IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET {MT-3) '^O £/ 14^'^. w^ :/j l«W |3° I.I M 1112 5 £f lii "Ills 1^ ^ lis lllll^ 1.8 IL25 i 1.4 1.6 % 7 ^J^ '^ « V :\ \ 'b^^ ^ /x% ^ ^ Cp^ vV CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHM/ICMH Collection de microfiches. Canadian Institute for Historical Microreproductions Institut Canadian de microreproductions historiques 1980 Technical Notes / Notes techniques The Institute has attempted to obtain the best original copy available for filming. Physical features of this copy which may alter any of the images in the reproduction are checked below. D Coloured covers/ Couvertures de couleur L'Institut a microfilm^ le meilleur exemplaire qu'il lui a 6t6 possible de se procurer. Certains d6faut8 susceptibles de nuire A la quality de la reproduction sont not6s ci-dessous. 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L'exemplaire filmd fut reproduit grdce A la g6n6ro8it6 de I'dtablissement prdteur suivant : Bibliothdque nationale du Canada Les cartes ou les planches trop grandes pour Stre reproduites en un seul clich6 sont film6es d partir de I'angle sup6rieure gauche, de gauche 6 droite et de haut en bas, en prenant le nombre d'images n6cessaire. Le diagramme snivant illustre la m^thode : 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 6 6 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP THE REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. Jo #= k i iPI/JinOilir ?-t V i'j ;ii -JMiJAir) ,/.C.: f \f, :Viy4-^, ''^^raf ■ • - w^ W W'." "■^' ' /^^^u^z:^ /i^^yi^ yOi2c£o THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF TUB REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN; LATE RADBI OP THE JEWISH SYNAGOGUE AT QUEBEC, AND GK^VDUATE OP THE JEWISH THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY AT PRAGUE; : AT PRESENT GERMAN WESLEYAN MINISTER AT TRESTON, ONTARIO. ! " Thou sbult remcmbor all the way which! the Lo«d thy OoU led tl»ee." Uaor. viii 3. TORONTO: SAMUEL ROSE, WESLEYAN BOOK llOOM KING STREET. 1868. * \ •f:? A U [ TORONTO : PBINTED AT THE WESLBY^.N PRIKTINO ESTABLISHMHNT, KING STBB£T. . /- *.: i < M \ > J .1 it(> I •«< •;*iIT . 1.1*1 iM'I'J' 4 , ..:(,, The missions among this industrious and thriving ' part of our population have already borne a largo amount of precious fruit. In the United States, I ri ■ TREPACE. IX where the German Missions were commenced by the Rev. Dr. Nast, the author of a noble Commentary on the New Testament, the success has been as- tonishing, and has led to the establishment of many ' prosperous Missions, and the commencement of a great work of grace in Germany itself. Indeed, this work, in its numerous relations and results, already promises to become one of the most important reli- gious awakenings of modern times. This portion of our population is quite large in Ontario, and is every year increasing. - - Dr. Freshman has prosecuted his work in this department with all the energy and faith that charac- terize him in most of his undertakings. In the face of many difficulties he has followed the intimations of Providence, and by a wise and prompt improve- ment of opportunities, and the faithful and fearless preaching of the Gospel, he has gradually conquered prejudice, and commended himself to the consciences of many in the sight of God. "" ' ' The great fault of most books of biography is, that they are four times too large. They contain so little fact and incident ; so little of those whose lives they profess to give ; and so much of the author's ser- monizings and moralizings, that it is a task to read 1 X PREFACE. ; ( , 1 I i them. That is not the case here. This story, which we hope will prove the story of only half of a life, contains more of interesting occurrences and events, more of actions, experience, and adventures, than many larger biographies. He has purposely refrained from introducing the peculiarities of Judaism, which many of his readers will no doubt expect, as he intends, in a short time, to publish a volume of Lectures on the " Manners and Customs of the Jews," which will contain all possible information on the subject. t f Although, as a late Rabbi, he has the title of " D. D.," still Dr. Freshman had no desire to have it annexed to his name on the title-page. This frank and unaffected narrative is well calcu- lated to inspire confidence in the religion of God our Saviour, to encourage seekers after salvation, and to stimulate all workers for God to increased dili- gence. ( ; I ., . ...... !' i r. ■ < : 1 . ; -•-:•.'(,' I J ..' :ii >ii: I 1 1 CONTENTS. ■ ■■'i'l.i. .,! CHAPTER I. ' ' 1 1 ' 1 Page Birth and Parer.tage — Impossibility of pmving Tribeship — Inci- dents of Childhood — Ceremony of the Fringes — First Scrip- ture Lesson — Earliest Recollections — Tendency to Pride — Strictness of Early Training — Contempt for Christ and tho Christians — Articles of the Jewish Faith — Traditions — Stimulants to Pride — Miraculous Escape — Coincieenco — Omen 1- CHAPTER II. Progress in Study — Desire to be a Rabbi — School Incidents — Attain the Perfection of Piety — Sudden Change for the Worse — Anecdote in Illustration — Compunctions — Leave School — Domestic Adversity — Benefits of — Prepare for Con- firmation — Ceremony of — Phylacteries — Too Poor to Pur- chase — Resolve to Leave Home in Consequence — Anecdote — The Penknife — Leave Home — Sensations — Incidents of the Journey — Arrive at Namensdorf, 13 CHAPTER III. Recep'don at Namensdorf — My New School there — Difiiculty in Maintaining myself — Hence Resolve to Visit Poland — Delay by tho Way — Continue — Arrive at Bialla — Procure my Phylacteries — Proceed to Helleshau — Become Student and Teacher — How I Maintain myself — Return Home — Off again to Prague — Traditions and Incidents there — Death of my Mother — Complete my Education and Return Home, . . 27 h • ! Xll CONTENTS. CHAPTFR IV. Page Difficulty in Selecting a Wife — My Father now Rich — Short Courtship and Mariage — Amusing Incident — Grow Indolent Go into Business and Fail Twice — Seek a Congregation — State of Hungary during the Revolution — Political Trouhlca induce me to leave — Arrive in Canada — Difficulties — The English lianguage — Obtain a Congregation in Quebec— Attempt to Preach in English— Sabbath Desecration — Mental Conflicts — Reminiscence — the German Bible, . . ,1 » CHAPTER V. Circumstances which led to my Conviction — Begin to Doubt — Read the New Testament — The Roman Catholic Procession The Rabbi from Jerusalem — Doubts still Unsatisfied — Men- tal Conflicts— Sermon for the Passover — Strange Dream — Resign my Rabbiship — Opposition of my Family and Con- gregation — Absurd Rumours — Visited by Rev. J. Elliott : his Prayer — Attend a Methodist Service and Class-Meeting Misconceptions of Christianity — Another Interview with Mr. Elliott — ^Temptations of the Enemy, ,1 CHAPTER VI. . , ,.. ,, Intercourse with other Denominations — Predilictions for the Wesleyan — Union Sabbaih-school — City Missionary and German Tracts — Difficulty in regard to the Atonement — Penitential Feelings — Domestic Troubles — Providence of God — Comparative Salary of a Rabbi and Preacher — Per- secutions of the Jews — Preaching in DiflFerent Churches compared — Visited by Pious Ladies — Influence of Prayer- Meetings — Condemnation — Final Struggle — Conversion — Sensations after — ^Want to Preach immediately — Visit Mr. Elliott — He gives me Work — Original Sermon — Progress of Truth in my Family — Preach to German Emigrants — Re-, marks of the Captain, 7 . 45 56 72 I CONTENTS. • • • XIU CHAPTER VII. Pa^je Baptism — Difficulties in Regiird to — Arguments for Sprinkling — My Family also Renounce Judaism — Interview with a lloman Catholic Bishop — Rumours in Consequence of — We are Baptized — Details Regarding the Ceremony — Gradually Renounce Jewish Observances — First Taste of Pork — My First Prepared Scrnijon — Objections for Inserting it Antici- pated and Answered, 88 !.»>' If. :. '.f\ '.r t.. i t' CHAPTER VIII. Attempt to Re-Convert mo to Judaism — My Son Dismissed from his Employment — Strong Faith — Openiligs in other Churches — Love for the Methodists — Commence to Travel and Lec- ture — Visit Montreal — Rev. Mr. Gemley — James A. Mathew- son, Esq. — Encounter with a Jew — ^Write to my Friends in Hungary — Their Opinion of me — Study English, and Theo- logy — Assisted by Brother Elliott — Visited by Mr. Meyer — Letter from Dr. Busenthal — Again in Montreal — Insulting Letter — Mistakes in Speaking English — Amusing Interview — Invitations from Upper Canada — Prepare to Visit it — Letter from Mrs. Dickson — Reminiscence of Tln*ee Rivers, 112 CHAPTER IX. .v;( Visit Upper Canada— Brockville — Ottawa : Humiliation there- Kingston — Mr. Ebstein — Prophecy concerning — Toronto — John McDonald, Esq. — Interruption at a Lecture there — A Jew's Opinion of Moses and Christ — A Lady's Impression of my Appearance — Dundas — Rev. J. Carroll proposes to mo to become a German Missionary — Return to Quebec — Prepare for District Meeting — Visit London — Benefit from Inter- course with Ministers — Jews again try to Re-convert me — Quebec District Meeting — Kingston Conference — Impres- sions of — Reception into — Appointed a German Missionary, 130 1 HI i XIV CONTENTS. CHAPTER X. Page Gcnuana in Hamilton— Begin to Labour among them — Opposed by Mr. K. — His Sudden Death — Build a Church — Its Dedication — Revival — Falling off — Visit Pembroke — Waterloo County — Opposed by the Lutherans — Interview with One — Internal Difficulties : no Books, no Hymns, no Singers — Establish a Sabbath-school — Value of a German Promise — Mr. Betger — OfiFera as an Assistant — His Failure — Visit the Ottawa — Establish a Mission there — Animosity of the Germans to Methodism — Extract from a Letter — Interview with a Lutheran Minister — Establish a Mission in Preston, 148 CHAPTER XI. My Son Employed as my Assistant — Missionary Breakfast in Montreal — Digression : David Torrance, Esq. — My Son's Progress as a Preacher — Quarterly Meeting in Preston — Mr. Hespeler — His Generous Donation — Project a Church in Preston — Open an Appointment in St. George — Inclement New Year's Day — Revival in St. George — Baptist and Lutheran Ministers — Remarkable Conversions — Mr. S . . . . — Mr. Dapp — His Triumphant Death — Mr. Andrew — Con- trast with These— Mr. S. .. . — His Hypocrisy — Useful Lessons, IGd CHAPTER XII. Collect for the Hamilton Church — Specimens of Givers — Meet one Refusal — Sanctification and the Calf — Opposition from the Lutheran*— Anselm Schuster — Miss P — 's Conversion and Fall — Mr. Sandford — German Sunday Schools — Deceived and Persecuted by a Jesuit — Also, by one H , a Jew — Mr. Tomsky — His Courtship and Marriage — Moral — Quebec and Toronto Conferences — Brother Kappelle is Ordained — Reply to Bishop Colenso — Write to my Relatives in Hungary . — Their Rejection of me — A Fashionable Lutheran Female 1^1 yr—Siugiilar Conversion of a Rich Jew, from Berlin* . . . 188 CONTENTS. XV CHAPTER XIII. Page Iloinove to Preaton — Religious Privileges of the Preetoniana — Difficulties — Commence a United Sunday School — Opposi- tion of the Lutheran Minister — Preach to a Crowd at a Funeral — Renewed Opposition in Consequence — Dedication of our New Church — Appointment in Paris — Extent of the Mission — Gather an English Congregation in Preston — Success in the Service — Opposition in Consequence — Again in Montreal — Misrepresented There — Consequences on my Return— My Dwelling Attacked — Lutheran Minister Wakes np — Comparison of the Two Churches — Rev. E. R Harper's Visit — Disaffection of the English — English Preacher Ap- pointed in Consequence — Scandal Against my Son — Again the Victim of Deceit — Retrenchment— Essay on Croakers. CHAPTER XIV. 100 Serious Accident — Misrepresentation — Comparative Repose — Power of True Religion in Death — Instances : German Painter ; The Young Backslider — Brother Schesser enters the Itinerancy — Course of Study — Conference Appointments — Visit Louisville — Stop at Cincinnati — The German Church there — Preach in Louisville — View of the German "Work in the United States— Again at Cincinnati on my Return- Preach a "Great Sermon" there, and fail — Preach at De- troit, and Lecture to the Jews — Threatened Prosecution there — Mr. Stroelinger — Return Home — Guelph District Meeting , ,. .... . 232 CHAPTER XV. Dr. Nast in Preston— At Conference— Examination of Candi- dates — Comparison with the English — Course of Study Revised — My Son's Examination, Recommendation, Recep- tion — Brother Elliott as President — Ordination Services — Translation from the Apologete — Services of Dr. Nast at Conference — German Work in the Hamilton District — Results — Conference Appointments — John Street Church • —Mr. Chisholm— Dr. Wood— Dr. Taylor— Dr. Nast'a De- parture — English Cause in Preston — Brother Allen — Minis- ters' Salaries and Marriages, 249 XVI CONTENTS. I ?» ; II ■l\ CHAPTER XVI. Page Commencement of Confercnco Year — Two Conversions — Clear Conversion, Useful Life, and Triumphant Death of E. H . . . — A Word about Formal Christians — Union of the German and English Sabbath- Schools proposed — Co-operation of the English Minister — Opposition of his People — Misrepresen- tation — Advice from Conference — List of Charges — Secession of the English — The G«rman Sabbath-Sohool — Visit to Hamilton — The Waterloo Mission^ — Incident at Heidel- berg — Mr. S. . . .—Attacks Mr. Wesley — Ease with which he is Answered — Providential Escape — Opposition and Suc- oess, 2C1 ' " ' -. CHAPTER XVII. > >; J--."- ' Trials from Without— Light and Shade— Visit the Ottawa Mis- sion — Wilberforce — Love-Feast — Ellice — Algona — Kind- ness of Bro. McDowell — Condition of the Country and People — Explore New Territory — Difficulties — Present Position and Prospects of the Mission — Incidents — A Hasty Dinner— A Romish Priest— "Old Clothes to Sell" — Safe Return — Church Dedication in Erbsville — Transla- tion from the Ajiologete — Visit Paris and St. George — The Lutheran Minister in Preston — A Reformed Preacher- Calvin and Zwingle — Vindication against the Charge of Bigotry — Commence Protracted Meetings — Mishaps, . . 273 ♦,.;..K...M .^.Im chapter XVIII. ->/--. ^• - Reflections — ReminiscenccE of Brethren — Potts — Derrick — McCuliough — Young — Cochrane — Dr. Nelles — W. H. Poole — R. Jones — Dr. Ryerson — Dr. Green — Howard, and Thirty- , Two others — W. M. Punshon — Resumption of Narrative — An Expulsion — "Merry Christmas" — Protracted Meeting — Difficulties in Preston — At Heidelberg — Encouraging Letter — Visit from the Bailiff— Spiritual Food for Lutherans — Amusing Adventure with a Jew — Mr. Hespeler — My Son Edward — Strange Dream — Visit the Indians — Extract from Diary — Remarkable Facts — Progress of the Work in Eight Years.— Statistics— Conclusion— "Finis" — P. S. How I fjj^l; came to give up Smoking ! , . , 289 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF TUE REV, CIIAS. FRESILMAN. ClIArTER I. Birth and Parentage — Impossibility of proving Tribeship — Incidents of Childhood — Ceremf)uy of the Fringes — First Scripture Lesson — Earliest Recollections — Tendency to Pride — Strictness of Early Training — Contempt for Christ and the Christians — Ar- ticles of the Jewish Faith — Traditions — Stimulants to Pride — Miraculous Escape — Coincidence — Omen. I WAS born in the year 1819, in Micklosh, a city pleasantly situated on the river Waag, in thet kingdom of Hungary. My parents were both natives of Hungary, and very strict adherents to that tonn of belief peculiar to the Jewish re- ligion. My grandfather on my . her's side Avas a Rabbi of the Synagogue in Miskolz, a city in the southern jiart of Hungary. My grandfather on my mother's side was the sexton of a Jewish synagogue all his lifetime. I was the eldest of tliirteen children with wliom my father was blessed, only four of whom survive at the present day. ISly father was an only son ; but for some cause lie left liis father's house when very young, and removed to Italy, the land of bright skies and balmy breezes. There he remained until 1 T ( 111 I \ 2 Al'TOUIOUltAl'IiV or he grew to man'cj estate ; but although he enjoyed consider- able prosperity in his business, he felt that it was not good for man to be alone. None of the fair daughters of Italy seem to have waited his fancy, for he returned to his native land and settled in St. Micklosh, where he shortly after maiTied my good mother, who was at that time the hand- somest maiden in the Jewish congregation. Here he re- sumed his business, subject to the usual a icissitudes of for- tune, during a long lifetime. He never was rich, but always honest, and scrupulously exact in the discharge of his re- ligious duties. He died triumphant in his faith, at the ripe age of seventy-one years. Peace to his ashes ! According to a tradition handed down by our forefathers, our family is descended from the tribe of Benjamin. But this can never be proved. No Jew now living in the world is able to say to which of the twelve tribes he belongs. Tlie greater number of them have not even a traditionary knowledge of their tribeship. Even the Levites, who re- tained this knowledge for the longest period, cannot at the present day be relied on ; and no doubt many lay claim to be descended from that tribe without the slightest founda- tion for such claim. This jwwer to prove their connection with the various tribes was destroyed when Herod the Groat burned all the manuscripts containing the genealogies. His object in doing so was to prevent any one from proving, as they could have done, that he was a usurper of authority to which he had no rightful claim. When quite an infant I was said to be such a pretty child that people came from far and near to see me. It is very hard for me to believe this now, if 1 am to rely on the testi- mony of the looking-glass ! All children are said to be beautiful ; and many people act upon the principle that the ULV. tUAULLS F«i:sUAIAN. 3 easiesl way to gain tlio favour of the mother is to flatter the baby, and perhaps I got more than my share. When but three years old I was taken to schot)! by a Gentile ser- vant, whose duty it was to carry me on her shouklers there and back. In subsequent times I liave often thought, how strange that a Gentile slundd be the first to bring me to a place of instruction ! There I commenced to learn the Hebrew al})habet, which is invariably the first lesson which a Hebrew child receives on entering school. The first religious instruction I received was in connec- tion with a ceremony called n^W The Fringes. This was performed by my mother, and consisted in putting ujwn me a little garment having four fringes, — one at each corner. This garment I was thenceforth to wear continually ; and every morning before breakfast, as soon I suppose as I could talk a little, my mother made me ask a blessing and kiss the fringes. This ceremony is considered of great import- ance among the orthodox Jews, and is in compliance with the command of God unto Moses (Num. xv. 38), " Speak unto the children of Isx el, and bid them that they make them fringes in the border of their garments throughout their generations, and that they put upon the fringe of the borders a ribband of blue." The design in w^earing this garment was, that ever}' time we looked upon the fringes we might "remember all the commandments of the Lord our God and do them ;" and perhaps it contributed as much as anything else constantly to remind us that we were a "peculiar people." , The first scripture lesson wliich was imparted to me, and which every father and mother in Israel tries to engrave upon the hearts of their children, was as follows : " Hear O Israel-: The Lord our God is one Lord : And thou shalt 1^ ■> ll ! ^■ 4 ALTOBlOUilA.i'Ur OF lovoi the Loivl thy Ood with all tliiiio heart, and with ail tliy aoiil, and witli all thy might." — Doiit. vi, 4, 5. What a pity that tlio boautiful supplcincnt of our Saviour, " and thy neighbour as thysolf," was not a])pendod ! 13ut, alas ! we were taught to hate and dcsiasc our Gentile neighbours, 05 perfectly consistent with loving God with lUl our heart. The verses quoted above are used on almost all occasions as a part of our devotions ; and invariably in the morning when we rise, i nd in the evening be^fore retiring to rest. The words bir\]ff^ i^y^U Sehemah Israel^ which mean, "Hear, O Israel," are the Sliibboleth of the Jews in the wliolo Avorld. My first recollections extend back,ward to the time when I was about four years of ago. I distinctly remember that about this time my father made a gi'oat festival in his own house, which they call mU'D, Sadah. It is customary among orthodox Jews that as soon as their children can read the first chapter of the Old Testament in the Hebrew lan- guage, all the friends, relatives, and associates of the child, are invited to meet on a certain Sabbath-day in order to celebrate this festival. It usually consists of a plentiful supply of eatables, — such a,s rich cakes, plums, nuts, ikc, — together with a glass of pure grape wine. The little fellow in honour of whom this feast is made is presented with a new suit of clothes. This time I was the happy recipient of the coveted treasure ; and oh ! how my little heart swelled with pride as I looked down upon my vest glittering with a bright row of silver buttons down the front, and thought how much handsomer I was than any of my companions or associates ! Perhaps vanity or pride is an ingi'edient in the nature of fallen humanity ; but never, I think, did any poor inoi*tal REV. CIIAULES ^'RLBIIMAX. li a or rocciv'O micli a largo share of it as fell to my lot ! If the science of IMirouolo^'y is to be relied on, I nnist luivo heeii endowed with a large development in that pai-t of the cranini where self-esteem is located, for while it is with humility I confess it, still, I must acknowledge that from my earliest recollection until the time when God in his in- finite mercy convci-ted my soul, I cherished tliat evil prin- ciple which had been seen so early showing its(^'f at tho festival. Perhai)s, however, this was not altogether owing to any peculiar natural proclivity or development, so much as to the prejudices of education. I had never been taught to consider it a sin ; on the contrary, I grew up in the belief that it was a virtue which God gave to the wise and the rich, — and as I meant to be either a wise man or a rich one, I thought it necessary to cherish it. I hope, however, since 1 have been enabled to put oft the " old man with his deeds," that I have laid this aside among the rest. My early religious training was strict in the extreme. I was not allowed to taste a drop of water or a piece of bread without first asking a blessing upon it. It would have been considered an unpardonable crime to partake of food with my head uncovered, as this was held to b3 a gi-eat violation of the Jewish religion. In fact, any habit or custom prevalent among -f . Gentiles was hated and de- spised by every sincere Jew. As soon as I was able to read the Hebrew with fluency, I was obliged to pray out of the prayer-book every morning and evening. This requii*ed about an hour for the morning and half an hour for the evening. Besides this, if I chose, I might gain additional merit by reading a psalm or two. But this was at my op- tion. The other was as inflexibly required as the sternest enactments of unyielding law. No matter how hungry I I iy> H 6 AUTOBIoaRAPHY OP miglit be in the morning, it was no use to think of break- fast until I had finished my prayers, for previous to that it coukl not be obtained. I cannot help here making the re- flection how much it would conduce to the spiritual welfare of the Christian world, if love to the Saviour would ii duce them to do what a mere sense of duty enjoined upon us. But the interior, or more private, duties of our religion, were not the only ones in which the utmost strictness was enjoined. In regard to the outward observances also I might say, " according to the straitest sect of our religion I lived a Pharisee." In fact such duties were forced upon me, — as, for instance, to eat such things only as were prepared by Jews ; strictly to observe the Sabbath-day (Saturday) ; to fast every Monday and Thursday until dinner-time ; to obey the Ten Commandments ; never to enter the place where Gentile worship was held ; never dare to read the New Testament, nor even the Old Testament in the German language- -for this was at that time considered a sin among the Jews. I was not permitted to associate with Gentile boys ; as we were taught to believe that the Jews were the only people of God, and that all the rest of the world would go to hell. Thanks be to God for the clearer light of a better dispensation, which teaches us that all may be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth ! May the time speedily come when the blessings of this glorious gospel shall be universally diffused, so that not only the " savage hordes " in " lands remote " may feel its influence, but the Israelite also, who for so long a time has been rejecting the true knowledge of the only wise God, and Jesus Christ whom he has sent, may realize that there is mercy with Him that he may be feared, and plenteous redemption that he may be sought unto ! \ '^1 REV. CHARLES FUESUMAN. If I could charge the Jewish religion with nothing worsa thin its dry formality and attention to form and ceremony, how willingly would I now cease to write ! But alas ! it la not so. Memory will not be silent. I was taught from my earliest childhood to hate and despise both Christ and the Christians, and to do all in my power against them. Even in my prayers I was obliged to insert certain words of blas- phemy against Christ. These words I had to learn off by heart ; for, as already mentioned, I had to pray fi'om a prayer-book in which the blasphemy was not inserted. As often as I passed the image of our Saviour on the cross (of which there are many to Ije seen in my native country, where the Roman Catholic faith predominates), I was taught other words of blasphemy again to repeat, as also to spit out three times, in token of contempt or utter abhorrence. We were taught to believe that Jesus, whom the Jews call ^V'rn, the 2\do, that is, the man wdio was hanged, was a bas- tard, and that because he made himself a God they crucified him. Prejudices against a >15 6ro?/, that is, a Gentile, were early inculcated, and became deeply rooted. We all learned to look upon them as idolaters, and hence unworthy of shaving a part of heaven Avith us — the chosen people. The remembrance of all this is very grievous unto me ; but I trust it leads me to magnify the grace of our Lord Jesua Christ, whom I now see to be the faii-est among ten thou- sand and the altogether lovely. At a very early age I was taught to repeat the thirteen, articles of the Jewish faith. These articles aJflirm the Unity of God, but a unity of a }>eculiar nature. They do not believe in the doctrine of the Trinity, in our sense of that term ; and yet there is a kind of plurality which they as- x:in Tana, i.e., teacher. This pleased me so much, that in one of my school books I actually signed my name after the same fashion. All this tended to make me more ambitious than ever, and pride, which seemed to be my besetting sin, was thus early striking its roots deep into my heart, and sending out branches in every direction to destroy eveiy other good quality. About this time a verj- serious accident happened to me, which, but for the kind interposition of a merciful Provi- dence, would have suddenly terminated my career. It occurred in this way. I with some other boys of my own age went down to the river Waag to play. The time of the year was in early spring, during the celebration of the passover, which generally takes place in the month of April, and corresponds with our Easter. "We played quite a while on the edge of the river, till at last we all agreed to gather OS many chips and pieces of wood as we could find, and send them down the river to the city of Pesth, as lumber. This •;-'* -* s REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 11 )!)ranch of iiidustiy (otily on a much largei' scale than we attempted it) forms th« principal part of the business done there. I had collected my little raft, and was just bending down close to the water's edge, for the purpose of pushing it off, when suddenly I lost my balance, fell into the water, and was carried away by the strong current. Not for a moment did I lose consciousness. I could think, feel, and l*eason. I distinctly remember that I was not at all afraid to die, but only soiTy that I could not be buried in the city, and have a grand funeral. But the principal thought which seemed to absorb all others was this : — Where now are the many blessings of my good Rabbi and gi'andmother ! If I am to find a watery gi*ave at this time, surely I cannot become a great Rabbi in Israel. However, down I was carried, much quicker than I have been able to pen these lines, about a quarter of a mile, still in the possession of perfect consciousness, when suddenly my head stinick violently against an iron post, and from that moment until some hours after, when I found myself in the house of a friend close by, I was utterly oblivious of everything that occurred. I learned afterwards that a young man (a Jew) who was standing on the bridge and saw me, heroically risked his own life in the attempt to save mine. He jumped down into the river, grasped me by my long hair, which I wore in curls then, and rescued me from a watery grave, just as I was on the point of being carried by the current under the bridge, where I should have been beyond the reach of mortal aid. When I again opened my eyes the whole thing appeared like a dream, and to the present day I have a mark on my head, which serves as a con- stant remembrance of my miraculous escape from a watery grave. in! 4 1^ t;i f ;)i I I- 12 AUTOBIOGKAPIIY. Here I may be allowed to mention a singular coincidence. My son Jacob, who is now a minister of the gospel, met with a similar accident, at about the same age, but was rescued by a Roman Catholic. How wonderful are the ways of God ! and how comfoiling iifter such experiences are the declarations of that Sa\T.our whom I used to de- spise : " Even the very hairs of your head ai"e numbered,'^ and "Ye are of more value than many sparrows ! " Since I have learned to love Him I feel that I owe my life to Him, and my constant determination is to devote it to His service. My grandmother considered this event as a great omen, or indication, that there was some important work for which my life was spared, and used to say repeatedly, " I am sure you will be a ^MiT] ^s:n Tana gaddel, viz., a great Kabbi. This seemed to be her highest idea of what human nature could attain to, and she was sure I would reach the top of the ladder. My good father, instead of giving me the same blessing, gave me a sound whipping, which was the first and the last I ever received from his hands. Perhaps this was a mistake on his part ; but if so, it is such a mistake as, I am sure, most children can easily foi-give, the testimony of such a respectable authority as Solomon to the contrary ■ notwith- standing. CHArTEH II. Progress in Study — Desire to be a Rabbi— School Incidents — Attain the Perfection of Piety — Sudden Change for the Worse — Anec- dote in Ilhistration — Compunctions — Leave School — Domestic Adversity — Benefits of — Prepare for Contirmation — Cerenmny of — Phylacteries — Too Poor to Purchase — Resolve to Leave Home in Consequence — Anecdote — The Penknife — Leave Home — Sen- sations — Incidents of the Journey — Arrive at Namensdorf. Soon after my recovery from the effects of tlie .accident just mentioned, I again resumed my studies; bat now my Rabbi was changed. The progi-ess which 1 liad already made rendered this necessary. I was now promoted to the study of the Talmud ; but while I was almost exclusively confined to this, my preliminary studies had been as full as usual. It was, however, very unusual for one so young to have made sufficient advancement to warrant his commenc- ing the Talmud. I was then only eight years of age, and yet I could read Hebrew well, and translate every word without difficulty, and very seldom would I requu'e a lexi- con. I could also repeat from memory many choice passages of tlie Old Testament, and whole Psalms in the Hebrew language. Even of the Chaldaic I knew a little. I had also been taught to read and write the Armenian language. In fact I never found any difficulty in accomplishing any- thing on which I had fully set my mind. Just at this time my mmd became fully possessed of the one determination— that of becoming a Eabbi— not an ordi- u AUTOBIOGIIAPHY OP i ''1 f it t I'i nary EabbI, such as one meets with every day, but a great Rabbi, such as those who had immortalized their names and imprinted their thoughts upon the pages of the Tahnud. Perhaps it was with a view to facilitate this result, that I began to have a most intense desire to know everything about a book called " Sohar," containing the " mysteries" or cabalistic symbols, many of which could only be understood by the highly learned. But the Rabbi would not allow me to thmk of such a thing, — not even to take it in my hands ; for he said it was only fit for very holy men to read, and not for such a little boy as I was. Prohibited from satisfy- ing this desire I went on with the study of the Talmud both day and night, for a Rabbi I was determined to become, and I knew that many long years of close study and intense application were jaecessary before I could be qualified to become a Tana gaddell. Some of my schoolmates were not particularly gifted with natural ability as students, or else lacked the ambition which acted as a stimulant on me, and incited me onwards. Cer- tain it is that they would often be found lagging behindhand with their studies. On such occasions they would come to me, and beg of me to assist them. This I was generally very glad to do, as they would mostly reward me with a kreuzer, (cent.) Besides, this recognition of my superiority over them was very gratifying to me, and incited me to still fur- ther efforts to excel. Thus pride and ambition worked hand in hand, and separately stimulated me to strive for higher victories over my schoolmates, and greater conquests over the difiiculties which presented themselves in my studies. Even the Rabbis encouraged me in this, and so furthered my pride. BEV CHARLES FRESHMAH. 15 Things went on in this way until I was eleven years of age, when, as far as I could judge from the precepts and ex- amples of the Talmud, I attained the highest pitch of per- fection attainable on earth. I used Uj read and pray a great deal in secret, fast very often, and be very strict in the performance of the minor points of our belief. Of course a great deal of tradition and superstition was mixed up with the pure doctrine ; but even now, when I look back to that time, I actually believe I loved the Lord with all my heart. Certainly that heart was a proud heart, and now I could not love the Lord if I cherished it ; but at that time I did not know pride was a sin. On the contrary, I thought the more holy a man is the prouder he ought to be ; proud of his holiness, and consequent superiority over his fellow creatures. There were times, however, in which I was humble, but it was only while in secret prayer, in the presence of that mysterious Jehovah whose wonderful name no Jew is per- mitted to pronounce without the greatest reverence. Yet as soon as I would finish prayer, I would again be myself, with pride as my king. I do believe those who jBlattered me so much in those days contributed greatly to develop this evil propensity. I used to be often told by my teacher that I was the best boy in the school, and I always considered myself as superior to any of my school-mates. I even used boastingly to declare to some of my class-mates that I knew more than the teacher himself. But alas ! " pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." How soon was I to prove the truth of this ! I was now entering upon my twelfth year ; but an unac- countable change came over me at this time. I not only became mischievous, but I fear positively wicked. I left off praying, commenced to desecrate the Sabbath, to read :i is m t ii 16 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF bad books, and even attempted to read the New Testament in Becret. 1 read until I came to the passage, " 1 and my Fatlier are one," wliich so exasperated me that 1 liiirled the book across the room, and from tliis thiu; I hated Cliristianity more than ever. Still my mind was ill at ease. Though young in years I reasoned and speculated with a maturity far in advance of my years. I felt a want of something which I already knew Judaism could not furnish me with, anci perhaps this will account for the change in my habits and conduct. Whether this will account for it or no, certain it is that such a change had taken place. In addition to what is mentioned above, I also neglected my books, played truant from school, and when anything would occur to ruffle my temper I would give dreadful vent to my feelings in violent expressions of most ungovernable rage. Perhaps a circumstance, in illustration of my mischievously wicked proclivities, may not be out of place just here. On a certain occasion I was punished in the presence of the whole school by my Rabbi, for playing truant. The pun- ishment itself was no more severe than usual, nor was it more than I knew I deserved ; but my proud spirit could ill brook the idea of being humbled before the rest of the stu- dents. The idea that I, the best boy in the school — I, who knew as much as my teacher — that I, who was some day to become a grand Habbi — should be punished like an ordinary schoolboy ! It was not to be entertained, it was grinding, humbling ; so I fully determined on being revenged. I had never been taught the precious words of the apostle, " Re- compense to no man evil for evil." The law which I had been taught and which I now resol od to follow was, ''An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." So I went home at noon, supplied myself with matches and sealing wax, came HLV. CHARLES FIIESHMAX. 17 > back in tlie afternoon, and waited for my opportunity. I liad not long to "wait. It was cvistoniary for tlic Raljbi, wlio was a very old man with a very long beard, to take a nap every day during recess. This afternoon I waited till he fell asleep in his usual position, with his head resting upon his desk. I then jumped in through the window, lit the matches, melted the wax, and sealed him to the desk by his beai\l. lie slumbered on unconscious, and I left him to enjoy pleasant dreams, and wake to an unpleasant reality — a thing Avhich often falls to the lot of poor mortals, whether Jew or Gentile, in this world. No doubt wJiile I was contemplating my revenge it may have been sweet enough, and while in the act of consum- mating it I may have thought myself exceedingly clever; yet no sooner was it done than I would have given anything to have liad it undone : but aftei-thought often comes too late. lie never discovered who did it, but my own conscience pun- ished me more severely than he could possibly have done, "^n years long after it woidd grieve me to the heart to think L the trick I had played upon that pious old Jew, and never wliile memory holds her seat will I be able to efface his image, as he lay there in the unconsciousness of innocence, with his beard sealed to his desk. I hope the good old man is now in heaven, and I trust his naughty pupil is on the way thitherward. Soon after this I left school altogether, and scarcely any- thing worth recording occurred dur-'ug the remainder of the year. I got into habits of idleness and distaste for further study. Having nothing to do but to loiter around and get into mischief, that part of my life is a blank which I can take no pleasure in looking back upon, and hence may bo excused for dismissing it with this short paragraph. But I ■t: ; i: t llltt 18 AUTOBIOGKAniY OF may Ray that so low had I sunk, and so much unlike myself had I become, that I no longer hud any more dcbires to be- come a Rabbi. Towards the close of the year my father met "with a mis- fortune in his business which invoh ed the loss of everything. So clean a sweep did it make of his property that, when it blew over, we had scarcely bread enough left in our house to satisfy our present demands. This circumstance, however adverse it seemed, proved a blessing to me in the end. It furnished me with something to do, and was the means of bringing me to the resolution again to try and be a good boy. One evening he came to me and said : " My son, I am going to leave home for a few weeks, as I have some friends in Galicia who will no doubt assist me when they hear of my misfortune. I shall have to leave you and mamma to take care of the children (seven in num])er,) during my absence, and upon your exertions their maintenance will principally dej»end. Take this powder (ink powder) and help mamma vo make some like it every day. This you can sell, and procure as much bread by this means as will suffice for your maintenance till my return." This circum- stance made such an impression on my mind, that I thought it was on account of my wickedness this misfortune had come, and I firmly resolved to commence praying again. I promised God that if he would only help tis out of this diffi- culty, I would again try to become a good boy. As if to encourage me in my resolution, as I was walking in the street the same day, to my great joy I found a groshen, worth about five cents. This I considered a direct answer to my prayer, and from that moment I resolved not to be mis- chievous any more, Imt to become a pious lad again, I REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 19 belicvn this was the turning point in my life ; and if I had not improved it I might have become one of the worst of men, and perhaps ere this have found a dishonored grave. In a few weeks, according to his promise, my father re- turned. His very presence brouglit again joy and gladness into the home circle. Ho had seen his friends, and for sev- eral evenings furnished us with amusement and instruction, as he related some of the incidents of his visit ; but better than all, he brought back with him a snug httle sum of money, which he invested in business again, and so things looked pleasant once more. In pursuance of my good resolution, I now went to school again under more fiworable auspices. This time I had a private teacher to prepare me for confirmation. I was now in my thirteenth year at which time the Jews confirm their children, or rather their boys — for girls among the orthodox Jews are not considered proper subjects for any religious ceremonies .ntil they are married. In fact some of them do not even allow their daughters to go to synagogue until that time. It is very evident that Miss Lucy Stone and those other "strong-minded women" who talk about " wo- men's rights," as well as that other large class who are now advocating " female suflfi*age," were not trained in any of the Jewish institutions ! The confirmation of a Jewish boy consists in teaching him how to use the phylacteries. These phylacteries consist of two pieces of parchment, on each of which is inscribed a passage of Scripture. These parcliments are enclosed iu leather cases and bound with thongs, one on the forehead, the other on the left arm. The practice of using these was not from the beginning, but was probably introduced among later supei'stitions. It is founded upon a literal interpreta- ? I 20 AUTOBIOailAI'HY OF tion of that passage where God commanded the Hebrews to have the law as a sign on their foreheads and as frontlets between their eyes. — Ex. xiii. 10. Our Saviour does not appear to condemn the practice, but only the abuse of it which prevailed in the days of his flesh, and which consisted in making broad their phylacteries for purposes of ostenta- tion, while the original intention was merely to preserve the law in their memory. It requires considerable practice before a person can know how to use these properly. But as they come into daily requisition this is soon acquired. Every Jew who has been confirmed is required to use them every morning during prayers, except on Sabbath and festival occasions. Every candidate for confirmation, who intends to become some personage of importance among them, is required, besides acquiring a facility in tlic use of these phylacteries, to read publicly in the synagogue a chapter of the Bible in Hebrew, and to address the congregation. Apart from this there is nothing solemn connected with the ceremony except when the father of the boy pronounces the words, — " I am I'elieved from the responsibility of my son." This gives the boy to understand that from that time foi-th he will have to be answerable to God, and before the whole world, for his own moral and religious character and life. As may be expected, I looked forward to this time with anticipations of the liveliest d< light. I would then cease to be a child, and if not become a man, at least make a rapid stride in that direction. But, alas ! when tlie time came, so long waited for and so anxiously anticipated, I could not be confirmed ; for my father was again so poor that he co\dd not even spare me enough money to purchase the phylac- teries, aAid I had no nice clothes in which to appear before REV. CilAULES FP.ESHMAX. 21 tlie congi'cgation. This was hnmiliating m the extreme, and drove me to the resolution of leaving my father's house and going to some distant city, where I thought I could easily enter some Jewish theological institution. I had, however, only twenty kreutzer in my possession ; but a single smile of fortune encouraged me to proceed. It was the follcing, which will serve to illustrate how boyish I still was in my ideas, notwithstanding my desire to be a man all at once. I had for a lon^ time coveted to be the owner of a pen- knife, all my own. Just as I was about to leave home some of my companions came to me and said they were going to have a lottery for a penknife, and if I would only give a kreuzer I might possibly win the knife. To this I agreed, but at the same time retired apart by myst.'lf to pray. I prayed for nothing but the penknife, and I believe the Lord heard my prayer ; at any rate I won the penknife, so I had a knife and nineteen kreuzer (about 24 cents) to start with on my journey. With a sad heart I took leave of my parents and the rest of the family. My mother was loving and affectionate, and it almost broke her heart to contemplate this first breach in her family. My father was strict and very honest, not less affectionate, but less en.Dtional. He would have seen his family in want sooner than defraud a creditor of a farthing. He could give me nothing but his blessing, which I did not value half as much as the 20 kreuzer given me by my good grandmother, or the penknife procured with one of them. However, I was not to be deterred from my purpose by seeming difficulties ; so bidding them all good bye, I started out into the "wide, wide world,"— alone. • The day was beautiful. The road on which I travelled was the highway, so that even after I got beyond the limits I 22 AUTODIOGHAPIIV Ot" 1. '. Hi fc^l '€ of the city, the cocstant traffic of those passing to and fro in pursuit of their usual avocations prevented me from feeling at all lonely. The Carpathian mountains, with their cloud- capped summits and colossal proportions, lay to my right ; and the river Waag, bespangled with fishing boats and pleasure crafts, to my left. Often liave I wondered, as I looked towards those mighty mountains in the distance, what sort of a world lay beyond their rugged peaks and mysterious recesses. But this was not tlje time for specula- tion. All was real around me, and stern necessity demanded action. I had chosen my pathway, and now I must pursue it. Perhaps it was natural that my first sensations on leav- ing home, and realizing that I had escaped from parental restraint, and was now my own master, should have been pleasurable rather than otherwise. But as I travelled on- wards, mile after mile, I began to realize the extreme loneli- ness of my position. The mountains with all their grandeur, and the river with all its beautv, becjan to lose their charms for me. As every step took me farther away from home, and brought me in contact with objects less and less familiar, I began to think it was not so bad after all to have a home, even if my father was not in circumstances to procure my phylacteries ; and, if my resolve to leave it had then to have been made, I do not think it would have been made at all. Even the people whom I met, and the traffic which was passing on the road, did not relieve my loneliness ; for I soon discovered that all these people acted upon the motto adopted by Young America: "Look out for number one!" So engrossed was each in the prosecution of his own affiiirs, that they feldom condescended even a passing glance at the poor young traveller, with his bundle ou his arm, pursuing his lonely journey. JIL-V. (HAKLKS ruESilMAK. 2.1 These feelings were, after a time, overpowered by the prevalence of a stronger one — the sense of hunger. Thanks to the forethought of my good gi-andmother, I was supplied with a large piece of cake to allay this appetite when it occurred. On this I regaled myself, and continued my journey, but being unaecuKtomed to walk so far at a time I soon became very tired. My bundle also, light enough at first, now became almost unendurable. How- ever, there were plenty of stones by the roadside, and >vhen- ever I got very tired I would sit down on one of these and rest myself. But now the shades of night began " falling fast," and I had nowhere to stop, so, weary as I was, I re- solved to continue my journey all night. I ran no risk by this resolve of losing my way, as at every cross-roads finger- posts were erected pointing out where the various roads led to, and the distance to such places in German miles, each of which is equal to about four English ones. It was about the first quarter of the moon, so that I could have no diffi- culty in deciphering the inscriptions on these guides, as they were no doubt intended to prove to the stranger who might require such assistance. If I were at all poetical I might try to give a de- scription of my native land by moonlight ; but as I am not, I must ask my readers to draw on their own imagination, as I can only give a poor idea. The River Waag meandered close by tlio roadside, in places calm and placid, each little rip})le sporting as playfully with its beams, and murmuring so gently in the stillness of the night, that no one would have thought it ca[»ablo of so nearly de])iiving any one of life as it had done to me a short time before. The rest of the country lying around, diversified with hill and dale, and now with light and shade. Some of those shaded caverns in m.