IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) r/ tA 1.0 I.I 1.25 ■ 50 M IIIII25 II 2.2 1 2.0 1.8 U i 1.6 V] <^ /i ^>. /J. Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 .nl TH()r(MITS IN \ EIJSE. Y ^lur., October 19, IK:>. 10 the Cliurchwanlens of i'l... Pnu'.V Church : Gkn'tlkmex: — I beo- leave to roqucst that you will lay the enclosed document before the Lord Rishop of To to, And Oblige Yours, ^'*^ig"ed,) Clm-vv. Clement. p— T— R AND McW— LT~R. *SV((/;r never since the precious use Of pen and ink beg'un. Did letters v.rit by fools produce Such signal good to man. While intellect "mong high and low Is marching on, they say, Give mo P-t-r and McW-It-r, who go Like r7-ah.f \\\o other wav. Kveii iiov- 1 feel tlie coming light ; Even iur,v could folly lure My Hilly U-w — d, i'lo, to wi'ii;i Tiie Church's progress ^ure. Hy goe.sc i \v(: read la hislorO Ould l^oom wa.i sav^t! iroin ill; .\iiii ru)\v. to -riests of Isis \vhen forth they marched in long array. Employed, 'mong other grave devices, A mcrcd Aa.r^ to lead the way. And still the anti;inarian traces 'MoHg Iri.w Lnrth this pagan plan, For still in all religious eases They put Lord J'-l-r in the van. October 27tli, ISM. Gentlemen: — Certain complaints, connected with the Cluirch in this Parish, having recently l)een laid l)efore the Bishop, and, fear- ing that the statement so forwarded through you is of an ex-parte ciraracter, I think it - 'laty to put yo.i in possession of the enclosed document, eontainii.g, as it does, an impartial account of the whole affiilr in its irue iuid ,>ropir light. You must allow m.'. to hold you responsible for the proper preser- vation of the original paper by retaining it in your own possession; l)ut, at the same lime, I would suggest the propriety of your for- warding ro/w?, Avithout delay, to the several parties interested, vi/.: the Bishop, the Incuml)ent, the Curate, and the parties lodging t!'.e complaints. ' Asinus povtaDS niy>teri!i."' THOUGHTS IN VERSE. 3 I hope that this mftv tend to ttromole the cause of truth, order, and fair pliiy, of wliich kisst, especially, I beg to subdcribe myself An Admiher. 1 It hapjK'ncd oue day. in a villapo suburban, That a middlc-agi'il cock met an elderly hen, It was plain that his an'(l Inncs's Catechism in a river one day, Tlio' H was only an oi/!t St. p_l\q^ on WediK'sdiiy next; you will he kind t'n(»\ij,'li to lay lh,.id The dominion of humhu(i o'er land or salt water: Descend on tiio C.irdinal's biidical head, And finish the fame of the lengthy McW-lt-r. Stand foitli, man of Bibles, not Mahomet's pigeon When perched on the Kuran he dropp'd there, they say, Strong marks of \\U faith, ever shed o'er religion Such glory as McW-lt-r sheds every day. Come, Galen of souls, with Avhat vigor he crams Down the throat of P-t-r B-yl-e till it cracks again, Bolus on bolus, good man, and tlien d n3 [again. Both tlieir stomaclis and souls if thry dare cast them back Canonize nim! by Judas I we wiU canonize him. Fo.- cant is his hobby, and laiidtttion his bliss, And though wise mcti may pity, and wits may despise him, He '11 make but the better long saint for all this. Come quickly togetlier the wnole tribe of reformers. Convoke all the serious B-yl-s of the nation. Bring all II-w — ds and D-x-ns and Il-ld-rs and H-w--ds To witness McW-lt-r's great canonization. Yea humbly T 've ventured his merits to paint. Yea feebly have tried all his gifts to portray, 8 THOUGHTS IN VERSK. And they form a kkm toWr for making a saint Tliat the Di-vil's own iMlvoculo could not gainsay. Jump high ould D-15-q-r-o, D-x-n you roar, While MrW-lt-r's ^nirit n]n-aised from your eyes, Like a kite made of f( -ilscap in glory shall soar, With a long