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Les cartes, planches, tabfeaux, etc., peuvent Atre fiimAs d des taux de reduction diffArents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour Atre reproduit en - 1 seul clichA. 11 est filme A partir de I'angle supArieur gauche, de gauche A droite, et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images nAcessaire. Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la mAthode. 22t 1 2 3 4 5 6 ( (Fin Pbinte] THE KING OF THE BEAVEEB A NEW, ORIGINAL, POLITICAL, ALLEGORICAL, BURLESQUE, EXTRAVAGANZA. BY SAM SCRIBBLE, Comedian, Author of "DoLoRsoLATio," "Not D«ad Yet." rfc, &c., Jcc. (First performed at Theatre Royal, Montreal, L. C. December 26th, 18G5, iy the Amateurs of the Garrison.) MONTREAL : Printed by M. LnwaunnoB a r>„ p- »- a-, ^ t. ,.,„ jEi^iiroi liocsB, 67 Great St. Jimes Street 1865. Ha: SiN] Azt Tep M ic Den Dm Pet AZD Brii THE KING OF THE BEAVERS. DRAMATIS PKKSON^. Happy-Go- Lucky, King of the Beavers, in love with Azuline. Sinecure, his Major Domo. AzuwARE, Commander of his Forces. Terry O'Noggin, Ut Conspirator. MiCKiE McGuFFix, 2ad Conspirator. Dennis 0' Toole, ^rd Conspirator. DuuDUEEN O'llAGGEDY, Thcir Head Centre, Messengers, Guards, Rowdies, Volunteers, dc. Petrolea, Queen Mother of Beavcrland. Azuline, Queen of the Blue Xoses. Britannia, the Guardian Genius of Beaverland. r Is D Is THE KING OF THE BEAVERS. SCENE I. Rendez.vou, „f the Conspirators. A Uoc.l DnunuEEN O'IUq- OEDY, Ut Conspirator and 2nd Conspirator sitting at table c on icHch are glasses, a Jug, drc. [Mystcriom music at the rise of the Cunain.2 DHUDnEEN. Be quiet as a mouse— . ^'•^ ^"^^- Bo aisy, Pat- Docs our Head Cnitre tliiuk he sm,lls a rat ? [Enter 3rd Conspirator, R, armed, ver,, cautioush,.-] rfRD toN. There's no one stirrii.-, darlints. overhead— I've seen the one Policeman off to led. Dhudheo. How faros our plot ? You know, in these hard timet^ 1 he one thing needful is. in fact, the dimes— 1st Con. Here's my Subscription List— DhuDIIEEN. ai, ( ti,.,«'. , . *• All ! tliat s your hort ! [All come forward.'^ 1st Con. [Reads'] " Fourpence from X. Y. Z.-three coppers short- " An Anti-Britisher declares he's willing " To pay us on demand his last York shilling— " Incog, who's anxious to avoid exiwsure, " Sends us his compliments, but no enclosure— " A servant gal is eager to explain " She's tried her Master's pockets, all in vain ;— " A friend, who liberality can boast, " One Dollar I N.B. Stolen in the Post !" That's the sum total. DiiUDiiEKN. Piiitli! it miu'ht bo worse ! I'll tako the fourpeiico for my Privy Purso ! Whiit other ncvrn ? 2nd Con. Well, Captin. every rogun Is fired with arJor when ho hoars my Itroguc Our sympathizers hold mofit liberal views. Dhi'DIIKKN. Exactly !— aa they've nothing mueh to Io«o ! 2.\D Con. Gratuitous drink to glory points the way, And GrilTin Town is eager lor ti.e iiay ! The Watchword, " Up with wages ! Down with labor! "Each for himself, and Devil tako yuur lu'ighlmr!" That's all they're wanting — 3rd Con, iSure,— but, Captiu honey, Our army hints they'd like to f-ce sonic money. DllUDUKKN. Bedad ! our terms are Cash ! the same as ever, Cash on demand,— a< three nvmtlis offer finer/ — [All laugh.] As for the coin, what little comes to hand, Wc can tako care of it. IsT Con. We understand— [All hiiKjh.