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B. — Farmers qot receiving or\e of t^\ese pamphlets by post caq f\ave one gratis at tl^o a^ove address or by mail or^ receipt of a 3 cer\t stanr^p. '»*•# CHATHAM: PLANBT PRINTING HOUSE. 1888 r ■'J-. IK Ih I?'- iff*' M \ A. MACFIE ikWkTER OF nigii® :^o^s^' ^ is:-R-i'^-^^^* ne edi ewM "Toaimwsmffiiiwwo. ; i* • n- I: -A ■ K.B.-Countty Stores Supplied Jjurchasers of large and a Liberal Discount Given b A X. s^ Ate ^ ^*^ ' . M RblU WHb 1c6et)S the greatest , mo\fiim ®^^ aihardordusty Be^ 1„ . Refrigerator. >n consequen^U^^^X *"»>)f- ^6iSiB«ik^*^«*^^- is- V ^1 ml!. f - '• ven lo BrODERICK & MORLEY, ' » • 112 WEST KING STREET, Opp. Orand Opera House, Chatham. Br. W. K. HALL, <':^,'- PHYSICIAN, SURGEON, ACCOUCHEUR, &c. - ' ■ OFFICE:-- -■■"'- ■"■■■•■ -■■•-'—.—-- ■ Next door to Parisian Laundry, and opp. Post Office. No. 1 Oldershaw Terrace, Raleigh St., Chatham. ^ greatest )«p >v Please ''%■ Opp. Garner House, - - v - - Chatham. ARTIFICIAL TSBTH. By the use of my Tooth Crown Bridge, Cavities can be filled with artificial substitutes, taking no more room in the mouth than the natural teeth, and without plates. '^ Vitalized Air for the Painless extraction of teeth. Preservation of the Natural Teeth a specialty. Charges Moderate. % W ^F ^P #iF HH W9^ JEWELLER. .. - ... : ealep ir^ (^old \J9Gt©t)e§ And Rogers* Genuine Plate Ware -1847. LARGE STOCK OF GOLD & SILYER-WKRE ALWAYS IN STOCK. — PRICES RFASONABLE. THE TOWN CLOCK, ^' King St., Olidtbani. ^^arpkin ^ocaie,*- W. R. PECK, - - - PrnpriBtar ^FIRST-ELfiSS HOTELS — TERMS MODERATE.— BUSSES TD AND FROM ALL DEPOTS GOOD SAMPLE ROOMS- »IV JOHN PRATT, CONFECTIONER , Cor. Market Square and King Street, Chatham. AN AMPLE S TOCK OF FR E SH CONFECTIONERY ' ' - ALWAYS READY. LIGHT ♦ MESLS + QUICKLY ♦ PREPARED.' 1 1 F. SMITR & CO; /; , ^ RELIABLE + • /; <^4SIGN0FTfiEBIG4^V: . King StrEEt, - - Ghstham. Third door west of the Dominion House. .POWELL&DHVIS. CHEMISTS m DRU&&ISTS, (jarner House Bll[.Ein£ St., Ctiatliani PRESCRIPTIONS CAREFULLY DISPENSED. Manufacturers of the Noted Blood Purifier Powell & DaYis' Extract of Sarsaparilla & Burdock PRICE 50 OTS. PER BOTTLE. N ii, — The purest quality of drugs only kept. , F ? ? ■ CROWNS ALU GLASGOW HOUSE, 0pp. Garner House, King St , Chatham. G^aagl^tora W ^apentette, Family Grocers, Provision Dealers, &c. ■»*«/iw'wm<^.mn».~. N. B.— Special attention paid to Farmers trade, to give the best quality of goods, Teas especially, at the lowest possible price is our study. r armeri>^'''|Kif5^an 7! -'^ A DIALOGUE BY i^- ARCHIBALD MACFIE, ©oFipinioR ^o(^l%e, CHKTHfiM, ONTARIO. /^ V • CHATHAM : PLANET PRINTING HOUSE. 1888 -- -j;-jj ! -J... .. ' Jail X It ^L THE FATHER RN^ HIS SON! B-y \ ji.2?,cmB.a.ijC a^ji.an:E. Ot] / V FATHER. Tired of farming ? Yea, my son, You say your work is never done, Complain of clothing and of food, And lately seem in surly mood ; You speak unkind to me and mother, And treat i)oor Sis unlike a brother. You're not yourself at all of late, What mischief's brewing in your pate ? You act so rude and discontented. And look like someone half demented ! What ails you son ? Look up, speak free. And tell your grievance all to me. SON. Well, Dad, you see I'm wiser growing, I've got to be a Jiltle knowing; The simple may be fond of ploughing, Cleaning stables, ditching, mowing, Drudging along each blessed day, Up to the hips in mud and clay, And always stuck in that low station. No better than the brute creation. You know before I went to school, I used to be that kind of fool. But now you see the transformation Produced by modem education. 