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^\^^J{) 
 
 (3D I? Tffli 
 
 REPRODUCED FROM 
 
 (The iitontrcal Cttav/' 
 
 \ 
 
-^ t - ^ 
 
 53453 
 
 BY=T()WN COONS 
 
 REPRODUCED FHOM 
 
 THK MONTREAL STAR. 
 
 '< 
 
:,\ 
 
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 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 AN ORATOR-IOBY THE GOVERNMENT LAURIER-ATE. 
 
 KReproduetii from Thf MonUeal PiUly StarA 
 
 You may talk of Hilly Hryati, who grew 
 
 faiiiotis liy a Bptrch, 
 Ux tcM how tni>{lity (ilailstoue could the heart 
 
 of ICiiKlfiii'l reach ; 
 Demosthenes you may extol— ami also youug 
 
 Mrliines; 
 "Joe Howe," Mc(»ee, ami Thompson— though 
 
 they were all "aKiti us." 
 Hut at utilizing rhetoric, at profiling by "gab," 
 This Young Tribune of the I'eople is something 
 
 of a " dab." 
 I made my way by talking tu the Mberal 
 
 leadership, 
 And carried the elections by nsiH-cchifying trip. 
 
 I'nr I am the man with the Silver Tongue, 
 
 Also, the Sunny Ways— 
 I've cliniljed the ladder rung by rung; 
 
 I've found that talking jiays. 
 
 lUit there's more in public speaking than the 
 
 touching of Ihc heart — 
 Ofcimrse I'm not referring to the eloquence 
 
 of Tarte- 
 He has a way of " touching " folks in quite a 
 
 different place. 
 He'll go und promise sonieting while this 
 
 minstrelsy I grace. 
 lint what I meant to speak of is ;t habit i)eople 
 
 nourish. 
 Of ex])ecli:ig you to mean the things you 
 
 ntter with a flourish. 
 Thus when I told the farmers— "I'm a Demo- 
 crat to the hilt, ' 
 Some thought the words were golden, and 
 
 sulk because they're gilt. 
 
 This is like to tarnish the Silver Tongue — 
 
 To cloud the Sunny Ways ; 
 What orator's heart would not be wrun^ 
 
 If required to mean each phrase ? 
 
 ) 
 
 « 
 
T 
 
 
 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 AN ORATOR-IO BY THE GOVERNMENT LAURIER-ATC. 
 
 I Reproduced from The .Vonireal Paiiy Star, ) 
 
 I have a patent tlieorv. which \W put into n 
 
 bill— 
 If I bad not Ifitnu'il the proneiit-sft <tf the 
 
 Sfnators to kill — 
 KfC|uirin>r that all t*lnc|iiftire lie taken on the 
 
 spot ; 
 None ninv tante (»f it when "ohi — we must 
 
 nlwiivH serve it hot. 
 To twit a politioian on a H|M-ei'h hut two (la>s 
 
 old. 
 I'd ptininh with n iliet o| inntton chops j^rown 
 
 cold, 
 An<l. if a resurrectionist h.ick of '96 should ({o. 
 I'd chain hitn in a j;rave\ard near n Collejje 
 
 Medico, 
 
 Then could I wa^ the Silver Tongue. 
 
 \,vX shine the Sunny ways — 
 (iet Ilnnsiird into the furnace fluuK. 
 
 And live rhetorical days. 
 
 Still it's true, I must confess, talk pays 
 
 better than you think ; 
 It*s rtstounijini; what the jK'oplc will gulp down 
 
 without a hlink, 
 Take tliose earnest I'leltisciters, whoni I met 
 
 the other day — 
 They haven't raised a rip])le since they crossed 
 
 my Sunny way. 
 Should yon ask me of the tariff, or the money 
 
 we have spent. 
 I would draw myself up proudly the insult 
 
 to resent. 
 I'm n master hand at i>iis~ion, appeal, and 
 
 scorn, and fury; 
 I practisi' on the country what I learned before 
 
 a jury 
 
 I'or I iini the Man of Majestic INme, 
 
 .\lso. the l''Iashiug Kye ; 
 I'm an understmly of "John A's" nose. 
 A...C And afTect bis blootl-red tie. 
 
 1 i 
 
 ,1 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 '*iicannot:8inq the old SONQS." 
 
 ( Keprodutfil from The Monhral l^aiiv Star, ) 
 
 Ballad* by 8lr RIohard. 
 
 I cannot s\^\y^ the old .hoiikk. 
 'Ti« four years since I've 
 trieil, 
 Niir hum the tune I itsi-il in 
 Hing. 
 Of whidi the ulileow dieil 
 Tt) ^'iiiK those snnj^s just 
 now would W 
 Most tnronvenit'Ut : 
 T'woiilil place nic in u 
 (|iianilary, 
 Ami hust the fiovfrnuicni. 
 
 I ilo not like the old song's. 
 
 I'm not in liiirniouy 
 With free trade schenii s.ittnl 
 iflle ilreaniM 
 
 Of reciprocity. 
 My music now is up to date. 
 