-] Dhudiieen. The more the poor folks get, it goes the quicker Temptation looks so well disguised in liquor — And coin's a lad companion, for they write That even Money now is "getting tight .'"' — But business! darlints: — the last mail has brought u Dispatch to us across the salt sea water — Omnes. Hear! Hear! [Produces an enormous envelojyc.'] Dhudiiekn. Well, boys,— I'll read it to the meeting . \^Reads'] *' The absent by these Presents .send you Greeting, "Whereas our new Kepublie, as it ought, " jMeans to run long, but finds its means run short ; " And with true friends so false, and ranks so thinned, " To organize a blow, must raise the wind : — " Whereas our ship of state has gone so wrong " Recause her helm's been kept hard vp too long : — " Whereas" — Oh! tear and ouns ! a mild request, I see her game. So never mind the rest. [Pockets the Disnatch,! IsT Con. Think of the Beaver-^, and their Kiii|r, I lo,'-— There i-* the goo.sc to lay a golden op^. 2nd Con. The guotn I'utrolta olFers mines of wtaltli— Think of htr ' !h- !'— IHitiinEr.N. Vt s ! Sure ! I'll drink her health. \_Goes to fitUc and r/r/w/.-s.] Hill) Cos. Their Kin;j; in fancied hafcty (nn't it jdiiue?) Trusts to luH luck, uud dozia all the time — We'll fix hiui ! IsT Con. Hurry, then I or, on tho sly IJritnnnia 'II have a tingcr in the ].ic. — [All go to talk; Jill horns, and come ilown melodramatically — Mutic.'] O.MNK.s. We swear! DllUDiiEEX. My bully boys ! bird.s of a foathor At any rate we ouglit to hany together ! Now, to your duties quickly as you can — Vuu march on foot, and I'll miirch in the van. Ql'INTKTT ANI> C\U\\\\:s,—'' I'm off to Charleston n." DlIUDlIKKN. We'll master this fine Beaver land without a doubt, J say. 1st Con. We must n't lose this night then, if vc hope to gain the day, 'ls\^ Con. So off we go to Beaver land the lot of us, and we 3UD Con. Before to-morrow motning vill have got the victory ! DllUDllKKN. If Fortune does JaOTfroirn, hf ire to-morrow morning, If Fortune does sot frown there'll be the deuce to pay. 1st Con. We'l'fix the silly fools who think the/ can laugh at wa— If Fortune does sot frown, we are safe to win the day ! [Repeat in Chorus — Characteristic dance and exeunt , u.^ 8 A: SCENE U. Garden of AzruNK'n PoUice. [Enter A.iy:L\iiv. fuUoicid hi/ Bkitannia, l.] AZULINE. [thnny/if/uUi/] — '• To be, or not to be, thiit Ih the question.' Britannia. Dcuv Azuliue, don't snub a good sugficstion — Ilappy-jro-lucky is ho jiood a niatc^h, 'T were pity you should miss tliis easy catch. lie loves you to distraction, but you hurt His feelings. AzuLiNE. ' Spare me ! — I was born a flirt I — Give me an officer ! I'm loath to part From whiskers that have curkd around my heart : — For Cupid (thouiih my sentiments you're shocked at) Has knocked my early love into a cocked-hat ! And so, Britannia dearest don't incline Thus cruelly to shunt me off" the Line ! Britannia. In winter pic-nics you're wrapped up I see, — The " Muffin'' system suits you to a T, — And dancing all your better self conceals : — I wish your head would learn to save your heels. You little goose ! to think that you could jog on Through life on some poor spooney boy's toboggan ! Give up a King indeed ? and wed a Sub ! There'd bo a pretty scrape. AzuLiNE. Ay, there's the rub ! Between two stools, my dear, in doubt I tarry — Britannia. My Maritime young friend, 'tis lime to marry — The King's a nice young man, so do what's right. Or he may wed the Yankee out of spite. AzuLlNE. I never thought of that. Britannia. Yes ! that's the point — Then your Blue Noses would be out of joint — Bi As Bf AZULINE. But thcre'H oiio obstacle, for you lor^^ot Hia jMujosty ia said to bo in debt— And so luH troubles 'twouhl bo liard to Hliarc, When I Iinve notliinj; of uiy own to spare — Britannia. Absurd! my Azulinc.— Come! do my pleasure— What are small debts, when you're so pn-iit a treasure ? I've set my heart upu this I'nion.— Do, There's a dear <,Mrl, holp mo to put it throujrh,— AZULINE. You're our good Genius, so I'm bound to do so— Britannia. Then telegraph at once!