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Un des symboles suivants apparaltra sur ia dernidre image de cheque microfiche, selon le cas: le symbols — ► signifle "A SUIVRE ", le symbols V signifle "FIN". re Maps, plates, charts, etc., may be filmed at different reduction ratios. Those too large to be entirely Included In one exposure are filmed beginning in the upper left hand corner, left to right and top to bottom, as many frames as required. The following diagrams illustrate the method: Les cartes, planches, tableaux, etc., peuvent dtre fllmte d des taux de rid'iction diffirents. Lorsque le document est icop grand pour dtre reproduit en un seul clich6, ii est film6 d partir de Tangle supArieur gauche, de gauche d droite, et de haut en has, nn prenant le nombre d'images ndcessaire. Les diagrammes suivants illustrent la mdthode. V errata )d to nt ie pelure, 9on d r::-:f , '■\'-i 3 / 32X 1 2 3 4 5 6 «; «^r5^ ■^513^ -^fei^&^^CB"' LETTERS or TERRY FTNNEGAN, TO THE HON. THOMAS IVARCV ModEE. ,:^- "IF VOU HAVJC TEAR8. PRKPARK TO ,S H !• P THEM K O W VOLITMK 1. rOMPl.F.TK IN' ITSKI.F. PRICK TVVENTY-FlVli: OKNTS, TORONTO: v^r-^^^^J*^^}:*^ 1864. ■«*^€^^5;5^^$^ ♦ m-. -^ H L E r T E R S r»F w \* TERRY FINNEGAN, AUTHOR OF SEVERAL IMAGINARY WORKS. IP YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SURD TIIEM NOW.' J ^ VOLUMTC 1. COMPLKTE IN ITSELF. TORONTO; 1863. »( DEDICATION. This trifling Volume is inscribed to every Irishman under the sun no matter what his croed or county, by THE AUTHOR. !J ADVERTISEMENT. Tlio following letters were, from time to time, and without permission, addressed, througli the columns of a liumoroua publication, to the Honorable Thomas D'Arcy Mcv.ee — a Statesman of broad and generous views, an Orator of trans- cendent abilities, and a Companion at once instructive, agreeable nnd relined. At the solicitation of a few literary friends the}' are now thrown into book shape, with a view, amongst other things, of extending a knowledge of some of the peculiarities of the Irish Character among those who may not have had an opportunity of studying it, in all its purity, on the other side of the Atlantic ; and in the hope of beguil- ing a spare half hour on the i)art of such as are not the irrevocable victims of transcendentalism or sound, coinnion sbnso. Ill LKTTKKS or TERRY FINN EG AN No. 1. Stanlv Stiiuket, lUh M:ircli, 1801. To the lion. Mr. McGcc^ doioii at Quahec, Mbnbti' of Pademint, or elsewhere, cOc'. Oh ! then b;vl coss to you, but you're tlio nico boy for t!»r;itln mo in this way. The hist tiiiio wo took a cup of Irish t;iy horo, diihrt you tell me you'd write nforo you'd go down, and lot mo know what coorse you intinded to purshuo durin the sisshun ? Whin you tould mo it was your detarmination to give Brown, on tho first occashuii, " a left handher" for his thratomint of the Clargy, you recollect wo took "another" on the head of it; but, begorra, if this will bo like you're promise of writin, I'm afeerd we'll not squeeze much out of you. Ton my conshins, I can't help ihinkin but that little Frinch Attorney Gineral has been tho cause of all your throuble. If both himself and his collague had common sinso, they'd have jumped at you, like a cock at a bhckberry, tho day they had a chance up in tho ould hospital here. But you see the Frinchman thought you bein Irish wouldn't do for Monthreal ; and besides, you know ho tould you that you weren't long enough in tho counthry. Wasn't ho cute, and didn't you remimber it to him since ? God knows if you had the "ace and five fingers^' in your hand you couldn't bate r.nd remain where you are at prisent. Like tho thriangular jewel in Midshipman Aisy, you have to fight your rale innimy and a fellow that belongs to your oAvn squad. First you fire acrass the House at tho Attorney Gineral West, and thin you tako a crack at Brown at your elbow ; for you know you must give him -'i TEUKY IMNNKdANiS Ll<;iTEUa. 1 Mjltlioiiue, noiiKvttlicM* liow soft, tlio nioineiit hu touchs the soutane. littK )f tlie bird of in vou. igger avouineon : — have a Uttlo nioro ot me uiraoi passage aiul step acrass the Spaker on tlio first dacont opportunity. You can't work tlio ]\)po and John Knox wid the same sthring. Be in- depindcnt, as they say — sich as Jiiu Smith was, long ago, whin he slipped his cabli' ; and sich as John Cameron, Ogle R. and others are to-day. That's the way to make money. Always keep one leg loose on the lliire Animus vestlicr ego. — "mind your eye," as poor Mulloy (if the "Sthrawberry Beds" used to say — the Lord rest him. You're not like Joe Gookl or Tom Short. There's somediin in you and we want to get it, out. Take care of thatFrinchman. I'll write regularly. Let nie hear from you at wanst. Your lovin cousin, Terry Fivnegan. P.S. — What d'ye think ould Mullany sez to me jest now ? "Terry," se>: he, " I'll hould ye a tasther that it will be sometime afore Darcy takes tay wid the Thruc Witness." Isn't he an ould rake 'i T. F. No. 2. Stanly Stiiueet, 21th March, 1801. Faith I'm afeertl that you've " put your fut in it." A boy from the "Nation" sayiu a kindly word of Orangemin and Piosbeterans! AVhat would poor Dulfy think if he was listenin to you on Tuesday last ? God knows I don't know what to make of you. You seem to be h' ^ (greater hobble then .ver. For the purpose of havin a dig at the ;Vii».ir :./, 7, you're obleeged to take the part of "swaddlers" and the swori! '.iiiimies of your creed ; and then you wind up by sayin '•n,tj , <. n I ■' that can be taken a hoult of. Where ' the use of j'out ■ ^in about the Duke ? Why, allanah, " Newcastle" wouldn't take a word of advice from any man in the Colony ; as every indi- vidual in it is bis infayrior constitutionally and, as ho no doubt believes, mintally also. Let him be right or wrong the work he did was his own. Recollect mavourneen, th?" if, by thought word or act, you get entangled in the mashes of Or&ngeism, "you're a gone !\ TERRY FINNKOAN y LETTERS. 9 goose. Clarke of tho Thrue Witness will be down on you like *' a silt dhrop," and the Church will begin to smell a rat. Keep to what }0U tould that iutherloper regardin the honest way yon came by your creed, and don't slip your cable for even a single moment. Tom Fergusson made a great impression on the house, i see by the division on his amindment; and Ogle R, is detarmined to do something as "indepindint mimber," John Sandfield, though, is tho boy that has insarted the wedge in the right spot. He's goin to split tlie Province into vartual disunion, and re-int.hroduce the "double majority" system. I understand that in addition, he is detarmined to have the Glengarry min represiuted specially at the Council Tabic. Well, meracles will never sase. Tell John Cameron that he won't get in for Victoria next time, bekase he didn't desart his colors on prenciple. Besides he only got in last time on the sly. He was sint out to canvass in all honor and honesty for anether, but instead of pl.vyin fair, he supplanted his frind. That's not Irish. John's a Prosbeteran. 1 wish you were " well through it," as the fat equesthrian said to the hoop ; for I know this sesshun will be hard on you. Your party is not compact. There are as minny corners on it as there are on a sack of sthraddles; and begorra, betune mo and you, I don't know what you want, barrin a pull at "the tin." I have'nt much to say as yet. Write. Your lovin cousin, TeKUY FlNNEGAN. P.S. — We're goin to have a bone fire of the Queen, the Duke and the Coort Journal. John llillyard came home last night by candle light, and swore to Aldherm.ni Car, that he'd have satisfaction out of thim in effigy at laste ; and that Windsor Castle wasn't worth lookin at. What d'ye think of that? T. F. No. 3. Stanly Sthreet, Good Friday, 29th March, 18G1. Well, thanks be to God, nomatther how we're gettin on out here, the Church, accordin to late English papers, is doin glorioi sly at 10 TEllKY FINNEGAN S I.ETTEliS. homo. By al! accounts, the poor benighted Saxon is comin to his sinsos agin, and beginnin to show the back-same of his stofkin to a creed that wjia inthrodiiced ia rather a loose manner by that ould> ia;>-schaliion, Ji'id. Dcf.^ wiion lie took a fancy to his wife's sarvant aii(i ii'ayed raythoch bckase the Holy See wouldn't endorse his caiiors. More Power to Cardinal Wiseman, and the jintlemin who wrote the "Oxford Essays." "The right of private jidgiiiinL" is doin wc'l ; and now that the Ilovision Club of the United States^ and even the (Queen's chaplain is at work questiouiu or touchin up the " Protestant edition" we may ^11 hope that there is a good time comin for us, who have, from first to last, kept the ould book jest as it was given to us, without the altheration of a single letther liat what am I talkin about whin it was my intinshuu to ask you in tho first place, who is the ladher of the Opposition! Begorra, it appears to mo that you're al gjnnerals down there, and that you iiave'nt a single soger to sliouldher a musket. John SandPeld I porsavo his set up for himself. Foley, altho a dacent boy enough, wont work with the Frinch on the represintation question, Cincin- natus McDougall seems to bo in everybody's road, while Mowat ap- pears to be in a sort of political Chancery, from which it isn't likely he'll bo relased for some time. As I tould you afore, you're all at sixes and sivens. You mighi as well thry to make boxty out of sand without wather, as to make a Ministhry out of such ^incementin stuft' as yez all are collectively ; altho, individually you are clever enough, and in most cases well enough behaved. Besides, I think Avhatever little characther yez have got, yez ought to thry and keep it — a thing none of yez could do any more than the others, if you wanst got within rache of the " pewther." Ogle K. ought to be taken up undher Dick Martin's act, for tho cruelty he displayed in bringin forred u motion to do away wid the qualifications of minibers. Blur an agers, sure there's scarcely a man in the houso worth tuppence; and sure its no throable to ax the loan of a qualification frem a naiH bor. Pon my conshins thio was carryin coal", to Newcastle in airnist, and bangs Bannagher, and you know that Bannagher bangs the 'i ould boy himself." You'll not be long throubled with the little Frinchmau. He is about worn out ; and wont ofier for Monthreal or Vercheres. They TERRY FINNEGAN S LETrEKS. 11 say he's goia some other phice, buf that doesn't look well. You'll make nothin out of this sisshun. Tiie nbseiice of Bi'own laves you in the position of tlie mice when the cat is out. If you want to lay your hands on the purse sthilngs, you must re-adjust your party dhrop reprosintation by population and brake out in a fresh place. At })resent the counthry can have no confidence in ye/, because yez would not carry the very measure which is the bindiu plank of your platform. Look about you for new relations or else you'll be wasliii your eloquence upon John A. for the next tin years to no purpose Be my sowl, some how or other, I think you'd look well on tho Ministayrial side of the House. Tliry it, when you can desart ilacently. Write. 1 didn't like your last, and I dojit boleevo that any such fact in natural history has been developed. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnegan. I'.S. — Lord bo praised, I have jest larned that Jinny Lind is pre- pared to turn papist the moment Pius the Ninth grants a dispensa- tion for sayin her prayers on a sthring of thrushes eggs. Wondherful intirely ! T. F. No. 4. Stanly Sthreet, 18th April, 1861. Well, avick, I see you are at work agin, and a nate job I'lr afeerd you're goin to make of it. Be the mortial, this is the quarest sisshun that ever I came acrass. One day, the Spaker wont let Mr« Eichannan resign bekase he hasn't his sait attached lohim, and the next, yez want Joe Morrison to cut stick for the very same raison. Oh ! but yez are the nice set. There is one comfort howsomdiver, and that is, that we'll have a little pace while the bankruptcy act is passin through the House. At laste, it is ginnerelly believed, up here, that yez are all ready in your hearts to adopt any missure that would tind to to loosen your spanshels. As for myself, all I can say is, " God speed it ;" for this much I can sware, there never was such a need of whitewash in this section of the counthry, however yez may be doin below. t- 12 TERRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. Could you do any thin wid the " Ninty First Clause ?" There's more rale, private agony, and bitther injustice connected wid the exactions of the coort in which it operates then you can well imagine. Governor Allan of the Jail here, only that he is a closed mouthed and honorable kind of a man, could tell a story on this head that would make your heart bleed. Honest grey-headed poverty has often crept into a debtor's cell, rather then face a jidge and an admirin audi- ence, where the sacrets of the harthstone were to be revaled, and every feelin lacerated at the instance of some heartless dun. Blur alive, Darcy, this is too bad ; and although 50U may not be on the same side, give McMickin a lift, if his motion, regardin iraprisonmint for debt, bears sthrongly upon this disgrace to the Statute Books. Well, I'm sure, its plazed I am, that the Yankees have instituted a new mode of warfare, and I hope it'll be adopted in the County Tipperary ; for sartin it is, if Fort Sumpther was in that same place, there would be an odd head bruck at any rate. Did you ever hear of the like? — peltin away at aich other from mornin till night, and the divil a hair turned on one of them. Ah ! God be with the time when the Cumminses and the Mahars used to meet on a fair day in Koscrea, and when we'd have twenty or thirty on aich side maimed for life, before they could get the peelers out. None of your primin and loadin or rifled cannon, but a good blackthorn, cut in the frost, at Goolden Grove, that would lave you bare to the akuU for six inches, at the first skelp, and bo handed down from father to son as the "bottieen that did for Mick Fagan." Hups! yer sowl you, that's the tetch ! And its lelighted I am to think how the Ameri- can raiiiisthcrs to the various European Coorts will snake into the levees amongst the sneers of rale vetherans, whin the intilligence of the takin of Fort Sumpther raches France and England, and whin its thoroughly undhevh tood by Mr. Armsthrong and Louis Napoleon that, on this side of the Atlantic, gunpowdher possesses a moral force only. It's a thrue sayin, that " there's nobody so fit for the army as a soger ;" and the divil's good cure to the Americans what- ever ill fortune they meet wid, as I shall henceforth regard all their disgraces and rvvarses as simple rethribution for the Louisville murthersand the Roxbury commission uudher the moral guidance of that paragon of vartue — Mr. Hiss. \i TEERY FINNKOAn's LETTERS. 13 I have clone now; and would havo wriltcn to you aforo, only 1 did'nt know whoro to find you. I am glad to sco John Cameron has como to his sinscs. I supposo he'll ^et tho Lindsay locks all light in consequince. Don't be botherin yourself about J oo Morrison's sait. Ho has a betther one than half of you whin you come to look into it. Give my best regards to Foley, anJ, cugger, tell him to mount a pair of glasses with a different focus. What a pity there is such a sthrake of the Killkenny Cats in us, Irish. Throw Docther Connor and Tom Daly accrass a line, and see how they'll act. Oh 1 mi Ilia murther. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnkoan. No. 5. Stanlt Sthrekt, May 9, 1861. Well, " merraclcs will bo merracles." So Clark, of the " Thrue Witness,'' is goin out to India with •' the Duke." Begorra, he's in luck ; for he'll be able to slip his cable there agin, and turn Hindoo or some other blaggard. Throth I wouldn't wondhcr if that same joker cama back with as many haythen thricks in him as would set up half a dozen fakirs, or whatever the divil you call them. I'll hould you a tasther, that he wont be carryin a white umberella for more than three months, afore he discovers some sthrange bewties in Budhism, and takes to ^^his marrow-bcnes on a new tack. I undherstand that the Clargy are chucklin over his anticipated depar- ture. And its not surprisin ; for you see he bate them all out on " Tho Fathers," and " authority," and zale and the "early History of the Ohurch," and so forth, until they became jealous of him, and were half inclined to regard him as a Scotch intherloper, wid more cheek than he came by honestly. Give me a chap that slides in at the back doore, for irapiddence. Bein in doubt of himself, ho has always to put on a face of brass, and give twinty ounces for a pound of batther, for fear he'd be suspicted. That's the way of it; but now that the unfortunate craytbhure is goin, there's no use in aayin a bad word of him, so I'll turn to some ether subject. 14 TERRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. ij. When yez began the sisshun, I thought yez would make some kind of a fight of it et laate ; but, by tho mortial, such a failure niver was known since the days of Adam. Sorra a thing yez put your fingers to but yez botched. On every division yez were swamped to the eyes and obleeged to rethrate with a flay in your ear. Arrah, man, yez wanted Brown, sorely. He is the only boy among yez that can bring an Armsthrong gun to bear upon " tho budget," or make any kind of stand against John A, — Doron on grants, Macdougal on Washington, Notman on Joe Morrison, and your own four bones on represintation by population, is enough to satisfy the whole Province that yez are a quare squad, and no more fit to manage our affairs than a ministhry of Gould's, Fergusson's or Purdy's would bo. The " two day's" yez had of it, when yez were up here, have made yez rabid. Ah ! murther, Darcy, isn't it a terrible thing to get a smell of a " rasher," on an imply stomach, and see it whipt off" the tongs, afore your eyes, without your gettin as much as a taste of it ? By my sowkins it is ; and bad cess to the man that ever lived in Ireland but will say that same is thrue. I hear, that in consequince of bein knocked so much about by the Governmint, yez all fled to the ould rimedy, and that Mick Foley bruck the pledge. Faith, its glad Pm of it, 'if this latther's the case, for it will lade to a night of it whin he comes up. I hope howsom- diver, that yez didn't let Macdougal or Mowat in among yez ; for the former is a thraitor to his queen, and the latther, to his bene* facther. Oh ! then, amn't I glad that this ungrateful little King- stonian is not Irish ; and that John A. cant say to one of us, " I extended to you a frindly hand and led you out of obscurity. I gave you a professhun and the status of a jintleman, and placed you at the bar in a position that you could attain through me only ; and now, like the frozen viper in the fable, you turn upon me and endeavor to bury your poisoned fangs in my vitals." Well avick, bad and all as we are, we are seldom guilty of the sin of ingratitude, and giner- ally ready to stick to a friend like broth to sofier, without bein very particular as to enquirin into the rights of it. Afther all, do you know, I think this is the safest and most rashunal plan ; for takin poor humanity as it is, the divil a many of us might be able to pas^ muster if ordhred on parade in a hurry ; consequintly, there's I TEREY FINNEOAN 8 LETTERS. 