 Fn>ni ancient error free, 
 Not Drumniond deals, nor 
 Yukon steals 
 
 Can mar niv melmlv. 
 
 >■ 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 I CANNOT SING THE OLD 80NQS." 
 
 {Keproiiuifd font The Monlrfal Daiiy Star. ) 
 
 I would forget the old sonf(ii. 
 
 Nor e'er recall that we 
 * >iu'e ftwore to turn tlit* 
 raHcals out, 
 Ami rule with ImneMy. 
 That we were thost- \vh(t 
 curHe<l Sir John, 
 And cursed the j^reat 
 N 1'. 
 Whociirsed nioiiopoltes, and 
 I'ursed 
 I'rotecti'd industry 
 
 Tu(( liin>; wt* snnj; IhoM- old 
 Minn>, 
 Till all a olian^e desired, 
 Like an or^an >;rindei 's 
 monkey 
 Of one tune >;t'ttin>' lired. 
 We lired them out. those (dd 
 old sou}{s, 
 And now 1 try to troll 
 Some really nuitleru music 
 from 
 The repert<iire we stole. 
 
 ■ 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 "come, festive fiddle." 
 
 ( f!*l<roilti(til /loiii I hi- .\fitiilifiil Ihiily Slar. ) 
 
 •y Handy Andy. 
 
 Clime, fculive fidillr. wliilr I «iiiK 
 
 Tlif wili-H f)l' iiiftt puliiii'iil ; 
 N«r shall lliere tu- in wliiil wi* '♦uy 
 
 Auxlit that l» li>|M»'ritii'iil. 
 I'lir wliiil iiire I wliul iKuplr think, 
 
 \,vX Ihfiti lie (Irtl or Tory. 
 Tltry I'linnot iiUt-r iiu* a tni, 
 
 Nor shall thi'y »|kii1 my story. 
 And thin old rnldlr is thi- tliinK 
 
 To tune my liltli' rhynif; 
 The lidille .Nerc! pluyrd wliili' Home 
 
 Hiiriifd in vf ulden tytnt- 
 Till- liddlf then was Neru's rhoiie 
 To lend arronip'n'anienl li- his voiri- ; 
 Tlle tiildli- now will do ipiili- wt'll 
 To xild the tale I have tu tell 
 
 The "olil school " (Irits say " lllair must n 
 I lli-tnm tidilleynni tnintiildleyll ' i 
 Hnt I Kivetothtinall my res]KMise; " No. Nii 
 .\nil Sir Wilf noils approval, .ind 
 
 "J list so I " 
 .So merrily fiddle and merrily sin^. 
 Despite "(lid Crits" we're still 
 
 rint! 
 
 grants 
 
 the 
 
 rp and ilown the eonntry, 
 
 Kverywhere I ^o. 
 The poor " Did C.rits " are making 
 
 A most infernal lilow. 
 Saying I'm a Tory. 
 
 Claiming that I show 
 A preference for men o( th it extraction. 
 
 l'erhu])s there's sonietliin>; in it. 
 I'erhaps a^ain there ain't ; 
 
 I>erha]>s I am a denion. 
 And mayhe I'm a saint. 
 
 Thoiiuli a saintly politician 
 Would he somewhat rather ipiaint 
 
 .\ntl not ((iiite in keejiin^ with uiir 
 faction. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 "COMC, FCSTIVC FIDDLC. 
 
 ( f\'t'f*rtuimni from f'hf Motiirfttl /hii/v Stttr. ) 
 
 By Hanriy Antfy. 
 
 JtiHt mm- I'ln ImviiiK liiupH u( fiiit 
 
 With iM'opl'- who of o)<l 
 Wrri' wont m lonk ni "ii inc «•* 
 
 Within ilir T'>rv 11: 
 ThoiiKli Ihfv mvf( w f (|uitr r«>rtiiin. 
 
 I'ui I iilwiiys t ni\ ihf knnt'k 
 Of ^otn^ nr<t 'far hut that 
 
 I Hnfr' ■■ 'tilil ilmH itHi'k. 
 Ami fts t!i*'> loiiinl iiir "hifty th n. 
 
 Tm y (iiiii iiit* slii'" sull 
 WliiMi in Si, I<ilin ? ti m '.e f<<lkH 
 
 Th:it lity if "u- c n l ; 
 III lliiltfdx T t'hi(ti>(f I ly htv, 
 
 Thrir Mclf.irf 1 ileiliirf 
 To Ite my oiilv dream * uiuht, 
 
 My oiilv ihim^lit hy ilny. 
 Ami HiiiiliiiK Klamlly to inyBcIf 
 
 I foi-thv\ilh )i\uU- aw.iy. 
 
 l\NVi»I. 
 