8 You by your muscle earn your bread I'm going to earn it with my head ; I'm educated, don't yea see, Knowledge and labor won't agree. The fact is, Dad, I'm now too cute To labor daily like a brute, I'll go to college for a session To study up for a profession. rii foi a season be a teacher, Then a sanctimonious preacher, To preach two sermons every week Will be to me an easy trick, And show when moving in society, All o'er my face some traits of piety. And siv ce the people are too idle To studv ..t themselves the bible, Thf^ '; i! gladly pay me goodly wages mystery of its pages. I'll oft relate that awful tale How Jonah gobbled up the whale, And discourse, sometimes, upon The story of the prod 'gal son ; And other fables of the kind — How Joseph left his coat behind. But, Daddy, ten to one. I'll wage There are no Joseph's in this age ; A modern preacher he would not, 9 In such a manner lost his coat. He'd scorn to lose his Ijest apparel And with a lady have a quarrel. Six thousand years their course has spent, We have read of many a noted saint, Yet know of none who's had existence But Joseph offering strong resistance To woman's little coaxing ways, When tempting trap for man she lays. But who can fathom woman's hate For him who swallows not the bait When she with lustful heart shall pitch The tempter's snare within his reach ? History new and old you see I know as pat as A B C, And you may bet your bottom dollar . I'll be the gentleman and scholar. T'is only men devoid of sense Who labor now behind the fence ; The world may be the busy bee And fill the honey comb for me. Now, Daddy, you're away behind And know but little of mankind, They're one part good and two parts vicious, They're gullible and superstitious ; And mostly keep from doing evil For fear of that old chap, the de-;Il, How few do walk the narrow road For fear, or for the love of God ; And most of them are good, because *.i, ■Hii'ii mi>iliii(iiiii "•,%> 10 They are compelled by human laws. Abstaining oft from theft and treason, For fear of scaffold, hemp, and prison. The thought of flogging with the cat, And strong policeman with his bat, , , Prevents more mischief in our land \ Than efforts of the parson band With that old book they call the bible, Which science proves to be a foible. ,-?^ Yet, see how many can be hired To argue this old book inspired ; But, dad, the yarns bout inspiration Are quashed by modern education. A teacher now would be a fool To teach such rubbish in a school ; Were he to breathe the word theology, He would be asked tor an apology, /And modern teachers know too well L They must not talk of heaven or hell. And, dad, I'm very proud to state In school the bible 's out of date, And less bel' ved than wliat Defoe Compiled 'bout Robinson Crusoe. And with us boys the thought prevails The bible's naught but Hebrew tales. The very dregs of superstition, From end to end a vague tradition ; As full of imaginary flights As tales of the Arabian nights. j Still, for a stipend I incline j To teach the old book as divine ; I The more the hypocrite I play \ The larger shall become my pay. Like Dr. Wild I'll give them bits About the eastern pyramids, And, of course, I must contend The world is coming to an end, Baseing all my calculations Upon the book of Revelations. I'll write a book, a little daisy, 'Twill drive a million people crazy ; , I'll do all this and risk the sin If I can scoop the dollars in. ' V A dip in that infernal lake I'll risk it for the dollar's sake, For nowadays he's simply trash, The man that's poor and short of cash. With dimes enough we can dispense With virtue and with common sense, And thousands bow before our nod To worship us instead of God. FATHER. My son, my son! your words are such As to aggrieve your father much ; I'd rather see you lying dead Than listen to the speech you've made ; I fear, my son, our modern schools !*^ 12 Are nurseries for knaves and fools ; Sceptics are there as thick as bees Or skippers in a fat old cheese ; Sinners and idlers, too, are there As thick as colly's shaggy hair, 'Vho want to earn their sip and bit By what is known lo them as wit ; That wit, devoid good sense and piety. Repugnant to all good society, Wit which daily helps to swell The inmates of the convict's cell. ■.V.' a'' m 1 listened to your grand oration Extolling modern education. Our sceptic breeding, modern schools Turn out one wise to twenty fools. The latter class we always find The very bane of human kind, Concocting fraud and imposition To gain in life a grand position, Impious wretches who would kill A neighbor for a dollar bill To satiate some favorite lust By which their nature is a^curs'd. I'd work in sunshine or in shade With pick, with barrow or with spade. Far sooner than I would pursue The evil course proposed by you. /I'd rather work from day to day I Up to the hips in mud and clay, I I'd rather be forever poor 13 And have lo beg from door to door Than live in luxury and be A sneaking, lying pharisee. i . The bible and the preacher you Pronounce as worthless and untrue. It v'^u d':^rive us of their grace What will you give us in their place ? The grand old book I cannot spare Till you can offer better fare. To me the old book is divine, 'Tis like an ever yielding mine In which beneath a little mould Lie seams of rarest, purest gold. 