- I'll stand your trousseau ! [Music. F'xrmit. vrrif lovingly. R.] 10 SCENE 111. Council Chamber in the Palace of King Happy-go-Lucky. [Kino in arm-chair i\. c. jiropped vp ivith pillows — Queen Petrolea, Sineclke, Azi-WARE, and attendants discovered.'] \_Mmic — Piano — " Wtre all a-noddiiig."] Sinecure. Your Mujesty — King. Get out ! I waiit rejw.se — Chase the Mosquitoes from our roy;;l iio.'^e ! [Falls ashcjj.'] [Attendants fan King— Petuolea, Sinecure, mj^Z Azuware, come doicn.] Queen, c. Tho darling boy ! what think }ou of his state ? Good Sinecure, he looks £o delicate ! — Hc'.s sweet on Azuline, but some nev/ whim Makes her, (the hussy !) far from sweet on him — lie's fretting, and wlio knows but, iu despair, The boy may now ally himself elsewhere !— ■ See, there's no rousing him — Sinecure, ii. Great Queen, well I Must say His Majesty looks pretty spry — He takes it easy, and whate'er betide, Sticks to our golden rule to let things slide — Queen. That's well enough in youth, but then you know How cares increase upon us as we grow, And dangers, that beset our very door, May make his easy chair the Seat of War ! Sinecure. Great Queen, we must confess your son, of late, Leans too much on tho^i7/ar of the State, [Pointing to pillows.] And we must rouse him — Azuware. l. Why he laughs at fear, As is the duty of a Volunteer ! He's fit for any duty, if he please ! Queen. At any rate he's learned to stand at ease I Azuware. To * carry arms' is not beyond his scope — Queen. He's far more likely, as I think, to slope / 11 AzuWARE. And ' ordering ar7ns' to him is quite child's play — Queen. 'Order Arms T yes ! and then ask me to pay ! AzuwARE. He loves the Bugles — t-ure as I am born — King, [halfawahc] Bother your Buj^les, I prefer my horn I Queen. Such conduct in a King will never do — We can't have Sovereigns lying idle — Sinecure. True ! Too cat^y lies thiit head on bod of down — As if his Rojal hat had not a croun ! Sound the Reveill6e ! [AZUWAUE is about to sound Bugle, when King starts up, a7id comes down, hoi J ?i is cars. 2 King. No ! pray don't — forbear ! This ear does not appreciate that air! I've had a snooze, old lady, have I not ? But waking feel our coppers rather hot. Give us a bumper as befits our station — Strengthened with '^Forty-rod' Vll ivhip creation! [Attendants bring whislcy — King drinks.'^ Our Highness is himself again ? — and now In vulgar English tell me ^/hat's the row ? Sinecure. There's danger stirring ! and there's work to do I Queen. So mind your p's, and — King. \iJreamilij,'\ p's ! L^ that »»^ cmc ? Now post me up in this new cause of grief — For Bogus Greenbacks have you sold our Beef? The ' Cruel War is over ' — let me see — Is there a plot on foot to kidnap me ? — Our streets Tve icidened, grant me then the praise Of having set to work to mend my ways — Sinecure. Of Reciprocity some notice take. Open your Eoyal eyes. King, [knowingly^ I'm wide awake ! Sinecure. In sanitary measures you might gain Experience. King. Yes I I always loved a drain I Azuware. Plan of Defences — 12 Queen Though you talk so bi^ Think not that Earthworks, boy, are infra dig Think of the Fenians ! Kino, [laughing'] Fenians? Queen. You may laugh, But it's all in the Evening Telegraph— Kino. Old woman's rubbish ! — Is your mind so narrer Not to say ho ! to geese, when they say '• arrah /" Murddr and Irish! — To Erin belongs The right of always harping on her wrongs ! AzuwARE. Call the Militia out ! Is that your pleasure ? Kino. Militia ? hem ! well ! we'll call that out at leisure— Queen. Forewarned, forearmed ! We know their base intent : Let us keep straight when thus the knaves are bent— If but Britannia now was here to settle Affairs — Ki Bb SI^ Qu [Cras/t— Britannia rises, holding a helmet.'] Britannia. Britannia's here ! and on her mettle I And with a rod in pickle, as you'll find, If you don't listen when I speak my mind. King. Refuse to listen ? Why, of course, I can't— [Aside] I've expectations from that valued Aunt !