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Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la m^thode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 MiCRocnrv resolution test chart (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) 1.0 I.I 1.25 1^ 3.2 M |_4.0 nun 1.4 21 jll 2.2 '" 2.0 1.8 1.6 ^ ^iPPLIED IfvHGE Inc 1653 East Main Street Rochestt,-, New Yr-k 14609 USA (716) 482 -0300- Phone (716) 288-5989 -Fax I^'tl /^: ■^ (T'Ma' « •" OCTOR SYNTAX III! Illustrated ^; K A/CCi (ciryAt. OU ■ /oo y^i [%~l- ? ? •^'XA-'^AA-'Vi'vJt- y^ \J\ THE REV^ DOCTOE. SYNTAX ' 1 i) i ■'UK .s IN H OF THE PICT * I CONS. Oi 'V vviii \ .1 ^ b O In and C 1 >. D THE ''CHANDOS CLASSICS:' DOCTOR SYNTAX HIS THREE TOURS IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE, OF COr.oOLATION, OF A WIFE. TORONTO : ADAM, STEVENSON AND CO. Few literary brochures have attained greater celebrity than did the Syntax Tours. ^ The text is graphic, and the portraits drawn, from Doctor Dicky I Bend downwards, may still find counterparts in society,-VELLUM it may be, excepted; as William Combe, the author of Syntax seems I to have known none such, if the report of his latest biographer be correct, who represents him as having been bom to wealth, but as having died in poverty, although claiming to have given to the world one hundred books, contributed to a score of journals, and furnished matter for two thousand colun,ns in the newspapers and magazines of his day— 1773 to 1823. Th Thi Thi '^T' ?• '<*; A TOUR IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. BY THE REVEREND DOCTOR SYNTAX. CANTO I. The school was done, the business o'er. When tir'd of Greek and Latin lore, Good Syntax sought his easy chair, And sat in calm composure there Thus, ^^'^^^s^^^^^^^ ^^ ^^^o, images belegea\is ^Zi tr r 1 1- ^^^' ^^^ ^^^ ^°P^ of that was gone ;' He felt that he content must be With drudging in a Curacy Indeed, on ev'ry Sabbath-day, '' ^ * ^ curacy. Through eight long miles he took his way. lo preach, to grumble, and to pray ; To cheer the good, to warn the sinner, T u ,- ^^' " ^^ ^°^ it,— eat a dinner ; To bury these, to christen those, And marry such fond folks as cho<;P To change the tenor of their life. And ^sk the matrSonia str^e! Thus were his weekly journeys made, A ^ 111,- ^^^^^ .s"??»T^er suns and wintry shades : And all his gams, it did appear,- Were only thirty pounds a vear Besides, th' augmenting taxes press To aid expense and^add distress Mutton and beef and bread and beer aistress . Tu u ^"^, everything was grown so dear : ' The boys too ^l^^ays prone to eat, Delighted less in books than meat : So that when holy Christmas came, ' His earnings ceas'd to be the same, And now, alas, could do no more. Than keep the wolf vvithout the dcnr. E'en birch, the pedant master's boast, rru . c . so increas'd in worth and cost, That oft prudentially beguil'd. To save the rod, he spar'd the child Thus, If the times refus'd to mend, He to his school mSst put an e«^ TOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Whlt'lh^nl,''.;' !?' •' '"'"' •'""d '"5 fete - Th,,t\fM '^ o° '° "^"d his state ? And ft" 'hougS'across hto ^^2"' "^'" ""^ e'°<""^ ='^. And, as th' exnaSdw'""''^' '° "■^'""> ""d faSe ; The'paimed Scy d"l I^^uill""' „.^'"" -^ -ider .o his view, But, while he fac'd the roo^.VZr'^ ^'''^ '"'° ^ ^'""'=' y'-'^h troubles many a poor mLn"; life ^•}rV™'^.^P ^ by a visitation Good Mrs. Syntax was a lady Ten vear7„„ J"" visitation of his wife. The love of^potSe^e" JSt"' " ^'"i"'^^ ''""? !• or as her words were used to flow H^T " '^?-"']'^ '' '° ''■s cost : She'd s^^^"'?""'?^"-"- diSe';^;' ""'"'■ "■• >■" - — She d shake the boys and cuff the faster • She^co?lir'"«f "l^ =''«>"«' wrong, ' And, if we l^t'to tl'n r7,"SL''sher^ f"" '°"^^' Her face was red, her Sm wl's fL^AToind'ar";'' '"[°«« "-^^ "''«'• wLs fc 'h" ""^'^ h-o- sulking'™'' ^"^ '=•*- ^1-' ; •Twas not .h^cl^X^'f^fpousI """'-^jf f V , .She was among those busy wives Who h2Z f" 1°."^ ^ 1"'^' '""■se : And make amends for fading beauVvRvS"'"^^.""'™^'' *eir lives: ywas at this moment, wSf iSd ^ llf^ "1"*='"''= "^ '^eir duty The pious man his hands uprS ' Th„f & c"''" °'"'''"™ ^''^< To see her SI , Ltd Zrf" '^^^'''- u- And -^ace, with varyint stens ab„„. m*""- ''"'' ""'^ ^°'"='- "''"ing chair At first s^he-did'^P^tlnS: ™4" ^""^ =•"" "°^^ '"'-'"• But soon thil ^?^| ;1t'V4S ''^''?-r^° K-if '> „3,,„ ?L;s-ro?^!SbS£-^^"^^°""'""" S.down,my,„ 5, - ^^ do, and patient hear; It wm oblig^re^o tln^rot^^ '^r^r^^' . ThatifyouSyou;Toimre?sS'T™'^?\^^'"''"'^™"g''tn>e, New Vs wlllTc!;;rAeTv7^^^^^^^ --^-^ °f niine. ^':.''r™::g p!»'y. 9^™ the^sr"' Ann'rhl' "" ""'"P" '^'^'* shall dine, ; we II ^ut our Grizzle to a chair ; IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE, f While you, in silks and muslins fine, The grocer's wife shall far outshine. And neighb'ring folks be forc'd to own, In this fair town you give the ton " "S^- ^^^^ ^.^'" f ^^^ ^^^e smiling" dame, Tell me this golden road to fame : You charm my heart, you quite delight it."— XT n , ^ ^^ ,^ ^ TOUR— rt«^ //tai rU WRITE IT You well know what my pen can do, And I'll employ my pencil too •- I ride and write, and sketch -^nd print, And thus create a reVm^nT mt'W'Ti ^'^^ r•^^itthere,^ And ptctTreTguXjrt^T^ 1 11 do what all have done before ; I think I shall-and somcvWmnr.' At Doctor Pompous give a look ; He made his ?ortuTe by a SL And If my volume does not beat it, When I return, I'll fry 7nd ea° it' Next week the boys will all go home, ' And I shall have a month to come. ?i^/-?^°l?^^' ^">' ^''^s^^' ^y all prepare : While Ralph looks to the grizzle mare. " ' Tho wond'ring folks may laugh and scoff, A J 1. f y this day fortnight I'll be off, • And when old Time a month has run. Our business Lovev will hp ^nt,« I will m search of fortune roam. While you erjoy y'^SLt h^^^^^^^ The story told, the Doctor eas'd ^' . Of his grand plan, and Madam pleas'd. No pains were spar'd by night or day To set him forward on his way • She trimm'd his coat— she mended all ^ ' An^ K.*» *-n ^^"0"s clothing, great and small ; At length the lingering moment came ' T • Jr. S^^^ ^^^ d^w^ of wealth and fame Incurious Ralph, exact at four. Led Grizzle saddled, to the door • And soon, with more than common state, ' ' 1 he Doctor stood before the gate Behind him was his faithful wife ;'— Ti, t,- C)ne more embrace, my dearest'life 1" Then his grey palfry he bestrode, And gave a nod, and off he rode « &°?^/^'J?H; P°^ ^"^^ •'" she loudly cried, " r^/^/ (9 F^/^/" he replied. ' CANTO II. Whde Syntax, with his scheme besotted ' Ti,. rii ''^^?''.? ",'^, village gently trotted. The folks on daily labour bent, Whistled and caroll'd as they went • But as the Doctor pass'd alono-, ^ * Bow'd down their heads, and ceas'd their song. 8 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX He gravely nodded to the people ; Then looking upwards to the steeple. He thus, in mutt'ring tones express'dThe disappointments of his breast. ' That thankless parent, Mother Church, Has ever left me \\\ the lurch ; And while so many fools are seen To strut a Rector or a Dean, Who live m ease, and find good cheer On ev'ry day of ev'ry year So small her share of true discerning, ' She turn'd her back on all my learning. I've in my vineyard laboured hard, And wha: has been my lean reward ? I've dug the ground, while some rich Vicar Press'd the ripe grape, and drank the liquor ; I ve fed the flock, while others eat The mutton's nice delicious meat • I've kept the hive, and made the honey, ' While the drones pocketed the money. But now, on better things intent, On far more grateful labour bent New prospects open to my view : So, thankless Mother Church, adieu ''' Thus, having said his angry say. Syntax proceeded on his way. 1 he morning lark ascends on high, And with its music greets the sky - The blackbird whistles, and the thrush Warble^ his wild notes in the bush ; While ev'ry hedge and ev'ry tree Resound with vocal minstrelsy. But Syntax, wrapt in thought profound, Is deaf to each enliv'ning sound : Revolving many a golden scheme, And yielding to the pleasing dream The reins hung loosely from his hand ; * While Grizz'e, senseless of command, Unguided, pac'd the road along. Nor knew if it were right or wrong Through the deep vale, and up the hill, By rapid stream or tinkling rill! Grizzle her thoughtful master bore. Who, counting future treasure o'er. And, on his weighty projects bent, Observ'd not whither Grizzle went. Thus did kind Fancy's soothing power Cheat him of many a fleeting hour ; Nor did he know the pacing Sun Had half his daily circuit run. bweet, airy sprite, that can bestow A pleasing respite to our woe. That can corroding care beguile. And make the woe-worn face to smile ! But, ah ! too soon the vision passes, Confounded by a pack of asses ! The donkeys bray'd ; and lo ! the sound Awak'd him from his thought profound ; And as he star'd, and look'd around. He said—or else he seem'd to say— « I find that I have lost my way. Oh what a wide expanse I see. Without a wood, without a tree ; No one at hand, no house is near. To tell the way, or give good cheer • For now a sign would be a treat. To tell us we might drink and eat \ But sure there is not in my sight The sign of any living wight : And all around upon this common I see not either man or woman • Nor dogs to bark, nor cocks to crow. ' Nor sheep to bleat, nor herds to low': Nay, if these asses did not bray. And thus some signs of life betray, I well might think that I were hurl'd Into some sad, unpeopled world. ;an reward ? I!^ SEARCH OP THE PICTURESQUE. 9 How could I come, misguided wretch ! To where I cannot make a sketch ?" Thi .^<5 he ponder'd what to do, A guide post rose within his view • And, when the pleasing shape he spied, He prick'd his steed and thither hied ; But some unheeding, senseless wight, Who to fair learning ow'd a spite, Had ev'ry Ictter'd mark defac'd, Which once its several pointers grac'd. The mangled post thus long had stood. An uninforming piece of wood ; Like other guides, as some folks say, Who neither lead, nor tell the way. The Sun, as hot as he was bright, Had got to his meridian height : 'Twas sultry noon— for not a breath Of cooling zephyr f^mn'd the heath ; When Syntax cried—" Tis all in vain To find my way across the plain ; So here my fortune I will try, And wait till some one passes by : Upon that bank awhile I'll sit, And let poor Grizzle graze a bit • But, as my tmie shall not be lost, I'll make a drawing of the post • And, tho' a flimsy taste may flout it, ' There's somQthmg picturesque about it : 'Tis rude and rough, without a gloss. And is well cover'd o'er with moss ; And I've a right— (who dares deny it ?) To place yon group of asses by it. Aye ! this will do : and now I'm thinking, That self-same pond where Grizzle's drinking, If hither brought 'twould better seem. And faith I'll turn it to a stream : ril make this flat a shaggy ridge, And o'er the water throw a bridge : 1 11 do as other sketchers do- Put any thing into the view ; And any object recollect. To add a grace, and give efi-ect! Thus, though from truth I haply err, The scene preserves ils character. What man of taste my right will doubt, To put things in. or leave them out ? Tis more than right, it is a duty. If we consider landscape beauty : He neer will as an artist shine, Who copies Nature line by line : Whoe er from Nature takes a view. Must copy and improve it too. 1 heighten every work of art. Fancy should take an active part : Thus I (which few I think can boast) Have made a Landscape of a Post. " So far, so good — but no one passes, No living creature but these asses ; And, should I sit and hear them bray, I were as great a beast as they : bo 1 11 be off ; from yonder down I may, perhaos. descrv a town • Or some tali spire among the trees, ' ' May give my way-worn spirits ease." Grizzle again he soon bestrode, And wav'd his whip and off he rode • iiut all around was dingy green, No spire arose, no town was seen! 10 "^OVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX At length he rcach'd a beaten road : <:« «« 1 - °^^ ^^'■'^^ ^ joy ^he sight bestow'd « so „„ .. ^^f^^^^^ ^^ ^ ,,, , ,,,^ „,^^ And cool'd the air beneath the shade. Oh ! what a change, how great the treat. Bnt nl, I l.n Vt""- "? ^^^"^ ^^°'" sultry heat ! 13ut ah I how false is human joy ! When least we fl^mt .> ;ii For now with fie/ce'impetuous rush ' ' ^""°^ ' Three ruffians issued from a bush ; Poor S . ^^^^^^^^ S . Andgivcsliispurse with all its treasinr Feanng, howe'cr, the Doctor's view M.Vht 1 n>-i' The cunning robbers wisely counted ^""^"^ '"^ ^"''^"^ ' And still tlJt'h wo^dd'sTfe'b'e^'^"^' '^ 1?^"'"^"^^ . . Thus to a tree theyVickly bo Jnd him 7 '"'"^' ^° ^ ^"^• The crife cords went round and round him • And, havnig of all power bereft him, ' They tied him fast-and then they left him. CANTO III. T ^u-*^^ ^°^^ s^^^' 'Within the wood, in this sad state poor Syntax stood • His noise the robbers might recall : ' ihe villains might again surround him, Sure never ^^^IT&^I^^' ''''\ ^^^ ^--^ l^-- Nor was th^ all ; hisf a^^ Sare, uJ^slS^b^y^^^^^c^^^^^^^^ •' For when the sturdy robbers took him ^''"' ' The ,-n«..f li""^ """"^ P^"""^^ '^oth forsook him. ' 1 he insect world were on the wing, Whose talent k f ^ k And soon his bare-wor^n' h'ad theyt^^^^^^^ ^""^ ""^ '''^^ ' Anddugth^il^SniS^rtfr^^^ / ' He rag'd and roai!^%ut all in v^if '^^ *^^^"^^ ^^^^^ ^^-^ No means he found to ease his paiA • Ihe cords, which to the tree had tied him. All help from either hand denied him ' He shook his head, he writh'd his face' With painful look, with sad grimace. And thus he Qn/^l'o hio l,„„i„__ -^ .' Ah ! miserable man " he crierl " wi^f ,, -i j In this sad melancholy state. ' ivK^'t ^°i "^y. ^^"rse betide ; ' ^^^"st 1, alas, impatient wait, INSEARCI/ OF THE PICTURESQUE. It Till some kind soul shall haply find me Mov T»i, ^"^'^'^^^ his friendly hands unbind me? Nay, I throughout the n.ght may stay, Tis such an unfrequented way : I ho what with hunger, thirst and fright, ^ ^ ,, J necr shall last throughout the nieht- And could I e'en these ills survive The flies will cat me up alive. What mad ambition made me roam • ^ Ah ! wherefore did I quit my home I I or there I liv'd remote from harm • An^ *i 1 7 "^^^^^ '''^'"^ ^'^°'^' ^"y house was warm • YetVhad ti^TLn^voH^^ strife With other ills 'that trouble life, Fate would have signed my long release, ^ * And Syntax would have died inVace : Nor thus been robb'd, and tied and beaten, - And ail alive by insects eaten." But while he thus at P\atc was railing. And fortune's angry frown bewailing- A dog's approaching bark he hears*; Twas sweet as music to his ears ; And soon a sure relief appears. J oj"? tho' it bore that gen'ral form, Which oft at home, foretold a storm. It now appeal d an angel's shape That promis'd him a quick escape : IS or did La Mancha's val'rous Knight ^ f^ • ^X7U , , greater pleasure at the sight, ' When overwhelm'd with love and nw*^ h;^ r> i • /• . , ?- -/wo trotting palfreyrc^mt Tnd eac^ L^'bteTcomdy dam" : They started as his form they view ; The horses also fflt^o : The dog with insult sccm'd to treat him. And look'd as if lie long'd to eat him. In piteous tones he humbly pray'd \xTu ^ They'd turn aside, and give him aid • When each leap'd quickly from her steed, To join in charitable deed, rhey drew their knives to cut the noose, "^'"''^'^ '^^^^ And let the mournful pris'ner loose : With kindest words his fate bewail, While grateful Syntax tells his tale. The rustic matrons sooth his grief. Nor offer, but afford relief • And, turning from the beaten road, * Their well-lin'd panniers they unload : When soon upon the bank appear'd A sight his fainting spirits cheer'd ; They spread the fare with cheerful grace And gave a banquet to the place. Most haply, too, as they untied him, lie saw h\r,A ,,;„ U„„:j_ 1. • bo, thus bewigg'd and thus behatted, \xTu t. 1°.^" on the grass the Doctor squatted • When he uphfted either eye, With |rate?ul accents to the sky. If TOUR OP DOCTOR SYNTAX " 'TIs thus," he humbly said, " we read 'n sacred books of heavenly deed : And thus. I find, in my distress, The Manna of the Wilderness : 1 IS Hermit's fare ; but thanks to Heaven, And those kind souls, by whom 'tis given. " 'y ' huf that bread, and curds, and fruit, \ with tlu pious Hermits suit ; Eiut Syntax sur* ly was mistaken To think their meals partake of bacon ; Of that those reverenci men regale, As our good Doctors do-wlth ale • And these kmd dames, in nothing loth, , * Took care that he partook of both. At length 'was trnie to bid adieu, And each their diffreiwt way pursue : A kind farewell, a kiss . j kind, He gave them both with heart and mind ; Then off he trudg'd, and, as he walk'd, Thus to himself the Parson talk'd. ♦ Tis well, I think it is no worse, For I have only lost my purse : With all their cruelty and pains, /puisc. The rogues have got but trifling gains ; Poor four-and-four-pence is the measure Of all their mighty pilfer'd treasure ; For haply there was no divining I'd a snug pocket in my lining ; And, thanks to Spousy, every note Was well sew'd up within my coat But where is Grizzle ?— Never mind her ; I'll have her cried, and soon shall find her " Thus he pursued the winding ^yay, Big with the evils of the day : Though the good Doctor kept in view The favour of his blessings too Nor had he pac'd it half an hour Before he saw a par h tow'?' «n. .n?'i '• '"''^ 5°^? fatigue opprest, An Inn receiv'd him as i gues ' But still his mmd with anxious car-, Ponder'd upon his wand'ring mare • He therefore sent the Bell-man round, To seeif Grizzle might bf found' T n?Jw^VT''''^''\ '° her master. And careless of his foul di aster Left hmitied up, and took her way, In hopes to meet with corn or hay ' But, as that did not come to pass, She sought a meadow full of grass • The farmer in the meadow found her, ' And order'd John, his man, to pound her. Now John was one of those droll folk Who oft take mischief for a joke • And thought 'twould make the master stare '^"^ ^ J^'^^* When he again beheld his mare, ' (Perhaps the Gem'man might be shockt) * II ^^ ^""^ ^^^ ^^^^y ^^°Pt and dockt : At all events, he play'd his fun : No sooner was a s,- . ' m done But Grizzle was a patient beast. And minded noughl li .ue could fe-st- '(• " His Rev'rcnce prais'd the gulden rule, Nor c.U he let his victuals ccol : And, havii j^ drank his liquor out, He took a turn to look about ; When, to tne folks about the door, He told the dismal story o'or. The country-people on him gaz'd, And lieard his perils a 1 amaz'd : How the thic\x . twin'd the cords around him : How to a tree the villains bound him ! What angels came to his relief T( loose his bonds, and sooth his grief! His loss of cash, and what was worse, His saddle, saddle-bags, and horse. Thus as their rude attention hung Upon the wonderj ot his tongue, Lo ! Grizzle's alter'd form appears. With half its tail, and half its ears ! " Is there no law?" the Doctor cries : " Plenty," a Lawyer strait replies : " Employ me, and those thieves sliall swing On gallows-tree, in hempen-string : And, for the rogue, the law shall flea him, Who maim'd your horse, as now you see him." " No," quoth the Don, " your pardon pray ; I've had enough of thieves to-day : I've lost four shillings and a groat. But you would sti ip me of my coat ; And ears and tail won't fatten you. You'll want the head and carcase too." He chuckled a. he made the stroke, And all around cnjoy'd the joke : liut still it was a sorry sight To see the beast ii such a plight : Yet what could angry Syntax do? 'Twas all in vain to rrct and stew : His well stuff'd bags, with all their hoard Of sketching-tools, were safe restor'd ; The saddle too, which he had sought. For small reward was quickly brought ; He therefore thought it far more sage To stop his threats and check his rage ; So to the ostler's faithful care He gave his mutilated mare : And while poor Grizzle, free from danger, Cropp'd the full rack and clcan'd the manger, Syntax, to ease his aching head, Smok'd out his pipe, and ^\ jnt to bed. CANTO IV. Bless'd be the man, said he of yore Who Quixote's lance and target bore ! Bless'd be the man who first taught sleep Throughout our wearied frames to creep. And kindly gave to human woes The oblivious mantle of reno^e ! Hail . balmy power ! that canst repair The constant waste of human care ; To the sad heart afford relief. And give a respite to iti grief; '4 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Canst calm, through night's composing hours, I he thrcat'ning storm that daily low'rs : On the rude flint, the wretched cheer, And to a smile transform the tear! Thus wrapt in slumber Syntax lay- Forgot the troubles of the day • bo sound his sleep, so sweet his rest, By no disturbing dreams distrest • That, all at case, he lay entranc'd. Till the fair morn was far advanc'd At length the hostess thought it wrong He should be left to sleep so long ; l°.r i "'^'f^ 1^^ ^l^ ^^^ ^''^^^'^ '^^^^^t breakfast was prepai-'d below. Betty then op d the chamber door And tripping onwards 'cross the floor Undrew the curtains, one by one ; When in a most car-piercing tone' Such as would grace the London cries. She told him it was time to rise' 1 he noise his peaceful slumbers broke ; He gave a snort or two— and 'woke. Now, as the Doctor turn'd his head, Belty was court'sying by the bed •— a What brought you here, fair maid, I pray .?" A J t- . . ° **^^^ y°"' ^'^^^J how wears the day ; T^h 1 fn ' V'm"'^ ^Pf ^^""^ '^^''^ "^o get yo"^ Worship's morning fare The kettle boils and I can boast No small renown for making toS There's coffee. Sir pd tea and meat. And surely you mustwant to eat- a or ten long hours have pass'd away Since down upon this bed you lav ''' Ihe Doctor rubb'd his op'ning eyes, * T5 . r, . "^M^^ stretch'd his arms, and 'gan to rise : But Betty stiU demurely stands. To hear him utter his commands. Be gone," he cried, " get something nice, And ril be with you in a trice," Behold him then, renew'd by rest, , His chin well shav'd, his peruke dress'd, Conning with solemn air the news. His welcome breakfast to amuse And when the well-fed meal was o'er, Grizzle was order'd to the door ' Be ty was also told to say. The mighty sum there was to pav •' Betty, obedient to his will, Her court'sy makes, and brings the^bil]; Down the long page he cast his eye, « -itTi- . . T ^? ^h'^°^^ h^^ ^^'^^^ and heav'd a sigh, Wwi • T ^ ^a'''^\ '"H."^""'^' ^ S«' In all I 'meet to find a foe ? Where er I wander t^be cheated, To be bamboozled and ill-treated •'' Wh".^; ^c,' ^'? ''f ^ '^'^' ''7" °'"^' ^^^^ h°^te^^ «P'd the par our door; When Syntax 'rose in solemn state. And thus began the fierce debate! SYNTAX.— Good woman ; here, vour bill retak^^, T ij And prithee, some abatement make ; LTthouai^''tu "''"""^if ''^°'^'. ^^^^'^ I ^ Bishop or a Lord : And though I ho d myself as good As any of my brotherhood, Howe er, by bounteous Fortune crown'd, In wealth and honours they abound : It is not m my power to pay Such long drawn bills as well as thev Jnr ^IT f\ "'" T'^^ ''i^^'^^' '- I ^«rely do not read i?r glT- For at the bottorn here, I^ see Th' enormous total-one pound, thrfe » ^^ Hosi ESb.— " The charges all are fairly made j *i you vviu cat, I must be paid. My bills have never found reproaches prom Lords and Ladies in their coaches. ormthe tear! es of the day; ams distrest ; far advanc'd. Jpar'd below. OSS the floor, iercing tone, time to rise. y the bed :— lorning fare, making toast, want to eat; ledyoulay!" comniands. it to amuse, 3 the door : .'as to pay ; igs the biU. find a foe ? 1-treated !" lour door ; rce debate, ike, )r a Lord : Jtherhood, jll as they, d it right : id, three!" IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. JC This house that's cali'd the Royal Crown Js the first Inn throughout the town : * he best of gentry, ev'ry day, Become my guests and freely pav • esides, I took you in at night. Half-dead with hunger and aK^t* Just 'scap'd from robbers." ^ 'inricHt, Syntax. •' That's most true," And now I'm to be robJD'd by you." Hostess.—" Sir, you mistake ; and did not I Disdam rude words, I'd say—you he. I took you in last-night, I say." Syntax.-" Tis true ;-and if this bill I pay You 11 take me in again to-dav." Hostess.—" I gave you all my choicest cheer, I he best of meat, the best of beer ; Id then you snored yourself to rest In the best bed-I say the best YouVe had such tea as few can boast, ^ With a whole loaf turn'd into toast." V '^^f'^^^'~^ ^"^ ^°'' y°"^ b^^^' -"fi beer, and tea. You kindly charge me— one pound three !" Hostess.— "Tis cheap as dirt— for well I know [ J T r y ^"^"^^ ^^^^ country Curates go : Lnd I profess that I am loth To deal unkindly with the cloth • l^ay, oft and oft, as Pm a sinner IVe given (ungry ClerksT inner." SYNTAX — And there's a proverb, as they sav, W71,- 1. r * ^°^ ^^^ Ql^xV'^ the Parsons pay ; . Which you, I trow, can well fulfil. Whene'er you make a Parson's bill Why one pound three, the truth I speak. Would keep my household for a week Dear Mrs. Syntax, how she'd vapour Where she to read this curious paper '" Hostess.-" If that's your living, on my life, You starve your servants, and your wife." Syntax.— " I vyish my wife were here to meet you. {P,.yo"r own fashion she would greet you : ' With looks as fierce, and voice as shrill. She d make you, mistress, change your bill." TT.. ?fi™^^'7"'^\"''^ y°" besides, there's nought to pay For all your horse's corn and hay.? ^ ^^ And ointments too, to cure the ail Of her cropp'd ears and mangled tail ?" Whr.K^J^^'iT,"!'^''^,*^^ "^^S^^ ^o'^^'^ bring the shears trsA ' . ^^\c^ dock'd that tail and cropp'd those eJrs Lt I'm fnT.'?.^!f^^"?'"''^'"JrP^?P^^^^^ bill ! ut, Im in ha. e to get away. Though one pound three I will not pay So, f you'll take one one-hrlf th' amount, ^ ^ We 11 quickly settle the account, .era ., your monkey, do^you^see f_ _ _^ And let us part in Charity." r>W> 'T^.il, as a i^iiurituoie aecG- 1 11 e en consent— so mount your steed, Andonyourjourney strait proceed: •ut well yo^ know, where'er you roam, That Charity begins at home." i6 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX CANTO V. The Doctor smil'd, the bill was paid, The hostess left him to the maid ; When Betty stood in humble guise, With expectation m ber eyes. That he was surely so good-hearted, To give her .omething e'er thfey parted. Now, Nature, in her wanton freaks, Had given Betty rosy cheeks ; And caus'd her raven locks to break In native ringlets on her neck ; The roving bee might wish to sip The sweetness of her pouting lip : So red, so tempting to the view, 'Twas what the Doctor long'd to do. *^ You're a nice girl," he smiling said. " Am I ?" replied the simp'ring maid. " I swear you are, and if you're willing To give a kiss, I'll give a shilling." " If 'tis the same thing. Sir, to you. Make the gilt two-fold, and take two." He grimly grinn'd, with inward pleasure, AAd instant seiz'd the purchas'd treasure. " Your lips, my dear, are sweet as honey : So one smack more — and there's your money.** This charming ceremony o'er. The Parson strutted to the door ; Where his poor wounded mare appears In cruel state of tail and ears. The neighbours all impatient wait To see him issue through the gaic ; For country-town or village-green. Had seldom such a figure seen. Labour stood still to see him pass. While ev'ry lad and ev'ry lass Ran forward to enjoy the feast. To jeer the Sage, and mourn the beast. But one and all aloud declare 'Twas a fit sight for country-fair ; | Far better than a dancing bear. At length, escap'd from all the noise Of women, men, and girls and boys. In the recesses of a lane He thus gave utt'rance to his pain,] " It seems to be my luckless case At ev'ry point, in ev'ry place,] To meet with trouble and disgrace. But yesterday I left my home. In search of fancied wealth to roam ;| And nought, I think, but ills betide me : Sure some foul spirit runs beside me ; Some blasting demon from the east, A deadly foe to man and beast, That loves to riot in disaster. And plague alike both horse and master.! Grizzle, who full five years, and more, A trumpeter in triumph bore ;j Who had in hard-fought battle been. And many a bloody conflict seen ;] Who, having 'scap'd with scarce a scar, 'Mid all the angry threats of war ; When her best days are almost past. Feels these ignoble wounds at lastj All ! whaf rnn fhv fnnH masfpr rln. He's cut and slash'd as well as you ! But, though no more with housing gay, And prancing step you take your wa) ; TN SEARCH 0> -TSTff PICTURESQUE. 17 tation in ber eyes^ t for country-fair ; l 1 wealth to roam; lie wounds at lasU >', >vith your stately rider, lead The armed troop to warlike deed * ^hile you've a leg you ne'er shall cease To bear the minister of peace' Long have you borne him nor e'er grumbled Nor ever started, kick'd or stumbled." ' But mildest natures sometimes err From the strict rules of character ^ The tim'rous bird defends its young. And beasts will kick when they are stung. *Twas burning hot, and host orflies, With venom'd stings, around them rise : They seiz'd on Grizzle's wounded part, Who straight began to snort and start ; ick'd up behind, rear'd up before. And play'd a dozen antics more * he Doctor coax'd, but all in vain, She snorted, kick'd, and rear'd ajrain • Alas !" said Syntax, " could I pop Just now, upon a blacksmith's shop, Whose cooling unguent would avail To save poor Grizzle's ears and tail !'* 'hen scarce had he his wishes spoke. Than he beheld a cloud of smoke hat from a forge appear'd to rise, And for a moment veil'd the skies' While the rude hammers to his ear, ' Proclaim'd the aid he wish'd was near. ;y the way-side the cottage rose. Around it many a willow erows Where Syntax, in a tone of grief, ^ * Shew'd Grizzle's wounds and pray'd relief, he sooty Galen soon appear'd. And with fair hopes the Doctor cheer'd " Trust me, good Sir, I've got a plaster, Will cure the beast of her disaster ; nd, while the dressing I prepare, With all becoming skill and care ou m that arbor may regale With a cool pipe and jug: of ale .• ve long a two-fold trade profess'd And med'cine sell for man and beast —Syntax now sought the cooling shade, * While Galen's dame the banquet made : She well knew how her guests to please And added meat, and bread, and cheese : Besides, she told the village-tale — Who came to drink her home-brew'd ale ; How that the laughter-loving Vicar Would sometimes walk to taste their liquor ; That their gay landlord was renown'd. For hunting fox, with horn and hound ; hat he'd a daughter passing fair ; Who was his Honour's only Feu- • But she was proud, nor could a 'Squire * Approach to tell his am'rous fire j lord alone, as it was said, She would receive into her bed hroughout the village, ev'ry name Became a subject for the dame \ And thus she play'd her chatt'ring part, Till Svntax thoncrht i> timp tr, cfa..f And now poor Grizzle re-appears, With plaster'd tail and plaster'd ears, hich thus cas'd up might well defy The sharpest sting of gnat or fly he Doctor havmg had his fill, Without a word dischar/d his biU- i8 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But, as it was the close of day, He trotted briskly on his way ; And, e'er the sun withdrew his Hght, An Inn receiv'd him for the uig'.v*. flis frame fatigu'd, his mind oppress'd, He tiff'd his punch, and went to rest. The morning came, when he arose In spirits from his calm repose ; And while the maid prepared the tea. He look'd abound the room to sec What story did the walls disclose, Of human joys, of human woes. The window quickly caught his eye. On whose clear panes he could descry The motley works of many a Muse : There was enough to pick and choose ; And, " Faith," said he, " I'll strive to hook Some of these lines into my book : For here there are both grave and witty, And some, I see, are rather pretty. From a small pocket in his coat He drew his tablets, — when he wrote Whate'er the pregnant panes possess'd ; And these choice lays among the rest. " If my fond breast were made of glass. And you could see what there doth pass, Kitty, my ever charming fair ■ You'd see your own sweet image there." " I once came here a free-booting. And on this fine manor went shooting, And if the 'Squire this truth denies. This glass shall tell the 'Squire — he lies." " Dolly's as fat as any sow. And, if I'm not mistaken, Dolly is well dispos'd, I trow, To trim her husband's bacon." " Dear Jenny, while your name I hear. No transient glow my bosom heats ; And when I meet your eye, my dear. My flutt'ring heart no longer beats. I dream, but I no longer find Your form still present to my view ; I wake, but now my vacant mind No longer waking dreams of you. I can find maids, in ev'ry rout. With smiles as false and forms as fine ; But you must hunt the world throughout. To find a heart as true as mine." ** I hither came down From fair London town With Lucy so mild and so kind ; But Lucy grew cool. And call'd me a fool, So I started and left her behind." But as he copied, quite delighted, All that the Muse had thus indited, A hungry dog, and prone to steal. Ran off with half his breakfast meal i While Dolly, ent'ring with a kettle. Was follow'd by a man of mettle, Who swore he'd have the promis'd kiss ; i And, as he seiz'd the melting bliss, i 'From the hot, ill-pois'd kettle's spout. The boiling stream came pouring out. Which drove the Doctor from the Muse By quickly filling both his shoes. skly on his way ; lim for the uiglvt. his calm repose ; d the room to see , of human woes. — when he wrote eet image there." mistaken, •band's bacon." sent lo my view ; g dreams of you. nd forms as fine ; n town fool, had thus indited, 5 breakfast meal ; a man of mettle, IN SEARCH OP THE PICTURESQUE. CANTO VI. »9 ^ What various evils man await. In this strange sublunirv ^t^f^ f No sooner is he cheer'd by joy. Than sorrows comefancl^Snnov • 4nd scarce his lips were op d to bless The transient gleam of happiness' Than some dark cloud obscures the sky "^PPmess, And grief's sad moisture fills the eye. Thus, while the Doctor smiling stole t, . , From the clear glass each witty scroll, Je felt, to interrupt the treat, The scalding torment in his feet • « Tn V^"n^T^T "^ ^«T ^'^ '•''""'"'. ^^^''^^ ^° skip,\nd jump, and dance" 1 ake off my shoes,' he raying cried, " And let my gliters be untied^' Wlien Dolly with a nimble hand, Instant obeyed the loud command • And, as he lolled upon the chair, His feet and ancles soon vrr^bare Au-ay th' impatient damsel run. To cure the mischief she S done : And quick return'd with liquid store. To rub his feet and ancles o'er- Nor was the tender office vain ; It soon assuag'd the bumfngpain' A tear was seen on Dolly's cheek : ^ ourmng pain. Who sigh'd as if her heart would break. •'Be not, my girl, with care oppress'd ; I m now," says Syntax, " quite at rest : My anger s vanish'd with the pain ; No more, my dear shall I romnl«,-n Thus did he Dolly's care beguile. And turn'd her tears imo a smile But, while she cool'd the raging part. She somehow warm'd the Doctor's heart • And, as she rubb'd the ointment in, * He pinch'd her cheeks and chuck'd her chin • And, when she had redress'd his shanks. He with a kiss bestow'd his thanks : While gentle Dolly, nothing loth, « T ,w ^ » ^Pfsenting smil'd, and took them both. I hink, said she, " you'd better stay. Nor travel further on to-dav •" Now u„dis...b;d, he took htway, And^rlveM^SX'c osfo'f I^i" D.ignfromyo„r„£,i„g.orecfeTheti',i;^etes^|;i?^^^^^^^^^^ Hail ! sacred, ever-honoured shades ^ Where oft I woo'd th' immortal maids ; Where strolling oft, at break of day, ^ . My feet have brush'd the dews away ' Isis and by Chenvell stream. How oft I wove the clasmV ilr^nm sought the Cloisters dim, to meet Pale science liKon?ret?ea^ le sight of you again insoires M.r k^c^„, ,..!:l !. i-^"^ reti eat ! .el againthe genial glow That^akes^me^hi^^lc:;^^^^^ ' And all my aching heart could tell, ^ ® S)mce last I bid these scenes farewell." dd TOUR OF DOCTOR SVmWTAX Thus Syntax moved in sober pace, Beset with academic grace ; While Grizzle bore him up the town, And at the Mitre set him down. , The night was pass'd in sound repose, And as the clock struck nine he 'rose. The barber now applies his art, To shave him clean, and make him smart : From him he learn'd that Dickey Be?id, His early academic friend, As a re\vard for all his knowfedge, Was made the Provost of his College ; And fame declar'd that he had clear At least twelve hundred pounds a year. " O ho !" says Syntax, " if that's true, I cannot surely better do Than further progress to delay. And with Friend Dickey pass a day. " Away he hied, and soon he found him. With all his many comforts round him. The Provost hail'd the happy meeting, And after kind and mutual greeting. To make enquiries he began ; — And thus the conversation ran, Provost.—" Good Doctor Syntax, I rejoice Once more to hear your well-known voice ; To dine witli us I hope you'll stay. And share a College feast to-day, Full many a year is gone and past Since we beheld each other last ; Fortune has kindly dealt with me. As you, my friend, may plainly see ; And pray how has she dealt with thee ?" Syntax.—" Alas ! alas ! Pve played the fool ; I took a wife, and keep a school ; And while on dainties you are fed, I scarce get butter to my bread.' Provost. — " For my part, I have never married, And grieve to hear your plans miscarried : I hope then my old worthy friend. Your visit here your fate will mend, My services you may command ; I offer them with heart and hand ; And while you think it right to stay. You'll make this house your home I pray." Syntax. — " Pm going further, on a scheme, Which you may think an idle dream ; At the fain'd Lakes to take a look. And of my Journey make a Book^ Provost.— "I know full well that you have store Of modern as of classic lore : And, surely, with your weight of learning, And all your critical discerning, You might produce a work of name, To fill your purse and give you fame, How oft have we together sought Whate'er the ancient sages taught !"| Syntax. — " I now perceive that all your knowledge 1 Is pent, my friend, within your college ! Learning's become a very bore — That fashion long since has been o'er.; j A Bookseller may keep his carriage, V And ask ten thousand pounds in marriage ; May have his mansion in a square, And build a house for countryair ; And yet 'tis odds the fellow knows If Horace wrote in verse or prosCi li academic grace ; ^itre set him down. IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 21 )uld Dr. Grey in chariot ride, ' he did not contrive to cook, flippant, flashy, flow'ry style, '^ith every other leaf, a print iy academic friend, J lOt surely better do lickey pass a daj-." And take each day his wine beside. Each year, his Tour into a book ; A lazy morning to beguile ; , . , ' , - ^ / ^ - Of some fine view in rt-^/m //>//' ; ich IS the book I mean to make And I've no doubt the work will take . For though your wisdom may decry it. The simple folk will surely buy it. will allow it is but trash. But then it furnishes the cash." Provost.—" Why things are not the same, I fear, As when we both were scholars hcie ; lut still I doubt not your success, And wish you ev'ry happiness • lyse f, and my whole College tribe Depend upon it will subscribe " *j i^^" ^^'^ ^^'^ ^^&^" ^^ <^^" To dinner, in the college-hall* • Mor did the guests delay to meet, Lur'd by the bounty of the treat! The formal salutations over, ^ _ Each drew his chair and seized his cover ; The Provost, in collegiate pride, Plac'd Doctor Syntax by his side • And soon they heard the hurrying feet ' Of those that bore the smoking meat. d each other last' l^n^ h. fJ^f),^^'^^' ^" • ^Pf^.^'-; ^'^^ ^" '^^'^ ^^"' ^eef in the rear ; a each other last , But he who the procession led. By some false step or awkward tread ©r cursd by some malignant pow'r. Fell headlong on the marble floor ^«i, heedless wight ! ah, hapless dish ! Ah ! all the luxury of fish ' Mhus in a moment spoil'd and wasted ; Ah ! never, never to be tasted • But one false step begets another. So they all tumbled one o'er t'other • And now the pavement was bestrew'd * With roast and boil'd, and fried and stew'd. The waiters squall'd, their backs bespatter'd With scalding sauce ; the dishes clatter'd In various discord ; while the brawl Re-echo'd through th' astonish'd hall. "Well," said a Don, " as Pm a sinner, We must go elsewhere for a dinner." "'Tis no such thing," the /T^^rt^ replied, You all shall soon be satisfied : We are but ten : and sure there's plenty ; I order'd full enough for twenty. I see, my friends, the haunch unspoil'd, ^ With chickens roast, and turkey boil'd ; le ven son pasty is secure. The marrow puddings safe and sure j With ham, and many good things more. And tarts, and custards, full a score. Sure, here's enough to cut and carve ; To-day, I think, we shall not starve : But still Pll make the boobies pay ^ For the good things they've thrown away." Jjius trxy eye was quickly cheer'd Wi ' " ' ' eat, and drank, they si round the college-garden wal'k'd ^: :he time came (for time will fly) n Syntax was to say—" good bye. I conversation ran ejoice e; ollege feast to-day, he fool ; tter to my bread.' r married, • >ur fate will mend I heart and hand : leme, 'ey make a Book. have store nt sages taught .'"j r knowledge nee has been o'er, e for countryair ; in verse or prose, ^11 aJ the piL-nty that appeard 5 «^ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX His tongue could scarce his feeling tell, Could scarce pronounce the word, '* farewell T The Provost too, whose gen'rous heart In those same feelings bore a part, Told him, when he should want a friend, To write, or come, to Dickey Bend. Next morning, at an early hour, Syntax proceeded on his Tour ; And, as he saunter'd on his way. The scene of many a youthful day, He thought 'twould give his book an air, If Oxford were well painted there ; And, as he curi )us look'd around. He saw a spot of rising ground, From whence the turrets of the city Would make a picture very pretty j 'vVhere Radcliff^s dome would intervene, And MagdUen tower crown the scene. So Grizzle to a hedge he tied. And onward then impatient hied : j But, as he sought to chuse a part Where he might best display his art,i A wicked bull no sooner view'd him. Than loud he roar'd, and straignt pursu'd him. The Doctor finding danger near, Flew swiftly on the wings of fear, | And nimbly clamber'd up a tree. That gave him full security ; But as he ran to save his bacon. By hat and wig he was forsaken ;| His sketch-book too, he left behind, A prey to the unlucky wind :l While Grizzle, startled by the rout. Broke from the hedge, and pranc'd about. Syntax, still trembling with affright, Clung to the tree with all his might ; He call'd for help — and help was near, For dogs, and men, and boys appear ; So that his foe was forc'd to yield. And leave him master of the field. I No more of roaring bulls afraid. He left the tree's protecting shade ;| And as he pac'd the meadow round, His hat, his wig, his book he found. " Come, my old girl'," the Doctor said ; The faithful steed the call obey'd. So Grizzle once more he bestrode, Nor look'd behind— but off he rodeJ CANTO VIL Fix'd in cogitation deep, Adown the hill and up the steepj Along the moor and through the wood, Syntax his pensive way pursu'd : And now his thoughts began to roam To the good woman left at home;| How she employ'd the passing day When her fond mate was far away; For they possess'd, with all their pother, A sneaking kindness for each other. Proud of her husband's stock of learning, xuxb ciubbio biviix unci (-iccp ciisccnung, No tongue she suffer'd to dethrone His fond importance— but her own. Besides, she was a very bee In bustle and in i "strj'j rN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. •3 ^ell 1" ided on his Tour ; ly a youthful day, : of rising ground, icture very pretty j n impatient hied : jst display his art, him. the wings of fear, him full security ; he was forsaken ; . lie unlucky wind :j laster of the field, irotecting shade ; —but off he rode, md up the steep,! nan left at home it Lte was far away; and in indt^stry^ And though a pointed sting she bore, That sometimes made the Doctor sore, She help'd to make the household thrive, And brought home honey to the hive, [e too had not forgot her charms, When first he took her to his arms • For, if report relates the truth, She was a beauty in her youth : ffhe charming Dolly was well known To be the toast of all the town ; And, though full many a year was gone Since this good dame was twenty-one, )he still retain'd the air and mien Of the nice girl she once had been. For these, and other charms beside. She was indeed the Doctor's pride ; Nay, he would sometimes on her gaze With the fond ^ooks of former days, Lnd whatsoe'er she did or said. He kept his silence and obcy'd Jesides his mmd he thus consol'd ; " Tis classical :o be a scold • •or, as the ancient tomes record, Zantippe's tongue was like a sword • )he was about my Dolly's age. And the known help-mate of a sage.' '. hus Socrates, in days of yore, The self-same persecution bore : lor shall I blush to share the fate Of one so good— of one so great." 'Twas now five days since they had parted. And he was ever tender-hearted : IfXVhene'er he heard the wretched sigh, He felt a Christian sympathy ; r or though he play'd che dcmi-god Among his boys, with rule and rod : What ! though he spoke in pompous phrase, And kept the vulgar in amaze ; Though self-important he would stride Along the Street with priestly pride ; Though his Strange figure would provoke The passing smile, the passing joke ; Among the high, or with the low. Syntax had never made a foe ; And, though the jest of all he knew, Yet, while they laugh'd they lov'd him too : No wr .der then, so far from home, * His head would shake, the sigh would come. ^^ii'^^^^e^iSently on his way, Till the sun mark'd declining day. But Thought as well as grief is dry. And, lo ! a friendly cot was nigh. Whose sign, high dangling m the air, Invites the trav'ller to repSir \\ here Ae m comfort may regale, With cooling pipe and foaming ale! i 1 he Doctor gave the loud command. And sees the Host beside him stand ; Then quits his steed with usual state, And passes through the wicket-gate ; The Hostess opes the wiUing door, iiri.- 1- 1- ^^^ ^^^^ recounts the humble store Th. i^n^^"" P°°' ''^"f -^"^ ^°"^^ ^^^'^' ^"^ Pl^^^ "Pon the frugal board. Ihe home-spun napkin soon was laid. The table all its ware dir^nlnvVl • liie weii-broiid rasher then appear'd, ' ' ~ ' And with fresh eggs his stomach cheer'd ; The crusty pye, with apples lin'd, Sweeten'd the feast on which he din'd, ' u TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Then to his pipe he kindly took AnT,!'?,l ''"i' '" ^'^'l " "•'^*' i Call'd on th/jostess .c'r^lfwha. ^"s^'CX":^^-!"^^.^'': And to whose office it was given ' To teach them all the way to Heav'n. Hostess.— "The land belongs to 'Squire Bountv No better man lives in the county. county, I wish the Rector were the same ; One Doctor Squees'em is his name • But we ne'er see him— more's the shame 1 And while in wealth he cuts and carves. The worthy Curate prays and starves " SYNTAX.-" I truly wish that he were here 10 take a pipe and share my beer : 1 know what 'tis as well as he t« L te as heUe, tU Curate came :-" ^ "^^^ ' "^^^^ ^^ '' This, this is he !" exclaim'd the dame, byntax his brother Parson greeted And begg'd him to be quickly seated • »T- °"^^ take a pipe, and taste the liquor. 1 IS good enough for any Vicar." Curate.-" Alas ! Sir, I'mno Vicar —I ,ir-v ,1 ^ound to an humble Curacy. ' ' But -^now.Sir I-.a.a„on,L, P^^^^^'^^^^X^}' •TilNaTuJSoS't: fX^n'r "'^ "^ "''''' '''"• And when the strong oppress the weak, ^ Justice, though blind, will always speak, xell me, ^^^ve you ex l^in'd your case, WitL due humihtv and grace >" The great and wealthy must be flatterd ' ^ ' T J o , ^y ^°^^ ^^'^^ P^'aise to be bespatter'd • Krs-J =k:'"=l4 -' - f " » - - fe AnTi\. • mT- ^^^^' ^^^ ^"^■^' ^^ humblest style. And prais'd his goodness all the while • ' I begg d, as things had grown so dear, * An^ oo T Z ^?^f ^^ P^y t^" poinds a year : And, as I now had children five, The finest little bairns alive While their poor, fond and faithful mother ' Would soon present me with another : And, as the living brought him, clear, TT ,j . .^ ^ thousand pounds a year. He d grant the favour I implore, Nor let me stnrvA «««« fi Syntax — « NnJi oi ^ 1 1 i V ^S^^^e upon threescoi-e." oYNiAX.— Now I should like without delav V.r T ..« ^?, ^^^' "^^^^ ^^^^^ "^^ "13" could say ; ^' ' "' ' ^"'' "^rfip'r^J^' «^,'''^"'^' ^^^^' y°" ^'^ "ot obtain your end " C JRATE.-" The postman soon a letter brought Which cost me six-pence and a groat • ''"^"^' vas seen to foam, id so fair a treat ; descending look, name and state ,• Bounty, IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURFSQ. M, •5 an I never see." r)y family alive, like any Lord : of my betters." uffer pain, ty and grace?'' favour charm ; be your friend, ; style, le bairns alive, )n threescoi-e." ay, ain your end." ught, Nor can your friendly heart suggest The rudeness which the page cxpress'd. * Such suits as yours may well miscarry, For beggars should not dare to marry ; Ct least, for I will not deceive you, I never, never will lelieve you • nd if you trouble me, be sure You shall be ousted from the Cure ' But I shall now, good Sir, refrain. Because I know 'twould give you pain, rom telling all that in his spite. The arch old scoundrel chose to write • 1 or know, Sir, I'm a man of letters, And never will abuse my betters.'' Syntax.—" Zounds !~'tis enough to make one swear. Nor can I such a monster bear ; But, think, my friend, on that great day Of strict account, when he must pay For all his cruelty and lies : Then he shall sink, and you will rise." Curate.—" The terms, I own, are not quite civil, But he's the offspring of the devil ; And, when the day of life is past, He'll with his father dwell at "last • liut know, Sir, I'm a man of letters. And ne'er wish evil to my betters'' 'Twas thus they talk'd and drank their ale, Till the dim shades of eve prevail ; When Syntax settled each demand : And, while he held the Curate's hand, Bid him be stout, and not despair, " The poor are God's peculiar care- You re not the only one, my friend, Who has with evil to contend ' Resign yourself to what is given : Be good, and leave the rest to Heaven." Syntax, we've said, was tender hearted ; He dropp'd a tear, and then departed. The evening lower'd,— a drizzly rain Had spread a mist o'er all the plain ; lesides, the home-brew'd beer began To prey upon the inward man ; ■nd Syntax, muddled, did not know Or where he was, or where to go n active horseman by him trotted. And Syntax was not so besotted ut he could hiccup out " My friend. Do tell me, if this way will tend To bring me to some place of rest.?" ' " Yes," 'twas replied—" the very best fall our inns within a mile, Will soon yoor weariness beguile." Who should this be but 'Squire Bounty^ So much belov'd throughout the county, lid he resolv'd, by way of jest. To have the Parson for his g.iest • o on he gallopp'd, to prepare His people for the friendly snare he Doctor came m tipsy state ; The 'Squire receiv'd him at the gate, nd to a parlour led him straight ; Then plac'd him in an easy chair And ask'd to know his pleasure there. A ^7Yn?;~"^^^^^°''^' ^'"^ sadly splash'd with mire ^ And chiU'd with rain, so light a fire : na teii tne Ustler to take care Of that good beast, my Grizzle mare • nd what your larder can afford Pray place it quickly on the bS'^ SQUIRE.— "We've butcher's meat, of ev'ry kind • But, if that is not to your mind, ' •^ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX There's poultry, Sir, and if you please. Our cook excels in fricassees." Syntax. — ** 'Tell me, my honest friend, I pray, What kind of fowl or fish are they ? Besides, my very civil Host, I wish to know what they will cost; For a poor Parson can't afford To live on dainties like a lord." 'Squire. — '* The Clergy, Sir, when here they stay, Are never, never ask'd to pay : I love the Church, and, for its sake, I ne'er make bills or rcck'nings take ; Proud if its ministers receive The little that I have to give." Syntax. — " Why, then, my friend, you're never dtiii ; Your inn, I trow, is always full : — 'Tis a good rule, must be confest. But, though I blink, I see a jest." 'Squirk. — " No, Sir ; you sec the cloth i,3 laid. And not a farthing to be paid." Syntax. — " I find my head's not very clear ; My eyes see double too, I fear ; For all these things can never be Prcpar'd for such a guest as me : A banquet, it must be allow'd. Of which Olympus might be proud." Thus Syntax cat and drank his fill. Regardless of his morrow's biii ; He'rang the bell, and call'd the waiters, To rid him of his shoes and gaiters. " Go tell the maid to shew the bed, Where I may lay my aching head ; Here, take my wig and bring a cap ; My eye-lids languish for a nap : No court'sying, pray ; I want no fawning, For I shall break my jaws with yawning." Now Kitty, to adorn his crown. Brought him a night-cap of her own ; And, having put it on, she bound it With a pink ribbon round and round it. In this fine guise was Syntax led Up the best stairs, and put to bed. Though mirth prevail'd the house throughout. Though it was all one revel rout, He heard it not, nor did he know The merriment he caus'd below j For, with fatigue and wine oppress'd. He grunted, groan'd, and went to rest. But when the sun in Thetis' lap Had taken out his usual nap, Syntax awoke, and looking 'round. The sight his senses quite confound. He saw that he had laid his head Within a fine-wrought silken bed : A gaudy carpet grac'd the floor And gilded mouldings deck'd the door, Nor did the mirror fail to show His own sweet form from top to toe. " If I," said he, " remember right, I was most lordly drunk last night : And, as the Tinker in the play Was taken, when dead drunk he lay, And made a Lord for half a day ; I think that some one has made free To play the self same trick with me : But I'll contrive to be possest Of this same secret when I am drest ; To find it out — I'll ring the bell ; The chamber-maid the truth may tell." She soon appear'd, and court'sying low : Requested his commands to know. — •• When and iiow did I come here i You'll be so good to say, my dear." " — You came last night, not very late. About the time the clock struck eight ; J in fricassees." pray, they will cost; cs like a lord." icy stay, cck'nings take; have to give." never dwll ; <, I see a jest." laid, r; I guest as me : ght be proud.'* morrow's bill ; ' aching head ; lish for a nap : :p of her own j ,nd put to bed. caus'd below ; his usual nap, uite confound. lit silken bed : jck'd the door, om top to toe. nk last night : drunk he lay, n I am drest ; | ruth may tell." 1 IN SEARCir OF THE PICTURESQUE, •7 ay, my dear." \ And I have heard the servants say, They thought that you had lost your way." " Inform mc, also, how you call This noble inn ?" "'Tis Welcome Hall:' " And pruy who have you in your house?" "We've 'Squirv.- < uunty and his spouse ; With Lady and Sir Wilh.'m Hearty, And, you, good Sir, may join the party : Indeed, Tai ordcr'd to request That you will be their morning guest.** [To quest ,jn more he did not stay, Hut bid the damsel shew the way. i O ! 'twas a vi, rypleasant meeting : The Landlord gave a hearty greeting, [And plac'd the Doctor in a chair, Between two Ladies, young and fair. Syntax, well-pleas'd began to prate. And all his history to relate;- [While mirth and laughter loud prevail. As he let forth the curious talc At length the 'Squire explain'd the joke ; When thus the Doctor quaintly spoke : — ** I beg, Sir, no excuse you'll make, Your merriment I kindly take ; And only wish the gods would give Such jesting cv'ry day I live." The Ladies press'd his longer stay. But Syntax said — he must away. So Grizzle soon her master bore, . Some new adventure to explore. CANTO VIII. Man is the care of Providence ; The errors to himself belong : Of Fortune's favours, or her spite. Some glitt'ring phantom in our view; We chace it as a real good : And each fond expectation dies ! " In ev'ry way, in ev'ry sense, And whensoe'er he goeth wrong, Nor do we alway judge aright How oft with pleasure we pursue Not rightly seen or understood. At length the air-born vision flies Sometimes the clouds appear to low'r. And threat misfortune's direful hour : We tremble at the approaching blast : Each hope is fled — we look aghast ; When lo ! the darkness disappears. The glowing sun all nature cheers ; The drooping heart again acquires Its former joys, its ibrmer fires. Last night I wander'd o'er the plain Through unknown ways and beating rain, Nor thought 'twould be my lot to fall On such an inn as Welcome Hall : Indeed with truth I cannot say When there I came I lost my way, For all was good, and nought to pay." Thus Syntax, with reflection fraught, Soliloquiz'd the moral thought ; While Grizzle, all alive and gay. Ambled along the ready way. Last night she found it no disaster To share the fortune of her master ; She, 'mong the finest hunters stood. And shar'd with them the choicest food : In a fine roomy stable plac'd, With ev'ry well-trimm'd clothing grac'd, Poor Grizzle was as fair a joke ' To all the merry stable-folkj As the good Doctor's self had been. To the kind gentry of the Inn. Enrapt in Contemplation's pow'r, Syntax forgot the fleeting hour ; Till looking round, he saw the sun Had past his bright meridian run. ^W 28 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX !| My honest Ud, perhaps you know, What distance I shall have to go Before my eager eyes may greet ^ ' borne place where I may drink and eat." Contmue, Master, o'er the Down, Tn i.co T .u- 1 soonyo"'n reach the neighb'ring town : In less, I thmk, than half an hour. You'll passV yonder lofty tow'r • Keep onward by the church-yard wall, ^ ' When you will see an house of call ; The sign's a Dragon— there you'll find Eatmg and drinking to your mind." Across the Down the Doctor went. And towards the Church his way he bent. rhus," Syntax said, "when man is hurl'd \\?^^'^ and downwards in the world • When some strong impulse makes him'stray And he, perhaps, has lost his way. The Church,— Religion's holy seat, T5 . 1, 1 , r^^ P'^^ ^° P^^c^ his wand'ring feet ! But, hark ! the aeath-bell's solemn toll Tells the departure of a soul • ^xn, ^} ^°"^^ "^^^' ^ chatty ghost, Or kickmg up a new-made grave, ^ ""^ ' r» u .• ^"^ ^^i:^^"ii"g forth some horrid stave ; Or burstmg from the hollow tomb. To tell of bloidy deeds to come • Or adverse skeletons embattling, ' With ghastly grins and bones a rattling ; Something to make the misses stare. And force upright their '^urly hair • To cause their pretty forms to shake, ^ ' A«^ .u . ^'^^}-% ^^^^"^ ^°"ht if they're awake : And thus to tonish folks present The Picturesque of Sentiment / liut tis, 1 fear, some hours too soon— tm 1 ,- 9^^°^^^ slumber all the afternoon : Thfnn^^n^'^*"'' '^' ^ • "^^^'^' ^ "^^y perchance pick up a sprite » ' ""^ wV -1 'r"°"!' ''^'^' ^°^^ °P'^ ^' °"^e the church-ylTgate- While Grizzle too thought fit to pass, ^ ^^' Who knew the taste of church-yard grass. Sir," cried the Sexton, " let me say /^ 1 a. ,. ^t y°" ""^"st t^^'e your mare away. Or else, believe me, I am bound Tn \f^^A h/,: ^,.;„i.i.. .. .t ,^r you do mistake my honest friend- ^'^^^ " "^' P"""^'' A r» , ^^ ^ ^°"^ ^""o^S that you intend -. A Parson's mare will claim right In a church-yard to take a bite he highway side ; istled as he went, shall have to go, 1 : nder lofty tow'r : rture of a soul ; 11 human cares, curious here; — ulchral ground, r for my book : ng of the dead. present state : murky cloud ; eeds to come ; eir curly hair ; ffSetit intent / c up a sprite." xh-yard gate; J tnc pound.^^ ' take a bite ; IN SEARCir OF THE PICTURESQUE. 29 And, as I come to meditate Among these signs of human fate I iDcg you will not make a riot, But let the poor beast feed in quiet " Ko more the conscious Sexton said. But urg'd his labours for the dead • M, While Syntax cull'd, with critic care, ' What the sad muse had written there. EPITAPHS. Here lies poor Thomas and his wife. Who led a pretty jarring life • kit all ,s ended do you see .? He holds his tongue, and so does she! If drugs and physic could but save Us mortals from the drearv erave [Tis known that I took full enough, Of the Apothecary's stuff! .0 have prolong'd life's busy feast To a full century at least • ut, spite of all the Doctor's skill, Of daily draught and nLhtlv ni l' ^ w S'- ^!if"'f ^% ^"""/'^ '''\'^^' ^ '"^^ ^^"t here at twenty-five! Withm this tomb a lover lies. Who fell an early sacrifice To Dolly's unrelenting eyes. For Dolly's charms poor Damon burn'd, ^ Disdain the cruel maid return'd : Jut, as she danc'd in May-day pride, Dolly fell down and Dolly died And now she lays by Damon's side. ' Je not hard-hearted then, ye fair ! Of Dolly's hapless fate beware ' ■ or sure you'd better go to bed. To one alive, than one who'^dead ' Beneath the sod the soldier sleeps. Whom cruel war refus'd to ioare • Reside his grave the maiden weeps. And Glory plants the laurel there* iHonour is he warrior's meed. Or spar'd to live, or doom'd o die • tWhet^er 'tis his lot to bleed, %r join the shout of Vctory ) Alike the laurel to the truly brave ; ^ "'J' > That binds the brow, or consecrates the grave. > Beneath this stone her ashes rest, . Whose memory fills my aching breast ! iShe s eeps unconscious of the tear That tells the tale of sorrow here • BJut still the hope allays my pain That we may live and love again ' jLove with a pure seraphic fire, That never, never shall exp!!^; Syntax the |^;^ton now address'd. As on his spade he lean'd to rest. ^ rr 1. v'T" We both, my friend, pursue one trade : I for the living, you the dead. ' P'or whom that grave do you prepare With such keen haste, and cheerful air?" Sexton.--" An' please your Rev'rence Lawyer Thrust ixT ,. . ^^^"^ ^^^''^^ "' ^'11 moulder here to dust • "^ ' Never before did I take measure Of any grave with half the pleasure • And when within this hole he's laid, pleasure , lt>n 1 ^'^^ ^^"^ *^^ e^^*^ ^osvn with my spade • I II take good care he shall not rise. Till summon'd to the last assize • I And, when he sues for Heaven's grace, ' I would not wish to take his place. He sei7 d the dishes, great and ^nall, The children's bread and milk, and all I The urchins cried, the mother pray'd, 30 TOUR OF DOCTOR Sl'-NTAX „ I begg'd his rigour might be stay'd Till I could on our Parson call, Who would engage to pay it all • But he disdain'd a Parson's word, ' And mock'd the suit which I preferr'd. He knew a better way to thrive ; To pay two pounds by taking five Bursting with rage, I knock'd him down, And broke the cruel rascal's crown ; For which in county-gaol I lay. Half-starving, many a bitter day ; But our good Parson brought rchef, And kindly sooth'd a mother's grief. He, while in prison I remain'd, My little family sustain'd : And when I was from durance free, Made me his Sexton, as you see. But Doctor Worthy, he is gone , You'll read his virtues on the stone 1 hat s pi .c;d aloft upon the wall, Wliere you may see the ivy crawl • Oh while his ashes rest below, He's gone where all the righteous go* I dug his grave with many a moan, And almost wish'd it were my own' I daily view the earthly bed, Where Death has laid his rev'rend head • And when I see a weed appear, I pluck it up, and shed a tear! The parish griev'd, for not an eye In all its large extent was dry Save one :— but such a kindly grace Ne'pr deck'd the Lawyers iron face. The aged wepta friend long known, The young a parent's loss bemoan: While we alas shall long deplore The bounteous patron of the poor" The Doctor heard, with tearful eye, The Sexton's grateful eulogy • Then sought the stone with gentle tread, As fearing to disturb the dead. And thus, in measur'd tones, he read • « For fifty years the Pastor trod The way commanded by his God ; For fifty years his flock he fed With that divine celestial bread Which nourishes the better part And fortifies man's faihng heart J?.u-r'u^' ^'^ liospitable door, Was ever open to the poor ;' While he was sought, for counsel sage. By ev'ry rank and ev'ry age! That counsel sage he always gave. To warn, to strengthen, and to save : He sought the sheep that went astray. And pointed out the better way • But while he with his smiles approv'd The virtue he so dearly 'ov'd* He did not spare the harsher part. To probe the ulcer to the heart • He sternly gave the wholesome pain ' That brought it back to health again. Thus, the commands of Heav'n his guide, He liv'd,— and then in peace he died." Syntax.—" Pray tell me, friend, who now succeeds This Pastor, fam'd for virtuous deeds .?" Sexton.—" A very worthy, pious man, Who does us all the good he can ; But he, good Sir, has got a wife j" Syntax.—" Who may perhaps disturb his life : A tongue sometimes engenders strife." Sexton. — " No : — she's a worthy woman too : But then thfv'vf -' *' ' ,. -' "» I think it is the will of Heav'n That they are bless'd with six or seven And then you will agree with me, That home's the scene of charity.' W SEARCH OP THE PICTURESQUE. 3* gage to pay it all ; nds by taking five. lany a bitter day j 2 family sustain'd ; >exton, as you see. irtues on the stone see the ivy crawl : 1 the righteous go. 'd it were my own. lis rev'rend head ; 3, and shed a tear, ^e extent was dry, ent's Joss bemoan: itron of the poor." s grateful ealogy : ided by his God ; ne celestial bread an's failing heart, open to the poor ; nk and ev'ry age. :hen, and to save : It the better way : le so dearly lov'd, leer to the heart ; ow succeeds his life ; n too ; nth six or seven ; scene of charity." j Syntax. — " Tis true ;— nor can your Parson preach A sounder doctrine than you teach. And now, good Sexton, let me ask, While you perfor \ your mortal task, As day J.nd night you frcquc; l tread The dreary mansions of the dead, If you, in very truth, can boast, That you have ever seen a ghost ?" Sexton.— "Your Rev'rence, no ; tho' some folks say That such things have been seen as they. Old women talk, in idle chat. Of ghosts and goblins, and all that, While, round the glimm'ring fire at night, They fill their hearers with affright. 'Tis said that Doctor Worthy walks, And up and down the church-yard stalks ; That often when the moon shines bright, His form appears all clad in white : ut to his soul it is not given To walk on earth— for that's in Heaven. 11 hours I have cross'd this place. And ne'er beheld a spirit's face.' )nce, I remember, late at night, I something saw, both large and white' Which made me stop, and made me stare, — But 'twas the Parson's grizzle mare. Buch things as these, I do believe, The foolish people oft deceive ; \nd then the parish gossips talk How witches dance, and spectres walk." Syntax. — " Your reasoning I much commend ; So fare you well, my honest friend, [f we act right we need not dread Either the living or the dead : . he spirit that disturbs our rest Is a bad conscience in our breast ; With that a man is doubly curst :" Sexton.—" That spirit haunted Lawyer Thrust:' Syntax. — " His race is run, his work is o'er — The wicked man can sin no more ; le's gone where justice will be done To all who live beneath the sun ; And though he wronged you when alive. Let not your vengeance thus survive : forgive him, now he's laid so low— Nor trample on a fallen foe. Once more farewell ! But ere we part. There's something that will cheer your heart." Sexton. — "Your rev'rence, 'twill be some time yet Ere I forgive;— but to forget — lo, no, for though I may forgive, I can't forget him while I live. For your good gift, kind Heaven I bless, And wish you health and happiness : thank my God, each coming day. For what he gives and takes away : And now I thank Him, good and just. That he has taken Lawyer ThnistP Syntax along the village pass'd. And to the Dragon came at last ; IVhere, as the shepherd-boy had said. There seem'd to be a busy trade • ■^nd, seated m an easy chair, He found that all he wish'd was there. -- ISf " 3« TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX CANTO IX. Along the varying road of Life, In calm content, in toil or „ , ^ rustics from their windows gaz'd. T'lIrT "°*' .u^ ^""'^ " ^'IP°'''^ ^° ^^^^' ^"t 'tis not time to loiter here • 1 11 change the scene and quick retire From flaming flash to Id chen fire' Nay, while rude Nature's threats prevail. ^ Ti.ir j-c„,^^ t' ^woe uic scorm in ioabt and ale." ssd he made a quick retreat, And in the kitchen '"^- -' n old woman t"' -'"'-'• '"' ■ Wi An Ac Ak Tha The And Synt; «Is( And Nor ( He p ¥teh men 7 '/ \th Ihas \tici tail ill I Whei the host What by the lightning she had lost I-^S£ARCU OP TUB PICTURESQUE. 33 ent, in toll or strife ; lets him on his wa\- Inn a place of rest? 5 fond delusions fed, ■i lys ; nn he finds a home. ind, :ind, ice he sees a smile ver, J a "";' » ""o fl':i5h her sow had struck And then dcclar'd that on the spite He sa?v fhi''' ''"'5 "'•''■'' ''" => "^me, Nay that so loud thfwinds ,ve?e jS^i^f "'"'=°^'' °" ^^^ : ^ He sw e that" Uting^'h'^toa.^d "P"" ""^ '^''-^-^^ 'ex. : ^.nd of 4''fla,^''/cZe%''^rrd t'"''^?™-'''' .t all aboSt^Sf 2'dfetS,'; ""•°"'^'' 'J'^ '>'in,hle Z^' While buttons, at least half a s-ore^ ™' ''">' "■""' '" '"''" : .0 Se.ton^rvThfSronaMn'''^ '''-"r f ^ ' . u , . Wi^^^ ^o the Doctor drawin said he, "? her'mu't stay'^t" at'tW/ "''^^^^^^^ -" alone, d this same Dragon, on my life; Tust h nf . .k 'T." P''^^^ the day : >r can I pass the morning better Thnn . • ^Y ^ ^^^^^ got a wife • ^ P-"s'd and sigh'd e'er hi begS, men^hlfj^th.^'f" "f' ^ ^^"-" ''My dearest Doll^-.Jull7ianyadav """^ ^^^'^^^ ^a"- From you and home lie been ^way^^ But though we thus are doomed tZari , Yo?cVe ever Present in mv hearf - hen^e; my prafrs to Heaven aZ At .n henderfor Heaven^ s care they sue' T "i '^f"^^'^ sacrifice, ' Journey, like Lif^, m.^.JJ. .A\. ,, J ^l^k it for my Dolly too, "i its e7J;7<: n*,^ V/„ "l r * n man joys ot woes, j 'y«... rcug rortune in my view Glad r f.7, ".7 '^^^«^^'^ the pain, iy^nofcar to make a book, In which f ""HT"' ^^''-^ ^''^^^^^Z ««|r' do I doubt will Prove a MiJp^' ^^'' "^^^'^^ "^^'^^ ^ikfto look ement open flew j^ f^^^^-nldaVfattJ^}^^^^^^^ l/hn/'f T/ r^^^^^' ^^'-^^ repay ' ^as engag'd to glad our 'home, IVith^romZ f^^^^f '^ of its pain, ^^^dars of what I've seen, Whatj ha /. -^ '"'''/' ^''"^ ^' '''"'' "rt ff^n^ -jy return: ^I^ t^lt":!.^^!- ^^--^Z- ^etariverseenr.'d; »-„7 ,, ^J "^««<. ^ ce seen, IV/iat r Iin-,^ a^ y i>'^"^<^^ tu come, .e to loiter here ; /^^^^^SlJf I^'' ^ '^r"^''^^:^^}J^i:^^: - - -r... ^.^v... .V ^;v6,e.,. y ..,,^ J^^^ ^ stranger: to run. T ^h^jt ^^7.^ ■Whatever risks'l'mf^/dP'^' '"''^ ^^^^ "^ stranger: r *K°\H',''^*' p//^^./. at home ihill keeb [nview 77^5/^'^'" ^^^" '2/^'^^^//^'5.r one ^ mg she had lost : n tny k,nd neighbours J commenTne'^^^^^^^^ ^/^^.^^.r two! ** *f^^'^^snes of ihetrdtstant friends 34 TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAJi I ( % Within tenjays, perhaps a week, J shall Yo^v^^ famous city seek Whereat the post I hope to find A line from Dolly, ever kind And tfyoit will the pleasure erown, Tell me the prattle hhur town] Of all that s passing and has past, Since your dear Hub beheld it last- And know the truth which I impart, The offspring of my honest heart I hat whereso^er I'm doomed to roam, I still shall find that Home is Home : That true to love and tiuptial vows, I shall remain your lovin'0" think this house your home,- Aye, though it were three months to come. Here you will find yourself at ease— Af n,'n« «,« J^l-'^y/cad or write-just as you please. At nine we breakfast, as you see- thinner is always here at three • At six my wife will give you tea " "cii, ui uirec, DI^Hv ?.f'''"'^-7"-^"'^ '^^"'^^ y°" fi"d the evening long, 1 )i play a tune and sing a son^." ^ "' SQUIRE HeaRTV.-" Besides, you'll range the country round, Your ^Pnin.. ^ """''^ll' ^'""S' "^^>' there be found : ^ Your genius too may chance to trace. Within this celebrated place Some ancient building worth a look, ^ ' ' T',„ o f Tj V ^ ""^y perhaps enrich your book. 1 o see theni all, m bright array, Act the fierce battle of the day If you should like such sights as these, ^* w.>n . .^. "^^'"hke feats your fancy please, S^ f Im nl.?Jr°?J'^' \"^"' ^"'^ I ^^y^elf will be your guide • So, If you please wuhin rn hour Our nags shall be befor^e the^doo .'^ SYNTAX.—" I will be ready to attend Ti,« 1. 11 J r? s"P"^ons of my worthy friend. E^e^n^Xn a' b^^o^'t "^rl'yte'^' '^'^^^ ^T^^ ^ '^^^Tr^"^^^^ How\he stou^ ^-^'eks, in times'of yore ""^"^'^ ^^'^^ ^^^' T r^v.iiM • -^I^^Sht havoc to the Phrygian shore : I revelld m that ancient story And burn'd with ardent love of glory. Whene'er I trac'd the Fields of Troy ^ ^ My heart beat high with martial joy. ris true, I pray that war may cease, v.. .-11 T c . Europe hail returning Peace ; i 1 et still I TPPI Vn\T 1-»/-vc?r»,>, ^1^... ^TTI. -r^ . . , . I When oiin"rmM'i«,^;'^r'' '''t" i • 5:^ "^n untisii heroes meet the foe; j lor IffSEARC/f OF THE PICTURESQUE. This grand review will give mc pleasure, 4» •cakfast of the day. 2 conversation ran. y may believe : my father's chair. ays here at three; the evening long, intry round, celebrated place, beer, and liberty ; n doomed to li\e. he military show, id review appear : ral is come down battle of the day.j 1 be your guide . before the door."] 1 helmet bright: >mer's lofty page nt love of glory. ;s meet the foe ; aim of Victory ; he Gallic shore. And 1 shall wait upon your leisure ' /ly itcarcst hiisbaud.—on vty fife "^ ^i^"Ku i r V ./ f ^ ^'[O'Ki^'ii you /lad/orLot your wife ^ /\o small advancement in your trade • 3 have iwdoubt that amil"\fai,n IVilt „. // "'*''-^'"' " ''"""' '" Koli ■or^M ,ny, carat Maui I LL, wfrf^f^, a'etZTlf;'^' ' on still must siirh that vou dmuhf /, . <.• . / -^ / compcll d to j(o, •truly say my Lrltn^rr'^^Uan^^^^^^ ^^"^ ^''^^'^^• hul that I may my Synta v in-ect 11// ir/ '^'^ J'^'^'^M your return ; ^heniillineriLoip%cv-tfA //^ff /ff/ ' w7^''^ ''/'"' ''' '''^^'^^• 'ust such an one as^I C'f^J ^ ^v^^^T'L '^f ""'^'"''^^ J^ here, by the skilful f>ainte,^s aid V,]; ^/^^ ^ ^^^^ Magazine, 1/ robe 0/ crape wk si iM^^^ ^s so ^ell display d\ m mantle tools all the ton ' ^X f/f T'^'f'/'^'^''^''-^'^''^^''^^^'-^-^ • >/< / with AjpiaZe aZilt, TshaH T ""'," ^' "'-^"' "' "■ '•• When you return brimfull of moneys ^Syntax exclain "d, in accents sadf * ■o ruin nil h;i'o-'''°"'"^ ' '!l'"'^y S:one stark mad ! o ruin, all her airs w ui tend • Rnf ini ^^ i t // Lj- , ^^^^^' '^^^^iborn has miscarried fas /»w.rf//';::f trs^r''' Trj" "'^i""""' -There is a UdyjJ conudown A'^t'ir" ''^/fy'"'i"-"""h drlnhs. WiltVl'earttlify'tn S' f^l/7 T '"'^^t ''!""'" '" ^"a.tj I Sh. ^^.C.'. L'r''' . H"" she lays on both red ami ,.,h.;i \o fare you ..//, ,ny dean-s't iife.-L And /..I^Stt^^'^^/j 4» TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX P.S. — *^ Btit if you fear thai you shall come Without a bag of money home, ^Twere better far that you should take A leap at once into the Lake: Td rather hcc - that you %vere drowned, Than that you should my hopes confound P* These tender lines did not impart Much comfort to the Doctor's heart ; He therefore thought it would be better, To lay aside this pretty letter ; Nor suffer its contents to sour The pleasure of the present hour. The 'Squire now became his guide, So off they trotted, side by side ; And, e'er they pass'd a mile or two, Beheld the scene of the review. The troops drawn up in proud array. An animating sight display ; The well-form'd squadrons wheel around, The standards wave, the trumpets sound, When Grizzle, long inur'd to war. And not without an honour'd scar. Found all her former spirits glow As when she used to meet the foe : No ears she prick'd, for she had none : Nor cock'd her tail, for that was gone : But still she snorted, foam'd, and flounc'd ; Then up she rear'd and off she bounc'd ; And, having play'd these pretty pranks, Dash'd all at once into the ranks! While Syntax, though unus'd to fear. Suspected that his end was near. But, though his courage 'gan to addle. He still stuck close upon his saddle ; While to the trumpets on the hill, Grizzle sped fast, and then stood still : With them she clos'd her warlike race, And took with pride her ancient place ; For Grizzle, as we've told before, Once to the wars a trumpet bore. At length recover'd from his fright. The Doctor stay'd and view'd the sight ; And then with heart as light as cork, He with his friends jogg'd back to York, Where was renew'd the friendly fare. And ev'ry comfort promis'd there. The time in chit-chat pass'd away. Till the chimes told the closing day: "And now," says pleasant Madam Hearty, " What think you if our little party Should each to sing a song agree ? 'Twill give a sweet variety, j Thus let the passing moments roll, Till Thomas brings the ev'ning bowl ; The Doctor, sure, will do his best And kindly grant my poor request." I The Doctor, though by nature grave. And rather form'd to tune a stave,! Whene'er he got a little mellow, Was a most merry pleasant fellow ; Would sing a song, or tell a riddle, Or play a hornpipe on the fiddle And, being now a little gay, Declar'd his wishes to obey, | " Then I'll begin," Squire Hearty said, " But though by land my tours are made, Whene'er I tunc a song or glee, I quit the land, and go to sea."' rr» ^r* l— r^ .— The signal given, we seek the main, Where tempests rage, and billows roar ; Nor know we if we e'er again Shall anchor on our native shore. | into the Lake: sweet variety. , f native shore. IN SEARCH OF THE PIC TURESQ VE. 43 ?ut,asthrough surgingwaves we sail, And distant seas and isles explore Hope whispers that some future gale Will waft us to our native shore' When battle rages all amain, And hostile arms their vengeance pour Ve British sailors will maintain The honour of our native shore' Jut, should we find a wat'ry grave, A nation will our loss deplore • Lnd tears will mingle with the wave That breaks upon our native shore* ^nd after many a battle won, When ev'ry toil and dann-er's o'er' low great the joy, each duty done, To anchor on our native shore ! Mrs. Hearty's Song. :UPID, away ! thy work is o'er : Go seek Idalia's flow'ry grove » Your pointed darts will pain no more ; Hymen has heal'd the wounds of Love. lYMEN is here, and all is rest ; To distant flight thy pinions move • No anxious doubts, no fears molest ; Hymen has sooth'd the pangs of Love. :UPID, away ! the deed is done ! Away, 'mid other scenes to rove • •or Ralph and Isabel are one, And Hymen guards the home of Love.* The Doctor now his rev'rence made, And Madam's smiling nod obey'd. " Your songs," said he, '' have giv'n me pleasure As well in subject as in measure ; But, in some modern songs, the taste Is far, Tm sure, from being chaste : :hey do not make the least pretence To poetry or common sense some coarse conceits, a lively air, With a da capo, here and there, Of uncouth words, which ne'er were found In any language above ground ; And these set off with some strange phrase, Compose our sing-song now-a-days. The dancing-master of my school In this way oft will play the fool And make one laugh — one knows not why, — But we had better laugh than cry. The song, which you're about to hear Will of this character appear • From London it was sent him down, ' As a great fav'rite through the town." Doctor Syntax's Song. Pve got a scold of a wife, The plague and storm of my life ; » ! were she in coal-pit bottom. And all such jades, 'od rot 'cm I ly cares would then be over. And I should live in clover^ With harum scarum, horum scorum, Stew'd prunes for ever ! Stew'd prunes for ever ! , ^P^pe^ ' °"V^ '". *^^^ codlin-tree, As blithe as blithe can be : While Dorothy sits below, Where the daffodillies grow : \nd many a slender rush, And blackberries all on a bush : With harum scarum, &c. &c. ixxruM ^il ^^^^^ ^^^!^^ ^° I^"^e grenadiers all of a row, IWhile the horn and trump shall sound As we pace the ramparts round IVVhere manv n larlxr fait- /-'«., r_..^t- ._ f 1 .-, . ' . .„., ^.^.^.^^ ^y^J^JJ _ ,„^^ J.J__ _.^. With harum scarum, &c. &c. IThe vessel spreads her sails To catch the rising gales, [And dances p'er the w^ve \ While many a love lorn slave 44 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Far off in the distant vale ; To his mistress tells his tale, With harum scarum, &c. &c. When the devv is on the rose, And the wanton zephyr blows • Thin" T .'^fu'''''^ f^^^^. head, And harebells fragrance shed Then I to the rocks will hie, And sing a lullaby With harum scarum, &c. &c. By fam'd Tlyssus' stream How oft I fondly dream, When I read in classic pages Of all the ancient sages • But they were born to die ! And so were you and I •' With harum scarum, horum scorum, ' Stew d prunes for ever ? stew'd prunes for ever ! Thus with many a pleasant lay, The party clos'd th' exhausted day. CANTO XII. TJnJJfl-i" ^ J'0"^"eyj-?n we go Through many a scene of joy and woe : Time flits along and will not stay, Nor let us linger on the way • Like as a stream, whose varying course Now rushes with impetuous force ; Now in successive eddies plays, Or in meanders gently strays. It still moves on, till spreading wide. It mingles with the briny tide • And, when it meets the ocean's roar, ' The limpid waves are seen no more. Such, such is Life's uncertain way ; — Now the sun wakes th' enliv'ning day : The scene around enchants the sight ; To cool retreat the shades invite • 1 he blossoms balmy fragrance shed ; ' The meads a verdant carpet spread ; While the clear riil reflects below The flowers that on its margin grow. And the sweet songsters of the grove Attune to harmony and love But lo ! the clouds obscure the sky, Ti • -J ^"^"^ *^^^ ^^^ bursting tempest nigh, wllirf'^i • ' -r ^ P^^'^"^ ''°"'' ^^^^ ^^\Mx€s ev'ry grace deform ; While their assailing powers annoy The pensive pilgrim'! tranquil joy • j But, though no tempests should molest The bower where he stops to rest" I Care will not let him long remain, But sets him on his way again.' * Thus Syntax, whom the 'Squire had press'd c- uij 1- ^h^*^^ whole months to take his rest ; Sigh d when he found he could not stay To loiter through another day : No," he exclaim'd, " I must away :— ^ A AX. ^ iP^*^"^ n ^°°.^ *° '^'^^^' To form a Tour,-to paint a Lake • AnH'.h^ 'u T^M P'^J?"'^^ ^^r' "^^ ^'-^^-^y ^^^^ ^^^ money home \ Thff T St! If ^' ""^ ^""^'"^ ^'^^ . ^^"^ ^^'^^ "^^ ^"^h a precious life 1 hat I had better never more Approach my then forbidden door '' Twas thus he ponder'd as he lay, When the sun told another day, Nor long the downy couch he press'd. vviicic uujy uiougnt aiSiUiD'ci ins rest i But quick prepar'd with grateful heart, From this warm mansion to depart. I the distant vale ; IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. le shades invite ; rmony and love. - - 45 •he 'Squire to his professions true, Thus spoke at once his kind adieu. hQUiRE.- I'm sorry, Sir, with all my heart, 1 hat you and I so soon must part • our virtues my regard engage ; I venerate the rev'rend sage • And, though I've not the mind to toil ^ ' ' , rn T r , t^^"^'"&'s way, by midnight oil, et still I feel the rev'rence due To all such loirnprl m^n .. uTstm /E y--f,lons^r st.y. When L" I'ceTliryoTL' l^ay : A^A T " "^^ ''^"'' . . ^^y f^'^»^'^y tribute\o the Muse * And when again you this way come * Again you'll find this house a home resides, I mean to recommend Your lihnnrc: fn n «^i i r • j ™ decorate ^^=^1^"^' ZS°!=eT™g^St"?;tS;etT The letter which you now receive xp^ct, on his right noble part, A welcome ihat will cheer your heart "^77 *^ r" '^^''":' ^"^ honour will attend you there Nor fear, my friend, that gilded state ^ 111 A-own upon r ar humble fate ; My Lord is good as he is great." bYNiAX.— Your kindness, surely, knows no end : You are in truth a real friend ; ^ cnu , ith the a. > ..^enng, sp endid rays Of his benign, protecting prS"' -.i> lortune will at once be made prciis_, And I shall bless the author's trade " Thus, as he spoke, 'Squire Hearty gave The letter Syntax long'd to have : And with it a soft silky note On which two coal-black wo'rds were wrote : The sight of which his sense confounds, 1 or these said words were CTtocnto ^pounlis. Check,' said the 'Squire, " your'wond'rlng look • JJS my subscription to your book; ' es1dt T'll trvTsdf IT "'" T^ ^ ''^y ^° y°"r Yorkshire friend ; Lsiaes, 1 il try to sell a score Among my neighbours here, or more." The Doctor's tongue made no reply, but his heart heav'd a grateful sigh • or, as he sits can we do better Than to repeat the promised letter. 'ut VwT '^^'''i^fi' ^^^^-.- Hell furnish laughter for a week In J '7' """"^ ^'i^-y""'' ^''"'^ ^^^^'^^ love him%rhim^rTttoo OH Usee at once tn this Divine, Qui.ote and ParZ A^J^ine) r ii lit TOt/Jt OF DOC Ton SYNTAX 4« A71 hero well combhCdyoiiUl view For Fielding rt:;/^^ Cervantes too ; j Besides y viy Lord, if I can judge, In classic lore he^s us'd to drudge. \ O do Out hear his simple story; Let him but lay it all before you; And you will thank me for ?ny letter, And say that you are Hearty's debtor : Nay, when your sides are tifd with mirth^ Your heart will feel his real worth. I know your kindness will receive him, And to your favour thus I leave him. So I remain with zeal most fervent. Your Lordshifs true and hearty servant, York, Thursday. R. i7." The Doctor now prepar'd to go, With heart of joy and look of woe ;] He silent squeez'd the 'Squire's hands. And ask'd of Madam her commands. The 'Squire exclaim'd, " why so remiss? She bids you take a hearty kiss jj And if you think that one won't do, I beg, dear Sir, you'll give her two :" " Nay then," says Syntax, " you shall see j" And straight he gave the Lady three ; Nor did he linger to exclaim, " He ne'er had kiss'd a fairer dame.'' The Lady blushing thank'd him too. And in soft accents, said — "Adieu I'l Syntax, since first he left his home. Had no such view of good to come. As now before his fancy rose To bid him laugh at future woesj " Fortune," he cried, " is kind at last. And I. forgive her mahce past;] Clad in C 's benignant form. Her power no more will wake the storm. Nor e'er again her anger shed In frequent showers upon my head?"! Now after a short morning's ride. In eager Hope and Fancy's pride| The Doctor v>ws with conscious smile, Fair 's splendid pile. Not Versailles makes a finer show, As, passing o'er the lofty brow, The stately scene is viewed below. The Lord received him with a grace Which mark'd the sov'reign of the place ; Nor was poor Syntax made to feel The pride which fools so oft reveal Who think it a fine state decorum. When humble merit stands before 'em : Cut here was birth from folly free. Here was the true nobility Where human kindness gilds the crest ; The first of virtues and the besi An hour in pleasant chit-chat past, The welcome dinner came at last And now the hungry Syntax eats Of high regouts and dainty meats Nor was the good man found to shrink Whenever he was ask'd to drink. My Lord. — " What think you. Doctor, of the show Of pictures that around you glow ?" DViNiAA. — ji ii uy iJ,iiu^uy ciijuy uic uwaii But now, my Lord, I'd rather eat." IN SEARCH OP THE PICTURESQUE. Lake a hearty kiss ; ; her malice past I 'er the lofty brow, bols so oft reveal My Lord -« What say you to this statue here ? Docs It not flesh and blood appear ?» SYNTAX.-" I'm sure, my Lord, 'tis very fine ; l3ut J, just now, prefer your wine." Sir John.— " I wonder you can keep your eve P rom forms that do with nature vie ' Nay, m my mind, my rev'rend friend Nature's best works they far transcend. Look at that picture of the Graces, Mv T opr. " T „„vi «. • J ^^"(Je7is o) to Ucrrard DoivJ^ Tho rr^^"~ } T 'v^ ^° -""^-^^ ^y certain rules. The Flemish and ItrJian schools • ' And nicely to describe the merits' Or beauties which each school inherits " Syntax -" Tho', in their way they're both bewitching • I now prefer your Lordship's kitchen '^ bewitching ; 1 he dinner done, the punch appears, . focf u "^P^ ^ ^^^'^ t^^^^'' spirits cheers. le festive hours thus pass'd away, Till time brouf^htnnfT^n i • a The Dnrfnr t'>iUM ^ll vl\ • "^""g"t on the closing day : AA 1 •/ S ^^' ^°^ c^^s ^ ^"s quaffincj, ^ ^ While all around were sick with laudiinL? My Lord.-" Again the subject I renew. And wish you would the pictures view " Syntax.—" To view them now would be a tronK- For faith, my Lord, my eyes see double " ' My Lord.-" To bed then we had best reoair I give you to the Butler's care • repair,- sage grave man, who will obey Whate'er your Rev'rence has to sav '> The sage grave man appear'd, and bow'd • ^' ,.v .1, ^ a^^ of this good office proud : /h^n^'^rrs^tger^^^^^^ ^"^0^^^"^?^° ^'"^ ^--^ 'o you the same respect we beaT'Anrl .T. ^f^^}'"^ of the cellar free ri^ere ev'ry noble bu^^Ll ^^^^^^^^^l^^l The servants waited on the stairs ^'"^• With cautious form and humble airs. Lead on," said Syntax, " I'll not stay, « ti .1 . .^^ ^^^^e^e you lead the wav " '^:^^^^:^^.^:^S^ l^Z^ ^r ^ command S > tap her grace oiDevons^J^T^^^ "^ ""^ ^^^^^^^^^^ beer ; lAru-^ u "^^? ^^^ P°^^"^ ^i^iuor flows, Which makes poor man forsrct his vi^ooc «i u,. ^yn'Li^x exclaim'd, " Here's Honour's hm<=f . le health of our most noble Host-Andle" fair 7?