^i a i n AUTOEICanAPHY of f I « ■ ^i tlio sides of tlic mountains, now enveloped in deep gloOlfi) M'^ould suggest tliouglits of hiding-places for hordes of ban- dits, or coverts for those supernatural appearances with which from time immemorial superstition has invested this earth. As I allowed my thoughts to go out in this direction, I could almost fancy I saw their weird forms and unearthly aspects emerging from the gloom. These feelings were not at all diminished when I suddenly came to a part of the road on which two men had been beheaded some time before. With- out thinking of my fatigue, I immediately took to my heels, and, without looking behind me, ran till I was completely out of breath. Fortunately I discovered a waggon a little in advance, and mustering what little strength I had left, I pushed on until I overtook ifc. I accosted the driver in the blandest manner I could as- sume, and requested him to give me a ride ; but a hoarse " Ugh" was all I got in response. Thinks I to myself, — Is he a hog ; can he do nothing but grunt in response to such a polite question 1 But on closer inspection I saw he had been imbibing rather freely of something ' stronger than the re- doubtable " lager," or else an unusual quantity of that. However, I thought the company even of a drunken man was preferable to that of the goblins, and the decapitated men Mdiose spirits I had fancied loiteruig around ;' so I jumped in, and glad enough was I to rest my weary limbs, and have some one by my side who I knew was possessed of real flesh and blood, jven supposing he was no company. But, alas ! for all mere earthly delights — they are short-lived at best, and this one proved no exception. We had not gone very far when, owing to his carelessness or incapacity to drive, he went too close to the edge of the road, the waggon upset, we were thrown or.t, and m;' bundle — which contained, REV. LilARLES FUESUilAX. rgon Ined, Jiiriong oilier things, tlio remainder of Diy cake — rolled do^vu into the AViiiig. I was sorry for the los;5 of iny ciike, but the loss of my bundle was a real relief, as I had enough now to hemy ! But I know it is only because "His mercy endureth forever." I plodded on my journc}'" till towards early morning, wliea it seemed as if tired nature could endure the fatigue no longer ; and glad was I when I came to a little tavern by the roadside, kept by an old Jew, who w^as already begiiming the labours of the day in order to bo prepared to accommo- date the early passers-by on their way to market. I was fain to crave from him a bito to eat ; after which I enjoyed a few hours of sweet repose on tlie soft side of a plank, ranged along the wa'l, which served the double purpose of 26 AUTOBrOGRAriir. seats for the company and a bed for swell unfortunate wights; as I, who coukl not afford to pay for a better. Notwith- standing the noise and bustle usual in such a public place, I slept well, and rose in two or three hours greatly refreshed, I rewarded him with three of my nineteen kreuzers, and started again on my journey, which I prosecuted during the whole of the day, and at night I reached my destination, — a place called Namensdorf, just two days before I would be of the proper age for confirmation, at which time I would be- come Bermizweh, which means, " A son of commandment, "" and accountable to God and the world for my own moral character and conduct — my parents being released from all responsibility in that direction^ CHAPTER III. Reception at Namensdorf — ^fy New School there— Difficulty in Maintaining myself— Hence Resolve to Visit Poland — Delay by the Way — Continne — Arrive at Bialla — Procure my Phylac- teries — Proceed to Holleshau — Become Student and. Teacher — ■ How I Maintain myself — Return Home — Off again to Prague — Traditions and Incidents there — Death of my Mother — Com- plete my Education and return Home. On my arrival in Namensdorf, I made enquiry for tlie house of a Jew, a dealer in butter, whom I had met in 8t. Micklcsli, and with whom I had some slight acquaintance. The Jcwa arc very particular in regard to butter, as well, indeed, as every other article of diet ; and will purchase from no one but an established dealer in that commodity, Avho is himself very careful in the purchases which he makes to see that it is prepared in strict accordance with the strictest injunctions of the Rabbles, and especially that it be not defiled with any- thing which may have had the most remote connection with their detested j^ork. This good man was surprised to Lee me, but made me welcome to the best which his house afforded — which, by the way, were no great things. A dish of steeped peas, without sauce or condiment of any kind, was set before me. I did not hesitate to commence, for those who have been in circumstances to j)rove it, must have realized that hunger gives a peculiar relish to even the coarsest fare, and, coarse as it was, I had the satisfaction of knowing that there was nothing olrjectionable in its mode 28 AITOBIOGUAPUY OF I ! H of prepariition, without which knowledgo I would hardly have dared to touch the best pies or cakes which could have been set before me. I remained with him during the night, and in the morning eni^uired my way to the Jewish Theo- logical Seminary. • This I found without diffic\ilty, and on presenting myself before the Kabbi, was received very kindly. This Ilabbi was a very pious :kl Jew, who would not allow any of his students to study anything except the Talmud. lie ex- amined me in regard to my proficiency in study, with which he seemed well satisfied. On ascertaining my financial position and prospects, he sent me to tlie Gabi (})resident) of the Jewish Charitable Association, for assistance. On hearing my stoiy he gave me thirty kreuzer (about half a dollar). I next had to look around for a place to board and lodge in. If I had possessed a fortmie, adequate to my own opinion of my deserts, I would immediately have rented a suite of rooms in one of the first-class hotels. But to a poor student with only thirty kreuzer in his pocket, and but a very uncertain prospect of supply when that was done, this project was out of the question. So 1 had to seek for accommodation in some humbler position. AVith great dijQiculty I at length procured a house in which I might obtain my meals three days in the week gratis. It was a Jewish fiimily, of course, but they could not furnish me with a sleeping apartment. This, however, after some search, I procured. But such a j^lace ! It furnished me with a partial shelter, it is true ; but no bed, iior any thing as a substitute for one, except a bundle of straw shaken down in a corner, and sometimes not even that. I had not even the consolation of reflecting that, "if lonely, I had peace ;" for during the night the rats and mice would dif-pute Avith me IILV. Cll.VrtJ.liS rRi:::lI.MAN-. 20 a I a ill the possession of my apartmont. Besides tins, a troOp of light iiifnntiy, too Diiiiiproiis to mention, Avoulrl coinmenco an attack from all i)oiiits as soon as 1 licgiin to tliiuk of repoRo. Tlioy would not even give mo tlio consolation Avhicli our Canadian mosquitoes so considerately furnish, that of *' singing a so]ig before taking a Lite I" I, however, resolved to study all the harder, knowing tliat in this way alone I could become a great Rabbi — and then all my troubles would disappear. In my new school I met with a number of Jev/ish students from Poland, a set of ignor.int, superstitious, and dirty fellows, with whom T never could make up my mind to associate. For, poorly as I fared, I piways managed to maintain an air of respectability in my a])pearance, v/hieli was ov\'ing, perhaps, to my natural pride. I maintained myself in this way : — I fasted two days in the week ; three, I was suj)plied gratis with my meals ; on the sixth, I used to in-ocure a roll of bread for a groslion (penny) ; and on the soA^'enth, all the poor students of the Institute were provided for among the different members of the Jewish congregation. As to Avashing and mending, I liad all that to do for myself. Still, I was comparatively hajipy, and always learned my lessons well. One thing, lioAA'ever, troubled mo : I luid not yet any phylacteries, nor did I see any prospect of obtaining them wh.ile I remained here, and I was now of proper age for confirmation. Hence I resolved to leave the place and go to Poland, where col- leges, for the training of young Jews, in great repute, were to be found. So off I started, without apprising my parents, or even bidding good-bye to my friends. On the first day of my travelling, vrhich of course vras again on foot, I came towards evening to a village not far from the city of CVakow. yLevQ T fell in with a JeAvish I 1 30 AlTOBIOORAl'IlY OP fiiinily, where I remained over iu<>-lit. Tho master of the house, on learning that I wiin a theological ntudent, pro- poised for me to remain in his family and teach his children, for which ho would give me fifteen dollars and board for six months. This I readily agreed to, as l)y this means I would be enabled to procure my long desired phylacteries, and other necessary articles of wliicli I was then in much need. Accordingly, I was duly installed as tutt)r in his household, and for a few days all things went on veiy smoothly and agreeably. But what was my astonishment when, one morn- ing, he ordered me to take the cow to pasture, and then go and help to dig potatoes ! But the end was not yet. When I returned from the performance of these requirements, ho coolly informed me that the horse was in the stable, whicli had not been cleaned for a long time, and I had better go and attend to it at once. There I stood, poor candidate for a " grand Babbi," obliged to submit to such a menial avoca- tion ! However, I executed this command also, as well as I could ; but when night came, and I lay on my bench (for this was my ordinary bed), my thouglits were not of the most exhilarating character. The world seemed so dai'k, and my pathway so hedged about witli diiHculties, that death Reemed preferable to life. The moon was shining down in all her splendour into the room where I lay, and as I watched her quiet and majestic motion, my thoughts became more tranquil, and I thought the best thing I could do would be ^o leave the place. Accordingly, without another moment's reflection, I raised the window^, jumped out into the moonlight, and Avas off again. I continued my journey all night. When morning dawned I found myself on a high hill, where lived an isolated farmer, into whose house I went to rest myself, and read my prayers; hev. ciiarles freshman. 31 «.nd liorc I mn)' mention thai, for t1)o first timo, I Itroko tho Jewish hiw, and ate hrviul with a Gontilo. J hud always such a horror of Gentile food, that it was with the utmost ' relnctanco I coninieuced my repast. After I had swallowed SI few mouthfuls, however, I began to think that Gentiles knew what was good for them as well as Jews. Certainly it was nnich more savoury than tJio sw(.'lled peas_ of ruy Jewish host a short time before. After thus i)artaking of his hos))itality, I wandered on, •weary onougli, and often very hungry, until 1 came to a city <;al](^d Jiialla. With the curiosity^, natural, I sup])0se, to all iOn arriA^ng in a strange place, I wandered through tho streets, reading the names and inscriptions above the doors. While thus engaged, I discov&red on one of tho firms tho name of a i^ei-son who I supposed was from my native /jountry ; so I ventured to go in and see him, if I could. On entering the establislnucnt, I immediately recognized a young man with, whom I was well actjuainted, but who was a Gen- tile, and had come here to learn the jewellery busin-ess. While conversiug with him, the owner of the establishment .also came in, and, on learning who I was, immediately said : " I know 3'-om' father well — he is an honest man ; it is a pity you are a Jew, but if you would like to become a Roman Catholic priest, I wUl send you to college where jou can prepare yourself, and by that means you may become a rich man, and so be able to help your poor father." I at once commenced to cry, and begged of him not to baptize me, as I never could become a Christian. " Never mind, then," said he, " I will not force you ; don't be afraid." He then gave me five gulden (about a dollar),''' and told me I * At ths present tune, five gulden would be worih §2. 50. n2 ArToni(;G«Arirv of miglit now go fvwny if T wiKlieil — a pcrmloiil'^n of avIiI.-Ii t was not slow to a\nil niyriclF, na I cousuleretl it a nio.st miracnloiis escape from Lcnng &wal.lowctI I'p hy tlio Oiu'iKtiaii dm roll. On Gliding iny?ic]r in tlio street i'giiin, my first tliov.p;lils v.Tve cf my 2^J>>j'^octericft, I had now the me?u)s of procuring thorn, wliicli I lont no time in tloin.g. Indeed tlio thouglits of thcn\ had Kscnvcely ever been out of my mind since leaving home. The pair I procured were not of that description condemned by our Saviour. They Avere not very broad, and not very expensive ; but tltey were phylacteries, and I was ns hapj'V OS any prince wlien T had tliem on. I h)oked upon tho money with Aviiich I had procured thcva as a special reward from God for my firmness in resisting tlie gi'eat inducements which had b.een effi red me, if I wouhl become a Rcnnisli priest ; and I was more rc,-;olved than ever to adhere to tlio relifjion of mv foi-efathers. 1 now laid out a plan to go to the great Jewish College in Moravia. To resolve was to act. 1 had, in those dii}'s, na trouble harr'^«?.sod : but sometimes I would have Ix: n ]ileased to eat my diimei*, when I did not do ifc ; sometimes I vrould have been pleased to sleep on a bed, when I did net do it ; but with these., and kindred exceptions, T was delight- fully free. And so I was free to start for IMoravia when I resolved to do it, and free to continue my journey during five long and weary days, till at last I arrived at the famous College of Helleslian. Here I very opportunely met a young student from my native city. Tie vras very kind to me, and / REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 88 mg OllS $' ■^'lig 'tf'' nr.d asRisted me in ]>rocurIng a homo wliore I could rosido during my stay in that [)lace. Ill my new homo wore two young ladies, who desired very Btrongly to learn the Hebrew language. 1 readily ngiced to teach it to them in consideration for my hoard and lodging, a compensation with which they and their parents were much better satisfied than if I had agreed to pay for it. This I again looked upon as a divine interposition in my behalf, and I resolved to study harder than ever. In conse- quence of this resolve, I had not been long at the college before I distinguished myself as a good BucJieral, (student). But the money which my friend in Bialla had given me was now all gone, and I began to feel very much in need again. In my extremity I wrote home for some. My grandmother and my good mother united their foitunes and sent me five gulden, which was the first and the last that I ever received from home during my college life. However, my wants were few. I had formed none of those expensive habits which "Young Aiftcrica" pennits her sons so readily to adopt. Havaiinah cigars, oyster suppers, gin cocktails* h he 42 AUTOEIOGHAniY OF clcc^larcd was just the tiling which would suit. I felt llio clotli, and examined it as well o.s the imperfect light would fidmit, without, however, unfolding it ; and as I was not very .scrupulous, thinking anything would he an improve- ment on the pair Avhich [ wore, I concluded to take them. He immediately scooped my money into his hand, bundled up the pants, and sent me off. What was my surprine when, on trying them on the next morning, I discovered they had only one whole leg, the other having been ampu- tated at the knee ! This circumstance furnished mo with one lesson in the great department of knowledge, called human nature, which w\as, after all, worth perhaps as much to me as I paid for it. However, it did not prevent me from being taken in on a second occasion in a similar manner. As winter approached, I wanted something to keep me warm wh^n I had occasion to go abroad, and accoi-dingly purcha^jed myself a mantle to throw over my shoulders, which himg loose around my person. On my first ap})epj'ance in this garment, I could not tell why all the smaller boys commenced to laugh, and the countenances of the larger ones to assume that peculiar expression characteristically denominated a " broad gi'in." I soon discovered it was not at my mantle they were laugh- ing, but at the appeu -ance of ray face and hands, both of 'which were blackened very much in those places where my mantle had touched them. On a closer (examination of my new-made purchase, I discovered that it had been originally white. Some miserable dye had been daubed upon it, in order to colour it, which would last long enough to give it an appearance till it was sold, but was never intended to stand service or wear. This was, in human nature, lesson No. 2. I I REV. CHAllLES rilESIIMAN'. 43 But T need not recount the progress which 1 made in this department, especially as it was not embraced in my college course. On the whole, I had much better times at Prague than ever I htid enjoyed av.'ay from home before. The young students paid me, often very liljerally, for assisting them in their studies. I was a general favorite among them, and was also much beloved by the Rabbi Eappaport, who was the head of the college at that time. My studies in this place were not by any means confined to the Talmud, but were principally devoted to the acquisition of languages and tlie jiiirsuit of scientific knowledge, histoiy, philosophy, ttc. For this, great facilities were ofi'ored us, as those of us who (Uisired to do so were permitted to attend lectures in other parts of the city, in Christian institutions, embracing sub- jects not taught in our own college. During my fourth year in Prague a sad calamity befel me. My mother had been ailing for some time, biit no one a])prehendcd anything serious as the result. All unex- pectedly 1 one moriung received a letter stating that my good mother was no more. Perhaps if I had been prepared for it, this intelligence would not have jiroduced such an effect as it did ; but it was poignant and bitter in the ex- treme. Little did I thiidc, when leaving home, that it was the last time I should look upon her dear face. I hope she has got safe home to glory, and, if so, it shall be my constant endeavour to be found worthy to meet her in that upper and better world, where all distinction between Jew and Gentile \/\]l be forever obliterated. This circumstance did not, however, deter me fi'om going on with my studies, as I was now in a fair way to attain the 44 AVTOBIOaRAl'ffY. I goal of my ambition — to 1)ecome a Hf'Ll)!. I coiitiiiiied to proseoute them with tlio utmost vigour until the end of my lifth year in Prague, wlien ]ny education wfus pronounced com- pleted. I received my diploma, and other credentials of the highest class, aiul returned hoTuo as proud of my position as a young jieacock the first time it spreads out its eye-spangled tail to the sun. Every step of my homeward journey I seemed to set down ifty feet Avith an air of gi'Ciiter import- ance, an;l carry my head higher than ever Ix'fore. I was nov/ a grjiduate of one of tlie most celebrated colleges in Prague — the great city of I^raguo, v/orld-renowned for its wisilom. / icas now a Ikiihbl — and a Eabbi in my own esti- mation of no mean importance. Henceforth, every llabbi who was not educated in I'rague must stand aside, and give place to me as to a suj>erior order of creation. Here I may observe, in concluding this chiipter, that, un- like the practice in Clnnstian cliurclies, no ordination, nor ceremony equivalent, is required previous to enteriiig upon the duties A a Eabbi. As soon as he hos completed his educa,tion, and arrived at the i-equired standard of attain- ments, he receives his diploma to that effect, and is thence- forth competent to enter upon the discharge of his duties, as soon as he can procure a congregation. CilAPTER IV. DilHoalty in Selecting a Wife— My Father now llieli — Short Court- ship and Marriage — Amusing Incident — Grow Indolent — (io into liusincsb and Fail Twiee — .Seek a Congregation — State of Hungary during the lv(; volution — Political Troubles induce ine to leave — Arrive in Canada — Dililoulties — The English Language — Obtain a Congregation in Quebec — Attempt to Froach in Eng- lisli— Sabbath Deaccratioii — Mental Conllicta — Keminiscence — the Gormau Bible. Now that my education was completed, and I possessed all the q\uililications so long desired for becoming a Tana Gad- dd, my next business should have been to look around for a congregation. But [>eople arc not always found doing what tliey ought to do, and I was no exception. 1 liad read somewhere in a good old book, " He that lindeth a wife, fuidetli a good thing" (Pro v. xviii. 22), and that passage began to work itself iipjiermost in my mind. I believe the man wlio w^rote it got "too much of a good thing;" but with all my ambition, I was not ambitious to follow his ex- ample in that resj)ect. If I could get one good one, I would be satisfied. After all, perhaps, tliis was not a purely selfish desire, for I was informed by m^ friends tliat without a wife I should not so easily get a congregation. Many of the young ladies of St. Micklosh were proposed to me, but there was some drawback in the case of each. One was too young ; iinother not handsome enough ; a third not ricli enough ; a fourth had not received education enough to be the wife 4C AUTOl3iOi;UAl'IIV OF ! of a ll.'iljbi from Pi-ague ; a (iftli was all rimlit in v,\vvy respect, but — I wtmld not suit hor ; and ho I spent a wliolo year in looking out for a wife, as a prc.'liniiuiuy essential to procuring a congregation. My father's circumstances at this time had undei-gone a very great change for the better, so much so, that he was now considered among the more wealth)' Jews; while a short time before he was not able even to send his son a dollar while at college. But such are the' vicissitudes of life. This circumstance only tondcxl to increase my pride, and make me all the harder to please in selecting a companion. Per- haps if I had been left entirely to myself, I might not have beeft able to find one to this day, who came up to the stand- ard of i^erfection of which I thought myself worthy. But things in those days, and in that country, were very different from what they are in the present day. The parents gen- erally used to dispose of their daughters as they pleased, and the daughters would generally fall in with the arrangement without a murmur. So, after I had wearied myself looking around, and trying to make a selection, I found another who kindly took the task out of my hands. It occurred in the following way : — One New Year's day I was invited to go and dine with a rich Jew and his family, about an hour's w^alk from home. He had heard me officiate several times in the synagogue, in the capacity of Babbi, and, my vanity led me to suppose, had discovered in me some marks of superiority above my fellows. I was very glad to accept his invitation, for the wealthy and the learned could always command my attention \ at any time. While at dinner a conversation took place to the following effect : '' Well," said Mr. A , the father of KEV. CHARLES FKESIIMAX. 47 tho family, "I suppose you want to ^at married T " Yes," Baid 1, "if I can only find a wife to suit mo." "If you aro not too hard to j>Iea.se," said ho, " perhaps you would not object to my dan.<,diter I" " Whore is slie?" said f. ''Why, right tliore next you," he replied. Up to this point I liad not observed who was sitting next to me. As I turned to look upon her, I beheld a fair young creature covered with blushes, who had suddenly discovered something interesting on tho floor, at which she was intently gazing. Although she was strikingly beautiful, I thought to myself, " You will never do for a Kabbi's wife, you are so young and so very small." Still I made no audible reply. After dinner I went out into the garden for a v.-alk, but could not dismiss the subject broached at table from my mind. I began to contrive some plan by which I might seo her, and have some conversation with her alone. As good l)rovidence would have it, she came, after a while, into the garden — by chance of course — (such things ahvays happen by chance). I immediately went up to her, and opened a conversation. T found her tj be intelligent beyond her years; educated, pious, handsome, very interesting in every respect ; and, to crown all, the daughter of a rich Jew. Taking all these things into consideration,, and weighing them against her extreme youth and smallnet-;s of stature, I thought, after all, " she is just the one I have been want- ing ;" and she appeared to have no objection to me. So after four weeks we two happy creatures were made one. I iSblieve there is a proverb in English to this efiect : " Marry in haste and repent at leisure." If that is what they do in England, I am glad I did not go there to get married. I have now had twenty -four years of leisure since 4.6 ALTUliiOGi{ArHY OF i ' the knot was tied, and liavc iiovei' ppont a single moment of tliat time in repentance. If slie were not likely to see wluit I write, I could say a great many handsome thingr4 aLout her ; but, without at all fearing to inalic; her vain, I must say she has been a faithful helpmeet, a devoted wife, a good mother, and now, I am ha})py to say, a pious Christian mother. In this coiniection let me relate an amusing incident. When about ten years of age, I went, in company with my grandmother, to spend a day out in the villa, some distance from Mieklosh, where one of our rclatis es residely involved in debt. Nothing daunted, however, my father-in-law paid my debts, and again set me up in [mother business, 1, mean- while, ofliciating occasionally as llabbi in some of the small neighbouring synagogues, whose numbers and wealth would not warrant them in keeping a stated pastor. There were many of these throughout the country, in villages and small places. These had to depend on casual occurrences and chance circumstances for a supply. In these, then, I used to officiate occasionally, while engaged in business ; but I fcoan found I could not do two things at once. I f gain failed in my business as before ; and this time I resolved I would not be induced to commence it again. So I started forthwith away from home, in quest of a congregation. Hungary was at this time a free country, and was known as a land of refuge to foreigners, especially to the Jews. Accordingly, the great body of Jews in Hungary were com- posed of various nationalities, in respect to the land of their birth ; therefore, when the revolution broke out in 1848, it was to be expected that many of the Jews would stand up for liberty and freedom. In this the celebrated Kossuth encouraged them, by ins presence and his patriotic sj)eeches. Many. of the Jewish Rabbles and Protestant clergymen went along with him, heart and soul. The congregation which I obtained were unanimous in opposing the encroachments of the Austrians. I soon became very popular amonjp'st them, 8 50 AUTOBIOGllAPirv OF as I lost no opportunity, in public or private, to condemn the policy of the Austrian government. The whole country was at this time in a most critical position. Even after the termination of the war, although a partial adjvistment of affairs was made, no one of those who had opposed the Aus- trians could repose with any feeling of security. After a time, spent in great insecurity, and in a very unsettled state' of mind, I resolved to leave the country. As I had heard wonderful stories of the civil and religious I'berty of the New World, I resolved to make that my ftiture residence. Thus the good providence of God brought me, with my good wife and five children, to tins country, in the month of July, 1855. On coming into this New World, the first difficulty we experienced was, that we could not speak a word of English ; the second, that we had very Kttle mxDney left after our long voyage ; and the third, to obtain a situation as a Rabbi. The first difiiculty, however, seemed the most formidable. 1 thought I never could learn the English language. The first time I heaixl it s-j^oken, was by a gentleman in tlie railroad cars, in my own native land. I suspected it was English as soon as I heard it, but, in order to make sure, I turned to a fellow traveller^^ and asked him, " 1st das die* Englische sprache 1" (Is that the English language?) Her replied in the affirmative. " Well," thought I, " such a hissing, hoarse, jumbled-up conglomei^ation of sounds with" out meaning, I am sure I can never learn.'' Tliis, however^ did not deter me, and I pushed onwards, every hour remov- ing me farther from the scenes and hal- ^ed associations of my youth. On aniving in Montreal, C. E., I went immediately to see* Dr. DeSola, the Jewish Rabbi of the Portugese congregation^ REV. CHAKLES FKESHMAN. 51 emn ntry V the It of Aus- :ter a stated heard )f the lence. f good nth of Itv we nglish ; Lir long bi. ddable. The in the it was sure, I Idas die- |l) He such a Is with' (owevery remov' Itions of ly to see* legation- ill that phxce. On producing my testimonials from the chief Rabbi of Prague, and credentials from the other colleges wliicli I had attended, he at once received me cordially. He gave me a letter forthwith, recommending me very strongly to tlie Jewish congregation of Quebec. On the strength of this recommendation, I took my family to Que- bec, where, after a meeting of their official board had been called, Mr. Benjamin being ])resident, I was duly approved, and installed as their llabbi, a position which I continued to occupy for about three years, until the light of the blessed gospel began to shine into my poor and benighted, >^^ough })roud and Pharisaical heart, and T became a follower of the meek and lowly Jesus, whom I had formerly rejected and despised. " Oh, happy day that fixed my choice, On Thee, iny Saviour and my God !" My congregation in Quebec was composed of mixed nationalities of Jews, but chiefly German and English. I used to officiate in the Hebrew and German languages. It was not until I had been a long time among them that I tried to conduct a service in English. I had, however, over estimated my own powers, and miserably failed. The Rev. Mr. Marsh, of Quebec, who was present, notwithstanding my failure, gave me every encouragement to proceed in the eifort to master the language, telling me that if I would study the language more, he had no doubt I would be aljle to excel many of our native-born English preachers in power and effect. W'thout believing implicitly in his prophetic inspu^ation, his encouragement stimulated me to persevere, and took the edge off of the mortification which I felt on becoming sensible of my failure. Although I have now i i t ir 1 52 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF attained considerable fluency in the use of the language called "plain English," the tones of my own dear "mutter sprache" possess a charm, and have a power of setting my soul on fire, especially when I speak about Jesus, of which I can give but a faint conception through the medium of the English language. One thing struck me as very strange, — this I observed in connection with my charge in Quebec, almost as soon as I had entered upon the discharge of my duties there : it was the little regard which the Jews paid to their Sabbath-day (Saturday). Many of them, after the services of the syna- gogue were over, would repair to their usual places of busi- ness, or go to the pursuit of their usual pleasures, apparently uimiindful of that command so strongly set forth in the law : " Kemember that thou keep holy the Sabbath-day." I was horrified at their impiety, and remonstrated with many of them, reproving them severely for their conduct. Their excuse was, that the observance of the Christian Sabbath was enforced by law, and they could not afibrd two whole days in the week from their business. Besides, they had to compete with the Christians in business, and if they would not accommodate their Christian customers on that day, they would withdraw their patronage, without which they could not make a living. These, of cou. e, were weighty objec- tions, but I succeeded in a few cases in over-ruling them, and enforcing strict observance of the Sabbath, according to the requii-ements of the Mosaic law. But my success in this respect was not very marked or extensive. , I used to spend the Christian Sabbath in visiting my congregation, as they mostly spent that day in idleness or recreation. Often, as I would pass through the streets, and see the large congregations thronging towards the various REV. CHARLES FRESIIM^\:n'. 58 Clirl«tlan clmrches, or streaming homewards from the ser- vices, my mind would be variously exercised regarding them. At one time I Avould think, " What a pity that such a multitude of people will so easily believe a falsehood, and blasphemously worship a bad man !" But, again, I woidd reflect, " Here are men of intelligence, men of education, men of a profound acquaintance with human nature, men who have the Old Testament Scriptures as well as I have, men Avho are accustomed to exorcise their reason and judg- ment in regard to their worldly aftaii-s, and men who, I am sure, do not place implicit confidence in the Christian reli- gion without some strong foundation upon which to base it. What if, after all, I have only examined one side of the question ? What if, after all, they should be right, and T be wrong?" These kind of thoughts I usually dismissed with an effort, as a temptation of the devil, but they would fre- quently recur again, in spite of myself. Thus was the spirit of God working upon my mind, and leading me step by step towards that great change which He was so soon about to work in me. Before entering, however, on a detailed account of that wonderful chain of circumstances which led to my convic- tion and conversion to God, I may be permitted just hero to recall a circumstance which happened in my own native land, as an appropriate conclusion to this chapter. One night during the progress of the revolution to which I have adverted, I happened to be remaining at a hotel in the city of Cashaw. While there, a Jewish missionary, em- ployed by the Scotch Church, was jiassing through Hungary, selling very neatly bound editions of the Old and New Testaments, very cheap. He came to the hotel at which I I 54 AUTOBlOGllArilV OF was stopping, aiirl offered mo one of his books. I toM liim 1 ^lid not want any, as I had copies enough of the Old Testament ; and as for tlie New, I woukl not give a krenzer for one. But he was not to be put off so easily. He said to me, " If yon do not want the New Testament, cut that part out, and sell it to some poor Christian ; you will then have the Old, and besides, I have no doubt, make something by the transaction." There was something so persuasive in his mannei', and his whole address, that I felt myself drawn towards him. Of course I did not know he Avas a converted Jew ; if I had, I should not even have conversed with him. As it was, I felt very much inclined to purchase one of his books. I thought to myself, as he offered me a beautiful gilt-edged one, handsomely boimd, for a gulden (fifty cents), "why, it is very cheap ;" so, without more ado, I purchased it — not that I felt any desire to read it, but because the pleasant colporteur almost forced it upon me. I have been thankful to God for that purchase, many a time, since the light of the Holy Sj^irit has shone into my heart ! I took it home wdtli me, but never even looked into it. I left it lying among my books somewhere, and when I was coming to this country I left a number of my books in Hungary, which would only have been an encumbrance, and I thought I had left this among the number. "What w^as my surprise, therefore, on arriving in Quebec, and un- packing my books, to find among them this Bible, with the New Testament in it ! I mention this circumstance here, because this little Bible plays no unimportant part, under God, in that wonderful chain of events by which I, r *>oor benighted Pharisee, was brought out of darkness into light. I had not then discovered its value, as was verv evident REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 53 hj mj conduct ; for, as soon r.s I discovered it amo..^ mv books, 1 took it and locked it up among my jn-ivato p.^ers, lest my own wife or cluldren, or some of my congregation, should hnd out that I had such a book in my possession. I telt like a guilty person because I did not destroy it at once • bnt I believe God, in an inscrutable manner, dii-ected the whole transaction, to bring about the fin: i result Bnjb I must not anticipate. ■p "^^oor ciiArTER y. Circumstances whicli led to iny Conviction — Begin to Douht — Eead the Isew Testament — The Iloman Catholic Procession — The Eabl)i from Jenisalcm — Doubts still Un.satisficd— Mental Con- llicts — Sermon for the I'assover — Strange Dream— Resign my Jlabbiship — Opposition of my Family and Congregation — Absurd Rumours — Visited by Rev. J. Elliott : his Prayer— Attend a JSIethodist Service and Class-^VIeeting — ]\Iisconceptions of Chris- tianity — Another Interview with ^Mr. Elliott -Temptations of the Enemy. I NOW Login to approiicii the most important period in my history, and my own idea of its importance must be my excuse for going into considerable detail. I will also, just here, take occasion to beg the liberty of making use of the names of some who, under God, were instrumental in Ijring- ing me out of darkness into tJie marv(dlous light of the Gospel of Christ. Before entering upon the account of my conversion, how- ever, a detailed account of that wondei'ful chain of circum- stances which led to my conviction of the errors of Judaism may not be out of place. Towards the end of my thii-d year in Quebec, I have explained how my mind used to be exercised in regard to ■^.lie Christian religion. On such occasions, I have felt strongly tempted to look into tliat New Testament Avhich I still kept locked up in my private desk. I generally resisted the temptation, after a. brief mental conflict. But REV. C'IIAHLES FRF-SHMAN. 57 on one occasion, after prcjicliing to my congregation about the restoration of the people of Israel, my niiml became more beclouded than ever, and I felt I did not fully believe all I had told my people. In this state of dissatisfaction and perplexity, I went to my desk and carefully unlocked it, all the while trembling as if I were about to commit a groat crime. Taking out my Bible, I went into my library and locked the door, so that I might not be dis- turbed. When thus secure from interruption, I opened the New Testament, and commenced hastily to read a few pages ; but, after a very short time, I threw it away in disgust, thinking all the while I had been reading, " This cannot be !" "That is impossible!" So disgusted did I become, that I believe if a fire had been in my room at that time, I would have thrown the book rigi?t into it. Soon I took it up again — read a while, and again threw it from me. So I con- tinued for about an hour. At last I became so excited, that on again taking up the book and reading awhile, 1 threw it on the floor with such violence that several leaves Avere torn from their places. In a moment afterwards I was seized with remorse for Avhat I had just done, and, gathering up the loose leaves, I placed them in their proper places, carried the book to its former hiding-place, and locked it up, with a firm resolve never to look into it again. Evening came, but my mind was so greatly di.si\irbed that I could scarcely perform my routine duties in the synagogue . and even when night came I could get no rest. Still, I did not know exactly what was the matter with me. The next day being the Christian Sabbath, 1 went as usual to visit among my congregation. I first called upon Mr. Jacobs, the president of our synagogue. As soon as he saw me, he enquired what was the matter with me, "for," said he, "you 3* 68 jLUTOBIOGRAPIIY OF do not look well." I, liowever, kept my own counsel, and made no reply. lie then said to me, " llabbi, you will have an opportunity to-day of witnessing a veiy strange spectacle, the like of which, perhaps, you may never have seen before." He referred to a grand proce?';': ?ii which was to pass through the streets. In a short time it came along, and it was indeed an im- posing spectacle. All the Koman Catholic priests of tlio city, dressed in their full canonical costumes, according to their various orders, with the Host elevated before them, passed in front. These wer(! followed by a numerous reti- nue, among whom were exhibited, in great variety, banners, crosses, and images. As I looked n})on them, I fancied the priests of olden time must have presented a somewhat similar appearance. I watched them disap})ear in the distance, un- able to repress the mental exclamation, " How long, O Lord, how long shall we poor Jews be deprived of our glorious restoration !" All this only tended to increase my mental perturbation- " How strange," thought I ; " the sermon yesterday, the affair with the Bible, and the procession to-day — all contri- buting to keep the Christian religion continually before my mind." All this I looked upon as an omen of evil. Still, I made no remarks on the subject, but went home, resolved more than ever to lead a strict and pious life. From this time an all-controlling desire arose in my mind carefully to study the Prophets, especially those having refer- ence to the coming of the Messiah. While engaged in this occupation, a Jewish Rabbi from Palestine,* who had been sent out to America to collect money for the poor Jews of * His name in the Hebrew is jn^n ?lTnJ Nachum Hakohen. He is probably still alive. H REV. CHARLES FUESII.MAX. 59 Jerusalem and Damascus, happcnod to be in Montreal, where I wtus on a visit at the same time. I met him at Dr. De- Sola's. Ho could only converse in the Hebrew and Arabic languages, so that very few except the doctor and myself could have any conversation with him. After he had col- lected something among the Jews in Montreal, he asked me whether I could do anj'tliing for him among my congregation in Quebec. I readily agreed to do all in my power, thinking at the same time, I should have a iine opportunity of con- versing with him about those dilTercnt traditions and beliefs which now characterized our religion in difibrent parts of the world, and also of hearing from him something about those sacred curiosities, so dear to the mind of a Jew, which are to be found nowhere else but in his native land. But chiefly I wished to converse with him about that person whom the Christians worship as " Jesus of Nazareth." I was, therefore, much pleased when he informed mo that, being tired of travelling, he would gladly rest with me a few days. He accordingly accompanied me to Quebec, and during the time he remained witk us we wer-- never separate, for he would not even take a meal of victuals anywhere but in my house, for fear they might not have been prepared in strict accordance with the requirements of the Jewish religion. I sliall ever be thankful to God for this visit at that time. It seexiis to me altogether providential that, just at that period, when my mind was so unsettled, I should have the privilege of conversing on these p.^-plexing subjects with one who lived, I might say, in the very place where these wonderful things detailed in the New Testament had trans- pired. We used to sit up until after midnight, conversing upon various topics, all very interesting to me. On these occasions, many questions which I had never before thought 00 AUTOlUOCRArUV OF about would sjnini; uj) in m}'- mind, wlien I •would imme- diately ask his opinion in relbroncc to them. On the evening before liia d(>pai'ture, the subject of con- versation was the " Messiah.' I asked him what the Jews in Jerusalem thought aboiit the coming of the Messiah. *' We are looking for him every day," said Ik^ " And what," said I, " do our people there think about TalnV^ for at that time I did not venture to call him Jesus, since the Jews call him, as already mentioned, Taluy that is, the "crucified impostor." " Of course," said I, "you, who are living almost on the very spot where he lived and died, must have some more reliable tradition respecting Iiim than we have here!" lie then gave me the tradition Avhich the Jews in Jerusalem hold. Tliis I found altogether diflerent from the one Avhich I had received while at college in Prague. Upon this I asked him how it happened that we, as a people, taken all the world over, had not one and the same tradition on a subject of such gi'oat importance? "We. had at one time," said ho, " but since we have had to suffer so much persecution about it in different countries, we never published it in any of our books ; and so, in many places, the true tradition has been lost ; but we in the Holy Land preserve the true account to this day." Here I may mention that the tradition is of such a blasphemous nature, that I must be excused from publishing it even here. My opinion is, the sooner it dies out the better. " And do you actually believe," said I, " that there is nothing in the Old Testament which refers, in any way, to Him in whom the Gentiles believe as their Messiah ?" "No," he replied, " not a word." " Then how in the world does it happen," said I, " that the j^rophets, in whose inspiration we all believe most firmly, and who have foretold every event, 1U:V. CHAULF.S rUEi.UlMAN. ei to gi'oafc I d small, in r- foroiice to our nation, slioukl so over- look such a great ciitustroplio, as not to incutioii a word about it ! Even if ho \\'viv nn iiuixjstor, they would, at least, have said souuithiiig to warn us not to follow him ; especially since it is written, ' Surely the Lord will do no- thing, but he revealeLh his secret unto his servants tho [ir )|)hets ?'" — Amos iii. 7. The poor llabl)i stood there as if struck diinib. This was a new idea to him, the glimmerings of which had never entered his mind, and of coui'se he had no reply to make. After a few moments deliberation ho said : " As soon as I get home I will take your question — which is, I admit, of great importance — into earnest consideration, in company with other learned Ptabbies ; and whatever result we may arrive at, I shall let you know as soon as possible." He left the next day, but from that time to this I have never heard a wonl from the good llabbi. I hope the Lord may make his enquiiy and research result in his conversion ! Af^'^r he had gone, leaving my question unanswered, in this manner I thought to myself, — " If a Rabbi from Jeru- salem cannot answer this question, it cannot be answered, and there is something wronij with our belief — a screw loose somowhero." From tliis time my mind became more aroused and agitated tlian ever, and my inclinations to the opinion that the Christians m'ujht be right, sti'onger than ever. I even commenced to speak my thoughts aloud to some of my congregation, upon the subject that lay so close to my heart ; and, notwithstanding all my former resolu- tions not to read the New Testament, I again found myself perusing its pages, not ojily in the German, but in the ' English also, in the study of which I had made considerable progress. V*,1 62 AUTOBrOGRAPHY OF I had a very pious Christian noiglihour, a Mr. ITinton, with wliom I used to spend hours in conversing on religious topics, and who assisted me very greatly in mastering a readinii-knowledjire of the Enj^lish language. After such conversations Avith him, I used to feel. what a miserable position I occu])ied ; for I felt in my heart that I was no longer a Jew, and yet I revolted at the idea of becoming a Christian. I now neglected all Jewish ceremonies, except the mere routine duties of my profession ; and when I stood up in the synagogue to conduct the service, I felt that I was a hypocrite. Still, I did not believe in the authenticity of the New Testament, so that my position was altogether a most un- enviable one. I had no rest by day. Even the silent watches of the night refu'^ed to bring " Tired nature's sweet restorer — balmy sleep " to my poor wakeful eyes. Many a time have I spent the whole of the night, searching in the Bible, and among Jewish Av^i'itings, for matter having a direct bearing upon the all-absorbing question of the Messiah. Still, conviction came not. Sometimes I would even think the whole Bible was a work of fiction. Again I would doubt the good providence of God, in causing me to be born a Jew. But sometimes I wculd become all but persuaded of the truth of Christianity, and then I would reflect, — " What will become of my poor wife and family, if I shoidd renounce the faith of my fathers, and become a Protestant?" (For I never had much opinion of Roman Catholicism). Thus would Satan, the tempter, continually harass my mind with difficulties, which contributed to hinder my progress in the search after truth. I believe now that my greatest REV. CIIAIILES FRESHMAN'. «8 mistake during that period was, that I woukl not entrust any one with tlie secret which burdened my mind, and was wearing out my life. Tlie Jewish Passover was approaching, and, as usual, T had to prepare a special sermon for the occasion. Never liad I experienced more difficulty in doing so than now. I now neither believed in the Jewish religion fully, nor yet was I convinced of the truth of Chiistianity. This being the case, I thought the most honourable coui'se for me to adopt, would be to resign my Rabbishi}) at once. But here greater difficulties than ever began to accumulate. My good wife, to whom I broached the sul>ject, was altogether against it. " How will you support your family ?" she woidd ask mo, " and, as for myself, I will never become a Christian. No, never !" I was thus in a measure forced to practice hyi)ocrisy, and I accordingly commenced, with a heavy heart, to prepare a sermon for the Passover. The text I chose was — " The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh come ; and unto him shall the gatheiing of the people be." — Gen. xlix. 10. During my preparation of this subject, douljts -vould continually spring up in my mind : — " Wliere is now the sceptre and the lawgiver 1 Where are now the morning and evening sacrifices ? Where are now those distinguishing marks of our religion which charac- terized it in the days of its glory and magnificence 1 Where is even the tribe of Judah itself, much less the sceptre swayed by that t^ibe f These and kindred questions, all unanswera1)le, would start up in my mind ; and it is not to be wondered at, that when my sermon was completed, I determined not to preach it. This sad state of things could not long continue ; so I called in my wife, and told 64 AUTOBIOGJIAPIIY OF I i ! I her that I coukl not on any account j)rcach Judaism any longer, giving as my reason my firm belief, thus expressed for the lirst time, that the Messiah had already come in the person of J-h to break her down. She com- menced to weej) bitterly. Tliis soon attracted my elder children, who, on learning the state of affairs, joined in with their mother, and we had a house filled with lamen- tation and mourning. I must confess I had to weep myself. Being unable to eidure the sight of the misery I had thus brought upon r v family, I left my home and repaired to a solitary place bcj'ond the barracks of Quebec. Here no human eye could witness my misery, and, in an agony of soul, I threw myself on the ground, and cried miglitily to God. It was a strange prayer, not to be found in our priiyer-book, but befitting the occiision ; and that cannot always be said of printed jnuyers. Still, relief came not. J had in my heart renounced Judaism, but I had always an nnspeakable shrinking, whenever I thought of acknow- ledging its errors in public. With a heavy heart and a dim eye, looking, I suppose, as wretched as I felt, I retraced my steps homeward. There I found my ftimily jnst as I had left them, still bivbhed in tears. Without saying a word, I went into my bed-room, where I remained awake until after midnight, reading my Bible and praying. At last nature became exhausted, and I fell asleep in my cliair. While there I had a very strange dream. I thought I was in some great trouble, out of which no one »vas able to de- liver me, and was just about to resign myself up to despair, when I beheld an image of the Saviour on the cross, over whose head were inscribed the v/ords, " I am thy Saviour." r.KA', ( HAi:i.F>; frksitman. fin ?, over T ininiodiaii'ly av/okf^, and, after pondering upon the .strange dream avrhilo, came to tlie firm resolution that T would n(jt ba e.dlod a Je«kV any longc^r. But, alas ! the fl(>sh is weak. AVlieu I came to give in my resignation, my moral courage failed me, and so I put it off' again. On the day before the Passover, I took my Bible, and with a tnu^ praying spirit I approached the mercy-seat of the mysterious Jehovah, and prayed that he would lift upon mo tlie light of His countenance, and show me the right way. WJiile I was thus engaged, Mr, Hinton called in to see us, of which my wife duly informed me ; but I would not see him, as I desired to 1)0 alone and \indisturbed. I still pondered on the t(^xt which I was to have preached from on the morrow, little dr(?aming when I selected it, that it would thus have been made the means of my awak- ening. In connection with this verse, I also opened at the fifty-third cha})ter of Isaiah, and taking down a commen- tary, I read until I was as fully convinced of the fact that Jesus Christ is the expected Messiah, as I wa,s of my own existence : and never have I doubted it since that time. "Without the least hesitation I then proceeded to write out my resignation, and sent it to the president of the con- gregation the next morning. But now tlie storm burst upon me in all its fury. IMy wife and children wanted to cc^lebrate the Passover as usual, while I, poor miserable sinner, was an unbeliever ! I had no objection to their doing so, but as for myself, I gave up everything that was Jewish. The ceremonies I felt no longer bind'ug upon me. I put away my pr;iver-l)ook, but sul)stituted nothing in its pla'^o. In fact, I bad no desire to pray at all. Of course T l)elieved now that Jesus was the true Messiah, " of whom Moses and the prophets did write/' 66 AUTOBIOC;RAPIiy OF ■ lint tbf\t vras n,ll. I know nothing,- about jiistificntion, or faith ill His iiuiiie. My heart was still as proud as Luciibr ; {iiid if any one had told me just then that I was a poor lost sinner, I should have felt inclined to send my slipper after him, or, perha})s, if 1 had been a woman, tried the virtue of a bi'ooro.stick. In this state I continued several weeks. The matter soon became noised abroad in sdl i)arts of the city. My principal Jewish friends forsook me. Others avoided me as if I had the plague, and most of them became my most bitter enemies. One even went so far as to come to our liouse and try to persuade Mrs. Freshman to leave me, and return to her father's house, promising if she would do so to provide all her expenses. "The Eabbi," said he, "is insane, and it is dangerous to live with him !" Others, again, siiid that I wished to become some great bishop among tlie Christians ; while others g.ive currency to a story, that I liad received ten thousand dollars for renouncing my faith in Judaism. These and similar stories were propagated everywhere, which had not even hay and stubble for their foundation, but still found many among our people who believed them. ^During all this disquiet and commotion, I was trying with all my power to convince my wife and elder children (espe- cially my son Jacob, who is now a minister of the Gospel), that Jesus was indeed the true Messiah, and that we should no more have to look for his coming, until we saw him coming the second time, " without sin unto salvation." My son Jacob, Avho was a very intelligent l)oy for his age, readily appreciated my reasoning, and felt the force of my argu- ments, but would turn with instinctive confidence to his mother, in whose judgment he always placed (and does to IIEV. CHAHLES FRESHMAN. 