#. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) ^^ /. // A^^ <. ;-t>:^ Th« copy filmed h«r« has b««n rtproduead thanks to tho ganarosity of: New Brunswick Museum Saint John L'examplaira filmA fut raproduit grAca A la g^nArositt da: New Brunswick Museum Saint John Tha imagaa appearing hara ara tha bast quality possibia considaring tha condition and lagibility of tha original copy and in kaaping with tha filming contract spacifications. Las imagas suivantas ont it* raproduitaa avac la plus grand soin, compta tanu da la condition at da 9a nattati da I'axamplaira fiimi, at an conformity avac las conditions du contrat da f!lmaga. Original copiaa in prlntad papar covars ara filmad beginning with tha front eovar and ending on tha last page with a printed or iiluatratad impres- sion, or the back cover when appropriate. All other original copies ara filmed beginning on the first page with a printed or illustrated impres- sion, and ending on the laat page with a printed or illustrated impreaaion. Las exempiairea originaux dont la couverture en papier est imprimis sont filmis en commenpant par la premier plat at an tarminant soit par la darnlire page qui comporte une empreinte d'impreesion ou d'illustration, soit par la second plat, salon la caa. Tous lea autrea axemplairas originaux sont filmis an commen^ant par la pramiire page qui comporte une empreinte d'impreesion ou d'illustration at en terminant par la derniire page qui comporte une telle empreinte. The last recorded frame on each microfiche shall contain tha symbol -^ (meaning "CON- TINUED"), or tha symbol ▼ (meaning "END"), whichever applies. Un dee symboies suivants apparattra sur la derniire imege de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — *> signifie "A SUIVRE ", le symbols V lignifie "FIN". (Maps, platee, cherts, etc., may be filmed at different reduction ratios. Thoae too large to be entirely included in one expoaura are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, aa many framea aa required. The following diegrams illustrate the method: Les cartea, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent Atre filmie A des taux de riduction diff Arents. Lorsque le document est trop grand pour Atre reproduit en un seul clichA, il est filmA A partir de Tangle supArieur gauche, de ^auche A droite, et de haut en baa, en prenant le nombre d'imagee nAcessaira. Las diagrammes suivants illustrent la mAthode. 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 ■%» m^i *K,'Bs': %%,'= ■ ll. iii M lill l lll l | | »M» THE A mmo-c0mjiVcnATie mm^ SXJIT3EXI> TO TH31 TIX^BS. By DOROTHEA POGGEBEL, SPT-'^-^R. l;felTEl> BY HERSEI.r, Cum privikgw cf her sex. i i « i i i ii ii i ini i JFBBBUARY, 1866. A SERIO-COMIC, POLITIC m SXTITBID TO OTIIB TXMIES. By DOROTHEA DOGGEREL, ::IS ■■'•_r,r1' ■.r i .Sl'INSTER. EDITED BY HERSELF, Cum privileyio of har tea:. FEBRUARY, 1865. ■^:m vvvv,m .^'•■■ ^;...S:^^'^^/<:y^ ''■■'"^Wf ■Aftrnmuunj. ^■'i^ :.*-;';^ft. ■■AP: i' ' f'-ii ./^ /■ ■'/.- //- ^^ tti '*' ^ «(. -^ ' ■■*-«. ■-V.ij.s -;.-^V.;. \ tl THE FEDERATION SPIDER'S ¥EB- " Will you walk into my parlor? ** Said a spider to a fly ; " 'Tib tlio prettiest little parlor " That ever you did spy. " The way into my parlor ••Is up a winding stair, •• And I have many pretty things "To show when you are there." •' Oh ! no! no!" said the little fly, «• To ask me is in vain ; •« For who goes up your winding stair, ' ' Can ne^er come down again ! — Marv HOWITT. I. Thoro is a little scattered place In Canada the West, 'Tis called in Indian, " Otiawa,^^ And't has been greatly blest. II. Nature has been most bountiful In overytliing that's grand, And art is now contributing With no unsparing hand. III.* Oh! little "liyiownr favored spot! Wljy acelc'st thou to combine Thcau bap[>y Colonies in one. To worship at thy shrine? THE FEDERATION SPIDER'S WEB IV. Is Canada so ill at ease She needs a Doctor's skill ? Must, too, a Druggist her attend, To aid him with a pill ? 