^., '"" .i The cups were cheer'dtlloyal son^^^^^ But cups like these nt'er lasted long, ' 47 ,i' 'MM 48 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX V m And Syntax stammer'd, " do you see ? Now Vm of this fam'd cellar free, I wish I might be quickly led T enjoy my freedom in a bed.' He wish'd but once, and was obey'd, And soon within a bed was laid ' Where, all the day's strange bus'ness o'er, He now was left to sleep and snore. CANTO XIII. How oft, as through Life's vale we stray. Doth fancy light us on the way ! How oft, with many a vision bright, Doth she thewayward heart delight, And. with a fond enliv'ning smile. The heavy hour of care beguTlc' But though so oft she scatters flowers, To make more gay our waking hours, Night is the time when o'er the soul She exercises full controiil While Life's more active functions pause, And sleep its sable curtain draws ; 'Tis then she waves her fairy wand And st- ange things rise at her command : She then assumes her motley reign And man lives o'er his life again ; While manyan airy dream invites Her wizard masks,her wanton sprites: Through the warm brain the phantoms play And form a visionary day, Th' s Syntax, while the bed he prest, And pass'd the night in balmy rest, Was led in those unconscious hours, By Fancy, to her fairy bowersi Where the light spirits wander free In whimsical variety No more an -rumble Curate now, He feels a mitre on his brow: The mildew'd surplice, thus withdrawn, Yields to the fine, transparent lawn. And peruke, that defied all weathe, Is nicelv dress'd to ape a feather] Grizzle no more is seen to wail. Her mangled ears and butcher'd tail .Six Grizzles now, with ev'ry ear. And all their flowing tails appear; When, harness'd to a light barouche. The ground they do not seem to touch ; While onward whirl'd in wild surprise, The air-blown Prelate thinks he flies. Now through the long cathedral aisle Where vergers bow and virgins smile, With measur'd step and solemn air He gains at lei.gth the sacred chair And to the crowd, with look profound, Bestows his holy blessin«3- rounc Above the pealing organs blow. To the respondent choir%elow When, bending to religion's shrine. He feels an energy divine] Now, 'scap'd from Dolly's angry clutches, He thinks he's maiTied to a Duchess ; And that her rank and glowing beauty Enliven his prelatic duty, Thus Fancy, with her antic train, Pass'd nimbly through the Doctor's brain : But, while she told her varying story Of short-liv'd pomp and fading plory, s fam'd cellar free, freedom in a bed.' iin a bed was laid, \'ard heart delight] ir of care beguile] nses full controuli I'er his life again : er wanton sprites: m a visionary day, her fairy bowers, vhimsical variety,! itre on his bro\v [ to ape a feather,! id butcher'd tail 'ing tails appear,^ IN SEA RCH OF THE PIC T UK ESQ UE. 'Dice upon the vision broke,-When Syntax gave a grunt-and woke And may it please you, I've a word To tell your Rev'rence, from my Lord." '/' he cried " why to be free, I've been as good a Lord as he • J hroughout the night, I've been as great As any Lord, with all his state ; It now that fine-drawn scene is o'er, And I'm poor Syntax as before. You spoil'd my fortune, 'tis most certain, . The moment you withdrew the curtain, , If you please my pretty maid. You'll tell me what my Lord has said " I —My Lord has sent to let you know The breakfast is prepared below." '—Let my respects upon him wait. And say that I'll be with him straight." Out then he bounc'd upon the floor : * The maid ran shouting through the door, much the figure of the Doctor, In his unrob'd condition shock'd her ^yntax now hasten'd to obey The early summons of the d u » humWy bow'dand took his seat; Nor did his Lordship fa I to Vreei Wnh kmdest words his rev'rend guest- -As how he had en^y' li^^-S' Hop'd ev'ry comfort he had found ; J > '^ '<-^i, That his night slumbers had been sound. A«.i fK^n, ?, oiuuiucrb naa oeen sound, {hat he was prepard t. share. With keen regard, his morniucr's fare Doctor smil'd, and soon made free With my Lord's hos^talTty j 1 hen told aloud hiq o-nM^n /lv«o.v, ^ i^ >.uiu;r , Th the sacred chai ly blessing round. ^cnt choir belowf ?in energy divine! his prelatic dutyl Then told aloud his golden dream. Which prov'd of mirth a fruitful theme. Tis true," he said, "when I awoke, 1 he charm dissolv'd, the spell was broke • The n^'treand Its grand display, Wifh my fine wife,' all pass'd awav • ^ Th awak'ning voice my fortune cross'd ; ' * If .Ml T .:^P ^ ^"y ^y^^y ^"d all was lost :— t still I find t. my delight i have not lost my appetite » Sir John.-" As for the mitre and the gold"^ ^^ Ipvfno -T^lf^^cy gave you to behold, ^ ' IVe7o[ srinlfn'"' '^%''^^'?,^ g«od I need not roam ; ^« ^<,« r ^ ' ^'^ J°""' ^ ^v'fe at home, 10 can frg;^"^orn to night contrive To keep her family alive : ^uch sprightly measures she can take, / ivc . 1 hat no one sleeps when she's awake. t or me, if Fortune would not show'r • ve,u\A f« ^.°'"? portion of her wealth and pow'r, £did yc^-Kat that r^i^S^^r "'" "'''"'"'' '' Had you e'er felt his cutting woes, Whose head is comb'd, whose pocket's emntv You ne'er would call those shiners trash ^^' Whose touch is hfe-whose name is Cash. ff ! SO TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX My Lord.— "A truce, I pray, to your debate ; The hunters all impatient wait ; And much I hope our learned Clerk Will take a gallop in the Park'j Syntax. — " Your sport, my Lord, I cannot take, For I must go and hunt a Lake ; And while you chase the flying deer, I must fly off to Windermen 'Stead of hallooing to a fox, I must catch echoes from the rocks With curious eye and active scent, I on ihQ picturesque am bent This is my game, I must pursue it. And make it where I cannot view it Though in good truth, but do not flout me, I bear that self-same thing about me. If in man's form you wish to see T\\q picturesque, pray look at me I am myself without a flaw. The VQxy picturesque I dra A Rector, on whose face so sleek In vain you for a wrinkle sec In whose fair form, so fat and round, No obtuse angle's to be foun On such a shape no man of taste Would his fine tints or canvas waste But take a Curate who's so thin, His bones seem peeping through his skin, Make him to stand, or walk or sit. In any posture you think fii And, with all these nice points about him. No well-taught painter e'er would scout him : For with his air, and look, and m'en, He'd give efl"ect to any seem In my poor beast, as well as me, A fine example you may see She's so abrupt in all her parts — O v^hat fine subjects for the arts Thus, thus we travel on together. With gentle gale or stormy weather And, though we trot along the plains Where one dead level ever reig: Or pace where rocks and mountains rise, Who lift their heads, and bravj the skies ; I, Doctor Syntax, and my horse, Give to the landscape double forci — I have no doubt I shall produce A volume of uncommon usi That will be worthy to be plac'd Beneath the eye of men of taste; And I should hope, my Lord, that you Will praise it and protect it too Will let your all sufficient name The two-fold patronage proclaim That time may know, till time doth end. That C was my honoui-'d friend." Sir John. — " And can you, learned Doctor see When that important hour shall be .'"' Syntax. — " Sir Knight, that was not wisely spoke ; The point's too serious for a joke ; And you must know, by Heav'n's decree, That hour will come to you and me, And then succeeds — Eternity." My Lord. — " Peace, peace, Sir John, and let me tell The Doctor that I wish him well : I doubt not but his work will prove, Most useful to the arts I h\\ But pray, good Sir, come up to town. That seat of wealth and of renown : Come up to town nor fear the cost. Nor time nor labour shall be lo^ Fii Ope luy door and take you in — You've made me laugh, and you shall win : We'll then consult how I can best Advance your real interest! debate ; lUop in the Park' nnot take, fifto Wtndennen IS from the rocks uresgue am bent e I cannot view it pray look at me] icturesque I clraw^ or a wrinkle seek igle's to be found s or canvas waste! ture you think fit| m : Tect to any scene] pie you may see] jects for the arts I ■ stormy weatherj level ever reign :ape double forca tf uncommon usi : of men of tastej nd protect it tool ronagc proclaiini ctor see sely spoke ; nd let me tell :o the arts I lo\i lOur shall be losj our real interesll /iV SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 51 here this piece of writing take ;— You'll use it for the donor's sik^ • ^can, you see, that it shall crown Your wishes while you sUyin town •' It you may, as it suits you, use it,- No one, 1 fancy wm refuse i?' e Doctor, vvhcn he yiew'd the paper, Instead of bowing-cut T ca^^^^^^ My Lord now sought tlV expected chacc, ^ ' And Syntax, in his usual pace. When four long tedious days had past, f he town of Keswick reach'd at last, ere he the famous work prepared, Of all his toil the hop'd reward .n as the morn began to break. Old Grizzle bore hfm to fhe Lake .ng the banks he gravely pac'd, And all its various beaiUies trac'd f When, lo, a threatening storm appeared ! * Fhoebus the scene no longer chcer'd • dark clouds sunk on ev'ry hill; The floating mists the vallies fill • Nature, transform'd began to low'r; ?" * And threaten'd a tremendous shower. 7fn., f tK '^V'° ^^^' ^^^ '.^"^^' ^^^^^ ^\^mtr,is contend in battle • iT^l 17^^ '''"'^ '-"^^^T ''' ^V^^« ^^'-ite about it, and about it' t^Z ^fJT^''' may find In thunder loud, or wh stling vvhid • H n 'if' ^ ^""^ """""' ^t may be he'ard as well Is seen • though a pencil cannot trace A sound as it can paint a place' t pen, in its poetic rage, Can make it figure on he paee » fisherman, who pass'd that way. Thought it civility to slv id, please you, Sir, ^tis all in vaiii' To take yourV ospect n the ra^iT On horseback too you'll ne'er be able— * I^u^^ better sure to get a table."— A , ^"K^'" Syntax said, " for your advice. And faith. I'll take it in a trice ; as I m moisten'd to the skin, I'll seek a table at the Inn •"- Grizzle m her haste to pass, Lur'd by a tempting tuf^ of ?rass asTnro?^'^'^""^^^^^^^ Andsous'dtheD^octor hiheLake; ' ^Thar! Zrnf%^'''''''\.^'^?} P*^"^ ^"^^^^ ^"d ^^' "taster 1 nan both of them could well endure. And a warm Inn would shortly cure. inlheT^ndln'^JJ''^ ^"^'^^>^ ^M' "^^^'^ ^^^t^^' by the fire-side, did L wa.fi h1\^''''^^^ ^^^^' ^"t ''^''^'^' ^o^■^o^.M nor sad An??.nn M .h"'? ""Z^^' ?\'' ^^''^ ^'' P^"cil ^" its play Ana tiac d the landscapes of the day. ' CANTO XIV. yJ!. Nature, dear Nature, is my goddess. , Whether array'd in rustic boddicc, stun .om'I'n^'^f ^1"^'^ ^^^^ ^° her charmsnew charms impart ^ not meTin^lT^ '''^' ^'' ^'''' ^^^" ^^^'^^^ ^'"der mantle drest : not mean^in shape grotesque, But when she's truly McturesaueP A ■'i"u^ ""'^ ^"^*^^'' ^norning as he stray'd, . A^*^, fhe surrounding scene survey'd, lo we're in'^/f^r^ P^'^^ '^?°'^ ^"'^ °" ^^^ "^"^'^'^ of the flood, |o were, m statu quo, to make A little voyage on the Lake. 4—2 k' ^ ^° "^^^^" ^" thievish birds afral 1 nan the white swan, in all its pride. Sailing upon the crvstal til f eel^ 'I'rel^-'' ' r"" ^^^^'^^^'^^ ki^^l Hea^v'n'has madeM 1 feel It a religious duty To bless its use and praise its beauJ 1 care not whatsoe'er the creature, '" Q« fi o* f JV^'^^te'er its name, its form and feature, So that fond Nature will aver The creature' doth belong to hJ But though indeed, I may admire ^ Thi^v v,P,-fh/ -if ^^^""u""^'^ ^°^'"'' ^"^ snake's attire, ^tlfl ^^^^:^^^^^:^^ ^^^- ^ooa shV; ragged b^ ut for a picture, she's not fitted— TK.. • The bird was made but to be spitted. The pigeon, I'll be bound to show k, ^s a fine subject for a 13 jject to my mini 3th beloncr to m I^y SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. In the soft verse his mate he woos, 1 urns his gay neck, and bills and coos. And as in am'rous strut he moves, ^oothcs the fond heart of him who loves • Jt I'll not paint him, no, not I— i n i • t fell rubb'd with salt and soicv dimf A n i lu ^"!" ^'^^*^'* '" ^ P'>» f How many a bfrTtCh!^unts^h' t^d'"^'^^'^'^ ^ ^ ^ -'' How many a fowl that cleaves the flood! With their sweet songs enchant my ear k • .^. ■ B'^-^f ^ "^y ^y^ ^s they appear, Inen m their flight, or as thev row t^^i.-^u* j , . But s.1ll,'wha.c'cr .'hdrTorm offea^' °" ""' '"'^'^ '"^"°" ' r let them s?vroHenhan'r ^"""-^"hf^;' . L bird that's sitting qu tc a"one' I, fi, i$ t f T«"" "''^S' '''" ^efy. And any L\ of "ir'twould shoc'k ' '° '" '"^ " '" "•'"^•' ,™ 1 ,,-,°P'"""^'>^?"''d geese in a flock: lough I like not a sing c fiumrc Wh^thn, >.:. i lat Hshcrman so leanlind tank w£ sit -, n^' "' "l""?*^" ' Tempts not the eye ; 'but, doff Ws eoai °"' "''°" ""^ ''^"'^' |. then wmle'lhe f^lKir ""' ' T' „ k- a boy's playing wUh aZo^ 'Tis somtS^nTfo^iM-' °" "'^ '^''^■ painter's eyes-0 « hat a joke To nS: (w'i'"™' =" 6™"?' the same time, 'twoukl help the iest Unon ]h„ f '', "P^'^ "" °^'< ■ trout, with all its orcttv dio« '%' ^P°" '^e branch to fix a nest. J. still it is a silfyrh"ri *" VoTIl him^'''"^'''' "^^ ^y^' ■' It, 1 must own, that daintv fish WS., ^ °"J' ''""^^ swim : Id he must be 'a thankKler Wio ,h nfa^itut™" '^,;" ". "'* ' Inch is mr.""g"ht and'^^rpiJruij^r' °'^"' '" p™''"'=^- St Of .1. ..^ ^^ example— you shall view it. 3K at that tree— then take a elance At- it-c fi«l i u Behold those branc4-how fhVir^hade "" P'"'""^'-''"^- i IS by the mass of light display'd • Look at that light, and see how fine 1 he backward shadows make it shine i The sombre clouds that spot the sky Make the blue vaulting twice as high ; And where the sun-beams warmK-|low, l« n • V"^^- ^^^"^ ^^^ ^^o"ow twice as low P'^-te^l^e'L-S-tier?^^^^^^^^^^ I But the bold piauresgue is wjnting.'^ ^ ' Thus, though I leave the birds to sing, "" "Kind- Nature, eve;bo''r„Lo„s';;;;^;;;e" '"^^ "^™ '"'° "'•'/- Lontrives it m some way or other proper wishes to supply ^ ' t • ^ . '^^ In mfinite variety. 54 TO VR OF DOC TOR YNTA X A wc'h fr,7h"«'"' ''i'-:''-'^'-"' =<'">w"ncc !akc. To give effea .o Sd'JitPjjr^-^" l^-^'t ?"" '"°^'^' To ihc i,ne steed you s onsmcn hc^■^ xxtTT '"''' ^'"'"^ « "^'ne. ?,"„:>" high' hip. a^d ted llt''''"^''^ P'-^f^™ -^ "''^ Indeed I sh"S pSer'by "hal/""" ^""'V"-^ .^'"0 = , The unshorn sheep, the shacEVCoit r-n.n.^c "■?,""' » ""mo" calf : Would to a taste-insphcl mfr^d^,^ L'e.t" ,h, frf'":5S^''',"Sgod coat, In a granS stable he migh, pi'. L ""'^"" ** ^'''P'' '^'•■'""d ■' cT'y, f "'J'-" g"-^^^ b?ne.S my trees » Fanyfo h^ '!''■ ""'■''^' ""= northern 'Squire But yet he l^-Td'a wfslno' qtS'""'-' ^f'";'- ^ "I have a ho„V he said'-^^^ h'™"- -'1 his phi.. There I hav' 'owl ''a°n77 '":'" ""y ^"'"'^nd , You shall be^^Xom^S v"^ " ^""^^°"^ P''"'"^. 'Squire.— '"This Dnrfnr c: . salutation free and kind. Asjo'^a-.h^," reLt'LPfu'Jr"^''" ^-^^ ^ ^""« Th|?o";^,tdi::„rr S'^iy^iiiJ^ ™^ ■-ng .,,., , SVNTAX.-" A lovely Lady to the view I And wuh your leave, I'll kiss her too '^ Jhus pleasant words the converse cheeHd Where the ^r^'^^Z^.^^^t^r^t I The Doctor eat,\„l'?alk'd and qu "tfd'^ ^'^"'^ "^'"^ '^-^^ 'SoC^n"""'/"'™' "^^ LadieTlaugh'd. T.|?^:^y-;„^.-,i;ft?nt'^;i,*'^^^ There's ntiT" -^ J°"^'' '^"^'^^ to hunger dve relief 1 Here s nothing //r///mir//^ in beef 1 ^eiiel,— t'anous ways ; purpose suit; W SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 55 V art disclose ; Mvs as mine, infers a cow; mmon calf : aggcd coat, ^se behind : id his phiz, not a {qw \ lire's fare ; on before; had got ; and kind,. lie feast But there are artists— if you'll treat 'cm ; Will paint your dinners ; that is— cu. 'cm." «n . , . 'SQUIRE.— "But sure your pencil might command \Vhatcer is noble, vast and grand,— The beasts, forsooth, of Indian land- Where the fierce, savage tiger scowls, And the fell, hungry lion giuwls '' Syntax.—" These beasts may all be subjects fit : But, for their likeness, will they sit ? I'd only take a view askaunt, From the tall back of elephant • With half a hundred Indians round mc. That such sharp claws might not confound me But now, as we have ceas'd to dine. And I have had my share of wine I should be glad to close the feast • ' By drawing some more harmless beast." The Doctor found a quick consent, And to the farm their way they bent A tub inverted, form'd his scat ; The animals their painter meet • Cows, asses, sheep, and ducks and geese. Present themselves, to grace the piece • Poor Grizzle, too, among the rest, Of the ixyx^ picturesque posscst Quitted the meadow to appear, And took her station fn the rear ! The sheep all baa'd, the asses bray'd. The moo-cows low\y :\nd Grizzle neigh'd ! " Stop, brutes," lc' cric/I " your noisy glee I do not want t licar— 1 >it see ; Though by \\vQ picturesqui ^h iws. /ou're better too with open iaws » The Doctor now, with genvs bi-, First drew a cow, and next a pic • A sheep now on th. paper passes, ^^ And then he sketch'd a group of * sscs • Nor did he fail to do his duty In giving Grizzle all her beauty And now," says Miss, (a laughing elf) ^' " I wish. Sir, you would draw yourself." " With all my heart," the Doctor said, " But not with horns upon my head." " — And then I hope you'll draw my face.'* " In vain, fair maid, my art would trace Those winning smiles, that native grace. The beams of beauty I disclaim ; 'Wi^ picturesque s my only aim • My pencil's skill is mostly shown In drawin|faces like my own! Where time, alas, and anxious Care, ' Have plac'd so many wrinkles there." w wY Q " ^^""f M ? .sP'-c^ding tree They chat, and sip their ev'ning tea Where Syntax told his various fate His studious life and married state; And that he hop'd his Tour would tend His comforts and his purse to mend. At length they to the house retreated, And round the supper soon were seated'* When the time quickly pass'd away, ' And gay good humour clos'd the day. 56 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX CANTO XV. It chSeirTearh^\\7.^^^^^^^^^^^ the rich and great, While fro„.bcneatrtL%onafp^^^^^^^ InyendidhanraXafntei^^^^^^^^^ v.f cf 11 'I' I ^^^ ^'^'^" the festive hours • Yet still within the secret dell T-VTi^ u ' • , , And in this Isle, so brave and fair ^^e hospitable Virtues dwell Within the city's ample bound ' Her stateTv rSf ^^ '^ ev'rywhere Where evVy want, and ev'rv oiin ThL- ^ ^}^^ ^""^ ^^^" around Where the s'ad heir of pinb/gSMay bless'dT^ ^''''^', "f^"''^ '"'^^^ While, on the humble village-lrreer Hmv n^^^^^ i"''^''^" • °^tain relfefi Where poverty forgets its woes ' An7 ' the low-roofd pile is seen " Thrice ha^py Iritons while their ' Of'ii^nvf "^^ "^"^^"^ ^^P««^' Leaves the dire track of streaming goe "' unrelenting War On many a hapless, distant shore,-! While a remorseless tyrant's hand ?^2 r n 'J "y* ''''°"Sh each foreign land And fell destruction, from the thfonc To hini who doth the cottage own Ax?u^^ K^"\^ "P°" your sea-girt Isle -wu T, y^^T ^^^ ^^'S^^t virtues ever smile ' \Vhere hostile shout ngs ne'er molpc:f Th^ i, ' • Where'er it is his lot tS go' S^Ju^^l '""^''^^^'^ S^"''^! rest. Nay, wheresoe'er his way d^th Tend" """"' "" "'""^^^ ^^^ ' TK„e 1, ■ ^"""^ "^^y ^^^"<^e to find a friend " Thus, having rose at early dav. As throiiP-h7hr>„i j . The Doctor did^his'thouglitT^ ^' '^'^ ^'« vvay, For, while wi?hVkil/ eLh K^^^^^^^^^^ ^(^V \ But soon a bell" stttTilKund"" ^^^^ ^ P^' ^-• Re-echo'd all the meads around ' And said as plain as bell could say- « Breakfast i. r..A The welcome summons heobey'd. And found an ^rhnt^T'^^^^ ^^^y-" T^rr' t'^ ^^^^ Plenteous meal wYstp'r^ea?^^ Know of those simple, real iovs^ \Vi^rl Vh T'P ^"^ ^°'' ^"'^ ^tate, O ! what a heart revising treat r p V^^ 5^'^"^ "^^^r cloys 1 All that can please the quicken'd taste Tc a-'!!^^'.'' ^^'^ '""''al seat ! The flowers, on their native bed Av^unffv • " '^'' ^^' '^?^^'' A bloom that with the flow'retvTes ''"' '^°"" ^^^^ = On those fnir r\\pr.\j-c: ,,** x_ And what sweet music7ree'ts'my elf ' ' ir.A A u^^'"^" ^*'^'' ^o^^e ^'^^ ii^e welcome herP f Indeed, each sense combines to bless tk^ T ^ ' TiDines to bless The present hour with happiness" IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 57 Thus Syntax spoke, nor spoke in vain , The ladies felt the flatt'ring strain ; Nor could they do enough to please The Doctor for his courtesies. *' All that you see, if that's a charm. Is, Sir, the produce of our farm j The rolls are nice, our oven bakes 'em ; Those oat cakes too, my sister makes 'em. The cream is rich, pray do not save it ; The brindled cow you drew. Sir, gave it : And here is some fresh gather'd fruit— I hope it will your palate suit • 'Tis country fare which you receive. But 'tis the best we have to e-ive " " O !" said the 'Squire, " the Doctor jokes With us poor harmless country folks : I wonder that with all his sense, And such a tickling eloquence He has not turn'd an humble priest Into a good fat dean at least' We know how soon a Lady's ear Will list the honey'd sound' to hear ' At the same time, I'm free to say I think the men as vain as they' How happens it my learned friend. That you have not attain'd your end ? That all your figures and your tropes Have not fulfill'd your rightful hopes ? I should suppose your shining parts And above all your flatt'ring arts Would soon have turn'd your grizzly i are * Into a handsome chaise and pair. I live amidst my native groves, And the calm scene my nature loves • But still I know, and often see. What gains are made by flattery '' " That may be true," the Doctor said ; " But flattery is not my trade. Indeed, dear Sir, you do me wror — No sordid interest guides my tongue ; Honour and Virtue I admire. Or ui a Bishop or a 'Squire • But falsehood I most keenly hate, * Tho' gilt with wealth, or crown'd with state. For TRUTH I'm like a lion bold ; And a base lie I never told • Indeed, I know too many a sinner Will lie by dozens for a dinner • But, from the days of earliest youth, ' I've worshipp'd, as I've practis'd Truth ; N.-y, many a stormy, bitter strife I've had with my dear loving wife Who often says she might have seen ' Her husband a fine, pompous Dean : Indeed, she sometimes thinks her spouse Might have a mitre on his brows. If, putting scruples out of view. He'd do as other people do. No— I will never he nor fawn, Nor flatter to be rob'd in lawn I too, can boast a certain rule Within the precincts of my school *: I never can forgive a lie. But, when a boy forswears his God ; Whatever faults I may pass by, I hate to use the birchen rod ; , When he in purpos'd falsehood deals, My heavy strokes the culprit feels Vice I detest, whoever shows it. And hearts my Nor will you, Sir, deny the share The 'Squire replied, " I e'en must yield And leave you master of the field : e will pay, and pay to you ; I owe to these two ladies fair." w s« TOl/R OF DOCTOR SYNTAX These Ladies will Pm sure agree That you have fairly conquer'd me • But, be assur'd, all joke apart, I feci your doctrine from my heart' Your free-born conduct I commend, And shall rejoice to call you friend • ! how It would my spirits cheer If you were but the rector here » Our Parson, Pm concem'd to say, Had rather drink and game— than pray : He makes no bones to curse and swear, In any rout to take a share And what's still worse, he'll springe a hare. ' 1 wish his neck he would but break, Or tumble drunk into the Lake ' For, know the living's mine to give, And you should soon the cure receive : The Benefice, Pm sure, is clear, At least three hundred pounds a year » " I thank you. Sir, with all my heart," Said Syntax, " but we now must part." The fair-ones cry'd— " We beg you'll stay, And pass with us another day." "—Ladies, I would 'twere in my pow'r. But I can't stay another hour • I feel your kindness to my soul, And wish I could my fate controul • Within ten days the time will come When I shall be expected home • Nor IS this all— for strange to say, I must take London in my way '' Thus converse kind the moments cheer'd, Till Grizzle at the gate appear'd. '• Well," said the 'Squire, " since you must go Our hearty wishes we bestow : And if your genius bids you take Another journey to the Lake Remember J-F^r^-Z^-rr//, we pray, And come and make a longer stay • Write too, and tell your distant friends ' ^'^^ ^^^^ ^"^"^^^^ y°"''J°''^''"^y ^"ds. We do not mean it as a bribe. But to your work we must subscribe." The Ladies too, exclaim'd-" repeat Your visit to our northern seat " Poor Syntax knew not how to tell The gratitude he felt so well • And, when at length he said—" Good bye " A tear was bright in either eye. ' The. Doctor pac'd along the way Till it grew nigh the clos^ of day. When the fair town appeai-'d in sight. Where he p'-opos'd to pass the night : But as he reaclVd the destin'd Inn The landlord, with officious grin, At once dcclar'd he had no bed Where Syntax could repose his head • At least, where such a rev'rend guest Would think it fit to take his rest • A main of cocks had fought that day And all the gentry chose to stay Observe, my friend, I mind not cost," Says Syntax to his cringing host ; « But still at least I may be able To sleep with Grizzle in the stable ; And many a Doctor after all. Is proud to slumber in a stall ' In short, I only want to sleep Where neither rogue nor knave can creep I travel not with chan., of coats, But in these bags are all my notes : Which, should I lose, would prove my ruin And be for even mv undoing-." * Thus as he spoke', a livclyl)lade. With dangling queue and smart cockade, Reply'd al once, " I have a room ; The friend I looked for is not come ; pounds a year " AV SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. th And of two beds where we may rest You, my good Sir, shall have the best • So you may sleep without alarm ; No living wighi shall do you hami • You may depend upon my word ;— ^ ' I serve the King and wear a sword " *'\our offer. Sir, I kindly greet," Says Syntax^ "but you'll let me treit With what is best to drink and eat • * And I request you will prepare, To your own taste, the bill of fare » The Doctor and the Captam sat, Till tir'd of each others chat They both agi-eed It would be best To seek the balmy sweets of rest Syntax soon clos'd his weary eye Nor thought of any danger nigh • While, like the ever-watchful snake, His sharp companion la^y awakV Impatient to assad h.s prey ; When, soon as it was dawn JZy He gently seiz'd the fancied store ; But as he pass'd the creakhig door' Syntax awoke, and saw the th.ef ; When loudly bawling for reS' He forward rush'd in naked state. And caught the culprit at the eatc • Agamst that gate his head he beat, ^ * Then kick'd him headlong to the street The ostler from his bed arose. In time to hear and see the blows. Says Syntax, " I'll not make a riot ; I've sav'd my notes, and ril be quiet The rascal, if I'm not mistaken, Will ask his legs to save his bacon • But what a figure I appear ! I must not stand and shiver here So take me back into the room, P>om hence in this strange way I've come " The ostler then the Doctor led, To the warm comforts of his bed • Into that bed he quickly ci^pt, Beneath his head his bags he kept' And on that pillow safely slept. ^ ^ ' CANTO XVI. Fair Virtue is its own reward, For Heaven remains its constant guard • And ,t becomes us all to trust In this grand truth-t'hat Heaven is just Whatever forms the human lot. Whether in palace or in cot xv^^l '""l"" r'^'^t°' ^^'^qfl^^t strife, Man leads his variegated I'fe^ Yxt^t' u^ f^f ^ his smiling hours In stately halls or paintfd bow'rs * Whether he labours through the day In Winter cold or Summer's ray ' Or in long nights of tort'ring pain, ^ ' He strives to close his eyes in vain, Comfort will on his lot attend if Virtue be his bosom friend. In youth, when Love's creative pow'r Forms the young Passion's roseate bow'r • When, life-matur'd, the eager game ' That hunts for wealth or seeks for fame Is subtly play'd, with various art. To seize the mind and filj th^ Hn^.f . When age comes on with stealing pace And the crutch marks the closing race/ Co TOUR OP DOCTOR SVA'TAX Virtue supports her champion's cause ^hl'JiUA^ P^''\^ ' resistless hour, She still displays her conscious now'r • Nor fails to make the flo w'rcts bloom ' Round the dark confines of the tomb. rhus Syntax ponder'd-when around His head he turn'd, and grateful fiu d rieas'd wifh ff. ^^"' '^"^ ^^*"' ^" '^^^ '-^"d sound Of ev'ry tongue, and nide a d „ t Wh a^^^^^^^^ ^hegcn'ril tlfeme 1 he ostler told it to the maid, And she t fe whn i P"/''"' °^ ^^'^ !"«. Nay, m her idle, eager prate M k n i., ""' ^"? '"^^^^ betray'd ; For, 'tho?gh^slfe% all snfg^lV?d'qu^t""'°^^ '°^ ^^^^ ^''^^ ^ She swore ^!^^^Z^^:^ ^(^^/p- ' ^ ' A full grown man intoZ stree' wT°i? ^'?"^, '^'^ ^^''"^^^ ^hre.r And then ran off through all the dWt ^^rhu -^^^^^ hghted on his feet. ...?-.^-ber caught ?he story nex't. "wL"?.' "if t? -' '^^ ^alf a shin! Nay, as I liyel te 'no . t "' \Tl •■"? ^ He seiz'd a Captain by the pate AnH H°^ m' '°"^"^'"^d "^"^ther ! T Jt all th^^ plan'kf ^re coye^/d'c^e'r ' ^' '° ^'^^^'"^' ^^^ ^^^^^ With scatter'd brains and human gore » ?h.M?''^'MlP ^''''^ ^'"^ ^"^h a banging And they, who that fine colour wore The ^?/''?,'^'^^ '^^^ ^^'^ best ; While black (it was not verrdym Va the tnn ''"rP^^^^^''^"^ bore Thus soon a louS dispite^ose ' "'"'' ''"'^ '^ ^^^^" '^^^'^• And ended b thi^ uZd^yt^t^T Z% ^J^- '' And, if fa, Justice does /ot falter,"^ he'H S e'SiS^^*'^'" .^^ ^l'^ ''^^^ '^ The Parson smil'd, and bid the calf Co homo i ^u '^'°P '^^^^ a halter." But, when he came, the lather^ elf H.rl i ''m'^?^^''^ '^'^ ^^^er half; The tailor laid aside his needle ' T^heaJX^'^" "^^ half himself! &rh!d'i' ^^'-^^ strang'eV^^^^o'^fr '^°" *^^ ^-^^^> « Would yo^bhteiMh'^^^^^^^^^ Down in his bed a Lawyer bomidlnd i^blS ; -^^T"'^ ^ "^^" ^^ "^'^^^t, Then gagg'd' him,Xt he migS nor^u ^ '""^"' ^^""^ '' The people sleeping in the hSuse." - ^^^'^'l^' ,1^y^ ^"'P' " however strong ..-. ...,.= . . ,, -. . vvyers tongue ;' ^'Hp^f/i ^'"' '"'*'' ^ ' s^-^'e himself; He s the worst Villain of the two! And For, -ij, wiii stup a stolen pelf. IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 6l and red : the best ; ions bore, the devil. ' his life; a halter." her half ; ■ himself. J Beadle, )f might, pound J They're thieves in grain— they never alter— Attornies all deserve a halter. If that is all, V\\ mind my stitches, Nor lay aside John Bumkin's breeches." The blacksmith, while a trav'ller stay'd That a new horse-shoe might be made, Inform'd liim that a rev'rcnd Clerk Last night was strangled in the dark No one knew how— 'twas at the Beli^ ' The murd'rer not a soul could tell : The Justice, though, would make a lout. And try to find the fellow cut- Thus Rumour spread the simple case, In ev'ry form throughout the place. The Doctor now unclos'd his eyes, And thought that it was time to rise So up he got, and down he went, To scold the Landlord fully bent : Who, pale, and trembling with affright At what had happen'd in the night, Approach'd with such an humble look. The Doctor's rage at once forsook His Christian breast ; and, with a voice That did the poor man's heart rejoice. He bid him soon as he was able. To let the coffee grace the taFe. "I do aver " the Landlord said, " That since I've carried on my trade / a"""? . Jf •''^^" "''^'^''' °^ *^'^ ^^^'''^' As ^" throughout the town can tell (And that IS now ten years or more) I ne'er knew such mishap before, rhe fellow Sir, upon my word. Let loose his money like a Lord • I receive all who come this way. And care not. Sir, how long they stay! bo they but eat and drink— and pay. I ask not from whence people come, Tu t- , ^^^^ ^^ ^^^^'*' "^"^^' °^ yNh&ve their home ; That he s a rogue, I think is clear, Nor e'er again shall enter here. He is some sharper I suppose. Who round about the country goes : While, to assist his lawless game, I le takes the soldier's noble name I understand the rogue you bang'd. And in good time. Sir, he'll be hang'd : I hope that all your notes you've found,— I'm told they're worth a thousand pound." ' Prove that," says Syntax, " my dear honey, And I will give you half the money. Think not, my friend, I'm such a fool. That I have been so late at school, 1 o put my bank-notes in a bag. That hangs across my Grizile nag ; No, they were notes to make a book ; The thief my meaning, friend, mistook : for know, the man would not have found Them worth— to him— a single pound : Though much I hope that they will be ine souice of many a pound to mc." Thus Syntax cheer'd the Landlon; ;. heart 'Till the time v/arn'd him to depart ; When soon,alo-!g the beaten road, Poor Grizzle bore her rev'rend load 62 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX The Doctor's pleasant thoughts beguile The journey onward many a mile • For many a m.le he had not seen Li one Unvarying, level ereen » Nor had the way one object brought ^ " ' Aspire,mdeecUcross the down, Wd to'denote a neiglibVing town • ^ ad that he vie v'd with some dehght— ^ * Hot there he ho,>'d to pass the night. A l^jmer pow so blithe a.id gay, Came trotting briskly on his wiv \v 111 you," says Syntax, « tell me, friend. ^ ^ ^* J t to yon town this way doth tend ?" This road, good Sir, will take you there: Your- surely going to the fair; ' 1 IS the first mart both far and near A 1 r f°^,^o^ses, cows, and such like ffeer- And, from the beast I ve in my eve YriVp a..Lrr <^ I think, if I the truth mav te' ' v I ^' "^' '• '^ ^ ^'^^ ^'' ^"^ ^ For no a pc^-sL in the fai J ' wm ^^1 ^^7 n?' ^'^^ ^ "^^' *« sell ; Syntax, wh^oTarly lov'd aToke I^H l'^^'" '/'5 f^^'/^"^' ^^^ ^^^^ ^"^''e." ^SYNTAX.— Believe me, Fanr..-r, ;onK to?, the ■ In sun-shine, md in stormy weather ' ' My raare and T Tjave trotted on "^c^^tner, Ana, though h^r^u^eru demise T^' '' t Vl °"' ^'^"^ ^^"^ J You would not X ^t^^^^^Zl ^ ^°" ^"^^ ^"°^ ^^^^ qualities, F4R^'f ' ^ /?iT ° ^' no^v you seem disposed to do." She ^: Z f } ^''^ "" P°""^' ^^ y°" ^^*e willing, bi^e uooi, iiof feioh you twenty shilling." ^^.^ ^ ii":;^t^t;^^s^f^?ii!^-^'-^^^^^^^^ ^^S/SfS's p"h u4^^ P(5^I^T ^-^^ ^^^^-ce my cloth : ButyetI^^mk^J^ir^' ^"cS^^^^^^-- 'fis true, she's past the age of beauty ; ^ ^ '^^^^• Yet still the old girl does her duty ; And some one surely vU be found M. f^ 1'"^^' ^' ^^^^^' ^^^'s worth a pound : And if my old and faithful mare That hot a person would be willing On honour I will do the same,. Such are the terms that I propose, ow ... us noA Give me your nr.nd," the Farmer said, The erms I'll keep, the bargain's made." 1 11115; thfv vnHn /^.A ««J 1. 1 i .1 Should so be treated in the fair, To offer for her twenty shilling, As sure as Syntax is my name. bo let us now the bargain close." Thus thev roHo nn anA r-a^^U'Vl *!--._ 1 he pipe and bowl the ev'ning crown I he morrow came, and through the fair Ihc Farmer led the grizzle marc. I^SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 63 Says one, I would not bid a pound : She's only fit to feed a hound • But would a hound the gift receive, * For she has nought but bones to give ? Where must we look her ears to find ? And faith, she's left her tail behind !" " Why," says another, " view her scars : She must have left them in the wars." As a warm Yeoman pass'd along He heard the jeerings of the throne And felt a strong desire to know What pleas'd the laughing people so A Parson, Sir," says one, " distress'd, Would sell that poor, that wretched beast ; And asks, I hear, a poi' X or two : I think he'll ne'er get tiiat from you." " If that's the case," the Yeoman said,— " I'll ease his heart, and buy the jade. I'll bid two pounds, my friend, that's plain, And give him back his beast again." « J^^/T'^'' T"''^ the wager lost. And op'd his bag to pay the cost, 'No, Sir, 'says Syntax, " 'tis to you To pay where'er you think it due ' But, as we pass'd the Common o'er, I saw beside a cottage door' ,^ woman with a spinning-wheel. Who turn'd her thread around the reel! While joyful frohck'd by her side Three children, all in Nature's pride • And 1 resign it to your care To leave the welcome bounty there '' The Yeoman, when he heard the joke, In friendly words to Syntax spoke. I, Sir, an humble mansion own. About five furlongs from the town • And there your Rev'rence I invite To go and dine, and pass the night' To-day I give an annual feast. Where you will be a welcome gues*" I love the cloth,— and humbly crave That we may there your blessing have. Come then, and bring your mare along ; Come, share the feast, and hear the song ; And m the ev'ning will be seen The merry dancers on the green." With joy, 'said Syntax, " I receive The invitation which you give • In your kind feast I'll bear a part. And bring with me a grateful heart '' " I," said the Yeoman, " must be gone : But shall expect you. Sir, at one." Nor did the Doctor long delay : To the farm-house he took his way • And chang'd the bustle of the fair, For a kind, noiseless welcome there! CANTO XVII. ^x^y^ ^'l"'"'f '^^?I ^*^^' ^" ^^}^ • Whether along the peaceful vale. Where the thatch'd cot alone is seen, The humble mansion of the green Or in the city's crowded way, xMan—mortal man, is doom'd to stray • You give to joy an added charni. And woe of half its mncrs dismm' iiow iiiucii in every state he owes To what kind Courtesy bcptows- 1 that benign, engaging art Which decorates the human >i«art' And, free froia jealousy and strife, Gilds all the charities of iVe! 1 o ev ry act it gives a grace ; It adds a smile to ev'ry fi\ce ; • 64 ' TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX . And Goodness' self vve better see When dress'd by gentle Courtesy In J 1 M^r*^""' ""^ ^^^ ^o"se he sought, courtesy. Indulg'd the grateful, pleasing thought And soon he step'd the threshold o'er. Pi««f , F^^ ^^^ ^°od Farmer went before • ^ Tha. thankft,? cULX d™e''™"" "rh^fi'*"'' ^"T' ,. While m|^a«Xiddi„gy?o^?S fi^:'' ''^ ^"'^ ^^'^ • All yanish'd from each ample dish. ' The dinner o'er, the bowl appear'd ; Nor did the'^leasanrDo'cto'fall"' '"L?"'^ '^'''' • Ai'^i^°sh'rdrwro\ea'i^^- ''fe^^^^^ -^ » ^-t , Was famous (Sr his figSjg'coZk '"' '""""^ "" "'^ "'"■^<= = in"i,il' '"'?]'? P^'='^ '» 'hase the fox : Indeed, could he a booby bite. Nor was he" ith? ^''h^' t^oyel™"^'"".' '\' "'s"' ' , "I never b:?^^^°e!5^e.or saidr''" "''"'' ""^ '"'^ "«• •Your sold I d'i^n^^''"^PJ';''™•'''' """"ghts betray'd : No%i^!^g^^.?d:rgfmbii^n«''sL'iite?iV""^ •"•-/-- •■ Gaming, my worthy Sir, I hate ■ It nS^^tf- ™'" "^ P°<^''" ^'^rt- Tis the/worst pSon, l"pro'te«, "'" "' "'^='"^ "»■• «a,e ; Of all vile hIbUudes"thTw°ors?""' '"^ fe''" "'Tf ' • And, if you please, I'll lay before vou T' "^"'"''r ^J-^ »«""' ■ Such as, I thirawTng your helrTf "^'^"'^'""^ ^'"^ ' That will in^st^il^n^rcoCs'^ho",^ ''"Z%r ' " Nay » said^'JiTe' s'°' ^°° iJ^/Xam^nl S^ ? "'"'^^'"^ '^■«- -». A^d^o one'i*^e,te 'w'S^'a^^haJ t^" i''f'= "^ '-" '"> "^ > But as you think'it such a'sfn ^ P«v , J?'" ' '°'' ' ^° ""' P^^ ' SYNTAX.-" How many^o^fh lumanlT"^"" '''«'"•" I „ . . . Who to their common honour blind Look not in any path to strav n„t ,^ul in' Who, born with eVry real daim T„w.,X'" /'?"'<"'• '^^''' "-e way : Reject the eood by Nafure ri ™n And scoff n/T"u"''""'» "' ^ame. But, when aXThr^^^^S^^ 'J" *« -"d : , Fortune and Nature had combin'd To fin i,i. *"<"".> prodigality, Whose manly strel^'g^th' ilg^'i'S'^KLt '°""''^ """" ^ Whose cooler moments neve? heard 1 he frantic vow to Heav'n preferr'd • ry SEARCH OF THE PICrURESQVE. 65 ^'as soon begun ; The tear grows big in Virtue's c)c, Pale Reason heaves the poignant si^h • The guardian spirit turns away, And hell enjoys a holiday " Is there on earth a he lish vice ? There is, my friend, 'tis avarice : Has avarice a more hellish name ? It has, my fricnd-the lust of ijam > All this, perhaps, you'll thus deny :— * There's no one, with more grace than I, Lets shillings drop and guineas Hy ! To the dejected hapless friend My door I ope, my purse I lend • To purchase joy my wealth I give, And like a man of lashion live '"' — I his may be true— but still your breast Is with the love of gold possest. Why watch ^vhole nights the fatal card, Or look to dice for your reward > Why risk your real wealth with those Whom you know not, and no one knows ; With maggots whom foul fortune's ray Has rais'd from dunghills into day ; Who would in your misfortune riot, And seek jour ruin for their diet ? I easure it cannot be, for pains Will mingle with your very gains-- Will hover round the golden store. Which ere the passing moment's o'er May, horrid chance ! be yours no more. * Pilnl' ^""^^ yo"/annot use the plea Of beggar'd men- necessity ; Plenty as yet adorns your board, And num'rous vassals own you Lord Your woods look fair— their trunks increase, ' The Hamadryades live in peace ; But cards and dice more pow'rful far Than e'en the sharpest axes are • At one dire stroke have oft been found To level forests with the ground : Have seiz'd the mansion's lofty state, And turn'd its master from the gate. "A youth in wealth and fashion bred. But bv the love ofe- ■ Med Soon found that ample wealth decay ; Farm aft'er farm was pku d Avav' Till, the sad hist'ry to complete His park, his lawns, his ancient seat,' Were all in haste and hurry sold.. To raise the heaps of ready gold ' 1 hey, like the rest, soon pass'd away, The villains' gain, the sharpers' prey ; While he, alas ! resolv'd to shun The arts by which he was undone. Sought, by hard labour, to sustain His weary life of woe and pain • But Nature soon refus'd to give The strength by which he strove to live • And nought was left him but to try What casual pity v, ,\: sunnlv • To stray where chance or hunger led, And humbly ask for scaiiiy bread' One day, to his despairing eyes. He saw a stately mansion rise \ Nor look'd he long before he knew ii.ach v.'ood and copse that round it grew ; For all the scene that seem'd so fair, Once knew in his amastei-'s care Struck with the sight, and sore oppress'd, He sought a bank whereon to rest \ 5 65 (" Hi; pill TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX There long he lay, and sigh'd his grief ;— Tears came— but did not bring relief : At last he tooic hi, tott'ring way Where once he lov'd so well to stray And, press'd by hun-^ -r, sought the gate Where supjiliant Want was used to wait — Where suppliant Wani was ne'er dcny'd The morsel left by gluit'd Pride. But, ah ! these gen'rous times were o'er, And suppliant Want relicv'd no more. The mastiff growl'd— the liv'ricd thief With insolence denied relief-— 1 he wretch, dissolving in a groan, Turn'd from the portal, once his own • But ere ho Hi-n'd, he told his name, ' And ji urc the love of game ; Tlion oj;;^u. u j lavn, for Nature fail'd, /ind .-sorrow o'er his strength prevail'd. Beneath an oak's wide spa-.iding shade His weary limbs he careless laid ; .''hen call'd on Heaven :— (the bitter pray*r Of Mis'ry finds admits-"/"- '-ere !) And ere the sun, with parting la/, Had heigh.on'd the last blush of day bunk and worn out with want and grief, He found in death a kind reli.f! " The oak records the doleful tale, Which makes the conscious reader pale ; And tells—* In this man's fate behold The love of play— the lust of gold.' No moral, Sir, I shall impart ; I trust you feel it in your heart. " ' You're young,' you'll say, * and must engage In the amusements ot the age.' Go then, and let your mountain bare, The forest's verdant liv'ry wear • Let Parian marble grace your hall, And Titian glow upon your vvall • Its narrow channels boldly break, And swell your r-''let to a lake ' fo richer harvests bend your soil. While labour ladcns in the toil • Lncourage Nature, and impart The half- transparent veil of Art. Let Music charm your melting breast. And ?oothe each passion into rest ; Let Genius from your hand receive The bounty that can make it live • And call the Musc-s from on high, Fo ^rive yon immortaUty.' 1 o these the hardy pleasun-? join. Where Exercise and Health combine • At the first op'ning of the morn, O' r hill and dale, with hound and horn, Bold y pursue the • -ibtio p:-ey, And shr re the triumphs of the day : I^or let the evenin^ 'iOur:> roll I- naided by the soci 1 bowl ; Nor should fair Friendship be away. But crown w'th smiles tlie festive day. S;v^ , neca 1 add the jo} they pro\ e Who live ill bounds of virtuov.s love ? Where fond affection fills the heart i he baser passions shr :1 depai t While the babe han-^s on Beauty's breast, While in a parent '. -m aress'd, Each low- bred tho! (it, vicious aim., The pure, domestic .aina disclaims : Virtue inspires his ev'ry sense, Who looks on herub innocence r 1^7 SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. 67 n your heart. Then seek a shield 'gainst passion's strife In the calm joys of wedded life. " This is to live, and to enjoy Those pleasures which our pains destroy : This is to live, and to recei\ The praises which the good will give : This is to make 1 '. use of wealth Which heightens en the flush of health ; Improves the heai i, and gives a claim To a fair, fragrant wreath of Fame." " I thank you. Sir," the Planner said ;— ^ " 'Tis a sad talc you have display'd. How I the poor man's lot deplore ! The more I think, I feel the more : And much I wish my Landlord too Would keep his wretched fate in view ; But while my poor good woman weeps, Behold how very sound he sleeps. I beg that wc may change the scene And join the dancers on the gre ?n." Sa/ now exclaim'd, "The people say lia/pA is so drunk he cannot play •" " Then I'll be Fiddler," Syntax cried I " By me his place shall be supply'd ! Ne'er fear, my lasses, you shall soon Be ambling to some pretty tune, And in a measur'd time shall beat The green-sod with your nimble feet. While \'irtue o'er your pleasure reigns. You're Weir le to my merry strains : While Virtue smiles upon your joy, I'll gladly my best skill employ. For sure, 'twill give me great delight To be your Fiddler through the night. I know full well I do not err From any point of character : To Heav'n I cannot give offence While 1 enliven innocence : For thus to virtuous man 'tis given To dance, and sing, and go to Heaven. Your merry minstrelsy prolong, And to your dances add the song : E'en while you caper, loudly sing In honor of your noble King." Chorl of Peasants. " Strike, strike the lyre ! awake the so nding shell I How happy we who in these vallies dwell ! How blest we li\ e beneath his gentle sway. Whom mighty realris and distant sens obey ! Make him, propitious Heaven ! your ciioicest care ! O make him happy as his people are !" 'Twas thus they rddled, danc'd, and sung; With harmless glee the village rur : — At length dull midnight bid them close A day of j' ,ith calm repose. mnocence CANTO XVIII. Let Grandeur blush, and aink how few Of all the many-colour'd crew. The motley group of h ' " and knaves, Who hour-y prove thcairselves its slaves. W-W:%. m en TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX m" However Fashion gilds thr dress, Attain the expected happiness : Let grandeur blush, and bhishing own iV ^^ - How seldom is to greatness known, That pure and unimbittcr'd lot Which often cheers the peasant's cot • The ha.low'd bhss, the nameless charm. That decorates the fertile farm' Thus byruax pondered as his eye Survcy'd the cheerful family \ Who 'round the breakfast-table seated, W'ith one accord his entrance greeted : At the same time, they all express'd u J 1 ^ J^"^^ sorrow that their rev'read guest Had ordered Grizzle to the door In order to pursue his Tour. Doctor, I'm gnev'd so soon to part," Burst from the Yeoman's friendly heart; "Yet hope, whene'er you this way come', You'll not forget this is your home :— You see how we poor farmers live,— A welcome's all we have to ffive- I3ut that s smcere .o come and try." A few kind words were the reolv' Syntax once more his beast bestrode : He bade farewell, and off he rode. AnH^oTi,^''^"''^^ ^u"^"""^'*^! S^"S^' ^''^' ^>'^' A'-'-ay'd in gay simplicity • And as he pass'd the road along, The blackbird's note, the thrush's sonV Wuh m, ,cal and riative mirth, Seem'd to do homage to h s IS- ?n .r'^ ^i andscape here combined To fascinate the eye and mind' To charm the gazer's ev'ry sense ^ From the commanding eminTnce.' 1 n expandmg plam, with plenty crown'd, -. Diffuses health and fragrance round ; While, on a lofty craggy height, A castle rises to the sight. Which in Its day of strength and pride, ' •D t- ^ ^^^^ °* threat'ning foes defy'd Beneath the mouldering abode In mazy course a riv'let flow'd • And free from the tempestuous gale, Its silent stream refresh'd the vale • The vale the scatter'd hamlet cheer'd, ixru-i .,. ^ lany a straw-roof d cot appeared : While smihng groupes at ev'ry dour Spoke grief a stranger to the poor. With pious thought and eye serene, A«^ .1, . Syntax survey'd th' enchanting scene, SucVar"e tK?fff il^''^^ -^'^^^ '' " ^%^'''^^^ ^^^' Omnipotent with man. And vet hni^ ^f' ^K ^'^'^''l"' P°tT'' ^° "^' tJ^^ creatures of an hour! And yet how oft we barter these. How oft we risk our health and ease Thy best bequest, thy choicest treasure, For follies which we misname pleasure • And slaves to vanity and art, Check the best feelings of the heart ^ He^^d' Tn"d%'^'T ^he ravish'deye; I cannot, wilf not pass it by7 While fetl. • ^.'' P°i^'^^ *°.°^ "'' P""^>^ ^"^ ^"s sketching-book ; While Grizzle m contented mood. Close by her busy master stood When, clouds of dust proclaim'd th' approacii , ,Of something Syntax deem'd a coach. Four wheelsin truth it had to boast, Although what it resembled most Were hard to say : sufifice. this tub V 1 * r' ^^^ ^"^^^ ^" London, whbre a club. Yclept Four-horse, is now the rage, And fam'd for whims in equipage; cctcd happiness lySEARCff OF THE PrCTURESQUE. 69 pursue his Tour. ies to the sight, sembled most in equipage; pasliers ! who once a month assemble : KAA y r ^^^ creel' lors and coachmen tremble : And dress dm colours vastly fine, Drive to some public-house to dine • There j?ame, and drmk, and swear, and then- ' Drive m disorder back again. Now Syntax, with some kind of fear. Beheld thn vnhu^u a^ Though hf.,^£„s,. f t;i^4T.,, Th^ oTS'h-LS.^j'cfil'iV Who held the reins with skilful hand ^* Against both mare and master plann'd. But now the curious Doctor spied The emblem of Patrician pride Which on the panels of the coach »*intian pride, Proclaim'd a noble Lord's approach • Nay, (as the facts will plainly prove it) It was a noble Lord who drove it • For 'tis well known to men of rank A J 1. . ., ^^'■^^ ^'''^ sometimes play a prank And thus indulge themselves in jokes As low as those of vulgir f.,lk<; But 'tis not easy to express The wild surprise, L deep 3 stress Which Syntax felt, when this same Lord ^ ^'stress, A J ,- , , ^' "'^ ^^^^ the flaunting cord : And when the whip, with skilful turn Was ill-applied to Grizzle's stern • That stern, enough to make one shudder, ' Which we all know had lost its rudder • Her rage appcar'd in either eye, And then she neigh'd indiL^na.iflv Such seem'dshe as when erst she bore A trumpeter fo fields of eorc'- When, in the battle's heat at large, ^ * She led whole squadrons to the charge inus Syntax, as she scour'd the olain InHiiirr-^ fi,« ^ i- • "Can I, in this foul conduct sairThe Pee o^t^fl ^ed r^^^^^ Or rather must not Virt^ie frown On%uc"a'hi;htonMide"d' b Thus, then, do Nobles play the fool ? ' A conduct which in my poor school. If mong my boys it dare appear ; If they should ape that monkev there • They for their fun should pay full dearly ^ ' T. . TH, ^ ^ ^^^'P *^^ blackguards most severely. ' But ni not waste another word Uoon this vnlcnr. k^^k t j Iniifr'/ ^?^ brimfull of care And wLt^d^^o^^dl^^Ws m\^S' But sonn'J'^'^f ' "!;^^' ^' ^°""^' ^^^i^h'" theprecincts^ofa po^nd But soon his quadruped he saw. Up to her girths in hay andS* While he who own'd the neighb'ring farm * Prepar'd to raise his weiLditv arm ; ' And, having ji'.t observ'ci the theft, /Ai . •. ^randish'd a horsewhip right and left, (Alas ! It cannot be denied,) To Hv nho.,» ^« /- • 1 > ».. . syntax beheld the harsh inlLt : " ForbeaT^' fe criet "the'^unlSm'emi 70 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Why make her feci the chast'ning thong? blic knows not she is doin"- wronjr. 1 11 pay for al! the straw that's wasted, * And all the hay that she has tasted : Your courtesy I now invoke, So name the cost, and spare the stroke " The Farmer paus'd-as by a charm-^ « r- • '^^S """oPP'tl at once th' uplifted ami : Forgive me Sir, for what," he cried, " Cannot, indeed, be justified • But for my haste, I'll make amends : ^ jusunca, So let us now, good Sir, be friends : That is my house :— you'll enter there, , '^"?' J^ojlias, take the Doctor's mare. At length some buslness^f^^ If^^lummoJ^dlL '^ Whtr n'f '^' h"^^'' ^'' ^ ^°°^ -'^^^"^ T° find some curfous o Wt^ut^' When, lo 1 a dairy met his view, Where full of cream, in order due' fhc pans, the bowls, the jugs were plac'd, ' Which tempted the Divine to taste • Kut he found something better there : A villaLre dimQPl vn,., r, „a e - Attracted his admiring eye ; Who as he oTnfr\ T^^^ ,""'' H^ Novv Syntax, as we all musi know, Ne'S heard T^eh or t^l'^'l? "^^• But mstant^ wish'd to bring relief, To dry'tiTtelr^nf soo^hiX' gri?/ Come here, sweet girl,- he softly said ; ^ ' A ell me your cares— nor be afraid : Come here, and seat you by my side ; You'll find in me a friendly guide Relate your sorrows,-tell the truth ; ^ ^ TTnfnWl^A 1 . J^' '^ '^ ^- ^°^^ ^°"^*^ pcrjur'd youth You have my tenderest sympathy ^ ^ ^ * ^ ' I he list ning mother, who had heard Love talk'd of kindled at the word • And rushing in express'd her rage :'— Axn •. ?^ ^^'^J"^ • ^^^ ^^1''^"^^ • while hoary age Whitens your head, I see vour cvp ia)L- • t . . . Begone, >?ou old, ycJu wSmrgoa^! Your heart sbhTf^U* '""'"'"'; III go and tel my honest spouse The snake he harbours in his honin He'll give such hypocrites their due I'll wnmnt i. ."!, 2- , "^^"^ • \\ hilc, the rude anger turn'd to mirth. ' ^^ _ They all confess the Doctor's worth WWbToyfursJmrWe'tai,^ Vn.^T'' ?^'*"f '" "'^ ='="•-•" * And wlieL.glLa.rr^SX:head fn p^c^.^oTtfeol'^.t \ AV SEARCn OF THE PICTURESQUE. It But ne'er did he to sleep consign His weary limbs, till to the shrine Of Heaven, he had address'd the prayer Which ever finds admittance there. CANTO XIX. The Sun arose in all its pride : — ** Hail the bright orb," the Doctor cried, "That makes the distant mountains glow, And cJcars the misty vales below ! ! let mc bless the power divine That bade its splendid fires to shine Invigorating warmth to give To all that grow and all that live ' Which in the bowels of the earth, IJrings the rich metal into birth ; Or, piercing through the secret mine. Makes rubies blush and diamonds shine : While man, the first, the head of all That breathes upon this earthly ball As freely feels its force as they Of insect tribe who in its ray Pass their short hour and pass away. ' O, what a picture greets my sight ! How my heart revels in delight, While I behold the advancing day O'er the wide scene its power display ! While, as I gaze, th' enchanted eye Drinks in the rich variety i How the gleam brightens yonder tower ! How deep the shade within the bower ! The spreading oak and elm between, How fine those blushes intervene ! Those brilliant lights !— they would demand Claude's pencil or a Titian's hand ! E'en while the distant hills I view. Their orient colours change to blue. The stream, within whose silver wave, Poets might see the Naiads lave' Now, lost in shade, no more is seen To flow among the alders green • But, let the eye its course pursue, Again it brightens in the view • Reflecting as its current flows. Each flower that on the margin blows ! " Hail favour'd casement ! where the sight Is courted to enjoy delight T' ascend the hill and trace the plain, ' Where lavish Nature's proud to reign ! Unlike those pictures that impart The windows of Palladian art From whence no other object's seen But gravel-walk, or shaven green • Pi. •in'd by the artist on his desk ; Pictures that are r^oi pictnresqite. But should not perform my duty Did I relinquish all this beauty ; Nor snatch, from this expansive view, Some pretty little scene or two! " The cot that's all bewhitened o'er, With children playing at the door; A peasant hanging o'er the hatch. And the -inc mantling on the thatch ; While the thick coppice, down the hill, Throws its green umbrage o'er the rill. Whose stream drives on the busy mill, In pleasing group their forms combine. And suit a pencil such as mine. Nor shall I miss the brancliv screen Of ihose fine elms that hide the green, O'er which the tap'ring spire is seen. I'll add no more — for to my mind, The scene's complete— and well design'd. 74 TOL^R OP DOC TO K SViVTaX Anrl fh ' iT"^; T^'"" '''''■"^'^ '"f '^ ^^°'^ P'SS Which wallow in the dirt- And though I hold a pig is good Upon a dish, prepar'd for food I do not fear to say the brute Does not my taste in pa nting su it • Por I most solemnly aver, That he from'genuine t^ste mus err,' Who flouts at grace or character ; ' And there's as much in my old wig As can be found about a pi- I or, to say truth I don't mherit Th is self-same piaurcsgui^l sp?r I! 1 hat looks to nought but what is loughf ' . And ne'er thinks Nature coarse enough' Their system does my genius shock, Who sec such graces in a dock • Whose eye ihQ picturesque admires ' In straggling brambles, and in briers ; Nay can a real bciv.ity see hi a decay'd and rotten tree hate with tliem the trim of Art ; But from this rule I'll nc^er depart In gnindam. Nature's vast collection, To mik. a fair and fit selectioL' Which, wiicn in happy contrast join'd. Delights th' inform'd, well-judging mind " But lo ! the Farmer, at the gate, Proclaim'd aloud, the hour of ei-ht • And Syntax now in haste desccMjds To join his kind', expecting fS Is.' "Well," said his Host, *• another day I trust your Reverence will stay." " I thank you for the offer made, But that can't be," the Doctor said • " I have a weary way to go. And much to see, and more to know ' Indeed so far I've got to roam, A fortnight scarce will tak- me home • And thankmg you for all your care, I mu.t beg leave lo seek my marc "' Gi izzlc was quickly to be found r And, as the good folks stood around Syntax thought proper to disco, rse Upon the Virtues of his 1 o se • Nor d.d he tail at large to teU 'J'hat she had serv'd him passing well' Wh, c he forgot not to bewa 1 Her loss of ears and loss of tai For though, aniong the passing folk. His beast created many a ioke And though the foul and sad disaster ' Oft forc'd a laugh against the master. They should not part while he was able To keep himself and keep a stable ; Nay, to the last, he'd cut and carve, That his poor Grizzle might not starve. Thus as his hist'ry he recounted Into the saddle up he mounted And there for sometime having sat, He clos'd at length his faiwcU chat! He thought it best t' avoid caressing ; So gave no kiss, but gave his blessing. -On home, on book, on fame, intent, The Doctor pondered as he went- At night he look'd his paper o'er, And added to the learned slore-' And many a freighted vessel bore Its treasure to the Brids'h shoro When, as he trac'd the winding coast, In praiseand adm ra on lost* Up-nsing in the distant view. Half-seen throuLrh th.. othnm-.x u,u?r '^^^r ^^^^^I^Z^l^:::^^^ Thus Syntax pac'd along the strand, "'^uuu snoic. Through this fine scene of sea and land • nut nearer now the town appears, The hum of men salutes his ears • And soon, amul the no.sy din, I le found the cornfo.^ s o an i„„' He eat, he diank, his pipe he smok'd ' And with the Landlord quaintly jok'd • But cer he slept, he pass'd an hour In adding soniething to his Tour • I hen sought his couch, in hopes the morn ' Would with new thoughts the page adorn. The morning came— he sallied out To breathe the lir nnrl inr.i. .i. . Where'er he turn'd, his ev'ry sense Grasp'd one vas^s^ene of o^^^^^^ In all he saw there was d.splay'd The proud magnificence of traSc' Syntax an humble scholar bred, ^ ^.c ui iracie. \Vith nought but learning in his head ; Profound, indeed, in classic art. And goodness eignin- m his hcirt Yctforty pounds a year was all ^ He could his fix'S^'rivenue call • I- or which on ev'ry Sabbath-day, '-v«.uuc can , lie went eight miles to preach and pray. His school too, brought but little gains And scarce repaid him for his pains • ' A !f f' !'?/'"''' t? '^•'■\"'' ''"f ^'^^^' ^' fm-nish'd hin'i with bread and m-it And kept the wol without the door, But Syntax still was very poo ' Y Z ' "'f '"^' ^'""'^ ^^"! ''^' ""''^ ^^ keep herself a M tl7s.nar ' Yet he, good man was always seen With scanty coat and f.'nirc mean' '1 hough still he never threw aside " ' Ihe pedant's aii—the pedant's pride. Thus, through the streets of this rich place A J 1- , strutted with his usual grace ; ' And thushe walk'd about the town, As if its wealth had been his own • But of his wealth he could not vapour— ' /T'l- Twelve guineas and a piece of paper (The present of a noble Lord.) Was nil hie r^r^n^«♦-, ,r 1 cr » Though still the lining of his Lt Se'c'r^t cK^&^ear y^^^^^ And now he thought 'twould not be rash To turn the nanei iiL^ Thus, at his breakfast, while he sat. And sodal joiVc tlKmnon c^a ' He took occasion to enquire Who would comply with lis dcs re Who would his anxious wish fulfil, And give him money for hbbiu' An arch young sprig, a banker's clerk, ^ Rcsolv'd to hoax the rev'rend spark. And counsell'd him to take a range „ Among the Merchants on the 'Change Some one, perhaps, may want to send, A payment to a London friend • Hell in your wishes gladly loin. And takp fho rirnff ^^a „„. "". _*:"°.'. The Barber n5w the Doctor shear'd"^ *'"' '"'' """'"• u- . , ^r1 ^^^"^ whipp'd off his three-days' beard, His wig, which had not felt a comb Not once since he hkd quitted home Was destm'd now, with fnz and whirl. To be tormented imoa^f J '■i 1 1 1 11 74 ^Oi//^ OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Ills coat, which long had ta'en thf^ rMc^ wt His gait! rs too"";' fresh ja^nn'd™ ^'''"''' °'''" ''' ''"^'J And now wfth^Sfrcslfn"^^ ""/command , To try in t^^. cZZ^^^^Z^ ^^^' '° ^^^^S^ he took his way, Th- Exchange soon n,et his wond' inVsS"" °''^' "'""' The structure fill'd him with deS *^'" ' Lc n, nt^S K!ii^ °f '-f "S kn-,cdge ! Indeed I entertain a' nofio"' (I spe'ak'the tC" if'^S ' Though we in Holy Scripture i^ad TW T »*' T'!.'' ""<= devotion,) In wealth, the^itfes of thclorfd ^'' """ ^'''°" "'" '^""^d That e'en he^ me^cSL h^!"?"?' "UR ^""^ "nfuri'd. Were richer tha, 'tl e 'o^^'^r 5t a^^'h '",?""? ••"«!*« drinkihg well • Vet,with all their power aK'l t^.WulT'th "''"?" '" thcifsta e Hecnter>d"no"''' ''' T^"S= as I.iver,So ^^ "''>' "' " "^"' "' =^''°oi "e entei a now — and hcairl wif^,« t-u A sound confus'd, the se enade ^nf''T'"' '?art-a buzzing din, At length his penetrating eye W^l n'f ™' ^T' ""'^ ''"^y '^^de Some one in^'wh'o'se sleek,!^^i i*„'"Zr""" *•""' '° ""^^ He could th^ lines of kindnes trice' ' And soon a person he address'd " Wh^f P/'.""'^'' .projected from his breast • Xln„ "^''.TS "■'"' S°od.humour frauS ' WJttn with ,nP "^ """ '"y "»" he sough '■' ^'^q;:^?;s!:^l^^ j,°^™ ■- th„s disced his case. The favour which 1 ask to grant. And hJ,'^,?''"'P'' ^°"'" ""' '■<=f"se The draft is good-and, on my word It t»= " "°"'^>' "'=" ' >>'«"' i Merchant.-" Thit ml i„T*' " R'"'-'"' f'"" » Lord." sV.^x^a-'rd:;rL-;esrs,?;X^ ?$oTd^t';a.^o"^S'"-°™^ -.Boct-iESSiir'"^^"-"'""^^"- 'Sv.,.j>,l!!.t:, I hi ^e^no:e"r[t?o?V°" ■"■^'™'' ^ WHhm the precincts of this town " ""^ With all your learning and vour ivnrH, Tothinkwr£^.et^S';r''^°^^^^^^^^^^^ i o learning wc make no pretenre • Rnf n.., ^ ^i^^'^ ^^'^^^'^ to be bit ? For learned men we do ;,ot's'eek i ""An'ilf T^L' tl^i? ="_—,- I f:;l,« Sy NTAX "-" -' ris my dehght and happiness ■a?,d htliL?-* ' do profess- IN SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. t| And Homer's page I oft have read, Through the long night, with aching head. When my wife wanted mc in bed " ' Merchant.-.*' Then go to Homer if vo,i will And see if he'll discount your bill ' ^ " "^'"^ 'Tis ! mn f°'^ strikes-Good bye,' old Sinner I i IS time for me to go to dinner." A K. ^ Y"t^ the monies !" said another. A bearded, Tsraelitish brother. "Tis a suspected bil I find : T},,f vm. t«m Well, we must .„ke the cWrof Se"- °' '"'' ' "■" '''■"'• ■?■■ '^nty pounds the draft is made • ' " -^ '"" ■": '•pfj:^e:f- a He- fi^=,iv£sr' •- «- Each n,a„;.% t Lr "^{^ "' '^f " .' , , And, when he does his wan Veto ^' To nhv .oT"''"""'" '^^''" ' Commerce, I env/not thy gail?'^ "" ^'"'^ ^'"o^'oner? Thy hard-earn'd wealth, thy aoldcr mln« CFor that's hard-earn'd, 'tho^g^hga'^nf, ease The dangerri:&1hTv"o"^?,K '"""-i"--) , ' Whose hungry maws L dail/b'e"^ On the 2L1^^:i ^^J'/Zf.Z '■ Whose virtue, talents, knowledge, health '^^'"•■'*^'^ ""'■■' Are all combin'd in that wordAi^S ' 'Tis a proud scene of moncv'dstrifr Fn™„,^' S"l poor and ricTwufall th?y w" "^'^^^^^'^^^ of life ; r««f u^^" ^"^ ^^ ^^"Sth a common grave ' Continue, bounteous Heav'n i to m^^ a r i- , These wighttTspis'e" Z', 'causi ^nl'^L r'^r'' '-""' P"™'^" .fear„oD!^^,CLrdT^'^''"Vr^ ' 'Twould to my profit be and fnm„ r.- 1 , ' f'™'''''' "<" ■'" "'« '^"--'■'■''<' • ,^ ^ ^ Ca'nCse p^ud^m" Sa^l r/t'h': PX^^!'"'^'^ '"^ "'""' ' More he had said— but now his bell Thl^ n That the good°fo,t'/s'rd!,ld van hS.Vr° '■""""' '° '^" EutSy„.a.^d! 'noTsfe^-j:;!;;C'^''°"\f,t . . tjvM'PAv » T — ^o the man ran^- t n his ear ^^rt^ ^T ^ f'"f>^' "^^ ^'''e'^^' ^^hat's all this out With your fierce bell ?" '' Beadle. ~« To ring you out." Of b''.llI^.?TV'"' '^'^'^ "^'^ to hear the din Ot bells that always rang me in " Vnshut'-^-rJ^ f'V'' '^ '^y' ^^'^ >'o« to know, i 11 shut the gate if you don't tro : I sure shall leave you in the lurch, Foj now, good Sir, you're not at cht,rrh » 1 nis i& no temple ; ^>r 'tis cIpti- tt j Norwmisayl..-.;.„dcontwes ll tt t: SK^&J^!-:,: 96 lOUK OF DOCTOR SYNT \X pv-d' K f ,:;ll^ilt"^. wr f '™ '" "'^ J--VS end. When it will mike his Lordship snort A^'^T'^ ""=!? ''"' •''"d board How near I «as1he''be1^g chea l"*"' "'"^'"^ '""^"^ ■''•■P''" i And how his ancient name «a; "eated." CANTO XX. Thus as he spoke, ,hcre pass'd alonir And seemy 'sTperiir/i the .'"3?°'' "' ""'' ='"" '^"''^ -*«. His small-clolhes sat so close and ticht • llttT' '!^" J"' "■"■= ^^"'^k •->"'! b?sht • Wi^ L i^'"u'P"''> "■'^"--'rm'd with steel ' Was seen to shine on either heel ' I-oaded with sfals, and all bespangled IIishatas„^lirg'te^„;-^^^^^^^^^ He f unl his"?S;1;,/o^„r/i'™-'.'-'<' '"^ "-"^-PP''' h-d : Here I can some importance clahn " ""^ " '''"'■•« ">»• Nay there are fe';:iv"it"h~this";^™" ""«»•„" "•^'"'^. My house of trade is in this stree " A few mT"'" |."''«--'ntial renowa ifl nil f)V 1 y country seat ; if e'e'r vou7ee ^A W ^^^''^"'■^^9^ rural pride ; Syntax.-"- Fie fie .roocl s[? r "^ ^^"7 ^'''^^ ^^^^n me." To hear a fellow-'hrist'i.frstear • ''""'^ ""''' you must wen un.;^;;^;;:;;;;;;- ;;::;-;^TVfbui tnck m .^ . down celestial ire, O r n . 7 i " ^'^'^' ^^^^^'O" •' Jty of my cloth, ' Wlionivr f^l}'^^^'!,''' ^ '^"^'^^'re : And will draw ..„.„ cciestiai i i;.:!^I !',^ "^^ ^"^y o<" m cloth. Whn.eVr VV:_"""^''."'" ^ '^^qune : ^i;; »i puo, jjaison — vcrv nnnr— -'v^i J -'^-ir, to ciifck an oath Bu. X„ rm in the paKLeh. c'r^^t^e S'tt S; /N SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. Nay, in your^Chage, wf ^^^03 4^ ;,f',UTlh'ar^i',t;; '^^Z .= In that proud place, where, I am told, ^ mainiain , Iherc soriietimcs pour down showers of gold • But not like that we read of Jove At the iame time, I trust mv name Mn f ^/ ^""^ ^^'^ P''^^^^ ^^-^1^'' J This draft, with most becoming nrace oounty. H« ft , f "^^^^ °^ goodness in his face, ' soft ^o^'^^^^^^^^^ He said, indeed, it was not much ; And here, S^. ^^1 "^^^ ^'^'^^ ^^^ ^^.^ ^ ^ r;?';-hich, myself and this grS Voir " ""'"^'' ^°' '"'^ • Of these rude raffs, oecame tlie jeer. Permit me. Sir, to show the paper To its full vlluSlcco'd ?-^"pcK's 'sf ""'" ^T"^ ' >u uuacc orQ — i crhaps. Sir, you may know my Lord." It^ hisT^.h n^ "" h""i.^vcll,-'tis his hand-writing.- it IS nis Lordship's own inditing : ** 1 11 give the coin ;-Why, blood and 'ounds ; I wish 'twere for five hundred pounds ! He is a Lord of great discerning ; His friendship proves your store of learning ; He s not more known for ancient birth, Fnr nil *i, * , " ^^ "^^ ^*^^"" of private worth : "' " '"gfK^h-m^ ., ,.„ -h^h^r- ^ -- - = At least one trader to your mind " Syntax now smooth'd his angr'y look. In n fi«. And straight prepared to show his Book a fine ^Z^l^^St^^^^^.^ he was treated , ien minutes nass'd in frj-^nr"-..- -.»-.-.«= ' At length the'bus'ness waV arran^d • And - t»,/n^ ^""'^ was done,-the draft nas chantj'd • And, .. the Doctor plac'd his note In a small poufh iithin his coat, 78 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX There," said the 'Squire, "there's another! I ve match'd it with its very brother, A J 1. , ^ ^^"^ °^ England is their mother ; And when they're offer'd to her eye, She'll own them as her proeenv So tell my Lord, that I, for one, Am proud to do as he ha^s done ^ Nor IS this all, my learned friend ; * Here our acquaintance must not end ; So vmf.^i^n """' f ^r^ants wait, All in due order at the gate : Fo/a few Hn^"" along and see My rural hospitality 1 01 a few days we will contrive To keep our spirits all alive : 1 11 send the groom to fetch your marc, So laugh at thought and banish care." Thus off they went— and four-in-hand, tj * r ^^f^^'^ briskly tow'rds the promis'd land : Syntax first told his simple story. And then the 'Squire detail'd his glory MR.— — -" Now we're away in chaise-and-four, I am a Merchant, Sir, no more, At least, whene'er I thus retire, To flourish as a country 'Squire • In learned labours some proceed, But I prefer the racing steed ' ?n Ttudv 1"S^'°" ^ ^f ^^s ascend ; I to the^^acing-course^aitend :" In study, I ne'er wander far ; Mine is the Racing- Calendar. While wuh keen eye the Heralds see ' 1 he long trac'd line of ancestry, Give me a Horse's pedigiee Others some pow'rful station boast ; But let me gain the winnKost Yo^'l^t" r^''' wth babes to play, But I prefer the FiTy^^ncrgl .' You talk of men of wit and parts. Of the Jeep sciences and arts ^ Give me the science that will teach The knowing one to over-reach ' And, as for pictures and such things, Which Taste from foreign countries brings ; A brood-mare, in maternal pride, With a colt trotting by her side Ort'^l ''y\T''' P'^^''."^^ ^^^ '^^'^"^ "e»-« '" triumphant car,' Or sea-born Venus weeping o'er Adonis, wounded by a boar « SYNTAX.—" These points, good Sir, I can't discuss : I know no steed but Pegasus." ax^,?" — 7r~ " ^"^ off liis wings,— I've got a horse Shall run him o'er the Beacon Course ; And, though Apollo should bestride him, I'll back my horse— for I will ride him." A ?u ^?^^*^ ^P^^'^^' ''^ ^"^^ °^ *''^^S' "^Vhich a full age had felt the breeze. And half that time, at least, had made A long cathedral aisle of shade Appcar'd in view, and mark'd the road Which led to this brave 'Squire's abode. Whose stately chambers soon possest The Doctor as a welcome guest. 1 he dinner came— a sumptuous treat ; Nor did the parson fail to eat In the same way he us'd to do— As much as any other two. The cakes he munch'd— the wine he quaff'd. His tale he told — the Ladies lauc^h'H • And thus the merry moments pass'd. Till cap and slippers came at last. At length his balmy slumbers o'er, Morn smil'd, as it had smil'd be And as, without our care or pain, before, It will not fail to smile again j her progeny, e has done ; at the gate : hospitality. its all alive : I'd his glory, bur, :ry 'Squire ; :antile care, cing steed : rse attend : J- Calendar, *s pedigree, nning-post. lily's neigh. 3 and arts ; )ver-reach : •y her side, iphant car, oy a boar." icuss : rse the breeze, i of shade, )me guest, fail to eat other two. ne at last. I'd before, ile again j AV SEARCH OF THE PICYURESQUE. 79 When Syntax, having piov'd as able At breakfast, as at dinner table Begg'd leave with due respect, to say He must pursue his anxious wav! *• Well," said the 'Squire, " before you go, ^ I shall my stud of racers show." So off they went ;— from stall to stall He shew'd the steeds, and nam'd ihcm all ; Dcscrib'd their beauty and their birth ; Their well-earn'd fame and golden worth ; The various feats they all had done. With plates which they had lost and won. At length the astonish'd 'Squire saw Poor Grizzle to her girths in straw " That, Si'" said Syntax, ** is my steed ; But thoug ! can't detail her breed, I sure can tell what she has won— Those scars by Frenchman's sabre done. I cannot brag what she has cost ; But you may see what she has lost " *' Where," said the 'Squire, '' are her cars .?" Quoth Syntax, " You must ask the shears ; And now, perhaps, her switchy tail, Hangs on a barn-door, from a nail !" The Doctor then began to state Poor Grizzle's character and fate Who was her dam, or who her sire, I care not," says the merry 'Squire : " But well I know, and you shall see. Who will her noble husband be • Yon fam'd grey horse, of Arab birth, * A princely steed, of nameless worth." « The match is very grand indeed," Says Syntax, " but it won't succeed : Our household is not form'd to breed. My dearest Dorothy and I Have never had a progeny • Our fortune has more wisely carv'd ; Had she borne babes they must have starv'd : W^hat should we do with such dear elves, Who scarce know how to keep ourselves !" " Pll hear no more," the 'Squire replied ; ' *' The scheme shall be this moment tried, Gtiszle shall be young Matchcm's bride. You are a very worthy man And may the depths of learning scan • But m these thmgs you're quite a dolt ; You'll get a hundred for the colt' Pll have my whim— it shall be carried :" — So Grizzle was that morning married. And now the 'Squire invites the stay Of Syntax for another day " Your mare," he said, " we'll onward send, Ty'd to the London waggon's end ; When she's got forty miles, or more. We'll follow in a chaise-and-four • At the Dun Cow, upon the road. Grizzle shall safely be bestow'd • Ana there, my friend, or soon or late, Her master's coming may await ' You'll neither lose nor time nor space — Your way raj going to a race, Where Pve a famous horse to run ; And if you do not like the fun. Why you may then iDroceed to town With my best wishes that renown And profit may your labours crown. n. So TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX To-morrow, by the close of day, Wc shall find Grizzle on il e way.» " lust as you please, he Doctor said ; " Your kind commands bhail be obey'd : I think myself supremely bless'd By noble minds to be carcss'd : 1 lie knul protection you impart Pours oil of gladness on my he:Ht " The Ladies now dcsii-'d to see His journey's pictur'd history ; The book he show'd, which provM a bribe For those kind fair-ones to subscribe : And, while they felt the genVous pleasure Of adding to his gi'owing treasure, The 'Squire, to keep ua joke alive, Had bade his stable folk contrive Lie the good Doctor's Grizzle-marc Was yielded to t le carrier's care • Ere on her voyage she set sail. To furnish her /ith cars and tail. Grizzle was soon a crop no more, As she had been some weeks ! fore Nor was it long before her stump Felt all the honours of the rump : And thus equip[j'd with specious art, She pac'd behind the carrier's cart. Their breakfast done, the following day, The 'Squire and Syntax bounc'd away ; And, ere the sun had set at eve, The Dun Co7v did the sage receive : Where Grizzle, her day's journey oer, Had a short time arriv'd before, hyntax no.v felt a strong desire, To smoke his pipe by litchen fire, Where many a country neighbour sat. Nor did he fail to join the chat : When having supp'd and drank his ale And silence seeming to prevail. He slowly from his pocket took. His trav'lling memorandum book ; And, as he turn'd the pages o'er. Revolving on their curious lore, riv exciseman, a right village sage, (For he could cast accounts and g.ge) Spoke for the rest— who would be ploud To hear his rev'rence read aloud. He bow'd assent and straight began To state what beauty is in man • Or on the surfac; u* ihe earth, Or what finds, in its entrain, birth : With all things .» V. ir due degrees, That live in air, or love the seas ; In Oil i . .rees and plants that grow, In all the various flowers that blow ; Of all tilings in the realm of nature, Or senseless forms, or living creature : In short, he thus profess'd to show I'hrough all the vast expanse below From what concentcr'd state of things ' The varying form of beauty springs. But as he read, though full of grace, Though strong expression mark'd his face, Though his feet struck the sounding floor. And his voice thu idcr d through the door, Each hearer, as th' infection crept O'er the numb'd sense, unconscious slept ! One dropp'd his pipe-another snor'd, His bed of down an oaken board ; xhQ cobler vawn d then sunk to rest. Tljq ri"" ••.^riM-'Jnrr .-.« !--:= v.^^^.-i ! All slept at length but Tom and Sue^ For they had something else to do. on ii e way.* > be carcss'd : tn my hcut." ur'd history ; oik contrive, irrier's care ; :ars and tail. I'ecks 1 cforc, jf the rump : age receive ; riv'd before, kitchen fire, >in the chat ; idum book ; curious lore, is in man ; raih, birth ; r'e the seas ; anse below, ken board ; And thiXh t- ? ^^^^"^ «'^bout him He frovtn'dc li kin f^ ^ '" *^°"' J'"" Caught u/^^fc^- --;^ l^is heid, CANTO X.ih Sleep to the virtuous ever kinrl And, « on fh^enS shed' i^'?'^ "''^'<' ""-O- Of tea and toasrhr.oolctsfi ' Then /1^ 'r^^ ''i^ J^'^^y to n„„.,. But v,hen it came it made in staTe 'l /»i^ "" ""'' '° "Ting^l^!'™!': Go tell your Ostlej. to appear; ' ' ' TJTL''''"T "™'^ '"e e i Th.'n°h"" S?" ''<"'°'-'= h™ stinds ''" "■" '•="<»' here." For all voir corn/an^l '^ZZy" "'^ ■""« »"" «"= = n. n,a.e ..fir:;rr;rrl!-li7cr^^^^^ t S^ """ "''" '""' Of pamted eanvas werc'hc? ear:'' Upon hfr",? ''"""'^ ^onTCr. That even s/nt'haruiTdare" """^^'^^ "'' He said no more— but kenn'd th? .ni^ w " "'^ metamorphos'd marA So trotted off-and kind?y"ent ^"""^ S^^?° V"?"" «f vulgar7olk Now. as ;,s journey he^pursu'd He th" VrX'for.h'" '"« "--'S.' ExpeafhaU^f -Tf °" *"-' tKt hSre"'''"""'°«* (Though I S^oVecS in tytll^f -"^Vich T""' . Yet, as this is the day of rest a • '^''^ °^ ^'"^^t importance fnn 'i To the first church l\tr!Lr ^IfT''^ ^°^^^ ^^' m?n and b'st^ Thus as he spoke, a viCe chime iT ^^X solemn duties the?!'' And soon a ru/dy Curate cfme, " To wh^mT^ '' V' ^^''v'ce time His rank and literary fame ^^ ^'^^'^^ ^^^^ his name. And said, as he'd been us'd'to teachmo- vvacii, in atic time, and with dnn ^^Z Syntax display'd his with due grace face. preaching gave the foiling distu«T"' ^■^ttcd up the aisle ; A:'L^llS^fS~-oars. MICROCOPY RESOLUTION TEST CHART (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) 1.0 I.I 1.25 4.5 1^ mi us l£ Hi u Bibb 1.4 2.8 3.6 4.0 2.5 2.2 ZO 1.8 A APPLIED ilVMGE inc 1653 Cast Main Street Rochester, New Yor' 14609 USA (716) 482 - 0300 - Phone (716) 288- 5989 - "^ax Si fOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX " The subject I shall now rehearse, ^ti A ^^ J^^^ they2////,— the seventh verse. "Thut^Tf;^. fi!"" '^^r^''^'' % ^^'''^y^ ^' "''"' ''^<^^'' io misery? This IS a truth we al can tell ; In ev'ry state we know it wel . The infant m his cradle lies, And marks his trouble as he crTes • Irom his young eyes the waters flow, The emblems of his future woe • His Cheeks the varying scenes display That mark a changeful April day : Symbols of joy and hope appear And now a smile, and then a tear. The years of puling childhood o'er, The nurse's care he knows no more • The Learning's discipline assign'd, The Tutoi^ forms his early mind • And hopes and fears alternate rise In all their strange vSes' How oft, disdainful of restraint. His voice lifts up the loud compla nt! While stern correction's pow'rful law p^iiut, Keeps the young urchin-mind in awe. And some dark cloud for ever low'rs XT 1. 7? ^^^^^^^ ^"^ ^"Sht and playful hours. Nor, when fair Reason's steady ray Begins to light Life's early day • Though the thick mist it instant clears, ^ ^ ' It dries not up the source of tears ; Nay, tis Its office, as we know, Sometimes to make those tears to flow For now the Passions will impart Their impulse to th' unconscious heart Will mingle in Youth's ardent hours, iin-M T^ -^nd plant the thorns amid the flow'rs ; While Fancy, in its various guise. With plumage of a thousand die. Flits round the mind in wanton play inousana dies, To bear each serious thought awa\\ ' The Pleasures seldom tempt in vain To join their gay, deluding train • Courting the easy hearts to stray ueiuaing train, A J , . , ^^°"} Reason's path and Wisdom's wav • w]5i -how oft the senses cloy With what is calPd the height of Tov I While pale Repentance comes at last, To execrate the Plef sure oas^t —At length to finish'd manhood grown ^^^^^ure past ! , .^ , . The world receives him as its own. ' Life s active busy scenes engage Each moment of maturer age • Here Pleasure courts him to her bow'rs "''^^"'^^r age . Where serpents lurk beneath the flow'rs! -Ambition tempts him to explore The height where daring spirits soar xKiw u ' Y^'!^ "^^^l^^ presents the glitt'Hng ore, ^ ^ ^' Which mingles m each mortal plan, And is the great concern nf n,o« -Thus Pleasure, Wealth, or love of pow' ^''' ''^"'^"' Employ man's short or lengthen'd hour In youth or manhood's early day, Pleasure first meets him on the way. The Syren sings, his eager ear Drinks in the sound so sweet fn Ti^^t- . To the delicious song a slave, He leaves his ves" dtoX ^^I ? 1 nc neiin lorsaken, on it goes, ' "«»v . The lightnings flash, the whirlwind blows- the furious tempest toss'd, The gay, the gilded bark is lost.' When, snn^^ m SEARCH OF THE PICTUEESQ V£, g . Eut should he, 'mid the oce.in's roar, TT,o« , A,^ ^^^^ "P°" ^°"^e distant shn,e • p .1-1 , . ^^^^ "^a" of sorrow and of woe • am bids mm to somn cell romiV Tv, i ' . /- , " Nor is Ambition nio 4 sea Je Nor lol?.'.'" n "^ Contrition there. Within whose breast is seen to dwell Thf f '"s wh,ch they endure The love of rule, thethiistof dowvLw "^ ^^'''^''?1 •■- Angels fell. 'Tis the fierce fever of he soul Th^? n f 17 ''' ^r ''''^"^' ''"''^"^"'l ^^o"'*; Whose burnh^^^lt ^^^^^^^ ^"^^^ ^^troul ! While H^tr^cl'T P'' • '^ r ^'\'i'"^ l^^^-^^^i-^ kno^v^ ; '"''^''"c^n^S^r^^Jt^SeSf^^^^^^^-^ Enjoyment Sr^^sv^S^-^^^^iy-^^^^ , ^■^'hene'er the nearer height's e^inV] a 15^ P" (m'; '''''^' ^^"^ ^he fire. R„fnf^ o .^^'°'''.^''''''^"^-^^eight shall crown ihcwho^e iSut oft, as the ason-anf 'rninc tu \ ■ ""Oic. The giddy view each sef.se inml. Tn f.-'' ?''J'" °^'''' ">" ■■"«' P^"'^. The faithless friend, tli-i^suk'^nff^ T- '°'"' '^'l'' '"^'P >«= ^^"^ He headlong falls-a nrev o 5 nf ■'°"''-' '''' IP ""= e"'Ph below ' "Now 1^^ den.an^^i^';,^:>';,|,^7™ """ '"^""^• As in each ^^^^1^1.^1^^ "^'"'^ ■^""^J'/' , , . Who fights for wealth as well a"s fame • but, though all wish its pow'rs to wear ^ Of nil f].« P''°\l' ^^^ .'°"'^'' °^ "^''^"y a care. ' —Of all the vices that infest The nin-lipn= r.f ^^ i The love of Mammon is the wor=;t Ti?^ ff *"^ ^'"'^^" ^^''^ast, Pleasure's gay moments may hnmrt SnJ! iT'^ '^''^^'/^'^ ^"^ ^^^"rst Ambition, Too, we often fiid ^ Some gladness to the human heart ; Biit love if riches ever bear's T^'e'token cVthe T^'^^"^'"" ' We see one base unvarying vice Tn f l?-?t i V ^ r ^'^ ^^^^S' It only lifts its pray'r to H?av'n T' h.r2 \1 ^""^^ ^^'''' of Avarice : Nor does it e'er the df? rem v p "^crease the store already given ; Vptl!t':&^^^^ -^ 1-d chee^4 ra>; n„ „ • • /^"'i''? Want scarce finds the scanty brea.; ll *!Pi"A':'-T_ ""=. "Wp^''^ eye The flowin" Lars^l'^i.^,,, . ^^* o^-'^^a i^ i"c naKea lorm The vcstmenf thnt ^.',;u"r^ •'. For gold it courts the sleepIessSt ' '" '^''^ " '^''"^ And toils through day's returning tight ; 84 TOUR OP DOCTOR SVNTAJC . f'Jay aggravate the time to come • ■ithin^May lash the unavailing sin ? _ I IS W3ll if he escape Despair ure IS not cro.^' 'd ' Nor these alone ;— the cool deceit— 1 he trcach'rous heart—the hidden cheat— In that one term he comprehends ^ ' T> . , ^^\^H'"^''*^^^'"c'g^^'^ou''hood, and friends mi, no !— h s throbbmg anxious breast Contmued doubts and fears molest. See how he trembles with affricrht ' A J u- 1 1 y^'^'^^'^ Justice claims the widow's right And bids hmi at the bar appear, 1 b answo.- m fT.« n i , . 15y restoration to atone For rninv n w?- 1 9'^ ''''^ ' *^^''' Nay, a still far severer doom MaT^e^ Hf hf .•'' V' ^^°"^ ' The scourge without, the scourge within^--" - ''^*^' *'"''-^-° "^""^^ • And, after all his toil and care, ^xr.l^"^•^'f^'''^'^" rieasu.. ,0 .x.u ^x ^' . .-1, • , '"^ '■"""' ^^ ^'^^'^^^ ^"^ fortune lost, Vet still It leaves a void behind— Ar^d .hlnno. c -c .^ S^e^^»-r!s^j^^ P^~^ Say, what pres^ its lo^JSf doom P^ ri^J? TS J^J ^^ -,1-^1 " \\'hat, though Ambition holds its pow'r ' 1 o Life s extreme, but certain hour Js not Its most exalted joy Enrnmhr..''i ^ruu .1 „ . And, on its proudest, loftiest height sTdoo^iTn^ '""'J^f? ^"^J ? Say, could it'ever gu'ard its La f Fronf ?Va l^^ ^P^'f '• ]t cannot shut th' averted eve ir ^^^'^"Z^' ^.V.^^ Lnvy's dart! E'en from its most asp Hngh-ow mT ^^.f'HV'^''' "^^^-^^''^^ ■ " t-kV 1 Axr^ , , ? ^^ ^^^'^t beho d a grave below Though Wealth should haply be attain'd '^ ' . . I^v fair pursuits, with honour gain'd \ ct in Its tiain how oft we see Tho ir i r Intcmp'rance yields its foul delight And feeds tfoohi^"™' °^"^'SF>'- While Luxury in a thousand ways To scnL.l .n^ 1 ''°"' " ^"''^^'^^' And lights up in the mortal frame DiseSs slow f '""^ ^'''^''' Nor will tl^ ri'sTn^periotKs co?3"'^"^^^ '" ^"^^^"^ -^ ^ Dissolve to genial warmth for gold • Time will not one short moment stay. Though millions lay athwart his way ; Nor all the wealth that Croesus bore Can add to Life one moment more. The regal palace and the cot Are suh.Vrf f. ore . The rich and poor, and small and gre~at;" ^"""""" '°^ ' Alike must feel the stroke gf fate i Virtue alone, we ought to know, i^ ,.,,1 j^.^pj^^^^ ^^^^^^ . /A' SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE. ipinghand; Ircarygatc. 2S his gold : c his store, ire reveal ? han'b tear, has done ! J to come : aihng sin ? e Despair. the mind. 110 more; de to lart. 1 a tomb ! ise alloy ? :l delight ? ivy's dart! nortality : ve below. )f misery. " -^ctite ; trays, lie, flame. 3le Jown; ner poor. I health ; ling ray ; "On iot ; s below ; «5 And yet how oft her kindness proves, iiy toil and pain, the child she lovp^ .W C^::4"t;f ot"„^ s^^^ «-'^' '^ 0" W >'. Trcachcys po.V : "Who then Will venture to dechr^ Th.^I ^^"P•^ °^,^'?'^ Hypocrisy. But Bn.hren, letttt 1^^^ ' "^'^'''''^ -"--'s heii^ I hat Heaven's imjust, when we sustain n ve • ^^'^"otted term of Care and Pain Our life m such a mould is nsf "-r- • • . Tis but a state of Sal here t "i" '' 'r "°* "^^^<^ '^ ^^^^ J A scene of contest for a nrize '?u . "^ °'' ^, P"^'^*" sphere : .. ^ In better worfds and brighter s Jes '" '"°'^'' '■"^'"^ ^^^^' Here doom'd a painful lot to beir rw w " • To struggle with the woes of lifo ' To ^^''^PP^^^^s is treasur'd there. T'opposf the Passi^ra'ttvi se, Ind d£k tfrtilT"^"^^ ""'^'^ '' T' improve our naiure, and to hnnr ''"" , ^^ ,. "^''^ ^\"« propensities ; Of human woes-and hus fSfil t P""' •""'"' V^S.''^"o"ed share That forms the granch lyster o us nlnn J a/''",^'"' *^^ ^'^'■"''^J ^vill, "Man is, ind?ed, by Helve^^^^^^^^ man.' As suited to his sta^eLd mZ , A ^i's'uet' S'.nd^/ ?^^^^ ^" '^^ ' His work well don<'— his libo„r Aw i^^^' *'^'^' ^^"^ ^"'^c creature ; ^, , T^ "^ claims the never-fadinjr wreath • ' Here Syntax tt^^t'lt fittclole ■!l^ " ^""^^^"^^^ "--'' AiKl after cJrl^intjms^anTf^'^^^^^ • ,, Nay, such attention he had g^en To h"^"^'^ "??-'^"^ ^'^ '-^PP'^-^^^e : That neither did he sl^ep nor Inore A ^ F ^^"'''',"'* «^ ^^^'^^^n, Then quickly issuin- from 1^. n" ~Lr ^ '''""^^^ ^^ver known before " Sir, ;our dfsiour"e%o J^^^^^^ ^^ ^^ank the Doctor too While I, alas ! anAut a^sinn r So viu'rn?"" tobeagreat Divine, And, shortly after ev'nin/nra^V 'Air ? ^^°»^^}v^th me to dinner; The Doctoilffihe hoL^'S'sfo^ " "^^^ ^'^^ ^^--- ' The dinnerltfpS;^5Slf P^^^--" board: ' And Syntax could perform Sm' both ^/f '^'{i"^ ^'^^ ^" '-^PP^^'^^ = At length the eatables removT The '9nnf ' 7"^" ^' ?"^' °^^^^^ ^^^^h. 'Squire.-" Have you mu^h Jin . ^'^^^^^^^ ^alk he lov'd. Syntax.-'' An answer Sh- T^^^f ' "' ''^'''"^ ^^^ ^^^^ ?" I never hunt, nor bear a^un • ' t L """^ "'•^^ ^^''^ ' Learning's the game which I nur.,,^ • \T ^"^ ^'""^ "°^ ^^^^^ ^^^ fun. ButJ have hef d^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^ ^Port in view : Though on my ^abLTt fs^'a r'r^'*^'-^^ ^<^^y^^o...X ; Oft when I rise at early morn AnH i, ^f ^ 'i'* °"^ °^ ^'o^^^r there. I'm forc'd from ti,o7:Z:?f!"' • ^"^ ^^^^1 the cheerful, echoinn- born And when "they babWrin^iheir dfn '^^ ^'""' ^ P^'^ «^ ^^I^^'^'oys I Nay, if they should be found at fault I rm. ''"" ^ f ^'^'^^ whipper-in Syntax now told his s^y c?er ' ^^T^, '"^^'?