'Tis like a guide who leads the way When darkness all around us lay. The only compass to us given That clearly points theway to heaven It is the chart which sheweth clear The safest course for us to steer. X No more the sceptic's lore recount Cio read the sermon on the mount, And study well the precepts rare That you will tind recorded there. They teach to others you should do As you would have them do to you. If you but once that sermon scan Tm sure you'll be a better man, I knew, my son, therein you'll find Far better thoughts to fill your mind. li u Your thoughts were pure as morning air, While here with me you worked your share, I've heard you whistling at the plough Or singing gaily on the mow. And when the work of day was done " How proud I was of you, my son. i ■ And every night, iho' often tired, When to our chamber we retired, Mother and I would join as one To ask God's blessing on our son ; And he who for the sparrows care Will surely heed our earnest prayer, And lead you from the path of woe To that pure way that you should go. My son, if you should wish to be From naughty ways forever free, If you would wish to keep from harm. The safest place is on the farm. Avoid the city's wicked throng Who're often tempted to do wrong, Where honor is so often sold, Where virtue is exchanged for gold^ Where human clamour never cease, Where no pure air you get to breathe, Where friendship's bonds are cast aside Replaced by sham, deceit and pride. Where flaunting jades are daily seen Who grand would be as Shehd's Queen ^ Gaudy, painted, lewd decoys ' '■ ^ :ii ' - 16 Who lead to ruin country boys. Read Solomon's proverbs through and through And then you'll think my words are true. Not Solomon's song, for that great sage Intended it for riper age. ■^'*::;) -■ 'UJ: The billiard hall and the saloon No doubt you think a very boon, Where thoughtless youths do seem to find Sweet recreation for their mind. Yet there, my son, you soon may trace The infant step to fell disgrace ; And they who pleasure seeketh there. Of earthly sorrows get their share. Temptations here are very few,r At times we're vexed and grumble too ; When weather is too cold or hot We're discontented with our lot, And oft find fault with nature's laws When we, blind creatures, have no cause. And say that this or th'other field Its proper share neglects to yield ; But these are faults in human kind As small as folk expect to find. 'Tis true, in fortune's fickle race, The farmer goes a slower pace Than they who wears the sombre gown And rushing natives of the town, So full of schooling, seeming wise. Yet, still the farmer gains the prize. 16 By slow degrees he climbs the hill And pays betimes each lawful bill, ' He's not the gentleman and scholar Who pays but fifty on the dollar. No, no, my son, the farmer's plan Is pay what's right to every man, And scorn to claim the least relation To fops with modern education. He's void of sense whoever classes Farmers with t -!ucated asses, Or artful knaves whose studied plan Is cheating others when they can. I Doctors, lawyers, yes, and preachers, Scheming merchants, pawky teachers, Fain would risk the hempen collar For sake of the almighty dollar. There are exceptions, not a few, ' ■ But most of them mean tricks will do, Rather than use a pick or spade Or ply at the mechanic's trade, To plunder others they combine, Are these the men you wish to join? Remember, sir, to keep from harm The safest place is on the farm. V***" : » , ; , ^'■■ When I in bed lie snug and warm I'm growing rich upon the farm, Grass to make the bulky mow, Wheat beneath the winter snow. Colt and calf and lamb aud sow, Night and day they grow and grow, 17 Day and night sunshine or rai.. Beasts and pasture roots and grain, E'en when hurricanes are blowing Something on the farm is growing ; Let others to the cities swarm For me there's no place like the farm. The farmer's taught from nature's book The shmb, the tree, the flower, the brook, The bi*d that warbles on the spray To greet with joy the break of day, The grass that waves upon the lea. The beaver, ant, and thrifty bee, The kine around the barnyard stalk, Tho' mute, the language daily talk Of Him the universe doth rule. Head master of old Nature's school. .