 IVn-hiHui- it hiiH iKVurre<i to yo», 
 
 Whilt lisfniiiK lo iiiv soiiy, 
 Tti unit- tht* j;iiiit \i(i ii't V 
 
 * H iioftrv all .iloii(^. 
 Nil siiij^U* imtrt' tlaitii!* m> Ia\ , 
 I sjiij^ a»i huit-* my own swi-t't way. 
 Ill iKttttii's I lid tht- sanif, 
 I sliift alKitit am'. rhaii>;t' ttu- ^aiiit' ; 
 Now ar^m' for fri-c traili*. now not ; 
 I'Ufiiioniy, I say's all rot, 
 Thoii}{li oni'i* upon a tinif 'tis triu> 
 I AikI tliin is just 'tw'ivt nit* himI yuuj 
 1 think I ilid a frw wnr<lH<lrop 
 To sa\ iXtrava^am-f nuist st«)}». 
 Hut. thru ytui know, tinu'H chaiiKf ahout 
 Soini'tiinrs we're ' iij.' sometimes we'rv 
 
 'nut.' 
 
 N(»w heinji 'in." we'll liave our flinjj, 
 Anil tliHt is all I rare to sing. 
 
 M 
 
 i 
 
 i1 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 HOW FREE TRADE '* STRUCK BILLEE PATERSON.*' 
 
 {Reprodtued from The Montreal IhiHy Star. \ 
 
 Once more tlie lty-T"wn 
 coons are out 
 With instrunicnt and 
 voice, 
 And " Hrnntford Hilly " 
 leads the rout. 
 ContribntinK the :ioisf. 
 I've got myself -a ^;ood 
 trombone. 
 Whose notes Miund loud 
 and strong. 
 And with my voire of 
 mighty tone 
 I'll sing my merry song. 
 
 LHOHIS. 
 
 ( )h ! I'm ;is nierry as I'iiit Ik*. 
 
 ( Though I nmv seldimi 
 
 smile ), 
 
 For i)iscuitsRrenfJt yet ntadi- 
 
 free. 
 
 Anil won t l)e--\et a wliile. 
 
 A staunch I-'ree Trailer I 
 have stood — 
 As I shall ever stand" 
 I'rocIaiminK that the 
 people's good 
 Ntt'ds fret- trade in our 
 land ; 
 And yet on biscuits I must 
 make 
 To this law an exception. 
 For (don't vou see .' ^ mvself 
 I bake' 
 These biscuits tf) |)crfec- 
 Wow.— Chorus . 
 
 \\ Hr;nitford, where itiy 
 facloiy is. 
 The folks quite clearly 
 see 
 The reason and the whv <if 
 this. 
 And all agret' with me 
 Leastwise. I think Ihey do, 
 for it 
 Would br a great mistake 
 Tn tlrop the duty, and let in 
 The cakes the \'ankees 
 bake.— (,'A(;r«,r 
 
 So though Free Trade I I 
 gravely preach, j 
 
 Protection's curse I show, 1 
 The tiiscuits 'scai>eil the 
 tariff's reach 
 Wlien duties were made 
 " low."' 
 And liere am I. in ofhce 
 high. 
 Controller of all duties: 
 .\n<l liere I'll stay, though 
 I tiiay sigh. 
 At thoughts of theory's 
 beauties. [ 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 oh ! I'm as merry as can he 
 
 ( Though I may seldom 
 
 smile, ) 
 
 F'orbiscuitHare not yel made 
 
 iiee. 
 
 And won't l»e--vet a while. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 II n he 
 Mom 
 
 iiiailr 
 rhilf. 
 
 ... A PASTORAL . . . 
 
 {^Reprodnced Jrom The Montreal /hiily Star.) 
 
 When I wtis ii Iml. I Hrr\e(l. 
 no hflriii ! 
 
 As " rHriner'H hoy " on a 
 Jiidjje s farm. 
 
 I milked the cows, hiu! I fe<l 
 the swine, 
 
 Ami wiiH alwavH in hed hy 
 half pfl»t nine ; 
 
 1 niilked the cow» so cure- 
 fully. 
 
 l*a purcliaNeil "Alva" farm 
 for uie. 
 
 Asa farming inan. I did verv 
 
 well. 
 Had cows and plenty of milk 
 
 lo sell ; 
 
 "Water and milk "— hein^ 
 niy make up 
 
 I 8|>oute(l aKRinst the red 
 wine cup ; 
 
 I s])outed and milked quite 
 religiously. 
 
 Rut kept my eye on a can- 
 didacy. 
 
 By the Fisher-y Minister. 
 
 (NOT THa MtNtkTIA Of nVHtHIMJ 
 
 I 
 
 I never smoked. 
 
 drank ; 
 I never trieil to "I 
 
 hank : " 
 The Dunkiu Act 
 
 voke. 
 A wicked word I 
 
 spcjke, 
 I looked so "mMxly 
 
 teni|»erance spout. 
 That the " (ijoody " 
 
 hronght me out. 
 
 I was goody then, \ am 
 l^ootly yet : 
 'U the j Tho' forced to work with a 
 
 I wicked set ; 
 lid in- I Hut Wilfred needs all kinds 
 
 \ in the K'*"**^- 
 never I So u f trnier's minister I 
 
 became. 
 " at a I I say goydy things with so 
 
 I much wal. 
 people That I c«uer many an awful 
 j deal. 
 
