IMAGE EVALUATION TEST TARGET (MT-3) k A ^/ ^ -*% y < «:/^ "^z. 1.0 ^|Z8 |Z5 Ui li 12.2 £f B, I I.I ? -^ m IL25 i 1.4 1.6 (?>. ^ V] '>^ ^ A ^^ w '/ iV CIHM/ICMH Microfiche Series. CIHM/ICIVIH Collection de microfiches. Canadian institute for Historical Microreproductions Institut Canadian de microreproductions historiques 1980 Technical Notes / Notes techniques The Institute has attempted to obtain the best original copy available for filming. Physical features of this copy which may alter any of the images in the reproduction are checked below. D Coloured covers/ Couvertures de couleur Coloured maps/ Cartes g^ographiques en couleur L'Institut a microfilm^ le meilleur exemplaire qu'il lui a 6t6 possible de se procurer. Certains dAfauts susceptibles de nuire A la quality de la reproduction sont notte ci-dessous. 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The last recorded frame on each microfiche shall contain the symbol — *> (meaning CONTINUED"), or the symbol V (meaning "END"), whichever applies. Les images suivantes ont tt6 reproduites avec ie plus grand soin, compte tenu de la condition at de la nettetA de I'exempiaire film6. et en conformity avec les conditions du contrat de filmaga. Un des symboies suivants apparattra sur la der- niAre image de cheque microfiche, selon Ie cas: Ie symboie —*- signifie "A SUIVRE", Ie symbole V signifie "FIN". The original copy was borrowed from, and filmed with, the kind consent of the following institution: National Library of Canada L'exemplaire film* fut reproduit gr&ce A la g6nArosit4 de i'6tablissement prAteur suivant : Bibliothdque nationale du Canada IVIaps or plates too large to be entirely included in one exposure are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, as many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: Les cartes ou les planches trop grandes pour dtre reproduites en un seul cliche sont fiim^es A partir de I'angle supArieure gauche, de gauche d droite et de haut en bas, en prenant Ie nombre d'images n^cessaire. Le diagramme suivant illustre la mAthode : 1 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 p ■3? V l\, :l |l;> '«^^.f J^; '» ' im 'Su iii i i I I J l i i it i i i ii i m i i i f i I I II -•» it. *» a " TOUBW ' W i iKwii i mmi.a ! ! i ^iil f>*"':*' V*^ .:• ..V , 1. ■ ii ■ ■44::., jS r- -^^1jiC2*: 9 '"t ■ :c3 1) ,.■;•■/■ >Vt' John R. Gair. 7TT7 ^ FUN ON THE ROAD. ^ / i) BY JOHN R. GAIR, AN OLD-TIMED DRUMMER, % m TORONTO: Printed by the Grip Printing and Publishing Company, Front St. 1886. r OOOSbO «i y NATIONAL LIBRARY CANADA IMDTHEOUE NATIONALS §jejdtcatian. To THE Right Honorablk Sir JOHN A. MACDONALD, G.C.B., Premier of the Dominion of Canada. THIS little work 18, BY HIS PERMISSION, RBSPKCTFULLY DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR. »<«M»l«i«lli« 1l i tllll l! i ^ THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE. I AM inclined to think the words of Pope, in his preface, are true, tliat both the writers of books and the readers of them are gene- rally not a little unreasonable in their expectations. The first seem to fancy the world must approve whatever they produce, and the latter imagine that authors are obliged to please them at any rate. Methinks as, on the one 'hand, no single man is bom with a right of controlling the opinions of all the rest, so, on the other, the world has no title to demand that the whole care and time of any particular person should be sacrificed to its entertainment. Therefore, 1 cannot but believe that writers and readers are under equal obligations for as much fame, or pleasure, as each affords the other, and the ablest authors have been severely criticized, and however pleasing the author may endeavor to put his work together he must needs be criticized, and on the whole a bad author deserves better usage than a bad critic, for it is always the writer's endeavor to please his readers, and he merely fail* through the misfortune of ill judgment, and any one has a right to write a book if he thinks he can ; therefore, in my frail endeavor to set this volume before the public, I trust the criticism will be reasonable, fair and impar- tial, and everything taken and given in good humor. To contemplate the dangerous fate of becoming an author at first seemed to me a dangerous undertaking ; sailing on deep waters, methought, and finding no bottom, and at present in this 19th cen- tury, the educational system is so far advanced and the intellectual abilities of the people so great, that indeed, it does yet seem t > me a responsible undertaking, and all that is left now for me to do is to let the bark sail through storm and calm, and if I have written any- thing that may hurt the feelings of any, I can only hope to be par- doned. ia: w 8 There is nothing will vex an author as severe and wild criticism, and on the other hand, kind words in favor will naturally please ; but I don't look for much of the latter ; but as my first attempt I trust that critics will not take too much pains to kill it, for if it deserve to die let it die a natural death of itself. I have tried my best in a plain Scotch way to put this volume together, and not claiming it to be intellectual nor refined. I trust you will bear with me in the feeble eflfort ; and as I make no pre- tention whatever to give a comp: ehensive, much less a complete, view of a subject which in its details I conceive to be almost inex- haustible. J. R. Gair. London, Ont. ii ^Hfl FUN ON THE ROAD- N endeavoring to the best of my meagre abilities to write this book, it is not to run down travellers or make a show of them, as it would not be in place, nor creditable to the profession, and one who would be guilt)' of such would be liable to the censure of all the veterans of the road, and to write harsh matter against them would be in my opinion a serious matter, and ought not to be indulged in by any, no matter how able he is to write, or how intellectual ; it would be uncalled for and would be an ungentlemanly act on my part were I to indulge in inflammatory sarcasms on travellers, as I am in a position to know better. Commercial men are a class of intelligent and intel- lectual men, who can hold their own in any emergency, mix in the best of society, and carry themselves with an air of gentlemanly modesty becoming the profession, and were such not the case, the houses they represent and the responsible duties of trust devolved upon them, they could not be but men of sterling abilities and honesty. We have a great many grades of travellers : the witty, the easy-going, the quiet and sentimental, the vocalist, the poetical, and may I say the novelist, and many more too numerous to mention. I would not be out of place by saying that there are men in the ranks of the travel- lers who would not take a back seat with some of our Si \'k IT 10 first orators at Ottawa. Suffice to say, without much flattery, the rank and file are all men of sterling abilities and scholastic powers. Travellers of to-day have privi- leges and facilities for getting round the country that the pioneers of twenty and thirty years ago had not. In- stead of driving over miles of rough corduroy roads we have first-class gravel roads, good liveries, and No. 1 commercial waggons at reasonable prices. The country is also lined with railways from the Pacific to the Atlantic, and when we can't get a train to suit us we are not stuck, for there are liveries in nearly all the small towns of Ontario. Hotels are also much improved. Twenty years ago, when the traveller would have to put up in a small log- shanty, and glad to have it at that, how would some of our high-toned men of to-day, who run down hotels, and nothing is good enough for them, like such fare as that ? I wonder if those who growl all the while at the hotels of the present day were brought up in such style as would guarantee them the attention and hotel room that a duke or a lord should have ! It is very amusing to hear and read some of the rehash regarding our present day hotel accommodation ; nothing is good enough for some chaps ; they are eternally finding fault, if not with the sample rooms, or the table, probably the dining-room " gal '* hasn't got the proper dress on to suit. I am glad we have very few such narrow-contracted, proud-souled ignor- amuses in our ranks, and the sooner they are out of them the better for the associations and travellers at large. Hotels all through the country aro kept in good style, most of them first-class, but if the Duke of Edinburgh should happen to strike Hanover, and have a suite of rooms laid out for him there, then I know there are a few on the road who would ride from Toronto to stay there, for some are of opinion that the Rossin House, Toronto, is the only hotel that suits them, because the coming king of England put up there ; by the way, also Mrs, Langtry. 