. " The fact is," said he 
 gloomily, restoring his note-book to his inside pocket as 
 we entered the terra-cotta doorway of St. Catarina, 
 " they're not anxious to let a stranger into the know of 
 it." And this conviction remaining with him, still in- 
 spires the Senator with a contemptuous pity for the 
 porcine methods of a people who refuse to submit them 
 to the light of day and the observation of the world at 
 large. 
 
1 phrase 
 ,vhich he 
 [light be, 
 itter fact 
 tnifulent 
 so vivid 
 bis prcin- 
 thc well- 
 however, 
 )k, saw a 
 iigiiess of 
 e feature 
 " said he 
 pocket as 
 Catarina, 
 know of 
 , still in- 
 fer the 
 unit them 
 world at 
 
 CILVrTEK XIX. 
 
 So far, momma said she had every reason to be 
 pleased with the effect on her mind. About the Sena- 
 tor's slie would not commit herself, beyond saying that 
 we had a great deal to be thankful for in that his health 
 hadn't suffered, in spite of the indigestibility of that 
 eternal French twist and honey that you were obliged 
 on the Continent to begin the day with. She hoped, 
 1 think, that the Senator had absorbed other things 
 beside the French twist equally unconsciously, with 
 beneficial results that would appear later. He said him- 
 self that it was well worth anybody's while to make the 
 trip, if only in order to be better satisfied with America 
 for the rest of his life, but why peo^de belonging to the 
 United States and the nineteenth century should want 
 to spend whole summers in the Middle Ages he failed to 
 understand. Both my parents, however, looked forward 
 to Venice with enthusiasm. Momma expected it to be 
 the realization of all her dreams, and poppa decided 
 that it nnist, at all events, be unique. It couldn't have 
 any Arno or any Campagna in the nature of things — 
 that would be a change — and it was not possible to the 
 
 human mind, however sophisticated, with a livelong 
 
 237 
 
!P 
 
 238 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 experience of street cars and lierdics, to stroll np and 
 take a seat in a gondola and know exactly what would 
 happen, where the fare-box was and everything, and 
 whether they took Swiss silver, and if a gentleman in a 
 crowded gondola was expected to give up his seat to a 
 lady and stand. Poppa, as a stranger and unaccustomed 
 to the motion, hoped this would not be the case, but I 
 knew him well enough to predict tliat if it were so he 
 would vindicate American gallantry at all risks. 
 
 Thus it was that, from the moment momma put her 
 head out of the car window, after Mestre, and exclaimed, 
 " It's getting wateryer and wateryer," Venice was a 
 source of the completest joy and satisfaction to both my 
 parents. Dicky and I took it with the more moderate 
 appreciation natural to our years, but it gave us the 
 greatest pleasure to watch the simple and unrestrained 
 delight of momma and poppa, and to revert, as it were, 
 in their experience, to what our own enjoyment might 
 have been had we been born when they were. " Xo 
 express agents, no delivery carts, no baggage checks," 
 murmured poppa, as our trunks glided up to the hotel 
 steps, " but it gets there all the same." This was the 
 keynote of his admiration — everything got there all the 
 same. The surprise of it was repeated every time any- 
 thing got there, and was only dashed once when we saw 
 brown-paper parcels being delivered by a boy at the 
 back door of the Palazzo Balbi, who had evidently 
 walked all the way. The Senator commented upon that 
 boy and his groceries as an inconsistency, and there- 
 
 f 
 
 m 
 
 ^ 
 
lip and 
 
 it would 
 ing, and 
 iian in a 
 5cat to a 
 ustomod 
 ;e, but I 
 re so he 
 
 put lier 
 claimed, 
 B was a 
 both my 
 noderate 
 ! us the 
 strained 
 it were, 
 ; might 
 " Xo 
 checks," 
 le hotel 
 was the 
 
 all the 
 no any- 
 wo saw 
 
 at the 
 
 idently 
 on that 
 
 there- 
 
 I 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 239 
 
 after carefully closed his eyes to the fact that even our 
 own hotel, which faced upon the (irand Canal, had com- 
 munications to the rear by which its guests could ex- 
 2)lore a large j)art of commercial Venice without going 
 ill a gondola at all. The canals were the only highways 
 he would recognise, and he went three times to St. 
 Maria della Salute, which was immediately opposite, 
 for the sake of crossing the street in the Venetian way. 
 Momma became really hopeful about the stimulus to his 
 imagination; she told him so. " It appeals to you, 
 Alexander," she said. " Its poetry comes home to you 
 — you needn't deny it; " and poppa cordially admitted 
 it. '' Yes," he said, " Ruskin, according to the guide- 
 book, doesn't seem as if he could say too much about 
 this city, and Bramley was just the same. They're both 
 right, and if we were going to be here long enough I'd 
 be like that myself. There's something about it that 
 makes you willing to take a lot of trouble to describe it. 
 There's no use saying it's the canals, or the reflections 
 in the water, or the bridges, or the pigeons, or the gar- 
 goyles, or the gondolas " 
 
 " Or Salviati, or Jesurum," said momma, in lighter 
 
 vein. 
 
 ' Your memory, Augusta, for the names of old mns- 
 ters is perfectly wonderful," continued poppa placidly. 
 " Or Salviati, or Jesurum, or what. But there's a kind 
 of local spell about this place " 
 
 " There are various kinds of local smells," inter- 
 rupted Dicky, whom Mrs. Portheris still evaded, but 
 
7^ 
 
 210 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 I! 
 
 this levity received no encouragement from the Senator. 
 lie said instead that he hadn't noticed them himself. 
 For his part he had come to Venice to use his eyes, not 
 his nose; and Dicky, thus discourtigod, faded visibly 
 upon his stem. 
 
 I could see that poppa was still strongly under the 
 influence of the Venetian sentiment when he invited me 
 to go out in a gondola with him after dinner, and point- 
 edly neglected to suggest that either momma or Dicky 
 should come too. I had a presentiment of his intenti(m. 
 If I have seemed, thus far, to omit all reference to Mr. 
 Page in Boston, since we left Paris, it is, first, because 
 I believe it is not considered necessary in a book of trav- 
 els to account for every half hour, and second, because 
 I privately believed him to be in correspondence with 
 the Senator the whole time, and hesitated to expose his 
 duplicity. I had given poppa opportunities for confess- 
 ing this clandestine business, but in his paternal wisdom 
 he had not taken them. I was not prepared, therefore, 
 to be very responsive when, from a mere desire to in- 
 dulge his sense of the fitness of things, poppa endeav- 
 oured to probe my sentiments with regard to Mr. Page 
 by moonlight on the Grand Canal. To begin with, I 
 wasn't sure of them — so much depended upon what 
 Arthur had been doing; and besides, I felt that the per- 
 fect confidence which should exist between father and 
 daughter had already been a good deal damaged at the 
 paternal end. So when poppa said that it must seem 
 to me like a dream, so much had happened since the 
 
 ! 
 
 nn 
 
 U-i 
 

 Senator. 
 
 1 himself. 
 1 eyes, not 
 jd visibly 
 
 under the 
 nvited nio 
 and point- 
 er Dicky 
 intention, 
 ice to Mr. 
 t, because 
 •k of trav- 
 1, because 
 3nce with 
 expose his 
 r confcss- 
 il wisdom 
 therefore, 
 lire to in- 
 a endeav- 
 Mr. Page 
 ti with, I 
 3on what 
 t the per- 
 ither and 
 ed at the 
 lust seem 
 since the 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 241 
 
 day momma and I left Chicago at twenty-four hours' 
 notice, six weeks ago, 1 said no, for my part I lijid felt 
 l)retty wide awake all the time; a person had to be, 
 I ventured to add, with no more time to waste upon 
 Southern Euroi)c than we luid. 
 
 " You mean you've been sleeping pretty badly,'' 
 said the Senator sympathelically. 
 
 " Where was it," I iuipiired, '^ you would give us 
 pounded crabs and cream for supper after we'd been to 
 hear masses for the repose of somebody's soul^ That was 
 a bad night, but I don't think I've had any others. On 
 the contrary." 
 
 " Oh, well," said poppa, " it's a good thing it isn't 
 undermining your constitution," but he looked as if it 
 were rather a disappointment. 
 
 " The American constitution can stand a lot of trans- 
 portation," I remarked. " Railways live on that fact. 
 I've heard you say so yourself. Senator." 
 
 Then there was an interval during which the onrs 
 of the gondoliers dipped musically, and the moon made 
 a golden pathway to the marble steps of the Palazzo 
 Contarina. Then poppa said, " I refer to the object of 
 our tour." 
 
 " The object of our tour wasn't to undermine my 
 constitution," I replied. " It was to write a book — 
 don't you remember. But it's some time since you made 
 any suggestions. If you don't look out, the author of 
 that volume will practically be momma." 
 
 The Senator allowed himself to be diverted. " I 
 
242 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 think," lio said, " you'd bettor Icjivo the oliaptor on 
 Venice to me; you can't juat talk anyhow about this 
 city. I'll write it one of these nights before 1 go to 
 bed. 
 
 '^ But tlie main reason," he continued, " that sent 
 us to i>li«h' tliis minute over the canal svstem of the 
 Bride of the Adriatic was the necessity of bracing you 
 up after what you'd been through." 
 
 " Well," I said, '^ it's been very successful. I'm all 
 braced up. I'm glad we have had such a good excuse 
 for coming." A fib is sometimes necessary to one's self- 
 respect. 
 
 '^7^•ew^('/" cried the gondolier, and we shaved past 
 the gondola of a solitary gentleman just leaving the 
 steps of the Hotel Britannia. 
 
 " That was a shave! " poppa exclaimed, and added 
 somewhat inconsequently, " You might just as well not 
 speak so loud. 
 
 " I've always liked Arty," he continued, as we 
 glided on. 
 
 " So have I," I returned cordially. 
 
 " He's in many ways a lovely fellow," said poppa. 
 
 " I guess he is," said I. 
 
 " I don't believe," ventured my parent, " that his 
 matrimonial ideas have cooled down any." 
 
 " I hope he may marry well," I said. " Has he de- 
 cided on Frankie Turner? " 
 
 " He has come to no decision that you don't know 
 about. Of course, I have no desire to interfere where 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 243 
 
 linpter on 
 ibout this 
 e I g<j to 
 
 that sent 
 »ni of the 
 acing you 
 
 1. I'm all 
 •0(1 excuse 
 one's self- 
 
 laved past 
 aving the 
 
 md added 
 3 well not 
 
 d, as we 
 
 poppa. 
 
 that his 
 
 ^as he de- 
 
 n't know 
 re where 
 
 t 
 
 it isn't any of my business, but if you wish to gratify 
 your poj)})a, daughter, you will obey him in tiiis matter, 
 and permit Arthur once more to — to come round even- 
 ings as he used to. He is a young man of moderate in- 
 come, but a very level head, and it is tiie wish of my 
 heart to see you reconciled." 
 
 " Sorry I can't oblige you, poppa," T said. I cer- 
 tainly was not going to have any reconciliation effected 
 by poppa. 
 
 " You'd better just consider it, daughter. I don't 
 want to interfere — but you know my desire, my com- 
 mand." 
 
 " Senator," said I, " you don't seem to realise that 
 it takes more than a gondola to make a paternal Doge. 
 I've got to ask you to remember that I was born in 
 Chicago. And it's my bed time. Gondolier! Albergo! 
 Andate presto! " 
 
 " lie seems to understand you," said poppa meekly. 
 
 So we dropped Arthur — dropped him, so to s})eak, 
 into the Grand Canal, and I really felt callous at the 
 time as to whether he should ever come up again. 
 
 But the Senator's joy in Venice found other means 
 of expressing itself. One was an active and disinter- 
 ested appeal to the gondoliers to be a little less modern 
 in their costume. He approached this subject through 
 the guide with every gondolier in turn, and the smiling 
 impassiveness with which his suggestions were received 
 still causes him wonder and disgust. '' 1 presume," he 
 remonstrated, " you think you earn your living because 
 
244 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 1,1 
 
 IP 
 
 tourists have got to get from the Acciuk'iiiia to St. 
 Clark's, and from St. Mark's to the Bridge of ISiglis, 
 but that's only a (juarter of the reason. The other tlirec- 
 (piarters is because they like to be rowed there in gon- 
 dolas by the gondoliers tliev've read alxmt, and the gon- 
 (h>liers i.u'v've read about wore pro[)er gondoliering 
 elotlies — tliev didn't look like Kast River loafers." 
 
 t 
 
 " They are |)(K>r men, these (jondollcvi,"' renuirked 
 the gr.i(k'. '' Tluy eannot afford." 
 
 " 1 am not an infant, my friend. I'm a business 
 man from (^hieago. It's a business proposition. Put 
 vour g<nidoli('rs into the styles they wore when Andrea 
 Dandolo went I<.()ting Constantinople, and you'll double 
 your tourist tralKe in fiye years. Twice as many people 
 wanting gondolas, wanting guides, wanting hotel ac- 
 commodation, buying your coloured glass and lace 
 flounces — why, Great Scott! it would pay the city to 
 do the thing at the public exi)ense. Then you could 
 pass a by-law forbidding gondoliering to be done in any 
 style later than the fifteenth century. Pay you oyer 
 and oyer again." 
 
 Po; i was in earnest, ho wanted it done, lie was 
 only dissuaded from taking more active measures to 
 make his idea public by the fact that he couldn't stay 
 to put it through. He was told, of course, how the 
 plain black gondola came to be enforced through the 
 extravagance of the nobles who ruined themselves to 
 have s])lendid ones, and how the Venetians scrupled 
 to depart from a historic mandate, but he considered 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 245 
 
 iiiiii to St. 
 ' of Sighs, 
 )tlior tliree- 
 jre in gon- 
 id tlic gon- 
 >ndolioriiig 
 uifcrs." 
 remarked 
 
 a business 
 tioii. Put 
 en Andrea 
 u'll double 
 any people 
 : hotel ao- 
 
 and laee 
 he citv to 
 you could 
 mo iii any 
 
 you over 
 
 lie was 
 \isures to 
 kin't stay 
 
 how the 
 'ough the 
 iselves to 
 
 seruided 
 onsidcred 
 
 this a feeble argument, probal)ly per[)etuated bv some- 
 body who enjoyed a monopo ,i\ supi)lying Venice with 
 black i)aint. *' Circumstances alter cases," he declared. 
 " If that old Doge knew that the P. and O. was going 
 to run direct between Venice and Hondtav evcrv tort- 
 night this year, he'd tell you to turn (»ut yonr gon.lolas 
 silver-gilt! " 
 
 iSevertheless, as I say, the Senator's views were 
 coldly received, witli one excejition. A highly i)ic- 
 tures(pie and intelligent gondolier, whom the guide 
 sought to convert to a sense of the anachronism of his 
 clothes in c(mnection with his calling, j)ronused that if 
 we would give him a deiinite engagement for next day, 
 he would appear suitably clad. The following morning 
 he awaited us with honest pride in his Sunday a])]iarel, 
 which included violently checked trousers, a hard felt 
 hat, and a large ])ink tie. The Senator paid him hur- 
 riedly and handsomely and dismissed him with as little 
 injury to hi- feelings as was ])ossible under the circum- 
 stances. " Tell him," said poppa to the guide, '" to go 
 Iiome and take off those pants. And tell him, do you 
 understand, to rusJt ! " 
 
 That same day, in the afternoon, T remend)er, when 
 we were disembarking for an ice at Florian's, monnna 
 directed our attention to two gentlemen in an approach- 
 ing gondola. " There's something about that nuin," she 
 said impressively, "I mean the one in the duster, that 
 belongs to the r^ign of Louis Philippe." 
 
 There is," I responded; "we saw him last in the 
 
 a rr 
 
^w 
 
 !^ ! 
 
 I 
 
 nill'li'*: 
 
 246 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 n 
 
 Potit Trianon. It's ^Ir. Ptibbk'v and Mr. Ilinkson. 
 Two more Transatlantic fellow-travellers. Senator, 
 when we meet them shall we greet them^ " 
 
 The Senator had a moment of self-expostulation. 
 
 " Well, no," he said, " 1 guess not. 1 don't suppose 
 we need feel obliged to keep up the aequaintanee of 
 ei'erij American we come across in Europe. It would 
 take us all our time. J^ut l\l like to ask him what use 
 he finds for a duster in Venice. 
 
 " How 1 wish the Misses Bingham could hear you,'' 
 I thought, but one should never annoy one's parents un- 
 necessarily, so I kept my reflections to myself. 
 
' 
 
 Mr. Iliiikson. 
 rs. Seuatur, 
 
 »j 
 
 >stii]atiun. 
 don't suiDpose 
 lUiiiiitanee of 
 a. It would 
 liiii what use 
 
 d hear you,'' 
 s pareuts uii- 
 self. 
 
 CHAPTER XX. 
 
 TiTAT last day in Venice we went, I remember, to 
 the Lido. Xothing happened, but I don't like leaving it 
 out, because it was the last day, and the next best thing 
 to lingering in Venice is lingering on it. AVe went in 
 a steamboat, under protest from popi)a, who said it might 
 as well be Coney Island until we got there, when ho 
 admitted points of diiTerence, and agreed that if people 
 had to come all the way out in gondolas, certain existing 
 enterprises might as well go out of business. The steam- 
 er was full of Venetians, and we saw that thev were 
 charming, though momma wishes it to be understood 
 that the modern Portia wears her bodice cut rnther too 
 low in the neck and gazes much too softly at the modem 
 Bassanio. Poppa and I thought it mere amiability that 
 scorned to conceal itself, but momma referred to it other- 
 wise, admitting, however, that she found it fascinating 
 to watch. 
 
 AVe seemed to disembark at a restaurant permanent 
 
 among flowing waters, so prominent was this feature of 
 
 the island, but it had only a roof, and presently we 
 
 noticed a little grass and some bushes as well. The 
 
 verdure had quite a novel look, and we decided to dis- 
 
 247 
 
iri 
 
 ! 1 
 
 248 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 li^'l 
 
 ij 
 
 courage the casual person who wished to soil us strange 
 and uncertified shell fish from a basket for immediate 
 consumption, and follow it up. 
 