67 this flay) tlio most implicit reliance ; and early projiulices in her were not easily eradicated. I do not wonder that I was so slow in convincing them, for I noAv see that I was still in bondage myself. I could now read the English Bible almost as Avell as the Hebrew or German ; but though I read it in one language or other almost incessantly, still I did not get a clear con- ception of my condition as a sinner in the sight of God, nor of the necessity of a chancre of heart. I thouijht, — " If I belieye that Jesus Christ is the true Messiah, that is all that is necessary to constitute me a good Christian ;" and yet, although firmly persuaded of the truth of that, I still was not satisfied. I felt my need of something else ; I coidd scarcely tell, or eyen imagine, what that something was. I had not yet bes:un to see "men even as trees Avalking." But the Lord Avould not long leave me to grope at noon- day as in the night. He sent me light out of darkness, in his own good time. A Mr. Clapham, a worthy member of the Wesleyan Metliodist Church, who lived but a short dis- tance from us, having heard of my condition, came to see me, accompanied Ijy the Hev. James Elliott, who was at that time stationed in Quebec, in charge of the "W(\sleyan Church in that place. He was the first Christian minister who ever visited our house, and I may say, brought salva- tion into it at the same time ; for it was from his lips I first heard the proclamation of the gospel of peace. I must con- fess that I received him coolly, and felt in no humour to converse with him. After a partially unsuccessful attempt on his part to engage in conversation with me, he turned to my family, and spoke so kindly to them, exhibiting so much the spirit of his Master, that 1 commenced to like him im- mediately. Before he left us, he en^^aged in prayer, I all 68 AUTOBIOOKAPIIY OF \ 1, I: i iv \ the while sitting in my chair and looking on, half {iniiiscd at the whole i)orfoi'niance. I thoiiglit his prnyer a very Ktrangc one. He prayed that God would enlighten inydark mind, sliov/ nio my position as a sinnei' in His sight ; that He would trouble and then wash my troubled heart in the atoning blood. I thought to myself, " I guess I have trouble enough, without you praying for any more ; and, as for being a sinner, I am as good as you are, a.ul perhaps a little bettor. Then, about my dark mind, I wonder whetlu^r you know that I was educated in Prague ?" Still he continued to pra}^ — unconscious of the thoughts passijig through my mind. As he laid hold upon the promises of God, and pleaded them with such fervency and earnestness, I could not help receiving the impression that he had access to God, and a power Avith Him Avhich I did not possess. After his prayer I liked him all the better, and went the very next Sabbath to hear him preach. I cannot well describe my sensations on finding myself for the first time amongst a Christian congregation, engaged in the solemn act of worshipping God. I thought every eye was riveted upon me from the beginning of the service until its close ; and every word from the pulpit seemed to have some reference, immediate or remote, to my special case, and intended for my special benefit. Not caring to be looked at, and talked at, for such a length of time, I was very glad when the service was brought to a close, and I found myself outside the church again. But I had received a favorable impi"ossion of the Christian mode of worship, and began already to see faint glimmerings in outline of that wonderful scheme of redemption, by wdiicli God can be just, and yet the justifier of him that believeth in Jesus. REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 69 ice to ial be I\v:lS (II vod lip, }liat list, I walked home with Mr. Clapliam, who asked me, among other things, whether I wonkl have any objection to accom- pany him to a chiss-meetiiig on the following Wednesday evening. I rei)lied, " Not iu the least." He accordingly called for me on the evening appointed, and we went in company. As I had never been at such a meeting before, everything appeared curious and strange. I looked with wonder and ast'onishmcnt upon men and women who would stand up, and, with tears in their eyes, confess tiieir sins an'•. ^x ^^\ #^V<^ «? ^ ■^' '«i) fe L<5> <^ I. 74 AUTOBfoGRAPIIY OF Wesleyan Methodiat Church, and to Mr. Elliott as its minister, which none of the other churches or their min- isters had been capable of producing. Tlius passed away the days of the week, visiting and being visited. My soul was athirst for information on those points in which my education had been defective. So, on Sabbath morning, I again repaired to Mr. Elliott's church, and heard him preach. The novelty which filled my mind, when present at the first service, had now partially worn away. I no longer felt that all were gazing upon me, and hence had better opportunity to attend to the discourse, to which I lis- tened very attentively. Often during the discourse, I thought many of his remarks were intended for myself; but he preached with power, and with the unction of the Holy Ghost. As he unfolded the gracious scheme of re- demption to his hearers, he would at times seem much affected ; and several times I noticed the moisture gather- ing in his eyes, wliile many in the congregation were shed- ding tears. The Spirit of God commenced to operate on my own heart, and I must confess that I often wept myself, although I could hardly tell for what. After service I returned home, more serious and thoughtful than ever, but still unable to grasp the " modus operandi" of the simple doctrine, — " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved." In the afternoon a friend called at my house to take me with him to a Union Sabbath School. It was that famous school kept by the late Jeffrey Hale, Esq., a woi-thy mem- ber of the Church of England. While there, I could not help being struck with the neatness and decorum which everywhere prevailed. The good conduct and attention of the children, as well as the disinterestedness and devotion i REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 75 I of the teachers, could not help making a favourable im- pression on my mind, especially when I found that all the instruction imparted there had a tendency to make them "wise unto salvation." Surely, thought I, in the days of my youth had I been privileged to attend such a place, I would not now feel such a difficulty in apprehending the way of faith, as taught in the New Testament, and believed in by the Christians ! I felt, indeed, much surprised that a respect- able and very wealthy citizen of Quebec should humble him- self so much, as to kneel down and pray with the childiv^:*^ and take so much pains to point them to the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sins of the world. But when, at the close of the school, I heard them unite in singing some beautiful hymns, especially that one, — " I love Jesus," &c., my heart was much moved, and I thought how gladly would I exchange places with one of these little ones, if I had my life to live over again ; if by that means I could ever get to sing with as much confidence as these seem to manifest, — " I love Jesus." I determined, when I should return home, to tell my children what I had seen, and if possible influ- ence them to go the next Sabbath. But I was saved this trouble, for the very next day the Superintendent of the Sabbath -school called at our place, and all my children liked liim immediately so much, that, to my great joy, they readily promised him to go the next Sabbath to his school. About this time the City Missionary, employed by the various religious denominations of Quebec, called to see me. I asked him if there were any German Christians in the city. " Yes," said he, " we have some, but they are not converted." "What do you mean by converted?" said T. (For at that time I did not know how a man could be a Christian, and not be converted.) He at once explained 76 AUTODIOGRAPHY OF the apparent anomaly, and left with mo a few tracts in the German language, which he said would fully explain the nature of conversion, and the means of its attainment. I was very much pleased with his conversation, and very glad to receive his tracts ; but when, a short time after, he took his leave without praying \vith me, my good opinion of him sunk several degi'ees below zero, and I was even inclined to call him back, but did not. Mr. Elliott came in shortly after, with a pious lady in company, who both prayed with us before leaving. After they had departed, and I was again alone, I com- menced to read the German tracts, in which I became very much interested, and which did me a great deal of good. Still, after all the light I couM obtain from sermons and tracts, my mind continued very dull to apprehend that great " mystery of godliness," — " God manifest in the flesh." So I again took my formerly-despised Bible, and read the Hew Testament, with such a burning desire thoroughly to explore its mysteries and understand its truths, that I even refused to take my meals. The epistle to the Hebrews was esi)ecially difficult. Wlien I came to the ninth and tenth chapters, I covUd not proceed any farther, as I could not follow the apostle's reasoning, nor feel the force of his ar- guments. Accordingly I went to Mr. Elliott, my never- failing resort in times of perplexity, and he assisted me very much in clearing up the intricate points. He also gave me a commentary to assist me in the further exj)lana- tion of this and other difficult pprtions of Scripture, which I had met or might meet with. The great difficulty which now arrested my attention and occupied my mind, was in regard to the atonement. The Jews believe that on the day of atonement God par- REV CHARLES FRESHMAM. n t doned the sins of Israel, when the High Priest, entering into the holy place with the blood of sprinkling, atoned, fii-st for his own sins, and then for those of the people. Now, I thought, we have neither temple nor saciifiees, and how then are the sins of a Jew atoned for in the present day 1 Here the enemy would come in and whisper, — " You are no sinner, you have nothing to atone for ; only adhere to the faith of your fathers, and you are sure of the crown at the last." But when I would turn to the fifty-first Psalm, I would feel, and my conscience would tell me, that I was no better than David, who had written the psalm, and he evidently felt himself, at that time at least, to have been a great sinner. His penitential expressions in the psalm referred to gave evidence of a mind scarcely less disturbed than was my own ; and much bitterness of soul was my portion when I would reflect upon my position. To such an extent did these feelings prevail at times, that when under their influence I would sometimes feel akin to regret that ever I renounced my old faith, as then I had no mental disquietude or trouble about my sins. Now I had nothing but trouble. Not only trouble on account of my sins, but trouble also in reference to my temporal circum- stances, and the means of supporting my family. While in one of these unpleasant moods, my wife came into my study one day, and said to me, " My dear, what are we going to do now ? The baker has just been here, and said he could not let us have any more bread until that which we have already received is settled for. We have not a loaf in the house, and the children had to go to school this morning with only a very slight breakfast. What will become of us ? We have not a cent in the house ; all our former friends have forsaken us j rent will soon again be due, tfT 78 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP and nothing to pay it with." This was said all in a breath, and tho whole concluded with a woman's most forcible argu- ment — tears. Certainly, affairs looked desperate enough ; but instead of increasing my despondency, it only increased my trust in God. I now felt it to be my duty to encoumge and comfort her, and said to her, " Never mind, my dear, God will provide for us." Perhaps this was my first distinct act of faith in God, and I was not disappointed. Hardly had an hour elapsed when Mr. Elliott came in to visit us, and left vnth me ten dollars, without even enquiring whether we needed it or not. " Surely," thought I, " he must know something about our affairs, and God has sent him to succour us." This tended greatly to increase my confidence in God ; and taking the money in triumph to my wife, " See," said I, "did I not tell you the Lord would provide?" She, how- ever, was more matter-of-fact than I, just at that time ; and instead of entering heartily into my views of the providence of God, again began her forebodings for the future. " How," said she, " will you support your family when that is gone 1 And even this is but a pittance, doled out to us by the hand of charity, and rather would I die than live on charity." But although she was thus careful and anxious about many things, I had already begun to choose that good part, which, I feel thankful to God, has never since been taken from me. Since that time I have more fully been enabled to prove that our God is not only a God of grace, but a God of providence also ; and as I look back upon all the way in which he has led me, it is with feelings of the most unfeigned thankfulness for the past, and implicit confidence for tho future. My salary from the Jewish congregation was of course discontinued from the time I ceased to officiate as their Rabbi, now more than two months ago. Although the sup- BEV. CHARLES PRESHMAK. 79 port which I had received from the synagogue was liberal (niy salary, together with presents and other perquisites, amounting to much miore than a Methodist preacher usually receives), still, at the time of my renouncing Judaism, I had not three dollars in the house, and my debts amounted to about thirty dollars. Hence the straitened circumstances detailed above. But this was not the worst. Other trials yet awaited me. The Jews, as already mentioned, as a natural consequence, became my most bitter enemies, and would do everything in their power to injure me. I had never taught them, when their Rabbi, to love their enemies, nor to return good for evil, nor any of those beautiful pre- cepts of our Saviour ; and now I must take the consequences. The house in which we lived belonged to a Jew, and, with a view to distress my family, we were peremptorily ordered to leave the premises immediately. It required the most un- bounded confidence in God to endure these trials, so fre- quently repeated. And often (after all my confidence), as a picture of my children, forsaken and destitute, would loom up before me, would I find myself exclaiming, " How long, O Lord, how long ! " Still, though persecuted, I was not forsaken ; though cast down, I was not destroyed. I now commenced to attend churches of difierent denomi- nations, and although I found good, pious. Christian people in all of them, I did not feel so much at home in any as in that of the "Wesleyan Methodists, I experienced the utmost kindness from the ministers of these various churches, yet none of them obtained such a hold upon my afiections as Mr. Elliott. He it was to whom I could go in confidence, and lay open my heart in liis presence. He it was who was always the friend in need, and has always since proved, the friend indeed. Ho it was whose ministrations I most .^ 80 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OV froquoiitly listened to ; and lio it was whoso ministrations and counsels were made, under God, tlio means of my saving conversion to a knowledge of the trutli as it is in Jesus. One distinguishing feature in his preaching had struck me, in contrast with that of others, to wliom I had listened. In some of the churches which I had attended* the ministers would have a great deal to say about the scrip- tural mode of baptism, and tlie necessity of immersion. Others attached a grciit deal of importiince to the apostolic succession of their ministry, and the regeneration of infants in baptism. Still others woidd enforce a rigid morality, but say very little about conversion. Some, again, would preach the necessity of conversion, but would so mix it up with divine decrees as apparently to nullify the foi*ce of their argument. Mr. Elliott, on the contrary, was eminently practical. 1 do not remember ever to have heartl him say a word from the pulpit about the mode of baptism, apostolic succession, infant vegeneiution, or the divine decrees. His great theme was, " Ye must be born again," " Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish," So constantly did he keep these truths before my mind while attending his Sabbath services, and also in private conversation, that I resolved at hist, if there was any truth at all in conversion, that, by the help of God, I would seek to know it. From that time I commenced to seek the Lord with all my heart. On the same day on which I made this resolve, I was visited by a very pious lady, a ^Mrs. McLeod, who, before she left us, prayed very earnestly for the conversion of my wife. "Ah !" thought I, " if she only knew that I am still unconverted, surely she would pray for me also.'' However, I prayed as well as I could for myself, and was always much comforted after the visit of a pious Christian friend, be it REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 81 lady or gentleman. After she had gone, I noticed she had loft a favourable impression on Mrs. Freshman, for she came to me and said : " 1 do believe that is a good woman, and I wish she would often come and see us." The Spirit of God was evidently beginning to work upon her mind also, and planting those seeds which afterwards developed into such an abundant harvest. We were frequently visited also by a Miss Clapham, also a very pious young lady, who would talk to us, and pray with us, and for us, and whose visits were made a blessing to our whole family. I hope their example may serve to stimulate many others to the exercise of such works of faith and labours of love ; and in the day of final rewards, these devoted Christian ladies may shine as the brightness of the firmament. Before this, i had sometimes been called upon to pray when attending the prayer-meeting, which I lately had made a practice of doing regularly. I had, however, always declined, when called upon, for the simple reason that I could not do it. But this evening, as I went to the prayer- meeting, I resolved to pray in public, even if I should not be called upon to do so. So great had my anxiety become to experience the forgiveness of my sins, that I thought, *' If taking up my cross in public will assist me in procuring deliverance from this bondage, I will willingly do it, or any- thing else, so that I may be free." When I arrived in the lecture-room where the prayer-meeting was held, I found no one present but the sexton. I waited anxiously until the congregat' n. assembled, thinking all the time about my duty to pray in public. Mr. Elliott came in, and as he shook hands with me, I tried to muster courage enough to ask him to give me an opportunity to pray ; but I could not do it. He opened with singing and prayer, and the meeting was 4* 63 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP continued as usual ; but I did not engage in prayer. "When it broke up, I felt condemned, and went home weeping. When I got home, I found all toy family had retired, ex- cept my wife, whom I again found to be in trouble — but a trouble different from that which was distracting me. She met me with upbraidings. " What is the use," said she, *' of your going to these meetings, night after night, and leaving your family to starve? Things have come to a pretty pass, when we have all got to be turned out of the house into the street to-morrow," and much more of the same im- port, all the while weeping bitterly. I could not answer her a word. This, which I would have considered a great calamity at any other time, was now sunk into the shade by comparison with the greater sorrow which sat nearest my heart. I feared not those who could kill the body, or turn it houseless into the street ; all my trouble was in reference to Him who has power to cast both soul and body into hell. Filled with these thoughts, I went straight to my room, determined that this should be the last night. I felt that things had reached a crisis, and I was resolved, if 1 had to pray all night, I would not leave the throne of grace until deliverance came. I felt all the time persuaded that if God would only convert my soul, all would be well. I spent the whole cf the night in crying to God in deep, earnest prayer, but the more I cried and prayed the more I felt the burden of my sins press grievously upon me. I saw myself more clearly as a lost sinner, unworthy of anything but con- demnation and eternal banishment from the presence of God and the glory of his power. Oh ! such a night of agony ! I have thought since then, " If the torments of the finally unsaved are to equal in intensity the misery of that night, and be protracted throughout eternity, how diligent I ought REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 83 to be, and how earnest in my endeavours, to save them from such a horrible fate." Truly, it was the hour and the power of darkness. All my pharisaical props and self-righteous supports were taken from under me. My sins came looming up before me, and piled themselves mountains high. The whole of the individual sins of my past life seemed to flash before my mind, and concentrate themselves in a single instant ; and that instant was protracted through the greater part of the night. So imminent did the danger appear, of having condign punishment immediately visited upon me, that in agony of soul I cried out in very self despair, "Lord, save me or I perish;" "Jesus, have mercy upon me, or I am eternally lost." I saw there was no other hope, and I realized the sufficiency of that one ; and at that moment "the clouds dispersed," the shadows fled, the Invisible appeared in sight, and rolled away the burden from my troubled soul. Prayer now gave place to praise, and I could select no language suitable in which to convey the raptures of my new-born soul, save " Glory to the Lamb !" " Glory to the Lamb ! " I can no more doubt the reality of the change that was then wrought in me, than I can doubt the fact that previously I was a poor condemned sinner in the sight of God. Why, even the face of nature seemed to have undergone a transformation. As I paced my room, singing and shouting the praises of God, and as I looked out of my window upon the moon wending her pathway through the heavens, among those myriad troops of stars which every- where spangled the firmament above, I could not but thank God for my very existence ; and never before had I been so sensible of His goodness in placing me in such a beautiful world, surrounded by so many delightful and lovely objects. Even as my pen traces these sensations, I feel like e:^claim- 84 AUTOBIOORAPHY OF H ing, " What would I not give if I could only have, at leawt once a week, such a foretaste of heaven upon earth as it \va» then my privilege to exi)erience." But never since then* except on one occasion, and that was when I heard my son Jacob preaching the gospel for the first time, have I experi- enced anything like the same intensity of joy, although I have had m y, very many, sweet seasons of spiritual re- freshing coming from the presence of the Lortl. " Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless and praise His holy name ! " Thus I spent the remainder of the night in blessing and praising God for his goodness, and when morning came I could not keep my happiness all to myself. I first thought how happy the good news, that I had found the Saviour, would make Brother Elliott, so I bent my steps in the direc- tion of his residence. Every one whom I met on my way, I told of the great things which the Lord had done for my soul. Many seemed to think I was beside myself, and per- haps I did not act entirely according to the most established and approved conventional usages of society ; but my heart was full of love, and it seemed to me that — *' If all the world my Saviour knew^ All the world would love him too." So on I went, practically complying with that injunction, — " As ye go, preach." Brother Elliott was delighted to hear the good news which I had to tell him ; but I did not give him much of an opportunity for remarks. My tongue was let loose, and I did almost all the talking. This was on a Friday morning, and 1 asked Brother Elliott to give me an opportunity to preach on the following Sabbath. It seemed as though I must preach ; and if I had been standing on a BEV. CHARLES FRESHHAN. 85 mountain top, with tho whole worhl gathered at my feet, I would have rejoiced in the opiwi-tunity to publish to them all what the Lord had done for me, and exhort them to a like precious faith in Christ. Brother Elliott readily granted my request ; and on tho following Sabbath 1 preached in three different churches, telling everywhere what God had done for me, and publishing the great truth that Christ has power uixjn eai'th to forgive sins. It was real preaching, too. If I ever preached an original sermon it was on that eventful Sabbath. I believe I said little else but " Come all ye that fear God, and I will shew you what he hath done for my soul." Whether my congrega- tions were affected or not, I myself was deeply moved, and from tliis time my desire continued to increase to become a preacher of the everlasting gospel which had done so much for me. 1 commenced with my own family. My wife, although very slow of heart to believe all that the prophets had written concerning the Messiah, still was no more opposed to Christianity, and even consented to accompany me to church. My son Jacob, who was brought up a pious lad, now loved to attend the Sabbath-school, and read the New Testament. My other children had also imbibed some of the principles of Christianity in the Sabbath-school ; so that when I commenced, after my own conversion, to preach Christ to them, I found the ground in a manner prepared for me. My own life and conversation also disposed them to hear the word with gladness, for they saw there was a great change for the better in myself as compared with former times, so that I had no longer to meet with opposi- tion from my family, but, on the contrary, had the liappi- 86 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP l! I 'I ness to witness them gradually, one by one, falling in with the doctrines of the cross, as revealed from God, and taught in the New Testament. The next Sabbath the city missionary came to inform me that a ship had just arrived from the old country, with German emigrants on boai'd, and requested me to go and preach to them in their own language. This I willingly consented to do, being very glad to get such an opportunity. I never had heard the gospel preached in the German language, and hence perhaps it is natural that I felt a little strange while on my way to the ship, and thinking in what manner I should best express myself. The missionary had provided me with a prayer-book of the Church of Englsmd in the German language. This I made use of for a short time in the commencement of the service. After a moment or two praying from the book, I laid it aside, and com- menced to pray out of the fullness of my heart. I suppose it was a very original prayer, for after the service, the captain called me aside, and said to me, — " That was a terrible prayer ; to which church do you belong, sir." I told him, — " I do not know yet ; I am a Christian." Here my old German Bible, which I have had occasion to men- tion before, came in very useful. It was it which I took with me to preach from, and, strange as it may appear, the lesson which I felt impelled to read to them, and make the basis of my remarks, was one of those very loose leaves which had been so violently torn from its place in the man- ner which I have before described. After service was over, the captain called me into his cabin, thanked me for the sermon, and offered me a glass of wiL«!, which, however, I respectfully declined, — and here REV. CiIARLES i'iiESHMAN. 87 I may be allowed to mention chat long before I became a Cliristian, I and my family became strict adherents to those prmciples usually advocated by those who axe called, for whatever reason, "Teetotalers." Thus was the Lord leading me in a way that I knew not and opemng up my way into that which afterwards became my providential path. CHAPTER VII. Baptism — Diflficulties in Regard to — Arguments for Sprinkling — My Family also Renounce Judaism — Interview with a Roman Catho- lic Bishop — Rumours in Consequence of — We are Baptized — Details Regarding the Ceremony — Gradually Renounce Jewish Observances — First Taste of Pork — My First Prepared Sermon — Objections for Inserting it Anticipated and Answered. Now that I had not only espoused Christ myself, but had begun to preach him to others, the subject of baptism began greatly to occupy my mind. It seemed, howe\ as if every individual step of my progress was attended with difficulties of one kind or other, and this was to be no exception. The principal difficulties in the way of my being baptized were — 1st, I had not yet decided on what mode of baptisin I should undergo. Immersion was always associated in my mind with such a chilling, cheerless sensation, that I mentally resolved to lay it on the shelf, until I had fairly examined the scriptural doctrines in favour of other modes, adopted by other sections of the Christian church. My second obstacle was in regard to my family. I was desirous, when- ever I was baptized, that my whole family should be pre- pared to receive the ordinance at the same time as myself. As regarded my younger children, of course there was no difficulty, as they were proper subjects already. But then there was my wife and my elder children, whom I would not attempt to coerce or control as far as their religious REV. CHARLES FRESHMAIT. 89 views were concerned. It is true, I reasoned with them, and laboured all in my power to convince them of the truth of Christianity. But to command them to renounce Judaism and prepare for Cluistian baptism in obedience to my will, was a thing I would never attempt to do, even if they had not been baptized to this day. But while I was still undecided as to the mode, I could not make any definite calculations as to the time. Hence, I commenced in good earnest to study the law and the testimony on this seemingly important subject. I never, however, fell into the eiTor of considering bajitism a rite essential to salvation, because I knew it was perfectly distinct i'rom convei*sion. I knew I had been con- verted myself, and felt pei-suadcd I would go to heaven if I died, whether baptized or not. Still, as a rite, I looked upon it as a very important means of grace ; and as a duty I esteemed it one which I could not avoid and remain guilt- I found on reading the New Testament that while John tiio Baptist and our Saviour, as well as the apostles, say a great deal on baptism, not one of them distinctly inculcates an;- particular mode. It is true I found passages where it speaks of those who were baptized going down into the water and coming up out of the water, but I had enough knowledge of the Greek language to know that the prepo- sitions us and ex, rendered "into" and "out of," are often translated "to" and "from." Besides, in that very accoimt of the Eimuch's baptism by Philip, where these expressions occur, the very idea of baptism must have been suggested by a passage out of the chapter in Isaiah which he had just then been reading, where it is said, referring to Christ, "So shall he spi'iaJde many nations." I found also vju'ious pass- ages in whiuli the word " sprinkle " is distinctly mentioned. 90 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF as Ezeklel xxxvi. 25 : " Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you and ye shall bo clean ; from all your filtliiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you." Various passages also spoke of the " blood of sprinkling ;" but nowhere in the whole Bible or Testament could I find the word "immer- sion." One consideration alone, in addition to the absence of an express scriptural command, deterred me from adopt- ing this latter mode ; that was, my children would not be permitted to enjoy its benefits as well as myself, and I felt it a duty incumbent upon me to bring my children as well as myself under the provisions of the " new covenant," and thus consecrate them to God. So, after carefully studying the claims of the various modes, and comparing them with the practice under the old dispensation, and seeking divine aid and wisdom, I at last came to the conclusion that as soon as my wife and my eldest son would believe in the Messiahship of Christ, we should all be baptized publicly in the Wesleyan Methodist Church. In coming to this decision I received no influence from others, but acted per- fectly free and unbiassed, according to my own judgment and convictions. Old prejudices, and the effects of early training, could not be dissipated as far as my family was concerned. Kind friends, however, belonging to different religious denomina- tions, used frequently to visit us and converse with my family. With their assistance, I succeeded in about a month in destroying the last barrier which prevented my family from falling in with my views, and obtamed from them a confession that it was theii* duty to renounce Juda- ism. Here I do not wish it to be understood that they were already converted, but simply convinced that the faith of their forefathers, in not believing in Christ, was erroneous. REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 91 Toneoiis. However, they were sincerely desirous of becoming acquainted witli the way of saving faith in Christ. I shall ever have to acknowledge my indebtedness to the Sabbath-school for bring- ing about this result. My children still attended it regularly, and would often make the instructions which they had there received the subject of conversation at home, by wliich means, as also by means of the books which they brought home with them, Mrs. Freshman was gradually made ac- quainted with the fundamental doctrines of Christianity. She received a great deal of information and instruction also from the conversation of Miss Clapham, Mrs. McLeod, Mrs. Middleton, and other pious ladies, to all of whom she would acknowledge her everlasting obligations. But above all, it was the change which she observed in me, and the influence of the prayer-meetings, which she had begun to relish, that convinced her of the truth of Christianity, and brought her to the point at which she yielded a willing assent to be bap- tized with her husband and family. Just at this time I had another great attack from the enemy of my soul. I suppose he saw he was now about to lose me, if he did not make a vigorous effort to turn the course which affairs were apparently about to take. 1 was in very straitened pecuniary circumstances, and would often revolve in my mind how I was going to support my family. As I was walking out one day, thinking over this subject, I met a Roman Catholic priest, who acted as secretary to the bishop of the same denomination. I had heard some time before of a vacancy in the Lavelle College (a Roman Catho- lic Institution), for which they required a tutor of Oriental languages. I thought at once, this would suit me very well, never thinking that any objection would be made in respect of creed or religious persuasion, nor any other credentials 93 AUTOBIOORAPIIT OP I required than those of proper qualification for the situation. I mentioned the subject to the priest whom I met, and with whom I was slightly acquainted. He informed me that the situation was still vacant, and htid no doubt I would receive the appointment. I went at once to see the bishop, who received mo very cordially, as did also a number of priests by whom he was surrounded. Almost the first question put to me by these worthy suc- cessors of the apostles was, whether I had yet connected myself with any religious denomination. I replied in the negative ; and added that as yet I had seen no motive in particular urging me to join one sect more than another. "Well, but in order to be a Christian at all," said the bishop, " you must be baptized." I replied that I had already con- sidered that subject, and had determined that my family and myself should be baptized in the Wesleyan Methodist Church. This, I could see at once, did not contribute to raise me much iii the estimation of the good bishop and his worthy satellites. In fact it was a point of such weighty importance that they could not decide about granting my request, but told me they would see about it. I suppose they retire'^ to consult the fathers, or the saints in their calendar, whether it was lawful, or whether such a thing had ever occurred as the appointment of a Wesleyan Methodist to an office in a Roman Catholic Institution ! Whether they ever got any light on such a perplexing sub- ject or not, I am unable to affirm. But if ever they did " see about it," they never gave me the benefit of their improved perceptive faculties. Quick as lightning the rumour spread throughout the city that the converted Jewish Rabbi was about to become a Roman Catholic. Some of my friends came to see me REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 93 about it, but their anxictios were soon dispelled, when I told them the exact thing as it stood ; but I could not go around correcting false reports to the extent to which they prevailed, and as the progress of truth is but slow, compared with that of error, the report continued to spread, and to gain credence as it progressed. The Jews especially took a great deal of pains to make a noise about it, and tried their utmost to. make people really believe that I intended to become a priest. The whole thing was amusing in the extreme to myself; for there was Mrs. Freshman, the dearest little woman in the world, whom I would not have given up for a seat on the throne of St. Peter himself, or an elevation to the topmost place in the calendar of their ca- nonized saints, much less for a paltry office, where my highest duties would have beeii to try and beat the contents of a Hebrew gi-ammar and lexicon into the heads of boys and young men. But this silly rumour had its result, independent of the amusement it afforded, and tliat result was to hasten my baptism. I thought my best course, in order to stop all such annoyances, would be to be baptized at once. With- out more ado, I apprized the difierent Protestant clergymen of Quebec of my intention (having first secured the full consent of my wife and children) ; appointed a day on which I invited them to be present and take part in*the service ; and on Sabbath afternoon, the 2nd of September, 1859, myself, my wife, and seven children, were baptized in the Wesleyan Methodist Church in Quebec. The ministers who were present on the occasion were the following, viz. : Rev. J. Elliott, pastor of the church ; Rev. Dr. Cook, of St. Andrew's Church ; Rev. Mr. Clark, of the Presbyterian ; and Rev. Mr. Puller, of the Congregational Church. Dr. 94 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF Cook preached a sermon suitable for tlie occasion. Mr. Clark, who was the senior minister, was appointetl to baptize myself and my good wife. Mr. Elliott baptized my family, and Mr. Puller assisted in the devotional exercises.''* 1 must not here forget to make kind mention of the Rev. Dr. Helmuth, who had promised to be present, but was prevented by unforseen circumstances from giving us the pleasure of his company and assistance. He. had on several occasions visited us and prayed with us, and proved, by various acts of kindness to myself and family, that he was a worthy and devoted labourer in the vineyard of his Master. A friend in need to me, and a beloved brother in Christ Jesus — " An Israelite indeed." He has ever remained my firm friend, and continues so to this day. During the ser- 11! * A more detailed account is given in the following extract from the Gazette : — Admission of a Jewish Family into the Christian Church. — In accordance with forenoon notification from the pulpits of the various Protestant churches of Quebec, an immense number of persons attended at the Methodist Church yesterday afternoon, for the purpose of witnessing the administration of the sacred rite of baptism to Mr. Freshman, late Rabbi of the Jewish Synagogue here, and his v/ife and family. The service was opened by the Rev. Dr. Cook, who preached a most impressive sermon, admirably adapted to the occasion. The Rev. Mr. Clark then gave a short and feeling address, and afterwards proceeded to administer the sacred rite. Mr. Freshman and his lady stood forwanl, and amid the most wrapt attention and profound silence, the sacred and im- pressive ceremony was performed, and "in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost," that Hebrew man and woman were received into the communion, not of any particular sect, but of the true Christian church. As we remarked, the attention of the auJience seemed strained to its utmost intensity during the performance of I REV. CHARLKS FRESHMAN. 95 vice the church was crowded to its utmost capacity. Even Home of my Jewish congregation were present, attracted, no doubt, by a feeling of curiosity. A feeling of solemn awe seemed to pervade the vast assemblage, except some of the Jews aforesaid. If ever I pitied their ignorance, and felt to pray for light to shine into their dark minds, it was when I heard of some remarks they made while Mrs. Fresh- man was being baptized ; and also when they saw me car- rying my youngest child in my arms to receive the sacred rite. These remarks are not proper to be inserted ; but they gave free expression to the opinion that now we were lost indeed, and could never be fit for anything but the bottomless pit to all eternity. Thus was this solemn ser- vice brought to a conclusion. It had been looked forward to with great anxiety. It was undergone with timidity, and the ceremony : but, if possible, it was stUl more keen when the children of Mr. Freshman's family — seven in number, from the lad of fifteen or sixteen years of age, down in regular gradation to the infant in arms — were ranged np, and also admitted into the bosom of God's Church. The Rev. Mr. Elliott then offered a most fervent and impressive prayer, and the impeded utterance which at times marked his supplication, proved how deeply the solemn ceremony had impressed itself on the mind of the reverend gentleman. A short and effective address was then delivered by a reverend gen- tleman whose name we did not catch, but who attended on behalf of Mr. Powiis, of the Congregational Church ; and the doxology being sung, the congregation broke up, evidently much impressed by the solemn scene they had witnessed. The meeting also in another respect was a most important one ; inasmuch as it pre- sented the spectacle of all our Protestant clergymen ignoring dis- tinctions of name or sect, and joining together in the true spirit of Christianity to celebrate the admission of this Jewish family into the Christian church. — Quebec Gazette. II 9« AUTODIOORAPIIY OP concluilo.1 with a focliii<5 of almost painful .solemnity resting upon mo. I was now fully tlio Lord's. I had promised to renounco the dovil and all his works, the pomps and vani- ties of tho world, and had taken the most solemn vows upon me. According to the testimony of my children, they were also pervaded with a similar feeling ; and some reminis- cences of their thoughts at that time are now amusing in the extreme, 9S they betray an egregiously erroneous esti- mate of the nature of the ordinance to which they had just been subjected. From this time our Jewish customs and forms of worship, which had been partially abolished already, were entirely abandoned. This proved a greater hardship at first than my family had any idea it would be. Another form of worship now claimed our observance ; another system of educating tho children. All our old traditions to unlearn ; new truths to study day by day. All meats were to be considered as clean and good for food, and this was perhaps the hardest requirement of all. A Jew would consider it a great sin to eat even the best of meat, such as is purchased in the market, prepared by a Christian butcher. When we first began to use this meat, some of my children, especially one of my daughters, would not touch it, and could not be prevailed on to do so for quite a length of time. They would rather live on vegetables than taste the most savoury dish of the " unclean thing," as they were pleased to term it. Even "sawer kraut" has not had a greater number of hard things said against it by the English, than good butchers' meat had to endure from my family. Again, to give up the old Jewish Sabbath-day (Saturday), was another difficulty. They had no objection to observe the Christian Sabbath after our own, and perhaps no one REV. cnARLES FRESUMAN. 97 resting liaod to d vaiii- ■^s upon )y were eminis- ising in us esti- lad just worship, entirely 'st than form of stem of inlearn ; e to be perhaps Aev it a irchased Hien we ipecially not be They savoury term it. of hard lutchers* turday), observe no one sj over was any the worse for observing two Sabbath-days ia the week ; but when it came to renouncing one of them entirely, my family, especially for the first few weeks, did not know what to do with themselves. To engage in our usual employments would have apj^eared like sacrilege, or at least wilful desecration. Even to prepare our food on that day was a thing not to be thought of. We used to sit all together, looking at one another, and listening to the ticking of the clock, which admonished us of the passing away of time ; and the bustle and noise in the streets out- side, indicating it to be the busiest day in the week among the large bulk of the population by which we were sur- rounded. Finally, I made a commencement, and broke the ice by desecrating that day, which, after all, we were not keeping holy, no matter how secluded we might remain. My family gradually followed my example, and in a short time no one would ever have known by our practices or mode of life that we had ever been anything but Gentile Christians. The New Testament became the book of books in my family ; and the instructions imparted in the Sabbath- school were taking root downward and bringing forth fruit upA irds ; and, after a time, I had the pleasure of seeing my wife cind elder children bearing their testimony for Jesus. One single exception in the use of Christian food still characterized us for a length of time ; and that was the use oi pork. I shall never forget my sensations on partaking of the obnoxious food for the first time. It was after I commenced to travel as a preacher that a good brother in the ministry, who was then in Port Hope, and at whose house I was stopping over night, wishing, I suppose, to have the credit of being the first to introduce to me that dish which my forefathers had held in abomination, took advan- 5 98 AUTODIOGUAPIIY OF tagR of my i^oronco, and introduced it u]>on tho l)roakfjiHt- tablo. I noticed tho moat, iiicoly fried, with cggH in abun- dance iijwn the table, and was helped to it in a liberal manner. I thoiiglit, while eating it, I noticed a peculiar flavour ; still I asked no questions, for conscience sake, and did ample justice to it and the rest of the good things whicir Bro. Warner had i)rovided. After breakfast we had family worship, and we then went up to tho library, when my kind host playfully asked me, with a bright twinkle in his eye, if I know what kind of meat it was I had had for breakfast. I never suspected anything amiss, and replied that I did not know. " Why," said he, " that was pork !" "Pork!" said I, " im}X)ssible ; you are joking with me!" " You may take it as a joke, if you please," sj'id he, " but it was verily and truly pork, nevertheless." " I wished to break the ice," said he, " and give you a taste of that which no Englishman, nor any other man who knows what is good for him would despise — ham and eggs." Just then I began to feel a very queer sensation in my gastronomic regions — the SOD cation which is characteristically described by Young iAmerica as " all overisli ;" but what had got safely down remained in its place notwithstanding ; yet, during the remainder of the day, everything I saw reminded me of poik — everything I tasted, tasted like pork ; even the good brother, whom I still esteem and love, seemed to be more "porkish" than ever he had appeared before. But, as he said, the ice was broken ; and soon after I returned home from this visit to Upper Canada, pork, with all its con- comitants, was introduced into our house. If Bro. Warner will now come to see me, I can repay him in his own coin, and will be very happy to do so, and that with compound interest. May his shadow never grow less ! REV. CUARL£S FRESHMAN. 99 On the Sabbath after our baptism I proaclicd my first prepared sermon in English. I have since Inul the privi- lege of preaching it in several places, and som? of our brethren may be curious to know what it was like. I take the liberty of inserting it in tliis place. I may say, how- ever, by way of explanation, that the first few times I preached it I had the manuscript before me, from which I did not once deviate in the slightest degree. The sermon here reported is a verbatim copy of thnt manuscript, which I would not alter in the sligh* 38t respect for a guinea. It is, I may also say, a dry sermon ; and those who go to sleep in church during the service, will find it to their advantage to turn over the leaves and skip the whole thing. Dry as it is, however, it cost me not a little efibrt to prepare it, and if I bestowed the same amount on every sermon I preach, I fear my poor congregation, who greedily devour from me two each Sabbath-day, would starve to death before I could satisfy their craving appetites. SERMON. Our text, dear friends, you will find in the 1st Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, the 1st chapter, and at the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th verses : — " Fee the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom, but we preach Christ cru- cified unto the Jews a stumbling-block, and unto the Greeks foolishness; but unto them which are called both Jews and Greeks, Christ, the power of God, and the wis- dom of God." God has always accompanied his revelations to man with strong evidence of their truth, and these evidences have 11 !i i . 1 1 1 *■•'>'*. 