'if 11 Hotel-keepers are a much abused lot of men and I am going to defend them to the best of my abilities, and make war to the knife with any one who scurrilizes the men who make comfortable homes for us while on the warpath and away from home. I am beginning early with hotel-keepers, but I ma}'^ as well do it first as last. What puzzles me now is where to begin. There are so many first-class hotels, and so many genial gentlemen running them, that I shall have to overlook some, and if I do it is for lack of space. But not many of you will object if I begin with the Grigg House, of London. Yours truly, Saml. Griqg. Grigg House. Mr. Grigg is, without doubt, one of the most popular hotel proprietors in Western Canada ; his quiet gentle- PKSBMP 12 II 1 'I i manly and unassuming manner at all times, recommends himself to travellers of all dispositions, nationalities and creeds. He has lately taken periodical trips to his farm in the Noith- West. This magnificent farm is but six miles from Brandon, and from what can be learned, Mr. Grigg has chriscened it ' Rose Bank Farm." Travellers landing in Brandon, take a run down to see how he is getting along, and are treated by him in his usual genial and hos- pitable manner. It is to be hoped that he won't take up his abode per- manently there, as the boys on the western and northern peninsulas would miss a man so used to the wants and cares of the travellers. He was at one time compelled to hold an at home at Winnipeg. This speaks volumes for Mr. Grigg's popularity. Mr. Tom Grigg, his brother, and manager of the house, is another of those men who holds a good position in the hearts of the boys. His kind, generous and genial man- ners, along with nis good looks, make Tom a great favor- ite. There is one good quality he has, and it would be good if all men had such a virtue You will always find him the same, and it is almost impossible to make him angry; but if he is once made angry, look out for squalls. Mr. W. G. Webb, his assistant clerk, always looks well ^nd happy, and is always ready and willing to assign to the boys the best rooms in the house — even to the bridal chamber. 'Twas in the Grigg House I met McFarlane, the Scotch grocery traveller, representing Masuret of London. Mc. can " spoke the Gaelic so good as ferry few," and it won't be out of place to give a few of Mc.'s Scotch stories. By permission I give you one. This story is for the benefit of the Scotch regiment : Tonal McPherson started frae Glascae for New York. He had rather a stormy passage across the Atlantic, but as the wind was in oor favor the maist feck o' the time we made guid progress and landed on the first o' Septem- i' ; If 18 ber, ten days frae Glascae. After snoddin' up hissel, he gied awa* ashore wi' his portmantel in hand, but hnd na' travelled ten yards fra the ship's side when he was stopped by a well-dressed "Billy." He says to him, "You cannot leave the wharf till your baggage is examined." This precaution was to prevent smuggling, for the Yankee government charges tremendous prices on ah kind of im- ported goods. He opened his portmantel, and to his saer disgust the " Billy " gaed fumbling helter-skelter through it, tumbling his guid claes a' thro* ither in a maist unmerciful manner, looking for tobacco and sneechin. Tonal was mad to see his guid Sunday coat and breeks tossed out o' a' their faulds, and his dickies and hankies, packet sae tosh and tidy by Aunty Mary atbre he sailed. He could na' stan' it na' longer, and he says to the " Billy," "Gin I had ye at the top of o' Catterthun, my man, I'd gie ye as coarse a handlin' as ye hae gien ma Sunday claes." The " Billy " then took a piece o' kauk and scribbelt some figures on his portmantel, and he left the wharf. After awhile he came across a gay decent-looking hotel, where he deposited his portmantel, and he set out for a dawner thro' the city. He did na' think muckle o' the city, especially part o' it. It was unco' like the business streets o' Glascae or Dundee, but when he gaed ootside among the avenues he did get a treat. They were wide, straicht, and plant'd wi' trees at baith sides, and ilka hoose was a mansion. He never heard or saw o' anything like the grandeur o' the hotels, and kirks in this part o' the town. They were far ayont his descriptive pooers so he'll nae try to describe them. The public gardens were fine and he was spell-bound wi' admiration o' the rich rtooer-beds, flooers that at hame in Bonnie Scotland we see only in the hot-hooses o' the rich. At the other side o' the garden he saw the public park, and as he went through it a muckle brute o' an insect as big as a sparrow flew over his head. A gentleman was passing at the time and he says, " Beg yer pardin, sir, but is that what ■I 1 ■^ 14 'I ye ca* a misketta ? " " Wall, yes ; that is a misketta. Many of oor miskettas weighs a pound. Thinks he, " sure enoch a' things are muckle-sized in this kintra, and gie an American midge is as big as a sparrow, their bumblebees mun be as big as bubly jocks, wi' stings like scythes." Next day he found out the cause o' the wrinkle, for the insect was a dragon-fly, and the chap telt a muckle lee, for their miskettas are nae bigger than oor Scotch midges, but the bite is so annoying that they ocht to be ten times bigger; and gin ye hae a misketta in yer bedroom ye needna try to sleep, his pooer is sae great ye micht as weel try and sleep wi' a kicking cuddy. His Letter o' Introduction to Mr. Broon. By this time he was getting tired of travelling round, unaccustomed to such travelling in a city like New York. He had a letter o' introduction to a Mr. Broon, a third cousin o' his mither's, wha was said to be a wealthy and important man, and wha would likely help him to get a situation. He socht oot his hoose and found it, rang the bell and was ta'en into the drawing-room. Mr. B. soon appeared and treated him tae the greatest kindness and civility, and he gaed him a hearty Scotch welcome. In his letter to his friends in Scotland, regarding Mr. Broon's welcome to him, he goes on to tell tiiem, "I spent the feck o' the nicht wi' him and gaed back to his gay hoose the next day, as he wanted to gie me a drive in his buggy. I can tell ye I opened my twa een gay wide when his groom, a smart-looking chiel, brocht it roon' to the front door. It was sae different frae anything I had ever seen afore. It had twa slim things o* wheels, and twa lang thin shafts and as for the seat 'twas hardly visible tae the naked e'e. At a distance the hale macKine just minded me o' a muckle ettercap, and close in by the wheels were like ettercap wabs wi' hubs nae stronger lookin' than an auld spinning-wheel. The springs seemed 15 ujico' easy, but to all appearance they wad be as ^easy caM asunder as kindlin'-wood o'er a body's knee. The (lasher was nae bigger than a skool lady's sklate. After this description ye can fancy that there was a handful o' daylight shining through the thing. Just think o' twa muckle men trusting their banes in the outside o' sic a Mr. Broon giving Tonal McPherson a 2.20 Drive. like trap. Weel, we mounted the thing but the seat was sae sma' that it took it a' its might tae hand us baith. Mr. Broon said it was a three-quarter seat, and weel I wat he was nae far wrang as ^here was a quarter part o' baith o' us hingin' over the sides. The thing had nae railing at the back o' the seat, and hoo a body was to bide in it was a problem I had yet to solve, as he wad hae tae i 16 be mighty carefu' in case he'd gae off the plum'. The horse was a braw beast, wi' harness sae licht that it lookit for all the world lik a lot o' pencil marks across this way and down that way wi' a stripe o' sheepskin at his breast and another at his hurdles. Mr. Broon was what ye'd ca' a *guid whip' and he showed nae