 Dicky was of opinion that we might arrive at the 
 veg(?table gardens of Venice, but in this we were dis- 
 appointed. We came instead to a street-car, and half a 
 mile of arbour, and all the Venetians pleasurably pre- 
 paring to take carriage exercise. The horses seemed to 
 like the idea of giving it to them, they were quite light- 
 hearted, one of them actually pawed. Tliey were the 
 only horses in Venice, they felt their dignity and their 
 resi)onsibility in a way foreign to animals in the public 
 service, anywhere else in the world. Personally we 
 would have preferred to walk to the other end of the 
 arbour, but it would have seemed a slight, and, as the 
 Senator said, we weren't in Venice to hurt any- 
 body's feelings that belonged there. It would have 
 been extravagant too, since the steamboat ticket 
 included the drive at the end. So we struggled 
 anxiously for good places, and proceeded to the other 
 side with much circumstance, enjoying ourselves as 
 hard as possible. Dicky said he never had such a good 
 time; but that was because he had exhausted Venice 
 and his patience, and was going on to Verona next 
 
 lav 
 
 The arl)our and the grass and the street-car track 
 ended sharply and all together at a raised wooden walk 
 that led across the sand to a pavilion hanging over the 
 Adriatic, and here we sat and watched other Venetians 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 249 
 
 us strange 
 immediate 
 
 ive at the 
 were dis- 
 md half a 
 rably pre- 
 5cemed to 
 lite light- 
 were the 
 and their 
 lie public 
 nally we 
 id of the 
 d, as the 
 H't any- 
 dd have 
 t ticket 
 truggled 
 10 other 
 Ives as 
 a good 
 Venice 
 la next 
 
 r track 
 n walk 
 ver the 
 netians 
 
 disporting themselves in the water below. They were 
 glorious creatures, and they disported themselves nobly, 
 keeping so well in view of the pavilion and such a steady 
 eye upon the spectators that po})pa had an impulsive 
 desire to feed them with macaroons, lie decided not 
 to; you never could tell, he said, what might be consid- 
 ered a liberty by foreigners; but he had a hard struggle 
 with the temptation, the aipuitic accom[)lishm('nts we 
 saw were so deserving of reward. I had the misfortune 
 to lose a little pink rose overboard, as it were, and Dicky 
 looked seriously annoyed when an amphibious young 
 Venetian caught it between his lips. I don't know 
 why; he was one of the most attractive on view, luit I 
 have often noticed Turkish tendencies in Dickv where 
 
 t.' 
 
 his country-women are concerned. AVe came away 
 almost immediately after, so that rose will bloom in my 
 memory, until I forget about it, among romances that 
 might have been. 
 
 Strolling back, we bought a Venetian secret for a 
 sou or two, a beautiful little secret, I wonder who first 
 found it out. A picturesque and fishy smelling })erson 
 in a soft felt hat sold it to us — a pair of tiny dainty 
 dried sea-horses, " mere " and " prre " he callccl them. 
 And there, all in the curving poise of their little heads 
 and the twist of their little tails, was ' .ealed half the 
 art of Venice, and we saw how th, i.rst glass worker 
 came to be told to make a sea green dragon climbing 
 over an amber yellow bowl, and where the gondola bor- 
 rowed its grace. They moved us to unanimous enthusi- 
 
250 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ill Ih, ,' I 
 
 asm, and we utterly refused to let Dicky put one in his 
 button-hole. 
 
 It is looking back upon Venice, too, that I see the 
 paternal figure of the Senator nourishing the people 
 witii octopuses. This may seem improbable, but it is 
 strictly true. They were small octopui^es, not nearly 
 large enough to kill anybody while they were alive, 
 though boiled and pickled they looked very deadly. 
 Pink in colour, they stood in a barrel near the entrance, 
 I remember, of Jesurum's, and attracted the Senator's 
 inquiring eye. When the guide said they were for 
 human consumption poppa looked at him suspiciously 
 and offered him one. He ate it with a promptness and 
 artistic despatch that fascinated us all, gathering it up 
 by its limp long legs and taking bites out of it, as if it 
 were an apple. A one-eyed man who hooked pausing 
 gondolas up to the slippery steps offered to show how 
 it should be done, and otlier performers, all skilled, 
 seemed to rise from the stones of the pavement. Poppa 
 invited them all, by pantomime, to walk up and have 
 an octopus, and when the crowd began to gather from 
 the side alleys, and the enthusiasm grew too promiscu- 
 ous, he bought the barrel outright and watched the 
 carnival from the middle of the canal. He often speaks 
 of his enjoyment of the Venetian octopus, eaten in cold 
 blood, without pepper, salt, or vinegar; and the effect, 
 when I am not there, is awe-stricken. 
 
 Xext morning we took a gondola for the station, and 
 slipped through the gold and opal silence of the dawn 
 
 li.il.; I ; 
 
J ■• ID 1^1 1 II 
 
 ■PI I k 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 251 
 
 on the canals away from Venice. Xo one was up but 
 the sun, who did as he liked with tlie fa(,;a(U's and tlie 
 bridges in the water, and made strange lovelinesses in 
 narrow darkling* plaees, and showed us things in the 
 calli that we did not know were in the world. The Semi- 
 tor was really depressing until he gradually lightened 
 his spirits by \vorking out a scheme ior a direct line of 
 steamships between Venice and New York, to be based 
 on an agreement with the Venetian munici[)ality as to 
 garments of legitimate gaiety for the gondoliers, the 
 re-nomination of an annual Doge, who should be com- 
 pelled to wear his robes whenever he went out of doors, 
 and the vearlv resurrection of the ancient ceremonv of 
 marrying Venice to the Adriatic, during the months of 
 July and August, when the tide of tourist traffic sets 
 across the Atlantic. " AVe should get every school 
 ma'am in the Union, to begin with," said pojipa con- 
 fidently, and by the time we reached Verona he had 
 floated the company, launched the first ship, arrived in 
 Venice with full orchestral accompaniment, and dined 
 the imitation Doge — if he couldn't get L^mberto and 
 Crispi — upon clam chowder and canvas-backs to the aol- 
 emn strains of Hail Columbia played up and down the 
 Grand Canal. " If it covid be worked," said poppa as 
 we descended upon the platform, '' I'd like to have the 
 Pope telephone us a blessing on the banquet." 
 
 IT 
 
'Ill 
 
 II 
 
 CHAPTER XXI. 
 
 It was the middle of the afternoon, and momma, 
 having spent the morning among the tombs of the 
 Scaligeri, was lying down. The Scaligeri somehow had 
 got on her nerves; there were so many of them, and the 
 panoply of their individual bones was so imposing. 
 
 " Daughter," she had said to me on the way back 
 to the hotel, ^' if you point out another thing to me 
 I'll slap you." In that frame of mind it was always best 
 to let momma lie down. The Senator had letters to 
 write; I think he wanted to communicate his Venetian 
 steamship idea to a man in Minneapolis. Dicky had 
 already been round to the Hotel di Londres — we were 
 at the Colomba — and had found nothing, so when he 
 asked me to come out for a walk I prepared to be steeped 
 in despondency. An unsuccessful love affair is a severe 
 test of friendship; but I went. 
 
 It was as I expected. Having secured a spectator 
 to wreak his gloom upon, Mr. Dod proceeded to make 
 the most of the opportunity. He put his hat on reck- 
 lessly, and thrust his hands into his pa — his trouser 
 pockets. We were in a strange town, but he fastened 
 
 bis eyes moodily upon the pavement, as if nothing else 
 
 252 
 
^rm^^^ 
 
 mw 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 253 
 
 1 momma, 
 
 bs of the 
 
 leliow had 
 
 n, and the 
 
 3sing. 
 
 way back 
 
 ing to me 
 
 Iways best 
 
 letters to 
 
 Venetian 
 
 )icky had 
 
 —we were 
 
 when he 
 
 DC steeped 
 
 s a severe 
 
 spectator 
 to make 
 on reck- 
 
 s trouser 
 fastened 
 
 hing else 
 
 were worth considering. As we strolled into the Piazza 
 lira, 1 saw him gradually and furtively turn up his coat- 
 colhir, at which I felt obliged to protest. 
 
 " Look here, Dieky," 1 said, " uurequited alTection 
 is, doubtless, very trying, but you're too nmch of an ad- 
 vertisement. The Ven^nese are beginning to stare at 
 you; their sorcerers will presently follow y(ju about with 
 their patent philters. Reform your personal appear- 
 ance, or here, at the foot of this statue of Victor Em- 
 manuel, I leave you to your fate." 
 
 Dicky reformed it, but with an air of patience under 
 persecution which I found hard to bear. ^' 1 don't kn(jw 
 your authority for calling it unrcipiited," he said, with 
 dignity. 
 
 " All right — undelivered," I replied. " That is a 
 noble statue — you can't contradict the guide-book. By 
 Borghi." 
 
 "Victor Emmanuel, is it? Then it isn^t Garibaldi. 
 You don't have to travel much in Italy to know it's got 
 to be either one or the other. What they like is to have 
 both," said ^Ir. Dod, with unnecessary bitterness. " I'd 
 enjoy something fresh in statues myself." Then, with 
 an imperfectly-concealed alertness, '^ There seems to be 
 something going on over there," he added. 
 
 We could see nothing but an arched door in a high, 
 curving wall, and a stream of people trickling in. 
 " Probably only one of their eternal Latin church serv- 
 ices " continued Dicky. " It's about the onlv form of 
 public entertainment you can depend on in this country. 
 
I|!||. 
 
 11' 
 
 '^ 
 
 254 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 But we might as well have a look in." lie went on to 
 sav, as we erossed the tlustv road, that niv unsvnipa- 
 thetie attitude was enough to drive anyhody to tlie 
 (Mnireh of Home, even in the ndddle of tlie after- 
 noon. 
 
 But we perceived at once that it was not the Church 
 of Rome, or any other church. There was more than 
 one arched entrance, and a man in each, to whom people 
 paid a lira apiece for admission, and when we followed 
 them in we found our feet still upon the ground, and 
 ourselves among a forest of solid buttresses and props. 
 The number XV. was cut deep over the door we came 
 in by, and the props had the air of centuries of patience. 
 A wave of sound seemed to sweep round in a circle in- 
 side and spend itself about us, of faint multitudinous 
 clappings. Conviction descended upon us suddenly, and 
 as we stumbled after the others we shared one classic 
 moment of anticipation, hurrying and curious in 1895 
 as the Romans hurried and were curious in 110, a little 
 late for the show in the Arena. They were all there 
 before us, they had taken the best places, and sat, as 
 we emerged in our astonishment, tier above tier to the 
 row where the wall stopped and the sky began, intent, 
 enthusiastic. The wall threw a new moon of shadow 
 on the west, and there the sun struck down sharply 
 and made splendid the dyes in the women's clothes, and 
 turned the Italian soldiers' buttons into flaming jewels. 
 And again, as we stared, the applause went round and 
 up, from the yellow sand below to the blue sky above, 
 
A VOYAGE OK CONSOLATION. 
 
 255 
 
 went on to 
 
 imaympa- 
 
 ►<ly to tlie 
 
 tlio after- 
 
 lic Clnircli 
 more than 
 loni people 
 e followed 
 ound, and 
 md j)rops. 
 r we came 
 f patience. 
 
 circle in- 
 titudinoiis 
 lenlv, and 
 ne classic 
 3 in 1895 
 0, a little 
 
 all there 
 id sat, as 
 ier to the 
 n, intent, 
 f shadow 
 1 shari)ly 
 thcs, and 
 g jewels, 
 mnd and 
 :y above, 
 
 and when we looked liewildered down into the Arena 
 for the victorious gladiator, and saw a tunil)ling clown 
 with a painted face instead, the illusion was only half 
 destroyed. We climbed and struggled for better places, 
 treading, 1 fear, in our absorption on a great many 
 Veronese toes. Dicky said when we got them that you 
 had to remember that the seats were Koman in order 
 to appreciate them, they were such very cold stone, and 
 they sloped from back to front, for the purpose, as we 
 found out afterward from the guide-book, of letting 
 off the rain water. We were glad to understand it, but 
 Dicky declared that no explanation would induce him 
 to take a season ticket for the Arena, it was too destitute 
 of modern improvements. It was something, though, 
 to sit there watching, with the ranged multitude, a show 
 in a Koman Amphitheatre — one could inuigine things, 
 lictors and tediles, senators and centurions. It only re- 
 quired the substitution of togas and girdled robes for 
 trousers and petticoats, and a purple awning for the 
 emperor, and a brass-plated body-guard with long 
 spears and hairy arms and legs, and a few details like 
 that. If one hiilf closed one's eyes it was hardly neces- 
 sary to imagine. I was half closing my eyes, and won- 
 dering whether they had Vestal Virgins at this particu- 
 lar amphitheatre, and trying to remember whether they 
 would turn their thumbs up or down when they wished 
 the clown to be destroyed, when Dicky grew suddenly 
 pale and sprang to his feet. 
 
 " I was afraid it might give one a chill," I said, 
 
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 256 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " but it is very picturesque. I suppose the ancient 
 Romans brought cushions.'^ 
 
 Mr. Dod did not appear to hear me. 
 
 " In the third row below," he exclaimed, blushing 
 joyfully, " the sixth from this end — do you see? Yellow 
 bun under a floral hat — Isabel! " 
 
 " A yellow bun under a floral hat," I repeated, " that 
 would be Isabel, if you add a good complexion and a 
 look of deportment. Yes, now I see her. ^Irs. Por- 
 theris on one side, Mr. Mafferton on the other. AVhat 
 do you want to do? " 
 
 " Assassinate Mafferton," said Dicky. " Does it 
 look to you as if he had been getting there at all." 
 
 " So far as one can see from behind, I should say he 
 has made some progress, but I don't think, Dicky, that 
 he has arrived. He is constitutionally slow," I added, 
 " about arriving." 
 
 At that moment the party rose. AVithout a w^rd 
 we, too, got on our feet and automatically followed, 
 Dicky treading the reserved seats of the court of Beren- 
 garius as if they had been the back rows of a Bowery 
 theatre. The classics were wholly obscured for him 
 by a floral hat and a yellow bun. I, too, abandoned my 
 speculations cheerfully, for I expected Mrs. Portheris, 
 confronted with Dicky, to be more entertaining than 
 any gladiator. 
 
 We came up with them at the exit, and that august 
 lady, as we approached, to our astonishment, greeted us 
 with effusion. ' 
 
 m 
 
 I 
 
 u i 
 
 •m-ii ;-!■ u 
 
lie ancient 
 
 1, blushing 
 e? Yellow 
 
 ited, " that 
 
 'iion and a 
 
 ]\rrs. Por- 
 
 er. What 
 
 "Does it 
 
 all.'' 
 
 •iild say he 
 Jieky, that 
 ' I added, 
 
 lit a v^r-([ 
 followed, 
 of Beren- 
 a Bowery 
 for him 
 doned my 
 Portheris, 
 ling than 
 
 
 I 
 
 i 
 
 " Do you see ?" 
 
 at august 
 greeted us 
 
lillii 
 
 i III 
 
 1 i!ii 
 
 alto^ 
 reun 
 , traoi 
 on ^ 
 encei 
 
 WllA 
 
 smal 
 
 to ]VJ 
 
 was : 
 
 (• 
 
 ii 
 (i 
 (i 
 (t 
 
 I 
 
 conv 
 ton t 
 a ref 
 and 1 
 
 n 
 
 may 
 
 (C 
 
 as ^ 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 257 
 
 " We thought," she dechared, '' that we had lost you 
 altogether. This is quite delightful. Xow we iniist 
 reunite! " Dicky was certainly included. It was ex- 
 , traordinary. " And your dear father and mother/' went 
 on Mrs. Portheris, " I am longing to hear their experi- 
 ences since we parted. Where are you^ The Colondw^ 
 AVliy what a coincidence! AVe are there, too! How 
 small the world is! " 
 
 " Then you have only just arrived," said Mr. Dod 
 to Miss Portheris, who had turned away her head, and 
 was regarding the distant mountains. 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 "By the 11.30 p.m.?" 
 
 " K'o. By the 2.30 p. m." 
 
 "Had you a pleasant journey up from Xaples?" 
 
 " It was rather dust v." 
 
 I saw that something quite awful was going on and 
 conversed volubly with Mrs. Portheris and Mr. Maffer- 
 ton to give Dicky a chance, but in a moment I, too, felt 
 a refrigerating influence proceeding from the floral hat 
 and the bun for which I could not account. 
 
 " Where have you been? " inquired Dicky, " if I 
 may ask." 
 
 " At Vallombrosa." 
 
 There was also a parasol and it twisted indiffer- 
 ently. 
 
 '^ Ah — among the leaves! And were they as thick 
 as William says they are?" 
 
 " I don't understand you." And, indeed, this levity 
 
■ ■ 
 
 m 
 
 " ii 
 
 my 
 
 iiiivi: 
 
 Ii- 
 
 
 
 'ii! 
 
 'Illi! 
 
 258 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 assorted iiicomprehensively with the black despair that 
 sat on Dicky's countenance. It was really very painful 
 in spite of Mrs. Portheris's unusual humanity and Mr. 
 Mafferton's obvious though embarrassed joy, and as Mrs. 
 Portheris's cab drove up at the moment I made a tenta- 
 tive attempt to bring the interview to a close. " Mr. 
 Dod and I are walking," I said. 
 
 " Ah, these little strolls! " exclaimed Mrs. Portheris, 
 with benignant humour. " I suppose we must condone 
 them now! " and she waved her hand, rolling away, as 
 if she gave us a British matron's blessing. 
 
 " Oh, don't! " I cried. '^ Don't condone them — you 
 mustn't! " But my words fell short in a cloud of dust, 
 and even Dicky, wrapped in his tragedy, failed to re- 
 ceive an impression from them. 
 