15 nothin to be gained by bein over sharp-sighted, and woarin glassoss that magnify mole hills into mountains. You'll be returned at the next election, I'm sartin ; and if you are, step acrass the house to your natural allies. Sure if it was nothin else, there's more dhrinkin min on the other side — bouchals that are able for yourself and Foley, and thats no joke. Besides, dont you see, your relations are altogether outrajous. You niver can work a Clear Grit Prosbeteran into any Catholic question wid the same aise that you can an Orangeman. You may stare; but it's thrue. Look about you and see if it's not. The former has no impulses. His opposition is clear, cool, deadly and continuous. The latther is often ginerous, whimsical, and unguarded. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Agin, the present Opposishun doesn't stand well before the counthry, bekase of its internal discords, and the heavy divisions that tell so constantly aginst it on every vote ; while it is possessed of so many prominent men of the same calibre and pretin- shuns, that any thin like a compromise is out of the question. All want to be ladhers, and there's where a good deal of the fat is in the fire. Give them up then, and come out as you ought to do, sthiikin for broad prenciples, and threadin the black life blood out of political cant and pharasaical brawlin. Then, mavourneen, you'll be a man of the first wather ; and nobody will be more glad to see it then Your lovin cousin, Terry Finneqan. No. 6. Stanly Stiireet, 12th June, 18G1. God be wid the time whin they used to play " Macbeth," at Donny-brook, for tuppence — whin poor Dan Doolan, the Lord rest his sowl, on seein a fresh audience gatherin about him. used to shout out, " time's up ; commit the murther," so as to be able to turn an honest pinny on the unruly lads that were waitin at the tint dooro. Och ! but them were the days whin we hadn't to bo lookin into the middle of May for Spring ; but whin the meadows were up to our ankles in April, and spattered with butthercups, till they were as IG TERRY FINNEOAn's LETl'ERB. n H yalla as tho counthor of tlio ould Bank of Ireland usoil war.st to bo on a discount day. Ah ! mavourncen, I have boon hero in this cowld counthry for minny a long, long year ; and this much 1 can say, that I niver yet saw in it what I could call a rale summer's evenin wiirits up — fifpordin to tlio recognizotl institutions of our ftnooHllirrn — do fo ujass ropuliirly, ami h« sure to cotili'SH fo n I'lifst Mint tlntsn't un^llieiHlftml ri wonl of eiifjlisli ; find Itf dml you'll In) liktiy tit jvhh tuu»tli(tr, Vour loviu cousin, TKnnV KiNNKCJAK. P.S. — T\u)TO WH1 bad spellin in your last. No. 8. Stamly SiHRF.RT, 28th Juno, IRfil. " More power to your olbow I" Did'nt T tell you in my last that you'd f^t't in atrain ; and allhouj^h I dont adnnio your [mlitics, the divil a hit ct'niu bnf's glad tliat you walked tho coorso like a Iiayro of th«M^ulil soliool. liogorra, tho " Wild Irislunin" havo dono tlio thing da<'<)ntly at.^bothino jjfiitlerniii who uro rcturnetl tor Ii«»\vt'r K(ni;iu|»|»t»H4<, however, that tho »'»hlu! has |u;ol uukI with Mo\ laii <>(' fh«» " h'tfoniaii," ami is ('niiKti<|uiMilv ijoIm to hrako Ktjiiaiva will tlio Irish Papists, l-'aith its hard to "ay ati)>[) Hrowii out ol' thu IIounc, ii' ho hiMt 'loroiilo forty tiiiieK over, you ha«l lictth»'r Im^ pn-parin yourseh'Tor an odd, siv difj;, if you dont too the niark liko a rcji^ular sojjor, 'I'ho " findhor" so/ that your lads oaUHod a row in Nfouihroal at tlio nouiiiuition ; hut Korra word of it I h'liove. I am fully KitisHt-d that you camo w proudly and honostiy hy tho t'oather that'n in yonr <'ap, as iho host of thorn, and I am oontidont that you will wear it to tho orodit ofUio oiass you roi>rc.sint,as woll as to your own. Thorois ono thin^, howovor, that I must reijncst you to do, and that is, tt> sit ar far from (Joold as yon can ; and hivo tho llouso whin Mowat rises to Hpako, hi-^fo ho should intiiroduco tho wonl, " i;jratilude,"int«) any of his observntiot.s. This I ask of you as a special favour, and ono which I shnli not forgot readily. rrince Alfred has just loft us, and considherin that ho is a very Saxon-liko go-soon, bo tho powers, I think that lie's a fino folia. Throth, it, would do your heart good to boo tho ladies runnin in to get a peep at his bed room and touch tho pillow upon which his royal head was to repose. If you beliovo me, ono irrovcrant faymale actually planted herself on tho side of his bed so as to bo able to say in aflher ye.^rs, that she performed a fate, that wouldn't be considhered as over creditable in Ireland. Such crowdin, and dashin about. Such wavin of pocket handkichifs and nosegays, and shoutin I never saw. lie my sowkins, it was jist as bad as whin tho Prince of Wales was htro. Some Frinch vagabone who was fondhor of scandal than dacency, observed, that from the appearance of his lio3al Highness ho was sure he was smitten with "la fievro" ; but^ Shaw! nobody paid any attintion to the scoundhral. Yez will be bet in Upper Kanada ; and if yez are not, it'll bo al the same. Couchon — wh'cli is an ugly name — will bo a thorn in your side if you aro found in tho ranks of the Opposition. Uavin been elected by acclamation, like him, however, you can now choose 22 TRRRY FTNNE(iAN B LI;TTERS. your coorso wid greater trfedt)ni. You liave Mor.threal, as long as you like to keep it, and no (|insti'tiis axed. Rouse yourscdf, mavounicun, and stc(>iiito odu'e with the agility of a mountebank. There's no use in talkin about prenciple or consist- ency. The divil a tuppeni^e wortli of the nonirnodity is on aither .side of the House ; consequintly, if to be found among you at all, it must be sought for in the fine, pliitnp and )nanly bussum of the Spaker, wlio aocordin to the cla'^sification of tiie "Globe," i.s a mini- ber of the illigitimafe Opposition — a new party that has j)opped into existence like a niusharoon. Stpiare your yards my bouchal, and shake out every inch of canvas at your command so as that you may be able to catch the slightest b.eezo that sots in atords the minis- tayrial binches. Life is short and you're not over tall yourself; therefore be lively, take the ball at the hop, and give it a rale sockdolog.T that will dhrivo it in at tlie very foundation stone of the aJly. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finneoan. P.vS. — There was a fine examination at the Normal School the other day. Every scholar had his word off by heart. No. 0. Staxlv Sthueet, Toronto, oth Dec, 1862. Tare-an-iiouns ! but it's j.;lad I am to see you where you are in spite of little Misthcr Oarthor or Clark of the Thrue Witness • and although they did'nt thrate you well regardin the emigration af!air, afther all, you're at the head of the table keepin ordher • and a handsum job you have of it, now and thin, I'll be bound to say. We were all afraid up here, that you'd follow Doran ; but, be gorr.t, I began lo think, that as the Irish were never proverbial for the vartue of resignation, you'd be the last man to plunge the counthry into ruin ; and, that like Joe Morrison and Mr. Spince, you'd hould on to office to the very last, irrespective of the palthry sum accruin from that same. Darcy dear, I 8i'i)pose tliere's quare goins on whin yez all get •v«*.> TEBKY FINNEGAN b LKTIER!?. 23 I together ; and that )ez sometimes iiso very indifferent hinguage. I recollect when Couchon was in the ould cibinet, that the lobbiors ontsido used to think they were guttin aich other. Ah ! bnt that was the rough fella ; although there was a dacent sthrake of honesty iu something that he did. I hear that yez have decided not to touch the represintation by population question, until yez reinforce yourselves below wid a Frinch emigration. Small blame to you if any ; but I'm thinkin that Misther Ilowland may have his views of any extinsion of the franchise considherably modified by an intherview with the Duke of Newcastle and others of that kidney. I believe that the man can take a dhrop in raisin ; so as that one sneezin dinner and a dhrive in a coach and four, may make him turn a summerset as clano as that onco performed by our prisent economical and able Superintin- dant of Edication. Man alive ! some straight-forward people have no idaya what a difference there is betune the views of a gintleman whin he becomes an adviser of the Crown, and those held by him whin he sat grinnin acrasa the House from the Opposition binches. Be my sowkins, ho is not the same man at all ; and the divil a boy from Sandwich to Gaspe knows that betther than your own four bones. The weather-wisG ginthry up here say that yez will all go out in March. Well, be dad. the name of the month is I admit suggestive ; but I'm not so sure that yez are going to let the purse sthrings slip through your fingers so aisily. Take a rise out of them, mavourneen, and explain afiherwards ; for if the other chaps get a hoult of thim again, you may bid good bye to turnin a dacent pinny for many a day to come. They were expectin you up here, some time ago, to give a lecture in aid of the House of Providence; but that's not to be dhramed of now ; as of coorse you're done wid religion for some time at laste. It's so long since I have written that I'm rather rusty ; but I'll soon get into the way of it agin. Ogle R. joins mo in love to yourself, and Foley who has, I lam, purchased a most exthraordi- nary pair of spectacles. Some of your frinds up here think that yourself has got somethin near-sighted lately. God forgive thim, but they will talk. 24 TERKY FINNEOAN B LETTEKS. You need not answer tliis, as I'll lie down wid you in a few days, whin we'll tliry the sthriiilh of sonieihin rrioio iuspiiln tliin tho Quabec Wather Wurks. T lii>|)e you luivo given up your tiinpeiance capers, and will be able to meet John A. on equal terras whin he comes home. Isn't it sUi range that I niver met in the coorse of my whole life a man worth tuppence that pulled a long face at adecanther. Good bye, and God speed you. Keep the middle of the road and pick your ste])s ; for let me tell you, that yez are all looked upon here as fair sittin shots that are sure to be picked oft' with aise, whin yez thry your hands on the llure of the House. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finagan. P.S. — Be the man of the moon, but I was near forgettin. Jest read this, that T composed the other day wlnn I sat sthradle legs on ould Biceps, as Neddy Mulloy used to fall Parnassus. Not that I say it myself, but T believe its one of the cleverest things that has been done in this courithry since tiieda_>.s of Sir John Smyth, L.L.D., Poet Laureate, and Civil Engineer. [ hate the Prosbyteraus : — Mr. Brown and his friends, who are gtuff as wild beasts, May be well in a terrible funk. That the Province, initcad of being snatched from the Priests, Has been placed iu the hands of a Monck. Ftilla me that in John's Lane ! There's for you, my hayro ! Arn't you glad that the bloo-onal)!e limits at laste ; and rely n(:on it, the attinshun which he so ardently devoted to politics and the immolation of his inimies will be divided in a manner infinitely more agreeable to him and benefi- cial to you. In sliort, for the ensuin session at all events, he is com- plak'ly done for, as y^-/, will all find out, wIumi he sets his foot ainongst yez. Well, God speed him, in his new proprietorship, nnd may he never have occasion to look blue in the premises — a wish cordially seconded by Mr. Baty of the Leadkcr. fs Ogle K. back or is he not ? Now take a frinds advicy and keep him wliere he was planted, or else yes will be called iho inimies of Protestanism, and this would be your death in Upper Kinada. The man's kantankerous designin chap, and what, betune his Methodist connexions and his iniluenco among the class he represints, he may do no small hape of mischif. Look out for this, as yes would for a rattle snake, if aware of the proximity of that intherestin crayture. 1 don't know what's the matther wid rae lately, but whin iver I lake a pin in my hand I find that its' up hill work wid me, and that I'm only writin out of the ink bottle. I suppose the raison is, that I don't know what 'to make of yez ; and, God knows, small blame to me for that same, as it's said that yez aro in a similar position your- selves and don't know wdiat to make of aichother. Nivertheless, I think that you, John Sanfield and Foley, can work merracles if ye/, steer clear of religion and railways; and ward off that bugbear re- prisentation by population. Pon my sowkins, I think we have too minny mimbers ab-eidy, and that the addition of even a single one would be but simply puttin another calf to the tit. Blur ;^live I there are as minny rain in the Ilouse at prisent as are sufficient to conduct (he afi'airs of the wdiole continent ; and to multiply their numbers would be but to multiply our difficulties. Have a laniu at ords the Frinch, avick, for they are of rale Celtic blood; and, you know, that manes somethin on a pinch. I write this on a fiy lafo out of the Pentateuch, and if I'm doin 28 TEKRY FINifEGAN 8 LEETEK6. wrong, may tho divil whip doctlier Colenzo, or whativer you may call liiiii. Tlio margin is wide you see, so as that tlie printin doesn't intherlare wid nie. Tiio Church of Enj^land, alaiiuah, ia tloin the work by piece-iUHlo, lH'f>iiinin as it did wid Maccabees, to iiul, no iiitleniin could not bo found who work so cordially together, and ulio arc so well up to thrap. They are dinin wid each other here every day, and skatin down on rhe rink, and inspectin warehouses, and makin out reports in a manner that will astonish the nati/es, or my name's not Terry Finnegan. Time will tell and frost will thry the cabbage, as thej say in Ould Ireland ; so I'll lave this part of the subject to take care of itself j ust now. Talkin of skatin rinks, begorra, you h.-we no idaya of thegoins on that's at them up here. Barrin a piece of afther grass in milkin time, in the land of song, bad luck to the plisanther place on the face of the whole globe. Takin up falliu !adie8, wid a look of the deep est consarn ; inspectin a strained wrist, that seemed as if it was chi^8eled from payrian marvel touched wid wake sunset; and in- quirin into the state of an ankle, that, was it pethrified, might shlip without a flaw into the shuperb insthep of the Vaynus de Medecis, if that exquisite cratshure lost a part so intherestin in whatever place is now sanctified by her wondherful bewty. Ah, Darcy dear, no man undherstands the consequinces of all this, betther than yerself, and surely you'll say wid me, tliat a wake or a patthern is not more than a mile or so ahead of it; and that a good dale of house-keepin will come of it. I'm done now; and in the prisent juncture of aftairs have only to advise you to bo at the tight rope every moment you can spare, and 'i*EBRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. keep a leg ready for any little contingency that may come up ilurin llu' seHshiin. The suirmerset I would'nt advise you bring into re- quisition unless the innemy got clane into the camp. Then you know you can lot on that you are glad to see thoin. That's the use of the summerset. But if you could give a nate step among them wid tiie right fut, and appear not to notice it yourself, be the Hill of Hothe it would be betther then the double shuffle tin thousand times. May God bless you, if possible. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finneoan. in to id No. 13. Stanly Stiirekt, 30th Jan., 1863. Tare an ouns! but George Brown is the althered man ! If ever a spicemin of humanity was med over agin on an improved plan, be the law Harry, he's the very boy that has gone through that same operation, or I'm no botanist. Smilin, if you plaze, and winkin his eyes, and jokin, and shakin his head and talkin as frind- ly as if he niver had a " set to" wid John A., or could throw an ill word acrass the House agin. Merracles will never sase ; and God bless and prolong the influence, whativer it may be, that has redeem- ed that unfortunate cratshure, and dhragged him, savage and all as he was, -within the pale of society. Notwithstandin all this, mind you, he's not tame enough for yez to put your fingers into his moutk ; and that yez will larn afore long. For some time past, don't yez persave, he has been playin on yez like a fiddle ; altho actin hke a chip in porridge, murrayh. He won't give yez a hoult on him by attimptin to prepossess the coun- thry aginst yez now ; but is so full of fair play, that he'll wait for your mizzures on the flure of the House and then give yez a taste of his quality wid a good grace. That's the sort of thratement yez are goin to resave from all the refractheries ; and dangerous it is; as there appears to be an air of shuprame justice about it. Well, I hear yez ar« all scatthered about now, among your sweet- hearts and wives, goin into a little private thranin afore yez peel ofl' 84 TKKUV I'lNNKOAN H LKTTEKH. at t^ii.'ilK'c rind tliry y»»ni* lum*! at tlin OpiKKUtioii. If hucIi is tlio ty.iup!, I may as woll i^nvo you n hint, not to l>o distlirossiii tliini w'ul an (>V(M' iili'octionatu faiowoll wliiu y«>z uro lavia tUoiii ; as in all liunuin piobattility yex will buu tliotn shortly agin, wid a olano slato undluft your oxtlior. (iod knows yez havo ft hard card to play. Yoz have an ntjiy (juostion to settle, and unsaitin iinplenionta to word wid. If ye/, havo ono cavillin, conscionahns man of principle among yv/., down goes your apple cart. Take a lafo out of Frank Ilinks' book, and stick to aich other, like broth to a soger, without iufjuirin into the rights of it till all is over. Ono jooso sinew in your hock will lave you settin on your hunkers like Paddy ^^ullano's dog. Mind what Terry's say in to you. Darcy, dear, some of our frinds up here are greatly disthrossed about naygurs — some of the nasal chaps and white chokers, wid ^acos the lintli of a fiddle on thora. Oh ! such a pack of hypocrites nivcr bruk the bread of life. They, in obaydianco to scripther, as they say, induce the colored man to lavo his Southern home, as their enslaved brother ; and beckon him to this land of promise, where ho is to be free, and form part and parcel of our soshal compact. They ought, every mother son of them, bo brought up undher Dick Martin's Act ; for, when the poor sable dupe casts aside his hoe and cotton trowseis, and stands in our midst, he finds that he has but exchanged them for rags and a white-wash brush, and that the edu- cation offered his little ones must but only &erv.e to make them comprehend to the fullest extent the depth of their degradation, lie has no more fair play among us than he had in the South. What is his liberty to him, whin no man opens his pew door to him — whin no man asks him to tay — whin no man will walk the streets wid him — whin no man will give him his dauther in marriage — whin no man will shake hands wid him, or permits him as an aqual under his roof ? Are we not liars and hypocrites of the first wather, to call this man brother, when we thrate him like a brute ? By the mortial, Pin sick of such christmnity and the min that profess it. Down wid slavery, I say ; but hang the falso pretences we use in relation to it. Michael is gone up, as I undershtand, to spind a week or so wid I TEKHY FINNEOAN B LETTKK8. 