^«^'::',::":p/ ^ 1 W ' I- ■rT'.. ■■■■■'*■ '■- tl The modern youth of pubert age Delights to ape the ancient sage, Tho' but a calf would fain appear A very brawny kind of steer ; O'er flown with premature ideas. As stupid he as any he ass, A jelly-headed hobbledehoy Neither a child nor man nor boy. From such as these you got the tuition That fills your head with such confusion. ..:T ■';.;": ""^'S-'**-*, And, now, my son, it would appear You see the road to fortune clear, ^ 1 * i N i IK While yet, unseen, there may he there ^ Enough to make you claw your hair. V'es, obstacles of every size May daily on your path arise, And what to you may seem so fair Will prove but castles in the air, Erected on the flimsy haze On which the youth is prone to gaze, The youth who never dreamt of troubles And never heard of empty bubbles. Who thinks that he the ready money Can find in hives like wax and honey, Who dubs himself a clever lad When he extorts a V from dad. For purposes of modern schooling, But often spent in other fooling. *..'- ■ Since you for greatness have a thirst, And be a scholar grand you must, Prepare yourself without delay The piper's charges all to pay. For not a dime in my possession Will help you through a college session. When Lords the Commons' wish denies, The Commons can refuse supplies, The Commons thus the Lords oft forces To let the Commons be the bosses ; So, like the Commons who are wise, L slop this moment the supplies. ,> If you but wish to climb the hill To preach, to practice — law or pill, Do it aloiie, but if you slip, Your daddy will not help you up. , 'I -■■-•, " Should you perchance the summit gain By toil of body, rack of brain, May be that there instead of gold You'll find it chilly, damp and cold ; For hills are in the social scale Far colder, higher than ir the vale ; And pastures sweeter are below, High up the slope the rankest grow. \ ';«.■■'■> f < Tis true the higher up you get The more you see and more you fret, And olt the higher up you go The more you wish to be below. It matters not how pure the spring Mud to its bottom always cling, Our state, like nature, is two fold, Mixed with the dross is found tbe gold, And honey, tho' the sweetest thing, . Is found protected by the sting, The rose that scents the early morn Is found upon the prickly thorn. 20 So, lofty stations in this life Are always mixed with cares and strife, Behind ihe scene a power commands Which not one mortal understands. Nature to me is ever charming- I live with nature when I'm farming ; I'd rather be a farm possessor Then a classical professor In one of your collegiate schools Where students like a pack of fools, With scanty brains well on the rack, Are measuring on a comet's track Or seeking problems in astrology 7 '3 condemn our old theology. ::,..:.. I Your great professors plod and plod Through all the marvelous works of God, But when they think they know them all Grim death will make his chilly call; When he their breath begins to whittle They'll find they know but very little ; He'll cut them down, the lean old wizard, As quick as a Dakota blizzard. Dakota ! ah, my son, how rank In people's nostrils lately stank, *» i i^St f - v i w — u^ fe jy»- I i^'fefin.'f-.''.. -tjv 21 ♦;■ \ ♦ That Hiawathian abode, The pet of the Toronto G/o/'^^ A place that nature njver meant To be one fourth as good as Kent. ■.