 " How," he demanded passionately, " do you ac- 
 count for it? " 
 
 " Account for what? " I shuffled. 
 
 " The size of her head — the frost — the whole bally 
 conversation! " propounded Dicky, with tears in his 
 eyes. 
 
 I have really a great deal of feeling, and I did not 
 rebuke these terms. Besides, I could see only one way 
 out of it, and I was occupied with the best terms in 
 which to present it to Dicky. So I said I didn't know, 
 and reflected. 
 
 " She isn't the same girl ! " he groaned. 
 
 " Men are always talking in the funny columns of 
 the newspapers," I remarked absently, " about how 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 259 
 
 much better they can throw a stone and sharpen a pencil 
 than we can." 
 
 Mr. Dod looked injured. " Oh, well," he said, " if 
 you prefer to talk about something else " 
 
 " But they can't see into a sentimental situation any 
 further than into a board fence," I continued serenely. 
 " My dear Dick, Isabel thinks you're engaged. So does 
 her mamma. So does Mr. Mafferton." 
 
 " Who to? " exclaimed Mr. Dod, in ungrammatical 
 amazement. 
 
 '' I looked at him reproachfully. " Don't be such 
 an owl! " I said. 
 
 Light streamed in upon Dicky's mind. " To you ! " 
 he exclaimed. " Great Scott ! " 
 
 "Preposterous, isn't it?" I said. 
 
 " I should ejaculate! AVell, no, I mean — I shouldn't 
 ejaculate, but — oh, you know what I mean " 
 
 " I do," I said. " Don't apologise." 
 
 " What in my aunt's wardrobe do they think that 
 for?" 
 
 " You left their party and joined ours rather abrupt- 
 ly at Pompeii," I said. 
 
 "Had to!" 
 
 " Isabel didn't know you had to. If she tried to find ' 
 out, I fancy she was told little girls shouldn't ask ques- 
 tions. It was Lot's wife who really came between you, 
 but Isabel wouldn't have been jealous of Lot's wife." 
 
 " I suppose not," said Dicky doubtfully. 
 
 " Do you remember meeting the Misses Bingham 
 
 
 
260 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 I|i !' 
 
 in the Ufizzi? and telling them you were going to 
 be " 
 
 " That's so." 
 
 " You didn't give them enough details. And they 
 told me they were going to Vallombrosa. And when 
 Miss Cora said good-bye to me she told me you were 
 a dear or something." 
 
 " Why didn't you say I wasn't? " 
 
 " Dicky, if you are going to assume that it was my 
 fault " 
 
 " Only one decent hotel — hardly anybody in it — 
 foregathered with old lady Porthcris — told every mor- 
 tal thing they knew! Oh," groaned Dicky. "Why 
 was an old maid ever born! " 
 
 " She never w^as," I couldn't help saying, but I 
 might as well not have said it. Dicky was rapidly for- 
 mulating his plan of action. 
 
 . " I'll tell her straight out, after dinner," he con- 
 cluded, " and her mother, too, if I get a chance." 
 
 " Do you know what will happen? " I asked. 
 
 " You never know what will happen," replied Dicky, 
 blushing. 
 
 " Mrs. and Miss Portheris and Mr. Mafferton will 
 leave the Hotel Colomba for parts unknown, by the 
 earliest train to-morrow morning." 
 
 " But Mrs. Portheris declares that we're to be a 
 happy family for the rest of the trip." 
 
 " Under the impression that you are disposed of, 
 an impression that might be allowed to " 
 
 WIS 
 
 Ma 
 
 to : 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 261 
 
 e you were 
 
 " My heart," said Dicky impulsively, " may be other- 
 wise engaged, but my alleged mind is yours for ever. 
 Mamie, you have a great head." 
 
 '' Thanks," I said. " I would certainly tell the truth 
 to Isabel, as a secret, but " 
 
 }} 
 
 " Mamie, we cut our teeth on the same— 
 
 " Horrid of you to refer to it." 
 
 "It's such a tremendous favour! " 
 
 " It is." 
 
 " But since you're in it, you know, already — and 
 it's so very temporary — and I'll be as good as gokl " 
 
 " You'd better! " I exclaimed. And so it was set- 
 tled that the fiction of Dicky's and my engagement 
 should be permitted to continue to any extent that 
 seemed necessary until Mr. Dod should be able to per- 
 suade Miss Portheris to fly with him across the Chan- 
 nel and be married at a Dover registry oflice. AVe ar- 
 ranged everything with great precision, and, if neces- 
 sary, I was to fly too, to make it a little more proper. 
 We were both somewhat doubtful about the necessity 
 of a bridesmaid in a registry oflice, but we agreed that 
 such a thing would go a long way towards persuading 
 Isabel to enter it. 
 
 When we arrived at the hotel we found Mrs. Por- 
 theris and Mr. Mafferton affectionately having tea with 
 my parents. Isabel had gone to bed with a headache, 
 but Dicky, notwithstanding, displayed the most unfeel- 
 ing spirits. He drove us all finally to see the tomb of 
 Juliet in the Vicolo Franceschini, and it was before 
 
n 
 
 
 i H 
 
 !1 
 
 ill 
 
 I''" :' ! 
 
 m 
 
 : I 
 
 262 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 that uninspiring stone trough full of visiting cards, be- 
 hind a bowling green of suburban patronage, that I 
 heard him, on general grounds of expediency, make con- 
 trite advances to Mrs. Portheris. 
 
 *' I think I ought to tell you," he said, '' that my 
 views have undergone a change since I saw you." 
 
 Mrs. Portheris fixed her pi nee nez upon him in sus- 
 picious inquiry. 
 
 " I can even swallow the whale now," he faltered, 
 " like Jonah." 
 
 IW'' 
 
cards, be- 
 
 ;e, that I 
 
 make con- 
 
 " that my 
 
 you." 
 
 m in siis- 
 
 faltered. 
 
 CHAPTEE XXII. 
 
 After two days of the most humid civilitv Mrs. 
 Portheris had brought momma round. It was not an 
 easy process, momma liad such a way of fanning herself 
 and regarding distant objects; and Dicky and I ob- 
 served its difficulties with great satisfaction, for a family 
 matter \vould be the last thini>; anvbodv would venture 
 to discuss with monmia under such circumstances, and 
 we very much preferred that Mrs. Portheris's over- 
 flowing congratulations should be chilled off as long as 
 possible. Dicky was for taking my parents into our 
 confidence as a measure of preparation, but with poppa's 
 commands upon me with regard to Arthur, I felt a 
 delicacy as to the subject of engagements generally. 
 Besides, one never can tell whether one's poppa and 
 momma would back one up in a thing like that. 
 
 I never could quite understand Mrs. Portheris's in- 
 creasingly good opinion of us at this point. The Sena- 
 ton declared that it was because some American shares 
 of hers had gone up in the market, but that struck 
 momma and me as somewhat too general in its applica- 
 tion. I preferred to attribute it to the Senator's Tariff 
 
 Bill. Mr. Mafferton brought us the Times one evening 
 
 '2G3 
 
 r 
 ill 
 
1. i!' 
 
 2CA 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOL.VTION. 
 
 I'.ii 
 
 i 
 III 
 
 illill ! 
 
 m 
 
 ! ; '! 
 1 ^ ',■ 
 
 IH 
 
 ■I 
 
 in Verona, and pointed out with solemn congratulation 
 that the name of J. P. Wick was mentioned four times 
 in the course of its leading article. That journal even 
 said in effect that, if it were not for the faithfully s.is- 
 tained anti-humorous character which had established 
 it for so many generations in the approbation of the 
 British public, it would go so far as to call the contem- 
 plated measure '' AVicked legislation." Mr. Mafferton 
 could not understand why poppa had no desire to cut 
 out the article, lie said there was something so inter- 
 esting about seeing one's name in print — he always did 
 it. I was very curious to see instances of Mr. Maffer- 
 ton's name in print, and finally induced him to show 
 them to me. They were mainly advertisements for lost 
 dogs — " Apply to the Hon. Charles Mafferton," and the 
 reward was very considerable. 
 
 But this has nothing to do with the way the plot 
 thickened on the Lake of Como. I was watching Bel- 
 lagio slip past among the trees on the left shore and 
 "Wondering whether we could hear the nightingales if 
 it were not for the steamer's engines — which was par- 
 ticularly unlikely as it was the middle of the afternoon 
 — and thinking about the trifles that would sometimes 
 divide lives plainly intended to mingle. Mere enuncia- 
 tion, for example, was a thing one could so soon become 
 reaccustomed to; already momma had ceased to con- 
 gratulate me on. my broad a's, and I could not help the 
 inference that my conversation was again unobtrusively 
 Chicagoan. It was frustrating, too, that I had no way 
 
 li: 
 
ratulation 
 our tiiTK a 
 fiial even 
 fully s is- 
 itabJislied 
 n of the 
 '■ contein- 
 lafferton 
 ■e to cut 
 so inter- 
 ■vajs did 
 
 Maffer- 
 to show 
 
 for lost 
 and the 
 
 he plot 
 ng Bel- 
 )re and 
 ?ales if 
 as par- 
 ernoon 
 letinies 
 luncia- 
 )ecome 
 con- 
 sip the 
 isively 
 way 
 
I i 
 
 i Kill 
 
 m 
 
 W^ :."■ 
 
 
 
 01 
 
 11 
 ti 
 rii 
 
 g| 
 b 
 
 Fervent apologies. 
 
 iliiii.ilil 
 
" »ipwmaiw jwf iniywJiwini'vm'wi " 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 2G5 
 
 .T*'^^ •, 
 
 .V 
 
 y 
 
 
 I 
 
 of finding out how much poppa knew, and extremely 
 irritating to think that he knew anything. He was sit- 
 ting near me as I mused, immersed in the American 
 mail, while momma and his Aunt Caroline insensibly 
 glided towards intimacy again on two wicker chairs close 
 by. Mr. Mafferton was counting the luggage some- 
 where; he was never happy on a steamer until he had 
 done that; and Isabel was being fervently apologised 
 to by Dicky on the other side of the deck. I ho})ed 
 she was taking it in the proper spirit. I had the terms 
 all ready in which / should accept an apology, if it were 
 ever offered to me. 
 
 " N^ow, I must not put off any longer telling you 
 how delighted I am at your dear Mamie's re-engage- 
 ment." 
 
 The statement reached us all, though it was in- 
 tended for momma only. Even Mrs. Portheris's more 
 amiable accents had a quality which penetrated far, 
 with a suggestion of whiskers. I looked again languidly 
 at Bellagio, but not until I had observed a rapid glance 
 between my parents, recommending each other not to 
 be taken by surprise. 
 
 " Has she confided in you? " inquired momma. 
 
 " 'No — no. I heard it in a roundabout way. You 
 must be very pleased, dear Augusta. Such an advantage 
 that they have known each other all their lives! " 
 
 Poppa looked guardedly round at me, but by this 
 time I was asleep in my camp chair, the air was so 
 balmily cool after our hot rattle to Como. 
 
'■ i' . ! 
 
 1 ll' 
 jl'lll 
 
 
 W'm 
 
 
 
 wu 
 
 
 ' - II 
 
 266 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " How did you hear? " he demanded, coming 
 straight to the point, while momma struggled after tenta- 
 tive uncertainties. 
 
 '' Oh, a little bird, a little bird — who had it from 
 them both! And much better, I said when I heard it, 
 that she should marry one of her own country-people. 
 American girls nowadays will so often be content with 
 nothing less than an Englishman! " 
 
 " So far as that goes," said the Senator crisply, " we 
 never buy anything we haven't a use for, simply be- 
 cause it's cheap. But I don't mind telling you that 
 my daughter's re-engagement, on the old American 
 lines, is a thing I've been wanting to happen for some 
 time." 
 
 " And there are some really excellent points about 
 Mr. Dod. We must remember that he is still very 
 young. He has plenty of time to repair his fortunes. 
 Of one thing we may be sure," continued Mrs. Portheris 
 magnanimously, " he will make her a very hind hus- 
 band." 
 
 At this I opened my eyes inadvertently — nobody 
 could help it — and saw the barometrical change in pop- 
 pa's countenance. It went down twenty degrees with 
 a run, and wore all the disgust of an hon, gentleman 
 who has jumped to conclusions and found nothing to 
 stand on. 
 
 " Oh, you're away off there, Aunt Caroline," he 
 said with some annoyance. " Better sell your little 
 bird and buy a telephone. Richard Dod is no more 
 
 111 
 
 MM 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 2C7 
 
 engaged to our duiigliter than the man in tlio 
 
 moon. 
 
 5) 
 
 "Well, I should sav not!" exclaimed momma. 
 
 " I have it on the had authority," insisted Mrs. Por- 
 theris blandly. " You American parents are so seldom 
 consulted in these matters. Perhaps the young people 
 have not told you." 
 
 This was a nasty one for both the family and the 
 Republic, and I heard the Senator's rejoinder with sat- 
 isfaction. 
 
 " We don't consider, in the United States, that we're 
 the natural bullies of our children because we happen to 
 be a little older than they are," he said, " but for all 
 that we're not in the habit of hearing much news about 
 them from outsiders. I'll have to get you to promit;e 
 not to go sjireading such nonsense around, Aunt Caro- 
 line." 
 
 " Oh, of course, if you say so, but I should be 
 better satisfied if she denied it herself," said IMrs. 
 Portheris with suavity. " My information was so very 
 exact." 
 
 I had slumbered again, but it did not avail me. 
 I heard the American mail dispersing itself about the 
 deck in all directions as the Senator rose, strode towards 
 my chair, and shook me much more vigorously than 
 there was any necessity for. 
 
 Here's Aunt Caroline," he said, " wanting us to 
 
 u 
 
 believe that you and Dicky Dod are engaged — you two 
 
 that have quarrelled as naturally as brother and sister 
 18 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 ever since you were born. I guess you can tell her 
 whether it's very likely! " 
 
 I yawned, to gain time, but the widest yawn will 
 not cover more than two seconds. 
 
 "What an extraordinary question!" I said. It 
 sounds weak, but that was the way one felt. 
 
 " Don't prevaricate, Mamie, love,'' said Mrs. Por- 
 theris sternly. 
 
 I'm not — I don't. But n-nothing of the kind is 
 announced, is it ? " I was growing nervous under the 
 Senatorial eve. 
 
 ' K^othing of the kind exists,^' said poppa, the Doge 
 all over, except his umbrella. "Does it^" 
 
 " Why no," I said. " Dicky and I aren't engaged. 
 But we have an understanding." 
 
 I was extremely sorry. Mrs. Portheris was so tri- 
 umphant, and poppa allowed his irritation to get so much 
 the better of him. 
 
 " Oh," he said, " you've got an understanding! 
 Well, you've been too intelligent, darned if you 
 haven't! " The Senator pulled his beard in his most 
 uncompromising manner. "'Now you can understand 
 something more. I'm not going to have it. You 
 haven't got my consent and you're not going to get it." 
 
 " But, my dear nephew, the match is so suitable in 
 every respect! Surely you would not stand in the way 
 of a daughter's happiness when both character and posi- 
 tion — position in Chicago, of course, but still — are as- 
 sured! " 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 209 
 
 Poppa paused, uiu'crtaiii for an instant wlictlu'r to 
 turn his wrath n})on his aunt, and that, of i-onrst', was 
 my opportunity to plead witli my angry parent. But 
 the knowledge that the liopc^s which poppa was reduc- 
 ing to dust ana aslies were fervently fixed on a floral hat 
 and a yellow bun over whieh he had no control, on the 
 other side of the shij), overcame me, and I looked at 
 Bellagio to hide my emotions instead, in a way which 
 they might interpret as obstinate, if tluy liked. 
 
 " Aunt Caroline," said the Senator firndy, " TU 
 thank you to keep your spoon out of the preserves, ^ly 
 daughter knows where I have given her hand, and that's 
 the direction she's going with her feet, ^lary, I may 
 as well inform vou that the details of vour wedding are 
 being arranged in Chicago this minute. It will take 
 place within three weeks of our arrival, and it won't 
 be any slump. But Richard Dod might as well be told 
 right now that he won't be in it, unless in the capacity 
 of usher. As I don't contemplate breaking up this party 
 and making things disagreeable all round, youll have 
 to tell him yourself. AVe sail from Liverpool " — poppa 
 looked at his watch — " precisely one week and four 
 hours from now, and if Mr. Dod has not agreed to the 
 conditions I mention by that time we will leave him 
 upon the shore. That's all I have to say, and between 
 now" and then I don't expect you or anybody else to have 
 the nerve to mention the matter to me again." 
 
 After that it was impossible to wink at poppa, or in 
 any way to give him the assurance that my regard for 
 
 
^^' 'nmvni^i^mimmf'msrp^'- 
 
 270 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 him was unimpaired. There are things that can't be 
 passed over with a smile in one's poppa without doing 
 him harm, and this was one of them. It was a regular 
 manifesto, and I felt exactly like Lord Salisbury. I 
 couldn't take him seriously, and yet I had to tell him to 
 come on, if he wanted to, and devote his spare time to 
 learning the language of di[)lomacy. So I merely bowed 
 with what magnificence I could command and filed it, 
 so to si)eak; and walked to the other side of the deck, 
 leaving po})pa to his conscience and monuna and his 
 Aunt Caroline. I left him with confidence, not know- 
 ing which would give him the w'orst time. Mrs. Por- 
 theris began it, before I was out of earshot. " For an 
 American parent," she said blandly, " it strikes me, 
 Joshua, that you are a little severe." 
 
