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Canadian institute for Historical Microreproductions Institut Canadian de microreproductions historiques

1980

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>Vt'

John R. Gair.

7TT7

FUN ON THE ROAD.

JOHN R. GAIR,

AN OLD-TIMED DRUMMER,

TORONTO:
Printed by the Grip Printing and Publishing Company, Front St.

1886.

OOOSbO

«i

NATIONAL LIBRARY

CANADA

IMDTHEOUE NATIONALS

§jejdtcatian.

To THE Right Honorablk

Sir JOHN A. MACDONALD, G.C.B.,

Premier of the Dominion of Canada.

THIS little work 18, BY HIS PERMISSION, RBSPKCTFULLY

DEDICATED BY THE AUTHOR.

»<«M»l«i«lli« 1l i tllll l! i

THE AUTHOR'S PREFACE.

I AM inclined to think the words of Pope, in his preface, are true,
tliat both the writers of books and the readers of them are gene-
rally not a little unreasonable in their expectations. The first seem
to fancy the world must approve whatever they produce, and the
latter imagine that authors are obliged to please them at any rate.

Methinks as, on the one 'hand, no single man is bom with a
right of controlling the opinions of all the rest, so, on the other,
the world has no title to demand that the whole care and time of
any particular person should be sacrificed to its entertainment.
Therefore, 1 cannot but believe that writers and readers are under
equal obligations for as much fame, or pleasure, as each affords the
other, and the ablest authors have been severely criticized, and
however pleasing the author may endeavor to put his work together
he must needs be criticized, and on the whole a bad author deserves
better usage than a bad critic, for it is always the writer's endeavor
to please his readers, and he merely fail* through the misfortune of
ill judgment, and any one has a right to write a book if he thinks
he can ; therefore, in my frail endeavor to set this volume before
the public, I trust the criticism will be reasonable, fair and impar-
tial, and everything taken and given in good humor.

To contemplate the dangerous fate of becoming an author at
first seemed to me a dangerous undertaking ; sailing on deep waters,
methought, and finding no bottom, and at present in this 19th cen-
tury, the educational system is so far advanced and the intellectual
abilities of the people so great, that indeed, it does yet seem t > me a
responsible undertaking, and all that is left now for me to do is to
let the bark sail through storm and calm, and if I have written any-
thing that may hurt the feelings of any, I can only hope to be par-
doned.

ia:

There is nothing will vex an author as severe and wild criticism,
and on the other hand, kind words in favor will naturally please ;
but I don't look for much of the latter ; but as my first attempt I
trust that critics will not take too much pains to kill it, for if it
deserve to die let it die a natural death of itself.

I have tried my best in a plain Scotch way to put this volume
together, and not claiming it to be intellectual nor refined. I trust
you will bear with me in the feeble eflfort ; and as I make no pre-
tention whatever to give a comp: ehensive, much less a complete,
view of a subject which in its details I conceive to be almost inex-
haustible.

J. R. Gair.
London, Ont.

^Hfl

FUN ON THE ROAD-

N endeavoring to the best of my meagre abilities to
write this book, it is not to run down travellers or
make a show of them, as it would not be in place,
nor creditable to the profession, and one who would
be guilt)' of such would be liable to the censure of all
the veterans of the road, and to write harsh matter against
them would be in my opinion a serious matter, and ought
not to be indulged in by any, no matter how able he is to
write, or how intellectual ; it would be uncalled for and
would be an ungentlemanly act on my part were I to
indulge in inflammatory sarcasms on travellers, as I am
in a position to know better.

Commercial men are a class of intelligent and intel-
lectual men, who can hold their own in any emergency,
mix in the best of society, and carry themselves with an
air of gentlemanly modesty becoming the profession, and
were such not the case, the houses they represent and the
responsible duties of trust devolved upon them, they
could not be but men of sterling abilities and honesty.

We have a great many grades of travellers : the witty,
the easy-going, the quiet and sentimental, the vocalist,
the poetical, and may I say the novelist, and many more
too numerous to mention. I would not be out of place
by saying that there are men in the ranks of the travel-
lers who would not take a back seat with some of our

\'k

first orators at Ottawa. Suffice to say, without much
flattery, the rank and file are all men of sterling abilities
and scholastic powers. Travellers of to-day have privi-
leges and facilities for getting round the country that the
pioneers of twenty and thirty years ago had not. In-
stead of driving over miles of rough corduroy roads we
have first-class gravel roads, good liveries, and No. 1
commercial waggons at reasonable prices. The country
is also lined with railways from the Pacific to the Atlantic,
and when we can't get a train to suit us we are not stuck, for
there are liveries in nearly all the small towns of Ontario.
Hotels are also much improved. Twenty years ago,
when the traveller would have to put up in a small log-
shanty, and glad to have it at that, how would some of
our high-toned men of to-day, who run down hotels, and
nothing is good enough for them, like such fare as that ?
I wonder if those who growl all the while at the hotels
of the present day were brought up in such style as
would guarantee them the attention and hotel room that a
duke or a lord should have ! It is very amusing to hear
and read some of the rehash regarding our present day
hotel accommodation ; nothing is good enough for some
chaps ; they are eternally finding fault, if not with the
sample rooms, or the table, probably the dining-room " gal '*
hasn't got the proper dress on to suit. I am glad we have
very few such narrow-contracted, proud-souled ignor-
amuses in our ranks, and the sooner they are out of them
the better for the associations and travellers at large.
Hotels all through the country aro kept in good style,
most of them first-class, but if the Duke of Edinburgh
should happen to strike Hanover, and have a suite of
rooms laid out for him there, then I know there are a
few on the road who would ride from Toronto to stay
there, for some are of opinion that the Rossin House,
Toronto, is the only hotel that suits them, because the
coming king of England put up there ; by the way, also
Mrs, Langtry.

'if

Hotel-keepers are a much abused lot of men and I am
going to defend them to the best of my abilities, and
make war to the knife with any one who scurrilizes the
men who make comfortable homes for us while on the
warpath and away from home. I am beginning early
with hotel-keepers, but I ma}'^ as well do it first as last.
What puzzles me now is where to begin. There are so
many first-class hotels, and so many genial gentlemen
running them, that I shall have to overlook some, and if
I do it is for lack of space. But not many of you will
object if I begin with the Grigg House, of London.

Yours truly, Saml. Griqg.

Grigg House.

Mr. Grigg is, without doubt, one of the most popular
hotel proprietors in Western Canada ; his quiet gentle-

PKSBMP

1
'I i

manly and unassuming manner at all times, recommends
himself to travellers of all dispositions, nationalities and
creeds. He has lately taken periodical trips to his farm in
the Noith- West. This magnificent farm is but six miles
from Brandon, and from what can be learned, Mr. Grigg
has chriscened it ' Rose Bank Farm." Travellers landing
in Brandon, take a run down to see how he is getting
along, and are treated by him in his usual genial and hos-
pitable manner.

It is to be hoped that he won't take up his abode per-
manently there, as the boys on the western and northern
peninsulas would miss a man so used to the wants and
cares of the travellers. He was at one time compelled
to hold an at home at Winnipeg. This speaks volumes
for Mr. Grigg's popularity.

Mr. Tom Grigg, his brother, and manager of the house,
is another of those men who holds a good position in the
hearts of the boys. His kind, generous and genial man-
ners, along with nis good looks, make Tom a great favor-
ite. There is one good quality he has, and it would be
good if all men had such a virtue You will always find
him the same, and it is almost impossible to make him
angry; but if he is once made angry, look out for squalls.

Mr. W. G. Webb, his assistant clerk, always looks well
^nd happy, and is always ready and willing to assign to
the boys the best rooms in the house — even to the bridal
chamber.

'Twas in the Grigg House I met McFarlane, the Scotch
grocery traveller, representing Masuret of London. Mc.
can " spoke the Gaelic so good as ferry few," and it
won't be out of place to give a few of Mc.'s Scotch
stories. By permission I give you one. This story is for
the benefit of the Scotch regiment :

Tonal McPherson started frae Glascae for New York.
He had rather a stormy passage across the Atlantic, but
as the wind was in oor favor the maist feck o' the time
we made guid progress and landed on the first o' Septem-

i' ; If

ber, ten days frae Glascae. After snoddin' up hissel, he
gied awa* ashore wi' his portmantel in hand, but hnd na'
travelled ten yards fra the ship's side when he was stopped
by a well-dressed "Billy." He says to him, "You cannot
leave the wharf till your baggage is examined." This
precaution was to prevent smuggling, for the Yankee
government charges tremendous prices on ah kind of im-
ported goods. He opened his portmantel, and to his saer
disgust the " Billy " gaed fumbling helter-skelter through
it, tumbling his guid claes a' thro* ither in a maist
unmerciful manner, looking for tobacco and sneechin.
Tonal was mad to see his guid Sunday coat and breeks
tossed out o' a' their faulds, and his dickies and hankies,
packet sae tosh and tidy by Aunty Mary atbre he sailed.
He could na' stan' it na' longer, and he says to the " Billy,"
"Gin I had ye at the top of o' Catterthun, my man, I'd gie
ye as coarse a handlin' as ye hae gien ma Sunday claes."
The " Billy " then took a piece o' kauk and scribbelt some
figures on his portmantel, and he left the wharf. After
awhile he came across a gay decent-looking hotel, where
he deposited his portmantel, and he set out for a dawner
thro' the city. He did na' think muckle o' the city,
especially part o' it. It was unco' like the business
streets o' Glascae or Dundee, but when he gaed ootside
among the avenues he did get a treat. They were wide,
straicht, and plant'd wi' trees at baith sides, and ilka
hoose was a mansion. He never heard or saw o' anything
like the grandeur o' the hotels, and kirks in this part o'
the town. They were far ayont his descriptive pooers
so he'll nae try to describe them. The public gardens
were fine and he was spell-bound wi' admiration o' the
rich rtooer-beds, flooers that at hame in Bonnie Scotland
we see only in the hot-hooses o' the rich. At the other
side o' the garden he saw the public park, and as he went
through it a muckle brute o' an insect as big as a sparrow
flew over his head. A gentleman was passing at the
time and he says, " Beg yer pardin, sir, but is that what

■I

■^

ye ca* a misketta ? " " Wall, yes ; that is a misketta.
Many of oor miskettas weighs a pound. Thinks he,
" sure enoch a' things are muckle-sized in this kintra, and
gie an American midge is as big as a sparrow, their
bumblebees mun be as big as bubly jocks, wi' stings like
scythes." Next day he found out the cause o' the
wrinkle, for the insect was a dragon-fly, and the chap
telt a muckle lee, for their miskettas are nae bigger than
oor Scotch midges, but the bite is so annoying that they
ocht to be ten times bigger; and gin ye hae a misketta
in yer bedroom ye needna try to sleep, his pooer is sae
great ye micht as weel try and sleep wi' a kicking
cuddy.

His Letter o' Introduction to Mr. Broon.

By this time he was getting tired of travelling round,
unaccustomed to such travelling in a city like New York.
He had a letter o' introduction to a Mr. Broon, a third
cousin o' his mither's, wha was said to be a wealthy and
important man, and wha would likely help him to get a
situation. He socht oot his hoose and found it, rang the
bell and was ta'en into the drawing-room. Mr. B. soon
appeared and treated him tae the greatest kindness and
civility, and he gaed him a hearty Scotch welcome.

In his letter to his friends in Scotland, regarding Mr.
Broon's welcome to him, he goes on to tell tiiem, "I spent
the feck o' the nicht wi' him and gaed back to his gay
hoose the next day, as he wanted to gie me a drive in his
buggy. I can tell ye I opened my twa een gay wide
when his groom, a smart-looking chiel, brocht it roon' to
the front door. It was sae different frae anything I had
ever seen afore. It had twa slim things o* wheels, and
twa lang thin shafts and as for the seat 'twas hardly
visible tae the naked e'e. At a distance the hale macKine
just minded me o' a muckle ettercap, and close in by
the wheels were like ettercap wabs wi' hubs nae stronger
lookin' than an auld spinning-wheel. The springs seemed

ujico' easy, but to all appearance they wad be as ^easy
caM asunder as kindlin'-wood o'er a body's knee. The
(lasher was nae bigger than a skool lady's sklate. After
this description ye can fancy that there was a handful o'
daylight shining through the thing. Just think o' twa
muckle men trusting their banes in the outside o' sic a

Mr. Broon giving Tonal McPherson a 2.20 Drive.

like trap. Weel, we mounted the thing but the seat was
sae sma' that it took it a' its might tae hand us baith.
Mr. Broon said it was a three-quarter seat, and weel I
wat he was nae far wrang as ^here was a quarter part o'
baith o' us hingin' over the sides. The thing had nae
railing at the back o' the seat, and hoo a body was to bide
in it was a problem I had yet to solve, as he wad hae tae

be mighty carefu' in case he'd gae off the plum'. The
horse was a braw beast, wi' harness sae licht that it lookit
for all the world lik a lot o' pencil marks across this way
and down that way wi' a stripe o' sheepskin at his breast
and another at his hurdles. Mr. Broon was what ye'd ca' a
*guid whip' and he showed nae little science in naviga-
tion thro' the crooded streets. We gaed oot on the
Brighton Road, and never tae ma dying day will I forget
ma nervish feelings. During the next half hoor a man
cam' up in another trap and as he was ga'en tae pass us
I got a glimpse o' his giggle. Hoo in a' the world it could
baud a man was a puzzler tae me, for it was nae half the
size o* oors. The moment he cam' abreast o' us oor
beastie cocket his lugs as if it was used to it ; Mr. Broon
gae'd a bit chuck, at the same time telling me tae baud
on, as he was going tae let the horse oot. la half a
minute we were flying thro' the air like lightning, the
liorses sae near thigither that they appeared like blocks o'
buildings ; the trees seemed to be rushing the other way,
and the milestanes cam' in yic quick succession that I
thought 1 was passing through a country kirkyard. At
this time I was handing my breath, darin' only to breath
noo and again for fear o' fauing oot o' the thing. By and
by Mr. Broon pulled up, having clean licket the ither
chap, and he lookit roon' ma way to see hoo I was enjoy-
ing it. Noo the rain the night afore had made the
roads rather cJarty and I was a' covered frae head tae
shins wi' glour. Says I, * Mr. Broon, if that is what ye
ca' letting yer horse oot, I hope the next time ye'll stop
and let me oot.'"

The City Hotel is next in order, run by James and
John McMartin. This hotel is run in first-class style, and
is the headquarters of Scotchmen. The Herd Laddie
visits it when in London, and Mr. Donnelly says it is the
best run hotel in the country. Mr. D. makes it his home.
It is now beautifully fitted up, having in connection a

fine billiard parlor, from which the boys reap a good and
profitable harvest. The McMartin Brotliers are noted
for their hospitality, and are great favorites amongpt the
commercial fraternity. It was in the City Hotel I sold
the first bill of goods when 1 started out in my commer-
cial career. Mr. Donnelly who is well-known to all trav-
ellers for his ready wit and Irish brogue, will, with the
rest of us, say a good word about the McMartin Brothers,
and by his kind permission 1 shall endeavor to relate a
little episode of his ready humor.

At one time Mr. D. travelled as a missionary, or rather
to strange hotel-keepers he passed himself off as one,
especially when it came to paying his bill. I chanced to
be in the same hotel with Mr. D. over night, and when
settling the bill he asked the landlord with an air of
serenity becoming a missionary if he'd not been in the
habit of making special rates for missionaries. The
landlord paused and looked at him, and said, ** Well, I
suppose we must, but I was not aware that you were a
missionary. Where might your headquarters be, please?"
" It's none of your business,' replied Mr. Missionary.
"You let me go free as all good Christians and gentlemen
ought to, and I'll tell you where my headquarters are."

He is always on the alert to lay himself out for some
fun at someone else's expense. Mr. Donnelly was at
Bothwell one time waiting a west-bound train, and as he
is an inveterate smoker and a strict teetotaller he has a
fashion while waiting for a train at the station to pace the
platform. This morning was a hot oe^ 24th May, 1879,
when there was a great crowd of excursionists waiting
the same train. He was, in his usual easy style, im-
patiently at heart, taking his smoke. He kept looking
round to see if he could see anyone to speak to. He
espied a leading Presbyterian minister. All at once he
thought to himself he would have a joke with liim. He
did not introduce himself, but went about in his old
cunning manner until he got an opportunity of laying

himself out for some fun. Here an Irish traveller.f ull of wit,
came into contact with a Scotch minister. Mr. D. addressed
the minister as follows, ** I say, sir, this is a very queer
country." " How," was the minister's query. " Because
there is nothing in this place but a lousy lot of ignorant
Scotchmen who don't know B from a bull's foot." Natur-
ally the minister, being a Highland Scotchman himself,
felt rather put out at the abrupt and crude remarks of
Mr. D., so asked him what grudge he had against the
Scotch. " Oh, they are a mean lot ; nobody has any faith
in them." " What are your reasons for thinking so?"
" They are not fit to be poundkeepers ; a dirty lot they
are, and although an Irishman I wish I was a born Cana-
dian." " Oh, well, you ought not to be ashamed of
Scotchmen." "Why oughtn't I?" says Mr. Donnelly.
By this time he was getting at his point, when the minis-
ter began to eulogize such Scotchmen as the Right Hon.
Sir J no. A. Macdonald, at the head of affairs in Ottawa,
and Prime Minister of Canada. " Look again at the Hon.
Oliver Mowat, at the head of affairs in Toronto, Premier
of the Local Legislature, and the Hon. Alexander Macken-
zie, the Erasers, the Macphersons, Rosses, Mackellars, etc.,
are they not a credit to Scotland and Scotchmen, to be
at the head of affairs ?" Mr. I), listened quietly until the
minister was through. He says, " Yes, you think Scotch-
men rule our fair Dominion." " Yes, certainly they do."
" Well," replied Mr. D., "if you go down to h — 1 you will
find Scotchmen at the head of affairs there too."

Fred Vanderlip, manager of the City Hotel, London,
is an old-time commercial man, and I am sorry that I
can't afford space to give some of Fred's interesting stories.
Suffice to say, he is at a loss to know why his name is not
Vanderbilt, as he might chance to have come into a share
of the deceased Railway King's fortune ; however, Fred
says he's happy as a king as he is, and from appearances
it looks as if such was the case. It's a cold day when
Fred gets left. His motto is :

" A man's a man for a' that."

eer
use
ant
ur-

The 12th of July, 1882, I happened to be in Wiarton,
on the Georgian Bay. I was after getting back from
Lion's Head, a point twenty-two miles from Wiarton.
This is a drive that any traveller undertaking it won't
soon forget. In the summer time it is for six miles rocky,
and will take a cautious driver to get through it without
smashing something or breaking springs. Mr. Lee,
grocery traveller, undertook to drive through to
Wiarton from the Head on a dark night. He struck
a stump and was thrown from the rig into a big mud
hole and got beautifully dubbed over. In the winter
months the road is good, the huge rocks being covered
over with snow making good sleighing. Now there are
two boats per week plying between Lion's Head and
Tobermory from Wiarton, which will save the terrible
ordeal of going over the rocky roads to Dublin. I once
undertook the trip to the Head in a yacht. The captain,
Mr. Ely, proprietor of the Ely House, started with a fair
breeze, I may say a stiff sou'-wester. We made a splen-
did run to within five miles of our landing place when
the wind gave out and left us to the mercy of the huge
rollers of the Georgian Bay. After a while the wind
freshened, this time right off the land, and made it im-
possible for us to run into the Head ; so we had only one
choice to make, that was to run shore on one gf the
islands, and it was no easy task. After getting safely
anchored, we got ashore and lit a fire and made supper,
then went to roost with sails for our blankets. Mr. Ely
is a very early riser and this morning he got up earlier
than usual to take his morning walk. Whatever way he
mistook the water for land, he did so this morning. The
yacht was anchored with her bow towards the shore and
her stern in deep water. Anyone acquainted with the
waters of the Georgian Bay knows that from ten to
fifteen feet from the shore you will find from twelve to
twenty feet of water. This beautiful sunny morning
Mr, Ely thought he'd go ashore, Instead of going to the

bow of our craft he deliberately walked off the stem into
eighteen feet of water. Plump down to the bottom he
went. His first salute when coming to the surface was,
"Oh, my God, boys, throw me a rope! I jumped oft* the
stern of the bloody boat instead of going to the bow." Mr.
Ely is an excellent swimmer and he says water was
never flooded to drown him. We got up a good fire and
very quickly had his clothes dried, and about 8 a.m. we
started again for Lion's Head, gettint^f this time within a
mile of the wharf when we were left in the same fix.
This time a tug came to our rescue, and towed us in, thus
ending a two days' trip by water.

Lion's Head is a beautiful little place, picturesque in
the extieme. The scenery reminds one of some of our
mountainous ranges in Scotland. It derives its name
from a rock the shape of a lion's head on a high cliff as
you enter the harbor. Long weeds grow over it, which
resembles the mane of the lion. There is considerable
business done in the place. Messrs. Moore &; Vandusen,
of Harriston and Tara, and Webster Bros., are doing the
principal business, having full control of the lumbering
and mill business, also running a large dry goods store,
carrying a stock of from seven to ten thousand dollars.
This little place, situated as it is on the pure blue waters
of the Georgian Bay, will some day become a famous
summer resort. There is excellent trout-fishing and game
of all kinds in abundance. I could write a great deal
about this little inland village. Anyone taking a trip
there will be agreeably disappointed by its appearance,
etc.

Mr. Wm. Little, of the Confederation Life Insurance
Con)pany, and myself, had occasion to spend the 4th of
July, 1884, at Lion's He id. We were introduced to ex-
Chief Peter Jones, of the Chippawas, when he told us the
following interesting story of seventy-five years ago
Jones is now ninety -six years old. We found him a well-
informed and thoroughly educated man. He went on to
say:

" Seventy-fivo years a^o we (he and his squaw) camped
riirht ill this spot where we now stand, with other braves
and allies from the west and north shores of Lake Superior.
Wc attacked the enemy (i. e., the Black Hawks, now, I
believe, extinct). We pursued them clean from (Jape
Crocker to Montreal, where there was not a single soul
left to tell the tale, "^his famous battle was fought inch
by inch, and the pursnit was by canoes, except by port-
iiijes such as Nia<::ara Falls. I was one of the first Indians
who visited England to make a treaty, the first ever
made for Ontario Indians. I was introduced to Queen
Victoria in the second year of her reign. You see, gentle-
men, from the place we now stand the water of this lake
has, in seventy-five years, receded and tilled in some forty
rods," pointing to a certain spot where the wharf is now.
He said, " I speared a sturgeon that weighed 175 lbs., and
it was the largest I have ever seen. Our mode of spear-
ing was different from what it is to-day. Having no
ropes or cords we made tackle of rawhides, and from the
end of a line of this we struck our prey, and allowed
them to float around by the aid of a buoy till exhausted, .
then we'd haul them ashore. Deer, bears, wild cats,
partridge, rabbit and quail were very plentiful. We often
killed them with a strong stick and with stones."

We found the ex-Chief a most interestinsr and intelli-
gent conversationalist, and he gave us a cordial invitation
to visit him on his reserve at Cape Crocker, where he'^
will show us trophies and curiosities of those days, such
as stone spears, stone pipes, stone a^es, hatchets, stone
pots, cups and saucers, pans, toraaha .s, and many other
curiosities, all made out of stone. I need scarcely say
that Mr. L. and myself will very soon avail ourselves of
Mr. Jones' kind invitation. I regret exceedingly losing a
piece of poetry given us on the occasion of our visit
descriptive of that famous battle and his victory. When
I get it I shall have it published in Grip and translated
by the ex-Chief.

}i\ >

ill!

The nineteenth century is one of peace, plenty and
happiness in Canada, and I presume the commercial
travellers are a class who are apt to know and enjoy it.
Every day we are finding out something new, from spicy
stories amonost the fraternity to new customers on our
travels. Since the flood, nothing was thought of Noah's
ark, yet the persevering travelling explorers, at least, by
dint of hard and hazardous work, found the long lost
ship on Mount Ararat, and ere long we may be taking a
trip to New York to see the wonderful boat constructed
by the far sighted and wise Noah. It is not known
whether he was a commercial traveller or not, but he was
a man of commerce, and he might tor all we know have
given some weary travellers orders for stores to supply
his mighty ship.

Adam represented the Garden of Eden, but he found it
too big a concern for him to carry on alone, so he took
to himself a partner, and afterwards sold out for an apple.
It was a milliner bought him out, and we have lots of
her goods to-dav in the markets. Poor Adam did not
receive much thanks for his trouble, and I venture to say,
there are many Adams now on the road who get but
little thanks, who work hard day and night for their
diflferent gardens.

The Duke of Wellington, the hero of a hundred battles,
England's king soldier, had to fortify his house in Eng-
land against a rebellious mob.

Napoleon cared nothing for a million widows left in the
world to fight their own battles, nor did it move him to
see a million carcasses laid on a battle field so long as he
was emperor. Wholesale men are not intent to the inter-
ests and comforts of their soldiers while battling on the
road, so long as they pile up good orders and replenish
their pockets. In all things there are selfish aims and
motives, but it is gratifying to know that there are daily
improvements in this class, but yet there remains a
large space to be filled up. I have heard ministers

preach " The love of money is the root of all evil." The
Bible savs it and we dare not contradict it. Yet how
handy a good salary comes to a hard working traveller
who has a wife and little family depending on him.
Mone}' is what we depend on ; it is what we work for,
and it is what we expect to live for.

Robert Burns, Scotland's poet, I don't know whether
or not he was a commercial traveller, but he has travelled
a good deal in his time. I here quote a few lines from
his biograph^'cal sketch : " The Ayrshire Bard, so lauded
and lionized for a short period of his stormy and chequered
career, and comparatively so neglected during his few
later years, has at length risen to an elevation in the
affections of his countrymen, and of the lovers of song in
general, which has no parallel in the annals of literature.
Peer and peasant alike, the man of the highest culture
and the humblest mechanic and tiller of the soil, have
enshrined him in their heart of hearts. The shepherd on
Australian and New Zealand plains, the digger in Cali-
fornian and Columbian mines, the sailor on the deck, and
the soldier in the barracks, the colonist on the bank of
the St. Lawrence, and by the shores of the great American
1. kes, in short, wherever men of Scottish birth or descent
are found, there are the admirers of the Scottish poet
found, animated by a warmth of admiration which is
entirely exceptional."

This quotation is for the benefit of our Scotch brethren
on the road, and more especially to our Scottish baid, and
I hope our coming Robert Burns, Mr. J. D. Stewart ; I
may term him with honor the Travellers' Poet. Mr.
Stewart may well say, as did Burns to the noblemen and
gentlemen of the Caledonian Hunt, as he is the claimed
hero of Caledonian sports, and have no doubt, he has by
this time found a warm place in the hearts of many of
his countrymen and fellow Scotch travellers: "The poetic
genius of my country found me, as the prophetic Bard
Elijah did Elisha, and threw her inspiring mantle over me."

::|li 1 i

.Mr I

iiiiiii

I now have much pleasure in inserting (by permission)
Mr. Stewart's poem on the Highland Clans and the
Lucknow Caledonian Games : —

SONG— CHIEF McCRIMMON.

Ai R — ' ' Bonnie Dundee. ' '

By J. D. Stewart, Hamilton.

At the head of his clansmen McCrimmon you find,
The stalwart in figure and nohle in mind ;
Ever true to his trust, aye ready to lead",
A true Caledonian in word and in deed.

Chorus.

Then fill up your j^lass, fill it up to the brim,
With a ringing dd cheer we'll drink it to liini,
Who'll ever " Hold Fast " to the honors he's won,
Enwreathe 1 on our Motoo — we're " second to none.'