\f'^ ^^ ^ °"8ht." luxy o er, a story told so oft before; m w Hi I 86 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX When soon the 'Squire began to feel A slumber o'er his senses steal •— The Curate, too, bemus'd in beer, Was more disposed to sleep than hear. Says Syntax, " See the effect of drink ! ^ T Ml ^^^''^^''^ spare the souls which cannot think ! l.ut 1 will not then- sleep molest ; The Sabbath is a day of rest." In short his words no more prevail ; 1 here now were none to hear his tale : He strove another pipe to smoke, But there were none to hear his joke • So on his clbovv he reclin'd, And thus the sleeping party join'd. —The clf)ck struck ten ere they av/oke, Wiien a shrill voice their slumbers broke ; In such a tone it seem'd to come, That Syntax thought himself at home : bo, having yawn'd and shook their heads, They wish'd good-night, and sought their beds. CANTO XXII. The clock struck five when Syntax woke : The soun(;ling door his slumbers broke : \ . hen a soli female voice related That breakfast and her master waited : Up rose the Doctor, down he went. With joyful look and heart content Well," said the 'Squn-e, " I hope you'll stay And pass with me another day ; The sporting season's coming on, And something now is to be done • For I must breath my dogs a-bit, And try my gun at some torn-tit! \ ou 11 take a stroll around the fields, And see what game my manor yields." says Syntax "'Tis not in my power To pass with you another hour : While you perform your sporting feats, I must be tramping London streets : You, therefore, will my thanks receive, m ,r. . °^ "°^^' ^^^' ^ "^"st take my leave." The Squire reply'd-" All I can say- Another time a longer stay " He then walk'd off ,vith dog and gun, While Syntax travell'd sfowly on • "I rn'nnnf ^' 1 S ^'i °x^ '^'' P^^^"' ^^^^^"^^'^^ ^he Contemplative [rafn.' I cannot^ while I Nature view, Cloth'd in her robe of verdant hue Or when the changeful veil is thrown, -J 1-^^ Summer's gold or Autumn's brown, Or midst the scenes of snow and frost, Whenhergay colourinjris lost • 1 cannot but the Pow'r admire That gives such c^i Jims to heVattS \ Nor do her wond'rous shapes, that rise In countless forms to meet the eyes, Mark with less force th' unerring soul, Which with such beauty decks the whole. The mountain's top that seems to meet The height of Heaven's Imperial seat ; The rocks, the valley's guardian pride. Ur bound-ries of the ocean's tide " That oft, in grand confusion hurl'd, Seem like the fragments of ^ world ; llf SEAKCH O/- THE I'ICTirSESQVE While the low hill and valo behvwn a . ' Hut lesser form; nvite to tnee ' r ^T" '".^n^eate the scena The humble shrub, the sp eadin. tree In fh';"'"' "'" ^^'7'"« ^^^ = Along the griund thc^Sbles ^nawr""^ P™"?''^ "^^^^ And the low hyssop tops the wall j The bull-rush rises from the sedge. While floweTs of^e^y'^cdo'llrs^r ' A f ' '""^^ V The streaUetw-intn'g ^t-^^^Z'^^ '''"' "^"^ "^'^ The river's b^fd t"IZvrf;^^<= ^S' "^""^ '' ™, with iSi^r/our^e" i^i^er '""''' '"^'^''^ '-^' Nnr ♦ .CO.! ^"? '^^ '''^''^^ ^'^vcs with the m-een Tlfe cygneVs sr,!?,^h';°;ea.'i°ock-s'°dy?s"''°" "" ^^'<=''^"'- ' V • , i^^^ P'^'cons neck, the eagle's eves- Nor in less beauty do thev rovo wi.r. r \, The elephant's resistless force ' Th.^ ^^u"" *^'5 "'"''^ ^^ ^he grove. The ermine's softnc and the'bo^ Xvf^'^ •'"^, 'P'7' °^ ^^^ ho^^^ J Thus throughout Nature's la ious stat J ''''J.^;}^'^'^ cover'd o'er.' In ev'ry diff'rent class we see ' vj u^ ^Z?^ °' inanimate, What playful change in al we know Of th^ ^T-^^'"' *^" ^'^"^^-^ •' In all where instinct motion Vives t T!^^"^"' '"^''^^ ^^^^^^ J But these ar^Krwien we looV'^' '' '''"^'''" ^^^^^ ^ When,half.!?s7/d'!v'^i^4?^^^^^^ . . Thus, in deep metaphysic mood Svnf.. l^^ T'^ '^''i^'^*^"' ^^ " ^"-^ And many a system had been Sou H?/to-' ^^^''.t^" ^ way pursued, But none arose which did no^ t/nH ^ p "^^ '"^ ^'^' ^^^^"^^ thought None vere but aptly form'd to prove Thl^fi""""" "^'"^" l^ ^^^"^"^ Thus ail bemus'd he took his wav vll^ ' support of social love. And, thus employ'd in eolith LTl\ ^"J^^^^^ous of the passing day ; No wonder tLt k came^tS ^°^'"vvr^^"'7'^°"^^'°^b^^ting That he, contemplating the^vle V oT not?"''^' ?'" ^ ^^"^" S'-''^^^' She sUto fale : bite o? tw^"" ^"'^'^'"^' "^^^"^ ^"^" Or, when they pass'd a limpid brook, Or if \..r .1, ^^^ ^ plenteous beverage took • 'w!U' r .^ V"P^^ warlikt sou'^7 ""'"'""°"' "'"''• Woke Syntax from his dream profound ; Wth'^n?."'''" ^"'^'^' ""<• "°^'d on straight, UT,. • ""° ""'^ny a prancing to the eate tecras'^hf o°W ilP/red"' Whic'hT' 'f'^ P'-.f^'^"'"? '""Pet-. I s?e :^!^^Y^^"^^ ^'°™ ''^ "^^'^ Ti i....*^^f.^S^!" '"<> Grizzle mare : Fo;;i;; recd«dXra^™L'e\"whS *^ ^"^ "1* "-^ '" '"<' --^> A furious Hussar at me Sr^S'-rcra? ^et-atis^:,^ j! i 88 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX When my poor marc receiv'd the blow. And straight the blood began to flow ; Nay, the same sword had crack'd my crown. 13ut my brave comrade Stephen Brown, Came up and cut the Frenchman down. 1 have been borne by that same grey w«. Through many a rough and bloody day : Her ears well know the martial strain ;- I'm glad to see her once again.« That well may be :— but for her cars— ^ V t., , , , ^^'CKcd clown's infernal shears Have robb dher," Syntax smiling said, - Of the fair honours of her head- Nor did one tender thought prevail ' u« .1, °"? ^\^^ ^^^^"^ ^^'e to save her tail.'" Now Syntax sat and heard the story ^ ^'''^• 1 he soldier told of PIngland's glory • How British columns fought their way. And drove the foe and won the day • How oft he did his breath enlarge T?nf fi. 11 ^^^^ to arms and sound the charge ; The martial bands alive to meet giorious, aay; Their foes, and lay them at their feet • And, when my breathing trumpet told 'cm 1 o go and conquer— to behold 'em. At once their beaming blades display, T n v ■ " ^"^" °^ *^^^^ victorious wav I felt the mexpressive joy Which grim-fac'd danger could not clov If that same Grizzle Steed you rode ^' iir r , ^^"^"^ speak, she'd tell the ground she trnH o • J c There'll be an end of T/wmas Hall." And, as I think 'twould prove a joke ^ ' To show my mare to London folk, Ferhaps, for old acquaintance sakp ' v/uwaru way. Vi my poor beast the care you'll take." Ifso,"- J^' ^"^EARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE gg Your mare shall have protection here; When you return her looks will tell That her Old Friend has us'd her well » A horn now told the near aDnrmrli c\(..r.. And soon a vehicle and fou?''''''^^ l^^r'^l^tr^^'/^^ 'T'^'^ imo his place the Doctor p^oEf '' '^' ""'' '^'''' ""''' '' rhc coachman smack'd, and off they bouncU 1 he scene around was quite composing, c^ ^o r / '^ companions all were dosin? ; So he, forsooth, concciv'd it best To close his lids and trv to rest When the morn dawn'd he turn'd an eye ^ Upon his slumb'ring company : A red-fac'd man who snor'd and snorted, An^ -, ^ ^''^?y ''''^^ both eyes distorted, yviien burly-boo s yawn'd wide, and spoke. « We move," said he, " confounded slow ;•' \MhiU «,o^ ' • i5' ^"^^ ^'SS' " ^^o^v fast we go !" TTn ^nl "^ simp'ring Syntax, " with all three : ' Up hill, our course s rather slow • Dnum k;ii i But when 'tis neither up nor down I t?s n ^H^r ""''"^^^ ^ ^° ' ;; O la r> cri^d mist "the thougfurso"pt;?'P^^^^ ' ^^^"•" The lady said? " TA Lrscan ^^'-'^^^' fr? ^^'^"^ •'{ . He's one of those I have no r,,,.K, ,,„ ^he temper of the gentleman, Norf.ilshistSaI:-^J^^;^^^^^^ But we who in these stages roam, ""^ ' And leave our coach-and-four at home. Reserve our lot when thus we talk A„ J ^. t^°^*^ ^v^o were ordain'd to walk ♦ w« 1^ . Which he could hear about an Inn, Would not assist his studious honrq Mnv ^iA u; • ^ n . , To make his volume fit to show ' Th. n ' intellectual powers. And as his Patron ^f the N Jrth """"' '' ^^^^^-^'^sUr J^o^j The Lord renown'd for sense and worth. Had bid him make his house his home Whenever he to town should come. He was res^u ca^^^^^^^^ ,^ knocking at his Lordship's gate. /u tnat same gate ne soon appear'd • ^ My Lord, with smiles the Doctor cheerU m 90 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX "You have done well, my learned friend, , , Hither your early steps to bend ; Cusness h^s brought me up to town, And thus you'll find mcallulone. Here pitch your tent and pass your hour ^^^^^'one. In working up your pleasant Tour : And, when 'tis done I'll aid your scheme^ It shall not prove an idle dream " Syntax receiv'd his Lordship's grace With moisten'd eye, but smiling face. And for ten days, at morn and night, S;u-P'^V ^°.^'""^' l"s ^o"k to light : While the few intervening hours W ere rcndcr'd gay with wine and flow'rs. My Lord, by gcn'rous friendship mov'd. "XT.- t ^,o^\»;cacl his Volume, and approv'd. Think not/; said he, " I fondly g^ive ^)pin^ns, tending to deceive • When I declarftiat yr"e'f?2 '""' T^'\ T^ ' Nor is this all-nrrecoUiend lu '^''^'?*' ^°''' ^°°^ *« ^^^ ' To one who has as lib'rTfec 1 IJ''^ ^^'f '""^ ^^''^''"^^ ^"^^"^^ And when my letter ^f\^ He'll (S.^'^ol^ ^^^^^ 1 hus, my ^ood Sir, IVe done my best : ^ ^"^ Tu T^ ^°" ^^ see him and explain the rest." The shop he enter'd ; all around He saw the shelves with volumes crown'd . , , /n^Kussia and Morocco bound, ' Tell him that a d! D is here ? Th. n 1°^^ attendant on the trade " To ni D. D. 'r^Uhe appear'' ^''" '"^""^ "^^^ ^ '^''^'^ He would not come for alt the knowledge T.,n««f Of Oxford or of Cambridge College: I cannot go as Pm a sinner ; i darf not interrupt his dinner • \ ou know not how I should be blam'd '" ' btampmg his foot, Syntax exclaim'd, Apollo and the Muses nine ' Must Learning wait while Tradesmen dine?« They re common hacks," replied the boy : We never such as those employ ; I ve heard their names, but this I know, -i ney seldom come into the A'^T£/." The master who had fili'd his crop In a smart room behind the shon On hearing a loud angry voice, "°P» A ^ 1 r. !-• ^^^^ ^^^^^ ^° ^"o^^ ^^'hat caus'd the noise • And Jeft h.3 w, e and bottle ,00, To see atout ?his strange to-do He was a tnan whose ample paunch ^ "' . Was made of beef, and ham. and haun^-i- • And wnen h. saw the shriveh'd form ' Of Syntii,' he began to storm. 91 I^ SEARCH OF THE PfCTUKESQiTE B>^ce'^si;:^,St "^^r^ ^'^' ^^^- >- -can, And who you arc, Sir, and your name WulV 'I ^^y ^'"'■•'^"^l ^'^^ to bid vou loolc The subj. ct which the work con ains I. Arl ^\ Z P""'' ""' Publish Jt ? Tis form'd the curiot.s to a !u.^ !i ' \l ^[^;!"^' ^^^^"-"^'^ ('^i'" domains; I know a m^rwho hS I) rskili'^^"^ 'l'^' P'"^'" ' Yes booby ; from such skulls as mine Without onrs^ngl^ r'aT'of'^P^'i^uf ";\^™r ~™^' Thus'good7nd"vTfo™ ttwht'f '" P™""^ '""^P^"^^' And I wou" n^/e" f:!,?™ "^'t''' ^"^ ""^ » soul : When humble Authors come to sue rrh/"'"' «^°"' "'"' <''" >■""•■ bmss. You feel Uke Jove in all h s p fd? ' mT,""^ *""" "•'''" P^"'P" V"".) . Bookseller.-^" How da l J"" ?,?"''^"'"S,by his side.^ yes, she-s JX^^t^^rSir^ ''"""• " '''-''' Andshe;ThJXl:;rofKTJ™"'''°"^''-<'-'^-. Vo„7 '^^"' ^f/f' -'"^'s » harlot A prostituteTwh tCirL'^^r' '"^"™"f;arle. - First with a'footman off she an An^°nn" 'r' "'^"^^ "^"'^ ""^ «°'™ ; SYNTAX.-"Have dono 1. ''i'™' "'"' *" ^Merman' . And then I think ,™u'™;?.::t'r^e°"e';P™>''-d "-'k«cr, M,?1°±^SV_^^-': ?!'•. had you shown the let,., (^r-e — ;r rv.x^- ociiy snouia iiave burst " ' Before I would have said a n^rd Vour learned cars should not have heard ; 9* TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTA V Hut, la tills world whciein wo live w These irnlc heats w,'s'omc^,es"H>'''' ^''■'='"'' '°'^"'- Aty Lord .sArh'i:i.r;:;:^™'">' .«-'""" '■-.'. I |.ray yo„ , k^ ^^ r^,"? ^"J^-nK-fa- .hey sell. Wcl^, I fear, h.t":„° Hu^t ■ m;'7^' •'^'^' >™ '■-« V« '« dine : The book wm se ,' V e'r ;',' ,;^;,^ "'^,r.f-'^- . A work like .l,is ,'S ',o. be S" ^""^ '° ■"•'"£ " »"' = - -I be .^(: iSf^:ii-' "II"™-.? -r ^™'"^°-' T.ii:;;hfe-i;-^--^^^e„^ CANTO XXIII. " Whate'kr of genius or of merit The chiW M^ u I hey will not in tl.is mortal sVate" '"'"""■'"'''>■'"''"'■'. W lorn p'"" '"■•■'"S'^' ^•••Pricio.is Same ' That unseen^lr .{jl^^o^j;; '"""r -"-, ''. Throughout nfy life'jVe sf u?S'h'ard ' '"' '""^""'^ ''<«"■• What have t g'iil^^^ ''f ?'='=" ."^ ''='•"' ^S-d " ' What evvj L'^i'em s%^^™t ?"• Re^n'o^^fV*' ^^^*"^ »'- -<• o'er Or those rich volumes tvhich d s ' ense Th. '? ^°' F"'" ""'^ Attic wi'^ No fav'ring patrons have I go P'" nf,, hf«f '°'^^^?'"'»"^'°q»"ce? And can each'lfi'^drn'.L^rfc"' '"" T~^' . Yet I have never been decreed t^ i, ''°",^ <^^«mV to Malachi • No they enrich the idle d. m?e win '^''' ^^'^ ^^^^^^ that I feed • And meanly grudges e'en to spare My^Z': '7 ^^? fl<^^J< but once," Have I made any real friend/ n ^ P'^'^^cc for their weeklv faro And though a go'od musician^'too, ^' ""^{Jlf.f^^V'^"^^^"^^''' ends'? " '"'^■" "'""" "^ P°"''- To soothe an ovi'anxicurbour; ind forgive. ou inherit ; -t to dine : in t he pot; '1 tiic pan. ng it out ; her day ; ly Lord." 1 conic, ble fare ; inherit, e hour. id o'er, ic wit ; uence? le pot. lachij feed : once, f fare. ends .? !!• do i hour ; Ji"t thnuffh it uiih my temper suits U ^^ My ■''kctching.pcncil, t( c) W ^^"^r'* >''^'^"'^ ''«<'^" brutes > or, to replace some hor i 1 sr a I Mv .7 ^""'" ' '">^'^''''>t't tl>c to n! And yet, 'tis true, as I'm a sinnc 'rhi^ ^1 awings J)anK' on ev'rv wall • What do I ger poor boys o teach ? A Zh ''""\^'> '"^' ^^ '^'^ ^ '^'in er' A task, whi^h L::;;;an sa^^l '^^!;- '-'"-«^t the breech'^ Too happy,^^:^ !;;;-;, --ch an ;^^^^^^ -en,n-on;«^;;;--iw W l.cn the cask cnpty'd of its ale " No nLX'Ir -''^^^"'^^ ^''^ P"'^^ J 'At Ien,nh the h.ck; mome" an c '''' '""'^'^ '•^^Sale! And, after Jl^^'y Sl^p^st ^ ^'^^ '^P o^havei:!;;!l^;rL^;:!£^^;>i^ ^i>t now I think the we re "n so. ^ '^'T^]''^ Fort.nie's verv bh'nd r To say the truth, I scarce beheve' Tho'ff'' '^'^^"^'"^ ^" I<''' 1 to me In a Lord's house I take my rest A ! i '°"'"' ^\''"^''^ ^ "ow receivi The favours on my Tour I found Aro v l "^ ^'"^' '"^'^ '^""«"''cl guest ' , Thus Sy.^ 2l^-S;» P7-is^oves." For, Pond'ringashepLs'dZ g^^Te w'.."^' ^'' '''''^''^ -'^'"•" a coach • ■? ^7"t-gnl s barrow strikes hie; ^h L The p^il^r '•-'--■■- '!e/ut^s H>s l,«)e_jpurney at alf ^cl^ ^"0 D°o? oV'" "i*;"^^""^ "^ •-• "^^k- X ogcthcr they i„ coir ort dine ' '^ ""' "°^'^ f"™,! . Pvne. , .^^y ^^l^cass, nought but bono= ...^ .i--„ - - . •— ^u lu inc Tradesman's eve ' -r- , '"' ^ or would he deign to cast a lo^ok VootfT^' ^^"""^ °^ Poverty : • L/pon the pages of my book; 94 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX fill But, with the fierceness of a Turk, in sorry terms revil'd my work • And let loose all his purse-proud spleen ^ * T^„f , . 1 .^pnst a thing he ne'er had seen : HJc .V. «. P^^^der'd my wig, and made me fat. ' completed my important figure : ' While, m my pocket, his keen look Glanc d at your Lordship's pocket-book. Twas now-' I'm sure the work will sell And pay the learned author well •' ' And . ^^^^^^^^^^^^scts:^ qn fT,of fi. 1 ^^, yl" '^'^^^ ^^^s P^ess command : bo that the book had not a flaw t« ^- i ^i.' , Prove but his gains-aTd he'd be civil O . . '.^ ^^t? ^^''^'''^ ^^ ^^^ ^''^^^• Thus Syntax and his patron sat AnH S ^^'f ^^^^^'^ ^' ^^^ ^^^^1-" ♦ ^rom whence your high endowments flow : And how It happens that a man, Whose worth I scarce know how to scan, Should ne'er have reach'd a better state. 1 han seems to be your present fate " wn iT ]!''''•".!! ^^^ ^J^^ ^ -"^'y ^^^^^y page A J, ^V^^tell my birth and parentage- A mod'rate circle will contain Mv rn,n,Vi r i Till you, my ever-honou "d fr^nd ^ lui °^ ^^^''•'"'^ ^"^ ^^^ P^'"* And lighted up a brigluer rav ' To i.^ "'^ ^'°"'°^ ^^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^ "My faVerTa^ a noble ^^JST "^°" "^ ^^°"^^^ ^^y* A learn-^d nlt^' '""^^ ^T^'A.^^ pregnant Nature ; A learned Clerk, a sound Divne, A fav'rifP nf ti,« ir • Who dwell upon Parnassian hill/ orbathe fn w J''^^ "^"f In the sequester'd vale of life a« « ?¥ ^^ Heliconian rill. He pass'd his inoffen^ve dav Tn f.L1?"^^^' ^°,P"^^ ^"^ strife, A «,T.%- , ''V}}ere, good man, he's gone before ' Ambition ne'er d sturb'd his rest mI!. k1? To sting his peace • no sordid rL-. r ^'f ^ '^""P^"^ '"^ ^'S breast While he posSd an^ncome clea'r SZfit^ l^' contentment there ; . "_My mother, first of wor.n.vt'i ^^ ^^ll^iL^i.^^J^d^^d pounds a yean in her calm sphere contented'mnv'd ti.'^V^"!''' it;atui-e, and m mind, Fo^'d to ado'k the M^^Z"'' XST S l^^l^ d ray work ; >uld be paid, 1 my cheek; ice allows ; of the law. the Devil." 'ning chat. 'ry feature, bly taught, ^d of pain, ie extend, uded day. 'gins nine onian rill, md strife, sful way : ilderness, lis breast tit there ; Is a year, in mind, he lov'd. ural cot, My anxious father did not spare' ^^^%^, ^^^ V hope-their daily joy. He taught the little forward^df ^t' T^i!" '° ^"^^^^^'^ ^are And from the cradle he beo-in t« r , '"^ ^^^S^ of himself • I gave my nights, I gave mv rinvQ t„ t I'l , Whate'er is known of^wS lore' ","/' R'^S^ ='"<' ""mef's lays: I follow'd each appointed co,/sT And tracKV'"""'^'' °''^ ^"^ °'"- But in my way I gathert ilow'rs I souSt tl,?M "'•'^ '? ^'^oufce; And d.d their fav'ring smiles renav ^\l L '"'" '" ""='■• bowers Nor did I fail the art! to woo "^ ^ ol ZT^ ''P'}' ™™delay Thus was my early manhood nn«M >",™"s c and of painting too. My father d/'d-and ere h,s u?n Had fiU' ^''P^'"^'' '^ great to^last A mother, who refus'd to st!ay, When he w>; *"?' ^ ''■■«' '° mourn "What foUow'dVl was left ^oL ""'' '""' '^'^" ='*»^ I sought ga^Klstr4^o?,t'?hronr&- . . Till, by rude stores a™;^'„?p"es'^^Tos"f "'^' =^"''' ^'""^i While I sto»x^t1h^L^"ti"r" "^^ " Now chanl^dt^mSS/S "^ "'''""' "'"■ T le fnends I cherish'd prov'd unkind ' All those who shar-d my prosp'rou day And,asIaS:rwrnt'eXTd"=-"'^"'^T4 . ri '"' '^l^^:"' P"'f°™^ I'is dance "'°* ^ ''^^ '» '^»<'. But it was si ntr^tui^' "^'1"" ^^^ -• So, havi„/„!^c'^i,„ cT^ssfc grJun'r ^"= ""^ «"» ""•" : And saU'd the Grecian Isles tround,' (A pleasure sure, beyond compare I too. my ^:Ti^^V:-^^Si^iP . Yet, when I reaeh'd my native Aore"'' *" ^^^ ""^^ <'"''' • No better p°ll,^S'^,^ r^if"^'^^ "~' ' Thf ~"nt,y tradesmen's sons tTteacT-"'''"'" '"'' ""''^^y '• Wi rth^ ""='Se-ehurch to preach, ' A new scene opens of my life : For fiifi. ^t''^ "'^ ^^''^^^^ days : MvLoK.r-..l'should^S;-*-/,/-o^^^^^^^^^^ i U I 96 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX T W i^f y^"J^P»;ov'd your lonely state ! Iluf SI K ^°''^' ''^ itself, is very ffood This Jas the"cruL^^ll^!;7?r'ouS^^^^^^ . But, led awfy^f^ reaZ^X ^4^?^^^ ^'^ In our delirium Ave forgot ^ ' \vV?' *l'^J t^''^"''^^ ^^ - man, 1 hat man and woman, too, are born V>eZ.]l '^ u ^ ^ unremitted lot ; We thought, as' oth^rfools^'ha^f Sc^fe'' ^"'' ^° '"^ ^^^^^ ^ But had rorJo»SriTrL'^^r^^ "^-'^ There were tZ'mo.^hs tl^t'dai?;" T°^^> ^^^^ - two. Thf ''kY"^ eve, to be supplied \ ^ ' 1 hough by one vow we were betroth'd A«^ f • ^^''^ '^^'■^ two bodies to be cloth'd • ' And, to improve my happiness, nnn • My head's cSStent iith one hat ot^ '' ""''^ ^^"^ ^^ ^'^SS. lTshor?r'^T ^^"^ ^^' ^"d '^^""et :' Bnf^ n '^ ^'^} "° ^^y Passes through n« J t- "t I and my dear Doll are twn ^ ' °"^ ^°°"^^ %"^r.,t;^r>r i,S W-''. '- neve. b... She ca,„e ::^^:s^'i^:-^^^^fr}i^^T I hope you will relate he re t • ^^ ''' ^"'^^ ^"^^t, I truly wish the whole to know nZ u > I need not, sure" rl^eat mtwo'^t.''' '''''' ^"^ ' ^^'^ £«• Th?1?^ ^t^te'er the house affords " And iJl^' '^"' ^^th the Doctor pai ied And left him gay and easy hearted ' While many a pipe his thoughts digest \\t^ eyes told the hour o^rest ^ ' In hopes such counsel to receive A^lf.^"-!!''"'™."^ *"'^ ^o kind, For as I on my bed redin'd A <;„^^„„ ,i "i" "^""d^cend to give. Which may prod'uce, t IVe'lVoff ' ''°""^''' ""^ "'"^ Weil vers.dt?h?"h?st^ ,tgr^ ""'" ''if- ' . I could employ ^^ studious hour " """^ "'^'^ o*^"- ^S" For those who hold the reins of power • And sure a w^^li-f .. — >j . . i^uvvcr , Attention from th^'coTZ?^ ""^'" Bthing more. er of a man, emitted lot ; indathorn! ade us two. id of dfess. lever bred. must go. so kind, 1 to give, ^y mind, ther age , „ . P-LlnV^,~ ^i<"' andt;?' ""= ""-'-a- foes; n would be better fa, , toT '''"'l.f eeJ It would be cutting matters sSrt, Co^,^^ "j"' » PO", return i„ ,„onev , M . LORD!_qS '" P™'"otion.'> And to my counseUgTve' aTe.T™'" "''^'"' '"^-^ > Corruption^^SraKwA^"?"-^"- At the proud Statesman" cmwJL And interest plavs i %,ty ^''"^^'0"s heart, Vourta,e„ts\Xrtr;H;-7^^^^^^^ Will yiu, tZVXktiZT,' ""'' ^P^ak ? wn.vou,ctaL!^l:,-^"^|^r^^ To men ,n offic^, , , Jfef^g ''°,;^^^ An -in." J ,, ^^^^--^^^^^^ When f disti„etio„s,tha belon?T"' T '*"e'«; Yields .0 thI°;;:e!!Sn'^;-;^,;e'" "'-'^ 'Z'i When guile and cunning r™™^^? 'omplyin^ schnnt ._ "av e driven that onr.i'fi'A '"'■";,■>"'"■ '"■"^''st, " --,- ty, perhaps, or you may „"[ "fit ^'f ''-. y M. ^^'^^aside, unheard, forgot; You j8 TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX All thoughts of Downing Sired forego ^ ' a Tu r ^ ^^'^'^ *° Paternoster Row. ' Bankers and Booksellers alike At /' "'"''' ^' r'^" ^" "^^^^ ' An^ ,\.r •' ^^ ^^V P<^»it of profit strike • And the same spirit you will meet ^ ' »T- . !-" Mincing Lane or Lombard Street T,s not confiiVd we all must know, To vulgar tradesmen in the ROIV buccess depends on writing well— ^^uyy. On .!,« -c ?^°^«e"ers bow, when Volumes sell. on the ^-^pSy^^-y^^^^^^. p,.i„cip,e.ou.U .e And know dear Sir, or right or wrong,' Tis that which makes Old England stroncr Though roguery s in Veltum^s sho^, It is, i^y friend'he Nation's prop • And though you please, good Sir, to flout it, ^^ ' ^xrvl, . .. 9}^ England could not do without it. noo\^". ilLtSe^o'^tl^^l^^^^^^ ^he never would. And when y^o^; Iab;4Va^e^^^^ yZZf^.lTj:!!^^^^^^^^^^^ ; Velhwi may be a purse-proud Cit T> . rr „ ^^^^" "^*^^'^ °^ money than of wit : ' But Vellum, my good Sir, can tell The kind of book thnf'' What Wealth has done, and Art essay'd. What taste has, in its fancies, shown TT, f 1 • i° ^'''fM?^''; splendour to the Town \ That being done, 1 11 take my way To Covent Ga^^-^^^ *t-. -i- « ■■• ihen," said his Lordship, " when wemeet. "" "" ^'^'' I shall expect a special treat, ' To hear my learned friend impart w • ^^ TJie Doctor bow'd, and off he vvent, V^^nh■T'^' °^ ^'"""^^''^^^ ^^'i'" He pac'd the Parks-he vie;SeaclSnr"'P''°Sress bent : As wits and critics now are known " '""'= =""' '' «-''. \\ ho hasli up nonsense fni- fh„-r And, in the daily cohnnSs, show How smJi.T" '' . ,. I think," said Sy„,S°Toow'n'i '^^nd™ °^'"' ""=^ ''"<'"• I^see no we„.',:;=4?,tt^f -t p^ro^r"''' '?oX^rh-tol™t s^^l^ ' -S4r.in=;\-P- The parts all answer one another """'^^'""i^^ symmetry. Andall,aIaftto^Slt°^^^^^^^^^^^ ,. ' But w.ere's the grand, the siuZJ'Z^^t '" ^°''^ ^ ^^^^ '• Andyoum||^^:ij-^^^^^th.^le^^^ Your noble, architect'ral grace's '^"^^^ ^' ^^^^ ^an : \v^ould take up room nnH fin t « TK,-^ 1 ^"""^5 ^"a nil up places " This may be true, Sir, to the letter •' But genms would have minag^ be ' " &th7'''^-^~';^^>^' I amtmfng ' But surely tlrenfn^^g^; g^^ound " .T^^ ^'^'"^"^^ Who could have ble'nded auSe,?^^^ "^S '^^ '' British ground,) J "t^f, he spoke, the curtain rose? And foi^er hi i' Proprietory spirit.'' i^ut still, as they the drama view'd "^f;?,^^^ ^'^ harangue to a close ; And lasted till the whole was o'er''""^"''^''"" ''^' '^"^^^'d» When, as they pass'd the Playhouse door ilie Critic said— "Twill u-n,,,,,! , ' . . , If you and I so soon mu t „ "rt ^ ^'"' 0, how I long to crack a bottle vJL . > .■ ■Mvl' "' ':'°-' ^"""^ '° know him well PerH ,fi? "* '"^"^ "' Aristotle ! Where it is now I do not know" q, „. ' ','" residence you'll tell " But this I can most boMIy sarVoif iar"? ^ "^ =-',' ?"<• I must^'; When fairly got into the sfreet, " O " tho, 'f,t7i "^"=' ''™ « ">e play." For my good Lord when ,t» mecf ""'"■' " *'*^' ^ '^'^' CANTO XXIV. _ Now Syntax, as he trnvolivi h-'-V t -ir ^uuid not but ponder in his'mind ' On wwf ^^'^l^^'^'^S in a hack, IVe seen a play,'> he muttSng^aid -"' ''''' '''' ^^^'^"^' Twas Shakespeare's-but in ma' querade I 7-2 100 TOUR OF DOCTOR SWWTAX Heaven bI=,rm?fX/etfSn n^HX "= ^'''^'^ n 1,.,,, 1 ^,''5''? ''?' '""= ""'d her ,ac, od head? Some mixture do,h its ivorth debase ." ""' ^"'"""' "^ •' How few consTrnVIhlmSZh "oT" H ''^f "-^ V''--"- Content, as they incurro '" f ay"" ' Thro'JIh"^ ?'"'"'''' 'l'^""^ '»" ' With straws that o/the surfoce flt^"'' ""profitable day, Nor look for pearls that live below : ' They ne'er the hidden depths explore. But gather sea-weed on the shore ' Whe" fe^ed' men'v;er:"seen tolt ^^^«-«'>' ,'° ^lignify the age , When to Ws A^?S„'d° Nature tSi?" "'^ '™^''" °' ""= ?" '' While evV pt^fo f vV;^h:St P'^'^',"-" = . % Nature's leUs^rrXly tat .ht"""^"'™ '""^ "™"g'" -• whr'^oidir.?t.^^;tre ^ir;r> t^ *--'f "■- «-• Or when, with fell InbitiSn^wann InPrTh'''''-^V''''^^'' ^ride He gave each passion to the ^ e ^" '^^'"'^"^^^ «^" ^" .G^^./.rV form; The words he did not loudly quote • " ''' ^"^ "'^""^y* « vr ^1'^ ']^t^^ e'en as Shakespeare wmte Kno^ri^Llifd^^o tnr.T;" -"S^'-P™ wayward busy change When he assum'd the me" y rfel ^\lT T"='?" "^ ">= heart) "In ^.,^«^A.S, or when°he'«,te'"'°""S ^°'"^'^^- WKo T, • ^^^^^"^"^'^^ to hide his love • w£:n £e ^he1e'2Sl^!^tia;'r^%ht^^^^^^^ ""'^ ■^^''''-^ P"'"" = Work'd up itffe^&if^^ Sr-' "■^T.f ,??,"[-' Nay, e'en in ^^^^^T^e rould'lwal^'i' '' ™^' '° ^"'"^^ '^-^ •' The heart h^ch Sed'of Us'fvo^'fn'^'!" ?'"^ . Lit up a joy in ev'ry eye ' ^"^ ™-^f ". ""= P^g"'™! tear (o flow, He ever was to Nature true •- p clrown'd the soul in agony! Th' attentive mind, the list'ning ear • In -,li°th. n "'" .'"'' ^^ ="Mue He ne'er outstepp-d^f^merr ng ', *' °'''"'^^ """^ ''''''^^ In eVry paXlirext?.'^""'" '" ^;f'"-'-chool : In those good times none went to see Th/^i ""'i?"'^ "" ™= ^ell. Th» constant laugh, the forc'd o-rhmr^ T'n, ,™ v'^ ^'*?^'^ "f 5«"ery ; In those good tim°es' none we„t% """f vl!:,':7.''5_'','=^J?.'-"''ns of the face :' iuen .ousht perfection ,o discern^ ^ And'wd Critkrwent S,°lSi' t to be forgot, e he preferr'd. on the town ! genuine ore ; s labour toil ! lofitable day, ify the age; s of the pit ; y wrought ; were there, over'd o'er ; lan breast ; ''al's bride ; s/er's form, ne variety, isy change the heart) Comedy. 'T put on ; lie essay'd ure true I r to flow, in agony, e subdue e career, vas well. 'Cenery ; he face : -omedy, learn. 101 /^ SEAJ!C// OF THE PlCTirRESQUE He did no. iB^^^^^SZ^"''^ ' He read profound, in cv'ry page ' or M^.,^'''""' ''°""'y' gi*-™ And act „f , >; ? S^^^^ p,3siSurse ™'""'^' "'^^ ''^^ Nay, with a^moTe Sl^t^ftart'cf "^ ' . And doth the yielding foncy boa?' w""i;''="°™f^'^'"'S^'<'theheart; T 11 1 ,mo and all its y«.rs arc past The Poet, to the end of Time, But, when l^Zl's^^^lt^^^ ^'ZY' '"^""^ ' A poor traditionary fan?o "' j^^'if , "^..'"'■f "" "P°" h's breast, ?;;>^ Drama's children strut and plat''" '" ^''''^ '"' "=""« i„,WK'°™ ? P"'^' ""='■• "ves away 7' And then they share the obvious lo • om. with'Sar^'*? ^*'-' ?<= 'tfT ' But her-s is an expirinVna'me, AndHutV^f^''^' °^ "-c heart ; In others' m^ndft'„'"''t.''''," °"= S''''^'^ conta „f '"" ' AU w-^L-^Lparrt^:- i? (veir sT.^[-1 -,V- ^^ve. Just as this critic-speech was o'er ' '"'"= "S"'"'" But my gooIYTd'';L"gre'to beif .'■''^'^5'P'^ """^ • Where, ^WthfSy^c fnd ol h'fsToul'e '"' '^''^""'- ^P^^' He chew'd the cud of Aristotle, ' ?,!' ''i?;'=h.d,"P°n a bed of down And well he'skVin'l a ^ice""" I^KS "T° ' ^m to sleep^onr^nd ZTtV^t^^" '''^^ "'^ <^''»« "If W°tf f^'Pj'"'' '?= breakfast waSd. Well, 'said my Lord, when he aDDeir-ri ;; These c^ritics,"syn!a. snSg^s'aid' "'"'^ P'"^'<^ ^^ -"•" One sat besidlT^fnlJlfp^""^'- ^' '"f -'>'e = Between the acts we both exprest Or xvh^,. "''''''^ ^ ^"^'^ ^^^^^ a wit ! And whil'd those intervals away In cLnlinf.^^''^' °' ^^^^^ ^^^« best And, though both i£m"d to di!L4e ^"^'^^ "^"^ ^^^ P'^^ ^ Perh.n« v ^ °"^^^ P^'^'^ but perfect courtetv 1: erhaps it may your fancy suit ^""^cesy. I ,'hink, my Jrd, 'twould oroT^a -frat" ''"^^'^ *>'« = All that this'critidsC Tj """ '° P'^' \ ' For, as tolShould ff^Z ? a'^f """""^ "^ '"« ='=•«« = How actors should their parts convey; 102 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX What are the Drama's genuine laws, 1 he source from whence true Genius draws buch scenes, as when to Nature shown, bhe loud exclaims— They are my own • L L thTt To'^M ' '' ''^" ^P,^^'-'^'"' ^^^'^"^ '^^^ ^^^-"rn that's boilin- here • Like that, l^e djd no more than bubble, And without any toil or tJouble \ I ncy tclt the trouble who sat near him • !• or, sure enough, 'twas toil to hear him After some gen'ral trifling chat Of the new Pky:house, and all that Ihe scenes that pass'd before our eyes, ' ' In .T.n.f T'li ? . ^ ^'''^^^ questions and replies ; In short, 1 11 s^ate our ,uUs pro quos J.lst in the order they arose." CRii ic- ' Oh, what a Falstafff Oh, how fine ! Oh, 'tis great actmg— 'tis divine i' Syntax.— "His acting's great-that I can tell ve • For all the acting's in his bdly." ^ ' Critic.-" But, with due dcf'rence to your joke T1, t- ^ '^"^^ ^^"^^"^^ I never spoke "^ ' W ndmif'H LT^'T"'"^" "'^'' ^^^^^ The witness of a finer scene ^k ?n Xs pTr 'heto'th r T ""^^^'n '^' ^'' ^'^^'^^^ "^^^^ charming^r; P'-^^t he Ooth^excel ; g;..;. never played it half so wt^h." tjf / J ^^" P^e^ ^^"^ Q^^"^ the stage adorn • He acted ere your sire was bon,, ^ And critics, Sir, who liv'd before you, Ti • 1 ,^o"^d have disclos'd a different storv Bymy own parfo„?SLide, Wi* m/pt? d^g.-n^^nVf^'^ ^IJ?^? Than see the actors Of this stage, ^ ^^ ^or my guide, When I reaT!j?.]?^%Tnfy?Jf^^ ''^'"^rhtFlf ' Whilemy n^d feelsf cheSL^ ^^ That SlLketc.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ri e swagg'ring words in his defence, ^ ^'^°''^* Which scarce are v/it and yet are sense : The ribald jest— the quick conceit— Ti,« T, If '^°''^^^ °^ '"''^"y a braggart feat • The half-grave questions and replies. In his high-wrought solilonuies • The dubious thought-the pleasant prate, ^ ^^^^^^^uies , Which give no time to love or hate. The air so |e.„„, y;\' ? ^3,1;: ''°'''' ^C'dt ctc^ f rrilS^t ! The eyes with some shrewd meaning biiglit "-"y^'^ - . I surely liave not seen to-niglit • ° ^ '• Agam, I "-^'cR?T.'c -" Alfthi's^?"""'^'^' "^ ^"^^'''■^^"' "is belly." „_ _ _.But wil^suchtm'hsV.te^no;;^-?'!^ '^ "™ ^ ling here ; )r trouble: d all that, cy arose." /e; er scene, rmingly : so well." 1 : ive been. eiy play ly guide, ?rry elf ; I bestow. oqiiies ; f^^ SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE, 103 It is indeed With no small sorrow, I cannot your opinions borrow »T 1-1 ^ o n^l the columns of to-morrow. My light critique will be preferrd The public always take my word • Nay, the loud plaudits heard around ^ ' 1 fvni. Must all your far-fetch'd thoughts confound : I truly wonder when I see. You do not laugh as well is mo " Syntax.-" My muscles other ways are dmwn ' I cannot laugh, Sir,— while I yawn." Critic.—" But you will own the scenes are fine " A n^rlTf'''-" ^^^"'"'^-^ '^'' ^^^^"^'' '^^'y'^-' olivine!" . . -^nd ht for any pantomime. Ot this It IS that I complain : These are tho trirV« wK.vk t j- j • The painters an .he p.a%o„™ends7t)rgi:;5;^S^^ 1 he clothes are made in just design : ^ They are well charactcr'd and fine. The actors now, I think, Heav'n bless 'em. ^ Must learn their art from those who dress 'cm • But give me actors, give me plays, On which I could wiU. mpture gaze For if fh '^ coats and scenes were made of baise : ^ ^ ^* YoL Jul^nZ^h^^ ^^'^^^^ u'^^^^^^^ ' ^^ P^--^^^^^ ^^^^^ as they ought • You M ould not then be pleas'd to see This heavy mass of frinnerV Hear, Horace, Sir, who wrote of plays ^nppery. In Ancient Rome's Augustan days :— Tan^o cum strepitu ludi spectantur, et artes VivihcEque peregrincB : guibus oblitus actor * Cum stent in Scena, conciirrit dextera Icvvce. Dixit adhuc aliquid ? nil sane. Quid placet cr^o f l.ana larentino violas imitata vencno " ' Critic— "Your pardon. Sir, but all around me. An^ fi, There are such noises they confound me : And, though I full attention paid, I scarcely know a word you said To say the truth I must acknowledge ^ ir- -1 J tT'^ ^^"^ ^^nce I have quitted college : £,7r r.^ ?'''*'^ ??i "Y ^""'^^^^ ^ ^"""^^ them at my fingei-'s end;, But Grecian Lore I blush to own. Is wholly to my mhXiknown* I therefore must your meaning seek : uuKuown. n . .1. ^^"^^^^ "^e. Sir, translate your Greek.' But see, the farce is now begun, And you must listen to the fun It sure has robb'd you of your bile ; ' For now, methinks, you deign to sniile Syntax.-" The thing is droll, and aptly bent ^ . - - ^o raise a vulgar merriment : But Merry-Andrews, seen as such. Have often made me laugh as much. An actor does but play the fool ^ When he forsakes old Shakespeare's rule. And lets his own foul nonsense out To please th' ill-judging rabble rout : But when he swears, to furnish laucrhtpr 1 he beadle's whip should follow aft'er ' There's Terence, Sir, and then there's Plauius: They've both a better lesson taught us." 104 "^^R OF DOCTOR SYNTAX jIc we I deservVI tlm ^ ''^V'^/"^'«es his satin; ' Where Uwyers by profession bold ' It'l^.t'''^ 'i^^^ h"'o,lJn) You well n,,^l.t;h3oZrf ','";'?''' ^^ "«nd'^'d Wl.cn thus /see ^haTats'su" ' ^^;i'''T^'f '-- clispos'd to cry, Wh n-S?l'4rr5^^^^^^^^^ Ho said, "aVa^-ue a ioaJned frie,ur'' "'^ °™'"'' I^"* .The sketches ?oo™fS'5iS"er;:^' '^'"^. and spirit, .V^*" 'he humour of our am AnrI i„""^ "PPropriate character • 'T s'tru^H "/'" "'"^ ^'k 'o l^uy, "'" ■'"' >'°"^ Lo-jd^Wp'^ patronage ; J IS true that papei-'s very dear A n j > ^"^ ''<=»' ""ith li bcralit v The vo, m,, ';,f-. ,„^"4,;™rk.ne„, wages „,ost ^, Jjesides, theT:'is^"/Sto%:'n* "^'tT' ^J- AnT.',?"" ,"'■''>'• Pefl'-ips, be "id n " ""= '"■"= '"'^ work has done And then tl,e price will'be so Wh • Tl?" '"""= P"™'= '"■'■c'c of ifade Books of so very costly kind / '^'^ '" ^' s^til'uhe "'= ^•' ''••"'' "'>« ^ X "1 try my luck, an.; will be bound °* " " ">>' "'"'l' After somelift'ir^ff„';°[^''"-^i;,''undred pound." (Kor ... JUTbi^^f„^:iS?- p-"l ""^ "'"' And when a name is up, '??^Sid","' "" The'oTvn ?,f ^^ "P"'" hand; SKn"r'^'<^"'">d track pt'rs™ '"^^ '"^ =""£ *■> bed. And Booksellers shall cringe to v„n~ wS'sKr" 't ^'4i^"p-t. While Sy„^^,''^f/,f-"- Of h^ heart'; Not w,th h,s tongue-but witlX^s. M SSAXCH OF THE PKTmESQUt. CANTO XXV. 105 Thought he woXke awcX .l^„ ^'^'^ ■"«> "°""-nff else .0 do So down he sat, wi.ho„.'?ca?e;"" ''\^ " e,,""'^'^,';"'™"'^ '-ibraf? And sciz'd a book ; 'but Morphcusi hcd '' ^''"■°"» "^'""^ While -™c tsrsant 'theme, , T„Ti°;5i'.^^^r,'j;,Oj rather while they took their ,vi„e Th; u,,f„,ded lekves, expos'? t^^'.^^ '"'""'"^^ S". and fair : And from eid> book'a^b dVir'T'' "!i°"S' Nor was it long before I salf "' "^""^ivTtulT'Y' "^"^ •» 'ell ! The celebrated Dards and Sam ' '■"='<^«"al awe, A,, headed ll'^tS^'t? ^'^^,-'' «-- ages. The Lamb, it baa'd, the Horso ,•/" '''7^, ^^'eH-arm'd Folios. -theprSS?-i?«^^^" "' St. DunsL-s.sZgef :^e?eti^; Bu^siSj" ^' ' f ^--»" "'-'^• Disdaining Eloquence and Rhymes'^ ^"^ "'"'' ""' =^'«« ^ Erskine's faj?d-prmnhle'; r. '^'^"^ '» =?««>< inl'himes. TSiot?™^S?o«- Each one, upo'n hiTS^Xk '-"''T"'"^' ', For a short time the Learned triin ^T""^, ^}"S^ ^''"t Almanac The^sSt; "'l.i-' view1h?''co. et" ^™-«---Lane; At Cheapside-end ther" eenfdt's^^r ^-^-'^"^ i" vers^J A pageant, rather huge tha., grand ' '^p^^l 106 7VI//1 OF DOCTOR SYNTAX • Ream upon Ream of Quire Stock r\ . r ^PPcard like some vast, massive rock • Ofnihlno /.V?.^''''^'^ '7 "I'^bcr in its hand Uf liibles, Hist'ricsand Rev ows Am,i i\t • /. . 1^ tce had n^ ther smile nor frown, vvhu. ■ It iield out a monstrous paunch As fat ith many a h.nn and hauncli 'no sooner hearu Ihc'clocV strik^^t ^ ' ''"'''''''''''' ^^^^ And in « •. ] 'T ^''''T '!='^'^"^ ^ "^y C'-^n^c down ; And m ciK p lie they took theirstand, In Imnour of the Classic Band- i^r"' *i^^T ^'^f y ^'"''^'■^1 the clock strike TwT ^"^' March d back as they were wont to do. Now as they came near the Old-Jewry. Like Dulncss work'd into a Fury A vulgar, shape appeared, who flew An^ ofT, -r'^ P"'\°"? "^'^'■^''^ '^^^^^ ONE and TWO • Stra,ght he came forward .0 producYA i;S'i/,«;*"a'flrf .S• Near him two flutt'rmg i'amfihkts bore ° ' A „;u D ^'»"?''™s. with figures covcr'd o'er ; AKrj;r/'of^:;^^^^^^^^^ ^■ound 'hejjjead^r who drew nigh, "f oT^'&b^l'r .Cy" I3ut e ci he speaks, my proper course is ^^ ' Just to describe the City Forces. Bill-Books and Cash-Boc/.s foVm'd the van Tk : iit; to war ; gat ion ; 'erplex ; I* o f^..;.- to fling IlfSEARC/f OF THE PICTURESQUE. ricas, Declarations, and each bit To make "the hur^y of ,hc irat.le '" ''"°"' ""^ "" ""'"«, And with nnr"""''-"" "''' ""' ''»>''» ~l"mr ,., i|c • 'inu, with one conscience, t iireDare Tl,™ ; '^ . . ,, -Ihe llerald'n<„i the Silence Woke ' ^ °' ""' ''"^P" "»'• And thus .0 'iS^^^::^,,^^ ^l^^ 'PoW , ^ " I state my . S^n^^ as^'^nd^lllir '""■''°" "^ " ^ '''"^'• And by wha?,ren«™ou ^^^r^wl"!-.?' >"^' -^O' Come you with all this cavaTade '■• ir^"',f°''?;"," ''■''«""' '■"« ? P rom London streets to take your rout Or u-e siiall quickly turn you out. ' y^sM^^^^fX^i:^ ' -^ -P-ted through the nation. Source of a race that far outvies Vnnr r? ^^^'''j''}^ ^^ Arithmetic ; And now I hope that in a eta k YoTSse?,? ' n lu.n n"" '''''^T'' •' Or else expect a fierce attack. " ^'"^"''^^ ""''''''' ^^^^' I hat time ril g,ve, but give no more. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven eidit - TK T,- Jl^^'"''''' ^"^^ ^^'11 "o longer vait^' ^iglit.— The Bird of Pallas who could sncik Tn f i- , As suited best-did not prolon . hU ! ^"^ "^ «'" '" ^^ '^ Greek, '^Twas a petition, duirmaS? ^3, certTin'n? ''^' X:"'^'^^'' ^^^^Sud To beg my mistress would permit Thnf^,""^ >;'',"'' '^""^ 'f Trade, And here import, thouXinTfhnce Of '^ ''^^"^.^^ '^"^ ^ ^^ ''^ Wit I ask not, if 'twa^ their in c„'"%^^'°""^^°" '"'^^^^^ little Science Whether 'tL'Sm or J^^S^ ""^"^~^^ ^^'^^^ -^•^• Or the resuiroft^/c'^ell^"^^ their^.ood oVruin, Whether 'tis Interest or Prirlo tk V* ^^''V'^^'"' "mercantile pretence : That urges them t'la^tielf radI,'pVr"^^^^^^^^ -'- f<^^ i These self-same matters, to be free Arc AfHf ^ ) ^"^^oiVaI laid : /IS by Minerva's high connlind Thn; fr "i ^"■'\'-*'^ '^^"^ '^ ' ^ 'Fe- rris she commands, and Tobey- No h.H v"'' ?'' ^^^'''' ^^ ^"^ ' Whether it does or does not suit ' Von. pi ^""^ '^""P "' ^'^ ^^^ way, We'll go, you calculating bT^ '^''"""' '' '''' '"^'''^ ''^ bay, will your low-born volumes dam ^xTu^'F''' "■ ^^'^^'^ vet'rans to compare? What's all this bustle-all this fuFsT i liink you they can contend with us ? xo8 TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX They who are slaves, so b;!se and willing, or any pound, and pence, and shilling. A3 the pen gives they're forc'd to drink The venal dips of any ink And when they're filled, tlicir lives expire ^ * Consign'd to light a kitchen fire ; Or sent away to such vile use As Chandlers or as Hucksters chuse • If they oppose our stated way. We'll sweep them from the face o day* At the same tmie we wish for peace ^ir J And that your saucy threats may cease.' We fc nnJ i"''""" ^"^ "?^'^ '^^ ^'^^ ^'"^ ^"y J^«Pe of being witty • O. i?i, ^•'"^- °"'" ^^^'""^"^ P^^^''^ '^« vc^ 'ts speculating ho rs • O^ w th poetic visions cross Your schemes of Profit and of Loss' We dul not first suggest the deed. To bring you books you cannot read Meetings were form'd and speeches made And all by weighty men of trade, ' Jo frame the unforeseen request ; And surely we have done our best When we each Classic did provide. With a Translation by ks skle ~\^PrZ'>^ 'S'^^' '° ''^'''Y'^ ^" ^^'^^^'' ^Vorks in English verse ." fl?)T ■^''"''' '?'^ ^^'^ ^^°P^ ^^ ^^"^g understood by PonV W hik Northern 6^.,//,;., will bestow f he Eloquence of cS To 77/^waj ^/j//^'j and yo/in a Nokes ^^ru•^ I do not doubt it. Within this City as without it ; ' This truth, indeed, is very clear. For they were fools who brought you her- I pray thee tell me what has wit To do with any plodding cit t Of wit we know not what is meant. Unless 'tis found in o'Tf^\aJ Learning, a drug has always been ; No Warehouseman wiltfke iU^^^ Should practis'd Mercers quit their satin ' To look at Greek and long for Latin .? Should the pert, upstart. Merchant's boy Behold the Tower, and think of Troy .? Or should a Democratic Hatter 'Bout old Republics mnkp a -1.^f-> onouiu «.ity riaiers leave their tools, To talk by Ciceronianriiies ''- And at our meetings m Guildhall Puzzle the mob with QassTc brawl ? INSEARCIT OF THE PICTUIiESQUE. No, to such things they've no pretence ; Yo,rnl. '"' '^'"^ ^° ^°'"'"0" sense : But tS'f"' '""'''"' ^""'^^ '^^'^^'^i No ,n ho n ^^J^'^^'^-scnse in verse'; w?> 11 • Pussies at your tail VVoiiId weigh an ounce in Reason's seal- G :?rAi"'y?i-^ _^-- -ith sco?n f - 109 - v.vc.u lixc luime ot Kome w th scorn • TMT ' '''^^^ ^^^ Commerce oi LeJiln^ ' Italy's prohfic shore The wondW srie, •nght mvention which convey'd Such^^ )ouF!r.F. FxTTD^r c . • ^^ " . -. ^"ch vas The Double Entry far outvies All nt/ J5'^ facihtics to Trade And sure I am, his honou.dname Dete"v^es ttS^^el^^^^^^^ To whose keen mind the scheme occu?'d °^^^^"'^' Wha"t dM Tr^""^ conqu'ror's swo"u ' VVhat did the Greeks, pray, know of TradP? \XT c „ Ulysses, as I've heard t sa d Was full fen months oblig'd to roim nXr. i , A voyage in that self-same sSS.i?^ ¥ ^'°"&^^ ^'^ cargo home • The INSTITUTION '^s d sohv'^l A '1'"^ ^''^' ^^'^^^^ "^'-^^e in /C' Deck'd out, 'X^'^^^^^'^^^^^^y^^^^ of trade, While you arc coming as a bribe, ' And aid the'p'rimty imert""-^""^ '''' '^r/^^ '' We have our pedant tradesmen too, Who talk as'if H? "'^' ""^ ^?-^^^ ''''^' And Learning's cud pretS to chew '^^^^^^^"^^^^""^^ knew, In mS.' •'''"'P '^""'^'^ ^"^ court the Muse In Magazines and in Reviews Who snatch the feast, and go awav Tn f' ''^^ °' '° ^'hU Pot-Lane; There are'who s^riv'^^have'^U Tought' ^^'^""^ ^' ^^^ ^^^• Thou^h%':r''' !^'"^^^ ^^^^^^ I^eaJmnlfraught • Though, if they have so small discern n- ' To interrupt their trade with Learn 1 g-"' The day will come when they'll be fomid But, to be brief-consult your fame And go back gravely, as you came • Or we shall send you somcuhat fas'tcr Nor for your wounds afford a plais er -Look at that form which soars in ajV Tf .T , ^"^^ ^^''"cs like a portentous star ' It IS th' armorial symbol briphf nr l ' , Who sought not a super or fime Th TT'.""'^.^ commercial Knight See how lis ensign is^unTurS ^"o^tL^f " iMerchant's na^'e: And rinpc «,;»!, .1, ,, . ^^^ ^"c Lmponum of ihn wnrM Yonr OiTk.V "" ""i'^'' • ^""'? ^^V^^^ view, """ •' mi our Uwhsh worship and vour Tr^M, . lie m Its motions we descry ^ our Lrew ; Yes, on success I calculate, ^ As sure aV-^ no TOirS OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Thus I have clearly stated the amount fuKO^T^'f'^ °f,T j"^' account™ ' Anil, ^9°°^ ^''"'"- Cocker I have heard All that your wisdom has preferr-d • And I entreat you turn your head, in which such numbers have been hiwl And see a certain wnd prevail To .■noi,^ ' , From which my wise soothsayer drawf An^?' S"/ ^hoPP^'- turn tail j And you may he Jhistn^^e pr"o=tim '"'^' '° ^"""^ ^'-"'- ' But talking ilTli^tle'u'slZ'" ^" ^".f /'-•' As Critics now when call'd to due^ Di'l' Tf \ ^'"'"'^ "^^ ""«•" No more with shot °or bullet "pou "'" "'"'^ "'"'"°" f"^'- I u wound with ink, and kill w th paper • ^°* sides for conflict dire prepare • " And soon ^^ir^l^l^T^.i^'^'^'^^^l-^'^'^, , With equal fori th'l'"^'^ ";'° ^'"'"'rd-Street. ^^^' Short was tfet^^^f "f.^'lf'-^^f ^ 7^^ "^-P^'"'" ^ For aid on Stationers {^tlC 'Shevf ,*^ '^''^ f°-« "^d. And this same^HalUheirtV '- LKd^^ '' "'^'' *'^" ' A,,, T°. "^^ » sort of neutral ground • """ The Pos J.anTow his da oTw ?v^^"'^ '"" ^^^^ ^«^^^- His blasts were vain-they would not do • ^}if.{^'il'r-^ooks disordered flew ' While ^^;;^^;.fro,^ Bow-steeple clock Chaunted.n^rd^Sfe-?',-^^^^^^^^^^ . Forth from the Baid/a troop wls^a t™'^ '""""""^ ="^'"- E„. .1, °'^ S''^" ^"d fours and fives X/-^«,/ ?he'^:S^e&-'t: "'""' ^«-''--very W. When nobody would underwrite 'em And now these doughty cits were beat But met to ^0^^^^ Xnlnf^ ^ff' , 1' To a new contest ^'^^^r^^^^ ,,,^„^^^ ^^^^_ eard V )er turn tail ; your cause ; k the truce." ommon fuel, overthrew ; Id be paid ; rions back : forces fled, heir Hall ; «ng trade: hem both. ng strain. very low. gnature ; e Bank ; d home. /AT S2rAIiC/f OF THE PICTURESQUE. j j j Thus the Old Classics having beat But as thev nnc ^'a^""' ^°'' '^^-^^ Cokman-Streei • nut as they pass'd, a numerous host At Coo//rX//n// h.A f % ?Ar ^^"';?°''^' "^-^hins play'cl the fifc ' ^'^^ ^^^'" P°^^ Which caird them to the mar al s rife • T^r 'u""? «f pointed darts and lances ButFortuneTwh'oittt,fd" T?"' Tf '^'^'^^ . At lengthls^ "^i:^^^::^ ^^^Tn \ i3ut while the e:hoing wallf ar?und wl ''}' ^A^^'^^^^'^^n^^^n retreat : Agam the vengeful foes appeared AcainT^' ' ^^^"'^^ ^°"^ ^'^^^^n^' >' /tirn^Xt^veZe^^^^ i:^roni war, when conquest is dis-race ?" TOth all the nan.cs that end in ,]; "^"^ ^ophocles Hail sacred tomes r' he said, " to vm. I grateful ow'd vvhatc'er I knew '^ iTom you I ga n'd niv mortal fnmr. -ri 7 ' To you the immortal ^o™r i m ™ ' Tn°j'°"?, "^ 'V^hohr's name : I come from that Celestial HaU^ ' "'" "^ ' ""^ "^"'"^ •• He spoke-^X' f'rFl^^rc!!;;*^??^ ^°" ••"'•" Its back no verbal title bore But mS""",""'" '?'' ™'^f"' "'-"lie : otraight to the fo^°i?af aST'S' 4/"'TY YEARS ! ." While.hat^lVt^.?;^;!.!X'4lfsB&';'l!'°"r • flficm, a thousand vdce, runi "' '" """'"S ^='P"=''=- A flight of ^%2, wL't^ri'S^^^'tT™? : These saw the foe's a,"' chilPd^vh^'^d^^I-f ^^'" """«"'"■• Ti^bled and shriek'd aloud, and fled! ' Tl,«n- J ?'„"?■" ^nish'd from the view • In f- 5" ' "'""S'" 'h<= <:'assic elves te^nSs^^S&r^^- I>keand^e^lLtSlX°^^^^^^^^^-m, . ^ur would I change niy Classic lore. V^^ nf T^r'^^flf^^-'^^^^ry: Which ploddino- anxious In aicn pioaclmg anxious trade can eive constant doubt and fear to live. 112 "^VR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX My treasures arc all well secui-^d i Within .,. ^J.et:sVo"=' ^--I'o ^vill flom him And should^' d? TXo'uTJ// T' ^'■'" Whether he other pleasures'sKs,' ThansordidT'"' ^°/ T'^y '-", How oft IVe pass'd an evening hour' """^ 2°'''^" "='"•«•' W, h,„ ,„ hawthorn's humble bfwe" T . i'""^ ^'.loutl each charmino- line ' Though We?i h pas*cl'b7-'^^'';^ Georgics°sS: Nor c"ould .he sZw rnV'^ni?/ ttf"r' ' '?" T '^"^ling envy rise • When homeward as I us'c" o st?fv° ^'7, "'= '""""■'■•'l Poefs^page' F"';f ""'d as I stroll'd along, ^' Wifh pT/'" '"'/'■^1"<^""='f 'vay,' ' f^" "hat worldlings never share • "^""^ P^'.'o'nela's evening song Such hours.are few^rbut well we°k now" "'''" '>"'-' care'l MyLord|oEi,^pSt^'-hou. Till night broke up the Tt"te-k-Tc(e. P'easant prate, CANTO XXVI. Th^'^nn^.^'","'* ''"=""' ""^ following dav And on the -m r^; X tT""'' l??'^ ?''^ "'^^ ' ° But Grizzle, having iv'd if dover % '"'""= "^^ ^"^^'^ "'e-' the plain Nor, till they'd t?avenv?l'^7r';iS "J^"^"- ^o™ : Nor; to tha^m'oS 'dw'?c' 'n"d''%a?k"^P^i;"'™ "«'<' ">« his way • Had left her ears and tlnteh nd*' ^' '°'"^ ^''^°" ""ki'-d,' " ,?,? «■■ ™'"''- good beast," he kindlv -iiirf . VVhatthough^^ttiSXTru^^^^^^^^^^ ^ our master will reward your mS' IN SEARCH OF TIIF P/r-rrrr, r^r^^ Ano,I,er day thcy journcy'd on ■ T, "'''"'^'^''^- I IJ Nor as he pass'd he st,^.f f^P^Hont wiit ; ^''' But Madam soon her speech ?./ ''^'^ ^" ^P^^e Yes -iuL ^ >'*^"^ boasted book • Such IS the matrimL "t S' „ . . . _ And gave them all a hn^i h ' >"«••"' ^-"'-M love cylwt - - ^ ri uuuma to rnnm I .i-.-ii _k V.""'' ^ > A. length, ^^:'Zi^^.^"Z\tf^^-- play, The Doctor found^a time to say- 114 TOUR OF DOCrOli SVNTAX "The fatted calf I trust you've slain Fo^%itl!^L;tLtC^bV"^^"' '""'"^ t?-^ ^ ^-ter thin, by half. That dish " he crikl, " I'd nathS see "^^^'^ V ""-^^^'^ '^^ O," he continued, " wlia ?ble "i"/ "''''^'^'' °^ ^^''^''^'^^^' To have a wife so fond of dress „/• Who With such taste and skill ?an iork Shenowre;^^-^-lj;^»^^ssthe^^^^ Whoe'er has pass'dTn idle [our "'^ '"^P^^ ^° P^^P^^'^' Musthaveptlte^^ Nay, more-that t't oft^^^p^Tif'" '^ "^^^'^ ^° ^^^^ : And while hl^^a^Sh^'Tn^S^^^^^^^ Or?as he smSS Sf-fe--^ ^^-^ to tell a tale : Now smiling, and now looking-vvfse in 1 T'^ S J^^^^' °^ "moralize" : ' And vyhen the curious spirit stiri-'d him ^j, That man, I trow, is doubly curst I o s>t and sorrow and co^pIa?„; ^""^ "' \ I'f ^» "ake the best : In adverse state there is no vice, More mk.w "^ '^^"^ '° <>">• Pa'n. 1 IS by resistance that we claim ThV rh,^ ?™V' "'="' 'Cowardice ; If you resist him, e'en Old Nick r ."^''"^'"n ^ venerable name Fortune contemns the whining slave And W.? '"%'n^ditated trick ] " In all this self5samrch1™ir'd St rifr''' "P"" *^ '^'•^^^• WhateVr ,1,7"^""" *"'' '" 'he road o?l fe * """' w?"' 'I'^'y g^eat. Who „obVmee?s th^eT' "'• °f °™' When Iightni„^s%'ash'air;fekv°"-"' And thunders growl in sympathy ' Wuh calmness to the sea conforms Hedoesnorrl?=Sr;;i?.r-~3: Be" t"h^.^ !.™.L?£>« »? ?oSf "'"^""'^ ^'•*- ' *or well he knows each p-erilp;;?; " HeWe' to fin^ u f , nes sure to find a home at last "iiff by half; kill'd a pig ; I can desire ; "ary's taste.'' or Fricassee. ■ to prepare, h'd to talk : > ^^W a talc ; ■ the best : our pain, ivvardice ; ble name, ed trick ; the brave. subdue ; our own. of Fate ; shelter ; ^ at last. ^^ /.V SEARCH OF THE PICTURESQUE tl » Butters l^^^^S^ - tl^cir bu. your te.per .J Combat the^^SnS^^a^SS^^:;^^^^ J." If spite and Mafi^^ W^y 1 1?" '' ''^''-'^^ -^-'t. Look calmly'/n^nS^'She^da:?^^^^^'-^^^^^ Nor let you^angr^spiJit tr ' '' """""ir" ^^^^^^^ ^-nest heart • Ik g°°^ "]an never fails to wicur"'^"^ "''''^^'^ ^° ^^^^"^n.' Ti^^^l^^-iK"^"?1^'^' Which ncvci hi s fn t! ^V?"f^:'^ ^^^^ st^i^e AncUvhen he meets'h," fina doo n" 'w 'if f^ Bear ^nc\ fordear-^x dogma Trie 1 ?'™ "" ^"°1^^^>' ^^^ his tomb If you would lighten every care, A,f ,' ^'""-''» ^''^clom ever drew I o be secure from vile disgrace L nnl f ''''•'>' '^'^''^^^ ^^arn to bear' And, ,f the foe's too strong^ ;etr'cat jil'''T''^/ovtuno in the face ! Calmly avoid th' o'erpow'ri ,g fr'tf No^ fi V?^ f '^ >'"" ^'''^ ^^^en boat ' Foi- yo.f can scl-ce-bel^ dt'we d" ^"" ^^" ''^'"^ ^^ Vousopresl^nt^^rs^^r^^^^^^^ (v • . f^^^ '^^" t^^e booby rise "^ ' vvniie 1 his flock to virtue steer FovT i ^^ ^^l^'»ified pluralihVq • A flock alas - he does no? S '' ^^'^^^'f '-"'d thirty poun^ds a-y^ar • h ^^1^0 have borne the heavies? f^te Th. iotl^'^V^""^^-^ ^^^^>^ '^^^^«'v ' For when a man's the sdo"; of Rn ^'^''^^"'"^^'^ toil av.ait: To keco a school ihLf Vf , heaven, '» (Nor wi,en «,aUhot[1l^^^^^^^^^^^ He did not menn f r« ° P^ Lucian spoke, Men mth superior minds endowM M " ''''',' ''•^'=" ^ "fe of cares Though -fs their humble lot to dwell In ^'°"'''^°'" "« '"i'-'d cS v"' Or, by Danie Fortune poorly fed Ti" '^,'? " '■^'."■'^■"^fs distant cell; To lead thelife thafi' have led °" '"™'^'= ^°' "><='■■ b'-<=ad i ■ If n,^4ToXralX ,t5 "»'- ^^ -«« -'^y Hour : But al, the X-^^^^r" "^P ^-" ■■ ' "^'''"' rogardless or degree, iff "i "-'moof genius shine Learninn- T *i>„.ri. -i' . ^^ rnav be snnf to ch;.,^ .... . ii6 TOUR OF TlOCTOR SVXTAX Fortune reri,s'd my heart to cheer : Tf! '"sP'""g laurels crown'd BeguiPd bynt:?oft ?o;l'oV*"^ fortune Vrown-d ! Or. in a deartr.;?:,5 "lle^^e'n""'' "Tf^ '^^' ' . Which flows i„°Virgil's eviv le '"'"^^'' '"' '"•'^^"' """n^. &«-:;rdit^^ .» the ...» And ort - <^-^io_y^e^^^^^^^ Virtue my best but sole rewarf ^^^ ''' ''"'''' . . ^h'l™7//i'ole income could but kecD Ne'er™ol7r^'"S °" "'= ^hcep '" For 111 t1,nf r "^'f ■'^y ''^5='<= store r or all that CrcEsus had, or more • Nor would I lose what I hav"read Though tempting Fortune, in ifs steid Tl.at this IVe pS through',?,;!!?^ VCT"" t""' -- <)-- 1 But this my /eelings never grieVd ™ ''"'^ """'^^ fo'^ I I ne'er retortd, l^^^' ">- -'"- -dv'd ; "So that my'DoUy's clothes weTe fil'""*^™"'"" "'^''^"''=- So that on f 'ry"|Ibbih''^ ^ ''°^' for mi/er^ """' S t^e ht^fe,™ 4t »"■'• ='PPear in trapping, gay. Tin '^'.""^ "'••'"^ =''^°"t 'he town But, she wal'" Sn^t"''' "''^ ^'™°^' ^roW : I'n'S l'"'?Sled hard to save the pelf • ""'' "'" "'"^'Wlity. I do believetup'ontfwo?! might except herself, ^tnS^: t"^tr£ r- "Br ^^ - -P-^ teach Nay, when o/^ea&h IVe been "ihe^eer"™'" ^" '"^'^ ^^^^ =' I never faiW «,e"iK P"^' '" '°°^« ^ snee ' J'''' <' lu.r D..?- "■! J*« .'o join. And „aM' ,l,„„ .<^ , . . "■■'■ "'""'' "' "= '"' '^" l^«. With prebend stoil'.aii'Kvfn^'^t^";^; AV S£.,;,CU OJ^ mE PICTURESQUE. id rusty coat ; itrcani divine, to the walls : istophanes, — i^ait and gay. ever drew J n my wife ; Its forbore. ailor's art ; intry folk : e ridicule. >ings gay, otability. 3referr'd. Ic teach, rry eye ; iic coin. ^ three, A * II ""^ ""-t UKESQUE %^m Ye I (lul not my cloth distrrnce n ''^°^^- '° '^""^ m povertv ' But a,u>vcr d from St. Paul,T„ Greek A f/f'T,""? ^.'""''^ '" \Sltl • Soona^erMKcJ^^cCl^?:^-- To Hyme„.rr!Ce''tK'^''\" ^ ^^'^^^y^T """'^ "-^^^^ --^h ■She t.4s or liX^t^^'; ;iLS, n's«r -T '° ""'f "'^ ^cd : Let'X' '"'■;l-'.'^o«or, do you et? ' ^" ^-'"-ccsins. When I, wttrjtVreS''^''''^'-.7£ S'nce .he is gonc'Ivh re a,rmus1 Z^^ Tha. one o/Z^^^eVS^re''-" "^ J '^ That great man being forc'd to come Bv o^;f/''!:''?'"P "' GuildhaS ! To end some quarrel ', "ei„ Z ^^1°^ ">« I'opo of Komo The Oilman" aid'?J? ^'? f f',""" ^™-n 'o?e? -Tis'th ?|t'c^f,^:'^^,f;-- a mons.rct,s while ago. Whose blood holTtm^tTn^cf- scourge each fool I meet 7 if^.f bearded head must ^op' ,n'to"he: The P„„Vs^--fe|5«^^^^^ But While lu^ Life-^ r^'IgXad, VV^hitrubTs-?'^''^"". "^ ---d- iY'* "« •->" omen to portend "" ''""'"<='' my abode, I did .0 myXt,:?entTo :; "^"' "l*'"^^ ;™u,d mend, Ha,l social tube ! thou'foe to Care" cri;'^,'"^ ^^^^ ' ^o now. Fo«,,,'d not with cold and Stoic T°" °''"" ^"^^ <:hair - Seci?.f.?^''-^^vrmr^ ^ ?ha^'he"T !f'.r-''-oSfarer'"'' ^ Th» , .,*'"', daily smokes two nine. The tooth-ache never has-ror ^l^^es. TOUR OF DOCTOR SYia AA With these in silence calm and still, My Ddlv's tnn.c , -tofV-A^ r'^''"'d "^'"d to bear i-ei 1 rides loose sons prolontr tho nf.rVrr"'!,"""*,"' '■^turning care. I envy not their jovial noise TI?o~n," n^ ^'i I^acchanalian deli.r^t • The luscious wines that Spain can bo-fsT n' '""^ -"^'-^d' j'^tempVate jo yV »»f(F£sH::::'"-"""-" Th^' ,"'°"''' ""°''« ^s I do now • S-•' ^'-"'''^ ' nut » offer-d by my gratitude To the r™,iVfu™'''"ff ''•""ifice WW,°JS ''''"' ''? =P°'''= ^ taMo ! the Dame" "' ""= 8'=="'-" If you will teh me what has pass'd^ ""^ ^' Burgundy io me. « O " ^h. V J-'"? u ^ embrac'd each other last " U, she replied, "my dearc=;f Inv.. ^"u- • * It was at Church she showy her a L' • voLt?i^?,iLVii,eTrr'F-- Cut deep,-the HaVlet Sn'otUi -'^^' = There's Lawyer Gncspall got a beating Our honest Zl^TerlZ^^^^n-J"'^^^^^^^^ = He ordered home'^rX of b e^^Andlvhen' -f """"^^'^ """"can tell Havmg shavd off a pou?d or two "'' Retm- "dT^' ";' '"""g^y 'htV. The fraud discovery words arose " """''' "°' do When, as h^"?e .l^Jl?,';!/?''?^':'' -<">> blows .• ' ' "' "-• --^'^ ^ot a thrashing for his dinner." o longer shrill, /AT SEARCH OF THE PICTURE: irO :? with myself; what is great, what is good, 'ff cup of ale ; vious dream ; turning care, han dehg'it ; mp'ratc joys, tanian coast, ling power .' ^^^y chair \ P^ sr.crifice the good/' nant treat, tidy to me. cier move, d as ever. ^•ith fat.— ' can tell. ^ry thief, [ not do, dinner,* xcusc wir admit, ther'sfa. ;se(^n; ^e your appeti! Said Syntax, " If I had a son," . ""'/' he continual/' if a bo^VMe,nrdc\VDo,, fjf"" ''VV^^^' I'd sooner, far, the striplintr see tk . • ' 1° f.™'™ <""•}' Than to a dire Attorney b ml him WI,.r„ 1 1 m 'f "^ "^ ''"■= Advcrsilv She added-" Yes whhnA", 1 r,^! p ' ^ °''' .'^ "=K '= ^'"e 'o find him' liut e'er you leryoVlreholtbu S Lcrh!; v<;';L''i!r„'T '1.'^ ^l-^^^'' The Doctor though.'his j„"y ttfc "" '""'■' ^'-^hm first." Neer loofc'd so handsome in her life Her voice he thought grown wond'rous sweet • c„ „ , . ^° ■""> a most uncommon treat, ' So much in tune, it made him lom^ To \^r■■^r \, n. ■ ■ "Come, sing, my charmer," SyntaV aW ^'"'" '" " '°"4- fnv."' 'l;"»"P'ri"K 'lame obey^! "' .id he t, 4T-'^ne?nrHV°Sl^,V;r- -™^' Let ^,?iK Sm^^„ra"=ower "I'cl^,^" ^"^^'^ "^hts prepare. Thither lead the lovely fair ' "a '? '"^'■'''' ""^'ial bower; This is thine and Hymen's day ! H^L to I)r.'i'P'l''i,'°°' '='= "■"'^• An'dtrP^'r^"'^'™^^ themrolv^c^^' •' "='"« ^^^ '" And Mis. Syntax was the same : ci, u J . ^^^^" (^^^ 'twas not done beforo^ She heard the Doctor's storv oVi- Wi/i, \\.^K By joy, by vanity Si'd ^ ' ^'j' ^" ^'^^ ^T' ^^ ^^^ '» store; To turn from their tremendous blows. At length, of golden ease possest, J> angry words, no frowns moloqi- • No symptoms of domestic strife. DltuHVH tt..- ^nH I. Jr '^' oui.c\r.,,^X the Oilman's wife "'' ^''^ ^^'''^ "^^' ., The dame exclaim'd, " Mv r.„ • ■'°^'*1"an W'okthu -! _, . ' know not how to f,-n ■„ ■'^ ^'^'^'^'^n t">y. '"kJHV. This ,5 the height of my des re ^l ■"?>'• „ Bat sfiU a p^'T'd? de^'ejt"" '''"' '"••>'',--^ ••' P"" But you n.a^';?4tnrp.',ni:l^"" "}'?'-""-m ^' """'^"S i.st ; ^'i,t'daysa,V^o"U°;'t^^fI°''"epast, Hr she, ta„d maid, wfaf fSi^ bt', ^"^ ad.ed to the wei.ht. ,„,. . ^'-'^ci Aalpho went. • circuit seen • slulJings cost. -'«!> tin gold; in his stead, o the Lakes ^^-playing : '" ihe hares. " succeed: ssiongivc\ fo attends or more: io mine ; 'JT/neud, 'Squire." u S™'^' '^V. Each virtue woo'd Lch duL don. Its welcome form m smiles array'd Nor fears of future evH lour ''™^V„ ,"" °" T"" P'"'°"= '"^^'s on, -Thus Syntax and hs darlin-- wife NrlT "'"• f'"''= "i" P'^^™' hour And since'itwas theirluo b!d:'''By''wfck.s'SetTdm "^'"'f = They might have claim-d, ^r I'm mtakfn'^' ' ""'""''' '"^'' A symbol tll"'s kn^owlf ^^prt"' ' Ve'n^'V"'.^'''"" V AndwMch Xnn^en^'yl,ns1?J^r-f--''<^'ove; As the first boon on this side Heaven Of^n V.t^'^' k'''' ^?^h^d nought to fret her, , V. ^^^ "^^ whims had got the better • Amongr her higher neiehboMr. <.h. t? '"f;,??,, _!! ?, . . ., - And every stated feast "that camT" *'"""n.-J''^ ^"^ ¥''? ^^'^ irequent tea, Wh,le from 'the'pooTin ParSh ^rTde '"^ ""P"'''"^ "^"^ ' 5he ne er was known to turn aside. 126 THS TOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX. I; 1 1 As in the millinery art, ci , , , . The Doctor, too, in better stntfolf '"" '""'''" ""'« =•""'. Nay to describe "^Za)T^)!^V^' '°-''" '•"«"' f-h-" ; Than wlien lie liv^S by Pedan, R,?e' aT' "''r' '*'•'?" "^= ■•••"'"^■- b<="er, "i--VT "« '° ^t^NiSe -:;"''••■" """>^'^ School ; H.S hat had not tlut squeeze forlorl ' Some*inl''?h';"? 'r,'"* "°'^ ""f"ri B£dt;r^Bi,ryf;^^^^^^^^^^^^ Or '„^ ,1 ., '''^''-' ."^y "inter's fire; Or m,d tlie pipe's surroundinc- smoke To animatetecTa i;™;'"t^^=-' J" ™ Never from eomSo "s^'ride"^'"" """{?," f"'^, j'-erdant bower : Oft d,d Its sounding strings prolonsr ThYt ''''/''^ '''''"<= '"'d ^^ide f '^.Pffl too^pelrSS its duti """ "'' """ '"^'•'^ ^""S- Scarce rose a cot Ithlf S'A^ ^ '","='=i='P^ ^'=»'«y •" Whose whiten'd «: L didtumpLt Jo'n'' "^^ ''°"'"'''" ^id surround -The parents to 1, f reVrencTbent"'^ °' "*= ^""•"^'^ "'•' J he children smil'd Where'er he went • Ne4 feM ti^'^if^' '" \^^"> ■-''S; ^Ne er laii d to wait upon his name Syntax was by the 'Squire carSd ^ en though a dariing hope appear'd And joy untold their hosoms?Wd- For Nature, without fuss or pother ' At [east'^f,'' 'Y '^'^ ^^^"^^ be^ a mother • ' At least th obstetric Doctor Bone * ^^.''t u"' J°y ^^«"W be the^oin —Ye who have felt a parent's Dle^^ir; Thp „^?"S:hts of Syntax and his Daire Would offer ,fA .L'"f ?Ji°P^^ '^^g"il'd, A little Syn^\^^::Sl3^^^^^£^ an Hei, P^'^ve A father's pride, a mothei-'s love ; AV SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. 127 M- il'l'^^i!'^" '*°7'^ '^'^^^ P'-^P'-^'s knowledge, 1 hough Madam harbour'd in her breast A v7i<;h hv f^tv^.u u That, as the choicest boon of Hea;c„"k''fc:™lX™bt'o:i'd"'?f,[:^^' Which, when she dandled in her arms i^e ^ivcn Might smile in all her Mother's charms • But they contriv'd their wish to smother Th„e c . • , ^P ^^^^ ^^^^^^ fiom each other. Thus Syntax with parental pride The curtain'd cradle fondly eved And oft, with a foreboding joy, ^ ^^^^' Would think he saw the slumb'rinff boy • Nay sometimes thought, in fancy's ear, ' Tu 1 ^"^, ^uJ*se's lullabies were near. 1 he ale was brew'd, the heifei-'s life Waited the roadv Snfrf^^v'o 1 -r But be it toM to N^^n^J^Sr Th?K t^^K^^/.^e' The alio ted season now was pass'd, ''"''^• ^ru^-, °A'^^'"^' Midwife stood aghcast, While Galen, 'mid a string of pauses On Nature's whims and final causes : Declaim'd with solemn look and air :— Then calmly ventur'd to declare With cautious whispering o'er and o'er. He ne er was so deceived before Th unlook'd for tidings Syntax heard, Axn,-i .1. ^^ *^^^ ^^°^^ ^'e^> now pale appear'd Which rage will write on mortal faces, ir^'i'','- 'H j' stamping round the floor, -Just as hifdirhn ' tpe^nSctrle^rf ''^ f °^' ■ . I will not heighten myTstr^r""'' By'Sa's'e;! of h' "^'"'^^• To-day, he cried, I will annoy Each Lurco 'f mn? ''P^'']^.'' ' The bridal folk slLl share my so?rovv! °^ "^"^"'"^^^^i J^X. J?u "" ^'!M '^^d t^em till to-morrow ! I he Bridegroom bow'd in humble suit. ^ItJf., ", ^ J"^^ whisperd— " What a Brute n* While the Clerk, trembling, pale and fad At 1...^ ^. ^^^'^^ '^^' ^'^ ^^^'^^"^^ wafgonrmad • At least, he was not in a state c t, 1 ,' . And they must see anothe Sun Before the whVd°^ '"' '," "'^'''•'"<'' A«IEN declared, " I have a w fe wt^^Jl wjshd-for work was done. Yet oft I've though, .hr-^^tlfb ocn Z/ht fom?!" a dav^' '''"•■ ' And though you now so sad depar? ' ' ^ ""°°" ' T^,. . .,... W"h downcast look and aching heart. ■ "" ^"^ M^/lh'^;is'h nt^J^come, {)t tt^ f" "^ ""P^'-' ^^^^ Thnc , u-i !i?^ J. ^y ^^^ ^^^" delayed for ever '" Thus while the disappointed folk ^Stole offTo meet the gen'ral joke '""^ TOTO OF DOCTOR Sr^VTAX. And furnish out a villao-c tnlp (-..« ?f °? ?•'>''-■" by mild rcal'ning strove An'cf S',?^,"'" ^ ™'"^^ ' A being he, of bSutrrsmouW^^"|,,^fi»'"»'^"^'= divinely given • End dv,hvarioul^,o^^rfJotb^:^"-^-*joyL\oId; A life r.rr.nfllfi.^.^^tt^^lf ""'" '™"" '„■ , I o such a task, to such great ends' On xvh^rh ., r^^"^ ^" Immortality Nature proceeds by certlin lu.les VVhich n.V k ^™S ^^^^^^ depends She may mdeed, howe'er intent, ^^^''^ S f 'f ^^ "" ^"^^««^s- Ur, If by Ignorance pursued, u.rr .J ""toward accident • And I refer this sad ado, ^^, /J^ \l ^^^' Purpose to deceive I thmk ,t true what Galen says, ThouS ^H.^. ^ ^^*"'^' ^ut to you TAa^Ar^^sJou^, a„d knows 'o Wi,e'"?Vit V^^rVra' "".'.'^T^ wt' ^r f''-'^ ^"d well mT' ^'^^P ^^^ ^^i^y fees He spoke, trnTo^h^D^CL^^C^^^^^^^^^^^^ Agam he sought the P« Led'^vul^^^^^^^^^^ -J^ adieu. « W^llT' ^' ' ^'' T^'spered to the Nurse'^' """ ^^""'^ ^""^^^ = Will I pursue the Doctor's course ; )r milking-pail, iment to prove he could aver, 1 be deceived ; fault of mine, ither's name ; ■ may appear,' look replied : m mistaken, k man's fate, \xtitrc cures ; m Creature • 'uld deceive to be found,' 5 the flood ; ^ely given ; oy behold ; ^mortality. ^ depends, 1 but fools, accident ; derstood ; > deceive ; "t to you. Ts' praise, ^aily fees. Lid adieu, ^e tread ; :?l m o Bi N( Hi Ah He He Lirii Int( And SVN If it InU ^^ SEAH ir OF CONSOLATIOI/, J2() I'll leave the dear aneelic creaturo Ac u ' , , ^'^^ ^^^^^^^ ro"ue : With .hofe kprshe^ es^?p"aJ^"' '"'^•'^^' '" ^'''"-. Of sago she^shl,n;?,;;°„f °"^'° ""l And kitchen physic slial? re Sre hI?K L"°T '^'" ""=• •>" "P- His Rev'rence told them to Xtire "'''' '^'''"■" The cushion ™^ tt flrrtl^1pt"J Th^eT-^^i , Cahn and compos'd The patif'^av ^'^L''^'',"'^' P'^":'^ "P™ the bed : To ?JeaUh.s%''r''^'fo:,;rhe ii'l^r"" '"^''"^^ " P^^ ' Bu. she, whit ^4 iKi^r ■''"•™"^ '"^T ^ „ K Ne'er made responses as he p ay'd Nor J; i a" "'"'= ""'«' divine, He nade his oft'ring to the sk cs H„t ^L ^!"''", '° "•"" '"= said Thus, as'sleep :een?d' to ov^ruket" ' """ °''' ''' ^^«- He gave his caution not to wake her ; When the Nurse, hanging o'er the bed Alas, alas, l'?eaf to'say'' "^'^."f '^ss, Si^l'Sead - -As if by' some dTre sLke subdueS F„r" ^^^ •"" J"1ffn'ent-Day .» Then, witlf ™t^"thlrst'oL"des?r '""^ "S""^" '^ ^'"'"^ He kiss'd h?r^li?,f ? °'''*'' ?"'« "'='™ 'her4 : H^rta?.,''^^ ''.^oTo Tef be:;*™ ' '^^:::^ .'!- '-ft of eVry charm ; Death was rriumpt'„t,_l:S}l^;;- V'er '""'"' °'"''^' "-' ' And his dear Dolly was no more —His agonizing bosom burns Grief made himS bm ^STtear" 'l??^' "j^ '""" = Into the chair his form he thre J " Adfeu ''°he^r '5" ''' "'i'=*^ "PP^--- The tears then camr-L.lfet.shig oo'd '"' ^"'^ '""^" '" S ream'd down his cheeks and did h,m good • Ti,. ^''7 '^'''™'' •'« kast his furious mood ' There ar<-, who eager to dispense Wl -ft ,^„ ' When sofrow comTs'contril^.o flout'if'''" of eloquence. And for a timVlt '"ef irdTspdit "^'''\f,r ''' . SVNTAX was o'f this sect profest- To ,^ t "^ ^'■^i '^"' »"°"'d «» tell it And he won AtkVt'^^ny te:''" *"= '-'" "- ^est. If i. bu. ch.-^y^d 'his"^otu^?.;^^yr"' P7-'"l , ,. . Nor though.1,e that^^a real ill^"'' "'"'' ""' "^"^^ «"^"^y •• Which did not make his .ongue lay still — 1„ .-If ! allow'd his .ongue to move • In tJking now he sought relief, >nd thus hVtalk'd .o ea,. .;. ^■.^. .yao, iiyvv arc my hopes hegml'd ! ' "" ^"^' '^ This morn I look'd to have a child ; if 130 r//£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX I thought to see her view the boy n,.. 1 , ?f" ^*y^^ t'l^'^t spoI•- And „s.d tota^^m l^^^^^^^^ ; Had f'f ?, *'"■ S°°d -b" nV.'^h^vac^^^ "™ away, And then w"hl "theTeasfnto'™'" "^'^^A,- -He told Of Lakes' oVs^c',; ^^^e, TH^t^: ^t" r^ "'''*' '" -, KeswicX^x. «;>.«« ♦^ xi.!. ,"'"' ^^ lie thought on't. tn h- — — ' Was but "a pond in S^S yfrd ''"'^''''' " " "^ '' "" l^„^.^^^^-.t^..^vhose roar VVas il'^H .,,_, ^ntyipjles or more- He ^heir tops were seen (juite :h a height, out of sight 0—3 '3* TirE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX If I And slioiiltl e'en Keswick's Lake be drain'd T1,A »v,5«u* .^ ^^"^ '''^^^''* '^ contain'd, And young and old, when met to quaff ^ ' And for a timrforgenhfir'c^re '' """"^^'r^^ In sluf ^i'oe'oX^chanc'd t^me^f '""^^ '^"^ ^^^ ^^-- Thoucrh u.hnnT """!* 'P''""^*' beneath their feet ; 1 hough when he saw pale sorrow near, For either eye he had a teir H.s thoughts were never fram'd with arl, ^ "" !*^^'- WK Y'? ^?^ I-'inguage of the Heart : Whate er he said, whate'er he sung. For ;f K., J ""' "''>''■ ^'^'"'^'^^ "P^n '^'s tongue : For .f by ch^-nce o p ease the folk, And laugh and wonder to provoke. IT "J tiuth,— It was ni joke --Hcd seen so much and been so far, Thnf K.-c „ • ^'''^ '" P^'^^<^ ''^"^l talk of war, I AT did his mournful silence break. ' vZ ^ ^'m"','."" ^'^°-^^^ '^'^^^ '^''e to blame : T»« • 1 »!, ",^^' ^•*''*^^ s »one that never came • Vcs , wouM do it f al':|-' As if .Lr„'5ru'';ai'shiSr: And many a shilhng she has given, ^ * XT -r, ' ^^^'ch now will pave her wav to Heaven -■■ '■•■• 's-sKs siHiffr •'•'■'•""^ 1 o toss the Doctor in a blanket : While you for Madam Syntax' sake, An A T ,i "'? .^^^'^ '''^'0 s'^o^l^I a corner take • 1 he V icar makes a sad to-do • And roars and s amps md weeps, God bless him T.I., . As >f some spirit did possess him. " '^'^"^ '^"^' I do not wonder, for I know Whnf 'tL f« r , .t. My first wife died ere I left Frin 1.a ^'^^''fi^^ ^e parson's woe. Nay, how I suffe?'d in n mfnd' Wlfen llfr^^T^ a volunteering : But surely I did not nedL^'em Wh.n T >^7-^ ^^"""^ ^^^^'^ ^^^ind ; Is't not enough to makc?him rave To l^'''^ ^^i'/^'^, '° P^°^^^' ''^'' He who has lost both one and t'other ?' Good gentleman, I'm sure he'll grieve * rrom Midsummer to. T ,,e tt,,. No, his is not a common ,m rrow That weeps to-day and nriilcs to-morrow : AV SHAAl U Oh' CO,\i,OLA TIOX. '33 ithin an hour, i^arious treat ; id wao there. e had a tear. r to provoke, and debate, 'omy shade : 5t her head ; I her Kravc, la shiUinu : O 9 e had none, lost bough. •son's woe. jntecring : -s behind ; rotect 'em. i to have ; of his life. It will I'm sure be manv -i Hav n c '" Ilofore he makes a b!7u'%^ "'^"T, J'""' °"«, '""« "ec hi,,, .ay . i or faith I hope he calls mc rMu . ' So I'll go horned I'n .''''' ^'"' '""^^^'^ '^'^ '^ng ; ' few iiwiuL, as I m a sinner Wifh And many a meal I ,'„i^.ht have wr.cd"''''^'"'"' ''"'' ''''"'" i Wh^ h„V!'"' ''""^ '^'•"1 ll>™, well ; Oho " crie'd \,l .. ,;;■ L,„ ,„ ,;'--'"™»S- -t ".c village end. oraiuhingrs!^ r;^;^;-;^'™"'^'''-, As .hey d,4 ni'^S,1?™^,„^ ;"; ^; L^ke in fishing boat V What a,.e .l,eVco;:^^ai;i-fr^ '" '' '-'f ',,^0^ , "And faith," crt.^>",."'°';?i' f"Sage.'' , , Each head withinyo, Hoiw ' 'i"" '""=■ Has a good tongue thaf 's cacklh,!' fi« a1 , "-r Since fancy did vn., ' „ur tnko '.• ' "'''■" '''••= "^ -''e villaee oast But 'tis no joke- .n,r,„ulVat; H-.: fau^'fr "'"*■' "" '''^ 'SLt I w.sh ,t ,vere su.ne foolish Scer That nowa^d he '"- '^'"''^ Sonie nonsense that is often Dlav"d ^ ''^PP™ ''««: 1 w,xt man and wife and ,„a,, and m, id • 1 hat makes the pots and kett es so m ' V„ .,■ ^,°''^'? ™"5"= »" the ^illa"e roiind ° ^0, 't,s a melancholy story, \v„ch . "„. • Tho„gh ,vh,Ie I do the tal^'impan "^'' i fee?a1h,?:°"''''>' "^'^"'^ V" : And ,1 1 know your Honour, you, With Ma'nm =. "'"";P'"g a' my heart ■t"" iMadam Syntax? Ti;^?] a^ S,^,"„f/''"' ™" ''<^^ " '"o- "wh ,, '"*"" '? '"'"»" nature." '' What means the man,"'.s<|uir. Worthy said And I am su,i° s^iw f/''^' '^I*^"'"' '"--'ad ^ ^ I ho.J\! ," S:"l.' ^.^ tongue," Patrick replied " he- > - . ,,. ,.^. .^..^ ^^.„„. Whr. ;^ .u 'i \ ^^' ""5.ii 15 runt' Besides, A,4„,"our Ckrk! iectes'"^^"-'"^" '^"'''' ■' '^^^■ Nav h°.T "™^' ^"'' ^'»"'P^ ^nd stares Nay, he has even said, he swears ■ ' ^34 m ii :i T//£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX ueiicvc me, Ladies, such the case is As sure as beauty's in your faces " The 'Squire with doubting pause, received it. liut Ma'am ai d Miss at once belicv'd it Not that I shall presume to say, ' . , \f^'? courteous words had pav'd the way. To quicken their humane belief Of this ^nH fair. r^f,To.*u j -r And bring him to our mansion strait ; You have the power to controul him, While we will study to console him. n all be true that doth appear For our poor friend there's much to fear. —We know what his fond hopes have been • Ac T,« 1 1 >I^f rapt rous moments we have seen, As he look'd forward with delight To visions he had form'd so bridit We dare not think when such distress ^^'^• Whof f.f 1 ■ f^^"^ ^"^ '''^'^^ of happiness, wS^t fuct ^n^r ?fabi:S^^^^' ™^^ '^^ T^'' '''^'^"^'^ --" '- And in wild sorrovv^ hurrWne storm Mn '1' 1^ P'^'^'f .'° ^^ '^'''Sn<^^ Away, nor for renec.pr"%^^ 1 he Ladies spoke, without delay ^ ' AnH f. ^ • • ^^'"'"^ ^^^PP'^ """'^Jy on his way, And to his view was soon rlknlnvVI A • 1 ' And l^f n^.^i ^^' i"*^""' ^^V^^^^' y°" "^"st come, ^ ^^"^ ' And let my mansion be your home Till all this mournful scene is o'er V 1, ^"1 Heav'n shall former peace restore ' Let patience then possess your mind. ' Jie calm, be steadfast and resign'd " « Tis a sad task," poor Syntax said, Ti.. . 1 ^"^ ^^eaven and you shall be obey'd. With a more quick and shatt'ring blast °'*' rhan through my trembling system past. When as the Nurse hung o'er the bed Her voice pronounc'd i^cr voice nronnnnn'H m.r ta„..i: .1 . ■, But yesterday howsweet she smil'd; WiSi e^lr^pleksinghopebeguird ; AV SEARCH OF COXSOLATrOiV, But yesterday I look'd to share With h^r 1 i. t '^^ Now there she hes by Death ly'd ''"^'' ^^''''''' '^'^ > My love despoil'd, my hopes desti ov'd » Senseless and weak I may anneir v ^.-7, r . And feel to-morrow and to-mon-ow Aulhf^^- T^ *« ^^^^ry here, At this strange scene'^quire ^ /f^ 1 '"'"^ °' ^^^^^^^- ' The pang that makes out sorrows Sit To see the Doctor thus it grieved 1 im Where he J^ n !^^S;;;-~cl l|^ : And all that ^Se^I.lle'couMl^^J'^ ^"^^"^^ ^' ^- breast, Was given to check his wish tofdeve -Worthy who knew his Parso? well Would hear him all his feelino-s tell Explam his sorrow, breathe his sit^h An.f r 7 • , Nay let his Elocution pour! ^ ' ^" i'^'S" '^''^ ^^^^ sympathy; I or he foresaw that all this riot Of xvJi./ , ^ torrents by the hour • As infant children, at tl4 breTst, "'toen'r^^^ 7""'^ f ^ '" q'^^^ Nor did this wise contrivance fail ^ ^^^^'^^elves to\est. N.y .0 effectuaTdi^it'pre"'^^^^^^^^^^^ r" ' Nay,asifJrief'had'^Jrc^^^Ti^^T^^^^ Dumb fits had seem'd to be his cho ce'- —His pencil too seem'd to refuse him If. fn? Nor could his pi..ctiVd skill awfn"'' ^'"^^ *° ^"^"^^ ^"". The azure la^i^ef ^«iS^^^^^ True to its master's gloomy thouc^h Th' ' n )i °' P'"^'"' ^^^^^ '* Some monument to D^'jh's jlfrk rei^n ' ''^"^'^''"^ ^'-^"^^^ Sn^r.^' '"? '^*^ P^^^ to stain. ^ ' -Sometimes he pac'd th' adjoinin^r mead And read, at least he seem'd to rc"i^l ' Sometimes at the first mornings dawn H s footsteps mark'd the dewy lawn He^d litTnd'' ^f ^"'^ ^^°'-^ ^^^ done, But whether he sat stilf o?'''n 'if i^'"'"- ^"^- And an th li^/?La1t^^^^^'^' '" WaTl^^^t^o^^^l^'-^^ ^^^^- -^^'^^ At length th' afflicting hour drew ni<.h T. ^^^-^nd be obey'd His silence now at once he broke aS fh„T '""?'^°" ^" ^^^ e»e,-?v. Fear not, for like an Alpine rock r f '" '° ^^"^'^ ^^^^ he spoke With friends ifke vm'';),. Jxi^!" f '^.^^'".tl^e trying sh'ock I i-ywith^7:i.-J-/-y^^^^^ But When I stand beside tl^av. I^^d ^£^1^^^-^; 's(^ THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX in II li ■ il 'i There-more than by my words V\\ teach The sacred duties that I preach ; Hiere all who may be standing round Whpn my dear wife is laid in around Shall see how humbly I obev Th^ V.^ giound, Behold the fun'ral friin ajpea^s - ^'vZ^T ^'•'''. ""^ '^^^' ^^^y-" Six maidens, allTwhite ar^a^d'"'^' ^^ ''^^^^^'^ '^ ^^-' '' An^ ; death's deep-ton'd summons had obpv'd • And m procession due attend The rite.; nf Ji. -a They scatter blossoms sweet and fair '" ^'^"'''^ ^"^"^ '• Jimblems of what their beauties are •' V^c dew-drops on the bells of flowers ' With his kind friends he now returned ,An^ sunk into a chair and mourn'd in a mute language ; when, at length. Emerp-ino- Jnf^ . ■, He, in deep tones, the Silence Sf '"'" ''""^^^ ''''''Sih, « V. ^ } '^"^ ^^'^ ''''!:"' ^^^^«c^ as he spoke.' Ye dead, are none of you inclin'd Tn fill f« ^u And make it known in courtes Wh^t vl n ^'' ^'°" Y" ^'^^ ^^^'"^» And why this secret is conceal'd ? No £ .bbinc^X ^f ''' '^'""^^ ^' ^ What 'tis to die. Around ?e shine ^ ^"'' ^''^' ^'' ''''^^'^ To make mo^ "y "Ehe gbom T^'^t'th'^ ^'""^' But 'tis no matter-Do ly knows Wha?T.' .f "^^H'H ^''' '^' '^^^' And, from life's yarious shackles free I m w L / """^ °f ^""^''^" ''^'^ ' -Wiih such soliloquisino- strahiV ' i J^f ^ l°°" ^' ^^^^"'^ as she." So form'd to quicken joy or woe, To cause such oyerflowing measures ?i '\",^?„Pa>ns and all his pleasures. 1 iiat twil require our utmost skill With oil fU ^?.'^^^^ his troubled heart be still :— Wl!a^?^^^^^^^^^^ t:^r' ^^ y-^^^^-him time to smother Thus graye reflection ami or caJe iVnu^, ^ TT '^y '"^P^^^ : The breaches wMchTlfe mind I'ceiyer '' ^'""^ '''' ^'^'^ Howeer he thus intensely grieyes. vy^aaic ci- u be which can amuse him, That our fond care must not refuse him, takes away." ^^'cl in tears ! rted friend ; on may be ; stated pace, lew his eye. 3le attitude, ted prayer ; ust to dust, d strength, eft behind, J shall be ? et reveal'd the tomb, lan woes ; 'd as she." bis pains, withdrew. 'ur career. smother ■ impart : ill repair TN SEARCH OF CONi>0LA TlOy. Without appearing to attend t« , E'en wLt by Tny whim is vJante? "'"'"^^^ °^°"^ ^^"^^nd ; Let that as 'twere by chance be granted • Th.. ^^T^> ^^^ '^' ^y »o "^cans be sSn * That we regard his altcr'd mien \CJ\^I^' Let us go on the usual way, ' Nor chinS T ^'^!f ^^^^^y^ been. In his sad mood attentions tease - No? Ip?n=^ "" '''^''' °^ ^^»e day ; But deal out our oTI^ash.wVn ^"surT" '° '^"^^ ^° ^^^^^^ Let us not ^xl^t^Z^lt^l^^ S" ^' Because he sits him dowfbe^ide s And bok'^s iftj n'f J ^-P^'^^' Lei him say j^j- or grumble no We'l do , H 11 ^'"^ ^^''^^ "« • Whether with us he rides or walks, is fZV^''' ^"f *° ^« ' I he same good humour must previl Which here is n^v P'J^^^^^X talks, -Let Sarah play h^er tricks about hm "^"^^ ^"^^^''^ to fail. Ask questions in her usual prattle, And call her tongue his favVite ra tie • Show off her last new steps and graces Let her pian1?s^n ,lS?e"^ "^^ ^^-^ ' Remember t;^he ^^^'^^:^^^ ^^^ ^-t new air, But take good care she do:s not La c hini. Vho knows, her frolic innocence Ti,.f -11 '^^'' perhaps, wake some pleasino- sen^P That will unconsciously beguile Hie ^ ?! , --If this plan f^iils, I'll then engage To be nrhU"" " ""'' ^"^" ^ '"^''^• Whr :.y belov'd Maria's caref " Willnsk^nv nV'^' °"/^^ ^tage. An; J:- my graver course supp y wth i-.^ "^'T ^°'^ to share, Maria bow'd, while to her face ^' Affi l'^' ^^^'stless sympathy." A grace, how sweet did it appear -^"^ction gave a lovely grace ; A month at least was gone and o'er T^uA "? ""'^^^ ^'th a tear. For thus, on serious thoughts intent H.h^f^"'? ""^^ "°^ ^' before ; He did all duties, it is truf w!fh ^u"^ "''^ ^^""^ bis merriment But, in his daily parish .vai'k. He seem'dTo' l^f' 'f "^^^ ^ '^ •' Was silent where he always spoke AnLnH ?o1 , ^""^ ^"''Sot to ta . ; E'en with the Tars^'^d^ufe^sS ''' "^^^ '^ i^ke. His thoughts had lost their wonted fire • His tongue assuin'd a lower tone ' -Since the^lS's«ri:lrsr.?ns«'„e°H. hi """'■ . But just to see «r.™rd^:Za!>'^rald°' '° *«' ^-'-^e been, All that the hvmg creatures wanted ; For h.s dear Doll took great delight In liantam-fowl, and num'rous flight Of chosen Doves, none such were found The nPnnl. .it:Ui'l>:f ^_«"f cloye-cots round. They^houghtthara^u^eriorken Wa'^gi^en't^lf.r'^^H^^^^''^ ^^«^' '' And that they saw with their keen eye '^"'''^ "'""^ £>trange shapes and figures in the sky,' ^ss THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX He saw as his dear Doll had donn Th.; ^ ^'^^^ '"^ ^^^'^ circles flew, And when th^ey do thdrlil™ 'cet a°k"°'"' °''"'""^'^ "» And.a.eoptro^ti?.ar-nS For, steering clear of village brawl '^''™ ""'' '"^'' ^ ^T, They'll speak the Pro andV^'of all iJZ'T "r'"=<='y« from being wet As from a sto"r":,\n hltr'°She'? Th'™ "'" "'^' ' ni°7k'^*'='' ^ '^'-'■"'^^ '''king, they fuSn-rf" !f!H " """""on shelter. Old Amen the discourse beganf ' l^S 1 <"' '"= '»?'<= of the day : Amen.— "Friend Pat i, ^?, "^ "'^ conversation ran That our good" W wJ, ^°" ""^ '"™'' ^^Prise So learn'd withal, and so do™.^ S^' > T""' That thus to grie'v. is a disg™ o' ^ To hi s" hi t '''l''^"' '"""^ " ""t, He'ilf «-' 'T™' ''™= >-t S nd'^" ""'"S »d his place.' He read of what will happen one dii wrc'\:s,:^:t;^ltt"^^^^-' And 'twould have ma3e°me"rr^lac^*^^ = For all the palS^rilLfd can°tS,'^"'= /f = True he has lost a comely dame R„f ^7 "'^ Reverend Master xvell As fair aye and as good^as she,' "' '''"">' ^ T' ^""^ ^^^^ ^^e same ^ut still I thought that our Divine Let h'.. n- i t ?^" "^ mcivilitv.) T?V^''!r 'H"^ ^°^°"^-s to the ."•ew l%f °^ Lady dress too fine That made the congregation stare, ^nd diink n/h "' ^^^ "P'^^^t pew ?"i*^°"gh It IS a mournful loss I should nnh 11 ? •' \"'*^^^ of prayer I have had my misfortune too, Bu? don' t • ^"' '^^°"^^^^ ^"S'-o^s. Last year I lost, as you well know ^"'"^ ^' ^"^"^ ^^^^s do. B^t hf dTtT? '^'^'^i'- "^^ brindled'cow, I see Paf cMv,;iii V ? °^"^ ^'^^^''^ ^one. 1 see I at smiles, but never mind — ^T^^h^^^trfL'tl^,: '-- And I full i^i^\:^^^'^^'^^' And almost I ^ou know''a:^:>e' '"" ^^''°'" "'"'^^ "ere ; A^^efirpe^:- lr £i'- "- -. As ifit lay at your back-door, iOu talk of J leaven o"er and o'er /A- SEARCH OF CQNSOLA TIQN. ' Aiid may you when Death does unlock it Find a good passport in your pocket ^ -Upon my soul, you mai of lettcis Can spell some scandal of your betters - But I have thought, as I h.4ve said ' As sure as this high tower's a steeple As sure as t^ft dd t'e"^^ TZ^ "^ -"]"-" People ; They must1oi:VtThdf|i.^:f:1 .a"^ ^ P- '^^^ ^o ; Faith, Masters T'o^ite' ^-^^^,-"'^011. This morning as he'sattS";' My'cot?^;" 'Y''^'^' ^^^^^ •' And my big heart, so sick and sad Return Vlf"°''n ^'? ^^^^'^ ^ sigh. You, Master Amen, never prov'd \vhS S tr Inl^" '^-f ''^^' '' ^^d! You talk of wives, if your old Joan Weie i .f ?. f -5 T^"" ^^^ ^o^'^'- How I should iau j.r hlryrgS'"' '^"''^' ' ^^-^> How friendly you would be with Death If he M'ould kindly stop her breath ; And yet you mock at the disaster A man and ye'^a^p^son So '""' ^-^"^^y j^Iaster, More r^pr. g could coiJ^S '"^^ ^"^^^ ^^^^ ^° view -T1-. n. 7^'^ ""^J ^^^ ^"'^"s "^ Cumberland And as she to Strang tS las glr*"' ™ *^ "°""«'' And as .0 wdTlas Vjuo" if " T '^ "?'- But the sun shin;sra"d\;u a^ay/ °°' "C'S '''f ^ ™'-V«" "oth. Such IS the chat that did preva I AnH f,,', „■ f ^"''T ^'' "-e day." But fa.' more anxyusl'ougts'op^S °"' *^ ""'""S^ '^'' = F^.r= «f '"''"? ^V°«'»y,-in his friendly bVeast rears of more solemn cast arose tI,/ if By serious effortsTn'd grave pow^ "'" "^^^ ^^^'"^ ^^ ^PP^se The clouds that did o'er Syntax lour. ^ \was as a vernal evening clos'd Each in the chair with looks compos'd The Doctor lolFd beside the 'Squfre •- The moment did the thought insoire To represent the egregious follv ne^^^ ■ The Ladies did the chess-board chuse Thf "^ k^ '''^'^ ^^ nielancholj'. And thus secure c^ — • ' ' ' ^^^ s"^'^'' ^..««j^.. .- - •> —He thus began. To what I long udvu wisna to sav •— There's sucKhTn^i^'oVfn"!*^:™^^^ '?''?' • But what^our SesTfrienT'grierto'fiiV™'' "'•'""' ""-' E^en in flip =tvii^f,,^„ ^r " . . " '"'*^ Ihus you most strangely seeirtoVrr'"'?'"""' ■"" Nay all who love yo^noV^d'^;,^ " TkTv^Zrtt:^ t^^' '«^' = "v-iui oyntax IS no more. 'ji THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Thus while you o'er your Dolly mourn, \XT 11 j^"*^ \yQ^vQ your sighs beside her Urn, We all sad Sir, as 'tis your due. Must clad ourselves in black for vow T^^M ?'i A^'^ ^°-' ^° ^0"^?^^'"' And be, my friend, yourself again! ~ ro Mortal Man it is not given Thus to arraign the will of Hea^en In fruitless grief to wear away Each hour of each succeeding day • \Z IZ'rl^ T^^^ ^ ^'^'' ^°^'^"" y°"^ downcast looks of care! But wherefore do I never see The sacred struggle to be free And conquer your calamity ? Reniember, Sir, that Heav'nlv prayer Which you pronounce with pious care, And give with such emphatic grace, "^Vlien you kneel down in holy place. O think, as the petitions run. That you repeat, ' Thy Wii l hf dnnp f> And to th' Allwise and SoVreign wilf, Sayfc.n'you l'c ^^ugn^amS" Si^NiAX.— " I see, my friend, as you review My mournful state, you feel it too ; But still, alas, you do not know The force of that tremendous blov^ Nor the sharp gangrene of the wound ' Which does my very self confound : Though Heaven, I doubt not, will at lenc^th itM ■ , .„ ^^y^ ^^ ""^y prayers that holy strength, ** Uhich will with ti^ie my grief subdue. My former cheerfulness renew And bring m.e back to peace and you. ' I do not to your ear reveal Half of the sorrow which I feel • Nor in my pale face do you sec A tithe of my lorn mise^V 'fis not for your contented mind, Whom pain ne'er told L beresien'd* Whose every path of life has been Smiling, delightful and seSne' Smooth as the lake, when in the grove No pendent leaf is se;^i to n ove' To know and may you never know Upon your heart the heavy blovv' Which would awake a tender plea, ' For sui h as mourn and grieve like me. Such loss as mine yon ne'er nave knov n, But had th' allotment been your own You would not in such terms reprove', Nor thus reproach the man you love.' — Look, Worthy, look to yonder chair, T, t. , J ^"^ ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^"" t^^^^'s sitting there ; Behold your dear Maria's smile, That does your every care beguile • Oh listen to her tuneful v;oice Whose tones are signals to refoice • Catch the fond glance of that bright eye Beaming with t?nder sS hy' Who, ere you utter the request Contrives your wish shoul^be poTses^' Who looks for joy but as you share it, ^TTi, 1- "^"^ mocks the pain should you not bear it • Who has no other hope in view But to prepare delight for vou See how the auburn ring ets grace Her sweet, her an mated face' Where the soft, winning looks dispense Affection's silent doquence' And when those lips her thoughts declare, ' ^, 1. „ ^^^^ accents claim your ravish'd ear ! 1 iiougu inaiiv hasty years have flown Since first Maria was your own- They still b.ar on them as they fly, Symbols of Truth and Constancy,- less renew. IN SEARCFf OF CONSOLA TlOif, With the fair hope that they will last When rnany future years are past : bhould you lose her you then would feel 1 he pang, which words can ne'er reveal " W?.1,T''' l^^^ thought," 'Squire Worthy saij. \Ur. tl,. Tvi^ trembling voice, and was obey'd, ' liuVsToX h-Tw^rS ^'ld?i ^T ^^!!°^"y -^ ^^-'^ ^ Mrs Worthy '« o .t, "V^'^ '",^^"^^ '^^ P"'-^"^^. A nr? ;...,• ^ ^^"P' "^y Love, th s serious strife urk-i " J"^' "°^ ^'sten to your wife ;- ^' T7 ^u ^^*^^<^ "lost cordial way of teaching- '"^ Far other njeans should employ To blunt^he arrows, which annoy With then- sharp points your wounded breast ^ And keep you from your wonted rest -Physicians vl,«" ,he sWll ^ "Vo'?' '1"^ '"''"'s™' P"""' \A7i,«« • .i: • ^ -to cure by potion and bv Dill When m their treatment of our ails ^ ^ '» 1 hey find the warmer med'cine fails, Ihmk It discreet to change their course. And try the cool prescription's force : \\r I ^^^ discourses fraught Da «nf fi, -'V- f ^/s'ning grave and serious thought ^^^i:^:^^;:^^, Noreaset&l^atientofhispain, Nor do I Fear my' reJ^^dy ^"' '''''' "^^'"^ ^ ^^"^ ^PP^^^ —You know. Dear Doctor, it is true, W.'„-> 11 ,f "^ °"'" ^^''^ ^"d humour you, Weveall assum'd a so emn P-rarP \\n^^. t. That we shall our old ways nu?si e A ?h I"'^' ''S ^T ^'^'^ ^'"°^" ^° ^''"'d, Unless you quit this^SXg fustl^^^^^^^ New thoughts, new objects, new desires, ^ '^'' "'' An^o. • ,V^"''^t your Strange disease requires • Mrs Worthy.-" Make another Tour. ^ ^ ,The':^3/iT.:4?etii;,zs.t"'''-- Kf/,?i''^i?i'riS-:?'h^'ow„.wli^c';fi'r^^^^^ ■ ' ThoV ^k'"^"*"''"'!." "^'"^' So universal is vour famV That Dunces, though to dulness doom'd. ^ ' Have with a Dunce's art presum'd To pass ,he,r silly .ales and .o„rs, " AnJo^hor idle tn.sh. for Your. Iti 142 TJ/E TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX i IS true, you now no longer want Wh.f ;« Nay, now vour n^vSSi *' '" y°" Tonner Tour Your venerable name t^o "hiew'^n J?^"";" ^'^^^^' Another circuit yrshall roam AnH h'- '" '^'" ^''''^J^Sarts from Nay who can tcll,_to svvcetcn'l^e \'^''"^' ^'°^;!"°^^ contentment In your long jouriey yoTr^av see ' Somo^ bnng home another wno would her weary freedom o-iv^ r And If 1 do not greatly err ^ ' 7^" matrimonial bonds to live • Surh f 1. • ^" >'?"' '"y ^^^'e^d' but say to her' "'^ ""'"' ''^'' character," To hold myself a Sure dumi ° '' '" P"'''""" "<= l^""""; If Uie fair lady does not yield Ani'," ™"'''" "''"''s to undergo) As if young Jupm' from hifquivT ^"" "«" "^ '"<= "^W i For some I "-e saW ™ vol;"' ""'' ^'"^ " ''" '"^'^^ ■- Is 1f?hf M ■■ "f ''. ^ s'acious boti': ' """ ■ As If He tliouglit Ins grief bcguil'd • For .be firs^S^>frlS/X^ «^" 'sii7''1 ' -She seu'd the moment, to pursue Thl ,^1 • .^^''?'?^ ^ ^^^^^ of grief. When, beck'ningre"^^^ :i^,^]- - -h ^^^^ had in fiew Now let your music be dienlay'd ' ^,f:,V^^^'<^»-ough,a-,KiA;;'w^^^^ What can be done by harmony • ^ Play the Dead March in Saul^ ,y dear Perhan. l,,v "^f^ ^^^ ^^^^o^-'s spirits cheer^ ' ^'ernaps his mstrumcnt may ioin a, i' • 1 1 Syntax now felt the well-aimed strole''' symphony divine. And saw he must partake the joke ' --Tl,« f,AA^ ' Madam, you shall be obev'd » And by the grateful bev'rage chee^d While his dlep «ie?C'li"™^'? l ^°°" -^m WoKXHvJas^rJ^'r^tl'^XSli S^ "'^^'jad «,„„d his appetite. Hi"? end's ''T'«^ '" ^ -^''-'-'d smill,"' "'""" '""'"«^' And .hat his l^if; Vresls^lts r""""" '''"^^ ^""^ ' A pleasure to th' afflicted heart °° -^on'riv'd it, to impart Uut. ere tfi^xr c/t,^t,* ii-_ 1. c\^' J ■■■'•" o'^'-x. s.i;c liour oi rest IN SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION, m While that sweet Angel's words contrive nu T u ,P ^!^.y«"r former peace revive • how I shall re oce to SCO -uT ^^ So that her conquest you remain ^ ti ^T" ' T\\ P^""* ^^^^'"y '' And that you primise to ob^ ^^ " - ^^''" '"^''" '■^'"' 1 will acknowledgT t mv nncle Thlli '"'f ^^i^,*^^-'' i^^I^'^ent sway, While I, subservifn tHe^Tkm Wi^^'^.f '""'^ ^^^?''' °"^y g"i^l« SO Shall ^l^^^;^^ —If then by my experience taught, ^ "^* 1 hese truths within your mind are vvroucrhf If you your present state orenaro *"" 'ire vvroigiit, And when we meet again to-morrow, ' rhe scheme propos'd will be arrang'd • An^7'^''''i: your fancies shall be chang'd ; Ti,o „o • ^ thoughts may press upon yom- heart • The various scenes of social life,^ The world, and all its busy strife rh' enhv'nmg sunshine that attends ^ ^'"^*' The joyous looks of ancient friends : .rhe promis'd hope that added fame vv 111 give new honour to your name, - While you consign to Folly's doom ^ach dunjc who did that name assume. T embrace his friends at Sommerden. w^.K 1 I?"'" ^'''?^' ^y^tax find him. With all his troubles left behind him hnt whom, perhaps, our Rev'rend Sage May bring to grace his Vicarage, If aught he brings, why we mult leave * or time and fortune to achieve Sleep on the thought, and when* you wake May your chang'd heart no longer ache, ' While firm resolves, by truth enjoinU Oive the lost vigour to your mind." He bow d assent, as Worthy spoke. Then sought his bed, but never woke liU, the next morn, the constant bell An J u ,^^a the known hour of breakfast tell • And when the plenteous meal was done The Doctor .n,n,'.„ ..... u._._ . -■ oo many reasons have been dven" ' ^ '""' ""^""' As true as if inspired by Heaven,^ ' 144 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX, V. ! |l x^rt/^n ^•^^ ^°^' ^^e ^^^en, the where, Will call for your immediate care. All things are cliang'd as well you know, tor tis to you that change I owe, Since my last, doubtful long career, r^r ««,. T i^ ^^^''^vn'^^ goodness, brought me here, VU.IT^ -^ "'y J'"''^ '^'^^^ ^'"'^'' Nor cloth a fear assail mv mind • M^^x::;^^ \ ^^ ^--^^ j^»--- anZy^;:;fe; Where on my evVy .^s\ .VtenS The best o/ i .gs .Z"f Fr^Ti:' I he course the means, I must pursue, I leave submTssively t" you tquip me, as to mode and measure, ^ ^ . According to your friendly pleasure. If cr^i, o« *il^ . r ' Another Grizzle pray provide • If such another can be found Within the ample co^int^ry^round. '' Two years alas ! were gone and past, c;;n.