— I am all ears — Sinecure. And I, beyond a doubt— [Aside] She's in a chronic state of forking out 1 Britannia. If you all dangers from your land would shunt, You look out sharp ! ^^^^- And you Lok out the blunt f Britannia. A sorry joke ! Why, really now, I'm thinking There's strong suspicion that the boy's been drinking— For Kings there's no excuse — ^NG. Good fairy, stop! A reign's impossible without a drop ! Hearing the Fenians might attempt a raid I've been advised to try some Orange-ade— Britannia. By their own acts the Beavers stand or fall. I want you to be sensible, that's all— Sin Me5 Kin Mes Kin Mes Kin Mes Kin Mes Kin< 13 Shake off the torpor of your lazy life, And try a stimulant, let's say, a wife ! — King. I've asked my neighbour Azuline, but she Will always turn her blue nose up at me — Britannia. Wake up, and you may count on my assistance I'll back you up, from a respectful distance — This magic helmet take, 'twill giye you vigor To fight, to draw the sword, or pull the trigger — [Kino puts on helmet.] Thus armed, success is certain, but a King Should learn to let go now my apron string — Sinecure. That's good advice— we'll make you hold your own With this array of talent round your throne ! Queen. Besides, Britannia, though she is a fairy Of help to other folks can not be chary — She's much to do at home — Sinecure. Great Queen, you're right, When John Bull can't indulge his appetite— If things don't mend, the Britishers will soon Forget of Roast Beef all except the tune- In other words they'll lose their darling boast, When short of Cattle, that they rule the wast f [Sudden Music— "0 dear what can the matter he."— Characters in consternation— Enter R. very hurriedly a Messenger, who stands trembling.'] Messenger. Your Majesty, I— I— King. What, blockhead, more ? Messenger. Your Majesty, I— ^^G- So you said before — Messenger. There is a Rise— K'fNG. What ? prices getting higher ? Messenger. One hundred thousand— King. Dollars ? Messenger. Fenians, Sire I— The Fenian Army I Kino, [a la Macbeth] Ual Is' t thus you speak ? Go daub vermilion on thy pallid check. [Exit MESSENfjiE, R. in a hurry,] 14 I'm not afraid — AzuwAEE. Nor I— • Queen. Nor any here ! Sinecure. [astc?«] Things look so dark I've half a mind to clear — KiNQ. I feel invincible I — and I declare Fixed Bayonets seem to bristle in my hair I Azuware. Turn out Che Guard I Fall in the Active Force! Sinecure. [Excited] C ve him another wound ! bind up his horse— [King places himself between Sinecure and Azuware.] King. Ladies, good bye.— Shut tight our palace door, And let us three rush madly to the fore ! Grand March and Chorus—" Ghri/, Glory:' King. This Fenian body soon well make to ' stand around' Glory ! Glory ! I'll jmrsuc yer ! This Fenian bunkum shall be proved an empty sound, Glory! Glory! I'll pursue yer I Chorus. Glory ! Glory ! I'll pursue yer! Glory ! Glory ! I'll pursue yer ! Glory! Glory! I'll pursue yer ! As we (JO Marching on ! [Burlesque ^laxch— Exeunt R. marching, KiNG, Sinecure, Azuware,— Britannia and Queen, attendants in rearJ] [^ Di 1st 2ni 15 SCENE IV. A Wood, — a large tree. L. tr. b. [Enter L. 2 E. Marching, the Fenian Ar3IY with banners inscribed " Fenian Bonds," &c. 1st Conspirator, 2nd Conspira- tor, 3rd Conspirator, and Dhudheen O'Ragqedy, all armed— Army marches to K. jl/imc.j Dhudheen. " So shaken as we are, so wan with care," Our legs are not exactly what they were — Here will we rest awhile. If there's a chance Of danger, well,— I guess we won't advance — Thus far we've struck a most decisive blow ! So far, so well ! we've never seen the foo ! [Cheers from the Army.'