From the peak of Ben Lomond to far John O'Groat's,
The Gael cheers the heart with the pipe's thr'iling notes ;
And proudly each clan dons the tartan and feather,
Through warm sunny climes to the braes o' Balquhidder.

Chorus.

Huron and Bruce their thousands send here,
The yeomen and scions of the swift mountaineer,
With daughters as lovel}' in their Highland costume,
As the tints of the rose or the heather in bloom.

Chorus.

Here the feats of a Dinnie and Ross meet applause,
And McLennan enchants when the pibroch he blavvs ;
Here Mathieson excels on the light tripping toe,
And the Cummings, whose fleetness resemble the roe.

Chorus.

In the garb of old Gaul you will meet brither Scots,
Who have wandered afar frae their clay biggit cots,
To mingle and wrestle in the pastimes of youth
In a land ever famed for its valor and truth.

Chorus.

Then hurrah to old Lucknow the home of tho Celt,
Where the slogan is heard but the steel never felt,
Yet oft have the foes midst the smoke a- d the rattle
Felt their death telling charge that ended tlie battle.

September 12th, 1883.

Chorus.

The reader will not think me too Scotchy, as I am on
the Lucknow games, in which the travellers of all nation-
alties take deep interest. Mr. John Drumgole, a whole*
souled Irishman, who sings " Bonnie Mary of Argyle " in
tine style, one would imagine he was a Scot ; before I'm
done I may bring him. out a Scotchman. Leviolete, of
French descent, claims and is proud of having Scotch
blood in his veins, another enthusiast of Caledonian sjjorts.
Don't let me bore you with Scotch eulogies. I am com-
ing to Englishmen and Irishmen, and I must not forget
our German soldiers of the road. Before going further I
will dwell on Lucknow and its clansmen. As for hotels, I
have nothing of account to say about them ; we want
better ones in Lucknow. Lucknow has many stalwart
and fine looking clansmen, in the persons if McCrim-
mons, Campbells, Camerons, Stewarts, McLeods, Mclntyres,
McKinnons, McGregors and Kerrs. I don't know if Mr.
Fred Grundy claims clanship, anyhow he is business from
head to foot, and he is a first-class and most interesting
conversationalist.

As there are a goodly number of Highland men in
Lucknow and on the road, it may be interesting to quote
from the History of the Highland Clans what the brave
and godly Brigadier-General Havelock said in addressing
the 78th Highlanders, after the taking of Cawnpore, and
afterwards at the taking of Lucknow in 1857. He said :
" I have been engaged in action seven-and-twenty times ;
but in the whole of my career I have never seen any
legiment behave better, nay more, I have never seen any
one behave so well, as the 78th this day. I am proud of
you, and if ever I have the good luck to be made a

■ I- H 'I

tSSB^BBsaemmi

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li!

Major-General, the first thing I shall do will be to go to
the Duke of Cambridge and requ ,st that when my turn
arrives for the colonelcy of a regiment, 1 may have the
78th Highlanders. And this, gentlemen, you hear from a
man who is not in the habit of saying more than he
means. I am not a Highlander, but I wish I was one."

There are clans (tartans), viz. : The Stewart, Argyle
Campbell, Maclean, Forbes, Sutherland or 93rd, Mac-
dougal, Mackinnon, Macneil, Grant, Robertson, Menzies,
Macdonald, Breadalbane, Campbell, McGregor, Chisholm,
Ross, Cameron of Lochiel, Farquharson, Macintosh, Mac-
leod, and Mackenzie, 71st and 78th Macintyre, Macnabb,
Mackay, Gunn, Full Dress Macpherson, Macnaughton,
Munro, Maclachlan, Fraser, McFarlane.

Malcolm Campbell of Lucknow is one of its oldest and
respected merchants, and does a large and prosperous
business, and it may not be out of place to give a few
quotations from the Highland clans, regarding this great
clan of antiquity : —

Badge, Myrtle. Ne ohlivis caris, vix ea nostra voco.
The clan Campbell has been one of the most numerous
and powerful in the Highlands. The name is by some
stated to have been derived from a Norman knight named
De Campobello, who came to England with William the
Conqueror. As respects the latter part of the statement,
it is to be observed that in the list of all the knights who
composed the army of the Conqueror on the occasion of
his invasion of England, and which is known by the name
of the roll of Battle Abby, the name of Campobello is not
to be found. Skene closes a long^ and flattering eulogy
on the clan by saying no clan can boast of purer Celtic
blood than the Campbells. There are the Argyle Camp-
bells, the Breadalbane, and Campbells of Glenurchy. The
force of the clan was in 1427, 1,000; in 1715, 4,000; and •
in 1745, 5,000. Although each branch of the Campbells
had its own peculiar arms, still there runs through all a
family likeness, the difference generally being very small.

All the families of the Campbells names bears the oared
galley in their arms, showing the connection by origin or
intermarriage with the western Gaels, the island kings,
Breadalbane quarters with the Stewart of Lome, having
for supporters two stags, with the motto, " Follow me."
I could fill a whole book about the different clans, but
I cannot pass without a few remarks on the clan Cameron.

ra voco.

le name

Malcolm Campbell.

Allan, surnamed MacOchtry, or the son of Uchtred, is
mentioned by tradition as the chief of the Camerons in
the reign of Robert the Second, and according to the same
authority, the clan Cameron and the clan Chattan were
the two hostile tribes between whose champions (thirty
against thirty) was fought the celebrated combat at
Perth in the year 1396, before King Robert the Third

t!l

with his nobility and court. As far back as can
distinctly be traced this tribe had its seat in Lochaber,
and appears to have Vjeen first connected with the
House of Isla in the reign of Robert Bruce. Their
more modern possessions of Lochiel and Locharkaig,
situated on the western side of the Lochy, were origin-
ally granted by the Lord of the Isles to the founder of the
clan Ranold, from whose descendants they passed to the
Camerons. Lochiel with his brave Camerons at the battle
of Killiecrankie headed them to victory. This heroic and
chivalrous Cameronian chief survived till the year 1719,
when he died at the age of ninety, leaving a name dis-
tinguished for bravery, honor, consistency, and disinter-
ested devotion to the clan to which he so long and ably
supported.

I must not pass by the clans Stewarts of Lome, the
Stewarts of Athole, and the Stewarts of Baiquhidder,
from one or other of which all the rest have been derived.
How the Stewarts of Lome acquired that district is told
in an account of clan McDougall. The Stewarts of Lome
were descended from a natural son of John Stewart, the
last Lord of Lome, who, with the assistance of the Mac-
Larens, retained forcible possession of part of his father's
estates. From this family sprang the Stewarts of Appin,
in Argyleshire, who, with the Athole branches, were con-
sidered in the Highlands as forming the clan Stewai't.
The badge of the original Stewarts was the oak, and of
the Royal Stewarts, the thistle.

In the end of the fifteenth century, the Stewarts of
Appin were vassals of the Earl of Argyle in his lordship
of Lome. In 1493 the name of the chief was Dougal
Stewart. He was the natural son of John Stewart, the
last Lord of Lome, and Isabella, eldest daughter of the
first Earl of Argyle. The assassination of Campbell of
Calder, guardian of the young Earl of Argyle, in February,
1592, caused a feud between the Stewarts of Appin and
the Campbells, the effects of which was long felt. During

as can
)chaber,
Lth the
Their
larkaig,
1 origin-
sr of the
J to the
le battle
foic and
ir 1719,
ime dis-
lisinter-
nd ably

>rne, the
uhidder,
derived,
t is told
f Lome
rart, the
he Mac-
father's

Appin,
ere coll-
ate wart.

and of

varts of
lordship

Dougal
art, the
r of the
pbell of
ebruary,
pin and

During

the civil wars, the Stewarts of Appin ranged themselves
under the banners of Montrose, and at the battle of lnver>
lochy, 2nd February, 1645, rendered the chivalrous noble-
man good service. They and the cause which they upheld
were opposed by the Campbells.

Between the Stewarts of Invernahyle and the Camp-
bells of Dunstaffnage there existed a bitter feud, and
about the beginning of the sixteenth century, the former
family were all cut off but one child, the infant son of
Stewart of Invernahyle, by the chief of Dunstaffnage,
called Cailein Uaine, " Green Colin." The boy's nurse
fled with him to Ardnamurchan, where her husband, the
blacksmith of the district, resided. The latter brought
him up to his own trade, and at sixteen years of age he
could wield two fore-hammers at once, one in each hand,
on the anvil, which acquired for him the name of Domh-
null Nauord, or Donald of the Hammers.

So much for the Stewarts. Next come the Urquharts.
Mr. Urquhart, one of the oldest and most respected boot
and shoe travellers on the road, another enthusiast of the
Caledonian games, it may be interesting to give a few
outlines of his clan. Urquhart is the name of a minor
clan originally settled in Cromarty (badge, the wild flower),
a branch of the clan Forbe"s. Nisbet says : " A brother
of O'Chonchar, who slew the bear, and was predecessor of
the Lords Forbes, having in keeping the castle of Urqu-
hart, took his surname from that place." This castle stood
on the south side of Loch Ness, and was in ancient times
a place of great strength and importance, as is apparent
from its extensive and magnificent ruins. In that fabu-
lous work the true pedigree and lineal descent of the
most ancient and honorable family of Urquhart since
the creation of the world, by Sir Thomas Urquhart,
Knight of Cromarty, the origin of the family and name
is ascribed to Ouroh-Artos, that is, " fortunate and well
beloved ;" the familiar name of Esarmore, of whom the
eccentric author describes himself as the one hundred and

\ i

I iii '

twenty-eighth descendant. He traces his pedigree, in n
direct line, even up to Adam and Eve, and somewhat
inconsistently makes the word Urquhart have the same
meaning as Adam, namely " red earth."

The family of Urquhart is one of great antiquity. In
Hailes' Annals, it is mentioned that Edward I. of Eng-
land, during the time of the competition for the Scottish
crown, ordered a list of the sheriffs of Scotland to be
made out. Among them appeared the name of Wm.
Urquhart, of Cromarty, heritable sheriff of the county.
He married a daughter of Hugh, Earl of Ross, and his
son Adam obtained charters of various lands. A descen-
dant of his, Thomas Urquhart of Cromarty, who lived in
the 16th century, is said to have been father of eleven
daughters and twenty-five sons ; seven of the latter fell
at the battle of Pinkie, in 1547, and from another des-
cended the Urquharts of Newhall, Monteagle, Kinbeachie
and Braelaugwell.

There is a great deal more about the clan Urquhart,
but I must not take too much space. I would like to
say something about our English, Irish and German tra-
vellers. The Irishman is witty, the Scotchman is cun-
ning, the Englishman for beef, the German for bologna
sausage.

I will now pass on and say a few words about a departed
brother traveller, well known to every traveller in Canada,
and it is needless for me to eulogize him, being a most
intimate friend and companion of my own, and having
represented the same house, my pen is inadequate to the
occasion. Everj'- traveller has read, I have no doubt, the
able and intellectual biographical sketch in the Commer-
cial Traveller of our departed brother, Thomas H. Taylor,
of Guelph. I have endeavored to compose a few lines to
his memory

Thos. H. Taylor.

ON THE DEATH OF THOMAS H. TAYLOR.

Died at Guelph, 1882.

Man, may come and man may go, hut God goes on for ever.

COMPOSKD SHORTLY AFTER HIS DEATH.

Must we say farewell to one more brother,

We do, 'tis sad to say ;
He's now reposed in silent slumber,

Quiet and cold beneath earth's cold c)'"'v.

We miss him, yes, we miss him sorely,

And think of him most every day,
But hope to meet him yet sojourning in brighter land,

At great God's final judgment day.

I'M

I -M

fejii

■j*'_2L[,

In childhood's days he left green Erin's Isle,
And crossed the mighty dark blue sea,

And while in manhood, youth and beauty.
Cut from our midst by grim death was he.

The Rose, the Shamrock, nor the Thistle

Now hath no charms for him,
But the Maple Leaf of our fair Dominion,

Waves gently over his silent tomb.

Under its banner now we stand,

And still, we travel on,
And will think of him for many years,

Although he's dead and gone.

A 8 we are travelling here below,

We'll yet land on that distant shore,

There meet him with the angels
In glory evermore.

Farewell, brother, we must say ;

O, 'tis farewell for ever,
Thou'fet gone from this dreary earth of ours.

When dearest friends must sever.

Tho' long and hard they struggle for dear life.

At last thou did'st suceimb.
And cow thy dust sweetly reposes

In still death's cold sib nt tomb.

We sail along in the same bark,

Captained hy the same mighty hand,

The winds blow stro' g, and waves roll high,
We fight, we tight for that same land,
Where thou, dear brother, hast gone.

I I

A -Winter Night's Exper[ence Driving in a Snow

Storm.

In the winter of 1877, I arrived in Wingbam about
noon in January, got through business lu good time, and,
owing to the blockades on the road, I could get no train

I;!' ' *

I I

;

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to bring mc to Lncknow. About <S o'clock .at niju^bt, by m
streak of luck, 1 got a team. As it snowed and drifted
livery men were afraid to let their horses out. The next
difficulty was to procure a man to drive. Not a man in
Wingham would venture, the night being dark, dreary
and boisterous. Martell, a good-natured German, who
at that time kept the Queen's Hotel, volunteered to go
with me. In doing so he mu t needs ask his wife's per
mission. Mart, says, " Chust vait, Chon, till I see vot
my wife vill say." He went to tlie kitchen where
his wife was making plum pu<ldings for next day's
dinner. Addressing her, he says, " Misses, mc going to
Lucknow the night vid Chon." " Vel, Mart., you most
be madt to go out a nidt lik dis." " Vel, Chon bees
a goot freend ov mine, and I cannot refuse him, for he
can't gets no one go vid im, and you and Ben vill do tell
I comes back." Mart, .shortly emerged from the kitchen
smiling, and says, " All right, Chon, got your team i-eady."
It was about half-past nine, and how the wind howled !
The snow came down thick and heavy, and the night was
dark and dreary. Nevertheless, I must needs go to Luck-
now. After getting trunks into the sleigh anc 'lourishing
the inward man, we started, snugly covered with buffalo
robes, with old Mart, at the reins. The roads were fair
till we came to Whitechurch, where Mr. Henderson kept,
and still keeps, a neat little store. I had to call oh Mr.
H., being an old and esteemed customer. There being no
hotels in the place I persuaded him to drive with us into
Lucknow, where he could see to advantage my samples.
After happing well, we all started. We only went a very
shoi't distance when we struck a snow-bank and over we
went, trunks and occupants hurly-burly into the ditch,
and although the night was dark, stormy and cold, we
had a good laugh at ourselves, and also a good sweat, for it
^ no easy task lifting 25()-pounders in deep soft snow,
and high bob-sleighs. During the time Mart, and myself
were putting the trunks uii, Mr. Henderson stood almost

:io

Freezing at tlie lioiscs'licads, calling out, " Fortiod's sake,
hurry up boys ; I'm cold." After getting again snugly
seated and wrapped in the robes, another start was made.
VVe certainly were condoling ourselves on getting off so
easily in the first upset. We only went about two miles
onward when over we went again. Mart, being driving,
his side went, and Henderson and I went too, and acvually
buried Mart, in the snow. Mart, could be heard a mile
oft' hollering, •' Oh, mine Got, I am drowne^^ ; hurry me
out o' dis snow." After Henderson and myself gathered
ourselves, we dug Mart. out. I asked him how he felt.
" O, I veels booley. Say, Chon, where's de flask. Mine Got,
I must have a drink before I touch dem drunks again."
After a little fumbling the Hask was found, and Mart, and
I certainly enjoyed our drink, but Hendei"son being a
teetotaler could not, even under such trying circumstances,
and in such cold, be induced to taste our medicine. About
this time Mr. Hendc son began to feel as if he wished he
had not come, and that he was at home snugly with his
wife. But the worst had to come. About a mile and a
half from the famous Lucknow, we upset badly. By this
time upsetting was beginning to get overdone. The third
and last was a sneezer, as it took thirty-five minutes to
get loaded and righted. Henderson kindly volunteered
to lead us, and to keep himself warm and his blood in
circulation; he went ahead of the horses and guided us,
until we beheld the lights of long looked for Lucknow,
when our cold hearts leaped for joy. Mr. Henderson, I
have no doubt, remembers this memorable trip.

"The life of a commercial traveller is a terrible one, if
this is a specimen of what you boys have to contend with,"
says Mr. Henderson. Yes, " It is not all gold that glitters,"
and a traveller's life is one surrounded with many diffi-
culties. On Monday morning he leaves his loving wife
and sweet little family for a hard week's work, whether
by rail or by team. If by rail, he gets the fast train to
his first destination. Afterwards he must take his chances

III

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rrrsssB

mm I

■; ]fUr

to ride on a freight, or local, as it is called. In m^^ expe-
rience it's k slow freight with a caboose attached. In
this caboose a poor weary traveller has to make the best
of his time of two or three hours to make a small town
fifteen or twenty miles distant. For instance, a train,
a local I should say, on the Canada Southern was timed
at Button 4.23 p.m. I hurried to get my business through
to catch her ; got to the station at 4 sharp, leaving 23
minutes for baggage checking, etc. I had time to go back
and have tea, and time to walk round the village for four
hours. This is only a little of what our good nature has
to bear with. However, this is not the company's fault,
as there is a mail traivi east and west daily, and there are,
I would imagine, three or four expresses each way. If
the compan}^ would open their hearts a little, and give us
a few more stoppages between St. Thomas and the centre,
it would be a great boon to us. I am getting away from
my subject. A bad week's business with bad weather is
apt to prey on the mind, so mud so as to unfit him for
business. Instead of carrying a sour and morose coun-
tenance, we must have an afiable smile for every one.
This, in short, is a forced smile. Our hotel-room and fare
in some out of the way place is not very palatable. The
hardships we have to go through, no ma,tter, rain or sun-
shine. Yet how few people outside a commercial tra-
veller know the first stage of our work and responsi-
bilities. It may be a grunt here, and a growl there from
a short-grained customer ; it may be a twenty-mile drive
to see a customer you expect a good order from ; when
you arrive, you find he's gone the night before to some
little village fair, and if the assistant clerk is queried
about the chance of getting an order if you wait his
return, you get the unwelcome news, " O, you need not,
for he's bought already." " Well, now, this is too bad, as
he promised me his order." Now-a-days to rely on mer-
chants' promises is folly, for in my own expeiience I
have been fooled a thousand times. On the other liand,

there is no class of men watched closer and censured
more severely than the commercial traveller, and it would
be well for those who are prone to cast reflections to
pause for a moment and consider what we have to con-
tend with, the amount of work, and the harships we have
to endure for the maintenance of our families, and I am
sure all reasonable people outside the Grangers would
sympathize some for us. We must not complain, oh no,
if we do, we are put down as kickers. We must take
everything as calml}^ as possible ; pay our hotel bills, no
matter how large, and go away and say nothing, but think
as much as we like. If the firm represented does not
have word or orders every day, in a short time on comes
a stickler, asking " What's the matter ? Where have
you been ? We are surprised," etc., etc., with such ques-
tioning as would puzzle a Beecher or a Talmage.

I will take the liberty of quoting from the Govwiercial
Traveller of September, 1883, so ably edited by Mr. John
Goss, a few lines regarding the traveller : " He is the
most patient man in the world ; he never complains nor
kicks at his treatment, nor the size of his bills ; he knows
it would avail him nothing ; and no matter how much he
may be insulted, the interest of his house, and his per-
sonal reputation, especially if he wishes to escape being
termed a crank, demands that he humbly submits to the
inevitable. It is but just to say that the traveller is just
as good as any body else, and considering his hardships,
temptations, privations and opportunities, behaves much
better then he gets credit for. It is to him largely that
the wholesale business men of the country owe their
prosperity and trade to-day. And without his monthly
visits the retail merchants all over the countiy would
scarcely know what to buy. To say the least, th«.^ com-
mercial men of the country are entitled to better treat-
ment than they receive at many hands."

Robert Burns, Scotland's poet, did not forget to eulogize
the commercial traveller in his day, as he co. posed the

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following epitaph on a Mr. Kennedy, representing at that
time a wholesale house, on his recovery from a severe
illness : —

THOMAS WAS HIS FRONT NAME.

*' As Taru the uhapinan, on a day,
Wi' death for'gather'd by the way,
Weel pleased, he greets a wight sae faiiujus,
And death was nae less pleased wi' Thomas.
Wha carefully lays down the pack
And there plows i\\) a hearty crack.
His social. Iriendly honest heart,
Sae tickled death, they couldna part ;
Sae, after viewing knaves and garers,
Death takes hiiu hame to gie him quarters."

Harry Dallas is a ^right jolly good fellow. He along
with seven more of us were suddenly snowed in at
Paisley, on the Wellington, Grey and Bruce. He would
give us nightly his favorite song, entitled, " Sandy he
belonj^s to the mill and the mill belongs to Sandy still."
The Paisley boys are great curlers, and we managed to
get up a match between the Paisley ites and the travellers,
with Harry at our head as captain. " What am I to say
when the stone is a-coming?" says Harry. "Swooper'up!"
" And what more ? " " Give it the out twist, then give her
the in twist." " Is that all ? " " Och, nae mun, is that
all ye ken about curling? When ye throw yer last
stane, hit *em all from the T but your ain." " I have it
now." We played the boys, and beat them one shot.
Harry was hoarse for a week afterwards, and any one
who talked curling to him he'd run a block to get out of
his way. It's a jolly life to be snowed up.

It may be interesting now to say a few words about
an afternoon's fishing expedition at Mildmay. Mr. Ely
Salyards, the genial proprietor of the Commercial, is a
great tisher. He sometimes fishes for days for frogs.
" Oh," Ely says, " Frogs are a treat to the boys when they
come round in season." "We are going frog-fishing, John,

will yon come alortg ? " " Who's all going, Ely ? " " Well,
tilde's Jim and Jack from Montreal, and Fred from
Toronto, myself and Tim, and, be goliys youriielf, ii" you
come, and won't we make a jolly crew ? " '* Where are
you going ? " " Why, man, to the old place, of course,
Lakelet." " I am afraid, Ely, I can't spare the time."
" Come along, my boy, and bring your samples, and you

mav oet an order from " " Who ? From Dulmage ?

All right, I'll go. Are you taking any provisions and
stimulants ? " " Why, man, look here ; two kegs lager,
no whiskey, fifty sausages, five pounds of cheese, fifteen
pounds of bolognas, seven loaves, two bottles of pickles,
one bottle of preserves, three pounds of good butter bought
from W. H. Schneider, and what more do you want ? "
" I am quite satisfied with your bill of fare, Ely, l)ut I
want W. H. Schneider to come along with us." Billy was
at the station loading a car of potatoes for a Toronto pro-
duce house. He was sent for in haste on im})ortant
business. After some bafiling with him we got him
harnessed, and away we went for Lakelet, at the rate of
ten miles an hour, arriving there in good season. After
some refreshments, we made for the lake as quickly as
possible. There being but two boats for the paity, we
had to arrange as well as we could for safety, as all were
anxious to go out to hook bass, frogs or anything that

came

along.

I was fortunate enough in getting the
biggest boat, and four of us boarded her with rods, etc.,
prepared for battle against the finnies. Ely had the small
boat and was almost stuck for lack of room, but a good
Samaritan came along who hatl a boat, and for a bottle of
Ely's, or some other one's lager, the boat was secured, thus
making his care a good deal lighter. We all steered for
different points on the lake, but at any time we were not
ten rods distant from each other. The catch was large
to begin with, and everything went well until a match
was begun to see who'd catch the most -fish and frogs.
Ely Salyards, of course, being an oM hand and knowing

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the best points in tlie lake, we thought, would come out
ahead. He was certainly making great progress, when all
of a sudden we heard a splash and a yell, " Ely is over-
board ! " and on looking round we saw him sprawling in
the water, making for the shore. Being an expert swim-
mer he soon reach te/rra firrrM, and Tim from Montreal
hauled him out. Now the question arose, " Who caught
the biggest fish ? " Ely said he did, as his large one
weighed a pound and three-quarters. " Well," says Tim,
" mine weighed one hundred and seventy-five pounds."
" Well, that would be a fish and no mistake," says Ely.
*' Well, that's yourself. Did I not fish you out this morn-
ing ? " " Come, boys, this is my treat," says Ely, and he
began to sing, " There's no place like hame ; Hame, hame,
sweet, sweet hame," and we went hame all of us, well
pleased with our day's fun at Lakelet.

1 cannot go by Mildmay without a few more remarks.
As is well-known to many it is a favorite trout-fishing
resort, and some years ago some fine specimens of the
speckles were caught in Murray's Dam and in streams
around, and in the trout-fishing season dozens are to be
seen fishing round the vicinity. Travellers at times, if
waiting a train and have a few hours to spare. I have
often availed myself of a few hours trout-fishing at this
place. In July, 1883, four of us went to Murray's Dam
for an afternoon's fish. We liad three punts ; two of us
got into one, and two travellers had a boat apiece. We
got into the middle of the dam when all of a sudden one
of the boys hooked a big trout. All was excitement ;
who was to get the next ? W. H. Schnieder and the
traveller were in one boat. W. H. thought he'd get out
of the boat on to a loff. While on the ioof Mr. Traveller
thought he'd take a spin round the dam, Hanlan fashion.
He went winding round logs and stumps, of which there
are many, when all of a sudden he struck a snag and
over he goes, and here he was sprawling in the water
calling for assistance. We soon got him out and had

him on terra firma. His first wor<ls were, when on dry
land, " By the gods, boys, I thought I could swim." So
'tis well to know the art of swimming.

Travellers now-a-days can do but little on the road but
the firms find it out. being surrounded by telegraphs,
telephones, etc., and it is an astonishing fact that employ-
ers will believe anything bad about their travellers ; and
is this not doing us unjustice, that our good acts are not
reported ? If Ave go to church on Sunday, we won't be
leported. If we are caught praying instead of drinking
a little wine, which is good for the stomach, at least that
is what the word of God says, no report goes. I'm now
on the commercial spy. He may be a traveller, but I
hope not ; if so, and if known, give him a wide berth.
He goes to church on Sunday, takes in the essence uf a
good practical sermon, goes home to his room at night,
and, 0, what a prayer he lifts up on high, thanking God
he's not like other men, nor those who do naughty things
on the road. But here is a man that would not hesitate
to steal his poor grandmother's nightshirt. I would
sincerely hope that there is no commercial traveller mean
enough to stoop to the spy business. I have never heard
of one, and hope 1 won't.

Travellers are a class of men who, when a number get
together of a night after business is over, want to have a
little jollification. It was on one of these nights I chanced
to meet about a baker's dozen of the boys in Lucknow.
It happened to be one of those months in which politics
ran high, there being a great number of eminent politi-
cians on hand for a banquet to be given that night in
Whitley's hotel. The boys were all invited, we being a
mongreiized lot, of both shades of political views, we
laid that part of the programme aside, and in a body sat
down oo a sumptuous su})per. Mr. Fred Grundy in the
chair Songs and speeches were in order, after filling
the inner man. 'Twas on this occasion I found out we
had men of political ability in our i-anks. Mr, John

Ilil

])i'umgole, of London, representing Reid's wholesale crock-
ery establishment, was one of the guests, and he not only
made his beautiful songs tell, but in response to the com-
mercial interests made a speech, and for clear headedness
and scholastic power J thought I would, by his permission,
give it in the columns of this little work, and I have no
doubt all will be pleased with it. This is verbatim, as I
took it down myself, fresh and warm from his lips. I
want the reader to understand that I lay all political
notions aside.

Mr. D. being called upon to respond to the toast'
" Commercial Interests of Canada," said : —

Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen,

I am highly flattered by being called upon to res-
pond to so responsible a toast, namely, *' the commercial
interests of Canada."