« fi, . ' ? ^fl^^^"^ ^*''=^^^ breathd her last, ^io K i Invaluable creature Had paid the common debt of nature Sh^ who h''^ r'"i^? ^""^" ^''-^S^' ^^^^P^d to reach a good old age • She who had heard the battle's din. Now sleeps in an uncurried skfn • For currier none h.n! been allow'd, ' >'t- * • /o]"l^ch the skin that's now her shroud. Tis true, "ndeed it had been scor'd, By the rude force of slashing sword • B t then the slashing uas ,n front, ' Where Honour writes its name upon't ; Ti V . ,V^°"gh to the flowingtail and ears, Ivulu ^K "T" -"^^'^^ *^^^ sh^^^s» I" guise of wicked villagers VVhether on barn-door they remain, The sport of sunshine and of fn in' Or whether time has bid them rot, The Mu'se knoMs no orTas fmg^^^ A rising mound points out her grave ^ The cropping sheep its verdure shave : Wlfil7Fhf ' n '^ [°°^ 'l'^^"' ^''^y^ '" mournful evergreen • While the ^^ ow's b h^^ Their dioping foliage at theS ,' And Gruzle s name, ten times a day, ' Is sigh'd by all who pass that way, u cJ^nS^^^l^"* ^^^^'" 'Squire Worthy said, ^hall lead the journeying cavalcade. FHiLLis, the ambling palfrey's name, r- *!- ^^f^^"^"ce may equal Grizzle's fame: For though she ne er engag'd in war. Nor felt the honour of a scar Yet she has oft Maria borne, ' A 1..^ ^if "* ^''" ^^^ 5^^^' through brake and thorn, A lor.d more honourable far, Than a fat, blust'r ng Trumneter And much more fit in graceful ease To bear the Minisfer of peace L^'UT T '° r"' ''^^'°" ^"^' A^ >•«" y«"r purpos'd Tou pursue In better figure o appear. Than when you first were welcom'd ere •' Besides you shal not go alone, A viet must your journey own' And it is madam's well judg'd plan. J ' ^X ^lown, r. . . 1 1 ^•""'; ^'^' ^"^" '^^ your iivried man. Patrick has m the army been, And that has taught him to be clean ; AV SB,ISC1, OF CONSOLA Tto,V HC'La'^Cl'';^ ^^-?''<"'«' la^ "• """^ "'-^^ ^oi„, goo,,, This anxbus laS VsiV ami' I '■'■''''"l.f'"''''"'"-- IwJ''"''^ I'fick fo^ yo.,r guard • No^^f *,?'■' «^°. "'"' -'""■'"•' eye That h /l"" ^ '•'"•='=' "■'^■•■f ""d tea" ' ""'"' °" ''is baclt; -The Doc.1 'ge^^K^"" !<>"' ^ ""'cc, will S-.'' But could no. S^J^°; -^L-S^''^,,^^^^^ hand i„ co„„„i„„„, ^'^icKd-SL:^ --...h^S£l?^^"'i-r ^«/chuekled, aSd^Wthot.'dd';'""'^ %' 'f '??' Presence did re<,„irc 'i>'; ^«^^came and ''ow'd strpk'dlMck irhair'^d'stno^i'' ""? => ^'"tk.r:- >'s look display'd. As hp r. '• "'"' 'nil'tary air Doctor iirsfth'e silence toIcZ™' ™ '™^^ P^^de/ While he attention- ..^TheDoctorfeTth^'^ilcttor- As well ,..„ surc^rsrt"foSt• '(^^,'°°^^ •™*=' Rut as you well niay gue" th?rc'2 '^i^'^ ^"^^ '=''»"ce, have met- I am about to travel far, a " i "?' ,J"^' """ => Jok no-"™' „ „' Of some bold, active, stkdy spirit. Who d'o'Ti"" "'' ^'«™di„Tc°re At one both duteo^us, kind V, d frnx-m"'" ''""'"'" '"1>«^'! " U.ese J-t ^slf'f, irnd^"'' f-J.^li^nt : What sa? you^.'' Pa,''!il*;°",';7 '='"''« •• Vour„ono^^e^Si^¥?""^ -d do whateV yo„ s^ll' ^^- -^^^7^^^^^^ 10 t46 THE TOUR on DOCTOR SVXTAX ill \i On horse or foot, 'tis all ll e same, T c.^ ^A r- ^^^^^ "^ V ^'^y ^^^' ^'""^'^ to blame. I serv d a Captain seven long years, And when he fell, I kiiow my tears Mix'd with the blood that Uow'd around. ^ ^^ When he receiv'd hi3 fatal wound. Your honours, you may take my word. He was as brave as his drawn sword, VVhich, to my army 'twas well known, A J ^'. °^^*^" ^I^^'t ^ Frenchman's crown • And was a kmd and gcn'rous master. Until he met with this disaster I wou d have died Ilcav'n knows to save him : That fatal morn he bid me shave him • I ve got the razor all forlorn With which his dying beard was shorn And when, well set, why it shall thin ^ "' a\. 1,.' 1 1 ^y^f^^'^r.yo" pl^*'\sc, your honour's chin. Oh hed be glad, with justice due, To sav -.11 T iin,-« . • i • . ^ts-jj^rvt fc. v^'"™' When .,t,2tVdttrrl'"r™ You n,ay believe what I have said Nor wR 'his' 1, ? e'eTb^'ta.V When the last Trumpet bids array ' The Quick and Dead, at Judgment-dav I am no scholar, but I know That good works joy, and evil woe As Sunday last, the Doctor's text ' Told us, in this world and the next." —A transient sense of mirth was cau-d By the last words, when Patrick paus d. But," said the 'Squire, '' upon my life. We must enquire of Patrick's wife Whether it will not sorely grieve her CI, M i'^^"" ^^''^*;' ^"^'^^^^"^ ^"''^te, should leave her '» -She pass d her hand o'er either eye. And thus she ventur'd to reply ■ Pa s talk may make you Gentry laugh ^^ * But 'tis too grave for me by half. Pray what provision shall I have. When he is frnnp nnri ..„ . And if please Heaven thathe sho'uld di^mi^^Tm;^^^^ When I have nought to cut and carve ^ ^ ^ Why I and all my babes must starve 1" ^^ -Hold your tongue, Kate," the pavior said, ,/ . ^ I Y® sot a far, far better trade : I aving farewell ! 'tis now my plan To serve a rev'rend Gentleman I love you, wife, with all my heart, 'gentleman. Init now and then 'tis good to part. And then tis joy almost to pain. When M'e'arc call'd to meet again. And shou d I pass through Heav'n's gate, ^ Nay should his Rev'rcnce yield to Fate, Stiuire Worthy will take care of Kate. And for my smiling babes, God bless 'em. Madam will give them clothes to dress 'em 5 And fa'<^li bhell keep 'em fat as they are now, "'V o-'^, T'J ana vow. Thei-i cs /A^ S£^M/ OP CONSOLA TW^, And n-ho doth know by Hciv'n'<= 'Sonic honest mnn .«."f...*^*^^"s jomc comfort -^^;^4^tiK:^'^r^.^cc HI S ^^''^^J ^"«i you may thrive A Kate, worthv SiVc f..i.„/. ' . ^^ N or e'er •rs takes nought amiss says A-i; when I say f s vycll as when I was rilivc. 'twixt T* 1. . *- '-' s«ys 1 Itwasahttlcmattci,that wh- j "iwill be my s.'ud/.o S °"L,u ^ ' ^"''J"' to your kind con.r . i^hey are old fricnrk P. ^ i '"'^''^^ J V^Slt-;?;-? »r^'' beln'i^Te;^ '""'^ -PP- cheat, I've often ..^V^Xx^ Se ''''" ^^' ''-,'"-"-. ^'^5»an.o«„.„vi;;;S;ey^ThemS''n'"° ^'" '"^ '>-!". But he prov^fail tl^V™*^^;' S"'^F or'^a^",""^ J"""' "'= Village iofce- ^ow, ere abusv wppL- ,.,.. ^_^_ ^^^cnder ^rief and f'.,M,r.;"_ "^"^'^^ 10 — a i 148 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX — Pat, who had left Amen to lead The Doctors gay and sprightly steed, Had, after Kate had been caress'd, Receiv'd his children to be bless'd ; Some laugh'd at Pat, and sonic admir'd, But all shook hands till he was tir'd : Some grinn'd and some few wip'd an eye, As if they were dispos'd to cry ; — But he exclaim'd their grief was vain, For he should soon come back again ; And as for sorrow, 'twas a folly ; The Devil alone was melancholy ; For the curs'd scoundrel, sour with sin, Could ne'er with joy presume to grin. Then told the laughers not to cry And went off whistling lullaby. Syntax, now with a solemn grace. Gave his best friends a warm embrace ; When many a kind adieu rcturn'd, The wish with which their bosoms burn'd, —That ev'rygood which Heaven could send him, That no misfortune should attend him. Each rustic bosom did prepare And utter'd, as a cordial prayer. —Thus the good man, at early day, Proceeded on his destin'd way. CANTO II. The morning smil'd, the beaming ray Of Phoebus made all nature gay. Blue was the Lake's expansive flood. And many a gentle zephyr woo'd The wave that rippled o'er the deep, Nor would allow the wave to sleep. The mountains rising rude and bold Shew'd their rude summits tipt with gold, While branching oaks, the forest's pride, Hung down and cioalh'd their shaggy side : The cattle wander o'er their mead, The flocks all by the wood-side feed The brook flows murmuring along, The grove is vocal by the sontr With which kind nature doth inspire. In summer morn, the feather'd choir. At intervals is heard the roar Of water-fall, which tumbling o'er The craggy brow, delights the eye And ear, with rude variety Nor these alone : what labour shows. And does by rural toil disclose fo aid the picture nature gives. By which in some new form she lives' While art, by active life refin'd. Improves that picture in the mind •-- And thus, with blended objects fraught, * Unites the sense to solid 'bought. The husbandman's attentive toil Turns with his plough th' expecting soil,— And now with no unsparing nand The grain he scatters o'er the land • 1 he yellow Jiarvest next appears. With lofty stem and loaded cars.-! I he bam capacious then receives ' Th' abundant loads which labour gives ; .0 be bless'd ; 149 " ^ /^ S£AJ!Cl/ OF CONSOLA TION' Sl'^'r ^ •'- e-.,J'gS, "'-- of 'h. dopant lake .. Or should ^Ct^^x^'^r^^i^Z sai. : 1 he smote that rises "erThe '.rees^'^'d IT"," V^ ^^^h^7Z '' The village spire, bu^Sim'y se^' iT'V"" """^ ■- And homely ptS;!?/:" fM™" "4?/' -> The,e,andho,vma„y,„orec^bi„e Tot?d'fv'°"' "=""' °f industry -_ By which e'™Fnl!''f'?, ^^"^y S'vos. Such were Iho ,hl If""'." '^ "ves. Yet stil he felt ih->t,i I ^ "° "'"^ Rood l"^t ''-"gh htS'rt'^oX' ■;^e"^'''^ '- ™- -UW be obtain- , Whose perfecHSn^1/,7,=;'h--'' gives and ^k^'Zf T» charm his ^vl ,„ ™."" .■•?«. Which SDlrnfl'5 ^^."Ip^,"^.'^^ grew. 150 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And picture after picture true To all be saw, his fancy drew. Thus, as the Sage pursued nis way, He bade his mind the scenes survey. And as the Muse may now conjecture, Read to himself a kind oflecture On nature s charms, and how by art. He could the picturesque impart. As he had often done before. When journeying on his former Tour. Which this same Muse, a tell-tale drab, On a past page has dar'd to blab ; — And as he felt 'twould ease his pain. He now would try to do again And heighten nature's varying feature * By adding many a living creature ; Thus calling to immediate use What time destroys and men produce. —These thoughts, imprcss'd upon his mind, To serious musings much inclin'd. Directed all his views of nature In praise of their sublime Creator • And, from his contemplative mood, Which all his love of talk withstood' He suddenly the silence broke. And thus with solemn air he spoke ' — I-ather of good. Almighty power ! Who at Creation's wond'rous hour* Didst call from Chaos into birth * This goodly scene of things, the Earth ;— Man s state of trial, his sure way, And j .assage to eternal day : But 'tis not now I shall assign The goodnr.ss of thy power divine In forming the benignant plan To suit the character of man,- Nor shall I bid my thoughts explore The depth of metaphysic lore To prove, in erring reason's spite, That whatsoever is. is right • I eave that to reflection's pow'r. In pieiy's more sacred hour' When 'tis my duty to impart Truth's doctrine to the doubtina heart Here, I must own, whate'er I see, ** The scenes atound me preach to me: /T^i. ^^zh. brook and rock, as Shakspeare says, (The Bard sublime of former days,) Excites the tongue to grateful praiso Can I view nature's grand display. Now brightening in the sunny ray' That my enauiring eye regales With interchange of hills and dales ' The silver lalce and rushing flood. The verdant lawn and pendent wood Which, softly touch'd or boldly wrought. Delight or elevate the thought' Without receiving through the eye The moral sensibility ? Or without list'nmg, through the sense, ^ To nature's speechless eloquence ? These call me as my view's pursued, To praise the Author of all good ' r or good the wondering mind may trace In the vast fields of endless space ; - en good reflection's eye may see In every leaf, on ev'ry tree In ev'ry blade of grass that's seen ' ^ ^' To clothe the earth with vesture green; In oaks that form the civic wreath. Or the wild rose that blooms beneath, In the s p rock's stupendous brow, Or the grey moss that clings below. These are thy works. Parent of good I Thus fcit, thus seen, thus understood, They wake the enliv'nin- gratitude, LIS directed, is combined With the first virtues of the mind ! That. IN SEARCH OF CONSOLATlCil. 151 How much I thank a parent's care Which, while he did his child prepare Wifh pregnant seeds of classic lore Thn? f"/?""^"^^ ^"^ Of knowledge Yet suftVdln o"gu i'nwL'n'^ t^f;?°V"^ '* Thus I possess the^skln "oVac" And'cXf "• "^'^ F^^I^*- '^^"^"^''^'^d- The secret beauty, that no eve t? . , *°, ^'''''' '^^^ ^^'^^en grace. That bids th' enquiring mind explore tS^ ""''' ^"" ^'^^ ^^^^^y ' Delightful an".'^^^f ^^ sctrh^ricn'ot^Lfort' "^" ""' ''''' ^'-^ Though I couldtst 4'on^by?eachinT '^""'^ '"^"^ "'^ ' When to di!^^'^ '^^T ^°' ^^'^^^^'^ '^^^P by preacS Yes tL^u drarn!4u-e's scene^sTou^t^r"^' '^"''^^ ''^'^ And my heart grew like nature gay. ^' ?,f}f'f^ ^''J ^hat through the^eye Didst oft my drooping mind supply With images, whose beauty's power Thou h;,H'cP, ^P^*"^'^'^ *° ^^^^ P'-issing hour ' And where Z^ukTl'' P™/"^ P^"="' I'" ' ^ : ui "'""'J''^. ""O" delightful ait ! s -He pus'd, and ere he spoke again ncK exclaim'd" Amen, Amen!" ' ratrici The Doctor q7ickVur„'d a" ,nr"' sT^^ , :: And ^ease jt^^^lnce^i-^^a't ^I^n^^'r^"''' -""O. O the hne prayer that you have pray"l . ' For sure, on horseback, ne'er was Wrd ' And n,any woS d'SrhXt'."'?^™" ^'''P^ S» faith, .^nd please j™Xr.hoI°h?'' 'u\^"' "i'"»'«'«" °" f-ot : For though we are not in a diurdh I J V"^ "f '^"'^'' "^ " »"ght Thus when yofr.^^'rayv'-was'dZ Vlh™ ••'^^ " '" ''' '"-'-' The Doctor^'^^„?diri°si'^a'^"a1fd"e "'^oIT •'" ! Ne'er mind, mv S. J^Jl^i'^J"]"^ ■''"d thus replied . Requires nn?'"-'" ""J"^" '"''' •''nd goodintenr ""''""' J^cqunes not, m calm reason's eve ,-. But still you need not silence break '' "" •"■ ^P^'W Unless the occasion bids you speak,' ^52 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Unless my words as thev trinqn.-.-/. a ir , Sometimes my bosom's senate si s Tn '^.""^^["l ^'p^^'^r may require . A single word its force to "rv s'lent thought, nor then admits Nor shall I e'e^ h? IX'mSvn' t"" "^V^"' = So that ,4'™ rtS vin^l'pTea' r ""'""" "•■'^" ^"'"«'' And yield ih' i„,paiicnt bosom ease " At others, you so slowl/walk ' ^''^^ fl'^ynicn actmg on the stage \ Again the Doctor wav'd his Innri a in ^^"^^ °"^y see you talk." "I've one word more," he Doctorl'ucf "^"^ a' Tf ^'^^'^^ "' command. Whatever you may see me do IC.!:" i • ^""^ ^ ''^P^^' *« ^e obeyed. If I ride on nor sileiKe breik ' ^ f, ^°"^»^^?d in constant view ; Let not, I beg your flippant tongue dS C ^T^^" ^P^^^'' Pat bow'd, and by his reason-^ fnr^« u r t V ^". , '"^ ^^ ^ Jog along." But thought it vJs a c Sioke "[•^'^he might disturb discourse, Though hard the S whic'h^.t^lS^nT' " "^^" ^^°'^-- 1 atrick was patient and resign'd. ' Blest Contemplation, o^t thy power 'Tisinthat\.^Sc^:::j;^--^^^^ For thus, wirH hi.dicr t n,Uh^ ' f^'f ^^''^ impression virtue gives Vice and its p JsCs ne'e" t ^T'' Th'^', ''' '''''?''''' ^"^ ^'^ ^^'^ '^i Tni^leT^l" "^^ cah^n'rh^Sd'"'^ ^^ '--' "-''^' Vice it is truP oW ^^^ J^o'st'rous cares behind. 1 hat threatens some unwary life • There treason may its schemes employ T^.t r.n* ? '• ^'' ^° P'"^Sc, and destroy ^^ But Contemplation, Heavenly Maid i -n ,.• Does with her power beni^ Un^ron F. i ^' "^""'"^ ^^'^"^ *« ^^s aid, Bids every mental temSce'se AnH .f'^"^"^^^^^"^^ the ^o"! ^ At this same n^omenrHonest 'Paf A. ff'/^''' V'" ^°^°"^ "^^^ P^^^^- But when he saw the wavhilT^nrl R^ V° P^'^f>'' ^^^^^'^^ ^'^ hat,- Indeed he had a tale to tVn 1.^?.""?^'^°°'^ '^" kind command. Of murder, robbery and blood ^ A "' i ^ -"i 'T^"^ ^^"S'd to rebel) Which^houghKncw nolVr S;^ I, ^°'-"-' ^"^ '" ^ -^ For hP hnH Iff • ^''^^ P°PP ^^ «" h's "memory : ^ ' In!:,^f.^f.? rl"l!^/,^J^.«"^- g'ory Told his^tran^e ton-n^.c.^i.; „. . . ... .„,.-,, J p.iiacuc. strain Hf wkliVl f^"t,ri"i .'••'""^s ="-iy j B.t the hand told him 'twas in vain! '' ^"'' ^^^'" ' With V require . en admits anquiliity. r employ, en alono, ly drum, e stage : ou talk." mmand. ; obe/d. nt view ; e speak, along." scourse, r spoke. e gives, guard, I made, litude ; ts aid, e soul, peace, hat,— mand. rebel) wood. I W SEARCH OF CONSOLA TWIT. '53 The signal therefore he obev'H Tn k«-,« t, . , . Wi,o thus a?h7Al on^aUei :re" ■""" "^ """'" ""^ > Conveyed to Pat his further pleasure. Must'see ?vVh V*"™.''™ '°"g been known, Gain-din the so iaryVo„^'"'Vha?^s''n?'":,• , • And broKpraelice'aSe .oil'^""'"^= ''''^' "--"• TKo 1 ?" consumes the midnight oil • They know, nor do I fear to own ""'^"i ^\\ • And to myself declaim as oud ' Ac T °^''" ^'"'^ ^'^^^ ^'"^ '-^'one, Patrick, 1 have said this befom m' \'T"' ^P^''^'^'"^ to a crowd I tell you it would el e me min W. Vf ^ '""^ '""l '' ^'^'^ ^"^ o'er ^ Now ?n V^^^^Z^^ \ 'ir^ t^ese hints again." n«fo T,- ^^rf'^ ^'^ beauteous way pursued • ' ' iJetaching with h s skilful a,.« r- ^"^-^v . ' such ef.f'ef ;!J;1?,3 .niSHi' i^r"' "^"^" °'=""^'>-' Ti,„ ,- landscape grand, or rude or g-aV • Ind r„;''rSo^rfl'!lf,r*if'TH' !r"^^^^^^ '-^ •-•'^«a,deep S..ch as his less a,Sfs\T%I^f ''}■"'?'' 'l'"'='"'=^^ And graphic notices sec™,; ' ' ^° ''^o "i^thot"'"''' '^°"'''- '''"P''" The native beauties that preside And f„r„? ,i l ^''™r •'' ""linture. As they all open'd on the sichf p/rnT r„?^f' "' »f Ambleside, -"Then Stocklifi^irce, wftTdtaf t roaT """ ''^"''""• D,d from a height stupendous pour ° ' Its rushing streams from unseen source Dish'd rn f'"!'"™,"^ ; 'hey their foa.ning cou se. W4' 'mTny a"cr™ gVSZnr ^^r^ ^'^! ■"> "'^ "P™ "> «'- view And, rushing on h??oIdT "er Givl n'/, "^ ■ "''P '^'"'■■•'>' '•'^^<^'> « >' «,' At once ddightcd and amiAl Sv^. P "'"-"■ "'=";■" «° Windermere Though in his visits haVbefo 4'ti*U «n T'', "'="■« *,P'-"'=<= •■">d gaz'd N.->y, here his pencil had essartl a' ,™l '" '^J" ''"'' wander'd o'er Eolll sketches ?Sthis ve^ry'ce,;' •''"=""'" ^'^^^"^ '^l-^ Yo, former k™:Uj:'\^'it.t?''lTe tl^ t?!"^™ ' Thus while t?,°,'" "^^ P-'> t '" skSt rdr°"''' '""^^^ "-• ro^'i^t tht! aVu^;:;;;? °^ '" '^"" "- ™" fene around enjoy'd, A person stole with gentle pace' a„^ i "'■'^'' "^^ "i'™sity, A. lengtlfhe gre'^^a little bolder'' ''''" '-"l""-^ '" '''^ <■=>« ' With a kect'^l-S^^r^Ll^J "" ''''"°':;^ ^"-""-' Says P.T '?u„lesJ.;ou court dis^'s^r''"' ''""'^ '"O-"^- Youcl better not disturb my master, Th!„,.'°Mi''°'T>°'.', '"='>■ not dream Svnt:,v „.,„ ,l!l,>,°" " so l>ea,i>ong down the stream." Th„.:-:.:;:r, —<..' .-round lo see vVi,at caus'd Ihcn quickly wav'd hi Pat 1-1 e saw half-sc What seem'd a s awful hand, And as he dealt forth the If-screen'd beside a bush s ir con ility, ind ; the brush, '^'^ """"^ 'i'OUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But soon hete>':iur<;„'^^es?S" r= ""^"='"^'« "^ ^'•' = 1 hat he could talk as well as paint. You may view all if vou • re ?vlin„i ■??' i™,''^.'' P'-''^ ™™ witli'me. And^ 5 .'i°s\:er','';s.dl^!,Jit'r'°" "^'^ * "'"''"«' Jhould you not think it worth a pound.' ^^y. If your means the price supply, buch as you chuse, why you may buV " Syntax, itscem^ had h^rd befci/ Of thi JsS Artist (with ias ^ t^ r. Of Sketches, Drawings and Designs ^ ^'^^^ \A/i,« ^ Displa/d on V ills and hung on lines ) Who does to rival .!dll demur, ^ /nd i. m w. r So he indulg'd him in his "lorv a / .u? ''" *^' '* ^ nterprn, r. -As he the^xhiSJti^^^?^' Tl^l;^'^ 2" °^ '•^' ^"•^• ARTIST.-" I nek not ti:<^^;^^^^'r'"' p"^"^'- Demands a power 1 1 ev'ry nart, Which should pervade its foria'ar ' fea' ure • And fhat, as you mui<; know, i:, N vtu'^f * -Because I .=ck her wh^e^^:,'^:?!. S?etL"/„e toVer ^I^l^a'i'^ ^S^? Be :ai;s..., -."iien s.ic's sublimely good. and/a^ry t - I t"® '""''•" •'■'^ '" ">e 'Mild and >-«a> I ask you where it I,er abode Which bv mvV.. .» i,,, . u The ...ights, .hedepths/Miig'fbod^' """'"" '''"'' 1 Jie rugged rocks or spreading woods " ' Wnere, tell me, is th' Arcadian scene, V\ ith sun-shme gay, as em'rald green, Tn .11 .1 • ,^^^^^*^ "^y researches have not been .? in ail this f:)eauteous country round. No nof a Qr,-f ;. f u r At orient morn or evening gr'ey. Where I Veir^g'^mV t ^usX'^ Where, by a nice experience taught ^ scuaious way . Each varymg, transient tint is caught. Here clouds upon the mountain rest And sink in mists upon its breast : ' Here the light falls with silver beam, Or the sun glows with golden gleam. 1 here the flood pours its foamy wave All- P.r various fonns in shadow lave : ' And ghmm ring in the crystal plain. In fainter outline live a^ain I here, where is seen within the glade. ^^'"' wi,. *i, ,i^*^¥s or greater depth of shade: rd^-^hts'o'e-e^L^^^^^^^^^^ My Art can dip the pencil in it. And 'i^ X^h^^'Hi^^ iNatuie, -Hence my superio? works, and hence"'l'„ Art?" ■'%1e 'mrnce.- 'N SEARCH OF rONSOLATIOy. ■-There are your Artists, who in town '^* Whose rank^lC Se^St'^ '^"^^r '^"-™ Nordoes their "t,n"\%"cT"fa';r"E^^^^^ ihey do not Nature's works pursue A '"^.'"'P<"-..Stainer's part. They .nay from so'lne steep warel se' d^f "="' '"''^""''^ Or study thft Xrnt ^.i':f Lor,/o„.Brid« ? '^^ Where 'f^{N:^lk..'X^^:^^ 8--^ -adows lave, tM T b'-'Sht.scene oflslTng.on : From crolrnT' ■^'' P™"^" breathe, Or leaning 'gainst" t^edoLkll^L'e'J^'T'f "'^■"-''•• And study fo^i;4erm™'r^''S-'^=""' g'^^" ^^'^S rtl^XTf i Turnpilce Cafe. '"""' Which thl^'^ "'°' ""= channing scene And trace the ever var^vS'""" 'I I'"' =" g''='--n : Thus with thdrnencflsTn^t ,T°' i^''"^ the straif-bank'd Sernentin,. And fancy hills Kymo«'of' "^'7^^ Where, tl,ough it loyal bo"oms shod- rt 'f' 7"=4 °' '<<^nsingto7; Some will the Picturesoue bplL^k V ■''y, """ "'= ^'al-'icc to a Kock Dut left by Genius in Se lurch C.n ".nl "'' "f '" "^ Chelsea-Reach ; The,, as it were,S'cro,^^"h?IS:" '" ^''^'--^-"-h :' How proudly thev« T*'"' 1? ';''"™ ">= »°"1. To viilv .ht"^^lTeLi°n''rou'nr ^^'aTS f 'l '''^""'^ !?<""™ «=" W, -ThesegloriousArtistsof theTown vVm 1" i"'""'"" ""'" "'"y bound The boast of Nature here to see ' I'J"^ ?T"'^' "> '=°™'= down ^ es, I have often seen them smile Thtifl^-^"""'" ^'' ^'°<« ™e ma"t'hr/"^'"™ '°- eye'to' ee"'""^ ^"^'^ '" "^^g""- They are my works w^riT' '■""' "'"^ "> '™- &nd, .hough^rpS'dVo' Sn^alid^'^kl, Mv Co, "" ''!.!! ="^ "^ "P- "ay : . , , SVNTAX.-" Upon mi'w„,.y '"'"'f' ^"•' '"" ""er fly." Tf^^;qh-^ira^\l^;lSorthegr--^^^^^^^^^ SvNTAx.— " >'ric ,.^* r . ■ " ■' ^"''" 1^" an Un'o-f/ial * controvert What But you so boldly do assert r\\\ ""^ ""y ^y^ these drawings strike Tliey, my good friend, arc all alike! ' 156 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVXTAJC You cannot wish the truth to smother, That they are Copies of each other. If so, why, surely, he who calls These copied works Originals, Gives such a meaning to the word, I, as a scholar, never heard." Artist.—" I tell you, if the copies prove, (Nor does my understanding rove,) ^ True both in tint and touch and line. To the original design And copied by the self-same han^ * That does my pencil's power command ; Those Drawings must, to Critic eye, Share in th' Originality: And be the number what they may, If they unerring Truth display I say, in spite of envy's brawls. That they are all Originals.'' Syntax.—" At least, I think it must be known, That, Mr. Artist, you are one." By these keen fancies render'd gay. Syntax proceeded on his way. At length, a beauteous place of rest, Lowood, receives the trav'ling guest. And here he found a two-fold treat ;— Hungry, he relish'd what he eat • Wliile Nature did his bosom cheer, As he glanc'd over Windermere! The humbler views that deck the Lake, The hills, the groves, the farms that break In blenched beauty on the sight. He saw, but the bold mountain's height, Which gave the wond'rous scenes sublime. He -^ought not, for he had not time. And if he had, my simple rhyme Would scarce have such a height assail'd, Where far superior bards have fail'd. Now Patrick, having fed his cattle, Brush'd up his breakfast with a battle : Not such as boxing heroes try To gain the well paid victory • Or where resentment's rage fulfilling, * One blood gives t'other blood a milling : But such as can be said or sung. By that same weapon call'd a tongue Which he display'd in warlike story, ' That told of brave Old England's glory. Thus he address'd the kitchen folk ; Thus, with extended arm, he spoke. Patrick.—" Since I left Ireland's blessed shore, Since I through seas have travell'd o'er, O what strange things my eyes have seen ! In what far countries I have been ! How I've been toss'd and tumbled o'er, From land to sea, from sea to shore ! In how much blood my feet have wallow'd. And what salt-water I have swallow'd ! What mighty battles have been fought. Where Patrick did not pass for nought ! How many drums have I heard rattle To call the eager troops to battle ! How many trumpets I've heard sound, To call the prancing steeds around ; I^ SEARCH OF CONSOLA TlOif «S7 To bring the horsemen all together, All • u • 1 '^.'l^^cn helms with horse-hair feather • lo see a Hussar how he crops ^ ' The Frenchmen's heads like turnip-tops ! How many swords have I seen bright. And ghmm'ring in the morning's ligiu. That, ere the noon-tide hour was o'er. Were steep'd in blood and dripp'd with gore *- You may not, my good friends, conceive it. ' Ur when I ve spoke may not believe it. But this right hand has cut off heads Ti,- • 1 1- /" •'^^ ^'^^^^ ^^se as it now spreads This yielding butter on tho fm<;f r\ y. ^ In all the horrid vvear an te?? Of tl,.. ''''^ '^ host of lives are lost, \\j\ , ^^^^ ^^ ^"^t same sport wh ch vou rail ti/^r When monarchs frown and nations jar ' ^ ""*'' Arrah, my Dears, it does confound me, " That lift their heads so high in air, VVhich through the glass my eye-sight sees • O they're so like the Pyrenees ! ^"' '^''' ' They only want the Frenchmen flyine Men shouting here, and there all clyinc^ • Some dead and welt'ring in their blood." And others floating down the flood. n they were here I should maintain, Tf fi,. , ' ^^^. ^''^^^ fighting now in Spain : If they were here with half an e>\ They'd tdl you so a- veil as I ^ And were it, as my tongue has told me ^ ^° "^ '^" ^^ ^ ' Nor I at aluTa'lUfrlll"^'"^ """' ''''''''' T. ' ' r • And I now here, I, honest Pat?^' ^' '" ^^^"^"^^ ^^ " ^ ^^^ '' He sninn'd J^?r ""'"'^ ^•S''^^^ "° "^°^'^' ^han that !"-- rinc'^ t,- ?^^ ^^'^^^'' ^°"d of "ews, delighted ' Clos'd his sharp razors and drew neir ' %; Lf -.i. But while Pat's thirst v bus iss^n ti ?^^" T""^ attentive ear. A cannon's loud obstSous ^"^^ T^n ' f "^ ,^T^"^ °^ ^°^"^'"g ^1^. He started at the warlik^/,^"ar Thi^'^lf '}l '^""^•■y '•«""^' Wheth -/"^ ^^ -^^'^ ""^^W through' Kof/'" "^"" ^^" ^«^^' Whether it^urage was or fear ^hat ^usJ^T ^^own all of the beer ?u t ^''^ qu'ck-pac'd stride impell, '^^'^' Wxx^ ac T,. ^^T? "l^ ^^^^ "0^ pretend to tell ;-- I^ut as he did from Erin come. Where courage beats the ratlin- drum -it^^^^^r^- U ^Srr£'^.fc on a voya,c down ^Z^. reverbcrauons of sound, which ?oilow ils dfSse in l&x^i:^'^'^^:^ ''"* "^"''"^ 1 ts8 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX Where, when the trumpet sounds alarms, T* 111- ^"0"sandsofheroes rush to arms It well becomes us to conceive That he did not his breakfast leave But from that bold and daring spirit. "'^^'^'^'ast leave, TU u u i*^^' ^?''^ Hibernia's sons inherit. Lxplord m thought each neighb'ring vale ^""^sophy, And watch'd the current of the gale • ' Measur'd the objects all around: As they might check or quicken sound : And by some principle to find Thi« min* ^cc I r • But soon a mo^-e pontic thought On h s inso re iT''" '"^ ^'l^' -Again die cannon ."-oar To ovp,1 n^^^ ^ ^^^''^ >vrought. When its rude clav , ' ; , l^oLcX Tho^^riL. """t "^"^-^"^ ''^^''^ 5 Now sinking Ic iua. . ../.gl iT '" '''^"S^' reverberating sound ; Of classic imn ,^es a score ^ ^ Did on tho TW.''^"'^''^" ^^"^'>^' « Ff }.n » liP c^;^ " T 1 , ^"^ Doctor's mem'ry puur. i.cno, he said, I know thee well • Thou dost in rocks and caverns dwell. or where «-..g bene.Mhe hi,,. Kene.v^,, ,^^^^ ,^ ,,, ,„ , Thy chastened notes did oft prolong • So miy, so gentle, soft and clear, ' ^ 1 hy voice has charm'd my list'nincr car > Bi^J^hc:?!^^; ™^^^ shady bower. And mak'st the hills and vaK sin^With th v L ''V' ^'"^"^ '^"^^ ? -What say yoVp'atr"c"k^, hT^^^ou !.«;""' ""^ "^P^"""^ ' Of these same echoes at Kilkenny?" PATRICIC-" Yes, Sir, indeed/enough to shock vou For faith, they can do nought but mock vou ' f^l'-lZ 1 r"'' ^''' ^y ""^y ^'^^^- The Ed owifl repeat the oath • And if God bless you, you exclaim, The Echo will '. f^ th ' Say good, or bad, why in a rmrl- tVI a ^-^ . /'-fe the same. Tki IT ,u 1 • u' <, crack, I he ready voice w 11 e-ivp if hart- Nay tins I know that Old Tom White ^ ^* Has heard it morn and noon and ni^ no more Than the ffreT7r„n 1,0 c -j r In an odd way, I own, and strcniger, WhiLI ma? L^a iff/]^ 1"'^°'^' But give me suHi as T'r, been toTd Mnle ~ n ^ pLI J'"^^ ^°"^^''- That when a ^.stion i^ prefS^' W^^^w^^ .^^^'^^^^ -Your RevVence, I've a soMier's thought, ' ' Could It be into practice ■ ou^^iit • 'Twould give nevv SI ngtb whcn'cannon rattle. A — J _ ■ 1 . 1 a'^iiu jiiu inc misciii' li, well ranim'd down and load ii^ ittle ; The gun its s. ot could multiply, the rill » y bower, It scold ; pouring ! 'OU, le oath ; le same, it back. !e come; Y a day: oefore, longer. :ajoled, word •, f /A- SMARCU OF CONSOLA TtOIf. t ^ p ^fJ* ^'"^^ *^"^ increase its sounds, It would innTc' byllsl'mc'nt'e';"' T^ZT^l The sliot would revel in such plenty. "^'"O"^" variety , One gun would prove as good as twenty." xiru .}' '*"'^^^ ^^ ^l^c conceit : Who would ! smile at such a treat Of wand ring mcy. which would feign Ape reason m poor Patrick's brain : While of the list'ning country folk, borne star'd, and others smelt a joke. Now from the margin of the Lake, The trav'llcrs did their journey make 1 owards IJowness, when, it was not long Jiefore the Doctor spied a throne A motley troop, that lay at case Beneath the woodV, embow Vin^ tr^.,. Some slept upon the naked ground. ^ *^^^*- Scarce shelt'^^Jf^^i^^Srop^nlS"^^^^^^^^^^ . Others awake tl^'slu^b'ring'fire' '" ^"""^ ^"^'^ ^^^^^^ ' n * t, .u '^" "NQtf^iS, with greenwood, and with briar Or watch the pot w th hune-rv nrn 'vu^l I'j.i .V^\ , These feed the infant at he breasT' Or n. I' l"'"^^''^ ^°°^' P^'^P^''^- . While barc-feet?hiMr1n, brifk .Zlga'; °"^""^ '"^^ ^"^ ^ Amuse tl hour in various play • And as the aged Crones sat smokin-, The young were laughing, singing, joking ; But though the scene seem'd to express NoWsageili^kXttt^^^^ , ,, , " ^[-- h-e we here Tth" Doct "cS^^ '"^""^ ^^-^••^• Pat touch'd his hat, and thus replied .no ( .' ^ ^^ y^"*" Rev fence heard before • ^ne of tnem once took a twist t«^ -1 u- Anu scr. 'd, a gallant soldrer le Tn .k^ '^ ^'' P'°P^^ ''^"^^ enlist, Though he^he Gipsys lif^gav^ o'er T.Jk Tin. '"'" '.^P^^^ ^^'^'^ "^^• And bore it till poor gallant lick ' ^ Wn= ^/-''f ^''f "^"^^ ^^^ ^O'"^* I see him now aVhis deaU^'V^JonnH p ^f ^'T"^ '" ''^"^^ «" ^is back Full often l.ve I ^'^^^^t^'^Z^^^^ Froin p^ace to place they're seen to^u^ ^ "'' Ti,«„ JM or e er possess a constant home • complain vwavfh;j^..;i:i:;t ^om^ ^ T-Z/j? rOt/H OP DOCTOR SVNTAX They have no trade, nor buy, nor sell, ' lUit when they're paid will fortunes tell: And I have he.ud they can deliver Such strange things as make people shiver. Re igion Jac/c did ne'er profefs, liU he had shovilder'd O id Brown Bess • J or they ne'er keep a sabbath day, Tu » .Nor arc they known to preach or pray : They re sa.d to be so prone to evil, As to have dealings with the Devil fhat the weak bend them to the strong \v;.i, .» -f •''"!' ^T'' ^^^^'^'° °^ "K^^ ^»d wrong ; W>th them It is a eachng rule. That cunning should outwit the fool • That no one is unjust y treated VVhn wifi, k; JT ""^^^'^ i^^ 'ool ; They think it folly to pass by ' ^vithh^ open eyes ,s cheated. Whiclfcl/nce Zy offer, to obtain^' '""^""^^ opportunity, Tu u ij ^^^^^^ccr their wants may wi^h to gain ; They hold a pregnant he well told, Is worth at least its weight in cmM. And their great a. . ,s to prevail liy trick when bollfn cans ^1' While iiieir first v/isdom is to teach ^ ' No matri. ^ %^Z ^ ''' '^S.^^^;;,,Ht d K Thus jealousy, that painful feeding, Is whatt^ pS^et ^de^^^^ Nor have they much of that foul jarring ^ '"' Which brings on matrimonial sparrin^r In which, when foolishly enrag'd, I fear that'l have been en^a^V? —Whenever they are on the rout 'Tis urli frTi-^J ^^ ^^S^S<^- In short, whatever arts they deal in ** ^' . They have a pcrfLct knack at stealing. -If in those pots I were to peep, Perhaps a quarter of a sheeo A fowl or something else as good snecp, Might sometimes prove they've diinty food. lhoui(h, in hard times, they'll not say no. , ^ oi"i'''S and mice and arrion crow. -Theres „^t a corna-^to^be ^fou.. i-.U,U, England's an.p.e round, Na..i.avepj;s;^;rs-s;--^^^^^^^ Where with their fortune-telling art ^ ^ ' ,V-^^y P(f y^^ strange mysterious part. I IS said that their strange, gibb'rish tongue, T J J T P°^^ ^° themselves alone bclontr 1 he men are active, stout and strong, ' ^^'" The women charming, when they're young : Though with strange art their skins they dye. A , ■.^, Jl^eir teeth are white as ivory. ^ ' And with their hair so long and iettv P>nH q.v tu.,. ..^ .. A.id their black eyes, Oh l-^^"' "' '^^"' ^'"''^' *"''''''>'• iOi T" co,rf;;':; .«^^/-h «t „cca ion, , Syntax, whene'", n f*' "' "adon." Which from scJne fl"i ' h'^' '"'''^ ''"<•• {M not with en ,, ^od'^, '"'P'*'-' P''--asy I.im |i;s!; sati;, :v»fe» ■"' « •>. .., . -.«|IS=Si5fS: They scc„.y to give at.cS e ,'""""•■";;': What arc S moVn^T ^^'^^^""t a house .W^^'''^^' *° ^'^^ V. Cain healt andTn^^ ^^^'"'^ ^O" thd e ' "^^"^ "" ^«'"*^' ' r ?'" P'?^^""^ ^» to cat . 'P.r^/rsehes alive '^ i i^e fear of God the Jove o man ' '" V^ "'^" ^^"« Provides the f . ^he beadle's ln<;j/ ft ' i. ^^^ "ot affect vn.M^ "^ ^''^^l • Wh-, ^'°"e ^an keep'v' ^; ^-^T^-^ "^ ^^u^, '' ^^"'^ ^^^agc clan ; jyhjlc penal chasfnin^/^ t? ^ i "^'"'^^ '» auc • wh^at'nt„iTsr;;:t"^' "™ s" ^'-'" '"'" ""'"'" •• ^et by quick- Mnrr ^ '^''^ ^o know • And lUs c' i^S^^ul ^^'^ne™nic«. Vou ra se fikr. i,^ " ""'-bi own faces Jn the fool^'^brcTn '."'' ^?'" ^^^'^^ From the poor n'ou uh'"" ^"''^'^ ^^^^rs ^ Circle ,^:S;^-^;^i?e^^^^^^^^ '^n eager, penetrat^^ °eye'' --> A signal of th' expected cha M.u. To animafo .,.«^..,... ^he artful smil. ,hfl^¥'*'r* J ;■; v------ »P trie curious recei-7 R,7 -^«*;iy ; -.-••.-, cuay i,e, u is mnqf °» ^^eal ? Hect on wrong or ris - "/ > " your parties at a hft ^r purloin, as a useful pledge, Tho r" '-^' ^^ ^'^m or shif^ Where fashion's vo,ti°!'™ ''^™' Where Gipsy.?",f , ° P'^V "'e fool ? Wi.o to .he Gipsy's ttrX'"«^ fca. «i,h scorn Aye many of the ton sh croL''"^ t, Wi.'h ,he exnecfn,! , How often I've beeTcan" ToV" '''''^^'^'""• -»^^-aS!5?:A^c^&o„...... 1 64 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Who knows the world, and such as you, Must own tliat what I say is true —If all, who play deceit for gain, Were forc'd to join the Gipsy train, 1 he world would share one common fate, ^nd thus Its fortune I relate : The world would be one Gipsy state. But after all, how small our gain, Lxpos d to msult we remain, A wand'ring, persecuted train. btiil 'twould be vain for you to guess ^^y ^^^^ ^" seeming wretchedness We this strange mode of living chuse, And all your social good refuse : ?S^. 5' f ^T""}" f ^"P'y ^'i '^"^""^ nought' will bribe us to impart T\iat secret, all which you could pay Will never tempt us to befray. Show me your hand and I will state Your fortune and your future fate : But, wheresoe'er our lot is thrown, We never will infold cur own" 1 he Doctor from his pocket drew His purse, and random silver tnrew, And as his waiting steeds he sought « TT ^^ *^^"^' '" smiling silence, thought, He never may have been at school, But, faith, this fellow is no fool." Patrick, tmwilling to be idle, As he held Phillis by the brX, With halfa score black eyes around him, rrx t. parting their glances to confound him, Thought, while nis Master chose to trace The histVy of the Gipsy race It would be ungallant, nay wrong, ^^ ' ntru- ,. r '^^"^ ^° ^^''^"^ ^^'^^ ^"^^ ^^o'd his tongue, i^o^Sl\ r'^ e'^Perience, as he knew. He was not very apt to do. Besides here was a fit occasion To gratify his inclination Indeed, the Fair-ones, though the claim Is more tlian doubtful to the name • a/SXV^' ^' -f '''^"i l'?°'''"» ^°^^' ^y^ thei; skins in deepest brown: As a black swan it would be rare To see the face of Gipsy fa"r Well then, these Brown-ones did not wait For him to open the debate ; But, having gently slrok'd his cheek. Which was, I fear, nor smooth nor sleek, And slyly chuck'd his bearded chin, Which brought on a good-humour'd grin, They jabber'd forth that they were willing To tell his fate for half a shilling. Pat smil'd consent, his sixpence paid. And thus the witch commcnc'd her trade. Gipsy.—" I see, as sure as you have life, i hat you have never had a wife." Patrick. ~-« As sure as hogs are made of bacon. Your tongue is woefully mistaken, You are a pretty piece of youth. But, faith, I wish you'd speak the truth Ne'er had a wife I think you say Is that your conjSiration pray If you say wives ne er had any Your guess-work is not worth a pe^nny Foi .ure as your black eyes can see, My pretty mistress, IVehadthrJc And one, I'll swear it, was alive ' A his morning, when the clock struck five." Gipsy train, Gipsy state, cuted train. ood refuse : s to impart, s to betray, future fate ; i cur own." is no fool." the bridle, ripsy race, apt to do. nclination. ;st brown : liipsy fair. the truth, on pray ? I penny : ad three, ]i By a false li I now see why ZtitZlZTV'''''- ' 165 I now see wh; „; etr'"' ""'"'•^"'l' Tis plain cnZI^^ «>=, miscanicd : line 1 «^s bS ^°" ''"'-^ ''=™ """r r-Z^,''.'''^-" My hon.,. .uJ^'J'^ y So you your chaHVIn"' ^""'•^ ^'^ brown : That yon young girl whom ^"'^ '^' ur 1 J ^^0 s out of sft-Sf I u • I" >'0" may see Would on her own ten na^H . '"''"1'^ ^^'"^ tree/ ' Had I not turnM , "^'^ed toes, Have n.n ««•• learned p,e,y might bring °' " '"'"^ ^f .--a solemn shrine Syntax stood still wilh "• y^*""" died. ,„ wtrtrd t -™f -d'^hetdr' '" nature's most dtt^tlZ^ '^^.th t'''" ' ?« w.th the thoueht h.^nl!:L"A°",*'"'t is good an^ ^.. iC6 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX \yu\u \ n^e'^?"als Which will last When future ages shall be past • R f l^or^' T '"^' ^^ T ^^^^^^^'^^ Will tell how much it owes to t^fcc ? -But here I pause, for words will fail, x\or will my utmost powers avaV J paint thee truly, as scan. The zealous, powerful friend of m^^ Wno when the Demon had unfurl'd His standard o'er the Christian world ; W hen, by accumulated guilt Rivers of Christian blood were spilt • When we were told that we should reap ' T, . 1, , ^° ^"^^^ ^""^"^ ^^^^^^^ ^»t endless sleep ; That all thc^^sacred ti^es which bind In social bliss the human kind, That all the hopes which Truth had given ^1^ r J. sacred Truth inspir'd by Heaven, W ere franvd in artificial guise. The work of priestly fallacies • When Sophistry its arts applied. To turn the minds of men aside I roin ev'ry wise, unerring rule, Which Life is taught in Wisdom's school : When the vile passions were address'd To root out virtue from the breast ; When e'en the Gospel was arraign'd, And by blaspheming doctrines stain'd, Or thrcaten'd by the dark'ning veil That turn'd the shudd'ring virtues pale : When, by a hellish impulse driven, A 1 , , ,^;'^V?"? tl^emselves made war on Heaven, As the bold, fabled Titans strove. To wrestle with Olympi, n Jove • When Britain now no longer free From Imps of infidelity* Who dar d, with a relentless hand, To scatter poisoS o'er the lancV I.LANDAFF,— you shook your mitred head, ' You frown'd, and lo ! the Demons fled ! Your powerful mind resolv'd to wield The sword of Faith, the ten-fold shield ; Whose potent yEgis could repel The arrows of the Infidel • \ ou did the glorious contest try ; You fought and gain'd the victory ! The boon, to her brave Champions due, Religion grateful pays to you." And while the good of ev'ry age. Shall hymn the Patriarch and the Sage, Faith looks to that last great reward, u A '^'^^ ^^""^^ receive, in Heav'n prepar'd. \xn u •'* ""^ ^^"'i^ble voice like mine Could in thegen'ral chorus loin Which gives to universal fame, The noble deed, the splendid name - Could I but aid the heartfelt strain. Syntax would sing, nor sing rvain- But wliat my feeble Muse affords. In gratitude my heart^re^ords ! Beside the grave where Llandaff sleeps, Religion bends her head ond weeps ; And Science plants the Cypress round, To deck the consecrated ground; While Learning doth the tablet give, By which he shall through ages live." T^^:^}^.f^.]^;?^'^^'^ „^"d looks devout soliloquise, ri^'i "V7 ""'"^ icj^Acaycn, iiis eyes aitcrmiteiy wcreeiven. His hand he wav'd, which secm'd to tell, As well as hand could speak—farewell 1 s shall be past ; t owes to thee ! St powers avail, friend of man ; 3od were spilt ; le human kind, estly fallacies ; Is of men aside lympi, n Jove: s of Infidelity, I o'er the land, 5f the Infidel ! d the victory ! il pays to you. il chorus join, idid name ;— irsing in vain; leart records ! rated ground; it soliloquise, iy were given. IN SEARCH OF COXSOLA TIO.V. , g AD^e?r'h^"''^^-^ ^^''-''''^^ ^"0"»tain hi-^h ' ^ Appeard to court his curious eye • ** Though many a rich or rue-ed v-xL cave .0 .he^tt«l!-'cr °'^^ f^' But Punch ran by him on t'fe oadPsk L n^ '■'°"^"?>' ^''^''^ ^^'^ ^l Wlule Pat, behind, was lo "dt fa^ h v? ''''''''' '''' '^^^ - And kicking m the dust and sprawl ''« ^^'" ">"«^ ^^'dd'cd at the gate • The to ette of a ^^t a';''d hal '" '""^' Wai'il'g i" all attendanceX.' WithZfriSf J'nd without H^Z "°^' '° ''"' ' XT , He could make smooth the roughest chin Nor was th.s all for he could rig With friz^Td ctllhe Doctor's wig • Whate'cr the busy camp could teach. " ^ ^' s « »g , Had prov'd to be in Patrick's reach. 1 hus the good Doctor's air and mien Were quite correct, so smug and clean, r.P«M.c ^"'f^HP'^c^^J^cy ne'er had been. Fo^lf/pu^f Jlfho ul\do '" '"^^' .t"'^ ""'T' -"'^^ ^^ "^-y Arts ; ' With t^Xuld wield a^tL^shfniri: ^ '""' ^'^^ '' Tj ,j A, "fcdle drive, or drive a nail; In fact for all things that the mind ^ ^ ' Could hope m such a scheme to find &:i,!arcVisVe°a-\i!et^^^^^^^^^^^ And all as yet was clean and tight, "^ ^'"^ Where er the Doctor pass'd th- night • Though we're not pledge for what may wait His progress in the book of fate. xirP"5 ^^^^ ^^^^ '^ ^"^^^' ^P'ce of pride Which sometimes turn'd his tongue aside, n A ' ^ Nor suffer'd truth to be his guide : And, ,n the kitchen of an mn, fte seldom thought it was a sin By many a bold and bloody srory ^ ^"' To boast his own and England's glory • And raise his Master's rank and station! To be tirst Parson in the nacion. —He would exclaim, his Rev'rence there. A„^ .f .X.' •^"'"^'"^' ^'s pipe in easy chair, ' And at this moment readinir Greek A ri^,«« i^ And as for ..v.ling, he has^Slvherett^anoX^^ir^Jas'^e^V Where he has rode on camels' backs. ' Ti • J , . elephants were common hacks This dav the D^rfrnr «ro^ ,. t^„„_ "•»^«mcKb. But from a hatred of alFshow""' ' ""^ " w.^f '''^'^' t '^'^.^^°P ^^^n, ' Was travelling incognito. if' A landlord fa. who ZT'T^ "'''■"'''^"'■''- '6, V «'>"li make a tonm^K'f """^'l '•'"'' f""'- You may, with all habitual skR?^ '^' ^■'""' <'<«"•. From anna of rcro^^'' 7 ^-^' '^he Ba d tJ^ h"'''^ ''^,^''^ ^'«"e : •■'"'See U .lJ„Tit^e^t^f-■-"^ ?r " .o.d .- In times of orf In""* "'''•CToivn Hut now a strn^^M "^ P""' ""<■ K<>nc : With i:,,r^ straggling street displav'd While in the mid t "i buM- °^ '^"'"'"6 "•••"'e ^ ^' And almanacks hung o„"he door'.'" '*'"" "^'P'inWcd o'er. For that Jhi^h''""' >'"^''' ^"'J «"e or mat uh,.h now was past and gone. 1 70 'IHE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Prints deck'd the wall of ev'iy hue, Yellow and red, and green and blue, Churches and horses, heads and towers, _, With ballad histories and flowers ; The humblest specimens of art Did all their gaiety impart :» While m the chminey roses bloom . A J /I y^ breathe their fragrance round the room, And flauntmg peony so red Did on the hearth its foliac^e shed Then on the mantel-shelf above, There was the plaster forn^^ofLove H.°wi?f ^ '''^' ""^ ^"P/-^ ^^^°"" '^^^^ ^^^'-^P^^ «^ iv^^x^^v.^ Wellington: -He with a curious smihng eye, View'd all this mural pageantry • Then, in arm'd chair in corner plac'd TT , , , y^}^^ ^ ^°^^' well-clad cushion grac'd, He bade his host who told the fare, A speedy supper to prepare. The cloth was clean, the chop well drest, The home-brew'd ale was of the best, And Syntax 'joy'd the humble feast. 1 he damsel, who, with rosy look. Curtsied at every word she spoke And might be thought a rural beauty, ^ ' Perform'd with care th' attendant duty. The pipe was on the table laid. Where Maro's Georgics were display'd • So thus he sniok^d and thus he read. Till nature bafle him seek his bed: ine Doctor now was seen to clamber Up a rude stair-case to his chamber. Where by the day's fatigue oppress'd, He said his prayer and sunk to rest : A h,f.M;n" •"* 95.t^7^^'eregone, About the time the clock struck one, A bustling noise his slumbers broke. He snorted, started and awoke Recov'ring then from his surprise. He shook his head and rubb'd his eyes. The cloudless Cynthia, glist'ning bright, A J 1 ^^^ °'^^ ^^^^ ^'^^^^ ^^s borrow'd light ; And, as her silver beams she threw, Expos'd all round him to his view He thought he saw a troop of cats. But it appear'd that they were rats! Who seem'd all frisking, quite at home, ' In playing gambols round the room. If they were fighting or were wooing, He could not tell what they were doing But now It was his serious aim, lo terminate this noisy game • For to these rav'nous creatures, he Had a deep-felt antipathy • Nor would he dare to venture forth Unclad, for half that he was worth; He hiss'd and hooted, though in vain ; . 1'h^7 fled, but soon return'd again. To drive away this daring crew, He with great force, his pillow threw • i3ut soon he saw them mock and scout it, ' Running around and all about it The bolster follow'd, and a stool Was sent their furious feats to cool . And as a kinsman aids his brother, ' ^, ._, "^^^^ shoes, soon follow'd one another. /n"«i3".V''^i'/''">"''''' '^^'- ^'^ .^'^^^ ' ^" ^^"^ tl^e missile weapon fled ; In shoit the Muse's tongue is tied To tell all that he threw beside. '?« Nay he rcsolvy ,„ cut a shor, "a '","■•""= : The curtain which by timVuf^ ''"'■^'''" 'o^'n^I him 'mposy awhileTe^str tc? T„ " "?""» "P ""^ Doctor's wi. The rats n s All discompc Vet wta';"i^;=„!^,;"M To sceTns";;;, „„ , He saw how Si "? f'"-'^'">i'- sealed, -S""ea ; ^hen his coo, thoA°;: blfcSte.:? "''^^ f''' And laughing as hL°bS1,tds"l!'„"er"nf' ' The host too bow'd -In) h. '"'l'^^^ ' He loudJy vov^'d hene'erhad hca"d S^hl"/ '" ^^^ '^''^ '-od been There a;.;f'^ '""■■ '""""^i's ken Jfl a>rone tithT'" "f ^'^ '" ' ^» laitji, 1 saw twenty twenty. plenty, 17» THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVXTAX But I don't mind them no not I. ~ iVe had them oft for company. I ve been where ts and all their cousins, ^ ^ Have run across . ,y bed by dozens ' SYNTAX.—" It is an animal I hate ; Its verv si^ht I Pv^rr-.*- . A viper 1 would rather see tj,..,V ^r ? i execrate : -iw fk 1 ' » Than one o( this due iam Iv. 1 hat they suck eggs I may allow, ^ n,.f r n«'« ^ /^'t^^ "^i""'^"*' Srain wc all must know ; Hut I ne er heard, I do declare, That these snme vermin feed on har " tL y. .u"' "?' yo"'- K^v'rence, Old Nick rate 'em, They suck the oil and the pomatum ; And when in scrambling they grew louder O, tht?y were fighting for the powder. ' I>ut still 'tis shocking, past enduring, For the wig's maim'd beyond all curing. — If they could have but eat the brains Once cover'd by these sad remains, And by a miracle been t.iught Just to emp ov them as thcv ouirht • I know full well, Sir, what I mean ^ ^ * ' Tu^ ' . '^^^' ps, 'tis true, they would have been The wisest rats, however droll, That ever rr^nf Jnf^ , i,«i -» SvMTAv « r *u^..i 1^ T i luu ever crept into a holc^ SYNTAX.-. I thank you Pat, as I can spare This lot of artificiai hair But for my brains, no rats shalftastc 'em, ' n * * 11 r '^ ^"'^" remain where nature plac'd 'cm liut tell me. Landlord, does your town A ski'ful Pcruke-malcer nwn A^ho can this Caxon dire restore To the same fom t l^Tbefo e"' Landlord.-" O yes, what can be done by art A 1 ^ ^jCK Razor's knowledge will impart : ' A clever hand as you have seen And who in London oft has h^.-n At certain seasons of the year Our 'SnuiiP' r. and furbish up for you. * was a cc^n llor's, a tie, That did a solemn air supply When he let loose his hackneyed tong-ie *^^ ^' To prove wrong right, and rightful wrong, liut If that wig which deck'd his brain Could speak and with clear words explain How many lies came from that head ^A^^.v ^^^"^'^''s fine flowing curls o'erspread, Idobeheve, nay, I could swear, There'd be a llf> fn» w i • crl.m^!".^-^"4 '"°r<: ^.^? P''^sj and gone ^ - i-rince iiif Vuracious bird has flown : And no harm s done to this said elf, To sell his wig and pay myself. Of] 'H te*^..^ g^o'!;-';' London „„rfe_ SVNTAX IV, I ■ .'°r " ?°'" >•»"'• own Was brought the Doao , n';!'^'^^ ^^^ New/ '"^' ^'^ ^>'^-" Ti r ^° sec iiow thfs u-r vfJ' f'^^ ^^"" down |J'^' fragiant tea his thilT ^'J^ ^vaddled on ^or, wliile lie dirl I ?c'i "^ ^^'ff» the Vermin « r ^'■*^^^ Of those who 'neath the n. m? '''^'^ "^''^"c •' ' ^"""^ ^''^'^^n^^ O-- '."-C" who, by « c r nvi??, '""'"'= ! "e wartor's spfaJSv-dTbi;!" pWcd'Lowc ; or all the sccfcs w°j'> ^"d discord wild in ,„ <^''--r.^:-^£i^'p:^,^ "^-"..n.o„d. Oflove requhed orS™ ^'"S!,?"d Reason p/.ies ,. "■"h her smiling train n'","'"''' or mock'd with ,. ' fate ordain„^l ;'" ' _. Or dovvnca^ „„.„.?_ '^!"' scorn - .-.>. .ciiuited or forlorn r. OrrhosebyX''„»,'d»'''i;'g' Of FSdrhSf';.^-""«r '^" 'or ?,':?:?^^-'"^iin^s'of'?t;,:K •• W Hatred'sTcrce"-,",;!? ' "'"^'.P''™ He, Af|-cclion'« !?"'''"1» m the dust" •' ■*' MICROCOPY RESOLUTION TEST CHART (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) 1.0 I.I 1.25 MAS msm Hi l; us us t& "i u 1.4 2.8 3.2 |3.6 14.0 2.5 2.2 2.0 11.8 1.6 J APPLIED IfVHGE Inc 1653 East Main Street Rochester, New York 14609 USA (716) 482 -0300 -Phone (716) 288-5989 -Fax *74 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Of honeymoons that speed so fast, They're gone before ten days are past : Of ignorance tliat never knows From whence it comes or where it goes; Of Folly in its motley coat, That acts and thinks and talks by rote ; And yet, howe'er by fortune hiirl'd, x Skips on and laughs throughout the world ; While Wisdom, though 'tis known to save A sinking nation from the grave ; Though she alone can form the plan Of real happiness to man ; Will often see her sons neglected. While knaves and blockheads are protected. But still the mind that loves her laws, Wliose courage dare support her cause, Though fools may scoff and knaves may grin, And join the senseless rabble's din. May, for base ends, roar loud and bellow For any factious Punchinello ; He that with virtue is endued, Will win th' applauses of the good, And more, altho' the crowd may frown, He will be sure to have his own. And what by kings can ne'er be given, He will possess the smiles of Heaven. — If such distinctions then pervade. By rigid rules, the writer's trade ; Whether in folios they deal. Or in the daily page reveal, By reas'ning prose, or lively rhymes, ' The hist'ry of the passing times ; They who from party views or ends. Ne'er strive to serve their private friends, Or with design'd intention stray From truth's clear, open, manly way ; Their works, whate'er may be their name Deserve the grateful meed of fame. What human nature's known to feel The pages must with care reveal : What human nature's doom'd to do, These pages hold to public view : Of all things that we daily see. They give the passing history. The Journalists are bound to tell. When things go ill, when things go well. It is their office e'en to draw An owl, a pheasant, a mackaw, Whether of bright or dingy feather, Or separate, or all together : Whether in sunshine or by night, Objects are offer'd to the sight : To paint as forms appear, the shape Of an Apollo or an ape. And solid, sound instruction give Or from the dead, or those who live : — To offer praise, or let loose blame On vice or virtue's various aim ; To shoot their darts as folly flies, And give protection to the wise : While they as steersmen strive to guide Each bark that's carried by the lide. And with its cargo wins its way From hour to hour, from day to day, Just as the stream or varying gale Claims the strong oar, or swells the sail. — This task, thus carefully pursued Deserves the fame of doing good ; Though if their interest gives them leave My double dealing to deceive ; If they the cause of truth betray, And deal forth falsehoods day by day; If they from any cause inherit A. factious zeal, a party spirit, it goes; by rote ; to man ; he good, his own, s trade ; e reveal, J times ; ly way ; ic view : history. nackaw, 3gether : le sight : • an ape, hve : — )us aim ; he wise : / to day, ig good ; deceive ; '• by day; ty spirit, AV SEARCH OF CONSOLA TIOK 1 7 5 If they, the fix'd determin'd foes, Whoe'er thcv hn .r h Employ a subtle, partial pen, Not 4a?nsf f iVo^ ' °^ ^H^'^ '" ^^^^^^^ If they from justice dare to s verve I fnow '' I w' if 'T' Y '''' ^^'^^^' But if they put no man's ^mm^^nWhhu^^^^^^ They draw the well-ffin asll^^dolr ;\tet";rsk^^ If they praise those who never fawn'd, '^"^'^'^^^^^shide;- iNor their fair honor ever pawn'd • Whose hands, with no corruption'stain'd Who serve ^:r!7w:^S2r:?,f^™^ . Who stand^l^^bXLrk'of our lawj"" '^^ '''' ^ "^'^^ ^^'^^^ ' And wear at heart their country's cause • Neither by p ace nor pension bought, * ^vi, ' ^"o speak the very thing they thou- If . Who ne'er, to serve a paltry end, To kn^vk f 'V -i, When Trut^i th.^s holds the dai& ^^'^" condescend : Ar.A '.u ^ "" ^''"'? ^^"^ ^^'^ds of virtuous men And with due caution to relate What nis^r. ,'n .t ,. . _,,. ^ . Among the little or the g^^^^^^^^^^^ Th' instructive and the fearle<;s mrh To ^ •' . 1 , -The Journalist, to party bSd' Who'^sfHl l''*',"'''^ P?'""' ''<^"«- 1 this proud title will ascend •— Ti, A.^ people's and the Sov'reign's friend Thus, as the musing Doctor sooke Pof nn7 1 •,• That he a Parson's he^ad should ??g' ^^^o' sn '"rtl'l^^i' Y "* '^'^ J^^^* The ensign of the wordv ivar wi,.vi, r smartly m a Lawyer's w ?, That it should now ScoS 'est clasV An''^'- 'tS°'\1^'^ "' '^e Ba ° — Tl. n ^^''^^^o^'^e this unexpected job. ' Who n.?;rs^^i'ov: :^r"rarfrt7s' To'^i^d^'^'^ '^^ ™'^ °' '"-^ - »-' -The Lion as fhe fab'e sa>s, ^ b^y „ "^ "''J^':'^ and our ends! And you, I think, who in this' town, Bear st,ch3'"'- '"","'' ^^^^ ' When you your friendly' neighbours meS"""™^' ^^"°™' VVhenasyottlkl°ti;e''i?,:erfu?Crsr'l'rhilet, . ■ On Fortune's or MlsSnet brl" "" "'''^■^^'io"' P^ss Will not forget your friends the Rats." ,,,., , Or^^i^v^n"e^a■^h-i;;^;ireVa1r^"-'-"■'-P-. nlle Se"lSsta'rp'JlplU"' ^°^ ^V7t '15^ ^^^ ^'''" ' The strange events by which men thrive, '•%^.' THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Nor e'er forget these imps of prey, Or Lawyers who are worse than they." Thus Dick unto his home departed, With cash in hand and merry-hearted. Syntax with the meridian sun Had his day's journey now begun : When as the Landlord scratch'd his pate, And humbly bow'd beside the gate, Says Pat, "my friend as I am starting, I'll give you a kind word at parting. There was a man in former time, But in what age or in what clime I cannot say, a sportsman he, A perfect hunting prodigy, Who, as he beat about his grounds, Was chas'd and eat up by his hounds : If you would, therefore, save your skin^ And all the flesh it buckles in, Look, that you keep a guard of cats. Or you'll be eat up by your rats." The Doctor now pursued his way. Nor haste was his, nor slow deay, Till, at the welcome close of day. He join'd, at York, the friendly party Of the good 'Squire and Madam Heartv. I ' \ I I CANTO III. HOW I wish that I could sing, And touch the sweetly sounding string, In soft harmonious praise to join Of her who claims a source divine, An offspring of celestial birth And Charity yclep'd on earth ; Where they to whom its spirit's given Enjoy the best foretaste of Heaven : — For what in life can mortals know. So sure a balm to human woe, As that which certain joy imparts. Or plucks the pang from mourning hearts j That bids the turbid passions rest And soothes to peace the troubled breast. — If Vengeance with its hostile brood Of stern resolves inflames the blood. And lifts the hand to strike the blow That meditates an added V'^-. , — If Malice, with insidious aim, Prepares, in secret, to defame The virtues of a spotless name ; — If Envy, with distorted eye Does ev'ry failing magnify. Gleams hatred on superior worth, And fain w. uld bury deep in earth Each plant that blooms with blossoms fair. Which Virtue makes her darling care ; — If, 'mid this odious group appears Mild charity that knows no fears ; E'en Vengeance owns a soften'd soul, And yields to the benign controul : Malice, the influence kind obeys, Checks its foul tongue and learns to praise While Envy does her name belie, By smiles of genVous svm^athv. But such is not the only good That by this virtue is pursued' : In many a stream its bounties flow, To case the weight -^f human woe; aman woe. i AV SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. , h j Whn<: it ex.irts its pow'r to bless n -j- -, It gives to plei: sure higher aim? u . J ^'?'"^ ^""^^^ happiness. And banishes each Si s? ?e ' ' Th1r'f.^""?"C^ direst claims It gives to manne-s socia' easP An^ t, • u ""^^ ^'^turbs domestic life To evVy station ai^s a '^^^ace ' ^ Anfrl^H '^'\^'f^ ^o please ] As it with ch!nge%l cham.'Lp'pefrf '" '^'^^'"^ ^^""^ ^^^ .' »^..c o -^ r ^'^^ ^'^^^ the smile, now dries the teirs A welcome not express'd by words • But which dumb feeling can imparl For Charity^e'er stSaC ' ^^"'^^"^^^^t': Where Hea'rty's'wfshes now a tend To Jfe^t '""'r^^-^tahle roof Where he may fin1tr^Je:ifs\rclV'"'^^' '' ^^« ^"^"^^ For there 'ti/cHrR{^-^vTe^^f'^'^^^^-^i / , „" Shakes by the hand and kisses kind ""^ ^^ HOSPITALITY. Told 'tween these friends the mutual mind • And lauch warm salutation past, Then, what had happen'd since hey last Were m that friendly room together, The sta e of thmgs and of the weather Employ'd tnem 'till the Minster chimi' , '^"'^°"^'^c«i the approaching suDoer fim^ A pleasm- sound to strike the ear ^"PP^^ tmie, And Syntax was prepar'd to meet With d„P ?/ """^ ^"''^y traveller ; n' '".-f^ '^"^ ^h^"^d in HeTrt/s vim He e ' ?'1 '"'"'"^ '•"'"'• Nor did he m the bev'rage oass 'Tin \^l f '^ ^'? '"^^^ ^^^"t to do: But to the ^Sq^ulStran^gfa^^e'ar^^"^^ ^"'^'^^ ^ ^»-^. The theme Ift^ r^LTly^^^^^^^ ^ . But now of her he had not spoke No'^'" 'if^'' ^" ^«^"^^»- days i Nor seem'd inclined a tale to swell N., ^"^1 ^ "^'-^trimonial joke But though he seem'd no? over gtd h" SsL'n' f^"^'" ^^'^^^^^^' Besides, the journey of the day ^ ' Mig^Tt rh.l^^^^^ "^k" ^'^ ^"" '^^' Though if an appetite e'er prof'd "^ ^'' ^"'"^ ^^^^ W- 1 hat a man's hours in comfort mov'd Squire Hearty thought his pleasant friend (By which tlTo^c^'sTne'sTxt^r ^"' 7,V h And^hat, whe^hfhad ceas'd'tt'sup"^^^" ^' «'^PP-^^^*) 1 he sage would clear the matter ud W] iy -irs. Dyntax was not brought. * O Happiness, our Being's end and aim I-Pope. Mi ■I n ' I 12 178 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX \\ It seem'd so strange and so unkind, That she should thus be left behind. She might indeed have had an heir, Since she had paid a visit there, And could not leave so great a joy, As nursing a dear, darling boy : But wheiefore should the Doctor hide What might be such a source of pride ? ^ She might be ill and could noi come ; But then he would not quit his home. These and a dozen queries more Her doubting fancy brooded o'er : But hovvsoc'er her ^vish might long, She knew her place and held her tongue, And left the 'Squire to decree Th' unfolding of this mystery. The supper done, the chat began. And thus the conversation ran. 'Squire Hearty.—" Though unexpected you are come, I'm glad you think my house your home j And if the proverb says what's true, Which those old saws are apt to do, The merry but unlook'd-for guest Full often proves to be the best : But that's all one 'twixt you and me, And so with all sincerity, I bid you welcome in my wine, In which your Hostess here will join." A thought the Lady now inspir'd ; The time was come she so dcsii-'d; The secret now must be her own, And what she wish'd to know be known.* —She fill'd her glass then smiling bow'd, And thus th' expected grace bestow'd. '' My kindest wish I drink to you, And to dear Mrs. Syntax too : But why when thus abroad you roam, Leave you your charming wife at home ?" Syntax first gravely shook his head, And then in soften'd accents said, " My answer, Ma'am, will make you grieye, Her's is a home she ne'er will leave. Till the last summons shall be given, To call the virtuous soul to Heaven. My Dolly's gone, alas ! to rest, Where the green turf lies on her breast, And as I othe-s teach to bear With patience the inflicted care, 1 must a strong example show To stem the roughest tide of woe j But grateful to that sov'reign power, Who rules the year, the day, the hour, That he doth still my passage bless With what I know of happiness : That now I have within my view, ,T,. ^"^^^ warm, such gen'rous friends as you : Tis to my loss that I now owe, The heart-felt kindness you bestow. 10 sooth my mmd, to calm my grief. In changing scenes I seek relief, —My former Tour, I grateful tell, In all its views succeeded well. 1 o ease my state to fill my purse, I mounted my old Grizzle Horse, And kindness both by night and day Was the companion of my way : And ere my present Tour shall end, I trust that Heaven will prove my friend, That I again shall reach my home, With prospects of fair davs to com.e." Madam clasp'd both her hands and sigh'd, WH^n Heiirty ip firm tone replied ; oodcd o'er : /A" SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. I pnthce do not play Mie fool xr , ^^ To find a 'kerchief to clisplav v ^""^ P°^^ "^^o your ridiculo If gnef by ..inh cannolt^r'd, ;^tK"4'o' ^ ^^:^^\ Compose he bamSvh"^ ''''''^''^ ^^°' '7'h« \,^- ;^ \wiich reason oours I he various rankhn^^ wound, fn 1?°?"' - ;"-^«o iciiiKuiif'- wounds to limi ' if your whole fa4 tl^e'S^^k.akes 'o' 'theTAdl''' J'^'''^•>.'- -^-^^ = Laughter and joke and „^it h, 4l,r"' '" "'«'-»".on aches. Nor eloquence wih7lU,s"cln.'m "'r"'"° P"'" •• J1.C learned Leech musttheS apply'-'" HisS™'™^ ?=•"« disarm But such a grief, my ZLi, as yours " '"" "'" ^^i^Pcnsary. T. 's mirth relieves, 'tis pleasure cte's • Pleasure that reason dofh allow ' Such as our^"o'ciS'tSarrS"'" '^'^oi""^ b™--- ra n„.n Physician?Sd to-n o^row" '''''' ""^P"-''"^- >'0^«'- T^e Sire's l""r/°^ >•"'- =^™"'-" St rcLd'oX'Sct'^-.Tb^I?''^"-'' And I engartiat you' eav? Y^r^X^^f ^''= ' Syntax replied,-'- ^'ith half r^eye "r '''"' =" 'i?'" ^^ «"y cork.» But as I'm with fatigue oporcst ' i i ff'' >'?" '^'"d I'liilosoyliv • And, at the mornin#s breakfast tahl. i i '^ "'S'"'^ refresiii,,, VSx ■ With alffair r^^t^^'^^eitot"" "°' '^"' ' ^"^'" ">? abll; Whichltra^Sl^SS^thlr^^-f^'T,, Arm'd with a tapet'-s burning'^i^r''^'"^ ^°' '°"' ^'^^«-' He to his clt b'jnil;:'*^' '- '-t good f,iere : O never s,iJSi"F'S,rrtst^, The^^l^^fUSl o/lfqS'ofrarrWhi-h^'lS-'h "^ ''<= ^'>»"' "« for ever ■ If m the larder you should pop Of .,,""'??, ""^ ""d go may share' -av. in theX'SjV;; f, >„?i> ^^^^^ '""^ ^-"-^ ii(f? ^1 1*,^ I .M ■ 'Ij "i I r,:,ii .rwiitiil i8o THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And soon found Patrick's notions true. 'Twas now past ten, the Doctor gone, The 'Squire and Ma'am were left alone, And while he pac'd the parlour floor, They talk'd their friend the Doctor o'er. I've said before, the Dame so kind, Was always of her husband's n^ind ; And did so to his temper suit. That such a thing as a dispute Had never happen'd from the hour, \Vhen they both bow'd to Hymen's power : Like Trueman's Cocks, who, at the Pit, Could boast they never had a hit. And this was true,— but then 'tis thought, These self-same game-birds never fought. To give assent and to obey Was here the order oi" the day. A "" J u ^'f ^ gen'rous, kind and free, The soul of hospitality. And she knew how to give a grace To all the plenty of the place. "My dear, I have a plan," he said, "Which is now working in my head, And in it you must bear your part." Mrs. //m;Yy.— That I will do with all my heart. Hearty.— ThQ widow who has cast her weeds Is tired of the ;life she leads. Mrs. //.—That is a truth which I well know, For she has often told me so. //• — And sure she could not better do Than marry Syntax ; what think you ? Mrs. //.— 'Twould be the very thing my love ! Oh, she would fit him like a glove ! //.—And if I'm not mistaken, he Would love her to idolatry I Mrs. //.— She's of the very make and trim To suit just such a man as him. //.—He in his qualities and mind Must rank as of superior kind. I think him a delightful creature : But then in outward form and feature, Say does he that appearance wear, Which is most cherish'd by the fair ? Mrs. /i^.— It is most true, his nut-brown face. With his long chin devoid of grace. And his droll manners may not prove. Incentives to a widow's love. //. — But who can tell what she may do, When all his learning's brought in view .? Mrs. H. — Indeed, my love, that's very true. H. — When so much Latin, so much Greek, Does her approving favour seek ; When all the learning of all ages. Drawn from philosophers and sages. Who liv'd renown'd in distant climes, And are the boast of former times, When they are brought her smiles to greet, And laid devoutly at her feet ; They with his virtues and his nam.e, Might in her bosom raise a flame. iSt W.c.hcrThfg ,^ K^, -^-.m done, novec./Dr„;Ltr;or^''^<'-- And I can, as I hope, provide ^'"""J^ ^"^ ?"°"'«- ' We have a friend ^mL ,h'e ci.y, ^S^^'Ir'l', ^'""■"Plish'd bride il ctef ti?"d ,eZ°d':,r„ °"'' ^"^ «'" - p-«y : Admires jo,^'^;„'^»»^7Poy her p^„ .. B« ... .heT^rl?o7rA:^g "^^^T -'-" «»''. A3 you propose : if is t^sSn L o lee m?' ""' >« ''''^ =«ch rdief yvnen all the sweets ha^r^ k^ ""c . And many a love-1'ick 'pllts™ ovT ''' SnT.-^S!' -"f assu Je'sts turn"" *^ "° ■"»- "- 'over,- As I and my good wife have d?ne"' » ^ux«^ 'Tim wi we wSii frn gmrnggm I I I I iBa r//^ roi/AT ^z* DOCTOR syntax And faith I do not sec the reason, Why sorrow should not have its season : Why, while a Moon for Joy we borrow, Wc may not do the same for Sorrow j Why a good husband, such as you, When he has mourn'd a month or two, Should not then seize the fav'ring hour, To haste again to Hymen's bower : 'Tis downright folly to refuse it, And your superior sense will chuse it. Turn the thing over in your mind, And ihen as soon as we have din'd, You shall Vv'ith a Knight-errant spirit, Which I well know that you inherit, Go and declare your rightful claim To ask the favour of the dame, Your speech you, as a lance, will wield. Your wit will prove a powerful shield. And I've no doubt you'll gain the field. But e'en should not the prize be won, No ill ensues, no harm is done." — Now there's i feeling, more or less, Which I believe we all possess : And, if by reason 'tis controul'd. May aid the courage of the bold ; To manners it may add a grace. And with gay smiles adorn the face : Nay, in its soften'd state hnpart, A gen'rous impulse to the heart : — 'Tis vanity ; which now impress'd Its influence on the Doctor's breast, And whisper'd to him to attend To the warm counsels of his friend. Thus Pat was order'd to unfold All that the trav'lling-trunk could hold ; To shew the drap'ry to the day. And bring the best suit into play, To give the wig a modish figure, And ev'ry curl becoming vigour. Pat thus employ'd his utmost art. And Syntax soon was trim and smart, Prepar'd to play a lover's part : Nay he was as to outward show, A gay ecclesiastic Beau. The party now sat down to dine. The well-dress'd dish, the gen'rous wine, Cocker'd the Doctor into spirit, And sense of his superior "merit. — The toilet too had done its part, > With every fashionable art, And yielded its cosmetic arms To heighten the fair Widow's charms. — Thus as the Minster clock struck fivd. Syntax inspir'd and all alive, With humble air, that look'd like shame, Appear'd before th' expecting dame. But while she did the forms prepare Of who sits here, or who sits there, The 'Squire had popp'd behind the screen, To hear what pass'd and not be seen, " — I see," she said, " that Hearty's gone, And means to leave us here alone. I love him well, he is my friend, But much I wish that he would mend Plis antic tricks, his darling fun, Which men of sterling sense would shun. On gen'ral conduct we agree. Though his wit is not wit for me. . But we must let, in life's short day. Those whom we value have their way. The best are to some fyiiings prone. And we should try to mend our own.* «83 ivill cliuse it. i have din'd, of the dame, rm is done." ; all possess : of the bold ; rn the face : :hc heart : — iter's breast, )f his friend. lit into play, ning vigour. over's part : iiastic Beau. )erior merit, lionable art, w's charms, nd all alive, 10 sits there, vould mend wit for me. AV SEARCI/ OP COXSOLA TIOK Syntax.-" Madam I came i. 'h« ,^ i . Jo that inspirt by the rose w,'- } "" ""'^'^ '" me superior frelln. And I must'^other'lhouj.Snfcr ''"t" "^ '=^''^ °f boa ty blows? rh.losophy in various ,va ys A.i ^" P^->se the fair rhilosooheV OM '", T, '^'' "hose stmly pries ' "' ',''? "^ ">e hiBhcs" pT-.ise: Of doubtful Science, where the^eye Is 'Z"J\T "^"^ "^^cLi^ But that, whoso search does not n ni^ ^^ "' uncertainty ; u,u- 1. Beyond what's r/rf/ anrf wL, ■ P'°'°"£f. Which you will think is well dcfin"cl • r h. '"7"^'' Hnn I pronounce a perfect sage ' ''" '"°[? ='™«"'o of the mind, wte"" '^"'■■!'"S l"^ "'ay show ''"^ '^'""<=' "^ ""X ^So, Instructs the conscience of man 'mi And .„e.h?^-f ='-Sl; S[iF'«-''. And ncath the warmth of Beautv's rn v tj ^ '• Thus giving to fair virti.e'^^lawr'''"^ ""'"""^ ^^^^ "'^''-^I d^^X, It is a visio?swe^etT^^:4:^-^^ ''''' ^^^1 her cause ; An?h7^°^"/''^P^^''I' smil'df atd'sTil^vf ^ '''^^'^'^ ^" >•«"•" '^ rw"^'"^ fo^vard, thus rephec ■ ' With his right hS'u^rLs'bre.lt"'" •^Madam'°I s''" '"' Dame addresV . pS?^co\ d^oVCwt^n^^^^^^ O, sheexclam'd. " Pm nii " r • I cannot say that I approvf The s^^ '.hai"e!rV'''"'^i°" "^"^i"-' To warC ^^V'^S^J'^e^' ' '^^'h o ,r nis,es To leave it ahogcthe? oS '""' '""^ f"'' ^'^^cs. " Ito Love should not, I do contend "^p ""^ '^" ^'^'^ctation thought • T? ^ '^?'' '.'P^"'^' Si--, as I aS ' A?^^f " ?'"' SO on to the end ' To ev'ry husband, ey'r^ wife ' '^"'' f°' "^ "-"th I now an™ ,i -liy voice IS slender, "and I nhv -n ?" "niiite the real lif*e '_ Though well I know that to the Jkv Y?"' '?, " ""'y »mmo„ way • Nay, ,f ,n ev'ry note I fail, \u'U°U n,'!' "PP'''"'' ""^ ""^'ody ou 11 call me sweetest nightingale.'^ ' ^ "^"^ TOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX n-- . . /. . 'Song. Beauty's a fair but short-liv'd flower Is no. .His .LtCou 'z^^:r^ -ii, , „„, ^ , „ ' ii It IS not, O tell me sc, But may not griiccs deck tho fnlr \v» u . ^ ^^^' "^^ no. Is not this true, &c ' ^''" ^"^"^^ '^ ^'^ '^"ger there ? But when the graces too arc fltvl n .^^ . • Is not uiis true, &c ^' ^ '"^^ "^^ virtue charm instead ? And should Aot virtue's power nrr.vv. ul T.t '^'''' '^'"^^ '» lastfngTove ? Is not this true, &c. fe^"vcr l-or beauty's fatal to the fair if • . Is not this true, &c "^ '^^^^ "°^ triumph there. Lovers would seldom suffer pain, If they knew how to weave the chain Is not this true, &c. »^ cnain. "^'"^ ^' Isron,.t\t'e;''|^^" ^~™ P--"'^ «-"">.. fiery da.. • If " 's not, O tell me so, Syntax with envaDtur'd aii- v i ■ , , ^ "^" ""^ *°' ' The song's a sermon I avow - "''"'i'!^^ ''% Y '"ff'""" ^'" ■^'•"i'-- And still I'm of "l^It' feeling p^ud '- '''™ ''"" ' ^''' " "°>^' And, in endl-tvM'gl^tc "/"'^ '"'S'^''' ^''™". An^k'ick'dX'^"' '""i "^^"S'" "-'door,""'' '" ''"'' ^'^^P^' The Doctor on tt down alS''°'™sr ""^ '''""•' ■ While Madam, sifiJfnl' with'SS "'""*^'^''' ^"'l "'"-''' = A„i !fi'i"TS '" '•'' outstretch'd arms And while those arms did thus enfold her She struggled so he scares could ho d her T°\eep her still, he was not able " bhe kickd hun and o'erturn'd the table The servan;^"e1,te°d,'t°o wh^se'care" "s"^ T"^^ Who with fiert?;e^1h'e Do'cCv'i^f^d'"'" '"^ ''"■'°"' f^"' And .oudlytsL'id"^i;:^L"^t'e''C'^^,^: -;„,,,„,;,, . . Then added, " Such a shape as ?Wne'^ ''^""" ^^'* '>'^^ ' Thus ,0 disS'm';t!s'^<,Vi^f ^s;f,^""' ^r' ' For had^ ;o\rsyr>SJr'ill S gtt^ """ ""™"°"^ ""' = I d spurn such impudent embraces." ' wi- ^,V".^' *'>° had lain conceal'd ' Wh,SDer'ri nl„„H " v„.. „„,, must V eM «5,,«fo u^ pn DC OH, youVe lost the field "' Syntax, who had no wish to stay, Made haste the summons to obey , nn instead ? A . , . ''^ SEARCH OF CO.VSOLA TlO V -The eyes f bcii.?. f ' ■' ^^ ^^'* '^'cking. Whirl, K , . . "v uiriiis I arms And when a„ „„«.; damc-'Ss ;jfrWi.h^';^„^rr"" °f ^ ^--le fis, ' Whh'n " r"',','^''- "*■' l''s toi '""S ""K"« -nd their „ai J; -By what on-cnsive sk ' "C? 'Ti"^"'^['' '"=• , , M do S tniil' - -" -"1 h^d"^ ^"^"^ "'^'o-^^' And. which i,, absol ,c ; hocki^t V"''"i?'=' ' -As they :^ we",:;^,'??e."4>cki™ - '-" -.oni.hn,ent The D^-jr wi;;,"^^: to 'STr^,:;;"'" ■"' --'". fa.e. Hie obedient valet now va ten WmI'- '""?• , ■ SS-TsiSlt" ■■''■• -"■ Th expected visitor advance ^ ''"'^^' Sheinstantl£S!H"^^^^^^^^^^^ " Invito .hetilt'twn^iicTor "''^'^ ''«->^^''' '" """™'"' """■'■ l™Wt',A%;^,1i^,V:.t* f-"-' hi."'"' """"»" ^'«'-' Nay cVry eunning art ap"ly"° ""''^'"^ ^T ■"■"[ "liat IS h.s age,-try all your Dower T„ > ° ^^'- ""^ master's histon- Nl'?,"!P!'-i!"'d.hisi„od^ onffe''' I°J'=^^!!.^' t?.theve,y hoSr°;^ Anri' .r°""«>^" ^f i^ commission well " r'nV T^^'' "^" "<-^',*^ ^"^ former wife. ^ ^e handmaid promis'd to obey ' a"^'^ ^j^Y grateful I can be." i* And nodding slyjy, sJi4 away. lU THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYl^TAX Now Lucy had a blooming cheek, And jet black locks adorn'd her neck ; Nor had she been five years on duty, To aid the toilette of a beauty, Without attaining, in her way, The arts by which she could display ♦ Such charms as render'd her bewitching To liv'ried gentry in the kitchen. She ask'd, if he again would dine, Which he preferr'd, or ale or wine. To such kind offers nothing loth . He chose to take a sup of both : Then on the board sweet cakes were plac'd, And all he ask'd the table grac'd. Things thus arrang'd, it was not long Ere Lucy prov'd she had a tongue. Which like an aspen-leaf was hung : But neither wine nor her gay funning, Robb'd honest Patrick of his cunning. And the first question she let out, Told him what Lucy was about. Thus Pat, who lov'd his master well, Was quite prepar'd what tale to tell. —Says she, in her familiar chat, " Pray is the Doctor's living fat ?" Pat. " Aye faith, it is, my dearest dear, And weighs a thousand pounds a year." Lucy. " Have you in many places been ?'' P. " In service, I suppose you mean : Only two masters I have serv'd, And from my duty never swerv'd. I serv'd the King, may Heaven biers him, As, when he dies, it will possess him. At his command, a gallant rover, I've travell'd half this wide world over : I've drawn my sword, and aye, by dozens. Have cut down Frenchmen and their cousins. For many a blessed hour I've trod The field, my ancles deep in blood. O these were sights enough to make A heart like pretty Lucy's ache !" L. " And did you e'er receive a wound ?" P. " Aye faith, I've lain upon the ground For half a day, when death and life Were quarrelling like man and wife, Which should possess itself of Pat ; But, in Heav'n's mercy, for all that I'm here quite well, and stout to view. And ready to make love to you. I'm nought but scars as you would know, If I could dare my form to show, — 'Tis hack'd and hew'd from top to toe." L. " Dear Mr. Pat, you melt my heart ; What cut and slash'd in ev'ry part ?" P. " The trunk, 'tis true, has suffer'd sore, Nor could it, Beauty, suffer more ; 13 -It for the branches of the tree. They're all just as they ought to be : But for my wounds I have a plaister, In a most kind and gen'rous master." L. " What children has the Doctor pray ? And may I ask Vvliat age arc they ?" P. " Children indeed, why he had five j But none of them are now alive ; ver swerv'd. iSj Where'er she mn;,vi ^ ^andVing eye Of n m r t ' ?^^ i'"^^' and blue What knowTcdgo I o, h ^'"°l« '"'°»'. *-' Heaven fnvK,vj ^ , ^ courting- ; That he shou d n'l ""^^ ^°"^^t ^^^ It might have been our li,/.' '"*"^"'i°", If nought Inri „. , . I . ' '° ment on • The cm-ious medley te,v"!/'"'M' """^ "'^ scree, ^ "'' '^'^^ '^-" "rh?L'?t« ,ni* 'jas bee 'either sung or said Shew the base daring ^/e'teluh ' d^o^ 'Tnd nr'^V'-^' "'"™ '-'", out AM ,vhile, with staring ever ama^M'""''^^'^''' ''^'"^, ^ ^"toapailofdhtyslop, i Ri t 1. V: ^^H^^B* i ^H|''.l.l ^^H^|H|<:!^^ ''^H HijJ 188 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And, with a scullion's strong-arm'd grace. Drove it full dash in Patrick's face ; Nor fail'd she with repeated blow, And deep-ton'd tongue, to bid him iro He, at a loss the rage to shun Of this fierce kitchen Ama^n! Struggled as well as he was able By way of shield to seize the table • And, m this strange bespatter'd state, ' With hasty footsteps sought the gate. But now 'tis needful to enquire The fate of Syntax and the 'Squire And just to settle the arrears Of blasted hopes and rising fears! I f e'er a pair of fine blue eyes Were seen expressive of surprise If e'er surprise, chang'd to alarm, ^ ' Display'd a face, now pale, now warm. As these two feelings might impart Their various impulse to the heart- 'Twas xyhen his Hostess did explore The Doctor as he op'd the door ' And, with unusual length of chin. He faintly bow'd and enter'd in' But ere the Lady found her tongue, For she saw something had been wrono- He, in a rather humbler tone, Thus made his serious frolic known • To the fair widow I have been. Of course the blessed dame I've seen' —You must perceive I'm in a ruffle, For to speak truth, we've had a scuffle : Nay I have somewhat more to say, I've been ill-treated in the fray '" He then told all he did endure, Declar'd his wounds and ask'd a cure -Madam now cast a curious eye, To see if she must laugh or crv* And as a smile from Hearty broke. She turn'd the scuffle to a joke " No harm, I trust," she said, « is done, ^ Twas but a piece of Cupid's fun : That Urchin is a very pickle, And sometimes does his fancy tickle 'Mong lovers thus to make a pother, T' amuse himself and please his mother; But these vagaries when they're o'er Are laugh'd at and disturb no more." Hearty seiz'd Syntax by the hand. And said, " I here the culprit stand ; Nay, I must now your pardon beg, For bruised shin or wounded I- 1- '1 was by my awkwardness I own ^^' The clumsy screen was tumbled down • And for the ill that did attend You have a right to blame your friend: Bu my dear wife, a Doctcv she. In all domestic pharmacy Will try her utmost skill ar d care. Your awkward ini'ries to reoair ' And by to-morrow you shall lose All feeling of thi w^ov's shoes' But she, good Sir must be forgiven, For Chanty's the childof Heaven If we would calmly pass along, Nor tempt the jostling of the thron"" As in this crowded world we live, We must forget and must foigivS' You will by active duty teach The doctrines you to others prcfih: Nor fail to hold up to their yievv The lesson and th' example too To-morrow she shall make amends. When you shall kiss her and be friends." Syntax.—" Forgive her .? ave with all mv h^n..f For that is ev'ry Christian's part ' ' "' ' But no, I never shall forget The kicking I an. in her debt. A ^ 11. '''^^^''^'' OF CONSOLATION. ,« And all her kissincr I onno.p qt, > • , ^9 '-How with my mL e Tt Sj ou^Un'P''""^ *■>""'«•"">'■•»? said ' ' fnnot now pretend to know R f /■'[^'" ^" 'hat noisy rout Where half a s'core of AWs™ s Attack«m^'"'i ''5?'"'' ""«^h b™ow : Oh, how these furies did il' feat mf " Sd aT™suo?'T f'' P^"'' Do b,,. your Honour, see my head 5^°" '" " J^''^ ^eat me ! "To Anne or Susan^?„°'' '^^T ""= '^^^"^ 'aW. With brandrbalhrySo';^ ^ad's bruise" l"^''')'"'' ^'^ V"" -ay rely That never faJIs to aid the cte o'fi?^h f i""."^'"^"^'/" "^^ wnene er it comes, with gin or whisW So near my lips it makes them fnsky^' O what'anlcrrf' '' ^^""^ ^""^'"o^v, yunat an tch It has to swallow'" * « C^ZtT ''^^' '''^'" 'Sq^i'-e Hearty said Then tir^"'' >'""^, '^'^''^''^ head ^ ^ The Doctlr^on t l^^l7t^ '"^ °^ ^^ '^^^•" It was not that he suffcr'd min rlf i^""" ^?^" °<" thought betrav'd But calm reproaches playTr'ir Jrt i '"ll^^ '"^"^ at and dtdjin And when the 'Squire began to ch^n'' q !" the recesses of his heart ' I t],.ni. you for\our V^T\1"^'^%^,I'^}^''^ ^'^ serious air rephed! punishment. j,h.ve,not broke a moP^rdu'tr"' "In vfs.tf X^ -V punish^; 'vish trick ^Vhich niw I th "I „ ".'. ^T' ""^""-'y = scarce four months have drw? ',™^''^' "« ='* But still it was a bOv,,,, rnr-L- ..„ ■ ■ Though .a c" four Imh "h" ' i'''"'' ""'' "^^ When ™y i^:^i^^^^^^^ '"''• I sought,'as?s?alfn' -S"!;'^ ^"% '" ="' her glow of virtue died Whel; k""".'; '"=^' shade" fflhee Pfe Jh«/™I.with a coquette! WK " ,' ''"' ""nk how much I owVi T ,J '"^J-' 'amented Do?othy When by the fondest union known You bill "^?"'?" J""" "^"'"'^^d To'cSt mtd' T'^'V""^ wa^rb^o" |h.'"'^'^ ^^ '"^ »- If (W mydarhng from my thou<^ht ' In h^' ^a™^"ape which decks my head Could T.' °^"f '"'"'""•''' dead,^ ^*''' »-0UIa but snealf nrw.., >^ u ' , Of loud rep^oachesa't'm; fony"™" * """"^ Hearty " m„ f>.„_^ ^• Has Its next dai ---^v. .vi^xuacaes at my follv " run. 190 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Syntax.-" Think not, dear Sir, that I complain ^ Of what no longer gives mc pain : Pain s not the burthen of my song ; It is, that I've been doing wronir. I only wish to-morrow's morn May find no more the rankling thorn. Which, at this moment doth infest Ti 1, T ^^^^^ ^^^ ^^'^^"P P^"^^ "■'y conscious breast. 1 hough, If repentance could i)ut lull My grief for having play'd the fool, bhou d well wci-h'd hopes these thoughts beguile, lUMr T^ exclaini no more ; Soon will your friendly meal be o'er, f wflHnT^ ""^ ^- "^ '' '° ^PP'"'^ ^ 1«°^ "ot <■"!• a wink of rest I will into my caom creep, And there the widow's vigils keep Who broke my shins— and murders sleep." CANTO IV. A T^^i 1'"^r*^^^ children at the breast Will often cry themselves to rest • By taking o'er their cares till sleep Does on the weary senses cfeep Whi .i;7^ ? T^"" ^'"^ '' ''.* ^° ^'^ ^^''^^^ ^^'^ ^^^^ f»-ol'c in his head, TVipi ,-n :T ""'^-'^ ""?* to impart Some awkward feeling to his heart But flHn I Jnl'' '^ ^""P '^''^P'' ^'°^^ self-reproach?s to escape But all m vain his pleadings strove Th' accusing spirit to remove, Which charg'd his guilt as petty treason WTV, • As^mst the sov'reign power of reason, Whose justice by its mildest rule, Must set him down a harmless fool. -- Well,'- he exclaim'd, " no ill was meant : ^. , Law, rigid Law, looks to th' intent Of what we do ; and I protest. Were there a window in my breast The keenest eye I should not fear T' indulge its curious pryin^ there Vagaries may, perhaps, maintain Theirtrolic season in my bmin Nay I must own that folly's power Has thus enslav'd me foTan hour' And did my careless footing get Entangled in its gaudy net,' A scene that I shall ne'er forget. s / ^4 But while I dare, Heav'n knows 'tis true A J 11 -^^Pcse my naked heart to view. And call or friend or foe to pry Into my thoughts with busy eye ; Why need I toss and tumble here, ^ 3 * Oppress'd with doubt, alarm'd with fear ? ia° e''me"fo;gIi™th?re"pose°''''™' ^%Z}\j 'f embrace receive ; If mnrP hl.rirA xJ ^^PO^e, The folly of my fancied woes !" It more he spoke he never knew. As nature shed th' oblivious dew : 1 hen, list'ning to his humble prayer, hr.AAA. ,^'^'^ ^^^ ^^^^ curtain round his care, And did to sleep each sense incline, Till the cathedral clock struck nine. 1 lie bell was rung, when Pat appear'd, With hi, hthf liTJ" ;T£'V^!^. •"= '"^^i?.-- ^heer-d, , "" ""fut's-yn,;Wgraveirwav'd his ha"?d °'^ "^"^^ '''''''^^ •- An4 Patrick knQw the mute command, /A- SEARCir OF CONSOLA T/Olf. I'll D remove, For such a tale the Doctor's Mr w Nor ne'er did Pat feel s„?habalk F!fl"°'J-"'' ""'" P>-^P-->r'd to hear Nc er in his life o'er right or wrnn^ w r'"*" J"=' "'^n he wish'd to tS' But he was sent off to new ^k °'™fi' '" ? P"'"P' '" "ag h s to„„, e' Aiid all the honours to rSo f' ^''whi'?f,1, ='';"' "'», ■umpled^ g! Descended t^^i ", ^^ ^f And ^'^r™ f^-^' When'^r S'^Pf^^'d '^ «i4 to see "''"V^'' T'''"S ""^'"^ "'ere • When she deelar'd another day Would chase n'l"-"" "^^^ cliirurgery On°e sfdtl'at " ?■ 'iS'lv^'iltfre''"""^"^"'^^-'- Were ive not forc'd by me and IfP''"'*''^ Without teS^^^ We, withouftie?^ "l v.;'ifg"oTst"iJr ' 'Tittr "^'^ ^'^^ hec?"'-'^ "'^" "-'"' '0=- / ^vas a fine woman did the c]ppc1 ' I leave for curious pTnc/s eve ' '^^"^7'"^ grace, The breakfLtIuiT.d'a'n j'thetv *'^'" '^^""•'"" ">^n I- And at no very early houf """" #'«■ P™<=h were seen to wait • Fo &" ""f "^™"'d not afene fynta. proceeded on h s ?o iV For Hearty soon appear-d inView To " ^ ' *? ^'^'^ "f number one Was fotdVr P--'d his'^ lU'-^ P^'-'^ "-"- two^; n„„u:?.'",""'se her wish incIin'H ' M When ^^^Z:^;^^:i^±-;,^^^^ ^ . 19? THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAJ Thus they proceeded on their way, Sometimes were grave, and sometimes gay. — Madam, who rode with Dian's grace, Would dash into a cant'ring pace, And, as they cross'd a level plain, The Nimrod fair could not refVain From offermg to try her steed With Phillis in the way of speed • But whether Syntax had no skill In jockey's arts or check'd the wili Of his fleet mare, I cannot sav, But the fair Lady won the day " Well," said the Doctor, " thus you see What scope for my philosophy ! Men only now and then defeat me, But women, why they always beat me." —-Thus after saunt'ring on their way, Till the sun beam'd his noontide ray ; They stopp'd, and din'd, and said adieu, As all kind-hearted people do • And the York friends engag'd to make An autumn visit to the Lake. The Squire his wishes did impart From a full, open, honest heart ; The tear dropp'd dov/n from Madam's eye, The Doctor bless'd them with a sigh ; And all exclaim'd, Good bye ! Good bye ! Life, to reflecting minds 'tis known. Oft finds a just comparison In any journey that we make For bus'ness or for pleasure's sake. Indeed, in ev'ry point of view, Though 'tis not altogether new. Those who think right will find it true. •—The tranquil mcrn begins the day, No angry storm impedes the way: At length when the meridian sun Has half his daily circuit run, W:th crowds the high road's cover'd o'er j Some push behind, some run before, All by the same desire possest To gain a welcome state of rest. And if, by faVring fortune brought, We find the happiness we sought, btill we look on, with anxious eye. To the dark hour, when with a sigh We bid farewell and say. Good bye. Life's but a journey that we take, 'Tis but a visit that we make ; And when we part at close of day With the companions of our way : Whene'er our frien. isit's o'er We quit the hospitable door ; Our hearts .ne grateful words supply, We wish all well and say. Good bye. Such were the thoughts that m^ny a mile Did the good Doctoi-'s mind beguile : But, now and then, the widow's fray Would some unpleasant thoughts convey : He fear'd the story might be known, And form a fable for the town. Which busy Scandal, right or wrong. Might spread abroad with tattling tongue ; A furbish tale, whose lies would work Their way through ev'ry street in York, Or might a curious passage take. In tell-tale letter, to lie Lake. " -O sage Discretion !" he exclaim'd^ " By Classic Poet thou art nam'd The chief of Virtues !* Without the* ^« TJl-il- -_1- ciijia oaj^c X Xli.ObJpny, ♦Nullum Numen abest, si sit Prudentla. No, neve.-, never, never mofrWilf naCn^'""" °'''^^""S Heaven That mv be« n^ ■"• ' """'^ bring ti,?? f^'^-failing votary i And e^r^L^e'tcK^lrT" "'^ P-e'"^" '""" '" ^»'"'"'""' Where he p-^^p^ -d h! nthH' '''''' An hu^^vrd^ »-i ? v° s, Ii"t where the unas'sulning ^uesT'^'Sf^'^ ^^"'^ -• . . Wt^hfS',S'r^"'^-oK,-^^'-''S»-'o-.. A steak wcll-dress'd and h,/^fM""*'^ ^ i*e' The country papers-,h"e„ Kid*' ^TS^'''- ">« ^-™i„g.s re^.le Nor would he have urldos'd hlslyfs'"^ ''S""'" "™ '» "ed: When, as he\?e„^4^ g-S^-, ^.^^^^^^^^^^ And vulga. ^rTs^^^'-dToro'un?'^' "iS"?!;-^ '-^-^e heard fethfir"o1.'?'^ "f - ™'-' """^^ "''' P°"^' He op'd the casemt't td o";jfd%t'":^''Ve"'^'^'-- So 1 came m the po,,^ („ da" h^'AndVave'^h.""' '""^ '^'""'d -gain But all of them.'^from v."?i?!'?l'- «?>: "^neath : Taere nestle safe -^^^^^y^wZ-^:;^^^::^^o^^ h.d, '3 194 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And thus be doom'd to certain slaughter, Though ev'ry wretch should cry for quarter." The whimsy strange, the droll conceit, Was to the Sage a perfect treat, That sent him laughing to his bed, Where he again repos'd his head. A waggoner, in lively mood, Let loose his jokes where Patrick stood, An object which, none will deny, Might call forth rustic ribaldry. " I do advise you," said the clown, " To let the ostler rub you down ; And if his brush is well applied, 'Twill drive the vermin from your hide : But Where's the mighty cause for wonder, That Paddy should commit a blunder? For well I know by your glib tongue, To what fine country you belong. And if your red rag did not shew it. By your queer fancies I should know it." " — Hark you," said Pat, "your jokes on me, Might pass as harmless pleasantry ! But when you laugh at Ireland's name. You do, my friend, mistake your game, And you shall see, nay you shall rue, What a stout Irish Lad can do." — The word was follow'd by a blow Which laid the saucy rustic low, And when by rude Hibernian strength. The clown had mcasur'd all his length, Pat roU'd him onward round and round, 'Till he was sous'd into the pond. " A truce," said he, " to your grimaces, Ycu see we've only chang'd c ir places : But the same honest hands no doubt, That roll'd you in, shall pull you out. I'm not so easy to be fool'd. But since, I trust, your mirth is cool'd. To prove that I ne'er meant to harm you, I'll give you something that shall warm you. We'll take a morning glass as friends. And here our short-liv'd anger ends ; But first we will fresh clothes supply ; Nor take our whet, till we are dry. — Now as you drive your waggon on, Through different roads from town to town. Whene'er you meet a Paddy Whack, Think whose strength laid you on your back ; And though you felt his pow'rful arm, You also found his heart was warm." Nought happen'd now that's worth relating : At nine the horses were in waiting : The morning scene made Syntax gay, And smiling he pursued his way: But nought he heard or did appear ; That asks for a description here. Through the long day he travell'd on ; The night he pass'd at Warrington ; — Where his keen, philosophic eye Enjoy'd the highest luxury. For its superior skill display'd. By which all kinds of glass are made ; And where the traveller, inclin'd With curious heart t'enrich his mind, feet treat, his head, ick stood, : ribaldry, ou down ; u belong, '. can do." ustic low, is coord, 1 his way: tion here. St luxury, '" SEARCH OF CONSOLATION. ,„. W.II never fail to pass a day j The scene will well rew-r* hi- , faynta:: with eager impulse fraught * ""^ ''"y- Where each poli?ld;s?feisTh<;w!;'T„''"t°'r^™8'''' The Doetor did hLsdf p oeIaZ ' '^f"^ ''r, ?'",""' ''^'^"'^ k"<»vn. Nor did the Sage his fLcy bi k ' Tn ^ 1 "1 '''8"''^ '-""i ".