 I found Mr. Mafferton interfering, as I expected, 
 with Dicky and Isabel in their appreciation of the west 
 shore. He was pointing out the Villa Carlotta at Cad- 
 denablJa, and explaining the beauties of the sculptures 
 there and dwelling on the tone of blue in the immediate 
 Alps and reminding them that the elder Pliny once 
 picked wild flowers on these banks, and generally mak- 
 ing himself the intelligent nuisance that nature intended 
 him to be. In spite of it Isabel was radiant. She said 
 a number of things with the greatest ease; one saw^ that 
 language, after all, was not difficult to her, she only 
 w^anted practice and an untroubled mind. I looked at 
 Dicky and saw that a weight had been removed from 
 his, and it was impossible to avoid the conclusion that 
 
'I'w w'W:"«w\w»in'ja'| 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 271 
 
 peace and satisfaction in this life would date for those 
 two, if all went well for the next few days, from the 
 Lake of C'onio. ]>ut all could not be relied ujjon to ^o 
 well so lon<»' as Mr. Malferton hovered, (jiiotinj;' Claudian 
 on the mulberry tree, upon the brink of a i)roj)osal, so 
 I took him awav to translate his (luotation for me in 
 the stern, which naturally sui^gested the i)ast and its 
 emotions. We could now refer (iuite synii)athetii'ally 
 to the altogether irretrievable and gone by, and ^Ir. 
 Mafferton was able to mention ]^ady Tor(pulan without 
 any trace of his air that she was a i)erson, ])oor dear, that 
 brought embarrassment with her. Indeed, 1 sometimes 
 thought he dragged her in. I asked him, in ai)])r()priate 
 phrases, of course, whether he had decided to accept 
 Mrs. Portheris's daughter, and he fixed mournful eyes 
 upon me and said he thought he had, almost. The news 
 of my engagement to ]\[r. I)(jd had apparently done 
 much to bring him to a conclusion; he said it ])ointed 
 so definitely to the unlikelihood of his ever beinir able 
 to find a more stinndating companion than Miss Por- 
 theris, with all her charms, n-as likcdy to ]irove. It was 
 difficult, of course, to see the connection, but I could 
 not help confiding to Mr. ]\Iafferton, as a secret, that 
 there was liardlv anv chance of mv union with Dicky 
 — after what popjia had said. When I assured him that 
 I had no intention whatever of disoI)eying my parent 
 in a matter of which he was so much better (puilified 
 to be a judge than I, it was impossible not to see ^Ir. 
 Maiferton's good opinion of me rising in his face. He 
 
 it 
 
 i 
 
272 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ill 
 
 said he could not help sympathising with the paternal 
 view, but that was all he would sny; he retrained mag- 
 nificently from abusing Dicly. And we parted nmtu- 
 ally more deeply convinced than ever of the undesira- 
 bility of doing anytliing rash in the all important direc- 
 tion we had been discussing. 
 
 As we disembarked at Colico to take tlie train for 
 Chiavenna, Mrs. Portheris, after seeing that Mr. Maf- 
 ferton was collecting the portmanteaux, gave me a word 
 of comfort and of admonition. '' Take my advice, my 
 child," she said, '' and be faithful to poor dear Richard. 
 Your father must, in the end, give way. I shall keep 
 at him in your interests. AVlien you left us this after- 
 noon," continued the ladv mvsteriouslv, " he immedi- 
 ately took out his fountain pen and wrote a letter. It 
 was directed — I saw that much — to a Mr. Arthur Page. 
 Is he the creature who is to be forced upon you, my 
 child ? " Mrs. Portheris in the sentimental view was 
 really affecting. 
 
 " I think it verv likelv," I said calmlv, " but I have 
 promised to be faithful to Richard, Mrs. Portheris, and I 
 will." 
 
 But I really felt a little nervous. 
 
 hi 
 
 i 
 
• PW ;i •unilMII\UUWI|i«||l.flll<l.l>jy.lM»»« 
 
 10 paternal 
 lined niag- 
 ■ ted iiiutu- 
 ' undesira- 
 tant direc- 
 
 train for 
 ^Ir. :\Iaf- 
 ne a word 
 J vice, my 
 
 Richard, 
 ball keep 
 his after- 
 
 immedi- 
 Jttcr. It 
 ur Page, 
 you, my 
 iew was 
 
 t I have 
 is, and I 
 
 CHAPTER XXIII. 
 
 The instant we saw the diligence momma declared 
 that if she had to sit anywhere but in the middle of it 
 she would remain in Chiavenna until next day. Mrs. 
 Portheris was of the same mind. She said that even the 
 interieur would be dangerous enough going down hill, 
 but if the Senator would sit there too she would try 
 not to be nervous. The coupe was terrifying — one saw 
 everything the poor dear horses did — and as to the 
 hanquette she could imagine herself flying out of it, 
 if we so much as went over a stone. As a party we were 
 strangers to the diligence; w^e had all the curiosity and 
 hesitation about it, as Dicky remarked, of the animals 
 when Koah introduced them to the Ark. I asked Dicky 
 to describe the diligence for the purpose of this volume, 
 thinking that it might, here and there, have a reader 
 who had never seen one, and he said that, as soon as 
 he had made up his mind whether it was most like a 
 triumphal chariot in a circus procession or a boudoir car 
 in an ambulance, he would ; but then his eyes wandered 
 to Isabel, who was pinker than ever in the mountain 
 air, and his reasoning faculties left him. A small Ger- 
 man with a very red nose, most incoherent in his ap- 
 
 273 
 
 1. f'- 
 
 i 
 
 m 
 
 ■Hit 
 
 t; 
 
274 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ;" I 
 
 J 
 
 r 
 
 1; \ 
 
 II ' 
 
 
 I'l I 
 
 
 ! I 
 
 i 1 
 
 I ; I 
 
 lii 
 
 parol — lie ini<^lit have been a Baron or again a hair- 
 tlrt'ssor — already occupied one of tiie seats in tlie in- 
 ter iciw., so after our elders iiad been safely depositc'd 
 beside him the batKiucllc and the coupi' were h'ft, as 
 Mrs. Portheris said, to the advent un»us young peopU». 
 Dicky and 1 had cons[)ired, for the sustained effect on 
 !Mrs. Portheris, to sit in the hantiuaHv, while Isabel was 
 to suifer Mr. ^lafferton in the couih' — an arrangement 
 which her mother viewed with entire coni[)lacency. 
 " After all," said .Mrs. Portheris to momma, *' we're not 
 in Hyde Park — and young people will be young peo- 
 ple." We had not counted, however, with the Senator, 
 who suddenly realised, as Dicky was handing me up, 
 that it was his business, in the capacity of Doge, to in- 
 terfere. It is to his credit that he found it embarrassing, 
 on account of his natural, almost paternal, dislike to 
 make things unpleasant for Dicky. He assumed a stern- 
 ly impenetrable expression, thought about it for a mo- 
 ment, and then approached Mr. Mafferton. 
 
 " I'd be obliged to you," he said, ^' if you could 
 arrange, without putting yourself out any, to change 
 places with young Dod, there, as far as St. Moritz. I 
 have my reasons — but not necessarily for publication. 
 See?" 
 
 Mr. Mafferton's eye glistened with appreciation of 
 the confidence reposed in him. " I shall be most happy," 
 lie said, " if Dod doesn't mind." But Dicky, with in- 
 decent haste, was already in the coupe. " Don't men- 
 tion it, Mafferton," lie said out of the window. " I'm 
 
I 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 275 
 
 (leliglitod — at least — wliatevor tlio Senator says lias ^ot 
 to be done, of eonrse," and lie made an attempt to look 
 hurt tiiat would not have imijoscd upon anybody but a 
 self-constituted J)oii'e witli i li'uiltv eonscirnce. I took 
 my bereavement in stony eabn, with possibly just a 
 suggestion about my eyebrows and un<h'r-lip that some 
 day, on the far free shores of Lake -Micbigan, a down- 
 trodden daughter would re-assert herself; i)oppa re-en- 
 tered an intcricur darkened by a tbumU'r-eloud on the 
 brow of his Aunt (Airoline; and we started. 
 
 It was some time before ^Ir. ^raiferton interfered 
 in the least with the Engadine. He seemed wrapped in 
 a cloud of vain imaginings, sprung, obviously, from 
 poppa's ill-considered rei|uest. 1 understood his emo- 
 tions and carefully respected his silence. I was unwill- 
 ing to be instructed about the Engadine either botanic- 
 ally or geologically — it was more agreeable not to know 
 the names of the lovely little foreign flowers, and (juite 
 pleasant enough that every turn in the road showed 
 us a white mountain or a purple one without having to 
 understand what it was made of. Besides, T particularly 
 did not wish to precipitate anything, and tliere are mo- 
 ments when a mere remark aboiit the weather will do 
 it. I had been suffering a good deal from my conscience 
 since Mrs. Portheris had told me that poppa had written 
 to Arthur — I didn't mind him enduring unnumbered 
 pangs of hope deferred, but it was quite another thing 
 that he should undergo the unnccessarv martvrdoni 
 of imagining that he had been superseded by Dicky 
 
 I 
 
 U 
 
 u 
 
il' ll 
 
 27t) 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ! :' i; 
 
 ''.'' I 
 
 ""ij!:: 
 
 ll I ' 
 
 mi: 
 
 I p 
 
 ])()<!. On rcfk'ction, I thou^lit it would bo safer to start 
 ^Mr. Mjiircrton on the usual lines, and I nerved nivself 
 to ask liini whether he e(>uld tell me anything about 
 the prehistoric apitearance of these lovely mountains. 
 
 " 1 am glad," he resj)on(le(l absently, " that you ad- 
 mire my favourite Alps/' Xothing more. I tried to 
 priek him to the consideration of the scenery by asking 
 him which were his favourite Alps, but this also came 
 to nothing. Having acknowledged his approval of the 
 Alps, he seemed willing to let them go unadorned by 
 either fact or fancy. 1 offered him sandwiches, but he 
 seemed to prefer his moustache. Presently he roused 
 himself. 
 
 " I'm afraid you must think me very uninteresting, 
 Miss Wick," he said. 
 
 " Dear me, no," I replied. " On the contrary, I 
 think you arc a lovely type." 
 
 " Type of an Englishman? " ^Ir. ^lafferton was not 
 disj)leased. 
 
 " Type of some Englishmen. You would not care 
 to represent the — ah, commercial cla.^scs? " 
 
 " If I had been born in that station," replied ]\Ir. 
 Mafferton modestly, " I should be very glad to repre- 
 sent them. But I should not care to be a Labour candi- 
 date." 
 
 " It wouldn't be very appropriate, would it? " I sug- 
 gested. " But do you ever mean to run for anything, 
 rcallv?" 
 
 " Certainly not," Mr. Mafferton replied, with slight 
 
A VOYAGE or CONSOLATION. 
 
 277 
 
 not care 
 
 rcsentiiioiit. " In our funiilv wo novcr niii. Hut, of 
 course, 1 will succeed uiy uucle in the I.' )))><'•■ House." 
 
 *' Dear me! " 1 exclaimed. '* So vou will I I sli(.)uld 
 think it would be simply lovely to i)e born a legislator. 
 ]n our country it is attained by such jiaiiihil degrees.'* 
 It flashed upon me in a moment why .Mr. MailVrtou was 
 so industrious in collecting general information. Ilo 
 was storing it up against the day when he would be able 
 to make s])eechos, which nobody could interrupt, in the 
 House of Lords. 
 
 The conversation flagged again, and I was driven 
 to comment U])on the appearance of the little (lerman 
 down in the intcricur. It was (juite remarkable, apart 
 from the bloom on his nose, his pale-blu(> eyes wandered 
 so irresponsibly in their sockets, and his scanty, flaxen 
 beard made such an unsuccessful effort to disguise the 
 amiability of his chin, lie wore a braideil cotton coat 
 to keep cool, and a woollen comforter to keep warm, 
 and from time to time he smilingly invited the atten- 
 tion of the other three to rast green maps of the coun- 
 try, which I could see him apologising for spreading 
 over Mrs. Portheris's capacious lap. It was interesting 
 to watch his joyons sense of being in foreign society, 
 and his determination to be agreeable even if he had to 
 talk all the time. Now and then a sentence bubbled 
 up over the noise of the wheels, as when he had the 
 happiness to discover the nationalities of his fellow- 
 travellers. 
 
 " Ach, is it so? From England, from America also, 
 
I ! 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 and I from Markadorf am! Four peoples, to sec zls so 
 beautiful Switzerland from everyveres in one carriage 
 we are come! " lie smiled at them one after another 
 in the innocent joy of this wonderful fact, and it made 
 me quite unhappy to see how unresponsive they had 
 grown. 
 
 " In America I liaf one uncle got— 
 
 J) 
 
 " No, I don't know him," said the Senator, who was 
 extremely tired of being expected to keep up with soci- 
 ety in Castle Garden. 
 
 " But before I vas born going, mein uncle I myself 
 haf never seen ! To Chicago mit nossings he went, und 
 now letters ve are always getting it is goot saying." 
 
 "Made money, has he?" poppa inquired, with in- 
 difference. 
 
 " Mit some small flours of large manufacture sell- 
 Dose small flours — ze name forgotten I haf — ze 
 
 mg. 
 
 )> 
 
 breads making, ze cakes making, ze miidsclien— 
 
 "Baking powder!" divined momma. 
 
 " Bakings — powder! In America it is moch eat. 
 So mine uncle Blittens " 
 
 " Josef Blittens? " exclaimed poppa. 
 
 " Blittens und Josef also! The name of mine uncle 
 to you is known! He is so rich, mit carriage, piano, 
 large family — he is now famous also, hein? My goot 
 uncle! " 
 
 " He's been my foreman for fifteen years," said 
 poppa, " and I don't care where he came from ; he's as 
 good an American now as there is in the Union. I am 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 279 
 
 to sec zis so 
 
 pleased to make the acquaintance of any member of his 
 family. There's nothing in the way of refreshments to 
 be got till we next change horses, but as soon as that 
 happens, sir, I hope you will take something." 
 
 After that we began to rattle down the other side 
 of the Julier and I lost the thread of the conversation, 
 but I saw that Ilerr Blittens' determination to practise 
 English was completely swamped in the Senator's desire 
 to persuade him of the advantages of emigration. 
 
 " I never see a foreigner in his native land," said 
 Mr. Maiferton, regarding this one with disapproval, 
 " without thinking what a pity it is that any portion of 
 the earth, so desirable for instance as this is, should 
 belong to him." Which led me to suggest that when 
 he entered political life in his native land Mr. Maffer- 
 ton should aim at the Cabinet, he was obviously so well 
 qualified to sustain British traditions. 
 
 My companion's mind seemed to be so completely 
 diverted by this prospect that I breathed again. He 
 could be depended upon I knew, never to think seriously 
 of me when there was an opportunity of thinking seri- 
 ously of himself, and in that certainty I relaxed my 
 efforts to make it quite impossible that anything should 
 happen. I forgot the contingencies of the situation in 
 finding whiter glaciers and deeper gorges, and looking 
 for the Bergamesque sheep and their shepherds which 
 Baedeker assured us were to be seen pasturing on the 
 slopes and heights of the Julier wearing long curling 
 locks, mantles of brown wool, and peaked Calabrian 
 
^'11 I 
 
 1 I 
 
 
 li 
 
 
 ' 
 
 
 i • 
 
 1 
 
 2S0 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 hats. AVc grew quite frivolous over this phenomenon, 
 Avhich did not appear, and it was only after some time 
 that we observed the Baedeker to be of 1877, and de- 
 cided that the home of truth was not in old editions. 
 It seemed to me afterwards that Mr. Mafferton had been 
 waiting for his opportunity; he certainly took advan- 
 tage of a very insufficient one. 
 
 " It's exactly," said I, talking of the compartments 
 of the diligence, ''as if Isabel and Dicky had the first 
 floor front, monnna and poppa the dining room, and you 
 and I the second floor back." 
 
 It was one of those things that one lives to repent 
 if one survives them five seconds; but niv remorse was 
 immediately swallowed up in consequences. I do not 
 propose to go into the details of Mr, Mafferton's second 
 attempt upon my insignificant hand — to be precise, I 
 wear fives and a quarter — but he began by saying that 
 he thought we could do better than that, meaning the 
 second floor back, and he mentioned Park Lane. He 
 also said that ever since Dicky, doubtless before his 
 affections had become involved, had told him that there 
 was a possibility of my changing my mind — I was nearly 
 false to Dicky at this point — he had been giving the 
 matter his best consideration, and he had finally de- 
 cided that it was only fair that I should have an oppor- 
 tunity of doing so. These were not his exact words, 
 but I can be quite sure of my impression. AVe were 
 trotting past the lake at Maloja when this came upon 
 me, and when I reflected that I owed it about equally 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 2Sl 
 
 to poppa and to Dicky Dod I felt that I could luive 
 personally cnastised tlieni — could have slapped them 
 — both. What I longed to do with ^Ir. Alatrerton was 
 to hurl him, figuratively speaking, down an abyss, but 
 that would have been to send him into ^Irs. Portheris's 
 beckoning arms next morning, and I had little faith in 
 any floral hat and pink bun once its mamma's commands 
 were laid upon it. I thought of my cradle companion 
 — not tenderlv, I confess — and told ^Ir. Mailerton that 
 I didn't know what I had done to deserve such an lumoiir 
 a second time, and asked him if he had pro[)erly consid- 
 ered the effect on Isabel. I added that 1 fancied Dickv 
 was generalising about American girls changing their 
 minds, but I would try and see if I had changed mine 
 and would let him know in six davs, at Harwich. Anv 
 decision made on this side of the Channel might so easilv 
 be upset. And this I did knowing quite well that Dicky 
 and Isabel and I were all to elope from Boulogne, Dicky 
 and Isabel for frivolity and I for propriety; for this had 
 been arranged. In writing a descri])tion of our English 
 tour I do not wish to exculjiate myself in any particular. 
 
 We arrived late at St. Moritz, and the little Ger- 
 man, on a very fraternal footing, was still talking as 
 the party descended from the inter ienr. He spoke of 
 the butterflies the day before in Pontresina, and he 
 laughed with delight as he recounted. 
 
 " Vortv mavbe der vas, viftv der vas, mit der dili- 
 gence vlying along; und der brittiest of all I catch; he 
 vill come at my nose " 
 
 .. 
 