I know there are many in this assembly to-night who
could do better justice to the subject than I can. How-
over, being now on my feet, my only salvation is to go
thi'ough with it as best I can.

You are aware, Mr. Chairman and gentlemen, that I
am only a commercial traveller — not an orator nor a
politician — but being invited here on such an auspicious
occasion, I must do my utmost in honor of the guest of
the evening to respond.

The commercial interests of Canada, Mr. Chairman
and gentlemen, is a subject that would take a Disraeli, a
Gladstone, and might I say a Pitt, nay more a Macdonald,
to respond to ! We have to-day at the head of affairs a
Macdonald, who is worthy the name. Though myself an
Irishman, I am very much attached to the Scotch. For
why? Here is a man who has furthered the commercial
interests of Canada, who has formed national confedera-
tion, who is at the present time pushing forward one of
the greatest works known to Canadian or British people,
namely, the Canada Paci^c Kailway.

I have no doubt, gentlemen, there are many who
would not coincide with me in this. There are men of
different shades of politics, at present I exclude all poli-
tics, and am as much a reformer as I am a conservative ;
but laying all such aside, I say that the present Govern-
ment deserve credit for the manner in which they
have grappled with the gigantic undertaking, and that
they will carry it through no one doubts. This, Mr.
Chairman and gentlemen, is one of the greatest under-
takings for a Government, commonly speaking, ever
known in the annals of history, and one which I have no
doubt will in the great future benefit us commercially.

Knowing that there are here to-night men of both
shades of politics, I do not mean to make this a party
political speech, what I mean to say is this : let us give
to the men in power a hearty support, so long as they do
what we think is right.

It would be out of place for me to make a speech detri-
mental to my own party, but I will say, and as all honest
men will say, party or no party, as soon as I find they
are not deserving my support, away they go. And in
conclusion, the only thing I regret is, that we have not
in Parliament a representative from the commercial tra-
vellers. I might say a Grit and a Tory. We have the
material, and that is well-known. I thank you kindly
lor the honor conferred upon me to respond to the
commercial interests of Canada. (Loud cheers, and cries
of " What about crockery?")

Well, gentlemen, crockery has nothing to do with the
commercial interests of Canada. It has, but not in my
response, and as I am representing one of the largest
crockery houses in Western Ontario, I have the honor of
saying, they are well pleased, commercially speaking,
with the aspect of affairs. (Loud cheers.)

After Mr. Drumgole's speech came a song suitable to
the occasion, by himself, entitled " Fair Canada."

We can boast of men of intellect on the road, and I

!:H

have no doubt there are men in our ranks who could «i^ivo
better justice to a work of this kind than I, and could do
it well if an attempt was made. However, it is exactly
the same throughout the world, so far as ability goes, and
a great deal of talent is lost, for the want of a little
courage. Every day sends to the grave a number of
obscure men who have only remained in obscurity because
timidity prevented them tVom making a first attempt.
The fact of the matter is, if we want to do anything in
this world worth doing, we must not stand out in the
cold, shivering and thinking, but plunge in and scramble
through the best way we can. Waiting for opportunities
did well before the flood, where a man could consult liis
friends upon an intended publication for a hundred and
fifty years, and then live to see his success afterwards,
but to-day a man waits and doubts and asks his friends
and the first he knows he is seventy years old. The
same will apply to the traveller, he must not wait but go
straight ahead, and to make a successful man, push,
energy and close application to business should be his
motto. It i- a very easy matter for a traveller to become
disheartened, and there are few on the road to-day who
have not had to contend with the " no business" cry. In
most cases it is the fear of the employers that keeps the
traveller's mind in an uproar, for I am justified in saying
that many employers know as little about selling mer-
chandise on the road as a pig knows about plum puddings.
And 1 come home after a dull week's journey. Oh, the
looif you get would be enough to pierce an old castle
wall, instead of a good shake of the hand, and " Well, you
did your best ; we hope next week will be better."

Again, travellers have to be good judges of human
nature. You will not find one merchant in five hundred
of the same disposition, and thus the different modes of
working up a customer is no easy task. For instance,
you meet a strong Methodist — and they are not the worst
howlers, since the Salvation Army came to our fair

a I

Causula, — yon must bo careful not to have a quid of
tobacco in your nioutli ; be very mild, carry a face as
long as a parlor poker, and have it nicely polished ; let
your conversation be becoming a moral and Christian
man ; don't swear or use vulgarity, etc.

Next you meet an ill-tempered man. Probably this
man, with his bad temper, is often recovering from a
severe cold ; don't give him your card, or he may tear it
and throw it on the counter, then you certainly will feel
bad.

Next comes the religious man. The first question
asked you, "Are you travelling for Christ?" Yo^ see his
store placarded over with mottoes of a strong religious
kind. However, boys, religion is all right in its own place.
Poor old John Denoon, who represented the late T. C.
Kerr «fc Co., Hamilton, was asked if he was converted,
and if he wouldn't like to travel for Jesus. John
asked where his warehouse was, and what salary he'd
pay him.

Next comes the promising merchant. "Hello! glad to
see you to-day, George ; how do you do." And after a
few preliminaries, " Have you got anything on your list
to-day for me f " I am sorry not to-day, George, but
when you call again I promise you an order." This is
perhaps the tenth man in the same box that day.

Next comes the grinder, who grinds you down ever}"
cent he's able, and when you get through selling to him,
you thank God, and go up to the bar and have a beer,
and say, " Well done, good and faithful servant."

Next comes the jolly good-natured merchant, who will
take hold of your paw and squeeze the blood from the
points of your fingers ; then will go out and have a cigar
with you, but invariiiblj'- gives an order. Recommend
me to Mr. Talbot of Wingham, for if he has no order for
the boys, he is sure to send them away in good humor,
and always with sore fingers.

Next we have the man who has a good word to say to

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every traveller that comes along, bo he Samaritan, Jew,
or Gentile, but never goes to a sample room. He takes
two trips a year to Toronto, London, and Hamilton, and
writes for his sorting orders.

Next comes the man who means yea for yea and nay
for nay, so "Good day, Mr. L." This is business, is it not i
Then there are men who will give orders to-day and
cancel them to-morrow. Then, again, wholesale men
have a tendency to spoil customers on the travellers, by
writing what they call " saucy letters." These are only a
few of the many obstacles a traveller has to overcome.

It was always said that A. Porteous, of Paisley, now
banker, was a hard man to get over, and so he was, if not
taken in the right way, for I was myself unceremoniously
put out of his store at the end of a pitchfork ; but on
returning again to the town I called on him and found him
in good humor, and he treated me like a gentleman, and
gave me a small order. It is said that he mixed up a
traveller's tea samples once, but he had to pay for it.
Well, in my experience for ten years on the road, I never
saw the man — no matter what his temperament, be he ever
so cross and hard to get along with — but that, by taking
a right and proper way, he can be conquered. Only one
man I know of, and that is a big, fat, lion-like fellow in
Brussels, that I could not get along with ; and such men
as these I let alone, and the memory of such goes into
oblivion. Merchants, I hope, will take no offence at the
few remarks made regarding them.

The travellers have their little peculiarities. There is
the man who is aye scared a brother traveller will get ahead
of him — this is an eye to business. There is the man
who bothers a merchant when he is engaged with a cus-
tomer — this is a breach of commercial etiquette. There
is the man who is always finding fault around the hotel
— this is kicking. There is the man who is always
grumbling about business — this is the man who has no
ability to sell. There is the man who always finds business

;,'oo(l when others ttn<J it dull — this is tlie false prophet.
There is the man who is always jolly under any circum-
stances — this is the successful traveller. There is the
man who is always telling stones — this is the witty.
There is the man who is always dull, as if with care —
this is he who is trying to think where he's to get his
next order. There is the man who is always happy —
he's the fellow that gets ahead and steals a march. Then
there is the man who is almost crying — this is ho who
a march was stolen on ; and I dare say many of us
have gone through this by experience. There is, again,
the inquisitive traveller ; he asks how business is. If you
say, "Good," you get the rejoinder, "It's a lie," because its
no good with him. So far as I have gone I hope I have
written nothing to offend travellers or merchants, but I
cannot go further without making a few but brief remarks
regarding the many temptations that daily face commer-
cial men. I am much pleased indeed to see the decided
stand taken by the majority of travellers to-day on the road
against drinking ; and, amidst and surrounded by so
many traps, I can say with truth that to-day, in the
whole ranks of tlie fraternity, there is not a man that is
not temperate. Do not misunderstand. The word tem-
perate is not implied as teetotal abstainers, but there are
a great many abstainers. Talmage, in preaching on
commercial life, says there were two circumstances when
a man addicted to drinking would be tempted to indulge.
One was going day after day and making no sales ; be-
coming depressed, he would drink to keep his spirits up.
At another time, when unexpectedly taking a good order,
he would grasp your hand and say, " Come let us take a
drink." I am thankful I don't need a stimulant ; I am
feeling O. K. The sun is warm and spring-like; I am
doing a good spring trade ; my customers express them-
selves as pleased with the goods I am selling them ; I am
just in receipt of two letters: from the firm, one of com-
mendation and thanks, and the other a beauty from ray

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wife; and Talma*^c go(^s on to say, " What inore can a
commercial man crave for in this life?"

Talmage is right, and every word goes home, but does
he know that commendations and thanks now-a-days are
few and far between, and, as far as I know, few receive
them. I don't know that in my ten years' travel on
the road I ever got one letter of thanks from any tirm T
ever represented, and I presume the reasons annexed to
this query would be that if many letters of thanks and
commendation were going the round, the salaries would
be rounding up. It was always a puzzle to me how it
is that employers get the wind of everything a traveller
does on the road. If he gets off on a little boose at
night after business hours, you may look for it to be
reported before you get home on Saturday night. One
would suppose it would be an easy matter to find out
who is the spy, but it's no easy task. If we were to
join the salvation army, and go out preaching every
night after business hours, or hold prayer-meetings at
the hotels as we go along, we would get word from head-
quarters to stop such work — take Sunday for it, you
must attend to our work now — never mind your prayer-
meetings while carrying our samples. Oh, but Mr.
Employer, you're nevej ^old of our good deeds. O no !

Very of .en travell' 3 compelled to put up for the

night in out-of-th^ /laces in the country, and if you

chance to drive u ^ to the small hotel, on entering the
bar, the only entrance in some of them, you will find a
shilly-shally lot of hangers-on, and as you enter they
will all gape at you as if you were some stately personage;
and you can't help imagining you are some one. On
entering one of those little side shows on a cold wintry
night, in December, 1878, my driver and myself were
well-nigh frozen. I called for two glasses of hot beer,
with ginger, — a very fine drink on a frosty night. If
I'm not mistaken there were ten loafers in the bar at
the time, and the bar-tender on his own responsibility

callod the crowd to join ns. T was somewhat put out as
to liow I would act, not having less change than one
dollar. 1 turned to my driver and asked him to lend me
ten cents, wliich by good luck he had. I put down the
ten cents ; he says, "What's this for ? " " That's for two
beers." " But there are ten more to pay for." " Well, I am
very sure I don't pay for them." " What for ? " " Because
it was you invited them to drink, not 1." He was wrathy
over my refusing to pay, and from words it almost came
to blows. As the whole crowd took his part, the driver
and myself I thought would fare badly, l»ut Johnson, n»y
driver, from Southampton, undertook to get me out of
the mess. He proposed we should go six miles further on
and not stay there. So we prepared to start, when two
of the loafers took hold of our steed, while a few more
endeavored to pull one of the trunks oft' the sleigh.
Johnson, having a loaded whip handle with him, m.ade
for the two at the horse's head, while he warned me to
protect the trunks. They were (juickly laid out in the
snow, and away we went congratulating ourselves on not
having being hurt, or having to pay for ten drinks more
than we bargained foi*.

Being on the small inn question, 1 will relate a story of
a Scotch traveller or peddlar, as travellers are often called,
more especially by Grangers, who put up at a small
country ale-house in Wales, where, as the fates would
have it, he found ir the kitchen of the hotel a motley
assemblage of not the most desirable companions. Amongst
this crowd was a Welshman, whose aim from the first
seemed to be to get into hot water with poor Sauney, the
Scotchman. The Scottie sagaciously appreciating th*
true character of his tormentor and determining to get
rid of him in the quietest way possible, told him that he
did not want to fight ; this only excited to a still higher
pitch the bravado of the Welshman, so he told the Scottie
that he would make him fight. " Weel," says Sauney, " if
I mun ficht, I mun ficht, but let me say my prayers before

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I do ficht." The Welsliman submitted to his proposition.
Scottie fell upon his knees and began praying : " Oh
God pardon a puer sinner like me, ye alane ken my
deeds o' the past, and may I ask ye tae forgive me fae
the twa men I hae already slain, and for the one who is
aboot to dee at ma hands the noe, and yours will be the
glory, amen." The Scottie slov y rose from his knees, but
not before the Welshman had made a precipitate retreat

Once driving through a part of the country I did not
know very well, I came to a cross-road, and not knowing
what way to go, to the right or to the left, I asked a
stranger who was passing by, if I was on the right way,
and what road I should take. " Go right straight ahead,
and stop when you come to the place." Where to stop
was the query. This reminds me of a little anecdote of a
herd-boy, in Scotland, and Dr. Norman McLeod. The
Dr. was one day going to visit some of his parishoners ;
he lost his way. Meeting the little herd-boy by the way,
he asked him to put him on the right road. " Wha will ye
be, ana hoo ? " asked the boy. ** 0," replied the doctor,
who was at all times ready with a kindly word, " T am
the minister, and I show the road to heaven, my boy."
" Na, faith," said the boy, " deil o' that yer fit tae dae, for
ye dinna even ken the road to Dobieland."

Travellers must be patient, forgiving and accommodat-
ing; must overlook many trivial matters which are not
necessarily aggravating, but most annoying, to aggravate
is to annoy. However, it's all right ! we are not easily
wronged, and if we are, we can forgive and foiget.

LORD BYRON ON WRONGDOING.

"And if we do but watch the hour,
There never yet was human poiver
Which could evade, if unfor{»iven,
The patient seanh and vigil long
Of him who treasures up a wrong."

" Honor and shame from no condition rise,
Act well your part, there all the honor lies."

I will nov; give the travellers' ten commandments, and
if we act accordingly; there will be little grumbling at
home or abroad: —

1st. Thou shalt get to bed early^ so as to be fresh for
work in the morning. Do not forget your prayers.

2nd. Take a walk before breakfast and get an appetite,
and leave whiskey cocktails alone.

3rd. After breakfast sit down thirty-five minutes, and
smoke one cigar.

4th. If you're on the road on Sunday, from home,
remember the Sabbath to keep it sacred, and go to church,
but not with the cook.

5th. Do not bear any malice towards a brother traveller
in the same line.

6th. Bless him if he curse you ; pray for him if be
abuses you.

7th. You can play euchre, but not for money or drinks,
but for cigars.

8th. All married travellers must not forget that they
liave wives at home, while away on the road.

9th. All who can endeavor to get home on Saturday
do so ; that coistitutes a happy home on Sunday.

10th. If you are teetotal, do not drink on the sly, for
sure your sins will find you out.

" All aboard ! " Conductor Li lias cried out at Palmer-
st(m, one fine afternoon. No time for a bite to eat, had
no dinner to-day ; just two minutes — hurry up, take a
.sandwich in your hand. After going the round for tickets
and sore heads, Lilias, being a good conversationalist, and
thinking I might get some information regarding rail-
ways, etc., I asked him if he could give me any idea of
how many pas9enger3 travelled in Canada from January
till January. "Now, John, you have got me." " Did you
ev or keep count of how many you have carried on your
own train, and could it not be done ? " " Oh, yes, but I
have never done it." " When was the first locomotive

M
pwr

;

if! '
m '

M '

ill! :

illil ! 1

iil!f:
M
'"'ll!!.;

built, and where ? " "I think, J()hn, if niv mcmorv .servos
me right, the first one was built in Leeds, in 1811 ; and I
think that Brenton, of Butterly, built a curious looking
engine in the form of legs and feet, but it soon walked off
the field. You travellers have fine railway accommodation
now to what it was sixty or seventy years ago, when
four to six miles an hour was only made." " Who have
we to thank for our present railway system ? " " George
Stevenson was the most celebrated engineer and the
father of the railway system." " How many miles of
railway have we in Canada ? " " We ha ^e about 85,000
miles, and there are about 253,000 mile>i of road in the
world."

" Listowel tickets!" A couple of jolly- looking country
chaps boarded the train here. They looked as if they
slept in a bag of down, and were making the car sound
with merry song, etc. They were at a dance the night
before, and very soon, from the heat of the car, they both
fell sound asleep, with their feet roosting on the top of
the seat behind. There was one traveller on board who
took in the situation, and procured a ball of twine, and
tied them well together, head and feet, while they were
snoring away the lone hours, amidst the greatest amuse-
ment and merriment of the passengers, who enjoyed the
joke immensely. Conductor Lilias came round and took
in the situation, shook them up and hollared out "Tickets."
They found they were bound together. A look at the

conductor, then the cords. ** What the d 1 is this ?

Boss, we are tied." " I see you are." Loud laughter.
" Who did this, conductor ? " At this juncture the
uproarious laughter amongst the passengers set them in a
frenzy, for they could not move one way or another. At
last Lilias took pity on them and released them from
their bonds. They went away, vowincf vengeance on the
perpetrator of so foul a deed, and they would shoot him
on sight if they knew him.

A witty London traveller, in Crediton, one winter's

servos
and 1
ooking
kedofF
dation
when
have

night, while the good people of that place were holding
forth revival meetings, for a bet, walked up to the front seat
in the church, amongst the converted ones, and after a
while came out on arms with one of the elders, while a
second tried it, and was not a success, for he was ordered
out, not being a lit subject, for he had not the cheek to
walk up to the altar as did No. 1.

J. Eilber & Son do the principal business of this flour-
ishing village, and Mr. Clarke holds forth the hostelry, and
is a very genial and obliging fellow.

Conductor Quirk is the champion trader; any one
having an old knife, watch, etc., John is always on hand
for a trade; he is a very ~reat favorite amongst the boys,
and is always ready with witty answers on any subject
or questions asked him. It was a cold and stormy night
in December, 1878, when two' of us drove from Southamp-
ton to Tara. On our wav we struck the little village of
Allanford, there Mr. Johnson holds out. One of us had
a very sore throat, and all kinds of medicines were pre-
scribed for the throat disease. When in the little place,
a lady prescribed for the throat-ache man a tablespoonful
of coal oil. " Well, this is horrible medicine and no mis-
take, but there might be virtue in it, and if it don't cr*'e
it can't kill." So it was taken. An hour after it was taken :
"How do you feel, Jack?" "I feel coal oil all over; I
wish I hadn't taken the darned stuff." After business
was transacted we started for Wiarton. We did not go
many miles w^heii Jack, poor soul, began to sufier. "What's
the matter now, Jack ?" " O, for God's sake, I'm sick ;
hold up till I try and get this infernal coal oil off my
stomach." We hauled up. Jack, poor soul, limped out,
and tried his best to retch, but no go. "Come on, old boy,
we will drive fast and get to Spencer's at He|)worth, and
a good night's rest will fix you.'.' We went at a 10-mile
gait and arrived at half past eleven at night. Old Spencer
met us with a "Hello, boys! are you lost?" "No," says
the sick oil man, "we're found." "What's the matter,

li'ii

{1; \ 'MM

! li

John? This man looks sick." " He was drinkincr coal
oil," "For God's sake! Coal oil? and lot« of whiskey in
the place; is he crazy?" "Oh, no, Spencer, he's all right ;
he has a sore throat, and was recommended a coal oil
dose, and he took it, and he says he'll never forget it, and
warns nre if I tell any more about it he will resign his
sit, and leave the country." By this time Jack scrambled
in the bar. " Hello, Jack," says Spencer, " drinking ?"
"Drinking what ?" John says, " You're drinking coal oil
now." "Yes, and I am suffering for it ; for goodness' sake,
old man, get me a warm solution of some stuff to put me
sleeping to-night." "What will it be — warm coal oil,
brandy or whiskey?" "Darn your coal oil! If you mention
coal oil again I'll leave your house." " Will whiskey and
lemon do?" "Yes; give me Irish, if you have it." "No
Irish, but have fine old rye." "That will do,hurry up." Jack
got it down after a struggle, but soon after turned pale
and sick, so sick that he asked for a doctor. There was
no doctor nearer than Owen Sound, but there happened
to be a horse doctor across the road, and he was sent for
to examine Jack, for poor Jack knew not the difference
till the morning. When he was informed that the horse
doctor fixed him, he was furious and exclaimed, " What
do you fellows take me for?" " Why," says Spencei', "for
a horse." Jack was pulling on a shoe at the time, which
he threw at the old man, but accidentally hit the horse
doctor, who immediately presented his bill. " What's
this?" " My bill, sir, for service last night." " To medicine
and one call late, $1.75." " Well, I presume, I must pay
for it." Jack went away, vowing vengeance on that table,
spoonful of coal oil, and the one who recommended the
infernal dose. So much for Coal Oil Jack.

''lonv. was persuaded, a venture to make ;
A letter informed mo that all was to wreck ;
But the pursey old landord just waddled upstairs
With a glorious bottle that ended my cares."

— BU KNS

()

rmht ;

H. E. Moore, of the Tecumseh House, London, is another
t' those genial proprietors who know well the wants of
the boys. There is one thing Mr. Moore can boast of that
no other in the line can, that is a tirst-class base ball club,
and his professionals are all selected from his guests, him-
self captain. He says he can get on matches from eve-y
class of people but the commercial travellers, as they
are fonder of slugging trunks than base balls. As the
Tecumseh House base ball club holds the championship
of the Dominion, in all probabilities they will have some
good clubs from other hotels to contend with during the
sunny days of summer.

By the way, I think Alick Dunn, of the St. Nicholas,
Hamilton, is organizing a club. If that be the case, there
can be no doubt but he will be able to give a good account
of himself, he being a great favorite with the travellers,
and Hamilton being a noted base ball city, Alick will
liave very little trouble in getting up a good team to
cope with the Tecumseh House of London.

Mr. E. W. Dowling, the courteous head clerk of the
Tecumseh, is an old time traveller, and that is the reason,
I presume, Ed. knows the wants of the boys, and is so
highly thought of by them. The reason he quit the road
I don't know ; but he says : " Home, home, sweet home,"
used to ring in his ears, so much so that he came to the
conclusion he'd quit and stay at home. Ed.'s favorite
song now is, " Home, sweet home."

He handed me the following to read, a response to the
Drummer's Toast, by L. B. Sprengel, at the Merchant
Tailors' Exchange of Washington, which I think is well
worth borrowing, and I take the liberty of giving it —
for two good reasons, it is well worth reading, and there
might have been a great many of the boys that have not
seen it — and I Iwpe Mr. Sprengel will have no objections
in my makinLj use of il : —

IIBBF

' '^ i

>iiji

Features of the Diummer's Life.

" The drummer, or iis he has been called of late, the
commercial tourist, is a gentleman who, in the last fifteen
or twenty years,has multiplied and increased like the limbs
of a tree. I do not sup[)ose there is a place anywhere on
the civilized globe that can support a small store of any
kind, that has not at one time or another been surprised
by having a drummer bob In^o it. As has been said, he
comes in the Spring, in the Summer and in the Fall ; and
lie carries with him plenty of cheek and an abundance of
gall. He swoops down upon you like a thunder-storm
or an avalanche, and tries to capture everything he can.
He comes to you with his right hand extended, with a
smiling countenance and sweet words. He inquires about
your health and the health of your family. He wants to
know how the young ones are. He asks how trade is. He
tells you the news from all the different towns. He gives
you plenty of good jokes and relates the pranks he has
been up to on the way. Last, but not least, he brings
with him his great big iron bound baggage-smasher proof
trunk and plenty of samples of old and new goods, and
uses his best endeavors to stick you, if possible.

" Drummers, as a general thing, may be considered wel-
come visitors, especially when they visit you'and request
the privilege of being allowed to give you credit. Of
course that is a sign that you are considered good, or they
would not try to sell you a bill. You think that is all right.
Sometimes, however, it is different. The drummer may
come, not to sell a bill of goods, but to try to collect the
old account that has been due for some time. (Laughter.)
These things occur occasionally ; but they are generally
left in the hands of the collector. The drummer is always
the scape-goat in regard to everything that goes wrong
in the way ot goods sent. If something else is sent in
the place of the order given, the next time the drummer

has

romos around he is lionnd td catcli the very ohi boy. Yon
do not blame the house that sendn the goods, but you
pitch into the poor fellow who does not know what has
l)een sent. He takes all the scolding, and bears it with the
fortitude of a martyr of the olden times ; or, rather more
so, he puts them to shame and makes them bhish. He takes
it all with a smile and promises to make it all right, and
put in a good word for the next bill. The drummer may
be considered as the spice and essence of trade. He is
what some jieople call a necessary evil. The drummer,
as a general thing, keeps everytliing going. A town is
not lively luiless it has a drummer in it, or half a dozen.
He keeps the hotel going, in the first place. In the next
l)lace, he keeps the people going that he goes to see. He
keeps the theatres going. The cigar stores profit by him.
The saloons generally profit by him, and a great many
other people do also.

" Go back to the days when drumming was in its
infancy, when drummers were few and far between. The
merchant had to pack up his luggage and spend his time
and his money to travel to the large cities. He had to
look around and find a place where he could see the goods
that he wanted. He iiad to go to many places, and some-
times take what he did not want ; or, if he found what
lie wanted, he had to pay the price that was asked him,
because he did know anything about what competition
was. Times have changed since then, Now drummers
are many, and things are different. Competition is very
great. Prices are squeezed down very much to get an
order. (Laughter.) They are indeed. I have had expe-
rience myself. Now all a merchant has to do is to sit
back in his ofhce. Tiistead of spending his money in
going after goods, the drummer comes and spends his
money in different ways. (Laughter.) But these are all
tricks of the trade; we get used to them. We find them
out after we have been in the business some time. The
merchant sits back in the office and gets postal cards from

:' ':-' y' '-.

the dnimniers. He wait.s, and wlien the drunniicr comes,
examines all liis goods, buys those he likes best ; and th(i
goods are shipped to him, and he has no trouble.

"Some people have an idea that it is a nice thing to be
a drummer. ' How nice it is tc be a commercial tourist,'
some of them say. * Just look ! He travels from town to
town. He sees everything that goes on. He has all* the
fun he wants — living at the firm's expense — ' that is the
best part of the fun. They do not know the trials,
troubles and tribulations that these poor fellows have.
Poor deluded creatures, who have such an opinion of the
drummer. How they are misinformed ! What mistaken
ideas they have of the drunnner's life ! How would they
like to make the early train from one point to another ;
the only train about 2:30 a.m., with the thermometer
down below zero and about two feet of snow On the
ground. And after getting the train, what does the
drummer have to sleep on ? A very bad running car, a
hard seat, and everything like that. Then, when he does
strike the next town, it may not be a town like oui* city
of Philadelphia, or Baltimore, or Washington, where there
are plenty of good hotels, but some little country town,
where he is fed on bad hotel hash ; and when he ex])ects
at last to find some sweet repose on the soft side of a
board, covered over with the next morning's breakfast
table cloth, he is kept awake all night fighting with those
terrible instruments of tortvre, the bedbugs. They are
mighty numerous in the country towns ; and don't you
forget it. Then the success he meets with ! Sometimes he
goes around for two or three weeks at a time and does not
sell a cent's worth of goods; and at the next point where
he receives his correspondence he gets a telegram from his
house something like this : 'Come home immediately. We
don't send a man on the road for glory. We want him
to sell something.* All these little things add spice to
the existence of the drummer that otherwise he would be
without. But we are, however, to sum it all up, very

olad we are living. I may say that (Irummeis are for the
most part, gentlemen, refined, intelligent and of pleasant
address, always full of good humor. For the best part a
drummer is what you might call a jolly good fellow, and
a hail-fellow-well-met."