7. To her four sister Colonies In haste, for help she flies; Such nurses, and such treatment prompt, A desperate case implies — VI. A sovereign remedy they've found — A plaster famed, they say. Which for a time at least, 'tis hoped, The hoimorrage will stay — VII. A Federation sugared pill, " Good both for man or critter,'' Till dosed " ad nauseam" she'll find The swee-t, but coats the bitter. VIII. Search classic lore, and there portrayed The God of Healing find ; A wand, the emblem he displays. With serpent round entwined. IX. A Serpent our first tempter was- — Beware its subtle ways ; Trust not to politicians, or Their " cure-all," of our days. THE FEDERATION SPIDER'S WEti. X. Whj should we be the Styptic made For Canada's old sores ? Why sliould we send our " choicest meh" , Far from our sea-girt shores ? . xt. For old sores, as we all wpII know, Do oft break out afresh ; A limb is lost, life ebbs away, Take Avarning by " Secesh." XII* But onward ! onward 1 still resounds The cry from far and near, For Federation all run mad, And think they've nought to fear, XIII. Tho' Federation's paths are steep, And up a " winding stair" — Led by amhithus bands of men, We'll triumph ! ne'er despair, xiy, " Great Statesmen^' thou, wo all will prove, With '' Tilley" to the fore, And lord it too, in famous style, Our sway from shore to shore, XV, Then hie away to " Ottawa !" The scheme's both grand and vast, Such an " expanded field'^ we'll have, For old, and young, and fast. THE FEDERATION SPIDER'S WEB. XVI. Our Governors we then can choose From our own fire sides ; Free from all party influ'nces — Such feelings and such guides. XVII. " Tuppers" there ure, and " Tilleys" too, With " Grays," " Browns," and •' M'Gees," And lots of other leading minds, You and I, sir, if you please. XVIII. The article's abundant — raw, Tho' 'tis Cfolonial stuff; 'Tis cheaper than imported far. Of which we've had enough. XIX. It wants a little rubbing up. Some scraping, and some JiUing — A little polish of the French — Some furbishing, and drilling. XX.* When, too, a " Fisher" we send charged With Homeward bound despatches ; He'll ne'er again be placed, I hope, On ship board under hatches. XXL* " George Brown," they say, without his bag, " Med whiskers, or moustaches/' Was treated like a " Statesman great/^ •' Not made to feed on ashes. THE PEDERiTION SPIDER'S WEB. XXII* When he, with Section Siocty-Seven, Was sent across the seas, To fix for Canada's defence, Such Slim as she might please. XXIII. These Delegations, apropos ! Have, it would seem, become An " Institution" of the land, But 'tis expensive fun. XXIV. Some two pounds ten, per day, 'tis said, (Should the accounts he found) For bluenose boys when on the spree. As statesmen " bobbing round" XXV. Our Judges too, will then be raised, In salary and Bank ; Why should they not talk politics, E'en while they sit in '' Banc." XXVI. New courts for Lawyers, with new fees. Expands their field, 'tis true ; But Farmers, and Mechanics skilled, What is held out to you ? XXVII.* Taxation, is your only boon, In " Wilmot's" parlance chaste, " Eaw head and bloody bones," 'tis called- This is your dainty feast. 