little science in naviga- tion thro' the crooded streets. We gaed oot on the Brighton Road, and never tae ma dying day will I forget ma nervish feelings. During the next half hoor a man cam' up in another trap and as he was ga'en tae pass us I got a glimpse o' his giggle. Hoo in a' the world it could baud a man was a puzzler tae me, for it was nae half the size o* oors. The moment he cam' abreast o' us oor beastie cocket his lugs as if it was used to it ; Mr. Broon gae'd a bit chuck, at the same time telling me tae baud on, as he was going tae let the horse oot. la half a minute we were flying thro' the air like lightning, the liorses sae near thigither that they appeared like blocks o' buildings ; the trees seemed to be rushing the other way, and the milestanes cam' in yic quick succession that I thought 1 was passing through a country kirkyard. At this time I was handing my breath, darin' only to breath noo and again for fear o' fauing oot o' the thing. By and by Mr. Broon pulled up, having clean licket the ither chap, and he lookit roon' ma way to see hoo I was enjoy- ing it. Noo the rain the night afore had made the roads rather cJarty and I was a' covered frae head tae shins wi' glour. Says I, * Mr. Broon, if that is what ye ca' letting yer horse oot, I hope the next time ye'll stop and let me oot.'" The City Hotel is next in order, run by James and John McMartin. This hotel is run in first-class style, and is the headquarters of Scotchmen. The Herd Laddie visits it when in London, and Mr. Donnelly says it is the best run hotel in the country. Mr. D. makes it his home. It is now beautifully fitted up, having in connection a 17 fine billiard parlor, from which the boys reap a good and profitable harvest. The McMartin Brotliers are noted for their hospitality, and are great favorites amongpt the commercial fraternity. It was in the City Hotel I sold the first bill of goods when 1 started out in my commer- cial career. Mr. Donnelly who is well-known to all trav- ellers for his ready wit and Irish brogue, will, with the rest of us, say a good word about the McMartin Brothers, and by his kind permission 1 shall endeavor to relate a little episode of his ready humor. At one time Mr. D. travelled as a missionary, or rather to strange hotel-keepers he passed himself off as one, especially when it came to paying his bill. I chanced to be in the same hotel with Mr. D. over night, and when settling the bill he asked the landlord with an air of serenity becoming a missionary if he'd not been in the habit of making special rates for missionaries. The landlord paused and looked at him, and said, ** Well, I suppose we must, but I was not aware that you were a missionary. Where might your headquarters be, please?" " It's none of your business,' replied Mr. Missionary. "You let me go free as all good Christians and gentlemen ought to, and I'll tell you where my headquarters are." He is always on the alert to lay himself out for some fun at someone else's expense. Mr. Donnelly was at Bothwell one time waiting a west-bound train, and as he is an inveterate smoker and a strict teetotaller he has a fashion while waiting for a train at the station to pace the platform. This morning was a hot oe^ 24th May, 1879, when there was a great crowd of excursionists waiting the same train. He was, in his usual easy style, im- patiently at heart, taking his smoke. He kept looking round to see if he could see anyone to speak to. He espied a leading Presbyterian minister. All at once he thought to himself he would have a joke with liim. He did not introduce himself, but went about in his old cunning manner until he got an opportunity of laying 18 himself out for some fun. Here an Irish traveller.f ull of wit, came into contact with a Scotch minister. Mr. D. addressed the minister as follows, ** I say, sir, this is a very queer country." " How," was the minister's query. " Because there is nothing in this place but a lousy lot of ignorant Scotchmen who don't know B from a bull's foot." Natur- ally the minister, being a Highland Scotchman himself, felt rather put out at the abrupt and crude remarks of Mr. D., so asked him what grudge he had against the Scotch. " Oh, they are a mean lot ; nobody has any faith in them." " What are your reasons for thinking so?" " They are not fit to be poundkeepers ; a dirty lot they are, and although an Irishman I wish I was a born Cana- dian." " Oh, well, you ought not to be ashamed of Scotchmen." "Why oughtn't I?" says Mr. Donnelly. By this time he was getting at his point, when the minis- ter began to eulogize such Scotchmen as the Right Hon. Sir J no. A. Macdonald, at the head of affairs in Ottawa, and Prime Minister of Canada. " Look again at the Hon. Oliver Mowat, at the head of affairs in Toronto, Premier of the Local Legislature, and the Hon. Alexander Macken- zie, the Erasers, the Macphersons, Rosses, Mackellars, etc., are they not a credit to Scotland and Scotchmen, to be at the head of affairs ?" Mr. I), listened quietly until the minister was through. He says, " Yes, you think Scotch- men rule our fair Dominion." " Yes, certainly they do." " Well," replied Mr. D., "if you go down to h — 1 you will find Scotchmen at the head of affairs there too." Fred Vanderlip, manager of the City Hotel, London, is an old-time commercial man, and I am sorry that I can't afford space to give some of Fred's interesting stories. Suffice to say, he is at a loss to know why his name is not Vanderbilt, as he might chance to have come into a share of the deceased Railway King's fortune ; however, Fred says he's happy as a king as he is, and from appearances it looks as if such was the case. It's a cold day when Fred gets left. His motto is : " A man's a man for a' that." 19 eer use ant ur- The 12th of July, 1882, I happened to be in Wiarton, on the Georgian Bay. I was after getting back from Lion's Head, a point twenty-two miles from Wiarton. This is a drive that any traveller undertaking it won't soon forget. In the summer time it is for six miles rocky, and will take a cautious driver to get through it without smashing something or breaking springs. Mr. Lee, grocery traveller, undertook to drive through to Wiarton from the Head on a dark night. He struck a stump and was thrown from the rig into a big mud hole and got beautifully dubbed over. In the winter months the road is good, the huge rocks being covered over with snow making good sleighing. Now there are two boats per week plying between Lion's Head and Tobermory from Wiarton, which will save the terrible ordeal of going over the rocky roads to Dublin. I once undertook the trip to the Head in a yacht. The captain, Mr. Ely, proprietor of the Ely House, started with a fair breeze, I may say a stiff sou'-wester. We made a splen- did run to within five miles of our landing place when the wind gave out and left us to the mercy of the huge rollers of the Georgian Bay. After a while the wind freshened, this time right off the land, and made it im- possible for us to run into the Head ; so we had only one choice to make, that was to run shore on one gf the islands, and it was no easy task. After getting safely anchored, we got ashore and lit a fire and made supper, then went to roost with sails for our blankets. Mr. Ely is a very early riser and this morning he got up earlier than usual to take his morning walk. Whatever way he mistook the water for land, he did so this morning. The yacht was anchored with her bow towards the shore and her stern in deep water. Anyone acquainted with the waters of the Georgian Bay knows that from ten to fifteen feet from the shore you will find from twelve to twenty feet of water. This beautiful sunny morning Mr, Ely thought he'd go ashore, Instead of going to the 71 20 bow of our craft he deliberately walked off the stem into eighteen feet of water. Plump down to the bottom he went. His first salute when coming to the surface was, "Oh, my God, boys, throw me a rope! I jumped oft* the stern of the bloody boat instead of going to the bow." Mr. Ely is an excellent swimmer and he says water was never flooded to drown him. We got up a good fire and very quickly had his clothes dried, and about 8 a.m. we started again for Lion's Head, gettint^f this time within a mile of the wharf when we were left in the same fix. This time