A Scotchman, not long out, passing Frank Campbell's
restaurant, London, one morning, noticed in his window,
" o^Vogs, 50 cts. per dish," says — " Ma goodness, Jock, dune
the folks in this country eat thae things?" "Why, yes,
Jimmie, they are a favorite dish in Canada." "Weal, weel,
if that be the case I mun gang back tae the land o' Burns,
for I didna come here tae eat they beasts." Jimmie made
liis way across the road to James Smith's restaurant, and
the first thing he spied was fried frogs for dinner. " Ma
Lord, is there nae place I mun gang into but I see frogs,
Irogs ; this is putting me aff ma parridge. Come, Mr.
Smith, gees a dram and let me git aw'er tae Delahook's till
I get a ticket for Glascae." Before being too rash about
going back to Scotland he made his way to John Cruik-
shanks, of the American, an old friend of his. Jack
Robinson was behind the bar. " Weel, Jack, hae ye frogs*
feet for sale here?" " No, Jimmie, but we have good beef-
steak. You can have porridge and milk for breakfast."
"Thank the Lord, I got noo what I was looking for — let's
hae a half mutchken o' yer best whiskey." " We only sell
by the glass, Jimmie," " Weel, let's hae three guid glasses.
I was thinking of going back tae Scotland, but I hae
changed my mind noo. Where's Jack Cruikskanks ?"

I was almost forgetting Winnipeg — O'Connor & Brown,
proprietors of the Queen's. It is a well-known fact that
they are gentlemen well known from the Pacific to the
Atlantic, and travellers planting themselves under their
care get away singing, for they are jolly good fellows. I
I never had the good luck to get the length of the great
lone west city, and if ever I do get that far west, I hope
to have the f>leasure of meeting them, and probably Mr.
O'Connor will sing his old and favorite song, '* Come back

m ■'

i./i

to Erin." I understand Mr. Brown has a set of bag-
pipes, and no doubt the scirl of tlie pipes will have good
scope in the prairie land.

Some ok the Boys after a Good Xmas Bukakfast enjoying

THEiii Pipes and Cioaus at O'Connou <& Bkown's,

Queen's Hotel, Winnu'eg.

With Mr. Ed. Griffith, the old and reliable head
clerk, lately of the Grigg House, at the helm, the old
Queen's steers a straight course. Ed. is and always was
a great favorite with the travellers ; he is a good rifle
shot and goes out occasionally and bags rabbits, prairie
chickens, etc. When I make up my mind to go to Win-
nipeg, hold a gun and two good hounds for me, Eddie,
my boy.

Col. Cole, the old reliable of the )ndon cavalry, and
proprietor of the Cousins House, says : "Were he in active
service, give him 250 travellers in the saddle and he
would bet on them every time, as they have shown them-
selves superior metal in the ISorth-West rebellion and

in otber uprisings in days <^orni by, say, Ridgeway.'' The
boys have a god word for Col. Cole, who is a great favor-
ite with them.

J. W. Martin, of the Martin House, King street, Lon-
don, is a great favorite with the commercial men. Jim
makes a most pleasant home for the boys; he has a
large council room, specially laid out for their sole con-
venience, and being a literary man himself, he has got a
very large and costly library for their use.

I must not forget to tell you that he was once one of
the boys himself; he represented a large manufacturing
liouse in some part of the United States. Jim tells his
reasons for quitting the sample cases in the following
comical style : He fell in love with a beautiful young
damsel, and corresponded with her for a good many
months, and when he thought he was justified in pro-
posing and was about doing so, another rival stepped in
and cut him out. Getting down-hearted about the matter,
he concluded he'd give up drumming, as he could not
boar the idea of passing the city she lived in, it gave him
such pain. So he sent in his resignation without giving
any reasons for so doing. Being a great favorite with his
employers, they naturally enough demanded his reasons
for so abruptly acting. Jim was shy, and dare not tell
them, being a. love matter, he knew they would laugh at
him ; so he took his departure to Canada, and as he was
a good-looking young fellow, he did not take long to
decide his single course in this life. He is now proprietor
of one of the best laid out hotels in the city of London,
and a welcome home to any and every weaiy commercial
that nmy call on him, and be sure and af. . him, when
you call, if this be true.

•' Wonld'at thou know her .sacred charms,
Who this destined h-'art alanns,
What kind <if nymph tlie Heavens decree,
The maid that's made for love and me."

— Hamilton of Bangour.

Port Elgin is a lively little place, beautifully situated
on the banks of Lake Huron. The Arlington Hotel is
kept in good style by the good-natured and genial John
Millar. John is always on hand to welcome the boys,
and aye ffives them a warm reception. In the summer
time his house is well patronized by the weary travellers
on Sundays, where, by the shores of the lake, the fresh
and bracing air is an improvement after the drudgery of
a hard week's work.

One time John expected a few of the boys to spend a
Sunday, and to have a treat awaiting them. He took his
fowling-piece and faithful dog, and took to the woods to
hunt up some game in the shape of (juail — for quail on
toast is a fine line ; red squiiTels — as squirrel pie is a
great relish ; rabbits — as rabbit pie is a scarce commodity.
After travelling all day without any success, John essayed
to go home, muttering to himself, " This is the hardest
luck I ever had." All of a sudden his dog set up a howl-
ing — hello, here goes a white rabbit, so John up with his
gun and laid him low. He goes for his game to bag, and.
Oh ! to John's horror, what do you think he shot ? Why,
his own favorite white cat. After this I'll be blowed if I
ever take a gun in my hands again.

" Poor Pussy why did I slay you,
It was not me but my gun ;
If ever again I should come out to shoot,
It must be for different game. Farewell, puss. "

Commercial travellers as a rule are not proud, although
there may be an occasional dude to be found who thinks
himself lord god of the road, as he might be the son of a
rich farmer in England, or Ireland, or Scotland. I may
at this stage say with safety that two-thirds of the boys
on the road are Scotch or Scotch descent. • Spurgeon says
that, " Big as many men regard themselves on account of
their ancestors, we all trace our line to a gardener who
lost his place through stealing his master's fi*uit." I will
now come to a fish story expedition, but people now-

a-<lays don't bcliove luilf of the tisli stories of the nine-
teenth century. I read in a paper once a story about
eels — I don't know if it was true or not, I know mine is
true — of a man who said he saw eighteen large eels go in
snake fashion fifty yards on dry land from a river to a
suiall lake. Mine is a trout story. As travellers are very
fond of trout-fishing and probably would like to know
where to get them, here I go : It was a very hot and
sultry day in August, 1882, 1 met Mr. W. Y. Brunton and
Mr. Beaton, of London, on the Georgian Bay Railway, on
their way to Hepworth. Nothing would do but I must
accompany them to the grounds. After getting rods, lines,
hooks and baits ready, we started in one of Spencer's
rigs, with a full supply of provisions for the day. When
we beheld the stream we were terror-stricken ; Mr. Brun-
ton gazed, and wondered how he was to navigate over
logs, stumps and brush. Well, after coming so far we
nmst make an attempt. " Come, John, my boy, get youi
tackle ready and try this hole here, while I go up apiece
the stream." Mr. Beaton taking the down stream route,
we all started, and in a few minutes were lost to each
other. Getting lonely where I stood, and catching no
fish, I hailed, " Where are you, Mr. Brunton ? " " I'm here,
John." " Getting any ? " "Yes, bagged a big fellow." "Did
you have any luck yet, John ? " " Nae a luck for me."
By this time I was perched on a large log in the centre of
the stream, my line fast, and could not move one way or
another, and suffering intense agony, after a desperate
charge of a regiment of mosquitoes. My pants were
rolled up, and my legs exposed to the bloodthirsty little
devils — I came out with my legs covered over with small-
pox in mild form.

" How are you getting along with the mosquitoes, Mr.
Brunton ? " " Well, John, I have a small bottle of stuff
here I rub on my hands and face, and they don't bother
me much." " Well, for God's sake, let me try some of it,
for I am almost eaten up. Just look at these legs." The

'li

111

Pi;

only consolation I could ^i^et was, " it will all come out in
the washing."

Mr. B. and myself trudged up the stream, Mr. Beaton
uoinix down. We had fair luck for awhile, and at times
would strike a good hole. Losing sight of Mr. B. for a
few minutes, I came up to him, and found him out in the
centre of the stream on a small log that one would think
would not hold a boy up. " Ain't you scared out there?"
" Hush, hush, John ! I am after a big fallow." A shout
— " O, 1 have him, and he is a daisy ; just look at him — a
pounder to be sure. You go down to that little opening
there and you'll get some. I goes down, but, to get to
the hole was the next question. To accomplish this 1
must need crawl out on a log ; this done, I cast in my
line and hooked a dandy. How to get him out puzzled
me ; to move one way or another would plump me into
live or six feet of water, and having no fish basket I must
go ashore as best I could. Holding the end of the rod in
my teeth, I backed out ; by this time Mr. Trout got
round a log with the line, and to get him I must go into
the water. Well, I did not care risking my life for a
trout — here I was standing, thinking what was to be
done, while Mr. B. was hauling them out like hot-cakes.
Finally I made up my mind to venture in, and off goes
pants, coat and vest, and in I plunged, and after a hard
struggle I disentangled the line and got Mr. Trout — the
biggest, so far, that day. B}- the time I got my clothes
on again I wished I was a hundred miles from the place,
and the trout where it was, for I was literally covered from
head to foot with the little pests, and did they not fare
well that day ? Walking up to where Mr. B. was, I held
up my trophy, " O 1 he is a beauty, John, I will put him
in my basket as soon as I get out, and how the devil I'm
to get out is the next problem. Hello ! another, John ; I
will stay here a little yet. Where is Beaton ? " "Now you
have me, 1 haven't seen or heard of him since we f)arted at
the bridge. I think I'll go back to the hotel." " Why,

it In

»aton
iimes
for a
n the
think
ere?
shout
m — a
ening
yet t(^
I

this

m my
uzzled
\e into
[ must
rod in
it got
TO into
for a
to be
cakes,
goes
hard
it — the
clothes
e place,
d from
lot fare
I held
)ut him
3vil I'm
Tohn ; I
ow you
arted at
" Why,

are you tired already ? " " No, I'm not tired, but I don't
want to stay here to be feed for black flies and mosquitoes ;
just glance at those legs, ain't they nicely chipped ? "
"Go to my coat pocket and find my bottle and apply
some, rub it well in." I certainly did so, and then they
would go for me as soon as it would dry.

Mr. Brunton suggested that we both go into the water
and walk down the centre. We did so, and this was no
easy task, as the logs and brush were strewn in all shapes
and forms, and to climb over them at times was no easy
task. Mr. B. is a good deal older than me, and weighs a
great deal more, and to see him mount those logs and
plod along was a marvel to me. One would think he was
a young boy again, as it almost defied me to follow his
cracks. Arriving at our starting place, the bridge, we
found Mr. Beaton sitting half-starved with hunger, as we
had hidden the provisions. " Hello, Beaton, how did you
find things down the stream ? " " By George, if this is
the stream they make so much fuss about, I don't want
to come here any more. I'm played out." " Got any
fish ? " " Yes, a few. I sat on a log for about an hour,
caught some little ones, but O ! I saw some beauties- -
some about a foot long or more ; they wouldn't bite worth
a cent." " Let's go down." " I must have some refresh-
ments before I go again, as I am famishing. Where is
the grub ? Go for it, John." I found it where we left
it, and we did enjoy a fine lunch. By this time we had —
all told — eigh^^ -four trout, Mr. Bruntcii leading by large
odds. After lunch we started over Mr. Beaton's route,
and did not have much luck till we got to the mill-dam ;
at this point we had a good catch, and finished a hard
day's fishing over logs, brush, and through swarms of
mosquitoes, to the tune of half f* +ub full of the speckled
beauties.

** O'erloga and brush we tramped all day,

In search of speckled beauties, !

We caught them large, we caught them small,

Our curses on mosquitoes, 01"

^1i

'il pi

Bob Gowanlock, representing Messrs. Perkins, Ince &
Co., wholesale groceries, etc., Toronto, and Jim Mackie,
of the American Hotel, Toronto, are great on the muscle..
This summer you will witness one of the most interesting
sculling races on Toronto Bay since the last race between
Hanlan and Ross. Bob has challenged Jim for a four
mile race for $500, and twenty barrels of potatoes, five
of apples, three of turnips, two of onions, and one of cab-
bages, all to be donated to the Orphan's Home. Jim has,
I believe, written Hanlan to Australia to hurry home, as
he wants to go into training early. Bob has also written
Laycock, and has secured his services as trainer. You see
the boys are in dead earnest ; and a good match is anti-
cipated. Bob is by far the heavier man, weighing 229,
but in rowing form is down to 186f. Jim goes about
187 pounds, and in rowing form 162 J. I understand they
have already begun walking exercises on snow-shoes, and
it is amusing to see the pair plod through the snow at a
mile and a quarter gait. One night they undertook a
journey across the bay to Hanlan's Point. On the
return they lost their way, being overtaken by darkness,
and were almost frozen, both being teetotallers, they had
no stimulants, but had lots of cigars, but Bob falling
through the ice and Jim helping him out they got their
lucifers wet ; here they were with lots to smoke, but no
matches. " What are we to do, Jim ? " says Bob. " Whj^
stay here till daylight, Bob." "I can't stand it, Jim." "Well,
sit down and make yourself at home, there's no help for
us." " Jim, wouldn't Hanlan laugh to hear of this ? " ** Bob
yes, and so would Laycock."

Mr. Dan Mackenzie, the popular traveller of the north,^
represents Messrs. C. S. Hyman & Co., London. Dan is a
very great favorite amongst his brother travellers, and is
a fine specimen of a Scotchman, and is the only athlete
I've known of in the fraternity. Dan need aot be
ashamed of his clan. The well-known Strathspey, Cabar-
feiclh, is the clan song of the Mackenzies, although com-

n^F?

ice &

iiscle.
sting
,ween.

four
3, fiv&
: cab-
a has,
nae, as
ritten
ou see
3 anti-
ng 229,
about
d they
es, and
w at a
took a
)n the
rkness,
ey had
falling
3t their
but no
" Why,

"Well
lelp for
Bob

e north,^
])an is a
and is
athlete
aot be
, Cabar-
gh com-

posed by Norman McLeod, a native of Sutherlandshiro,
making it the vehicle of invective and bitter f^arcasm
against the Sutherlands and Munros, who had anteced-
ently made themselves sufficiently obnoxious to McLeod
by their adherance to the Hanoverian cause in 1745.

Cabar-feidh can be heard annually at Lucknow's Cale-
donian Games ; it is a production teeming with withering
declamation and piquancy, and that it told upon its hope-
less subjects may be reasonably supposed. Munro was
particularly sore on the subject, and threatened that the
Bard (McLeod) should forfeit his life for his temerity if
ever they should meet. They were personally unacquainted
with each other, but chance soon brought them face to
face. Munro was generally known by a grey colored
Tam-o'-Shanter, which he wore ; one day he entered
Ardquy Inn, there sat McLeod on his way to the writer's
native town, Tain, Rosshire, Scotland, regaling himself
with bread and butter, cheese and ale. Munro was
ignorant of the character of the stranger, not so McLeod
— he immediately knew Munro by the color of his bonnet
— drank to him with great promptitude, and then offered
him the horn with the following extempore salutation : —

" Aran a's im a's cais
Mu'n tig has air Tormod ;
A's deoch do fhir an rothaid,
'S cha ghabh na Rothaich fearg ris ? "

Wi^ich may be translated thus : —

" Bread and butter and cheese to me,
Ere death my mouth shall close,
And traveller, there's a drink to thee,
To please the black Munro's."

Munro was pleased with the address, quaffed the ale,
and when he discovered who the courteous stranger was,
he cordially forgiave him, ar.a cherished a friendship for
him ever after. Years after the events recorded above

■1 :.'

i^i ' ''

't'-i

\ 1

the poet's son, Angus, then a young licentiate, waited
upon Monro relative to the filling up of the vacanc}'^ in
the Parish of Rogart. " And do you really think, sir,"
said Munro, "that I would use my influence to get a living
for your father's son — Cabar-feidh is not forgotten yet."
" .No, and never will, replied the divine ; but if I get the
Parish of Rogart, I promise you it shall never be sung or
recommended from the pulpit there." " Thank you, thank
you," said Munro. " That is one important point carried
— ^you are not so bad as your father, after all, and we
must tn^ and get the kirk for you." Munro gave him a
letter to Dunrobin and he got the appointment.

Cabar-feidh is one of the most popular songs in the
Gaelic language, and deservedly so; it has been erroneously
ascribed to Matheson, the family Bard of Seaforth ; but
now for the first time, it is legitimately patronized, and
the only correct edition which has yet appeared, is here
given : —

Le treun neart gach caraide ;

Gur mise chunna' sibh gu gunnach,
Ealamh, allamh, aeuinneach ;

Ruith nan Rothach 's math 'urgnothach,
Thug sibh sothadh maidne dhaibh ;

Cha deach 'Cataich air an tapadh,
Dh 'fhag an neart le eagal ead,

Ri faicinn ceann an fheidh ort
Nuair dh'eirich do chabar ort !

Be'nt-amadan fear foluis

Nuair Thosich e cogadh rint ;
Rothaich agus Rosaich —

Bu ghorach ha bodaich iad ;
Frisealaich a's grannaich,

An campa cha stadadh iad ;
'S thug Fairbeisich nan teann-ruith,

Gu seann taigh Chuilodair orr ;
Theich iad uile 's cha dh — fhuirich

An treas duine 'Ch 'aca — san ;
An t — Irla Catach ruith e dhachaigh —

Cha do las a dhogachan ;

aited
cy in
, sir,
iving
yet."
^t the
mg or
thank
arried
id we
him a

in the
eously
h; but
3d, and
is here

Mac — Aoidh nan creach gun thar e as,

'S anndh 'eigh e 'n t — eachab 'aigeannaich,

Ri gabhal an ra — treuta,

Nuair dh'eirich do chabar ort !

'S ann an Bin bha 'm fuathas

Ga 'n ruagadh thar bhealaichean,
An deas dhuinn a's an tuath dhuinn,

Gu luath ruith roi'd 'cheann — eideadh,
Mar Bgoath a dh 'eoin nann fuar — cheann,

A's gruaim air a h — uile fear,
A tearnadh bha na sleibhtean,

Dh'eigh iad port 's gu'n d'fhuair iad coit
'S bu bheag au toirt mar thachair dhaibh ;

Ciod e'n droch rud rinn am brosuach ;
Le'n cuid mosg nach freagradh sead,

'S a linthad toirtear dheth na Rothaich,
Dol air flod thar chlaigeannan ?

'S ann ghabh iad an ratreata,
Nuair dh'eirich do chabar ort.

The song itself bears internal evidence that the history
of its paternity is strictly correct, and the proofs in cor-
roboration are numerous and decisive. Toothing can
surpass the exultation of the Bard while he sings of the
superiority of the clan of McKenzie over those who have
drawn upon themselves the lash of his satire. The line
" Nuair dh'eirich do chabar ort," falling in at the end of
some of the stanzas, has an electrifying eff'^it; and,
although figurative in its language, is so applicaole as to
transport us beyond ourselves to those feudal times when
our mountain warriors rushed to the red field of battle
to conquer or to die.

Although Cabar-feidh is the clan song of the McKen-
zies, the music as well as the poem is JVIcLeod's, and forms
one of the most spirit-stirring airs that can be played on
the bagpipe; so popular indeed has this tune been in
many parts of the Highlands, that it was not danced as a
common reel, but as a sort of country dance. It has been
danced in character, and can bear testimony that, for
diversified parts, for transitions, mazes and evolutions, it

Rl! !^

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ii r

yields not, when well performed, to any cotillion brand
new from France.

When travelling through the lower provinces 1 was
struck with the romantic scenery of Cape Breton, beau-
tiful ranges of mountains which reminded me of the
Grampians. At times travelling in low glens, then on
mountain tops, when the wide and roaring Atlantic is
open to view in all its magnificent and defiant splendor.
This splendid and Scotland-like scenery reminded me of
a poem composed by Mr. McDonald of Lewis. Its moun-
tains, dewy dells, and fountains, etc. : —

Sweet, O sweet ! with Mary o'er the wilds to stray,
When Glensmole is dressed in all the pride of May,
And when weary roving through the greenwood glade,
Softly to recline beneath the birken shade.

Chorus.

Sweet the rising mountains red with heather bells,
Sweet the bubbling fountains and the dewy dells.
Sweet the snowy blossoms of the thorny tree ;
Sweeter is young Mary of Glenraole to me.

There to fix my gaze in raptures of delight,
On her eyes of truth, of love, of life, of light,
On her bosom, purer than the silver tide.
Fairer than the cana on the mountain's side.

Sweet the rising mountains, etc.

What were all the sounds contrived by tuneful men
To the warbling wild notes of the sylvan glen ?
Here the merry lark ascends on dewy wing.
There the mellow mavis and the blackbirds sing.
Sweet the rising mountains, etc.

What were all the splendor of the proud and great
To the simple pleasures of our green retreat ?
From the crystal spring fresh vigor we inhale.
Rosy health does court us on the mountain gale.
Sweet the rising mountains, etc.

Were I offered all the wealth that Albion yields,
All her lofty mountains and her fruitful fields,
With the countless riches of her subject seas,
I would scorn the change for blisses such as these.
Sweet the rising mountains, etc.

■W

No doubt this beautiful poem, written by a McDonald
and sung by a McPherson, will remind us of our courting
days ; and those who have not begun the courting walks
through mountain glens or dales, and by streams, will
take this as a sweet lesson, for these were and are happy
days, and some of the fraternity are no doubt wandering
by flowery streams and lonely glens, and are hastening
" to the rising mountain top to view the lovely sea of life
and love ahead."

I have said something about conductors, and I almost
forgot Johnnie Carey, the well-known and popular sweet
singer of the line. Johnnie is of Irish descent, and he
need not be ashamed of it. As Quirk says, "What are all
you Scotchmen but an excommunicated lot of rebels from
the north of Ireland ?" But if you ask Quirk where
potatoes were first introduced, he will tell you " Why of
course where all bad things were, in the Garden of Eden."
I was trying to trace the history of the Careys, for
Johnnie's benefit, but I could not find an Irish poet of
the name, nor could I of my own, but have no doubt
he is proud of his country, and so well he may, having
had so talented a poet as Moore to defend her cause in
the poetical world.

Johnnie tells a good story about an Irishman and a
Scotchman who worked together in the county of Bruce,
some twenty years ago, — at that time of no railways.
The Scottie and the Irishman worked for a mean but
rich Frenchman, who had a few hundred acres of good
land. Where he is now the writer don't know, and I
doubt if Johnnie knows, anyhow, if his bones be mould-
ering in the dust, no one cares. Scottie and Pat had
hard work to accomplish, and they had to walk about
two miles every day to get to their work; and every day,
breakfast, dinner, and supper, were the same hash for
three weeks, without any change. The Frenchy having
so many sheep on his farm, Scottie said to Pat, " Let us
go for the boss, and get him to kill a sheep for a change."

They did go for him, and after two days' hard fighting
they got the old man persuaded, and he promised to kill
a lamb. They left for work on a Friday morning, and
before leaving, Mr. Frenchman informed them that they
would have fresh lamb for dinner. When dinner hour
was up, Scottie and Pat, longing for a change of victuals,
having nothing but bread and milk for three weeks,
hastened to the homestead to enjoy the dinner of
fresh lamb. On entering the kitchen the lamb was
frying, and sirelt fine. Says Pat to Scottie, "Let us go
out and see how he dressed this sheep." " All right, come
alang," and they both went to the barn ; they could see
no lamb there; from that to the stable, hay -loft, and
every place they thought the old man would have the
lamb dressed and hanging up, but nowhere was it to be
found. The question was where did the lamb come from ?
Pat was the most suspicious and particular of the two,
and was bound to find out where the lamb chops came
from that were frying in the pan ere he would partake of
them. " Come on and hae dinner, man, and find oot
afterwards." " No, be jabers, I'll find out before I ate
any o' the stuff." " You mun gang along and find oot,
but I'm a going to hae dinner." " Just wait a bit," says
Pat, *' I have my suspicions about this lamb in the pan.
Do ye spy that sheep tied to yon tree in the orchard ?"
" Yes," quoth Scottie, " let's go over and examine him."
" All right, come along." So they both went over and
examined the sheep tied to the tree, and they found to
their horror and disgust that the meat in the pan was cut
from a sheep now living and yet tied to the tree. The
piece was cut from the haunch, which means the hip,
then covered over with tar to heal. Suffice to say, the
Frenchman escaped with his life, for his miserly and
cruel acts. The Scottie and Pat came back rightly mad,
demandea their wages, then shouldered the wounded
lamb, and took an everlasting farewell of Mr. Frenchy.
They went away singing : —

rewell to misor Frenchy,
Farewell to such a man,
Who cut meat from the haunch of a living sheep,
And fried it in a pan.

I must not tire the reader too much with conductor-
ship, but I cannot pass over without making a few
remarks regarding conductor Simpson, late of the London,
Huron and Bruce, so well-known to the boys. I must
put Simpson down as the sporting conductor. He is an A 1
shot, and can shoot his nineteen birds out of twentj' eveiy
time. Dinsley, of Wingham, and himself took a trip to the
North-west last summer ; they took with them the best

..^^^-^

i^T^-^^^fs^

Conductor Simpson and John Dinslky Shootinc Puairie Dogs

FOR Chickens,

guns to be found in London, lots of ammunition, five
pointer dogs and retrievers; and to see the pair start,
conductor and hotel-keeper, from London station, one
would imagine that two lords were off for a deer hunt.

On their arrival at Winnipeg they were met by so
many friends, and had so many invitations to dinners

nil

1.1

iH' ', 'I

lit!

and suppers in commemoration of old Canadian times,
that they almost forgot what brought them to the North-
west. However, after a few days' good feasting, which
all Englishmen like, they started out on the wide prairie
in search of ducks and fowl. Simpson became disgusted
at the appearance of things, and John Dinsley was
wroth ey, and said the reports i'i ^I:o Grit and Tory
papers were a fraud as regarded the game of the North-
west prairie. They wandered along until they sat down
one lonely and weary night, and sung by themselves : —

Dark and dreary is the way,

Toiling we have come;
Ask us not with you to stay —

Yonder is our home.

John says to Simpson, " Will we<go on or return ?" " O,
by Jove, John, we must shoot something to bring home,
or our London and Wingham friends will langh at us."
"All right, let us go." So, after quaffing some of Dinsley 's
best, they started. They did not go far when one of
them sighted a flock of prairie chicken. " Now," says
John, " you're a good shot, Simpson, get on to them and
I will hold the dogs back." "All right." So Simpson
crawled up till about fifty yards from the would-be
chickens, and let bang both barrels, killing a good many,
as none rose to the wing, so they thought they had the
whole covey. John ran, Simpson ran, and the dogs barked
as they approached their game, and when found, to their
dismay, and, might I say, disgust, there were three dead
prairie dogs and four wounded, limping round. After
burying the dead and caring for the wounded they pro-
ceeded on their way in search of ducks and chickens, but
after a few days' stroll on the prairie John and Simpson
came back like a sitting bull and a black crow.

A hunter's life on the prairie is not the life for me ;

To shoot wee dogs for chickens, it is a shame you see ;

I'd rather be home in Canada running on the line,

Picking up drummer's tickets, and those who have none — hne.