CHAPTER XXIV. 
 
 Leaving out the scenery — the Senator declares that 
 nothing spoils a book of travels like scenery — the im- 
 pressions of St. Moritz which remain with me have 
 something of the quality, for me, of the illustrations in 
 a French novel. I like to consult them; they are so 
 crisp and daintily '^ciined and isolated and individual. 
 Yet I can only write about an upper class German 
 mamma eating brodchen and honey with three fair 
 square daughters, young, younger, youngest, and not a 
 flaxen hair mislaid among them, and the intelligent 
 accuracy with which they looked out of the window 
 and said that it was a horse, the horse was lame, and it 
 was a pity to drive a lame horse. Or about the two 
 American ladies from the south, creeping, wrapped up 
 in sealskins, along the still white road from the Hof to 
 the Bad, and saying one to the other, " Isn't it nice 
 to feel the sun on yo' back? " Or about ^the curio shops 
 on the ridge where the politest little Frenchwomen en-' 
 deavour to persuade you that you have come to the very 
 top of the Engadine for the purpose of buying Japan- 
 ese candlesticks and Italian scarves to carry down again. 
 
 283 
 
 It was al 
 everythin] 
 and its It 
 trouble a\| 
 can't des( 
 alternativ 
 on St. Mol 
 one of Mr 
 in his life 
 warm wat 
 note of th' 
 " You noA 
 things ma 
 to the eife 
 Before 
 come and 
 find a mer 
 rains who] 
 in which ^ 
 if you con 
 should no 
 Dukes of 
 do so. A\ 
 tween Coi 
 Rorshach 
 
 19 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 283 
 
 declares that 
 317 — the im- 
 th me have 
 ustrations in 
 they are so 
 1 individuaL 
 ass German 
 I three fair 
 I", and not a 
 ! intelligent 
 the window 
 ame, and it 
 )ut the two 
 wrapped up 
 the Hof to 
 5n't it nice 
 curio shops 
 women en-' 
 to the very 
 ing Japan- 
 own again. 
 
 It was all so clear and sharp and still at St. Moritz; 
 everything drew a double signiticance from its heiglit 
 and its loneliness. But, as poppa says, a groat deal of 
 trouble would be saved if people who feel that tlicy 
 can't describe things would be willing to consider the 
 alternative of leaving them alone; and I will only dwell 
 on St. Moritz long enough to say that it nearly shattered 
 one of Mr. Maiferton's most cherished principles. Xever 
 in his life before, he said, had he felt inclined to take 
 warm water in his bath in the morniug. He made a 
 note of the temperature of his tub to send to the Times. 
 " You never can tell," he said, '' the effect these little 
 things may have." I was beginulng to be accustomed 
 to the effect thev had on me. 
 
 Before we got to Coire the cool rushing night had 
 come and the glaciers had blotted tliemselves out. I 
 find a mere note against Coire to the effect that it often 
 rains when you arrive there, and also that it is a phice 
 in which you may count on sleeping particularly sound 
 if you come by diligence; but there is no reason why I 
 should not mention that it was uuder tlie swav of the 
 Dukes of Swabia until 1268, as momma wishes me to 
 do so. We took the train there for Constance, and be- 
 tween Coire and Constance, on the Bodensee, occurre I 
 Rorshach and Romanshorn; but we didn't get out, aud, 
 as momma says, there was nothing in the least indi- 
 vidual about their railway stations. We went on that 
 Bodensee, however, I remember with animosity, taking 
 
 a small steamer at Constance for Xeuhausen. It was 
 , 19 
 
 
i 
 
 I i! 
 
 n!:i ! 
 
 284 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 a gray and sulky Bodcnscc, full of little dull waves and 
 a cold head wind that never changed its mind for a 
 moment. Isabel and I huddled together for comfort 
 on the very hard wooden seat that ran round the deck, 
 and the depth of our misery may be gathered from the 
 fact that, when the wind caught Isabel's floral hat under 
 the brim and cast it suddenlv into that bodv of water, 
 neither of us looked round! Mrs. Porthv.ris was very 
 much annoyed at our unhappy indiiference. She im- 
 plied that it was precisely to enable Isabel to stop a 
 steamer on the Bodensee in an emergency of this sort 
 that she had had her taught German. Dicky told me 
 privately that if it had happened a week before he would 
 have gone overboard in pursuit, for the sake of business, 
 without hesitation, but, under the present happy cir- 
 cumstances, he preferred the prospect of buying a new 
 hat. Xothing else actually transpired during the after- 
 noon, though there were times when other events seemed 
 as precipitant, to most of us, as upon the tossing Atlan- 
 tic, and we made port without having realised anything 
 about the Bodensee, except that we would rather not 
 be on it. 
 
 Keuhausen was the port, biit Schaffhausen was of 
 course the place, two or three dusty miles along a river 
 the identity of which revealed itself to Mrs. Portheris 
 through the hotel omnibus windows as an inspiration. 
 " Do we all fully understand," she demanded, " that we 
 are looking upon the Rhine ? " And we endeavoured 
 to do so, though the Senator said that if it were not so 
 

 hill waves and 
 ts mind for a 
 r for comfort 
 ►nnd tlie deck, 
 ercd from the 
 oral hat under 
 )odv of water, 
 icris was very 
 lice. She im- 
 ibel to stop a 
 'J of this sort 
 )icky told me 
 fore he would 
 ^e of business, 
 nt happy cir- 
 3uying a new 
 ins; the after- 
 vents seemed 
 ossing Atlan- 
 ised anvthino; 
 d rather not 
 
 iusen was of 
 ilong a river 
 rs. Portheris 
 
 inspiration. 
 
 d, " that we 
 endeavoured 
 
 were not so 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 
 intimately connected with the lake we had just been 
 delivered from he would luive felt more cordial about 
 it. I should like to have it understood that relations 
 were hardly what might be called strained at this time 
 between the Senator and myself. There were subjects 
 which we avoided, and we had enough regard for our 
 dignity, respectively, not to drop into personalities what- 
 ever we did, but we had a modus vivendi, we got along. 
 Dickv maintained a noble and i)ained reserve, iiivinjr 
 poppa hours of thought, out of which he emerged with 
 tlie almost visible reliection that a AVick never changed 
 his mind. 
 
 There was a garden with funny little flowers in it 
 which went out of fashion in America about tweutv vears 
 ago. There Avas also a chalet in the garden, where W(; 
 saw at once that we could buy cuckoo clocks and edel- 
 weiss and German lace if we wanted to. I'here was a 
 big hotel full of people speaking strange languages — 
 by this time we all sympathised with Mr. Mafferton in 
 his resentment of foreigners in Continental hotels; as 
 he said, one expected them to do their travelling in Eng- 
 land. There were the '" Laufeii " foaming down the 
 valley under the dining room windows, there were the 
 Swiss waitresses in short petticoats and velvet bodices 
 and white chemisettes, and at the dinner table, sitting 
 precisely opposite, there were the Malts. ^l\\ ]\ralt, Mrs. 
 Malt, Emmeline Malt, and Miss Callis, not one of them 
 missing. The Malts whom we had left at Rome, left in 
 the same hotel with Count Filgiatti, and to some purpose 
 
28G 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 apparently, for seated attentively next to Mrs. Malt 
 there also was that diminutive nobleman. 
 
 As a family we saw at a glance that America was 
 not likely to be (he poorer by one Count in spite of the 
 way we had behaved to him. Miss Callis, with four 
 thousand dollars a year of her own, was going to offer 
 them up to sustain the traditions of her country. A 
 Count, if she could help it, should not go a-begging- 
 more than twice. Further impressions were lost in the 
 shock of greeting, but it recurred to me instantly to won- 
 der whether Miss Callis had really gone into the ques- 
 tion of keeping a Count on that income, whether she 
 would be able to give him all the luxuries he had been 
 brought up in anticipation of. It w'as interesting to ob- 
 serve the slight embarrassment \vith which Count Fil- 
 giatti re-encountered his earlier American vision, and his 
 re-assurance when I gave him the bow of the most trav- 
 elling of acquaintances. Nothing was further from my 
 thoughts than interfering. AVhen I considered the num- 
 ber of engagements upon my hands already, it made 
 me quite faint to contemplate even an arrangimento in 
 addition to them. 
 
 "We told the Malts where w^e had been and tliev told 
 us where they had been as well as w^e could across the 
 table without seeming too confidential, and after dinner 
 Emmeline led the way to the enclosed verandah which 
 commanded the Falls. " Come along, ladies and gentle- 
 men," said Emmeline, " and see the great big old Schaff- 
 hausen Fraud. Performance begins at nine o'clock ex- 
 
1)1 ij III ,^FVipin[|nqpT 
 
 to Mrs. Malt 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 2S7 
 
 actly, and no reserve seats, so unless you want to get left, 
 Mrs. Portheris, you'd better put a hustle on." 
 
 Miss ^lalt had gone through several [)roeesses of an- 
 nihilation at ^Irs. Portheris's hands, and had alwavs 
 come out of them so niueh livelier than ever, that our 
 Aunt Caroline had abandoned her to America some time 
 2)reviously. 
 
 " Emmeline! " exclaimed Mrs. Malt, '' you are loo 
 personal. 
 
 " She ought to be sent to the children's table," ]\Irs. 
 Portheris remarked severely. 
 
 " Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Portheris. I don't like 
 milk puddings — they give you a double chin. I ex[»ect 
 you've eaten a lot of 'em in your time, haven't you. 
 Mis' Portheris? Xow, Mr. MaiTerton, you sit here, and 
 you, Mis' Wick, you sit here. That's right, Mr. AVick, 
 you hold up the wall. I ain't proud, I'll sit on the floor 
 — there now, we're every one fixed. Xo, Mr. Dod, none 
 of us ladies object to smoking — Mis' Portheris smokes 
 herself, don't you. Mis' Portheris? " 
 
 ^' Emmeline, if you pass another remark to bed you 
 go! " exclaimed her mother with unction. 
 
 " I was fourteen the dav before yesterday, and you 
 don't send people of fourteen to bed. I got a town lot 
 for a birthday present. Oh, there's the French gentle- 
 man! Bo7i soir, Monsieur! Comment va-t-il! At- 
 tendez!" and we were suddenly bereft of Emme- 
 line. 
 
 " She's gone to play poker with that man from Mar- 
 
 I 
 
 Hi 
 
 'J 
 1,1 
 
ill 
 
 288 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 ;,i ;i!M!l^ 
 
 " ' 'III 
 
 111 rlllllillll 
 
 m 
 
 1 
 11 
 
 scIUes," reniarkc'd Mrs. Malt. " llcally, husband, I 
 don't know " 
 
 "You able to put a limit on the game?" asked 
 poppa. 
 
 Everybody laughed, and ]\rr. ]\lalt said that it wasn't 
 possible for Kmmeline to play for money because she 
 never could keep as much as five francs in her ])osses- 
 sion, but if she did he'd think it necessary to warn the 
 man from Marseilles that Miss ^Lalt knew the game. 
 
 " And she's perfectly right," continued her father, 
 " in describing this illumination business as a fraud. I 
 don't say it isn't pretty enough, but it's a fraud this way, 
 they don't give you any choice about paying your money 
 for it. Xow we didn't start boarding at this hotel, we 
 went to the one down there on the other side of the 
 river. AVe were very much fatigued when we arrived, and 
 e\'ery member of our party went straight to bed. Xext 
 day — I always call for my bills daily — what do I find in 
 my account but 'Illioninaliun de la chute de la Rhin^ 
 one franc apiece." 
 
 " And you hadn't ordered anything of the kind," 
 said poppa. 
 
 " Ordered it? I hadn't even seen it! Well, I didn't 
 lose my temper. I took the document down to the 
 office and asked to have it explained to me. The ex- * 
 planation was that it cost the hotel a large sum of 
 money. I said I guessed it did, and it was also prob- 
 ably expensive to get hot and cold water laid on, but 
 I didn't see any mention of that in the bill, though I 
 
■••!«■ n;^ 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 2S9 
 
 used tliC hot and cold water, and didn't use the illumina- 
 tion." 
 
 " That's so," said pt)j)pa. 
 
 " Well, then the fellow said it was done all on my 
 account, or words to that effeet, and that it was a heau- 
 tiful illumination and worth twice the nionev, and as 
 it was the rule of the hotel he'd have to trouble me for 
 the price of it." 
 
 "Did you oblij!;e him^" asked poppa. 
 
 " Yes, I did. I hated to awfuUv, but von never can 
 tell where the law will land you in a foreign country, 
 especially when you can't converse with the judge, and 
 I don't expect any stranger couhl get justice in SchafT- 
 hausen against an hotel anyway. But I sent for my 
 party's trunks, and we moved — down there to that little 
 thing like a castle overhanging the Falls. It was a castle 
 once, I believe, but it's a deception now, for they've 
 turned it into an hotel." 
 
 " Find it comfortable there? " intpiired the Senator. 
 
 " Well, Fm telling you. Pretty comfortable. You 
 could sit in the garden and get as wet as you liked from 
 the spray, and no extra charge; and if you wanted to 
 eat apricots at the same time they only cost you a franc 
 apiece. So when I saw how moderate they were every 
 way, I didn't think I'd have any trouble about the illu- 
 mination, specially as I heard that the three hotels which 
 compose Schaifhausen subscribed to run the electric 
 plant, and I'd already helped one hotel with its sub- 
 scription." 
 
 f 
 
 !' f: , 
 
 'f, 
 
 l\ 
 
 t 
 
 I 
 
t im' 
 
 M 
 ll! Ill 
 
 wv 
 
 III ' 
 
 1! ,il 
 
 ! 
 
 K ill 
 ill'l 
 
 1 ''.„ 
 
 m 
 
 ' ii 
 
 ll! Illlil 
 
 y 
 
 290 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 " Wlicii did y(Hi move in here?" aakcd poppa. 
 
 " 1 am comiiij^' to that. Wt'll, I saw the sliow tliat 
 night. 1 hai)p('iu'd to he on nn outside balcony when 
 it came otF, and 1 couldn't help seeing it. I wouldn't 
 let mvselt" out so far as to enjov it, for fear it might 
 prejudice nu' later, hut I certainly looked on. You 
 can't keep your eyes shut for three-cpuirters of an hour 
 for the sake of a |)rinci|)le valued at a franc a head." 
 
 " I expect you had to pay," said poppa. 
 
 " You're so impatient. 1 looked coldly on, and be- 
 tween the different coloured acts 1 made a calcukition 
 of the amount the hotel o])posite was losing by its ex- 
 tortion. I took considerable satisfaction in doing it. 
 Y^'ou can get excited over a little tiling like that just as 
 much as if it were the entire Monroe Doctrine; and I 
 couldn't sleep, hardly, that night for thinking of the 
 things I'd say to the hotel clerk if the illumination item 
 decorated the bill next day. Cut myself shaving in the 
 morning over it — thing I never do. AVell, there it was 
 — ' lUiuninatioii de la chide tie la llliin,^ same old 
 French story, a franc apiece. '^ 
 
 " I thought, somehow, from what you've been say- 
 ing, that it would be there," remarked the Senator pa- 
 tiently. 
 
 " Well, sir, I tried to control myself, but I guess the 
 clerk would tell you I was pretty wild. There wasn't 
 an argument I didn't use. I threw as many lights on 
 the situation as they did on the Falls. I asked him how 
 it would be if a person preferred his Falls plain? I told 
 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 201 
 
 liim T paid liliii board and lod^inu' for wliat Si'liairiiaiiscii 
 cMnild show liic, not for wliat I could sliow ScliatVliau.-en. 
 1 UfJL'd llio wortls ' pillayc,' 'outrage,' and otlicr nnniis- 
 takal)le terms, and I spoke of eonininni('atin«i,' tlie nuit- 
 ter to the American Consul at lierne." 
 
 ''And after tliat^" in([uired the Senator. 
 
 " Oh, it wasn't any use. After that 1 i)aid, and 
 moved. .Moved right u\) here, this nioriung. IJut I 
 thought about it a good deal on the way, and concluded 
 that, if I wasn't prepared to sample every hotel within 
 ten miles of this cataract for tlie sake of not beinjr im- 
 posed upon, I'd have to take up a diH'erent atlitude. So 
 I walked up to the manager the minute we arrived, tierce 
 as an Englishman — beg your pardon, Spiire Matbrton, 
 but the British have a ferocious wav with hotel man- 
 
 t. 
 
 agers, as a rule. I didn't mean anything j)ersonal — and 
 said to him exactly as if it was my hotel, and he was 
 merely stopping in it, ' Sir,' I said, ' I understand that 
 the guests of this hotel are allowed to subscribe to an 
 electric illumination of the Falls of the Rhine. You 
 may jnit me down for ten francs. Xow I'm prepared, 
 for the first time, to appreciate the evening's entertain- 
 ment." 
 
 Shortly after the recital of Mr. ^Malt's experiences 
 the illumination began, and we realised what it was to 
 drink coffee in fairyland. Poppa advises me, however, 
 to attempt no description of the Falls of Schaffhausen 
 by any light, because " there," he says, " you will come 
 into competition with Ruskin." The Senator is per- 
 
liliH ! ' i liMir 
 
 lii! 
 
 f 
 
 & 
 
 ll 
 
 '< i I 
 
 1 
 
 ^'1 I 
 
 ill 
 
 li 
 
 Wi 
 
 292 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 fectly satisfied witli Ruslvin's description of the Falls; 
 he says he doesn't believe much could be added to it. 
 Though he himself was somewhat depressed by them, 
 lie found that he liked them so much better than Niag- 
 ara. 1 heard him myself tell five different Alpine climb- 
 ers, in precise figures, how much more water went over 
 our own cataract. 
 