tail of rubbish behind, to the skies. Palladius. Til Ti), Doc. iSt., 1855. Rkv!) Sir: — Knowing you have a groat respect for the dignitaries of tile Church, I enclose you a few lines in i)raisc of the Ciirdinal of V ville. I ho])e you v.ill tiike care of them, and place them ..nioug your valuable pai)ers. I am Rev'd Sir. A Lay Hefohmku. Tin-: CARDINAL (iOT A •■lil<; BKE- IN HIS BONNET. McW-lt-r. McW-lt-r. how great is thy tame! >\. Raul knows thv name you nu\y depend on it 'oor l>_t_r of Y -ville will tell vou the same. That you "ve got a '•/>/// her" in your bonnet. Your knowleda-e of law, it has gone far and near, Chiincelliir Ihirmi himself would be proud ou't: lint to nil your own friends the case is (luite clear, You "ve got a ''hi;/ hie" in your bonnet. The Rajah of IJellevue, the friend you ken weel, Has a very great wish, you may rely on 't. 1 soun< I your irrcat i>raise. your glory to tell, Rut he's told by tlie Rriest you've a -//^v" in your bonnet. Vour friends in religion speak high in your praise. Your Hniiid opinion they think liighly on it, .\nd wish vou to teach them the whole of their days, Rut still tliev all sav you 've a in vour bonnet. Your (jualiti/ shure none will dare to gainsay. Tho' 'iHiditihi should dare to think on it. Your amiable sense will show the right way, .Vlthough you are blest with a hrc in your bonnet. THOUGHTS IN VERSE. 9 OS al ni Oil, imnificulate conception! you brou|yht forth of late, The very great charge, and all you wrote on it: So much hard work must liavo addled your pate, No wonder you 'vc got a "% bee" in your bonnet. 0, thou man of renown! who shall 'w'c//«" thy praise? The Lord Bishop himself, you may rely on it, Thy acts will remember to the end of his days. He very well knows you 've a '• i^c" in your bonnet. Heck V.'-tt-y .McII-v-rs, it 's wcel enough kent, And the Laird (Bishop) says it's as sure as 'twere put in a sonnet, Th!\t a urw reformation is all that you meant, Knowing fu' weel there "s a "/>ee" in your bonnet. I don't say, my dear W — t. that your conduct's '■orcull,'' ^' Ftitnitii'ii'' not your forte. 1 do rely on it. Your old fi-iend P-t-r into trouble you 've pult. T 'm sure he'd believe tliere's a ^'-hee" in your bonnet. And now to conclude, my dear friend of St. Paul's, ■ The last race that yo\i run I "m sure that you won it, And P-t-r of Y villc tried to save you from falls, Thouo-h he vervwell knows there's a '-bee" in yourboutiet. Z.vxa.v. et. To TO, Di:c. 31, 185.). Sin: -I beg to enclose for your consideration, the accompanying document, and would suggest the propriety of sending copies of the same to tho^e parties for whose real welfare it was written, and of communicating its cotitents to any, or all, who may feel an interest in the same. Yours, Nemo. I promised, when last I indited some verses. To tell how our friend Cock-a-doodle got o\\: But crab-like, 'twas backwards he went; and what's worse is. No eye but the old hen's, midst all his reverses. With the soft glance of kindness or sympathy shone. 10 THOUGHTS IN VERSE. "Upon inv life, I do declare," Quoth Cock-a-doodle-doo, '"T would almost make a saint to swear; And if I were not better ware Than saints in common, then I dare To say. that I sliouM too. Here have I labored ni<:ht and day. To show these stunid people That Church reform is needed much, From basement to the steeple ; That Clertrymen are fools and knaves, If they do n't think with mc ; That Laymen will be turned to slaves, By priestly treacliery : — And yet the fools wo n't see it. Although 'tis clear as mud ; And I am almost left lone, To chew the bitter cud Of disai)pointment and of strife, And righteous indignation, That they own me not t{j be the light t>f