a tug came to our rescue, and towed us in, thus ending a two days' trip by water. Lion's Head is a beautiful little place, picturesque in the extieme. The scenery reminds one of some of our mountainous ranges in Scotland. It derives its name from a rock the shape of a lion's head on a high cliff as you enter the harbor. Long weeds grow over it, which resembles the mane of the lion. There is considerable business done in the place. Messrs. Moore &; Vandusen, of Harriston and Tara, and Webster Bros., are doing the principal business, having full control of the lumbering and mill business, also running a large dry goods store, carrying a stock of from seven to ten thousand dollars. This little place, situated as it is on the pure blue waters of the Georgian Bay, will some day become a famous summer resort. There is excellent trout-fishing and game of all kinds in abundance. I could write a great deal about this little inland village. Anyone taking a trip there will be agreeably disappointed by its appearance, etc. Mr. Wm. Little, of the Confederation Life Insurance Con)pany, and myself, had occasion to spend the 4th of July, 1884, at Lion's He id. We were introduced to ex- Chief Peter Jones, of the Chippawas, when he told us the following interesting story of seventy-five years ago Jones is now ninety -six years old. We found him a well- informed and thoroughly educated man. He went on to say: m 21 " Seventy-fivo years a^o we (he and his squaw) camped riirht ill this spot where we now stand, with other braves and allies from the west and north shores of Lake Superior. Wc attacked the enemy (i. e., the Black Hawks, now, I believe, extinct). We pursued them clean from (Jape Crocker to Montreal, where there was not a single soul left to tell the tale, "^his famous battle was fought inch by inch, and the pursnit was by canoes, except by port- iiijes such as Nia<::ara Falls. I was one of the first Indians who visited England to make a treaty, the first ever made for Ontario Indians. I was introduced to Queen Victoria in the second year of her reign. You see, gentle- men, from the place we now stand the water of this lake has, in seventy-five years, receded and tilled in some forty rods," pointing to a certain spot where the wharf is now. He said, " I speared a sturgeon that weighed 175 lbs., and it was the largest I have ever seen. Our mode of spear- ing was different from what it is to-day. Having no ropes or cords we made tackle of rawhides, and from the end of a line of this we struck our prey, and allowed them to float around by the aid of a buoy till exhausted, . then we'd haul them ashore. Deer, bears, wild cats, partridge, rabbit and quail were very plentiful. We often killed them with a strong stick and with stones." We found the ex-Chief a most interestinsr and intelli- gent conversationalist, and he gave us a cordial invitation to visit him on his reserve at Cape Crocker, where he'^ will show us trophies and curiosities of those days, such as stone spears, stone pipes, stone a^es, hatchets, stone pots, cups and saucers, pans, toraaha .s, and many other curiosities, all made out of stone. I need scarcely say that Mr. L. and myself will very soon avail ourselves of Mr. Jones' kind invitation. I regret exceedingly losing a piece of poetry given us on the occasion of our visit descriptive of that famous battle and his victory. When I get it I shall have it published in Grip and translated by the ex-Chief. t }i\ > i! i- ill! 22 The nineteenth century is one of peace, plenty and happiness in Canada, and I presume the commercial travellers are a class who are apt to know and enjoy it. Every day we are finding out something new, from spicy stories amonost the fraternity to new customers on our travels. Since the flood, nothing was thought of Noah's ark, yet the persevering travelling explorers, at least, by dint of hard and hazardous work, found the long lost ship on Mount Ararat, and ere long we may be taking a trip to New York to see the wonderful boat constructed by the far sighted and wise Noah. It is not known whether he was a commercial traveller or not, but he was a man of commerce, and he might tor all we know have given some weary travellers orders for stores to supply his mighty ship. Adam represented the Garden of Eden, but he found it too big a concern for him to carry on alone, so he took to himself a partner, and afterwards sold out for an apple. It was a milliner bought him out, and we have lots of her goods to-dav in the markets. Poor Adam did not receive much thanks for his trouble, and I venture to say, there are many Adams now on the road who get but little thanks, who work hard day and night for their diflferent gardens. The Duke of Wellington, the hero of a hundred battles, England's king soldier, had to fortify his house in Eng- land against a rebellious mob. Napoleon cared nothing for a million widows left in the world to fight their own battles, nor did it move him to see a million carcasses laid on a battle field so long as he was emperor. Wholesale men are not intent to the inter- ests and comforts of their soldiers while battling on the road, so long as they pile up good orders and replenish their pockets. In all things there are selfish aims and motives, but it is gratifying to know that there are daily improvements in this class, but yet there remains a large space to be filled up. I have heard ministers 23 preach " The love of money is the root of all evil." The Bible savs it and we dare not contradict it. Yet how handy a good salary comes to a hard working traveller who has a wife and little family depending on him. Mone}' is what we depend on ; it is what we work for, and it is what we expect to live for. Robert Burns, Scotland's poet, I don't know whether or not he was a commercial traveller, but he has travelled a good deal in his time. I here quote a few lines from his biograph^'cal sketch : " The Ayrshire Bard, so lauded and lionized for a short period of his stormy and chequered career, and comparatively so neglected during his few later years, has at length risen to an elevation in the affections of his countrymen, and of the lovers of song in general, which has no parallel in the annals of literature. Peer and peasant alike, the man of the highest culture and the humblest mechanic and tiller of the soil, have enshrined him in their heart of hearts. The shepherd on Australian and New Zealand plains, the digger in Cali- fornian and Columbian mines, the sailor on the deck, and the soldier in the barracks, the colonist on the bank of the St. Lawrence, and by the shores of the great American 1. kes, in short, wherever men of Scottish birth or descent are found, there are the admirers of the Scottish poet found, animated by a warmth of admiration which is entirely exceptional." This quotation is for the benefit of our Scotch brethren on the road, and more especially to our Scottish baid, and I hope our coming Robert Burns, Mr. J. D. Stewart ; I may term him with honor the Travellers' Poet. Mr. Stewart may well say, as did Burns to the noblemen and gentlemen of the Caledonian Hunt, as he is the claimed hero of Caledonian sports, and have no doubt, he has by this time found a warm place in the hearts of many of his countrymen and fellow Scotch travellers: "The poetic genius of my country found me, as the prophetic Bard Elijah did Elisha, and threw her inspiring mantle over me." 24 ::|li 1 i mm .Mr I iiiiiii I now have much pleasure in inserting (by permission) Mr. Stewart's poem on the Highland Clans and the Lucknow Caledonian Games : — SONG— CHIEF McCRIMMON. Ai R — ' ' Bonnie Dundee. ' ' By J. D. Stewart, Hamilton. At the head of his clansmen McCrimmon you find, The stalwart in figure and nohle in mind ; Ever true to his trust, aye ready to lead", A true Caledonian in word and in deed. Chorus. Then fill up your j^lass, fill it up to the brim, With a ringing dd cheer we'll drink it to liini, Who'll ever " Hold Fast " to the honors he's won, Enwreathe 1 on our Motoo — we're " second to none.' From the peak of Ben Lomond to far John O'Groat's, The Gael cheers the heart with the pipe's thr'iling notes ; And proudly each clan dons the tartan and feather, Through warm sunny climes to the braes o' Balquhidder. Chorus. Huron and Bruce their thousands send here, The yeomen