85 Torn Fergusfton, who lias, T lam, gono over to yez body mul bonos, in the iiopo of boiii iiiado Spakor, wM the privih'go ot two intorprot- ers — liiglish ami Friiich. I ilidn't oxpoct thU of Tom ; but, as I said nforo, inorracle.s will novor saso. How the " huiibs" vmU Uike it, I can't say ; although wo all know that whin one sheep goes through the gap the rest follow without tuo slightest difficulty. Is it thruo that you sthrained your ankle while attomptin to turn the Rep. by I'op. summerset in two ways? I hope you wore not so foolish as all that, whin you know thero is only one way of doin it cllectually. Ilowivor, if yon can set the House at it first on its own liook, and keep balancing on your right leg till you see the result. Thin, if all goes to all, turn it clano out of sight, and be done wid it* Your lovin cousin, Terrv Finneoan. the it. in wid !Vo. 11. Stanly Stiireet, 6th Fob., 1863. Pon my aowkins, you must give up this quarrelin. I hard«, and sorry I was for it, that the other night you gave Evanturel a touch undher the left eye wid your Irish blue-bag, that laid him betune the Governor-Ginneral's legs, as yez were playin a game of " all fours" some place in St. Charles's Suburbs. I knew you had it in your nose for him, l%t I sartinly thought you wouldn't do him up in Donnybrook style on such short notice for the sake of a couple of " yorkers." Well, it shows you have pluck any way ; and more than that, maybe you may be practisin agin the openin of the House ; for it is thought that somethin more than the tongue will have to be brought into requisition on that intherestin occashun, Mr. Howland's health is not good, and I find it is rumoured that, in consequinco, he will not meet the House as Finance Ministher. You know that Macdougall left yez in a hurry to look into the bizz- ness ; but I don't think yez need be unaisy on the subject. Nothin will fale him but his figgers ; and my idaya is, he ought to know the value of a pound and where to get it as well as any man. Do'nt be makin changes, for they are very wakenin at sartin payriods. Teke 36 TERRY FlNNEaAN^S LETTERfi. !:•■•■ t my often repated advice : Stick together like bird-lime, iiiver mind consistency, give an occasional summerset, if necessary ; that is, if you are shure of lighiin comfortably behind your own desk agin, and thin lave the rest to an All-wise Providence. Mind you this, Adam Wilson's refusal of the vacant judgeship is a great help to the whole of yez, and himself to boot; as it conveys the impreshun that ther's one honest man among yez at laste, and that his influence may tind, in a mizzure, to " leven the whole lump" — and you'll say wid me, that plinty of dough he'll have to work on. I think I could lay my finger on one or two of yez that would put him to the pin of his collar. Howsomdiver, yez did the dacent thing for wanst any way ; for a betther selecshun you could not have made than that of Docther Connor to fill the office. He's as thrue an Irishman as ever burnt a hay stack, hoched a cow, or shot a tithe procthur ; and if that does not fit a man for the Linch in this couu- thry, I 5 ^ 't know what the divil does. You ra^'y give your davy on it, that yez will soon have George Brow:? i? among yez agin; and if yez don't do somethin to soother bim up. aepind upon it, he'll turn yez into wran's eggs and play Cottba Xeooh wid yez. He is still young, powerful, and, now, I am piazed to say, tame. The slight smell he got of the " two days" but jist gave an edge to his appetite, as it did to that of some more of yez. The love of pc ^ver is only aqualled by the love of woman ; and as in his directshun, both appear to combine mosf^armoniouslj, I think I may count him as good as movin the third amindmint to your addhress at no distant payriod. How is yourself ; for, afther all, you are entitled to the best cup on the basket ^ I'd like to see you in your coort dhress, if your soord would not be too long and sindin you into the room head first, as some of tho late min were whin inthroduced to the Prince of Wales, whin he was houldin a levee up here> Sorra such a sight } ou ever saw. No less thin four of thim at wanst thried an inther- estin little polka in the t&iiC^dJe of the fiure afore they got their wapons disengaged from among t'^eir ankles. " Terry," says the Duke to me, " is that the miiiisthry ?** " Begorra, your raverenoe," says I, ♦' it's notiain short of it," ♦' Nabocklish," says he, wid the funniest TEEBY FINNEGAn's LETTEKS. 3Y wink you ever saw, and his tongue playin wid one of his back teeth — " Oh ! the divil a word," says I, " but it's the first time they wore em." Half an hour aftherwards I found the Earl of St. Germains, the Duke, and His Royal Highness, brakin their sides laffin in the lardher at my jokers. I believe I'll stop here ; for I'm beginnin to think that this pin I have doesn't spell well. Although you know yourself that I was upwards of t^»o years wid ould Jack Carroll and Neddy MuUoy. Howiver, before I »ay bannocth lath, I'll give you a hint —beware of principle and consistency ; for the divil a two worse brickbats a man ever carried in his hat. Have your legs as soople as an eel. Do a parfect bit of jommethry before the counthry wid them, if it's necess- ary ; and you'll see that you'll turn right side up ; and be sindin a substanshei token of your esteem afore long to Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnegan. 9 ]Vo. 15. Stanly Sthreet, 13th Feb., 1862. Well, I declare I near bruck my heart this mornin, at the remim- birance of poor Peether Flinn. Dont you recollect poor Peether, that began the Read-a-madaisy whin he was forty-nine, and that whin he got into the New Tistamint used to play rathoch wid the Third of Matthew ? Don't you reraimber ? Shure I tould yoa about it afore. Don't you know he bsgan : " In those days kem John the Papist poachin in the wildherness of Judy, sayin repate ye for the kinsrdom of hiven is at hand ; And the same John had a leathern griddle about his lines,'' and so forth. Now you have it. Well, haiks, sez T, whin I got through wid me goldher of a laff, and I might as well add, a farrel of as good a pittata cake as ever crassed your smush — swimrain in butther, if you plaze — well, sez I, over to Biddy, I'll lay you a tasther that there will be minny a new comer on the flure of the prisent House that won't make a much betther hand of Do Lome Todd's Parlemintary Practice, or his poHtical catekifcu), then poor Peether — God be good to him— mod of the Scripthers, or the Dublin Spellin Book. f 38 TERRY FINNEGAJM'S LETTERS. "Terry," sez she, lookin ornss ways at me, "you're profane, and it's no wondher ; for, to my sartiii knowledge, you haven't been at your duty since that unfortshunate nlfairof the DoolanV" •' It's gettin a fine day," scz I, lookin out of the doore, *' and I think, asthcre, that you niiglit us well go down to Fogerty's and look afther a pair of cordaroys for that darlin picther of yours, wid his black eyes and black hair— l^atsy." " May the Lord brake hard fortshun aforo you," sez she, " but you're the deluden man. llowsomdever," sez she, " I may as well take your advice ;" and wid that, she got up from the table, slipped on her bonnet and cloak and loft me fillen mo pipe and shakin me sides at tlie way I put my coinhether on her. Nately done, wasn't it? Well, now, a-roo, that's what I call politics on my part ; and as you'll be apt to get a worse hint then that afore long yourself, I'd advise you to study my janius, and have a pair of cordaroys and a fine day, at the sarvice of the Opposition whiuever the himp comes too near your wizzen. It^s a little thing saves a body, if the fizzick is of the right sort and the dose is administhered unnonst. We had a very great sait of governmint removal meetin up here lately ; and have come to the detarraination that yez must shouldher yer budget, and march in this dereckshun whin yer four years are out. By this time I suppose Mr. CrafFard and Mr. Brown must have taken tay together, for at the meetin it was aqual to " Slauntha-uth'' bctune them the whole night. There was a good dale of sinse in what they said anyway ; so yez can rely on it that yez may as well be gettin your coid-wood cut in proper linths to fill your packin cases, and get yer ould stoves, pipes and irapty barrels ready for thransit to the spritely and intiiligint Misthress of this Western World. I'm v/aitin for you ; and will give you a " ceade millia faillha" — a bit of belly bacon, a Christian language, and a taste of somethin that you'll not be apt to throw in your shoe. There's for you ! Dickins a bit, but yez will have to thramp ; and it's jest as well to do it wid a good grace ; bekez we are the sthrongest up here now, and we'll not allow a whimper out of yez, right or wrong. Spakin of my janius, and spako of it I will ; for fear you'd think that I'm overratin myself, I'll compose you a song aforo ever I lay TEERY FINNEGAN's LETTERS. , 39 J B the pin out of iny luiiul ; urd Til do it in tin niinnet^. Up to this presiut moment the divil :i lino of it was ever written or thoui^ht of, and that you may b'leevo on the word of a Finnegan, one uf whose ancesthors was, as I untlherstand, often used instead of the Garvarry. Here it's for you — You may talk as you plaze, Peggy Moriu, But this much you know to be thrue ; That 'tis you I am always adorln, And tho divil another but you. And you know, besides, by the law Harry. ' That at Nenagh, that's near to Roscrea, , J Ooncy Gallagher's niece I could marry, . : ' While Miss Grady she axed me to tay. Yis ! — nobody less than Miss Grady ; • For didn't she ax mo herself ? • ., , And wasn't she, oh ! the rale lady, , ' Though a thrifie too long on the shelf. * . ■•,"'' But didn't the pair look falloren, Ween I axed — like the bouldest of miu — If they ever knew one Peggy Morin That lived at the foot of the glin ? " And," sez I — and I spoke at my peril, Th«y were gettin so wild, do you see — \ '; " Now.'I'm not goin past that same girl ; ■ . And I think she's not goin past me." Now, yer sowl you ! what do you think of that ? Is that rale stone turf or spodlioch ! Och ! me darlin ! there's a sthrake of bog dale in me that lights like a candle fhin the time comes ; and that's the raison I know that I don't belong to that unfortshunate class of ferrits that are forever berried up to their eyes in an idaya-burrow, and bringin to the surface every thin that even a pawnbroker could minshun, except the rale rabbit itself. Hould on ! Begorra here's the speech from the throne. It has arrived but this moment. As you may suppose, afther all I have sod I haven't much time to put n knife into it in this letther. lIo\\- iver, I can see at a glance that it's what Tom Steel would call a Lord Mayor's speech — " bladdherum-boo," or words to that effect. I'll give you my detailed opinion on it afore long ; and now that I see yez have all met, my word to you, I'll keep jny eye on your doins, and give you an occasional hint of how the cat jumps wid yez up hero. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finneoan, 40 TEREY FINNEGAN's LETTEES. IVo. 16. Stanlt Sthreet, 18th Feb., 1863. " Whips cut, away gray !" Now yez are at it, hammer and tongs ; and a good dale of pluck yez showed in the absence of John A. and Mr. Gait, in telling the Opposition, at the first start, that yez were ready for anythin, from a game of marbles to a murther, re- gardin the discussion on the speech from the Throne, or any other constitutional joke that happene^l to turn np. John Sanfield was at the bottom of this. Pon my conshuns, T think Tom Daley is right. He has, I am sure, been feedin some of yez wid a silver tay spoon, and administherin homeopathic doses of anti rep. by pop. fizzic, which have considhorably relaxed your system on the subject. Well, your out of the fire any way, as you never were an advocate for any sich fair play. Keep out of it ; mind Monthreal, and linchen your breeches pocket. The Nor' West territory, the Inthercolonial Railway, and the represintation question are the terrific reefs that lie before yez, and scarcely a hair's breadth below the surface. Shirk the whole of thim, or yez are done for — that is, don't legislate definitely upon any of tbim — mystify thim, and work up a militia bill, a bankruptcy measure, and fhe question of finances to a white hate. Don't you persave that, in Upper Kinneda, you have the Scylla of the Globe on the one side, and the CJiarybdis of the Ladher on the other, while in Lower Kinneda and in your own Councils yez are no betther oft'. Begorra, now is the time that you must bring your exparence on the tight rope into requisition, and perform some little fates that would be apt to astonish the Ravels themselves, if they happened to be lookin on at their agile pupil. Keep one leg parfectly loose for any emergency whativer, and larn to change it in the twinkling of an ej3, and in such a way as it will not be noticed by your own side of the House at laste. ' • . Didn't I tell you ihat George Brown would be in upon yez afore long ? Sure Mr. Cratfard tould him at the meetin up here that the I'ounthry couldn't do without him — an observation which has made our mimber very popular with the Catholic party — so, what could he TEBRV FINNEGAN'S LEXTBRe. 41 do but take the gintleman at his word ? South Oxford is, of course, to be the ground for him, and the divil a use in opposin him in that same place. " Moved by the Hon. John A. Macdonald, and second- ed by the Hon. George Brown." Wouldn't that be funny ? Bo the powers of Moll Kelly, yez wouldn't like it; and small blame to yez if any. Still, more unlikely things have come to pass. T am delighted to see the frindly feelin exhibited by Tom Daly attords Michael, on the very threshold of the prisent campayn. I'm sure afore the sosshun is closed, that Tom will have the ladin con- thracts for carryin the mail betune Stratford and Mitchell-- a dis; tance of upwards of tin miles by rail. Howsomdev -, he's rather a kantankerous chap, and I'm afeard the Postraasther Ginneral will have to do more than that for him afore he goes over to yez, body and bones ; but there's no sayin what's in the futher. Takin yez altogether, jest as yez are--Ministayrial and Opposition pon my sowkins, I don't know what to make of yez. Whether at the Council table or among the mimbers on the goat hand side of the Spaker, be the mortial, yez all appear to be at sixes and sivens. On both sides of the House there are sisms of the most dangerous characther. This comes of the unmixable natshure of the Frinch and English elements. The Upper Kinneda Opposition can't work their Frinch allies, on the point affecting us most vitally ; and so it is among the mimbers of the Cabinet. What, then, is to be done Put your thrust in God, and desave every man that you come acrass, particularly the Scotch. Rucollect that you are now a Ministher of the Crown, and the represintative of one of the most desperate con- stituencies that ever returned a mimber to Parlemiut ; consequintly you must retain your position and the confidence of the Monthrehall boys, if it was even at the expinse of a bunch of skeleton kays, or an occasional half hour's practice wid your lug glued against a thin partition or your eye doin a little bit of fancy work through an un- sHBpectin kay-hole or r. cracked windy shutter. It's not Irish, I know ; but the divil a thing else will do, so long as you're whore you are. Besides, mind you, there's no harm in privately keepin a little vein of good humor open attords the Opposition, and I'd always accompany any sharp thing that I might be forced to say of thim i m 42 TEKRY ilNNEGAN S LETTERS. wifl a nate little laugh that wouldn't be noticed nmcL on iny own side. (Jive Mike a hint rogardin this, and ask hiui to thry it whin ho is raakin a reply to Tom Daly next time. The speech is a very able documint, for it does not promise any siirtin amount of any sartin thiiig. That's jest whore all its merits lie. Yez did well not to spanshel yorselves up very tight in it ; fur there are those who would have taken instant advantage of it. Tlie lines left open for rethraie are various and well judged ; but rucol- lect, avourncen, there is a gulf at the ind of aich of thim that you umst not suffer yourself tobebaten into. If you cannot maintain your position, puzzle the ioneray if you can, till you are able to dhraw } our breath and re-arrange your forces.- And if ali goes to all, on the occasion of the first flag of thruce, jest whisper into his ear that you'll dissolve the House if he does not give up his capers ; and my word to you, that he'll open his eyes and pull a face the linth of a fiddle at that same information. That's where you have him, me bouchal ; for let mo tell you, there are some lads among both parties, that would rather stretch a point to meet your views than jump, undher existin circumstances, into the middle of a ginneral election. We would have sint you down the makins of a Provincial Say- cratery from this if we thought you were in sich a pinch ; though indeed afther the keerhaulin it got, the office was scarcely worth the takin. Howsomdever, if yez had pppaled to the Chief Superintin- dent of Edication up here, no doubt be would have sint yez some one of the throe hundred imaginary Spartans that he led «t one payriod to the rescue of the late Lord Metcalf. These still remain amoiig his " casual advantages," and he is, I am informed, quite ready to devote them to the service of the governmint of the day, no matther what its political creed or characther. Don't you think I have sed enough ? " Yis, begorra", sez you, "too much." Well, I am done now; although I cannot help ex, pressin my anxiety regardin the futher. Still, if you pay a modher- ate share of attinshun to what I say, and don't make John A. your implacable innemy, and keep rubbin a frindly shouldher against George Brown — although, be g'^cuhins, if a sartin peculiarity of his h TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. 