8 T^E FEDERATION SPIDER .S WEB. XXVIII. For be assured, you can't compete In products of the soil, Or manufactured articles, With all your skill, and toil. XXIX. Canada, more prolific is — Her climate less severe ; Wheat, Beef, and Barley, Butter, Pork, She exports every year. XXX. She has the capital in hand. With factories employed ; The raw material abounds-^ Oompete, and you're destroyed. XXXI. On their materials from abroad, They've placed their duties high, To foster all these factories. Whose goods we'll have to buy. XXXII. Per cent., one hundred, on imports Of liquors, sound and old, While whiskey of domestic make, For thirty cents, is sold. XXXITI. If we could only get it now To carry to the pulls, What Btrength we'd find in Union ther?, And oh I what jolly souls I V THE FEDEKATION SPIDER IS WKB. XXXIV. Let's go for Federation, Boys ! And temperance without laws ; " P. W. P%" and all would find Strength given to the cause. XXXV. Molasses pays, as you will find, Five cents, ivith ten ad val. ; "Tax poor man's sweet'ning?" was the cry, Here, on two cents per gal. XXXVI. Our country's Maidens diii;k tlieir tea, At four cents on the pound ; C^anadians pay full six cents more, As by their Tariff's found. XXXVII.* " Union is stremfth,'^ th' Archbishop says, But 'tis an Irisli Bull ; His Grace's logic's out of joint, — His promises are null. XXXVIII. Hist'ry he cites, and for his "p'oo/'," After a d»!al ol' trouble, Goes to Geneva, but it wont Stand lestitKj by the '' hidMc." XXXIX. His taste is good, his cellar too, (The premises I'll name). Water, and Rum, or Whiskey, take, And victory I claim. 10 THE FEDERATION SPIDER^S WEB. XL. To water add, but good old Rum, ' And Union's strength, no doubt ; Reverse the case, water the rum. Its weakness soon crops out. XLI. The verdict " Ex Cathedra" give, As at your ease )'"ou sip ; " In vino Veritas" 'tis said, Pre chides a lying lip. XIJL* Hear what in Canada, " Gait" says, " Oh ! we'll have lots of pelf; " And as to Lower Provinces, " Let each take care of self." XLIII. From twenty, down to fifteen pounds, Their Tariff they reduce ; The balance must be paid I ween, Pray tell us " how the Deuce." XLIV. Ours must be raised, as all admit, Tho' differing in amount ; Odds bobs ! says Villikins ! what of that ? The Railway's tantamount. XLV. Tho Railway to be built ? Indeed I But when ? and where ? I'd know, Will you e'er hoar its whistle should It plough through Northern snow ? THE FEDERATION SPIDER J4 WEB- li XLYI. The Railway to be built ? Indeed I Oh ! yes sir ! in a trice, Has Canada before played false ? They've bilked us twice or thrice. XLVII. Western necessity, pray mark ! Reduces cost two thirds ; This but reminds me of the cast •* Of chaff, to ancient Birds.'' XLVIII. Should we be caught with such a bait, Our rights and Rev'nues lost. For Western works, we then would pay, More than a Railway'd cost. XLIX. And when in Wedlock's bands we're yoked Like shamrock, rose, and thistle, Too late you'll find, we'll have to pay Too dear for Railway " whistle." L. Let's have the Railway, if we can, But count the cost and pay, Rather than take it as a bribe. And throw our all away. LI. Or better far to bide our time, Till Canada's alarms, Brings her to sue for right of way Through our New Brunswick Farms. i^ THE FEDKRATION SPlDEIl's WEB. LIT. But should e'er war's alarms be heard Round Canada's broad skirt ; New Brunswick's sons will ever be ■ Found ready and alert. LIII. Our purse, resources of all kinds, We'll gladly throw them all, Into a general fund, and fight. At the Canadians call. LIV. But freedom still we will maiintain, No serfs or slaves are we ; Wci roam in freedom o'er the land. And fearless o'er the sea. LV.* " Forget ! forgive ! all party feuds, " Cries Brown," till object's gained ; " And after Union, what betides, " Who cares, when all's obtained." LVI. His charity is great, no doubt, For Canada ; but here, We view things in a different light ; lie but excites our fear. LVII.