and scions of the swift mountaineer, With daughters as lovel}' in their Highland costume, As the tints of the rose or the heather in bloom. Chorus. Here the feats of a Dinnie and Ross meet applause, And McLennan enchants when the pibroch he blavvs ; Here Mathieson excels on the light tripping toe, And the Cummings, whose fleetness resemble the roe. Chorus. In the garb of old Gaul you will meet brither Scots, Who have wandered afar frae their clay biggit cots, To mingle and wrestle in the pastimes of youth In a land ever famed for its valor and truth. Chorus. I' 25 Then hurrah to old Lucknow the home of tho Celt, Where the slogan is heard but the steel never felt, Yet oft have the foes midst the smoke a- d the rattle Felt their death telling charge that ended tlie battle. September 12th, 1883. Chorus. The reader will not think me too Scotchy, as I am on the Lucknow games, in which the travellers of all nation- alties take deep interest. Mr. John Drumgole, a whole* souled Irishman, who sings " Bonnie Mary of Argyle " in tine style, one would imagine he was a Scot ; before I'm done I may bring him. out a Scotchman. Leviolete, of French descent, claims and is proud of having Scotch blood in his veins, another enthusiast of Caledonian sjjorts. Don't let me bore you with Scotch eulogies. I am com- ing to Englishmen and Irishmen, and I must not forget our German soldiers of the road. Before going further I will dwell on Lucknow and its clansmen. As for hotels, I have nothing of account to say about them ; we want better ones in Lucknow. Lucknow has many stalwart and fine looking clansmen, in the persons if McCrim- mons, Campbells, Camerons, Stewarts, McLeods, Mclntyres, McKinnons, McGregors and Kerrs. I don't know if Mr. Fred Grundy claims clanship, anyhow he is business from head to foot, and he is a first-class and most interesting conversationalist. As there are a goodly number of Highland men in Lucknow and on the road, it may be interesting to quote from the History of the Highland Clans what the brave and godly Brigadier-General Havelock said in addressing the 78th Highlanders, after the taking of Cawnpore, and afterwards at the taking of Lucknow in 1857. He said : " I have been engaged in action seven-and-twenty times ; but in the whole of my career I have never seen any legiment behave better, nay more, I have never seen any one behave so well, as the 78th this day. I am proud of you, and if ever I have the good luck to be made a ■ I- H 'I tSSB^BBsaemmi !! mm mm Hi l!i li! 26 Major-General, the first thing I shall do will be to go to the Duke of Cambridge and requ ,st that when my turn arrives for the colonelcy of a regiment, 1 may have the 78th Highlanders. And this, gentlemen, you hear from a man who is not in the habit of saying more than he means. I am not a Highlander, but I wish I was one." There are clans (tartans), viz. : The Stewart, Argyle Campbell, Maclean, Forbes, Sutherland or 93rd, Mac- dougal, Mackinnon, Macneil, Grant, Robertson, Menzies, Macdonald, Breadalbane, Campbell, McGregor, Chisholm, Ross, Cameron of Lochiel, Farquharson, Macintosh, Mac- leod, and Mackenzie, 71st and 78th Macintyre, Macnabb, Mackay, Gunn, Full Dress Macpherson, Macnaughton, Munro, Maclachlan, Fraser, McFarlane. Malcolm Campbell of Lucknow is one of its oldest and respected merchants, and does a large and prosperous business, and it may not be out of place to give a few quotations from the Highland clans, regarding this great clan of antiquity : — Badge, Myrtle. Ne ohlivis caris, vix ea nostra voco. The clan Campbell has been one of the most numerous and powerful in the Highlands. The name is by some stated to have been derived from a Norman knight named De Campobello, who came to England with William the Conqueror. As respects the latter part of the statement, it is to be observed that in the list of all the knights who composed the army of the Conqueror on the occasion of his invasion of England, and which is known by the name of the roll of Battle Abby, the name of Campobello is not to be found. Skene closes a long^ and flattering eulogy on the clan by saying no clan can boast of purer Celtic blood than the Campbells. There are the Argyle Camp- bells, the Breadalbane, and Campbells of Glenurchy. The force of the clan was in 1427, 1,000; in 1715, 4,000; and • in 1745, 5,000. Although each branch of the Campbells had its own peculiar arms, still there runs through all a family likeness, the difference generally being very small. 27 All the families of the Campbells names bears the oared galley in their arms, showing the connection by origin or intermarriage with the western Gaels, the island kings, Breadalbane quarters with the Stewart of Lome, having for supporters two stags, with the motto, " Follow me." I could fill a whole book about the different clans, but I cannot pass without a few remarks on the clan Cameron. ra voco. le name Malcolm Campbell. Allan, surnamed MacOchtry, or the son of Uchtred, is mentioned by tradition as the chief of the Camerons in the reign of Robert the Second, and according to the same authority, the clan Cameron and the clan Chattan were the two hostile tribes between whose champions (thirty against thirty) was fought the celebrated combat at Perth in the year 1396, before King Robert the Third t!l 28 with his nobility and court. As far back as can distinctly be traced this tribe had its seat in Lochaber, and appears to have Vjeen first connected with the House of Isla in the reign of Robert Bruce. Their more modern possessions of Lochiel and Locharkaig, situated on the western side of the Lochy, were origin- ally granted by the Lord of the Isles to the founder of the clan Ranold, from whose descendants they passed to the Camerons. Lochiel with his brave Camerons at the battle of Killiecrankie headed them to victory. This heroic and chivalrous Cameronian chief survived till the year 1719, when he died at the age of ninety, leaving a name dis- tinguished for bravery, honor, consistency, and disinter- ested devotion to the clan to which he so long and ably supported. I must not pass by the clans Stewarts of Lome, the Stewarts of Athole, and the Stewarts of Baiquhidder, from one or other of which all the rest have been derived. How the Stewarts of Lome acquired that district is told in an account of clan McDougall. The Stewarts of Lome were descended from a natural son of John Stewart, the last Lord of Lome, who, with the assistance of the Mac- Larens, retained forcible possession of part of his father's estates. From this family sprang the Stewarts of Appin, in Argyleshire, who, with the Athole branches, were con- sidered in the Highlands as forming the clan Stewai't. The badge of the original Stewarts was the oak, and of the Royal Stewarts, the thistle. In the end of the fifteenth century, the Stewarts of Appin were vassals of the Earl of Argyle in his lordship of Lome. In 1493 the name of the chief was Dougal Stewart. He was the natural son of John Stewart, the last Lord of Lome, and Isabella, eldest daughter of the first Earl of Argyle. The assassination of Campbell of Calder, guardian of the young Earl of Argyle, in February, 1592, caused a feud between the Stewarts of Appin and the Campbells, the effects of which was long felt. During 29 as can )chaber, Lth the Their larkaig, 1 origin- sr of the J to the le battle foic and ir 1719, ime dis- lisinter- nd ably >rne, the uhidder, derived, t is told f Lome rart, the he Mac- father's Appin, ere coll- ate wart. and of varts of lordship Dougal art, the r of the pbell of ebruary, pin and During the civil wars, the Stewarts of Appin ranged themselves under the banners of Montrose, and at the battle of lnver> lochy, 2nd February, 1645, rendered the chivalrous noble- man good service. They and the cause which they upheld were opposed by the Campbells. Between the Stewarts of Invernahyle and the Camp- bells of Dunstaffnage there existed a bitter feud, and about the beginning of the sixteenth century, the former family were all cut off but one child, the infant son of Stewart of Invernahyle, by the chief of Dunstaffnage, called Cailein Uaine, " Green Colin." The boy's nurse fled with him to Ardnamurchan, where her husband, the blacksmith of the district, resided. The latter brought him up to his own trade, and at sixteen years of