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CROC, '-K-- - r:, s^ f ^•••nv* *4^a*4>« "/ IForJcs of John Gait. Edited h/ D. Storrar Mddrum THE PROVOST AND THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS WITH INTRODUCTION By S. R. CROCKETT ILLUSTRATIOXS BV JOHX WALLACE VOLUME II WILLIAM BLACKWOOD AND SONS EDINBURGH AND LONDON MDCCCXCVI f!' Prtnltd by BaLLANTYNE. HaNSON & CO. At the nallatttyne Press ILLUSTRATIONS TO VOLUME II "She dang me over on my back" Frontispiece "Swirled meteor-like out of the to face page 82 room 1 ( c r t r f s Si THE LAST OF THE LAIEDS CHAPTER VIII VV HEX the T.aird had resumed his place in the Hbrary chair, I saw by his manner, and par- ticularly by the peculiar askance look he ^ave me, which was only habitual to him while under the influence of jealousy or of apprehension, that something had occurred durino his visit to the Whinny Knowes to ruffle his wonted equani- mity; but as he evidently made an effort to conceal his perturbation, I abstained from saying anything which might lead him to suppose 1 observed it —on the contrary, I remarked, with reference to the treatment he had received in his courtships, that he certainly had suffered much from the cruel hands of womankind. He again looked askance at me, and smiled for a moment, Avith a countenance as pleased and simple in its expression as the naif relaxation of sorrow on the features of a child, when indem- VOL. II. ^ THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS nified with an apple or a toy for some heartfelt affliction ; he then sa-d — " But in those days, I was better able to bear a' that and meikle mair, than within that volume of the book it written is of me, as in the words of King David, I may say, speaking specially of that volume beneath the cuff of your sleeve ; for now I'm auld, and a wee blast o' a blighting wind snools the pride o' ^ the dod- dered tree. What would ye think ? There was Caption, and Mr Angle the land-surveyor, wi' l)razen wheels within wheels, and the Nawbub (Belzebub's ower gude a name for him) direct- ing ane of his flunkies to run here wi' the chain, and there wi' the mark. They were measuring my lands— the lands o' my forefathers ! " " Not possible ! " said I, unaffectedly partici- pating in the feelings of the helpless and dispi- rited old man. '' If no better sentiment existed among them, some deference to public decorum might have restrained Rupees till che mortgages were regularly foreclosed, or at least till he had your permission." " For the j)ossibility of the trespass," replied the Laird, "I'll no undertake to argue; but for the fact, that has been proven a truth by deed o' payment." " Payment ! to what do you allude } " " I'll tell you. You see, when I beheld them around the brazen racks and torments of valua- ^ Snools. Breaks tho pride of. THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS them valua- tion, I stood still, marvelling if I wasna dream- ing the vision o' Ezekiel the prophet, and Jock, seeing me in that trance, came running in a splore o' wonder, crying, ' Odsake, Laird, if John Angle, the surveyor, hasna a loadstone watch in his curiosity, that tells the airts o' the wind ! '" The Laird's eyes at this crisis of his narrative kindled, and he became agitated with indigna- tion. "My corruption rose," said he, "and stamping wi' my foot, I said to Jock, ' How durst you let the Boar into our vineyard ? The bairns o' the town would tak but eggs, and birds, and blackberries, but Rupees and his rajahs are come to rob us o' home and ha'.' Whereupon Jock — he's as true's a dog — before the shape o' my breath was melted in the air, ran to them, and wi' the butt o' a fishing-rod he had in his hand smashed at ae blow a' their wheels o' evil prophecy into shivers, and told Caption that if he didna leave our land, he would mak sowther o' his harns ^ to mend them. Then there arose a sough and sound o' war, and rumours o' war, which caused me to walk towards them in my dignified capacity as one of his Majesty's Justices of the Peace, and I debarred them in the King's name, and with his royal authority, from trespassing on my ground — tr.impling the rising corn, doing detriment wi' their hooves to the herbage, and transgressing the bounds o' dyke and fence, to ^ Male mxvthcr o' his harns. Mak'^ ^to]flor uf his brains. I- THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS say nothing of yetts and ditches, — taking John Angle to be a witness against Rupees, and lodg- ing instruments o' protest, in the shape of a shilling, in the hands of Caption himsel, 'cause he's a notary public." " And did he take them ? " said I, not less sur- prised than astonished at such unwonted spirit and decision on the part of the Laird. *' Tak them ! he durstna refuse ; for I told him, if he did, his refusal was a thing that would make the fifteen Lords o' Embro redden on their benches." " What tht. happened ? " " It would have done your heart good to see what happened. There was Rupees slinking and sidling awa' wi' his tail atween his legs, and John Angle, wi' a rueful countenance, gathering up the catastrophes of his oglet." i "But what did Caption do .'' " " He's the seventh son of Satan, and of course, has by birth and instinct mair skill in deevilry than his father. He stood looking at me wi' a girn that was nothing short o' a smile o' de- struction, and then he said, ' Laird,' quo' he, and ye wouldna hae thought that honey could hae melted in his mouth, ' I'll say nothing of this here, but ' and wi' that he walked away. Noo, what could he mean wi' that M^ut'.'' I'm frightened for that ' but.' * But's ' an oraculous word frae the lips o' the law." ^ Oyld. The Laird means " theodolite." i I THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 5 I could not but sympathise with the poor Laird's apprehensions. Tiie character of Caption allowed of no . ibt as to the persecution which would ensue, and it was not uncharitable to think that his malicious machinations would be supported by his rich and unprincipled client. Under these feelings and that impression I aitor, ''it's a vera melancholious thing; for, as ye are baith never likely to be married, it will come to pass in the course of nature that ye'll belyve be at a time o' life when ye can neither work nor want ; and no doubt Sir Rupert v.wd liis leddy v.ill call on you to count and reckon with them for every farthing ye hae gotten o' theirs. Nothing less can be expected from their hands, after the way they were driven, in a sense, from home and hall by your ffither. I hope it wasna true, though the fact has been so said, that ye were art and part in that unpardonable iniquity and crying sin against family affection. But for all that, as the English are well known to be a people of a turn o' mind for generosity, I would 1 1 ' 12 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS be none surj)rised to hear that the baronet in- tends to be merciful. Surely, indeed, he'll never be so extortionate as to make you pay mer- chant's interest at the rate of five per cent., when it is well known ye have been getting no more than four from the bank ; and as for the wadset o' your heritable bond on the lands of Auldbiggings, there will be room to show you great leniency, for I am creditably informed that if the estate were brought to sale the morn, it wouldna pay thirteen shillings and fourpence in the pound." But notwithstanding these prophetic antici- pations, the spinsters were not molested. It could not, however, be altogether said they were allowed unquestioned possession, for Mrs Soorocks never saw them, either at church or in her visitations, without obliging them to endure the kindest inquiries concerning Sir Rupert and Lady Chandos. One morning she called on them at rather an unusual early hour with a newspaper in her hand, and a condoling spirit, most amiably expressive in the sad composure of a countenance evidently dressed for an occasion of great solemnity. "I'm in a fear, leddies," said she, "that the papers hae gotten doleful news this day for you. Hell, sirs ! but life is a most uncertain possession, and so is all worldly substance. But maybe it's no just so dreadful as is herein set forth ; but if it should be the worst, you and Miss Girzie, Miss / < \ THK LAST OF THK LAIRDS \S m Slioosie, are no destitute of a reli^^ious support ; and it never could be said that the baronet was a kind brother, tiiouj^h, for that matter, it must be alloo't no love was lost between you ; neverthe- less, decency will cause you to make an outlay for mournings, and considering the use ye have had of his money, ye oughtna to grudge it." " And what's this Job's comforting ye hae broujiht us the dav ? " said Miss (iirzie, somewhat tartly; but Mrs Soorocks, without answering her pimgent interrogation, gave the newspaper to Miss Shoosie, saying — " Ye'll find the accidence in the second claw of the third page ; see if ye think it's your gude- brother that has broken his neck." She then addressed Miss (iirzie — " And if it should be your gude-brother. Miss Girzie, really ye have much cause for thanks- giving, for the papers say he has left a power of money, over and forbye his great estates; and all goes to his only surviving child and daughter, Clara, 'ccps a jointure of three thousand pounds to his disconsolate leddy. My word, your sister lias had her ain luck in this world I Little did either o' you think, in the days o' your worthy father's austerity, that a three thousand jointure would blithen her widowhood. But I doubt. Miss (Iirzie, ye'll no can expcc her to domicile with the like of you, now when she's come to such a kingdom." Miss Shoosie having in the meantime read the w i, 14 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS .' paragraph, handed the paper to her sister, as she said — " Really, sister, it's very like the death of a baronet ; but I see no legality that he was our sister s. " What ye observe," interposed Mrs Soorocks, " is no without sense, Miss Shoosie ; and surely, if ye're treated by Lady Chandos just with a con- tempt, it's no to be thought that ye'll put more hypocrisy on your backs than ye hae in your bosoms. But, leddies, Icddies, I see a jeopardie gathering over you. Miss Claurissie, your niece, she'll have doers ; and though her mother, and her father, that the Lord has taken to himsell, scornt to molest you in this poor heritage o' Baren- braes, the doers will be constrained by law to do their duty as executioners — depend upon't, they will demand a restoration to the uttermost farthing. Maybe, and it's no unpossible, the doers may have heard of your narrow, contracted ways, and may think the money cannot be in closer hands ; but for all that, be none surprised if they come upon you like a judgment. But even shou!:! tiiey no disturb you, as m;iybe Sir Rupert may in his will have so ordered it, to show how little he regarded the beggarly inheritance of your family, ye yet daurna wile away ae plack, the which is a sore misfortune, for I doubt not, considering how light the beggar's })ock returns from your gates, that both o' you have a kind intention to give the parish a mortification. But come what may, put THE LAST OF THB^< LAIRDS 1.5 1 oil in your lamps, and be awake and ready, for .^ai it will fare ill with you if ye are found not only helpless old maids, but foolish vir^rins, when the shouts of the brideo;room are heard I mean, * when vour nieee comes to be niarried — for it's very probable that she'll be the prey o' a spend- thrift ; and if such is the Lord's pleasure, think what will become of jou then !" Such for many years had been the circum- stances and situation of the maiden sisters of liarenbraes ; still they were unmolested by any inquiry from Ens does request heard , but I ou will Doctor, not a om his iment." of late lous of fce aver- M ■-■ai. THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 23 m sion which such indecent haste must universally provoke. He may yield to shame what he would refuse to virtue." " Does the matter so press that it may not stand over till my return .''" " So special a question, Doctor, I cannot an- swer ; I am not acquainted with the actual state of the poor old gentleman's circumstances. It is only notorious that he is in the power of his creditors, and that the Nabob shows no disposition to mitigate the severity which the law perhaps enables him to inflict." The Doctor appeared to be somewhat embar- rassed : lie looked upon the floor; he felt if his neckcloth was in prf)per order ; he bit his left thumb, and gathered his brows into a knot, which indicated the predominancy of the earthy portion of his nature in the oscillations of his religion, his reason, and his heart. 1 looked at him steadily, but his eye was downcast, not shunning the inquisition of mine, but with that sort of fixedness which the outward organ assumes when the spirit looks inward. For some short space of time — it might be as long as it would take one to count a dozen — he remained thoughtful and austere. He then began to move his foot gently, and he glanced his eye aside towards me. There was sternness in the first glance ; in the second the lustre of manly gene- rosity, which in the third was dimmed with a Christian's tear, and he covered his face with his .» •I I .4, .1 k i I! 1.' U'' 24 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS hands as he said witli emotion, *' How true hath been my mother's j)ropheey ! The cruel, selfish, arrogant man, whose all of worth lay in the earth aiul turf of his inheritance, has - I forget myself, no ; he has not yet supplicated the help of those in whose beggary he so exulted." After a brief })ause, and having wij)ed his eyes and forehead, he turned round to me and said, with a lighter tone, — " I will })()stp()ne my journey for another day, and taki a pledge in doing so from good fortune to provide me with a seat in the next mail. But 1 fear you overrate my influence with Mr Rupees ; nevertheless, the task is one which I feel may not be omitted, and I will do my best endeavour to persuade him to pursue a course of mercy. There have been things, sir, which make this duty one hard to be undertaken ; but, thank God, the sense of what my character as a minister of the Gospel requires is livelier in motive than th^ resentful remembrance of early affliction." It was accordingly agreed that he should visit Mr Rupees in the morning, and I soon after took my leave. m s I t': !1 1" i il 1 CHAPTER XI -^AFTFiR rjuittiii<:; the Manse, I returned towards the jiath by \vliieli I liad crossed tlie fields in the niornintf. Tiiis course led nie to pass the ^ate of Auldbi<^f^in i if- 86 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS I ■ t !! \i ^1; 1 r' presently he be«?aii to sift me witli a curious sinister subtlety peculiar to hiniself. "This is fine weather for a sober dauner," said he, as I went up to him. " And whare will ye walk in a path o* mair pleasantness than the road atween your house and the Place ? No that I would misliken the way to the Manse now and then, especially in the fall of the year, when the yellow leaf tells of our latter end, and the wind howls in the tree like a Burgher minister hallylooying about salvation." " LIpon my word, John, you spiritualise a walk to the Manse as ingeniously as the Doctor him- self could do." " Ah ! isna Dr Lounlans a capital preacher ? — isna he a great gun .'' He's the very Mons Meg o' the presbytery." " And yet, John, I understand that the Laird has no particular esteem for the Doctor." " Gentlemen are nae great judges o' preach- ing," said Jock; "it wouldna hae been fair o' Providence to hae allowt them both the blessings o' religion and the good things o' this world ; and so the Laird, being a true gentleman by birth and brt ..ding, is by course o' nature no a crowder o' kirks." " But I should have expected that such a faith- ful servant as you are, John, would have been of the same way of thinking as your master." " In temporalities — in temporalities I'm a passive obedient ; but in the controvei*sy with -a: I if 'I Laird m ^a THE LAST OF THK LAIRDS 27 the auld tyrant that is called Diabolus, a name which the \vci■ ■t 1^ ,v ^.' i f \:\ 28 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS mistaken. Dr Lounlans feels for the situation of your master as a gentleman and a Christian ought to do." " As a Christian — as a Christian he may ; but will he pacify the Nabob ? " It was plain from this incidental expression that the cunning creature had been informed by his master of the object of my ^ isit to the Manse, and that notwithstanding the repugnance shown by the old gentleman at the idea of being obliged to the Doctor, he was yet anxious to obtain his mediation. It may be in suj)posing such mean- ness I do him wrong, but ti:at his servant had no scruples on the subject was quite manifest, for, in reply to my assurances that the Doctor was not only distressed by Avhat had taken place, but had undertaken to interj)ose with Mr Rupees to avert litigation and to suspend this annoying survey of the estate, which I the more particu- larly explained, in order that it might be reported to the Laird, he sa^'d — " It would hae been an unco thing had he refus't it, for he has baith the spiritual motives of Christian duty and the carnal spite of upstart pride to egg him on ;— but whether it be the minister or the mere man that leads captive cap- tivity, I'll sing with thankfulness — - ' Behold how good a thing- it is, And how becoining well, Together such as brethren are In unity to dwell.' " l\ THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 2<) " But, John," said I, " what is the true cause of the animosity between the l^aird and the Dot-tor ? I cannot think that the roupin*]^ out of Mrs Lounlans, tliough a very harsh proceedin«r, could have occasioned feehngs of such deep and durable resentment. There must have been some other cause." " Cause, cause ! there was nae cause at a'. If courting a young widow by lawful means be a cause, that was the cause. Ye see, the short and the lang o't is this, as no young gentleman's education can be properly finished till he has broken in on the ten commandments, the Laird, after the burial of John Lounlans, threw a sheep's e'e at the bonnie widow, as she was called, and thought to win her love by course o' law, for her gudeman died deep in his debt. But Whereas is an ill-farr'd beginning to a billydoo ; so ye see, Mrs Lounlans, instead o' being won to amorous delights by multiplepoinding, grew demented ; and taking the doctor-minister, who was then a three-year auld bairn and orphan, by the hand, she stood in the kirk-stile — the better day the better deed— it was on a Sabbath — and there she made sic a preaching .and paternoster about a defenceless widow and fatherless l)abies, that when our Laird was seen coming to the kirk, soberly an{ 1 d ecent ly, linl. kniir wi his ledd V mother tl le weans in the crowd set uj) a shout ; aiu? he was torn frae her side, and harlt ^ through mire and ^ llarlt. Drawn violently. "i\ J m! 30 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS (i*; ! I- :\ f III midden dub, to the great profanation of the Lord's day, and the imminent danger of his precious Hfe. For mair than a month he was thought beyont the power o' a graduwa,i and his leddy mother, before the year was done, diet o' the tympathy or a broken heart. But how the Doctor should hate our Laird for that hobbleshaw, I ne'er could understand, for the Laird was the ill-used man." Before I had time to make any comment on this affair, we were joined by the indefatigable Mrs Soorocks, returning from the Place. She did not appear, by the aspect of her countenance, to have been so successful in her voluntaiy mission as I had been in mine ; but I could nt . crtheless discover that she had not altogether failed, and that she had something to tell ; for immediately on coming up, she took me by the arm and was leading me away, when she happened to observe the work in which Jock was employed. "Goodness me!" she exclaimed, pausing and looking back at him, " no wonder poor feckless Auldbiggings is brought to a morsel — sic ser- vants as he has ! As I hae my een, the wasterfu' creature's feeding the bird wi' minched coll 'i)r- — worms are ower gude for't — and he's cran? ming them down its throat wi' his finger ! For shame, ye cruel ne'er-do-weel — ye'll choke the puir beast." What answer Mrs Soorocks got for her med- dling it may not be fitting to place upon im- ^ Graduwa. Graduate. 