-"ne Tha! glass rstt to dll.^t """"^ '^ '"^ '••'"'• But did not"c^Ce t ride''"°''''H''''" ' But soon broke for?h in ra^ o"s tone °" ' VoT'l'i ff' ''^"^ ^'PP"''' = ,, , K-stfteri^ir&i?!-^^^^^^^ Thev'd ho w '°"' 'i,'''^^' ^'°"ld Beauties do ! ' . .hey ^^^^pf^Sfl^^ :.,, ,, ,,„^, Alas ! Old England's not the clime, "^^ p„ o * Where maidens fair may pass their timp By a transparent fountain's sirln li^ss ineir tune 1 o make their toilettes by a river ' —Indeed it has not yet been shown Had it been so 1./ ' '?/r' "^""^^ ^lass is known : ytu u Dcen so, he would have trnH r»i ^ And temples to his name would rise As to^^T ^^ ^ Demigod, . To whom their useftirarts have gfven '''" '^^'"^"^^^^' «J?K i^!}^^'' ^^'^ Poet's Heaven : p;.i 1^^^' ^"^ exclaim'd, " it doth appear. WK ^' Glass-house is his temple here, ' Where Art and Commerce bSth combine In gratitude and praise to join." oyntax now wish'd to trv his Qtni t., r^ When ev'ry part was dulv fif/ori a a . ^"/^/^^^^g some neat utensil : The strict di?ectirs he oLv'd ' a '? ^^' ^'?-^ "^^ ^"^^ submitted Patrick too was prSar^d to hL A i""^ ^o'Tjething like a bottle made. But while h^Sd apply his art tT' '^° '\^'^* ^^" ^^^^ ^^^ know ; AAru- u ^ V , ^' -^ funny workman twitch'd t nar/ Which modish modesty would blame P^'^' So thn^ K proposed to guess the name : He scarce efe'^J^S ^Tftt^,, , , ,, .„.,^,,. --All were we pleas'd but Pat, who swore He never swallow'd f re ^"^'- -- And was glass blownby suct^'a whim, H., • • ^ "f y^^. ^^^°"^^ be blown by him. Having mcreas'd his stock and store Of various scientific lore, 13—2 i l| m 196 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX The Docter took his leave gay-hcartcd, And for his destin'd rout departed. His vyay towards Chester he pursued, And, with exploring thought reviewed The great exertions which \\ere made By human art, inspir'd by trade; And where improving science shows How much man's pregnant genius owes To Commerce, whose vast power extends E'en to the world's remotest ends, And in succession brings to view Whate'er the hands of man can do. Nature expects mankind should share, The duties of the public care ; Who's born for sloth ? To some we find The plough-share's annual task assign'd ; Some at the sounding anvil glow, Some the swift-gliding shuttle throw ; Some studious of the wind .md tide, From Pole to Pole our commerce guide ; Some, taught by industry, impart With hands and feet the works of art ; While some of genius more refin'd, _ With head and tongue assist mankind ; Each, aiming at one common end. Proves to the whole a needful friend. In ev'ry rank, or great or small, 'Tis Industry supports us all. Thus as he mus'd, kind chance bestow'd, Which sometimes happens on the road, A brisk companion, cheerful, gay, Form'd to amuse the loit'ring way. They first convers'd about the weather ; But as they trotted on together, More serious topics soon prevail. Nor did the lib'ral converse fail. Of Chester's city they talk'd o'er, The history in times of yore ; Its diff'rent changes they relate. And what compos'd its present state. The Doctor also wish'd to see What in its near vicinity. Might Reason's curious wish invite With the fair promise of delight. *' Oh ! Eaton-Hall," it was replied, " Is now become the country's pride; And pardon me, if I should say, A want of taste you will betray, If you should Cheshire leave nor see That scene of splendid dignity, Where, as all tongues around can tell, Rank, Opulence, and Virtue dwell : Whose noble owner all revere. Our constant toast, the Peerless Peer." Syntax.—" Much it delights me when I'm told Of those who highest stations hold. And, 'midst their grandeur when we view The highest rank of virtue too : Who all ignoble actions scorn, Whose conduct proves them nobly born And well maintain their ancient name, By virtue and unblemish'd fame : — But such who great and good combine, May claim a higher praise than mine. — The name, indeed, by birth descends, But Honour on themselves depends, The Coronet vvill never hide Presuming ignorance and pride. Learning by study must be won ; 'Twas ne'er entail'd from son to son ; •ns scorn, W SEARCH OF CO^SOLA riO.V. And thus the Doctor "rrrvel©r7e„d'lll7LM In this famy town I office bet, Niv w " ?' "^'^ ^'''J''^ ™d And I Shan ^J^^TS^ '-'bin At;r? ""'»-- ""c, Then readily Xy'y^oul-ca'^""'' ''"'"'^3 ^^ '" "^V"- ^uidc ; For much I wish to hear vou traw- Th , i, ? °",>'°" "> ^">on-JIall ■ I was not born in art to tmSg '" 1 "sll lTk^""""'"'u"'^P'-^« When sc.ent,fic men display^ ' Their kno "die nThar„l^'' "' J""^«= '„■'"'' """St Wll ing to receive 'I'lir. tM„rr„^ VY- , The morrow camf--thec,t;vicw'd ^Tol^i^'H^"'^^' *^°^ '^>« leave. Where the Sage trac'd with pryZ%o T^^^ That taste and skill and labour'd frt^ Had h v?c/m '^ ''"^ Pageantry When with fond admimion fraugh ^'^' ^ ""''' '^''y ^'^'l « Murh -/^f ,• u' ^'^P^'ess'd each rising thou-ht • ^^"^^\^:7^^T'^i^^^ -c. heroic deed, Which honour order'd to be worn a ^ i^', , But more it joys me then 'l ^ee,"' a'nTnastffi^' '^ 'T ""'»™- Fair virtue change its helmed face i.v5 ^ f ^^''Se of Chivah-y,) And all the fire of martial strife ' ^ v dd7n n" ''f'""'''^ S«« -Thus as I view the pictur'd wall Th' hil, ■ '^ chanties of life. I see //,. „L, wherrSessy^Vamf ™ ^'^^^ <" Eaton-IIall.- T, .7 . '^^^ splendour to a Grosv'nor's mmo 7-^^^///.;-, ,n a milder sound, Is heard from \ll' H I measure with admiring eye Tlu. .n'^iV" ^^'"^ ,*^°""try round. From the old time, when cvVy throne Did n 1 ''^'' ""^^ P-'^^^'^l by, When the stain;d sCrd aH respite Ipi^n^'^^ ^^''^-^ -- ^ And seldom to its sheath returned • ' When ceaseless battle strew'd the plain With mangled forms of thousands^ • And efforts of cnUending might ' But reason lyl^pll^^^^^^ ^^-ght. Lp;,m?„n. ^^^ foreign or domestic foe, "^^ snow ^^!tS^:S;V^^-i ''^S^rf^^ 'Remind. In these fair after-dayf! when p^eacf™" ' °""' '"« ' «™. ^xri, ^^^^i. "'° ^^^" waning a?e to cp-k^p ". When men prefer the joys of liome Tn' » Where honour doth its harvest v?eld nf ' '^ '/'^-^^ ^^^h to roam. When battle is reluctant souWul «.h?„' Sm'p1l^^">,~^^^^^ m Mt'sV 198 THE TOUR OP DOCTOR SYNTAX To save the land from foreign foes, Domestic tumults to oppose j In cv ry country to disown A tyrant pow'r, however shown And guard the freedom of our own. " But if I'm heard thu'^ to prefer Our present modes and character, You \\\ !l mi;, t a«<< ne why I praise Whnt bears . '^^ pe of othrr days, When arts, ol Annrn\ ( ^ he boast, Wev^ in the gloomy ages lost • And why we sec Uu puiacc n Like those a monkish time supplies ? Or rather why we Uo not see Palladia n arf and symmetry ) Why f;om the SOIid, snnplo base Springs not the column's attic grace ? Why trails not wuh a flowing ease The curling foliage o'er the frieze ? And chaste relic »0s lay before you : iome fancied or historic story ? Why rh;any a God and Goddess pure, Half given to v;''W and half obscure. Does not by son.e fam'd sculptoi-'s skill, The niche's well plac'd concave fill ? While urns, with well-wrought decoration, On ballustrades assume their station ; And festoons wave in flow'ry show. To grace the intervals below.— All this, good Sir, is pretty reas'ning, And to the subject gives a scas'ning j But my old taste and ancient pride Thus argues on the other side. I think that it should be the aim Of families of ancient name, Never from fash:on, to transfer Their long establish'd character ; Nor e er blot from th' historic eye. One page that tells their ancestry JJut still involve with modern state, Some figure of their ancient date. Ihat they whose grandsircs' honours shine In holy wars of Palestine • ^r, in the glitt'ring armour stccl'd, ' \ 7av'd the bright sword in Cressy's field, Should still with ancient pride adorn The mansions where their sires were born. And if old Time's destroying power Has shaken ancient hall or bower, Ihe new rais'd structure should dispense The style of old magnificence- The grandeur of a former age Should still the wond'ring eye engage,' And the last Heir be proud to raise A mansion as qi former days. The Hero helm'd or bearded Lord With warlike or with civil sword, Dar d foreign foes, or kept in awe Th' unruly by the power of law : But though w;th manners more refin'd. Which soften and enlarge the mind. The last successor clains the praise For virtue in these later days, btiU as his embow'd roofs he sees. And walls bedeck'd with traceries • Windows with rainbow colours bright. With many a fiincied symbol dight ; And when he views the turrets rise In bold irreo-ularitie ■ ■ He feels that no Coiinthian pile Would tell, though of the richest stylej That warriors, statesmen, learned sages. Had borne his name in former ages. While he, by ev'i-y virtue i: ■.. wn, Does honour to it in his own." With all the k\ <'ed Doctor said And the just th(/i*,-^t •> i,e h.'i display'd The Alderman was so delig The S'ge to dinner he invited, lis own.' W SMARCti Of CONSOLA Ttd^. 199 Who sometimes grave and sometimes gay. ■^The next it' v^rhi^'fot'lo r' '""'^'^T '""^ '^' And ere lyTol'ying ^^'^^ ^^^^" of Shrewsbury, He Ludlow reach'd, where he -epos'd And here perhaps, it might h^ lUught That Syntax" cXgtoTu'trior?^ '"^.^ \ . The deei and names" hat %^^^ ''"^^ ^^'' ^"^ ^'^ vr ^. n . • ^"'^ °"^'^ wadike, princcK town VV ould trace its anc ent pedigree wj ' r» The castle rais'd, whose Vu nf now vT^'" ?T): °^ Montgomery And ask the pencil ?o display "°^ ^^1° ^ir/ '' ^f -^ ^^'■^^^'j' ^^^^^ But no, thoughts of another kind Arouse nh"^ '^' proud decay. This was the scene where Milt^'^s piwe '""^^"^"^ '"'"^• wh. ivT ,^^^'^'^en'd the Dramatic hours, ^ Where Nobles and uir Dames arnvV t^ a ., The Magic scen?s!Vvv"o'cI and'^^^^ '''''^ "^'^'^^^^ wi,;i„ „ ,^^T ^°"^"^ ^°rl^'d his wicked sdcII And calm/y stretchfnrhim rir|"' '"m^^^TJI^^"'" "^ ?"«'«' Beneath the walls, where Milton' voTcc ""'"°''"" ^" «> . Had taught the echoes to rejoice ^o'^ptv^/^j^t-heic'l^n^sC... ^'^hSr^r^™"^ «s"- -- The painted hall, where grel^anl gJoll " •"""" >'^^" ''«<'' ^l^^Sia5^SSi?eedo.ea...™e. Felt an oblivious spirit creep O'er ht In 5 ^^'"^ I'''',''"^: time away, And how long he would there hivn In M t ^Z 'I"'''' ^"^ ^^^^ to sleep As by no pro?f it can be shotn Tn L 5'^/^'' '°'P'^ ^'^^^ betrayed -But Pat; who had his masrrmisJd S,1f "?k'^ '""^"'"^ ""^^"^^vn To take a stroll and play the scou ' pti l" ^a '"",°"' ^'^'^ ^^^'^t. In hopes |a[ he should' find h mtt'^' '""^ ^°""^ ^^°"^' When at his length he saw him laid, H;,d nnf fi, ^9^1(1 have thought that he were dcid Had not the music of his nose Made known Ti? 5. And his rude hands began to shake him ' The Doctor rose with wild surprise, i-irst shook his head, then mhhM i^L ^ And several minutes pass'd, befoif" Reflect on dfd\j. His mouth gap'd wide, a sigh he fetched '""'" ''''^'"• In various forms his arms he stretch'd, Jte^l^^tL^^PA^fi'^^^d at Ludjow „ . _ i' ' J- I ! I i I ii i _. L. Wm-sissmi 200 T//E TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And when he felt himself awake «T K ,"?'^";'':'^^^^ scene, and thus he spake: Untn"? M,U^J"'r ""P"^'' T''\'' °^' ^^'-^^^ thought, but never provU Until I Milton s Comus read Beneath the walll where it was bred • Thus would you woo the Muse of Gray, ' It should be by the church-yard way. Say, do you seek to charm the time, In chaunting /^d7/^'j« melodious rhyme, Go wander 'midst the forest groves ^Vhich the chaste muse of Windsor loves: Or would you fee dramatic rage In pondering over S/mJi'es/>eare's naire You should pursue th' awak'ning tlieme "''''^'^^''^^^ P^^e, rxru T- ^^^ ^^^ ^^^^" ^^^^^ of Avon's stream. ' TiT .T '"''' ^""-^ declining light Hasyieldedto the shades of nieht Then the more pensive hours prolong O'er the inspired verse of Iw' Poei and S(7/;i/, to whom were given ^ '^^^^ ^ onng, TD . • 1 \^^^f- f^^^^"^ "^"^es "f ^-arth and Heaven." Patrick, who did not feel the fuss, His master made with Pep-n.„<: Nor what his active brain was brewing Upon a bank Ind " ath a^rSn^ Conducted him with wond'ring grin * And brought him mutt'ring to the inn —Whether it happen'd that the ground . ^Y^e^e Syntax lay in sleep profound, Was moist with dew or sunny ray Did an unwholesome heat convey. It was not long ere he complain'd «■ v^uuvcy, \\n M A 11 !?•' ^^^^^ his arms and back were pain'd : While a dull, dizzy something shed Its drowsy influence o'er his head • But when a shiv'ring fit came on, ' A.,^ p . "^ *^°"i)^.^ that something must be done. And Pat was sent off in a trice To bring at once the best advice 1 he Doctor came with solemn face, And heard^he patient state his case; His hand was felt, the pulse beat high, * The tongue was pale, the mouth was dry : When Galen spoke, " Upon my word A grievous cold has been incurr'd • But gentle sweats I trust will cure The fev'rish heats which vou enduvp An ague threatens, but I hope A mild nnke w li h 11 J ^"^uie. A most precipitate attack ^^ Dls^uM^r g o^'o' tt'b c? \ Bu a strong simulating plaister Will rid you soon of that disf 4' A bed, good Sir, I recommend To aid th' effects whiJh I ntend ^Sf:?.,??:^"^^ ^'^^"^i I,«hall begin Just to prepare the way w?t5^^: 1 ne powders sent will then restore When perspiration may return, I will another visit pay, But ere the Doctor came again And now was added to the rest Bleeding he therefore must apply The native fluids to each pore, And the dry skin no longer burn. And see you at the close of day." Poor Syntax felt increase of pain : An inflammation of the breast : As a specific remedy. Galen the pointed lancet drew ; Tlie vein was picrc'd, liie blood out flew. While the brain teem'd with fancies light Inrough the slow progress of the night. IN SEARCH OP CONSOLATION, If I:, .r ?' ^''' ^^^'^^ ^^J^e no more At length the pains forsook his head ?nH tf ^°"^"'^ ;"°^" ^^ left hS bed ' And thus employ'd his well known nowor .Sf:s:'"^-j-p--^i-r?^^^"^ 2Ui Al^J^y^'c^Law, Divinity ; To be obechent to his call AI^^^ I r"" "'V'^'^ ^ possess : Fro i PP^''^' ''y doctor's bill. Ere on myjourney I proceed I he hbVal callings all agree And he who can combine them all i^JViNHY J may profess; ?,^,f f ^^rc I have got m; fill And I shall then by legal deed Vm '''"■' "^ — ^^or s on With grave as well as just content M.l-f' f '">" journey I proceec For once, at least, theil I shalfbe'' """^L^ ^Z^ ^^^ tesLmem : --A Lawyer now was to be found •''' ^""^ Divinity." Aiid Where's the spot of British ground iliat such a spreading plant will grow Theattornetcfm\^ffi^/u?e"^:^^^^^^ ,. . ;--As Sir, fhe pSrbd is ^^tnl^^ '" ""^'-"^^-"^ ^^-^ve. That shuts '^^t^:^tlS^ 't' ^"^^--^ He has a duty to fulfil, ^ '*'^\ "f J^ys, or casualties of life ■ And on my prudence 'tis a blot tw"t ???' ^° "^^^'^'^ ^is will ] Cut Heaven has jusj now pleas'd to iivJ' "^ ^'''^' ^^^^^^• And that ^^'^^tj^:;:. i^hi^^ Then thus o,v'Sl' P^^^'-^P^, jeast think about it • ^' r^'^^1^^^2^'^^1^^:^ ^Y P-^P-^ of my will. And then, in order due, proceed ' 'to ' "' ^°'"? '-^"^ legal mode ; My Soul I give to him who gave T'' '' "'^^"^"^^'^ ^''^' ' As for my b^ody^^^rt^""^ %^? ^ -- it. For any .^^^^^ ^^^iS^ ^^^"^^ ^^ ^^^^ I ask that pardon to be given ^ "°' ''^"'^mber one,) -And by thTs'w 1 It^^S 'X^f ^T" H^.->ven. In soMe neat nseftd p'fecfoTSe^ t',^/?„1p.?.-!? "^X be expended '"7 ^"^^ '^>' inquire Hearty view'd "^a'J'o"' '^ ,"/^'^'-'^^'i''d decorate, -And as I cannot name a foe^ ^' if,'"^^" "^^'^ ^^ gratitude: Unless a certain widow's breast ctuV'm f "o pardon to bestow, My friend 'Squire Hearty kn 'ws'tlfe re^ ; "^"^^>' P^^-^^ i' ' 202 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SY^fTAX II I If so,--I ask the 'Squire to buy A ring or tonish fantasy. And to the Widow Hopeful give it, If she will with good grace receive it ; But both as to the mode and measure, ^ I leave it to the said 'Squire's pleasure ; And my executor will pay What he demands without delay My books I give unto my friend The learn'd and Rev'rend Doctor Bend : And when he dies, that store of k:7owledge He will bequeath unto his college. To which, we both must own, we owe The better part of all we know. To the wise Fund that's rais'd in aid Of those who in the writing trade, Although they empty all their skulls, Obtain but scanty bellyfuUs I give two hundred pounds, and wish ' I could throw more into the dish. —Ah ! no one better knows than me The toil and painful drudgery Of those, whose fortune 'tis to rule With birchen rod the thankless school ! And shameful 'tis when they're bereft Of due support, and often left On casual bounty to assuage The sorrows of neglected age • Though they by whom the mind's endued ' With earliest thoughts of what is good ; They who the inlant nation rear. Demand the full-grown nation's care. Three hundred pounds I leave to be My mite thrown in their treasury Who form'd the gen'rous scheme to aid, The schoolmaster's ungrateful trade." He gave his psalm-book to the singers, Nor did forget the parish ringers : The clerk, the sexton, and the poor, Had some kind portion of his store. To the Divme, who should succeed The flock which he had fed, to feed He gave his gown, his scarf, and cassock, ' And to his wife, dear Dolly's hassock. At length the residue he left, When he should be of life bereft Unto 'Squire Worthy's free controul, ■ To whom, indeed, he ow'd the whole. The Doctor came to bring his bill, And was a witness to the will — Thus, havmg aone this solemn deed, Syntax did on his way proceed CANTO V. Some I have known, who did not dare To make their wills from very fear • Alarm'd lest the dread hand of fate Should on the ceremony wait • But Syntax, we must ne'er suppose Was govern'd by such whims as those. He knew that all life's seasons tend To bring us nearer to our end • By good alone that vve're prepar'd. To gain our last, our great reward • To man the boon of life was given. 'Twas here he let the matter rest, Of no untimely fear possest, /^ SEARCH OP CONSOLA TWK Thougli grumbling at the Dorfor'c wu °^ 0. a. he o„,4&,^ - -^^ ^, Whe^Herhe eaH,™. or ,a.e : Suffice It when four days were nas, ^" "'S"" ^ "bode ; And as the l^^t^2^, ?™ ^e^cajnTaS : |h^e-oS:?i^l';tt-^^^^^^^^ Each cunous scene that me^his eye, Vi n?ore fci^^I '^^^l"^ ^'"i^"- So much theVie d'or'KdmiJd' P'one to reason. He had determine to rehearse Hi ° ■ '''" """n'' I>™, that insn.Vd And much indeed we mustlament ' 'Th^rhl"""*').*^ in L^ric ve? e r/'.« something very like a rfo? A^^ ^. '?•" '^°"'d '" his intent' Which such a Muse as his reau U T ?^° .? ^'s^mpose the quiet In Bath's fine city 'tis weU Cl T,° ?° *''^' ''^ =<> much deS ^wffi;|Ytaoco„;™^?s-cs^^ B, M, ^'!i''l''^"'^« -^""'d lend an ear But soon a ^S^JS^^S^^f;]^^ -A woman stood beside he;cbor" ' ""^^ '" '"* """'S- indeed hehJ':!Jo:r,f&et'-\l^^^^^^^^^^^ -aim'd,IS=H?--~'^^-' Who I had thou'ghf aTd hoyd tcke^ ^ '"'^'"''»"' ' P™'"^ riad long- been dnnmM +i,^ JJi<-icca Vot, kno^, ^SS ?aTcalfht ;o°uTft mf'^ ' And now the officeVs of pe^ce ' "'"' ' ApSd'^M''' ?"f ''^d "ows : . » „ . -appear d to make the riot ceas? 204 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And force ^^^^^f ^Jj'^^ J^^^ complaints before the Mayor. 1 ne Mayoi m chair of office seated, Axn r, . .^,^sir'd the grievanLe might be stated. -n ^no f "'^ ^'^^ ^ '^'^' ^^ "^^g^^t «^"d For Doctor Svntax to attend Ihe Doctor came, surpr s'd to <;pp p^«^ n * • ^'"J^^ ^° auena. Nor could L weirdivfne the cau^ ^'' '" ^'*^" P"?''"'^ = 1 hat made him hostile to the laws • The chairman said, " my honest story." He struck '^^^^^^^^^A.a^...^,„^,„,,,^, „, ,„.^ Of which I now can shew the scars in^S TiSZ'Sl l^Ze youth AT^^'rVTr"' 'f' ^^ "'"- ' I might strike first, it may be true But thnf t 1,^^ , • i,. . j When he declared, I think he slore ' ' ^'^ ' "^^' ^° ^° ' That my wife Madge was his before » It was not me," said Pat, " 'od rot it n . .1 1 7^^ ^? ^°P^^ s^^^ h^d forgot it ; But, thoughtless what she was about She b-ihl-,1^.1 fUof But if your worship will but swe-ir ^Alf '^^^^i '^^at same secret out. She win inform yoS aU tha pist Yo3 Hnn^^" ^^/^^ ^'^P^^ *^^^^' « T-u pdst, Your Honour, yes, from first to la<;t " wl^\r"i^" 'P^^^'" '^^^ Worship said, '''"'^"^^*°^^^t- f Ac T 1 yt'T, ^""'Pi^ curtsied and obey'd - ' As I hope kindly to be heard Pati-Jri- .,i»^ i Vet I abus'd him in my ^^^y And th\? T ' '^^^^ ^''^ ^"^'^ ^^''^ '' I married Patrick it is true ' ^""t ^ r'' ^'°"^^'^ °" *^^ ^^y- But not till Pat had been awav Fn,- f;„« i ^ married Donald too ; And may it not be truly said^ ^iIIT ^^T ^"1^"^ ^^"^ ^ay ! But what's more st an|e I have to tcll ? hn "" "^ I'-'S '^'?'^ ^^"^ ^^^^ ? Nay he's the first of ail the thrpV T^fl k ^ "" ^^"''^' ^^^^eand well ; And when he'd been four y^^^^^^^^ Wh?fl.P'''f ^ ""^ ^ ^' ^^ '^^ '' Your Worships now may taSv wo^;^ \r f " ^,"^^^"ed Pat I say ; So these TWO^iONES^^N areC Fro- - '?^-''^f at Waterfo/d. -ni trust once more the st^oi^y t^'rd 17. ^^^l^^^ll^^::^^-: Here It may make you gentry stare, ^^'"• But these things sometimes happen there • Without such helps, indeed, 'tis true, ' TT,- J"^ '^^"^^. '"'^ helpless women do ! — riiese men fly off, with ev'rv wind AnH i«n,,^ n t fef - these tL^i^g bots'f^? r:f ^^°- ^^^-^ ^ What harm, if others chuse to take us I ' Though ne'er your Honour did I do it But when the Priest put his word to it' caiiiing', no not I m i Nay, were I to be whipp'd to Lon^do'nf"' '""'""'^ "> '"^^^^^ ' These things are done, and can't be undone ; X liEve no leaiiiing, no not i IN SEAIiCH OF CONSOLA TWI7. Vnin- Tj^ ,*= '"^> J "1 content Here Sv^n/ "^'^^^^^'^^ ^'^'^ hJuPree" « Whh vrr^"" wJnsper'd to the U^yov • T ri i^^"]'"^. permission, if I dare * i would adv se thnf f^,•o^.* ' Should be thrown 1 ""\^trange scene I. must be better to cental &"' -3.be3e:S^Sa:^'^,f-= B"t U appear-d his fate to-dav ;rhe papers and to take his tea' So far from finding social quit ^t, "^ ™'=°V"'er'd with a fray The angry mistress at the Z' Was tri^nT/''"'^ ™^ '" ^ riot J Ind S' 7 *^,1~^ waT?hro"r^ '""'"=' '"^ ^" ^ V^ces spoklt'^w'^ ir/4-*'^.^™bIed^ -Two heroes by their wine insnt'd ' wl f ""= '^^bols of a battle The one m tented fields had St T'„^ l''^ ^" '"^"'^^''^ glory firtl And now were eager to contest WhoLSf''^'' "?™' ■"'"""^ sough? : Which higher service did afford The% 'iT P™f«?i°n was the be" •' When their calm Zt'I^^ slon^^J' "'^ ^^'^''^ ^word ! One of the Sife-fe-fw-af/ood'"' 'Hrea^ingLws. A3Synta.e^nt£S-S;%.^»^^^^ gad } 'r ^^' ''d ■^afeV'ot^feer A^Vralh'f °"^ ™'''^ he heard : Had I two hands," it was reolied " r ,'J' ' '"^'^ ■>«' to conceal ■" But lay you level ok the floorOr 'ass vrouiT' fi'' "^^ "'"^ ^'fi v'-s reveal'd • The kennel's discipline afdrule ThatSfl""'?/" '^' '=''"^'> belong Tl.ese various branches, nay, to short wi.l;.'''''",'"^ '"'''"" ^'^''ool Was all that had his tirne eSo ov^ A n,M *"'u'' J'^'f '" "> n'ral sport From his first'^n^nSd \o ^he hour'"' '^'^^^"'^ "^ ''^°y^. D^ove SyntTxf ^rstS'Ig^'chrce'tSle^" ^''^'^-^ M tL"^7 ^ '''^^'■-"de'^anchi;^' c^-r''"'^'' "°^^''^ Withmany°a'tu'srtlrSo?o?:it?' . While tablets tol^ SeTAlr™'' '""^"^ ^^^""dbore, Good Syntalf So^i^l^rcLr"';^"" ^T'- -He made his^boVs disclo^s'd h.'^^^" ^^ *"" "''^' '» '^'^ His dignity and whence he came ' Desii^dTeVo.'!" ^f-"^°^'o,mds : I,/or those moments, lose mV pain"' ""X'^i'/^r^' my vigour spent ; '1.S true, i„^,eaps ,Ve da...c, offi, -T^Jft^^fZ^^;^ W ^nank Heaven, IVe savVl m,, k,^i. "^ "^^*'' Which m, rmiSSb";., .i" ,"" V", »" !■«■ ■« «.« Wn, That fix me m this gouty seat \\7\ -It "* "*^ '" tnis eoul ■Yrn'^r,L"l-°KL- • ^PP-i,. aW - r -^ '- '"-•"« here Twas not my age of hunting p.W, vv men AX7u^- ^«;t-wine and that alone Which brought those wretched symptoms on ?i!'f k"5^ ^^^ pleasures of the day^ """• But the libaTionl ofth.7,.1if '^^'■"^^tr^f ^^ Now of this mansion takerview, ^' "'Xn. Do"f '""H r^'' P^'^'^^' Could it be gaug'd and fill'd wttS'liqu'o?'' ' '^'^^^ '' ^'■"^' Whate'er of'^v^nf itTn^^^^oS^^ "^^'^ -Philoso^ranrrge g^a^^^ t^^^ ^^ ^'^ -^ o'er again. Enforc'd it fsTcert^n'^ir'"'"^ ""^f *^^T P^' That some prime feeling dotL pTesfde '"^ '^' ^""'"^ ''^°°^' Or nV].f n. " '^'^ '''^"'^ bo^o'^ '-^s his guide ^^rZ:S-J^-^y^-^ ^^- P-; - and af^ectionsmove : While many^akeCdevious way^'" ''''' ^"^^^"^^^^ ^^ar, And scarce know how ,r where they strav • • But I ne'er thought of moving higher ^ * Than a plain hunting country squire And you will think perhaps myl",?' Has been content with vulgar fame To ride the best and drink the most • T^ P'.lf S^^ ?°""^' ^^^th matchless grace And wTi.n I ^^ ^^^ ^^^^^' o^ t^e chace, ^ ^' W4t witlTn^^ Sfdy'Lt^^ ?o.:ri "V"^^^-^ ^--^^ ^^e table, Laugh at a m'& whSmpti^t^or^^^^^^^^ '^ "^^ ^^^ Nor feel a head-ache on the morrow ' Rnl'f'nT,^''^'"^' P^^^^Ps »^ay flout it, i3ut still I love to talk al^n„f jj ^ ' And sometiines too my neighbours join • I feel at len^th^lVr^^^^'ruer 't" ^!^T ^r-uT^ine, gtn tis very cruel To pledge their toasts in water-gruel." 14 ' J I liiii J flie THE TOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX li Syntax.—" Let then your water-grucl season Awake the slumb'ring power of reason ! You think on pleasures but in vain, Pleasures you ne'er can know acrain . Arm then your breast against the fall Which, soon or late, awaits us aU : ihe chase of life will soon be past, And Death will earth us all at last." NIMROD.— " You are a scholar and can tell Whether I reason ill or well ; But, you must know, Tve often thought, '^^^^ ^^^"'^^ ^^^^ Classic poets taught. And all their fabling fancy yields Of Styk and the Elysian fields. Was not lU-suited to engage " The hopes of such an early age And novy, when rightly understood. Is no mean motive to be good Where virtuous spirits might enjoy Without an end, without alloy Whatever was their prime delight. Before they pass'd the -hades of night. —If I remember vvell, we read Heroes enjoy'd heroic deed : Bards did their fav'rite themes rehearse In raptures of immortal verse ; While there the hunters could pursue, The game for ever in their view. Elysian horses ne'er would halt, Elysian hounds ne'er be at fault And neither wanted corn or care. For there of course they liv'd on air While on those helds forbid to roam. The Poacher Death could never come." Syntax.—" I thank you 'Squire for the treat Of this same classical conceit : But sure I am it ^yould not do ; It could not be a Heaven for yon. Fo? f^vir'^ with immortal skill Elysian hounds could never Id For foxes there would never die. But run to all eternity :' And as they would not lose their breath, T .„. ^°" ^^'c*" ^^"^'1 t)e in at the death. -I willingly allow the fame Due to the Greek and Roman name, But to their genms 'twas not given ixr r ,-• -^'^^^ ^° conceive the Christian's Heaven. We of this age alone can see The form of Immortality, 1 hat's fashion'd to a higher sphere. When this our world shall disappear : On that alone our hopes should rest. For be asstir'd-it is the best : And when from hence fate bids you go I trust that yon will find it so. -I ve spoke the language of my heart,- So now permit me to depart The storm is past, the show'rs are flown. And I must hasten to be gone." The NJmrods press'd a longer stay, But Syntax wish'd to be away. As he continued his career, ^ May it nm'mher rtn'ge'aS That What so .ate.^.et^h.s _e,e ^^^^_Dicl „„t his prosing tong'4 s^rp?.' One might expect his usual style Would have proceeded many a mile, )man name, t^ SEAKCU OF CONSOLA TlOlf. , When we reflect where he had been, wr,-,* A 11 -^ ^ strange mortal he had seen What droll opin bns he had hcirrl vvi, f 'n AH that he saw at Nimrod ifaS . ""^ "'"i^'^ c\.:ir^atx pref. ; But so it was, the busy train ""''"^ ^""^ '° °"fi* • Were not p^rnJi^S; tt noi s" ^"^^^ '''^^ To be by calm digestion vvroS Tm.'""' °^ ''^^"'"' ^'^"^ of boys, For no one did they overtlke^ ' Wh.^i^!"'''''^' systematic thought Not one upon the highway side Wh. /' "°' '"'^ ^''''^^'''' ^'^^^ Had prov'd to Patrick so bewitching That he ne'er saw the Sportsmen's tricks. AFox'sbru^b^wl^o'frTg"^^^^^^ , . Nor did this sel/same'gent,y fail Jo dtf Pa'^'s'Tho^^IH''"^^^-';^ "'^ ' Which, as he trotted on his vvay. O'er his hrn.HK 'r"^"^^'^ '''^^ '^^ail A well-dress'd ho'r^eSan pa'sstgl ''^' '''''''''' ^° P^'^^' Suffe^d the^;SyTo b^|u1r^^Su^^ . But when the quesLn P?t obey'd, wLTe he'v' hlf tho^'fr "^- ^"^"^ ' h"J'/ iST-^ ^" rath'er dubbis fash'ion,^ '''^'^'^^ ^'^'^ P^'^' Had told his master's rank and station ; The trick was in harsh terms reprov'd, Wh.f .f 11 "^ ?T *^^ Doctor's head reniov'd What of all symbols least became His well known character .n^ Tho. • /°' '?°" ^<^ by his language shovv'd ^"""^ "^""^ ' I^ffi^^^i;;^ ^--^ ^f- ?^ Jt to Which justice ow'd :;-! know?£ place wheTe' rra^e^b^eeT^ ^"^'^^^^ ^^-- Where civil'iilL'nrdVn'rd^' '' '' t^^r . Where hospitality, the boast ^^^"^ Of tl4e mS"? ^^.^^^^^ '^ ^^'^" ' And chang'd from welcoSe'slr^l ng'^ufer""^ "^'"^ " '''' Nav RevW c?''^ '°"* ^"^ ^'""^en riot. ^ ^ BeJdetl^pJ^cJ;?P^S toT" ^a^'e^erXi? ^^^^ ^^^ gainst whom their' coward spirl^tSgh ' '" ^"^' " ^^^"' 'Tis well ind'iedX'ru^^S bv^"^' '^ ^T^^^' An humble layman, S^r,y^usee ^ ^'^ f k' T'^ f°"^ ^"^'g^'ty- When play'd to rid cule the band Wi ^ ?i?^^ ^""'^ ^^^^ ^^^^^ry. Is not mere folly in excess T^^'? ^^ ^^5 '^^/^^ ^^tar stand -Fm no fanatic who believe """' "^°'' '^''^'^^ wickedness! M. ,^,T,. i^.IrA'^^J^.^^s born to mourn and ^rievo -. Which^;^n£^^?;y;^J« ^^ S''}^^'^ ^" the happiness And if we look and seek for more wif^''"^''' ^' imperfect creature ; sc^K lor more, Why, we must stay till life is o'er! 14—2 fl; , f tl "Ml m ai9 Titn TOUR OF DOCTOR SVIfTAX But reason weighs the allotted measure Of honest joy and wholesome pleasure. Wc, Sir, who in the country live, Seek joys which hills and valleys ffive. 'lis not the nerves alone, we find The chacc invigorates the mind. I am a sportsman too, but I To social friends the joys supply Of courteous hospitality ; While frequent pleasure opes the door To comfort and assist the poor Nor is It less whene'er I wait And to the prophet ope the gate. Which, as wc now our way pursue. Will soon be open'd wide to you." Syntax charm'd with his highway friend Well pleas'd did on his steps attend, Till a fair mansion lose to view, Where he found all he wish'd for true He now was m his utmost glory, The ladies listened to his story \ Nor did his lively spirits fail In varnishing each pleasant tale. 7 he fiddle tun d forth many a jig, While he the fortunes of his wi? Did to some lively tune rehearse In ditties of heroic verse. Ihen followed a bravura scene Of Hearty's tricks behind the screen • And as the misses did implore it ' The widow's frights and fears before it. The laugh was loud, but no one thought 'Twas with a painful image fraught, Not one faint glimm'ring of ill-nature Was cast upon a human creature ; While to the insult lately shown Pity and prayer were given alone. Thus, in kind, unremitting mirth, To which each pleasing thought gave birth, The cheerful evening swiftly flies, Till midnight took them by surprise : When the delighted Doctor said, " See how your kindness is repaid. For when with virtue's friends I stay. And pass the happy time away, 'Tis thus I preach, 'tis thus I pray. For unto virtue it is given, To laugh and sing and go to Heaven." Each bade good night, and went to bed. Nor fear'd the morrow's aching head. The morrow came, with smiling faces The ladies rivall'd all the graces : Nor fail'd to press the sage to stay And charm them through another day. When he replied :— " Indeed I grieve To say that I must take my leave." " If," said the 'Squire, " it must be so, Lend me your ear before you go : That I a sportsman's life, (for mine Doth all its characters combine ) May prove, in ev'ry sense endued With what is virtuous, what is good As any other that we scan In the long history of man' I wish, m short, to wipe away The foul disgust of yesterday.' Which may have prey'd upon your mind, From the rude crew with whom you din'd ; And that no future fears may wait In ent'ring at a sportsman's gate --I keep stout hunters for the chase, I breed my coursers for the race ; rve hounds wiio form a glorious cry, And Reynard's subtle tricks defy •' My neighbours at my board I see With cheerful face and festive glee* IN SHARCrr OF CONSOLA TION. «'3 d valleys pnve. Ucs the mind. IS hospitality ; ssist tne poor, ope the gate, wide to you." ish'd for true. to his story ; pleasant tale, les of his wig heroic verse, i the screen ; given alone. by surprise : ;ss is repaid, thus I pray, to Heaven." 'S combine,) hat is good, ory of man. f yesterday. iman's gate. )r the race : tricks defy : festive glee, But temp'rance takes the master's chair, And gluttony is never there Such the delights my fortune gives, ^ *^^* And Heaven my gratitude receives ; While in his life wc daily see "^'^"^ S.'"''' "»'« 'fmed are j When in 'j^^'^.^^^h!X^^^^ ^^ Directs to H. av( n and leads the way : ^^"^^^ His calling ho doth not disgrace, Enjoy your sports and go to Heaven." ' A„^ . J- I 1- °^^' ^"^''' "^^^"y ^ farewell greeting. When as they thus approach'd a town ^ "^' Which is to western trav'ller known They were saluted by a noise, Form'd by a ^rowd of men and boys While female voices join'd the rattle • ^^' .^"t whether it was peace or battle ' Did not with certainty appear, Till the strange cavalcade drew ne.r To^'n^.if'T' ^S^ post-horns first combinU ''' "'^'• 1 o aid the din which came behind. With sounding pans of ev'ry shape AX'u-i t. , "^ chords of most discordant scraoe • ^hile shaken pebbles made a stir In manv . T.nll. Brought up with sounding marrivv-bones. 1 ue rude procession follow'd after w,-fK I,- 1. ^'^^"g" avenues of roaring laughter • With which the crowd that lin'd the street lYuUW.. o-. "Such a strange show I nX hFve sein^?^ ''''^^ Patrick V. ^''*^'' exclaim'd, " what can it mean .? ' i'atrick, you may perchance explain The hkVw «f *t,- "Please you," Pat aLw"er'd, ^'Yc^nlll °' ""' "°'^^ "■'""•" Vr. ^x. , "^^ *^^°"^ bus'ness mighty well • For there's no place I ever saw, Where* this i. nnf .1,0 • 1, , Though not with all fh,« b^«, Jr.A ...t,.!: t.^ ^^'^ '? "^^ the parish law : Of wearing what I mrst not name, 2X4 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX 1 i Though I must own that my tongue itches To say, when she doth wear the breeches ; And the poor fool dare not resist The terrors of her threat'ning fist : Then, thus your Rcv'rence, as you see. With froUcsome festivity, The jovial neighbours celebrate The downfall of a hen-peck'd mate." ■—Thus as he spoke, the noisy throng In due disorder pass'd along, Wide antlers which had whilom grac'd A stag's bold brow, on pitchforks plac'd, The roaring, dancing bumpkins show, And the white smickets wave below, While, suited to the rustic manners. The petticoats appear'd as banners, — A slow-pac'd donkey's seen to bear Plac'd back to back the hostile pair, "Who there display the angry mood That forms the gamesome interlude* While horned honours deck his brow. She does bespatter him below With what a ladle can bestow, Whose foul contents, for very shame. The modest Muse would blush to name, Her big fist gave its frequent blows, Which he receiv'd nor durst oppose. But with loud cries and humble suit, To cease at length to play the brute. Then on a tumbril in the rear A kind of mash-tub did appear, Whence a rude hand that scarce was seen, Envelop'd in thick branches green, Scatter'd among the gaping swains Some filthy flood mix'd up with grai .s, Which, to the right and left bestow'd In such nice splashes on the crowd That with a well-aim'djerk, forsooth, It might fill up some laughei-'s mouth, —A female, whose virago form Was figur'd to direct the storm, On a three-fold broom-stick saddled. Was arm'd with eggs both fresh and addled, Which 'mid the crowd's applausive cheers, Beplaster'd noses, eyes and ears. Thus as they pass'd, the noisy rout Enlarg'd their throats with clam'rous shout. Philhs, erecting either ear. Began to prance and kick and rear ; And whether Syntax would or no, Dash'd in the midst of all the show, With peril of an overthrow : While Pat, with threat'ning air bestrode Fat Punch amid the bawling crowd. But some foul hand an Qg'g let fly That hit him boldly on the eye. And streaming down his cheeks besmear'd With foetid yolk his sandy beard ; While grains by ample handfulls pour O'er Syntax in a noisome shower. Who, fearing worse from active fray. With quicken'd pace pursued his way, -A^Jii^^'"''""''"^'-^'''**'^ is call'd ^Skimm.ngton, and is common in many parts Of England I ^^^ ^E^RCH OF CONSOLATION. 2IC And, having pa3s;d the hooting street, Found in an inn a safe retreat Tnff il^°"^^ ^y noisome smell o'erpower'd To freshness he was quickly scower^d • ' But not till h^hinsd? 1 aS^^^^^^^ "''s^ub^'.'^?-' . Syntax n^adecS, in arnv'cha fsVa^^^^^^ ^-^^"^-^• Was by the landlord humbly greeted ' With sorrow, that the country-folk Tint 'fvxr.c . ^ ^^y^ annoy'd him with their ioke "But if,- he siid, " you \v Ih to know Til '""m^ ^'^^^ ^^^'^ ^^i^es.' Or any other branch of knowledP^Th-,. Jly, •''^fJ "'^"/^ °^ ^^^ ^how, pur Curate will, I doi%t norfoif v °^^^^?" ^l^ school or college Nor fail to aid y'ou in tKcldn" Of ' '°''^^ ^^^^ °^ ^^'^^^"^ ^ine Of middle age he his e ? ^o u? ^"'l' asparagus and chicken And thus of late he has the name IvVf^^' ^^"^ -'^^ "^ ^g^^e, With wiiich%tgri; of our cilf '"°"" " ^^^^^^^^ ^--: •Tis taken from'^h^nf') "^ this learned man to dub. Q« 1-1 • ^ °" ^^ s^e the learned, rev'rcnd ^^toy. "^ ' He'U soon b^l^k l^-'P-' - -™ "" °"''"^' "'""^"''• indeed, It rather seems to please him." In Tm ?;," '°'''''™P°'=""' ^y""" seen, In a 1 the pc.its where he has been. Must know h.s heart is chiefly bent But still his^anf; oft^^eS'e^""' ^'^^^'^ \ , , And tL_r^h;hfstoks demurltr^lSfei""^'"^"^ "^ '''^ J"'^^' Andherehe"eVtL\U'!nM"Ti?e'''"'^''1*'"^ • As they .nighT!fe"^i's';^Vd to strfk^S^"" ^"-'^-'-. 'nZfi:^':^p^:^i''^¥--'^i^^^'^: ',.„„<■ ; . ■" '"- "ispectea, Or meagre ,hni "S" '?'^ '"5 ""■ '''•'=5^ neglected, WitrsL^il&Ze'S St,re"' """'O' P"'""^^ n se,or lensthen'd chin, Who so,neti.',ies gives the ^1 'St^^ "' f™>^X -'"-. ■un -'u""^ ^"'"'^ '^^^^^ saw each other • Which now produc'd the fond deceit Th' invited rif Ji ' ^^^ ^^'^'^^S's promis'd treat/ mvued Curate soon appear'd, The Doctor rubb'd his eyes and starU ai6 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX I II C3YNTAX.— My Host, I doubt not, told me true When he referr'd me, Sir, to you But with their rout were pleas'd to greet me, ^ ^^^' And with most foul salutes to meet me CUKAX..-" S^fyet can I,-but fsL'^pr/"^ °"^'"^'-" wi,«« -D .1 " "^^^ ^^^"^"^ ^^^ ^'"^gar shows ^ When Butler wrote, as his droll wit In Hudibras has painted it • A book writ in most merry strain Ft"ucu ii . A 1 T . ^°^^^ °^ Charles the second's reisn And 30 much fun it did impart, The IQu/cZd say it all by heart Though you must know, he quite forgot ^ ' T, . T ^ ,, ° ^^^ ^f ^^tler starv'd or not. But when in matrin^SiTr A huSs^^uVJe^ d'l^^^^^^^^^^^^ In country-place, 'tis rather common "^ ^ '^^' An.i K, .1 • ■ "^^^ ^° compliment the woman, And by this noisy -sty plan To cast disgrace upon the man." Ayr 1 P"^ ^^^^ n"^^' ^^ ^^is kind of sportino- May happen when one -^rj- a-courh'up-y " And, if he may these honours prove u c. T T'^^'j cudgell'd while he's making love. If so, I am already done, To fif^nt-P m ^ ca- • . .. riTDATir « NT ., . nguie in a Skimminc:to7i.^* wi J 'T. ^°','^°' t^^ P^»^ niust mated be Who suffer this foul courtesy ; ^SYNTAX.— It is not surely to my glorv •— , But hsten, and I'll tell my story • -Sometime ago, I lost my wife And mine is now a single life • When by the counsels of a friend, ^ * T wJtT,.,,. f Yi- ^^'^"ght n^y present state to mend, I, without telling whens ^r,^ ho^vs, To a fair widow made my bows • A buxom, tall and comely dame, ^ ' Who wish'd 'tvvas said, to change her name, And if I could her thoughts divine, QT,« • r^^^^ "otj perhaps, have sneez'd at mine She was with elegance array'd. And full-trimm'd fasWin's ton display'd We chatter'd first about the weather • ciispiay a. But \yhcn our . hairs got near tojrether And iiiiits had pass'd of tender things • fehe took her lute and touch'd the stnngs AV SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION j j 7 . , , J^^l^' kept us both from bcin? spVn Surpns'd us by its sudden fall • "'^'"y™". As she was sinking with alarms i ^T i^ '?°^J tremendous squall, Where after lying stil and S c,' '"^^^^ "'? f^ir-one in my arms Nay, when the hu^rryinV^ervrnis^^^^ V"^'' "> '^■'"d a riot I Then, w^tiySr^s^a^e c^SnS^ -V horrid name \ ^ Wiich, ^'s^vlly struggling' to'o'd"^ ''^"''^ ^'^^^'^ --"' Then as she rln-T'" 1^'"''" "^^ '"^WinVblood. ' ^"'^^"||!ie;^;;;Sk- t:'e%harp-!,'r^^^^^^^^ Ti,« r , "^' '^^^^^ I to unroll my stockinp- ^"o^^^ng^^ How I was kick'd and cuff'd and scolded » No hen-peck'd mate was e'er worse used, ' My wig des&tfnrnlcTcS^^^^^^^^ "^^f^^ From all this am'rou^s fire and fuel ' To no, it''' °^^' ""T'^^^ ^°^^«^"' But thanks to Heavl^ho ^^.^^^^^ ^"^ -^-^-^1 : -Thus I ha?e^t5^t?or-;/,^^^^^^^ ^ ,. / , ^^ Asitmaybe^o^use'^'you. ^ ^^^^^^5^' ^^ ^H so true, Shun then all widows, nor be seen Curate ^^^■^C'^^'t ^"^^'^'^ ^ screen." From time and chanc^"^e nonf n'^' f^' will happen, as we see, -I also can unfold a fray' Whf.h'""' f ^^\"^"st fulfil his'destiny. Nor was suSf ^-^^ X^^^,^^^:^::^ - ^X am.ous plaj:, T o . Whether I had been rude or not I cannot say or yes or no -ri i , , , But, poising a large folio book m "f ' "^1?^^^^^ '^ "^^^^^ ^e so ; Who, whate%r wefe her other charms H.li ^^^^lady's outrageous cook- Laid me all prostrate on the floor ' ^ ^ .u '^ ^^^i^"^ pair of arms ButastheJo'rl^tttfb^tl^'^^^^^^^^^ .. Uui fates resemble one another." As irjw;7r2'':,.'!:?P?^f' '"o. f"-- you have spoke. tt .h™ ill^lee^d^ri^K^Tappo,^ 'Ib^?"^ '^^'-"^- ^- -<■ ^ = Because in eVry town if s'eeT" ''"' aUI' wrr^Z'clrftrsp'feS,; 2l8 I THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX In which, by faithful art pourtray'd, My portrait is at length displav'd I see you've my facetious grin, Nor do you lack my length of chin • I think too as my eyes presage That we ma/ be of equal age' And in our sev ral shapes are shown An equal share of skin and bone p^c^/ ^ thymic we're rather like, As may the calm observer strike Besides, the church doth clothe our back In the similitude of black And we prefer our brains to rig In the grave dignity of wig Leaving the simple hair to grace , The dandy preacher's boyish face —bo far so like our persons are. Such our appearance must declare' J hat It may make good humour laugh, ' «Tu-i T ^s we our evening be v'rage quaff. While I may hope that we may find A better likeness in the mind " Doctor," the smiling Curate said, "Your form I've seen as 'tis pourtray'd In the fam'd Tour which I have read, And shall with added pleasure quote it, Now I have seen the sage who wrote it My hat and wig have been the joke, Like yours, of idle country-folk • From jest and gibes I was not free When ill-fed by my Curacv • But, Rev'rend Sir, you may believe me, ^ ^ ' If reason's self does not deceive me And I avow it to be true,- In virtue to resemble you : To have the knowledge you possess ; ' And my mind clad in such a dress As that which learning doth confer On your distinguish'd character • Id care not were I fat or thin, Or who might laugh or who might grin • But proud Hi any way to share The well-known title which you bear' I wish my hon.'st fame no better, Than to be like you ^ la lettre And Doctf r Syntax nicknam'd be, ' While »;ongues can give that name to me." Tins with kind thoughts the night began, And miick the pleasant moments ran. * ^e rubu'd glass, the brimming bowl. Awoke the lively flow of soul • ikit they had now so long conferr'd ' Tl ey stammer'd out what neither heard j And as each loll'd in easy chair, Sleep seiz'd them both and fix'd them there. Thus as they did their slumbers take, They look'd as like as when awake • For when the landlord op'd the door, Invited by their double snore And gave the Doctor to be led With due attendance to his bed,' They took the Curate with all care, ' And saw him safe and boister'd there • y¥^^^?^^''' ^? "'jst^^'lfy ^eet, Was slowly guided through the street • And him the ostler help'd to clamber Up to the Curate's liry chamber Thus as they talk'd or look'd or mov'd, These Doctors had their likeness prov'd j Alike with punch each charg'd his head, * And slept unconscious of the sorrow That head-aches might produce to-morrow. n^ SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. . For these two likenesses till noon Possession of their pillows kent c:" iT . , And when they 'woke arnunH ,h ,„ ?i '.?,"'''* °""='' ''^d they slept • Alike though^'^n ti. Zua nam! 'Itfi; f ""■""'/'•^^ «"d ^-^'^ i But both appear-d, whTn' thu'thoy?„e7"" ''"^'^ °' ^'-^-"^ ^ Syntax whoS^t^fSt be?„'ot '"^r^^'^ ' Thought '^^Al^'^::,lXZtT, *^ ""'^■'''«"' '0™. But leave lV:^ZttZ^^'^''lt.tT'' -Now as he did his way puW "^ S^n "? °"' ?, "''"'""^ ="»•/• Of his keen intellectual eve ' N„ . '^'="f''°" °ffer'd to the view-' -Far other feelings wertiwik,. ir,!! f ■"'"' '?''", "'''='"''' "ke flattery. And with a tone ofmelancholv '^ T Y\ ^T>^ .'^"g''" '° break'^^ " That mortSl'S'n is fram^^ ° Zre' ""-"'<' "is folly: We all must krot:'arS"i,'u^ tr? "Tt'^' We soften or enlarge the sTrife ' " wl ^'^'-Porti"" or degree, That on ourselves alone denends tt ^i"? ^'vcs variety to life Reason a fStwS'guL appeals?' "' '"' ""' ^"^ ''^ ^"^ The zealous'^hamMXe he '«'" Wh" "' ''"' ' • Assails us, where we all can tell ' O.^ZF"'"""! '""' '"='*"« »«. As in old times, long past and Mne Th„ ?/"'' °"\ ""'^""^ dwell j -•Tis nft'.r^rS^^oTin.'ptaSgl™' '"'" "^^ ^"'"■"""^ And here .IZTatiZtZ: ' TtFr'^r =' . . Those errors whth'l feel n w oln^""" ''^'^ "'^^^ I'""™, ^ ~|J^the-'cire-;^ ^-llB- - - -- -e n * *t. , Which wisdom teaches in her schnnlc: . But then the object and the end n • f,' • Though transient error they supnlv Tn '" '^'f^'i ^'^^ "''^^"^^ ^^"d, But ah, poor Syntax ! must not thmi Tn c ^'•'"'''^ *^'^ ^"^"^^^ energy To think, a vain comp W "ooJ Thnn .',«";;-'"g,r^^son humbly bow, But am I not what nature made me ? ' Let the. 1 ^^^^^^^i^"' Anfc'lfcerfl^^^^^^^^^^^^ But o'er the bowl to lose your sense, n,, . , • ? ='"'"n« contrarieties. And nu-nish out a laughi^g^i:ar"V^o''r co^^ySierivt^^^ Is such a kind of «7n\.,v.:^^ r.n. ^ DOODies oei luiiy iS such a kind nf wrnnrV^i^ CW^?nn°T^ i^f nighV;;^u were so jolly, Ought now to make you melancholy. ^* -The turns that in its pleasure. Heaven Has to my hfe and fortine p-ivei their ale, 320 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX A?ru^\^^^^'°"'^ ^^ ^" various ways, A ^ •. , ^^'C" some may blame and some may nraise And that .hcLne US.C;V'J;fsrvv1Iu^ ,,"."« did his pond'ring lecture close, ' , "^'.',"^" ^'^'^" 'l '" S'^'e his mind repose CANTO VI. Al?d^rvS'ot":;e: ^fgir wiv^i^^^t ^^f '^'=^"^",' "- = We know it -.vill not alwavl ms^ Will sometimes fly at morning's light. The fever's wat hful btSghefat WhCfL"!" "?'' "P™ disease When it Dut<; nff f i. rt^- rr^^ s^°^' cessations of distress While «ppo=-lI' ^"^1 i'-tlelfZ-iS^^^^^^ Syntax, >t,s true, there's no concealing, ^''^^^• wi.o« , ^^ "^ ^'^ ^"'"d ^ certain feeling, T amuse his friends around the Lake, 1 o him or them in any measure, T^.,f , u * "^^ "°^ P^'o^^ a source of pleasure But whatsoever harm was done wi^V u n And what his folly did iniDait ' A..? t^^V^"^^' ^^ himself alone ; Reason had bent L the controul r^ f ^^ ^'T ^ ^'^^^h of heart \xr.u . Becalm'd his thoughts, by sleeo subdTipT Without a h nt from achino- he-,^ ^ a . T """"'"^l. What dreams by fancy were bera't 0.^-^1 ^°'f ^^ '""S'" ^''^ bed. The IWuse woulS think k vain tf prv In '.' ,w'"' f "''' '>'^ "<"' But when his eyes"op'f o'n the JTo'^" '""'^^^ "^"-y = And the vex^ bntt^.'glr^'^''' "Sad kl? ^°"°"' . Charm'd w'ifh'the beaSy'onhe'da;' "^ """'"^^ "«»'• Where natuti„'h"lo?elles*hL"™^^°,?^'', L . Of woods above of meads belo^^'"''"' *^ *"™^«"S "^« AV SEARcff OP COmOLA TION. 3 ^ , ^Within ew.^^^^,^^^ And now might seem o tS ler's e^'''' ^"''i;^ /'"-ndeur found retreat! -Twas here that SymS 'chanCd^'trsr ^ ""' '^^^^^^-^^^y- A woman spinning 'neath a tree, Whose boughs o'er-spread a stra^v-roofd cot %nr« r "^^.ji-b'ring peasant'sTot ' rell me," he said, " my honest dame 0?hf^'''' '^'' character .nd name!' Of him or her who, by Heav'n's grace «OT-cT A ^"^^ °^" *^^''^t noble, charming Dlacp" A^;hi;^-^-« ';s.£i:^^'^-^--de: For the good deeds ihich do resound^ " ^'"'^ ^"°^" To bless us^^^t StpVeTr^ThS H^ '■^^^■^""i^ '• It seems to be her on^y^oy Her'ti'^n^/ 1 ^'"/'^ *^'^ ^'-^^^ ^^re. In doing what is real |ood. _Mv i. ' ^' ^°''""^' ^^ ^n^Ploy For in that^ot my husbaTd^'iref" ^'^^^^^^ "^ ^^^^'^ "^^^ With useless hmbs, and sightless eyes • Whom the sw'Tt lightning's piercin/flim^ But all the ?oS?'hrci;&' T' ^"^^ Nor does she loH at home at eJI'e • %h'p'' ^f\ ^^^'^^,"^^^ ^^ bestow : E'en here she'co^S" s sent'b^ H^tn ° ^^ ""'' ^'^"^'^ '• M u 7*" ,^^^ *^^^ ^^hat She gives is ei ven ' -Nay, while the poor she doth suddIv a ^ a: . The rich who visit her receive ^ '^^'"^'^ hospitality With the proud welcome she can give » A^^T\ ""-'^^ ^" *^'^ ^t«ry charm'd!' And his benignant bosom warm'd, ' And., J^'^^^^^^^^ And with a p?aVSd e^/rmbi„°/ *' ^'^^h' ^ • ;^Agardfr'3„rto Patrick eIS,?'"-«^»« »' his design. wnen | at ra.i ail his virtues o'er, 1 old what he was-and somewhat more. In tracin.. wi?i ht ^^ ^°^^°' P^'=''' ^'n hour ' ^11 udung, witn nis utmost- ravo a To dine he kindly was in^vited, NoTtrtfer„;-Xet's'lfgfe; # 1 iit THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX H Then with this welcome she address'd «_Q- n ^^ rev'rend and delighted guest • For while he sojourns he will be TlT^i f ?"'"'f f,' '''^ o"" = And to a yet far distant day -Tis hoo'd li^ ?„i]f °, *" ~""«y i The dinner o'er the blessing gi^en '" P™'''"^ "'' "^y-" The Doctor^*: wo'.^d° n" ™"mTi?" °' ^^^T'- , And which VelToitleast ^^h's" ^d' ""' ^' "^'^ '" '^"^ TT J . ^X^e^^ ^vine IS plenty and is good Had ni a strain of modost glee -r^i i 71 ,.• Not that the Muse did mean to hint He here wouM^n i'"""'!? ?''*^'^- Of learned sages' due decorSm, ^ ^^'"^ '^'' ''^"' . , ^^1^^^ the full bottles smile before 'em —The mterestmg story done wiw!.i 1 1 r , The mansion's mistrcss^Se broke ^d h', '''^'' ^°"^ ''^"^"^ion won, Lady BouS-« it dth nl 'IJP^''''^"^.^^^^"^^ spoke! _ To see the Rev?end Docto tre ^^^ '^'^^'^ ^^^^^' Whose many virtues and who've tist<- Ar^rw.. 1 Nay, that sa.ne chalice fhaX,,'" ""'" '" "^ ^"^P^"'" ' Which turny his face tow'rds i<,«„A, /f^// . And while his conversation gives I trust he wm emP^f:;:'!;"^" "'* ■'"'S'f ^^ «,-'. , On the rich chaLing scenes whicf Snd """^ '» "^'^P'^^ A n^ *i, . u J '""S^ °f ornamental ground • a^^^otg'tle'vicrs'oT.JSec.) ""' ^l^'^^'^'^K'^ "^'^ "e plac'd, It is a favour I shall ask ^ ' ThJU.^ "P^'ii'S'" "'"» ^ue effect : Nay, such assistance to impart k , T" k ""'^,"'='ke the task ; Which for thesftfophies' sakerd'^ma'ds" "' "*" " ^■^^• Th. n .^u ■ '\'',°"'' °f '■'^ •"^ad and hands " Thln'lJoS'^ i^erK^Tli'^^^^^^^^^ . Nor would hTgTmf i'w^'done""' ™* =''°"'^ "^ "^^S""' winiTi^^pS:j^ic?at'^^L'b't^?^'7i^^^^ When Lady Bounty, to begule Hi^nf '" °'!'''^ ^vour-d place , Stood on the terrace-walHo iiew ■^f^^Zl'' "'"^ ^PP™ving smile When,at once furious aJd'llS-mT^ P™^''"" ''^ ''^ '^■■'- = Led on by Pa"tf aTisy cr'ar'""* T,T" ^^^' And, with^ loid and Lwi"g sound Of ru^Iii^cvmh"? °'^''' P"''"^- The flying rovers, eager strive To tlmn; fi, *^ ?'''l "phasing round And, spite of pan and pot and kettle. Chose on the Doctor's head to settle! Th,V'i-V:'°' "^ tSS^S'" indeed most strange. That this wing-d populace, who range ' f!^ SEARCU OP CONSOLATION. ,« In search ofsweets, should hone to v,v -ri r ■, ^ And theW though iLVnIng gig J'^: '?o';;^„.3«'" '" » ^'S, But St... it sl'^'sf ^^-irs "»""■ '^^o'jj^r F^-r^3|Si S -'^r^-'^^^^^ his seat As then, she from ex, erience knew "^'" /••'''<= 'hc^i-- course in q "et •' Then off his 1 1 a„d"wig 1 e'thr ^ VTK ^„^'^ p^'ri?' -vitijrpetu^o' s' s ■; '"™^<' ^'^p' >>« "=- ; To save hist^ t^'tSl c'ro=^;\^f"'= '^-''' AwayVhey huSied^own'th^Viop/""' %!"£ stinging race. And both plung'd hcadloTgfn t^wa.er. BeSh^i, f^^^P'ig. close meander, ' Though no ha?m dld'^hil'Sn *"== '° """<<" ' And tlat ™s"mat^.vt'n ellylfr:- 0?'.I '^^,7' f™" '"P '» toe • What the good Doctor's sta^e reaXd A n'""'' V5''>' «'™Id prepare Was ready to obey his cal • ^^""^"^ • /'' '« .could ask for or desi?d Did the officious service plV So tw'f " ''^ ''»'' '" Bounty Half Talk'd o'er in terms of frolic ease H- '" •'°™ ™= "='™ and dry And made his tumble in thp wtf a "'^ "^""""^ battle with the bees His hat and wig the ho"eye7race ^ H^d'Lf /"" '?" f "'^^' '*• Or as retir'd and snug retrSs ^°""'' '^ *" ''""■'S P'«e, So that uns^y X7dS7»,li-''^?,,1"''™='''' '""^'^^ : -His trou'ied toil g soon ren^^Jy^^fe'" t" °r" ''™"g'« «?ain. Th' allotted taskiXt e'reihe ruf '"''' '"2"^^^' P^^-^-i -Sv£?\''!,™"'"'' his work was done wX ^'"' "^'•'^ "'^ "Chaste desto Which wouKch'^nriy^^'r'*"'' "^='^"'^'' ""ef The statu?slT'n&pl/?S" ^'•-^Wh^.e'erthe spot best suited it. And sculptur-d vases were dtsoIaVH t '*" °" "'« 'errace grac'd Whjle the sad willow'spSde mho .th J" ""F ^'""S "^e balusSe • An4the sarcophagus is^een^^H.^'je" '"■'''' f°>" ""below; It J, ^Pf!'*'"' 'his was not all Thft s^^n^'^-'i darksome green His pencil promis'd to impart t^^^ ''"' ^' Bounty-Hall : j That Madam's Boudoir mi^ht Z^:'^'^°'' P""-" »' *'» art, TheTadl" ?' "' "■« scenesaround." To 1^1 .1^ " ",° common measu--, To h.m thus spoke her grateful pleasure ; 224 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX A h^P"^ BoUNTV.— " How to express my just regard And how to shape a due reward, For all the service you have shown, For what you're doing and have done, ^ I cannot to my mind declare, Though that shall be my future c-xro • But st.ll there is another call Upon your heart Tt Boun v-Hall' For much I wish that you would trace The features of my home y face' It would please me and others too To have my portrait^done by ou ' And you, my Rcv'rend Sir, shall know ^ ^ ' The reasons why my wishes flow That you this favour should bestow Expanded on the stuccoed wall Of my old mansion's stately haU You see my form at large appear When in my threc-and-twentieth y ear ^n^hf ^f /" f '''^ P'^\'^ ''''''y ^^^^^^1^ ^^^^y fashion could d splay • But then I trust, my conduct prov'd That I was worthy to be bv^d By virtue's image, who was then My husband and the best of men To wealth and station full allied. My ev'ry wish was gratfieS; And I my splendid course pursued, A star of no small mfgn tude And one bright track I did maintain, With love and honour in my tr^n' Thus fifteen years of life I pass'd In happiness too greaTL as ' SI l?ft nn 1^ ■' ^f"gthappear'd, and then I lostfalas ! that best of men He left no heirs to stamp his name With perpetuity of fame But It appears as Hearn's decree That duty should devolve on ine' And, from the moment when he died, ' Here have I liv'd and have applied My wealth and time and thoughts alone In doing what he would have done, And, as he on his death-bed lay, His last {instructions to obey. iJut though some form my state requires Some outward show, yet my desires * Heav'n knows, impel me to prefer The finn of his just almoner Then to the canvas pray impart. With touch of unissumi3 art' Not Lady Bounty of the world, With all her glitt'ring robesTnS ! But as my present form you see in dignified simpSfy' Such, as If here a year you stay. You'll see her. Doctor, eveTy day » Syntax.—" Madam, you know, you may command The work of my inferior hand, But my poor pencil is confin'd To labours of an humble kind • Nor have I ventur'd on the toil That dares consume the paintei^s oil" Butif you please to send to town And order proper colours down With canvas, pallet, and the rest Which I may want-I'll do rnv best " Lady Bounty.-" It shall be done, without delay :- " But some short time must pass away, Ere your most friendly pencil traces My grateful looks and fading graces. And I have still a boon to ask. To you, I trust, a pleasing i-aiK ; You, whose peculiar virtue knows To act the part'which I impost You, who can well discharge your duty To female youth and female beauty, Bv fixincr in the earl V mind T^./^.^-, ,^^: :„i-- V To guard ,hem-from.hereart's deceU;Whi'chior;^^^^ V, ith dangers than ,t .s to mau, As your experience wcTcl^lcaa ^^ ^^ARCff OF COmOLATfOX 22$ „ , To';Si;'5r.°ry^',;::r"5-'.''isea„ce, l!3 style and manners to rcS "" "f'\''"<^^. Som» J',''', " ■'^ '■°="^'^"ds of the d w '"'"^^""S sisterhood ; But an did ,^rrL-f ;r^'-|'r« -eaves 4^,^^ ,. He threw a genial smile around' "' 1 r"'" P';«cptress by his side Then upward look'd, as if was Len ^F°'?, ""= animated crounH: And soon a mute attention hu„|'™"' u„„„^^*"t orison to Sen ■ As i mi™^' '" "^"y " future hour ° "■? '?"'' ~unsels of a Sender All that in this world we commai d r, ''■VP'ness, than to be vain '■ Vo nf as youire""' ^"^ """""'^11 ^rCisTeV'"' "-''''-d i S&sro"ft„»rSr-- That virtues^-SSlo'^^V^^tv'""""^ you"'"'"^"-. ' Nay, from my .o^L a?cepT'a truth ''"'' TH^oIs to certain woe That, in this w^-i^ ".."l . ?." fi«ed to the ear J.-Z^' The wieked wilTno't^rn '-"'^evf ™' thougl: Ho-^Mr-b^lSP^tSet sad! »5 i2h THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX If then through hfc to virtue prone, ^^^Awcn , ^'jc joys of both workis are your own. Life is tlic path to mortals given A J J .1. ,\ .^^ ^^^ eood from earth to Heaven : And death the dark and gloomy way, That opes upon eternal day These are grave thoughts I well may iwn, ^' /T- ^, I^»t cannot be too early known. And what the joy which they deserve, ^' , Nay will possess, who never swerve From virtue s path, and the decree Of heav'n-born, heart-felt pietv ? This knowledge I shall hope to teach ^ ^ ^ Not by thoughts beyond your reach, Unto your earthly parents, who S.and in the n "ce rfrndlf '"" And next, your kind instructors elaimThe honofu^s Sroafaft-f^Ce To whom m your ,fe s early hour They delegare ,fa?™ufp"owr: buch IS the earhest thought imnress'd ^y reason on the human breast ; The first fond sense that nature gives. And the first warmth the heart receives. ]P l%Sr,.e ZrL'e^Jl^e ,^p"oVul"sS&r 'ei '^" ' But on some other points infer aK.,;! 1 li , "^ charge, Andsuchastomy^mind^;tears Be^tS^ot^^^ ra'nr/e^^ Beauty displays a two-fold kind. That of the body and the S ^ Both are allowed their various arms, * T«.» . 1 ^^r ^^^quers by its sev'ral charms. Let s try by rules of common sense WhaJ is their genuine excell-^nce. And then compare the solid good excellence, n J t. .^ ^^'^^ *^^y both may be endued ^r S ^?''''"^ ^°^^s display'd to view, variety, A«^ 11 *^\9H ,.°^ ^^'°^^ o^ auburn hue, wtrbeaTy'^? ,^CeTef n"i,r ^ wVr '" f <""''='"-'" ^-'• But on this^^d, deiusivrtS?, po^,'i'tSi?a'°dtS That, by the f^-^"'" As a decided good 'tis given ttf SEARCH OP CONSOIA TIO.V. g^^ For oft 'tis found in your possessing More as a tn;,l ♦!..., . . i • Nay beauty oft neglected mourns, And even wreck vhom i^ n?'"^ ' Its charms m a the r brightness Uv 'p.^t j whom it adorns. ^ ^ ^ May their .oK"bIa'o,r.' displf;."" ""'"'""S -V- to-day But, from the mroad of disease To-mnr.nJ ,* And the late .lowing eye may s'ee " ""rul7'':i'r 'f P^'^'^ ' -Besides, we know, uncourtcous tiuie ^ '' ^^ ^^^ormty. When once you've pass'd life's early pnme. Will soon bcgm, with rankling tooth. TT • ,. ,^?P''7 on what remains of youth: Unmmdful of each y eldinff cracc To nlon/fi, 'n And, as advancing age dravvf S To rif,i ll"^ '"r"^^^ °" *^^ ^^^^* While on the brow no long^p^^ Tha a Z, n't^'''"'" °^ '^'^ ^^^ •' Thehandofti^meLtLurn^^Vem^^^^^^^^ Nor is this ah— as all must know. Death k nfUf^ * i That doth on nature's will attend' And bri mrus L nn^ ' ?"'"'^'' ^^^' Nor will his fatal arrow spare The v^ tliful LT^ '^'''''" ^"^ '- But in its glowing strength and hlo^r^T.^Xt^o^^^^^^^^^ -Such then the form's attractive grace ' buch then the beauty of the face • ' Let us compare them as combin'd With the rich (mr^c «f fi -Here rests the beauty of the whole ^ ' ""^^^'^ "''"^• The mortal form, th' immortal soul. ' ru. .1 Jhe one that on Time's pinions flies. The other this world's power defies And InnVc *« „ i. The one may smile away its hour ' In youth's exhTlar'^H '' l' ^•^'^• But 'tis not made to live and last ^^^'I^'-^ting bower. When that so cheerful season's past •— Know,that the other may engage The stride of time from youth toa-e And, passing on to life's last doom ^ ^ '^^^' Will look with hope beyond the tomb Beauty may make you angels here. But virtue makes you angels there " By time, by chance, 1^ ,-e's frownf ^"^^'^ "^^^^' The proudest fabric tun . down And wealth is lost, we often see, ' in A^cr.u,- In such a change if human lot. From the nronH ^ '^*'"^ ^^""'^• It is the mind that must repair' '"'j^JllZS^Z'^^^^^i And mortifying load of care. s iv>ur lo utar Though you, younn friends, have not attain'd p f *t, • ^^ P^Y^*" ^^y rcason's strength sustain'd. But thus, mstructed, as vou feel By such enlarg'd enlighten'd zeal A„^ vu ^^"^'^ ^"""'^^ ^^^ teacher's words supply? ^'""S''^^" ^ ^^al, And, with superior energy Present K to the mental eye —All this is right and just and good ; ^ ' The mild, with moral sense endued. Doth those well-wrought foundations lav Which are not subject to decay. And form the base on which to rest By that you're well prepar'd to know What to the Gospel 'tis you owe. 15-2 m I 'I If '1 .J; d 23$ THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SY.WAX Yes, my young audience, you Ve been taught / "ose rules with perfect wi:idom frauffht ^ Which did the glorious scheme suddIv 'hat full, universal good, That an distincfions did rem^^f /„ one grand f/ene'o7 so^ ia^ „ , , The blessing promis'd from above. ' And calT^oTgratel^^^^^^^^^^^^ Bo5 T'^S'' ""^ =^"'°"^ *i^>>^^ ^-^11, 'Tis that ?m aS'jt'o°S^ ;'"- '° fe^&f s^^LS Of fT^.f • . ^^ '''°"'''"' ^^"^^ the awful date ^"^ g giS«a7L^„-cl%„o^:;\\— ^^^^^^^^ WOMEN were but the slaves of Man Countries and nations I could name ' Where they could no distinction claim And like th? beast^s that perish, they "'"" '' ^"^^ortahty : M j-j .,. Look'd to compose one common clay. Nor did they equal rights possess, That source of female happiness (To which enhghten'd nations know "appiness, ;;^"^,^o"^ proclaim, how much they iwe) 1 111 Heathen modes and Pagan power -IX7U ,- Melted before the beaming hour, When that Divine Lawgiver came, A new Religion to nroclaim That in the mind such comfort pours proclaim, yxru „r "^ ^^¥^^^' ^^y clarling friends, is yoirs • To bear arms m their country's cause ' A 1 -.1. \° ™e the code of wholesome laws. Nor, from th' allotted circle roam. But sway the scepS of E W^ '• There, by each fond and virtuous' art. To soften fncf chastise ?he hear ' And all man's ruder thoughts improve "^^ ^^^ ^®^" ' Bj^^the chaste warmth of wedded love. 'Such was the change, which you must see. Was made m man's society ; A nH.^cV-^? ^^?'^ °^ *^^^ ^°""' ^^^" ^°"^^n shar'd domestic power • And this distinction woman owes. As ev'ry Christian Sr^tn^fJc' lo mat nigh covnant which began, ' A J .y^^^?- Heaven renew'd its will to man. And sanctified the nuptial bands By purer laws and new commands ; IN SEARCH OF CONSOLA TIO.V. If therefore it is well exnlai'n'rl ixn ^ i ^ By the religion you profess i^l\^' '>^ ^^"^^^^ '^^ I^^^ve gain'd, What honour an^d su^perior power To dothe^^t W^n'."'.."^"' ^•"PP'"^^^ Say can your hearts be e'er endued W h f f 1 1 . ^ "^^T""^ ''°"^ * Ind R ^'f f-- He/vVs founU a flowi'^'^ ^' ^^-^^-^^. O rlo nnf ^ Revelation has bestow'd !- ' An'drvJ s^tL^t ;?tu'nri;rn!^,T ^'^ ^s.'jv^^r'^"^^^^^' ^-^ -^-n •• And when you grow up into 1 fe ' As f In^l ''' '^"'"^ ^^^^ ^^ey'd ! By action and example too ' Ko.^ f^ •^"''' ^! Pf ^^"f' ^»d as wife, And neve'r che?k the ho.L'g? d:^' ^^'^'^ ^'^^^^ ^" ^^"^ view Are fpm^i?^-?"'^'7^^^ powerful arms Fn,- oil *\. ^re female vntues, female charms • In circles mttts?cS'™'lr °^ "-""- And fond affections bid you t!LT^ ''"'' i here all your shining virtues shower And brmg the whole before your view ci,^ ° P^^ve my solemn doctrines tn.n ' """°"»n^^te]?-£H----'--hies^^ —bo now farewell-remember me— And what I've taught beneath the tree - The Doctor rose, the blessing given He calmly I^t"hSy\tt ''"'a-.^s^ '° ^^"• The evening pSand^^chI^ XS"'""^'^''- "°" = tertfrTst^te"^^^^^^^^^^ ..^^-S3S?52^5..yWhewo. Receiv-d the sunn's first JildeT,"; "^S'-'^'^g Parish spire Synta.hadtfth°'lty'eft'' '''?jr„'' «°-. An^ . " ^^^ ^^^ nearer prosoect boi.nrl ' And mountams clad in airy blue Qos'd wi?h t L- . , y uiue 1.10S d with their tops the distant view : 230 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX II Nor did there want the mantled tower, Or pointed spire or village bower ; Besides the morning's moisture threw O'er woody dells a misty hue, That form'd a dusky base below, To heighten the ascending glow, Which the horizon's golden ray Did on the summit's peak display. Struck with the beauty of the view, He brush'd away the morning dew, To make a hasty sketch or two. Pat follow'd quick, when, having seen His master seated on the green, And with attentive care employ'd, On the gay work he so enjoy'd. He rov'd about, now here, now there, He scarce knew why, he scarce knew where : When, as beside a hedge he stray'd, From the sweet voice of village maid, He heard a simple strain prolong From tender heart this piteous song : ** Thd' the rain it did pour ^ and the luinds they did blow, Wheti lue were home over the Ferry ^ Thd the rain it did pour, yes Hemy, you know That my heart it zuas l>/ithesome and vierry, " But ah ! thd' the sun so sweetly did shine As I did return o'er the Ferry, 1 wept— for then Hejiry no longer was mine, And my heart knew not hoiv to be merry. " The sun now will shine and the winds blow in vain, For I've bid adieu to the Ferry j — / n(^er with dear Henry shall pass it again, And my heart has forgot to be vierry'' Pat listen'd and soon made reply In his own native minstrelsy. " My dear Meg liv'd ivith her mother, I on one side and she on t'other, For a deep river ran between Me and the Beauty of the Green, Bui the banks were steep and the river wide, And I had no horse and I could not ride, So I wish' d myself a pretty little boat, To take me o'er to t'other side. " And many a month and many a day A nd half a year had past azvay ; And still the river flood was seen 'Twixt me andMarg'ry of the Greer, But the banks were steep, &^c. " At length she did a youth prefer Who liv'd on the same bank with her. So nozv the river mayfloiv on : My hope is fled, my love is gone, I care not though the banks are wide, That I have no horse and cannot ride; And I wish no more to be a little boat. To take me o'er to t'other side,^ He clos'd his strain and through the screen Fornvd oi wild flowers and branches green, A lass slow pacing on was seen. A russet gown the maiden wore. And on her arm a basket bore ; IN SEARCH OF CONSOLATION 231 The rosy blush was on her cheek ■^"^ ^^''^ brown locks hung- o'er her npri- Wh,le eyes of blue seem'd to impart /he fymptoms'of a melting heart —Pat took a peep and quite delighted, "'^"'"S «eart. A J , ,^^^°"g^^tt^at the time should not be slifrfiff^r! And that the means he might improve To trv anH m.7 r.., , -Though, thou^ght he! I'm not so cfever ' ^ ^^"^' ^°"^ To leap across a flowing river I thmk at least I have the sense ToVet mp nV^ ., «, • t . r When he ^f .^^L'S^gJLt^anf L^^g^ ira°r, S[S"oXl^;^^,y To bear her eggs and while the thrush ' . ^"i^g sweetly from the neighb'rin? bush In p easmg courtesy confer, And mention all he thoudit of her -Susan, poor gn-1, at first was coy. But there's a certSVous bo7 Who cares not how he wastes his darts ^' RprpJv. .1, ^°'* whether high or vulgar hearts Receive their pomts, so he can play And thus amuse his time awav Thus ere Pat's tongue for half an hour away.- CT, t, J . V, ^•'^^'■^^s'^ ^ts flatt'ring power, bhe had withdrawn her look severe And qppmM f« „• v , • While this love-talk was eoin- 011' Wn vl? ^ "^^ ^ hst'ning ear. And was returning stout aid bl^' To !f '' ^^^o'-^jng task had done, Thus, passing on\echaSc'd to .^^ I P'^y"?^" ^^e breakfast table Patrick\enga:^d' il^'anV^^^^^^^ 17^:^::^:^^^?^^ ^-^' While she, with half av^v^^tf look Th^S • • ^ '^' ^. '^ ^^^^ ' -The Doctor, sitting st le Rp<=nl,S .if u '^''^"l'''"^^^^^^ took. And please hi fanc^^^^^ Of how t£?' ^ • ^°"^^ ^'^P ^^^^^^^^ -Sometimes their jWngJf^Jsp^o^k^^^ Then their join'd hands appear'd in View "^ ' And then the nymph her hand withdrew' Tapping the lover on the shoulder • At which he bolder grew and bolder • When his arm gently clasp'd her waist. Nor did she think the grasp misplac'd ; For, though she made attempt to shove it. The feeble act did not remove it. ~^*^^ ?^ow the smiling Doctor thought T« • * f • ,^ *'"^^ *° set it all at nought, To interfere in the debate. And spil, at once, the t6te ^ t^ta He then appear'd, poor Pat was hush'd, ^ ^^^^ TJ,„„ ^' .^ "^'"'P^^ ^^ ^^st look'd down and blish'd Then tript away^n all her legs To better mS with her eggs. bY^TAX.— What fancy has your folly led ^^ To stuff with trash that poor girl's head • To trump up a long list of lies About her elrs h^r nnc a Tu^* i.1-". 1- _ , , ^luuuL m,r ears, ner nose and *»"»». ^^■'■=^-- iiiuugii you ve oeeii aii Europe o'er ' " ~''~^ A J '^l^'* ^^^ ^^^^ ^ ^^"ch before ; ' And while your nonsense you ^^ere plying You knew, you fool, that you were lying '' ' 'L w- 2$2 II T//£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Patrick.- "An't please your Rev'rence, 'twas but sporting ,. What a man says when he's a-courtine- sporting She seem'd well pleas'd-I did my best ; ' Twas only making love in jest : 1 is what I've heard that great folks do, 1X71, T Whenever they are pleas'd to woo. And, with a thousand thanks receiv'd it. ' 13 ut all these fancies are forgiv'n j If e'er man went, he's gone to Heaven • He was the best of men, all said «^ho knew him, whether live or dead • For on one hard and well-fought day ^ ' He on the cold stone lifeless lay " Fnfr^"'^''-" • ^"^'^ '^- ^°' '^^ t^"^^ or season 7? f u ^ or me on serious points to reason : Will have commited an offence nation, Fnr\^., .1 ,^^'"^^ yiftue, reason, common-sense ;— I'or on the heart a Lie's a hlni- Axru IVT • wli .1 • ', r Whether in palace or in cot " Here this unsought-for converse ended, An^ ..1 The ladies on the sage attended, n„ .u f y'*"" '■^'V™''' 'he food of knowledRe. 7°"J!'5„"l"i^i'L^';"™dly call Re-summon'd him to Bounty Hall. Had brought the apparatus down. His fav'rite art with novelty • Could do with canvas and with oil! The easel in due posture plac'd! J he messenger arriv'd from town, By which the Doctor was to ply To see what his unpractis'd toil The pallet set, with colours grac'd, ^ uc cusci i The curtain'd window's softened glare. Of fav ring light th' admitted share, 1 he Lady seated and full-drest, «ru o ^^" . "P ^^o^e ^ooks she thought the best — j"^" ^-'^v^^M^t -^^.r '•""^"'^'"'^^ "'-'"'"^'■•^'■' or in cot." '33 i^y SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. Th J^r^^ ^'^ P^"^'^ fonn'd the line \ uffing and paintnig on he wint Until it .J'Z'^^S,^^^^'^> son.eti."e^ content, Whereas, on a correct survey ViSf.V'w^? ?^^' *^^ ^^^er green • The Lady when she tookTview ^^^^^fl ^"^^' ^^^^ were grey' By daubing out'rnd laying n'"' '^'^^^M^--^ He kept within a mod'ratf hne • But m J'i'S ^^'^^f'^ ^^^'^^^ '-^^d thin. For here a.S?;s^^Lr;Lii^%,*- °f atfi : And in her pdte' p^a^c'dThf cak?~'-™^' "^ ™'=""'^ ■ And as ^---Tl^Srd^^^^^^ ^fe'^^n^^.hTstTna^tlS'^^^^^^^^ -The work 'tis true, had no i^efence t/.^'"."^' '"'=P"abIe friend. m'reo^Te fi"""° '"eLnvas^ivf "''""' ^"""^^ And though this nta,?..^"" '?"■" "^ "^'^ r Yet thoselo ;wTo£'r;iS"y^^- „ Dia^/V"»'^'.'''?r -^''-"•n And she herself, above theTest S-^" "Uikeness own ; -When'.w?s%.:Sn"ed"?o^?f:vi''"'"r^'^P^^^^'<'- Of ancient work, with'^figures irim °°'" """"^ *'* '*P"'0', Whr S/fe4i*-Sg .imb ,. ,^ Had for a cen i ;i,;;''„°[| '?T P^'™*ng, ^:f^p^£!^2£iBk '"^ - '■•^ ^-. *e rac. 3'^e^he\-it?^^S-d^ With strong expressions, to aSend Th. t?"u^ V^^^^^'^ ^ serious ca And much he did anHv;i„"_ "™ The wish of Doctor Di-i^- ijA J ' In the recessesTf a coileg^^" icll^^T"'^ ^""^'^^ ^^^"^d onlim wait Which tn H.. .,... „_. gjy Scenes «^j^f oj}.livmg_and of know?^^^ T.eooct.;ho:^noZS.I?Se-~^SS; ■i^ ill I Jj! L 334 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX lilii m. But Lady Bounty's rank and station All. , ^^^^ check'd the vulgar inclination, And he determin'd to regret, With all due form and etiquette, in looks that mourn and words that grieve. That he was forc'd to take his leave. —The morning came, the breakfast o'er, wru o ^"""s and Punch were at the door : When Syntax in respectful tone. Made all his grateful wishes known. While ev'ry hope wordscould express ' r- 11 , , . , ^^^^^^th, long life and happiness, Follow d m due and stated course. With solemn, modulated force. Then her right hand he gently drew, ^c^ 1 , '^^'^ ^^' ^"<^ hos^'di, and said " Adieu." -Afrected by this tender grace A tear stole gently down her face • And wipmg^her be-moisten'd eye. She offa-'d this sincere reply ' —Doctor, your virtues I revere, * And wish your stay were longer here • Doctor, your learning I admire, And much I grieve that you retire • Your piety mvolyes my heart And I lament that ]Z depart.' But still I thank the happy chance, ^ That did your wand'ring steps advance 1 o where I pass my tranquil days In striving humble worth to raise And in the circuit of my power, ' T« „« .i,r ^^.^\^^l the poor man's toilsome hour t In youthfnl minds the seed to sow Of virtue, and'where thistles grow To pluck them, that they may not spoil ^ Ihe fruits produc'd by honest toil ; Nay I am proud, that my great view A«^ VI T ? .^ appro v'd and prais'd by you. And while I wish you ev'ry good, I thus my kind farrwell conrTndo • -Here whensoe'er you wish to come This house wiU proJe a r^^^^^^^^^ \ Come when you will, bring whom you may * Vnn'ii 1, .i' ' ^^ y°" please, prolong your stay : You 11 have the welcome of my heart ; Nor go, till I pronounce rt^^hn^-f » -She now presented to his hand A cover Hchwi^hv^W^f, Where taste must have been proud to ply I's need e in en W,^/"''' rake this,' she said, « and when yoiir thought Is With a sudden image fraught, — inscribe It here and Ipf it InrA xt i < It thence .ay ^^^^^^^l'^ To JI^'^ "^^^ I And at those moments do not spare memoiy . i^u^ 7^ : °^, y*^"'' ^^^^""^ ^"^"d a transient piiyer " It waS no Co. '.!(!""'■"'> ' '""^ ^"'^ "''°°k the hand of Dicky Bend' was not lo^ng e,. they;---ted, And_h,.d each other kindly /reSi Or i^«i » ^ r ° , ^^'y "^'^^ ^^^ who grew old, Or look d for tardy time to pay ^The hop'es of the impatient day , iN SEARCH OF CONSOLATION. m What the preferment in their giving, rhm, *i, u "^ V3'° ^^«i go' the last good livine When, iook4iw„wt'dir!5?cky C'^ ^^°"' '"--«'«- *-all d on the Doctor to attend. As^fi;;rsomethVm''oi^et^^^^ ^^^^ ^ ^''"^ In short 'tis some time^ince I found How M llf irf "^ ^^'''^' Of a continued sinde life • T fi.^i ? i V, , solitary round And soon the widow of a friend n-^l°'1 ^^""^ ^ °"* ^^^ a wife ; A fitness for the inTrded sS" A^f ^^h'- ^"^"'^^^ ^«"^"^^nd As I, at length, am like to orov^ M. ^TS^ •'"'^ '° ^"^^^ ^ n^'-^te, Indeed I'm told X^ w^^^^^^^ ^J^ ^^^rmer age of love We are nlt'stt^S to'eaciro'the;"'^ ^^P"^" "^ ^^^^^^• Known a go^d^^Sl'to X\"^ ^^vi.'t" i asL . Bejustasg^ooda'w!fetc^mrj'*^'"''"^^y«"'"^-ynots^ Beauty mdeed she does not boast ; She never was the college toast ■ But manners sweet, with winning smile, ^ ^""^^ ' A 11 f T, 1 ^' ^^° ^^^^ feehng heart beguile, • SYNTAX.-" Let now I pray the subject cease ^ No mn-P n/' ^""^u !.^°'^ ^^°"Sh*^ ^^^i^h wound my peace • ^o mo.e of wives before we dine. You know that I'm depriv'dof mine • So leave that topic to the wine " "^i^^v a or mme ; x,7?^? '^i^.'^^^ -'^^' *^ ^'^^y came, An^ ^-^ • u ^° ^° - ^ ^ ^° soon to change her name. And did with grateful care attend To say kind thhils to Dirl-v'« r • i By whom the office would be done To'make h'Tlnd^^^D^^cly""^ ~- Twas with discretion well arrauf-'d ^ Wlfl, ti,^ 11 ,^ ^'^°^'^ ^*^*^ s^o^l*^ "ot be chling'd With the well, long-known Mrs. Free, Within the Universitv • For should It hap to reach the knowledge "^^ersity , ^i the young gownsmen in the college, The gen'ral quiz, the frolic tale, Would through his cloister'd haunts prevails The grey-beard Cupid's wings would sprawl On many a disfigur'd wall, ^ And Hymen's well-known saffron shirt _ Would be well sprinkled o'er with port. ^^i^r'^fti ;uKi-- ^'^'^'^ -'fef- 1 »-'nj seat, T^i.^ — L-^^j:jr.^' , . -"^n a "t for hymeneal 10 VS. The purling riv'let flow'd around, And fruits and fragrant flow'rs were seen r II ? r^ ^^^ smooth-fac'd bowling-green FuU many a leaf of various hue Did its neat snow-white front bestrew, 23^ TNE TOUR OP DOCTOR SYNTAX m Wh le o er the porch the branches twine ^WhL'J-S"^ '"'""'"& jessamine. Of^i^ ^'^ 't ^ant t' increase the measure But to advan elmcSr.^ ^"¥l ""Y^^l' And such he was about to prove ^''^' The'Jr? ^'^"^^ ^^' ^ ^^^ ? For this he left his stately col^eS ^' ""^ ''''°" ^"^ °^ ^°-^- To pass hist n Jal vSo'n"^ """-^^ of Lowledge, From his o'cr-iuling cares relea^'H «» P ^v *^ """^ ''"'■''' recreation And Syntax here pIrWd £ Jl vHft '!fh''.'""« » Pa"sh Priest • • In the indissoluble^ tie" WI l1,'1.^? "fi*>' f"™'' """ e,' The merry'peal awoke the Zl '""°""' ^'^''^ ^«"«i'-y' Anrf fnl'''''f,"'«"' d°y ; A scf„: «L"g ~&^ But fr|„dship,,ove ,nd harmony: That D,cky Be,rd, ^?ith sucC wTwould find",!!? °"' ^ '""-^ ^°^^< ^ Syntax th' important deVd had done "'" ^"°'' "^ "^^• The last greXrhTtevief '"StI .0 He on the wedding-Sul eve ^^'^ * "'^"'^ ^ "'O- Of Bride and Bridegroom took his leave S'u';^'"/''™^ neighb'ring inn's abode ' S?"'?',^^^'«d on a turnpike road, * pPi'?"" ^5""^'' "iiveyance find. Their time I^ idle" pas""' """'^l^'l Y^""^' -The D^^ctS'not lontfo^'ift" °" '"^ P™™'''^ S-s. He a convenieStirgth^SP'" 'ptf '^.^^'''l = A"d, having safe arrived in totn, '^ H*c£e»?=' H%''f <^^ *''^ £"='''' ' Nor had the busy following day In val^ „. ",,'' ^' "^'^ ^« down For free'from theVreW S/Sn""" ^'"^ P''"'" "^y- He found repose in Thavies Inn, ' Ifhe H /(-'^-iorSSerrutt^^^ Ortts1?veW,;%P,- - *'"<* iJr 'Vs wide polemic field ; Such as he thought fould sc^.? e' beZfnd" "' ^""^^^^ ^^"' -Whether y.Ji'" "i.^ ^"y'^ "">?'« bound. Whether he thus the scene om„i,^„„ r._V-__ .. 1 erhaps, a future page may tcJl. ' ilf SEARCH OF CONSOL A T/O.^. CANTO VII. 237 His busy cora'uonTan"^ "■''""'^^ ^".f '^"°'''' Which might be prudent he should tak^FLf'".^ P'easant gen'ral plan, Or, he indeed felt nothing loth ff ,L m" °^di version sake -Thus he in contempla? "e mood Th. V'^"?. '"^^^'"^' ^^^^ Pursue And, with hand lifted to h^s ^e T^^ ^^'^^^ ^^^^^^e trod " I shall not co/nt'each fleeting y^af "''' ''''' ^^^^^^^^ ' An^ „. ^'"^^ ^^^""^ fortune calPd me here ' And gave me more than humble clain? t. . r • r fo'-th^^i. d^^r^t'l-e^e^™^^^^^^^^^ To pettifogging worlcs whic£ I^ ' utfZl^ "?"'^ "''''='' ' ^"J"/ -It is a d,,)^'"! ?r',™'P' »<> contun« y- ""' "= f^""" ^ "^''^'^ eye^ It is a duty which I owe Tn ,11 .«, Their kind smiles on my rhyminir toil And ^„ 1 '^^''^^"' "''" ''"tow Who patronise my labours pa^ ^ A^aZI '^'^^^ "^ ■'■dnight oil, Nay, well I know it is not long They'll Lv^S."?™'^" "'= '° ""^ '»" The wintry note m^'st soo'n be"'e ''"=^'">y^™ningsong: But >tis r.yX:tr!^.r'''^ ^' ^""X^- , Nor let a spurious Syntax claim Their A ° ''"'°''' "'^ ''""I deceit, Nay, such as in ill-fortune's spite The r«r « I ^>'"'^f "^^<='' "'™te These scribes I'll fa^iiot toex^ose^'""'' """" "<" ''"'«- Do in one a^^fi^'e'^^rree '"'"> """^ '%-™;'|^ '"f.. To.speak out, there is noTonc'e a,"g '"' ^°' ^""^^ "^ ■"=. And ho„es.T?^^i'm'eT;:i^'i'„nt'rn"Vt'rl' . To?efl ?°r "^F^ *"" s^ei^dt ■p\"„'^^"'"'' ='-'='g--"' Of all his hSrv li^l' ^"^""^^ ^' Sommeiden, "^ ' That'a'^l&i'etnTilTol, Di^^s^'ofif J""- '« *-" '-' ; And that in fourfee"' ^f^i" .!!'!i.°"S 'mg'ring journey crowi,: "^™"'d.addresshis&;?w';X'home. This brief, domestic business o'er. He took his hat and pass'd the door ; *38 TltE TOl/R Of DOCTOR SVMTAX With the umbrella 'neath his arm To guard him from all sho^v'ry harm ! He walk'd the streets with wond'ring eye And busy curiosity, To sec what pow'r and wealth had done, \Vhile all those tranquil years had flown, Since he by fortune's guidance came, And gain'd that share of honest fame, ', Which talents such as his could claim : * And while he ne'er from virtue swerves, Virtue may own that he deserves. — He stroU'd about, nor could he pass A street, where in some pane of glass, He did not calmly smile to see His own delightful effigy. All this he tliought look'd wondVous well Had he another work to sell ; For though he now was quite at case And calls for cash no longer tease j Yet still he thought his idle time. Might have enlarg'd, by prose or rhyme, If with due care and thought pursued, The faculty of doing ^ood. And as the great historian tells Whose pen's delightful style excels The writers of the present age, Who have fill'd up th' historic page : That while he 'mid the arches stray'd Of Rome's proud fanes in ruins laid. His glowing comprehensive mind That great presiding work design'd, Which m each future age's eye Will give him immortality * — Thus, if in this capricious state. Small things may be compar'd with great, Syntax amid th' o'ervvhelming noise Of rattling wheels, of men and boyr>, With the rude hurry of the street, Which did his various senses greet. Thought on a work, whate'er it be. Which is a secret yet to me ; But if he lives, the world will sea —Nothing, indeed, escaped his view. He saw St. Dunstan's men strike two. And walking on he look'd around To see what more was to be found ; Wlien on a door was fix'd a book. In which he felt dispos'd to look, And saw, amidst the noisy din. There was a sale of books within. This he presum'd would form a treat, So in he went, and took a seat. As far as he could judge or see. There was a curious company ; Authors, booksellers, and what not Had in the place together got ; Though, here and there, he seem'd to ken A little lot of gentlemen, W ho sometimes gave a book to run As it appear'd from vexing fun, And rais'd a work above its price. To tease a tradesman's avarice ; While those same worthies of the Row, Would pay the gents a quid pro quo. The sale went on, and books knock'd down From fifty pounds to half a crown. Syntax in musing silence thought On what was sold and what was bought ; And let his keen reflection trace How solid learning chang'd its place ♦ Edward Gibbon. IN SEARCH OF CONSOIA TlOtf. 2 ^ Some Authors by the hammer's fint vv^..« . ^ , T.ou,Ms^e^,. ...^,^, H^^ even ,„„,. .,„, At length the solemn auctoneer DlrlV.. • u » All gilt, and in morocco green. Ft for l'.' 1 ''"'^, ""- ^"'"^ "P^^ar, I know not why so very f.ne Thourrlu SvnM ? '"''V'^"'*' "^^ ^"een But now I si.ll?nost surefy IL^T'^ '^'' ^'"^'^ ^^ ^^'"^ ^ What to fan- truth the work doth owe And nuhl.V r tor here its value I shall see ' iR li '^ fancy may bestow ; Its value was most warmlv stated Tfc a 1 , ^ ,^1''^^ °^ flattery. Its humour, ve^sf^nl mora/^o^t"^ '^^^"^^ ^^^^^-^-'^ Kr.A A 1 ,j , "^^" ^° S''^^^ ''^"d lauc^hing hours ' '"' ^^^^!:^^ -^^K., 3?^ -^^'—"e^ The money to be paid by you'' ' "^ '^^''^ ^' '^^° P°""d two, Tir?^^J.^^'~" ^^"s ^^""e is reas'ninff most abcii.r^ Why, Sir, I never spoke a word "'^' I might have nodded twice or thrice. To see the book fetch such a price : S^^;^\r.^!;tlfrflL-- --.Piling,. But that had noVght'trdVwkh bifyin£r'' :eR.-" Nodding is biclding, In ev'ry auc.io1;"Sm1n''L^;""A°^d"f,l^!:i:'5l'"^• ^'O ^dl known SVNTAX.-"I k" ow s mh e it?, '' ?"■' " >""' O""-' ^ ^^ But you will neve- °ay bou "ht7t "'' ^ "'""^ "' Nay that wci d be a scurw irirt y; ="' "• If my nods bought l^'-L sat' Why norsf° i^f^ ^'""'"^ ='* For the same book I could not bid 4 i ,'i^ "'^ <=o'n «o pay. Besides I safely may express Thnf !,» . ^'^°S' I""'' ^e if I did Were I at any {ime to X ' ^'''" ^^ '"'"> '•""'. "j^ Work possess. Would give .ie copies half a score ''"""' '"'""'"y- TheDoct^;'LLX'ro's^^7i;e%r"'Sft: .. Nor was hfs person sooner kno™'' ^""•°""*"S "^o^Pany. Nay. a, he didThrcSrex'';:]^,,^^''"' "t^L^oI" •■ While on its pa^e''";.as madlaMt"' ""' ^"'"P "«-»» Wlfi fi,-™"''^ J"" '"""'^'^ '''s name,' Wheti this same autograph was found * ^JiJ^^ , P?"=^ another pound, When 'twas knock'd down for three pounds tl.r^. Th?n ^^'^^^^r's daily business done^ '''*^ The Dnrtor prov'd a source of fun 243 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And then, discarding all restraint, T.1I ^A f I" h\inVrous guise and language quaint, Talk d o'er his blunder frank and free, 'Jo aid the circle's pleasantry He now assum'd a crmc look And as he turn'd from book to bool Proy d by his words, that, great and small. ' A . , , ,^9 H"^^V' ^^ ^^ ^^^^'J ''cH them all : And shew d his learning was profound. To the attentive list'ncrs round. —A Bookworm Kni-ht the Sage addrcss'd. And thus his invitation prcss'd : Doctor, I speak it a la Icttre, I should be glad to know you better • And if you'll come with me and dine ' 1 11 give you ven'son, give you wine. And for dessert, we will compare My rich shelves of editions rare Such, as when you have look'd them o'er '""'"""^ ^^'e, Ti T> '^^"'^^ ^''^>' yo" never saw before." * And view your literary treasure : ' Ir/^;^^f tdh^'Teve?Soet'"'^'''''\ ^^T.''^' '^'''''' '^"^ '''' ^rain, T^f VkT,, fi ' Y P *' ^"^ ^"^^ a certain way to shew it That they their forces must augment With some ^ethereal nourishmen • But any siniple Tom will tell ye, The source of life is Tn the Sy' From whence are sent out those supplies, ^' Without whose propriate sympathies, We should be neither strong nor wise : For the main strength of ev'ry member Depends upon the stomach timber ; And if we would improve our thought TV TT ^^ "^"^^ ^^ ^^^ ^s we^^ as taught. J', en Horace boasts his power to shine, When aided by Falcrnian wine And other bards, if bards speak true ^aicinian wine, When they could get it drank it too." Syntax was now well pleas'd to find A treat for body as for mind • While, with all his gen'ral knowledge. Or of the world or^of the cd eoe The Book-worm Knight was quite delighted. "' ^xr^. ^ . And thought how it might be requited : T?e^r"ea^7eaTul^eT^^^^^^^^^^ " ' FTmrdl^oci'er; " ''''''' IhouM Ts *^h '°%^^ ''"''''' ' ^'"^ '• ^""" m^'alTe'anVmrwI^e Should, as I hope. Sir, suit your taste. Let not a day, I beg, be past While you're in town and have the leisure ^ ,„. , To me 'twill be a real pleasure, ' Without your coming here to share. Such nc it ,-c tv.„^„M r nut still I must rr.ysflf explain, That you may not Iil7ertl'n''vr 1"5 ".°lL*iS'?,rA Vou my friend, Must m^.e^t^'^^jT^l t'ncrs round. irnian wine, AV SEARC/r OF COXSOLA TION. , , , To raise their hopes, to sooth their grief And therefore I've a two fo W 1 ' rr^^" '^^ '''^^ ^'^i" the pencil hold I here present you wthfbook"^ Upon your heart and on'you na fe' Nor do J fear ^ou will deny ' '^yt^'' ""'' ^'' ^'^''^^ to 10^ Syntax.-" Pvc known rmn?? ^''""?"'^^. ^' ^^is charity." I've felt the timo uJ.o? \^ ^ ^"'' ^^^at 'tis to want • Nor am I backward to XUri'' ^''^-^h ^^'1^ scant ; And look abou TJiursa'L'^^d et" ^^'^^Jnll""^^ "^^' ^"^^^ ^' «-ve, I would from my example teach n , .iV f. ^ '''"' s^i-rounding penury The Ileav'n!;:^;^^^^^ ^h.^^, "-Devoutly I have lov'd the arts ^ Which own fh^ "/'"''' •''"'?"& ^he grateful hearts To this same feast I will renaTr ""'^ ''^ '^^ '■^''^'' ^'^^^^ - Syntax, be sure, will meet you there " — 1 lius arts and artists were befriended And here the conversation ended ' Ihe Doctor sought a wclcoi>^.. .,.;'k ^^^",f,^;^J?dK'ngsboreha.back' nl K r S' ^;""ter'd sat or s: ouj, °°'*' DDubtfuI what course he shoi i^ r. suo His noble I^^ZoX^^^^^^r: ' / Had so,ne .S s^JdeTcned tow? '""""' "'"' ""'"-'d. So he de.erm^'d°o'"re;eT"'"'"'" ^ZJT '', So kindly offer-d, nor ^Xy ^' "''=0 "n ''?•■ "'" ''"'™'"y '^e^, Hut the nice blunder of our saw A , ,„i,; ''T?'''" 5 hospitality Had of the auc.ion'^form'd a tale """"' '" " f"""^' P^s'- And by thisTto^\tZ^',t:'°''''-'"^l,r>^r^'' ' -This as the berrang ou't for'p^ I'y's"^^ ="-'" - '<>-. When Patrick Iffflj^Sr-dt "^"^ •?" "" '''■'''=' And rather vulgar s^lmS "' BeirtE' SkM'?' "'"' ^'"' S"'" "It was with pleasure, Sifvvchea ''"''"■ ™"^"^»"on. And as you?