age he could wield two fore-hammers at once, one in each hand, on the anvil, which acquired for him the name of Domh- null Nauord, or Donald of the Hammers. So much for the Stewarts. Next come the Urquharts. Mr. Urquhart, one of the oldest and most respected boot and shoe travellers on the road, another enthusiast of the Caledonian games, it may be interesting to give a few outlines of his clan. Urquhart is the name of a minor clan originally settled in Cromarty (badge, the wild flower), a branch of the clan Forbe"s. Nisbet says : " A brother of O'Chonchar, who slew the bear, and was predecessor of the Lords Forbes, having in keeping the castle of Urqu- hart, took his surname from that place." This castle stood on the south side of Loch Ness, and was in ancient times a place of great strength and importance, as is apparent from its extensive and magnificent ruins. In that fabu- lous work the true pedigree and lineal descent of the most ancient and honorable family of Urquhart since the creation of the world, by Sir Thomas Urquhart, Knight of Cromarty, the origin of the family and name is ascribed to Ouroh-Artos, that is, " fortunate and well beloved ;" the familiar name of Esarmore, of whom the eccentric author describes himself as the one hundred and \ i 30 I iii ' twenty-eighth descendant. He traces his pedigree, in n direct line, even up to Adam and Eve, and somewhat inconsistently makes the word Urquhart have the same meaning as Adam, namely " red earth." The family of Urquhart is one of great antiquity. In Hailes' Annals, it is mentioned that Edward I. of Eng- land, during the time of the competition for the Scottish crown, ordered a list of the sheriffs of Scotland to be made out. Among them appeared the name of Wm. Urquhart, of Cromarty, heritable sheriff of the county. He married a daughter of Hugh, Earl of Ross, and his son Adam obtained charters of various lands. A descen- dant of his, Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty, who lived in the 16th century, is said to have been father of eleven daughters and twenty-five sons ; seven of the latter fell at the battle of Pinkie, in 1547, and from another des- cended the Urquharts of Newhall, Monteagle, Kinbeachie and Braelaugwell. There is a great deal more about the clan Urquhart, but I must not take too much space. I would like to say something about our English, Irish and German tra- vellers. The Irishman is witty, the Scotchman is cun- ning, the Englishman for beef, the German for bologna sausage. I will now pass on and say a few words about a departed brother traveller, well known to every traveller in Canada, and it is needless for me to eulogize him, being a most intimate friend and companion of my own, and having represented the same house, my pen is inadequate to the occasion. Everj'- traveller has read, I have no doubt, the able and intellectual biographical sketch in the Commer- cial Traveller of our departed brother, Thomas H. Taylor, of Guelph. I have endeavored to compose a few lines to his memory ai Thos. H. Taylor. ON THE DEATH OF THOMAS H. TAYLOR. Died at Guelph, 1882. Man, may come and man may go, hut God goes on for ever. COMPOSKD SHORTLY AFTER HIS DEATH. Must we say farewell to one more brother, We do, 'tis sad to say ; He's now reposed in silent slumber, Quiet and cold beneath earth's cold c)'"'v. We miss him, yes, we miss him sorely, And think of him most every day, But hope to meet him yet sojourning in brighter land, At great God's final judgment day. I'M I -M fejii ■j*'_2L[, 82 In childhood's days he left green Erin's Isle, And crossed the mighty dark blue sea, And while in manhood, youth and beauty. Cut from our midst by grim death was he. The Rose, the Shamrock, nor the Thistle Now hath no charms for him, But the Maple Leaf of our fair Dominion, Waves gently over his silent tomb. Under its banner now we stand, And still, we travel on, And will think of him for many years, Although he's dead and gone. A 8 we are travelling here below, We'll yet land on that distant shore, There meet him with the angels In glory evermore. Farewell, brother, we must say ; O, 'tis farewell for ever, Thou'fet gone from this dreary earth of ours. When dearest friends must sever. Tho' long and hard they struggle for dear life. At last thou did'st suceimb. And cow thy dust sweetly reposes In still death's cold sib nt tomb. We sail along in the same bark, Captained hy the same mighty hand, The winds blow stro' g, and waves roll high, We fight, we tight for that same land, Where thou, dear brother, hast gone. I I A -Winter Night's Exper[ence Driving in a Snow Storm. In the winter of 1877, I arrived in Wingbam about noon in January, got through business lu good time, and, owing to the blockades on the road, I could get no train I;!' ' * I I ; «■ r?4 I ! I to bring mc to Lncknow. About '■'i : in ;i' III f 46 every traveller that comes along, bo he Samaritan, Jew, or Gentile, but never goes to a sample room. He takes two trips a year to Toronto, London, and Hamilton, and writes for his sorting orders. Next comes the man who means yea for yea and nay for nay, so "Good day, Mr. L." This is business, is it not i Then there are men who will give orders to-day and cancel them to-morrow. Then, again, wholesale men have a tendency to spoil customers on the travellers, by writing what they call " saucy letters." These are only a few of the many obstacles a traveller has to overcome. It was always said that A. Porteous, of Paisley, now banker, was a hard man to get over, and so he was, if not taken in the right way, for I was myself unceremoniously put out of his store at the end of a pitchfork ; but on returning again to the town I called on him and found him in good humor, and he treated me like a gentleman, and gave me a small order. It is said that he mixed up a traveller's tea samples once, but he had to pay for it. Well, in my experience for ten years on the road, I never saw the man — no matter what his temperament, be he ever so cross and hard to get along with — but that, by taking a right and proper way, he can be conquered. Only one man I know of, and that is a big, fat, lion-like fellow in Brussels, that I could not get along with ; and such men as these I let alone, and the memory of such goes into oblivion. Merchants, I hope, will take no offence at the few remarks made regarding them. The travellers have their little peculiarities. There is the man who is aye scared a brother traveller will get ahead of him — this is an eye to business. There is the man who bothers a merchant when he is engaged with a cus- tomer — this is a breach of commercial etiquette. There is the man who is always finding fault around the hotel — this is kicking. There is the man who is always grumbling about business — this is the man who has no ability to sell. There is the man who always finds business 47 ;,'oo(l when others ttni of road in the world." " Listowel tickets!" A couple of jolly- looking country chaps boarded the train here. They looked as if they slept in a bag of down, and were making the car sound with merry song, etc. They were at a dance the night before, and very soon, from the heat of the car, they both fell sound asleep, with their feet roosting on the top of the seat behind. There was one traveller on board who took in the situation, and procured a ball of twine, and tied them well together, head and feet, while they were snoring away the lone hours, amidst the greatest amuse- ment and merriment of the passengers, who enjoyed the joke immensely. Conductor Lilias came round and took in the situation, shook them up and hollared out "Tickets." They found they were bound together. A look at the conductor, then the cords. ** What the d 1 is this ? Boss, we are tied." " I see you are." Loud laughter. " Who did this, conductor ? " At this juncture the uproarious laughter amongst the passengers set them in a frenzy, for they could not move one way or another. At last Lilias took pity on them and released them from their bonds. They went away, vowincf vengeance on the perpetrator of so foul a deed, and they would shoot him on sight if they knew him. A witty London traveller, in Crediton, one winter's 53 servos and 1 ooking kedofF dation when have night, while the good people of that place were holding forth revival meetings, for a