'l< I I « < I THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 31 mortal record ; but she observed, when she had recovered her complexion and countenance, as we were moving away, that Jock was a real curi- osity. " He's just what Solomon would hae been wi' a want, for his proverbs and parables are most extraordinar ! " I and M im- I >1 I : Mm M I CHAPTER XII IMRS SOOROCKS' road homeward lying aside from the path across the fields, I was obliged in civility to accompany her along the highway and to forego my intention of taking the more seques- tered course : not that she probably would have scrupled to have gone with me in any direction I might have proposed, but the public road was the shortest way to her residence. When the tasks of politeness are not agreeable, it is judicious to abridge their duration— a philosophical maxim worthy of particular attention whenever you under- take to see an afflicting old lady safely home. When we had passed some twenty paces or so from the entrance to the avenue of Auldbigginos, my companion began to repeat the result of her mission by complaining of the fiimiliarity with which the Laird allowed himself to be treated by his man. "When I went into the room, there was the two," said she, " holding a controversy about your mediation wi' Dr Lounlans, and Jock was arele- bargling wi' his master, like one having authority over him, the which to see and to hear was, to sav 22 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS your I 3- i the least o't, a most seditious example to the natural audacity of servants. It's true that when Jock saw me he drew in his horns (for the crea- ture's no without a sense o' discretion in its ain way), and left tlie cliamber ; but it's plain to me that yon is an ill-rulit household, and were it no a case of needcessity and mercy, I dinna think I ouffht to hae the conscience to advise the leddies o' Barenbraes to hae ony thing to say till't." " Then you have made some progress with the Laird ? " " I hae made an inceesion, but no to a great length. For what do you think is the auld fool's objection ? He's in a doot if either o' the leddies be likely to bring him a posterity." *' A very grave and serious objection indeed ; considering the motive by which you have been so kindly actuated, it could not but surprise you." " Surprise ! na, I was confounded, and said to him, 'Mr Mailings,' quo' I, 'my purpose o' mar- riage for you, at your time o' life and in your strait- ened circumstances, ought to hae something more rational in view than the thoughts of a posterity.' But Miss Shoosie's no past the power o' a miracle even in that respeck ; for Sarah, ye ken, was four- score before she had wee Isaac, and the twa-and- fifty mystery o' the Douglas Cause should teach you to hae some faith in the ability of Miss Girzie, who to my certain knowledge was only out of her forties last Januar, for I saw their genealogy in their big Bible. It was lying on the tfible when VOL. II. c 'U I ■ r • ■i IV ■' 1 ■1 • ■I ' t ! ' r i, ♦ V! ' f 34 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS I called at Barenbraes on Sabbath, and neither o' the leddies being in the room, I just happened to observe that twa leaves at the ouginning were pinned thegither, nae doot to hide some few o' the family secrets. Gude forgie me ! I couldna but tak out the prin, and you may depend upon it that Miss Girzie was just nine-and-forty last Januar. But I couldna advise him to hae ony- thing to say to Miss Girzie, and so I told him." " What do you mean ? I have never heard of aught to her prejudice — I have always, indeed, understood that she was the most amiable of the two." "Nae great sang in her praise. But amiable here or amiable there is no a thing to be thocht o', for it's no a marriage o' felicity that we're to speed, but a prudent marriage ; and would it no be the height o' imprudence for a man to lay hands on the wally draig ^ when he has it in his power to catch a better bird .'' " " I do not exactly understand you, Mrs Soo- rocks, for if there is any superiority possessed by the one sister over the other, you allow that Miss Girzie has it." '' I alloo of no such thing — and were the Laird to marry her, what's to prevent some other needfu' gentleman (and when were they plentier ?) frac making up to Miss Shoosie — she is the old sister, ye forget that — wouldna deil-bc-lickit be the portion o' the younger couple .'' No, no, if ^ Wally draig. The youngest bird in the nest. THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 35 Auldbiggings is to marry any o' them, it shall be Miss Shoosie. It would be a tempting o' Provi- dence if he did otherwise." " But, my dear madam, are you not proceeding a little too fast in thus disposing of the leddies without consulting them ? Should you not ascer- tain how far either of them may be inclined to encourage the Laird's addresses ? " " What can it signify to consult them, if it be ordained that the marriage is to take place ? But if I hadna seen the auld idiot so set upon a pos- terity, it was my intent and purpose to have gane ower to Barenbraes the morn's morning, and given Miss Shoosie an inkling of what was in store for her. But the matter's no ripe enough yet for that." "The growth, however, has been abundantly rapid ; and I am sure, Mrs Soorocks, that whatever may be the upshot, the whole business hitherto does equal credit to your zeal and intrepidity." " It is our duty," replied the worthy lady seriously, "to help ane anither in this howling wilderness. And noo may I speer what speed ye hae come wi' Doctor Lounlans ? for Auldbiggings told me that he Lad debarred you from going near him, the which, of course, could only serve to make you the mair in earnest wi' the wark. I'm shure a debarring would hae done so to me, though ye're no maybe the fittest person that might hae undertaken it. But weakly agents aften thrive in the management of great affairs. 'I I I : I. ,;^J; I : ! ■n^^ 36 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS and if ye hae succeeded with the Doctor, I hope ye'll be sensible of the help that must have been with you — not that your task was either a hard or a heavy ane, for the Doctor is a past ordinar young man — but there's a way of conciliation very requisite on such occasions. Howsomever, no doot ye did your best, and I hope the Doctor has con- sented to pacify the Nabob." " Whether he may be able to succeed is perhaps doubtful," said L " And if he should fail," cried the lady, inter- rupting me, " I'll then try what I can do mysell ; in the meantime, it's a comfort to think he has promised, for really the circumstances o' poor Auld- biggings require a helping hand ; — weel indeed may I call him poor, for it's my opinion he hasna ae bawbee left to rub upon anither." "But the promise," said I, "was given under circumstances which make it doubly valuable. You are probably aware, though I had not heard of it before, that the Doctor is on the eve of marriage }" " Going to be married, and none of his parish ever to have heard a word about it ! I think it's a very clandestine-like thing o' him. And whare is he going, and wha's he to marry ? She canna be a woman o' a solid principle to })e woo'd and won as it were under the clouds o' the night." " The Doctor and the lady, madam, I am per- suaded have been long acquainted." " I dinna doot that, and intimately too," replied THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS .'^7 II Mrs Soorocks insinuatingly. " But whatna corner o' the earth is he bringing her frae ? We'll a' be scrupulous about her till we ken what she is." " I do not question the prudence of the parish in that respect ; but, if I understood him right, she resides in Warwickshire." " In Warwickshire ! that's a heathenish part o' England. And so Madam o' the Manse to be is an Englishwoman, and of course o' a light morality, especially for a minister's wife. She'll be a calamity to the neighbourhood, for it will be seen that she'll bring English servant lasses among us to make apple-pies and wash the doorsteps on the Lord's day, as I am creditably told a' the English do. But did ye say Warwickshire } Lady Chandos and her dochter, the heiress by right o' Barenbraes, they live in Warwickshire ; oughtna we to get her sisters, the leddies, to open a cor- respondence wi' her concerning the minister's | e- latical bride — for she canna be otherwise than o' the delusion o' the English liturgy and prelacy ; and if neither o' them will write, I'll write mysell, for it's a duty incumbent on us all to search into the hiddenness of this ministerial mystery. War- wickshire ! I canna away wi't — the very sound o't flew through the open o' my hoad like a vapour. Weel indeed may I say that it's a mystery, for noo when I think o't, the vera first time that Dr Lounlans drank his tea wi' me — it was the after- noon o' the third day after his placing — he speer't in a most particular manner about the leddies of lit! I i 1 !iV 38 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS ai Barenbraes, and how it came to pass that they keepit no intercourse by correspondence \vi' Lady Chandos. But is't no wonderfu' that I never thought, then nor since syne, o' speering at him about what he ken't o' her leddyship ? Surely I hae been bewitclied, and mine eyes Winded with glamour, for I sat listening to him like an innocent lamb hearkening to the shepherd's whistle. But I hae always thought there was a providence in that marriage of Lady Chandos, for she was an excellent and sweet lassie ; and now it has come to pass that she may be a mean to guard her native land, and her heritage too, against the consequence of the manifest indiscretion o' Dr Lounlans' never-to-be-heard-tell-o' connection." During this harangue, I endeavoured several times to arrest the progress of the good lady's suspicion and the growth of her conviction that the Doctor's marriage must be in some way de- rogatory to his character and pestilent to his parish ; but it was all in vain ; my arguments only riveted her opinion more and more, until, wearied with the controversy, I bade her adieu, ungallantly leaving her to find the path to Baren- braes alone, whither she determined forthwith to proceed, "before it might be too late." V \ CHAPTER XIII I ^xLTHOUGH I did not expect to see Dr Loun- lans until after his interview with the Nabob, nor was under any apprehension of a visitation from Mrs Soorocks, and liad predetermined not to call on the Laird without being able to carry with me some consolatory tidiness, I yet rose an hour earlier than usual next morning, and felt very much as those feel who have many purposes to perform. This particular activity was ingeniously ac- counted for by Mr Tansie, the parish schoolmaster, who in passing by happened to observe me at breakfast an hour before my accustomed time ; and the parlour window being open that I might enjoy the fragrance of the sweetbriar which grows beneath it, he came forward and complimented me on the good health which such solacious par- ticipation in the influences of the season (as he called it) assuredly indicated. The worthy dominie was generally known among us as the Philo, a title bestowed on him by one of his own pupils, which, not inaptly, described about as much of the philosophical character as he really possessed. I was no stranger 39 i ti 40 THE LAST OF TilK LAIRDS h to his peculiar notions, for we have often had many arguments to T l^j '^ lii 52 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS No : gude be thankit, and my marriage articles, I'm no just sae forlorn. It's vera true that, in the way of neighbourliness, I hae a great regard for Mr Mailings, and that the twa innocent auld damsels are far-off connections of mine, with whom I hae lived on the best o' terms ; but regard's no affection, and connections are neither flesh nor blood : moreover, there's an unco odds atween doing a service and becoming a slave, as the blithe days that I spent with my dear deceased husband have well instructed me to know. I own we had our differences like other happy couples, for Mr Soorocks had a particular temper ; but knowir^ what I know, it would be a temp- tation indeed that would bribe me to ware my widowhood on another man, especially one of an ineffectual character, like the helpless bodie that's sae driven to the wall." At this crisis of our conversation we were interrupted by one of the Nabob's servants with a note, requesting, in the most urgent manner, to see me. However ill-timed, as Mrs Soorocks said it was, I was yet glad at the message, and indeed feigned more alacrity than I felt in obey- ing it and in wishing her good morning. (- .1 .1 i *( h I. ( M: (' .51 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS tected from the inroads of the cattle by palisades of split Scotch fir, connected by new rough-sawn rafters of the same material. In the distance, not- withstanding the metamorphoses which the moss had undergone, I recognised my old acquaintances the venerable ash-trees, which had surrounded and overshadowed the ancestral cottage of the Burrah Sahib, now serving as a screen to a rid- ing-house, framed of timber, and tinted with a mixture of tar and ochre into a mulligatawny complexion. The court of offices occupied the foreground between the Hippodrome and the Burrah-ghur. They were in the purest style of classic archi- tecture. Whether the plan was suggested to the Nabob by that delicate discrimination, and that exquisite feeling of propriety in art, for which Mr Threeper of Athens, his legal adviser, is so justly celebrated, or was procured for him by his maternal relative, a prosperous gentleman, Archibald Thrum, Esq., of Yarns, and manufac- turer in Clisgow, from the Palladio of the northern Venice, I have never been able satis- factorily to ascertain ; but the pile was worthy alike of this Venice and of that Athens, for in looking in at the gate, a copy of the triumphal Arch of Constantine, you beheld the cows tied to Corinthian pillars, looking out of Venetian windows. The Burrah-ghur, or mansion of the Burrah Sahib, was a splendid compilation of whatever r ' ; THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS no has been (Iccmed elecjant in antique, curious in Gothic, or gorgeous in Oriental architecture. It was a volume of Elegant Extracts, a bouquet of the art as rich and various as those hospitable hecatombs of the cities on the banks of Clutha, amidst which, according to the veracious descrif>- tions of Dr Peter Morris of Abervstwith, the haggis and blanc-niange are seen shuddering at each other. There a young artist might have nourished his genius with a greater variety of styles and combinations than the grand tour, with an excursion to dreece and Stamboul, could have supplied. Instead of a knocker or bell, a gong of the Celestial Empire hung in a niche within the verandah, at the sound of which, the folding doors "self opened, On golden hinges turning." On entering the vestibule, a Kitmagar, who was squatted on his hams in a corner on a mat, rose to receive me : he placed his palms together, touching his forehead three times with his thumbs, bowed to the ground, and then standing upright, pronounced in a voice of homage, " Salaam Sahib." He was habited in a kind of shirt of blue cloth, with long open sleeves, and bound round the loins with a blue and yellow rope. On his head he wore a turban shaped like a puddock- stool, and trimmed with yellow cloth and gold lace. His wide silk drawers hung down to the S 'i ft ' o6 THE LAST OF THE LALRDS 1 «^ H I ground, and his slippers, embroidered with silver, looked up in the toes, like other vain things in the pride of splentlour. I inquired for his master, and with a second salutation as solemn as the first, hi replied, '' Hah Sahib," and showed me i'lto a room, one entire end of which was occupied with a picture repre- senting a tiger-hunt, in the foreground of which, seated on the back of an elephant, I discovered a juvenile likeness of Mr Rupees ; and in the background an enormous tiger, almost as big as a Kilkenny cat, was returning into the jungle with a delicate and dandyish otficey of the Govef|ior's guard in his mouth. When I had some time admired this historical limning, another Oriental conducted me to the library door, where, taking off his slippers, he ushered me into the presence of the Burrah Sahib. The room was darkened according to the Indian dhustoor, and from the upper end, by the bubbling of a hookah, I was apprised that there the revelation was to take place. On approaching the shrine, I beheld the Vishnu of Nawaubpore, garmented in a jacket, waistcoat, and trousers of white muslin, with nankeen shoes — his head was bald to the crown, but the most was made of what little grey hair remained on his temples by combing it out ; that which covered the back of his head was tied in a long slender tapering tail. He lolled in an elbow-chair, his feet supported on I I I I) THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS the back of another, before which stood his Punkah-wall .h, cooling his lower regions with a gigantic palm-leaf fan, while the Hookah- burdhar was trinnning the seerpoos in the rear. On hearing nie announced, the Nabob started to his feet, and shook me in the most cordial manner by the hand, thanked me for my alacrity in attending his summons, anil "before tiffin" proposed to conduct me in person through his ghur, modest'y intimating that he did not expect me altogether to approve of the prodigality of his tradesmen ; at the same time insinuating that, for himself, he was a man of plain habits and particularly fond of old-fashioned simplicity. a ;l 11 . ,i ( 1 1 r f V. ■l> 1 I i 1*1 ; '1 » M 1 i , 1 1 ■ i ' > 1 i 1 I: i CHAPTER XVI JriAVING perambulated the magnificent intri- cacies and chambers of Navvaubpore, praising, of course, to the utmost all I saw — for which may Ood forgive me ; but this is an age much addicted to hypocrisy, and the purest minds are necessarily tainted by the spirit of the times. Carving and gilding everywhere appeared in such profusion that no room was left for taste. The furniture was numerous, cumbrous, and ex- cessive, and interspersed with it, above, below, and all around lay a miscellaneous assemblage of splendid nicknackery, like those relics and remnants of curiosities which remain in the hands of an auctioneer after he has disposed of whatever is valuable or really curious in the executor- ordered sale of a virtuoso's collection. Pictures by such artists as Zoffani covered the walls, purchased, however, at Tulloh's saleroom in Calcutta, at a price which, if told to Mr Peele, would make him chuckle at the bargain he got of the Chapeau Faille : Derbyshire-spar vases, plaster busts, French clocks, interestingly orna- mental, but deranged in their horal faculties ; 5a f THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 59 Dresden china swains and shepherdesses ; models, by Hindoo artists, of gates and pagodas ; two verd anti(jue pillars on castors in the dining-room atoned for supporting nothing by being hollow, and containing within post-coenobitical utensils ; feather fans, Pekin mandarins, Flemish brooms, musical snuff-boxes, large china jars, japanned cabinets, spacious mirrors, and icicled lustres ; all so dis- posed to produce the utmost (juantum of confusion witli the least possible contribution to comfort. TifKn was served in the breakfast-room. It consi-ted of cold meats, hot curries, mulliga- tawny soup, kabobs, pillaws, and a fowl fried with onions to a cinder, bearing the brave name of country captain; ale (Hodson's of course), claret, genuine from the vaults of Carbonelle, and the far-famed Madeira, so fatal to the poor Laird, which, according to his account, had been sixteen years in a wood in the Bay of Bengal. Our conversation in the meantime was various and desultory, so much so that I began to wonder for what purpose my presence had been so urgently requested at Nawaubpore, and for what object I was treated 'vith such distinguished consideration, till I happen* to fill myself a glass of Madeira while partaking of the currie. " My good friend," said the Nabob in a tone of alarm, placing his hand on my arm to restrain me, " do you mean to make a suttee of yourself ? But I need not be surprised at you doing such a thing, for I have seen a candidate for the Direc- 1 1 11 V ^ Vf' M •Jt' T' • I r ^! ()0 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS tion, and a successful one too, do tlie very same tiling. Need we wonder at the blunders in the govennnent of India when we meet with such ignorance of Indian affairs among the ghuddahs of Leadenhall Street? The Paugul was a Cockney banker ; do you know, he was so absurd as to ask me across the table— it was in the London Tavern — his Majesty's Ministers were present — whether the Coolies carried the Dhoolies, or the Dhoolies the Coolies ! One of the Ministers looked signifi- cantly at me, and said that he believed it was a doubtful question ; but another who sat next me whispered that if, like the Court of Directors, they got on in any way, it mattered little which was beast and which burden. By-the-bye, it was on the same occasion that the pious member of the Durbah stated, and to me too, the singular progress and great fruits which had blessed the labours of the missionaries in the East. ♦ D — n the blessing,' said I — I begged his lordship's pardon for the damn — * they have only taught a dozen or two pariah soors to eat beef and drink as much rum as they can steal.'