48 counthry be taken into considejafihiin, it h he that should be rubbin against yui,. If you take my advice in tliis, I say, you may for long and niinny a day keep your fist uj) to your elbow in the public chest, and remain so till Her Majesty thinks proper to reward your eiuluent services wid the governorship of some of the Windward Islands, and visions of British '^lulana in the distance. Your lovin cousin, TflRRy Finn EG AN. No. n. SiANLY Stiirkkt, 27lh Feb., 1863. Well done ainock — Well done, I say agin ; — but it's yez that are swimmin wid yer head and shoulders above wather. Bo japers, I admire Maodugall. Didn't he spit it out in stylo. Begorra, there's a dacent dlirop in that fella afther all. lie didn't mince the matther, but told the Opposition plump and plane that he was only humbug- gin thim last Sesshun on the represintation question. Bo my sowkins, he got out of the thing well, and I think did yez all some sarvice by his manliness. If I had my way of it, instead of incrasin the number of represintatives, I'd sind a dozen or two of those already in Parlemint about their bizziness, and enthrust the affairs of the counthry to a few sinsible min not given over much to the gab, but anxious for the welfare of the province as a whole. Sure, alannah, as long as it's English and Frinch and Frincb and English, yez will niver get along. Jean Baptiste will niver play succond fiddle to yez or us up here durin secula seculorura. And, whin I corae to look into it, I think it's mane of some of us, now that we have got a thriflo more people in tins seckshnn of Kinnada then the li'rinch have below, to want to take advantage of it . .;d disturb the equipose which has existed so long and so happily. I'm beginnin to alther ray views altogether regardin your collaguos, seein that they are successful and apt to remain in power some time. Isn't it wondherful how soon we get an insight into the vartues o^ the winnin parly ? I'll be bound to you, that some of the journals that suppotted the late Ministhry will soon begin to discover that 44 TBBBY FINNEGAN S LETTERS. yez have among yez some of the ablest and most dinintherested stfttosmin that iver bruck the bread of life. Mind yez, it's yer own fault if they dont. Thiggen thu ? — I dont know that yez may count much on the Glohe^ as it appears addicted to a sort of inve- therate Joe Humeism that may be inconvanient, and turn out at the prisent moment to be somethin like the dog in the manger. Och \ mavourneen, but hadn't we the great Washington Anniver- sary dinner up here a night or two ago at the American Hotel. Be thtj man o' the moon, but the Yankees are soceally the most origi- nal people on the whole face of this "toresthial sphere," as poor Paddy Mullanah used to say. What do ye think, but there were as meny ladies as there were gintlemin prisent on that same occashun ; and what's more, will you believe me whin I tell you that a divil a taste of anythin in the way of fluids was on the table durin the whole faste and throughout the evenin, but oowld wather ! Sorra a word of lie is in it. Be gorra if the successful gintleman Misther Washington, whose anniversary they were commemoratin was a Washing tun, they could not have been more profuse of Lake On- tario on him then they were. It was a bitther cowld night, and I hard it said by more than one of the party, that upwards of a dozen, who were presint were attacked wid snowball and had to fly to a musthard plasther and somethin hot the moment they got relased from their hydrophatic pinnance, and I'll give you my conshins on it, that there was one fella tould me that he felt the short leg of a goose skatin in his stomach for upwards of an hour, afore it got aisy. "The pleasure of wine wid you," says one joker to a lady opposit him out. " Over the left" says she, in the most refined little manner in the world, givin, at the same time, her dear little thumb two or ^hree shoves over her beautiful shouldher, in a way that would put you so much in mind of home. Wasn't it plazin to be among people that were so free and aisy with aich other ? None of yer starched up work ; but the rale, prime repulican sintiment that can dispense wid yor ould countbry nonsinse, wid such bowin and scrapin and dhrawin room capers, and that looks upon ladies as well intitled as the starner sex to take a knife and fork at a public dinner, and return thanks when their healths are proposed, as well as do some d TEBRY PINNEGAn's LETTERS. 45 otber nate little things. This may be new to you, but that it has, to some extent, obtained up here is an undoubted fact ; and plaKei.1 I am that as, the ould plan comes a little awkard to some people, and is not eo aisy lamed if you don't begin youn^*, and in your own father's house. Sure I saw your picther and Michael's in the Illmthrated Hamil- ton News. The divil a thing done well about it but the dog-skin that's on your coat. You're not yourself at all in it. You look as black as the ace of spades and as gruff as a bear wid the tooth ache. As to Michael, from the way his lips are plated up, you'd sware that he was ailher expectin or takin somethin that wasn't of a very disagreeable carracther. Howsomdiver he is not so nearly related to himself as you are ; for barrin the specks and a sartin cut of the whiskers, he'd answer for any one of twinty gintlemin that I know of about fifteen stone aich. I must admit, nivertheless, that tlie artiste, whoever he is, has improved greatly since be gave us a sketch of the ruins of the Rossin House, and of the Qrand Thrunk Elevator by moonlight, whin he injaneously inserted an over-grown ginger beer bottle wid its contents, bein blown off on the wharf, and had the face to call it a steam ingin, if you plaze. I'm rather in good humor at how you're behavin yourself, although I know it goes agin your grain. You never were made for pace and quietness, and it's sure I am you're bottlin up somethin desperate for little Carther and one or two more of thim. You don't forget, avick, what he sed to you long ago up here, when you were talkin to him about goin into parlemint. It's a good sit down you gave him then for that same, as well as minny a time since. Howsom- diver, you musn't be so hard. Dot you know he's Frinch, and that his counthrymin tried to give us a helpin hand in '98. Keep that in your mind, asthoroch, and resarve your fire for the mimber — that is to be — for South Oxford ; for let me tell you that that's the boy that'll bo apt to give you some throuble, unless yez take him into partnership or give him a private kay of the public chest. . ,. How is Misther Evanthurel ? Is it thrue that he is about to turn his attinshun to the cultivation of lafe tobacky in his own constitu- ency. It will be a create relase to the poor man to get from amongst 9 46 TEKBY. FINNEOAn's LETTEBS. yez. Sure you know that I cant sind you tho quantity you ax for. Since the Chancellor and the two new Judges wore appointed up here, there wore upwards of ninety-four gallons borred from me. I sind you fifteen, but 1 know I might as well sind you a naggin, whin yez all got together. Write and lot me know at what paryod yez will be turned out. Your lovin cousin, , Terry Finnegak. No, 18 Stanly Sthrekt, Toronto, 0th March, 1863. My word to you, I'm afraid of this letther. I spint last night wid a one-eyed man who did a little fa.icy work in ninety-eight, that didn't improve his glazin. Afther the fifth tumbler, "Terry" sez lie over to me, " what arc^ they doin in Parlemint?" "What would you give to know 1" sez I, bein a little taken aback at a question that would puzzle the ould boy himself. " Let me tell you" sez he, "that they don't seem to know down there whether the grey goose or the white goose is the gandher, for they are puttin out convaynient min wid thoir election committees, and ruinin themselves wid their honesty." ''' ''^'' *■'' *'•' ■'■ > ■'•-'- ■' ' ^"~" •■';-' ^•-^"■ "Thighim" sez I, "but what's the diflference as long as Brown's in, for he'll make diathurbance enough to devart attinshun from any little eccentricities that they may indulge in at the first onset." " God grant it" sez he, not knowin very well what he was sayin, " but whin did you hear from him — I mane that bull-headed blacka- vized cousin of yours ?" " Read th»t," sez I, handin him over your last epistle which was written at an angle of forty-five, and apparently undher a great disarrangement of the alphabet — "Blur an turf," sez he, " do you mane to tell me that there's any such undherstandin betune John Sanfield and John A." " There's the sworn President of the Council for it," sez I, " and what more can you ax." " Thun- der and ages," sez he, " but I'm glad they're both Scotch'' — manin the two other buckies ; " but don't you think he overstepped it, in lettin it out »" " Och 1 mavourneen," sez I, " did you ever hear of TERRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. 47 the printhers oyo bein put out on a protestant biblo ?" " And," sez I agin, " I'd rather take him on Burnsos Poems, or on Hay's }3aladA of Ireland, if I wanted to put a hasp on his lip, than on anythin that hadn't the Maccabees in it." " That's sovare," sez he, " but we'll have to take him as he is, and I'm afraid there's no help for it.'' " Lave it here," sez I, sthretchin out my fist to him, " and if that was the way in which Ireland thrated all her distinguished sons, it would be so much the betther for us. Minny a hoio might bo picked in that same man's coat ; but if the saygulls were at him, like those in Hiawatha at the ribs of the king of fishes, they could never lave him naked, because undher all he wore Thonuis Darcy McGoe." Well, God knows, people will begin to think that I'm layin it on wid a throwel; but the truth comes aisy to me, and if there's a sthrake of poethry in a body, ho can no more hide li than the earth her primroses. Don't think I'm forgettin Michael; only that I began on you first, I could lade him handsomely through minny a paragraph. I'm glad that the paper's nearly done, for I feel in a similar condition myself. Howsomdiver, I have room for one line more, and that is just where I'll write Your lovin coHsin, ' ' ' Terry FiNNKOAN. No. 19. ■ r. , ■ ■ Stanly Stiireet, 10th March, 1863. Well, If I'm not longin for Patherick's Day to come : whin not a sowl less than eight thousand of us will turn out up here, ready To' anythin from a game of marvels to a murther, and dotarmined to sport the ould flag from St. Mary's down to St. Paul's, without an inch of ground to spare betuue us, Thai's the sight that warms (.he cockles of my heart and brings to mind minny an anshent custom and glorious apoch. I suppose you have too sthrong a dose of Frinch among yez down there, to thry any such caper ; but I don't see why ; for we, at laste, ought to be frinds, and .not forget Fontenoy and Killala, or Banthry Bay, I dunna which, . , ._, 4^ TERRY FINNEGAN^S LETTERS. Vm raloy glad that yez aro behavin so roHpectaMu attords aicii other ill tho House; fur I must Hay thiit it^H more then I oxpoctod at first. But as Guorgft is not there yet, I'm afraid Vm couutin my chickens afore they're hatched. Howaomdiver, he may do bettiier then Vm anlici|mtin, seein that ho is an ulthored man in more then one respect — and room there was for that same. Shure I tould yon that nothin could keep him out of Parlemint; and right I was in my conjecture, behovin that yez wouldn't intherfare much wid his return, for sartin raisons. If you can only get him off that foolish represin- tation question, he's bagg'd as safe as the hare you snared the night we were chased by long Jack Grady the game-keeper ; for, you per- savfi, yez have all the rest in yer own hands, so long as there's a pinny to be made out of yez. Is'nt it a wondher that Misther Howland had'nt his commercial policy ready for Misther Rose whin he axed him for it the other night in the House? Shure there's nothin more simple in the world then footin up that same question. Let yez begin by levy in a duty of one per cmt. on all American lecturers who visit us — pormittin them to invoice themselves at their own valuation or that set on them by some of our litherary societies. Can any thin be plainer ? There's a mine ot wealth in it ; and satisfied I am, that if you minshun the thing to the Ministher of Finance he'll agrep wid me, that it may be about as raison^ble a source of rivinue as some he may be axed to adopt afore the sesshun's over. I'm gettin out of consait wid tho Opposisbun, bekase it's only wid squibs their fightin ; but I'm thinkin that John A. is only lyin low to take betther aim at yez. 'Pon my conshuns, a finer fella niver bruck the briaad of life ; and sorry I am that he's not frinds wid tho whole of yez, and in among yez besides. Could'nt yez turn out some Frinchman at a venthur, and make place for him ? Shure, the divil a loss it would be to Tom Ferguson if the whole of thim were out of the House, as Misther Archamboo — who, I suppose, is some relation to Bladdher-um-boo — can tell. Look into the matther, and refer to it in your next. Was not John Sanfield the bitther joker to move an adjournmen the other night in consequince of a " stoppage of gas ?" Shure he TERRY FINNKOAn's LRTTKK8. 49 wfts puttln the curt aforo tho horso, fo' sicli a thing couldn't haye possibly occurred until the ndjournmont had first taken place itself, or Avhile there wa» .-i single sowl of yez awake and talkin. It was a grc'iit bit of fun intiroly; but not a very logical nioshun to be made by the Attorney Ginneral himself. I suppose you latfed at it until your heart was nigli brack ; for you're the boy that knows the ups and downs of it. They're vexed up here bekase yez won't give thiln a chance of foruiin the brigade of militia min that yez promised to do. Now, if ye/ did promise to do that, yez musn't brake your words, bekase that brigatle would bo one of tho finest in the whole counthry, from the fact, that the divil a sowl would be let into it that wasn't as ginuine a Paddy as ever kicked a fut ball or danced a jig. I'll look into the case further, afore I say much on the subject ; but, sluire, I'm sinsible enough, that naither you nor Michael would have H hand in it. Begorra, I think myself, that if we had a fow hund - herd Tipperary boys up here wid muskets in their fists, it would be betther then openin up the Nor' West: as we'd soon laich the ^' regulars'' manners, and tbry and take a sthrip of land from our frinds on the other scide of Lake Ontary. I haven't much life in me to-day some how or other, although I didn't sit up late naither. I think we got home betune two and three ; but I had the divil's work wid little Tom Kelly, who got badly hurt wid % broken tumbler that was meant for a policeman who was ihryin to take the landlord. Tom didn't know who sthruck him wid it ; and what does he do, afore any explanashu^ could be given, but lay a very pasable and clane lookin sthranger that sat just behind him, almost dead wid a blow of a chair. Sich ruck- shins I niver witnessed since I leftRooskey. whin they boilt a guager in a still one night for intherfarin wid a runnin that was goin on in a bog near Mary Callahans. I declare, to tell you the thruth, I had to turn me head away and almost lave the place whin I saw his two legs stickin out ; but he couldn't have suffered much, as the licker was nigh a red hate, and there was almost enough to cover him. I have done at pnsint, and thrust you are in good health. Whin you see Michael tell him that the editor of the Leadher is very much t u r.o TERRY FINNEOAN S LETTERS. jjlazed wid his altherashuns of the mails. He usetl to be plazed wid Sidney Smith's arrangements too, which is rather giuerous on hio part. I 900 yez are fightin a little about printin; but my advice to you is not to let it ail out for a few days; and you'll find that tlKsre may be some raison iu the hint, afore long. Don't dispose of all your conthracts too airly, allanah, for the longer you keep a few of them on hand, the more attinshun will be paid to yez. This is a quarc world ! is^nt it? That it is so, in troth, is tiie opinion of Your lovin cousin, TeURY FiNNIiGAN. p. 8. — Ogle R. and John llilliard are invited to walk wid u?. Oglft \i. has consinted to propose the health ol the Administhrashun, and John McWatt or Tom Cotton, it is thought, will retnrn thanks. T. F. Wo. 20. Stanly Sthkeet, ISth Marcli. 18G3. Oh! whillalu nanocke! Darcy, darlin, if you iver saw sich a sight ! Bogorra, it'u well it's the other hand or I \\ouldn't be able to give you a lino on the subject *, but how I came to get it was in takin Mick Dovlt's bulbdoij oft' a Scotchman that he saw standin on the sidewalk widout a green ribbin on his hat. Mick's "Grow- ler" always walks ; and knowin that ray buckie wasn't one of us, ho starts out of the processhun and had him down iu the twinklin of a tobaccy box. I was aftber him in a succond, of coorse, Mick not payin much attinshun to it, and in tarin him off, wliat d'ye think but he made both his teeth meet in the fat of my left hand. He didn't see me at the time ho did it; for the moment tho thief was aware that he was dhravrin rale Iripit blood, he dhrops his hoult wid a whine,Iicks my fist, and tho divil a tail did ho straighten for the wholo (lay afthorwards. Well, you'll say "that's naither here nor there," and may be you're right; but tho point is, tlie glorious procossliuu of Irishmin on the I7lh day of March, 1863, in theCity of Ti)ronto, in comrnimo. rashun of the anniversary of their tutelar saint. And that was tlie TERRY FINNEGAN 8 LETrERS. 61 processluin, or I'm no jidge of pottieen. From St. Paul's up to any other place you plaze, providin you count it two miles tff, the divJi a inide:e could pass the sthreet. Sthramers flyin — bands a playin — societips wavin their banners — marshalls ridin up and down, and thousands of sober and steady mtn keepin step like sogers. It was a grand sight lot me tell you, and one that will be remimbered in this city for minny a day to come. At the splindid collashun at S^ Pathorick's Hall, naither John Hillyard nor Ogle R. attinded. The former wrote an apology to the effect that he couldn't lave John A. lie was so fond of him ; and the latther refusal to be prisent point blank, bekase Michael wasn't invited. Howsomdiver, begorra, we got on swimmingly widout them, and bruck up — wha*; was to me the greatest vvondher on earth — in pace and quietness, at an early hour. To be sure, there was an odd blow outside attords mornin ; but it was only a few Englishmin who were bet for keepin late hours ; and althou^u I can't say I know all the ins and outs of it, I'm sartin thev were in the wrong, and desarved what they got, and much good may do them wid it. Your health was dhrank of coorse, and sorry I'm for it ; for, upon me sowkins, the noise they nied was worse on my head than all the licker I dhrank durin the day. " Sit down," sez I, to a joker from the Gore of Toronto, that for a consid- herable payriod was endeavourin to get through the flare. " Sit down yourself," sez he, givin me an eye that I undherstood, " and may be the sooner you do it the betther." That was the only crass word that passed durin the whole evenin at the table. Well, yez got into throuble I see on the Separate School question. Shure yez will count sich Utile things nothin, whin yez get used to thim ; but let me tell you, that, in connexion with that Bill, John Sanufield has exhibited some manly thraits which recommiud him to me at laste, and must, I think, recommind him to every proud and honest man in the counthry. Be the mortial, there's not a mano sthrake in him — he's a sthraight forred fella; and next to John A. himself, by the powers of pewther, I think I'd give him a share of my last uaggin. You see the curse of it is, yez are not shure of yer own side of the house, and Sanfield won't beg. More power to his elbow for that same. What has he or the counthry to gain from a support that's not intelligint and spontaneous ? 