\ " He laughs at scars who never felt a wound" — That's why so bravely we have stood our ground* — [Cheers from the Army."] O'Noggin go one way, and, trusty Mike, You keep that road — let no one pass your pike ! [O'Noggin goes to l. 2 e. McGuffin to r. 2 e.] Keep your eyes open, and I'll have no fears Knowing my sentries have a hundred ears ! Right face 1 [The Army faces in different directions."] My gallant scare-crows, if the foe Should come upon us, run ! — and let me know ! Look to your arms, and don't forget tc use 'em 1 Quick March ! Go, risk your precious lives, — and lose 'em f [3Iusic — Exit Army, r — Dhudheen retires R. u. e. Conspirators together, c] 1 ST Con. [shivering'] It's precious cold, and I'm wet through — 2nd Con. And I, Despite the weather feel uncommon dry ! 16 3rd Con. My baccy's gone. Bad luck to such a joke As, doing sentry, go without a smoke ! 1st Con. A drop of whisky 'd do no end of good ! 2nd Con. Bedad I I'd like to see it, in the wood! 1st Con. [listening,] Whishst ! there's a footstep, blundering over roots. 3rd Con. P'raps it's the enemy in creaky boots ! 1st Con. This promises reward for all our toil, You go and kill him !— and I'll share the spoil. [Music. Enter R. Azuline in tmvelUng dress. She carries a band- box, and is evidentli/ searching for something on the ground.] AZULINE. [Singing as she enters.] where, and icheie, can my waterfall have gone ! IST Con. A woman, by the powers ! so '' let her rip !" [Rushes forward and seizes AzULlNE.] AzuLiNB. What means this seizure ? 1st Con. That's the Fenian grip ! [1st Conspirator Jfotos whistle—Re-enter Duvdti^^^ and hmi^ — Tableau.] AZULINE. What ? hurt a lonely girl ! Let go your hand. And show me, please, the way to Beaverland, — These horrid roads of yours upset my sleig'" : I've been pitched out, — and, having lost my way, Like the poor "children in the wood" I'm sobbing— Dhudheen. You do the children, and I'll do the robbin' ! _,. , TV [Seizes band-box.] 1 le up the Prisoner to yon tall trees, And we can search her band-box at our ease ! [3Iusic. AzuLiNE is tied to tree, L. u. e. Dhudheen. and Conspirators examine band-box. r. o.] IsT Con. What, only rubbish here ! bad luck upon it I Azuline. Kill me, but spare, spare my wedding bonnet ! They're very deaf ;— if ever I get free, I'll hang the woodman that has spared this tree ! I've lost mi/ box, but every hope has sunk Of ever getting rid of this old trunk ! Britannia's words I once thought so importunate. But this is an attachnent most unfortunate I [Dhudheen ^nc?s Photograph in band-box.] Dhudheen. By japera ! yes I no I yes I It is ! l8' Di Is^ m Az Azi [Mil [En, KlN( 17 Jf^CoN. What is it? Dhudiieen. Look on the girl and on this Carte de Vmt-^ IsT Con. Queen Azuline ! I see she's wrote her name DuurnEEN. It is I it can't be ! yes, it is the same I A Queen I the prize is mine I So, by your lave. Bewitching captive, I'm your humble slave ! [Approaches AzvUNE, overpowered with hurlesqne emotion,-] 1 he shafts of love have pierced this virgin heart ! The shafts, suggested doubtless by your Carte I I'll be a King, and you my bride ! Azuline. v„„',„ lou re wrong; You 11 find ' the tied' against you far too strong ! Air, Azuline. " Gver the Sea." Fiddle-de dee I Fiddle-de-dee! Such love u-ovldi/ou dare, Sir, to whisper to me? Fiddlededee t Fiddle-de-dee! Jn thinking Fd have yon, you're wrong ! So march ! march ! march ! Vou may say I'm invidious But really, you're hideous ! So march ! march I march ! You're coming it rayther too strong ! [DllUDHEEN approaches Azuline who struggles to free herself.'] Azuline. Help ! some one, help ! but vain are all my hopes ! I'm not a Dav'nport, and don't know the ropes— Help I [Mu^c piano, then crescendo, and distant chorus, as at the end of Scene III. Conspirators in great alarm.