bet, walked up to the front seat in the church, amongst the converted ones, and after a while came out on arms with one of the elders, while a second tried it, and was not a success, for he was ordered out, not being a lit subject, for he had not the cheek to walk up to the altar as did No. 1. J. Eilber & Son do the principal business of this flour- ishing village, and Mr. Clarke holds forth the hostelry, and is a very genial and obliging fellow. Conductor Quirk is the champion trader; any one having an old knife, watch, etc., John is always on hand for a trade; he is a very ~reat favorite amongst the boys, and is always ready with witty answers on any subject or questions asked him. It was a cold and stormy night in December, 1878, when two' of us drove from Southamp- ton to Tara. On our wav we struck the little village of Allanford, there Mr. Johnson holds out. One of us had a very sore throat, and all kinds of medicines were pre- scribed for the throat disease. When in the little place, a lady prescribed for the throat-ache man a tablespoonful of coal oil. " Well, this is horrible medicine and no mis- take, but there might be virtue in it, and if it don't cr*'e it can't kill." So it was taken. An hour after it was taken : "How do you feel, Jack?" "I feel coal oil all over; I wish I hadn't taken the darned stuff." After business was transacted we started for Wiarton. We did not go many miles w^heii Jack, poor soul, began to sufier. "What's the matter now, Jack ?" " O, for God's sake, I'm sick ; hold up till I try and get this infernal coal oil off my stomach." We hauled up. Jack, poor soul, limped out, and tried his best to retch, but no go. "Come on, old boy, we will drive fast and get to Spencer's at He|)worth, and a good night's rest will fix you.'.' We went at a 10-mile gait and arrived at half past eleven at night. Old Spencer met us with a "Hello, boys! are you lost?" "No," says the sick oil man, "we're found." "What's the matter, li'ii {1; \ 'MM i^ m ! li PI 54 John? This man looks sick." " He was drinkincr coal oil," "For God's sake! Coal oil? and lot« of whiskey in the place; is he crazy?" "Oh, no, Spencer, he's all right ; he has a sore throat, and was recommended a coal oil dose, and he took it, and he says he'll never forget it, and warns nre if I tell any more about it he will resign his sit, and leave the country." By this time Jack scrambled in the bar. " Hello, Jack," says Spencer, " drinking ?" "Drinking what ?" John says, " You're drinking coal oil now." "Yes, and I am suffering for it ; for goodness' sake, old man, get me a warm solution of some stuff to put me sleeping to-night." "What will it be — warm coal oil, brandy or whiskey?" "Darn your coal oil! If you mention coal oil again I'll leave your house." " Will whiskey and lemon do?" "Yes; give me Irish, if you have it." "No Irish, but have fine old rye." "That will do,hurry up." Jack got it down after a struggle, but soon after turned pale and sick, so sick that he asked for a doctor. There was no doctor nearer than Owen Sound, but there happened to be a horse doctor across the road, and he was sent for to examine Jack, for poor Jack knew not the difference till the morning. When he was informed that the horse doctor fixed him, he was furious and exclaimed, " What do you fellows take me for?" " Why," says Spencei', "for a horse." Jack was pulling on a shoe at the time, which he threw at the old man, but accidentally hit the horse doctor, who immediately presented his bill. " What's this?" " My bill, sir, for service last night." " To medicine and one call late, $1.75." " Well, I presume, I must pay for it." Jack went away, vowing vengeance on that table, spoonful of coal oil, and the one who recommended the infernal dose. So much for Coal Oil Jack. ''lonv. was persuaded, a venture to make ; A letter informed mo that all was to wreck ; But the pursey old landord just waddled upstairs With a glorious bottle that ended my cares." — BU KNS oo () rmht ; H. E. Moore, of the Tecumseh House, London, is another t' those genial proprietors who know well the wants of the boys. There is one thing Mr. Moore can boast of that no other in the line can, that is a tirst-class base ball club, and his professionals are all selected from his guests, him- self captain. He says he can get on matches from eve-y class of people but the commercial travellers, as they are fonder of slugging trunks than base balls. As the Tecumseh House base ball club holds the championship of the Dominion, in all probabilities they will have some good clubs from other hotels to contend with during the sunny days of summer. By the way, I think Alick Dunn, of the St. Nicholas, Hamilton, is organizing a club. If that be the case, there can be no doubt but he will be able to give a good account of himself, he being a great favorite with the travellers, and Hamilton being a noted base ball city, Alick will liave very little trouble in getting up a good team to cope with the Tecumseh House of London. Mr. E. W. Dowling, the courteous head clerk of the Tecumseh, is an old time traveller, and that is the reason, I presume, Ed. knows the wants of the boys, and is so highly thought of by them. The reason he quit the road I don't know ; but he says : " Home, home, sweet home," used to ring in his ears, so much so that he came to the conclusion he'd quit and stay at home. Ed.'s favorite song now is, " Home, sweet home." He handed me the following to read, a response to the Drummer's Toast, by L. B. Sprengel, at the Merchant Tailors' Exchange of Washington, which I think is well worth borrowing, and I take the liberty of giving it — for two good reasons, it is well worth reading, and there might have been a great many of the boys that have not seen it — and I Iwpe Mr. Sprengel will have no objections in my makinLj use of il : — IIBBF ' '^ i B >iiji m m i 56 Features of the Diummer's Life. " The drummer, or iis he has been called of late, the commercial tourist, is a gentleman who, in the last fifteen or twenty years,has multiplied and increased like the limbs of a tree. I do not sup[)ose there is a place anywhere on the civilized globe that can support a small store of any kind, that has not at one time or another been surprised by having a drummer bob In^o it. As has been said, he comes in the Spring, in the Summer and in the Fall ; and lie carries with him plenty of cheek and an abundance of gall. He swoops down upon you like a thunder-storm or an avalanche, and tries to capture everything he can. He comes to you with his right hand extended, with a smiling countenance and sweet words. He inquires about your health and the health of your family. He wants to know how the young ones are. He asks how trade is. He tells you the news from all the different towns. He gives you plenty of good jokes and relates the pranks he has been up to on the way. Last, but not least, he brings with him his great big iron bound baggage-smasher proof trunk and plenty of samples of old and new goods, and uses his best endeavors to stick you, if possible. " Drummers, as a general thing, may be considered wel- come visitors, especially when they visit you'and request the privilege of being allowed to give you credit. Of course that is a sign that you are considered good, or they would not try to sell you a bill. You think that is all right. Sometimes, however, it is different. The drummer may come, not to sell a bill of goods, but to try to collect the old account that has been due for some time. (Laughter.) These things occur occasionally ; but they are generally left in the hands of the collector. The drummer is always the scape-goat in regard to everything that goes wrong in the way ot goods sent. If something else is sent in the place of the order given, the next time the drummer 57 has romos around he is lionnd td catcli the very ohi boy. Yon do not blame the house that sendn the goods, but you pitch into the poor fellow who does not know what has l)een sent. He takes all the scolding, and bears it with the fortitude of a martyr of the olden times ; or, rather more so, he puts them to shame and makes them bhish. He takes it all with a smile and promises to make it all right, and put in a good word for the next bill. The drummer may be considered as the spice and essence of trade. He is what