100 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP always been greater and more impressive according to the importance of the revelation. Thus the ceremonial law, which was a direct law from God, was given only on the testimony of Moses, accompanied with miraculous power. But when God revealed the moral Law, he said to Moses, — " I will come unto thee in the darkness of a cloud, that the people may hear me speaking to thee ; and although the people saw not the Lord, yet they saw the terror of His glory — thunder and lightning, and a thick cloud upon the mount, and the voi^e of the trumpet exceeding loud, so that all the people that were in the camp trembled." — Exodus vii. But now, in the revelation of the gospel, it is God him- self who speaks face to face with man. No other testimony is needed. God, in the person of Jesus, is his own testi- mony. He not only spoke in the presence of thousands, but was visible to the eye. Here the people have not been charged by the voice of God from amidst the cloud of darknebS ; but heaven itself has poured forth its glorious light, to enable every person to behold the glory and hear the voice of the Lord. " We have seen nd heard the truth itself ; and that which we have seen and heard declare we unto you, for in Jesus it dwelt among us." But the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom ; and our purpose to-day is to inquire what is the nature of the evi- dences upon which Christianity rests, and ascertain whether these evidences are as powerful and conclusive as the im- portance of the subject, and our vital interest in it, justly demands. If it be of the greatest moment for every man to distin- guish between that which is true and that which is false — between that which is genuine and that which is oounter- u REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 101 feit, in worldly matters ; — of how much greater importanco is it that he should distinguish between the true and the false, the genuine and the counterfeit, in spiritual matters ! An error in the first leads but to a momentary loss, while in the second it leads to eternal ruin ; and if it is important for man to distinguish the truth, it is equally important for God to make it clear and plain to him — to make it so plain, that " he who runs may read." We state our subject, then, thus : — It was incumbent on God, in revealing a plan of salvation to man, to give man such evidences of its truth as should be sufficient to convince every sincere and earnest mind. Now, we assert, that God has done this in his revelation of the gospel, and we pro- ceed to indicate the nature and the force of these evidences. The evidences of Christianity are of three kinds : — 1st. Of Testimony; 2nd. Of Reason; 3rd. Of Experience. Under the title of the "Evidences of Testimony," we include several correlative evidences — such as prophecy and miracles — inas- much as whatever evidence they afford in themselves, they again rest upon the evidence of testimony : we have neither witnessed the miracles nor heard the prophecies. Under this head, too, we include all the internal evidence. Now, the value of testimony depends on two things : 1st. On the character and credibility of the witnesses ; 2nd. On their number, relation, and harmony. We say, then, first, that the characters of the witnesses to the truth of Christianity are unimpeachable. The greatest foes to the system acknowledge the perfection of Jesus, and the truth- fulness and sincerity of his followers. They were manifestly, therefore, not impostei's, and, unless they were self-deceived, their witness must have been true. And, second, from the occuiTenoe of the events to the closing of the testimony con- ill 102 AUTOBIOORAPHT OF ceriiijig Christianity, there was a considerable lapse of time, during which several witnesses, at different times, announced its facts and truths unchallenged by the world. And those narratives, without being identical, are harmonious and con- sistent throughout. The evidences of reason may be stated thus : That the things or truths attested shall consist with the reason and constitution of man, — that they shall do no violence to either ; not that man shall be able to comprehend every- thing stated, but that, as far as he does understand them, they shall be reasonable. The reason of man is often appealed to in holy writ : — ** That ye may be able to give a reason to every one for the faith that is in you ;" " Render yourselves unto the Lord a living sacrifice, which is your reasonable service ;" " Come and let us rea^ort together, saith the Lord." The soundest deductions of reason show that Christianity is true, as we shall prove after having stated our third kind of evidence — the " Evidence of Experience," which is faith. The evidence by experience, or experimental evidence, is that evidence which every man receives directly he becomes a sincere lover of the truth ; so long as he hardens his heart and denies the truth, he is without this last evidence ; he is like a man who, shutting his eyes, declares that he cannot see, and faith, or the evidence by experience, is just tJie opening of his eyes when he sees everything. This evidence is the most satisfactory method of obtaining a knowledge of the facts, for it is the evidence of our con- sciousness ; we do trust, and cannot 'help trusting, for it is an intuitive principle, the testimony of which no man can resist. It is indeed this evidence of our consciousness which, through our senses, is our onlj means of knowing REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 103 what passes in the worhl without us ; and this wonderful and irresistible testimony to the truth of Christianity any man may have who will clear his heart of prejudice, and give up his mind to the action of Christianity upon it. Let us now briefly notice the superiority of this evidence over every other, and we see it in two things — firet, in its greater weight and force ; and, second, in the facility and ease with which it may be procured. However credible a witness may be, or with whatever proofs he may come to me, if my experience and conscious- ness testify against him, it is impossible that I should believe him, even if I am shown a thousand reasons which appear strong and conclusive. They all fail to overturn my con- sciousness and experience. So we see the superior strength of this evidence, although, as we have shown before, both witness, reason, and testimony agree in this case, making our evidence trebly strong. Then see, secondly, the facility we have in getting this evidence by experience J It may be had at once by the poorest or by the most unlearned ; by the child or by the savage ; in any place, at any hour ; it rests entirely with ourselves. But the other evidences can only be gained by long study and large resources, as we have seen. It is necessary to examine and test the truthfulness of the liistory and of the historian, of the oration and the orator, before we can trust them ; and even the internal evidence of the truth, and the fact that it harmonises well in all its parts, and is corroborated by so many distinct sources of information, is only gained by the careful student at considerable expense; and all these minor evidences together, when obtained, still leave the inquirer in perplexity. They only serve to make visible to him the cloud of darkness and doubt that sur- .a^ 7^ 104 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF rounds him : at the best they are only the twinkling glimmer of a ^**w stars through the night of unbelief. Bii , the evidence of experience is as the bright shining of the noon-day sun, and can no more be mistaken or doubted than the presence of that great luminary. For instance, is it said, " Ye must be bom again ?" If I have become the subject of the new birth, how can I doubt its truth ? Is it said, "The blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin?" and have I washed my robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, how can I doubt the efficacy of that blood? Is it said, " Through faith in Jesus we have peace with God, and are adopted into His family?" and is this peace mine, and can I call God my Father, what other evidence do I need of the preciousness of that faith ? And am I told that "faith worketh by love, and purifies the heart?" and has love to Jesus begun to purify my heart, what proof besides this do I need that " Christ is the power of God imto salvation to him that believeth ?" We have thus shortly stated what are the evidences of the truth, and we now proceed to explain the office and nature of faith. We have already intimated that the evidence by experi- ence and faith are the same, and we st^ate our subject thus : Faith is the act by which the truth is made to an individual the power of God unto salvation. It might have been sup- posed, indeed, that the salvation which God has wrought out for man was a universal one, and that it redeemed our whole race. But we are taught that it is not so. Man is a free agent — is still left to accept it or reject it, as ho pl€>ases. Salvation is not an external thing put upon him as a gai> ment, and changing only his condition and appearance ] but I REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 105 m I j bub it is an internal thing, put within him as a principle wliich changes his lieart and nature, and Christianity has made a perfect provision for the spiritual destitution of man ; but since there can be no change of circumstances withont change 'of heart, we then say that the peculiar adaptation of Christianity rested in its power to effect this change of the heart and nature. Acceptance of the truths of Christianity implies, in a corrupt nature, a choice of a desire for holiness. Now in a free moral agent, no such change can be effected but by the concurrence of the will. It was necessary, there- fore, that the first step to such a procedure should be an appeal to the choice. The offer of the truth to man is thus made the first appeal to his moral choice, and faith is that act of the will by which the truth is accepted and received into the heart, while unbelief is its rejection and exclusion from the heart. Holiness, then, and therefore salvation, is unattainable except through the faith of the individual ; and therefore it is, that "he that believeth shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be damned." It must be so, and cannot be otherwise. Having thus shown that faith is the first step towards salvation, let us go on to see how it brings the sinner into relation with God. "We know that man, by sin, is brought under condemna- tion of the law of God, and that Christianity is a plan for his rescue from this condemnation. We know, also, that this rescue can only be effected by the infliction of the penalty of the law upon an innocent person, who is able to represent the guilty. Now, Jesus Christ is the innocent person wlio has borne the penalty of the law against sin ; and faith in Jesus Christ is the act by which our sins are 5* iJli ! I B V' llli ! i I ^1 '■ 106 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF removed from us and imparted to Him, and are so atoned for by His death. Faith effects this by transferiiiig the sinner's moral being to Christ : the sinner is made one with Christ — in Christ he becomes created anew. The sinner has no longer a separate moral existence. His very being is merged in Clirist ; and if the law still demands satisfac- tion, it has to seek for the sinner in the Saviour, where it finds every claim fiUfiUed, as it is written, — " There is now therefore no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus." But there is another respect in which faith holds an im- portant place in the sinner's restoration to the divine favour. The sinner is not only guilty but impure, and, as an unholy thing, cannot stand accepted before God. The sinner re- quires something more than an atonement, and faith in Christ furnishes him with more ; as, by faith, the sinner's crimes are imputed to Jesus. So by faith, too, the Saviour's righteousness is imputed to the sinner. Here, again, we recognize the transference of the sinner's moral being to Christ. In Christ the sinner is perfectly pure and holy ; and God seeing him there by faith, can be "just, and the justifier of him that believeth." It will be seen that I hold the doctrine of justification by faith alone ; that I exclude all mention of works. I do it on several grounds, some of which I shall proceed to state. In the institution of the " ceremonial law," it was ordered that every ofiering should be perfect, pure, and spotless, without mar or blemish. Even the palm-branch, which the Jews use in their Feast of Tabernacles, mus be perfect. Now, from all these significant facts, we have the grand lesson that God can accept nothing bat perfection. But all the actions of man are imperfect. The best deeds of Chris- -ni you say, how shall I escape 1 "Wliat way is open to me ? How can I make this saving evidence of experience which you have described, my own? I answer, by consi. deration of the truths that bear upon yourself. By thinking of 2/our guilt, of your ruin, of the love of Christ for you ; of his bearing your sins upon tlie cross ; of your pardon, your hope, your reconciliation to God. Perhaps I am addressing some who, while disposed to admit the general truths of Cliristianity, are yet unwilling to accept its direct and practical bearing upon themselves, have not yet concluded to receive revelation as a final and absolute authority. They ask for stronger and more convincing proof than the existence of a written and reasonable record. Tliey require some signs and wonders ; they demand a demonstration which shall be irresistible. We say that such a demonstra- tion is open to them, and that it lies in this evidence by experience which we have described. The person who ac- cepts the truth in the love of it, receives the highest of all possible demonstrations, viz., that of his own senses ; he sees, he feels, he tastes, he handles the word of life. There may be a few who would say, — "Show me a good proof that you are right ; give me a sufiicient evidence, and I will believe l" Well, my friends, this evidence of experi- ence is the evidence I offer you again ; and indeed it is the only evidence which is of any real value to you, because signs and wonders and human wisdom will never convert you. Even if you received and admitted all the facts and truths of Christianity, it would do you no good without this experimental evidence. Thousands, yea, tens of thousands, call themselves Christians, who of course admit the truth of Christianity, and who know nothing of its power ; and you. IM 110 AUTOTlIOOTlAriTY OP too, who arc unconverted, might do the same, and bo as gml- less and hopeless as you are now, and will remain so, unless you give your hearts to the Lord altogether, and receive this experimental evidence. But the trutli is, tliere is not the want of evidence. It is not the intellect which rebels against Christ and his gospel, but it is the heart. If our hearts were humbled and changed, it would be ea^y for us to believe all the rest. Every difficulty would vanish like the mist off the waters before the rising of the sun. ♦ I appeal to your consciences. There is a stem witness there in my favour. Even now you cannot entirely sup- press its voice. It troubles and alarms you ; and the day will come when all the blendings of time and sense will be swept away, and the call of your consciences will witness against you in a terrible remorse. Oh ! I entreat you to think of these things. Accept the testimony of one who has himself, by consideration, arrived at the truth. Accept the testimony of one who has found a remedy for his sins and wants — a cure and satisfaction for his soul ! For me it has brought life and immortality to light. Try it, my dear friends, for yourselves, and surely it will do the same for you ; and you, too, will ask no other evi- dence or signs, for you will then have the greatest evidence — that of your own experience — which is the power of God and the wisdom of God. Amen. j^d now I can fancy I hear the fastidious critic, who has taken the trouble to wade through this production, exclaim, as he throws himself back in his chair and adjusts the mark in his book, " What a stupid thing it was of him to publish that sermc !" "Why, my dear friend?" "Because it is full of blunders and mistakes." " Well, I am not surprised REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. Ill at that ; it is my greatest surprise that there are not more of thorn. I do not consider a few orthographical mistakes a fault at all, for your English language does not pretend to write its words as it pronounces them ; and, I must confess, there would have been a great many more of these if I had not constantly referred to the dictionary while preparing it." "Well, but the composition is faulty." Answer: "I had not at that time studied either Quachenhoa or Wimtehja Rhetoric" " Well then, your logic is not always clear, nor your arguments conclusive." " Perhaps not ; but at that time I had not sufficient command of the language to put in just the right word in the right place, and perhaps some of the words I made use of I did not know all the meanings of." " But, worse th^fn all, your theology is very muddy in places, especially in regard to the imputed righteousness of Clirist." To this I reply, " My object in inserting this ser- mon was not to exhibit how much I knew, but how much I did not know. And now, Mr. Critic, you may turn over the page, and commence another chapter ; for :ho sermon is there, and there it must remain." 1 I ■ ) M CHAPTER VIIT. Attempt to Ro-Convert me to Judaism— My Son Dismissed from his Employment — Strong Faith — Openings in other Churches — Lovo for the Methodists — Commence to Travel and Lecture — Visit Montreal — Ilev. Mr. Gemley — Jas. A. Mathewson, Esq. — En- counter with a Jew — Write to my Friends in Hungary — Their Opinion of me — Study English, and Theology — Assisted by Bro. Elliott — Visited by Mr. Meyer — Letter from Dr. Busenthal — Again in Montreal — Insulting Letter — Mistakes in 'Sneaking English — Amusing Interview — Invitations from Upper Canada — Prepare to Visit it — Letter from Mrs. Dickson — Reminiscence of Three Rivers, The preceding sermon I preached for the fii-Rt time in the Wesleyan Methodist Church in Quebec. The church was crowded to excess. Most of the Protestant religious de- nominations were represented in the congregation, and even some of my old Jewish friends. I was particularly in- terested in these, as I was desirous to know whether it was a principle of cmiosity which had brought them there, or a sincere desire to arrive at truth. This 1 was not long in discovering, for while they listened attentively to all I said, I could see the exhibition of a feeling of uneasiness, when- ever I mentioned the name of Jesus, or spoke of my own experience. It was not, however, the uneasiness of con- viction, but rather that of disgust or impatience, and I fully expected before the close of the service they would originate some disturbance. This supposition proved unfounded, for REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 113 all paRRod off quietly, and I was permitted to return home uiied. The next morning I mot one of them, a Mr. G n, ■wlio was a very intcllig«'nt and respectable man, and ono for whom I hatl always cherished a most particular regard. He accosted mo as foll-^ws : — " Well, Mr. Freshman, you know I am nvOt one of those who could spit in your i^ "^sence, or pronounce tb ^ common curse over you, for I always re- RI)ected you, and still have feelings of kind regard for you j but I must confess I wjus surprised to hear you repeat such nonsense as I listened to yesterday from you. Of course, I do not believe the report that you have received several thousand dollars for becoming a Christian, for I know your family are in very straitened circumstances, and I believe I am coiTectly informed, that yoiu* children ate nothing yes- terday but rice, and even that was sent you as a present by Mr. C ." " Come," said he, " you need not suffer any more. You know I can help you, and all your old friends are similarly disposed. If you will only come back and be our Rabbi, and confess that you renounced your religion in ignorance, we will welcome you cordially, and all will again be well." Thus he continued to urge for about an hour, I all the while listening very attentively. When he had stopped to take breath and collect his thoughts for a fresh attempt, I invited him home to my house, where we could finish the conversation and come to a mutual imderstanding. This he decidedly refused to do ; and as I had no disposition to let him have vjverything his own way, we walked together out on the common, and spent about another hour ; but this time I had my say^ and I occupied the whole of the time in reasoning with him about the Messiah. It was of no avail. Prejudice was stronger than reason. However, he could ap- i 1^ " i I 114 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP predate the reasonableness of my arguments, and began to be afraid, if he remained any longer in my company, he would be convinced outright ; so he turned suddenly to leave me, saying, as he did so : — " One thing I am sure of, and that is, that you are not mad, for I see that you can still talk sensibly ; but I am very much afraid a ruach hotawM — (an unclean spirit) — has taken possession of you. You have done a great injury to my soul already. I bid you good-bye," he continued ; " but I know I have committed a great sin in listening so long to a meshumed" the name by which every converted Jew is designated. " Good-bye," said I ; " I hope the Lord may soon convince you of the errors of your be- lief." '' Shame ! Shame !" said he, and ran off. I fear the poor man who, I believe, was " almost persuaded to be a Christian," is still in the " gall of bitterness and the bonds of iniquity." When I came home, I was surprised to find my eldest son there, for I had engaged him some time before to a Jewish wholesale me^ chant, to learn the business. " Wliat is the matter?" said I, on meeting him. " Why," said he, " my employer has sent me home, saying he does not require my services any more, since I now am a Christian, and have been baptized." " Never mind, my son," said I, " the Lord will provide something else for you to do yet." And, blessed be His name. He had other and better work in store for him, for he is now a preacher of the gospel, and many precious souls have already been converted to the Saviour through his instrumentality. Just now, as I write, he is engaged in a most i:;lorious revival in the village of Poole, county of Perth. Little did I think, when I thus strove to console him for the loss of his place, that he would one day become the second German Missionary in the Wesleyan Methodist wmmmmm REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 115 connection. I believe it was in answer to my strong faith in God in those days, that he has since opened up my path- way, and brought me and my family by such a way as we knew not of. Here I may state that my son Jacob, now an ordained minister, never was at a school in his life, except the Sunda«r-school. All his education has been received at home, under the supervision of his parents ; and perhaps I may say, without parental partiality, that he stands at least as high in the estimation of those to whom it is his j^iivilege to minister, as any of his brethren in the English work, even although they may have the laurels of a University on their brow, and the piety of a Nathaniel in tKeir heart. From his earliest years he was a pious child, and from that time to the present, his moral and religious character has been all that a fond parent could desire. May God keep him faith- ful unto tho end ! When I look back upon those times, I almost wonder that my faith failed not. I had trials to endure which none but God and my own soul know anything about. My family was a sharer with me in many of my difficulties, but my mind was often racked with anxiety which I would not breathe even to the wife of my bosom. However, these were among the " all things " that we are assured work for good to those who love God. They taught me patience and endurance. They inspired confidence in God, and many special providences can I recall when relief would come in some time of need, although no human being knew about that need. Bro. Elliott was always very kind to me, and encouraged me to hope that the Lord would open up my way. His own calm and consistent Christian career did more than anything else to "stablish, strengthen, settle me." He wrote a letter to Dr. Naat, of Cincinnati, explaining the 116 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP circumstances of my conversion and my present position, and asked him if any door of usefulness could be opened for me there. I saw several openings in other churches, if I had chosen to accept them ; but my heart clung to the Wesleyans, as the heart of Jonathan to David. I felt it my duty to preach, and yet 1 could see tio prospect of usefulness in this capacity among the Wesleyans, for I well knew I was not competent for the English work. But I reasoned, if the Lord converted me by means of this church, and has given me such a love for it, He will find something for me to do in it > and I was not disappointed. Brother Elliott advised me to travel through the country^ deliver lectures, &c., as by that means I could support my family until the Lord would dii'cct me to something more permanent and reliable. With a view to this, he gave me about a dozen letters of introduction to ministers in different parts of the country. Ministers of other denominations in Quebec did the same ; and thus, with about thirty letters in my valise, I was about to start from home. But how was my family to be supported in my absence 1 At that time they had no provision in the house whatever. In this time of need, also, the Lord was my helper. It was suggested by some fi-iends that I should deliver a few lectures on Judaism before leaving, from which I might realize enough to meet present necessities. I immediately fell in. with this idea, and by this means, with the help of a few kind friends, I was able to lepve them about eighty dollars before 1 took my leave. My first visit was to Montreal, where my letters of intro- duction facilitated me in becoming acquainted, in a short time, with all the Protestant ministers in that place. Here, for the first time, I met the Rev. J, Gemley, well known in BEY. CHARLES FRESHMAIf. 117 our connection as a small man with a large mind. I experi- enced the utmost kindness from himself and his interesting family. He proved himself a brother beloved, and I pray the Lord may long spare his life of great usefulness to the cliurch of his adoption. Friends, clerical and lay, vied with one another in kind expressions of regard, and more tangible proofs, also, of their unselfish Christianity. Among the lay friends who are worthy of especial mention, I must not omit that of James A. Mathewson, Esq., a gentleman in every sense of the worfl, with a large heart and generous disposition. From him I received many tokens of esteem and regard on which my mind to this day delights to reflect as on the bright spots which illumined the dark cloud which hung over that part of my history. May the Lord abundantly reward him in that day when He comes to number up His jewels ! I remained in Montreal about two weeks, preaching and lectur- ing, and was everywhere so well received that I soon forgot all my troubles, and began to enjov fellowship and compiu- nion with my brethren in Christ very much. But one day, as I was passing the door of an old Jewish friend of mine, I stopped and thought, " I must go in and see how he is getting along, and talk to him about Jesus." With this intention I knocked at his door, but the moment his eye rested upon me his countenance assumed such a fiendish expression as is seldom capable of being put on by the in- habitants of this world. I however offered him my hand, but he indignantly refused to accept it. " What !" said he, " shake hands with a meshumed? Nover !" and he stamped Ms feet, and spit out before me several times. " Wliat is the matter?" said I; "is it because I believe that Jesus is the Messiah ]" But scarcely had I mentioned the name of Jesus when he lost all control of himself, and worked himself up 118 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP i\ n* 31111.1 into such a perfect rage that he actually foamed at the moutii, and 'ais flaming eyeballs kindled with such a de- moniac glare as I had never witnessed before, and have no desire to witness again. At the same time he made use of such blasphemous language as would make the hair of the inhabitants of Billingsgate stand on end. In short, — ** Take him for all in all, I hope I ne'er shall see his like again." " Go," said he at last, " go ; and may the curse of God pursue you until your name and memory is blotted out ! " Still, my heart yearned for him, and I lingered, thinking, after all, he might become calm, and give me an opportunity to reason with him. But he seemed determined ; and I believe if I had not prudently taken my leave, blood would have been shed. " "Well," said I, " if I must leave, remem- ber the day will come when you will need a Saviour to save you from eternal condemnation. Goodbye." And off I went, all the while reflecting on the blessedness of that religion of Jesus which alone made me to difier from him ; and glad, moreover, that I was not afraid to speak of my Saviour, even to one who despised His very name. After remaining about two weeks in Montreal, my ministerial friends made an appointment for me to come again in the month of Sep- tember, and give them a few more lectures. They did not, however, permit me to return to my family empty-handed. On my return I could not repress feelings of the liveliest gratitude to God, for having raised up so many kind friends for me in Montreal, many of whom, in various denomina- tions, continue my friends to this day. My confidence in the providence of God was stronger than evor. The more REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 119 glad, M I experienced of the power of Christianity in my heart, the better T liked it ; and the more frequent exhibitions I wit- nessed of the enmity of the Jews, the more thankful I felt for having escaped the trammels of a religion which per- mitted its worshippers to cherish such feelings of bitter ani- mosity ; and the more light I received, the stronger was the contrast between my present and my former position. But now I thought I must write to my friends in Hungary, and tell them what the Lord had done for my soul. I felt an anxiety for the welfare of all mankind, but especially for those of my own flesh and blood, whose minds I still knew were dark and ignorant, still waiting for the coming of a Messiah who had already so gloriously accomplished his mission. I wrote several letters to my own relatives and those of my wife, but in no case did I receive a single answer except once, from my own brother ; and from the tenor of his letter, I gathered that they neither wished to know any more about me nor the Saviour whom I had found, and so I was reluctantly compelled to bring my one-sided coiTespondonce to a close. I hope, however, before this time light may have penetrated even the dark places where they still reside. I now commenced a vigorous attack upon the English lan- guage. No one who has learnt it upon his mother's lap can appreciate the difficulty which a foreigner experiences in acquiring a fluent use of its copious, though many timea in- tricate, forms of .expression. These have not only been alluded to, but CTftborately dwelt upon, by others, and my ex- perience would only be a repetition of that which has been better told by more competent perspns, so I shall not here dwell upon it. I wished especially to master the whole field of Wesleyan theology, and compare it with that of other 120 AUTOBIOQRArilY OP iH Christian churches, which differed in any important re- spects. In this very laudable undertaking I was materially assisted by my best of friends, the Rev. J. Elliott, whose library was always at my service, and of whose time I also engrossed a larger share than I am sure he could very well spare. I felt my deficiency in theology beyond those doc- trines, the truth of which I had myself experienced. In my preaching also, when I would have occasion to quote a pas- sage of scripture, I was just as likely to be incorrect as not ; for although I read the English Bible a great deal, it was the text of the German which would come up in my memory, and it was a translation from this I used to give in my quotations. This will be seen by a reference to my sermon published in the preceding chapter. But in obviating both these difficulties I was much assisted by Bro. Elliott. Just about this time I was visited by a Mr. Meyer, a con- verted Jew, of New York, who happened to be in Quebec. I had the pleasure of returning this visit about four years afterwards, in his own home, in New York. He came in company with Dr. Helmuth, and brought me a Commentary on the Epistles, written in the Hebrew and Chaldaic lan- guages, and sent to me by the author, Dr. Biisenthal, a con- verted Jew, of Berlin, Prussia. This Commentary did me a great deal of good, and enlightened my mind on many pas- sages. Its gifted author, himself a converted Jew, knew exactly those passages which would be perplexing to the mind of a Jew, and he employed his rare abilities in satis- factorily explaining them. I shall ever be sensible of my indebtedness to him for this valuable present. I afterwards received a very encouraging letter from Dr. Biithensal him- self, in wliich he exhorted me to continue faithful to the end, and hold myself prepared to endure persecutions, not only ^ REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 121 rtant re- [laterially itt, whose ,mo I also very well those doc- d. In my lote a pas- 3ct as not ; eal, it was y memory, give in my my sermon iating both ott. eyer, a con- in Quebec, four years He came in Jommentary laldaic lan- ithal, a con- itary did me n many pas- Jew, knew exing to the ties in satis- isible of my I afterwards Ithensal liim- il to the end, ons, not only from the Jews, but from the Christians also. " For, dear brother," said he, " the Gentiles, and even some who are converted, always look with suspicion upon a converted Jew, and no matter how groat the sacrifices you make, or how exalted your piety ; no matter how far you exceed them in ability or outshine them in usefulness, still they will always look upon you as a Jew, even though a converted one. Look to Christ, my dear brother, and pay no attention to what they say about you. I know it will be hard for you to find a suitable position in the church ; but wait only on the Lord, and let us tliank God, while we reflect, that Paul and Peter were once in the same position." He requested me to writo him a detailed account of all the circumstances connected with my conversion, which I accordingly did, and sent the manuscript by the hands of Mr. Meyer, who goes to Europe about once a year. When the month of September arrived, T was again just about to start for Montreal to meet my engagement there, when I received a very insulting letter from a man who belonged, as he said, to the Church of England, but who, I learned, had originally been a Roman Catholic. He must have been a stupid person, at any rats ; and perhaps, if "Darwin's Theory of the Origin of Species" be correct, we should find one of his forefather's to have had longer ears than usually fixlls to the lot of a human being, — even a Roman Catholic. In this letter, he said I was bound to give a public reason as a converted Jew why I had not been baptized in and joined the Church of England, as that was the only church which I sliould have chosen. He further told mo I must publish all my credentials from the different Rabbles in Europe, else he would look upon me Jis an im- postor, and treat me as such. Much more such stuff did i ' '1 1 I ii 109 AUTOBIOGUAPIIY OF that precious documont contain to tlie same effect, wliich I will not burden those pages by transcnbing ; but I must say I never received more amusement from any letter I ever had sent to me. I, however, took no notice either of the man or his letter ; but casually learned soon after that the would-be Church of England man belonged to no church at all ; or if he did, it was to that one which existed in the time of the Apostles, and who were called " Busy-bodies- in-other-men's-matters." I suppose they retain the " Apos- tolic succession," for I have met a few of them in every place where I have gone. After this little episode, I proceeded to Montreal, in order to meet my engagement there. I was again most cordially welcomed, and my lectures were very well attended ; but I must confess I still experienced a great deal of difficulty in using the English language extempore. I could think in it straight along when by myself in my study ; but "vrhen I was on my feet addressing an audience, the right word for a par- ticular place would come up in four or five other languages, and the poor English word perhaps not be among them at all. I made some amusing mistakes in the selection of somo of the words I did use, such as " extinguish " for " distin- guish," " distract " for " extract," and such like.* But the good people displayed remarkable forbearance, and even en- couraged me to go on, with the hope that I would some day become an Englishman, as far, at least, as the use of the • One of these occurred when I announced for Dr. Nasi to preach in Hamilton, and called him one of the most *' extinguished^^ men in the German work in the United States. I never discovered my mis- take till Joseph Lister, Esq. , plajrf ully pointed it out to me after the service. i which I . I must er I ever r of the that the Imrch at a in the y-bodies- " Apos- Lii every in order cordially 1 ; but I Lculty in ink in it en I was )r a par- iguages, them at of some " distin- But the ven en- me day of the 3 proach men in my mis- fter the REV. CHAHLES FRESHMAN. 123 hmgungo was concerned. In this manner I again was en- abled to provide food to eat and raiment to put on, for myself and those over whom God had constituted me the guardian and protector. Tins time I remained a couple of weeks, when I again returned to my home in Quebec. One morning, shortly after my return, a knock came to my door, and what was my surprise when, in responding to it, the very man who had written me the insulting letter before alluded to, was ushered into my presence. 1 invited him to be seated, and let me know his business. " Well," said he, " I would like to know why you did not answer my letter?" My face immediately relaxed into a broad grin, as I re- plied, good humouredly, — " I never knew that I was obliged to bark at every dog that barks at me, and so you have my answer ; and if you have any more questions of that nature, I am a'; ycvi" service." He seemed h. littlo disiccncerted at my gccd humour, but seemed determined to insult me if possible. " Well then," said he, " I would like to know whether you are really a convei-ted Jew, for the Jews around here predict that you will prove to be an impostor before a year is over ; and I, as a Christian man, wish to know the real cause you had for resigning your position among the Jews ! " " What do you mean by a converted Jew ]" said I. " Do you want to know whether 1 am a Jew, or whether I have been converted? If you mean the first, I answer, — My father and mother were Jews, and they taught me a great many useful things, which I hope I will never forget. Among others, that it was very impertinent to meddle with things that did not concern me ; and as I see that your Christianity did not teach you that, I am that much of a 124 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF f i I W Jew to this (lay. If you want to know whether I liavo l)een converted or not, I am going to preach to-night, and I shall be very happy to tell you all about it in my sermon." But tliis would not do for him. I saw he was about to put to me another of liis weighty and unanswei-able ques- tions, and in order to be beforehand with him, I said : " " Pray, sir, let me ask you, — Have you been converted yourself?" " That is none of your business," said he. " Well, then," said I, " have I not as good a right to ask you why you left the Roman Catholic Church, as you have to ask me why I renounced the Jewish faith »" Here my man discovered that I was prepared to meet him on his own ground, and make use of his own weapons, so very little more was said by either, and he was not long in taking his leave. I never could discover what his intentions were. Very evidently there was "a screw loose" in the upper story somewhere. Certainly he was the strangest specimen of a Christian I have ever met with. Previous to this, and also during this time, I had received and was constantly receiving letters from my ministerial friends in Upper Canada to visit them, and preach or lecture for them. I had contemplated this visit for a length of time, and had devoted a good deal of my leisure towards preparing for it. I was now ready to start, but Mrs. Freshman did not like the idea of parting with me for such a length of time as I intended remaining away, and raised all kinds of objections. She looked upon Upper Canada as a foreign country, and but partially civilized at that : — full of wolves, and bears, and Indians, and rattlesnakes, and all the dreadful things she had ever read about. After, however, disabusing REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 125 id to meet her mind of all fears of danger from these sources, and pro- mising to come hack and see her every three weeks, she finally consented to let me go. Before leaving Lower Canada, 1 may be allowed to men- tion the kindness which I experienced from a pious Christian lady named Mrs. Dickson, then residing at Three Rivers. Her elegant home was not only oi)en to receive mo, when I visited her, and to accommodate me while I remained, but her Christian conversation and kind encouragement to my- self, as well as her many acts of disinterested generosity to my family, endeared her to me beyond measure. I shall never forget a letter which this lady wrote to Mrs. Fresh- man, while yet unacquainted with her, which is so worthy of being preserved, that, with her kind permission, I take the libei-ty of here inserting it : — "Three Kivers, July 11, 1859. " Mrs. Freshman, " My dear sister in Jesus Christ, although I have not the pleasure of being personally acquainted with you, yet I feel a deep interest in your welfare, both spiritual and temporal. I hope that God will raise up for you in the Christian church better friends than you have given up in renouncing Judaism. Though I speak or write of this first, do not think it is first in my mind. No, my dear friend ; the salvation of your soul, through the merits of the CiTicified, must ever stand foremost. I thank God that the veil has been taken from jour heart, and that you not only feel convinced that Jesus of Nazareth is the true Messiah, but that you enjoy His converting grace ; that you can, through Christ, 'read your title clear to mansions in the skies. Glory ! glory to God for his unspeakable gift, and the gift 126 AUTODIOGRAPUY OF I I of tlio Holy Spirit, wliicli witnesses ^ith our HpiritH tliat wo uro the children of God ! " Your dear husband's heart is filled with gratitude to God for your conversion. Next to his own soul, your's was the most precious to Mr. Freshman. I have not had as much conversation with him as perhaps I ought. I am not so free to tjilk on the all-important subject as perhaps I should be. That is one of my many faults. But I am much pleased with Mr. Freshman's spirit. I feel convinced that ho is a sincere follower of the meek and lowly Jesus. Do not be discouraged because of the difficulties of the way ; you will meet many. 8atan will make many assaults on your faith. He is an enemy that is never discouraged ; when baffled in one way he will attack you in another. But he is the father of lies — do not believe him ; always fly to Jesus when a doubt or fear crosses you. Mind, Jesus has said to his disciples, * Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.' "We are not left comfortless ; the Holy Spu'it is given to be with us forever. May you enjoy His presence every moment ; it is your rich privilege ! "And do not feel disappointed, my dear sister, if you find many who are called Christians who have not the mind of Christ, out of the church and in the church. As it was in olden times, there were many who called themselves Jews who were not the people of God, because they did not obey God ; so it is in the Christian world. But the religion of Jesus is true for all that. Jesus has said, * Let the wheat and the tares grow together until the harvest,' then it will be known who has served God and who has served him not. " Let your eye of faith be continually fixed on the Saviour, and he will lead you in the narrowest part of the narrow REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 127 w;iy. I liopo tliat you will liavo tlio Hyiupathy of the Chrk- tian churcli, and that the Lord will open up a way whereby your dear husband may be able to provide for the wants of his family. The Lord will provide ; He has said it. Do not doubt His promise. When Martin Luther found his way hedged up and could see no light, he always road tho 4Gth I'salm, and always found light and comfort there* Try it, my dear sister. I send you a small present, which you may find useful for your little ones. I hope you will soon have your worldly affaii's settled to your satisfaction. " I remain, " Yours aflectionately in Christ, "Harriet Dickson." This letter, being written at Three Rivers, recalls to my mind a reminiscence of that place. While still a Rabbi, I was called upon to attend the funeral of a Jew who resided there. On this particular occasion, I became ac(iuainted with a relative of the deceased, a Mr. H , a lawyer, of considerable reputation, himself also a Jew. 1 conversed with Mr. H on the errors of Christianity, at which time I found him very weak iu the faith. This only led me the more earnestly to endeavor to persuade liim, according to my own belief, that Jesus Christ had no claims whatever to be considered as thq^Messiah. The first time I visited Three Rivers again, after my con- version, I sought out tliis man, thinking ho would be a suitable subject to receive the doctrines of the Cross. Imagine my surpri«(e on being told that if I even entered his house he would throw mc out of doors ! " That cannot M 128 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF I '11 be," said T, " I will not believe it." So I went to «ce for my- self. I was told when I went to the door that tho master of the house could not be seen. I, of course, did not press the matter, and came away, as I thought it was as civil in him ta leave me outside as to let me in and then throw me out. There is plenty of room " out of doors" for every body to live in, even if seme houses are too small to contain two individuals. So, with these sage reflections, I came away, thinking I should perhaps never see him again. When I was leaving Three Rivers, however, I was surprised enough to see him on the steamer on which I was travelling. I thought this meeting a providential oj)poi'tunity afforded me to do him good. With this intention I went forward and offered him my hand. This he not only refused to take, but stared at nie, with a look of hatred and utter contempt glenming frora his eyes, and overRprcading his countenance. Ho continiuKl all the Mdiile spitting out before me, and using such blasphemous, and even indecent language, that no Jew even could make use of without blushing. I could not restrain the tears fror^ coming into my eyes, as I saw the depth to which the poor fellow had sunk, for I now knew that he was neither a Jew nor anything else that was good and respecta))le. Poor man ! I never gave him any occasion for such an exhibition of passion. On the contrary, I had always endeavoured to do him good, as far as my ability and light would allow. I hope the ftord may convert his poor soul ! But this is a digi'ession ; I trust, however, a pardonable one. I was now prepared to start for Upper Canada, but, I must confess, not without fear and trembling. My fears were not of wolves or bears, Indians or rattle-snakes; >< C— L-^l nEV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 129 1 for my- aaster of ress the in him me out. body to ain two e away, When I enough ling. I fded me ird and jO take, )ntempt enance. d using no Jew lid not .aw the ^ knew at was im any ntrary, as my convert lonable a, but, y fears nakes ; but were fears lest my blundering use of the English lan- guage should militate against the success of my mission. I had a great many things to say, if I had only known how to say them. The Lord was, however, better to me than my fears and misgivings. What I said and did, heard and saw, felt and experienced there, must be reserved for another chapter. 6* CHAPTER IX. Visit Upper Canada — Brockville — Ottawa : Humiliation there — Kingston — Mr. Ebstein — Prophecy conceniing — Toronto — John McDonald, Esq. — Interruption at a Lecture there — A Jew's Opinion of Moses and Christ — A Lady's Impression of my Appear ace — Dundas — Rev. J. Carroll proposes to me to become a German Missionary — Return to Quebec — Prepare for District Meeting — Visit London — Benefit from Intercourse with Minis- ters — Jews again try to Re-convert me — Quebec District Meet- ing — Kingston Conference — Impressions of — Reception into — Appointed a German Missionary. My first visit to Upper Canada, in the capacity of a leo- turer, although looked forward to for a considerable time, and prepared for with some care and much anxiety, wae comparatively short. The only place I visited was Brock - ville, which, though one of the smaller towns, contains very many large-hearted and liberal-minded people. The Wes- leyan minister stationed there at that time was the Rev. Mr. Brock, who, from the similarity of his name with that of the town, might be supposed its founder, were it not that the itinerating habits of our ministers preclude the possi- bility of their founding a city or town during the brief period of their sojourn in any particular place. However, if he was not the founder of the town, he was the finder of most exquisite accommodation for myself; and I was the finder in him of much large-hearted generosity and dis- interested benevolcnc^e. He opened his church for me and REV. CHARLES FRESIIMAN, 131 procured mc a congregation, and his pious and devoted help- mate ministered to my temporal wants ; both of them ex- hibiting such kindness as I shall never forget, and, probably, never be able to repay. Here, also, I found Dr. Edmonson, an Elder in the Presbyterian Church, and a good Hebrew scholar. He at once became my firm friend, and, I am happy to say, remains so to this day. I was very kindly en- tertained at his house also, and was much benefitted by his godly conversation and consistent Christian deportment. But where all were so kind, time would fail me to specify each individual. Suffice it to say, that most of the Protes- tant clergy of the town opened their churches to me, and permitted me either to preach or lecture to their congrega- tions. I used to think, in those days, I must be a very witty or humourous speaker, as whenever I would look at my congregations I could witness the broadest expanse of coun- tenance dilated into the pleasantest of smiles during the pro- gress of my lectures, and sometimes even in my sermons. I have since either learned more wisdom or have less conceit in myself, for I now belif ''e it was my foreign accent and mispronunciation of your "plain English" that excited most of the smiles aforesaid. However, if I made them smile, they made me smile too, when I came to witness tho proceeds of the various meetings which I held amongst them j and if they were as well satisfied as I was, I am sure there is no occasion for complaint on either side. But, after all the kindness of the Brockville people, I began to consider that man a very profound philosopher, and gifted with a large amount of the knowlege of human nature, who wrote, "There's no place like home!" Mrs. Freshman extracted a promise from me before I left my family, tliat I woidd visit her at least every throe weeks. 