— 'That, however,* said another Minister, whom I observed particu- larly attentive to my remark, ' that, however, is a step in the progress of wants ; ' and he added, * having once accjuired a desire for beef and rum, their industry will thence be stimulated to obtain these luxuries, and a superior morality will be gradually evolved by the consequent cultivation of industry.' - 'The stealing of which you speak. V 'li i THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 61 is something like the turbidness of fermentation, a natural and necessary stage in the process of refinement, which will produce wine or vinegar, as the case may be,' replied I ; upon which another of them interposed mildly, saying, ' I am quite sure that by the late reduction of the duty on wine, a reduction in the consumption of ardent spirits must supervene, and that the change will be salutary to the best interests of our Indian population.' " By this time the Nabob had bestowed so much of his tediousness upon me that I here attempted to break the thread of his discourse ; but although I did so with all my wonted address, he was on a subject congenial to the Indian temperament — the sayings and doings of great men — and he would not be interrupted, for, without noticing my impatience, which he ought to have done, he continued — " There was another Peshwa, who had par- ticular views of his own for what he called the amelioration of Indian society ; the principle of his plan was by a transfusion of a jjortion of the redundant piety of the United Kingdom into what he called the arterial ramifications of Oriental mythology " At this crisis one of the servants entered with the customary salaam, and said something in his own language to the Burrah Sahib, who answered him abruptly, '' Hemera bhot bhot salaam do doosera kummera recdo bolo;" and turning to ! V > 1 .||> i) ) (♦- I ( 1" .! . 62 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS H 1 1 me, he added, " Padre Lounlans sent a chit this morning to say he would call on me about the affairs of that d — d sirdar Paugul the Laird, and I wish to consult you before seeing him. The murderous old dacoit and his Jungle- wallah of a servant, while I was only ascertaining whether or not he had cheated me in the extent of his estate, on which 1, like a fool, have advanced twice as much money as I dare say it is worth, charged upon me like a brace of Mahrattas, and with a lump of a lattee smashed my surveyor's theodolite. Mr Caption, my vakeel, is ready to take his oath before a magistrate (if he has not done it already) that they were guilty of assault and battery, against the laws of this and every other well- governed realm; inasmuch as, on the 19th of the present month of June, or on some day or night of that month, or on some day or night of the month of May preceding, or of July following, they did, with malice aforethought, thump, beat, batter, bruise, smash, break, and otherwise inflict grievous bodily injury on one theodolite. But not to waste our time now on the law of the case, I have no doubt that the Padre is sent to negotiate a treaty. Now, do you think that where a Rajah has an undisputable right to a Zemindary, and the Kilhdar resists his authority in the persons of his army and artillery (I mean Caption, Angle, and his theodolite), the Rajah ought not to tuck him up, as was done at Faluari in the business of the Deccan ? By-the-bye, the delay in the payment i : THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 63 of the Deccan prize-money is too bad ; had my friend old Frank suspected such proceedings, he ^vould have made a drum-head division of the loot. I remember when I was attached to the Resi- dency at Rumbledroog, about thirty years ago, a detachment, under the command of my friend Jack Smith, stormed a hill-fort where he found considerable treasure ; so he told the paymaster to make out a scale, and all the coined money was first divided, and then the bullion and jewels were weighed and measured out. Jack got two quarts of rings, which were picked off by the drum-boys from the toes of the ladies of the Zenana in the glorious moment of victory ; but the d — d lootwallah of a paymaster slyly cribbed a large diamond, which immediately touched him I suppose with the liver complaint, for he soon after gave in his resignation on that pretext, and sailed for Europe. On reaching London, he went immediately into Parliament, and has ever since been presiding at missionary meetings and Bible societies, and be d — d to him ! " At this pause I interposed and reminded the Nabob that Dr Lounlans was waiting. " True, true," said he, " I had forgotten him ; but old stories, and anything like fraud or oppres- sion, make me forget myself and neglect my own affairs. Had it not been for the warmth and gene- rosity of my feelings in that way when I was at — Devil take it ! I am at it again ; let us go at once and hear what the Padre has got to say." il \ 1 y 1 ■iji M '^ I ••i I'- ll !'•' i I? CHAPTER XVII _L HE Nabob bustled on before me to the room where Dr Louiilans was waitiiifr, and leaving me to follow, went forward and received the reverend gentleman with a hearty jocular urbanity. " Warm weather. Doctor, this," said he ; " never felt the heat more oppressive in Bengal, except a day or two during the hot winds, but even there you can keep it out by means of tatties, you know. Here, in Europe, we are still vei*y far behind. Houses are very good for winter and wet weather, not at all adapted for the summer climate ; but when I have once got Nawaubpore in proper order, I'll make my own climate, as the Nawaub of Lucknow told Lord Wellesley — I'll have a sub- terranean parlour for the hot season. But hadn't you better take some sherbet or a glass of sangaree, after your walk } My aubdaar will cool it for you with a whole seer of salt})etre ; for my icehouse has gone wrong, you know, by the mason lead- ing the drain of the washhouse through it, like a d — d old fool as he was. — I beg your pardon, Doctor." Dr Lounlans had evidently prepared himself 04 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 65 for the interview : his manner was dry, cold, and almost repulsive, as he said, " No offence to me," dwelling emphatically on the last word, and adding — " The business, Mr Rupees, which has induced me to postpone a journey until I could see your- self is very urgent, and I hope it is convenient to let me proceed with it." The Nabob was somewhat taken aback at the abruptness of this commencement ; but, signifi- cantly winking to me, requested the Doctor to be seated ; and, throwing himself down on a sofa, he lifted up one of his legs upon it, and said, " I am all attention. Doctor." Prepared as the young pastor was for his under- taking, this nonchalance somewhat disconcerted him, but he soon recovered his self-possession, and replied — " When I came into this parish, I understood that Mr Mailings, your neighbour, was one of your most particular friends." " Well, and what of that ? " " And now I understand," resumed the minister, "that without any fault on his side, but only the misfortune of having borrowed your money, you have instituted proceedings against him of un- usual severity." " Well, and what then ? " responded the Nabob, winking at me. "Such rigour, in such a case," replied the Doctor, "cannot, Mr Rupees, have proceeded VOL. II. E ! V i|.v 1 . , ' i w li. iM •X (' ( ,( ■1 1 [• h \4 66 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS from the dictates of your own feelings, but must be the effect of advice, in which your long absence from the usages of your native land has been employed as much to the disparagement of the goodness of your own heart, as to the prejudice of the solitary old man, your unfortu- nate debtor." The Nabob, putting down his foot, and assum- ing an erect posture, looked a little more re- spectfully towards the Doctor, as he said with cordiality — " I suppose, Doctor, you think that the people of India are less liberal than those of Europe, but they are a d — d sight more so — I beg your pardon. Doctor. For myself, I never ]iretended to be a philaiithropist, but I have often given fifty gold mo ars to an officer's widow, when people of the same rank in Europe would have thought a guinea prodigal. In this very case, did not I lend the old Guddah £3000 at four per cent, when Consols were .it 73, and when I might have had ten in Calcutta from my friend David, bear as he is ? " " Your kindness in that respect, certainly," re- plied Dr Lounlans, *^ is not to be disputed ; but to exact a repayment at this particular time is turning your former favour into a misfortune." " Who says so }" exclaimed the Nabob, re- suming his recumbent posture on the sofa. " I have not yet asked for my money, though the last half-year's interest has not been paid." THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS ()7 "1 the " Then you are unjustly sufferin*^ in public opinion, for it is universally reported that you have given instructions to your man of business to demand repayment, and in the event of re- fusal — the poor debtor must of necessity refuse — it is als(> reported that you liave ordered every measure of law to bring his estate to sale at this time, when it is morally certain that it will not sell for half its worth." '' Dr Lounlans," said the Nabob, looking loung- ingly over his shoulder, and then winking at me, '* The worth of anTthinsr Is just whatever it will bring." The Doctor turned to me with dismay in hi.s countenance. He was conscious that argument could make no impression, and apprehensive that entreaty would prove equally ineffectual ; but nevertheless he again addressed the Nabob, in a firmer tone, however, than he had hitherto employed, — '' Sir, such proceedings are not in unison with the feelings of this country. Mr Mailings is the representative of an ancient family ; the habits and affections of the people of Scotland are still strongly disposed to take the part of a man of his condition when he suffers from oppression." "They were," replied the Nabob drily; ' but now, I suspect, they are quite as well disposed to esteem those who, by their own merits, have made their own fortunes, and have brought home 1>[ U 1 1 :i. *l m i * '1 I I- * U jii. i 1 1: 1 i ■| li. .1 n il N " li ■T ^' s, II r i.\ I < 68 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS from other countries the means of improving their native land. I have myself spent more money here, I)r Lounlans, on Nawaubj)ore, than all that the Mailings, since the Ragman's Roll, have had to spend, whether got by thieving in days of yore, or by rack-rents and borrowing in our own time." " But, sir," replied the young minister fervently, " the day is yet fur distant, and I hoj)e will long remain so, when the honest people of Scotland will look tamely on and see mere wealth and ostentation treading down their ancient gentry." " Ay, honest ! Ah ! that's but a small portion of the nation, even including the General As- sembly of the Church and the College of Justice. But if they were as numerous as the daft and the imbecile, who, you will allow, are not to seek among gentry of the landed interest, as, indeed, in my opinion, they constitute the majority of the nation at large ; for you know that every man of sense and talent seeks his fortune abroad, and leaves only the incapable and those who are conscious of their deficiencies at home " Apprehensive that the conversation might become a little too eagerly pointed, I here in- terposed, and said, to turn aside the sarcasm which I saw Dr Lounlans was preparing to launch, " Your observation, Mr Rupees, explains to me why it is so difficult to give any correct exhibition of Scottish manners without bringing Tom o' Bedlams on the stage. In the Parliament House of Edinburgh you may see " u: THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS G9 " I beg, sir," said I)r Loiml.ins, iiitei'niptin;:^ mc, " I beg your pardon. Am I then to understand, Mr Rupees, that you are determined to persevere in your rigorous proceedings ? " " I intend to do no more than the law permits me to do. I will do nothing contrary to law ; and if there is any rigour in the case, the fault is in the law, not in me." " But," replied the Doctor, " consider public opinion." " D — n public oj)inion," responded the Nabob — " I beg your pardon. Doctor." " But, Mr Rupees, reflect on the prosj)erity with which it has pleased Heaven to crown your endeavours." "Well, sir." A short pause here intervened, as if the Doctor felt in some degree deterred from proceeding ; but presently he rallied and replied, " The same Power that has filled your cup to overflowing, hath seen meet to empty that of your ill-fated neighbour, and you should " " Should ! " interrupted the Nabob sharply ; " would you have me fly in the teeth of Provi- dence .'' " It was now evident that, notwithstanding the popular eloquence and many excellent qualities of the Rev. Doctor, he was not possessed of stamina sufficient to stand a contest with a character of so much energy as the Nabob, whose original strength of mind had been case-hardened in the fiery trials J < J ) i^ I ^ S ' i: THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS f^ ! t Ji L|i, I of Indian emulation and ambition, and whose occasional liberality sj)rung more from ostentatitMi and the feeliri now, in your maturer years and riper judgment, choose for yourself? '.rhcrc, for example now, are the ladies of Barenbraes, excellent gentle- women, rich, and of the purest character ; — could you, Mr Mailings, do better than make up to one of them, and thereby obtain a careful and kind companion, and free yourself from the thraldom of the Nabob's oj)pression ? " " That meddling woman Mrs Soorocks was here yestreen, on ane o' her sympatheezing visitations, and really spoke sensible on the vera same head ; but ye know that baith the sisters are past the power o' posterity, which is an ob- jection, even if my heart didna tell me that I ne'er could like either the tane nor the tither o' them : they're no for a man that likes a free house and a fu' measure ; a' might be pushon that's aboon the plook wi' them,i and that, ye ken, wad never do for the hospitable doings o' the house o' Auldbiggings." " Laird, better small measure than no drink. " " That's a gude truth ; but Miss Shoosie's very ordinar, and Miss Girzie ne'er was bonnie at the thochts o' either o' them. " I grue ^ Scotch pint-stoups, before the reformation of the imperial measure, were made to liold something more than the standard quantity ; but at the point of the true measure a i^imiW papilla or plook projected, the space between which and the brim was left for an ad libitum, an exercise of liberality on the part of vintners and other ministers to haustaLiutants, in the warmth of argument, had started from their seats, and were standing in the middle of the floor. The aspect of Mrs Soorocks indicated the most resolute calmness, and a sweet smile played round her lips, an'' no one could have traced the storm 1 Pockijawr'd (pockarred). Marked from the smallpox. i s: IV SI W( lej t i 5- II THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 81 most round storm 30X. of passion raginff within but by the lightning that flashed from her eyes. Miss Sho()r>ie, a tall^ meagr; , lieron -necked anatomy of womankind, was standing as stiff as Dr Gaubins, of Ohisgow, of whom Ikeny Hamilton said that he looked as if he had swallowed a decoction of ramrods. Her hands were fiercely clenched, her cheeks pale, and her lips quivering, her teeth grinding, and her small greenish-grey eyes sparkling as if they emitted, not constella- tions of fire only, but visible needles and pins. Miss Girzie had thrown herself between them, and was pushing her sister back by the shoul- ders, evidently to prevent her from fixing her ten bloodthirsty talons in the imperturbable tran- quillity of her antagonist's countenance. On my appearance the storm was instantly hushed, the sisters hastily resumed their seats, and Mrs Soorocks, with ineffable composure, ad- dressed herself to me. " How do you do, sir t Me and the leddies hae been just diverting ourselves, talking o'er auld stories, till we hae been a' like to dee of laughin. Miss Shoosie there ye see hasna got the better o't yet. O Miss Grizzy ! but ye're gude at a guffaw; as for your sister, I'll no forget the way she would joke wi' me. I hope ye havena taen't ill, Miss Shoosie } I was just reminding her, sir, o' a Avee bit daffin in the days o' her youthfu' thocht- lessness." The insulted virgin could stand no more .! ' * M i Isf I VOL. n. no t '^' tl \i li IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) V] A '> > »^ t LO l;£|28 |2.5 |50 '■^™ M^H 2.2 I.I -11^ US 1 1.25 U ji.6 < — 6" ► Photographic Sciences Corporation 23 WEST MAIK STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. US80 (7)6) 872-4503 I "'4^ 1 HI 82 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS \ . I Bouncing on her feet, she gave a stamp that shook the aged mansion from roof to foundation, and raising her clenched hands aloft, she screamed through the throttlings of rage — " It's false — it's false — as false as hell ! " And so in verity it was, for the whole insinua- tion, with all details and particulars, was only an invention got up by the ingenious Mrs Soorocks, on the spur o' the occasion, having no other material wherewithal to parry the cutting innuendoes of her acrimonious adversaries. The widow, however, took no notice of the judge-like energy of the denial, but said — '* Good day, my old friends, and tak an advice from me : Put a bridle on the neck of your terrible tempers. Miss Girzie, I may say to you, as Leddy Law said to ane like you, *^ Maybe if you would shave your beard, it would help to cool your head.' " With these words she swirled meteor-like out of the room, with a magnificent undulation or curtseying motion, before Miss Girzie could dis- charge the bomb of her retort. That it might not, however, be lost, but strike, as the artillery- men say, by ricochet, the infuriated virgin turned sharply to me, and said — " She's ane, indeed, to speak o' shaving faces- she ought to be taught to scraps her ain tongue. But it's beneath me to discompose myself for sic a clash-clecking clypen^ kennawhat. She's just a midwife to ill-speaking." 