another Reformation. Alas! the world's ungrateful, — Unworthy such as /." And he hid his head beneath liis wing, And I think he piped his eye. ■ The old hen sighed, and sorrowfully said, " Our case indeed is worthy of compassion ; Here have Ave called, and called in vain, for aid To mould our faith according to the fashion Of the dissenting hen-roost, and have made Our very combs gn^w pale with holy passion; And yet those hood-winked peoi)le shut their eyes. And close their ears against our earnest cries ! Still, 't is some comfort midst our woes, to know How nicely we the liishop overreached, — Frightening him with the thought that we should go. Unless the doctrine that we liked was preached. Thus having made his lordship put his foot in it, We're safe in Curates now to have a change. TTTQUailTS IN VERSE. 1.1 Bishops CAN 't KiiR ! and tlioiisrh there 's not much frood in it, We must be jrratetid lor the lute exchanj,",- ; Since that presumi)tuous Curate, who, yon knoAV, Thought he could teach us, now, at length must go." "Tliat Curate be hanft-ed," cav;kled out Cock-a-doo,— ''I — I didn't mean to swear, But the letter he wrote me 's a great deal more Than even a saint cm l)car. And to tliink of the sutlerings that I endure, For tlie sake of tlie reformation, "Would liave turned the patience of Job, I'm sure. Into vinegar and vexation. Little boys, 'round tlie corners of streets, do grin, And tliey shout -tuck, tuck-a-too!' And if I run after them, others behind Sing out 'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' Thus when ^\'c lutped to have gained renown, ]\[idst the stui)id jiarishioners here, 'T is veiw disgusting to meet with a frown, Or else with a cutting sneer. The five, tliat with us nmde a glorious seven, Have left us l)oth in the lurcii ; And (», to tliink that on Thiirsdaj/ last, "W'e were fairly drummed out of the Ciuirch ! Oh dear! what a terrible wound 1 've gut In the organ of self-esteem. Perlia]»s my head's rather prominent just at that spot; But who in the worM could dream, That after the IJishop's decision we'd got, That all Wm projilr would grow so hot, And hit me a crack on the tender spot, That almost makes me scream'?" " Alas ! " more calmly said the aged hen, '•Another feature in the case 1 see. Which I don't like, and it is this: that when Monev is wanted for the Cluirdi, whv then They'll sioj) supplies, and look to you and me. In '/')'\'riiii\ /,-/t<>ir/f(l;/f, (/oodih's-x, tluM'c's no doubt. (h/r (/iiiili/i/ their t/i((iiitif>/ oulw t iglis ; — 12 THOUGHTS IN VERSE. But when it comes to downright forldng out, Why then /don't despise the man that pays. I love, 'tis true, to serve the Church -by talk; And I can speak of peace in words of honey ; But I would ratlier leave ray perch, and walk, Than have to be forever giving money. Your five pounds will not build the Church, nor fifty From me won't keep it up, however tlinfty. ■ '• Oh, never fear,"' quoth Cock-a-doo. '< I pee the way to save Our credit and our bacon too, So now give ear I crave :— T -ve heard it said, the Curate new. On Thursday, at the meeting, Declared the old one's teaching true. And on his excellences too. He gave them cordial greeting. So now observe, our way is clear : We will not pay till he Has made it plainly to appear. That he '.< from ruscyism clear, And that we've nothing more lo fear From semi-Popery." MORAL. When silly people will forget The ancient proverb, always true, "A^'r !>utor uhra cvp'nhim^'' Tliev must not wonder if they ,uet Lan..hed at. and scorned, and pitied too. 'rm sick of scolling, — thai T am: But still, one must their duty do: And since ..nc can "t cunvin.'e a fool. There's nothing left but ridicule. Y>?.c 1st, IS.'J.'i. I