- ■; t ^ mu Yes, Kent, the queen of many counties. So inexhaustible in bounties. She yields us fruits both late and early; She yields us wheat and oats and barley; She yields us corn and milk and honey, For which we get the ready money; She yields tobacco, peas and beans, Potatoes, pork and handsome teams; Orchards full of plums and peaches, Maples, walnuts, oaks and beeches, Fields of tender herbs and grasses, She's noted too for bonny lasses — Not like the lasses bred in town, Padded up fron heels to crown. Painted till they're almost blind, And dromedary-like behind. The country girls, how sad to say, Incline to dress the self-same way, For in the fashion they must be, With towering hats a point to lee. A Fashion ! cause of thousand ills, Fashion ! early graves oft fills, Fashions ! virtue doth invade. Fashions ! many sinners made. A greater curse than run and wu I :/' 5*^ - ■ - 22 Countless, fashion's victims are, About this sin the preacher's mum, His texts of late, Scott Act and rum. Scott Act ! the basest legislation Imposed on any honest nation ; It causes murdering, quarreling, fightifl^) It causes villanous dynamiting; It causes lies and evil thinking; It causes death by poison drinking; It causes nasty spiteful fusses. Rank perjury and other curses. ^ Be honest, my son, and temperate too, But never join the Scott Act crew, And if you wish to keep from harm The safest place ^s on the farm. SON. Daddy, your words like wisdom seem. But, mark this dad, Each ancient notion it would now Be called a fad. They're out of date and far too slow The pokey ways o. long ago. You must consider this, dear dad, For, good or bad, the little lad Of eighty-eight has quicker sight «,,«ii»n»,*«.,a*«»«w-ss' Kf I v-f- ^■> '«'^5 23 And quicker hearing, is always peering With anxious eyes for some great prize Which he must gain by book and brain. To-day the youth, fifteen or less, You must confess, Knows more than you at forty- two ; This is the age of youthful sage, For one year's jamming and cramming In our schools to-day, I venture to say, Is well worth nine in the olden time. • / All now is push and a rush, A crash and a smash, The iron horse at full speed You can hardly see it Cleaving the air on the polished rail. '^ t The telephone and telegraph Sneer and laugh At the way you used to transmit the news. .^M'si^-' All is changed now, e'en the farmer's cow Is better bred and better fed ; The common grade is in the shade. The dunderpates are dying out With rust or gout. Or poking along behind half blind. / .... 24 ;. ..... ' . :-''■.:',: Some years ago when war did rage 'Twas blow for l)low ; ' Men tried tiieir strength at arm's length, But now one man With gatling gun makes twenty run. The lightning in iron cages is at our feet, We make it talk, and walk, and light the street The very darkest night --^ As light as noon in May or June. Chickens are hatched l)y steam, for it would seem It saves the hen the time and trouble Of chuckling and scratching, - ^ Of care and watching ; By this same plan scientists may find Some day they can produce mankind, For science so long Trampled beneath fanatic feet, . Is bound to rise up to the skies , : And drive to perdition that curse, superstition, The author of wars and bloody scars, The devil's conception for fraud and deception. n- This monster now is full of blight, ; It cannot stand this century's light, Yet, in your speech I well can trace Where this grim monster finds a place. »ii»««n*- ■«'«'•' \e 25 Talk not to nic o( farming;, 'tis alarming To see how hard you toil day after day Without pleasure or play ; There's no end of strife in such a life, Rather than be a slave I'll be a knave. FATHER. .-■/■ You talk of science and of art, Compare the railway to the cart ; ' = The one is slow, the other fast. Yet both reach journey's end at last. My son, the people go of late A very dangerous kind of gait, And smash ups are as common now As farmers' sons who hate the plow. I cannot see the urgent need To go at such infernal speed. Rushing along by land and lake. With scarcely time a breath to take. Give me the old way, sure and slow. Observing well each step I go ; This modern rush will not alarm The honest man who tills the farm. Presumption is a noted trait Of all the minors of to-day. While lispers only in their class They fain would speak as Baalam's ass. 26 I've often heard that terse adage, Young heads wont stick on shoulders old But yet, in this erratic age, On shoulders young, we're often told, Are heads so full of modern lore — Too