1 Clash'Clccking clypen. Scandal-hutching, tale-boaring. out I or lis- IJT ht [;illery- med tu ices — mgue. Ifor sic just Iring, -■^ 'I ■..«■•. ■*a. .9- ^^: •..* t""- *'• ^ H^ .m ■'1' ■Us % *^1 fM «• J 'r, '^i^- ^ / '» * 1 ihi 1 1 t' 1 I u, f ! If ll I'l .1,! ! V i: Si vhf; h^^.sT uF THE r.ArRr>s: ikvwnc*?!*; oa h* : t. slit: gave a stan>p tlu*' mil/ • iir' ai^ed t . ^^.^ oa frr.m r^tif to tounJation. tmd r^isjjjg- Ucr cl^'Mcliefl hniuls aioi!. 8h»: ^oi eameiJ th '^JjPrh the throttlings of rajEje — - '* 4t'i» fake-- it" s false — as false f.< hell ' " Afid so in verity it. was, fur tlie whole JTisinua- t5«5- witik ail detiksit* ami [^nrticuUrs, was only an mt^atkv aiecrttious MrsSoorock.s, on Ov ' mt i»ther materia! w ^f |i* <-> i f the deniar. but i.ni'l — *' C'roixi (bvy, my '>id frit^.fds, and t/^k an advice from im? : Put a bridle on U)e neck of your ti rribh tef»t|i«i^. MtsK Girxie, I raaf ««y t<> you, as J .eddy i.. '<; «r»*' like you^ 'Maybe Hyxm wt«dd sh?i\ «• pm» betwi, It wouid help to cool your head.' " ** iiJh tbcmt fwrds ^kw *«Hrled meieoirdike out 0i ' t magnificent undujatinn or m-'' ■ <>, before Miss Giraic coidd dis- tih«.rye '^.t, h««t .eouiposr' »nv's<*if for mv a clash <. •■king cl vpeii ' kexuiawdiai She's just a midwile f' «M-speaking." ,■ 10 IVM • I ttiul :ion. nua- ly ai. Ls, on teriai r thf ulvicc 'vribi< l.> lrin«:. z' , / 'V' /■/ #1 •- .-WllJl t.i»-U'. i.ii*!»vinl ' 11 ^ i 'I deg her witl 1 ! i^ r :•' ji 1 J 1^ f^ ,*'f ,!:^ iil I; 1, i \ ; \ n (i! 'f ,1 I THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 83 Miss Shoosie, who had by this time in some degree rallied, exclaimed — « Sister— I beg, sister, ye'U say no more about her, for I'm determined to take the law;' and with these words she burst into tears. m i .^ i jifUPJlf lHg*— K i « f 4 h: 1 ■ f ■ i if !, f l» CHAPTER XX W HEN, after some desultory conversation, in which, with all my usual tact and suavity, I had in a great measure succeeded in soothmg the irritated feelings of the ladies, Miss Girzie, " on household cares intent," had left the room ; and finding myself on the sofa beside her sister, I began to throw out my feelers with a view to ascertain in what manner the negotiation should be opened. •* Miss Shoosie," said I gravely, " it is the mis- fortune of your sex to stand in need of a protec- tor. Without some one of ours being interested in your happiness, the variety of insults and vexa- tions to which you are hourly exposed — to say nothing of the value of a male friend in affairs of business — renders it the duty of every prudent woman, at some time of her life, to clothe herself with a Inisband." In saying this, i laid my hand upon hers, to give the greater emphasis to my persuasion ; but the look with which she considered the movement was to me truly alarming. "Tis a very just observe, sir," replied she. '1 e mis- rotec- rested vexa- to say airs of udent icrself ;rs, to ; but iement she, THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 85 si(^hing and endeavouring to look amiable. Such particular manifestations brought me at once to the point, and I resumed — " You are sensible, Miss Shoosie, that no man can take a deeper interest in the happiness of his friends than I do ; and, as you are a lady of sense and knowledge of the world, I acknowledge to you that my visit this day is for a very special purpose." Here I felt her thumb, as it were, fondly dis- posed to turn up and embrace mine ; and I was therefore obliged to be quick with the declaration, for I saw that we were running the risk of coming into what the Laird would have called a comical situation ; so I added — " I have been this morning with our friend Auldbiggings, and have had a very earnest con- versation with him on this very subject." Miss Shoosie withdrew her hand, and taking hold of her elbows, she erected her person and said drily — "Well?" " He spoke of you with great tenderness, lament- ing that the circumstances of his first marriage had prevented him, in the ardour of youthful passion, from throwing himself at your feet." " Did he really say so .>* " "Nay, I assure you, that it would offend your delicacy were I to repeat the half of what he said ; but I can assure you that his youthful feel- ings towards you have undergone no change." 1 1 f Ml \^ ii r 1 [ "■ 86 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS I I f"i; (( No possible I " said Miss Shoosie, relaxing from her stiffness. " It is, however, true, my dear madam ; and surely it is much to be deplored that two persons so well calculated to endear themselves to each other should by the malice of Fortune have been so long kept asunder. What is your opinion. Miss Shoosie, of Mr Mailings .'* " But instead of answering the question, she said — *' Do you know, sir, that Mrs Soorocks, when ye came in, was talking in very high terms of him ? And certainly I never heard that he was guilty o' ony indiscreetness, 'cept in the misfortune o' his marriage ; but in sic things the woman is aye mair to blame than the man, and there have been folk that said Mr Firlot the minister ought not on that occasion to have, in a manner, as they said, forced the marriage. But ever since Mr Mailings has been a widower, he has conducted himsell, I will allow, wi' the height o' discretion." " But how does it happen. Miss Shoosie, that you and him never meet ?" " It's no my fau't," said she ; " for ye ken that my sister and I are very retired ; it's no our custom to wear other folk's snecks and hinges, like Mrs Soorocks ; nor wou'd it become women in our situation to be visiting a wanting man." " Upon my word. Miss Shoosie, I do not see that there would be the least indecorum in your IflE LAST Oi^' THE LAIRDS 87 asking Mr Mailinffs and myself on a Sunday after- noon to a sober cup of tea." " I wou'd have nae objection," was the answer ; " but what way could it be brought about wi' propriety ? " " 'Tis quite refreshing," replied I, " to con- verse with a sensible woman. Had you been Mrs Soorocks, Miss Shoosie, the chance is that, instead of the refinement and sensibility with which you have accepted the offer of my worthy friend the Laird's hand " " Offer, sir ! I never have had an offer." " O Miss Shoosie ! what then is the purpose of my being here but to make you an oflfer ? " " You don't say so ! " said she with a simper, looking away from me, and turning down the side of her head as if she was hiding blushes. *' I do. Miss Shoosie, and I think you most singularly fortunate in receiving such an offer from the man on whom your affections have been so long placed." " Are you really sincere, sir .'* Because if you are, I'll ne'er deny that I have long thocht that, with proper management, Mr Mailings might make an excellent husband." "Then, Miss Shoosie, why delay your felicity and the felicity of the man of your choice ? " "O sir, you would never advise me to take such a rash step as to change my condition with- out consulting my friends. Our sister Lady Chandos is at a distance " r f ■ ^ r *: "'] IH ( 0^ i I i 1 i k' : 1 :l i j, i ( : ! 1 1 ■ 1 1 ' Y 1 H " 1- 1 1 1 J; )i 88 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS tt I hope her ladyship is very well," said 1, imitating the humour of Mrs Sooroeks. " When did you hear from her last ? " " My sister was never gude at the writing." " But her man of business, when he draws on you for the rents, surely lets you know of the welfare of her ladyship and the young heiress, who, I understand, is about coming of age ? It will be a most fortunate thing, Miss Shoosie, both for you and Miss Grizil to have the assist- ance of a husband like Mr Mailings when you come to settle accounts with the executors of your brother-in-law." "To be sure, there is no needcessity that I should consult Lady Chandos, for when she was married she never consulted me; but I can give no answer to the proposal till I have conferred wi (jrirzie. " Then let us call her into the room and settle the business at once. I shall return to Auld- biggings wi' a light heart, conscious that I have this day been instrumental in establishing the happiness of two persons worthy of one another." " But, sir," replied Miss Shoosie with solemnity, "is there no glammoury in what you hae been saying, for ye ken it would be thocht a most extraordinar thing were I to confess a preference for Mr Mailings, and nothing to come o't .'' " I assured her that I was fully accredited to make the proposal, adding — " Indeed, Miss Shoosie, you are highly hon- ^1 TiiE LAST OF THE LAIRDS S<) oiired, and your niarri.ige cannot fail to be a happy one, since, like a princess, you are courted by proxy. Let us call in Miss Girzie, and as the day is warn and I am tired with my walk, I hope on such a blythe occasion you will not refuse me a glass of your delicious currant wine and water." "That you shall have, sir, without delay — but you must leave me and my sister to confer in private." " Am I then to give my friend any hopes ? " " I dare say you may say he needna despair." "Miss Shoosie," I exclaimed, " you are a pattern to your whole sex, and I cannot but envy my friend that the disparity of our years, and the fidelity of your affections to him, would, even if I were willing, allow me no hope of success as his rival." " O sir ! O sir ! " said she, with a self-congratulat- ing titter, " ye gar me doot — I wish ye may hae a' this time been o* a true sincerity." " Miss Shoosie, a marriage made up without jocularity was never a happy one ; ' a dull bridal and a scrimp infore,' as the old proverb says, 'bodes quench 'd love or toom pantries.' Bring in the wine and let us drink — may there ne'er be waur amang us.' s I : J; '. I •'ft CHAPTER XXI W HEN I returned home in the evening, I sat down to the full enjoyment of those agreeable reflections which are sometimes all the reward that kind-hearted people like me receive in this world for the trouble of doing good and charit- able actions. The day, as I have already mentioned, had been uncommonly warm, but the twilight was cool, calm, and clear. The moon was just above the horizon, and so directly behind the high church and steeple of " the canny town," as King James the Sixth used to call Paisley, that they appeared like an apocalyptical vision dimly on her disc. 1 heard the faint far-off sound of the bell at intervals — now and then the bleating of the sheep on the Whinny Knowes, accompanied with the occasional bark of their guardian collie — while the sound of a flute from a neighbouring grove, as Harvey says in his " Meditations," came upon the ear with " auricular fragrance," or as a I^ake poet describes the dashing of oars during the night on the bosom of Windermere in his amiable poem of the " Hoxter. " ao THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 91 ^1 As I was sitting by the open window of my study, tasting the freshness of the evening air and listening to the soothing harmony of those mingled sounds, I observed the shadow of a man on the moonlight wall of the garden, coming by the footpath towards the house ; and presently Mr Tansy, the schoolmaster, emerged upon the lawn from behind the shrubbery. I immediately ordered candles, and by the time they were lighted he was admitted. "You have come in a happy moment," said I to him. " I have been enjoying the delicious tranquillity of this still and fragrant night. The spirit of contentment is abroad, and there is a pleasing augury of peace and repose in the aspect of universal nature." I knew that these euphonious phrases, imitated from the styk of that mysterious little work. The Omen, in which the cabalistic sentimentality of our Northern neighbours has been so prominently brought out, would act as ignited touch-paper on the dominie's inflammable enthusiasm ; and so it happened. " Call you it a happy time when everything indicates- a crisis .'* The sun hath for the season reached the maturity of his power ; he sent forth a heat which the memory of the oldest person in the parish cannot parallel, and from this day his glory will begin to decline into the ineffectual lustre which illuminates but warms not the dreariness of winter. The moon is in this very ■| i' f : ! i rr^ 92 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS n 1 ! i hour at the full, and already hath begun to dwindle and to wane. The grass hath been cut down, the sheep are shorn of their fleeces, the sweet influences of the spring are over and gone, and the summer pauses in the weaving of her garlands, as if she had twined enough for the use of the year — all gives the sign of mutation, and the fortunes of men are in unison with the condition of things. We shall hear rumours of strange matters that will speedily ensue. The green boughs of prosperity will soon be seen with the sere and yellow leaf; tidings of change and decay will come among us, and proud hearts will be moved with disastrous fears." This sort of almanack prognostication of the good and simple man derived an impressive emphasis in its meaning from the events of the day ; insomuch that, although I had set him off in Ihe mere playfulness of the moment, it had yet considerable effect upon my feelings, and I replied — "There is something of a vague and hazy truth in your observations ; but I have heard as yet of no particular occurrence to convince me of the existence of that astrological reciprocity between the course of moral actions and celes- tial signs which you so often maintain. On the contrary, I have this day myself sown the seeds of an event which cannot fail to be of prosperous issue." The philosopher looked serious, and said — m ft;:; 1^1 I THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 93 " Modesty requires that you should add to the bravery of such a boast an ' if likeas/ if no un- foreseen accident comes forth to blight it ; but whatever experience, sir, you think you have had of a contrariety to my doctrines, I myself have met with a wonderful instance of their truth. This very day, a man and a child have come to Renfrew, and are abiding at the public there. What I have heard of them, and of the jeopardies they have come through, convinces me that they are unconscious agents to bring about some sin- gular mutation that is ordained to come to pass in this country-side. They have come here, as I am told, from a foreign land, in quest of great wealth that appertains to the child, whose parent- age was burned at sea. More I have not heard ; but hearing this much, I could do no less than come to tell you ; for knowing how well gifted you are wi' the faculty o* curiosity, I am sure that you can lose no time in going to Renfrew the morn's morning, to satisfy yourself by sifting all the particulars, and doing your utmost to help the friendless in this, to them, strange land." " I beg your pardon, Mr Tansy, I am not a man of such curiosity as you seem to think, but only actuated by a liberal spirit of inquiry, the love of truth, and a constitutional penchant for facts." I was indeed not quite pleased to hear myself so considered, notwithstanding the compensation in the just acknowledgment of my benevolence. •I ly i 'J PT, f ryr' .94 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS P- !1 i*'!. »i •11 : i PIW 100 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS A ' I .( / '.\ /,! f. : . yellow ladies, I dootna, in that great Mogul toon, where ye learnt manners." I had begun at this to be afraid that the lady's curry would prove too rich even for the Oriental palate of the Nabob ; but the complacent smile which played over his turmeric-coloured counte- nance soon convinced me of the capacity of the Indian temperament for adulation. But it would seem that there is something in the influences of the sacred Ganges that generates an inordinate craving for flattery, as well as the hepatic maladies ; there have been cases of this disease even late in life, a noble instance of it very recently, where the symptoms, so insatiable in India, are said scarcely to have been mitigated by empirical doses of the Leadetihall faculty. " My pictures," said the Nabob, " are not very remarkable (some people, however, have tho't well of them), but, ma'am, allow me the gratiCca- tion to show them to you, such as they are." " Na ! " said Mrs Soorocks, taking his offered arm, ''this is politeness;" and as they walked out of the room I followed them. All she beheld filled her apparently with the most extraordinary delight. On entering the principal drawing-room she exclaimed — " O Mr Roopy ! — Nawaubpore, as I should weel ca' ye — you and me are just like King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, when he was showing her all his wisdom, and the house that he had built, and the meat of his table." THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 10! "That you shall see presently," said the Nabob, laughing, *' for I have ordered tiffin in the dining- room." "And I sea, like him, ye hae sitting servants too," rejoined the lady ; " all this must hae cost a power o' money, Nawaubpore." " It did cost a few lacs, and a great deal more than I could well afford." "Weel, I'm vera sorry indeed to hear that — it accounts for what I have heard : for sure am I, a gentleman o' your extraordinar liberality, had ye no straitened yoursell wi' this grandeur, would never hae thocht of molesting that poor silly doited do-naething Auldbiggings about his wadset." '' Oh, not quite so bad as that neither, ma'am ; for all his debt would be but a drop in the bucket in my affairs, said the Nabob. " Weel, I was sure o' that, and I so said to them that told me ; and I said, likewise, that you had been very ill-used, for if Auldbiggings didna insult you himsell, he egget on the misleart creature his servant-man to break your land surveyor's implement; and that it wasna the worth o* t?ie money that gar't you persecute him, if it were sae, for .that ye were a man far aboon heedin' whether ye were pay'd at this time or seven years hence, especially as you could not but know that the property would come vera soon to you in a natural way — the feckless body being in a deep decline, wi' a great hoast, and a sore defluction o' the chest." \\ \ 1 1- i i! wr. 102 THE LAST OF THK LAIRDS :■''■': ! h. " I have lon^ known/' said the Nabob, laugh- ing, "that iiis chcxt was out of order." Here the lady burst into a most immoderate guffaw, in which the Nabob heartily joined. At the conclusion, she exclaimed — " Really, Nawaubpore, ye're as funny as ye're wise ; but it's no Christian-like for you and me to be gamboUin o'er the weak man's infirmities. Couldna ye just let him be? I'm sure, if I had but the tenth part o' your fortun, and no the half o' your generosity, rather than hear the clash that's bizzin' about a' the kintra-side concerning you and Auldbiggings, I would put his heritable bond in a blank cover — I wouldna demean myself to write the body — and send it to him wi' my contempts." I thought Mrs Soorocks truly like the Que^n of Sheba for her management in this instance, especially when the Nabob, with a slight shade of thoughtfulness, replied he was sorry to hear that there was so bad an account of himself in the country. " But," replied she, " I never believed it ; and ye needna fash yoursell, as ye ken it's no true — it's a soogh that'll soon be ower." " Everything, my dear madam," said the Nabob, "is in this world misrepresented and much ex- aggerated — that hectoring, lecturing prig of a fellow. Padre Lounlans, came here dictating to me what I should do." " He's a self-conceited man, Dr Lounlans," .1^ TIIK LAST (»F TIIK LAIRDS ]03 iiitcrrupU'd tlie lady, " he would rule the wisest in the parish it' !ic could, and for your ow n dig- nity, Nawaubpore, you who have seen so much o' the ^reat world, eouldna suffer yoursell to be