 I don't like "deals ' and I 
 
 don't like Tarte. 
 And I fear I'm losing; my 
 
 innocent heart ; 
 Rut I'm saving my pennies 
 
 and living cheap, 
 And I'll soon return to 
 
 my " stable heap." 
 On a "stable heap" we 
 
 fariners sing. 
 Anrl 'tis purer far than the 
 
 cabinet ring. 
 
 Moral 
 
 Nowfannerhoys!ifyoii,like 
 me. 
 
 Won Id climb into the cabi- 
 net tree : 
 
 Jnsl say "goody" things, let 
 your light he seen. 
 
 And some day you'll do for 
 a cabinet screen. 
 
 If you can't he good, then 
 bad's thegame. 
 
 They use both kinds in a 
 cabinet frame. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 DOBELL'S PHANTOM SHIP. 
 
 (Ktproduced from The Montreal JMily Star.) 
 
 wmm 
 
 Nodoubt yoii have liearil of the bottle nose whale ; 
 
 Of asH-ord-fish'sspear.with its sharp-pointed tip; 
 But no nautical freak's so deserviuR a tale 
 
 As my wonderful bottle-neck ship ! 
 An unsinkable, bottle-neck craft — 
 
 I'or a fast transAlantic steam line, 
 Spick and span up aloft, 'midship, fore and aft — 
 
 'Tis for this consumtnation I pine : 
 Fora greyhound of ocean, in style most unique, 
 
 Dasliing safely throngli stormiest sea ; 
 No dread of an iceberg, collision or lenk, 
 
 Nor grim rocks on strand close a-lee; 
 Swiftly racing through tog to Quebec, 
 
 Past bre.'ikcrs that roar; cleaving winds all a-shriek- 
 .My unsinkalile ship' that nothing can wrcik, 
 
 Though she bang into Kabradur bleak : 
 
mi 
 
 Tl 
 
 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 DOBELL'S PHANTOM SHIP. 
 
 (Reproduced from The Montreal Daily Star.) 
 
 But aliis ! 'tis a siwilral, mythical ilrffliti, 
 Though 'lis ileep-Kraveu into my mind ; 
 A weiril " Flying Dutchman " sort of a scheme, 
 
 That no one but me has defitied. 
 oil I nj^ain and again have I sailed. 
 
 Rushing off on a traus-'lautic jannt, 
 Hut again anil again hive I dismally failed 
 
 In this quest for the ship that I want : 
 An unsinkable. bottle-neck craft, 
 
 I'or a fast trans-Atlantic steam line, 
 Spick and span iipalolt, 'midship, fore and aft— 
 
 'Tis for this consuniniatiou I pine. 
 lUil like Van Icrdecken, in story of old. 
 
 My ship comes never to port ; 
 Still will I not drop a project so bold, 
 
 K'en of it my critics make sport, 
 I.el nniriners curl up their lips ; 
 
 I.andhlliliers these jeers ami jibes parallel — 
 I'll hunt for unsinkable bottle-neck ships 
 
 So long as my name is Dohell ! 
 
 M 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 THE MILITARY MTDICfNE MAN. 
 
 \ k'cpnniuu-ti Oom The Montteaf Haily Star.) 
 
 Yo' niiiy talk ob Julius Ciusar an' v'» Otn'ral Huiiaparte ; 
 Yo" may brajj ob our Sir Wilfrid, auil ol» Mislah Urael Tarle ; 
 Yd' may search llirunplumt creatiou -takt' iu all de culle'tl 
 
 uation. 
 Hilt I'st* not 'tin liealtMi easy fr<»iM tU- start. 
 Did yo' fliLT st'C nie walkin ? 
 Now. w'al's df use oI» talkiu' I ' \ 
 
 Watch nie \\ 'en on dress parade. 
 All lace. wj( ^^old an' feathers. 
 Spurs, C(K-keii hi\t m\A patent leathers: 
 
 I>e hi^ limk in de Hy-Town Coon Jiri^ade. 
 
 Wen Sir Wilfrid came to |>o\vali. he glanced thro' all de Ian' 
 l*'o' a fus-class fij^htin nigj^ah ; an" sis he yore jes de man 
 I)i lies' we am affordin" ain t too ^ooii fo' Mistali Borden ; 
 Jes' pnt <»n all de j;old hice dat vn' can. 
 
 Yo' sec I'd hail some practis' 
 
 Tho' lott-Il de tiMof de fact is— 
 
 'Tis ill patients, not at tarjiels. dat I aitn. 
 
 An' as ti> sellin' rifles. 
 
 Ah snch uncoiiHidered trifles. 
 W'y. very few can heat me at 'iat game. 
 
 \ 
 
 ,/ 
 
■I 
 
 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 THE MILITARY MEDICINE MAN. 
 
 ( Rtprodmed from The Moiilreal Daily Star. ) 
 
 {( 
 
 </ 
 
 Oh ! Sir Wilfriil lies a eulc oiie, an' he knows a I'ing or two; 
 Se's he : " We don't want experts, that's why we sent to' yo', 
 You're (piite exiwrinicntal— so he merely ornamental ; 
 He snail an keep yo' monf shut an' yo'U do." 
 