 It was discovered that evening that Mr. and Mrs. 
 Malt, and Ennneline, and Miss Callis and the Count 
 were going on to Heidelberg and down the Rhine by 
 precisely the same train and steamer that we had our- 
 selves selected. Mrs. Malt was looking forward to the 
 ruins on the embattled Rhine with all the enthusiasm 
 we liad expended ujion Venice, but Mr. Malt declared 
 himself so full of the picturescpie already that he didn't 
 'vnow how he was going to hold another castle. 
 
lVi|««liJiau.lM 
 
 of the Falls; 
 : a(ld(3d to it. 
 icd by them, 
 -T than Xiag- 
 ilpine climb- 
 er went over 
 
 Ir. and Mrs. 
 1 the Count 
 le Rhine by 
 we had our- 
 'ward to the 
 ' enthusiasm 
 [alt declared 
 lat he didn't 
 3tle. 
 
 CIIAPTER XXY. 
 
 ^Ve were on our way from Basle to Heidelberg, I re- 
 member, and Mr. ^lalt was commeiitiug sarcastically 
 upon Swiss resources for naming towns as exemplitied 
 in " Xeuhausen." '' There's a lot about this country," 
 said Mr. Malt, '' that reminds you of the world as it 
 appeared about the time you built it for yourself every 
 dav with blocks, and made it livelv with animals out of 
 vour Xoah's Ark. I can't sav what it is, but that's a 
 sample of it — ' Xew Houses ! ' What a baby baa-lamb 
 name for a town! It would settle the municii)ality in 
 our part of the world — any railway would nud^e a cir- 
 cuit of liftv miles to avoid it! " 
 
 Mr. Mafferton and I had paused in our conversation, 
 and these remarks reached us in full. They gave him 
 the opportunity of bending a s^'mpathetic glance upon 
 me and saying, " How graphic your countrymen are. 
 Miss Wick." Cologne was only three days off, but ^Ir. 
 ]\Iaiferton never departed from the proprieties in his 
 form of address. He was in that respect quite the most 
 docile and respectful person I have ever found it neces- 
 sary to keep in suspense. 
 
 I said the}^ were not all as pictorial as Mr. Malt, and 
 
 293 
 
▼IT' f" wrf.-r" • 
 
 I Ml 
 
 
 
 3 ' i 
 
 I ! 
 
 i 
 
 !!■ 'ii ■" 
 
 1 
 
 '''II' 
 'ill 
 
 iii; ill Hill II 
 
 tij 
 
 i 
 
 *:■" ! 1 
 
 ! 
 
 alt ' ' >''! I 
 l||''iUl!l !i 
 
 III 
 
 294 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 noticed that his eye was wandering. It had wandered 
 to Miss Callis, who was snubbing the Count, and look- 
 ing wonderfully well. I don't know whether I have 
 mentioned that she had blue eyes and black hair, but 
 her occui)ation, of course, would be becoming to any- 
 body. 
 
 " And for the matter of that your countrywomen, 
 too," said Mr. Maiferton. " I am much gratified to have 
 the opportunity of making the acquaintance of another 
 of them in this unexpected way. I find your friend. 
 Miss Callis, a charming creature." 
 
 She wasn't my friend, but the moment did not seem 
 opportune for saying so. 
 
 " I saw you talking a good deal to her yesterday," 
 I said. 
 
 Mr. Mafferton twisted his moustache with a look of 
 guilt}' satisfaction which I found hard to bear. '' Must 
 I cry Pcccavi? '^ he said. "You see you were so — er 
 — preoccupied. You said you would rather hear about 
 the growth of the Swiss Confederacy and its relation 
 to the Helvetia of the Ancients another day." 
 
 " That was quite true," I said indignantly. 
 
 " I found Miss Callis anxious to be informed with- 
 out delay," said Mr. Mafferton, with a slightly rebuking 
 accent. " She has a very open mind," he went on 
 musingly. 
 
 " Oh, wonderfully," I said. 
 
 " And a highly retentive memory. It seems she 
 was shown over our place in Surrey last summer. She 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 295 
 
 til a look of 
 
 described it to me in the most perfect detail. She must 
 be very observant." 
 
 ^' She's as observant as ever she can be/' I remarked. 
 " I expect she could describe you in the most perfect 
 detail too, if she tried." I sweetened this with an ex- 
 terior smile, but 1 felt extremelv rude inside. 
 
 " Oh, I fear I could not Hatter mvself — but how 
 interesting that would be! One has alwavs had a de- 
 sire to know the impression one makes as a whole, so 
 to speak, upon a fresh and unsophisticated young intelli- 
 gence like that." 
 
 " Well," I said, " there isn't anv reason wliv vou 
 
 7 7 f' t V 
 
 shouldn't find out at once." For the Count had melted 
 away, and Miss Callis was not nearly so much occupied 
 with her novel as she appeared to be. 
 
 Mr. Mafferton rose, and again stroked his moustache, 
 with a quizzical disciplinary air. 
 
 " Oh woman, in your hours of ease 
 Uncertain, coy, and hard to please ! " 
 
 he quoted. " You are a very whimsical young lady, 
 but since you send me away I must abandon you." 
 
 " Thanks so much! " I said. " I mean — 1 have my- 
 self to blame, I know," and as ^Ir. ^[aflPerton droi)ped 
 into the seat opposite ^[iss Callis I saw ^Irs. Portheris 
 regard him austerely, as one for whom it was possible to 
 make too much allowance. 
 
 In connection with Heidelberg I wish there were 
 something authentic to say about Perkeo; but nobody 
 would believe the quantity of wine he is supposed to 
 
 

 290 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 have drunk in a day, which is the statement oftenest 
 made about him, so it is of no conse(iuence that I have 
 forgotten the number of bottles, lie isn't the patron 
 saint of Heidelberg, because he only lived about a hun- 
 dred and fifty years ago, and the first qualification for 
 a patron saint is antiquity. As poppa says, there may 
 be elderly gentlemen in Heidelberg now whose grand- 
 fathers have warned them against the personal habits 
 of Perkeo from actual observation. Also we know that 
 he was a court jester, and the pages of the Calendar, 
 for some reason, are closed to persons in that walk of 
 life. Judging by the evidences of his poi)ularity that 
 survive on all sides, ^Ir. Malt declared that he was ])rob- 
 ablv worth more to the town in attracting residents and 
 investors than half-a-dozen patron saints, and in this 
 there may have been more truth than reverence. The 
 Elector Charles Philip, whose court he jested for, cer- 
 tainly made no such mark upon his town and time as 
 Perkeo did, and in that, perhaps, there is a moral for 
 sovereigns, although the Senator advises me not to dwell 
 upon it. At all events, one writes of Heidelberg but 
 one thinks of- Perkeo, as he swings from the sign-boards 
 of the Ilaupt-Strasse, and stands on the lids of the beer 
 mugs, and smiles from the extra-mural decoration of the 
 wine shops, and lifts his glass, in eternally good wooden 
 fellowship, beside the big Tun in the Castle cellar. 
 There is a Hotel Perkeo, there nuist be Clubs Perkeo, 
 probably a suburb and steamboats of the same name, 
 and the local oath " Per Perkeo! " has a harmless sound, 
 
iiont ofteiiest 
 c that I have 
 't the patron 
 about a liUM- 
 ilification for 
 s, there may 
 vhose grancl- 
 fsonal liabits 
 -e know tliat 
 le Calendar, 
 hi\t walk of 
 )ularitv that 
 ;ie was ])rob- 
 esidents and 
 Emd in this 
 ■once. The 
 ?d 
 
 for, cer- 
 
 IH 
 
 1 time as 
 moral for 
 ot to dwell 
 Iberg but 
 gn-boards 
 tlie beer 
 ion of the 
 1 wooden 
 le cellar. 
 Perkeo, 
 le name, 
 ss sound, 
 
 «r 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 297 
 
 but nothing could be more binding in Heidelberg. 
 Momma thought his example a very unfortunate one for 
 a Universitv town, but the rest of us were inclined to 
 admire Perkeo as a self-made man and a success. As 
 Dicky protested he had made the fullest use of the ca- 
 pacities Xature had given him, it was evident from his 
 figure that he had even developed them, and what more 
 profitable course should the (lerman youth follow^ lie 
 was cheerful evervwhere — as the forerunner of the 
 comic paper one supposes lie had to be — but most im- 
 pressive in his effigy by his master's wine vat, in the 
 perpetual aroma that most ins])ired him, where, by a 
 mechanical arrangement inside him, he still makes a 
 joke of sorts, in somewhat graceless aspersion of the 
 methods of the professional humorists. Ennneline found 
 him very like her father, and confided her imprei^sion'to 
 ]\Irs. Malt. " But of course," she added condoningly, 
 " poppa was different when you married liim." 
 
 Perkeo was not so sentimental as the Trumpeter of 
 Sakkingen, and the Trumpeter of Sakkiiigen was not so 
 sentimental as the Heidelberg University student. The 
 Heidelberg University student was as a rule very round 
 and very young, and he seemed to give up the whole 
 of his spare time to imitating the passion which I hope 
 has not been permitted to enter too largely into this 
 book of travels. 
 
 Dicky and I agreed that it was a mere imitation; 
 that is, Dicky said it was and I agreed. It could not 
 possibly amount to anything more, for it consisted 
 
 1 
 
 ;;. 
 
I 
 
 il !!iili 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 in walking up and down in front of the lioiise 
 its object lived. AVe saw it being done, and 
 it looked so uninteresting that we failed to realise what 
 it meant until we inquired. Mrs. Portheris's nephew, 
 Mr. Jarvis Portlieris, who was acquiring German in 
 Heidelberg, told us about it. Mrs. Portheris's nephew 
 was just fourteen and small of his age, but he, too, had 
 selected the lady of his adnuration, and was taking regu- 
 lar daily pedestrian exercise in front of her residence. 
 He pointed out the residence, and obser\'ed with an 
 enormous frown that '' another man " had usurped the 
 pavement in his absence, and was doing it in quick step 
 doubtless to show his ardour. '' He's a beastlv German 
 too," said l[rs. Portheris's nephew, " so I can't chal- 
 lenge him, but I'll jolly well punch his head." 
 
 " Come on," said Dickv, " vou'd better steadv your 
 nerves," and treated him liberallv to c;inc;er-beer and 
 currant buns; but we were not allowed to see the en- 
 counter, which Mr. Jarvis Portlieris, gratefully satiate, 
 assured us must be conducted on strict lines of etiquette, 
 with formal preliminaries. He was so very young, and 
 obviously knew^ so little about wdiat he was doing, that 
 we questioned him with some delicacy, but we discovered 
 that the practice had no parallel, as Dicky put it, for 
 lack of incident. It was accompanied in some cases by 
 the w^riting of poetry, " German poetry, of course," said 
 Mrs. Portheris's nephew ineffably, but even that w^as 
 more likely to be exhibited as evidence of the writer's 
 fervid state of mind than to be sent to its object, who 
 
 I 
 

 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 299 
 
 of the lioiise 
 iig done, and 
 > realise wliat 
 ris's nei^liew, 
 : German in 
 ?ris's nephew 
 he, too, had 
 taking regu- 
 er residence, 
 ved witli an 
 usurped the 
 in quick step 
 stly German 
 [ can't chal- 
 ad." 
 
 steady your 
 er-beer and 
 see the en- 
 ully satiate, 
 etiquette, 
 roung, and 
 h)ing, that 
 liscoyered 
 put it, for 
 le cases by 
 nrse," said 
 that \yas 
 le writer's 
 bject, who 
 
 plaited her hair and attended to her domestic duties as 
 if nobody were in the street but the fishmonger. In 
 Mr. Jaryis Portheris's case he did not know the colour 
 of her eyes, or the number of her years; he had selected 
 her, it seemed, at a yenturc, in church, from a rear yiew, 
 sitting; and had neyer seen her since. Dicky, whoso 
 predilections of this sort haye always been very active, 
 asked him seriously why he adhered to such a hollow 
 mockery, and he said regretfully that a fellow more or 
 less had to; it was one of the beastly nuisancer of being 
 educated abroad. But from what we saw of the German 
 temperament generally we were convinced that as ji na- 
 tive demonstration it was sincere, and that its idiocy 
 arose only, as Dicky exi)ressed it, from the remarkable 
 lack»in foreigners of business capacity. 
 
 AVe all congratulated ourselves on seeing Heidelberg 
 ■while the University was in session, and we could ob- 
 serve the large fat students in flat blue and pink and 
 green club caps, swaggering about the town accompanied 
 by dogs of almost equal importance. The largest and 
 fattest, I thought, wore ^yhIte caps, and, though ]\Ir. 
 Jarvis Porthcris said that white was the most aristocratic 
 club's colour, they looked remarkably like bakers. The 
 Senator had an object in Heidelberg, as he had in so 
 many places, and that object was to investigate the prac- 
 tice of duelling, which everybody understands to prevail 
 to a deadly extent among the students. It was plain 
 from their appearance that personal assault at all events 
 
 was regrettably common, for nearly everyone of them 
 20 
 
!* 
 
 
 Hill 
 
 iiiililillil! I 
 
 1 1| 
 
 300 
 
 A VOYxVGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 wore traces of it in their faces, wore them as if they were 
 particularly becoming. Every variety of scar that could 
 well be imagined was represented, some healed, some 
 healing, and some freshly gory. The youth with the 
 most scars, we observed, gave himself the most airs, and 
 the really vainglorious were, more or less, obscured in 
 cotton-wool, evidently just from the hands of the sur- 
 geon. The Senator examined them individually as they 
 passed, with an inquisitiveness which the\' plainly en- 
 joyed, and was much impressed with their fighting quali- 
 ties as a race, until Mr. Jarvis Portheris happened to 
 explain that the scars were very carefully given and re- 
 ceived with an almost exclusive view to personal adorn- 
 ment. Mr. Mafferton apjDcared to have known this be- 
 fore; but that was an irritating way he had — none of 
 the rest of us did. The Senator regarded the next vouth 
 he met, who had elongated his mouth to run up into his 
 ear without adding in the least to his charms of appear- 
 ance, with barely disguised contempt, and when Mr. 
 Jarvis Portheris proceeded to explain how the doctors 
 pulled open the cuts if they promised to heal without 
 leaving any sign of valour, poppa's impatience with the 
 noble army of duellists grew so great that he could 
 hardly remain in Heidelberg till the train was ready to 
 take him a way. 
 
 " But don't they ever by accident do themselves any 
 harm?" inquired my disappointed parent. 
 
 " There's one case on record," said Mr. Jands Por- 
 theris, " and everybody here says it's true. One fellow 
 
 that! 
 was 
 slicel 
 —I 
 low', 
 genel 
 be aJ 
 but \\ 
 The:> 
 l| 
 mistal 
 reconi 
 Heidc 
 
i if they were 
 ;ar that could 
 healed, some 
 Lith with the 
 iiost airs, and 
 obscured in 
 s of the sur- 
 ually as they 
 .' plainly en- 
 ghting quali- 
 liap})encd to 
 !,iven and re- 
 ason al adorn- 
 own this be- 
 ad — none of 
 e next vouth 
 1 up into his 
 IS of appear- 
 when Mr. 
 the doctors 
 eal without 
 ce with the 
 t he could 
 as ready to 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 301 
 
 that was fighting- hapi)enod to have a dog, and the dog 
 was allowed in. Well, the other fellow, by accident, 
 sliced off the end of the fellow that had the dog's nose 
 — I don't mean the dog's nose, you know, but the fel- 
 low's. That was going a bit far, you know; they don't 
 generally go so far. Well, the doctor said that would 
 be all right, they could easily make it grow on again; 
 but when they looked for the nose — Uie dog had eaten it! 
 They never allow dogs in now." 
 
 It was a simple little story, and it bore marks of un- 
 mistakable age and many aliases, but it did much to 
 reconcile the Senator to the University student of 
 Heidelberg, and especially to his dog. 
 
 I 
 
 iselvcs any 
 
 rarvis Por- 
 >ne fellow 
 
'■^»pf"^»"w^ 
 
 'l I 
 
 iipii 'III 
 
 CnAPTER XXVI. 
 
 Emmeline had childlike lapses; she rejoiced greatly, 
 for instance, at seeing a Strasbourg stork. She con- 
 fessed, when she saw it, to having read Hans Andersen 
 when she was a little girl, and was happy in the resem- 
 blance of the tall chimneys he stood on, and the Iiigli- 
 pitched red roofs he surveyed, to the pictures she remem- 
 bered. But, for that matter, so were we all. We had 
 an hour and a half at Strasbourg, and we drove, of 
 course, to the Cathedral; but it was the stork that we 
 saw, and that each of us privately considered the really 
 valuable impression. He stood beside his nest with his 
 chin sunk in his neck, looking immensely lucky and 
 wise, and one quite agreed with Emmeline that it must 
 be lovely to live under him. 
 
 We lunched at the station, and, as the meal pro- 
 gressed, saw again how widespread and sincere is the 
 German sentiment to which I alluded, perhaps too light- 
 ly, in the last chapter. Our waitresses were all that 
 could be desired, until there came between us and them 
 a youth from parts without. He was sallow, and the 
 waitresses were buxom; he might have been a student 
 
 of law or medicine, they were naturally of much lower 
 
 SOS 
 
 dej 
 
 sidl 
 
 rad| 
 
 be( 
 
 othl 
 
 un( 
 
 lool 
 
 futi 
 
 ii 
 
: 
 
 "^^^^^r^BOw 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 303 
 
 joiced greatly, 
 'k. She c'oii- 
 iins Andersen 
 in the resem- 
 and the high- 
 es she remem- 
 all. We had 
 we drove, of 
 ^itork that we 
 ed the really 
 nest with his 
 Y lucky and 
 that it must 
 
 e meal pro- 
 ncere is the 
 ps too light- 
 ere all that 
 IS and them 
 )w, and the 
 Q a student 
 nuch lower 
 
 degree. But they frankly forsook us and sat down be- 
 side him in terms of devotion and an open aspect of 
 radiant hapinness. When one went to draw his lager 
 beer he put an unrepelled arm round the waist of the 
 other, and when the first came back he chucked her 
 under the chin with undisguised affection, the while wo 
 looked on and starved, none knowing the language ex- 
 cept Isabel, who thought of nothing but blushing. As 
 Mr. Malt said, if the young man could only have mado 
 up his mind, we might have been able to get along with 
 the rejected one; but, apparently, he was not in the least 
 embarrassed by numbers, sending a large and beguiling 
 smile to yet a further hand-maiden, who passed envi- 
 ously through the speise-salle with a basin of soup. It 
 was only when Dicky stalked across to the old woman 
 who sold sausages and biscuits behind a counter, and 
 pointed indignantly to the person who held all the avail- 
 able table service of the Strasbourg railway station on his 
 knees, that we obtained redress. The old woman laughed 
 as if it were amusing, and called the maidens shrilly; 
 but even then they came with reluctance, as if we had 
 been mere schnapps instead of ten complete luncheons, 
 one soup, and a bread and cheese, as Dicky said. The 
 bread and cheese was the Count, and one gathered from 
 it that the improvement in his immediate prospects was 
 not yet assured, that the arrangimento was still in 
 futuro. 
 