governed by the likes o' him. It will, however, be a pity it* you let your scorn o' a meddlin minister hurt your ain character. If I was in your place, noo that the Doctor's awa to be married, I would show the world that I would do muckle mair o' my ain free will than I wad do either for ffeechin or preachin." The Nabob was now evidently thawed, and said — " You think my own tho'ts, ma'am. I have been for some time intending to stop the pro- ceedings which my man of business had advised me to institute." "But," said Mrs Soorocks, "if ye stop the pro- ceedings, which is as much as can be expected of you, I wouldna advise ye to gie up your heritable bond ; for if ye didna get the property at his death, somebody less deserving will." " I'm sure, Mrs Soorocks," said the Nabob, " I shall do anything you like in the matter ; I am too happy in having made the acquaintance of a lady so judicious to refuse her any wish in so trifling a matter. Allow me the honour to show you the way to the dining-room." Jil ^1 I I i I ! ( 1 li )' s. I * ilii tl:! ■ .' ' , 'I % CHAPTER XXIII Having bid adieu to the Nabob at the Fakeer gate, or, as Mrs Soorocks called it, " the Beautiful Gate/" to which he had accompanied us, we walked on together, congratulating each other on the success of our undertaking. " Weel," said the lady, •' ye see how a thing may be done, if folk kent how to set rightly about it. To be sure, considering that Dr liOun- lans is a young man no experienced in the ways o' the world, and that ye're but an authour, which, in a certain sense, is only a something between a dominie and a bookseller ; and that Nawaubpore is a man o' abilities (though a thocht vain o' them, that maun be allow't), it was none surprising that ye baith cam sae little speed. Folks say that the Nabob's proud, but, for my part, I think he's a man o' condescension ; — and hasna he a fine style o* manners } It will be lang in the day or ye' 11 see ane o' our stirks o' country gentlemen linking a leddy about his house, and showing her his plenishing and other curiosities. Poor bodies ! they ne'er hae a greater curiosity than themselves. He maun in^^eeu be a 104 1 1 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 105 rich man j'oii. I said he was like King Solomon in all his glory, and, like Solomon, he has his weak side too ; but I couldna help thinking, as he showed me his gold and his silver and his precious stones— didna ye think the big chiny jars maist handsome ? — that he was mair like Hezekiah showing the men that brought him the present, after he was no weel, from Berodoch- Beladin, the son of Beladin, king of Babylon. It's surely a neglect in the Scriptures no to tell us what the present was, for no doot it was some very fine thing. I hope, however, that what Nawaubpore has shown to us this day of his precious things, his spices and his ointments- there was rather an overly ostentation of spice in yon mugglecatauny soup ; but we shouldna look a gien horse in the mouth, so 1 hope that the pride of the Nabob's heart is no to be dis- mayed wi' the sight o' his veshels o' gold and his veshels o' silver carried away captive, as it were, to the Babylon o' Olasgow, to be put in the fiery furnace o' William Gray's melting-pot." This speech, dishevelled and ravelled as it was, reminded me of the schoolmaster's prediction, and I told Mrs Soorocks of the strangers who had come to Renfrew, and of my intention of then going there to see them ; advising her, at the same time, to proceed to Auldbiggings to comfort the Laird with the tidings of our achievements. She was greatly struck with the coincidence of the strangers' arrival at the time of what she f V I' 1.'!* I V ffl ilw It' ; i f S f,, .i 106 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS called the Nebuchadnezzar vanity of the Nabob about the great Babylon lie had built ; and she would willingly have accompanied me to see the bottom of such "a judgment-timed event," using many ejaculatory terms concerning what might come to pass. I had, however, enjoyed enough of her company for one morning, and shook her off with as much civility as possible, promising to call on her as I returned home to tell her all the particulars. We accordingly separated where the roads diverged — I for the royal burgh and she for the Laird. I had not parted from her more than two or three hundred yards, when I met Jock, the Laird's man, coming leisurely from the town. "Where have you been this morning, John.-*" said I ; "and how is your master ,'' " "He's likii a lying-in wife," replied Jock, "as weel as can be expecket, and I hae been getting for him a coi dial o' mair efficacy for his state than a' the drogues o' a doctor's bottle." " Indeed ! and what mav that be .'^ " ml " What may that be ? I'm sure ye ken that the malady where wi' he's afflicted is a sair disease." " The want of money, do you mean .'' What's your remedy, John ? " " I had hain'd three-and-twenty shillings and fivepence hapeny out o' the wage that was pay'd me twa year bygane, and I barrow'd four shillings and sixpence from Jenny Clatterpans — ye'll ken her — she's ane o' our lasses. Wi' that, and a : Nabob and she see the ," using t might enough lOok her lising to f all the here the and she I two or e Laird's John ? " ock, " as getting ;ate than that the jease." What's ngs and as pay'd shillings e'll ken ;, and a THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS lo: bawbee that I saved out o' twopence that the Laird sent me to waster on snuff for him — isn't a daft-like thing for a man to create an appetite in his nose, wlien he's sae fash'd to get the where- withal to satisfy his mo^.th ? — wi' the aught-and twenty shillings I hae bought a sixteenth, and when it comes uj) a prize o' therty thousan pounds, me and the Laird intend to go o'er the knowes to the Great Mogul, and pay him his wadset, plack and bawbee, sine snap our fingers in his face. But oh ! sir, sic a stramash is in tlie toun o' Arenthrou ! The bailies are rinning about hither and thither like dogs wi' pans tied to their tails ; for some Paisley hempies that cam doun to the fishing, it being their fast-day, have gotten them- selves fou, and mortally affronted the toun by miscaaing the gude steeple. The folk wadna thol't, and coudna stand it ; so, weel-a-wat, they hae gotten sic quarters in the stane chaummer as they richly deserve. If ye want to see the tail o' the business, I wad advise ye to muve on a thocht brisker, so I wish ye a very guid morning." With this scrap of provincial intelligence, as big with importance to Jock as the mutiny at the Nore was to the British Government, the Laird's man sauntered home to Auldbiggings, and I onwards to Renfrew. V t! I" I \ r' ■; t • i i j 1 1 ! h i N ir : : J ( !. CHAPTER XXIV 1 FOUND the stranger with his young ward in " the inn," and, upon requesting to see them, was shown into "the best room up the stair," where they were then sitting. Mr Coball, for so the stranger was called, was a plain but respectable elderly person, of a tropical appearance ; the little boy wore also the impress of the Indian clime, for though in voracious health, his face was colourless, and though his eyes sparkled with the morning light of life, his cheeks were untinged with any of its vernal bloom. It was not easy to explain the motives of my intrusion, but I got through the ceremony of self-introduction tolerably well, and without much embarrassment, for instead of affecting to offer any apology, I professed to offer my services, at the same time assuring Mr Coball that, although I should have much pleasure in showing him everything interesting in the town, there was in fact nothing worthy of a traveller's notice in it. " I'm not here," he replied, " in quest of those things which attract travellers, but, as it were, 108 M. ; THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 109 of my tnv of much offer |ces, at liough him ■I If m bv accident ; yesterday I was landed at Greenock from America, and was on my way to Edinburgli, for the purpose of institutin^Lf some inquiry to discover the relations of that poor child, when I happened to hear the name of a gentleman men- tioned, who is probably the chief person I am so anxious to find. He left India two or three years a«^o, that is, if the same whom I believe he is, and I have hal -ed here to call on him, which I propose to do in the course of the day." But not to dwell on uninteresting particulars, it proved that the gentleman in question was the Nabob, and that he was supposed to be either nearly related to the boy, or acquainted with his friends ; if he had not been executor to his father, who died about five years before, leaving a wife and three children. "They were coming home," said Mr Coball, "in the same ship with me, but by the terrific calamitv that befell us, and our subsequent dis- asters, all the evidences (with the exception of a few seemingly unimportant letters) have been lost, by which the unfortunate child may be identified to his relations." He wvas too much moved by the recollection which this incidental allusion to his misfortunes recalled for me to interpose any question ; but as his emotion subsided, he began to describe his sufferings, till he insensibly came to talk of the catastrophe of the ship. " It happened," said he, " on a Saturday night Ml i no THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS m i* ki ''- f — we had been all merry, according to the custom at sea, and had retired to our respective cabins and berths, in the hope of making the Cape in the course of a day or two. I had just fallen asleep, when a sudden and strange noise roused me from my pillow. I listened, and a wild cry of fire was instantly echoed by many voices. I started up and ran on deck — I could see nothing, but only a steamy white smoke issuing from the fore-hatchway. In a moment every soul on board was around me. " The captain with undismayed coolness ordered all to prepare for the worst, and the other officers with their trumpets were immediately at their posts, directing the crew in the attempt to extin- guish the flames. The night was calm, the heavens above were all serene, and the sea lay so still around that the ship appeared to hang in the centre of a vast starry sphere, so beautiful and bright was the reflection of the skies in the un- bounded ocean. " I may not describe the dreadful contrast which the scene on board presented to that holy tranquillity. There were distraction, and horror, and wild cries, and fearful screams, and hideous bursts of delirious laughter. Then there was a crash below, and silence for a moment — and then the busy troubled sound of the consuming de- struction, felt as well as heard, gnawing and devouring the inward frame and beams of the ship, still growing louder and fiercer. M M THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS I II " In the meantime the boats were lowering — the first that floated was instantly overloaded, and sank with a horrible startling cry — every soul who had so wildly leapt on board perished. ♦'The rage of the burning still increased — it was no longer possible to go below, without the risk of suffocation. " Another boat was launclied — one of the officers leaped on board, and, sword in hand, shoving her from the ship's side, sufferf;d none to follow until water and provisions were handed in ; but notwith- standing his prudent endeavours she was soon filled both with the sailors and the passengers. The mother of this orphan was standing on the gangway with her three children ; she looked as if she too would have leapt into the boat, but the babies clung to her, and so hung upon her arms that she could not disentangle herself from their fond and frantic embraces. " I tore this poor boy from off her — she cried, ' O save him if you can ! ' — the third boat was by this time in the water — I flung him to a sailor on board; she snatched up the other two beneath her arms, and with a shrill dismal shuddering shriek, which made every one that hung cluster- ing about the shrouds and gangway look round, she rushed into the smouldering cabin and shut the door. " Her madness infected all who witnessed it —the boat was pushing off — there was no other chance for me — I leapt into the water and was y f w 'fT ■ i if^ Vi i I ■ ■t i 1 M ■' 1 1 ■ \ . '; ' ' fi ■ 'i i 1 '1 i i . t i^! ' t •^ l.'l' r ;■ ii'f r' ' n ■; 'i t w -S fli f. 1 .r m. J IS'."; J . 1 i 1 - K i ,' ,»' lil/!^ u ii!: fiji «J tl 112 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS taken on board. Many followed me, but the officer, with a terrible compassion for those who might be saved, hewed off their hands with his cutlass as they laid hold of the gunwale. ' Row/ he cried to the sailors who had seized the oars ; ' the fire is making towards the magazine. Row off, or we shall be blown to pieces.' "The sailors rowed with their utmost vigour. As we left the ship a cry arose from all the un- fortunate wretches who were abandont J to their doom — so frantic, so full of woe and despair, that it made even the firm-minded officer exclaim, * Good God ! what is that ? ' " I covered my ears with my hands, and bent my forehead to my knees, that I might neither hear nor see. "When we had rowed to some distance, the men at the oars paused. I uncovered my ears and looked up — a deep, low, hoarse, murmuring and crackling noise came from the ship, and now and then a human cry. As yet the flames had not appeared ; but all around us, save where those dread and dismal sounds arose, was stillness and solemnity — and the smoke from the devoted vessel appeared like the shrouded form of some incom- prehensible and tremendous phantasma, ascending from the sepulchres of the ocean to tbe dominions of omens and powers. " We looked at the spectral sight with terror and in silence. The orphan was clinging to my knees. At last the fire began to break out. The THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 113 >minions flames first showed themselves at the cabin windows — in a moment they whirled up the rigging — the sails blazed, and the ship was for the space of a minute like some unblest apparitional creation of sorcery. " ' It is all over/ said the officer, and his voice sounded hollowly over the mute and echoless ocean. ' The fire is in the gunroom ! Ha ! ' " At that instant a vast sheet of flame filled the whole air, and like an angry demon unfurling his wings, scattered meteors and malignant fires against the stars. The black forms of many things hovered like motes in the sunbeam for a moment in the blaze. I distinctly saw an anchor, and many like men with outspread arms. "That momentary and indescribable vision of fires and fragments was succeeded by a booming roar, as if an earthquake had raised its voice from the abysses of the silent waters, and then there was a numerous plashing noise of many things falling around us into the sea ; but that too soon passed, and then there was darkness and silence. '' At that moment a cold wet hand caught hold of mine, which was hanging over the boat's side ; and a man from the sea cried in a homely Aberdonian voice : * For Christianity, will ye no tak me up } ' The officer heard him, and relent- ing from his firm and merciful purpose, ordered him to be taken on board. ' Na, na,' cried the Scotchman, *tak my bag first,* and he held up to me a small haversack, which I grasped and VOL. II. H f mm I I ;^ ' f> I I ' I f i in I if i\ " ■ »] ^ 114 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS lifted in ; but in the sani j instant an undulation of the sea came rolling from the whirlpool where the ship had sunk, the boat rose on the swell, the fated wretch lost his hold, and sank beneath her for ever ! " After a short pause Mr Coball added : " It pleased Providence to rescue us nex. morning from our perilous situation. A ship bound for the Isle of France had seen the glare of the burning during the night, and steering towards it when the wind freshened, came up to us by daybreak and took us all on board. As the orphan (whose name is Charles Bayfield) still hung about me, I undertook, if possible, to return him to his friends. He is a singularly sharp boy for his years, and in the Aberdonian who had so strangely preferred a bag to his life, he had recognised one of his mother's servants. The contents of the bag were in consequence adjudged to belong to him, and assigned to my custody. They con- sisted of the letters I have mentioned — besides several packets of valuable pearls and other costly trinkets, which may help me to discover his friends. But I hope the Mr Rupees of this neighbourhood is the same gentleman of that name, who by the letters appears to have been the executor of the deceased Colonel Bayfield, the child's father." Our conversation after this became general. Mr Coball mentioned several things, the know- ledge of which he had acquired from the letters in the bag, which convinced me that the Mr vll :ion of re the 11, the ,th her )lease(l )m our le Isle turning t when lybreak (whose •ut me, to his for his rangely oirnised ;ents of belong ey con- 3esides r costly riends. lourhootl by the >r of the »> er. general. know- i letters the Mr THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 1 lo Rupees he was in searcii of could be no other than our Nabob. But i became uneasy when he stated that by some of the letters it appeared Colonel Bayfield had died very rich, and that the bulk of his fortune was in the hands of his exe- cutor, from whom his widow had not been able to obtain any satisfactory information concerning it. 1 did not, however, divulge what I feared, but only mlvised Mr Coball to see the Nabob as soon as possible, adding: " If you find the assist- ance of any friend necessary, make no scruple of calling on me, for you have both interested my feelings and awakened my curiosity." I then took Miy leave. Thus it came to pass that, what with the Laird's affairs and this new adventure, I, good easy man, who never meddled with anv other bodv's business — for my iimocent curiosity can never be called meddling — had as much toil for my feet, work for my hands, and talk for my tongue as Mrs Soorocks herself. Mine, however, was owing to tlie purest and most disinterested motives, while her visitations sprung from a prying disposition and an unaccountable desire to have a finger in every pie baked in the neighbourhood — the neigh- bourhood, did I say ! — I might well say the country. I have indeed often wondered that she did not remove herself to the multifarious field of (ilasgow ; but her reason was excellent : " Because," said she, " nobody in a populous town cares for one another, and I would die if I did not ken some- V ' 4 I v. s ■^T^^ U,] ri ji y. h il 116 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS thing about my neighbours. It's no a field for dispensing the workings of grace or the exercise of a mind void of offence, for I love to do good, especially to my friends in affliction." How- blind some people are to their most obvious defects ! k i I 1 >-ti i hi I , ill 3 i ( ir; T ] Id for ;ercise good. How bvious i CHAPTER XXV FaTICJUKD with my long walk, the heat of the day, and the influence of my dinner, I had thrown myself on the sofa to indulge in a short siesta, before going, as I had promised, to tell Mrs Soorocks the result of my journey to Ren- frew. I had not, however, stretched out mv limbs many minutes when that indefatigable personage herself was announced. " I thought," said she, as soon as she had entered the room, " I would spare you the trouble of coming to me, for although I was just curious to hear the discoveries that ye hae made, I could better spare hearin o' them than refrain frae telling you o' the tribulation we are baith likely to be put in for the pains we hae taken, out o' a sense o' religion, to help the Laird in his jepordies." " What tribulation ? What has happened } " " Oh, the swine's run thro't ! " exclaimed she ; " no sooner had I told the auld gaumeril that Nawaubpore was a perfec gentleman, and was