^ Ah ! the Beavers' marcL then friends are near ! I'll go into hysterics I ah I they're here ! IFnter R. 2 E. Kino, Sinecure, and Azuware, with Attendants armed. They menace Conspirators who get down r. as Kino and Attendants get over L.] King. Who calls for help?— the Beavers' King responds— [Rushes over to Azuline.] I'll make small work of these your Feiilun Bonds i [Cuts cords and frees AZULINE.] 18 What ? Azuline, my own ! My heart's best treasure f This is indeed an unexpected pleasure ! Who ever thought of you in such a place ! One moment, gentlemen, we must embrace ! [ They embrace. Tableau.'] IST Con. It's all up, Captain, with our insurrection ! 2nd Con. The better part of valor is discretion, — We're lost entirely, boys, and I for one. Vote for Retreat, if there's a chance to run ! 3rd Con. And 1 1 — Kino, [pointing to Conspirators.] But what are these, may I enquire, "So withered and so wild in their attire" — Mixed pickles! each more ragged t' an his brother. And clothed as if they tried <' outstrip each other I Sinecure. Your Majesty, I think, it's very clear These are the Rebels you've been taught to fear — KiNQ. The Rebels ! Yes ! I see their looks confessing They want what they will get, and that's a dressing ! DiiUDHEEN. Come on, brave Army I [The Conspirators stand still] They'll not move a joint ! They've screwed their courage to the sticking point ! [to King,] Have at you now I [to Conspirators,] You cowards, wait a bit And I, at any rate, will make a hit ! [Attacks King — they fight. SiNECURB/^Ate with Ist Con- spirator. AzvyfARiE fights with2tiD and 3rd Conspi- rators. Azuline retires during the fight. Music. After a terrific combat Dhudheen /aZ& L. c, and KiNO stands over him in a triumphant attitude. At the same instant IsT Conspirator falls r. and Sinecure stands over him. 2nd and 3rd Conspirators faU l, Azu- ware threatening them. AzuLiNE comes down to King. Petrolea rushes in from R. 2 E., and goes to King. Britannia rises c. Tableau !] Petrolea. My darling safe and sound ! and you have been And gonft .and done it ! 19 ^'T"',, . Yes, and Azuline Saved by his arm, must give the credit due To valour. Kino Give me credit ? Oh ! po>h ! pooh ! Love asks no credit, whit it wants is trust! Give me your hand — AzuuNE. Well, I suppose I must- Wo'll be united, I don't care how soon, With one proviso,— not in a Balloon t Britannia. That's bravely said on both sides, and I dare Predict a brilliant future for the pair- All's well that ends well ! for you know that I Have long since had this Union in niy eye. This marriage is the cure for ev'ry ill— Sinecure. If marriage doesn't fix him,-why, what will ? Dhudiieen. What's to become of us? Britannia. Let /^/.^/«^ cease. Trust to the Public to approve the Piece— Improve your manners, for these Rebel tricks Receive no half-pence as reward, but kicks.— Kino, [advancing] Kind friends— Azuline [interrupting] You've said enough, Sir. for to-night- Ihe last word is a woman's. ° ^'^^l^^^" I was right, I said she'd fix him-thafs the old, old story— Dhudheen, [to K7.mAm, pointing to audience.] Tip 'em the blarney, or I'll do it for ye— Azuline. [to arulience,] Enough from us, do you now take the cue- I need not tell you what you have to do— Your part is easy, and in fact, my friends, I see you have it, at your /ingers' ends / [Tmitating the action of applause.] Finale : « Sir lioger de Coverhyr Britannia. Dance! I love the smut of it f Kino. Yes! WelUnakea'i!iiQUTofit! Conspirators. We are in far a Spree ! Petrolea. rve the gout, hut I'll dance on in spite 0/ it — r ISO Sinecure. I'll nop till J shake off my wia / AziJl.lNE. Andl will go in with the Rtar of ye/ DllUDllEEN. 'Tis I nm the boy for a jiq ! Britannia. And I'll foot it away with the best 0/ ye ! [^Repeat— Dance by CnARACTER?.] CURTAIN. J/^M-,