132 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP : I Before the three weeks had expired I was glatl enough to return, which I accordingly did, bringing home with me pleasant reminiscences of Upper Canada and its interesting people. On my return home, I found several letters awaiting my arrival; among the rest, one from the Rev. John Carroll, the Wesleyan minister then stationed at Ottawa, and who is now likely to leave behind him a reputation, as an author, which will not soon be forgotten. His letter invited me to visit him, and preach an anniversary sermon in his church. I hesitated before accepting this invitation, as I knew I would meet with some celebrities in the Wesleyan con- nexion, before whom I felt a great reluctance to preach, as I had in some of my lectures painfully experienced my deficiency in command of the language. However, after carefully preparing and writing out a sermon, I thought it would answer; and wrote him a reply accepting his invita- tion, and in a few days I again took leave of my family and started for Ottawa. I suppose no one can write a book about preachers and preaching, without having some amusing things to tell about them ; and, I dare say, no one makes a practice of preaching written sermons without experiencing some mis- hap, sooner or later. I was not to be an exception, as the sequel will show. I arrived in Ottawa on the Saturday before I was to preach, with my sennon in my pocket instead of in my head, where it ought to have been. On the Saturday evening a severe storm arose, which continued during the night, and with somewhat moderated violence during the following Sabbath-day. A great deal of damage was done by the gale, and among other things the roof was entirely REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 133 blown off the Methodist Church in which I was to preach, so that it was impossible to make use of it when the time came. In this emergency, the Town Hall was pro- cured, and the congi*egation wtis notified to assemble in it, which they did at the proper hour. Now came the tl-.ae for my sermon. Diu-ing the period of preparation for this service, such thoughts as the following had been running through my mind, — " Large church," — " Great men to hear you," — " Fashionable congregation," — " Must give them a great sermon." When I ascended the pulpit, I saw the Rev. Dr. Pc and the Rev. J. Carroll, seated on the plat- C( ^rm in front of me ; and I proceeded to insert my " great sei'mon" — which was written on separate sheets of paper — between the leaves of the Bible. AW being ready, the ser- vice was commenced as usual, and all proceeded smoothly enough until I had got nicely into my sermon, when a sudden gust of wind, coming through some broken panes of glass in one of the windows of the hall, scattered my manu- script sheets in all directions, and left me standing in shamo and confusion before my congregation, and especially before the two distinguished brethren on the platform, before whom I was especially anxious to preach with acceptability ! Quick as thought, Bro. Carroll snatched up the scattered leaves, and with that remarkable agility which always characterizes him, jumped into the pulpit and handed them to me. But what was I to do with them ? I had not time to arrange them in order, as they were not even numbered. If ever I called to God for help, it was then. My manu- script was now useless, so I just did the best I could without it ; and in short and peculiar metre, finished that luckless sermon. I could see I had the sympathy of the congregation ; but, after all, not for a groat price would I Tf 131 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF I \ place myself in such a position again. I, however, learned some useful lessons from the circumstance, which, after all, perhaps, were wortli tlio humiliation I experienced. Among these were, — " Never try to preach great sermons ; preach Christ." " Never preach to great men, as such, in your congregation ; to the poor the gospel is preached." " Never depend so much on notes as en the assistance of the Spirit of God." These lessons, I trust, I shall never forget, and I insert this circumstance for the benefit of others as well as myself. I lingered in the pulpit after the service was over, hoping the congregation would disperse, as I was ashamed to ho seen by them. But in spite of my wishes, and as if to punish me, a good many remained, desirous to speak with me, so I had to come down, None of them embarrassed me, however, by any allusion to my mishap ; and Brother Carroll spoke very kindly to me, saying I had done very well under the circumstances, and was sure I would do better the next time. This encouragement, from so good and experienced a brother, determined me to begin to preach extempore, or at least with but very few notes — having a bare outline before me. This, as I acquired addi- tional facility in the use of the language, I was also en- abled to do away with, and have had many of my happiest times when I had not even the scratch of a pen before me in the pulpit. As I had now adopted a somewhat nomadic mode of life, Ottawa was not attractive enough to detain me any very great length of time, nor had I any desiit? to linger in the scene of my humiliation, so I bent my steps in the direction of Kingston, or rather in the direction of the cars which were starting for Kingston. It will thus be seen tliat I had REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 135 an easier method of transfer than tliat which characterized my early life ; but I do not know t' t I was any happier. I was still unsettled, and had no notion of settling down as a professional lecturer, with only a run liomo to my family every three weeks ; and as yet I saw no other pros- pect. However, I never had reason to cot "plain, as I always experienced the utmost kindness. "When I arrived in Kingston, I went to the home of the Rev. Mr. Grey, the Presbyterian minister of that place. He took me round to see the sights, and kindly entertained me during my stay there. I spent a very happy week in the city, during which I became acquainted with the Rev. Mr. Ebstein, a converted Jew, whom the Presbyterians (the Old Kirk) were about to send as a missionary to the Jews in Palestine. Before doing so, however, they were going to send him to New York to learn the medical profession. This appeared very strange to me. I could not understand why a man, whose business it was to preach the gospel, should spend three years of the most valuable period of his life, at an expense of more than three thousand dollars, in studying a profession which had not the most remote con- nection — as far as I could gee — with preaching the tidings of salvation to fallen man. " Why," said I, to Dr. Macher, with whom I had some conversation about him, "why not give him a thorough theological training, and teach him the languages spoken by the people among whom he is to labour, so that he maj be able to cure all mental and spiritual maladies, instead of teaching him, in New York, to cure diseases which he will likely never meet with in the Holy Land ] " "A la^wledge of the medical profession," replied Dr. Macher, ^ >cill be more likely to procure him a favourable 136 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 1 reception among them, and inspire tliem with confidence in him ; then, when he has gained their confidence as a physi- cian, it will be all the easier for him to break to them the bread of life." "I do not believe a word of it," said I; "no Jew will ever place any more confidence in him on account of his profession ; and, for my part, I have no faith in the success of his mission. I would rather send him to the heathen, for it is my belief that the heathen are first to be converted, and then, with the fulness of the Gentiles, the Jews will be brought in." During another conversation with Dr. Macher, after I became better acquainted with Mr. Ebstein, the Doctor asked me what I thought of him (Mr. Ebstein). "Well," said I, "I foimd him a very intelligent and clever man. I believe he is a pious man, too ; and he has a pretty good knowledge of the Hebrew language." " Yes," said the doctor, " and that is the reason we send him as a missionary to the Jews." I still had my doubts, however, as to his success, and told the doctor, — " Before two years are over, your mission will prove a failure." I am sorry to say that I possessed the gift of prophecy once, at least, in my life ; for after that church had expended Jju ^usands of dollars on their missionary, and kept him there over two years, he did not succeed. He is there still, it is true, but not as a missionary. He is only a " doctor," try- ing to heal the poor bodies of the benighted Jews, while their minds are still beclouded with worse than Egyptian darkness. About three years afterwards, I met Dr. Macher, who said to me, " After all, you were right about Mr. Ebstein REV. CHARLES PRFSHMAN. 137 and our mission to the Jews, for we have already had to abandon it." While in Kingston, I preached in the different churches on Sabbaths, anlonty of work. Bro. Douglas gave tlio money readily, and I handed it over to Mr. K , the carpent<;r. He received it witli thankfulness, and promised to como to church next Sabbath. I have found some of tho Germans very ready to j)romiso, and would therefore recommend these, — as well as many others afflicted with a similar propensity, — to study tho common-sense problem, given in an old book : — - , ' ■■•■■■■■,(' ** Thoy who aro always promiBing, Tlio weakness of their minds betray ; How can they ever keep a thing Which they 80 often give away ?" However, according to promise, Mr. K was at church tho next Sabbath, and appeared very attentive. Ho camo regularly to church for a few weeks, and even gave me his name, as wishing to join — but the four dollars camo not ! I soon discovered his motive in coming to church, for when I reminded him of his failure to return what I had lent him, he said he would pay it in work on the church. *' Besides," said he, " if you are a good man, and feel as much interest in the German people as you pretend to do, you will get me the job for the whole of the carpenter's work on the church." "Tliat," said J, " I cannot do, as the work is to be given to the man who will agree to do it for the lowest figure, and is, in other respects, satisfactory ; but if you send in your tender you will stand as good a chance in getting the work as any one else." This he said he would do ; and on the evening appointed to receive the tenders, ho and some of his friends were present. His tender was found to be two hundred doUara REV. CTIAllLES FRESHMAN. 151 hif?lior than any ono of tho others — so, of coiirflo, wo could not employ him. His sordid and ])aKo motives, in joining tho church, tlicn bf3gan to exhibit themselves, as ho indig^ nautly exclaimed, — "I shall never again have anything more to do with either you or your church !" lie became very angry, but gave no violent outburst of his passion, in tho expression of his feelings, whilst in our i)rosence. Ho and his friends then left tho room, and he never entered our church again. I would have been very glad if ho had kept his promise, and never had any anytliing to do with us again ; but alas ! it was not so. His doings, however, were a'' *'^ the way of opposition. On Sundays he used to watch fui our people as they were returning from church, — molesting, insulting, and cursing them and their preacher. This practice ho continued for some time ; when, on a cer- tain Sabbath, as ho stood as usual, reviling our people on their way from church, and with uplifted arm thr(;ateiiing them, his wickedness scom(5d to have culminated. The sen- tence was pronounced, — " Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee !" On that very night he was struck with ai)oplexy, and before morning ho was a lifeless >i corpse Strange to relate, the hand which had been uplifted in a threatening attitude towards the peo})le of God, was found after death in that ui)lifted positicm, stiff and cold, so that it was found impossible to bring it to its proper position witliout breaking the bone ; and rather than do that, a collin was made to fit the position of tho arm. Did any ono over harden himself against the Lord and prosper ? Our church, when completed, if it had no other merit, 152 ArTOBIOOT^AniY OP Iiatl at least that of being the first German Wcsleyan Cliurch in Canada. As our minds go back over one hundred years, and con- template the infancy of Methodism on this continent ; as we see it cradled in that first church in John Street, New York •* and look forward during the next hundred years, — who ctin tell wliat may be the position of our German work in Canada at the end of that time ! One thing is very certain, — we have the same God to smile upon us as Embury and Webb, Pilmoor and Boardman, and the host of other heroic and devoted men, their co-laborers, had to smile upon them. We have scarcely more difficulties to contend against, than they had to encounter ; and so far we have no reason to complain of our want of success. May the Lord make every German Missionary " in labours more abundant ! " When our church was completed, we secured the efficient services of the Rev. Dr. Nast, of Cincinatti, and the Rev. Dr. Wood, of Toronto, to dedicate it to the worship of God. Thus, it will be seen, if we were small we were ambitious ; for nothing less than the services of two of the most eminent men — ^the one, in Canada, noted for his connection with the work of Wesleyan Missions ; and the other, for his connec- tion with the German work in the United States — would satisfy us ; and we were abundanly repaid in the rich showers of blessings which attended the ministrations of those devoted servants of God. * Strange coincidences often happen. The German work was commenced in John Street, Hamilton, and the German Church was built on the street bearing the same name as my old grand- mother, who first called me her Tano. (Jaddcll. i BEY. CHARLES FRESIIMAN. 153 '^csleyan md con- tent ; as 5t, New d years, German bliing is m lis as »lie host , had to ilties to 3 far we i. May TS more efficient he Rev. of God. bitious ; eminent vith the connec- -woukl le rich ions of 3rk was Church L'vand- Dr. Nast remained with mo a few days, and assisted mo in a protracted meeting wliich I started, and wliicli, I am happy to say, resulted in the conversion of alx)ut twenty souls. This was very encouraging to me, but it was not without its drawback, as is true of most subhinary things. Previous to the commencement of the revival, I had about seventy names of regular attendants on my ministry ; but alas 1 not one of them converted. As soon as I began to enforce the discipline among these, and urge the necessity of being converted, in addition to lives of morality, a great many of them left me, and came back no more. I am thankful, however, that the Lord did not forsake me, as the gracious out-pouring of his spirit a short time after may attest ; and from that time I deter- mined to acknowledge no membei*s but those who were truly converted to God. Many, I am happy to say, are now witnessing a good confession on earth, and some have already been gathered into the gamer of the Lord. To His name be all the glory ! During the week I used to visit places outside of Hamilton, searching out Germans, and preaching to them. On one occasion I vent as far as Pembroke, where we have now an established mission. I also visited Preston, and other places in the county of Waterloo, where I found a great many Germans perishing for lack of knowledge ; but where, I am now thankful to say, we have several efficient labourers employed, and which has become the centre of the whole German work in the Dominion. Duiing these excursions I got an insight into the extent of the field which was to be worked, but had to lament that I was alone in it ; and as I could not be in more than one place at one time, I was very anxious to obtain an assistant. 7* I .,,! 154 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF Tho Lord was, however, raising me up ono from a source whicli 1 little expected. My eldest son, who had always been a pattern for piety, even in the Jewish Church, when he became converted, threw himself into tho service of Christ with all his heart. At this time he was scarcely eighteen years of age, and yet had already begun to supply for me in my absence, and soon began regularly to travel as a local preacher ; so that in cases of emergency, I found him of great service as an assistant, and used to hear very good accounts of him from those places which he visited. This induced me to hope and believe that the Lord was preparing him also to work a work among the Gennans — " a work which they would not believe, even though a man should declare it unto them." My fii'st year's experience in Hamilton taught me that the Lutherans and other German denominations cherished anything but a friendly feeling towards me ; and very soon I and my family had to suffer reproach and persecution at their hands. Still, I did not waver in my duty, but deter- mined to go straight on in the name of my Lord and Master. But external trials were not the only ones I had to sur- mount. I had internal difficulties to master. In the first place, I had no religious German books out of which to study, except the Bible. I found this a great deprivation, for unless a person will study, he cannot improve his mind. I tried to obviate this difficulty by translating some of Wesley's sermons into the German language. This was a most unsatisfactory process, and very little to my taste ; and I was glad to discover, some little time after, that the Rev. Dr. Nast had translated the whole of them into Ger- man, and had already p\iblished the book. I immediately wrote for it, and derived great benefit and blessing from REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 155 reading it. I used to cany the volume somotimos to the Luthorans, and tell them to examine for themselves, whether there was any diflbronce bt^tween Wesley and Luther. " Wesley, you see," I would say, " preaches ' ye must l)e born again,' and so does Luther." One Lutheran said to me, "It is true that Luther be- lieved in the new birth ; but what he meant by being bom again refers to a process which takes place after death." ** Ah ! " said T, " I am afraid you never read your Bible, or you could not talk in that manner." "Road my Bible!" said he. " Certainly I do ! I havo road it so much tluit I have l)ecome tired of it." " If that is tlio case," said I, " your Bil>le must be pretty well used up by this timo ; will you let mo see it, and I will prove to you that the new birth does not take j^laco after death?" He searched up and down, high and low, but no Bible was to be found in his house. He pppeared greatly confused, but at last stammered out, " I do not want to have anything to do with you Metho- dists." And, opening the door, " I am a Lutheran," said ho, " and mean to live and die in the faith of my fathers." Seeing the door open I took the hint, thinking to myself, " You are not even a good Lutheran, for if you were you would not speak a falsehood." Another difficulty I now experienced was the want of German hymn-books. This I tried to obviate by translating some of the English hymns into the German language. These I would write out on slips of paper and distribute among the people j but this was a slow process, and only furnished a scanty supply. But even with this scanty supply, who was to sing ! I could not miso a tune myself, nor could I 156 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF find one in my congregation who was able to do so. In this emergency the Lord provided for me, and that again in my own family. My second daughter, who was then only nine years of age, but had a clear and musical voice, and withal had even then made great progress in musical acquirements, came to our rescue and led the singing; and by-and-by we formed a choir, with my little daughter at the instrument. A choir could not long be contented with a few hymns on slips of paper, so I introduced the German hymn-book used by our brethren in the United States ; but so bigoted were some of the Lutherans that they strongly objected to sing from a Methodist hymn-book, oi even to take one in their hands. I was a close observ^er of our English brethren, and what- ever I saw beneficial in their great churches, I strove to adopt as f. r as possible in our little one. One thing thus adopted was the Sabbath-school. I had always appreciated it ever since my introduction to it in Quebec, before my conversion. I however had no one to commence with but my own chil- dren ; but thanks to a kind Providence, they were already numerous enough to fill up a corner even in a large church. Four of them I placed in a class; a fifth, I appointed a teacher ; a sixth, was librarian ; and last, but not least, was the seventh — the singer. From this small commencement it increased by degrees until it numbered about forty. This seems to bo the place to mention with thankfulness the kindly assistance and efficient services rendered to me in this department by Miss Davis, now Mrs. Chisholm, extend- ing over a period of more than two years. Her memory is still in that Sabbath-school, and in my family especially, as ointment poured foi-th. REV. CHARLES FREfiHMAK. 157 About this time a very learned German gentleman, by the name of B , came to the city of Hamilton. He was l)y profession a lithographer. As soon as I became acquainted with him, I invited him to come to church. "Well," said he, "although I do not believe in Chris- tianity, still I will come and hear you preach." Sure enough, according to his promise, he came the next Sabbath, which made me think he was at least an honest man; for often when I would ask the Germans to come, they would promise mo a dozen times for once that they would come. Mr. B not only came, but remained after service, and said to me : — " Sir, I thank you for your discourse, and, if possible, I shall regularly attend your church." After this it was an unusual thing to see his place vacant. He used to pay great attention to the preaching ; and I often thought, if only the Lord would convert his soul, what a fine missionaiy he would make to extend our labours among the Germans ! I paid him marked attention ; visited him fre- quently, lent him books, and assisted him in his temporal affairs ; but above all, urged him constantly to give his heart to God. This he promised me he would endeavour to do, and soon after he joined the church, and helped us in the Sabbath-school, although not yet clearly converted. But on a certain Sabbath, as I was preaching from the following words, " Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal," he professed to have found pca^^e with God ; and, coming to me next morning, said, he was now prepared to go and preach the gospel to the ends of tlio earth. J, having little experience in buch matters at that time, asked th(^ authorities for permission to employ him 158 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP li:. immediately as a tr*^ /elling assistant in our work. But thoy were gifted with a more prudent foresight, and advised mo first to try him for a few months. This, they told me, I could do by taking him with me on a missionary tour, letting him preach and conduct the services ; during which time I could form an opinion of him, and, if favorable, he could then be regularly employed. In accordance with this advice, I took Brother B with me to Preston, and told him that we should preach every night in a different place, among the Germans of Waterloo county. " Above all," said I, " be sure you tell the people everywhere how the Lord converted yoiu' own soul, as it will do them more good to hear it from you, who were yourself a: "nfidel, than if I should tell it to them ; and such preach- ing is more efficacious with them than any other." " Very well," said he ; "I will try." We first came to Preston, where he preached in thiB even- ing, but not one word about his conversion. Tliis I thought very strange, but thought in tlie embarrassment of his first sermon he might have forgotten it. After service, we re- mained all night under t^io hospitable roof of Robert Hunt, Esq., sen., whose kind hospitality I have often shared. Mr. B and I occupied one room, and I observed he went to bed without even saying his prayers. I was shocked — almost horrified — at the thought of a Christian going to sleep without first commending himself to God, and asking Him for protection ! I almost feared to sleep with him, still I luid to do it, mentally resolving to admonish him for his conduct in the morning. "» When morning came, we had to start for Waterloo vil- lage, travelling by the stage, which stai*ted from the North REV OIIARLES PRE8HMAH. 159 American Hotel at eleven in the morning, While waiting for the stage, he said : — " I would like sometliing to eat." " Well," said I, " we will soon be in Berlin, where we can get our dinner ; but, if you are hungry, I suppose the hotel-keeper here can give you a bite." So I ordered some bread and cheese, and a cup of tea for him, which he devoured with an appetite ; after which he called for a glass of beer. I felt mortified beyond measure, and on our way to Berlin I began to reason with him on his conduct. First, as to his conduct on the preceding evening, and then in regard to the beer. " What," said I, " will the Missionary Board say to me when I present them my bill for travelling expenses, among which will be found an item for beer ! And further," said I, "you must know that the money which we receive, comes from the poor as well as the rich, and the five cents which you spent for beer, may have been the last mite of some poor woman, which might have been better employed in procuring food for her children. Besides," said I, "if you must drink at all, never drink in a hotel ; for while all things may be lawful for us, all things are not expedient." He appeared to be very sorry, and promised to be more careful in the future ; but alas ! scarcely had we returned home ere I ascertained that he had spent a whole night in Mr. G 's hotel, drinking freely all the time. I was very sorry to hear this, as he had unquestionable abilities, and went to see him the next morning ; but he frankly told me that he did not feel fit to be a Methodist Missionary. " Well," said I, " take care that you do not lose your soul." " Oh ! a>s to that," said ho, " ] guess I am all right." 160 AUTOBIOORAPnY OP Right or wrong, I was surprised to hear that ho preached to a Lutheran congregation the very next Sabbath, and shortly afterwards their Synod took him in, and ordained him as one of their preachers. So ended my first attempt to secure the services of a regular assistant in the work. A short time after this, I was sent down to the neighbor- hood of Ottawa, to open up a mission among the Germans there. I was stUl, I might say, alone on the field of labor, which was a very large one ; and one or two additional missionaries might easily have found employment. I was authorized to write to Dr. Nast, and ask for assistance from the other side ; but they had none to spare. Nothing daunted, however, I proceeded to the Ottawa, and stopped awhile at Portage du Fort, where the Rev. Mr. Morton resided, who was that time Chairman of the Pembroke Dis- trict. This good brother was very kind to me — took an interest at once in the object which had brought me there ; went around with me to the diflferent places where Germans and Poles were to be found, and to whom I preached in their respective languages. I found these poor people famishing for the bread of life, and I was the first person to break it to them ; so the Wesleyan Methodist Church has the credit of being the first to introduce the gospel among the poor people of that destitute neighborhood. Here I found many poor souls scattered up and down in the woods, like sheep without a shepherd, having no man to care for their souls. Even the Lutheran Church, which claims all the Germans as the children of her inheritance, did not think it worth its while to provide these poor for- saken ones with the gospel of Christ ; the reason, T suppose, being that the people were too poor to support a teacher. But strangely enough, scarcely had we aont a missionary REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 161 araongst them, when their temporal circumstances bepjan to improve ; so much so, that almost simultaneously tliree other denominations — the Lutheran, Allbright, and Church of England — thought it now their duty not to let these people perish for lack of the gospel. Bro. Schmidt was our first missionary to them, procured for us by the luiited efforts of Rev. J. Carroll and James A. Mathewson, Esq., of Montreal ; but his constitution was fi'agile. His health soon failed him, and, before a yeai* had elapsed, he was called to his reward. Mr. L was sent to supply his place, and in the com- mencement of liis career gave great promise of usefulness ; but, unfortunately, it was not of long continuance. He was found to be unfit for the work after a period of trial, and his name was dropped. Still the Lord was not unmindful of us, and his place was supplied by a young brother — although married — named Charles Allum, who lived in Peterborough, while Bro. Carroll was there. He willingly offered himself for the German work, in fact seemed very desirous of being employed. Bro. Carroll also gave him a good recommendation ; but when I came to examine him, I found he had almost forgotten his mother tongue. Still, I encouraged him to come to Hamilton, where I could assist him in preparing for his work. This he did, and was then sent down to the Ottawa to supply the place of Bro. I have several times hinted at the despite in which we were held by the Lutherans, and in fact by most of the German sects ; but I despair of ever being able to give an adequate idea of the extent to which this feeling })revailed among the Lutherans, and its depth and virulence with cer- tain individuals. 1 t 1 : , 1 I 1 ,^ 162 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP A Methodist ! Wliy, the very name was enough to drive a German as far away from me as ho would nin from a rattlesnake, and a great deal farther than I could persuade them to run from the devil ; although I sometimes gave his Satanic Majesty a black enough coat, and a far blacker character ! I was for a long time at a loss fully to account for this deep enmity; but a letter, which fell into my hands on one occasion, p- .'tially opened my eyes, a translation of a part of which I subjoin. The letter is dated " Manheim, I860;" and is addressed to Pastor Stalsehmidt, a Lutheran minister, and is written by another minister of the same church. The following is the extract : — " There is a certain converted Jewish Ilabbi, named Dr. Freshman, who is connected with the Wcslevan Methodist Church, and is travelling around the country preaching to our Germans ; but beware of him ! for as the Methodists only do harm to our cause, I would strongly advise you to raise your voice against him, and not allow him to enter any of our pulpits." By this it will be seen that the adverse feeling was o ' ^ng to the influence of their pastors, and was easily eifecte ; as many of the poorer Germans hold their pastors in as much veneration, and follow their instructions as implicitly, as the poor Roman Catholic that of his priest. I used to visit Preston once a month for the purpose of preaching, but soon ascertained that the Lutheran minister there had no friendly feeling towards me. He was reported to have said that there was no need for me to preach while he was already there. T, however, thought differently ; for although he was there, he used to preach to a congregation numbering scarcely more than twelve persons, in a place REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 163 where huntlreds might liavo l)oen gathered, most of wliom spent the Sabbath-day in the taverns. But although aware of his unfriendly feeling, I went to him on the occasion of my next montlily visit, and askwl him for the use of his church to preach in. • ' ' •: " Well," said Kev. Mr. W , " the trustees I am sui-e will refuse you ; but, since you are here, I have no objec- tion if you obtain their consent." I went to the trustees, and found them quite willing to let me have it ; so I returned to Mr. W , and told him how I had succeeded. " Indeed ! " said he ; " and what text are you going to preach from to-night V " Never mind my text," said I, " I have not chosen it yet. T generally chose my text when I see my congregation." " That is very strange," said he ; " but I should like to know your text beforehand, as I could then choose the hymns to correspond, and also read a suitable portion of scripture." " Oh, as to that," said I, " I never care for such ceremo- nies ; but read wherever you please, and with the help of God I shall endeavour to preach from that portion of scrip- ture which you read." 1 This seemed astonishing to him, but with that under- standing we went to church. The chapter which he read was the ninth of Acts, and I took my text from the fourth verse, — " Saul ! Saul ! why persecutest thou me ?" I had a good time, and felt that the Lord was with me. I suppose I said some things which were not relished by Mr. W , for after this he used his influence to j)revent me from having the church any more. On my nex^ /isit, I had to 104 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP preach in tlio Town Hall ; but, notwitlistanding the opposi- tion, a goodly number came out, so much so, that I felt justified in again writing to Dr. Nast for an assistant, and to my great satisfaction he mentioned the name of Bro. Kappelle, who had already preached two yeara in the United States, but had been discontinued on trial. I sent for Lini immediately to come to Hamilton ; and obtaining pennission from the authorities to employ him, he was sent to Preston, and so this place was at last provided for. oHArTER XI. ; My Son Employed as my Assiatant — Missionary Breakfast in Mon trcal — Digression : David Torrance, Esq. — My Son's Progress as a Preacher — Quarterly Meeting in Preston — Mr. Hespeler — His Generous Donation — Project a Church in Preston — Open an Appointment in St. George — Inclement New Year's Day — Kevival in St. George — Baptist and Lutheran Ministers — Re- markable Conversions — Mr. S. . , . — Mr. Dapj) — His Triumphant Death — Mr. Andrew — Contrast with These — Mr. S. . . . — His Hypocrisy — Useful Lessons. I HAVE previously adverted to the fact that i used to derive occasional assistance from my son Jacob. Tho manner in which he was almost tlirust into the work, may not be unin- teresting to those who have subsequently become acquainted with him and his labours, and I may say, to the glory of God ! with his successes. It was in this wise : — I received a telegi-am from Montreal, inviting me to a missionary break- fast in that city. I felt a strong desire to go ; but as the meeting was fixed for Friday, I saw I should not have time to get back for my Sabbath work in Hamilton, and I did not like to leave my little flock and Sabbath-school • vithoufc a pastor. I wrote to the E.ev. Dr. Wood for advice, stating my difficulty. He advised me oo make every exertion in order to be present. This advice was very much in accord- ance with my own inclination, and it is not to be wondered at that where there was a will there was found a way. After til in king and praying over the matter, tiie thought at ... . ■■'''■^ ':'. '< ■--' -■.:/'*■■' 'yyy Thus I continued to urge him until near midnight, and in a few hours I was to start on my journey. He was still undecided when I parted with him to seek my couch ; but REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 167 D to do 1 years but as ho had iug his thought do such he was 9 some- Ein him- to offer em one almost ifidenco , to urge " surely iple Ian- should low but love the 10 was, f a slow ishment rf Jere- answer, a,t I will u shalt ^ht, and v^as still 2h; but on going to him again, l^ofore I started for the station, lie very reluctantly consented to do as well as he was able ; but I believe in five minutes afterwards, he was sorry for having yielded. I was far enough away, however, in those five minutes, to be out of his reach ; and so, " will he, nill he" ho had bargained to supply for me, and felt bound to comply. I believe he is never likely to forget the mental struggles with which he was engaged, from the time of my departure until the Sabbath arrived ; he could read nothing, study nothing ; his mind constantly went forth to the point of time in which he must appear before the public congrega- tion ; and anxiety so filled that mind, that when Sabbath came ho was quite as unprepared to say anything as when I left him. I, however, went on my way rejoicing. I knew the same " Lord over all " who had so often put words in my mouth would assist my son ; and i already began to see in his stu- dious disposition and deep i)iety, the evidences that God was preparing him for a great work. The greatest work in which a man could be engaged, I considered, was in preach- ing the gospel of Christ, and 'reclaiming lost sinners from tho error of their ways ; and I have not since had occasion to alter my opinion. Although I have found it a discouraging work, a thankless work, an uphill work, a work which men can never appreciate as it deserves, still, I believe the record is on high. It was for this great, difficult, discouraging^ thankless work, that I believed the Lord was preparing my son, and with a full view of its arduous nature, my heart was filled with gi-atitude to God at the prospect. No earthly position which he could have occujjied would have given me so gi*eat satisfaction as that of an ambassador for Cluist ; and as I joiu*neyed to Montreal, I devoutly prayed IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) // //^ .^Jk *^ ii .V Hi 1.0 I.I 1.25 I^IM |2.5 U 1^ 12.2 L" Itf 12.0 U 11.6 <^ y] ^> /J '^^ ^> \ r<\^ N> i 1 V AUTOBIOGRAPnT OP that God would make hira a useful inBtrument in his hands in turning many to righteousness, and a faithful co-labourer with me in the German work. 1 arrived safely in Montreal, very happy to meet and greet many old friends, and fonn the acquaintance of new ones. Not the least attractive part of the meeting was the break- fast provided for the occasion, although it hardly accorded with the usual time at which such a meal is supposed to be eaten. But this was only another of the many wonderful things I have observed since I became an Englishman. Dinner, for instance, is sometimes celebrated in a public manner at ten, eleven, and twelve o'clock at night, with the usual accompaniments of toasting, speechifying, and singing such nonsense as " For he's a jolly good fellow," and many other childish things which men of sense could never be guilty of indulging in, if it were not that they are so toasted as to have their usual sensibilities very much blunted. This mistake of putting dinner off till midnight could never occur in Gei-many, for in our language we call dinner ^^mittags- mahl" that is, the " mid-day meal ;" and to partake of the mid-day meal at midnight would be too paradoxical for the matter-of-fact Germans. Our breakfast, however, was Mot so far out of place, after all ; and although we sung not about any "jolly good fellows," we had as many of them there as could sit around the table. Methodist ministers have usually been characterized for their cheerfulness and humour in the social circle ; and those who were there assem- bled were no exception. Their humour and cheerfulness, however, took a benevolent turn. The coffee made their hearts warmer than the wine-cup had ever done ; and by the time the inner and mental man were satisfied with " the feaat of reason and the flow of soul," the purse-strings of REV. CIIARLSS FRESHMAN. 169 those present were so far relaxed, that twelve hundred dol- lars were subscribed then and there towards the funds of the Missionary Society, before we sepai'ated, as will be found b^'- a reference to the report of that year. I fear I shall be thought a very discursive writer, but, even at the risk of meriting that appellation, I must relate an incident which occurred at this place some six months before. It was on the occasion of one of my visits to Mon- treal, to collect funds in behalf of our German Church in Hamilton. The Rev. E. B. Harper, M.A., who was then stationed in Montreal Centre, very kindly accompanied me to some of the most generous among his wealthy, kind-hearted congregation, and, in his bland and winsome manner, en- listed their sympathies in our behalf, so that in less than two days we had over three himdred dollars subscribed. V Among others, we visited the office of David Torrance, Esq. Before entering, however. Brother HarjKjr said : — "lam afraid, doctor, we shall not get much here; for Mr. Torrance, although a very liberal man, has experienced some very heavy losses of late ; but I ?m sure he will give you something, and perhaps would not like to be passed So in we went, I expecting at most to get about five dol- lars. Mr. Torrance received us very kindly; and after a short conversation about our German work, in which he seemed very much interested, he asked to see my subscrip tion book. This I handed to him, and great was my surprise when he returned it to mo with the remark, "I am only sorry I can do no more for you at present," to find his name down for fifty dollars, and a cheque for that amount in the book. I was overwhelmed, and thanked him heartily for his generous donation. When I left his office, I s;aid to 8 170 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF Bro. Hai-per, — "T hope the Lord may return to him for every dollar a thousand !" Strange to say, a few days afterwards I received infoi-m- mation that Mr. Torrance had cleared a largo amount of money on one single transaction — a cargo of tea. These are the men — noble, disinterested, generous — whose names ought to live as patterns to future generations, an effective comment on the text, — " There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth, and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, and it tondeth to jwverty."* After this digression, I come back to my visit to the Missionary brejikfast. The good people of Montreal not only gave me my breakfast, but I enjoyed their hospitality until after Sabbath, when I again returned to my charge in Hamilton. Great was my joy and gratitude to God, when, on coming home, my wife and several members of my con- gregation told me how much they had been pleased witli the ministrations of my son on the Sabbath. Although he had been unable to make any preparation, he realized the truthfulness of the promise — " Open thy mouth widely, and I will fill it ;" and the hearts of many of his hearers burned within them while he talked with them about the great work of conversion, and described, with tears of joy, and voice choked with emotion, the great things God had done for his own soul. From this time I encouraged him to devote his time more fully to the study of theology, as a preparation for the work of the ministry ; but this he strongly objected to do, on account of his youtJifulness and incapacity. I did * Many thanks are here also due to the Rev. W. R. Parker, B.A., who was stationed on the East Circuit. IlEV. CUAULES FIIESIIMAN. 171 not press tlie matter, believing if God had work for him to do, He would himself make those impressions on his mind, which would induce him to fall in with the divine appoint- ment. Great was my satisfaction at the next quarterly meeting, to find him willing to offer himself as an exhorter ; and afterAvards, at a regular local preachera' meeting, at which the Rev. S. D. Rice, D.D., presided, he submitted to the usual examination, and was duly accepted as a local preacher. From this time he used to preach regularly, taking my place in Hamilton during my absence, as well as travelling to my other appointments, in all of which he was unifonnly well received. After a year's probation in this capacity, he was duly recommended by the May Dis- trict Meeting, to be received on trial as a preacher into our Conference. During the years of his probation, the Lord continued to smile upon him, and bless his labour ; all of which time he was appointed to labour with myself. At the Confei-enoe of 1867, held in the city of Hamilton, he was received into full connexion, and ordained by the Rev. J. Elliott, President of the Conference. I shall have occa- sion to enlarge on this point in its proper place. Bro. Kajipelle continued to labour in Preston with some degree of success. After a time he thought it desirable to hold a quarterly meeting, and so I was called upon to ad- minister tho Lord's Supper. We had a very good time, and after thti service, ten persons gave their names, whom I received on trial. These ten fonned the first society there, and I am thankful to say that eight of them continue faithful to this day. Still, we had no church, and Bro. Kappelle wasi afi*aid to commence one without funds. " Never mind the funds," said I, " the work is the Lord's, and He will provide the funds." 173 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF Although I am neither a prophet, nor, as far as I know, the son of a prophet, yet I have often had occasion to won- der at some almost prophetic utterances, which, with full confidence in God, I was then enabled to make. Sure enough, .the Lord in this case also opened up our way. It was in this wise : — In my travels through Waterloo county, I had become acquainted with a Mr. Hespeler, a very wealthy German gentleman, residing in the village of New Hope, now called Hespeler, after his name. When paying him my first visit, I told him my object was to preach to the Germans of his village (for it is nearly all his own), and tried to enlist his sympathies in my behalf. I did not expect a very favour- able reception. Contrary to my expectation, however, he became at once interested in the object of my visit, and gave me eveiy encouragement to proceed. He even pro- mised that if we would gather together a congregation in Preston, which was sadly neglected at that time, he would give us the best building-lot he owned in that vil- lage for a church. I cordially thanked him for his liberal offer, and took a note of it. Now was the time to avail myself of it. When Bro. Kappele was going round, first trying to buy an old out-of-the-way building, and next thinking seriously of the desirability of a new church in some central location, I bethought myself of Mr. Hespeler's offer, and we went up to Hespeler village to see him. When we had stated the object of our visit, he immediately took down a map of the village of Preston, and said — " Here, gentlemen, these are my lots ; choose which ever you please." We selected a very eligible comer-lot, close to the public school, and worth, at least, one hundred dollars, of which REV. CHARLES FREBHIIAK. 173 ho gavo us a freo deod ; an example of generosity which proves that he lias, at any rate, a generous disposition, and, I would fain hope, a heart not altogether unsusceptible of receiving saving impressions from that gospel whose pro- gress he, in this case, so materially aided. Mr. Hespeler has ever since evinced a very friendly feeling towards us, and I hope the Lord may bless him with salvation, for with this world's goods he is already sufficiently endowed. As we had now the lot, we required funds to commence build- ing. In this, our friends in Hamilton assisted us very materially ; but our friends in Montreal did nobly ; so that we soon had the satisfaction of seeing the building com- menced, which is now an ornament to the village. And not an ornament merely ; for three tiniife on each Sabbath its bell is heard summoning congregations of devout and at^ tentive worshippers within its walls ; and, I trust, good seed has already been sown throughout its sacred precincts, which will bring forth fruit unto everlasting life. Although I had now several appointments in charge, the Macedonian cry, " Come over and help us," was again re- peated in another direction. The Rev. Mr. Fawcett, who was then in charge of the St. George Circuit, informed me of a number of Germans in and around that village. I visited them, and gave out for an appointment the next Sabbath evening. My appointments for the Sabbath now were : Hamilton in the morning ; Dundas at half-past one ; Sheffield at half-past four ; and St. George at half-past seven. To preach four times on a Sabbath was nothing unusual for me in those days. I scarcely know whether the work was harder for myself or my horse. Many of the brethren, and especially Brother Fawcett, inclined to sympathize more with my horse than myself, and often would predict for it 174 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP I an oarljr grave. I thouglit at that time with Henry Ward Beocher, that " horses were made to go ;" and certainly I allowed mine the full benefit of my opinion. But, after all their sage predictions, it still lives, after accompanying me over more thousands of miles than I am able to count. It is to-day munching its hay with as much satisfaction as if nothing had happened ; and it is my opinion that it will never die while it sees anything before it to sustain its life. I feel an amount of affection for the faithful companion of my travels, which must be my excuse for introducing it in this place, and I hope it may long live to sliare in my trials and successes ; and, when finally it is no more, that some liberal-minded Christian, such as some I have named, may find it in his heart toliarnish me with a better one to sup- ply its place ! I was now, with the assistance of my son, able to attend these new appointments regularly. I soon discovered that God was preparin » some of the people of St. George to give their hearts to him. In order to follow the indications of the Spirit of God, I announced for a series of protracted meetings, to commence immediately. To be present at this meeting, I set out from Hamilton on the 2nd of January, 18G2, a day which is remembered by many on account of its extreme coldness. My wife and family urged me not to go, for it was piercing cold ; but I felt it was my duty ; and when they -mw I was resolved they commenced to weep bitterly, for they were sure I would be frozen to death on the way. But there was the appointment announced for me, and I always considered it would be a sin to disappoint an expectant congregation ; and I am thankful to say that, whatever other crimes I may be guilty of, that is not one of thera, and on this occasion I could not be recreant to a prin- REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 175 ciple. Su biTiiikiug tliroiigh tlio iiifluenco of tlieir toars aiul cntroiiti(;H, I loft my family, and, trusting in God, faced tlio storm. It was good sleighing, and my pony started off briskly as usual ; but tho stock of heat I had laid in before I left homo soon became exhausted, and before 1 reached Dundas I was so stiif that I could hardly get out of the cutter, and wsis fain to stop at Brother Whiting's to warm myself. Mi-s. Whiting kindly got mo somotJiing hot to drink, not whiskey or brandy, but something a vast deal better, — " a cup wliich cheers but not inebriates." She also warmed my clothes, and soon restored me to my normal condition, but was greatly surprised when 1 told her I was going on to St. George. Mrs. Whiting expostulated with me, but in vain. I was soon again in my cutter ; and from that time till I reached St. George, I never met a human being, nor beheld a living thing : all I saw was a poor dog, laid by the road-side — ^frozen to death. I began to be almost insensible myself and my hands were so Ijenumbed with cold that I was utterly unable to hold the reins. I thought my eyes must be frozen, for they became very painful ; but my horse, which had been often over the ground before, went merrily on, independent of my guidance ; and when at last I arrived in St. George, I was so stiff and insensible that I could not move a limb, and had to be assisted out of the cutter. The good people of the house where I stopped were very kind to me, and soon ^ *• me warm and comfortable again. I never had occasion to regret this exposure, for the Lord abundantly rewarded me for my venturing to trust I-fim. As soon as the good pe 3plo heard that I had come sucli a distance on such a day, they said to one another : — 176 AUTODIOORAPnY OP I i " Now wo bolievo that ho lovoe us, and is intleod inter- ested in our welfare." Tlie whole neighl)Ourhood rallied to the meeting; and that very Sabbath the Lord poured out his Holy Spirit upon them, and many were convinced of sin. I remained with them a few days, preaching every evening ; and on the third night God was graciously pleased to convert every soul in the congregation, except one family, and they were very bigoted Lutherans. All those who were then converted continued to witness a gootl confession ; some of them have now fallen asleep; and I hope to greet every one of them on the " banks of deliverance." Brother Fawcett rejoiced with me in the presence of the people, and mag- nified the Lord for his great mercy towards them. A class was immediately formed, with Brother Shupe as the leader. His piety and devotion to God eminently qualified him for this position, and under his guidance they grew strong in the Lord and established in the faith. One poor sinner, who had been a great drunkard, and very degraded, found peace at that meeting, and became so happy that he used to kneel down even in the street, and shout the praises of God ; and, about a year after, died triumphant in the faith one 3 delivered to the saints. Although this was a fine, rich old country, with good roads in all directions intersecting it, yet even here no one seemed to care for the souls of these poor Germans until our church opened the way. Others then became interested immediately. The Rev. Dr. D , a Baptist minister, came along and congratulated the people on having found the Messiah; and, from pure kindness of heart, no doubt, further advised them in reference to their duty, and of coiQ-se had to ride liis hobby, " dipping under water." The REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 177 gocxl peoplo, however, felt no inclination to bo dipped under the ice, and told hiui that their pnjacher recommendt^d the baptism of the Holy Spirit, which they believed they had experienced ; but he persisted in his efforts to draw them to his view of the matter, imtil some of them became weaned enough. The Lutheran minister from Preston, also, now began to prick up his ears. He never would come to preach to them except they gave him four dollars for every sermon ; but he now reduced the fare to three ; and finding that even this was not likely to be forthcoming, he still further reducetl his charge to the very moderate fee of one York-shilling a-piece from those who came to hear him. This, I think, brought him about three York-shillings for his sermon, which, after all, was, I believe, more than it was worth . except, indeed, it was intended to be used to supersede "Mrs. "Winslow's Soothing Syrup." Our members continued steadfast, and were not to be moved either by the dipping of the one or the scolding of the other. We had now two classes — one in Hamilton, the other in St. George — the members in both of which places gave satisfactory evidence, by their godly life and conversa- tion, that they had been with Jesus. These blessed results encouraged me to go on, surmounting opposition and obsta- cles of various kinds ; for well I knew who it was who had promised, "in due season ye shall reap, if ye faint not." Two very remarkable conversions occurred in Hamilton, which I deem worthy of special mention in this narrative. The first was a Mr. S , a very intelligent German gen- tleman ; but, like too many others, his intelligence had only m^pi him more familiar with objections against the religion of the Bible, than attentive to its sacred truths. I never 8» 178 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF could induce him to conio to clmrch until after the death of his oldest son. During his illness, I visited him, and was oven allowed to pray at his bedside. As there was no hope of his recovery, the parents were very much stricken on account of his illness, and in anticipj^tion of his death, but still did not V ow where to look for consolation in their affliction. Tli youth gradually sunk under the disease, until death put a period to his sufferings, I was away from home at the time, preaching in Water- loo county. As soon as I returned I visited the bereaved parents, but found only the mother at home. I tried to console her for her great loss, and pointed her to the loving Saviour, who does not afflict willingly, nor grieve the chil- dren of men. She seemed much aflfected, and desired that I should converse with her husband, whom, she informed me, I should probably find at Mr. Palm's, (a hotel keeper). I went there to see him, and sympathize with him. I again invited him to come to church ; but knowing how difficult it is to get men of his stamp to come for the first time, I promised I would pre^lch a funeral sermon on the occasion of his son's death, the next Sabbath, if he would come. This was a nail in a sure place. He seemed much pleased, and promised he would come. According to promise, both he and his wife were present when Sabbath came. The Lord gave me liberty in preacliing, and I tried to impress, especi- ally on the minds of the bereaved parents, the necessity of experiencing a change of heart, which I was fully persuaded they as yet knew nothing about. All the time I was preach- ing, I believed God would convert their souls ; and, to the glory of His Name be it spoken ! I was not disap- pointed. During the sermon, I saw them frequently moved to tears. REV. C1IARLES FRESHMAN. 