disposed not only to treat him with mitigation, but to allow him to live on the estate upon easy 117 ^ V % \ '^1 i 118 THE LAST OF THE lATRDS ;,' f. i^ , 1 1- terms for the remainder of his life, than he began to hum and haw, and to wish that he hadna geen authority to you to bespeak ane o' the Miss Minnygaffs to marry him. Did ye ever experience such black ingratitude ? " " You do not say so ? My dear madam, if he draws back, what shall I do ? I have pledged my honour for him to Miss Shoosie." " I see nothing for it but to tak her yoursell," said Mrs Soorocks, laughing. " It is no laugliing matter to me, Mrs Soorocks, after the praises I have bestowed on Miss Shoosie, which, tliough they carried no offer, might yet perhaps, by the help of Edinburgh advocacy, be screwed into as much as, if it did not draw damages, would draw from my pockets the fees both of advocate and writer, and worse than all, make me be talked of as a perjured wretch in all the boarding-schools of Athens ; even though the case should happen to be accurately reported in that amusing periodical, Shaw and Dunlop's Decisions Oj the Court of Session." We were here interrupted by my servant coming into the room, saying that the ladies of Barcnbraes wanted to speak a word wi' myself in private. " They'll be comin to consult you anent takin the law o' me," said my visitor, endeavouring to smile ; and she added, " Oh, but this is a treacher- ous warld ! Howsoever, ve can cro, sir, and see ye go. what they daur to say, and I'll bide till ye're 'i' I began badna e Miss ^rience if h e ledged jrsell," orocks, boosie, ;bt yet acy, be t draw lie fees isn all, itcb in tboiigb ^ported unlop's servant dies of myself t takin ring to eacher- nd see 1 ye' re THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 119 ;» ■% done wi' tbem. I redd ye, sir, tak tent that ye say naething to put up their birses, for when angered they are perfect wild-cats." I accordingly left her and went to the ladies, who had been shown into the drawing-room, and were sitting on the sofa, with pink silk scarfs, like twin cherries on one stalk. Miss Shoosie was doing ami.'ible with bridelike bashfulness, her eyes perusing the carpet, while she played with iier shoe-toe with the j)oint of her parasol. Miss Girzie had less of downcast modesty in her ap- pearance. Her parasol lay across her knees, and was resolvedly grasped at the extremities, while her countenance indicated both fortitude and intrepidity. "We have come, sir,"' said she, " having con- sidered the proposal ye made to my sister yester- day " The " ye maun tak her yoursell," of Mrs Soorocks still ringing in my ears, I exclaimed : " Proposal, ma'am ! I made no proposal ! " " Sister ! " cried Miss Girzie, " sister, is it pos- sible that you could be mistaen ? — but I told you that it was ower gude a godsend to come to our door, especially as Auldbiggings has done sae lang without a wife." This speech relieved me in one respect, that is, in as far as I thought myself implicated ; but, considering what Mrs Soorocks had told me of the alteration in the Laird's views, I began to feel as if I had only got out of the frying-pan )\ A m f ' ii I k I-I( , 1 i m Ml n- !. , f; It ; ,M ' , ^ III 120 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS into the fire ; nevertheless, I mustered self-pos- session enough to say with some show of gaiety — " Well, ladies, and what is the result of your deliberation ? " " I told my sister," resumed Miss Girzie, "that there could be no objection to Mr Mailings as a man, which was quite her opinion ; but I thocht it wouldna be prudent of her to give her consent to an acceptance of his hand until we both knew what sort o' settlement he was disposed to make upon her." '^ Settlement ! Miss Girzie," cried I, glad to find any loophole. " Settlement ! surely, ladies, you must have long known the embarrassed state of Mr Mailings' affairs. Were times to mend, as we hope they will do, doubtless he may have it in his power to make a settlement ; but really, under existing circumstances, anything like a regu- lar settlement ought not to be expected." " Is't possible," replied Miss Girzie, '' that you cou'd suppose my sister wou'd marry ony man without a provision for a family .'' I'm sure she shou'd ne'er hae my consent to such indiscreet- ness." Glad to find the venerable spinster ri> •> sturdy a humour, I grew a little bolder, and said - " Whatever your sentiments. Miss Girzie, may be, I have always had a very high opinion of the disinterestedness of your sister, and will say so before herself, there where she sits ; but if I thought that in an affair of the heart, after the l'.!l really, sturdy THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 121 great tenderness and affection shown by my friend Mr Mailings, she could be so mercenary as to make any such sordid stipulation, I would advise him to have nothing further to say to her." Here Miss Shoosie said, wilh a plaintive accent : '* I'm no o' a mercenary disposition, and so I told my sister when she first spoke o' settlements." This was alarming, and I was completely per- plexed when Miss Girzie subjoined — " It's vera true, Shoosie, but when a thoughtless young couple's coming thegether, it behoves their friens to see that the solid temporalities are no neglected in the delusions o' love." " Indeed, Miss Girzie, you are quite right, and you would be wanting in sisterly affection if you did not see a proper jointure secured. At the same time I will be plain with you ; as the friend of Mr Mailings I will set myself against everything of the kind. I am very sorry, ladies, that so unsurmountable a bar should have arisen to the completion of a union every way desirable." Miss Shoosie moved as if she would interpose to prevent me from proceeding, but I was so appre- hensive of a more frank avowal of her willingness to accept the Laird that I raised my voice, and continued — " It cannot, however, be helped. I cannot see a gentleman's affections treated as no better than saleable commodities. You will excuse me, ladies, but my feelings are strong on the occasion. I do not blame you, however, Miss Girzie : you are but ' y. f a' V ! .(■ ij, \ Ml 11 I i u ,1 i I! H i At i: if li I'' I I ' 1 1 1 1 I UMli f'l 122 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS doing your duty, as I am doing mine. I will tell Mr Mailings of what has passed ; and as a lady is waiting for me on particular business in another room, you will pardon me for so abruptly wishing you a good afternoon." Miss Girzie at these words started up and said, " Sir, sir, just a minute." " I can hear no more," cried I ; "it is plain you intend to make a bargain with my friend. No abatement of expectation, no retraction of opinion on the subject, can change my mind. I may seem to you warm, ladies, and I am so. Who can help it when one hears of a gentleman's heart and hand regarded as of no value unless the hand be filled with glittering trash ! " The tone in which I expressed myself had so sounded through all the house that Mrs Soorocks came rushing into the room, crying : " Gudeness me ! have they flown upon you too.''" At the sight of that lady the two sisters rose, and, making a formal courtly courtesy, moved towards the door, while she returned the recogni- tion by another so profound that she seemed to have fairly seated herself on the floor, setting up at the same time a guffaw that made them tottle out of the room with short nimble steps, support- ing each other, as if some horrid monster was bellowing at their heels. ■^ will tell a lady is another wishing ind said, )lain you nd. No F opinion lay seem can help eart and hand be f had so Soorocks judeness ;ers rose, moved recogni- !emed to ;tting up :m tottle support- ster was CHAPTER XXVI W^HEN I had told Mrs Soorocks of what had passed with the ladies, and related to her the conversation I had held with Mr Coball ; when we had mingled our opinions respecting the de- mand which was likely to come so suddenly on the Nabob; and when I saw the interest which the doubtful situation of that gorgeous personage had excited in the eager sympathy of my visitor, I ordered tea for her, that we might discuss at leisure the course we ought to adopt in a case so singular and important; but before the kitchen, angUce tea-urn, was brought in, the Laird made his appearance, evidently dressed for some occa- sion of ceremony. His coat and waistcoat were of the same snuff colour — the latter with flaps after the manner of, but of greater amplitude tlian the style of, the court dress ; his breeches of black silk, rather short and scanty, were adorned at the knees with heirloom buckles of Bristol stones set in silver ; his stockings were also silk, of a bluish tinge, and a cottonial dimness, the effect of many lavations ; his shoes, cleaned by his man Jock, though jet 123 M A ' \\ ^'ill II r i ! ill' 124 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS ^ \ » ■ I i iU'll If ' black, yet were more of a lack-lustre clotliy appearance than of the satin-like brilliancy of Day and Martin — contrasting finely, however, with the radiance of his richly-chased massive Patagonian silver buckles ; he wore his best wi ml- ^1 , -All v., "*1 ni). I » |i ^ k i W\r j 126 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS I hae been seriously thinking that I wou'd be the better o' a wife." Here I interposed, exclaiming : " My gracious ! Mr Mailings, did you not authorise me to carry a proposal to the ladies of Barenbraes ? " " And/' cried Mrs Soorocks, " when I showed the need that ye stood in o' somebody to take care o' you, did I not tell you that Miss Shoosie was the fittest woman in a' this country-side for that purpose ? " " But ye ken," said the Laird, addressing him- self to us both, " that my heart grewed at the thocht o' ony ane o' the twa reisted i auld frights I — crined ^ in the flesh, wi' hides like the skin o' a pouket^ guse, and hues like denty lions 1 mean." " But, Mr Mailings," said I, " I have done my duty, and fulfilled the sacred trust which you confided to me. Miss Shoosie has consented to accept your hand and share your fortune ; and although her sister has some scruples of a mer- cenary nature, yet your faith and troth are pledged, and to retract now would be most dishonour- able." " Dishonourable ! " exclaimed Mrs Soorocks : " it wad be even-doon perfec perjuration. If Dr Lounlans were at hame, and siccan a sinfu' abomi- nation to be committed within the bounds o' the parish, he wad set the session wi' its seven heads 1 Reisted. Withered. 3 Pouket. ' Crined. Plucked. Dried up. ' I wou'd be gracious ! to carry I showed f to take iS Shoosie y-side for sing him- ed at the Id frights he skin o' ty lions I done mv rhich you isented to une ; and of a mer- i pledged, lishonoiir- Soorocks ; If Dr u' abomi- ids o' the /en heads •ied up. THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 127 and ten horns upon you, and ye hae had sonic experience o' what it can do. O Mr MaiHngs, ye havena the heart within ye to betray the love o' a young woman. VVhare div yc think ye'll gang when ye dee .'' " The Laird, raked by this cross fire, fell into confusion, and, instead of parrying the attack, replied with humility — " I aye thocht that a man had a richt, at least for ance in his life, to please himsell." " Please yoursell to be sure," said Mrs Soorocks, " but wi' a discretion. And what discretion wou'd there be in a feckless auld man to marry a gallopin', gallantin', gigglin' Miss in her teens, and to forsake a sober, douce, sensible, agreeable, j udicious woman .'' I may weel say to you as Mause, in Patie and Roger, says to Bauldy — ' Vow and loup back ! was e'er the like h^ ard tell ? Swith tak him, Deil, he's ower lang out o ' I'll no attempt to metre't, but it means the ill place. Deed, Auldbiggings, ye had better repent and sin no more, or yell maybe hae Miss Shoosie's death laid to your door, for she's a kind gentle crea- tur, and canna miss but to die o' a broken heart ; and what'll come o' yt then, when, like a ghost in William and Margetl, her spirit appears at your bed-fit, with a lily hand and a sable shroud ? " ''But," rejoined I, "it is not to the session only he shall answer — it is not only before the injured spectre o' Miss Shoosie that he will lie v! * A. 'Hi '( 4 N ! m ^il| t f i '!' it ? ,:'J 128 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS quaking at the dead of night. He must answer to me. I will not submit, after having been so entreated to negotiate the marriage, to see it so lightly broken off, and for what ? — a young girl that has nothing but flesh and blood to recom- mend her ! Mr Mailings, I consider myself ex- ceedingly ill used." " Na ! " cried Mrs Soorocks ; " I canna see hoo ye can be aff fechtin a duel wi' him — and a bonnic sicht it would be to see him brocht hame on a barn-door, after getting his head shot aff, and Jock, poor creatur, greetin', and following the mournfu' procession, carrying the head by the lug, as if it was no bettfi than a sheep's gaun to the smiddy to be sing't." The consternation of the Laird was continuing to increase, and looking first at me and then at his ruthless tormentor, he exclaimed — " Have I fallen into the hands o' the Philis- tines ? " " Philistines ! " cried Mrs Soorocks. " Surely ye're an uncircumceesed as weel as a man-sworn deceiver. Had I no mollified Nawaubpore, there would hae been less daffin in your head the night; for instead of dressing yoursell out like a squire o' high degree, and singing, ^I kiss'd and I prattled with fifty fair maids,' to mak conquests o' bits o' lasses, ye would hae been sitting in your forlorn chair, confabbing wi' Jock about whether by roj)e or gun was the easiest way o' deeing. But I'll go to the Nabob this precious minute — I'll let THK LAST OF THE LAIRDS 129 it answer been so see it so )ung girl recom- lyself ex- i see hoo a bonnic ime on a ; aff, and wing the 1 by the s gaun to ontinuing 1 then at le Philis- " Surely lan-sworn >re, there benight; a squire prattled bits o' r forlorn by rope But I'll -I'll let him ken what a false deluding man ye are — I'll tell him o' the plague ye were to the kirk-session, before Mr Firlot got ye to right that amiable ill- used woman your first wife, and the wrongeous mischief ye would noo do to the sweet girl whom Providence has made me an instrument to choose for your second." This last threat finished the Laird ; he lay back in his chair with his eyes fixed on one of the bell-cranks, his arms hanging as it were powerless by his sides, and every feature of his face relaxed with helplessness. " I canna," said he in soliloquy, " warstle wi* this — I hae lang thole't the consperacy that has sookit my rents — I hae endur't the loss o' my first love, Annie Daisie — I quietly submitted to my first wife till it pleased Providence to quench her — I hae seen the lands o' my forefathers mouldering awa — I hae known the terrors o' the law, and the judgment o' a wadset- I hae had sickness o' heart, and the rheumatics, and the toothache - weel may I say wi' the playactor in the show that I allow it in our barn — ' But it's this too solid flesh which makes the calamity of life, For who would bear the pangs c despised love — The oppressor's wrong — the insolence of law ? ' 'I'he deevil take Hugh Caption, .nul all the other ills that flesh is heir to — I'm riiin't beyond re- demption — Mrs Soorocks and sir, I gie myself up into your hands — be jjitiful, if ye can." VOL. H. I -'I V 1 ill ■^1 ^11 ^ \ S! i' .'I ; ! I ii I ' : ^ ! ' Vi ^1 ili^ CHAPTER XXVII AfTF.II the departure of the L.iird and Mrs Soorocks, I set myself quietly down to read the newsjiapcrs of the morning. Lu^jSfed as it were ft)rth from my accustomed privacy, I felt myself involved within the influence of a vortex, pregnant with events to the worthies of my immediate neighbom'hood. Changes, at least for a while, are lightsome ; and really I confess that 1 was not a little tickled with the surrounding aspect of aiiairs : Miss Shoosie, s Oirzie, and Mrs Soorocks on one side, t.iicatening matrimony against the Laird, and his man standing "in defence," on the other; while the Nabob, Dominie Tansie, and myself i)ut now and then a finger in the pie ; keeping ever and anon a watchful eye on trig Leezie, that Abigail, running blackfoot between the skirmishing parties. Half abstracted in these picturesque rumina- tions, I had just commenced an immeasurable leading article, the first sentences of which were redolent of Mavrocordato, Ulysses, Lord Byron, and the Greek Committee, when I was roused from my reveries by the thunder of the Nabob's chariot at my door. 130 and Mrs read the i it were It myself pregnant nmediatc a while, lat 1 was nj aspeet and Mrs atrimony g "in 3oniinie a finger ;hful eye jlackfoot rumina- easurable lich were d Byron, IS roused Nabob's THK LAST OF THE LAIRDS 131 1 was nuich surprised at this avatar, and no less at the friendly and familiar courtesy with which the great man addressed me. " I have come," said he, " to talk to you about a very ccmiieal affair, in which I may stand in need of some assistance, and you are the only man of any sense in the county." " Then you have never been in (Jreenock, I presume ? " " Oh yes, I have, though ! A very good sort of a town — plenty of punch and much jaw — quite edifying to hear the excellent character every one there gives of his neighbour — they have some fun too among them — one John Esdaile has long served them instead of Joe Miller — but I have n<> time at present to send for my friend the Bailie ; besides, he's not very portable, and I have left all my elephants in Bengal, where I had one that could have carried him." I was here so shocked at this personality that I almost fainted. I entreated him to forbear, and endeavoured to recall him from the digression into which he had so much the habit of falling, although he might have excused the objection- able exj>ression by making an apology, as is usual on such occasions. " Why, the business," said he, " is nothing less than a claim on more than half my fortune. I had a friend in India, one Tom Bayfield, who rose to the rank of Colonel in the Company's service. He married one day a very pretty girl. ■> J II , r,- 132 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS li,; M \ iiJ, !|i- w >.l ll M the daughter of my old chum, Dick Campbell ; they were very happy, and got three children between them. Tom was a devilish clever fellow, made upwards of ten lacs — and died suddenly. I was in Europe at the time, but in making his will he left me his execator ; and, failing his own children, his heir — for I had lent him a helping hand when he was only a cadet. Somebody, however, put mischief into the widow's head against me, as if her children had been cheated by this settlement, and she wrote me such vixen letters that I told her, but in polite terms, that she might go to the d — 1 ; although out of regard for her husband I did intend to adopt her son. Well, as ill-luck would have it, on receiving my letter, she was advised by some of her nincompoop relations in Bengal to ship herself and family for Europe, when, if she had stayed till a decent time after her husband's death, she would certainly have got married again ; but the ship was lost at sea, and it was supposed that every soul on board perished, so that I administered as heir to the Colonel. But the deuce is in't, there has been with me this afternoon a confounded im- postor, as I think, who says that he was in the ship with Mrs Bayfield and her family ; that the vessel was not lost, but burned ; and that he had saved her son Charles, whom I had intended to adopt. And what do you think .'' he brought a great lubberly boy, whom he called Charles, anil who was no more like the babe that 1 saw in the s THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 133 •ampbell : children er fellow, suddenly, laking his g his own a helping Jomebody, )w's head n cheated 5uch vixen ernis, that : of regard t her son. leiving my incompoop family for ecent time I certainly was lost ry soul on d as heir there has inded ini- Ivas in the that the lat he had itended to brought a larles, and saw in the arms of the ayah when I left India than an Arab is like a Caffre ; but certainly, considering the time tiiat has elaj)sed since I saw the child, it may have grown up to something like the size of the imj)ostor's brat. Now, what would you advise me to do in such circumstances? I don't want such proofs as the old Humbugs and Vakeels in Edinburgh would require ; but before a man ))arts with one half of his property just now, and make^ up his mind to leave the other at his death, it is but reasonable that he should know what he's about, and to whom he either gives the one or leaves the other. My friend l)r Dewai came home with a large fortune ; a writer's wife in Dundee p«ilmed herself on him as his near relation, and got the old fool to leave her a legacy of ten thousand pounds ; but when he died, and her husband had got the money, it turned out tliat her mother had been his mother s chambermaid, and so got acquainted with the secrets and connection of the family. How d — d foolish I should look if it were discovered after my death that I had been as silly .is Dewai ! 