Bill iUr ! (I '

By the request of a few prominent travellers, I was
asked to give my experience on treating and drinking on
the road. Were I to do so, I would require much more
space than I can afford, as it would take a book of itself to
do so. My only remarks on the subject would be, that
every traveller on the road knows better than I can tell
him, what it is to treat or be treated. There is a certain
amount of treating to be done, and those who can regulate
themselves accordingly are the right men to take the
road ; for my own part I have very often gone over the
fence, and probably have done too much of it ; but there
is a time to stop and a time to begin ; and for me to lay
down a platform on this reform would be like the blind
leading the blind. However, 1 trust ere long that I can
get up and write on the subject without flinching.

I am proud to say that we have no travellers on the
road to-day but those who know how to conduct them-
selves in an orderly and gentlemanly manner, and I have
never known of any one to do that which would bring
disgrace or disrespect on the fraternity.

Here's health to them that's awa ;

And wha winna wish guid luck to our cause,

May never guid luck be ther's fa !

Its guid to be merry and wise,

Its guid to be honest and true,

Its guid to support the commercial cause,

And bide by the buflf and the blue.

I must go back ^o my subject. Our home is on the
road. I was almost forgetting to make mention of Jim
Milne, of Palmerston, a first-rate jovial Irish boy. He
first rusticated on the banks of Lake Huron, in the pretty
little town of Port Elgin ; now he is domiciled in Pal-
merston, where he caters for the boys, day and night, in
good style. Being a central point, the boys come and go
by every train. Jim can be always seen at his post, with
a big bell and a large Newfoundl«,nd dog at his side,

i'l

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nil

ringing the hungry ones to enjoy a first-rate meal.
" Dinner ready, Jim ?" *• Yes, go right in. Here, take a
smile to give you an appetite." This shows that Jim is
not afraid of any one eating too much when he gives
them appetizers. Jim did a fine business in Port Elgin
in the old Queen's. Very often of an afternoon, espe-
cially if it was Saturday, we used to go out herring
fishing, with Jim as captain ; but the captain was always
short of bait, so we had to supply bait and hooks, and the
captain had to supply the beer. One fine Saturday after-
noon a few of us went out, but our luck was poor ; on
our return, Capt. Milne espied a boat coming in. " Here
comes a boat, boys ; we will buy some, so we won't go
home empty." So Capt. Jim hailed the boat, and four
dozen herrings were purchased, and we went home happy
as if we caught them ourselves. Then we all sat for a
photo of the fishing crew, and oh 1 but we looked fine ;
anyhow we had fresh herring for breakfast. Jim, do you
remember this ? Most travellers now-a-days think them-
selves smart, and so they are in their own estimation.
Take this for what it's worth — (it's good if taken right).
A drummer in the old country — I think it was in the High-
land capital, Inverness — on a fine Sunday morning, was
taking a constitutional along the banks of the beautiful
river Ness. There was a bright little boy driving before him
an old cow, and the Glasgow traveller thought he'd pass
one of his off'-handed jokes on the wee Scottie. The cow
was minus the tail, only a short stump. ** Well, mj boy,
who belongs to the cow ?" " No one belongs to it, sir,"
was the prompt reply, " it belongs to my father." " O, it
does ; well, isn't its tail very short." " Well, yes, but you
must understand the beastie is young, and it's only grow-
ing." The traveller, amused by the boy's prompt and
funny answers, put his hand in his pocket and handed
him 2s. 6d. which is GOc, and consoled him by telling him
he was a very smart boy. " Yes, smart enough for oney
traveller frae Glascae." Before I close with conductors.

I must not pass another on the Wellington, Grey and
Bruce, J.E. Schneic^ r.the dramatic conductor. He can sing
comic and sentimeboal songs, dance clogs, and is generally
end man in his grand Christy minstrel entertainments in
Southampton. Schneider has a comical appearance all
over, and always greets his many friends with sardonic
smiles. Ripley is a small village six miles from Port
Kincardine, and is a great place for Highland Scotchmen.
McDonald and Humberstone do the principal business.
Angus McKa}'^ does considerable, also Simmonds. The
McDonalds are well known in history, as being poets as
well as great soldiers, and probably Humberstone is not
aware that his name was prominently brought up during
the wars of 1793 and 1794. In 1793, Francis Humber-
stone Mackenzie, or Lord Seaforth, was the man that
raised the 78th Highlanders, or Ross-shire Buffs, who
fought so bravely in the battles of Assaye, Maida, Java,
Persia, Kooshab and Lucknow.

McDonald, for all the writer knows, may be a descend-
ant of the McDonalds of the Isles. It would take up
too much space to give the history of the McDonalds,
suffice to say they were a brave and fearless race. The
clan McKay is an old Gaelic one. Mr. Simbert is of
opinion that the McKays took their name from the old
Catti of Caithness, and that the chiefs were of the Celto-
Irish stock. This, however, is a very improbable suppo-
sition. Whatever may have been the origin of the chiefs,
there is every reason to believe that the great body of the
clan McKay originally belonged to the early Celtic popu-
lation of Scotland. As 1 am at Ripley, I must relate a
shooting expedition a few of us had around that quarter.
This was shortly after the railway opened through there.
Three of us started out in quest of wild turkeys ; things
went on smoothly until we got all separated. We all
made arrangements to meet at a certain point and get
home at about tea time, but being a lover of gun
sport, I forgot the injunctions, and wandered to a place
unknown to me, and lost myself in the thick bush. It

now began to get dark, and my comrades were no where
to be found. I wandered about, thinking I would come
out on a clearance, until it got so dark, that I made up
my mind I must needs make my bed in tlie woods for
the night. I sat down to rest and light my pipe ; then
looking round I noticed a small pathway, and followed it
as best I could, till it brought me on to a graveyard on
the top of a hill, three miles and a half from the village
of Ripley. Tired and worn out, and covered from head
to foot with burs, I would fain have slept on a grave-
stone. While standing there, I thought on Hervey's
meditation on the tombs, —

I stood and gazed, and no light could I see,

Nor noise could I hear,
But the white grave-stones before, and the

Wind rustling the leaves of the trees.

K^'"'

Here, in awful silence, I stood in this graveyard; what
direction to take I did not know. As quick as thought,
I got out from amongst the dead, and having two charges
in my gun, I discharged right and left. This, to my
great delight, had the desired effect, for in a moment I
could see, a few hundred rods from where I stood, a light,
and I made for it quickly as my sore legs could bring
me. Being hungry and tired out, I got refreshed, and
was afterwards sent to the village, and on the way met
my comrades coming out with lanterns to look for me.
This ended for ever my shooting expeditions in and
round Ripley.

As I am on a shooting expedition, let me now give one
of my fishing events. This time I was all by myself.
Having to wait for a train four hours at a small village
on the Wellington, Grey and Bruce, I thought I'd go
out and try my luck at trout fishing. I arrived at a nice
pond, where I thought I would get some ; got my line
prepared, and hook baited, and got down to work. While
quietly watching how the bites would be, I looked behind
and saw coming right on me a big, ugly, ram, with horns
like a deer. I had no way of escape but to get out on a log
which, by good luck, was near me. I got on the log and
fished away, thinking Mr. Ram would make a quick retreat;
but no ! he stood and eyed me as if I owed him six months'
rent. To move out on dry land would be a dangerous
i^ndertaking, and as it was drawing close to train time I
must needs get away some way. A good idea struck me,
and it worked admirably. I caught a small trout and I
held it over to see if Mr. Ram would smell it, and he did.
I then took out a flask of gunpowder I chanced to have
in my pocket, and crawled as near the end of the log as
I could with safety, so as to get the powder right under
his nose. Bv this time a second ram came to the rescue,
and, thinks I to myself, I'm in a fine box now. The
other, being a larger one than the first, came out into the
water as far as he could, but ere he came up 1 had my

ti'ijiiiiiiit'ii

III

iif:

||t'

powder nicely set, and the Hask light close to it, with a
tew ounces of powder in it. I lit my cis^ar, and when I
got enough of lire to it, 1 stuck it on the hook <"0 the end
of the line. I backed out on the old log as far as I could,
and now for the fun. Mr. Ram No. 1 and 2 came up
smelling, when I let the burning cigar on the powder.
Boom went the powder and flask like a cannon ; in two
minutes the rams were away over a hill and hid to view,
so I made my way home unmolested by any more rams.
I think one of them was black in the face for some time
after, and blind in one eye.

Tommy Carling, the jolly bartender of the Commer-
cial, Clinton, is a great favorite amongst the boys.
Tommy doesn't get mad very often, but when he does
he's a terror. One great feature is, his wrath goes down
very quickly. He is the cha .pion tin-whistle player of
Clinton, and a first-class clog dancer, and is beginning to
train his voice, as he intends to join a first-class minstrel
troupe, as Tom thinks he'd make a good end man. He
sports a mouth organ, but makes a poor fist of it. The
last time I saw him he was sitting at the back of the
door in a corner, trying to squeeze out a few notes of
"Peek-a-Boo." He is extremelv fond of music, and the
boys travelling in any kind of instruments are always
making him little presents. He has now a fine collection,
such as tin-whistles, mouth organs, trumps, concertinas,
flageollets. The last present I saw him get from Lester
was a violin, minus four strings. Tom gave an order to
his shoemaker to have four stiong ones made for his brand
new fiddle, and to have them well rubbed with rosin. Tom
says he is going in for pugilistic honors. He has engaged
Mr. Pat Kelly, of Blyth, to give him boxing exercises,
and next summer he thinks he will be open for challenges
from any part of the world.

O ! it's excellent ,

To hrive a giant's strength ; but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.

M.r. David Smith, the veteran clothing traveller of the
west, is, I presume, the oldest and most respected, also the
most successful on that ground, — a gentleman of very
few words, and what he says carries a load with it. His
walk and conversation is that to be copied by his fellow
travellers, and shows clearly that Mr. David did not forget
the teachings of his youth, for his gentlemanly demeanor
and quiet, unassuming manners have won for him hosts
of friends on the road. Representing, as he does, a first-
class firm, viz., Messrs. Sandford & Co., of Hamilton, for
over seventeen years, there are few clothing men have
such a record.

" The purest treasure mortal times aflFord
Is spotless reputation : that away
Men are but gilded loam, or painted clay."

— Shakespeake.

mif.

iises,

What constitutes a commercial traveller would be a
good subject to write on, but I regret, for my part, my utter
inability to grapple with the subject, so I will leave this
with the boys themselves to solve in their leisure hours ;
and I have no doubt some of them will find out what
constitutes a commercial traveller.

A very good story is told of three travellers in the old
country, who went out one morning for a walk ; and as
travellers are naturally fond of jokes, and one tries to
outdo the other, in this trio there was one who was get-
ting worsted this morning. As they went along they met
an old man with an ass, and this traveller, who up till
now got the jokes on himself, asked the man how much
he'd take for the ass, he said : " £7 10s. 6d. " " ! " says
1^0. 2 " I'll give you one pound for him." *' All right, the
ass is yours." Fancy the plight the poor fellow was in
when the ass was handed over to him, and having to lead
it into town, but owing to the stubborn obstinacy of the
brute he did not arrive home till midnight, when he found
all quiet in nightly slumbers. Not having any suitable

accommodation, he stalled the quadruped in the hall,
resolving to present him to his wife in the morning. He
retired and fell sound asleep, but was soon disturbed by
fearful screams, and on opening his eyes he found Mr.
Ass standing in front of his bed ; his ears, he thought,
looked six inches longer in the dim light. It nearly
drove his wife out of her judgment, and she does not
know yet what brought the donkey there. He was, poor
fellow, the victim of his own joke.

A young Englishman, representing a Montreal hard-
ware house, on his maiden trip, made his first opening in
Stratford, being sent up specially to see a customer who
had always bought from the house. Receiving a good
order, he thought travelling was a very pleasant and
easy job, in fact, a gentleman's job. He was so highly
elated that he was determined to open his heart and give
some one a handsome present. After he got through and
got his heavy boxes packed, he gave orders to the porter
of the hotel to get his baggage to the station, as he was
going to London to take it by storm. While at the sta-
tion he asked the baggage man if London was as big as
Stratford, and which was the best hotel. He was in-
formed that there were a dozen good ones in London.
" Do they run a free 'bus and baggage waggon ? " After
being told in the affirmative, he ]jut his hand in his
pocket, pulled out an orange, and handing it to the
baggage-man, said " This is for you, and when I come
back I will give you something else," — probably an apple
next time, aye ? The baggage-man took the orange, re-
marking that " he would keep it in remembrance of him,
but he would have a kindlier feeling towards him if he
would fork over his baggage fare." " Baggage fare,"
said the English boy, " why I 'ad an idea you chag'd
nothing for baggage. '(Jw much is it, then ? " " Seventy-
five cents, sir." " O.l'U be blowed! that is more than the^
charge in Montreal." The baggage-man advised him to
present no more oranges to such men as him, <jr they

re-

would make fun of him. After getting his baggage on
board he walked through the train, and not finding a
cushion-seated smoking car he made a great hullibullo,
remarking that such cars were not fit for gentlemen. One
gentleman, overhearing the conversation, advised him to
go to Broughton and have him get a special smoker for
himself. I never had the pleasure of again meeting the
little Henglish hardware traveller. Probably he is at
home buying oranges for his mother.

The credit system of the country at the present day is
a most disr.strous one to retailers and wholesale men. An
example of the system in the United States would be a
good one to follow — ten, thirty, and sixty days, and if a
man fails to pay at the expiration of any of these terms,
if he is worthy of carrying through he is accommodated,
if not some other more worthy takes his place, and until
we get the credit system amended our merchants will
al-wrays be dragging along as they are at the present day,
and travellers have the same difficulties to contend with.

I shall relate an instance of stern honesty of a cus-
tomer of a retail merchant who kept a store for over fifty
years in a Scotch town in the North of Scotland, showing
that a hundred years ago they were more prompt in their
payments than they are to-day. This man supplied the
whole district with their merchandise — he neither gave
nor received receipts. At Martimas of each year he col-
lected the amount of his sales, which were always paid
to a day. In one of his annual rounds .t customer hap-
pened to be from home, consequently he returned unpaid,
but before he was out of bed the following morning, he
was awakened by a call from his customer, who came to
pay his account. Aittr the business was settled, his
neighbour said " You are now paid ; I would not for my
best cow that I should sleep while you wanted your money
aftsr your terms of payment, and that I should be the
last in the country in your debt." Such examples of
stern honesty are now, alas, of rare occurrence , many of

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iilli

III

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ii»milll!h

the virtues which adorned not only the Highlands but
fair Canada, have disappeared in the vortex of modern
improvement, by which the country has been completely
revolutionized, and, no doubt there will have to be a
revolution and departure from the present flimsy and
rotten system of doing business.

Again, there is another grievance to contend with,
which is not only annoying to the merchants, but is very
much more so to the weary traveller, that is t e running
out with summer samples in November and December,
and dating goods from 1st April, May, and June. In
hundreds of cases the merchant does not know what he
will require, his fall stock not being broken much ; yet
in many instances he is induced to purchase his spring
goods months ahead of time.

This in many cases proves disastrous. I've seen cases
of this kind so often, so that in many cases the fate of
the merchant depends entirely on the financial strength
of the house he deals w Ith, as he is virtually purchasing
his stock on chance, not linowing what the harvest pro-
spects are to be ; and until the wholesale trade remedies
the present system, and sends out travellers at seasonable
times, the state of trade will be a lottery. There .n be
no doubt that were the wholesale men of all grades of
goods to meet and discuss this very and all important
matter, they would come to an agreement of some kind
that would meet the requirements of the country's numer-
ous merchants, and relieve the traveller from this bondage
and beggary. In conversation with Mr. Fred Grundy, of
Lucknow,who is and has been a most successful merchant.
I asked him : " How is it, Mr. G., that you are so success-
ful ? " " Here is the secret of my success, Mr. Gair,"
taking his discount book out of his desk and showing up
his year's discounts. " Have you always taken your
discounts ? " " Invariably I have since I commenced
business, and I buy my goods as I require them, at the
proper time." "Do you predict a change in the present

system of sending out travellers foiir and six months
ahead of time ? " "I do, and the day is not far distant —
it must come." Mr. Malcolm Campbell, another prosper-
ous merchant, and the oldest in Lucknow, is of the same
opinion as Mr. Grundy, and adds : " If the wholesale men
don't put a stop to ife the merchants may take it in hand."
"I presume, Mr. Campbell, you would not object to
travellers calling on you two months before the time ? "
" Certainly not. I would consider that the proper time,
and I do object to this four and six months ahead of
time. Here are my fall hats hardly touched, and you are
here to sell me summer goods ; don't you think it's pre-
posterous." In conversation with travellers and merchants,
I found the same cry : Boys, we are out too early, how-
ever, we must do as the firms tell us, as we are paid for
it. Let us look for a revolution in this part of our business,
and that before man^?^

-S.

A traveller, by the faithful hound,
Half buried in the snow was found,
Still grasping in his hand of ice
That banner with the strange device,
Excelsior !

— Longfellow.

It was a beautiful morning in July, — by the way the
glorious twelfth, — when the loyal Orangemen were cele-
brating the day in Wiarton. Wiarton, as I said before,
is a beautiful little town on the Georgian Bay, character-
istic in the annals of Canadian history, for its picturesque
beauty — I mean the early history. About twelve of the
clock, noon, Mr. Ely (the genial proprietor of the hotel)
and myself were sitting on the verandah discussing mat-
ters in general, when we espied two teams in the distance
coming lattling in at a 2.40 gait. We could not distinguish
horses from green branches, and for drivers we could see
none. On their couiing closer, we sa,w that it was a
couple of commercials with horses, trunks, and men decked

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witli evergreens. The driver of the foremost team was
Mr. M. S. Lester, of Bleasdale & Co., Toronto, who led his
band with the mouth organ. He (Lester) hired a young
Indian from Spencertown to beat a large tin pail for a
drum, and a young blacksmith from Beaver-ridge, with
his anvil and sledge-hammer for triangle, and Spencer
from Hepworth played the tin whistle — this constituted
Lester's Orange Band.

Mr. K. M. Ritchie, of Eby, Blain & Co., Toronto, was
the owner of No. 2 band. He was not so fortunate as
the former ; he had for h -i drummer a high-toned old
nigger, and his organist a dude from Mulltown. However,
he got the start of Lester, as he had a fair-haired young
squaw carrying the stars and stripes. I need scarcely say
they took the place by surprise ; the Orange bands all
gave way to them, and ere an hour passed bj'^, Lester and
Ritchie were serenaded in grand style at the Ely House.
As usual, there were cries for a speech, and Lester was
the first to come forward, and his speech was short and to
the point.

He addressed them as follows : —

" Gentlemen of the Orange order, as I have driven a
long distance to-day, and feel very much out of sorts, I
am not cut out for a speech to-night, and if you will
promise to excuse me till eight o'clock, I will call you all
in to drink my health — a loyal brother of your own."

Hip-p, hip-p hurrah ! Come on boys ! he's a jolly good
fellow.

Lester now introduces his brother traveller in the
Orange order, in a neat and pretty little speech, as fol-
lows : —

" Gentlemen, I have very much pleasure in introducing
to you my friend and brother Mr. Ritchie, he and I
travelled for many years together. Our first enterprise
was to the Rocky Mountains, from there we crossed over
to China, and finding a Tory Government there we retraced
our steps to Winnipeg. On arriving at Winnipeg we found

Mowat's infantry and cavalry defending the good and
civilized citizens of Brandon. Meeting Mr. Sam Grigg
of the Grigg House, London, I asked him what did all
this mean ? " Oh ! " he says, " It's all over the boundary
award." So we concluded to come to Wiarton for the
twelfth of July. (Cheers from the vast assemblage, and
the Wiarton band struck up, 'For he's a jolly good fellow.')
Gentlemen, you will find in Mr. Ritchie a man of true
Orange blood, of scholastic abilities, and able to treat on
any subject of your order. (Cheers and uproar) — (Cries
of Ritchie ! Ritchie ! from hundreds.)

Mr. R. comes forward ; —

" Gentlemen, I am very much flattered indeed by the
eulogistic introduction of my friend Mr. Lester, but I can
assure you he over-estimates my qualities to you to-night.
However, as I am placed in such a predicament to night, I
must try and do my best. (Cheers.) Gentlemen, I have
always been a true Orangeman. (Hurrah and cheers.)
This is nothinjif new in commercial life, as vou will find
lots of Orangemen among travellers. (Cheers.) Yes, gentle-
men, my great grandfather fought at the battle of the
Boyne, and I have the honor of wearing the watch he
wore on that glorious day. (Cheers) ; and more than
that gentlemen, I have a button cut from King William's
coat on that eventful day. (Cheers) ; and if any of you
be in Toronto any time call at 342 Granite Row, and I
will show it to you. (Cheers.) Nay, more, gentlemen, my
great grandfather's son carried the colors through that
glorious battle, an " it is for these glorious events I feel
proud of standing before you to-night. Come and have
a drink. (Three cheers for King William.)"

Before parting Mr. R. brushed off the following senti-
ments : —

Courage, boys, do not stumble,

Though your paths be strewn with brush ;
There's a star to guide you through,
Trust in God and do the right.

Mr. Robt. Balmer,of Messrs. Greenshield & Co., Montreal,
is one of those lellows who enjoys himself wherever he
goes ; and 1 had the pleasure of meeting him once at
Wiarton, he was on his way to Lion's Head, and so was
I. We got there together in a row boat after two days'
hard pulling. Bob was fleshy and weighed 196 pounds
before starting, and when weighed at the Head he was
short four pounds ; O, my ! he almost broke his heart.

He met a respectable Indian by the name of Taylor, —
that is a nice Indian name. This Taylor lived on a
reserve across the lake, and invited him over to see his
place. Bob accepted the invitation, and they set sail
on a fine afternoon before a favorable wind. I again
met him in Wiarton, three days after. " Hello, Bob !
how did you enjoy your trip across to India?" " O, man!
immense. Come with me and I'll show you the fruits of
my visit." I followed him to his room. In a corner was
an old carpet bag ; he took it out and slowly but surely
opened it, after unloosing alDout twenty yards of rope
from around it. " Here now are some valuable relics I
received from Mr. Taylor." First came out an ugly old
rusty tomahawk, then came a stone hammer, then a dirk,
then a flint pistol, then a scalp, then a string of beads
about three yards long, then an old bible, then a putrified
salmon trout, then an Indian battle axe, and how many
more curiosities I don't know. Anyhow, he has got
quite a museum, and any one desirous of seeing them can
at any time be accommodated by calling at 874 Queen's
Avenue, London. They are really worth seeing, and Mr.
B. prizes them very much. I don't know how many orders
he got in India, but I told him he'd be liable to be taken
for a Fenian for carrying such warlike articles. " Never
mind," says Bob, " there's no dynar^ ^ here. Come, boys,
and have a cigar."

An old gentleman from England going by stage in Ohio
once, got into conversation with an American. They were
very communicative, and the old Cockney asked a great

many questions as to the jn'oductive propensities of the
land. " O, it was good for raising ahnost anything, wheat
oats, potatoes, turnips, hay. Yes, very good." " What
kind of game abounds here ? " " Well," said Mr. Yankee.
" There are in the first place, rabbits, hares, woodcock,
quail, snipe, prairie chicken." " Yes, very good, any of
the larger game." " Oh, yes, lots of deer, wild cats and
wild dogs." "Yes, any other ferocious beasts." " Oh, yes,"
there are rattle snakes, garter snakes, milk snakes. " Yes,
you have given me a great many kinds of game. You say
there are rattle snakes ? " " Yes, they are certainly most
numerous." " Now, suppose I got bit by a rattle snake,
have you got a remedy ? " " Oh, yes, certainly, we cure
snake bites here every day, by adTnlnwterincj lots of
'whwkey." The conversation went on for some time in
another direction, forgetting the snakes and the whiskey,
until they stopped at an old inn, when the Yankee hoUored
out, " O, by jabers ! I have been bit by a rattle snake."
" Bring him whiskey, bring him whiskey ! " hoUored the
Englishman. After he got about enough he was all right."
"You got over it pretty soon," said the Englishman. "Aye,
yes, whiskey is the stuff to kill the poison ; don't you for-
get to try it if ever you get bit, but take my advice and
keep out of the snakes' way.

An old gentleman from England told me the following
story : One day when he was passing St. Paul's in
London, there was an old gentleman there with five
daughters, calling out that he'd give five thousand pounds
to each of them whoever would take them, have your
choice. An Irishman who was passing, hearing the offer,
says, " By jabers, I'll take the lot."

Being at Wiarton, I may as well finish by giving a
short history of a society there, formed by a few pro-
minent commercials — one which I think every traveller
should join. I refer to the noble order of the Sons of
Rest, formed and held in that classic village. It was
formed by a prominent Toronto commercial traveller,

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some five years ago, and now shows a full membership of
about 150, quite a number of these being worthy com-
mercial travellers, whose arduous labors call them up that
way. I would advise every traveller who is not now a
member to become one as soon as possible, when he will
be given the hailing sign, the pass-word, and, in fact, fully
initiated into the mysteries of the order. He who is now
known to the outside world as a son of a gun, will, by
becoming a member of this order, be known as a Son of
Rest. I now by permission of the Mighty High Chief
Ranger, D. C. M. H. M. P. Q. R., append the list of officers,
whose names will be sufficient to testify to the high
standing of the order.

W. R. Holden, High and Mighty Grand Chief Extoler ;
M. S. Lester, High and Mighty Vice Grand Extoler ; F.
Campbell, High and Mighty Grand Scribe ; H. J. Spence,
High and Mighty Grand Chief Marshall.

I won't say any more about the order of the Sons of
Rest ; but any of the boys desirous of joining the order,
see M. S. Lester, of Bleasdells, Toronto, or W. R. Holden,
and they will give all information. I chanced to get a
piece of poetry, composed by one of the mighty chiefs
at one of the banquets, in Wiarton, last year. I am not
sure about the author, but I would not be surprised if
Mr. Lester is the author. Any how, it was sung by him
to the o!d tune, "Coming through the Rye," accompanied
by four mouth organs, a Salvation Army drum, a flutina,
and a French fiddle.

A NIGHT WITH THE SONS OF REST.

BY M. S. LESTER, TORONTO.

A brawley night we had,
The fun flowed fast and free ;

And every one did take his turn
To " save his ain countrie."

A happy crowd we were —

I'll try and tell you all
In plain and concise terms —

So listen, great and small :

First came the " Laird o' Keppal " —

** Would you believe me, Sir" — d'ye ken ?

He sang and danced old " Scots Wa Hae "
And " The march o' the Cam'ron Men."

He was a whole host in himself

• For song, and dance, and play ;

'Mid cheers prolonged, we shout with glee :
" He's the man for Galloway !"

Next on the list came one

Whom all could plainly see
Was perfected in many things.

Chiefly in mimicry.
He gave us several specimens —

Trifles and common sense —
You will bear me out in saying that

With him we'd not dispense.

Dear me, boys, a "mull" Ive made !

The Chairman — where was he ?
For on this list he should be first,

The genial E. and C.
Grieved am I, friends, he's so jn to leave

(An Echo), — now hear him say :
" Ahem ! Gents, I trust you will

Not give this night away."

Another came from o'er the bay,

Who failed to give orations ;
A wise remark he made instead.

Produced a few " sensations,"
The "b>y8" all neatly took them in.

And felt right full o' bliss —
But dear, dear ! what will he say ?

Should Mac ever hear of this !

Two conductors, gay, were there

From oflF the G. T. R.
Quite hearty they enjoyed the — sport,

Thei ' mirth resounded far.