17Q After tyiis, thoy camo regulsirly to cliurcli, but were not yet couveHed. Wo tlion started a protracted mooting, and soon liad the shout of a king in our camp, and several rejoicing in the knowledge of sins forgiven. But Mr. S , although awakened and struggliDg hard for pardon, still found no peace to his troubled soul. On a certain evening, however, after the congregation had been dismissed, and it was now far on in the night, Mr. S remained ; and so great was his mental anguish, that he declared he would not leave the place. "For," said he "I am an unpardoned, lost sinner! If mercy is for mo, I must have it to-niglit ! " " Tlien," said I, '' wo will remain here with you, and pray for you. In the meantime, pi*ay mightily for your- self ; and look up to (.iod with unwavering faith for a pre- sent panlon." My son, and several of the brethren, remained with me in earnest supplication, till alx)ut midnight, when the Lord was plejused to reveal himself, and set liis soul at liberty. He never afterwards doubted ; and no one who had inter- course with him had reason to doubt the reality of the change that then took place. His wife, also, has since given her heart to Gotl ; and they now travel hand in hand together towards that bright land, where, I trust, by-and-by, wlien their labour is accomplished, they will meet their dear son, who has gone before, and that Saviour who — " Reaches out the glorious crown, And bids them take the prize." But the conversion of the other was still more remarkable, and more satisfactory also ; for he has since gone to his re- 180 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP ward, and bo forever beyond the possibility of falling, and beyond the roach of the wiles of the devil and the seduc- tions of wicked men. He was a Mr. D , a tailor by trade, but a perfect slave to diink. I visited him frequently; and whether drunk or sober when I called, he would always promise to do better, and come to church. But the poor man seemed to have lost all control over his own will, for I verily believe he many times despised himself on account of his degradar tion ; but as often as a new temptation would arise, however Blight, he was away again — forgetful of his fair promises and good resolutions, and wallowing in the mire as deep as ever. I often prayed for him, and I believe the Spirit of God fol- lowed him. On a certain Monday morning I went to visit him, and enquire the reason of his absence from church on the pre- vious Sabbath. I found him at home, but a most pitiable spectacle. His head bound up with bandages ; • his face covered over with wounds and bruises, which he appeared to have received in a recent brawl. I enquired how all this had happened, but received no reply. " I am very sorry to see you thus," said I ; " but surely this would never have happened, if, as you promised me, you hod been to church yesterday." In this I was quite correct ; for I ascertained that it was on that very Sabbath, while neglecting its sacred duties, with s me drunken companions, in e neighbouring tavern, he had received those wounds and bruises. " Oh ! Mr. D ," said I, " come, be a man ! Look at your pocr wife, clad in rags, and your starving children. You have a good trade, and could, if you chose, keep them BEY. CHARLFS FKESHMAIf. 181 respectably. Why not take the money which you spend ill the taverns, and buy bread and clothing for your poor wife and children "i What ever will become of you and them ? Besides, think of your poor soul, for which Christ died ; what will become of it if you continue in your pre- sent course of dissipation 1" Scarcely had I iflentioned the Saviour, and alluded to his sufferings and death, when his eyes suffused with tears. I asked him to allow me to pray with and for him ; but he exclaimed, more like despair than anything I had before witnessed : — " O, I am such a lost, undone sinner ; God will never listen to your prayers for such a miserable wretch as I." I howdVer knelt dovm and fervently implored the grace of Grod, which bringeth salvation, to appear unto him. He seemed most wretched, scarcely daring again to promise to do better, so often had he broken that pledge ; but I dis- covered in him a settled purpose to seek the blessing of God, and lead a different life. From that time he gave up drinking altogether, and his place was rarely vacant in the sanctuary of God, on Sabbath or week evening. After a time it pleased the Lord to pardon his sins, and he became a most devoted and active member of the church. He lived very close to God, and every one who saw him after his conversion, was constrained to acknowledge that no power but that of God was capable of effecting such a change as was exemplified in his life. He became one of the most pious and exemplary men I ever knew among the Germans. A class was entrusted to his care, many of whose members can attest how near he lived to God, and how he stimulated them, by precept and example, to entire consecration to His service. But liis wai-fare was soon to be accomplished. 182 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP For over a year he let his liglit shine, and so bright was the halo cast around his path, that it was feared he would soon be removed to illumine the courts above. This fear was too soon verified ; he was prostrated on a bed of sick- ness, from which he never rose again. When the physi- cians had given up all hopes of his recovery, the good brother was heard to say : — • " Thanks be to God, that, in his righteous judgment. He did not cut me down in my sins, when a poor, rebellious profligate ! I do not fear to die ! My Saviour, I long to be with thee ! Glory to God, I'm going home !" A short time after this, he said to me, taking my hand in his : — " Bro. Freshman, sing * I'm going home !'" We did so, and also prayed with him ; and i "as about midnight when we left him to return to our abode. Truly it was the house of God ; and I think I never was nearer the gate of heaven, tliM i when in that poor man's dying chamber. The next day was Friday. In the afternoon I was sent for, to come to hun, as he was thought to be dying. I found him exulting in his Saviour ; perfectly conscious that he was passing away As soon as he saw me, he said, with- out the least tinge of sadness in his tone : — " Brother, I will not be with you on Sunday any more j you will lead my class, for I shall spend my next Sabbath in heaven." He then called his wife and children around his dying bed, and in their presence, said to me : — " Oh ! Bro. Freshman, try to watch over my children, and see tliat they all grow up in our faith." REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 183 ould fear sick- liysi- good b, He llious Qg to hand about Truly nearer , dying as sent iig. I |us that with- r more ; 5a ,bbath dying hildren, He then ombraccd them, one by one, and gave them hia blessing, charg-ing them to meet him in heaven. Just then the clock struck five. He enquired what time it was. When told the hour, he replied — " In another hour I shall be with my Saviour, in glory for evermore." He lifted up his hands, and seemed to pray. 1 said : — "Bro. Dapp, you are on your journey home; is your Saviour still precious ?" " Yes," he replied ; " precious, precious ! Blessed be His holy Name for ever ! Glory ! glory ! glory !" he continued. And with the language of heaven still on his lips, and a sweet and placid smile lighting up his countenance, his spirit burst its fettered bonds, and returned unto God who gave it. Never before had I witnessed so triumphant a death-bed, and if the whole of my ministry had resulted in nothing else than the tviumphant salvation of that soul, I would consider my life well spent. My own soul was greatly encouraged ; and, all who were present and witnessed the last hours of this saintly man, were built up in their most holy faith, and encouraged to proceed with more unwearied zeal in the divine life. All praise and glory be ascribed to God for the marvellous power gf his blessed gospel ! We all mourned his death, and felt his loss very keenly. Especially did his class miss his pious counsels and his godly example, and it seemed as if they never could have his loss repaired. But the Lord's ways are not our ways, and while he buries His workman, He carries on His work. However humbling it may be to our minds, I believe the world could do without any one of us, and God could raise up men to fill our places, who would do our work, perhaps, 184 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP better than wo can do it. At any rate, another class-leader was provided for us, in the following manner : — When I was returning from the Quebec Conference, by steamboat, we stopped at Prescott, where a number of German emigrants had just arrived by train, and were awaiting the arrival of our boat, in order to take passage for the United States. They were soon crowded on board when I went down among them, and commenced to con- verse with some of them in their own language. The poor neople crowded around me on all sides, and asked me all sorts of questions about the country ; its climate, soil, popu- lation, &c. Among them, I particulary observed one man, whose manners and conversation were of a different stamp from that of the others. I immediately became interested in him ; and in conversing with him, soon discovered that he was a truly converted person, and had long enjoyed religion in the old country. I found him anxious to settle somewhere where he could enjoy religious privileges among other blessings ; but he did not know where they were to be found. , After some further conversation with them, I asked per- mission of the captain to preach to them. To this he had no objection ; so, taking my New Testament, and inviting some of my ministerial brethren* to accompany me, I went down again, and calling them together, told them I was going to hold a religious service for their benefit. " O," said Mr. Andrew (for this was the name of t^ie per- son whom I have mentioned as being converted), " that will be quite refreshing to us, for we have not heard the gospel preached since we left Germany." * Ministers returning from Conference also. REV. CHARLES PRESHMAV. 185 I commenced i ho service by prayer ; and after reading a chapter, told them how the Lord had converted my own soul, reminding them that He had the same great blessing in store for them. He had shown his love for them by preserving them from the dangers of the ocean, and bring- ing them safely to land. But He had yet a higher method of testifying this love, even by the gift of his Son to die for them, and they might all be brought, after the tempestuous voyage of life, to land in the Eden above. After the service, a gi-eat many of them came to me, and asked me where I lived, expressing, at the same time, a gi'eat desire to settle in the same place. The result was, that about twelve persons, among whom were Bro. Andrew and his son, who was then about seventeen years old, came with me, and settled in Hamilton, where most of them were soon after converted to God, through the instrumentality of His preached word. Bro. Andrew was appointed a class- leader, in the place of the late Mr. Dapp, and by his piety and devotion, soon won the affections of the people, and was as much beloved as his predecessor had been. His son, also, became truly converted, and a very exemplary young man. When his father had removed from Hamilton, he took his class, and is now, in the providence of God, preaching the gospel as a co-labourer with my son, on the Waterloo Mission. But it must not be inferred from these examples, that all the people with whoitn I had dealings were converted, and became exemplary .charactei'S. Every picture has two sides, and my experiouce has not always been to view the brightest. By way ( f contrast with the above, let me here give an example of another class of men with whom I have had to do. 186 AUTOBIOOUAPIIY OF A certain Mr. S — d lived at this time in Hamilton. Ho was an intelligent man, and very well educated. I had sometimes conversed with him, but could never induce him to come to church. At last I had the pleasure of seeing both him and his wife at our church. After service he expressed himself greatly delighted with, and profited by the sermon. After that he came regularly to church, not only on the Sabbath, but on week-evenings to the jiitiycr- nieeting. This encouraged both Dr. Nast (who was then with us) and myself, to entertain great hopes of the man, and give him every encoiu*agement. He continued to attend, and things went en very nicely for several weeks — I, meantime, finding him plenty of employment among the friends in Hamilton. This pleased him exceedingly, and the more work I procured for him, the more he praised my sermons — a faculty which is usually supposed to belong of exclusive right to the natives of a certain British island, wliich shall here be nameless. This is a mistaken idea. This man had as much " blarney," when I got him a job to do, as if he had licked the very stone which is invested by tradition with thu power of giving the tongue full command of all those pretty nothings which are called in English — *' compliments." I never like to hear a man flatter my ser- mons while he remains unawakened and unconverted by them ; and so I began to have the faintest possible shadow of mistrust of this man. Still, J hoped for the best, and was careful to do all in my power to assist him. It hap- pened, however, that his wife, who was a dressmaker, took it into her head to have a sewing-machine. I wish she had kept it there, and never let it come out. But " Woman " has an influence, — as Mr. Stephenson beautifully shows in his REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 187 lecture on that subject ; and this woman gained hor point. Her liege lord came to me, and, after acquainting me with his wife's desire, solicited my assistance. 1 went with him without hesitation to the place where a variety of them might be procured, from among which he chose one, for which I promised the payment in four months, as Mr. S — d had said he would be sure to pay punctually. The first payment he met promptly ; but as to the other three, I had to borrow the money from the late Samuel Cann, Esq., to pay two of them, as he had none on hand to meet them. At the end of the foi;r months, I went to him, and remon- strated with him about his dereliction, but he declared he had not the money. " Well," said I, " you surely do not expect me to meet those payments for you? I fear I shall lose the money, after all, which I have bon-owed for you. If you were an honest man, you would try to meet your own obligations." When he saw that I was in earnest about the matter, he said : — " Well, I suppose if you cannot do it, I will have to ; but you may be sure of one thing, — ^you will never see me in your church any more ! " Poor man, thought I, so at last you appear in your true colours, and I have been deceived so long ! But he only pronounced his own doom, for in a short time afterwards he was taken ill with a mortal disease, and, after lingering about four months, died a most horrible death. Dr. Nast and I went to see him once during his illness, and prayed with him, still hoping for his recovery. But it was not to be. He passed away to meet his doom in great agony of body. It may be that the Lord, who is rich in mercy, had compassion upon him in the hour of his extremity; but I 188 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP never wish to see any of my friends die as did this man ; for, to say the least, he liad not a " sure and certain hope of a glorious resurrection." In connection with this I remember to have received a useful lesson from the Rev. Dr. Rice, to this effect : — Never induce a person to come to church by promises of temporal assistance, for if a man is actuated by no higher motive than that, there is no hope of his salvation ; and in order to retain him even in your congi-egation, you must keep con- tinually assisting him in some way. — In after times, I have proved the truth of this ; for I have met with many such c?ses, both among Jews and Gentiles. His advice, however well intended, I am sorry to say was not acted upon at the time. I was always too confiding and trustful ; but now, with Cowper, I can say — "I, too, have seen, Much of the evil ways of men, And grieved for having seen 'em ! " The remainder of this stanza* I cannot adopt, as I think my head is worth more than a jackdaw's; but I am sorry I did not profit by Dr. Rice's larger experience from the first, as it would often have saved me from many difficulties, and preserved the contents of my purse for more worthy purposes. From the spiritual concerns of our church, as detailed above, let us now turn to its temporal interests. * "Would cheerfully these limbs resign, For such a pair of wings as thine, And such a head between 'em !'* CHAPTER XII. Collect for the Hamilton Church — Specimens of Givers —Meet one Refusal — Sanctification and the Calf — Opposition from the Lutherans — Anselm Schuster — Miss P 's Conversion and Fall — Mr. Sandford — German Sunday Schools — Deceived and Persecuted by a Jesuit — Also, by one H , a Jew — Mr. Tomsky — His Courtship and Marriage — Moral — Quebec and Toronto Conferences — Brother Kappelle is Ordained — Reply to Bishop Colenso — Write to my Relatives in Hungary — Their Rejection of me — A Fashionable Lutheran Female — Singular Conversion of a Rich Jew, from Berlin, My principal business, since I became a minister, I have always considered to be, to preach the gospel and labour for the salvation of souls ; but I have often had to labour in another capacity, — on behalf of the temporal interests of churches with which I have been connected. Our church in Hamilton — although noble efforts had been made when it was built to pay for it — was still encumbered with con- siderable debt. This, by dint of lectui-ing, collecting, &c., I had the satisfa *on soon of seeing entirely removed. I had a fine opportunity, on these collecting excursions, of observing human nature, and moralising on the spiritual condition of some church members, as evinced by their donations. I believe the best way for a minister to ascer- tain the spiritual condition of the members of his flock, is to take a subscription paper among them. Some he would find " not at home " every day in the week — if they knew 190 AUTOBIOOBAPUY OF he was coming ! Others would meet liim with smiles ; banter him, in a serio-comic sort of a way, about his beg- ging propensities ; detain him half-an-honr with some kind of gossip ; read over his subscription-list from beginning to end ; and then give him — twenty-five cents ! Others you will find of a vinegar aspect, who look upon you as a necessary evil, which they must endure just as they would the bailiff when he comes, but seem to think it desirable to get rid of you as quickly and cheaply as pos- sible. They dole out their pittance with the air of a man who would say, — " There ! I have placed you under ever- lasting obligations to me, and I hope I shall never see your face again on a similar errand." Some you will find who would give four or five dollars any day, if they thought their names and donations would be published ; but if there is never to be any more heard or said about it, they become poor widows or widowers imme- diately, with all kinds of hard times before and behind them, and have only a mite to give you. • Then, there is the man who will enter into your business with a gusto, is deeply interested in a moment, and will promise you any amount ; but when you come to collect it, you must hire a little boy to do the dunning for you. Then, there is that generous creature, who will give to every subscription, for whatever the object, but is careful to keep the amount of his givings, in this way, out of his minister's salary at the end of the year. The Lord have mercy upon such little souls ! But I must not fail to commend that class of givers from principle, who, if they approve your object and can afford to assist you, will do it in a moment, cheerfully, disinterestedly, and just to the extent to which they feel they can afford it REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 191 ^ill to to his kave [•om to Idly, kit — bo that only five conts, or Ix) it five hundi'eil Hollars. Not like some who uniformly give twenty-five cents to every- thing, neither more nor less. This they litive done for twenty years, more or loss prosperous or adverse, and they have no idea of either rising or failing. All these kinds of people, and others too numerous to mention, I used to moot on my collecting expeditions in bo- half of our Church in Hamilton. But diverse as were their dispositions, their manner of receiving me, and their dona- tions, I never was refused but by two persons, and one of these a respectable and wealthy man. I hapi^ened one day to b(3 in his company, with my sub- scription book in my pocket. Two other persons were pro- sent, and he, in conversation, made a statement to this effect : — " fcieveral years ago, when I came to this country, I was very poor, and what is woi-se, without a knowledge of true religion. But now I have a fine farm, -with good out- buildings; owe no man anything, and best of all, I bless God that I enjoy religion." This, til ^ht 1, is the very man to assist mo, and this tho very nick of time to present my book, when his heart is warm with gratitude to God. But imagine my surprise when, on handing him my book, he all at once became as poor as he had been twenty years before. He had met with shoii crops and losses, and his stock had depreciated in value, prices of farm produce low, had barely enough to do to live, and in fine, handed me back the book, with the polite refusal — " I am sorry I can do nothing for you." Tliere is another story, which one of our leading ministers is very fond of telling at missionary meetings, and which, I believe, he professes to have come under his own experience I 192 AUTOfilOQRAPUY OF when a young man; and as it illuhtiates another pliaso of clioractor, T am tempted here to insert it. It ia that of a rich farmer, who professed the enjoyment of sanctification for a number of years. So full was ho of his theme, that when any pious j)erHon visited him, he would talk of nothing else but sanctification. But especially when any person came to visit him with a subscription paper, he would talk so constantly on this subject while they were present, and often prevent them from stating the object of their visit at all. So many of our zealous missionary collectors had been treated in this manner, that at last they refused to visit him any more, and the minister had to take him in hands. Call- ing upon him on day, in company with another person, the minister began to approach the subject which had brought him to see him, and he began, as usual, to talk about sancti- fication. The minister listened courteously for a while, and at last said : — " My time is limited and I must be off. Shall I have the pleasure of getting your subscription." "Well," said he, "the fact is, these are hard times. "Wo farmers are always subject to such heavy losses and misfor- tunes, that we find it difficult to give when we would." "Only think," continued he, " I had a fine calf, which was very valuable ; its mother I brought out from England, at great expense, and bestowed a great deal of care in rearing it. It gave a great deal of promise until it was a year and a half old, when it suddenly sickened and died. And when a person is liable to such losses as that, he cannot always give what he would wish." " But," said the minister, " How long ago is it since your calf died ?" REV. C1IARLE3 FRESHMAN. 193 the Tliis was a poser, as ho intoiHlocl it Hhoultl bo, for lio liad lioard that tho man was accustomod to evado every subeorip- tion wliich was presented, for tho last eight or ten years, by tho calf story. So, covered with blushes, instead of answer- ing tho pointed question, ho asked for tlio subscription-book, with tho remark, "I suppose I shall havo to give you a little, after all." Tho gi'eater part of what I collected for tho church was contributed by our own people.* The ministers of our own denomination were always very free to assist me, and used their influence with their own congregations in my behalf; and in this manner the burden of tho debt was removed, and I was, as I then thought, done with tho dis- agreeable business of collecting; for, after all — when one meets with every encouragement — it is not the most desir- able occupation, and I hope none of my children will ever adopt it as a profession. But i was not yet done with it, as I soon realized. After I had been removed to Preston, I had to begin the old business afresh; but 1 must not anticipate. Tho work of tho Lord continued to spread, and, as a con- Boquenco, violent opposition was tho result. The Lutherans everywhere spoke against us. Thtir preachers publicly de- nounced me as an imposter — hypocrite — Pharisee ; said I was servin ohe church for the sake of my salary ; and, in short, did all in their power to hinder the people even from coming to hear me preach. give your * The subscription -list was headed by Edward Jackson, Esq. , of ITamilton, with tho liberal sum of opo hundred dollars. His good lady, besides giving a liberal donation, laid the foundatiou-stone of our church. 194 autowoohapiiy op On a certain occasion I met one of the Lutheran preachers, and, in conversing with him, he said to me : — " I think that as we were already here, there was no need for yon Methodists." "Well," said I, "if you were here so long, will you tell me what good you have done ? Why, the most of your members are Sabbath-breakers ! In the morning, perhaps, you will find them at church, and some of them even dare to take the holy sacrament ; and in the afternoon you will fi^d them in the taverns, drinking and playing cards, and in the evening dancing. Are these your specimens of converted members? Is this the religion of Jesus Christ? or even of Martin Luther 1 Far from it ! " said I. " * Ye must be bom again !' " And so I left him to bis own reflections. Wishing, if possible, to make some capital out of this in- terview, he told his congregation next Sabbath, with a great flourish of trumpets, how ho had used up the Jew — meaning myself. Poor man 1 thought I, he little knows what ho is talk- ing about ; for while ho may now afiect to hoi ! the Jews in contempt, he surely is not ignorant that the first originators of Christianity were Jews ; that Jesus Christ himself was a Jew, and if it had not been for the Jews he might have been a heathen. I, however, bear no malice against any of them. The worst I wish them is, that they may all speedily become more like Luther, whose footsteps they profess t^ follow. About this time I received a letter from a young man, by the name of Anselm Schuster, a school-teacher at the time, in which, after stating that the Lord had converted his soul, he affirmed his belief that the Lord had called him to preach the gospel, and he felt a strong desire to labour among the Germans. I wrote to liim in answer, that I could sec no REV. CHARLES PRBSUMAIT. 195 1' I by le, ful, 3h the no immediate opening in which to employ him, but if the Lord had called him to work in His vineyard, He would open up his way. Soon after, he gave up his school and came to k- side in Hamilton, earning his bread by the labour of his hands, and proving, by his daily life and deportment, that he was a pious and truly converted Jew. He was then bap- tized by Dr. Rice, and as soon as an opening presented, he was received on trial as a preacher. He now labours with Bro. Kappelle among the Germans on the Ottawa mission, and thus far the Lord has been pleased to own his labours in the conversion of souls. May he grow in grace day by day, and in the knowledge and love of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ ! Among others converted at the last protracted meeting in the German church, Hamilton, was a fine young lady — a Miss P— — , daughter of the before-mentioned Mr. P . She continued faithful for more than a year, and shone as a luminary in our church ; but after a time her love began to wax cold. She became acquainted with an unconverted, worldly man, and was married to him. After this, she never came to our church again ; but I never lost sight of her, and often yearned for her return to the fold. This I was not to see, for an accident which she met with a short time after terminated fatally. As she and her husband were returning one day from a pic-nic, a short distance out of the city, as they were crossing the railway track their carriage was overturned by the train, and she was instantly kUled. I was glad to learn that her mother, and some of her friends, had hope in her death. It would have given my own mind a great deal more satisfaction if she had con- tinued in the enjoyment of her first love. But I know that God, who is rich in mercy, has a mansion in glory for every 196 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP > /!' I one who repents of their sins, and continues to maintain their confidence steadfast unto the end. I like to exercise the largest amount of charity in the case of all ; and I hope she also is safe home in heaven ; but I know that " godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." I have not the least doubt that, had she continued faithful to her God, she might have been alive at this day, and perhaps instru- mental, by her godly walk and example, in " turning many from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God." But while the piety of some was thus shown to be as the morning cloud and the early dew which passeth away, that of others, — aiid, thanks be to God ! many others, — seemed grounded firmly on the Rock of Ages. I took encourage- ment from this fact, and also from the fact that we had some English friends who took a deep interest in our work, and encouraged us by their presence and counsels. Among these, Mr. Sandford, of Hamilton, deserves especial mention. He evinced a great deal of interest in the German work in general, and in the Sabbath-school in particular, which he frequently visited, and encouragingly assisted us on various occasions, by his counsels, his gifts to the children, and his donations generally to the funds of the school. 1 mention him in particular, because of his interest in that department which is too much neglected by our church members. Some day I believe it will be ascertained that he who labours in the Sabbath-school — especially a German Sabbath-school — or does anything to promote its interests, has contributed more to the interests of the church, than he who, by his faithful admonitions from the sacred desk, is successful in converting sinners ', for I hold, him to be a wise man who first gavo REV CHARLES FRESHMAN , 197 utterance to the proverb, " Prevention is Ijetter than cure." And if, as political economists inform us, "he is to bo counted a wise man who causes two blades of grass to grow where only one grew before," that wisdom belongs in a pre- eminent degree to the man or woman who promotes the work of God by assisting the Sabbath-school. I have said especially a German Sabbath-school, and I now give my reasons : — because, in a German Sabbath-school, we get the children of parents whom we never could reach by our preaching — the children of parents who are deeply tinctured with some of the double-refined essences of infidelity, which prevails to an alarming extent among the Germans. The parents are glad enough to send them ofi" to Sabbath-school, or anywhere else, where they may be out of the way. We get them, and accomplish a triple purpose : First, We keep them away from home during that part of the Sabbath when they would be most likely to drink in the poison of their parents' conversation with those visitors who may drop in to have a talk ; Secondly, We keep them away from the streets, where they would be found desecrating the Sab- bath, and acquiring bad habits ; and, TJiirdly, We teach them the purest doctrines of the Bible, which are able to save their souls. A child educated in the Sabbath-sckool can never become an infidel, no matter how rank the creed of its parents may be ; and how often are those children the means of the conversion of their parents ! All this, it is true, is applicable to English Sabbath-schools, but in a much less degree ; for there is not one-fiftieth of the infidelity among the English, in proportion to their numbers, that we find among the Germans, nor is there the same carelessness in regard to the education of their children. The children of English parents will usually get some kind of religious -^if I 198 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP instruction whether they go to Sabbath-school or not ; but German children, or most of them, may grow like "Topsy" in " Uncle Tom's Cabin" — in ignorance of what they are, or whither they are destined. Wesleyan Methodist Sabbath-schools are yet in their in- fancy, but it is my opinion that when those children who are now being educated in them, become men and women, they will exert a mighty moral force on society around them, which will make the strongholds of error of all kinds quiver to their very foundations. The Lutheran Sabbtth- Bchools rock them to sleep with a doctrine more soothing than their mothers* lullaby ; and when they are thus afeleep, the first monster of error that comes along gobbles them up into his capacious maw. It is because I feel the importance of this subject I have thus dwelt upon it, and mention the name of Mr. Sandford — not only out of gratitude to him, but w^ith a view to stimulate others to follow his noble and useful example. And just in proportion to my admiration for the men who are thus found devoting themselves to its service, is my impatience with, — ^my almost contempt for, — those, some of whom I have found in Preston, who seem willLng to compass heaven and earth in order to destroy it. To their own master let them stand or fall ! Everything went on very nicely in Hamilton, with the exception of a little reproach which I had to suffer for righteousness' sake, but which I did not mind at all while the Church of God prospered. There was no fear of me, however, incurring that woe which is threatened against us, when all speak well of us. I was yet, however, to pass through a more bitter experience than ever before. A cer- tain Jesuit came into our midst with recommendations from a good brother, and desired to connect himself with our REV, CHARLES FRESHMAN. 199 cliurch. Ho gave me to understand that ho had exiX5rienco much to come to church. Our Pfarrer (preacher) never troubles us about it ; we may come when we please, and stay away when we please." But I thought I knew better, for her Pfarrer had no doubt been there a short time before, giving her a lecture on the evils of Methodism. This woman came the nearest to the manners of fashionable life of any that I had seen — the only difference being that she told her lies herself; whereas, some people of fashion employ their servants to do that business for them. Before I was removed from Hamilton, another Jew came to see me, who, I suppose, thought he was fully competent to converse in the English language, when the following colloquy ensued : — "Am you von conferted Jewish Rabbi?" said he. " Yes, sir," said I. " Den you haff find de Messiah ?" said he. " Yes, sir, I have," I again made answer. " Veil, den, vill you so gute be, und dell me some gwes- dyuns about de Messiah?" " I shall be most happy to do so," said I. We then entered upon the discussion of the question, I answering all his questions, and expounding various pas- sages, both from the Old and New Testament, apparently to his satisfaction ; after which, I read and prayed with him. He then came to me and said : — 208 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP " I zeo you pe one learned man ; I like you ver mooch. [ vash to zee ein Koman Catholic priest, unci he dell me I moost pe paptized, vitch me, poor Jew, tink no do my poor zoul ver mooch goot, zo I comes to zee you. You haff done me mooch goot; und now, how mooch you sharge?" I was very much surprised at his question, but simply said : — " Nothing to me, sir ; but give your heart to God." And so he left me. I know nothing more about him than that he was a rich German Jew from Berlin ; and in process of time I almost forgot the circumstance. About three years afterwards, however, my attention was directed to an article in the Christian Times, published in London, England.* This article asserted that the Rev. Wm. Taylor — the California street-preacher — had related the above- mentionixl facts at a love-feast, and the conversion of the same Jew through my humble instrumentality. The facts he had from the Jew himself, whom he had met somewhere subsequent to his conversion. All praise and glory to the Lamb ! During the remainder of my residence in Hamilton, nothing of particular interest occurred. I had, at times, great satisfaction in labouring at my ordinary work. At other times, unpleasant circumstances would occur, owing to the persistence with which persons, like some I have already descriliod, wx)uld endeuvour to injure me. But, amid it all, I believe the Lord was with me, and blessed * This article I might never have seen had my attention not been call: " / it by Mr. Miller, a prominent barrister in Gait, and an active member of the Church of England. REV. CIIARLEg FRESHMAN. 209 my labours. After I left Hamilton, I heard rumours un- favorable to my jurisdiction while there. These I have never attempted publicly to refute, as I was persuaded that if left to themselves they would die a natural death, if, in- deed they be not already dead. Many sacred recollections still cluster in my memory, connected with my Hamilton charge ; and it is almost with reluctance I turn awa^ to contemplate aiaother field of U\lK)ur. CHAPTER XIII. Bemovc to Preston — Religious Privileges of the Prestonians — Diffi- culties — Commence a United Sunday School — Opposition of the Lutheran Minister — Preach to a Crowd at a Funeral — Renewed Opposition in Consequence — Dedication of our New Church — Appointment in Paris — Extent of the Mission — Gather an English Congregation in Preston — Success in the Service — Opposition in Consequence — Again in Montreal — Misrepre- sented There — Consequences on my Return— My Dwelling Attacked — Lutheran Minister Wakes up — Comparison of the Two Churches — Rev. E. B. Harper's Visit — Disaffection of the English — English Preacher Appointed in Consequence — Scandal Against my Son — Again the Victim of Deceit — Retrenchment — Essay on Croakers. It was decided at the Toronto Conference that I should re- move to Preston, with my son as a colleague. Brother Kappelle was to take my place in Hamilton. It was with fear and trembling I contemplated the prospect of removing m.j family into the midst of a people who hated the very name of Methodist ; but I had put my hand already to the plough, and if I looked back, I felt I should not be l\t for the kingdom of heaven. It was, however, a great trial to leave the many kind and tried friends — lay and ministerial — whom I had in Hamilton, and the little flock whose infant cry had first greeted my ears, and over whose tottering footsteps I had watched with so much solicitude, and go into a strange place, where I had few friends and no sympathy, not knowing what would befall me there. But I knew who had said, " He shall choose our inheritance for REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 211 us;" and I accepted the appointment as from the Lord, and in His name moved my large family to Preston. I found a few families of English Methodigts living in and around the village, who used to attend Zion Chapel, about three miles distant, on the Berlin Circuit, as they had no English preaching nearer. It is true, the Berli^i minister used to come once in a great while and preach to a handful of people in " Hunt and Elliott's Factory," and afterwards in an old building in a remote part of the village ; but there was no regular appointment, and very little encouragement to open one. Besides these, the New Connexion minister preached to about a dozen people in the old Town Hall. A Roman Catholic priest used to come once a month, warning his small flock to beware of the Methodists; but these have since died a natural death, with no hope whatever of a resurrection. Their neat and handsome church stands as a refuge for the moles and bats, wi^^h the exception of a meeting held occasionally among themselves. The Lutheran sect was predominant. In fact they had the place almost to themselves, although their minister often had to preach to more empty benches than full ones ; but his people were all right as long as they would keep away from the Methodists. Our German cause in Preston was also very weak. We had barely ten members, and some of these were about to leave for the United States, so that our influence was very small ; in fact, we could hardly yet be said to have a foothold. The Lutheran minister was the only one who resided in Preston ; and his sympathies, so far from being with me, were all the other way. He and I have since, however, be- come very good friends. But at that time everything looked dark enough. No society for my family, none for myself, 212 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP opposition on all hands ; and, worst of all, my old friend, Robert Hunt, Esq., who had always received me hospita- bly, was on the point of removing with his family from Preston to reside in Blenheim. However, work was to be done, and my son and I com- menced in the name of the Lord, and we soon, in the pres- sure of our engagements, forgot, in a measure, our trials and privations. In addition to Preston, we also attended several other appointments in the adjacent country, within a circuit of fifteen or twenty miles. Some of these Brother Kappelle had preached in, others we opened up ourselves. The children in Preston seemed to be sadly neglected on the Sabbath-day. I found them flying their kites, rolling their hoops, playing ball, marbles, &c., in the streets and on the public common, with no one to reprove them or teach them any better. Brother Kappelle had collected a few German children, and commenced a Sunday-school, but there was none for the English children. I believe an English Sunday-school had formerly existed, which met in Mr. Hunt's factory; but when that building was burned down, the Sunday-school was dispersed, and for nearly a year they had no one to look after them or care for their souls. These English children I gathered in, and with the Germans, soon had a united school of great promise. Our few German members were so small in number, com- pared with the hosts against whom we had to contend, that I sometimes feared their hearts would fail them in tho unequal contest, but they were converted people, — and only give me truly converted people, and I am not afraid of the dovil and all his emissaries. However, it is hard work tr, advocate an unpopular cause against so much odds, and it was very difficult to persuade people to come to religious sei-vice in an IlEV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 213 obscure place, with only a handful of people, past the very door of the large and commodious Lutheran church. I, howevai*, trusted in the Lord, and awaited His time. I ex- pected better things when we should have a church for our- selves, in the middle of the town, where I might preach as often as I pleased, without let or hindrance. In the mean- time, however, we had to live by faith. In passing through the streets I was very often insulted ; even my children used to be called after publicly in the streets, and molested in different ways ; so that they became afraid to venture out of doors, except in my company. Even the Lutheran minister, instead of preaching Christ to his congregation, made use of h^'s pulpit as a rostrum from which to declaim against us, and incite his congregation to persecute us. All these things kept my congregation very small, and most of these were converted people, so that I longed for an opportunity to preach Christ, and him crucified, to sinners, and I had not long to wait. It happened that a young lad, belonging to a very respect- able family, and a member of our Sunday-school, became ill and died, when his parents invited me to officiate at his burial, and preach a funeral sermon. I knew that on such an occasion the people would attend in crowds, and I took advantage of this opportunity to inculcate upon my largo congregation the necessity of a true change of heart before they could become entitled to eternal felicity, as I believed this young boy was, for I am persuaded he was truly con- verted to God. This was a new and strange doctrine to most who were present, and as I had entirely ignored morality and good works without faith in Christ, much op- position ensued. The people were now acquainted with my doctrines, many of which they misrepresentet^ and others 214 ▲UTOBIOOBAPHT OF they ridiculed, — but none would they adopt. I felt thankful, however, that the Lord had enabled me to deal faithfully with them, which I am determined always to do— whether they will hear, or whether they will forbear. Even the few friends whom I had in Preston had very little encouragement to give me. These would say to me, — " I fear you will never accomplish anything here. So many have already made the attempt without success, that the chances are you will fare no better than they." I knew, however, that if the work was of the Lord, men could not overthrow it, and I awaited the completion of our church, which was then in progress, with some solicitude, hoping for better things. At last it was completed and dedicated to the worship of Almighty God, in the month of September. Dr. Rice, of Hamilton, predched in English, and I in German. Meanwhile we had opened an appointment in the town of Paris, where we soon had a handsome church erected, the ground for which was generously bestowed by Hiram Caperon, Esq., a gentleman belonging to the Congregational Church. This appointment being so far distant, we could only supply once every two weeks. My appointments would then be, — St. George in the morning, Paris in the afternoon, and sometimes return to Preston in time for the evening service. I also occasionally preached in Princeton. Our other regular appointments were Strasbourg, Roseville, Con- estoga, New Dundee, Doon, and several other places which we could only attend at irregular intervals. In Strasbourg we also built a church, and a few souls were converted to God, who remain faithful to the present day. May the Lord increase their number ! Our Sabbath-school in Preston increased in interest and . BET. CIIABLE8 FRESIIMAX. 