^ T dr^e'ma'-;""'' '"'PrT'"' ' We who well U^^Z -pui^i^r '"" "^'"'" '""*' ys a fine th^e 'sir'^.o^'le't ^o'ose"" "'\°"f -"' Or to instruct ii, cv'ry way °°'° V^'l^rL^^ ""' y°"". °^ "> »muse A hint to you, Sir, may suffice : You must „„'J",i'"""; P™ '"^P'-'')'- And take care that your acUve S """ "^^ o^r-nice^ ^•uc-s not approach too near the wind • y long experienc'd nob v^^^J r i been, in such various *" Thus, i] Which way, Theobject^ofiVbusyTy^ 16 242 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Since I was in the quick emnlov nr « r» i n , And rose from the "nferbr gSsJ OHm^^'tY' «"-''."d-''°y. Which work'd «'p by' such men'as1'o"u!' '" *'" """""^ "«- One half the world will think them true • -We only ask, if the intent ' '°"' Can Sape an^^^ TtT-ll^'t' We've but to think, and with good^reasonr •'"'^"'"" • What misdemeanour is and treason : Tul's re^aTscrfbthi'/rdtrd'e'ed TAV!' ^"^ ^*^' '^ ""' ^ ''^^■ ixn *• Wh^^t of me you have ever heard, ' rs'o^"ppJseTlToutdS:L M ^° ^'"^ ^^ ^^"^^ «^-^-^y. And tC degSy base^t^a^r' "' ''""'"' "^ ^'^^'' Whate'er they be, my mind and parts- The bounteous gifts of God and nature. For tl.,,^ T-T ^}'^^^.}>^^spheme a kind Creator ? t or thus Heav'n's gifts to m sapply i= iit,ip ^u^^. ^r , , , —Listen, I bid you to that hHl t i . ^'^^ P^ blasphemy. , uiu yuu, lo mat Dell I understand ts lantjuaire well I speaks of death-it is a knell, ° ^ ^^'' Which has just call'd some spirit home. To quit this life for worlds to come— And m the course of some few hours A 1 1. , ^^^^"^ summons may be vours • And where the devil do vou see Will fiw.« ' -n wTh'^ar//;t;t^f«5?r^^^^^^^^^ -VOU.U let it wXr„7our brainT ttr^ ^^^KtS And more at large the scheme explain." ^ '"' nK^'u^t''- ^'7' ^ ^^ P^^^^nt have a scheme Of which you neither of you dream. ihat you shall down those stairs betake you As fast as my man Pat can make you." ' vufJ'T '''^' ^'''?"' ^"^ ^"s strong arm, Tj J , ^^^ associates with alarm ; Head-long and side-long down they went, wi -1 t> .. • 1 f y completed their descent ; While Betty with her mop and pail On the mid-stair case did not fail With wcll-apphed and furious dashing, ^ * ' Vellum who'^v^ar.^^^ltC^^^^^""^;^^^^^^ .- „ . He had the aucdon story heard "" ^"' ^'' """"^^ '^^'' '' And brought his hopes to be orefen-'d ffls7rhStl^:;ri.rr' ,, ^y "£^ -- profits might be got, Wiien^n'nalirn^'' T'""''- "'"f^ ""^ '*^^ moment of the riot, vvnen squalling, swearing, rattling, lumblinff » « * " > Ihesc pettifoggers came down tumbling ^' 3 errand-boy, printing lies, pt and print, :essary coin. Parliament : 5 not a libel, re proceed." s of infamy, er, my race, blasphemy, guagc well, easure be." ot satisfied, old to you. call again, M be got, cy taught, rn of gain. )f the riot, /^V SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION. Upon him full, with all their weight So hat he harmless shar'd their ffl . 343 c^ ^\ 1 1 , ' "■" ^" "^"Cir weip^ht So hat he harmless shar'd their fate • And coming with a fair intent ' The noise ^r^^^^^^^Jtl^f "- "--t. Ti>ree boolcsellers, t^ogeiSer found Sm4wli''„''°''= P'^^l^^Se floor reeeiv'd y,h"e -i^out hat™fg,1>'J'Smbrf,l"ar" ""= ''""-S.ound , With horrid^oa'^J^^nVd^lrthrets^'^r^f '^""'^ And calls on Syntax to premre fL. ^^ "^^''^'^bles and magistrates While Pat stoo'd on the taSg-plfce ^Vilh IT,?^'''^'^' the°Mayor ! This strange and^bfu^tVinrtostk SeT"'"° '" '"^ '••"^^• And had reSv^nSJ - S^ -'-3cd =1' :: Know you t'K'e'nAC d'I lor'LiS"''^ "^ '^^'"^ '"^ Into a vioIenc^eV/trtJ ""^^^-n betra^"'"' Vellum.-" o I vvas ISn ^1 "^l'^" ""f ™™^ ™y <^lo"i •" _ , I^" should I weep if U,ev,lrrh„VM'"''*"S'd, For I suspect they are the snmr. t(,. ""^..i^^Sd ; And 'tis apparent';vith 1' vieT' NoTib'^Jaf t,^,^"^ ^"P'^^'^'' "=""= ! Though ,t appears the knavish trick Hasn,-,H!l,f ""f ", """''' P"'^"<=, Syntax-" Ne'er mind Ji^? ^' '??"'. ""= public sici;.'! And cahnly let the matter pass- F„r m ■ r , "-^r.rSr/ ^^if ^^ellunf^J J^A-llT' ^ ^-- ^ - ass. And Pi- ^^^^^^^^ Or some ni^!^:^{Si:^ learning .aughtf A dealing I should hope to drfve" ''""'' ^"^ ^"" ^^ ^^it, ^yjv^liich our mutual gains mi-ht thrive PerlJn.'^'"'-'^''^"'^^' ^'-"^^ alive- '^^"'' mhaps Sir, m your country fancies You have compos'd some other dances Your Dance of Life and Dance of DeaJh Have added foliage to the wreath '^ That binds your brow. But I could tell Where morbid fancy takes the rule A^^ i ' '""f """ ^°'- mortal ills And ^.r^JB?.'^^^^)" '■■ip through ev'r? co'.tk -But ■,;;..;:;::_:••? !!'?-^'" "^wis Of Serjeantsii the Temple Halls* •Butmatnmonyf what supply One of the men-y topics of antiquari..n knowledge. Of infinite variety i6 — a W I 244 T//£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Docs it not to the Muse nrf^-^f^nf c\c • t . Of happy Hansen, ^^ Xoo often f/e^TSgMilT^Sl'glS' And give new pictures in each stage, ^ ^ ' n ti,;. ylJ^ smihng youth to snarhng age ! O this would do excuse the hint, With all ySur wit and sketches in't - I'll tpV*. ^\.. , 1 , "s^Paper, plates and print ; 1 11 take the ti^ouble and the care And e^ual profits we will share." WhI T r -^^'P ^^'^"S^ 's curious I must own :- When I, my fnend, was last in town, You thought me poor and friendless too. And lookd for homage you deem'd due ;t rom comless bards to men like you : Till r. ^....(-A^ >'0"r purse-proud spirit woke, Till a great friend that spirit broke. But now, good Vellum now I see AnH w ^°"' purse-proud pride will bow to me. ' '' For know t£ diff Vence is a^ ^t Between our rSl nTge^^S= As regions where the planets glow, ^ ' And, those you tread, with well-shod toe. Ti, IT . ^^^/ealms of Paternoster- Row. The hfe <>%-!;- wnie,t^^^^^ The passing time's remotest end. wime yours with all your golden crop ' Will not outlast your groaning shop. Wealth IS the work of worldly art, Whil i Heaven's dispensing powers impart 1 hose gifts with which inspired nature A J 1 .J , .^^-^riimates the human creature And bids his native spirit soar To heights of thought unknown before. Kings may make Lords and tricks may thrive liut Heav'n alone can Genius give ' —Now if your brain and mine were sifted. How would our sev'ral sculls be gifted ? Yours would be full of golden schemes,* aaJI-i^^t ? with money-getting dreams : While I should hope that mine might prove The seat of visions form'd by love He shall its honest fortune guard. ^ ' ouch is the promise you receive." ""-Vellum bow'd low and took his leave. The day soon came when Bookworm's call ^ feummon'd him to Free-n, ons' Hall A num reus company appear'd, The sev'ral toasts were loudly cheer-d • Disnlnvc .f -^""^ f^^' ^'^ ^^^^ c^^"^Jy heard ^ ^^^"^ ' iJisplays of various eloquence. Renl^tP wiM, «roK«, .«j _._, . . sketches in't ! ini, now I see «4S iN SEARCH OF CONSOLA TION, ^,. He rose, his modest silence broko • Ax^a fi,, *i , I. who presume not to impart Th^.^ ' I, who wit) we'ak and errinlhaS"^"^^ °^ ^^^ ^"^^^ "^ art ; rhe pencil's humblest powers commnn^ ^ timid mind exno.. ^ ^f .^.^^^"'^"^ J T 1 . ,^ V^ h"-"^iia iiumoic I, who, with timid mind expose Whose elevated genius sways Have but one object to pursue, Tis not improving art to teach f "/.^i^ted to my rank and state Winch the ingenuous arts possess In strengthening the moral sense ' My undigested thoughts to tliose The rising arts of modern day"; A suh,W^ f 'dressing me to you A subject far beyond my reach • On those high powers to dHale; In fav ring human happiness By their impressive influence • Wer imnarf ^^ ' While thpv f C • • ^y *"e"" "T wniie they the improving power impart . To quicken and to mend the heart To animate by powers combin'd PktuUnf.-. • . And soften, when well understood ''"' '" *^" "^"'^^^ Manners, till then unform'd and rude * w?'""^^ i^' 'f'^' ^^'^" I^^o^vn in story And was at^cVt^i ^4^ td^^f Tf fjT^^' When the fine arts in Sdianc tne""^"'' ^"^^^^ ^^^> And ere the^^^ri ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ' To this bright wit it did appear TlmTvV^^^^ "P ^° V""^^ ^^^^^e : Does not so soon affect the heart Ac J 1 "^^^"^ '^'^ list'ning hear. ; I shall not:t!^^e' to sttthe^^^eLTe '^ -^-^-^-^.t Which the p'^r dt^tir^^^ca;^'^^^ ' Tis not for^ny weakVoS to st^^' tnto tha?^^^ ^^i^ ^^^ ^^^-^e ,- Where arts of the remotest age Vav on fh^ ^"""^^"1'' ^'^^^''"g '^^Y Present, in figure, form and ffshion Th. f ''"'■'''" ^^^'^^ the sage. And shew each hero known n s or^ fet ^r"'' ?^ ^^''^ "''^^'«" .t:]':"ri^„!!-,.d--y -ims of frowst, ^IVX^}IT. ?l:^^^ s'-y ; ,.r. , fi'tsicra wall Of mv pi With Alpine heights and icy vales Wh.le the big mountain-torrent's course Descending with impetuous force ' OS the astonish'd channel fill ^^' ^ i • Aay more the scenes of human strife Of fv "^ ^ "'^^'' ^'"''^ >'"• The ocean's or the tented view ' nf^^T^^ variegated life. Nor these alone, the poet's fire Tinnc fi, I , ^^algar and Waterioo.' And shews, as we the^though pursu^ tL^^^^ ""'^^'^ ^'-^"^ "^^Pi'e But I must leav? ti^se^o^ers^f afl""^" "^^ '''' P-^'°-- To those who can their charms imnnrf . - Tngenuas didicisse fideliter artes Fm^tiv ♦ c. • . . *^'"°"'' mores nee sinit esse feros Ov.n t Sesmus »rntant animos demissa per aures n.. per aures, Quam qu» gunt oculis suhjecta fidelibus. •HoR. Aks. Poet 246 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Who can with truth and nature tell « Tf tT,.n ;k "'l''''^^' "^^'^^ they J^'How so well What hav h:;no?a ril^Ttrn "' 'rT/^^ T^^ ^^ P^-^'' ^^ doing good And much it do'th my hefr delth^ ""^ '?^''">^ '^^f, ^ ",d hones? S? tkI ^i^' "?»v n. enjoy them both. When, fronu he eye ^he'^oXf St "? P''^^^'^' , Thus d^o'tL'i^r'^^'l^i^ Si rb,rc ™P™^^' "■' "-"• Whether the'^^r o7Sie^"'= P™"^ -« V ' , Or weaken'd by the slow decay That v...,2\x^i^ eccentricities ; -O 'tis enough-an artist g^e^veslnrstrSt^^^^^^^^ ^"1-^?^"^ ^W Are Art's young offspring in distre.f? wf • '^ ^'''''^ relief receives. No narrow^ cofd exc^ptK made ' "^'^'Prn-P^'^P^C^^^^'^^^- Th' expansive wishes to apply ' t^ f"*"^ ^^T'.'" ^^^^ '^vade For You direc??tT noble aim " '^'"'""^ ^'^' ^^ ''^^''^' To All, 'mid Fortune's frowns, who claim Ti, . .., ?''°''' weeping Art a well knovvn name -Thetott-nn^ease.^^^^^^^^^ With to. r l^^^^^^^^^^^S^' '^-''' With tearful eye, that doth not know a ♦ • • Ye wretched come, and dry the tear Ti.h ^^^^"^^'^ation to its woe. And O may Heaven, with ray divine in''^'^- ^'^ termination here ! And, year fo year, may be renewT 'ti.. fJrj"^*^ ^^^ ^°^^ ^^nign ; -Thus may the arts of Bnt^.m^ Jsle BenL.h'f P^:''Vi^oing good I Thus may we hopt ^vi^n^H^p^otct! "'"^^ ^ bountysmile! That native'^enTus'tirUn'lre' '"L^d'f -^^ . -^Thus I pieT^e^'Wn^dlt leS,' '''' "^^^ "^^^ ^--• And wJfTi 7. ^""^T '''\^ ^^^ Christian Priest : And, with a two-fold zeal, nrefer t .i • My prayers to the Ali nVhtV nnwpr t« 1 1 J-^ .\^ ""'^^^ character, And, havingffiP™7S^S,g gi: *'^ "^'"™"^' f"'^' "o"' I leave the rest to faVring Heaven"' w2;ta^,itt^^ra^p^,-f= "^ ^- H|4|%Si- -Eilr- " was an Ho. a,o„e. An^ r„o^ Indeed, he might have look'd around And .ade p^^^^.^. he ?ound out such another. Here h- meTa'lf H.inf T k""'''' =','"' S<'°'i"«= dwelt. -Whelerhi's 7ofJ:5 lil^"?'""' Wi'h constant kindness over-kind. T_ .,. r:. . •• 6-» i" tuis mcandring scene be'ovv, He never will, in all its din, Jsy to and fro, ''orget the good of Thavies Inii. /V SEARCH OF CONSOLATION/. 247 oves the heart, At length, howe'cr, the time was come, When he engag'd to be at home ; Desides a letter from the Lake Did on his town amusements brcik It seems, a worthy wealthy Kniglit, Sir William Constant he was h giu ^ Gentle yet brave humane and free, Who might have shone inchiva ly If he had liv'd in those hne gay days, ' When champions tilted for the ladies • Disdainful of each flatt'ring art, Had made the offer of his heart To the fair Heiress of the place, Adorn'd with ev'ry female srace And soon the secret was made known, ^ ' That she, sweet girl, return'd her own.' The Doctor, as she upward grew. Had fill'd her mind with all it I ew - Her film love was scarcely more, Than that she to her mast Vbore • Nor would she tie the holy bands Till he return'd to joL^?e; hands* tr^X^ uV''"" ^^'''' ^^^""^J ^"^ q"'"^d tovvn tha very day And at Its hasty journey's end He pass'd the night with Dicky Bend' For his return he then prepar'd, And Punch and Phillis were no^t spar'd He thought and rode, and rode and thought Till a few days the travellers brought * To where was offer'd to their view Keswick's broad Lake and waters blue • While the old tower, with many a bell, Did loudly their arrival tell • And on the hill and in the glen Gladness enliven'd Sommerden Smiles beaming on each lively face. The fond salute, the warm embmce Did every pleasing thought recall. And all was joy at lvZ^/^//a// —Pat, found his dame with ruddy cheek • "^ ^ His laughing babes were fat and sleek ; ' IT J ., ,.Y^^^^^ through the foUowfng curious week, He daily did attention draw. To what he'd seen or never saw • With truth, or tales, or merry blunder, ' ^^^ ^^^'^ *^^ gaping folk with wonder : And Pat, no more a pavior he Now wore the Doctor's liverv At length arriv'd the happy day, ^'^^• For all was joy, and all were gay, Twas Hvmen's glorious holidav ■ When was prepar'd within the grove. The feast of Hynienea lov^e.' —In all due form the knot was tied ; . Th' exulting bridegroom and the bride In nuptial figure soon appeared. The assembled village loudly cheer'd And as the plenteous feast be-an, ^ * The board was crown'd, the vessels ran, From whence the foaming cups o'erflow'd • _, , And ev'ry breast with pleasure glow'd. ' -The happy Syntax took the chair. Beside him were the wedded nair While near him all in sm:ung state The 'Squinj and his Mada sate' Who never had such pleasure known ' Since such a day had been their own. liie dinner o'er, the Dnrfnr mcA a«^ ,i;,i *k„ 1 . /• t. . Health to the bridegroom and the bride. And ^v'ry other good beside :* O may they live from life till death, As ^/tey have liv'd who gave them breath And now we leave you to be gay, I THE 70UR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX Bu , when that joj-ons ti„,c was o°cr Syntax resum- iT.T^;;' 7 H,""^''' """-'^ ''=f°^«- Again the Rect^ hl^e^^^t \,ain >hc'st''?'' "'f'' »"™=«'-™. Looky on fc^ LUurcycf to come ' " "'' ""P'"^'"' ' And fdt ag., that-iioLis was "oks. t'l^D OF THE TOUR OF DOCTOR :VNTAX IN SEARCH OF CgtfSOLATlON. en's holiday." ^e animation, rs employ'd ; THE TOUR OF THE REVEREND DOCTOR SYNTAX IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. c w Ar Th Ou Ee Ind And And Whe Or in THE TOUR OF THE JiEVEREND DOCTOR IN SYNTAX SEARCH OF A WIFE. CANTO I. "^^^^:i^T^J^%,^:^%;^;^^r ,„e .hH, reason gi.„ Does wan. disiu,bTeVvy'tS,'^,r"P'^»^"'-=^"°"^S A.id calm enjoyment's rareirfounrf? 7^^," y no' tliis answer meet the?ir Where, by tIJ i^fd'l,-' ^^'^Pr'"'^" '''-: And then ou™?S^^^-^^fXy"S?l5^^^^^ T- J'l'""= «'Perience sage has safd a"^"^ pkiisuK will succeed That happy ho„„ „,y ^g „J3^ ;.d, And as a real truth pourt'ray'^S; Our own or some de^ fi.l"'f.''V.^''''>' ''^nish sle» f' ' Ecnwhi,eUmT„jTo!i'rbt:''-=^L"i:e^.??-^/'""-ghapplness: ,, . T^bVa'So^rni^rr "^"'^^^^^^^^^^^ Indeed, we must the tr„°h confess"'"""?,' , And as ourf °7j;:T;ufn',""^^ ''"'' t^^ "f P'ace, ,fef P°«ession's presenut r*!'*"'" '" '"^"'n. view. And O'er a s^^ertot^il'dSSd Wth .._If you ask vvhern d-^"^^.?" ^^^^^"^'^^ our present annH Whetherin—S-V-fr^'"^^^^^^^^^^^ " """" 2S2 1 i j T//£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Say docs it crouch 'neatli Cupid's wiiiu. Nr .!-• . ^'"P^'^>'"PO" t^^e minstrel's strinff? Whene cr you gaze from mountain's brow * ^^■^« see him in the vale below 0r Jligh or lo., .j^u^'cr our >„;, J- ,. ',;r ot ri7d":;^t- IJut dimly seen, where wc are not ^ ' Broken with toils, wiih arms opprest, \xi\. 1 , ■ ^°'^'^'" *^^'"^s the u.erchant blest. Who calmly sits at home at ease, While fortune, with her fav'ring breeze Wafts hmi her treasures o'er the seas ' And when the threatening tempests rise. ' War IS my choice the merchant cries • 1 he weaned lav, yer 'midst his books, ' With gapinp yawn and pallid looks, Longs to bu • lands and country-seat Whil. oc f J°/"'^- h'"\.he.'lth and calm retreat ; While as th' admiring client's eye lichnlrlc: H,n Of stately forms and'the gay measure ^"^^ '^'' ""''' """^^^ xuu- u u Ofeachembroider'd scene of pleasure Nor glutted a™ic^e& ^^^ \" pt" i'rr?ote'a?,tl SearV If fortune's gifts you truly rate, ^ "' J hen tell me what would mend your Ma^e The miser's fears increase th nore '' k?^-PP'?«f">^ P°!'" i» view? nnean the real and the true • ' bid'^s : there. Asmuch,atIeasVasVe7i;T„'ow„ ToV^lS'^nTo cThLTj tctii lembra labore. • O fortuaat, •ner<:atores ! gra. k amis , Miles ait, multo ja.„ Lontra Mercator, navim jactantibus Austris Momento cita mors venir anf Ci/.'. ,:„ i"f ■■-'^"""•' cono;irntoi' ; hor. Solos feliccs vivcqt« clania. ,.; urb?. ' ^* ''*'^''"'' *!"' '^''^ «traclus in urbcm crt,' HoR. Sat, Lib. j. •! D^ SYNTAX SETTING OUT IN oEARCH OF A WIFE. Tc Bu in 1 Am Wh Thu Hei And The> Nor I They Nor ( With And i Some — Bes I see When I leco Nay I Than Nay, r This ii Nor pi ii men I must No/ fe IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. ^^X To shine and glitter all in trnM t« i • , \V^:al^h .0 enj„';„*-„°J''' '» P""'' A J r ,V",'=,so"rce of idle discontent? And after »Vt'^ this same folly That serves to make me melancholy. 1 is plain then, I have nought to do, ^ gut these weak symptoms to subdue. P rom this dull slumb'ring to awake From these disheart'ning thoughts to break, io torm new schemes, to leave ofrtalkinjr, And set my belter mind a walking." Here Syntax paus'd and silent stood, In grave and contemplative mood, When ancient Madge, who wound the reel. And gave the movement to her wheel rowrds Heaven appeai-'d to cast her 'eye nij Tv;r ^'^^ ^'^^ ^ ^^<^P ''^"d lieart-felt sigh. And was xyell pleas'd to have it known. ^^ ' What stations she had held in town ; Would gravely boast where she had been, In .hnrf nf fi *"" ^^'^ ^^"^ ^'^'"S:s she had seen : it^fn^^;^d'srreLr" ^'^^..t''^' t r^^"^^ ^ --^ -^- rr.„.,„ i:i , . „" ^^^'^^^ . . Vvliat was her lot in married s^^*- • . ..«= ...,-c ;v.at ornor. ,...i ^ho trv liieir cl,;,nr. in n^arria^ l^tv! But time had pass'd full ....u.y u y, bince she first shed a widow's tear many a year, 'If SEARCH OF A WIFE. ^$% And now she rul'd in due deirrro ti,„ i.„ 11,-. Where she did all her duties tend I i^^^ household of the Rectory . And now old Margare ^gh'd ^ A, i?/if ™"i ' ?" '^ f"™'l' When s/n.ax thts uSne addtest'd- "''"'' "^' ^'"^ ' And wherefore doVr;ifryot??v'e'''A:,'t '""' '"■'^.^='' And ..vith kind feelings for her guide, "It is no' for'^ys'Sf-rsir""'" '^'"'^' T'h I could well scold you if I l°o"" '""'>'• '''' '" J'™- Vou may ke1pl^,?i:gt;,l7^rr"Vrwm ^/T^"^ ' , What is y°our f^^n'df^fani ^tr^llt '"" »°°''' "" ■"=-•• T,s nonsense all-I say, keep nfovingf' JJo you not hear what pleasures rcisrn Among the crowd on yonder plain > urM. ■'""' '"y ^'^'^ ^'"> 'hat odious chair With your grave meianchoi; air, AndS.l.„. ,• ., , See 'inidst the bustle' whatTsdo^" ' •""""" "' "'° f""- wt,„ 1. ^ °" ""^ ^l""'s and view the fun • O^ft^sTn^trtlSthtl^ Z' ""J^ef- -* "P»n your face. And from the happy people hear Tho , ^ ^^^^ of harmless reveh-y, Their honest pleLme^sZ I impart Jn Me. fo"^^^' ^'^'^ ^'^? }'''''y i'^ You know the joyTour'floc^ktLf^C'' ^^^"^^^^^^^^ ^^-"^ To vievv their much-lov'd pastor there ;- And when you sec how they receive it. nn no T ^°" " /^^^ '^ two-fold, you who give it Bo . I say you-a Hnd ^^^^^^^^^ /^LS ^ -'-- ^i.'.^ A Change of scene, a change of place. And .on ' tS^^^i'^ mS^-^ -1^.„„,,,„, ,,,, I'll e^ind'fT. fn 1^' ^'°" ^^' ^'^^'^^^ "^y ^ct'ran lady. Ml go and try to get a gay day ; ^' SurbVn^'n? T^"^ common-sense, that brought ^uch good advice into your thought. ^ To-mprrovv,ril clap spurs to horle, Tn /?;•?/ ^^""^ ^rr""^'^' ^^^'^ '^y course To ^///^ ^«;;^^/v«, who will greet me Yes, with h^;^Ll^S^l|^;,-[[^^^^^^ , w^^!^- -- --.H " biLkfast'dtr^"'' °^^-^^'^^^"^3-.» The Doctor'ci;;; virv^y^^uif^ ""' '"' ^r;, . ^. Bumpkin'^ Sw hail appeared h ''view '''^'"^ ^^'"•' °^ '^'^ When soon he saw its heartv hn^t i ' saw us lieai ty host Leaning most idly 'gainst a post, 256 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SY.MAX a And letting loose loud fits of laughter To see boys bathing in the water- Who with their splash of mud and mire " ^' Amus d the humour of the 'Squire Syntax, m sober solemn state, With Pat behind drew near the gate- And when he their approach espied, ^ ^ ' « Mv wnrfl, P ^""^P^^" <^J^PP'd his hands and cried ; M> worthy Parson is it you ? The same i' fackins. IVe in view Six months, I think, are gone and past ' '^'^' And more since 1 beheld you last ' Whate'er I knew I left at college, v«» • 1 -"^1^^ you like none but men of knowledge • And if your heart is out of tune, ^^ ^"*'''*'- Will make you long to stride the moon." —Not quite so high as that my friend, Jiut something which doth that way tend : Not quite so high," the Doctor said, ii;r 1 1 . , yet some choice enliv'ninff ?id My slacken d spirits have in view When I pay my respects to you • Per here, I'm sure, that humour gay ^ ^ ' And the Irank smile will crown the day You, my good-hearted friend, must know r\c r • i^ *^^"^^ °^"^y domestic woe. Of my friends too I am bereft. The Worthies have the country left And when they may return to cheer ^-oumry leit, My drooping heart doth not appear :— New scenes will other thoughts inspire. My means of pleasure you shall share : 1 II teach you how to banish care." Though Syntax did not trust the skill That such a promise would fulfil, He gave assent with nodding head. And followed where his leader led He took the Doctor through his grounds. Display'd his kennel and his hounds, 1 heir difi'rent ages, old and young, Their speed, their noses and their tongue : Then order'd forth his hunting stud, Dwelt on their merits and their blood ; While to their different feats, and more, The green-clad huntsman stoutly swore. He then described some arduous chase That did his Nimrod annals grace ; Show'd many a brush that cover'd o'er 1 iic puniCus oi the kt; Nor did a hero ever prize kennel door The trophies gain'd in victories. ■ I ^57 IN SEARCH OF A mfE l^^^ Bumpkin told the boasted nam. And sure, in'.?!! Ihi '^^r.^.'^Src,'"™ 4'^'"" '• I Icam-d not, .xj^ll^'^ J^' "'" her lord shc!^ru[cs u,c roa^ ' 'l.s true rem harshness I refrata ii,,/?,'"'? '';™>' '" Pl^X tl'C foo I For he who ventures on a vdfl ' "'" 'i<=" ' f^'^V^ hold the reh, : Should never this advice refuse °- ''°""'°" "^his life,' -Syntax histcy^olruii: ""' """^f"^ ^'"'"•" For it Ls knLn to great't" ^iS,"'-' '"'«'"^^ '" » '""'«• How h.ngs went on at Bumokin hL- But as her n,li„g ,Ji,,t ,X 12, Or^rrcSn r'f ^"^ ^''^ " "''y A,?d°fe°,^,:^:;=f[Sni',h""''''^'-'^"'-' inS sH'"' °" ™^ ^'s^o7S'r" ' " I donlif n^lJ^ °^ ""^ >'0"^ cares awav » ^' }|^&^^^^ -^> " ^ur .cipe .0.M be obey. ; liut for my kind physician's sake, I do not ukl '""'"^ ^^"*^ ^ ^"^^'e i hey talk'd, when soon he beS's f ,;"^ "^'^'^ ^^ ^^^'^'^k."' Nor was it P''^'^^''^,^' ^^ ^^ dinner time, ^''^' '^^"" ^^"nic By madam he vvari.P^Ju!''!'*^."!^ appetite had never f.i.'H' As, " How d've do P^nn/ ««^'^^"'''i'' 3th a perfect age aDoear k ^'^^ ^"^ ^^'-^^ed. ^' " "'-- - ^ '~. Anj :L-rj^tet^r;f-- J 17 It 258 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX ^^r/ff/'?/'^' {P^^yyou move the dish, « T 1 J T ^*^^^'f{P ^^^^ Doctor to some fish" 'Bumpkin, yvu think not as we dine, ' 1 hat some J oiks love a glass of wine:' I have not seen you for an hour, " //i.^, riftltmy life uf^^ "" '" ^^"^ '^^^ ^-y" Mnh. hn., ^"""J'"}"^ S}^''t'^ plate has nothing on it: And does tl-e qualities^^^^^^^^^^^ Some may think one thing, some another: "'' ^ ^'"PP'""^- ^ut IS she handsome as her mother ? Her mamma's auburn locks, I own, Ani, ^ ./^'f "^^"e^" than her daughter's bro'vn As some folk do not seem to think "^ " oy you. / ..u T^{ '"^'^'* ^^ ^^^y ^^ ^^''w^ lo drink "My new Piano Wrrtone'^'^^''^^w\7clfvo^^ At least to me it so aoDears c ? judicious ear will own, I too of late have pra^i^Tmuch AnH .n"''' '''' "^ m ''^''>' '^^^«"» h^^'^^' Tj, i"^^*-"^ a mucn, And am improv'd m t me and tnnnK . Thus with your fiddle's well-known power; *''"''' ' Th. no.. '^'f u -^^'f ^^ ^" ^^^"'"S hour." ^ ' }^.R^xl^X:^l "l^:^^ ^-^' And^.. replied, or answer'd .., Indeed it dearly must ai^.r 'h.u ?' w ^" f"',P^y P^^^^ '"^Pii^f' While the VaiT'?^^^ eat and ifear : T^. A^ 9^"^^ ^ ^^^ ^'■^^'■^ o<" h's Wife. inus Madam, with habitual a rf rr *• i. Did with her smiles the Doctor crown ^^"^'""^^ ^.^f, presiding part ; And, iu a well-adapted measuieAh^ Billy with a frown Her tongue was neC^tTat a sttnd B"t "l-v^^ ^' P^^^'"'"'' = She coutd affirm and could ieny ^ ^^ ^ ""' ^ur 'k°" ^,^^ Command ; And scarce her'quesLn could be hemd "^'^"^ '"^P^'^^-^i^X' Ti .„ ,''''■'-' =*"e an answer had preferr'd • ' J^:^^::^^^^^^' '^^ '-"^ fro employ, .hem both, a day or two. jnto a score." r rapid way." "" pigeon-pye." always said ; 'd happiness. 3w*d on me." ^OiJ me /are, Floral store, Florist's lot. lir'd by you." s of WiNF. f '^ps o/AlfJ' ar will own, jldoni hears. ■ and touch ; inswei-'d fw, ate inspir'd. t and hear : iiding part ; ih a frown ; r pleasure ; Command : upetuosity, :hem both ; o appetite. aciotis air, tN SEARCH OF A WIFE, g-^ "Doctor," she said, « I know your taste in that intemp'rance which gives birth 1 o boist'rous noise and vulgar mirth Which with its loud and clamVous brawls, I^ut if T r.n t}'""^ ^'"^^"'-'^ '" these walls ; ' iJUt, It 1 can such feats resfnin cu n i , Pray let not that goo nnn 0^;.;! T. Y^ ^^^^T ^'^° ^^'^ '-^ff^in. But when youVcsipn'l a^Jain?'^ n? '•'''" r"''^'^^^''^^ sluggard ale * Let him I bool £ fovSe liauor ^vl^"'^^ '^''' "• "^'^ '^'^ '^'^^^ »" g'°'' While I Expect my cvVend f iend Wnii^ tl''",''""'-^" ^'^"^ ^^^ ^''^^'\ The rev'rend l..ie a l.ow/^^ ^^^^^^^^^ The Squire who scarce had spoke a M'ord ^ ^''^' V "''^ dinner s.nok'd upoii the board ^o sooner was the fair-one trono p ? u ' UfmpI' V u f? , , ^^"^ ^^ assumed a bfty tone IJLMPKIN.—" Doctor, I hope you know me better Than to suppose that I can fetter ^^ Mv sports and pleasures to the will U! that same tongue that ne'er lies st HI . You saw what pretty airs she p-av^ 1 i V But, my good frienc( a you vvSe bv I diH VnV T^ ^ 7^ ^'^^« •' Nor ivvM.M T ^ f ^ ' "'" ^^t chuse to look awrv IN or would I wound your rev'rend cloth ^* vin^u K .r^ ^^PP'"& 0"t a swinging oath, ' Was darted uw "V^"''^ 'i'*^"''^^ "'* ^^''^"^'l^ty l«"k Was darted ^y^^^ your wife, And threaten'd matrimonial strife ?" 5\ N FAX.- She never spoke a saucy word Kcc .' , ^"^ "^^ ^'^ ''^n angry look preferred • ' Affection dwelt within her eve A ,ul n n i But let I pray that sub crt ro^^ xr ," ''f 'P^^'-^ ^^^ harmony : For here T'!,'''n^^ 7'^''^ '^'^ ««"«^^s of my breast, ^ui iieie 1 i.amc on pleasure bent A "^i r *"? y°"^ vvell-known merriment. M,, „i r"° .'"^ ^°o^ humour and content • My gloomy fancies to beguile And iearnlU you a cordial smile Comr , come, a foaming bumper quaff, ^ '""''' And let me hear ;rou loudly laugh." 1 his counsel given in solemn measure, \^m^ i\^ '^^'^- ^.'^^ '^^""■^'s displeasure ; But though his spirits ceas'd to flutter Wis poutuig lips were seen to muttrr. At length the coffee was announc'd : Again he sweli'd, lork'J • But when the? beil For well he ki vn-,' .0 to rinj- Another song he ch lew wiM) p;vil'd tht ing. 'ft. ■ y R spn na- 'i>> \-\ '^ i7-~* li til ■, '^ "^tfE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX '^A^nZtllt^t ^' T" f"",^'''' ^ '" go^d humour will appear. But one c?li«c ^"^^S'l^shp-slop's made, I think the call should bcobey'd But one glass more must engage, My present feelings to assuage .\f"S\fo speak truth, I'm always dry ^' VVJien this same bev'rage meets my eve." Now led by fragrance and perfume,' \xn^ Pass'd into the drawing-room, Which, from its bright display of flowers, ^ Might pass for one of Floni's bowers -syntax enchnntcd at the sight, Broke forth in language of deli<^ht —When the Creator's works I view ^^ "' "tu^ni. And frnm c.^'! ' '^?"t'""S' the bright course pursue ; And f.om sub imest obj,xts range To most minute in endless change It in those works thpt meet the eye ^ ' Hr^ In ih. T^'^'^.^^y ''^, earth, from e:.rth to sky, He in the S'-ea^es stands confest, . Still is li' greater in the least."* 1 Jius as he spoke, with ardent glow, n. ;„ .1 j'^" the various tribes that grow With lazy stride the sofa sought, The cushions cuff'd with all his strength, And then la.d down his listless length When the Divine to turn IS He Ti,„ • ^ " K'^'fy •■' "^'"g P'-'ssion I^ nni H,;c ^ •; , ^^y sl^are of marred happiness ' Is not this quite enough t(, shame me ? ^ppmess . -WrreThe^l^^^^^^^^ {$ ^^^'^ ^f J?-,^*--^ ^lee. The greatest fortune wi 1 not sm> ^' ti ^'''^ ""/""y ^'^ ^^ '"^'"'•y •' Nor ?he fond, te dci- nc ina ion wf.P"'^' '^■''' ^'^^^^ ^'^^ ^^"^^ • '. Nor theirs of the'louV """ "^^""^^^^ P^^"' With the rude mind that claims the whole. ^pd will not share the kind controul ' Or,";;: r^ei e"o takTtt afr'-'^"' r^""^'? / -" '^^ -^ my door : And when I ride, I also ce tCu'''''^ t"" P^"'*^^ ^^ "^ ^^'^'^' • I decorate my drawing room With enrPo f'^^ ^^''"V^ ''^'^'"^'d ^o*' "^^• And if I chuse. I haviS^i^^wer \v^'^^^^^^^ ^TT *« breathe perfume, And if ii should my fancy smtT^^ •'' "^"^ ''1'^' ''^'""''^ ^°^^''' ' u my lancy suit, To taste in Spring the Summer fruit ; peliSj* '''^ ^^ ^ "^^'^^ -- --'-- u.ns Ics grandes choses. il est. tres grand d..ns le. J- J. RotSSEAU. ^^j^.j '^ SEARCH OF A WIFE, jg , \f^^^"l^^\^^:A^ ^.^^-^' ,^^f y the toilette's happiness. That my fond vanity mav ch..' ^""^^ ^^'^'^ ^^^^i What is it I do not receive wirh^f " '"''"* ^ ^'^ "^^ share? That secret, Doctor, I'll il^narf i ^""""^ husband's bound to give? Yes one, where tender ItehnL/ulcs 7n f ""^"^ ^^ ^^-^^ "^^--^ h?art I want a character refin'd ^ ' And warm affection never cools. Where taste and science are en'shrin'd'' ' "''"^^^^ '"'"^^ With manners that from kindness iw' Faih-ngs e'eS^rS e ts^'^t^b^e^' and thought £t glow. When it th' enraptu?c?powa poss t ^''^ ^^' nVn": ^'^^^ ^^^ors sec, Or k" '.^^^>' mountain's lofty brow Or^'n th ' '" ''^, "^'^^^ '^''^ast 0. .V .e oceans c.,^. J ^ --e «;occ. .,e Mo^ T^Maf Se.;'.!;;? ,„et' I St r'-'^h we.Uh can „Ve Such is my fate, ^0^ must s ° 'Tj ,^,,'0^' £'?"'"« '°' """ '-"e! Syntax.-" Excuse the liberty I take When thus I most sincerely sno.l- • But that same virtue would confer ^ ' w' .• let me beg you t. attend To the kind? "" >?"'" ^^''^'•'''^ter. TN "^'f '?/'''^' ^^^ ^ced is done, The cord i.fnc. ?,°""''^'' "'^ ^ '"'icnd ! rhough, .f well order'd, I confes ' '"'^^ '\ ^^^'^^^ "^^kes you one: ?X' blest with temper's cloudte"^" ''™ "" '"«=y - "o- let him nlf^L!!!!!™:'-""' I'^ l*e to-day. ^ '- - ■ ■ ' ' ■whrn^'sl^;';' ,/tr,f:!r. '['•''' ^im Hke a fool ne.er':,^7el'Sht toTeatTim But llt's"/"^"' f 'Hi-^h- Checic nofons, that so iUie prov?; " Uf'^lJ^eS a^S'tt:,: t.' im so. im. 262 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX I I i.j; Your active, well instructed mind, To such vagaries should be blind Let not your fancy e'er refine IJeyond calm reason's fair design liut leave to Misses of eighteen The raptures they from Novels glean' You surely have the means to bless Your life with social happiness ,' And O beware you do not spoil Your comforts with domestic broil •" A ^^l\ I^UMFKiN.— " Doctor, I do admire your plan. * ^ And I'll pursue it— if I can :— J f * But as so learn'd you seem to be in all domestic policy, Tis pity you do not again Assume the matrimonial chain!-' bYNTAX.— Madam, you've touch'd the tender string, ^^^ "°"^ *° "^y remembrance bring The heavy loss I have sustain'd Of virtues ne'er to be regain'd. My dearest Do ly was to me What I wish ev'ry wife To be * And since the darling saint is gone, I feel it sad to be alone • liut still my doubts I cannot smother, Of ever getting such another '' Mrs. Bumpkin.—" You have my happiness in view. * And I must feel the same for you. I have a very pleasing friend A A -r >Vi^om to your thoughts I shall commend ; Dp^; iul J"^^^".'^"^ ^°f "«t c'"-' I'^ fonn and age and character, Dear Mrs. Hyacinth will prove An object fit for you to love She m retirement's peaceful dell Doth in her widow cottage dwell Though if her thoughts to me are known, She wishes to live less alone. For' ^^"tVZP^''^' ^^' '^"' -n ^'^"'■' ^" '^"^^y' ^^"^ >" ""'•sing Aowers, For, as I hope you soon wil see. She has a taste for Botany And her delight as well as glory is in her gay conservatory Nor IS this alT-for you will find. That with chaste maLLs if comS A well-form'd and acconiplish'd mind. At all events my friend may call To make his bows at Tulip-Hall • (I* or by that name the place is known ' Which she is proud to call her own.) While I Its mistress will prepare To give you a kind welcome there : And much I wish that Heaven may bless My friends with mutual happiness. That flowers which sweetest fragrance breathe May form an Hymeneal wreath. With fairest hopes your life to crown. When this fiiir Dame may be your own " -J The Doctor promis'd to obey And in high spirits more than gay, He joyous kissd the lady's hand, And bade her all his soul command — lirief was the evening's calm repast : The time of rest arriv'd at last, When the sage pass'd its balmy hours In dreams of Hymen crown'd with flowers. The morning came when a smart stroke* At chamber-door, the Doctor woke ; And strait, in rather serious mood, ' ■Rir flio K«,-l_o:,j^ >e — :„_ n 1 • ' . , Syntax now rubb'd his eyes, amaz'd, And on the intruding figure gaz'd ; Who Ming on an elbow-chair, Began his errand to dfclare, rU SEARCH OF A WIFE. •«3 :omc there : p.!!rJ° ^^^^^ you thus maybe distressing But let me speak while you are dressine" ^' Syntax soon shook off his alarms ^* ^^iT^^V^t'^^'l"'^ stretching out his ams, Tlferd'o^rTnlm^ositr" ''^'' ^^^"' ^'''^ '^'^ ^^ ^^^ In greater or in less decree Ti',nf .. • t And as you are a man of science oVulf I'l'"'"" "^^ ^'^^ ^"^^ "'^ • Tdl me the track I shou d puS • \vul\^'''' Pl'^^^^^^^ '-^'I'^n^e, When to controul it would be fit ' ^nd u :'n ? ''''''^'? ^'"^ ^^^^ '^ ^^ n short, that this great house mav ■■ " a ^^^^•"^.'^ctter to submit I do not such a polish wear ^ As dnrl^ n'"' of greater harmony. To rank among the dandv fnnU "um,! r ^/'^^^^'''or form prepare. But what I do should not^pro^^^^^^ ''7?^'"^ fashion's fribbling tools And, showing off her irvely^sensc Mnl ^''iif^^'r '"''.' '""''^'"'^ J«ke, or which she's^srtimes'L1^y^?.^s^/^"^^ '' "^^ -P--' Forifinthftlll^tVr^y^^^"^^"^'^^"-- T u But, to my friend, I here declare i ^^ '^"^^ '^"^^ ^^^^• 1 ve sometimes said I will not bear' it " That spurns the unmanly tricks of art : Nor are you wanting to pursue An^ fi,.. What common-sense holds forth to v'ww A spor.s,Ln k^ows"^ ,1^3"^" "'''' '" ""'' =""' "'^d.' As on .he coV^Vso" 'll^e-:""! /'' Y°ol''" "^ ' To bear and forbear L a ruL '^'' IZTr."' ''"''^'•"' ^"^ ""<• <»k= = And thus, .he gbomytaso'^'ptt "' '"' "" "'"''■""'■^ ' Twas hop'd the Halcyon time might last When Syntax rose to take his leave He sa.d, " this counsel kind receive I do prefer It nothing lot'j ; A^il- j r ■ -For trifles ne'er contest the field B,Vf ,^,? . -^^^ '' '"J'"" ^o'^- Let but atrection bear the swlv ' ^'" ;"""=^'™?gle who shall yield. That feeling ever checks tSif^ WhAt^ ^'i" *'" ='™g«'« «° "bey : Can but afffction to^wl^i^d,""'^ S^tl"!,'" P"'!?"..-'"'?" ¥P- WhhoS7t: sid' U Hymel ° retr Aid f f^^'^^i^'^^ forgit^n! O let but that the u^on b es f ' ind" hf suJe t """if '" ^^'» = > /ina tne sure boon is happiness." ■n 264 THE TVL'R OF DOCTOR SYNTAX t I I The Doctor now his way pursued i,ri-M X. Tlirough Verdant d.ilo and shady \ d. While he reflected on the scene Of Hymen's io>s where hp hiH !./>*.« And rather doubted ,f again He shLld re^efve he ma ri^^^^^^^ "Patrick," he said, « How did you find ^ The place which wc have left behind ? Had you kmd hospitable fare. In the domestic reL^ons there? And were j^u ree and joyous all, In butler's room and scrtam ' haU ?' Oh, as for those things," Pat replied. Plenty and ioy do there reside : But though IVc travelivi kingdoms o'er, I never heard such things before. The lady doth a form display But seldom seen in summer's dry • Nor, than 'Squire Ihimpku., doth the sun A finer figure shine upoi •" And, in some way, I understood ^ * From morn to night they're doing good. The poor are never seen to wait In vain attendance at their PntP • Nor pam nor sickness ever feel The want of means to soothe alSS • While children, ere they run along, -tianeai , Arc taught to know the right from wrong --But here, and please you, Sir's the bother. They re kind to all but one another ; When, by her woman, I was told, He's heard \o growl, and she S^scS 1 hough, as she said, things might be worse, ' P or the grey mare's the better horse. You may explain. Sir, if you please. Such uncouth odds and ends as these • l>ut faith, to me it doth belong, To shut nv eves nnri hf^\A ^,., *^ Ui^ess you do the fancy take,^' By way '^f .^k sTo' a^iA^' S '' Thus as they went, a coming storm Did thi sk's azu e f. J defo m U hose menace bade them look around aeiorin, To where a shelter mlvht be found : Anct soon a pleasing cot was ser-n Am;<-i tu.. u^, 1 ,. .1 In n. 1 ' 1 «^ '^"^ '" ^''T '"PT ^"'^ ^«""^l ^ smiling welcome the e All look d so nice, so clean and warm, Within the cSmfortable fann! When she app-ai'd, the way to show, ' Whose household care had made it so. TJie Dame with smiles, the Doctor greeted, A 1 ,• 1 .V^^'*""* '^'s Rev'ience would be seated, H^inn' iT- ' ^T^y*"S g^-'r^' P'cP^re The comforts of an easy chiir • " rhere is a pye m oven baking, ^ A A ' J,o . ^^"^ ^^S's puddings of my making. And no nchJSquire,thro.^hout tj.e vale. Can give% better cup of ale." ^'i'^l -/"'-^A, ccn v»itn weii iinu purse. Might have gone farther and far'd worse. AV SEARC// OF i li^/fS. ft PrTv ^c'£ ^l'-"'^' '• '^^ ^J^i'd'-en four, ^ ' " Not yet S r b^:, f °p^'' \^^.^ >'°" ^"y nioio ?' ' ;; Well my good wt.ln^^nt 'x%"V''"^^^^'^ -^^ With that you piously comply .L. ' I mean--lNCREASE and Multipi y» (Charley and all, ^C^c. ^ wis/" '-f^-^/'-"!^ « "^ri:' z:^ '"f' A .,sUr or brother, , , sister or irolher Give to LutMy Baby a sister orbZlr. Tln,?tf,1'"i''!';'''^' ">■<•" •■"•« '™ good 1 luis to (Iclig ,t my pretty brood : -n °"u °J "*"'" ' '^'^ would °ivc ■m- Doctor «as m fuluo^ntSt, ^vL'n'hi"r.;.rK',''^ "'•"'"^ "-"c." Wh,ch was not like the swee™ ofV, „':""' => ""»i" ««„., ,"". the M.,ll;^'d^|;,;';^J-^ ^-" P'-3'd to^!!,';'?" i'liat they know not how to tell ti^° "*"'' '" P'"''» ••""! roses, And now, indeed, I do perceive a ? '^^'"^ ' The v^, p^Hhl'h he tt ;S Si' ^- b> ^our leave, Have just begun to make a stir • ' But still, I hope, no harm is done Come, sweetest babe, beneath the sun f» And with the child a;.ay she rim. I nto such laugh the I Joctor broke And still, wUh'r S .rhe.Tt' "^}" '''''''' ''^^^- Then liftn^ .J u-:..[^^^ '^^ ^3!'^'^f' He sunL' and nInv'H .t . And thus the fond deceit bestows ■' i MICROCOPY RESOLUTION TEST CHART (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) I.I 1.25 ■ A3 BiUU 1.4 2.8 3.2 3.6 14.0 2.5 2.2 2.0 1.8 1.6 A APPLIED IfVHGE inc 1653 East Main Straet Rochester, New York 14609 (716) 482 - 0300 -Phone (716) 288- 5989 -Fax USA ! ! i\ a66 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX See what a mother will not do, What will she not, when, to her view, The fondling in her arms doth rest. Or seeks the fluivi from her breast. 'Tis the same glowing sense that burns In father's breast, as he returns From hardy toil, and doth repay The labour of each passing day, When on his knees an infant pair Ask by their looks the kiss to share." To give that kiss, to feel that glow, John entei-'d with submissive bow. Nor did he want the smiling grace Of welcome on his ruddy face. Farmer John. — "An' please your Rev'rence here we are Attending on our daily care : I through my little fields must roam While Mary governs things at home : She is a kind industrious wife The blessing of a husband's life ; And she, I doubt not, would agree To speak with same content of me.' We, it is true, must have our cares, Whicli mortal man in common shares. The storm will sometimes blast the field, And fruit-trees will refuse to yield ; While some incurable disease Does on our flocks and cattle seize : But then fair plenty comes again. And flocks and heids adorn the plain. Though whether it be good or ill. We patient bear our Maker's will, Conscious we ought not to repine : At least that's Mary's way and mine. Thus time our chequer'd way beguiles, I never frown, she always smiles ; For Heaven is kind, and, as you see, Gives us both health and industry :" While it will be our constant care These little bantlings here to rear. In what our humble state demands. The honest labour of their hands. That they when our old course is run, May toil and thrive as we have done, —And now, I hope you will think fit Of what we've got to pick a bit. The oven does a pye afford, The ale looks bright upon the board, The liquor's good and brisk and humming, And soon the puddings will be coming. Here is not much to cut and carve, But still I hope we shall not starve ; While I a grateful welcome give To what your kindness may receive." " No," Syntax said, "no never fear, I stand a hungry figure here, And thank you for your friendly cheer. Besides your welcome gives that zest Which turns a morsel to a feast ; That feast, my friend, I now enjoy, Which satisfies, but does not cloy : I'm as well-pleas'd with your bestowing As I shall be where I am going. To that point where the sun does rise. From hence my present journey lies : To-night, Sir Stately Stirrup's guest, I hope at Stirrup-Hall to rest ; For his grave worship condescends To number me among his friends." " He may be proud," said John, " of you. But what I tell you, Sir, is true. His flock of friends is very few." liic riiriiicr liuw u. pipe proposa, i nc jJoctOi on tne oiici ciusu j And John who was not prone to balk The fancy which he had to talk. Continued with his rustic force To paint the Knight in his discourse. IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. JtlT^ ^''^^^'r^^fi\^ ''""^ '°^^Ser you must know, At least we poor folk find him so. By his grand politics and law He keeps tlie country round in awe He thmks he knows, pufT'd up with pride, " Far more than all the world beside • But when did any body hear, He for distress e'er shed a tear > Or when did he a shilling gtve A wife in labour to rcl eve? Or when were seen the hungry poor Receiving scraps before his door? Nor does he think an orphan's blessing To be a treasure worth possessing ; But warrants, staves, and mastiffs wait To guard the approaches to his gate Yes all his acts a tyrant shew him To all degrees that are below him • But let a man of rank go by, He's ready in the dust tohe' From me the laws ne'er find a breach, I therefore keep without his reach ; Though if the hills which rise between us Could from his paws for ever screen us it would be a blessing found By all the grumbling country round ' —You did not know his former wife : ^ * She led the Knight a precious life • That over-bearing haughty spint, Which he from nature dees inherit She, whene'er she pleas'd, kept under, ^""enc, With look of flame and voice of thunder He went abroad 'tis true, to rule, But home return'd so calm and cool That, but excepting form and name, ' None would believe the man the same Nor has he ever yet denied He bless'd the dav on ,„i,,vi, i v i And that he thou'ght her fun'ral rite Was not a^very mournfuf ^^ht Bu: you must know as I suppose. For 'tis what all th^ cZtrylcnots Ere a few months had pass'd away, Old Siirrup-Hall again was gay With marriage feast ; and a young bride ^^ Was seen to grace Sir Siately's ^ide. She, foolish thing, thought it a gay day When golden ring made her a Lady ; But though she now precedence takes Of 'Squires' wives around the lakes ; And though she doth a rank display, Which time itself can't take away, Yet she now finds, as 'tis well known She scarce can call her soul her own'- And as for gaiety or pleasure Tis dealt to her in grudging measure • & 'V' 'r"?^ ^\r'^\ ^"^^' ^^>'' ^^^^« ^^^ and hearTefeX day* That she oft ^^^^^heMhough in vain, She were Miss Biddiken \l\I} SYNfAX.- I find, my friend, that you know more Than I have ever heard before ; T'^. l'^3M^,.!!!,M^"'2i'l ^^1 y«" C^" ^"^h a scene as this review : '^' "OA ... -'^- v;"p= t""" f >' « ^ , , into domestic history.'^ xa; -f 5 ^Z^~1S'^ market-days, our bus'ness done. We sit and chat and have our fun • ' w "^^^'^ti^'l ^T^^^ ^T """"^ ^?^' ^"^ betters. Sir, are not forgot We hear ^he bad as well as good In ev'ry farmers neighbourhood. 263 ^Bfl^H^ ■■■■ THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And broach the news with equal bounty, From ev'ry corner of the County." Syntax.— ''Well, honest John, I ask you then, What do you say of Sommerden .?" Farmer John.— "Another cup before I speak. And then I will the freedom take To say what's in the country said, VT r r-^°^^ °^ y°"^ ^^^^^ ^"^^ o^ yo"r head, N or fear offence, though I speak true ; For good alone is said of you. —You re call'd a man of deep discerning. Fit for a Bishop by your learning ; Pious and good yet very gay, And that you on the fiddle play : That m the pulpit you're a rare one, And lay it on, and never spare one : As for the bad you ne'er defend 'em, But headlong to the devil send 'em : Though, as the truth you wish to hear, And what you preach you need not fear, Folks say that you are rather queer." Syntax.—" Give me your hand, my hone^. friend To more than this I ne'er pretend : ' ^ ' If It be true I'm ^yell content Qr for my life or monument. I ask, indeed, no higher praise, TVT ^ , ^^hile Heaven may lengthen out my days ; Nor do I wish a better fame. When nought is left me but a name Farewell, for the declining sun Tells me, at length, I must be gone"' -After repeated kind caressing. The Do-'tor gave the bobes a blessing And having kiss'd the mother too, " I feel," he said, " my thanks are due For all I have receiv'd from you : But keep in mind our Village Fair, And who expects to see you th-re " K. if. ![ -"^M^' ^^^ ^'^ ^^^ '^y ^^ P^^'^'"^^ I^l^o^bus clos^ the day, Pat nn^ T^^^ 'a '^" 1 If'"' /' Stirrup-Hall's old fashion'd gate I AT quickly made the bell resound. That echoed all the court aroSnd* With'VHH".^ ''''" ''\' ^'T^S J^ ^" ^- ^-- a"pea"d in "gl ; A nH nil -fu- ^° ^^^ y^"' ^o^^ d'ye do ? I take this very kind of yo' ' And all within my friendly power. You may command at any ho, — I IS well known what my life has been What my experienc'd mind has seen : ' I ve wrought my policy so nice. That all come here to ask advice. And, if your wish is to receive it, You know who is preparM to give it." They enter'd-when the talk began. And the long conversation ran, How the superior, leading, powers yxn , ^"^P%'d or misemploy'd their hours ; Who at the nation's helm preside ; What policy our statesmen guide ; 1 hat gross corruption sways mankind. And int'rest base perverts the mind : How bribes have blinded common s Foil'd reason, truth and eloquence : That industry the state maintains ; That honest toil and honest gains IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 969 aid of you. ddle play ; ;nd, lonumcnt. It a name, be gone." L blessing, oil there." i the day, on'd gate, t around: I in sight, d of yo? any hci , k advice, Ltion ran, n guide : OiH fathers rais'd to power and fame ; And .11 in ?Hh 1; "''^^ ^''^'^^^- '"°^^ ^' shame, ' «"u .-^11, m selhsh ends pursu no- R„f. .^ ',„ui c ;~At length gir StaSy condescends"' ^^ '"* ^^" P"^^^''' -""• 1 o talk of neighbours and of friends • The hist'ry of the County Quorum * While from his known superior skill ' i hey all submit them to his will. I ve heard," he added, "what has oasf fr^f/ beheld your ReWence last^"'' rm told that you have lost your wife Who gave such comfort to your life ■ And here perhaps, you're come to know Whether your gnef at once to smother Or on one ^X'^^^^^' and get anotS'r, On thac important point! I pray H^r w W ^q " i" ^ T'^^«^^'d bed : You weh ma; taL Jny sag" advfe '" '''^'^^' ''''' '^ '^y- Arr^f^ J""'' ^^°^^^^' ^'^-'^ been married lAvicF • She brought n,e r./on^; 'bro^hi ^'''i^et'lv"'" ' ''"' ^'''''■ \x7i, .1. . ,"" bere no master would she nwn • To let fierce Madam Se her way "'' P"'°" ' """W '•^^'. Tl, I , '^"dwieid at home the sov'reitrn iw■,^, K pS^^r^^a^l^^r ^"^F^bourhood in awe ; In short to check the daify storm ' ffnT'\ '° ^' ^ ^^'^^^ ^t home! And, to close all domestic riot T i,«m ^^'' bumours did conform ; But she contriv'd wiTh such keen art T ^ T^T^ ^"^ ^'^'^ in quiet That all the country did agree'" TntU ^^^^'^'^ matrimonial part, Nay, I must own, the truth to tell DoT^.h'.^Ii '^'' '"^^ ^^^^^"^ °" "^^ Sh. 1. 7^^^^ ^^^ displeaS^ and we a one "^' '''' "^^'^"^'^ ^^^"• She would, but in a soften'd tone ?i? ', Yes, would hiss forth in viper's phrase v^'^^^ ^"^ gb^bly lay it on. But If a creature did appea^r That rnnl'^"r''''V '""^ "^ ''^''■^'' Tllo" ?^"?>' ^°-' -y k Jigh , my dea" ^^-^-^-^ bear And every ^- -Anting look ^^^ ^ ^,,,,^,^ ,^^^ wu r beneath this iron-scepter'd aueen When fate most kindly set me fre- ^ ^ ' , , Though I a downcast visage bore" As ^T ^^i^^""^'^'^ '>'^^""y- ^ ""re, As I my sable trappings wore ; ■-,-411 270 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Yet I riust honestly confess, So far from feelings of distress, 'Twas with a smiling heart 1 trod, Behind her bier, the church-yard sod ; And silent thought, with tearless eye, This was a happy obsequy. But still I've prov'd without disguise, Experience nas not made me wise ; For ere another year was flown. The Church made me and LucY one, Whom shortly my good friend will sec The mirror of stupidity. TheTne so 'vdse was, she must rule, The other is almost a foo , She, such a cold, unmeaning elf. Thinks not for me, nor for hersci While I am always on the spur To think both for myself and her. " Yes," Syntax said, " to me it seems You've run into the two extremes ; Your mind, I think, had lost its force. Or you'd have sought the middle course. Your conduct. Knight, but seems to prove Reason has nought to do with Love. Philosophers have said, 'tis true, And it may be applied to you That Reason fails whene'er the dart Of am'fous passion stabs the heart,* Or when its secret pulses move To beat time to the tune of love. 'Tis whim, 'tis fancy, or 'tis chance. That joins us in the wedding dance ; Though some have thought a wayward fate Commands or shapes the nuptial state : , . „ By others an opinion's given That marriages are made m Heaven ; Though much I fear you'll not agree Tn tTi;,t qnhlime Philosophy : But 'tis a dift'rent case with me, Wh^fron"ense o?^ dominion. Declare I join in the opinion, ' That wives are known who do combine , . Some little spice of the divine ; At least that was the case with mine. Nor my fond hope shall I now smother, That Syntax self may get another, _ , i,o«„;„^cc • Who does those qualities possess Which promise married happiness And as I di with candour view, I do not say 'trs so with you,) The var bus causes which perplex The marriage state and Hymen vex fUiinklhe husband frames the strife In full proportion with the wife. " You men of learning," said the Knignt, " Who in your closets strike a light On life's so sombre mysteries, And shape and paint them as you please ;— You classic men, whose fancy gives A colour to whatever lives, To all our s^ows or our joys,^ To what delights or what annoys Your fine-drawn, your high-flying sense. Disdains our dull experience, Which measures all things by the square. And sees things as they clearly are ;— If you my first grand wife had known, Who, I thank Heaven, is dead and gone. That she was fit, you would have said, li.'en to nave :»iiai u mu iii-iiivix--. • » * Nemo sobrius amat. Sbneca. JN SEARCH OF A IVtFE. !e in Heaven ; ase with mine. 271 A Juno she, and it appears While a. T .n!r"^'' ''^"' ^°^'^ ^^e Thund'rer's ears — r^iS^^^ box .ine, And when you see the gcmlcr grace ^^ "^ '" ^"" "" '^''''' With flnwpi r ' "''''' '"PP^^^" ^^^''^"^ Barbara's place witn Howers from your poetic tree v^ n 1 , » But still in vain, I think you'H stHvo n^. ^ Ju"^^ '\^,^'' ^^''^ '"sipidity, If ever rightly understood,'^ ^ ' ^' Hc^^'"?nant hear, betray'5 He could those charming sym" omrt?ace "° "'" ''"'' ^~''' But amid ll "'^^ manners, Lucy's face. am.d l^s^n. me.,t. _^^^__^ Whic,, he .eiieVd she did inh.it, W A"i?\^5 P' ^h^' ^^ "^"st own. What he had heard from Farmer jihn • While in Sir Stately's voice and mien Ungracious speech or look of spleen Was but too plainly heard and S' ,^ ^ An'dti?k^^rS;S^^^^^^^^^^ ^e^^rSe'tL'u^Vt^ ^rdlf&^"Vi^--f--thinhi^^ reach; With hSmble benVanS :fcnt^gi"c' '"'" ''"" " ''^ °^' "^^^ ^xr-.r. -^ ^^'^^^ ^e could no pleasure tnr^ With sometimes an uplifted eye P"''''"'T ^"111^ , , ^ -The Do|tor felt'^viiat all ..t^if^^ '^"^^' «^ ^^^^le sigh. A« 1 .1-^^° ^"^^ another's thoughts reveil te^hS? ~-ht' "- -lh^t*d^ ^'r- ^-'- Thf ciir*,^,^,. ^»„„ *!-_ T , •'' i^or pitied patient miserv The KniglTt begrnVwith SoTd n^^^ l^^'^" ^""^^"^ to be afone And in his warmth^Sar'd I wife 's^.m'' ^°^' ^"^ ^^^^^^ ^o d^idc At least Miss Fortune! in her wTiim ^"^Tr"??P'°^ ^ "^^^ ^^^ of life " I've told you, that my fo me^chdce C^t ^""^ ^'^^'^ '' ^° ^^ ^^''"• And the last g ft of treach'Vnnc r. -^ t ^^^^ "^^ ^° ^^ason to rejoice ;;0 Doctor, Doctor TeS- a.^Zd vn' P^1J*>^' '^"^^^^'^ ^ery stupfd.' If in love's lottery you have ?ded ^ A n'/^'-!;^ ^" "^^^''^^^ ^^^i" Nor h'o^e thaTfickle Fortune J?er^'^''' ' ^^^^ '^ ^^'^^^^'^^ -Act n^f f J ^^^^ .y°" t^^ce her favorite care -Ask not for beauty, it doth lay Tfc nVtc ^f When we are led by'tint and shape? ^'"''^ ^" °"^ ^^^^^ Anr! 'cfo A %'*^t ^euxis' birds to peck the Rrape • a n-ilt^f/^J -1 Which my experience bids me sav Tc r^^ • ^""^ ^ ""Ptial destiny, Thu,. no. , beg about the chS' T^llt^^^^^^^ltZd. ism 272 Tf/£ TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But let a fortuiic and sound sense Determine the pre-eminence 1 know, my friend, that you inherit A portion large of manly spirit. That you would ne'er be brought to speak In humble tone of Jerry Sneak ; And so attach'd to learned lore, Of which you have a treasui-'d store, That you would thus describe a wife : — One who had such a view of life. Between the vulgar and rcfin'd, As suits the tenor of your mind ; With manners too of that degree Which blonds with Cleric Dignity : And such a partner could you find You to your fate might be resign'd. " Nay, now I think, that I know one. Our friend the widow Omicroii, Who may, if I conjecture right, Give to your life a new delight. She's known for that superior knowledge, Which would do honour to a college : Nay in a college she was bred. Of which licr father was the Head : By a learn'd Dean she then was lov'd. Who a fond, short-liv'd husband prov'd ; But left her, as she haply found. His books with twice six thousand pound ; And, as her fortune I review, Her house and household chattels too : By letter I will recommend The Doctor to this female friend. — Think not my sage that I am prating, Ovid's Epistles she's translating ; And that pursuit may seem to prove The Lady somehow thinks of love. Attack her, win her, wear her then, And give new life to Summerden !" Thus did the lengthen'd evening pass, Enliven'd by the cheerful glass : But, as the Sage retir'd to rest, Fair Lucy's silent charms possest The fine warm feelings of his breast. Whether th' inspired Doctor thought Exactly as a Doctor ought, Or whether Hincy 'gan to play, It is not for the Muse to say ; But Pat declares his Master said, As he was stepping into bed, " If but that loit'ring fellow Death, Would just now stop Sir Stately's breath. And set the charming woman free, I'd ask her if she'd marry me. No, never would I make a stir To rule the house and govern her. But should rejoice, throughout my life. To yield me up to such a wife ; A crowing cock I should be then, Though daily peck'd by such a hen." Thinking on her he heav'd a sigh In sad and pitying sympathy ; And seem'd as if about to weep. Had he not fallen fast asleep. At early hour the following day Syntax proceeded on his way. Until they reach'd a shady isle Where all the gen'rous virtues smile. Those virtues which had long posscss'd A mansion in Ned Easy's breast ; Who here enjoy'd his tranquil lot. By the gay, busy world forgot. — Ned in his early life was known Through all the purlieus of the town, And took, 'tis said, no common measure. Of what the laughing world calls pleasure. He also had a warrior been. And manv a bloodv field had seen : Had pass'd the salt wave o'er and o'er, And swelter'd on the sultry shore ; d had seen : IN SEARCH OF A WIFE ' -y. Had bravely sought his country's foe In vales of iro on hilh or . rruc to h.s country, which he scrvVl ' ' o'^inow; Thof I, "^5 ^'""^ ''i^'^l honours svverv'cj' That honour was h,s brightest aim, Nor ha h 'life e'er lost .h. n But when peace gave the joyous word ^^'^ "''''"^ » The soldierl^^^^i^t^^i^Tr' '''''■''^' ^^^^V - And sought the tranquil 'calfn reUxat Of his S'd t^^J ^'T'^^ Where, m sweet peace and rural prd? ''''^' P''^^''"^^' ^^^^t, The 'Sqinre, h.s father, hv'd and dicch' Here Ned w.th good, sound common-sense T n„ 1, . ,"cf^lth, mirth and ample compctonce ' Laughs at the busy world and ill Ti,nf V u- • ' Here all his vario/s wandV! gs"c as Ici^nVu P'^"'."^--' -a" ■■ His mirth is pure, with harmless «'?' m™ '•'",'""";' '■'^=' '" P™^- And though not bred in 'learned coll ^e "' "'>' "' "^'"S » ' \vh;u ,1 f , u ^ ''' "='=''"' ''o'c of knowledge • ° ' While cheerful, bounteous frank and fre^w„'i,„ Good-humour ever seems to clleerhh,?™' "'"^ ^'ospluVny. And makes all h ippy who come nonr him • H.S very name will oft beguile A checrlc s thom.h . a Nay it is true that since he m^-riecT'' "^ '""'^ ^ ^^^^^' Not one fond hope of his miscarried. And that is rare, you must agree. For wives, 'Squire Ned has married three •- Nor has, as yet, the growing train * Of boys and girls e'er caus'd him pain. Twas nine, as the clock struck the hour When Syntax reach'd the mansion door! ' The swelhng hills that rose around Appear'd with sylvan beauty crown'd • The la^yns display'd a charming scene Of waving surface cloth'd with green While the lake spread its water? clear With glittering sun-beams here and therp • And many a white, expanding sail Rcceiv'd thp J^^ i r ^ Syntax.-" o Nature bright - how 'in it h.' ""^ '^' ^''^'' When man beholds thy charms thit Hp "r. , ^" '^ °^' Whene'er he casts his upward eye To thT ^Vuf "''''^^ ^° '^^^ •' Or turns it to the wond'rous robe Th.f J?i ^ T^*' ^'"^ ethereal s' . , With all the cxpanTellnLn'caJ^^^^^^ Of hill and dale, of plain and flood ; What bv the S''' ''^^ ''^""*>' . , ,,, T' ^^^^^^^ *^""^ «f nIture's GOD r^'"^ '' understood > 'Till reason doth thi system close '^' ''"^" '^ '^'^^s, K. fT, > ^x?"" '?'*'^ *^^ ^o^^^ fi-on^ Chaos rose ^o%i;!'.^;^L^bS,^o-g^^>;a^^^^^^ '0 „a. , vci;. jo>, mat turns the man into the boy i8 To 274 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX % 'Squirk Easy soon the Doctor spied, When he approach'd and smiling cried, " You as a learned man, I know. Yes, you can tell me where and who ; But surely as my name is Ned, In some old history 1 have read, Of a wise people, where the rule. Whether they were at home or school. Ne'er did permit their youth to eat 'Till by some grave or active feat Of mind or body, they had won The privilege to pick their bone. Who used to place the bread and cheese On topmost boughs of lofty trees, Nor ever suffer them to eat it, 'Till down their bows and arrows beat it ; Nor did they get a steak or tart, 'Till it was struck by sling or dart. Nor will these boys their breakfast see, 'Till by some brisk activity. Or studied lesson, they're prcpar'd To fix their teeth in their reward. Hunger, by vou know whom, 'tis said. Will break through walls to get its bread. And here my notion may be right. That this same hunger may incite, Of learnn^'s loiif to get a bite. — I, my dear Sir, make no pretence To more than gen'ral common-sense^ Which, as faia'd Pope, the Poet, says, A genius bright of former days, Is 'rnong the kindest gifts of Heaven, And fairly worth the other seven. When fine folks smile, I never mind it ; I take the world just as I find it, Yes, yes, with all its odds and ends, I know no foes, and love my friends ; And among them, it is most true, Doctor, I'm proud to number you. I'm an odd fish, but, to be free, I'm not the only oddity : Others there are, or I mistake. Who make folks laugh about the Lake ; Where I remain, all tight and steady : — But the bell rings, and breakfiist's ready ; And sure I am ICate will rejoice, From her good heart to hear your voice.'* — Indeed her heart is well endued With feelings that must make it good ; While she is sprightly, gay and free, - The flower of warm civihty. " So long," she said, "the time has been, Since I beheld your precious chin. That if I had the heart to scold you. The house would be too hot to hold you. But you, my friend, are wont to praise My Edward's cot and all its ways, And though some formal folks beshrew it, You'll find it as you always knew it." —Thus lively pleasantry prevail'd. The Doctor's stomach never fail'd ; And though grave thoughts might intervene At sight of this domestic scene ; Though his remembrance might be cross'd By thoughts of her whom he had lost ; Yet the mild mirth that persever'd His unresisting spirits cheer*d. s\\. ^iCoCiii, i: h™ : His boastingVounS f^ ""=1™' "^ ''« SrernttTo^T; ^tt'f = ^- -^-^ ^0^ yourguMe. ' With his /wtf wives whpn P. 'i , , T J- ^^'=" PeCKd bv Onr. Ito fl«..i._ .1 ', ^ uu not mean fn c^r i,^ u T"', "" "'-'"'^=^ i"c ouier • I §76 Tt!E TOVn OP DOCrOU SV.WTAX Yes, 1, with honest heart and hand, Can now the Diinmow Flitch demand." Syntax. — " Three wives you've had and, as you state, Have chosen well in cv'ry mate ; Then tell me, friend, liow you have done, That Syntax may chuse such a one ; Whether it be from common sense, Or fruits of sound cxperii^nco, Or chance, <.r happy accident, Your lot i<= one of such content ; Jhat I may, lest the dames shouU'. th)ut me, Know how, at least, to look about me." Ned Easy.—" Well then, believe me, I will tell My honest, nuptial chronicle ; How all my diff rent courtships thriv'd, How I made love, and when I wiv'd ; »Tis a request I can't refuse you :— At all events, it will amuse yoiu " When I first shcath'd the shining blade, And thought no more of my cockade, Having escap'd nellona's rattle. And all the risques of bloody battl(i With limbs all sound, nor yet a scar Which sometimes spoils a face in war ; The' dangers I ne'er fail'd to dare My eye-brows had not lost a hair, And as the broad-sword work and lancing, Had not cut short my grace in dancing, I 'gan to think what I should prove If Cupid drill'd me into love • What guard I had against the dart With which he might attempt my heart ; What store I had of vows and sighs, And all those soft idolatries, Which wake kind looks in ladies' eyes. But, while I these attentions paid, Marg'RET appear'd, a blooming maid, Who seem'd, I thought, wcll-plcas'd to hear All that I whisper'd in her ear. Egad, I ran at Miss full tilt. But, in a week, she prov'd a Jilt ; I courted with a chaise and pair, Which seem'd at first to please the fair, But soon the changeling gave me o'er, For courtship in a coach and four. " Then Charlotte came, a perfect grace In outward form, but, on her face Too oft was seen a scowling look, Which my calm temper did not brook : Nay, I had heard her scold hrr mother. And seen her cuff her little brother. She knew how to shew off a charm, In a most fine-turn'd hand and arm, Wnich a known sculptor of renown By modelling had made his own, And us'd to shew it as a piece. That rivall'd the best works of Greece: But then her fingers she could twist Into a firm and fearful fist, And much I fear'd, w^hcn married, she Might lay that fine form'd fist on me. " Maria next my bosom fir'd, And fix'd the love which she inspii-'d. TT ^..1^..»«« 1^^1-1-^ \ti£wck ce\r%x\ f/-\ l'\|"fi.ol^ Tn i-»ofi\'r» viiirrl^fc r\\\ li/^i- r\r^r\/ * JtiCl illlUUIlI iCfVr.3 Tfwl-_ JVwi: !•• vivrtlV , ...^.,.,., Her smiles did to her f^ce impart The goodness of a tender heart ; J you state, id cxpehi^nco, such content ; II tell ill amuse yoiu bloody battle; lot lost a hair, me into love • soft idolatries, prov'd a Jilt ; please the fair, hand and arm, made his own, rks of Greece : md fearful fist, ;h she inspii-'d. -. fi'.'s hor ncr.V; ; I tender heart ; ^^y SEARC/fOF A n-IFF -She d»l with fondest truth lullil ' si,', ! " •J'"""' <' i" 'Iwcht.rch \\ l"lc her ncW.failing khuhie 'l K t*-, ."^^ 'f'',,''"'' "''?>"" "'X "i" ,'■;««' ' never thocRht a.-ai. -r 1 '" ''vcly ISA,„.,L a,,pea,^d, Whoso pl[asam u't^? "l™™^"^' ^'•••>!n. And there inspir>d a s.tbtle £ 4 " '">' ''°^»'n -^''^r-d But as our Z^^'^^^ <^^= ""«™<''> f sa,„e. The gcvvgaws and the shew of dress Soo.nVi" nV'^'' '''^^'-^ ^«^tter knew Nor could I happiness foresee ^^^'^^ ^ Ijer wishes to possess I JO as I would not be outwitted t ''?'' ^-^P^'isive gaiety • She threw about her lively Ss A. > ^ ''"''^^'y ^'^^ ^-iciy quitted* iiut left the Miss, as Fm afraid, "^J - ' "^ '"'^ '^^''' tonish taste mV' I'^^/P"' ^ ^^'^^'-^t a shame° ^'" '-^"''^uated maid "Inextb^^;J^-;.,^-;:JJ^lush.nan.. • W?n«\-\ PouSfs! rt/"^ of gentle J..H, Shp r^ M ^''. '''-'"'"^ "^y marriage bed In ev'ry useful, household rnr. 2i ^ "'>' money ; To scold the servants she «asVe" X",,'""^ "-'■•" ^1"'->' ^''nre .- Though she was eaS, she , '™od ' ""'" ""'^^''' '"^• Though foelo eve^v' ''^ ''"' "'^ "eighbouSood "'' \XM • ? • , '■o every vam exoense cu . . W h,eh mded the industrious'^oor; And fed "Jh^K ''''' " '»n«olenee A ength she bore^«e'children twai ' ''""'■"^ "' '"^'^ """r- . liut which I St 11 relatp wJfK r.^- * When procreative nature stirr'd '"^'7 P^'"' She, with the child, her nev^borrp'riSr'' '' ^'"^ ^ ^^'^^^ " Now rl- "'^^"'"^s dawn, ere evening died Aow discontent for once possessVI tL • ?' And sorrows, scarcely knownf °ncrease -^o .V" 7'"^""'" ^^ "»y breast Hence calm reflection bids me try In Hv ^' "^^ domestic peace : To soothe a widow'd father's 'Jj "^"^en s cord another tie, The widow1?.VS ntf sS 'tvT^^ '''^'' Most fit. if nnf .],„ 1" .-* 50"ght, Who Was an ohlp,-, ,.. t .^ . . , . Who would a -tender m^oS;S prove To°bab ""f'^^^^'^^o'iately'gr;.' And, w..h a warn, affection, b^e,™ " Vk^^d^ a^SX^^fc 27^ THE TOUR OP DOCTOR SYNTAX Nay, as she had a little pride, Whose wants her fortune ill supplied, I thought, when I my hand should proffer. She'd jump transported at the offer : But, instead of grateful graces. Smiling looks and warm embraces. She, on venal interest bent, A rascally attorney sent To claim a hungry settlement. With such conditions at the close. That up in arms my passions rose : When, to return his saucy airs, I sent him, spite of all his prayers, Four steps at once adown the stairs. Thus the vile lawyer's head I broke And cast away the Widow's yoke. " At length the best of girls I chose, Whom my good friend the Doctor knows. And knows I'm certain, to admire As all a husband can desire. Two more fine bairns my Kate has given. The finest offspring under Heaven : While she a parent is as good To all the other growing brood, As their own mother would have been. Had she remain'd upon the scene. Nor docs she anything to teaze me. But always, always what will please me. Whate'er I wish or do prefer. Becomes an instant law to her. By Jove I swear, it is no joke. To please me she has learn'd to smoke, And after dinner you will see A smoking trio we shall be Beneath a spreading beechen-tree : Where we our mod'rate cups will quaff. There hear your pleasant tales and laugh — And o'er the philosophic bowl Let loose the language of the Soul." Syntax. — " 'Squire Ned, your Hist'ry makes me feel. As I must own, an added zeal. Once more to try my future fate In vent'ring on the marriage state. Two Widows I have on my list, And cannot you contrive to twist Into the roll some female friend. My hopes to feed, my chance to mend ?" Thus as he spoke, the welcome bell The dining hour was heard to tell : Mirth and good eating there } revail'd ; No stomach round the table fail'd ; And when with grateful pious zeal. The Grace had sanctified the meal. The smoking trio soon was seen Beneath the tree upon the green. Ned Easy and the Doctor sat With pipe in hand in usual state ; Thoughtless one look'd, the other wise, With sleepy or with twinkling eyes. While Ma'am the Aromatics blended, To gain the scent which she intended. As she would not her taste disturb With plain Virginia's common herb . She thought it would be vulgar joking, T' acquire its perfume by her smoking. — ^An ivVy pipe with silver tip She took within her rosy lip, And, as she whiff'd her sweet lips moving Set the exhaling vapour roving : 379 IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. While o'er her brow it secmVl to wander And 'mid thl\rat;Vo7fer?e'" "'"^^^^^^ i M • For a 3h^^m^^|;;;-;:;,enectin^^^^^ When 'Squire Ned a glass propos'd, ^ * And thus his friendly thoughts disclos'd. His Rev rence does our counsel crave, WT T ;(^'^'^ our best counsel he shall have Whose equal virtues ma v reSnr^ ti ^ ^^"^'^g ^^"^ another bride And now, my Cath'rine, what say you ? ' Jx\ ^^^^ ^*"^' 'delightful art, \\^^^ rV; °^,^ ^°""^s ca» I'aise or melt the heart We know f„U we, t^e Doctor's ,n. And tha.^n!'aT «^n her .o his wil, .- His'leL^^^Inl h^:'?,:!^^encr '" '™""' """' Anl'l'Sdrh^^o^^eco.mi^e^JI' So 1T\ T\ "" 'T "'"""^'^ ' But all these virtues will not do "fi^ -.k ^ .''"^'^•'"}'' '» ™y Wend : There s not an instrument they say. From ,!,„ I °V''^"^^ Miss Crotchet cannot play, Nari?e\'e°i; b'^fS^SstSl ' """^L IVf f ™r!,^' ''^"'-*- •• ^^-^ '^^S^e?«~ let - -^'^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ With manners that are form'd'to please ye. Now if this scheme you should approve Tj T -V?. fo^^^^ard your designs in love Believe me, Sir, Pll not nedect Tn Vlii \«. u And in the vvarmest terms comm ''f "^^"r"" ^^^ "^^^ ^^^Pect ; Though, on reflec'tiorrmtsTown"' Th^Srot'beTo hJ"^' (""^' •' I'm certain, Doctor, there's no^lange;' ^" '' '''' ""^"°""- 1 hat she will tre' ^ you as a stranger." Syntax -" Well, if I do not gHin my ends An^ T }\ ''''^^ ""^^ ^^ ^°^ ^'-^nt of friends, ^ ' And I must be comp etely stunid if t ^ . /- -, To aid me in the various views Whirl, n. ^^1 ^? """f ^"^ ^ C"P»d E/>r i...'c o« TT„'i.:„\T."^ ^^^^^ VVliich now my pleasing- honp=: ar^^uL . Wiio;Pr^^^lS:hffer!;js'nair"'(SfH^ For yoith hf ht^'lj^oisoi^d anl"^^ '""'''''^'^ -^^^•°- inat makes a bustle in the marrow, 28o THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And to the blood conveys the heat That makes the am'rous pulses beat ; Which, with soft langour clothes the eyes, The tongue with vows, the breast with sighs : But for Miss Crotchet I must find A Cherub of another kind, Who, when he to his call engages The grave Philosophers and Sages, His garlands are not made of roses, Nor does he scatter fragrant posies, Their beauties with the season's past. Their fragrance is not made to last. But on his sober brow is seen The lasting wreaths of ever -green. Nay, when he wantons in the gay days Of matrons and of learned ladies. Another character he bears. And other emblems then he wears. For stocking blue resigns his bow. And slumbers on a folio. But in that near approaching hour When I behold Miss Crotchet's bower, I must call Cupid, as he chuses To wanton with the lady Muses, To dip his cup and take his fill Of the clear Heliconian rill ; And, to possess himself of hearts. Play on the dulcimer with darts, Or inflict all his secret wounds By the soul-soothing pow'r of sounds. But I've my doubts, I e'en must own. Whether the lady may be won By any int'rest I may prove With this same treach'rous God of Love. But should sage Syntax act the fool And feel the shafts of ridicule, He will, at least, have done no more Than wiser men have done before ; And when no ill is thought or meant He'll join the laugh — and be content. — To-morrow I shall see again The bow'ry scenes of Soimnerden^ To pass a grave, reflecting week. Before I my adventures seek ; Re-tune my voice with fara-diddle, And practise on my welcome fiddle ; I then with spirit shall engage In matrimonial pilgt image." As Syntax finish'd his discourse, A friend was seen to quit his horse, And soon Bob Single made his bows First to the Lady of the house, Who as she did those bows receive. Curtsied in form and took her leave. Then Easy's hand he warmly squec^'d, And Syittax by both elbows seiz'd ; Nor did the smiling neighbour fail To claim the jug that foam'd with ale. — In lands and woods this 'Squire had clear At least twelve hundred pounds a year. And, in a sober state or mellow, Was a good-humour'd jovial fellow : Nor had he an unsocial name But in the article of game ! And if he prov'd a vengeful foe, It was the poachers found him so : For, by foul means to catch a hare, To ply a net or lay a snare, W^as, by this rigid sportsman's reason, — .„>j uirs acv Oi couiii-i Which he with more than vengeance due, Call'd the law's rigour to pursue, « iN SEARCH OF A WIFE. ^O- And punish'd, in his legal rage Wifh mf ^^ • -, He oft was he-.rd to take the lead, ^ ' No. did .eflTct^S ^am" "'°"^'^' ^""^^ ' . In politics was alwavs hearty. Nor fnr = m„„ '^'l "I! Stentorian talk : f' Priva^, petty':- t^^Sis'dai'n.S r""'"'' '^''^"^''1 "'^ P^«y ! Nor eyer fa^'d, wi't'irnactaeyed 1?" ""'™"'°"' ^ '^'f" ' Andinwar:I"];^'„:|:'S'pl'e?e;""*'"^-t\ ' • Thus when he foSnd'the nupUal state Had be^S^r "1"' °^ bachelor. With blunt rem4 anToft-tdd sto?y, *'' '"""''' "' ''^'^=«-. A., I -.1 • ""^ S"*'^'-F. soon was in his elory • And with important look, beeun Tr.VJi- Bob Single 5™ thank mv iM^^'^Pr""^ ^«™'s "-un. I was not made for llyery , >^ "="' """ ' '"" f"^^ •• Pardon me, Doctor, but the Church 'h,. 1 should prefer the ficmpen str^T ' "'h "^5 Ff^ "= '". '." '"rch : y>"et I love, and that word WIFE -Our friend, Ned Easy, I allow, I'm £ "ff ^"■"^''■ow, as a whim. I m fore d to own that prizes three, ^.,u n, But this,: think"" ri:;"d'orVo"''"n;°''"?;' , For ihen iTaM w&t he wis do " '"^"' ™^" ' "-- = T . • J 1 thought him running to his ruin • "' KiS^nXL^gd''™ ^7'"' i^n^T r'f ^°}'^ "^ f-«-n ■' The curious journey would teyain ?^i ° '"'^ °' ^^y '» I^°ver, r' know yoi-U arg'ue tlla? a na. in Exist's^arofeVv *= ''""Y^''"' That ril acknowledge to be fnm Ti.^ ^xists alone by population : To what is said by s?ate phvs "fans f,?/ '3^^^ ^^^ ^ ^^^^^ or two I reason but from wha I see Vhn. "^ nidd e-noddle politicians, Exceptions I ^^-'P ^' ^"^nds is 1.^""" " ^"^' '" ^^^^" ^^^- Are rare m Grammar rules of Love 1 m sure that I could name a score' Wlf."^°?J • ^"^ .^^'^^' y^^' twenty more, Who m their wives have so miscarried, r.iey scarce have smil'd since they were married. --There's Billy Humble will not own ^ That he detests his bouncing Joan : Hc^v oft that yerry Sneak appears, With Smilina-fQ,-^ o«J ...-11 ^K,, , ' When with soft wordsTnd fbndirn^* kiss ' H? Si'' r • While all, who know ;Lfcowa"d! Sfv' ' "^'^""^'"'^^ ^"^^' He scarce dare look, or speak or go, ^.^o xx^vci guL me in its lurch • 1 o licence and a wedding rine Is but another name for strife • Is better for the marriage vow \ Has work'd a miracle for him. And rich ones too, I do agree, S82 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But as in form, or mode, or measure, ^ She pleases to make known her pleasure. I saw the booby t'other day As he was pacing on his way To fetch a doctor for his wife. Whose illness might affect her life. Nay he insisted he should cry For a full week, if she should die And on this errand full of love, He went as slow as foot could move His long, lank face, by home-bred wars, Look'd red with scratches and with scars. Which he wiOi stamm'ring tongue complain'd From his bad razors were sustain'd : I laugh'd to hear his barefac'd tales :— The razors were his spouse's nails." The Doctor now impatient grown, Of all he heard 'bout Jack and Joan ; With grave looks and sarcastic twang, Thus put a stop to Bob's harangue. Syntax.—" I've heard these stories o'er and o'er. You know it Bob, and many more ; I wish you'd tell us something new, And what is better, something true- Not this poor cant, so stale, so dull. That may come forth from any scull. Excuse me but it makes me sick. Because I think it is a trick That men the marrin' e state deride Some folly of their own to hide' VVhen in a wife they have niiscairied, ' And some low vulgar baggage married ; Some black-ey'd Moll, or rosy Nan, Some priestess of the dripping-pan, To whom malicious Cupid gave. Such wond'rous powers to enslave, Sfln?",f ^S\r. iF""^ ^'^^^^ . 5°"^^^ "°^ ^e^i^t his am'rous fate wAi. A^'^ • M* ?*^ ^° T^' ..^^'^ ^^"^ t« k^eP the rites unknown He bears disguis'd the sturdy bride, To secret vales or some moor-side Where he may to his deary go, And none the am'rous parley know Then to delude suspicion's eye From looking after mystery ?nLhf ""i^''^"i!"'^/°^? "°^^^'^ ^Sainst the marria|e-state to rail;' Laughs at all nusbands, wives abuses, And no occasion e'er refuses To treat with scorn the wedded vow, As you, Bob, have been doing now ; Talks all the scandal that he can. Then steals away to Moll or Nan In some sly corner to improve The unknown joys of wedded love.' 'THl cnn ' 1 "^fi/^ ^"°''''' *° '^^^ ^^ unsuspected bachelor. Or k.^. ^"^^°°k'd for strange event. Or from neglect or accident Or the keen watchful, prying eye Of envious curiosity Ur the good dame's impatient pride To draw the cruel veil aside, Which did her real station hide, Display'd at length the hidden plan _ And brought him forth a married man. A nine days wonder, it is tru.^. He then appear'd to public view ^aS^ '^ '\^t'^b ^'^'- ^? ^'' P^^*^ Against the matrimonial stat^; An^ now of Benedicts is found The hanniesf all tl.. r^n„..„ .™T --inus nave I known a cunning hen Le'ave her domestic, noisVoen And seek the covert of a bush Where all was quiet, a^l wasffi; IN SEjiliCH Ur 4 lyifji 183 l^nlVh^iw"^^^?' "-.'Iieard, unseen, Till in due .imeTfe LdZolt^r^ f?'''^' g^«n, ^P^'na^c^^.^l^l^^c. hopes and fears, ten t?^ ""suspecled chidfo'n''^'^'"^- SKrcV-TH-nS^dT„r May your long wedded mate appear With littF;"?'"/""'. ^^osity- Whel'=pI,?on1r; '?^ -^-^-s do'^r """ '""""^ ''^^• When eu.M"or '''"^^^^"'"^^^^^^^^ "^• ^."^/-C^iJCf-epro.^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Tha cold compliance may be so d "°"'>' J"'' =" "=«' Tha wav'nng hearts may be contrmil'H But love's beyond the price of gold"*"" n^ , "°^ "y j°"al, jeering friSd Do to these wholesoie trulhs aSend ' How great the good were they h"p"es And soft"?''""'''' g'°"™g breast ; Misses'^ hn,°f7™' py n°isy trample s. No wants eStrn-^rhS"^?,",!"^^ '"'^'^ All comfort on them'sdves depends" '"''^ "■'*' ^'"^ P"'^^^ ■ They want not power, nor wealfh n'^, / • ^ •Tirf'''S'i^*^^''^ML.rstore, "'•'' Each other X':^it%%'!LTo':^^,^'"''7 ■ And on theX julce^ itn't'^'^' ""''T ^i' l»S:it ^?Sr3>="' ^^"'"'"' ■■ --BOB'S visage gloom'd with discontent m^«.e, it ^rat;;'ci^e^o\e^;-°'°- -:::::: .. , The net was spread, when Bob was cauglit, •—■'—■ 284 TffE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And that a picture had been shown ^^ _ Which conscience told him was his own. Doctor." he said, " I must agree, You much too learned aie for me •» Then fill'd the cup with ample measure, * And gave a frown that mark'd displeasure : Puird the bell-rope with all his force. And bade the servant bring his horse : But though invited much to stay. He grumbled A^^-and went his way —Syntax exclaim'd, " O let him pout, I think that we have found him out : what a bursting of the bubble To see Bob Siui^le carry double ' 1 nough now m other view so zealous I warmly hope to hear him tell us' That life no higher joys can prove ' , Than those which flow from wedded love." In friendly chat the evening pass'd, Sleep's balmy season came at last ; When Easy said, " Here take my hand, My heart, you know, you may command : buch as It is. It ne'er beguiles With flattery's deceitful smiles f you return to Keswick's side. With a kind, gracious, pleasing bridei I shall, with truth unfeign'd, rejoice And loud congratulating voice • But should your varying suits miscarry, * Should it not be your lot to marry. And you might sometimes wish to roam From your too solitary home Here you will find your friend Ned Easy, ' Ready to do his best to please you." —Syntax return'd the grasping fist. And with due grace the lady kiss'd 1 hen sought the pillow's welcome powers ' And slept through night's refreshing hours. On the next morning, when the sun His daily course began to run The Doctor took an early flight, In hopes to see his home at night'. Up to the hill he now ascends. Then to the vale his way he bends Lnjoys his meal at mid-day hour Beneath a cot's inviting bower U ershadowed by the mantling vine. And sweet with flow'rs of eglantine' Fregnant with matrimonial dreams, u u 1 , ^'^ "att'ring fancy's thousand schemes. He had beguil-^ s sultry way. When, at the misty close of day, He reach d the door he call'd his own, But sigh'd to find himself alone. Old Marg'ret hop'd that he was come ^n health and better spirits nome ; With kinu attention did dispose Her glasses on her peaked nose. To see what signs his features bare Of calm contentment or of care the good dame saw nothing there ; x>Jo cheerful aspect there was shown. To call forth pleasure on her own. —She told him all the village news. As in his chair he chose to muse : While he laid out where he had been, What he had heard, whom he had seen, And, wheresoe'er his face appear'd. The welcomes which his bosom cheer'd, But now the manor-house was left. And for some months would be bereft i^ SEARcn OF A WIPE. 285 vvncn Ins free spirits were assail'd Such joy to hear a female tone ^""^.f o<:'-->I Poivor must be obey'd • Though oM and u^i^ '^^^^ «- "30^-''" ""' "^ ■^'^ ■' Nay, ere another vfeek is oW ^'' , ■„ Jl-f"" '"'e in taeilurnity Nor e'er return, if I have Ufe^ 'Ti | T ^«r" "'^"nportant tour! ' "" ' ""^"^ found another wife !" CANTO 11. TlSXs''hfsSst^:™?,^T;;''-„:f<'-^Aki^ Nor ,s ,t to the form confin'd, For thcrf n fr""' '° ?"'"•■>'■'' ^1""' And, perhaps fairest ridicule Rests w ,h T"'"''" "^ ""^ '"»«'■ Does the grave a.tl'onXm'=™/,!,l\"'>>^'?''g^. Than where he in Tife-s'et y vt'o^ °"^ '° '^"""«'^ "-"o ; And a„ tho^r's'VI rS ^f^e^l™" ^^^f f '^^ Asivs o( vain Fashion's various! t^ So '"^ •''""""'"^ hours of spring, TI>o.se trappings of\xterio,^ro,v ^^'^^ '"''''"'""^ '° '»Part^ -The real ^onfthTstet?" "T' f"'i'" "'= -^-u- Reason, reflectio^ 'Xcing"s!nTe"'' ''"'^i'l' '» "'^ -e" understood. Wlide what the surface mav disSav Tn ' i""?™ ^"' "^''Perience Claims httle but to see and' hear ^ ^° f""' i^^<^, in open day Syntax well knew tha't what gave birdf ^ ''^'' ''" °P™ <='''''- , J' or, he exclami'd, " in this «a,„„ T I do foresee, nay I am sure, tnis same Tour I almost trembl,: ,0 recount them '""'" ' =''^" "''"''^ ' I must a difft nTcoms^pt^st"' to surmount them. My habits I must lay asiS " ^^^Zf "^«' ''« been us'd to do • For i s"4u nevrS.!'ii'..^„"-?^' "f -hat theu^^rl Unless I mend "X- -y/ iiuitu vviui pride ; conceit n.y awkward p.ies And^'ili ttt'o^f^hc'S the Graces, 286 THE TOUR OP DOCTOR SYNTAX In common visits I could do, t?,.* t»^ *„,-•* j . I may my flatt'ring unction plv t ^ "^'^ ^"f *° '^°° ' But then do I nossess thr n rt t i i ^ ? P^^''^^ ^ ^''^^^'X s vanity ; ° " Tid S u , To Pl'-iy the humbug with the heart ? Thn/l '"'"'' "^^^ '^'^^' ^^^ fragrance lives, ^'^ \^ru , 1^'''^' ^?'* conservatory gives, Will ne'er allow tobacco's fumo t^ , • i. ' '"^ ^^'- Vhlt^r^'T ^^^^ A^uTdTo^t^'SeTd^^^ Which, from the morn to night, she sees ^ ' On flow rs and plants, on shrubs and trees. May wi h a sudden shriek start back When she beholds my dingy black • My speech then must be rich with flowers Atihp.'^,,,^ „ ^ .• t. And I must bow and I must bend ' ^s^er own aromatic bowers ; And I must tell her she^as fair ' ^'' A^'//^T!5 ^ Pf'"^^^"^ ^ If I should dare to snatch a k ss VVhil. t . ! \'K ''^ ^u^' ^^^'^^ ^'■^• 1 ^"'^'■^" 'i i^isb, While I taste th' ambros al hiicc A IT. T.^^^ l^"""^' ^° '^^"^'^^ the plants are prone '^"''"'^^'^''^ '^^'^S' And Dr. Darwm's verse has shownf I must imnlnr^ fn i.. t, I must implore to let me hone ThnI t ^"^P^^,*^^ J^ ^e her own : And in return that shJ^i^ay^^e A 1T^ w ^!'' heliotrope, But I must never say or sln^ Thnf ft r ^"^ Heliotrope to me. Though after all, I f^r she'H find Tha I h^ve'left^Mav V.^^\'P.""f ' That I am, what she does not want A stn„r fh. f ,^T^^^ V^^'"^ ' And much I fear I shall not prove TliS n, hmn V" /'^"^^"^"al plant ; However I will do mv hVcf ^^^^^ . VY^^ autumn is the time for love : xiowever i will do my best And to my stars must leave the rest Still, on my way new doubts, I find wi .1 /\!"^ ^^er springing in my mind : vVhether with comment or with text T f^fA i,^,, t i, n i Whene'er the learned dame I see ' tT. '^''" ^% Perplex'd, She has just pass'd the sprang of life • So far she^lu^" °^ V^^iology. But to my hopes O what a blovv ' ui I she 11 suit me as a wife ; For 'tis her wish, asTt appears To fnl'.M ^^ 5^'^ '° '^" ^^' ^° ' And therefo. .^..p., ^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^ - ^- J -^^ saucy years For surely I've too much discerning, ^ ^"^ ' AxV ',^°u^i*^^^ "'^'^ praise for learning Would bribe her glowing heart's consent^ Tf T ,^ However deck'd with compliment : It 1 could brush up to her door With liv'nVri fro;», ^«j t. I then of love migl^ truly speak, Zd tdl my Cy^i^^uTe^fnGt/k"' And by^the sentiment art MakeCa'nn^f "' f ?" !!''"''' And if I can the way discover To he /„t'lSF '° ^^"^ ?^^"- I'll treat this Lady bmicrm ° "w^ ? mLZ ^i "" '°™''' The poet and hi-rian £^^^ ^^^^P^^^S^Q^^, A _ , r , _ -"^^ ^^^^ a source of miracles : *^ ' uT„chTL??SLr- -• .„ ticSroMSSS.»£ -; "^ SEASc/i OF A mre. ' ,gy '"'hat due figure to appear Whirl, 1, •, ,'^''""""8 '"•d" f 'gff'd Whose final hisfry will Sisplay ^'"<^'' suits the views of this career T-,.,s did he 4/o„, thus iJ^t^lZ °'"" '"'"" ''^^•" And all hisTe'lide meWng" fs"'"'^™"?'"'M- Then turns a. times hlsafri™ eyc^" "'" "'^' ^r^'"--' ■"? P^^P^^" ! Which might prepare him for his nil A,,^ , '° s<^'entific botany. And th'us by various meanf^l^^'^'""^ ■""" at Tu'iP-Half In the ine?n^,S1i =stS,?d"'1b"oVrtrf '°^^- And w.ith kind concbscen'df„yX °'- "' P°PP'd 'n and out. Chatted with those he chanc'd to see H»VT"' =•,'/" "'e church-yard walkimr While Mat thV^^r""^™' •^^'■n'y talking, '""^' He'-iL^s^I^L^^ b^^fdr;-"" ^ 1-1- ^^^ half out of a grave , On whom long'past heriariy yS "°'"" "^^ •>-■"=>'»«! And on her^h^ fhe^'c^rilt^ I^a^r^V^ ^^^^ ^^^ With ag? she:Sstmplt:iy':£t''""'''^'' '-"^ -<' 'h-c An'd ^IJ'" '"* '""'""S weakness bent Wh ^,f ^'°V"S man's arm she leant When thus she to the Doctor spoke ' "I hope my'"sui "mV' tris^a^ry"' T'""^^ \ His Rov'rence then,;id's"crnf7eye, ' "Be'°afil?r'' '■'"' '" "''"y-" Th-old -'-T'-aZ^?^^^^^ f^nltTr ^-o'gCott^ ^ hgXok beg,d leave to say I mean no harm as I can see! wY^T/'^V ^'°"°"^'^ reverence : Now Syntax, had he seen a ghost ■^''' '° ^^^^^^ '"''"- cannot be an id'le pra^ter, ^'^^ '^>^ ^^^f ;: V , 1 only wish you'd marry me Tn n,o ^"^ -^^' ^^ follow nature • And I declare as I'm alH? ^° ^^'" >'°r^ "^^^ ^vhom here you see ' I know I ne'er was much a beautv T^„f t '"""^ ^'''/^ '''^^^' ^ut sixty-five.' Ami why should I withhold consem If I'm ut'lf V^^^ ^^'" ^^ ^is duty I know that many silly folk ' wm 2 ^""P^^^ ^^'-^nd he's content? Anrl'^lAf fk^"^ 1 ', ^^^" protection ; Th?/f ^u^"^ ^^"S^' ^^hen they shall That he has made a fool of me. see tS3 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVf/TAX The girls may scoff, but they'd be glad To have for sweethearts such a lad. If I told all that I could tell"— Syntax.—" If you were quiet, 'twere as well. Sexton, I now must trust to you What with tlicse people I'm to do.** Sexton.—" An' please you, Sir, I know the story Of this same pair who stand before you : And though I feel I am but dull— One is a knave and one's a fool • Her collage, that's by yonder wall, He wishes to be his— that's all. IJcsidcs 'tis known that Mother Horner Has gold and notes in some sly corner, And when that he has nos'd them out, The Raff will make them fly about : Though young he is a sorry sot, Her little all will go to pot • If he's permitted to deceive her He soon will to the parish leave hen I know the boy from five years old. Saucy and impudent and bold : When than that stone he was not higher He was a most notorious liar ; And I must own I should be loth To take his word upon his oath : This leg of mine 'gainst that dead bone 1 11 lay, that he's not twenty-one. Always so wicked, and so wild, 'Tis said he's Farmer Fatgut's child, For he maintain'd him while he liv'd, And his tricks oft the old man griev'd. He has been caught in laying snares For catching 'Squire Worthy's hares, And now with artful, am'rous fuss, He's laid a snare for that old puss • And, if not stopp'd in what he's doing, ' He'll lead the old fool to her ruin ; For if he could, ne'er mind the sin, He'd eat her flesh and sell her skin." Again the old dame rais'd her voice, " Pray," said the Doctor, " cease your noise, Or else I fear you'll wake the dead. Beneath the ground whereon you tread." The Sexton once more stopp'd his trade, And spoke while resting on his spade : " Your Rev'rence, please you, need not fear, She'll recollect who's sleeping here : 'Twas one who gave her many a thwacking, To punish her foul tongue for clacking. Persuade her that her tongue would wake Old Simon, and she ne'er would speak. I knew old Simon Horner well, I dug his grave, I rung his knell Nay, well I know this is the spot Where his remains were left to rot • And I do thmk, or I'm a fool, That this is honest Simon's scull ; And while I'm shov'ling 'mong these stones, I bring to light his mould'ring bones. Look dame and see how he is grinning, To keep his wanton rib from sinning." " Have done," the Doctor said, " have done Matthew this is too solemn fun ; ~ "' If . ''^ ^^E ARC It OF A Wipe When the boW^^a^'n'r;^ !?"'"'' '"'^ ««- <;ave the rude clown J" s"un,l I'k"''"'"^' w'Sie'-^Ws'^de^r^^^^^^^^^ Stroke after serol& T ^^^^^^"^^ '""' " ''''^'"■" Whether life's pleasure nr ;? ^^^^^p'ng dreams, And , ,„ P,--e OS pan. oi„ .