The first is rather scorn , T'ni told,

Who of times says, " You bet.
If every man don't pay his fair

Quick off my train He'll get !"
The second man is so well known

He'll not get in a " huff,"
If I say he was no other than

Our good friend, "Mr. Buff."

Next came a man who glibly sang

A song of great renown ;
I think he said he kent it from

Some famous circus clown.

A gent was present with us, too,

Who's surely off his station ;
He ought at once to quit the road

The pulpit 's his vocation.
Indeed he is the real old stuff,

And don't deserve a scoldin' ;
For many a happy jest that night

To him we were heholdin\

Friend Bruce expressly says he is
Not " Bruce " of Scotch renown.

But all gave credit to his worth —
He did the thing up Brown,.

Another friend we had with us,

A driver, bold was he ;
The loyal part he played was sure

To save our Kanada.
We had second driver, brave.

His presence was no loss ;
He drove the mix and earned the name

Of furious (?) driver, Ross.

W^hen each had done his share, the choir
Struck up " The Lith So Gaily ;"

For which they got a '* compliment "
From our good friend, the hai^ie.

An acquisition came along
Right welcome, too, was he ;

It was an old conductor
From the W., G. & B.

He didn't car' ter have liis name

Mentioned in this verse ;
But we can frankly tell him

He might be doing worse.

Last, but not least, our jovial friend

Of commercial drummer fame ;
ie's stir the puddle up no more.

For, pshaw ! what's in a name ?

Now, all who were with us that night,

Remember all your lives,
To married men — with families —

1 say don't tell your wives !

George T. Hiscox, the leading livery man of the west,
was to give me a lively story about his young days, driv-
ing of commercial men, etc, George is to give me some-
thing good for my next edition. Billy Debeau, the old
and faithful porter of the Grigg House, and the only
three-fingered Jack and notorious in Canada, is a great
favorite with the travellers. He is massing a large for-
tune by his many quarter tips. Billy will send a hundred
of my little books all over the world to his friends, so he
says, as this is a good advertisement for him. He is
talking of opening an hotel in Goose Hollow, in London,
down by the river. Boys, give Billy a call.

Conductor Cran is a good whole-souled Scotchman ; he
aye greets the boys, wi', " Well, laddie who are ye the
day ?" He is the champion hen and chicken-raiser
in the vicinity of the Georgian Bay. Travellers calling
at Wiarton should not fail to call and inspect Mr. Cran's

henery. Conductor Phil , is a lady's man. He is

advertising on the sly in some of the American papers,*
for a wife with something over a few thousands, as he is
very desirous of settling down and taking the rest of his
life easy, and live happy with his dearie.

Then catch the moments as they fly,
And use them as ye ought, man ;
Believe me, happiness is shy,
And comes not aye when sought, man.

'ifi**

ill

I will relate a funny little incident that happened me
in Montreal some years ago. It may seem to the reader
ridiculous, nevertheless, it is true, and to those who believe
in spirits it may seem feasible. For my own part, this
was the first time in my life that I was molested.

I was on an extended trip to the Lower Provinces for
Chas. Huston & Co. Mr Huston is a gentleman of the
first order. On my arrival from below I was badly
used up, and Mr. Huston sent me right away to my
hotel to rest for a few days before starting west. I
engaged one of the warmest rooms in the house — I must
not give the hotel away, in case some of the boys might
believe what I am about to relate. It was a very cold
night in December, 1879. The room was large, and at
one end of it there was a fair size box stove ; this stove,
when I entered the room, was burning in good shape,
and the room was exceedingly comfortable. Mr. Huston
sent his head man over to see that I procured a com-
fortable room. After sitting with me for an hour or
so, he bade me good night. I had some papers to read,
and after going to bed, I drew a small table to my bed-
side, with a coal oil lamp, and began perusing the news
of the day. I did not read very long till the little table
gave a snap, and I looked to see if it broke in two. I did
not think much of this ; so I went on reading, and all at
once the stove began to rattle as if some one was throw-
ing wood into it. I got up to see what was the matter,
and the noise stopped. Again I went to bed and began
reading ; I was only a few minutes reading when I
thought the head of the bed was split in two, as if some
one hit it with a sledge hammer. I now began to get
annoyed, and more angry than Irightened, so I rang the
bell, and up comes the porter, and said I to him, " look
here, the devil is in this room, I want another room."
" What's the matter ?" " Why, the stove rattles, my bed
was almost smashed in, and that little table nearly split
up.'' " O, nonsense, nonsense !" " Well, you stay for a

few minutes and see for yourself." He stayed, but if he
had stayed all night, no sound would be heard. So, after
a while, he bade me good night. He was not gone twenty
minutes when every piece of furniture in the room began
to crack. Thinks I to myself, I must be haunted by some
spirit for the first time in my life. Any how, I kept on
reading until a slap on tlie wall, riglit by my side, scared
me somewhat, then a continual rattling on the stove-
pipe. By this time I began to get mad in earnest, and
concluded to try and sleep come what would, as I knew
there was nothing to hurt me. I tried to sleep, but to no
purpose ; the infernal noise kept up, and I was doomed
to torment for the night. I did fall off in a slumber for
about an hour, and was roused by more hideous noise, and,
to my horror, my lamp out. By good luck, I was well
supplied with matches, and soon struck a light, but could
see nothing in the room.

I was curious to find out what all this mysterious noise
in the room was, and made inquiries in the morning, and
I found out that next room to me there was a newly
married couple, and their stove was close to my bed, and
they made noises of all kinds, but not a word spoken.
The cracking of the furniture was the heat of the room
after a severe frost, and the lamp going out was bad oil.
After that I would not have newly married couples sleep
next to me, and make noises, and say nothing. If I had
heard them speak it would have eased my mind con-
siderably, for I surely thought the devil was in the room.

Mr. Christie, of Bryce & McMurrich's, Toronto, is an old
veteran of the road, probably one of the oldest at the
present day on the Wellington, Grey, and Bruce. It
was a bright summer day in August, '82, when I overtook
Mr. C. driving into the celebrated village of Pinkerton.
Pinker ton proper is situated about two and a half miles
from the station. There is a terrific hill as you enter the
place from the station. About the top of this hill I

-H

overtook Mr. Christie and passed him, to go down at ease,
as I thought. I found that ere I went far down the hill
my horses became unmanageable, and away we went
down the rough road at a thundering rate. Of course,
having a hill on the opposite side to ascend, it stayed the
progress of my steeds, but not enough to save the barn
door of the hotel-keeper, for I went right bang against it
and broke it open. I was warmly congratulated by Mr.
C. for the manner in which I managed the horses, and
got off with whole bones.

When representing a Toronto millinery house, D.
McCall & Co., I had a narrow escape. This was another
coming down hill accident. I don't remember the name
of the hill, but most travellers who go to Owen Sound
know the long and steep hill as you come in from Chats-
worth. I had occasion to drive to this little village.
My driver and myself started early in the morning from
Owen Sound. AH went well till we were returning,

'* AWAT WENT OUR SlEEDS DOWN THE HiLL AT A TeBBIBLE GaIT,'

«.^

when cat the top of the hill the whiftletree broke loose,
aii<l away went our steeds down this hill at a terrible ^'ait.
The driver was tirst out and received sevei'e injuries. [
thought I was safe in jumping out in the middle of the
road, but as soon as I struck the road I was liftiMJ, I
thought, to the third heavens, and 1 knew nothing till 1
found myself lying forty-five feet from where I jumped
from the rig, alongside the fence, with my face and head
bleeding profusely. I gathered myself up to see where
jny driver was. He was coming lim|)ing along an<l afraid
to speak. I called to him. He almost fainted with joy,
for he thought his good master was killed. " My God,"
he says, "are you living?" "O yes, but some hurt."
*' Well, be dad, I was scared to come near ye, as I saw ye
tumble down that embfinkment." There was a nijji^er
wench coming up the hill at the time, and with a sardonic
smile she looked at me, and my face covered with blood,
and says, " Say, Mister, are ye much hurt?" I could not
answer but had to laugh, and said, " Do you see .that
blood?" " 0, yes, and I saw ye turn fifteen somersaults
before you reached the fence." If I had a quarter at the
time I'd have o'iven it to that nio'<vcr <ai»l, for she cheei'ed
me very muchly.

For you sae douce, wlui sneer at this,
Ye're nought but senseless asses, O,
The wisest man the world ere saw,
He dearly lo'ed the lasses, 0.

It inaj^ be interesting to read a little story of two
travellers from the south of England. At one time, going
through -Scotland on a hunting tour, they came to
Inverness, tht '\pital of the Highlands, and had to cross
a ferry, very well known to some of the boys on the
road, called " Kessock." There happened to be on the
same boat two of Scotland's greatest divines. (Jne of
tlie tiavelling boys had a small Newfoundland pup (now
in those days ministers would join in a harmless and

hearty conversation and fun as well as the next one), so
one of the boys thought he'd have a gO( d joke on the
ministers, so he asked No. 1 if he would kindly christen
his dog. No. 1 WHS greatly shocked, but No. 2 was equal
to the occasion, and when asked, said, "Certainly I'll
christen your dog. Hold up your dog," cried the rev.

Holding hih Dog for Baptism.

gentleman. He stood up with the dog in hands, and Mr.
Minister proceeded as follows, " Do you, sir, before God
and these witnesses, profess to be the father of this dog?"
The poor dog was pitched overboard, and Mr. T. sat down,
making up his mind not to try any more such freaks on
Scotch divines.

Travellers, as a rule, are very clever, and they must
not be too much flattered if I say some of them are overly
so. An instance of this may be seen in the following
little story:

As the train slowed up at the station a commercial
man who had been noticed in earnest conversation with
a brother was heard to remark, "Smart! why he's the

smartest drummer you ever met anywhere; why he's
smart enough to sell suspenders to a dog."

Another commercial-looking man nodded his head at
the very happy illustration, and everybody thought the
conversation was ended, when a lonesome-looking in-
dividual on the opposite side of the car remarked, " It
doesn't take a very smart man to sell suspenders to a
dog." Even the sleepy passengers aroused at this start-
ling remark by the lonesome-looking individual, and the
commercial man asked in some surprise, " Why not?"
" Because it doesn't." " What would a dog want with
suspenders." " To keep up his pants," softly murmured
the lonesome-looking individual, gazing out across the
snow-swept waste, with a far-away look in his voice.

And the astonished brakesman sighed so loud as
to crack every lamp chimney in the car. — [Rockla7id
Courier.]

I am not going to give the boys away, but I would like
to give a few hints regarding what came under my own
notice on the road. It shows plainly that smart and all
as we think ourselves, we are very apt to put our foot in
a trap once in a while. On my part, this would be a
short piece of advice to travellers. I have met men who
made changes and made engagements with rival firms.
These men of course got bigger salaries. They go out on
the road, interview their old customers, and in interview-
ing they begin to run down their old masters in a most
shameful manner. The merchant will certainly listen to
anything of this kind, but I am very sure he don't care
much about it. It would be very much in accordance
with the laws of commercial etiquette for all travellers to
keep quiet on subjects of this kind, and keep to the old
motto " If you can't say a good word in his favor, hold
your tongue."

So be frank and honest, boys. I have represented a
good many houses, and done well for them all, and could

100

luiV(; stavod witli ;in\' of tlicni as loiin- as I likod ; luit 1
rhaiii«(Ml, Jiiul who wa.s to hlaiiio i I ciMtainly was to
Klaint!, not my masters. 1 t'oiiiid every master I worked
for, witli the exception of one firm, to l»e gentlemen, and
this on(^ exception I eouhl not witli ;i clear eonseienee say
one sinj^le wonl ai^aiiist. I am oi opinion that travcileis
are well ti ited hy their firms; l»y sayini; this ] may he
contradict! j^ some of my other writings on the suhject.
i am of oj)inion that a traveller's joh is a thankless one, -1
maintain it is yet, hnt it* he (h)es not sell goods enough to
please the firm he gets a letter prohahly to tliis eti'eet.

"Dear Sir, — Your orders to hand, contents oi" lettiir
noted (this is a great old fogey style). If you can't do
any better we will be compelled to ask you to resign. "

How w^ould a })oor devil feel on receiving a letter like
this from the tirm.

(), Hoys, I have often said in my prayers — don't
doubt the fervency — " Would to God employers knew
half what we travellers have to contend with. If they
saw us opening our samples in a large barn, oi- a room
not biggc]' than a box-stove ; if they saw us wait on a
customer twenty hours, and get ignominiously sent off'
without an order." John Hooper, of Messrs. Sandford,
Vail h Co., Hamilton, prayed once — and John's pra>'er is
a good and suitable one, and I have no doubt it came
straight from the heart. This prayer was delivered in
Cliarley Errington's house, in Petrolia. That eventful
night Charley did the preaching, John the praying, and
your humble servant the singing and reporting.

Hooper's prayer, after singing : —

" Lord, ye ken oor mission here the nicht ; accept
oor thanks for Yer grea*fc kindness tae us last w^eek. Ye
ken, O Lord, oor hard luck this week ; winna Ye mak a
change in affairs, and open the hearts o' Thae merchants
tae gie us a chance. Ye ken, O Lord, we are Yer ser-
vants on the line, and if w^e do anything amiss Ye nmn
forgive us if we ask aricht. O keep us frae ah profana-

; l.ut I
was tn
work»Ml
in, antl
net' say
avi'U*'!"^
may )h^
sul)*H'Ct.

onu, ~i

rtect.
)\' WiivA'
can't «.1<)

tter in<o

■s — don't

3rs knew
If they
a room
lit on a
sent ort"

hand ford,
)rayei' is

L it came
vercd in
eventfid

rinn', and

; accept
leek. Ye
|e inak a
lierchauts
lYer ser-
Ye nmn
profana-

tion of (»ney kind ; mak tlu' nHMclinnts like onrscjlves,
willinj'' to L-ivt^ orders, as Ve ken \\(» are oidy too willinu"
to tak tliem frae tliem. r>l<5ss my i'ellow trav(dl(Ms; may
we a' hv like hrithers, liel|)in<^ ane another in all onr
works, niw, matter wliat line we are in, oi- what liouse wi'
r(^[)reHent, <tti<l nnj t'arnest prayer is that we may aye
walk in unity and love, and if we eari't say a i^ood word
ahorjt a hrither traveller, shut ooi* mootlis, is the <'arnest
prayer of Youj* servant, John lloopej-.

.lohn Millar, of Messis. J. ( Jieen & Co., is one oi" my
oldest companions on the road. John is a i;reat ln»y, and
J venture to say there is no man on the Western to-day,
better thought of than he. He is kind and of genial
disposition ; he is always the same no matter when you
meet him. John told me the following- story about an
Irishman, who went lumie to see Old Erin, and he heard
a great deal about the blarney stone (understand this
man was born in Canada, of Irish parentage), lie was
anxious to see the blarney stone, also anxious to kiss it,
John says he kissed it. Every one knows the results of
a kiss of the blarney stone. However, this man kissed
the stone, and when he retuined to Canada he told his
wife he had kissed the stone. Mrs. A. to husband,
" What kind of a stone is this here stone ? " " Oh, it's a
blarney stone." " Sure, and what do you mean by blarney
stone ? " " O, it's a stone the b'ys and girls mv. fond of
kissing." " An' ye kissed it, did ye ? " '' I did." " And
how do yon feel now ? " "I feel nuich the bettci- of it."
" In what way, Pat ? " " O, be jabers, I must kiss every
nice looking girl I meet. That is the effect ov the
blarney stone." " Well," says Mis. P., " if that is so, ye
don't want nie round any longer, so good-bye Pat, I'm
away." " Hould on, Meg, I only kissed the blarney
stone, and I did not kiss any one but yerself since. You
and you only is the darling ov me heart, and you must
shtay wid me." " Schtay wid yls ? Yes ay you promises

I'*

...J.

102

me ye'll kiss no more blarney stones or blarney girls."
" Suer me darlin', I vrill promise ye I will never see Ire-
land's blarney stone again."

'* Farewell Ould Ireland, and
The blarney stonu I once kissed,
I nearly lost my lovely Meg,
For I kissed every girl I met."

Mr. George Hamilton, of Sandford's, is not only an Al
story-teller, but is considered one of the boys on the
north trip. George is death on overcoats, pants, and
vests, but he tells the story of " Turn the C'-.ink, Dinnis,"
in fine style. While spending his holidays in Port Elgin
one summer, George and a few more of us got up one fine
summer morning to go trout fishing. He claims to be a
champion fisher. On arriving at the pond we all cast our
lines, and all were getting fish but George, and O ! he was
right mad. At last he got a bite — it was a good one, too,
for he pulled out a monster cat-fish. Being of a most
peculiar colour we advised him to send it to Barnum.
He took the cat-fish home, but we never heard what he
did with it.

Jim Mackie, of the American Hotel, Toronto, is a great
favorite with the boys. He is always on hand to give a
hearty reception. Jim has a very fine tenor voice, and
his favourite song is " Over the Garden Wall," and he
only sings it on special occasions. Jim is of Scotch des-
cent, and claims to be descended from the Fourth Duke
of Athol ; if so, Jim is very highly connected. One
word for the American Hotel. It is now one of the best
k ept in Toronto, and is always a warm home for the boys,
and for Jim's benefit I will relate a little incident that
happened in 1830, between the Fourth Duke of Athol
and a Highland Scotchman.

The Duke was partaking of a glass of wine in his
drawing-room, when an old Highlander passed the win-
dow, whose appearance struck his Grace, and he enquired

103

girls."
ee Ire-

y an Al

on the
its, and
Dinnis,"
rt Elgin
, one fine

to be a
[ cast our

1 he was
I ooe, too,
^ a most

Barnum.

what he

is a great
to give a
roice, and
/' and he
^otch des-
•th Duke
,ed. One

the best
. the boys,
[dent that

of Athol

ine in his

the win-

le enquired

who he was. " His name," replied his servant, " is Donald
Cameron ; he is a mosji^ingular character, and an enthusi-
astic admirer of the Stuarts, and he showed his attacli-
ment to them by taking the field in Forty-Five, and he
knew your uncle well." *' I should like to see him,"
replied his Grace." Tonald being called in, the Duke
asked him a great many questions, and when Tonald was
about to retire he was asked to have a glass, and drink
the health of his Grace, which he immediately did. A
second glass was filled up, and he was requested to empty
it in honour of the King. Donald's features assumed a
difierent character, and looking archly, he asked : " Fat
king ? " " King George, certainly ; the present king."
" Weel, weel," replied Donald, with a most expressive
shrug of the shoulder, " gin that be the king you un-
derstood, Donald's no dry."

Robert Gouinlock, the well-known, successful, and
jolly grocery traveller, tells a good story about a High-
land man in the North of Scotland, who went to church
one cold winter morning, and was compelled to listen to
a scolding sermon, preached by his minister. Bobbie
happened to be walking home after sermon ahead of the
parson, when he slipped into a small inn on the way, and
had a glass of Glen li vat whiskey, and on coming out met
the parson in the face. He was asked what was his
errand to such a place on the Lord's day. Bobbie, in his
rough way, said : " I was ferry try, and went in for a
drink." " And what did you drink, Robb ; cold water ?"
" No sir." " Milk ? " " No sir." " What then did you
drink ? " "I chust drunk half a gill of guid whiskey."
" I suppose you enjoyed it better than my sermon to-day ? "
" I must say I did " " Was the sermon good, and did it
not affect you any ? " Bob reflected a little and said,
" Well, yes, the sermon was good, but the whiskey was
vera much better." " You must join the temperance,"
said the parson. " What de ca' that kind o' thing 1 "
" It's an institution to make the like of you stop drink-

104

mg.

" Ah, well, it' it niun be so, ye had better join it
yerscl', for ye bad a iiiug* o' whisjiey in the pulput, and
ye were sup, miplng ah the time, and niaked me tliirdc
like havino- a glass masel' "When ye'd g*>t through, for it
was twa lang tvvixt drinks fae me." And again, Bob
was a great man to raise young ones, and every year for
eleven years he never missed going to the minister to
have one baptized, and when it came to the twelfth the
parson strongly advised him not to bring any more, and Bob
of course promised he would not bring one next year. At
the end of the year Bob comes round and asks for IVIr.
Parson. " Well, Bobby, are ye come to sign the pledge ? "
" Na, na, sir." " What then, anything wrong ? " " Not
vera muckle." " And what is it ? " " ]t's twa this time."
" What is it ? " " 0,it's young uns ; a boy and an infant."
"A boy and an infant!" "Yes sir." "What do you
mean by an infant; is it a girl ?" " AL er richt, it is
sir. Ma wife tell me when I wad meet ye tae be modest
and say infant." " Bobbie, did you not promise me you
would not bring one more to me ? " " Yes, I did sir, and
hae I not keepit ma word, for a brocht ye twa." " Ye
are very fond of your wife, Bobbie ? " " 0, yes, I aye
liket the lasses and they liket me in return." " Would
you marry again if your wife died, Bobbie ?" " Weel,
that is a vera strange question, but she's nae going to dee
yet. She looks gay fine, and may outlive you and me
yet, and she'll be at kirk next Sunday, and we will hae
the wee uns to get them named." " And what are you
going to call them ? " " Well, sir, we thocht we mun call
them names from the Quid and New Testaments." "Very
good, Bobbie, and did you find names there to suit
you ( " " O, yes, we will call the boy Absolom, and the
infant Goliath." " Why, Bobbie, your mixed, that's the
names of two great men ; Absolom was David's son, and
Goliath was the great king of the Philistines, whom
DavM slew." "O, well, we nuni call the boy -Absolom
and the infant Mary or Martha." " Very good, Bobbie,

105

and you promise this to be your last time of callincf ? "
" ( ), yes, sir, if the Lord wills it."

' ' Gee me a caniiie hour at e'en.
My arms about my dearie, O !
An' warldly cares and warldly men .
May a' gae tapsalterie, O ! "

I have now made mention of travellers, conductors, etc.,
but have so far far omitted to give the engineers a breeze,
the men who pull the throttle and bring us home on
Saturday nights to our little families and homes, at the
rate v,f fifty miles per hour. I shall only give a song
written by an engine driver. I don't know the author

"Wk plun'ok up the mountain and travkl thk moou."

106

of this little song, but I presume Johnnie Evans, late of
the L. H. & B, line, now driving on the main line, knows
something about the authorship :

With our hearts a-blazing in every chink,
With coal for food, and water to drink,
We plunoe up the mountain and travel the moor.
And startle the grouse in our daily tour.
We yell at the deer in their lonely glen ;
We shoot past the village and circle the ben ;
We flash through the city on viaducts high,
As straight as an arrow, my steed and I.

Chorus.

Whistle and puft'the whole day round,
Over the hills and under ground,
Rattling fast and rattling free —
O ! a life on the road is a life for me.

Oh, down by the river and close by the lake,

We skim like the swallow, and cut through the brake ;

Over the mountains and round by the lea,

Through the black tunnel and down to the sea.

Clatter and bang by the wild riven shore.

We mingle our shrieks with the ocean roar ;

We strain and we struggle, we rush and we fly —

We'er a terrible pair, my steed and I.

Chorus.
Whistle and puff the whole day round, etc.

The Norseman of old, when quaffing his mead.
Delighted to boast of his ocean steed ;
The British tar, in his foaming beer.
Drinks to his ship, as his mistress dear ;
The warhorse good is the trooper's theme.
But what are all those to the horse of steam.
Such a riotous, rollicking roadster is he,
Oh, the iron horse is the horse for me.

Chorus.
Whistle and puff the whole day round, etc.

107

We travellers are in daily contact with conductors,
brakesmen and baggagemen, but we don't meet the engine
drivers, nor do we think much about them — the men who
hold the most responsible positions, and bring us in safety
to our different destinations ; and while we are sitting
comfortably in the smoking car, chatting and spinning
yarns, the faithful driver has his hand on the throttle and
his mind on his living cargo behind him. They are, as a
rule, most courageous and faithful servants : how many
have faced the dangers of the road, and stood to their
post even unto death.

As I am on the engineer subject, I will relate a short
story given to me by an old engineer, now a well-to-do
merchant in a small town on the C. S. R. He is an Irish-
man, but a great admirer of Robbie Burns, and can sing
a Scotch song in fine style. He recited to me one night
a few verses of a song I never heard before, and for all I
know it may have been himself, addressing his sweetheart
in Scotland : —

Lassie braw, come awa,'Come to Americj^,
Fair is thy home on the banks of Lake Erie ;
After the beams of yon bright setting sun
Gladden the top of yon blue Highland mountain.

Scotland, the land of my forefathers, farewell,
Wallace and Bruce, whose deeds famed for bravery —
Farewell to my country, O sweet Caledonia !
Peace to eacu iiome, and to each Highland dearie.

" Willie I " she cried, and she stretched out her lily arm,
Fast fae her rosy cheeks, down came the tearie ;
" Willie ! " she cried, and she stretched out that lily hand
" Take me awa to the banks o' Lake Erie."

I happened to meet Hamilton Corbett when on his tour
through Canada., in Port Kincardine. He had an appoint-
ment at Tiverton, and the day he had to go it rained in
torrents, but he must needs go. ^ was going also on
business, and I concluded to accompany the vocalist. We

108

all started in good time, and got along splendidly till
within four miles of the place, when one of the rigs broke
down, and still the rain came down fast and furious.
There was a small house near by, and we concluded to go
over for a short time to gel dried. We were met at the
door of the log shanty by a little fat woman, who gave us
a very hearty welcome. She said to us, *' you better go
into the kitchen till I get the pigs out of the other room."
Being curious to know if she was in earnest, we concluded
to see for ourselves, and lo and behold ! six little black-
an-tan pigs lay in a corner of the little room, so we con-
cluded not to go into that room, and we staid in the
kitchen. Corbett asked her how she lived in the house
with pigs. " O, weel, they were sickly, and I only took
them in this morning." So we drove away, and Corbett
composed a song : —

" Pigs to the right of us, hens to the left of us,
While it rained, blew and thundered."

While on a trip through Cape Breton in 1878, 1 met in
Bradore a huge Scotchman, they called Donald Mclntyre.
Donald kept a small groceiy, and at the back end he had
some refreshments for the boys when they came along,
such as whiskey, beer, etc. Donald was a good-hearted
soul, and eii'oyed a joke as well as the next one, so he
proposed one morning that we go out on the bay and have
a Hsh, he being the proprietor of a little smack. We
agreed to go, and after getting fishing tackle and mackerel
hooks, we started. After beino- out for an hour or two
it began to blow, and our smack leaped over the waves
like a duck. One of our oan*)' asked Donald if he thouiJ:ht
the boat safe. " Safe, did ye say ? Och, mon, she'll be
safe as an ocean steamer. She wadna be scared to cross
the Atlantic in her." " Is she an old boat, Donald ? "
" Och, no, she'll be no very old, whatever, only four years."
After staying in shelter for some time our captain con-
cluded we should steer for port, but D(jnald insisted on

109

staying to catch more fish. Tliiiiiijs were becoinin<jf niono-
tunous, and a sonn* was called for from Donahl^ and he gave
us ill good style a song entitled " Big Donald from
Bradore." A few vei'ses may be interesting : —

When Donald he got out into the bay

He got as drunk as the devil ;
He went up to the captain, and says,

"Captain, I'm anything but civil."
Big Donald from Bradore.

Chorus.

Wild and crazy, drunk and la/y.
Big Donald from Bradore.

When Donald went to Boston

He bought a suit of clothes,
He tlrrew away his home-spun pants,

Likewise his crooked brogues.
Big Donald from Bradore.

Chorus.