some jieople call a necessary evil. The drummer, as a general thing, keeps everytliing going. A town is not lively luiless it has a drummer in it, or half a dozen. He keeps the hotel going, in the first place. In the next l)lace, he keeps the people going that he goes to see. He keeps the theatres going. The cigar stores profit by him. The saloons generally profit by him, and a great many other people do also. " Go back to the days when drumming was in its infancy, when drummers were few and far between. The merchant had to pack up his luggage and spend his time and his money to travel to the large cities. He had to look around and find a place where he could see the goods that he wanted. He iiad to go to many places, and some- times take what he did not want ; or, if he found what lie wanted, he had to pay the price that was asked him, because he did know anything about what competition was. Times have changed since then, Now drummers are many, and things are different. Competition is very great. Prices are squeezed down very much to get an order. (Laughter.) They are indeed. I have had expe- rience myself. Now all a merchant has to do is to sit back in his ofhce. Tiistead of spending his money in going after goods, the drummer comes and spends his money in different ways. (Laughter.) But these are all tricks of the trade; we get used to them. We find them out after we have been in the business some time. The merchant sits back in the office and gets postal cards from :' ':-' y' '-. 58 the dnimniers. He wait.s, and wlien the drunniicr comes, examines all liis goods, buys those he likes best ; and th(i goods are shipped to him, and he has no trouble. "Some people have an idea that it is a nice thing to be a drummer. ' How nice it is tc be a commercial tourist,' some of them say. * Just look ! He travels from town to town. He sees everything that goes on. He has all* the fun he wants — living at the firm's expense — ' that is the best part of the fun. They do not know the trials, troubles and tribulations that these poor fellows have. Poor deluded creatures, who have such an opinion of the drummer. How they are misinformed ! What mistaken ideas they have of the drunnner's life ! How would they like to make the early train from one point to another ; the only train about 2:30 a.m., with the thermometer down below zero and about two feet of snow On the ground. And after getting the train, what does the drummer have to sleep on ? A very bad running car, a hard seat, and everything like that. Then, when he does strike the next town, it may not be a town like oui* city of Philadelphia, or Baltimore, or Washington, where there are plenty of good hotels, but some little country town, where he is fed on bad hotel hash ; and when he ex])ects at last to find some sweet repose on the soft side of a board, covered over with the next morning's breakfast table cloth, he is kept awake all night fighting with those terrible instruments of tortvre, the bedbugs. They are mighty numerous in the country towns ; and don't you forget it. Then the success he meets with ! Sometimes he goes around for two or three weeks at a time and does not sell a cent's worth of goods; and at the next point where he receives his correspondence he gets a telegram from his house something like this : 'Come home immediately. We don't send a man on the road for glory. We want him to sell something.* All these little things add spice to the existence of the drummer that otherwise he would be without. But we are, however, to sum it all up, very 59 olad we are living. I may say that (Irummeis are for the most part, gentlemen, refined, intelligent and of pleasant address, always full of good humor. For the best part a drummer is what you might call a jolly good fellow, and a hail-fellow-well-met." A Scotchman, not long out, passing Frank Campbell's restaurant, London, one morning, noticed in his window, " o^Vogs, 50 cts. per dish," says — " Ma goodness, Jock, dune the folks in this country eat thae things?" "Why, yes, Jimmie, they are a favorite dish in Canada." "Weal, weel, if that be the case I mun gang back tae the land o' Burns, for I didna come here tae eat they beasts." Jimmie made liis way across the road to James Smith's restaurant, and the first thing he spied was fried frogs for dinner. " Ma Lord, is there nae place I mun gang into but I see frogs, Irogs ; this is putting me aff ma parridge. Come, Mr. Smith, gees a dram and let me git aw'er tae Delahook's till I get a ticket for Glascae." Before being too rash about going back to Scotland he made his way to John Cruik- shanks, of the American, an old friend of his. Jack Robinson was behind the bar. " Weel, Jack, hae ye frogs* feet for sale here?" " No, Jimmie, but we have good beef- steak. You can have porridge and milk for breakfast." "Thank the Lord, I got noo what I was looking for — let's hae a half mutchken o' yer best whiskey." " We only sell by the glass, Jimmie," " Weel, let's hae three guid glasses. I was thinking of going back tae Scotland, but I hae changed my mind noo. Where's Jack Cruikskanks ?" I was almost forgetting Winnipeg — O'Connor & Brown, proprietors of the Queen's. It is a well-known fact that they are gentlemen well known from the Pacific to the Atlantic, and travellers planting themselves under their care get away singing, for they are jolly good fellows. I I never had the good luck to get the length of the great lone west city, and if ever I do get that far west, I hope to have the f>leasure of meeting them, and probably Mr. O'Connor will sing his old and favorite song, '* Come back m ■' ii i./i 60 to Erin." I understand Mr. Brown has a set of bag- pipes, and no doubt the scirl of tlie pipes will have good scope in the prairie land. Some ok the Boys after a Good Xmas Bukakfast enjoying THEiii Pipes and Cioaus at O'Connou <& Bkown's, Queen's Hotel, Winnu'eg. With Mr. Ed. Griffith, the old and reliable head clerk, lately of the Grigg House, at the helm, the old Queen's steers a straight course. Ed. is and always was a great favorite with the travellers ; he is a good rifle shot and goes out occasionally and bags rabbits, prairie chickens, etc. When I make up my mind to go to Win- nipeg, hold a gun and two good hounds for me, Eddie, my boy. Col. Cole, the old reliable of the )ndon cavalry, and proprietor of the Cousins House, says : "Were he in active service, give him 250 travellers in the saddle and he would bet on them every time, as they have shown them- selves superior metal in the ISorth-West rebellion and 61 in otber uprisings in days <^orni by, say, Ridgeway.'' The boys have a god word for Col. Cole, who is a great favor- ite with them. J. W. Martin, of the Martin House, King street, Lon- don, is a great favorite with the commercial men. Jim makes a most pleasant home for the boys; he has a large council room, specially laid out for their sole con- venience, and being a literary man himself, he has got a very large and costly library for their use. I must not forget to tell you that he was once one of the boys himself; he represented a large manufacturing liouse in some part of the United States. Jim tells his reasons for quitting the sample cases in the following comical style : He fell in love with a beautiful young damsel, and corresponded with her for a good many months, and when he thought he was justified in pro- posing and was about doing so, another rival stepped in and cut him out. Getting down-hearted about the matter, he concluded he'd give up drumming, as he could not boar the idea of passing the city she lived in, it gave him such pain. So he sent in his resignation without giving any reasons for so doing. Being a great favorite with his employers, they naturally enough demanded his reasons for so abruptly acting. Jim was shy, and dare not tell them, being a. love matter, he knew they would laugh at him ; so he took his departure to Canada, and as he was a good-looking young fellow, he did not take long to decide his single course in this life. He is now proprietor of one of the best laid out hotels in the city of London, and a welcome home to any and every weaiy commercial that nmy call on him, and be sure and af. . him, when you call, if this be true. •' Wonld'at thou know her .sacred charms, Who this destined h-'art alanns, What kind