^ our bourse or form the train • In alf ?ll^ •'^"•" y^t ^^^^ seen "^ ^^.T'' '° '^' appointed TouV ' Well-curried Punrhn ^^^^"' ^"''^'■^ : Whnehea»-S»^^^^ For prancing PhiIlis^now"fIs ton^Tf'"^''' '" "^'''•"'^ wei..hty lond • -...., las fti£;;S=;sr / "o urgent wants oppress'd, 19 "■"■^•i «90 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX And with Who rariRe at large and unconfin'd, Free as the impulse of he wind Are often driven to and fro By the various gusts that blow Unless calm reason checks her force And keeps them in their steady course. The passions are of life the gales ; Then keep the helm and watch the sails, a clear and steady eye Look to the haven where you hie. « N \y ought I not/ thought our Divine, " 1 ' locx- ;0 that which may be mine ? It sceras, index: ^ retty port. Where Cupid may perhaps, resort, And minm ' ^ ^r^ices three Is said to live in harmony ; And who 'nows it may be my fate To nestle t iiere and change my state I Its Mistress IVe ne'er chanc d to see, /((or have htr eyes e'er look'd on me, Or my ori-inality, Ir IS n(H that my form preten u^ To dash at matrimonial ends ; 'Ti"' by my tongue 1 must S!r<'cccd, «Ti^ t^at must do th' imporla ^^ deed : 1 must depend oi. classic vigour To give allurement to my figure ; And watching her coquettish art. Make my way boldly to her heart. 'Tis not by canting or by whining, Or a long course of undermmmg, That this fine fort can be obtain'd ; By sudden storm it must be gain'd. Throw out false colours to her eye, By weavings fine of flattery ; That she tho^e weaker parts may show Which will not stand a sudden blow. If thus my powers should succeed 'Twill be a more than glorious deed . And if I fail 'twill be no more Than many a one has done before : F'en heroes of the first renown, Have had their hopes all tumbled down, But then they did i ot strive in vain Bravely to build them up again, While persevering ardours bless Their final darings with success. Thus checr'd by hope, my prospect's fair, I snap my fingers at despair. One will be full enough for me ; And my work must loc idly done And if dispos'd to be as kind If I could find a Widow Horner . Well-looking and dispos'd to cooing ; O it would save a world of woomg And then I should re-visit home Without another wish to roam. ' Thus half in earnest, half in joke. He in soft, mutt'ring whispers spoke. —Of saunt'ring folk he would enquire The name of ev'rv village spire, Who was the Parson, who the 'Squire ; Whether the one his virtues prov'd By such good deeds as made him lov'd, And if the other did excel I n the first art of preaching well. Nor did he ever fail to speak With those he chanc'd to overtake ; , And even had they nought to say He was as well conl. i.i ,-S tuey ;| So that they did wcll-pleas'd appear, And give his words j; b?V.;;-K .;ar. 'Twas thus hejail'd not to beguile^ With joleasant chat the ung ring i.ulc| Phoebus his course had almost run, A.nd soon would put his night-cap on, ^,ut for struggles I prepare, ){ these so tempting fair-ones three If I do not secure that one— As the old dame I left behind : Wealthy and willing in a corner, tJ&-^\ reaching \yc11. 1 to overtake ; j Tims to prepare Lim for his nan On ti, i- , ^hcn the embou"';!^ spot n^is een°^^ '^^^^ °^T^^^-' ''^P And liappM to ktVthe'D ^or .^ l"°^ '^''^''^ ^-'^^-^le, The Doctor too was glad to heir a , . , • In this fair Lady arc combin'H TKo i •" ^P^^ ^^ interested car She's rich withal and has wiUis "ood H^^^^^^^ ^^'^ and mini When many a suitor, but in va n l k^ ' "^^u"^^ ' '" idowhood The soldier bold, the"dashing ' c ul"" ""'' ^^^^ '^ ^hu^ ncauxofval^;;^:;SsilK^J^^''*H«-^ Snle^n^'^ '^i^ said l>as' worn ""shl'„^'!| V^l"^ ^"'-^^ ^^^ P^'- ^ Unless the saffron-maniled power Wo M iofn t ^^'T^'' ''°"'^ ^'^'^^ni To one with anc.^MU Lrn^g ^^^^^^^ *" ^'^ ^'^^--^te bower ^V't'^^-i" that modern science tni..;/' And m whose talents miL'ht ho fUrii -?£ tau-i t, For one endued with sS a mi^d Sh^vf 1'''''' °^ ^^"'"^ ^"^ of taste. A scholar and a virtuous sage Win te4 Sis' In^'"''^^"^^^' ^^^^''^ ^^ A Witt, a ^oro.:i:^!:^j^^--^^^^ ''"''''' ''^^ ^^^' To all that superncialrace Who know 'n' ^f''' ^l^' ^fninfenou* And are enchanted by the pKe '^^"^"^ '^^•>'«'^'l ^hc facQ That waves in fashion's drawing-room " Think you that she will keep her word ?» When he was answer'd frank and free u ^it ^ ^"^^^ enquiries ought to be • * My understanding's too refinVI 'r. V .u I cannot know and do not care What whLl °"' ^ u"^ ^^^^'^ "^'n^» For mv best half doth never own ^S X ,I-t' " ^'"'"'"^^ '^' ^'^ A fond and amiable she, Aff.^ni" , '""^ '' 1° '"^ unknov n But heai- the best amhoHty!' " '"^"^ ^^^^* ^^» ^^ i- -The Widow's Rector oft displays And he is k^^^vllr/tLI t^ H""''' '^''^ He has fi-ee entrance at the Hal Whenf ^""^ "'' ^^''^'""'d '''vine. Though IVe been told it is but are He's known'Tn^'' '\^^'''^'^ '^ ^^l'> For when she's in a cerLIn ^Jhim '^ ^^^ ^"' ""''^^ '^'^'^\ bhe strives to play some trirk xvU\. ^ • a,t she's as lightsome^s a fa1?y' iJpAn'k i.^'i' T''\ '""ocenT As a coquette she daily dances, Then era.1fi^= K, '''"'"?'<:='' vagary : 1 0-day, to deck her charms hiclin'd Tn mil ^'"'' «""^king fancies ; Twill not surprise him if she marrie!, "^ ' 19—3 292 THE TOVR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX If she chuse one of science full, Or one impenetrably dull, Some grave man for his sterling sense, Or parson for his eloquence : Nor would he wonder, if through life She ne'er renew'd the name of wife. And now, Sir, you may form a notion Of Madam Omicron's promotion." It must be own'd that all this news To Syntax was of sovereign use, To shape the plans he had in view, Inform him what he had to do And how and in what way to woo. ' — Thus arm'd, he sent Pat on before, T' announce his coming at the door. Where Madam O , with smiling face, And the most condescending grace. Gave her best welcome to the cot, Which was her philosophic lot For such she's named the charming spot. ' The walls were festoon'd o'er with flowers, Here winged boys and there the hours Floated along in airy ease. The surface of the lengthen'd frieze ; And all around he scem'd to see Some well-dress'd Pagan Deity! She plac'd him in a satin chair, 'Tween Mercury and Jupiter And plac'd a stool with fruitage drest On which his either foot to rest! —Thus seated with the Olympic folk, Syntax began to scent a joke ■ And, fitting their forms to his own. Doubted if he should smile or frown. " If this," he thought, " be classic fun, I'll gravely wait what's to be done : If of the scene I am the jest I'll work my way and act my best." The Doctor felt that his queer phiz Was such as might invite a quiz ; For, right or wrong, he seem'd to see Quizzing was her propensity At all points therefore he prepar'd To keep himself upon his guard In jesting to give joke for joke, If it were wit, give stroke for stroke • If learnmg he were call'd to ply. To mix it up with flattery, And cull from poets and from sages The gallantries of former ages. An antique tripod now appear'd Upon three grinning Satyrs rear'd, And at each corner there was wrought The visage of a bearded goat ; The basins which contain'd the tea Show'd ornamental sympathy! For they shone bright with golden darts. The cakes too bore the form of hearts. While the dark vase that held the cream Did the Etruscan fabric seem. —And now a glove the Widow dropp'd When up in haste the Doctor popp'd. To give back with an eager grace. The fallen tnrie to its place • When the stool tripp'd, and threw him o'er In sprawling length along the floor : The tripod also sought the ground. The goats and satyrs lay around, And chma's broken forms display'd The ruin which his fall had made. M «'-.»»« i~ fU^ 1 — 11 _i:_ J 1 _ ■ 1 a. am lu liic ucil piiCU bllCH a Sli OKC That the rich silken cordage broke. And pale-fac'd maids came rushing in f*'^ SEARCH OF A WIFE. 293 hat he had to do, md act my best." scan fabric seem. nrie to its place; Ti T^ ^^ ^"°^ ^^at caus'd the mio-hfv rl.'n p.,f 1 ^^" °'^^" "^eet a fate like mine '" ^0 brnVt'aV^S S^",t?r ^^^ ^-V^' ^^"^^^■■".^ -r^^ -Peated. If safe in hand, if safe inlrm L '1 rn"; "° "'!''^'"^ ^'^^^^ ^^"iv'd never, never' mind the resT' AnH h/''"f ^??^' ""^''^^^ ^l^rm Genius does aw'ljard thingtthe'/sayli'^'^^"' ^^ ^^^^'"^ ^ A "\^°l"g them, aye, ev'ry day : ^ v" ''n''?^]' ;^^at you shall know me better You'll find m me. Sir, a la Icttre, ' U hat Pope so honours with applause Ne'er n.^r' "^•'^,' "^'^^^^'^^ ^^^^-"S, FVn *K^l' ^^"IPJamts, nor frowns, nor squalls But to dispS ^o^Zt^i^r^ ^ '^"^- ^An^ Bac^cp^^^^^^^^^^^ meS^y^S^ ''''' '^'^ ^ ^^^'^^' T -u- .^" ^^^^ Syntax, " by your leave I will with your commands deceive ' But please you, I'll excuse the stool Unless you I'p^cu'e me" ne"' %t' '''' '?°^' Where (may seL me and reTc^U, ^' ""Corm'/^^^J^^^^-^^done; :rJ^ ^^^"e exclaim'd, with uplift eye ^^^"^ of awkward penitent." ' O bravo, Doctor ! Owhatavvit' M. ^V^'^^^pfrous extacy, All the best china I've in store ' ^'dlT^^ *°° ^^^ "^^^^ge it^! It would be a trifling price id willing see upon the floor ; If but my fancy would take wing. And m^l ."mi'' ^^""^ P^^*'>' '^^"^^^ But wit like yours is^never taS '^' '" ^"°^ ^ ^^^^"-' Tis ^eniu. n.'';;^'''''? '"'^^ P^'"^" °^&«W be bought • Bu? fl?e"V^^^ot "^^^^^^^^ ro J^^'i/^k^^ '-^ ^^e creator ; Hence 'twould be 'venial if from you ^ Fcoild^^"-"^ '^^™ '^ "^^• To keep for use and lively play, ^ T Jnnn 1 ^^'^^'^ "^ ^^^^^ ^^ two, That quiet spirit call'd self bve So anuhTh' '''°'l"' ^^^^^ ^^y-" Began a httle place to find ' WiThin^h. n T'^ ^'"^'^ ^° ^"^ve, And, If )t did not turn them out, WaTp one ^o ?.^T' T^'""- ^^^"^ While the warm sense :f?oS:s pdde'^'' """^ ^^"'^^ ' Inclin'd him to the flatt'rine- side Of what the smiling widow spoke wk .i, • ^ He nL a sofa's' corner grac^''''' " '"^"^^' ^^ ^" i^ke. On the same seat the Dame was plac'd Though to some distance she retiV'd ' AS chaste, decorous form requir'd In gilded frame there hung between From Titian's hand => fow>^*^ _. "' Where young Adonis did appear S While 'neath tKuk'^f^Tbehln^^ Pointed spear, The lady cast her eyes abtl^^^'t i^'^^^:^::ySf::^ 294 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Then to her side a look she threw, Where she had Syntax in her view : But It was rathei- to explore The heads of Syntax and the boar, Ofingring time fill'd up the measure, \\n ' u ■ supper waited Madam's pleasure, Which was in tasteful orrlpr ^pt t ,. • . Beneath an overshadowing vine * a*^"i ai pia>, A 1 , Around the elm whose branches twine. One dish a single pigeon grac'd, A * . t- t'other side three larks were plac'd • A tart, aboijt two inches square, Cut out and fashion'd like a star Potatoes two, most nicely i oasted, ' A A ' .^ ■. Produce which her garden boasted, wImJ^^i ''''"^fj • ^^ ^r ^° P'^^^*^' A milk-white Lilliputian cheese WciealUrrang'dm order due. And look'd so prett^y to the vfe .' 1 he Doctor, who so long had fasted, T> -J 1 Nor since 'twas noon a morsel tasted, Besides he had kick'd down his tea, Beheld'this festive symmetry Deck'd out in all the simple cost ^ ^ / hat Wedgwood's pottery could boast. In hungry fury, almost able With the scant meal to eat the table • Nay, while the puny bits she carv'd, Poor Syntax fear'd he should be starv'd. The wine was call'd, the summons cheer'd " His spirits till the wine appear'd. Two mmniken decanters shone Like twenty prisms form'd into one • Nay, with such lustre did they shine, A J • ^y^ ^°"^^ scarce dis jrn the wine, And quite perplex'd his eager sight, To know if it were red or white. 1 lie Hostess fill'd her ready glass, T. 1 ij 1 ^"^ ^^^ ^^^^ h^^^th to Syntax pass : It held what might just wet her lip But was not large enough to sip. 1 hen, with Boti Sotr / her guest was greeted, And he the sleepy toast repeated : But the cheering hopes were o'er The gay decanters held no more 1 m tird with our sheep-shearing feast," She said, " and long for balmy rest. ^lT^^L^5lI?'}j}^ ^^^"^^ "^y dress, As^IVe ju^t been a shepherdess, iO tiie eiiipluymcnt of the day : xx^nv^c, ou, you wui excuse m And therefore suited mv arrav To morrow I'll put on my best She oi^er'd then her honour of my honour'd guest, chamber light. Wish'd calm repose and bade good'night /A^ SEARCH OF A WIFE. 295 The Doctor follow'd in high dudgeon, At having been so tame a eud^reon • Hungo-and sore with discontent He growi'd and muttei-'d as he went A i ^tarvmg jokes, I'll make her sick, ' And faith Til play her trick for trick, Md" y"";Z;es an^^o^ io Zt' 17'" -'"™ "er fun for fun : Nn,- A^^w ^ A ^''^'^•^. *° P^^S"e his Reverence so : Nor did his kmd enquir.es fail Of hearing the droll, starving tale. u ^ ^^ f^l^^^'i ^^e in his way replied, " I'or I, Sir, tliought I should have died, Nof cn.i V-/'?'''^' """"^ .^'''^''^' °^ b-'^^^'d and fried : i3ut iu^t nerm M.'p ^'"1"' ^'''"^7' ^^ "^'^^"^"^''^ ^^'"^^ overflowing plenty For safe within your great-coat pocket, • ^ ' A a -D ^ .^ ^^ ^"y *wo pound rocket, A fine Bologna is well-stow'd By iay of prog upon the road • And many a biscuit too pack'd up, *^ " ^ ' "^ '^"^<^' > Vnr .in T ♦!,• ^ ^l^'^'l >'°"*' ^cvVencc now may sup, 'h" 'slid' Ld f '"!. 1 ^° ^'^^ '^ "^^ °f ^---n.- ale." Jrtc said, and soon the ale appeard, "^ Anrl fn .rs 1 . '\^^^ ^^'^ Doctor's Spirits cheer'd, And to complete his well-laid plot, A nice clean pipe he al=o ^ot • Nay more, some high-dried weed he brouJlit, ^ ' T? . <.^^...rr ■ '''^'^^ P'P^s are good for nought T. . sausage gave its poignant slice. The biscui? too was verv nice • He gave a whiff, the ale he quaff'd, ^ ""^ ' And at the Widow's banquet laugh'd : The feast, which mov'd his humble pride. Now shook with mirth his aching side. itius with these means of consolation, c„. . J- ., f "^^ °^ thought that brincrs vexation Thou welcome tube, to whom belongs ^""''m^'Y • ?K ""l^-i*^^ ""'"'^ ^°^'get her wrongs. Thou bid'st my keen resentment cease Tu ^17- J ,^ y^^^d ^" harmony and peace ' If she must have them-end in SmoJte I" A ^ i?"^^^ ^^ ^^^^ 't^^as time to rest, ,,r, . . ^nd Morpheus claim'd him nc; hU cr,Lct S=?n'rerr^oor.?s''d?s& "-^"'^''a/heVromise of the day, His eyes, now joyous wanl'd'c^'c'r'' The c^omns''."oTthe'nfl''l'V"'''- ' he tea ,„ fragrant fumes ascends, T^ S;e? V'ffee fan ^dV 2o6 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX While many a smoking cake appears In butter sous'd o'er head and ears ; Boil d eggs, slic'd beef and dainty chicken wu-i ^, ^"^i.^^ l?»m to more solid picking, ^,^ cf^nfrif °^ "^"^'"'^fl' ?''^' ^^^^ sweetness to the morn's repast But Syntax here was all alone, For Madam did not rise till noon So hat there were no forms to tease him, ' M ?-^/u°"^f ^""Y^ vvhate'er might please him ; . ^^lor did he the free choice refuse, He pleas'd his taste, he read the news. Then scarch'd the well-rang'd shelves, to find A classic breakfast for his mind. He now took Ovid and Lucretius To con o'er what those poets teach n. That If he should be left alone With this same Sam Or^kron He might th' important question move, Of the Phibs^Ty of Love .' And find, at least, how all things stood • ' If with success she might be woo'd. Or, as he thought if he should be A play-game to her vanity • Though, if her fancy should not chuse him, ^ ' Her fine vagaries might amuse him, At all events, he was prepar'd To take what fortune should award The Dame, howe'er, he did not see nil the house-clock had sounded three. ohe now appear'd in all the pride Of figure and of ton beside : Her form was fine, for plastic Nature c\f ,\ u • , ^^^^'^ with pleasure on her stature. Of those bright, heav'nly rivals three, Who call'd on Paris to decree The envied apple, form'd of gold. The Dame seem'd cast in Juno's mould, To whom 'tis by the poets given To wear the breeches e'en in Heaven • And Madam, as her neighbours sincr ' n J /■ „ ^•^"^d <^o on earth the self-same thfng. Grand, full of animated grace. The chasten'd smile play'd on her face And hough old Time, that scurvy fellow. ' Had brought her to be more than mellow : Yet taste and art contriv'd to shade TK«r» . The inroads which his hand had made. The Doctor view'd her to and fro ; And eyed her form from top to toe Transfix'd he stood by wild surprize ^ ' Told by his tongue and by his eyes And stammer'd, for he scarce could speak, A line m Latin, then in Greek ; Nay told her that she rivall'd Eve, Who did from Milton's strains receive That praise which dwells on every tongue And has by many a Muse been sung. ' The thought with flatt'rinp- hHlIianr^^ ei,««« And more than pleas'd Ma'am Omicroir"''* 1^ or though each self-prevailing thought Was with a lurking laughter fraught, r^ SEARCH OF A WIFE, ' jg- Yet her heart aim'd not at concealing Who from t P^^s"''^ at the Doctor's fedinff • WHO, from his hps as well as eve ^""S » Her thanks with spL'uch grace were'^grven"'' '' ""'' ^'^"^^>^- That Syntax s in'd half-way to Heaven ' Nay h,s heart beat vvith such dclightr She now pro'^p!>f^Tgi'^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^r^^^' A mi/ht f :.fshine ^0^^^^^^^ ^^'^^^"^^"'^^ '^'^ Till summon'd to the eating-room. ' S^ sSn^"^' "^f "'i"'"*^"^' ^o^ he shines " baid Syntax, in these charming lines ' How svveet to wind along the cool retreat To look and gaze on Delia as ^ go • To mingle sweet discourse with kisses sweet qh. K .i'"''''^ '^y ^^^e'y scholar all I knovv •' She bow'd, and with a side-long glance * Threw the poor Doctor in a tra^n?r In which he felt strong inclination But still he felt Xfd ^o°s7ir '''''''''^\}]ffon ; ^ They ^1^^"^ slope, the^^^o fd[tX'^^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^- Or, seated neath the beechen shade ^ ' They search'd those principles of taste Which to Elysium turn the waste ■ r\ J 1 r "^''^ make the crystal water<; flAvir ThroWh f4-nt!l,°'ubberies *eV"?X''' ""'"- "e forgot! Till th.,, ^°,.' ^ ^''^'■^ '^^s said of Love, *• I do no. J^T^f ^^.and Silver scales array'd. ^ ^ 1 clo not as Narcissus HiH r\r ^ Syntax exclaini'd, wUh fond deli<.ht '^f ,"''"" '" <= ■■>"i'^ 'ale we read," My meagre self ;'a form divine °' itV-^ T ? ""= "''"">'^ bright Ah, Lady, and I fee iUrS Th. .i„P°" '","'? "'I"''' '^'•ystal shine. :^„Ttr5 '™ '^^ "^™ ''- '"""^ '"" '" ' |?et^ulJ^lSrcS,Zg-i-™• But on the TiMo intern ''" '"'A-^n"' "^ ''^y'-' Aj^udTn^a'd into^th^ri^a^r" '""'' "^ ^^-^"^ "ent, An^ A , ^7^e Ma'am ran off to hide her l'aut?htpr And send her household to await The Doctofin hie ^ • • But the mirror was so shallow There wLnofro ^' ^"PP'^g state : And without: aid_he soon v^ZlenkZillV^'r. {?i'"^_ «f -"«- > ^ut Fat his ready help applied," ^^ ^'^' "" '""^ ^''■^^" ' TK« ^- ^°°" ^^^h moisten'd part was dried m§ 1: i 298 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Thus when he had his fill of both And all wasmov'd off with the cloth, Thought Syntax, " I'm not such a fool To let a dip my courage coo) j Besides, with Heaven'': own vintage warm'd, I feel that I am doubly arm'd, And will not any longer wait. To tiy my chance and know my fate." But while he his best looks prepaid To see what fortune might award. He was address'd in gentle tone, And ask'd by Mrs. Omicron, If by his logic he could prove Where was the real seat of Love ; She begg'd that philosophic spirit, Which P'amc allow'd him to inherit. To fix and settle her opinion As to its rights and its dominion. — This was the topic which he sought And such the doctrine which he taught. " — Lucretius, now before me, says (A poet whom all lovers praise) That love is seated in the liver, That there the Boy exhausts his quiver ; While Ovid sings it is the heart In which he aims to dip his dart : For me I knov/ not how to trace it Unless 'tis where you chuse to place it." " Pooh ! pooh !" she said, " I'm grown so stupid, As to forget the laws of Cupid ; Nay, hav'ng lov'd a husband once, I am become so great a dunce, That nov, ■ think 'twould be in vain, Howe'er I strove— to love again." " Nonsense !" th' enliven'd sage replied, " Take my experience for your guide : No greater weakness than to mourn And weep beside a husband's urn : Believe me 'tis an idle whim When you've your duty done to him, Not such an useless grief to smother And do that duty to another. Still, while the form of beauty lives. And the cheeks' roseate glow survives : While sympathetic feelings warm, And hope and fear may wake alarm, It is the sober call of reason To cull the fruitage of the season, To love again, again to coo. And wed — as you and I might do." He paus'd — a willing ear he lent To hear his hope's accomplishment, But Ma'am said nought — though that's consent, He thought, if but the adage old Does a decided truth unfold ; At least he chose thus to infer And be self-love's interpreter : Though soon this charm the lady broke, And thus with serious aspect spoke. " The dream in which your fancies shine Will never be a dream of mine. No ne'er again my heart will prove The pleasures or the pains of love ; Whether 'tis in the heart or liver, I defy Cupid and his quiver, Though I may not disdain the hour Which bears me into Hymen's bower, But then it will be reason's care To lead me as a votary there ; And all that I shall look to find Will be the husband of my mind. Whether his long and pointed chin Upon the cushion of his chest. Or be he fat, or be he thin, Annpars as if it meant to rest Or if his prolongated nose Should guard his grinning mouth from blows. Whether the one or t'other eye Or both indeed should look awry, TN SEARCH OF A WIFE. ' jqq The Doctor /onder'd auTe Thini iu7k 'i.i"/T '^P^'^ ^°-^- ' So on his steady purpose bent w ^^V^'^^*' ^'^ ^ hint to him ; -He reasonjd lo?,, h^e "Sd deep, H^'re 'soff Sfil;'-^^^^^^^ He saw indeed her eyes were closed ' ^'" ''''^""P ' Though he ne'er fancied that she dos'd, But thought she took this bhndfold course To give attention greater force. Ihe tea and ratthng china's sound, Now 'woke her from her sleep profound r B t 'was again to hear him prive. What ancient bards had sung of love And what philosophers had wrote, ' He did not f^iil with warmth to quote • The subject was not of her chusing, . But still she found the sac^e amnsino- • Science and wit he did combine "nTL? • . i , With s. '^J'''' '^^'-^ ^W^-'^' tl^c evl i'^i ,r'"^'^'^ ^^^"^^ "^'"^^ ^o Se^^l^^tf ^-r^ ^t^^^ 7- palate suit. But the round trnv-^f/r'"'"'"^ P^°^ ^° ^^^^^^en, :jj^f= "« "Ch order of the night, " ' When Syntax, having wet his whistle, Which Sa^%'tZ''pLt:Z'^'' '7'" "^H' 1"'. mov'd byX iCskon'/vSr '" ''" '""^ •" -J-'^- Or whetherTh\" enhYnini^ce P^'^^j^f f--; , . The widow felt the gay ditae Had made h,s spirits too profuse, And therefore thought it ime to r„le H° '"?r f '° ''" ""= '"'crtine ;;Do|or, ou7uVtVottallc5'=o;i! t""^ '° ^'"^ "^ f-' Rnf Of bleeding hearts and Cupid's auiverc; Susan, r™ lr^,'l-3J^^kS^\r' ?fo^^{,,f,^,^'",f 1 ^, ^ The symptoms of ^our awk ard shoe » """" '<" "^" 'nstant she rose and sei.'d the light! « r'^IL'l'^fA *?Ji'd, " to say go'id night.- A^JVi,' ""?"'', "' ^"pture iie repeated, " But ere yo1."go o'le't me":,?'"?^"''"^ ^''r^' Onewarmsalufehesto e-no morl xZ^^hTi ^r^'"^^? "f your lip !» But she her open hands applied"' ToZ^L\"e'Sfon' ete?e; ^00 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Then gave his ears a wringing pull, Tvvitch'd his long nose, and rapp'd his scull, Turn'd his fine wig all o'er and o'er, And brought the hinder part before ; Blew out the light, and off she went, As if on bitter vengeance bent, busan, she said, my rev'rend spark Is left completely in the dark : bo get a light, that he may clamber With all attention to his chamber • 1 hen give him to his servant's care, That he may do no mischief there." xxyl^"" ?u y ^' ^"' scream'd to see Such an alarming effigy. When the recover'd Syntax said, " Tell me, I pray, my pretty maid With what your mistress is possest ,. That thus she treats her rev'rend guest." •^Lord Sir, believe me, 'cis no more Than she has often done before : One of my lady's lively airs, For she's gone laughing up the stairs To her own room — to say her pray'rs." "Well," he tht 1 thought, " I will refrain ci -11 "^ ^^"^^ °^ wrong, nor e'er complain : She will not I now think expose My suff'rings from her doughty blows, And as she laughs, I will not cry ; She'll keep the secret— so will I '' He now approach'd his welcome bed. But ere he laid his aching head, ^f . ""? i,'"i°r ^'r/ "^""'^y ^°"' ^^ ^^o"Jd proceed upon hil Tour But yet he did not like to go Without returning blow for blow, A n°H ^U ?/!; ' ^"^fJ '^'°>^'- , ^"* ^^^^ '" ^^"^est, half in joke And thought he could not do it better Than by an unexpected letter His was a short, disturb'd repose, "" " ... *"- -- '^''^^• Just with the sun ;— he then began, Madam, With all 7'egard that's ihie I offer these feiv hints to youj The best retiirn that I can make, And which you will in kindness take, lu)r all your laughing, quizziiig, eating, .... . , /^^^ to forget theprecio2is beating Which,stich was your correcting zeal, As^I now write I still can feel. Last night, I know, I play' d the fool, And serv'd to wake your ridicule: Your wit, your ivine, your gay pretences, Must have deprived me of my senses, Orjurely, I should n^er have done What I now blush to think ubon. Lould J suppose, when I came here. That one like tne had aught to fear? ^(ly.could I think of aught so shocking Tj n^ ^^ Mock'ry clad in azure stocking ? ^'/ f"f'.Y''f/i'' Graces too I thought to find in garter blue, That which old proverbs do maintain, Is never known to bear a stain. And, with my sable rev' rend hue, The chasten'd fancy might review A union rare ofBLA CK and BL UE. I hop'd to list beneath the banners All 7-7 ^■^//^^^l-'Fl'^!^S:^^»i"i^afi^ graceful manners, WjiT/A!'^'''''''^^f'''Hr With philosophic pleasantry, While hearts congenial might consent To join in tend^rpJ sn>fin.eut — i>uch were my hopes, nor need I tell What fortune those same hopes befel. Fine taste and elegance I own I look' d for in MA'AM OMICRO N When from a silken bed he rose. And thus the sly epistle ran : — IN SEARCH OF A U'/pj? * ^*^d they I know might suited be Tn\f..y rr ^^' The most rejin'd simplicity ^' ""' ^ had hop^d to see, JJiit lo / there enter' d in its stead They may return to laui^rk a^ai, w'n T//'^''^'' '^'"-'^'tic word With S tie's a frirht nnd M^. i Indeed, rm not so idly told ^'/f'^yp^'"-:'' courts i,s ear. Yet I ean ne'er allo^o my tongue r„ L" ■" '"'" """yon are old. Yonr beauty tlwng,, o,.i o-Jr^o'u,!n<: Is Z'e "'f"^'"/^"" ""y'-nv ^^-'-yfa'amj, n.a/;f:idand'fr:Z'r ''"—SO'4; Midst all n,yZ-!i'/:^:^^r^:!f-^^^^^^^ ^,f'/^ouldn:^:7^stri^:iZJ i{;°u?'V"'? ""'' ^P'^"'' and "Ct like men Wh,ch they ' ^^^^'^^ ^^^^^ do Or to the right or left would pas xi sn ;th . /'' P^'""« ^^'^''^ ^^ J'-'^y. The sun grew hot and Pimch wa 'dry A rioD L ' ^"^^ ""^ ^'^'^^ ^o-ards the clear streS^s ^fy S? bem "'' ^""""^^^ ^^^ Snuffd the cool air, and in he w/nt ' When after having drank his fill ' His feet were cool'd, and he stood still • When, feeling neither whip nor s ur ' l^at did the self-same footsteps trace. And his horse sought the sclf-sanie niace Thus, side by side, the cattle stood, ^ '' While fast a^re^plKe ^s '" ""^i^'t '°°^ ( And how long on the river's hn'Tl?' ^""Tl ^^'''"' ^"^ there was Pat It is noc wort^ the vvlX to guLj^Tw"^;^^^ 0?'' '^"^ ?J«>'^ ^^^''^ "'pi .Her .J^^^^^^^SB^ ^^^^^^^^^ ^1^5^^^ ^rce a hollow .ettle With the sudden noise they^sta ted And frlT'- ''" "^'^ ^'^ '^^^^ -«1 e The Doctor thj;ught a ih^o^t'w'rfir'ed"""'^^^^^^^^" P-^^^^ The Tinker safd-Vn:^"' T'^^'^^'- ^^ enquired? I traveltlftre counTrTrrnd"°^ '^rfiil ^rT^"^^' ^^^ ^ir, is here • I am a traJ'li^nglk'ri Jg s'tfan|c?°^"' ^'^"!-^ ^^^^^ -»^-"d.' . Who thoUfrhf ^,V *K„. 5 ^"'*''b<-i, _ for had you Twould have be ^^tSB^-^^^. en Inhniif oil \^ ""■ sii vain. f made IhT^"^ "°/ '''''^ '^ ^halce yo J i made the noise I rfiri f^ 1 -^,7 _In the mill-dam that ip get your Honour out is hf^Jnur again noise I did to wake you. I» f^mmm 3W r//£ TOU/i or DOC TO/! SWWTAX " 1 thank you, friend," the Doctor said, " Kindness hke yours should be repaid ; It is a debt, I freely own, So, Patrick, give him half-a-crown." Poor Tink'ring Tom was quite delighted, Who look'd not to be thus requited. For all he did, and all he spoke. Was in the way of saucy joke : But so it was, and off he went Singing his way, with loud content ;— While his brass kettles told the tale, As they resounded through the vale. " How long," says Pat, *' we might have stay'd In the quick waters' running shade. And why my brown horse and your mare (Jhose to take a position there. Now I'm awaken'd, makes me stare : For howsoe'er we slept or doz'd An' please you, Sir, our eyes were clos'd." " Pat," said the Doctor, " you're a fool ; The morn was hot, the river cool, The beasts were early out and dry, And drowsy too, like you and I, For 1 throughout the night before, Had not slept out a second hour : • — Put let us on our journey haste, The breakfast-time advances fast. And I've within a certain power Nor must you, Pat, forget to rig Renew its curls, and thus .restore Its air Canonic was beset That telis it me besides the hour. In its first honours, my last wig, Its form to what it was before ; By that vain, whimsical Coquette, To whom I owe resentment yet ; Though, as a Christian, it were better To forgive her and forget her." Thus as he reason'd to and fro. Not yet determin'd what to do. He rcach'd a pretty town, whose name Does not possess historic fame, But boasts an inn which Syntax blest For morning meal and welcome rest. The wig, with all due skill, rcpair'd, The chin dismantled of its beard, His whole exterior made as smart As could be done by Patrick's art, He set off, with design to call, Ere the sun set, at Tulip-Hail, And on the way his mind supply With gen'ral terms of Botany ; Call on his mem'ry to review Whate'er he once of Flora knew ; Then add sweet, sentimental bloom, A type of offerings yet to come, And with such fragrant hope prepare A welcome from the flowery Fair. Thus as he thought a voice behind. Which seem'd to load the passing wind, Exclaim'd— '* What, Doctor, is it you ? My eyes, I thank them, tell me true : And pray accept my solemn greeting, At such an unexpected meeting." Syntax replied, " The same receive, Which I to Doctor Julep give." — It turn'd out that their journey lay, For" sev'ral miles, the self-same way, When the Physician thus began To tell his visit and its plan. " Capias, the Lawyer, whom you know Left business some few years ago : In short he now has given up thinking Of nought but eating and of drinking. Nay 01 For nu 1 )cas( And to But soc When 1 For I a Forgot In stucc And wh There tl Wli ' • tl There of VVherev( 0, how j Nay, 'tvvi Social \o\ Nor can \ I'll theref You must And of th( AV '''* ^" ^^»^i'"» And where to vary his rec ilc Thl *"' K^'-^^s with all his wines For to'hb celfer he des^cend^^ ''''' *"'*^ ^^^ ^--^""i^' '-^^'-^ .' There the et'n^oWnV!^;^^"^ '^ ^^;^^\^'^ ^"P"^^ ' Wl. ' • the tale, the j ke ti e sone ^Z\?' '^ ^T'' ^' '^^Y P'-^^s. Thereof his V ntag he ■profuse' aJ^' Jljcciuinahan feast prolong Wherever ho might chanccCinc' (l^ h rr.'/^^'^"^" ^^^'•'^ ^« ^h"4 0, how I wish >.>u woS a ta d ' ^.^I'^^she would take his wine To U clear^s^::^l;ve not a^il^^^;/'^ "^^ ^^^^^ ^^^ : S^nVy." r.^"'' ^"-t"^^ 'Jc in danger ! * He 11 kmdly put you at your case, Nay, Hwm arsV^'c;!.Zl\ti;;f "^'^^^a A'^^'^^V ^ " Yoi know I'm no't so very le-"'' '''' ''''''^' ^^»'^^>''' Said Syntax "to pronounce it vice' When friends in mod'rate glasses join. And cheer their heart with Vn'rous w hp . Social love appears the best \vi "^ ', Nor can it wound a UD's pride Wl? '''p '^ ^' ll^^ ^'"'^"^'y ^'^'U rn therefore join this p^easam frolic BVfn)' '"" ^•^^- "^^ '^^ ^i^^^' You must, my learned fSnLro. t ' '^^V''"'^ -^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^holic, /This by'J;^It?o^;.aiy.^.^^;V^^^ P'^'" '''''^^^ ^ ^-" Well-pleas'd they on their way proceed. Capias with smiles his guest receives, And a loud, hearty welcome gi^■es ; Nor did he cease repeated greeting Till dinner came-and then to eating. Not a word pass'd but when he boastc?d And of the ^sheTafu^ry c^e" '''^1^^!^ ' • n The di^e^^JeV^iThVn^kVtf H^^^^^^^^^ ^"^ -'-• runx> u °\- "^^ various bounties given The Bacchanalian su te attend InTf^ fu 1, , In the vaulted cave benighted Tin 1 ^° ^^^ f ^"^^ ^^^Y descend, The colour'd blaze drspfi^l'tt glooTi" '" ^"^f-^^Vf "^""^ ''^''''^' -Syntax on all around him "^7'^ tL. / ^^^ subterranean room. Bottles on bottles seem'd to rise ' '"°' i ^'" ',^ V^^" "^^ '-^"^'^^'^ 5 And casks of large and lesser shape? ^'^ '^""' °'^'^'^^ ^'^^' «r„„ .,. ^'^^^ ^yith thejuice of ev'rv erane 1 mdulge the impulse of his mind ; flO If I ,^r i;; m' 3o6 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But this was not a time for thinking 'Mid such a fearful threat of drinking. He now took the appointed scat, Suspicious of the liquid treat Rcsolv'd to keep his reason clear ' And watch what might be doing there. — Capias exclaim'd, "This is the toast, Which in this place must rule the roast, And my good friends, I'm sure, will see Its claim to fair priority ; I give the Law,— to that are owing The means to set these cui rents flowing :" He loudly then pronounced the word. And straight the ruby bumper pour'd. The Doctors both the reason saw Of his just preference to Law, —Capias again fill'd up his glass. " The second toast that I shall pass jfiilcp with pleasure will receive, 'Tis one that he himself would eive • Here's PHYSIC— call'd the eye of science, ' Life's firmest friend and best reliance : Without it boldly I declare I should not now be sitting here Thanks to the learned Doctor there. ' You both, I think, forebode the next, Or as a toast, or as a text ; Though last, the highest in degree. So now I give DIVINITY." The flowing wine here found a pause ; Capias talk'd loudly on the laws ; Wh-n Julep, without vain pretence, But with a ready eloquence, Display'd his scientific knowledge. As a learn'd member of the College; While Syntax thought it best would suit His priestly office to be mute.' Nor did the Lawyer now appear To wish the Doctor's thoughts to hear, For then he happen'd to be ''inking 'Twas time to take again to rinking, " To what we've drunk, we all agree, And now," he said, " I'll give all three, LAW, PHYSIC and DIVINITY ! —All toasting hence, my friends, will cease, And each may do as he shall please." Syntax who sat serenely by. Kept on his glass a wary eye, While the physician and his host Grew rivals as to drinking most ; When the good-humour of the day Seem'd to be melting fast away. " Let me," said Julep, " recommend, Good Capias, as your real friend. From this wild drinking to refrain, Nor let me counsel you in vain. From that vast paunch what ills betide you. As big as any cask beside you ! ; For, if you thus go drinking on, I e'en must tap that Human Ton:' — " Tap me 1 I then shall ne'er recover : No," Capias said, " 'twill soon be over : i Life's stream will quickly run to waste, For what's tapp'd here can never last : j v..-.pv,!i'_tt^-i_ i iiivist U1T11, jjcii^- ui v-usii, ivvui soon DC gone. But hark, you ignoramus elf, Feel your own paunch and — tap yourself 1 AV SEARCH OF A WIFE. 307 SOOji PC gunCi And now I'll ask the grave Divine Which IS the biggest, yours or mine !" And as ^^^y-^,''^^^:'^!^''' Jiut 'twpulcl be painful to rehearse §*?" °n" ?' ";"^' •''" l^""--. •' When the terrible law '"' l,,^, Sri^;! ^alv" =' ''"'• Tohl'bu^=^eaU,^i.S^S^;:e"f^""--'- rou know, ^"cSe ,Sfs' ^r' ^'ve you g„i„eas. "-You Docto s ne'e^^f' ^"v^b'aS^er'l^rj^"" " ^°- For whether yl° St'^i^u^" °'"S=r L°"c,'"^"?'' ^ . 'T,v %.! ' '-'''^ ^'^ church-yard immurp uq TK .1, 7^^ }^^^ same— you all pocket our fees i" "^"^^ "^' Then the. .e,:T:^:^^£^--^^^^' ;";^"^ "'- M 1. hog-trough with the gruntin^ herd • He^h^ot^ViltTtl^fo'let^^^ '^■•'V"'^='°~ When at he tum'd Ws heavj head ^^£.711^^ "' '"' ^''°^^ ' To bSI S'11 gf e'atql t ^ "•"'' ^"''°" '""= = And thus address'd her-" If 'you please, " M c"? >;,°";' tempting toasted cheese," Br^n''d h^™ '"i"'''' • " '"''•'='' "^""^f picking And something's here with nlme^ndvi'; ^ ^"'^'"^ '°"^' = ^!* °"^ '^ook christens it a Devil." ' — A Devil, in any shape, sweet maid A Parson fears not," Syntax said ; 1 11 make him minc'd-meat, 'tis my trade. But while your sav'ry bits I'm enting Tell me what means this vaulted meeting? Whence comes the whim and what's the ca"- liiat moves tins agent of the laws To play a part that seems high treason -against the sov'reign law of reason ?" 20 — 2 3o8 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX " Through summer months, it is his rule," Rebecca said, "because 'tis cool. — For the first hour of their descent Tis all kind words and compliment But sure as my stool is a barrel, * They first dispute, and then they quarrel. Then sleep and wake and snort and snore 'Till they, dear souls, can drink no more. —It IS my office to appear With this superfluous supper here • For, when before them I have plac'd it, ' Heav'n bless the topers, they ne'er taste it j And while they sleep, I leave the cats To guard the dainties from the rats. But that self-same fat doctor there Plays a sly game, as I could swear : For though he drinks and talks and sleeps, Yet he a carefi.il measure keeps ; Jif^J^^iv^^^^*^'^^^ ^° ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^^^^ ^"<^ ^valks off steadily to bed •— While Mr. Capias, tc lis cost, Drinks 'till his ev'ry sense is lo'st When all the household, while they bless him, ' Bear him up-stairs and there undress him. He wakes at morn with aching head. And rumbling stomach over-fed, When Jtdcp seats him by the bed The pill, the purge, the powders follow : Which he, alas, is doom'd to swallow : Then for a grumbling week, forsooth. He docs not use a grinding tooth : For nought is on his table seen. But sago, broths and medicine. Indeed, whene'er his room I tread. To ope the curtains of his bed I almost fear to find him dead. ' —The Doctor having done his deed, Is by the grunting patient fee'd Takes leave and darts off, like a rocket, ' With five fresh guineas in his pocket." Said Syntax, " 'Tis a wretched sight, So let your fair hand take a light. And shew me where to rest to-nip-ht • For, without any formal warning, I will be off to-morrow morning • And leave, sweet maid, my pious prayer, ' A tribute to your gracious care. As soon as cocks begin to crow, I hope to be prepar'd to go." But though those birds their matins sung Before his wak'ning bell had rung. It had not struck the seventh hour When he was jogging on his Tour Some miles they pass'd, but not a word The Doctor or his man preferr'd. At length his Rev'rence wish'd that Pat Should let loose his amusing chat Of what he did and all he saw. While they were with the man oflaw. " — Whate'er," he said, " I look'd to see, Was just. Sir, what it oueht to be. So kindly Mrs. Becky chatter'd, And Oh, how Pat from Cork was flatter'd ! IN SEARCH OF A IFIPe. 309 US supper here ; lim by the bed. Z patient fce'd, e man of law. Of the good things I had the best ; For Mr. T^ I ' ^'''^'' ^''■' ^'"^ "ot now in jest • For when I told her I was mnrrK^ r» • "^^ ^ ^^"""^ '^ecn a widower • I could wor['r; alC^ fvelf" ""^ ^^ 7"' I think 'tis true or I mistake Thf^Mr^iP'"^'"' ^ ^«P^ *« tell. She does whatever she may oleiso AnH 1 ''^ ^""^'^ ^^'^11 her cake^ But faith nor do'erlTelhintt wi^se^^ °"^^ ^^'^'^ ^'^ ^^>': Besides whe'n'jerTeti^nsL^^t ^"^>''^1 P^^ ' 'Twas whis^Sd in my car tha le ^"? ^''-^^ '''' ^°^^'^ ^^^ ^vVy day Thus, when his guz^Iii;gTeason' 'olr She S n^'" ^°°^ ^"^""^ ^ '^^^y' But be a comely, wealthy wife Anri i "^ "^Z ^'° ^o service more Nay, had I been from mar age free I mSht'h? ' ^"^^^,"^''^n ^r life He paus'd.-Thf DoaoJ e S kinS^' '"'^'^^ ^^^^^ ^^'^ Withsmili.^C.;:;;^;^^P-';;|^P^ But when,^pleasl H;:?ei;,-my cour°se"is ;un' ^'"^^ ^^^ *° d^' And hfc's appointed work is done ' Patrick may find that Syntax knew His worth, and could reward it too " The honest fellow touch'd his hat?' My heart now thanks you, Sir, for Pat " He softly spoke, and brcath'd a s °h Andif>tweiI^'^'^^^"^S?t?S:^!^^^'^.T/ They journeyed on nor fa no "b v lIuSnuH '"'' f ^'-^^^^"^ ''-^'• And, at an anti-dinner hour ' But much as other people do ; For bower it waJ, though we ni's'^cl'^ ''^''^ '^ " ^°^^^^> Fresh hT'"^ '"^"''°"' Tulip-Hall. ^resh, balmy sweets were found to breath^. \Vh\U ■ ^Pn^ b'"shing vase or pendant vreaS \\ hilc sprmging flowers of evVy dye Fn Ji?f 7 , ,. Nor was this all, thl S^lscape" p de' ^^' ''' ^'^"'""^ ^>'^- With the gay garden's beauty vied Wide spreading groves with lawns between A fT'^^'l ^°^''^-^' •^'■''^c'd the scene ' And the glittering streamlets play'd' In eddies through the sunny glade, wk'^^ ^«f ks were scattered o'er the dale An 1 -A ^^^'^ *^" P"^es whisper in the Alo And midway, m th' etherenl hli.o -ri! "^^.S^'^'^' ^^ Appear-d with welcome [„ her face "'"' "^ ""^P'^ce TT..XUII Duc conninru with cheering voice Heas-d too thi yTu ^dW^'not'dLa"? ^t^^' We want just suc'h a man as't' To rteS^S^ ''^y™'' '-'^y = / « ^ ° Please and to instruct us too ; 3^> THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX For I expect three charming neighbours Who aid me in my floral labours : But I this counsel must impart ;— Cast a broad buckler o'er your heart • For 'tis my duty, though a stranger, To warn you of a certain dan-er Thus you will, now, your mmd prepare Our lively, social joys to sha're • While I to-morrow shall decree To Flowers and to Philosophy' But as the toilette now attends To deck me out to meet my friends* I leave you, Sir, till I am drest. To do whate'er may suit you best."' Then from her breast-knot gay she took « rr.,. .r ^ nosegay, and, with gracious look, This gift, 'she said, " I pray receive, It is the sweetest I can give " " I\ay," he replied, <' the gift I view, ^ Is sweeter, since it came from you—" And thus the young acquaintance grew. —The Doctor up the village walk'd And with the gazing peasants talk'd, When as a church rose in his view He thought there was a parson too'; So to the vicarage he hied Where at the window he espied A damsel full of joke and laughter, ^ . , Who prov'd to be the parson's daughter He with respectful look and mien, Ask'd if her father could be seen When, with qu^ck speech and sprightly eye ^^ The fair one hasten'd to reply, Fm sorry you to-day are come, As my dear father is from hon^c • I or he IS gone to take his station At the Archdeacon's visita ionT' Will you then say, my prettv dear ! Ti^at Doctor Syntax has been here, And if it is my lot to stay At Tttt tp t-Tatt o„ *.i, j in tc-morro^ should reLin, . I ho^ ^^^^^'^:^. In uie mean time, I pray, receive, -fis all, I fear, I have to - V Ihese flowe;s, in whose fonn is shown, A native beauty like your own And ma> it many a coming year, In all its presen^t glowTppeTr"" . He d.d his fragrant gift present. She revell'cl in the charming^sccnt And smil'd a grateful compliment. ^ ' ~-X matroii who was on the ^^^atch, From upper window in the thatch « I'rfi'iol^i-' P^^''' to descend, And givx the warnings of a f leid: I m sister Sir, to our Divine, Nay that Miss is a niece of mine And much I wish to hint to you What my good brother's self would do • That you must your keen thoughts prepare To guard against some hidden snare, iiy which you may become the tool Of T qrlu t„i,v. -a- i For she del ,hts, L the.expence Of ^^^ L'd'sensV To make some saucy trick prevail. And furnish out a^merrytae In which her well-fed guests combine, ^ ' And scandal-mongers love to join • As by example will appear From t'he recital vnn cT^op ^.... ' i.ast week, she had the art to move " "" '' "" ' ' """ . - ^., A neighb'ring 'Squire to offer love ; And while upon his knees he swore He lo v'd as none e'er lov'd bef ore, IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 3H :ertain danger joys to share ; to Philosophy. 3et my friends, suit you best." St I can give." dovv he espied :ould be seen, is from home, visitation."— . another day, to call again ; have to give, ke your own ; [low appear !" arming scent, in the thatch, fs of a friend, liece of mine, lelf would do; ip's ridicule : ty and sense, a merry tale, *u shall hear, lov'd before, She scream'd aloud, while 'tis as certain, Three Misses, hid behind the curtain, Did with their added clamours rouse The various guardians of the house, Who in the carpet did enfold him, And all along the flooring roll'd him ; Then squatted on him, but no further, As they might run the risque of murther. Embrown'd with dust, all hot and panting, Cursing the hour of his gallanting, How he recover'd, no one knows But round the neighbourhood there goes Or true or false, a curious story, Which I decline'to lay before vou • But wheresoe'er the 'Squire can move, ^ * He hears the tale of making love ; And all repeat the carpet brawl That shook the floors of Tulip-Halt. Now, should this strange, capricious dame Attempt on you some idle game. Let not, I beg, your patience leave you, Be calm, come here, and we'll receive you " The Doctor thus was well prepared To keep himself upon his guard And when he reach'd the hall, he found ^ ' ^ . . .. Tl^' assembled Misses ranged around. In the full ton, and rather pretty, With apt pretensions to be witty The dmner came with taste prepar'd, ^' And Syntax its rare bounties shar'd : In the dessert fresh garlands bloom. Whose odours fili'd the ambient room ; And much he thought the coming hours . , Would blossom with the world of flowers, Their classes orders, native dies. Their species and varieties. Their leaves, trunk, stem, supports and root, ' Their flow'rmg, with their seed or fruit ;— He thought they would Linnaeus quote, Ana all Miss Wakefield speak by rote.* But not a word was said of flowers, No sweets were there, they dealt in sours. For not a thought dismiss'd a sound But some known name receiv'd a wound w!If/?.i! ^T^' *^^^ "'^i'^^^ ^°"^^ '^^ ^"t sy'r^hoXs of hypocrisy While those whom merry fancy rules Were noisy and outrageouVfools ' The grave, the gay, the old and young, ** * A J e ^^^ ^"^^ malice of their tongue : And as for beauty, not a grace Was own'd to smile about the place. Tea came, nor did its cheering water ,. ,.,, ^ Check the malignant, smashing slaughter : For stfll they told of ev'ry feud That did disturb the neitrhbourhnnd r X.I-- iiusoips raie ana envys gaii Resounded m the blooming hall.' —The sage benignant uttei-'d nought But thus indulg'd the secret thought : • An elegant Introduction to the Science of Eotany, by Miss Priscilla Wakefield. 3ta THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX "Where all these fragrant flowVets blow. A. 1 .CT' ^^o^m^vood, nettles, ought to grow." The. he did not U,e X^^^^i..., Ast 'X-'dTo p^^^^^^t^- Or when the usual sum was nam'd ^ ^ '^' For which these ladies always gam'd. But, yet it seem'd as if he won, « . -"^^o^'gh when the pastime they had done. He was mform'd, and to his cost, The several mrfipc T,. i, 1 1 As they were coolly counted.o'er' By thetSiTs K'SpuJilcl^^^^^ Whate'er he fancied in their feats, ^ '^^• He could not say he thought them cheats So he put on a smiling face, And paid Sings with a grafe -The ev'ning rather calmly pJst, ^ ^^^^ When they all said, good-night, at last : And the next morn, the breakfast o'er, T, l^ i^^^ ^ pleasing prospect wore : When Ma'am proposed to show the doi-v Of her renown'd Conservatory, Where every plant and flower was found 1 hat takes a root in British ground While many a native it could boast 1.T J- 1 , J distant dime and foreign coast : And, with a ready force, dispense She urg'd him to direct an eye " It is upon the upper row, And I'll refresh it as I stand His scientific eloquence' To a fine Rose of Tartary • V^^'''h f"'' '^'"'"^ ^t here below, VVith a full wat'ring-pot in hand." Careful and step by step he mov'd, ^ But jult asX^SfcL^fi? "Xi A shelf gave way, another follow'd, "^^essiui proVd, wtn^Q^"l'P scream'd, the gard'ner hallooed, While Syntax join'd the gen'ral bawling. And soon upon the ground was sprawlmjr • W hen, scatter'd round upon the green ' Pots, flowers and hat and wig were seen My head is neither pot nor flower, ' And for the flowers my brains produce. They're not for Lady Tulip's use : If with these dripping favours crown'd Have mercy, or they'll all be drown'd."' He roll d away and then uprose His moisten'd drapVy to compose • But when she saw on looking round i-ompose , r» J. 7^^ fragments scatter'd o'er 'the ground .,,. ,,,,,,,,, ,, ,,,,,,^. uispiuy a more decided fury. See," she exclauu'd, "you horrid Brum, I he matchless mischief youVe been doing 1 /A' SE^J!Cff Of A n-lFS. These plants, I icll you, cost me more Be go„1,«rild,Tbod nV'Sl^h't""^"^^"'" ''-^ -]?' the Ijcart of human crSrc" £S,^^ S'i-^1,|;Th?eT^. H^'^-^ •"." ^or his i„o,e„ce.» When It return'da hollow sound^As itbouncyZ' ';?P'="''' " "^ '' "'w. The Doctor did^t r-ft-to^ ^^ ^^'^ ^'O- -"-•' And w„h „„,v, ^.t^'f, Bu to the fury left ,he field j , -^.x. .XV,, uucb sne contrive To tr To h^sfranl""^' T"° '"^ -bmu' " r„ J f range pranks and ribald wit ?» Good Doctor Syntax, have you been The Vicar saW " '^T,'" ^''''' ^'^nge scene," ^ viLcirsaid, id ask to prove Hnwnii fU ' ■ Your experience sure can tell Who know n ''""'l^"' P^^^'^»s move ? That, where the pou^Tof taTth alTounV'"^ ^^^"^ ^° -^" Whose base^aXTs^oKne.? '^7\ The humbling tricks Se tfcm'e ''''' ' '^"^ '^ ^^^'^^^^ Brib'd by th^e^fi:tLrn\^Ja"^^^'^ t^\ . Ihate her, as she loves to deal IT ^* ^' P^^'^'eous board. Pranks that betray such want of feeling Though wealth may this wnrM'c if ^^'"^- . nettheha^U''^'L^rs?r'''''^€f"- .. Nor do I think st^f^ FroKaT '^ffiT ""'^ '' ''' She once seiz'd on ray blushing daughter' "'"' '"""S here. But Sophy dear^.^"'r.t°P» laughter, '"'^"'^^ Return'd a calm but modest "^ ;:fromhfrs?ot^"'7'^'"^'"^- liostote, Is sometimes lavish to the Door. 7 portion of : ?r's B II 314 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Hence, as her due, respect attends, Qvnfo 1- ^^l^'^^/J'^^e meet-but there it ends." Syntax h,s rev'rend host approy'd, For 'twas the spirit which he lovd. —Thus having pass'd a cheerful day, * Tow'rds ev'ning he pursued his way. As he jogg'd to his night's abode The thoughtful trav'ler lost his road ; t)!: a^ .^ f ^^yP''^ ^'^-^^'^ *° ^"°^^ The ready way he oujrht to ^o I he distant shouts of joy were heard. But not a living soufappea^J At length Pat cried, " I see them come, ^ Wear'd. c -J o ^"^^ ^^'^"' ^' ^^ ^ harvest home." Said Syntax^ « What a charm to see This show of glad simplicity • How diff rent this delightful scene ^'"jpnciiy . From those where we so late have been Whore wealth dealt out its doles of folly Enough to make one melancholy." The throng'd procession now drew near, /^f • -1 °"^ ^^^^ mingled groups appear Of jovial peasants, who employ Their voices loud, in hymns of joy 1 hen comes the lab'ring waggon's load, ^^' Dragg'd on along the winding road, Rich with the sheaves the harvest yields The closing bounty of the fields. ' ^The Farmer, joy from top to toe. With loud huzza led on the show While rustic music join'd the strain ' TK> r 0^,i^ARVEST Home, and cheer'd the plain. -Th' enhven'd Doctor thus addrest The jol y master of the feist And to your honest wish be g ven, The bounties .f indulgent Heaven '^ He then at once declar'd his name, "cdven . A J 1,, 7°^? who he was, and whence he came, And askd the farmer just to show The way which he proposed to go. * Leav^e, Sir," he said, « that thought behindf It is an awkward way to find : To-night, I pray, no further roam, But stay, and join our Harvest Home • And in the morn without delay, 1 will conduct you on your way It will to us an honour be And by my looks I ^ru^t you sJ^ .„ , I speak with humble honesty. All welcome and respect that's due. Shall, Rev'rend Sir, be paid to you: Besides, Sir, and that's worth possessing ^ Our feast will have your pious blessing ' O think not that the clam'rous noise With which the peasant tells his joys Makes him forget to whom he owes * The plenty which the year bestows." Said Syntax, " No !— It is the heart That does the grateful sense impart • Though rude the language, if the prayer Can trace it to its fountain there, IN SEARCff OF A WIFE. 3'5 Howe'er or whene'er it - given -Beneath I:^^^^^^^ -"^^ ^^ Heaven I And that I join it you will see fTZ T' ^'^^'^ ^}''^ '^'''^^<^^ i -The dance, the music and the song- .;, , example set by me." And gave a spirit to the scene, ^' AmicH ' ""^'^'^ "^'^'^^ ^'°"&' —Syntax would now liis skill disnHv A.l? P g-^'-nbols on the green And ask'd a fiddle to be sought Wc i,tt nnf '^ """'^''"'^ ^^ '^'^ ^ay In answer to his active handf When he 'SV''"' '^^'^.^'^ brought : lie joyous sh. / in rural sta e. No v -innr'^V i m ''!"'^ ^'^ ^^^^ ^^^" °"'- ^AILV Bread ! Assist ns, Gracious Po'wer,a"d we ""'"^^ ""^ '"P™™ -A choms „f i, ""■" "'y '^r^-and live to Thee <•' '^^'-^-l^^^^^^^.Ue.^^.o. word to deed. When ^^s.X^^;;i^^^V^^^^; ^.^^^ Ere a ../"-- ^^1^^^^^ ^" ""^ ^ ■c-ie a snort hourv/as o-nnp nnrl nncf -n .^^ .*=: While maSraVe^^'trk^dlsplf^^^^^^ "^^^^^ ^^^ -" '^s last, The change by hungry labour made I be bnmmmg cuds now fnnh tu^;^ L.,^, And social fun-'ailiTnlTa jS/eS^^'" The toasts ar'e given, and joWa Snl'^' ' ^^«nding smoke. Woes the gay, festive hour prolong. ^ If \ 316 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Then to the garden turf they sped ;— 1 he moon shone brightly over head And many a maid and many a swain XT , V'PP ^ »>nibly on the shaven plain : IN or was their merry-makintr done 'Tin t ,. r.^ • u » . , « But just as Ph.busy„ to^/cp")„m ^^li^:^^:|^l^^!:^ u I „• J''^ ^^•■"^^'' thus his friends address'd • ^' I give, ere we depart to rest, The health of ourkind, rev'rend truest With hearty thanks that he should come ^ ' To grace our humble Harvest Home The toast which I with pleasure give! You will, with gen'ral joy receive j Then join the heart-felt wish with me • 60 here s his health-with three times TIIRFE '" 1 he Doctor felt an honest pride ' Then wav'd his hand and thus replied :- Ihmk not because I preach on Sundays. I may not aid your joy on Mondays ! Think not I fear dread Heav'n's displeasure. Or tl... T ,,^^^''^"^^ } &"'^c youi- festive measure, ' ?Lt^^thtdr.^^^^^^^ lively song ; -Continue worthy to rccciv^ The bolti JrI "'•'^''1 *° /""«^ence. The blossoms of the fragran Sprif^ Sun^^^^^^ 1"''^^ ^,^ Sn'o ; With yellow harvest, ai^d d.S? TI -"sTckl^'i t e ^^^^^^^^^^ The Autumn, when the fruitage glows ^ ^ ' Bending to earth the laden boughs • And when the barn in Winter pours To pay your toil, its hoarded stores :' I or these your hearts and voices raise Anrl in ,,n •" "" ^'^^'''' ^"^ ^''^teful praise ;- And, m your various stations move With virtue, harmony and love. \ our duty crown with cheerful labour ^ ""'^ And upright dealings with your neighbour. What conscience tells must not be done, That IS the deed which you must shun : What conscience tells that you should do. A J .• r'^' '^ ^"^ ^^'^y yo" ^i^wst pursue : And acting thus, you will noqsp«« tk^ ^ . W,th patie"„ce bea\ the il^F?^., 0„\tr,^.;;r.:KL:fe SsmS And peace will bless your latter end." ' Thus did the sage his counsels close. Then sought his pillow's calm repose. AX7U Muse may have forgot the hour When Mornhpiic irJ^lrla^ ..„ 1-: . r . . "^' '' ^'-'^^ "H ins power. ntax from his slumbers broke. As if 'tw^r^ cJjri i i. .•e.y 'tis enough to say, hftiZlTs^^^^ll^lXy I And And '^ SEARCH OF A WIFE. When, in their full and lively flow H -mu ^^ 'PI 1 , '-"^''•^''^st make On new h-ibvi i^ r « ^ ill gen ral use becorac Tn riii -r. '^' But Syntax said he .nus be S'e An,l i^'m" ' ";™"'d ^e holiday • To Crotchet J ,,!.,, t|,e neare^s", Lv A S ,.if '^^'™"':,'" "<= ^h"'™ TI.C place wl,ere Mfadaml^ , ' esik"' "'i" .'»""d^ "i3 mind .|fi'a\«jr„ t o'^t Wh.r ''^^^"■^ You vill oblige' me to explain"' "'"" ' P"^''a"ce may see : As ladies who th^sliveton'"""' '1'^^ ^'''■"■^^'•''^ ''^•->in, ■ Nor can yoj S'^^ 'idT *™'""°"'''>™ T"'" '"""' B- whil/°,;'et;mVrt' ,drioubt%1/° r S^ ^ fhe mistress of the mans.on said " Whl Th '" ""^ "'""«■• <>"'i She's music-ma,., the eoumr/L^ow's"i?' ""'' ^'°" ^''''^'^ Whereisatadtrei:st^'>-^--''-^'\ And mnro .!,..,._,., . To play upon a violin ? Anri " "^»-i/ c/er seen An,1 "T.'.'i-l" ''••'.'f h" time is spent In scraphl^oPf.L?™ " ^'°^'" ' US civrno-vi ci , P,^ °" ^hat instrument • mi.:;\n^dVe!rj;i? ^^^'^'^-''-''-A' i„,i 1 " "'"■ "c tim And we have heard, when thus en.rn„vi c. , - , - Sometuies she smil^i^^nVtherJn?';: ''' l?>nown to"^:'ear-S; Sfa"s''si:K'' "^ ^'^^ Tiie old girl strums a monstrous fiddle, 3»8 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Of such a size, our Clerk can prove, That asks a strong man's strength to move i He as a workman did attend it. And once was call'd in haste to mend it : He days its belly would contain More than will fill a sack with grain -Nor IS this all, no not by half, And oft her whimsies make me lauji When any of the straggling poor, Relief to ask approach her doSr bhe does not question their distress, ' Or how their wants she may redress, 13ut for an mstant song will call, And if they sing, whatc'cr they squalL They're ushcr'd to the servants'-hall, And 'mid the men and maids and boys, She laughs and listens to thei-- noise ; And those who chaunt a pleasant ballad, Will to their roast meat get a sallad : But if they cannot sing or play, They penniless are sent away Such are her whims, and many more The country rumours have in store iJut when her music quits its tether, cu .X. ,.,^^^'^^ sometimes haps for days together, She then like other folks is seen In quiet chat with easy mien. While thus postpon'd her music's labours She hospitably treats her neighbours ; And then, perhaps, as you may see. Madam is no more mad than me" The Doctor thus the matron heard And felt her story had prepar'd His fancy to play off its art, Not with a vie.v to gJard his heart For he no reason had to fe^r That Crotchet's feniale chantS Would e'er excite one idle wish To dip in matrimonial dish!: He thought, with widows I have fail'd. And now a maid must be assail'd : I httle from the scheme expect. But still I'll not the chance neglect ; I'or this world's plans so strangely vary, That oft our fairest hopes miscarry, While sometimes those designs succeed When dark despair beclouds the deed. How oft when storms disturb the morn, The sun's bright rays the noon adorn ; Nay, when the day has boistVous been, The evening's gay with smile serene. Thus without much of hope or fear, iTTu-i T "^^ Crotchet-Lodge my course I steer. While I a cautious mind prepare For all that may befal me there • Ready to meet ^vlth steady eye, Whether the fair one mTy uppl/ Her Discord or her Ha rmony : J ivi E'en though she's govern'd by the moon, Shell beat in time and scold in tune. —And now, good friends, my thanks receive i I wish that I had more to give ! But still my grateful thoughts are bent ^ On more than bare acknowledgment. Permit mf» fhnn tn cur om;^. --rK-i _ *, . _ Nay, what I mean, full well you know, Wlicn, honest Tom, I teU you so \ tN SEARCH OF A WIFE, 3^9 Ami while Itakc you by the hand £Sr .-ton tv™T.;" ^'-Siiw^^^^ ■,-« — ; Of birds, who in their nntinc ro^c Tl . 'h' "f '"="'' "'<•■ ""•■'"'ly While fountains with their tinkling fa k rifp,*^ ' .u •, . file doors no noisy knocl-^ '^ '-ead'Xon I'^t ('^^ ''' '-^ ^^>'"- '-P-'^ And did enchantment soft supply, rV ;,, ,.. • , . Tho^>^'^S"' P'^-'^ through many^a'dS; "''^ "'"^^^^^^^>'- The httle Negro walk'd before. ' And m his way, he play'd a tunc, Wl,«e^ M- " t"^y ^''^<^l rcach'd a gay saloon ^^^^^^^^ A^riou kind of serenade, Nay, Music aflZuKl inspires •- " ""•'''™'"--'» ^''""«^^.' Whils .,f "'^.™''); chairs are deck'd with'lvres As to play tunes and ring a chime. 1 he organ too, whose sound obeys Or fT,^* ,1 ""?^'^'^ ^''*"^ that sweeps the kevs '^^' "».', -h- -c, «..,« ut sounds from power invisible. -I hus the Doctor's ears and eyes Were quite suspended with surprise • In short, all that he saw amnn.f i ',.?. * ^c. V u to delight and to confound him He thought, ,f e'er beneath that roof 1 lie harmonious virtues stood aloof, 320 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Nay he was sure if Discord e'er Should make a moment's entrance there, The witch would vanish in despair. Thus as his wav'ring mind compared What he now saw with what he'd heard, His faith began to be at strife With the tale told by Trumati's wife • Nay other items did conspire To set the old woman down a liar! When, as he thus pursued his thought, With grace and as a lady ought Miss Crotchet enter'd, brisk and gay, Apologis'd for her delay With pleasing smile possess'd a chair, And welcom'd Doctor Syntax there ; Then did a slight discourse pursue As other well-bred ladies do • The weather and the road he came, * What news was on the wings of fame, And if his neighb'ring Lakes had reason To hope an overflowing season. Thus she a sprightly turn display'd, But not a word of music said • The Doctor, therefore, thought that he Must enter upon harmony* And what he saw and heard supplied A theme to please a lady's pride Please her it did, for off she ran With the same thought— and thus began. You, Doctor, as I understand. Are fit to lead an opera band • And, therefore, you may scarce incline * To add to such a crash as mine : But if your powers will condescend To treat me as a common friend You shall, Sn-, in the evening try My little school of harmony' It IS not oft 'mong ladies seen. But I play on the violin! To touch the harp and the piano In what each farmei-'s daughter can do ; And therefore 'tis I wish to move With those who by their science prove An honour to the art I love Hence my fond mmd is solely bent To chuse this arduous instrument' I have a forei,,ni person here, Who at our dinner will appear A widow of the music tribe. Whom I with handsome sal'ry bribe 1 live with me in friendly guise. As mistress of my harmonies : She plays the bass, blows the bassoon, And keeps the instruments in tune ; Teaches the parish boys to sing Psalms, anthems, and God save the King." Thus as she spoke a bugle's blast Summon'd them to the houi-'s repast. When she propos'd the famous glee Of the NoN NuBIS DOMINE, In which the ladies' parts were sung Without or time, or tune, or tongue, And Syntax felt, with all his care. He should not pass his evening there ; That they would never keep in tune Through the apnroachinir afternoon • For Music, with" this mighty show, Was the last thing they seem'd to know. That s Or the Thus s Then s Thus fi If great Miss was " If Musi( Syntax e.N And 'twas But, in ret While, wit) MS£AJ!C//OFA lyiFE. 3JI That sing-sJ^g fe',c?coSi'f ^ f'"'™ P^<=™"'d- Or .he sa°n-.e w'i.fmr/co 5 •mp^i',^ ^"^^"^ 'he skill of cookc., Thus songs in sav'ry wrappers shone n ° "','' "»fc"ionery art' J™-? ,f --r«/cSd o'er w .™ '?er '''' ^^'™''"-' Then sweets if e^^"S?„fcql7" '"™' '^l"'^-'^ ' Thus fiddles, flutes and I^Vr ps'Ste T*' '^"■"""^'■.tal orchestra : ■ When'^Tf the^""V? ■'pP-"^'« l.o°u'r'™°"'== "■'•' ^"•'^••-- w ' n ^^^ ^'-'I'-den's gaiidv bower S.Sn'd to? "^' clintbing plant's o'erlaid These vot'rip« if ^ ^°'™ "^ scented shade, votr^^of s „^ -ake Apo„„, h'sfnin, ear. The Doctor fonoWdKV; ouSe °" '""'• Hlnlc tl,e old dame with slower race Came rumbh'ng after on the bass*^ ' If groat Coreili fro ""KeTleaT C™W f,T'"''°-- And just .hcVfet,■"" ''^™ "Either eyes nor oars You could as well bestride the inoon And 'twas, t^^^^ ' - - -"P '",U.nc j "' nut in ret- ^^^^^^^:^^' '^ '" ^^ ""' |5';frpM7s,-t^Ye= Which nought he uttei-'d could assuage When, to avoid the rout and roar, ^ While, witlfv^f ri,:."hS --"f l^rmpn"^ :ifcringhaffi;,-="H'e'iX°oi;'hi, man Pat to follow. 21 322 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But Pat had half an hour's stay, Before he told of his dehy « ThP l.rl, Q- H^'"^ ^'^ ^^^ ^°°^^ ^" ^'S droll way. ^^'^^ No ;z.7«/ I said, 'would call him so, ^* • JJut this arm's vengeance he should know, 1 hough as he's gone, why I must go !' Orders she gave to lock the door And pointing wildly to the floor 'Stand here,' she said ' and sing a son- ^ °'^' Tu ,j Pn'O" ^l^all stop the whole night lonff^' I bow'd and did at once let fiv a ,. • ^ , The chamber madams whisper'd— Hush ' ^ * And knew not if to laugh or blush ; While the cook dame, call'd laughing Nan, licat time upon the dripping-pan. The butler turn'd his head away, 1^^ how he looked I cannot say • While stiff the little Negro stood, ^aunoc say , Shew'd his white teeth and grinn'd aloud. --At the fourth verse off Madam flew, Tu T^ ^"^ ^^^^'^' ^^'*' ^'^^ returned to you." T?„Ti M^'i^' ?o^ could not beguile His feelings with his usual smilp Lll'^s gay'^us^^^^^^ ^3 pt<^Pite of clei^i^X; She's cousin to my friends the Hearties, And sometimes join'd their pleasant parties. 1 hree years must now have flown away. When, if I ever pass'd this way, I promis'd I would shew my face, With her kind leave, at Comet FlaceP A peasant said the road was strait, And nine miles from the turnpike-gate : But as the moon began to peep Abive the wood on yonder steen "Boras' 'i^ laT" d.e!?o.f ^^y.' , A?^.^^-/ -"^^^ neverio^ufei/w ?.^ Though for thkf.rA^ ^""'^^ Our journey must not be delay'd; 1 hat, plac'd upon a woody height Display'd full many a glimm'ring light, Which from the various windows shone And check'd the lustre of the moon. The Doctor now made knov/n his name. When soon appear'd the smiling dame. \t 1^.^**^^' ^^ar Sir, my joy can measure. At this so unexpected pleasure ; ' to the floor. '^ SEARCH OF A WIFE And 'us with singular delight r. \ ^'^ That ="" "^'^'^""'d. when Syntate^'' ''"'"<' "'■'>'g'«-'' And stead oJ^Pa^'^d'aTd' ^'^" '-"it'^ The .^^^.fillTlt^^^^l^^^r'' " '^^ "'= -'■"« -«, rp, p^ ""'^ ^ word of complin Curtsipr»„i '"Pleasant mc Passp?v1tl;Xelfcotl„'i^';c^^t„f*-^'n And Syntax dre». bis readV'h^fr "^t'Xel,-?,?^ "r'^Z g^"""' 8-"^ ^ fXV°^", "'••'^ "»''d and soon Je" eS '^' '° '"'^= '"' ^'>"<'' The comei;Sr"J>;';Sr,-'4'he des.i„/cS' " " Propos'd by way of social whiS ' To sh.r. ^ '''"'y- "'■'^"''"' i" her chat WI.0 could refuse a plels'd aS^ '? S«'" »"d '»" with him; And all aroimd there beam'd con enf The game, i„ ^enVal way, went on But stiU the'^l-a^y^^f^f-Lr ' i^'f- ^in : Fortune, at present, is unC' '""' """^ ""■'' ^e supplied. Heir -?\^'r^^^^^^^\n^ Whii '' '"'^'-'"'' •"= "-ai^'d enough, But of the cash maintahy c^nro' T'^,'" ^i'^''' tL' s^^S'"-Vt?ne^t^:r ^^^^^^ '"e whole. And to proDose to mnU 3'' •''•'^ ''^ ^ond'rous poor, Then froCCl.!^,Tvth t'm^^n^VV/^ -"'^ be derision » And left the Sage^vith siJent hps To^^^^ almost filPd her ret u . While she stalked off^^itl^^ta^S^^^^ copartnerships ;-J To wander through some distant^room -The supper came and pass'd away Ini T^"^^ "°^'& ^"d frolic gay And ^yhe^ the household clock st'ruck on. The country neighbours all were ^one ' -But ere the chamber lights ^verl bronal,^ The nn...P'^ scientific dame besought ^^^' Ail^.^octor's patiencp m K«cf„.„ ^"\.. vvaiie she inf6rm'd him bythrwav Of'.^"" '"*"" ^^^^ «" ho"^' or so, "For you must^now^she safd 'st^n'nn' ""^^^'^ «^*^^^ d^^' O'er the sun's disk th^ errant m'oof "°'"' 21—2 k 324 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Will pass, as that orb has not done For many a year long fled and gone ; And, m this state of her career, How I rejoice to sec you here As you will aid my measuring eye By your more learn'd Geometry' 1 hat done, we then may pass the day In tracing out some starry way ' And If It proves a radiant night You'll set my computations riclit • When, to conclude, I will make known * A system new and quite my own." —The Doctor's chin now touch'd his breast : She bow'd— and they both went to rest The morrow in due progress came, __. , , When Syntax by th' impatient dame Was led, not to the upf cr story Which form'd her fix'd observatory Where many an instrument appears, As quadrants, telescopes and spheres, To aid the scrutinising eye In its vast commerce with the sky • J^ut did m a balcony place The glass, where she as well could trace 1 he lunar passage o'< • the sun As could from greater height be done' — At lengiii arriv'd the pregnant noon. When o'er the sun the darken'd moon Mov'd on the grand eclipse and show'd What man to daring science ow'd. But though the mind may strive to trace The orbs that float in boundless space, Though it may pass through realms of air. Converse with planets rolling there, And by its name call ev'ry star : The body ne'er will be content Without its native nourishmen And hunger will suggest the sign Of when to breakfast, sup or dine ?h.t r.M ^7'^'°". '!^^"^? ^'"'^^ ^'^ interlocutory meai; P..;! ^.l' ''y/^^^"^"t signals sought, Pat now in eager hurry brought : But whether 'twas the slipp'ry floor. Or running do|, or banging door It may not be required to tell ; Certain 'it is the valet fell bwore a loud oath, when plate and platter And spoons and sauce-boats made a clatter ; While yelping curs, or kick'd or wounded, A • 1.^;'^''^ "^ *^^ gen'ral din confounded ; A noise which both the gazers drew From their celestial interview. 1 hey saw, by Patrick's luckless trips, , ^lie luncheon in complete eclipse, As his huge form vj^as rolhng over Each dainty dish and smoking cover. VA. hile down his skirts there seem'd to stray fresh streamlets of the milky way. "—The scene around, above, below," \%n *i • 7^^^ Doctor said, " our problems show, PatHrW L'i f ^"'^^j'^^ Po^?*-' Or the repellent rules the hour : Patiick we see could not resist, Or with his feet or with his fist : -His feet gave way, the balance lost, Tu c ^}^ paunch to right and left is tost : 1 he hngers driven from the thumb Make th^ tnrppn a ../»...««. . Maaani replied, O never mind, A fresh supply we soon shall find, ^ ^ 32j I '7//T/"jy*/«f /^r SEARcff OP A WIFE. And as when Falstaff cried pcccavl As other matters a re digested And we have now an houfto s ' re Let us each take our reas'ntagTS, Of things r,bov/a„".},t!,'g°bdow' ifdVo™" '^t ''""^ When you hav'e done:4",lm.'d°Si S^ ^™'- =>'^'''" ^ho. , Then i „.,|| venture upon mine" ' Syntax.-" When from the -arth «,. I,T, We view it hke f ^"\='.~"'^='ve of the sky, "' ''' '''^' "^ '^>'« wc view It Jike a curtain spread Thif ^\^l .1 lid ?h'"'"H "l"^ g°W-?p^ n1 or fe'"'"^ "--"S -di Ti-^^s'S^thShf^L^lt'? "^^ "' «^' •• WUh an the vaX scenes^ fHe?r"' But when we ose the sun's bright rlv Again his flim nfC« -^"I'-Vr^^ Still we behold, a^s .hey?p"pS, ''"xVe'^arl n'.^"^"'"'" ^"''^ ^^"™= = The morn may^yieii its splendid ei»^ "'""" °^'"^ y'="' wf''p1tfy1,SroS,^„«|J-'n^^^ Then,.oo.f:^te'g^S^S^'--^SSnght. In one grand course, and hi"ia?cer '"■"'" ''^"'' "> ™» B«. »hen hj^tfti^g'^o^^^Si-" ^S™^ '^"^ = The moon presents her silver ray. And V,.T'\ P""'^" his fires, Yet stii, she keeps her monthly race >^ ''"=''= ^^ f^'"'" "ay \ --Each plaj: t Us7o; ?Xre"Sf ™'"*' f«- While, with peculiar K"crPow„?d TheV?""" "' ^'='»"' "^^it steer ; From whom all nature doth inh?H, tt' . ■ Which gives to life each ai„7a"d en^™ ^"" "-'-S^Pirit ^ Where'er his een al ravs c^-tn^^ ' -Agam we^see the thoufand st'r,^;^;;,!,, ,.„ . '?i;ir Tl "'"' 'heir variousiiSht "'"" ^ '" ^'I'l^f^s. If such the ha'rmXM^^t'rTit ''^^[^'"^7: y uiau reigns, If thus the Almighty power ordains Shakespcarc->-Hcnry the Founh-scconUpart-Act I ' 326 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX 1 May not these orbs, which vour fainf pvp c:«no c m • To which, as it ma; seem is dven ^%l w ""^ '"^ ^"^ ^^^''"^^ ^ky, Whose lands spread wide, whose oceans roll Whose mountains hft their lofty head * And shape the valley's deepened bed, ' With climates that may smile or frown. To changes subject like our own ; Nay, in the space of air and skv Suns, moons and stars and earths may lie livislbl. fn T, E'en with the powers which^ hive beeS' ^""""^ '''' T,, To penetrate the paths of Heaven ^ rl^i r ?oiro';rs V^r '"^^ ^^'^ ^T^- ^° --P^ete its course, Nor speak of sun-beams which ^re fraughl^' eccentricities ; With swiftness that o.;t-travels thoudit But lost m wonder close my view Anir . -i t — Heceis'H nn^To, ' -.1- ™ listen silently to you " ne ceas d, and now with consc bus pride The scientific dame replied • ^ ' Pnil? ^^''^^^th ^:"th your system told, T« .1- "^ "^,^y ^' Doctor, be so bold 10 say, that you have said nb more TInn n-,n«,, i Though not v,ith such'eT 'pIcuouTLL""""' ^""^ '''^°''- Or the same pleasing eloquence ' —Yes, on my loaded shelves you see F^^i, i T^xt has increas'd the antho/s feme With adSedhon"' ? ^^"•°"°"5'. I have all instraments at hand That thif v^=, ?"'""' '° ""= """"= ■ Which do their wond'rous aid'supply "" "'^ ''™""''' But I new systl\'|h'al?rxp'lSe" ""' '^ 4v , f Perhaps, yo?.'j'°ry,'.tis whL""of ^ '""'^ => "'"^ ™°— Or that con«l? *s nyTrWe"'' 'To"" ""'" ?"",'' Or that by something liEdefianc^T^ i'h^''^ ,^J^^,°,"' ^'"'"'' SMe ; To be held forth I thus may str"ve A^.L^''^ '' "■"'" °f science If such your TC^il'i hote folmZt''"'^ "^"^ ="'^^'' Some reason soon to change your mind w J""?' disdainful of the fame ' Who confine 5'et XtyZc]T'''"^4f °"" ''--' Who take no flightrbut are com^t Tjstc''°n'their"Z'l ^-^ '■''"'^"«'' I wish to soar a little higher Than .h^ir, ^ ) ,""."''= '" sentiment: If this be your sagacious guess vlT' '^"^''''''■'^'"'ghts aspire; I only ask you to attend " ' m?hl^^^'^ ""'^' ^""^ ^""ess. As least, if you an error see, Yo„ ^t ? ^^"'^°"'' "f * M^d, „. _ But treat if^ith h„„, J„T„^'" "°' P»=^ « ^arsh decree,' i f»6 Doctor, not by intuition " n^i'u r ,. Was on her subject l^d to S' That fhe^tw i^f.Kl'aS oKLi;^fcSt"uro"^„,?R?r '"if '^-S"'' -•""'"' ofl-e. CO And e'en wl,^,, r,-'.'?^. P?.",'^"'^'" Reason he found a sniirr„ „f J.:'.,''' 9ft »vith^/,«-;>;^l^>;";;!^"=\ ,'° 8iv« '""s thoughts without offence when Fanc^^la^y S ckriTc"r„?n''"1 ''' 'T'' "''"'i'^l^'i But when'^^,,^;-^^Vlease to 'n" P'™^'' ""»"»" S"? --. - .w.v._y p.ajr u iieriricks He could t r "nlfS'^'-'-'TP'--'"^^^^^^^^ |3';?el'n^,i7;,l^s-Sr' When suchY'^;,1'h':r"n';;'io''tsh''^', "T'"'^'" «'e'"- He wish d the dang'rous trial over t'™f„« ''.'d he name each future Aouri.t And thus hlio;-iif:^zi'^'r '^'' Lab'/ Ccn/c'^?'^'^ ?I>^ "-^ ''^^ You .raveflPd in your airy eTr '" "'"^ "7 "«'^ ■•»""'' "'g "^ore.' And gave th^e^nXrw^^l/dr °"¥ ' Those hidden powers which he has shown T?/-,c;' '"m ""^ Geometry, Tho- view-d .y^^\^S^ which decIZ'sry,^'--^ "»^- ' Nor did lie e'er pretend to tell ^""''^ "° ^°'^^ ^^''^^ory. Thefr ?^^^^'l"}'gJ^t within them d well Their forms their natures and their speech And how thirr ^^SS^J^^yj^'l ''^^ ^^^IV"^'^^^^^^^ world of ours: And whethei'Sii!^^ r^^^plrT^^^^^ ?t^^-' And if th^ir yea^fby ]ir,„,r pow';^s' ^"" ^'^^^^^ -^« y-rs, Whether thdHi&iudrh'^' ^"u^ ^^-^^^ ^"^ J^^"'-^ = And if to f[rZlZ%%^^^^^^^^^ clie for want of breath, What do I gain, when I but see ^k '''°'^f ^ ^"^"^^ Heaven. IJnlpcc m„ ^^^ ,, -^nese planets' prrr^n^,-,v,^■.. Fnr" wi^of'' •'"'''''''■'" "-"^"^^ pervade ' ""'^J^» 1-VnT.m "^''^ P^^'P^^^ ^l^ey v^re made ? -You II augh no doubt, and say I dream If I should now unfold my scheme ' 328 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Nor docs the thought make me uneasy "'version , That some have Aincicd I was crazy --While my poor dear Sir John washVincr, Whose soul, I trust, is now in Heaven, Some booby m a ong hiatus Urg'd him to burn my AManitus - When he said, ' No .'-While she maintains ^'^P"*''^'''' i^ach due decorum, while she gains Their warm regard to whom she's known, XX71-1 T, ^"^7^0 her smiling friendship own; While I her fond affection share And feel hei' faithful, tender cire • While she to household rule attends ' ixru . ■^"'* "^^^^1 '^^"^'^ pleasant to my friends, What care I, as at early morn, I urjre the cha^o u-itV. i,«.,„j j 7 Or cheer at night each jovial ^oul VVitli the fSVss.^^^^^^^ """^ Y'"".^ If she emph ,ys her eager eve To f mm .if }^ ^^"^^^^g bowl, ■v/^^ • \.\.^ ^"&\' ^>«- JO trace the wonders of thp qI-v i Yes wives there are, and not a {(^v^. Who a mnm \^\^l ^ ' Nor is there one of those who shine Th? v^ori^Voff^Ii^^r.^^^^^^^^^^^^ TK ^-^^ ^T ^ Y'^"^^ ^ ^•" exchange for mine.' ^ -Thus did my dear lamented Knight Set the intruding fellow right • And much I hope, good Sir, that you ^ ^^ ' A J 1- T^ ^"'"'^ "^y husband's praises true • And they, I trust who knoW me well Will th. saie friendly story telL" SYNTAX.— rhey who have gravely trod the round Ofgen'ral science must have found ^ ^"""a That trifles, nay, that whims have led _ When floating in a thinking head, ' 1 o quicken genius as it tries The rnm-Qo r.r »o, r E'en accident has made a stir In bnin.of th^ chscovencs : A codling falling from a tree Mhlhrfiv h -^ Ph'losophcr. Or house^-maid's^wirling Ta mop MighMn o NE^rcfT' ''^^''''''^ '' The principle, by which was foSnd^ Wl^^Uer the odes a^efln?"'"'"" ^T And why, my Lady may not you Striket^^; 'olr'^ISyTome^^^^^^ And, what's still better, useful too ?" ^ ' Lady Macnight.-" With that benignant lib'ral spirit Which I well know that you inherit ^ ' And strive those regions to%xplo.-e" As',"ne S'eve" dotTefre' A J T ^ ^^^^ "^^ ^^^^ ^o reason's lore • ' And if strange wanderings appear, Restore me to my proper sphere Th.^r''' '"i '^T °''^^'' *° P^'°""^^' Philosophers h^v e^all aSreed That to each p anet, in its sphere. Our earth rolls on L pros pec t?^^^^^^^^ And, in great Nature's solar scheme, P^«spect clear, They're seen by us, as we by them. Nay from a„a,ogyJ,s ' -£«. Jhoug^^ not by fi^'d experience taught, r/T^ u r • "''^^ -"^uti" unknown . May bear a likeness to our own. Peopled with beings who fulfil. Like us,' the Almighty Maker's will, AV SEARCH OF A WIFE. , ,. To answer, in their destin'd station, The wise dcsi.n nf .k • And now you'll hear my^unnin^ guess '^'^ ^^''' ''■"^^'°"- With everytit't ital^^^^^^^^ {t f °^^'^' As the p iL po^'r that^^^^y contS.rThV 'f '''''' ^^^^'"-^ "ature -Whether I reason from is name ^n'^^'^^'^^^'^^P^Jseof the whoJe' t niatters not how they^efer ' T^' f^''^ •'"^^"^^s of its frame I still shall dare suppose tha Mars I, ^"'P '^' "''^^'^^ character •' Notofarm'dn.ilitary bands Whom th. r ^^?,co"tmual seat of wars •' I ut, from the beggario the kTi- ^\^'''^^^ '^^^^^y sword commands' Nay for a fortune or a rattle %h.^ H """^"'^ "'"'^ ^^ fo'" ev'ry ?hTn?.' That hourly, individual stride ^'' '^^'?,r '^ '^^ ^, constant batt"f ^ No helm or breast-plate do they weL^'" ^""'^^^^ °^^'^^- R,.f nil .K • ''','^" ^^^y sword or jav'iin bear ' But all their policy consists ^ tA In the sharp, nimble fingers' raps, Or the brnn/n^?" ^ °"''f'''"^^ ^^ ^^ts ; -They cannot get a steak to eat Unlp« m ^^'l'' ' ?''""^^"t slaps Nor can their statesmen ge^a" place"' ''"^^ ''' ^^^ --' ^ But thPn iJl '^"^^ '^''^''^ '■°"Sht it fKce to face f:^^^^:Z SgK^ "^^' ~^^^^charge of blood : A lasting pain they cannot 4l, And n'f •.^"''' '^^^ ^^^<^ive, As bound by nature to oppose,' Friends^ n'^ 1 '^"V^ P^^"^^^'' ^^^^ Fond lovers if/thei'r amyous grTein^ ^"^^^^^^"&^ ^^ blows. • ^"o^v not of kissing or entreating ^ And love can "ofrbeftefslJourrh"' 'f ^ '^^'"^ ' -Children and yomhTsL^l's^p^po^e' H^^^'f fh^^"^-^ -^ '-^ ^--. Nor gain permission to engaee Till fhov " ^ '^ P''Y'lege of blows, -O V rtue contest is the smn ce AnH ? P'?'^ '^?^>' ''^''^ ^^ W While he who does the most contest T. nf n '''''''' rectitude is force ; -Thus he, I'm ready to suppose Who n^'' '°"' °^ ^^'^s the best Is an offender 'gainst the K''"' /Vn^subie'^To'ir^""' ''^^'''' '^^^-^^ Or sentenc'd to some dfsmal pl4; '^' hangman's paws, And as we d^ou? coSs^see" '"^ '''' '^^^^'' . . They're chain'd in'some dark ceuSw ^'^'^^^'""^ '''''''y> 'Reft of the joy to strike a blow.- ' — ^o lar, so good— their power of sneech At present IS beyond my reach : ^ '^ Morals and manners form the whole And fartheryD^cftotrWcss- "^^-^^^ ^""'^ ^-e nat'ralis'd your sSe As I cn„S'''^^''''"^ necromancy ; 11 the plan I can't agree I thlnt" '?P^?' '^ ^^^^''•- r «ii I agree, 1 thank you for its drollery ; * v^i ;'uu Though 330 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SVNTAX And though I cannot well allow The nrinrinl^ „.t,;.i Your story, Shakespeare gives th J himf ' ^'^"^^' ^^^ ^^'°^^' rhough strange, has much of matter in't " Lady Macnight.— <'A few words moiv>\n,i t t, t With these attendants on the sun ' ''"'^ ^ ^^""^ ^^""^ —In the bright orb that's known to claim T 1, 11 ^^^^^ ""^ "s establish'd name, 1 snail pursue my arduous wav t« ♦!,-,• ' - That BEAUTV is the height sublime Of V^'« K^T' "'■ '^,?''^>-' VVhose light and heat, within ils zone ' ^™"" '=''""^' A- J .1 ^,"^. "° resemblance to our own : ' Among its people, as each feafure I, f.i "^f =":'',''>■ ^ settled scale And all the vaL of their dX Is fLmM '' "' ^"'""^''^ ^^ "^'"'<^ i And thus it is that I pervade ,1 1 *' 7r''? ""■. '"' °f beauty The fine f -T"^ ^ ''"™'^»"-' "- well' ttr/b of •' "^ '"°'=" ^'■■"'- feaThfs;ta;rsl^etTve^"''^^'VLn T^^^^lS--rhis^^^^^^^^^ The neck that doth the bosom fL?.' ^ "^'"'P'^' sinking in the red While the firm semi^orbs belovv ^^>;t '''''''' ?""" ^"* g'-^^-^*"! ^'"e And arms°;t^:t^^^ ,"-- -^- gentle to and fro ;' lo the fine, tapcf fingers' ends :— While ^J^^^^^'^ ^^^1 ""'''■ ^:^i!:Z^:^ -,:i- ^^::^f '^ .^ sponger rram. WhUe the vicious nature lies "^ IVoporSd hv ';"'" P"^^';"' iherefore U is that I suppose The squint ,gPej"?he„^^d; ^adT^f' The yawnmg mouth, that may appear ^ '' '"""• T1,. • • ^'re'™>nS athwart from ear to ear • ^" "- ^^ - Xci;:^%e^Ki^~^ - p— . While uglines"?n^;;Psr^°"'' ^"^'^^"^^^"U /, . And they ^J:ilA3r^ondemn'd to die "' '' " '''''''' °^^"^^ ' Whose crime's complete deformity! ^o much, dear Doctor, for my Venus ^hr. r.. ^^ , '''^''^^ ^^ y^t has pass'd between is ' —She paus'd-but when she Van to foil nr at Brought her fine fancies to a dose Ind .? h^ 15?''^' the dinner-bell But stm"? tb H P.^^'d with your invention, iiut still 1 think It might be right Nnr Uf -f ° 1*^^"" ^^^ '^^"^■^^ ^"d check its flieht Nor let It wander out of season But vielH 1 f!. fU i ^ And instead of Its commanding, LeVif!^.\'/l!!^5.L"i^_°f ^^'^^^^^ v-u;ioiiic your Own sunerior spdca Ar./-i ,^ *r " ' ' ^"'"-'•^, """crbianainy : For all is known we ^ht ^o^^'Vft^Z^^ '^£, r-"^ SEARCH OF A IVIFF. 'Till Other Boylcs and Ncwtons ris^ ' ^^ * I do not str?ctlyr n'to'.f ^^^"^^;^^ "^y^"'^- Or that your star-w^rk is mYssDen)°" r'^^ ?.?"'' ^^"^ious hours iwnv Thm.Lh^r^''"^ you must soar, ° fjrfy ™""s«I 'hat I give • Though they re in diff'rent statbns plac'd In V,^"!'™""" ""J adore.- n,o„^h ,hcir ends may Lt |fe , ," '3'i^™'"»^''"ble waste. And With sot1o'4 rare7d"rer ' '"'"V WUrd by the P^w^^-n'ose plastiJSa^d "^ •'"'™'^'^' 6"^ And whose^at unil^rTaTsa^'T"^' • He spoke, and i/due order'Sd"""''"' ''"''"s obey.' Indeed,he w^st'eTpSro'sil'" "'= ''^ And with h,^ knife an7?o\k °o Lon On ev'""? '" "■= P'-i'o^ophy • And make his choice Cen wrong7nd n"2'''* '" ^^'=«" AUength the ple^nte^o-cf^n^^er^iir""^- 7 , The sparkhng wine, he be^gy ,o giVe, A tofst he"* "^ 'l •■'' ^oWet pour 'care not in what star they move ' M7^n^°i" "'<^''' modes Lay be - -The aftemoTnfetroIi?^"^ '-// J'v.^ , , "AXc'oCa?d?a'etVr,"'"''^' ■''"-» As early on the following da' ^^ Thi?,™ ' , Yo°uV A'r >^^P"="' " I -« commend" ■""'' '"■^<=« '- "ay." . wi^h'';oSfn^1,E 1^- P°-sl & , Herd"oorwmopenbetoyo" -And now I think on't there's ann^L To whom, my friend, yo;,rusfbe"l'nown. ■% 33a THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX A female Artist, whose fair name Is rising rapidly to fame And all the paintings round the oom * Did from her earliest pencil come : Her works you will with pleasure view, Nay, you can give instruction to(.. My fond hopes wait on her success. As I was her f !i? patroness • And she my friendship will commend, * When I present her such a friend." While she these kindly passports wrote, He did the passing time devote To a small volume, whose rich page Would his delighted mindengngc. And when her scribbJing work was done. He thus his farewell thoughts made known : "—As your pen mov'd, by chance I took From otT your shelves a fav'rite book. Of S' lemri bards the boasted pride, You know him well, 'tis Akensidk — And in his high-wrought work you'll see Fancv rob'd in Philosophy, What that pow'r is and ought to be ; And m its page the Muses show What Fancy does to reason owe ' Nay, there a lesFon may be known How you, fair dame, may guide your own. —And as my grateful thanks I tell. And while I humbly say, farewell. Your gracious kindness may receive The faithful cbunsel which I give. — Like poor Sir John's advising friend, 1 would not dare to recommend That you should venture to destroy The apparatus you employ, But lock the door of that high story, Which forms your learn'd Observatory ; Against the stars at once rebel. And throw the KEY into a WELL,** CANTO IV. Syntax, in deep, and pensive mood, Tow'rds London now his way pursued : The eastern sky involv'd in cloud Did from his eye the sun-beams shroud. And not one active darting ray Gave spirit to the early day : While the mist, hangihg o'er the brow Of woody upland, sunk below Amid the smoke, rais'd on the gale. From hamlet cottage in the vale. — No lark was heard, ascending high, To give his carol to the sky ; Nor did the blackbird or the thrush Make vocal the green, dewy bush: The rooks, departing from the wood. On the high branches cawing stood. Whose noisy notes alone w^re heard. With raven's croak, ill-omen'd bird, And gloomy nature's self gave warning Of a dull, uninspiring^ morning, At least, of thoughts alive and gay, Which sometimes flow from ludiant day.' idly to fame, ? patroness ; (lind engage, IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 333 night to be ; "cason owe • recommend you employ, a well:' to the sky ; dewy bush : ngr morning, What w.is the cause doth not appear ; Whether oppressive atmosplierc, Or that the pillow had not blest The Doctor with his usual rest • Or whether It was fancy's whim, (Which seldom rul'd or troubled him ) He was not in his usual trim ; ?,° ^.*^u^ ,r^' ^^. ^*^ Pondcr'd o'er The dark side of his nuptial Tour. Had half a mind to turn again To the green shades of Souimctden And be contented with the good Which he might find in widowliuod. " Since I left home," he mutt'ring said, " What to my wish has been display'd ? The high-flown fair whom I have sought Did not awake one tender thought : Such sense mix'd up with so much folly At times would make me melancholy : — They might, perchance, an hour, a day, Contrive to pass in smiles away, ilut fortune I should ne'er forgive, If 1 with such were doom'd to live —It IS not that a woman's mind May not be of superior 'Jnd' Or that its powers may not be fraught * With views enlarg'd and depth of thought, Or that a lady's studious hours May not have treasur'd learning's stores • I know that many have been known. Who in the realms of science shone' Whose learning, judgment, critic taste, ' Have seldom been by men surpass'd, And yet who never soar'd above The line where duty bade them move And were not see?: lo i.;\'e offence ' To that prime vi tue, Co^'MON-Sense. But these are form'd for hig ie> life, And not to be a parson's wife Unless by fortune he had been A bishop, or at least a dean. Whose dames, thuf. :'\\\ig at their case. May chuse what pastime they shall please." The clouds now broke and many a ray Of sunshine darted on the day ; When, as inspiring Phoebus shone, The Doctor chang'd his grumbling tone, While a good breakfast had the merit To quicken his dejected spirit ; And now his homeward way to trace He thought would be downright disgrace ; That perseverance was a feature Which aggrandis'd our common nature : And no great act he could relate, Of ancient or of modern date But to that virtue did refer its energetic character! Thus, without further doubt or fear, He was resolv'd to persevere — Nay, as his spirits 'gan to rise, He ventur'd to soliloquise, And did his waken'd hopes express. Of what he thought he might possess. "LONDON is the general mart. The warehouse vast that does impart Whate'er the life nf man vpmiirpc t*^ rn'*"-"*'^- i'\ \t~ J ---• But mine's a se irch of tender feeling ;— Those articles 1 cannot deal in Which demand a golden treasure To furnish out luxurious pleasure. n 334 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX To gratify each active sense, Or love of proud magnificence • fhcse come not m my humble view, * They are not what my thoughts pursue : I ve but a faithful heart to offer, And a warm parson's home to proffer Where a fond pair may love and live. ' V . T , „ T^o"gh this is all I have to give, Yet I shall think it rather hard If, as my errant toil's reward I cannot find a Ma'am or Miss Somewhere in this metropolis' .^ ° :^"/^y .'"d^'g'^ ^ .