215 in numbers. The German and English children united in harmony and love. I now began to hold service in the English language in the evening, for the benefit of those who had no other means of grace convenient. Crowds came to hear me, and it was soon found necessary to increase the number of pews in our church for their accommodation. Thus in spite of the enemy, the Lord worked gloriously; but the greater the amount of our success, the more the enemy raged. It was now impossible for any of us to go into the street without being publicly annoyed, if not in- sulted. People would shout after us " Yutef Yute ! Nix- come-a-rovse ;" and other silly and foolish epithets. They called our church a " Yude/i Kirche ;" and even attacked and insulted those who would come to hear me preach. The principal topic of conversation in the taverns and at the street-comers now, was — " Freshman!" In short, so violent did the opposition become, that I was repeatedly admonished not to venture out into the street at night alone. But long ago I had learned not to fear them who have power to kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. Before our first Quarterly Meeting my soul was made happy in witnessing the conversion of several precious souls, among whom was one very amiable lady, the wife of Jacob K. Erb, Esq. But we were not permitted to enjoy her society a great while, for the Lord took her to himself soon after ; but while she did live, she witnessed a good confession, and died shouting the praises of Him who loved her, and washed her from her sins in his own precious blood. **0 may I triumph so, When all my warfare's past j And dying, find my latest foe Under my feet at last." 216 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP As a considerable debt still remained on the church, I again resorted to my friends in Montreal, whose generosity I have already had occasion to mention on more than one occasion. While there I had occasion to address a public meeting, in which I gave them some account of our German work in Upper Canada, dwelling particularly on Preston and its vicinity. I simply stated facts as they really existed, and, among other things said, that the Germans all through that section of country are broken up into a number of sects, such as Lutherans, United Brethren, Old Mennonites, New Mennonites, Dunkers, Baptists, Allbrights, Swedenborgians, Roman Catholics, Rationalists, and even open Infidels. That notwithstanding this array of religious persuasions, much Sabbath-breaking was publicly practiced, and that even by some who claimed to be members of a certain church, which I claimed was a sufficient justification for me, or any one who was interested in the prosperity of Zion, to intro- duce a pure gospel amongst them, calculated, at least, to reform their morals, if not to save their souls. What was my surprise, the next morning, to see an article in the Montreal Witness, in which my speech was altogethei' misrepresented, and even some reflections cast upon the whole of the Ger- mans of Waterloo county, and statements made regarding them which I had never uttered. The same evening I met the editor of the paper at the house of Jas. A. Mathev/son, Esq., and pointed out to him the inaccuracy of the report of my address, desiring him to publish my vindication next morning, as I expressed a fear lest the Germans, when they got to hear it, would take great offence at what I was re- ported to have said. " Oh," said he, "do not trouble yourself about the article ; you know our reporters seldom give a strictly correct account REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 217 of what is said at such meetings ; and, after all, the Germans concerned will never see the paper, so that it is not worth while taking any further notice of it." Those editors have an easy way of overcoming one's scru- ples, and so I did not press the matter any farther. But my worst fears were very soon realized. Scarcely had I returned home when a "hue and cry" was raised immediately, and spread in all directions. The report of what I had been supposed to say got here as soon as I did. It travelled faster than I could do, even if I had had the "wings of the morning" to assist my progress. One German, claiming some influence in this place, undertook to publish a vindication of the Germans, in doing which, of course, he had to abuse me. For this purpose he collected all those epi- thets expressive of contempt, abhorrence, scorn, and hatred, which the dictionary could furnish him with. These, when thus collected, he put into his composition, without stint Or measure. As this worthy gentleman (1) was a tavern-keeper, he had a fine opportunity to supplement his composition by abusing me in the presence of his customens as they sipped their beer over his counter. But "jnagna eat Veritas et pre- valebit" — the truth is mighty and shall prevail. Although they kept up a ferment for a time, I waited in patience until the troubled waters became caltti. Another worthy — an infidel, and editor of a German newspaper — called upon the people, in an article in his journal, to " tar and feather " me, or stone me, or hang me up. Another tavern-keeper also took up cudgels against me, and offered a reward to any one who would catch me out at night — the object, no doubt, being to carry out the sugges- tions of the infidel newspaper ; — so that, among them all, 10 218 ▲UTOBIOQBAPHY OF I had a pretty warai time of it for a while. I, however went on as usual ; going out or in, by night or day, as 1 had occasion, fearing the face of no man, for I had a clear con* science. When the storm was at its height, however, I went to one of the principal men of the town, and gave him my explanation. I also sent an article to the editor of the Gait HeformeTy who had allowed the notorious article to appear in bis columns, giving him an explanation of how matters stood, and desiring him to insert my reply. This he ao- coi"dingly did, but to small purpose, for the people were only too glad to get something against me ; and when, at last, they nervously clutched at a straw, they would not easily let go their hold. Seeing I could not stop this out- break by local means, I now wrote to the editor of the Montreal WitnesSf telling him what I had to suffer in conse- quence of the blunders of his reporters, and asking him again to do me the justice of repairing the evil. This request he now granted, but it was too late to be of any service to me. The people were determined — especially the tavern-keepers — to cling to their very small hold upon the man who they imagined was doing so much injury to their business — so that I could do no more. Three gentle- men, — ^two German and one English, — ^then undertook to publish answers to the many attacks which wore made against me through the medium of the papers. In these . answers, the characters of my enemies were fairly ran- sacked, and it was clearly shown that, even if I had said everything that the report charged me with saying, still a thousand times more could have been said to their detri- ment — and all within the bounds of truthfulness. BEY. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 219 Matters were in this state, when a procession of some kind passed my house, and we could distinctly hear the crowd, in passing, crying out, — "Hang up the Jew!" — "Away with him!" — "Tar and feather him!" and such like epithets — all expressive of their ** goodmll" towards myself. My family commenced to weep and 'tremble violently, imagining the procession was formed for the purpose of laying violent hands upon me. But I feared them not ; and with a prayer, — " Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do," — I took no further note of it, except " a note " in my journal. Taking no further notice of these men or their doings, 1 soon had the satisfaction of seeing the better-minded Germans convinced of my innocence ; and, strange enough, the very men who were my first and greatest opponents, have since become some of my best and firmest friends in Preston I The German newspaper, also, which thought — with one tremendous thunderbolt — ^to annihilate me, has itself now ceased to exist. Before this happy state of things ensued, however, I was made the subject of a most gross attack or outrage, which, only for the mercy of God, might have resulted in serious bodily injury — if not loss of life — to myself or my family. On a certain Saturday night, a large stone, of about eleven pounds in weight, was hurled violently through my bedroom window, smashing the whole of the upper portion of the sash, and making a deep indention in the floor where it alighted. This was followed a short time after by two smaller stones, beside other missiles. The larger stone, I supposed, was intended tx) bring me to the window to see what was the matter, when the smaller ones could then, 220 AUTOBIOOBAPHT OP when so exposed, have been aimed at me with sure effect. Providentially, the very night previous to tliis diabolical outrage taking place, I had changed my sleeping apartment from a downstairs room to one upstairs, where I continued to slumber throughout all the tumult, unconscious of all danger. My two daughters, however, who occupied the room thus violently attacked, were so terrified as to be unable to make any outcry whatever, and it was not until about four o'clock next morning that they could muster up sufficient courage to acquaint the family with what had transpired. I then for the first time became aware of the great danger which had menaced us, and the great mercy of God which had defeated the machinations of our enemies and preserved our lives. "We afterwards discovered the perpetrators of the out- rage, but took no steps to prosecute them — leaving them in the hands of One who hath said, " Vengeance is mine ; I will repay." The Reeve of the town, Jacob K. Erb, Esq., very kindly offered a reward of twenty-five dollars to J one As^ho would bring the perpetators of the outrage J punishment, and posted up placards to that effect — signing them, " By order of the Council." The next day, a certain tavern-keeper, in conjunction with a former enemy of mine, issued other bills, offering a reward of fifty dollars (!) in order to discover "whether Dr. Freshman had not done the atrocious deed himself 1" These posters were signed, ** By order of the Nobody," in opposition to those signed, " By order of the Council." But no one ever ean ed the fifty dollars ; and if they had, they would have had " Nobody " to pay it to them. Thus was the purpose of our enemies defeated ; and the REV. CfRARLEB FREflnMAlT. 221 very same Sabbath morning the Lord enabled me to preach to my sympathising congregation, from Romans xii. 19, — " Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord." I also preached to my atten- tive English congregation in the evening. Since that time, affairs have undergone a great change for the better. Even that tavern-keeper who had been so bitter against us, is now friendly disposed ; and although he never comes to hear me preach, yet he contributes to our Missionary fund, when the Sabbath-school collectors visit him with their collecting-cards ; and on a recent occasion, when we occupied a public hall of his ^r a concert in be- half of our Sabbath-school, he generously refused to make any charge for its occupancy. May the Lord in His mercy reward him with salvation ! But the Lutheran preacher, seeing? that none of these things could either kill me, or frighten me to death ; and seeing, moreover, that many of his own congregation, having a desire to hear me preach, were beginning to forsake him, now began to rub open his eyes, and feel whether he had been asleep or not. He tried all sorts of persuasions, en- deavouring to retain the straggling members of his flock, and even told some of them that if they desired to be con- verted, they could do as well in his church as any where else. To this they would reply : — " Why did you not tell us so before ? You have been here aU these years, and what have you yet accomplished 1 We are no better nor wiser now, than we were before you came. Look now at the Methodists, who have only been here such a little while, and yet see how much good they have done ! Look at some who were wicked and profligate, ■t 222 AUTOBIOOBAPHY OF who are nt)w reformed and virtuous. How is it that we never see anything of this in our church?" ., These were questions which he could not find answers to, either in his catechism oi prayer-book ; and as these were the principal books which he had read, he could not answer them all. On another occasion, a very intelligent and respectable German gentleman, the postmaster of the place, said to him, in a conversation on the respective merits of the two churches : — "Why," said he, "even their Sabbath-school children are altogether different from yours. While theirs are regular in their attendance both at Sunday-school and at church, yours are found as often playing in the streets and breaking the Sabbath, as attending to its duties. I tell you, we shall have to place the Wesleyan Sunday-school before us as a model ; and if you do not intend to be alto- gether swallowed up by them, you must begin to do as they do, and preach as they preach. I visited the Dr.'s Sunday- school, and heard him preach, and I felt quite different while there from what I have ever done under your minis- trations." These views, honestly expressed, were being constantly brought before him on all hands, so that he was driven almost to his wits end to know what to do. At last he concluded to follow Mr. N ^'s advice, and begin to do as we did. His first move in that direction was to commence a prayer-meeting ; but alas ! he had no one who could pray. How is it likely that a minister, who cannot himself pray without a book, should have members superior in ability to himself? And so, after an unsuccessful effort in this direction, it was abandoned. He then arranged hi« Sabbath- school on a different principle, and tried to infuse new life REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 223 e into its teachers and officers, and awaken a fresh interest in it in his congregation. But his chief effort at reform was in regard to pastoral visitation. Before I came, I had been told his members never used to see him at all at their homes, except when they would send for him ; but now he seemed to his wondering flock to be almost omnipresent, at least as much so as it is possible to conceive a Lutheran minister to be. If these visits had been for the purpose of instructing his flock more fully in the things of God, I s^iould have rejoiced ; but I was assured by some v/hom ho visited on tiiose occasions, that his principal business was to warn them to beware of the MethodLsts, a« some had already been deluded by them. By this means he suc- ceeded in retaining the larger portion of his congregation ; who, while they were free enough to confess that they derived no benefit from hira, still hesitated or feared to come to us ; acting, I suppose, on that very old adage, " Do not throw aXvay dirty water, until you are sure you have clean where- with to replace it." But the Lord blessed our labours everywhere. Although our appointments were now becoming pretty numerous, still, we had not a single appointment at which the Lord had not converted some soul or souls. Our Sabbath-school in Preston, composed of English and German children, who were taught in both languages, was now in a very flourish- ing condition. We met every Sabbath morning, and I was the superintendent myself. When about to celebrate an anniversary of the school, I invited the Rev. E. B. Harper, M.A., then in Hamilton, to give us his assistance by preach- ing a sermon for us, and being present at our tea-meeting on the following night. This he very kindly consented to do, and on that occasion was pleased to express a very com- 224 AUTOBIOGRAPHY Of plimentary opinion in regard to our school, bo much so, that he said he had never seen a better in his life. This opinion, coming from a man who had occupied stations in our largest cities in Canada, and had travelled in the neigh- bouring Bepublic, was irery flattering ; however, we did the best in our power to merit it. Bro. Harper preached an excellent sermon, in the course of which he said some very pointed things, and some peculiarly- appropriate and fitting to the infirmities of some in his con- gregation. So D merous and pointed were these hits, that I feared lest the people should imagine I had been exposing their foibles, and instructing him what to say. After the sermon, I expressed these fears to him, when he laughingly replied : — " O, never mind, I will set the matter right to-morrow evening." So the next evening, at our tea-meeting, in a witty and humorous speech, he pleasantly alluded to his sermon of tlxe previous day, telling the people they must not imagine he had been personal in his allusions, or instructed what to say, for he had found human nature the same all over the world, and his hits all applied to human nature in general ; to convince them of the truth of which, he told them it was an old sermon which he had already preached in several places, and no doubt would again. Thus everytliing appeared satisfactory and prosperous. But while I had much comfort with my German people, my 80ul was grieved when I looked upon my large I^nglish con- gregation^ — not a soul of whom, as far as I could see, was converted. It is true, there were a few who claimed to be members of the Wesleyan Church, and they may have had religion at ono time j but long deprivation of the regular RET. CHABLEB FBESHMAN. 225 means of grace, or inattention to its private duties, had left them with " a name to live, while they were dead." I saw that my preaching hitherto had failed to wake them up ; and, as I feared lest I had been speaking unto them smooth things, I began to be more pointed in my remarks, — more alarming to their consciences in my preaching. This not only created dissatisfaction with me, but a feeling against me, which soon permeated the whole congregation, as none of them had grace enough to see that I was only dealing with them as a faithful pastor who must give an account to God. They were not prepared for plain-dealing; and the consequence was, they became disaffected, and not only injured themselves, but were in a fair way to ruin our German cause also ; so, " unless the Lord, had left us a very small remnant, we should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah." :i This disaffection resulted in a request to the Chairman of the District for a preacher for the English congregation. He sent them a school-teacher, who preached to them until the end of the year — in the meantime fanning their disaffec- tion to a flame, which subsequently broke out into persecution against " that bad man," as he was pleased to term me. At the end of the year, the Conference appointed another Eng- lish minister to take charge of the Preston congregation, giving him also two or three small congregations, detached from the Berlin Circuit for that purpose. Since the English work was now no more connected with me, I shall confine myself to the German, with an allusion occasionally to the English department connected with our church. ^ But no sooner was one difficulty overcome, or one danger avoi'ted, than another would spring up in its place — like the 10* 226 "X AUTOBIOOBAPRT OF hydra serpent with its fifty heads, one of which would no sooner be cut off than others would spring out in its place. It seemed as if the people could find no cause of accusation against myself, they would try to injure my family. A certain Mr. W , at that time a Lutheran, set on foot a most scandalous report very damaging to the character of my son Jacob, who had, I am sure, never raised a finger, nor spoken a word, calculated to injure any one. But he^ too, had to endure his share of the trials and crosses which fell to his father's lot among this people. There are many things which I can afford to pass by without notice, and treat as beneath contempt ; but in this case the thing was BO scandalous, as well as so manifestly untrue, that I went to Mr. " W ■ , and told him I would make him prove the charge thus maliciously preferred against my son. I held no further parley with him, but left him to his own reflec- tions, as I was determined in this case to make short work of it. A person may belabour myself as much as he pleases ; but when it comes to my family, he touches the apple of my eye, and, resolve as I please, I cannot but feel when that is touched. What, then, was my astonishment, when, the following evening, a knock came to my door after nine o'clock at night, and in came this very Mr. "W— — ! but not with a list of proofs, as T imagined he would try to bring. Falling down on hf'^ knees before me, he coiifessed the utter falsity of the report, and implored my forgiveness -—stating at the same time that he had been induced to cir- culate the story while under the influence of liquor, given him by certain persons in order to stimulate him to it. I told him he already had my forgiveness, but must seek that of One whom he had most seriously grieved — even his Father in Heaven. I am thankful to be able to add that REV« CttARLES FRESHMAN. 227 tliat man is now a converted and upright member of our church, and also sustains the responsible position of an officer of the same. Truly, " God's ways are not as out ways, nor His thoughts as our thoughts." ft Another instance will suffice to show that, even witL all my experience in regard ro deceivers and wolves in sheep's clothing, I was very liable to be duped, as I had too much confidence in the integrity of those who could put on a fair exterior appearance. A certain doctor by the name of J———, '»ame to Preston, and commenced to practice his profession. He attended our church about a year very regularly, and t usdd to think he was an honest and upright man. But he did not get a large practice, and was, in con- sequence, sometimes in great straitp to make both ends meet. At times, as he needed it, I uised to lend him small sums of money, which, however, he never returned. I even on one occasion presented him with a suit of clothes which I had but seldom worn. This was out oi pure benevolence to him, as his own garments Were becoming too shabby to consort with the dignity of his profession. He, seeing the kindness of my disposition, took courage, and begged for a still fur- ther favour, viz., that I would go with him to Hamilton, fcnd assist him in making some purchases in one of our drug establishments there. This, with his fair speeches and iseeming honesty, he also prevailed on me to do ; but I was prudent enough this time not to become security for him. I also lent him several valuable books to read, which were never returned ; for he and his family left the place sud- denly one night, and were never afterwards heard of. They of course left their debts unpaid. The books which he had belonging to me were sold, with whatever else he had left behind, to pay his debts, or were divided among his 228 AUTOBIOGRAPHT OP creditors, but were quite insufficient to meet their demands. Besides the loss of my books, I also lost about thirty dollars in cash, advanced to him in small sums at different times, to meet pressing emergenciea I was sorry to hear that the drug store in Hamilton lost about twenty-five dollars by his defection. /' Oh I what a goodly outside falsehood hath t" rrt I wonder whether I shall ever learn wisdom enough not to put my trust in man ! After all, I felt more sorry for the poor man himself than for what I had lost by him, as 1 had all along great hopes of his conversion and future usefulness. -r I think, however, this was the last straw which is said to have broken the camel's back ; and I can say that from this time I became more careful, and determined not to be cheated any further. This, in fact> became necessary, for my family, who were now considerably grown up, were becoming more expensive ; and we found it necessary to begin to practice the most rigid economy, in order to which we were compelled to give up keeping servants, as we had always formerly done. But after all our efforts in this direction, by the time of the Montreal Conference I was shockingly in debt to the amount of one hundred and eighty dollars ; and had it not been for the great industry and economy commendably practised by my wife and family, as well as by myself, I would not have been able to give my children even a tolerable education. But I am happy to say that, by means of retrenchment in all directions, I was enabled to accomplish this purpose ; and one of them at least, after graduating in the Wesleyan Female College, Hamilton, will, I am sure, by Providential guidance, make her way through life. REV. CBARLES FRESHMAK. 229 Here I would take occasion to immortalise a certain class of " croakers," who, like the fungus on a decaying tree, form the excrescences of society. They \, xil croak about paying the minister such a large salary, as they call it, and quietly tell you that they cannot make $600 a year off their farms. They cannot afford to give their sons and their daughters a collegiate education. They cannot afford -> dress themselves as gentlemen, and drive fast horses and covered buggies as Bome of their ministers do. Well, in the first place, those who croak most give least, and it is astonishing what strength of lungs a man who gives his minister fifty cents a quarter has got. He will rival his neighbour in the swamp, who keeps the woods and fields vocal the livelong summer night with his melodious music. The reverse of this is also the case. Those who give most croak least. When I hear a man croaking about the large salary and expensive habits of his minister, I at once put him down as a fifty or twenty- five cents subscriber to his salary ; and am strongly inclined to favour Darwin's view of the affinity of such, — not very remote, — ^with the tadpole, which wriggles in the mud at the edge of a pond in summer, till finally he lays aside his tail and becomes invested with legs to jump and a voice to croak. '-^ *» cic»^ii^i>*>i> lj;y>ii UMH filViML lo In the second place, it is not true that they do not make six hundred dollars a year off their farms. It is true, per- haps, they do not clear so much cash every year; but if they count up every pound of butter they use, and every dozen eggs, and every bag of flour, and every slice of ham, and every wisp of hay, and every bushel of oats which their family amd their stock consume in a year, as well as every article of clothing which they wear, and charge for these at 230 V > AUTOBIOORAPHT OF I the rate which ministers have to pay for Ihem, they will see whether it does not amount to six hundred dollars or more. ifJ* In ih.e third place, even if they do not make so much ajs a minister, perhaps they have not so much invested. A minister must have education ; and many of them have an education which costs more thousands of dollars than t^eir farms did hundreds. His education is his capital, and a capital which in an^r market ought to yield a return in pro portion to the amount invested. A minister must also present a respectable appearanclB before his people, and have books and periodicals to read, so as to keep posted on the state of the world and sdence, as it is for the benefit of his All this beoomes etp^nsive ; and if a kninistel*' fail in ati^ of these respects to come up to the normal standard, these Very people would despise him; and yet they would withhold from him the meiuis necesjiary to come up to theit own requirements. How inconsistent I j. In the fourth place, even if these croaking farmers, to whom I have tilluded, cannot give their soni^ and their daughters a college education, they can give their sons a farm, and their daughters a portion, which their minister n6ver can do. So they have not so mUch to complain of attei all. Clearly, I could give my children nothing but an. education, and if the Lord spare me I shall endeavour that they all get one. The Rev. Dr. Rice knew well how to appreciate the importanee of this^ when, on one occasion, he advised me to "give my children something which the sheriff cannot take away from them : " a memorable sentence among the I" REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 231 many memorable sentences which I have heard him utter, and some of which I hope he may commit to the custody of the press for the benefit of the world. After this disquisition on croakers and croaking, I turn to another chapter in which will be further detailed an account of my labours and trials. i -t *■-;>*. i. iis^U; . id. fiV ngmg les ,v. y^il ■ f • C-. CHAPTER XIV. Serious Accident — Misrepresentation — Comparative Repose — Power of True Beligion in Death — Instances : German Painter ; The Young Backslider — Brother Schesser enters the Itinerancy — Course of Study — Coference Appointments — Visit Louisville — Stop at Cincinnati — The German Church there — Preach in Louisville — View of the German Work in the United States— Again at Cincinnati on my Return— Preach a " Great Sermon " there, and fail — Preach at Detroit, and Lecture to the Jews — Threatened Prosecution there — Mr. Stroelinger — Return Home — Guelph District Meeting. i As we had now members of society at all our appointments, and many of these were considerable distances apart;, I found it necessary, for the accommodation of the people, to ad- minister the Lord's Supper, at intervals, at eatjh of the appointments. On one of these occasions, as I was driving home from St. George, about Easter, a serious accident befell me, which might have cost me my life. I had my son's horse, which was, at times, given to shying. At this time, when driving faster than usual, in order to reach Preston in time for my appointment at half-past six in the evening, and collecting my thoughts for the service, unapprehensive of danger, — just as I approached a high snow-bank, which had not yet been dissipated by the vernal sunshine, and out of which protruded some old stumps, my horse took fright, the gig in which I was riding was upset, and I was thrown on the frozen ground with such violence that I lay in- REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 233 sensible for a oonaiderable time, and my horse became fas- tened in the snow-bank. Shortly after this disaster, some Germans, who were passing that way, discovered me, and, extricating my horse, they assisted me into my gig, and thus enabled me to con- tinue my journey. They did not fail to observe that I had in my possession a bottle, containing the remainder of the wine after I had administered the sacrament of the Lord's Supper. In a day or two the news was dispersed in all directions, that the Methodist minister always supplied him- self with a bottle of wine, or something of that sort, when he went on a journey ! ^ This was but a little thing, and is only worth mentioning here, as showing how readily evil- disposed people are to find some cause of accusation against ministers. But I took no steps to explain it away, re- membering the example of Mr. Wesley, when a similar charge was brought against him, and only sorry that I had not a " guinea " to present to the poor creatures for their disinterested trouble ! About this time, the greater part of our persecutions and troubles had ceased— r at least for a considerable in> terval. Our work among the Germans went on and pros- pered. My son was still with me as my colleague, and shared in all my labours. Our care was to give no one any occasion to speak evil of us truthfully ; notwithstanding which, some of the Lutheran preachers always made a great outcry, especially when souls were being converted, and when we opened up new appointments in their territories. They in this manner served to introduce us into a neigh- bourhood, and, no doubt, induced some to come and hear us, through curiosity, who otherwise might not have been reached — ^thus defeating their own object. Some few of 234 AUTOBIOOHAPHY OP English extraction also delighted to say all manner of evil against us falsely ; but these things I considered of no great importance compared with what we had passed through. Our labours, also, began to be more appreciated, as an inci' dent or two will serve to illustrate. There was a certain German, a painter by trade, and an official member in the Lutheran Church, who, although he professed to be a converted member, always opposed us. At length Providence afflicted him ; and, after a time, the physicians pronounced the opinion that there was no hope of his recovery. He suffered great agonies during liis illness, and as his end approached, his friends asked him whether he did not wish to have his minister sent for. This he refused to do. He said : — " I am only a poor, lost sinner, and I have lived too long in his church, thinking I was a converted man ; and now that I am dying he cannot help me. O that I could now see some of those Methodists whom I have so much^despised, but whom I now believe to be good men !" Some of our German members were then, in accordance with his wishes, sent for, and remained praying with him, and pointing him to " the Lamb of God who taketh away the sins of the world." So earnest did he become in regard to his salvation, that they were obliged to remain with him day and night ; and, I am thankful to be able to say, that the result of their labours in his behalf was his saving conversion to God, and he died triumphing in the knowledge of his sins forgiven. A short time afterwards a similar incident occurred to a young lad who used to attend our Sabbath-school, but who, owing to the influence of his friends, who were all Lutherans,^ was obliged to leave it. When he became sick, nigh unto i REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 235 death, his friends strongly urged him to have the Lutheran minister sent for, but this he stoutly refusetl to do, tolling them he would rather die without any minister than have him present. " But" said he, "I would like you to send for young Mr. Freshman, or if he is not at home, for his father, for I believe they are good men, and did my soul much good while at their Sabbath-school." This request he continued to urge, until his parents at last, though very reluctantly, consented, and my son was summoned to his bedside late one evening. He remained with him reading, praying, and try- ing to comfort the young lad. But he refused to be comforted, — "For" said he, "I am a lost backslider, and I cannot die yet. I used to love my Saviour when at your Sabbath-school, but since I left it I have lost that love, and am now most unhappy." Thus he continued, bewailing his condition and reproach- ing his friends for robbing him of his birthright, and at intervals praying fervently for its restoration. At length the Lord again had mercy upon him, and he continued to praise and magnify His name until he passed away. His last utterances were, — " O thanks be to God, Mr. Freshman, He has again pardoned my sins and restored my soul, and I can now die happy !" He made his parents promise before he departed to allow us to perform the funeral services, which we accordingly did j and from that time two families have sent their children regularly to our school, who were ill \ ' > . , ' . r I /okoa Bro. illora, were e, for als, I lappy lich I tie as every . CHAPTER XVI. . Gommoncement of Conference Year — Two Conversions — Clear Con- version, Useful Life, and Triumphant Death of E. H — A Word about Formal Christians — Union of the German and English Sabbath- Schools proposed— Co-operation of the English Minister — Opposition of his People— Misrepresentation — Advice from Conference — List of Charges — Secession of the English— The German Sabbath- School — Visit to Hamilton — The Waterloo Mission — Incident at Heidelberg — Mr. S Attacks Mr. Wesley — Ease with which he is Answered — Providential Escape — Opposition and Success. I RETURNED from Conferpiice more persuaded than ever that the German work was of the Lord, and that He would not withhold His blessing from labour faithfully put forth in His service. ■ As if in direct answer to my prayer and faith for a blessing to rest upon us at the very commencement of the year, I received an earnest of it in our first prayer-meeting after Conference. A young lady, at that first meeting, was awakened to a sense of her position as a sinner, and led to seek the Saviour of sinners just such as she was. In a short time she realised the truth of that promise, — " In the day ye seek him with the whole heart, he will be found of you." I believe R. V was savingly converted to God. Since that time she has continued to witness a good profession, in the " midst; of a crooked and perverse generation," among whom she is endeavouring to shine as a light in the world. IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-S) h A y. 1/4 1.0 I.I ^ itf mil 2.0 2.2 l>*25 i 1.4 mm 1.6 7] -1^ «j^ > '> ■> v A Cjl /A yf^ "^y posing it were all true which you allege against him, I can show you, in a printed book, charges against Martin Luther and his wife, ten thousand times more criminal than anything you have yet said against Mr. Wesley ; and yet you are a follower of him. Do you not know that the best of men in all ages of the world's liistory, have had the most serious charges brought against them ? Even our Saviour was accused by his enemies of performing his miracles by the power of Beelzebub, the prince of the devils." One evening, when going to preach at one of their week night services, I drove my horse and buggy under a shed, and spent a couple of very profitable hours labouring for the salvation of souls. When I came out, the night was very dark, and I went to get my buggy in order to drive away. Something, however, seemed to impel my son and Bro. Schesser to examine my buggy and harness, to see that all was right before starting. This I would never have thought of doing, as I was not at all apprehensive of danger. It was well they did so, for when they came to feel around the ^'. NU 272 AUTOBIOCnAPIIY. I ■' whcola, tlicy found the nuts had been removed from tho endH of tlu) axles, leaving throo wlieels liable to drop off as soon as wo would start. I htul, of course, to leave my buggy there, and Mrs. Freshman and I had to walk quite a dis- tance before reacliing our place of accommodation for tJie night. This I again looked upon as a most providential deliverance from tho power of our emies ; for most assu- redly, had this not been observed before we started, tho wheels must have come off when going rapidly down a steep hill near by, the buggy would have been smashed, and per- haps Mrs. Freshman or myself, or both, instantly killed. This is but a specimen of the mamier in which the old adversary works, and, at tlie same tin^e, of the manner in which God defeats his projects. Notwithstanding all such opposition, the work in Heidelberg went on ; and altliough a few months ago there was no probability of accomplishing much there, we have now a church, a class, a leader, and a Sab])atli-school, as well as a nice congregation of devout wor- shippers. CHAPTER XVII. Trials from Without — Light and Shade — Visit the Ottawa Mission — Wilberforco — Love-Feast — EUice — Algona — Kindness of Bro. McDowell — Condition of the Country and People — Ex- plore New Territory — Difficulties — Present Position and Pros- pects of the Mission — Incidents — A Hasty Dinner — A Eomish Priest—" Old Clothes to Sell"— Safe Return— Church Dedica- tion in Erbsville — Translation from the Apologete — Visit Paris and St. George — The Lutheran Minister in Preston — A Re- formed Preacher — Calvin and Zwingle — Vindication against the Charge of Bigotry — Commence Protracted Meetings — Mishaps. In addition to the troubles I experienced from the internal state of affairs in Preston, my mind was often grieved when I heard of the remarks made by some of our brethren in the ministry occupying adjoining circuits. These remarks had a tendency to create the impression that the German work was a small affair. I must say, however, that they retarded our operations by such invidious remarks, and we could have opened ap- pointments in other places if they had given us a little assistance, or even if they had let us alone and minded their own business. Yet I am glad to be able to say, that they are now beginning to see that they have been mistaken, and are disposed to judge of us much more favourably at the present time than ever before. But the ligiit and the shade always bear some relation the one to the other ; and my lot during the present year 12* 274 AUTaBIOGRAPHY OP has not been without its bright aspects. Among other things, the very friendly relations which I have sustained towards the English minister is not among the least of my causes for thankfulness. Having trials in common, we made a common cause of it, and, I believe, served mutually to sustain each other. The Missionary Committee had expressed a desire that I should, as soon as convenient, pay a visit to the Ottawa Mission, which I had surveyed and opened up some years before, for the purpose not only of inspecting the present condition of the field already occupied, but also of penetra- ting beyond the limits of that field, in order to discover, if possible, whether there were others in the neighbourhood Btill destitute of the gospel. In pursuance of this object I started from home on Wednesday, the 25th of September, 1867, and arrived in Pembroke at midnight on Friday, the 27th. ;. T In the morning I went to the Chairman — the Rev. D. L. McDowell — who immediately offered to accompany me over a part of the journey, — a great portion of which was still a wilderness. We first visited Bro. Kappelle, who, in anticipation of my coming, had already made several . announcements for me to preach at various appointments. In accordance with one of those announcements, Bro. Kappelle and I went the same afternoon to Wilberforce. The road had very greatly improved since my former visit, seven years before : but J suffered greatly from a severe attack of rheumatism. We arrived at Wilberforce in the evening, and were very hospitably entertained at the house of Mrs. Edwards. As I entered the church on the following morning, my heart REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 275 of •was filled with joy and gratitude to see the hou' 3 of Cod filled with a devout assembly of German people, who were a.lready engaged in singing songs of gratitude and praise to the Most High. I forgot all my pains and aches, and had a blessed time in preaching to them. After the sermon we administered the Lord'u Supper, and this was followed by such a love-feast as it has seldom been my privilege to witness. For two hours a continued stream of praise went up to God from the hearts of these poor people, whose sins He had pardoned. Sometimes several would be on their feet at the same time ; and so anxious were the people to witness for Jesus, that it was with the utmost difficulty we could bring the meeting to a close ; — and even then the people would not leave the house. > But we had to hasten to our next appointment, at Ellice ; which place we reached pai'tly by driving and partly on foot. It was only a small congregation, but we had a blessed time. After the evening service we had still an hour's walk before we reached our resting-place for the night. The next day we continued our journey to Upper Wilber- force, where we arrived at four o'clock p. m. Bro. Kappelle had commenced to build a church in this place. In the evening I preached in the house of the German class-leader, and had great occasion to rejoice that the Lord had so richly blessed the labours of his ministering servant in this place ! On Tuesday I went to Algona. In order to reach this place we had to bring into requisition all kinds of convey- ances. A part of the way we rode on horseback ; from this we descended to a cart, — even this had to give place to a canoe ; and finally we had to proceed on foot ! I preached T ME. 1!^ 27G AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP t in the chiirch to on attentive and crowded congregation, and I had the pleasure of seeing one soul awakened during the service. At this place Bro. Kappelle left me well-cai-ed for, under the hospitable roof of Bro. Mitchell, and returned to his home. I occupied the three following days in visiting from house to house — inviting people out to the services — and preaching every evening. On Saturday, the 6th of October, it rained and snowed at intervals all day. The Sabbath evening appointment was in Sebastopol ; and I was very glad when I saw that Bro. McDowell and Bro. Kappelle had come through all this un- pleasant weather to accompany me. May the Lord bless the Chairman of the District for his warm-hearted, active services in the interests of the German cause ! The storm, and the miserable condition of the roads, made it impossible for us to reach our place of destination on the Saturday evening ; we remained, therefore, in a tavern by the road-side over night, and continued our j( imey on the Sabbath morning. Wlien we came to the place of our appointment, we found that the greater part of the congregation had returned to their homes. Still, a few remained, and to these I preached. I found here more intelligence and refinement than in any other German settlement. They promised to give the "Wesleyan Church the deed of one hundred acres of land, and contribute a portion of the salary of a missionary, if only one would be sent tc them. Mr. Holderman, a German, and the Government Land Agent, invited us to dinner, and promised to do all in his power in order to get a German Church erected in that locality. ft. t ■« RET. chahles freshman. 277 After dinner wo stai*tod for Denby, and now commenced our troubles. Bad roads, nothing to eat, rain pouring down in torrents ! However we endured it all ; and at last, late in the evening, we arrived at a shanty, where we passed the night. On Monday we sought out, as we continued our travels, those families of ^Germans who had settled in the district, and this we continued to do thi'oughout the wh61e journey. "We came on Tuesday to Mr. Kenyon's, where Bro. Perry boarded, and here again we received every attention and kindness. From this place, Brother Kappelle and Brother McDowell returned to their respective homes, and left me to continue my journey still further, to Kingston, and find out the Ger- man settlers as I progressed. Brother Perry very kindly offered to go with me, and drive me in his gig. But before we had finished a day's journey, the gig was smas. d to pieces ; and, while the rain poured down in torrents, we had to continue our journey on foot until late in the night. At last we found a shelter at the house of Mr. Godfrey. Sel- dom have I felt more thankful than I did for the kindness which we experienced from Mr. Godfrey and his excellent wife. They dried our clothes, which were completely satu- rated, gave us a very good supper, and offered us the only bed they had in the house. We had still upwards of one hundred miles to travel, through a bleak, dreary wilderness, and with no kind of conveyance whatever. We saw no help for it, and philo- sophically determined to make light of what could not be remedied. Imagine our joy and gratitude when, just as we were about to start, Mr. Godfrey offered us a two-wheeled cart ! We accepted it with thankfulness, and went on, jolt- Ifll' 278 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP ing over roots and stumps ; and if we had not been pretty "woU put together, we must have gone to pieces. We found but very few hoiLses on our journey during the first day, but we soon came to the German settlement we had heard of, the people of which were desirous of having a missionary sent them.* On Friday, Brother Holmes, of Harrowsmith, offered to relieve Brother Perry, and conduct me to Kingston, where I took the morning train, and on Saturday night I arrived safely at home. On Sabbath I preached three times — twice to my own congregation, and once to the English, whose minister was supplying for his Chairman in Gait. On Monday I wrote an account of my journey to Dr. "Wood, as 1 had again to start on Tuesday, to assist my son in a series of Protracted Meetings on his mission, '•';■ The prospects of our German work in the parts of Canada which I visited are good. Brother Kappelle has seventeen appointments, four churches, and seventy members. They have already contributed seventy dollars for the mainte- nance of the missionaries. This is a great deal, when we take into consideration their circumstances as new settlers ; they are poor, and struggling with difficulties. When I came to the Ottawa Mission, seven years ago, I found neither bread to eat, nor a single converted soul. But now, to God be all the praise and glory ! they have bread enough and to spare — especially where the missionaries preach, and classes are formed. Brother Kappelle and his colleague are much * Since my return I have been empowered by the Missionary authorities to employ Brother Wasmund as a hired local-preacher for this place. He now travels under the Chairman, and will probably be received on trial for the regular work next Conference. REV. CHABLES FRESHMAN. 279 esteemed and beloved, and they have accomplished a good deal ; but the field is much too large for two men. The hardships which our missionaries have to endure are very great; but they labour on, impelled by the love of Jesus, for the salvation of immortal souls. There was in the settlements through which I travelled, work enough for two more men, and then they could not accomplish it all. Oh ! how grateful would it be to them, if the Missionary Board would immediately extend to them a helping hand ! The work there could be separated into two circuits ; but still I would judge it for the best, to leave the whole imder the oversight of Brother Kappelle. As this part of Canada has the best prospect to become settled with Germans, and as the Wesleyan Church is the first which has taken an interest especially in their spiritual welfare, so we should be the first in immediately supplying this destitute part of our land with gospel privileges commensurate with their necessities. May God, in his great mercy, not only open the door for us, but also give us grace to go up and possess the goodly land thus presented to our view ! The above is, in substance, the account which I wrote for the Christian Gtuirdian, on my return. Many incidents, however, some ludicrous enough, occurred during my visit, one or two of which may not be out of place here. During the time in which Brother McDowell accompanied me, we travelled almost a whole day without coming to a house, or having anything to eat. About four in the after- noon, we reached a small log-house, and presented ourselves as candidates for something to eat. The good woman of the house was glad to see us, but, unfortunately, had not a bite of prepared victuals in the house. She had, however, a sup- ply of flour, and she commenced to bake — sending off a dog. '7i '.t 280 y M AUTOBIOOEAPHY OF in the meantime, to catch a" couple of chickens with which to regale us. This was altogether too slow a process for my fancy ; and seizing a handful of potatoes, I threw them into the warm ashes, and before they were half roasted com- menced to devour them. Brother McDowell, — who was Chairman of a District, and had a certain amount of dig- nity to maintain, — waited until the chickens were cooked, and the cakes baked, and then did his duty to that which was set before him. ' During our repast, I ascertained from some conversation with the good woman of the house, that the E«v. R. Jones, "who had travelled through that country about forty years ago, was the means of her conversion to God ; and she still delights to acknowledge him as her spiritual father. At any rate, if it was not in that part he had travelled, it was somewhei-e where she had lived, and the fact is the same. Thus, the good seed sown in the most unpromising places is often found to take root downward, and bring forth finiit upwards, — giving encouragement to all, " in the morn- ing to sow the seed, and in the evening to withhold not the hand, not knowing which shall prosper, either this or that, or whether both shall be alike good." During a conversation which I had with Brother Mc- Dowell, on one of our journeys, he related an incident of the death of a Roman Catholic Priest, somewhere in that neighbourhood, which made a very deep impression on my mind. The Priest was said to have been awakened on his death- bed to a sense of his condition as a sinner, but too late to find the Saviour of sinners, and died in great mental agony, with his last breath exclaiming : — " Oh, my God I where am I going!" I REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 281 I thought of tho snares which, on two occasions, had been laid to entrap mo into the priesthood, and felt thankful that I had been led to become a Minister of the better Covenant, even if I did find my pathway somewhat hedged up at times. Some time after this, in conversation with another Priest, and endeavouring to point out to him his errors, I mentioned this circumstance to him, and asked him to compare such a death-bed with the scenes recorded in connection with tho last moments of evangelical Ministers of other churches ; but the poor man either had the ears of the deaf adder, which would not hearken to the voice of the charmer, or else ho believed in a purgatory, where the peccadilloes of the present life could be atoned for by the fire of purification, — for he went his way seemingly caring for none of these things. When I returned home from my tour of exploration I presented a pitiable enough appearance. My clothes wero in tatters. I had to wear my overcoat buttoned close to conceal the rents in the coat beneath, and even my overcoat was in a sorry enough condition. Two large rents, extending from the top throughout, afforded free scope for ventilation ; and if I had not been inside of it, and any one had found it in the woods, they would most certainly have said of me, as the old Patriarch said of his son Joseph, " Surely an evil beast hath devoured him !" My boots were in keeping with my other garments, full of rents ; and my linen was in that condition beat expressed by the word "unmentionable." However I was thankful that it was no worse, and soon after my arrival I forgot the lesser troubles of my journey in combatting the stem realities" of those at home. Soon after my return I dedicated a new church to the 28^ AUTOBIOGRAPHY OB' worsLi[) of God in Erbsville, an appointment on my son's fiolci of labour. I sent an acco\int of it to the ChHaiian Guardian, which account Dr. Njist was pleased to transcribe into the Apologete, prefacing it with a few observations of his own. As this will no doubt servo as a book of refer- ence for information regarding the commencement of the German work in Canada, until a better one is published, I cannot do better than translate the whole article from the Apologete, including the notice which originally appeared in the Guardian. He says : — " "We make our readers acquainted with the interesting missionary operations of Dr. Freshman, which we have translated from the Chi'istian Guardian, the organ of the Wesleyan Church in Canada. Dr. Freshman is the father of German Methodism in Canada, and has imparted his pioneer spirit to the younger preachers. Our brethren in Canada labour in the present day with the same zeal and self-denial which characterized the fathers of the English Wesleyan Church, and the pioneers of the German work in the United States. The same zeal and spiritual devotion are just as necessary in the present time as they were in those days. May the Lord grant to all his servants a rich baptism of fire on their entrance upon the new year ! Dr, Freshman informs the Guardian^ of Nov. 26, 1867, of new conquests, as follows : — " * Last Sunday I was permitted to dedicate to the worship of the Triune God a new church, (or meeting-house, as we would call it,) in Erbsville, and to preach three times to very large and devout congregations. The house was crowded, and the Holy Spirit moved many hearts to tears during the proclamation of His word. This is the second German Church BEY, CnAALES FRESHMAN. 