1 never knew such a silly fellow as Dewai. When I was re!?ident at Lucknow, he was surgeon to the Residency " Apprehensive that the Nabob was again digress- ing from the matter in hand, I brought him back to the point by asking if lie had examined tiie stranger as to any evidence in his possession of the facts he affected to state. - ■< I II A pi 4 v } I .:» im:> I ?■•' I 'I J^i t <» 1 1 ■r ] 1 r '■ 1 J 34 THE LAST OF THE LATRDS t( Oh, to do the fellow justice," replied the Nabob, " his story is plausible enough ; and he says he has some letters of my own to Mrs Bay- field, but which, out of regard for the boy he calls Charles, he will only show in the presence of witnesses — I like the fellow for his caution. I want, however, you and that very sensible lady, Mrs Soorocks, to come over in the morning, and tiff at Nawaubpore to-morrow, when we shall meet the fellow, and will be able to say some- thing more about it. 'Tis a d— d hard case, how- ever, to be plucked so unexpectedly, and that t()(» by one whom the unconscionable sea has given up, as it would seem, for the express purpose. It puts me in mind of a story which once happened in Calcutta. An officer was going up the country, and somewhere above Cossembazar, his budgerow was upset, and the Doudies all drowned ; he was liimself ashore at the time and so escaped. When he found what had happened, his business bein.fjf urgent, he got to the nearest village, where he procured some kind of conveyance to a station, and proceeded by Dawk. The vessel, however, was picked up ; and as he had not been heard of, it was presumed he had perished \''ith the rest. So his agents in Calcutta immediately mounted black waistcoats and entered a probate to his will. But lo and behold ! they received a letter from their late friend, dated at Agra, stating that as he had lost all his Shraub by the upsetting of his budgerow, he would thank them to send a fresh supply." r'^'^^v -'- II s plied the I ; and he Mrs Bay- le boy lie ! presence ;aution. I sible lady, rning, and we shall say some- case, how- id that too has given irpose. It ■ happened le country, budgerow d ; he was ed. When ness beinsf where he tation, and *vever, was leard of, it e rest. So nted black will. But from their ; as he had budgerov, iipply." THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 135 Here I f»mnd it necessary again to interrupt the Burrah Sahib by saying that I would not fail to be with him at the time proposed — asking him at the same time if he would take something after his ride. "Thank ye, my good sir," said he ; " I'll take a glass of brandy pawney, as the evening's hot." I immediately ordered the brandy and some spring-water fresh from the well. While pre- paring the beverage, he resumed — " The would-be-genteel coxcombs of Calcutta scout brandy pawney as vulgar, but we old sportsmen of the Mofussil know better than that comes to. " There's my worthy friend old Sir Thomas. When he came round to Calcutta, he took up his (juarters with old Frank at Barrackpore. Now the old peer always kept lots of the very best wines, chiefly French, and other thin potations^ that did not at all suit the tone of Sir Tom's stomach ; and still, by way of kindness, Frank used to ])ress him to drink every wine on the table. The Knight was obliged to comply from j)oliteness ; but often, while swilling the well- cooled stuff, he would sigh for this old friend the brandy-bottle. )ne day he got to Calcutta, and slipping (juietly on board of a Drughy, he pushed off for the ship which had brought him round from Bombay, and declared to the captain that he was apprehensive of a gangrene in iiis bowels from the gallons of sour trash he had swallowed ; \ I i \m ' 1 I'l ' i H . 1 m « i 1 ' ^i' • m\ \ A in HI y It 1 \ % m ■ ' 'I5 J I : % ' i i^ . 1 1 .4 f- 1 ' • 1 !i ^ i f 1 .'U) TUK LAST OF THF LATUDS and though it was only two o'clock i».m., the brace of tlicni s.'it down, and finished their ^in-tinnblers apiece, which the ujentlenian declared was the saving of his life. Oh, it's a famous thinjjf brandy pawney. I)r Jock, my worthy friend, recom- mended it both by prece|)t and exanjple. Hy-the- bye, .lock sent me out some of the d — d l)lack draught he's so fond of, when I some time ai^o felt myself bilious and (pieery ; but as I was well before it arrived, I thought it a pity such prnin] stuff should be thrown to the do<:;s; so I ordered a dose of it for my best China piuf, for it was then slightly indisposed, as a Cockney would say. And do you know, it poisoned her ! She died within the hour -d — d lucky I ditl not take it myself." Here the Nabob having finished his tumbler, rose, and recpiesting nu^ not to forget my appoint- ment, adding that he would send his carriage to fetch Mrs Soorocks, bade me irood-niirht. CIIAPTEIi xxviir I VVKN'I' by times next inorniiifr to the residence of Mrs Soorocks ; but on a|)[)roaehin^ the house, discovered many sij^ns which indicated that the lady could not conveniently accom|)any me. It was washing-day, and tin; little grass plat within the sweetbriar hedge between her house and the highroad was covered with all manner of female and household drapery. Ropes fastened in vari- ous directions to the iron railing, the lilac-trees, and the bolts and bars of the window-shutters, were festooned with shifts, sheets, and night- gowns, fixed on by split pieces of wood feruled with tin ; naj)kins and towels were spre^id upon the rose and gooseberry bushes ; and the large tablecloth, so adnv'-cd at her New-Year's-day festivals for its damasked views of Amsterdam in Holland, and other foreign cities, hung u[)on a sj)ecial cord, like a mainsail, letween the lime and the rowan tree a(!ross the p ith leading to the front door. Access at one eitrance being thus shut out, I was obliged to go round to the back of the hour.e, the great scene of the operations of the day. 187 ■i I * •V* J f D . Ml • 'W / . > J 1 ti i I i'. i 1 ilt h\ \ ! ■ } ' i 1 1 1 1 t-. 'i I 1 ; t ' ■ ir l.'JS THE LAST OF THR LAIUDS In front of tlie wasli-liouso, with kilted petti- coats, our old HC(]uaintan('e Loe/it' ravislnn«ifly "lap anr 11^ tritons iv wasli- lie cook, ni^h the Hid, Jean elevated cauldron x-lmxnn- ind to in- tlie same )earanee, wateriiij^- it do;vn ; uld walk on the h of tlie "But I [)t expect 'or we're wasliing ; si in the e o' sma' you men THE LA^ST OF THE LAIRDS I3i) are never fash'd wi', and some of ye even laugii at us drudginjr women. My dear Mr Sooroeks used to say in his jocosity, tliat twa washin*;s were ecjual to one whitewashing, twa whitewash- ings to one flitting, and twa flittings to one fire. Keally, I'm fash'd that I eanna go wi' you, and I wad fain stretch a point, if it were possible, for the Nabob's cold collations are verra nice, and he's himsell so much o' the gentleman. Hut dear me, isna that his carriage coming alang the road ? — it's no in possibility to come up to the door, and I hae naebody to gang to the yett to sj)eak to that grr.n fitmaii. Lee/ie, j)ut yoursell right — step out o' the boyne as fast as you're able, an(f say I'm dressing; for I maun go noo, since he has sent the coach on purpose." Accordingly, while Leezie went round to the gate, taking time to adjust her own af)[)arel, which was no more in a state to receive visitors than that of her mistress, Mrs Sooroeks went into the house, and in less time than could reasonably have been expected (she is a clever woman), re- turned a lorned for the visit. As so m as we were seated in the carriage, I re'ated with some degree of minuteness what the N^ibcb had told me of the state of his feelings towards the family of Colonel Bayfield. " Weel," said the lady at the conclusion, " I aye said that Nawaubpore had a generous heart, for a' his vanity and ostentation ; but it will be a dreadfu' thing if a man like him — so kind a it. ■ i ''M * (f 1 k li ll< '( <, ; 1 1 I m f;.- J N I i' !' Hi 1 - 1 1 , !■! 1 1 ^ ;i r' ! \ liO THK LAST OF THE LAIRDS niMglilxnir, .'iiul wlio ni.iy bo a blessing to the ('()imtry-si(U' — sboiild bi* iin|)<>vt'risboe to be present this day nt the jn'eeorrnition, it may be put in my power to return his eondeseension." " But surely, Mrs Sooroeks, if the ease is elearly made out that the bov is the son of Colonel I?av- field, you would not think of interceptinjyf the just intentions of Mr Rupees ? " *' * If s a word o' j)()wer. It's no in the eourse o' nature, sir, that a shij) burned at sea, and all hands on board perished, should send forth a leevin' witness to eontradiet tlie fact." " True ; but it wt)uld appear that all on board had not perished." "Now that's what I'll no credit, and I'll gie you the reason of my misdoubt. Wha's the testimony .'* A land-louper that naebotly kens ony thing about. Ah ! sir, if ye had sic experience of the devices of man that I liae had, ye wadna be sae credulous. A man cimiing out o' the deej) like a Robinson Crusoe, wi' a white Friday, to claim awa' the biggest half o' a gentleman's fortune — it's just a thing for playactors, and the likes o' Sir Walter, to mak a clishmaclaver o' ; but amang people o' understanding it will be seen through, as a contrivance begotten in sin and brought forth in iniquit}'." *' There are many circumstances in the story/' to tlu" ail iin- wsiy lie einiiant 10 to be may be on. i clearly lel Hay- tbc just ' course and all forth a n board I'll gie la's the [y kens )erience * wadna le dee}) day, to eman's find the Lver o' ; be seen in and THK LAST OF THK LAIRDS 1 U said I, ''singular an(! almost improbable, I :idmit. But Mr Coball, the stranger, appeared to me a man of unaffected sincerity - warm in his feelings and sim])lc in his manners. " " Simple manners ! Verily, verily, that shows how an author may be versed in books, but scant of experience resj)ecting the nudtifarious crooked- nesses of a wicked world. Did ye no hear o' the leesin' ^ makin' that I was made the innocent victim ()', nae farther gane than last ye;ir, when the ne'er-do-weel wi' a blackit face came through the kintra, makin' a wally-waeing about how he was blawn up in a bombshell by the Algerines .'* I had my (loots o' the story when he cam to my door, though he made it be as very true-like a tale as your condisciple from the uttermost ends o' the earth tells his; but no to be thought a'thcgither hard-hearted, I put doon a sixpence in his book o' beggary, wi' my name til't. And what do ye think the graceless Gehazi did .'' He gaed to Widow M4*looky's public, and waur'd the six- pence on gills; so, waurin the sixpence on gills, he forged ten shillings before my six[)ence, makin* il look in the book like half-a-guinea. Then he gaed. to Mrs Scuitles, and she seeing my name (loon for ten shillings and sixpence, and knowing me for a woman o' moderate means, and o' a sifting and discerning spirit, she put doon hersel for a whoixi guinea. Syne he gaed to auld Leddy Uoughills, and she, no to be behint-hand, gied ^ Lctsin'. Lyinj^. ll.., K\ 1 1 i I'" III i i fi ' s;l > ■;, MMdmrmnnw* ■-i-rt«r'i>*^trt**i- ■ -.-ww^-Mi^i J' ; I' I ur\. ■J ■ 1 Jl k 142 THR Iw\ST OF Tlll<: LAIIMKS him HiuttiuM* ^iiiiuNi ; and then hr ventured to my h>rd's, wlia \vi' his thiehters eould do iiae Ickh than double (he exam|)U*. Ihil as he was on his way to the Nahoh, tlie drink tor of eourse lie had heen (h'y hy tl»e way took his liead, and he fell on the road at the loll, where he was kent, and there brouirht to light ; for in dighling his faee, he (lighted all' th<> eork «'oom, and stood he- fore the toll-k(>e|)er a hareffu-ed malefaetor. Think what 1 was ohliged to endin*e, wi' tlur wile o' being sueh a simpleton as to gie hiu) sueh a Iov<;- gift largess ! ^'e see what it is to believe stories o' folk blawn up in the air, and what ye'rc like to get for your pains. " " Von have eertaiidy assigned, Mrs Sooroeks, very gooil and sutlieient reasons for doing nothing rashly ; 1 have, however, no apprehension that Mr Hupees will sutler himself to be easily deeeived. " " He'll no be alloo'd, were he ever sai- willing, if I hae t)ny voiee. It wou'd be even-doon annpox luculos to give ear to the tale o' .i .lonah frae the whale's belly; but whisht, whisht, for iiere's the house, and there's ane o' the heathens leadin' Mr Caption's whuskey to the stables. VVeel, I'm glad o' that; indeed, it wasna to be thoeht that a man o judgnu'nt and sensibility like Nawaubpore would be eontent on sie an oeeasion wi' the like o' you, or even me, to bear witness." .1 1 1 red to ll.'U* ICKR iH on lijs •iirHr \\v and Uv IS kciif, lin^ Ins Inod hv- I'hink wilo o" I a lovc- • stories '. liUc to norooks, nothing that Mr willing, I campo.s tVae the rr's the din' Mr in ^l.id that .1 uibporr [lie like VAWV'VVAi XXIX \ In hciti^ shown into the hhrary, we foiiud ahTady hi lore us Mr Cohall, with a small red h-alhcr hrass-nailcd Irunk in his hand, and the l)(»y at his sichr seated on a sola, 'j'he Nahoh was at the writin^-lable opposite, with Mr Caption at his rif^ht hand. The reeej)tion of Mrs Sooroeks was particularly ^raeions, nor had I cause to (;oni- plain of any deficiency of heartin(;ss in mine. 'I'he proc(;edin^s were opened hy a summary statement <)f the whole story from the Nahoh, who on this occasion showed hotii his shrewdiuss and good sense as a man of business ; he made no digressions, but concluded with re(juesting Mr Cohall to j)roduce his voucln^rs. 'I'Ik; red <'asc was accordingly imclosed, '.\\\<\ the letters laid on the table. 'J'h(^ Nabob took them up one by one; and, having look* d at them carefully, was on the point, as I thougjit, of acknowledging at once their authenticity, when Mr ( aption said, who probably thought the same thiiiiT — It is not enouirh to be cert ini is to the writing 1 ,1 I [\ i i : 1 h — look at the paper ; the seals do not appear to nie 143 ■^f i I I u Till''. LAST Of TMK l,AIHI»S ; Ik „l I { >i< .'IS ii' tlu'y wiTc ( XfU't iinpn ssions ol ;iii original svi\\." The* N.'iltol) knit liis hious. Iiiil in.ulr no answer. Ilrrc Mrs Sooroeks st(<|i|K'(l loi-WMnl, and lill in<; one oC I lie Irltcrs, looked at llir sral, and saiil " It's my opinion lliis is no wax i\\ a", ImiI fidillcr's roscll. wi* ^old f'oil/ic in't, anvell : 1 bought it at Il.iz.iribaug ; .and the paper is Chinese I brought from India with )S III original no aiiswrr 1, and lift seal, anil at a', bill iihI oil ! il irvrr wrilc I, and Mrs liani conn >n, " nii_t',l>l nittin;^, lor • jrciniiiH'. iich Icttns ontcnts, lo )ns-niin(l«'(l cried Mrs s I hat stole What use confossi'd r what dis- id tuniini; the wax, hanjif ; and India with T&v TIIK LAST or TNK LAIKDH I ir. nio. Moreover, oti refereiiee to my Dawkhook now helore me, I liiid that the dates agree." •• Ihit," Ur added. a ; the list. B name of hat ye are lies Coball ; evidence ut after a produced •e is truth itor of the whole cir- ;iiough to Bayfield's hen I add with us in the hoat, and particularly the officer to whom we were all so much indebted, are alive, and I be- Heve are at this time in England, it would seem to me that beyond a decent investigation of the facts there would be little honour or honesty in resisting the claim." The Nabob looked at me and said— " He's an honest man, after all." " Dinna be deceived, Nawaubpore," exclaimed Mrs Soorocks ; " for there's mair depends upon this matter than being beguiled wi' a blackened ne'er-do-weel, as I was, ye ken, last year." Tlie Nabob turned to Caption. " Ought we not immexliately to institute an inquiry to find those witnesses ?" "No, sir," replied Caption, with a professional smirk. " No, sir, the onus probandi lies with this gentleman, who hatli spontaneously placed him- self in loco pciretitis ti) the infant." " Ye're a man o' observation, Mr Caption," cried Mrs Soorocks, her countenance brighten- ing with satisfaction. " Ye're a man o' observa- tion. I'll say naething concerning the sincerity o' lawyers' bosoms ; but I aye thocht there was something in your head, whatever ill-natured folks might say to the contrair." The lawyer took no notice of this remark, \.hieh, like nu/st of the good lady's compliments, cut botfi ways, but resumed — " It is n be expected that the respondent is to furnish the pursuer with evidence ; even the I 1 1 ■f ^ m if- W r ' ill m f i K ' l«t ' i 1 1 \ 1 1 •v I. -I iW ilfr m ■ i r 1 ' ' '] 1 u 148 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS Jury Court would hardly recjuire anything so un- reasonable." "Hut, Mr Caption," .said the Nabob, "it ni;iy turn out in tliis case that I am both plaintiff* and defendant; and all I require is full and sufficie .i proof — for another heir may make his appearance. I wish I had ( rai^jfdarroch with me to set us on ;i proper train ; but, d — n him, he's doing patriot just now, and humbug,i>inet us on ;i ing patriot mpoops of fresh from >e content ; drink, nnd ml sound rr lid after a once coii- "if he's a ome credit ir than can forty.' " ses no good to myself, mortgage lo notice of to stay the ^ misjudged in writing, writing to THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 14.9 "O Mr Roopy ! — Nawaubpore, as I should say/' exclaimed Mrs Soorocks, " baud your han' and be melted to tender mercies, or what will become o' the puir auld man i Work he canna, and want he maunna — he'll be a burden upon us all, and little do ye ken o' the woe ye may bring upon a most excellent woman ; for he's on the point of marriage wi' Miss Shoosie Minnigaff, ane ()' the amiabk' leddies o' Barenbraes. Slie'll dee o' a broken he.irt, if she doesna lay violent hauns on hersell." This sad and gentle aj)peal, instead of produc- ing the desired effect on the Nabob, only served to make him burst into an immoderate fit of l.uigliter. " Married ! tlie old guddah ! and to one of those camelopards too ! Who the devil ccmtrived this hopeful union? It must have been yourself, Mrs Soorocks ; for it never coukl have entered into the heart of man — of any man — to marry a crane — an adjutant is cor})ulent compared to her. VVhy, my good lady, if the worst comes to the worst, he can only simply be starved ; but if you I benevolent scheme were accomplished, he would be starved anil pecked to boot. But this long sederunt, as you would call it, Mr Caption, will go well nigh to starve us all, so I shall order dinner. Mr Coball, do you, as soon as possible, procure the necessary evidence. You may rest assured that there shall be no unnecessary or vexatiou- delay on my part — only make good ytmr .■V IL I k « 'fl « li !■ ; i 4 I 1 .50 TlIK LAST OF Til 10 LAFROS proofs, and I shall hv (loli_ij;hlc(l to a property— and sic a property — without being obligated according lo law ! I ken advocates in I^mbro, Nawaubporc, that could keep the case in Court for a' your days. 'I'here's my frien'- -Hut I'll mention nae names." Here dinner was announced, and we adjourned to the ban(pieting-room. mmitm^imsmm CHAPTER XXX IN KXT morning, airrccably to aji ajjpointmcnt wliicli I had made with Mrs Soorocks as vvc came home to^etluT in tlie Nal)()h's c'.'irriavr .