 So I jes' keep on a-walkin' 
 
 Now w'at's tie use oh talkin' ! 
 Walkin' to de dress parade. 
 
 l*'o' I don't mind de ilrillin', 
 
 It am hetter far dan " pillin' " 
 
 .'\n' if dey ain't no li^;htin' who's afraid ! 
 
 So w en ilfv talk oh 'siierlions, and adjutants an stuff, 
 
 gocs<ni doin' nnflin', fo' I know 'tis all a hlnff. 
 An' 1 jis' keep on a-sinilin', well reports and orilalis pile in ; 
 ■'o'. he savs, " Jes' draw yore sal'ry — dat's cnuff." 
 Oh. yo' sl.o'd hear me stissin' 
 I).' Otn'ral w'en he's iiassin' 
 
 I'p an' down de ranks w'en on parade. 
 Well, he don't cut no li)»i;ali 
 Wif dis ver gold-laced uiggali ; 
 
 I'se de hig huck oh ile Hy Town Coon Brigade! 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 LINGER LONGER LOU'S RETURN TO BY-TOWN. 
 
 SOME " POINTERS ■' FROM A "HIGH JOINTER." 
 
 {Reproduced fivm The Montreal Daily Star.) 
 
 To OUawa frmii Wiisliin'Kiii ile lonns am lunv ri-lurneil. 
 AtcUin' all lU' (oiks ilat ni){li Commission am ailjourii'il. 
 An' fliil wf's j^winc liack a^a'il fo' reciprocit-ee, 
 Wen ilf Vaiikii's strainliliMi out ilal twisieil 'l.askan 
 houiidar-cc. 
 
 iliU wt' ain't 1 Oh, no' now ji-s' \ o" ^\ait an" see ! 
 Hat's our Milutl." rij;lit 'nnff ; wi-'vi- still .U- old X.T. ! 
 Hut excuses we mns' frame, as our ease am miKlity lame 
 l''o' a '■ slldW-iloMU " ill ilis (lijilomatie faille, 
 
 Kf you'll etier lie'n a-tonrin' wif a Ousted minstrel troupe; 
 Orliail tranip'cllill)aik toHy-Tdwii feelin' ilat you'll lie'il a dupe, 
 IJell vo'il realise lua feelin's as I Stan' heto' yu' all, 
 Tootin' out ma little tooltle, w'ileile "^joils" repeat de call :— 
 
 " I,in>;er Longer I, on ' ain't yo' a iiire hoodoo! 
 De^Yankees done vo' hrowii, nowondah yo' feels' hlue ! 
 Ain't vo' ^lail yo's hack alive ? Say on— yn'sj»ot de tie'," 
 I Wen ni,i music's ]>oo' an' I'se a-feelin' so'. ) 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 LINGER LONGER LOU'S RETURN TO BY-TOWN. 
 
 SOME "POINTERS" FROM A "HIGH JOINTER." 
 
 {Reproduced from The Montreal Daily Star. 
 
 Sawdust Johnny talked oh^reetin's liy a biji brass Iiand, 
 But I can't perceive cle faintes' sij;n o'j ebeu a K'ad hand ! 
 Oh I .ve "jointers" want some "pointers;" we will need 
 
 dent, 'deed we will. 
 When Sir Jimmy raps I'o' ordab in de le_i;islative mill. 
 
 An' I tells yo' folks ma tone bab drop't a bit. 
 To pitch de propah note ; play music tnne<i to fit 
 In de plaintive chords dat sound above de critics' din. 
 I'se a-tootlin' on dis tootah made oh tin ! I 
 
 l)f session time's a drawin' nigh- de white trash Tory crew 
 .■\ni bonin' tip dar ra/abs keen fo' Linger Koit^er I,ou. 
 Dar'sTuppah. an' dar's b'ostah tan Nick Daviii. who wif /est, ) 
 Will make it wa'in fo' Distnal Dick, j^ib Weary Wilf. unrest. 
 
 Wen <1 e Tories j^et up steam, an' put tpieslions in a 
 
 stream ; 
 Meet i>ur stereotvped replies wif aiisaws w 'ich we deem 
 "Much too trivial to heed; "--so I'm now moved to 
 
 siuK 
 'Bout dat hot time iu lly Town dis spriujj!! 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 BY THE GO-AS-YOU-PLEASE QUARTETTE. 
 
 {.Reproduced from The Montreal Paily Star.) 
 
 THE PENNY POSTMAN. 
 
 With the " cliiij;. rlaiiK. clinj; " of the postman's 
 
 I smiimon you mit lo iiiect Ttu' ; , 
 
 If you (lon'l possess a I'. <>. l'o\, 
 
 Y<iu Iilnck the wicki't to greet imv 
 Vox by river »iiil rail. I I'arry the mail 
 
 I*or loveis. and friends ntid — deliiors; 
 My colleaj^iies may rhiim some measure of fauie. 
 
 Hut I am a niau oi letters ! 
 