Wild and crazy, drunk and lazy,

Big Donald from Bradore. '

There is nothing more disheartening to a traveller than
to go a few days without taking orders, and there are
houses that are apt to blame their representatives, witli-
out taking into consideration the depression and hai'd
times ; and I envy travellers who represent firms, that
in the face of all this encourage the boys on, instead of
writing letters of the most discouraging nature. When a
traveller nsceives a little of encourajyement, it sets him to
work with a will, and is of more value to him and the
firm he represents than a cliecjuefor $50. I do not wish
to oidarge on this subject, although there is room for a
good deal to be said. There are many kinds of disposi-
tioned employers. I have met one who would give you
a shake of the hand when you start on a trip, and would

! i

110

wish you every success, and give you a hearty welcome
back. I have met those who would give you a grunt
and say, " take care of yourself, and see and not get
drunk." I have met those who would take no notice of
you going out or coming in. Yet we are the men who
make the money for such growlers. There are some
wholesale men that, were the angels in heaven to come
down and represent them, they would find fault.

Travellers are daily learning lessons, and they find out
by experience — and that experience is hardly earned —
that they have rough times of it and little thanks.

OUR WATCH WORD IS " PERSEVERANCE ; AND TRY
OVER AND OVER AGAIN."

Over and over again, no matter which way we may tuni,

We always find in the book of life some lesson we have to learn.

We must take our turn as it comes, we must grind out the golden

grain ;
We must work at our task with a resolute will, over aiid over again.

We cannot measure the mind of even the biggest buyer,

Nor check the flow of the golden sands that run through a single

hour.
But the morning dew must fall, and the sun and summer rain
Must do their part, and perform it all, over and over again.

Over and over again the dusty roads we must go,

And over and over again the ponderous trunks and waggon goes ;

Once doing will not suffice, tho' doing be not in vain,

And a blessing failing us once or twice, may come if we try again.

iiii. i

The boys won't think me tedious if I make yet a few
rambling remarks on the clan' tartans. I once saw a
traveller in Inverness, the capital of the Highlands,
dressed in the Highland garb. He represented, or rather
carried nothing but samples of tartans. What am I say-
ing ? Why, I saw a grocery traveller in Lucknow dressed
in the kilts, and he looked like a real 42nd Highlander.
I don't know if it will yet come to travellers to wear kilts.

Ill

It would not do for millinery men to don the garb. The
intense interest that travellers are taking in the Caledon-
ian games, makes me think that our sons and daughters,
and the rising generation of the present day, will take to
the noble tartans, for nothing looks prettier than the dress
on men, boys, girls or women ; and I would like to see
the day that our dry goods travellers will be carrying
samples of all the clan tartans. Anyhow, some of the
officers of the Caledonian games, and they are travellers,
will soon have a chance to make bare their legs for a
season.

It may be interesting to give a brief sketch of the
history of the tartan. Its antiquity has been called in
question by several writers, who have maintained that it
is of modern invention. As far back as 1471 mention is
made of the tartan, as the following account, charged
against John Bishop, of Glasgow, treasurer to James III.,
shows : —

An elne ane halve of blue tartane to

lyne his gown of cloth of gold £1. 10s. 6d.

Four elne and ane halve of tartane for a
sparwurt abun his credill, price ane
elne 10s £2. oa. Od.

Halve ane elne of duble tartane to lyne
collars to her Lady the Queen, price
8s £0. 8s. Od.

£4. 3s. 6d.

It is suppjcssd that Joseph's coat of many colors was
somewhat of the same nature as a tartan. Some writers
say it is probably the oldest pattern ever woven, but
what about the old shepherd's plaid of Scotland ? It is
known to have a very remote antiquity amongst the
eastern nations of the world, and it has been proved by
such men as Logan, from Diodorus, Pliny, and other
ancient writers, that variegated cloths were in common

li'

n'2

Use for purposes of dress amonc^ the continental Celts.
Again, in August, lo8<S, in Scottisli history we find an
account for a higldand dress, made for King James V.,
on the occasion of that monarch making a himting ex-
cursion into the Highlands.

Great writers were of opinion that tartans would he
extinct to-day wei'e it not for an act passed in 1746 in
the British Parliament. After the fatal battle of Cidlodcv
Moor, in 1745, the Duke of Cumberland, not satisfied
with his terrible slaughter of the Highlanders on that
day, but to humiliate the elans, or the brave mountain-
eers as they were also called there (which neither he nor
any general after him ever did or will) urged the necessity
of passing an act to disarm them. This did not annoy them
much, although tliey did not like it, but when abolition
of the kilt and tartans was forced on them, it was a bitter
pill for those brave fellows to swallow.

After the acts were two years in force, and after having
to submit to all sorts of cruel punishments, such as flog-
ging, imprisonment, banishment, and even death, the
Government saw that it was as useless as it was unfair,
and abolished it to the great delight of the Highlanders.
After this the tartans were in greater demand than ever,
and there are those who believe that we have the Duke
of Cumberland to thank to-day for tartans being in sucli
demand in the nineteenth century.

The Bagpipes.

lilill!

I have known travellers in the old country and one or
two in Canada, who were first-class performers on the
pipes. I understand Mr. Lester, of the Wiarton Sons
of Rest, has ordered two sets from Edinburgh. 1
hope he will try his hand and master it, as he
would be a great acquisition to our Caledonian Society.
It is a wonder that Cumberland did not ask his fathei-
and royal monarch to pass an act prohibiting its use.

I have often heard travenors ^voinar1< ^that^ bagpipes
indoors are hideous; so they are, as they are anythini^
hut |)lea.sing to tlie ear. General Stuart says tliat this is
a Lowland and English custom, hi the Highlands the

PlJOF. MOOK AT THK LuCKNOW GaMKS.

pi])or is always in the open air, and when people wish to
dance to his nuisic, it is on the green, if the weather permits,
and nothing hut necessity makes the Highlanders attempt

riiii'

114

a pipe (lance in the liouse. The bagpipes are a field instru-
ment, intended to call the clans to arms, and animate
them in battle, and was no more intended for a house
than a round of six pounders. A broadside from a man-
of-war, or a round from a battery, has a sublime and
impressive effect at a proper distance. In the same manner
the sound of the bagpipes, softened by distance, had an
indescribable effect on the mind and action of the High-
landers. But dearly as Highlanders love the pipes, when
close to them their ears are grated by its shrill piercing
notes and they dislike it as much as they would if under
che muzzle of a twenty-four pound gun. I trust my
fellow travellers will not think I am deyotfng too much
to Scottish events, but as I have said before, as there
are a great many of the boys Scotch, and of Scotch
descent, a few incidents of ancient Scottish events may
be of interest. I shall now conclude Scottish events by
giving a specimen of ancient Scottish poetry in Gaelic
and English.

GAELIC POETRY OF THE TWELFTH CENTURY.
By a. McPherson, "Ossian."

Mitihch domh triall gu tigh Pharais,
'Nuair a' ghuin gun e soirbh,
Cosuaim an tigh treun gun choire,
Gun sgeul aig neach 'eil oirnn.
Dean do srinth ri do shagairt
'Scoir cuimhne ach gu dlu' umad olc.
Na beir do thigh righ gun agle —
Sejeul a's priomb ri agradh ort,
Na dean folchainn a'd pheacadh,
Go grain ri innseada a h — olc ;
Leigeadh de'd chuid an cleith diomhar,
Mur be angair a gabhail ort,
Dean do shith ris an luchd — dreuchd.
Ge dona, ge anmhuinn le'd chor,
Sguir ri'd lochd, do ghul dean domhain
Mu'm bi olc ri fhaighinn ort,
Mairg a threigeadh tigh an Ardrigh,

115

Aig ghreiidh pracaidh, turagh an ni,
An t — olc ni duine gu dionihair
lomadh an sin fiachan mu'n ghniomh,
Aig so soarmoin do whiol an Adhainih,
Mar shavilim nach bheil so an bhreug,
Fulang a bhais seal gu seachainn
An foar nach domh gu'n toid.
Fhir a choannaich siol an adhainih
D'fhiiil, a choUa, 'us da chridhi,
Air a roir gu'n deauadh sealga,
Ger ge dian ri'm pheacadh mi.

ENGLISH TRANSLATION.

'Tis time for me to go to the house of Paradise

While this wound is not easily borne,

Let me win this house, famous, faultless.

While others can tell nought else of us.

Confess thyself now to thy priest.

Remember clearly all thy sins ;

Carry not to the house of the spotless King

Aught that may thee expose to charge.

Conceal not any of thy sins

However hateful its evil to tell ;

Confess what has been done in secret,

Lest thou expose thyself to wrath ;

Make thy peace now with the clergy,

That thou mayest be safe as to thy state ;

Give up thy sin, deeply repent,

Lest its guilt be found on thee.

Woe to him who forsook the great King's house

For love of sin, sad is the deed ;

The sin a man commits in secret

Much is the debt his sin incurs.

This is a sermon for Adam's race,

I think I've nothing said that's false,

Tho' men may death for a time avoid,

'Tis true, they can't at length escape.

Thou who has purchased Adam's race,

Their blood, their body, and their heart.

The things we cherish thou dost assail,

However I may sin pursue.

With Mr. Goss' (editor Gonnmercial Traveller) perm is-

TIG

ii:

i K

sion I will copy from liis paper (January issue), a few
complimentary remarks made by Dr. Rollet at the C-om-
mercial Travellers Schools' annual dinner held in Lon<lon,
England. "They were men," he said "who necessaiily
led a hard and homeless, life and who were yet the
peaceful messengers of the world's commerce, . and who
forged the strongest links which united nation to nation,
and town to town."

On looking over an old diary book, I found in it
accounts of every day's proceedings, when I first started
on the road ten years ago, a greenhorn of course- -and a
man starting for the first time to face the music makes
him shake in his boots. Ten years ago I started out for
my good old masters, Muni'o, Henderson & Mackenzie,
Hamilton. Better masters I never had nor do I expect
to have. If business was dull at any time, they always
had a cheering word for a disappointed traveller.

Man will remeinljer long

The friends who treat him well,
And a cold shoulder will he show

The men who treat him ill.

As I am only going to give a few of the first daily
events from my diary I need not mention dates.

Fird d((//s proceedivys. — Stai'ted with three monstrous
trunks (three hundred poundei's) for 8t. Mary's ; baggage;
went astray at Paris; was in a terrible pickle; waited
two days for tliem ; was scared IM never see them ; got
'email right; booked small order from my friend Long,
and Mr. Laughten. Noo so bad for a beginning.

Hfro'inl ildjfs pvocecdhKjs. — Took morning express to
Wiilder; things blue here; drove to Arkona; had a bvely
little tearii ; they ran away, and ditched driver an<l my-
self; no damage of any account; got good order here.

Thhd, <Uf/fspr(>reedlii(/H. — Arrived in Parkhill; received
my fii'st baptism of fire; got hail Columbia from baggage-
man for carrying such murdering trunks. He scared me

117

so that I made up my mind to quit, but I didn't. Booked
a small order frae a Scotch Christian ; he prayed with me
in my sample room, and ^-ave me a small tract on temper-
ance, and then asked me tcj engage in ])rayer. Did I do
so ? not for Joe.

Fourth d<njs proceed) n</s. — Got to Lucan ; got a good
reception from Mr. Barny Stanlej'' ; also small order, one
from Armitao'e &l McCosh. At niy-ht we all tliree had
some of Lucan's best Irish dew. Heavy thunder and
lightning, blew and rained like Sam Hill. The Donnelly
boys were in Lucan that night kicking up a rumpus.

Fifth day's proceed inrfs. — Came into London by stage,
one of the Donnelly boys driving ; wheel broke off; had
a great time, camping by the fence till mended.

Sixth day's proceedings. — Got to Forest ; fell in with
another Salvation man who asked me if I would not like
to represent Jesus on the road, told me he didn't connnit
a sin in two days. What an infernal lie.

Seventh day's proceedings. — Arrived in Point Edwards ;
got good order from Fraser, had a row with a bull-headed
Irishman ; I licked him, though he sent me home with a
black-eye. "Good boy, John, you're the stuff," says
Fraser.

Eighth day's proceedAngs. — Drove to Courtright ; got
good order from (Jathcart ; went iishing in the afteniooii;
fell into the rivc^r; swam ashore like a little diake ; got
dry suit out of my samples.

Ninth dag's proceedings. — Took l)oat to Port Lambtuii;
got good order from McDonald, and a good lectnro from
a Afethodist pi'eacher he had clerUing ; took it all iu ; can
stand anv amount of such stuff for o()od orders.

Tenth dag's proceedhigs. — Wallaccburg for Sunday,
went to church twice. Text in the morning : Hni chap.
Revelations, loth verse ; text in the evening: o.'ird cha]).
Isaiah, 9th verse.

Elevenih dug's pioccedings. — Sold James Scott; went
trolling in the swamp ; caught some fine pike and bass —

118

\\W

" !

iil||

good afternoon's sport. Jim is a fine specimen of a Scots-
man.

Twelfth day's proceedings. — Took boat to Dresden i
did nothing ; don't like the place ; made up my mind
never to go back again — it won't miss me, any how.

Thirteenth day's proceedinfjs. — Took boat to Sarnia ;
glorious sail up the St. Clair ; met a host of the boys ;
took in Barnum's circus at Port Huron — politics running
high.

Fourteenth day's proceeding f^. — Telegram from house,
" Come home for fall samples," Good act, I thought.

I now stopped taking daily notes till the following
January, when I started out from London with one of
Hiscox's best grey teams with bobbs, sleighing g.»od ;
arrived at St. John's, got good order from Stiles, drove
to Lucan the same day, again I met my friends Mr. Barny
Stanley, McCosh & Armitage ; got small lines ; had a
good round of Lucan's best Irish. Next morning started
for Limerick ; darkness overtook me ere I got there ;
roads rough ; struck against a stump and over goes sleigh,
boxes and myself into the snow ; stood and gazed on the
scene before me, and how I was to put on three sluggers.
Says to myself, *' If this be the life of a commercial tra-
veller, I don't want much of it ;" arrived in Lucknow at
one in the morning.

Fifteenth day's proceedings. — Started for Crediton; got
a good square meal from big Lizza at the Commercial, after-
wards went out and slaughtered Eilber and John Parsons
to the tune of a few hundred a-piece — good. At five
o'clock same evening, bade Lizza farewell and dug out for
Dash wood; got upset, but got uprighted soon and arrived
in the village safe. In the hotel there was a travelling
troop from Seaforth, consisting of four boys. No. 1, clog
dancer ; No. 2, tin whistler ; No. 3, vocalist ; No. 4,
menagerie manager. The menagerie consisted of a cat-
rabbit, a cat minus the tail ; five cents to see the won-
derful animal. " Don't give us away," remarked one of

119

the ingenious youths. Next morning I made a raid on
Zurich ; sold my old friend Wagnor ; found Dhiekert hard
at work murdering pigs. " Fresh sausages for tea to-night,
my boy. Come take something." " Good boy, Nick." My
next port was Bayfield ; found T. J. Marks, as usual, down
amongst the fishermen ; went down for him and collared
him off to Morgan's ; had a few light dragoons, then pro-
ceeded to business.

Next morning started for Goderich ; the day is a holy
terror — five hours going twelve miles ; found quite a few
of the boys snowed up there ; they wondered where on
earth I came from through such a storm ; my faithful
greys brought me through all right.

Next day made a bee line for Lucknow ; took the lake
shore road, with old Jack the stage driver. I says to
Jack, " I am going to Lucknow, do you think I'll get
through ?" " Are ye Scotch ?" says Jack. " Yes." " Weel,
a Scotchman can ficht the devil. You follow me." I did
follow Jack for a few miles, but his mules were too slow
for me, so I got ahead, and was thankful to get to Dun-
gannon for the night, and spent a good night with Ben
Crawford. Arrived in Lucknow next day by forced
marches, and had to stay there for some days, no getting
out. Next a little Dutchman there who told the follow-
ing story : A man vid four wives was brought before a
Dutch Justice for commitment on a charge of bigamy.
" Four vives !" exclaimed the astonished Hans. " Four
vives ! that vas a most henos crime ; discharch him at
vonst !" " Why ?" protested the prosecutor ; " why dis-
charge him, the proof is positive ? Will the court exi)lain ?"
" Yes ; I ecksplains. Off he lit mit four vives he got
bunishment enough. I mvself lif mit vone, and I have
too much bunishment already." Was driving over to
Wingham a few days afterwards, and going down a steep
hill three miles from the town, I broke down. Happening
to be near a house, I went over and asked the old man to
loan me a hammer. "0, certainly, my man, and de ye want

120

oncy nails ?" " Yos, A'^e may want a few." The nail box
procured, ve marched for tlie sleigh, and soon got fixed.
I offered the good old Scot fifty cents for his trouble. He
looked at me and said, " Are ye no Scotch ?" '* O, yes !
Highland at that." " Shake ban's, ma man ; de ye see
that farm of 250 acres ?" " Yes." " Well, that is mine,
and is worth ten thousand dollars ; and de ye see that
hammer ?" " Yes." " Well, I suppose ye being a Scotch-
man, ken the song ca'd Robin Tamson's Smiddie?" "Yes."
" Well, tak that hammer in your bans, mun, noe ye can
say what nae connnercial man can say, ye had Robbie
Tamson's hammer in yer hand." "Will ye sell it?" "Na, na,
a farm cad no buy it, mon." So with hearty greetings we
parted, and met many times afterwards.

I was driving one hot summer afternoon from Walker-
ton, on my way to Paisley, when I noticed two men a
long way ahead of me driving a waggon ; they were rag-
men and peddlers. They were trying to get a gang of
little pigs into an oldburying-ground. At last, they got
them cornered, and quite cool, shouldered one apiece, and
threw them into a box in the waggon. I asked them if
the pigs belonged to them. They said " no," and asked
me not to give them away. They belonged to an old
devil of a miser down a few miles, and they thought he
wouldn't miss them. He refused them a drink of milk.
So it cost the old fellow two sturks of pigs for about two
cents' worth of milk. So much ibr the pigs. They never
squealled after they wei'e in the box.

Epitaph on an old woman that unceremoniously ordered
me out of her son's store, with the following prelude : —
" You are now the third pe<ldler liere to-day bothering
my son. Donald, 30U order these chaps out, and take no
notice of them any more ; }'0u must pay for the goods
you bought last year before you buy any more." " Sen-
sible remark," was my reply. " O, yes, its all very fine
for you fellows to talk. ]3oriald, don't you listen to
them, nor buy any goods, for you know we don't recjuire

121

them," ami slie scooted out the back door, and ban<;'ed it
as she went, and left nie witli Donald. " W^dl, Donald, I
suppose my chances are slim for an order tl)is time. Did
you hear what the old woman said ? " " Yes. Wi;ll,
you'd better come round wlien she's in good humor. Slio
had fourteen hens and a ii^obbler stolen last ni,i(ht, and
she's like to break her old lieart." " Poor devil," and \
took an everlasting farewell of ]3onald and his old
mother.

" Ye auld and withered looking hag,
What de ye ken that ye mun brag,
Ye speak as if ye owned the toon,
But frae yer looks, methinks ye dinna (»wn a spoon.

" Out of yer st<jre ye ordered me to gang,
Did I say yer store, quoth it isna so ;
The auld dame that day wore the bricks,
While Donald stood dumb and darna' kick."

In the winter of '78 1 was, with a few more of the boys,
snowed up at Listowel. The Royal Hotel at that time
was the home for the boys. 1 was on the first day the
last to register, and, as is customary in hotels, first come,
first served. No partiality must be shown in this respect,
and the only i-oom left for me was a small one up in the
third heaven, that I was mighty glad to get. At half-past
twelve I was shown to my little room in the o-arret, and
on entering I was struck by its novel appearance ; it was
formerly occupied by a medical student, who was away
for a short season. In every corner of the room there
were bones of all descriptions ; even under the bed I was
to sleep in there were bones enough to fid a wheelbarrow.
On gazing round the walls, O, horror 1 the blood curdled
in my veins (and I'm not easily frighten (3 d) ; to the right
and to the left of me were hideous-looking skulls, stuck
up for pictures. On the walls, and right ahove my head
in the bed, was a furious-looking fellow gazing down at
me. How to aleep that night in such a room 1 began to

i.'«

122

ask myself. However, there was no other alternative but
to humbly submit to my fate. After my devotional ex-
ercises I endeavored to sleep, and kept the lamp burning.
I would close mine eyes for a few moments, to open them
and gaze on a hideous skull above my head, or to the
right or left of me on the walls. I must sleep, and
resolved to try any how, and up I got and put out the

Devotions before retiring.

light, so that I might see no more of the awful-looking
things. Then I fancied the skulls spoke, and the bones
rattled round the room, and yet no sleep f r me amongst
the dry bones. I got up, mad enough to throw the skulls,
bones, and everything out of the window. I slipped on
my bricks and away down stairs at lightning speed, as if
the four skulls and the bones were after me. Billy was
about closing the bar. " Hullo, John, what's wrong ? "

123

" By the gods you know what's wrong, Billy. What the
devil did you put me into such an infernal room as that ?"
" What ails it, John ? " " Nothing ails it ; it's the stuff
that's in it ails it. I might as well be sleeping in a grave-
yard." " Why, John, that's a fine room ; it belongs to

Dr. ." " Well, Billy, the doctor is welcome to his

room for me. Give me a horn of hot brandy and see if
that don't make me snooze. Such a room as that
would be enough to scare any Christian." " If you're a
Christian, John, you need not be scared." " Well, Billy,
when I saw my fix, I prayed in right down earnest, but
to no effect ; the skulls haunted me, and the dry bones
looked to me as if they walked around the room." "They
walked once, John, and they'll never walk any more."
" O, tell a fool that." However, I took my brandy, and
with slow steps marched to the valley of dry bones, and
slept till eleven o'clock next day ; came down stairs at
noon ; met the old man in the hall. " Good morning,
John, how did you sleep ? " " Shut up, old man ; the
next time you play a trick like this on me you'll know
it." " What's the matter, John ? " " Matter— the devil ;
go up and see the room you gave me last night." " What
ails it ? " " Go and see it for yourself" By this time
the boys got hold of the joke, and I was wishing the
student's skulls, bones, and skeletons to Jericho, for I
was the victim of a dry bone joke. The old man treated
all hands, and here the matter stopped.

ooking
bones
mongst
skulls,
)ped on
d, as if
Iv was
rong i

" The bones lay thick aboot the room,
Four hideous skulls above me head,
And lef?s and arms below me bed ;
'Tvvould be enough to scare one mad :
Could I sleep that night, no bedad ;
There hung four skulls above mt head,
And there was the valley of dry bones below my bed. "

On another occasion I put up at a hotel in a small
town on the W., G. & B. After a long and tedious drive

124

tluat day, I u^ot lo lied as (|uiokly as 1 could. 1 wasji't
loiio- in my (|uit;t sluinluns wlicn I was awakened l»y tt^r-
r'il)l(^ sci(%M mi )]<•'. J starUMJ and iniagiinod I was in a
dream, \n\t no, the sci'eaining contiiniod. T asked myself
conhl it l>e tii-e. 1 u^ot np, «lr(^ssed as (|ui(*kly as I coidd,
i-an down stairs into the bar. H(^i'e I found half a dozen
oi"th(; l>oys sittini;' ronnil the sto\e, smoking and spinning
yarns witli tlu^ landlord. " What's the matter, .lohn C
says Mr. Landlord. " I thought the place was on lire."
"What made you tliink so?" " 1 heanl such horrible
scr(!ami!ig next room to me." "Did that scare you,
Jolni ? " " You bet it did." " Why, man, that was my
wif(^ presenting me witli a line bouncing hoy." " JJy golly !
J felt the cheapest man in the house, sO 1 (-ailed tlie boys
and we all <Uank to the future jn-ospei'ity of the newly-
born bouncing boy. He didn't give me away that time,
but did a few months afterwards.

Man was Made to Mourn.

Travtvlhas, like all other workers at times, have to put
up Avith the most unpleasant job of looking for work,
Wlu^n a (h)p]'ession comes there are too many travellers
on hand, and some of them must l)e disposed of, and in
ten cases out of twelve they are set acbift in the worst
sea.son of the year — wlien the season is over, and it is
luck if a man gets a sorting-up trip.
^ It is really amusing to notice the quirks and turns of
employers when they want to get rid of a man. They liate
to discharge one that has travelled for a few years and done
a good business for them during the prosperous times.
They first make all kinds of complaints — business ter-
ribly dull ; we're losing money ; we nmst curtail ex-
penses, etc. Well, this is all right, but it is not very
pleasant for the travellers to be u der the necessity of
listening to this sort of growling. Better for them to
say, " Look here, John, Jim, or Sandy, business is dull

I2r,

wasn't
y ti^-
* in iv
luysclf
could,

I dozen
»innin<;'
)ohn r

II liiv.
loniblo
•c yon,
vi\s my

)' i^'(>*lY '•

\c boys

newly-

Eit time.

to put
)V work,
■avellers
I; and in
10 worst
Ind it is

turns oi'
Ihcy bate
tnd done
lis times,
mess ter-
Irtail ex-
lot very
essity of
them to
is dull

nnd we arc sovrv W(^ will liavr- to dispense \vitl» vom*
services, as Mr. 1.1. is to take a trip." "Very gootl, .sir,"
and this settles it. J>ut it juits poor Jack in a devil ol* a
fix, and this is the tlianks Jack <;-ets for ids liard two
years' toiling, on a ground prol)al»Iy where tlie fii'iii liadn't
ten customers. Sucli is lite ! 'J'lus kind ol" ingratitude?
is handed down to us by princes, dukes, lords, and kin^s.
1 liave taken particular notice that old travellers, who
become, or are fortunate enough to become bosses by some
streak ol' heavenly luck, are by far the worst men tt)
work for. They are perfect devils — wolves in sheep's
clothing. Gilbeit Burns, luother of the great poet, says
that Robert used to remark to him that he could not con-
ceive a moi-e mortifying jacture of human life thnn a
man seeking work. In casting about in his mind how^
this sentiment might be brought foi'ward.the elegy, "Man
was made to Mourn," of which 1 give three vei-ses, was
composed : —

•' A few seem favorites of fate,

Tn ])leasure's lap caret^sed,
Yet think not all the rich and tjjreat

Are likewise truly ble.ssed.
Bu'"> oh ! what crowds in every lan(i

Are wretched and forlorn ;
'J'hrongh weary life this lesson leaini,

That man was made to mourn.

" Many and sharp the numerous ills,

[jiwoven with our frame ;
More p )inted still wo make ourselves

I egret, remorse, and shame ;
And man whose heaven-erected face

The smiles of love adorn ;
Man's inhumanity to man

Makes countless thousands mourn.

((

If I'm designed yon lordling's slave
By nature's lav/ designed,

Why was an independent wish
E'er planted in my mind I

12G

If not, why am I subjoct to

His cruelty or auorn ?
Or why has man the will or power

To make liis fellow mourn ?"

— Burns.

My fellow travellers, will not, I hope, think nie harsh,
or that I mean to run down in anywise the fraternity.
In that case I would be myself included.

I cannot close this little work without making a few
remarks regarding one particular sort of traveller. That
is, " The Spy." If there is anything more contemptible,
more sinful and base for a traveller to do, it is to act the
spy, and yet there are spies in the ranks of the travel-
lers. If not, there are men hired to act as such. I trust
the latter is the correct one. Let me give my reasons for
so thinking. I was once on a trip for twelve weeks steady,
and after getting back to the house, there was hardly an
event of any consequence that the firm did not know —
for instance, I went to a dance ; I had a little jolliiication
once in a while, and more especially if business was good —
everything was told them. Now, this cannot be spirit-
ualist's work, for I am sure the spirits don't much care
about running hundreds of miles to whisper into the ears
of our employers what we are doing daily on the road,
and how we are behaving ourselves.