•ire /l^rnls, v.usimI n|>. t\^ W Wi'vr, liKr l).il»cs mihI sinKlinm to bvinii '*''*' "*"' '* ''"' I"'"'"' «» l»oniI.un\ I In Mliii'h in nn oninitni is lite drlHors holr in lln- Tollxiolh. il MMur Ih.in i',ipli\it\ \y^\•r nol lo Ix Ins lol." " 1 .'Vjx»r«\ n».i .nn. in .ill \« nt-njUind mit r,'i|>;il»lc o| doinji !\ (lisinlcnstnl .ulion. "Ill niMlv" n.U' rouse «»' nusrll." vrplicd llir l;ul\, " l>\it I Ken < ho scercls o in\ t^w \\ Imtm'.I . :\\u\ tho 1 dinn.i wish to liohlly vom- lovinii KintI n«'ss il spnnK o i'uriosilv Ih.il h.'js Iu'IjhmI [o ]\c;\[ tho ,'.i\il o' yoin* disint(M(^slc(l iirss : tor 1 h.n r nMn.nkrd 1 nic.in n.u' oUcmr ih.il >(' h.u' .« |>.nti«'nl.'n- |)l(\Msin<' in lookin' into {\w c;\\;\s\ro\\]\cs o' \\\\cy folks. Vov my p.n-l, I ;nn ih.inktu to \\;\\\\ Mi' ;« Innnhlo h«\nl and a fontril*^ spirit ; tor it' irooi\ oonic o" my sma' rnd('av«»in'. siiro 1 am tliat nano o' tho morit thorool Can he rtttrihutotl t<> mo." Thus piously tlisoouvsint;, \v«' ploddod onward to tho iloor ot' Haronbraos ; and. as it was ayrcu d botwoon lis, I ontorod first, and thus npoiiod tho bu sin OSS - ** Ivftdios. 1 havo broutiht with mo a porsoii >vhom wo havo all jjroat roason io ostoom. V.wv sinoo sho had tho mistortuno to inour your !^' A . "WBEn^jSV* s »« , would re JiiitMil -. mirKlill|r; nl.ijin'. III! «1« ill (In nol In Itr iMosI • •! r^ 1 ii 111 \ i i < u :. 1 ( It ^» I. VI. TUK LAST OF TIIIO Iw\firF)S li.-is coinr to hcfj; my p.'inlon, she'll find lli.it i'lj no Ix* ins(M)sit)l<' to the dishononr she has l>i'on^hl upon hrrsril, ' " She comes to he^ y<»'ir p.M'don, hiil you nnisl not us(» sneh words as dishonour when we are treating of |)(>aee. Mrs Sooroeks, do you ask pardon of the ladis," said Mrs Sooroeks, "since it ujaini be sa(\ what can we I Ih.it I'll s hroiiglil you iniist II wv iwv you ask I oil your »lli s'hU's ? el ion, IT >(*oinn)(Mi(l " siiK'c il lit ? Tho- llic sore lU'c it's a' III l^'njrlisli hat's past, I " ids. should bo >hoosic, if s Soorocks iloof from r ill your lias been on of Mr Shoosie ; c and my ight, you iierccnarv % \vs THK LAST OF THE LAIRDS ' ' ti ' 1 ! I' I ni- It ' t ■ ■ r ^ M ,* If i'ii ; I; i ' ' ..«.! ^f^ charity on the present oceasion a bit and a l)iilVet wi't, but speak him kindly ; for oh ! lie's helpless, and far past the power o' Jenny Clatterpans anted. Blamed. 1)8 tid a buffet ''s helpless, terpans and fh we baith ! shoothers, tumbler o' the words THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS ].>() This sad aceouiit of the Laird's eondition had the effect of embarrassing^ us both ; and on leavin^r the simple and faithful creature, we proceeded towards "The Place," without exchan^ring a word, or making a single comment on what we had heard. it when ye lat ye hae s gaun to I, and this jrkey-cock erpans and awa, and liar wi* our I thocht— !ome upon tting; and lity speerit gh wages, rae aff" the em, I beg , and mak' iinned ! — )o ! " ^1'; \'\ is in I'- \ .1 . t ]s 1. * Ij 1 'I i::J 1 MH • l'' r- -1 III ,'.. -I I 'I ■i I'-l ^1 CHAPTER XXXI ( JN approaching the door, Jenny Clatterpans was standing there, and from time to time she looked towards the garden ; the other maid was also visible behind her, and every now and then took a peep in the same direction. The aspect of Jenny was visibly troubled, nor did her companion's M^ear a more tranquil exjjression ; but still the countenances of both betokened something which commanded deference to their feelings. Whether Mrs Soorocks felt exactly as I did, it were impossible to determine by anything in her voice or gestures ; but she abruptly left me and went towards the maids. At the same moment 1 happened to turn round, and discovered the Laird walking to and fro in the garden, with his hands behind, his eyes perusing the grass of tlie walks, and his whole figure, by the bend and by the solemnity of his air, indicating the i)er})lexity of his spirit. I went immediately towards him, none dis- pleased at that moment to be relieved from the presence of Mrs Soorocks. 1 put on the blithest face I could assume, and tuned my voice to THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 161 erpans was slie looked 1 was also [ then took asj)ect of lompanioii's it still the hing whieh as I did, inything in y left me [lie moment overed the n, with his rass of the nd and by })eri)lexity none dis- 1 from the he blithest : voice to cheerfulness as I drew near to the dejected old man. But although he saw me coming, and nodded in his wonted familiar manner as I approached the walk which he was pacing, he soon relapsed into his reverie and moved along unconscious of being so observed. I stopped some ten or fifteen yards from him ; I looked forward, and the distress of iiis mind, tliough visibly mingled witli a strong ingredient of absurdity, was yet such as could not be seen witliout sympathy. As he walked along the dark unmowed grass he paused suddenly, and stooping forward he pulled a rose. " It's my ain yet," said he with a smile, as he turned round, and smelling it, held it out towards me. " It has grown in my forefathers' land," he added; "I set it mysell — I made the hole fort wi' my ain very fingers — I watered it wi' the china jug that was my father's punch-porringer, as 1 hae heard my kind mother say — and whnt can be a man's ain if that bush and bud be na mine .'' " Then he moved some four or five paces, and tearing the flower into pieces, he scattered the j)etals around ; and knitting his brows and clench- ing his hands, he rushed with his left hand ex- tended, as if he entreated and deprecated some afflicting power revealed in form only to himself. It is the peculiar characteristic of all grief-ful emotions to move and gesticulate with the left VOL. n. L t it V. •'V ( V M '• H^ tl I 1 Hi TIIK LAST OK TIII<: LAIHDS 'i H I h i ■I f I' il l(.( 1 '* K. I \\- arm, as in likt* inanncr it is for those of power am! exertion to indicate their |)rt*(h)niinanee hv tlie energy anil emphasis ot tht; ri^hl. W'lien tliat brief ])aroxysni liad subsided, h( nturnetl leisurely and sedately to\yar(ls the; spot whert^ I >vas slandinjj;. " Is then; no a jjossible o' ony kind by tin whieh this »\iay be eschewed?" lie si-emed to think (by the o\j)ressioM) th.il 1 imist of course be accjuainted with the cause and sourc(\s of his trouble, and had his pcrturh.i- tion been less obviously painful, jierhaps I miivlii liave play<>d a little with his perj)lexities ; but his look >vas so vacant atul infant llir Ml-'il it \vas im- possible to ri'^ard him with any otjier senlinieiil "I undeMitliit," Mill! 1. "Iliiil iln' ^Mliiili li'. rcsoht'd lit lollow out his determination. I am sorry for it, bul lii'< own condition half pleads in extenuation of Ips ngn(||-.'' "U was a luckless (|iij ," UHs iiie answtr, *' when the thread of \\\y life was ravelled wi' his knotty Ihrunjs— my lot and station, thoin^li lanerly, «as h»>vii' -I had nae law fashin' nic, but oidy an uncertainty about a bit heritahlc b»)nd that in a sense wasna >vorth the speaking alntut. Noo, I'm driven to desperation. 'J'hcrc s that limb o' Sa^an, Caption, greetiii' in the kin^ s name ; there's John An.<^le, the surveyor, demand- ing a compensation ; and there's that gooldcii ^ Lanerly . . . loivn. Lonoly . . . soreno. ?1 I ►s of |Hnv(i- linanci' In hsidfd, lu Is the s|)()l \n\ by lli( issiojj) tli.tl the (•.iiisc s |)('rtiirl>.i- ps 1 ini,i>lit rs ; l)nl liis it wiis iin- r si'iilinuiil Nilh(t|» ll.r- tion. I .1111 If plojuls ill lie ansut r, ravtllt'd \\'\ ion, tli<»iij>li i'asliin' iiu>, lit heritabli' u- spoakinsi in. TluMt^ n tlie kin.i;^ lor, deniaiid- at gooldcii 3rcno. TUK LAST OF TIIIO LAIIM)S i(i:; imaged' Nt l)iichadiicd/or, Htipccs. Oh, oh, and alas ! if I wasna preserved, I wild (h'oon niyscll. My hook I eamia write to work I'm no able - lh«' eiir.s(> o' (iilbert, when he was a beg;,^ar-inan, Ijas overtaken nu' ; for wlien the three pound in the y hart; grey head in the shower. — Heaven preserve me, will I be sittin' beggin' at my ain yett !" The last senten(;e was uttered with a tone of horror that made me shudder, anti I said — " Mr Mailings, do not give way to such fright- ful presentiment >; I bcseeeh you to be more eomposed. ' • I" 1* ill ' 11 I'll i I •IK (Hi' !^^ . .* ') ^m ; i f i ' ! 'A J i' ' I ! lli.:'l " u I' It' ( L ' \ < \ 1,1 ; ii! y lii" 'I 164 THE LAST OF THE LATRDS " I'll be j)ut in a prison," cried he. '^ I'll be fastened doon wi' an airn chain in the debtor's- hole — but what will they mak by that ? for I hae naething — the dyvor's bill can do nae glide to a failed and broken-hearted auld beggar-man. To be sure, I might steal cocks and hens and be sent to Botany Bay ; but what could I do there. O dear ! I wish I was in another world, for my use and part in this world is done now." He then walked away from me, and continutMl for several minutes pacing another part of the garden. Sometimes he halted and raised his hand, as if he were arguing with himself; anon he quickened his pace ; and at last he turned briskly round, and came rushing towards me with exultation in his countenance. " I hae found a redemption," he exclaimed. ** I'll marry Miss Shoosie Minnigaff. She has goold in goupens. I hae heard my mither say there wasna sic a plenished napery-kist as the ane at Barenbraes in a' the west o' Scotland ; and if I dinna like her, ye ken, she'll hae the means of providing hersell wi' a separate maintenance. " So intense had been the distress of the old man that I really felt as it Avere relieved when he proposed to adopt this sinister and sordid expedient ; and in consequence — it may be not in a spirit of the purest morality — I applauded his resolution, and began to commend the merits and qualities of the lady with many a magnifying augmentative. " I'll be 3 debtor' s- lat ? for 1 nae glide iggar-mjiii. hens and :oiild I do :her world, le now." [ continued )art of the raised his nself; anon he turned •ds me with exclaimed. She has mither say as the ane tland ; and the means itcnance." of the old eved when and sordid nay be not applauded the merits I magnifying THE LAST OF THP] LATRDS 1 65 At this juncture, Mrs Soorocks joined us; it was evident by her manner as slie aj)proached tliat the servants had very sensibly affected her compassion, and '.er exhilaration was at least ecjual to mine when I told lier that the Laird had resolved to marry Miss Shoosie. " It's a wark — " said he, iiowever, with a sigh. "And of mercy to yoursell, Laird, that ye'll alloo. But no to mak mair clishmaelaver about it, I expect my friend Bailie Waft frae Paisley in the afternoon ; so ye' 11 come ower and tak your tea and a crack wi' him, and I'll send for the leddies, and we'll soon get a' settled." " It's a soor drogue,^ mem," replied the Laird ; " but the ill and the ail need the dose. I canna but say that it's a most extraordinar tliintr that a man hasna a choice o' his ain in clioosin' the wife of his bosom. That weddings are made in Heaven it's ill to believe, if I'm ordained to be brocht to sic a puir pass as this comes to ! To think that ever I should hae been brocht to marry such a grey gull as Shoosie Minnigaff ! It's an iniquity — it's a cryin' sin — it's a sell in' o' me to the Ismaelites. D— 1 tak baith law and gospel, I'll no marry her yet." "But consider," cried Mrs Soorocks, "there's Mr Caption " " Whare }" cried the Laird, starting and look- ing round. "And Mr Angle," resumed the lady, "demanding, 1 Hoor droijue. Sour drug. fi M « vl V Ml % i 1^ I i 1 ; 1^ ■ -J 3 I ;» ( ' t '' ! . ' ' « 166 THE L^ST OF THE LAIRDS as I am told, t <'nty golden guineas for his curiosity." " He may thank the Govennnent," replied the Laird, " that it's an impossibility to get thein. Wasna the guineas put doon and hidden frae the light o' day and the sight and reach o' man in the bottomless dungeons o' the Bank o' England, like prisoners doomed to everlasting captivity ; a' to let the King raise money by a Stamp Act on bank-notes, by the which " Here the old man was getting on his hobby, when Mrs Soorocks interfered — " Hoot toot, Laird, we dinna want to hear o' your standard unit the noo, when we're speakin' o' marriage — so ye'll just come to your tea and meet your blooming bride. Leave a' the lave <»' the trouble to folk that utiderstand thae matters better than youi'sell." s for his splied the ret theiii. n fnie the o' man in EngUind, ptivity ; a' np Act on his hobby, to hear o' •e speakin' ur tea and the lave o' ae matters 'P CHAPTER XXXII At the time appointed, and punctual to the hour, I was at tlie door of Mrs Soorocks. My friend Leezie admitted me with a pleasant and sii;nificant smile. I was desirous of saying some- tliing to her on the occasion, but the parUnir door being open, I could only smile in return and walk forward. On entering the room, I was delighted to see the Laird in full dress, and the two ladies of Barenbraes all tliere before me. Miss Shoosie was sitting far aloof with downcast eyes, and looking interestingly bridal to the best of her ability. The air of Miss Glrzie was more disen- gaged ; and she was seated beside the Laird, seemingly on terms of easy conversation. Mrs Soorocks herself was busy spreading and cutting down the greater part of a large loaf As the entertainment was of a pre-nuptial character, it was of course of more than wonted ceremony ; and accordingly the tea-table dis- played a more than usual show of shortbread, puffs, and seed-cake, to which were added the delicacies of jellies and marmalades. 107 ' \ m \fim ■s. •4 I ) \^ ji !B ^' ! 1 1 "i lip I I i!i'i|- 1()S Tin: LAST OF rUK LAIRDS A little behind Mrs Soorocks, and not observ- able on first enlerintj; the room, her cousin Haili*- Waft was seated, refreshinir hinjself after his walk with a ^lass of whisky and water sweetened with Muscovado siij^ar. ''Dear me, Hailie," exclaimed Mrs Soorocks, lookin«jf round after I was seated, " what have I been about no to ^ie you a lime, when I hac fvoi five left o' the half a-dizzen that was sent to me bv the earner frae our frien' Mrs Puncheons? What dainties thae West hidia folk in Cilasi^ow enjoy ! Hiey weel ken hoo In m/dv' tiirtIe-soii|) wi' Madeira wine, and no like the lady o' their I'ort, that boiled a whole turtle-fish wi' b/irley, and Avas feared to eat it, thinkin' it w/isna whole- some because it didna tiu'n red in the shell like a partan." So sayinjr she rose, and o})cnin^ her cupboard door, took out a lime from five lyin^ in a small china plate, shrivelled on the skin, and as brown as walnuts. By-the-bye, Mrs Soorocks' cuj)board was what in Renfrewshire is called a dininpf-room press, being one of those domestic nuiscums peculiar to the royal county, and as hers was an example of the kind, it well deserves to be particularly described. The foldinpf-doors disclosed an arched niche, with pilasters on each side. The shelves were scolloped in the edges, the whole painted of a bright green, and the edges of the shelves and vM I)S TTIIO LAST OF THK LAIRDS KJf) not obscrv- tiisin H.'iilir f after his • sweetened s Sooroeks, I hat have I tlieii I hac \vas sen I In I'linelieoiis ? in (ilasnow lMrlU'-s(>ii|) idy «>' Iheir \\i' l)/iiley, /isn/i whoK'- sheil like n jr cupboard in a small u\ as l)r()\vM .1 was what ooni press, IS peeiiliar |ui example :)artieu]arly lied niche, lelves were [inted of a helves and tlie capitals of the pilasters were gaudily tricked and gilded. On the l)ul«;in^ centre of tin; first slwlf lay inverted a larn(> pnneh-howl, on the bottom of which stood one of lesser dimensions, out of which rose a curious cordial-bottle with two lu-cks. The bowl was flanked with a row of lon;r-shanked wine-i^lasses, with white sj)iral ornamenis in the stalks, and at the extremity of each win^^ stood a tall urn-like china pot with a lid. In the obscurity Ixhii.'l the glasses you miirlit discover a row of china plates on their ed^es ; and above eaffi, on a brass-n.'.il, hiniw were a(i(;r/ied with the tall spiral-stalked glasses already described ; on each of these projections two rniddb', ized punch-bowls were inverted, the bottou' of eaeli surmounted with a china teapot of an antic and fantastical form ; in the centre was a vacant place, generally oceuj)ied by the silver teapot then uf)on the table ; at each side of it usually stood a lofty porcelain tower of teacups and saucers — but one of them was at this time demolished, and placed on the tray for the use of the company. A variety of minor bijoutry and wine-glasses filled up the interstices. The centre of the third shelf again projected, I ! f\ I It \ » 1 m^jlm^ 'i • IJ'I f\ ' n f '11 « I i*';''l n. M \ 'U \ < \ i> ■h i ■ K > >l -ill ,1 I' ■I \i •!' I Ml 'm ,V'. •i'l II 170 THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS and on it stood a stately crystalline structure, consisting of several stories of syllabub-glasses, crowned with a large and lofty shallow goblet, which at the New-Year festival of Mrs Soorocks, when the whole power and splendour of her cuj)- board were made effective, was usually occupied with a venerable preserved orange — a gift of some years' antiquity from one of her nieces, confected a priori to her own wedding. On each side of this glittering and fragile pile stood a miscellaneous assemblage of marrowless cups, cracked cream- pots, and ale-glasses, flanked by two enormous goblets with the initials of the late Mr Soorocks engraved thereon. Like many of the other things, they were never used, save on the great annual banquet so often referred to ; on which occasion the one was filled with ale and the other with porter after dinner. The tea-um having been brought in, Mrs Soorocks said — " As ye're the young leddy, Miss Girzie, yell mak the tea ; " and so saying she rose from her chair at the tea-table, and then came and seated herself beside the Laird, while I drew my chair close to the left of Miss Girzie ; her sister also moved in echelon upon her right. Miss Girzie having lifted one of the little silver tea-canisters, began to take out the orthodox quantity with a spoon, by one spoonful for the teapot, and one for each guest. During this process I heard the intended bride whisperingly le structure, iibub-glasses. lUow goblet [rs wSoorocks, r of her cup- illy occupieil gift of some es, confected each side of niscellaneous eked creani- vo enormous Mr Soorocks other things, great annual lich occasion 3 other with ht in, Mrs Girzie, veil >se from her and seated w my chair r sister also ; Httle silver le orthodox iful for the During this vhisperingly THE LAST OF THE LAIRDS 171 i sav, "Girzie. dinna be wasterfu' ; shake the spoon, and iiu heap every ane as if it were a cart o' lay. Tea being made, the task of handing it round was im|X)sed upon the Laird ; he being, as Mrs .Soorocks observed, the young man of the company, though this chronologically w;is not exactly the fact. During the time the entertainment was being served, our conversation was «»l' a general and ordinary description, liailie Waft talked political economy, and argued with the Laird against the corn laws ; Mrs Soorocks expatiated on the felicity of the married state ; while I said agreeable things to Miss Girzie, interspersed with exhilarative allu- sions in parenthesis to her sister. So passed the time till tea was finished, and when the equipage was removed by Leezie and the door shut, Mrs Soorocks thus began the pro- logue to the matrimonial theme : — " I have long wished to see such a meeting as the present. Time wears out all things, and lairds and ladies are like the flowei's that bloom and plants that perish — creatures of a day, and butterflies o' the sunshine. It has often been a wonder to me how year after year should have passed away, and the affection so long nourished in secret atween — I'll no say wha- should never hae come to an issue." The Laird hemmed sceptically, and Miss Shoosie looked for her pocket-hole, no doubt i^ ti i< / \\ ■ IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) I I ,.'