5^ TERRY F1NNEGAN*S LETTERS. Tell Michael that I havo jest resaved a letther from Lord Mor»ck, beggln of me to give him a hint as to the impropriety of atta<;icin Couchon whole joke, half airnest at any ball that may be given in future by his Excellency, and at which both these geutlemin may bo presint, " for, ray dear Terry," sez his Lordship, " although I know Foley to be an able man and a fine fella, he is very voilent. What did you attack me in your paper for? sez he to Couchon. Oh ! sez the other, I am in opposishun, and attack the miuisthry in part or in whole as the case may be, and not you personally or in a private capacity ; so you see my doar Terry, that Couchon had the best of it, although sorry I'm for it, not wishin to give the Frinchthe upper hand in the dhrawin '-oom at laste." These are his very words to me, and you can see the letther yourself whin you come up ; but you musn't say anythin about it or may be it would intherrupt our cor- respondence, if not put an ind to it altogether. I dunna whether George has left here yet or no ; but perhaps you think he'll be time enough whin he gets down. Faith my impres- sions run in the same channel, for well I know he's concoctin some- thin desperate up here or he would have been wid yez long ago. Tnere was a rumour that he took tay at the palace the other night, but I can scarcely believe it, although I think he. lives oppossit it. Nivertheless, it's hard to say what a man will do wlien he wants to butcher a political opponent, and you know, if Bishop Lynch and he put their heads together, it will lade to nothin more or less than the utther extinction of British Freedom and the revival of the Inquisi- tion ; bekase, you see, George, as a protestnnt, can bring the thumb- screws of Queen Elizabeth to bear upon the subject, while his Lord- ship has pick and choice, accordin to Tom Fergusson or Ogle R. Be this as it may, your metal is about to be thried any way ; and, if yez don't look out, the lord knows what the consoquinces may be. You remimbor poor Boxty Mulioy-r- James you know — not Meddy ? Well, I was lookin over some of my ould ])apers tlio other day, and if I didn't find the followin in tho poor fella's haricl-writin. lie was a great Latin scholar and a funny fslla as vou know ; so I jist thought I'd copy it verbatim and let you see it : — TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. 53 •5 OHE ! JAM SATIS EST. But I am the unhappy man From night till morn — from morn till night ; For, do the very best I can, That cursed best is never right. Whether leat or drink or dance, ' Or speak or bow, to those who pass, • Or sing or drive, by some mischance, I always make myself an ass. The other day when at a feat— A splendid feat not far from town — • With beating heart, I chanced to meet One M&ry Anna Julia Brown. ' I saw her eyes swore love to mine — Such love as words can ne'er express ; But handing her a little wine I dashed it o'er her satin dress ! She smiled and asked me for some snipe — I didn't like that smile ! — not I ! — I tried to carve, but such a wipe As then I gave h«r in the eye ! For oh I — the like has ne'er been heard — My fork— and I in such a state — It slipped !— and the accursed bird Flew at her off the cursed plate ! Oh! then I shuddered in despair, •' She met me with so dark a frown. And sinking down into my chair, Lost Mary Anua Julia Brown ! I tried to dance some after that. But dancing now was but a bore, Yet still I managed to lay flat My furious host upon the floor ! But after all, I sang with grace ; And soon commencing, with a sigh, I t'wards the ceiling turned my face. But plaster fell into my eye ! Enough ! I rushed from such a fate ; And drove off with a deadly groan ; But oh \ my gig, when at my gate. Upset and broke my collar bone ! And here as now I lie in bed, A bachelor, though wed to woe, • ' I hear, though I can't lift my head, My butler drawing corks below ! Then am I not a haunted man From night till morn — from morn till night ; For, do the very best I can, -iiyi That cursed best is never right ! 54 TERKY FINNEGAN 8 LKTTKWS. Bej^orra that Wla w.isn'i an Iiishman any way, or hoM never let that woman go ho aisy. S>ol» I as if a a little dhribbb of wine, and an accidental slap in the eye is to knock a fella completely head over heels. It isn't Terry Finnegan was there, in his younger days, or the case would have been otherwise. I'd have taken her aside quick enough, and afther givin her a squeeze that had manin in it, "Miss Brown," I'd say, *' It wasn't I that spilt the wine, but it was the ardent tremhlin of the rosy licker itself in its desire to racho your beautiful lips that induced it to lave the glass prtcipitately ; and as for the snipe" I'd continue, "the bird, roast and all as it was, knew that I wasn't an expert carver, and havin got one glimpse of those glittherin pearly teeth of yours, he thought he'd jist make their ac- quaintance at once widout any aid, and only missed his way by a couple of inches." What d'ye think of that allanah ? She'd come out of the corner of the room lanin on mv arm ; that's wliat she'd do; and the divil's good cure to the fella for bein sarved as he was, for his faintin and sigliin a id stuff; and I'm only sorry that it wasn't his neck was bruck instead of his collar bone. Well I'm done now. I suppose yez will be all out or reorganized by the time I write agin. I hope you have'nt forgot all you larnt on the tight rope; for, let me tell you, that it is at this particular moment you'll have to bring it into keen requisition. I wish you had larned skatin for that's very slippery work, and the " outside edge" gives you sich power over both legs. Howsomdiver, I think the tight rope will do, a-id I therefore recommind you to thry any- thin you like on it now privately. Your lovin cousin, Tkrrt Finnkoan, P.8. — Will you b'lieve me whin I tell you that I hard a fella say yesthorday that he'd give a two year ould to hear you spake, and that it was a damned shame for the Irish to let you stay pinned up in any Government whin you could do so much good if you were thoroughly your own masther* May bo he's right. T. F. TEREY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. JVo. 21. 55 Stanly Sthreet, 26th Marcli, 1863. Ah ! be dad ! I know that yez would soon brake up afther the thirty days wore over, and yez got yer six hundred dollars snug and oily iu yer pockets, Shure its the lawyers that know how to work the thing nately ; for the niinnet they found there wasn't another pinny to be mod out of the sesshun, they flew up to the Coort here, detarrained to knock a dacent pound out of a sesshun of their own, by way of makin up for the short allowance that they b'llovo them- selves put on through your cheese parin economy and your incor- ruptable detarmination to hizband the rivenues of this prosperous colony. I'm afraid, homsomdiver, that yez will have to go back to the ould six dollars a day ; for let me tell you, that this payment in advance, when the sesshun is to be a long one, will embarras you more thin yez have bargained for, and lave the countbry in the lurch besides. On the part of most of the mimbers, there'll be a sort of sinse that they 'ro workin for nothin — yez will have to be forkin over a few dollars, now and thin, to various jokers that spint all they got — and there will be such borrowin, and goin in debt for boord and things, that the suit of Govornmint will become anythln but a des'- rable resort to a large number of our represintatives. At lastc wherein had they there six dollars a day joggin along beside thim, they wouM be for cuttin their coat accordin to their doth, and be kept doiti somcthin for their constituents and the Province at large besides. Darcy, d'ye know that I am a great admirer of tho Poles ; from tiio wrtv they handU; ihe scythe and lay down the lvO'>shans in swards, in regular oukl Irisii fashion — nippin thim acrass llie waist, and lavin one half of iliiiii staggerin in their breeches, while the other was playin k']> frog -aI their foot. Mustn't it bo refreshin, and inspirin to those who arc I'.ot much better off thin these braves, and who require to have their i fathers lintlicned or their spanshols knocked off altogether? Shure it's my heart that was grieved for the way that Dinmark was distil ressed the other day, regardin the shape of the British Crown. What d'ye think, avourneen, but it wouldn't fit into the 56 TERRT FINN^ -nTKRS. corners of the Princes Alexanar. -ket bandkichers;. and the commoshun was so dhreadful, that upwards of six hundred reedle- wimmen together wid the Ministhry were put to their wits inds to overcome the difficulty. Begorra, I don't think it would be any harm to give it a little parin to make it fit ; bekase you see its med lik a heart wid the bottom cut out of it; and I'll lave it to Michae' Murphy of the Hibernian Society, if it doesn't look like that same. Och I me bouchal, if it was the shape of the ould Irish tiara -a bee- hive of goold so fiamin wid the glories of the past as tc rindhor su- perfluous the prisince of a single presshus stone — if it was of this shape I say, how bewtifuUy it would glide into the corners of the delicate lawn and mostly lace. And shure Her Majesty the Queen, jest might as well have ordhered it to be used as the other one ; for she wears it- — and pon my conshins, I sometimes think its unnonst to herself— and sarlinly its as anshunt and as dignified as the one she's • ^n the habit of usin more plentifully. Besides, you see if there was an odd little bit of preference given to it in this way, it might lade to throwin a sthrake of Irish in among the crowned heads of Europe that might one day or other sarve a good purpose in behalf of the Britich Empire. Do yez get whisky and tobaccy down there free ? The raison why I ax you is, that I think yez oughtn't to be worse off than our Corporation up here, who, accordin to the Police Magisthrate, have snugger quarthers then is ginerally supposed by the citizens. I don't think the Mayor smokes, but as for dhrinkin, I'd like to see the man that would thickin his tongue or glaze his eye. Barrin one relapsed tee-totaller that spint a night at Lanty Fagan's, I don't think I ever met the aquel af some of these boys. This joker findin himself rather dhry about the muzzle in the middle of the night, gets np and gropes his way to the bar that was unforshunately left open. Whin Lanty riz at six o'clock to take down the shutthersand dust the decanthers, he had to go out for a gallon of sperrits to start his business agin. There my joker lay on the flure, afther imptyin the three rows and a small lamp wid about a naggin of Coal Oil in it, that was on the counther. It was mordal warm at the time, and at the incusht in the afthernoon, the jury, led asthray by the oath of TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. 57 a fririd of his that hadn't seen him for a week, gave in avardict that he died from the incaushua use of ice walher, while in a great hate. The doctor agreed with thirn, the poor man. AVell, I suppose yez are gatherin strinth for the ninth. You'll need all yez can sum up, for Oeorge is detarmined to houid ye/, to the one point. Ilowsomdiver, the back handspring turned by the refracthories on the Separate School question is all in your favor, as it loosens his hoult upon thira. Nivertheless, I'm lookin for new combinations and a few ugly rcnconthers as the Frinch say. Keej) your eye steadly on your o.vn posishun and see how far you can sthride on the rope widout losing your balance. If there's any fear of your fallin you can get four sturdy fellas to take hoult aich of a corner of the Ladher and spread it ready to resave you. You needn't be afraid of goin through it, if you were twice the weight and had Michael on your back. I'm done now and have only jest time to subscribe myself Your lovin cow sin, Terry Finnegan. No. 22. Stanly Stiiueet, 1st April, 186.'J. Anira raon dhoul ! but it was a blundher of yez to adjourn until the ninth, when yez know, yourselves, that to-day, above all days in the year, was cut out for yez, in ordher to give yaz an oppertshunity of inthroducin some of yer princopal mizzures wid effect, and dis- playin that profound eloquence which, some time ago, kem nigh purswadin Mr. Dinis that he hadn't a head upon his shouldhers. But, be me sowl, avournieen, you might not have been so restricted In the application of the joke you perpethrated upon that occashun, for let me tell you, there's minny a Saint Dinis in the House that hasn't got his head undher his oxther, atself,let alone upon the top of his "spinal column," as larnedly obsarved by your 'own four bones. Howsomdiver, the grater number of footballs you'll have at your sarvice; and if you only can get a good, square rise at aich of thim whin yez take sides agin, I have no raison to doubt that you'll sind thim a good way on attords the bary. You have had a grate 68 TERRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. (l;ilo of practice, T know, in this rolashun ; and if any binly onther lains the slightest misgivin upon the subject, I bog lave to refer hiui to Mr. Clark of the Thrue Witness^ who has not, I believe, yet gone to India as private saycratary of the Duke of Newcastle. Spakin of the Duke, wasn't it a dacent wink ho got from thu Queen, to give John A. the Governorship of the Australian Colonies ? Ton my sowkins, I dunna what to make of that same move ; and I'm afraid George Brown has been at the bottom of it; for he has been liardo to say that if the late Attorney Gineral "West had his desarts, he'd have been in ]3ottomy Bay long ago. It was very bitther of liira, wasn't it ? But afther all, as Mr. Brown didn't take tay wid the Quoen whin he was at home a short time ago, perhaps there's no thruth in my surmises. I tell you what it is, it's rather a difficult thing to put John A. oft the scint of this self-same Kinneda, whiu he wanst lays his nose to the ground ; and shnre I am, that he'd rather spind the remaindher of his days in puttin an occasional knife into one or the other of yez in the House, thin rulin an outlandish coun- thry where he would be liable at any moment tobesarved up smokin hut as a choice morsel to tickle the palate of some native chief — al- tliough, indeed, barrin his brains, the divil a much pickin there won! bo about him. Tisn't Michael they'd have in it. I'm very glad to see that that respectable journal the I'icton Garcctk, has opened up a channel in newspaper litherature which lias hitherto remained unexplored, and which will, doubtless, tind to exalt the Canadian press in the eyes of ail proud, giiierous and lion ■ orable min. The simpl j field of Colonial politics, and the ])u1)lic acts of public min appear altogether too conthracted for the opora- shuns of a mind so comprehinsive as "that of this "Thunderer" Oonsecjuintly, widout the slightest hesitation ho steps from out the baton thrack, that has ever been kept religiously by the rale giiiile- man, and dogs tho steps of his victim into private life with a view to bluzonin to the world the faults and foibles which attach so plen- tifully to almost ivory mimbor of the human family. Arrah ! asthoro, there's not a one singb dhrop of Irish blood in the^lla that coidd be guilty of sich an act; and I am happy to tell you, that the opinion, up here, is unanimous, that ho should be placed in tho TERKV FIN'.iiGAN'tt LlCFfEES. )9 -al- catHgory of tho Infonner or tlio f-j)y, and banished iium ivcry dhrawin room and fire sido tliroiigliout tlio lintli and breadth of the Province. Bhir alive cctddn't yez manage to inLhroduce a Hill that would l»ln(50 yez in a position as favorable as ihat occupied by ]5isJioj) Oolenzo. IJegorrn, ho can't give up his situation, and whin ho was axed to do so by the Arc]d>ishop of Cantherbery, ho tould his (iraco that same. Like the Iiislunan that caught tho Tarthcr, he can't get rid of it, and shure I am that the divil a one of yez but would bo glad to bo tarred wid the same brush. Ah ! bo tho mortial, the clargy always have it, down even to tho best (luarthtjr of mutton or the nicest bit of belly bacon. Small blamo to thim, if anv. The sperritual man is seldom worth tuppence unless ho occupies a well built and substantial case; Mr. Pope and one or two others, to tho contrary notwithstandin. Look for instance at tho size of Dr. Cahill that brought the moon on tho stage the other night, as well as the sun and siven stars, and see if Pm not right regardin this earthly tinemint of ours. lie's as good a six foot four as ever was tould on a recruitin standliard ; and the cthayrial kernel seems to fill up ivory criviss of the outer shell complately, and wid vigour the most undiminished. You may say what you like, but the Yankees aro the greatest peo- ple that livcr flourished a bowio knife or handled a revolver. Al- though they have a little fancy job on hands at their own door, shuie nolhin will do thim or tho Now York Times but a crack at Great Jirilain and Ireland^ if any body will thrust them for tho powdhor. Isn't it amusin to see them tossin up their ould gooso of aigle into the air in this way, although the unfortshunate fowl has come down (lop on his belly so often racently, that he's nearly the shape of a pancake. Be dad, I think Jeft". Davis is able to furnish them wid sufficient rereation in the way of war for some time to come ; and I'm sartin, if they had common sinse they'd direct all their energies attords keepin off that same joker from puttin a knife into the wob- blin and half collapsed balloon of the Avindy North, which he is apt to do at no very distant payriod, or my name's not Terry Finnegan. Sich downright impiddence ! Only fancy, a lot of swaggerin bank- «(l TERRY FINNEOAn's LErrERS. nipts, nid an army of conscripts and foreign mercenarios that doesn't possess a gineral worth tuppence, and dispises the cause which ii was obliged to espouse through force or poverty — only fancy, I .sayi sich gascons houldin out a threat to a people that, for very pastime' would wring the nick oft" thim like a young pullet, and sweep a spor.ge over the yalla daub of their territory on tho map of the world. I'm gettin angry, I b'liove, and as I haven't another lafo of paper, I'll subscribe myself as usual, Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnegan No. as. Stanly Stiirbet, lih. May, 1803. Yerrah, Darcy astoroch, had you iver - tho gout. " I'on me fiowkins," sez you to me, now, " unless the Lord is maniful, maybe its the g'out I'll have fast enough on this same vote that's soon to take place !" But, that's not what I mane. Had you iver tho rale gout, that would make you twist your mouth till it looked like the letter S on the broad of its back, or the flourish on tho belly of a fiddle ? Och ! but that's the thing, raavournieen, that would pre- pare you to spind a pleasant .hour or so at a dhrivellin tay party, where you'd be axed so minny intherestin little questions, and bo ginnerously plied wid cup after cup of .vhat might [ think be termed scandal broth, instead of anythin else. Be this as it may, let mo tell you, that it was that same complaint in my right hand which kept me from givin you a stave these last few days; and the divil a quarer cure you ever hardo of thin the one that brought me round so far as to be able lo sind you this. I was walkin aloDg the sthreet the other night, as pasable as any man from the County Tipperary could ; whin a joker comes up be- hind me and gives me a fut that laid me on my left lug, about three feet from where he overtook me. " Tbeg your pardon" sez he, whin I got up, " but I thought it was Sweeny." "Did you," sez I, " take that I" — dhrawin my right hand at the same time, wdiout ever TERRY FINNEOAN S LETTERS. 