283 which has bocn dedicated since Conference in this part of our Gorman work, and another is to bo dedicated in Cones- toga, on the 2l8t of December. But not alone are churches being built, but souls are being converted, and arriving at a saving knowledge of the truth as it is in Jesus. In Poole and Heidelberg, where our young brethren have been hold- ing a series of protracted meetings, the Lord has richly blessed their labours, and at each of these appointments classes have been formed. At the present time they are making special efforts in Ellice and Erbsville, with the same success. I may say that the German work on the field occu- pied by my son and his colleagues, has been crowned with success, and promises still more. These young men labour hard, very hard, and have many privations to endure, so much so that I often wonder how they and their horses sus- tain it. But they are all courageous. Each of them labours with one hand on the wall of Zion, and with the other grasps the sword to defend the cause of God against its enemies. " ' What I have seen on this Mission, as well as on my lato journey to Ottawa fills iny heart, and will no doubt the hearts of all who love the Lord, with joy and thankfulness, and in- spires me with fresh courage. " * In conclusion, I may be permitted to say that T have nothing to complain of in regard to the spiritual condition of my Preston congregation. We an xpecting an outpouring of the Holy Spirit during the protracted meetings which wo intend to commence as soon as those on my son's field of labour are finished.' " Some time before starting on this visit to the Ottawa Mis- sion, I was sent for to visit Paris and St. George, in which places our German people were discontented with the Con- 284 AUTOBIOGRAPnT OP feronce appointmentfl, as they did not get the amount of preaching and visiting to which they had been accustomed. I found the good people of St. George mourning over this Btate of things very deeply ; but I preached to them, and also visited them at their homes, and finally succeeded in reconciling them to endure their fate until the end of the year. I had somewhat more difficulty with our friends in Paris, who especially complained of the neglect of pastoral visitation, but at last they too submitted, and peace and harmony were restored. The Lutheran minister in Preston had, for a length of time, occupied a very equivocal position in regard to his doctrines. He wished the people to understand that the doctrines which he held were in no respect different from those of the Re- formed Lutheran Church. By this means he had succeeded in gaining the confidence of some of the most intelligent and substantial men in Preston, who were of decidedly reform proclivities. Some things however occurred which had a direct ten- dency to shake their confidence in him as a proper person for their spiritual adviser, and a series of well directed ques- tions, in the form of a cross-examination, forced him to de- clare his true position, and he had to discover the cloven foot. Their confidence was at once destroyed, and they clamoured for a preacher after their own heart Such an one was supplied to them in this manner : — The Presbyterian Church not wishing to be behind other evangelical denominations in missionary zeal and enterprise had, some time before, engaged a young Swiss preacher, and sent him out to evangelize the Germans in Waterloo county. He took up his residence in Berlin, and commenced REV. CHARLES PRESIIMAIT. 285 to hold forth in the Lutheran Church in that place. This he continued for more than a year, until finally he gave it up. He then began to make incursions in various other direo- tions, and at length came to Preston, and asked permission to occupy our church for a service once in two oi tliree weeks, on the Lord's-day. I thought if he were a sound evangelical preacher he might thus be able to reach some of the people in Preston, who would never come to a Metho- dist service ; so I lent him the church, and gave him every facility to establish a cause here. I hope the Presbyterian minister will show as friendly a disposition towards our missionaries, if ever they have occasion to apply for a similar favour. I was somewhat amused at liim when, on one Sat- urday evening I handed him our hymn-book, and requested him to select the hymns for the service on the mon'ow, to find him select a single hymn, saying that was all he would require. " Well, but," said I, " do you only sing once during your service ?" " O yes," said he, " we sing three times, but we can divide this hymn into three section and sing a couple of verses each time." Well, thought I, this is at any rate a novelty, if it is not a reform. He preached a few times in our church — seemed earnest and zealous — but utterly failed in his endeavours to es- tablish a cause in Preston. He has I have heard, since he took his departure from amongst us, beea a little more successful in other localities. The principal cause of his want of success among the German Reformers in this neighbourhood, I attribute to 286 AUTOBIOORAPIIY OP the fact that he — as a Prosbyterian — is a follower of Calvin ; while the Roformors are nearly all followers of Zwiiigle ; and these doctrines, I have no hesitation in say- ing, do not completely harmonize. I however do not approve of the entire doctrines of either Calvin or Zwingle, but I believe they were both good men, and I hope got safe homo to heaven. But I think the doc- trines, as taught by either, much preferable to the perverted doctrines of the old Lutheran Church, and hence I give their dissemination every encouragement in such quarters as I know are not yet prepared to receive the more elevated and Scriptural doctrines of our church. I believe all our minis- ters are of the same disposition, and this ought to acquit us of the charge of bigotry, which misinformed people are BO prone to prefer against us. There is no converted minister to whom I would not give the right hand of fellowship, and no section of the church which preaches the necessity of conversion, and a godly life, to which I do not wish God speed. But I know this vindi- cation is unnecessary to those who are best acquainted with 118, and our doctrinal liberality. But while I am no friend to bigotry, I am still less friendly to latitudinarianism. -p hich would teach us that it is no matter what a man believes, if only his intentions are good. According to such, the sincere follower of Mahomet is just as good a man as the sincere follower of our blessed Lord and Savioiir ; and the honest infidel as near salvation as the believing Christian. If they do not say so much in as many words, certainly this is the tendency of their doc- trine ; and to such a doctrine I pray the Lord I may never become friendly disposed. BEV. CUARLSS FIIESIIMAN. 287 During the whole of tho fall months, including Dccemi)or, I han of liis ministerial ability ; an opLuion which, I am pleased to observe, I only hold in common with my brethren — for they give him the most important stations in their power to bestow. During the present year I have experienced much kind- ness, both from himself and his excellent lady, during some of my visits to Toronto, where he superintends the West Circuit, and presides as Chairman of the District. His noble self-sacrifice in accepting an arduous missionary ap- pointment at Red River, for which place he is to start in a couple of weeks in company with the Rev. G. McDougall, shows that he is a man of the right stamp, willing to lay his all upon the altar of his Master : to sacrifice ease, position, and society, for the sake of extending the kingdom of the Redeemer into lands remote. May the pleasure of the Lord prosper in his hands ! ' *,, ,(, Associated with him in Toronto is the Rev. George Coch- rane, with whom I have enjoyed many seasons of delightful intercourse. He is one of the many examples of men who have risen by their persistent efforts in the pursuit of know- ledge. He has an extensive and select library, filled with ** Many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore." Encyclopaedias of all kinds ; biblical and theological dic- tionaries, giving information on all possible subjects of enquiry which may arise to the mind; lexicons, rare and valuable, of different languages, — form a prominent feature in his collection. He has made some progress in the study of the Hebrew language, and is availing himself of the facilities which his proximity with the University College REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 293 ill Toronto affords him, of further improving himself in tliis department. " Labor omnia vincit" says one ; and I liope he may succeed in overcoming all obstacles, so that he may, in fine, learn to speak the language of Canaan. While speaking of the language of Canaan, I am reminded of one occasion on which I was invited to Cobourg to lecture before the learned Faculty and students of our College there, on the Hebrew language. At that time I endeavoured to prove that it was the language which God taught to Adam, and which continued to be spoken until the confusion of tongues at the building of Babel. I am still of that opinion ; and, more than that, I believe it is the language which will be spoken in heaven. The Rev. Dr. Nelles, the distin- guished President of Victoria College, seemed deeply inter- ested. In fact, the whole Faculty paid the most marked attention, which gave me much encouragement, as I felt I was addressing men of learning, who could appreciate the curious points which I started, and the delicate speculations in which I indulged. In conversation with Dr. Nelles afterwards, I was surprised at the variety of his attainments, and the extent of his knowledge ; especially in that depart- ment which would in my country be called " Philosophical," but is here more frequently termed " Metaphysical." He, however, made no parade of his learning ; but it seemed to come bubbling out spontaneously, as water from the spring. His conversation is, at the same time, so richly interspersed with anecdote, and real, genuine, lively humour, that he becomes immediately a most attractive person, and always improves the longer one is acquainted with him. I earnestly pray that he may long be spared to prove himself a workman that needeth not to be ashamed in the exalted position which it has been his lot now for so many years to occupy. 294 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP At that time I also became slightly acquainted with the Rev. W. H. Poole, who was then sta,tioned in Cobourg. I have several times met with him since, and my slight ac- quaintance has ripened into warm pei-sonal friendship and sincere esteem. His commanding presence seems to qualify him for a leader among his brethren ; and his affable man- ner uniformly secures him their good will. Without at all attempting the prophetic, I might predict for him the Chair- manship of a District at no distant day. No one doubts his qualification for this position ; and the confidence reposed in him by his brethren will speedily secure it to him. I have uniformly experienced the greatest amount of kind- ness from him, and take this opportunity of expressing my gi'atitude. While preaching to the Germans in London, I can never forget my indebtedness to the Rev. R. Jones, who was then stationed there. A veteran of the cross, he is still engaged in unfmling its banner with as much zeal and energy as when, forty-two years ago, he took up the standard and essayed to bear it. His gifts and graces have gained for him the highest positions in the gift of his ministerial brethren, not even excepting the Presidential Chair. Al- though there is only one now in the active work of the ministry in the Dominion of Canada who has been longer engaged than himself, still his eye can scarcely be said to have grown dim, or his natural force abated. The church may well pray that his efficient services may long be con- tinued ; for when at length he will have to lay his armour down, she will have lost a person whose efficient services, protracted over such an extended period, entitle him to the esteem of all who know him. Among those who are not immediately engaged in the REV. CHARLES FRE6HMAN. 295 work of the niiniatry, wo havo still very many prominont individuals who have raised for themselves monuments more lasting than brass.* Prominent among these stands the Rev. E. Ryerson, D.D., LL.D., Chief Sujicrintendent of Education, which responsible and honourable position he has now occupied, by permission of the Conference, for a number of years. The history of this valued servant of the Church is in a measure the history of Canada, but especially of Methodism in Canada. Possessed of rare gifts as a writer and speaker, his talents procured for him, while still a young man, the most distinguished positions which the Conference had it in its power to bestow. Chosen, on more than one occasion, as our representative to the British Conference, he could not but secure their admiration and esteem, as he had already done that of ours. His tongue and pen have always been at the service of the Church, and have never failed to render it efficient aid, — especially in times of its greatest extremity. His educational system is the admiration of the world, and no doubt posterity will continue to bless him for it, till time shall bo no more. His position outside of our regular work has prevented me from meeting him in the connection in which I have mentioned many othei*s to whom I have had to acknowledge my indebtedness for favours conferred ; but 1 can at least boast that he is my friend, and I trust ho will not consider this slight tribute to his worth out of place. Associated with him on the Conference platform, no one could fail to notice the Rev. Anson Green, D.D., whoso venerable appearance, and valuable counsels, would have * The boast of the poet Horace, **Exegl monttmentum cere peretmius.'* Lib. HI, Carmen XXX. 296 AUTOBIOGRAniY OP rendered liim an efficient member of the Sanhech'im, had he lived in the days when Judaism flourished. But Christians appreciate merit as well as Jews, as is readily seen hy the deference which is paid him when he rises in Conference to express his views on any of the important questions which from time to time coma up for deliberation. To enumerate his services to the Church would be to write out a list of the positions which he has occupied, from the President downwards, all of which requir-e talent of the first order, and confidence unbounded on the part of his brethren. These, I am glad to believe, he possesses. Though he now occupies a superannuated relation, he has by no means ceased to be useful, nor has his light become dim, but rather resembles *' The bright setting sun, at the close of the day, Which will rise in yet brighter array." "Bat what shall I more say ? for the time would fail me to tell of Gideon, and of Barak, and of Sampson, and of Jephtha, of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets." All these were mighty men, men of fiiith ; and the apostle meant nothing invidious by throwing them in, as it were, in a heap, or as a supplement to those already mentioned. In terms similar to those employed in reference to the brethren already mentioned, I might speak of the gentlemanly How- ard, the laborious Scott, the pious McEitchie, the faithful Goodson, the good-natured Blackstock, the zealous Youmans, the philosophical Williams, the indefatigable Buss, the clear- sighted Madden, the studious Sutherland, the courteous Hunt, the devoted Grey, the venerable and respected Father Douse,* the theological Bishop ; the rhetorical Stephenson, the affable See note * on page 317. capiiiii! aSV. CBABLBS FBB8HMA5. 297 Berry, the indomitable Aylesworth, the persevering English, the self-denying Hugill, the modest Shaw, the devoted Mo- Fadden, the popular Griffin, the obliging Greener, the sym- pathetic Learoyd, the kind-hearted Adams, the hospitable Andrews, the accomplished Christopherson, the talented Fish, the pastoral McCoUum, the retiring Preston, the cheerful Willoughby, the useful Clement, and the late lamented Spen- cer, All these brethren I am happy to claim as my friends ; and to all of them I must express my gratitude for kind- nesses, many and various, received at their hands, — as well as to the many excellent yoimg brethren who were their colleagues on the occasions of my visits to them, many of whom have since risen to occupy important positions in our work. While expedience prohibits me from being more extended in my notice of them, gratitude and personal re- gard for these brethren claim that th^r names at least should appear in my "Autobiography." Another writer* is at present engaged on a workf which will no doubt do more ample justice to their merits.^ Even while I write, the intelligence reaches me that the Bev. W. M. Punshon, M.A., has arrived in our Canada, and has already commenced his labours amongst us. I regret that I have not the honour of being acquainted personally with him; but I anticipate that pleasure before many weeks. No one can read of his doings without desiring to know more of him. Like a comet, or a meteor in the nocturnal sky, he already has become the cynosure towards which all eyes are attracted, and around which we lesser lights must be content * Rev. J. CarrolL + "Case, and His Cotemporaries." t I must here mention that I am much indebted to a great number of otir own laity, as well as to ministers of other denominations. 13* !i 396 AUTODIOOBAPUY OF to revolve. Among a nation proverbial for its great men; report awards him no secondary position. I look for his arrival to prove an epoch in our church. His presence will no doubt stimulate that principle of emulation in our minis- ters which the presence of a master-mind seldom fails to awaken. It is afi'ecting to read, in the English newspapers, the accounts of the tenacity with which the people clung to him as he was about to leave them, and gratifying to hear of the substantial tokens which they have given him of their apprt'c'ation and esteem. But what must especially endear him to us is the modesty and diffidence with which, fame reports, he receives all his honours. We anticipate in him none of that aristocratic hauteur which would keep him at a distance from our sympathies, and continually endeavour to teach us, " Thus far shalt thou come, but no farther." "We have not so learned to regard him. "We rather expect he can sympathize with us as a man, like our venerable Dr. Wood ; and a brother, like Bro. Taylor, and reciprocate with us the sentiment of Terence : — " Homo sum et nihil humanum a me alienum puto," — (I am a man, and I esteem nothing pertain, ing to humanity as foreign to me). As a man and a brother then, we bid him welcome to our Canada, and devoutly pray for the blessing of God to crown his labours amongst us ! From this digression, which I trust is a pardonable one, I now resume my narrative ; and as I promised that this should be the last chapter, I must in some sort redeem my pledge, although in doing so I shall have to condense many things worthy of more extended notice, and omit others which deserve insertion. I never like to expel a man from the church, and never (Jo so, even in flagrant cases, while tli o is any hope that milder measures will correct his errors. In a few cases, RET. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 299 howcrer, I have had to exorcise this prorogativo, painful as it is to mo. One of thoao occurred a fow months ago. On tho complaint of ten of our members I had to bring a man to trial, during which the charges against liim weie so fully sustained, and his conduct at the trial so flagrant, that I saw no alternative but to expel him. From him I met with determined opposition, and he gave me a good deal of trouble — misrepresenting myself and my family as far as his influence extended. As regarded myself, I would never have taken any notice of his misrepresentations ; but where my family were concerned, I deemed it necessary to call those members together who had been instrumental in bringing the charges, and those who had been present at the trial. In the presence of my son and the English minister, I put a series of questions to these, calculated to elucidate the truth. Their answers were entirely satisfac- tory to the young brethren present, and some of them even volunteered to make statements in vindication of my course, not called forth by any questions asked. And thus, in spite of his effort to injure myself and my family, it only recoiled upon himself, and proved beyond question that he was no longer fit for a position as a member of our church. Strangely enough, neither he nor his wife seemed particu- larly aggrieved with those who brought the charges against them ; but I and my family must suffer the full weight of their vengeance, — while, in reality, I only acted in accord- ance with "Discipline," and could not have done other than I did, if I had been ever so willing. In this manner I spent my " merry " Christmas and " happy " New Year. While my brethren in the English work were enjoying their fat turkeys and plum-puddings, as well as pleasant social intercourse with their friends, and iu 300 AUTOBIOOIAPBT Of deligliting in the full confidence and hearty co-operation of all the members of their flocks, here was I with my troubles But 1 ate my turkey and pudding with my family, which is a little world in itself, into the sanctity of which I can always retire when the storm rages without. If our English brethren could know what their German co-labourers have io suffer in comparison xvith them, they would readily admit that no pecuniary consideration is an adequate compensation for the conflict and strife, the trials and privations, which we are called upon to endure. We commenced on New Year's-day, 1868, a series of protracted meetings, which continued a few weeks with en- couraging tokens of the Divine presence. True, we only received six additions to our church ; but that is saying a great deal for Preston. It is of the infinite mercy of God that we have any one at all even coming to our church, much more being converted there, when we consider the opposition with which every one of them has to contend I But the six additions were not the only result of these meetings; the membership were quickened into new life, the weak were made strong, the Mnt-hearted encouraged, the desponding cheered, the doubting removed from the clutches of giant Despair. I received valuable assistance from my son and his two colleagues, who, not only by their pneaching, but also by their visitiag from house to house, were the means of bringing the tidings of salvation to some who might not otherwise have heard it. Of course opposition raged as usual. The more active we were in trying to get people to our services, the more dili- gent the enemiejj of our church became in persuading them from even entering such a " dangerous " place of worship, much less getting, aa they termed it, " ensnared in our trap," RET. CRARLEfi FRESHMAX. 301 One family enpecially, who had been reclaimed from th« liUtheran Church and brouglit under the influence of the gospel in its purity, suffered from the importunate visits of these, their so-called friends. But they knew in whom they had believed, and were always ready to gi\ j an answer to every one that asked them — a reason of the hope <^^at wiis in them. "How is it," they would say to those friends (?) who importuned them to go back to the Lutheran Cliurch, " that you never cared to warn us of our danger while we were yet in our sins 1 Now wo have found the Saviour ; now we enjoy religion, which makes us happy ; and we know we con Id no longer derive any benefit from listening to your preacher. And now we are resolved that * nothing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.' " During the progress of these meetings, Bro. Schessar arrived one evening from Heidelberg, and informed me that the w5 lows of our church in that place, which had only been erected during last summer, were smashed to pieces, — ^not only the §lass, but the sashes. The deed had been done on a Saturday night, doubtless for the purpose of preventing the Sabbath worship ; but in this their object was defeated, for there was to be no preaching service on that day, and the Sabbath-school alone was inconvenienced. But we accepted their good intentions all the same. However, early on Monday morning my son attended to the matter, and the breach was repaired forthwith. I was not at all surprised at this little expression of their good- will ; for a place which could be guilty of an attempt on my life a few months before, is quite capable of anything in that line. The German work must be of God, or we I 302 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF I would ot have a church, nor a member left to us, if He did not protect us, and restrain those who are opposed to His work. But as an off-set to my discouragements of this kind, I am sometimes favoured with cheering evidences that the seed which I am permitted to sow, often falls in good ground, perhaps where least expected. As an instance^ I may be allowed here to insert a letter which I received a short time since; from a boy who used to belong to our Sunday-school in Preston, but who removed over a year ago to Louisville, Kentucky. Evidently the impressions for good whicii he received while with us have been lasting, and have finally resulted in his conversion to God. He writes me the day after his conversion. But I will let him tell his own story, and I transcribe his letter verbatim et literatim: — "'' "LouisvUle K.y. 8th Fevery 1868. "Rev Dr Freshmenn — "It is of my bleasure to take the pen and ride A Letter, we thank Gott that we ar^ all Well, And i hope that yous are all Well. " O Brother Freshmenn if you gout think what a happy Time we have got in our Savour our God. I got converted 7th Feberrey 1868 Soffia Forrell cot converted Last week I cand tell exact what tay. John Schmitt and his wife got converted, they youst to go to the Mettothiss Geurge and Fell back and went to the Lotheran Churge and God Leated them back to the our Churg and got convertet. " Li the time of three weeks 42 got converted and there is 14 on the Momin Bench, and I hope that God will soon For give them there sir- REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 303 " In New Albney 40 got converted and 30 jound the Mettothis Churgo. there ia 15 Mettothis churges in Louis- ville, and 11 catolick. " there is more Mettothis churge in pur town then eney other churges. 2 Paptis 2 Lotheran and so forth 65 churge In Louisville. Brother Schimmelfening is our Preicher. " I Hope you will soon ride agane and Let us know how yous are geting allong in your churge. " I send my re specks to all Frient. to all your Familey to "William Mailer, Conrad Diehl, to Mailers hole Family, Diehls hole Family. I woult Liked to be With you in Preston, if God will i think I com over to nex Chrismass. "II Stay your Frend "William Schmidt. ^ " Address William Schmidt " Louisville K.y. rdt « Marshell St bet. Clay and Shelby hlix "No 195 u' ^'"William Schmidt _, " I went to momin Penche 2 weeks and I woutent give up till I Hat Found Geasus my Gott." U i Apart from the orthography and style of this letter, which is calculated to excite a smile, it contains good news, and encourages me to labour on, not only among the adult portion of my charge, but in the Sabbath-school; and if ten thousand will conspire against it to destroy it, as long as I receive such intimations as the above oi fruit " after many days," I will believe it is of the Lord ; and if it be of God, men " cannot overthrow it," even though they are willing to be found fighting against God. 904 AUTOBIOORAPHY OT I Preston is a peculiar placa It is large enough to fur- nish sufficient diversity of character, and small enough to admit of everybody knoi^ring everybody's business better than everybody knows it himself. The principal enjoyment of some is continually either to tell or to hear of some new thing. Hence, perhaps, it is that while I am here, they periodically avail themselves of " something fresh," which they are sure to cause to turn up to satisfy their desires. To show how this is accom- plished, I might give on example : — I had enjoyed a few weeKs of comparative peace, and could actually walk to the post-office and back without hearing anything to my disparagement. I was beginning to di'eam of those " seas of endless rest," " flowery beds of ease," and that sort of thing, which sounds so nice in poetry, when my tranquility was disturbed, and my recollection restored to the fact that I had not yet been " carried to the skies," by an attempt on the part of the Preston Munici- pality to impose a tax on my horse and buggy. This they had never done before. I remonstrated with the Reeve, requesting him to lay my appeal before the Council, which he neglected repeatedly to do. In the meantime I con- sulted with several of my friends, ministerial and lay, all of whom advised me not to pay it, as it was an illegal measure. I accordingly demurred when payment was de- manded. A bailiff was immediately sent to seize a portion of my furniture, and a large notice was placed in a con- spicuous place in the post-office, informing the inhabitants that on a given day the following property belonging to Dr. Freshman would be sold by public auction at his house, viz., "a table, six cane-seated chairs, a rocking-chair, and other furniture j" all of which were in due time sold for the REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 305 ill lal le- bs to Ld rery respectable sum of $3 45. The bailiff, who is a tavern- keeper, said lie was authorized by the collector, who is the son of a tavern-keeper. Perhaps this was the method by which they testified their disapproval of an exposition which I made of some of their pernicious doctiines, as taught in a catechism lately published by a Lutheran minister in New Dundee. I re- ceived a copy of the blasphemous little publication a short time after it was issued, and immediately sent a letter to the Christliche Apologete, published by Dr. Nast in Cin- cinnati. The little book is called, "Sj)iritual Food for Lutheran Schools and Families." As it contains many savory morsels, let me tempt the palates of some of my English brethren with a few of them Question 109 reads as follows : — What is the principal thing in Confimiation ] Ans. — Holy Baptism. ' Quest. 115. — ^What is a Lutheran if he leave his church ? Ans. — A perjurer against God and his Word. Quest. 138. — Can we then receive the Lord's Supper with other sects and churches ? Ans. — No ; by no means. Quest. 139.— Why not? Ans. — Because it would be a criminal hypocrisy and denial of the faith. Qiiest. 169. — For what purpose is the Holy Sacrament given 1 Ana. — To be eaten and drunk. Quest, 163. — When wjis the Holy Sacrament instituted Ans. — On Green Thursday evening. Quest. 170. — What ia the duty of every Lutheran? 306 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP Ans. — To learn Lutlier's Catechism, word for word, by heart. Quest. 177. — ^What is confession? Ans. — Confession comprehends two parts — one that a person confess his sins — the other that he receive absolution or forgiveness from the confessor AS from God himself. This, then is the church, and these some of its doctrines, which vaunts itself as having already possession of the field, and entitled to be let alone in undisturbed enjoyment. I have no doubt that if some of our English brethren, who doubted the experiment of employing German missionaries, could know the present attitude and tendencies of the Lutheran Church, — if they have any love for the souls of the poor Germans at all, — they would be led to change their opinions. When I see an evil, I must expose it. When I see a man going to hell, T must tell him go ; and if it will result in persecution every day I live, I must do my duty, I must save my soul. This being the normal state of affairs, it is not to be won- dered at that I sometimes hail it as a relief when business leads me abroad. But, wherever I go, I cannot get rid of " Dr. Freshman ;" and although I am pretty well acquainted with him myself, I often meet in those excursions with people who know a great deal more about him than I do. An amusing instance of this occurred a short time ago, during a visit to Hamilton. When about to return home, and while waiting at the station for the cars, a Mr. B , a Jew, residing in Hamilton, engaged in conversatioL with me. On ascertaining that I was going to Preston, the fol lowing colloquy ensued : — REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 307 " To Preston I" said ho ; "then you are perhaps ac- quainted with Dr. Freshman of that place ]" , " Why, yes," said I ; "everybody is acquainted with him. But why do you ask 1 Have you a message to send liim %" " Oh, no," said he ; " the mention of Preston merely brought him to my mind. "When I was up there I went to hear him preach." " Indeed !" said I. " Then you are, of course, acquainted with him !" " Yes," said he ; " only too -well !" " How is that ?" said I. " Has he ever done you any harm?" " Not to myself personally," said he. " But I take him to be one of the greatest scoundrels that ever lived !" " Indeed !" said I, " that is a serious charge to bring against any man. You ought to have a good foundation for it," " I have," said he ; " it is sufficient, in my opinion, to brand any man as a rascal who would leave the Jewish Church ; and, as for him, I know him to be both a hypo- crite and an imposter." " Well, really," said I, " I am pretty well acquainted with him ; I have heard him preach a number of times, and he always seems to me to be sincere. I believe he is a truly converted man, and preaches the pure gospel, — at least, if I understand it. I know, as a preacher, he gives entire satisfaction to his congregations ; and although some of the people among whom he labours are not well disposed to him, no one has ever been able to prove anything against his moral character. I cannot help thinking, if you were better acquainted with him, you could not say such hard things as you do." • Ji 308 AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP "I tell you," said ho, " I am perfectly well acquainted with him, I have heard him preach ; and although he passes for a learned man, I have a little boy who knows more than he does." "Well, then," said I, "if you are perfectly well acquainted with him, I have nothing more to say, except that I am that Dr. Freshman, of Preston, — " that scoundrel, that rascal, that impostor, that hypocrite !" I am Dr. Freshman himself ! And now, how dare you malign the character of a man whom you know nothing about, and whom, perhaps, you have never seen before? My Christianity teaches me not to lie, and to slander the character of no man. If your Judaism will tolerate such things, how long will it be before you learn the superiority of that Christianity which you despise?" If I ever saw confusion personified, that was the time ! All the colours of the rainbow flitted, in succession over his face, leaving a permanent pallor behind. If he could have vanished into a mousehole, I believe he would have done it. If he could have erected an adamant wall, or a thousand leagues distance between " Dr. Freshman " and himself, he would have done it. Just then Mr. Sumerfield, of Hamilton, came forward, and I acquainted him with the matter of our conversation ; when Mr. E, , plucking up courage, tried to defend himself in the following manner : — "You know me, Mr. Sumerfield," said he; "and you know I am not like other Jews, who delight to slander the character of Dr. Freshman. I believe he is a very good man, as well as very learned," (fee. " But stop, man !" said 1. " You know it is scarcely two minutes since you said so many hard things against me ; and now you do not blush to say the very opposite to ny nEV. CHAIILE8 FBEfiUMAN. 309 face ! Will you first tell me a lie, and then swear that you did not say ifJ" " Yes !" said he ; "I see the point, but I mis — ■, we mis — un — derstood one another ! 1 meant — well, yes, I did say — but I am going to Preston some day, and will — " " Poor fellow !" said I, "do you not see that you have no religion'?" At this point an acquaintance of his came forward and drew him away, and I saw him no more. On my way home, J had a very interesting conversation with my old friend Mr. Hespeler. He is interested in the German work ; and perhaps we may see our way clear to avail ourselves in future of the advantage of his good inten- tions. I believe, if Mr. Hespeler were fully to espouse the good cause of Christ, he would become a pillar in the temple of our God — a polished stone whose lustre would never become dim, neither in this world nor that which is to come, I hope he will remember — if his eye should scan these pages — that " without ceasing, I make mention of him in my prayers." My heart's desire and prayer to God on his behalf is, that he may be saved. Neither I nor any of my family attach a great deal of importance to dreams ; and yet, a short time ago, my wife and one of my daughters dreamed a peculiar and almost identical dream, about our second son, Edward, who is now in Cincinnati. We were startled the next day by the re- ceipt of a letter, informing us of his dangerous illness, and how very near the gates of death he had stood. But we are thankful to God for his recovery so far, and we trust he will soon be perfectly restored. To Mrs. Dr. Weakly we would especially tender our most heartfelt thanks, for her very motherly attention to him during his illness.] 310 • AUTOBIOGRAPHY OP • While speaking of dreams, a very strange circumstance was related to me a few weeks ago, which goes to prove that there may be "more tilings in heaven and earth than we dream of in our philosophy." A young man named Wait was killed near St. George a short time ago, while engaged among saw logs. This young man had a brother and a married sister, — a Mrs. Eastman, — who keeps a store in Owen Sound. On the night on which the young man wau killed, his brother was asleep in the store in Owen Sound. A man came to him in his dreams, and told him, — " Mi-s. Eastman's brother is dead !" He awoke, and finding it only a dream, composed himself to sleep again. Again the man came to him and said, " Mrs. Eastman's brother is dead." So vivid was the impression that he got up and went from the store towards Mrs. Eastman's house ; but on the way thither, he met a man coming to tell him that they had re- ceived a telegram, stating that his brother was badly hurt. They started immediately for St. George, and on arriving found that he had died almost exactly at the time when his noc . amal visitor had first appeared. The spiritual messen- ger had made swifter progress, and conveyed more accurate information, than the telegraph. As I belong this year to the Hamilton District, I was appointed on the Missionary Deputation to the Grand River and New Credit Indian Missions. I started on the 10th of February, and enjoyed my visit to both these stations ex- ceedingly. It never was my privilege before to be among converted Indians, and I was thankful to God to see so many of them. I found that religion can educate and civil- ize an Indian as well as a white man. It seems as well adapted for the one as the other. I shall retain many pleas- ing reminiscences of my visit to them, and my intercourse -»/ REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 311 ■with our ministers whom T met, and whose hospitality I shared ; but it might prove tedious to particularize. One thing I did want to satisfy myself regarding, and that was, whether, as some suppose, the Indians are descendants of the (lost) ten tribes of J srael. For this purpore I had a lengthy conversation with one of their chiefs. I enquired into their various traditions, but could find no similarity to those of the Jews. I asked him to repeat to me several colloquial phrases in his own language, but could discover not a single trace of reserifblance to the Hebrew. This sub- ject I will endeavour more fully to investigate in my volume of " Lectures on Judaism," which I intend to publish. (Extract from Diary, February 17.) *' Yesterday we had a most blessed day. Bro. C. Lavell, M.A,, Chairman of the Guelph District, came up to admin- ister the Lord's Supper to Bro. Smiley's congregation. He preached one of his inimitable sermons : rich in thought, simple in style, lucid in exposition. Bro. Lavell is highly esteemed in Gait, and gives universal satisfaction to the brethren of his District. May God long spare his life to the Church !" When I remember all the way in which the Lord has led me, I have very many special reasons to be truly thankful. Among other things, I may say, as it is somewhat remark- able, that not one of those who have been converted through my instrumentality, or that of my son, has ever backslidden ; and not one of the many children whom I have baptized, has, to my knowledge, died. Some even, who were at the point 313 UTOBIOOHAPHY OP iii of death, and supposed beyond the iwssibility of i-estoration to libalth, after being baptized by me, speedily recovered. These things may apj)ear strange, but are nevertheless true. 1 say it not boastingly, but to the glory of God. I wish I could add that all whom I have married live happily ; but if they do not, all I have to say is, that it is their own fault. I have just received a letter from Bro. Schuster, stating that the new mission which I opened on the Ottawa last Fall, is doing well, and giving promise of success. It will be eight years next C(Jliference since I began the German work in Canada. Then there was not a single German Wesleyan Methodist. Now, thanks be to God ! we have eight missionary labourers in the vineyard, several local preachers and class-leaders, and over two himdred members in the society — with a goodly number in heaven. Then we had not a single church or appointment ; now we have twelve churches, and thirty congregations, among which flourish several very prosperous Sabbath-schools. Besides all this, other German churches, which were becoming cold and dead, have been awakened and quickened through our instrumentality. When we contemplate these facts, in the face of all the opposition with which we have had, and still have, to contend, how can we suppress from grateful hearts the exclamation, " What hath God wrought ! " In the lan- guage of our sainted founder, we would ascribe all the glory to Him ; and surely we have a right to the same consolation as he used to derive from the reflection, " The best of all is, God is with us ! " And now my task is almost accomplished, my book almost finished, and yet a strange sort of fascination, or " caccethes scrihendi," keeps my pen in motion. Althougli I have thus come to the close of the record of my life, my life itself r > REV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 313 has not yet como to a close. It is somewhat saddening to tliink that perhaps some who read those pages, the Lutheran Church esj>ecially, would wihh it had. It is not a very com- fortable conviction to feel assured that you meet with people every day who hate you ; yet so it is with me. Even so, I am content for the sake of Him who said, " Ye shall be hated of all men for my name's saka" ** Yea, let men rage, since thou wilt spread, Thy shadowing wings around my head ; Since in all pain thy tender love, Will still my sure refreshment prove. " In closing this record of my life thus far, I cannot forget that there is another record being kept in the book of God's remembrance, and that, finally, when my life-task is accom- plished, I must be judged according to the things that are written in that book. What a solemn aspect does such a reflection give to life ! During the preceding pages 1 have had occasion to men- tion the names of many who are still alive ; some of these have merited praise, and some dispraise. Some, perhaps, may feel aggrieved ; but I can honestly say I have had no desire to injure any one. If that had been my object, to render evil for evil, the names of many would here have been inserted who are not. I feel that my Christianity enables me to forgive my enemies, yea, to pray for them ; and my heart's desire and prayer to God for each of them is that they may be saved. Even to those who feel ag- grieved at any thing I have said about them, it will be manifest that I have said only what the integrity of history demanded, I would willingly have passed them by, and 14 314 AUTOBIOGRArUY OF allowed their efforts to injure me to be forgotten, could I have done so without mutilating my nnrrative. I have little more to wiy. My heart in lx)und up in the German work, and although some of my spiritual children are ungrateful and wayward, I believe the work will, in time, become an important one. He who would ask for greater success as a proof of our ministry tlian that which has already crowned our efforts, little knows the nature of the field in which we labour. As I have before remarked, it is a mercy in view of all cur difficulties, that we have even a " few names who have not defiled their garments." As the work lies near my heart, I feel jealous for its wel- fare, and if it cost me my life, I must defend its interests ; for in doing so, I feel tliat I am defending the cause of God. But I am satisfied that when our English brethren are fully acquainted with us and our work, they will see as we see, and assist us in protecting it from, its enemies. May God hasten the time, and grant that the future may be as the past, only much more abundant. Here, perhaps, I ought to write the little word "Finis!" and lay uv/Wn my pen ; but as another important event occurred quite recently, which I neglected to mention in its proper place, it may not inappropriately be inserted here, and may be called a "P.S.," an "N.B.," an "Addendum," or anything else that suits the fancy of the reader. Those who have been wearied with the task of reading the preceding pages, may stop when they com3 to the word " Finis," if they please ; but if they do, they will never know 3i: HEV. CHARLES FRESHMAN. 315 HOW I CAME TO GIVE UP SMOKINO TOBACCO I or ho ng if It occurred in tliia way. In the latter part of Noveml)cr, 1867, I was assisting at a protracted meeting in Heidelberg, on my son's mission. During one of the evenings I preached there, a good old lady, a Mrs. Weber, was pow- erfully awakened to a sense of her lost condition as a sinner. After the meeting, Mrs. Freshman and I went home with her to the house of her son, with whom she is living, and to whoso kind hospitality we are always wel- come. As she was in great distress of mind, wo remained conversing with her, and pointing her to the Saviour who takoth away the sins of the world, till after midnight, when she found peace, and was made happy in God. After this had been achieved, I thought I deserved to enjoy the luxury of a " good, comfortable smoke." Whilo preparing the necessary materials, the following conver- sation ensued between myself and one of the young men, a grandson of the old lady I have mentioned : — " Why, Doctor," said he, " do you smoke t" ♦* Yes," said I, " did you never know that before ?" "Well," said he, "your young men are not allowed to Kmoke, are th y !" " No," said I, "we would like our young men, if j)Ossible, to bo in every respect an improvement on ourselves."* " Well," said he, " I was reading a short time ago in tho Apologete an article, in which you were styled " Tho Father of Gorman Methodism in Canada ;" and it does seem to mo rather inconsistent that a father will persist in doing what he will not allow his children to do." A 3W AUTOBIOGRAPHY. That was about all he said, and the subject was dropi>ed • but never have I listened to a more ix>worful sermon than that oontarnod in those few words of that young man. When I came home, I said to one of my daughters : — " Search through my drawers, and pockets, and slielves — everywhere ; and whei ^ \rer you find pipes, tobacco, matches, knives — anything I used in smoking, take it out of my sight, and out of my reach." Tlie command fell on no unwilling ear, and In less time than it has taken to write this, not a vestige of it remained — not a crumb if I had been starving, and scarcely an odor was perceptible in places formerly most infected. From that day to the present, more than six months ago, I have never had a " whiif." To say that I gained the victory without a struggle, would bo a simple untruth, and could serve no good puqx)se. For several days my old appetite would return with considerable intensity, especially after my meals. At such times I would pace the floor, sit down, try to read, get up again, and often could only find relief in prayer for sustaining grace. But I must say the victory thus gained was not such an impossible feat as I had always considered it. Now I not only have no desire to go back to my wallowing in the mir \ but I enjoy a delightful sense of freedom from a thraldom which was worse than slavery. My appetite has improved ; some of my vests will now hardly button around me. My perceptive faculties are clearer ; my sleep more refreshing. I feel younger in years, and moi-fi vigorous in body. To all smokers I would say, — " If you don't believe it, try it ! " ii I h t d li ADDENDA. I BEG to acknowledge my great indebtedness to the Rev. E. Wood, D. D., for the invaluable assistance ren- dered by him to this little work, in correcting the proof- sheets prior to going to press ; and also for the many judicious observations and suggestions rendered, from time to time, during the progress of the work. The Author, * NOTE TO PAGE 29ft. I became acquainted with Father Douse the first time that I visited Guelph. Among the pleasing reminiscences of that visit, is the introduction which Father Douse gave me to Jas. Hough, Esq. , a prominent member of the Wesleyan Church in Guelph, who has from that time held a warm place in my heart. His son, now the Editor of the Cobourg World, was then at home ; so that in one day I made two very valuable accessions to my already very long list of kind friends.