 (Anrl the Po-liiinn t'ontimu's his "farch (<-r Mrssr^. I.istcr. 
 L'lio(|iit'Ut:. Vro, Lt iill. whose addresses he Ktill hns at tlii; 
 " IlouKc of ConiinniiH, " iiikI e>iiiiiut iiiiilt-rittaiid how ihey 
 canie lu iiiuvc hefurr the exiiiTiitiuti u( their teiiii ' 
 
 THE SWELLEST COON OF ALL. 
 
 I piiiie inysell on jjrnre, 
 Which roiiies of kin and race; 
 
 I'm "Sir Henri, le Grand Seij^neur " 
 And a list forcahiiitt places 
 To comprise fjuite " all the jiraces." 
 
 Would be iiicimi])lete without de I,otbiniere. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 BY THE GO-AS-YOU-PLEASE QUARTETTE. 
 
 {Reproduced from The Montreal Daily Star.) 
 
 "COMPREND PAS." 
 M**s amis, fef you hax for know 
 
 How (leofTrioii mak' het'S fatiif . 
 I spik hup (jueek— 'tain't la polititpie- 
 
 Hain't no chance for piny <lat jiai'if 
 I'm le f^rand seigneur; un Ronjjc tres haul. 
 All lie same don't j^et portfolio. 
 
 Mak' speech so smart, Ink' M'sieii Tarte, 
 Mais je lie compreuds pas w'y I >;el no show 
 
 FITZ OF INCONSTANCY. 
 
 In Tory days of f^race, when all Queliec was 
 
 hleii, 
 I toyed with Tory i)er(iiiisites— the Rogues were 
 
 so few. 
 But when the fortu?ies chanv;cd, and Mercier 
 
 was K.in>;. 
 I K"t hack into line ajjain. anti all went with 
 
 a switi}{. 
 When Mercier was defealeil, and politically 
 
 was (lead. 
 My choice anathemas were heajK-d on hi*^ 
 
 devoted liead, 
 I didn't join the Tories though, much as I 
 
 wanted to ; 
 For Lnurier saved the Crits just then— now I'm 
 
 among /lis erewj! 
 Hehold me in my legal robt- s ; I'm rigged out 
 
 bright and smart; 
 An honest man I love the law. It pays to 
 
 follow Tarte ! ! 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 With Apologias to tho Author of " Tho Habitant." 
 
 "the promise of ISRAEL." 
 
 1 kifioiliiifil liom The Muiiheol Diiily SliirA 
 
 Sung by Mon Frare Jo-saph. 
 
 Ha Gosli ! lie tani seem very loiiK ime I lie yniing 
 
 an' K^y. 
 Here's tuit'iliK now lull jilaiiilee licinli' was 
 
 t'liniin' ev'r\ ilii\' : 
 An' K'at von lall ma liosoin hien' luliive on ini- 
 
 no more. 
 Hal's lliak' me feel so Imiesonie I never leel 
 
 l.efore. 
 
 Chcihi's 
 llnl (lout I'ornel, nies eliers amis, rm.ilway frien' 
 
 wir \ on. 
 .\ii' w'al you "anl I promise : sine, ilal's easy 
 
 I'iiiH lo lie. 
 
 lie ok' Ron)<e Home Cnard alw.iy say ilal I'm 
 
 heeg lory slill, 
 / llnl all lie lilen naw-^eUe iley say " Jo-/epli ilon'l 
 
 fill lie liill;" 
 So I never know w'ere 1 litlonn'. ilnn'l eare ile 
 
 mcelie I try ; 
 Hnl w'ile I slay on ofliee— Wall ! I'm very 
 
 satisfv. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 T^^ 
 
 With A»olo9ln to th« Author of *' Tho HoblUnt." 
 
 "the promise of ISRAEL." 
 
 I Repioiiuied from Thf Montreal Pnify Star.) 
 
 Sung by Mon Fr«r« Jo-i«ph. 
 
 1 wiirk 11(1 t'lVf rani lii/ness, iiif-~I ahvuv' 
 
 spik for inif ; 
 Df \\;iv I'm frifu' ."MrCrievy— diit's way 
 
 I'm frieii' wit' ynti. 
 I s|)fir, Ilapteiiif ' more money was never 
 
 spen' before, 
 An' w'en de nex' \ear I'ome, Hooraw I I 
 
 spt-n' few million more. 
 
 I t'ink I'm feelin' l)etter sinre I niak' ilis 
 
 leetle .M»n)i. 
 An' now, nies cliers amis, I ln)pe yon don't 
 
 (in' it too loi'K- 
 I)e partie she can't k^'* itl'»n>; wiiloul <le 
 
 Tarte an' Hlair. 
 Hecus for w'y ? Wall 'lectii-n ilon't lie never 
 
 mak' wit' prayer. 
 
 CHOKIS. 
 
 So don't f4)r^et. mes rhers amis, I'ni 
 
 alway' frien* wit' yon. 
 All' w'al yoii want I promise : sure, dul's 
 
 easy t'in^ t<> ilo. 
 
 i-^ 
 
TTTWl 
 
 smmmmm 
 
 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 SOME PROMINENT FEET-URES OF OUR FINANCES. 
 
 ( Repiodiictd frnm The Montreal Paily Star. I 
 
 By Mlatah FUMlii'. 
 