61 rale :e the of .1 pre- arty, .1 bo nnecl mc hich vil a ound any p be- three whin take ever thinkin, and closin hia left eyo for the evenin, wid a tech that, as ould as T was, tould him what I used to be. We had it for a minnit or two ; but he was no match for me, for 1 ^ave him I.anty l^helan's thrip, and tint him homo sinseless in a cart. The divil i\ gout I had since; and you may spread the cure among the mimbers, if you like, as it may bo useful to some of thim yet, afore they are put to bed wid a shovel. AVhich leg are you standin on at prisent ? for the divil resavo the bit if I know what advice to give you, the rope is gettin so slack and unraanagable. Stand on the left, for you can use the right as a ballanse pole, and step off wid grater dacency if you're obliged to tbry the flure once more. You'll come down aisy, as you have naither Rep. by Pop. nor Separate Schools hung round your nick like a mill-stone ; havin niver fathered the one nor opposed the other. IJegorra, that's somethin anyway ; and it's giaU Mr. Evanturel is of jt, I'm sure; for if you fell,' he would be very sorry to see you dislo- cate that important seckshun of the spinal coUum upon which your dusky napper rests — the humane cratshure. Well, niver mind ; if there's any differ yez are all alike, right and left; so its no mattber to the counthry which of the calves are put to its tit. Shure we had a great concert up here the other night ; and de- lighted I was wid the way that some rale ladies and gintlemin be- haved thimselves while the music was goin on. They kept up the natest little gigglin and talkin that ever was in the world, they were so aisy undher their shuperior eddication ; and one or two of thim lej ^heir sticks fall, in the middle of some low soft tune or other, lookin round at the same time, wid the purtiest grin you ever saw, to see who was admirin 'lilii ; and quite plazed wid thimselves and the breedin they larned among the refined ginthry that crowded nightly their spashus dhrawin room. Oh! Darcy, r.llanah, but you would be charmed with their indepindince, and how they didn't care a fig for the music, or anythin else. But, begorra, I believe its no wondher that they lafi'ed and made sport ; for there was a big fiddle and a little fiddle, and a piano playin somethin they call the " First movement, Grand Trio in C minor," by Beethoven. Faith it all most makes myseinaflf; and I'm sure if Dr. Strathy, Mr, Haig» and C2 TERRY FINNEOAn'h LE'n'ERS. Mr. Sot'^'o, had given tliini " whoop jfiw bono wid my doo jiu doo" tho divil a ((uiotcT sot of people over hi> in a church-yard than thoy would liavo bc(Mi. Darcy, don't you think that some of ns aroniado of clay, and others made of clawbor, wid an odd wisp through it? I'm dono now : and I'm thinkin that maybe you're not far from bcin (lone yourself; although sorry I'd bo for it. IJowsomdiver, thoy can't take that tongue out of you, or twist that sconce oil }our shouldhcrB, for they're your lawful proporty. Consecpiintly you're safe, no matthcr what turns up ; although that's moro then I can say for half of thim. Undbor this conviction, niverthelosH, I can sub- scrib"^ myself witl grate also and satisfaction, Your lovin cousin, • Tkrry Finnkoan P.S. — Do they make noise and grin at concerts down there in your place ? T. F* No, 21. Stanlv SniREET, 1-Uli May, 1863. One pvcnin for divarshin's sake as I roamed out alone, I lianle a faymale lady bright oh 1 thin makin her pittish moan, Slie wrung her hair and tore her hands and to herself did cry. On ! thiu, Johnny, jeAvel, don't murther me, or else I'll surely die I Oh ! wirrasthrn ! wirrasthru ! but I'm in the melancholy vano. The divil a sich an upset I iver saw for the time. Well, begorrn, only for yourself, John 8aufie'd and Mike, sorra much difterence I think it will make to the counthry. There is one comfort, howsom- diver, yez go out wid clane hands, fot bad cesa to the pinny yez had to take ; consequintly, the fut you got needn't disthrews you much • although, had you left a full chest behind you, I'm inclined bleeve you'd have to ring your pocket hankicher more than wanst in the day. Isn't goin to the counthry rather ticklish, allanah ? I'm afeard the Represintation fjuestion will sthrangle yez in Upper Kinnads as nately as if it was Calcraft himself. G>^orge will nai| yez on that, avick, and in a manner too, that yez can't pull out the spike wid yer teeth. My hand to you on it. Blur an turf, isn't it a TEUllY FINNEOAN d LETrEUS. 03 ^" pity llmt tlioie aro sicli thitifrs as prcncipluH, uikI tlmt u lellu'rt often oblcegcd to Hssliumo n vartuo though ho liiw it not 'i Ocli ! if tlio world w;is prepftre<] for it, wouldn't it bo a gintityin tliinjj^, if ji cnn- didato for parliuniinthary honors could innLo as clano a broiust of il, on tho hustina, m Jano Jack Jlooso did in hia " Confes.shuns," for thin we'd know what sort of a joker wo had to dale wid, instead uf waitin day afther day to find out his villiany on tho tUuo of thu House ? That it would ; but there's no sich hope of any sioh politi- cal niillanyura coiuin to pass at this present writin, or at any other writin, time or place. It's tho thruth I'm tellin you. Nearly all lualo persons aro double — a bla^gard and a giiitloinan — tho latther bein tho husk and tho former, in most case?, the kernel ; and, begorra Kometimes I feel it in myself; although, like tho rest of Ihini, I'm always inclined to put the boat fut foremost and keep, if possible, tho wako ankled lad in the back grounds. . Oh 1 thin, mussha ! hadn't wo tho weddin up hero on Tuesday last, IJo the hole o' my coat, it bate anythin you ivor hardo of on this side of the herrin pond. That of Ballypoorieen was'nt fit to hould V candle to it; and only for the rain that was spoutin out of the clouds and lappin minny a fella's hat about his lugs, be tho mortia), the whole affair wouli be aqual to tho Arabian Nights. Tin bridesmaids, if you plaze ; tho divil a one less, all dhressed in tarlton t brimmed wid blew, and lookin, as they came out of their carriages, as if aich vayhickle was a rose, and all its laves were blown about Ton me sowl, I felt as if I had the big dhrummer of the 30th in my brest, my hart wint at sich a rate. Oh! millia murther! Well, sorra sich a crowd was iver seen at a marriage hero; and only for Captain i'rence and the polecce God only knows how the thing iniglit have inded. The Church in Trinity Square was panged to the very doore with as unmannedy a set as ever onthercd a Christian cdifis, includin the editors of tho Globe and Lodher, and those af all tlio Weeklies, especially him of the Christian Oardan. Almost all the Prosbeteran population had to bo turned out ; but that was to be expected, as they were laflin at thedhrcssesof the six parsons that were engaged in slippin the nooxo round the deludef thim, and you know what I mane by that. Shure we're goin to have tlie parlemint up here, right away, accordin to all accounts ; and wiii you bleeve me whin I tell you that iver since the news came, eggs is riz and butther Is rizzer in the property market and every other market ? Still, and withal, I'm not so shure that the Frinch are goin to let go their grip of it so aisy, nor do I suppose that much will be said about it whin the House opens. Whm you vote on the question, keep your finger on the pulse of Monthreal. Verb. Sap. as ould Milloy used to say — the heavens be his bed. Do you think the Ladhrr is well informed on the subject of Michael's political whereabouts ? Be the vartue of my oath, if a body is to take that same paper as authority it would be hard for him to tell which thimble the pea is undlier. At present I'm playin prick at the loop myself wid half a dozen of yez, for I might as well be thryin to keep out the tide wid a pitch-fork as be endeavorm to make yez out. Yet I have confidence in Michael, and am satis- fied he will do the clane thing, if he even makes a summerset at self Darcy, dear, tliis counthry is very extensive, but it's badly finced* Rely upon it that it is just what Lord Palmerston termed it, an over- grown municipality. All our fine airs and official bearin, are not •worth tuppenue. "We have naither money nor lineage, nor thradi- tions, for a solid substrathum. We are all at a game of "divil take the hindmost," and I'd advise you sthrongly not to be in aposition in TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. Tl the race, so as to give that samo bhvckavised gintleman an opportu- nity of toucbin you on the shoukllier. No matlher what the game, he who wins is an erabodiinont of human parfection. Have the pewther in your pocket, my boy, no matther where it cumes from, for silver, although it sometinies helps a jackdaw to spake whin liis tongue is split w ith a sixpence, can bye silence in this enlightened and moral age, and stifle all en(iuiry, to intinsity. Your lovin cousin, TbRRY FiNNJiGAN. ISo. S7. Stanly Sthreet, 17th July, 1863, Och ! mt jewel ! but if the Duke of Newcastle was up here on Monday last, if he wouldn't have opened his eyes in his head, tlie Korra one would be to blame but himself. The divil a word of lie I tell you, whin I ?ay that from one ind of King sthreet to the other was crowded "wid Ornngemin thrudgin along to as vinegarry music as ever Si^ueezed a tear out of you, or thried your teeth with a file. Be the mortial man, I thought my ears would be pr.lled out by the very roots, as I stood in the Queen's Park, where they all assimbled first, and which prtsinted the appearance of a gigantic painther's pallet dawbed or rather smutched wid every color intervanin betune blacd and white. Sorra such a conglomeration of dirt and dacency ever met my eyes, although I must say that, for a wondher, they were all middlin (|uiet. Takin the ginneral run of their small cloths into considheration howsomdiver, it must be admitted that John Ilylliard'e bore oft' the palm, for they were clane, and conthrasted pleasantly with Ogle R.'s and ^fr. Midcalf's, that appeared as if they had been only firstod in ouldsuiis. Well, avick, you will have hardo afore this of the iiiveable no- toriety into which Mr. G. 11. 11. Cockbuin has stepped in rela'ion to the poor, disthressed Irish, who are now rapin the binitits of the Union. This philrUithrophic Scotch gintleman, who is prencijjal of Upper Kinneda College, was axed lately to conthribute towards the relief of our unfortunate slarvin counthrymin, whin he turns on his n TERRY FINNEGAN'r LKn'EKB. ii ,vas the purpose heel, cocks up his nose, and tells the astonished applicant that it was his intention to "let the Irish lielp the Irisli," and that he would have nothin at all to say in the inatther. Now, afther all, he is not so much to hlame as a body might expect ; for the man himself, havin been bred in the lap of plinty, can scarcely sympathize strongly wid those who feel the pangs of hopeless hunger. Had he hitaself felt the witherin touch of want in the land of his birth, the case would have, no doubt, been widely difterent ; but niver know>a ihc want of a i/oose^ and plinty < f cahhaye in his fathe. hr , has completely spiled him — altho' there was no piekin c and the latther would require a few hours extrha boilin ready for the dhrippin. So yez are all to meet on the 13th proximo for of getting into handy grips once agin over the public chest. Be the law Harry John Sandfield managed the thing nately, and is a rather knowin codger. Don't you think nevertheless that he's sailin on the verge of a very dangerous reef, in connexion wid the removal of the sait of Governmint? Simple as that little question i« it is apt to upset the Ministhry if they don't look out. There are conflictin intherests af, work which it will be most difficult to amalgamate, and in my opinion the peril surroundin their adjust- ment is most imminent. Of coorse you'll keep ballancin on one leg as caushiously as possible, keepin the other ready to plant upon any spot thrown within your rache on the emergency of the moment. I see that the New York Tribune is thryin to redicule ) ou and your project regardin the future of this colony ; but we all undher- stand Yankeedom whin there comes a question of a monarchy on this continent. Now. you see, common sinse, in the present con- dition of the naighborin republic, naturally points to some system of Governmint other than that of the " United States," and that system is necessarily monarchical. A successful democracy is im- possible. Ordher is hiven's first law, and this confest, Some are and must be greater than the rest There's Pope for you ; and if you axe that schamin, good-natured vagabone. Bill Powel, perhaps he'd tell you which of the Popes it is. Oh ! sorra take that fella but he's the rake. Begorra, no matter who TERRY FINNEOAN fl LLrfERB. 73 says " no" — I believe in the rale ould Bjstem of Kings although I I am free to confess that I'd subject thiin to an odd constitutional spanshel that would keep thini within the linth of their tethei. Shure I was near forgettin, Did you know Phil Kelly, ould Dinny's son / I met him at Biddy Gorman's yestlierday, wid hib head tied up and a poultess on his left eye. "What's the matther Phil ?" sez I. •* The 12th," sez he. "How," sez I. "A brick," sez he, "from one of the 30th, but it was mint I'ur Aldherman Car, bad luck to him that wasn't in the wav of it." " Go home." sez I, "and don't be makin a show of yourself, wid your mazzard in that state, for your mother would scarcely know ij you '• Go home yourself," sez he, bilin up at mo, " or maybe I'd give you a flay in the ear to help you on the way — wid your dictatin." Bo my sowkins, I thought it was the best of my play to lave him where he was, for I saw the divi) was in him, so off I throtted while my skin was whole. My pipe, my paper and my ink are almost out, so I must sub scribe myself, Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnegah P. S. — Sind me another stock of stationary and let the envelopes be plain, for "Executive Coucil" looks quare on the red stamp. T. F. No. 28. Stanly Stiireet, 30th July, 1863. Oh ! be the holy Saint Dinnis, if I'm not nearly clear and clano out of my sinsis wid that unfortshunate limb of the divil, long Jiratny Grady, who kern in on me from the ould counthry th' other night, afther bain six weeks at say, and nearly murdher'd three or four times wid his doins among the passengers and crew. Shure 74 TKERY FINNEGAn's LETrKKS. j^lad onouy;h I was to see liim, tlio theof, and notlilti would do me, but T Rhould take liim up to the (xarinint pic nic, where if he didn't play rathoch in short sticks, my name isn't Terry Finnegan, •• What are you atin innions and dhrinking that mash for?" soz he, to a vory stout, paceable lookin man who was, I admit, a little tctched wid garlic, although he was then only squarin himself (5ppositt a keg of lager beer, out, wid a tumbler. " Take thaf," sez he, on findin that the pick-nicker didn't answer him ; plantin his fist at the same time betune both his eyes, and sthretchin him, without gig or geow in him among somo baskets and things that were lyin scatthered about. If you bleevo me, I can tell you that 1 blazed up wid shame tu the very timples, till I thought both the lugs would be burnt off me; although, indeed, whin I saw the row gettin rather gineral I had to bate one of the 10th myself; not that I had rau..h agin him, only that he wore air-rings, and looked a little consaited as I thought. Jiut it was at night, amock, that the rale goins on took place. Oh! niillia murtherl Sorra sich screechin of wimmen, wrastlin, and dustin of jackets I have seen aince I loft the ould sod; and if you only knew what a handy little wapon an impty soda bottle if, in throth you'd inthroduce it among the boys in Monthreal — it is so nticipatin, you can make the acquaintance of your innemy at a distance of tin or twelve yards, and, if you're a middlin dacent shot save him the throuble of comin a single step farther. Pon me conshins, they were flyin about me as thick as hailstones, although the divil a much harm they did me, barrin to my right eye that hasn't been out of a couple of ounces of raw beef iver since. Bad cess to the hair was turned on Jimmy at all, howiver he managed it, wid the exception of a long cut acrass his head — but the docther sez the skull isn't fir, ;ther''l — and the smashin of the small bone of his leg, that is nov»' knitten quite fast and will be all right in a few days. Well, be the man o' the moon ! but betune yerself and Mr. Baxther, if I'm not puzzled complately. Begorra, whin I can scarcely make anythin out of aither of yez respectively, what is to be expected of me whin I take yez both up together ? Here you are, shapin out a dynasty tor us in the British American Magazine, that will take us TERHT lINNECiAN'fi LETTERS. T« BOZ a considerable payriod to put into any kind of keither ; and there lie ip, Inndin us on the back of Louis Napoleon into a millanyum, within the nixt sivcn years, where the Cuniininsos and the Dliarigs will have to lay down their blackthorns, and the Kerry boys give up tlieir latin and stick to the ould, ancient Irish for the spnco of a thousand years, at laste. Ah ! be nie sowkins, I'm afraid of both of yer Nchames; but of the latter especiaily ; for well I know ^..at these same ginthry Avould niver spind an evenin over their ethayreal pottieeu short of a sthroke or two, and that ould Lanty Cuiiunins couldn't behave himself for a single quarther of an liour if lie oven had a whole townland in Paradise to himself. r. haven't read your histhory of Ireland yet, but from all I can larn up here, it is considhered about as ginniiin a thing of tlio kind as ever made its appearance from the press. What jidges say is, that you have complately winnowed out tho chaff which has always sadly be-husked our nationality and chronology, and given us nothin but the plump, round grain for our mintal stomachs. I hope you didn't forget Hume and Macaulay, and tho othar host of blaggards, that couldn't gather a ray of our ancient splindhcr from tho enact- ments of Edward IV., which sought to prohibit our chiefs from wearin "golden spurs," or jewelled equestrian trappins. I thrust you have not forgotten these worthless rapachallioms and their impty admirers who could niver see any thin very much out of the way in the Panal Code, or the bribery and corruption that carried the Union. Ha! be the mortel, D'Arcy, if you haven't given it right and left, to sich jokers as these, I'll begin to think that the Council Chamber has made a Sassanach of you. Hist! I'll not be hard on you now; for maybe your runnin youi" bullets for the 13th. If you could pop George before he got into the chair, wid a claae vote of vant of confidence, my word to you, the Ministhvy wouldn't thank you for that same, as it would sale their fate in more ways than one. D'Arcy, dear, hasn't that man most wondherful power ? That, he has ; and the saycret of much of it lies in the fact, that, takin the worst view of the case, he is always consistently wrong, at laste. What a pity it is that he is Prosbeteran and Scotch. Be the Law Harry! I'm shure