^^^ret wish To dip her sop in Hymen' dTsh-' Who'd like to leave its noisy riot, But after all if I should foil, I will not my false hopes lament, Contrive to cheer my widow'd life To hvc with me in rural quiet. And all my hostile stars prevail But teach my mind to be content' Without the blessing of a wife' t.r.A 1 "i T r T -^ ;^'"^*^ *-i "i^ vviinout tne blessing- of a wifo And while I live, I ne'er again Will leave the woods of SoTmnerden " buch were the thoughts from day to day, Which bcguil'd his untroubled way, 'Till rising above llic cloud of smoke St. Paul's Dome on the prospect broke ; And, pacmg on, he enter'd town By the north side of Mary-bonne A proper nm he souglit of course, *T-ii 1 )Y^^^^V ^^^^^ ^^^^ ^o°'' festoon'd drapery. And in balconies there were seen Flowers and plants of ever-£rrccn Whfl'/ n ' ^T"^""?' blossom'd red And myrtles rose from mossf bed' While all, as far as he could see. Appeared to suit hTm to a T — He thought what trouble it would save, If here he could a lodging have; So he knock d smartly at the door And was admitted to explore The diff'rent rooms by a fiit lady, cxpiore Wiio certainly was past her heigh-day, But if time had destroy'd her figure, Her tongue retain'd its pristine vigour • 1 hus she so manag'd to succeed Bv flatter! no-rTnf fi^of i,« j No other re.-idenc? to seek, And t'ook th' ^ait\n^1^^^^^^ Snlir/nt^ '° '^ "'"^'^ ^^f""' ^^^^^ P=^i^ ^ pound-note to the^^^^^^^^^^^ Dehverd his portmanteau there. To the old lady's pron^s'd Are' Then took his leave with spirits light And promis'd to^beK at niX' Pat too rcceiv'd commands to find A liv'rv st^hlp f^ i.t ^ ' Where both the travdl'd nags and he Miglu fi'nfdul ho S;'' And bade him keep itm his pate To I e with him next morn S e LhL VELLUM 1 trust Will muc; reinirp ' To hear once more my well-known voice " He went, and as St. Paul's struck three, His appetite rejoic'd to see iN SEARCH OF A WIFE. VcUum his carious talk began" ' ^fif^-^ T'f. "> ""^ f''^^' And by his shrfwd'discourso IHcZ" "" ""^'"'^ P'^''^ What just now made him s'acli a rover —You cannot have been long in town And have .S^^^^^^^^t^ ™ «ow"n' For you, noV:u]^:,nJs'^toVZZ'"^' '" *= ^-•• Something o°boM™nd Sw Sn"" 1?™^ '"."«'"' that's work'STittTour fetSnf "^-^"-^^"-^ -'- To bring it for h^",y„ouVVtl nam ■ T„"f f" '" ""'^^ "f ">'= ^''''«' A sm le noJseem'd to^give a4om ""'■'' '"'"" '"' """»-'' And Vellum's visage beam'd content : But when he from the Doctor heard And that ne'^as'thuslod^.i'^ro^n^e'" 't '""'""Y' He thought without' a"LiIe'or%r' '"""' '" ^'"y-'^onne, " Wh^°."''' ''''■''' °"r •■>"'' ""'=* '"•" spoke. Where cr you are there must be good. But 'li. , y^!""^"'"' ""^y l^e llic neighbourhood ; But, lis a region, let me sav, Where von '■!:,• ,..:n . • , Though I do no-.'presume S.^,ea'su;;' "'" °°' "''^'^ '» "•''y' Jiither your fancy or your pleasure : iiut should you wish to quit the place, I , , .which possibly may be the case mc:2/2:^s ^'"aJTn'nlfTurf"'- "wT' '""""■^ '?'' ^'^ O"" o™ And he has left, as you may see ' Th/?-„'r^"' °^ "'? '""^ '""^ > Furiish'^ with Lfaccommodatioir "" "'" »' "•^'» '» '"^i And where you\rj!XU"~n''''^"'Af'''°" ' With a Lit L°^/ress fo Attend ™u''"'" "^ '" '^■''"""«-''«. Said Syntax! " 'InTJ^ Z', ' ^'"'""' ^^''idl^--;', . And then the subject we'll re, "v" " *"'""'"'• -"'^ nopS- trd not negSe"cg- '-'« ^ ^ ^^ ; 'Till ,!,» ^. "? ""'J'""'' °f "" kinds dissected : ' Tin the dep^arting hour «.as^come. And S,.„ta.x sought his novel horn, J[o»tS'KS'feS^ In her boudgir, and scat him there ; 336 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Smart, well-dress'd, giggling Misses three, Compos'd the old lady's company. *' These, I presume, these charming fair," He said, " are your maternal care?" " These are my chicks," the dame replied, " At once my profit and my pride. Some folks have talk'd about their beauty, But this I know, they do their duty, And e'en if scandal dare to flout 'em, I'm sure I could not do without 'em." But with his day's fatigue opprcss'd, Syntax bcgg'd leave to go to rest. " Laura," she said, I "prithee come, And light the Doctor to his room." She rose and as she squeez'd his arm He calmly smil'd, but thought no harm ; He took it in the kindest sense, And thought it frolic innocence \ Bore, from her hand the blazing light. Then bade God bless her and good night. He was next morn in full array And planning out the future day, When Pat appcar'd quite pale and wan. And thus in ruffled tones began : " I hope you will not take offence If I just tell your Reverence, This is a house of evil fame, I know its character and name : A coach is here— Be off, I pray, Nor here another minute stay ; You now, Sir, may remove in quiet. Or the old hag will breed a riot." Nay, now, froin what he saw last night. The Doctor thought that Pat was right, Who soon the trav'lling baggage bore Straight to the hackney at the door ; And then flew back to save his master From any insolent disaster : But, as the staircase he descended, He found the passage well defended. There the hag stood, all hiibbcr-bubbcr, A half-dress'd form of living blubber. *' What going. Sir, without a warning ?" " Yes," Syntax said, " and so good-morning." *' But stop Sir, pray, and hear me speak ; — You still must pay me for a week." *' One pound," says Pat, " for one night's rent. Is pay enough, so be content." But she by some outlandish name Bawl'd, " Captain come !"' — The Captain came, When he display'd a horrid grin More frightful from his hairy chin, And threaten'd loud ; but Patrick stood, In a stout, sturdy attitude. "Ah, move," he said, " and you shall feel That Paddy has a heart of steel ; Nay, Captain, he may prove to you. That he has hands of iron jO." Whether the Captain did not like The kinds of blows that Pat might strike, With mumblin-T oaths and ghastly frown, T-Io n>f»nf iir\_c. ic ac \\f^ r'nnm Hniini ■■*^* ^'v* •'£' ""• •*■■ •*' ...*. ...,.,.., Thus neither light nor heavy-hearted, But between both the Sage departed; Yet of And w] And wj —But tl He coul And by i And, wii —But n( With La Is it that ] And seem Nay, am a And hearii lis room. ' evcrencc. J^ SEARCH OF A WIPE, ... Though not o'erburden'd ivith content Tn v.i. ^^^ ^ There are, and n.^/TLve klo 7 "''' '^"'^ ^' ^^^"^' TJ|ough not to naughty habits prone Who are scarce ever heard to swe"r Vetofeheirttir^o^ir^^^^^^^^^ And when their latter l?yspreva^ ^'"""^^J^"' ^^"^'^^ rul'd the roast • Such .0,0.^^1^:^ It :l^;rer ^■S"^ ; That Mary-bo'nne, a sh ewd ^S ^nli'V^" =» 'O"" "g^''". And, with a blinking eye, let fall r, •'^'"' 'bookseller to cut a joke -But now, to cut th^e /na't!" 'ton N^e O.aZ''' '" ""^^ ^l"™"^' Rece v'd the Sage that 'very nielt"' "" "" '"" <" C°»rt With laundl-ltdV'^oten^d'^"' 4]^ ■'^^' = The trayelling slecds at livWood"' ^' *" '"'""''^ f"""!- So that Pat'r :'S'lt'"h^,';5 "^^'- -is'^'°?-d, -In thought the nioiTow was emnTov'7 ''"'^ ^ '=»">"«'"I. For he begaY^itiiil'^irs^;:!; -^ "^-?'^= While reason, i'th^^.ate^ffl ^" ""^' ^'"'""^ "«'»'. In cv-ry sha^/eThe^rs^^r "^'^ "'^.S-,, , ^^Ss\\-/rh;^xs?oSte^^^^ '•Is it that I a place have choe"*'-''''"^ '° " '""^■■<' f^" J He gravely said, " where life's viorst foes Their unpropitious gains receive Is it that I wrul^ers'sVlr:" ='""-'«';'"«,grieve ? . , , ThatTa'ntmble spid "bear''"'' ""''' ""^ ""•"'«<' -^ And seem no longer to oreservr- -ri,. .? ' . Nay, am at onceliispos^d to y dd Ae cono',^e.?""r^;K"'= ■*"'"« ""^i Thus as h'e spoke,yood fe^Zom' "f .he promised field?'' And hearinjhow he"tik'd' a„^d"'siih'3 'iV °"-'' "Believe me in tWs s.tcl'sj here'" '^'P^'^"' ""« «P«ed- Tvc passd, good Sir, full many a year • And 1 have many a Lawyer serv] ' Th'm,ih'''5'^''"" !""" or justice swerv'd J ThZ^^ t P^'^-'P"' "''"■'" "lis court mere may be some ' • eVrv sort ; ai 11 338 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But if you chose to change the air, For Portland-place or Portman-square, Of those who live in splendour there I fear that you might say the same Nor do injustice to their name. Some vile professor of the Laws Has grip'd you hard within his paws', I must suppose, and given you cause The common anger to sustain Against the Laws and Lawyers' train. Excuse me, Sir, but I must smile At whims that do our minds beguile.* I met just now, upon the stairs, A Dandy in his highest airsj Who calls the Lawyer that's above The faithful clerk of doating iovc ; And swears that by his powerful pen He proves himself the best of men.' Though, Sir, if I must speak the truth, This gallant and delighted youth Is on the lawyer's toil intent, Whose skill draws up an instrument Which, when in all due form prepar'd, Will give him his vast love's reward : O 'tis a most delicious sound Beauty, and forty thousand pound !" The Doctor smil'd nor check'd the dame. Who thus continued to exclaim ; ** Marriage I think, as well I know Is the far happiest state below ; I twice have prov'd that happy state ; Twice I have lost a faithful mate. Nor do I think it yet too late. To seek again love's soft dominion. Were John Quill-drive of my opinion." This chatter^, and of marriage too. Brought the same subject to the view Of Syntax in a better state Than he had given it thought of late : Besides, good wine and dainty fare Are sometimes known to lighten care : Nay, man is often brisk or dull As the keen stomach's void or full. The Doctor, to all meals inclin'd. Had c*^ a well-dress'd sweet-bread din'd, While a nice pie oi sav'ry meat Gave added poignance to the treat ; As the good Laundress wish'd to show, That she did kitchen ''unning know, And, therefore, had contriv'd the best To furnish out a tempting feast: While Vellum had Madeira sent Which might a Bacchanal content He ate, he drank, his spirits rose, And cheerful thoughts succeed to those Which through the hopeless morning past, Had his shrunk mind with doubts o'ercast —Again he pac'd the chamber floor, And talk'd his various projects o'er. — " E'en should they fail he knew no harm. That ought to give his mind alarm : The smiles of Fortune, if attain'd, Must be by perseverance gain'd ; Therefore, be gone, thou Coward, Fear, For Syntax still shall persevere.*' i hus as these thoughts his spirits cheer*d Vellum with smile and bow appear'd ; *♦ I come to know, Sir, if you find The situation to your mind ; Iff SEARCH OJ? A U^IFE. 33^ Fo"r';»allTe "^^^^ ' trust ... you .i„ let me know it 5 The Doctor ILPd not in expres^inr' ' '"^P""^* ' His thanks for all he was possessing. —Now Vellum had a ready nose For scenting works, in verse and prose, Which Authors, for some special reason, Might keep a secret for a season • Authors, we mean, whose favour'd name Is tnimpeted by Madam Fame. A dmner he was us'd to trv \\TU^. ^ r ^ » Of wealth and ^^n'rous deeds w^^^dtrasr""' °'''="'^'^-' A theme on Authors seldom lost • And these, kept up with prudent skill, Might bring the Author to his will Kence may be trac'd the worldly feelinn- That brought on all this friendly dcalin° • I or surely Vellum could not dream "* ' But that It was some learned scheme Which brought the Doctor up to town, When all the snow of life was flown. Syntax, with native keenness felt A * ♦!, • ^'^^t' ^^^ cunning tradesman spelt ; At the same time he did not feel u ^iould be prudent to reveal The curious wish that bade him roam ^p/ar in summer months from home : "volrharai^eYdrhTdTken ^"^ ^St^^^ ^ -""."y - wLn piety inspiHd my pen "'"' ' '"" ^ '^''"^"'' TT««« . « ♦ 'j i>ermons by you, and with your name :— Deep thought two forehead wrinkles provU J ut neither tongue nor lips were mov'd, While to his interest never blind, These hints were whispered to his mind • Sermons by him !— O quite the thing. 1 o publish in the ensuing spring ! They will I'm sure be all the fashion And read, perhaps, by half the nation. For Sermons, as the taste prevails. mLltm, well pleais'd that he had made So .e progress in the way of trade, Which, PS he plann'd it, v,ould repay All his shicwd sense could do or say, His sly enquiries now repress'd, And hush'd his wary :£ca' lo rest : Thus, having smok'd a pipe or tv/o In social mood, he biu'e adieu. Syntax, who had no* liv'd so lonf]j Without that sense of right and wrong, Which Observation's known to give To those who think as .v'^H as live, Felt Vellum's use — but then he knew That int'rest must be kepi, in view ; That this same money-sci aping sinner Would ne'er be lur'd to give a dinnei , Nor woii' 1 his spirit e'er im!:ae To ask ^Leiierd 3Ian to dine, Or 1)0 '\ or smile or send his wine, Unlesi '0 thoMght by way of trade, His kind. <^5s • >uid b-. well repaid. He therefore kept 'neaih lock and key These Volumes of Divinity ; And did his distant pru use make, To keep curmudgeon zeal awake. — Thiu» it a,">pears the day was pass'd, And nighi's calm hour arriv'd at last ; For, Vellum and the Laundress gone, The Doctor now y> as left alone; As Pat took up his night's abode W.here Punch with her companion stood. And moisten'd many a Dublin tale With die rich draughts of London ale. Bu? Syntax, ere he went to rest, Ponder'd on what might be the best, What \t became him now to do, And which the way he should pursue. " Can I," he calmly said, " do better. Than send my Lady MacitighVs letter ? And thus fair Mrs. Briskit see With all her wild vivacity Nor fear to risk what she may do With all her fun and frolic too." Thus, the next morn, a formal note He with all due politeness wrote, To let her know what joy 'twould give him. Did she but say she would receive him. *' — Thi J evening Madcap is at home," •ru.. :j « :ii >» " How," she cxclaim'd " shall I enjoy, The visit of this Rev'rend Boy ! 1 shall be in my highest sphere, When the Quixotic Parson's here I" IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 34t jit to rest : 1 a«.'e adieu. *1 lady's self array'd ; ■ No sooner was it said than done, All • J ^"^ ^^^"^ commenc'd the scheme of fun. All ni due time a stout house-maid Was like the The pendants dangle from her ears, The plumage o'er her brow appears ; The ostrich spoils, so green, so red, Bent graceful from her auburn head, While all that pucker'd silk could show Appear'd in flounce and furbelow, And muslin's broider'd folds display'd The pow'rs of millinery aid. Rnf Mnl^ -^ ^v"" f ''•I 'i^^ ''^"^' "T^^^ ^tJ^c'' di'l a fan command • Whn^ci^' '^}^'\ *°"'''' ^'^'^ ^^^^ t'^'^ sublime of awkwardness While she, indeed, or sat or stood. All motionless as log oi wood She look'd like wholesome fles^ and blood • * But when she mov'd and whr . ^he spoke ' Then was to come the promis'd joke ' As Syntax,by the trick betray'd Would for the mistress take the maid, And let forth many a classic speech ' Which pedant gallantry might teach'; While Madam, from some cushion'd height /- 1 J r "^ ^^^"' "°^ y^' ^"'tc 0"t of sight, ' A?'; 1/^°"' ^'"'''^ ^ curtain's sweep With silent caution take a peen But u^,fn ffP^'Pf '"' ''I'P^^y,^ "^^^^^'^ Syntax and the lady n& And n h • r P'^'^'y ^'"''T^^^ ^•■"^^ S^^^ "^'gJ^t at once appear to v^cw* And in brisk measure rush between To give new spirit to the scene.' Such was the plan this Hvely dame Had laid to form the evening's game And in due course the evening came' Pat now applied his utmost art To make his RevVend Master smart Who when he cast a partial eye. The smooth-fac'd mirror pas ing by' Just whisper'^, on the glancing view, ^ ^ ^* " 'Tis not amiss— I think 'twill do. And now, he said, " 'tvyere well to try A taste of that electuary, Which, as I've known, so often serves ^-^^^'y, To give fresh vigour to the nerves." He with the dose was well content, ^ For 'twas of that which Vellum sent. Now in a hack was Syntax shook. And Pat behind his station took. When thus, in all becoming state, 5»^auuii iook, Tu T^ J''7 J'!''.^^? ^^°"^ through Gray's Inn Gate. —The Doctor et his fancy bend, As to the evening he should sncnd • And how he might be best prepar'd To play a safe Ind cauti^s ?a?d ' For sure he was Aom all he knew. There Jould be fun and frolic too \ But what this gamesome Ma'am would do ' His mental eye could not foresee. Though in such near futurity.^ Thus as he conn'd his lesson o'er, ^ The carriage reach'd the promis'd door. ==in tae mean time the bouncing maid Was taught the part that should be play'd • And thus the artful Mistress gave "^ ^ * Th' instruction how she should behave 34* THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX " When he shall ask you how you do, You'll say, I'm well and thank you too. But beyond this you must not go, Nor e'er reply but YES or NO " What other fancies she was told A few lines onward will unfold He enter'd, when with awkward air She motion'd him to take a chair* And, having plac'd it by her side, * He thus began— She thus replied :— " Ma'am, 'tis an honour you confer" — She said— "y'w well and thank you Sir." " — I have a letter here to show From Lady Macnight"— She said '^ No." " I hope you'll take it not amiss. If I present it !"— She said, « Yes " I'm Doctor Syntax as I live."— She answer'd with a Netrative O ho ! he thought, but I'll go on, ^ For Madam I suppose for fun Is playing an Automaton ; And if that is the Lady's cue, I will be somewhat funny too Madam," he said, " that lovely face Seems to invite a soft embrace And if you please"— She answer'd, " Yes." * The Doctor therefore took a kiss, Which she return'd with such a blow As her rude hands could well bestow : But while, astonish'd and amaz'd, He on the angry figure gaz'd The Lady thought it time to move From her snug hiding-place above' Into the room at once she darted ; The Doctor tui-n'd around and started, And, scarce recov'ring from the slap, Sunk unawares in Molly's lap She shov'd him briskly tow'rds the dame, Who push'd him back from whence he came, And thus, by force of arms uncouth, He play'd at to and fro with both- buch as a shuttlecock explores, Between two active battledores! Molly, who thought her bus'ness o'er. Made hasty passage through the door, And left the Madcap Madam Briskit With her sage, rev'rend beau to frisk it. —But now another air prevail'd, When she her visitor assail'd With humble grace and winning smile, So form'd displeasure to beguile ; And, having kindly grasp'd his hand, With looks not easy to withstand : " I am," she said, " a silly creature. And you, I know, are all good nature. Which will without offence receive The droll reception that x give 'Tis thus I ever treat my friends, But I will make you full amends : P or though the evening has begun In gamesome play and active fun, Reason shall better things supply. And all shall end in harmony.'' -- The Lady did her promise keep. Her gambol spirits went to sleep ; And in whate er she did or said Such serious goodness was display'd, So pleasing to his ear and eye, As well as reverend dignity! to souna icasous rule. He wondcrd she could play the fool, bhe spoke with magic on her tongue, While with a Svren's vnirr* «h#> cnncr . O— 1 i ,_ , > _ tSM uuujcct to sounci icaauii's While with a Syren's voice she sung'; rp IN SEARCH OF A WIFE 343 Then touch'd the organ with such skill That wound the Doctor to her will, And by her flatt'ring power to please So chamVd his sensibilities, I hat he did all his views relate To seek again the marriage state ; Nor did the dear Divine conceal One awkward wish that he might feel. — At once the frolic Madam caught A plan with precious mischief fraught : " O what an idle silly dance," She said, with warmth, " to trust to chance, To hope by accident to find A mate that's suited to your mind I You've but a fortnight here to stay. Scarce time to hear a Yea or Nay : You can't to courtship's rules conform ; A siege won't do— attack by storm !" Then she exclaim'd with tongue and eyes ** We for a Wife will advertise !" She squecz'd his hand— and he complies. "The happiest Hymen I e'er knew," She said, " from advertisements grew ; And to my friend, I wish it known That I shall scarce except my own. Nay do but trust the whole to me, I am the soul of secrecy. If this nice project should Succeed, You'll thank and bless me for the deed : If it should fail, it is no more Than wisdom's self has done before. — Of candidates you need not fear ; Perhaps too many may appear ; But, ere their forms salute your eyes, I'll learn their secret histories ; And you shall see, my rev'rend friend, The one which I may recommend. And if you think that one's the thing. Then for the licence and the ring." --Jl^e Doctor took it all for granted : It seem'd as if he were enchanted. Then, in impressive eloquence. He spoke at once his grateful sense Of her warm friendship and regard. Though goodness is its own reward : But both in mode as well as measure, He left it all to her good picasuie. 'Twas midnight past when he departed. Charm'd with the plan and quite light-hearted. Leaving his lady friend to dream Of all the mischief of her scheme. Syntax now set his heart at rest. Thought what was done was for the best. And to fill up the interval He would on dear Miss Pallet call. Here his reception was most kind : Sweet manners with superior mind, And taste and genius were combin'd. — When the first formal chat was o'er, The works of Artists they explore. Whose labours gain'd the height of fame ^^ ^ And fix'd the imperishable name. They then the living talents try, With just remark and critic eye, " And now," she said, " you will incline To tell me what you think of mine. I hear you say, ' how sweet, how fine P 11 I I 344 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX But if, while your kind words commend, ^ You should see faults— O what a friend !" — I see no faults— but let me tell, The leading power of painting well Must spring from studying various nature, In ev'ry form and ev'ry feature : 'Tis that alone which can impart The height and depth and breadth of art ; Nor do I see your pencil err Yxom that primeval character " Doctor," she said, " O will y(.u stay And take your dinner here to-day : You then will hear two Artists prate Of Art— and who each other hate- Such things there arc— e'en lib'rai arts Are known to poison human hearts, And their warm feelings oft supply With envy base and iealousv » —The Artists came- ~" Sir, Mr. \*, ^' Tis D.jctor Syr. ...x . ivl ' " The dinner soon appear' ' in vi^-. , And pass'd as other dinners do • liut with the fruit the t.Jk began, And thus around the table ran.' — 5aid Syntax, I my ondcr own Where a fair lady's heart is shown That among all the figures here, ' The God of Love does not appear." " — We known professors of f nr Says (J " have got him 4uite by heart : We want no model, do you see. Of this familiar Deity : Sure ^m I, that Fm not so stupid, ^^ Bu. sleeping I could paint a Cupid."— —I wish you V ould the trouble take To paint a Cupid when awake," :)aia tut ring B I know 'twill prove A very sleepy God of Love" " Have done ! have done !" Miss Pallet said, " The passion shall be well display'd. Not as a painter's eye may view it. But as the Doctor's tongue can do it : — And therefore, Sirs, I humbly move That he may speak his thoughts on Love." " — 'Tis a nice theme," Syntax replied, " But ladies must not be denied : Mine are peculiar thoughts I fear. And I ask candour's self to hear. — liie passion that comm.-Mids the heart Is in this \sQx\d.a thing apart • And throughout life, as we may learn, ' Has nothing like a fix'd corcern : It makes fools wise, and wise men fools. But not by any written rules. Love, as recording Hist'ry ' ows, Lead^ wisdom often by the nose : Nature does female weakne. arm \v nh that inexplicable charm That oft without exterior grace, Or piercing eye or lovely face, Or e en th alluring power of wi;, Makes aU-presumin-r man submit Assumes the full aomestic reign, And sees him smile to wear the chain. a; ,•„ \\.^ yA f- ^^^^^ i^oA^'^J* that doth decree As in the world we oftc see. Natures the most oppos'd to join A he matrimonial shrine ; '^■^W 345 JN SEARCn OF A WIFE Nay, hns been often known to match And o»Pn in u " ''"""^ '^''^^ ^^"ds that scratch • Ihe IV/iys and IVhcre/ores, 'tis in vain. SaT. t/ ''^'iri^""'"' ^ ■ ^"•"''^" heart," .r > Vk TT ^"/ ^^" t'-^lk of Art r> — Ihat, says the La< v, " will aonear • If you will hsten, you shall heir. ^^''^ ' ^ut thus continued :~« May I ask SI n I f^^r'''"''""' ^"" P^-^P^^'^l ^ To tell me, if the Arts abo nd ' ArfT '/ r"^- "° ""P'^^-'^^'-^nt task, wkI e .""*^' . And flourish fair in British t/oiinH Where Science s so largely found .?" ' ^'^""''' Ono, twas said, "they're going down. There's scarce an Artist of renown." ' rut^A^^^ ^^""^ mention'd many a name That dwelt upon the lips of fame. U no, they said ; then one by one. And only di'Je^d "nX^ee'"'' ''''' 'V'T'' f'T^ . This colou^r^^fot, that wanted^ 1^'-? ^^^^^ '''''' ^^'""-^- A third knew noth r of the figure :-. Thus having clos'd their critic law, When he hiIre^d%"n^'i,tok '' '^ Zi^^- 'Ti. . Desig/d^a^"glirs'from ^^^^^^'''^ ^^^' ^' ^ ^-^^> Two figures that by cordage hung. ** Pray," it was said, " who may be those ? « C-^^»^o ^'^° murderers I suppose." ^Yes," Syntax said, « of my formation, ///^yr^;////;v/mw .: ,, . . I laughing otill they are faithless ^iu. io me m my art, And both lay clulmto my ooor heaVV But wnen thov mnto th..;^ ,..:.u„_^ ""^ '"> P^^^ "^art en they make their wishes known ow 'tis fled and gone but to you I may declare that it is true THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Though with calm patidtce I must wait 'Till the stars smile upon my fate. — And now, dear Sir, I beg and prav, Come often while in town you stay, And be assur'd whene'er you comt To none but you I'll be at homj !" Syntax took leave with great delight, In hopes to pass a tranquil night. Without one unpropitious thought Which a day's hurry might have brought : But at his door attendant care. In Pat's pale face, was waiting there. With something like a wat'ryeyc Pat said, " I fear poor Punch wUldic. I did not know where you were gone, That I might ask what should be done ; But as I knew you would not spare Expencc to save the poor old mare, I did the best assistance claim, And Doctor ©landers cj^uickly came : I know not what he might discover, But I am sure he gives her over: Your Rev'rence — but to hear her moan, And Oh ! — so like a Christian groan, Yes, it would melt a heart of stone." " —My good icnd Pat, what can I do? The poor beast I must leave to you. Go take your ale to sooth your sorrow, And i.ce me early on the morrow." — Pat came to orders — op'd the door An(' said, "poor Punch, Sir, is no more. How oft have I the mare bestrode. In field, through woods, and on the road I Pojr thing ! she knew my voice as well As the flock knows its leader's bell. I've brush'd her grey skin o'er and o'er. But I shall rub her down no more ;" " — Now Pat, I pray you, hold your peace," The Doctor saici, " your wailing cease : I'm sorry that I've lost the mare. But 'tis a loss which I can bear : It is not worth this mighty pother ; She's gone md we must get another : Yet I will, for old Punch's sake, Go and all due enquiry make, And hear the stable-people state, What caus'd her unexpected fate." Syntax arriv'd wljcn Glanders there Was looking at the breathless mare : And soon an angry conllict rose, Big with hard words that threaten'd blows. — " What caus'd her death. Sir?" ask'd the sage, " Hard work," old Glanders said, " and age." S. " What do you think I'rh such a Turk, To kill the mare by over-work, Who did, I say, for years conduce Both to my pleasure and my use? Whate'er my many faults may be, I ne'er fail'd in humanity ; This my whole life I trust will show. Arid all who long have known mc know. Nay, from your looks, it is a chance, But she died from your ignorance." iN SEARCH OF A IVIFg. 347 you stay, L honiv' !" ng there. I Will die. )ldiuare, y came : ler over; n bear : 7 make, d fate." \y use ? lanity ; Af h^- «i 1 ^* " ^°"^ hundred miles, though travell'd slow John us,,. .K.e , p.p;q«>«^„„ .^u may stare It was hard work that kill'd your mare " Ti;:.? •• ^ ' ' ^".^\^at, " how my hand itches, ihou gumca pig, in boots, and breeches. 1 o rouncc thee well !-Thou lying sinner, 1 o beat thee I would lose my dinner '" --Glanders deign'd not to make reply! Tncf f» ^A I^";» ;v't'Vgrave look and leering eye, Within the house his voice was heard, ^ ^ ^ ' When the yard's master soon appeared. And did in humblest terms request The Doctor's rage might be supprest. 1 hough of strange form and uncouth feature, Uld Glanders is a useful creature : And though his wavs are coarse and rude. H'j IS with ample skill endued, Could have preserv'd your old grey mare, r o. , • ^.^ "°^ have been lying there. -Smiles and kind words, how great their skill. ^^^' A 1- ,.^°''cS"^^te the wayward will! ' And, m this out-of-humour hour Syntax was soften'd by their power "Thank you," he said, " my honest friend, ^ ^ * 1 o your good counsel I attend." Then spoke, as round his eyes he threv/, 1 at come with me !-Poor Punch, adieu !" ' An please you, I ne'er long'd," says Pat. Since my round head has worn a hat, T employ my fists as on that fellow. That half-grown, o'er-grown Punchinello 1" Said Syntax, " prithee hold thy tongue : 1 fear that we have both been wronL' • And, when we do our errors find, 'Tis well to give them to the wind And With more care our way pursue In what w? yet may liave tJTo " Good, reverend man, with all thy knowledge. First gain'd at school, enlarg'd at coIWe And by hard study still improv'd ' In ilic long track where thbught has mov'd i AV ith thy strict honour, gen'rous worth, And all those virtues which have birUi In the vvann, ..npoliuted liean, Where cunning low or tutor'd art 'A 34^ T-Z/J? TOUR OF DOCTOR SVIJTAX Was never, never known to dwell, Whence all who know thee love thee well ; With piety that from above Has caught the flame of sacred love, Tnat, not confin'd to time or place. Extends to all the human race ; V/ith all that thou hast known and seen In the wide space that lies between The time when on the chin appears Manhood's first down and fifty years ; With that shrewd and sagacious mind That can the depths of learning find. And with a critic eye explore The dubious paths of ancient lore, Draw hidden knowledge from the night Of ages past, and give it light — With this and all your boasted care, You see not the insidious snaic That female frolic does prepare, Not to seek vice within its bower. For that is not within her power, Nor, to say truth, docs her design To such dark malice e'er incline ; But 'tis to make you play the fool, To be the sport of ridicule, To make you in the mischief chime, As buffoon in the pantomime, And hold your fancies up to view T' amuse her half-bred, giggling crew, In such a way, and such a place. As might be bordering on disgrace, — — It almost makes me melancholy, To think my pen must tell your folly ; But still I can with safety say, When you, my friend, from wisdom stray, It is your virtues that betray. Or failings which, to good allied. Are fighting seen by virtue's side. Such arc the sources, I well know. From which your venial errors flow; But with them all, I wish most true, That I were half as good as you. — For how can the mind's eye see clear, When vanity presents the ear ? How can suspicion close the heart, When grateful thoughts their warmth impart ? How can it fond belief deny. When ur^^^'d by sensibility ? How turn away and not attend. When beauty says, I am your friend? And when it adds, my friendship use, Can the kind spirit then refuse ? — — But I cease to apostrophise The unthought frailties of the wise } And, my kind friends, shall lay before ye The future progress of my siory. The Doctor now cmploy'd his pen, In letters kind to Sommerden ; With feelings rather grave than gay He pass'd a sentimental day : Though a late evening hour was cheer'd, When Vellum's smiling face appear'd. They smok'd their pipes and chatted o'er The toj)ics of the passing hour. At length 'twas said ; " I ! here have brought, As ni.itter for your future tliovmht-. A written paper that contains What I propose as mutual gains, Which will, as you may plainly sec, Transfer your manuscript to me." Syntax the paper keenly ey'd, And thus without reserve replied ; And I'r And wl: V/hat I — The £ Old Vel — Thcli And I ir This rep Next ) A letter Two phi Because, A kind a And wit, Either oj If in my r^e been While /j Nay strai And ere 1 About the The elder Another s Who for J A n/k*li A.. ^ **My dau{ "-Syntax *♦ Tat, Ice T^ SiEARCir OF A WIFE. 349 )ve. " I own your very liberal feelings, My iiicnd, in all our former dealings, And I m content, I must avow, With what you're plcas'd to offer now • And when 1 throw into account Your kindness, with its full amount,' V/hat I expected to receive Is less than you propose to give.'' -- he solemn contract thus agreed, Without delay in word and deed, Ola Vellum, when away he went. Left Syntax, like himself, content. - 1 he literary busmess done, And the pleas'd Doctor niw alone. On what was pass'd in accents grave His candour thus its judgment to' ave. -He acted with a tradesman's care, ^"^ ^^^' ^'^'^ ^*^^" ^^^^ '■'iJht and fair, And I m justice must commend His conduct as a civil friend • And should I hear abuse of Vellum, ' I would in strong expressions tell 'cm Th:3 reputable man of letters Is just and genVous as his betters " Next morning as he calmly took I lis coffee, poring o'er a book A letter from Ma'am Briskit came, That did his qu'i^k attaUion claiin! He broke the seal, then rubb'd his head, And thus aloud the epistle read :- " Try, MY DEAR DOCTOR, all your arL To make yourself suprcmclv smart ^ For ere 'lis mid-day you will see Two pleas in j^ objects, I think three, To elaim your fond idolatry. But then they will not come alone, Each has a friend to make her known, Because, to speak their several state Must shock you as indelicate A kind aunt will on one attend, Another has a^uardiJ Jiend And with the youngest of the three, Vou will a Llermotl^^se^ Either of them will suit you welt ; Tve seen them all, and all exxel In diff rent ways perhaps, but still, Iftn my sexPve any skill, They must your utmost wish fulfil • J our heart, of course 7villfix on one, And then the important deed is done. LUi v'Ti'' '"^ comniission true, And so, my dear Divine, Adieu / While J possess the power tofri.k it, "^ / shall be yours, ^, ^ ,, , ^l^SANXA BRISA'rT>> ' The Doctor conn'd the letter o'er, And thoughts arose unthought before • Nay strange suspicions now began To seize upon the inner man ; TuZa ' ''"^T •?. '^'^T '-'' , Announc'd a two-fold visitor 1 he elder said, ' Sir, ,f you please, Permit mc to present my niece." But the prim lady scarce had spoke, When, in a voice like raven's croak, Another said, " I here attend, As counsellor to this my friend t^}l!ZI?'!.'.'^^'' ^^'«"!'^ ^''^ ^ P'-'d^In laying widow's weeds aside.'' ^;^p^^Y a;, uiai inon-icnt came, A soiucwhat of a dashing dame • My daughter. Sir, I here present, The excess of all accomplishmcn-^" -hyntax observing on each f^ice A certain smother of grimace. •♦I at, I command you keep the door, Nor entrance give to any more'' ill si |i 550 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX « lie then exclaim'd, " and now I pray, What, ladies fair, have you to say ?" — In a strange kind of bustling fuss, They in succession answcr'd thus : " — I am first cousin to a Lord, And therefore claim your earliest word." ** My niece is of superior age. And should the first your car engage, " — My child is youngest of the three, As at a glance, Sir, you may see, And if you 'bide by Love's decorum. She, Doctor, should be heard before 'cm.'' " — Ladies," he said, *■ I plainly sec The tricks that you would play with me. In all that's said, in all that's done, 1 see 'tis Mistress Briskit's fun; I feel I am a very fool And well deserve your ridicule ; But if you do not quickly go, A Constable the way shall show.'' Was ever any thing so rude ! Was ever such ingratitude !" About the room their tongues resounded : And 'twas confusion worse confounded. " VVc came not here for nought you know, And we will kiss you ere we go ; Fcr though we do not gain our ends, Pray, sweet Sir, let us part as friends. We only claim what is our due. And each expects a kiss frcm you." — The Doctor did defence prepare. And barricadoed with a chair, But what, alas, was to be done, 'Twas fearful odds, 'twas six to one. Thus they t' e angry Sage assail'd. He kick'd and fought, but they prevail'd. Urg'd by his passion as by shame. Thus loudly did the Sage exclaim : " Pat, turn these beldames out I pray, O make them, make them brush away. By any means, or smooth or rough, I care not how you get them off." Says Pat, " I hear. Sir, your commands, I'll take the ladies off your hands ! And now I beg, my pretty dears, That you will lay aside your fears ; I'll do your ladyships no harm, I'll kiss you well, and make you warm. So come along my sweetest honeys, • For love like mine hates ceremonies." He kept his word with no small bustling, Muslins were torn, and silks were rustling. And as they glided tow'rds the stair. He smack'd and clapp'd each passing fair, But the muse must not mention where. — Pat, who was now in all his glory, Thus hurried onward with his story. " Sir, as the party went down stairs With frowning looks and humble airs, And halted on the landing-places To brush up their disorder'd grace?, I bid them send their Mrs. Briskit Just to visit us and frisk it, As we had a rod in pickling, To give her fancy such a tickling, LV SEARCH OF A WIFE. 35 » That with all her fine pretences, Would soon restore her to her senses. Something of this Kind she will play, As her maids told me, ev'ry day. Nay, would you think, Sir, this sweet jewel, Once drove her husband to a duel ; Who stood a shot to make amends For her mad fits of odds and ends I* " — All's well that ends well, honest Pat, So we will think no more of that," Ihc Doctor said, and, tir'd of riot, lie sought the sofa's lulling quiet, 'Rcsign'd to sleep's oblivious power, Till time announc'd the dinner hour. It may have been before observ'd, The Doctor's stomach never swerv'd From all those duties, morn or night. Which wait on genuine appetite* His spirits therefore now had gain'd ' The strength by dainty food attain'd ; And as he did the goblet quaff, He found himself dispos'd to laugh. And not to think with fretful spleen At the past morning's senseless scene. Though with self-taunting ridicule, He would just call himself a fool. This cvenmg he was quite alone, Patrick and Mrs. Broom were gone, And, as he pac'd the chamber floor, His journey past he ponder'd o'er: And though his hopes he did not crown. Yet many pleasures, he must own, He had in its long circuit known • Mix'd up indeed with various whim. That was familiar quite to him! For he still felt the Quixote spirit, Which he was destin'd to inherit From his long-past, e'en boyish age, To that which now had dubb'd him sage. —He had his little business done. And it was time he should be gone. Still he another week would stay, And for his mere amusement stray About this wond'rous town, to see What wakens curiosity. Nor was this all, poor Punch had died, Her vacant stall must be supplied ; And, now his mind was more at ease, On the fair Artist's power to please He dwelt, and on the ample measure She could dispense of solid pleasure, So that he did, at least, refer A day to reason and to her —Thus as he turned his projects o'er, A rap resounded at the door " Well ! Well !'' he thought, " what can this be, To break in on my reverie ? Old Vellum ne'er so late would come, 4 As 'tis his time for gadding home." He op'd the door, and 'gan to stare, For io, no visitor was there ; Euv, looking onward to the floor, There was a basket covered o'er With a warm blanket, which remov'd, The covering of an infant prov'd : There a sweet, lovely baby slept, ^ And look'd as if it ne'er had wept, oynias, now au amazement, said, Oi rathet' lift his hands and prayxi : " O save me. Heaven, what shall I do !" Exclaiming, on a closer view, "And Heaven I trust will save thee too i" A neighbouring Lawyer op'd his door, The exclamation to explore, 3^t THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX When Syntax, all amazement, said, " Here at my door a child is laid * ;* Well," the Attorney then replied, " By no law is it specifieri That you're oblig'd to take it in." " But think," said Syntax, " what a sin To leave the infant here to lie Throughout the night— perhaps to die ' It would be murder in my creed. And my heart shudders at the deed " The Lawyer then withdrew his light, Said, " Wish yOu joy, and so good night." —A message soon reach'd Mrs. Broom, With orders instantly to coTf Short was her period of complying, For she thought Syntax must be dying ; But when she came and found him well. How she began her joy to tell " But then, Sir, why this mighty hurry ? I really am in such a flurry ''' " It is the same," he said, " with me, Beneath that cloth the cause you'll see." And then he told the history " O," she exclaim'd, " the wretched creature, That thus could violate her nature ! Indeed Sir, it may not be civil. But such a mother is a devil •* " Good Mrs. Broom, that may be true, But say what are we now to do For we must instantly prepare To make this innocent our care '' " O 'tis a charming babe," she said, " As ever was in cradle laid such a cherub to destroy— But is it. Sir, a girl or bov '" The Sage replied, " pray look and see. For that is yet unknown to nic." She on her nose the glasses plac'd. And the sweet, sleeping figure trac'd ; " O," she exclaim'd, " the truth I scan j When he grows up he'll be a man ! 'Tis well, Sir, that it is no worse. For I now know a ready nurse And ere that you are gone to rest The babe shall find a milky breast ' The Doctor then the foundling eyed, And thus in soften'd tones replied • " Let the same tender love be shown As if the infant were my own • 1 leave the creature to thy care. Nor cost nor fondest caution spare.'' He kiss'd the infant as it went, Then smil'd, for goodness beam'd content. — Twas a droll day, few such we see. But such the Doctor's desthiy At morn, three would-be wives besought him ; At night a new-born child was brought him : But these strange haps did not molest The tranquil temper of his breast ; Nor ^d it cause a wakeful eye, When the slow, midnight hour drew nigh. — Sweet are the slumbers of the good. And Syntax slept as xirtue should. The morn.ng came and Pat appear'd, Full of the story he had heard With fcehngs of parental care But still of anger no small sh?ic 'Gainst those that brought the infant there. He did not fear the child would perish, He knew there was a heart to cherish, Nor ever to the parish send it, iiut where "twas left would there befriend it —At length there with the laundress came Am humble, curtsying, comely dame, r'^ SEARCH OF A WIFE. 353 JJf. Pl^'^'Slng aspect, neatly dress'd, WhAr« , .• • ■ P^^*" ^o""dling at her breast, "Heaven," said the Doctor, " only knows ^""'^^^^ - Tj wi,- T , ^vhom the babe existence owes ; Thnlr' "°'T' '''"'• '''''^ ''"^ ^P^''^' '^'o ^vl^o"^ it owes a parent's cirr • Therefore, good woman I commend its wants to yoi' and pray attend Who t ""^«"^^'°"s '"f^i^nt had Some rake of tit e for i^s d^d' \hti ^""n' '^'■'''"^ P^'^'^* y*^" ^^'^"' That you might no he secret tell Which "° ?,^'^^^^"^•°"^ ^'i^^ , Hut fim the full an llw[^^^^^ A\ hich nature g,ves you, .t may share Its wonted meal, with ev'ry care. Till the due weanmg hour demands ' Airu T , ^"creas'd attention at your hands ; When I shall leave a fiiithful friend Who to your counsel xvJll n^*««^ And whose kind power is well Dicn-irVl t« "L- r , " ^^^end, no necessary care 1 hat Christian duty b ds preoare " The nurse each promise kind profcss'd, prepare. Ajiru-i »>r T."^ clasp'd the infant to her breast ; While Mrs Broom, with fond surprise, Applied her ipron to her eyes. The good folks wept and then they smil'd, ^ Bless'd the good deed and kiss'd the child ; Nor took their leaves with signs of sorrow When told to bring him there to-morrow. ' TK ^" ?'''u''^'°r '^v^ ^'' ^"^^^'^^ ^""^'^ ^Vas doubly fitted to imnirt Those higher feelings which bestow The wish to Ic sen human woe Oi do their active powers employ To aid the flow of hmnan joy' Bade his thoughts range that they might find '' ^* A spot just suited to his mind ; If not, to pass the day alone Was a resource to him well known. But 'twas not long ere reason's voice, With pleasure join'd, declar'd the choice. Miss Pallet's study was the place Where he should find a smiling face, Which would with brightcn'd eye declare An unaffected welcome there. --He went, she saw, and rang the bell, Wheal she was heard aloud to tell Th' attendant maid, " let who will come, Remember I am not at home. Tis a vain moment I allow » She added, « but I would bestow if such a phrase I dare avow. A ciay upon my learned friend. Which his warm favour may commend And m his kmd remembrance shine, As it will ever rLTn mine '' -Here the delighted Doctor sat In grave debate or li vely cha^ With no vain folly to d.u .1-. pJm, But with attention's ear beside him «3 354 Tt!E TOUR OF t)OCTOR SYNTAX And bucii a mind, where he could pour His sa;Te instructions, treasur'd lore ; Nay, whence 'twould be rcturn'd again In accents soft and humble strain. At length fish, ham and roasted chicken, With peas and tart, form'd pretty picking : Nor was there wanting port and sherry, Which would have made him more than merry, If he had wanted mode or measure To aid hi.-; sense of present pleasure. Miss loo from Pat contriv'd to glean That, to complete the social scene, A pipp the aftcrnocMi would bless With unexpected happiness : And when she did the tube command, He bent the knee and kiss'd the hand That did the r herish'd gift present. Which gave perfection to content. — Such was the sentimental duet ; "With pleasure c'oes my fancy view it : The wise, the kind instructor he, The pleas'd, attentive list'ncr she ; Receiving all his words pursued With beaming smiles of gratitude. She was a fine, accornplish'd creature, A student of those powers of nature, That clothe the earth and charm the eye With ravishing variety : And though v.'ith sister arts endow'd, She was too virtuous to be proud, Bi t kept thd course we seldom see. From ev'ry vain pretension free, AnJ grac'd with calm humility. They talk'd of ails — the room around Did with fine specimens abound; And c'cn the window open'd wide On rising hills and flowing tide. Which her fine pencil gave to hide An old, beplastei-'d dismal wall That cross'd th' opposing interval. — Her beauty was a certain grace That play'd aboj«: her .lir and face, And a mark'd unassuming sense Was cloth'd with artloss eloquence : While his Ow'^otic praise enshrin'd The cmbellish'd pictures of her mind. Nor did they thoughts on Love deny, When the fair Artist heav'd a sigh, Though she ne'er ventur'd to explain The cause of her resistless pain .* She only said she must endure it, And that hope told her time would cure it. E'en by her silence it was shown That her fond heart was not her own. So that if he did then incline To say, *' I wish thou wouldst be mine," He saw and heard enough to prove, 'Twas not for him to offer love. With Syntax and his Idol into Who would not wish to form a trio ! When, sometimes grave, and sometimes gay, The lengthen'd evening pass'd away. — The Doctor was forewarn'd by pride Ma'am Briskit's impudence to hide, Anri t\\aro(nrf» Via niarlo nntl-iinrr L-n.-itim '••'•'} -•' — ; Cj —"•■•'rt Of folly he had blush'd to own ; But with a tear and half a smile That did his feelings reconcile, lie told the foundUng's curious lot, And what a present he had %^U IN SEARCH OF A WIPE, 3!lS I3y some it would be thought distressing, A u.^T^'^''^' it would prove a blessing— A blessing where a power was given k:A IJt^ »i > T? ^^ • ^'"^ ^'.'^ command of Heaven, A 1 , n ^^^^ ^^"'^ attention I can give, And till a parent comes to claim The ri-hts of i mmnf.! I wdl my se^se of duty prove, Nor shalllt ^^al^p"^^^^^^^^ And if, my dear and charming friend, v.iaiovc. Tf 1-, ^°" to Its state would condescend, If your blest clianty woi^d share. Or watch,'at least, the nurse's care 'fill It grows into strength to bear ^^^^' A journey to my tranquil home, T M.-ii 1 c i?^''^ y^"' ^ *'"^^' '^^'^l o"c day come, I u 111 before Heaven s altar plead. To bless you fcJr the vlrtuc.s de^d •» If'^'c • ^*' f '?^ '''''^' ^^'>^h moisten'd eye. '''^ ' My friendship or my charity ; ckI'i ^\"^J? ^^^'^ spring's returning hours, bhall clothe with green your peaceful bmvrMc The babe in all its cherish'd ?harm^ ShaH fiU iJs^o^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ,,,,3 „ -The time now came when they must part ' ^ With mutual wishes of the heart. J ne lair-one, with a modest erace Rorpiv'ri »ii« r*^^* » i • , With promise to embrace aga n Fre ho t^nfff'' ^''"'^ -'''^^'■''^'^' Next morn he ask'd the chi 'to see An ,iT °^^«^>^^"^^^^fc:i'^DEN. But, as the time was dicing on W^en he\ ^u^f.'cd t^'i' '' ^^' •' It now became his anxious fare Th"e loss'mSl f^r t'o'ilS w.-c u 1 r ^^ ^ ""^^'' ^^^""^ ^^c^*"' clcpartcd marc. ^ '"^ Mis breakfast paper told the talf^ Ai n^ri,^ tj i r- Where he indiUg^ the l^^U I^^^^^^^^^^ Bays, chestnuts, blacks and greys were shown, Or for the road, or field, or town, * And one stout mare he chanc'd to see. XT , -1 y "'ch seem'd to suit him to a T : He bade~the mare was soon his own, ''* A„^i • ■^"^"^o"eyP''i'tJ»lliebus'ncssdone, And he in gay equestrian pride Forth from the yard was seen to ride • But soon his sad mistake was found • ' He ne'er had ask'd if she were sound. --What was the mischief of her nature \\n . * • 1 P^ ^^^>^\ "''^^'^'^y s^'^'^^ t^e creature ; But She se. o... s„ch^. Jair^'; Th.,'a''.lfp:i7r\,lSrr; luii-man wcii jiigii met his fate. ' ° peruke flew, A cabbagc-mr-hant he o'crthrew j Away And while the dame was scrawling laid Her angry donkey kick'd and bray'd ; ' 23—2 3S<5 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR .sy'iVTAX Nay, nought could check the wild marc's rage But running headlong 'gainst the stage, Which caus'd a scene of strange distress, That language knows not to express. Half breathless and with naked pate Syntax on his mad palfrey sat ; While she at length obey'd the reins, Stopp'd by the shock which shook her brains. The inner passengers alarm'd Scream'd from affright, though none were harm'd ; While from the dickey and the roof Was heard the loud and coarse reproof, Mix'd with loud laugh and scoffing groan, As the unconscious coach drove on. The Doctor, with astonish'd air, Dismounted from the trembling mare, And soon, alas, was taught to find Th' unwelcome secret — she was blind ! 'Tis well that, for the Doctor's cost. No limb was broke, no life was lost. And half-a-score of shillings paid For all the tricks that had been play'd. The wand'ring hat and wig were sought. Which on a poor sweep's head were brought ; Who met them on his road to town And proudly wore them as his own. —Just in the midst of this disaster, Pat had now haply reach'd his master. And, with the sightless mare, they sought The place where she had just been bought : When Syntax loudly 'gan to preach Or rather to let forth a speech, When he so talk'd of rogues and cheating, That certain horsewhips threaten'd beating : But Pat stood forth and loudly vow'd. Whoever such an insult show'd Should ne'er again speak out a threat, Or lift an angry hand to beat, Wielding a pretty piece of wocd That would have made his promise good. But as he still continued railing And in harsh terms the place assailing. Nay, did in venom'd language strike Buyers and sellers all alike, The Doctor might have found disgrace Among the sharp-set jockey race ; But so it was, a friend was nigh To calm his rash perplexity— The kind and friendly baronet, Whom ho some years ago had met In his first journey to the North, And known for opulence and worth. Who shaking Syntax by the hand Could scarce a bursting laugh command, Thinking to what a market he Had brought his learn'd philosophy, And in his Greek and Latin trade What a blind purchase he had made. " My wonder there is no concealing," The Knight exclaim'd, " to find you dealing In this far-fam'd equestrian college, Where all your stores of various knowledore Would be as useless as the stone Which you now chance to stand upon* Hut now, my friend, take no more care About this awkward, strange affair. /iV SEARCH OF A WIFE 357 I am a Yorlcshircman and breed For this same market many a steed, And I, my rcv'rcnd friend will see Into this same rascality : I will take care that you shall find The bus'ness settled tj your mind. I therefore counsel you to pop Your head in some Bookseller's shop, And there your vacant lime amuse 'Till four, with chit-chat or the news ; Then for my dinner pray prepare, On the south-side of Portman-Square, And let your servant too be there." * Thank you, pood Sir, and I obey," Was all the Doctor had to say. Suflice It, at the hour of four, Sir John receiv'd him at his door, With " your foul, ugly matter's o'er. I've swapped your grey marc for a bay, And you have not a doit to pay : A useful, handsome, travlling hack, As e'er had Doctor on its back ; And if your sturdy valet's come, He may now aint and take her home." Orders were given, and sniiiing Pat, With many a doffing of his hat, Was quickly seen with sprightly air Trotting the purchase 'cross the square. Syntax, with all that powerful feeling ^ Which good hearts catch from gen'rous dealing, Said little, rather he said naught ; His mind involv'd in grateful thought, Check'd the quick impulse of his tongue, 'Till dinner o'er the glasses rung ; WHicn Burgundy and brisk Champagne Awoke the gay convivial strain. The Doctor told his hist'ry o'er. Sir John delighted wish'd for more. And Time, as it was growing late, Broke up at length the tote-Ji-tcte. But ere the well-fed Doctor v/ent. Contented he, his host content. The latter did his wishes tell Before he said, good-night, farewell 1 " You say that ere three days are past You tow'rds your northern home must haste ; Now let me tell you, ere a day Is clos'd, as you pursue your way, You will a stately mansion sec, Where you must stop and ask for me, There dwells a noble Lord, whose worth Equals your patron's in the North, And as a truth I'm plcas'd to tell. Whom I admire and love as well. In him the image you will see Of noble hospitality By whom your worth will be discern'd And learning known, for he is Icarn'd. To-morrow Pthis place shall seek, Where I prepare to pass a week. And you will do yourself much wrong, If you remain not there as long ; Nay, I myself will smooth the way. Or for your short or longer stay. —Syntax revolving in his mind Honour and luxury combin'd. And where his dazzled eyes would see Life in its rich embroidery, i _.__. •••-!.t! It; J •^•tj-v-:fwSiv%, ttilVi X*i3 piVi4SUlW. — He took his leave — the hour was late As he return'd through Gray's-Inn-Gate, When he found Pat his vigils kc'ping. In snoring and most soundly sleeping, \. 35^ THE TOUR CF DOCTOR SYNTAX Who, after many a hurried shake That did th' o'crpow'rin'T stupor wake, Would in exulting tones declare The virtues of the purchas'd mare, Whom all announc'd as safe and sound, And must have cost full '' rce-score pound. This and much more : — lave done ! ha\c done I** Syntax exclaim'd, " the clock strikes one !" When, with the day's fatigue opprest, His bed he sought and sunk to rest. The morrow was a busy day : For his departure no delay Th* impatient Doctor would admit : London he now resolv'd to quit ; Nay, thou,7ht it could not be too soon. Why not that very afternoon ? To Pat he made his wishes known^ With orders, that all might be done, To quicken the departing hour Which would commence his homeward tour. But Pat just hinted they must stay For packing due amther day. As the soil'd linen was just sent To wash-tub's cleansing management, And certain clothes, from rents and tears, Were at the tailor's for repairs. Now, as th' unwelcome truths he told, The room-door opcn'd and behold Good Mrs. Broom — when with her came The smirking, curtsying, comely dame. Who, smiling on the foundling's charms, Would place it ip the Doctor's arms. He, half-afraid and half-asham'd, Refus'd the boon, when she exclaim'd, " You need not fear, depend upon't You've held five hundred at the font. And do not, Sir, look grave and frown, I'm sure you'll love it as \ our own." It was not that his heart relented Or of his charity repented ; But that he saw anotlier cause In present haste to make a pause That a whole day might be beguil'd In some provision for the child. At length, howe'er, the babe he kiss'd. And when he had the charge dismiss'd, He told the laundrer". to apply To the parochial ministry That ev'ry sacred rii': be done, And the poor child be christen'd juilN. He ord V d »oo, that twice each week. The r uld dear Miss Pallet seek. Who would o'er aii ;. .vants preside. As a kind patroness and guide, " But let me ask, for, in this town," The Doctor said, " strange things are done, How shall I know, when, brought to me, It is the self-same child I see ; And that the foundling does not come A changeling to my distant home I" "Fear not," she answer'd, " I will show A sign Uy which the child you'll know ; It is not in the baby's face, Nor do I chuse to name the place : A Strawberry^ as blushing red As when it ripens on its bed, Does on a certain part appear. Though I, Sir, must not tell you where ; rX SEARCH OF A WIFK. 350 cgetating sympathy. o\v. M Nay, it is such a curious mark, That yo. may iccl it ia the dark. The mother, when cncreas'd in waist, Long'd I suppose he fruit to taste, And, as hci wish was not obtai n'd, Th' unconscious child this mark lias pjain'd. — When I was big. Sir, with my Stephen, Who now is nging hymns i Heaven, 1 loni^'d U • j'lrk — I'm not .mistaken, And the iV u child was mark'd with Bacon, Nay, at the time when beans were ripe It grew more like its prototype, And never fail'd to meet the eye The mothc 's lonj.^ing makes it so As Doctors i.a>- 'ud they should The Sage, who -as his cotice tak ng, Laugh'd 'till his very sides were shaking; And, wakca'd to a lively key, Uy Goody IJroom's philosophy, He lost at < ice his teasing sense Of hurry and impatience, And thus dctermin'd to delay His journey to another day ; And with Miss Pallet to enjoy, Without allay, without all ly, The hours that might remain hiS own Eic he forsook the smoky town, To hti- his willing steps he bent. And as her list'ning car she lent. He told his plans, unveil'd his car. s, Display'd what were his ho nd fears. His purpose ne'er again to ; From his lake-side and pie: . home ; Nor more indulge in fancy's .cam, Nor let the air-built flatt'ring scheme Of worldly interest turn aside His mind from reason as its guide ; But while th' allotted moments pass, As the sands lessen in the glass, By duty's ordinance to move In the strait path of social love ; T' enjoy the various good that's given, To seek and teach the way to heaven, And cheerful view the curtain fall — The coniinon fate that waits us all. I do not mean to ret^son, why ('Tis not in my philosophy) A dainty dinner meal inht: its The power to elevate the spirits ; But this I know, that Syntax never Appcar'd eo lively or so clever, As when he found superior work For the display of knife and fork : Thus when the Lady's dinner came, The mild and sentimental flame By lively sallies was suppress'd And yielded to the active zest Which, at the table and long after, Made dear Miss Pallet burst with laughter. But, as the time drew nigh to part. More solemn thoughts resum'd his heart, And the fair Artist thus combin'd The sense of her reflecting mind. " — Your high renown, dear Sir, for learning- Is far beyond my weak discerning : But still I surely may aspire To feel as well as to admire The eloquence and brilliant wit That docs each rising object fit r It And humour that ne'er passes by The offei-'d opportunity, ,k*- I ^_ MICROCOPY RESOLUTION TEST CHART (ANSI and ISO TEST CHART No. 2) 1.0 I.I 1.25 1^ 1^ 1.4 2.8 12 3.6 4.0 1 2.5 2.2 2.0 1.8 1.6 := -APPLIED IfVVIGE Inc ^^ 1653 East Main Street rjS Rochester, New York 14609 USA ~ (716) 482 - 0300 - Phone =S (716) 288- 5989 -Fax 3^0 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX Yet I must own, that I prefer -vu^ v -. Which leavfng frdic out of si.ht, ^'^ ''^^"^^ of character, Does the mind's higher taste dehglit : The nob ci- sense which virtue loves, And while It pleasure gives improves : Becahiis the pressing sense of pain, Nay, e'en i.^^\^^^| ^^^ ^^^ . ,. And though tears gl'ten' in the'eye^ '^'"^^ ^'^'' ' 1 he heart in smiles will sympathise. i he tale that does our feelings soften P..M 1 • ^''^"."?t t»e heard or read too often • wMv;^nS So^^^S A^-^'Pi^l always when repeated: Tl c Joke gJourdulfnor wii?^i;:gr^^' '''^'^'''' ^' '^'^^^^^ The forewarn'd list ncr e'en to smile. The prove: b says, there's nought so stale, ITn]«c •. u ^° ^ "Pl^ ' ^ ^ t^^'^ce told tale. While the heart melts and virtues live • And you ne'er please my mind so mucli, As when on tho^c high points you touch Which the soul's brighter flights display 1 hat bear me from myself away But you command the two-fold power : An • ,^^^ solemn and the lively hour And laughter moisten'd either eye • ^ ^ ' But though my higher feelings bend n^r T *"^ ^^'^"^^ maxims you commend Believe me, I am nothing loath In season 'due to feel them both " This and much more the Doctor heard, ^^• When he his foundling's suit prefeiyd And as he tn-g'd her heart to mov? wLrS and protecting love She said her utmost to content him Protecting love About the child whom Heaven had sent him. And to repav her gen'rous care, ' Ask'd but his blessing and his prayer. That blessing from his heart was given For «..ii 1 ^ ^'\ P'-'^y.^'* ^'*^^'^ the grace of Heaven • Both how to bless and how to pray —A warm embrace, a fond adieu rin^M fi,;/T • j i With hopes of ,^ eha'min'g t le"'"'"'"^'' """"^"' The morning of the following- dav Did hv h.r., • Hi. wild i.npa.ie„ce to be gone '" ^^tlh-i'^tlirg^e^lSr: S?S IN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 361 Once more he saw the foundling press'd And vIowM !,°i ""-"^ ""''^'^ welcome breast, And ^'^^^d wuh scrutmizmg eye The spot ma.Vd by the Strawberry His bills were then cast up and paid, '^'^tvoeny, ^x!l^ ffus presents duly made, When Mrs. Broom, wich added zeal, 1 repar d once more his dainty meal : iinis did he in contentment dine, M« (cu *i "^ cockcr'd up with hope and wine Bill wl„.n i,r ™"??'™es grave and sometimes jok'd • And t„ to'ten the c'un^,';,'';'?" J',',' ""^-^"'"^ '^' thc'chamber door 1 here ne'er was such a curious croafiiro So fond to place a list'ning ear Wl erclr X?n.^ But as a meagrim in her head Has sent hT^L'' '''''\ ^?' ' You may, my Rev'rend Sir, nrocccd Andlcll of f I. """ ^'"'"'^ ^'^^' -Syntax proceeded to unveil Til / 'f "'^'^vVcnt deed." n.u . 1 , ^^ caught a tithe of what I hear Ilad ta'en th' adult'rous bantling in ' You near I'aul's clock now striking ten, And 'till that hour is struck again, ' When the grave business of the day She would nortiSe;j;^i,tgT.t;rf(;LSr ,, And ev^y ehild"fhc-heaM or vie;"!""""' ""'"^^'"^ P'^'^' No more than what her hand has done: Nay, from the pillows, 'tis most certain, n« * , ^^ °" ^^^^ shclter'd by the curtain Doctor, that matrimonial rincr ^ tn^I V i And shouM Poll be th. ....1^^"^^ ^ ^^^^ ^^"O"^ thing ! TKn. • ?*^9"^f^ that be Heav'n's kind- deS^iv That rmg she in her shroud shall wcarNor w fl I e'er the lo^. • Nay, when fhis symbol death shal smother ''^'''• I swear I ne'er will buy another. ' • ■^- 362 THE TOUR O'F DOCTOR SYNTAX — If you had said, to save my bacon, ^ ^ Dear Madam, ycu are quite mistaken, You'ie not to Vellum's virtue just, And wrongfully his love mistrust As I explain the facts to you, The story's literallv true ; Had you said this and even more Her tranquil spirit to restore' You would have heard this warm reply, ' ' Doctor ! I tell you, Sir, you lie !' —Not all the water in the streams That swell the flow of silver Thames No, nor the Thames, in all its pride, * When heightened by the Ocean's tide. No, nor all the power of reason. Would cleanse me from the fancied treason.''* —Syntax did not the subject press. But smil'd and wish'd him all success In cv'ry scheme of passing life. That might embrace or books or wife : When Vellum thus, in fiatt'ring strain, ^^ . Did certain gainful views maintain. —Genius like yours, profound, refnvd. Inspiring such an active mind, Cannot sit still beneath the shade V/hich your name has immortal made, But must in thpse pursuits engage Which both improve andcharm the age. And I my services commend To my learn'd patron and my friend • From whom I've had a letter'd store. And only want a little more.'' " 'Tis very true," replied the Sage, " That I have many a scatter'd page, Which I may still collect together. In wint'ry nights and rainy weather : But, as I think again in town My time-worn phiz \A\\ not be shown, You for your own, or for my sake. Or both perhaps, a tour must make, And fetch the Learning from the Lake." — Thus with kind words from head and heart, These friendly folk were seen to part : Vellum's rich hopes were running o'er, And Syntax gain'd an added store To what from Sommerden he brought, When he, with nuptial fancies fraught, The promis'd smiles of Hymen sought. — As he pass'd on, St. Paul's hoarse bell Struck, as he said, the welcome knell Of his departure, to regain The blessings of his Sylvan reign. Impress'd with this delightful thought, A calm but short night's rest he sought. CANTO V. The morning smil'd, and ere the clock Had the mark'd hour of seven struck. The breakfast, plac'd in order due, Presented plenty to their view. For Mrs. Broom had taken care What the time could allow was ther(r*; •^ iN SEARCH OF A WIFE. e mistrust, rally true ; to restore, :r Thames, s or wife : .ive mind, ly friend ; 1e more.'' >e shown, ist make, And, o- the journey, should they feel lo munch a jig-jog trav'ling meal, z^z A ^ \ J-o j^t, wc*v ling iut;ai, A sausiige big as one-pound rocket, With such !^^^ i^^Sr ''^'''^'p^<^^?.S . The nurse S.!;'dling too^^Te the^ '^ ^^^ ^^'^^^^ ^^^'^e. To hear a blessing and I prayer ' f or those propitious smiles of Heaven Which oft to pious hopes are given. \Vhat pass'd besides, I need not tell, ThTn ' 7'"'^ ^'"^' ''^"^ "^^'-^"t fai-ewcIL A V 1°^^°^ "°^^ 'bestrode his mare. And calmly mov'd across the Souare But soon more gaily trotted on, ' ' And as he pass'd through Hijrhrate town / Its now?;™ ^,'as k^t' L'stS!"""' '"'' ''' "^ ^^< She was of an high-:nettlcd breed An i?L "■"'>' ",■? ""= '^d i Activl, but a vvell-'.emper'd creltare^" ^^""^ "^^'^ ^'^■»'>: Not as Old S?S^t;e';^Cf S-er^d a^-r'^L. was la.e. It scemM her wish, Is was her power ^ °' '"'''"1">'- Without a tluch of:;^?;':;„f*'° "^^tri . Nay, 'twas aCre'^tighten^":;,; "" '"""""^ °" *^ ^"^ •• I tat eould her quick'ning steps restrain, rhe earher hours of morn were past, To suit the Sage, the tranquil hour 4„j ,% , "^P thought could re-assume its nower " ?n^Srslt Si^^lLrra^'cr'7t^^^'«''^,'Rl^"S-' P-^-'d : As for the widows WeTeenTliev .So ' '""? '™' "!"'i '=''""™^ From cheerinVho^es oT thLe1SigS7 ' "^ "'"" '° ^^ \Ari,. . ' .1, Which ought to flow from marria^g rites ..oeer -^^^^^^J^^J.^f^. bonds to bind, Tn T ^ T^"'' ^^""^ ^^^ dift'rent tastes from me In London I soon found *twT i ^ -"i,"-} •-■"- ^iqh, luc iiiuan, S r l3; "■ J P ^'"'^ know And take but half his share of woe ~flf ,iu f/lPjf 1"'* Sentle grace, But smile sarcastic on h?s Toe W All this is very fine you say About life's n.cvtrimonial wayj 368 TlfE TOUR or DOCTOR SVNTAX Whcvc, thon-h sometimes a flowVct blows ^ct there arc prickles on the rose ' And may wc not have cause to mmirn lU ?hcr ^'■^.r"'!!'^^! by a thorn '"' J5ut then, besides these self-same thorns '^r^^:^:^}"^^^ ---'^i with 'K. wju --"■■-"/•"-3 i,iu\Mru will horns' -Whose fault is that ?" Syntax rcnl ed ' Treat your wife always as i hri^iL ^ ' And let your honeymoon survive^ 'V M ' 130 good, be kind, love as you oi^^ht Tl o L?/'' °m"^^^^': ^^'"^^^ *« ^''ve. ;Ti3 want of hulbancfe loVe ; cl ^a e" ""'"'^ '^ ^" '^"'^ '• Where! if lov^e%' fragrant J:;:;^^^^^ ^^-s toil ; Noi 1 1,01-ns nor I I„ms will ever eiow ' And no,v, my worthy friend, Si? jX The Indi s sa'^'aSi'^j;';^! ™:;,.:; , ;' -'ry form abound : While one l^t:^^ IV- 1 '^'^^ ^■--'lSf£Sa^-;e.hi„.n. May set m flow my frozen man-ow Or when bnght eyes their beams may dart Then wh.n^^ "■"''" !">■ "°'' 'O" sKm.bVint St ' inen, when to marry is my lot I'li i ' -Thus the enliven'd ev'ning piss'd And nlM,i'° ^''" '" "<= ""^ knot." For not alone the Doctor's sense H Ji ? "T^ '™^ ""= '■'=' : Had given the hours a quicker flow Th, scholarship and eloquence Bm he possess'd the po?;er to pfe°Te ^^'" 'Z'T ""^^-'ions do ; --The parting words were very k ml Nor i„ ^^ ' ""''' '^'^'^'^n'rieities Just to be civil and no more^ ' t„ '''"°mmon form design'd. But such as were to virtue duo A . i " (°T' ""= foUowmg h?ur • The folloS,, ;^,r^'S Z t°°" """-"^''P ">"•■ Syntax was t Hi'^on l^^^^'"' ii' V™,- ^5^" ", Nor wal it '.m th^Vhird oay's^e^^ J°"™^>- ^'°^'^ '"e day ; -Here he .^If 'kSlwtelo'u'f^ll.Vpt k"' '''''"■■ u Here tell his late adventure^L P"' ' Am .iTh if f T^''^^ °^^'' ^''"^ / Nor did h ?^r^^^^:i^r^^ "^ ^""^' OM...hatT-n^-"r^r"---i^^"' . ' -' ' --y venture to presage Does your\Se"an"i'oTS"e^;^:: -case to live, be in fault ; nxious toil ; m abound : ^cious look sex's sake : ::h in vain. the knot." the last ; "loquence tions do ; ntricities. designed, ng hour ; Iship too. the day ; s heart ; explore, known. It view, engage. You V If, as Of in) Who, You w Of my If the ' She's s She ha I A lady And tn i There's And ni] A fact, ; 'Tis a fc -Thef I For ere I On tlie 1 [Had tall Let her ] [The lad) And, sine Thus it a] And only I ^Patrick [And to en Did ev'ry ! The WoR 'Uiu icit ii L rN SEARCH OF A WIFE. 3<59 f?a.1 1;;^:;::^ t^%^i Nor ..U t,. wish be .ado in vain, Of my clear ifc a f icnI?nos' dear To 'J"''^ ''^'''^ ^° >'°"»- ^^^e Who, if 1 do not greatly eTr in L°-^"^''''T " ^'^P^^^'"^^ ^cre ; lo • . lu ' /• '" manner, form, and chari >f,J v«. . . is just the f'.ir you would nipfi.r ^"arawtcr She's still so fash onTas to mov. vvh\"'''' "" plaything for his age. She has enough of wha^isiod Tn fi^'"" ^^!\demand of love A lady i;rcd, fnd, I can tcll^ ° ^ sr"?* ^?'^ ^^ widowhood ; And truly, speakin- of the hmrf M i ^*'^, ^"-'^'^ ^^^ P'^-^^o ^vell There's fort^fnc too! a prcttv th nV ^^' }'?''''''> ^T V^^^ counterpart. Ilcr nnntt 1 rf ^ .\ ^ ^"""'^'^ ^hc matrimonial rin? iicr nuptial prospects have miscarried, ^' A«4 ■/ "' ^^"' ^•^^^ wishes to be mauled • 'Tic . f • ^^'"^'''^ cxclalm'd, " Aye, this would do < ^ ''* SSSSs V^' F - "-*^-=» On the third day kinc7M,s Bend VVhT,:>'h","'T' '"^ ''"^ "" ■'""•<^ T . , , "^"a you 11 soon bear away the belle • '^he'la'&fol^X^^^ ''^Soft'.h'''"' '^^ "^^' ^'" ^-^'^ ^-"- Seem'dToVe Srried byt rpdT ""^ ^^""^^^'" ^° ^^ -••' For high-flown thoughts and gentle sighs Possess'd, It seems, the wish'd for power. And she said aye within the hour, Nay, on the third or fourth day after : They were both noos'd in Hymen's garter . -Nought now was heard but Love and Dear, Lr.A ' -fi ,^ ^° ^^^"^^ •' ^^y ^^^^ come here ' And, smce it is such charming weather, O let us take a stroll together • While she would sing to some fine tune, 'ogetner . Tu : H",^ i"e shall be one honeymoon.'* And to employ his utmost care M.i ? ^^ ^'^t °^ ^^'^ ^^^"t, h/ "'.^ uimost care How to receive the nuptial oair He with great glee the tidings carried : ^ ^ r\iA ^,^ Ml" '^' "'^ Reverence was married The kind of wife that he would bring.— 24 L 370 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX The'S ■Such ^hat e] ^nd ma iVhile S( Vnd all Syntax to his friends had written, That he had been by reason smitten j That he was not so very stupid As to play a game with Cupid ; But he had ^ound a proper wife Who, he believ'd, would through his life ^ "* Strive to exert her various powers In quickening his slow-pacing hours, And that 'twould be her constant aim To be an honour to his name : She, he was sure, would gain her ends, To charm himself and please his friends." Pat, who had seen both great and small. Was ask'd, and he confirmed it all. " A lady of genteeler air," He said, " was not seen any where ; Nor is there one about the Lake Who will a better figure make : On Thursday next they will be here, And the whole parish will appear In its best figure and array. To celebrate the holiday, When my dear master comes again With his fine bride to Sommerden." The day arriv'd, the sun shone bright, And ev'ry face gay with delight. The motley crowd were seen to wait Impatient at the village gate ; And when the expected pair appear'd. One gen'ral voice of joy was heard. ■ The Bride, whose tonish inclination Attended to the ruling fashion, 'he higl To make her entry had bedress'd Her upright form in all her best, " " " And thought it a becoming care To make the natives gaze and stare. The plumage nodded from her head. Her pale cheeks wore a tint of red : And, as the carriage pass'd along. She bow'd to the admiring throng ; Nay, scatter'd silver 'mong the boys Whose huzzas join'd the jovial noise. Some lin'd the paths beside the road. As some the way with branches strew'd. Four damsels of superior grace, The humble beauties of the placej^'ou^d as By Worthy's care all clad in white, With rose- red ribbons gay bedight, A garland bore, whose flow'rs combine To make the nuptial symbol fine ; And Sal and Kate and Doll and Betty Were never known to look so pretty ; While many a tender village swain View'd them and own'd a lover's pain. The steeple bells were loudly ringing, The parish choir preceded singing, Accompanied by fifes and drums, " Behold the conquering hero comes." Ma'am own'd she felt no small delight At this unlook'd for rural sight But felt it more because it prov'd How much the Doctor was belov'df'^hus, wl — The long procession mov'd on straight To the old hall's wide op'ninggate, \^^ now ; Where Worthy and his charming mate p ^ow a c Stood with kind smiles upon their faces, And their known hospitable graces. The married couple to receive With the best welcome they could give. 5ut she I »he saw 'raise the she the hough ir hough si hus she I ssides, as ay* while ot as it us reason smitten ; ime with Cupid j !N SEARCH OF A WIFE. zn The Husband," Syntax said, "commends H,s dear w,fe to his be., of friends."- rhe love we to that husband bear Thp'9rM,;.. 1- . ^^^^^ ^^'^^ "lost fondly share » Such cheerfll'kTnZ '^^?-i"""^^ ^" "^^^^»t home : ■hat ere a„rur o" tSVerfo'c^Tf ''?,"'"' . , And Mrs. S^nTS^adly fouVd ""^'" '"" ™= '"^'""' "O'-e ; tre she could throw her thoiKrius aronn,! A husband kind, by all belov'd ''' Ana fnends her heart at once approv'd. -The crowd retreated to the green, .nd many ^stre"^ till ,-Si,VThe 'T '""' V 'hile song and dance and ™?",e^lvCnnH"r f/ "''; i°yous feast ; Thus hope on K'e pS^° smii' 1 "" ">'""'-' d'^>'' ■h^v.- -u ^,°' ""^^ " «f i's views bcEUil'd .nd SfdSi^&:SS^:r ^™'^ -"^'^^ '-^ "--arried dan,e, Nay the gay Ladies round the'^Lak"'''"" " '"^ ^^-^"-3' ' A i ?"\ ''" '■'■"^ *'"= fashion take. aL " f, M ''™'''' '"" ^"ff^'l starch, lut she Wn»t K™""' =" "P"Snt as a larch, ' She therefr;Lsy"[L\ t^r;-;:' "'■'"''' ''^'-^""'^ -f^ -• -•™,i.4 1 -^"^ '^hatter'd with his flatter'd mffe .hough in her bounties unrestminM Qi, .-i?!'"'''^,'^^ ^"^ of industry iiough she would a Se cotta/e rfii InH f ^'' '^'^"'^^ maintain/ •ecededsmgmgJ , J^^\r^^ove was not unmix'd witSe ■nus she assum'd the V llaee reiffn Nr.i-ri^ i i , f , • . J ru" °"-'r^^ bothTh^eWo^R^KS Messy*' ™'' '" ™"' -• , fnr .„..,, .,„. J ,J^h^^,"ought treasure they pSsessu" ,ntax a changelff^n^'^/J^^f^ P >« ,^ .^^rsJ h" ^""^ ^ ''^"- <■-=- He now a varying sembHnrp wnL 7? at first he scarce was known e now a diffVent form wlt^I J°^^_^.^?"\ ^hat he ever seem'd be?Z' 'Side. .. P . "^ mightte taken for "g^L,^!"''^ ^^^ ^^^^^^^ ^^ean"; ■sides, as Pat was heard to snv Mic 1 • ' , ey could givc-fty' '"^^^^ in contemplative moo'd Hk '?• ^^^^^^^-^J^av'd ev'ry day. ■ 24—2 )ur to his name : seen any where ; ter figure make : Irish will appear rate the holiday, the village gate ; l le ruling fashion, 1 in all her best, gaze and stare, Imiring throng : ;ies of the place, 3ns gay bedight I for rural sight, tor was belov'd I mmtrn 372 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX He now in robe of purple dye, Maintain'd Canonic dignity. His gaiters with dust cover'd o'er Were seen upon his legs no more, But when he rode his top-boots shone, Or hussar'd d, la Wellington. The squeez'd-up hat that deck'd his brow Was chang'd to solemn beaver now : His queer, grey caxon laid aside, A smart brown wig the place supplied, Which, manag'd well with comb and care, The semblance bore of native hair. Thus chang'd, the wond'ring people star'd, And the first time that he appear'd At church in all this novel gear. There scarce was one attentive ear ; Tiic gaping wonder and surprise Forc'd all the soul into the eyes. -Thetjentry much adinii-'dthe art That made the learned s oven smart ; And all around approv'd the dame Who quietly contriv'd the same : But she had someihing more to do. To change his gen'ral manners too. ^His violin was not unstrung. But only touch'd when Madam sung ; Or when the Lady chose by chance To join the Worthies m a dance , No more he fiddled to the people. When they bejigg'd it 'neath the steeple ; No more he prais'd the most adroit, _ Who urg'd the ball or threw the quoit; But still' the people all around him As kind and friendly ever found him, ... , , As when he wore a six-days' beard And in his griz/le wig appear d. He still smil'd 'mong the village folk, Though he left off his funny joke ; , , , , And such was the continual good Which they in word or deed pursued, That when he and his stately Lady StroU'd round the village, 'twas a gay day. 'I he winter came, the winds were bleak, And the cold breeze blew o'er the Lake, „ , f , . When Madam Svntax never stirr'd But well beruft'd and well befurrd While the Sage was to public view Wrapp'd-up and well bemuffled too. His neck was bound with hairy skin. That form'd a pillow for his chin; So careful did the Dame appear. To cuard from cold her swaddled dear. , . . • -Some hinted,'twas a silly whim. To deck the Doctor in this trim, And make him look so like a bear Whose skin he thus was seen to wear ; But that these fancies prov'd of course The Grey Mare was the better Horse. How that might be '. cannot tell, But this was known— all things went well, _ And if her fancy was for sway, She rul'd by seeming to obey. The new-born'd changes much approv d : The V joy'd to see his alter'd phiz, That he no bnger was a qiu , And were delijjhted at the plan That made him look a Gentleman, ThatT^extX ight not err - From his pure, naUve character, All in due 1 While each While lesse But, in regj And when i A Letter to " Yoii kiicu. As well for But sage di I think you If I defer in I trust with But though The little w And be assu 1 And when tc 1 1 That name, And Mrs. S} That she sc( 1 C She would it And so it w.n And Madam Each ceremt /A^ SEARcn OF A WIFE. 373 dignity. 10 more, llington. iupplied, tive ear ; the eyes. in smart ; tie same : im sung ; a dance ; appear'd. i pursued, 11 befurr'd _ I r his chin; I this trim, ng to obey. was a quiz;! Gentlemanij ; character.) On moonlight nights the neighbours round Or music or card-parties found, All in due form and social glee, Or at the Hall or Rectory ; While each, in some kind welcome way, Did hospitable rites repay. The higher show, the Christmas ball, Were the display of Woi thy-Hall ; While lesser pleasures did engage Th' p "ntions of the Parsonage : But, m regard and kindness shown, "l \ i. families appear'd as one. —Thus pleasantly the Winter ^ ass'd, When ling'ring Spring arriv'd at last ; And when it was now growing gay With the sweet offerings of May A Letter to the Doctor came Inscrib'd with sweet Miss Pallet's name' " You know, Dear Sir, / did ititend To pay a visit to my friend As well for his dear, rev' rend sake. As to steal beauties from the Lake And let viy pencil ramble round ' The charms of that enchanted ground. But sage discretion bids delay To future time my northern way ; For I had promised that my care To Keswick's side the child should bear; But if with nurse and child I travel, A score of tongues would soon unravel^ By scandal tutor' d the strange sight Of poor Miss Pallet's distant flight ; A nd all the spiteful world would join To swear the little Bantlino's mine, I think you will with this agree, And praise my cautious Prudery, If I defer my course to steer To Keswick 'till another year. The Boy's a perfect Cherub grown, And the good nurse will bring him down; I trust within a day or two She will her northeru tour pursue And soon present the babe to you. ' But though his is a %uay ward fate, I cannot but congratulate I he little urchtn, since he shares In your kind heart a parent's cares • And be assur'd, my Dear Divine, That he has gain'd a share in mine. My best respects I pray ^ make known To one %vhom now you call your own ; And when to Heaven you ge''your prayer, O ask its all-protecting care For one, who does her name commend To the remembrance of her friend I That name, as you've been us'd to call it. Is your most (^-ateful , . , , , ,. Sarah Pallet.'' In a few days the banthng came, Whom now w^e Little Johnny name. And Mrs. Syntax thought the story So added to the Doctor's glory 1 hat she scem'd proud of Little John, As if the babe had been her own. Though sprinkled from the sacred rill Of parish-church on Holborn-Hil', She would if WPrp hanficVl ao-nJn WJfl-i oil A..^ C _i. o , ' -. — ry — "£,"••• »» :^t: till viv:-^ luiiu cii ounimcracn : And so It was, when Worthy's self Stood sponsor for the little elf • And Madam Syntax held it there With promise of her future care' Lach ceremonial rite was done, Again the child was christcn'd John j ru THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNTAX No Other name, alas was known. To give the name it ought to bear, No parents did the duty share, Th' unnat'ral parents were not there, But such as happy chance had sent, Or Heaven had in its mercy lent. — The Register, as all may see, Records th' eventful history. All things pass'd on in that calm way Which leaves dcs ription nought to say. All that the Doctor found of leisure From parish cares and social pleasure Was to his Study's toil confin'd ; Where ev'ry impulse of his mind Was urg'd to gratify the aim On basis firm to fix his claim To Learning's meed and Future Fame : And when Ma'am's busy morn was o'er Among her birds, her flowers and poor, She was beheld in silent pride Embroid'ring at his table's side- Nay, oft-times she would fetch the book In which enquiry ask'd to look. And having found the wish'd-for page, Would smile and say : " Look there, my Sage !" —Thus hours and days and seasons went As it appear'd in full content : At least complaint in silei e slept. Or was a perfect secret kept. During the summer Dickey Betid With Madam visited his friend, And joy'd to find their nuptial scheme Had not turn'd out an idle dream, Fair Pallet also came to glean The charms of the surrounding scene, And gladly bore away to town The beauties she had made her own. Nay, Velliun also did repair To talk of print and paper there ; And, in due time, he bore away The treasure of a future day. Which the learn'd Author had prepared With promise of no slight vr vard. At length another year pass'd o'er Just as the last had done before: Syntax ne'er utter'd a complaint, And Madam was a perfect saint. The gout indeed gave hints, though slight. Just to disturb his sleepy night. And certain feels to her would say. Upon a cold and shiv'ring day, You're not so young, fair dame, we trow. As you were twenty years ago : But then, all these complaints to smother. They were such nurses to each other ! The foundling also 'gan to walk, And which was better still to talk ■ Nay, Mrs. Syntax oft would quote His sayings in imperfect note; Was pleas'd when he could say, " Your TahP^ But more so when he said " Matmna /" A fondling sound that did appear So pleasing to her ready ear. Just at this time the evening fair. With a soft breeze of summer air, Dear Mrs. S propos'd to take A little fishing on the Lake. Fai did the usual boat prepare, The lines and angle-rods were there, When the sage Doctor plied the oar. And cautious row'd along the shore. Madam stood upright in the boat. And eager ey'd the bobbing float ; When, by what shock no one could tell, Into the floou uie Lady fell : Instant But they The IVo. To keep And soor 'Till the I Syntax be I popp'd, '■ And as it Such flesh Poor Mrs. And as I d '—But not The Docto — The lane And his ha Torpor the Nor will he To call him Nor did she But to the d iity share, lercy lent, il history. ' his mind his claim ble's side- l content : cret kept, lis friend, ng scene, her own. »er there ; iture day. le before : feet saint 'ring day, 1 to talk ; ect note ; eady ear. nmer air, :he Lake, Dre there, ng float ; ,ady fell : IN SEARCH OF A tVIFE. 375 Instant he Pjjjng'd into the wave, The darling of his life to save. When Patrick follow'd, nothing loth, * And flound'ring, nearly drovvn'd them both : Jut they were near the grassy shore, And all the danger soon was o'er 1 he wet clothes chang'd from foot to head, The fright dispell'd, and both in bed. They somehow had the secret charm Ti, rxr /^° ^"^ ^"^ ^^^P ^^^^ ^^^^^ warm. The Worthies hurried down to see The mischief at the Rectory ; But, findmg ev'ry thmg was right, ^ And Ma'am recover'd from her fright, Ind .nSn t^^'f^^f ^^°"^^'!, ^^^y' They ask'd for some amusing play, And soon the welcome cards were spread On either corner of the bed 1 he curious scene throughout gave birth jTii 1. 1 . "^^^.^ufsts of unexpected mirth, /- Till the kmd friends the visit over. Left them to sleep and to recover. 1 he following morn, as they talk'd o'er c , ^^ dangers of the day before. Syntax began to shake and shiver. While ev'ry limb was seen to quiver : He wish'd to treat his state with laughter :— ' O hissing hot into the water \171\ h Wrf'nn'^ f ^%f^^ ^^^'^^ °^^ J^^^ F^^s^^«" 5" the play : Wh ii f 7^ ?' ^''"J' ^^^ '^^' ^ t^^"^ it cannot injure me ; Poor Mr., l^^ ^t-° '""^'^ VPon, And I am nought but skin and bone.'' I'oor Mrs. S— - big vvith alarms. And all her fears and frights in arms. Could not help saying :— " 'Tis provoking I At such a time you should be joking !" When he with chatt'ring teeth replied, My love lay all your fears aside : And as I do not feel alarm, When I'm so cold, be not so warm !» 1 hough he, indeed, as It appears. Let loose his jokes to calm her fears.— ^.. n!!°J ^ P^^^ent was delay'd, To send for neighb'ring Doctor's aid The Doctor in a hurry came. And found the svstem in a flame -The lancet to profusion bled. The blisters cover'd back and head And Syntax was convey'd to bed. When there reclin'd, his upward eye Seem'd as commercing with the sky. And his hand waVd, as if to tell. This is a long and last farewell ' Torpor then oer his senses crept. And he appL'd as if he slept ;' But Death had given the final stroke, M -n , ? ^ ^^°"^ that sleep he ne'er awoke : Nor Will he e er again a^vake, ^ Until Creation's self shall shake, T 1, 1-- ^^^ the last Tnimp Its silence break, ' To call him, with a life renew'd. To the bright guerdon of the Good. When the good man had brcath'd his last. Poor Mrs. Syntax stood aghast. 1 hen laid her pale cheek to his ^ace, XT J- 1 , ^"^ clasp'd him in a long embrace : BuTtoIhe 5/^// in^^''''^!" -"f"- '^^ contemplate the work of fate ; But to the Hall in hurry hied, With little Johnny by her side. 376 THE TOUR OF DOCTOR SYNT .^'. She told her state, pale as despair, * And fiU'd the house with sorrow there. —Thus Syntax clos'd his life's career, With all to hope and nought to fear. — The frequent tear still in his eyes. Worthy prepar'd the obsequies, With all due rites to grace the end Of his belov'd, lamented friend. O 'twas a melancholy scene When he was borne along the green ; What train of mourners did appear, And scarce an eye without a tear! No toil the harvest fields display. It seem'd grief's mournful hoHday. The village wept— the hamlets round Crowded the consecrated ground; And waited there to see the end Of Pastor, Teacher, Father, Friend ! — Wh3n in the cold ground he was laid, Poor Patrick from his trembling spade Could scarce the light dust scatter o'er The form which he should see no more.— — At first the bursting sorrow came In floods upon the widow'd Dame But, by affection's care consol'd. Unruly grief was soon controul'd : Religion too had taught her mind Its law divine, to be resign'd : Though, for the rankling, heart-felt wound, A perfect cure was never found. O 'twas a loss ! — The Blessing flew ; Th' enjoyment and the prospect too ! It was a tranquil calm, delight ; No glare — but ev'ry day w^s bright ! — Through life's long way she travell'd on. In gloomy guise, with Little John. The relict of the man they lov'd. She still the Worthier kindness prov'd ; * While Dicky Bend and his fond wife Had been and were her friends through life.^— —But, once a year, affection's claim The Pilgrim Widow always came. To Sommerden, to shed a tear Beside his tomb who died for her : And Little John, as there he knelt. Was ta''crht to weep for what she felt ! And, as he wept h. xrce knew why, Lisp'd the instinctive agony. The Tom u near path- way side appear'd, By Worthy's sadden'd friendship rear'd : Near it the dark, o'erspreading yew Sheds tears of morn and evening dew ; And, as the sculpture meets the eye, " Alas, Poor Syntax !" with a sigh. Is read by every passer-by .* And wakes the pensive thought, sincere. For ever sad ! — for ever dear ! My verse has now no more to tell. The Story's ^oviz.— SYNTAX FAREWELLS THE END. ; obsequies, nted friend, the green ; lout a tear! ful holiday, ed ground; sr, Friend ! w'd Dame, rontroul'd : e resign'd : 5sing flew ; & d for her : ive agony. >asser-by <•