 Di» coon done UV a liappy linnie fo' to go to <le 
 
 Capital ; 
 Weil I j'iiied de By-Town minstrel troupe. 
 
 I felt quite natural. 
 I leC good jot) at Halifax; but now, ma fren's. 
 
 I feel 
 Dat dere's gwine t' be a heap 
 O' trouble fo' to keep 
 Finances on an ebcn keel. 
 
 Choki's. 
 Pretty soon. I guess, I'll habtogo to London, 
 An get money in exchange fo' liunds an' 
 stocks, 
 Dafs wh;i' lie Tories alius ilonedereborrowiu', 
 Eben Fostali crus't the briny fo' his rocks. 
 Jus' atenip'rary inconveuience, 11 xplain it, 
 Noinattah sho'd d' amount be ratha' steej). 
 I'll cable to our agent fo' to help 'long lair 
 pageant, 
 W'ich we don't intend to run ponde cheap. 
 
 Fo' de debt, as yo' know, am pilin' up. 
 
 An' so am de taxes too ; 
 But w'at'sde useo' money, wen I dunno Wat todo 
 To keep de balance straight, a.gib d' su'plus 
 
 a fair start. 
 Ub, dat man Blair I 
 He debates ma hair. 
 Not to speak o' Brudder Tarle. 
 (Chorus. ) 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 SOME PROMINENT FEET-URES OF OUR FINANCES. 
 
 ( Nfproductdjtom Iht Montreal Paily Star.) 
 
 By MlaUh Flaldln'. 
 
 
 Deiii ra'lwaya an' laimlii, »n' l'in({s, liow iley 
 
 Kwallcr up <le K^^UI ! 
 Hut I Oiiiiit refuse I>KM twi)''""U». fo' 
 
 Hoi am 1>A(1 an' tHild. 
 'I'lio' I»e n-nut ma own sunpisliuns — 
 
 W'^Mi (lose spenders raise de deuce — 
 I)at de peopi '11 sny, 
 On lection day, 
 
 " Mistali Kieldin'. you've a po'r excuse." 
 7 » I Chorus. 1 
 
 But jes' now, all de Hy-Town coons 
 T'ink de suap am simplee ({ran' ; 
 
 'Case 1 gels a lot o' de people's money, 
 An' dey po's it out like san'. 
 
 " He ce't'nly am Ko<»l t' "1*1" one an' all ile 
 ininatrels shout ; 
 
 Wile de orb o' day 
 
 Am a-shinin' gay, ■ 
 
 All dein coons fo' de stuff am out. 
 (Chorus.) 
 
•XMIH^ppiMaP 
 
 SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 GREAT SCOTT-HIS ACT: THE LAY OF A LEFT-OVER MINISTREL. 
 
 {Reproduced from The Motit'eal Daily Star. ) 
 
 
 I'se a general utility coon ; 
 
 Called de Secretary oh Stale. 
 To me dat offns wah a boon. 
 
 Wen Wilfrid made his slatf. 
 An' I'se a-^ut ma uses. 
 
 Khen if "old i^rits " dc» say. 
 De job am ' Jioujj; d" " abuses." 
 
 W'ich lie Liberals "ud sweep awa'. 
 
 Cutmrs. 
 Dis yer job Suits me to def ; 
 I'se one coon dat didii' ^et lef . 
 I ma<le ma kick. 
 An' it dun de trick ; 
 Dey look me in out ob do wet ; 
 I'se adieah fo" keeps, yo' brt '. 
 In de I.anrier Cabinet 
 
 I shines in tie suinina' season, 
 
 Wen deie's nuiliin' doin' 't all ; 
 Den yo' clea'ly cotch ile reason 
 
 W'y I j(ot nia cab'nei call, 
 All d' oder coons g'way ; 
 
 ()n"y dis un's at his post — 
 Dey's a-habin' a happy hnliday 
 
 At de seasho' 'Ion>; de coast, 
 (Chorus.) 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 GREAT SCOTT-HIS ACT: THE LAY OF A LEFT-OVER MINISTREL. 
 
 ( Rfprodttceti fii'iH The Montrral Haily Star.) 
 
 7 
 
 
 Den I'sf Min'stu-ob fh'vt'in^ 
 
 I'roiii Ra'lwa's to F-'inaiice; 
 i'se a Pooh-Bah — j^reater dan a king, 
 
 Dat's (ie linu' I'se a-j^nt nia chance. 
 Hut (!ere ain't a t'inj; fo' to tlo ; 
 
 Still a fi^K''* lieail nius' exist; 
 I (Inn hik wise — I do fo" shnah ! 
 
 So d' oder coons am iieher niis'l. 
 I Chorus, j 
 
 I knows how to draw nia pa\ . 
 
 Keej' dt pens an" nuicilaj^e straight, 
 rrochiini w'en dere am a hcdiday, 
 
 Oil I Pse de Secretary oh Slate I 
 It's de job I'sc a-litted fo'. 
 
 An' I ain't a-j{wine to squeal ; 
 Dtre's nuthin' to (!o dat I eber saw ; 
 
 Dis coon's i-ot de l)esl oh de ileal ! 
 