* To section Foi'ty-Six next turn, Two languages you'll find In Legislative Halls and Courts, " Mlib." ta be combined. THE FEDERATION SPIDER's WEB. [3 LVIII. Discordant concord the result, The French will " Parlez-vous/' While English, jealous of tlieir rights, Will spout their native, too. LIX. Here is the Leaven of the Lump, AVith fermentation charged ; 'Twill burst the bands, no matter how Our borders be enlarged. LX. AVith elements discordant, then, Can you expect cohesion ? You're treading on a powder mine — A spark will cause explosion. LXL To gravitation you must add .Attraction's equal power, If you the system would prolong Beyond a fleeting hour. LXH. My hour is up, my tale's not told, I could prolong the tinead. But you will tire, should I spin out This Federation web. LXIJL Adieu ! kind reader, l)ut before We part, to meet no more, Let us return to " Ottawa" — I'll tisk it not t'Mcore. u THE FEDERATION SPlDEll S WEB. LXIY* Trace '' Ott'wa's" surging waters there, Pit emblem of this scheme ; This turbid river's confluence note With " Hochelaga's" stream. LXA^* Disunion marks its Union with St. Lawrence's azure tide ; For miles they, sep'rate rivers, run Distinct, as on they gUde — LXVI.* jyiark this same bounding river, where It takes its mighty leap ; A boihng cauldron seethes and foams, And from its bottom deep LXVll. A subterraneous passage leads, To some deep dark abyss — Never again to life is brought, Whate'er may plunge in this. Lxvin. Take warning then, in time, 1 pray, And from experience reap This lesson, for your guidance now, To " look before you Zeap." DOROTHEA DOGGEREL, Spinster, THE FEDERATION SPIDER'S WEB. 15 NOTES ON THE SEVERAL STANZAS. r. •(3). "Bytown." The former name of " Ottawa." *(12). " For Federation all run mad.^^ This seems prophetic. Doggerel, who is a bit of a gossip, has since perused a phonographic report of tne proceedings in the Legislative Council of Nova Suutia, headed, •' Address, Confederation, Hospital for Insane," in which the Hon. Mr. M' Cully, in remarking upon Section 23 of the Lieut. Governor's Speech, expressed his regret to hear " that the accommodation in the Hospital for *' the Insane at Halifax, was inadequate for the increased number of " patients. He was not aware that any great calamity had recently over- " taken the Province, to increase its Insane Population ; and regretted to " hear that this unfortunate class of people was increasing so rapidly." — Unconscious, of course, (being one of them) that he, in a great measure, was responsible for this sad state of affairs. " These same mad dogs had other dogs to bite 'em, " And BO it goes ad infinitum." *(20 and 21). In a late speech on Confederation, this delegate com- plained that a ** Red-whiskered" bearer of despatches from Washington, was treated, on ship board, with much more attention, and allowed to land, with his bag, in the mail-tender, on their arrival at Liverpool ; while he had to wait, and trudge to the Custom House. He would not yield the palm for intelligeuco ; and as for looks, if a Jury of the Fair Sex were to sit upon them, he had no doubt of the result. *(22 and 57). Resolutions of Conference. *(27). See his political address to Grand Jury. *(37). The Letter of His Grace of Halifax. *(42 and 55). Reports of speeches in Canada. ' •(64). The " Confluence" of the " Ottawa" with the " St. Lawrence," at " Montreal," Canada East. '« Hochelaga," an Indian name of Canada.. *(65). The refusal of this Western river, the Ottawa, to mingle its waters with those of the St. Lawrence, flowing thence through Canada East, is a fit emblem of English 'and French amalgamation. *(66). The Chaudi^re Falls, on the Ottawa, adjacent to the City. N. B. — The authoress trusts that her sentiments regarding Union, will not be construed as evincing a repugnance to all alliances. Notwithstand- ing her rejection of the present offer, she is open to a more eligible one ; better calculated to ensure domestic happiness. She is no misanthropic old maid, looking with affected horror upon matrimony as an unpardonable sin ; nor is she devoid of those softer feel- ings of her sex, which render them so attractive; and as to age and looks **#♦*##♦•##*♦«♦«♦*» D. D.