I have often gone to church, led the praise, addressed
Sunday School scholars, and have even prayed. Did our
good masters hear of this ? O, no. The spirits weren't
round then, they were having a pic-nic of their own on the
Lord's day. They don't assume to think that commercial
men go to church ; they only think that we are to be
found round the bars of our hotels, and think if they
were to go to church they might miss something of
importance ; and you can depend upon it that the decep-
tive, pusill limous spy is always round when the cry is,
" Come, boys, and have something." Let me just boil
this down in a few words. I hope there are no travellers

127

Burns.

e harsli,

Lg a few
r. That
emptible,
o act the
le travel-
I trust
jasons for
is steady,
hardly an
,t know—
)llitication

as good-
be spirit-
[nuch care
,0 the ears
the road,

addressed
Did our
Its weren't
jwn on the
pinmercial
are to be
dc if they
[lething of
I the decep-
the cry is,
e just boil
travellers

guilty of such work ; I am of opinion myself there are
not, but we ought to try to catcli tlie infamous dude.
Napoleon, on the eve of encountering the Duke of Wel-
lington in a great battle, found in the camp a little Scots-
man, a spy from Wellington's army. Tiie great Napoleon,
caught him by the seat of his breeches, and holding him
out at arm's length, said to his officers and soldiers, "Look,
men, here is a specimen of the men you are afraid of."
A few days after the little spy escaped and got back to
his regiment again, dressed in French regimental. The
British soldiers ever afterwards called him Napoleon.
When we get hold of a spy, we will, no doubt, dress him
up in fine style, eh !

EPITAPH O'ER THE GRAVE OF THE SPY.

*' Here lies the Spy, he's cold in death,
I'm sure there's few lament ii. ;
He's good enoii(»h company fao the da'il,
For sure 'twas him that sent him."

I have often wondered if travellers driving throuofh the
Wellington, Grey and Bruce country have had the same
luck as I had year after year ; that for weeks at a time
you'd get nothing but ham and eggs for breakfast, ham
and eggs for dinner, bacon and eggs for supper, and at
times a sprinkling of salt pork. I once arrived at a
small place, and my driver and myself were famishing
with hunger. " Landlord, can you get dinner for two ?"
" O, yes." " What have you ?" " Fine fresh ham and
eggs." This time I was a dollar out ; this was a bet I had
with my driver that we would not be offered ham and
eggs at this place, as it was a large brick hotel. The land-
lord knew that we were hungry, and besides giving us
fried eggs, he sent two dozen boiled eggs besides for us,
to try our appetite. Having to stay at this place over
night we were determined to have a change of food
before going to bed. So, after dark, the driver and myself
walked two miles out into the country and made a x'aid

I''

128

on Ji lioncry — wo liud lr<'sh yoiiui;' lnuilt'd cliickens ere we
went to IkmI that ni<^ht. I may liere mention that \ (h)
n<>t mean tliis for an insnlt to the hotel-l<ee|»er.s — not hy
any means, for in Ihe sunnner months tlie hnteh(!rs can't
<^et ronnd so often witli meat, owiiii;' to the diflienlty in
keepino- it from tainting'. On tlie line of railway, weeo Id
get all the roast heef and plum duff we wanted. As I am
on ham and e<;gs and hacon, 1 will relate a little ihcidt^nt
tl>at transpired in Burns' time, in a ])lae(5 called Ihownhill,
a posting- station fifteen miles from Dumfries. Dining
tiiero on one occasion, the poet met a Mr. Ladyman, a
connnercial traveller, who solicited a sample of his "rhym-
ing ware." At dinner, beans and bacon were served, and
tlie landlord, whose name was Bacon, had, as was his
wont, thrust himself somewhat offensively into the com-
pany of his guests.

EPIGRAM ON BACON.

*' At Biownhill we always got dainty good cheer,
And plenty of bacon each day in the year ;
We've all things that's neat, and mostly in season,
But why always Bacon ? — come, give me a reason."

— Burns.

On another occasion the [)oet met a young English
traveller of the name of Burton ; he became very impor-
tunate that the poet should compose an epitaph for him.
"In vain," says Cunningham, " the bard objected that he
was not sufficiently acquainted with his character and
habits to qualify him for the task ; the request was con-
stantly repeated with a ' Dem me eyes. Burns, do write
an e[)itaph for me. dem my blood, do, Burns, write an
epitaph for me.' Overcome by his importunity, Burns at
last took out his pencil and produced the following :

*' Here cursing, swearing Burton lies,
A buck, a beau, or dem my eyes,
Who in his life did little good ;
And his last words were — ' Dem my blood.' "

120

ns evo wc
Llwifc I <lo
I— -nol ^'.y
•lu'i'scant

Hlciilty in
r, we CO. Ill
As 1 am
ic inci<l»'n^'
Brownbill,
s. Dining'
jadymau, a
liis""ihyni-
sci'vcd, and
as was bis
,0 the cuni-

JISOU,
3JISOU."
lU'KNS.

iLing Knglisb
very inipov-
,iph for him.
3cted that lie
laiacter and
est was con-
ns, do write
nis, write an
ity, Burns at

Howino- ;

Ahout a mile and a half from Hanover tlier(» are a few
small lakes where black bass, pickerel, pike and perch
abound in jjjreat (piantities. An old Scotsman, wbo goes by
the name of Barefoot Jack, lives tliere who has ahout a
dozen boats and fishing apparatus ready for hire. As
it is a favorite fishing resort during the fishing season,
a few of us having a few hours to sparc^ hired a rig,
and along with the landlord we soon arrived at Jack's
shanty. " Any 1 )ats, Jack ?" " Yes, lots of 'em."
" Fishing rods r ' Yes, and worms too." " Is this
a good day for bass, Jack ?" " This ought to be a
good day, boys ; I got some four pounder.* thi.s morning,
just look at 'em, here they are," uncovering a large pot,
where he had tliem ir: ic;e. We got boats and lines
ready, and started with Jack as pilot, and after a half
hour's rowing, we landed at the favorite spot where the
l)igs ones lay. " Now, boys," says Jack, " worms is no
good for big bass ; they are too proud, they won't look at
such meat." ''What are we to get, then, we have nothing
else ?" " Bide a wee an a'll get ye bait." Jack took a small
hook and line, and caught about a dozen perch about three
to five inches long. " Now, boys, you just tak' un o' they
perch, and stick the hook through the small o' the back,
and let him swim around at the bottom ; give him lots of
line." No sooner said than done, and from that out the
sport went on hot and heavy. Every one of us, in our
turn, hooked some beauties. Time went on, and we were
V)eginning to feel like eating something, as we took no
})rovisions with us, thinking we would not stay long.
The fun was too good to quit, so Jack volunteered to go
to the village for bread and • cheese and some ale and
porter. We gave him two dollars, and away paddled
Jack in his favorite boat called " Sal." One hour passed
and no Jack ; two hours and still no Jack ; two and a
half hours and no Jack. By this time we were getting
played out, and by a vote of the majority of the party
we weighed anchor and steered for port. Still there was

I 1;

I I'

iriO

no sight of old Jack. We went over to his shanty, and
here we found Jack lying dead drunk in bed ; the cheese
was laid on the cooking stove, and the loaves of bread
were soaking in a tub of water. We could see no beer,
but found on his pillow two quart bottles of whiskey
and the contents of one pretty low down. We refresheil
oui selves as best we could, and started for Hanover with
as tine a lot of bass as ever came out of Jack's lakes.
After tea, wo thought we'd go down again and see Jack ;
he was still in his slumbers, so we left him in his glory
with his faithful dog by his side. Being a tine night, we
went over to the lake, and had a swim. I would not
make mention of the swimming part, but for the extra-
ordinary sensation we felt in the water. We would float
like a cork in it, and in trying to dive, for experiment,
we found it was utterly impossible to go down more than
a couple feet, when you would rise to the surface like a
shot. We had a doctor with us, and he could not account
r*)r it. Can an}^ one solve the mysterious waters of Bare-
foot Jack's lakes? At 1) o'clock we took a silent farewell
of our poor pilot.

We left poor Jack in his lonely hut,

In a deep and silly snooze,
If he drank a glass, lie drank a pint,

Thht set him on a booze.

One more little tish story, and I've done. The crowd
ot this tishiiig expedition started one fine summer morn-
ing from Chesley ; the morning was delightful, and we
dashed otf at a 2.3U gait, eager for the sport. The crowd
was made up of the following gentlemen : John C. Appel,
of London ; Kit Maxwell, of Chesley ; Mr. Bell, Chesley,
and the writer. Mr. Appel was chosen captain of the
gang. After twelve miles driving over rough roads we
arrived at our fishing station. Led by Captain Appel we
made a raid on a farmer's milk house, and after a milk
spree we proceeded to business. The stream was a very

131

ity, and
5 cheese
,t' bread
no beer,
whiskey
•efreshed
ver with
:'s lakes.
36 Jack;
his glory
[light, we
ould not
he extra-
juld float
periinent,
more than
;ace like a
3t account
<s of Bare-
t farewell

The crowd
mer morn-
il, and we
The crowd
n 0. Appel,
11, Ohesley,
ain of the
h roads we
Appel we
fter a milk
was a very

narrow one in some places, and very hard to get at on
account of the bush. " Now, boys," says Appel, " if we
want to catch trout we must all take diifeiont routes," he
gave us the following stand-otf s : " John, you guard that
hole above the bridge and stay there for three-quarters
of an hour. Maxwell, you will take by storm the hole
below the bridge, leaving the little stream to your left, as
the trout there are very shy, and I think I'm the only one
of this gang able to approach it with success. Mr. Bell,
you take the stream at the cross-roads, and by half past two
we will all meet at the bridge for dinner." We all started
for our allotted places, and whoever was to I ave the most
tish was to get a gold pencil. We got back to the bridge
for dinner, as requested Dy our captain, and then the fish
counting began. The captain got fourteen tr'^ut, one bass
and three crawfish ; Maxwell got twenty -three trout, one
catfish, three chubs ; Mr. Bell got four trout, seven suck-
ers, one crawfish. My own catch was one trout, nineteen
suckers, four bass, ten chubs. There were so many suckers,
chubs and crawfish, that the captain decided that no fish
but trout would count, and after dinner every man for
himself — go where you like. We all went up the stream
through thick brush and logs. I did not go far when the
captain hollered out, " Where are you, Maxwell ? " " I'm
up here, what's the matter ? " "I am fast here, come
and help me out." Here was our captain fast between two
logs, holding on to his line, as he thought he had a big
trout. He was safely got out, then the trout was hauled
ashore, and it was a beautiful catfish of a most peculiar
color. By this time we lost Mr. Bell, he strayed away
from us, but when we found him he had a fine lot of the
beauties. " Where did you get them ? " enquired the
captain. " Get 'em, is that what ye ask me ? I staid at
one hole and lost three hooks. I began to swear at my
luck, and was about to leave the place when I hooks a
beauty, and all the fine 'uns came out of the same place."
" Say, Mr. Bell," says the captain, " I wish you would come

132

and swear for me for awhile to see if I will have better
luck." " I'd rather be excused. You had better do your
own swearing, captain." We got home late that night
and went to roost at a late hour.

GO TO BED JN TIMP: AT NIGHT.

Courage, brother, do not stumble.
Though your path be dark as night ;
Whether drivmg, whether sailing.
Go to bed in time at night.

O'er many a rough-cast road we've gone,
Through many a blinding storm,
Then to be ready for next day's work.
Is go to bed in good lime, .you know.

'Tis not for rough-cast roads we care,
Nor yet the blinding storms.
If men would only treat us right,
We'd look on these with scorn,

Tho' the road be long and dreary
And it's end far out of sight,
Foot it bravely, do not weary.
But go to bed in time at night.

To keep the golden rule before us,
Is up and work with all our might.
And do not think .>f skulls or dry bones,
But go to bed in time at night.

We trust no parties with our secrets
What we do, and when we tight,
And always glad when business over,
To get to bed in time at night.

We write home often to our frows,
Tell our wives that all is right,
To-day we've ta'en some great big oi'ders,
So we're going to bed in time to-night.

Courage, brothers, do not stumble,
Tlfcough your course be strewn with fright,
There is a star to guide us safely
To our cozy beds at night.

— Gair.

18:}

War Declaukd.

I will now conclude this little work by giving a short
sketch of a supposed war between the western travellers
and the boys of the north. You suppose the western
travellers are under the English Government, and the
northern the Scottish Government. I am selecting as
king of England, Pentecost ; and as king of the Scots,
Mr. Robert Piddie, of London — two sensible kings, we
must all admit.

Wak Uec'lahki).

The governments being formed, and a dispute arising
over some territory, it must be decided by war ; and his
Majesty King Robert declared war on the 24)th of March,
1884. He immediately summoned his generals, officers,
lieutenants, etc., together, to hold a council of war. It
was moved by Lord John Drumgole, the king heartily
approving. "Get the army in motion without delay." In
four days after the declaration, King Robert's army was
in full march on Exeter, this being the first and most
important stronghold to be wrestled from the enemy.

Zi£ -' iX^^ zs ' j e .=S r ^ i:z

184

King Robei't in person was in command of the Canadian
volunteers, with Lord John Drumgole as generalissimo of
the army,supported by Lieut.-Col. Samuel Munro,and Major
A. Eraser, and a fine staff of officers and sergeants, etc.,
etc. The combined army was made u\) as follows : 4,500
infantiy, 1,500 cavalry, 300 Irish piquets, two squadrons
dragoons, and a strong battery of artillery and cavalry.
By forced marches the Scottish army swrived in full view
of the English army, holding a strong position on the
south side of the town. A halt being made to ascertain
the strength of King Pentecost's army. Lord John Drum-
gole sent a spy ahead of the main army, and it was soon
made known to King Robert the full strength of Pente-
cost's forces. It was so much superior to his own forces,
that he deemed it prudent to retreat to Clandeboye, and
to secure himself from surprise during the night. Lord
Drumgole advanced his piquets along the line of railway
as far north as Centralia, for fear of the enemy tearing
up the line, as he expected reinforcements from the north.
The following day he was joined by five hundred Seaforth
Highlanders, two guns and one hundred and fifty cavalry.
With this addition to his now well-disciplined army he
called a council of war, when it was decided to the entire
satisfaction of the king, his general and officers, to march
on Exeter, and give battle to King Pentecost's forces next
day — for by this time word was brought into Lord Drum-
gole, that Admiral Harry Kite was on his way to Grand
Bend with fourteen sloops of war and reinforcements for
King Pentecost.

At an early hour in the morning Lord John Drumgole
put his army in motion, and arriving within rifie shot of
the enemy, he brought his army in battle array. He drew
up his foot in one line, in the centre of wiiica was Sea-
forth Highlanders, commanded by Lieut.-Col. Leviolete ;
on the right were five companies of Lord John's own regi-
ment. The regiment of Col. Sam Munro, with a number
of raw recruits, and four squadrons of Major A. Eraser's

1 :Jo

Canadian

ssimo ()

lid Major
mis, etc.,
's: 4,500
[jiuidrons
cavalry,
full view
a on the
ascertain
m Drum-
was soon
)f Pente-
n forces,
ooye, and
it. Lord
[' railway
Y tearing
he north.
Seaforth
7 cavalry,
army he
ihe entire
to march
irces next
ird Drum-
to Grand
[uents for

])rumgole
le shot of
He drew
was Sea-
jGviolete ;
own regi-
a number
Eraser's

dragoons, formed tlio left wing, and a similar number of
Col. Dan Mackenzie's and the remaining squadrons were
placed in the rear as a strong reserve. On the right of
the army (near the railway station) were placed the
artillery with four six-pounders, and three brass cannon,
commanded by Col. James Bonthorn. The cavalry were
placed in support of the left wing, right opposite the
cavalry of the enemy, commanded Ijy Captain C. S.
Lennie.

Lord Galbraith, generalissimo of Kins: Pentecost's
army, had his forces in the following orders of battle : —
Tlie foot was formed in two lines, with a strong reserve
in the rear ; the first line consisted of the regiments of
Col. A. Auld and Major H. Heriing, the second
line consisted of the regiments of Col. John Hooper
and Sergt.-Major Harry Dallas, and behind the right of
the second line Col. Hector Morrison's regiment was
stationed as the reserve.

The London brigades and the militia were posted near
some houses behind tjie left of the dragoons, placing
them in a formidable position ; directly opposite King
Robert's centre, but by keeping large intervals between
their squadrons. Lord Gall)raith's right extended as far
down as the centre of the regiments of the Erasers and
Munros. Tlie j'iglit wing of King Pentecost's army was
commanded by Lieut.-Col. George Walker, the centre by
Lord Galbraith, and the left by Brigadier T. Christie.
The cavalry, stationed on the south side of the railway,
commanded by Capt. W. Whiting, lield a formidable
position for a flank movement on King Robert's let't.
The artillery was placed so as to cover a retreat, if necos-
.sary, commanded by Sir Robert Balmer. Both armies
stood motionless for some time.

Lord John Druniijole received orders to advance.
Meantime Bord Galbraith's artillery opened fire, and made
great ravages in the ranks of Col. S. Munro's regiment.
Very soon the battle became general, and raged furiously

! ii

1.%

on both iiides for hours, while Col. A. Aukl and Major H.
Herring's regiments pressed King Robert's dragoons hard.
Lord John perceiving the danger of his fine dragoons,
ordered up the Seaforth Highlanders, and after a long
and persistent conflict, Lord Galbraith's foices gave way.
Lord John Drumgole, taking advantage of this, ordered
lip his reserve, and made a general charge all along Lord
Galbraith's lines. Hanking him right and left. Galbraith,
by a quick mana^uvre, had his reserve on to the flanking
regiments, and repulsed them after a desperate struggle
of seven hours' hard fighting. Darkness set in, and both
armies ceased hostilities. During the night, unperceived
by King Robert, King Pentecost sent word to Lord Gal-
braith to quietly retreat on Hensal ; Col. A. Auld and
Major Harry Dallas with their regiments were ordered to
cover the retreat, which was done in excellent order.

At Hensal, Lord Galbraith was joined by the Toronto
Travellet's' regiment. Lord John, who did not deem it
advisable to follow up the retreat, rested his shattered
army and buried his dead and had the wounded cared for.
Galbraith, though victorious, left his dead on the field of
battle. On King Robert's side, 175 rank and file, eight
ofticers and two sergeants fell, and 240 wounded. Amongst
the officers wounded were J. C. Apple, W. C. Green, and
Case. On the side of King Pentecost the carnage was not
so heavy ; 100 rank and file, four officers, and two lieuten-
anos killed, and 215 wounded. Amongst the officers
wounded were, R. Bannerman, S. Wilson, and William
Blackley, while some of King Robert's baggage and two
guns fell into the hands of the English. Thus ended the
battle of Exeter, somewhat fatally to King Robert's army.

Lord Drumgole, thinking that Lord Galbraith might be
making for Grand Bend to make a junction w^th Admiral
Harry Kite, sent on to Zurich the Eraser and the Munro
regiments, with two pieces of cannon, to intercept him,
while the main army took a different route in close pur-
suit. Loril Galbraith, to evade this action of Lord John's,

187

ijor H.
IS hard,
agoons,
' a long
re way.
ordered
Lg Lord
Ibraith,
lanking
struggle
,nd both
jrceived
»rd Gal-
ald and
dered to
Jer.

Toronto
deem it
hattered
ired for.
field of
e, eight
Amongst
sen, and
was not
lieuten-
officers
William
and two
ided the
s army,
night be
Admiral
Munro
pt him,
ose pur-
l John's,

took a short cut and arrived at the Grand Bend without
any molestation. He there met to his great delight
Admiral H. Kite, lying at anchor waiting his arrival.
The admiral heard with great delight the partial defeat
of King Robert's army. " Defeated, but not routed," ex-
claimed the admiral. '' These are brave men you have
to contend with, General." Lord Galbraith being now
strongly reinforced by one thousand five hundred infantry,
and one hundred and fifty cavalry, was eager to give
battle to Lord John the first opportunity. Two days
afterwards King Robert's army was seen approaching the
Bend by the Lake Shore road, (jralbraith lost no time in
getting his army in line of battle. He sent his dragoons
with their guns to protect the bridge over the Sauble
river, above the village, while Admiral Harry Kite threw
shells into Lord John's army with terrible efi'ect ; such
was the precision of the fleet's tire that King Robert's
army wavered and retreated again. Lord Galbraith fol-
lowed up the retreat, but did not come up to Lord Drun-
golo's army till he entrenched at Hensal. Here King
Robert was joined by the Ripley Highlanders, commanded
by Lieut.- Col. Humberstone. At Hensal both armies
faced each other for two rlays without firing a shot. On
the evening of the third night, King Robert, by the
advice of his general, fell back on Blyth, and was there
reinforced by 300 of the Lucknow Highlanders, ably
commanded by Col. Dan Campbell. By this time King
Pentecost had reinforcements from Montreal, Kingston,
and Toronto, while Col. George Hamilton came to King
Robert's assistance with 150 stalwart Kincardine High-
landers, and a brigade of commercial travellers. At this
juncture the combined numbers of both armies was
20,000, and was a magnificent sight to behold. With
Lieut. Talbot and Col. Elliott's brigade from Wingham.
King Robert's army was the most powerful. While oper-
ations were thus going on by lan«i. Admiral Harry Kite
bombarded Kincardine, Inverhuron, Port Elgin, and

If r

138

Southampton. Sergt-Major Boyd ami Lieut. Mitchell
with their small force made a gallant defence of Port
Elgin. With six ten-pounders and four six-pounders
they opened fire on Admiral Kite's fleet from the fort
at close range, with good effect, and in two hours two of
his best ships were sunk in Lake Huron before the fort
was silenced, such was the precision of Mitchell and
Boyd's aim.

On the 14tli the two armies faced each other on the
flats between Wingham and Blyth, and from the hilliness
of the ground the cavalry on neither side was of little use.
This time Lord Galbraith led the attack with the Toronto
and Montreal foot, while the artillery from an eminence
played into the ranks of Lord Drumgole, our regiment
making teri-ible havoc, and for a time his right was in
danger of being annihilated, but for the timely arrival of
Humberstone's Highlanders who fired a volley, then
throwing down their rifles, rushed in gallant style with
sv/ord in liand, when they retreated before the broad
Claymore of the kilties. At this juncture the battle
raged along the whole lines. Lieut.-Col. S. Munro and the
Eraser's regiments were hard pressed V)y overwhelming
numbers of Galbraith's own regiment, being compelled to
retreat, which they did in good order. At a glance, Lord
John perceived the imminent danger of his fine men,
ordered up Col, George Hamilton with his brigade of
travellers leading ; the regiment charged in fine style
and regained their lost ground. Now Galbraith was
manoeuvring for a flaixk movement, which, if not detected
by the eagle eye of Lord John, would have proved
disastrous to King Robert's army. Sending his dragoons
and the Lucknow Highlanders to check the advance of
the flanking regiments commanded by Hooper and Auld,
putting them to the right about, with great slaughter.
For a long time the battle of Wingham flats raged with-
out decisive results on either side. It now became dark,
and both armies ceased operations, but under cover of

189

litchell
3f Poll
Hinders
lie fort
, two of
Me fort
ell and

• on the
hilliness
Lttle use.
Toronto
niinence
L-egiment
■j was m
irrival of
ey, tlien
,yle with
le broad
le battle
and the
.helming
pelled to
|nco, Lord
ne men,
•igade ot
ne style
jth was
detected
proved
dragoons
vance of
nd Auld,
;laughter.
;ed with-
!me dark,
cover of

night, Lord Galbraitli fell back on Htiisal, then down to'
Zurich, where he expected to make a junction, with a
second reinforcement from Admiral Kite. At Zurich
Galbraith's army wtis overtaken by Lord Drumgole ; here
he was at once given battle. The general decided to give
the honor of leading the attack to Col. Talbot and Major
Elliott's regiment, for their bravery at the battle of
Wingham flats, and leading the charge in gallant style,
they broke through the first line of the enemy. Galbraith,
seeing his second line in great danger, sent his cavalr}- at
the Wingham regiment, who could not stand the terrible
and unexpected charge and fell back in the rear. Gal-
braith's horse essayed to follow, but were sent back by a
timely and well-directed volL^y from the Ripley High-
landers, directed by Col. Humberstone. By this time
Admiral Harry Kite's reinforcements came up, and it
began to look blue for Lord John's army. Seeing his
position at a glance, the able general immediately directed
Hamilton's brigade of travellers and the Seaforth High-
landers to go forward and meet them, while he himself
forced the fighting all along the enemy's lines. The
carnage was terrible, but Lord Galbraith was holding his
ground, and with his superior artillery threw the ranks
of Drumgole's best regiments, more especially the Hum-
berstone Highlanders. Hamilton and his travellers and
the Seaforth men were by this time in a perilous position,
cut oft' from the main army. After delivering a crushing
defeat to the admiral's reinforcements, he with his hand-
ful of brave travellers cut through Galbraith's lines
and joined his comrades ; Lord John's army was hard
pressed and wavering, and almost giving up the contest,
when Col. George Hamilton again supported by the
Lucknow Highlanders, commanded by Col. Dan Camp-
bell made a terrible charge on Lord Galbraith's right
wing, turning and routing it completely, thus saving
Lord Drumgole's army from defeat. Both armies ceased
lighting, and both claimed victory. Lord John fell back

J r

■T

140

on the village of Zurich, and tho night being stormy,
King Robert ordered his men to be quartered for the
night in the houses tlirough the place. The king him-
self. Lord John, officers and staff* put up for the night
at Dhiekert's Hotel ; the day of the battle of the Bend.
Nick made about two ton of bolonies, and they were
invited to a feast of the good stuff, which was most
acceptable after ten hours' fatigue and hard fighting.
When seated the royal and gallant party partook heartily.
King Robert thus addressed Lord John : " General, this
is a good deal better than what we had last night at
Hensal." " Yes, your highness, those are very fine bolo-
nies." " What is your opinion of them. Col. Hamilton ?"
"They are really a very fine line, your highness." Dhiekert
entered the room. " Who vas it von de day ? " " So far,
we did," replied the general. " O, vel, you eets lots ov
dem bolonies, and you will all vight bedder do-morrow,
and of you vin you gome bag var moro do-moriow."

After thanking Mr. Dhiekert for his hospitality, a
council of war was held to consider the next day's pro-
ceedings. It was decided to march against King Pente-
cost's army, and annihilate it if possible. At four next
morning the bugle was sounded to arms and at half past
five Lord John had his armv in full march to the field of
battle for the final struggle. On coming up with Lord
Galbraith's army a flag of truce was seen floating in the
air. King Pentecost sent a messenger to King Robert to
ascertain the conditions of surrender. A council being
held, it was agreed that both armies should disband and
give up further hostilities, on consideration that the
boundary be settled for Ontario.

So now travellers can go where they like, sell where
they can. without any molestation. Thus the great war
ended. After exchanging prisoners. Lord Galbraith and
his army embarked on Admiral Hariy Kite's fleet at the
Grand Bend, and sailed for Toronto and Montreal. King
Robert and his army, on their return to London, received

.stormy,
for the
ig him-
e pight
le Bend.
ey were
IS most
fighting,
leartily.
ral, this
light at
ne bolo-
lilton ? "
)hiekert
" So far,
lots ov
morrow,
w."

tality, a
^y's pro-
g Pente-
)ur next
lalf past
} field of
th Lord
or in the
Robert to
jil being
and and
bhat the

141

a great ovation— houses, stores, hotels, etc., were illumi-
nated, bands played and bonfires were ablaze in all corniM s
of the beautiful Forest City. Such was the reception
accorded the brave on their return.

King Robert's Heet was, during the war, protecting
Goderich and the Bayfield roads.

Thus endeth the commercial war without mueJi shed-
ding of blood.

11 where
reat war
aith and
et at the
l1. King
, received