 ClKHUS. 
 
 Dis yer joh suits me to def ; 
 
 I'se one coon dat didn' gel let'. 
 
 I made n^a kick, 
 
 .^n' it (hm de trick ; 
 
 Dey took nic in out oh de wet ; 
 
 I'se a-heah fo' keeps, yo' bet ! 
 
 In de I.aurier Cabinet. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 Tho JIg-antie Acoompllshments of the Minister of the Interior. 
 
 (^Reproduced from The Montreal Daily Slur.) 
 
 To the west ! to the west ! in that land of the 
 
 True 
 High carnival's held by «iy Corsicaii crew- 
 Hold robbers each one of 'tni, rudp and uncouth, 
 (In whispeis they're talked of, to state a bold 
 
 truth ) 
 But they shine at elections as I at a ball- 
 In fact, I'm sole one that can <lance of them all — 
 h'or no dancing inslructor has taught them to 
 
 glide. 
 To waltz, or to polka ; so they j»a/e with fond pride 
 When they see nie cavorting at high-loned affairs, 
 So graceful, yet nimble, with elegant airs ! 
 Hy my heels-not my head — when I'm swallow- 
 tail dressed, 
 They'll think I'm Napedeon througboiu the 
 whole West ! 
 
 To tbe west ! to the west ! to the land uf the I'rte 
 Where the muddy Red River rolls down to the sea ; 
 Where a man gets along if he only votes straight, 
 And practises politics right up-to-date ; 
 Where partisan heelers of genuine type 
 Off the face of the earth all my rivals will wi|>e, 
 When they gather in conclave to blacken my 
 
 name- 
 It's a costly experience, but goes just the same. 
 For bv making f.it jobs, and donating new phires 
 To a clamorous moli of dissatisfied cases, 
 I retain my position ; I knock out the rest, 
 And pose as Napoleon, the I'ride <»f the West. 
 
SONGS OF THE BY-TOWN COONS. 
 
 The Jig-antic Accomplishments of the IMinister of the Interior. 
 
 yl\fpiihliii,;l Jiom I hi- Moiilieitl Daily Star.) 
 
 Hi 
 
 To tin- Wfsl ' U\ \\\v ufsl ' t"' tlic ImiiiI of tlie 
 
 Wlu-if 1 licIiK'il fli).; Jof Miirlin's pc. tir;il ^ravf, 
 'riinu;^li lie's now ill X'aiu'ouvt'r, slill liviiij^. I see, 
 l";ir ;i\vay o't-r \\\v Korkies. oh ! worst* lm*k forme ; 
 WIuTf fr.ijirmit ('.olii-iini^ arc lilliii^ llii- soil, 
 \inl my D'liikhohors .yoin^ in ilimisiunls to toil ; 
 When- ilif 'rriliiiiu- ami rascals who claiiii to he 
 
 Crits 
 \ic r.iisiii;.^ wi-ll. trnultif aiiil Liiv iiiji tue tits; 
 Wluif soiiKliiiu-'. fnr iiif it's I (nifoiiticlfdty I'uM 
 All. I 's iliilly as Dawson in new lamls of ^;oI(i ; 
 lint win ri". when it coines to a critical test. 
 Ini'-lill yoniii; Napoleon, tlu- I'ri'lc of the We'^t, 
 
 In till- ui-si ' to tin- wt-sl ! to ihr I.in-I of the C.iod, 
 WtuTf Tt-in < '.reeiiwav s^ys nothin-.;, luil kcrjis 
 
 ■-.lu niii w>hh1 : 
 Whfu- .ill |.ri>s|K'.t^ :iif pIiMsinLi, wvX T'tries .ue 
 
 viU-, 
 \im1 .i11i-l;(-.1 I.i'.'rai ijortrines .m- Ii.ivin.- -on* 
 
 trial ; 
 Wh.Tf \\v priMiiiM-.j tlif lanm-i iliat lliirii^'- woul.l 
 
 I'e i-lieajK-r. 
 'riin' he still pa>s as miuh loi hi', roal oil atnl 
 
 reaper, 
 
 Wlietf, lurllier awa\ . in the -^Mhleii Kloii.like, 
 
 I've enalih'il some linml frjeilils toniake .i rich 
 
 strike ', 
 When- in all this hro.tij hin.l I'tii the lioss of tlu* 
 
 sllow, 
 \ml will he sn hinj.1 as there's plenty ut 'ilotli^ll.'" 
 
 \ml tlioiijih hateil opponents nia\ tliink it .i jest, 
 
 I'm still \oiinv; Napole.m, the riiilenl the West. 
 
 
THE RETURN OF THE COON QUARTETTE FROM WASHINGTON. 
 
 A, /■/,/,/',■.,.,/ ;»,.)-; I III- M.-.,:,,., 
 
 ■^ \-^>^^^ 
 
 I.iN-.l U I.' iN'.l K I ..I • .-..n l.:!u •• T ikc It CI .\ Ihl- .Hilt li<. ).( 'Ir^n.nri «. .ill] >i U'. loll ' 
 
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