 We had become such a large party, that it is impos- 
 sible to relate the whole of our experiences even in the 
 
 I 
 
I .;1m 
 
 304: 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 i 
 
 half hour durinj^ whlcli we dawdlccl round the Stras- 
 bourg waiting-room until the train should start. I know 
 it was then, for instance, that Mrs. Portheris took Dieky 
 aside and told him how deeply she sympathised with him 
 in his trying position, juid bade him only be faithful to 
 the dictates of his own heart and all would come right 
 in time. I know Dicky promised faithfully to do so, but 
 I must not dwell upon it. Nor is the opportunity ade- 
 quate to express the indignation we all felt, and not 
 Mr. MafFerton merely, at the insulHcient personal im- 
 pression we made upon the German railway officials. 
 They were so completely preoccupied with their magnifi- 
 cent selves and their vast business that, they were un- 
 able even to look at us when we asked them questions, 
 and their sole conception of a reply was an order, in 
 terms that sounded brutal to a degree. They were ob- 
 jectionably burly and red in the face; they wore an 
 offensive number of buttons and straps upon their uni- 
 forms. As My. Mafferton said, they utterly miscon- 
 ceived their position in life, attempting to Kaiser the 
 travelling public by Divine right instead of recognising 
 themselves as humble servants, buttoned only to l3e made 
 more agreeable to the eye. 
 
 One such person trampled upon us to such an extent 
 that I have never been able to satisfy myself that the 
 Senator was sincere in making his little mistake. We 
 were sitting in dejected rows, with a number of other 
 foreigners wdio had been similarly reduced, when this 
 official entered the waiting-room, advanced to the mid- 
 
N. 
 
 A VOYAGE OF COXSOLATION. 
 
 305 
 
 unci the Stras- 
 
 start. I know 
 .'lis took JJic'ky 
 liisc'd with liim 
 
 be faithful to 
 lid come right 
 y to do so, but 
 portunity ade- 
 
 felt, and not 
 : personal im- 
 Iway officials, 
 their magnifi- 
 hey were un- 
 em questions, 
 
 an order, in 
 hey were ob- 
 licy wore an 
 on their uni- 
 erly miscon- 
 Kaiser the 
 recognising 
 to Le made 
 
 !h an extent 
 If that the 
 
 stake. We 
 
 er of other 
 when this 
 
 the mid- 
 
 dle of it, posed with groat majesty, and emitted several 
 bars of a kind of chant or chime. It was delivered with 
 too much vigour, and it stopped too al)rui)tly, to be en- 
 tirely enjoyable; but there was no doubt about the 
 musical intention. It was not even intoning; it was 
 singing, beginning with moderation, going ou stronger 
 with indignation, and ending suddenly in a crescendo 
 of denunciation. 
 
 AVe smiled in difficult self-restraint as he went away, 
 and Dicky renuirked that he sui)po8ed we were in their 
 hands, we couldn't object to anything they did to us. 
 In live minutes he came back to exactly the same spot 
 and sang again the same words, in the same key, with 
 the same unction. "Encore!" exclaimed ]\Ir. ^lalt 
 boldlv, but cowered under the glare that was turned 
 upon him, and utterly fell away when we reminded him 
 of the punishments attached in Germany to the charge 
 of lese majesie. Precisely five minutes more passed away, 
 and Bawlinbuttons, as j\[iss Callis called him, entered 
 again. Then occurred the Senator's little mistake. In 
 the midst of the second bar, the indignant one, Bawlin- 
 buttons stop})ed short, petrified by poppa, who had ad- 
 vanced and was holding out copper coins whose useful- 
 ness we had left behind us, to the value of about fifteen 
 cents. 
 
 " Here's the collection," said poppa benevolently — 
 for an instant or two he was quite audible — " but unless 
 you know some other tune the company wish me to say 
 that they won't trouble you any further:" 
 
hii'i 
 
 III 
 
 30" A roTAGE OF CO.VSOMTIO,.. 
 
 natural enougl, t],af no^^ , " '"'''"'=' '"'d i* waa 
 
 ^««r should never be misUkol "^''' "'^* « 
 
 ""reJy because his t.sto/! "" °'-g«n-gri,uIer, 
 
 ^"f. that the various t;:;:;:"^-'- ^^^-''W is it' 
 wfonnation will ever und2 '"" '™"»S ^" "'o 
 
 inent that the ;r.i„ fo t"f' "^ "•''>■ "'« a.mo„„ee- 
 -d Mayenee wouW leave r;"""', '''""''' ^""^ort, 
 --' .■ou.pleted for t J ^JT. ^ ^"»* "--'. -s 
 regulation. B„t we have Ift "'' """'"^'"S *« the 
 Bawh,,b.utons did with the ;;r^^^^^ siuee what 
 ^^^e divided un on fhn 
 
 ^- Malt ea.e il tl ir '! ''''"""^' ""'' ^^^^ -<1 
 -on^a, and n,e. Mr AI T' ''"* "'* "'« ^--tor, 
 '•-enge on Bawlinbut'tc^t IL" """""^'"'' "*'' 1-PPa's 
 -vl^ward further for Z^'^rT '". "'''' *'""«^ 
 done very simplv, by . d,t! ''"■ '* <^°"W bo 
 
 -d the Senatrr'a's t'o ll ZT" • 'f"'""" '^^^ 
 open or shut. He said he ]Jl , ?*"^' ^''""'d l-o 
 P;t to the «ost enjoyable X^' st' T^" '"''' 
 Inowing the language of tl,„ T- '^ " ''"^^"te, not 
 
 '» -Wtrate n,.: tC ^ 1 J''"'?'^ -■"'' "^""^'fo-d 
 i«d 'a..gbed at the S natTrl • T "■""*• '^^- ^"'t 
 --0, had to assist a T^ ?' V'^ «-»'-> of 
 work themselves up, as mI Tu' '"'' ^"^ ^^S"" to 
 
 "^^t. ^r. Malt wSt:i::;^,t::f;"r'"o spirit 
 
 tuar tlie windows should 
 
never rectified, 
 lie platform as 
 311S, and it was 
 comprehend 
 effect that a 
 organ-grinc!er, 
 Neither is it 
 waiting for the 
 he annoimce- 
 y, Frankfort, 
 precisely was 
 >rding to the 
 d since what 
 
 and Mr. and 
 
 the Senator, 
 
 with poppa's 
 
 make things 
 
 it could be 
 
 ?on Iiimself 
 
 5 slioiild be 
 
 •man guard 
 
 ispute, not 
 
 ing forced 
 
 ^fr. Malt 
 
 ienator, of 
 
 began to 
 
 the spirit 
 
 s should 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 307 
 
 be shut, he said he had got a trifling cold, and the Sena- 
 tor V ^s to require them open in the interests of ventila- 
 tion. They rehearsed their arguments, and momma 
 putting her head out of the window at the first small 
 station cried, " Be quick and change your exi^ressiona 
 — he's coming! " 
 
 In the i)resence of the guard Mr. Malt rose with dig- 
 nity and closed the windows. The Senator, with a well- 
 simulated scowl, at once opened them both. 
 
 ^' Stranger! " said Mr. Malt, while momma fumbled 
 for her ticket, " I shut those windows." 
 
 " Sir," responded poppa, '^ if you had not done so I 
 shouldn't have been obliged to open them." 
 
 " I can't die of pneumonia, sir," said Mr. Malt, again 
 closing the window, " to oblige 7/o/<." 
 
 " Xor do I feel compelled," returned the Senator 
 furiously, " to asphyxiate my family to make it com- 
 fortable for you! " and the window fell with a bang. 
 
 The guard, holding out a massive hand for my ticket, 
 took no notice whatever. 
 
 " Put it up again," said Mrs. Malt, who was more 
 anxious than any of us to avenge herself upon the Ger- 
 man railway system, " and try to break the glass." 
 
 " Attract his attention, Alexander," said momma. 
 " Pull one of his silly buttons off." 
 
 The guard gave no sign — he was replacing the elas- 
 tic round my book of coupons after detaching the 
 green one -^^ which was printed, " Strasburg nach 
 Mainz." 
 
303 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Poppa and Mr. Malt were sitting opposite each other 
 in the middle of the carriage. 
 
 " I tell you I've got bronchial trouble, and I won't 
 be manslaughtered," cried Mr. Malt, hurling himself 
 upon the strap, while poppa seized the guard by the arm 
 and pointed to the closed window. The only foreign 
 language with which poppa is acquainted is that used 
 by the Indians on the banks of the Saguenay river, a few 
 words of which he acquired while salmon hsliing there 
 two years ago. These he poured forth upon the guard 
 — they were the only ones that occurred to him, he said 
 — at the same time threatening with his disengaged fist 
 bodily assault upon Mr. Malt. 
 
 " That ought to draw him," said Mrs. Malt. 
 
 It did draw him. 
 
 " Leave go! " he said to poppa, and his air of au- 
 thority was such that poppa left go. " Is this here a 
 lunatic party, or a young menagerie, or wdiat? Now 
 look here," he continued, taking Mr. Malt by the elbow 
 and seating him with some violence in a corner seat and 
 slratting the window. " If you've got eight tickets for 
 \ ourself say so, if you haven't that's as much an' more 
 
 than you are entitled to. The other gentleman " 
 
 But the Senator had already collapsed into the furthest 
 corner and was looking fixedly through the closed glass. 
 *' Well, all I've got to say is," he went on, lowering that 
 window with decision, " that you can't go kickin' up 
 rows in this country same as you do at home, an* if 
 you can't get along more satisfactory together I'll " 
 
)N. 
 
 osite each other 
 
 le, and I won't 
 lurling himself 
 lard by the arm 
 LO only foreign 
 sd is that used 
 lay river, a few 
 n fishing there 
 ijion the guard 
 to him, he said 
 disengaged fist 
 
 rs. ]\ialt. 
 
 his air of au- 
 Is this here a 
 what ? ^ow 
 by the elbow 
 orner seat and 
 ht tickets for 
 uch an' more 
 
 itleman " 
 
 ) the furthest 
 closed glass, 
 owering that 
 lo kickin' up 
 pome, an' 
 ler I'll— 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 309 
 
 if 
 
 here something interrupted him, requiring to be trans- 
 ferred from the Senator's hand to the nearest convenient 
 pocket. "As I was goin' to say, gentlemen, there isn't 
 any what you might call strict rule about the windows, 
 an' as far as I'm concerned, you can settle it for your- 
 selves." 
 
 Whereupon he swung along to the next carriage, the 
 train having started, and left us to reflect on the incon- 
 gruity of an English railway guard in Germany. 
 
 It was curious, but the incident left behind it a 
 certain coolness, so well defined that v/hcn monmia sug- 
 gested that the Malts' window should be lowered as it 
 was before to give us a current of air, Mrs. Malt said 
 she thought it would be better to abide by the decision 
 of the guard, now that we had referred it to him, and 
 momma said, " Oh dear me, yes," if she preferred to do 
 so, and everybody established the most aggressively pri- 
 vate relations with books and newspapers. It was quite 
 a relief when Mrs. Portheris came at the next station 
 to inquire whether, if we had no married Germans in 
 our compartment, we could possibly make room for 
 Isabel. ^Irs. Portheris had married Germans in her 
 compartment, two pairs of them, and she could no longer 
 permit her daughter to observe their behaviour. '' Tliey 
 obtrude their domestic relations," said Mrs. Portheris, 
 " in the most disgusting way. They are continually 
 patting each other. Quite middle-aged, too! And call- 
 ing each other ' Leibchen,' and other things which may 
 be worse. My poor Isabel is dreadfully embarrassed, 
 
■I 
 
 \i 
 
 ii. 
 
 liH 
 
 310 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 for, of course, she can't always look out of the window. 
 And as she understands the language, I can't possibly 
 tell what she may overhear! " 
 
 AVe made room for Isabel, but the train to Mayence 
 Avas crowded that day, and before we arrived we had 
 ample reason to believe that conjugal affection is not 
 only at home but abroad in Germany. The Senator, at 
 one point, threatened to travel on the engine to avoid it. 
 lie used, I think the language of exaggeration about it. 
 He said it was the most objectionable article made in 
 Germany. But I did not notice that Isabel devoted her- 
 self at all seriously to looking out of the window. 
 
 Ill 
 
 i 
 
)N. 
 
 of the window. 
 [ can't iDossibly 
 
 nin to ^layence 
 irrivcd we had 
 iffection is not 
 -lie Senator, at 
 ine to avoid it. 
 ■ation about it. 
 rticle made in 
 3I devoted her- 
 window. 
 
 CHAPTEK XXVII. 
 
 '' He tells me," said Miss Callis, " that you are to 
 give him his answer at Cologne." 
 
 " Does he, indeed? " said I. We were floating down 
 the Rhine in the society of our friends, two hundred 
 and fifty other floaters, and a string band. We had left 
 the battlements of Bingen, and the Mouse Tower was in 
 sight. As we had already acquired the legend, and were 
 sitting behind the smoke stack, there was no reason why 
 we should not discuss Mr. Mafferton. 
 
 " I suppose he does not, by any chance, mention an 
 alternative lady," I said carelessly. 
 
 " I don't know," said Miss Callis, " that I should be 
 disposed to" listen to him if he did. He would have to 
 put it in some other light." 
 
 " Why should you object ? " I asked. " Isabel is 
 quite a proper person to marry him. Much more so, I 
 often think, than I." 
 
 " Oh ! " said Miss Callis without meaning to. " I 
 think he has outgrown that taste. In fact, he told me 
 
 so. 
 
 » 
 
 " He is for ever seeking a fresh bosom for a confi- 
 dence! " I cried. 
 
 311 
 
' ^iillJhKlll 
 
 '! ! I'..," I. .1 
 
 iiiii 
 
 812 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 Miss Callis looked at me with more interest than she 
 would have wished to express. 
 
 "What do you really think of him?" she asked. 
 " I sometimes feel as if I had known you for years," and 
 she took my hand. 
 
 •I gave hers a gentle pressure, and edged a little 
 nearer. " He has good shoulders," I remarked critic- 
 ally. 
 
 " You would hardly marry him for his sJiouIders! " 
 
 " It doesn't seem quite enough," I admitted, " but 
 then — his information is always so accurate." 
 
 " If you think you would like living with an en- 
 cyclopedia." Miss Callis had begun to look embarrassed 
 by my hand, but I still permitted it to nestle confidingly 
 in hers. 
 
 " lie pronounces all his g's," I said, " and — did you 
 ever see him in a silk hat? " 
 
 " I don't think you are really attached to him, dear." 
 (The " dear " was a really creditable sacrifice to the 
 situation.) 
 
 " I sometimes think," I murmured, " that one never 
 knows one's own heart until some sudden circumstance 
 puts it to the test. 'Now if I had a rival — in you, for 
 instance — and I suddenly saw myself losing — but, of 
 course, that is impossible so far as you are concerned. 
 Because of the Count." 
 
 " The Count isn't in it," said Miss Callis firmly. 
 " At least at present." 
 
 "But," I protested, "somebody must provide for 
 
 si 
 
 him! 
 dertal 
 M 
 she \\\ 
 
 a 
 
 make ' 
 the rij 
 Malt, 
 niissesi 
 upon 
 
 air of 
 " that 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 313 
 
 him! I was so liappy in the thought that you had un- 
 dertaken it." 
 
 Miss Callis gave me back my hand. She looked as if 
 she would have liked to throw it overboard. 
 
 ^' As you say," she said, " it is a little difficult to 
 make up one's mind. Don't you think those rocks to 
 the right may be the Lorelei^ I must go and tell Mrs. 
 Malt. She won't be fit to travel with for a week if she 
 misses the Lorelei." And Miss Callis left me to reflect 
 upon the inconsistencies of my sex. 
 
 *' Do you realise," said Dicky, as, T\^th an assumed 
 air of nonchalance, he sauntered up and took her chair, 
 "that we shall be in Cologne in five hours?" 
 
 " Fateful Cologne," I said. " There are Roman 
 remains, I believe, as well as the Cathedral and the 
 scent. Also a Museum of Industrial Art, but we'll skip 
 that." 
 
 " We'll skip all of it," replied Mr. Dod, with deter- 
 mination, " you and I and Isabel. The train for Paris 
 leaves at nine precisely." 
 
 " Haven't you made up your minds to let me off,'* 
 I pleaded. " I am sure you would be happier alone. 
 It's so unusual to elope with two ladies." 
 
 " You don't seem to realise how Isabel has been 
 brought up," Dicky returned patiently. " She can't 
 travel alone with me, don't you see, until we are married. 
 Afterwards she'll chaperone you back to your party 
 again. So it will be all right for you, don't you see?" 
 