somethin might have been made out of that same schamer if he had been born even in fTli 7« TKKJtY FINWEOAN'ri l.li'lTtKS. (;()nii:iii;;lit, which wo Jill uchnit to be bivoii miles ouUiklo of lielaiul. I'm clone now, aB my good eyo ia given way a little. Lot mo hoar from yon soon. I'm very much oblooged to you for tho stationary ; but aren't you aware that the fJovornor Oinneral's crest is on some of tho noto-paper and envelopes? llow did you como bv them I Look out, or you'll be gottin Dinnis (Jodley into a scrape, lilur alive, but yez must have quare goins on down there. Jimmy sends his !ove, and bcz that they had it all through tho County Waxford, that you were hung for thraison two years ago. Your lovin consin, Terry Finnkuan No. ao. Stanly Stiikeet, Ytli August, 1863. WoU, Darcy, you may say what you plaze, but lot me tell you, that so long as wo have the Scotch among us, it will bo hard to work out the monarchical prenciplo ; as, some how or other, they are all republicans on this side of the wather. I'm thinkin, howsome- divor, that if you can show thim that they'll make somethin cut of it, they'll let all minor considherations slip and fall into line if you can picket out the prade ground wid ha'pence, You nuist look to this, and let the Queen's picthers always appear upon one side of your argumint whin you are dalin wid them ; otherwise, allanah, you might as well be v/histlin jigs to a milestone. You knew ould Barney Dwyer that was at the bilen of tho gagor one night over at Toomen. To bo sure you did. AVell, his son Jimmy kem out hero some years ago and jiued a throop of min- sthrels or extemporary naygers. About a couple of months since his brother Jack, who had not harde from him since he left home, arrived here in sarch of him and of his own fortshune ; the poor fella, havin never been a day outside the townland in which he was born until he sailed for this counthry. Howsomdiver, as I was tellin you, whin he rached this, it was late at night ; and, as luck would have it, Jimmy was engaged at that very moment performin TERRY FINNEOAn's LETTERS. n aucl singin and tho divil knows what, at St. Lawrence Hall. So without any more to do down Jack bowls to clasp hiin in his arms onst more, ho being an only brother — although ho nover hardo of a minsthrel or saw one in his life. It was jist at the ind of the performance, whin Jimmy larnod tlia his brother liad arrived and was waitin in the anti-room for liin) ; RO, without Btoppin to wash his face or change his diireas, out ho dashes and rushes at my soger to smother liira wid his embraces and lay his head on his buzzom once agin. Now, Jimmy is no joke of a man ; but, let me tell you, that since tho hour he was born tho divil a sicli a box did ho ever get betune the two eyes as ho got whin he was about to lay hould of his own liesh and blood and v. '^ a dhrass wid naither more or loss u\an pure joy. "Git out you scruff o' the earth," sez Jack, aftber sthretchin him at his feet, " how dare you attimpt to lay hands on me and I waitin for me brether, you black thief you, as if I was your aquels, you naygur." Sorra sich a hallabaloo you iver hardo in your life, for Jimmy not bein able to recognize Jack, thought th'jre was some mistake in it ; so whin he got up, at it they botli wint until they were sundhered by the peelers and led off to tho lock-up where they liad time to enthcr into mutual explanations; although Jack would,nt be satisfied until Jimmy washed his face and spoke Irish to him. Was'nt that a lovely nieetin. In throth, whin I hardeit from both the boys thimselves, a sthraw could have tied me, wid the lafFm, although Jimmy's eye was complately closed at the time. i • Shure I have hardo of yonr doins down in Halifax. Sorra bit of me but thinks that maybe afther all, tho dirty spleen of the Thri- fmne may come in thrue regardiu the baronetcy and the blue ribbons Divil a doubt of it, but there's no other way of savin this samo counthry except through the thorough estau- shment and recognition of monarchical prenciple. It is this alone that can tighten us up to the friendly skirts of England and save us froi i the open maw of the neighborin Republic. Besides, if tho English onst feel that they have a constilulional stake in this colony in the shape of a prince of the royal blood, begorra they'll bo more ready to endorse our paper and look upon us as a part and parcel of tiiimselves. Al prisent they i 78 TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. are rsther shadowy ; but let thim feel that we are sthrong in the love of monarchical inatitushuns and ready to defind them as far as we can ; and see if they don't help us in the right sort of style. I lam upon good authority that the two Scotchmin who represint the city will vote dead agin the governmint if the parliamint is not bronght back here. Pon 'uy conshuns I'm afeard that they'll althcr their minds whin they get as far as Quabec ; for let me tell you that the atmosphere of that same place has a wondherful effect upon the politics and idayas of some people. Howsomdiver, they now have a chance of distiuguishin thimselves and larnin Frinch, which will be of great sarvice to thim, whin they come back, in dalin wid their customers. As for myself, I'm thinkin sariously of quittin this part of the counihry, it is so unsettled through the Glohe ; and be- sides, I'm altogether too far from the say and dillisk and cockles. Pon my sowl, if you blcevo me, I'd give at this moment a tasther or a can of sloukawn or dhoulemawn, although I' ve been toud that it was atin too much of that, whin you were young, that turned your complexion so. Ah there is somethin about the say that is not to be found on dhry land ; and I'd like to hear a fellow say boo to that same proposishun. Well, yez will soon be at it to your heart's contint; but as I hear that the Ministhry are goin to propishiate the Irish by givin the vacant Chief Justiceship down there to Mr, Dhrum- mond, I'm not inclined to say much agin thim at presint. Let thim look out, homsomdiver, for I can inform thim that in this colony the Irish elemint wont be kept undher by thim or any other set of min ou the face of the airth. The left hand they gave us in r nine i>f us at it, where iver the tlivil the rest oi'tliiin kem iVom, iui'l ;i.s luck would have it I got a very awkanl sthroke back of" my left shouldher that doesn't prove over agreeable to nie at this prisent writin. IJut the bewty of the whole thing was, that who did .lack give the scud of the blackthorn to but long Paddy Cullian, who was thryin a varse or so of "The Girl 1 left behind me" — and a boy that he thought as tiiuch of as ho does of his own son. It was rather dark, do you undhcrstand, at the point where they met, and I knew nothin at all of the aflait until I kem up and saw them both lyin on the ground and half a dozen or so fightin all round thim. Isn't it wondherful how soon a little quarrel thickens up wid people that has no more to say in it then the man of the moon ■ Paddy is a parfect problem of diachlom, havin his phiz crassed and slhraked wid stickin plasther till he looks like a New Zalandher. lie was only speechless for a short time, howiver, and Jack and himself have been consolin aich other wid an odd tumbler iver since, although the divil a bit of Jack can close his mouth in consequincv. ^f a box somebody gave him in the jaw ; but until he gels over this little bout wid the bottle, I suppose it's jist as convanient for hnn to have it as it is. Darcy, my boy, I'll now say good by, and God bless you for the prisent, for you are in need of that same. Not that I'm afraid of the nsult of your prisent contest, lor my ow,: heart tells me that vou are a man ivery inch of you. For your politics or the politics of any joker in Kinnada, I don't care tuppence, but I care for the Ihrue status of the man himself in a rale soshel point of view. I know that there's not a mane dhrop in aither Michael or you and that bairin John A.'s Scotch, he's jest of the same stamp. As for my- self the divil may care how the thing turns out, so long as the fame and purity of the ould sod are kept sacred by those who are its natural guardians on this side of the Atlantic. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnegan*. TERRY HNKE(tAN H LMTERB. No. 32 87 Stani-y Sthukct, 27tli August, 1863. Daicy! I liave I'or Llio last tliico clays bein layin out in my own mind wlietlior you'll l>e ^int to fho AV^indward Islands, pi iced upon tho Bincli, or made a Lord of. Notliin short of this lias engaged the attinshun of your humble sarvant Terry, niavourneen, for since that speech that laid down the law so bewtiful, and disturbed the grit in .lohn Sandtield's gizzard, upon my word, I'm aquel to boin tot^illy lost in the most profound admirashun of you. Yerra! man, the way that you shook the rubies, and pearls, and diamonds, out of that blackvized mug of yours, must have astonished the brigade cf dhrivellers that surrounded you in every direction. Thim was what I call " payriods," alanah ; everyone of thim with murther at itg core, although blazin at the same time like the " Koh i noor" in the first crimson Hush of mornin. Bcgorra, if you were a native of the Fee Gee Islands, and be me sowkins, you sometimes don't look very much unlike that same, I'd sware you were nursed upon some savage ( Jrattan, Burke, or Flood, so vividly do you call to my mimmory the fervid eloquince of tlie ould Irish l^arlemint, where the debates were ginneraliy punctuated on the "Phoenix" at twelve paces, every mornin ; and whin no chap would attirapt to hould up his smush in an offinsive manner without first lavin his mizzure for a shute of dale. Ah ! be the holy St. Dinnis, you may talk as you like about christian civilization, and all that sort of thing, but the divil a one knows betther then yourself, that there are times and saisons whin it's as necessary for a fella to dhrill a hole in a naighbor's waistcoat or cut his wizzen, as it is to abstain from mate in Lint, barrin undher bodily wakeness, or to give up goin to Fairs, whin he finds that he has always to bo carried in ofi' the sthreet on a doore or a shutther, Howsomdivir, be this as it may, you did your duty any way in standin uj) for rale fair play regardless of bein called an intherloper by min that are not fit to blacken your brogues, and that the fourth or fifth tumbler would lay c lane undher the table wid their faces as white as a sheet, and their stomachs workin like a mash-tub — the rubbage ! 88 TKRRY FIN N KG AN B LtlTERb. Can you tell lue, Hbthorocli, wliollitT Jolm SHtidtiekl ha.T u«it the Fee Simple of the whole of Kiiin;i rlhrivin at, unless he has got that same. J3e the mortial man, I was always of the impresshun, that undher the British Oonstitushun every subject of her Majesty the Queen, could thread any portion of the Empire wid his head erect, regardless of any whippcr snaj)per that might jump into power through the accident of a moment, and give ufi, ex cathedra, a varsion of what lie considhered to be the j)rivileges of til© masses. Faith and sowl, my very blood biles up at tiie idaya of aither Grit or Consarvative asshumin a dictatorial air in this con- nexion, or virtually applyin the term emigrant as a reproach to any man who has honestly steppetl in among us to form part and parcel of our yet highly impressible Commonwealth. Thunder and turf, I don't think that John Sandfield meant or said all that is atthributed to him ; fer, sartinly up to the prisent crisis, he has always been re- garded as an honorable man, and one largely entitled to the respect and confidence of this Province. They are all laughin at you, arn't they, me bouchal, regardin the warnin you gave thim touchin the United States ? I wondher would they take a word, from Terry, amiss on the subject. For that )natther, the divil may care whether they do or not; so here goes : — Well, then, Araeviky is not frindly to England. She showed that by her illuminashuns durin the Russian war, and her people exhibit it on every occashun possible and impossible, at the prisent moment. The Monroe docthrine lies deep at t^je core of every thrue, Yankee heart, and is now in a posishun to be realized more speedily than it ever has been since it was first enunciated. Bekase, although the prisent civil contest is devastatin the Union internally on the one hand, it is buildin it up into a mighty maritime and military nation on the other, and placin it in possession of vast armaments both by land and say, one tithe of which it would not be permitted to accu- mulate in times of pace, by the watchful Powers of Europe. These great forces are fast becomin habituated to all the dangers and the hardships of war, so as that at the close of the prisent struggle the United States will be in possession of a fearful amount of the most TERhY FINNEGAn'b LETTERS. 89 destbiuctive machinery iinagiuable, wliicli, in the hr.rKls of practi5cd veterans, may ho incite the Bperritof coii(|iiest astoiondher its sup- presshun all but impossible. In this view of tlie case, it will be ad- mitted that we here in Kinnada are in a very precarious cuM> .^^1 Photographic Sciences Corporation ^ S55 \ \\ rv <^" ^^ ^J^ 6^ S^ -%' 23 WEST MAIN STREET WEBSTER, N.Y. 14580 (716) 872-4503 90 TERRY FINNEGAN S LETTER6. got .H hint of this? Faith, you may say it is; but thin whin we come to look into it, perhaps it's not so quare afthei all. 1 forgot to tell you, howiver, that 1 was fairly disgraced by a fella of the name of C'TnAy, who was drafted in New York and racently escapee^ over here. I saw my joker, wid a stone in his hand, edgin up attords the carriage in which his lordship was sittin, and overharde him axin a cabman if that was " the Yankee scoundhrel, Soord, that was expect- ed wid the rest of thim." On bein informed that it was the repres- intitive of the Queen, on the other side of the lake, he dhropped the pebble that weighed about four pounds on a boy's toe, which led to a clout or two, and a most dhreadful pair of black eyes on the part of a sthranger that had no more to say in the raatther than the im- peror of China. Pon my word, I was sorry for the poor gintleman who, afther he got the touch, turns round wid his face parfectly purple and sez " Oh ! who did that ?" and then rushed into the Queen's, hivin one of the skirts oT his cof.t in the hands of Mick Mulcahy. There is no use in sindin the challenge you spake of in your last. Vez can see it out in the lobby, or whin yez meet in some convanient pl?ce or other. If within any thin like a rai&onable distance, I'd as leeve have a tumbler or a mug as a bullet, any day. I would advise you, howiver, to tache one or two of thim a lesson in rale Dublin style, or accordin to the sthrawberry beds of Donnybrook. You used to be good wid the left hand, whativer you are now ; at laste Jonny Shanly tould me that whin iver you ihrew a stone wid the kitthogue you always brought down your game. Don't thrust thim overmuch on the Ministayrial side of the House, but keep your eye on every chap that rubs agin you afther dark. Write on the resait of this, and if you have got what you expect from the Colonial Office, sind me a thrille. ^'our lovin cousin, Terry Finnkgan. P.S. — I'm sorry to inform you that young Tim Mullany is in jail for gettin up half dead out of the small pox and batin his step-father^ T. F. TERRY FlNNliGAN's LETTERS. No. 33. 91 Stanly Sthreet, 8th Oct., 1863. Daicy, ;i cuslila nia chiee, but be tlio blessed GHrvarry, if yoiulon't keop tliat tongue of yours silent in your head some gintleman on the Ministayiial side of the House will lave your noggin and spoon idle afore you're much oulilher. Divil a sich a vvai)on I iver harde of since the days of Dan and Mrs. Moriarty ; for it not only blazes like a rasher of bacon on the tongs, but laves a scint afthev it that stales into ivory criviss of the counthry and dhrives John Sandtield, once or twice a week, to the pump and a couple of anti-billious pills. T often wondher why that poor cratshure sits up so late for nothin at nil but to get badgered from post to pillar, and to show how wake lie is about the upper story. Pon me sowkins, I think it would be betther for hiiij to be sittin crass legged on a raft wid a tin of pay poup afore him and a grazy pack of cards in his buzzum, rather thin to be standin the fearful left-handhers that you are givin him from niornin till night and from mght till mornin agin. Ah ! but it was Ilincks that had the bewtiful idaya of the capacity of this same Pramier long ago, whin my joker was Solicitor Ginneral. Wid the t^ame false, foul sperrit displayed at the Council table attords you and others, ho wanted to snake up into the Attorney-Ginneralship of the Oovernmint of the day, and sought, in an undherhand Avay, to influ- ence " the hyana" in his favour: — "What's the use of constantly I'orin me on tliis subject, John Sandfield," observed the immaculate Francis, " whin you know yourself that you are higher up now thin you or anybody else ever thought you'd be?" — Didn't that sind him home wid a flay in his lug ? — faiih, nnd it did so ; and wellhedesarv- el it, the luochawn ! I'm sorry that Michael has desarted his colors and gone clear and (ilane over to the Scotch ; but thraitor and all as he is, I still have a naidhur for him, and sint him down a little boxof ointmint in case of his gettin any way flushed about the wrist. Still, do you know, I can't beleeve that he's wid them body and sowl, and am shure that afore long he'll give thim a hansum illusthration of that same. Shure you know, allanab, that he niver, for any linth of time, could i: 99 TEBEY I'INNEGAn's LETTEKb. sit in honest fellowship wid the mimbers of an Administhrashun wid sich pot-house proclivities. Oh ! no ; Michael, howivcr he may be entangled by thim new, will soon show thim the back eanio of his fitockin, and recover the status from which, in an evil hour, he may have teniporily fallen. The Lord aind that whin he does crass the House, he may not carry over to yez any uncomfortable accession to his musical knowledge, gained undher the lively tuition of our city represinUitives, if not undher that of the hon. mimber for South Oxford himself. Amin, sez you ; for well I know that very few of the Stoney Batther boys iver had a taste for the Scotch fiddle, and that they always gave as wide a berth as possible to a red head and a freckled fii. Blur an ounthcrs, doesn't it delight you to see the way in which that schapo grace, John A., tetches up his tint pole of a namesake wid a corker pin. Shure it's myself that can almost see him, ivery now and thin, runnin the crimpin irons over the countenance of the rraniier, till that exalted statesman's face looks like a bladdher of putty kicked out of shape. Ah ! be the mortial man, poor as I am this minnit, and I haven't as much as I could bless myself wid, I'd rather pay another pinny in the pound, and see the Threasury Binches occupied by gintlemen, at laste, whose predilecshuns would not reduce the science of governmint to a species of ground and lofty tumblin, and whose politics are not illusthrative of that intherestin and dignified little game that we used to play at home in the market, '* prick at the loop." Rely upon it, mavourneen, that sich narrow- minded