full to hold one atom more. f- The youth to-day assumes too much Who would his father wisdom teach, Or claim to be a giant tree While but a verdant sapling he; ^ ;. Who men's ideas fain would throttle ' As soon as he forsakes the bottle, Or would his betters try to rule ' -., By silly theories brought from school ; f Who claims that he would dare explore ^ Where Satan sulphur has in store, And soar on high to visit Mars, Or wing his flight beyond the stars ; Who thinks to him the power is given To open wide the gates of heaven, And teach the brightest angels there The knowledge he so well can spare. v,j5i«<«V" •««'' In schools to-day there's too much taught, The feeble brains are over-wrought ; The cramming process is a fizzle, Weakening brains, and bones, and muscle. To battle well through life's confusion, Give me less knowledge and less tuition Rather than have a scholar's name And a weak dyspeptic frame. Kl 27 My father, peace be to his name, Was wise, yet little known to fame "As fame is understood to day", Yet, famous man was he, I say ; For he was frugal, honest, wise. He never cheated or told lies ; And this he often said to me : "An ounce of common sense, you see, Is better far for bread earning Than twenty pounds of college learning. " My son. you probably tti&y think That you at pleasure's fount might drink Of waters sweet an ample share, If you were but a millionaire. Yet, mark the lives of those who seem To go through life in happy dream, With every luxury at hand That cents and dollars can command. Did you but know in heart such men, I doubt if you would envy them ; For all is not pure gold that glitter They have their sorrows keen and bitter; And many sores they have I'm sure Which dollar bills can never cure, Sores produced by dark excesses. Sores which vanity caresses; Sores too horrid to reveal, I Sores which empty pride conceal. These sores are but the progeny I Of discontent and vanity. :, Afflictions which will never harm The youth who labors on the fann. -;%. ^^' :.<: 'r- fT ' 28 SON. Your arguments, dad, arc rather crude. Yet, very strong when understood ; I clearly see through all you say, * ' ' It points me to a safer way By which to travel through this life, Avoiding care, and sin, and strife. To soberer senses now I've come. Resembling thus, the prodigal son. The evil of my thoughts I've seen As from a dream awakened, seem To meditate and calmly think How nigh was I to ruin's brink ; How much of error I believed, How much by others was deceived. How thoughtless I received impressions Which soon would lead to grave transgressions Of all the laws the bible teaches, And all the truths the preacher preaches. I've erred, and now forgiveness crave; To evil thought I've been a slave, And would have travelled with the throng Who hate the right and love the wrong ; But for your counsel, daddy dear. My course among the rocks* I'd steer Without a chart to guide me through, But, dad, IVe found the chart in you ; The hidden reefs, I know them now, I'll stay with you and guide the plough ; To Sis I'll be a faithful brother, A loving son to you and mother, Your counsel cured me like a charm, I'll be contented on the farm. IT i FINIS. .■VVwww"'*'-^ ^ssKass*""- I ^PRINCE ♦ EDWURD^ TEIL ; A. F. RYALL. Proprietor, 1 GOOD SCCOMMODSTION FOR Farmers and the General Public. GOOD STABLING. . MAOAME MARIE SKIRVIN6 FASHIONABLE Dre^^ aqd Bl|antle Ma^ef ROOMS: Over Mays k Co. Dpp. Earner HnusE, Chatham. I . * I V If 4^ ATKINSON & RISPIN MONEY TO LOAN At LOWEST CURRENT RATE OF INTEREST. NO COMMISSION CHARGED TO BORROWERS. ^TIJB .&J1:> •( . Merchant Sy &c., of Chatham who are known to be Muiare dealers. •f ■i } 1 Harness Maker , . . , F. JACQUES. Confectioner ^ JNO. PRATT. Hats, Caps, Etc H. K. RIDLEY k CO. Boots and Shoes F. SMITH k CO. Jewelry ^ ED. JORDAN. Groceries McN Al^rKTON & MARENTETTR Drugs . POWELL ife DAVIS. Stationery I^>r4t OFFICE BOOK STORE. Tobacco ...... \ A. M. ROLLS. Hotel W. IC PECK, RANKIN HOUSK Loans and Insurance 'T**!^. .ATKINSON *k RISPIN. Pianos and Organs E. W. \V OOD. Dentist , ;^i L L. NICHOLLS. Tailoring .r^.4.mODERICK & MORLEY. Dry Goods DOMINION HOUSE. ress Making ...MADAME SKIRVING. tel .A. F. RYALL. I ■( ai iWi i wfc i w