 I was obliged to say I saw, and we arranged the de- 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 tails. "VVe would reach Cologne about six, and Isabel 
 and I, who would share a room as usual, were secretly 
 to i)ack one bag between us, which Dicky would smuggle 
 out of the hotel and send to the station. Isabel was to 
 be fatigued and dine in her room; I was to leave the 
 table dlwte early to solace her, Dicky was to dine at a 
 cafe and meet us at the station. AVe would put out the 
 lights and lock the door of the apartment on our de- 
 parture, and the chambermaid with hot water in the 
 morning would be the first to discover our flight. We 
 only regretted that we could not be there to see the 
 astonishment of the chambermaid. " I won't fail you," 
 I assured Mr. Dod, " but what about Isabel ? Isabel is 
 essential; in fact, I won't consent to this elopement 
 without her." 
 
 " Isabel," said Dicky dubiously, " is all right, so 
 far as her intentions go. But she'd be the better for a 
 little stiffening. Would you mind " 
 
 I groaned in spirit, but went in search of Isabel, 
 thinking of phrases that might stiffen her. I found her 
 looking undecided, with a pencil and a slip of paper. 
 
 " How lucky you are," I said diplomatically, sinking 
 into the nearest chair, " to be going to wind up your trip 
 on the Continent in such a delightful way. It will be 
 - — ah — something to remember all your life." 
 
 " Oh, I suppose so," said Isabel plaintively, " but 
 I should so much prefer to be done in church. If mam- 
 ma would only consent! " 
 
 " She never would," I declared, for I felt that I 
 
 nuu 
 at a I 
 
 pose I 
 
 serv(I 
 
 hil 
 
r. 
 
 Xy and Isabel 
 were secretly 
 k'oukl smuggle 
 Isabel was to 
 3 to leave the 
 s to dine at a 
 Id put out the 
 at on our de- 
 water in the 
 Lr flight. AVe 
 sre to see the 
 )n't fail you," 
 3el? Isabel is 
 [lis elopement 
 
 all right, so 
 better for a 
 
 eh of Isabel, 
 I found her 
 of paper. 
 2ally, sinking 
 up your trip 
 It will be 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 315 
 
 e. 
 
 » 
 
 tively, " but 
 h. If mam- 
 felt that I 
 
 must see Isabel Mrs. Dod within the next day or two 
 at all costs. 
 
 " A registry office sounds so uninteresting. I sup- 
 pose one just goes — as one is." 
 
 " I don't think veils and trains are worn," I ol)- 
 served, " except by i)ersuns of high rank wiio do not ap- 
 prove of the marriage service. I dont know what the 
 Marcpiis of Queensberry might do, or Mr. (Jrant Allen." 
 
 " Of course, the ceremony doesn't matter to thcm,^' 
 replied Isabel intelligently, "'' because they would just 
 wear morning dress anyiclicre.^^ 
 
 " Looking at it that way, they haven't nmcli to lose," 
 I conceded. 
 
 " And no wedding cake," grieved Isabel, " and no 
 reception at the house of the bride's mother. And you 
 can't have your picture in the Queen.'^ 
 
 " There would be a difficulty," I said, " about the 
 descriptive part." 
 
 " And no favours for the coachman, and no trous- 
 
 seau— 
 
 " I wonder," I said, " whether, under those circum- 
 stances, it's really worth while." 
 
 "Oh, well!" said Isabel 
 
 " It's a night to Paris, and a morning to Dover," I 
 
 said. " We will wait for the others at Dover — I fancy 
 
 they'll hurry — that'll be another day. I'll take one 
 
 rohe de nuit, Isabel, three pocket handkerchiefs, one '' 
 
 brush and comb, and tooth brush. You shall have all 
 
 the rest of the bag." 
 21 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 *' You arc a port'cct love," exclaimed Miss Portlicris, 
 with tlie most toiicliing <!,ratitii(le. 
 
 '' We will share the soap," I continued, '' until jou 
 arc married. Afterwards " 
 
 " Oh, vou can have it then," said Isabel, " of course," 
 and she looked at the Castle of llheinfels and blushed 
 beautifully. 
 
1 Miss Portlioria, 
 
 lied, " until you 
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII. 
 
 " There was only one thing that disappointed mo,'' 
 Mrs. Malt was saying at the dinner table of the Cologne 
 hotel, " and that wasn't so nuieh what voii would call 
 a disappointment as a surprise. White windows-blinds 
 in a robber castle on the Ilhine I did not expect to see." 
 
 I slipped away before momma had time to announce 
 and explain her disappointments, but I heard her begin. 
 Then I felt safe, for criticism of the Rhine is absorb- 
 ing matter for coversation. The steamer's custom of 
 giving one stewed plums with chicken is an affront to 
 civilisation to last a good twenty minutes by myself. 
 I tried to occupy and calm Isabel's mind with it as we 
 walked over to the station, under the twin towers of the 
 Cathedral, but with indifferent success. To add to her 
 agitation at this crisis of her life, the top button came 
 off her glove, and when that happened I felt the inutil- 
 ity of w^ords. 
 
 AVe passed the policemen on the Cathedral square 
 with affected indifference. We believed we were not 
 liable to arrest, but policemen, when one is eloping, have 
 a forbidding look. We refrained, by mutual arrange- 
 ment, from turning once to look back for possible pur- 
 
 317 
 
318 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 sucrs, but tlmt is not a tiling I would undertake to do 
 again under similar eireunistaneeH. We 'Ven had the 
 liardiliood to huv a hox of ehocohites on the wav, that 
 is, Isabel bougiit theni, while 1 watched current events 
 at the confectioner's door. The station was really only 
 about seven minutes' walk from the hotel, but it seenu'd 
 an hour before 1 was able to point out Dicky, alert and 
 expectant, on the edge of the platform behind the line 
 of cabs. 
 
 " 8o near the fultilnient of his hopes, poor fellow," 
 I rcnuirked. 
 
 " Yes," concurred Isabel, " but do you know I al- 
 most wish Ire wasn't coming." 
 
 " Don't tell him so, whatever you do," I exclaimed. 
 " I know Dicky's sensitive nature, and it is just as likely 
 as not that he would take you at your word. And I 
 will not elope with you alone." 
 
 I need not have been alarmed. Isabel had no in- 
 tention of reducing the party at the last moment. I 
 listened for protests and hesitations when they met, but 
 all I heard was, "Hare you got the bag? " 
 
 Dicky had the bag, the tickets, the places, every- 
 thing. He had already assumed, though only a husband 
 of to-morrow, the imperative and responsible connection 
 ■with Isabel's arrangements. He told her she was to sleep 
 with her head toward the engine, that she was to drink 
 nothing but soda-water at any of the stations, and that 
 she must not, on any account, leave the carriage when 
 we changed for Paris until he came for her. It would 
 
XV. 
 
 A VOYAGE JF CONSOLATION. 
 
 all) 
 
 nulortako to do 
 ^' '^^'011 liud tlio 
 1 tli(> way, that 
 current events 
 Nvas really only 
 J Jjiit it seemed 
 'it'ky, alert and 
 )oliind the lino 
 
 , poor fellow," 
 
 oil know I al- 
 
 ' I exclaimed. 
 5 just as likely 
 ^'ord. And I 
 
 I had no in- 
 
 niomeut. I 
 
 Iicy met, but 
 
 laces, every- 
 y a husband 
 3 connection 
 was to sleep 
 ras to drink 
 s, and that 
 riage when 
 It would 
 
 1)0 my business to see that these instructions were car- 
 ried out. 
 
 '' Wliat shall J do," 1 asked, " if she cries in the 
 night r' 
 
 13ut Dicky was sweeping us toward the waiting-room, 
 and did not liear me. lie {)laced us carefully in the scats 
 nearest the main door, which ojx'ued upon the (lcj)arture 
 l)latform, full of people hurrying to and fro, and of 
 the more leisurely movement of shunting trains. The 
 lamps were lighted, though twilight still hung about; 
 the scene was pleasantly exciting. I said to Isabel that 
 I never thought I should enjoy an elopement so much. 
 
 "/ shall enjoy settling down," she replied thought- 
 fullv. " Dicky has promised me that all the china shall 
 be hand-painted." 
 
 " You won't mind my leaving you for five seconds," 
 said Mr. Dod, suddenly exploring his breast-pocket; 
 " the train doesn't leave for a quarter of an hour yet, and 
 I find I haven't a smoke about me," and he opened the 
 door. 
 
 " Xot more that five seconds then," I said, for noth- 
 ing is more trying to the nerves than to wait for a train 
 which is due in a few minutes and a man who is buvincr 
 cigars at the same time. 
 
 Dicky left the door open, and tliat was how T heard 
 a strangely familiar voice, with an inflexion of enforced 
 calm and repression, suddenly address him from be- 
 hind it. 
 
 ^^Good evening, Dod!^' 
 
' ! 
 
 01!lilll!:i 
 
 320 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 I (lid not shriek, or even grasp Isabel's hand. I 
 simply got up and stood a little nearer the door. But 
 I have known few moments so electrical. 
 
 " My dear chap, how are you? " exclaimed Dicky. 
 "How arc you? Staying in Cologne? I'm just off to 
 Paris." 
 
 I thought I heard a heavy sigh, but it was somewhat 
 lost in the trundling of the porters' trucks. 
 
 '^ Then," said Arthur Page, for I had not been de- 
 ceived, " it is as I supposed." 
 
 " AVhat did you suppose, old chap? " asked Dicky in 
 a joyous and expansive tone. 
 
 " You do not go alone? " 
 
 The bitterness of this was not a thing that could be 
 communicated to paper and ink. 
 
 '' Why, no," said Dicky, '' the fact is " 
 
 I saw the wave — it was cliaracteristic — with which 
 'Mr. Page stopped him. '' I have been made acquainted 
 with tlic facts," he said. " Do not dwell u])on them. 
 I do not, cannot, blame you, if you have really won her 
 heart." 
 
 " So far as I know," said Dicky, with some hauteur, 
 " there's nothing in it to give yon the liump." 
 
 "Why waste time in idle words?" replied Arthur. 
 " You will lose your train. I could never forgive myself 
 if I were the cause- of tliat." 
 
 " You won't be," said Dicky sententiously, looking 
 at his watch. 
 
 " But I must ask — must demand — the privilege of 
 
A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 321 
 
 .%ns somewhat 
 
 one parting word," said Arthur firndy. " Do not be 
 apprehensive of any painful scene. I desire only to wish 
 her every happiness, and to bid her farewell." 
 
 Mr. Dod, though on the eve of his wedding day, was 
 not wholly oblivious of the love affairs of other people. 
 I could see a new-born and overwhelming comprehension 
 of the situation in his face as he put his head in at the 
 door and beckoned to Isabel. Evidentlv he could not 
 trust himself to speak. 
 
 " Miss Portheris," he said, with magnificent self-con- 
 trol, " Mr. Page. ^Ir. Page would like to wish you 
 every happiness and to bid you farewell, Isabel, and I 
 don't see why he shouldn't. We have still five minutes." 
 
 There are limits to the propriety of all practical 
 jokes, and I walked out at once to assure Arthur that his 
 misunderstanding was (]uite natural, and somewhat less 
 excpiisitely humorous than Mr. Dod appeared to find it. 
 
 " I am merely eloping too," I said, '' in case any- 
 thing should happen to Isabel." Healisiiig that this was 
 also being misinterj)reted, I added, " She is not accus- 
 tomed to travelling alone." 
 
 AVe had shaken hands, and that always makes a 
 situation more normal, but there was still plainly an 
 enormous amount to clear up, and painfully little time 
 to do it in, thoujjrh Dickv with creat consid(^ration im- 
 mediately put Isabel into the carriage and follow( d her 
 to its remotest corner, leaving me standing at the door, 
 and Arthur holding it open. The second bell rang as 
 I learned from ^[r. Page that the Pattersons had gone 
 
I I 
 
 322 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 to Newport this siimmor, and that it was extremely hot 
 in Xcw York when he left. As the guard eanie along 
 the i)latforni shutting up tlie doors of the train, Arthur's 
 agitation increased, and 1 saw that his customary suffer- 
 ing in connection with me, was quite as great as any- 
 body couhl desire. The guard had skipi)ed our carriage, 
 ])ut it was already vibrating in dei)artiire — creaking 
 — moving. 1 looked at Arthur in a manner — I con- 
 fess it — which annihilated our two months of separa- 
 tion. 
 
 " Then since you're not going to marry Dod," he 
 incpiired breathlessly, walking along with the train — 
 " I've heard vari<.)us reports — whom, may I ask, are 
 you going to marry (* " 
 
 '* AVhy, nobody," I said, " unless " 
 
 " AVell, I should think so! " ejaculated Arthur, and 
 in spite of the frightful German language used by the 
 guard, he jumped into the carriage. 
 
 lie has maintained ever since that he was obliired 
 to do it in order to exj)lain his presence on the platform, 
 which was, of course, carrying the matter to its logical 
 conclusion. It seemed that the Senator had advi^cu him 
 to come over and meet ns accidentally in Venice, where 
 he had intimated that reunion would be oidy a question 
 of privacy and a full moon. On his arrival at Venice — 
 it was liis gondola that we shared — the Senator had dis- 
 couraged him for the moment, and had since constantly 
 telegraphed him that the opportune moment had not yet 
 arrived. Finally poppa had written to say that, though 
 
 ' 
 
extremely hot 
 ird ciiiue along 
 train, Arthur's 
 stoniary suH'er- 
 5 great as any- 
 d our carriage, 
 ture — creaking 
 tanner — I eon- 
 iths of separa- 
 
 !U*rv Dod," he 
 [\i the train — 
 ay I ask, are 
 
 ?) 
 
 d 
 
 :e 
 
 Arthur, and 
 used bv the 
 
 was obliged 
 the phitform, 
 to its logical 
 1 advi^cQ him 
 Vnice, where 
 ly a question 
 
 at Venice — 
 tiator had dis- 
 co constantly 
 t had not yet 
 that, though 
 
 Whom ii/t- ymi tjoiiij^ Id many ? 
 
 I 
 
I 
 
If VI I 
 
 A VOYAGE OF CONSOLATION. 
 
 323 
 
 he grieved to aiinoiiiice that I was engaged to Dicky, 
 and he could not guarantee any disengagement, he was 
 still operating to that end. This, however, i^recipitated 
 Mr. Page to Cologne, where observation of our move- 
 ments at a distance brought him to the wrong conclu- 
 sion, but fortunately to the right platform. As Isabel 
 remarked, if such "^hings were put in books nobody would 
 believe them. 
 
 It seemed (juite unreasonable and absurd when we 
 talked it over that Arthur and I should travel from 
 Cologne to Dover merely to witness the nuptials of Dicky 
 and Isabel. As Dicky pointed out, moreover, our moral 
 support when it came to the interview with Mrs. Por- 
 tlieris would be much more valuable if it were united. 
 There would be the registrar — one registrar would do — 
 and there would be the opportunity of making it a square 
 party. These were Dicky's arguments; Arthur's were 
 more personal but ecpially convincing, and I must admit 
 that I thought a good deal of the dii)lomatic anticipation 
 of that magnificent wedding which was to illustrate and 
 adorn the survival of the methods of the Doge of Venice 
 in the family of a Senator of Chicago. And thus it was 
 that we were all married sociablv together in Dover 
 the following morning, despatching a telegram imme- 
 diately afterAvards to the Senator at the Cologne hotel 
 as follows: 
 
 " We have eloped. 
 
 " (Signed) R. and I. Don. 
 
 '' A. and :M. Page." 
 
i: h 
 
 I I 
 
 324 
 
 A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 Later on in the day we added details, tu show that 
 we bore no niaHce, and announeed that we were pre- 
 ])ared to await the arrival of the rest of the party for 
 any length of time at Dover. 
 
 AVe even went down to the station to meet them, 
 where recriminations and congratulations were so min- 
 gled that it was impossible, for some time, to tell whether 
 we were most blessed or banned. Even in the confusion 
 of the moment, however, I noticed that Mr. MaflFerton 
 made Miss Callis's baggage his special care, and saw 
 clearly in the cordiality of her sentiments toward me, 
 and the firmness of her manner in ordering him about, 
 that the future peer had reached his last alternative. 
 
 I rejoice to add that the day also showed that even 
 Count Filgiatti had fallen, in the general ordering of 
 fates, upon happiness with honour. I noticed that Em- 
 meliue vigorously protected him from the Customs 
 officer who wished to confiscate his cigarettes, and I 
 mentioned her air of proprietorship to her father. 
 
 '' Wliv, ves," said ^[r. Afalt, " he offered himself as 
 a count vou see, and Emmeline seemed to think she'd 
 like to have one, so I closed with him. There isn't any- 
 think likely to come of it for three or four years, but he's 
 willing to wait, and she's got to grow\" 
 
 I expressed my felicitations, and Mr. Malt added 
 somewhat regretfully that it would have been better if 
 he'd had more in his clothes, but that was what you had 
 to expect with counts; -is a rule they didn't seem to 
 have what you might call any money use for pockets. 
 
 •t 
 
A VOYAGE OP CONSOLATION. 
 
 325 
 
 In the mcantiino tlioy were taking him home to edu- 
 cate him in the duties of American citizenship. Emme- 
 line put it to me briefly, " I'm not any Daisy Miller," 
 she said, "■ and I prefer to live out of Home." 
 
 Once a year the present Lady Maiferton invites Mrs. 
 Portheris to tea, and I know they discuss my theory of 
 engagements in a critical spirit. AVe have never seen 
 either Miss Xancy or Miss Cora Bingham again, and 
 I should have forgotten the names of Mr. Pabbley and 
 Mr. Ilinkson bv this time if I had not written them 
 down in earlier chapters. Arthur and I have not yet 
 made up our minds to another visit to England. AVe 
 have several friends there, however, whom we appreciate 
 exceedingly, in spite, as we often say to one another, of 
 their absurd and deplorable accent. 
 
 THE END. 
 
/ 
 1 
 P 
 
 A 
 
 << 
 
 rare i 
 
 A 
 
 " t 
 
 find.". 
 
 A 
 
 "S 
 never 1 
 
 T 
 
 "It 
 
 the des 
 the stre 
 Ii^nglish 
 
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