and unconstitushunal intherlopers are a black sight to Kin- nada ; for they have not only ruined our credit abroad, but, through tamporin wid our insl'itushuns, have desthroyed the confidence which should obtain among us at homo. In feel)lo imiUvtion of Naro, the Praraier couldn't stand the teat of power ; for, although regarded a» a very dacent and honorable sort of a cratshurcj whin in the posishun of a half nobody, the moment the ball chanced to dhrop at his foot the filthy and acrid scum of his dwarfed sowl and narrow undher- standin came seethin to the surface, and indentified the rale status of the man on the spot ? But where's the use in talkin ? We'll have to wait until ho gets a tctch undher the ankle from the Opposishun TERRY FTNNEOAn's LETTERS. tliat will sind him into the air in tho fonii of u Q, to bo followed by the worthies who, forgetful of their solemn pledges, have sacrificed our best intherests, and bowed to the dictates of a politician, unjust contemptible, and imbecile in the exthreme. Well, avick, although the English and the Irish are undhor the rose for tho prisent, let me tell you, that up here, and the divil'a good cure to thim, they're bitin their nails, for the supineness tliov displayed at tho last election. Jest give us anether chance in this city, and if we don't sind the two sons of oat-male that now disgraces us to the right about face, my name's not Terry Finnegan. Arrah blur a live ! man, tho taste that we have got of their quality may do us good, afther all ; for sure Ood knows, I'm not sayin anythin out of the way, whin I state that there's one of thim at laste that doesn't know who made him except by common report. Oh ! wirrasthru but that's the sinnather — the gintleman that " growed up" wid us. Begorra, Sandfield ought to make him Ministher of Milissha, for lie had great exparence in makin broth in the 93rd. Well, there's nothin disgraceful in that same ; for havin spint his early days on brochawn, a good noggin of beef tay wouldn't come amiss to him whin he rose to the ranks. Now, mind I'm sarious, whin I tell you that, up here in this part of the world, some of the lads that voted for these two political runts, will give thim a cowld shouldher the first possible opportunity; bekase thoi^e worthies let the Salt of Governmint and Represintation questions slip through tlieir fingers in the teeth of all their promises and professhuns ; and, bekase the idaya, which is a jest one, is now rapidly gainin ground, that the Grits are not thrue to the Soverinnity of Great Britain. And, shure what else then disloyalty could be expected from a Cabinet composcil of Scotchmin and Yankees ? And its amazed I am, that the thing wasn't seen long and long ago. Two of the 30th was racently boxin up here, regardin a faymale who, I'm sorry to say, behaved in a very unbecomin manner. Sometime previously, she gave a wisp of her hair to a little poc marked fella called Rafferty, who proposed to take her into partner- ship for life ; but no sooner had she plited her faith to my joker then a theef of a corpler comes and supplants him in her buzzum in H TERRY FINNEQAn's LETTERS. an undherliand manner. The divil a word of the thrue state of aflfairs did poor RafFerty suspect, until the rijimint was Ip.vin for Monthreal, whin, by the merest chance, he got a glinipse of liiddy wid her arms round the corpler's nick on the Queen's warf, behind the hght house. In the twinklin of an eye both my buckies were at it ; Ratferty splittin his shupayrior's head open wid a stone, and liiddy acknowledgin the complemint by quietly brakin the arm of her poc-rnarked admirer wid a handy stick of firewood that happen- ed to be lyin on a pile beside her. The affair was hushed up, how iver ; but not to the satisfaction of the heroine of my story — for both the military gintlemin were packed off aboord the steamer, and she was left behind. T have'nt much more to say at prisont ; but I'd jest like you to in form me, at what time Lord Monck intinds callin to his Council advisers who possess the confidence of the counthry and the respect of the Home Governmint. Shurely, he must find a sad difterenco betune the lively and educated sallies of John A. and yourself, and the vulgar free and easy drivelling of some of those who now surround him. Rely upon it, from the very force of his bein a gintleman, he is heartily sick of those coarse incapables, and anxious for the irinnit whin they shall give place to their betthers. Write to me on resait of this, and believe mo, Your lovin oousin, : . . Terry Finnegan. P.S. — Tliere are some foolish rumors afloat up here about A. M. Smith ; as all his supporters assert confidently that he Imsn't taken his sate yet, but is ill somewhere in the States. T. F. TERRY FINNEGAn's LETTERS. 95 No. 34. Stanly Sthrket, Oct- 14tli, 180.1. In throth and consbins it's sorry I am that tliat brotlier-in-'aw of a sartin gintleman didn't pop him, whin he came from New Orlanes to do that same ; and may bad luck to Sicgiit for inthorfariti and previntin the celebrated statesman from bein put to bed in a wooden night shirt, wid an ilet hole dhrilled in his stomack. Ah ! Darcy dear, there must have been the ould boy to pay somewhere, whin that customer came acrass the whole continint to have a thrifling "set to" wid his manly and atfeckshinate relashun. But the sorra bit of me can bleeve it — for it's all a lie; I know it is, as well as the disgraceful story of this same worthy bein kicked down stairs in Monthreal, from rtmongst a party of frinds who caught him chatin at cards. Blur an turf! is'nt this a censorious world; and arc'nt there very quare people in it ? Well now, if I was Pramier, do you know what — begorra I'd have dacency in me at laste, and wouldn't bo runnin about the counthry into every hole and corner lookin for a vote to keep me in office, but without atirrin a peg off my sate, would come out bowldly and say, " here I am, and if yez don't give me a clane majority to carry on the governmint, yez rnay go to thedivil and find someone that's less proud than I am, to do your work;" — but, Darcy avic, that woidd'nt be John Sandfield. Is'nt it hard to sift the oatmale out of him ? Faith and it is so ; and do you know, if he sarved me as ho sarved you, and Michael, and Sicgut, ani the rest of yez, whin he sed, " min, yez know what yez have to do" — I'd take him by the nape of the nick and the sate of the britches and sind him out into the atmosfare, like a flyin squerrel, if the windy was thirty feet from the ground — the miserable cratshure. You don't know how much Michael got— do you ? They can't make a jidge of him any way ; for he hasn't been called to the rale bar yet. They say his son has got three hundhred in some of the Public Departmints. I wondber was it on a report made by the Worthington-Brunel Commisshun in view of rethrinchmint. Be tbe man o' the moon, I'm glad you are out from among sich a set of TERRY FmNEOAN's LETTERB. corrupt and dlirivellin huxthors, and that throughout the whole of the matther ybu have shown the clane fut and leg of an Irishman • Isn't it a murther John A. and two or three more of the right sort, are Scotch. Will you find out for me what his mother's name was, if you can at all ? for I give you ray word on it, my sinaare l^leef is, that she was sang to sleep in her early cradle by the sweet murmera of the Shannon, and, in openin her eyes upon this world first, gave unconshus earnest of the advint of her aplindid son, on Irish soil There's a ,intence for you that Tom Carlile or Blabinton Macauley can't bate wid all their jarmint and latin ; and it's only fair play I want, to do more, and to show Mr. Coburn of the College here, and a few other intheriopers, that Stanly sthreet can turn out more then one lad that's able to put them through their facins. Edication, in. •ieedl What difference is it to me whether Naro's wife washed her- self every mornin in asse's milk or not, or that he himself made a few fittimpts at tachin his mother how to swim undher very unfavourable circumstances? Shuro we all know that the Greeks and the Romans were nothin but a pack of shirtless blaggards, that knew no more about early mass, a runnin of pottieen, or a blackthorn stick than New Zalandher. Larnin, muryah 1 Be me sowkins, the rale larnin is to take the worth of it out of whatever's goin, to keep pace wid the times, and to strike into somethin practical instead of wastin one's life and mintal grindhers over the dhry bones of the past. That's the talk asthore, wid the gloss on it; and it would be well for minny a wandherin " classic," now out at the elbows, it he knew more of the active employmints of life then he does of the Odes of Horris, or the chawk and wather of the gluttonous omadhawn that wrote the Juggernot War — Sallust. Nominative, hie, hec, hoc; gin- native, hugeous, &c. ; vocative, carrot — Yis, begorra, and vocative pasnip, and vocative beef, and vocative piatiees, too, if you have nothin else to buy them wid in tliis counthry. That's the thruth for you ; and it will apply largely, unless you're to be made a lawyer of all out, or have a set of brains in your sconce Uke a sartin curly- headed scapegrace that I could minshun while I'd be sayin, Darcy McGee. How is John A. ? Tin shure he must have minny a quiet grin TKKRY FIN. EUAN d M^nTHRS. }>: over at the Wis on the MiDistayrial side of the Uouse. F|iith aiul sow), 1 don't wondher at it, for I givo yoii lay davy on it that til parties up here are disgusted wid them. Why, tare an ounthara, it iliey had even one sthrake of the gintlenian in their coinposishuu atsflf, a body miglit put up wid them for a while ; but jej-t look at them as they are, and then say if y»>u ever met sieh a disrcjnitablo I rew in the whole coorse of your life, or men less qualified to houM the posishun they now occupy. That they'll soon run the linth of their tether, there is no earthly doubt; but that in the intherim this counthry will be ruineolislied on the roc.ommindation of the Brunei- Worthington Commission are bein rn-created agin. Oh, but these are the boys that did the work iiately, and put John Sandfield in a posishun to disthribute tiin paLhrouage uf the Crown honestly and fairly.' Abolish sich and sieh Ports, says the Pramier ; and whin I get the supporters of the late Governmint out of them and out of office, I will call the Port?. \oto existence agio • -v«^- TKItUY UNNKOAN ri LKTrKRS. 09 Isn't lit' !i l»e\vly without, \mn{ '. Moro loaded dia-— mm »io ju'litirHl Macklcggin — more cjuluvorous grinnin at tli« success of liin |>eiiy inthriguo.H, until ho is txt last kicko*' into iho gutther that nursed hitu iVoin his cnidlo, and filled liis loot ju'inis up to tho prisent. Vm glad to hear that Michuol is not so far gone ns T thought he was; and that he would have voted against ''the earl of Cork'' ~ which you knov/ is tho worst card in the pack — if it could he only shown to him that his- vote would do tho work effectually. I hoar, in addishun that the wholo Ministhry are disgusted wid the lowness and ruffianly coarseness of their miserable ladher, and that it is the tear for their own existence simply, which dhrives them into any recognition of hiin. Well, I can readily beleeve this, for never in my expanance at home or abroad have T met or ro.ul of such a dis. reputable and dishonest huxlher. l>ad scran to me, but poor a man and all as I am to-day, I would'nt take the wealth ofDamor and lie down on my bod with a carracther as bad as that of John Randfield Ma;;dona'ul. A doore or two away from me, the other night there was thodivil to pay. I was wakened about a quarther to twelve wid a screech that sint me into my small clothes in what you my call a lively man- ner and whin I r ached the sthreet, what d'ye think I saw but one- handed Nat Doolan, purty well I thank you, sittin on a peeler'.s stomach, smokin. It appears that the legal funkshinary wint into the house to take him for somethin or other, and one word borred another till they both tussled out on the sidewalk, whin Nat gave him a sthroke wid his wooden arm and knocked him as sinseless as a stone. In throth I niver saw the like in aiy life; and it was well that I ever got Nat away or the poor peeler brought to. I am done now and you can tell John Sandfield that Mr. Spince is gettin betther and betther every day ; and that there is a schape-grace of a fella up here that's goin to embalm the prisent governniint in a nate little vol urn of poethry of the right sort. Your lovin cousin, Terry Finnkgak. So. 36. Stanlv Sthkkkt, .'iOth Oct., 1863. , Faith and sow), I don't know what Misther Rose tl.e Ladher manes. Hit is the Hon. John Kose of Mo nth real that has been appointed to the t' iritherlo|>err> get since they stumbled into their |)ri8ent possishuii. Mind my words for it, that although Ingland doesn't like to aay much on the subject of Canadian politics, she has Jier eye upon the mimber for Cornwall, and will pay off his wakeiii'ss, vulgarity and presumshun wheniver she can do so without committin herself. In the prisent case, she has taken from the tlure of the House of Assim^y one of the most prominent numbers of the (>|»posi8hun, and placed him in .a spot that is beyond the rache of the blackleggin ginthry whoso low thricky and unprincipled legislashun has matle us a by-word amongst the nashuns of the earth, and oven dhrawn down upon us the disapprobaahun of the American newspaper press, which we all know can itself shake a purty loose leg in the matther of polities'. There is one thing, howsomdiver, and that is, if the Pramiei and his collagues have even ruined our credit abroad and shaken our institu- sbuns at home, they have tixcd the iate proprietor of the Globe any- way ; for the divil resave the bit, if the people of this Province will, for some time to come at laste, have auythin to do with anethcr batch of John Sandtield's kidney, that otiered to bribe the Grand Thrunk into supportiu them, wid money filched from the Public Chest; and that paid out, without the sanction of Parliament, the hard earnins of the counthry, to no purpose, and squandhered thou- sands in not only useless but pernisbus Commisions, &c., while to cap the climax, not a single complate or eflficient missure has been given to the Province by them, although now goin on two years in office. Blur and turf, Darcy, aren't they great statesmin ? And ought not the whole of them get their porthraits painted by Misther Gush up here, who has done the dry goods mimber for this city so bewtiful that a cat put up her back at him the other day, takin the f ice no doubt for that of a Scotch coley that had jest got a dose of siulphur and new milk for the mange. Aw. AI. is, I undherstand, contint wid a fotograf ; havin had bad luck wid the sugar that the late Out-door Surveyor of Customs here caught his agents abstract- in, some time ago, from one of the Queen's Warehouses without payment of duty," whin the funds were rather low I suppose. Isn't it creditable of him to curtail his expiuses undher sich circumstances ; but wasn't it cute of the Surveyor to be up bright and airly, and jest in time to stop the teams wid the sugar ? Faith and it was so. TF.RRT FINNEGAN 8 LKTIERS. lOl < >f coor»e yuu harde of the boxiu niatch that a c<»ii[>le of swaddlers had up in London lately, on a Sunday evenin in the Wcsloyan iMeti)odi8t Chaptil there, and before a lar<,'o and adniirin congreca- tiou. Begorra, there's a pew steward, as they term it, up lliore I ailed Teether, who palls upon the dacency and conmiou sinso of thai same community. Some chap ot the name of Wigmoro didn't pay his powrint in advance, ; and this bucky, in cwnsequencc, g»iz/,letored and educated mind, unfit him for a thorough appreshiashvn of the florid and ethayreal bewties that pervade the ragions of thrne poethry, and separate them from those of prose. People who are prone naturally to the dhry details of science are unsafe guides in this connexion, and verity the sayin : " Those who arc fond of mathematics are not given to the Gods." Darcy, my sthochoch, don't you notice a good dale of eddieatiou aboutjme this mornin ? That you do ; and let me tell you that it's lost 1 am among sich a pack of omadhauns as we iiave up here ; for barrin one or two correspondents of the Zadher, the divil a taste but there's scarcely one of them can throw a word to a dog. Is it thrue that you're comin up here to lecther ? I hope you are; and I tell you what, if you select for yer subject the influence of John Knox upon the polititics of the Globe^ begorra, I'll insure you a rattlin house, and as good a supper as ever crassed your lips aftherwards. Yerra, man, Joe Gregor or McConkey & Oarlile here, have as dacent a dhrop of " the cratshure" as ever stretched you at yer own thrashold, and that's sayin scmethin. Brown won't begride, I'm 8ure, to take the chair, as he now has not so jnuch tc do as he used to have. But don't let it be opened wid prayei', for that would be ioo much of a good thing. I am done now. Is it thrue that the Spaker is buildin a new counthry sait, to whicli he is goin to have hangin gardens attached like those of Babylon ? Write to me soon. My paper is jest done, so I must stop ; for ever since you have been turned out, I have been rather short of Btashuuary. Your loving cousin, Thhkv Fixnkgan. .\o. 37. Stanlv SijiRiiEr, otli Nov., 1863. Well, allanah, how do you feel about this particular saison of the year I Somethin like a huudhred and sixty years ago we made a hould sthroke at our indepindence ; and only for that blaggard Guy Fawkes' lanthern taat laked, bo me sowl, its a papist king we might have on the tl""'>v.e to-day, dacent and all as the woman is who at prisent fills thesituashun of soverin. For the last fifty years I have TERSY FINNECUN 8 LETTERS. 103 o always made it a point to buy a quartlier of a pound of gunpowdher to let off on the harthstone, so as that I might have a sniff of the ould times in the house on this the annivarsary of the famous plot, that had for its object tlie arial excurshun of the British parlemint, wid the king ladin the way through the sky like a wild goose in front of the flock. And the divil a taste, if that same king did notdesarve all that was intendid for him; although it would take no small amount of force to tare his shamblin and ungainly joints assundher, and would require nearly a whole kag of the " dimord grain" t make a shuttle-cock of one of his ugly and massive paws. I always hated the f'=illa any way, for he was Scotch to the back bone, and we all know what follows whin that's the case. But what makes him more disagreeable to me, and to every ginnerous nature, is his shal- low-brained pedanthry, and his murther of a very respectable man, Sir Walther Railly — the ruffin. Well, perhaps he is doin as well to day, that same king, as if he had all the gunpowalier in the world l)lazin about him; for my opinion is that as long as he has a finger on him he needn't put any frind of his to the throuble of kindlin his pipe in his prisent abode, bavin a lighted match so convaynient himself. Sure I met Michael up here the other day, poorly dhressed enough. He wanted to avoid me; but the divil a bit of ma would let him. "book at yourself nov," sez I, catchin him by the button hole, "and